davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
Census Inaccuracies.

What relation does a woman's age,
as 1t is disclosed by the census paper,
bear to the number of years she has
actually spent in this vale of tears?
1t varies, probably, according to the
fancy of the fair recorder. In the re-
cent Australian census the common
wealth statistician became so distract
ed by the extent Of the variation that.
acting in a manner which can only be
described as brutal, he caused intima-
tons to be inserted n the press re-
minding the public that birth regis
ters exist, and could be referred to,
even suggesting that he has actually
had them referred to in a large num-
Der of cases, with Illuminating re-
suits. The consequence of this was q
mild form of panic, there being a so
pound (s250) fine 'or inaccuracy, and
there has been quite a shoal of COM
munications from feminine CORE
spondents, artlessly wondering wheth-
err they made slip of the pen, and
begging, If so, to correct
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
To Marry and Keep His Work.

Making good his promise to break
bachelorhood before reaching the age
of 40 years, and marry a girl half his
age, Constable William G. Yearsley
of Magistrate Hagerty's Office will in
a few days wed Miss Lillian M. Ken
dell of Clifton Heights, Pa.
The bride-to-be is IS years old.
Yearsley is 38. They were introduced
by Mrs. William Davis. sister of the
constable, who played the role Of
matchmaker. She always counseled
her brother to get married and have
a home of his own.
'Tll get married before I'm 49," de-
clared Yearsley year ago, at which
time he had not met his fiancee. And
I'll surprise you by getting wife half
as old as l am"
Eight months ago the couple were
introduced. 1t was mutual love at
first sight Yearsley won her consent
to marriage several weeks ago. They
will be married at the sisters home,
where they met, 155 North Fifty-sev-
enth street.
Miss Kendell is a graduate of the
Newark, N. j.. high school, and an &C
complished musician. - Philadelphia
Times.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
HE HANOICAPS HIS CHILDREN
ern Financier May Prove to Be
UnWise Father.

A man out west, described as the
pioneer financier" of his city, has
just kept an agreement or promise
made fifteen years ago with himself
as the party of the second part and
presumably non-enforceable from lack
Of valuable consideration, that he
would retire from business when he
had a million dollars to give to each
of his children. He had three of them
when this announcement was made,
and even that number rendered the
self-assumed task one that for most
people would have made the day of
retirement and dignified leisure to be
sufficiently remote. The three chill
dren have since increased to six. but
the requisite half-dozen millions are
said to be now in hand, with modest
surplus for the pioneer financier's own
support in his work-declining years,
though they be as many as he doubt
less hopes and expects them to be.
This man will of course be praised
for showing more moderation than a
good many other millionaires and
stopping acquisition when he had
what he wanted instead of when he
had all he could get. On the other
hand. it can safely be assumed that in
moments of franker self-communtngs
he sincerely admires himself az a man
who has done well,' as the saying is.
for his offspring.
But has he? Unquestionably the
New York Times remarks, he has act
in academic discussion they may say
about the ennobling and developing
effects Of hardship and poverty-that
is, he has taken measures to safe
guard his own children from both and
has given them that long start in
life" which he himself did not have.
But they will go through none OF the
experiences to which, whether rightly
or wrongly, he no doubt ascribes what
he no doubt holds to be his own sue
cess. Theirs will be quite different
experiences and of the kind which all
the wise ones, in talk and writing, pro-
claim to be-theoretically-
alarming.
SO one can express with a fair
semblance of sincerity great wonder
how this man can consider himself a
good father-how he justifies himself
Ia handicapping each of those six chill
dren with the heavy burden of a mil
lion-how he can expect in the many
houred days before him to soothe his
uneasy conscience.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
HARDTACK OR PRUEES?
DOUBT ABOUT THE BEST FOOD
FOR NATIONS SOLDIERS.
Varied Dietaries of ConGuering Legions
Of the Past Japanese Armies
Fight on Rice, Raw Fish and
Vegetables.

