davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
4 white HOUSE JEST.
General Harrison's Objections
Monuments to "vest."


As general thing, one Of the first
duties of the wife of all incoming pres
ident and one of the things she usual
Iy enjoys heartily is to attend to such
arrangements and refurniShingS Of
the White House as may he necessary
or advisable according Ia her person.
al taste, the size and customs Of Der
family, and SO on.
l remember one occasion, writes
Colonel William II. Crook i'm the Phil
adelphia Saturday Evening Post. when
Mrs. Harrison had finally decided
upon some slight architectural changes
and had brought her architects plans
to the president and asked his opinion
of them. General Harrison studied
the drawings with care and noticed
that several inches were left. each
plaini, marked. At last he said:
swell, my dear. here is a place for
Lincoln, and here is a place for
Grants bust. And you have left
three places for Vest" Then he add
ed, with well assumed indignation, Il
am decidedly opposed to SO many
monuments to Vest-in the White
House,
Mrs. Harrison FASTENED to explain
what her husband. Of course. knew all
the time-that the word 'Vest." was
the architects contraction for vesti-
bule, of which there were three on the
plans, whereupon the president said
he was satisfied and handed the draw
ings back to her, with twinkle in his
keen blue eyes.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
A Fierce ANATHEMA.
The Pious Wish . Woman Flung At
Jean Paul Richter.

The Pious Wish q Woman Flung At
Jean Paul Richter.
Jean Paul Richter once observed
that if a lady officer wanted to give
the word "Haltr' she would do it in
the following strain: You soldiers, all
of you, now mind what say. 1 order
you as soon as 1 have done speaking
to stand still, every one Of you. on the
spot where you happen to he. Don't
you hear me? Halt, I sly, all Of you!"
Upon this a strong minded woman
made the following comment: 'NOw.
NJ. Jean, it was an unlucky day on
which you wrote that sentence. May
you never hear anything but that lit
tie. concise word No from every rosy
pair of lips you meet. May you halt
wifeless through life. May your but
tons be snappish, your strings knotty
and your stockings full Of holes. May
your bootjack be missing, your feet
corny and your shaving water cold,
your razor dull, your hair stand up.
your collar lie down. May your beard
be porcupiny, your whiskers thinly
settled and your mustache curl the
wrong way. May your coffee be mud
dy, your toast smoky and your tea
water bewitched. and, with never
dying desire for affection. may You
crawl through creation a meek. miser-
able. nasty, forlorn. fidgety, fussy, RI
diculous, ruined, detected old bachelor"
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
MEDICAL RESEARCH.

Romance ct ths Discovery - ~
causs q Malaria.
In the history Of research are mAny
romances. OF the discovery that ma
laria was caused BY mosquitoes. It b
related how DR.. Low and d.. Sam
bon lived In the malarious Roman
Campagna without quinine. They Ne
tired ut sunset to q mosquito proof
hut. with double doors and Window
Of wire net. and they did not leave I'M
I'll sunrise. The fact that they r.
NAMED immune, while the attendants.
sleeping outside. contracted malaria.
confirmed the belief that the mos
Quitoes were responsible.
But how did they carry the diseased
At first It was thought to be BY wa
ter. To settle the question live mos
quitoes which had bitten infected
peasants were sent home and two
members Of the school submitted to
be bitten by them. They both went
down with malaria. Again. how did
the mosquitoes transmit the germ3
By cutting sections Of the proboscis
the malarious parasite was found It
breaks through the skin Of the probo-
sis and IS transmitted at the time Of
the sting. From the first conjecture
to the final proof was series Of care
full experiments. ending with the slic-
ing Of the mosquitoes proboscis. Now.
this IS finer than fine hair. Il u nee.
essary to stop to think. For It Il cas-
Ter to imagine the triumph Of the
proof than the delicate operation that
produced it.-London Standard.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
HER HOMEMADE RAT.

