davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
No SIanq for Her

Slip me brace of cackles!" or
dered the chesty-looking man with a
bored air, as he perched on the first
stool In the lunchroom.
"a what?" asked the waitress, as
she placed a glass of water before
him.
Adam and Eve fat on their backs!
pair of sunnysiders." said the young
man in an exasperated tone
you got me, kid" returned the
waitress. "Watcha want2'
Eggs up" said the young man.
Eggs the kind that come before
the hen or after, never knew which"
why didn't you say so in the first
placer" asked the waitress. You'd a
had EN- by this time"
We'll, of all things" said the
young man.
Il knew what he was dfivin' at all
the time began the waitress as the
young man departed. But he's one
of them fellers that thinks they can
get by with anything. He don't know
that they're using plain English now
in restaurants"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Fidelity to Parole.

Judge Grain of the Court Of Cen
eral Sessions has just held a recep-
ton more worthy of note than any
ball, banquet or other high function
of the season. 1t was held in his
courtroom at night In response to
its summons came 1T men and wom-
en-, some old, some young every one
of whom was a victor over some form
of temptation; an example of what
human faith can do to help human
weakness to redeem itself and be
strong
Each Of the company had been con-
victed Of some first offense against
the law, and each had been permitted
to go out on parole of future good
behavior. Each had kept the faith.
The word was as good as a bond
Those who might have gone down in
the struggle had found a way to rise
and fight again. They were all able
to report good work done and bright
prospects ahead.
Time was when no one was trusted
on his word save men Of high degree.
Fidelity to parole was deemed
princely virtue. Perhaps it is There
was nothing in Judge Grains recep-
ton to disprove it.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
PRAYER WITHOUT RESULT
Boys Patience Is Exhausted After
Frequent Petitions to Throne
of Grace.

A young man who is prominent In
church work in Philadelphia tells this
about his nephew:
Harold is the youngsters name, and
next door lives another boy by the
name of Dewey. They are each seven
their age, are disposed to get into mis-
chief as often as possible. Several
days ago they found mans coat lying
on the front pavement while the own
er was fixing a gas main. From the
pockets of the coat the two boys alb
stracted several tickets, and when
Harolds mother found it out she made
him return the tickets and explained
the sin which he had committed,
warning him to pray that he be for
given that night He obeyed, and
while on his knees added prayer for
Dewey as well.
The next night Harold's mother was
in the next room when he SAID his
prayers, and she heard him ask God to
forgive Dewey for stealing a piece Of
cake. On the following evening he
again was moved to ask forgiveness
for his friend, this time for stealing
three pieces OF candy. Apparently his
patience was exhausted, for the next
evening his mother was in the adjoin-
fng room when he offered his evening
prayer, and this is what she heard:
Gosh darn it, God, have done the
best 1 can for Dewey. 1 guess you
will have to watch him yourself
Philadelphia Record.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06

There is an Antaeus in every one
of us and in the whole Of us which
needs the EARTH" says Henry Dem
Arrest Lloyd in his posthumous book.
"a grandmother was spreading before
the vision Of beloved child a picture
of the beauties of heaven with its
gates of pearl and its pavements of
gold. What said the scornful boy,
unpactivated, no mud?' There spoke
the real philosopher We are earth
animals. and we need contact with
all the aspects of nature, human ma
ture, and other nature. They who
feed wholly on white bread and the
tenderloin and the sweetness and
light of the best people, art for the
arts sake, cannot get phosphates
enough and soon develop the ricketts,
The man l heard say he liked to eat
with the common people once in
while, the woman you heard say that
she thought 1t was her duty to as
sociate with the middle class, confess
the approach Of extinction. They are
losing touch with the source of all per
sonal and social power"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
The LEAGUE of PoIiteness,

The League of Politeness has been
formed in Berlin. 1t aims at inculcat-
ing better manners among the people
of Berlin. 1t was founded upon the
initiative Of Fraulein Cecelie Meyer,
who was inspired by an existing or
ganization in Rome. In Difference to
the parent organization the Berlin
league has chosen the italian motto,
PRO gentilezza." This will be en-
blazoned upon an attractive little
medal worn where Germans are ac-
customed to wear the insignia of or
ders. The idea is that a GLANCE at
the "talisman" will annthilate any in
clination to indulge in bad temper or
discourteous language. Amy polite
person" Is eligible for membership.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Why He LAUGHED.


