davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
Re..ra,,r Programmes

T have attended several of the free band concerts this summer and nave enjoyed a good deal of the music, but several of the programmes contained too many trashy pieces" said citizen.
 T am not musically educated and am no more discriminating than the aver age business man. but I do like to listen to a fine march, a fine waltz, light opera selections and standard overtures A little of the cheap class of rag stuff goes a long way with me.
 "Nappi seems to be an excellent band master He has an exceptionally good band and I am glad to see that his pro- grammes this week contain less of the slangy' music and more of the better class of light music than was heard earlier in the summer. No one eN- poets to see classic programmes for open-air concerts, but numbers such as were announced for West park VIII come very near pleasig the crowd, even those persons of some musical cul- ture"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
Dissolution of Standard Oil

On:September 30 the original giant trust will be as dead as Hector at least. It will at that time be cut up into S3 companies, but no one can readily tie up the stockholders of that many companies. Each stockholder in the 83 companies will certainly dispose of his holdings according to his indi- yidual plans.
 The Standard Oil was given six months from May 26 in which to dis solve itself and its monopoly prac- tices, and the indications are that the 33 companies, each independent of all the rest, cannot be conducted in the old Rockefeller fashion for keeping down competition.
 If there is an attempt on the part of the 33 companies to conduct a monopoly they can all be sued for establishing a new conspiracy in re- straint of trade, and then their last condition will be worse than their first. But it is not at all probable that the B companies will be illegally conducted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
Texas Politics

''1 sojourned nearly month in Texas last spring, and I was there again last week for few days said H. J. Hains- worth of Chicago. "The prosperity of Texas has been proverbial. Few states have pushed ahead at faster rate. There Is a good deal of political turmoil in the Lone Star state at present, growing out of the prohibition question, but things will quiet down in the course of time.
 The statewide prohibitionists made an earnest effort to fasten constitutional pro- hibltion on Texas, but the anti-prohibi- tionists won at the polls by a small ma Jorlty' A few months ago while the campaign was in progress there seemed to be little excitement. Everyone remarked the absence of mud singing that had characterized prohibition fights in other southern states. But week or two be- fore the election there was a good deal of bitterness, I am told No matter apout that, however, there is a good deal of bitterness now. The prohibitonists in Texas die hard. One would have thought that after the landslide defeat of the statewide prohibitionists in Missouri and the restoration of local option in Ala bama all the people in Texas would have profited by the practical lessons referred to and not pushed an ultra measure at this time. Drastic prohibition has been an utter failure in states containing growing and ambitious cities My predic- ton Is that in 12 months from now the in- harmonious conditions in Texas politics will have passed away. Business men know what harm is done by constant po- litical agitation. The best thing Texas can do is to follow the example of great
 wealthy and progressive state like Mis-. souri. If one talks about statewide pro- 1 hibition in Missouri now he is looked upon as one far behind the times"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
AN ANGRY SCIENTIST

From the New York World.
 l Inther Burbank of Santa Rosa, Cal,
 known to the world by the Burbank po- l tato and the spneless cactus, has been aroused from his dreams by the United States department of agriculture. It ap- pears that the department has distributed spineless cactus which it declares to be fjust as good as the Burbank cactus. "'ln his wrath MT. Burbank has been able only to say that the department cactus is ''such ancient trash as might have been cultivated by the builders of the pyra- mids," and that the cause of agriculture and of horticulture would be advanced by "the dismissal from the department of some of the low-browed, narrow gauged, pin-headed employees"
 Such language hardly befits a scientist who lives among flowers and whose wrath should be as spineless as his cac- tus. An experimenter who delights in novelties and has a genius for producing them ought to invent new words and de- velop new phrases. MT. Burbank might have made his controversy with the de- pertinent the occasion of a public benefit by the production of a new controversial epithet. That he has gifts in that line is shown by his statement that his cactus Ifs the most valuable improvement in vegetable life during the centuries, fully equal in importance to the discovery of new continent" That is a fine sentence, worthy of poet. But any inventor of a patent medicine, soap or corset can de- nounce as "pinheads' the fellows that dare to offer something else as being "iust as good"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
Postal Banks in This Country

