davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Our Grocery Clerk
Saws He Is In Bad

I'm in bad and deep. The boss Is In
a fair way to lose one Of his richest
customers, and he can't get the idea
out of his head that I put up the job.
II 1t had been a put-up job, I don't
deny that 1t wouldn't have been worthy
of my powers, but as It was 1t hap
pened to be another mistake Of that
miserable errand boy of ours.
Ever hear of old BY Wilsonf He's
got more money than he can count, but
he's a fussy sort of old chap, and he
does his own marketing. 1t seems he's
got an infant grandkid, or something,
and when he dropped in this mornins
he asked me to send something around
suitable for a baby. We sell cakes
and things Hike that, you know.
Well, the errand boy got a couple
of orders mixed and delivered four
cakes of soap at old man Wilson's
house. Suitable for q baby! Whew!
I'm explaining yet
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
MR.. PEEV PROTESTS

all summer. And where's that kid7 II
show him II he can go around here sit.
ting on hats! Where is hep
'D-don't whip Jackie, dear. It WASH,
his fault. He didn't see the hat, and he
was so sorry when he saw w-what he'd
done. I'd rather go without a new hat
than have the child whipped"
Nonsense, petty; is that the way to
train the boy? Let him go about stamp
ing on brand new hats and not say q
word to him because he looked sorry!
I'll thrash that kid; that's what I'll do.
I'll thrash that kidI
Pleads for Jackie
Please, J-John." pleaded Mrs.
Peeved. Il couldn't sleep all night II I
thought the boy"
Gee, ma" called Jackie from the
head of the front stairs, I'm awful
sorry I sat on your new hat. Think
pop'n fall for that, ma? 1 get that
quarter, whether he does or not, you
know"
Jackie" called his father, softly;
come here, I want you
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
1000 Fully Equipped Troop,
Arrive at Washinston

Official advices received from WASH
ington tonight show that 1000 northern
troops entered the capital at o'clock
yesterday afternoon, accompanied by an
abundant supply Of provisions. Perfect
security is now felt at Washington as
regards its defense in case of an attack.
1t is reported, on good authority,
that the Fayetteville arsenal at Ra-
leigh, N. c., has been surrendered by
the garrison 70 a force of $500 con-
federate troops under the command of
General Draughon, who was prepared
to take the place by storm IL neces-
sary. Thirty-seyen Thousand stands
of arms, 5000 pistols. 5000 kegs of
gunpowder and a large quantity of
cannon balls and shells fell into the
hands of the rebels.
All through Virginia and North
Carolina notices have been posted
warning residents whose sympathies
are with the union that they must
either take the oath of allegiance to
the confederacy or leave the state at
once. Great numb bers of families who
moved down there from the north
during the last few years are now
frantic efforts to return. but,
owing to the obstructed condition Of
the railroads, they are experiencing
difficulty in obtaining
means OF transportation for their
= bourAbnIS OooAz
The Washington times., 1911-04-27

What's the matter, petty?" inquired
Mr. Peeved. after he had hung his hat
on the halIrack. You're not crying,
are you?"
''N-no, JOHN" answered Mrs. Peeved,
dabbing at her eyes with -handker-
chief, lin all right. D-don't you
w-worry ab-bout me-
Come, now, petty" persisted Mr..
Peeved, astutely, something's up.
You're crying, tell you. Now, you just
tell me what's the matter"
Cause for Tears
''M-my new hat is spoiled-sp-spoiled." 4"
What? The hat l selected and you
didn't like?"
"Y-yes, but you told me I c-couldn't
have another, no matter If 1 s-set It
afire. And Jackie sat on II with all his
weight this afternoon, and now it's
spoiled, c-completely s-spoiled."
We'll, what If It is? I'm no brute,
petty, and I'll see that you get another,
.nomatter If 1 don't take another drink
No matter If have to wear my derby
The Washington times., 1911-04-27

but uh lot Nv time Guild be saved, es
far es seen, If dey'd make desc LAWYERS
cut out dere hot airin' an cum down tn
business. 1 wus 1es figurin' it out, jim
nie, an dere's uh awful lot uf good
money wasted thru de hot air Nv desc
fellers. Dere wus five udder cases
waitin, Jimmie, an not wun Nv dem
got tried, jes because of dem hot. air
blowers. Dey argued uver uh lot Nv
questions dat didn't do no good, den
went uver de same OIL thing uh dozen
times afore dey rests dere case. After
dat wus done, Jimmie, dey spends more
dan two hours tellin' de joory what dey
had already tor dem, and den de Judge
has uh say fur uh bout uh half hour.
Course, I amt no lawer, nur nuthin'
like dat, but 1t seems tu me, Jimmie,
dat de hull case Guild have been uver
IN uh hour widout all dat hot air, an
uh lot NV valuable time an money
wuld been saved by de job.
The Washington times., 1911-04-27

