davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-10-03

I had twelve toes, would you now?
But appearances sure is deceitful and
that's just what I've got, six on each
trnby instead O. the usual hand out
o hve. Come to think of it, don't
see why we need any, but let 1t go
at that
Ny little game, see, is to breeze
into a swingin' door life savin sta
ton, and after waltzin' up TO the bar
half stewed like and settin 'em up
all around, flash a roll o. bills and
say. Il bet me and any other man in
the crowd have got twenty-five toes
between u.s."
It's never more'n two seconds be-
fore some fall guy takes me up for a
$40 bet, and then 1 show up and cop
the kitty. 1 tried 1t last night over
at Mulligans. There was a little guy
standin around and I put my hand
on his shoulder and says, It bet this
little feller and me have got twenty
two toes between US. I'll bet 800"
The fall guy was there all right,
and when we was all troopin to the
back room to show up. the little guy
whispers to me, Say, bo. l hope you
got ffteen-I on'y got seven."s
The Washington times., 1911-10-03

the revolver usin assans by taxn their members for
hire a lawyer.
things Belle There's
forbddn anarchists before after meal
fellows do their cellars and in
the dark where the Russian can't find EN-
It's Good as Some Shows
busters, the lead "sevra matters of
which the future Russia be taken
this meetin FIRST and foremost IS the subject OF tne
this
allowed do the assassination last week
disgrace o their whikcrs.
They actually back again gentlemen with the bombs in
that the Duke
Bawemoutovz srounded by innocent and children
noble
Of the guilty member-I pity EN- much
But somebody points at EN- III whistle.
bombed this week gentlemen the Grand Duke
Soakemagans has wife and thirteen children and Vshoud
bomb would be when he's kissn em all
good they'll appoint another grand duke to ts
but me the Bombs is cheap,
their that does it, Belle? Maybe had
q name Kilemalovitz I'd feel like ivin it,
The Washington times., 1911-10-03

The baby itself is not large,
however. 1t rarely weighs more than
an unabridged dictionary. and Is very
fragile TO look at. But oven the small.
est baby can rnaks q noiEe which will
cause an old bachelor three blocks away
10 tear the picture of Roosevelt from
the wall. and stamp on 1t.
This IS because a baby deals exclu-
Hlvely in noise. He does nothing and
thinks Of nothing but making noise.
Men who have become great by stick
ing to one thing and learning all about
It, claim that specialization is a new
idea. but for over 5000 years babies
have specialized in noise and their sue
cess is more impressive than that Of
Edison or Hans Wagner.
Babies are very young and have no
pasts 10 speak ot. They are greatly be-
loved by all who know them, not be-
cause of what they say. but because
Of what they do not say. Babies do
not tell ancient stories to their friends
or give them advice. or talk politics
when they want to read a good book or
tell them that the country is going to
The Washington times., 1911-10-03

manent crick in his neck az a resuIt
OF his earnest endeavor not to miss
anything.
1t seems that they are pulling OF
trip around the world, and II it's all
it's cracked up to be shouldn't won
der If the Cooks Tours people would
be trying to get out an Injunction and
put the whole thing or the blink. a,
IT is liable to interfere with their bus.
mess.
But be that is it may, this guy tell.
me that II am ever goin' to see that
Snow 1 must first make up my mind to
stay away from the lobster palace He
says that when they wind up with the
butterfly ballet and the life-size butter
files in tights begin to float around
through the air that, unless YOU are
mighty sure of yourself. you are apt to
act in a suspicious manner and wake
up in an observation ward with a
piano mover for a nUrse
One Sad Disappointment
Never again says he, at least
not until I am permanently fixed on
the water wagon But he tells me that
the European and Asiatio dope Is most
eonvin1in' and he's been all over the
world with . Tom show and knows
what he's tall1in' about
But before he left me he said that
with all the good wishes toward the
Shuberts he must confess that he had
run up against one sad disappoint
ment."
And what was thatr.' asked the s.
s. Y.
He said when he was trayelIin,
through the mimic Europe he missed
the deas. And the next time he Roes
he's going to send a dog in to sit in
his reserved seat for an hour or two
before the show. He's strong on local
color, is this guy"
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
THE STAGE DOORKEEPFR