lt 0reusht . Proposal Thst Che
Promptly Turned Down.
The bohemians were making merry
In the dim lit studio discussing the lat
est novel that one Of their number was
trying to write. the brutal editor who
had refused the best article evG writ.
ten-a masterpiece Of the hostile.
moaning the nonintelligence OF the art
critics, execrating the mercenary the
atrical manager and utterly repudlat.
ing the general public-the vast horde
Of the Philistines BY way Of diversion
the painter Of pastel portraits said to
the bachelor maid:
That's q charming hat you have on.
Who else would know enough to com
bine turquoise and old rose? You have
q genius for color. What q pity you
only writer
"Glad you like my hat. anyway. ]
made It myself. I trust It will only
enhance its merit In your eyes to know
that It cost me but 50 cents"
"Impossible!' screamed all the bohe-
ul0uS VIII Vuc OSS0Sos SSo0AA6 SAsSAA
arguments in order to take notice Of
the vastly becoming creation which
capped the bachelor maids brown hair.
Fifty cents, did you say?" asked the
man who once wrote q poem-aye, and
had It published. Then rising, placing
his hand above his heart, bowling low
and solemnly, he said: Fair one. will
you be my wife? All my life I have
been looking for q woman who could
trim her own hats for nothing. Pray
be mine"
Mixer sc0ffed the bachelor maid
cruelty. AL my life have been look.
ing for q man who would be willing
and able to pay $50 for my hats
New York Press
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
FIGHTING LlFE's Battle.


Of Things That Must es Done Tackle
the Hardest First.
I know q very successful man who
early in life resolved that no matter
how hard anything might be or how
seemingly impossible for him to do he
would do it II the doing would prove
Of value to him, says Orison SWEET
Marden in Success Magazine. He
made this the test and would never
allow his moods or feelings to stand
in the way Of his judgment. He
forced himself in the habit Of prompt
~ doing everything, no matter how
disagreeable. II 1t would further his
advancement
People who consult their moods.
their preferences or their ease never
make q great success In life. 1t IS the
man who gets a firm grip on himself
and forces himself to do the thing that
will ultimately be best for him who
succeeds. The man who goes through
life picking out the flowers and avoid.
ing the thorns IN his occupation. al
ways doing the easy thing first and
delaying or putting OF altogether II
possible the hard thing. does not de-
velop the strength that would enable
him to do hard things when necessity
forces them upon him.
1t is pitiable to see young men and
women remaining far below the place
where their ability ought to have car
ried them Just because they dislike to
do disagreeable things until compelled
to. The best way always IS to tackle
the hardest things first.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
BALANCE.

Enor and evil are located IN DE-
6e;ency o. exeesA Even ezee,: N
virtue IS evil, an ezcess q hum6ty
being abjectnes: Of courage. rash,
ness: Of prudence. cox.r6ee; d
patience. indifference: Of economy.
par.imony: Of generosity. waste: and
20 also an excess Of leaning IS
pedanhy: Of ease. incidence: q
comfort. sef indulgence; # zeal.
fana6cism. Right and justice are
found IN moderation. m the golden
mean. in the tue balance. between
ovedons and nderdons.-Ot-
lando ]. Smith.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
Red Letter Days.

The origin of ~red letter day" has
been traced back to the third century.
Gregory. bishop Of Caesarea. jealous
for the conversion Of pagans. found
them unwilling to give up their Gus
tomary recreations at the festivals Of
their gods. so. taking . leaf out Of
their book. he instituted festivals In
honor Of saints and martyrs. This ex-
ample soon led to the institution Of
holy days. now corrupted into holi-
days. In old almanacs all such holy
days were set forth in red ink. the
rest being in black: hence the term
red letter day" for any notable occa-
sion. Others say that the origin Of the
expression IS much more recent and Is
due to the fact that Saints day. the
9Th Of November. the kings birthday
and accession and King Charles day
were similarly marked OF in red As
holidays for the Bank Of England, evil
IDENTIFY in the times of the later Stuarts.
London Telegraph.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
Political Animositi0s.

Political animosities today are sell
dom carried into private life. In the
past Just the opposite was the rule.
Cooke Of Norfolk" once stated that
when he was a child bis grandfather
took him on his knee and said. "Now,
remember. Tom. As long as you live
never trust q Tory" and he used to
add. II never have. and, by George. I
never will" G. W. E. Russell. too.
tells Of an eccentric maiden lady whom
he knew in his youth who. having
spent her life In the innermost circles
Of aristocratic Whiggery. always re-
fused to enter q cab until she had ex-
torted from the driver IN assurance
that he had never carried cases Of In
fictitious disease. that he was not a
Puseyite and that he was Whig.-
London Graphic.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
AN UNREAD REPORT.
The Methods Of Barney 8arnate ln HE
MininQ Ventures.

