davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

[From the Chicago News.J
It's easy to call the turn II q man is
a crank.
Some people seem to enjoy telling
hard luck stories.
A yellow cur may be brave, but his
color is against him.
Women frequently go up in the air
when they jump at conclusions
Just because a woman has but little
to say is no sign she doesn't talk a lot.
If all flesh is grass, bibulous man
in a dry town must feel like a bale Of
hay.
When poverty comes in at the front
door it's up to love to get out and
hustle for job.
A vocal teacher cultivates vour
voice, if you have one-otherwise he
cultivates your Imagination.
It's wonder that more men are NOT
round shouldered from carrying sucll
big opinions of themselves.
A man can enjoy visiting his wife,z
relatives by thinking how pleasant
home will seem when he gets back.
It's easy for woman to ret
caught in shower without an nm
breila-and that is all the excuse she
needs for getting a new hat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.1


Some men are so industrious they
don't know what to do Wheh they get
vacation.
A boys idea of vanity is wearing
underwear during the open season at
the swimming hole.
Our notion of the best natured man
is one who can cheerfully pay WIN
ter coal bill in June.
Although it is hard work to argue,
people aren't as agreeable as they
might be during hot weather.
Aviators make too much money in
view of the fact that they are not apt
to live long enough to spend it.
There are also a few men whose
first love was too young at the time to
be engaged in teaching school.
The joy-rider certainly has that
short life and a merry one" theory
down to the most condensed form.
Speaking of other peoples money.
there are society women who acquire
a good deal of nerve in spending it.
While two heads may be better than
one, hope begins to wane when the
doctors begin holding consultations.
When we go in for devilment, it is
going to be something more entertain
ing than teaching a parrot to swear.
A preacher is different from other
people in that he can still attract some
attention to being accused of hereSy.
Although the labor law may not
mention it, 1t is also believed that the
alarm clock is entitled to a rest on
Sunday.
Are you one of the kind who has to
kill friend accidentally before begin
ming to realize that gun is a deadly
weapon?
When a woman starts after a d.
vorce, she will chase it almost as hard
as she did the man she is trying to
get rid of.
No doubt you have often wondered
why the crowd on the bleachers does
MT desert its position to join the big
| leagues.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07
THE KANSAS MERCHANTS.

This is one of the banner weeks of
the year for Topekans, and particu-
larly the bushes men and the manu-
facturers. One doesn't have to look
far for the reasons. They are to be
seen in great numbers on the streets.
They look like bankers and pluto
Gratis, and most OF them are in the lat
ter class for they are the merchants
of Kansas. one of the most prosperous
of all the states in the union. And the
great beauty about the prosperity of
Kansas, which has assumed perma-
nent proportions, is that ii is so gen
eral. All of the citizens of the state
share in it. That makes for peace
and contentment all around. No class
is arrayed against class. Each frag-
ment of society is in harmony with
it's neighbour, except perhaps in the
political arena. But the politics of
Kansas is the great pastime of its
people and the bark Of the profess
sional politician is much worse than
his bite.
In establishing prosperity on a firm
foundation in Kansas, large part
has been played by the merchants,
those in the smaller cities and towns
ar WON dS S1fOSC III l1kO A1l6 Sci AOSdAI-
ties. One is tempted to think occa-
sionally that perhaps too much credit
is given to the farmers of the state
for its paramount position. 1t is true
that much of the greatness of Kan
sas is due to the agricultural activf-
ties Of its people. Nor would one deny
the farmers an iota of praise for the
magnificent way in which they have
conquered the valleys and plains and
made them yield abundant harvests
of enormous intrinsic value. But the
Kansas merchant has played his part
even in the agricultural development
of the state. And it has been no small
one. 1t is well within the truth to
say that many of the most prosperous
and successful of the Kansas farmers,
who are advertising to the world, by
their great work, the wonderful agri-
cultural possibilities of the Sunflower
state. would not be on the pinnacles
where they are resting secure today
had it not been for the fact that dur
ing times of stress in the past, the
Kansas merchants denied themselves
and their families many things to ex-
tend all possible credit to their agra
rian brothers. Even today many a
Kansas farmer is tided over a tight
place by the credit that is willingly
given him by his friend, the merchant.
It's been team work that has made
Kansas what it is today-team-work
on the part of all Kansans, team
work in which the merchants. have
always pulled their share of the load
and sometimes a little bit more. Is
it any wonder that Topekans are de-
lighted to have the Kansas merchants
for their guests? They are, and al
ways have been, of the bone and sinew
of this glorious state. Nor have they
always been given the credit they de-
serve for the part they have placed in
making it such a wonderfully pros
porous commonwealth.
Welcome. merchants of Kansas. It's
to be hoped that your visit will be an
an enjoyable one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

