The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1911-03-10
THE THINKING
GERMAN
By SARAH BAXTER
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation, 1911

not content with the occupation house
keeping alone gave me, decided to go
into the business of raising squads for
market. Having ample room in my
back yard, erected dovecotes there
and put in dozen pairs Of pigeons
About the time began to think Of sell
ing my surplus on counting my young
birds missed several of them. There
was leak somewhere.
Behind our place, facing on another
road, was Il shanty in which lived a
German cobbler named Hans Schrei-
Der. One night, hearing noise in my
back yard, went out with dark
lantern and flashed it on Schneider get
ting over the back fence. He was
warned that the next time he was
caught in our yard he would be prose
cuted under the law. He put on
great deal of injured innocence. but
continued to steal my squads. Finally
| caught him again. had him arrested
and the next morning appeared against
him in court
"Jutch.' he said to the court, assum-
ing the expression of a martyr, II leaf
it to you wedder poor man like me
can affort to eat squap. How woult
| know I like squap If don't know
how dey taste. got to puy em first,
hafn't |, to know wedder like emf
THAT'S very ingenious argument,
Hans" said the prosecutor, taking up
the case, "but 1t won't work Did you
never taste any kind of game-duck,
quail. snipe?'
"Neffer Do you take me for shen-
tleman"
you've eaten young chickens,
haven't your
"Proilers! You think | can affort to
eat proilers? All t. proilers go into
t. houses of shentemen like you Pc
sites, ven t proilers are two years
olt | don like EN-"
"How can broiler be two years
old?" asked the prosecutor. II should
consider chicken two years old a
pretty aged bird"
"a proller not pc two years oft!
HIN! Yo' go to t. colt storage house
Yo fnt em tree, four, fife years olt'
Were not trying the cold storage
men," said the prosecutor, Were
trying you. Hans Schneider, for steal
ing Mrs. Perkins squads. What did
you eat for breakfast this morning%
Sausage"
Anything else?"
HPraot ind noffnaO
"Are you sure you didn't eat squab"
Sure"
Hans, did you ever hear Of Herr
Roentgen?"
mo"
"He discovered process by which
one may look inside the body and see
what's there"
Hans looked uneasy.
Nov I'm going" continued the pros
ecutor, ito use one of these machines
to look inside your stomach, and If ]
find squad there his honor will send
you up for long term. If you will
confess I'll ask him to let you off with
small fine-just enough to pay for
the birds you have stolen. Now, will
you submit to the test or confess"
"Vat is t. principle of t. machine?
asked Schneider.
The lawyer was bit staggered.
"The principle is that peculiar light
called the Roentgen ray Eliminates a
mans inside md shows what is there"
The prisoner thought awhile, then
said:
~ like t. see how dat is done. You
show me vat you hat for breakfast dis
morning, und tell you what do"
"Come, come" said the lawyer stern
~, "enough of this. Send for the
machine"
He whispered to an attendant to go
to an optician near by and bring a
certain instrument he designated.
When it arrived the German looked at
it with much interest 1t consisted Of
two brass cylinders, with glasses at
each end, mounted on an upright
Nov, Hans" said the attorney, be
fore applying the test I'll give you one
more chance. VIII you confessT
Hans hesitated. The instinct Of in
vestigation indigenous with his race
struggled with his fear Of detection
: At last he said
) eff you flint the squap in my stom'
ach how long for go to shalt?
The lawyer looked at the judge, who
was watching this new method of trial
much amused.
Thirty days." said his honor.
81 risk it." said Hans. Look into
my stomach"
81 withdraw the charge" said
coming to the lawyers rescue.
"The charge is withdrawn" said the
, Judge, struggling to repress laughter
"Prisoner, if another such charge /!
made against you and you are proved
guilty I'll send you up for six months
81 wants to see," said the prisoner
wat vent truh my stomach dis morn
ing"
THAT'S not necessary now" sail
the prosecutor, "since the charge ha
been withdrawn and his honor has dis
< missed the case"
"Jutch," persisted Hans, 81 wants t
, know if the machine can do the Won
q derful things the shentleman says
T. can do. I'm realty to go to shall t
q find that Duet"
: The judge winked at the prosecutor
e who placed the tubes against the Ger
g mans stomach and, after pretending
+ to look into it. said to the judge.
j "Since the case has been dismissed
b your honor, will say that SQUAD
: plainly visible in the mans stomach
e "Haw, haw" laughed Hans. 'Do
+ machine is no goot didn't eat squa
Q this morning. eat a shicken vot
took from anudder voman's henroost.
= The Auoer Fish.