On January last 48 postal deposi- tories were opened in second-class postoffices. There are now about 1000 in operation, and some of these are located in the largest cities in the country. Everywhere the postal bank is received with favor and deposits in them are steadily increasing in amounts.
 The simplicity of these banks is one of their strong points. One merely takes to the postal bank any sum available from $1 to s1OO, for which one is given certificate of deposit, a duplicate of which is kept on file in the bank. Not more than $1OO may be deposited in any one month, and no depositor may have balance on deposit at any time of more than $500. But part of his balance may be converted into federal bonds pay- ing interest at 2ls per cent. These bonds are to be had in denominations of $2O, $10O and $500. Funds left on deposit year bear interest at per cent.
 The postal bank is an additional in- ducement to thrift, especially among a foreign-born population, and Bir- mingham is awaiting it's turn to be
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
Condition of the Growing Crop

The government report shows that the condition of cotton on July 26 was exceptionally good. The plant stood nearly 10 per cent better in the aver age than 1t has in the last 10 years on July 26. A betterment of 10 per cent means. great deal of cotton, un- Hess things go awry hereafter, and that result becomes every day less and less probable.
 The government in an unofficial way says the percentages presented point to a crop of 14,093,000 bales, as against 13,S2S, ,846 bales in the cotton year of 1909, the present record crop. The latter crop was grown in the sea- son of 1908, and the expectation Is that the present growing season will eclipse the one of three years pre- vious in cotton production.
 The markets had pretty accurately discounted the government report and changes in prices after it's appear ence were narrow, some months sell ing a few points up and some a few points down. The government report simply met the expectations of brokers in New Orleans, New York and Liverpool.
 The condition of the crop of Ala bama is put by the government at 94 per cent of normal. The condition of the crops of the other large-produc- ing states are marked below Ala .oana's, the only exception being Georgia's, which is put at 95 per cent of normal. The report of the depart ment is well sustained by the facts gathered by President W. P. G. Harding. Both Mir. Harding and the
 government point to a bumper crop in
 Alabama, and the latter to such a crop probably throughout the rest of the cotton belt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
BIG ENOUGH TO WORK
rom the Boston Traveller

From the Boston Traveller.
 Artists do not all look alike, any more than grocers or typesetters do. Never. theless, many persons are surprised at ar artist who Is not small, anaemic, deli cate of feature, and decorated with 8 bowling necktie. Such a person lately visited the studio of a certain artist ir that city.
 The man in question wears a big red ,beard, and stands six feet and some inches high. His shoulders are broad and his muscles hard from continued exer- else. woman entered his studio and asked for the artist That's him standing over there" the attendant said.
 | The woman looked over to where the artist stood, towering like an ancient viking and grasped, Why" she whis- pered in surprise, Ines big enough to work, isn't he?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
Oscar Underwood and MT. Bryan

William Jennings Bryan has con stituted himself adviser in-chief of the democratic party, and as such he should, especially when dealing with accepted leaders, be just and correct. He should have in hand facts when he
 assails one placed in high position by fellow democrats. This is what he did not do when he accused Mir. Un- derwood of opposing revision of iron and steel duties because of per sonal interest.
 Mr. Underwood answered the charge of Mr. Bryan on the floor of the Huose in the frankest and most explicit manner. He showed that he had favored a revision of the iron and steel schedule. MT. Underwood's s statements were fully sustained by MT. Kitchen of North Carolina, whom Mir, Bryan had lugged into the con tentiop. MT. Kitchen proved sup porter of Mir. Underwood in all things.
 MT. Unaerwood's integrity and straightforward policy stand fully and absolutely vindicated, and the House accorded him an ovation rare ly equalled in that body. The closing words of his impromptu speech de- serve repetition. ''The statement, he said, "issued by the gentleman from Nebraska is false. Applause on the democratic side) It has been proven false here today. l hope that the gentleman from Nebraska made the statement by being misinformed by other persons, and that the responsi- bility for the falseness of the state ment does not rest upon the shoulders of the gentlman from, Nebraska, but if that is so, then I say, MT. speaker, it is due to the gentleman from Ne braska, MT. Bryan, it is due to my self, it is due to this great democratic party that sits here today, that MT. Bryan should come out in the open, give his informant, investigate the facts, and when he finds the state ment is false, brand it as it ought to be branded before the American peo- ple." Loud and continued applause
 That is what Mir. Bryan should do. It is perhaps what he will do, and all fairminded men await MT. Bryan's reply with interest. He surely will not be unjust to the leader who is working as few congressman work to bring duties down to a revenue basis all along the line.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
Uncle Sam's Available Battle Fleet

