davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
A SAMPLE Quip.

Thomas w Lawson's Thanksgiv
ing proclamation was a very good
piece of oratorical writing" said a
Boston banker. Lawson is always
full OF quips.
Not long ago | attended the flu
neral of millionaire tinancier-one
of those real high financiers' whose
low methods Lawson loves to turn the
light on
Il arrived at the funeral little
late took a seat beside Lawson
and whispered:
How far has the service gone?'
Lawson, nodding towards the cler
gyman in the pulpit whispered back:
Just opened for the defense"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
ten MILLION PEOPLE
IN THE CANADIAN
WEST BY 1920
'sroronto STAR" Dec. 18th. 1910.

Toronto STAR" Dec. 10th, 1910.
The prediction is made that before
1920 Manitoba, Saskatchewan, AL.
berta and British Columbia will have
ten million people. 1t is made not by
sanguine Western journal but by
that very sober business newspaper,
the New York Commercial. 1t is
based upon actual observation, upon
the wheat-growing capacity of the Ca
madam West, and upon the prospects
OF development following the build.
ing Of railways. The writer shows
how the position of leading wheat
market of the world passed from
Milwaukee to Minneapolis and thence
to Winnipeg. Canada's wheat-grow-
Ing belt is four times greater than
that of the United States, and only
five per cent of Canada's western agri-
cultural area Is under cultivation.
There are 170.0O0,0O0 acres of wheat
lands which will make these Western
Provinces richer, more populous, more
dependable for food supplies than the
Western States can ever become. The
center of food supremacy will change
to Canada, and 25 years more will
give this country 100000 popula-
ton west of Ontario.
All these estimates of population
are in the nature of guesses, and must
not be read too literally. But the
enormous area of wheat-growing land,
the rapid construction of railways.
and the large volume of immigration
are facts which must be recognized.
They point to the production of an
ever-increasing surplus of wheat and
other cereals. However rapidly the
urban, the industrial and commercial
population of Canada may increase,
the increase of home consumption is
hardly likely to keep pace with that
of the production of wheat; for sin
gle acre of wheat will provide for the
average annual consumption of four
people.
While production in Canada is thus
running ahead of consumption at a
prodigious rate, consumption in the
United States is overtaking produc-
ton, and the surplus for export is
growing smaller year by year. 1t Is
true that the limit of actual power to
produce wheat is as yet far away.
BY methods of Intensive cultivation,
such as prevail in France, the produc,-
ton could be greatly increased. But
with the overlooking granary of Can
ada SO close at hand, it seems likely
that our neighbors will begin to i'm
port from us, turning their own en-
ergies more largely to other forms OF
agriculture.
1t must be remembered that while
the Northern States resemble Canada
In climate and products, the resem-
blance diminishes as you go south
ward. The wheat belt gives place to
corn belt, and this again to semi
tropical regions producing cotton, to-
bacco, cane-sugar, oranges and other
tropical fruits.
The man who secures a farm in
Western Canada at the present time
secures an investment better than the
best of bond Of any government or
bank. 1t is no unusual thing for a
farmer in Western Canada to realize
a profit of from S. to $40 per acre.
There are thousands Of free home
steads of l6O acres each still to be
had, and particulars can be obtained
by writing your nearest Canadian gov.
eminent agent.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
Eather,s Vocal Talent.

Eddy's Aunt Emma, who had been
travelling in Europe, was expected to
reach the house at midnight. and Ed
die begged to be allowed to stay up to
greet her. But his mother refused to
give consent. mo" she said, decid-
eddy, ut would be five long hours aft
er your bedtime, and you couldn't
possibly stay awake as long as that"
ooh, yes. CAM" Eddie walled; II
can If papa will sing lullabies to me. :"
Woman's Home Companion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
Youno at the Business.

General Howard was an invited
guest at dinner given by boys
patriotic club. You eat very we'll
my boy" said the general to doughty
young trencherman If you love youl
flag as we'll as your dinner you'll
make good patriot
Yes. sir" said the boy; but I've
been practising eating l2 years, and
amt owned a gun but six months
Success Magazine.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
Back. Then. 70 the Farm.

