davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
AYHAWKER JOTS

An invitation to read some of the
continued stories. now running in the
dailies, should be headed, says the
Jewell County Republican,: ''Mollie.
come wade in the slush.''
1t is lucky we know nothing of the
future, suggests the Jewell County
Monitor, for if We did, how little fun
a rooster would have Growing when
he is at the butchers shop.
| Some advice from Mrs. Tom Thomp-
son: If people who eat raw apples in
the presence of others would go out
and lean on the pig pen fence. they
might hear something to their ad-
vantage.
All over Kansas this week, says the
Mankato Advocate, the smudge pot
has been smudging in brave effort to
| save the apple crop. If the effort
proves successful the smudge pot will
be declared more useful to mankind
than the jackpot.
In other words there is no shaking
dice for cigars at Esbon. The Esbon
Times reports: You can get as good a
cigar for five cents in Esbon as any
where else but you can't get it with a
gamblers chance on a second cigar.
No. not in Esbon.
One of the liverymen at Hays City
has added a hack to his equipment
and the Ellis County News comments:
IL 10 SHllIS ely ClOSEQ--d IllCG lIlIB IL
you are compelled to GO somewhere
in rain storm, or get out of town
without any one seeing you.
A social note in the Douglass Tri-
bune: The members of the Spring
Chicken club are using north Forest
street as a lovers promenade on pleas
ant evenings. The wooing, and the
cooing, and the goo-goo gooing is
somewhat laughable and interesting.
Getting killed in an automobile ac-
cident Is rather common, remarks the
Buffalo Advocate, and it continues: A
most up-to-date method is by falling
out of an airship. More newspapers
will mention it and the world will
know it sooner,-if that is any salts
faction for fools.
This is the worst stingy story the
Jewell County Monitor has heard in a
long time. A man who was building
a house tore down an old one to use
the lumber in new one. He wanted
the carpenters to straighten out the
old nails for use in the new building
and when they refused tc do it. he did
it himself. And he borrowed some
nails from a neighbor and when he
went to return them, he gave back
lot Of smaller nails, hoping, perhaps,
thereby to cheat his neighbor but any
body who knows anything about
nails knows that a pound Of small
nails costs more than pound of big
ones.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
VALUATION or RALROADS.

That the railroads in Kansas are
going to assist the state board CT rail-
road commissioners in every possible
way in fixing the valuation Of the rail-
road property in the commonwealth is
good news. 1t is indicative of the fact
that the railroads and the people, the
latter through their representatives in
public office, are of disposition to
get together in solving the perplexiag
problems incident to railroad regula-
ton.
Without the assistance of the rail-
roads in the particular of fixing VAL
uation of their property, the task
would have been one of monumental
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
Honest Pullman Porter.

On her arrival at the St. Regis Miss
NJ L. Shotter. of Savannah, discovered
that she had left three diamond rings,
said to be worth nearly $4,000, in a
Pullman car in which she had Travelled
over the Atlantic Coast Line from Sa-
vannah. She remembered having
placed them on the ledge of the win
dow near which she was sitting. She
Informed the room clerk of the st.
Regis who was on duty. and he i'm
mediately called up the railroad COM
pany.
On her return from the theater Miss
Shotter was told that the porter of the
Pullman car had found the rings and
that she would receive them at the
hotel.
r. L. Burton, a banker, staying at
the st. Regis, left his black pearl pin,
valued at more than $1,000. in his
room. He missed it when he started
down Fifth avenue, and went back
post haste to the hotel. When the
clerk telephoned up to the maid on the
floor on which is Mr.. Burton's room
and asked If she had found the pin
she replied:
"Yes, 1 found a little black stickpin.
thought it was one of them toy pins
We And in bonbons at Christmas time,
and was going to throw 1t away =
New York Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13

