davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
Hadn't Heard the story.

From the Philadelphia Times
A philadelphia newspaper man, who is
popular with his fellows except when he
retails his anecdotes. which are very,
very old, was eating dinner at q club
with a man who has travelled a great
deal.
The newspaper man told his story and
the traveller yawned.
THAT reminds me Of man over In an
Indian Jungle" said the traveller. Il once
met a man over there who hadn't heard
that story"
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
Knew His Americans.
From the New York Tribune.

the NEW
There is candy boy on railroad
train running out Of New York to a near
by seashore resort whose ingenuity prob
ably will place him at the head Of the best
sellers" He came into the smoker a
few days ago shouting his wares. There
were no buyers. Then the wise young
ster, playing on the New Workers. dor
mant gs1nbIing propensity, asked five
men to contribute 10 cents each for
chances on a box of candy. He quickly
got five takers on a So-cent box. He
made out five small slips from pad that
he carried, and the men drew. Within
ten minutes the candy butcher" had
disposed of three boxes.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
What He Really Showed.


A young man sitting in a subway car
in New York. with legs crossed and one
foot, showing a highly polished shoe and
silk sock. extended so far into the aisle
as to make 1t almost impossible for peo-
pie to pass without coming in contact
with the obtruding member, was brought
to a sense of his disregard for others by
three young women who sat opposite
One said: II wonder II he is showing
his foot or his shoe?' The second said.
loud enough to be heard above the car
clatter and to the amusement Of others:
IT think he wants to show his clocked
socks-watch IT." NO. said the third
hes only showing his bad manners. t"
The foot came down and was lost in
the crowd which got off at the next sta
ton.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
One ON President Taft.

From the Philadelphia Evening Times.
Speaking of two sides TO every propo-
sition, here is one on President Taft He
was to speak at a convention some time
ago, but until a few minutes before he
entered the hall he had thought of no
subject. His eye fell upon the sign at
the door crPush'o. and he determined to
make that his theme. Young men," he
finished, 'Tet your motto always be that
word which is on the door. Let that
raise you to position of trust. and that
only!" AS all eyes were turned to the
place designated, a rapidly growing
chuckle could be heard over the room.
The sign on the inside read, Pull"
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
Poor Taste.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
'It seems to me-" said Mrs. Oidcastle,
shat our minister isn't preaching as well
as he did at first. Don't you think he is
becoming rather dogInaticT'
well, don't know" replied her host
ess, as she put away the jewels she had
worn while viewing the coronation pro-
cession. although did notice last sun
day that he spoke about the dogs iickin'
tho sores OF LaxaruA lt's awful poor
taste amt itrs
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY

To keep in touch with home
news washingtonians leaving the
city should not fail to have The
Washington Herald mailed to
them. 1t will be sent promptly,
and addresses may be changed as
often as desired without inter
ruption of service.
Mail order or 'phone Main $500,
giving the old and new addresses.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
New Way to Announce Enga cement.
IN-r,, Neu Hork presa

trCHn ne new 1Orh fEesA
A novel scheme recently was used
to announce the engagement OF Faye
Cleaver Bruen, Of Oakland. Cal. to
Richard Yates Hoffman, of Chicago,
both OF whom have many society friends
in this city. Mrs. William Gould Bruen.
mother of Miss Bruen, gave a dance In
honor of her daughter and invited thirty
young society persons OF Oakland. Hoff-
man also was present. The initials Of
the dance numbers spelled Miss Bruen's
and Hoffman's names, but that was not
observed until after the announcement
Of the engagement was made in another
way. AS an extra dance was announced
the guests gathered in a circle around
a large tissue paper bag suspended from
the ceiling. Each person grasped a
string, and at a given signal, pulled.
Papier-mache cats jumped from the bag.
and each had a card announcing the en-
gagement. "The cat was let out of the
bag in a truly surprising way.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
sunday Observance In Roanoke.

