davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn leader., 1911-05-12
.PARSoN PREACHED
TO CROWDED PEWS
Practical Joker Lured Untaith.
fu to Church.

Fred A. Emery of Washington looks
like divine. but most distinctly he is
not. He was on visit to little town
in New Hampshire when friend Of
his at the hotel introduced him to q
group Of business men as the Rev. DR.
McCabe. Emery fell in with the joke
and his pious looking face helped the
thing along. In q short while he was
lamenting the tendency among men to
disregard the duty Of going to church.
'Golf," he said sadly, "and automo'
biles and other amusements have sup
planted worship in the church. This
generation is deteriorating and it Is
the greatest thing we have to fight,
this lack of interest in the church"
With that he heaved a windy sigh
and looked like Niobe at her worst.
The business men looked uncomfort.
able and agreed with DIR. McCabe.
This moved him to make an appeal.
why can't you start the reform?''
he asked and added enthusiastically,
How many Of you will promise to
come to hear my sermon tomorrow
morning?"
OF course they all promised. This
performance was repeated with anoth.
er group. and when the thing was all
over Emery had the promise Of twenty
men that they would hear his sermon
the next morning at the church he
named.
At church time he stationed himself
with his friend in the vestibule Of the
building, and as each Of the faithful
twenty filed in Emery laughed up his
sleeve. They saw him and realized
how they had been. sold. but they were
too far in to back out, and they heard
the sermon preached BY real minis
ter. After church they looked for
Emery.
But he had been wise He had taken
q train which ran through the town at
a convenient hour while services were
in progress. Popular Magazine.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12

sticking to the ground in the valley a.
the ground was warm, but on Mount
Badly and the ranges surrounding the
valley there was evidence Of 4 brisk
snow storm during the night.
LEwIsTowN, July 1O.-After being
out only thirty minutes the jury in the
case of Frank Laverdure, charged
with the murder of Peter Wells, near
Grass Range over a year and q half
ago, returned q verdict Of guilty of
manslaughter, leaving the punishment
to be fixed by the court. Laverdure
and Wells, halfbreeds, were brothers.
in.law and had been drinking together.
On their way home they had q drunken
quarrel, and 1t is supposed that Law.
endure hit Wells over the head with q
rock, fracturing his skull and inAict-
ing q fatal wound.
LEw1sTOwN, July 9.-The precipi.
tation here for six months ended June
80 amounted to more than IL inches
and was, OF course, heavier in many
other localities ia the basin. This
total is above the average and a total
for the year of about % inches is ex.
pected. The winter wheat cannot be
benefited by more rain, and Is now in
perfect condition and maturing rapid.
ly. With a fair yield of spring wheat
the Judith basin will turn out approx.
imately 5000, 600 bushels of wheat this
year.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
DOORS AND MOISTURE.
4 Scheme That Is Said to Improve thu
Sense Of Smell.

4 Scheme That Is Said to Improve tho
Sense Of Smell.
1.-THE most striking fact connected
with my school career" said the prep
school graduate, Twas a peculiar abil-
ity on the part Of our commandant to
detect the fair test odor Of smoke in
a room IN his daily inspection. The
school I attend n was Of the military
variety, and smoking was a rather Sc.
rious offense. No matter how much a
room had been aired or famed with
wet towels previous to the inspection,
the offender was always caught.
"After l had received my finishing
touches and become a citizen l made
so bold as to inquire from what Pc
culiar ~dispensation of providence the
ability was given to detect one mole
Guile Of smoke in a hundred cubic feet
| Of pure air. The old boy smiled and,
binding me to secrecy, impaired the
reason of his wonderful ability. Then
he took me to a boys vacated room
my n~ostrils with it and sniff. 10 and
behold, where before there seemed
no faint in the atmosphere was now
detected that smell of old tobacco
smoke! Since then l have taught
school myself and have used the trick
occasionally, entirely for experimental
purposes. however.
II have also sought the scientific e.
PLANTATION, but with little success. 1t
may. however, be somewhat analogous
to the process of tasting. You know,
it is impossible to taste anything that
is not dissolved in water or is not a
liquid itself. So the moisture on the
nostrils must carry the small particles
Of smoke in a more or less damp state
to the olfactory nerve ends and thus
make the smell more apparent. AT
least this is the only explanation
have ever found for the phenomenon.
"The same thing al also be used
for detecting other odors, and l have
found it useful on a number OF occa
sions for this purpose, both in analyti
cal chemistry. when only a small par
ticle of a certain material is available
for analysis, and in detecting faint per
fume from flowers that are ordinarily
quite odorless. "-Chicago Record-Her
aid.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
Saving the Money.

