davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-18
Hard at Work.

Maudie had been sent, an unwilling
victim, to her piano practice. Pres
emily all sound of the music ceased.
and the little was discovered with idle
hands, looking longingly, wistfully out
at the brilliant summer sunshine and
waving grass.
"Maudie, dear" reproved mamma
gently, 81 thought you were told to
practice"
81 am practicing," was Maudle's In
slant explanation. "I'm practicing the
rests."-Chicago News.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-18
Notice, Final Discharge.

This is to notify all persons that I
will apply to the Hon: Geo. S. Drafts.
Judge of Probate for Lexington coun-
ty, South Carolina, on the 30th day of
October, 1911, for a final discharge as
executors of the estate OF D. n. Shnll,
deceased.
W. L. & E. W. Shull,
81 Executors.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-18
Town Registration Notice.

Lexington, S. c., July %, 1911.
Books for Town Registration now
open at my place of business. All
persons who intend to vote in the
coming Town election to be held on
November End. 1911, will have to reg
ister. Books will close October %, 49,
II.
II. N. HAMMER,
so Supervisor Of Registration.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-18

Unhandieapping Her Imagination.
Maud-Why does Kate take off her
wedding ring whenever she sits down
to read q novel?
>Ethel-Because she enjoys reading
one better if she can temporarily for
get that she's married-Boston Tran
script.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-18
Cleaning, Pressing
and DYeinQ

The Lexington Pressing Club Il
ready to do your fall cleaning, press
ing, dyeing, etc. We have a compe-
tent force and all work promptly and
neatly done. Let US fix up that old
last years suit foryou. We make
a specially Of this class of work.
Lexington Pressing Club.
Lem Sox, Manager.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-18
Mark Twain on Advertising.

Whom Mark Twain in his early
days was editor OF = Missouri paper,
a supsrstitious subscriber wrote to
him saying that he found . spider Ia
his paper and asked II 1t was sign
Of good or bad luck The humorist
wrote his answer and printed it.:
"Old Subscriber-Finding spider in
your paper is neither good Dor bad
luck. The spider was merely looking
over your paper to SEQ which mer-
chant ts not advertising. 80 he will
know where the ether spiders have
rot their webs up"
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-18
The Wise Patient.

The Wise Patient.
"The doctor asked ME If l ate much
meat. I sidestepped the question:
"You should have told him the truth
about your diet"
"Aw, he was just trying to lind out
If I'm ealthy."-Pittsburg Post.
Bring your cotton to Lexington and
get the highest prices.
Get premium list and prepare your
exhibits for the Lexington county fair.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-18

Deserving and Getting.
Only the brave deserve the
fair, but the rich are more like
ly to get the fair to say yes
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23
JAYHAWKER JOTS

AS VIII Palmer points out: The
farmer has to fight chinch bugs, potato
bugs and humbugs.
Taking exception to the assertion Of
the Lawrence Journal-World that
Carrie Nation STRUCK at the psyche
logical moment" Charlie Blakesley
says the general impression was that
she struck at the bar fixtures.
The experienced Tom Thompson has
Inquired 1t out that any woman can get
along with her husband if she will
refrain from criticising, pour taffy into
him, and brag on him to some one she
knows will go right and tell him.
The prettiest fish in the world are to
be found on the back of the summer
resort advertisements. tt e biggest
mosquitoes are also to be found at the
same resort although they are not
shown in the picture of the fish.-Otta-
wa Herald.
chew, or swear, or belong to any clubs,
needn't think he has all the qualifica-
lions for an ideal husband, remarks
the Leavenworth Post. He must be
able to Immediately notice and remark
about any slight change in his wife's
style Of dressing her hair or in the cut
of her gown.
Something real in the way of a wom-
an baseball fan lives in Ell Dorado as
the following item in the Walnut Val
ley Times indicates: MY, my. my! I
wonder if he tore his cIothes?" ex-
claimed an Ell Dorado woman as one
of the Ell Dorado ball team made
desperate slide for his base, and was
declared safe. "If he did I'll mend
them or I'll buy him a new suit" And
she meant every word of it.
Here is one on the young folks who
have been down at Clearbrook camp
trying to catch fish for a week or two,
without getting enough to grease the
skillet" relates the Oskaloosa Inde-
pendent. Grandma Wise, SO years old
last April, was driven out to see the
camp and watch the girls fish Tuesday
morning 1t wasn't long, however,
until the old days came back and
Grandma" grabbed a pole and line
and went to fishing on her own ac-
count. And listen! In no time at all
the good old lady had landed a two
pound catfish high and dry. Weighed
every ounce of it. The cat was brought
to town in triumph by Mrs. Wise's
daughter, Mrs. Tedrick, while the old
lady baited her hook and went at it
again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23
He Stopped the Leak.

