davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27
Hooked by His Own Hot Air

on. Here's a sample of the queer stuff
It keeps me laughing some days from
morning till night to hear some of the
dope that's slOughed off here Regular lit
tie comedy shop! p, ..-t......
The manager OF a pretty big, theater
here was in my chair being fixed up. /
had towel on his face and anyone coming
In could not tell who he was. A friend of
his came in and before I noticed him he
began telling me what bum show the
manager had that week He had been
there the night before. The manager had
given him some passes and ne had taken
his wife. 'Rottenest show he ever had
on the bills he was saying Perfectly
poor! And there the manager was in the
chair. But he never said a word. Sore?
l guess. The newcomer went on, stilI not
wise: 4 hate 10 see Il again, but I've
got to touch him for few more passes
tonight have some friends coming into
town. It's the only place / know where
l can shake down some free tickets StlH
the manager kept mum. The man who
criticised the show left his hat 10 keep
his turn and said he'd be back When ne
returned the other one had gone"
Il guess he didn't go to see the show
on any more free passes from that man
ager. eh?" grinned the man who now had
clean shave and turned 10 leave the
shop.-ChiCagO News.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27
~ WALTER a. sINCLAIR

what Is rscipf6city fhey talk 50 much
sbout7" asked friend wife. rs Il a
Ascheme to have canada anhexed?"
ITS o next thing 10 IT, said the Tired
Business Man why. I'm astounded that
any intelligent woman should have to adj
init to her husband that she doesn't know
what reciprocity It. IT'S giving Canada
something we didn't want in exchange for
something we do want I'm amazed to
think you haven't been keeping posted
reading the debate in congress and the
presidents Views on the subject. I wouldn't
be at ali SURPRISED II you had passed up
that interesting reading for accounts Of
the latest parior prize fight OF the spring
modes IN divided skirts or the latest inter-
national wedding.
AT least you must have looked OF the
sazas~ns and know that IL means taking a
basketfui or a waaonfui OF farm produce
and going up to the Canadian border and
handing across your basket for another
basket held by some Canadian his basket
containing furs and-um-oh. all those well
known products for which Canada is so
Justly famed - ~
Weir isn't that pisin2 All you have to
DO is to so up TO the boundary line and
hand across your basket i've seen II in
any hhnher OF pictures. Uncle Sam, resur-
rected after many years, and Canada, wear
ing furs. exchanging baskets which APP
parsntly have the same thing in them. We
get Csnada's products for much less than
we paid here. and they get ours-weli. I'm
not Just sure aB6utthat. but I suppose the
fanucks are anxious to pay more. The
FOREIGNER pays the tax you've heard.
~ II can see that you don't follow me at
ah-and I'm not on my way to Reno, but
merely to the canadian border You see
SIS all about the tariff question We loved
that dear old tariff because It gave us the
full dinner pail. And we Just overlooked It
and forgot It a few decades But when we
found aforesaid f. D. pail was full Of air
we resumed interest in the tariff question.
There was the choice OF approaching II
boldly and taking II by the horns. with a
chance OF being hunted by same, OF going
around. coming up through a tunnel and
sprinkling q little salt on it's tail. That's
what the present idea Is all about.
About all you know Of Canada is that It's
the place where they circulate the quarters
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27

and dimes that the butcher and grocer
stick you with occasionally, and then you
can't work them off until you tip some poor
waitress who hasn't any better facilities
OF getting rid Of them than you had. That 8
Canadas principal importation - funny
money. Maybe reciprocity means that
Canadian dimes will be worth full face
value at the stores here, l dunno
"Of course. you probably think Il means
that when we want to trade a large chunk
OF an American fortune for an English
lord he has got to come into this country by
way Of Canada. But no. There is no
tariff on the importation OF titles; they
come in duty free. the prospective father
in-law attending to all the social duties.
Also, you may think that the principal
crops raised on Canadas broad acres con-
sist Of snow. Again you err. They raise
such elegant and tantalizlng names as
Saskatchewan and Athabasea, to say moth
ing Of Banff In case Of reciprocity. we viii
have to learn to pronounce them all. which
Is one Of the hardships of democratic
victory"
Il don't think I quite understand yet"
faltered Friend Wife.
Nov isn't that Just like a woman2'
exclaimed the Tired Business Man.
Copyright. 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27

