davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
oId.Iime Office Boy cone.


Exit the Office boy. enter the dis
dainful monarch. watchful OF the en-
trance to the sacred sanctum.
The race of cigarette-smoking urchin
Office boy has become extinct, say bust
ness men. The new office boy is a Sc
date little man who smokes two-for-
quarter Havanas and who has su.
preme scorn of cuspidors and brooms.
Office boys of today receive the
princely salary of $3.50 year. hence
the change. say employers. The civil
service commission has placed their
salaries at that figure.
"Ofice boys at SO week become
czars," said R. A. Widdowson, secre-
tary of the civil service commission.
1.-THE old-time three dollar week boy
could be handled. but employers can.
not cope with the SO ones Of today.
who demand reserved seats with cush-
ions at a prominent point In the Of
fee"
Clerks range In salaries from $500 to
$4,000, according to the new grading
of positions made by the commission.
The $3.50 positions are filed by orig
inal entry examinations. Promotional
examinations govern all other jobs. Six
and half years would be required to
rise from the first position to the
highest.-Chicago Record-Herald. .
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Evsrythlna rae sss use.

The neWly-made lord stood In hid
newly-made grounds. with newly.
made smile Of proprietorship upon hid
face He was monarch Of all he sur
veyed
Beyond the gilded gates that divided
his estate from the road he espied q
couple Of old country women. They
were gazing through the bars with ad
miration depicted in every furrowed
line Of their features.
Some Of my practitioners, by Jove!'
drawled the lordly one. turning to his
companion. THE admiration OF the
poor's very amusin'.N wonder what
they're saying"
AS they drew within earshot they
heard the elder woman exclaim:
lust what was thinking myself
Jane-what a lovely spot that would
make to dry the washing on!"-An
swers.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

I can't find words to express my thanks
for the good your medicine has done
me. You maypublish this if you wish. "
Mrs. HERMAN SETH, Pound, Wis.
The success of Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made from roots
and herbs, is unparalleled. It may be
used with perfect confidence by women
who suffer from displacements, infam-
nation. liberation, fibroid tumors, ir-
regularities, periodic pains, backache,
bearing down feeling, flatulency, indi-
gestion, dizziness, or nervous prostra-
ton.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has been the
standard remedy for female ills, and
suffering women owe it to themselves
to at least give this medicine a trial:
Proof is abundant that it has cured
thousands of others, and why should
it not cure you?
If you want special advice write
Mrs. Pinkham, Lynn, Mass, for it,
It is free and always helpful.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
To Name ! Road for Poe.

A. ! hitting memorial to Edgar Al
Ian Poe It has been suggested that
whenathe driveway along Jones's Fails
is completed . mausoleum BE- erected
an Il to serve as the last resting place
81 the poet and the road be named
after him. The absence Of memo
rial to- poe has been discussed time
and again and several attempts were
made to raise q fund to make the
project reality.
With the driveway as SITE. = =
pointed out the interest OF the PUBIC
could be aroused and the memorial
erected. II is not thought there would
be any objections offered TO the city
eiving one Of the best locations on the
boulevard as the place to erect =
s . usaleum.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Fat Man From Cincinnati.

Bum Helm, one of the latest men
Cincinnati ever produced, was at the
ball game one afternoon when all the
seats in the grandstand were taken.
he took his stand back of the last
row, presenting to those who walked
along the passageway behind him a
vast expanse of black coat and trous.
ers.
After little while Bum was an
noyed by feeling somebody butt into
him. Looking around, he saw that he
mad been hit by boy who was car.
fying a tray full of ginger ale bottles
and peanuts.
Scuse me, sir" said the boy to
tne lrate giant. Il thought you wuz
oe entrance. "-Twice-a-Month Popular
Magazine.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
CRUELTY TO CHILDREN
FANTASTIC NAMES FOR eAalEs
ARE NOT UNCOMMON.
Robert News Sons Were Nothing and
something - Governor Hoaa's
daughter ls lma-MiIlions
Range From One to Ten.