Visitor (who has been going for the last
half-hour)-You know, I'm not physically
| strong, but I've got good staying powers.
| Hostess (wearily)-Yes, we noticed that
| NJ. A. P.
Bulwer was writing A Strange Story.
1.-The strange thing about this story" he
said, lis that I've already sold the manu-
script for IT." Thus furnishing another
proof. as we see, that truth is stranger
than fiction.-Chicago Tribune.
Little Johnny stood gazing solemnly on
the decrepit form of old countryman-
asked well, what is it, SOM" Say"
the inquisitive youngster asked, did the
politicians kiss you when you was a
baby?"-Success Magazine.
Doctor-well, Mrs. JONES' did you test
your husbands temperature, as 1 told
you? Mrs. Jones-Yes, doctor. put the
barometer on his chest, and it went round
to very dry 1 gave him pint of
beer, and he's been to work this morning.
Mrs. Bull.
John, didn't you tell me that all saw
ings banks are run in practically the same
way?'' 81 believe 1 did. What's wrong
now?" "Oh, nothing, only II they are
all about the same, why did / have to go
to a certain one today when / wanted to
draw some money?'-Buffalo Express.
Did you see Casey yesterday" asked
Mr.. Doian. "I did," replied Mr.. Rafferty,.
ITS him that was walkin' up and down
in front of my door manooverin'." Ma
nooverin, was it?' Yes; shakin' his first
and maxim it clear he felt able to whip
somebody, but bein' careful not to mention
any names. Star.
Husband-Did the cook you hired show
up? Wife-No. Wasn't 1t fortunate? An
other one rang our bell by mistake look
ing for Mrs. Gillet next door, and I kept
her instead.-Harper's Bazar.
Stranger Cat Frozen Dog Tavern)-Queer
thing, Wild-eyed Pete shooting himself.
Suicide, wasn't IT? Barkeeper-Suicide
nuthin'. Wild-eyed Pete caught hisself
oheatin' in game OF patience, thet's all.
Puck,
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13

chievously.
And thou would'st not even see
| TINS Frauiein Herter. That was not
/ fair to her. Perhaps she might have
attracted thee, in spite of her gliding"
( why should my life be bartered for
money!" cried Rudolph. IT ran away.
II was an could do. But now must
go pack for a little time
The high-born mother! She will not
wish serving-maid for a daughter
laughed Elsa.
Her lover replied with firmness. st am
now the head of the family. She will ac-
cept the wife choose
Elsa kissed him joyfully. ''Oh. Rudolph,
tnou art the prince of lovers she muir
INJURED. And now I have a request. To-
night, to please thine Elsa, play on the
vlonn t upstairs and let me accompany
acquaintance. Question not. I have a
reason"
When evening came Rudolph played the
nome songs, but with q melancholy ca
dence: Even in the parlor below Elsa
Ielt his sadness at the thought of separa-
non till she could bear it no longer. Soon
she called him. As on that first night
She neard his quick steps on the stairs,
put now he came running to her side.
When he saw her he stopped, transfixed.
A beautiful woman in evening dress sat
pectantly toward him.
Elsa" he stammered.
Fraulein Herter, but thine Elsa, never
theless. She threw herself into his arms.
Dost thou love the girl of gold? Wilt
thou barter thyself for money, now, my
Rudolph" she asked gayly.
Her lover was dumb and she went on:
Il, too, refused to wed when there was
no love and thy father offered thee to me
as a husband. My guardians insisted. 1
could not rebel, for 1 was not of age. l,
too, ran away, intending to take care of
myself until L came into my Inheritance.
There was much searching for the lost
heiress, but I had hidden myself we'll. I
knew how to do nothing gainful but
housework, so 1 became a servingmaid
sheer happiness her laughter bubbled up
again.
Rudolph held her close. '"Thou art
truly a girl of gold-pure gold" he whis-
pered fondly.-(Copyrighted 1911, by AS
ISOLATED Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
TRUTHFUL MIKE.

We sot by the brook. my chum an I,
A-nshin fer speckled trout
While a city kid on a rock near by
Wuz watchin' US pull 'em out.
An tellin' us yarns O. city ways
We both knowed wasn't true
Inc 1uSt wuz whopper, but my days!
The second and third ones-Whew!
An en- fer the sake O. the country folk
thought I'd try my skill;
SEE 1, Don't take this fer no joke
Dye see that orchard hill?
Wall thet is whar 81 Jenkins stops;
Las year, sir, eff you please,
He raised, outside his other crops,
million pounds o. cheese"
The city kid looked skeptic like,
AS city kids can do,
= N 'en turned round an seq I, Mike,
Amt thet air statement true?"
Now Mike wuz truthfuler an me
An spoke right out an out
"Jes' how much cheese he made" Sez he,
II don't know nothin' bout;
but dew know his nine mills run,
A-sawin' night an day,
An all of 'em exceptin' one
Are run by whey, jest WHEY"
FLOYD D. RAZE.
Anamoose, North Dakota.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
Mrs. McCue's Rooster Gone.