On what shall the warrior feed that
ne may gain that iron in the blood and
steel in the muscles that carries on ar
mics to victory? We had pinned our
faith to bareback and black coffee. But
now bareback has been put under the
ban, and the recent Illinois military
maneuvers marked the ascendency of
bareback save the nation in '61-65?
Could an army fed on prunes have
done it? And what, indeed, will be
the army without that staff of life
that has survived even the pricking of
army poets pen points? AS well Ham
let without the melancholy Dancer
the ghost, or the skull of poor Yorick.
Though it was reviled, still was it
loved by those who by dint of long ne
cessity or perseverance acquired the
habit; for surely bareback is as much
an acquired taste as the olive, cigar
cite or high-ball. We must admit that
we are apprehensive about the prune;
and still cling stoically to the opinion
that more bareback and less bully beef
would have enabled us to come out of
the war with Spain with a record 0
fewer soldiers killed by rations served
than by Spanish bullets.
There seems, as we survey the
ground, to be no hard and fast diet
etary for conquering legions. The
Spartans, according to Lycurgus,
trained on game and wine; but was it
not game and wine, and a few other
things, that undid Hannibals conquer
ing legions in that fateful winter in
Capua? There can be no doubt that
the grand Old Guard fattened and kept
up its fighting heat on vim ordinare,
and rather frugal fare Still the Rus
SLAMS who met the rice-fed Japanese
had almost the same fare-when they
could get it. Evidently national tenn
permanent and early training must be
considered. Washington's army fought
rather badly and won very slowly on
very little food. And then came in the
long reign of the bareback
The Japanese are the greatest fight
ing people of the east. Their armies
fight on rice, raw fish and vegetables;
and this, we'll warmed up with cur
ries, is the diet of the other great
fighting people of the east-the great
Sikh brotherhood, the military Spar
tans of the modern world. Slowly, but
surely, it seems that the fighting world
is falling into two parasitic meat and
the rice armies, and the wine that the
Spartans and the French drank, is be-
ing eliminated. But the substitution
of the untried prune for bareback
seems to be rash step that skaters
all calculations on the strength of our
striking arm.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
Doc in the Potatoes.


John Di Silvestro, editor Of La Voce
del Popolo, an Italian daily newspaper
of Chicago, tells of an old potato sell
er in the colony here who used a
small dog to great advantage.
This old man retailed potatoes, %
said Di SilvestrO. HE went from
house to house with his dog on his
shoulders. and if person wanted any
thing from peck to bushel he could
be accommodated.
"One of my friends who had been
buying regularly from the old potato
vender was surprised one day when
his wife told him that they were being
cheated.
"'Old Giuseppe wouldn't cheat he
said.
when the old man delivered his
next bushel of potatoes the wife called
her husband and together they went
into the kitchen and measured the po-
tatoes. The shortage was peck.
After that they watched old Giu-
seppe, and, much to their surprise,
found that every time he came to de-
liver the potatoes he walked out of
the alley, accompanied by a small dog.
This small dog, however, never
came in with him.
"The man and wife became curious
about this dog, and hid in the kitchen.
One day they watched old Giuseppe
empty his bag on the floor. AS he did
so the little dog jumped out.
''The animal had taken up the space
of a peck of potatoes and was better
than a false measure"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
Circumstantia, Evidence,

A Scotchman and his wife were WIS.,
iting in wild, beautiful part of the
country. While driving one day with
their host, the two men sitting to-
gether in the front seat while the lady
sat behind, they crossed a high bridge
which spanned a roaring torrent. An
unusually loud splash caught the gen.
tlemen's attention for moment, but
nothing was said. After several miles
the gentleman turned to address a
remark to his wife, but her seat was
empty.
Aye" he remarked to his host,
that will be yon splash we heard. -
Housekeeper. a.s
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
First Woman for Hiuh Honor.

Mile. Lucienne Heuvelmans, the
first woman in the history OF the
Academy of the Beaux Arts. Paris, to
win the Grand Prix de Rome for sculp-
ture, was born in Paris on Christmas
day, 1880. Her sculpture is Electra
Guarding the Sleeping Orestes." Two
years ago she won the second grand
prix. Her father is engaged in artIs-
tic cabinet work. She took up sculp-
ture seriously when she was IS. For
some years she has been teaching
drawing and modelling at the COM
munal schools. By reason of her
award she VIII be the first woman at
the villa Medicis since the French
school In Rome was established, over
300 years ago.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

beyond recovery. l had lost over 20
pounds and was but a shadow of my
former self. used one box of Doan's
Kidney Pills and soon felt better. Con-
tinuing, was cured and have not had
the slightest trouble since"
when Your Back is Lame, Remem-
Der the Name-DOAN'S."
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price SOC,
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
Powerful Stuff.