Naming the baby is In most fam
ines, quite properly, serious affair.
IN which every member is interested
NO name can be too beautiful too
poetic, too melodious, for that small.
pink-faced person to bear through
NE; no name can be associated with
TOO illustrious parsonage Of history.
LOO fascinating. character in ro-
nance. From the great G. w. and
hlng Arthur downward, baby is good
enough to be anybody's namesake.
SUCH Is the usual attitude of par
snts, with which the world sympathizes
while 1t smiles. Nevertheless. it il
surprising to what names, and con-
functions OF names, reckless or cruelty
1ocular parents will condemn their
children. English records of recent
years reveal that Robert New named
MS two sons Nothing and Something.
Mr.. Mixer, Mr.. Peel and Mr.. Codd
named their respective babies Pep
per, Lemon and Salt; while Mr..
Wares little girl became China and
49,. 00ALAC Always.
An appeal for legal change of name
allowed the general public to learn
that the brothers Pigg bore the Chris
tlan names Black, Brown. Gay and
Quincy! Their request, it is need
less to say, was promptly granted
The unfortunate twins Sudden Death
and jolly Death showed a yet further
abuse OF parental privilege in their
cognomens; but they did not change
them.
Practical joking at the expense Of
helpless infants is certainly unpardon-
able. It Is said to be less rare in this
country than across the water, al
though James s. Hogg. governor Of
Texas, named his daughter lima. Every
one in society In Texas knows lima
Hogg.
An extraordinary instance of the be-
stowal Of striking names upon q whole
family Of ten children was reported
recently. Mr.. and Mrs. Million Of
Oregon could never, 1t seems, quite
agree upon names entirely satisfac-
tory to both, SO as matter of con-
venience they had resorted to num-
bers.
The Official of a financial concern
says that when the names of sub
scribers to the bond issue proposed
by that concern were sent In one was
that of Ten Million. It was naturally
supposed to be an assumed name, and
letter was sent to the address given,
rather sharply stating that bonds
could be registered in real names only,
and that no further attention would
be paid to his subscription unless he
gave his real name
An explanatory note was soon re-
ceived from Mr. Million. written upon
paper bearing the printed letterhead
of firm of Million & Million. reiterat-
ing his own name, and adding those
of his brothers and sisters. One, Two,
Three, Four, Five, Six. Seven (his
partner, and the rest. AS the Mil
lion children-that is, as the ten MIL
lion-at least, as the ten children by
the name of Million grew up-most Of
them, he admitted, had modified their
numeral prefixes: the Misses One and
Three Million, for example, becoming
Una and Trio, while Ten himself was
commonly known as TENTS. Legally.
however, his name still remained un-
changed; and in the eyes of the law
he was Ten Million.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Good Work Of Wireless.

Throughout the world there is q
shipwreck about every sixteen hours.
and the general adoption Of the wire
less system Of communication prom
ises to cut this rate down very ma
terially. It is estimated that the sys-
tenn has already been the means Of
saving marine property valued at 49,.
000. 900, and Of saving nearly six thou.
sand uves.-Philadelphia Record.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
AVOID LIQUID BLUlNG.

The reason so many housewives pre-
fer RED CROSS BALL BLUE is be-
cause it is all blue. Liquid blue con
tains large percentage of water
Why buy water when you have it by
the tub full?
Buying solid RED CROSS BALL
BLUE is real economy. Dissolve it as
you need it. A large four-oz. package
all blue, for 10c. Used in thousands
of homes. FOR SALE AT ALL GRO
GERS.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Sort Of Job He Wanted /.

There's what I'm looking for =
said the lazy man going through the
want advertisements for an easy job,
as his eye lighted on call for can
vassers to sell something that would
sell ITSELF" That's the sort of job
l want" he said to himself. Some
thing that I can earn money at with
out work" And he thought that real
ly some day he must go down and
look 'em up.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Recovered Her sIoht.

