davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Foresta.ied.

District Attorney ]. +. Clarke of
New York was talking about the re-
cent kidnapping cases.
"Kidnapers," he said, are apt to
disappear now. They have become
too unpopular. Why, kdnaper is as
unpopular as a widower.
Widows, now, are Very attractive,
but about widower there is always
something uncanny, something almost
clammy-I mean, of course, from the
matrimonial point of view.
81 know a widower who is thinking
of marrying again. He thought he'd
breach the matter delicately the other
morning to his little daughter. so he
said:
"'Ah, my dear, how did love your
mother!'
But the little girl gave him a sus
picious look and snapped:
Say do" not did, papa"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Preventing a DISTURBANCES.

Colonel Scotchem was weary. He
had had very arduous day retreating
from the enemy, and he wished to re-
coup his strength in order that he
might retreat still further on the NOR
row.
Macpherson" he said to his new
servant, Pm going to snatch forty
winks' sleep. Stay in my tent and
see that I'm not disturbed"
Mac saiuted. Five minutes later the
SHORES of Colonel Scotchem were cut
short by the loud report of gun.
Great Scott!'' cried the colonel
Are the enemy upon us?"
Ma, dinna fret" replied Mac, in.
sorting his head reassuringly through
the tent flap, "it was only a wee
mousie. But as l thought he might
wake you up shot him. Answers.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Copyright 1902. BY the Bobbs-MsrrIn Co.
SYNOPSIS.

James Wilson or Jimmy as he is called
by his friends. Jimmy was rotund and
looked shorter than he really was His
ambition in life was to be taken seriously.
but people steadily refused to do So his
art is considered a huge joke, except to
himself il he asked people to dinner ev-
eryone expected a frolic. Jimmy marries
Rella Knowles; they live together year
and are divorced. Jimmy's friends ar
range TO celebrate the first anniversary
Of his divorce. The party IS in full SWING
when Jimmy receives a telegram from his
aunt Selma. who win arrive in -four hours
to visit him and his wife. lie neglects to
tell her Of his diTorce. Jimmy takes Kit
into his confidence. he tries to devise
some way so the his aunt will not learn
that be has no longer wife He sug-
gestS that Kit play the hostess for one
night be Mrs Wilson pro tenn. Aunt Sc
lima arrives and the deception works out
rs planned, lins Jap servant is taken
III. Bella, Jimnv's divorced wife. enters
the house and asks Kit who Is being ta-
ken away in the ambulance? Bella insists
II IS Jim Kit tells her Jim IS we'll and is
I'm tile house HARRISON steps out on the
porch and discON ers a man lacking
card on the door. He demands an OK
PLANTATION. The wan points to the picard
printed on it. Ife tells him the guests
cannot leave the house until the Quaran-
tine is lifted. The guests suddenly real-
lie their predlcament the women. shed
tears. the men consider 1t good Joke.
The all important question arises as to
who Is to prepare the meals and perform
the other %pSehpid duties. HARRISON mn
ally solves the matter. After the lifting
Of the quarantine several letters are found
IN the mail boz tindelivered. one IS adj
dressed to Henry Llewellyn. TduiGue
Chile. which was written bv HARRISON
He describes nhrutely Of their inc9rcNre-
ton. also of his Polarization for Mrs. WI
son. Aunt Selma Is taken Ill with la
grippe Betty acts as nurse HARRISON
finds Kit sulkinC on the roof. SHE tells
him that Jim has been treating her out
ragenuslv. HARRISON fully believing that
she Is Mrs Wilson. tells her that she
doesn't mean the things she is saying
about her husband Kit starts down
stairs. when suddenly she is grasped in
the arms Of nan who kisses har sew
eral times. She believes that Harrison
cid It and is haniliated. Aunt Selma tells
Jimmy that her cameo breastpin and
cher articles OF iewelrv have been atolev'.
She accuses Betty of the theft The fol-
lowing morning Jimmy was in rage.
The papers printed story about the in
generation of the party. and that one OF
| the guests had attempted to escape by
means Of LAYING board across the roof
TO the adjoining house. but was frus-
tIated by a detective who fired a revolver
AZ him. Jimmy tells Aunt Selma all
about the strange happenings, but she
persists IN suspe ting Betty OF the theft
IT her valuabies
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
CHAPTER XIII. tcontinued.)

