davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15
Josh BILLINGS Philosophy,

Admire beauty, but don't worship it
Thoze who hav never achieved suck
cess are alwus the most reddy tew tel
others how tew do it.
One ov the fussyest scenes l evel
listened To was two old maids waiting
on one sick bachelor.
Thare IL quite a difference between
luminous and a voluminOus writer
altho menny authors konfound the
two.
If yu wish tew retain the friendship
or even luv, ov others, yu must keeI
them in yure hands, and not git into
theirs.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15

Groundiess Fears.-Senator La Fol-
lette, discussing reciprocity at din
ner in Madison, said with a smile
saws the Philadelphia Ledger:
These fears are groundless. They
are groundless to the point or pelne
Iudicrous. They remind me, in fact
of Calhoun Clay.
Calhoun Clay was waiter at a
seaside restaurant. The white glare
of the sun-drenched beach injured
his eyes and he had to consult an oc-
ulist. The oculist fitted him out
with spectacles, and as he left the
shop with the spectacles on his nose
he gave a great start and halted be-
fore a huge and extraordinary ma
chine.
Calhoun stared in awe at this ma
chine for some time. Then he said;
What's dat, boss?'
THAT said the oculist solemnly
is an opthalmometer.'
"Sho," muttered Calhoun, and ne
backed further away, his eyes still
fixed upon the formidable instrument.
'Sho,' dat's what All was afeared II
wuz!'"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15
A SERIOUS SITUATION.
Primary Law Must Be Amended to
Prevent Fraud.

That the rules Of the Democratic
party in this state governing primary
regulations are crude and inadequate,
and that the state laws on the same
subject are no better, Is forcibly i'm
pressed by the statement that In
Charleston foreigners who have not
been naturalized have been enrolled
by the dozens for the coming munich
pal primary 1t Is possible that the
courts would hold that none but a
naturalized Citizen" can vote in any
election, but so far as the party rules
and the statutes go there Is no specif-
fic regulation of this matter. The need
is very real for a revision, of the rules
governing our primaries and this re-
vision ought to come in the shape OF
stringent laws enacted by the legisla-
ture. There are certain phases or
the situation which can perhaps be
more suitably reached by an amend
ment to the party constitution and
the rules by the state convention than
by legislation, but however that may
be 1t is clear that legislation Is need
ed to prevent fraud and corruption in
the contests wherein are decided the
essential questions submitted to the
voters of this state.
However, ii Is timely to suggest that
so far as carrying out the decision of
the primary is concerned, a foreigner
is in no better position than a native
of the state who is not qualified vo-
elector. a lifelong resident who has
not complied with the registration
laws of the state, or who has not paid
even his poll Tux, Is no more able to
vote in the general election than the
Greek or Italian fruit dealer, of Char
lesion, who has been in this country
barely twelve months. Yet under our
state laws and under our party rules
it is not necessary for a voter in the
primary to be a qualified elector. AS
long as this condition exists it is idle
TO declare that the enrolment of for
eigners in Charleston is very much out
of keeping with the policy of the
Democratic party in South Carolina.
We are not disposed to assert that
all the evils of the primary will be
solved by requiring the voter to be a
qualified elector, i'm the sense Of the
constitution. yet this is the first step
that should be taken in the revision Of
the primary laws and regulations
Such a provision would reach the case
of the unnaturalized resident, but
there are other amendments to our
party laws that need to be enacted,
and the next state convention should
provide for a very thorough revision.
In the time which the convention or
dinarily devotes to its work, however,
it would be impossible to complete
this task, and. therefore. the subject
deserves thorough consideration prior
to the assembling of the convention.
The legislator who will undertake
to secure the enactment Of such stat
utOry regulations as are needed to
meet this situation will do his state
very genuine service. and 1t is to be
hoped that the matter will be taken up
i'm earnest at the next session of the
general ssembly.-Columbia Record.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15