After being totally blind for twelve
years. woman eighty-seven years
oid-Mrs. Boyland. of Taunton, Eng
land, has received back her sight.
During these years she had prayed
that she should regain her sight, and
about a month ago she could see o
gilmmer OF light. Gradually the blind.
ness has disappeared and she can
now see what time 1t is by the church
clock 100 yards away. She saw q mo-
tor car for the first time a few days
ago.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Work Of Chinese Barber.

The Chinese have no use for safety
razors. AS they have their heads
shaved, which must be done by anoth
er- person, they intrust to him also the
removal of the scant hair on the face.
Der slaves head In the prevailing
fashion, combs, plaits and CLOSES the
queue, removes wax from the ears
and administers a light massage to
neck and shoulders.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
The Use. Of Tears.

Out Of the hands Of pain and suffer.
Ing more gifts have come to men than
from any other source. The great
singers Of the mystery and pathos Of
human loss Dante Alighieri in his
Vision" and Milton In "Lycidas.
Matthew Arnold In e"Thyhsis." and
Tennyson IN "In Memoriam" all show
that for the highest vision there IL no
medium like that Of tears.-J. NJ.
Blake.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Where the Blind Ride Free.

Blind people are now permitted to
ride free on the street cars Of Glas-
cow, Scotland. The local town coun-
ell has distributed a supply Of brass
tokens among the various institutions
for aiding the blind. and an ordinary
car ticket Is given in exchange when
token is presented by blind person
desiring free ride.-Popular Me
chanics.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Cruel and Unusual.

Saw of the handle Of an old
BROOM" says the Farm Journal, "and
use it to brush your horse with after
you have been over him with a comb
and brush of the regular kind" Any
body who would use the handle OF q
broom to brush a horse with ought
to be turned over for treatment by the
s. F. T. p. o. G. T. A.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

Moving-PIcture Shows In Spain.
In Barcelona the moving-picture
shows are 30 popular that on Sundays
thousands Of people can be seen out
side Of them waiting for their turn to
secure admission.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

pepS1a anu IouIdl0
troubles by your
m e dicine. l had
been troubled with
both for fourtees
years and consulted
different doctor S,
but failed to get any
relief. After using
Lydia E. Pinkham's
v e ge ia bic Com
pound and Blooc
Purifier / can say |
ON q xxo11 Woman
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Beyond caviI.

A man dropped his wig in the
street and a boy who was following
close behind picked it up and handed
it to him. Thanks, my boy" said the
man. You're the first genuine hair
restorer have ever seen."-Minne-
apolis Journal
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

..What's the object Of getting al
those troops away from this vicinity 9
= suppose 2 replied the irresponsible
tbaorist. that they want the troops
where they VIII not disturb the peace
confarence that has been called
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

"Reminiscences.

"Reminiscences.
The boy bethought himself OF q
great many remarkable things which
were not taking place all about him.
And right shrewdly. For these"
quoth he, with wisdom beyond his
years, ARE what one need be pre-
pared fondly to recall In ones old
age."-Puck.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

Sore Throat is no trifling ailment
It may carry disease germs to any
part of the. body through the food
you eat. When you feel sore throat
coming on, use Hamlins Wizard Oil
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
II Cnr.. while Won

1t Cures While You Walk.
Aliens Foot-Ease Is q certain cure
for hot, sweating, callus. and swollen,
Price Csc Don't accept any substitute.
Trial package FREE. Address Allen
s. Olmsted. LIE Roy. N. Z.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
D,steuaper

In all its forms, among all ages Of horses
and dogs, cured and others in the same sta
BILE prevented from having the disease with
Spohn's Distemper Cure. Every bottl,
guaranteed. Over SOC, 900 bottles sold last
year. $50 and $1.00. Good druggists, or
send to manufacturers. Agents wanted.
Write for free book. Spohn Med. Co., Spec.
Contagious Diseases, Goshen. Ind.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
TRY MURINE EVE REMEDY

