davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
FOOT-ROPEs WERE NOT SAFE.
Boatswain's Mate Satellites Skipper BY
Long Fall That Ho Was En-
tirely In Wrong.

The skipper was man who had q
good opinion of himself and his no
tons. He had pulled through ship
wreck. mutiny, and other perils of the
deep. but he came cropper once For
one OF his voyages he had shipped q
boatswain's mate who bore something
Of reputation.
One day the skipper ordered him
aloft to examine sail on the royal
yard. X.
"'Tain't safe, cap'n!" protested the
boatswain's mate; "the foot-ropes has
got to be fixed first
do as tell you'll" thunde ed the
captain. The foot-ropes are all
right. | know they are"
The man went up.
Five minutes later he came tumbl-
ing down through the rigging from the
top of the mast, distance of over
100 feet.
With bang he handed on the belly
of the mainsail and bounded into one
of the canvascovered boats
The sailors, thinking him dead,
crowded about him In circle.
To their amazement he sat up.
His eyes wandered vacantly about
until they rested on the leathery face
of the skipper. when they lighted up
with intelligence.
"Capn," he said, slowly; you was
mistaken about them foot-ropes."
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
YOUNG UNTIL THiRTY-FivE.
From That Time On Unmarried Won.
en- Are "old Maids Says Boz II.
ton ". w. C. A.

When does a woman cease to be-
young? Woman herself, for reasons
that require no elaboration here, de-
clnes, as a rule, to Ak the period. Mas
culine authorities, for the most part.
are chary OF venturing upon such dam
gerous ground. Hence the question haE
ever been involved In uncertainty and
It would perhaps remain so were Il not
that responsible authority none 9th
er than the Young Woman's Christfau
association, the title OF which indt~
\ Gates It's competency comes to tbs
front with decision which may fair-
ly be accepted as conclusive. II 10 to
the Boston branch OF the association
that the world is indebted for the So
luton Of the problem. The occasion for
solving II arose from the completion
Of a new home for the young woman
OF the association in the Massachn
sets city. In framing rules for this
establishment. It was found necessary
to specify precisely the limit Of young
womanhood, beyond which the benes
Ats of the home could not be enjoyed
\ This has been fixed at S5 years. Up
to that age young woman comes
within the meaning Of the title as ur-
derstood by the association and may
enjoy the advantages Of membership
and residence In the home. On reach
ing her thirty-flfth birthday she MUIR
resign her quarters. On that fatal day
| her young womanhood ceases and the
! "old maid" label Is placed upon her
indelibly and irrevocably. Thus the
matter lis settled beyond further cavil
or dispute. Pittsburgh Chronicle Tel.
egraph.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
How Tourists EconomIze.

A comedy of economy ia reported
from st. Moritz. A stout couple, &C
companied by son and daughter who
were also thick" as the Germans
translate stout, entered crowded ho-
tel at the busy time Of lunch and or
dered one lunch at table d'hote. The
father sat down and finished two help
ings of soup and all the bread near
him and left the table, his place be-
ing taken for the entrees by his wife.
who had been waiting with her chill
dren In the hotel corridor until her
husband appeared
The young man then took his moth.
er's place to attack the Joint, and he
was followed by his sister for the
sweets, all doing Justice to the menu.
In the crowd the tourists did not no
tice the unusual lunch, but the head
waiter did, and when asked for the
bill presented one for four lunches.
The paterfamilias grumbled good
deal--and paid
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
How Perfume Is Weighed.

It was the Italian physician Saivt
oni who devised microbalance OF
such extreme delicacy that 1t clearly
demonstrated the loss Of weight OF
musk by volatilization. Thus the In
visible perfume floating of in the air
Is indirectly weighed.
The essential part Of the apparatus
ia very thin thread Of glass. fixed
at one end and extended horizontally.
The microscopic objects to be weighed
are placed upon the glass thread near
its free end and the amount OF fexure
produced Is observed with a micro
scope magnifying 100 diameters.
A mote weighing one thousandtn
Of a milligram is said perceptibly 20
bend the thread.--Buffalo Courier.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
Valuable jamaican Woods.

The most valuable Of tho jamaican
woods are the yaca. tho bully tree.
ironwood. hahoe, juniper, cedar, ma
hogany, 1ignum vitae, ebony fiddle
wood, yoke. prickly yellow, broad leaf
soapwood. cashew and calabash. Hard
wood is used principally for railway
sleepers. telegraph poles and fence
posts, cedars used chiefly for native
shingles and furniture, and other
woods are used in building houses in
the highlands. Unfortunately tho
streams are not large enough to loe
them to the coast, but there ia no rear
con why portable engines and saw
mills should not be- utilized 80 az TO-
turn these woods into the market
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
Swiss ENGLISH.

