davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

CROOK CoNFESsES.
FIFTH INsTALLMENT.
BY DOCK CROOK, f. A. X. E.

FIFTH INSTALLMENT.
IN Copenhagen there is such hos
pitality. Royalty took me to its bosom
as though l were a long lost brother.
The news of my triumph had preceded
me, and thus the going was easy. In
fact it was such a cinch that at inter
walls | biushed like bride at the com
pliments that were hurled at ME from
all sides-fair women and brave men
joining in paying me the homage that
a napoleon could hardly have expected
After the cold beans we had been
subsisting on in the latter days of our
return trip how l relished the delica-
cies that were laid before me at the
banquet at which | was to be knighted
| ate so much that l was ashamed of
myself, although a siNfooter with a
bundle of hardware dangling from his
chest did his best TO keep me talking
all during the time allotted for the
feast. He tried to tell me what he had
received all the medals for, but | was
more interested in satisfying my long
neglected appetite and drinking in the
splendor of the scene enacted in my
personal honor. At times chills would
run down my back at the thought of
the folks at home seeing me-and
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
BLOW FOR A DOCTOR.

The telephone rang in the home of
a Rock Island physician last Sunday
evening. Was the doctor at home
He was, but the doctor. his wife, stat
ed, did not answer calls on Sunday.
Very well, and the inquiring person
rang of.
After a lapse of a quarter hour the
phone ungled again in the doctor :
home His wife answered.
rs the doctor at homer"
Yes
He has not gone to bed yet?''
No
Well this is the Peoples Power
company"
Yes
Would the doctor be kind enough
10 walk out and see If the light on th&
other side of the street from yout
home is burning"
The doctor was consulted. He would
fulfill the request
The connection was held The ply
stefan wandered out on TO the walk
il was q cold slippery highland he
found the light was burning all righ>
The doctor says the light is burn
Ing the same as usual the wife told
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
THREE GRAND
PRIZES OFFERED
Baking of Layer Cake Supreme
Test of Skill in Argus
Cooking Contest.
SCHOOL OPENS MONDAY
Coupons Exchanged for Season Tick
cts Free OF Charge-Much
Interest Shown.

Three grand prizes are offered for
the housewife of Rock Island who
can bake the best layer cake in the
baking contest given by The Argus
cooking school which will begin Mon
day in the auditorium of the Y. NJ.
c. A. Besides this a number of
other handsome prizes will be given
for winning samples of baking in the
several classes.
That this contest itself will be a
feature of the entire cooking school
goes without saying, as every wo-
man in Rock Island with an ability
to bake cake will do her utmost
to win one of the magnificent
prizes. Competent Judges will be ap-
pointed to pass upon the baking
abilities of the entrants IN the con-
test and all of the cakes will be sold
for the benefit of Bethany home.
CONTEST ARoUsEs INTEREST.
This contest will arouse general
interest among the housewives of the
city as it will not only give them
an opportunity to see a fine article of
baking, but il will also give them an
opportunity to exchange views in re-
gard to baking and there is no doubt
that when the cooking school has
closed, cooks of this city will have
bean greatly benefited and many a
man who dreaded the biscuit that
weren't like mother used to make"
will sit down to his meals with a
smile on his face when Heretofore
a frown existed.
Mrs. Helen Armstrong. who is to
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

the hope that the storm would soon
blow Over
l obeyed the injunction. I travelled
extensively, but was not all the while
out of America. At intervals 1 would
take a trip to see the folks at home.
always approached the house after
shed. One night an old Turk living
in the neighborhood accused me of
being a second-stOry window-worker,
and was on the point of believing him
when l realized the danger of being
discovered, and eloquently convinced
him that he was in error; that l was a
detective on the trail of Doc Crook,
and not TO disturb me any further
1t was a great piece OF work did that
night. After having a lunch with the
family 7 would HE me away again, and
depart through the woodshed.
| am magnanimous by nature. If
there is a north pole, it is big enough
for a couple Of US to claim a piece
of it. If 1 didn't make it, I'm from
down ST. Louie-way My claims are
just as good as the other fellows, al
though he may have the edge on me
insofar as having the United States
army behind him in proving up his re-
presentations. Army or no army,
have COPIED a flock of the kale dur
ing the discussion. and think | will be
able TO live happily ever after.
Moral: When you see you can't get
by, hurdle. You may get your feet
caught, but If you kick long enough
you'll get loose.
Anyway, 90 years from now they
won't care how I got it. And l have
1t tthe money!
(The End
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
CHORDS AND DISCORDS

