davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

You can not found an enduring re-
public among an ignorant and indiifer-
ent people. Seventeen only out OF
every 100 MeIicans can read or write.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

New York City has finally decided
to tear up all it's horse-car lines. May.
be the old town will be having elec-
trio lights and telephones one of these
days,
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Nine hundred thousand books are
being moved into New York's new
library. and April bree2es may remove
the dust which Manhattan's citizens
allow TO gather on the classics.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Second impressions are very likely
to be more correct and just than first
ones. Considering this fact, wouldn't
it be safer to have only second impress
sions?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Champ Clark has no time for the
automobile. Nothing like being one OF
the common people The trouble with
the most OF them is that they have
neither time or money for one.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

About 10000 people attended the
first league ball games. Our people
are still firmly supporting the bull
warks of national greatness.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

sador Hill resigned. Perhaps he is
tired of having American tourists ask
him to 10 down to the station and
help get their luggage on.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A fad prevails among the fashion.
able women Of Berlin for having their
portraits painted while they sleep.
Most Of us look stupid enough awake,
let alone our sleeping expression, or
lack of it Besides, what II a snore
should be transferred to the canvas?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Pittsburg again appears in the same
old role but with q brand new scan.
dal. Once more the smoky city is
hunting out the grafters--for which
due honor ought to be given to it.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The senate will get around to vote
on reciprocity by the time 1t is too hot
in Washington to attend the ball
games in comfort.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The amount of land which is being
drained and reclaimed in Florida un.
der the Broward plan is equal in area
to Rhode Island, Connecticut and Del.
aware combined.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Carter Harrison's boom for the pres.
idency is the smallest one TO be found
on the political horizon with the eI'
ception OF the one launched for Vice
President Sherman.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The trade reports say the volume
OF business is below producing ca
pacity. Like the rest OF us. Uncle Sam
hates to dig in the garden when the
fish begin TO bite.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

1t takes brave man to meet an
increasing waist line without pro
test, and one must cultivate christian
resignation to accept gray hairs in a
proper spirit.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Reciprocity seems likely to pass,
and business men along the border
can deliver goods by train instead OF
through the woods on dark nights.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Some men who are as deaf as post
when spoken to about charity could
hear a whisper IL asked to take a
drink.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

II the democrats have put the pro-
ducts of democratic districts on their
farmers free list, We have yet to find
out about it.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The American boys who have been
brought up on Patrick Henry's pa.
triotic speeches will be interested to
learn that a bronze tablet in memory
Of the eloquent orator has been placed
In st. Johns church, Richmon where
his famous Liberty or Death" speech
was delivered.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The airship Parseyal landed in a
swamp over in Germany, Friday, and
the passengers must have been glad
for good squshy place to jump into.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

It is said the acts OF congress on
March 4 may be illegal. But the su-
preme court says most Of their acts
are illegal. anyway.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

One OF the Camorrists on trial pick.
ed out his glass eye and threw it on
the floor. This must have been an
eye-opener.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A news item says the elk have suf-
fered from the frosts of winter. The
elks that We are acquainted with seem
to have come through in fine shape.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Poet Laureate Austin is having trou-
BILE finding anything to rhyme with
George the Fifth. He might try Smith,
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Fishers appointment to the cabinet
was not due wholly to his interest in
conservation. He is a golf enthusiast.
also.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The plague in China is increasing
in its power and extent. Bodies are
being burned by the thousand.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The Illinois house increase their
pay from $4,000 to s3,5eO. They have
got to have some way of living be-
tween senatorial elections.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Jack johnson has bought an aero
plane, and now we will see II the po'
lice can stop those black rockets.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Swat the ry and make the world
healthier.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

About every man in Mexico appears
to be an insurgent against the idef
OF having anyone else run things.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

II is said that fishes yawn. Is II any
wonder, when they look at the fisher.
men?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The baseball umpire's troubles have
once more commenced, and they are
not imaginary ones, either.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

II you don't deliberately do lot OF
things YOU know you will be sorry for
afterward, you are a most unusual
person.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Spain and France are to cooperate
in Morocco. Goodbye, Morocco, your
time has come.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

According TO farm boy, II there
we're some way Of lodging the chores,
the rest OF the work wouldn't amount
TO much
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