Thy MURINE EVE KENNEDY
for Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes
andGranulated Eyellds. Murine Doesn't
Smart-Soothes Eye Pain. Druggists
Sell Murine Eye Remedy, Liquid, Csc,
SOC, S100. Murine Eye Salve in
Aseptic Tubes, 25c, $500. Eye Books
and Eye Advice Free by Mail.
Murine Eye Remedy Co.. Chicago.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

Value Of Good Maxlms.
Good maxims are germs OF all good:
1rmly impressed on the memory, they
rourish the will. -Joubert,
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

Had to Draw the Line.
II hear that Gwennie broke on her
engagement with Mr.. Munly because
he tried to limit her enjoyment"
Yes. She was engaged to tive
other young men and he objected"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

Constipation causes and aggravates
many serious diseases. It is thor.
oughly cured by DR.. Pierce's Pleasant
Pellets. The favorite family laxative.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

FAILED TO
HELP HER
Cured by Lydia E. Pinkhan's
Vegetable Compound

Pound, Wis. -sI am glad to an
nounce that / have been cured of dys-
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

Mothers win find Mira. Winslow's Soothing Syrul
the best remedy to use for their children durfn1
the teething period.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Mans Actual NeeesslflAa

len cents a day Is the amount &C.
.aais required for food to sustain q
~ The remainder Of the money
spent for flayc-irg.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20
Cosaln.

Gossip.
Gossip is beast Of prey that does
not wait for the death Of the creature
1t devours.-G George Meredith.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20


His medicines worldfamous for their
The most perfect remed7
IT MAKES WEAK WOMEN STRONG
SICK WOMEN WELL.
ailments
forth in Plain English the People: Medical pases newly
receipt Of 81 above
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1911-10-20

Day Of Investigations.
If Alexander were around today he
would be signing for more worlds to
investigate.-StL Louis Post Dispatch.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1911-10-07
INCIDENT
ThatShows Gov. ftarmon's
Fitness FOR High
Office.

An interesting reminiscence OF the
recent convention of the Federation
of Catholic Societies in Columbus
saws the Catholic Columbian, was the
courteous welcome extended by GOV.
Harmon to the many prelates and
the hundreds of delegates represent
ing the Catholic element of the peo-
ple of America. The Governor, on
the opening day of the convention,
was the guest of honor at the dinner
given by Bishop Hartley to the pre-
lates, and interchanged ideas, anec-
dotes and pleasing recollections with
the balance of the distinguished
company in the dining room OF the
episcopal residence on that occasion.
The inspiring address delivered by
the Governor at the first Federation
mass meeting in Memorial Hall,
wherein he extolled the good the
Catholic church was doing for citi-
zenship in America and for all or
those things that make for justice
and equality between man and man,
will long be remembered. II is there
fore certain that the rights and hon
est interests of Catholics as well as
of all other elements of the com
munity in the State will have a fair
and able champion and conservator
in Gov. Harmon when the constitu-
ton of the State is being amended;
and another thing that seems to be
sure is that should Gov. Harmon
ever be elected to the Presidency OF
the United States, as now seems
probable, the Catholic citizens OF
Ohio and the country can feel as
sured that in him they will have a
President who would fully recognize
the strength and influence OF
Catholicity in America.
The foregoing Is most gratifying
to the Kentucky Irish American,
which was perhaps the first news
paper that nominated Gov. Harmon
for the next Democratic nomination,
which would mean election and sue
cess for that party.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1911-10-07

