davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
HAD BEEN SILENT SUFFERER
Subordinate Officer the Recipient of
Hints Intended for His
Superior.

A sea captains wife tells this story
of a maiden woman, sister of one OF
the owners of the ship on which she
once made a long voyage. She had
very decided opinion on most matters.
and she and the captain had many
spirited arguments at the dinner table.
The captains wife, a meek. submits
sive little soul, fearing that in the
heat of argument her husband might
say something to offend this august
passenger, was in the habit of kick
ing him on the shins to hint at moder-
alton Nevertheless, all these remind
ers passed unheeded.
One day she administered more
vigorous kick than usual, and noticed
an expression of pain fit across the
face of the mate. who sat opposite
her
oh, Mr.. Brown, was that your
shin?" she asked.
Yes, Mrs. Blaikie," said the mate,
meekly, hits been my shin hall the
Jovage, ma ''-Youth's Companion.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
WANTED TO SLEEP
Curious That Tired Preacher Should
Have Such Desire.

A minister speaks of the curious ef
feet Of Grape-Nuts food on him and
how 1t has relieved him.
You will doubtless understand how
the suffering from indigestion with
which l used to be troubled made my
work an almost uncomfortable burden;
and why 1t was that after my Sabbath
duties had been performed, sleep was
a stranger to my pillow till nearly
daylight.
Il had to be very careful as to what
[ ate, and even with all my care e1-
perienced poignant physical distress
after meals, and my food never salts
fed me-
"Since l began the use of Grape
Nuts the benefits l have derived from
1t are very definite, no longer suffer
from indigestion, and I began to i'm
prove from the time Grape-Nuts ap-
peared on our table.
Il find that by eating dish Of this
food after my Sabbath work is done.
land l always do so now my nerves
are quieted and rest and refreshing
sleep are ensured me.
81 feel that I could not possibly do
without Grape-Nuts food, now that
know itS value 1t is invariably on our
table-we feel that we need it to make
the meal complete and our children
will eat Grape-Nuts when they cannot
be persuaded to touch anything else"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Michigan.
Read the famous booklet, THE Road
to MELVILLE" in pkgs. There's a
Reason"
Ever read the above letter. new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, sad full Of human
interest.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Willing to Support Proxy.

Albert Tiedemann, freshman of
the University of Pennsylvania, was
called upon to vote for officers in a
recent gathering Not being well &C.
auainted with the nominees, he
thoughtfully hesitated before filing
out his ballot.
One of the company left the room
with the explanation that he would
vote by proxy"
so will l." said Albert, and with
his pencil poised above his paper
leaned over to a companion on his
right and asked:
Say, what's Proxy's first name@
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
a Eeartiess Father.

IT need some help with my house
hold duties" announced woman
when her husband came home the
other night.
whats the matter with our daugh'
ter?" the husband wanted to know.
Our daughter? The idea! Why,
Jim, you know she's awfully delicate
and she would die If she had to do
any household work. She has her
school, and"
And what? Her teachers report
shows that she isn't doing bit OF
school work"
But she is the star member of her
basketball team, and you know she is
eager to take the prize at the gym
nasium contest. But that's just like
a man-wanting delicate girl to en-
gage in rough, hard labor. Be ashamed
of yourself, Jim Jenkins! You have
no feeling"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
The New Disease.


What are his symptoms?" asked
the doctor to whom the mother OF
the young person has come for ad
vice.
He seems to have an insane desire
10 buy post cards. Why, it's worse
than the cigarette habit with him. He
buys two or three dozen of them every
day and sends them off by mail. H
dreams about post cards. he talks
about post cards, and unless he Is
given the opportunity to buy and mail
as many of them as he likes he al
most goes into collapse. ! am afraid
ais heart is affected. he gets so nerv-
GUS and excited when he is crossed in
his wishes in that respect"
Yes" says the physician, thought
fully rubbing his eyeglasses The
symptoms you mention indicate card
lac disturbances. We might call them
postcardiac."
Without a smile he writes a pre-
scription for something that will taste
like the gum on the back of stamp.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
loo Slick.

T1nAe-~G1axlG
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
deaf" BEGGAR COULD HEAR
Being Along Slightly Humor-
GUS Lines.

Many funny things happen in 4
fiat during the course of a few
months" said a Milwaukee fiat dwell
er. but one of the best things / ever
saw happened yesterday.
Il was suddenly reused from my
slumber by three loud knocks on the
door. Jumping to my feet and into a
bathrobe, fastened to see what was
wanted l opened the door In time
to see young fellow. half way up the
flight to the next floor.
Hello, there!' l yelled at him.
HE turned around, fastened back
and handed out small envelope,
pointing to the inscription. l glanced
at it. 1t was an appeal for aid be-
cause the applicant was deaf and
dumb.
Say, l was mad enough to kick him
down stairs. Then the joke struck
me and l slammed the door in his face
and went back to bed laughing"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Knew the Sex.