whether they would believe that was
rightfully entitled to the honcrs heap
ed upon me- l began to doubt myself.
How the bunch cheered and the
bands played when the medal was
hung upon me. 1t was accompanied
by a floral wreath donated by crowd
of enthusiastic students. l tried to
make a speech, but my tears saved me
and those who were there expecting to
hear me. Fact is, the contract | had
entered into with the American pub
Usher prohibited my making anything
other than general public remarks.
Naturally | was hurt when I learned
that my story of the finding of the pole
was disputed by another. l really
thought l had gotten by with it. Had
l been double-crossed l could not see
from where 1 was sitting at the time,
as l had taken TO the long and uncut
10 avoid the pesky newspaper inter
viewers who were seeking TO further
get me in bad with the public. | now
firmly believe if l had closed my
mouth and remained silent until
reached New York | would have been
at least S150,000 to the good on lee
lures. as was daily flooded WITH
propositions from American
lyceum managers. However, | was
advised TO turn up my coat collar. let
my whiskers grow and lose myself in
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

conduct the cooking school will ar
rive in Rock Island Monday and will
be on hand bright and early the
day on which the school is to open
ready to instruct Rock Island house
wives in domestic science. as well as
every branch of culinary art. Her
coming is awaited with considerable
interest and that the classes will be
largely attended is assured.
Daily classes are to be inaugurated
Monday afternoon by Mrs. Armstrong
and these classes will be arranged so
that each woman in attendance may
learn every feature in regard to
cooking.
Is WIDELY KNOWN.
Mrs. Armstrong, who is one of the
most widely known and possibly the
most practical demonstrators in the
science OF cooking, will teach prac-
teal economy in the kitchen, as well
as give demonstrations on how to
prepare food for cooking. In other
cities where Mrs. Armstrong has con-
Quoted similar schools, her demon
STATIONS have been witnessed by
large crowds of women, anxious to
learn to cook or to improve the
knowledge they already had. Mrs.
Armstrong will deliver lectures in
regard to the art of scientific and
labor saving cooking, and her lee
lures will be couched in such plain
English that even a child will thor
oughly grasp her meaning.
Among the women of Rock Island
the coming of the cooking school is
causing a world of comment, and ev-
eryone is preparing to do the bak-
ing of her life in order to be success
full in the competition.
The Argus has extended a gen.
eral welcome to the women of Rock
Island as well as those of nearby
cities to come to the cooking school
and receive the benefits of Mrs.
superior knowledge and
indications point to a number of out
of-town women, anxious to learn
more about the art of cooking who
will be in attendance upon the great
cooking school.
Season tickets to the cooking
school may be secured by clipping
the coupon from The Argus and ex-
changing 1t at The Argus Office for
the season ticket No charges what
ever is made for the exchange and
the tickets are waiting.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
A ROOSEVELT DOUBLE.


