Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1911-07-27
The Chinese pirates are upon us,

The Chinese pirates are upon us,
boys"
This was succeeded by another
frightful report, and then there was
scene of confusion that would have
discounted the racket N boiler shop.
John Tener, who was our treasurer,
grabbed all our available assets and
locked himself in his stateroom. Ed
Hanlon rushed into the cabin with his
treasures in one hand and his Glad
stone bag in the other. Mark Bald
win tumbled upon deck in his pink
striped pajamas with all his worldly
possessions wrapped in blanket. 1t
was current afterward--long years
afterward-in baseball circles that |
filled my mouth with Mrs. Ansons
diamonds, grabbed baseball bat and
stood in the doorway of our stateroom
prepared to brain anybody who tries
to enter. That statement is libellous.
and ! have denied it so many times
that the formula | always use has be-
come second nature, but cannot be
printed with "all the news that's fit
to print" | take this opportunity
once and for all, to give two reasons
why l do not have faith in the ale
cations myself-frst, Mrs. Arson
owned no diamonds, and. second,
wasn't hero enough at that time to
face a gang of pirates with ball
club.
Well don't mind owning up to the
fact that we We're a fused lot of ball
players when we got into that cabin
all in various degrees of undressed
ness. A cloud of thick smoke came
rolling down the gangway and added
to our terror. The stewards were fly
ing about with wild gesticulations and
all talking at once in language that
was almost as bad as the pirates to
us. For few moments the situation
was critical. don't know what would
Of Icagarty galloping around the din
ing saloon and yelling like Comanche
brave. The minute l spied him 1t
struck me that he was at the bottom
Of the whole business.
1t proved to be as had suspected.
Lynch and Fogarty by some means
had become wise to the fact that the
steamers guns would be fired at day
break in honor of the German kaiser's
birthday, and they had put their heads
together and concocted this heroic
practical joke. 1t was rather risky
thing to pull off, but it happened that
no one was the worse for it after the
excitement had worn off. The joke
smiths, however, were given a wide
taken back In full communion until we
had reached America
Only a few days afterward Mark
Baldwin, who was in the habit of Rs-
Ing considerable sleep in inventihg
practical jokes to be worked Off on the
boys-especially on John Tener, who
seemed to be without much sense Of
humor in those days-had an adven-
ture with a big Cingalese monkey that
| the chief engineer was taking home to
Hamburg. 1t was an experience that
ratified Mark considerably at the time,
although don't suppose he realized
the actual danger he was in. The
monkey was a powerful beast, as ugly
| as ever l set eyes on. His owner u.s.
ually kept him in the engine room,
tied with stout rope five or six feet
long, and had given strict orders that
nobody should tamper with him.
| One Sunday morning Baldwin went
into the engine room during the engi-
neer's temporary absence, unfastened
the rope and took the monkey on
deck. The animal didn't resist Marks
treatment at first, being somewhat
dazed by his strange surroundings.
| After the big twirler had pulled the
brute about on deck for awhile-he
called 1t exercise-he took him down
stairs and treated him to beer and