davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
uNcoNvENrloNALITIEs

Gee! How you've aged since I
saw you last. old boyl"
your little girls ears are very prom
Inent. Mrs. Throggins. I'd have them
treated II / were you"
-IlI be perfectly frank with you.
Mr.. Jings; I'm marrying you for your
money"
-The reason why I want my hfe IN
sured is because have heart troa-
hls."
Il heard you read your text. Dr.
Fourthly. but ] slept through the
sermon"
I'm Offering my house and lot cheap
because this isn't a desirable neigh
borhood."
"wen like TO have you come and
visit Us, Uncle Pete. II you'd stay only
a day or two"
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
SUCCESSOR OF PAUL MORTON

William A. Day was elected presi.
dent Of the Equitable Life Assurance
society to succeed the late Paul Nor
ton. Mr.. Day has been acting as presi-
dent since Mr.. Morton's death.
He has been vice-president Of the
company since 1906. Mr.. Day acted
as special assistant to the attorney
general in the interstate commerce
and antitrust cases.
Mr.. Days salary will be $4,000 q
year. as against $4,000 a year paid
Mr.. Morton.
The board went on record in favor
Of naturalization, continued the com
mittee on naturalization, and instruct
ed 1t to cooperate with the state de-
partment Of insurance. the trustees
and Mr.. Morgan.
The vote stood twenty-six for Mr..
Day and three against, and was made
unanimous Thomas Spratt, chair
man Of the committee on reorganIza.
tion, said there was no opposition to
Mr.. Day on personal grounds, but
that the trustees and superintendent
have been postponed until definite
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
RAILROAD MAN Is HoNoREp

o. l. Dickson Of the Chicago. Bur
lIngton & Quincy Railway company
was appointed vice-president OF the
White Pass & Yukon route. the most
important railway property tapping
the rich mineral fields Of Alaska.
This promotion comes TO Mr. Dick
eson after brilliant record, achieved
in the Chicago and middle west rail
road world AS superintendent OF
transportation Of the Burlington. he
has handled many Of the important
general policy transactions. not only
Of the Burlington. but OF all the rail-
roads centering In Chicago.
Mr.. Dickson is a young man. He
was born in ottumwa, Iowa. in 1871.
His father was a pioneer Baptist min
lister, and Is still living, enjoying q
prime old age, now more than eighty
years Of age. He received bis early
education in the Ottumwa public
schools. At the age Of fifteen he was
compelled to make his own way. He
came to Chicago. and by sheer pluck
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

then he met her on the street as she
was going to the postofice and
stopped her to say:
Been thinking that thing over, Of
course? When will you be readyI"
Never in all my born days!" she
replied.
"oh, yes, you win. Widow, I'm a
determined man. We are going to be
married. as Just wondering Why
| didn't marry you two years ago"
you poster me and I'll have the
law on you" she almost shouted.
"You can't make 1t pestering to ask
a woman to marry you. jog along.
widow-1'll come for you when work
slacks of a little.
Two weeks later the widow saw Mr..
Skeen approaching the house and she
shut and locked all the doors. He
was In nowise put out. He stopped al
an open window, and with his head
inside and his body out he cheerfully
inquired:
"Shall we go before the souar'.
widow, or to a preacher, I'm willing
you should have your way about IT,
Neither squar' nor preacher. and
you get out Of that window" was
called to him.
"Oh. it's got to be one or the other,
you know. Think it ever"
4 won't do 1T"
But you'll have to. Widow. rm
sot, and when I'm sot that's the end
Of It, You are going to be Mrs. Sksen
No. 2. You can tell all your friends. "
"Ill have you arrested before sun.
down. III go right on now and see
the constabIel"
She was aa good as her word. She
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
Won at Last
BY CARL JENKINS


