davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
EVENING CHAT
BY RUTH CAMERON.

am urged not to forget my promise
Ina! thlS column shall occasionally be
ueuIicateu 10 tclnnS about unusual occu-
pations, at which women have earned
butter. - o. i1@s1 'heAr
wish my reader friends vou1d NOT for
get their end of this taking. Please re-
member that any time you hear Of some
woman who has found some less crowded
~ -, esSioh OF INDUSTRY, you owe ii to all
VINO nave helped you at any time 10 pass
this suggestion along.
One interesting way in which a good
COOK Ia earning her pin money is II, yoals-
ing wedding cake. She has other maans
OF support, but tucks this Industry IL,
aIons with them, She makes the wedding
CAKE boxes It, ties it up, and delivers IL
ana also makes the brides cake when do
sired She buys her materials at whole
sale ana on a large order often makes
from twenty-five to fifty dollars Wbv
couldn't any girl who is good worker
ana wants to earn extra pin money. send
out pretty cards to her friends anrounc-
ing that she will do this sort of work?
young woman in New York takes
contracts for removing cockroaches from
puIlulhss- You shudder at that and think
such work should be left to men. I don't
Know Isn't such work really a part of
housekeeping2 Apropos of this know a
man who IS a rat eNterminator by trade
and apparently quite prosperous but ac-
cording to all traditions. I suDDose this
would not appeal to the feminine mind.
A woman in Boston takes inventories of
houses that are rented furnished and
afterwards checks up the belongings
\ letter friend tells me that MANY
young housewives. or rather house-1vfx
tO-be have expressed the wish to her
that they had some woman who would go
on shopping expedition with them. and
show them how to furnish their new
homes economically and tastefulIv II
seems to me that to people who cannot
afford an interior decorator and vet feel
their own inability to buy wisely and with
good taste, the services of such a helper
would be really invaluable, and would
more than pay back whatever percentaee
of the total expenditure she charged
When you read the item frogs legs on
the bill Of fare, do you ever wonder where
the frogs for that delicacy come from?
! always had strange notion that they
must come from France, but they don't
They are raised right in this country and
one woman al least is enga ged in this
unique industry. She is from New Jersey.
She was in poor health, which forbade in
door work. and so she bought a farm and
took to raising bullfrogs.
If you don't like to do queer things YOU
are doubtless shuddering at some Of these
extra ordinary women.
If you don't mind being unconventional
You may even find a suggestion in these
hints.
And at any rate. whether they touch us
closely or not, / think these odd things
our sisters are doing, are interesting to
hear about2
Don't you2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19

I want to beat him at checkers and
then marry him"
''Shooi never heard the like. I
thought women married for love"
Its som etimeS just as well to love
after marriage. When / was a girl
at home 1 played a pretty good game
of checkers, didn't I?'
"Um-m- m-n1- Yes, I remember"
But not good enough ?"
mot good enough to beat a county
champion
Now listen. You are not to let on
here in HiIIsdale that you ever played
d day to tnstructing me. You have
got to teach me all the tricks in the
business
land then what?"
LII play against this man and beat
him and marry him.
Il don't see how beating a man at
checkers is going
You never mind that. Teach me
to beat him and I'll take care of the
rest
Work was begun the next day, and
it was thirty days and one more for
good measure when the father said:
That's enough, Mary. 1 can't teach
you another darned trick Say, you'll
down that widower like a hill falling
on him, but maybe he won't propose
after ALL"
Then maybe you've got a mush-
room for a daughterl"
The game of checkers that was
brought about between widow and
widower Will be remembered in Hills
dale until long after the children of
that day are married off. 1t was
brought about through badinage on
the part of the widow-a little badi-
mage and little Boosting. The nov
city of playing checkers with a wom-
an rather appealed to Mr.. Narmore.
The struggle came off in the town hall,
where the hundreds of spectators
could see. On that day, an hour be-
fore the game began, the widow Dakin
the widow Stevens and the widow
Everett tainted away and had to have
the doctor. They realized that they
were out of the running.
There We're predictions that the
struggle, which was to be for the best
three games out of five, would last a
week whole day was the most con-
sentative prediction, and many specta-
tors brought noon luncheon. But
Things went like cyclone after a rab-
bit. In two hours it was begun and
ended. The widow Harper won three
straight games and the widower Mar
more never had a chance. There were
cheers and shouts and yells, and the
victor was draped in Old Glory
Daughter, what was Narmore saw
ing to you after the game ?" asked the
father after the two had reached
wife, '>''i me 70 De MS
by thunder."
But doesn't a man want a wife that
he can brag of and that everybody
else will brag Of? Thanks. daddy.
GU can go back home now if YOU are 4
lonesome for mother.''-(C Copyright.
lSll' by Associated Literary Press)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
SAYS UNCLE CAV