Richard Croker, during his VISIT To
New York last month, discussed with
reporter the high cost of living.
The farmers are all right" said
Mr.. Croker. 1T is the people who In
sist on living i'll the towns who find
everything too dear In the towns,
you see. the expenses are as bother
some as the children
"A little boy in a tiny fiat looked up
from his drum one day and said:
Mother. Adam and Eve lived in
Paradise. What was it like there?"
Like what ii is here his mother
answered, when you eight children
are all at school,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

the kidneys. Do so
with Doan's Kidney
Pills. j. E. Dunlap.
Kennel, Mo-, says:
"My condition was
terrible. l was in
bed for six weeks
and could not move
owing to intense pain
in my back. NV feet
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
Fame and Fate.

Fame and Fate.
Fame came to the man.
81 will have five-cent cigar named
for you," she said, sweetly.
Fate followed on he1 heels.
IN make you smoke the cigar!"
Kissed Fate.
Hastily the nah turned down the
byway to obscurity.-Life.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
WEAK BACKS MADE STRONG.

Backache in most cases is kidney
ache. and usually accompanied by IT.
Irregularities of the urine To remove
the pain and weakness, you must cure
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

Constipation causes and seriously aggra.
Yates many diseases. 1t is thoroughly cured
BY DIR. Pierce's Pellets. Tiny susar-coated
granulas.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
United States Now Is Fourth.
The populations OF leading foreign cour
/, ,;as In their last census We're as follo,,.

Austria- HungATY ITyUJ. ........... AS 176 23O
Germany IS growing faster than any of
the modern countries excepting the United
States. but its population. according to
the latest figures, was only 6O641 COO The
census of this year. 1t is expected. will
show about 65OOO.OOO.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

Hiding tallow dip under a bushel
does not make It an arc light.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take LAXATIVE BRONo Quinine TablssA
DrugGists refund money II It fails to cure. 4. ".
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
A Eriendlx lin.

Now that provisions are lower,
Mrs. flasher" said the fussy boarder,
don't you think you ought to reduce
your rates?"
NO, indeed" replied the landlady.
81 find it hard to pay my debts as It
is
But suggested the fussy boarder.
"if you paid in advance as you make
others do, you would have no debts"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

PILES CURED IN TO II DAYS
FOUR druggist will refund money IL pAZO ONT.
MENT fails 10 cure any, case OF Itching, Blind,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

scant and distressing. After taking
DOCTORS treatments without relief, 1
began with Doan's Kidney Pills. They
Strengthened me up in hurry
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. so cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

The main difference between pro.
fessional man and tradesman is that
great many times the tradesman can
buy and sell the professor.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

For over fifty years Rheumatism, Neu-
ralgia, and other painful ailments have
a good honest remedy and YOU will not
regret having bottle ready for use.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

Modern life pushes man into the
mud and then chides him for mater
ialism.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

True charity will seek to purify
the well and not rest content with
painting the pump.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

One of the worst things under the
sun is a shady reputation.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

Mrs. wlnnow's Soothing syrup.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
patton

"For over nine years suffered with chres,a
constipation and during this time had to take
an injection Of warm water once every ~ hour
before could have an action on my boweia
Happily tried cascarets, and today am wen
man. During the nine years before used
piles. Thanks to you, am free from all thar
this morhing. You can use this In behalf Of
suffering humanity. B. F. Fisher, Roanoke, III.
Pleasant. Palatable. Potent. Taste Good.
Do Good. Never Sicken. Weaken or Gripo.
loc. Csc. Soc. Never sold In bulk. The gem
utne tablet stamped CCC. Guaranteed to
cure OF your money back. $50
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
Easy Santa.

From Judge.
Bobby (on Christmas mornng) --Where
does Santa get all his things, mama?
Mama-Oh, he buys them
Bobby--Well, he must be a jay to let
any one palm off tin watch on him!
1t is estimated that New York has
$50 moving picture shows, with a seat
ing capacity of 100000.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

Petrified creeds always have the
sharpest angles.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

See here, my dear sir! Didn't I
tell you not to drink with your meals7''
But. doctor. be reasonable. have
to eat some time"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

Calculated piety is the poorest kind
of calculation.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
Art in the Nude.

