davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-11-17
Just By the Way

why is it that a stew will never
admit hat he is drunk"
why, that Observation-Disclosures
ed gag is as old as the hills"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-11-17

NBOUT MINI
(6U|QIoM

II thought
"Well, I'm not" shot back Johnny
McGraw, the snappy little manager of
the New York Giants. to a friend who
ran across him on Broadway last night.
Il know what you were, going to say"
continued McGraw, you thought I was
on my way to Cuba with my ball team.
Take it from me, I can get enough
baseball during the regular season
without taking part in any more barn
storming trips than I have to.
"Of course, / have to go to Cuba, the
contract calls for that, but zone of that
Florida sand-lot trip for mine. | will
leave by boat Saturday morning and
join the bunch in Havana"
Wilson K~illingbeck, Socialist candi-
date for sheriff at the last election,
tells this story to illustrate an Irish
mans idea of Socialism.
Pat met his friend and told him he
would vote the Socialist ticket, be-
cause Socialists believed in dividing
everything.
Good" said Mike. Does that mean
that if you had two houses and two
lots you would give me n of each?"
Sure was the reply.
And II you had two COWS would
you give me one"
Certainly" aid Pat.
IF Vol had two goats Woulo you
give me one
Get out. you robher; ! ave TWO
goats
"n"' W. ,,.,,o
~
ota ~" -
80 = - W., -
-. saa4a.
e.l,. -
80 49, -, rtal,o, r
$3.50 - ~ 80 uhan ono
80, - - ha,na,,4
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-11-17
Fl
TODAY IN HISTORY.

November II, 1862. General Il. v.
Sumner, with the advance of Burn
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-11-17

A fortune-teller can tell you where
of your money is going.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-11-17
Anything to oblige.

New MATERNITY did you soak that
fellow so much extra?
Old Waiter-He kicked so much
about the food and the service that
| judged he was in the habit of eating
in more expensive places.
There are streets in Paris-the "city
of ~light'-that are still lighted by
oil.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-11-17

Rockefeller has over twenty bath
rooms. The immunity bath is the one
he likes best.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-11-17

1t is said The easiest word to pro-
ounce in the English language is
"murmur." 1t is two signs stuck to-
gether.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-11-17

A Richmond maj has offered Doc
Wiley, for the little sum OF $4,000, n
hen that lays eggs marked with the
capital letter "G." Old Doc might be
more likely to come across If she laid
egs that would develop the letter n"
before the &c" after the lapse of a
certain time.
A Swiss newspaper has boldly an
nounced that 1t will lead a double life.
Half of the paper will be conservative
and half socialistic.
Many people feel that they are
hampered by the groove they live in
yet the locomotive is always safer
when it sticks to the rails.
Brazil and Peru have established a
string of wireless stations across
South America.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-11-17

Mrs, Isaac P. Rodman, formerly of
Berkeley avenue, Orange, is now oc-
cupyi..4 her home at 81 Carnegie ave-
nue., East Orange.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
Advantages of Country Life

"The back to the farm Idea Is grow ins in strength among Birmingham peo- pie" said Dr. F. F. Snedecor yesterday. About a year ago I moved out to a small farm I have In Shades valley for the summer. When winter returns it is hard for me to persuade my family to return to our town house 1t is so pleasant and healthful in the country have been greatly benefited not only in health but from an economical point of view since going to the country
 we have quite a community of city people in Shades valley and they all seem to be happy and satisfied. Among these may be named Dr. worthington, R. P McDavid, Turner Weakley, Barnes Morgan, J. S. Fullwood, T. M. Nes- bitt, George Kelley. D. o. Wilson, Dr George Brown, Dr. George Eubanks and others.
 There is but one difficulty in the way of complete happiness in the upper end of the valley. That Is the dan Gerous crossing on Red mountan above Twenty-seventh street. This is coming to be a popular route for automobiles to the fine country roads in the valley beyond and they are menace to other vehicles at the crest of the mountain. A very littls money would cut a good grade over the mountain and make the road one of the best across the ridge
 "rhe matter has been called to the attention of the city commissioners and 1t Is hoped that something may be done scon."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
FATHERS, DAY HALTs

From the Haverhill Gazette.
 Mothers day is observed on the second Sunday of each May, and it is now pro- posed to dedicate the third Sunday in June to father. Somehow, though, the couraging response Probably that is be. cause father himself is opposed. Mother knows she is deserving of honor and is willing that it should be paid. Father is ready in most cases to lead the process sion in honor of mother, but when it comes to making a fuss over himself he balks. He isn't used to that sort of thing, and it isn't in his nature. His business is to provide for mother and the brood. and he is just as willing to provide glory as grub. Submitting to praise would be to him like a confession of dependence. and he isn't ready for that yet Serious and sentimental bards leave that to the jackpot jinglers. Neither are there softening songs about him; he gets into the ballads occasionally along with the sawbuck and the stovepipe, and he enjoys the company very much. He docs not want to be sobbed over. He wants to be let alone. He is willing to let his bowed back and silvered hair bear certainly not support a movement to set apart an annual day in his special honor. He thinks that such recognition as Is due him ought to be spread equally over the 365 days in the year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
Hot Dry Weather in June

