davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01
MOST ANYTHING.

My barber is wondrous chap,
Though in mistaken ruts.
He's an artist, for his stories
He illustrates with cuts.
The first robin has already been
sighted, but have you piped a harem
skirt?
Seriously. now. what's the use of
being too serious?
Did it ever get you anything? Same
here.
Helen pink succeeds Alice blue.
Hetty Green is also on the job.
BY annexing IL more square miles
TO its territory, Gary, Ind. is now a
fifth as large as Chicago in area.
o, you spring.! We are holding up
two flngers-let's go swimmin'?
Maraschino is pronounced mara
skee-no, with the accents on the first
and third syllables.
London does not have so many fogs
now as IL did several years ago. I'm.
proved sanitary and smoke conditions
are given as the reason.
After coal-what? ?" hollers a head
line. Well, the bill isn't far behind
hereabouts.
A Seryian teacher has invented the
most successful system OF teaching
yet known. Each student is supplied
with an alphabet made OF chocolate
As soon as he can put his name to-
gether he is allowed TO eat IL. On an
average these pupils can read in three
days.
Eight years are required to bring
| the average cocoanut tree into bear
ing.
When more wives learn to be sweet
hearts again. there will be fewer clubs
and saloons.
Some men try new typewriters oc-
casionaily, and some typewriters try
men for breach of promise.
California furnishes about three
tourths of the quicksilver produced in
the United States.
We didn't know what to do with
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01
AZ the Dentists.

victim-to-be: Er-just a shave
please.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

Did it ever get you anything? San
here.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

Helen pink succeeds Alice blue.
Hetty Green Is also on the job
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

We didn't know what to do with
Piute Pete; he was a blamed good
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

California furnishes about three
tourths of the quicksilver produced Il
the United States.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

Ma ho~s His AGaem in
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

BY annexing IL more square miles
TO its territory. Gary, Ind. Is now q
fifth as large as Chicago in area.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01
addressing THE Baptist ministers

Addressing the Baptist ministers
Of Detroit, DR.. William Wilson, gen.
eral superintendent and resident ply
stefan Of the Florence Crittenton
Home in this city, declared:
slxty.five per cent Of the women In
the crittcnton home are domestic
servants and their stories all bear the
same facts--that. having no place IN
the house in which 20 entertain their
men friends, they are forced to meet
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

Done your Fourth of July shopping
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

o, you spring! We are holding UT
two flngers-let's go swimmin?
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01
OBSERVATIONS

s ss sr s.i.at.s ns TO get but y ss
Which /: SsnS to ss -n
lying life as think about his words we cannot cannot
SSms 70 US .aseans bearing upon
\ - It is cherished folk who are not
~ l aS ss q, sas
and ao y are % iSs
OF Course many They a are
and they s own % MANY who
after long weeks grue n Wort If
mental ss LOOK the sdd
] Sa $ s club one sasS Re
and they take the shortest cut ~
It's the Joy Of life that cannot md
dnkfor drink will avail to call up LOT
when were the JOY Of life thus
al had forgotten how play.
uv oSs % uan a an aaSy BOY our
$S liz ss sas AZ + .ss$ 3 S to is.
;::s: s ss & ss :s a; and moral
sa. sss s ss' likely act like bad one
very %Ss' a'as 'ss
wnssHsn's % is spiritual
s { run S seem " run ''s
b.DS ons % @ %ns na
bhs clipper things through
sleep when the chance sleep color
bodily and third S ss.
driven cruel and
relationship fatigue and
likely Judge people too hsrshiy
TO- are sa ts @
There weary
won't ever find MD rest Est tn death
only tired after stoo
@ ss be to % s %
a
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

bell OF fire engine, caused wom
with Of fre" and
audience mostly wome and children in a stampede
Justu n oman-e
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

our common life.
IL is a cherished bell
themselves inclined TO
that folk drink and m
they are inherently wi
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

She never knows enoue
lose her head at the sligi
sheeplike timidity lead he
to follow her to death?
Yes. Il does happen that
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

Maraschino is pronounced mara
skee-no, with the accents on the first
and third syllables.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

Some men try new typewriters oc
casionally, and some typewriters TT,
men for breach of promise.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

earth approach to realization OF the glory OF heaven
a
child artificial
Americans
permitted build Never ask humb
lace earth home
And
would destroy the homes the make gold for
Divine
homes
words;
We
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

London does not have so many fogs
now as II did several years ago. I'm
proved sanitary and smoke conditions
are given as the reason.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01
.wOMEN,s
FOOLISH
FEARS

In
crush them
under J
hnktw
inordinatey laugh
fears ID a
the the audience OF women and children
in bhndy
kicking all weaker out OF their
brought them back to their
IL the who though the
and all behind the aransns
spotghts in the balcony the entire the
the panic restored order
understanding
The Detroit times., 1911-03-01

Go hang. old Winter. and having
hanged
Stay hung.
Come. gentle Spring. and having
springed
Stay sprung.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
MICHAEL DoERINo DEAD.
Old Calumet Pioneer Passes Away Az
ter a Lengthy Illness.

