davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
JAYHAWKER JOTS

According to the Colby Tribune, Mr..
Wolf, of Lookout Mountain, lost a
young colt last week.
The Smith County Journal figured it
out this way: great man is what he
is because he was what he was.
One Downs man boasts that he is not
a tightwad, loafer, a fault-finder nor
a gossip. And the Downs Times thinks
he must be an angel.
mo, Mabel" answers the Parsons
Sun, David Harum did not invent the
harem skirt However, at one time he
was a great horseman and was thor
oughly posted on hobbies"
A boy in Colby, who is angry because
his sister has a beau, evens up with
her, reports the Tribune of that place,
by going upstairs and sticking his bare
legs through the stove-pipe hole In the
parlor ceiling,
The Glendale correspondent of the
Minneapolis Better Way will soon &C.
cupy a prominent position among the
plutocrats. He, or she, as the case may
be, reports being possessed of 29
spring chicks, land good ones they
are"
The question is frequently asked,
why do not physicians heal them
selves?" remarks the Norton County
News and it adds: We'll most of them
do. In fact, all their lives We find them
heeling themselves,-only slight dif-
ference in the spelling Of the word
(heeD heal, that is all.
The Colby Tribune relates that there
is a housewife in it's town who has
overcome the high price of meat. She
buys 20 cent ham hook on Monday,
slices off enough for dinner, boils 1t
with vegetables for Tuesday noon, then
uses the scraps in salad for Wednes-
days lunch and Thursdays dinner.
A couple were recently married, re-
lates the Norton County News. The
ceremony over, the wife began to weep
copiously. whats the matter?" asked
the new husband. II never told you
that 1 don't know how to cook" sobbed
the bride. Don't fret" said he, I'll
not have anything to cook; I'm an
editor"
A most unusual man is the proprietor
of hotel at Smith Senter. According
to the Pioneer he cut the price of board
a dollar a week one day recently. and
gave as his reason for the reduction
that the price of all eatables had been
greatly reduced of late and he wanted
to keep in line. If Diogenes was still on
earth and looking for an honest man
he wouldn't have to go any further
than Smith Center.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

garden and care for it in such man
ner that you can take pride in it; that
you will be able to take prizes In veg
etable contests at county fairs and
other places; that you will be able to
produce something that will be of ma
terial value in the maintenance of the
family.
A plot of ground so by 100 feet will
be large enough for such a garden
with the exclusion of potatoes.
If the amount of land available for
a garden is limited, practice rotation
as much as possible. As soon as the
early vegetables have been removed
from the garden, plant something else
on the same plot of ground. By doing
this you can grow two or three crops in
one season. Every garden should have
a few hills of rheubarb. as this plant
requires little care and produces one
of the most delicious of early spring
vegetables. Some horseradish should
be planted Do not omit tomatoes.
Sweet corn should be found in all
gardens, except the very smallest ones.
Grow some of the second early varie-
ties Usually the earliest kinds are not
so successful. Among the root crops
which can be used in this way. turnips.
beets, and satisfy are among the best
ones.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

[From the Philadelphia Record
One bad tooth may feel as big as
an acre.
Spring fever germs will soon be in
our midst.
The highways and buy-ways-the
shopping district.
Lots of men are short-sighted who
don't wear glasses.
1t isn't the coign of vantage that
burns hole in mans pocket.
Conscience keeps almost as many
men straight as the fear of being
found out.
When the cook falls in love with
the ice man, can you hear the cook
coo?
The women who feel that they were
born to command always get married.
Perhaps it is natural for people to
look upon their religion as fire es-
cape.
Wigg-"That girl from Georgia is
a peach Wagg-"Ahi Then the crop
isn't failure, after all.'
Tommy-"Pop, what is scribbler's
itch ?" Tommy's Pop-tScribbler's
itch, my son, is disease of the brain
that causes it's victims to scratch for
living?"
Blobbs--"Why don't you consult a
doctor about your insomnia ?" Slobbs
What! And run up another bill ?
Why. it's because of what I owe the
doctor now that I can't Sleep
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
THE JUVENILE COURT Law.