A great wheat crop is becoming we'll assured. The harvesting of win ter wheat is progressing and spring wheat is coming along finely. The experts of the department of agricul- ture say the total crop of wheat will approximate 64,O00,000 bushels. The largest crop ever grown in this coun- try was that of 1901, when 748,000,- 900 bushels were produced.
 Not quite so much can be said for the cotton crop, for the sun has been very hot and precipitation very light in the cotton belt. In speculative centers traders are eager to gather news of trouble to crop that is all important in international trade as we'll as in home matters. Such people can see disasters before they even rise to the horizon, and yet single wet day may upset all their schemes. t is much too early to say that the premature heat and anti-moisture wave is fixture. It may disappear in a twinkle and normal conditions would then come back. Let us be hopeful. Wheat as foreshadowed in the wheat belt may yet be duplicated in the cotton belt. The acreage and conditions are favorable and nothing good is lacking except moisture. The skies and the weather clerk may yet prove kind. They should live up to the rule of reason.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
Woman Suffrage in Wisconsin

Wisconsin's woman suffrage bill applies to all elections except those of the presidential sort. The bill is a law, but it is one of those laws that do not go into full effect unless in- dorsed at a referendum of the people at the fall elections.
 The vote in November in Wisconsin will be interesting, because Wisconsin has many Scandinavians and many Germans. The former may be will ing to grant rights to women-the latter, however, may not. No state with a large foreign vote has yet adopted woman suffrage, and the vote in Wisconsin will be closely studied by all politicians and all polit- ical students.
 Senator 'LaFollette's friends are ir control of the legislature, and the presumption is that the great radical also favors woman suffrage. He is an iconoclast at heart, and man who wants progress for progress sake. Anything for a change seems to suit him, and his state may even be ready for woman suffrage.
 But if woman suffrage is good in
 
 electing sheriffs, legislators and gov ernors, why is it not good when presi- dental electors are to be chosen? The line surely has not been logically drawn in Wisconsin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10

duty" This amendment will, if adopted, require affirmative action by Quebec, New Brunswick and one other province. The object of the amendment is to open the door to many amendments and to serve the paper trust. It should be defeated, and the democrats will aid the Presi- dent to defeat it. If the Root amend ment be added to the bill no pulp or paper can be imported free from Can ada until three provinces have acted, and those provinces are under no obli- gation to conform to the will of the Dominion.
 All the democrats present of the finance committee voted against the addition of the Root amendment and three republicans joined them, mak- ing the vote stand to 6. The demo- crats present were John Sharp Will Hams, MT. Some and MT. Kern. Mir. Johnson of Maine was not present. had he been present the result would not have been changed. The fight on the floor of the Senate will be par ticularly bitter when the Root amend ment is pressed to a vote.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
A BRAVE SOLDIER

From the Brooklyn Eagle.
 These fellows who are so much con- cerned over the injury the reciprocity bill will work upon the farmer reminds me of a soldier used to know named Car lysle.' said Representative Ollie James of Kentucky. "Carlysle was given a re- cruit to break in just on the eve of the first battle of Bull Run" continued the giant Kentuckian, "and was greatly agi- tated because the new soldier expressed some fear of cannon balls. grape, canister and even plain rife ball.
 Courage. boy. courage." he cried to the recruit as the roar of battle began from the breatsworks and the whining mimic balls came through the air. 'Cour- age, say; have no fear, for I am with you.'
 "'I ain't afraid. but I wish the domned things would quit sassng me as they go by my head cried the new man. Gee, here comes anotherr
 |" Be a man. cried Carlysle, and don't shame your country Remember, I'm with you; I'm right behind you
 Another missile came whirling through the air over their heads, and the recruit dodged and lowered his head.
 " Be brave cried Carlysle, and, what ever you do, for Gods sake, don't duck Remember, I'm right behind you
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
THE ART OF DOING NOTHING