Mr.. James Skeen was a widower Of
atty. He had the reputation Of be-
ing a persistent man. AS be had had
a lawsuit that lasted twenty-five years.
his persisteney had been proved. II
was also known that be had courted
bis wife for six years and then car
ried her on by main force
Mrs. Faber was a widow. She was
pretty well fixed financially. and she
didn't care to marry again. She had
been put to the test and had refused.
She was buxom and good-natured, and
Widower Skeen had no moral or legal
right to come bothering. But he did.
He made up his mind one day to
ask her to be his wife. He expected
to be refused. but that didn't worry
him.
The widower was hoeing corn In a
lot next to the Widows house. He
was barefooted and had on q torn
shirt. a pair OF .overalls and an old
straw hat. Five minutes after making
up his mind he dropped bis hoe.
climbed the fence and appeared At
the widows back door. She was scour-
ing milk pan. She had polished
her nose as well as the pan.
"Look-a-here, widow" sid Mr..
skeen. what's the matter Of me and
You getting married?"
Lord save usl'. gasped the widow
as she polished her hsnd instead Of
the pan.
Jars you, ehG Well It shouldn't!
A widow ought to be ready for a pro
posal any minute"
"And a widower ought to have his
ears cuffed for making Qnel Marry
you. Jim Skeeni Why, wouldn'l
think of It for a mlnutel"
"Oh, yes, you will. You'll think Of
1t great many minutes. Widow
Faber. you are going to be my second
wife as sure as corn grows and string
beans climb"
Il never wfil, and you get out oi
here and back to your corn!"
Mr.. Skeen went back to his worl
whlstling The widow was as gooC
as his. He let a week elapse anC
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
A PRIVATE VIEW.

Sweet music e'er 10 me appeals
And often do rave about Il,
Yet when I'm busy with my meals
! would rather DO without L.
Philosophers do revere
And l am awestruck at their power,
But nathless do l have 10 hear
hy wife expounding schopsnhause.
IN poesy DO I delight
And pay much attention 10 Il,
But when my friends their verses Wrlts
! wendsr Just what makes them do n
Finance 70 mes no mystery.
Trades not a subject that's above me.
But why do people come to me
TO try to borrow money Of met
LIES laden with 90 many woes.
To most It's empty Of attraction:
On every side we notice those
who view II with dissatisfaction,
Ana yet (sll through the day and night
Deep thought TO It / haVs been giving
! notice they all hold 81 tight
And all Of them ia9iak on livingl
Nathan NJ Levy III the New York
sun.
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
Haa a nIn Wardrobs.

ITS Just the way of the world. jim,
observed Philosophic Phil. Some as
the luck and some as the kicks"
Jim nodded. He was new to the
ropes.
"see that feIIer, for instance" pur-
sued the penniless philosopher. N.Y.
what a swaggerl Well. when g came
to London e 'adnt got a coat to his
back. Now 'e's got millions"
"Millionsl" exclaimed Jim.
Eyes, Millions" replied Phil sol
EMMY.
We'll, I'm blowedl" declared Jim.
as he fastened his eyes on the swag,
gerer's wonderful fur coat. Whatever
can . do with 'em all?"-Answers.
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
ANOTHER FROM CHICAGO WARD

The Twenty-first ward OF Chicago,
which has already furnished eight
members Of President Taft's officiaI
family, has been drawn upon for still
another Samuel Adams has been
appointed by Secretary Of the Interior
Fisher as his first assistant to fill
the vacancy caused by the resignation
of Assistant Secretary Frank Pierce
Of Utah, appointed by former secre-
tary Balllnger.
Mr. Adams was born at Syracuse.
N. Y. in 1871. He graduated from
Harvard In 1892 and later studied at
the Harvard Law school and the
Northwestern University Law school
Since 1898 he has practlced law in
Chicago. For the past few years he
has been a member of the Arm Of
Adams & Candee. During the traction
litigation in Chicago he was a special
counsel for the city, associated with
Walter L. Fisher, now secretary Of
the interior. Mr.. Adams resides at
4S East Elm street, and is the ninth
IN n nosition in tha Taft ndutniefra
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
Unsafe.