What has become OF the O. I. collar
that used to invite mans necktie to
ride up to the top, all the way around
his neck?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

II your neighbors got up extra early
yesterday morning, IL was because
those fifteen thresher engines blew
their whistles at Z a. IN.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A big man driving a Shetland pony
may be very kind to the animal but
he always looks like he is imposing
on II.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Why wasn't the human animal con
structed with a disposition TO 20 to
bed early and get up early. as he
should?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Some men so TO extremes; not con
tent with making pimple seem II
boil. they figure out that II must be
o cancer.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

so much more pleasant than child
hood was when you lived II at close
range.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

As satorial suggestion, II may be
said that the derby hat was never
intended to be worn with overalls.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

II will soon be open season for dan
delions.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

eyes. II is so natural TO exaggerate
ones ailments that the average per.
son, having his eyes tested, tells the
doctor that he can't see letters on the
chart which, in reality, he can see as
plain as day. Maybe the eye doctors
are on, and allow for that.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

No. hold on. Twentyfour more
hours is granted before the plant
ing, in order TO give one more chance
for surrender. (We'd like just one
more golf game--one more chance TO
come back.)
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

What Mexico needs is not more rev
olutions but more schoolhouses.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

II woman can't think of anything
else in favor OF her child, she will tell
how good il is about taking medicine
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

What's become OF the old fashioned
girl who stuck gum under the dining
room table during meal time?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Some men meet an appointment
ahead OF time so they can loaf a few
minutes before the other man arrives
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A farmer, If his farm pays divi'
dends, doesn't have a great deal OF
time to devote to the fish industry.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A year ago now We were all dippy
over what was going TO happen, and
what wasn't going TO happen, at Reno,
All wrong too.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Another sign of spring: The sum
mer parasol has appeared.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

What has become Of the oldfash-
ioned mother who worried good deal
for fear gypsies would kidnap her
children?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

At least one woman had burning
desire to attend the Woman's club
convention.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

And what's become OF the o. (. man
who used to put curling wax on his
moustache?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A golf stick is better medicine fol
a cold than typewriter, anyhow.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Won't there ever be opportunity to
bring this confounded Furnace Coll
season to a formal close?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28
How's the new tree doing?

Another sign that spring is here:
Mr.. Brown has left the automatic tele-
phone company's employ and Mr.. Vic.
let has taken his place. When brown
goes and violet comes, it's sign
that simply cannot be overlooked.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Personally. we had been up so long
by that time that we thought IL must
be the signal for dinner.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

One trouble about smiling when
Everything goes wrong is that molly
coddle is nearly always imposed upon
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

When a young girl marries an ole
man. she doesn't worry much about
the old mans health unless 1t Is good
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Got your May baskets ready? Please
put candy in ours.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

And incidentally, can you tell what
happens TO the whiskers underneath
while the cold sore holds the fort?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Not many more days for you, Oh
you oyster.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

No one who spends much time In
them ever seems to have good word
| to say for the American jails.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28
AROUND TOWN.

You can plant us. That C is
still hanging around. And the only
way to get rid of cold is to kill
the patient.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

You get so little money of all kinds,
that the chance of accepting a couD.
terfeit needn't worry you much.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

In fact, what's become of the O. T.
moustache that was long enough to
reach clear to the bottom OF a cup OF
coffee?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Statesmen, unfortunately, are not
the only ones who think the only way
70 insure peace is to fight for IT,
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

We don't see how eye doctors ever
get at the true condition OF peoples
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

ness of having done their utmost for
humanity.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

There's this advantage about living
in the same town with ones father;
When your supply of six dozen hand
kerchiefs Is exhausted in six days, you
can fall back on fathers supply for
the seventh day, until your own have
gone through the washtub.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

This notice is given far enough ir
advance that there need be no mis-
understanding.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The hobble skirt goeth before a fall
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

People hate motorcycles so much
they never see one without accusing
it OF exceeding the speed limit.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