To the crowds in the street it was
a laughing matter, but to Joseph Levy,
who stood for an hour on ladder out
side his furniture store, at 1926 Eighth
avenue, holding his hands over a brok-
en- gas pipe to check the flow of gas it
was an evidence of genius and strictly
a matter of business
Mr.. Levy was seated at his desk
closing his books for the month of
May, when he heard an awful crash
outside. Looking up his eyes fell upon
his gas meter and the dial was whirl-
ing around like a windmill in a storm.
Running to the front door he found a
group of excited men standing around
what was once piano. 1t looked like
a boisterous case of eviction from one
Of the top floors.
Fact is, Morris Roache, a piano
mover, of 40 East 165th street, with
his gentle helpers, had started to lower
Mrs. Elizabeth F'itzpatrick's piano from
the third floor. For the operation a
rope had been fastened around chin
ney atop the five-story building. The
chimney took a tumble and the piano
fell 80 feet, ending its high and lofty
act in much the same style as the
finale of a Wagnerian overture.
The workmen got out of harms way
but the gas archlight on Mr.. Levy
store was not SO fortunate. It was
smashed into snnithereens and gas
poured out of the broken pipe at the
rate OF many Genus the minute MI
Levy did not stop to censure the work
men for being careless or waste word
of coincidence on the weeping Mrs.
Fitzpatrick, but turned on his heel and
made for the rear of his store. He re-
turned with a ladder, which he ran
up alongside the escaping gas. He held
first one hand and then the other over
the pipe and was pale with anger,
fatigued from suspense, and almost
Iasphyxiated when the gas comRany's
emergency wagon, arrived an hour
Ia ter New York Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23
ON AGE OUT or FASHION.


Careful studies and measurements
have shown that our time of actual
maturity and arrest of growth in phys
zeal characters, such as height, weight
and chest girth, is much later than
formerly supposed" writes DR.. Woods
Hutchinson in an article in the July
Hampton's Magazine. Instead Of
reaching, as was at one time confident
" stated. our full height at IS. our
full strength at 23 and our full chest
girth at Is, as matter Of fact we
continue to increase slowly, it is true,
in all these respects until s5. SO and
even 40 years of age.
"By living a hea1thful, active. happy
life and keeping up all our interests,
we can grow and develop and adjust
ourselves and feel that we are grow
ing until we are one day suddenly
dead without ever realizing in any
distressing or painful way that we are
growing old at ALL
ALREADY old age has gone quite out
Of fashion. The civilized, educated
man or woman Of 20 is younger than
the savage of 40 or the peasant Of 50.
What with steady spread of regular
vocations and country or suburban
homes ana Walking C4uDs anu SoiA anu
gardens and automoblling and travel
OF ali sorts. those who would have been
considered old once are now only 20
or rs years young.
mot only is there no definite period
in adult or later life when these So
called senile changes begin, but there
is no period at which they become ac-
CELEBRATED or start to progress at
more rapid rate than before. In fact,
the extraordinary paradox exists. that
what We term old age is the time Of
life in which We are growing old least
rapidly. The only thing that makes
it appear otherwise is that We have
been steadily growing old all our lives
long and the thousand imperceptible
accommodations have mounted to a pitch
which we can recognize"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23

