davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-08-10
HANDY LITTLE GRAPE PICKER
Device is Artificial Thumb Nail, Held
on BY Means of Plate and Makes
Picking Simple.

The thimble device shown in the il.
thumb nail with which to pinch
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-08-10

the Antiseptic powder to be shaken into the shoe
for tired, aching feet, II takes the sting out of corni
and bunions and makes walking n delight, Sole
everywhere, pc. Refuse substitutes. For FREE
trial package, address A. 5. Olmsted, lie Roy. NY
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-08-10

A wise mar may forgive, but only a
fool will forget.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-08-10

To every man is given the oppor
tunity to do something worth while.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-08-10

punches of grapes from the vine. 1t Is
secured TO the thumb by means of a
plate and strap, and makes picking
simple and quick.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-08-10

Ella-She has a rosebud mouth.
Stella-Does that explain her max,
ing SO many flowery speeches?
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21
The Barriers of This Organization Which Prides ltse al the
Same Time Upon Its Exclusiveness and upon
Its Democracy, Seem to Some Applicants
to Have Rusted on Their Hinges

early DAYS of it's existence II hao' Out
about 1850 certain slight changes were
made in both constitution ana py-
laws Giving over the responsibility OF cleo
,ion of new members TO board OF gov
errors. Now the entire board acts WIG"
new name is under consideration.
So keen is the desire to Keep the ciuo
free from "undesirables" that. even aiter
two of it's prominent members nave put
IN" n name and vouched for the owner OF
il he cannot be admitted unless personally
known to at least two of the board
And this was precisely what happened 10
the Congressman from New YORK II ru'''or
be true. He had neglected 10 become per-
sonaly-not casually nor convenuohaly'
but ACCOMPLISHMENTS with two OF these
fifteen autocrats Hence the necessity or
withdrawing his name-without any refiec-
ton upon him.
Obviously a chap can't vouch for some
one he does not know personally ex-
planned a member who talked. when the
time drew near for the consideration OF
the Coneressman's name both men who
backed him were out of town. No action
could possibly be taken in their absence.
Had there been grave reasons for his non
admission his name would never he put up
again. l can state positively that it will
go up again If he so desires. You see.
therefore. it's all nonsense to say he was
blackballed."
From other sources II was learned that
submitted two or three times before he
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21

representatives Of foreign governments have
to be admitted to membership. y mem
Der writing recently in a New York paper
stated that no diplomats were active mem
bers, hut only on the diplomatic list pay
ing half dues and having no real voice i'm
club affairs. one of the original memhers
explained that the list of founders included
several names of men connected with the
legations I'm Washington at that time. Dip
lomats are eligible for active membership,
but, as an international courtesy. pay only
half the regular dues. And because Of the
transitory nature OF their work they are
never appointed TO the board of governors.
A Washington man who has spent most
of his adult life as a member Of the club
stated that more than one properly ac-
credited diplomat had been refused admis-
sion 10 the Metropolitan on the grounds
that while his personal character might he
all right for Europe it did not Ego" here.
He cited an instance i'm which the secretary
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21

of legation OF a very important naAon
was rejected. The ambassador OF that ma
ton. a member of the club. announced IN
great wrath that unless the matter were
reconsdered he would resign forthwith
The board heard his plant, yawned few
Observation-Disclosures told the amnassa-
dor it was sorry it would have to foreSo
the pleasure Of seeing him around any
more. The worthy gentleman straiShtway
thought OF all the dreary evenings ahead,
with no place 10 go but to state dinners
or home. and promptly changed his mind
While "A members peccadllos may not
cause his resignation 10 be asked for. STILL
If he gets too strongly into the limeight
and fails TO convince the board that he has
a grievance he is likely 10 be requested to
hetake himself To other less exacting clubs
When ne is seeking admission. If course,
even little OF this sort Of notoriety will
debar him. But once in. IL Is as though
he belonged TO a family-the less attention
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21

