davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press., 1911-11-22
BATTLESHIP NEW YORK.
Admiral Sampson's Grandson Placed
First Ejvet In Her Keel.

Admiral Sampson's Grandson Placed
First Eivet In Her Keel.
To Wat Tyler Cluverius, Jr., grand
son Of the late Rear Admiral Sampson.
was given the distinction Of placing
the first rivet in the keel Of the United
States battleship New York, work on
which has just been begun at the
Brooklyn navy yard.
The New York will be Americas big
gest battleship. She will have ten
fourteen-inch guns, and her engines
will be of $4,000 indicated horsepower
Her displacement will be $1,000 tons,
length over all 573 feet and width 95
feet. She will cost $8,4OO,OOO and will
be completed in three years. She is
expected to attain a speed of 21A
knots.
Among the novel features introduced
in the new battleship will be several
guns Of three inch caiber for special
use in connection with airship attacks.
These guns will be mounted vertical
ly, so as to shoot straight up into the
The river press., 1911-11-22

This bank solicits accounts, and
offers to depositors absolute security.
prompt and careful attention, and the
most liberal treatment consistent with
safe and profitable banking. Buys
and sells foreign exchange, drawing
direct on all principal American and
European cities, and issues its own
Letters of Credit.
Interest paid on time deposits. The
highest cash price paid for approved
state, county, city and school bonds
and warrants.
The river press., 1911-11-22


PLACING THE FIRST BOLT.
air, and will allow Of great mobility
in their range. Special carriages will
enable them to shoot at any angle.
Another novel feature Of the New
York will be complete change in
method Of fire control-that is, direct
ing the firing Of the gums. Hitherto
guns have been fired from the coming
tower level with the bridge, but spe-
cial tower for fire control will be intro
duced for the first time. The utmost
perfection in electrical appliances will
be attempted, and the safeguarding Of
these appliances from the enemy's fire
Is one Of the toughest problems the ma
val constructors have to contend with
Quite number Of new devices-naval
secrets at present, however-are to be
utilized for finding the range Of foes
In battle.
The river press., 1911-11-22
but before the case came to trial /
settled with him for $3.50.

OUT OeIOTe the case came TO trial
settled with him for $3.50.
II had been sent to Jail without the
option of tine. | was taken out on
writ of habeas corpus and admitted
to bail and was therefore free to ap-
pear In court.
THE case did not end when the
jailer squared up. Three or four poll.
ticians saw that my lawyer was max.
ing too much capital out of it. and they
set out to down him. The result was
that it became a political contest of
interest to all in that legislative dis.
trict. and after mud singing cam.
paign and a close vote my lawyer tri-
umphed over all and came out With
flying colors. The district was upset
politically for the first time in eight.
cen years. and all because of a tramp.
Experience In New Jersey.
my last JAIL" continued the dilapi
dated gentleman. was in New Jersey
and only last June. My arrest came
about in rather singular way-that
is, it would be accounted singular out
side Of New Jersey. l had been walk.
ing all the forenoon, and about IL
o'clock l sat down by the roadside to
rest and have a cold bite. Pretty soon
a farmer came along leading a bull.
and Just as be reached me the bull
broke away. knocked the man down
and jumped into field and gored a
calf.
"Although l offered my services to
help capture the bull, the farmer in
sisted that was to blame and had me
arrested. 1t was claimed that my
presence excited the animal to mis-
chief. and ON the ridiculous charge |
was sent to Jail for fifteen days.
told the jailer at once that | should
stand on my legal rights as prisoner.
and. though he sulked over it. he car
ried out his part of the contract to
the very last day.
WronsfuIIy Held Eight Hours.
MY sentence Of fifteen days expired
at noon Of certain Wednesday. Jail
and prison sentences always expire at
that hour. the same as insurance poll
cies. This jailer probably knew the
law better than did. but in order to
get even with me he kept me until
s O'Clock in the evening. 1t was
then raining heavily. and l refused to
60 out. He had me flung into the
street and added kick by way Of
farewell and probably thought he had
seen the last OF me.
Next morning began suit against
him for false Imprisonment and on
top of that another for assault and
battery. and he had hardly consulted
a lawyer before he was ON hand with
an offer to settle with me for $3.50. /
closed with him at that, and think
the lesson was one to do him good.
Yes. I've been in Jail. and perhaps
l shall bring up behind the bars again.
but shall accept it all as in the days
work and stand by my rights.
"Thank you again for the coin. You
have delivered the cash. and l have
delivered my story. Best and safest
principle in the world to work on.
Saves all bookkeeping. prevents mis-
understandings. and there are no long
drawn accounts to 60 over. I'm sure
of bite to eat and bed tonight. and
If you haven't got the worth of your
money III bear on little harder next
time"
The river press., 1911-11-22

