El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-09-21

q
~ patch. German surgeon has re-
"A moved a mans stomach, and the
patient has recovered.
This is the most gladstone news that
the world has heard in a. long time, for
the one tyrant with whom 1t has al
ways seemed impossible to cope and
against whom il was hopeless to rebel,
has been the despOt stomach. With the
possibility Of eliminating that life be-
comes a glad, sweet song, and the whole
horizon becomes flooded with sunshine
and joE.
OF course, the proper sort Of a stom-
ach is always g desirable possession,
ana as the fashion writer's say, it IS
still considered good form-eXcept
among women who are not permitted
by the present styles to have either
hips or stOmachs-but II is no longer
a necessary adjunct. A stomach is still
en- regle, but not regular, so to speak.
The Arch Enemy.
This is cheering Information, for here
rOIore mans stomach has been the
enemy that relentlessIy pursued him
from tho cradle to the grave, and from
whom there has been no possibility Of
escape. The newly arrived infants first
tntimatiOn that this is a world OF woe
was impaired to him by his little tum-
my, and from then until his stomach
delivered the knockout blow that laid
him in his coffin he was in perpet-
ual trouble with it.
AS a consequence Of its importance.
ythe stomach has always enjoyed a re-
spect We do not pay to the other or
gans Of the body We can never forget
It, It is always in our minds, and we
are forever trying to cajOle it. or jolly
1t into doing its duty and letting US
alone Futile effort. Our hearts may
be sOftened with pity our heads may
De turned with praise, but the stomach
is insensible alike to 1attery or sympa-
thy. It's evil mission seems to be 10
make trouble in our midst and nothing
turns 1t away from its purpose.
The UnsWervinE Auditor.
It is the arch despOt. Millions can
not bride ii to do another lick Of work
when it decides TO go out on a strike,
or to behave itself in a fitting manner
is the real Nemesis who is always on
a mans track, and IL audits the &C
counts of life with answering justice.
The gay man about town, who has
lived high and rolled high, knows that
though ne may stlfle his conscience
he cannot choke OFF his stomach.
Some day he's got TO settle his account
with II ana pay the price 50 DO those
fashion too houy, and In that hour
though all that he had would a man
give for q new stomach vet shall he
not be able to purchase one.
AS a factor in human health and
happiness, the Importance Of the
stomach IS not to be oven estimated
In reality, all beauty, all pleasure. all
power OF success are merely matter
cheeks Of the belle are simply as
simulated beef and potatoes; armies
have been defeated and the history Of
the world changed because the food
supply gave out and the stomach had
nothing in it.
The Cause Of Pantcs.
The calamity bowler who produces
financial panics is the man whose stom-
ach is out OF order. Melancholy relig-
ions have been founded on dyspepsia
by people who took total indigestion
Tor total depravity.
A vegetarian rs as cold and Clammy
and unlOvable as a turnip. If you want
a man TO get out and hustle you must
feed him. Whether life itself is worth
living or not depends on the liver. and
if the liver and stomach have been
wrong. up to now there has seemed TO
be no hOEe- But this new discovery
opens UP a vista Of unending promise. {
We are no longer to be the victims
of our stomachs- We are TO be masters, :
and If one doesn't behave, all we've got
to do is 10 cut it out Above all, in the
millennium that IS thus promised, we
shall abolish the great American terror, :
dyspepsia Oh, what a difference in Z
the mOrnlno that will makei
A Cheerful Outlook.
Not alone is this so physically. but