Put what the cook had told about
Bella and Jimmy was not divulged,
for the HARRISON man caught him up
with jerk and sent Flanagan, grum-
bling, with his rugs to the roof
1t did not seem possible to carry on
the deception much longer. but if
things were bad now. what would they
be when Aunt Selma learned she had
been lied to, made ridiculous, general
able to live In the house with her
when she did know? Luckily, every
one was so puzzled over the mystery
I'm the house that numbers of little
things shat would have been absolute
~ damaing were never noticed at all
For instance, my asking Jimmy at
luncheon that day If he took cream in
his coffee! And Max coming to the
rescue by dropping his watch in his
glass of water, and creating a diver
sion and giving every body an oppor-
tunity to laugh by saying not to mind,
it had been in soak before.
Just after luncheon Aunt Selma
brought me some undergarments of
Jirl's to be patched. She explained at
length that he had always worn out
his undergarments. because he always
squirmed around so when he was sit
ting, And she showed me how to lay
one of the garments over pillow to
get the patch in properly
1t was the most humiliating moment
Of any life but there was no escape.
took my sewing to the roof. while she
went away to find something else for
me to do when that was finished, and
| l sat with the thing on my knee and
| stared at 1t. while rebellious tears
| rolled down my cheeks. The patch
was not tho shape of the hole at all
and every time / took stitch sewed
Il fast to the pillow beneath, It was
/ terrible Jim came up after while
and sat down across from he an6
watched, without saying anything.
suppose what he felt would not have
been proper TO say TO me. We hat
both reached the point where ade
quate language failed us. Finally h
said:
i wish | were dead.
so do l." retorted. Jerking tn,
thread.
Where is she now?'
Looking for more of these" | in
dicated the garment over the pillow
and he wiggled Please don
squirm." l said coldly. You will wea
out your-lingerie. and l will have Il
mend them"
He sat very still for Ave minutes
when l discovered that l had put tn
patch in crosswise instead of length
wise and that it would not fit AS
j1rksd ii out he sneezed.
oh. sneeze," added venomously
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
"JUST FEMINIST THE HILL"
Little Pointer for Those Who Feel q
Desire to Seek the State Of
Matrimony.

The state of Matrimony is one of
the United States. 1t is bounded by
kissing and hugging On one side and
cradles and babies on the other. Its
chief products are population, broom
sticks and staying out at night 1t
was discovered by Adam and Eve
while trying to find Northwest pas
sage out of Paradise. The climate is
sultry until you pass the tropics of
housekeeping. when squally weather
commonly sets in with such power as
to keep all hands as cool as cucum-
bers. For the principal roads leading
to this interesting state, consult the
first pair of blue eyes you SEEK
change.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
lTCHED so COULD NOT SLEEP

Il suffered from the early part of
December until nearly the beginning
of March with severe skin eruptions
on my face and scalp At first L
treated it as trivial matter. But
after having used CASTLE soap, medi-
Gated washrags, cold cream, vanish
ing cream, ETC., found no relief what
ever. After that diagnosed my case
as eczema, because of it's dry, scaly
appearance. The itching and burning
of my scalp became so intense that
thought / should go mad, having not
slept regularly for months past, only
at intervals, waking up now and then
because of the burning and itching of
my skin. Having read different tes-
timonials of cures by the Cuticura
Remedies, I decided to purchase a box
of Cuticura Ointment and cake of
Cuticura Soap. After using them for
few days / recognized a marked
change in my condition. / bought
about two boxes of Cuticura Ointment
and FIVE cakes of Cuticura Soap in all,
and after few days / was entirely
free from the itching and burning.
My eczema was entirely cured, all
due to using Cuticura Soap and ONT
ment daily. Hereafter | will never
be without a cake of Cuticura Soap on
my washstand. | highly recommend
the Cuticura Remedies to anyone suf-
fering from similar skin eruptions and
hope you will publish my letter so
that others may learn of Cuticura
Remedies and be cured" (Signed)
David M. Shaw, care Paymaster, Pier
So, N r., New York City, June 2, 1910.
Cuticura Remedies sold everywhere.
Send to Potter Drug & Chem. Corp,
Boston, for free book on skin and
scalp troubles.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