Warden-So you moved No 12S
What's the matter" He seemed TO be
very quiet and docile.
Assistant-I was afraid he'd tear
the jail down. You see. learned that
he was graduated In the same college
class as No, 12s and that they were
planning reunion for tonight-Puck.
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
CAPTAIN RESTORED TO DUTY

The court OF seven rear admirals
which tried Captain Austin NJ. Knight.
u. S. N, on charges of "culpable negf'
genee and inefficiency in the perform
ance Of duty" relative to the ordnance
test on the monitor Puritan, has re-
affirmed It's original verdict Of COM
plete and honorable acquittal. but
Secretary OF the Navy Meyer has dis.
approved the findings. The officer has
been restored to duty, however, and
the action relieves him Of arrest and
formally terminates his trial.
The conclusion Of the case, with the
secretarys dlsapproval of the verdict,
created mild sensation among off,
GERS of the navy.
The notable court, headed by Rear
Admiral Robley d. Evans, which tried
the accused officer, held its session at
the Norfolk navy yard.
After an exhaustive examination of
the record by the legal and execu.
tive officials OF the navy department
the secretary announced that the de-
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
HueoIIc Joke.

Silas-Thar goes Hiram. Every
morning he feeds that prize COW Of his
Is carrots.
Cyrus-By heck. he thinks that old
COW is solid gold.
silas-Haw, hawl reckon you'd
call her is carrot gold.
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

Why He Kicked.

See here. you told me when l
bought that stock yesterday you had
pointer that It was going to rise
Here It IS, down four points"
Yes. ! sec But the stock you want
ed to buy Is down ten polnta What
are you kicking about?"
What am kicking about? I'm
kicking because you didn't have the
manhood to throw me out OF your
blamed old bucket shop"
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

Have you taken up the city beau
tiful idea out heref asked the
stranger.
Yep" replied the native, we're
goin' to pave Main street this spring.
and some Of the folks are tryin' to
have the waterin' trough In front Of
the courthouse decorated with
statute Of Physic"
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
a Hlt.

T made a great hit at the banquet
last night. Came off with good deal
Of distinction, In fact"
Il didn't know you ever spoke at
banquets."
Il don't l was the only one there
who absolutely declined"
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
on Her Way.

who Is that stunning woman at
the other end Of the car. whom saw
you chatting with Just nowT'
"A Mrs. Flubber. She's grist for the
Reno divorce MILL
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

His Father-so you've been playing
truant again. ehf I'm going to whip
you
Boy-Then lick me in de barn. pop
an cut out de woodshed dis time
OATS gotten to be such an old gag
now.
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

The automobile in the middle, NOV
Ing on IN business; shadows like you
and me skipping out Of It's way II
front: oil and used-up stuff dropping
out behind. There you have society
body, break and bones.
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
rha Rsasnn Why

Why men baseball call q sphere
To meaning is unfurled;
They call It sphere because In fact
A baseball is ''the whirled."
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
ThaIr clasa.

These bright newspaper boys are
the flower Of the jurnalistic times.
every man Jack Of them"
II suppose then. you would classify
them as John Quillsi"
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
Domestic Science.

steIla-Hcw do you balance your
meals?
Bella-Easyl What l leave warm
over for Jack; and what he leaves I
warm over for myseIf.-Judge.
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
Pront.

well. made $3.50 today"
"Fine. How did you do it?"
by declining to buy 1000 shares
Of mining stock which a promoter
insisted " lid be advanced from rs
cents to 40 cents share at tep
o'clock next Thursday"
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

Enmeshed we're men born, on.
meshed they die, lighting according 70
their strength to the end to aght f.
the hope Of freedom, their 10y 70 de
not knowing they are beaten. theiE
reward
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

Where does nature publish her CO
reals ?"
7 suppose IN corn magazines.
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
BIfurcatIon Preferred.

