davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Parker post., 1911-12-16
GOOD LINT AVERAGE.

The cotton gin has been running
long enough now to be able to get
the actual data regarding the Gro
of this year, and the fact. a. tha'
the cotton has actually turned ou.
better in many ways than was pre-
dicted and clearly places this as
the most remarkable cotton distric;
In the United S ates as to quality
of cotton raised of the upland sta
pie
There have been 129 bales of cot
ton ginned up to December 8, with
from 1876 to 140 bales or more yet
to be ginned. What surprises even
fact that the seed cotton average
371a per cert of lint, or in other
words, 1885 pounds of seed cotton
makes bale of 500 pounds of lint
In Imperial valley, which has here
tofore held the record, they think
they have done fine when the seed
cotton averages 3S 1-3 percent, or 2
bale Of 500 pounds of lint out of
1,50O pounds of seed cotton, while
in the south j. takes from 1,500 to
1900 pounds to make a bale. Some
Individual tests have run as high as
40 per cent.
The Development company shipped
out % bales of cotton last week to
the Oakland mills, the bales averag-
ing SIS pounds to the bale. The
largest bale turned out here, which
we believe Is also a record, was tha
of Mr.. Shouse, who brought i'm load
OF 2,060 pounds which turned out a
bale of 729 pounds of cotton.
There will be load shipped out by
the way of Blythe Junction in few
days. The worst thing encountered
this year has been the extremely low
price Of cotton, which nets the grow
er from s to 9 cents per pound.
The gin is running fine and the
crop will soon be wound up in a few
weeks.
BLYTHE WILL CELEBRATE.
Christmas day at Blythe bids fair
to be one of the biggest days ever
pulled off in the Palo Verde valley.
With a big barbecued beef, donated
by Neipp Bros, the popular dispens-
ers of spare ribs and soup bones, all
sorts of sports for which prizes will
be given to the winners and horse
races enough to enable everyone to
get rid of his money, and the day
TO be rounded off by big ball in
the evening, free to all.what more
could be desired? The list of sports
will be everything from am old maids
race to pie eating contest between
hungry boys and a cooking contest
hcf o11 ho
The Parker post., 1911-12-16

Supervisors Elliott 80, Hopkins
%, Proebstel "a, Donkersley IL, Nee
den %, Smith 18.
For Constitutional Amendment, az;
against Constitutional Amendment, 3.
Maricopa.
Phoenix and Tempe went republ1-
can. but the balance of the county
is democratic, the latter electing the
entire legislative and county tickets
with the exception of superior judge.
Hayden carried the county by a ma
jority of 924 In Phoenix the cleo
ton was one of the hardest fought
ever known and the vote was unex-
pectedly large. The total vote wa
2260
The Parker post., 1911-12-16
Coconino.

In Coconino county, Ralph Gamer
on's home, he received $50 votes !;
Hoval Smith 312, Mark Smith PIG,
AShurst 220.
The Parker post., 1911-12-16
CochiSe.

Hunts majority in aCochise county
is 400. Ashurst and Mark Smith wiz
by 250, while the remainder of tn
democratic ticket leads the republi
cans by $50. All the democratic coun
ty candidates were elected.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
THEY DIDN'T LAUGH.
Mark Twain Was Funny. but Hi. Au-

