davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
wOOing the Mice

A renting agent and the city salesman
Tor carpet sweeper concern met in an
apartment house hall. They had met there
before. zf = r s..
Seems to me-" said the renting agent
'that you are doing a land office bust
ness among my tenants
Pretty fair" said the salesman.
Funny the sweepefs near out so soon"
Baid the agent But that is not the only
funny thing about this house. There are
the mice am here TO see about the mice
There shouldn't be q mouse on the place,
for all the tenants seem TO be good house
keepers. yet every little while somebody
complains OF mice,
''Our errands here originate In the same
cause" said the salesmAns Every woman
IN the house is careless with her carpet
sweeper. She leaves crumbs In II over night
THAT brings the mice. which rnbble the
II eeper trying to get at the crumbs, and
IS ths end YOU AMI make these periodical
calls, to sst rid Of the mice. to sell
oweeperzs
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08

The doctor didn't say, Your asthma and
bronchitis are caused by your collar but
ton" but after feeling under the collar at
the back of the patients neck he did say,
IT'S a wonder person who wears such
a collar can breathe at ALL ~.
II suppose for twenty-five wears you
have been wearing high. rigid collars"
continued the doctor, with collar button
half an inch long pressing heavily against
the spinal column near where 1t enters
the brain-where is enlarges into the
medulla oblongata- The tall. stiff collar,
worn as tight as you wear 1t. cuts. off a
good deal OF the blood supply from the
head. When you lean forward over your
desk 1t ehokes the big blood vessels that
supply the brain; then when you lean
back 1t presses hard against the base OF
the brain itself. But the, collar button,
such as you wear, and as most men wear
is worse than the collar, and together they
are certainly a vicious combination. The
medulla contains vital centers of auto
matte action OF the body. The chief of
these centers is that controlling respirs-
ton. II the medulla Is injured death
ensues by suffocation. In cases of hang
ing 1t is the injury to this center that
causes death. The medulla is also the cen
ter for the vasomotor nerves. regulating
the size of the blood vessels, A heavy and
continuous pressure on the spinal column
such as is exerted by collar button that
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08

Lay of the Hotel Lobbyist

do you think Bacon killed Shakes
peare?r asked the Chair Warmer.
SNope.e ThsnfelioW who did that was
What was his name2-a modern actor
saw In recent years, answered the Hotel
Lobbyist. Gle certainly massacred
shakesy: al right Eddie Foy put over a
mayhem and feORious assault on the
Avon bard, hut this other fellow, whose
name ESCAPES, me. slipped over the coop
de mort. hs7we Frenchr1nenus say.
Anyhow, Bacon was never indicted for
st. although this American professor,
owen may be aryine 20 plant the evidence
and then have 30 have Francis b. formally
charged by grand jury The statute
never runs out on murder Pm told.
"of course the professor may have
some damaging or damaged evidence
which makes, It look bad for Frank, but
Wye. OH Wye7--(thaus a little English
pun and you can skip this part, because
you Wouldn't understand It, anyway.
wye, / repeat Cgieel that would go strong
ON. the other side). Wye does he want to
az in the River wye TO get the goods on a
scholarly person who has been reposing for,
lol these four hundred years; his peace Of
mind disturbed only by constant charges
mat he was a snob. q CRATER. play
pirate a plogiartst, a man who bought
others bright thooghts7 a sycophant, a
wit, a gentleman, a polished shine. a bone
head, q robber. a flatterer, a grave robber,
cryptogram fiend, first nighter, a pro-
Queer. song house booster, a ticket specu-
lator, a Jekyll-Hyde, an, amateur actor,
the man who wrote Shakespeare's works.
the man who spelled shakespeare's works,
q theatrical censor, and now finally
murderer. N'c" feau'
This is all wrong, this campaign of
defamation. History shows that Bacon
was always going into the Globe on
paeses. and does not, the. Did Latin phrase
ind truct US. of the. deadheads speak only
gebd'? think the meanest things about
Bacon were Said by hfsS well meaning
friends. Think of their asserting these
years that any sensible, highs paid court
attendant like, Frank would spend his
young life inventipg cipher code that
even he couldn' tereadl- Why look at his
picture That shows at glance that he
had all he could do keeping up on the
--latest styles in nobby gents frilled lace
collars and velvet panties, the correct
sl19e OF trimming a. beard WITHOUT having
tot complain to the mayor and In trying
various cures for badness.
ITS bad enough 10 call him first
nighter. When he went over 20 see
'BW's' newest production, theaters didn't
..b1se to have kitchen, attached to attract
Fan audience with fancy foodtngs, nor a
fancy marble entrance with an imposing
array of ,speculators TO make II look like
big business. nor an iron handed claque
ITO encore the latest songs from Tin Pan
Alley nor scenery and chorus girls espe-
cially painted for this production. The
only eats at the old Globe we're oranges,
with which those who could buy could
pelt the original, true STUDENTS of the
drama. In the pit, who were there TO be
pitted rather than to censdFe.Se No true
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
Orea Looking Glass Holds Up Girl with Cross Father

