Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-12

ION was practically ready. After
working about an hour on II, he had
managed to arrange his white pun tie
to his entire satisfaction. He had but.
toned and unbIttoned his waistcoat
until his thumbs were blistered He
had pulled it down in front and
buckled it at the back until the seams
threatened to give way.
Il say, cid Eian," he yelled at the
bathroom door, do you believe in pre-
sentiments?"
Bet l do" screamed the best man.
Got one now"
What's that?" shrieked Tom.
A shaggy head appeared at the door
and enid tb9 soapsuds came this.
I've a preseniment that this is going
to be a jolly cold proposition"
What. my marriage?"
What conceited ass you are, Tom.
/ had reference to my shower"
The door closed just in time to re-
ceive a well-aimed boot.
BY II the men were ready and on
their way to the house. As they neared
it, Tom became more and more nerv-
Gus. There seemed to be weight On
his heart that he could not lift Al
tsat moment the best man was hang.
ing out the cab window, cursing the
driver for the snail-like pace they were
pursuing.
Il say, Cabby, this is a wedding that
we are going to, not a funeral. I'll give
you an extra half dollar if you hurry.
AN extra half, is it? You talk like
a politician. Well, sir, you might cor,
rupt me, but this horse can't be bribed
and weddin's or funerals, his gait is
all the same. Rest easy while you can
sir-the lady will drive you fast
enough once she gets the reins"
The best man was about to rail al
the Irish as a nation, when Tom said:
IF anything should happen"
Jumping Jupiter. Tom, brace up.
You look as If you had curvature OF
the spine. Pull yourself together, will
you? Any girl that had such a look.
ing object as you on her calling list
would be ostracized by good society
and one who would marry you would
be declared mentally incompetent"
"All right, I'll pull up. but I've q
beastly idea that something is going
wrong. Jack, old man, l can't do it
I'm in love with Edna Cross and not
with Eleanor I've just begun to real
ize it."
You old poacher, then why did you
ask Eleanor to marry you. when you
knew that have loved her all my life.
and have been trying to forget hei
for months? Night after night 1 went
over and sat with Edna, trying to make
myself think was forgetting Eleanor
"And every night" said Tom, %
went to see Eleanor because you were
over at Edna's and l had no right tc
trespass on your preserves. 4 nice
mess we've made of 1t. What are We
going to do?"
do? Why, that's easy enough" as
sured Jack. Il am going to be thk
groom and you can just slide back into
my boots as best man. Well blame
the whole thing on the printer. Trust
me, old man. said I'd see you through
this ordeal, and Pm going TO keep mJ
word"
AS the cab finally reached the house
the men stepped out and were usherec
into the room where the minister wal
waiting for them No word of explana
ton was uttered, and the men tool
their places by the minister, who w9
to pronounce them man and wife. The
wedding march was played and al
Eleanor in her gorgeous robes camG
forth to meet the man of her choice
Jack Winston stepped forth and of
fered her his arm. Eleanor was speech
less, but too happy to resent. and be
fore the gaping crowd the minister
tied the knot that made them one It'll
death do them part"
Then Jack began his explanations:
Simplest thing in the world" hi
said you see, Tom ordered the in
vitations, and of course the printel
took it for granted that it was his
wedding-merely a typographical er
ror, nothing more"
Eleanors mother stepped in at thi
moment and with a naughty manne
Incurred:
Then may ask why Tom gave thu
bachelor dinner-why Tom bought th'
ring?"
YES. mother" said Jack, with {
very proprietary manner. You see,
was broke at the time, and Tom, a.
you all know, is just loaded witt
money, so l gave him carte blanche Il
just go ahead as if it was his own wed
ding and I'd pay him back in goot
time. You see. only came into m!
inheritance yesterday, and that wouls
have been too late to order invitations
give dinners, etc. Anyway, how coult
you ever think that Tom was goini
tn marry Eleanor? Why, he's engages
to marry Edna, and If you don't be
lieve me, ask them for yourself.
tell you it was typographical error
nothing more"