The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1911-01-20
The Friendly
Critic


When jerks returned to the office
after visit to the tonsorial parlor he
was in happy frame OF mind For
two weeks he had been urged to get his
hair cut. The entreaties finally took
the form of command and it really
looked as though there might be per-
sonal damage If jerks didn't acquiesce
and let the barber trim the mat down
to reasonable proportions
They will go into OBSTACLES of de-
light now. dare say" muttered jerks.
"Theve won. The hair is cut and they
can see for themselves.
jerks. your Intentions were fine"
the head bookkeeper remarked. but
in the name of Mike. who is your
barber?"
"One OF the best In town." jerks
replied. HE charges IS cents for his
haircuts, and he has had world of
experience"
Why didn't he finish the job!" tho
credit man asked.
He gave me q haircut, didn't he?"
jerks replied, doggedly.
There is no doubt that he started
something" the head bookkeeper
broke in. WAS he in a hurry"
mo, he wasn't In hurry"
THE haircut appears all right ts
me-" the credit mans stenographer
interrupted, except that the sides
don't balance"
"Why don't they balance" jerks
asked.
THE right side is longer than the
left side"
THE sides are all right" the head
bookkeeper broke in.
Indeed" jerks retorted. 81 was
under the impression that one of them
was left"
II mean that the sides are even,"
the head bookkeeper returned They
might appear to be uneven. but that's
an optical illusion. You kind O. hang
down on one side. anyway"
II note that the barber shaved
the back Of your neck" the credit man
said.
is that what you call it," the ste
nographer asked Il thought that he
had shaved the back of his head"
You know l appreciate these criti
cisms." jerks said. "but you have my
permission to saw of at any time.
The haircut suits me"
That's because you feel it. and
don't see it.
81 can look at 1t If l want to-" ex
claimed jerks.
But don't do it. old man; for the
peace Of your mind. don't do 1t. Think
of us-we have to look at it."
In New York. you know" the
credit man resumed, "a first class
barber never shaves a mans neck
unless he has a Hick In the chair
and wants to entertain the other
BARRIERS. Why, any man who would
walk down Broadway with his neck
shaved would be arrested for melting
q riot"
When the noon hour arrived, jerks
sneaked over to the barber shop and
began q cross-examination.
What do you think of this hair
cut?"
"A fine haircut" the barber said
rs 1t cut even?"
II belong to the union; you don't
think I'd cut it uneven, do your"
do you think you should have
shaved that neck?"
Shaved your neck! What did you
want me to do-cut your hair and
leave a bunch of corn silks on the
back of your neck for the COWS to
play with
II never thought Of that. but the
gang over there says they don't
shave 'em In New York"
Don't worry about the way they do
things in New York. Let me tell you
something (the barber grew confiden-
tial and spoke in whispered tones) the
ginks around here that tell you about
the way they do things in New York
never saw New York except on the
railroad map. They get their style
charts from De Soto, Mo-, For
get it.
That's an example of the power Of
suggestion" the barber remarked, aft
er jerks had departed. Them same
guys, you know, make well-meaning
citizens throw away new nve-dollar
hats. Ever have crowd of EN- d.
agnose boil on the back of your
neck? They'll have you thinking that
the bolts goin' to break on the In
side and cause death by blood poi
soning before you can telephone the
police. On the level. they do"