The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-08-26

What were the sensations of that
long ago human who ate the first
oyster? asks The st. Louis Republic.
What were the feelings of the man
who first of all drank bowl Of fer
mented fruit juice?
What was the standing in the tribe
OF the first merry jester, Of the man
who perpetuated the original Seven
Jokes. that are still knocking about
the world in million nimsy dis
guisesP
He Has No Monument.
There are lot of ugly and inartistic
monuments in existence. They keep
green the memories OF certain individ-
uals who were supposedly great her
oes. The greatest hero of them all,
however, has no monument, no mem
orial OF stone or brass. He lived a
long, long time ago, before monuments
became fashionable. The man who
ate the first oyster. who felt its cool
and pulsating folds slip down his
esophagus, was a man Of awsome
courage,
An oyster is an ugly and loathsome
looking thing. They look poisonous,
menaoing and dangerous. OF all forms
OF sea food they appear least likely to
agree with the human digestive or
gans The squeamish individual nat
urally recoils, even yet, from the
oyster In the raw and uncoolxed state.
They have q habit of turning a cop
perish green under undue provocation.
Nerve Colossal.
They look like agony, slow torture
and lingering death, until you get
used to their appearance. Consider,
then. how courageous that gentleman
of the long ago must have been when
he tilted the first shell-clad denizen
of the deep to bis lips and gulped him
down.
Possibly there was a famine in the
land and the little green melons that
grew on the hilltops over the tribal
cave village had failed Maybe the
fish had gone out to sea on some mys-
ferrous migration and gaunt hunger
was stalking through the bone-fioored
caves.
Any way, some of the hairy gem
tlemen went wandering along the
shallow water of the beach and found
this forbidding looking bivalve that
now figures so largely in the bills of
fare from the glittering restaurant to
the church supper that is given to
raise money for a new carpet
The first doing of a thing takes
nerve. After 1t has been accomplished
once it Is no longer a great feat. AS
soon as the man had gulped the oyster
in plain sight of his tribal brethren
every one Of them was able and will
ing to do the same thing. Doubtless
the whole community straightway
went oyster dredging.
Great as was the civilization OF the
Aztecs and the Incas, they know moth
ing about q wheel. Some lazy man of
white blood was undoubtedly the frst
OF all the children OF men to figure
out this circular thing that has done
more than any other one thing to make
the white race dominant.
From Rolling Log.
!. Where did the idea come from7 The
legs Of all animals In the world are
a more or less complicated set Of
levers with joints In them. The swift
est thing on feet has no part of its
bodily mechanism that In any way re-
sembles d wheel.
Some indolent and dreamy savage
must have watched a los roll down hill
or stone with rounded corners 90
wl1irling down mountain side. II he
had not been lazy he would never have
thought OF decreasing his own burdens
BY making . circular thing that would
roll.
Picture him sitting at the door Of
his cave earnestly chipping away at .
fiat stone with hole tn its center. He
is trying to round or a few Of the
many sharp corners that jut OUT from
the embryo wheel. Els neighbors jeer
at him between mouthfuls Of whale
ateak Or cave bear gristle. He Ii ac-
counted the tribal fool and the wise
wink NJ they pass. He has great
dream Of hitching his oxen In front
of two ar these round things and GO
Ing merrlly along. rolling over the
prairie on the next tribal migration.
lit liz d wonderfully rude thing when
1t ii finished, but Ii better than drag
ging his household wealth over the
plains and through the rocks on two
poles, ais the sioux Indians did when