davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04
Use and Abuse of Automobiles.

Recently a manufacturer of autOmO-
biles remarked that it is high time
"for the automobile industry to stop
pandering to cheap notoriety and barn
storming." He referred to automobile
racing, which has outlived it's useful
ness, if it ever had any. The racing of
autos is perilous performance to the
racers and the spectators alike. The
manufacturer quoted takes a common
sense view.
The automobile, unlike the bicycle,
has come to stay. It is not a toy, nor
is it freak. 1t is a thing Of beauty
and will be joy forever if insane
Etjoy riding" and inane racing are
eliminated. The auto rapidly is be-
coming the comparatively poor mans
vehicle. Its development of cheapness
in price combined with efficiency in
service is almost a marvel. Only a
few years ago the average price of a
touring car was about $4,000. The
auto then was the rich mans vehicle
exclusively. Nowadays touring cars
are offered fresh from the shops as
low as $500, while there are makes of
runabouts considerably below $500
which give good service. Year by
year the prices are going lower. New
inventions and scientific methods of
manufacture are making the auto
safer, saner and cheaper
While of course there is a limit to
the minimum figures at which good
automobiles may be built and sold,
there is no doubt that in few years
the prices will go considerably lower
than those prevailing now. Even at
present high class rubber tired buggy
and horse and harness to match cost
as much as an automobile runabout,
which travels better and does not con-
sumo as costly a quantity Of gasoline
as the horse consumes Of hay and oats.
Now the thing indicated is to get some
more common sense into the automo-
bile industry and rescue the wonder
full machine from the freak class.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04
Madero, Dreamer.

Senior Limantour, Mexican minister
OF finance, spoke slightingly not long
ago of Francisco I. Madero, Jr., leader
OF the insurrectos, as "a vegetarian
and dreamer Yet events so shaped
themselves that Limantour advised
that peace negotiations be opened with
this same Madero, the mighty Diaz
and his government being the other
party. Emergencies sometimes lift out
of obscurity into renown and impor-
lance men whose caliber is unsuspect-
ed before. Madero seems to be one of
these men.
We are told by the insurrecto lead
er's own father that until a year ago
the younger Francisco was a reticent,
bashful person, unable to make a
speech without stammering and blush
ing. Now he is accounted an orator.
Madero senior seems surprised that
"his boy" has developed into a great
man. He admits that his son is a vege-
tartan. AS to his being a dreamer,
there seems to be no doubt that he has
dreamed of great and needed reforms
for his native country. He appears,
however, to have no dream Of empire.
Though he calls himself provisional
president of Mexico, he has asserted
his willingness to permit some other
man acceptable to the people to sue
coed President Diaz. He declares that
he has no ambition toward the presi-
dency Of the republic, but only desires
that Diaz retire and the people choose
president whose administration will
be more nearly in accord with demo-
cratic ideals.
Madero, who is said to be still under
forty, belongs to a noted and wealthy
family. He has been a student of
books rather than of men. Study Of
books sometimes inculcates ideals in
men, and it is probable that this young
man acquired in his reading a passion
for liberty which has been denied to
the majority Of his countrymen who
are ignorant of books. At any rate,
Madero just now is a person Of conse-
quence, and it is immaterial whether
he eats meat so long as he stands for
progress. Dreamers, by the way, fire.
quently have set on foot important
movements for the benefit of human
ity.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

When Governor Dix of New York
appointed dead man to represent the
state at a peace conference he may
have considered the appointee eligible
because he rests in peace. The Incl
dent recalls that of the secretary of a
national association who wrote let
ter to Rutherford B. Hayes inviting
him to convention two or three years
after the death Of the ex-president.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04
Values.

