davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
A AOar$hroaksr

At q dinner last winter one Of New
York's prominent bankers was dilat-
ing on the dangers Of deceit. By way
Of illustration he told Of q society wo-
man who saw in jewelers. window a
beautiful collar Of pearls, which she
wanted very much. Upon inquiry she
learned the price was $4,000. There
upon she gave her check for $1,000.
saying she would send her husband to
see the pearls. and If he could be per.
suaded to buy them he was to be told
the price was only $1,000.
The jeweler, being familiar with that
sort of game, readily agreed. The hus
band called during the day to see the
pearls and that evening told his wife
he had bought them. since they were
evidently such bargain. His wife
was more than delighted and immedi-
ately asked If he had brought home the
collar, to which he replied:
"Why, no, my dear; had it sent to
my mother. You know it is her birth.
day tomorrow"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
A Joke With q Rebound.

John R. Mclean stepped in front Of
lurching Irishman one evening and
DISTRACTED the sidewalk so that the
Irishman was obliged to stop and look
at him. Mclean said:
Here's that half dollar l borrowed
of you. Now you must quit telling the
neighbors that never pay my debts. .
Half drunk and wholly daZed. the
Irishman took the silver piece. looked
at it intently and then said:
BE dad, yez can't get off thot aisy
1t wor a whole dollar thot yez borryd
so fork OVER
And he forked over another half dol.
lar and went his way laughing hearth
ly ut the quick wit of the Irishman.--
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
stor,e. at les. rh.. . centAplece.

Stories ut less Than q CentAplece.
In the fifty-two issues Of years
volume The Youths Companion prints
fully two hundred and fifty stories.
The subscription price of the paper is
but Sl.75, SO that the stories cost less
than cent apiece, without reckoning
in all the rest Of the contests-anec.
dotes. humorous sketches, the doctors
weekly article, papers on popular topics
by famous men and women.
Although the two hundred and fifty
stories cost so little, they are not cheap
stories. In variety Of scene. diversity
Of incident, skill and truth in character
depicting, they cannot be excelled.
The announcement for 1911, beauti:
fully illustrated, giving more detailed
particulars Of these stories and other
new features which greatly enlarge the
paper, will be sent to any address free
with sample copies of current issues.
Every new subscriber receives free
The Companions Art Calendar for 1911,
Autographed in thirteen colors and
gold, and if the subscription is received
at once, all the issues for the remaining
weeks of 1910.
THE YOUTHS COMP ANON.
la Berkely ST., Boston, Mass.
New subscriptions received at this Office.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
PROGRESS OF A PRODIGY.
Upward Trsnd and Bottom Stop Of q
Brainy Youth.

Upward Trsnd and Bottom Stop Of .
Brainy Youth.
Norbert Postlethwaite was wonder
full boy. When but eleven months old
he could repeat the alphabet clear
through from either end of 1t and at
six years old had memorized the Dec
laration Of Independence. At the un-
timely age Of fourteen he was fitted
for college in mathematics. philosophy,
ancient and modern languages and the
sciences, and in less than three years
after entering he completed the regu-
lar four years. course and received the
degree Of bachelor Of arts at the ripe
ago Of ssvsoteen.
Thus this brainy youth proceeded up
the hill Of Earning until. when he was
twenty-one years old. he was truly an
appalling example. he was a. famil-
far with the late Aristotle. Plato, De-
mosthenes and all such AZ you and
are With William ]. Bryan. and had
10 CHANGED to meet in the highroad
gentleman who addressed him In ei-
thef Of seven different languages and
dialects he would have had a working
notion % to whether the stranger
spined 1t looked like rain or merely
wished to pick fight.
But, although thus armed. equipped
and overloaded, he found when he
went forth to battle with the world
that some ono had stolen the ladder to
success and that his neck was too
thin to permit him to hold job as Il
street eat conductor. Our learned hero
was nothing daunted, however. bu;
straightway mounted the lyceum plat
form and. displaying his matchless
eruditeness to people who had very lit
tie idea what he was talking about.
was for time a notable success.
Presently. however. untoward fate
again assailed our hero. Moving pic.
ture shows and ten cent vaudeville
sprung up like noxious weeds and
speedily put the intellectual treat on
the hummer. But Norbert, again equal
to the emergency, procured an appro-
pirate costume. converted his lecture
into burlesque, and with his spindle
shanked neck. overhanging brows and
q squeaky chuckle he was a veritable
scream as silly boy monologist. He
Is now diligently practicing song and
dance, and as soon as he fully masters
funny fall Of his own invention and
new and exceedingly humorous way
Of splitting, which he has already
thought out, he expects to climb into
polite vaudeville on the big circuits,
where he can doubtless soon dictate
his own price.
Because Of the manner in which he
overcame every obstacle in his path
way we should feel warranted in CIV
ing three hearty cheers for Norbert
Postlethwaite. Tom P. Morgan in
Puck
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06

