davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06

Young man. IL you are going TO marry,
remember that in this world you cannot
very we'll marry an angel. And bear in
mind that no woman, be she ever 30
charming, is without faults.
Don't expect that life will be all sun
shine. Prepare yourself for northeasters.
and thunder-temptests. and considerable
OF uncertain dog-days kind Of weather.
Nobody can exactly explain TO the salts
faction Of the majority Of the people, why
II would not have been Just as well for
folks 20 have been happy in this world
as for them TO be unhappy.
But II was so arranged. and we cannot
help 1t, and we might as we'll accept things
as they. are without grumbling. All the
fretting that you could do in an ordinary
lifetime would not change it a particle.
When you go ACQUIRING Mary Jane, go
about II with courage. and as IL you were
not ashamed OF II. Don't sneak into the
house after dark by a back path. as IL
you wanted to steal something. Don't
avoid the odd man as II he we're a walk
ing pestilence. Talk to him in his opinions,
II you don't want him to sit down" on
you in the beginning.
Don't argue with Mary Jane. Don't say
anything 20 her about how you will toss
things around when you are married. for
you will never be able TO do II. as you will
find out when the time comes, and she will
be apt TO twit you Of H.
Don't get the snmity Of the cat and dog
Keep the little brothers and sisters In good
humor with you II you can. Fifty cents
worth Of candy, II judiciously applied,
will give a man q very advantageous foot
ing in a family where there are children.
Don't go into tantrums II Mary Jane
looks at the other fellow. You never gain
anything with a girl by showing temper.
Female human nature is perverse, and
what you think is going to fetch her
sure will only make her more indifferent
Don't pretend 10 be what you are not
II your father p.ddled soap-grease for a
living. don't tel her that he was a mer-
chant II your Grandmother ever was sus-
pected OF cheating q tin peddler, you had
better tell Mary Jane the particulars, or
she will hear the story from all the kind
hearted, weli-meaning neighbors. who feel
that she ought TO be told. and she will lay
It up against you.
Don't promise TO keep a hired girl and q
coaehman for her, unless you can do IL
Don't tell her that you never expect her
to lift her hands TO work unless you mean
H. Don't promise that her mother shall
live with you unless you have an attach
ment for mothers-in-law
Don't spend all the money you have IN
hiring autos and ice cream because you
will need II more by-and-by. to buy beans
and pork and eOrnmeal
Don't marry in debt. Be just before you
are generous; and don't take a wife unless
you can support her. And don't tie any
girl up 10 wait for you until you can make
your fortune, and thereby keep her from
marrying some other man who can make
her just as happy. A girl engaged for
three or four years is neither one thing nor
another, and the enjoyment shs eAn Eet oct
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06

EQUALITY AND FRATERNITY WITH
OUT LIBERTY"
man and a plumbers helper and babe him
welcome to our city.
" Mon Doov gasped Mark. Tt is now
that l understand. In New York you hitch
Liberty outside and you get all the Equal
ity and Fraternity you want in the sub
way"
Copyright, 1911. by the N. Y. Herald Coz.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06
~NAAO'NS AAAUOAJ IA SOAnAO 'OAh