We have just got the market price Of
wives doped out, not to penny, but
close enough. The research work came
to an end when we put the subject Of
marriage up to prominent bachelor.
II wouldn't give SO cents for a wife,"
he asserted.
But" we asked, you'd give a
counterfeit half dollar for a better
half, wouldn't your"
He acknowledged that he would So,
you see, were getting right down to
cases.-New York Journal.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04
Fake SMedical Institutes,


One Of the best campaigns for the
benefit of humanity has been opened
by the postoffice department in it's at
tack upon the fake medical insti-
tutes" which use the mails in carrying
on their despicable swindling. Until a
few years ago these Infamous frauds
pursued their business practically
without molestation. Their business
is to prey upon those unfortunate mem
bers of the human race who are af-
ficted with ailments supposed to be in
durable. When an invalid has ex-
hausted all ordinary methods of treat
ment he is led easily, by alluring rep
reservations, to try the "sure cures"
offered by these swindlers. Various
diseases are "treated' by them, usual
Iy by mail. There is no form of hu-
man deviltry more devilish than that
of robbing the sick not only Of their
money, but of their chance for recov-
cry, as these medical pirates do.
A few years ago the laws got after
and apparently eradicated an institute
in a middle western state which adver-
tised "absent treatment" 1t was dis
covered that eighty girl stenographers
were employed in the place. The
work of these girls was to fill out and
mail to patients who sent in descrip-
tons Of their symptoms the particular
blank indicated. The forms were num-
bered for the guidance of the stenog-
raphers. Thousands of letters were
received daily, each containing money.
The Ubiquitous concern waxed rich. It
was closed temporarily, but not long
ago it reopened under a new scheme
of operation.
1t is reported that the postofice de-
partment now is determined to go
after all such concerns against which
it can obtain evidence and prosecute
the persons in charge for misuse of
the mails. The general public is totally
unaware of the enormous number of
sick people who patroniZe these swim
dlers as last resort, abandoning legit-
innate physicians and common sense
home treatment. "A fool and his
money are soon parted is the theory
upon which the fake medical institutes
work, but it is cruel to characterize a
despairing invalid as a fool. Uncle
Sam will do we'll to squelch all such
Shiny vampires who disgrace the med
ical profession.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04
D0CT0RING A DIAMOND.
srIek That Makes Yellow Stone Al.
pear Clear Blue White,

srlek That Makes Yellow Stone Ap.
pear Clear Blue White.
Let me show you a little trick that
would advise you not to put into prac-
uce, said a jewel fancier to a number
OF friends the other day.
Ihe conversation had turned to dia-
monds during the midday luncheon.
and the expert had been holding forth
on his favorite subject. The little
group Of st. Louisans were interested
still more when the speaker drew
Dig solitaire from his finger and beck
oned waiter across the cafe.
Bring me a glass of water and an
1ndel1ble pencil" said he when the
serVltor came over to the table.
This is trick that is essentially
crooked" said the jewel fancier, land
Will get by nine times out of ten even
When the examiner is an expert at
Judging precious stones and detecting
tr1ckery. 1t will make a yellow off
color diamond look like stone of the
very first water. Pawnbrokers in.
Vulnerable have been fooled by this
same trick. as it is extremely difficult
to detect even with a powerful glass;"
The expert took the pencil and allow
ed the indelible lead to dissolve in
the glass of water. In a couple of
minutes the water was as blue as indi-
go water.
Nov watch" said the man who
knew the lore Of Jewels.
He took the ring and dropped it into
the glass. Its brilliancy was dimmed
by the hazy. blush water until it look
ed like dead stone.
"Now, you noted" said the demon
strator. that the diamond 1 placed in
there was bit yellow. It will be
clear blush white when it comes out
Of its BATH"
At the end Of a minute the stone was
taken out The top Of the gem was
dried with soft handkerchief and
then the ring was waved to and fro
for a few moments. 1t was held up
for inspection. Not CLEAN of yellow
was to be seen. The stone was ap-
parently a magnificent blue white gem
that any one would be proud to own
and loathe to pledge.
1T is the blue pigment deposited on
the back of the stone that has made
the difference" said the jewel expert.
1.-THE deposit is so flmy that a strong
glass cannot detect it. You cannot see
it from the rear of the mounting and
only bath of alcohol will remove it.
1t will stay on the gem for weeks If it
Is not removed in that way. It used
to be a favorite trick of many folks
who now and again had to put a dia-
mond into the hands Of pawnbroker.
1.-THE trick is called 'doctoring a
stone,' but, as said in the beginning,
l would not advise you to try it. l
don't know what the law on such
matters is in Missouri, but there are
states where person convicted of
such an offense would serve a long
penitentiary term for his cleverness, -
St Louis Republic.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

Mexico's military establishment must
be in bad way when the federal Off
GERS have to beat the privates with the
fiat of their swords to make them
fight Most of the soldiers would
rather drink pulque than shoot insur-
rectOS
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04
Onlv a Decov.

