davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-05-07

200 miles long. or to have q subaqueors
cable in the lake itself. which would
have cost far mora than the wireless in
stallation and perhaps a. much as the
longer overland telegraph.
The power for the wireless stations IL
provided by petroleum motors The mast
supporting the antennae 1t Miansa 10 ise
feet high and that 1T Bukoba 200 feet.
The erection Of three wireless stations In
the Fiji Islands has recently been begun
by the Narconi Company.
The Washington herald., 1911-05-07
HISTORIC VESSEL
Is DISMANTLED
King George to Have Chair
from Fittings.

London, May 6-The Melampus. King
Georges old ship. in which he toured
the world. has now been broken up. and
in day or two the tons of material
of which she was built will be sold
under the hammer.
Both King George and Queen Alexan-
dra desire mementoes Of the old vessel.
and they have given orders-the King
for garden chair and Queen Alexandra
for a suite Of garden furniture. These
will be made Of teak wood used in the
fittings Of the officers apartments.
The Washington herald., 1911-05-07

toms. is taking the keenest interest in
the Carnarvon ceremony In fact. from
the very first he has urged that all the
old customs be observed The ceremony
will certainly be on a magnificent scale.
The Washington herald., 1911-05-07
Matches Resist Fire,

Paris. May 6.-The French state
made match has Just given another
proof Of its powers Of resisting fire.
The Eclaireur Of Nice has on view q
match holder full Of matches with the
following notice:
Matches made BY the state monopoly. placed on
the mantel Of room On the fourth story Of the
Hotel Bristol at Bcaulieu. All the furniture Of this
room was destroyed. these matches alone remaining
intact.
The Washington herald., 1911-05-07

Formerly the much-courted Miss GLADYS Vanderbilt.
whose husband the count is said have seized the
family purse strings with grasp that never looseas
even when the question of clothes for the coming
ceronation OF King George and Queen Mary Of Eng
land is In question. According to runner. the
countess Is compelled by the frugal count TO have
all her garments made in Hungary, ostensibly h.
cause Of his patriotism but In reality because Of the
cheapness with which they can be puchased I'm that
country, The former Miss Vanderbilt is said to
hare protested strongly against this trratmeut b,t
wifh0t avaA. -.
The Washington herald., 1911-05-07

To clean an electrical railroad Of snow. London
engineer has invented . In which rotary brushes
sweep the snow upon heated plates which quickly
melt II, the water being returned to the track to
how away.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27

vising ways to pick flaws is un-
limited. Poor Mrs. Nil is getting
a divorce. She says her husband
neglects her. 1 cannot understand
that! 1t seems to me a woman can
govern such things absolutely"
AS a matter of fact you do not
care two pins about the misfitting
matrimonial harness of the Nils.
Your one object in rejecting on
the inability of the wife to keep
her husbands interest is to attract
attention to the fact that you are
such a perfectly satisfactory life
partner that your husband does not
neglect you.
You keep yourself fiatte ed into a
comfortable complacency thet fits
you like a glove. But you need not
get the idea that other people think
as much of you as you do of your
self.
You are a social irritant. You
never get quite offensive. enough
to be attacked and so give others
the chance to get the rage they
feel out of their systems. You just
tell how you do things, how you
make jelly, how you keep your silk
stockings from dropping stitches,
how you shampoo your hair, how
you manage your husband. But
you always point out your own
excellence by using some ones else
deficiency as an illustratIIn.
do not know of any form of
smirking self-satisfaction that is
so obnoxious. Indeed, 1 think you
arc the chief Of obnoxious smIrkers.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
Mamie's Trolley Monologue

! taken girl spurns the handsome hero
because Of the 'nonymous letter tell
ing her that he was the man that
tied her on the railroad tracks, I'd
watch her close.
If she was rattlin' her program
tryin' to find out what the orchestra
was goin' to play durin' the intermis-
sion, I'd know she wasn't putin up
any bIuff about bein' strictly a bus
mess girl. And any girl that's got a
shorthand tablet instead of a heart
oughtn't to be married to anybody
but a bookkeeper that wears glasses
and carries his figures home every
night and takes them to bed with
him.
But If her beautiful vi'let eyes
was filled with tears, and she was
titin' her handkerchief instead of
soppin' them up with 1T, I'd know
she'd make a nice little girl to have
the privilege of telling my troubles
to, and other things bein' equal, as
the professors say, I'd ask her to
change her name and keep her dis
position. A livin' iceberg of a wife
is an awful thing to have around the
house, Belle, If a man figures on bein'
home himself any of the time.
Anyhow, Belle, I'm thankful 1 can
enjoy a good cry with the rest of
'em
The Washington times., 1911-03-27

