The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1911-06-09

9th day OF June, 1911, one long 10
be remembered as one of the bright
spots of your happy lives: The vari-
Gus committees have left nothing un-
done to accomplish this end. In
proof of which. let facts be submit
ted to you briefly.
1--WE welcome the old soldiers, old
settlers, and all other gentlemen who
have reached the prime of life, and
trust you will make use of this op-
portunity to engage in your favorite
pastime. Talk politics, argue tariff
reform, discuss reciprocity with Can
ada, and the probable effect it will
have upon the life destroying capac-
ity of the automobile, or upon the
milk giving qualities of the old brin-
die COW; declare war with Japan,
conclude peace with Mexico, con-
tract alliances with the various ma
tons of the earth, and do all other
acts and things which gentlemen of
your mature years and rare good
judgment, may of right do.
Welcome the Ladies.
1--WE extend a hearty welcome to
those ladies who have reached a
point in life when they cease to
grow older in years and concede to
you all the privileges, peculiar to
those of your sex. To discuss the
latest in fashions, criticise Mrs. So
and Sos new hobble skirt or Mrs.
Such-a-One's blue bingham apron;
being careful, however, that these la
dies are not present Compare if
you wish your success with your
latest hatch of incubator eggs, just
how many chicks there are whose
toes turn in and how many there are
of those whose toes turn out. Elk
press opinions as to how to solve
the hired girl question or the best
method of bringing up a husband,
so as to accomplish the desired re-
suits. This last to those of you
who have been so extremely unfor-
tunate as to own one.
ITO those ladies who are, perhaps,
old enough, but who have thus far
been unable to number among their
earthly possessions, husband, but
who wish they did, it has been Or
dered and decreed that the rules be,
and that they are so far suspended
as to enable you to enjoy the same
privileges and opportunities, to be
granted to younger ladies during the
year 1912, and for your benefit and
information l might state that the
Irene Pratt, James Morris, Tom Lee
roy and myself as we'll as that of
our esteemed master of ceremonies,
Mr.. Hall, is Mapleton, Mimi, r. F.
ID. 4, to which all correspondence up
on this, to you, most vital question
should be forwarded A more COM
plete list of these antiquated eligi-
bles will be furnished upon appli-
cation to our worthy grand secre-
tary, Brother Jim Taylor, Mapleton,
Mimi.
To the BashfuI Man.
"You man, are you bashful and
undecided how to proceed in the
solution of the all important ques-
ton uppermost in your mind? Lis
ten to the advice of our special COM
mittee. Cautiously approach that
beautiful young lady of your choice,
take her gently by the arm, mean
der up one of these lovely wind
ing paths, to spot apparently Sc
cure from the acute hearing of some
would-be opponent, and into her most
sensitive ear whisper those alluring
words which thou hast been rehears-
ing low these many days, and in
the meantime, young lady, listen at
tentively to what the young man
may say. Bow your head, allow the
color to mount to your beautiful
cheeks if you can, and when he
shall have reached the climax of
his pleadings slowly raise your ewes