Noise from down Hunnewell way:
''What'sth' tterwithHunnewell? Mrs.
Wilson, that'sall."
The Ottawa girl who left a suicide
note when she eloped with the hired
man, probably had it in mind to break
the news gently.
Most people have fads. and the fav-
orite' fad is knocking something on
the grounds that it is Injurious to
tobacco; still others make a breakfast
of nine pancakes, four fried eggs,
half a pound of ham and half a pie,
and then charge one cup OF weak cof-
fee with the responsibility for stomach
troubles.
Again we desire to call your atten-
ton to the excellent service furnished
by the local gas company. There
hasn't been a blowout at Scipio for
several days.
The only good thing to be said about
a professional gossip is that she is
usually too busy talking about the
band.
A Sweet Young Thing may learn to
love an old man,-providing he spends
enough on her education.
Large checks are the correct thing
in suits. (May be used ad lib as a
dressmaking note or in connection
with suit for alimony).
It's too blamed hot to write para
graphs.
Also too blamed hot to read them
after they are written
This is the shortest collection of
junk that ever appeared under the "By
the Way heading. Great improve
ment, don't you think?
Hep
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07
Ark Not in Mosque.

DR.. Nicholas A. Koenig, lecturer in
Oriental languages at Columbia uni
versity, who visited Jerusalem in 1909
and 1910 as Thayer fellow in the Ameri-
can School of Oriental Research there,
declares that if the archaeologists who
have invaded the Mosque of Omar have
obtained possession of the Ark of the
Covenant their discovery is remark
able.
This is a remarkable discovery, if it
has been made" declared DR.. Koenig,
for the Jews upon their return from
the Babylonfan exile seem not to have
known the whereabouts of the ark.
When they returned, the holy of holes
of the temple contained nothing but a
stone, three fingers high from the
ground upon which the high priest
placed the censor every day of atone
ment. So =~.s-=--- A-a-A@-
1.-THE PROCLAMATION of the Mosque of
Omar, or the Mosque Al-Aqsa, it's pro-
per name, does not lie any more in the
carrying away of the relics than in the
entering upon the digging in the sanctu-
airy without permission from the auth
critics.
'The place is sacred to Mohammedans,
because it was here that Mohammed as
cended to heaven after his night ride
from Mecca, according to the teachings
of their religion. 1t is incumbent upon
every good Mohammedan after he has
made a pilgrimage to Mecca to pay a
pious visit to the mosque.
When I arrived at Jerusalem in 1903
the expedition which is credited with
having recovered the relics was max
ing excavations north Of the Pool of
Sloan, just west of the Virgins Pool.
searching for the graves of David and
Solomon and Solomon'S palace. 1t was
the general opinion that they were fol-
lowing the suggestion of Clement Gan
meau, the celebrated French archae-
ologist. The excavators were very reti-
cent, and it was impossible to learn
anything from them regarding their
plans or their discoveries"
DR.. Koenig was in the mosque on
March 9, 1910, when a Mohammedan ia
matte from Afghanistan fred upon and
injured two women in a party Of Amer
leans who were visiting the mosque
New York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

