davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
CIGAR DEALERS READY WIT
Phlladelphisn Takes Advantage OF Gus
toners Mistake to Hasten Pay
ment Of His Account.

Harry PetosKy, rho conducts a cigar
store in Philadelphia is the pos.
SCISSOR OF an old fashioned type
writer upon which he makes out
bills and occasionally writes a let.
ter, At the end of every typewriter
page he is in the habit OF putting II. p.
!, c. s., the first two being his ini.
tails and the last set for Independent
Cigar Store
A few weeks ago, In writing to a
delinquent customer to remit his ac-
count, he forgot to attach the series
OF letters. The customer, noting the
detection In the letter, answered at
once, saying in part: What has be.
come OF your stenographer since you
wrote me last? notice you did not
put II P.-I. c, s on your letter"
For the time surprised at the false
Impression he had been creating,
Harry VITA ready wit, answered at
once:
Had to fire the poor girl this week,
because you're holding a weeks salary
that wanted to give her. Please remit
at once"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
VELASQUEZ A CHEAP ARTIST
A. Court Painter He Received 81 a
Month When He Was About
Twenty-Five Years Old.

Don Caspar de Guzman, Condo
Duque d'Olivarez. born in Rome in
1887, became the first minister of
Philip Nv. in 1921, was dismissed In
1913 after career Of mismanagement
and died in exile two years later. A
patron Of the painters. 1t was through
him that Velasquez at twenty-four be-
came court painter to the young king
at eighteen. In return Velasquez paint
a number Of portraits for his protec-
tor. The notable example. which has
recently been presented to the His
panic museum Of New York, was
painted when velasquez was about
twenty-five years old, shortly after he
came to court.
The canvas, measuring 81 by IS
inches. came from Capt. Robert 8.
Holford Of London. in whose posses
sion 1t had long been held after hav.
ing passed through the Baillie sale In
1858, when 1t sold for G59S los, and
the Scarisbrick sale in 1861, when It
sold for G262 los, very moderate
sums compared to the surprising fig
ure said to have been paid for It re-
Gently. At the time 1t was painted
Velasquez was receiving $11 a month
for his services as court painter.-w.
Stanton Howard, in IIarper's Maya
zine.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
EDUCATED PORK WAS GOOD
And the Circus Property Man Searched
for Reuben, the Pet Pig,
In Vain.

Reuben, a much advertised educated
pig belonging to the John Robinson cir
Gus, which was showing In this city
recently. Is no more. says a Cincinnati
dispatch to the New York Tribune. His
fate was kept secret for week. for
more or less obvious reasons. Hal New.
port, the clown OF the circus, who ap-
peared nightly In the sawdust arena
with the pig. said:
That pig could do anything. but
talk, and could nearly do that, as he
spelled his name with letter blocks. AL
was confusion the night we broke
camp at Terrace Park. We had pork
chops for supper. and they we're par
ticularly delicious. We were all eat
Ing our heads OF, when the property
man rushed in and cried that Reuben
had vanished.
He got mixed up with those pigs
that were sent from the stock yards,
he gasped
Was one Of those pigs white
one. with black polka dots?' l asked
the cook
1T was he replied.
Then we have eaten Reuben I
cried.
The property man is no longer at.
.ached to the circus"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
A MANLY Minister.

Thereil be less sleeping done In fu.
ture In the First Christian church Of
Los Angeles, because the rector just
won't stand for 1t, as is evidenced by
what he did some nights ago. It seems
that the worthy man went into the pull.
pit to discourse, when he was annoyed
by two men who were sound asleep
In one OF the front pews. He called
attention to the fact, and one Of the
sleepers was aroused. and did not
transgress again. but his partner did
not wake to the rebuke. and quietly
slept on. The parson became indig.
nant. and as he had several hymn
books in the pulpit with him, he fred
one or two at the sleeper, but without
avail. and then he unloaded all the
books he had at the intruder, to the
establishment Of the congregation, who
by this time were tittering at a great
rate, but the sleeper didn't seem to
mind 1t much, for he looked up.
changed his position, and fell asleep
again. This is an astonishing case,
probably unparalleled in history, but
1t goes to show that there's a limit to
what preachers will stand. even when
they are in the pulpit And they are
right. If a man doesn't go to church
to worship, he should remain away.
and such sacrilegious scamps as sleep.
chatter and scandalize should be put
out.--New Orleans Picayune
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
True to the Death.