Miss Matte belonged to the old
south, and she was entertaining a
guest of distinction.
On the morning following his arrival
she told Tillie, the little colored maid,
) to take pitcher of fresh water to
Mr.. Firman's room, and to say that
Miss Matte sent him her compliments,
and that If he wanted a bath, the
bathroom was at his service.
When Title returned she said:
II tor him, Miss Matte, en- he
laughed fit to bus hisself."
why did he laugh, Tillie?"
81 dunno"
What did you tell him?"
Gus what you toll me to-"
'Tillie, tell me exactly what you
said"
II banged de doah, and said Mr.
Firman, Miss Matte sends you her lub,
and she says, Now you can get up
and wash yo'self!" -Lippincott's Mag
azine.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
lo, the Rich Indian.

The per capita wealth of the Indian
is approximately $3.50, that for other
Americans is only a little more than
$1,000 The lands owned by the In
dams are rich in oil, timber and other
natural resources Of all kinds. Some
of the best timber land in the United
States is owned by Indians.
The value of their agricultural lands
runs up in the millions. The ranges
which they possess support about $780,
600 sheep and cattle, owned by lessees,
bringing in a revenue Of more than
$272,06o to the various tribes besides
providing feed for more than 100000
head of horses, cattle, sheep and goats
belonging to the Indians themselves.
Practically the only asphalt deposits
In the United States are on Indian
lands.-Red Man.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
New Process of Staining Glass.

The art of coloring glass has been
lost and rebound, jealousy guarded
and maliciously stolen so many times
in the history of civilization that it
seems almost impossible to say any
thing new on glass staining. Yet a
process has been discovered for ma
king the stained glass used in windows
which is a departure from anything
known at the present time What the
Venetians and the Phoenicians knew
of it we cannot tell.
The glass first receives its design in
mineral colors and the whole is then
fired in a heat so intense that the col
oring matter and the glass are indis-
solubly fused The most attractive
feature of this method is the sur
face acquires a peculiar pebbled char
acter in the heat, so that when the
glass is in place the lights are delight
fully soft and mellow.
In making a large window in many
shades each panel is separately mould
ed and bent and the sections are as
sembled in a metal frame
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Where He Was Queer.

The negro, on occasions, displays a
fine discrimination in the choice Of
words.
Who's the best Whitewater In
town." inquired the new resident.
ale Hall am bond Artist with a
whitewash brush, sah," answered the
colored patriarch eloquently.
We'll, tell him to come and white
wash my chicken house tomorrow"
Uncle Jacob shook his head dubi-
ously.
"Ah dom believe, sab, ah'd engage
Ale Hall to whitewash a chicken
house. sab"
why, didn't you say he was good
whitewasher?"
yes. sab, powerful good white
washer, sab; but mighty queer about
a chicken house, sab, mighty Queer!"
-Mack's National Monthly.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
HIRAM CARPENTERS WONDER
Full CURE OF PSORIASIS.