"A friend Of mine Just back from
New York was telling me about the new
show at the Htppodrome," said the
stRge-struck youth as he reversed his
cuffs
Ee&" said the stage doorkeeper,
\. too have a friend who was over
to see the big show. He was in here
last night with a hot cross bun, and
was trytn' to tell me his impressions.
It must have been some show, and
the way he saw II It must have been
two shows, for think he was seem
double at the time"
He said IT was like a three-rtng
circus only mere SO, and tells me
that he thinks he has annexed a per
The Washington times., 1911-10-03

when you you hope this separation
will be Distance doesn't lend enchantment
Letters but comfort after ALL and
tons th the little that
and full of beautiful thoughts
and hear without speaking when together.
VI course 1t harder for than for harder
for the manfor the days only for all
do fill heart and mind thoughts
and while mother earnestly
of making beds they
without njung them and stitch flmy things
all loneliness
But dear Its wonder have
ship and good the old
Sane and Sensible
You see can be and sensible after all,
little letter and feel bitter little
1t was only monentay and l ask forgiveness for it
It's odd, how change
Whrn first could
episode confession of halfway Irritation
II the and the teaching
sraothed rounded
the beauties only of love itself, but o
This IS serious letter. dear,
long and daya begun over
your letter and with each hour full of the pks life
The Fulness of Humility
A frock Just home did had A
glass dish by Mrs Downing lives
when arrived quarreled with cook
make dessert but last have
the hour when the things
brings almost soothing touch rriated
tuiness humility writing I low.
me, that you me-but after al, who could askm
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Hard In Winter.

Kind Lady-You must have a very
hard time in winter.
Tramp (between mouthfuls)--Yes, in
deed, mum. Sometimes 1 darsen't ask
fur bite fur days, and most starves,
num-
What do you fear at such times?'
"Td be axed to shovel snow, mum" 3"
New York Weekly.
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Just So.

He doesn't really love you. He's
after your money"
But if his love were net genuine how
could he put SO much fervor into his
wooing?'
"Oh. man can dig up considerable
ferver when he has to marry money or
go to work. rk."-Exchange
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Had Lived In The City.

Conductor-Your ticket Is for Lawn
vile. and We don't stop until we get
to Trenton This is the lightning ex-
press.
Suburban RESIDENTIAL right. When
We get to Lawnville I'll jump. I've got
off of street cars many a time when the
motorman was homeward bound on his
last trip.-New York Weekly.
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Buy One, Anyway.

Buy a flower for your wife, sir?"
Haven't one"
For your sweetheart"
Haven't one."
For your best girl, then"
Haven't one
Since you're so lucky. then at leas
buy one for yourself. "-Fliegende Blaet
ter
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Time to Move.

MY chorus girl client wants a change
Of venue, your honor"
She can get a fair trial here"
mo doubt, but the people in this
town have seen all her gowns. Louis
Vile Courier-Journal,
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Quite PuZZlinQ.

Maud-What do you think of a girl
who'd write her name on a new-laid
egg in order to catch a husband?
Jack-That it's a toss-up for fresh
ness between the egg and the girl
Boston Transcript.
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
M A ME TELLS BE L L E
That Better Things Are
Coming, But Just Now
RUSSIA'S IN A BAD WAY

)ME day. Belle, Russia is goin to be civilized and
use reglar language instead of overgrown tell
graph signals and throw kisses instead o bombs
And Siberia1l be turned into childrens play
ground, and the czar'll hold egg rollin contests
on his front lawn for the peasant kids
But not for few odd years, though-say
million The national pastime is pretty
sure indication of how many years country il
separated from Darwin's monkeys. In Russia,
Belle, the national pastme is bomb throwin'.
Once in while they revolvers, but b'lieve
that's considered effeminate by most anarchists
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Conclusions
Of Humor
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY

In some parts of the dominion
there are only seven-tenths of a man
to the square mile! Gee! Then, as
he can need only seven-tenths Of an
old suit it's up to that seven-tenths
OF a man to save considerable money
on his clothes--The Pink I'm.
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Accounts For II.

Jess-I wouldn't stand for 1t, If I
were Jack. Why, you treat him shame
fully.
Bess-Oh. that's all right. We're en-
gaged.-Toledo Blade.
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Instantaneous

Wife-Im tired to death. Been hav
ing baby's picture taken by the instan
taneous process.
Husband-How long did It take?
Wife-About four hours.
The Washington times., 1911-10-03

EAREST: Your long, long letter today, and
l feel as if great wall that has stood between
US has suddenly been leveled and that l close
beside you again l was only conscious of the wall
sometimes, but that it has gone know that
each stone of it weight upon my heart.
1t makes me very i.@ppy TO feel that you can
write openly and tell all about that other girl
and-and OF course, l forgive you So long
love you and you love me nothing else matters and
if sometimes, man like. your feet will stray from
the path that is to the most beautiful one in
the world know deep in my heart that you will
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
An Extra Dry Case;
Or, Save the Corks

"1 don't understand IT," she said,
and so 1 came to you. There were
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Our Red Hot Sport
Saws Toe Be Or?

