davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

In the celebrated "Fravailes" of Ed
ward Webb $500 IRE dozens OF stories
that would make Munchausen turn
green with envy. One Of the most ceie-
brated of these Ia bis story of the wild
men Of Prester John, which Is as toi-
lows:
'In the court of prester John there ~
a wilde man and another In the high
street of Constantinople whose allow
ance is every day a quarter OF ra"
mutton, and when any man dyeth TOT
some notorious offence then they are
allowed every day quarter OF man
flesh. These wilde men are chained
fast to a post every day. the one In
Prester Iohn's courtd. the other in the
high street of Constantinople, each OF
them having mantell about their
shoulders. and all over their bodyes
they haye wonderful long hare. They
are chained by the neck lest they
speedily devour all that cometh within
their reach"
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

the afternoon Of the 9Th Rae came IN
with sparkling eyes and mud bespaE.
tered boots and trousers.
az thought you were going to ue
here March d. | remarked.
$50 did L. remarked Rae.
"Where have you been? 4 ds.
manded.
"'Well, twas this way, Mr. Courts
he said. "Out in the little town in
Indiana where came from the only
music ] ever heard was piano and
fiddle, and then only when we beys
got enough money together to give a
dance at the town hall. Right after
/ telephoned you at the station big
band from New York got off the train
aud started playing fine music. They
marched up Pennsylvania avenue to-
ward the White House, and | march
ed with them. in fact. I've been march
ing with them ever since. They JUST
took a train for home few minutes
ago. I'm ready to 20 to work now. :.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

-. -s@@sA-s
new TALES
THAT ARE TOLD
Very Fond of Music.

One Of the senate employers who
will not be disturbed in the event that
the Democrats control the upper
branch of congress two years hence Is
Kennedy Rae of Indiana. clerk of the
senate committee on appropriations.
They are telling good story about
Raes first visit TO Washington. When
Jim Hemenway of Indiana was chair
man of the house committee he got
Rae job as assistant clerk of his
committee. Rae was ordered TO report
at the committee room on March 4.
ION this particslar March T." says
Mr.. Courts, Theodore Roosevelt we
being insugurated. Rae called NE ~
the telephone about 10 O'Clock in the
morning and said he had just arrived
in town and would reach the capitol
in few minutes All day long we
waited for him to show up, but in
vain. The next day he failed to put
in an appearance. About 3 O'Clock in
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
UNCLE WALT
THE POET PHILOSO HER

poets narrowing moneyess
He the
his \ kicked
hotels by the jantors policemen besrudgc
the OF the
though but dog nd turned from the doors OF the
drag out his the best
its
In blame
the lazy the shfte busted and
wrecked the world
loater nfestng the
live? When
willing the world
way ana ! that hol
loweye moneyless bunkoed
world that its likely the chesnnty spiel the
moneyless
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
MARKET WAS NARROW
Rains and Cooler Weather IN Country
West of Missouri River
Had Effect on Grain
Prices.

Chicago, May 27.-Rains and cooler
weather west of the Missouri river
made the market narrow most of the
time today but in the last half hour
large rally on account of renewed
buying for an interest which has been
conspicuous of late on the bull side.
Closing figures varied from a shade
lower last night to q quarter up, To
days sales left corn unchanged to
about " down Oats the same as
twenty-four hours previous or run
ming u to "a decline.
Relief from the draught and heal
even though the change was small
brought quick right about face amona
traders in wheat Bears feelings
grew more pronounced on dat cables
despite bulIish advances.
Prospects for large receipts here
the next few days had further de
| pressing effect as did news of a shut
ting down of mills in the north west
/ Talk Of a blizzard in the north
vest helped to produce fam tone a
the close.
Heavy realizing ny local longs
caused a downward tendency i'm corn
The oats trade proved almost as larg,
as yesterday.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
OLD MRS SOLOMON