One night during the present week
it was reported that Theodore Roose-
welt was a guest at the New Harper
that he had slipped in to spend the
night while enroute on a trip to the
west
The tip was put under way in the
lobby of the hotel and instantly there
was a rush for the register. The
clerk helped in the search, but the
name of the former president could
not be located in the big book. Trav-
cling incognito, was the wise sugges-
ton of one of those who said he knew
the lion fighter and was so sure that
he had not made a mistake that he
was willing to wager his months
check against last summers straw hat
He was travelling salesman; had
been on the road Is years, he said
had crossed palms a dozen times with
the sage of Oyster Bay, and could pick
him out of an army of men that re-
sembled him.
Where did he go? That was the
question. The traveller bumped into
him, he explained, just as he was COM
ing through the main entrance of
the hotel. Roosevelt, he said, while
seemingly not in a hurry, evidently
was headed for set destination His
first impulse was to halt him, but he
did notswish to be rude, and assuming
that he was stopping at the hotel, he
would look him UP later IN the evening
and they would exchange greetings.
Did he have the glasses?" inquir-
ed one.
Sure. And the mustache. If any
thing he seemed to be much heavier
than he was when | met him last
summer But he was not smiling. His
face was closed and he acted as though
he might have been threatened by a
Crouch
Have the cowboy hat?" butted in
beIlboy.
NO he don't always wear that style
cage, you know. He was in a derby
this time
This line of conversation continued
until one of the party offered to buy
a drink on the distinguished visitor.
The positive traveller thought he was
being guyed and he insisted that he
pay for the libation- His offer was
unanimously.
The gathering at the bar did not dis |
perse with the one round OF drinks. |
There were eight in the party. The |
positive traveller. after he had sur
rounded several highoalls began telling |
the Roosevelt family history. Fact |
vas he was pretty close to the former
president, although he did not like TO |
Drag of the distinction among strang- /
ers. He was with Teddy in Cuba; had /
been offered a nice berth after his |
elevation to the presidency, but not
saring 10 take advantage of such a
7aluable friendship. he refused the DO
that il carried a salary
If $1,000 a year. What was that to
lim2 He could turn that amount in
n a Ihree-mont tbs season on the road
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
OUR WEEKLY STORY.
BY A. ID. SPERRY.

An elderly darby in Georgia was
charged with the theft of chickens
The negro had the misfortune to be
defended by young and inexperienc-
ed attorney, although it is doubtful
whether anyone could have secured his
acquittal, the commission of the
crime having been proved beyond all
doubt. The darky received a pretty
severe sentence.
Thank you, sah,'' said he cheerfully,
addressing the judge when the SEN
tence had been pronounced. Oats
mighty hard, sab, but it amt anywhere
what l 'spected. l thought, sab, dat
between my character and dat speech
of my lawyer dat you'd hang me,
shore"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
Old Soldier Tortured.

For years l suffered unspeakable
torture from indigestion. constipation
and liver trolble," wrote A. X.
Smith. a war veteran at Erie. Pa.
hut DR.. Kings New Life Pills fixed
ME all right. They're simply great"
Thy them for any stomach. liver or
kidney trouble. Only 25 cents At all
druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
FROM THE VALLEY CLARION.

Lem futile drove in last week for
the first time in four months. He
hasn't been well. He has just heard
about the Lorimer case, but says hell
withhold his opinion until he has di-
gested all the evidence. Lem says
he don't care what congress does IN
the matter, he's going to decide for
himself
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
THE ARGUS COOKING SCHOOL

and put in the remainder of the year
fishing and yachting
Must then there was a movement to-
wards the lobby.
There he is now" shouted the posi-
tive traveller.
'How's my old friend?" and he push
ed out his palm to a dignified gentle
man who was approaching the desk.
You have the best of me, old man."
said the latter
Your Colonel Roosevelt, are you
not?"
You're right"
"Hurrah! | knew l was right"
Yes, am not"
Then the positive traveller caved az
he led the way back to the oil'parlor.
The man mistaken for the former
president was Ira Karr of Cordova
You know Ira? Well. he does resem-
BILE Colonel Roosevelt, and you viii
note it the next time you have occa-
sion to meet the Cordovan face to
face. He has been accused before
when on trips away from home, but he
never suspected he would fall victim
in his home stamping grounds.
WHAT HAS BECOME OF THEMR
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

the representative of the power COM
pany.
81 am 50 thankful TO you for your
trouble Now will you be kind enough
to tell the doctor to return and blow
out the light and go to bed?"
Now the doctor would give most
anything to learn the identity of the
joker who put it over on him.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

failed to take her TO lunch after the
theatre and give her a ride home in
a taxi just to make the neighbors
jealous?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
COMMISSION FORM
LOSES BY 4~VOTES
Sterling People Fail TO Come Out to
Polls and Opponents Carry
Day.

