Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-01-03
STEALING 4 BATH
Adventure Of a Trio Of English
Tourists. In Germany.
A PRINCE AND A PRIVATE TUB

His Autocratie Highness Was Shame
fully Ignored and Enraged, and His
Luxurious Bath Was ShamefuIIy Ap-
propriated and Abused.
| Parker. Willis and had been doing"
Germany on the cheap. and don't
know which of us enjoyed it least.
| Parker grumbled the most, but then
he always did. and, though Wilks and
tried to look on the humorous side Of
things, we lost flesh over it. We had
happened upon heat wave and swal-
lowed tremendous lot of dust and
flies thrown in gratis, cheap though our
tariff was. But we couldn't swallow
the foreign titles that cropped up
around us. We had too much British
pride for that. And. as luck would
have it. at the last town Of our tour
we were quartered on the top floor of
n hotel where a German prince occu-
pied suit of rooms. In our opinion,
three English tourists were worth more
than thirty German princes. and we
dropped our boots Oh the floor at night
in the vain hope that he was under
meath. But. alas. his suit was on the
first floor. and we never even caught
glimpse Of him, though once we heard
his high pitched. arrogant, penetrating
voice and the oozy fulsome rejoinders
of his valet both articulating a Ian
guagc which Parker contemptuously
described as 1.-The limit"
1t was the last morning Of our stay.
Parker and l had gone back to the
hotel to pack our bags before departing
for the station. The weather was hot
ter and dustier than ever. and Wilks.
always energetic. had gone to the pub
lie bathing place on the river in search
of Il swim. had letter to write.
and Parker wandered round the hotel
to kill time. Presently he thrust his
face In at the door. 1t had lost It's
familiar lowering look and wore a
bright and alert expression.
~ say" he calculated mysteriously,
almost under his breath. "1'vc just
found il bathroom in this blightcd hole
bath full Of tepid water. with Their
mometer in it-clean, warmed tow
els on the rail. and all that. What
shall do?''
"Do" l replied. Get into 1t, man,
and let me know when you've finish
ed"
He wasn't long and came back look
ing wonderfully young and clean. The
mail had just arrived and had spent
a few minutes over my letters before
l also found The bathroom. following
his directions. 1t was without excep-
ton the best have ever been IN.
and. to my surprise, the big porcelain
bath was half full Of tepid water. and
set Of clean. newly warmed towels
hung on the rail. took what the
gods gave and asked no questions, but
wanted more cold water and en-
perm"ntcd unsucccssfully with vari-
GUS lovers on the wall. As last hope
l attacked Il cart wheel affair on the
floor and after stiff struggle man
aged to turn It, 4 food of cold water
guSllcd in along one side Of the bath,
and it was all | could do to wrench
the wheel around and stop the flow.
AS I did so light came upon Inc in
flash. This Was the princes bath, pre-
pared for him Il second time by his
obseUuiouS valet. 1t was the glorious
certainty Of the fact that made me en-
Joy that bath as have never enjoyed
a bath before or since. The cheap
English tourists were one up on his
serene highncss. after all. Still, l
admit. when I had finished Tubing
lost no time in getting back to the
fourth floor again. | told Parker the
great news. and we were just discuss
ing It With rartllrc -MLcn Mills came
In. lacking supremacy
first time on the tour.
"Thc bathing place isn't opcn.' he
snarlcd Had all the flag of going
there for nothing What dirty beg
gars they ale!'
mot all of them" l replied. Don't
you worry, old chap" And ! described
to him the position Of the bathroom.
and he was off like hare. During his
absence we thoughtfully packed our
own bags and his. In ten minutes he
returned. fresh as a mountain daisy
and bubbling over with gratitude.
"What sort Of bath did you get:'
[ asked careIcssly.
"A clinker." he cried. land 1t was
all put ready for me, clean towels
and everything. The only difficulty l
had was with the cold water wheel
arrangement on the floor
1T was bit stiff" agreed.
1T turned on all right" said Wilks
"but l couldn't turn it off,
"What did you do?" we asked to
gether
II left it," he answered simply.
"What time are we due at the sta
tion?" said Parker.
"Now," replied. and we took our
bags and went.
AS we descended the stairs with
studied calmncss we heard electric
bells continuously tingling on the first