Swiss English always seems de-
signed to round of the scenery with
the touch Of humor For years the
best In the writer's collection has
been an inscription by a path leading
to waterfall near Meiringen, which
explained that toll was necessary
FOR the foundation and undertaking."
Of that path Until last month, how
ever. there was nothing quite equal
to the Strasburg cathedral notice:
Express Introduction to circulate dur
ing divine service Beadle have to
preserve order" But Switzerland has
at least tied with Germany now In the
collection. In a certain Oberland val
ley, too unspoiled yet to be given
away by name. there ia series OF
gates Nhlch bear short request In
Overland German to the wayfarer to
close them And twice It Is trans
lated into English Shut up!'--Lon.
don Chronicle.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
FLAVOR DOES NOT EvAPoRATE
Combination Pan for Roasting Meat
or Baking Bread Has Sliding
Tray and Cover.

A combination pan that can be used
either for roasting meat and potatoes
or for baking bread has been invent
ed by a Colorado man. The bottom
portion Is rectangular, and above II
rises slanting top like a mansard
roof. A tray slides back and forth
in the casing on sideways that run
along the sides. The front end Of this
tray operates to close the lower half
OF the opening In the front end OF the
casing and hinged flap closes the
upper half, Across the center OF the
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
VIII Bake Bread Also.

pan Ia a fiat tray with perforations,
that allow the draining of liquid from
anything that requires draining or
keeps two articles separate. The
advantage of an inclosed pan of this
type is that In cooking meat. for ex-
ample. all the flavor is kept In the
pan instead Of evaporating In steam.
and the meat is done moister. Articles
cooked In It require less attention
than than In an old-style utenfil. too
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
CousiinMack

Mrs. Gregg. who cultivated breezy.
ofFhand manner. had talked, from the
day OF her arrival at her sisters home.
OF the necessity Of her calling upon
her husbands cousin. Collie Mack.
SO she, with. a party Of four or hve
of her relatives In various degrees,
turned the headlights Of their auto
mobile toward the exclusive village.
or suburb, In which she felt convinced
she would find Collie Mack.
She was still In the seventh heaven
OF self-righteousnes when she was
rudely recalled by the mundane curl
ostty Of the driver. who requested the
street and number OF her cousin.
oh" she replied. airily. tits with
some doctor, on Oak avenue, about
two blocks from the car line" Then
she settled back to her fancies once
more.
The driver scowled and turned the
car around. He drove slowly up and
down Oak avenue. scanning the houses
on both sides Of the street within q
radius Of two blocks OF every car track,
but to no effect Finally he gave It up,
well, II amt here" he remarked
withsringly.
! why. perhaps It isn't" genially ~
sponded Mrs. Gregg Il forgot that II
must have been fifteen or twenty
years ago that he lived here. on.
and besides, It was his sister who
lived with the doctor, and she was q
trained nurse, 80 It might have been
that she Just had case there. don't
suppose Collie Mack lived there at all.
Wasnf that funnyT'
She thought q moment. Haven't
you people some idea OF where to
lookf she asked, glancing about ex-
pectantly e
I'VE might look In the city direo-
Booty volunteered her sister.
30 the whole party got out at the
neeSsst drug store and pored over the
Hist. u MAcks.
There's no Collie Mack hero. that's
sure asserted q mutineer.
oh, but that's just q nickname" ex.
plained Mrs. Gregg II really don't
know Just what his name is. II be,
gins with M or H. or perhaps it was
wv. can't remember"
''Oh, what's. tho use. anyway a
nephew exclaimed disgustedIy. "You
don't know him and he doesn't know
you, and what1l you miss IL you don't
lsee him2"
Mrs. Gregg looked at him reproach-
fully and said nothing. ~.
There II is." cried her brother-in
Iiaw, excitedly. Here's Martin Henry
Worthington Macki That's all the
snitials. They probably called him
Collie because he'd take a whole col
lumn."
They excitedly viewed the name in
eurn. Mrs. Gregg smiled In conscious
superiority. Yes. of course, that's 49,
she exclaimed. my mind rarely fails
to recall Names"
So they climbed back into the car
and broke the speed regulations get
ting to the address for fear Collie
Mack might get away.
At the door Mrs. Gregg took the
lead. She shook hands with the youns
girl who opened the door, exclaimine
delightedfy: We'll. well! I'm Mrs
Gregg, and these are my sisters and
my brother.in-law and my baby and !
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
What She Wanted.

