The Washington herald., 1911-03-19

There has been much talk lately re-
garding the young American man. He Is
accused of being III bred and compared
to his discredit with foreigners of the
same age and station One reason indeed,
for the increase of international mar
riages is said to be the undesirability of
our young gentlemen. IT is not charged
that they are unmanly; that they lack
courage. determination, enterprise, or
that they hold unchivalrous ideas re-
Eardng women. What is charged is
that they are wanting in the social grace
that make them acceptable as lovers
and husbandS-graces that are inculcated
in foreign lads from the cradle up.
Being a patriotic person, I would like
to deny this in toto. l would like 10 be
able to truthfully say that our men are
not only the finest mentally and morally
of any other men in the world. but that
they excel in the social virtues This,
alas is impossible, as almost any Wash
ington hostess, If she dareS speak the
truth, will attest Only the other day a
noted hostess here at the Capital said:
Mr.. Arbiter. why don't you write some
thing about the rudeneSs of our young
men? Why don't you remind them that
they neglect their social duties; that they
are often bOorish: that they lack appre-
citation OF hospitality? l speak bitterly
because I have had some experience. l
invite young men to dine. TO dances, to
theater parties. They accept these invi-
tations. come to my house. have, fancy,
an enjoyable time. and then go on and
forget all about me until I invite them
again. OF course. the remedy for such
treatment, as far as l myself am con-
cerned, is in my own hands. l need not
invite them. But what would you do? l
delight in entertaining; l must have have
some one at my parties, and so l go on
inviting these uncOuth, unappreciative
young gentlemen because there are no
other men available
And this from one of the most loyal
Americans ! know. so there must be
some fire back OF all this smoke. since
this woman is not the only person who
nurses a grievance against the gilded
youths OF the day. An indulgent mother
once excused her sons reuIiSSncSS in
some social matter by saving, Poor
Tom, I know he neGleCtS things but he
does not have time to be polite" This
from poor Toms mother gave the real
reason for Toms delinquencies. He had
never been taught politcness. The lack
of breeding in all men can be traced back
TO their mothers and sisters. If a child
is taught from infancy a certain line OF
conduct, he will follow that line to the
end, without a thought of whether it
takes time or not. Men are what women
make them. 4 man child learns his first
lessons in his mothers arms. and if a
mother is refined. cultured, with a knowl-
edge of the world and its customs. her
son will he chivalrous. deferentaL appre-
Ciative.
1t is not enough that man observes
the mcrc form Of social convention,
though even this is better than nothing,
but he must feel, if he is a real gentle
man and not tawdry imitation. the
pOlitcncSs his manner expresses. I have
seen old fishermen on the New England
coast who had never seen the inside of
a drawing-roOm in their lives. as polite
as d Chesterfield. and a hcrder of cattle
on the Western prairies as ChiValrOuS as
an AdmiTa hlC CriChtOn. The famous ChCS-
terneld said that man who does not
solidIy establish, and really deserve a
character for truth. probity, good man
nCrS. and good morals at his first setting
out IN tn" world may impose and shine
like 4 meteor for very short time but
will soon vanish and h. extinEuished with
contempt. So. if a man would have fine
manners. he must have a i'm" character,
for no matter how thick a veneer of
manner and ceremony he may put on, it
will at some time or other chip and
crack and show the hasonCss underneath.
Exquisite manners are sometimes as
sumed by those who place a great value
on the opinion Of the world, or for show
and pomp. or ambition to OutShine those
about them These may deceive for a
,imc Jackdaws do strut in peacock :
feathers and bcwilder the barnyard
occasionally but the peacock feathers
drop off finally and a man is not able
10 deceive people forever as to the source
Of his conduct SoIf-rcspect is the basis
for all fine conduct. Some one has aptly
compared this fine quality TO a tree, the