Mark Twain Was Funny. but His Au-
 oienoe Gave Him the Stony Stare.
 There was one occasion when Mark Iwain's humor went astray and in-
 stead of the hilarious laughter he ex. pected poor Clemens got only sad and stony stares from the three literary lions at whom he had aimed his mirth- ful efforts as well as from the rest of
 sne banqueters who were all worship
 CTS of the burlesqued trio. The story
 Is told by r. NJ. Colby in the Book
 'uan:
 Mark Twain had gladly accepted the invitation to address the diners and. knowing that Emerson. Longfellow | and Holmes were 10 be among them. had prepared. in high confidence. a little skit telling of three absurd i'm
 posters who had announced themselves by these distinguished names at a l miners cabin in the far west. Ac. | cordinE to the story. a melancholy min l CT at whose cabin Mark Twain found shelter one night told him that three | other 'littery men" had stayed with | him the night before and given him much trousle. They were Mir. Elmer son, Mir. Longfellow and Mir Holmes In reply to Mark Twain's question the
 miner gives an account of the visit
 They were rough lot. but that's
 nothing; everybody looks rough that 1 travels afoot. Mir. Emerson was
 seedy little bit of a chap. red headed. l Mir. Holmes was as fat as a balloon. He weighed as much as 300 and had | double chins all the way down to his stomach MT Longfelow was built like prizefghter His head was crop | ped and bristly-like, as if he had a
 wig made of hairbrushes. His nose i lay straight down on his face, like a
 finger with the end joint tilted up i They had been drinking could see
 that And what queer talk they usedl 1 Mir Holmes inspected this cabin. and
 then he took me by the buttonhole, and | says he:
 Through the deep caves of thought l hear a voice that sings Build thee more stately mansions, my souli'
 Says I. 'I cant afford it. Mir. Holmes,
 and. moreover. I don't want to-" Blamed if liked it pretty well, either, coming from a stranger that way. i However. l started to get out my ba- con and beans when MT Emerson | came and looked on awhile, and then ] be takes me aside by the buttonhole and says
 Give me gates for my meat; | Give me seantharides to eat; From air and ocean bring me foods, l From all zones and attitudes" Says 1. MT. Emerson. if you'll ex- euse me, this ;aint no hotel"
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
Makinn Serap Books.

The very best kind of scrap book for the nursery is one made of linen. color ed cambric or muslin. Gut four pieces. 24 by 12 inches, and buttonhele stitch the edges Then stitch down the middle fold over and stitch again along the folded edges to make the book stay shut The edges may be scalloped instead of buttonholed Ad- vertisements may be cut from news papers and magazines and by combin- ing them make very funny pictures.
 Another kind of scrap book can be made from blank book which has all of the leaves cut across about a third of the way down. Cut from picture women. boys or girls, and. cutting off the heads, paste the bodies on the larger part of the page and the heads on the smaller part so they just fiji to- gether. By only turning part of the pages. either the upper or lower. at time each body can be made to fit a different head But you must be care full to paste the pictures So that any head will join any body. A linen book can be made in the same way
 Make the paste by mixing one half cup of flour with cold water to make a smooth thin batter Stir continually. Remove from the fire as soon as it boils and add three drops of cloves.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
Ioke on the Joker

When Professor Scheffei. the Ger man poet was staying in Italy for the benefit of his health he received from a friend in Berlin an unstamped let ter containing nothing but the fol- lowing words: "I am quite we'll Yours truly. B." Annoyed at having to pay double postage. the poet pack ed in a case very large stone and dispatched it to his friend by express. collect. The latter. in the belief that the package contained something of considerable value. willingly paid the high charges and opened the case. His feelings may be better imagined than described when he saw the stone and the label attached to il. which bore the following words: .On re- ceipt of the news as to the state of your health my heart was relieved of this load"
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
- The Scrap Book
The
Turrinc the Tattes,

# The bridegroom and his bride were srarting on their honeymoon. Just as fheY had taken their seats iii the train one of the bridegroom's chums came hastily along to bid him goodby.
 As the young husband extended his hand the friend snapped handcuf nu his wrist. The groom had been expectfng a trick of some kind. and before the practical joker could play similar trick on the bride he found .tbe ether handcuf snapped around his own wrist. He was chained to he happy bridegroom himseffl
 That's good one against me. liar
 v he said. with sickiy smile. but | shah have to ask you to come to the door with me and get the key for fbese things. A man on the platform has it
 lust then the whistle sounded. and fhe train started of. and it made no &top for the next fifty miles. Before fhat. however. the porter. with the aid .pf a file. succeeded in separating the t-prisoners-
 H The joker meanwhile had to pay f,lll fare both ways.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
Caught the Court.

An Irishman was arraigned for in toxication. aud after answering the tourt's request for his name Pat ad- dressed the judge in the fiowery Ian guage of blarney. In his plea for an- 1pfher chance Pat intermixed his title of your honor with your holiness" " ~your reverence" and other titles usual iy applied to those of the clerical carb Finally when the stream con tinued for some minutes. the judge sxtopped Pat and asked: N Now, Pat, what in the name of Thunder do you think I amT' # Pat hesitated for moment and. ecratehing his head as if perplexed, replied:
 . Sure, your reverence. judging from your kindly face. am sure that you eant be anything less than bishop. a Then amid the laughter of the at Pendants Pat was discharged.-Cincin- nati Commercial Tribune.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
He Earned the Money.