Stands High.
"Would you say the presidency or
the judiciary is the noblest institution
in the land?" asked the interrogative
person.
"Without intending to cast a slur on
either the presidency or the judiciary"
answered the opinionated person. II
should say that pay day holds that
enviable eminence. Express.
The river press., 1911-11-22
JUDGE W. J. POLLARD.
Hs Represented the United States at
Congress Against Alcoholism,


Congress Against Alcoholism.
Judge William Jefferson Pollard of
st. Louis, who has won quite a repu-
tation by his unique and original
method Of dealing with "drunks"
brought before him, represented the
United States and delivered an address
at the thirteenth international cot
gress against alcoholism, held recently
at The Hague. The congress discussed
the relation of society to alcoholism
and the relation of the state to alcohol
ism.
Judge Pollard's plan is the reforma-
ton of drunkards by the proba ton or
pledge method. He withholds sen
tence and releases the accused on per-
sonal recOgnizance upon the pledge
not to drink within years time. If
the pledge is broken the offender Is
The river press., 1911-11-22
Approved,

Approved.
Philip was conceited youth. One
evening he called upon some friends
and picked up the new Webster's Un-
abridged Dictionary. which lay on the
table.
"What do you think of it. Philip?'
asked the host
"Well." was the reply. 80 far as l
have looked it seems to be correct
Success Magazine.
The river press., 1911-11-22

Futile.
"Usin' profanity to a mule"
said Uncle Eben. don giner'ly
accomplish much 'cep' to give
de mule a chance to show off his
superior dignity."-Washington
Star.
The river press., 1911-11-22
Lioht Needed.

Light Needed.
'This is the twentieth anniversary
of my marriage"
'That so?"
swell. is that all you have to say?"
Look here! Are you fishing for
sympathy or congratulations Y'-Hous.
ton Post.
The river press., 1911-11-22
JAIL EXPERIENCES
Di!apidated Gentleman Tells Sto.
ries of Arrests,
PROFIT FROM STAY IN CELL
He Learns That He Has Some Riahts,
Though Sentenced to Imprisonment.
and Young Lawyer Helps Him Col
lect From Authorities.

BY N. QUAD.
Copyright, 1911. by Associated Literary
"XN my wanderings to and fro
said the dilapidated gentleman
as he pocketed the quarter ex-
tended to him and bowed his
thanks. 1T has happened that I have
seen the inside of several country jails.
In each and every case was SEN
fenced as tramp. and the time was
for various periods. In some states
they have given up trying to grapple
with the tramp problem: in others they
are alert to lay hands on him and try
The river press., 1911-11-22

IVERSIDE CAMP lO593, Modern Woodmen
N of America, meets every second and fourth
Thursday of each month at Odd Fellows hall at
O'Clock. Visiting neighDors cordially invited.
j. c. MYERS, &C.
J. E. EPPERsoN, Clerk.
The river press., 1911-11-22

w. G. CONRAD, Pres.
JAMES T. STANFORD,
Vice.Pres. and Manager.
A. E. SCHWINGEL,
Cashier.
OMAR j. MALCOLM,
Asst. Cashier.
The river press., 1911-11-22
Nnid W. hut knoSn

"0id We but Know"
Did we but know our neighbors' thoughts
We'd have far less conceit.
Nor would we hold our chins in air
When we walked down the street.
Did we but know our neighbors' thoughts
Our overweening pride
Would seem SO senseless and absurd
We'd steal away and hide.
Birmingham (Ala.) Age-Herald.
Did We but know our neighbors Thoughts,
Wed all be busy. too.
Explaining how we can afford
To live the way we do.
Did We but know our neighbors' thoughts
II all were understood
The chances are that we would seek
some other neighborhood.
Chicago Roeor0.aeram.
The river press., 1911-11-22
A College
For
|lrnnni8rants::