which I invented a name, but had
not, liked her so well as In an
other-and I firmly believe she in
vented the name she gave! What
could 1 do? Acknowledge that I
had lied to get ahead of her?
Fires Her Own Sex
I have not an idea that. what I
may say of the enthusiasm of dis
like with which she fires her own
sex Will cause the inside informa-
zionist to mend her prevaricating
ways. And know from experience
that women cannot get even with
her unless they eliminate every bit
of regard for truth from their fem
mime connections and become Sap
phiras. But there is one threat
that may be effectively brandished
at her. Men hate her. too. A nor
NAL man Is sufficiently self-appre-
ciative not to enjoy being chroni-
cally instructed by any Miss Know
all. She may walk over girls, but
she will not walk away with
man.
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Loretta's Looking Glass

= OBJECT to being a promenade
for another woman. II a man
walks over me, 1 can half de-
ceive myself into believing that I
am playing the interesting role of
martyr to the inhumanity of him.
But L cannot excuse or decorate my
service as sidewalk for woman.
1t is just an unmitigated indignity.
And the girl with inside infor-
nation" does 1t with the most per-
feet success
You may be talking about your
own eyetooth. with which you
have lately had the intimate and
painful ASSOCIATION that a tooth
ache cultivates, and she can give
you inside information about 1t.
The Laudanum Treatment
II you, in the frenzy of your
suffering, used laudanum, she tells
you a few points about the interior
of your tooth that demonstrates the
foolishness of the laudanum treat
ment. You may have discovered It
by the torturing testimony Of the
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
she HOLDS TT UP TO TEE
Girl With Inside Information

continued ache, but your knowledge
is as nothing with her inside infor-
nation.
always hated her. She made
me tell the biggest "whopper" 1
ever whopped. She goaded me to
It! And / always hate the ones
who show me how weak am. She
was as "stage-struck" as ]. And
she read all the dramatic notes in
the backs of the magazines, too.
But she had her inside informa-
ton! She aired some knowledge
about an actress never heard. She
aired some more. The ignorant and
submerged rest Of US sat on the steps
and submitted gracefully to her
superior wisdom. It became unbear-
able. without an atom Of conpunc-
tion, I said I had seen the actress
In q play for which I shamelessly
invented a name. I glowed with a
now I-triumph air. The others looked
more cheerful But do you think the
girl with inside information was sup
She calmly asserted that she
had seen the actress In the play for
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Reddy Smith On
Being a Witness

Bein uh important witness in de troll
ly accident Nv de udder day, Jimmie,
wus up tn de criminal court dis morn
in, an now I'm jes gittin' back
Course l didn't care much how long
dey'd uh kept me, s'long's dey pays
ma daily earnins like tdey did tn day,
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Kentucky and Ohio Governors
Aaree ON Neutrality

1t is stated hat the governors of
Kentucky and Ohio have entered into
an agreement whereby no acts of ag-
gression will probably be committed
on the borders Of either during the
present excitement.
More than one hundred secession
lists from Kentucky are reported to
have been stoned in Cincinnati, but
It is said that none was hurt.
The Richmond police institute q
vigorous search for Richard Smith. a
free negro who was caught several
days ago with a number of letters on
his person indicating that he was
carrying on extensive correspondence
with the north. He was ordered to
leave for other parts. but 1t is re-
ported that he is still lurking in the
city. II caught, he will probably be
severely dealt with.
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
The Southern View
ApriI II, 1851 Saturday. b.

New Orleans dispatches say that the
war fever Is raging there as 1t Is
also In other parts of the state, and
in other cities and towns in neigh
boring states. Business is well-nigh
suspended There are few ships In
port. and these get high figures for
frefchts. especially British bottoms.
which have the preference
President Davis and General Beaure-
gard, it is reported, are prepared to
enter Washington so soon as Vir-
ginia is ready to render the necessary
assistance
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
The Northern View
April ~, 1881 Saturday

