Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-01-24
atlistrllanruus Grading,
RUSSlA'S JESTER.
Balakireff Is the Joe Miller of the
Muscovites.

Muscovites.
Every nation has it's typical jester
around whom crystalline all the float
ing stories of a people. Thus Eng
land has it's Joe Miller, Germany Its
Till Eulenspiegel. Italy its Punchinel!o,
he orient it's Nasreddin el khoja and
Russia its Palakireff. Like Joe Mil
ler, the last was real character
though not all the jokes credited to
him we're his own. Some were inven-
tions of a later age; others were bor-
rowed from the past. He shares the
credit for many of the latter with Joe
Miller and Eulenspiegel.
His ory records that Ralakireff was
the favorite jester of Peter the Great.
Tradition represents him as the con-
stant company of that car, frequent
ly exercising his wit at royal expense.
One day, for example, a cousin Of his
had fallen under the czar's displeas-
ure and was sentenced to death. Bala-
kireff undertook to obtain a reprieve'
The car guessed his errand even be-
fore he opened his mouth.
No" he cried. "Tis no use your
coming here. swear that l will not
grant What you are going to ask!'
Balakireff dropped at once to his
knees. Peter Alexeivitch," he cried,
Il pray you, put to death that scamp
of a cousin of mine!"
Peter, thus caught in his own trap,
had no choice but to laugh and send
pardon to the culprit.
On another occasion Balakireff ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
his masters domestic guards. Peter
consented for the sake OF the JOKE
but warned his jester that death was
the penalty if any officer OF the
guards absented himself from his post
or misled his word. Then to test
the volunteer he sent him up a hagon
of wine to "moisten his commission.
Palakireff, as was expected, drank to
the intoxicating point. While he was
sleeping off his debauch the cZar hlm-
self crept into the room and carried
off his sword from the scabbard.
Palakireff, though badly scared, on
awaking made shift to replace the
missing weapon with own wooden
imitation of the guardsmens SWORD.
He was called to parade next morn
ing, when Peter feigned hot indlgna-
ton at the untidiness of one or the
guards.
Captain Balakireff," he cried at
last. draw your sword and cut OH
the head of that sloven!'
Ralakireff cast his eyes up TO heaV-
nj q,
grant that my sword may turn into
wood before l use it on one of my own
fellow soldiers!"
And. 10, when he unsheated 1t the
blade stood revealed as a wooden one.
Peter laughed heartily at the knaVes
presence of mind and restored him TO
favor
A more serious offense resulted in
the banishment of the jester. Never
dare to appear again on Russian SOIL!
stormed the emperor. Judge then or
Peters surprise when, a week later,
he beheld his old favorite coolly driv-
ing in a car, past the palace
How dare you disobey me-!
shouted the enraged monarch. DID
l rot forbid you ever to show your
self on Russian soil?"
Nay" replied Ralakireff, I have
sian soil" no.,
How say you-not Russian soil!
"Truly not. This CARLOAD Of earth
on which l am sitting is Swedish soil.
dug it up in Finland only the other
day"
gain the car laughed uproariously
and readmitted his buffoon to favor
ONE his. .orians add that when ne
heard the excuse he said, If Finland
be swedish soil now it shall be Rus
sian before long," threat he was not
slow to fulfill.
This story, however. was an old one
long before the time OF Ealakiref. II
-orms the twenty-Seventh adventure
Of Till Eulenspiegel, who is reputed
to have died in 1850. Having Offend
ed the Duke of Lunenberg, Till was
forbidden the land" He purchased
a shilling's worth of ear.h to fill his
cart with, and, being duly challenged
" the duke, he answered:
My gracious lord, / am not in your
land, but in mine own. wherein l do
sit. I bought it Of a boor for shil-
ling. And rightfully could he sell 1T.
for from his forefathers he inherited
it. SO is this truly my land"
At the close Of one of Car Peters
,ampaigns Ealakireff overheard some
RUSSIAN Officers uOdSlluS VI cApIOlNS
they had performed.
Nay" he cried. Il can tell better
story than any of you" And, being
pressed for the story, he continued:
Never have l liked this modern
way of fighting all in body together.
surely it would be more manly for
each to stand by himself. Therefore
went I out alone in search of adven-
lures. One day while accommodating
near the enemy's outposts 1 espied a
swedish soldier lying on the ground.
Pefore he could rise and give the
alarm 1 rushed upon him and with
one blow from my sword cut off his
right foot"
You fool" cried one of the audi
tors why did you not cut off his
head?"
$50 would l have DONE" retorted
Palakireff, except that somebody else
had already done it. t."-Washington
Star.