The Methods Of Barney 0arnato IN He
Mining Ventures.
Barney Barnato before the tragic
termination Of his career was widely
known because Of his large fortune
won in mining ventures. His rapid
accumulation of wealth was popularity
attributed to luck, but luck Of the per-
sistent variety usually rests upon
more solid basis than mere chance.
An insight to Barnato's methods Il At
fortled by an incident recently related
by A. A. Blow. an American engineer
once in Barnato's employ. After an
exhaustive examination Of a mine
whose purchase was under considera-
ton Blow prepared an elaborate and
vOluminous report. 1t was accompa-
MED by maps and selections and was
q piece Of work of which the engineer
felt that he could be Justly proud.
When it was handed to Barnato to
read. however. the latter laid 1t aside
unopened.
Tell me about it." he said.
Blow proceeded to make an oral re-
port
Barnato dozed. Finally he exclaim-
ed:
81 employed you because I think you
know something about this business.
and I do not. Now. I do not want to
hear all Of this scientific rot about this
mine. All I want you to tell me Is
whether It IS good businessT
Blow told him "No."
Then that settles it." said Barnato.
"You are willing to accept the respon-
sibility of turning down this property
at the price offered?"
"Yes." was Blows reply, but ]
want you to examine the reports, maps.
assays. plans. ETC.. and see the rea-
sons I have for my conclusions"
"Why should do this" Barnato in
quired. "You tell me that It Is not
good business And as I cannot I'M
derstand your report why should
waste my time on anything that is not
good business?"-Moody's Magazine.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
LIGHTING By GAS.
Il Was . Costly Process When Il Was
First Established.

Il Was . Costly Process When Il Was
First Established.
The first incorporated gas company
was the National Light and Heat Com
pany of England. established In 1909.
In America the first gas company was
Incorporated in Baltimore In 1916, the
second one in Boston in 1892, and the
next one was the New York Gaslisht
company. Incorporated in 1923
Prior to 1880 the gas business Of this
country was nominal. but the price
probably was responsible for its slow
Development From 1924 to 1898. says
Moody's Magazine. the New York Gas
light company sold gas to consumers
at the rate Of $40 q thousand cubic
feet.
The first artificial Illuminating gas
was produced in England about 1728
by one DR.. Hales. but not until 178G
was n practical test made. In that
year the Earl Of Dundonald Of Scot
land arranged an apparatus by which
he lighted his castle with gas. The
same year William Murdoch Of Biz.
mlnsham. England. introduced gas as
q light In his workshops at Redruth
and Cornwall.
As Mr.. Murdoch was the first man
to reap any commercial benefit from
the discovery Of the use Of illuminat-
ing gas, he may properly be accredited
as the father Of modern public utili-
ties. In 1913 London bridge was illu-
minated by gas. and five years later
gas was In general use throughout the
main part Of London.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
1oo Public For Him.

He was q mild hammered little man.
short, with gray hair and spectacles.
It was noon ON Washington street.
and, as usual. the crowds were shov-
ing and pushing to get somewhere.
The little man was trying to worm his
way through the crowds.
A well dressed woman. ACCOMPANIED
BY q small boy, was mixed up in the
crowd. She wanted to cross the street
The boy stopped to look in window.
The lady reached down and grasped
q hand, saying, Take my hand, dear"
mot right here on the public street"
she was startled to hear some one re-
ply.
Looking down, she saw that she was
clasping the hand Of the very fnoffen-
sive little man, who seemed to be
much confused and embarrassed.
"Sir," she said haughtily, 81 don't
want you. I want my son."-Boston
Traveller.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
The Ns,S and Old cseleax.

In its early history geology present.
ed two schools-One insisting on doc
trine Of 'catastrophes," the other on
q doctrine Of uniformity" The for.
mer regarded the changes which have
manifestly taken place in our planet
as having occurred at epochs abruptly,
while the other school, repOsing on
the great principle Of the invariability
Of the laws OF nature, insisted that af.
fairs had always gone on in the same
way as they do now. 1t is hardly
necessary to say that the latter theory
has driven the old theory Of catastro.
phe completely from the held--New
York American.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11

DO You believe In making q genu-
lection before you enter your pew?s
asked Mrs. Oldcastle.
Mercy. nor replied her hostess as
she necked a bit Of dust from the
1900 grand piano. III I have eenu-
Elections to make about people I n.
ways do e outside Of church.-Chi.
eag0 Record Herald.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
GENIAL SMILE.

smlea 1t cos, the siver nothing.
but j. beyond price to the erins and
relenaing. the sad and cherries.
the lost and foraker. 1t disarms
malice. subdues temper. turns ha-
hed into love and psves the dark
ct paths with sunlight.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
When the Press was Restricted.


