The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1911-03-02
RJSS|A'S JESTER.
baIakIreff Is the Joe Miller of the
Muscovites.
HIS NIT TICKLES THE BEAR.


Wcndrous Deed of Daring.
Every nation has its typical Jester
"'odhd whom crystalline all the float
lug stories of people. Thus England
u"s It's Joe Miller, Germany its Till
haIeaspiegel, Italy its Punchinello, the
Orient its Nasreddin ell Khoja and
huss'a its Balakireff Like Joe Mil
ler' the last was a real character,
'"od&h not all the jokes credited to
NINA were his own. Some were inven-
uoA5 Of later age; others We're Dor.
IoWed from the past. He shares the
croalt for many of the latter with Joe
Miller and Eulenspiegel.
history records that Balakireff was
The favorite jester Of Peter the Great
tradition represents him as the con.
slant company of that car, frequent
" exercising his wit at royal expense
one day, for example, a cousin of his
mad Iallen under the cars displeasure
and was sentenced to death. Balaki-
ref undertook to obtain a reprieve
The ear guessed his errand even be-
fore he opened his mouth.
No.' he cried. "'Tis no use your
coming here. l swear that will not
grant what you are going to ask"'
Balakireff dropped at once to his
knees. Peter Alexeivitch," he cried
Il pray you, put to death that scamp
Of cousin of Miner
Peter, thus caught in his own trap
had no choice but to laugh and send
a pardon to the culprit.
On another occasion Balakireff ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
his masters domestic guards. Peter
consented for the sake of the joke
but warned his jester that death was
the penalty If any officer Of the
guards absented himself from his post
the volunteer he sent him up t1agor
of wine to "moisten his commission
Balakireff, as was expected, drank t6
the intoxicating point. While he was
sleeping off his debauch the car him
self crept into the room and carried
kireff. though badly scared, on awak
ing made shift to replace the missing
weapon with his own wooden imtta
/ ton of the guardsmen's sword. HI
was called to parade next morning
when Peter feigned hot indignation
! at the untidiness Of one Of the guards
Captain Balakireff." he cried at last
| Jaw your sword and cut off the hea,
16f that sloven!'
! Balakireff cast his eyes up to heav
In. "Oh, merciful God" he prayed
fgrant that my sword may turn int
wood before use 1t on one of my owl
BELOW soldiers!'
And, 10. when he unsheathed 1t tn
sllade stood revealed as wooden one
Hleter laughed heartily at the knave'!
|Lresence of mind and restored him t.
avor.
A more serious offense resulted IL
he Punishment of the Jester. "Neve
are to appear again on Russian soil!'
formed the emperor. Judge then O
Peters surprise when, week later
ne beheld his old favorite coolly drfv
Ing a cart past the palace.
How dare you disobey meY shout
' ed the enraged monarch. did l no
forbid YOU ever to show yourself OF
Russian soil?"
"Nay," replied Balakiref, II hav'
not disobeyed you. This is not Rus
sian soil.''
How say you-not Russian soilT
"Truly not. This CARLOAD OF eartf
on which I am sitting is Swedish SOIL
dug it up in Finland only the othel
day"
Again the car laughed uproariousl!
and readmitted his buffoon to favor
Some historians add that when NJ
heard the excuse he said, "lf FINLAND
be Swedish soil now it shall be Rus
sian before long" threat he was no
slow to fulfill.
This story, however, was an old ont
long before the time Of Balakiref1. /
forms the twenty-seventh adventure
Of Till Eulenspiegel, who Is reputed u
have died in 1850. Having onenoee
the Duke of Nuremberg. TIL was TOT
hidden the land" He purchased shii
ling's worth Of earth to I'LL MS car
with. and, being duly challenged py TN
duke, he answered.:
my gracious lord, I am not IN you
land, but in mine own, wherein III
sit. l bought it of boor TOT a sun
ling. And rightfully could he sell II
for from his forefathers he 1nherlte'
It. So is this truly my land
At the close Of one Of Car Peter
campaigns Balakireff overheard SOM
Russian officers Boosting OF exlpolt'
they had performed.
"Nay." he cried, II can tell a bette
story than any of you" And, pelh'
messed for the story, he continued;
"Never hava l liked this modern wa.
~ fighting all In a body together
Surely it would be more manly 10
each to stand by himself. Therefor
went l out alone in search OF adVeh
lures. One day while reconnoiterlh'
near the enemy's outposts l espieo
Swedish soldier lying on the grouno
Before he could rise and give th
alarm / rushed upon him and VIII
one blow from my sword cut on oil
right foot"
"You foolr' cried one of his auditors
"yybv did YOU not cut off his head!'
$50 would have done retorte'
BalakirefY, Except that somebody els
had already done t''-Wasning'o'
Atar