I'm upholding this government
with five sons-three in the army and
two in the navy-and I want Justice,
demanded Mrs. Mary McCue in the
Yorkville court. Magistrate Herman
glanced up from papers he was read
ing, and seeing a fine looking Irish
woman with arms on her hips facing
his desk, smiled and said such a
patriot certainly deserves redress foI
any wrong.
"wrong?" said Mrs. McCue. Some
body stole my rooster 1 was fattenine
against the coming of my son John
who is on the cruiser Washington in
the gulf and will soon be here on shore
leave, and"
Come, now; let's begin at the be-
ginning said the magistrate.
well, in the beginning, came from
County Sligo 35 years ago. and am the
mother of seven sons, and five of them
are upholding this country, and
please stick to the case" said the
magistrate, gently.
Didn't you tell me to begin at the
beginning, and amt after telling you
my son John is in the navy and is
coming home soon and I got a letter
from him telling me how awful tired
he is of beans and hash and them
crackers whatyoucallem and how no.
body can cook chicken pie like his
dear old mother, and
"Oh, so it's about that rooster
said the magistrate.
"Ain't I telling you. If you don'i
bother, that 1 bought a fine young
rooster only a week ago and was fat
tening him on the fire escape, and. oh
he was getting fine for the pot-pie my
son John asked for, and when I went
to feed him this morning he was gone
and anybody that took my rooster
ought to bring him back, for 1 ain't
accusing anybody, but he didn't fly
away like a bird, but aii,'t accusing
anybody she added. politely
The defendant, an italian woman
living next door, and to whose window
the fire escape coop of the iamentec
rooster extends, denied she had taker
the plump fowl, and the magistrate
discharged her.
But" he said to Mrs. McCue, ell
buy another fat chicken for your sor
john
mo, you won't; I'll buy it myself
but anybody that took that chicken
Here she glared at somebody and
swept out with great dignity.-New
York Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atohison Globe.]

From the ALCnlSOn GlODe.
One trouble about a liberal policy is
its fool friends.
Do your summer fly swatting early
and avoid the rush.
To get along with men, women
should agree with them.
Don't spend your wages as If you
had won them on a bet.
1t may have occurred to you that a
good singer occasionally selects a bum
song.
Nobody. is ever content with an ex-
planation that doesn't remove the
cause.
discuss subjects you are interested in
a good deal.
An honorary title probably is all
right if you have no need or inclina-
ton to cash it.
How terribly new a new suit case
looks when you are taking it on its
first little journey.
to make boy limp if there happens to
be work in sight.
Where only one man is accused. he
doesn't often attract attention by turn
ing states evidence.
Although the law is always after the
loan sharks, it seems to take it quite
awhile to catch UP.
What has become of the old fashion,
ed man who referred to saying grace
as counting the taters?"
A college student who wishes to con-
tinue his special privileges after gradu-
alton, might become an artist.
By the time some farmers quit wor-
rying over frost. they begin to stew
about the prospects of hot winds.
1t seems to US that the average dress
reformer over1ookS a lot of useful
work In selecting an occupation.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13

LFrom the Chicago News.I

IFrom the Chicago News1
You can't destroy courage by pluck
ing it up.
A signal failure has wrecked many Il
train of thought.
There are more good women in this
world than great ones.
Every man should master the art of
concealing his ignorance.
The man who praises the baby al
ways wins the mothers smile.
People should enjoy cool receptions in
warm weather-but they don't.
1t doesn't take the average man long
to get used to making a fool of him
self.
Hypocrisy is pardonable in those whA.
appear to be cheerful when they areN
sad.
The average man would rather be a
captain of industry than an army gem
eral.
Many mans education consists OF
being loaded to the muzzle with worth-
less ammunition.
A great many pictures are overdrawn
and great many. bank accounts would
De were 1t not for the watchfuI cashier.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
About the best occasion for hearty

