davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
TROUBLE BEGAN ONCE MORE
Husband and Wife, Who Had Just
Made Up After Quarrel, Start
Again Over Her Shoes.

MY DEAR" said wife to her hus-
oand. Il know that | am dreadfully
cross with you at times. that am not
patient as ! should be. and think the
same can be said Of you"
Yes. certainly" he frankly &C
knowledged. Il am almost as bad as
you are"
Whats that?"
II say that am Just as much to
blame as you are"
II think" went on the lady. that
we ought to cultivate mutual toler.
alton Of each others faults" and she
bent over him and fondly kissed him
"You are not looking well tonight
dear he said, stroking her hair.
NO" she replied. my feet pain
me dreadfully."
That's because you wear shoes two
sizes too small for you
Then the trouble began once more
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
SHE uElERsToOD The GAVE
One Better Way of Finding Out II
Man Loves You Than Putting
chestnuts on Hot Stove.

1t was the dreamy hour after the
Christmas dinner, and the girls were
talking in the hushed tones appropri-
ate to the occasion.
I've Just heard of new charm to
tell whether any one loves you. and
If so. who Il u.s." whispered Elsie
What is it?" queried Sophie, alb
sently lingering her new diamond
ring
We'll. you take four or five chest
nuts. name each one OF them after
some man you know and then put
them on the stove and the first one
that pops is the one that loves you.
HIM" said Sophie. 81 know bet.
ter way that that"
do your"
Yes. indeed By my plan you take
one particular man. place him on the
sofa in the parlor. sit close to him
with the light little low, and look
into his eyes, And then. If he doesn't
pop you'll know It's time to change
the man on the sofa"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07


Kid Mccoy, the hero OF 125 battles,
is to open a sanitarium at Stamford.
He said the other day to a New York
reporter:
Il hope in my sanitarium to restore
lots OF grumpy middle-aged people to
perfect health, and If give them back
perfect health I'll give them back
youth and gayety and romance. II mid
die age is stupid, II middle age is pro-
sale, 1t is only because the health OF
middle age is poor.
The woman" he continued, who
sends her grumpy mate to my estab-
lishment will no longer have to make
the bitter complaint Of Mrs. Blank.
my husband. Is years ago. said
Mrs. Blank, used to kiss me every
time we passed through tunnel. But
now
She gave bitter laugh.
Now she said. he takes a long
pull at his travelling flask"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
Easily Answered.

These kids | teach aren't a bit
slow" observed school teacher yes
terday. in fact. I'm afraid they read
the papers. The other day ! proposed
the following problem to my arithme-
tic class:
"A rich man dies and leaves $1,000
900, One-f1fth is to go to his wife. one
sixth to his son. one-seventh to his
daughter, one-eighth to his brother,
and the rest to foreign missions. What
does each get?'
"A lawyer said the littlest boy In
the class promptly. Case and Com
ment.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
She Knew the Game.

She was bright girl and her escort
who was also her intended, was de-
lighted to find how quickly she grasp.
ed the points Of the game. She got on
so well that he ventured a light witt
cism on the subject Baseball re-
minds me of the household be re-
marked; there's the plate, the bat
ter, the fowls. the flies, etc" And
1t reminds me of marriage" she re-
torted; first the diamond where they
are engaged, then the struggles and
the hits, then the men going out. and
finally. the difficulty they have In get
ting home" And he sat and thought
and thought
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07

quency in passage and I began to
think there was no hope for me.
Doan's Kidney Pills cured me and /
have not had the slightest trouble
since"
When Your Back is Lame, Remem-
Der the Name-DOAN'S."
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price SOC.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
About the Size of II.

why is it?" queried the youth, "that
so many people fail to mind their own
business?'
There may be one or two reasons
Or BOTH" answered the homegrown
philosopher. 'They may have no mind
DR. no business PHILADELPHIA Press.
Such Is Fate.
why do you rock that boat?'
asked the wise man.
Because, in case of accident" re
piled the fool, I'm always saved"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
Exlts From Exerx Room.