It's a mighty bad habit to talk about
your own virtues, and a worse one TO
talk about your own faults. nave
known at least half u dozen men who
would have been great if they had not
fancied that all the world had its
eyes on their own particular shortcom-
ings. They were constantly reminding
others of failings that had either es-
capped attention or had been forgotten
They never attempted anything with
out first apologizing for some misstep
of the past and, as consequence, no
body ever trusted them All six or
them failed at last and failed because
they didn't give their neighbors
chance to believe in them.
Remember your own faults to cure
them, but don't forget that your mis-
takes are not very important to the
man next door. This is an average
world of average people, and all slip
and fall down sooner or later. It's so
common a thing to see a man in the
mud of disaster that we don't think
anything of it, and it's a mighty mean
man who will remember an error OF
judgment against you. And mean men
don't count for much in the long run
The world has troubles of its own,
and it isn't going to go into ancient
history when you try to make good if
you don't remind it of the closed
chapter by attempting an explanation
Explanations never explain, anyway;
they only damn.
When you trip over one of your
faults cure it and conceal it. Nobody
cares and nobody is going to recall the
failure if you don't plead guilty Put
a brave face on the matter and go
ahead as if you had a clean record.
The dead past is dead and there is no
reason why you should voluntarily put
yourself in the position of the murder
ers of old who were forced to carry the
bodies of their victims chained to their
backs.
Keep your faults in mind. but let
your neighbors forget them.-( Copy
right, 1911, by w. E. Williams-)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Women are generally as old as it
suits their convenience.
=
1t doesn't take much to scare the
domestic dove of peace off it's roost-
Too many Christmas presents are
things for which nobody can have any
The fact that water is wet would not
be known to some thirsty men unless
it rained once in a while.
wife seldom has much to say
against the evils of poker playing
when her husband wins a pile and
gives her most of it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
GLOBE SIGHTS
BY THE ATcHIsON GLOBE.

Remember. you can be a gentleman
even if you aren't a scholar.
A woman who leads home a drunken
husband, OvereStimateS his value.
How one appreciates a suggestion which
is exactly what he intended to do.
Father doesn't do much Christmas
shopping, but he pays for a good deal
of it.
Some women CAD as much on their own
hook as if they were paid mileage for it.
STILL it is better and cheaper to guess
on the weather than the stock market.
While we have considerable sympathy
to dispense, very little of it is ever sent
to jail.
An Atchison woman married for spite,
and has been proving it to her husband
ever since.
Solomon was pretty smart man. al-
though he never worked in a depot in
formation bureau
Sometimes one encounters an oldest in
memory.
Every new dictionary contains some
new words. although there were enough
in the old one.
We have known old bachelors who
weren't so liberal as those in the Christ
mas magazine stories.
If you don't believe in cruel and I'M
usual punishment. don't select reporter
for your conffdant-
When a man isn't interested in society,
It may only mean that he knows so many
better ways to have fun
Six day bicycle races are also run in
the winter, when it doesn't matter much
what goes on the sport page
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
QUAKER MEDITATIoNs.