Speaking Of the ability Of well known
persons like Mr.. James Jeffries and other
fighting individuals to come back" said
show-Me Smith as he prepared 70 take an
other strange hold on history, Il find that
Mark de Lafayette. one Of our most ceie-
brated little fighters. came back right here
In New York a number Of years after his
last fight
They made a great fuss over him, too;
pretty nearly turned the town inside out.
and before he had got through he had
kissed more women and babies than a dis
tict leader In a big campaign. spry old
ladies are still coming 10 the front with
the story Of how they we're kissed by Marx
when he came back at that time. lie must
have broken Hobson's record into a mil
lion pieces.
Mark did not come from Lafayette, Ind,
as Is popularity supposed.
We've got TO hand Il TO Indiana for
giving us all our real American authors
poets and statesmen, but Lafayette, Ind
did not produce de Lafayette and / can
prove It He merely took friendly in
terest Ia the town IndianA's always claim
ing something, no matter whether it's the
purest English or the highest democratic
majority.
He began life on the other side as a
marquis. That's why his friends and ad-
mirers called him Mark
"As fighter Mark was second TO none
on this side. 30 when he came back the
town didn't forget him. They landed him
at the Battery and the customs inspectors
greeted him cordially.
Have you anything TO declareT they
asked.
=" Only a few principles like Liberty,
Equality and Fraternity said Mark.
e" Old stuff said the inspectors. Lab
erty still on the free list, but don't know
whether they have revised Equality and
Fraternity downward under the new tariff
or not However. bring EN- in
Then the reception committee called a
taxi and metered him over to the nearest
subway. station
-. How time has changed exclaimed
Lafayette as he stepped out.
.. Yes, time in taxi is all change said
the chairman of the committee, and hust-
led Mark into the subway amid cheers
once in the subway jam the marquis
was. for drawing his trusty sword and
running the guard through.
% He olapped. me on the shoulder de-
clared the marquis Indignantly.
" No, don't kill him unless he caves in
your ribs, said the chairman. Besides
you haven't the time now. Step livelyv
They showed Mark in between "a fat
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06

He became famous as an orator and as an
advocate OF protection. The bill for protee-
ton which bears his name was passed by
the house on May 2. 1890. by the senate on
September IL. and became a law in Octo-
Der OF that year.
II won for its sponsor an international
reputation and eventually won him the
presidency. TO which he was elected in 1895
by a plurality OF 6Ol.S54 over w. ]. Bryan.
The most important event Of his first ad-
ministration was the spanish-American
war.
Renominated and reelected, again de-
featiRg ". J. Bryan, his second admins
tration. with THEODORE Roosevelt as vice
president. began March I. 1901 On Sep
TENDER Of that year. while attending the
Buffalo exposition, he was shot by an an
archist and died on September IA
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06
Tabloid History of the Presidents

William Mckinley, twenty-fourth presi-
dent OF the United States, was born
Niles. o. on January %, 1913, and died at
Buffalo. n Y, at the hands of an assassin
on September "A. 1901.
While pursuing his college course al Al
leghany college In Meadville, Pa he was
forced by Illness TO abandon IL. During the
civil war he enlisted as a private In Com
pany z Of the Twenty-thlrd Ohio vo;,-nteer
infantry lie participated in several cam
paigns and when mustered out. on July 60.
1865. he was acting assistant adjutant gen
are g., tne sJaff Of General Carroll
Two years later he was admitted to the
bar in his native state. and after praetic-
ing law Was elected 70 congress In 1871.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06
Hints to the Marrying Man

of life you can put in your eye. and IL
will not lnJure your sense OF vision a par
ticle.
Don't expect too much Of a woman, who,
like yourself, is mortal. Don't sue for q
divorce the first time nor the second time
abe disagrees with you. but bear with pa
uence-endure all things-hope for all
things, and by the time you have lived with
your wife forty years, you will have
learned that she is as good as the average.
And you will mourn her when she dies,
even though you marry another woman
six months afterward, because you are so
lonely and the children need a motheri--
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06
Nubs of knowledge

Germany has canal boat operated by
trolley.
Direct steamship service between Great
Britain and the West Indies is arranged.
Wheat was grown in China centuries be-
fore Columbus discovered America
The repair and removal of instruments
costs the New York Telephone company
$s,O0oOOO a year.
spoon which permits the most care
less persons to sip soup noiselessly has
been invented.
There are 2,26 industrial railroads in thie
country, most of which are operated Il
connection with industrial plants and do
not accept outside business.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06
The Longest Word