Moore and yesterday morning he was
fined five dollars, the evidence showing
that Cameron was largely responsible
for the trouble. The cases against
the officers of the Working Mans club
will not come up for hearing tomorrow,
as a settlement has been made with the
city officials by the payment of $500,
and the temporary injunction issued by
Judge Gage was made permanent. 1t
is not known what steps may be taken
by the county, but the defendants have
given bond for their appearance in case
action is taken by the county. .......
Elsewhere in this issue Is published an
interesting rumor going the rounds
namely, the suggestion of the name of
our fellow townsman, Hon. j. L. Glenn,
for governor A man respected and
honored by all who know him as an up
right, courageous gentleman, Mr.. Glenn
combines all the qualities which we
desire in q chief executive. Mr.. Glenn
would adorn the office of governor and
add honor to the position. If Mr.. Ira
B. Jones will not run, we hope Mr.. j.
L. Glenn can be persuaded to make
the race, for of course, these two will
not oppose one another. Both are too
big for that, and both are ready to do
whatever Is best for the common well
fare. The series of meetings which
have been conducted by DR.. w. w. Orr.
close tonight, and it is safe to say that
no preacher has ever stirred up the
people of Chester on the all important
subject as has DR.. Orr. Thoroughly in
earnest and with all the attainments
and gifts of a polished speaker, DR..
Orr presents his subject in such a SIM
pie and convincing manner that all can
understand He has done good, more
than one would imagine, and Chester
has been greatly benefited by his COM
ing. We know we voice the sentiment
Of the people of this city when we say
that DR.. Orr has won the esteem and
affection of us all. He Is doing a noble
work and he carries away with him the
knowledge that Chester is his friend.
We hope that he will be spared many,
many years to the service and that
Chester will some day again have an
other visit from him.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15
humorous department.
His Usual WAY,

Glenmore Davis, who is known
among his friends as Stuffy was invit-
ed to an extremely swagger dinner
party. His host had primed the other
guests with praises loud and long OF
the charm, wit and fascination OF
Stufy, and all the party expected the
prize entertainer to be on the job from
soup to nuts
In the meantime Stuffy, having
been obliged to finish an article that
afternoon, had been delayed; and, In
his final burst of speed, had taken
large slice out of his cheek while tear
ing his whiskers from his face.
Checking the flow Of blood as best ne
might, he jumped into a taxicab and
made a phenomenal trip to uptown
New York. Just as he stepped out or
the cab his foot slipped, he fell, and
his chin, jerked downward by the
tumble, unbuttoned half his collar
and pushed his tie under his right
ear.
Ushered into the house by an i'm
posing brigade # footmen. Stufry
slipped on one of those skating rink
rugs at the drawing room door and
slid like a toboggan into the midst or
the waiting dinner party. There ne
was, jammed up against the wall, the
left wing of his collar caresslng the
razor wound in his face and his tie
III fUl1
Good heavens! You fell, Stufry'
didn't you?" inquired the host, In
great alarm.
"Oh, no." replied Stuffy calmly
lifting himself up. "I always come in
that way."-Popular Magazine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15

Yu mite az we'll undertake tew
drown a knot-hole ou,, bi pouring wa
ter into it, as tew outtalk sum VIM
min know ov.
1t IL kind ov phunny that while
modesty IL the gratest evidence ov
merit, it seems tew be the poorest
guarantee ov suckcess.
am satisfied that the two gratest
bores in the world are the Hoosick
tunnel and the author who IL hunting
up a publisher for hiz fust book.
Cunning men are sure tew git
kaught at last; and when they are
kaught, they are like fox in a trap
, the silliest looking fox yo ever see.
In Bible times, when. Balem's ass
spoke. it waz a mtrakle; but the daze
ov mirakles are over, and the gratest
asses we have in theze times are the
gratest talkers.-New York Weekly.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15

Consult Veterinarian.
Clark loves to tell how in the heat OF
a debate Congressman Johnson, OF
Indiana, called an Illinois representa-
tive a jackass The expression was
unparliamentary, and in retraction
Johnson said:
while 1 withdraw the unfortunate
word, yet. Mr.. Speaker, l must admit
that the gentleman from Illinois Is
out Of order"
How am l out Of order?" yelled
the man from Illinois.
Probably a veterinary surgeon coulc
tell you" answered Johnson, ano
that was parliamentary enough tc
stay on the record.-Mack's National
Monthly
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15
Details Not Neoessary.-when San

Details Not Necessary.-When Sam
uel G. Blythe, the writer, was editing
a newspaper in New York state a
green reporter one night turned In
long and thrilling story regarding the
rough treatment handed out to John
Smith, a visitor to the town. The
story related that Mr.. Smith, wearing
a high silk hat, had ventured down
to the docks after nightfall, and, a
silk hat being unusual and provoca-
tive of antagonisms in that section,
Mr.. Smith had emerged from among
the dock hands without the hat.
Nevertheless, he carried out Of the
melee so many wounds, cuts and
bruises that he had to be sent to the
hospital.
The article, in its original form, was
too long and not in keeping with the
style of the paper. Accordingly
Blythe started to rewrite it. This is
the form in which it appeared in the
paper the next morning:
John Smith, wearing high silk
hat, went down to the docks last
night-Emergency hospital. al."-Popu-
lar Magazine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15
MEDICAL COLLEGE
OF THE STATE OF SOUTH CARO-
LIMA, CHARLESTON, s. c.
Medin;ns and pharnacy.