IFrom the Philadelphia RecordI
Sometimes a soft answer turneth away
wrathfully.
No man is so weak that he can't break
a promise.
Lots of people are versatile who can. I
write verse.
The chronic borrower will tell you If is
never too late to lend.
Physical culture isn't necessary in car
rying other peoples burdens.
Get the better of a man and YOU will
generally see his worst side.
Many a man dictates to his stenog-
rapher who is afraid to try it on his wife
The world is full of kickers. and THAT'S
what most Of US are kicking about
Too many of US follow our inclinatfons
without knowing where they are leading
US.
Sillicus-"Were you ever disappointed
in love-" Cynicus-''Yes once: bIIt +
didn't find It out till after 1 was MAJ
ried.'
Blobbs-"Poor Bjones buried his wife
last week" SlobbS-'.WeIl / should saw
that was the best thing to do under the
circumstances
..AIaslsI am done'' walled the heroine
We'll, that's better than being done -
muttered the villain, his mind dwelling
gloonily on the six weeks salary coming
to him.
Cynicus-'If we could set a thief to
catch a thief it might solve the problem
of perpetual motion" SilHcus-ssTIow so?'s
Cynicus-"One half the world would be
chasing the other half"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
I'D YER TLSLNG Talks

Mr.. Kenneth Durward. OF the London
Ulster House, made some remarks re-
Gently on subject that should be Of
great interest to manufacturers Of trade
marked articles
I asked hira il he ever sold his Garment q
70 dealers, permitting the dealers to sub
sttute their own names Tor his name.
ms answer was clear and to the point.
NO SIR l never take down my name
ana permit dealers TO substitute their
names on any article that L make and
stand back OF. When my trademark is
on my goods, am responsible TO tho
consumer as well as to the dealer 1 won [
nave them sold any other way.
MI Durward. unfortunately. has not Il
ing.
ON this point he said.
hese everyday special sales that you
IaNS III TINS country get on my nerves.
In England the merchant who advertises
a special sale except four times "a year.
IN the months Of January. February. July
ana August Is regarded with suspicion.
ne people In England regard special
sales at any other season of the year as
a confession OF weakness on the part u
the merchant. They think he is unsuc-
cesstul and therefore unreliable"
But MI Durward." 1 said. don't you
approve or the enterprise and energy OF
American merchants? Can YOU IAN 10 he
impressed with the persstency and reg
ularity of their business announcements
DO you not realize that we American peo-
pie look upon advertisements as real news
news, OF equal importance 70 us as the
news OF the WOrlcY
Don't you appreciate that "a pubiica-
ton without interesting advertisements
IN II would be looked upon by the people
as lacking in those features that thcv
expect in the publications they ready
Il viii admit that there is much TO criti-
else IN the methods OF American advcrtiF-
ers. but the good advertising that is done
predominates so strongly over the other
kind that think you have not formed an
accurate impression OF the power OF adj
vertising in America.
In your own case you told me YOU
have about thirty dealers In the United
states How many more do you suppose
you could get If you advertised in the
daily newspapers in the communities
where you want dealers and told the pco-
pie of that community about the charac-
ter Of the garments you make-educate
them as to their WORTH
Don't you suppose that you could get
ten times as many dealers as you now
nave? Don't you also think you could
select the dealers you want. and don't
you suppose that If you did this Kind OF
advertising, which would be honest and
straight forward, that your business ia
this country would be thousands of dol
lars greater than IL Is today2
You could do this advertising. too. at a
cost of but "a small percentage Of the
gross business that you do in this coun-
try"
/ don't know whether Mr.. Durward win
advertise in America or not. but he should
and IL he is a wise man he viii
CTO be continued.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
TuE ouID HrNrsMAN.


I hear the wild horn ringin' while all the
echoes wake.
An know the hounds go swingin' where
red fox leaves the brake,
near the rush of households an the
music of the pack,
An my ould heart leaps with longin' an
the years go rollin' back.
They say I'm worn an weary, an they
bid me sit an rest,
An they've Tapped me round with com
tort, an they've giv'n me of their
But ochone, in autumn weather with the
scent along the grass,
II l died I'd drag my ould bones where
knew the hunt would pass.
Didn't ride the brave ould sorrel, didn't
l wear the huntsman's coat,
Dlon pick each hardy youngster, didn' t
know each lusty note,
Don they love me still, the beauties,
Pointsman, Playboy, Sentinel,
M1rth and Merriment an Music-friends
that serv'd me long an we'll?
Ould they're CROWN, too, the darlin s,
droppin' out as time goes on,
Evry one with gallant record, ev'ry one
with work well done,
Not a ling rer ould an lonely like the one
that's waiting here,
Strainin' with dim eyes to see them
sweepin' down the hillslopes clear.
Would but once again. once only, I could
ride into the wind
With a gallant fox before me an the
plungin' field behind,
Would once more. all else forgotten,
achin limbs an falt'rin' breath,
I might ride my nfes last hunt out,
racing gladly on to Death.
Pail Mall Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
No wing Ihing in sing Sing.