water. Every now and then the swimmer
raised HIS arm and made frantic signals to
the steamer. The vessels course was al
tered and q man picked pu. He had been
in the water for five and half hours, and
was almost exhausted
OF Danish nationality and % years of
age, the rescued man could not skeak Eng
lish but on board the Nolisement there
was man who was able to interpret his
story.
The Dane stated that he was seaman
on board the Milton. At 4 o'clock that
morning he was sitting on the vessels rail
when the ship gave a sudden roll and he
was thrown overheard His disappearance
was evidently not noticed. He saw the
Milton disappear in the distance He
started swimming steadily in the hope that
he would be picked up. though his greatest
fear was Of sharks, and more than once
one Of these monsters came close to him
and was only scared away by vigorous
splashihg.
The rescued Dane is man of great
physical strength.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27
Nubs of Knowledge

The average man has 10000 hairs on his
head.
Oklahoma has the greatest Indian popu-
lation Of any OF the states.
Germany is steadily turning away from
rye flour in favor OF wheat
The United States ranks second to Russia
in the production OF barley,
Wireless telephones have been found to
work we'll In mines In Great Britain.
A motorcycle driven by a petroleum en-
CINE was invented as far back as 1885
Vermont was the only state in which
there was no boiler explosion last year
In proportion TO its population Italy has
more theaters than any other country.
Fergus county, Montana, produces most
OF the sapphire mines in the United States
So Tar as known, Africa has but one
inhabitant TO each eleven square miles Of
land
The forests OF the Alaskan coast Yield
about H.00O,O00 board feet OF lumber a year.
Parisians consume ass. 10000 pounds OF
NEAT each year. exclusive Of poultry and
game.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27

thought Batty Morris was intoxicated, too.
She said: "Oh, boiled my dear, abso-
lutely boiled. Why, he couldn't even read
the list OF course my name was down.
Did you ever see anything to equal that
dress Of Anna Stebbens7 Isn't she the
limit. anyway? Imagine anyone with that
face wearing hat like that They say
she takes some drug; but don't'repeat this;
l was asked not to-"
1 said ! thought she was simply awful
looking and I thought she was drugRed
then. Her eyes had such queer look, al
though It might have been only the make
up. Agnes said she guessed II was the
drug, however. I said I thought Helen
Dickson had the worst looking hat on ia
ever seen. Agnes said 1t was too young for
her She said she had come out fully three
years ago. She said she was getting gray
hatred because she hadn't got a husband.
and everybody knew IT, 1 said I'd heard
Archie was quite attentive 20 her.
AgIes said Goodness, no. He's Just
sorry for her Pool old hagl" The bride
came in then and she looked lovely. but
Agnes said they had to pay him an awful
lot to marry her. She said not to repeat
II. though.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27

to do this class of work she would don
trousers and do. mans work and get a
mans pay, instead OF bare living and a
few cheap clothes
There was discord at once and the wife
went before a justice. who Issued a war
rant At the hearing the husband was
placed under bonds to keep the peace. He
admitted that he had compelled his wife
to do manual labor on the ranch and about
the barn, but pleaded in extenuation that
after the marriage. the wife promised to
take up this part OF his duties II he would
kiss her every morning and again every
night. He testified that he had kept his
part Of the contract, but the wife had
failed, she having refused to accept his
kisses.
The court held that under the clrcum-
stances the kisses were valueess and that
the wife was not bound to receive them
they not being In good faith.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27

Great opening for some young inventor
who could combine a mechanical contri-
vance for hooking gowns up the back. !
was obliged to go down to the kitchen the
other DAY ask the cooks assistance, as
everybody else seemed to be out or beyond
rings and cries for help. / rang the bell in
my room, but nobody came. rang again,
deliriously.
Nothing happened. Then leaned against
the bell. Then / went out in the hall and
called over the banisters, In a ladylike
way. Cousin Anne thinks It dreadful to
raise your voice or cali to people, but as
she was out and her ears could not be Of
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27
Symphonic suffragism