IFrom the New York Press
The way to teach girl to flirt is to
give her chance.
On the whole marriage is a success
in spite of the people who do it.
If it's twins a man is so naturally
ungrateful as not to be thankful it
isn't triplets.
It's mighty powerful conscience
that can bother a man as long as he
keeps a good appetite.
It's just like man to show better
temper over falling overheard than
getting caught in a shower.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

and their horses have become unman-
ageable through their inability to keep
their feet. Some such accident is GER
tain to occur unles sthe slippery con-
dition of the pavements is removed.
This is matter that should receive
the prompt attention of the city au-
thorities. It would appear that the
city might be held liable to damages
for accidents that occurred in this
fashion. And little forehandedness
in an important matter of this sort
might be profitable.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07
KANSAS COMNENT

NATURE STORIES AND SCIENCE
Nature is wonderful. Ny brother
Bruce, the farmer, told me today about
setting hens. When hen first begins
to set. she knows it is safe to leave her
nest for an hour at a time. But as the
period of Matching approaches, she
knows that she must not leave the
eggs, and will starve rather than leave
them; she will go without food and Wa
ter rather than quit her nest during the
last week Hens sometimes starve on
their nests, my brother says, unless
FOOD Is placed within their reach. And
regularly every day, hen turns her
eggs over; sometimes twice. At other
times, a. setting hen knows her eggs are
too warm, so she stands up, and cools
them. And the little chickens, when
they are perfect in the shell, pick their
way out They pick their way to life:
to the privilege of being displayed in
'front.' or grocery stores, with their legs
tied. My brother, the farmer, tells a
still more wonderful story about bees,
= which he keeps a dozen hives. One
IDLE day, he deeply interested me for an
hour, telling about his bees. All he
Knows about bees, he picked up from
handling them. Some people imagine
that science is in some way related to
the Black Art. My brothers knowl-
edge of bees and hens is science: it IS
actual knowledge from actual expert
ference between my brother and Her
bert Spencer is that Spencer knew more
OF 1t: he devoted his life to it, while my
brother has picked up the little science
ne knows in his experience as farm
er. If setting hens know as much as
my protner says they do; if little chick
ems in the shell know they must pick
their way to liberty and life, is there a
more wonderful story in the human
family? And these perfectly true ma
ture stories would fill thousands of
volumes The story of a little chicken
picking it's way out of the shell, is as
wonderful as any of the stories men in
vent about themselves. And the story
about the little chickens is true: it hap
pens a million, times day. It often
seems to me a shame that an intelli-
gence able to pick it's way out of a shell
when only a few minutes old, should be
destroyed so completely as fried chick
en.-E- w. Howe's Monthly for June
TALKING SHOP.
The man forever talking shop is
necessarily unpopular What would
you think of a doctor who would in
sist on telling you about legs he has
sawed orr whenever you meet him or
a merchant if he would continually
point with pride to his prunes when
was so lopsided with religion that he
couldn't talk of anything else, just
talk shop continually. Let any man
insist on talking shop and people will
and they should. A man should at
tend to his own business and then for
get 1t and go to the baseball games,
debates, social gatherings of ali kinds
and Join every booster organization
in town and help along. But don't
bore your friends with shop talk. It's
bad taste. Come out of it, old top
Florence Bulletin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Most folk can only change for the
better.
The only people who don't make
mistakes are under six feet of earth.
=
Becoming popular and remaining
that way are decidedly different
propositions.
=
Fish are also about the only things
that can be caught without having to
be chased.
Rare are the instances when child
rem are handicapped by their parents,
regardless of what many of the former
seem to think.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State Journal
away from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
each day to any address at the rate of
TEN cents a week or thirty cents a
month Cby mail only. Address
changed as often as desired. While
ont OF town the State journal Will be
to you like q daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

If everybody. remarks the Chicago
Tribune, has said that the tobacco
trust has been "snuffed out" or "has
gone up in SMOKE" let us consider the
incident closed and plug along as here
tofore. The Tribune might have added
that there are plenty of other topics 10
cIouu On
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

