The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-03-26

ee n est pas vrai
 The voice came from the little sit ting room of "The Spinter.'' all golden moons entangled in branches of crab apple blossoms
 She had been telling The Major in her very worst French that it was absolutely untrue every word that he uttered and The Major in turn, with French that would startle even a Fiji islander vociferated loudly against her.
 .Is is not true that you didn't un- derstand a word of what "The Divine Sarah" said on Thursday evening in her wonderful portrayal of La Dame Aux Camelias.' and you know it,. The Spinster insisted.
 Tn my youth" declared The Major for the 'steenth time, "I reiterate that I learned French or I thought that I learned it, but now in the seer and yell low leaf I learn that I didn't learn IL at all.'
 T have always acknowledged to a mere drawing room acquaintance with that prettiest ol all languages" said The Spinster as she handed from the dainty tea table tiny, little Satsuma cup and saucer to The Major, from which a de- lightful aroma penetrated the room, ''in fact my French vocabulary has been confined to those delectable phrases on menu cards between the consomme' and the demi tasse,' with a mea ger sprinkling of 'Parlez vous Franchises, and Ca va sans dires,' and 'Je ne sais quois' and other equally bromidic ex- pressions."
 If it is difficult to learn to speak French without an accent" replied The Major, "it is much more difficult to understand it without break. I have read in my time many of the works in the original of Balzac Hugo, Dumas Pere and Fills. have read lots of what Bernard Shaw calls r-dov- dle ism, as well as the dramas of Scribe, La biche, Augier and the rest. I have read numbers of opera librettos by Halevy and Meilhae and yet to my shame, mad emoiselle, remembers this is an honest confession-"
 (Which may be very good for the soul, but mighty bad for the reputa- tion." interrupted The Spinster.
 And yet, yet" drawled the Major as he slipped his tea, T am going to confess to you that I went to see Bern hardt Thursday evening, and be it said to my shame, did not understand more than a third that was said. wonder if the average individual who was there would be so bold as to tell his real name as I have done?"
 "Ordinarly truthful persons" replied The Spinster, tell the most astounding legends concerning their knowledge of the French language Gray-haired mothers and fathers who dawdled over their Ollendorf, half a century ago, proudly asserted before the Bernhardt engagement that
 Their French was a bit rusty,- But
 well. their daughters would know, and the daughters being relied upon to comprehend every spoken word of the great actress, declared that Although we bored over Fasquelle l for years we are not so well up on French,
 "'But--'
 l And still a younger generation which is now dallying over French says blithely when consulted on the subject:
 | "'Oh! of course, we finished ouI French last year with Madame Unatelle and we understod most of what Bern- hardt said "'But-'
 "But, but but. Mais, Mais, Mais, all ways Butt"
 Tn that impassioned scene in the second act of Camille," said The Major I"I wonder how many in the audience understood the great actress when after Armand has left Marguerite after telling her of his love, she says:
 "Qui m'eut dit, il a huit jours que cet homme, don't je ne soupconnais pas Persistence occuperait ce point ct si vite, mon cosur ct ma penseeT' Probably am wrong and most people cid understand" continued The Major Perhaps I was the only person who didn't understand, or maybe I am more frank than the other 800. I, Of course. do not mean that I didn't understand a single word that was said. That is not my meaning l understand a large part of what Bernhardt said when she spoke slowly and sounded the mute e's. When she spoke rapidly I understood about half When she went off at tangent like an alarm clock, which she frequent | ly did-I understood nothing at all. | grasped quite a bit of what Armand said he was much more sane in his French co livery. When he grew impassioned and wild in his love scenes, of course. missed about half again. Duval, pere | was absolutely indistinct. while Nanlne l and Madame Prudence sounded like 'sYiddish" or ''volapuk"-they initiated Eernhardt SO badly in her alarm-cIocl delivery.
 "The dialoes that went on around me. : | The Major related, sardonicaly, 'wer, | side-splitting, and showed me that l was the really deficient one, while my ncigEbors were entirely at ease. For in. stance, just back of me heard this frag. ment:
 "He: You understand it pretty well don't your
 "she: Of course undestand per