'T have been afflicted for twenty
years with an obstinate skin disease,
called by some NJ. DIS. psoriasis, and
others leprosy, commencing on my
scalp; and in spite of all l could do,
with the help of the most skilful doc
tors, it slowly but surely extended I'M
til q year ago this winter it covered
my entire person in the form of dry
scales. For the last three years | have
been unable to do any labor, and
suffering intensely all the time. Every
morning there would be nearly dust
painful Of scales taken from the sheet
on my bed, some of them half as large
as the envelope containing this letter.
In the latter part of winter my skin
commenced cracking open. I tried
everything, almost, that could be
thought Of, without any relief. The
18th of June l started West, in hopes
1 could reach the Hot Springs. I
reached Detroit and was so low ]
thought l should have to go to the
hospital, but finally got star as Lam
sing, Mich, where l had a sister liv-
ing. One DR.. treated me about
two weeks, but did me no good. All
thought I had but short time to live.
1 earnestly prayed to die. Cracked
through the skin all oyer my back,
across my ribs, arms, hands, limbs;
feet badly swollen; toe-nails came off;
fnger-nails dead and hard as bone;
hair dead, dry and lifeless as old
straw. o my God! how did suffer.
my sister wouldn't give up; said,
We will try Cuticura.' Some was ap-
piled to one hand and arm. Eureka!
there was relief; stopped the terrible
burning sensation from the word go.
They Immediately got Cuticura Re
solvent, Ointment and Soap. l COM
menced by taking Cuticura Resolvent
three time a day after meals; had a
bath once a day, water about blood
heat; used Cuticura Soap freely; ap-
piled Cuticura Ointment morning and
evening. Result: returned to my
home in just six weeks from the time
l left, and my skin as smooth as this
sheet of paper. Hiram E. Carpenter,
Henderson, N. Y"
The above remarkable testimonial
was written January 10, 1880, and is
republished because of the perman-
ency of the cure. Under date of April
%, 1910, Mr. Carpenter wrote from his
present home, CLIO Walnut st. So,
Lansing, Mich: 81 have never suf-
fered return of the psoriasis and al
though many years have passed l have
not forgotten the terrible suffering
endured before using the Cuticura
Remedies"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
MosIem Traditions.

Ramadan is the month exalted by
Moslems above all others. In that
month the Mountaineering to Mos
lem tradition-was brought down by
Gabriel from heaven and delivered to
men in small sections In that month,
Mohammed was accustomed to retire
from Mecca to the cave of Hira, for
prayer and meditation. In that month
Abraham, Moses and other prophets
received their divine revelations. In
that month the doors of heaven are
always open, the passages to hell are
shut, and the devils are chained" So
run the traditions.-The Christian
Herald.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Home Thought.

1T must have been frightful," said
Mrs. Bossim to her husband, who was
in the earthquake Tell me what
was your first thought when you
awakened in your room at the hotel
and heard the alarm"
MY first thought was of you," an
swered Mr.. Bossim.
How nobel"
Yes. First thing 1 knew, a vase off
the mantel caught me or the ear;
then a chair whfrled in my direction,
and when 1 jumped to the middle of
the room four or five books and
framed picture struck me all at once"
Even after saying that he affected
to wonder what made her so angry for
the remainder of the evening. -Mack's
National Monthly.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Add to Cost Of llvinu,

The American Magazine reprints a
letter which was sent to the Massa-
chusetts cost of living commission 1t
goes as follows:
ut seems to me that the elimination
of waste is nearly impossible in house
holds where there are numerous serv-
ants; at least 1 have found it so,
with only one, and the waste rises in
geometrical progression with the num-
Der employed. have now been doing
my own cooking for nearly year and
l feed my family twice as well on
about two-thirds the cost. large
part of the saving comes In the eco
nomical use of meat. / make de-
licious dinner with a few scraps of
meat that a cook would give to the
dog
Then I depend a good deal on
soups, which l invent to suit my
larder. A few cold baked beans, with
a little tomato and bit of meat on a
bone, or little left over gravy, make
soup that all eat with much pleasure
and it is so nourishing that it goes far
to make the dinner Most people do
not understand how different a soup
Is when it has simmered a good many
hours. The soup that has been boiled
fast couple of hours will taste fiat
and uninteresting, whereas the same
soup five hours later will have such
a delicious blend of f1avors that all
you know is that it Is nice without
being able ta distinguish the ingre-
dents. Again it is time that counts.
Cooks waste the coffee and tea hor-
ribly. Mix the coffee with cold water
the night before with an eggshell
and bring 1t to a boil in the morning
and you do not need a great deal for
a good cup of coffee The tea in the
kitchen is piled into the teapot and
thrown out with but little of the good
ness extracted. Another frightful
waste Is the coal. l use less than
half as much as any girl l ever had
and my stove bakes better. l never
complain of the draught, as she does
or did after burning all the goodness
out Of her coal in the first hour after
lighting"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
One From the Cashier.