They had been married but two
months and they loved each other de
votedly. He was in the back yard
yard backing his shoes. Jack" she
called at the top of her voice--"Jack
come here, quick!'
He knew at once that she was In
imminent Danger. He grasped stitch
and rushed up two flights of stairs tC
the rescue. He entered the room
breathlessly, and found her looking
out of the window.
Look" she said, that's the kind OF
bonnet want you to get me."-Har.
per's Magazine.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11

With no rent to pay. no street car
fares or other Of the usual unavoid-
able city expenses to meet. the barge
and canal boat men OF the Neither
lands live possibly the most frugal
lives Of any Of the urban working
classes in Europe. They. with their
families, exist in the bulls Of their
craft. The rooms are small. with IT.
lie ventilation. and necessarily low TO
enable the boats 10 pass under the
bridges. The decks form the chill
drcns playground Chickens arc
sometimes kept On The hOat and con.
strne ne garbaes.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
lIut1tnInu's Freak.

A strange freak OF lightning Is re-
ported from France During . recent
thunderstorm the lightning struck
three byres In village In the depart
ment OF the Loire, killing of the cows
f. each byre that were lying down
is In ail--while all those standing up
escaped unhurt.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
One Of Lies REGRETS.

Among the lesser regrets that min
gle with graver sorrow for the friends
OF an earlier generation we have lost
are our omissions 70 ask them so
many questions they could have an
swered 40 easily and would have
been pleased to be asked.--O W
Holmes.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
Her Speciality.

81 thought you said George had mar
ried a good manager"
HE did"
81 called on her yesterday and the
house was In terrible disorder. II
looked as II everything had been left
to take care Of itSelf."
But you should see her managing
George" .'.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
Fond OF WaIkina Sticks.

or all people perhaps none IL more
fond Of canes or more skilled In their
use than our fellow citizens OF Porto
Rico The walking stick in that is
land would seem to mark social dts
tinctions among men as fans do
among women,
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
Hose or Hosiery.

A New Rochellite whose yard need
ed fall attention. called at the hard
ware department OF New York store
II am In need Of some lawn hose" he
said. "Try the hosiery department
second floor" responded the young
lady In charge.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
Moral in Evolution.

The history OF evol,ition'is one long
record Of victory in the facesof appar
emily insuperable obstacles Man -
man because he Is ever doing the I'm
possible--or that which seems such to
weakness and folly.--Rev. w. 2. 81
monds.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
Sha Canltulatnd.

would you like to fly with meT'
asked the aviator. addressing Miss
Fadedout.
"Oh, sir" she cried, grasping him
around the neck. this is awfully sud.
den, but II you insist"
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
Can See Everything but That

VdH Ccc EvcT ytH'TTg UUt 7 HaG
Fired a policeman. have they!
What for7'
They found he had defective Wis
ion"
Color blind?"
mo; gambling joint blind"
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
lust az Good.

lis your wife in?" asked the friend
IF the druggist.
NO" replied the druggist, absent
nindedly. but can show you some.
hing just as good PUCK.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
Value az the Lands

Twenty thousand dollars for the boy
yho lost both hands--the reward Just
ustainsd by the New Jersey courts
.s little enough.
~ Il abput III tAat most perRQns
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
An Exception,

You know It is matter of pride
with me to let nobody pass me-"
"Glad to hear 1t. I'm theatrical
manager"
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11

Man wants but little here below.
md he gets II when he goes 70 the
grocery With less than SIS
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11
Anything cut ina.!.

n" Anything cut INaN'H
Only one letter IN lnii!ion ~
astray. and that one an +xrf@
says. never happens To h, u til
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11