Have you any hair tonic?" asked
the stranger in the BARRIERS chair.
YES, sir" was the reply of the mod
est tonsorial artist, but l hope, sir,
you will not ask me to apply it on
your head. If / did give you an appli-
cation you would accuse me of ex-
tortion. for / should be forced to give
YOU at least three hair-cuts, and
charge you for same. before you
would be presentable enough to leave
the shop, sir"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
a Reader Cures His
Constipation Try Il Free
Simple Way for Any Family All

The editors of Health Hints and
Questions and Answers" have one ques-
ton that is put to them more often than
any other, and which, strangely enough,
they find the most difficult to answer.
That is How can l cure my constipa-
tion?''
Dr. Caldwell, an eminent specialist in
diseases of the stomach, liver and bowels
has looked the whole field over, has prac-
tised the speciality for forty years and is
convinced that the ingredients contained
in what is called DIR. Caldwells Syrup
Pepsin, has the best claim to attention
from constipated people.
Its success in the cure of stubborn con-
stipation has done much to displace the
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

use OF salts, waters. strong cathartics
and such things. Syrup Pepsin, by train
ing the stomach and bowel muscles to
again do their work naturally, and with
nerves, brings about a lasting cure.
Among its strongest supporters are Mr..
John Graveline of 9S Milwaukee Ave.
h0ma CITY and thousands of others. IL
can be obtained of any druggist at fifty
cents and one dollar a bottle, or il you
want to try it first free sample bottle
can be obtained by writing the doctor
For the free sample address DR.. w. b.
Caldwell, 2O1 Caldwell building, Month
cello, Ill.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
Two of a Kind.

ct find that my husband has been
having the office boy call me up every
day and humble terms of endearment.
That's a nice way to fool his wife.
He's been going to the ball game"
How is it that you didn't catch on
to the voice?"
well, I'm busy at bridge every day,
and I've been having the cook answer
the telephone"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
The CRUSHING Proof,

"Here, Willie, you come right away
from that bad boy!"
HE amt bad boy, mamma. He's
a nice boy. He gave me half his
orange an big bite of his candy"
Mercy, the child is a Socialist!
Come away from him this instant!"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
My Kidneys Are
killing Me!
Martyrs to Kidney and Bladder Trou'
BILE Try This Remarkable New
Treatment, Free.

Here is q treatment for kidney and
bladder diseases and rheumatism that
is absolutely guaranteed, that is safe
and positive and that you can test
yourself without investing one penny:
1t is a new, scientific, safe, powerful
cleanser of the kidneys. The new
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

ney secretionS were
in terrible condition.
If left standing they
thickened like glu-
cose and had to be
removed with a
knife. My own doc
tor gave me up. l
then called in a spe-
cialist who said l was
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
\ Gods
rsapariila

VIII purify your blood, clear
your complexion, restore your
appetite, relieve your tired feel
ing, build you up. 1t leads all
other medicines in merit.
Get it today in usual liquid form O.
chocolated tablets called Sarsatabs.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
His Blasted Life.

"You refused me ten years ago"
81 remember" said the heiress.
you said it would wreck your life."
at did. / have had to work for a
living ever since"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
Not KNOCKING Slattery.