The harmless customer leaned
across the cigar counter and smiled
engagingly at the new cashier. As he
handed across the amount his dinner
check called for he ventured bit Of
aimless converse, for he was of that
sort
Funny" said he, how easy it is to
spend money"
WELL" snapped the cashier as she
fed his fare to the register, ''if money
was intended for you to hold on to the
mint would be turning out coins with
handles on EN-"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Hoa She Learned.

The mother of a family of three
small children was discussing their
comparative precocity with a friend.
John was very slow at everything"
she said, referring to her Oldest. tom
was a little better, and Edith, the
baby, is the smartest of all. She picks
up everything quick as can be-"
Master John, who had been listen
ing, now contributed his share of the
conversation.
"Humph!" he exclaimed. Il know
why her learns so quick. It's cause
her has US and we didn't have u.s."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
The "Countrv churchvard ~

Those who recall Gray's "Elegy In
a Country Churchyard" will remember
that the peaceful spot where "the
is identified with ST. Giles, Stoke
Poges, Buckinghamshire. In the pro-
sale pages of recent issue of the
Gazette there appears an order in
council providing that ordinary inter
ments are henceforth forbidden in the
churchyard
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Economy.

The late former Governor Allen D.
Gambler Of Georgia was famous in
the south for his quaint humor.
Governor Gambler" said a Gaines
vile man, "once abandoned cigars for
a pipe at the beginning of the year.
He stuck to his resolve till the years
end. Then he was heard to say:
"'By actual calculation, l have
saved by smoking a pipe instead OF
cigars this year s20S. But where Is
it?'"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06

Twice, as the bus slowly wended It's
way up the steep Cumberland Gap, the
door at the rear opened and slammed.
At first those inside paid little heed;
but the third time demanded 20 know
why they should be disturbed in this
fashion.
whist" cautioned the driver,
doan't spake SO loud; she'll overhear
US"
Who"
"The mare Spake low! Shure, Dim
desavin tn crayture. Every tonne
she ears tn door close, she thinks
won O. yez is gettin' down ter walk
up tn Till, an that sort O. raises her
sperrits Success Magazine.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Not What He Asked For.

A small boy hurried into the corner
butcher shop and told the proprietor
his mother wanted nice, tender tur-
key for Thanksgiving, and she wanted
it dressed. The butcher selected just
such bird from the lot in the win
dow, and said, with satisfaction:
Here's dandy, my boy-just what
your mother wants."
No, it ANTI" returned the youth.
"That turkey hasn't any clothes on. -
Judge.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Economv in Art,

"Of course" said Mr.. Sirius Barker,
ct want my daughter to have some
sort of an artistic education. l think
I'll have her study singing"
"Why not art or literature?"
cart spoils canvas and paint and
literature wastes reams Of paper.
Singing merely produces temporary
disturbance of the atmosphere.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Thanks to Burnt Cork.