~OUNTEsS ANNIE LEARY is
to found great university on
~ the highest point of Staten Is
land, New York, in memory of
Christopher Columbus. She will be
aided in her project by Hetty Green.
Fitting foreigners for the highest Amer.
ican citizenship is the special work.
On the eighty or more acres near Cas-.
tleton which are to be donated by the
papal countess there will also be erect.
ed a gigantic bronze statue Of the dis
coverer. The movement already is un-
der way, and the countess and Mrs.
Green are confident they will easily
succeed in inducing their wealthy
friends to contribute toward the statue,
II not for the university.
The countess is eighty-two years old.
Her charities and gifts to the poor are
many.
Statue to Guard Immigrants.
'My university" she said, II shall
regard as the elimination of my life
time of charitable work. 1t will be in
deed the elimination of my whole life.
I wish to have on the highest point Of
Staten Island first gigantic bronze
statue of Christopher Columbus, the
discoverer of this country, who shall
watch the poor and oppressed of every
nation who come to this country. Then
that they may become other than poor
and oppressed want the university to
be there to fit them to the life of this,
the greatest Of nations. The university
shall teach them everything that is
taught upon the face of the earth. 1t
shall teach them the gentlest of arts,
that of music, and it shall give to them
at first hand the history of the nation.
It will cost millions before it is COM
pletely established, but it shall be es-
tablished.
Hetty Green Her Oldest Friend.
II have talked with the representa-
tives Of the pope about the project, and
the pope knows have the thing in
The river press., 1911-11-22

Well, Rather!
Uncle Jackson showing city boy the
farm,-With all your city eddication.
sonny. I'll warrant you don't know
which side you milk a COW frum.
The Boy-Sure l do! It's the under
side!-Puck.
The river press., 1911-11-22
Conrad Banking
COMPANY,
GREAT FALLS, MONT.

PAID UP CAPITAL. 100000
The river press., 1911-11-22

Must 6e Up to Date.
''She has model husband"
1910 or l01lw-Detroit Free Press
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-05-03

guitar and sang love songs in a beau
tiful tenor. looking at Bella all the
time. And Bella sat in steamer
chalr, with rug over her and q
spangled veil on her head, looking at
the boats on the river-about as soft
and as chastened as an acetylene
head light
And after Max had told the most
improbable tale, which Leila advised
him to sprinkle salt on. and Dallas
had done a clog dance, Bella said II
was time for her complexion sleep
and went downstairs, and broke up
the party.
IF she only gave half as much care
TO her immortal soul" Anne said when
she had gone, "as she does to her
skin, she would let that nice Harbi-
son boy alone. She must have been
brutal to him tonight. for he went to
bed at nine o'clock. At least. SUD
pose he went to bed, for he shut him
self in the studio. and when I
knocked he advised me not to come
in"
/ had pleaded my headache az an
excuse for avoiding Aunt Selma all
day, and she had not sent for me.
Bella was really quite extraordinary.
She was never in the habit of putting
herself out for any one. and she al.
ways declared that the very odor OF
sickroom drove her to Scotch and
soda. But here she was. rubbing Aunt
Selina's back with chloroform Iini.
ment-and you know how that smells
getting her up in a chair. dressed
In one Of Bellas wadded silk robes.
with pillows under her feet. aad then
doing her hair in elaborate puffs-
braiding her gray switch and bringing
It. coronet-fashion. around the top OF
her head. She even put rice powder
on Aunt Selina's nose and dsbbed VIC
let water behind her ears, and said
she couldn't understand why she
(Aunt Selina) had never married, but,
~ course, abe probably would some
day
The result was. naturally. that the
old lady wouldn't ,et Bella out Of her
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-05-03

