davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
BeIIbOY Ethics.

Jones had passed weary night, say;
London Answers. The strange hoteI
bed, the passing trains, the midnight
cats and morning cocks had all con
tributed to his restlessness, and it was
not until 1880 o'clock that he fell into
his first really comfortable doze
Bang! Bang!
He thought that the Germans werl
upon him. But he awoke to find tina.
it was only the boots" rapping at his
door.
''Well, what is it?" he grumbled
"A telegram, sir" replied the boots,
in breathless tones. "Wiu you open the
door, sir?'
Certainly not" exclaimed Jones
GROSSLY. He was by no means enxious
to leave his sheltering sheets. slip it
under the door, my boy"
Il can't do that, sir, replied the
boots, anxiously, It's on a tray"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
! y y y y y y y \ y y y y \ 4 y y
= Matrimonial Catechism for =
y "Bride." =

+++% y y \ \ y y
y Matrimonial Catechism for =
y "Brlde." =
~ y + y 4 4 + y \
What is marriage?
Marriage is an institution for the
blind
Why do some people never marry?
Because they do not believe in d.
vorce.
When a man seriously thinks of
marriage, what happens?
He remains single
Should a man marry girl for her
money?
No, but he should not let her be an
old maid just because she is rich.
When a girl refers to sad court
ship" what does she mean?
She means that the man got away.
Is an engagement as good as a
marriage?
It's better.
In selecting a husband, why does
a girl prefer fat man?
Because a fat man finds it hard TO
stoop to anything low.
When asking papa, how should q
young man act?
He should face pap manfully and
never give him a chance at his back
When the minister says: DO you
take this woman for better or for
worse - what does he mean
The bridegrooms people construe 1t
one way and the brides family inter
pref it another. 1t is very sad.
When a man says he can manage his
wife. what does he mean?
He means he can make her do any
thing she wants to.
When a child is smart and good, to
whose family is it due?
To its mothers
When a child is bad and stupid, 10
whose family is it due?
We refuse to answer.
Is it possible for a married man to
be fool without knowing it?
Not if his wife is alive.-United
Presbyterian.
This would be an excellent game to
play at a bridal shower. Cut it out.
please, and file it for future use.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
1t Was Fortunate.

cleveland Plain Dealer)
Rembrandt and Michaelangelo We're
playing checkers under a spreading
tree in the golden sunlight of the Ely
sian Fields
The famous Italian looked up.
Kenny" he said, did you notice
the price somebody has just paid for
that mill of yours?"
81 heard about ii"
'Well?"
well, I'm glad l had enough money
when painted that picture to buy {
good quality of canvas. It's your move
Mike"
And the game went on.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
Why They Applauded.
(Kansas City Journal.)

(hdnSdS lily JOuFNdI.J
Charlie Shukers, the new member of
the State Board of Control, addressed
the students at the deaf and dumb
school at Olathe the other day. The
interpreter didn't treat Shukefs as he
did Henry J. Allen, a former member
Of the board, when he made a speech
Henry rambled along in his usual en-
pertaining fashion and frequently re-
ceiyed applause
We'll, I seemed to please the stu
dents, all right" said he to the inter-
pretor afterward.
Eyes, they enjoyed it very much,
replied the Interpreter.
But I wish you would explain why
they frequently applauded at mop
perfume times said Henry.
That's easy" replied the interpre-
ter. you made one speech and I deliv-
cred them another"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
The Easter Elephant.

Judge Ben B. Lindsey, defending wo-
mans suffrage at Albany, said of an
opponent:
He objects because he misunder-
stands His description of woman's
suffrage is about as wise and accurate
as the little boys description of the
Easter circus elephant.
This little boy, seeing an elephant
for the first time on Easter Monday
shouted:
"Oh, pop, look at the big COW with
her horns in her mouth eating hay
with her tailn"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
FOR SALE.

Forty five horse engine, one fifty
horse boiler; one eighty saw Eagle
gin; Murray system feeder and con-
denser and elevator; one cotton press,
seed conVeyors, ETC., for sale at one
fourth their cost. Same has been used
very little, and comprise a first-class
ginning outfit.
Write or call on
w. NJ. HARPER, Agent,
Americas, Ga.
su-W&fr-tf
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
Americas, Ga, June IL, 1911.