into the ground, with their tops nush Win
the street curb?
Nothing can be said for the beauty Of
the electric sign in the daytime. They are
all right when the shades of night have
been pulled down. They deserve credit for
having made our Pet Street the envy of
electric light companies in all other parts
Of the world. But i'm the telltale glare of
the sun they deserve a prominent place in
the front ranks up near the gas tanks.
1t would he an easy thing for the cleo
trio sign magnates to have large covers
placed over their boards in the daytime.
IT ought to be done. Some one ought to
that il is done. We might all write a
letter TO the Mayor. The covers suggested
would work after the manner of the type
writer tarpaulin. and if they wanted To.
the praises of the wares advertised could
10 printed on the outside Of the covers.
1t IS merely a suggestion, Of course. The
companies are welcome to take it for what
II is worth.
Also has the decorated fire escape.
Foreign-born Americans may be used to
hanging their brilliant wardrohes over the
fronts Of their houses. True some of the
marvellous color combinations Of flaming
red petticoats, set off by the quiet drabs
of the bedding, are worthy of exhibition.
But these exhibitions might be made pri
vate. II may look all right in Rome. But,
Romans. not being in Rome. you should
not do AS you do at home. In the name
of the City Beautiful, reef In your fire es-
cape pennants.
Another thing that adds its little mite
~ Ia Vol, 81
torn down. 1t is altogether "A dirty and
nasthetic procedure. The dust flies about,
seeking eyes in which II may alight and
throats which il may set to coughing. The
contractors could at least set up screens
&c hide the shameful LONELINESS Of the
dismantled house. Besides. IL would keep
the flying brick and mortar out of the
lamps" Of uninterested persons who may
have later use for their eyesight.
Right along in this same class comes
the discouraged signboard
Outside Of the man who wrote the adj
vertisoment and the owner who gets rent,
there are few defenders for the most
beautiful Of billboards But let one Of the
boards become tattered and begin 10 mout
its paper-there you have an eyesore that
ranks right up with the dismantled house.
t is bad enough 10 have some person in
a picture whom you have never met de-
mand constantly Of you:
do you eat Pinklcy's Pickles? II not
why not?'
Or the inlpertinent and officous:
Are you a Caw-Caw girl?"
The questions themselves can be ignored
by those who have sufficient self control
to keep from reading them But when
the posters have been up for about
month in rainy weather the careless winds
rip them into shreds and dangle the
streamers about so that one has to notice
them. Even bill board containing the
picture Of FRITZ schen is frightful 10
look upon after the changing weathers
have made a lithographic scarecrow out
Of H.
And while We are on this subject let US
not forget the horse cars
AT least there is one thing in which
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21

finally obtains the coveted membership.
Frequently it is so because of some such
triiing detail as this. Yet ii is precisely
this adherence to red tape" methods That
makes being "a member of the Metropol-
itan' akin, in the prdeful mind of GER
tain Washington sets, to wearing the
Legion Of Honor.
Nothing seems to excite greater indigna-
ton in the average member of the Metro
poltan than 10 be told his club is snobbsh
I'VE don't care what a mans career is.
how much money he has or has not, or
whence he sprang-if he is a gentleman and
congenial to the Metropolitan" insisted
one of them IF he comes properly in
dorsed he can belong. Should he fail 10
meet these requirements he he public Off
cial or duly accredited diplomat. the re-
lentless doors swing shut at his approach"
The element that knows the Metropolitan
solely as a white. imposing building. with
many windows and few lights. insists that
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21

Continued on eighth page.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21
Here Are a Few of Them
Which Have Smitten the
Artist in the Eye as He
Wandered About New
York's Highways.

