davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
WAS STILL MAUD LILLIAN
New Head and Body for chIld's BE.
loved Doll, But balr Was
the Same.

With tears in her eyes and q large
and very much damaged doll in her
arms. very little girl appeared at
the mending counter of a dolls hos.
pital the other day and displayed her
broken treasure. The dolls face was
broken, one arm was completely gone
and one foot was minus all the toes.
The very little girl confided to me
clerk that she wanted dolly made
we'll again. I'm afraid it won't be
worth while to fix It," said the clerk,
regarding the new patient obviously.
you see there would have to be a
new head and new arm and new leg
I really think 1t would be better for
you to get new doll"
The tears overran the eyes Of the
very little girl at this suggestion.
But l want her to look like this
DOLL" she protested. II love Maud
Lillian too much to have new doll
In her place. You can get a new
head for her and new body, too, II
you like, but want her to have the
same hair that she has now, 30 she'll
look like her old selt."
The toy shop people are used to
carrying out the individual ideas Of
the little mothers OF the dolls. and so
no objection was made to preserving
Maud Lillian's identity by means Of
her somewhat crumpled golden locks.
A beautiful new doll of the proper
size was chosen, her glossy new wig
removed and the broken dolls wig
substituted. Newly bewigged In this
fashion and robed in the garments Of
the discarded doll, Maud Lillian bore
resemblance to herself that was
startling. considering the rather ex-
tensive anatomical alterations that
had been made in her. The very lit
tie girl seized her triumphantly and
bore her away, but the onlooker who
had witnessed the operation could
not but wonder in what Maud LII
lian's ego really consisted.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
The Antiquity Of Man.

1t has been known during a long
time that in western Europe man ex-
listed during the glacial epoch. We
now know that the great Ice age con-
sisted Of different glacial times sepa-
rated by interglacial times. In glacial
times the snow line dropped 5000 or
1000 feet below its present level in
the Alps, whereas in interglacial times
1t lay about 1000 feet higher than at
present. Thus the temperature seems
to have been higher in the interglacial
periods than 1t is now.
There is abundant evidence, in the
opinion of Penck. that man existed du-
ring the beginning of the last glacial
epoch. There is some reason for
thinking that at least 10000 years
have elapsed since the last glaciation
and that the man whose jawbone was
found in 1909 near Heidelberg lived
100000 years ago.-Scientific Ameri-
can.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
The Willy Wolf,

In the school of woodcraft and
knowledge of how to keep out Of dan
ger wolves have no four footed equals.
The fox is Ounce in comparison; the
coyote, prairie wolf, fool, and the
rest nowhere.
The giant moose, king Of the Cana
dian woods, is the most difficult of all
the deer species to stalk in the fall
months, but nevertheless it is often
stalked successfully and shot by ANA,
teurs. Not so the wolf.
Knowing this, and that true sport
must combine maximum Of exertion
and even danger to a minimum of de-
struction Though nothing would be
said about the destruction Of too many
wolves). also that there was more
honor to be gained IN outwitting and
shooting one wolf than a dozen easily
Btalked and innocent deer, the writer
organized wolf hunt for the winter
of--190S-9, built three log cabins some
miles apart and invited sportsmen to
participate.
During the three midwinter months
they came into camp in twos and
threes for week or ten days. hunt,
To all Of them the sport was new.
healthful and exciting, not to say dam
gerous, considering the quarry sought
and the risk of breaking Through thin
Ice on lakes and rivers id its pursuit.
Wide World.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
AIqy Telephones.


Algy staggered into the postoffice
and entered the telephone box. He
was Immediately clad. and in lord
ly humor.
"Hello!" he drawled. putting tho 70.
ce1ver to his ear.
A minute passed He repeated the
summons. His lordly humor began to
descend in rank.
"Hal-lo!" he called.
No response.
"Hallo!"
Still no response. His lordly humor
was now as gone as his temper. and
he shouted things into the receiver
which must have made even that OK
perienced instrument tremble.
At last, when the perspiration drib-
bled from his bursting brow, and his
hat was limp, and both he and his Ian
guage were exhausted. a notice caught
his eye. 1t read:
Give the number you require to
the clerk at the counter, and wait un.
I'll the connection is made"
He SUNK away so quietly that no
one saw him go.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
Priest to Edit MESSENGER.

