The Washington herald., 1911-11-20
BY DOROTHY DIX.

ny DOhOlhl bAAs
A young woman tells me this tale of
woe.
She is married to a good man, with
whom she is much in love and who loves
her. They are poor people, but the hus-
band is a hard working, industrious, am
bilious young fellow, and the wife is
thrifty, capable woman, who keeps
the home as neat as a pin, and manages
their finances wonderfully.
There is but one thorn in this domes-
tic Eden. Before he was married the
man had insured his life for 81, 200 for his
mothers benefit, and he refuses to make
over this policy to his wife on the ground
that his mother is an old woman, and
that If he should die he wants to be
sure that she will not be left destitute
This infuriates the wife who thinks that
her husband shows a lack of affection in
not considering that if he were to die
that she also would be left without any
money.
So bitter has the wife become on this
subject that she threatens to leave her
husband, for the little shadow of the in
surance policy has become a black cloud
that has blotted out all of her happi-
ness.
silly Thing.
This woman wants to know what
Il,
should like to knock all three of these
obstinate pig heads together for letting
such a silly thing ruin their lives For
the sake of a prOblematicaI 1000 they
are sacrificing all of the Joy Of home and
love that might be theirs. Believe me. II
isn't worth it,
IL L were the wife I should consider
myself lucky woman to be married to
man who hN1 enough gratitude and
10 lion =
guard the old age of the mother who
went down into the shadow of the grave
TO bear him, who tOiled and sacrificed to
rear him, who watched by his bed when
lie was sick, and went without necessi-
ties that he might have Iuxuries. There
is no nobler sentiment on earth than
nllal love, and the man who honors his
mother is a mighty safe man to tie to-
lie is the kind of a man who also hOnors
and protects his wife and is faithful and
loyal to her.
If were the wife I should admire nv
husband thOusandfOld more because
he was ready to stand by the mother
In her old age who had stood by him in
his helpless youth. I should try to be
big enough TO say to myself. It's all
right about his giving his mother this
money, because she is old and feeble and
not able to work And I am young and
strong and able 20 take care of myself if
any catastrophe should happen to this
man who is our bread winner. And I
know, certainly, ihat just as soon as he
is able TO provide for me he will do it as
he has provided for his mother. He is a
man to be depended on
If I were the mother in this case and
perceived that my greedy, avaricoUs
daughter-in-law was so eager for a poor,
paltry, miserable thousand dollar insur-
Rnce policy-that would have to come to
her almost with her husbands blood
upon it-that she was willing to break
lid his home and make him miserable to
get it, 1 sho1ld give it up to her without
a single protest.
My sons happiness and peace would
he more to me than anything else in the
world, and 1 would cheerfully go into
an old ladies' asylum rather than wreck
his home.
Jealousy the Cause.
OF course the real animus OF this fam
lily quarrel is probably not so much the
money as it is the OutcrOpping of the
eternal jealousy between a mans wife
and his mother, and that is the most
common, as we'll as the most pathetic
tragedy in the world, because it is so
useless.
A woman knows that there is no con-
fiict between the love she bears her
mother and that she bears her husband, |
because they are not of the same kind. |
She can love each one devotedly with |
out taking one iota from the other, but |
she never realizes that her husbands |
feelings are controlled by the same nat |
ural law, and that the better he loves |
his mother the more tender he is sure to |
be to his wife.
As to trying to decide whether a mans |
first duty is to his wife or his mother, |
that depends a good deal on circum- |
stances. If a mans wife and mother |
were both struggling in the water, and |
he could save only one of them from |
drowning, I should say that he should |
save the wife, because the older woman |
had lived her life and done her work in |
the world, while the younger woman had |
her life still before her.
But II a man had only one loaf of |
bread, and both his wife and mother
were hungry, I should say that his duty
vas to feed the feeble old woman first |
because she was not able to work, while |
the young and strong woman was.
All such discussions are idle, but it is
a curious thing that a mans wife and /
mother-the two women who love him
best on earth and should be willing to
90 most for his happiness-are generally
the ones that make him wretched by
their silly jealousies of each other. And
it's poor love, whether it's a wffe's l.
love or q mothers love, that isn't willing
TO make the sacrifice OF the Joy of a
family quarrel for the sake of the I'M
fortunate Woodworking man who is try
ing to do his duty by the two women
who are nearest to him.
God help any man who has to stand
between his wife and his mother. He is
entitled to the sympathy Of the COM
munity.
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