The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1911-09-05

halls that never resounded to the
ripping laughter of innocent child
hood. told them that in my young
er days, about a year after | was
married and had become proud
father, had been invited to BAN
quet and had been given the proper
subject, and how, under the enthus-
iasm of the occasion, | had become
poetical and had said;
''Of all the joys that life can give,
The baby is the best.
I've learned to laugh and cry and sing,
And miss at night my rest
And when at night from heavenly dreams
I'm brought to earth SPELL
1t all because think it seems
I've heard that baby YELL
10 music of inferior brand
All clothed in robes of white
with baby IN supreme command
1march the floor at night
But when those little eyelids close
In slumber, peaceful sweet
kneei beside my slumbering rose
| AND KISS her on the cheek:
And kneeling there in accents mild
send up thanks to God
ana ask Him to protect my child
! When I'm beneath the sod
| Then fill the flowing goblet well
| And drink with ioy serene
10 her whose charms l love to tell
MY pride, my love- my queen
Mr.. Speaker, afterwards, the next
day, the newspapers, having gotte,
hold of the story in some way, puF
lished the substance of my speec.
and IN few days letters began to
come to me from society women,
poodle-dog owners, not only in the
city of Washington but from all the
United States, condemning my
speech in finding fault with the love
that they had shown for the poodle
dog. The society for the protection
of the poodle dog condemned me in
the severest terms. | was told that
the cultured owners Of the sacred
poodle dog would not stand for any
criticism from the plain representa-
tive OF the common people. From
these letters learned THAT such
common mortal as | could not be ex-
pected to appreciate the affection so
worthily bestowed by society wo-
men upon the sacred pet.
Children might be all right for
common people, but they were too
inconvenient for women of wealth
and high social standing. These at
tacks were so severe that | hesitated
to go alone down Connecticut avenue
after shutdown for fear of being at
tackled by these wronged poodle
dogs and their Infatuated owners
and perhaps wounded, lacerated and
torn to such extent that | would not
make a respectable congressional
funeral. One of the papers in the
city of Washington sent a reporter !
who interviewed some of the lead
ing society ladies of the city of Wash
ington, and with one voice they un
animously condemned ne.
Mr.. Speaker. it became a ques
ton with me whether | was going tt
be able to live in Washington after
what | had said about these beloved
poodle dogs. | remembered, how .
ever, that one thing is always true
of dog, and that is that it never
gets in front of an automobile. II
always banks at an automobile wheE
it goes by, possibly upon the theory
and the belief that the automobile is
trying to get away and is afraid.
| remembered also, Mr.. Speaker,
that the Congress had provided an
automobile for the preceding Speak
err, and [ remembered that the pres
ent Speaker had said that he would
not use it after he was elected. So
| it occurred to me that possibly the
retiring Speaker might take COM
passion upon me. as he was about
going out of Office, and teach me to
run that old automobile, so that
when it was sold at public auction,
as it would have to be, being gov
eminent proper, if it did not sell
for much, l might be able to get the
money together to buy it, and then,
after having learned how to run it,
could take that automobile and go
down the streets of Washington at
the rate of go miles an hour. bidding
defiance to all the poodle dogs in
creation. applause and laughter).
So, Mr.. Speaker, | want to take this
opportunity to go on record as doir e
something in favor of the poodle
dog. that | may possibly avert the
catastrophe which | fear is about to
N f0H L. II