Rev. J. f. X O'Connor, S. j., presi-
dent Of the Brooklyn College, who re-
Gently celebrated his silver jubilee,
has retired as head of the college and
is to become assistant editor of the
Messenger, q publication directed by the
Jesuit Fathers He is to be succeed
ed at the college by the Rev. John H.
O'Rourke.
Father O'Rourke, the new president
of the college, was Brooklyn boy. He
is 2 graduate of Fordham University
and has been in the Jesuit Order for
Fl years. He has been rector of the
jesuit Novitiate at Frederick, Md, and
at ST. Ambrose's, Poughkeepsie. For
the past three years he has been in
charge of the Messenger He is the
author of "Under the Sanctuary
Lamp"
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
WHY FALLIERE's CHEF LEFT
N. Tesche 5anished From the EIysee
6Iames Presidents Taste
for Garlic.

M. Tesche, famous French chef,
who was for ten years at the Elysee
and catered during that period to the
tastes of three successive French pres
idents. has been banished from France
by garlic. His fastidious taste re-
belled at The frequency with which M.
Fallieres demanded that his dishes
should be seasoned with garlic. and
he fled to London, where he has be-
| come the chef of hotel.
Speaking of his experiences while
at the Elysee NJ Tesche sums up the
characters of the three presidents
whom he served by the standards of
the grande cuisine.
For Felix Faure he has nothing but
praise. He was FIN gourmet" a
delicate epicure, and lover above all
things of shellflsh in their initial vari-
ETY.. Beginning with the snail, the
shellfish of the vines, M. Faure loved
them all, and the president drank with
his good dinners the best wines Of
Bouzy.
M. Loubet, too had good gifts of
discernment. Although provencal he
did not insist oyermuch on the south
ern note in cookery. With M. Loubet
NJ. Tesche made the famous voyage
to Cronstadt
But the crash came with the ad.
vent of M. Fallieres to the presiden.
tial chair, and after a few brief
months, M. Tesche found that his con.
science babe him retire.
1T was garlic in every DISH" said
M. Tesche Garlic in the soup, gar.
lie in the entree, garlic with the roast,
garlic with the vegetables. And every
thing had to be fried In OIL"
After a brief but impressive pause
M. Tesche added: ~
There is still cook at the Elysee
but there is no longer q Chef"
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
A Large Pro ieot.

Plans have been completed for the
irrigation and reclamation of 1.oOf) 0oo
acres of arid lands in Southwestern
Texas, which will be opened to sett-
lers. One project, upon which work is
to begin at once and which will result
in the irrigation Of more than 10000
acres, involves the construction of pos
sfbly the largest dam in the world,
which, with its canals, will cost &c.
100000. The dam will be constructed
in Medina River, thirty -four miles
south of San Antonio. 1t will be 100
feet high and 1880 feet long. Tho
Medina extends through Bexar, Wilson,
karnes, Goliad, and Refugio Counties.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
Two Views.

The pessimist-
A lot of toll, lot Of care,
A lot of woe to vex us:
A lot of trials and of tears,
And worries to perplex US.
Long years of struggle and OF strife
All that makes up the sum of life.
The optimist-
A lot of joy midst all our work,
The love Of friends and neighbors;
The smile of loved ones round the
hearth,
Sweet rest from weary labors.
For me the sun, the BIRDS the trees:
For me the music ringing,
When childish laughter greets my
ears,
And children's hands are clinrine.
Sweet welcome home when cometh
I'll live today. for life's all right.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
WISDOM OF THE WIDOW
DON'T LET MAN KNOW IT If YOU
CATCH HIM IN A LIE.
That Is Her PhiIosophie Advice, but II
10 Forgotten When Towards Per
fidy 10 Revealed to Her by
q Eriond.