Beware MY daughter, how thou
mngIesl matrimony and ambition!
For these are AS oil and water, which
/, will NOT mix.
days toling over "hrain children
spend the evenings thereof amusing
| human baby, like unto an husband,
| aud still survive.
| Go tu! Tn ugh thou mayest escape
I from thy household iabors, from thy
sweeping, and thy busting, and thy
patching and thy sewing, yet which
ono among We shalt escape from the
LAUNbRYMANi
/ Eos, whether se Tee unto an hotel,
or hide in boarding house, or d we'll
In bachelor fiat, he shall pursue thee
and seek thee out.
Yea, bt hold every Monday morning
/ shall he swaks n thee with ais knock =
/ ings and thou shat arise and face him.
And every Saturday evening thy nus
band shall return home, crying:
"WHE is that particular shirt |
most admire? Where are those par
tieutay sox for VIII CHI yearn?'
! And thou shalt be covered with con-
fusion for tiou shalt seek but never
find them.
Thus shall thy inspiration become
desperation, and thy dreams a night
mare,
For, if thou sendest all man g linen
to he washed and mangled, he RACES
at the bill; yet If thou sendest only a
PORTION Of il, he rageth because he
hath nothing to wear!"
If thou darnest not his sox, he wax
eth wroth because they make HIM sui
fer in his Achillean heels.
If thou offeresg him a starched
waistcoat he groaneth because it is
too stiff; yet If thou offerest him a
| starchless one, he groaneth bcanse il
is too limp.
! Yea, verify, verify, love may come
> and love may go, but the rows owes
! the laundry 60 on forever!
Then be not astonishsd when q
clever woman divorceth her HUSBAND
+, for "desertion, !" for peradyenture, she
, may have packed his trunk and lee
+ him to the door.
, Neither when a man divorceth &
talented wife for abandonment; ,
for, peradventure, he may have pur-
chased her ticket to Reno, and lee
her to the station.
For, behold, it is not one another
but DOMESTICITY from which they
flee!
1t is not one another, but MATRI
MONY, from which they seek to cs
cape! ..-
1t is not oneauother, but the LAUN
DRY, which hath shattered thei
happiness.
Go to-! A woman that is welded IN
to an art and unto a man at one ant
the same time Is bigamist. And hav
/ not said unto thee that bigamy is it
+ own reward?
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

The seventeen-year locust promises
to live up to his reputation for regu-
larity and bis song is soon to be heard
in the land, at least in this vicinity,
for these much talked of and seldom
seen insects have been found in the
ground on Staten Island in such a
state of advanced development as to
make it seem certain that within a
week or ten days they will make their
FIRST appearance hereabouts since 1894.
Their advent is not regarded with
such apprehension as in former years,
however. since scientists say that
the amount of damage which they do
is comparatively slight and that their
notoriety Is chiefly due 10 their re
markabe habit of appearing only once
every seventeen years. Should the
locust give up this peculiarly and be-
come a regular yearly visitor, IL is
held that he would soon sink into OBJ
livion in comparison to many other
annual pests which do far more dam
age without achieving any particular
notice. Nevertheless lots OF people
hereabouts art prophesying that the
seventeen-ye year locust will not leave
a single tree or shrub in this city--a
prophesy which would be very serious
if it only happened to be true.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
ILLINOISCEN1RAL
MAY IA, IT'D
r4e FAST MAIL ROUTE
Trai~ Leaves Cairo:

f:,o a. m. Daily Chicago Veshbule
limited, arriving Chicago 1O:40 a. IN
2:t6 a. m. Daily st. Louis Night
limited, arriving st. Louis 1920 a. III
Sleeping car open at $3.50 p. m.
100 a. M. st. Louis Special.
40" a. m. Chicago Daily Express
1.:I5 a. m. st. Louis Fast Mail.
H.. a. IN. Chicago Midday Speeia
2.5a o. m. Afternoon Express 10
St. Louis Odin, Effiingnam. Nation
and CnaI'paign.
4.f5 m. Thabes Accommodation
C:15 D. IN. Chicago and Eastern Tx
press.
1910 u. m rtc ago Night Express
arriving at chicago 7:15 a. M
2.2o a. m. Memphis and Nasnvllle
3:1o a. m. Coach section for Mem
IDS and New Orleans.
+ a. m. Seminole Limited 1of
p .ipgham and Jacksonville, RIA.
100 a. m. Paducah and LoulsVlile
1.41 pm. Daily Memphis and Ne"
Orleans. ,,o.,o
15e D. m. Daily Nashville, Chat'a
nooga and Atlanta.
AIS u. m. Fulton and Mayheid ao'
comodation.
$50 D. nj. Paducab and LOUSY
sIeener, Paducah to Louisville, open
at $3.50 p. m. ..u,
5:55 p. nj. Memphis and New orieah
Special.
For through tickets, sleeping c@i
accommodations and further informa
ton apply at Illinois Central Passen
ger Station. Co'~o IT.
j. "A. JONES, Ticket Agt.
8. G. HATCH, Pass Traffic Manage"
| A. G. PHELPS.
General Pass. Ast. Northern ana
Western lines.
GEO. n. BOWER,
General Pass. Agt., Sou. lines
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
THE WORM TURNING
RAILROADS. TO ACCUSE GOVERN
MENT or CAUSING S2o,0Q0,000
YEARLY LOSS.
Wants Railway Mail Rates Raised
to Meet Commission Races
Seventeen Year Locusts
Not Dangerous.
money less man.