All possible assistance should be given
by park visitors and people living near
the parks to Commissioner Stotts in
his efforts to apprehend the vandaIs
who inture the trees and shrubs in To-
pelEa's beauty spots. Most Of the dep
relations must be the work Of thought
less boys. But examples should be
made of some of them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

Isn't this casus belIi between the
United States and Great Britain?
Queen Mary has given a public snub
to Mrs. AIva Willing Astor, the di-
vorced wife of Col John Jacob Astor.
Thus does the possibility of universal
peace between Great Britain and the
United States go a-glimmering.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

Such a fuss was stirred I'D over the
holding of the Johnson-Jeffries fight,
that the predictions were many that
it would sound the death knen of
prize-fghting in this country. Now the
prize-fight promoters are figuring on
establishing a boxing circuit similar
to the vaudeville circuits They are
going to guarantee the toxers a con-
tinuous string of weekly matches.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

Judge Kenesaw Mountain Lands has
empanelled a special grand jury to in
vestigate the so-called lumber trust
And if Judge Lands gets a chance for
a good swat at this lumber octopus he
can be depended upon to smash it into
kindling wood, or he'll try to, anyhow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

President Taft has scored again. His
deserved rebuke of the army officer
who turned down an applicant for pro-
motion from the ranks simply because
he happened to be Jew, breathes OF
the freedom and tolerance that were
the foundation rocks on which these
United States were established Colonel
Garrard, the officer in question, is out
OF his element. He ought to be in the
army Of France.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

If Pedestrian Weston, aged though
he may be, had started from Paris at
the same time as did the aviators in
the great Paris to Turin aeroplane
race, he would have reached Turin long
ago, and nearing Paris on the return
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

All eyes in the sporting world will be
turned for the immediate future on one
Mike Donlin to see if he can come back
as one of the premier fielders and
batsmen in the National league. Mike
deserted baseball for vaudeville.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

his life by putting a bullet in his
brain. Most important in this life is
the conservation of ones health. The
healthy man sleeps well and eats well.
His battle with life is as good as won.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

Strange. passing strage! But the
people of Emerson. Kan, a shining ex-
ample Of the right kind of town in a
prohibition state, recently saw a bril-
liant rainbow at midnight.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

A drouth in the New England states
is threatening the fruit crop. This is
distressing and regrettable, but if it puts
the jinx on the cranberry crop it Will
be one of those i'll winds that gives a
satisfying twist.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

If there is anything the visiting Kan
sas merchants happen to want, which
they don't see or which is not within
easy reach, they will confer a favor on
Topekans by just speaking out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

''For what is a man profited, if he
shall gain the whole world, etc" AL
exander Scnreiner, a retired silk man
ufacturer of Brooklyn, had every com
fort money could buy. But he was de-
nisd sleep and. an appetite. SO he ended
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

Prominent naval officers believe that
the cause of the explosion which de-
stroyed the battleship Maine in Ha-
vana harbor some IL years ago may
never be ascertained. Perhaps this is
lust as well.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

One Of the mysteries is as to how
New Jersey managed to worry along
during the several weeks absence OF
woodrow Wilson from its executive
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

The State Journal is a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the run Gay
telegraph report OF that great news or
SANITATION for the exclusive AFTERNOON
publication n Topeka. -
mai building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

