The Washington herald., 1911-12-10
lEnter Miss Greenback.l

Miss Greenback. once she rose to famous
Miss Greenback.
Free Silver stole my blond wig and my
eight bars of music, during which time
the members %sn5Ts,o 81 the ballet pose'
really do not like those trousers, Dante,
much prefer the customary panty.
Dante.
Maj. Sylvester wouldn't take chance,
Our District censors say they must wear
pants.
Marguerite
l know the lot. There isn't one who would
Not push me from the spotlight If she
could.
know them, too. for like most other men,
I've jollied them a little now and then.
Stand-Pat Is Quite Confident.
did bass voice a new version of the Calf
of Cold song, laughing deep "Ha! Ha!
Ha" as he predicted that he would rule
at last. At the conclusion Of the song
Miss Marguerite Democracy inquired:
All of our parties, small as well as great?
You've had your day, Stand-Pat. Your
ways we shun.
To which Mephisto replied:
I'll gather you ALL in ere have done;
For every party as it starts in life
And when his cause is won, he does his
best
To braveIy hold It safe 'gainst every test,
Defending each assault with all his powers:
GET OURS.
This settled it. To the stirring music
of the soldiers chorus the merry villagers
advised everybody to stand pat.
Stand pat IL you WILL they sang, but
never stand STILL
And with this parting injunction the
operatIc troupe gaylN disappeared from
view.
La FoIIette's Band.
The psychological moment having ar
rived for another song. the willing war
blers of the club gathered around the
piano and meIodied forth the familiar
strains OF "Alexanders Rag Time Band"
with the following chorus:
Come on along, come on along.
Hear La Follette,s own brass band;
Come on along, come on along.
It's the loudest in the land;
1t can make a bigger noise than you ever
Sounds like the boom of a Presidential
That's just the busy little band,
Yes, II am.
"rHE DOVE OF PEACE"
AS the dinner progressed proper con-
sideration was given to the arbitration
question. In the center of the hall was
placed a large windlass. and a member
OF the Cuba very weIl-built and ath-
letic member-was observed trying to
operate 1t. This led to an inquiry from
President Garthe as to the meaning of
the machinery.
II have a dove of peace" was the re-
ply. and l am trying to get II in here"
More creaking of the windlass, and
then, slowly and with much hesitation, a
large goose came down the wire.
That isn't a dove OF peace said
President Garthe: that is a goose
THE dove of peace is always a goose"
was the sententious reply.
The dove-goose brought several mes
sages to President Taft. One of them,
from Roosevelt, announced that he was
for peace as soon as he had finished
ripping State Chairman Barnes: another,
from J. ogden Armour, asserted that the
beef packers were for peace. first, last,
and all the time; still another, from Sem
ator Penrose, stated that he was strong
for peace and organization, while the
message from Judge Gary. Of the steel
trust, had this line:
Sure l am for peace. ! didn't start it"
Clifford PinChot's peace message was
also greeted with laughter. There have
been three men in the arctic region
Cook. Peary, and Fisher" 1t ran. 'One
OF them is a faker. II I were not for
peace, would start trouble" al
OTHER FEATURES.
There were many other features. one
of the most mirth-provoking being the
presentation to President Taft Of an
enormous volume. resembling a railroad
mileage book.
He was informed that II contained
tickets enough to travel 10000 miles. AS
II was about to be presented to him, It
few back by means of a hidden spring
into the hands of the member who dis
played it. Finally. however, It man
aged to reach its new owner with the
remark that it contained return ticket
to Washington. This remark, greeted with
applause. served as the introduction to
the Presidents speech.
An auspciOus interval having arrived
for more music the members OF the
chorus were dragged forth from their
places at the table and sang again. This
time it was a parody on Every Little
Movement" which engaged attention.
There were, of course, any number of
movements-the prohibition movement.
the woman suffrage movement, the recall
and all the rest of them, the song con-
cluding with the hope that II an extra
session OF Congress should come again,
the President would learn "a way to
teach our Congressman a motion TO ad-
journ." This was the chorus:
Every little movement has a meaning
all its own.
Every reformation has a boom that's
nearly grown,
And when you notice the high position
That's assumed by some politician
You will notice a great ambition
For a glory that's all his own.
DIR. Wiley Gets the Votes.
OF course the dinner would not have
been complete without a Presidential
primary. This was conducted after the
most approved fashion, ballots being dis
tributed so that all the guests could have
an opportunity to express their choice.
Many of them took the matter quite seri-
onsly, and, as a matter of fact nearly
everybody wrote President Tafts name
on the little slip of paper. II the real
returns had been announced they would
have shown about 200 for Taft and ten
scattering. This was not, however, the
way in which the honest tellers reported
They solemnly asserted that this was the
result:
James R. Garfield, T.
Senator Cummins, l.
Senator Clapp, l.
Joseph l.. Bristow, !.
Near Minister to China Charles r.
La Toilette, 101-2.
Bourne, q.
DR.. Harvey w Wiley, 161.
DR. Wiley wins the nomination" was
the triumphant announcement, whereupon
there was great applause from everybody
except Senator Bourne and Senator
La Toilette" who rushed into the room
shouting loudly that they had been bum