Mrs. Coogan-An' the little thing Is
The diviIs own image of his father.
Mrs. Slattery-Yis, but don't moind
that so long as he kapes hilthy.-
Puck.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

treatment, Dr. Derby's Kidney Pills,
will save your kidneys, upon which your
very life depends.
If you have crucifying or dull pains
in the back, Bright's disease, diabetes,
bladder. profuse or scanty urination, or
discolored, foul urine, do not let the
day go by without getting a package
of DR.. Derbys Kidney Pills and see a
tremendous difference in yourself in "a
hours If you want. to try them first,
tell any druggist to give you a free sam
pie package.
DIR. Derby's Kidney Pills-25 and so
cents at drug stores or we will supply
you if your druggist hasn't them. ADJ
dress Derby Medicine Co., Eaton Rapids.
Mich.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

Coles Carbolisalve quickly relieves and
cures burning, itching and torturing skin
diseases. 1t instantly stops the pain of
burns. Cures without scars. Csc and 50c
by druggists. For free sample write to
J. w. Cole & Co. Black River Falls, Wis.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

Why is it that so many people suffer
with Lame Back? Hamlins Wizard Oil
will cure it and for Aches, Sprains,
Bruises. Cuts. Burns. etc, there is Moth
ing better.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
LOST 20 POUNDS.
In Bed Seven Weeks With Terrible
Kidney Trouble.

A. Dearth, Main ST., Camden, o.,
Says: 81 was in bed seven weeks with
kidney trouble and grew worse in
spite Of all the doctor could do. Kid
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

Be sure your sorrow is not giving
you its best, unless it makes you
more thoughtful person than you have
ever been before.-Phillips Brooks.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

A man never gets too old to remem-
Der some of the things that never &C.
CURED when he wa2 a boy.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

I should say sincerity, a deep, great
genuine sincerity. is the first charac-
teristie of all men in any way heroic.
Carlyle
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
Ir,nortant TO Mothers

1t is still about as easy to find a
man who will sell his birthright for
a mess of pottage as it was in the
time of Esau.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

n the average man has occasion to
generate a good. hearty laugh once 6
month, he Is playing In great luck
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13
HOPELESS.
reelection

First Motorist-I have driven a car
for two years and I've never yet run
down anybody.
Second Motorist (disgustedly)-Why
don't you quit trying and hire chauf-
feur?-Puck.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

lrrs. wtnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infamma-
ton, auays pain, cures wind collie, 25c a bottle
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

Let me fail in trying to do some
thing rather than sit still and do moth
ing.-Cyrus Hamlin.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1911-10-13

Charity organizations uncover
multitude of sinners.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1911-12-12

LEADING SPECULATIVE ISSUES
ALL ADVANCED WITH UNION
PACIFIC LEADING THE ACTIVE
STOCKS.

New York, Dec. 11.-Au the Lead
ing speculative issues advanced at
the opening of the stock market to-
day. Changes for the mos part were
small, the widest movements among
the more active stocks being UG1On
Pacific's rise Of SIS Denver and Rio
Grande preferred rose a point Great
Northern Ore certificates were sold
heavily and fell points to S11a, the
lowest figure at which this issue was
ever quoted.
The Improvement in prices arising
from the unexpectedly favorable bank
statement and the large liner case in
United States Steel tonnage figures
was of brief duration. Realizing and
some short selling forced back the
list to last weeks closing or below.
However. Louisville e. Nashville
and Western Maryland gained I.
The market advanced briskly again
to its best figures on largely increased
dealings.
Quite of budget of bullest news
came to hand in the afternoon. High
er prices for copper, refusal of the
supreme court to interfere with the
American Tobacco reorganization
plan and the tenor of the report OF
the Hadley commission were inGuen-
cling factors. Virtually every stock OF
Importance was up from one to three
points.
Bonds We're irregular.
Heavy buying Of United States Steel
e-oa+~d Inc announcement that a sub
sidiary had raised The price Of steel
and wire products dollar a ton
The whole market became animated
and strong with striking advances in
the grangers and Pacifcs. Among the
principal advances were Union Paci-
fic points, st. Paul "a, Reading and
United States steel 2 and Southern
Pacific ~.
Call money rates were down to 215
per cent. in the late dealings. Stocks
were less active and slightly below
the best. The market closed very
strong.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1911-12-12
ANSWERS THE CALL.
Brunswick People Have Found That
This is True.

