The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1911-06-29
TN Cautious ronsve.

Yhe Cautious tongue.
Singing Teacher - Now. children.
put some spirit In il.
Princi9al (WhisperingD-Caref SIR.
This il . temperance school. Say put
some ginger in it,"
willing 10 Help.
But. darling, every night for Two
weeks have been on my bended
knees before you. Have you no Pity
Il certainly have. Harold. Here is
4 quarter. Go have your trousers
pressed. After SO much bending. they
must be bsggy at the knees"
sweet innoeenes.
He-"So your brother is on the col
lege baseball team. What position
does he play?"
She-"Why-er-I think he bats"
Would Nave Had to Move.
John. the janitor's son whipped
Jimmy today"
We'll, that's no great calamity.
Suppose Jimmy had whipped the jani-
tors SOM"
Miggleton-It looks like rain.
Hambaugh-What looks like rain?
Miggleton (taken by surprise but
equal to the occasional shower bath
in action.
Hs Supplied II.
Wallie-"How fast the horse 10 run
nin'!"
Teacher-"You forget the g."
Wallie-"Gee! How fast the horse
is runnin!"
A Safe Hiding Place.
where can | hide" gasped the
mining stock promoter. as he burst
into his office. "The police are com
ing"
"Get into the simplified card index
easel" cried the chief clerk Il defy
anyone to find anything in there!"
Good chewsrs.
That common cows are very wise
I've always understood.
They know enough to Fletcherize
Their daily food.
should Have Appealed to Andy.
Harduppe-You advertise that you
will buy books. Whatll you give me
for this one?
Dealer-But we want nothing less
than . whole library.
Harduppe-Well. this 10 my whole
library.
UnfaiIIng Source.
Joe Miller was compiling his jest
book.
For posterity in general" he ex-
planned, with a wink. land for London
Tit-Bits in particular.
Even Joe Miller. as we see. had .
sense Of humor.
To Meet an Emergency.
Madam have you any old clothes to
give away?"
Il have a suit belonging to my hus-
band, but fear 1t is too big for you"
"Oh! that will be all right. You
Just set me out square meal and
watch me eat enough SO that l can fill
it,
Modssty.
Robinson (of the city)-What
modest man Maddox-Jones is! I've
known him for years and never knew
till he told me Just now that he ex-
hibits at the Royal Academy.
Burne. Brown (of Chelsea)-He new
er knew either-till a day or two ago.
Most Of us are Very Modest.
She-"Those two gentlemen We just
passed are story-writers and they are
as naughty as peacocks."
He-"Take pride In their tales, eh Z"
A world Of valuable information re-
garding the mineral, agricultural and
horticultural wealth and resources OF
Colorado, its scenic attractions and
climatic advantages is contained in a
beautifully illustrated booklet Just is
sued and which is being distributed
throughout the United States by the
Colorado & Southern railroad.
Two new trains and three nights
Chicago or ST. Louis to San Francis
co, is the subject of striking cir
cular announcing the Burlington.
Rock Island. Missouri Pacific. Rio
Grande, Western Pacific new service
to the Pacific Coast. inaugurated Sun
day last. whoever nldHHeu the circu-
lar evidently intended it should be
read"
HOMESEEkERS ExcURS SION
RATES TO TEXAS AND NEW
MEXICO POINTS DUR
ING 1911.
On the first and third Tuesdays o:
each month during the entire year
The Colorado and Southern Rail
nav will coll round trim homaseokers'