broke in. Il tell you, there is some
thing queer about him. she added in
a portentous whisper.
Anne stiffened.
"He is perfect" she declared "Of
good family. warm-hearted, coura-
geous, handsome, clever-what more
do you ask"
Honesty" said Leila holly. That
a man should be what he says he is
Anne and both stared.
1T is your Mr.. HARRISON" Leila
went on, who tried to escape from
the house by putting board across
to the next roof"
Il don't believe it, said Anne. You
might bring me a picture of him,
board in hand, and l wouldn't believe
it,"
Don't then" Lollie said cruelty.
Let him get away with your pearls;
they are yours Only, as sure as any
thing, the man who tried to escape
from the house had a reason for es-
Gaping, aud the papers said man in
evening dress and light oyercoat. /
found Mr.. Harbison's overcoat today
lying in a heap in one of the maid 8
rooms, and it was covered with brick
dust all over the front A button had
even been torn of"
"Pooh!" Anne said. when she had
recovered herself little. There isn't
any reason. as far as that goes, why
Flanagan shouldn't have worn Toms
! overcoat. or-any of the others.
'Flannigan!" Leila said lOftily
Why, his arms are like piano legs;
he couldn't get into it. AS for the
others, there is only one person who
would At. or nearly fit. that overcoat
! and that is Dallas. Anne"
While Anne was choking own hel
wrath, Leila got up and darted cut q
the tent When she came bach she
was triumphant.
Look" she said. holding out heI
hand. And on her palm lay a llgatist
brown button. Il found it just where
the paper said the board was thrown
out, and it is from Mr.. HARRISON
overcoat. without a doubt"
OF course l should not have beer
surprised \ man who would kiss ;
woman on dark staircase-a woman
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

You viii tear yeur buttons on, and l
will have to sew them on
Jim rose wrathfully. Don't sit,
don't sneeze.'" he repeated Don't
stand, suppose, for fear / win wear
out my socks Here, give me that. If
the fool thing has to be mended, III
do it myself"
He went over to a corner of the
parapet and turned his back TO me.
He was very much offended. In about
minute he came back. triumphant,
and held out the result of his labor.
I could only gasp. He had puckered
up the edges of the hole like the neck
OF bag. and had tied the thread
around it. "You--you won't be able
to sit down" i ventured
Don't have any time to sit" he re-
torted promptly Anyhow. it will give
some, won't IT? II would IL It was tied
with elastic. instead of thread Have
you any elastic?~
Lollie came up just then. and jim
took himself and his mending down
stairs: Luckily, Aunt Selma found
several letters in his room that after
noon while she was going over his
clothes, and as it took Jim some time
to explain them, she forgot the task
she had given me altogether.
When LoIIie came up TO the roof.
she closed the door to the stairs, and
coming over. drew a chair close to
mine.
s4FEaxe v,,,,, coo, much .f Tow, +,,l,, %,
she asked. as an introduction.
Il suppose you mean Mr. HARRISON,
Lollie." I said 'No-not any more
than I could help. Don't whisper, he
couldn't possibly hear you. An if it's
scandal ] don't want to know it."
Look here, Kit. she retorted. you
needn't be so superior If I like to
talk scandal. I'm not so sure you
aren't making it."
That was the way right along
was making scandal; brought them
there to dinner; l let Bella in.
And, of course, Anne came up then,
and began on me at once.
You are a very bad girl she be-
gan. What do you mean by treating
Tom HARRISON the way you do? sde IS
heart broken"
Il think YOU exaggerate my fnflu-
ence over him. retorted. Il haven't
treated him badly, because l haven't
paid any attention to him.
Anne threw up her hands.
There you are." she said. He
worked all day yesterday fixing this
place for you yes, for you, my dear.
am not blind-and last night you re-
fused to let him bring you up"
He told you!" | famed.
lie wondered what he had done.
And as you wouldn't let him come
within speaking distance of you. he
came to me-"
Il am sorry, Anne, since you are
fond of him" l said. But to me he
is mpossible-intolerab My rea-
sons are quite sufficient"
kit is perfectly right. Anne" Leila
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
TRAIN LOAD AFTER
TRAIN LOAD OF
SETTLERS
ARE GOING TO CENTRAL CANADA.