Sir" said the eminent woman's
rights agitatress to the celebrated geog-
rapher Il have called to protest
against your unfair discrimination"
In what way, madam" asks the
geographer. looking up from the map
on which he is marking the new bound
aries of Manchuria
You do not give proper recognition
to my sex in the names you give to
countries and places. For instance.
you have the Isle of Man. and there is
no Isle of Woman"
Your complaint is perfectly just,
madam" courteously says the geog-
rapher, land the difficulty you speak Of
shall be remedied in the next geog
raphies. We shall rave an III Of
Man" and an I'll Not of Woman"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

Miss Rose she up shuk huh haid
En- low she tiahed O. weahin'
Desc same OILS blooms ontil she's daid.
En- Mistah Phlox come teahin
Erroun' de plot en- say his say!
rs thoo wild dis OIL blossom"
He say: Hits out o style terday-
Let's take dem off en- toss EN-"
Den Mistah Phlox en- young Miss Rose
Dey rouse up all de tuddehs :
En- shout: Come on! Let's git new clo'es.
Pc sistehs en- po' bruddehs!''
Miss Lily she ak TO new styles,
En- Mo'nin' Glory, whinin'.
Say: Bet Use done a million miles
Dess climbin' up en- twinin'."
Den OF Mis- Apple Tree say: Hush!
You moughty foolish chillun.
Don't go at dis in sech rush
Yo's all O. yo too willin'."
But, huh! Dey don't heah huh at all.
Dey mex dey leaves all freckled,
Miss Daisy clomb up on de wall
En- sit dab. red en- speckled!
Out come de ladies-den. oompooh!
I tell yo' dey Is fussin'.
Dey scor dem f1owehs thoo en- thoo
Amos lax menfolks cussin.
Dey say Miss Rose Is plum gone DAT
En- Mistah Phlox Is silly.
En- all O. dem dess laff en- lafr
When dey look at Miss Lily.
De 'cIusion yo' mus draw fun dis
Is dat de bes' to do is
To do yo' bes' en- neveh miss
De chance to be whut true Is.
In co'se de f1owehs made folks smile
When dey all changed dey trimmin-
Dey didn't know dat changin' style
Wuz on'y meant fob wimmen!
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
"The Bard of Odon."

Rev. George F. CuImer, the bard
of Odon," celebrated his eighty-sixth
birthday yesterday. Rev. Mr.. Gunner
was born May %, 1925, in, Kent, Eng
land, during the reign of George Fred
erick> George W., for whom he was
named. At the time of his birth John
Quincy Adams was president Of the
United States.
DR.. Culmer has been a minister for
many years in the Methodist Episco-
pal church until his advanced age
made 1t necessary for him to retire.
He Is a scholar and poet. Many of
his poems have been published In mag
azines and Observation-Disclosures
Correspondence Indianapolis News.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Historic Event Celebrated.

Australia recently commemorated
the one hundred and forty-first ami
versary Of Captain Cooks first land
ing. 1t was in ITO that H. nj. S. En-
deavor, barque of $40 tons, entered
the inlet first called Sting Rays Har-
Dor, but afterwards Botany Bay. from
the beauty and variety of the plants
growing about its shore. The vessel
remained eight days. and before she
left the British flag was hoisted. AS
is the custom on each recurring ami
versary, the flag was again unfurled
upon the spot where 1t was first dis
played, and was saluted by the guns
of the warships in the harbor
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

Memory Lngers breakfast IS
started with POST TOASTlES.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
The Old Gao.

Miss Lillian B. Rowe, at an adver-
tisement writer's dinner in Denver.
said of the harem skirt:
1T will soon be SO widely worn
that the old gag, perpetrated in the
'40s on men. may profitably be re-
vived for women victims.
Some sharper, you know, will re-
vive the gag by advertising in the
Ladies' Own
"'Send 81 and learn how to keep
your harem skirt from becoming
fringed at the bottom
Thousands Of dollars will pour in,
ard to each victim the sharper will
reply:
Wear knickers.'"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Dress.

Ii man prefers the kind of clothes
he can jump into and wears another
only under compulsion;
While woman prefers such
clothes as she cannot put on without
toll and trouble and the expenditure
of time, and will, unless under com
pulsion, wear nothing else;
Then what of permanent equality
Is it going to avail for the law to
call the sexes back to the tape and
start them all over again Puck.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Cause and Effect.