More evidence, if any were needed,
that the system of providing compen-
sation for public officers through the
medium Of fees is anything but a good
one. is to be found in the insistence OF
Mr.. Bowman. chairman of the state
board of control. that many of the pro-
bate judges are making a travesty out
of the juvenile court law. chiefly be-
cause its administration is not profit
able to them. All of their attention is
devoted to that part of the business of
the probate court which brings them
in fees. The result is that the excel
lent purpose of the juvenile court law
is nullif1ed in many of the counties.
Youngsters, who get into trouble, and
who might be saved. If the probate
judges would give them the necessary
attention, are hurried on to the reform
and Industrial schools. Thus are they
branded for life as being among the
undesirables.
To be sure these conditions do not
prevail in every county in Kansas. 1t
is a pleasure to call attention to the
fact that in Shawnee county, where
the other work of the probate court is
unusually heavy, the Juvenile court law
and his probation officer in an especial
1y efficient manner. Many a young boy
and young girl in this county, who has
started out in the wrong way, has been
taken under the wing of the local pro-
bate court and has been started again
on the right way without recourse to
the infection of any kind of punish
ment, without the marking of the child
for all time as criminal
And the very fact that such good re-
suits can be obtained through a proper
administration of this law in Shawnee
and a few other counties, is all the
more reason why there should be a
similar administration of this law in
all the other counties of the state Mr.
Bowman has done the state a signal
service in calling attention to the derelic-
ton of duty on the part of many pro-
bate judges in this matter 1t is to be
hoped that his warning to them will
have the desired effect. If it doesn't
some other way will have to be figur-
ed out to bring them to time. The
juvenile court law is one of the best
pieces of legislation that has been
placed on the statute books of Kansas
in many years. 1t provides the only
sensible way for handling children who
get into trouble in the violation of petty
or more serious laws. Few of them are
criminals at heart. In most cases they
| need only the guiding hand that they
do not get at home. And it is little
less than criminal for probate judges
to disregard their duties in this partic-
ula<.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
WhaIer,s Cargo Rich.

The old saw. "a bad beginning
makes a good ending" would seem to
have notification in the present voy-
age of the Provincetown whaling brig
antine Viola, Capt. John A. Cook,
which has arrived at st. Helena with
1000 barrels of sperm oil and 5S
pounds of ambergris for the voyage.
Leaving New Bedford for her maid
en- cruise-the Viola was built for the
sperm whale fishery last year-the
brig turned up at Fayal. Azores, Sep
TENDER 8, with 270 barrels of sperm
oil to show for her summer catch, q
rather poor beginning. it was con-
sidered.
At Fayal practically all the forward
hands deserted and several of the
latter guard" were discharged, leaving
the craft short handed. She sailed
September % for Cape de Verde Is
lands to procure new men, was struck
by a squall three days out of port, and
lost fore and main topmasts and pro-
ceeded LOO miles under short sail, ar
irving at Cape de Verde October 6,
where she was detained until late in
the month repairing damages.
After leaving the islands she went to
the whaling field off Great and Little
Fish bays, west coast of Africa as her
recent arrival at ST. Helena indicates.
News from the Viola was not e8pecleo
until May, and then it was thought the
craft would make port at Barbados.
The Viola's voyage since leaving
Cape Verde Islands has been remark
ably successful. The oil catch alone
since leaving her last port of call as
sures profits far exceeding the average,
length of cruise considered, while the
sale of the Immensely valuable amber
girls should tend to swell the gross
profits to a figure calculated to sur
pass the best previous single season
sperm whale voyage of the last twenty
years.
Allowing $500 a pound, the price re-
ceived by the William A. Grozier Com
pany for their find of 10 pounds, the
bring $4,000. Even at present prices
it should bring at least $11,600.-Pro-
vincetown Dispatch to the New York
World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
HUAoR OF TIE DAY