n%HE opening Of the third national con-
ference on city planning last week
calls attention anew to the fact that
every now and then New, York's civic pride
arouses itself from one Of its deep sleeps
and raises a loud howl in behalf of the
City Beautiful.
That il well-hut said civic pride usually
crawls into he'd again before anything Is
actually accomplished
The movement rarely gets beyond the
howl stage. and when II does II commonly
directs itself toward the erection OF some
sort of expensive stone memorial. Right
there is the trouhle-and ] assert and VIII
demonstrate that a good deal more could
be accomplished toward identifying our
metropolis by doing away with lot Of
the things we already have than by ad-
ding new ones.
Recently a woman took step in the
right direction. 1t is usually the feminine
feet that make the first advances in the
line Of progress. This one started cru
SADIE against bow legs among juvenile New
Workers. Surely the eradication Of wish
hone props would make the town easier
10 look at. incidentally. this lady with
the artistic eye and the good heart dis
covered a new lead for future advocates
of the City Beautiful. Certainly we are
altogether too busy to-day 10 take deep
interest in such affairs. but after we have
corrslled the required number Of millions
and left them TO our children the legatees
will have plenty of leisure for things ses-
thetc.
decide n
make New York a genuine City Beautiful
and JOY forever. as the poet did not say,
some OF our most prominent local indus
tries are going TO hear about It,
in the first place, what would become OF
the monumental gas tanks If lovers Of art
were ever to load up and go out cunning
for them? If there is anything truly unro-
mantle in appearance and aroma 1t GER
tainly is this same gas tank. Builders of
these big hulks seem TO plan carefully so
that the unloyely gas holders will loom
up in some part of town that is otherwise
very good to look upon.
You have seen Grants tomb. Of course
1t is one of the most impressive monu-
ments in the country. Yet the first thing
that catches your enraptured eye after
looking at the tomb is a pair OF twin gas
tanks close by. with their gaunt and rusty
supports. The steel beams deface the sky,
and the leakage from the unburnt brlliance
gives the entire neighborhood a delicate,
yet haunting odor that will never be mis-
taken for ottar OF roses.
But" says the gas man, I'VE must have
gas"
All, perfectly correct gas man. But why
not sink the tanks in big pits far down
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21
Bemihe First?

these antediluvian vehicles are fast enough
to lead-they would rattle away with all
the prizes offered for the worst looking
methods Of transportation. II wouldn't be
so bad if they We're put away somewhere
10 form nucleus for n municipal traffic
museum Neat tablets could he placed on
the ones in which General Grant and Com
modore Vanderbilt used to come down
town. Certainly they have served their
time and deserve to be pensioned. Skip
ping lightly over the mere appearance Of
the craft. the real antiquarian feels that
it borders on the sacrilegious TO have
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21
SOME EXACTING RULES.

Some years ago there was a young dip
lomat on it's membership list who had
penchant for sitting with his feet decorat-
ing the club window slls. AS the occu-
pant of an "ali-night' hack. this might
have been an excusable attitude; hut with
i'm the sacred precincts of the Metropolitan
it was an offence. lie was advised that
looking south from up nth street, ones
view of the majestic pile was sadly married
by his projecting boots. He. however, in
sisted on his right to select his own atti-
tude. and the board duly agreed with him
but not within the Metropolitan. Club.
And when the next yearbook came out
there was one name less on the diplomatic
list
mo member may recline or sleep on
any lounge or sofa within the club. reads
one of the bylaws. This may give huge
mirth to men whose idea Of club Is a
place where one may keep his hat on his
cigar continually going and generally Toll
about. But not in the Metropolitan CLUB
never,
II may be more or less of n surprise 10
many women who believe that mans
club is Liberty Hail. TO read n few Of
the stern restrictions placed upon the
Metropolitan Club man within doors.
To begin with. no dogs are allowed in
the club
Smoking is prohibited in the main din
ing room. and when a member does smoke
lie must be careful what he smokes. A
nine Is unworthy the dignity Of the more
formal rooms. its use being limited 10 the
billiard and card rooms and loggia.
No refreshments other than liquids are
served on the first floor except in the
small hall and loggia.' Consomme. tea
and coffee are also 10 be had only in these
two sections of the street floor. But after
dinner coffee may be brought or carried
about anywhere. except the one place many
members would prefer 1.-THE reading room.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21
MUST BE CLUBABLE.