Art IN INC NU0S.
The photographers lady was very
preoccupied showing some samples Of
work to prospective sitters, when
tall and raw-boned individual. appar-
emily from 1.-The land,' stalked solemn
ly into the studio, and intimated that
he would like to know what the pic
tiers" were worth.
Like that. 50 Dozen said the
photographers lady, handing him
one.
The farmer gazed long and earnest
ly at the photograph of a very small
baby sitting in wash basin
And what would it cost rith Gy
clothes on?" he finally asked
Habit Grows.
Il hate to see little country buy.
ing its first battleship."
"Why?"
Reminds me ot boy 4aking his
6rst smoke"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
Manv Feel So.

Many Feel So.
I'm so sorry about it. but my hus-
band actually hates music"
How strange."
Isn't it. His prejudice is so strong
that he has to jump up and leave the
theater whenever the orchestra is play
ing an entr'-acte."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
! I oodiS
Sarsa pariila

Eradicates scrofula and all
other humors, cures all their
effects, makes the blood rich
and abundant, strengthens all
the vital organs. Take it.
Get it toGay in usual liquid form or
chocolated tablets called SarSatabS.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

Many who think they mean right
are right mean.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26

Natick, Mass.,-ssI cannot express wf
went through during the Change OF Life be
ILL tried Lydia H. Pinkhan's Vegetable {
Ipound. L was in such a nervous conditi
|could not keep still. My limbs were COLI
had creepy sensations and could not S
lnights. / was finally told by two physic
THAT had a t,lmor.
ST read one day of the wonderful cures II
1by Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegetable COmpo
land decided to try it, and it has made me a
woman. My neighbors and friends decla
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-01-26
ANOTHER SIMILAR CASE.

For 80 years Lydia r. Pinkham's We:
Compound has been the standard rem,
female ills. No sick woman does jus
herself who will not try this famous me
Made exclusively from roots and kerk
has thousands of cures to it's credit
nmpas, Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick
to write her for advice. 81
guided thousands to health free of {
Address MRS. Pinkham, Lynn
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1911-09-08
CENTERDALE

The Star Theatre opened on Monday.
H.A. Fenner has purchased two new
hacks.
The North Providence schools will re.
open on Monday.
The Centredales defeated the Alcos on
Labor Day, to g.
Frank Cloutier has been appointed police
constable without pay.
lanes Broley has returned from va
cation spent in New York.
The sidewalks in front of St. Lawrence
Church are to be concreted.
Peter Barlow is able to be out after an
illness Of nearly six weeks
The North Providence town council can
vassed the voting list on Tuesday.
DR.. 1. S Cook has removed his office to
the residence Of Mrs. Esther Grelves'
The Centredales play the Hopkins on
Broley's Oval on Saturday afternoon.
MIR. and Mrs. Arthur Bottomley have
returned from a stay at Warwick Downs.
"Gn" Forgue of this place, has a bat
ting record of 379 in the Canadian Base
Ball League.
The Centerdale Free Library opened on
Tuesday evening, after being closed Tor
the summer months.
The North Providence Tax Assessors
have been holding regular sessions at the
Town Clerks office.
John Clark Jr., who was thrown from
his motorcycle about two weeks ago, is
able to be about again.
DIR F. n. BRAZIL of Greenvillc, has
opened a Centredale Office in the rooms
adjoining the Centredale Drug Store.
The following bills were allowed at the
council meeting on Tuesday. Narragan-
sett Electric Company S2o4 80; E. L.Free-
man, S6.65; Providence Telephone Conn
pany, $7.73; Michael Gorham, $I4; Char
les A. Mccormick, SI4; Antonio Capuana,
$I4; John E. Hunt, George II. Hill, SI4;
Louis A. Sweet, $50; George p. Willis
$1,000; Whittemore and Colburn, S35.75;
Patrick II. McAleer tax remittance, So;
Rhode Island News Company, a.2o; John
r. White, $40; Hovey Lumber Company,
S3o.7S; Joseph T, Bouey, $40. 50; William
A. Sweet, S7So45; Willis II. Sweet S92,45
Standard Oil Company, SI6S.96; Dominica
Conca, SI2.5o; Rex and Carpenter SIPS
The bill of Johe Ogden for services from
Aug, to Aug ID was laid OH the table.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1911-09-08
The Problem of the Glacier.