New York. May 81 Having grown
used through period of years to ac-
cusation on the part of the govern
ment against the railroads, New
Workers who are always interested in
ANYTHING novel are now watching
keenly what may be called the turn
ing of the worm, that is, the railroads
accusing the government. The most
important charges against Uncle Sam
as they appear in an article in Pear
sons magazine have to do with the
subject Of railway mail pay. In this
connection the carriers charge tina
the methods of the government are
such as to cause them loss of $40, 000,-
900 a year. The really significant
phase OF this situation Is that the rail-
roads merely ask Uncle Sam to take
his own medicine-that Is, to pay for
exactly similar service the same rates
which through the Interstate Com
mission he authorizes the railroads to
charge the travelling public. At pres
emit. according to the Pcarson's arti-
Gle, it is charged that the government
fails to do so by about one-third. vi
course the complaint is not new since
the railroads have taken their claims
to Congress in the past aud been told
thst they had merit after which moth
ing happened in the way OF relief.
Now that the strain of the long walt
ed Supreme Court decision is temper
arily passed, however New York Is
able TO think Of something else, the
idea that the railroads might actually
have some ground of complaint
against the government along the
lines set forth in the article is one
which is likely to cause much discus
sion.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
MOONLIGHT EXCURSION
Ladies of Cairo ChiIdren's Home Of
fer Entertainment Mon
day Night.

The ladies who have charge OF the
Children's Home will give a moon
light excursion Monday evening, June
s. on the elegant excursion steamer
Sidney. This boat has a capacity of
1000 people and the ladies hope to
sell that many tickets to the good
people of Cairo and Mound City. The
Sidney is q much finer boat than the
81. S." which boat has carried a
number Of excursion parties from
Cairo The Knights of the Myster
Knew have appointed an active COM
mittee familiar with the excursion
business to cooperate with tag ladies
to make the affair grtat success.
The Krew viii give no excursion this
yea as has been their custom for a
number OF years.
There will be fine band on board
the boat-one which regularly ac.
companies the boat on It's trips. The
fare will be only 50 cents.
The boat will leave Mound City at
o'clock and Cairo at o'clock D. m.
returning to Mound City at 1880 and
Cairo at 1870 p, m.
Tickets will be on sale at the var.
ioas drug stores.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
He ceuan't Be Fooled About the
Growth OF the Trees.

A promoter for d rubber company
WINS trying to persuade Mr.. Spangler
to invest some Of his savings In the
company's stock. The demand for
rubber, he said. was worldwide and
constantly increasing. The company
owned immense forests of rubber
trees and kept an army of workers
employed all the time In gathering the
crude rubber. The output was enor-
nous. and the protits-well. the scheme
was certainly better than a gold mine.
II have heard" said Mr.. Spangler
suspiclously, that the forests are be-
ing exhausted
"Thars true to some extent" an
swered the other, "but we are not de-
pending on the existing trees, We are
planting hundreds of square miles
with new trees"
"How long does It take for tree to
grow big enough TO tapW
"Only six or eight years"
'TThat won't 60 down with me-" said
Mr.. Spangler. with emphasis. MY
wife has had rubber plant In the
front parlor for six years, where It's
warla all the time, winter and sum
mer, aud 1t hasn't grown a foot In all
that time. No, sir; you can't fool me
on thatl"-Youth's Companion.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
Erulsnd's uner5wned King.

OF the long line Of kings which have
ruled England since the days of VIII
liam the Conqueror. nearly 300 years
ago, there has been only one un-
crowned king. King Edward v. the
boy king, who met an untoward fate In
the Tower Of London in 1888. is the
only monarch who reigned without re-
ceiving the church's blessing or the
formal homage of his subjects. Some
people include Lady Jane Grey among
Eng'and's monarchs- II this doubtful
claim 10 allowed England's only I'M
crowned queen ranks with Edward Y.
aud deprivps him Of one distinction "a
-.p-aUn TNt Hits ..-+-A
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
Takinu No Risks.

