Arizona republican., 1911-06-24
POOLYOOLY AND THE LUMP
Copyright. 1909. by tho Pearson Pub
 fishing Company.
By Edsar sepson-

Mir. James laughed hearty. but un. sympathetic laugh, and said, You
 were extraordinarily funny last night. I've never known you more romantic. And all the while you were making an
 egregious fool If yourself. you were | more ineffably solemn than Solomon in all his glory. Ermyntrude's friends
 will be able to swear conscientiously 10 the entire seriousness of your pro
 posal of marriage"
 Why didn't you stop me? You call yourself my friend" walled MT. Hilary i Vance.
 Stop you9 Why, you were superb! From the endeaTments you lavished on
 the young lady. l gathered that your
 vocabulary is the largest an impas-
 stoned lover ever possessed. Stop you? Check the idealist in his flights? Never, Besides, you would fill your. | self up with that gas By love, fl
 did stimulate your imagination"
 ''Oh. what a fool was, What am l to do?" groaned MT. Hilary Vance.
 If marry this girl, my life is
 blighted."F Tt is And. 1t seems that she has 6 tremendous case against you. You've l paid her all kinds of attentions l you've given her fowers-you took her 1 to music halls. What on earth did you do that for?"
 She's a type-a wonderful type the soul of the slums."
 But il must have bored you to ex
 tinction."
 ., .ls h. Irnr | the people of the slums without know ing their soul? I'm an artist, James "a conscientious artist"
 And now youll be 8 conscientious defendant in a breach of promise case said MT James.
 Horrible, Horrible! Thank heav- en the river is Al hand!" cried MT. Hil- sry Vance
 If you go on talking about suicide | whenever you're in one of your messes.
 one of these days you'l forget yourself | and go and commit it" said Mir. James | coldly.
 Well. what am I to do?"
 Either you must marry Ermyn trude, or square her. said MT. James.
 She shall be squared!" cried MT | Hilary Vance with an heroic air. Then | his face felf: and he added. But am ! justified? Suppose the poor girl al ready loves me. You say l was very impassioned; and when l am impas l stoned"
 "Oh. get out" said Mir. James. For the next few days MT Hilary
 Vance sighed and grOaned heavily be | fore he became absorbed iu his work;
 and all the while Pollyooly wondered whether Ermyntrude had been
 squared. and what she looked like now
 that she had lost her rounded con. tours.
 She was much distressed by the ar. | tists suffering; and after some thought she resolved to consult the i Honorable John Ruffin in the matter. | for she had the highest Opipi0n of his
 wisdom. As he ate his breakfast one morning. she told him the story of Ermyntrude and the artist. Seeing her gravity he heard her gravely. and questioned her grayely; l then he said: "A very sad case. and one not unparalleled in my own per sonal experience. Only the lady in my | case adorned the second row Of the Gaiety chorus claimed 10 br the daugh- ter of Post-Captain on active service. and, l assure you, never missed an ditch James. his friend. was right: Ermyntrude must be squared
 Yes, sir" said Pollyooly She hesi- tated and added. Will they squeeze her square, sir?'
 The Honorable John Rufnn gasped; then with firm seriousness he ex- plained that squaring Ermyntrude meant paying her money 10 withdraw 1 her claim t0 the hand of MT. Hilary Vance.
 "It would be a pity to pay money l to a girl like that. sir said PollyOOly.
 "It would" said the Honorable John | Rufin But it will have to be- On the Sunday the sun was so bright
 that the roaming spirit came on Polly | ooly: and reckless of extravagant
 tram-fares. she took the Lump to Bat ! tersea Park.
 They went down a side-path, and
 were entering a shady lawn, when the
 Lump extended an arm and said. Pretty"
 To Pollyooly's surprise. he was point 1 ins at the execrable feathered hat of l Hal liOl Oic So | sitting on a bench. but not alone. ] pasty-faced, loose-lipped young man | sat beside her: and his arm was around her slender waist. Very quietly Pollyooly drew the
 Lump. whispering 10 him not to make | sound. into the bushes. and stole | through them 10 a position where she ! could see the false Ermyntrude, and l hear her talk.
 l She was further shocked 10 observe | the pasty-faced young man kiss Er- myntrude: and she was stirred to the
 warmest indignation by their talk. It ran on the amount Ermyntrude should
 exact from Mir Hilary Vance. of whom | both of them spoke as "a fair old jug gins"
 It ran on, broken by kisses, for half
 an hour; then the young man said,
 You touch i'm for fifty quid. an I'll
 marry you on Wednesday week"
 "Ryght o, Ho. Emery. won't it be
 q bit of Orl right?' said Ermyntrude. With that they rose and proceeded | briskly. not at all on the lingering feet of lovers, to the gate of the Park. | Pollyooly and the trotting Lump fol | lowed them to the foot of the Albert Bridge and saw them take a bus