l.! If you would keep the love of any
man, never let him know that you
have caught him in q lie," said the
widow. If you do, he never will for
give you. 1t will make him uncomfort-
able, and to his dying day man holds
a grudge against anybody that made
him uncomfortable. There is nothing
that so endears q woman to man as
trustful absorption Of his choicest
lies. Contrawise, there is nothing that
70 weakens her hold on his affections
Is an accusation Of untruthfulness
backed up with undisputed truth.
1T is pity all women cannot learn
his. If they could, the divorce courts
would get chance to shut down every
lay on schedule time. learned it. An
iged woman who had had four hus-
bands gave me tip on that before
married. and played it strong all the
way through. l admit it was hard
work. There came times when my CON-
non sense fairly shouted for vindi-
:ation, when the pretended inability
20 see beyond my own nose and even
10 the end Of 1t drove me to despera-
ton; but the simulated virtue paid in
the long run. My husband lived and
went to his reward sustained in an
unfaltering faith in my stupidity.
Consequently, he loved me to the
end.
Il am going to manage the next
one the same way. Will there be an
other? Oh, why, didn't you know?
Well, yes, am-to Howard Miller. Oh,
1t hasn't been definitely settled yet.
Some time in May, l believe"
The girl in blue beamed upon the
widow admiringly.
mo doubt your philosophy is
sound" she said, but never could
live up to it. BY the way, sup
pose you had fine time going to
the theater last week."
NO." said the widow, IT didn't go
Mt all. Howard was i'll. He had to
stay home from the Office all last
week. He wrote to me twice day.
Poor fellow he wasn't able to get out
Of the house,"
The girl in blue stared hard, then
blinked rapidly.
"Merciful goodness!" she gasped.
"Oh, dear-if this isn't-what shall
do? don't suppose l ought-yet.
must See here, my dear" she said.
with determination, 1--WE got to tell
you something. hate to do it. but
It's my duty. Howard Miller-lied-to
you. Yes, lied. He may have been
Ill, but he wasn't too i'll to get out
Of the house. Why. my dear, he-he
went to the theater five times last
! week. My brother saw him there.
Five times. Just think of it,"
The widow grabbed her handker-
chief and gloves.
Let me out Of here, quick" she
said. Went to the theater five
times in one week, did he? And yet
he wasn't able to come to see me!
O-o-oh, how dare he lie to me SO! I'll
show him! Just wait till catch him,
II l don't"
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
otis an Auto"

you ask Ronald what he was swearing
about?"
NO"
did you ask him why he kicked
that footstool up to the ceiling?"
NO"
And when he said he wished he
had never got married, you didn't say
he could bet his bottom dollar that
you wished the very same thing?"
i was shocked, you know
And so made Ounce of yourself!
Sister Katie, you are three years olde,
than l am. but I've got twice the
sense you have. Oh, why can't gel
married and show the rest of the
family how to manage husband!
Cr1cky, but you are lot of geese!"
But father says 1 did just right"
And he's Ounce and mother ditto
If they'd known beans they'd have sent
you right back and let you and Ron
aid sulked for couple of days and
then made up. Humph! Come run
ming back home just because your hus
Ds@Au NeSA40 AOu40 Ill q luOOUs
But he hasn't come near me to
say he's sorry" replied the wife in
voice that had a bit of a wall in it.
"Of course not. He's the man Of the
house. He's the 1t. He didn't leave
you, but you left him. Why should
he come crawling to you? Oh, you
nilny of wife!"
"But-but what can dot" the WON.
an sobbed.
I'LL drive you to your home instead
of to lawyers Office, and you wall
right up to Ronald and tell him to
swear and kick over things wheneve,
he feels like it. Those are spells. Tell
him you may have spell at any time
and break the mirrors and all the
dishes in the house. Will you do it?'
Il don't know. Well drive OF
while l think. thought-thought II
was awful for Ronald to come home
and act as he did, and so do pa and
ma, but"
"But I've seen father come into thu
house and kick the cat and yell Al
mother that II he found any more
Jumps in her mashed potatoes he'd
hunt another boarding place. Nice
old chap he is to advise a daughter
What's that coming?"
Il can't see."
well. ! can. It's an auto. and w
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
LoveIis.t Spot in Thr.. kinadom..

An interesting story is going the
rounds showing how Queen Mary, when
Princess Of Wales must have enioyed
her visits to Ireland, and especially to
the South. At Devonshire House the
other night, RS the Queen was leaving
after the Derby night dinner, and be-
fore the ball-owing to her Majesty be-
ing In mourning-she met two Ameri-
can ladies-Mrs. Whitelaw Reid and
Mrs. Charles Taft. the Presidents sis
ter-in-laW-on the way out, and spoke
to them. She inquired of Mrs. Taft
what were her plans, and that lady
announced that after the Coronation
she and her husband were going mo-
toring to the West of England. The
Queen said they should make a point
to go over to Ireland if they wanted
to see q beautiful country Especially
Killarney, the loveliest spot in the
Three Kingdoms"
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
The Limpina Ono.

s'V ."FsuS WV
You had no eyes for me. my lad,
never met your sight
When fiddles played upon. the green.
Or girls walked out at night. :
The laughing girls, the dancing girls
The rosy cheeks for you;
You know the black eyes challenging,
The softness of the pIue. ~
You had your pick and choice of girls,
What call had you to face
The little limping one that sat "a.
Beside the chimney place? -
D. girls enough they cried for you
The day you said good-bye;
And yet I'm thinking there's just on>.
Whose tears will never dry. ...
And girls enough wished we'll to you
The hour you turned away;
And yet I'm thinking just one prayer
Goes with you every day.
And if at last it aids you. lad,
You'll never guess it came
From just the little limping one
You never called by name.
-Theodosia Garrison.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
Her Sister
Susie
By Carl Jenkins