Funny place. the theayter, Belle,
Bill and I took in Her Heart Was
Broken Twice" at the Pollonaise last
night Tells all about how a beautiful
but awful foolish girl was saved
twelve times and swore at twenty in
four acts and sixteen scenes.
l told Bill before we started If
there was any shootin' or poisonin' in
II I'd just as soon take in the movies,
because if there's anything that makes
me lose my faith in human nature it's
Spilln' a cheekful of tears over some
poor girl that's had four bullets fired
into her pure young brains and then
seeing her jump up and bow like a
monkey on a stick.
O. course. we know she amt dead
and's probably rubbin' her knee where
she bumped IT when she died, but as
long as a couple O. thousan' people are
havin' a good time breakin' their
hearts, what's the use O. spOilin every
thing. A good cry once in a while
won't hurt nobody, and they say it's
good for the eyes.
If was a fellow, Belle, and wanted
TO see whether a girl was kiddin' or
not when she let on she wasn't sem
timental, I'd buy her a dollar seat at
a heartbreaker and keep lookin' at
her. When the beautiful but mis-
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
Our Grocery Clerk Says
There's Money in Ham

Talk about making two simoleons
grow where one simoleon grew be-
fore! Did you see that woman that
just went out? Well, she must have
a regular hothouse of dollars some
where.
It's pound and a half of ham for
hers every day, sliced thin. Not thin,
but THIN! Thinner than any ham
you ever saw sliced, and then some.
She started coming a month ago,
ordered her ham and warned me II
l valued my life to cut 1t just as thin
as it would cut and still remain pig.
/ almost sliced off a thumb trying to
wafer it for her, and pretty nearly
threw a fit when she came across with
the decision that it was five times too
thick.
Here" she said, try this knife"
And she produces a carving knife
most see through 1t. You could cut
piece out of the atmosphere with
that knife. Well, 1 peeled OFF enough
waters to that pound and a half to
carpet a floor. She wasn't even sat
isfied then, but she said it'd do.
And since then she's been in every
day, and she always brings that con-
founded knife of hers. Yesterday 1
kind of managed to intimate that I'd
sort of like to know what she did
with all the shadow ham.
She runs a little lunch wagon out
side an iron foundry, and she makes
a speciality of sandwiches!
The Washington times., 1911-03-27

a 7 last 1 have you where 1 can
"A hold the glass before you!
You are such a sly person
that 1t Is hard to catch you.
And yet you have no associate
among the company of small viii
lains, who make society a danger
GUS diversion, who so generally and
generously receives the dislike Of
the diversionists.
You have a way OF picking out
flaws in others-in other women,
to be accurate-in order to attract
attention to your own virtues
virtues which exist in your imagi-
nation and are not subject to the
wear and tear of everyday use!
You want to keep them nice" Pos
sibly that is why you make such
eager efforts to point out flaws.
You know that your nicely kept
virtues will loom up so we'll by
contrast!
This is the way you do 1t. 81
am SO sorry Mrs. Blank will dress
so conspicuously!" And you are
not sorry! If you were you would
run over to call and drop a hint
to her instead of neatly stabbing
her in her showily clad back. The
only reason you pick flaws in her
is to direct attention to your. ex-
quisitely tasteful costume of mode
and dull old rose.
After you have daintily thrust
the toe of your perfectly matched
shoe from under the edge of, the
gown it accompanies so harmonious
ly, YOU say-"I am SO sorry she is
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
Wife of Lieut.. Slemmer
Enthusiastically Received