Not lorg since the driver of the en-.
CINE on one OF the Belgian lines Of
railway saw a large dog on the road
way between the metals. He put on
the whistle. yet It did not move, but
only stood and barked furiously at the
approaching engine. Still on, on, on.
came the train, and still there stood
the dog. more furious than before. The
train passed. and at the next station
It was noticed that part of a dress
was clinging to the wheel guard A
messenger was sent back. when Q
dead child was found, which had evi.
IDENTIFY fallen asleep. and whom the
noble dog tried to protect to the very
last. giving his very life sooner than
finch from his trust.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18

nell was peeling forth regular
chime. but Chalmers complacently
waited. She came out OF the studio
and down the corridor.
Il had no idea," she said depre-
catingly, that you would walt all
this time"
He assured her gravely that 1t had
been no trouble to wait This time
ne realized that an automobile and
an elevator wdre run on different
plan. and the descent was comfort
crowd waited. The ire increased
when the operator stepped out and
walked down the lobby. The young
woman came hurrying after him.
Take this. please, and thank you
Tor waiting so long"
She handed him quarter Of a
dollar"
Thank you" he said.
She hurried out of the building,
The youth who ran the elevator came
Dreathlessly in. In his wake came
Langley. whose entrance recalled to
Chalmers his errand. A few moments
later they were whirling away In
ChalmeTss car.
HIVE you met Miss Randall yet,
Jim" asked Langley in the course
of the conversation She is visiting
here from Pittsburg"
NO; and probably shall not have
Che opportunity to meet her. un-
'derstand she told Mrs. Wilmerth that
she did not care to have me pre-
scented"
DO YOU want to know why"
I confess to an average amount OF
curiosity"
Mrs. Wilmerrh set you forth in
glowing colors. Said you belonged to
she idle rich who iespised working
psUple OF any one who looked to
effort for a livelihood overheard
yhe conversation myself | am go,
ing TO take II upon myself to ex.
plain to Miss Randall"
NO, pray don't" said Chalmers
Iuicky. II shall doubtless meet her
in the course Of events and | think
time and circumstances adjust errors
better than explanations"
Chalmers was the last arrival al
yhe little dinner given for Miss Ran
sian that night
You know everyone here, Jim
asked his hostess as he came into tn,
library. Miss Randall"
Yes, have met Mis-, Randall" h,
replied gravely, looking full into tn,
astonished eyes Of the young womel
standing near. Then he crossed tn
repn TO ind the young matron b
Sgas 10 take In to dinner
Nils Randall sat opposite him a
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
JACK OF
ALL TRADES
By BELLE MANDATES
Copyright 1911. by Associated Literary
Press)

Copyright. 1911. by Associated Literary
Press)
Jim Chalmers was tinkering with
nis car while his chauffeur stood
alphabetically looking on.
rhere!" said Chalmers, with q last
triumphant turn of the wrench. She's
AS Trim as trigger now. and you can
tust run me down to the Stone build.
Rng. Langley bet that couldn't do
This job of repairing myself"
As he walked through the lobby of
she building TO the elevator he looked
p'uefully down at his clothes. His
trousers lacked creases A soft dark
Mannel shirt. and old cap and work
ang gloves were not the makeup that
might be expected for one In his posi-.
zion, but II was his favorite working
wegalia.
The elevator was down, the door
open. but no operator was to be seen
chalmers stepped within. A few mo.
ments later young woman. tall and
with imperious bearing. entered.
The tenth floor" she said. In a
musical voice.
Chalmers accepted the situation.
slid the door shut and in an instant
Hhe car shot up with such speed that
nhe successive numbers Of the floors
looked like sum in addition. The
passenger looked little startled. but
did not lose outward composure AS
whe elevator stopped at the tenth floor
with jolt she turned TO him
Would you mind waiting for me?
y will be gone only moment. and I
am In great haste"
Certainly" was the courteous re-
ply.
Chalmers watched her meditating-
ay as she walked down the corridor
with easy grace. At the door OF a
studio of music she knocked and then
opened the door. One minute-two--
Shree-four. Meantime the elevator
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
Circulating Libraries.