Many Of the restrictions that ham
pered the influence Of the press re-
manned In force until the close Of the
eighteenth century in England. Itwas
not till that period that newspapers
obtained the right to criticise the poll
cy Of ministers and Of the king. Mr..
Walter, the first editor Of the London
Times. was prosecuted for censuring
the Duke Of York. He was sentenced
to pay q fine Of $3.50. stand In the pill
lory for an hour. be imprisoned for a
year and give security for his good be-
havior for seven years. The order
with regard to the pillory was can
celetl. but he had to serve his term In
fail.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11

change think Of the money we mer-
chants would make"
We all have our troubles" said the
magazine publisher. Sometimes 1t
frets me to have to print any reading
matter. but I suppose 1t must be done"
kansas City Journal
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
Her 0lun0er.

"What makes YOU think she's uncul.
tured:''
''She thinks Ibsen's plays are stupid"
well, a lot Of people think So
yes, but she says sO."-Cleveland
Leader.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
To Say and to Do.

do you wish to so to church this
evening? Father is going to preach,
you know" the minister's fair daugh-
ter asked.
The young man considered.
I'm! The last time went he rath-
er fell on some Of my small failings.
Do you know what his text will be to-
nightT
Yes; Love one another"
He regarded the round pink cheek
approvingly.
Suppose" he suggested softly, that
we let the old gentleman 60 preach.
while we sit here and practice:"-Lip-
nincott's
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
Al Fixed.

Il think I'll propose at the party to-
night"
mo. you won't"
why won't II
MY sister knows the young lady In
question, and It has been arranged for
you to propose at the ball next week. !"
kansas City Journal
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
Same 1hinQ.

Mr.. Simpson was reading the news
paper. Here's q Chicago man got
into a drunken brawi and was stab
bed to DEATH" he said aloud.
His wife glanced up from her knit
ing and commented. I'm SONS low
saloon, I suppose"
mo. The paper says hs got stabbed
In the th0racic cavity"
Same thing. You'd think the %
ice would close such place up."-Na.
tional Monthly.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
arealsina q Gently.

Young Wife-Tomorrow win be my
twenty-dfth birthday. Hubby-Why.
year ago. Just before our wedding. you
told me you were twenty. Young wife
Yes, but We women age rapidly after
mar1iase.-Boston Transcript.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
A RsseuresfuI Community.

I'VE didn't know what to do about
Piute Pete" said the Crimson Gulct
citizen. HE was q real good teller:
but he would be careless about shootin'
up the populace."
did you straighten out the matter"
ITO some extent. We elected him
sheriff, thereby maxim It look little
more Iesal."-Washington Star.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
Unfit.

Cadger-Old Highroller has just been
telling us about q time when he was
shipwrecked and all the survivors but
be were eaten BY cannibals. Badger
Why didn't they eat hint Cadger-l
don't know exactly. but suspect there
was q pure food commission on the IS
land.-Lippincott'A
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11

restaurant Hop0eeoo.
Tea or Coffee" demanded the bus
Ting waitress.
He smiled benignly. Don't tell me;
let me guess" he whispered.-Brook.
I'm Life,
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
Whoeo the ohoo Pinehod.

Crawford - Does your conscience
trouble you for losing that moneys
Crabshaw-No. but my wife does. You
see. II was her money.@udee.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11

I'VE need brains In this business.
Soung man."
You needn't tell me that. sir. Your
business shows it."-Baltimore Ameri.
aAn- -.ja=-
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
The Ace Of competition.