$50 the chorus came out in hobbies
instead Of harem skirts?g
yes"
what did the crowd doqr
IT called for 4 division rlehs away,
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

became satisfied that
hcaions cited against the
The to the court for
consideration The the
of the consequently the
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

Baliff-what did they do with thu
deaf prisoner7
Attorney Gave him hearing.
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

that and Superintendent Hotchks believed the
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

Tramp-rm sick, lady; very sick,
I've got the dumb ague.
Lady = Can't be that. or you
wouldn't be able to talk about It
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09
A Stupid cuss.

He kissed her on the chin
Oh, foolish wight
He kissed her there again
She yelled. GOOD NIGHTr"
The Southern herald., 1911-06-09

Twentyars appointed position the Taft dmnstre
tion :
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-08
FRESH AIR THEME
OF PARK BOOSTERS
Convention In Kansas City
Has For Purpose Great
ing of Parks.

Kansas City, Mo-, Aug s-with
more than a hundred delegates present
from all parts of the nation, the 18th
annual convention of American asso-
citation of park superintendent open
ed here today. Parks are to cities
what lungs are to men, was the sub
Ject of an address at this mornings
session by Henry d. Ashley, park COM
missioner of this city. Fresh air and
greenery for the poor in cities, to
whom such things are luxuries,
was the speakers theme
Some wag has said that the only
thing the American indian still owns is
indian summer" said Mr.. Ashley, but
are we American pale faces much bet
ter off? How long will 1t be before
we city jewellers will have to buy our
fresh air?'' Mr.. Ashley spoke of the
necessity of planning early the beau
tification of cities and pointed to
Washington as an example Of excel
lence in city planning.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-08
DOUGLAS SENTIMENT
SOMEWHAT DIVIDED

Douglas, Ariz- Aug. S--A number of
Douglas business men are sending tele-
grams to Washington asking the adop-
ton of the Nelson amendment, because
IN their belief ii is the only hope for
statehood.
A public meeting was held yesterday
here, called by acting mayor Frank
Ramsey, to discuss the situation.
Friends of the Nelson amendment were
clamored down and a resolution was
sent chairman Smith of the senate
committee on statehood. urging the
adoption of the Flood resolution.
Attorney Parsons said in a speech:
Taft will not dare to veto the state
hood bill. We will not crawl on our
bellies like snakes. but demand our
rights as men,"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-08
SENATOR w. P. FRYE
DIES IN WASHINGTON
Was For Many Years One
of Republican Leaders
In the Senate.

Washington, D. c., Aug. S.-Senator
william Pierce Frye, Republican sena-
tor Of Maine, died here today. He
had long been in III health
Senator Frye was born IN Lewiston.
Maine, September 2, 1881; graduated
at Bowdoin college. Maine. 1850; stud
led and practiced law; was a member
of the state legislature in 1851, 1852
and 1867; was mayor Of the city Of
Lewiston in 1866 and 1857; was attor-
ney general of the state Of Maine in
1867, 1868. and 1859; was elected a
member of the national Republican
executive committee in 1872 and re-
elected in 1876 and 1880: was elected
a. trustee Of Bowdoin college in June,
$780, received the degree of IL d.
from Bates college in July 1881, and
the same degree from Bowdoin college
in 1889; was presidential elector in
1864; was a delegate to the national
Republican conventions in 1872 1876
and 1880; was elected chairman of the
Republican state committee OF Maine
in place OF Hon. James @. Blame re-
signed. in November, 1881; was elected
a representative in the 42d. 43d, 44th.
45th, 10th and 47th congresses; was
elected March Is, 1881, to the United
States senate 20 fill the vacancy oc-
casioned by the resignation OF James
G. Blaine. appointed secretary of state.
and took his seat March Is, 1881; was
reelected in 1883, in 1883, in 1895,
in 1901, and again in 1907; was elected
president pro tempore Of the senate
February 7, 1895. and reelected March
Z, 1901. and December 5. 1907; was a
member of the commission which met
in Paris September. 1898. to adjust
terms of peace between the United
States and Spain.
His term Of service would have ex-
pired March 8, 1913
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-08
PERKINS REFUSES
TO GIVE ANSWERS
Steel Trust Magnate May
Be Held in Contempt.
His High Finance.