trains and saw to it that they left the
city. The fines against them are held
in allegiance in case they return.
This may be a convenient way for
the authorities of a community to
handle such cases. But that is All
there is to recommend 1t. There is
nothing Of right or justice about it.
Surely it is no punishment to an Of
fender Of any sort to put him on q
train and tell him to make his pres
ence scarce. Furthermore it is a fraud
against whatever community such
misdemeanant decides to settle in for
a long or short stay. As a matter OF
fact it is littla less than an outrage.
Because such a practice Is common
with most communities and has been
the custom for many years is no ex-
cuse for it. And the time has long
since passed when it should have been
stopped.
One of the penalties. as well as one
Of the duties of a community in
the development and maintenance
Of a decent civilization is the prop
er care and treatment of its un-
desirable and offending citizens It
is duty that each locality should
shoulder for itself regardless of the ex-
pense involved. But it would be no
more expensive in the long run for
each community to take care of its
own petty offenders than it is for each
city and town to care temporarily or
for a longer time for similar class of
people who have been shipped to it
from other communities.
Perhaps the most reprehensible feat
ure Of this system is that it is in no
way a corrective one for the unfortu-
mates who are banded by it from
pillar to post. Rather does it en-
courage them to continue in their evil
and harmful ways. These opium smok-
ers who were sent away from Topeka
will set up a den in their next stopping
place and will indulge in their old
habits until the den is located by the
police. Then they will he driven on to
some other place Just as they hurried
out Of Topeka. A month or more in
Jail would undoubtedly have a saiutary
effect on them in more ways than one.
They might be broken of their habits.
That would be a gain for society.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23

Amateur nature takers had a great
time on the pier of the United Fruit
company's steamship line gloating over
the strange creature brought to this
city from South America by E. N.
Squires, purser Of the steamship "a
capa, which locked Thursday night
Most of those who inspected Squires
pet, which looks like a beaver covered
with brilliant red and green plum
age, agreed that it was neither fish,
flesh, fowl, nor good red herring"
That it is the missing link between
the quadruped and pathological
species was the opinion of many, an
opinion Squires will have tested by any
geological society or experts eager to
get a peep at his find.
The nameleSs animal, which was
taken to the purser's home in New
Jersey In a cage kept heated at a
tropical temperature, was captured in
the mountains near Santa Marta. at
a point where the fruit company's ex-
cursionists usually picnic when their
ship is unloading cargo. Squires
stumbled on the creature as it lay
asleep under bush and seized it be-
fore it could escap pc. It is four-footed
and resembles a cross between a beav-
er and a badger. The remarkable
part of the animal is the featherlike
growth of brilliant red and green,
shading to white on the under parts.
that covers its entire body. It is
about 20 inches long and 10 high, and
enits a high, plaintive sound If dis
turbed.-NeW York Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23
PoINTED PARAGRAPHs.
[From the chicago Nems.l

LFrom the Chicago NeWs.]
The sooner you sidetrack bad Job
the better
Many a mans bluff isn't called until
he gets married.
There's no question about tears be-
ing the crying need of humanity.
The lazy man is the first to claim
that he never had an opportunity
It is better to owe some people a
grudge than to have them owe you
money.
Misery loves company-if the COM
pany will listen to its hard luck
stories
When woman is color blind she is
apt to get more on one cheek than the
other.
Sometimes it is better to wait until
the bridge is finished than to attempt
to swim across.
man never knows much until he
is three score and ten and then he
hasn't much use for knowledge.
When a man gets a vacation his wife
IS unable to understand why he doesn' t
want to spend it among her relatives.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23
QUAKER MEDITATIoNs.