Session opens October I'd, 1911, ends
June Sd, 1912.
Unsurpassed clinical advantages Of
fered by the New Roper Hospital, one
OF the largest and best equipped hospi-
tails In the south. Extensive outdoor
and dispensary service under control
Of the Faculty.
Nine appointments each year fol
graduates in medicine for hospital and
dispensary services.
Medical and Pharmaceutical Labor
atories recently enlarged and fully
equipped.
Department Of Physiology and EN-
bryology in affiliation with the Charles
ton Museum.
Practical work for medical and phar-
maceutical students special feature.
For catalogue, address
ROBERT WILSON, Jr, M. D. CEAN
Cor. Queen 6 Franklin Sts., Charleston
South Carolina.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15

Repentine at Leisure.-Marie had
been naughty at the dinner table and
her mother had sent her into the next
room TO remain until she was sorry
for her behavior.
Marie cheerfully complied. Max
ing no expression of repentance after
a suitable time had elapsed, her moth
er called from an adjoining room:
Marie dear, aren't you sorry?
No answer. On repetition OF the
question. however, Marie replied, with
a sweet and patient dignity:
Mamma, please don't ask me any
more. I'll tell you when I'm sorry.
Ladies Home Journal.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15
THE BETHANY HIGH
SCHOOL REOPENED

The Bethany High School will open
the last Tuesday in September.
Rooms furnished with bedstead
mattress, dresser, washstand and
chairs. Board at cost.
Boys and girls prepared for college
classes.
Terms furnished on application.
Correspondence invited.
Rev. w. A. M. PLAXCO, A. B.,
Principal.
r. F. D. No. 4, Glover, 8. c.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15

Amenities of Movine.-"Yes, we are
going to move to escape house-clean-
ing"
And so are we. If 1 must confess
it myself, 1 think it will take the new
tenants two weeks to get rid of all
the rubbish we are leaving behind"
THE same here. Our house will
need a mop and soap from cellar to
roof. BY the way, where are you go
ing?"
mo Is L street"
What? Why, that is where we
are leaving"
We'll. 1 declare! Where are you
going?"
NO IL B street"
why, that's where we are leaving"
Great Scott"
"Whew!"-New York Mail
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15
The South's Pine Forests.

The Progressive Farmer, publishes
two short editorials, either or both of
which, should have careful attention
and consideration in this section of the
south. They mean a great deal more,
though. when considered together
than apart:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15

Something to Show.-''Do you mean
to tell me-" demanded Mr.. Sillicus,
angrily, that you actually ordered
$40 worth of groceries of a total
stranger, at prices less than any
wholesale dealer can buy them, and
paid for them in advance?"
Yes. that's what | said" replied
his better half.
And you hadn't sense enough to
see that it was a bare-faced swindle!
roared Sillicus. We'll. your moneys
gone now and you have nothing to
show for it,"
why, yes, l have, John" said his
wife, II have the mans receipt for
the money."-LippincOtt'
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15
The Preventive.-A we'll KIN

The Preventive.-A well known re-
vivalist whose work has been princi'
pally among the negroes Of a certain
section Of the south remembers one
service conducted by him that wa:
not entirely successful. He had hao
very poor attendance, and spent muct
time in questioning the negroes a:
TO their reason for not attending.
why were you not at our revival?'
he asked one old man, whom he en-
countered on the road.
"Oh, l dunno" said the backward
one.
Don't you ever pray" demanded
the preacher.
The old man shook his head. mo,
said he; II carries a rabbits foot. -
Lippincott's Magazine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15
Pat Scored.-An Irishman named

Pat Scored.-Ah ITIsNInaT TdIIIVu
Pat Carr was met by an Englishman
one day. who said to him:
Whats your name?"
Carr" said Pat.
We'll. we'll" said the Englishman;
"you're the first car | ever saw going
without an ass, so you're a great sight
to me-
"Begob," said Pat. you're not the
first ass ! saw going without car. so
you're no sight to me."-London
Globe.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-15