In a certain parish in Scotland COL
lectors were going round soliciting con-
tributions for the kirk. On coming to
a wretched little howell they hesitated
whether or not to enter. but finally de-
cided to "try their luck" A hale old
man greeted them. and to him they ex-
planned their errand, but he really had
nothing to give them, he said.
Cant you gle up your whisky?" one
Of the visitors asked. mo-" be said,
II don't drink whusky." Perhaps then
he could forego the pleasures Of snuff.
No; he didn't use snuff.
The collectors prepared to move on,
"Stop a Bit" cried the old fellow. II
pay Sandy, the barber, twopence every
Saturday night for shaving me. Tell
the meenister he can have the two
pence If he'll come and shave me him.
self!'
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
They Wore Very Grateful.

Wilson Barrett once had a lot Of
workmen redecorating his private resi-
dence. and. thinking to give them a
treat. he asked them If after work
one evening they would all like to
have seats to come and see him play
In THE Lights O. London" at the Prin-
cess. They said they didn't mind If
they did. and. being given compliment
tary tickets, all went to witness on a
Saturday night their employers pro-
duction. At the end of the week Bar
rett's eye caught sight on the pay
sheet Of an item against each work
mans name, which read: saturday
night. Four hours overtime at Prin-
cess theater, 8 s%hillings."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
A Woman and q Check.

A woman handed the cashier at a
fashionable New York hotel the check
of the cashier of q Denver bank on a
local bank.
This check Is no good, madam" he
informed her.
But why? The cashier Of the Den.
yer bank sent 1t to me-"
at is unsigned" explained the cash.
Ter.
"Oh, is that the trouble? Well, here
have a letter from the cashier him
self telling me he is ~inclosing the
check"
But that will do the check no good"
said the patient hotel cashier.
"But why" persisted the woman,
"ean't you cut this signature off the
letter and paste 1t on the check? That
would make it all rigat."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
IT WASN'T A FISH.
And Jed Brooks Found Out at Want
No Bird Neither"

And Jed Brooks Found Out ut van
No Bird Neither"
The following story comes from York
Harbor. Me-: Say, yer know that lit.
erary chap tibet he'd the Furness cot.
tage up on the hill two years ago last
summer-Mark Twain, l b'lieve they
called i'm. Gee, ye'd never think ter
look at i'm tibet he could write books!
"Waal, he ulster come over ter my
house an set fer hours to a time while
l spun yarns an told i'm about York
folks an things. Seemed to Re real
sociable like-liked ter smoke an talk
an joke with an old fool like me.
"Waal. one day he come ter me look
in kind O. worried like, and his hair
was all ruftled up like he'd been aout
in a stiff %nor'easter, an he SEE, 'Cap'n
Brooks, can you tell me IL there is an
o%steopath at the Harbor?
"'Waal.' seq l, they mebbe. but
amt never ketched one on 'em, an
I've been fishin' here nigh onter forty
years. he looked at me kind O. queer
an then said he guessed he'd 60 up
ter the drug store an enquire.
"Waal, l went home an told the old
woman abaout it, an she SEE, You big
fool. Jed Brooks. faint no fish; it's q
bird So then l went inter the best
room an took down the c%yclopedium
my boy Steve he'd when he was ter
Harvard college. an I'll be burned If
1t want no fish at all, nor it want no
bird neither, but a newfangled kind OF
q doctOr!"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
COUNTING HEADS.
The First Census Was Taken by Moses
In the Wilderness.

In the Wilderness.
There is a record of a ems in
China as far back as the year 2O42
3. G. and Of n In Japan in h last
century before Christ. Under the con-
%stitution Of Scion the citizens OF Ath-
ems were divided and registered in four
classes, according to the amount of
their taxable property or income. The
Roman census was burdened with
more statistics than any Of these, how
ever. 1t had its origin under Servius
Tullius, sixth king Of Rome. and was
an affair Of much solemnity. Every
citizen had to appear upon the Campus
Martius and declare upon oath his
name and dwelling and the value OF
his property under the penalty Of hav'
ing his goods c~onfscated.
The most ancient statistical record
Of a census is found in the Bible. The
census was taken by Moses In the
wilderness, and, as shown by the first
chapter Of Numbers, the enumeration
must have been very simple. Take
ye," says this account. "the sum Of all
the congregations of the children Of
Israel, after their families, by the
house Of their fathers, with the num-
Der of their names, every male by
their polls; from twenty years old and
upward, all that are able to 60 forth
to war in Israel; thou and Aaron shall
number them by their armies" This
census vas a affair that must have
been soon over, lasting no longer than
one day. being merely a counting OF
the heads Of the fighting men. The
women and children and cripples and
the old men were not included; mel
Their were the Levites numbered among
them" Those who did stand up tc
be numbered totaled COS $50. - New
York World.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
Family Portraits.