was born to have. II you think you cannot
be agreeable long enough not to scare the
men away who want to come, shall see
them somewhere else. And l shall marry
the first man who asks me- in order to
have a home where ! can feel comfortable
6nd unembarrassed."
Don't you lose your courage when you
deliver this sane and womanly speech. Re
member you are not asking a privilege;
you are demanding a right And don't let
his growing scare you into hedging. IT.
right and fair that your own home should
have it's doors open to the men who want
to know you. 1t Is there that the rightyone
should find you. And you keep that in
mind Open those doors TO your own OPP
portunity TO be what you should.
When It comes right TO the point men
face this marriage business more directly
and sensibly than we do. Your father may
be cross; but something in your letter
makes me think he is a man OF sense. He
knows that marriage is the natural career
for woman. He knows too, that the
! supply of girls is somewhat in excess of
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08

nevertheless" she said, rather acidly.
what has feminine fascination to do with
the subject we are discussing?"
everything" promptly answered the
student. "A fascinating woman rules her
own world. She makes her own laws No
matter what her disadvantages on the
statute books she can do anything and
everything she pleases"
look of acute distress crossed her coun-
tenance.
'Oh dear!" she exclaimed petulantly.
ITS talk like that which makes a woman
"a woman that men like-wish that she
was missionary to the heathen.'
But that's just what's she is he inter-
rupted. "A missionary to heather men
that would languish in darkness and the
naroarism OF ugliness IL she weren't a
living gospel of sweetness and loveliness.'
What eloquence!" jeered the feminine
oracle but what do you mean by
fascinating woman, anyhow? Now,
don't want you to get personal 1 want
you to discuss woman in the abstract"
But don't care for women in the
abstract" the student objected. ''wbat
does 1t matter to a man whether a woman
has brains or not compared with certain
other qualities? He has a brain OF his
own! What makes a woman fascinating
TO him Is not her points of resemblance,
but her points OF difference. her candor,
her ingenuousness, sometimes even her
Stiffness her cute little ways her funny
little nbs. her-oh. 1 could talk an hour
and not be able to explain"
But suppose you had to summarize the
subject?" she asked.
1 can do It In one word of three let
ters! said the student boldly" and the
letters are Y-O-U!"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
Queer Combs and Brushes

The cat carries her close brush in her
mouth, for with her rough tongue. she
cleanses her glossy coat a boy brushes
of his clothes. She ticks one of her front
paws and rubs it over her face, and she is
ready for her breakfast. ..
Foxes, dogs and wolves do not use their
mouths when they need to wash and brush,
but scratch themselves vigorously with
their hind paws and are as fresh as ever.
The COW, with her long, rough tongue.
combs her coat of hair until It is clean and
curly. The horse, more than any other
animal, depends on his owner to keep his
coat in proper condition, but often he will
roll on the green grass or rub himself down
against tree fence. r- t-. 70, p.
Field mice comb their hair with their
hing legs, and the fur seal in similar
manner spends as much time as, a woman
in making herself look smart.
Although the elephant appears to be think
skinned and calious, he takes great care
Of his skin. He often gives himself
shower bath by drawing water into his
long trunk and blowing it on the different
parts of his body. After the bath he some
times rolls himself In toilet preparation
of dust to keep off the flies.--our Dumb
Animals.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
Female Presentations Easily Summarized