1T Is painful to see the way the pine
forests are being butchered and wasted
in Florida said an educator. who re-
Gently made a short trip through that
state. The lumbermen, as rule.
simply make a clean sweep wherever
they go-leaving no proper stand OF
trees on the land for future growth,
and forest fires, more often than not,
are allowed to kill the young growth
The land is also impoverished through
the destruction of humus that the pine
straw would furnish If allowed to rot
instead of being burned off,"
What is here reported of Florida is
true of far too many other sections of
the south. We can not too often en-
phasize the fact that the timber Is a
farm crop just as truly as corn or cot
ton, and should be as carefully looked
after. The Importance of keeping a
good stand is not more important in
one case than the other.
And with the growing scarcity of
lumber and the steady rise in its price,
the farmer should have as little mercy
on the man responsible for firing his
woods as he would have on man res
ponsble for firing his corn crib"
so much damage has lately been
done to southern forests by the pine
beetle, a bark-boring insect that the
United States department of agricul-
ture has established a field station at
Spartanburg, S. c., for special study of
the insect. Mr.. T. w. Turner is in
charge of the station and anyone whose
pine trees are dying should get in touch
with him at once. The loss from this
insect may be enormous if steps are
not taken to check its ravages, and it
is high time, anyway, for the people
of the south to begin taking care of
their timber. These often neglected
pine forests are one of our richest heri-
tages, but we have been fearfully
wasteful and careless with them. A
change i'm this respect can not come
TOO soon"
The Big Stone Gap post. [volume] (Big Stone Gap, Wise County, Va.) 1892-1928, 1911-01-04
LOCAL ITEMS.

G. w. Orr, of Jonesvillc, was
in town Saturday.
II. II. Fulton, of Wise, was
among the visiting lawyers in
town last week.
II. r. Casper, auditor for the
Stonega Coke e Coal Co, spent
Christmas with homefolks at
Norton.
FOUND-An IS. NJ. c. 'o9r
pin. Owner can have same by
calling at this Office.
Messrs. II. H. and Bert Nc
Clanahan, of Grundy, spent the
Christmas holidays with friends
in town.
w. G. Coults is cleaning out
his heating stoves at actual
cost
Miss Allie Bounds and II. II.
McClanahan visited friends at
Dryden on Monday of last week.
William Talley and sister,
Miss Elizabeth, or Jonesvillc,
spent few days last week in
town, the guests of Mr.. and
Mrs. w. Il. Hudgens.
II. S. Carnes. of Lee county
visited his brother, w. II.
Carnes, at this place, last week.
Carr II. Butcher, assistant
purchasing agent for the Sto.
mega Coke Il Coal Co, visited
homefolks, near Knoxville, dur
ing the holidays.
G. l.. Nash, auditor of the
Interstate Railroad, and wife,
visited relatives in st. Louis
during the holidays.
Mrs. Cary Dougherty, former
ly of this place, is very low with
complication of diseases,
at her home in Roda. Mrs. l..
r. Perry is with her daughter.
Is. f. Smith has moved his
family from East Big Stone
Gap into the Hodge property, on
Jerome Street.
Misses Bessie and lula
Wygal, of Dryden, spent a few
days in town last week, visit
ing their uncle, DR.. D. F. Orr,
and family.
D. G. Sloan, prominent
merchant of Gate City, was a
visitor to the Gap one day last
week.
Attorney j. G. Noel, of Pen
nington Gap. was in town last
Saturday on professional bust
ness.
Thomas Walker, popular
salesman of Knoxville, was
among the travelling men in
town. last week.
Miss II. Orlena Hiilman, of
Toms Creek, was the guest of
the Misses Orr, at this place. a
few days last week.
w. II. Polly and w. w.
Buckley spent a few days last
week hunting in Scott county.
The Big Stone Gap post. [volume] (Big Stone Gap, Wise County, Va.) 1892-1928, 1911-01-04
ANNOUNCEMENT.

To the Voters Of Wise County:
am candidate for Treasurer Of Wise
County, Mt the election 1911. subject
however, to the wishes of the Republican
party Very respectfully,
r w. uOLIEN
The Big Stone Gap post. [volume] (Big Stone Gap, Wise County, Va.) 1892-1928, 1911-01-04

