El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-04-03
sB, scudamor. jarvis /.
TV7E WE'RE all gathered round I
~ the mess table on Christ


NIE WE'RE all gathered rouno
NJ the mess table on Christ
mas eve RECALLING the passing
hours with story and song when the
following remarkable yarn was told
by private Hanson, strapping six
footer, whose handsome face and ready
wit kept him constantly in hot water.
Il Wus dom servant to Capt. Fitz
Gerald some years ago when he got
word from old Nissus Bellairs, mother
of Miss Elsie, that the captain was
sweet upon, to come down for Christ
mas. and bring lord Calvertson, a mess
mate of the captains whom the old
lady had never seen. The master WIS
pretty sore, because ne knew it was
really Calvertson and not him that was
wanted, but he went anyhow, and for
got to ask Calvertson, just to spite
her.
Well we got there all right and I
was just ordering the flunkeys in the
hall to take the baggage upstairs when
old lady Ballairs backs me into cor
ner and greets me as lord Calvertson.
She talked like a boiler factory and
you could see by the way the old girl
was nodding her earrings and swapping
her eyes that she was feeling nd end
set up at having a real live lord in the
house. and 1t suddenly struck me that
Capt F9tz would get the credit for it,
and might be able to back winner
himself on the strength of it So 1 de-
cided to let things rip.
Have you just arrived?' ses she. I
suppose Capt Fitz Gerald came with
your
SSH ses I. getting playful and
tipping her the wink. I've played a lit
tie prank on him. told him I couldn't
come, just for a lark, and then
sneaked off and followed him-so he
doesn't know I'm here
Ha, ha, hay she says with a laugh
like tearing a. yard of oilcloth. What
a splendid jokei I'm afraid you're
very naughty man, lord Calvertson.
"Ho, go hon with YOU ses I.
and, seeing my chanst, / slipped past
her and made for Capt Fitz Gerald's
room.
you'd never believe the way that
unsrateful Teller behaved He swore
and cussed, and threatened to chuck
me out of the window. At last. how
ever. he began to see things in the
proper light Lord Calyertson was go
ing away directly after Christmas to
take up a staff appointment in Africa,
SO there was no chanst Of the old lady
meeting him, and if we. all played our
parts proper Capt. Fitz Gerald had
very good chanst of squaring things
ND with MIS-. bGlld1IS anu Scll-AS a
free hand with Miss Elsie. So. after
telling me how to behave at dinner
which 1 knew very well. having wait
ed at mess often enough-and warning
me not to drink ampagne-which 1
meant TO dove went to the droring
room, where I was hooked up with
Miss Jessie Bellairs while the captain
had Miss Elsie.
Il got through that night all Sir
Garnet, and no error, and the speech
1 made was applauded no end, though
it was more or less spoilt by Capt.
Fitz Gerald getting me by the coat
tails and trying to haul me down every
time. 1 called Mrs. Bellairs mother
The next morning being Christmas.
1 got up feelingsmerry and bright, and
wanted to do someone a good turn,
kissed all the housemaids under the
mistletoe in the hall.
You've no idea how rapid I got on
with Miss Jessie that day Before lunch
1 was patting her playful like; during
lunch 1 threw an orange at her, and