Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-11-02
TAKING THE CURE.
Graphic Pen Picture Of Carlsbad
and Its 0yspeptics.
MUD BATHS AND VILE WATER

Tho Victims Drink Often and Drink
Deep and Absorb With tho Evil Brew
Large Doses Of Misery-An Un.
pleasant and Costly Road to Health.
A city shaped like cup. a cup con
tanning hot water. The sides Of the
city are clothed with pines. aud in the
hollow lie the waters where the dys
peptics of the world foregather to
drink and to be healed. They desire tc
be freed from excess of fat. from vel
low skins. from pains that catch one
in the small Of the back and from the
stiff joints that follow hard upon the
pleasures Of the too abundant board.
In Carlsbad you drink often and
drink deep. Drinking is your main
occupation. Your drinking glass is
strapped over your shoulders as you
wander, slipping from spring to spring
as assiduously as any one bee. but
you do not get honey.
Your misery begins at 6. At 6 o'clock
they call you, and you are expected to
be shaved and decent before you face
the world Of waters and Of miserable
sinners at Z o'clock. If you had not
been miserable sinner, too. you would
not be here. but you have done those
things you ought not to have done and
you have left undone those things you
ought to have done, and your penalty
is Carlsbad.
So you take your place at the end of
a queue 800 dyspeptics long and wish
you were dead. You very nearly are.
for no morning tea" sustains you: they
forbid that; it is strictly against the
law. You take your turn at the "Spru.
DER spring uncontrolled by the cook.
Everything contributes to your misery.
A German, close behind you is tread
ing on your heels and breathing loudly
down your neck, and gentleman in a
curious top hat is conducting an or
chestra with intent to make you merry.
He fails. You hate him. And every
moment you draw nearer to the "Spru-
del" spring. It leaps from the bowels
Of the earth toward the roof Of the
colonnade shrouded in its own steam.
and a girl in waterproof overalls
catches you glassful by means Of
long pole.
Then you retire to a corner with the
evil brew and try to drink it. 1t tastes
Of dead rats-hot ones, long dead. Your
character may be OWNED by your
method Of dealing with it. 1t may be
faced as one faces a pet beverage.
with an air." or it may be dallied with
In sips-or thrown away. 1t may beat
you altogether. but this is rare. The
hardened dyspeptic who does his year.
~ "cure" has a trick with a little glass
pipe. BE is initiated by the wise. Aft
er the first fell glass you hurry to the
little glass pipe stall and buy a little
glass pipe for your very own. and half
an hour later you brace yourself to-
gether for the second Dose If you
have sinned deeply you may be order.
ed even three. but probably you will
be let of with two goes of "Sprudel''
md one Of something lighter.
An hour afterward you may have
IN inadequate meal Of sour milk, one
,gg and browny roll that would baf
lie a dentist. During the morning you
will be required to undergo a bath.
possibly of mud. reeking with curative
and very expensive-as ex-
,ensive as the lunch you would like |
o have afterward If they would let
'ou. Even as 1t stands your mockery J.
# meal. fruit, rice and bit Of
'oiled bird climbs up to total hither-
o u1associated with such elementary
iencies. At 4 o'clock you drink
more water. At 10 the long day closes
Vith a final gulp, and the dinner inter-
ening is beneath the dignity Of words
of any words.
Sixty thousand of the sorrowful sub
ect themselves to these penalties year.
? every summer.
But in spite Of the 10000 you will
be a lonely soul in Carlsbad.
ts dietetic system does not make for
or mirth. But as the days