A cold, strain, a sudden wrench,
A little cause may hurt the kidneys.
Spells of backache often follow,
Or some irregularity Of the urine.
splendid remedy for such attacks,
medicine that has cured thou
sands
Is Doan's Kidney Pills, true kid
ney remedy.
Many Brunswick people>rely on it.
Here is Brunswick proof:
Mrs. NJ. Gam, 405 G street, Bruins
wick, Ca, says: "Doan's Kidney Pills
proved of great benefit to my son and
| consider them the best kidney rem
edy on the market. After his salts
factory experience with this remedy
I gave statement for publication in
its praise and now confirm all | then
said"
The statement referred to was given
April go 1908, and was in substance
as follows: my son was afflicted with
weak kidneys and was caused a great
deal of annoyance He complained of
backache and pains in his kidneys and
felt miserable in every way. had
heard SO much about Doans Kidney
Pills being good for these troubles
that I procured a box at the Atlanta
Drug Co. and had him use them. They
helped him at once and before long
the bachache and pains became a
thing Of the past, He is now in good
health and his kidneys are normal"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name oan's-and
take no other.-3.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1911-12-12
The Quickest Cough Cure
T Cheap, But JneQuaIed
A Whole Pint Of 1t for SOC. Saves You
So. Does the Work Quickly or
lif,y Money Refunded.

For quick and positive results, the pint
OF cough syrup that you make with 80
cent bottle of Pnex cannot be equaled.
1t takes hold instantly and will usually
stop the most obstinate decp-seated cough
inside of "a hours Even Group and
whooping cough yield to it quickly.
The user of Pnex mixes it with home
made sugar syrup. This gives you full
pint--a family supply-of better cough
remedy than you could buy ready mixed
tor $50. Easily prepared in > minutes
full directions in package.
PineX soothes and heals the inAamed
membranes with remarkable rapidity. 1t
stimulates the appetite, is slightly laxa-
tive, and tastes good--children like it.
Excellent for hOdrseness, asthma brOn-
chitis, and other throat troubles, and has
a wonderful record in cases Of iucipient
lung trouble.
Pinex is a special and highly concen-
tratcd compound of Norway White Pine
extract, rich in guaiacp and other natu-
raj healing pine elements Simply mix
with sugar syrup or strained honey, in a
pint bottle, and it is ready for use. Used
in more homes in the u. S. and Canada
than any other cough remedy.
PineX has often been initiated, but
never successfully, for nothing else will
produce the same results. The genuine is
guaranteed to give absolute satisfaction
or money refunded. Certificate Of guar
antee is wrapped in each package. Your
druggist has Pinex or will gladly get it
for you. If not, send to The Pinex Co.,
TT. Wayne, Ind.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1911-12-12
Saved His Wife,s Life

"My wife would have been in her
grave today writes 0. Fl. Brown, OF
Muscadine, Ala, "if it had not been
for DR.. Kings New Discovery. She
was down in her bed, not able to get
up without help. She had sever
bronchial trouble and dreadful
cought. got her bottle of DIR.
Kings New Discovery, and she soon
began to mend and was well in a short
time" Infallible for coughs and colds,
it's the most reliable remedy on earth
for desperate lung trouble, hemorrha-
ges, lagrippe, asthma, hay fever, Group
and whoDping cough. SOC, 800. Trial
bottle free. Guaranteed by Roses
Drug Store. ~
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1911-12-12
Lightning Kills Few.

In 1906 lightning killed only 100 peo-
pie in this whole country. Ones
chances Of death by lightning are less
than two in million. The chance
Of death from liver, kidney, or ston-
ach trouble is vastly greater, but not
If Electric Bitters be used, as Rob-
ert Madsen Of West Burlington, Ia
proved. Four doctors gave him up az
ter eight months of suffering from vi
rulent liver trouble and yellow iaun-i
dice. He was then completely cured
by Electric Bitters. They've the best
stomach, liver, nerve and kidney rem
edy and blood purifier on earth. Only
SOC at Roses drug store.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1911-12-12

The quicker 3 cold is gotten rid OF
the less danger from pneumonia and
other serious diseases. Mr.. B. W. L.
Hall Of Waveryl, Va, says: II firmly
believe Chamberialn's Cough Remedy
to be absolutely the best preparation
on the market for oclds. I have rec
commended it to my friends and they
all agree with me-" For sale by all
dealers.