Cobble-I should like to lend you that
ten dollars. old man, but know how it
would be If I did..it would end our friend
been a great deal of friendship between
US. I think IL you could make it five,
we might worry along on half as much
PA, what is artistic temperament
''Foolishness that has succeeded in get
ting itself taken seriously. Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
81 hear Mrs. Comeup is feeling very
badly on account of her being ostracised
at that summer resort" did it take?"N
Baltimore American
al had not talked to him more than fiji
teen minutes when he called me an IDIOT
''Geei He didn't violate any speed limit
in getting next, did he?'-Boston Post.
!. E;riggs Come. now. do yon think that
don't love just because she has rnonev9
Griggs-Honorable? Why, it's necessary
Life.
She-So you've been up to see tho
Browns Is their new flat very small? He
statuettes for Observation-Disclosures Trans
cript.
so you want to marry my daughter
sir?" said the grouchy old man ssYe-vsrs'
SIR" replied the youth. do you take bsS
not the reason want to marry arr I mat, is
Yonkers Statesman. ner!-
How uneasy that young man annaars, ;,
Yes. don't know whether he's e.s ?;
they're going to call on him for a s aaIaio
or whether he's just breaking in his viii
ter flannels. Detroit Free Press WIN
That huckster who comes aronna
Is back number" 81 had thougb9t mere Hiere
he carried very satisfacforv - tnat
Yes, but he sells his apples Nv - STOCK;
instead OF by the dozen.''-Buffa1Iiop 1 z
knicker-EDid Jones run throrgh
uneE CONSCIOUSNESS. He flew thro I"5.
'i@-Suose' III Ousn
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison Globe.1

IFrom the Atchison Globe.1
AS a rule, luck is hard work in dis
guise.
A bird in the hand isn't worth much
for catching insects.
1t is easy to believe a mans fish
stories when he gives you fish.
No matter if we don't know We like
to have people ask our opinion.
You can't safely figure on the train
being late just because you are
One trouble with the great American
conscience is that It loafs too much.
Lots of time is wasted in hesitatinS
over things you know you will finally
do anyhow.
There may be exceptions to this rule,
but most men have enough pocket
books.
A woman never becomes so slouchy
that she doesn't take an interest in the
fashion magazines.
You emit convince a boy who likes
to hunt, that he is paying more than
the market price for meat.
One trouble with baseball at this sea-
son of the year is the inadequate IA
cilities for heating the grounds
A reporter gets up on the game laws
to impress his friends. When he hunts
hirself he must hunt news.
Some men meet an appointment
head of time SO they can loaf few
minutes before the other man arrives.
Besides helping himself. q man who
Is good at that is usually expected to
furnish some assistance for his kin and
friends.
However, a man must do something
more than keep the scissors sharpened,
in order to qualify as a good husband.
If a boy feels he is worth good deal
more than he gets when he begins to
learn a trade, chances are he will never
learn it.
There are various ideas of the height
of affluence; a Filipino is ready to re-
| tire when he get the price of good
| fighting rooster
When a man feels that it is a shame
| to waste so much time sleeping, you
can depend upon it that he isn't one
/ who is bothered by insomnia.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
MAKE IDLE LOTS WORK.

Idle children and idle lots, COM
bined with hoes, rakes, and spades,
and put to work, will produce things
of utility and beauty and at the same
time develop an interest in something
real, says the Kansas Industrialist
This is one of the things that the ex-
tension department of the Kansas
State Agricultural college hopes to
now starting. In the past these con-
tests have been limited to corn. The
department has suggested various gar
den contests, but heretofore little in
terest has been shown in them.
The contest for boys and girls which
is to be started this year offers a good
opportunity for farmers children to
take up garden work. 1t will be an
education, and in most cases will mean
considerable profit. Seed should be
obtained as soon as possible. Sow in
rows ten or dozen kinds of vegeta-
bles most commonly used. Sow
onions, peas, and radishes as soon as
winter freezing is past, and by the
first of May or sooner have tomato,
cabbage. and pepper plants ready for
the gardeL.
At this time plant seed corn of
Adams Early, Early Minnesota, Coun-
try Gentleman, or StowelPs Ever
green. Plant string beans. cucumbers,
and squash at about the same time you
plant corn. Be systematic in your
work. Get the most out of your
ground. Make your garden look good
throughout the summer. Plant your
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Few folk have any difficulty in find
ing things to worry about.
X
People who cultivate the habit OF
waiting patiently for things more often
fail to get them.
X y
There is also this difference be-
tween pessimists and optimists. Many
of the latter are not sincere.
y
Almost as soon as humans get paSi
the mud-pie-making age, they begin
to make mountains out of molehills.
X \
Men would probably think better OF
the spring season If it were not fol
the house-cleaning that is incident
to il.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