Old Calumet Pioneer Passes Away Az
ter a Lengthy illness.
one Of the Oldest pioneers of Calu-
met passed away last night in the per-
son of Michael Doering, death taking
place at the family residence. 2223
Middle street Raymhaultown, after a
lengthy Illness. A paralytic stroke
was the cause of death The decedent
was aged 20. having been born at Hes
sencastle, Germany. July 4, 1886.
He is survived by his widow and the
following children: Albert, of Cobalt,
ont, Mrs. Kate Richardson, of Tamar-
lack Mills; Mrs. Emma Olson. Great
Fails. Mont: Mrs Tlle Lewis. of Mil
waukee, who was at the bedside of her
father when he passed away; and Pc
ter, George and William, residing at
home.
The late Mr. Doering was one Of the
best known German residents of this
section, coming to Calumet in 1854. and
the news that he has passed away will
be received with general regret. He
was member of the Calumet Congre-
gational church, and also charter
member of the Calumet lodge of odd
Fellows.
The funeral will be held Sunday af-
ternoon with services at the Calumet
Congregational church at 2:30 o'clock,
and interment in the old cemetery at
Schoolcraft. Centennial. Rev. Luther
X. Long will officiate.
The deceased had been in the employ
of the G. & H. Mining company for a
great many years as q painter and dec
orator. For the past three years he
had been i'm Indifferent health. Five
weeks ago he sustained n paralytic
stroke, from the effects of which he
never recovered
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
WORK IN HARMONY
With THE M. A. c.
SUGGESTION THAT MICH. HAVE A
COMMISSIONER OF AGRIcUL.
TURE MEETS WITH AP-
PROVAL.

Detroit, Dec. 1.-The suggestion
that we have a Commissioner of Agri.
culture and Horticulture in Michigan
is a splendid one" said President M
A. McRae Of the Detroit Board of Com
merce, "and he could work in har-
mony with our splendid Michigan
Agricultural College, of which we ar,
all proud 1t is doing a good work al.
ready but it could be augmented ma.
terially by a Commissioner of Agri-
culture and Horticulture working in
conjunction with it,
This is the era Of scientific meth
DDS in everything The basic prin-
ciple Of every success in this modern
day is scientific knowledge The sue
cess of any business enterprise is de-
pendent upon men, methods and mon
ey in the order named, and men with
proper methods and a reasonable sum
of money can make more profit i'm in
vesting i'm the agricultural and horti-
cultural lands i'm Michigan than i'm any
other state i'm the union. Carl Schmidt
and other men of Detroit, who are stu
dents and thinkers, are developing
Michigan land, and the results of their
enterprise and accomplishments will
surprise the world. Some of the lands
which they have acquired were sup
posed to be barren and worthless, but
the fallacy Of such theory will short
ly be proven to the world.
Through scientific analysis, II is now
possible TO analyze the soil of any Sec
tion Of the state to ascertain it's value
for agricultural purposes. If the an
alysis proves that il contains too much
acid, an alkali is placed into the
ground and the hyperacidity neutral
lied, the scientific analysis will prove
TO the purchaser just what that land
will produce and in what quantities
Purchasers of land once had to pur-
chase on speculative basis. Now
they do not have TO do so.
"The editor of an agricultural paper
published in Des Moines told me re-
Gently in Detroit. that the average
production per acre I'm Iowa next year
will be increased three bushels, as a
direct result of scientific methods pur-
sued as outlined by the State Depart
mnt OF Agriculture. This means an
increased product each year worth
several millions of dollars.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
FORM RULES FOR CANAL.
Two Michigan Congressman To Visit
Panama This Month.