What is the longest word IN the English
language?' asked Uncle Tom.
''Valetudinarianism. / suppose" replied
James, who had taken a prize in spelling.
NO" spoke up Susie; ITS smiles be-
cause there is a whole mile between the
first ana last letters"
II know one" said Jack, that has over
three miles between it's first and last let
ters."
What word is that7' asked Uncle Tom.
"Beleaguered." cried Jack triumphantly.
Il know one" said Philip. that Is longer
than that 'Transeontinental' has a whole
continent between its beginning and end
ing"
Interoceanic beats them ALL" ex-
claimed Elsie. for It contains an aeean,
and an ocean is larger than any CONT
nent."-IAppincott's .....
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06
Polyglot Proverbs

The ripest fruit first falls.
Cultivated ground has few weeds.
A shut mouth keeps one out Of strife
Hedges have no eyes. but they have ears.
Fancy requires much. necessity but little.
Anger breeds, hatred. concord sweetens
love.
O..
A willing helper does, not wait until he Is
asked.
Necessity seeks bread where It is to be
found.
Smooth runs the water where the brook
is deep.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06
June 6, 1911.
TUESDAY,
Name and Address.

Name nd School. Year
August Burden 4sOs
Samuel B@ac 1917 Pacific ST. Pa S isSs
Leon
Daniel Carr 2127 Douglas 1sOS
Frank Campbell
Caushin sherman
COnceta Camp. Pacific isOI
Carl Evans 1910 North rwentysventh ST. Tp
Frank Frahm 45Oa Leavenworth st....... Beals 1898
Pauline Griffith ais Chicago High .......1ss1
Dorothy p Heaton' 1897 Hamilton St. Franklin .issS
Saunders
Gretchen aen ISL Lake Lake
Ethel James 1415 South Fifth 1901
Barton H kGhn' 2i2t Davenport Central 1891
John 1917
Helen Iund 51s North ToTeth st. Saunders 1901
Florence Maensen s117 Decatur Franklin .....lsss
Edward MaisenOacher 1901 LOthrop
Katherine Newhart 24 Nineteenth
Frane P,sSao asa7 south N,neteentb St oesaar
Ruth Peterson 1545 South Twentyeshh Park
Nellie A Ra'oh a 5000 sprasus St Druid HILL 1901
Lena Raousn SC4 North Sixteenth . cass 1908
Nettie Ramsey s2O Patrick Ave Long 1893
Helen stenicka 141s thirteenth Comenius
Marsareth sOrenn 422 Pierce ST. Beals ....lSOt
MAUD H. stee an Avs sz o S Se En.Un s
Pb Sherman snG ao55 North Nineteenth St. s
MaOelS short 1ao1 South Eleventh st Lincoln
Vernon n0 b r. Smith S st n BOYD st. Monmouth
Joseph Schmidt a414 South Eighteenth St.
cr 1 nrv S aet tns .a4o Lax. cHn o
Ruth Ruth M Taylor 800 Charles walnut Hill
Helen B Toy 1915 Henderson st. Lothrop 1889
Warren G. %enaler I'M Mrard Hotel c cuo i
Stanley F. wea 1915 South twenty st. Dupont
Netie wakensht FOrty-second and sts Windsor 1sss
wilson. South Thirteenth
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06

In New York during the first three
months Of the present year ga persons were
arrested for splitting in public places.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-06-06

ITO say 1t. A long, Shiny slur on the name
Of womanhood. It's a tragedy. I have no
aspirations to play stage hand in one like
II. That's another reason why 1 do not
marry"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
LAUREL ID VOTE ON COMMISSION FORM Election Will Be Held in Mississippi Town Today.
 Negro Pardoned

Jackson, Miss, December B-tSpecial)- The citizens of Laurel, Jones county, will vote next Tuesday, December 19, on the proposition to run it's affairs hereafter by a commission form of government more thar 10 per cent of the taxpayers of the community having petitioned for an election. It is proposed to nave three commissioners, under S5oc0 bond each, the commissioner chosen as mayor to draw salary of 5000 per year, the other two s1S00. They are to devote at least eight hours per day to the business for which they are elected.
 The sentiment for commission form of government has been growing in Jack son for some time, and there is little doubf that efforts will be made in rsat direction during the next few months. The people of Jackson appreciate the fact that they are living beyond their means, and are determined to cut down expenses somehow or other. Many of them have an Idea the commission plan is the only way to accomplish it, but they are ready to try anything that prom ises relief.
 Governor Noel has granted a pardon to Will Watson, negro sentenced from Waynes county, four years for burglary.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
VAGUE EVIDENCE
 SAVES AGED MAN