Gosh! But the colored race Is a.
comm to the front fast!" whispered
innocent Uncle Hiram, at the vaude-
vile show, as the black-face comedian
was bolsterously applauded.
Yes, indeed" smiled the city man;
anyone can see that that fellow is a
self-made negro"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

If you'll make up your mind to be
Contented with your lot
And with the optimists agree
That troubles soon forgot
You'll be surprised to find. I guess,
Despite misfortune's darts,
What constant springs of happiness
Lie hid in human hearts:
What sunny CLEANS and golden dreams
The passing years unfold,
How soft and warm the lovelisht beams
When you are growing old.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
The Siunificant Wink,

Il think" said the weary stranger,
that I'll go somewhere and take 40
winks."
The hack driver looked puzzled
whats the trouble?"
81 was wondering whether You
wanted me to drive you to hotel or
a drug store"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Acted Like the Genuine,

1.-THE landlady says that new board
er Is foreign nobleman."
Bogus, I'll bet"
ooh, I don't know. He may be the
real thing. He hasn't paid her a cent
as yet"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
The Fatherhood of God.

The doctrine of the Fatherhood of
God is designed to teach us our de-
pendence upon him for our daily
needs. both common and spiritual We
are all benefactors of his general
blessings. We all move, live, and
have our being in him.-Rev. A. ].
Henry, Congregattonalist, Brooklyn.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
More Human Nature.

Grouchly-By denying myself three
ten-cent cigars daily for the past 20
years figure that l have saved $2,190.
Moxley-Is that so?"
Grouchly-Yes. Say, let me have a
chew of your tobacco, will you?
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
A Retraction.

"You shouldn't have called that man
a pig" said the conciliatory man.
That's right" replied the Vindictive
person There is no sense in imply
ing that he's worth 40 cents a pound
to anybody"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Mrs RooseveIt an Econoriat-

s.
Mrs. Roosevelt is said to have kept
her gowns from one year to the next
and even the third year, and yet was
always beautifully dressed. The best
dressed woman in London is said to
be Mrs. Keppel, who wears her gowns
more than one season, having them
made over for the second year, as her
income does not allow of a great va
riety of gowns.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
In the Class.

sAre the social reformers to extend
their movements against the Turkish
bath"
why should they?"
why shouldn't they7 Isn't 1t a
sweating process?"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
.avIna Hin, Something.

you wish to marry my only daugh-
terT' murmured the millionaire.
"WcEfd 5ou take from me all that l
have to solace me in my old age?'
"Oh, no." said the duke. 1--WE want
you to keep at least $4,000"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06

Were you nervous when you pro-
posed to your wife?" asked the senti.
mental person.
NO" replied Mr.. Meekton; but II
I could have foreseen the next ten
years I would have been"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Free Cure for rheumatism and Bone

Botanic Blood Balm (B. B. b. cures
the worst cases of rheumatism, bone
purifying the blood and destroying the
uric acid in the blood Thousands of
cases cured by B. B. B. after all other
treatments failed Price Sl.OO per large
bottle at drug stores, with complete direc..
TONS Large sample free by writing Blood
Balm Co., Atlanta, Ga, Department B.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
A Medical Compromise

You had two doctors in consrlta-
ton last night. didn't your"
Yes"
What did they say?"
We'll, one recommended one thing
and the other recommended some
thing else"
"A deadlock, eh?"
mo, they finally told me to mix
emf
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
At the Door,

yes, my mind is made up. Tonight
1 shall ask her to be my wife. B-b-y
Jove, l h-hope she's out!"-Womans
Home Companion.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06

Sometimes you must go away from
your surroundings and get a perspec-
tive view of what lies about you In
order to see it's real beauty.-ReV. J.
o. Hayes, True Life, San Jose.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06

Those who admire knowledge for its
own sake ought to wish to see it's
elements made accessible to all.-Sir
William Herschel.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06

DR.. Pierce's Pellets, small, sugar-coated,
easy to take as candy, regulate and invig-
crate stomach, liver and bowels. Do not
grippe.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-01-06
Birth of knowledge.

Whether it be science, in civics, in
morals, or in religion, knowledge be-
gins with faith.-Bishop F. S. Spald,
ing, Episcopalian. Salt Lake City.