One ought to be cheerful, OF course,
but there is such a thing as being too
noisy about it.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

eyes. II is so natural TO exaggerate
ones ailments that the average per.
son, having his eyes tested, tells the
doctor that he can't see letters on the
chart which, in reality he can see as
plain as day. Maybe the eye doctors
are on, and allow for that
What has become OF the O. I. collar
that used TO invite a mans necktie to
ride up to the top, all the way around
his neck?
Not many more days for you. Oh
you oyster.
At least one woman had burning
desire TO attend the Woman's club
II your neighbors got up extra early
yesterday morning, IL was because
those fifteen thresher engines blew
their whistles at a. IN.
Personally, we had been up so long
by that time that we thought II must
be the signal for dinner.
ATcHIsoN GLOBE SIGHTS.
There are plenty of good stepmoth-
ers. but can they prove It?
Most men who have made failures
were failures before they started
Soda water fuses around a good
deal without accomplishing much.
If friend does you a favor get out
OF his debt just as soon as possible
An old.fashioned woman's idea OF
shiftlessness is to buy canned soup.
Some men always know what to do
a few minutes after it is too late to
do it.
A boy is not necessarily in deep
thought because he scratches his
head
So many schemes that look all right
when they are new, don't wear very
we'll
II healthy boy walks down stairs,
il Is a sign that the stairs have no
banister.
Girls don't want a home OF their
own as much as they want to get
married
Considering the amount OF noise it
makes a gasoline engine accomplishes
good deal.
And there are men who don't go
ahead very fast, even after they are
sure they are right.
When boy gets his first sweater,
he cant help feeling that he is good
deal Of an athlete.
You are sure enough good fellow
IL you can enthuse when there isn't
anything in it for you.
When a man needs a shave, he
seems to need it more than he ever
needed anything else.
Who started the cry that country.
cured ham is so much superior to the
packing house product?
A man buys patent cigar lighter
to show his superiority, rather than
TO save time or matches.
The sort of fame which is thrust
upon a man. is usually recognized at
about its actual value.
| Men who have escaped being caught
are always little chesty in the mat
ter OF assumed morals.
| On the other hand. Lent won't heir
you much if you try to make up foI
lost time after it is over.
What has become OF the old-fash
ioned man who had never known 6
sick day" in his life?
| The drummer may ge good musi
clan, but he can't expect people tc
ask him to play solos.
1t takes winter a long time to Civ.
up the fruit buds and let the worm.
have chance at them.
In boys ball team, nearly every
player secretly believes he is entitled
to fill the pitchers box.
One ought to be cheerful, Of course
but there is such thing as being tot
noisy about it.
Some men spend more time gettin,
ready TO work than they spend work
ing after they get started.
People hate motorcycles so mucl
| l.A
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Well never forget the one we got
Ia year ago-and NEVER, NEVER
will forget the candy that was in it.,
We tried for six months afterward to
forget Ii; but failed
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Some men spend more time getting
ready TO work than they spend work
ing after they get started.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Everyone is asking why Ambas.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

You can't blame the dogs for going
to a dog show, but it would seem that
people could find something more
amusing.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

In a boys ball team, nearly every
player secretly believes he is entitled
to fill the pitchers box.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

On the other hand, Lent won't help
you much if you try to make up for
lost time after il is over.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

1t takes winter long time to Civ,
up the fruit buds and let the worm.
have chance at them.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28
ArcHIsoN GLOBE SIGHTS.

There are plenty of good stepmoth.
ers, but can they prove It?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

If you are feeling dowp-hearted, tell
your sad story to a fat man, and get
him TO crying about it, II the tears
rolling down his vast eXpanse OF
cheek fail TO make you laugh, You
know where the river is.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The drummer may ge a good musi
clan, but he can't expect people tc
ask him to play solos.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Recollections OF childhood are Otter
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

What has become OF the old-fash
ioned man who had never known
sick day" in his life?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

While we sigh for excitement occa-
sionally, news Of a new straight away
record in an automobile can't satisfy
the craving.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

WHEN:
will the Union Pacific keep its
promise to build that new Norfolk de-
pot?
will Norfolk get hospital?
will Mrs. Hoxsey arrive at Atkin-
son?
will the supreme court hand down
the sugar and tobacco trust decisions ?
will Mellette county open?
will we get more paving?
"a bogey score be made?
that grass seed come up?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

There is also the fool who thinks he
can get across a grade crossing eigb-
teen inches ahead OF locomotive;
and he frequently stays there, dis
tributed in wild profusion up and
down the right-of-way.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