Sterling, Ill, Jan. 2S.-The prop
osition to establish the commission
form of government lost here yester-
day by majority of four votes. A
total of SIS for commission form was
cast and $50 against. The saloon
interests fought the innovation. Only
half a vote was polled.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
HORSES KNEW SIGN.

team belonging TO Albric De Gee
tere, the Park View dairyman, ran off
Sunday morning. Someone had enough
presence of mind to yell Milk" and
the animals stopped after running six
blocks. The only damage Slone was
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
SCOOPS on OUR CORRESPONDENTS.
Here are a few items we chop from
neigh boring exchanges this week:

&. n. Clark butchered n beef Monday.
Mrs. Mary Mary Sisk now has tcle-
phone. IL was Installed last Friday.
Herschel Dorrance visited friends in
our midst Sunday.
Jimmie Quinn is saving wood at Mr..
Hayes. who Is having tho large locust
trees on his farm turned into posts and
fuel.
Rev. McMaken officiated at the mar
riage or a prominent young couple I'm
Rural township, Rock Island county.
Wednesday. He returned on the mid
night train
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

The old-fashioned business man who
would walk to and from the Office three
times a day just for the exercise?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

The old-fashioned horse that would
stand without hitching?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

The old-fsahioned merchant who
would tell you not to worry about
the money?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO

lied at $4,000. The firm will make and
sell iron CRATE bars.
Jan. 2s-A. J. Lloyd has gone TO Pc
tersburg. III: for a visit with reIa-
tives
The ice bridge seems TO be in de-
mand between this city and Daven-
port. Unless people are careful the
coroner may be in demand
Buffalo Bill and his Prairie Wair'
entertained a fair sized audience at
Harper's theatre last evening.
The steamboat traffic on the upper
Mississippi last season was greater
than that OF 1884. The Diamond 10
line will have a new boat afoat next
year. II will be 500 feet long, will be
a double-decker, and viii be built of
steel up 10 the lower deck The cost
will be more than $1,000 The
round trip between ST Paul and st.
Louis can be made in seven days
Jan. 29-Ice men are happy. This
weather suits them exactly. A con-
slant stream OF loads pass through the
city on the way to the ice houses in
the west end
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
Decree Soon PROMULGATED.

Decree soon PTomuI9ated.
Lisbon, Jan. 2S.-FoTeign Minister
Machade announced today the govern
ment's decree separating the church
and the state would be promulgated
within a month.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

1t grieves us to be obliged to make
reference in our columns to the card
party held under the auspices of the
Busy Bee circle last Thursday after
noon, inasmuch as the unpleasant
climax involves some of our very best
women. Despite that the officers OF
the circle announced that none would
be permitted to participate in the
games but members OF the circle and
the immediate members of their re-
spective families, II is charged that
two women who have been referred to
by the officers as ringers" attended,
each carrying off a prize, the two fin
est of the three offered. The women
who stand accused entered most We
hement protest, holding that they were
related by marriage to one of the lead
ing members The latter declined to
take part in the controversy. We re
frain from mentioning names in this
issue, although 1t may become our
painful duty to do so later on. as the
dispute remains unsettled. The two
main prizes still are in the hands
of the officers of the circle, and they
will not be awarded until the circle
holds a meeting TO take vote on the
question. In the meantime our village
is torn with gossip, none of it doing
anybody any good.
Milt Purvis reports five fowl that
he had just fattened and prepared for
market missing from his place. They
disappeared last Friday night Milt
says he is a peaceable citizen. and
we'll second the motion. and he's not
hunting trouble, but he declares he
saw in one of the backyards in our
village some feathers that looked sus-
piciously familiar. He's going TO
reserve judgment. he says, in hope
that the money for the missing chick
ems will come to him anonymously
through the mail. IL this is done he
says he will keep his suspicious to him
self Otherwise. he says, he may tell
what he thinks he knows.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

the churning OF five gallons Of cream
to butter-East Moline Herald.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
COURT ON RECESS.