From the Roanoke yal Evening World.
On the front page of to-day's issue Of
the Evening World will be found an an
nouncement that every automobile
garage in Roanoke will observe the SUM-
day laws. Tomorrow and every Sunday
thereafter the purchase OF gasoline. oil,
spark plugs, batteries, or any other ar
ticls In this line Of business win be abb
solutely impossible. Furthermore. no
labor Of any kind WIN be permitted at
these establishments Owners Of ma
chimes will be allowed TO enter garages
and set their cars. but for no consider
alton win they be able to secure any
thing IN The way Of squipmenl
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
CURIOUS BITS OF HISTORY
BY A. w. MACY.
AMERICAS FIRST NEwSPA-
PER,

The first newspaper IN Amer
lea was issued in Boston on Sep
tember 25, 1880. 1t was print
ed by r. Pierce for Benjamin
Harris" In the first issue the
publisher promised that the pa
per shall be furnished once q
month Cor II a Glut OF Occur
rences happen. oftener) with an
account OF such considerable
things as have occurred unto
our notice; to give faithful re-
lation OF all such things, and to
enlighten the public as to the
occurrents of Divine Provi-
dence." 1t gave a summary OF
the important news of the
time. and was quite readable IL
not exactly spicy. To US II
would appear a very harmless
sheet; but the authorities of
that day were rigid in their GEN.
sorship OF the press, and after q
few issues Mr.. Harris paper was
suppressed because ''it came out
contrary to law. and contained
reflections OF a very high nature
tCopyrisht. 1911. by Joseph n. BowieA)
To-morrow--"A Liberty Martyr
Of Long Ago.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
A Welcome Fee.

How do you get so many delightful,
dissipated dukes and earls to your teas?"
by adopting an idea that my husband
gave me-" answered the American lady
who was taking London by storm. "As
in directors meeting, there's a
honorarium of SO for attendance"
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
THE NEXT REFoRM.

THE NEXT REFORM.
And now at Christmas they inveigh,
Pronouncing 1t bane.
They want to fix 1t up some way
And try to make 1t sane.
Its function now, they all declare,
Is but to disappoint:
And things relating to 1t are
Entirsly out OF joint.
know my wife will Join the cause.
Instanter fall in line.
Last year she gave some eighty gifts
And got but forty-nine.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
The stork and sIster.

From the Youngstown Telegram.
Little Robert was much Interested In
the picture Of q stork which he saw in q
magazine.
SAY, mamma" he asked, what has
become Of the birds other Ieg3'
.rt has raised It up among It's feathers"
replied the mother.
That's funny" the boy observed; Il
thought Il was trying TO clean It's shoe on
;ts stocking. Ike sister Ethel dosas
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
A Young Diplomati.t.
From Harper's Magazine.

Taddy, aged four, often called on his
nearest neishbor, Mrs. Brown. who pet.
ted him a good deal and usually gave
him a couple Of nice cookies and II she
happened to forget to pass them out. he
sometimes reminded her OF 1t.
His father learned Of this and chided
him for begging and told him he must
not do so any more. A day or two later
Taddy came home with cookie crumbs in
evidence.
Have you been begging cookies from
Mrs. Brown again. asked his father
rather sterniy
"No!" said Taddy. II didn't beg her
for any. Just said this house smells as
II Il was full Of cookies, but what's that
70 msr'
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
Financing the Affair.

= Father, the duke has proposed. and
we want to be married Immediately"
"All right Here's check for your
million. Tell the duke to step in and
I'll give him a dollar to 5cr the license"
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

Somehow We are far more interested In
fight between rival baseball teams
than in a possible war between Germany
and England.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
Staging a Trial.

Shall weep at the trial?" inquired
the chorus girl.
"Giggling went all right at the last
trial" responded the New York lawyer.
Suppose you giggle at first. and we'll
see how II .goes."
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
A Summer Hotel.

Had a queer complaint to-day" said
the landlord.
What about7'
Guest said the meals were all right,
but the sunsets weren't up to expecta-
ton"
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

A Daniel, a veritable Daniel, come to
Judgment A New York court has de-
cided that force may be used in ejecting
a bill collector.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
A Desirable Heart.

Mr.. wombat. the elderly millionaire,
has offered me his heart"
Take it, girl" advised friend. His
physician tells me that its valvular action
Is very bad"
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
The PFosaic Past.

