The Washington bee., 1911-04-29
Public Men And ThinDs
(By the Sage of the Potomac.)
(By the Sage of the Potomac.)

Did you ever stop to thing that
every man whose Christian name is
! Robert is a contrary fellow? Well,
| all are. Now just recall all the men
/ you know whose first name is Rob-
! ert, starting with Robert LaFollette,
i and run down the line of Roberts.
Now Bob Pelham is about the most
/ IpesterlterOus and the most argumen-
tatVe mInk-shaded I4S pounds of hui
manlty about these diggings, and he's
: about the most resOurcefuI, too. Bob
/ is always ready for an argument, and
never agrees with you on anything.
| 1t the sun was at meridian on an
| August day in the tropics, and send
/ ing down its slantS with an intensity
that would boil water, and you should
meet Bob and say it's hot, it's an
hundred cents to pretzel that Bob
would proceed to argue that it was
| Cool-sO cool that frost was in sight
| for the night. If you should say to
| Bob that the Detroit baseball club
could not win the pennant, its a gal
| Ion of pure cream to a gill of skim
med milk that Bob would start an ar
gument which would deteriorate into
| a Marquis of Queensbury affair.
/ And when Bob gets to arguing he
always pitches his voice loud enough
to wake up all the mummihed saints
that lie buried in the catacombs. You,
| yourself, don't know a d-n thing
when Bob starts to argufy, and there's
nothing that he doesn't know save
that one sentence, 20, for the love
of Mike, be reasonable" But he's a
young man yei-nOt over sixty-and
| IS bound to learn that occasionally
other men have an opinion Bob
| Pelham is an old newspaper man,
and most of these newspaper fellows
are contentious critics and differating
| bundles of cOnceit ITS the nature
| of the beast" But | want to bore
! big enough to funnel through the in
| formation that there 'ain't" a man
on the District map whose got more
energy than this immigrant from De-
trCIt. And he's got both native and
acquired ability to spare. If you
want to get up something, and want
it to be a success, just interest Bob
Pelham. Tell him he's free to shoot
the Chutes, free to race around the
circle without bit or bride, and he'll
work his flesh off to make it a sue
cess, and if he doesn't make it a sue
cess it's just because you have hand
ed him a gold brick In Michigan
the name Pelham is one to conjure
with. It's sight draft that will be
hOnOred in any ward of the City OF
the Straits. Washington Negroes
have gained much by his locating
here without giving him anything in
return. BOb's got a peculiarly con-
structed and ladened brain. There's
a streak of pugnacity, a layer of real
ability, mOdICum of reasonableness
r a chunk of inventiveness, and a lot
of go-aheaditiveness. And that body
of his is energy driven by a lots
, bigger brain than many give hin
: credit for. Bob never posed as al
IAdonis-just couldn't-and he never
essayed to be a fashion plate jus
can't-but as a fellow of parts, anC
I4-karat parts at that, he belongs il
} the classy class. If Bob Pelham
} should drop OFT of Washington, be
r lieve me, he would leave an achiny
void, and that's the truth in big let
ters.
, If the dyspepsiated zephyrs shouI,
{ wait into your lObe1 Orifices a vOic
I that is deep-toned like a cathedra
l !, bell ringing for a funeral, or as ira
f gedic as was the voice of John Nc
| Cullough in the Gladiator, there's n
. use to turn around to see who hold
the first trust on that voice Jus
| set it down as a safe Monte Carl
| rOulet bet that it's Prof. TunnelT
, stentOrian, oratOrical nightmare of
- voice Now who is Prof Tunnel
t Well, as the boys used to say up a
!. Howard, hes Prof. Tunnel, that
! all Prof. Tunnel, or rather Dl
. Tunnel, between teaching hypo
e thetiC preaching and an erroneous sus
- piCiOn that he is an orator, led
r quiet, uneventful, though beneficia
5 life, around Howard hill for man
years. About a year ago a littl
r, siren buzzed a bit of conceit into hi
a ear which led him to believe that h
e was the one superlative genius VIII
|. could bring order out of suppose
d chaos in the public schools. To max
: a story short, he aspired and got Of
:. the school board, and at once hOOke
= up with Mr.. Horner, presumably o!
n the theory that birds of a feathe
n should flock together, and because, t
f use the Characterization of the lat
and unlamented Dr. Chancellor, the
i both had the features of white me
4 and the characteristics of Negroe:
G Since he got on the two have bee
: Inear-S -Siamese twins. OF course it wa
G a mistake for the Doctor to get int
4 this public school maelstrom. No on
: connected with Howard Universit
= ought to be connected with the pub
e lie schools, and the trustees shOul
y establish a rule to this effect Ir
:. stead Of clarifying the school water
e Dr. Tunnel has muddied them. H
= hasn't added anything to himsel
l. and he hasn't added anything to tn
h school situation but discord Th
stOrk found Prof. Tunnel on one {
a those West India islands under Brit
h ish rule, and, like ali guinea pigs an
o human possibilities that are born o
+ English islands, he is as smart a
+ they make them-heap big brain!
e But when he got on the school boar
r he became a victim Of dissipatin
a circumstances, a figure of near-impc
tency. | have started several time
/ 10 indite an embossed letter to tn
e ! Doctor advising him that II he de
5, sired to save his face and preserv