About the best occasion for a hearty
laugh that has yet come to the front
in connection with the consideration of
the Canadian reciprocity bill at WASH
ington happened before the senate
finance committee the other day. Mr..
Collins, the editor of a farm paper
printed in Minnesota, told the commit
tee that he presented the protest of
$4,000 farmers against the measure.
And it developed a little later the
money to pay his expenses to Wash
ington was furnished by bankers, ele-
vator men. creamery men and real
estate agents
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13

/
wise than for man to hear the song of
a fool. Ecclesiastes VII 5.
Not many. persons are to be found
in this world who so conduct them
selves in word and deed as not to give
| cause for reproof or censure. ''To be
without rebuke.'' is a rarity among
human beings. And at the same time
the number of persons who are prone
to look upon just reprimands and
proper admonit1ons from their elders
among their relatives and friends, their
employers, and even from the author
ity of the law, as being out of place
and obnoxious, is altogether too large.
Not only do they place themselves in
contemptuous attitude which mars
their regulations, but they also deny
themselves the opportunity of i'm
proving their ways and developing
characters of force and stability.
An individual, no matter what his
age may be, is never too old to learn.
No matter how wise he may be, or
rather how wise he thinks he is, there
are plenty others who are far wiser
II all things. They have generally
gained this wisdom through a wider
experience in life and their remon-
oll ab4OAS d6d TIE uAIOWdLO dClo VI
others are usually we'll made and
should be needed. No man belittles
himself. either, in giving mindfulness
to such reprovals. Rather does he
show good sense and an intelligence
that indicates he is willing to profit by
such of his mistakes as may be point
ed out.
In the wider Interpretation of the
word 'rebuke'' as found in the words
quoted above comes criticism" And
there is no greater help to strugglers
in all fields of endeavor than honest.
criticism of their failings and errors.
OF course, there is a lot of stuff scat
tered broadcast which masquerades
under the designation of criticism"
But it is far from being the real thing.
1t is nothing more than the vaporings
of the egotistical, those creatures who
have a misconception of their own i'm
portance and the powers of their
minds; who develop fancies and
theories about all things under the sun
which are at variance with the correct
ones. They toss them to their friends
and the public merely for the personal
notoriety they can get out of them. 1t
is not difficult to separate the wheat
from the chaf IN cr1tlc1Sm. InaI OF
the false variety brings nothing but
smiles and ridicule for its promulga-
tors from all persons except those who
are intellectually weak or morally per-
verted. 1t is the song of fool.
But the true and the honest criti-
cism is helpful, or it should be if it is
given in the right spirit and accepted
in the same way. The man who pays
no attention to it, who shuns it as
though it were poison, who feels his
dignity insulted if he is admonished
by his friends to change his ways and
do things differently-that man is not
going to attain much of a measure of
success in life's battles. He will find
that "going it alone" is a way where
the path is short and where the pit
falls are many. Rebukes of the wise,
criticisms justly given, are among the
bulwarks of civilized society. And
more heed should be paid to them by
everyone who has desires to amount
to anything.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Isn't the virtue that patience is,
somewhat overrated?
n y
You hear a good deal about the
common people, but none of them
think they're that way.
\ y
A full-grown cherry in a cocktail is
not necessarily a sign that early sum-
mer has arrived
X =
The wise woman waits to make
particularly heavy touch on hubby un-
till some evening after the home team
has won.
Does any one know of an authenti-
Gated case where an office boy made
believe his grandmother had died, so
he could get off and go to ball game
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
FROM OTHER PENS
FOUND IN NEW YORK ATTIC.

