The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-27

~ q were three in number
H51 d with a door opening from
- z one to another. These
doors could also be closed.
Ships" Lawyer Gooch would say
"are constructed for safety, with sep
arate, water-tight compartments IN
their bottoms If one compartment
springs a leak it fills with water; but
the good ship goes on unhurt were
1t not for the separating bulkheads
one leak would sink the vessel. NO"
it often happens that while | am oc-
cupied with clients other clients with
conflicting interests call. With the as
sistance of Archibald-an office boy
with future-I cause the dangerous
influx to be diverted into separate
compartments, while l sound with my
legal plummet the depth of each. III
necessary, they may be baled out into
the hallway and permitted to escape
by way of the stairs, which we may
term the lee scuppers. Thus the good
ship of business is kept afloat; where
as If the element that supports her
were allowed to mingle freely In her
hold we might be swamped-ha, ha,
hal"
The law is dry Good jokes are few
Surely it might be permitted Lawyer
Gooch to mitigate the bore OF briefs,
the tedium Of torts and the proslness
of processes with even so light levy
upon the good property of humor!
Lawyer Gooch's practise leaned
largely to the settlement of marital
infelicities. Did matrimony langu1sh
through complications, he med1ated,
soothed and arbitrated. Did it suffer
from implications, he readjusted, de-
Tended and championed Did it ar
rive at the extremity Of applications
he always got light sentences for his
clients.
But not always was Lawyer Gooch
the keen, armed, willy, belligerent,
ready with his two-edged sword to lop
off the shackles of Hymen. He had
been known to build up instead OF de-
molishing, to reunite instead OF sever
ing, to lead erring and foolish ones
back into the fold instead of scatter
ing the flock. Often had he by his
eloquent and moving appeals sent hus-
band and wife, weeping, back into
each others arms. frequently he had
coached childhood so successfully that,
at the psychological moment (and at
a given signaD the plaintive pipe of
Papa, won't you tum home adam TO
me and muvver? had won the day
and upheld the pillars of a tottering
home.
Unprejudiced persons admitted that
Lawyer Gooch received as big fees
from these re-yoked clients as would
have been paid him had the cases
been contested in court. Prejudiced
ones intimated that his fees were
doubled, because the penitent couples
always came back later for the di-
vorce, anyhow.
There came a season in June when
the legal ship of Lawyer Gooch Ito
borrow his own figure) was nearly be-
Gained. The divorce mill grinds slow
" in June It is the month of Cupid
and Hymen
Lawyer Gooch, then, sat idle in the
middle room of his clientless suite A
small anteroom connected-or rather
separated apartment from the
hallway Here was stationed Archi-
bald, who wrested from visitors their
cards or oral Nomenclature which he
bore to his master while they waited.
Suddenly, on this day, there came a
great knocking at the outermost door.
Archibald, opening it, was thrust
aside as superfuous by the visitor,
who, without due reverence, at once
penetrated to the Office of lawyer
Gooch and threw himself with good-na-
tured insolence into comfortable
chair facing that gentleman.
you are Phineas C. Gooch, attor-
ney-at-law?" said the visitor, his tone
of voice and infection making his
words at once a question, an assertion
and an accusation.
Before committing himself by re-
ply, the lawyer estimated his possible
client in one of his brief but shrewd
and calculating glances.
The man was of the emphatic type
-large-sized, active, bold and debon-
slightly staggering, ready and at ease
He was well clothed, but with a shade
too much ornateness. He was seeking
a lawyer; but If the fact would seem
to saddle him with troubles they were
not patent in his beaming eye and
courageous air.
My name is Gooch," at length the
lawyer admitted. Upon pressure he
would also have confessed to the
Phineas C. But he did not consider it
good practise to volunteer information.
Il did not receive your card" he con-
tinued, by way of rebuke, so /"
81 know you didn't" remarked the
visitor, coolly; "and you won't just
yet. Light up?" He threw a leg over
an arm chair, and tossed a handful
of rich-hued cigars upon the table.
Lawyer Gooch knew the brand. He
thawed just enough to accept the invi-
tation to smoke.
You are a divorce lawyer" said
the CARELESS visitor This time there
was no Interrogation in his voice. Nor
did his words constitute a simple as
sertion. They formed a charge-a de-
nunciation-as one would say toNa dog:
You are a dog" Lawyer Gooch was
silent under the imputation.
you handle" continued the visitor,
"all the various ramifcations of bust
ed-up connubiality. You are surgeon,
we might say, who extracts Cupid's
darts when he shoots 'em into the
wrong parties. You furnish patent, in
candescent lights for premises where
the torch of Hymen has burned so low
you can't light a cigar at it. Am |
right, Mr.. Gooch?"
Il have undertaken cases." said the
lawyer, guardedly, 'in the line to
which your figurative speech seems to