The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-08

where we can borrow good Irish set.
ter or pointer for day or two?
Did you ever see anything so tricky
as August weather? Just as soon as
we'd announced that long ones were
comfortable, the mercury began to
sizzle And Thursday was one of the
hottest days of the summer, 80. Now
that's tight place to put man In.
One of the surest signs that a mans
getting thin, comes when the feminine
| gallery at golf match suddenly van.
ishes, fearing the players belt can't
be drawn tight enough to be sure of
holding 'em up.
| Now who's going to put up a cup
for the first par score? And what is
par in this town, anyhow?
We did have some notion of pulling
down that Braden cup, ourselves, but
now We'll just let it go as it is.
But if ID. Mathewson will put up a
cup for the first man who breaks the
present ground record, to be held un.
til somebody else sets a new mark
etc, we'll promise to go out and play
that course in 80. We dreamed about
it last night. Here's the score:
Us............. 8 3 4 8 4 > 40
Bogey. 4 ) 3 ) 6 Al
Now that's what we call playing
the game.
We see by the paper that boy
is going to walk from Kansas to
Hastings, 200 miles, to go to school
He takes only can of sardines, and
is doing the stunt for the notoriety
he'll get. We claim that boy who
will do that, can't be helped by going
to school at Hastings. There's a
school at Beatrice that might benefit
him.
We don't know who she is, but by
way of complimenting her, we want to
depose and say that the girl who
wears trouser skirt on Norfolk ave.
nue., is a creature of some courage, to
say the least.
| The next time somebody tells us
that playing golf OH a September day,
without any shirt on, will result in
blistering shoulders and neck, we're
going to take the tip. Cold cream
cant make you forget it, take it from
| us.
Now in regard to wedding presents
how would a dozen golf balls look in
their new home? We've got to be de.
Gliding.
Better be there before the first bell
rings, old kid and get your choice of
seats. It's the early bird that roosts
on the ones at the back of the room
farthest from the teachers desk.
ITS queer thing" a Norfolk dent
list said, that with nothing to do all
summer, the school children never
think of having their teeth looked af
ter; but the minute school begins
every last one of them makes a rush
|
| When a child starts to school at the
age of 5, it's a safe bet there are more
at home.
We don't blame the school teacher
for wanting three months vacation
each year. If we had the job, we'd
| want the annual vacation to last
twelve months.
In little town, Labor day is the
day when the capitalist who runs the
bank, takes holiday.
| We have half notion to start @
bank, ourself, just for the sake of the
holidays they get.
Still, they do say that the day fol.
lowing holiday the bankers have to
work just twice as hard as on ordinary
occasions.
That's an discriminating confession
though, because it shows that on an
ordinary day they only work half as
| udiu 40 luSy might.
Speaking of banks, they say there
won't be any "big limit" dealt at Greg.
DRY or Dallas during the coming Rose.
bud rush. We regret it, because we
had planned on going up there and
cleaning a few professionals, just by
way of diversion.
We're betting Hack'll be thrown, by
Gotch.
ED HOWE'S PHILOSOPHY.
When man fails in big town, and
moves to little one, it is hard work
for him to keep from slapping the peo-
pie he comes in contact with; he has
so much contempt for them.
When we consider the great amount
of reform accomplished by the insur.
gents, it is rather astonishing that
taxes increase so steadily.
Most people put in a lifetime plan