The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-10-06
HIS FASTTDIOUS FIANCE
By LOUIS CARL STEIN


I'm not al all romantic, but | want
something different from just calling
in the minister"
But how am ! going 10 nx for a
balloon?" he asked.
Il don't know, but that's what you1l
have 20 do No balloon. no marriage"
Moses went riding through all the
villages for twenty miles around ask
ing questions about balloons, and IL
was two weeks before he returned TO
the widow 10 say:
I'm willing 10 obleege. but We can't
get no balloon here short OF a thou
sand dollars, and mebbe not for that.
Even n We could, no preacher would
go up to marry u.s."
Well Moses. / don't want 20 seem
overparticular. replied the woman
after a little thought If We can't be
married up In a balloon how about
down in a coal miner"
THAT might do. II can nnd one"
Moses went inquiring again. and by
and by ascertained that the nearest
coal mine was $50 miles away. and a
very wet place at that. Besides. a
minister told him that he wouldn't
descend into a coal mine and marry a
couple for less than hundred dollars.
When the widow Durham had been in
formed OF how the matter stood she
replied:
II had rather set my heart on IL.
but have always been a woman TO
sacrifice Why can't we be married in
circus ring before all the peopleT'
why, / never heard Of such a
thing! We'd be almost took for
couple OF camels or something! No,
no."
Moses. we must be married in a
circus ring or not at all"
Moses made his rounds again. It
was now September, and no circus
could be expected within ten miles OF
the village until the next summer.
When he spoke TO his minister about
performing the ceremony the good
man exclaimed:
"No-never! I should be put on
trial for doing such thing!"
"You don't seem to be a man OF
much energy" remarked the widow
when she had heard his third excuse
Il guess We had better drop the mat
ter"
Moses begged for another chance
and after taking three days to con
slider 1t the woman said:
We'll, perhaps I'm a little too par
| ticular TO want balloons and coai
mines and so I'll be content with
flying machine. You can surely gel
one OF those. I read in the papers
every day Of their carrying passen
gers at the rate Of a mile a minute
Why can't we be married at the rate
of mile minute?"
Lands. woman, it would cost every
dollar we are both worth!" groaned
Moses. "And If we got a machine and
went up it would be the preacher
again. We couldn't hire one to 60
with us. Preachers amt taking
chances. l don't see why we cant
go to a preachers house or have one
come here"
I'VE must look at the sentiment oi
the thing. It's for a woman to have
her way about such things. Moses, is
there a tall tree anywhere around
here?"
Yes, there's a big elm about
mile beyond the bridge"
Can you build a platform in the
top and then run ladders up?
Lands, but do you want to be mar
ried in a tree-top!"
81 do. You have disappointed me
about the other things, but you mustn't
about this.
Moses went out to survey the tree
at close range. and to talk to carpen'
ters and the ministers. The carpen'
ters said It could be done, but when
the minister was approached he re-
piled with a shiver:
What? Climb a tree TO marry a
couple! You can have little respect
for the cloth to propose such a thing.
The good man consented, however
to call on the widow as a mediator
and he did call, and after arguments
| lasting two hours a compromise was
effected. The marriage was to take
place from a platform on top of
haystack, and two weeks later it came
! off with the whole village as spec
tators. Later on, when the bride was
asked why she was so bent on the
unusual she smiled and replied:
why, / suppose was put out to
think had been a widow for eight
years before any man asked me to
marry him!"