Il think she will make very domes-
TIC wife. have been calling on her
for several months now and always
find her darn1ng one of her fathers
socks"
But have you noticed that it is al
ways the same old sock?'-Louisville
Courier Journal.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

Generally speaking, the man who
gives the heartiest welcome to the re-
turn of balmy spring is the one whose
overcoat has just been lifted off the
hook in the restaurant while he is
looking the other way.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04
Wonderful Kindness

Hatteras-Is Ghivex ssoC pay7
aanchett-Good pay1 Why. once.
when his assets were twice as much
as his liabilities. he went into bank
ruptcy SO his creditors would get 200
cents on the dollar.-Puck.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

Simple murder is fendish. but COM
pound murder, such as that which re-
suits from setting off a dynamite bomb
to 'get" one individual and killing 9TH
ers as we'll. is about the worst sor,
imaginable.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

Now is the time for all good men to
come to the aid of all parties by join
ing the no mosquito brigade and get
ting rid of stagnant water, where the
pests breed.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

When man who has been "men-
toned" for the presidency begins to
take oratorical swings around the cir
Gle you can bank on the assumption
that the bee is buzzing.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

A veteran who died recently said he
cured himself of rheumatism of twen-
ty-two years. standing by fasting
twenty-one days. Wasn't that a fast
cure, though?
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04
Hioh finanea-

why do you keep asking people for
change for dollar and then asking
other people to give you a dollar for
your changer
well. somebody may make a mis-
take in change some time. And, be-
Heve me. it won't be me!'-New York
Journal.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

In England there is a Dr. Cook who
claims that he is rightful heir to an
estate of $GO,OOO,OOO. Wonder if our
Fred has gone abroad again!
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

In Montclair, n. j., any householder
or property owner who permits a stag
nant water pool to stay on his prem
Uses may be fined $40 and trimmings.
The Jersey skeeter just loves stagnant
pools. Old rain barrels also are popu-
lar with the pest.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04
The Point Of View.

ne T0Tnt or view.
Il suppose your clerks are all Re-
publicans?"
NO" said the merchant. II hire the
best men, irrespective of their poll
tics"
What queer way to run a busi-
ness!' commented the POLITICIAN
Louisville Courier Journal.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

What! Cream colored postal cards
printed in red ink? Polite society must
have been coaching Uncle Sam as to
the cream tint, but what about the
inko
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

Probably the most popular newspa-
per headline Of the time is .AThe Civi!
War Fifty Years Ago Today"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

Congressman Macon Of Arkansas,
remarks an esteemed contemporary,
wants to make dealing in futures a
thing Of the past. That will do for
the present.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

The very latest news is that Buffalo
Bill has retired again. Bill probably
retires every night
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

Democratic presidential possibilities
are plentiful, but it is the probabilities
that count
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

The feeble howl with the wolves,
bray with the asses and bleat with the
sheep.-Roland.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-05-04

How much more will it set you back
if the income tax amendment carries?
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-11-17
In Germany the Householder Desires
a place Where tIs Children Can
Play In Open Air.

AS in England and other countries.
the problem OF housing the working
classes is deeply engaging the atten-
ton of the Germans. The ideal Is to
obtain fresh air. plenty OF light. the
privacy which the householder nat,
urally desires, and above all a strip
Of garden. however small. where his
children can play in the open air and
he himself can enjoy repose In his
leisure hours.
In many German cities the prob
lem has been largely solved. and Ores
den, Strasburg. Nuremberg, Carlsruhe.
Essen and other towns already have
garden settlements where thousands
Of working families live happily and
in comfort. The solution is not so
easy In Berlin owing to the ever ris-
ing value Of land. but It Is not con-
sidered to be beyond reach. and at
least a half dozen societies are plan
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-11-17
He GETS AWAY WITH IT
Variety Actor Tackles Second Grave
digger In Hamlet and Steals
All the Laughs.