Albuquefdue N. NJ. December lS.- White haired and bent, Donacio Espalin, 80 years old, will today. upon the instruc- tions of the court, be adjudged innocent of a murder which, it was alleged, he committed many years ago. Espalin was on trial m the district court of Don Aha county at Las Cruces. Two witnesses oi the alleged killing. men who then were boys, wesr among those who testified. Espalin, after the killing, went to Old Mexico, where he remained until a few months ago, when he went to Ysleta, Tex where he was arrested. The evi- dence the court declared, was at this late date too incomplete and vague to incrimi- nate Espain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
HOLIDAY RUSH ON
 MORRIS AVENUE Business Is Exceptionally Good in Fruits and
 Produce

The holiday rush was in evidence on Morris avenue Monday as we'll as among the retail houses of the city. Business on the thoroughfare was decidedly good, trade being exceptionally heavy for fruits and produce Merchants are expecting a continued rush from now until after Christmas.
 A feature in the poultry markets was an increased demand for flyers and fresh eggs. A shipment of fresh eggs was re- ceived during the day, but being very small they were soon sold out, some as high as 35 cents dozen and some at 8 cents. There was plenty of fowl, both old and young.
 Important receipts were two carloads of celery. Two more cars of celery are expected to arrive today, which will be on sale at SC a crate, and 90 cents and $1.25 per dozen punches.
 Quotations remain stationary.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19

TWO elegantly furnished rooms in mod
 ern home, with or without board. 2l05 11th avenue, south 12-l6-ot
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19

FOR SALE-One good negro house, close in, $750. Will consider vacant lot as part payment. This property is well worth 5000 E. J. Burns, 201Sk 1st avenue Bell phone T66 M.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
DRAINAGE CONGRESS
 MEETS IN FEBRUARY

New Orleans, December 1S.-Executive and sub-committees in charge of the plans for tine convention of the National Drain age Congress of America, which meets here February next appointed Sunday at meeting of business men, met to- day and effected permanent organization. The main committee is made up of chair men of subcommittee, and is composed of Edward Wisner president of the Louisiana Development league, chairman; 1; Edward O. Wild, vice chairman; Sol Nexler, ways and means and finance; George l. Smith, transportation; M B. Trezevant, headquarters and accommoda- tons; Walter Parker, publicity, and Pros ident J. w. Porch.
 Edmund T. Perkins of Chicago, presi- dent of the congress, is due to arrive here tonight to confer with the committees
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19

MEN or ideas and 1nVentlve ability, Writc Greeley & McIntire, patent attorneys, Washington, D. C., for their list of in- ventlons wanted, and prizes offered by leading manufacturers. 13t-12-19-tu-th-su WANTED-A collector willing to work and give bond. r. R. Lippincott, 52O N. 18th street
 MONEY making proposition for live men; inv estigate. Call between 9 a. m. and z p. m. at 1904 4th avenue for particulars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
COFFIN SECURITY
 FOR BOARD BILL

Savannah, Ga, December 1S-The Ho- tel Pulaski of this city probably has the most gruesome security for board bill that has been left on the hands of a landlord in some years. It is a coffin which was left there by drummer for undertakers supplies two weeks ago. The pioprietors of the hotel have tried to get the negro walters to take chances on the gravity of the exhibit in a raffle, but they will not speculate They will not touch it to remove it from the store
 room. The proprietors are puzzled to know what disposition to make of it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
Indians Pitiful State

Juarez, Mex, December 1S.--Conditions of the Tamahuara Indians, located in the mountains of this state, west of the city of chihuahua. are said to be deplorable These Indians who were active in the revolutionary cause, planted no crops and il is reported are now on the verge of starvation. A delegation of POO of the tribesmen in Chihuahua, making the sec ond appeal to the government for imnis- diate aid, las arrived.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
WITNESSES BACK
 FROM MICHIGAN