The famous Lord Chesterfield had a
relative, a Mr.. Stanhope, who was ex-
ceedingly proud Of his pedigree, which
he pretended to trace to a ridiculous
antiquity. Lord Chesterfield one day,
London. saw a miserable daub Of
Adam and Eve In Eden. He pur-
chased this painting. and, having writ
ten on top Of it, adam de Stanhope
Of Eden and Eve, his wife," he sent 1t
to his relative as q valuable old family
portrait.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12

the day and began his reveille (can it
be played on the pipesD on Sunday
morning.
At the first squeal Of the pipes the
angry master of the house thrust his
head from the bedroom window and
cried Indignantly: Here, here, mon!
Do you not know the fourth COM
mandment?"
mo, sir" replied the weak but will
ing piper, but if youll-hic-whistle it
Ill-hic-try 1t, SIR"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
Easy on Him.

Tom Weldon on a journey from Al
toona to Philadelphia got into a game
Of cards with a young man. The
young man lost steadily. Finally, as
Philadelphia drew near, he was out
a total of $61.
The young man had a hard hunt to
produce all this money. From one
pocket he took two twenty-dollar bills,
from another two ives, from his
waistcoat a ten dollar goldpiece and a
silver dollar and from his trousers a
half dollar, a quarter, two dimes and
four pennies. The final penny he
couldn't find. search where he would.
"I'm awful sorry" he said to Tom
Weldon. I'm a cent short"
"Never mind, young man." said Tom
genially. I'VE won't stick at a cent
You can give your evening paper"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
Undesirable Confirmation.

Senator John Kern Of Indiana tells
this story about his predecessor, the
late Senator Dan Voorhees,:
Voorhees, frequently made the claim
that more Democrats than Republic
ant had been enrolled from Indiana
In the Union army during the war
between the states. On one occasion
he made the assertion in connection
with a speech in Sullivan county.
Il guess anybody will admit that
considerably more than half the peo-
pie who went into the Union army
from Sullivan county were Demo-
Gratis" he declared with emphasis.
"A Democrat down in one of the
front rows had taken a drink or two
before he came to the meeting, and he
confirmed Voorhees, statements.
"Yes; it's true" he shouted. Col
darn it, they drafted us"-Indianapo-
lis Star.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
Her Bashful Beau.

An intensely bashful young man
was driving one evening with a young
lady whom he had been calling on for
some time previous. The stiffness of
the evening and the beauty of the
scene around him inspired his courage,
and, sitting stifly erect and with his
face forward. he suddenly blurted out,
MAY l kiss you?"
"Surely," she coyly replied.
Jaw" he said, his face scarlet and
larruping his horses to a run-"aw, ]
was only fooling."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
The ~ y
Scrap Book
His Proper Place.

A local character whom we will call
Shorty Blank has q reputation as an
actor and takes part in nearly all OF
the local shows. In the last show that
was given Shorty had one OF the lead
ing parts.
After the show. while he was taking
off his makeup, an elderly man made
his appearance in the doorway.
"Are you Mr.. Blank" inquired the
old man.
"Yes.' replied Shorty as he motion
ed him to be seated.
"Well," the old man continued, Il
just want to tell you something. I've
been watching your acting tonight.
You should not be playing in this
town; you should be with Mansfield.
Booth or Irving or Joe Jefferson"
"W-w-why," said Shorty, those ac-
tors are dead"
II know it." said the old man as be
turned on his heel and left.-Philadel.
phia Times.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
Making Sure Of Il.

Groom-What's your father going to
give US for a wedding present? Bride
"A big check, darling. Groom-Then
the ceremony must take place at 2
p. ~. instead of at 3. Bride-But
why? Groom-The banks close at s.
Cleveland Leader.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
Too Much Aid.