Suffragette band brass. wood and
string has been formed as part OF Mrs
Belmont's votes-for-women campaign.
The ladies are coming with tootle-te-tootl
bang!
With trumpet and piccoIo. tuba ana flute
with blarlng eornet and with cymbals
And this TO Impress on the masculine brute.
m every dissonaance writ in olef
She'll play TN he's deaf, She'll play iii
he's deaf!
The belle who is playing the sliding trom-
The bud who is blowing the arOning baz-
MAY not be harmonious wholly in tone
And often may wander away from the
but each is determined. II Mr.. New York
Continues to paddock superior ears
And stuff en- with cotton OF plug EN- with
she'll play uu he hears! she'll play ul
he hears.
How ,l,onss % you think. tin the sneers Of
Wil turn INTO cheers for the suffrasist
How Ions TN the disensaged Hamlets all
Yes. Romeo; prithee, let's give them .
And Willy wan streeters. the bull and the
viii have TO succumb 10 cacophonous din.
The chorus is highly appropriate there
Wen play till We win, Wen play til
we Winer
so. sisters Of sousa and sisters Of strauss
All skilled Vtrtuosi, with never q supe
Go blow down the walls OF the enemy's
You militant Jericho Trumpeting Troupe,
My brother Oh, harken the horrible threat
infts blown IN a blast from the musical
The weapon most deadly they've found
and you bet
They'll play TN they votel They'll play
an they vctei
john oKsefe In New York Worid
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27

Tended, 1 raised my voice / can raise II a
good deal. Nothing happened, however, so
l went downstairs and found one Of the
Hibernians Cousin Anne employs playing
with a camembert cheese IN the pantry. 1
said: I've been calling and ringing and
no one came" She said; Jaw, did yez
call?"
said: Didn't anybody hear the bel2'
She said. Sure I thought IL was the base
ment bell. Did yez ring?' / said yes. but
only for the exercise. AS her hands were
sert Of camemhert cheesy I decided to me-
ander along and try something else.
went down 20 the kitchen and found Il per-
fectly empty. l listened, / would have put
my ear to the ground In moment. But
heard sounds from the billiard room which
is on the basement floor. / went in, cough
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27

Mr.. Hallens was one Of the ushers He
came and leaned over our pew and said
how well / was locking. He certainly is
the most awful flirt. Edith Gaylord came
in and walked away ap TO the front OF the
church. Heavens, tie way that girl makes
upl / couldn't get over II and neither could
Agnes She told me not to repeat 1t. as
she had been asked by several people not
to-, but It was undoubtedly true that Edith
drank. She said: why, my dear, couldn't
you see she was under the influence as she
walked up the aisle just them" said
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27

barettes for the hair have some practical
improvements. one has a little comb IN.
derneath, hidden by the design. 10 keep
those dreadful little short hairs IN place.
Another. when fastened forms the hair
into two moderate sized puffs, and one
where the tongue Is In two pieces win
catch and hold the thinnest hair Barred
lattice or parallel band designs replace
the heavy scrolls Of last year.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-27

Barney oihfield, AZ the dinner IA honor
" his victory over Jack johnson az Sleeps
head Bay, ted a number of automobile
stories
But my best story. SAID the famous
racer, rs about taxicab chauffeur. This
shap was disrharsed for reckless driving.
ind 90 became a motorman on a trolley
tne.
49, he was stumbling over his fallen
tunes ffisnd said; oh what's the
natter with your Can't you run over peo-
De iust a. much a. syer2 Yes the eS-
ihauffeur replied. but formerly 7 could
hek and chonsa. llasHmEinn star
The Bourbon news., 1911-10-27
The Republican City Ticket.

Confident they can overcome the
Democratic majority indicated by the
registration the Republicans of Paris
have put in the field full ticket flor
Council, adopted platform and have
gone to work with apparent energy to
overcome the Democrats in the CON-
ing city election.
On the face of the recent registra-
tl0n the Democrats have large ma
jority in the city and every Democrat
who participated in the primary will
line up in support of the party noni-
nees in November. Looking to this end
and giving the Republicans all that is
coming to them it can be readily seen
the candidates for Council haven't a
ghost OF show.
The city of Paris for years has pres
pered under Democratic rule, even
( though the Republican platform would
| leave the impression the city was
gradually falling in the rear. They
propose to do wonders if elected to
office and one might expect as much
should such miracle be performed.
However, there is but little chance
even though their efforts and decep-
tive platform may have effect upon
some few.
There is nothing to be gained from
Republican rule; it has been demon
strated in state affairs and such would
undoubtedly be the case if voters of
the city should choose a Republican
council to hold the balance of power.
Let every Democrat who participant
ed in the recent city election go to the
polls on election day and in compliance
with his obligation to support the
nominee. vote the straight Democratic
ticket both in the city and State elec-
tion. A vote for the Democratic tick
ct means vote for better city and
state government.
The Bourbon news., 1911-10-27
Fire,wind and lightning insur-
anCe. Thomas &c WOOdfOrd.
Three Fires in Three Hours.