The State of North Dakota to the above
named respondents.
You. the said respondents, are hereby
notified that the final account of the exc,
cntor of the estate of Louis LeDoux, late Of
Pembina. and state of North Dakota, de-
therein showing that the estate of said de;
distribution, and petitioning that. his &C
be distributed to the persons thereunto
entitled, his administration closedand he
be discharged; that Monday, the 9th day
of January A. u. 1911 at 1Qso'clock in the
forenoon of that day, at the court rooms of
this court. in the court house, in the city
of Pembina, county of Pembina, and state
of North Dakota, has been duly appointed
by this court for the settlement thereof, at
which time and place any person nterest-
ed in said estate may appear and file his
exceptions, in writing, to said account
and petition and contest the same.
And you, the above named respondents
and each of you, are hereby cited and re-
quired then and there to be and appear
before this court, and show cause. if any
you have, why said account shall not be
allowed. the residue of said estate is
ltributcd. the administration OF said estate
closed and said discharged.
Dated the LIT day of December a. y. 1910.
, By the Court:
r. G. WICK,
E.W. COMFY, = : Si's 80 800
p Attorney. (SEAL
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
The lronv q F.s..

bUO sTOvNy ~ raw
PA. what's tie irony Of fate!'
"Iu t1y to explain It AZ we'll 90
can. once had q strong desire ia
save up something for . rat1y day. I
denied myself many pleasures % that
I might put BY q little froa nns to
time, and 1t last had Qaito q neat
little pilA"
"What haDpeas1 thsar
Zone night your mother bsea1le pos
sessed Of foolish idea tat she smell.
ed smoke, and when she stuck her
head out Of the window ono Of our
neighbors turned in an alarm. The
department quickly responded, and be-
fore could get my trousers on they
had knocked hole in the roof and alb
solutely ruined everything 1 had saved
up for the rainy day by pouring water
on it."-Chicago Record-Herald.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
Maintainina Discipline,

'The manager discharged Jibbs."
"What for?'
gibbs said that the boss son, the
Junior partner, was a fool and an ass"
"N-ell, We'll" =
"1'he manager didn't discharge .Jibbs
so much for that either as to maintain
discipline. He said Jibbs had no right
Browning's Magazine.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
An Accomplished Linauist,

'Did you learn any French while
you were in PARISH" asked Bildad,
meeting Slithers shortly after his re-
turn from Europe.
"Oh, little" said Slithers. "Not
so very much, though. I got so could
say cigarette in French"
Good" said Bildad. 'What is ciga-
rette in French?"
"Cigarette," said Slithers.-Harper's
Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
Then They Fumiqated tho House

Then They Fumisated the House.
Mrs. Parvenu-John, that Mrs. Caller
who was just here said she'd been hav-
ing bad attack of ongwee. What did
she mean?
Parvenu- Something catchin', per-
haps. Why don't you look it up in the
dictionary?
Mrs. P.--I did. I went through all
the o's, but can't find no such word
Boston Transcript.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
WOMEN IN PORTUGAL.
Dis In the Fields and % Laborins
Work In the Cities.