A school building in which every
room has direct connection with the
ground. without first entering the
main hall, has been built just beside
the site of the famous Collinwood CO.,
school in which Its children persisted
by fire in 1908. 1t represents many
unique features of construction and Ii
said to be as fireproof and panic-proo1
as 1t is possible for school to be-
Popular Mechanics.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
CrankS
That
Make for
Progress
of w orld
BY JAMES BRADFORD
Fennyilie. Mich.

three nearly all the coast countries of Africa all
Asia four all coast countries of South America also
Indies south Australia and New Zealand and
have been constantly reminded by foreigners in all parts of the world
failures making unpleasant that many times have travelled
a a Canadian.
heard good word spoken of the laws
lived up to.
If would travel and study conditions and national and municipal
European and other especially the British posses
ons he would quickly realize the of these observations
foreigner but all honor to the foreignbo cranks
who failures especially regarding laws which the favored
few break with apparent impuniB
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
A eomnarison.

"A party platform is mighty i'm
portant consideration, said one states
man.
Yes" replied the other, "a party
platform in politics is good deal
like bunker in golf. The rules re-
quire it, but you show your skill in
avoiding It,"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07

to neglect.
James @. Hardin.
Weatherford. Texas.
says: my feet and
limbs became numb
and ! had terrible
pains through the
small Of my back.
X 1 d ey secretions
caused untold annoy
|ance by their fire.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
Ereddy,s Mistake.

Little Freddy was preparing to go
out calling with his mother. Suddenly
he called to her In a rather startled
voice:
Mamma, is this bay rum in the
brown bottle?"
Gracious, no, dear! That's mucil-
age"
oh" said Freddy; then after a
pause, Maybe that's why | can't get
my hat off metropolitan Magazine.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
His Ardor.

Miss Gladys Guggles (coyly) Does
yo' DULY love me, Cla'ence?
Clarence Snuckles (passionately)-
Love yo'? Why, | analyses yo' so dat
I'd RAIDER heah yo' chew gum dan to
listen to a minstrel band! OATS how
loves yoH-Puck.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
High
Building
Cost i'm
City of
New York
BY F. d. ETHERIDGE

than anywhere Chicago and the
Marble double elsewhere
ii s conducted on the closed shop principle
The only consolation that marble luxury and not at all essential
building occupying the relation that silk lining
ane suit of clothes.
The along just wen and find his suit just sas
Tory by using less expensive lining.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07

wherein the funds OF the INSTITUTIONS are invested IN
selected securities which make them against loss
| believe it is entirely feasible and within the
scope of the law for local unions to act as agencies
for savings banks in securing membership in its saw
ings bank insurance department. 1t is not uncom
mon practice in trade unions to set aside portion of
the local funds for the payment of benefits to outof
work members, to sick and destitute members, and
see no reason why funds of the local union might not
be applied in the direction of protecting insured
bers in the payment of their premiums to per-
petuate the insurance and encourage the membership
to take an interest in and become participants in the
benefits to be derived from such insurance.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
Savings
Banks
Method of Insur.
ance Would Re-
lieve the Public
BY JOHN F. TORN


labor unions is going emphasize strongly the necessity of
making provisions such contemplated savings
:: ]. ]. ! ; : !.
Hnu life insurance and annuies determining the of living
ES5SD 81 and what is known as wages
XXI why the encouragement and promotion Of
~ this method of insurance will great measure relieve
the general public both from taxation from voluntary
- contributions assist those who by of and the
nfrmies going with age, have been provided for who
have themselves not provided for what the rainy day and
have become public charge.
believe such insurance will do much promote thrift and stmu
late desire provide least independence against
the nm Of because the inherent human desire the
humiliation Of being public charge 1t the amount which
be provided by savings bank life insurance and annuity policy
that should be measured this connection but the fact that the practice
of such this connection will lead to other
om which will enhance and promote against the period of old
important and part the consideration of all questions
affecting wages
look forward hopefully the time when the trade union and each
of its local branches will become recruiting stations not alone in Massa
chu but in other states the Union for the promotion of this form
of insurance among its membership The existing machinery trade
having SICK death and other benefits such make the
promotion savings bank life simple matter and most
effective agency promoting that spirit Of efhep and freance
which active participation the the labor
While trade union provision for SICK death and other benefits fur
nsh reasonable degree of security which may safely be said to be
stability ordinary life Insurance. it is still subject to the vic
udes that % trade unions Savings bank Insurance. the other
hand furnishes all the security and stability the bank which
surrounded by competent official supervision and legislative protection
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
A Clean swsen,

"I hear you had triumphant sum
mer Made clean sweep"
II may say | did, responded the
belle of the beach. ION the way to
the station even became engaged to
the driver OF the bus
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
A Poser.

