Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-05

them. cautious gent Indeed, 81 will say
l have no wifee, but the one who writes
to me 1 will write to her l want good
wifee ! will not send no likeness to no
woman at all. l will not have it taken by
no means. But / will write letter if
you will send me name of woman"
1T is very pleasant to get ones name
and picture in the newspapers" said
Champ Clark, but there is an old saying
that there Is no rose without a thorn. In
proportion to the number of times your
name and picture appear In print, the
number Of letters from people outside of
your own district increases. One of the
strangest letters ! ever received was from
a man In a distant state, whom I had
never seen. He asked me to send him by
return mail a complete copy Of all the
Congressional Records printed since the
foundation of the government / wrote
him that l had been trying for len years
to save up the $500 1t required to own a.
set for my own use
ION another occasion received a letter
from a man who said he wanted noe to
write him two humorous lectures, each
an hour and half in length, and send
them by return mail I wrote back that
I could not write humorous lectures like
you sell calico, by the yard, and that l
might not feel like writing one for twelve
months; that 1 am like the Quakers and
have TO wait until the spirit moves me.
Uncle" Jim Wilson. Secretary of Agr1-
culture. comes in for large share OF
peculiar ep stiles from all over the coun-
try. AS Seer tary Wilson is SO near to
the hearts of the farming populace OF the
United States, many or the letters ne
receives are personal and worded In
the most familiar manner possible; but
they are not freaks. At the time the de-
partment was sending out many thou
sand copies daily of what was Familiarity
known as Uncle Sans Cook Book
scores of amusing letters were received.
In one of them 1.-The most honorable
Secretary" was most respectfully re-
quested' to send cook book, and to
mark in blue pencil such as are your
favorites. also the one Mrs. Wilson pre-
fers." Friendly interest in ones neigh
hors was also shown In the request Of
another writer who asked that so-and-
so be sent one. as she is going to be
married soon and will sure need it"
One man became so enthusiastic that he
Informed the department that he thought
''it much more sensible for the govern
rnent to be gctt ng out such book than
II was to be spending money for auto
mobiles for Uncle Joe Cannon
DR.. Harvey w. Wiley. chief chemist of
the Department of Agriculture, is flooded
with scores of letters Of all kinds.
One seeker after knowledge asked
for a certain formula for making glue,
which he had tried in vain to find out for
himself, and then added:
~ am not expecting to have any par
ticuar use for the knowledge. but still
I want TO know. | am pretty much
like the old man was about his boy who
got drown in mill pond. He said he
cared nothing ins particular about the
boy, for he was not much account any
way, but he was really anxious to know
how the fool managed to drown himself
What DR.. Wiley does not 90 IS TO issue
formulas FOR specific purposes, but one
sufferer from too much flesh was evident
ly under the impression that he did, and
sent In the following plea:
please, please tell me If there are any
physicians using your treatment for re-
ducing fat people. | know If YOU had
fifty pounds OF extra fat and life was
almost a burden to you you would take
pity on poor woman and lp her out"
A woman DESTROYS OF securing some
seeds couched her request in the follow
ing terms. using post card:
1.-The time for singing birds has come,
also the time for planting seeds. 1 would
plant some Ii had any"
Underneath all the humor in the let
ters l receive said DR.. Wiley. there
runs thirst for knowledge, no matter
expressed. And while the humorous side
is the one that strikes me first. l remem-
Der that the letters were most likely writ
TO secure what they thought Uncle Sam
could give them
Commissioner Fred bennett Of the
these letters. for he is not only looked