The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-01-07
INDOOR BASEBALL.
An absolutely true account of last weeks game.

Twas at the one afternoon,
They played a famous game,
That tried the hearts of all engaged;
Gave some most lasting fame.
A strenuous lot OF chaps were they
Well known about the town.
Each one had killed an umpire.
Or knocked a pitcher down.
On one side julius Baker pitched,
A ball most hard to hit.
While Fatty Bunce was catcher,
And the pair were mighty aft"
Harsh rustled first and Loonis between
Shortstop and third. "
Encouraged Young Man Wheelock,
Who in fielding was a bird
The other side had Nugent
Swift pitching from the rex"
While Shorty Mac, the catcher sa.d
we win or lose our 'Sox'"
ld Wilson covered first, and
Phil Russel! third for fair,
AasS Old Man wheelock skipped lad Jup, - !
In fact, was everywhere.
You wouldn't think four OF a side
Could make much of game.
II they'd work as hard in business,
They'd have cash instead of fame
And so they quarreIled and sweated.
Til they had but half to play,
With Nugent's crowd two points behind.
On that eventful day.
They came to bat determined to wipe
Those two runs out
McNair was feeling nifty
Handsome Nugent somewhat stout.
The rest were slightly shaky.
IS they gathered at the bench
RHF swore they'd smash that doggoned bill
Against the outside fence
Phil Russell was the first one
To step up to the plate
He had tasted long and earnestly.
His soul was filled with hate.
He gave that ball an awful swat,
Way out into the field.
And proudly sprinted round to third,
Then into home and keeled.
They famed and gave him water
But ha6eebly called for milk,
Which. when given in small doses,
Made him feel as fine as silk,
But he swore off then on fasting
Though he'd often said to me
That the lack Of food was bully,
Gave him chunks of energy.
Shorty Mac and Handsome Nugent,
Both got bases by fair hits,
Which made julius Caesar pitching
Wish they'd die or fall in fits
Old Man Wheelock somehow punted.
But was late in reaching first,
And when Mac stole in from third base,
JULIUS said Amt tnat the wOrSs?
Fasting Russell looked quite regal,
AS he grasped the bat in hand
Shook his fist at Bunce and Julius,
Braced himself and took his stand
But he couldn't find the spheroid,
Though twas large az cantaloupe
And he looked like Weary Willie.
Full of prunes, but short on hope.
"Now wen fix. 'en1," shouted Julius.
spit 'er out" yelled Fatty Bunce
And so julius hunched his backbone.
Thinking he need pitch but once.
But Shorty hit 1t fairly,
With his usual strenuous clout.
Was safe on first by just two inches
Harrison, umpire, yelled You're out"
Then the fun. began in earnest
Harrison hit by Macs left hand
Promptly fell with Mac on top him,
Yelling loud to beat the band
julius quickly came to rescue,
Harsh rushed in to join the fray
Wheelock, Bunce and Smmy LOOMS
Each jumped in to save the day.
Twas sight to make all Sportvlle.
Wild with joy and gladstone mrth,
AS Ed Wilson Joined the scrimmage,
Just to show he was on earth
Legs and arms and heads were mingled,
Like the meats In Prizes hash,
And the noise brought Wolf and Whitcomb,
Thinking all had gone to smash
As is usual in all battles
There's one hero bound to shIna
And twas Fasting Regal Russell,
Who came quickly into line,
VIII one hand he threw out Julius
Has h and Rnnce got the same
IDoonis, Mac and Wilson struggled
But he promptly made them tans
Tor he slung them in three corners,
Put the Wheeoeks on the bum
Said unto the rescued umpire,
Guess you'd better hurry hum
Put some beefsteak on that eye there
Wash the blood from off your ph!z
Cali the doctor for these others
For they're surely out OF G!z'
There's bunch OF noble players
We will never hear OF more
Till they meet the Keeper Gabriel
Watching on the other shore,
And when each one tries TO pass him
After showing up his name
'Gao viii say: Your place is lows4
Where they play red net game.
-! svAgTHEnE