Evening journal., 1911-10-12
GUNPOWDER AND KID
THIS DATE IN HISTORY.

Is. o., began the relgnlng power
OF the Chow Dynasty in China.
1t kept on reigning for about nine
hundred years, and that was some
wet spell, believe us.
The Chows were the inventors
OF one of the fifty-seven varieties
of Chow-Chow, which our cook Is
presently making out in the
kitchen From the odors emanaJ-
ing therefrom, we are forced 70
conclude that she is utilizing
onions in its construction. Hence
these tears.
We were much entertained by the
story printed yesterday of COW
which became possessed Of the wan
derlust down at King and Front
streets, and in her violent efforts to
seek the green pastures beset a Meth
odist clergyman and carried away his
umbrella.
During this exciting adventure we
were in Philadelphia consorting with
eminent scriveners, and we're perforce,
unwillingly absent at the time Of the
ceremony. However, we, too. met
with umbrellaism adventure, for in
the office of one of our supposed
friends our rain-shield disappeared,
and has been seen no more of men.
II simply vanished. There are no two
ways about II. However, we are 10th
to suspect the COW.
Concerning this bovine kleptoman-
lac, though, we are pleased to note
that when she was finally cornered
down in the Wilson Line Company's
yards, word was sent to the police and
the City Dogcatcher was dispatched
to the scene of the activities. Did
/ she wait for any mere dog catcher 10
corral a COW of noble breed? She
did not. She promptly ran away and
got stuck in a marsh where we hear
she was done to death at the hands OF
a painter
They are very sad--such things az
that, but the moral is plain. The
story teaches that any person who
steals an umbrella will eventually suf-
fer punishment. We hope this reaches
the understanding Of the one who
carried away our parasol. II it would
do any good we would sic the dog
catcher on him.
Mr.. Arnold Bennett covers the situa-
tion delightfully."- in single phrase
"I took a malicious delight, as / al
ways do, in setting down facts which
are opposed to sentimental falsities.
BY the way, did Maine go wet OF
dry!
And if folks must have daffydils
whv not have them as we'll done as
these from the Boston Transcript?
Now, IL the file in a rasping tone
should call the auger bore.
And the monkey wrench nut from
the wise, would the plane just smooth
: things DER?
If the house was full and the waite
: drunk, would the hose reel all round
1 And IL the waters could speak a.
! they flow, how would Long lslan'
a
If you board a spell at shore hote
l is the billow that you pay?
If a single car weighs several tons
how much does the whole subway?
Can a scavenger be a cheerful MAJ
3 when he's always in the dumps?
If the water pipes in a dance hal
burst, would the dancers use thei
pumps7
If a Harvard oarsman rows In
$ she'll. in what does the salmon roe?
II no grass is grown in the froze
= North, what then does the Eskimo?
:, If a gun missed fire would a para
. chute? This stuff gives me pain.
II Franklin Park is a beautifu
:. :. spot, why is Jamaica Plain?
= II bullfrog wore hobble ski
7 would the lily pad-and bark?
4 If a thief broke into a drug stor
do you think that the dogwood bark
. If a parrot can swear can crocu
too? Enough ere we all grow i'll!
This is the frivolous sort Of thin
d that is dubbed a Daffydill.
r.. S. Won Innes.