Toes amt a very nice thing to talk
HboUt ] guess, but this ones on me,
% / guess I'll let 'er ripple.
Teiook at mo YOU. wouldn't think
The Washington times., 1911-10-03

the dogs or ask them for $500 till pay
day. As battles grow older. they talk
more and lose a few friends each year.
A young boy baby is frantically be-
loved by hundreds Of women. but af-
ter he Is grown up, and has learned
conversation in all its branches, he is
lucky If he can keep one woman fond
of him long 10 die married.
Babies are great diplomats. A baby
can induce a strong man to get up at
The Washington times., 1911-10-03
Vest Pocket ESSAYS
The Author of Siwash College Tales
Drawn for The Washington Times

BABY is q large volume Of noise
entirely, surrounded by safety
pins.
The baby itself is not large,
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
TAFT MAKES ANNOUNCEMENT
REGARDING INTERNAL STRIFE
IN AGRICULTURE DEPARTMENT
VICTORY FOR DOCTOR WILEY
Taft's Refusal 10 Recognize Recon-
mendation of Wickersham and Per
sonnel Board All That Doctor Wiley
Could Hope For.

Beverly, Mass, Sept 1.-THE res
ianat,on of Doctor Wiley pure food
expert of the department OF agrlcul-
ture, will not be asked by President
Taft, despite the recommendation or
the personnel board of the depart
ment of agriculture and which was
endorsed by Attorney General Wick
ersham.
This decision was announced here
today.
In his opinion, the president offers
no word OF. critic sm for Doctor Wiley,
but many Of praise. There is no in
dcation in it that the president feels
that he has turned down" Attorney
General Wickersaam by not accepting
his recommendations
The president admits there is trou-
bic in the department of agriculture
and SAYS: Broader issues raised bN
the investigation. which have much
weightier relation than this one To
the general efficiency of the depart
mont. may require much more radi
cal action than the question | have
concluded and decided.
That this statement indicates ser
ious shake-up in the derartment next
winter, is freely predicted here today
Il Is not believed that the president
will request Secretary Wilson to re
sign. A general cleanup of the at
fairs in this department, however
could easily be put through by the
president when he returns to Wash
ington.
Doctor Busby, whose employment in
Wleys department at $40 a day
started the disturbance is held guilt
less by the president.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
DELEGATES TO CON-
SERvAT|0N CONGRESS
THREE PROMINENT ARDMORE
MEN WILL ATTEND MEETING
AT KANSAS CITY.

The third national conservation con
gress meets at Kansas City, Mo-,
September 25-26-27 and the CONNER
cial club was invited to send three
delegates to the meeting.
This was no small job, as there is
absolutely no compensation other
than the knowledge cleaned while at
tending the session, and the delegates
have to pay their own expenses, but
after casting over the list of the mem
bers of the club, three men were Sc
lected who signified their willingness
to attend and the names of the dele
gates forwarded to the executive sec
retary. Thomas r. Shipp.
The delegates who will attend this
meeting are Messes. Kenneth Hudson,
!. S. Mullen and John r: Dexter.
Mr.. Dexter is at present visiting in
Illinois but will be on his way home
and will stop over at Kansas City to
attend this congress.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
WHOLE TRAIN LOAD OF OklRHO-
MANS ARRIVED IN NEW YORK
FOR BIG BATTLE TONIGHT
HAVE MUCH MORRIS MONEY
Until Ttod1y Little Money Was Wa
qered on Tonight's Bout, But Nor
ris' Oklahoma Friends Have Their
Pockets Full of Morris Money.

New York, y. Y, Sept. ia Whole
train load Of Olllahomans arrived
here today with their pockets fuI'
of Morris money and started the lirst
real betting on the Morris-Flynn figh-
scheduled for tonight in Madison
Square Garden.
Hitherto little money has been wa
gered here on the result, as the Ok
lahoma giant is an unknown quantity
in the east.
The top gallery OF seats in MaG'son
Square GARDEN sod today at $500
with prices ranging up to 500 for ring
side boxes. The bout is expected to
net $4,000
\ message was received here to-
day from a prominent London sport
ing man. which says that Johnson
is keenly interested in the outcome
of this fight and is planning, If Nor
ris wins. to make an early return
20 America 10 battle the new aspiran
for championship honors.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
TO-DAY IN HISTORY.