Mr.. Montana, want to grubstake a
prospector. Will you lend me SCOOP
"Sure-or $780,
1T may be months before I can re-
pay it,
Take 10 years-take so. Here's the
dough, and says nothing to nobody.
The man who had signed the tele-
gram Gilbert was back at the ap-
pointed time, and with hat in hand he
begged the girls pardon for the in
trusion.
Il want you to go back to the noun
tains.' she said.
More iron and coal and rocks?'
"No-silver or gold. They are there,
and have faith in you. I have so
much faith that I'm willing to go part
ners."
'How-how do you mean?"
You do the prospecting and III FUR
nish the grubstake, and we will divide
as partners, If you have luck"
Why. girl-girl. you shame mel, ne
cried as he rose up with the red show
ing through the tan on his face.
II don't see why. I put my capital
against your geology and your luck.
A man would do the same. What mat
ers my sex? I'd like to own half big
mine as well as any man would"
1t was an hour later when the male
partner took the grubstake and walked
out, and two days after that he was
in the foothills. Not a letter-not
word Tor ten long weeks. Inen ne en-
tered the depot again to say:
Partner. I have come to give an ac-
counting. The Gladys silver mine can
be sold for 100000 in cash. Shall we
sell or-or-''
"Or what?''
"Or continue the partnership and
keep it in the family!"
No matter how many days it took
the partner to make up her mind. that
mine has been a family affair for
some time now. and it has paid big
dividends, and Montana Bill got his 5000
out of the first.-(Copyrighted, 1911, by
Associated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
REFLECTIONS ora BACHELOR.
[From the New York Press.1

IFrom the New York Press.1
Maybe it is heaven because they have
good cooks there.
It's bootless to preach good citizen
ship and it's boresome to practice it.
A mans early ambition to be mill
lionaire can simmer down in the end to
a ye2rning for theater passes.
It's just a mans way to take his
children to Sunday school and then
hunt around the neighborhood for a
side door.
If man stays out late at night he
gets indignant with his wife for not
understanding that the reason he feels
SO bad the next morning is because
business is poor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
THE UNKNOWN.

There are lots and lots of women under
meath the heavens blue;
Some are D. A. RS and other form the
W. G. T. u.
Some compose the Federation, some are
Antisuffrage pets,
More are Suffragists and many are the
fighting Suffragettes.
There are men by umpty thousands UNI
derneath the same old sky;
some are Democrats-the other is the Or
der My and t.
Some are in a ruptured party, one might
almost say, at sea,
Sailing under wireless signals. s. o. g.
and c. Q. d.
There are lots of men and women on the
top of little earth
Kicking up a lot of trouble, stirring I'D
a lot of mirth
There are also unknown people under
meath each shining star
And it's lucky for creation, very lucky.
that there arei
-Lurana w. Sheldon. in the New York
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

1t appears that this department was
mistaken in its first. guess about the
Dodge City critic of Uncle Waits
verse. Since his first appearance in
our be-yootiful little colyum last Sat
urday, we have received additional
proof that said critic is still in Dodge
| City; and as Mr.. McArthur's commu-
nications brand him as an ex-member
lof the guild, and his letters are an i'm
provement upon the other DopuS in
this department, we gladly print this
one 1t appears that Mr.. Macarthur es-
capped, after six short years, the thral-
dom which has held Uncle Walt for 20
Dodd CASTOR for 16, and this depart
ment for 10 years.
HOWEVER, as the interlocutor OBJ
tiful little ballad, 81 USED TO BE,
BUT I AMT"
NAY. nay, not SO fast. Ermyntrude;
you do me wrong when you suggest
that / have never done it for a liveli-
hood. For six long, weary years or
class of stuff Cor worse) that you,
Dodd Castor. Uncle Walt and the rest
of them turn out; therefore under
stand your instant and strong defense
| of Uncle Walt. To let the thought gain
ground that the paragraphs and poems
which you gentlemen grind out and
get by with, are nil would never do.
Your means of securing three squares
a day would be cut off at the pockets
and you would have to return to the
mines.-Curses! I feel 1t coming over
me again:
There vas an old lady goi ram 'er
Who always knocked hard on the
"drammer."
When she died at last
In view of her past
For a tombstone they gave her q ham,
mer.
For fear that you may desire to see
me meet with a similar fate, close
LEON McARTHUR,
Dodge City
H G P
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
snake Inside Kills Horse.