How nice 1t is to meet relatives!
Do sit down by me here and let us
talk over old tirnes!" Mrs Gregg
smiled bewitchingly up at the Scotch
man. you know Catherine STAYED
with us for some months, and grew
to think so much Of her. 1t was on
account Of her that | was simply wild
to meet you. Where is she now?"
The face of the Scotchman was full
OF amazement. Mrs. Mack's eyes were
fastened upon her husband in horror.
Suddenly Mrs, Gregg's soaring spir-
its came down to earth. She looked
searchingly at her new cousin. She
also observed the wife's wordless ac-
cusations.
"Why--why--" she began. isn't
Catherine your sister? Don't you re-
member DR.. Gregg? IL think we've
made some mistake" Then she looked
reproachfully at her brother.in-law.
I'm sorry to have troubled you" she
added, "and beliese we'd better 20
now"
She arose and led dignified re-
treat, Mrs. Mack leaned over the rail-
ing and gazed down suspiciously as
her husband opened the door Tor the
visitors.
Algerian Bargaining.
Americans who travel In eastern
lands are amused as we'll as aggra-
waited by the business methods which
prevail there. A recent traveller IN
Algiers concluded 70 buy mule, and
finally found one for sale.
He went to the owner, with an in
terpreter, and dialogue then ensued,
as follows:
The interpreter, with yell: 81
will give you ten dollars for that
mule"
The Arab: "Ten dollars! Murder!
Thief! Brigand!"
The Interpreter: 81 will make 1t
eleven dollars. Do you hear, you
scoundrel? offer you eleven dollars
for your mule, which will die in about
week. You are a robber and a thief
to take that much: but | am gener-
GUS man, and serve great man, 80
offer you eleven dollars, you scum
of Africa,"
Then they both yelled and shook
their fists at each other, and to the
American 1t looked as If they were
going for each other, hammer and
tongs.
The row they made was terrible,
but no one seemed to notice It.
Finally bargain was struck, and
then they fell upon each others necks
and embraced.
And the American got his mule for
eleven dollars.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11

nc-hew T. ~crr fntSc- at homegft
Without writtng Tor q reply from the
stunned g'rl ybn made Tor the stairs,
followed BY her train Of relatives
II never dreamed that he was mar.
rod" she cyclnined 70 the little won.
an. who In dared way offered them
chairs And this Zig girl Is your
daughter! Well. welI!" And she smiled
with friendly warmth which brought
no response from the hostess
Suddenly the door opened and A
large Scotchman stood In 1t moment
while he viewed his callers.
I'm 80 glad 10 know you!" ex.
claimed Mrs Gregg as she FASTENED to
greet him. And before she knew il
she gave him warm, cousinly kiss
MY husband, DR.. Gregg. has spoken
so much OF you that | know you as
well as II had always known you
personally" declared Mrs Gregg.
why didn't you let us know that you
were married? Oh. pardon me; for
got to intro'uce you" And she turned
to beam on her own party.
The host wore a panied and startled
expression. but he bowed gravely. Mrs.
Mack seemed TO have been turned to
stone,
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11

Necessity for Prcfundity.
lis that man q deep thinkcr?"
HE has to ne. It's his business t.
bore wells"
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-11-11

Tn ee la Biscuit
never disappoint!
You have never
heard anyone say
"The Uneeda Biscuit
i'm that last package
were not as good as
usual"
You have never said
it yourself,
1t is one thing to
make soda crackers
that are occasionally
good.
1t is quite another
thing to make them
so that they are not
only always better
than all other soda
crackers, but always
of unuaryir,g good
ness.
The name "Uneeda"
stamped on every
one of them-means
that if a million
packages Of Uneeda
Biscuit were placed
before you, you
could choose any
one of them, con-
fident that every
soda cracker i'm that
package would be
as good as. the best
Uneeda Biscuit ever
baked.
SC apackage-never
sold in bulk.
NATIONAL BISCUIT
COMPANY
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-04-14
PERSONAL
MENTION

j. B. Snow of Baker is a guest Of
the Bowman.
John Hardwch Of Walla Walla, vis-
tied in Pendleton yesterday.
A. w. Claxon Of Walla Walla, came
in from the Garden City yesterday.
Wesley Anderson of Baker, is
among the out of town people in the
city.
H. e. Leonard of Hermiston, was
among the project people in Pendle-
ton yesterday.
d. w. Bowman came in from his
home at Echo yesterday and is spend
ing today in the city.
Carl Power of the firm of e. L.
Power & Son. went to Long Creek
this morning.
T. P. Gilliland of Athena was a
visitor In Pendleton yesterday and was
a guest of the st. George last night.
NJ. A. Sturtevant and wife of Pilot
Rock, came in from that town yes
terday afternoon and spent the night
here.
Mr.. and Mrs. r. L. Casteel of Pi-
lot Rock, came in from their home
yesterday afternoon on the local from
that place.
Mayor H. r. Newport Of Hermiston
came up from the project town last
evening and spent the night in the
city.
Mrs. Stephen A. Lowell returned
this morning from Walla Walla
where she had been on Sunday school
work.
r. w. Fletcher, circulation manager
| of the East Oregonian, made a trip
into the west end of the county this
| morning.
Roland Martin. the young O.-W. R
G. n. engineer, came up from Port
land yesterday and will remain here
| for some time.
E. p Marshall vice president OF
the Inland Irrigation company, went
! to the west end of the county this
| morning to attend to his interest:
there.
John P. McManus, editor by pro-
fession and land promoter in his idle
moments, returned to Pilot Rock
this morning after transacting busi-
ness in the city for the past two days
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-04-14