Warden John s. Kennedy was max
ing the rounds of Sing Sing prison
when he was told that convict want
ed to see him.
What can 7 do for you. my boy ?"
asked the kind-hearted warden
Mr.. Kennedy" said the convict,
solemnly. before I got here I was
working on a very important invention
of mine. l would like your permission
to complete the job. II would not only
prove of great benefit to the entire
community but it would also be a very
great thing for me. 1t would take me
about four weeks to do it,"
What kind of an invention is it2X
asked the warden
IAN aeroplane," replied the prisoner.
Much to the sorrow OF the 1900
prisoners. there will be no flying
around Sing Sing.=New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


IFrom the Chicago News.l
Many an early bird has been taken in
by an early cat
a pretty girl who remains single must
be a matchless beauty
The best way to get rid OF SANDER is to
let it starve to death.
It's awfully hard for the average man
to keep his advice to himself.
About two-thirds of the letters written
represent a waste of time
Many a woman has old hat on Ter
head and a new one on her mind
Anyway the love of a man for q woman
seldom interferes with his appetite
No Cordelia, girl isn't necessarily
bird Just because she is pigeon toed-
Some people never learn anything be-
cause they begin by thinking they know
it all.
VIII the 1912 leap year girl come around
in an aeroplane and implore the young
man to fly with her?
A woman may think she knows a man
like a book but after marrying him she
is apt to discover a few more volumes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
FROM OTHER PENS
ALONG THE RIO GRANDE.

ALONG THE RIO GRANDE.
The United States authorities are doing
along the Mexican border exactly what
they tried to do a year ago III greater
success has crowned their more recent
efforts. it is because experience Is a great
teacher
Within the past year Uncle Sam has
been impressed with the fact that self
interest, as well duty. urges the
prompt suppression of any and all plot
ters who would use this country as a
base Of operations against the Mexican
government. 1t Is not especially impor-
tant to Americans who rules in Mexico
City whether il be Madero or Reyes or
some one else. That is a question the
MeXicans must determine for themselves.
But 1t is vitality important 10 as that the
border be not again made the scene OF
sanguinary encounters. imperiling the
lives and property OF American citizens.
If those who have been driven from
power in Mexico must have another revo-
luton let them do their plotting and pro-
noting elsewhere than on American soil.
And If there must be more fighting let II
be somewhere else than on the interna-
tional boundary line.-Cincinnau Times
Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
KANSAS COAAEET
YouR cHRIaTMAs pRuNK.

''vamoose the foggy feeling; let the
youthful corpuscles circulate; inoculate
your system with Joy Gcrms-once u
never more" is the first paragraph OF "A
letter that was received by many Fort
Scott men today. II was an invitation
from a Louisville, Ky. distillery TO pay
that distillery some two or three dollars
to get on a good Christmas drunk
Talk about using the mails to defraudi
All that Fred Warren's Appeal TO Rea-
son ever could say along the line 81 is
fighting couldn't do as much harm IN
lifetime as one batch OF such letters
Uncle Sam seems delighted to carry In
the malls to tempt and wreck the lives OF
young men and to cause suffering and
misery and privation and heartaches and
brutal beatings of women and children
Fort Scott Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
.AYHAWKER JOTS

Some peoples only idea of music,
says Mack Gretchen, seems to be to the
toot of their own horns.
Why is it. asks the Osborne Farmer,
that so many men never discover the
great evils under which the country
is suffering until they want to be elect
ed to office?
For enterprise in endeavoring to
provide it's readers with all the news
the Girard Press is in a class by itself.
1t has obtained the services of a cor
respondent at the county JAIL
Some happy philosophy, but of the
rather impossible sort. from casa
way the Gas Gulch correspondent of
the Wilson County Citizens: IF you
are not wealthy yourself, be glad that
somebody else is
According to the idea of the editor
of the Alton Empire, about the pref
test words in the English language are
the following: We'll, you might look
up my subscription. I always try to
keep square with the printer"
1t doesn't take a very observing
person to notice that fewer automo-
blasts than horses. If every machine
is housed and blanketed why should
not every horse be ?=HiaWatha World.
A man called at a Belleville clothing
store one day last week, relates the
Bellevi1le Telescope, and purchased an
ordinary boys suit. He asked the
clothing dealer if he could not throw
in hat-which the dealer could not,
on account of the close margin of pro-
fit; the customer then asked if he could
not throw in a pair of suspenuers. Re
ply was the same. Seeing q fine pat
ing dealer if he could not throw that
in. That" said the merchant, lis a
part of the store fixtures, and we can
hardly get along without it
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
HUN4OR OF TEE DAY