17S4-The first aerial voyage made
in England by Vincent Lunardi
an Italian.
tS0i-An American newspaper declar-
ed that it would be wlsest to re
tain the island of New orleans
and sell the rest Of the Louisiana
purchase to Spain for what it
would bring.
lS29-Great preparations to celebrate
the approaching marriage Of Fer
dinand, king Of Spain.
1S3i-Wiuiam II. Crawford, Ameri-
can statesman, died.
lS54-The French and English Baltic
fleets left those waters homeward
bound.
1SGi-The Cook county, Illinois, board
of supervisors offered bounty
Of $40 to brokers for each man
secured for enlistment.
1S6S-A band of Indians defeated on
lne udllhS Oh lut Dig odHuN' -
terrible conflagration ragged in
the forests of Oregon and Cali
fornia, on both sides of the Co.
lumbi2 river.
.1S7aPmssiau advances reach the
Paric Notifications in Franco
Prussian war Part of French
ministry from Paris arrived a.
Tours.
1S7i-The White League army in
New Orleans succeeded in de
posing General Kellogg and es-
tablishinG Lieutenant Governor
McEnery in authority.
1SSI-phe oaar of Russia, emperor OF
Germany and the emperor Of Ans
tria met at Skirnevierce, Poland.
1S94-A crusade by the Lake Shore
and Rock Island railway compa-
MES in Chicago against car flip
pers resulted in 224 arrests.
1901 Queen Helena Of Italy CAV"
birth to heir Of Italian throne.
The hoy will be called IIumhert,
Prince of Hiedmont.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
Louie Melton Attempts spuicide.

Gainesville, Sept 14.-Louie Mel
ton. who was placed in the calaboose
yesterday by the officers on charge
of drunkenness, attempted to burn
the calaboose last evening about
$50 O'Clock by setting fire to the
mattress i'm the cell which he occu.
pied
It was discovered by the hremen
at the fire station and the blaze was
cxtinguished before any damage re-
suited.
About thirty minutes later he tried
to hang himself by placing his sus-
penders around his neck and tieins
same to a bar of the cell door, and
when found he was hanging head
downward. but was eNtricated before
he had accomplished his purpose
that of self-destruction.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15

Dr i. Gilmer Smith will preach
ct the Presbyterian church tonight
Subject. 4 call 10 a Sleeping Church,
This is the last meeting before Lock
e,l Ndair arrives. The church people
of Nrdmoge are expected TO be presen,
topisht.
The men will meet at : p. m.
to complete the pans.
Every committeeman is expected
to 'Ne PRESENT.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
Rev. p. \. Neil, S. NJ Dillard, X. c.

Rev p. \. Nell, S. II. Dillard, X. c..
Thomas, committee.
After the adoption of the resolution
unanimously. several rresent came
forward and signed same, including
T.. p. Pugh, Mitchell Stubbs, j. @.
Adams Prof c. A. Kenyon, Tom Cur
ry, f. l.. Smith, j. 5. Davis, A, l..
Batchlor. Ed Groner, John II. Crisp,
Tobe Crisp. C. G.. Graham, NJ. w. Al
len. Rev. \. l.. Gillum, Rev. c. S
Smith. w. VI. lotion, VI. p. Primus
and several others.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
|KARD INJURED
BY A FALL
CARPENTER ON NEW TABER-
NAClE SUSTAINS BROKEN
RIBS YESTERDAY.

VIII Ikard who was working on the
tabernacle being erected at Central
park had the misfortune to fall from
the roof where he was working yes
terday afternoon and sustained pain
full injuries.
He was taken to DR.. Hardy's Office
and attention given his wounds, after
which he was taken to his home
1t was stated that he sustained
some broken ribs on the right side
and was otherwise bruised. He will
be confined to his home for several
days.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15

Poolyille, Sept. live have had a
great deal of rain in the past week.
People have began picking cotton.
There has been thirty bales ginned
at both gins.
Jessie Ashton was badly poison
en- on ice cream. II is said that he
cream had set over about forty-eight
hours and had almost conkered in the
can. He is very i'll today
Mr.. Lo Majors left here today for
Ardmore He also sent several wag-
ons to haul gasoline engine out for
his cotton house.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
Today's Birthday Sketch.