An expert writing in the Scientific American claims that our naval strength is today greater than Ger many's because our guns of large calibre are better placed. The big guns on our dreadnoughts are mounted in turrets placed on the cen ter line running from bow to stern. These guns can therefore be fired in either broadside through wide arc. They cannot be fired dead ahead or astern to advantage. The sea bat ties of the future will, however, be fought by ships maneuvering six miles or more apart, and the ship that can fire the heaviest broadside will be the most effective.
 England has adopted the American plan, and no more turrets are placed in her ships abreast on either side of the center line. Germany still clings to the old method and she can not, for that reason, bring so many guns to bear in broadside. The old Maine, now lying in the mud in Ha- vana harbor and the old Texas that was recently shot to pieces in target practice were the only American ships that had turrets placed accord ing to the discarded method. sq
 Our ships are modern and there is every reason to believe they would in an emergency prove effective. Let us hope they will never be needed in warfare-that they will serve in peace until they are discarded by time and the changes that are con- stantly coming up in battleships.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
A DISAPPOINTMENT

From Answers. i Far from the madding crowd Gin the dining room), Bertha and Bertie cooed together under the library palms. They had been engaged for nearly fortnight and the blissfu flight of time had lief; them eager for the day.
 "Is 1t too soon to think of it. Bertie? she asked.
 No, never too soon!" replied Berte striking his head fervently against the n,antelpiece.
 She pressed her hand to her throbbins heart, while he pressed his to his aching temple.
 ''Then. dear" she murmured, 'let it bt three weeks from Thursday"
 "Beggin' yer pardon. miss, but you'll have to make 1t hearlier in the week. said a voice through the keyhole Thurs day Is my day houtv
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
THE BACHELORS REVENGE.

The golf club bachelor was getting a bit peevish. He was convinced that some mischievous young matrons had been "haymaking' in his room at the club while he was in the city, but he couldn't prove it. Heated attacks upon the club attend- ants produced only blank stares. Every time he visited his room, to find 1t giving spirited imitation of a whirlpool rap- ids, he had observed the aRresaid mis- chievous young matrons regarding bim with laughter-lighted eyes. But there is no legal proof in that. And so he waited for his revenge, getting hotter each time the raiding happened. Fresh, I call it, he muttered angrily to himself. Petit coated smafties!'
 The other day his chance came, The suspected matrons had been batting the little ball vigorously. over the links, and canle back to the clubhouse wholesomely purple in the face and deicately dripping with precipitation They dropped into chairs. "Oh. dear" said the one to the other, ''I'm too tired to go to the dress jag room. But wish I had some powder here"
 The bachelor volunteered. He said he would go to his room and bring them
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
The Iron Market

