The Washington bee., 1911-12-09
Public Men And Thinps
(By the Sage of the Potomac.)

company because the directors cut
his salary from 100000 TO $4,000. it
dawned within my inauguration dome
that here was a chance for a colored
man to get the job, because these
small jobs that a white man doesn't
want can some times be had for a
dark complexioned masculine gender
The first man | thought of was Prof.
Kelly Miller, and after dropping
nlckle in Board & McGuire's phone
slot, | got the professor on the phone
Want $4,000 Job" | question
marked him, What to do" he ques-
ton marked ME right back in a So
fictitious tone of voice. "Oh just to
superintend gas meters for the gas
company / signalled back. Il will
have to study over it" he replied,
for Prexy ThirkieId has recon-
mended, in his report. that our sal
aries up here on the hill be increased,
although we don't need it, and | bet
ter wait and see what he puts me
down for" will he recommend
more than $4,000 for you" I quiried
him Yes he said, IF he recon-
mends a million for himself" well.
how about the other deans, professors
and nOndesCripts around the institu-
ton. would they consider the $4,000
gas job" | quizzed. Il hardly think
they would" the Professor replied.
you see the deans, professor and
nondescripts up here all receive. mum
ihcent salaries. You ought to know
that by the way they live. You have
observed all of them riding afout the
city in French-made touring cars, and
the reports about their wives having
their gowns made by Worth in Paris
for the winters social affairs is all
true, except as to the ordering and
payment for them. Just because some
of us are living on frugal scale, don't
get the idea that our salaries are very
much lower than coal beavers | don't
think you could get a man up here
who would accept a $4,000 job. Why
we live like kings up here, and every
month we just have to hire some one
to suggest means for taking the sur
plus left from our salaries each month
after we have entertained the diplo-
matte set Mebbe Judge Terrell will
take it
I immediately got in touch with
the Judge. "Say, Judge | sighed
through the phone, would you con-
slider a $4,000 job as president of the
Gas Company" "Will it take me off
the bench" the Judge questioned.
eyes I rather think it would" well
then" snorted the Judge, pass it
along TO some other fellow who needs
it. / would not leave the bench for
a million a year You see | am the
only judge with a polished dome, and
proxide firing above the lobe of the
ears that associates with. Negroes on
an equality, and it would never do for
me to resign. Besides I would not
know what to do with $4,000 year.
You see I have never had any difficult
ty about getting credit, and as long
as a mans credit IS unlimited 1t does
not matter whether he gets 5000 or
10000 a year Have you asked Billy
Lewis to take it?" | replied had not
well then phone him right away. for
Lewis is just chucked full of ambi-
ton, and he'll take anything, pending
his appointment. by Napier, to the
Supreme Court" | got Lewis on the
phone, and put the question square
up to him; told him | was authorized
bv General Assumption to tender him
the position made vacant by Mclean,
and that the salary would be $4,000
every year rs the salary payable in
advance. Lewis asked with a prompt
ness that startled. Hardly | re-
piled Then don't consider me- he
said. I'm jimmying my way to the
Supreme Court by the Indian claim
route now. and aint got much time
to squander on little $4,000 jobs some
white man has given up. Now if you
have authority to tender me, for i'm
mediate delivery. place on the Su-
preme Court, or as u. S. Senator, you
needn't go any further, for I'm yours
to command"
The next man | approached was
John Dancy. When ! asked him if
he would take it, Dancy said: Take
it? Why man | would take thirty
cent job, providing it don't require me
to spend any time in the office You
see the state of my health and appe-
tite is such that | can't remain III an
office but a few moments" / told
him that Prof Miller had refused it;
that Judge Terrell would not accept
it, and that Lewis had no hankering
for it. well those fellows are all
puffed up. | was puffed up too a few
months ago. prior to Link johnson
coming to the city but his coming
took the starch out Just as soon as
7 sell out this blooming Lincoln Mem
orial Building Company, and divide |
with Galloway the surplus, ! will be
right down to rattle around III the
chair John Mclean has been warming
at 100000 per And you can tell them
that | don't mind d little cut like
SEQ. 1000, why they can cut it to 1000
per year and | will save money out of |
it. | was Recorder of Deeds eight /
years at $4,000 per year, and / saved
So, 500 every year | was on the salary |
roll. As a saver I've got the Life
Saving bureau figuring on the cost
Of advertising for publicity notices. |
You can just notify me when to re-
port. and I'll be down without hesita- !
ton"
Referring to hesitation, I observed |
that there were a few loyal race men !
who hesitated so long that they didn't !
get to the Lewis banquet. OF course /
the loss was wholly theirs, for we
Didn't miss a single, silly soul. All !
but one of the Boston contigent failed
10 dig up the price Of ticket, thinking !