Marlin Edgar Olmstead, representa-
tive in congress from the eighteenth
Pennsylvania district, is fgiy-2ight
Years Old. He has been a member OF
congress since he was hrtt elected
to the fifty-ffth session
Mr.. Olmstead was born in ULYSSES
township. Potter county Pennsylyanip
and educated in the common schools
of the district and Coudersport a-al-
envy. At an early age he was 1pl oint-
ed assistant corporation CLERK by Au-
ditor General afterwards Go" ""t-
ranl one year later he was promoted
TO corporation clerk, in cha"g" -, co.
lection of taxes from corporarions un-
der Pennsylvania peculiGr r"ye"ue
system. he was continued in the
same position by Harrison Allen, au-
ditor general.
When Mr. Olmsteal be4ao 20 read
law he studied under he llta Judge
J w. Simoton Of Harrisburg. He vas
admitted to the bar Of Dauphin 30uN-
ty i'm 1873. to the bar of the supreme
court of PENNSYLVANIA in 1881, and to
the bar of the supreme court of the
United States i'm 1851. In 1891 he was
elected to represent Dauphin county
ju the proposed constitutional con
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
Los Angeles First Woman Banker.

Los Angeles. Cal, Sept. 15.-L&
Angeles ushets into office today lis
first woman banker, with the opening
to the pubic of the first postal s9'.
iuss bank. She Is Mrs. Bird G. Shai-
toa. assistant superintendent OF the
money order department OF the Los
Angeles postoffice Mrs. shelton is
well qualified for the position. having
assisted her late husband m a bank
ing business at Tro-. Mo. In adii-
ton she has been nine years i'm the
postal service.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15

.Renembs- the Honey Bee Flour
aad Chase L Ssnborn's coffee, the
only coffee that always gives sat
istactioa. Felker, the grocer, sole
axen, ior both. 12d
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
LAW AND ORDER
LEAGUE ORGANIZED
THE NEGROES OF ARDMORE
HOLD AN ENTHUSIASTIC MEET
ING AND ELECT OFFICERS.

with standns room at a rremium,
the negroes of this city met last night
at the NJ. r. church, colored, for the
rurpose OF organizing the best ele-,
ment Of negroes into some kind Of a
body to combat lawlessness among
their race.
II seemed like every negro who has
family or is engaged in an honest
and Legitimate business was present,
and one Of the most hopeful signs in
connection with this big negro gather
ing was the presence of a large mum
her of Young negroes, calm, cool, with
serious expressions upon their faces,
and working in thorough harmony
with the older ones for the betterment
Of the condition Of their race. The
credit of initiating this movement
he given TO r. c. Cowen, the
colored porter at Madden's, and one
of the Oldest negro citizens of the
city.
Another feature of this meeting was
the presence OF the large number OF
colored people from Milo, Berwyn,
Tatum and other points in this coun-
ty who happened to be in the city
attending court or selling cotton, all
OF whom. practically, endorsed the
movement as one of the best things
that could be done.
Rev. {. s. Smith, at whose church
the meeting was held was elected
president of the league, G.. \. Kenyon,
the principal of the school, was elect
ed secretary, and j. S. Young, treas
urer.
The following resolution was unani.
mously adopted:
Resolved. That, we, the colored
people of the city of Ardmore. deplore
the recent race disturbances that have
occurred in our beloved state, and
particularly in Bryan and McLain
counties: that we here and now, for
ever and unreservedly condemn the
negro rapist, dend and lawhreaker as
serpent, a scorpion, worthless par
isite. a cancer gnawing at and de
stroying the very yitals Of humanity
and as an evil more destructive to
the peace. happiness, prosperity and
wel-being Of the colored race than
flood to growing crop.
We realize the fact that We are Of
the south. We delight and take pride
ia the fact that our homes are here,
and that those ties that are dearest
TO the human heart are the births OF
our beloved southland. Therefore We
pledge our word and sacred honor to
assist the people among whom fate
has decreed that we should cast our
liros lot in running down every ne
gro criminal and in bringing to swift
Justice every negro culprit
Resolved, further. that We most
heartily endorse the stand recently
proclaimed by Mr.. Ousley in the edi-
torial cloumns Of his paper, The Fort
Worth Record wherein he makes II
clear and plain that his people must
learn to discriminate between ne
grocs: that there are some good ne
Lao. hp /
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15

Keep your feet dr. by having new
soles put on at Electric Shoe Shop.
opposite postoffice. oS-im
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15
CFF

Alfalfa, rye and cl,ll line OF
garden seeds. Pugh & Foster. 115
West Main st 3-lm
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15

Take your shoe repairing to Cross
Electric Shoe shop opposite post
office. 9S.lm
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-09-15

woman with a drug store com
uieziou isn't always true 10 her col
c'-.