Copyright, 1s11, by Associated Literary
Press.)
Married for love! Married Just q
year! And here was young Mrs.
James Anderson driving over to the
town Of Dexter in the pony cart with
her sister Susie to file an application
for divorce! She had fed from her
home to that of her father and mother,
and both Of them had said there was
no other way out Of 1t except to secure
a divorce. The husband of a year
that would come home and swear at
his wife, would probably chop her up
with an ak the second year. Yes, Ron.
aid had come home and sworn and
kicked foot-stool skyhigh, and said
he wished he had never married. II
seemed dreadful to everyone but Susie.
AS for her, she asked of the weeping
wife and sister:
We'll, why didn't you swear back
and kick over two chairs? And why
did you run away before he had q
chance to say he was sorry, and make
up?"
Mr.. Anderson had been given q
whole month to come on Bonded
knees, and ask forgiveness, but he
hadn't appeared. 1t was even said by
those who met him daily that his
face wore smile. Until this smiling
business came to her ears, the wife
had not thought seriously of divorce
Then she was angry and ready tc
listen to the counsel of her parents
who had objected to the husband from
the outset of his courtship.
If had a husband" said Miss su
sic, as they drove along; IF 1 had q
husband with black eyes, and darling
mustache, and curly hair, and white
teeth, and small feet, do you think
would divorce him?'
Little you know about managing s
husband" was the contemptuous re
ply. 4.
Il don't have to. I'm going to lei
mine manage himself
"And swear at you?"
IF he wants to. can call hin
names faster than he can swear. DID
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
WeII.pressed American Men.

The best-dressed men are to be
found in New York, says a German
paper In an article c. the decadence
in male fashions, in which the writer
laments the fact that men of the pres.
ent day are content to be clothed
and no longer trouble about elegance
In dress.
Germans. this authority asserts,
don't look we'll in civilian dress, not
even the Emperor He sails danger
ously close to lese majestic by further
stating that the Kaiser wears his
trousers too short; that the Crown
Prince is too much Influenced by
French fashions and that the rest of
the royal family simply know moth
Ing about clothes.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
WISE AND PlTHY SAYINGS
Some Gems Of Thought From Mary
Cary and Others In "MIss
0ibbie Gauit."

A number of the pithy and some.
times humorous sayings Of the char
acters in Kate Langley Bosher's new
novel, Miss Gibbie Gault," have al
ready been published. Here are some
more bits from Mary Cary's lips and
those Of her new friends in Miss Glib
bic Gault":
Ancestor worship isn't all Chinese.
An ill-bred gentleman-born is still
welcomed> where an ill-born well-bred
man is not invited.
couldn't see dog hit his tail on
fence and not tell him it was barbed
II knew 1t and he didn't.
Major Allen didn't really believe
the Almighty made common people.
He thought they came up like weeds
and underbrueh and, though you
couldn't cut them down exactly, you
must keep them down somehow.
Young people have very different
ideas from their parents. They plank
themselves right straight alongside
of men and say they are just as smart
as men are. OF course they are.
Women have always known it, but
they used to have too much sense to
tell it.
often think of what my old man.
my told me the day was married:
Don't never forget, honey, that what
you's marryin' is a man." she said
land don't be expectin' of all the
heavenly virtues in him. They amt
thar"
There is nothing a man can stand
30 much of as praise. .
With only occasional exceptions a
woman has just about the kind of
husband she makes the man who mar.
ries her become.
Through the ages man has been
too sensible to wear petticoats and
pink ribbons himself but liking to
see them worn, he put them on WON.
an and told her she was pretty in
them.
An Irishman can talk a cabbage
into a rose any day. And when he's
got a rose to talk about his own
tongue couldn't tell what it might say
after it starts
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
o, You Suburban Llfel

She was riding home in the subur.
ban hack and her whole conversa-
ton had beel- in monotony Of the
country life in general and in Swarth.
more in particular.
Il think" she told the man opposite,
that shall have to do something
exciting just to stir things up-I mean
something real shocking"
DO" he smiled. encouragingly, "and
my wife will give bridge and ask
all the women who will be likely to
discuss It,"
And the air became cooler.-Phila-
delphia Times.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
For Real Fire Protection,

To place an elaborate standpipe
system in building is merely to be.
gin the work of fire protection. says
the Scientific American. To make It
effective, fire drills should be prac.
tised regularly. The hose should be
unwound, valves opened and water
actually turned on. Else, when the
fire breaks out, valves will stick and
hose rotted through by disuse. will
burst. Under such conditions, the fin.
est standpipe system is nothing more
than q delusion and a snare.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
Inviting TemptatIon.