Jackson, Miss. December 1S.--(Specla'D -Chief of Police c. B. Allen, City En- gineer John I. Pearce and others from this section. who were summoned to Grand Rapids, Mich, two weeks ago to attend a suit for heavy damages against the Illinois Central Railroad company on account of the wreck of passenger train and it's destruction by fire two miles north of Jackson three years ago. have returned. reporting that the railroad gained the suit This was for loss Of baggage etc, by parties who were going to the Mardi Gras.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
Flour and Foodstuffs

Corrected by Tennessee Mill Co,)
 Self-raising flour. s5.75. Nellie King floui. per barrel, $5. Boltea meal, per 96- pound sacks, $1 .65 No. corn. per bush- el, kiln dried. s5c. Pure wheat shorts, $S4. Pure wheat bran, $50. c. S. hulls, per ton, $lO Prime c. S. meal, per ton, S29. C. S. feed meal, per toll, s25. No 1 timothy hay. per ton. s2S. Mixed alfalfa and Johnston grass s2O. Corn chops, per 100-lb. sacks, $1 .65. White oats, 66c.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
FOR SALE

TAIK MYTH ALAN JhMlaoN.
 BEII 1O0 Peoples 6i. 6-Ftt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
Fruits and Produce

lCOfrecled by DOugIdS Br0sJ
 Apples fancy northern, per bbl., $4q5.50; bulk, $2.75@3. Oranges: California. per box, 8. Lemons: Fancy, per box. s5 Lines: Imported, $1. Pineapples: g 75 @3 per crate Grapes: Tokay, per crate, s2. Concord, pony basket, l4c; S-lb basket. 30c. Irish potatoes: Per bushel, $l.15; Sweet Potatoes: Dooley yarns. per pushel, 751 soc; Rutabagas: Canadian, lb., 1lsc; On ions: Red Globe. per h., 2slc; Spanish, per crate, $1.65. Celery Colorado, per crate, s6; per dozen punches. 9Ocd1. .25; Oranges, Florida. $2.F9; Cranberries, per box. $2.75q3; per bbl s11
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
DIES ON PULLMAN
 IN UNION STATION

Pittsburg, Pa, December 1s.-Harry II. Baxter, a well known young man former ly of this city. died as tile Pullman car on which he was returning from Bart letsvile, Ollla., for d Christmas visit, reached the Union station here today. He had become i'll while the train was speed- ing across Ohio, and telegrams had sum moned hospital ambulance and a physi- clan at .he station to meet him He was dead when they reached the car.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
Poultry and Eprs

Corrected by Garrett a HineD
 Hens-30Q50c; live. per pound, l0c; large flyers, 10c Ib.; medium flyers, be per lb; small. 15c per lb. Ducks-SvQ4Oc each. GlIineas, 25c. Boosters, 25c each Geese, 504G0c. Live turkeys, 16@17c ib Dressed turkeys, 1sq20c ID. Eggs, fresh 5O432c. Country butter, 20@25c ID.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
WANTED

SHANI INI-IVc al I5zI HII ave. oIo-tI WE repair all makes of stoves with ex- perienced help. Robert Prowell Stove
 Co.,. 3l3 North goth street. 7-27-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
WANTED-SALESMEN

WANTED-Salesman one who can show
 results: salary and commission to right
 man Apply Talking Machine Co.,. 1916 3d avenue. 12-17-3t WANTED--Salesman for high grade line elders and vinegars Exclusive or as side line. Liberal commissions with
 weekly settlements. Fine opening for good man. References required. Burr Mfg. Co.,, Richmond, Va. l2-l9-3t-tu-th-su
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
--=-- WANTED-MALE HELP

