Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-02-10
MIGHTY MlNps

Intellectual Powers Develop In the
Darkness.
Some one Tin the darknessl sud-
denly startled:
Have any Of you heard this one?
A Chicago man was showing his city
to visitor from Philadel. hia. He
enowed him the st0ckyards srl the
lake front and the Masonic Tempe
and al of that. but the Philadelphia
t!;dn't enthuse. So finally the Chi
taeo man said: "Well what do you
think of it any way: Don't you
think it's great city?'"
It's big city, of course" said
the Quaker, but it isn't laid out SO
well as Philadelphia
"'No. said the Chicago man. but
maybe it will be when it's been dead
as lcng.'"
Some one else Tin IT,, darkness
snigsered.
when it's what?" asked another
voice.
when It's been dead as long," ex-
plaEed the others. Don't you see?
Whcn it's been dead as long!'
Everybody sniggered.
why" said somebody. "is the
hear OF tree like little dogs rail?"
Il love riddles" said one.
$50 do T. said another.
II give it up" said third.
Because" said Fiddler, ''its the
furthest away from the bark"
"Tee-hee-hee!" cried a merry little
madame.
who threw mush in fathers sace?"
asked an ominous voice.
"Tee-hee-hee!" cried the merry
little madame.
"Who threw the overalls in Mrs
Murphy's chowder?" demanded q
jealous voice.
They all nearly died. Recovering
Tin meaSure). some one took the
lead in that chaste and elegant bal
lad:
I love. 1 love l love my wife
But, oh. you kid!
For my dear wife I'd give my life
But, OH you kid
My WHEY dear is good to me.
A wrong she never did.
love. love, love my wife
But, oh. you kid
Thus Intellectually refreshed one
with a giant mind) remarked:
ooh, pickles."
Whereat a number shouted aloud
with the excruciation Of their merri.
ment. The rest Of them beamed sew.
enteen ways for Sunday.
''Why was Eve nader" asked one
'Who threw mush In father'i
face?" demanded THE ominous voice
'Tee-hee-hee!" cried the company
In chorus.
well, why was Eve made" asked
who threw the overalls in Mrs
Murphys chowder?" insisted the jeal-
Gus voice.
well, why was Eve made?" asked
one (after mirth had partly subsided.)
For Adams express company"
0dy. CAC4oAuA0U OIL CAOAIO0 tOACC
why does the United States Express
60. have white horses to pull their
wagons? No. not that! This is it:
Why does the United States Express
Co. have white horses?"
ooh. pickles!" cried the picker.
Everybody laughed again.
who threw mush in fathers face?"
demanded the ominous voice.
One little girl choked and they had
to pat her back.
''Who threw the overalls in Mrs
Murphy's chowder?" asked the peal
GUS voice.
They didn't applaud this as much
as its predecessor (no one had to be
patted on the back, either) and the
mush man put on airs.
'This," said one, aside, lis Hive,
jolly crowd"
"That's what is it." said another
eagerly.
"I,ll tell you what we'll do" cried
a third. Lets play 'Sneeze.' I'll cunt
5, ard when I say g. you oyor here
yell out 'Hish!' and you over there
yell out 'Hash!' and the res. vi us
will yell out tHosh!' Now, then! One!
Two! Three!"
They sneezed with tremendous ef.
feet, and as the distant Halls caught
the sound the echoes wonderingly re-
marked to the trees:
"And you know. they all Fave i'm
mortal souls!"-New York. Sun.