A certain pretty girl who lives on a Fashionable street in Chestnut hill has a small brother who is, as small broth %rs are apt to be. the plague of her pxistence and over whom she attempts fo maintain a rigid elder sisterly dis tipline.
 q Yesterday afternoon she saw him eating candy. z Why. Phi1.'' she said. where did you get that candy2" N -'Oh. bought it. Philip replied air Atly. and Philips sister. who knew the sGeplorable state of his finances. raised Sher eyebrows suspiciously # Where" she began-''wbered did you Sget the money?' # Philip whistled 4'I earned it he answered, with great assumption of 'dignity
 N The big sister wondered for mo- ment then laughed outright. You neyer earned cent in your life. Phila.N' she exclaimed You're too lazy for anything Tell me, very sternfy' 4rwhere you got that money # None O your business" answered
 Philip impudantly; you ain't my
 mother tell you l earned it did.
 Il earned this all right. got 1t from
 your beau yesterday afternoon when
 Saw him kissing the baSy's nurse
 Well, what's the matter2 guess
 Earned it all right" - Philadelphia
 Hines.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
An Appetizer.

Of sporting offers made by the large eaters of old that made to Charles Gustavus of Sweden when he was be- sieging Prague is worthy of recall A peasant offered for the kings amuse- ment to ,deuour a large hog then and there. General Koenigsmark, as runs the tale. suggested that one with such an appetite ought to be burned as a soroerer. on which the peasant said to the king. ''Sir, if your majesty will make that old gentleman take off his spurs l will eat him before l begin the pig"
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
Presence of Mind.

A startling incident is related of an officer in the Twelfth hussar reg. .nent who was riding with the troops i'll the neighborhood of the garrison of Merse- burg when suddenly his horse. high imettled charger. took fright and bolt ed. His efforts to restrain the animal were fruitless. Giving the horse the rein, the officer waited for chance to spring from the saddle. To his dis may, the animal suddenly swerved to- ward piece of level ground which ended in cliff overhanging the shore
 In d few moments both horse and rider would be over the edge. But a bright flash was seen for moment, and the saber of the officer fell with deadly effect upon the head of his steed. Just in time the officer leaped from the saddle and escaped.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
For eCllildren. A Locomotive Entirely
 Covered With Apples.

At horticultural fair in Sehastepel Cal, one of the most interesting ex- hibits was an apple locomotive on an apple track on apple ties, says the St Nicholas. from which the accompany ing picture is reproduced. II required several thousand apples to make this unique design.
 The framework was twenty-six feet long and six feet high. and the engine was complete. at least as to its out ward appearance The driving wheels were operated by a concealed electric motor When the power was turned this fruit engine moved along on its track
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
q Rrioht Maid.

St -i Sftt t'' S''NN'
 They are telling a story of the fa- vored suitor of Cleveland society girl who called al the house of his in amorata recently and found new par tor maid at the door "lS Miss Blank in? This is NIT Dash" he explained The maid smiled brightly "Oh. yes sir" she replied. and led him into the drawing room
 Here he waited the better part of an hour. when he finally summoned the maid again Did you forget to tell Miss Blank that l was hereT he asked impatiently
 No. sir" answered the new maid Miss Blank hasn't got back from shopping yet"
 But you told me she was in" Yes. sir. She told me positively that she was always at home to you sir"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 Told Him.
 An old Scottish farmer, being elected | member of the local school board skited the school and tested the intel ifgence of the class by his questions The first inquiry was:
 Moo, boys, can ony O you tell me what naething is?"
 After moments silence small boy arose and replied:
 "It's what ye gle me t'other day for haudin' yer hourse"
 Unaffected.
 Miss Speitz-Of course no one could truthfully speak of her as pretty. Mir Lovett-Well-er-perhaps not. but she has such a quiet, unaffected manner.
 Miss Speitx-Yes. but it has taken her several years to acquire It.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
The Hidher Law.

From Nike like springs; not corn from weeds. But corn from corn. From weeds weeds spring. And so the law of human needs From like like springs. Fxact the eternal balance swings I Above all laws of changing creeds 1n morals or of changing shings- q From like like springs. cood unto good, evil to evil leads. A Each soul itself the good or evil brings. Naught else can harm the soul that haply reads.
 From like like springs Bennett Bellman.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
RURAL FREE DELIVERY.
MAILS OPEN FROM
MAILS CLOSE FOR
From 6.So a. m. to s ?. m.

