The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-08-17

lOlu udL III ne ScuuS uIl UUN IlO Willtu
peas he Will lose de rich mans trade.
DE rich man don't have to worry
about coal an taxes. He don't have
10 watch fur bargain sales TO git a
suit of clothes. He kin buy ten pairs
of shoestrings at once. au' he needn't
worry about de street cur conductor
beatin' him out of Il nickel. lie owns
hosses. an he keeps servants. an he
am de big man when Fourth Of July
comes round. Applause, during which
Samuel Shinn broke II pane of glass
with his elbow and was led out of the
hail between Antimony Tyler and
Kurnel Cabin.l
You applaud now, my frens. but
wait mint You have sawn only
one side of de picture. From de mint
man gifts rich dc book agents are
arter him. Everybody who has ever
bowed TO him wants to borry SO De
grocer beats him. de butcher swlndles
him. and de policeman on dat beat
stands in wild his cook an Is furnish
cd wild all de lemon pie he kin devour.
De rich man am game fur all. He
has got to go to church cherry Sunday
no matter how good de iishin' am, an
when he's dar he's got to sot up in
front wbar eberybody kin see de wrin-
kles in dc back of his coat.
Troubles of the Wealthy.
How often do you suppose de rich
man has billed dinner? Not once a
xysa In hu
katosh in his circle. Did you cher see
a rich man sittin' on dc top rail o.
fence catin raw turnip? Nebber In
yo'r life. Hes got to sOt down on n
stuffed chair Mt home an eat oranges.
Has rich man got hog pen In his
back yard. whar he kin go out an
scratch de back of hog wild II stick
and chuckle wild pleasure? Kin n r,clI
man sot around de grocery in de even
In In his shirt sleeves or dare drink
his 'lasses out o II jugy DO you cher
hear o. his gwlne flshn' or skatin' or
of arter huckleberries? Not ON your
life! Tremendous applause.l
".All de rich man III do am to be
rich an hnv 80 o. trubjlc. He's
got to eat what he don't like, dress
as he don't want to and hang around
de Waldorf Astoria when he'd II heap
rather he out on de common playin'
ball wild de boys. His wife is arter
him all de time fur mo- dimuns, his
boys am runnin' around an murryin
chorus gals. aud his daughters an.
cryin' to 20 TO Europe an buy out
Switzerland. lGroans and sympathy
Rich Men Want to De Poor.
II has knowed as many as seben
rich men in my time, an has had
private talks wild dem all. When dey
found dat l was Junius Jupiter John
son Of Jackson dey just talked to me
in confidence. Ebery one of dose
seben men told me dat he'd glib his
old butes to be IA pore an happy man
ag'in. Dey couldn't eben glib delr
money away an be pore like de rest
o. US. DER wives wouldn't let 'cm do
it. Dey had to keep right on bein'
rich an havin' trubbe day in nm day
out. an It will not surprise you to
hear dat dey all died befo' dcir time.
"AIy dear frens. don't sigh to be
rich. Don't plan an scheme fur
wealth. Don't envy de millyonalre.
Dar's hosses an carriages in bein'
rich, but what's do use o hosscs an
carriages when you kin ride on
street kyarf | hab summed 1t up an
6ggered It out, an I'm tellin' you dat
de man who am libbln in cottage
an ~enrin' one shirt all de week
through am happier dan de millyon.
aire.
III did not come heah 10 make any
dlsrended remarks, but simply io sow
few seeds by de waysldc l,enain
pore an happy. liclnaln pore an re-
spectacle. When you take from n
man de privilege uf sittin' ON his
donhsleps In his shirt sleeves. wild m
old hen cacklin 90 one side o. him an
II pig gruntin' on de o1der, dc dawg
yin' IN dc sun an de chil'en rnllln' on
dc grass. you hnb io1.en away hap
piness dat poney can't replace.
Thankln' you fnr your kird desidern-
shun. will now make my low I'm
sny rood night lrewlilr applause.l