Mrs. Slemmer, wife Of the gallant
Lieutenant Slemmer, the command
ing officer at Fort Pickens, is So
Journing in Philadelphia for a few days.
Her presence at the Arch Street
Theater last evening caused much
enthusiasm. Colonel Dodworth spread
himself on a national melody with
eminent credit to the orchestra and
the delight of the audience.
An act just passed by the Florida
Legislature declares that in the event
of any actual collision between the
troops of the late federal union and
those in the employ of the state OF
Florida, 1t shall be the duty of the
governor of the state to make public
proclamation of the fact, and there
after the act of holding office under
the federal government shall be trea-
son. and the person so holding 1t
shall suffer death.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
Three Important Bills
Pas, Southern Consress

Three military bills have passed the
southern congress. The first author
ICES the raising Of one hundred thou
sand volunteers, when deemed neces-
sary by the president. The second
provides for the provisional army Of
the confederate states, and Is formed
from the regular and volunteer forces
Of the different states, to serve for
terms of enlistment, with the same
officers, except those above the rank
of colonel. The third organization is
the regular army Of the confederate
states, and is a permanent establish
ment, says a Montgomery newspaper.
The Baltimore Methodist conference,
in annual session at Staunton, adopts
secession resolutions to the effect that
It will no longer submit to the juris-
dictIon OF the general conference of
the NJ. E. Church, and therefore de-
clares itself separate and Independent.
Uriah Wells, proprietor of an ex-
tensive foundry at Petersburg, returns
from a trip to South Carolina, where
he endeavored to close several big
contracts for balls and shells.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
She Flew With Him
To the Sky Pilot
DAILY Shortest Story
WAS in the year 1897.

| 1t was in the year 1871.
The place was the aerodrome of an
| eighty-two story apartment house
The time was night The night was
dark
Fly with me-" he whispered, so
low that she could not help but hear
at that altitude. Hear the throb-
binE of the engines of muh 700-horse-
power Wright and Ditson. 'Tis the
Schnoopenheim, Amina, holder of the
airs r.OOO-yard dash record. IF you
| love me, Amina, ny, else 1 shall bite
muh nails with vexation"
"I am afraid" she breathed, flick
ing one trouser leg with her cane.
1Fear not" he breathed back. and
caught her to his heart. He was a
big Lacquer on the catch thing.
Seven seconds had elapsed in rapid
succession. The Schnoopenheim was
cleaving some of the air 100 miles
away. She looked back.
"Tootles," she cried. Father is
after us. He Is in the s00-horsepower
Cross and Blackwell. Woe is me-
Whoa is both of u.s. hissed he. 81
forgot he owned that accursed Cross
and Blackwell. 1t can beat anything
on two wings"
Shall we jump7" she quavcred-
NO" he answered, after a moments
reflection, I'VE might fall"
Another instant and Mr.. Highern-
that was upon them. With a light
n'ng gesture he threw a heavy object
into the Schnoopenbeim.
You forgot your emergency gaso-
line" he shouted through the night
"and the church is 500 miles away.
It was in the year 1891.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
Reddy Smith Chats
On Love and Riches

It's uh shame de way some people
treats dere own chirren, Jimmie. Die
yu notice de feller dat jes passed? De
quiet lookin' chap wild de sad face and
brown eyes? Sure. dat's him. He's uh
clerk uver in de National. OATS de
senator's son.
He's uh pretty decent sort Nv uh
chap. Got uh couple Nv brudders an
sisters an uh peach Wv uh gurl. His
gurl-dats what makes him so sad. Yu
see de senator never went tn school.
Wurked his way up tn de job he's got
like yu an mes workin'. De senator
don't believe in college.
De boy. he wants tn go, but de oil
man won't let him. Dat starts it.
He goes anyway fur a cuple Nv years,
den, KNOWN dat he can't wurk his
way thru, on uh count NV his fadder's S
name, he quits an gifts de job he's got
now. Den he meets hur. She Gums
frum uh poor family, jes like yu an
me, Jimmie. but she's got de push in
hur. Works thru college an den
teaches school. so dey say, fur I amt
never seen hur.
When de OF man finds dat dere in
luv' each udder. he cuts de son off,
turns him out Nv de house an won't
listen TO no pleadin's. De OIL man
wanted him to marry uh rich woman,
but de son-well he wants tn marry uh
wife and dats jes what he's goin' tn
do. I'm sorry fur him, Jimmie, cause
he's such uh nice feller-but say l
guess we can thank the good Lord dat
we WIS born poor an ur not burdened
wild uh nameI
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
Gen. Winfield Scott
HunS In Effiay