The professor of law was quizzing
lis class. Singing out a somnolent
student In the rear of the room, he ad-
dressed a question to him. Confused.
the student rose and bent his ear to
catch the stage whispers Of his friends
seated about him.
well. you ought to be able to an
swer," snapped the professor, with all
the aid you are receiving back there!"
Professor" came the quick reply,
II could, but there's a difference Of
opinion back here"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
Weak, but Wiling.

On a large estate in the Scottish
highlands 1t was the custom for a
piper to play in front of the house
every week day morning to awaken the
residents. After an o~verconvivial Sat
urday night, however, the piper forgot
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
Came Near II.

They We're discussing q certain au-
thoress at dinner, and a we'll known
critic raised a laugh by remarking,
WELL, her hairs red, even If her books
are not"
The mild young Englishman in the
corner made a mental note Of the sally
for future use. and at another dinner
party shortly afterward he carefully
guided the conversation into literary
channels. Fortunately some n men,
toned the desired name, and he tri-
umphantly called out. "Well. she's got
red hair, even II her books haven't"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12
One at a Time.

One at a time the murmuring raindrops
patter
On drowsy pools with IN incessant chime
Till. 10, an ocean ere the cloudlets scatter!
One at a time the shimmering sunbeams
wander
Adowns to earth from yonder cloudless
cline
Till lowliest mountain tops are smit with
splendor.
One at a time uprears the master builder
Stone upon stone with horny hands
agrime
Till shoot aloft the turrets that bewilder.
One at a time the shuttle. swiftly flying,
Filings thread on thread like throes OF
%throbbing rhyme
Till CLOVIS the tapestry with hues undying.
One at a time each patient. mute en-
deavor
IL forging characters august, sublime
In souls whose influence shall be felt for
ever.
w. c. Richardson.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-12

Yet our prices are as low or lower than elsewhere. We show a
range Of goods that we can readily recommend
|CAPPS' 1907 WOOL CLOTHING for men.
EDERHElMER- STEIN SUITS for young mn
as low as $1,000, and back Of these goods is an ironclad guarantee
Money back promptly if anything goes wrong.
The same guarantee applies to our stock Of Foot-Schulze and
Crawford shoes, our Busby hand-sewed gloves, our hole proof hosiery.
In short, we stand back of our merchandise ready to make good any
thing that is in any way defective.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
MERGER LOST,
400 To 66

ny vote of 400 10 90 tho mem
bera OF the Seattle Commercial
Club yesterday decided that they
would not consent TO a merger OF
their organization with the new"
Chamber Of Commerce. The yot.
Ing was In progress all day nj the
Commercial Club building on First
av.
Here Is what J. w. Maxwell.
president OF tho club, had To say
about the deciAion Of the members;
Tho Commercial Club has npok'
On for itaelf.
This question being settled. the
Commercial Club expresses itH de-
siro TO cooperate with all Other
commercial bodies In the upbulld'
Ing OF our state and city. and. look
ms 10 that end. II will continue itn
activities with renewed oarneatncas
and yigor."
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
SEATTLE MAN SHOT
DOWN IN COLD BLOOD

D. Andressone. who held a con.
tract for some fume work on the
Tacoma water power system al
Enumelsw, this state, shot and
killed J. W. 8prinnston, Of SO W..
Caller ct. Seattle, AZ the Enumeiaw
works yesterday afternoon. Tho
ajayer fired two ahots al his victim.
Then, making certain that Spring.
ntdn was dead, Andrcsaone blew off
the top Of his own head with tho
weapon that had killed sprlngator.
The murder was Witnessed by
X simonn. n workman. Slmons told
the Ennmeiaw authorities that
Sprlngaton and Andreeaone had
qunrraled over some work that An.
dressono had Just completed
Springston would not accept tho
work. which. he said. Was not salts.
factory. and Andressone pulled a
sun aud fired at him. according TO
the story OF the eyewitness. Then
Andfeaeone bent over his PROSTATE
victim and fired another shot into
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27

his brain. simons fled. and when
no returned with others, a few min.
utes later. the body OF the murder.
cr was found lying beside that OF
tho engineer.
Sprlnggton IL survived by n
widow and two Rrown-up daugh'
tera. who live at the w. Caller ~.
address. They went 10 Ennmclaw
this morning 10 claim springston'r
body.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
51I1ruff Goes