Looking backward is a bore.
With its buffets and its biffs;
Life is really nothing more
Than a lengthy string Of ifs"
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

The New York Central system is to be
merged. Too bad. A lot Of frst-class
railroad presidents will be thrown out of
work, and winter is coming!
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

A woman suffrage enthusiast states
that in New South Wales a higher
morality results because the women do
most of the voting.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

The German war ship at Agadir may
have to do what the other German ship
did at Manila-get out of the way
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

Pinchot's criticism of the Presidents
Controller Bay message shows that he is
somewhat mixed as to facts, but very
positive as to his opinion.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
Too Hot.

Doesn't this weather suit your
mo; I never liked summer except in
winter"
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

The present European war clouds bear
the trademark Made in Germany"
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31


A new ocean liner is TO be called the
Gigantic, and in this case no doubt there
will be something in a name.
From the Memphis NewsSGmitar.
Lillian Russell. in her beauty talks,
says that the forehead should not be
too high. She doubtless has found that
lowbrows are much easier marks.
From the New York World.
There is really a splendid opportunity
to give Tho Hague tribunal tho lime
light by referring the Morocco question
to 1t.
Frum the Pittsburg Sun.
Unnecessary tariff. says Spreckels. adds
cents TO the cost Of every pound of
sugar It also adds to a violent dislike
for the trust,
From the Philadelphia North American.
1t has been testified that the price of
steel is regulated by the Gary dinners.
And the Judge is a high liver.
From the Houston Post
People who think Canadian reciprocity
will give them cheaper poultry need to
be bored for the hollowhorn. Texas will.
have 100000 fat turkeys to ship North
about Thanksgiving time, and we expect
to thumbscrew the Yankees out of their
money as usual.
Prom the Pittsbrry Post.
The New Haven man who married
woman ffty-six years his Junior has just
died and left her 100000. Other girls
take notice.
From the St Paul Dispatch
A policeman in Cincinnati laughed so
hard that he couldn't give his testimony
and the court was obliged TO discharge
the prisoner. At last We have a good
idea as to why so many offending trusts
go unpunished.
From the Kansas City StG.
OF course, the Princess De Chimay has
the heartfelt sympathy Of Nat Goodwin.
The princess, also, has been divorced
with the proviso that she must not marry
again.
From the Detroit Free Press
A New York lady doctor says that
women wouldn't look any more immodest
in trousers than they do in the garments
they are now wearing. Granted, but why
switch the trousers, then?
From Life
Come to New York We have more
different ways of getting your money
than any other city in the United States.
From the Omaha Bee.
How long Is 1t since a Bryan-less DEM
ocratic platform in Nebraska would have
been utterly unthinkable?
From the Providence Journal.
You are an infamous liar and scoun-
drel," remarked Mr.. O'Brien to a fellow
Nationalist in Parliament on Thursday
A certain eminent citizen of Long Island
might reasonably charge Mr.. OBrien
with MIA apfarism p
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

denly elevated to high pinnacle of
goodness, perhaps the blue laws, after
all, ought not to be repealed
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

Why should people who live in large
and populous cities insist upon maintain
e ing growing roosters, anyway?
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

Is graceful In form and rich In color,
and possibly at the point where it
touches the earth there is a pot of gold.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
ron the Memphis Newssc.mitsr.

Lillian Russell. in her beauty talks,
says that the forehead should not be
too high. She doubtless has found that
lowbrows are much easier marks.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
AS OTHERS SEE 1T.

From the Detroit Free Press
A new ocean liner is to be called the
Gigantic, and in this case no doubt there
will be something in q name.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
From the New York World.

There is really a splendid opportunity
to give Tho Hague tribunal tho lime
light by referring the Morocco question
to It.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31

From the Philadelphia North American.
1t has been testified that the price of
steel is regulated by the Gary dinners.
And the Judge is a high liver
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
Frprn the Pfttsburv Sun.

frofn the flttsourB Bun.
Unnecessary tariff. says Spreckels. adds
2 cents TO the cost Of every pound of
sugar. 1t also adds to a violent dislike
for the trust,
The Washington herald., 1911-07-31
From the Houston Post.

EIoIn Ilc noustOn fCeI
People who think Canadian reciprocity
will give them cheaper poultry need to
be bored for the hollowhorn. Texas viii!
have 100000 fat turkeys to ship North
about Thanksgiving time, and We expect
to thumbscrew the Yankees out of their
money as usual.
The Washington herald., 1911-10-14
Householders to Blame.

