davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1911-02-02
SYNOPSIS.

Niles Selma Luo, spinster nocery-stors
OF the community. presides over an I'm
promptu day nursery for the babies Of
the neighborhood In the rear OF the
boxes and are known as the "Soap-Box
Babies" Tho fact that she Is single
makes her somewhat OF an object OF
sympathy to tho mothers. although pos
tessed OF stronger maternal instinct than
tneny of them.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1911-02-02
pU RING A TIFF.

Wife-It seems to me we've been
married a century. ] cant wen re-
member when or where we first met,
Husband-Can't you? Well l can.
1t was at a dinner party where there
were 10 at the table.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1911-02-02
Omen Quickly True.

Hostess-Mr. Squibs is going TO re-
cite a comic song.
GUEST knew something would
happen. | upset the salt at the dinner
table.-Stray Stories.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1911-02-02

Stage thunder brings no showers O,
spiritual blessing
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1911-02-02
What Goats Eat.

4 goat eats only one-eighth as much
as a COW. but gives more than that
proportion OF milk.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1911-02-02

II doesn't take half the effort Il
smile over a trouble that It does Il
tell all about It to everybody you meet
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1911-02-02

velop the art of keeping still we should
Immediately begin to talk about it.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
'sSend No More Giants

X a brains the to
make (get hold of
It all He completed the latter
labor April a. his s1st birthday And he had
fun giving the than n
It is the universal testimony way
1t Is
numbers
43 had no
for the perpeuation his
where thought
The worlds ringing with of this
rightly He has given good of his stewardship
thousands Of will
labored
STILL these to
do They
can't wholesome
Most of them
And when is adled people good
enin sense OF humiliation in the spectacle
never quite the the paid
and toll OF the people themselves
tons library buildings in different country
California
door in chseed he words
ANDREW CARNEGIE"
the a still beauti-
4ul building, legend:
ERECTED BY BOSTON,
Which inscription
Of the is touched with the light
to the poets
Send more giants God. but people great.n
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
1 IN 1000

One hundred men are going to
get ten hundred men to give $40
each to help maintain the Y. M.
C. A. for next year.
The committee Of 100 is at
work. 1t expects to get the sum
1000 In short order.
This Is the meaning Of the
in 1000 ads which have been ap-
pearing lately.
The Y. M. G. A. has over 1000
members but the receipts from
members do not pay the running
expenses of the big plant. These
Expenses were $4,000 last year.
The object is to keep the dues low
so that all young men may be
taken in as the association wants
the young men more than it wants
their money.
Business men generally recog-
nize that the institution is worth
supporting for the young men in
their employ who frequent the big
building instead of saloons and
dives are the young men who can
be relied upon In their business.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
The TACOMA MARKET
RETAIL PRICES.

RETAIL PRICES.
Meats
Round steak 16Q lie; sirloin. 17hc;
porterhouse, zoe; pot roast, 12hc;
mutton steak, 15c; chops. 1sc: pork
steak. lSc; chops. zoe; ham, sliced,
25c; liver. Sc; veal chops. 20c;
hens. csc; pork sausage 16c; lamb
12hc; picnic hame. lac.
Vegetables.
Peas, 15c, or lbs. for csc: as
paragus. sore; radishss, 500 per
doz.; cucumbers, CSC each; pota-
toes, home grown, $2.75, Yakima,
$2.75 SIX; tomatoes, 100 15o per
H.; cabbage. Sc Ib.; lettuce. for
Sc; all bunch stuff, for Sc; eau
liflower, 5000 head; rhubarb, 10c
per lb.. or 2 lbs. for 15c.
Fruits.
Apples, $1@2.25 box; oranges, Is
@60c doz.; grape fruit, loo each.
for Csc; Strawberries. 25o Lox.
Dairy PrdductR.
Eggs, 22hc doz.; cream cheese,
35c; domestic, $50; butter, ESQ
Halfbut cheeks. q lbs. 3Bc: hallbut,
10c h.; salmon, f5c; smelts, Jos zkc
black cod. Ice: salmon troat, 26e;
rock cod, 15c; CLAIMS, 30 per Ib.
eastern oysters. $1.o0 ct: 75c0&2 q
hundrsd; Olympia oysters. $1.o0 qt.i
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
Philosopher His Tyre Tunes and
Of the Spring His Muse Communes

