davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
PIFFLE.

APPLE green west and an orange har.
And the crystal eye Of lone. star.
And Child take the shears and cut what You
will.
Frost tonight-so clear and dead still
Edith NJ. Thomas in Harper's
Pea-grCen Tihie and grange bunk.
And the ragged rhyme Of mad drunk.
YUu must confess this apprUsches MSS Edith 5
eTse-but can't sell this
John u. Wells. in Buffalo News
Crushed pumpkin dawn and a lemon squeeze
Child lead your mother outdoors 10 freeze.
At stuff like this we CInld never fail
But we'd never dare offer this stuff for sale.
Judd Mortimer Lewis, in Houston Post
Alice-blue cheese and a plate Of tripe.
And fourteen Cinnamon hitting the riIe.
Verses like this make bOsum thrOb-
I hOIe Il won't cause to lnse my job.
Milwaukee Sentinel
Salmonhued vests and a pale blue tie,
Child keep your fingers out Of the Tio:
Christmas is near. n sell this girlie.
You can do some of your shopping early.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR.
By FRED c. KELLY.

lous land OF Whereabouts Unknown, ak
ing the fee with him. The client had
felt that 1t was cheaper to give up his
residence and position in the community
than to give up his COW and ;he red calf
And" says Littleton, Il maintain that
II that COW and calf belonged to me
then. now own all their progeny. heirs,
and assigns, and for all I know there
may be hundreds of milch and other
cows that rightfully belong to me-"
Yes agreed one of Littleton's mess
mates, unless the man sold them to a
butcher who interrupted the line of de-
scent"
One never can tell. You meet a person
that seems clean cut, high principled. and
affable. but he may have a skeleton tuck
ed away in his closet. Take the case, for
example. of Census Director Durand.
Years ago. when Durand was attending
college. he wrote and delivered an origi-
nal oration all in Greek. Durand is also
an enthusiastic golfer.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
CURIOUS BITS OF HISTORY.
By A. w. MACY.
NONE BUT BRASS BUTTONS
LEGAL.

NONE BUT BRASS BUTTONS
LEGAL.
A curious law was enacted by
the English Parliament during the
reign of William III. making it
illegal for a tailor to manufac-
ture or for an Englishman to
wear clothes with any other
kind of buttons than brass. This
law was enacted at the behest
and for the benefit of the brass
button manufacturers of Bir-
mingham. 1t was re-enacted dur
ing the reign of Queen Anne. and
again during that of George l. 1t
provided that whoever should
make or sell garments with any
but brass buttons should pay a
fine Of forty Shillings for every
dozen buttons manufactured or
worn that were not made of
brass. At comparatively recent
date a test case was brought into
court and man tried for vio-
Iating the law. Strange to say, it
was upheld. Notwithstanding that
the judge, jurymen. and attorneys
were all wearing buttons not
made of brass.
Ccpyright. lGlI. by Joseph b. Bowlcs.l
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
ENGLAND TO RUN RAILROADS.
British VI. r., Here on Visit,
Ventures Prophecy.

From the Atlanta GieorGicm
Il am not given to prophesying, but l
sincerely believe the railroads of Great
Britain will be owned and operated by
the government inside the next ten
years" says George II. Roberts. fraternal
delegate from the British Trades Union
Congress to the American Federation Of
Labor congress.
Il am a member Of a commission from
my political party which has been work
ing under government instruction gather
ing data to be presented to the House of
Commons which has IS its end the prac-
ticability OF the idea. We have found
that the government can take over the
railroads, bond them as public debt, in
crease the efficiency % per cent, increase
the pay of employees 20 per cent. and re-
ducr freight and passenger rates 20 per
cent. and within a reasonable length OF
time pay off the debt with the gains of
the systems. This is not a scheme. as
YOU might imagine. but is seriously con-
templated by the old country. and this
data is gathered with the serious purpose
in view of putting 1t into execution.
of course, continued Mr.. Roberts.
this appears StupendOuS 10 the average
American. who is doubtless accustomed
to thinking Of all countries and all rail-
way systems as being as stupendous as
those of America. but we have only four
big systems and all four OF them will
hardly reach the magnitude of one of
yours over here. The idea is extremely
practical. as we have found, and is not
hedged about by the many problems YOU
have to contend with over here. And
repeat it is extremely likely of fulfill
ment.
Mr.. Roberts is a member of Parliament
and is an organizer for the English Ty-
C,pia+y-
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
The Brooklyn Dry Dock.