It is absolutely impossible to say
Just when the first circulating library
was opened. II there was ever a rec.
ord of the important event. II is lost
We know that during the middle ages
stationers used to lend books on hire.
and here, no doubt. we have the germ
Of the modern circulating library. One
Samuel Fancourt started a real cir.
culating library In England about the
year 1740. but 1t appears that the peo-
pie were not ready for 1t. since II
soon failed. Similar institutions at
Bath and London. some ten years
later. seem to have succeeded. and
from that time the circulating library
began to get a foothold, not only in
England. but in other European coun.
tries
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
Eyes, I'm A GREAT AUTHOR"
Asade, BaIzsc and Sue Puned IneH
Own Works as Being Fine
Literature.

Authors in "the good old days" were
not above writing their own puns.
writer in the Bohemian says. Charles
Reade wrote long article on himseh
for Once Week, In which he said;
ct Is impossible to speak too high
ly of The Cloister and the Hearth.
It is one Of the most scholarlike ana
learned as well as one OF the most
artistic and beautiful works OF fiction
in any language Read him. Resign
yourself to the magic spell OF his ge-
MUS. The effect of Foul Play Is
perfectly marvellous. II leaves the
stories OF every other sensational writ
er far behind"
Nor was Balzac In France above
praising his own works. "If you have
not been born story teller" he wrote
in q review. you will never obtain
the popularity of NJ. de Balzac. Ana
what a story teller! What nerve and
wit! How the world is dissected by
this man! What passion and cool
ness!"
But the height OF literary advertise
ment in the first half of the last CEN
fury was reached in the case OF Eu'
gene Sues famous novel, THE Wan.
dering Jew" Every little while the
daily installment In the newspaper In
which 1t was appearing would be
missing, and in it's place would be an
announcement that NJ. Sue was sufter'
ing from a slight indisposition and
readers would be obliged to wait ~
hours for new developments of tie
narrative. And all the while Sue
himself was industriously abetting the
publishers by posing overdressed and
with spurs In his boots at the Cafe
de Paris in an attitude Of deepest alb
straction. as II wondering what the
next installment would be about"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
IT WAS A TRAGEDY, ANYWAY
How Professor 6ranefog Got Tangled
Up In Carrying Out Ills Wlfe's
instructions.

The people didn't merely look AZ
Professor Branefog-they stared. He
knew he was absent minded at, times.
and he wondered whether he had
rubbed his face with boot polish In
stead Of cold cream after he had
shaved. or whether he had forgotten
to change his dressing gown for his
frock coat
But kind policeman put things
right.
Are you aware. sir. that you are
carrying a joint of beef In your armsr
he asked.
Goodness mel" said the professor.
81 knew something was wrong. MY
wife told me to put her Sunday hat
on the bed. to place this joint in the
oven and to take the baby and the
dog out for walk"
You've not put the baby in the
oven. surely?" said the laws guardian.
II put something In IT," said Brane-
fog; but don't know whether 1t was
the baby or the dog"
With bated breath they hurried to
the professors house. Here. on the
bed. lay the baby and the dog; but IL
was Just as bad for Branefog 1t was
his wife's Sunday hat that was In the
oven!
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
A STITCH IN Time
logan People Should Not Neglect
Their Kidneys.

No kidney ailment Is unimportapt.
Don't overlook the slightest backachc
or urinary irregularity. Nature may
be warning you Of approaching drop.
81. or fatal Brights disease. Kidney
disease is seldom fatal II treated in
time, but neglect paves the way for
serious kidney troubles. Don't neg.
lect lame or aching back another
day. Don't ignore dizzy spells, irreg
ular or discolored urine, headaches,
WEAKNESS or depression. Begin treat.
ing the kidneys with the reliable, time.
tried remedy, Doan's Kidney pills.
For 20 years, Doan's have been cur.
ing sick kidneys and curing perma.
nently. Endorsed by Logan people.
Mrs. Isaac Smith, 81 s. Second East
st., Logan, Utah, says: "Doan's Kid.
ney pills have been used in my family
with such good results that can re-
commend them as first-class kid.
ney medicine. I had several severe
attacks OF kidney complaint but since
learning of Doans Kidney Pills have
rallied upon them for relief. This pre-.
paration has also relieved my child
len of kidney complaint and always
have a box on hand for that purpose"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster-Mllburn Co., Buffalo
New Fork, sale agents for the Uni
ted States.
Remember the name Doan's -
and take no other
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18