The South J street Philosopher
was seated In a bunch OF dusty
rugs and empty cans. He hadn't
had his lunch and as he gazed IN
misery around the torn-up house
he thought he'd drown his sor-
row In good old-fashioned
souse.
His wife, with towel round her
head and In her hand a broom,
came out and found him sitting
there and added to his gloom.
Get up, you lazy 'reprobate," she
said, land take this stick and get
the dust out OF them rugs and do
1t mighty quick"
Philosopher, with many a
groan, remarked: "Am 1 a dub
to help y6u clean this blooming
house without a bit of grub? II
seems to me It hasn't been q
since we went through the
whole blamed place with fine
toothed combs and made 1t look
like new. Why ia It women do not
take the time to look around and
study Natures beauties, the sun
set on the Sound; TO study art
and science, the harmonies of
Bach, the message of the violets
and the lichens on the rock?"
you blamed old chump," said
Mrs. Phil. suppose I spent my
days a-rubbering at Nature with
soft poetic gaze? I'd like to
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
Her Dream of Perfect Bliss

These for old Miss Democracy-the
prosperity
smiles
Sometimes her
sometimes Woodrow Wilson,
it gallant knight
times before At such times she
wit old
new
whatever i'm In
White
triumphant
o
will begrudge happiness that the
the
yet long time to the first Tuesday Monday
November
awakening
powerful noby many who
oppressed here lies eofy victory.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

shIimps, 12Kc@2Bc: crabs, s1.5o0
z.00 doz.; perch. 10c.
Hay, Feed and Grain
Prices I'm Tacoma.
Bran, $50 sack; shorts, Sf.20
sack; wheat, s2.1s sack; oats. $1.S5
SACK 100 lbs; hay. timothy, s24 ton;
aaiaira. VII ton; corn. $1.60 sack.
WHOLESALE PRICES
Livestock.
ws SGws atssr H ismi. S.s
ewes. 6Q4Mc; hogs. f0411e; heif-
ers. 4zc.
Turkeys. -2s @ 25ci ducks. live
Ya2e: squads; live. s25o@s doz.;
Vegetables.
Artfchokes. 81 dox.: beans. wax. &c
h.; green. So H.; bell peppers, ace,
Chill peppers. 12o; tomatoes, $2.250
$50 crate; cucumbers, hothouse
$1.50 doz; carrots. zoo doz punches
u saok; bests, 2oc doz. Sits sack
&f.26 sack; parsley. 36c doz.: lettuce
$1.5o per cratss spinach, &c ID.
sprouts. Sc; green onions. Zoe dos
Butter and EHg&
BUfTER-Washfn gton, 2fc.
EGGS-Washtngton ranch, can
died, 2ac.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
Be Slow to Blame

shock of exposa1
that seemingly be hard bear Trial of the men brought
There
possibly connected with plots
suspected is
could
De of a Grim
Talk of plants by enemies of union labor should certainly be
Should it develop that connected with union
will
will unonism. bitterest
afflicted often within.
eachery
open opponent
after
Labor to emerge the stronger.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
VICTORY
FOR HOME RULE

(By United Press Leased Wire.)
LONDON. April 27.-By a vote
of 284 to 100 the house of COM
mons this afternoon defeated the
amendment to the lords veto bill.
proposed by Lord Lonsdale and
members Of the unionist party.
which excluded from the measure
the operation of any bill to estab-
lish a separate parliament for the
exclusive government Of Ireland.
The vote indicates the passage Of
the home rule bill, which comes
up later.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

Editor Times:-
l want you to tell me through
the columns Of your paper how a
young widow can best provide for
herself and little child and at the
same time keeping the little one
with her.
To take position as house.
keeper places her in a false posi-
ton; to work out by the day
means leaving the little one in the
care of strangers and the same
does not bring enough remunera-
ton to keep mother and child.
VIII you please tell a desperate
highly strung young mother who
cannot stand charity,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
TODAY IN HISTORY