There is more activity in the iron mar ket. and s10. 50 for No. foundry is quoted for fall delivery, an advance of 50 cents a ton. Rogers, Brown & Co.'S Cincinnati report says:
 'The week has seen a decided change for the better in the pig iron situation, and this influence has been widely felt While nothing is as yet rushing, there is better feeling throughout and reports from all sides are encouraging
 Prices have been raised in several in- stances in the south, due to well-flled or der boks and disinclination to sell further iron at less than cost. The southern fur naces are not as yet a unit in the mat ter of this advance. but it is believed it will be but a short time before they are all practically on the same basis.
 ''We understand consumption generally is improving. Several of the largest steel makers are operating on increased time and report business picking up. There will probably be closed in the next day or two. The crop situation is of high or der and is having its good effect
 Coke is about the same, production not having increased to a noticeable ex- tent. Movement of pig iron and coke so far by the railroads is good, but it is only question of time when they will again be showed under with crop move- ment."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04

is not wholly beyond the danger line, a normal crop is already made in this state. The caterpillar may do good deal of damage to late cotton, but no matter what happens we will have a 1, 200, ,OO0-bale crop in this state. And Alabama also has a great corn crop this year.
 Fall shopping usually becomes brisk in Birmingham about the middle or September, but we will see good deal of activity here before the end of this month. I think it is safe to say that the last half of 1911 will witness gen uine prosperity in the retail trade or Birmingham"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
WASH THE BOTTLES MOUTH

From the Chicago News.
 When you open the milk bottle be sure that you first wash off the top and mouth Even when the milk man is late, do not say, well. for this once it won't hurst for just at that one time the milk man might have driven through a street where dust might have been raised by the night white wings and portion settled on the tops of the milk bottles. Four little water on the lid of the closed bottle to- morrow morning and reflect it under the gaslight and you will find that the tiny lake will not need a microscope to tell it's tale of dust lying there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

powder. He sprinkled that powder gener- ously over a cool, fresh handkerchief and handed it to the ladies. They were plen- tlful in praise of its excellence. So smooth, they. said-so refreshing. They hoped their husbands would get some of tlie same powder. "Men always have the incest things. anyhow" they said. And then, as they sat and famed, a gentle perspiration began again. They put their hnsers to their cheeks and rubbed bit And rubbed some more. And the bache- Tor threw himself upon the ground in the eifort to conceal his agony. A fine father covered the glowing faces of the two young women. As they >patted their bles.
 What is this powder, anyhow?" they demanded.
 shaving powder" he yelled, giving way completely Cincinnati Times-Star
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
Charles Lamb. The Dissertation on Roast

| Charles Lamb. The Dissertation on Roast | Pig.
 1 ~F all the deicacies in the whole IV mundus edibilis I will maintain O roast pig to be the most delicate | I speak not of your grown porkers-
 things between pig and pork-those hob
 bydehoys-but young and tender suck
 lng-under moon old-guiltless as yet
 of the sty, his voice as yet not broken,
 but something between childish treble
 and a grumble-the mild forerunner of a
 grunt. He must be roasted. I am not
 ignorant that our ancestors ate them
 seethed, or boiled-but what a sacrifice! | There Is no flavor comparable, will
 contend. to that of the crisp, tawny, we'll | watched, not over-roasted cracking, as it is we'll called-the very teeth are in vted to their share of the pleasure at this banquet In overcoming the coy, brittle
 resistance-Yith the adhesive oleaginous- oh call 1t fnot fat, but an indefinable sweetness growing up to 1.-the tender | blossoming of fat-fat cropped in the bud taken in the shoot-in the first innocence the cream and auintessence of the child pigs yet pure food-the lean, no lean, but | a kind of animal manna-or, rather, fat
 and lean tif it must be sol so blended and running into each other, that both to- gether make but one ambrosan result, or common substance.
 | Behold him, while he Is "doing''-it
 seemeth rather refreshing warmth, than
 a scorching heat. that he Is so passive | to. How equably he twirleth round the
 string Now he is just done. See him in the dish, his second cradle, how meek he ieth! Wouldst thou have had this in-
 nocent grow up to the grossness and in-
 docility which too often accompany ma | turer swinehood? Ten to one he would
 have proved a glutton, a sloven, an ob-
 stinate, disagreeable animal-wallowing | in all manner of filthy conversation
 from these sins he is happily snatched | away
 | Ere sin could blight or sorrow fade,
 Death came with timely care | his memory Is oderiferous.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
UNDERwOOD's BOOM IN NORTH
 WEST

