New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-14

own far-secng, all-knowing generation Sc
cretly swear by her STILL
Isn't IL marvellous?
one cannot imagine how they do 1t. but
they do! To my mind, Mrs Grundy-even
more accused than money--is the root OF
all evil.
She takes frank. perfectly pure mind
and plants ideas in it-ideas that she and
ought TO be thoroughly ashamed OF har-
boring
Half our divorce cases and most OF our
unsavory scandals can be traced back origi-
nally TO her hateful presence. Her pervert-
ed ideas and wrong ideals, once planted on
virgin soil. took root and prospered and
brought forth hundredfold.
Innocent joys and pleasures were looked
On askance by her and her unpleasant
mind: charming friendships were sundered,
innocent relations made sef-conscious and
uncomfortable.
According to Mrs. Grundy. We must need
consider every man we meet Don Juan
of the very worst type, and every woman
fool capable OF being led astray blindly into
any and every disgraceful escapade.
| Our brothers, sons and husbands. OF
course, are all included in the category Of
men who must never on any account be
! trusted; our mothers, daughters eand sisters
must. according to her, be looked upon as
silly scatterbrains, if no seycrer term be
applied.
She cut the last generation of women
completely off from masculine society, eX-
ccpt when enjoyed under the wing of the
argus eyed chaperon!
Consequently they grew up affected and
/ self-conscious when left to their own de-
vices-man was shrouded in mystery for
them. consequently he occupied far too i'm
portant a place in their thoughts a state
of things for which Mrs. Grundy had only
herself TO thank and in direct contradic
ton TOO. to all her inane gatherings.
Men found women silly and COY and
unreasonable and never the good pals
that a man and woman were meant TO he
in the original scheme Of things
Man found her obsessed with a great and
living fear Of Mrs. Grundy and her para
sites and of what they would have to say
about the most trivial and innocent amuse-
ments.
1t was useless 20 assure her that Mrs.
Grundy and her type would say the OBJ
jectionable thing anyway-however care
fully they might act. The poor shrinking
thing felt her only chance in life was to
he like King Agag and walk delicately,
and she gave her whole life up To- follow
ing in his footsteps and We all know how
| speedily, not TO say violently, his walking
delicately was terminated.
Thanks Heaven, the women of this gen.
eration-at least the majority OF them
are more robust mentally and far more
sensible
For them the Bogie Mrs. Grundy has no
| fears. Simply for them the comic ele-
ment clnss closely around her. and she is
raised on high to be a public laughing
| stock in the land. Her pious little phrases
| and nasty little restrictions are a thing
Of the past, and woman is pure minded
| and far less self-cOnscious in consequence
She faces the world with a frank smile
and knowingly turns her back Mrs
| Grundy, and few OF the deadly terrors her
foreboars were threatened with hasten TO
precpitate themselves upon her Towering
path.
She has been brought up with men. in
stead Of strictly away from them-she has
them for pals and understands them thor
oughly. They are no longer presented TO
her mind as kind Of yellow bs ck
crammed 10 the covers with dreadful rev.
Citations and all kinds Of secret vice.
She respects and likes them and they
return the compliment with interest. and
she finds the roaring lion of the old days
has changed his guise TO that OF an ever
faithful collie.
Mrs. G.. still raises A warning finger in
small country towns and shaded retired
hooks. but her back is TO the wall and
she knows it only too wel-her reign is
over and healthier. saner regime has
taken its place. She still raises her voice
in pious shrieks at intervals spasmodcaly,
but very few listen, and those who do
! laugh.
In few suburban drawing rooms and
| country vicarages she can still raise her
! head and disseminate scandal and vicious
lies and ruin happy homes. In a few
houses still. ideas are planted in children's
heads that ought never to have presented
themselves to them.
Thank Heaven for its mercics, They
mostly fail to grasp utterly and entirely
the real meaning Of the unnecessary in
functions bestowed upon them by foolish
parents or senseless hirelugs as the fol-
lowing little story shows:
johnny aged four taps at the door OF
Mary. aged three.
200 tan't tum in" she said stcrnly.
"Why tan't / tum i'm" ASKS johnny. in
dignantly.
Now you may tum i'm the small tyrant
inside announces.
why wouldn't you let me tum in be
| forc?" asks Johnny. insistently.
Zoos nurse says you're not To see me in
my shimmy. and so I've took il ON
Personally, ! love TO shock Mrs Grundy
when I can find her She seems TO hide
her head and cover when she Is not quite
sure Of her trembling vctim-jusi ever 50
little sane common sense makes her run.
She does not shine in stand-up open fight
whispered nnuendo that could only pro-
coed from vile mind and from behind the
victims unsuspecting back IS hcr--Ereat
| forte To face the victim boldly and 10
proclaim her creed is only to maet with
defeat she knows it.
Don't We ali know the raised eyebrow.
the inquirlng look. the licked lip sure sign
| Of an unpleasant mind-that proclaims her
and her creed the piously expressed hope
that all may be well but that such things
were not done when she was young
We shrewdly suspect that she never was
young. but was always old TN the ways of
sin-anyvay the probabilities are that she
! never got the chance TO do such innocent
things as apparently scandalize her now
| Men were too psrticular-even I'm her day
| to invite such carrion out on a harmless
| little spree. they had their own reputation
| 10 look after. after all. and had Mrs.
Grundy been seen too frequently in their