Johnny Grandpa. do lions go to
heaven?
Grandpa-No, Johnny.
Johnny-Well, do you ministers?
Grandpa-Why, of course Why do
you ask?
Johnny-We suppose lion eats a
minister Life.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
Sypmtoms.

Colonel Soggsby's eyes look fishy.
Don't you think we'd better remove
him frcm the banquet hall?"
mot yet not yet. Although his eyes
do look rather fshy, his eye-lids
have not yet begun to droop."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
Odd Industry.

There Is one man | employ who as
soon as he gets to work. suspends
operations"
as he lazy?"
mo; he's a paperhanger."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
imitation.

THAT dog is exactly like his mas
ter"
How sol"
when he attaches himself to any
person 1t is exceedingly difficult to
shake him off.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07

1t costs more to put up buildings in
New York than in any town in the United
States by at least ten per cent.
Chicago is nearest to New York in the
matter of expensive building, and San
Francisco and Denver are fother places
where there is heavy cost of construction.
Pittsburgh is much cheaper town in which
10 put up houses, being at least 20 per cent.
under New York, and should think that
Baltimore is better than Pittsburgh for
economy in the building line. The big
wages paid laborers is responsible for the
heavy outlay in Manhattan, for there the
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07

1t is the cranks that make for progress
in this world, not those satisfied with their
lot. If it was not for us cranks and our
kicking the race would still be as its ances-
tors were in the dark ages.
We cranks are kicking against the
Americans liberation Of inef1iciency, greed
reckless exploitation of man and beast
rudeness, injustice, graft, vice and corrup
ton, as DIR. Held says, and in time our eff
forts will make it better place to live il
and we will do it without the aid Of thosl
satisfied with present conditions.
I have travelled in every country in En-
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07

Squilbob-There are three periods
In mans life when he does not I'M
derstand woman.
Squilligan-And they are?
Before he knows her, when he
knows her. and afterwardi
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
MINED La The Bud.

Until now have never had to ask
for q small loan"
And until now I have never been
obliged to refuse you"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
WEAK, ILL AND MISERABLE.

How many people suffer from back
ache, headache and dizziness with
out realizing the cause? These symp-
toms OF kidney trouble are too serious
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
The Name Of Il.

"All men who win in politics are
good men,"
How can you make that outf"
Can you deny that they belong to
the elect?"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07
In the Old Days.

Eve had just tied a garland of maple
leaves about her ankles. What on
earth are you up to, my love?" asked
Adam.
Il am trying on my new hobble skirt,
sweetheart" returned the partner of
his joys, with sweet ile.-Harper' s
Weekly.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07

Grace Gas clock strikes 12)-Gra-
cious! Twelve o'clock. How the hours
have flown.
Tom-Yes; and your father has
helped 'em some, too. I've heard him
tinkering with the clock in the library
tor the last ten minutes.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07

''Wus you ever in love, Eddie?'
Nav, but | fell out of er second
story window onct!"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-10-07

About "Breaklng the Bank"
Reading any fiction these days?"
Nothing more than few press
agents stories from Monte Carlo"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-01-05
JUDGE LOWELL EXPLAINS AS TO
DISTRICT ATTORNEYSHIP
Pendleton. Ore. Jan. s.