Those two women always greet each
other with the most effusive cordiality"
Yes replied Miss Cayenne. Each takes
pride in showing the other how artistical-
" she can conceal her real feelings
Washington Star.
The schoolInaster-Now how was II
that this great discovery made by Column
bus was not fully appreciated until many
years after his DEATH The Up-to-dats
Scholar-Because he didn't advertise, air.
The Sketch
Look at the team New York has New
York is no zap town" do not sheer a.
smaller towns, my friend. The New Yor-
team is composed Of young men from
Ierre Haute. Warren. Syracuse. Toledo
Little Rock kanicakee, Ypsilanti, South
Bend and Waco "-Pfttsburg Post. N
MIS- Quackenness-Arn 20 daughtar han
PLY mar d, Sistah Sagg2 Mrs. SagE-sha
sho' is Bless goodness. she's done got \
husband OATS skeered to death OF herr
Western Christian Advocate.
Mother to future son-in-IaW)-T MAJ.
tell you, that though my daughter is Vel
educated. she cannot cook. Future Son
in-Law-That doesn't matter much ",
long as she doesn't try.-F1iegende Riacf-
ter. -@-.-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
by THE WY
By HARVEY PARSONS.

Both Mrs. Taft and Mrs. LaFollette
have favored the newspapers with a
list OF 80 greatest women" They
got together on eight out OF the 20,
but Mrs. LaFollette put over good
one by naming Nancy Hanks, who, be
it remembered, produced president
Threats are being made to send Bee
Adams, jointist, to the penitentiary
because he so far forgot himself as
to sell booze a second time. Bee Ad-
ans is the colored gentleman, who, a
Few years ago. made four noble efforts
SIS for shooting within the city linn
it's.
The male shopper" is the limit; the
only good thing to be said of him IS
that he is few.
Suffragettea batted Dave Lloyd
George in the eye with a brick bat.
expended, the suffragettes are liable
at any time to put on some real rough
stuff in their attempt to convert Dave.
The Shooting show girls are going
to sue Stokes; probably on the
grounds that he is so blamed tough
that a poor woiking goi1 has no chance
unless she goes to the expense of pur-
chasing four-pound cannon.
Wichita is thinking seriously of
having a ball team; however, the deal
will not be closed until w. Roscoe
Stubs, patron saint of the Beerless
Princess, has been consulted in the
matter
1t may be hard for rich man to
enter the kingdom of Heaven, but 1t
is a dangsight harder for poor man
to keep out of jail.
And, although faith may move
mountain, as alleged, it doesn't have
much effect on Wart.
A man may claim publicly that his
wife is a jewel, and yet hold the pri-
vate opinion that she must be an opal.
The freedom of the city is always
rendered a distinguished visitor, but
every man has it while his wife is
away on g visit
A woman can't raise a moustache,
but unless her skin is too tight she
can raise her eyebrows.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
DAFFYDHS
BY U. NoALL.

When people go masked to a ball
does the domino?
tAin't he the fussy fellow with his
wife-)
If the meat is tough does the restau-
rant2
(Nix! Things are not what they
seen1-especialIy hash.)
If the mandolin had the right pitch
would the guitar2
((And many a crime is committed
under the guise Of music.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-19
REFLECTIONS or A BACHELOR,

TFrom the New York Press.
A poor digestion is q heap more worry
to anybody than a bad conscience.
If men could understand why a woman
acts the way she does she wouldn't do it.
a girl isn't afraid when she takes a nap
in train of talking in her sleep, but of
snoring.
As soon as a man gets up a little bit In
the world he despises those who are
where he came from.
A man nearly always thinks his good
appetite is because his advice to his wife
about running the house is SO valuable