A company playing Hamlet" was
forced to find an actor to play the
Second Gravedigger on account Of the
illness Of the second comedian Of the
company. The only actor available
was a variety performer, who had no
reverence for Shakespeare and no re-
spect for the traditions of the classic
drama. The Second Gravedigger was
comedy part, and he knew that he
could get away with It,"
When the First Gravedigger threw
of the first waistcoat, revealing an
other underneath, the audience tit
tered. The removal Of the second
waistcoat brought a loud laugh. and
the third produced roar. The First
Gravedigger was delighted. He had
never played to such an appreciative
audience, and visions of good notices
in the papers and possible increase
in salary began to loom up before his
eyes. AS he threw on the fourth
waistcoat he turned partly around.
and the cause of the unusual hit was
disclosed to him.
The Second Gravedigger. being ac-
customed to build laughs on lines and
business of other actors, saw his OPP
portunity and seized it. AS fast as
the First Gravedigger would throw
the waistcoats, on the ground. the
variety comedian would pick them up
and put them on. The new business
was much funnier to the audience
than the old, with which it was thor
oughly familiar.
Not content with. having stolen the
laughs from the regular comedian In
this scene, the new man went fur
Their. When the First GravediggeI
said to him, go, get thee to Waugh
an; fetch me a stoup Of liquor" (tc
which there is no reply in the text,
! the assistant sexton replied:
Vaughan told me to tell you that
you couldn't have any more liquor
from him till you paid for the last you
got."-The Bookman.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-11-17

They had been married but three
months when Professor Sherwood
formed the abominable habit OF toss
ing himself on the dining room couch
Immediately after lunch and snoring
away the half hour before 1t was time
to return to the high school
OF course he did not know 1t. but
the habit was a narrowing one-to
the onlookers. And many and many a
time young Mrs. Sherwood groaned
and clenched her fist at the sleeper.
Naturally, though. she did II when Mr..
Forbes, the teacher OF mathematics.
did not see her AS for the teacher OF
mathematics. young man and good
looking. who boarded with them. ne
always rose laughingly from the table
and moved about on tip-toe when the
first snore crossed the ripple OF his
and Mrs. Sherwood's conversation
II hurt the young wife-this obliv-
iousness to her presence. She might
have endured 1t had there been no
spectators. AS It was she always ex-
perienced an unpleasant sensation OF
feeling that the teacher OF mathemat-
kcs was aware OF her chagrin and that
II amused him. And sometimes she
wasn't quite sure which she hated
more. the sleeper or the other. But
after Mr.. Forbes had gone she often
stood long before the couch regarding
her husband closely.
What test for Lowell" was her Gus
! tomary soliloquy. as she reused him
to the duties of the afternoon. Like
the proverbial fly In the ointment. II
embittered her whole outlook on life
for her. She dreaded that noon hour
Finally things came to such a pass
that she positively hated the kiss that
the reused sleeper always bestowed
before leaving. Eventually she hit up
on a means to avoid It. At the last
moment just as she called him she
scurried away to remote regions OF
the house on some important pretext
With masculine density. for the
first few days, the man discovered nc
intention In these maneuvers. One
day. however. something's flash hs
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-11-17