dinner. and he felt from time to time
her stolen uncomfortable chances In
bis direction.
Jim." spoke Beverly suddenly
rom the end of the table. have you
had your machine repaired since
your last mishap?"
Yes; put her in running order
myself. took the entire morning"
oh. Mr.. Chalmers" said the wo-
man beside him. you must be quite
a mechanic!"
Yes" he replied. laughing. 81 be-
iieve am a jack OF all trades Only
this noon did duty as an elevator
operator In the Stone building"
Tell us about IT," pleaded his host
ess.
The elevator boy was not at his
post and l stepped into await his
coming. A young lady entered and
asked me to take her TO the tenth
floor OF course did so, Then she
asked me to wait there a moment.
Her moment proved to be the pro-
verbal woman's moment But she
upon me a fee which shall always
keep. II is the first money ever
earned by manual labor"
He looked coolly and directly at
Miss Randall. Her face was flushed,
but In the dark eyes that met his
there was a look of such panied con-
triton that Chalmers felt ashamed OF
his palpable hit.
II don't see how any one could mis-
take you for an elevator operator"
said Mrs. Wilmerth. Indignantly.
''If you had seen him at that time,
Mrs. Wilmerth," laughed Langley.
you would have wondered still more.
I never saw such a disreputable look
ing object"
We'll. I never supposed that dress
made the man entirely" Chalmers re-
marked.
He was the first man to enter the
drawing room after dinner. His ho7t-
ess at once Joined him.
Jim, Miss Randall says you are
mistaken-that you have never been
presented to her"
They went up to Miss Randall who
stood apart from the others. After
the Introduction the hostess left
them.
why did you say you had met me.
Mr.. Chalmers?" she asked.
Because" he said slowly and
meaningly. from something | had
heard thought you would be pleased
to avoid an introduction"
II think. Mr. Chalmers" she said
frankly. that you were maligned to
me. beg your pardon for a foolish
remark"
oh" he laughed.
Bentley came, up to them. and
Chalmers had no further opportunity
to speak to her during the evening
until she was leaving He asked to
see her to her car, They found her
chauffeur standing beside the car
His face was white and drawn.
81 have wrenched my arm" he ex.
planned. Il fear it's broken"
Chalmers quickly called to his
man.
Here, Lane, take this man in my
car to the doctors and see that he's
fixed up all right and then take him
home, May | drive you home" he
asked Miss Randall.
you certainly are a Jack of all
trades" she said as they drove home
from the doctors office where she
had insisted on going. DO | dare
offer you another fee"
Not now" he said slowly. Some
day when have earned the right
am going to ask for more than a
fee"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
REALLY COULDN'T STAND IT
Wages were Satisfactory and Work
Easy. But the English Was
'Orrlbie.

Col. Goethals, chief engineer OF the
Panama canal. is naturally a person
age of some little consequence on the
isthmus. and must maintain digni-
fed establishment. Not long ago, ac-
cording to story told by visitor at
Panama, the colonel had a paragon
OF a butler-a negro from the island
of Jamaica, with the very best Eng.
lish training, air, and accent.
One day this paragon appeared be-
fore Col. Goethals and In his best pro-
fessional manner informed him that he
found Il necessary 10 leave. He took
the step with deep regret, he said, but
he must go,
whats the trouble?" asked the
colonel. Don't pay you enough"
MY salary, sir, is entirely satisfac'
tory"
is your work too hard?"
The work, sir, is quite easy"
"Then what in blazes (or words to
that effect are you quitting for?"
snapped the colonel
"If you insist, sir" the paragon re.
piled. 81 will tell you. But fear. sir.
Il will offend you"
Lets hear 1t, anyway" said the
engineer
well. sir, since you will have Il, sir,
II is the 'orrible language you speak
I cannot bear to hear the English
tongue mangled and butchered as |
am forced to do In this house | de.
sire, sir, TO seek service with some
English family"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
How oyster Islands Are Formed.

TOW Dyster IsIanos are Formed.
Oyster Islands. similar to those
formed of coral. are found in several
parts of the world. The islands in
Newport river and Beaufort Harbor.
North Carolina, says a writer In the
Century Path Magazine. have been
discovered to have as base reef to
which The spawn were attached and
above this layer upon layer of oysters,
vegetable growth, and debris brought
by the action of the waves and winds,
all of which finally grows high enough
to rise above the surface of the water.
This growth Is exactly analogous TO
that of the coral islands OF the Pa.
cific.
The islands near the mouth OF the
River Tagus in Portugal are said to
have been built up in this way also
Here. where there is such a quantity
Of oysters that 100 million year
would scarcely be missed II they were
removed, the expanse of water Just
beyond the rivers mouth is dotted
with oyster Islands. AS in the case Of
the coral reefs, which on the seward
side may be covered with living. grow.
Ing coral live oysters thrive In the
same waters where the accumulation
of dead generations has served to
form the islands
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
Different Circumstances.