Washington, Dec. 1.-At least two Of
the members of the Michigan delega-
tion will visit the Panama canal this
month, on what is likely 10 prove the
last congressional inspection trip prior
to the completion OF the interoceanic
waterway. This trip, unlike any here
tofore made, will be rather with an
idea of formulating rules for the con-
duct Of the completed canal than for
its mere construction.
The Michigan members going are
Representative DOremus of Detroit
and Hamilton OF Niles. Of the inter
state and foreign commerce commit
tee The full committee is going down
early I'm December To study the situa-
ton, secure data on which TO prepare
a basis of canal tolls. i'm short to gather
material ON the spot for formulating
the full set of rules and regulations
under which the navigation of the
canal shall be carried on. The COM
mittee will be gone about three weeks
Representative Doremus is expected
In Washington Saturday.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
OIL TRUST NO MORE.
Subsidiaries, Beginning Today, Must
Conduct Business Independently.

New York, N. Y, Dee. 1.-The ca
reer of the "oil trust" officially came to
an end yesterday. The Standard oil
company OF New Jersey, sometimes
called the father of trusts and perhaps
the most celebrated corporation i'm the
world, will no longer control the af-
fairs, as the holding company, of more
than thirty corporations i'm various
branches of the oil business.
Beginning today these subsidiaries,
which, under the decree of the United
States supreme court, must conduct in
dependently the various enterprises,
will assume entire management Of
their own affairs.
The oil trust theoretically passed out
OF existence on August 81 when the
books containing the records of the
New Jersey companys stockholders
were closed for distribution of the
stock of the subsidiaries, but during
the Intervening. period of readjustment
It was necessary To preserve the old
form to a large extent Now the work
of disintegration has been completed.
The stock issues representing the sub
salaries win pass into the hands of
owners Of old STANDARD oil stock to-
morrow and the threads which long
have bound the old companies together
will be severed
The task of effecting dissolution was
made less difficult by the fact that the
companies never have lost
their identity. They have retained
their separate officers and boards of
directors and to a large extent have
conducted their own affairs from their
home Offices i'm whatever states they
We're. These companies, however
have had representation at 26 Broad
way, the home of the New Jersey cor
poration, which exercised general di-
rection over all their affairs. 1t is this
which will end.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
Governor Foss Would Have Con
gress Define Lawful and
Unlawful Acts
SAYS G. 0. P. HAS FAILED
Declares Progressive Democracy
Only Hope of Country
Urges Closer Union Of States For Pop
ular Government and Elimina-
tion of Privilege.

Charleston, S. c., Dec. IA closer
union of the states for popular govern
ment, and the elimination Of special
tariff and other privileges. as the only
basis for constructive national prog
Sress. was advocated nv Governor Eu
gene N. Foss of Massachusetts, in an
address before ST. Andrews Society
yesterday.
He declared the business interests of
the country must be built upon con-
structlve business lines for the benefit
of the people, and that the Republican
party had utterly failed in this re-
gard.
He outlined the progressive move
ment OF the Democratic party, which
he said. furnished the necessary som-
ton of our national problems, and de-
cared that the country is calling upon
that party to assume the leadership.
lie declared that the Sherman act had
failed TO safeguard and develope our
industrial prosperity, and that it had
reacted injuriously upon all business.
He believed, he said, that each state
must now take up the duties of regu-
lating it's trade and commerce. instead
Of leaving this to take its chances with
unwise federal control and litigation:
called for a more business-lil< direc-
ton of public affairs and declared it
to be the duty and the opportunity of
the progressive Democracy to estab-
lish clean-cut business methods I'm gov
ernment as we'll as industry and COM
merce
Governor Foss said in part
The era of the Payne -Aldrich tariff
has been also the era of the political
boss. II has witnessed the subversion
Of legislatures, and dlctation of con-
gressional action. and the disturbance
Of executive duty, through forces that
work. i'm the dark, against the public
welfare. It has been the direct rep
resentation of popular will supplanted
by the dictates of political machines
Relief from present conditions can
be-and will be-accorded by a DEM
ocratic administration and a Demo-
~ oiit NfbikltGSs lAOt ltNulNN tdll bf
secured by our party through the twin
policies OF n reasonable tariff and set
tied program of reciprocal trade agree
ments.
but there is. i'm my Judgment. a
still more important step which re-
mains for us to take.
1T is time for Congress while up
holding the principle that interstate
and foreign trade shall be free from
restraint, to define so far as practica-
bic what specific acts shall be deemed
lawful and what unlawful, in order
that the legitimate business of the
country may know what the conditions
are to which business must conform
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
EPWoRTH LEAGUE PROGRAM.
Fine Entertainment and Supper To-
morrow Eveninu

