New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-08-20
Mr.. JUSTIFIED IN BAD
Tries 10 Play Poker, but the
Came Never Starts.

OF course. Hr. Justwed was entirely 70
blame. for he was thoroughly conversant
with Mrs. Justweds views on the subject
And, though they had thrashed the matter
out many times before, Nr. J. again
brought it up with supreme indifference 10
the embarrassing situation in which ne
placed her
The cause Of the unfortunate occurrence
was that old standby that has occasioned
so much strife in the realm Of marital
bliss-poker He got in bad before he got
that far in the matter But he tried, and
according 70 Mrs. J.. u served him right
that the proposed diversion was nipped in
its incipiency
Perhaps the fact that the evening was
one OF drizzly rain, with all It's attendant
unpleasantness emphasized in the country,
had something 70 do with Brown suggest
ing that little game OF draw poker
seemed 10 be In order for the men. slmp-
son and wilkins-both Of whom Mrs. j.
likewise detested-ha!led the idea with de-
light. and invited Mr. Justwed 10 sit in
Mr. J. looked across az Mrs. Justwed out
of the corner OF his eye-for they were az
In the big living room-to see how she mad
taken IL. OF course, he argued, she wouldn
hurnilate him in public by stating that she
objected to her husband playing poker!
OF course. thought Mrs. j., Epmer-dear
wouldn't humiliate her in public by calmly
accepting the invitation. despite her well
known ideas on the matter
| But Mr.. J. did.
Sure he said 'T'r be glad to take a
/ hand for while haven't played for-iet
me see-wen, nearly year. It's Just an
ideal night for H."
"Ah." sn!ckered Simpson. There's one
man who isn't afraid Of his wire mat
makes four. Can we get three more or
even one? Speak up, you Henpecks VINO
ba,a the nerve 70 throw off the yoke and
show your independence"
That Simpson meant II facetiously was
naturally. quite evident, although none
could denv that it was in bad taste. SO,
Mrs. Simpson. as wives are in habit OF DO
ing to cover up their husbands dehciencles'
took up the cudgel.
IT don't know so much about that
Larry simpson, she bantered. Speak up
all Won poor downtrodden wives who have
the seIf-sacriAce to be really interested IN
Won. husbands welfare and show these
brutes that they can't play poker when
their wives object"
Two such challenges obviously were
more than sufficient to start the ban roll
ing-in a crowd Of summer boarders, re-
n,er1her who had summered together for
season at least.
Now. scattered about the room, were
several small tables on which many
..rubrer" of whist was fought out each
evening. And one OF them bear In mind,
was destined 20 play no little part in the
subiugation OF Homer-dear's poker aspira-
tons.
VERY well. mesdames" roared Simpson
with mock ferocity "The game begins
tight now. Justwed. get that card table at
your elbow. Wilkins, you 90 after your
cards and chips Wen tame these ANA
IONS in jify.
Not II I know it," cried Mrs Simpson,
Selling the other end OF the table that Mr..
J. had reached for.
Instantly the battle was on.
The women focked around their leader
with shrieks OF delight. and the men quick
" rallied to the support Of their comrade in
distress He was in distress. too, for, as
YOU know. when a woman gets hold Of a
thing she can hold on to It!
OF course. all the men folks could do, IN
consideration Of their opponents sex, was
TO try 10 pry them loose. Somehow, each
nan singled out some other fellows wife
az the object OF his attack. And, present
~. amid exclamations OF dismay and shouts
of laughter, two Of the fair Amazons had
been compelled 10 release their hold on the
table.
Were they out OF il? Not FOR a minute.
simultaneously each made straight for her
respective husband. closed up on him from
behind, seized his halr-and pulled. And
believe US. those gladiators, touched in as
vulnerable a spot as was Achilles straight
way released their grip on the dancing
Jumping, jerking table and turned 10 repel
the attack from the rear.
The other women were quick 70 appre-
ciats the results Of the sortie, and equally
quick 10 follow suit. That is, all except
Mrs. Justwed and Mr.. Justwed. While the
battle waged about them they still chung TO
the swaying casus belu, at opposite ends.
BY this time. however, the table had been
carried in the scuffle 10 the door. And
there Mr. j. gave it yank tribe too
vicious perhaps, for parlor" stunt
Smash.
The table had crashed into the door
jamb-and one leg Of it. lying on the ioor,
gave mute but eloquent evidence Of the
force Of the pull
Instantly the dove Of peace spread his
pinions above the field OF carnage.
"Oh" cried Mrs. Justwed. you've broken
the table. Homer-dear"
Homer-dear looked down al the severed
member ana grinned-what else was there
left for him 20 do but grin?
rs II really broken" asked some one,
as some one always will in such a predica-
ment Maybe il can be fixed.'
There" exclaimed Mrs. simpson. Now
guess you men are satisfied You see
what comes Of your abomlnable poker
playing"
''Now." exclaimed Simpson. Il guess
YOU women are satisfied. II would have
been cheaper II you had let US play poker,
wouldn't IL? OF course. We won't let the
Justweds pay for IL alone-sll Of us had
share in IL. AZ that, though, / move that
the women be made TO pay the damage
since they started II all
But Homer-dear had nothing to say. He
WAS thinking Of what was coming 20 him
afterward, cARvEL CALVERT HALL.
Vlsitor-Could l speak with the parson
49,. a.. ,ocurent2