How high IL his temperature, doc
tort"
"Well. he's closely crowding the rec
ord"
"Ffnec.L Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11

Knicker@Joaes Is what they can q
book farmer. Bocker-Yeo; he has
used up two check books already-
New York Sun.
The Columbus journal., 1911-01-11
Not That Kind AZ Wsam.n

The 6swsr dssirss the moro peaco-
WIlsoa.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-04-24

OF my firearms. and especially the deto
nation of the hand grenade. l was
Obliged to give them the story. There
were some doubters rs TO the number
of men I,had beaten off. The tide had
carried away the leaders of the ne
groes, but the morning brought some
Of them back again TO prove my state
ment. A party on shore got wind of
the matter and came out TO hear about
the dispute between one man and
dozen negroes-as they gave the num-
ber-only two of the attacking party
escaping with their lives. This put a
different complexion on the matter. and.
the crew being convinced of the truth
of my version of the story. found my
self in the position of a hero. was
referred to after that as the man who
had fought twelve, killed eight and
never got a scratch. Even that leaves
out the two might have killed"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-04-24
DELAY MEMORIAL
Committee Unable TO Agree
Upon Suitable Location for
Lincoln Monument.
DESIGN ALSO PUBL Is
Two Million Dollars Has Been Ap
PrOpriated and Is Ready TO BE
Turned Over.

at the last session congress passed
an appropriation OF 100000 for the
erection Of a memorial to Abraham
Lincoln. A committee of seven mem
bers-namely. President Taft, Senators
CulIom of Illinois, Wetnore of Rhode
Island and Money OF Mississippi and
Representa- tives Cannon Of Illinois,
Mccall Of Massachusetts and Champ
Clark OF 0Iissouri-was designated to
carry out the provisions Or the resolu-
ton.
This committee so far has been IN
able to agree upon a location for the
proposed memorial or its design. The
question has been referred to the fine
arts commission as an advisory body
While the Lincoln memorial commit
tee just named is the central authority
IN relation TO the project, its powers
are somewhat limited by an amend
ment adopted by the senate requiring
approval by congress Of the location
and design OF the memorial upon which
the committee may finally decide
The issue on which the committee di-
vides is not new one. The old Burn
ham park commission. the Roosevelt
fne arts council and some members
of the present fine arts commission all
have approved the original park com
mission plan. This Contemplated q
memorial portico. surrounded with ter
races, gardens and fountains, on the
This was in turn s feature and
only one feature Of a general plan for
the beautiful and systematic develop
ment Of Washington recommended by
such great artists as Daniel II. Burn
ham, Charles F. NcKim. Augustus
Saint Gaudens and Frederick Law
Olmsted, Jr-. who composed the origi-
nal park commission. Their report
was presented Jan Is. 1902. and every
year that has elapsed since then has
confirmed the wisdom of their concIu-
sions.
COMMISSIONERS DISAGREE.
The congressional committee appoint
ed under the latest resolution is not
altogether friendly 10 the park commits
sion plan. SPEAK er Cannon hong has
favored 4 lincoln memorial between
the Union station and the capitol not
witl1stan6ing that e statue Of Christie
pier Columbus is now being made 10
so on the plaza ia front Of the station.
Senator Wetmore and Representative
Mccall are, or have been. advocates
Of this site. President Taft IS strong
~ for the park commission project.
The position Of Senators CuHon and
Money is not known. Champ Clark
has defined his own views with the
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-04-24

suggestion that the people or the coua-
try should decide what FORM the me-
mortal should take and where it should
be placed. The committee has held
several meetings which have resulted
in no agreement, and, as stated. the
opinion Of the fine arts commission has
been asked.
Oddly eA-1gh, the suggestion OF
Champ Clark, whether offered serious
II or not, has been taken up. 1t has
been decided by friends Of the Poto-
mac site TO state their case TO the
country and ask for a popular verdict
on the question. They hold that the
idea of a memorial to Lincoln is one or
national interest and Importance and
that as the local authorities can arrive
at no conclusion the matter should be
submitted TO the people. The Wash
ington chamber Of commerce has vol
unteered TO communicate with the
trade organizations Of the country
with reference to the project, and a
committee consisting of about seventy
FIVE of the leading men and women of
Washington. few of them holders of
public Office. has been appointed to
carry on the work.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-04-24

The postofce department has is
sued a report detailing the results Of
operation OF postal savings banks for
three months. In % postohices situ-
atei west OF the Mississippi, $14s.69O
was deposited. whereas only 1866
was received by The &c Offices east Of
the Mississippi Mining towns show
The greatest deposits. Leadville. Col
leading the list with s34.G7e deposited
and 427 accounts. At all the Offices
the number OF open accounts in
creased in March from 1864 TO 1907.
and the average balance for each de
positor from $63.54 10 $4C.S9. Total
deposits now amount 70 S201 ,961, an
increase Of s6s .902 in March.