II you ever have had cold sore the
size OF a nickel on your chin, you
know that it requires skill TO fine
degree, to shave around it.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Soda water fuses around a good
deal without accomplishing much.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A man who usually is late getting
to work in the morning is the employe
most likely 10 watch the clock tor
quitting time.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

If friend does you a favor get out
OF his debt just as soon as possible
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

But what's the use of making a bo-
gey score this year. anyhow? There's
no $40 hung up.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Men who have escaped being caugh
are always little. chesty in the mat
ter of assumed morals.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A man isn't necessarily disagreeable
just because he doesn't happen to
agree with you; it is when he insists
on dwelling Oh that fact that the new
spring styles in fits are thrown.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Most men who have made failures
were failures before they started.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

The sort of fame which is thrus
upon man. is usually recognized a
about its actual value.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

An oldfashioned woman's idea OF
shiftlessness is to buy canned soup.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Norfolk is getting to be some con.
vention burg. With 400 threshermen
from all over Nebraska and l25 Wo.
mems club women from this district.
there1l be things doing during the
coming week. In fact, hardly Week
goes by nowadays but that there's
some convention in town, and we're
getting more and more all the while.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

man buys a patent cigar lighter
to show his superiority, rather than
TO save time or matches.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Regardless of the regulations OF the
pure food law, one continues to get
about the usual amount OF strawber-
ries for a quarter.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A dead hero may not appreciate
your devotion at his shrine, but he
has the advantage over the live one in
that there is less likelihood Of the
tune changing.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

If might prevailed as they say it
used to in the world, and as some
insist it does now, it would be impos-
sible for hundred-pound woman to
boss a two hundred pound man.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A woman's idea Of real drouth
sufferer is herself when the cistern
goes dry on the day she has planned
TO wash her head.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

While it is difficult to beat the law
Of gravity, you may have observed
that the cost OF live hogs falls good
deal faster than the cost Of breakfast
bacon.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Another advantage the woman
possesses is that she doesn't have 70
join the Uniform Rank to get license
to wear willow plume
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Some men always know what to do
a few minutes after it is too late TO
do it.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

However there is less wear and tear
in keeping your nose on the grind
stone than in pressing the panels of
the primrose bath.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Who started the cry that country
cured ham is SO much superior to tn
packing house product?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

When children are willing father
should marry again after mother dies,
it is a sign they don't like to have
him around, and think be needs some
one to take care Of him.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Every salesman, who works on a
salary, likes to impress you with the
notion that he could do much better
on a commission basis.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

While a barber charges a good deal
for shaving corpse, one must con-
slider the fact that he can't carry on a
conversation with such customer
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A man who marries one girl simply
because another girl Of his choice re
fused him, certainly believes in get
ting revenge-on himself.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

A boy is not necessarily in deep
thought because he scratches his
head
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

When a man needs a shave, he
needed anything else.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

You are sure enough good fellow
il you can enthuse when there isn't
anything in it for you.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

And there are men who don't go
ahead very fast, even after they are
sure they are right.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

When a boy gets his first sweater,
he cant help feeling that he is good
deal Of an athlete.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

Girls don't want home OF their
own as much as they want to get
married
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

makes gasoline engine accomplishes
a good deal
The Washington herald., 1911-04-20
FOURTH OF JULY
PLANS ARE LAID
Committee of Business Men
Prepares Programme.

If the plans of the joint committee OF
the Chamber of Commerce and Board
of Trade materialize, Washington will
be favored with the most elaborate safe
and sane Fourth in the history of the
city.
Provided $500, the amount required
to finance the celebration, is raised, one
of the features will be an aeroplane ex-
hibit. The Aero Club has accepted the
offer to participate, If plans are sue
cessfully carried out.
Last year the amount required, $780,
was easily raised. The contributors to
that celebration will be invited to repeat
their donations, and numbers of new
names have been added. Letters already
have been sent out.
1t is requested that contributions be
sent to George w. White, treasurer of
the committee in charge of the celebra-
ton, at the National Metropolitan Bank
Reports Heard To-day. =
A conference of the committee will be
held in the offices of Commissioner Ru-
dolph, chairman of the committee. this
morning at IL o'clock. Reports will
be read by the committee chairmen.
and the programme outlined. Reports
will be submitted by tine following COM
mittees: Finance. E. c. Graham; exer-