next. Jim third. and the HARRISON boy
not In the running.
1t was Just after dinner that the
surprise was sprung on me. Mr.. Har-
bison came around to me gravely.
and asked me II felt able to go up on
the roof. On The roof. after last
night! 1 had 10 gather myself togeth-
er; luckily. the others were pushing
back their chairs. showing Flanagan
the liqueur glasses to take up. and
lighting cigars.
i do not care to Co." said icily.
The others are coming" he per-
sisted. land IL could give you an
arm up the stairs"
I believe you are good at that"
said, looking at him steadily. Max.
VIII You help me to the roof"
Mr.. HARRISON really turned rather
white. Then he bowed tremendously
and left me.
Max got me wrap. and every one
except Mr.. HARRISON and Bella. who
was taking mass Of indigestibles to
Aunt Selma, went to the roof.
Where is Tom?" Anne asked. az
We reached the foot of the stairs.
Gone ahead to fix things" was the
answer. But he was not there. At
the top OF the last flight / stopped.
dumb with amazement; the roof had
been transformed, enchanted IL was
q fairy-land OF lights and foliage and
colors. l had to stop and rub my
eyes. From the bleakness of a tin
roof in February to the brightness
and greenery OF July roof garden,
You were the immediate inspira-
ton, Dallas said. HARRISON thought
your headache might come from lack
OF exercise and fresh air. and he has
worked us like nailers all day. I've
blister on my right palm, and Har-
bison got shocked while he was wiring
the place. and nearly fell over the
parapet We bought out two full
sized florists by telephone"
1t was the most amazing transfer
nation AT each corner a pole had
been erected. and wire crossed the
roof diagonally. hung with red and
amber bulbs. Around the chimneys
had been massed evergreen trees In
TUBS, hiding their brick and mortar
ugliness. and among the trees tiny
nights were strung. Along the parapet
were rows of geometrical lockwood
plants in bright red crooks, and the
naps OF crimson and white tent had
been thrown open, showing lights
within, and rugs, wicker chairs. and
cushions
Max raised glass OF benedictine
and posed for a moment, melodra-
matically.
TO the Wilson roof garden!" he
said. ITO Kit, who inspired; to the
creators. who perspired; and to Taxa
hiro-may he not have expired"
Every one was very gay; / think
the knowledge that tomorrow Aunt
Selma might be with them urged them
to make the most of this last night Of
freedom. tried to be jolly, and sue
ceeded in being feverish. Mr.. Harbi-
son did not come up to enjoy what he
had wrought. Jim brought up his
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-05-03
Preventing a Disturbance.

Colonel Scotchem was weary. He
had had very arduous day retreating
from the enemy. and he wished to re-
coup his strength in order that he
might retreat still further on the NOR.
row.
MACPHERSON" he said to his new
servant. I'm going to snatch forty
winks' sleep. Stay in my tent and
see that I'm not disturbed"
Mac saluted. Five minutes later the
shores OF Colonel Scotchem were cut
short by the loud report OF gun.
e"Great Scott!" cried the colonel.
Are the enemy upon us?"
Ma. dinna fret" replied Mac, In
sorting HIS head reassuringly through
the tent flap. 1T was only a wee
mousie. But az l thought he might
wake you up shot him. ANSWERS
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-05-03
Copyright i0Os, BY the Bobb.- Merlin Co.
SYNOPSIS.

James Wilson or Jimmy as he is called
.by his friends. Jimmy was rotund and
looked shorter than he really was His
ambition In lie was to be taken seriously
out people steadily refused TO do So his
Art is considered a huge joke. except TO
himself, IL he asked people to dinner ey-
sGryone expected frolic. Jimmy marries
Bella Knowles; they live together a year
and are divorced. Jimmy's friends ar
range 10 celebrate the first anniversary
or his divorce. The party is in full swing
when Jimmy receives a Telegram from his
Aunt Selma. who will arrive In four hours
=, Tor Visit Isl. him and his wife, He neglects 70
into his confidence he tries TO devise
some way so that his aunt will not learn
gests that Kit play the hostess for one
plight. be Mrs. Wilson pro tenn. Aunt Sc
Una arrives and the deception works out
as Planned. Jim's Jap servant Is taken
III. Bella. Jimmy's divorced wife. enters
the house and asks Kit who is being ia
Ken away In the ambulance? Bella insists
II Is Jim. Kit tells her Jim is well and Is
In the house HARRISON steps out on the
card on the door He demands an ex-
PLANTATION. The man points TO the placard
and HARRISON sees the word Smallpox
cannot leave the house until the quaran-
Hne Is lifted. The guests suddenly real
tears. tho men consider II a good Joke
The all important question arises as to
WI, VINO Is to prepare the meals and perform
ally solves the matter. After the lifting
OF the quarantine several letters are found
In the mail box uhdelivered. one is ad-
dressed to Henry Llewellyn. Iquique
Chile. which was written by HARRISON
He describes minutely OF their incarcera-
ton. also OF his infatuation for Mrs VIII
son. Aunt Selma is taken III with la
grippe Betty acts nurse. HARRISON
finds Kit sulkinR on the roof She tells
MIN that Jim has been treating her out
rageously. HARRISON fully believing that
che IL Mrs. Wilson, tells her that she
doesn't mean the things she is saying
anout her husband. Kit starts down.
stairs, when suddenly she Is grasped in
the arms OF man who kisses her sew
ersl times. She believes that HARRISON
Gid IL and Is inundated. Aunt Selma tells
Jimmy that her cameo breastpin and
other articles OF jewelry have been stolen
she accuses Betty OF the theft. The fol-
lowing morning Jimmy was In rage
the papers printed story about the In
generation OF the party. and that one OF
the guests had attempted to escape by
means OF laying a board across the roof
TO the adjoining house. but was frus-
at him.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-05-03