Boston. 05 l9.le a. m, ,l2. ,3.35, ,5.35, .45pu Worcester, 705, l0.l0 a. m., b, o.35, 7.451
 m,
 Danielson, :. 40, l0.lo a. rn., S5, 7.45 p. m. Hartford. LAO. l0l0 a. Ill.,, 5.S5 7.45 p. m. New York, :. 40, l0.l0 am, 3.l5,5 35,7.45 Q. New Haven, 40, 10 10 a. m., 5.35, 7.45 p. m. Norwich, 7.40, 19.l0a. m., 5-35, 7.45 p. m. Willimantie, 7.05, 10 10 A. m., 5.35, 45 p. m. West and Soutlern States, 7.05 LAO, I0.l0, a
 m. 3.l5, 3.35 5.35, 40 p. m. Worcester and New London, North, Way Sta
 tions, .05 a. m, 3.l5 D. n. Worcester and New London, South, Way Sts
 tions, 40 a. m., 5.35 m. Boston and Hartford, East, Way Stations, 7.'
 a.. m. Boston and Hartford West, Way Stations, 5.3!
 D. m. Boston and Pough., East, Way Stations, 3.3!
 D. m- Boston and Pough., West, Way Stations, lo.it
 a.. m. Boston, Providence ana New York, East, Way
 Stations, 10. 10 Am. Woodstocks, south, North. East, l0.30 a. m.
 5.35 p. m. Pomiret, 7 .45 a. m., 5.35 p. m. West Woodstock, Woodstock Valley, West
 ford and Eastford 10 90 a. m. Nights for all points 745 m. Sundays for all points 7.50 D. m.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
MORE DouB AND SOLEMN THAN EVER.

r.fresbmeDt When he got back to his compartment he found the Seotchman sitting where he had left him and look ing more dour and solemn than ever
 It's q long. wearisome journey. said the Englishman when the train started by way of making conversation
 The Scotchman looked at him with an angry frown
 50 it ought to be- he replied frig- idly: it costs two pounds nineteen and uinepence
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
Snnttuis sXiaw of Ii.

Two men. an Englishman and a Scotehman. were travelling from Aber- deen to London in train. They reached Carlisle without exchanging a word. and during the stoppage there the Englishman got out and had some
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
,J~rold's Jokes.

2 One has hearI many legendary jokes About Thackeray's broken nose. and
 Ar Walter Jerrold adds another to
 the number in the biography which he
 has written of his grandfather. Doug
 hs Jerrold apd Punch He quotes from letter which Jerrold wrote to
 Dilke of the Athenaeum, about the year lS53: Lady - is trying to con .yert Thackeray to Romanism She had better begin at his nose"'
 # When. on another occasion. Albert Smith drew JerroId'S attention to an |article which he had written for one |of the magazines and si~ned A. s" "
 De was cruelty asked. Why do you 'only tell two-thrds of the truth?
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
A Sharn Churchr1an.

 4 Of the famous Samuel Feote. eaustie Nit and practical joker. the following Nory is given: Foote tried joke on the archbishop of Canterbury, who was not To be faught The actor forwarded a copy 0f The Minor" to the primate. play so gross that Irish audiences would ha ve none of il. though it was biz enccess in England. with the polite NqueSt that if his grace saw anything obiectionable in if he would strike If ent But tho archbishop sent it back without a mark and declared after ward to friend that if he had put Den to the manuscript FOote would ttraighteay have advertised it 'as cor pected and prepared for the stage by Ais grace the archbishop of Canter bury" And. judging by what history 1ells us of Foote's character. he prob obly would # The Fresh and the Sweet. Have you some real nice choco- Ates?' he asked in familiar manner We have" replied the sweet faceo prl behind the candy counter.
 Are you sure they are fresh ana e~eet?'
 "Surer
 Have you any as sweet as your oelf?"
 \ Yes. but none as fresh as you Brooklyn Life
 Sorry He Spoke. # Husba band-Do YOU know that every ume a woman gets angry she adds . uew wrinkle to her face! N &Wife-No, did not. but if 1t IS 50
 resume 1t Is wise provision or ha' 1nre to let the world know Wnat soss 2 husband woman has.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31

Deans Rheumatic Pills for Rheum- atism & Neuralgia. Entirely vege- table. Safe. 18yl
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
When Mary Reads,