The curves of variation OF glaciers
which are collected In the Alpine mu-
scum I'm Berne show, according to Pro
fessor Brueckner, that the twenty-six
great glaciers Of Switzerland which
were very extensive Mt the beginning
OF the nineteenth century thereafter
receded, at first slowly and then more
rapidly, until the close Of the century.
The course Of recession was interrupt
ed about the middle OF the century by
n brief advance, in which only two
glaciers exceeded the limits that
bounded them at the commencement
of the century. The glaciers showed
second slight advance between 1890
and 1895. Although the curves Of the
various glaciers are similar In gen
erai, each exhibits well marked pc
culiarities, which make 1t difficult to
trace any connection between eli
matte changes and fluctuations In gla-
citation The problem Of the glaciers
Is still involved in obscurity, and much
patient research will be required to
effect it's solution.-Scientific Ameri
can.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1911-09-08
FOLLOWING In His Footsteps.

Visitors to China are particularly
struck 10y the numbers Of pairs of
boots hung in separate wooden cages
in the archway Of the main west gate
Of Hsuanhua, the valedictory gifts Of
beneGcent projects. 1t IA an attrac-
tive custom I'm China to invite de
parting magistrate whose rule has
been popular to leave n pair OF old
boots for suspension in a prominent
place as hint to his successor to fol
low in his footsteps. II is n consider
able honor 10 be asked to leave thcs,
boots, and the ruled make the repucS
all the more eagerly because they be
lieve in the efficacy of the hint
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1911-09-08
RUSH OF THE CRESTED SEA,
Mount st. MieheI's Tidal Wave One Of
the Sights of the World.

At o'clock In the afternoon people
gather on the causeway that connects
the islet Of Mount st. Michel with the
French coast to watch the coming of
the tide. one Of the sights Of the
world.
AS far as the eye can reach stretches
the gray sand, silent. empty. Seven
miles and half lie between the ocean
and the rock. Presently a strange
murmur pervades the air. 1t seems
to come from nowhere and yet to be
everywhere.
And then far on tho horizon lifts a
line of white. Every moment 1t draws
nearer, and the sound in the air swells
louder, and then with astonishing
speed up the line Of crested sea. and
I'm a moment, where 1t reaches the
sands, there Is but space Of swirling
water. And on the waves ride In the
fishing boats that have gone out to
sea on the tide at dawn.
Many a tragedy has been caused by
the swift thrush OF this true tidal wave.
for, save along narrow paths, the bot
tom OF this vast, strange bay Is but
quicksand, and after the tide has once
turned and the sound Of its coming Is
heard no man can hope to escape its
reach unless he be close indeed to the
mount or the shores Of the mainland
Travel Magazine.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1911-09-08
MEAT FOR MUSIC.
The Way Haydn's "ox" Minuet Came
to Get That Title.


There is no sensible reason for the
titles attached to many pieces Of mu-
sic, some OF them even classical Sc
lections. Most generally they are
placed there as an attempt of some
publisher to "boom" his stock and sell
his goods. Then again, some peculiar
titles may have their origin in incl
dents about as important as the fol-
lowing:
Haydn one day received a visit from
n butcher who said that himself and
his daughters were admirers Of
Haydn's music and rs the young
woman was soon to be married he
made bold to ask that the composer
write a minuet for her wedding. Kind
Papa Haydn" consented, and in few
days the man Of meat obtained his
music. Not long afterward Haydn
was surprised to hear this same min
net played under his window. On
looking out he saw band OF musi-
clans forming n ring around n large
OK, tastefully decorated with flowers
Soon the butcher came up and pre-
sented the OK to Haydn, saying that
for such excellent music he thought
he ought to make the composer a
present Of the best OK In his posses
sion. Ever after this little compost
ton was called the COX" minuet.-W.
Francis Gates in anecdotes of Great
Musicians"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1911-09-08
WATCHES FOR THE BLIND.
They Are Made With Raised Numerals
and Without CRYSTALS.