@A%+% y y y y y y \ \ = y
y MUSIC AND THE W0MAN-S0UL =
= y y y y y y y = = y =
(Stephen Phillips, in the Westminster
GaZette.)
All London in dim and hurry streams
Beside my door; but l.
Cushioned in comfortable ease,
Repine in apathy
And flower and plant upon me pail;
Pals 10 the written page;
The soundless and the sumptuous life
The splendor of the cage.
Death may some brilliant lightning
fash,
Some waking thunder roll;
But ali! 1 waste in dreadful calm,
And starve through all my soul.
Only by music am | freed,
In melody find wings;
No written word of poetry
The mighty spaces brings.
The Sirius far behind me lies,
The sun is long outsoared;
The universe is but a sound,
Creation but a chord,
Here can I find my only fight,
Tread where Beethoven trod;
So am | raised, so am / rapt
And lose myself in God!
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
A PrecautiOn.

Those citizens of Milwaukee who
are of German extraction, like many OF
their fellow-countrymen elsewhere,
greatly esteem sauerkraut as a food
staple On one occasion a Milwaukee
German was speaking of the high price
of cabbage. Il dell you" said he, desc
cabbages is awful in brice dis year, ME
und wife puts up six, sevene, eight bar
reils of sauerkraut every year-but We
can't DIS year. Dem cabbages dey cost
too much"
You put u psome sauerkraut, Hans,
idn't you?" asked a friend.
ooh, yes-two or three barrels, may
be-just to hat in de house in case of
Brooklyn Life.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
~ACkN0WLEDGED WITH
THANKS.

To each and every person who has
helped 10 make The Times-Recorder's
Subscription Contest a success, the
management extends its heartiest
thanks. That includes an enormous
number OF people, too. for it seems
that every one in Americas. Sumter
county and this entire section has
aided the enterprise in some way,
The contest has closed and tie
prizes have been awarded. Not every
contestant could win a prize. for in
the nature Of circumstances that was
not possible. We congratulate and
thank the prize winners for their SPLEEN
did efforts in behalf of the paper. We
also thonk most gratefully every cor
testant, for each one OF them did ax-
cellent work.
With such a high standard set IS
that which has existed in The Times
Recorder contest, it was a pleasure TO
conduct an enterprise of that kind.
Every contestant has been thoughtful
and considerate, so that the greatest
harmony and good spirit has prevail
ed all the time The support that has
been given the contestants by the pub
lie generally has been hearty and
widespread.
Al first glance one might think that
the contestants themselves have been
the chief factors in the great success
of the contest They have, indeed,
made it's success assured, as no such
splendid results would have been pos
sible without their generous work.
But back of them have been the sub
scribers and the innumerable friends,
both old and young, who by their SYM
pathy and assistance have made pos
sible the big results achieved by the
contestants. Not only to the contest
ants, but to every one who has aided
them, and The Times-Recorder, are we
grateful for their past aid and the
aid which we feel sure each will &C
cord the management in the future.
II requires such fine cooperation
and spirit of mutual helpfulness 20
make any paper a success, and surely
no paper in Georgia has wider cir
Gle of loyal friends in its field than
has The Times-Recorder. The con-
test was inaugurated in order that an
opportunity might be given to the peo-
pie of this section to aid in increas-
ling our subscription list, and in max
ing the paper a still better one. Thu
results are such as give the greatest
satisfaction to the management and its
host of friends,
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
Worse and Worse.

Apropose Of the failure of the re-
formers to make Reno divorce a little
less easy, y. C. Goodwin said the other
day
Reno, instead of improving, is get
ting worse and worse. l understand
that the Reno divines are taking Up
law on the side. One or two divines
sport signs on their front doors that
say:
Cash marriages, 81 up. Come one,
come ALL
Divorce our speciality. Record
terms and time"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
Every Morning Except Monday.

All Subscriptions Payable in Ad-
vance.
Advertising Rates promptly furnish
ed upon application.
All advertising copy requiring two
columns Of space or less should be IN
the business Office not later than noon
of day prior TO date OF issue in order
to insure its prompt insertion. All
copy for space Of more than two col
umns should be submitted not later
than 6 o'clock Of the day, two days
prior to date Of issue.
Memorial Resolutions, Resolutions
Of Respect, Obituary Notices, etc,
other than those which the paper may
deem proper 70 publish as news mat
ter. will be charged for at the rate OF
3 cents per line.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

The Savannah Press, which is a
strong Smith organ, is giving good
deal of attention to the suggestion
that if Goyernor-elect Smith wins the
senatorial fight Governor Brown
should be reelected. The Press, like
a great many other papers in all
sections Of the state, irrespective of
their lineup in the past campaigns,
seem to like the idea. There is no
doubt that it would do more to de-
stroy factionahsm and res ore peace
and harmony in Georgia than anything
that could happen.-Dawson News.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
He Did as He Was Told.