From the New York Globe
 The medicinal value of loafing is gen erally recognized by the expert on nerves. One of his commonest prescriptions now adays reads something like this: Knock off work for the winter and take trip to the Riviera or California or the Holy Land. What you need is two or three months of nothing to-do treatment"
 This sounds like the easiest kind of medicine to take (provided one has the necessary cash after the doctor gets through), and yet, as pr. R. P. Francis says in the Medical Record, "too ofter doing nothing is the hardest kind of hard work. But what can I do if I dc not work? says the middle-aged man. l don't know anything else to do. To sit down and do nothing would drive me crazy"
 The real trouble here, says Dr. Francis, and the above hypothetical case is typi- cal of thousands that come before the doctors every year, is that the patient has neglected to provide himself with a re- source for his mature and declining years, a resource almost if not quite as essen- tial to comfort and happiness as flnan- cial independence. He doesn't know how to loaf and he doesn't know how to play lis, in fact, working machine pure and simple.
 When his bearings wear loose his joints begin to rattle, and later models of homo sapiens that can run circles around him because of mere youth and newness, if for no other erasons, come into the field the all-work- -po-play man is left high and dry. With plenty of money and 1C or 15, perhaps even 25. more years of life he becomes an irritating nuisance to him. self for the absurd reason that he doesn't know how to do nothing and enjoy the work.
 The situation, says Dr. Francis, is but another illustration of the great advan- tage prevention has over cure. The man who has neglected recreation until forced out of the working field usually manages after a painful period of misery to de- velop some interest or hobby that pro- vides poor and more or less unsatsfac- | tory substitute for work. On the other | hand, the fellow who trains his recrea- | ton centers as he goes along, and keeps | his body in good condtion "retires" to what should be for all successful men the | happiest period of life.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
Federal Regulation of Trusts

Charles Nagel, secretary of com merce and labor, is distinguished lawyer of St. Louis whenever. he is a private citizen. In recent address to the graduates of Washington uni versity he discussed the-rule-of-rea- son trust decision which was the out come, he said, of a clash between na- tional regulation and irrational mo- nopoly. "The successful termination of this struggle" he went on to say, Twill result in a demand for a new form of government, not paternal and not socialistic, but directly controlling and watching the great business cor porations in the interest of the public"
 Beyond all reasonable doubt the trust decisions have reopened the sub feet of trust control. There is a grow ing impression that trusts will con- tinue to exist and from all thoughtful men comes demand for regulation of interstate trusts by legislation. Chairman Gary of the United States Steel corporation seems to be as de- sirous of federal control and regula- tion as Mir. LaFouette is, and wher - the subject again comes up public
 ss,utirarnt promises to have become almost solid in favor of some form of federal control. The details vii then remain to be formulated. There is no mistaking the drift of public sentiment. It favors the existence of regulated trusts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
Reciprocity in the Senate

By vote of 10 to the finance committee has actually agreed to re- port the reciprocity bill without recommendation next Tuesday. It might have named the first Tuesday in July, but it did not, and next week the Senate will begin to discuss the measure. No one can foresee when the final vote on it will be taken. All can see that it will not be very soon, unless the weather in Washington be- comes simply uncomfortable, something it can readily become in the summer time.
 Although the bill is to be reported without recommendation still the Root amendment was tackled onto the bill. The Root amendment provides that the paper and wood pulp section of the bill shall not be in force until the President "shall have sufficient evidence and shall make proclamation that such wood pulp, paper and board being the. products of the United States are admitted free into all of the provinces of Canada free of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
InmuZZled Dogs

To save the children and even 1 adults from the danger of rabies the city's commissioners issued a procla- nation to all citizens to muzzle their dogs. and those citizens at once re- iected, as a rule, the proclamation by letting their dogs roam freely in the streets unmuzzled. If proclamations are to be thus treated the commits sion will soon command no more re- spect than did proclamation from one of the old boards of aldermen. No one obeyed their proclamations, and now it is proposed to veto the dog proclamation of the commission in like manner.
 The commissioners do not propose to let the people of this city run the gauntlet of unmuzzled dogs. They propose to hunt down unmuzzled dogs without unnecessary delay, possibly taking steps at the same time to cap ture some of their owners and to lead them before the police judge for such fines as they may deserve.
 Not only should all dogs be muzzled in the hot months in order to protect the public, but proclamation should be something more than a tinkling cymbal and an empty sound. It should be either enforced or altogether with drawn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10

