The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-04-25
Pa PhnndnP D:oh+ dS for
UNCLE HIRAM'S EXPERIMENT

TON had been left behind. He wasn't
married man now, but a widower.
so he told himself and tried hard to
believe 1t There was no accusing
volcc. He had lett thousand dollars
behind tor the ''old woman" Some
men wouldn't have left a. dollar.
Uncle Hiram took another name.
and In due time he arrived some
where He found peopie who did not
hesitate To ask him why he made Il
fool OF himself 10y dyeing his hair and
whiskers Indeed, he was an object
of suspicion and was arrested. When
ne arrived sUmewhera else he was
taken for 81 man of sixty instead OF
flftv-two. The tailor hadn't taken
away that stoop. and he walked with
loose knees as all farmers do. Boys
called after him on the street. In
place of amusement he saw ii woman
whom he thought he would like to
make his wife. lie was the dashing
Widowcr now In. the midst Of his
gazing and thinking the woman turn
ed on him with;
See here, YOU old hundred-year
cid manikin. You Quit your staring
ar / u have YOU thrown out of here"
Uncle Hiram was dyed and padded.
bat he WIS deeetving nobody. Peo-
pie offered ia assist him up and down
steps and over rough places. and now
aud then men appealed TO him in re-
gard To dates of sixty or seventy
years ago. 1t Was very often that
children called him grandpa and he
WIS cautioned that such and such
weather Was dangerous for an old
man like him.
tncie hiram saw the elephant He
saw him literally and Theoretically
lie couldn't figure where he was bet
fer OF for So doing. When he saw
tn" animal literally, the mahout cau-
Toned in against coming too near, as
Behemtth seemed 10 have spite
against OLD men
In one locality Uncle Hiram re-
newed his hair dye and started in to
court a widow. She shifted the dye
and called him an old fool and held
the door opcn FOR him to walk ont
In no one CASE was any one deceived.
In most cases he WAS asked why his
wife wasn't with him, or how IT came
that ii man of his age was out in the
easy West seeking a divorce.
II he would go into business many
Inquiries would DC made. If he tried
H. buy 1t farm he WAS asked when his
wife was coming on When he got
Isl of his dye ard whiskers he waa
no bitter off. His speech was the
speech of a farmer who had got his
edncattQn ia the little country school
house
Uncle Eiram had wandered about
and spent fifteen hundred of his
hard-earued dollars before awaken
ing 10 the fact that he had made a
fool Of himself What TO do? Az he
asked himself the question a great
longing came TO him. He tried to
down IT.. bat ne couldn't Then a
feeling OF reinorse came, He had
been a dog to abandon his wife. He
sat down and thought 1t all over, from
the Gay they were wed She wasn't
So gray haired, but II she Was, what
of 1t? She wasn't So stopped but IL
she was. what Of it If her face were
wrnkled, what of his
tnele Hiram did not spare himself.
lie administered kicks. He reviled the
man II" shed tears And how to
mend matters He had had a wife
. ana home fer thirty years, He was
nov an outlaw.
Back ln the East was a sad ced
woman waiting. Aunt Jane had rent
ed nttie farm ard was living all
: alone. The neiEhbors had commlser-
ated with her. bat To one and all she
had said
Hiram viii come bach. am wait
ing here for him. He wifi remember
ali that ! did for him as a Wife"
And oTo rainy night. az she sat
alone with tier knitting and her
thoughts, she heard a step at the
door The une u-ia knocked sseeT1ltd
tnid.
come IN, Hiram"
The door slowly opened and there
stood Uncle Hiram. wet, bedraggle
and forlorn.
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