The only thing that opposes man
is the negative human law. If this did
not obtain man would be restored to
his pristine condition as a spiritual
ego. Man is not depraved because he
wants to be, but because his mind is
human, mortal and finite. he has no
option than to express a correspond
ing condition. He is under the law of
cause and effect.-Rev F. E. Mason,
Scientist Boston
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

smashed.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
herrH Picture
T>f1s ~ tf1N.x

pounds. For year l was practically
m invalid. From the time | started
asing Doan's Kidney Pills, improved
until completely cured. l believe
would be in my grave were it not for
this wonderful medicine"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price 5oc.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Tea Time In Chile.

Either tea or yerba mate is served
in Chile at 400 p. M, not only in the
homes but at clubs, restaurants and
hotels, and many business houses. A
cup of tea and roll or small cake in
the club or hotel cost from eight to
twelve cents United States gold
while the business houses serve it
free rather than have the clerks leave
thir work or go out for it.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
The Worth of the Voice.

How wonderful Is the human voice!
The intellect of man sits enthroned
visibly upon his forehead and in his
eye, and the heart Of man Is written
upon his countenance. But the soul
reveals itself in the voice only; as
God revealed himself to the prophet
of old in the still, small voice, and in
the voice from the burning bush. The
soul of man is audible, not visible
A sound alone betrays the flowing OF
the eternal fountain, invisible to man
-Longfellow: Hyperion.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
couIdn,t Sec the Resemblance.

Couldn't See the Resemblance.
They have been joking Assistant
Treasurer James A. Mathews OF the
Guardian bank, on his resemblance to
President Taft, and Mr.. Mathews has
steadily refused to be annoyed there
by So the jokers subsidized and the
joke died a natural death
Until the other night, when Mr.. and
Mrs Mathews dined together with
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Harmon and their
little daughter, when the Taft resem-
blance was revived. Turning to young
Miss Harmon, Mr.. Mathews asked
whether she, too, thought he looked
like the president
Dorothy studied long and earnestly.
Then she answered.: &
Not in the face. Uncle Jim."-
Cleveland Leader
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
He Got the Pass.

II want a pass.
Pass? You're not entitled to q
pass. You are not an employee.
Sorry"
No; but here the anti-pass law
says free transportation can be grant
ed to necessary caretakers of live
stock, poultry and fruit Well. I'm
going on this trip with an aunt that's
hen-there's. your poultry; girl
that's a peach-there's your fruit:
and a nephew that's a mule-there's
your live stock. Gimme a pass
The Way-Bill.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
The Kaiser Likes the RihIe

The kaiser is great reader, and
while he tries to keep himself
abreast of current events, his favo-
rite book is the Bible. says the Lon
don Chronicle. A we'll thumbed and
marked copy is always by his bed
side When Mr.. Roosevelt visited
Berlin last year, the kaiser made him
present of a number of books.
About half of them referred to theol-
ogy and the others to military sub
jects These two classes indicate
the kaiser's own preferences.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Free to Our Readers.

Write Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
for 4S-page illustrated Eye Book Free.
Write all about Your Eye Trouble and
they will advise as to the Proper Applica-
ton of the Murine Eye Remedies in Your
that Murine Relieves Sore Eyes, Strength
ems Weak Eyes. Doesn't Smart, Soothes
Eye Pain. and sells for soc. Try 1t in
Your Eyes and In Baby's Eyes for Scaly
Eyelids and Granulation.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Old Superstition.

It was prescribed by an old super
stition that If those who were affect
ed with .ague would visit at dead Of
night the nearest crossroad five diff
ferent times and then bury a new
laid egg, the disease would be buried.
If the experiment fsiled, they at
tributed it to some unlucky accident
that may have befallen them on the
way.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
First Aid.

George AIDE, at luncheon In Chi
cago, paid gallant compliment to a
well-known actress.
The actress wore harem skirt OF
the new fame color and Mr.. AIDE said
to her:
ct is pretty. And what an odd
color it is! Tell me the name of the
color"
"Flamme de Vesuve-fiame of We
suvius," the actress answered.
BE jabers," said Mr.. AIDE, "ys
make a vurry purity crater"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
UusuaIIy the Case.

1T is awful" moralized the profess
sor, Ito see how some coquettish WON
en- will lead man on"
Lead him on" exclaimed the dam
sci. I've noticed that after man
has followed a woman until she eludes
him he sets up the plea that he was
led"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
When Fate Mocks.

TOO bad about joe"
whats the matter?"
He sprained his arm and they are
afraid he can never pitch again, so his
folks are going to make doctor or
something of that sort out of him."
Be not angry that you cannot make
others as you wish them to be. since
you cannot make yourself what yos
wish to be.-Thomas A. Kempis.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Intricate Letter.

When Bilkins was away from home
on long business trip, he got letter
from his wife that still puzzles him.
1t ended thus:
Baby is well and lots brighter than
she used to be. Hoping you are the
same, remain, your loving wife,
Everybody's.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Use of Ants In Mature.