From the New York World A big man with a flowing mustache, suggestive of the woolly west face tanned by desert suns, and long raven hair, strode into the Waldorf AS storia when hundreds of men and women, clad in the latest modes. packed the dining rooms.
 The big mans head bore wide-brim- med, weather-stained sombrero. Over his gray woolen shirt was a well-worn khaki coat, with a broad leather belt around the waist. His khaki brooches were stuffed into high, hobnailed miners boots.
 He strode toward the most populous of the dining rooms, and casually, as if to the manner born, handed his sombrero to the wide-eyed maid. As he was about to enter the room the head waiter hastened toward him, and, with expostulatory ges- lures, began, My dear fellow, you know -er-quite unusual"--
 But the stranger stopped him with a wave of his huge, tanned paw, and then, to the astonishment of all the gaping diners he opened up with an elaborate flCCduilly accent III InlS wise.
 Me good man, I hawdly wonder you're surprised at this rig. But it's this way, you know. For, oh, so many yeahs, you know. I've been out in the west. digging in the beastly eahth for gold And bit of time ago l found the stuff Took the first train east, you know, and just landed in this town.
 Been eating hawd tack and drinking suds for so long, you know. that couldn't wait for a real spread So I came up heah without waiting to change me clothes. Now, don't be a bally rotter, stand out of the way"
 As the heavy hand waved again, the head waiter stood aside respectfully. The western Englishman enjoyed his meal with relish, eating, it is aid, about four times the amount the ordinary diner con sumes His bill was $40. In paying he pulled out a big handful of gold double eagles He tipped the waiter a single | eagle, which he found after a search. The stranger afterward said he was | Bertrand Lewellyn Charles, younger son of well known English family. He set out years ago penniless to make his for tune, he said, and seemed satisfied that he had made it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
HUSBANDS DEATH BRINGS JOY

From the Washington Post.
 "They do things quickly out in the Shawnee section of Ohio. where I hail from" remarked Edwin o. Wood of Perry county. at the Dewey. Last week Elizabeth Williams almost fainted when she received a letter from Colorado tell ing that her husband had been found frozen to death in wild region of Colo rado. Now Elizabeth's faintng spell was not caused by grief over the information that she was a widow. Rather she was faint with joy. Five years ago her hus- band left for parts unknown and she had never heard from him. During her sus- pense and solitude she met Thomas Jones. He, during his courtship, insisted that her husband must be dead. His plea did not prevail. Finally she promised she would not wait long, after she knew the fate of the missing husband. When the telegram came, Elizabeth got busy, Thomas was at work lew miles away, but messenger reached him and he was soon shaved and In clean clothes. Three hours after Elizabeth had the message she was married to Thomas You can guess by the names, that all parties men, toned are Welsh. The Shawnee section has large Welsh population, and they like a little romance now and then as well as do others
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10
IMPROMPTU PICTURE SHOW From the New York Times.


 One of the first persons to escape from
 the burning plant of the Powers com pany manufacturers of moving picture films in the Bronx was Al Leach. the
 camera man of the concern, who was l anxious to save the two instruments he
 was using to photograph scene when
 the explosion started the fire.
 Finding that he had few hundred feet of film left in his camera, he ran to a
 point of vantage, and while engine after
 engine responded to third alarm and
 the flames spread across the street and
 theratened to twipe out all the frame dwellings that make up that part of the ! old village of Wakefield, he stood there.
 calmly turning the crank of his machine.
 It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon and the light was fairly good. As the film reeled in front of the lens 1t caught a picture of scores of the actors, who a
 minute before had been dancing in ball.
 room scene, scrambling out of the build- ing, fremen rushing in, streams of water
 dashing against the doomed building, and finally bursts of flame that shot across the streets, mpelled by, explosions that came repeatedly from inside as the metal
 cans containing thousands of feet of cel- luloid films were reached one after an- other by the flames.
 | Leach said it was habit with him more than anything else, but hours afterward,
 when the big plant and the dwelling next door were a black mass level with the sidewalk and the proprietor was in the ruins sadly saying that the fire repre- sented $150,O00 worth of uninsured loss, he suddenly realized that it had at least given him valuable moving picture film, the first genuine fire picture, with scores actually bent on escape. It was said aft | erward that the fortunate costuming of
 the actors would make this moving pic- | ture play well worth seeing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-10

l tional," said Milton T. Arnold of Wash
 ington. D. C.. but for several years a
 voter in South Carolina. T remember
 the greenback craze, and, of course. the free silver craze of more recent date. These 1sms' soon petered out. In all of the southern states we have had more or less turbulent politics, especially in those years following close after the war. In South Carolina we had reconstruction troubles longer than any other state, I be- lieve. It was not until President Hayes, soon after taking office in 1877. withdrew the federal troops from that unhappy state that the people there had anything like peace But reconstruction days were hardly over when state issues made things hot again and kept them hot It was the same way in Virginia.
 But the latest wave to roll over the south was that known as prohibition in it's ultra form. Like ell isns, it was to be only of comparatively short duration Thousands of men ordinarily level-head- ed were swept off their feet by the pro- hibtion wave, but today I do not find many men who believe in statutory pro- hibition, although I know that a very large proportion of the citizenship of the south believe in true temperance and will do all in their power to keep down the liquor evil Alabama, the state that had the most stringent prohibition laws, is now back in the local option column. I am not student of sociology and am not much given to theorizing, but I marvel sometimes at hysterical waves making progress such as the recent prohibition wave"