Many people plan for defeat Ike
the boy whose mother told him that
he could not go to the river, nor
swimming, but he did. When he re-
turned and his mother saw the signs,
he confessed that he was tempted
and went with the boys. She noticed
that his coat bulged out Putting her
hand in she pulled out his bathing
suit. When confronted with 1t he
said, ~ was afraid that I might be
tempted when got there, 80 took
these along" Some people expect
to fall, and plan for It.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
Fla Tree That Doesn't Flourish,

Despite the severe frost at the be.
ginning of April, which adversely az
fected such lot Of vegetation, the fig
tree (perhaps the most familiar speci,
men in London) behind the statue of
Charles James Fox. in the garden Of
Bloomsbury Square, is showing crop
quite up to the average. The figs will,
as usual, drop off at the immature
stage at the end Of July. This tree
is about century old. and It is said
that not solitary fig is ever bore has
been known to ripen.-London Chrou.
icl0.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
Saving Eyes of Explorers.

Prof. ]. Won Kowalski, in letter to
Nature (London), describes his obser-
vations of the spectra Of sunlight re-
flected by snowfields in Switzerland.
He finds that the ultraviolet rays are
reflected by snow almost in their en-
tirety. This fact helps to explain the
trying effects of such light upon the
eyes and suggests the advisability Of
wearing, during period Of snow and
sunshine, glasses that are Opaque to
the ultraviolet rays.
The Irish standard., 1911-07-01
THE IRISH STANDARD, SATURDAY, JULY 1, 1911.

part OF the ROAD. you Know how the
pony is about autos. If we don't have
smash-up I'll miss my guess. Here
he comes. Don't do any screaming or
jumping out. If he's gentleman he'll
come to our help. My stars. Kitty,
who do you think 1t is?"
"Who?"
"Sure's you.live it's Ronald. Where's
my handkerchief? L want to wave
10 him." m
Susie, I forbid you to wave!"
But I'm already waving!"
Think of my position!"
"And think Of his! I'll bet dollar
he's riding out in hopes to catch sight
Of you. Whoa, you idiot of a pony!"
Susie, l must get out and run
through the woods!" exclaimed Mrs.
Anderson.
"Wait! Wait! Well both get out,
but there'M be no running. Howdy
do, Ronald! Yes, take him by tho
head. He's fool OF pony about
autos. Nice day. This is Kitty, your
wife. She wants to sit down on that
log with you and have a talk. The
pony will stand now, and I'll gather
some of those wild plum blossoms"
Man and wife stood looking at each
other in the greatest embarrassment
tor moment. when Miss Susie spoke
again.
Right up there on that log. The
highway commissioner left it on pur.
pose for tired people to sit down on.
And don't you sit too far apart either,
or l shall come and crowd in between
you. Hike along now"
Rather queer that we should meet
this way, Mrs. Anderson" said the
husband as they got seated.
Eyes, Mr.. Anderson, it is," was the
formal reply. SEE
II didn't know but what you had
your divorce by this time"
IL was Just on my way to town"
ITO file your application. see."
"Father and mother said-said-"
'Look here, you two" interrupted
Miss Susie as she came up switching
a branch of the blossom, you want
to cut pa and ma out of this thing
and get down to business. Ronald,
did you swear at Kitty"
mo, not at her. I'd been to the
Doctors, and he had told me that
the itching. aching thing on my neck
would probably develop into a car.
buncle 1t was the doctor l was swear.
ing att" 7%
But you kicked footstool."
THAT was because there was no
dog to kick" at
But you said you wished you had
never got married"
Because l knew that a carbuncle
on my neck would make me cranky
for month, and pitied Kitty"
But you didn't come and say you
was sorry" n
Il was just on my way today"
There you are, sister Kitty, and
there you are" said Miss Susie. ut
was case of misunderstanding all
the way through, Ronald. If you ever
swear at doctors in her hearing again
she can smash dishes. can't she?"
ITO be sure" Z" Il H'f'''
"And, Kitty" "r
Miss Susie had turned her back to
the pair. She heard suspicious sounds
behind her, but she held her position
&c. two minutes. Then she faced them
| and said:
You two go home in the auto, and
I'll jog back with the pony. Pa and
ma will want to know all about It, and
I'll just say that If there are any more
! idiots in Our family they sit at the
head and foot of the table at meal
times