At the conclusion yesterday after
noon of the testimony OF the PLAINTIFFS
side in the Looney-Wilmerton suit In
the circuit court. Judge f. c. Graves
ordered an adjournment until Monday
afternoon at o'clock. Looney and
Myron Jordan testified to the effect
that Wilmerton had purchased stock
in the former Looney publication and
had failed to pay for the same. The
defense is slated TO introduce its tes-
timony beginning Monday. and IL will
probably be the middle OF the week be-
fore a verdict is reached. Looney is
seeking TO recover $4,000 which he
alleges Wilmerton owes him.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

Jan. 5o-John W. Jones OF Taylor
Ridge has decided TO cast his lot in
Kansas, where he will move in a short
time
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
DAMAGES REFUSED
Jury in William Junge Suit Is
Instructed to Bring in YER
dict for Defense.
TUMBLE IN A CELLARWAY
Plaintiff Claims TO Have Sustained
Bodily Injuries in Fall at the
Defendants Home.

The jury in the William Junge dam
age suit against ole II. Hageness of
Moline, in which the sum OF $1,000 was
asked for personal injuries, brought In
a verdict of not guilty yesterday after
noon, instructions 10 this effect having
been given by Judge w. II. Gest. The
taking of testimony occupied the lat
ter half of the week in the branch
court The plaintiff claimed that sew
eral years ago, while employed as
tailor at the Hageness home in Moline.
he fell down a cellarway while APP
preaching the door of the house. The
fall broke several bones and he was
laid up a long time. In the opinion or
the court the defendant could not be
held responsible for the accident. and
accordingly he ordered an acquittal.
Attorney G. A. Shallberg appeared for
Hageness and J. l.. Haas represented
JunRe
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28
(From The Argus of 1860

Jan. 25-Will c. Collins has gone TO
Kansas. where he will engage in the
hardware business with his brother
Aid. s. ]. Collins. The latter will CON
tinue to reside in this city
The SSrd anniversary OF the Young
Mems Christian association of New
York will be held Jan 25. The asso-
citation is one OF the oldest in the
country.
Because of the large growth OF the
land league il has been necessary TO
engage the Turner hall for the meet
ings on Sunday evenings
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

WHAT HAS BECOME OF THEMF
The old-fashioned girl who wouldn't
call her escort dead one" because he
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-01-28

Jan. 27-The Sunday Herald of Chi
cago devotes considerable space to an
item concerning q number OF Rock Is
landers who have been successful in
that city.
Al largely attended meeting Of the
Rodmsn Rifles held last evening the
boys received their new state regula-
ton uniforms. A D. WEIGH and W.
t. Channon were elected as trustees.
l., V. Eckhart is visiting in Keokuk.
John Streckfus is one of the incor-
porators OF a new firm. the Water Cir
culating Crate Bar company, capital
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1911-09-22
Sra @beeler, isis.

Sdnr bar bi babt ct 9obt 4ar oe ale
herrurbt fanr GOD GpItn9. Set bar pi
fprreiten 6bert Iar. iaa Solf Der beb life
hbab l1aar er. Selb ina tsrt Tom Oct bar
ifior. a her taaIie goo @pIing. Soar
bar Solf brebet n,eget meb Sotetesbprfs
ming, os De faar bit eob Ibliue, Gptec
terue er o9iaa / COB SriS, ibet De betoles
meb 60 % 10 Gents pr. 8uibeI. Ser
aples ale Sing, tror ies, o9 iaar faar
man ogiaa en- 9ob Gblin9 af Sobat. ct
8ar eamle Sobafsbprfere ubtalte forles
BEN, at be nlorig babbe feet itsrre Sobaf
enb ben Der, 90 Bet bar 10 siIbt at bsre.
Ser er abffiutee norffe SoIt o9 flere fer
Der no til at bGibe, thi Der fornnter en- MI
os en- oa og tie6er Jig Sanb, u9 bet bilbe
bore eoot ON Der niIbe fontnte rigtig
mango. 2dnbet beepnber mi at bIibe Iaa
bbrt. at bet nGiten life er at faa for
Pense, ibet Sriien bar forbo6Iet Jig paa
no9le faa Iar.
Reb en- beuli8 Silieu til "GoIten"s
&ebattsr, 9erionale o9 2Giere.
Ole St. 9. Siie.