Three fires in as many hours is
something of a record in this city, and
two which broke out simultaneously
yesterday morning gave the depart
ment all it could handle. Had it not
been for the close proximity of the
two blazes yesterday morning about
9 80 O'clUck heavy property loss
would probably have been the result.
The first fire occurred yesterday
morning about 6 80 o'clock at the resi-
dence of Mr.. Clark Barnett on Hous-
ton avenue. Mr.. Barnett had started
fire in the CRATE and it was discover
ed shortly afterwards the joist beneath
the fireplace was burning fiercely. He
succeeded in extinguishlng the blaze
with but little damage and without
calling out the department.
The alarm yesterday about 9 80 was
sent in by telephone and was intended
to call the department to the residence
of Mr.. Geo. w. Davis where defec-
tive flue had caught fire to the roof,
which was being rapidly consumed.
Almost at the same time an automo-
bile caught fire in the Bourbon Garage
at the corner of High and Fourth.
The blaze in the garage could be
easily seen from the engine house and
line eof hose was run out and a
stream of water was soon playing on
the fame. Just square away the
! home of Mr.. Davis was burning and to
this the department. turned its atten-
tion. Both were soon unGer control. !
| The fire at the garage was OCCASION
ed by the explosion of gasoline in the
handsome car of Mr.. Chas. Webber II
| is said there was no fire about the
machine and Mr.. VIM. Giltner was il
the act of starting the engines wher
the explosion occurred. This wa.
probably due to short circuit and {
leak in a gasoline pipe as no othel
cause can be assigned.
The lower floor of the garage was
flooded with water before the machine
could be run into the street and consid
cradle damage was sustained from
this. The engines of the machine wer,
damaged by the heat as were the
tenders the running boards and wood
work on the front of the machine.
Through the assistance of a numbe
of outsiders all of the furniture from
the home of MIR. Davis was remove,
without the least damage being don
to any of it. The fire was burning
beneath the roof, large section o
which had to be torn away TO enabl
the firemen to control the flames. Mr.
Davis carried insurance to the amour
of $500 which will in all prof abiilt
cover the loss.
The Bourbon news., 1911-10-27
Lots Sold.

Two lots, the property of the Bour
bon County Hospital League, we're
sold at public auction yesterday after
noon. The lots are located on Virginia
street in Bourbon Heights. Mr.. q. c.
Thompson was fthe purchaser. Lot
No. /, fronting on Cypress. sold for
1895 and the one adjoining 1920.
The Bourbon news., 1911-10-27
Moves to Lexington.

Mr.. Oscar Williams. who has been
living on the farm of Mr.. VIM. Clark,
near this city. moved Monday to Lex
ington with his family. Mr.. Williams
has secured stall room at the Associ-
alton track where he will put into
training several promising youngsters
The Bourbon news., 1911-10-27
Buys Crystal Parlor.

Mr.. W. A. Beheler. proprietor Of the
Paris Bottling works has purchased of
MIR. T. A. Farris the Crystal Ice
Cream parlor on Main street. Mr.. Be-
heller took possession Tuesday.
The Bourbon news., 1911-10-27
The Old Fashioned Kind.

Old fashioned Graham Flour and
meal made by the old Coulthard mill.
New lot just in. Both phones.
27 ct SAUER.
The Bourbon news., 1911-10-27
Malaga Grapes.