| MIS-. JOuu w. CnalRley ana
sister, Mrs. r. e. Taggart, of
Keokee, spent Wednesday in
Bristol shopping.
Mrs. George Myers md little
daughter, Melissa, went up to
Blue Spring "Wednesday to
spend few days with Mrs.
Myers mother and brother.
Albert Dixon, of this place,
and Miss Rosa Skeen were
united in marriage at the home
of the BRIDES parents, at Cas-
tlewood, on December 2l, Rev.
j. NJ. Stewart, of this place,
officiating.
Charlie Bum, as handsome
and debonair as ever, returned
home for the holidays. Charlie
has been holding down lucra-
tive position with Bum & Co.,
at their operations in North
Carolina.
Miss Grace Adams, of Sto.
mega, was the attractive guest
of Mrs. w. T. Alsover during
the holidays.
Mr.. and Mrs. Il Il. Irvine
spent Christmas with relatives
in Richmond.
j r. Hendricks and family
returned Saturday from Wise.
where they spent the holidays
with relatives.
DIR. Karl Stoehr and II. d.
Morrison spent Thursday, Fri
day and Saturday ut Appa-
lachia, taking an inventory of
the lntermont Drug Co.'S stock
of drugs at that place.
Miss Courtney Williams, of
Blackstone, spent Christmas
with Miss Janette Bailey. Miss
Janettc's school. near Esser-
vile, closed a few days before
Christmas. She will return To
the State Normal, at Harrison
burg, in March.
Mrs. John Fox, Jr., left Sun
day OH her private car for ST.
Lo lis, where she played in the
Mikndo Monday night and the
succeeding week She was nc
companied by Mr.. Fox. Mrs.
Fox will begin rehearsing for a
new play early i'll February.
Among the younger set who
returned home for a mental rest
from burning the midnight oil
and enjoyed Christmas with
homefolks in the Gap, were
Nivien Mouscr, Eugene Brown,
Josh Bullitt, Hatcher Willis
and Il q Craft.
The big doll aud saw mill
given by The manager of the
Amuzu Theatre on Christmas
eve to the girl and boy holding
the lucky numbers were won by
Bertha and Lloyd Mahairy,
daughter and son of Mr.. and
Mrs. Charles MahaTy. Number
333 got the don and number SOB
the saw mill.
Twenty eight years ago today
Rev. j. b. Craft, the popular
pastor of the Baptist Church at
this place, preached his first
sermon. 30, tonight, in com
memoration of that occasion, at
the prayer service at his
Church, he will preach a short
sermon, using the same text
that he used for his first sermon
twenty eight years ago. Mr..
Craft is most excellent preach
er, and much liked by the peo-
pie of the Gap.
The Virginia * Southwestern
Railway had two rather serious
accidents on Christmas eve.
Two engines collidrd in the
Appalachian yards, doing small
damage. Nobody was injured.
On the same day there was IL
headon collision b e t W e II
freight engines near Gate City.
The enginemen jumped and
escaped serious injury.
Rev. j. b. Craft has decided
not to move to the Prescott
cottage on Poplar Hill, but will
remain in the fiat above Null
Inns store until the Baptist
parsonage is built in the near
| future. Mr.. and Mrs. r.. G..
The Big Stone Gap post. [volume] (Big Stone Gap, Wise County, Va.) 1892-1928, 1911-01-04

actual cost " q Coutts
j. l. Hurt, of Abingdon, was
lac, ,vaol, ~ Wv N"p nv We
o. j. Buckley and family, of
Rye Cove, spent Christmas with
'o''''So' III '"e zap
Mrs. Mary Killinger and Mrs.
O. T.. Smith, of Corbin, KY,
were visitors to the Gap on
i'' u '"'' ~
Mr.. and Mrs. Il. C., Taylor
spent Christmas with relatives
Robert H. Bruce, who is con
nected with the Lexington and
Eastern Railroad in Kentucky,
fpll,s IN ia Gan ~"
Mrs. Robert II. Bruce has
returned to the Gap from Wash
lngton City, where she spent
several weeks with relatives
and friends.
Miss Ste,lo Had who is ot-
tanJ;na school i'm Wasbiroton
civ sn,.nt tha hol;davs with
bomnfnlls Mt His nlocn
Mrs Il u Snitzor ana littlo
son ia snent Tia holidnvs with
Mrs Snitynr,s mothar Mrs
Maggie Stoilnrd' at this place.
Rev J. r. Craft was suffering
last week from nm old run shoi
in his foot.
Ali nt Gnrh ~, XIV Ku ''',, we ' ,ho
gnes,s of Az ana Wrs Cirnc,yatt
Il Itarnhlan
Mr. ana MIS- ~ !; roS, oil
on'caGo'wno Sprh' tne ho',utyS
VIII , MI roX ; parents at Ih.s
Placc' 'ei' SUNDAY ior 'he'r
''o'i'c'
jill. Wells. of Youell, XIV.
sPun' lht weck eno WIN nome
'o'AS AZ ''''s P'ace'
John Gilly, Billy Mathews.
jerome and Robert Wells spent
the week end camping in IA
cabin on Stone Mountain, hunt
ing and trapping.