Washington, D. c., Aug. Staggered
by the continued refusal of George w.
Perkins to testify regarding campaign
contributions. either personally or
through his affiliation with the New
York Life Insurance company chair
man Stanley, of the house steel trust
investigating committee, late today in
timated to Mr.. Perkins that he hao
better appear before the bar of the
house at it's next session if he would
avoid the necessity of the chairman
resorting to radical authority"
Mr. Stanley said it would then be
up to the house TO determine whether
the committee had exceeded its pSwers
in going into campaign contributions
or whether the witness was in absolute
contempt Of congress.
Perkins, who is former chairman OF
the finance committee of the United
States Steel corporation, was on the
stand today when chairman Stanley
produced copy of the minutes of thu
steel corporations executive committee
showing that in March, 1902, Mr.. Per-
kins proposed a plan to raise $4,000
without costing the corporation a
cent.
This financial achievement was to
have been attained by taking up about
40 percent OF the preferred stock or
about $500, 900, 600 costing $4,000, 600
a year in dividends at percent and
to issue instead s250.000,000 of second
mortgage 5 percent bonds. This would
have added $5O.o00,000 in new money
and would have resulted in saving to
the corporation $500, 900 a year.
There was nothing in the minutes
to indicate that the plan had been car
ried through, although 1T apparently
met with the approval of these present
at the meeting at the time.
Up to this time no formal summons
had been served on Mr.F Parkins, how
ever.
Mr.. Perkins denied that any part OF
his salary had by agreement been
turned into a fund for campaign con-
tributions. He declared he knew moth
ing of any fund to effect either state
or national legislation
Representative Beall announced that
If the committee had the power to do
so, he would inquire into the cam
paign contribution of every director
of the steel corporation.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-08
WHEAT BUYERS ARE
LACKING IN
ENTHUSIASM
Heavy Selling of May OPP
tons Weakens Corn Flu
tures-Oats Slow.

Chicago, Ill, Aug. 8.-Not nearly SO
much buying enthusiasm showed itself
In the wheat market today as had been
expected Instead a good deal of COM
mission selling developed and there
was decided tendency for prices to
sag. Opening figures were &c lower
to q to 1kc up. September started at
93Z to 93h. varying from H loss to
NC gain and sank to 923s,
The close, however. was easy, with
September Is lower, at 921z.
Heavy speculative selling of the May
option weakened all the futures Of corn.
September opened &c lower to sc up
at 64% to 64%, and declined to "a
The close was firm with September
n to Il higher at 64A to IS.
Oats eased off with other cereals;
Trade was slow. September started
&c off at AZ. touched 4Sk and fell
back to 417s.
In provisions the advance of hog
prices was more than offset by a sell
ing drive led by prominent trader
supposed to represent foreign inter
ests.. First transactions were 2h to
sc lower to 15c up, with January de-
livery $3.50 for pork; So S2h to $3.50
for lard and $3.50 for ribs
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-08
TOGO VISITS NAVAL
YARD AT WASHINGTON
Goes Next to Baltimore and
Then to Philadelphia
Ship Yards.

