The new era., 1911-11-16
WAS GLAD HE CAME
MAN WITH BLOOD IN EYE INTER
ESTED LAWYER.
eeIIlgerent One Came as an Accept
able Diversion to Monotony and
Dreary Grind In Life Of This
Disciple Of Blackstone.

81 have come" said the large man
who had entered the law office anu
bolted the door after MIN, ITO give
you the worst whipping you ever had
in your life. I've just served three
months In jail and you sent me there,
and I'm going to make soup bones
of you If swing for It,"
Have you considered the conse-
quences, my friend?" asked the small
pallid lawyer, as he put down the
large book he had been reading. You
shouldn't undertake contract OF
such a character without being ia
miliar with all the legal phases OF
the matter. In an action for assault
and battery, such as would certainly
be brought against you, malice afore
thought would be easily shown.
Where an assault occurs under stress
of great excitement or proyocatlon,
judges and juries regard the defend
ant leniently, but where the attack
has been deliberately planned, as IN
this case, and where threats OF e1-
treme bodily violence have been ut
tered, the verdict Is bound to be Sc
we're. am trying to present the case
to you in non-technical terms, purely
for your own good"
Lots you care about my own
good" grumbled the belligerent Wis
itor. II don't want any Of your ad-
vice. am going to smash you the
best 1 know how, SO come from be-
hind that desk"
Have you considered" asked the
lawyer, that when inficting punish
ment upon me you are liable to sus-
tain severe injuries yourself? Not
that l would resist, for that would be
hopeless. But the human head Is
largely composed of bone and the
fist that hits it is apt to be broken
You surely have read of the numerous
prizefghters who have broken their
arms in the ring? II prizefghter
sustains such injuries, what can an
ordinary citizen hope for?
Moreover, my head is unusually
bony and many of the bones are
angular, and l feel sure that you
would break your wrist or some OF
your fingers, at least. There was an
interesting case chronicled in the
Southeastern Law Reporter a few
weeks ago. A citizen whose name
have forgotten assaulted his family
attorney and broke his arm. He was
sent to the penitentiary for the as
sault and his arm had to be ampu-
tated. Think of spending years in
the penitentiary minus an arm!"
I'm willing to take the chances
Here goes"
When the visitor recovered his
faculties he was curled up on the
floor and the lawyer was seated upon
his bosom, holding piece Of lead
pipe in one hand.
1.-THE next time you contemplate an
attack upon learned and eloquent
attorney" said the lawyer, "be sure
to commit the assault first and dis
cuss your grievances afterward. 1
knew had this length of lead pipe
somewhere in my desk, but couldn't
remember in which drawer l had
placed it. However, you gave me
plenty of time to find 1t, and here we
are, having an excellent, comfortable
time, and merry men are wee l can't
tell you how glad l am that you came
up TO see me. The chief drawback Of
a lawyers life is the intolerable mo-
notony Think, my dear sir. Of the
dreary round of duties which make
up his existence!"
LET me up" begged the formerly
belligerent visitor. I've had enough" "
Cali in good season, my friend. So
many hours day in his dingy Of
feel So many hours in the sepul'
chral courtroom! That is the story
of the lawyers day. He loses track
of human emotions. human passions,
human ambitions, save as he encoun-
| ters them in dreary books. None but
a lawyer can understand what bless
| ing it is to see man come in, as you
came in, looking for trouble! You
have renewed my youth! You have
made me man again, when was
becoming machine! Rise up, Will
liam Riley, or whatever your name is,
and kindly permit me to kick you all
the way down stairs!"