fenuleton, Ore, Jan. b.
To the Editor:
My attention is called to a local
news item appearing in your issue Of
yesterday touching the contest for
district attorney to fill the vacancy
resulting in the recent promotion Of
that Official to the circuit judgeship,
and justice to Messrs Wilson and
Ferguson I desire to say that the ar
ticle is entirely misleading. Neither Of
those gentlemen have been aligned
either with the Lowell faction or the
Furnish faction, and It is not Just to
place them as republicans in the light
of any ancient feud. Whoever at
tempts 1t either does not know the sit
uation or is endeavoring to cover the
real reasons which are actuating the
appointments made and to be made.
as they are known to men accustomed
to the political game. II the old fac
tional division in this county was to
receive consideration by the APPOINT
ing power, and avoided as your ar
ticle would indicate, 1t would seem in
congruous that the same argument
should not have applied in the Judge
ship. Mr.. Phelps has always been re-
garded as a political friend and sup
porter Of Mr.. Furnish, while Mr.. win
ter Is my partner in business and my
personal friend, yet Mr.. Phelps re-
ceives the honor. and two young men
who know nothing and care less fol
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-01-05
EKLUND CHAMPION
CHECKER PLAYER

Albert Eklund, proprietor of the
shoeshop on Main street. has the dis
tinction of being the champion check
er player in the city and any one who
is inclined to dispute his title will find
him prepared to defend It. At the
first of a series of checker tourna-
ments held last night in the offices of
Attorney G. w. Coutts in Which eight
Of the best players in the city partici-
pated, Mr.. Eklund carried off first
honors with G. w. Coutts a close sec
ond. ]. p. Weiman, Isaac Jay and
Robert Morrison of Adams tied for
third place. Fourteen games were
played each contestant playing every
other one, two games. Mr. Eklund
won II out of the IA, Mr.. Coutts
came out first in 10 while the tie for
third honors was made on the score
OF 6. William Gulliford won the con-
ISOLATION prize, being unfortunate
enough to lose every game. The 9TH
er contestants were Robert Laing and
p. T. Wade. Mr.. Coutts was host of
the occasion and provided cigars,
punch and luncheon. other tourna-
ments will be held in the near fu-
ture.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-01-05

the political differences between Mr..
Furnish and myself, are made to bear
the burden OF factionalism. AS a mat
ter Of fact, Mr.. Wilson was not in the
state during the Lowell-Furnish po-
litical battles, and Mr.. Ferguson. II
here, was taking no interest in po-
litical affairs. He was soldier in
the Philippines during the inception OF
the fight, and be II known that his
support at this time has come largely
from the brave young men over the
state who bore the musket and faced
the shotted cannon in the Spanish
war, and Of their own organization.
Mr.. Bowerman is himself a member.
It is entirely immaterial to me who
is appointed district attorney, but as
suredly Mr.. Furnish and I can fight
our own battles without dragging into
the arena young men who are entit-
led to start their political career with
out the shadows Of Oregon's stormy
past, and I protest against such insn-
uations as color your article.
Respectfully,
STEPHEN A. LOWELL.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-01-05
c. ". PHELPS IS NOW
CIRCUIT JUDGE
NEWLY APPOINTED OFFICER
QUALITIES THIS AFTERNOON
Hands in Resignation as District At
tOrney and Takes Seat on Bench
Calls Court DOcket-Successor May
be Named Tomorrow

After today 1t will be no longer
District Attorney c.. w. Phelps but
Circuit Judge G.. w. Phelps. The
commission which makes this tram
sition arrived on the mail last evening
and his resignation from the of-
flee which he has held for the past
six years will go down on tonight's
fast mail, reaching Salem at about II
O'clock in the morning. The appoint
ment of his. successor will probably
be announced Immediately after the
receipt of the resignation.
Judge Phelps will qualify for Of
flee this afternoon and will immedi-
ately call the docket for the regular
January term of court which will be
convened Monday morning. Inasmuch
as district attorney is necessary for
the prosecution of criminal cases and
as Governor Bowerman's term of Of
flee will expire Saturday night, the
appointment may be expected at any
moment after tomorrow noon.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-01-05
PERSONAL
MENTION
F. H. Daughters of Salem is spend