When Mary Reads. When Mary reads at school. you know. She speaks the words off very slow q see-a- boy" and things like that And ."Thomas -have-you- u-seen-the-cat?" And teacher says don't ever telD That Mary can't read very well But when she reads 10 Bob and me We scarcely want to stop for tea. She reads the most surprising things Of birds that talk and beasts with wings. And mother always smiles 10 see When Mary reads to Bob and me. It doesn't matter what the book. Dear Mary only has to look To see the incest stories there. She took Bobs speller. I declare. And sweeter tales there could not be Than those she read to Bob and rnet And so we're sure that teachers wrong And Mary'ii head the class ere long For. though the grown folks all can tell What words the hardest letters spell. It's wonderful girl so small Can read what isn't there at all.
 Youths Companion.
 Sand Tree of Prussia. Ne are accustomed to regard sand AS utterly barren. but the plants native 10 the coast sands of Prussia have been enumerated by naturalists whose estimates vary from I'll to 234 varie- ties Of these one of the most avail able is the Arunde arenaria tmarram which thrives only in sand and in the salt air of the beach This in time serves to prepare the soil for larger plants.
 Not He.
 Does he interest himself in booksT No" sniffed Mrs Newrieh: my husband has clerks to do that for him."
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
What Lucy Knew.

Mother was very busy dusting and strengthening up the house. Little Lucy was helping.
 q declare" said mother. ''I never saw SO much dust. l wonder where il comes from"
 If | knew I'd tell you answered Lucy.
 You don't even know what dust ls''
 'Oh. yes. do, mother! It is mud with the juice squeezed out
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31


 the back are also symptoms that tell you the kidneys and bladder gre out of order and need attention.
 what To Do.
 There is comfort in the knowledge SO often expressed, thai Dr. Kilmers s Swamp Root. the great kidney remedy, fulfIls almost every wish in correcting rheumatism, pain in the back kidneys, liver, bladder andevery part of the urinary passage. Corrects inability to hold water and scal5ing pain in passing 1t, or bad effects following use of liquor, wine or beer, and overcomes that unpleasant ne ~aty of being compelled to go often .ough the day, and to get up many .aInes during the night. The mild and immediate effect of Swamp-Root is
 realized. It stands the highest be-
 ofits remarkable nea.ll restoring prop Hs7TsTEIIE sssS3 critics. If you need :.ssess : sss.:s,w.-.5 sss medicine you should :ss:ss s:ss:ss s.s.:. have the best. Sold by fSki:l FIRM druggists ir fifty-eent .sE $ sl -, 5sppsss1 s1 and one-dollar sizes. Hoas -I ssampies You may have sample bottle Se' h by mail. Address Dr. Kilmer X Co, b.rs hauton, N. Y Mention this paper and remember the name, Dr. Kilmer Swamp Root, and the address, Binghamton, N. Y., on ev bottle.
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
Thousands Hare Kidney
 Trouble and HeTeT Suspect t.
How To Find Out.

Fill bottle or common glass with your water and let 1t stand twentv-four hours;
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31

a brick dust Sedi- ulent, or settling, Strlugy or milky appearance often
 indicates an un- healthy condi- ton of the kid neys; too ire queEt desire to
 pass it or pain in
Putnam patriot., 1911-03-31
Sand Tree of Prussia.
Not He.

Does he interest himself in booksT
 No" sniffed Mrs Newrieh: my husband has clerks to do that for him."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-18
CAPT. M'NARY GONE
Old Citizen and Lawyer of Topeka
Passes Away in Texas.

Captain John r. McNary, a well
known lawyer of Topeka, died Friday
night of diabetes in San Antonio. Tex.
where he had gone little more than a
week previously for the benefit of his
health. He had been seriously i'll for
several weeks. His wife and daugh-
ter, Mrs. Fred L. Carson, accompanied
him and will return with his body this
evening. Besides his widow and
daughter, he is survived by a son, J.
Orris McNary of Red Bluff, Cal
Captain McNary was 70 years old
and had practiced law 80 years He
served three years in the Civil war
with Company T. Seventy-eighth Ohio
regiment and marched with Sherman
from Atlanta to the sea. He was an
old resident of Topeka and a member
of Blue Post $50, G.. A. r.
He was assistant county attorney of
Shawnee county under both Galen
Nichols and Otis Hungate. His home
was at 1403 West street. The funeral
will be held from PenwelIs chapel at
sos Quincy street Wednesday after
n0Qn