ABLE BODIED men wanted for the U. & Marine Corps. betwcen the ages Of l9 and 30. Must be native born or have first papers. Monthly pay sl5 to s69
 Additional compensation possible. Food, clothing, quarters and medical attend ance free After 30 years service can retire with 75 per cent of pay and al- owances. Service on board ship and ashore in all parts of the world. Ap- ply at U. s. Marine Corps Recruiting office. 13 simon Block Birmingham. Ala. l2-l-lmo
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19

1l. .s34.-Lat5e eonifoftaDie
 rooms; convenient to business section.
 1s161a 1st avenue. Bell phone 6122. 6-2a-tf [ l. E Avalon: choice outside rooms: beau-
 tifully furnished; modern conveniences;
 moderate prices. 2100 5th ave. l1-S.tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
LOCAL QUOTATIONS
Local Cotton
Pig Iron
Meats
Corrected by Armour & Co,

~
 Lard, 10Sc; compound. Ssc; D. S. short ribs, 940c; D. s. fat backs S.65c; clear bellies. 9.9Oc. Ham butts, i2Rc; Boston 111ac. Pork loips, 13c; spare ribs 10lac; breakfast bacon, 1919Q21c. Star Reg ham, 14s4c. star skinned ham, 15Ac.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19

FOR SALE-l20O acres best pine timber land in the state, Is miles west Tusca- loosa. Apply Fred Martin, S5l Madison avenue. Memphis, Tenn. l2-s-lVt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
Cnffen and Snrar

Corrected by Franklin Stiles X Franklin.)
 Coffee: Arbuckles, $2430 per 1O0 lbs; Luzanne, 27c ID. Sugar Standard granu- lated, 6lsc lb.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
office
for parole of James r.

Application for parole of James r. Latham, convicted in Jefferson county in Jnnc, 1905. of highway robbery in two cases, will be made at next pardon hoard meeting. MRS. M'kIILIN.
 2i N Pauline St, Memphis, Tenn
 ... ... HffF na+ i2-1g-a St -tu
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
AUCTION

SICTlON SALE-Comnencing daily at tp m, the entire stock of the old book store at TIPS Third avenue will be sold without reservation, to the highest bid der Come in and bid. You may get Q hundred dollar book for 1j cents.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
Noti..e to stockhoIders

Notice is hereby given that the an nual stockholders meeting of the Amer ican Trust and Savings bank will be held in it's banking rooms, at it's pres ent place of business, 1923 First avenue, Birmingham, Ala., on Tuesday, January 2, 1912, at 3 o'clock p. m., for the election of directors, and the transac- tion of such other business that may come before said meeting
 C. M. WILLIAMSON, i o19-96-1-9-e Cashier
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
FOR RENT

FOR RENT-Best located boarding house in city. 16 rooms. 5th avenue, between 18th and goth streets. J. F. Dryer Title Bldg. 12-l7-7t EryR RENT-To a couple or small fam fly, modern apartment with steam heat. water refrigerator. gas range. and modern conveniences See Mes ser Real Estate and Insurance Co.
 12-1T-tf FOR RENT-10 room modern house, fur nislled. at 2oi9 Avenue I' city; price reasonable. See b. N. f'iic at house.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
Notice Of Application for License

To Whom It May Concern:
 Take notice that the undersigned, Mark stein Liquor Co, of Birmingham, Ala, will make application to the excise com mission in and for Jefferson county, Ala bama. for license to carry on the business of wholesale liquor dealer in the city of Biriaing ham, Ala, at 40S North Twenty sixth street. in said city.
 MARKSTEIN LIQUOR co.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19

N NANTED-Men and boys to learn auto mobile business, new and modern ma
 chinery: new cars, best equipped school north or south; good positions for our graduates. Charlotte Auto School, thar lotte N C. 11-26-Su-tu-thu-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-19
Phones 607
LEGAL NOTICES
Bids Wanted

Bids will be received for the erection of the Sumter County High school at York up to December 21, 12 m. Plans and specifications may be seen with the building committee or may be had by addressing P. B. Pepper York, Ala. This building is to be brick and two stories. 2-6-l6t