had caught In her eyes-made him
hasten after her The kiss that day
was placed somewhere In the region
of her ear, and to the mans intense
surprise she said quite angrily:
Don't be silly. Arthur. It's perfect
iy ridiculous TO kiss me every time
you leave the housed"
Professor Sherwood bit his lip at
the rebuf.
The next day he made NO attempt
to the MONDAY kiss. And then. per-
haps 1t was q week later that some
thing, not his wife's touch. reused him
from sleep.
He could not place the sound exact
" Half In dreamiand as he was. II
came to him as an echo from another
land
His wife moving around In the
kitchen was all that he heard. The
sound was not repeated. and later in
the stress OF his school work the In
cident was forgotten
The next day. curiousiy enough. that
very same sound awakened him. This
time he was sure It was part OF the
work-a-day world and not dream.
"Oh! You're awakel" was his wife's
exclamation as she came in to call
him.
The day following circumstances
were similar. That very same some
thing had reused him again. But this
&,xnn he fun,nad mn oufcklv Ann nj.
though he had not as yet interpreted
the sound in word. he strobe swiftly
into the kitchen.
Mrs. Sherwood was caintily pilins
the dishes. Mr. Forbes was walking
down the garden path. striding along
like a college youth
The day after. trying to keep awake
and only just on the border OF that
dreamland country. he caught It again
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-11-17
lLIosT CRAZY WITH ECZEMA

he undersigned. cannot give
soerh praise to the Cuticura Rem
.iie ] had been doctoring for at
e,st ysar for eczema on my foot. 7
lzf tried doctor after doctor all te
ncnzil. When a young girl l spraineG
~ snkle three different times. paying
Ms or no attention to 1t, when five
y<n ago small spot showed upon
~ Itit ankle. / was worried and sent
n 4 doctor. He said II was eczema.
Hs rev q small bone from the ankle
lhe4 the size Of q match and about
9 ineh long. The small hole grew
about the size Of an apple, and the
Esena spread to the knee. The doc
IN never could heal the hole in the
NILE The whole foot ran water all
tl the.
~ husband and my sons were up
l'sh' and day wheeling me from one
ton to another in the hope of giving
~ some relief. Iwould sit for hours
4 time In front of the fireplace
aoplng for daybreak. The pain was
Intense ] was almost crazy, in fact,
would lose my reason for hours at
une. One day friend Of mine
eppped m to see me. No more had
-s glanced at my foot than she ex.
q1'ned: Nrs Finnegan, why in the
*'ild don't you try the Cuticura Rem
''~F Being disguised with the doc
20 and their medicines, and not be-
aole 70 sleep at all, / decided to
~ me Cuticura Soap and Cuticura
1n'nent a trial. After using them
nv days that night l slept as sound
&nlse7 dollar for eight long hours.
a.'le n the morning with but very
Y pam, IN fact. thought ! was
's.sen After using the Cuticura
asa'd'es for three months / was per-
restored to health, thanks to
oaucura Soap and Ointment.
~ e sixty'four years Of age my
~. G. birthday, bale and hearty at pres
y. 's'sned) Mrs. Julia Ffnnegan,
-. ne0ert st., st. Louis, Mo-, Mar.
e'.L Although cuticura Soap and
s1s are sold by druggists and
- 49, J. everywhere, a sample Of each.
e<paee book, VIII be mailed
~ " sppncation to "Cuticura, /"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-11-17

The family with young children that is
without sickness In the house now and
then is rare, and so IT IL important that
the head OF the house should know what
to do in the little emergencies that arise.
A child with a serious ailment needs a
doctor. Il is true, but In the majority OF
Instances. as any doctor knows, the child
suffers from some intestinal trouble,'
usually constipation
There is no sense In giving it q pill or
a remedy containing an opiate, nor ID
flushing Of the bowels to be always rec
Commended. Rather give II q small dose
OF a mild, gentle laxative, tonic like DR..
Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin. which. by clean
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-11-17
PROBLEM OF THE GARDEN

ming and constructing garden colonies
for the working classes
An exhibition arranged by one OF
these societies has just been opened
and shows such a colony ready for
habitation. II contains two sorts OF
houses, one standing by itself. the
other forming one OF row. the rent
OF the former being naturally slightly
higher than that Of the latter II has
been found that the houses can be let
profitably at the rate of less than 81
a square yard year. so that a two
story building on an area OF sixty
square yards. with three rooms. kitch-
en-. scullery and bath. can be let for
500 a year A garden of two hundred
square yards goes with each house
The houses in rows cost from $40 to
$50 yearly.-European Letter to the
New York Sun.