"OTN InO SbSSS
A good part of the farm work 10
performed by the women. who see no
reason why they should regard dig
cling. hoeing and blowing as the work
of men alone. The man who owns u
few acres of land will often leave its
cultivation to his wife and daughters.
while he labors as carpenter. stone.
mason or cooper, for caskmaklng IL
one Of their important Industries. He
also likes to get job as waiter In
one Of the numerous hotels ut seaside
resorts. for the country has thousands
of continental and English visitors.
Women share in the heavy work of
the cities as we'll. There are female
porters, laborers on the docks. market
tenders and even women coal heayers,
fishermen. or, rather, fsherwomen. aud
sailors. They are as strong and hardy
as their husbands and brothers and
seem to stand long hours aud hard H.
Dor as we'll.
OF course it rather takes away the
glamour of romance when one sees q
young woman with finely chiseled
features and beautiful black eyes dig
ging with spade and mattock or heav.
ing basket of coal into ships hold
with as much ease as the American
girl plays tennis and golf. Women seem
happy under what We would consider
hard conditions, SO the reformer would
probably have his labor for his pains
IL he suggested a change IN this de
partment of Portuguese national ex.
istence.-Christian Herald.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
Communicable Care.

Uncle Ezra-How's your daughter
doing in business college?
Uncle Eben-Fine. She can't spell
very good. and she amt very fast on
the typewriter, but tell you she's
keerful. When she gets through writ
ing Il letter on that machine every
''i'' is dotted and every "t'' is crossed.
Puck.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
A Set up Job.

"Are you the man from Solder &
Co.'s to do the repairing Of the water
pipes" asked Mr.. Subbubs.
eyes," replied the plumber, land Mr..
Solder says it'll cost you $780,"
what? Why, he hasn't seen the
job. He doesn't know how much I
want DONE"
"Mebbe not, but he told me how
much to do."-Catholic Standard and
Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
A Country ADVANTAGE.

Mrs. Crawford-How is it you get
more rest since you live in the sub
urbs?
Mrs. CrabsEaw--I don't have to sit
up all night for my husband. When
be doesn't arrive by the last train l
know he won't be home till the next
day."-Judge.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
No Foraettinn.

But dad.-. lleNded the son. "she's
nice girl. WHAT'S your objection to
my marrying? You were young your
self once"
Don't remind me of it," said the
father, overcome with emotion. sit was
then that met your MOTHER Cleve-
land Leader.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
Surplus Of AIimenx.

Your honor, 1t is serious tax on
my client having to pay three separate
alimonies, more especially when one Of
his sx-wtyes y at present receiving
alimony from two other sourcss.s-
La
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06

'The fortune telling business pays,
doesn't it3''
"Why shouldn't 1t? Look at the
prophets in Baltimore American.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06

Every younk person needs business educaton and Il
costa to get 1t At this esat Business and Short
hand Traininf School, under exact Office conditiona
than at one Of the small questionable The results
are however, very different. $50 D. B. C. pupils went
to excellent positions in banks and Offices last year
over 400 will do this year. All Farto banks and 6SS
others employ D. B. G. pupils bookkeepers, tellers
stenoeraphers cashier No othsr school offers such
evidence of endorsement.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
THE REFORMATION.

I feel It wrong to stroll along
Tho idle path OF pleasure
And wish to say that l today
Renounce life Of leisure.
! My minds made up. and viii sup
On dainty fare no longer.
But have instead q crust of bread
(This coffee should be stronger).
Expensive dress spells wickedness:
I've come to that decision.
I'll wear q sack or something black
(My new pink frock's vision).
Through rain and snow. though winds
may blow
And roads be rough and hilty,
I'll take my way from day to day
please shut the door: tits chilly.
Thus on I'll tread with lifted head
And footsteps brave and steady.
For luxury Ii wrong. I see
(Goodby! Ny cars ready.
10 We must part). When do I start
Ny pilgrimage Of sorrow!
Oh. we'll. It's late! think I'll wait
Al least until tomorrow.
Pail Mall Gazette.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06

Il should say you we're gargling
Why didn't YOU pour it out into your
saucer, the. way did?"-Atchison
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
The
Scrap Book
ro,I.'s Stamp.