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 That the boom of Hon. Oscar Underwood for President is by no means confined to Alabama and that the gossip of his name in connection with the presidency is meet ing with general favor in the north among democrats was declared Monday by Inn migration Commissioner Lee Cowart, who has returned from Chicago. where he at teIded the National Land show.
 1T was agreeably surprised to hear MT. Underwood so warmly praised as pres ideItial possibility while I was in Chi caso," said Mr. Cowart. Whenever was introduced to a stranger and he learned that l was from Alabama he immediate ly set in to praising Underwood. They considered him a serious presidential pos silility and I had many northern demo- crats to tell me that Underwood should te pressed for the place and that his Can d!Gacy would met with favor in the north
 Beyond doubt, Congressman Underwood is now a great national figure, and the north appreciates this fact as well as We in Alabama do. The only victories the democratic party have won in 50 years in tha nation have been won on the tariff as an issue Mir. Underwood fits the tarifl issue better than any democrat we have
 MT Underwood's conspicuous ability as tariff reformer and leader. his 1a- rniiarity with every phase of the tarin question, together with his long exper, ience in the House, coupled with the fact tha, the tariff will be the paramount is' sue in the campaign. makes him at this tine an ideal candidate. He Is as apie man as the nation contains today ana ls becoming so considered by the democracs of the whole country"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
Bessemer Thriving

T spent several hours in Bessemer one day this week and was glad to see signs of prosperity in every direction" ," said Maj. E. T. Taliaferro
 II had not been to Bessemer for some time, and while I expected to find a good deal of activity there, the industrial sit uation was even better than I antici- pated. Our neighboring city is the center of large and healthy mercantile trade and the citizens there all seem optimis- tic and full of enterprise. There is no question of Bessemer's steady growth"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04

served to one by Postmaster General Hitchcock. No doubt one will be placed here in the next 30 days, and Jefferson county will then have three such banks. The three will be located at Bessemer, Ensley and Birming- ham, all active industrial centers, and all full of wage earners and other prudent people.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
"MARY OF ARGYLE"

Old Sons. I have heard the mavis singing His love song to the morn;
 rave sen the dewdrops clinging 1.c the rose just newly born;
 Eut a sweeter song has cheered me At the evenings gentle close;
 have seen an eye still brighter
 Than the dewdrops on the rose.
 Iris thy voice, my gentle Mary,
 And thine artless winning smile,
 That have made this world an Eden,
 Bonny Mary of Argyle. Though thy voice may lose it's sweetness And thine eye it's brightness, too; Though thy step may lose its fieetness And thy hair it's sunny hue,. Still to me shalt thou be dearer Than all the world can own; I have loved thee for thy beauty, But not for that alone; have watched thy heart. dear Mary, And its goodness was the vile
 That has made thee mine forever,
 Eopny Mary of Argyle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHEI.oR

From the New York Press.
 There's no excitement in the world to beat twins, except triplets.
 When you take mans umbrella it S borrowing; when he takes yours it's steal ing.
 A man can't even be an uncle of new baby without thinking most of the credit for 1t is his.
 just by falling in love a young college b,aI who has to be supported by his fam iy gets an idea he could support one of his own.
 < small part of the population is always fussing about the constitution, and the re3r of i' about the standing of the base ball teams.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
TIMELY SUGGESTION
From Scraps.

In 1884 in a Missouri town SgnOr Brig noli came forward before the footlights to apologize for Christine Nilsson's non-ap- pearance. Mine. Nilsson ees leetle horse," he said. To make the matter very clear he repeated: Madame ees a little horse, leetle colt" Whereupon a man in the gallery brought down the house by remarking audbly: Well, then, why don't you trot her out?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04

Europe can outdo Captain Hobson With one hand tied behind they can do more war whooping in a day than the member from the Sixth district does in whole month
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-04
SHuT IN.

Of habbling brooks a poet sang, His soul athirst for woodlands wild, And all his fevered fancy rang With song of birds. by blooms beguiled. Eut high grim walls still closed him
 round
 And loud the city's traffic roared; Nepenthe's stream he never found Until his parting sigh upsoared.