Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1911-05-04
BALD HEADS
VS.. WHISPERS

"A0 " bhNdtei uelilment 70
man than bald head is stiIl a moot
ed question. -Four of the ablest men
in public life debated the subject be-
fore the National Press Club here
tonight. The bout was under Mar
Quis OF Queensbury rules and when
the bell rang the refree threw up his
hands in dispair
The bald headed side of the ques-
tion was in the hands Of Senator Rob-
ert L. Taylor of Tennessee and Rep
resentative Nicholas Longworth of
Ohio. The chin curtains found their
champions in former Senator Carter
Of Montana and Uncle Joe" Can
non Of Illinois. Tyler and Longworth
entered the ring amid cheers. Their
hairless domes sparkling beneath the
radiance of myriad electric lights.
Senator Carter and "Uncle Joe" came
with their whiskers combed for the
fray The shouts that greeted them
We're deafening
"Dr. Pure Food" Wiley of the de-
partment of agriculture was chosen
timekeeper, and each contestant was
allowed 10 minutes. Scott c. Bone
represented the press club as refree
during the hostilities. but gave way
to Speaker Clark at the end
Representative Longworth. the
first speaker, said he did not believe
that hair on the head was worth
two on the chin. Neither was he will
ing to assume that bald head, pro-
vided he had been considered bald.
was in any sense a handicap either in
public or in private life. Mr.. Long
worth claimed that on his birthday
every man has a choice between hair
and brains His choice. he said, was
apparent.
"The condition Of the disputants
on the other side is utterly nexcus-
able" asserted MT Longworth. In
the olden days whiskers were excus-
able, they were sworn by, but nova
days they are only sworn at
"There is no excuse for such whis-
kers as those that adorn the chin or
chest. OF the former senator from
Montana. l claim that whiskers are
unsanitary, and / appeal to the time
keeper to uphold me"
Senator Carter was introduced as
Exhibit A" for the whiskers.
mo man, said he, "ever volun-
tarily wore a bald head A bald head
is an anliction, standing joke, a
physical inhrmity. We pity, but do
not blame our opponents"
Senator Carter insisted that the
beard" was the real thing.
mo fair maiden" he said. ever
feared promise from a bearded man.
The beard is a badge of manhood. A
bearded man needs only opportunity.
The first man to cut off boards was
Alexander the Great
1T was brutal measure Of war
fare 10 prevent antagonists from
seizing the soldiers by the beard. Let
MS all wear boards and there would
be no warfare in this troubled world
OF ours
There is another thing about the
bald headed man. he naturally goes
to prison without previous prepara-
ton. The subject is ready for the
work. Il takes some trouble to pre-
pare a bearded man for that unfor-
tunate habitation."
Senator Taylor. who was introduc-
ed as an "ivory pated Moses Of the
Tennessee democracy, said that when
Mr.. Cannon was speaker Of the house
he shook pestilence and war from
his horrid beard. He dwelt upon the
nobility cf the bald heads Of the
American eagle circling about them
in the azure atmosphere Coming
down to bald facts, he added:
"Once I had raven tresses," he
said wistfully. "but like the autumn
leaves they left me Ever since
have had horror of hair and SUI
preme contempt for whiskers. On
the other hand, ] have always admir-
ed bald head as a symbol Of purity
and innocence"
Uncle Joe Cannon said he had new
er been funny in his life and least
not consciously so. and quoted from
writer who recently was in Tur-
key and who said the hardest man
he found in the empire had a bald
head. He was the harem guard.
When Speaker Clark was called
upon to settle the dispute. he insist
ed that the reason majority OF
men no longer wear whiskers was
because they we're all trying to look