From the Boston Transcript.
Arrangements have been made to Let
the waters of the East River into the
new and mammoth dry dock at the
Brooklyn Navy Yard next week, and it
is expected that early in the new year
it will be ready for the reception Of a
battle ship. 1t is the largest basin. ma
val or commercial. on the Atlantic coast.
and for a plant OF its size and impor-
tance it has given the government as
much embarrassment as the Culebra
Cut. 1t was authorized by Congress
eleven years ago. and since then sue
Cessive contractors have been battling
with the Quicksands. Three builders
have retired from the enterprise with
great financial loss. but 1t is believed
that the treacherous forces are now un-
der control. 1t may not be intrinsically
worth all that it has cost. but some new
problems in engineering have been pre-
sented and solved. and the experience
may be OF value in future undertakings.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

OF course, too much 10 expect
estimate, which tic District
,;oncr, have submitted to Con-
i'll be enacted INTO law The
Appropriations committees will, as usual,
reduce and rcjcc; many items. This is
their prc-ogativc, and, unfortunately, it
will be fully exercised
80 me who i, familiar with the
needs Of the District can deny that every
cent which the Commissioners have
asked ought to hr granted The amount.
as required by law, ], within the cs-
tiuateI re,cnuc~ for the next fiscal
year. 80 that even if it should be ap-
pr"prlrtcd IL an entirety. It would not
add 80 ;hc District, debt The most
,a-vaI cNamima,iuH "i the budget will
a;,o demonstrate that the Commits
>iuncr> haze exercised wise conscrya-
,l>m IN selecting its details. They have
not ,uagc~rcd any expenditure except
-:rrh a. will result in material Lcncti;
to The city.
II : sincerely he hoped tia, Con-
grc>s will appreciate the wisdom OF
auth rizIug all in,cstigation INTO the
feasibility Of acquiring the water power
AT Great Fall~ 1t j. reflection upon
the business sense ui this community
that there is no utilization Of the energy
which i, continuously wasted at that
point There j. every reason. also. why
the additional school buildings which
have been asked should he provided.
while The cxtcn>iou Of the parking syS-
.cm demands serious consideration.
Every day delay in the acquisition cf
desirable "rcm-ajr space rnIy adds to
.hc co>t which will be cutajlcd upon the
District, I; j. gratifying to note. in thi,
,"nncctinn, that the Commissioners have
1ot confined their recommendations t.
Iho uor,hUc>t section, The northeast
1l> been remembered with the Suggc>-
ti"n ,hat the Noun. Hamilton tract he
purchased II Cuugrc~, j. nn; inclined
To- grant all "i ,l, requests. the new
reservation, whtrh are allowed >h ,uId
&c in portion. oi the city remote from
Inc Rock Creek and the Geological
parks, in order /" provide an equality
consideration far every ~cctiou
Increased approximations are very
roprry asked 'or the schools. the po-
ice and fire dcourrmcu.s. tnc public
rbrar, although III thi> case the ad-
.Iti"nai sum +, entirely too ~mall-thc
co!i,tructiuu aud repair oi bridges. and
street impr 1ymcm> The cost Of play
grounds Ought certainly to he placed
un"u the lrIi-and-hJ1f basis. We i'm
oginc, hovcycr. that careful inyc>jiga-
riou will prcccdc the appropriation Of
funds for the propositions OF municipal
ownership which the commissioners
rccommc2d, notably the installation of
asphalt and @a,bagr reduction plaut>
While uuncrou~ increases OF sallry,
ior >rbordrnatr~ arc asked. tho TACT is
that these arc among the most deserving
items in the budget, The District gov
crnmcnt i, fortunate in having a force
of honest and capable employees whose
compensation l. di>proporti6natc to the
efficient service which they render.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
PerSin's Sad Predicamcnt.

Frum the PhiadelphiA Record.
Persia, in the language of Patrick
Henry, is demanding liberty or death.
Unfortunately she is helpless in the
presence Of Russ:a, and there is no in
G'ration that any leading nation cares
enough about her to defy Russia Persia
can probably maintain a. nominal inde-
pendence II she will allow the Russian
Minister TO govern her in fact. Beyond
that there seems 10 be nothing for the
successor OF the empire Of Cyrus and
XerXes
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

antine measures must be employed
wherever it is known to be present
People should avoid, if possible, any
contact with persons known to have
been at the bedside of diphtheria pa
tient or any place where contagion has
existed.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
A LITTLE NONSENSE
CHRISTMAS on WASH DAY.

