Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-01
MINUTES A MILLIONAIRE
Continued from page 8

"Pity look down on mel says he. isn't it
the sad case | am entirely?'
"There's nothing so bad, Sir" says the
head hunky, says he, bowin' and tryin' to
comfort him, @but it might be hundred
times worse. Here's tilligram," says he,
@from your son Tom, to say he's married a
showgirl."
"Me son Tom?" Brian shouts.
"Your son Tom, sure enough says the
f1unky. "He's wired from Philadelphy ask
in your blissin'."
"And there's policeman just come to the
door," says another funky, ITO report that
your daughters run away with the new
chauffeur"
Faith! The govt, bad as it was couldn' t
keep him from jumpin on his feet, and
chasin' his tail like crazy one round and
round the room, maxim scatteration on
everything and everybody come in his way,
tryin' to tear the hair that should be on his
head but wasn't, and cryin' out, "Kitty, me
heart, wantin' alimony to laive me! Tom
away with hoodlum! Ochone, ochone for
the happy days. forever gone, when we were
blissed with poverty!"
A RUCTION that rose in Fif'- ave. with
- out, that instant drew his attention,
and, dashin' to the window to find the cause,
10 and behold we, what did he witness, but
his old self, Brian O'Gaffeney, in his old suit
of laborin' clothes, mounted on the tail end
of wagon in front of the mansion, in the
middle of a mob of socialists and arnychists,
denouncin' all millioneers, and William D.
Munibagges first and foremost among them,
and enCouragin' The riotous mob to smash
into his house, and divide the wealth they'd
get there?
A roar went up that should rattle the
stars from that riotous mob the minute they
beheld him at the window. But, for fear
Brian O'Gaffeney would get away, he raised
his voice above the roar and yelled "A hun
bred thousand dollars to the arnychist who
holds that red headed chap on the tail end
of the wagon.till get into him; for he's me
by rights, and am not meself at ALL"
But that instant, seem an arnychist, who
looked as if he washed his face every Christ
mas, raisin' bomb to hurl at him, he
screeched like pooka, and turned tail to
run. He was too late, though; for the bomb
hit him polthogue behind that made him
bawl like a bull and bounce fifteen yards into
the air.
And whe, he Topped down, feelin' in his
soul that he was surely dead man, it dumb
foundhered him to hear a voice above him
swearin', ABad luck to we, We spris- sawn!
Sleepin' on the park grass ag in, and yellin'
like rfinocerosl By me faith, you'll foot it
to the court this time!"
And Brian, sittin' up with jerk, and
fndin' himself in his own shape sittin' on the
Fairy Knoll with Park Policeman McGurk
ragin' ABOVE him, and raisin' his foot to give
him another kick in the same place, went
near a most crazy with joy. And MeGurk
thought it was defyin' himself and the law
he was, when Brian from the bottom of his
heart said, "Any sentence we get me, short
O. hangin', II be joy eternal. Imprisonment
for life," says he, al be like holiday at
Coney!"
He could only find nineteen cents in his
pocket; but he Modified McGrrk with that.
~And," says he, II wish to Heaven it was
nineteen thousand! And in troth," says he,
@if you'd have come on the scene five min
utes sooner, could a given you that as aisy
as kiss me hand"
W/HEN Brian, as happy as hare in har-
w vest, reached his own snug little home,
he found ready for him meal that would
water the mouth of a dead man; for the
mate of Kitty as cook wasn't to be met
with in many mile. And Brian seated
Kitty to one side of him at the table, and
II IL L.