Lord GLASGOW was travelling by rail
in Scotland one day, and rendered a
''fiver' to the booking clerk for a tick
let, says the Argonaut.
"Put your name on it." the youth
said
Lord Glasgow endorsed it Glasgow
as requested and handed the note back.
Here the clerk cried, 4 want to
know who you are, and not where you
are going"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
Happiest Girl in Lincoln.

A Lincoln, Neb., girl writes, 4 had
been ailing for some time with chronic
constipation and stomach trouble.
began taking Chamberlains Stomach
and Liver Tablets and in three days l
was able to be up and got better right
along. I am the proudest girl in Lin
coin to find such a good medicine" Fer
sale BY all dealers.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

The Macon News is seeking to arouse
a sentiment that will erect a monu-
ment 10 Sidney Lanier. Lanier has
an undying monument in his poems
But a stone or bronze memorial would
not be amiss.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

DR.. Wiley now points out the danger
in ice water. Won't somebody please
hide DR.. Wiley for a short time and
give the public breathing spell Cal
amity howlers are out of place in the
summer
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

Is Roosevelt a Christian? Teddy
says if a man slaps your face give him
& stiff belt in the jaw and then reach
for his solar pleXus as he staggers
backward That's the kind of a peace
prophet he is.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

James R. Keene, at a recent celebra-
ton in Cedarhurst, said New York
broker, "once gave, in a dozen words,
the Wall street definition of a lamb.
"a lamb said Mr. Keene, is one
who invests first and Investigates af-
forwards.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

Postmaster Mitchell deserves that
raise in salary He has made good
P. N. for Americas and it is a pleasure
to see the business of the Office in
creasing so as to insure him larga r
pay from time to time
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

The people of Georgia are appreciat-
ing what small peach crop means
now A year ago the fruit was abund-
ant and reasonably cheap To-day
peaches are high and scarce. Mouths
water in vain this summer for the
juiciest and best of all Georgia's pro-
ducts.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
ClaShing Interests.
Washington Starr

washington Starr
What We want is economy" said
one statesman.
4 though you wanted approprla-
tions, replied the other.
81 want both; economy for your
constituents and appropriations for
mine"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

The Dalton News says the voice Of
Tom Watson is getting fainter and
fainter. Bryan and Watson once ran
on the same national ticket together
Both voices are getting to have less
and less potency. There is, after all,
such thing as talking yourself to
political death.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
: \ \ y 4 \ ~ + y y = 4 + =
WEATHER FORECAST =

+ FURNISHED Daily by U. S. De- =
4 partment of Agricultural =
= Forecast for Americas and Vi y
= cinity: Generally fair. =
4 = \ 4 = 4 4 y 4 = = = = + =
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

Roosevelt is urging his friends not to
nominate him next year. Teddy doesn't
want to be the corpse at a Democratic
jubilee in November.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
Other AdiunctS.

What do they mean by luncheon a
.fresco? ?"
"A lunch served with caterpillars
instead of flies
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

An Atlanta man died at a ball
game. One of the members Of the
Atlanta team must have made run.
-Laurens County Herald.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
SOME
; MORNING SMILES.

MOKNIING SNiiLEO.
= = y = + = . . y = y y ,
She Answered.
'Meb,"
No answer.
"Maggie!" he called softly.
Complete silence.
"Madge!"
Not a sound.
Margaret"
Then he whistled softly before max
ing his final effort
Marguerite"
And a fute-like voice replied in the
distance:
Yes, darling ,"-Ti--Bits.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
; ADVANCE MADE ON
; READING NOTICES.
When Front Page Position is Re.
QueSted.

: When Front Page Position is Re- ,
q quested. a
= Beginning June l, rates on all =
y reading notices other than brief =
= two to three line notices, without =
+ a headline, will be advanced 80 =
= per cent. on the regular rates :
= when front or back page posi- =
= ton in The Times-Recorder is :
= requested. Under this new ar >
= rangement no reading notice =
= without a headline will be in =
y serted on the front page :
4 y 4 y \ y 4 = = 4 = = = = = =
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

Just because a woman has but little
to say is no sign she doesn't talk a lot.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

Absence of conscience is mythical
we all have something to worry us.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

By taking the hindmost the devil
gets most all of them.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

Women frequently go up in the air
when they jump at conclusions.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

The worst suffering a woman can
know is enforced silence.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

People who talk a great deal have
few real friends
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

It makes most any man feel honest
not to be in politics.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

Women want to be flattered; men
want to fatter themselves.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

Archipelagos of cloud,
Golden stranded Isles of Greece,
Hills and forests purple browed
Shipwrecked bales of golden fleece;
Attic heroes seem to ply
Through the wan, still sky.
Slowly spreads the rising food,
Tapping up the shining strand,
Choral groves, and fields of blood,
Climbing the hills of shadOwland;
So the lips of Lethe sweep
Greece into the deep.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
OFFICIAL ORGAN:

City of Americas.
Sumter County.
Webster County.
Railroad Commission of Georgia For
Third Congressional District.
Q. S. Court Southern District OF
Georgia.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17

Too often beauty is either so vain
or so insolvent that it is disgusting.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
The Shield.