When Christmas comes on Monday
1t happens Well. indeed.
Then Santa Claus need hardly pause
Or slacken in his speed.
When Christmas comes on Monday
For Santa things are fine.
AS all the hose in neatCst rows
Are hanging on the line.
When Christmas comes on Monday,
With stockings out to dry.
Then Santa Claus. amid applause,
Can NIL 'em on the flN
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
Uncle Walt Says To-day:

see the avators sail oerhead like birds they ride the gale
And when they the earth descend posies without
end, and | embrace them till they hurt,
UTITAR1AN1SM and whoop and veil and my shirt But
when my fervor dies away, | lean against
myself and The who weey place doing more
to help the the worker makes the planet snelI go and
whoop for him while the wresers, 1.-THE and strong,
struggles fierce and long; marvel their mighty thews
and shrek wild coadoodeooS when climbs ano'er frame
and breaks his neck and the But when the wrestling
match oer and toddlng my door mue to myself at
length: 1T a fearful strength! The vim those ath
etes threw would bal lred tons OF hay Tomorrow
| shall go veil for who has dug we'll! The men
who work with picks deserving of appauser'
Copyright 1911 by Geou. A,u- WALT Mason.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
WHO OWNS THIS DOG?
He Was Lost While freeing a
'Psssum in Virginia Mountains.

Editor The Washington Herald:
l have a hound in my possession which
answers the following description:
Four white feet, white tip on tail
black back. white ring around neck,
light belly. and brand in forehead.
This dog is. | understand. owned by
some Washington men. It was lost
while freeing a possum between Happy
Creek and Front Royal. in the noun
tains of Virginia. 1t got into the pos
session of three men. from whom 1
bought it in trade. 1 am keeping 1t in
the hope of hearing from it's owner.
COOPER BAILEY.
Marshall, Va, Dec. >
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
Underpaid School.teachers.

The annual report Of the New Jcr-
sey State commissioner OF education
gives some interesting statistics in con-
ucction with the States public schools.
Perhaps the most significant of his fig
urcs are those showing material in
'rease in the average salary paid to the
rs This is in accordance with
g.: .... 'ncy displayed all over this
ing late years TO make the
teaching more remuncra-
Tan d month since the
New York City won
Eht for equal pay
81. from different
indicate that
~ &c American
~ but surely
the fact
... in this
..t.,g ...... 10. .. COM
.u ,a"s .-,-. the
Nu-s -. .s Nli-
SECURE . .. 4
\~H ta~sa-
s'c srrEgs
sEefs Dunn ..
eskiy eve.
pave b.. q
81 40 r..s a..-
wze7
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
Does 1t with IA snnp.

From the Boston Transcript.
'Peck's wife walks all over him. He's
what you might call telescope husband"
What do you mean?"
She draws him out. sees through him,
and shuts him up
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
COnsiderate.
From PuCa.

from PuCn.
"Why do you argue with you wife,
asked the bachelor. Don't you know
the futiity of it?"
"Of COURSE" replied the married man,
but have TO allow her little pleasure
once in a while"
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
Playing Safe.

"Why do you locate all your stories
in mythical Countries?'
so that nobody can call me down on
geography. or say that my dialect isn't
the real thing"
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
Some Deer shot.

TIL" hunting season now and then
Evolves statistics queer:
The total now is twenty men
And twenty-scven deer
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
Moving stock.

'What shall We do with this job lot
of odds and ends
pile I'm near the door and mark en-
10 cents a grab, Every family buys a
Christmas present for father"
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

The girls who are seeking admission
to the French military college probably
wish to train themselves to be militant
suffragettes
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

II is natural that those who propose to
mount the wagon on the first of the year
should view with alarm the proposed In
crease in the price OF water.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

A doUble-barrcled telescope has heen
invented in Switzerland. but most people
WHO wish to see double will continue
to use another kind of glass.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

4 number of country boys have taken
prizes raising corn. Those who raise
Cain are not generally prize winners.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

The London Chronicle says the hat tax
went out of vogue in Queen Elizabeths
time, but all the husbands and fathers
know better.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
Too Much mt stake.

'Would YOU like to go back and live
your life ovor?'
when I've Just learned to play bridge?
should say not"
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

The Japanese women who dive for
pearls just ought to see their American
sisters jump at diamonds
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
Ihc Dead Pnst.