EFrom the Philadelphia Record
Many rich girls face is her mis-
fortune.
stuffy quarters-The taxdermist's
workshop.
There is no one so tickle as the hero
worshipers.
Any man who shaves himself is apt
to cut his best friend
There isn't anything much more Of
a misnomer than comic postcard.
You don't have to step on banana
skin to be thrown on your own re-
sources.
The fellow who gets a reputation as
being "a ladies' man" is seldom any
thing else.
When you can see through a man
It doesn't necessarily mean that he has
a clear conscience.
Some fellows feel that they are be-
ing badly treated unless they are being
treated about every Is minutes.
ct just love Holsters" cried the
chorus girl "Goodi" exclaimed the
stage-door Johnny. Everybody says
Pm a lobster
Hoax-Coal is a paradox Joax=
III be the goat. What's the answer
Hoax-It goes to the buyer. and yet II
goes to the cellar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23
PASSING UNDEsIRABLEs ON.

Public authorities in Topeka have Of
Tended again. They have imposed once
more on other nearby or distant local
tiles by shipping out of the city an
other bunch Of undesirables. This
time it is a varied assortment of
opium smokers. And there are no less
than ten of them. They were gathered
IN during the past few days in two or
three raids on dens maintained and in
tested by them. Fines of from $40 to
$50 were assessed against each Of them.
That would have meant as many days
IL Jail for most Of these degenerates as
they would probably have been unable
to raise the price Of their fines. But
tie only punishment that has been
meted out to them was a request that
they get out of town. Not only that
but the police escorted them to the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23

slow for me. Maybe she win help me
to start over"
uni" Marshall unused. absently.
''She was the snub-nosed kind with the
big mouth, Ell p
Thompson seemed astonished to find
that the chief clerk knew anything
about her. He looked up quickly to
see Marshall drumming fingers on the
table. with lips pursed thoughtfully.
TITS bad business, Ben" Marshall
ter than any common THIEF that skulks
the streets unwashed. A stone cell,
prison barber and stripes are right
fully yours because you have earned
them"
The boy trembled but offered no
protest. The chief clerk continued
quietly.
But believe your talk about back
ing up. For your mothers sake and in
the name of the plain girl I'm going to
lend you money to make up. Now,
son." Marshall crossed over beside the
breaking down boy and lsid a hand on
his shoulder softly, we've been fools;
but Wen work hard to wipe it out.
Well back up, as you say; and then
we'Il stay backed up, beside truth,
honesty and the good plain people"
Marshall went back 10 the table,
where the picture of his mother faced
him. Picking up the half-dnished let
ter he destroyed it and threw the
pieces into a waste basket. Then he
turned to usher out his subordinate,
who was trying to stammer some
heartfelt humble thanks.
'sGet down to the Office early tomor-
row morning, Thompson" Marshall
requested. TELL Mr.. Mason that
took train. for Greenvilie this even
ing to spend my vacation. Tell him
Marshall chuckled to relieve the ten
sion-''tell him if you want that was
in hurry to help with the August
crop of daisies. He won't know the
difference. Copyright, 1911, by As
ISOLATED Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23

That important chicken. the direct
election OF United states senators, ap-
pears 10 have been counted before it
was thoroughly Matched. When the
resolution to this end went through
the United States senate by a vote Of
two to one there was such rejoicing
that this great reform was practically
defeated for a not far distant future.
Almost everybody had an idea that
ratification of the resolution by the
several states was the only step needed.
II seemed to be taken for granted that
the house would readily concur in the
Bristow amendmen. giving the federal
government control OF the senatorial
elections. But that is lust what the
house did not do. It swatted this
amendment In certain fashion. Now
the resolution goes to a conference
with the chances. good that the rival
branches of congress VIII get in a
deadlock on the resolution that win
mean its death for this session. And
the Bristow amendment caused all the
trouble. Verify do the Republican in
Htrrsnts seem to have developed the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23
GLOBE SIGHTS.