April 81, 1864, Admiral David
Dixon Porter, who was noted not
only for bravery but for an or
nate command of expletive Ian
|guage, was met by a crisis which
exacted the highest of his skill.
The admiral was skidding down
Red river with a fleet of gun
boats that drew from seven to
eight feet of water when at Alex
andria he encountered some falls
with only four feet of the liquid
over the rocks. And what do
you suppose he didf Well, he
just spent II days damming the
river and lifted the water so
high the boats could get through
without touching. They do say
that even the great Napoleon had
no greater command of language
than had Admiral Porter.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

know who'd cook the meals and
keep the pantry clean; who'd
scrub the sink and stove and fiji
the lamps with kerosenef
"If I should study symphonies
and violets and art; the where
fore of the wMchness. the whole
ness of the part, l fear you'd live
in squalor, with dirt up to your
knees. You'd track in mud upon
my rugs whenever your burned
please.
"Your job is not to give advice
it's Just to pay the bills; WON
an who is keeping house, amt
got much time for frills."
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
WHICH IS BEST?

restricted district will be
incumbent declares the
closed tight
visited the
nj now
that Roys ignorant Of this pertinent fact he may
The the country Whatever be said In defense
municipality owned
perhaps conditions would be
the afar
question wants the unspeakabe
private graft.
There disagree with Mr. Roys that the kind Of
ha socalsic idea of
conditions improved hitting at the root of the social evil
question solved is whether
dives
of lowest and most abominable nature.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

In Springfield. Mass, they are
|still so true and loyal to their
Puritanfc rearing that the local
censorship Of theatrical posters
has prohibited the display of a
bill of the cold Homestead
showing Uncle Joshua standing
in front of a small statue OF
Venus. In previous years, the
censor allowed the sheet to go on
the bin boards after a piece Of
white paper had been pasted over
the body Of the figure. Isn't it
|pitiable, Mehitable?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

down his past.
Resolve at last to seek thine
own commendation, to appear
fair in the eyes of God desire 10
become pure with thine own pure
self, and with God.-Epictetus.
An interesting struggle is going
on between Bailey and Bryan for
the control of the democratic
party. One stands for special
privilege, the other for the peo-
pie.
Money seems to come easy to
some people, particularly in cases
where the way is CREASED by bit
of political influence. Now 1 know
of no easier money than that
picked up by John Hays Ham
mond in connection with the
Hetch-Hetchy water project of
San Francisco.
1t seems that the attitude taken
by Secretary Ballinger and Presi-
(dent Taft drove the San Francis
leo authorities to the Lake Elean-
or watershed to the temporary
exclusion Of the Hetch-Hetchy
sources, and make 1t essential that
the city buy all the land in private
Ownership in the vicinity of Lake
Eleanor, at the terms OF the pri'
vate owners. There were two
pieces in private ownership. and
Hammond disposed of one fol
$400, 900 and the other for $780,
1000. Sincerely,
RATH.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

PRODUCED In the house Of repre-
sentatives providing for the coin
age of two and half cent
piece. If 1t becomes a law, think
what it will mean to have the
sign read. WAS $1.0O, now
;. 97h," instead Of the old. out
worn 5 SO sales that no longer
sound like bargains.
Teacher (giying a lesson ON
the cat to her kindergartens): I
want you all to think of some
thing that your cat does. What
does your cat do, Percival Prig?
p. p: My kitty drinks milk.
Teacher: What does your
kitty do, Tommy Toughnutt?
Il. t.: 1 dunno.
Teacher: You don't know?
You have . kitty, Tommy, surely
You know one thing she does.
Think hard.
T. t.: How sh'd I know? !
goes to school all day and me cat
buns all night. See?
And so, from hour to hour, we
ripe and ripe,
And then, from hour to hour, we
rot and rot,
And thereby hangs q tale.
-Shakespeare
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
PREACHER, 90, AND
MAIDEN OF 40, WED

(By United Press Leased Wire.)
OAKLAND, CAL, April 27.-
Following the issuance Of a license
it was learned today that the Rev.
John Thompson, 80, and Miss
Harriet M. Sherwood, As, would be
married some time today by the
Rev. F. L. Goodspeed, pastor of
the First Presbyterian church. DR..
Thompson is wealthy and was at
one time Pacific coast head Of the
American Bible Society.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
dditorial PAGE Of che Cacoma Cimes
MOST
ANYTHING
Nothing Serious.