While much has been said lately re-
garding the prevalence of petty thiev-
ing in Washington, the fact that house
holders are in some measure to blame
has been overlooked. For instance, the
police records yesterday for the pre-
ccding twenty-four hours showed that
thirty-four doors and ten windows were
discovered open by patrolmen. while no
less than Io5 back gates of premises
&td been LETT ajar. These figures are
really below the average and show that
householder5 are not as careful as they
ought to be in securing their homes
against depreciation.
The fact is that there is so little
danger in Washington from the Grim
inal classes that a sense of security
prevails among the residents. This is
all the more creditable to police force
which has not been allowed to develop
at ratio proportionate with the popu-
lation. The increase in the force in the
past eight years has been only nineteen,
while the population has increased over
$4,000. Aside from this, the street rail-
roads have been extended into outlying
territory and millions of dollars worth
OF Improvements in those sections now
require police protection. The failure of
Congress TO enact a police and fire
mems retirement bill has kept upon the
force large number of officers whose
places might be taken by younger men,
Under these circumstances much can
be said to the credit of the force, and
if citizens will cooperate by securing
their homes at night its splendid record
will be made even more effective.
The Washington herald., 1911-10-14
Want Increased Fares.

The electric railway men have spoken.
At their convention in Atlantic City
they adopted resolutions declaring their
belief that there exists a widespread
need OF increased fares if adequate
service is to be furnished and capital
secured for the continued growth OF
the industry"
The campaign for this increase in
fares is to be based upon a proposition
to retain the present fiat scent rate,
with the elimination of all free trans
fers and the imposition of a tax of I
cent, cents, and 3 cents upon all
transfers issued. They desire also to
establish the European zone system
without transfers and charge a Io-cent
fare for all passengers who come from
an outlying district and cross the busi-
ness section of city to a suburb on
the other side
1t is not difficult to predict that these
traction managers will experience some
trouble in securing the abolition of the
transfer system. In Washington there
is a widespread demand for increased
transfer facilities. Public sentiment has
been aroused upon the subject, and
while the final decision rests with Con-
greSs. it will take all the influence
which the companies possess to op-
pose the movement successfully. Their
strongest argument is. of course. the
fact that the scent fiat rate does not
prevail here.
1t is evident that the railroad men
realize the general sentiment in favor
of larger privileges from the traction
companies, and their action is taken not
so much in the expectation of abolish
ing transfers as for the purpose of es-
tablishing a basis upon which they can
fight to retain what they now enjoy
The proposition contained in their res
olutions is not likely, however, to find
approval in any community.
The Washington herald., 1911-10-14
More Foolish Optimism.

Nobody ever doubted that Vice Presi-
dent Sherman was an optimist of the
thirty-third degree. His temperament is
buoyant and life appeals to him as an
everlasting JOY.
Therefore, it is quite characteristic
that he should, like Omar Khayyarn
sing the song of to-day and let to-mor-
row take care of itself. Let the future
generations do the worrying. he says
while the present eats, drinks, and is
merry
II believe" to quote his own words
that each new generation is equal to
the task of discovering some new thing
to take the place of any exhausted nat
ural resources. am willing to give
the coming generation credit for being
as smart as we are | believe that they
will find fuel. 1t may be that they will
invent appliances to squeeze out of the
air the thing that will light and heat
our homes"
This is the typical American point OF
view. Burn down the forests, exhaust
the mines, throw into the trash heap
the material that in any other country
would be converted into use.
No wonder that conservation is a
word almost unknown in Our vocabu-
larry
The Washington herald., 1911-10-14
LEGAL BATTLE ON
IN M'NAMARA CASE
Opposing Attorneys Clash
Over Qualifications.