F. H. Daughters of Salem is spend
ing the day in the city.
A. w. Claxon was in the city from
Walla Walla yesterday.
T. w. Barnhart was one of the vis-
itors from the Garden City yesterday.
Sloan Thompson OF Echo, came in
from his home last evening.
Miss Ruth Davis of Umatilla, was
a visitor in the city yesterday.
]. B. Clymer of Walla Walla, was
numbered among the visitors in PEN
dleton yesterday.
oregonian. left today for Portland up
on business trip.
Art Grover was among the Helix
people who came in on the Northern
Pacific this morning.
Ira Scott, wife and small child came
| in on the Northern Pacific train this
morning from Helix.
Ernest knight came in from his
ranch near Helix this morning. He
was accompanied by mis- mother.
Louis Bergevin, the well known
Athena farmer, came down from his
ranch yesterday on business matters
R. Hall. of Nome, Alaska, is one OF
the visitors from a distance in the
city, being registered at the Hotel st
George.
Judge James A. Fee is in Portland
for the transaction of professional bus
mess He will probably return home
tomorrow.
Matt Mosgrove, well known Miltor
resident, came down from the eas
end town yesterday for the transaction
of business.
Representative L. L. Mann left to-
day for Portland and from that city
he will go to Salem to take up his leg
islative duties Monday.
John Montgomery, local manager
OF the Puget Sound Warehouse com
pany, returned this morning from ,
brief business visit in Helix.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-01-05
RESOLUTION OF
PROTEST DRAFTED
TAFT AND BALLINGER
ARE APPEALED TO
Belief Expressed That Mistakes Was
Made in Turning Down of West
Extension to Umatilla Reclamation
Project.

Here is the draft of the resolution
adopted by the Pendleton CONNER
cial association in protest against the
action of the government in failing
to extend the Umatilla irrigation pro-
ject The resolution was written by
DR.. c. ]. Smith, chairman of the ir-
rigation committee, and copies OF the
same are being sent forth today:
Whereas, the newspaper reports in
the past few days indicate that under
the apportionment of the s20,000,000
fund raised by Act of Congress TO
continue irrigation projects already
commenced that oregon had Jared
badly and apparently unjustly in this
apportionment, receiving only 1925, 900
for the continuance of the Umatilla
project and 100000 for the continu-
ance of the klamath project; and
Whereas, the investors in public
lands in the state of Oregon in the
past few years have contributed to
the reclamation fund more than So
GEO. 900; and
Whereas, Oregon has only received
a small percentage of her share OF
this fund; and
Whereas, the proposed extension OF
the Umatilla project at a cost not to
exceed s3.O00,000 and to reclaim fif-
ty or sixty thousand acres of the fin
est land in the state of Oregon, lay
ing three hundred to five hundred
feet above the sea level and in the
Columbia River Valley, easy to trans
portation and within five or six hour!
ride of the city of Portland, the me-
market of the Pacific northwest; and
market of the Pacific northwest; and
uting so much as Oregon, have re
ceived much larger sums, for exampl,
the state of Montana, approximatel,
$S,O0O,000; Idaho, s7,OO0.0OO anC
Texas nearly s7,OO0,00O and the stat'
of Washington already having receiv
ed more than her share received So,
900, 900; we believe that some mis-.
understanding or mistake on the par
Of the federal authorities has beel
made.
Therefore, be 1t resolved and W,
most earnestly request President Taf
and Secretary Ballinger to see tina
Oregon gets justice and take up tn
task OF the redivision Of this funC
and be it further resolved, that cop
ies of this resolution be sent to Pres
! ident Taft, Secretary Ballinger ant
each member of. the Oregon congress
sional delegation.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-01-05
Twohy Bros. Responsible.

The delay Of trains No 2 and 1S
at Barnhart last Saturday evening by
the derallment of steam shovel has
been charged UP to the Twohy Bros.
Construction company by the railroad
officials. according to a message re-
ceived today by Agent T. F. O'Brien
from the general superintendent. The
message stated that the trouble was
due to gross carelessness on the part
Of the foreman in charge of the work
Of moving the shovel and that Twohy
Bros. would therefore be held respon-
sible for the delay.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-01-05
Bees Pay Better Than Hens.

Officials Of the state department
today stated that while they had no
desire to throw cold water upon the
big poultry exhibition which opens
in New York this week, 1t Is shown
from statistics just prepared that
bees are more valuable as wealth
producers than hens, even when eggs
sell at so cenuts a dozen. An idea
Of the magnitude Of the honey indus
try may be gained from the state
ment that the crop in the United
States each year amounts to 10000
900. There are said to be 10000 bee
keepers In the state Of New York.
which stands second among the states
in the production Of honey.