The question of reciprocal trade re-
iations. between the United States and
Canada has provoked considerable
discussion and interest. Whatever
else the discussion may have done, it
has brought out the fact that on the
Canadian side of the line the agri-
cultural situation is one that forces
attention, and it has also brought forth
the fact which it is well to face, that
on the American side OF the border,
there is a vastly increasing popula-
ton to be fed with a somewhat de-
creasing proportion of food products.
This article is intended to point out
to those who may wish to become Of
those who can raise wheat, oats, bar
ley, fax, cattle and hogs at the least
cost that the opportunities in Central
Canada are what they are seeking.
During the past year the official fig
ures show that upwards of 100000
Americans located In Canada, and the
greatest majority of these have settled
on farms, and when the time comes,
which it will within few years, they
will be ready to help serve their par
ent country with the food stuffs that
its increasing population will require.
The immigration for the spring has
now set in in great earnest, and train
load after train load of a splendid
class of settlers leave weekly from
Kansas City, Omaha, Chicago, De-
troit, St. Paul and other points Most
of these are destined through to points
in Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Al
berta The reports that come from
the different farming districts there
are that the spring is opening up well,
and the prospects for a splendid crop
this year are very good In some dis
tricts good homesteads are yet avail
able. The price of all farm lands has
naturally had an increase, but 1t is
still away below its earning capacity.
The immigration branch of the Domin-
ion Government has just published it's
1911 illustrated pamphlet, which may
be secured on application to the De-
partment of the Interior. Ottawa,
Canada, or any of the agents of the
Dominion Government, whose adver-
tisement may appear elsewhere in this
paper.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
No Excuse at All.

N. C. Goodwin, the comedian. was
condemning new comedy at dinner
in New York.
Its Climax" he said, is false and
unsatisfactory-as false and unsatis-
factory as Rowndar's excuse.
"On Rowndar's return at very late
hour. his wife said reproachfully:
"'You used to vow / was the sun
shine of your life, but now you stay
out night after night
Well, my love- said Rowndar, !
don't ask for sunshine after dark"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

SASKATOON'S district has never
known crop failure, even in most adverse
seasons. Hence the prosperity of our
English-speaking agricultural community
Hence the fact that Saskatoon's population
has jumped from lib to over 10000 in less
than seven years. We have lots of land
Why not keep the family together by get
ting some for yourself and the boys? For
all information. write Commissioner, Board
of Trade. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, West
ern Canada.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Ola ;sification.

Sir" said little clustering man
to religious opponent; Il say sir,
do you know to what sect l belong?"
Well, / don't exactly know" was
the answer; but to Judge by your
make, shape, and size, should say
you belonged to class called the In
sect
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Liable TO channe

Redd-Why is Footlighte so chesty
today?
Greene Why. he's Just discovered
that a cigar has been named after
him.
Has he smoked any of them yet p"
Certainly not: that's why hes
chesty Yonkers Statesman.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
TOO Gree.

Seymour What caused the AIlcome
Life Insurance company to fail?
Ashley-lt was altogether too free
in accepting risks; don't believe it
would have even refused to insure the
life of 4 turkey the day before Thanks
giving.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

Homer-Did YOU ever see mum,
my?
Trotter-Yes
Homer-What did it look like.
Trotter-Did you ever see a dried
apple?
Homer-Yes.
Trotter-Well that's a mummy on
a small scale
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Not Responsible.