Champ Clark, speaker of the house
Of representatives, says that his party
didn't wish 70 take any risks in the
Last election
Apparently" continued the Demo
cratic leader, they wanted things
done up as thoroughly as did one Of
the two men who were to be hanged
for horse stealing.
sThe place selected was the middle
Of trestle bridge spanning river.
The rope was not securely tied on the
first victim to be dropped. and the knot
slipped. The man fell into the river
and immediately swan for the shore.
As they were adjusting the rope on
the second he remarked;
Say, will yc be sure and tie that
good and tight, cause | can't swimT /"
--Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

TO concede athe few cents difference IN
the wage scale,' for the sake OF an
amieable agreement"
The Committee must know, but
seems disposed to ignore the fact, that
the few cents difference was not the
matter at issue. The question which
presented itself to The Bulletin Co.
went far beyond any considerations
OF the money difference involved. il
Was whether or not the company
hould yield to tho demand that 1t
sign away its control of the mechani.
oal department Of the Bulletin plant,
and give it into what appeared to
be anfriendly hands The larger a
concern the less ii can afford to yield
to such proposition.
The Committee declares 1T was
not in the power OF the Union to
grant the few cents differnce in the
wage scale without breaking faith
with the other employing printers who
Had signed the scale It is TO the
credit of the Cimmittee that il pro-
fesses a proper respect for the con-
tracts made with the other employ
ing printers OF the city; but before
such profession Of respect for signed
ana. written contracts can be accepted
as sincere. the Committee nseds u
eSIlain why the contract with The
Bulletin Co, was broken, and why ii
has thus far uttered no word of ex-
PLANTATION or condemnation of that act
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
THE METHODIST !.
CAPTURED The PRIZE
Result Of a Novel Race Between
Rival Denominations.

Many good stories have been told by
Methodist ministers gathered in con-
ference, and one of the hest Ia that
related nv the Rev Joseph 3 Hlngely
Of Chicago 1t tells Of the race be
tween ministers Of rival denominations
to establish a church in one Of the
growing Montana towns.
"A Baptist clergyman was headed
that way" said the Rev. Mr.. Hlngely,
and was discovered by friend In
one Of the forward seats of the smoker
as the train sped westward
Hushr said the Baptist to his
friend. Don't mention me There's a
Congregational preacher three seats
behind me and I'm afraid he'll beat me
TO Montana. am determined TO ret
there first and establish INV church
aa.ltlsthe man TaS d1olrsa 10 ll-A -
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

1t will take some very careful and
very persistent culling on the brick
pavements to avoid wiping out tnat
"a per cent margin between the bare
ly acceptable brick and that which Is
prihibited by the specifications,
In Carbnlale the brick used for street
having stone a much better test than
that used on Commercial avenue: and
there is reason to believe that Cairo
is not getting the standard quality
OF the Portsmouth brick.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
keepind Ills Word.

Henry, you owe me S. You remem.
Der that bet you made me last week
that you wouldn't smoke any more for
a month. Well, saw you walking
down the street last Nlght smoking a
big cigar"
I'm not smoking any more; I'm
simply smoking the usual amount" ~
Exchange.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

Judge Butter says the Cairo City
Council win have to try again if it
wants to collect that $4,000 a year
Road Tax to apply ON the city streets.
This time perhaps Mayor Parsons will
let the measure stand, seeing what
confusion and harm his veto of the
previous ordinance has caused.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
OUT of Place.

Aunt Prisms--I am shocked at YOU,
Maude. You permitted young Mr..
Jones TO kiss yon. Maude--He only
Just touched me on the nose. auntie,
Aunt Fftsms-It was quite out of
place. my dear. Maude- He knew it
was. auntie But you came In 50 sud.
denly. you see.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
70 KILL THE DANDRUFF GERM.
the Only Possible Way OF Having
An Effective Cure.

II you see a woman or man with lux
ariant glossy hair. you may be sure mel"
her has dandruff to amount to anything,
In nearly every case where women and
men have thin brittle hair, they owe II
20 dandruff There ere hundreds OF prep
4Iasidas that claim to cure dandruff,
bit not one but Newbro's Herpieide tells
you that daudruft is the result Of a germ
burrowir1 into the scalp. and that per-
manent cure Of dandru9 and its conse-
quent failing and badness, can only be
had by killing the germ; and there is 10
ctAer preparatton that will destroy that
rorn but EewbT5's Herpicide Destroy
the cause, and you remove the effect"
Sold by leading druggists Send ioc. ir
stamps for sample 10 The Herplcide Co,
Detroit Hich
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
Labor tInionism. when governed by

Labor tlnionism. when governed by
reason and disposition to be fair,
is q good thing for all concerned.
When it is directed by men who are
unfair, unreasonable, pictorial ami
reckless, it is the greatest enemy of
industrial development that can afflict
community.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

lave any luck on your fishing
tripF'
Yes. Counting those that g,t away
and those we threw back, we almost
got seven. "-Detroit Free Press.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

t1.ltiiient, for a Methodist preacher
rode west on the cowcatcher nnd was
digging the cellar by the time the Bap-
fist emerged from the ."--Phila-
detphia Times,
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