morrow Evening.
Arrangements have been made 10y
the Epworth League of the Kearsarge
NJ. E. church for concert and supper
tomorrow evening. Supper win be
served from to 1880 o'clock, after
which the following program will be
rendered:
Opening song, "All Hail. League.
Vocal solo. Miss Nancy stephens.
Recitation, Albert Coombs.
Vocal solo, Mrs. Richard Cornish.
Address, President Thomas Nichols
Vocal Duet, Misses Sylvia Liddicoat
and Ethel HILL
Solo. Thomas Curtiss.
Solo, Garnet Cafkeet.
Song. THE Fight is on" League.
Recitation, Miss Gladys Milford
Vocal solo, Miss Ethel Hill
Comedy, "Why Mrs. Gaykll Did Not
Hire a Cook"
Characters-Carmen Williams. Syl-
via Liddicoat, Ethel Hill, Doris Jaut-
rau, Il. Williams, Lucy Williams, Nan
cy stephens and Clyde Donald.
Vocal solo, w. Pollard.
Closing song. League.
Benediction, President Thomas Mich
oils.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
WOULD LIVE DOWN PAST.
Mrs. Patterson, Freed by Jury, Will Be
Good in Future.

Denver. Col. Dec. Mrs. Gertrude
Gibson Patterson. acquitted by the
Jury on the charge of killing her hus-
band is happy-happy in the freedom
which until Wednesday she had been
denied since she shot her husband on
September 25 last
Surrounded by her mother, her fath-
or. a sister and a brother. Mrs. Ger
trude Gibson Patterson discussed her
case:
"My life has been n tragedy she
said. 81 might say melodrama IN
which sin and wickedness predomin-
ated I want II I'm the future to be a
poem-a poem of goodness, of sunshine
and happiness and purity. As to Emil
Strouss. I never want TO hear OF him
again. / want TO blot out the past. TIL
admit that i'm the history of my lie
there have been many scarlet pages
the closing chapters ! want TO be quiet.
have not thoroughly made up my
mind what I will do in the future. |
would like to write or teach. or do
something worth while; something to
latone In measure for the past"
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
WOMAN SUES A cHINAMAN.
Illinois Spinster Charges Wealthy
Oriental With Breach of PromiseN

oriental WIN breach OF fromiSeN
Spokane, Wash, Nov. SO.-Anna
Hopper, who came to Spokane from
Chicago a month ago, has instituted an
action for $4,000 damages i'm the SUI
perior court of Whitman county
against Gong Lee, 20 years of age. the
sole Chinese resident of the city OF
Pullman. Breach of promise to prom
Use TO marry the Illinois spinster is al
legged. The wedding was to have taken
place on November %. Miss Hopper is
not in the city. but will return in a
week or 10 days.
Gong Lee has lived i'm Pullman about
25 years and is reputed to be wealthy.
He is engaged i'm market gardening.
He says that Miss Hopper and Mar
garet Pemrose, proprietor Of a hotel
i'm Spokane, visited his shack on No
vember 8, when the last named asked
him If he wanted a good wife, saying
that her companion, Miss Hopper,
would marry him and make his life a
happy one.
Lee asserts that he did not prom
ise to take the woman as his wife, say
ing he told her i'm the presence of
Miss Pemrose that he would not give
his word until he had satisfied himself
as to her character He admitted 1T
was somewhat sudden" Miss Hopper
told him, he said. she is well connect
ed in Chicago and has many influen-
tial friends in that city, also through
out the northwest
one of Lees closest white friends
says the Cinnamon has been involved
i'm several similar cases and hes been
neeced out of large sums OF money
by adventurers through alleged prom
ises of marriage. He thinks that Lees
reputed wealth is the chief attraction
and that this has made him a mark
for all kinds of games. Lee says he
will defend the action and that the
woman will get nothing for her trou-
BILE and the accompanying notoriety In
the court case,
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
BETTER TEACHING METHODS.

Chicago, H., Dec. 1.-The Nationa
Council Of Teachers of English the
new conference today recently pro-
vided for by the National Education
Association, began It's first meeting in
Chicago today with an attendance rep
resenting nearly all parts of the coun-
try. The council proposes to devote
It's efforts to the Improvement of tho
present methods of English teaching
which are declared to be wholly inefii-
Client.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
PARTY is BIG SUCCESS.