LFrom the Atchfson Globe.1
After all, the screen is about the
greatest invention of the age.
There are so many different opinions
that none Of them amounts to much.
1t sometimes happens that the faith
full dog overestimates the value Of
faith.
After, she excitement Is over. it so
often develops thar there WAS no occa-
sion for 1t.
There are various kinds OF DISCUSSES;
some men could put over Il good one
by cleaning up.
Girls seem to forget that a good
dressmaker is better paid than the av-
erage piano. player.
Fasting might not be so bad, but we
would hate to be starved to death on
lettuce sandwiches.
Getting a proper line on ones own
Importance is a pretty sure preventive
Of that sIighted feeling.
You may have observed that the man
who tries to go the limit is usually
travelling down grade.
A delivery horse which can handle
that job and still feel like running
away, has too much energy.
+ That man who insists on wearing his
shirt unbuttoned at the neck: why
doesn't he try a larger shirt?
Nothing makes a woman, who really
has nothing to do, quite so mad as
to tell her she has nothing to do.
Those who stay too long usually out
number the accommodating minority
who fail to accept the invitations
s 1t must pain an Indian to gather a
college education and find out he is still
expected to work for a living.
1t is sometimes difficult to see the
bright side, and having it shown to one
doesn't always help a great deal.
/ The man behind the gun has receiv-
49, ~ IN
one In front OF it who really needs SYM
pathy.
One can get some. line on a mothers
fund of common sense by the age when
her daughters begin taking on store
hair.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Not a few people get the bouquets
that should properly go to others.
A mans worth is not necessarily
measured by the dimensions of his
bank roll.
Perhaps brothers don't get along
better together because they are so
we'll acquainted with each other.
& y
Nor has the drouth been without
certain large advantages to the city
man. 1t has made much lawn moving
unnecessary.
s.
June weddings would be more popu-
lar with the people not actively par
ticipating with them were it not for
the bridal gifts that are expected.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23
HUNOR OF THE D<Y

Whistle calls himself a human dyna-
mo- Gillts-NO wonder; everything he has
on is charged.-Judge.
Mr.. Newcomer-Does keeping boarders
pay? Mrs. Hashleigh-It doesn't pay IN
less they do.-Boston Transcript.
Hes getting on in the world" Eyes.
indeed. He's rich enough now SO that he
can hire a man to do his amateur garden
ing for him "-Chicago Post.
stella-Men are queer. Bella-Yes; they
are delighted when you forget how to
swim, and mad when you forget how
baseball is played.-New York Sun.
Employer-We want diplomatic, tact
full, smart office boy. Boy-WelI, I used
to send sisters beau away when she didn't
want to see him--Chicago News.
Marks-I married my wife month at
ter she accepted me. Parks-That's moth
ing. I married mine three days after she
refused me.-Boston Transcript.
Cook-How do you get out of it when
the misses scolds you for not answering
the bell? Waitress-T always tell her
was making mayonnaise.-Harper's Ba-
EAR
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-23
TALE oF TWO NrEN.


A young man sighed. ALAS, alack,
There is no chance for mel
Good fortune is not on my track
I'm sure I cannot see
Just why in this same rut I've stuck,
Or why it should befau
That some folks have so much good luck
While I have none at air.
But as he pondered with a frown,
saw he did listing down.
Another said, I'm doing fine,
And worryss far away,
For there is something in my line
To do on any day.
I have the best of luck, you bet,
And in the worldly race
find no reason to forget
I've won a first-class placer
But as he told his story, oh.
had to hsten-on the go!
I turned away. and pondered there
On what the two men said,
knew that one was In despair
And one with pleasure sped;
knew the same world held the two,
Good luck to both seemed bright;
But while one met and kept luck true,
The other missed it quite.
And so I said. ''I do not doubt
He meets his luck who hunts it outf'
Chicago News.