"There Is period In woman's life
when she thinks OF nothing but dress"
what period Ia that2"
From the cradle to the grave
Puck.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

Young Hachelor--l often wonder Ii
am making enough money to get mar
ried on. Old Benedict--Well, don't
know how much you're making. but
you ain't!--puck.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
Her cr;t;o;.yr

n wish FRITZ would write his figures
palmer ! can't possibly tell from his
letter whether 1t Is 1000 or 10000
kisses that he seAds me."--TTl'egendo
Batter.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28
Peace at Last.

MFR. Hoon-Scrappington and his wife
have parted. Mrs. Hoon--Good gra-
cions! What Ia the trouble? Mr., Hoon
There isn't any trouble now. They
have parted. Smart Set.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-28

Neither despise nor oppose what
thou doSt not understand. ~ william
Penn.
Mexico Missouri message., 1911-01-26
He Was Once ~. B. Clark" But
The Name Did Not Suit Him.

Washington, D. C., Jan. 10. Here
is the true story Of how Repre-
sentative Champ Clark. of Mis-
souri,, who has got a half Nelson
on the speakership Of the next
house, got his name. He told it
himself today.
"My parents named me James
Beau-champ Clark" he said
"They didn't christen me because
they were Complexities and
didn't believe in christening. |
hadn't been noticing things very
long before l discovered that
there is a j. B. Clark at nearly
every postoffice in the United
States. One day went down
into Kentucky to a place where as
usual there was a j. B. Clark
Nearly all of my mail went to him
He opened my letters and sent
them back to the writer's. I then
and there decided to change my
name.
"The first thing | did was to
drop off the James / thought
it would be a nice thing to be
called Beauchamp Clark; but thu
first thing I knew they were call.
ing me Beechamp, Boochamp
Bichamp, Bawchamp and every
other kind of a champ No.
body could pronounce it right.
never was certain that ] could
either, so I just dropped off the
first part and kept the Champ
Mexico Missouri message., 1911-01-26

It was to Holcomb. He had declared
to her that she had deserved favorable
comment
Notwithstanding this the company's
hopes were still high. for. while they
all bought morning papers rapidly to
get the opinions Of the critics, when
they had read them there was an al
most unanimous outburst, What does
he know about 1t anyway
The third day there was considerable
excitement, for word had gone round
that the big man from New York"
was coming up to look over the piece.
and that meant surely that they would
soon be back on Broadway" During
the performances there was no talk
about anything but how the big man
was taking II. reports being brought
back between acts by the treasurer OF
the company.
He says II Is a knockout" was the
FIRST report that was carried from ear
to ear. Nobody ever saw him laugh
30 much" was whispered about We
will run ali season on Broadway" was
the third electric charge that fired their
minds and warmed their hearts and
sent them RnllopinG on jOyously to the
end OF the play
At the little supper parties Int
which members broke up that evening
there was great content, whether II
was over the more liberal spread OF
the principals In the restaurants Of the
main hotel or over the beer aud cheese
OF the stage carpenter and the minoi
actors. Once more they would be get
ting home: once more they would b,
back on their beloved "thOrOughfarp
Of the theaters;" once more they woulC
be before the public to which they
loved to play. and. " course. the hnan
cial end OF 1.-THE fact that they could
save money-that was not forgotten.
Bleiman himself was NOT In evidence.
but In such short talks as be- had with
the principal actors the next day be
expressed his belief that the good
things they ell looked forward TO
would 5000 be realized
II was not until the end OF the week
that, while their expectations were still
at the highest, they learned the truth.
The big man from New York had de-
clared the play was rotten" and had
refused to give 1t any more time either
Ia New York or elsewhere. and the no
tice was posted ON the call board
Company will close on Saturday night
next"
II was a bitter blow for Dora Full
lerton. Hardly over twenty. she had
fought out what TO her was a great
resolution and discouraging conditions.
Her mother she had never known.
Her father. q kindly but academic
man, had never quite seemed TO under
stand her, while bis sister had insisted
that all OF her improper instincts were
those OF her mother. who, like herself,
had longed for a stage career against
the opposition Of her husband and to
the disgust OF her sister-in-law. As far
back as she could remember Dora had
been accustomed te he,ng told by her
aunt that everything she had liked 20
do was the wrong thing. II as a child
she was rebsllious over a household
edict she was told that she had the
nasty TEMPER Of bar mother: II she