Acting under orders from the presi-
dent of the United States an expedition
Of Illinois volunteers crossed over to
st. Louis last night and advanced upon
the federal arsenal, which had been
seized by the confederate sympathizers.
overpowering the guard and bringing
away an immense store of ammunition,
artillery and small arms which had
been stored there by the government
Twenty-one thousand stands OF arms
and park of artillery were recovered.
which were removed to Springfield for
safe keeping
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Government Takes Possessioa OF
Rsilroads and TeIesrsph Lines

Communication between Annapolis
and Washington Is not yet opened
Troops have gone across, but they
were compelled to march the entire
distance. 1t was expected that q
train would run to and from the juno
tion, but up until the present time no
effort has been made to open the road
to traffic.
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Light, on Virginia Shores
Removed by Authorities

The federal troops at Fort Monroe
are supposed to be fortifying the Rip
Raps, an unfinished fqrtincation
nearly opposite, and in the mouth OF
the entrance to Hampton Roads.
Lights on the Virginia shore of the
Chesapeake bay are being removed or
extinguished by order of the Virginia
authorities, 1t Is supposed. From a
reliable source, 1t is learned in Rich
mond that a complete blockade of the
bay has been established, and that
the officers in command of Fort Mon
roe are stopping all vessels bound
up the river, three vessels having
been seized that were loaded for Pet
ersburg and Richmond One loaded
with salt was sent to Norfolk. while
the other two loaded with provisions
were sent 70 New YOrk.
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
What He Didn't Miss

How do you like this grand opera,
Bill?"
Il can't understand what they are
saying"
That's all right. You amt missing
no jokes"
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY
From an advt.:

From an advt.:
while the seal is on the bottle, the
collar round the neck, the cork with
IS brandt inside and the capsule over
that, you are absolutely SAFE
Are we to understand that 1t is when
the bottle is opened that the danger
begins Punch.
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Preponderance of Evidence

Preponderance of Evidence
Sorry" said the constable, but I'll
have to arrest ye-ye've bin drivin'
along at the rate OF fifty miles an
hour"
You are wrong. my friend" said the
driver. I say 1 wasn't and here's a
$40 bill that says 1 wasn't"
"All right" returned the constable.
pocketing the money. with Ii to /
against me 1 amt goin' to subject the
county to tn explnse of a trial"
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Afraid of a Smash
Close With a Dash

Helmet hat
Dangling curl
Skin tight skirt
Pretty girl.
Eyes Of blue
Skin like milk
Velvet shoes
Socks Of silk.
But her dad
Says "Oh, well,
She's the goods
And costs like
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
He Wanted His Ring;
Or, She Was Wrong
(Daily Shortest stoTy)

"welI?" he said And that was An
he said; but the well was deep.
There Is your ring"
She spoke coldly, though the night
was not warm.
He laughed several cruel, sardonic
laughs, SO close together Chat instead
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Must Be Happy

DO you think they're happily mar
ried?"
No question of 1t. He still let's hor
select his clothing"
The Washington times., 1911-04-27

IFTY years ago began the memorable struggle
between the north and south known generally as
the civil war.
Old newspapers of both northern and southern
cities published during that stirring period have
been searched and the and current re-
Election of public sentiment presented from
day to day they appeared in each section at
that time.
From the southland the dispatches are taken
directly from the files of an old time newspaper of
Richmond Va, and from the north the news is
drawn from several sources, including files of old
of the larger cities.
The Washington times., 1911-04-27

Of sardonic they were almost sardineic.
'I want two rings" he said.
The man wanted two rings!
"One ring" she told him evenly, 'is
all that Is coming to you. I did not
mean to be slangy."
No" he cried. This is a two-party
wire, and my signal is two rings"
So the operator gave him two rings.
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Not Cruel to the World

IT am going to give up the world"
Are your
"Yes. 1t has treated me cruelty"
Then you believe in itT''
In whatT'
Returning good for evil"
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
WHEN NOAH WAS A BOY

His oldest sister tried to start a new
fad, and instead Of chaining a pet
chameleon on her well-varnished hair
she tried to introduce a baby elephant
to polite society. But the elephant be-
came festive, and trod on one of her
toes, which. you must admit, caused
pain even to a wooden foot.
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Can't Afford Them