Nothing Serious.
81 see your wife had to be car
ried to her carriage yesterday"
Eyes; she had to be carried"
what does the doctor say?"
1--WE have no doctor. The dress
maker says she made the gown
a trifle too tight" Washington
Herald.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
/ MATRIMONIAL BAROMETER

The wedding was over.
Guests" the usher announced,
twill kindly register their predic-
Ftions in this book"
'What predictions?"
,'As to how long youth give 'em
to stay Observation-Disclosures
Herald.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

Easy for Him.
''We're goin' to have three NOV
ing vans to take our goods on the
LIST O. May.
Huh! We don't need no vans.
My papa will carry everything his
self. He's a postman. st. Louis
Globe-Democrat.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

BERLIN, April 27.--Mme. Sem
brich's right arm, injured yester-
day In fall during a visit to the
Pompeiian ruins, will have to be
put under the X-ray before the
extent of her injuries Is known.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

THE ALIENIST'S MISTAKE
Visitor to lunatic asylum which
is undergoing structural improve
ments Ito harmless lunatic who Is
extremely busy wheeling. barrow
upside down: "You ought to turn
that barrow the other way up.
Harmless Lunatic (knowingly)
Il did yesterday. but they put
bricks In ft.-Chicago Post.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27


second best on the subject, "What
Study Do You Like Best, and
Why?'I 81 for the best drawing Of
q girls head, and q box of paints
for the second best.
The drawings must be in
black ink on white cardboard or
plain white paper unfolded, with
your name and address on the
back.
Here is a chance for you to
show your friends what you can
do, and earn some spending money
of your very own. Enter the con-
test tonight. You won't be sorry,
because even il you don't get a
prize this time there are more
prizes coming, and have q whole
pring before long. Address all let
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
His Last Resort

Creditor = is your master at
home?
Servant-Yes; please walk in.
Creditor-Thank heaven, I shall
see some money at last!
Servant-Don't make that mis-
take. IL he had any money. he
wouldn't be at home.-Fliegende
Blaetter.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
At All Hours.

Professor, what do you consid-
er the most wonderful thing in
the world?"
"The brain of a centipede; 1t is
enthusiastically small, yet it has
perfect control over the creatures
entire system of legs and feet. -
Chicago Tribune.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
HOW QOM
The Pessimist.

IT'S a vain and fruitless battle,
And a sorry, bitter strife;
What's the use of all this prattle,
When we've naught to live but
life?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
What is there left to do?
MOTHER

The Times has the name Of the
woman in question. She writes
from a town outside Tacoma and
asks that the name be Withheld. If
there is any person who wishes to
offer word of advice the Times
will be glad to print 1t as an aid
to the unfortunate mother.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
N..s.S<MM1~MHNme

Zealand Alaska, pleased meet
of times
touching their China
right; Mexico they embrace and
Sweden they off their
the United States they
others right hand. and In and "have something"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

TRuiT To; - APPlss- fancy si;Io@
VEGETABLESEHot house let
tuce. $1.25@1.50. cucumbsrs. 75c9
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
The Best Remedy.

Mistress-Why, Lizzie, now you
have broken another valuable
vase! You have done more dam
age than your wages amount to-
What shall / do?
Maid-Raise my wages, ma am
New York Evening Mail.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

Everybody in Pierce county reads this column Short
letters Times readers Of general interest and without
personal malice, will printed Write about anything
body you have malice motive. Many
printed because they long Keep e
short.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

what do you think of that UNI
brella story?"
cts open to criticism."-Los
Angeles Express.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

s1.75 doz.; spinach, &c Is; hothouss
radishes, ESQ dox.: rhubarb, 40 SO.
MEATS-Roosters 13Q15c; springz
l9e; hens 17Q19c; veal 12@t4c;
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

o, ladies, list
And never more say that man
Is not working day and night for
your supremest convenience and
A bill has been in
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

Did you ever see the girl who,
when she reads of her old beau's
wedding in the society column,
doesn't say, with a contemptuous
jerk, I'm sorry for the bride. ]
could have been in her shoes my
self, If I'd been FOOL enough"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
All There Is to 1t.

