The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-17

NICE in the dim dead Days be-
 ssss as's ss;,,s ss's5. ,ss, any ..3s ss' ,o3, ,9 down a Lid, there lived blue-eyed Gazook named Steve.
 We refer to the juicy Period pre- reding the Uplift, when Gov. Hughes was still in Prep School and the Candidate wearing te largest collar was the Peoples Choice for Alder man.
 The State Senator with a noble Con stituency of Guineas, Wops and Hun walks usually conducted a Wood Al cohol Emporium, with a Hop Joint below, a Honkatonk in the rear and A Crap Game upstairs. A Cop stood outside to beat up any one who made a Beller.
 A Good Citizen wishing to open a Murder Parlor needed couple of Black Bottles, a Barrel of Sawdust and Pull at the City Hall.
 When he opened up, he threw the Key in the River and arranged to have the Bodies taken out through the AL ley so as not to impede Traffic in the Main Thoroughfares. All of which came under the Head of Personal Liberty.
 Twelve months every Year marked the Open Season for every Game from Pitch -and-Toss to Manslaughter.
 Getting down a Bet on the Ponies was attended with the same Difficulty that would now be experienced in pur- chasing a Red-Hot at Coney Island, but it did not take as long, because there was no Mustard to be applied.
 Any one in search of Diversion could roll Kelly Pool at 10 Gents a Cue in the Morning, go to the Track in the After noon, take in a 20-round Scrap in the Evening and then Shoot at the Wheel a few times before backing into the Flax.
 The Police were instructed to make sure thar all Push-Cart Peddlers were properly Licensed.
 Steve roamed the Wide-open Town and spread his Bets both ways from the Jack.
 When he cut the String and began to back his Judgment he knew no Limit ex- cept the Milky Way. Any time he rolled them, you could hear some Rumble.
 Ali the Bookies, Barkeeps, Cruisers and the Boys sitting on the Moonlight Rat tiers knew him by his First Name and had him tagged as 8 Producer and a Helva Nice Fellow.
 Steve heard vague Rumors that certain Stiffs who hurried home before Midnight and wore White Mufflers were trying to put the Town on the Fritz and Can all the Live Ones but he did not dream that Mug who went around in Goloshes and drank Root Beer could put anything across with the Main Swivel over at the Hall.
 O, the Rude Awakening.
 One day he was in Pool Room work Ing on the Form Sheet with about 15O other students and getting ready to back Sszerack of the Boards in the Third at Gutenberg, when some Blue Wagons backed up and Steve told the Desk Ser egant a few Minutes later that his Name was Andrew Jackson.
 Next Day he had Wire from a Trainer but when he went to the old familiar Joint the Plain Clothes Men gave him the Sign to Beat it and he turned away, throbbing with Indignation.
 It was for this his Relatives had fought at Lexington and Lundy's Lane and Gettysburgl
 He felt that our vaunted Liberties were but Shadowy Pretenses, although he did not use this exact Language in expressing his Emotions. He said,
 Well. what do you Know about that?"
 The downtown Books were being raided but the Angoras kept on gal loping at the Track, so he rode out on the Train every day in order to