Home made breads. doughnuts a
specially. Goods delivered. Phone
Black 37S6.
For sale at a bargain, good lexis,
9 foot wall tent. Must be sold at once.
Enquire L. E. Penland.
Special rates to horses boarded by
the week OF month at the Commercial
Barn. $40 Aura street. Phone Main II.
Sharon & Eddings have secured the
local agency for the johnson Ideal
Halter. the best cheap halter in the
market.
For Sale Cheap-Two log houses at
Meacham, Ore. Modern improvements.
Six rooms each. Enquire Of Meach-
am Lumber Co.
For good light get a Steelmantle
kerosene burner Odorless, smoke
less. most brilliant light by small
lamp; satisfaction guaranteed. Carl
Obery. 211 Lee Street.
Phone Main 90 for good clean lump
or nut coal. Prompt delivery to ali
parts of the city. Crab Creek Lun =
ber Co.. 700 West Alta street.
II you want fresh meat from a
new, clean market, phone Main 445.
Farmers Meat Co.. Conrad Platzoeder.
manager. 224 e. Court street.
Two carloads brood sows on sale
at O.-W. R. & N. stockyards Sasur-
day. April 1st For particulars. see
Lee Teutsch.
Penland Bros. Transfer Co.. phone
Black 1891. Piano. furniture and
heavy trucking Of all kinds. Calls an
swered promptly. office SAT Main st.
For bread. cookies, pastry and
cakes made fresh every day, phone
Main 449 and the wagon will call
Royal Bakery, Webb and Cottonwood
streets.
For Sale-Two acre home east
Pendleton Alfalfa, fruit, garoen.
Good buildings, water system and
bath. Address ]. H. Bryant, Pendle-
ton, oregon.
Lost-Saturday in Alexander's
store, small gold watch, set with dia-
mond. monogram E. X. engraved on
front. Finder return to this office for
reward.
For sale-Reynolds' Automatic
Harvester Has only cut 100 acres.
Easy terms. Inquire os Pendleton
Iron Works. Marion JACK or s. C.
Bittner. Pendleton. Ore.
You can't burn slate and gravel!
Don't try 1t. Phone Dutch Henry,
Main 173, for clean screened Rock
Springs ccal-either lump or nut. 1t
burns clean and goes further.
For sale--Two hundred acres good
timber grazing land. about so acres
tillable, running water on place. This
is snap IL taken within next thirty
days. Address w. B.. Box 341, city.
New hydrants-Do away with your
old rod and stop-cocks and use the
antl-freezlng hydrants. Call and see
them at the Sanitary Plumbing shop,
S04 f. Court stret, Alex Burt. prop.
Wanted--A small furnished house
or three or four furnished housekeep-
ing rooms by man and wife and one
child. Inquire this office. Address
&C."
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-04-14
At THE PICTURE SHOWS
OrDlleuIrl.

Orpneum.
Pendleton's Favorite Picture The
ater Strong program for Fridays
change:
Two full reels of Biograph films,
one of Lubin, one of Essanay, four
full reels in all.
"Was He a Coward In this Bio
graph subject is shown the meaning
of real bravery. A young novelist
suffering from broken health goes
west and works on a ranch. OF
course he is made a butt of by the
boys, as they do with all tenderfeet
He is branded a coward when he fails
to resent their insults-but when the
dread disease of smallpox breaks out
he shows them what real bravery
means. This picture was taken on
one of the largest ranches.
2. "The Actress and the Singer"
Lubin. When a clever woman wants
man she'll find some way to cap
ture him.
3. The Faithful Indian" Essanay.
The story of an Indians devotion to
his white friend and how a rascally
set of claim jumpers are thwarted in
their attempt to rob the miner of a
valuable claim by the read mans
faithfulness.
4. The Passing of a Crouch" Bi-
ograph film. The crouch is conta-
gious in a well established fact for the
man with the crouch contaminates
those he comes in contact with. This
is a side splitting comedy with a good
climax.
5. THE Proposal" Biograph film.
When a man marries his trouble be-
gins" so the lines of the old song runs
but it did not impress Benz. Burns
when he proposed to a widow by let
ter. After mailing the letter he sees
married couple pass with a squawk-
ing baby and the man loaded with
bundles, his mind is at once changed.
He tries many ways to regain posses
sion of the letter and gives up in
despair, then rushes home to termi-
nate his existence. When he is saw
ed by the letter being returned to
the writer for bettr address.