Prof J. C. Branner, in the bulletin
of the Geological Society of America,
describes the immense Importance OF
ants as geologic agents, especially in
tropical regions. Ant burrows have
been found at a depth Of 35 meters.
and they ramify over vast areas.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

Il won't play poker with that fellow
any more. He isn't honest. He bobbed
up on the last round with four aces"
whats wrong about that"
81 dealt him four queens''-Ex
change.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Outdone.

Willis-I'm raising 500 chickens on
a five-foot lot.
Gillis-Thats nothing. You ought
to see the relatives my wife is taking
care of in our fat-Puck.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
A SUGGESTION.

"If the sea had milky way as well
as the skv wouldn't 1t be convenient
fer the sailors?"
I'm what way?"
They could have floating dairies
rhen their boets skinned the waves"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

hlu1SJ 6lFO SAA y
the kidneys need.
Mrs. E. C. Tillman,
Franklin Pike, Lewis
burg. Tenn, says:
MY kidneys were in
terrible shape and l
suffered intensely.
My back ached and l
felt all worn out. l
seemed to be running
into dropsy and my
weight dropped IS
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

TO DRIVE OUT MALARIA
AND BUILD W THE SYSTEM
CHILL TONIC. You know what you arc ia king.
The formula is plainly printed on every bottle,
showing 1t is simply Ouinine and Iron n q ia Ste
less form. The Quinine drives out the u1alarti
and the iron builds up the system, Sold by al:
dealers for 30 years. Price 90 cents.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
DrAtfv Guick-

He-But couldn't you learn to love
me, Anna?
She-I don't think could, Harry
He Preaching for his haiti is IS
l feared-you are too old to learn
Harper's Bazaar.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
RE. Curiosity.

They say Flossie announced her
engagement to Mr.. Gatsap before he
had proposed to her"
Yes She said she wasn't going to
accept him until she knew how her
friends would regard her engagement"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
EatherIy Advice.

Now that you are married, my son,
listen to me-
What is it. dad?'
Try to be a husband, not merely
an eX-bachelor."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
Some Day Ask
Your Physician

To tell you tho curious story of how tho mind
affects the digestion of food
refer to the condition the mind IS In, Just
before, at the time, or Just following the taking
of food.
fhe has been properly educated (fhe major
hy have he will help you understand the curious
machinery of digestion.
To start you thinking on this interesting
subject, will try TO lay out the plan In general
way and you can then follow into more minute
details.
Pawlow pronounce Pavloff) famous Russian Ply
stefan and Chemist, experimenting on some dogs. cut
into the tube leading from the throat to the stomach
They were first put under chloroform some other
anaesthetic the operation painless. They were
kept for months in very good condition.
When quite hungry un-appetizing food was
placed before them and although hunger forced them
to eat by analysis of the contents OF the
that little if any Of the digestive juices were
found
Then contrast, meat put where they
couldn't reach it once, and little time allowed for
the minds of the dogs anticipate and create an
petite When the food finally given them they de-
youred it ravenousy and with every evidence OF sat
isfacton The food passed out into dish through
the opening before 1t reached the stomach 1t was
found to be mixed with "Ptyaln" the alkaline juice of
the mouth which is important for the first step in d.
geston Then an analysis made of the contents of
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
The Pessimist.

= took my little son to the Repub-
lican convention" said the optimistic
man. and ! am going to take him to
the Democratic one, too. | want him
to see how the work of a great party
is carried on. | tell him he may grow
day"
Huh" growled the pessimistic
friend. why didn't you warn him
that if he isn't careful he'll grow up
to have a vice presidential boom one
Of these days."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

Hicks CAPUDINE is the best remedy-re-
lieves the aching and observation-disclosures the
Cold and restores normal conditions. It's
liquid-effects Immediately. 10c., 25c., and Soc.
At drug stores.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

A half truth always seems more i'm
pregnable than a many-sided view; a
liberal is always at disadvantage In
contention with a dogmatist
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

Post-There are as good fish in the
sea as ever were caught.
Parker-Hm! | guess you haven't
heard Thompson's latest fish story
Harper's Bazaar.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

ADVICE
TO WOMEN

Women suffering from any form OF
Illness are invited to promptly com.
municate with Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn,
Mass. All letters are received, opened,
read and answered by women. A wo-
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30
ARE YOUR KIDNEYS WEAKf

Thousands suffer from sick or weak
sue6 kidneys without knowing the
eause If you have backache, head
lche, urinary disorders, look to your
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

Bore-Do you believe oysters have
brains?
Bored-Certainly | do, since they
know when to shut up.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-30

DIR. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate
and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels.
Sugar-coated, tiny granules, easy to take
as candy.