The finest malaga grapes you eve
saw, just received.
"a ct SAUER.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-03-12

Peugeot team. which probably will bring
three cars. according to the advice OF the
Speedway European representatives.
The other drivers who are entered In
the long event are c. 3. Baldwin in an
Interstate so" Frank Fox in a Pope
Hartford. Harry Knight in a Westcott
Louis Larsonneur in a Case. Gilbert An
derson in Stutz. Spencer Wishart in
German Mercedes. w. H. Turner IN
nm Amplex. Fred Belcher in a Knox.
Fred Ellis in Jackson, Harry .Cobe in
a jackson. and Lee Fraver or Eddie
Richenhacher in a Firestone- Columbia
Ten cars have been entered without driv-
ers-a Simplex. which probably viii be
driven by Joe Matson: a Marmon. two
Buick 100 cars; two Nationals. which
probably Will be driven by Ralph De-
Palma. Charles Merz or Howard Wilcox
two McFarlan "6'' cars: a Jackson; a
Cutting, and a Marquette Buick 100"
Drivers for all OF these will be noni-
mated before the final closing of the en-
tries, May ].
One Of the interesting features Of the
early entries was a confirmation of the
rumor that David Bruce Brown would be
seen in Fiat this year. The car which
the winner OF the 1910 Grand Prize has
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-03-12
CAR APPLIES POWER TO
FRONT AND REAR WHEELS

Three hundred horsepower cars built
abroad will be features OF the big races
at Pablo beach. near Jacksonville. Fla,
this spring. Some OF these cars have
been imported already.
The oldest and latest sensation In au-
tomohile building, however, is a racing
car with a front and rear drive. Walker
Christie Is responsible for this car and
has hired Caleb G.. Bragg. the Chicagan.
who passed Barney Old6eld at Los An
eeles last April. to drive the freak.
Christie, IL will be remembered. once
built car that had a front drive, but
it was not a startling success He says
that his new car with two engines ap-
plying power independently to the for
ward and rear wheels will 90 faster than
anything on wheels. Other auto build
ers have warned him that his car viii
be pulled apart in the middle.
At any rate the racer VIII be tried out
this month. Auto men are patiently
awaiting the news of the accident when
Christie starts and hope It will not be
fatal
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-03-12

entered for the Indianapolis Race is now
being built at the Flat factory and will
have 597 cubic inches piston displacement
within three inches OF the limit placed on
cars entered in this event. Bruce Brown
enterod the car under his own name and
announced that this race would probably
son as we'll as the first appearance he
ever made on speedway. Pitted against
the grand prize winner Is Harry Grant,
the Vanderbilt cup winner. who Will
drive the same car with which he won
both Vanderbilt races Grant says no
knows what the car will do and Is will
Ing to take n chance on Its performance
gor the third season,
The 500 mile race Ia not p stock car
event, being run under class e of the
American Automobile association contest
Jority OF the cars entered will be spe-
cal racing cars. which win be capable OF
doing lo9 miles an hour or better T..
that every car must do seventy-nve miles
an hour, II any entry falls in this 1t Is
not eligible.
After considering the Importance of
this long race, which is over the great
est distance ever planned for an anto-
mobile event and for the largest purse
association has decided 10 start the 1911
grand circuit from the speedway on It's
1000, mile tour about the United States. j,
All OF the cars which are TO be included
in the special train, which will be con-
Quoted by the grand circuit, Will be sent
10 Indianapolis 10 start after inc Nc
mortal day race. and thousands OF en-
thuslasts who are interested in the for
nation or the circuit are expected here
10 give IL a sendoff
More reservations have been made for
seats and parking spaces AZ tine brick
| track thal have ever been made before
up To within ten days OF n meet
ing Letters have been pouring IN from
all parts OF the country asking that seats
In quantities from one TO one hundred be
reserved for individuals and automobile
clubs who arc planning to tour 10 the
Indiana capital for the speed event.
From present Indications the Speedway
management believes that more than 15o.-
900 spectators Will be on the grounds dur
ing the seven-hour grind.
Many of the entrants have sent advice
that they will be at the Speedway a s early
as May ] TO start practice for the event.
and for thirty days prior TO Memorial day
1t is expected that the roar OF the big rae
Ing motors around the brick track Will
be ncessant.
In addition TO the SIS 900 purse which
is offered by the Speedway various auto
mobile accessory and supply makers will
make side offers which will bring the
purse up TO a total OF about 10000, so
that the winner OF the great event prob
ably Will be the richer by about $l1 600
or $4,000. The race will start AT 10
o clock in the morning and probably VIII
occupy about seven hours time