Seymour Hicks In his book Of remi-
niscences tells this story about the
great English comedian and practical
Joker, Toole:
II remember being In London with
him once when he went into the gen.
eral postoffice aud asked for penny
stamp. The clerk brought out a huge
sheet and Toole said. Il want that
one.'
(which onef said the clerk.
That one,' said Toole. pointing to
the center one.
"A long argument ensued, Toole say
ing that in purchasing stamp he had
a perfect right In law to choose the
one he fancied, and 80 emphatic was
he on the point that he had his way.
but not before he had created 4 dis.
turbance ana clerks from other coun.
tiers had left their work to SEQ what
was going on"
opsa the Dssn
Open the door Of your heart. my lad.
To the angel Of love and truth
When the wsrad = full Of unnumbsreA
Joys
In the beautiful dawn Of youth.
Casting aside all things that mar.
saying t. wrong. "DsDart!"
To the veicse Of hope that are calling you
Open the leor Of your heart.
Opsn the door Of your heart, my Lass,
To the things that shall abide,
To the holy thoughts that lift ysur soul
Like the stars ct eventids.
All the fAdsleos flowers that Room
In the realms. Of song and art
Are yours II you'll only give them room.
Open the door Of your heart.
Open the doeF Of your hsart, my friend.
Needless Ct class and creed,
When you hear the cry Of . brothers voice,
The sob Of soul IN need
To the singing heavens that Ger you bend
You need ne map nor chart.
But only the love Of the Master.
Opsn the door Of your heart.
-DdWard Everett Hale.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06

State of North Dakota,
County of Pembina.
In County Court, before Hon. H. G. Wick,
Judge
In the matter of the estate of Louis Le-
Doux, deceased.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06

Il was ashamed Of YOU al that dinner
last night, .on made so much Loise
drinking your tea"
: hy, was only slipping it. 1t was
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
Dramatic CRITICISM.

Dramatic Criticism.
How'd you get into the show the
other EVENING"
Passed a counterfeit quarter at the
door,"
"How was the shown
'Well. I got my moneys worth"
81. Paul Pioneer Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
] hrOat-Weak unqS

Cold after cold; cough after cough Troubled with this
taingcold habit? Better break it up We have great
confidence in Ayers Cherry Pectora for this work. No
medicine like it for weak Threats and weak lungs Ask
His approval is valuable. Follow his advice at all times
No alcohol in this cough medicine LC7y Co.. LOWELL Mas,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06
Willing = Hop.

Flow much fsr pulling tooth?''
Pity cents without gas, dollar
WITH"
"How nueh wAere I furnish. the
NShtr .....
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06

Eli LeDoux. petitioner.
Paul LeDoux, Emery LeDouxi
George LeDoux, Charles Ley
DOux, and Eliza Farrone, and I
William w. Felson speciall
guardian of Rose, Anna, EN-
cry and Florence LeDoux,
minors, respondents.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-01-06

CIR 5000 Business Course prepares for business life
q for position ~ bookkeeper The new $500
In commerce and Banking (endorsed BY Banker
Assocation) will supply bookkeepers for the larger
and telers and cashiers for the NoGthwestern
hanks. The Stenosraphic Course (under expert
porter) trains high grade stenokraphers and court
porters. The stenosaphers for the u District Court
N D. Supreme Court, Third Judicial District and the
Cas- County Court are D. B. c. pupils Canary other
school offer You this evidence Of superior trainin97
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-03-04
By
Frederic ].
Haskin.