A horse owned by John Haley, of
near Mount Cuba, died the other day
despite the treatment of a Kennett
Square veterinarian, who was called in.
The animal was cut open to determine
the cause of death and three lizards
and snake were found near the lungs
and heart 1t is supposed that the liz
ards were swallowed in a gulp of water
but how the snake entered the animal
is mystery. 1t pressed against the
horses heart, causing death.-Wil-
mington (Del.) dispatch to Philadel-
phia Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News. ]


A stitch in time may save a hole in
the hosiery
The small boys stomach is usually
in apple pie order.
FASTING old jokes in scrapbool,
is one way of filing saws.
Pain has been known to transform
child into a groan person.
The alligator has great snap, but
even a lazy man doesn't care for it.
It's as easy for man to keep mon
ey as it is for a woman to keep a Sc
cret.
Nothing is more disagreeable than
a man full of whisky-unless it is a
man full of himself.
When you see a man armed with a
corkscrew the chances are he is going
to be present at an opening.
Breathes there a woman with soul
SO dead that she can resist reading a
magazine article on How to Be Beau
tiful?''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

That new law for the apprehension
of bank robbers in Kansas which makes
possible, among other things, the offer
ing of large rewards for their cap
ture. does not seem to be working very
well. 1t has been applied in one of the
recent robberies of this sort but with
out success. But then it takes some
thing more than a special law on the
subject and rewards to catch bank rob-
hers
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

Up in Iowa they seem to have the
right idea in handling safe-crackers.
-Four men were engaged in an unsuc-
cessful attempt to get away with some
100000 in the vault in the Polk coun-
ty treasurer's office. They blew it open
with dynamite all right but failed to
get the money. And within a few
hours after the attempted robbery, no
less than seven persons had been ar
rested for the crime.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

1t is apparent that the Democratic
majority in the national house of rep
resentatives means business in the
matter of economy in governmental
affairs. Its leaders have decided to
lop off a large number of unnecessary
house employees, which with other re-
trenchments, will reduce the cost of
conducting the house of representa-
tives by several thousand dollars.
Economy. like charity, means some
thing when it is begun at home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

liberties" of the people. Tom McNeal,
the Scotch-Irishman, is an ardent tenn
perance man and a firm believer in
prohibition and Sunday observance. 1t
will be interesting to note which policy
Topeka adopts at the election next
Tl1eSdav
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

Swat the cat is the latest war cry to
be sounded in Chicago. And like all
such crusades it will probably spread
throughout the country The Chicago
board of health has decided in the full
ness of its wisdom that the cat is quite
as much of a menace to public health
as is the rat which carries around the
bubonic plague. and the fly which is
the dissemination of about every dis
ease in existence. But when all these
pests are finally exterminated the
world will be strange place, indeed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

The plan to revise the calendar so
that a given date will always fall on
the same day of the week is certain
to be unpopular with the sentimental
lists and also with the manufacturers
of calendars, who have built up an
enormous industry. A single calendar
under such a plan would serve for a
lifetime. The insurance agents and
others who are now expected to give
away a handsome and valuable calen-
dar each year will likely greet the pro-
posed reform with loud applause.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

Trips to the tepee of their Great
White Father will probably not be so
popular among the remaining Indian
chiefs and their retinues. An order
has just been promulgated at Wash
ington, d. c.. forbidding the sale there
of Intoxicating liquor to visiting red
men
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-04

1t is to be hoped that the new cam
paign which the states attorney gem
eral and the county attorneys intend to
wage against perjurers and taxdodgers
will be prosecuted with vigor. There
Is certainly a wide field for it