r''I have found the most wonderful deli
oracle with an enthusiasm she never dis
played toward the publications of the hour.
1T is called The American Lady and
was published in 1899. The dear old gentle
man who wrote 1t evidently thought he was
being terribly radical when he urged that
women should be educated. Here is a quo
tation," and she proceeded to read it with
much derisive expression:
The enlargement of the female under
standing is the most likely means to put
an end to those petty and absurd conten-
lions for equality which female smatterers
so anXiously maintain
Now what do you think of that?" she
asked.
II think the old fellow was an optimist. -
replied the student of femininity. so far
as can see the female smatterer is con-
tending just as hard-no, a thousand times
harder today"
His eyes twinkled as he spoke, but the
red flag Of danger was flying in the cheeks
or the oracle and her voice shook with in
dignation as she answered.
Il would rather have been a dog than
woman when men could write like that
l could cry when l think my poor grand
mother had to read it and take 1t seriously
Imagine not being able TO laugh at such
a stupid, pompous. ridiculous, ignorant.
vulgar old fool; such al"
Hold on" cried the student, in some
alarm. You needn't be so sorry for your
grandmother. From that picture you showed
me she took after her granddaughter and
Was very fascinsting woman
II was impossible for the oracle to re-
press her smile OF modification.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
The Kaiser's Cold

When the Kaiser takes cold the court
sneezes.
The Kaiser 70 the Waiting Chamberlain
-Wad is Id you wad9
The Standardization Msjestad. hab
sub papers for you 10 side.
The Imperial ABIDE ped ad ing are
here. your MaJestad.
The Kaiser-whsds de madden, boys7
You bode got. colds?
The First Lady In Waiting in the door
way-Your Hldess. de Embress win waid
apod you.
The Kaiser-Whad, anodderl Is de in
flueedza sa brevalend7
The Chamberlain. bowling low-Imidashud
Is de sidserest fladdery. your Hidess.
The Kaiser, much pleased-Dsd's very
touching. thsg you I'd de nabs OF Ger
many.-Clsveland Plaindealer.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
How Coffee is Spoiled

A family living in East Orange has a
model servant who has proved herself the
best cook they ever had, but she has in
sisted upon making up ali her dishes
strictly according 70 her own recelptA
Margaret" said the mistress, one day,
the coffee you are giving us is very good.
What kind is it?"
1T Is no kind at all. num-" was the re-
ply. It's a mixture"
Well won't you tell me how you mix it?'
Sure, mum. / make II one-quarter
Mocha, one-auarter Java and one-auarter
RIO"
Yes, but that IL only three-auarters.
What do you put In for the other quarter %
why. put in no other quarter at all,
mum. That's whore 90 many people spoil
their coffee, num- by putin In z fourth
quarter, mum."-suceess Magazine
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08

ceive men because one of them will prob
ably be the means OF your entrance into
the career that most needs and best suits
you, he will realize that II is not all frivol
and fun, mere useless wasting of the gas
and wearing Of the rugs that prompts you.
Facing the Dragon.
l send you my mental support in your
facing OF the dragon. And l hope you will
win your way to burning much gas and 20 a
great deal OF wear and tear on the oriental
floor coverings. May the right man be the
one to turn the lights economically low and
to kneel at your feet-oh, no! You wouldn'
want lover 10 be so foolish! l wish /
could know what your father looks and
says and does when you beard him in his
den!
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
Missionary Tree

A missionary, during Lenten tea. said.
pointedly;
Il have established missionary trees all
over the country. But perhaps you don't
know what q missionary tree is? A mis-
sionary tree is one whose profit goes en-
urely to missions.
"A New York farmer has In his apple
orchard golden pippin tree that helps 10
support the Chinese missions. A Florida
woman has an orange tree that helps TO
uplift the eannibals of New Guinea. A
California nut farmer deyotes a walnut
tree TO the spread OF the faith in Zanzibar.
Missionary trees" the speaker ended.
ARE very good things, but the principle
that underlies them need not be confined
to farms and farmers New York Times.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
Did You Ever Think Of This?

is so long and so firmly held as to imbed
itself deeply in the tissues Of the neck
cannot help but affect the nerves leaving
the medulla, causing troubles in breathing
and a long line of distressing symptoms
due to vasomotor nervous disturbances.
Il would not say that a shorter button
and a loose and soft collar would cure
your asthma but they certainly are among
the remedies indicated. Just think Of the
weight of pressure that is put on that
collar button, with heavy winter clothing,
tight fitting as to collars Of vest. coat and
overcoat, forcing this small piece of metal
deeper and deeper down on these nerves
that control the most vital functions Of the
body!"-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08

student in the gallery soaks the wealthy
brother downstairs with peanut shells
and programs. Those were the days.
When Francis and Bill went out on a tear
Shakespeare always brought home the
Bacon"
But do you think Bacon killed him?"
persisted the Chair Warmer.
Seems to me did read that Bacon was
dramatic critic" said the. Hotel Lob
byist
Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08