ANY children in this house?"
"Children?'
Yes. 1 am taking the school CEN
sus"
Dear me, no. We can't take the
proper care of. our dear little doggies,
to say nothing of children"
The Washington times., 1911-04-27

with kilograms anything else that makes life
and foolish The difference between
fame Belle is the absence of feeln' O. modesty.
Ii Begins With the Babies
kid chalk his a nice clean wall
big ony little notoriety
times they youngern that bet these babies that quan
murder all night long when they're that it's really
awake ony do it for the They
surely can't enjoy it, Belle.
It's babies like that into that fast thirty daysto
really
the readin public Just think of Bele
thirty whole days of stomach The
they could enjoy the notoety afterwards.
O. and notoriety because it's
for the business and people much enjoyment hearn
tell the van Spare but cheld" if
from the been married times divorced five
and widowed So, Belle whenever hear of
getn
that they love each other the less it's that they
notoriety.
"Dearie" say husban we'll have
500
And the day the papersl be full of how Mrs Patrick
Sothen for divorce grounds of Indigestion
after that the theyter be packed with fashnab and
audience. And the aess be fonder
than for bein' so nice about it. st-.<
The Washington times., 1911-04-27
Take One After
Each and Every Meal
EVIDENCE

He likes the sound Of his own
voice"
Has an ear for noise, I suppose."
The Washington times., 1911-04-27

DON'T b1ieve the Mexicans are really mad at each
other, Belle; they're too lazy to stay mad this long
blieve they're just ghtin to get little notorety
l bet if somepn' big would happen-four
wealthy society women have twins, fr instance, or
Rockefeller and the brewers trust be discovered
aduteratin' the seasons book beer with standard
oil-so's the papers could fill in the space devoted
to battles the United States border with some
pin else, why, the Mexican ward be over in
week.
The world would be dreary sort of place
The Washington times., 1911-04-27

safe keeping.
The Parker post., 1911-07-01
A SAVINGS BANK ON WHEELS
Paterson, NJ. j., Has Novelty in
Shape of Auto Bank, Fire, Bull
let and Burglar Proof.

Paterson, N. 1.-THE city of Pater-
son now has bank on wheels 1t is
fre-proof bullet-proof and burglar
proof, and can travel so miles an hour
when being chased by would-be loot
ers. This auto-bank is expected to
revolutionize the banking business
especially in the outlying districts
The car is fitted up with desks and
compartments for books, checks and
papers A solid steel safe is in one
corner of the machine. A small win
dow guarded with heavy steel and
brass bars and liberal supply of fire
arms. afford the clerks protection from
'hold-up" men.
Officers of the trust company are
of the opinion that the sending of tie
bank" through the country will be
welcomed by depositors, especially
those who have no place for keeping
cash or other valuables in their homes
or business places.
The Parker post., 1911-07-01
MINE WARNING NOTICE.

10 WnOm IL May concern
Notice is hereby given that the
Black Metallic, Black Metallic No. l.,
Black Metallic No. 2, Ohio, Iron Cap,
Independence, Last Chance, Della,
Mammoth Copper, Mammoth Copper
No. 1, Mammoth Copper No. 2, Nam
moth Copper No. 3, Annabell, Flag
staff, Champion, Champion No. 1,
Champion No. 2, Big Horn, Big Horn
No. L, Big Horn No. 2, Big Horn No.
8, Big Horn No. 4, Big Horn No. 5,
North Star, Excelsior, Cholla, Bessie,
Hope, Orc Fino, White Rock, and
Golden Reef mining claims, situated
in the Plomosa Mining District, Yu-
ma county, Arizona, and which said
mines and mining claims are the
property of the Excelsior Gold and
bond to parties working the same.
and that neither the mines, machinery
or owners thereof, will be responsible
for any labor or debt contracted, nor
injuries sustained by any employee or
employer in working said properties;
and that no employer or employee is
the agent of the owners for any pur
pose, and that all operatives engage
in such service at their own risk, and
that no debt or claim of debt is valid
against said mining claims or their
owners.
THE EXCELSIOR GOLD AND COP
PER MINING COMPANY.
By GUSTAVE MUDERSBACH,
President
Dated: Bouse. Arizona, August II,
1910
The Parker post., 1911-07-01
FORFEITURE NOTICE.

