The pioneer express., 1911-02-24
his Autoeratie Hishness Was Shame.
fully ignored and Enrassd, and HE
Luxurious Bath Was shamsfulIy Al.
propriated and Abused,

Ss~.ese SAS
the foreign titles that cropped up
around u.s. We had too much British
pride for that. And, as luck would
have It, at the last town of our tour
we were quartered on the top floor Of
q hotel where German prince occu.
pied a suit of rooms. In our opinion
three English tourists were worth more
than thirty German princes. and we
dropped our boots on the floor at night
in the vain hope that he was under.
meath. But. alas. his suit was on the
first floor. and we never eve& caught q
glimpse Of him, though once we heard
his high pitched. arrogant. penetrating
voice and the oozy fulsome rejoinders
Of his valet both articulating Ian
guage which Parker contemptuously
described as 1.-THE limit"
1t was the last morning of our stay
Parker and l had gone back to the
hotel to pack our bags before departing
for the station. The weather was hot.
ter and dustier than ever. and Wilks.
; always energetic. had gone to the pub
lie bathing place on the river in search
of swim. had letter to write.
and Parker wandered round the hotel
to kill time. Presently he thrust his
face in at the door. 1t had lost its
familiar lowering look and wore a
bright and alert expression.
81 say" he calculated mysteriously.
almost under his breath. 1--WE Just
found bathroom in this blighted hole
bath full of tepid water, with ther-
mometer in it-clean, warmed tow
els on the rail. and all that. What
shall do?"
"Dow replied. "Get into it. man.
and let me know when you've finish
ed"
He wasn't long and came back look
ing wonderfully young and clean. The
mail had just arrived and l had spent
few minutes over my letters before
also found the bathroom. following
his directions. 1t was without excep-
tion the best I have ever been in.
and. to my surprise. the big porcelain
bath was half full of tepid water. and
set Of clean. newly warmed towels
hung on the rail. I took what the
gods gave and asked no questions. but
I wanted more cold water and ex-
perimented unsuccessfully with vari-
GUS levers on the wall. AS last hope
I attacked cart wheel affair on the
floor and after stiff struggle man.
aged to turn it. A flood of cold water
gushed in along one side of the bath.
and 1t was all I could do to wrench
the wheel around and stop the flow:
As did SO light came upon me in
flash. This was the princes bath. pre-
pared for him second time by his
obsequious valet. 1t was the glorious
certainty of the fact that made me en-
Joy that bath as l have never enjoyed
bath before or since. The cheap
English tourists were one up on his
serene highness. after all. Still. l
admit. when l had finished Tubing
lost no time in getting back to the
fourth floor again. told Parker the
great news. and we were just discuss
ing it with rapture when Wilks came
In. looking supremely detected for the
first time on the tour.
'"The bathing place isn't open," he
snarled. Had all the fag of going
there for nothing. What dirty beg
gars they are!'
mot all of them" replied. Don't
you worry, old chap" And I described
to him the position Of the bathroom.
and he was off like q hare. During his
absence we thoughtfully packed our
own bags and his. In ten minutes he
returned. fresh as mountain daisy
and bubbling over with gratitude.
"What sort of bath did you getY"
asked carelessly.
"A clinker." he cried. .'and it was
all put ready for me. clean towels
and everything. The only difficulty I
had was with the cold water wheel
arrangement on foor."
ut was bit stiff." agreed.
1T turned on all right" said Wilks.
'sbut couldn't turn it Of"
"What did you do?' we asked to-
gether.
II left It," he answered simply.
"What time are we due at the sta
ton?' said Parker.
"Now." l replied. and we took our
bags and went.
AS we descended the stairs with
studied calmness we heard electric
bells continuously tingling on the first
floor. a high pitched arrogant voice
raised in anger. oozy, servile tones an.
swering imploringly. We came upon
the proprietor leaping up the stairs
and stream of water leaping down
them. and couple Of hours after
ward we crossed the border with the
secret satisfaction that we had done
Germany at last.-London Punch
A man is called selfish not for pur.
anis4ss hia ann c.ne,xl l,t.x Eos, .,o.l1.&l...