Teacher-You are late every morn
ing
Pupil-Well it isn't nay fault that
you didn't build your blamed old
school house nearer my home.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
LADIES CAN WEAR SHOES

bne size smaller after using Allen Foot Ease the
Antisepuc powder to be shaken into the shoes. 1t
makes tight or new shoes fee easy Gives and
comfort. Refuse substitutes. For FREE trial
package, address Allen 5. Olmsted. LIE Roy, n. z.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Getting the Worst Of 1t.

"Bliggins isn't very lucky in driving
bargains
No. He says he can't even change
his own mind without getting the
worst of the deal"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

You are not treating yourself or your
family fairly if you don't keep Hamlins
Wizard Oil in the house It's the best
substitute for family doctor and a mighty
good friend in case of emergency.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

We always like those who admire
us; we do not always like those whom
we admire.-Francis Due de Roche
faucauld.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

Set yourself earnestly to see what
you were made to do. and then set
yourself earnestly to do Phillips
Brooks
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

Plants have movement without will,
animals have the will to live. human
beings have the will to live diyinely.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Badly Scared.

Were you born with that stam-
mer?"
No; | acquired it in trying to pro
pose to a rich girl. Washington Her
aid
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

Eye SaIve in Ascptic Tubes
Prevents nfection-Murine Eye Salve
In Tubes for all Eye flis. No Morphine.
Ask Druggists for New Size Csc. Val
BILE Eye Book in Each Package.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

Take Garfield Tea in the spring to purify
the blood and cleanse the system.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

Why quarrel over religions when all
men agree-all men. that Is. at the
same grade of intellect?
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Indication of Wisdom.

Why do they call the owl the bira
OF wisdom"
1T stays out all night and doesn't
t~il what it sees or does. Judge.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

The better you behave the better
you'll get along. Now, try it.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

The time you can depend upon I
woman is when you are sick or in
trouble.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Spring Debility

Is due to the impure, impoverished, devitaixed
condition of the blood which causes that tired
feeling and loss of appetite as well as the pImpIes
boiIs and other erupuons common at this season,
1t cured by the great constitutional remedv
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Hoods SarsapariIIa

which effects It's wonderful because contains 7
but because combines the utmost remedial values than
different ingredients There real substitute for Hoods Sarn
If urged buy preparation said be YOU NAV
is INFERIOR less make and yields the dealer larger nft
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
@s. THE GOSPEL I'M PRINT - -

Sound Ev zelical Literature for the Million
Books Pamphlets Tracts Scripture and Wal notices
for all ages classes and moods; also Bibles, fsstassas
Gospel portions and Hymn books. Supplies sor Sa.s
sn Work srs-colporters and evHngelists especially s0
Missionaries wanted in Community for entre
timo fair financial remuneration Worh toenoos .
o. L. Moeey, In 1894. Correspondence with loveG
Bible truth invited srbe Messages Of Good Books Never
The Bibie Inst Coluortsge Assn s2s La Sale Az Ceass
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14

Mrs., Newpop-Mrs. Jones SAYS that
only one woman in thousand is ca
pable of bringing up children.
Mr.. Newpop-Tll bet she thinks she
is one of the ones.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-14
Compared.

CTo BE CONTINUED
La Junta tribune., 1911-04-15
Santa Fe Looking for Trouble.

The recent discharge of ten first
class machinists. some Of whom are
the oldest and most expert mechanics s
in the shops, has caused excitement
here among Santa Fe men.
There are two different causes as
signed for the discharge. The one
advanced by numerous mechanics is
that the cl an-up is the result OF the
discovery that many machinists hold
union cards. Officials OF the mechan-
ical department say that the men
were let out because of a reduction
in the force.
Eight CT the ten men discharged
are said TO be mem ers Of the ma.
chinist union. II has been known
among railroad men for several years
that there have teen union lnen in
the shops Officials Of the road adj
mitted H. II the discharge of the
ten men was for the reason that they
were union men, the Santa Fe has
again commenced to fear the machin-
lists. the union of which was broken
after one Of the most bitter struggles
In the history OF the Santa Fe.