GU can Joly some people, but you can't
Guy de MaupaSSanti-Yale Record.
Agent-This speedomoter will enable YOU
70 {S Know now fast you are going. Otto
ance tells me that just as well.-Puck
Taking the Cure-"Yes, Mrs. GayIeigh
main there for some time. .ePuimonitis g.,
mo- Renoitis. cleveland Plain Dealer.
Precisely Stated.-Teacher - Tommy,
what is the feminine corresponding to
the masculine stag? Tommy whose
mother is society leader)-Afternoon tea
ma am'-Milwaukee Evening Wisconsin.
Why Men Are Deceivers -Tbex 1,,ars
arguing about the alleged Unborn strain
OF deceitfulness in woman, and she re-
ceiving their wives. IT SUPPOSE" said he
that you hold that a man Should never
deceive his wife" ,'oh. no." she smiled
that. How would it be possible for the
average man to get a wife if he didn't
deoeiyel her 3sTIdppineotts
Othello was telling Desdemona of tha
dangers he had undergone. but did Won
ever photograph a charging rhinoceros %
she asked. 1t was then that he dis
covered she had found other heroes in
the Illustrated magazines. and the green
eyed monster began to take possession
OF hfm.-Chicago Tribune.
Scribbles-QuiIIer tells me he has n
great mind to write a book DribbIes-T
don't believe it. Scribbles-Don't believe
b,nsEoh t. ne can write a book? Drib-
but don't believe he has a great mind
Chicago Daily News.
''Yonder is a beach camera f;end >, so,5
the first bathing girl. They are disgust
ing, 1 think" This one is particularly
disgusting, declared the second bathing
q sod III
his benefit, he ate his lunch from that
oox."-Washington Herald.
Blobbs-He claims to be an English lord
but I don't believe It. SIobbsNWhv;
BlobbS-Wel1, I've known him for rearlI,
two weeks. and he hasn't tried to borrow
any money-Philadelphia Record
is in the uplift movement?'' 1.-THE in
Post.
An Awkward Age.-Teacher-How old
I'm too young to eat the things 1ite
and too old to cry when don't get them
Chicago News.
A Fixture.-"That's a beautjfu, sir, VOL,
have in your store" said the man
acquaintance. I've seen her in the wiz
dow several days as passed "She isn't
an employee" the milliner answered wear
lily. She's a woman trying to decide on
a new hat-"-Buffalo Express.
A Deserter.-"I notice that she no longer
wears the surragette button" well
she's been having violets sent her every
day OF Observation-Disclosures Herald.
Nervous Lady Con her first ocean voy-
age)--And. captain, what in the world
would you do If your crew suddenly
mutinied? The Captain (smilingly)-Sim-
had it to the wireless operator.-Puck
ct have" said the speaker, been for
twenty years before the public, and in all
that time no man has ever dared to ac-
cuse me of having committed one dis
honest ACT" 'Mebby," said man at the
rear end Of the hall, 1.-THE public was too
busy with more important things to notice
that you were before it-''-Chicago Record
Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07
-
tke7:Is

Noise from down Hunnewell way:
'Whatsth' matterwithH Mrs.
Wilson, thatsall."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

"Yonder is beach camera fiend - said
the first bathing girl They are disgust
Ing, 1 think" This one is particularly
disgusting, declared the second bathfnS
girl After 1 had posed all mornine for.
his benefit, he ate his lunch from that
box. Herald. ~
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

Taking the Cure.-'sYes. Mrs. csavIaig,,
has found it necessary to go west and re
main there for some time" 'ePuiruonitis?''
NO. Renoitis. cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

Scribbles-QuiIler tells me he has n
great mind to write a book. DribbIes-T
don't believe it. Scribbles-Don't believe
wnat-that he can write a book? Drib-
bles-Oh, he may be able to write a hook
but don't believe he has a great mind
Chicago Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

An Awkward Age.-Teacher-How old
are you, Bobby? Bobby-Aw, NAV saws
m too young to eat the things L like,
Chicago News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

What makes you think your landIadv
Is In the uplift movement" The in
crease in the price of board."-Houston
Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07
HUAOR OF TIE DAY

You can jolly some people, but you can't
Guy de Maupassant!-Yale Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

Blobbs-He claims to be an English lord.
but l don't believe 1t. SIobbs-Why?
Blobbs-Wel, I've known him for nearly
| two weeks, and he hasn't tried to borrow
any money-Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-07

Agent-This speedomoter will enable Won
to know how fast you are going. Otto
Feend-I don't need one. NY bank bal
ance tells me that just as well.-Puck.