Pocahontas star herald., 1911-06-02
THEORY AND
PRACTICE


Benny lived in the land OF Don't
Touch. BY experiment persistentiy
and shrewdly conducted he had found
It was land bounded by the universe,
being absolutely inclusive.
Toward not one Of the innumerabie
-bewildering and alluring objects he
was daily discovering could he stretch
out his fat. pudgy hands without the
voice OF fate-otherwise mother or
nurse girl or father-singing out that
pestiferous refrain, Don't touch it,"
The worst OF 1t was that whoever
sung 1t out always meant 1t. II the
temptation was stronger than his COM
mon sense he grabbed the object. Then
his hands we're slapped az reward
for his spirit of investigation. At first
he had resented the slsppings because
ne had not learned to correlate cause
and effect, but now he was three years
and a month old and he had grown
philosophical. Some things were
worth being slapped for and others
were not. SO he continued to investi-
gate with a charming indifference. to
the painful results.
Il cannot understand It," Bennys
mother declared, tragically and often.
"He is child of even more than av-
erags intelligence don't care II he
is mine, he Is awfully smart-and he
can say little sentences and he under
stands every remark made to him. Yet
after | have shrieked Don't touch!' at
him till am weak from lack Of breath
he calmly goes ahead and handles
everything and breaks 1t. think 1t
must be natural depravity. Maybe he'll
turn out criminal"
Natural fiddlesticks!" snapped Ben
ny's youngest aunt, who knew more
about golf than she did about babies
and therefore felt qualified to pose as
an authority. ITS all your own fault
and that poor, abused little angel Is
simply oppressed and browbeaten. Why
do you leave things around? Why don't
you Ak the house so 1t is real home
for your son instead of a regular Tan
talus chamber of forbidden sweets"
81 refuse to upset my whole life and
the lives of all my family for the whim
of three-year-old baby" said Benny's
mother, grandly. That would be act
ing on the wrong principle"
POOH" said Benny's aunt.
When chance gave into her hands
for one whole day the house and her
nephew she rose to the occasion with a
CLEAN Of heroism in her eyes.
Cheer up, Benjamin" she said
soothingly to that parsonage, who was
watching her gravely as she moved
about the rooms putting the painted
jardiniere on top of the piano, making
wall of fragile vases, books and ink.
stands on the high mantel and other.
wise putting Satan behind the small
sinner. "Cheer up! This is a red-let
ter day. Not once shall you hear the
slogan, Don't touch! Your intelligent
aunt has removed all the untouchs
bles. Frolic and enjoy yourself and re-
joice that you have one relative with a
spark of justice in her makeup. Go
ahead and see how you like it, Kiss
me, angel, for being good to youl"
But Benjamin drew the line at that
For long while he sat and eyed the
admirable things far beyond his reach
and then he started on his usual prowl
Aglow with satisfaction, his aunt bur
led herself in book.
The unusual silence aroused her
finally. Search revealed BENJAMIN. seat
ed happily in the middle of the bed.
room rug swallowing the last drop from
a bottle of hair tonic. His frantic aunt
wildly swung him by his heels until
she remembered that was the remedy
for choking instead of poisoning. Then
she few to the telephone to consult the
doctor. Rushing from that instrument
to see If Benjamin was already curled
up in convulsions, she found him In
the kitchen with all the burners of the
gas stove turned on and himself a fair
example of incipient asphyxiation. In
tears of fright she grabbed him and
carried him out on the porch,
please walk. Benny, dear!" she
begged. It's for your own good"
But Benny saw no object in walking,
so he sat down fiat, She carried him
back and forth to provide him with as
much fresh air as possible. In the
midst of 1t he pulled sharp pin from
her hair and stabbed himself within a
fraction of an inch of his eye.
Don't you dare move and don't you
dare touch thing till come back!"
she warned him, Historically, as she
left him and went to hunt the court
plaster
When she returned Benny had pulled