10 Jack GaynOr, Vicksburg, Arizona.
You are hereby notified that !
have expended during the year 1910
Five Hundred Dollars ($50O) in la
Dor and improvements upon the fol
lowing named mining claims, to-Wit:
The Raymond mining claim, the To-
cation notice of which is found of
record in Book R, of mines at page
206.
The Japan mining claim, the loca-
tion notice of which is found of rec
ord in Book R, of mines at page 208.
The Troy mining claim, the loca-
ton notice of which is found of rec
ord in Book r, of mines at page 207
The Big Horn mining claim, the
location notice of which is of
record in Book R, of mines at page
1852
The Queen Bee mining claim, the
location notice Of which is of
record in Book r, of mines at page
163
Said records being in the office of
the County Recorder of Yuma Coun-
ty, Territory of Arizona.
Said work and improvements were
done in order to hold said claims un-
der the provisions of section 1924 of
the Revised Statutes of the United
States, and the amendment thereto
approved January %, 1880, concern
ing annual labor upon mining claims.
Said sum of Five Hundred Dollars
($50O) being the amount required to
hold said lodes for the period ending
on the 31st day of December, A. d.
1910.
And if, within ninety days 900
from the personal service of this no.
tice, you fail or refuse to contribute
your proportion of such expenditure
as a co-owner, which amounts to
($250), your interest in the claims
will become the property of the sub
scriber, your co-owner, who has made
the required expenditure, by the
terms of said section.
THOMAS, P. QUINN.
Witness: G. D. CHAMBERLIN.
Territory of Arizona, County of Yu
mass.
Thos P. Quinn, being duly sworn,
deposes and saith, that he served the
within forfeiture notice upon Jack
Gaynor, the delinquent co-owner
therein named, upon the 18th day of
May, A. D. 1911, by delivering and
registering a letter with true copy
of this notice in it, to the postmaster
at Bouse, Arizona, to be forwarded
to Vicksburg, Arizona, the postoffice
address of the said Jack Gaynor
THOMAS p. QUINN.
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this 18th day of May, 1911.
G. ID. CHAMBERLAIN.
Justice of the Peace, BOuse Pre-
cinct, No. 10.
Territory of Arizona County of Yu-
Thomas p Quinn being duly
sworn, deposes and says that he is
citizen of the United States and
more than 21 years of age, resides at
Swansea. Yuma County, Arizona Ter
ritory, and is personally acquainted
The Parker post., 1911-07-01
BULL TERRIER FIGHTS BULL
After a Furious Battle Both Succumh
to Wounds, but the Bull
Dies First.

New York.-A fight to the death be-
tween a thoroughbred English bull
terrier and a Holstein bull took place
at the stock farm of Eben Grover, at
New Durham, N. ]. The dog was a
perfect specimen Of the breed and
was valued at $3.50. 1t took a dislike
to the bull, a $1,5O0 animal, immedi-
ately after the latter was brought to
the farm. The other night the bun
was placed in a large box stall. When
an employee opened the door the dog
slipped in and in two seconds the bat
tie was on.
The dog whirled about the stall
with lightning speed, leaping at the
bulls throat with swapping teeth.
Twice the dog was pinned against the
wall of the stall by the horns of the
brute, but finally by quick spring
sank it's teeth in the throat of the
bull. The great animal, roaring with
pain, swung the little dog about and
dashed it's body against the walls, but
it would not let go.
The battle had ragged for an hour
and Grover, with his sons, had en-.
tered the stall twice at the peril of
their lives when the huge bull sank
to his knees and toppled over dead.
The dog, loosening it's hold for the
first time, limped into a corner of the
stall and died within a few minutes
Growers right leg was badly torn by
the dogs teeth.
The Parker post., 1911-07-01

with the mining claims known as
the Japan, the Troy, the Big Horn,
the Raymond and the Queen Bee,
the location notices of which are re-
corded in the office of the County
Recorder of Yuma County, viz:
The Raymond, in Book R, Record
Of Mines, Page 206.
The Japan, in Book R, Record Of
Mines, Page 208.
The Troy, in Book R, Record of
Mines, Page 207
The Big Horn, in Book R, Record
OF Mines, Page 1852.
The Queen Bee, in Book R, Record
of Mines, Page 163.
That between the twenty-first day
of October A. D. 1910, and the TWEEN
ty-seventh day of April, 1911, at least
five hundred dollars worth of work
and improvements were done and
performed upon said claims, not in
Guiding the location work of said
claims. Such work and improve
ments were made by and at the ex
pense of Thomas P. Quinn, co-own-
er, for the purpose of complying with
the laws of the United States per-
tanning to assessments of annual
work, said work and improvements
being as follows, to-wit:
On the Raymond claim: Stripping
ledge IL tunnel and wash, $3.50; on
the Japan claim: Open cut, $75.;
on the Troy claim: Shaft work, $50.
on the Big Horn claim: Shaft work,
$75.; on the Queen Bee claim: Open
cut, $50; total, $500.
THOS. P. QUINN.
Subscribed and sworn to before
me this twenty-fifth day of May A.
ID. 1911.
VIM. C.. MEEK.
Justice of the Peace, Swansea Dis,
18th Precinct.
(First publication June 10, 1917