The Washington bee., 1911-11-04
Public Men And ThinDs

was standing at the intersection
of 7 and Florida avenue the other
day when something went by me with
a swish, at velocity about as great
as old Mars racing around his orbit
to make up about ten kilOmeters OF
lost time. | looked both ways, but
saw nothing but a streak OF dust |
turned to a cop who was passing and
asked him if he heard or saw any
thing pass, or was | just dreaming.
Yes he said, something passed.
1t was Doc. Williston in his 1000
Maxwell model But do you let
EN- speed that fast?" | asked We'll,
we, do him, the cop replied, because
we've arrested him so many times for
exceeding the speed limit that the
judges have come to the conclusion
that the only way to stop him is to
nave congress pass a law making it
"a mSdemeanOr for him to have an
auto. You see Doc. whizzes bv,
waves his hand, and yells 'hOwdy' to
us so good-naturedly that we lust
amt got the nerve to arrest him any
more And that Doc. Curtis IS run
ming him merry chase for title Of
speed-limit king But OF course all
these Colored doctors cases are ur-
gent ones. They have to be there in
a minute or the money won't be there
when they get there But Williston
is certainly the speed king"
Speaking about Doc. Williston's
Jack Johnson's speeding stunts, re-
minds me that | heard Jim Neall has
found himself an auto up some dark
alley. | don't know what make it is
guess the maker was ashamed to put
his name on 1t, but from the noise it
makes, and from its general contour,
think it must be sister ship to
Almond SCOTS crested noise mOnger
and about a second cousin to Prof
Craigs ancient mariner. Jim's auto
lis one of those G. Q. p. machines
(get out and push). Next time Jim
runs his machine in the shop | sug-
gest that he tell the Tepairers to put
about four mufflers on it just so il
won't make any more noise than a
stone crusher in slow action But I
sort of take pride in these colored
'profeshes' who squander a couple
OF dollars or so for an Indifferent
auto. 1t shows they are coming by
sure stages. Now Jim Neal blew in
here from Tennessee to take gov
ernment job He held that until they
discovered he was making a higher
per centage on loans than the bank
of Monte Carlo was making on rOu-
lette, then one day they stopped his
pay and Jim went out into the cold
1
an intermittent pgactice OF law and a
steady lOanlng Of money at rate
which makes the interest double the
principle every twenty-four hours
i'm has managed to keep the wolf
from the door and provide himself
and wife with a decent home. | have
often watched him going down +
street. with his head buried down be
tween his two shoulders, a la turtle
and like as if he was afraid he might
lose it, and casting fertive Rockefeller
glances with a pair of little eyes that
are q cross between green, brown
and blue, and wondered if Jim would
ever get tired competing with the
Bureau Of Engraving in making
money. One thing you must remem-
Der, Jim had to save money to have
money to loan. and the Afriganus who
saves his money in this town is en-
titled to 4 Carnegie medal. And an
other thing you must not forget Is
that there are a whole lot Of SWITCHES
here who like to borrow and on whom
it taking long chance to lend. jim
NeaIl has three weaknesses; making
money. singing in the church choir
and being an independent in politics
The first YOU will never cure him Of
the second he ought to be cured ot
out of consideration for an afflicted
public. and the third he has beer
cured of ever since ne attended that
Boston meeting and made a speech
that was full of insanity germs. What
Jim knows about politics could be
written on postage stamp with space
to spare. What he thinks he knows
about politics would fill every volume
of Chambers encyclopedia. But the
fact that the fellow lives in hand
some nine-rOOm, detached house that
belongs to him individually, cOlleC-
lively and personally, and the fact
that he owns a sister ship to Almond
SCOTS noise producer, and the tact
that he could make good living after
they separated him from the govern
ment's pay roll all point to moral
if YOU save YOUR money, hustle and
get there, you must have the stuff
in you out of which they make mil
lionaires. My advice to Jim, and
he's a right clever little five-foOt-
seven Fisk University prodigy, is to
keep on Just as you have been going
but for heavens sake cut out poll
tics and put a soft pedal on pour
singing, and you will never be re
garded as a disturber of the peace
By and by Jim will work up to d real
automobile, and when he does its d
handful Of sawdust to blind robbir
Of the Gloucester. Mass, species that
he's got the cash to waste on it, be.
cause Jim Neall never flies farther
than his bank account in spending
money for useless things He's one
Of those safe, sure plodders who be
lieves a penny saved is a penny earn
ed Look at Jim Nealls house once
and you will go off and soliloquize tc
yourself that fellow is wave
breaker" or in United States English
he's a hustler.
81 have read somewhere or another
in Dionysious Helicarnassus, | think
+bat IIic+Orv * PhiIOsODhy teaching