Washington, D. c., Aug. S.-Admira1
Togo visited the Washington navy
yard today, inspected the machine
shops and ordance departments and
watched a company Of marines at drill.
Later he was scheduled to see the con-
gressional library and the capitol and
it was expected that he would look in
on both houses Of congress while in
session.
The program for the day included q
luncheon by assistant secretary Of
state Huntington, with sight seeing
tour In the afternoon. Tonight the
last of the four state dinners given in
his honor will be rendered by acting
secretary of the navy Beekman Win
throp. Tomorrow he will continue his
journey, going first TO Baltimore,
thence to Philadelphia. where he will
visit the ship yards.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-08
ONE DEAD AND TWO ARRESTED
IN An EFFORT TO HIDE CRIME

New York, n. Y, AugZ S.-As a re-
suit of the alleged attempt to destroy
the records of the Long Dock Mills
and Elevator company, in Jersey City,
for the purpose of canceling a short
age of $4,000 in the accounts of Samuel
Brown, the cashier, Brown and Patrick
j. Timmons, an expert accountant, are
in Jail there under charges of arson,
conspiracy and manslaughter.
The police hold a confession. bearing
Browns signature, telling of his plans
for the crime and naming Timmons as
an accomplice, Frank Walsh, known as
Lightning" the burglar, who was
hired to do the job, died of burns re-
ceived in trying to carry out the
scheme.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-08
TENDENCY
DEVELOPS IN
STOCKS
Hartman and Hill Shares
Fall Under Mondays
Final Quotations.

New York, N Y, Aug. S.-The stock
list again developed a saggfng tend
ency towards noon, prices falling all
around on relatively small offerings.
The Hartman and Hill shares, Read
ing and other speculative issues fell
under the preceding days final quota
tons The decline doubtless was as
sisted by a renewal of selling for the
short accounts, which seemed to gain
er courage from this rise.
There were reports of private settle
ments between certain large Dull oper-
ators and bankers resulting from the
markets recent reaction.
Bonds were steady.
The selling increased during the
midday and further recessfons were
scored. Weakness was most marked In
some of the standard railroads, IN
Guiding Wisconsin Central, which de-
clined 43s: Toledo, ST. Louis and West
ern preferred, Colorado Southern, Mis-
souri, Pacific in this same group.
The market seemed to fall of its own
weight BY material assistance as prices
declined. New low records for the
movement were general and the sell
ing was evidently of an urgent char
acter.
AmaIgamated Copper fell with the
rest of the list, despite the favorable
July statement of output. Losses at
o'clock ran from 5 Il in Canadian
Pacific to two or three points else
where in the active list. Fractional
rallies followed, but the absence of
anything denoting substantial support
was evident.
The market closed heavy. The list
declined again in the final hour, but
did not reach the previous low level.
This was followed by short covering
and some buying with rallies of l to
IL in Union Pacific, Northern Pacific,
Great Northern preferred. Reading,
United States Steel. Amalgamated
Copper and other active issues while
Canadian Pacific recovered IN.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-08
LAD LOSES LEG IN FALL
FROM A CATTLE TRAIN

Cheyenne, wyo.. Aug s.-Lawrenca
Swanson. 81 years old. of Yakima.
Wash, was killed on the Union Pa
cific near Green River. Wyo., while en-
route east with shipment Of sheep.
He fell under the train and had his
right leg cut off, dying shortly after
the accident.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-08
LEISHMAN GOES TO
THE GERMAN COURT
Diplomatic Corps Is Finally
Reorganized and Three
Changes Made.

Washington, D. c.. Aug. S.-The long
expected reorganization of the Ameri-
can diplomatic corps involved in ap-
pointing successors to DR.. David Jayne
Hill as ambassador to Germany and to
Chas. S. Sheriff. as minister to Argen-
tine, both of whom resigned, was an
nounced today when the nominations
of these ambassadors and five minis
ters were sent to the senate.
John G. A. Leishman of Pittsburg,
Pa, now ambassador to Italy, is trans
ferred as ambassador to Germany.
Thomas J. O'Brien of Grand Rapids,
Mich, at present ambassador to Japan
is transferred as ambassador to Italy.
Charles Page Bryan Of Chicago, Hl..
now minister to Belgium, is promised
20 be ambassador to Japan.