Los Angeles, Cal, Oct. l3.-Examina-
ton OF Venireman z. T Nelson and an
ensuing legal battle between opposing
attorneys as TO his qualifications as
Juror. occupied all OF the second days
session in the case of James 3. Nc
Namara, charged with the murder Of
Charles Hagger. one of the nineteen vic
Tins Of the Los Angeles Times explosion.
William Brown. Il teamster employed
by the Times, was brought into court
during the morning session for the pur
pose of Identifying the defendant Brown
was accompanied into the court room by
Assistant District Attorney Ford. took
a seat at the oailiff's desk. and for fully
ten minutes closely studied the defend
ants features.
Browns arrival in the court room
caused the defendant to turn hurriedlv
to Deputy Sheriff Frank Cochran with
the request that Attorney DarrOw be
summoned
When Darrow conferred with the prIs-
oner Mcnamara stated that Brown had
been brought into the court room for the
purpose of identifying him. Darrow
smiled when he was informed OF this,
and the prisoner added that he did not
know Brown AMI that he had never seen
him before. After watching Mcnamara
for ten minutes, Brown nodded to Ford
and they left tine court room together.
Brown worked at the old Times plant.
He drove an old truck and was in charge
of the teaming from the warehouse to
the press room. He frequently was at
the building in the afternoon, and on
number of occasions he was there early
in the morning. Because he frequently
worked in and near the basement, a num-
Der Of detectives presented the theory
to-day that Brown had seen a man of
McNamara's general appearance near the
newspaper building on the day preceding
the explosion.
The legal battle over the qualifications
of Venireman Nelson to serve as a Juror
came after an hours questioning a the
morning session. at which Nelson ad-
mitted that he had formed an opinion
regarding the cause of the Times disas-
ter and as to the guilt of the defendant.
Leading up to this climax, Attorney
lie Compte Davis asked the venireman
II he could give James B. Mcnamara a
fair and impartial trial.
Nelson said he believed he could. but
admitted he was preJudiced to a certain
extent.
IF you were a member Of organized
labor and were here on trial for Your
life as this man is and a man in your
state of mind was called upon to act as
a juror in this case. do you think he
hearing?" asked Mr.. Davis.
Nelson declared that he did not know
without some evidence.
Then you have an opinion which
would require evidence to remove?"
The answer was yes"
Nelson said he had not read McNa-
mara's testimony, given before the grand
jury and published in the Los Angeles
papers.
Feniremen were excluded from the
court room during the argument of at
torneys. Judge BordwelI instructed
those who had not been sworn in to
return Monday morning. He cautioned
them about discussing the case and ad-
monished them not to read newspaper
accounts of it.
1t is expected arguments in the case
of Venireman Nelson will be concluded
at the morning session tomorrow and
that court will then adjourn until Mon
day.
The Washington herald., 1911-10-14
NOTICE, GEORGETOWN!

Whereas a football team com
posed Of Caucasians has elected Il
enjoy gentle sport with another
team composed Of Indians thi
lovely afternoon.
Be II resolved:
That no player shall be allowed
to kick an opponent more thaI
three times in succession.
That any team attack going be
yond the range of simple assault
and battery and entering the statu:
Of mayhem, manslsughter, or mur
der win be discoVutenanced by the
police, and any goal scored there
from will not be counted.
That the game be discontinued
whenever a player shall have lost
an eve or ear until he shall have
had time to recover same.
That, In the event homicide 4
committed. the player shall be in.
earcerated immediately after the
game.
CUNO H. RUDOLPH,
J. A. JOHNSTON.
WILLIAM JUDsoN,
District Commissioners.
The Washington herald., 1911-10-14
TAFT OPPOSES Hay BILL.
Against Extending Army Term of
Enlistment to Five Years.

President Taft is opposed to the plan
of Representative Hay, Of Virginia. chair
man of the House Committee on Mill
tary Affairs. for increasing the term of
enlistment in the army. from three TO
five years. a bill for this purpose. which
was introduced at the last session of
Congress. caused a sharp difference of
opinion among army officers on duty in
the War Department to whom It was re-
ferred for comment.
Mai. Gen. Leonard Wood. Chief of staff.
opposed the measure. while Maj. Gen.
F. c. AinswOrth adjutant general, ia
vored IT. In letter received here yes
terday from Charles D. Hilles, secretary
to the President. Mr.. Hilles said that a
the Hay bill will result in reduction Of
the total pay received by the enlisted
men of the army. the President opposes
the measure on the ground that there
is serious objection TO scaling down the
pay Of the professional soldier"