Daughter delightedly) And did you
really consents"
Father-"Consent? My stars had
to The man demanded your hand
IKE a highwayman holding up coach.
Consent? My good gracious! be
leyed from the way he looked and
acted he would have knocked me down
II | hadn't"
Daughter--"Oh, II can't be! You
must have been dreaming. Why, when
he proposed to me he trembled so
that he could hardly speak, and
ne looked so weak and nervous had
to hurry up and say Yea TO keep him
lIom fainting"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18

Farmers, mechanics, rallroaders, la
borers rely on DR.. Thomas Electric
oil, Takes the sting out Of cuts,
burns, or bruises at once. Pain can.
not stay where ii Is used
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18

"Doan's Ointment cured me of &c.
zema that had annoyed me long
time. The cure was PRONUNCIATION
s w. Matthews. Commissioner Labor
Statistics. Augusta, Me.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18
EXCURSION TO CANADA.
August 3rd.

Via Oregon Short Line. Very low
rates to Lethbridge. Cardston, Ma
grath, Raymond, Stirling and other
points, with long limit. For further
details, write d. Z. Burley, General
Passenger agent, o. S. l.. r. r. Co.,
Salt Lake City, Utah. az
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18

Impure blood runs you down =
makes you an easy victim for organ
ic diseases. Burdock Blood Ditters pur.
flies the blood-cures the cause -
builds you up.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-07-18

Cheapest accident insurance DR..
Thomas Electric OIL Stops the pain
and heals the wound. All druggists
sell 1t.
The Forrest City times., 1911-11-03

II. E. Nebett has been appointed Sole Agent for Chase X Sanborn x famous line of Coilees and Teas Chase X Sanboru is the largest coffee and tea house in the world. Every pound of their goods is guaranteed 10 be the best in the world Buy q can. and if you are not sal istied We will refund Yaur money
 School has begun and the boys must have a good. warm, substantial suit for winter We have them in all sizes. colors and fabrics. and are offering them at bargain prices Mir. Rowland has charge of this depart ment See him. or auy of the other saieemen will show you through and be glad 10 give your wants their most courteous attent ion. Me invite you to give us a call and get our prices. Fussel-Graham- Alderson Company.
The Forrest City times., 1911-11-03

MT. and Mrs. Will Ryan have moved back from their place at the Cut on 10 their old home at the Nal lory place, | mile and a half northeast of town. where they are cordially welcomed by their ueighbors and friends
 MT. and Mrs Roy Neier have the sympathy Of the entire community in the loss of their sveetlittle six-weeks old baby, which died Sunday of sum mef complaint. aud was buried Mon day in the Forrest City Cemetery Key. J. #it. Nelson spoke words Of com fort te the 6ereaFed relatives, and conducted tHe religious exercises at the grave. The baby was unnamed
 Mr. Ainsworth. manager of the stevens hdertaking parlors, was the victim Of q runaway accident We'd nesday, in which he narrowly escaped serious injury if not death He step ped into the buggy In front of the parlors and started for d drive, and the horse became unmanageable and ran away with him, going north on Washington street. \ lawn swing iu the road i'll front of Mrs. l5eck'S resi-. dence, left there by pranksh boys the night before, caused the animals to turn suddenly East Mr Ainsworth was thrown out. He was picked up bleeding from q wound on his fore. head, and taken in Mr. Iammet FefrelI's auto To his room, and Dr AheY summoned II was feared that there Was q ~iigtl concussion of The brain. bHt We are glad to note that he 'e able to he up and about his duties The horse made u el,irele of the sever. al block, dhd Was Captured iH front of the Bank of Forrest City. without furtber damage.
The Forrest City times., 1911-11-03

Mr and Mrs Edward Roleson re- turned fast triday night fIom Mari anna, where they had been attending the China wedding of Hon and Mrs II F Rolesun. and where they had enjoyed q perfectly delight tal visit. They were accompanied hy Miss Anna Roleson and Nils, Virginia Norton.
 Mr. r C. Green, genial salesman with Russell Grabam-A ldefson Com panX, has been suffering very much this week from the effects of the bite of d mosquito or some insect which bit him on his finger Tuesday night The pam has been eXcruciatlng and it was feared that blood poisoning would result. lie was unable to at tend his duties at the store for sever al days