News reaches Atlanta that General
Winfield Scott was hung in effgy at
Sylvania, Ga, on March 4, by the
schoolboys of that place.
A large secession flag Is raised by the
citizens Of Danville, Va, amid a great
flourish of oratory on southern rights.
The flag was made by young ladies Of
the town. Another secession banner
will be raised there next Saturday, 1t Is
announced.
Charleston hears that Major Ander-
son, in command of Fort Sumter, has
been ordered to Newport barracks, KY
Hon. Roger A. Pryor Is among
those invited to speak when a seces-
sion flag is raised in Chesterfield
county, near Petersburg, tomorrow.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
500 Mississippi Troop,
En- Route to Pensacola

Dispatches from Memphis, Tenn,
state that 500 Mississippi troops
passed through there on their way
to Pensacola. They had a military
reception and were enthusiastically
received. Reports from New Orleans
tell that two companies of zouaves
left for Pensacola today for active
service. Mobile advices say that
troops and munitions are constantly
moving to Pensacola. Several COM
panies were expected from Alabama.
The full text of the speech Of Alex
ander H. Stephens, vice president Of
the confederate states, delivered in
Georgia on March 81, has just reach
ed here and is causing wide COM
ment. Stephens declares that slavery
is the basis of the new government;
that the idea of the trainers of the
declaration of independence that "alI
men were created equal" was fun
damentally false and that the south
ern confederacy rejected II.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
A FRIGHTFUL BREAK

'T'n never ask that uncouth west
erner to another social function with
me"'
why. what's the matter?'
When Mrs. De Style at the dinner
the other day asked him If he would
have a demitasse, he said If she didn't
mind he'd rather have a demijohn."
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
These Are Not Good
For Cracked Lips

We'll, old man, congratulate me.
I'm my own boss now"
How does that happen? Have you
gone into business for yourself or Sc
cured a divorce?"
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
hard ali day


Huh, said Mr. Peeved you we'll that all for
amt going for Easter fa I'm poorpoorer
than !ob I'm the all
and it's o. the money proposition
why John reorted Mrs Pecved Indignantly how dare you?
You're
and then when be nice nasty things
thought this determined that thereafter would
always keep and be gentle and But it's
be pleasant without accusing Of
motves-as mercenay! No. John Peeved when
money ask right andand think you're horrid
say such a thing"
"forrid! Horrid!" We'll believe
it's you know you we'll, Martha Peeved
swallow and solicude You're nice for
that's joke No They've always
grind Nice before OH yesbut nix on the sweetness
where keep supportn EN-
"Now you stop right John Peeved" sobbed his wife
such cruel things wanted to try
s-smoohy home here. thnk
ouarreing Jackie bad example, and l think"
"Aw forget said Mr. Peeved gente Stop
nd buck up Pm wiin' to believe you, only" me-
interrupted youthful from the doorway the
girl from the dssmakes says much longer do her
before with that money She's
gettn tired"
Mr. snickered.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
BOSSING THE CAT

Mrs. Piokham-James, did you put
the cat out?
James-He hasn't been in all day,
dear.
Mrs. Pickham-Then bring him in and
put him out again; we've got to show
that beast we're his superfors.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
PROOF POSITIVE

Mrs. De Pretty-HorrorsI That woman
who just passed is a young man in dis
guise.
Husband-Well! well! How do you
know?
Mrs. De. Pretty-she looked at my
face instead Of my dress.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
The Southern View
March ~, 1851 "wednesday

Under the heading. Military Forces
of Virginia Increasing" a Richmond
newspaper carries the following item
Of news from SpottsylvanIa county:
''On the morning OF the 18th instant
Mrs. George Mastin, Of this county,
gave birth to three children-all boys
active and well formed, Weighing
between sixteen and eighteen
pOunds"
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
MEANT 1t. TOO

Caller-Bessie. what did your sisteI
say when you told her was here?
Bessie-She said Great Heavens!
That bore here againl'
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
The Northern View
March e. 1sa1 lWedne.harl

News from Pensacola has been
anxiously expected all day, as there
is reason to fear that the secession
leaders there may have opened fire
upon the United States ships ordered
to reinforce Lieutenant Slemmer. The
United States officers have strict or
ders not to provoke a conflict.
About six hundred and fifty men
are now on the payroll at our navy
yard. The Pawnee and Pensacola
are being repaired and fitted out
The southern commissioners state
that they have information of the
evacuation of Fort Sumter.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
GOES FOR SOME TOBACCO
Say, pa?"

