New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-11-12
A BOOST FOR THE BENOS
BY SEWELL FORD

arrout in a pool says BERTHE. Had it sunk 90 The
table and the guests caught their hsh-souEenir
fishing rods and all that. Rippin scheme, bah Joye!
Wish I'd thought of it first, yknow.
aWhv not have a duck pond then, suggests Mr.
Robert "and let your guests sho2t tnelr o" game a
ing the soup CORRESPONDENT shotguns, too;
But / say, Bob chimes in BERTHE eager, do you
tbnk- Oh come now. 1t couldn't be done. Don't
chaf, old man. This is serious, yknow. There a
monkey dinner; but that's been done and girl lu
pie Oh say, cawn't you tell me new one I'm
hoored absolutely hooredl' And with that Bcrte
groans like he was in real pain.
Sorry says Mr. Robert, "but haven't an idea
You might ask Torchy here though
RERTIE, he takes one glance at me, and then gives
- another groan. Don't be brute, Bob! says be-
"Why,' says Mr.. Robert, ~Iorchy IS our emergen,'
man. Isn't that so, orchy!
@Sure" saws l. GRIMM back idea expert and brain
reserve for the whole shop also iretin done Tor ussy
BERTHE boy amt in mood for bein' ioshed, though
There. there saws Mr.. Robert III hadn't
directors meeting on hand should see what could
do BERTHE. But you've heard Torchy describe himself
why not call his bluff
@AIy rates for dinner ideas are twenty throw
aTwenty!' says BERTHE I'D give fifty"
"Done!' says Mr.. Robert, and then he turns TO me-
"Now young man, there's a commission for you Come
around at ten in the morning, BERTHE, and Iorchy Will
tell YOU all about it. SO long, old chap, and don't
worry" and at that Mr. Robert huStleS into his private
office leavin me and BERTHE starin at each other with
orr mouths open. He was takin' it mighty serious
BERTHE was too which seems to me a lot ike gOin far
TO find trouble. But can be real cheenn when try
hard
~Whoops m dear says |.
"Eh?" SAYS BERTHE
"Ah don't YOU know the answer to that SAYS |.
"Sav I'm a daffodil' All Of which means Mr. Billings,
that you're to chrk up.
Il don't in the least understand says Berthe.
All right: deep coises then, says ]; but be sure
and sound the soft in scissors and when You cross
Madison Square don't get lost in the woods
Honest il was almost a shame TO waste good NliW
on nonresister like Berthe but had to pass ON some
thing TO paw for what Mr. Robert had handed me-
Then got to thnkin' it over and Wonderin d lt Was
all Josh Suppose could work up a scheme good enough
10 connect me with that fifty? Ever try eXerc,n your
mind on a fool problem like that; Well, It ain SUCH
a cinch as it seems and inside OF hour was almost
Svmpathizn' with BERTHE. Then comes Mr.. Robert, as
he leaves for the day, shown it at me once more
"Rcmcnber, SAYS he. that are relying on YOU 70
plan that dinner entertainment.
And knew Mr.. Robert. He thought he slipped
something humorous me this time, and he'd be
bringin' it I'D for a month after a where ID had
a chance and couldn't make good. But couldn't |; BY
cosin' time had the wheels goin round at high speed
and all could grind out batty notions that even
BERTHE would have been ashamed to own.
60 when it comes time for town the Brothers Beno
~ out to Friccasins | want feelin' as chesty as
usual They was waitin the corner, all right, and
a worse mated trio | never saw punched. The orglna.
Beno was as short and thick as Skimp Farrell was tall