How is it never hear you speak OF
your old college days."
well, the college went to didn't
have a very good football team"
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

The labor leaders do not share Col
Roosey olt's aversion to the reputation OF
having been bamboozled.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

The football casualties this year are
being somewhat obscured by the regular
murder cases
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
w ny Not:

into
'What"'
Training a christmas tree to sprout
its own presents"
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

As we understand an editorial in the
Richmond Times-Dispatch. the Germans
live longer than people of other nation
alities because they are more deliberate
about diving.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
Uncle Pennywise Says:

I spose this peace movement is all
right. but YOU can't convince a boy that
n" wants book on disarmament instead
Of a toy gun.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

The girls who are seeking admission
to the French military college probably
wish to train themselves to be militant
sufrragettes.
The London Chronicle says the hat tax
went out of vogue in Queen Elizabeth S
time, but all the husbands and fathers
know better.
The Japanese women who dive for
pearls just ought to see their American
sisters jump at diamonds.
The football casualties this year are
being somewhat obscured by the regular
murder cases.
AS we understand an editorial in the
Richmond Dispatch, the Germans
live longer than people of other nation
alities because they are more deliberate
about dying.
Perhaps the McNamaras thought they
might as well go to the penitentiary at
once as spend the rest of their lives in
court.
The McNamaras' confessions seem to
have causs6 a number of explosions in
certain quarters.
The government will soon issue thirteen
new styles of stamps. No doubt some of
those who use them will be unlucky.
That government empIoye who wishes
his salary reduced is not in danger of
having many initatOrs
Victor Berger will certainly attain i'm
mortality if he can live TO see all of his
bills enacted.
Mr.. Bryan does not propose that any
number of defeats shall prevent his send
ing messages to Congress-
After the 1st of January about the only
thing Washington will envy New York
will be her free transfer system
\ good mnay divorces would be pre-
wives as much money as they could hope
to collect in the way of alimony.
With two messages completed and a
third in preparation, the President is
making Il ldlIlN SOOd start 10 capture MS
predecessors record.
Once more the Senate committee will
hear how Senator Lorimer was deceived
into thinking that all of his friends were
inpoccnt.
\ lawsuit begun in Leipzig in 15I1 has
jus: been concluded. Perhaps this is
the one Hamlet had in mind when he
of the laws delays.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

Perhaps the McNamaras thought they
might as well go to the penitentiary at
once as spend the rest of their lives in
Z COurt
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

The McNamaras confessions seem to
have causS6 a number of explosions in
certain quarters.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

The government will soon issue thirteen
new styles of stamps. No doubt some of
those who use them will be unlUcky.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

That government employe who wishes
his salary reduced is not in danger of
having many imitators
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05
The District Budget.

uf course, too much TO expect
estimates which the District
,;oner> have submitted to Con-
III l., o.,.,,..o,l ,,,, 1~,,. The
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

Victor Berger will certainly attain i'm
mortality if he can live TO see all of his
bills enacted.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-05

Mr.. Bryan does not propose that any
number of defeats shall prevent his send
ing messages to Congress-
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1911-11-25
Jain goes . Visitin'

Thur sdsy, Nov. 18th q school Of in
stTuetion for the ROYAL Neighbors was
held at Waldo. On invitation Of Dis.
dept. Jain a delegation of Hays Jain
went over in sutos reaching there at
10 and received q royal welcome.
Then over to the hall where another
warm welcome by State Supervising
Deputy Bement aud the other visiting
camps.
Then Mrs. Jain welcomed all. giving
baby Jain q special notice for coming
SO far. Waldo Camp welcomed ali
the visitors, and Mrs. Bement respon-
ded in happy address.
Then came a luncheon the Waldo
camp can be proud Of showing good
cooks over there.
The afternoon was the interesting
degree work, Mrs. Bement answering
the Question Box in pleasing wav.
Then another feaet at the hotel ana
the guests left. for their homes, well
repaid Tor their trim.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1911-11-25
THE new INSANE ASYLUM
To BE At LARNED