IF9
~ harness never had to be repaired:
II all leather was cheap and good
II horses never ran away
II accidents never happened
THEN
Any harness would do for you
Everybody would guarantee their harness
All harness would give satisfaction
And buyers would not DO disappointed.
BUT
Cheap leather is not strong and coon be-
comes brittle; cuts and blemishos can be
hlled and hidden with paste and heel ball
Few people can tell tho quality of trim
mings when they are new, and many manu-
facturerg sacrifice quality 10 get q choau
price.
TTIEREFORD
To be or tho safe side buy harness that ara
sold as harness should be sold
Harness OF known value that bear tho trade
mark OF n responsible manufacturer, and
have the guarantee attached insurine Won
that they are what they look to be-
GEMCO Harness are such
kvey set IL carefully inspected ~ tho factory They
guaranteed By him and by ITO will give yon signed
cerhcate agreeing 70 make good any material
or wofkmanshp without expense 70 ron. Tho trade
marx "0emco II found all box loops 0F1MCO
ness yOur money tack ~ aatieed ~ vou mora
Information Wrto Us and mention your dealers name.
THE GRAF-M0RSBACH CO., CINCINNATI, OHIO
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-05-03
Forestalled.


District Attorney J. F. Clarke of
New York was talking about the re-
cent kidnapping cases.
'Kidnapers." he said. are apt to
disappear now. They have become
too unpopular. Why. n kidnaper IL as
unpopular as a widower
widows. now. are very attractive.
but about widower there Is always
something uncanny. something almost
clammy-I mean. OF course. from the
matrimonial point OF view.
Il know a widower who is thinking
OF marrying again. He thought he'd
breach the matter delicately the other
morning to his little daughter, SO he
said:
"'Ah. my dear. how did love your
mother!'
But the little girl gave him a sus-
picious look and snapped:
Say do" not did" papa"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-05-03
TRAIN LOAD AFTER
TRAIN LOAD OF
SETTLERS
ARE GOING TO CENTRAL CANADA.

The question OF reciprocal trade re-
Canada has provoked considerable
discussion and interest. Whatever
Else the discussion may have done. IL
Gas brought out the fact that on the
Canadian side OF the line the agri-
cultural situation is one that forces
attention, and 1t has also brought forth
The fact which 1t is well to face. that
on the American side OF the border,
there Is vastly increasing popula-
ton to be fed with n somewhat de-
ereasing proportion OF food products
This article is intended to point out
TO those who may wish to become or
those who can raise wheat, oats. bar
ley. FAX. cattle and hogs at the least
cost that the opportunities In Central
Canada are what they are seeking.
During the past year the Off cial fig
ures show that upwards OF 100000
americans located I'm Canada, and tho
greatest majority OF these have settled
on farms. and when the time comes,
which 1t viii within few years. they
Will be ready to help serve their par
ent country with the food stufrs that
It's increasing population will require.
The immigration for the spring has
aow set In In great earnest, and train
load after train load OF splendid
class OF settlers leave weekly from
Kansas City. Omaha. Chicago. De-
Toit. st. Paul and other points. Most
81 these are destined through to points
IN Manitoba, Saskatchewan and AL
oerta. The reports that come from
the different farming districts there
are that the spring is opening up well,
and the prospects for q splendid crop
this year are very good. In some dis
tricts good homesteads are yet avail
able. The price OF all farm lands has
naturally had an increase. but II is
still away below it's earning capacity.
The immigration branch of the Domin.
on Government has just published its
1911 illustrated pamphlet. which may
be secured on application to thee De-
partment of the Interior, Ottawa,
Canada, or any of the agents of the
Dominion Government, whose adver-
usement may appear elsewhere in this
paper.