The fingers of blind man were
skimming over the pages Of a book In
the reading room for the slghtless In
the public library when he suddenly
drew a watch from his pocket, opened
the face, closed 10 with a snap and
then placed his book on the table.
Its 4 o'clock. / guess I'd better be
going" he said to the librarian, who was
lowering near 10 attend to the wants
of her readers. The book was replaced
on the Shelf. and the blind man arose
and departed.
The blind mans telling time by a
watch impressed a visitor, who asked
about il.
"You will find" said the Librarian.
that most blind persons carry
watches and often consult them. The
watches are Of the hunting case sort,
but they have no crystal, and the nu'
merals are embossed. The blind per
son opens the case, and by pressing
his fingers lightly on the face he can
tell the time instantly by the position
Of the hands. The watches are espe-
cially made for the sightless, the
hands being made differently, so they
may be distinguished at once.
81 have seen blind persons stand
near an electric clock, that strikes once
on the hour, and with watch in hand
wait until the bell rings. AZ II does
so they set their own by moving the
minute hand around until it touches
their thumb nail, which is held exact.
ly at 12"-New York Times.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1911-09-08
A TRIAL OF STRENGTH.
Tho Feat That Was Performed by
Adarqoma, the Wrestler.


Tradition has immortalized one Adar-
gonna Of Grand Canary, who could
wrestle for two consecutive hours and,
having been thrown undermost In a
certain contest. got his antagonist be-
tween his legs and arms and squeezed
him so that his bones began to crack.
The native was subsequently sent as
n prisoner to Spain, where he astound-
ed the people by his performances.
One day In Seville he was visited by a
brawny youth Of La Mancha, who was
anxious to try n bout with him. my
good friend" said Adargoma, 'as we
are going to wrestle together It is only
reasonable that we should begin by
drinking something"
A large bowl Of wine having been
brought, he took this in one hand and
continued to address his challenger:
"If with both your arms you can over
power one Of mine so as to hinder me
from drinking every drop Of this wine
we will try our strength together; II
not, you may return to your home"
The struggle took place, and Adargo-
ma by degrees drained the bowl In the
coolest manner without spilling drop
Of the wine. His one hand was more
than match for the others two.-
London Spectator.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1911-09-08
British Local Nicknames.

The residents Of the English coun
ties have nicknames the meaning and
origin of which are not always OBJ
vious. why the inhabitants OF Liver
pool should be called "Dicky Sans is
not very clear. But nearly all the
counties have their distinctive nick
names. The Glaswegians are "Kee'
lies" the Lancashire men are Tim
Robbins" Yorkshire men, again. ara
everywhere "Tykes," nickname the
etymology Of which Is not easy tc
trace. The inhabitants Of Suffolk are
designated "Dumplings," those OF
Kent Hogs" and the Isle Of Wight
people Calves"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1911-09-08
The PLAY OF "OthelIo"

Viewed exclusively as d"amati,
fabric, 'Othello' Is not only the best Oi
Shakespeare's plays. but the best play
in the English language" says VII
liam Winter In the Century. mo sto
ry could be more simple, direct, fluent
and elementally tragic, but with what
marvellous skill the poet has told it,
with what ingenuity of invention, with
what vibrant vitality Of continuous
action, with what ample and superb
drawing of character, what prodigious
volume of feeling, what tumut Of
surging and conflicting passion and
what perfection of poetic style"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1911-09-08
How Franklin Learned Manners.

Franklin collected thirteen principles
to cover the small amenities Of daily
life. Each week he picked out one and
practiced it diligently, thus creating Il
habit. 1t took three months to cover
them all. Each year he practiced each
one four full weeks. lie kept this up
for many years. The uncouth Frank
lin Of early manhood who found fault
with his wife for giving him silver
spoon and n china bowl for his bread
and milk instead Of n pewter spoon
and earthenware crock, developed into
the statesman and man Of the world
who won the respect of Englishmen
the admiration Of Frenchmen and the
gratitude Of Americans. Harring
ton Emerson in Engineering Magazine