After hard scramble between 16
W. stArr Kansas towns: TO secure tn
location ir fhnir town 1t narrowed IN
F1lsw- nth ard Wakeenev on this road.
Crea' Rerd and Larned on the Santa
Fo. In fire final TEST the State Archi-
+fct were tsFen along as to feasabiiifv
of building site, the State Uuiversitv
expa-ts on water tests, that being the
t-OST Important Of all for life State
Institution.
Wateeney showed Up better than
Ellsworth. Great Bend made the hest
offer hut Larred scored the most points
with the Board and experts, the big
questions of water, drainage, location
freight rates, climate. fertility Of soil,
price o. lard offered and its elevation
ard other questions and Larned won.
It will be located on a hill mile
west Of town. Pawnee creek runs
thro' the 800 acres to be. purchased by
the state This is to be the cottage
system and b built on the hillside ov-
erlo0kin9 the ArkansaW valley.
Larned IL so miles south and little
east Of Hays IN the noted Pawnee Co.,
an the Arkansas river. on the main
lins Of the Santa Fe railroad, the end
of the No. Pac. RR. running to south
cast Kansas. and in a grand farming
county. They have our hearty congrat
ula tons
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1911-11-25
Chief Executive Has Eaten ThanksgiV-
ing Dinner in the Philippines.

scent. He was told that it was cooked
by man who had come from Aus
tria within three months and that he
had never cooked turkey before in
his life. This story is told in Wash
ington as an example of the adapta-
biIity of foreigners to Americas ways,
even to the ways Of the kitchen.
There are comparatively few sena-
tors and representatives in Washing
ton, although the opening Of congress
is but a few days in the future. The
home instinct is strong at Thanksgiv-
ing time and 1t keeps most Of the ma
tional legislators away from the capi.
tai at this early holiday season. The
New England states are represented
in the departments Of Washington in
the ranks Of the clerks just as numer-
ously as other states are represented.
New Englanders always go home to
spend Thanksgiving day, if they have
the money, and if father and mother,
or either, or brothers and sisters are
living in the old homestead to pre-
pare the old Thanksgiving day dinner
and to welcome the wanderer.
Presidential Game of Golf.
President Taft likes his holiday
game Of golf. and his Thanksgiving
day appetite is whetted by journey
over the links in company with Secre-
tary of State Knox, Brigadier General
Clarence r. Edwards, or some other
official golfer of renown. From the
golf links the president, if he looks
far off across the Potomac, can get an
occasional glimpse Of the relocated
fox-following members of one of the
great Potomac hunting clubs. Thanks
giving day in Washington is marked
hunting season in Virginia, which lies
just over the river.
The old-time Virginians still follow
the fox, and the ranks OF the natives
have been augmented in recent years
by northerners who have come south
to make their winter homes. Along
the Potomac westward and a little
northward from Washington a good
many great houses" are in process OF
erection. They lack the age and dis.
tinction OF the old-time residences OF
Virginia and it may be that the native
born ones resent somewhat this In
trusion Of the wealth OF the north.
wealth accompanied as It is frequent,
" by an ostentataion that is NOTHING
short Of vulgar. The new rich ele-
ment, however, which Is erecting
homes in Virginia, Is confning itself
largely TO the section Of the Old Do
minion near the capital and there Il
does not intrude to any considerable
extent upon the time-honored reign
OF the old families who have lived In
tte state themselves and through
their ancestry for hundreds q years.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1911-11-25
TheYHre Sill Hunffnd.

4 E&T fire SEEEA kFUHEIHGs
The New York Attornies of the Will
liam Dalton estate were never satisfied
that the New York man who csuee ont
here and got the r sidue of the estate
was tie son of William DaIton's sister
Auastatia. and through the Catholic
church of which the Dalton famiIv at
Bingham'on were devote members.
have kept up the search
They foun5 the church record. OF tn
death and the burial place Of D 4Iton'=
father. ster-nother and the haif broth
er Patrick. who died WREN z years old.
They fond the hslf-sis ter. Csthsrine,
married and living in northern Nav
York with her family But she was
not mentioned in the will 40 not AZ
heir. but that Anastasia left home
whe Ca,harit was child and NAV
b W gons back o Ireland ard search is
Being maze the thro' the church
The ngme DALTON and the name
Aasetssia an coBmo7 in that part
of IreIarf, e. the e-hurch re- ord ziso
shows mary chilsr= chris'i@n d A-a-
stasia, ge1sfsHg ciliet AM
This moatH 'hev found aoo'her Anns
D lton Murphy, Y wears old, horn in
Deenemanah, IreIand. Came to Amer
'Eher II v"ars I'D But her father was
P~tries Da'tan and hey located at st.
John, New Bsuosvich. and later to
Boston, ara wen hack re Ireland
81 he faft e-'s name and ioca ioa zoo
sh e. -iIe VS. IF a-Other Tamil>