DR.. S. Weir Mitchell, Philadelphia's ia
nous author and no less famous neu-
rologist. has no sympathy with that type
Of writer who continually accuses the
publisher OF cheating him DR. Mitchell
condemning this type Of writer. said some
time ago at the Franklin Inn:
"one OF these fellows. proposed. at a
publishers banquet in New York. the
toast: as
To the publisher, who always drinks
his wine out OF the authors skull"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
At the Party

Don't say any anything to make Mrs.
Leeder laugh. Her enamel's cracking"
Muldrum's second husband. I've forgotten
his name"
you never know whom you're going to
bump against when you come to a place
like this
Watch out-here she comes. Yes, in
deed Mrs. Gwimp, we're enjoying ourselves
immensely. Chicago Tribune.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
May 8, 1911.
Name and Address.

Name school Year.
Alexander .......1sOl
Mary Abboud 1872 South Thirteenth ST Phlomena 1888
Ida Kathryn Bruner s4O1 Decatur Franklin 1898
Gertrude Beacher 1891 Fowler Monmouth Park sss
Edith Cundn 122 South TWenyseventh St High
R.
La Verne Defendorf 45o2 Burdette Clifton Hill 1905
Lille M Douglas $3.50 CASTELAR,
Eva Click 1915 Cass Central
Charles
Leon
Ruth
Helen Gooch S717 North Twentysecond othrop
Clarence
William
Raymond Hanna, 2121 Lothrop
John Hardy Thirtyxth
Bernce Hughes,
Fred Jones SO22
John Lothrop
Thomas Kasador Howard kennedy 1905
William Lewis, 221 North
Catherine Lubischar
Adeine Lehman, 1913
May r.
Horace Morse 2212 North
Mabel Observation-Disclosures. Vinton . 1893
Gertrude Sacred Heart 1904
Ihe Mahsall Fortyeghh SITS
Mlou L. Mathews Kennedy
Leo A. Mouton 1850 Kennedy
Mary M Nygaad St.............
ROY C. Norgren, 216
Agnes oDeI .Iohop 1905
Emanuel Priesman Tenths Bancroft - 1901
Ethel Pettenghl 2sO7 Hickory High 1895
Lillian Pezdiz, 1912 st....... Lincoln 1902
Minerva Qunby ............ High 1SS3
Jane Redgwck park 1ooo
Wallace Shepard,
William Stewart 1915 .Comenus 1904
Violet Simpson, 211S 1eO3
Philpp spatols, 2227 s.......... Mason 1soo
sephan spic St .Josepb 1se9
Earl Twenty seventh St Keom 1So7
Hazel Turnqust S1 Webster 1912
Nina A Valentine 421S Ohio
Helen Yates, 217 Writ
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
Sometimes an Addiction.

Have YOU always enjoyed good health9''
asked the life insurance physician Of the
prospective policy holder.
Yes, through the winter months. In
the base ban season rm afflicted with it,
Philadelphia Times.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
An E1tremely7 LocaI I..ue,

''CharlsS.h dear said young Mrs. Tor
kins, do ryeu think you and ! will ever
see serious trouble with the Japanese?'
mo" replied her husband. YEARLY. mot
unleSs We happen to get Japanese cook"
s-VekAhingtOn star.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
IoeInnd Women We.

y The men In the town council of the capt
tai OF Iceland wanted 20 light the city with
electricity and the women wanted gas
30 that-.they could cook BY a. The vote
was = ~ ana the mayor siding with the
women. ssa, viii now DO used.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08

II youth but knew what age did crave
many penny would he save. ~ --'~, e
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08

II NY Dear Loretta: My father is crosser
ahsh a bear. He is liberal enough about
clothes and. all THAT, but he will not let
any gentlemen come to see me. And am
ask. He says he does not want his daugh-
ters TO marry, SO he acts like the Old Harry
when any one dares to call. My sister and
j are tiredsef ~ Do you happen to know
a way to cure cross fathers?
"a REBELLIOUS. DAUGHTER"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-08
The, cbaace OF MappInes..

Yes, dog II IS the quickest, most direct
aHd honest way too. You Just go to your
gather and ssHs Father, am grown up.
And / want the privilege Of living my own
life as you had to live yours. want to
receive the attention of men; and l want
10 be sure wfHe l mdoing it that you
will not set off the alarm clock at $3.50
'v-plehake the furnace an hour earlier than
usual. / cohsider that a girl has the big
gest chAhbssof happiness and the largest
opportunity for growth by being married.
. am not going to-ietgou make an old maid
OF me and ebfat me out Of the career I
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1911-08-11
5 SPORTS OF THE DAY ;
WHEN IS THAT BEMIDJI GAME
Commercial Travellers in Quandry
Over Pending Baseball Contest.