eve don't give a hang whom you repre-
sent. or what you own-if you are not club
able'r' is the slogan of the club behlnd
whose front windows many foreign dlplo-
mat would rather be seen than in any other
club in America.
"Ridiculously conservative" growl dis
gruntled applicants.
"Democratically simpler respond those
who have been for many years identified
with the institution-for it is almost as
much of a Washington institution as the
Capitol or the Congressional Club.
Recently a Congressman from New York
was put up" for membership No one
could have had more favorable indorse-
ment. it is said. Yet the day before his
application should have been acted on his
name was withdrawn. Not even rumors Of
war with combined Europe could have
made a greater stir in certain circles at the
capital
'Wbv?" demanded the mans adherents.
Then they proceeded to explain 1t to their
own satisfaction by the fact that he was
"too much in politics
From the Metropolitan Club there camo
neither denial nor confirmation. for it
never "rushes into print" In fact, it never
rushes anywhere Presidents and Senators
and Congressman and just plain politicians
have been on its register ever since ii was
founded-so too much politics. could not
be the reason. If the public was not
aware of that fact so much the worse for
the public Even when the writer sought
out various we'll known members and
urged an explanation, there was reluc-
tance 10 discuss the matter. What the
club does. they said, concerns only its Of
fcers and members.
But. in justice to the New York Congress
man, one longtime member did give out
the information positively that he was in
no sense "blackballed," or even considered
unfavorably.
While Mr.. Taft did not directly refer to
the Metropolitan Club. many people thought
he had II in mind, because Associate JUS
tice Hughes. Of the United States Supreme
Court. had incurred the enmity of three
members Of the Metropolitan Club, who in
formed q friend recently that they would
take pleasure in blackballng Mr.. Hughes
if at any time his name was proposed for
membership 10 the club Their opposition
was based on the fight made against the
racetracks Of New York while the Justice
was Governor OF that state. The three
members are interested in horses. Jus
tice Hughes's name however has not been
proposed TO the club.
Contrary to the custom Of most clubs,
the Metropolitan has not a committee on
the election Of new members in the very
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21

:, b. IL Hard to Break Into Washmgtons Metropolitan Club
Mysterious Reflections of Persons Who Seemed Wholly
Worthy of Admission Have at Times Brought Adverse
Criticism to the Club, Which Has Had Notable
Men Of Different Lands Among Its Members

though two men are not on speaking terms
outside the club, they must act In a friend
~ manner within II. for instance, they in
a6vertently Join a group unaware Of each
others presence Congressman who have
a,noat come 10 blows on the floor Of tho
House are expected TO observe all the
amenities at the Metropolitan. Congress
may excuse sucn behavior. The club Will
not"
Time Is no object 10 the club. nor does
II consider the official importance Of a
members time when his presence is neces-
sary 10 a quorum. ON one occasion, so
the story runs. n certain amendment 10 the
constitution was desired, and the club de-
cided to take world-ballot To each men,
Der was sent a printed copy OF the amend.
ment. with a blank ballot for an express
SIGN Of opinion. And II Is indicative OF the
cosmopoitan membership that these blanks
went everywhere in civilization and to
many places not yet so considered
Months had TO elapse before the ballots
returned. Some never did. Eventually
the matter reached the stage where One
hundred resident members could consti.
tute and control a quorum. In accordance
with regulations this meeting was ad.
journed from time TO time until the re-
CURED number might be present. As II
became apparent that such might never
become the case. voluntarily. A certain
member decided 20 GO out and gather them
in from the verious highways and byways
of their local pursuits. Finally only three
votes were lacking.
Congressman J. r. Henderson was then
Speaker Of the House. Up 10 that august
body went the self-appointed mace bearer
OF the club. Mr.. Henderson demurred On
the ground that. as presiding officer Of the
House, it was his duty to remain.
las a member Of the Metropolitan Club,
IL is also your duty 10 attend this meet.
ing" the caller retorted. And the Speaker
putting a member temporarily In his place.
got into a carriage and swelled the nun.
Der 10 ninety-eight.
The Secretary Of State was then sought
He was having a very busy day. After
listening to the argument that II was only
a tWo-minute walk To the club, whose for.
NAL routine was being held up by his ab.
sence, he let the ship of state" navigate
itself long enough 10 be the ninety ninth
membc' cf the quorum.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21

these cradles Of modern transportation
still dragged remorseessly through the
streets.
one passes in natural sequence through
the aforementioned car Ia the horses that
haul the same madly through our cross
town thoroughfares. Lovers of idealzcd
Manhattan might step In and establish
chloroforming stations for these misnt sub
stitutes for electric kilowats. 1t would af-
ford the horses u deserved and eternal
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21
THE PRESIDENT DRAGOCNED