Say, pa?"
We'll. what is it?'
PA, what is alfalfa?'
Its a slang term for -whiskers,
son." replied the city man, as he
resumed his novel.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
LIGHT UP THE DEMITAsSE

Latewed-Gee! This coffee tastes
funny! What did you do to it?f
Mrs. Latewed-Why, 1 heard you
tell papa you liked your tobacco best
with your coffee, so I put some In.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
OR THE DEAD ONES

What are your favorite poets, Mr..
Editor?"
Those with the writer's cramp."
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
SHE HOLDS 1T UP TO THE
Woman Who Picks Flaws
Loretta's Looking Glass

color blind. She really must be!
Her slippers scream at her gown"
Naturally your companion looks
down and sees how admirably you
are shod.
The fertility OF your mind in de-
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
Shake Before Taking

There's the drop in the bucket,
And the drop of the hat,
The drop in the market
And drops such as that;
But there's no drop so sudden,
And none that gives such.
A lasting impression
AS your first DROP TOO MUCH.
The Washington times., 1911-03-27
Mr.. PEEVED PROTESTS
Against Sweetness That
Goeth Before Touch
TO HIS PATIENT WIFE

RE you going to the club tonight, John, dear?"
asked Mrs. Peeved in gently socitous tone,
nervously thrusting her needle in and out of her
embroidery.
Triumph, l dunno" answered Mr. Peeved,
biting the end off cigar and glancing at his wife
suspciously. 'Why?'
"Oh, nothing, dearie" said Mrs Peeved hum
ming a little tune. Il just thought maybe I'd run
over and see Mary Smith if you wanted to go out.
| don't want you to feel you have to stay home on
my account. It-er-isn't good for man to be
tied down all evening when he has to work so
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-06-24

meeting was held in Hermiston. At
this meeting H. G.. Newport, Mrs.
Sayer and S. Peterson were elected
directors and John A. Donovan clerk.
At a meeting held August 10th, the
clerk was instructed to make ar
rangements with the boards of dist
riots 6. 5, 61 and S4 for a meeting
at which a division of the assets and
liabilities of the territory included in
the new district was to be made.
At a meeting of the board Septem-
Der goth, 1906, Miss Mae Skinner
was employed as teacher at a salary
Of $50 per month. At an earlier
meeting it was decided to have eight
months of school the first year, be-
ginning October 1st.
At a meeting of the board Septem-
Der 29th, it was decided to purchase
six full and two back seats to fur
nish the school room.
January 7th, 1907. the board voted
70 remove the partition from the
school building and order one dozen
more seats.
At a meeting Of all voters April
29th, 1907, the site where the present
building stands was selected. Fol-
lowing this the first unit of the pres
cnt building was erected. This was
a building Of four rooms, but soon
proved to be inadequate and last
year the additional nine rooms were
added. In the meantime it was neces-
sary to rent outside rooms to accom-
modate the rapidly increasing num-
Der of pupils.
The first gear there was one teach
er. For the coming term opening
september 5th Of this year there will
be eleven teachers and possibly
twelve.
The first annual report Of the clerk
is also interesting when compared
with the report made last Monday
especially when the short time be-
tween the two are considered. The
first report is dated the Third Mon
day in June, 1907, and the last was
made the third Monday in June
1911, four years afterward. In the
first report it was shown that the
district received from the county
school fund $345.00. while last year
the district received $1,s10.00. From
the state fund they received 5000
against 1899 last year. The district
tax last year amounted to s7,909.95
while there was no tax in 1907, but
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1911-06-24
HERM|STON SCHOOLS
SHOW STEADY GROWTH
FACULTY INCREASES FROM
ONE TEACHER TO TWELVE
Property Valued at $4,000 Replaces
That Worth $50 Less Than -Four
Years Ago
Especial CorrespondenceJ

Hermiston, Ore, June 24.-The fol-
lowing will give an idea Of the re-
markable growth of the Hermiston
school district during the past four
years:
August 9Th, 1906, the first school