| FOUND IN NEW YORK ATTIC.
Hidden for more than 40 years in an
old trunk in his attic, an old homespun
American flag, which family legend
declares was carried in the war of the
revolution, was brought to light by
Joseph L. Morris Du Four, a sergeant
in the Union army during the civil
war, now living in Bound Brook, N. j.
The flag was originally the property
| of Capt. Thomas Morris, of Smyrna,
Del, and is of the pattern adopted by
resolution of the Continental Congress,
June II, 1777, decreeing that the flag
of the United States be of thirteen
stripes, alternate red and white, with
union of thirteen white stars on a
blue field. The official type of that
flag has the thirteen stars in circle.
Mr.. Du Four's relic was homemade
Rebecca Morris Bacon. daughter of
Capt Morris, gave it to the present
owner in 1859, and soon afterward
it was put away in a trunk, where it
remained forgotten until Mr.. Du Four
found it in looking over some of his
curios
To insure the preservation of the
relic Mr.. Du Four is considering pre-
senting it to the Daughters of the
American Revolution or to the Wash
ington Camp Ground Association, of
Bound Brook.
Mr.. Du Four went to the civil war
when 15 years old, enlisting in May,
1852, in the Thirty-Seventh New York
infantry, under Col. Charles Roome.
An uncle of Mr.. Du Four was Gen.
William H Du Four, som ctimes called
the nberator of Switzerland. AS head
of the military school at Thoune, he
instructed Prince Louis Napoleon in
military tactics. There is a monument
to him in Geneva, Switzerland.-New
York Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELoR
tFrom the New York Press.I

IFrom the New ork Press.J
A man will never acknowledge his
bad habits, specially when they're poll
tics.
When the devil discovers a temper
in family he hustles away and lets it
do the rest.
First bride goes off to have a good
cry by herself to express how happy
she is, and afterward how she isn't
A stout woman's clothes have to get
mighty tight for her before she can
suspect she isn't grown much thin
ner.
There seems to be heap of salts
faction to a man in being fool when
the reason for it is the way he has a
lot of money he can spend being 1t.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13

Captain Bob" Bartlett. of Arctic ex-
ploring game. is authority for the state
ment that Colonel Roosevelt will be
hunting polar bears when the next
presidential campaign is on in 1912. It
scarcely seems beIievable that this re-
port can be true
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13
NCOMPATIBILITY.

What is incompatibility, when it
comes to the marriage relation? We
often hear of it, but are not able to
give it definite form. Probably a law
suit in Chicago will help US out. There
the wife wants a divorce from her hus-
band on the ground of incompatibility.
The divergence between this pair be-
gins at the diet line. He likes tripe,
young onions, early June peas and
Limburger cheese. She doesn't. She
likes lamb shops. nut salad and ice
cream.
Therein consists the incompatibility.
The husband is so insistent that he
has, also, brought suit for divorce. 1t
has not yet been decided; but we have
an idea that when it is, the incompati-
bility will be established by the testi-
mony of the wife, that the husband s
love for tripe, onions and Limberger
cheese breaks in on the charm of her
life. 1t is incompatibility in the first
degree.
Take the case of man, reeking with
the smell of whisky and dog-leg to-
bacco-isn't that incOmpatibility of the
deepest dye. Would any self-respect-
ing court compel a woman to live with
a man guilty of that sort of incom-
patibility ?-Ohio State Journal.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13

Inasmuch as most of the George j.
Gould children are married off. and
the family will not have to bear the
brunt of many more expensive we'd
dings, it is probable that considerable
money will be available for the i'm
provement of the Missouri Pacific
lines. So the plans of Mr.. Bush, the
new president of the company to do
this cannot be charged as being of the
idle variety.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13

Whenever a little cyclone travels
through Kansas, the weekly periodi-
Gals and metropolitan newspapers
print picture after picture showing a
house or a barn overturp ed and label
ing it in some such fashion as: This
happened in Kansas" They now have
a chance to give Minnesota some of
the same sort of advertising but they
probably won't take advantage of it.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13

Now that Madero has named the
members of his cabinet to administer
the various departments of the pro-
visional government of the new repub-
lie of Mexico, who will see that they
get their pay and where will it come
from? This is highly important mat
ter for the bigger the patriots,A the
larger the pay they demand.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-05-13

If the recall of federal judges was in
order, Judge Hand, sitting in the New
York jurisdiction, would seem to have
shown his total unfitness for the job
and therefore a fit subject for such a
proceeding. He actually confessed his
ignorance the other day by asking
what was meant when the expression
Chicago White Sox" was used during
the course of a baseball libel suit.