MI IH6ro ID 20 N.
"What constitutes first-class
society drama"
"Three acts, six gowns and nine
epigrams. "-Washington Herald.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

Entered ut the pessefnes 1T Taeoma. wash..
seeond-cIax. matter TELEGRAPHIC SERVICE
OF UNITED PRESS ASSOCIATION.
PUBLISHED EVERY EVENING EXCEPT sun
DAY BY THE TACOMA TIMES PUBLISHING
COMPANY.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

WASHINGTON, d. c.. April q
Dear Dad:
There is every reason to be-
lieve that the democrats will elect
the next president. There Is just
one thing that may prevent 1t,
and that is the nomination of a
progressive republican candidate
like LaFolIette. VIII the party
see the ehance2
The progress of the intellect Is
to the clearer vision Of causes.
which neglects surface differ
ences.-Emerson.
As q reward for his faithful
support of the Cannon machine
and the Aldrich tariff bill, ex-
Congressman Dune" Mckinley Cd
california has been appointed by
President Taft collector Of the
port of San Francisco. For SIM
liar reasons ex-Congressman Bou-
tell has been made minister to
Portugal, Tawney and ex-senator
Tom Carter have been put on the
Canadian commission Busbey
|Cannon's secretary, has been made
secretary to the Canadian com
mission, and other prominent re-
dictionaries have been named for
the monetary commission.
Judge O'Gorman, the new SEN
ator from New York, is an old
protege Of Richard Croker, a
loyal follower of Murphy, and q
disciple of Tammany. But NE
will be given every chance to live
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
Table Popularity.

They say Miss Luln Is very
popular when charity banquets
are in question"
$50 they tell me. She is reg
ular dinner BELLE" Baltimore
american.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

LAUREATE OF SHANTYTOWN.
'Me beau is a great poet. Why.
In his last love missile he spoke Of
de pipe Of do bluebird.'
Gee, whiz! OATS de limit. I
never knew dat blubirds smoked
pipes before"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
THE TIMES 959 CIRCLE

day and nieces have chance
those prizes giving Saturday Il will give 81 for the
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27
Highly applicable

(Note: Highly applicable 10
the evolution of politics I'm the
Zion City; according to the re-
cent election riots. theocratic
government is no more God-fa-
vored than democratic or cen re-
publican.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-04-27

list of surprises spring long
tiers to Uncle Bob of the Times.
Judith Gap journal. [volume] (Judith Gap, Mont.) 1908-19??, 1911-06-16
THE SLAUGHTER
OF THE INN0CENTS

The county mmissiOners of Mea-
CHER county met at the court house
Saturday, June ). for the purpose of
canvassing the returns of the special
election held in the county on the ~
of May, 1911. After counting all the
votes cast as shown by the returns it
was found that there were cast "FOr
Empowering the Board of County
commissioners of Meagher County
to procure a loan Of $lOO. 900 for the
purpose of building new court
house in said county Of Meagller,'
2>:, and against, $40.
X. p. Wild, tax payer OF Meagher
county. appeared before the board
and protested against the counting Of
the returns from Harlowton, Nihill
and Okla precincts, for the reason
that names Of voters appeared in the
poll book that were not in tile copy Of
the official register. and against the
counting Of the returns Of Judith Gap
for the reason that the official tally
sheet was not certified to by the
judges OF election.
Enllnrinr ia thu vOtn aS cast.
Judith Gap journal. [volume] (Judith Gap, Mont.) 1908-19??, 1911-06-16

Sundays Helena Independent says: 1t was
learned yesterday that construction work would
sf ortly start from Helena for the Helena -Gendve
cutoff of the Northern Pacific and Helena -Mondal<
cutoff of tn Great Northern the two roads to have
a joint line from Judith Gap to this city.
Owing to the fact that the chief engineering feat
of the building of the cutoffs is the construction of
the tunnel at Whites Pass short distance east of
Canyon Ferry it has been decided to begin construc-
ton work this end of the ne that the work of
boring the tunnel can be proceeded with as rapidly
as possible
According to the information obtained yesterday
the line will from point just east of the union
station almost straight to Canyon Ferry. where it
will the Missouri river and follow direct route
to Whites Pass. On the eastern side Of the moun-
tains the road will through White Sulphur
Springs to Judith Cap
1t was stated yesterday that construction work
the Helena end of the line would probably conn
mence within month, and that work would COM
mence at the tunnel the line in a po-
stion to transport the necessary material the
river.