I also the reign of that compact "Old
! Guard" Organization which they cap
! tanned, and which has controlled the
/ senate ever since the balance of power
/ was wrested from the free silver and
! populist senators nearly a score of
! years ago
Seventeen senators retire today at
the expiration of their terms; II Re
ubIicans-Aldrich, Beveridge, Bulke-
; ley, Burkett, BURROWS, Carter, Depew,
Dick, Flint, Hale Kean, Piles, Scott
and Warner, and three Democrats
Frazier. Money and Taliaferro. Of the
! Ii Republicans seven will be succeeded
by Democrats. The legislatures of
New York and Montana at this writ
ing are still deadlocked on the election
of successors to DepeW and Carter
Three other Republicans of the con-
sentative stripe will be succeeded by
progressives Only two, Aldrich and
Buckley, Will be succeeded by men Of
their own political stripe The three
retiring Democrats viii be succeeded
by Democrats.
Several other changes caused by
death add still more to the general up
setting OF the senate. No less than
% new faces will be seen in the senate
in the next session that We're not there
when the 61st congress Began TWen-
ty-two in a total membership of ninety
two is a very large proportion, and the
senate has experienced no such great
change at one time since the civil war
In the senate as il stands before adj
journment today there are SO Repub1i-
cans, 80 Democrats and one vacancy, a
Republican majority of almost two to
one But the Republicans are divided
into hostile camps. Of Standpatters and
Insurgents. so that the. count is hardly
indicative of any real division In the
new senate the count will stand some
where in the neighborhOcd of 81 Re-
publicans and Il Democrats. Repub-
hcan majority of only 10 But as the
Republican roster will include a dozen
or more Insurgents and near-Insur-
gents, it is apparent that nobody can
tell what Will happen when the SD
congress meets. II is certain. however,
that the old compact and efficient Re
publican organization has gone to
pieces, and it is equally certain that
the senate Democrats possess no work
able scheme or plan of action.
For the first time since the country
was on the eve Of the second war with
England, in 1911, exactly a century
ago. the old congress dies with the
country in absolute ignorance of who
will lead either of the party orsani-
nations in the senate of the United.
States
The dying congress held three ses-
Sions-the extraordinary session called
by president Taft for March Is, 1909
which passed the Payne-Aldrich tariff
bill; the first regular session which
met in December, 1909: and the pres
ent session which met in December of
1910. It's political course has been
marked by the factionaI quarrel in the
ranks OF the Republican party by the
and unaccountable disappear
ance of factions among the Democrats
and by a general tendency toward leg
islative and political revolution Few
leaders Of either party regret that its
days are done.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-03-04
Control OF National Legislation Passes
With End Of Sixty-First Congress Today
Change Of the Personnel OF Both House and Senate win Be Sweeping One

: be no less marked than in the house
OF the 391 members of the present
! house at the time of its organization
20 were Republicans and 172 were
Democrats. In the next house the di-
vision will be 22S Democrats. 1872 Re-
publicans and one Socialist OF the old
membership 12S We're not reelected. and
therefore nearly one third of the total
memb ership of the new house VIII be
new. The vast majority of the new
representatives never have had any
kind of congressional experience
The retiring speaker, Joseph G. Can
non, has served a longer consecutive
time Is speaker of the house than has
any other man in the history of the
country-four full terms Andrew
Stevenson served nearly four terms.
but resigned in his last congress.
Henry Clay is the only speaker who
presided over the house longer than
has Uncle joe" and his service of five
terms was divided. into three separate
periods
The speaker of the new house un-
doubtedly will be Champ Clark of Mis-
souri,, who already has received the
nomination of the Democratic caucus
But Clark will not exercise the great
power that has been the portion of his
predecessors in office. He will pre-
side over the house and will have
position of commanding influence but
the great political leverage exercised
by the speaker when he appointed the
committees will be taken from him.
The committees in the ed house will
be elected by the house on the nonnina-
ton of the ways and means commit
tee the majority members of which
already have been chosen by the Demo-
cratic caucus.
Tho me- iOriIU 0f a now
house will revise the rules to a great
er or less extent. Certainly the whole
working organization of the house
must be reconstructed. On the sue
cess or failure Of the Democrats in
that undertaking depend alike the.
hopes and fears of both Of the great
political parties
Two years ago many Democrats in
congress despaired of the future of
their party and openly admitted that
they never again hoped to see a Demo-
cratic congress. Now they are worried
because their majority is too large TO
be safe in the maneuvers of the par
liamentary battle-ground.
The Democrats have been out of
power so long that of the whole num-
Der of Democrats in the next house,
22S. only four ever have served on the
majority side of the house only four
nave sat unCer the SdNcl OF d IIoiIlO-
cratic speaker. These are Champ
Clark Of Missouri. J. Fred Talbot of
William A Jones of Vir-
einia and Jefferson NJ Levy of New
York For the other 224 the expert
ence of being a member of the ma
jcrity, with the entailed responsibilities
will be absolutely novel
In the senate, although the Republic
cans retain nominal control and al
though there will be no change in the
formal organization Of the body. the
actual changes are even more sweep
ing than in the house.
Today ends the service in the senate
Of Nelson W Aldrich of Rhode Island
nd Eugene Hale of Maine 1t ends