~. .lIsve read an that be
- rse ousasr Drug
NJ. .s,sx Nv down soc. say.
.ss,s ~ ,hat PARTISAN
y. 4. r,xrx sensible people
,...- rssr taas h home and
=. .,-.~.sa ana thsn IN you
5000 MAJ n "a inst a.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
KING P|ERP.
FIGHTING To
KEEPCR0WN

w ttft'8 49, tfHtssI WtfHsl
NEW YORK. sept. 2y.--pescr.
mined to defend hls title an "klnu
Of finance" J. pierpont Morgan
opened HE office early today to ar
range a campaign TO uphold the
market.
To ailay signs Of fear In the hold
ern OF securities of the United
States Steel corporation. Morgan
personally signed tho steel trusts
declaration OF war-in defiance OF
the Eovefnment--and has informed
his associates that he expected to
rcassure investors generally By the
power Of HIS name
That Morgan was correct IN hts
aarmisc Is evidenced BY the Lon.
don market. which opened bullish
today.
II " understood that al today'a
meeting OF the board OF directors
Of the steel trust Morgan severely
criticised certain directors for hav-
Ing permitted the inference 60 set
abroad that tho trust was willing
voluntarily to dissolve.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
AEROPLANE
IS BURNED

A real acroplano burned In this
city In q $4,000 fire early this morn.
ing Tho estimated value OF the
machine was ti.35o The fire de.
stroyod most OF tho Abner Sinclair
Carriage Works. occupying the one.
story frame building on Eighth av..
just east Of wostlako. Sinclair
places hts loss at $1,000.
The alrship was curtika Farnam
biplanc. owned by the Washington
Acronautic Co The machine was
complete but for the engine. en-.
pccted 20 arrive today. A trial
flight was TO have been made Sun.
day. October 8. with A. ID. Roberts
Al the wheel.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
lam STRIKE
TOMORROW

deavor TO settle the differences he.
tween the shopmen aud their en-.
players.
Tho presidents Of the various In.
ternationai trade unions represent.
cd on the Hartman lines ARE in
conference with Kline here today,
the chief topic Of discussion being
the probability Of a strike. Kline
insists that everything possible 10
being done to adjust matters and
avoid strike. but he added that
Esvlng the railroad officials a chance
10 eonfvr with their union employees
In New York today win be positive.
~ the last means resarted to Ia
order To avoid waikout Of tho men
on all lines
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
LOST IN THE
ETERNAL SHOWS

SiSSoN. Cal. Sept. 2f-Three
rescue parties are searching today
through the SHOWS Of Mount shasta
for four hunters. Harry Naples. Her
bert Hall and Frank aud Harry Pur.
din. aged from "a 10 20 years. who
left here Sunday on = deer hunt
The Purdin boys followed the
other two with pack animals and
provisions. but failed 10 reach them.
None Of the party has been heard
OF since Sunday. and Il n feared
tha, disaster has oyertakcn the
youths
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
MAYOR 70 BREAkI
POTATO CORNER

INDIANAPOLIS. Ind. Sept n
In order 10 break a local corner on
potatoes. Mayor shank announced
today that be mas bought a carload
of spuds. which will be sold Sat
urday. Potatoes are nov selling at
Si.so a bnshei. bat the mayor will
sell them for 60 cents. plus the
freight charge.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
FIVE KILLED IN
PITCHED BATTLE

LITTLE ROCK. Ark. Sept. III
Five people were killed In pitched
battle between officers and negroes
near Dumna. Ark. The officers
we're trying 10 arrest come negroes
when others opened fire. Sheriff
w. ID. Preston and Deputy Sheriff
barney Stsil are the dead whites.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
OLD PREACHER
JllT? IS SUED

BAN JOSE, Cal. Sept 1.-THE
Rev II y. Bcsse. Free Methodist
minister. who vas married last
Sunday 10 Mrs. Anna Mary spivey.
was sued today for $4,000 dam.
AGES on breach Of promis. charges
BY Mira. Cynthia NJ. Thompson. an
artist OF this city.
Mira Thompson says that scy.
cral years ago the aged minister
asked her 10 marry him. and that
she consented. Then she learned
that the Rev. Mr.. Bcsse married
Mrs srivey last Saturday.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-09-27
lists Call Ferry
,e Miles Away

rru,A. No. Sept. sT---whsn
sss,s mosoriss reaches q
- rlies on either side q
~, liver At Glasgow now,
>s = electric baton placed
~. -. NJ the time ne
~ liver bank he viii find
'sav % convey him across
. s'sn cursiss I'm told .ne