No less a parsonage than the Presiier,
Of the United States. so the story runs.
made the hundredth member dropping his
work at the White House 10 do 50.
Whether or not this tale is 10 be taken
with a grain OF salt is more or less mat
ter of taste. II was narrated 70 the writer
in good faith.
Some Of the younger element Of Wash
ington society are wont TO allude 10 the
METROPOLITAN as the "Old Mems Home
because Of the age limit ii sets for member
ship. But there is strong reason 70 believe
that the title is bestowed in envy rather
than in scorn.
\ certain son Of his father, who con.
sidered himself perfectly grown up at
twenty. once remarked anent the club that
IL he got in he would wake things up
over there" But the Metropolitan had
mo intention Of having its slumbers thus
disturbed and the gilded youth had %
await what the government ~ France
and the Metropolitan Club alike conside'
the age OF majority-twenty-five. As a
great concession. candidates name NAV
be posted when he is twenty-one; but
merely remains on the list and is not
called for action while he is still under
age.
No woman has ever entered the portal
Of the house since 1t was in active ser.
vice" as a club. Rarely is a womans
name mentioned there. II a member Is
called by telephone. an attendant asks the
name Of the caller. This is coniided 10
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21

and publicity given the scandal the better
for the family as a whole.
Many of the clubs rules may seem
strangely old-fashioned to the ultra-mod-
ern. But the Metropolitan does not care.
Public opinion, anyway, rufes ii about
as much as the proverbial water on a
ducks back In more direct ph,aseoJogy'
its motto is, If you don't like US, let us
alonew But a man who seeks and oh
tains access TO the inner shrine must con-
form in every way 10 its conservatism.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21
SOME THINGS WHOSE PUNISHMENT WOULD EXPE.
DITE THE ARRIVAL OF THE CITY BEAUTIFUL

ugliness-t would murder a couple OF birds
with the single stone as the saying goes.
Doubling back bit and taking up the
subject OF unbeautful humans once more
we should not overlook the obtrusivey
heshy person who crowds both sides OF the
car street as he sits down, and VINO mas
10 weigh himself on freight car scales
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-21
Bible teaching that Gamer may ma,
pass through the eye OF needle
IL with greater ease than rich man

-HE Bible teaching that camel may
PASS through the eye of needle
Il with greater ease than rich man
may enter the kingdom of heaven has
caused many conjectures. one of these IS
us IL any harder for man, depending
solely on his wealth or position. TO become
q member Of the Metropolitan Club, OF
Washington
The camel might get through the needls
~ he were first reduced TO fine hash, but
the applicant to the Metropolitan CLUB, l.
fifteen members don't want him-oniy III
teen. mind you, out Of total OF over tii''-
teen hundred-has no chance at all.
Never explain" said the great Bismarch'
never retreat! Never apologize.
So SAYS the Metropolitan Club.
In city like Washington, where great
wealth. social position and political power
each prove an open sesame to almost
every other portal. the resistance OF the
Metropolitan Club is rather remarkable,
and public attention was called to 1t very
forcibly last week when President tart
denounced small headed men who in clubs
ATTEMPT 10 manifest their greatness by
blackballing men of prominence proposed
for membership.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-08-17
HE'S THE ORIGINAL CROUCH
Surely Would Be Hard to Please Old
Gentleman With This Kind OF
Disposition.

There is in Washington an old
crouch" whose son was graduated
from Yale. When the young man came
home at the end of first term, he
eXulted in the fact that he stood next
to the head Of his class. But the old
gentleman was not satisfied.
Next to the head" he exclaimed.
What do you mean? I'd like TO know
what you think I'm sending you to col
lege for? Next to the head! Why
aren't you at the head, where you
ought to be-"
At this the son was much Crestfal
len; but upon his return. he went
about his work with such ambition
that at the end Of the term he found
himself in the coveted place. Wher
he went home that year he felt very
proud. 1t would be great news for the
old man.
When the announcement was made
the father contemplated his son for {
few minutes in silence; then, with
shrug, he remarked:
AT the head of the class, Ell? Well
that's a fine commentary on Yale uni
acknowledgements Magazine.