Play ball! When the umpire says
"Play Ball. next Saturday afternoon
the "Fats" and the "Leans" of the
local council of the United CONNER
cial Travellers will clash for their
first game of baseball.
what are you talking about?"
said a member of the Flats" when he
overheard a conversation regarding
the time of the ball game. "Why,
the game is to be played Saturday,
August 10, and not next Saturday.
You skinny fellows want to get our
goat too soon. Don't think for a
minute that we are not working hard
to get a good lineup. We're going to
surprise you. We've got LIE Rue to
pitch for us. He'll give you fellows
something to shake your bat at"
No one gave "Fatty" an argument,
so he finally run down. The matter
was then left for Promoter Mayors
decision. Mr.. Meyers is the man who
is financing the affair and is also the
man who puts up the $25 in prize
money. He was out of the city today
so it could not be learned whether
his intention is to stage the battle
on the II or 10. The exact time will
be published later.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1911-08-11

moter, has declared against node
cision bouts. Pat wants referee to
give decision after every tangle.
Dan McKettrick, manager of Willie
Lewis, announces that Lewis is the
welterweight champion. Too bad
about Mac, but he will be himself
again in day of two.
Raymond Boyd, Ottumwa's star
pitcher, has been sold to the Cincin-
natl club.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1911-08-11
Town Of Nebish Orders spayabae.

Mr.. Andrew Edwards, treasurer Of
the Town of Nebish, has made ar
rangements with the Northern Ma
tional Bank of Bemidji to cash any
and all orders on the Town Of Nebish,
with interest from date of registra-
ton.
Interest will cease thirty days from
this notice. Dated August 7th, 1911.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1911-08-11
= 9 o 8 o o o o o o 8 o o o o Q
O BASEBALL NOTES. 9

8 o o @ @ o o o o O. o o o o o o
Portland has a great team this sea-
son and the Oregon city has a fine
chance to win the Pacific Coast
League pennant.
Manager Steve Flanagan, of the
BrocktOn team, says that i1f Henrik
sen he has the star outfielder in the
New England League.
President Carson says that the
Central League will play out its
schedule and that no further changes
in the circuit are contemplated.
The Eau Claire and La Crosse
teams of the Minnesota wisconsin
League recently played nineteen in
nings, Lacrosse coping the game 1
to 0.
The Boston and the St. Louis Am
orleans and the Cincinnati Nationals
are all bidding for Pitcher Will Kir-
win of the Danville Three-I League
team.
The Augusta team has been taken
over by the directors of the South
Atlantic League and will be known
as the s. A. L. team the balance of the
season.
From Southern League scribe:
Mother Ryan, you remember the
dear old girl, dropped in yesterday.
Too high priced for the Cotton
States, that is how she explains the
harsh rattle of can a her heels.
San Bernardo, Santa Barbara,
Ventura, Oxnard, Venise, Doyles and
San Diego, Calf, have organized a
winter league and will open the
season after the closing of the major
leagues. Quite a number of big
leaguers have agreed to join the or
ganigation.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1911-08-11
o o o o 6. 8. q O.. o o. o q /,
WITH THE BoxEKsl.

Sam McVea has challenged Sam
Langford to box for $4,000 a side,
the bout to take place in London.
Digger Stanley, England's cham
pion bantam, has changed his mind
about coming to this country next
month to meet Johnny Conlon.
Pat Powers, the New York pro-
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1911-08-11
THREE GREAT DANISH CLANS
Hansens, Petersons and Soerensens
Compose Four Fifths of People.

The Danish government recently
found 1t necessary to grant heads Of
families the privilege of changing
their names if they feel so disposed
without mourning any legal costs.
This is a necessary piece of legisla-
ton, for the population of Denmark
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1911-08-11

is divided into three great clans-the
Hansens, the Petersens and the
Soerensens. In one Town of 25.-
900 Inhabitants over four-fifths bore
one or the other of these names.
Many of these have taken advantage
of the new law and assumed more
distinctive names.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1911-08-11

Youngstown has a great hitter in
Joe Phillips. He is leading the o
and P League in batting.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1911-08-11

Richter, Curtiss, Brown and Ar
and Bliss.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1911-08-11

American League.
Philadelphia 4; Chicago 5.
Washington 8; St. Louis 8.
New York ~; Detroit 5.