Bishop of Natchez, DR.. Gum, and a
classmate of Archbishop Blenk, OF
New Orleans. One of the parish
toner's of this church is Gen. Patrick
II. Barry, former Attorney General
Of the State OF Nebraska and lately
appointed a member of the Board OF
National Soldiers Homes, now on a
tour of inspection of the homes
from Maine to California. Gen.
Barry made a notable record in the
civil war, the loss of his right arm
and numerous scars giving testimony
to his services in that awful conflict.
He is a fine conversationalist and is
heart and soul in favor of any move
ment looking toward the moral and
material uplift of the community in
which he resides. There are two
other churches in Greeley Center, a
Methodist Episcopal and Lutheran.
Both of these are fine ediifces and
have good congregations. At 0'Con-
nor, about five miles from Greeley,
is another magnificent Catholic
church, of which Father Hayes is
pastor. Father DeVos, Secretary Of
the Catholic Colonization Society, is
q former pastor. This was the first
Catholic church in the county.
The educational facilities of
Greeley county are unsurpassed. At
Spalding are two Catholic colleges,
one for boys and one for girls; at
.O'Connor is an academy for girls and
young ladies; Greeley Center has
two fine public school buildings with
an efficient corps of teachers, while
Omaha, which is in easy reach, offers
the best advantages for those who
seek a higher education.
Greeley shows all the marks of a
prosperous town. Two garages testify
that the auto is in our midst; the
telephones are in nearly universal
use: the houses are commodious and
we'll built, generally with well-kept
lawn in front, and the girls are up
to-date and we'll dressed. The
beauties here, however, are Of that
doubtful style which takes every
thing you say to them with a strong
saline solution. In other words,
they are very hard-headed and
sensible and you have to conftne
yourself to the facts in your conver-
sation. The men here are all strong
and healthy looking, and any num-
ber of them look like they might
be developed into white mans hope
With very little training. The
climate is remarkably healthful, lung
trouble being practically unknown.
In conclusion I may say that this
Is an ideal spot for a man with farm
ing proclivities or one who likes 10
deIye into the mysteries Of cattle and
hog raising. There may be better
places in the United States, but they
40 not show up on the map as yet.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1911-10-07
WILL COST MUCH.

Right Rev. Bishop McSherry, OF
Port Elizabeth, South Africa, who at
tended the Eucharlstic Congress,
said that Italy viii gain nothing In
its war with Turkey. The Bishop is
thoroughly familiar with the war
zone, though his diocese is in the
extreme southeastern section OF
Africa. THE country being con-
tested for is nothing but desert,
he said, "as arid as the Sahara. Not
only win 1t be great expense for
Italy, but II will also cost thousands
of lives, since the Turk will carry on
a guerrilla warfare indefinitely.
Ultimately Italy viii win, no doubt,
but like France. It will have to carry
on the war for years, and In the end
II will not be worth while"
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1911-10-07
HOME RULE
Helped by Eighty Clubs
Tour Through
ireland.

T. p. O'Connor, in his weekly
cablegram, states that politics in
England have resumed almost full
activity, the political holidays being
virtually over. Events are still more
favorable for the Liberals. The
victory OF Gladstone's grandson in a
Scotch constituency over the fierce
and combined attack of the Tories
and Laborites by a great majority
creates an immense Liberal Joy. The
election was fought on two issues,
home rule and Lloyd-George's insur-
ance bill. and so emphatic was the
verdict in favor of both by the great
Scotch constituency that II increases
the hope that both will certainly
be passed into lew.
The home rule cause is further
helped by the immense success of the
tour through Ireland OF the Eighty
Club organization, composed OF the
most ardent and energetic spirits OF
the Liberal party. simultaneously
the Orange antics, including the plan
TO create a provisional government
In Ulster after home rule is carried
into a law, create shouts OF laughter
throughout England, and In Ireland
they already have ELECTED strong
protests from the more rational
Unionists. The home rule campaign
In Great Britain now Is fully or
ganized and will open its campaign
In the second week of October with
Redmond, Dillon. DeYlIn. O'Connor
and others attending private confer
ences and public demonstrations
from Lands End TO John O'Groats.