The thirtieth annual military ball
under the joint auspices of the Calu-
met Engineers. G. A. r. and Spanish
American War Veterans. at the Caiu-
met Light Guard armory "Wednesday
evening proved a great success. The
attendance was large and included a
large number from the Portage Lake
towns. The c. & II. orchestra rem
dered an excellent program of dance
numbers and luncheon was served.
The decorations and electrical effects
were gorgeous. Special cars were
provided for the convenience of out Of
town visitors.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
MEMBERSHIP CONTEST.

At the last regular meeting Of Court
John A. Bobb, Foresters Of America,
OF Wolverine, II was decided TO in
augurate n membership contest, TO
continue through the remainder Of the
winter season. The lodge members
have been divided into two teams. the
reds and the blues, captained by VIII
liam Dunn and Albert Coombs re-
spectively. and considerable rivalry
has developed. II is expected that the
lodge membership will be considerably
increa sed as a result Of the contest.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
INTERNATIONAL
OPIUM CONGRESS
MANY NATIONS REPRESENTED
AT THE HAGUE TO DISCUSS
SUPPRESSION OF
FFIC.

The Hague. Dec 1.-Representatives
OF many nations have assembled here
10 take part i'm the much discussed and
long delayed international conference
for the suppression of the opium traf-
flc. The purpose of the conference is
to give effect TO the resolutions of the
international opium commission, which
met in Shanghai early in 1903, and tc
endeavor to secure an agreement upon
uniform national laws and regulations
to control the production, manufacture
and distribution of opium, its deriva-
tives and preparations. The effort viii
also be made to regulate the shipment
Of opium. restrict the cultivation of
the poppy. authorize the search of ves-
sells for contraband opium, and finally
to create an international commission
to carry out the agreements.
Bishop Brent of the Philippine,
heading the American delegation, has
been selected to preside at the con-
ference. other members of the Amer
lean delegation are Or. Hamilton
Wright Of Maine and Henry f. Finger
of California with Frederic l.. Huide-
koper of Washington, ID. c., as secre-
tary.
The British delegates are Cecil
Clement smith, who attended the on
ference at Shanghai; Sir William Stew
enson Meyer, formerly financial sec
retary i'm the Government of India;
William Grenfell MaX-Mueller. coun-
cillor of the British embassy at Pc
king: and Sir William Collins, an en-
inent authority
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
DEATH OF YOUNG WOMAN.

Miss Kate Kelly. aged 26. daughter
Of John u. Kelly OF Osceola, died ear
ly this morning following an attack
of tuberculosis She Is survived by her
father, and the following sisters:
Misses Johanna. Mary. Maggie and
Alice. the latter a teacher at the Della
ware and Jerry of Newberry. and Con
j.. residing at home. No arrangements
for the funeral have been made as yet.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
PICTURES FOR INSANE.

Washington. ID. c., Dec. 1.-The
S125.O0O theater erected by the Gov
ernment for the benefit of the inmates
of st. Elizabeth's Insane Asylum was
opened today. The theater is to be de-
voted to the display of moving pic
lures, which alienists declare to be a
great aid i'm curing insanity. The thea
ter is called Hitchcock Hall, in honor
of Ethan Hitchcock. who was Secre-
Itary Of the Interior at the time the
appropriation for the erection of the
building was passed by Congress.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
FRIEND Of Russia Assassinated.
RED HATS ARE CONFERRED.

Rome. Dec. 1.-The concluding and
most impressive ceremony connected
with the creation of the new cardinals
occurred yesterday morning at the
great public consistory at the vatican
when eighteen princes of the church.
including the three American prelates.
Cardinals, Falconio. Farley and O'Con-
nell were invested with the red hats
indicating their rank.
Appointments.
Pope Plus has appointed Cardinal
Farley a member Of the consistorial
and propaganda congregations: O'Con-
nell to the congregations of rites and
studies; Falconio to the congregations
of propaganda and religion.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
connauehts at Hamilton.

Hamilton, ont. Dec. 1.-The Cover
nor General and the Duchess of Com
naught met with an enthusiastic re-
ception upon their arrival here today
for Toronto. The city was elaborate
ly decorated in their honor Their
Royal Highnesses will be the guests of
Hamilton until tomorrow morning,
when they win return To Ottawa.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-12-01
BIG LOCKOUT IN BERLIN.

Berlin. Dec. 1.-The lockout Of
metal workers. which went into effect
last night. already has affected fifty
to sixty thousand men. Representa-
tives of both sides are i'm conference
today. endeavoring to reach a settle
ment