Miss Grace strachan, president Of
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-06-17
y 4 \ y 4 y \ \ \ = y y y y \ + y
= A CLASSIC SKY. =

: = : : : : : : : : = : , = , 2
"a. W., in the London News)
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-07-21
THE DEATH OF A CAR.
ore~atts otssy ~ the Wy NIsAsias
Committed 4v1aids.

ors~atIs otssy ~ the Wy klshsiss l.
Committed 9v1aids.
There ar vayions stoyiAs Of the death
Of the Car Nicholas l. Here IL one
which the sriat singer Mario heard
from q doctor Of the court and which
n told In The Romance Of a Great
Singer"
When the Russian army was meet
lag with reverse after reverse in the
Crimean war the GEAR sent for hts doc
tor and dems nded to know which WAS
the quickest and most painless poison
that he knew Of, bluntly telling the
startled physician that he had re-
solved to commit suicide. He further
warned the doctor In the stern manner
which was his characteristic that II ne
were not obeyed the Doctors life would
be worthless. He sharply suenced the
mans nervous remonstrances and COM
handed him to bring the poison. The
doctor did not dare to refuse aud few
minutes later brought 4 small vial
containing the poison. which he as
sured the c1ar would Deprive any one
IT existence in 4 few minutes. To be
sure that he had been obeysd and that
the doctor was speaking the truth the
exaraobhged him to remain in the room
waxnanU htn- that II the poison failed
his ii1e should answer for 1t. The car
took the poison without the least tre-
NOR or the movement Of a muscle, aud.
although twice told by the doctor. who
held his watch In his hand. that there
WAS time to save him by an antidote
should he alter his mind. the car re-
fused. answering the second entreaty
BY simply waving the man away. he by
that time being unable to speak. 1t
vas given out that the csar had died
from the effects Of q sevexe chill. but
those who knew tie facts also knew
that he had committed suicide rather
than face the defeat Of his army"
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-07-21
Girl Fire Chief.

Port Tampa, Fla, is to be pro
tected from fire by brigade or
ganized and trained by the dau-
ghter of the late chief of the
Tampa Fire Department. This
girl, Maggie Harris, is said to
be the first girl in the United
States, and probably in the
world, to organize a fire depart
ment- About 40 men have
agreed to serve under her direc-
ton. She is drilling them accor-
ding to the rules and methods
of her late father.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-07-21
Escaped With His Life

"Twenty.ons years ago l faced an
awful DEATH" writes H B Hartiu, Port
Harrison, & q. Doctors said had
consumption and the dreadful cough I
had looked like 1t, sure enough. l
tried everything could hear Of. for
my cough, and vas under the treat
ment Of the bast doctor in Georgetown
8 c.. for over year, but could get no
rsliof. A friend advised me to try DR.
Kings Nav Discovery. l did 30 and
was completely cured. l feel that l
owe my life 10 this great throat and
lung cure" Its positively suarant ssd
for coughs, coda and I'll bronchial
affections. tOc and 81. Trial bottle
free ct w J Hedbsrry's.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-07-21
COLOR Ano SOUND.
eeuss vhee A. Ueeee~ 80 vs~ss Ykse
Az UOAoaSI

A. UshsseS.
The primary coioss shown IN the
suiabov vssy fsoo r~d ~ b,ss and
vSolst, anA Tie Vibrations % lsogths
a. IL ugAs waves that give ~ violet
erov shorter and shorter and ct length
sive - red. These vibrations can b
measured. One day. quite by chasce.
I came across the statement that there
were innumesabls light waves longer
than those which give violet. At once
tie epsstioa spsang. Were these loaser
WIVES represented b. coioes which We
Aeo't 80, eolosS for whirh We have no
name. colses Of vhich We csn form
no conreptjonf And va the same
thtne true Of tbe waves which. grow
lag shestsr and shorter. give ~ the
sensation OF rsAi There II room. Of
course, for myr1aAs Of colors beyond
this other sxtssmiGy Of our vision A
little study convinced me that my
guass was right, for all the colors
which We zee are represented to our
sense OF feeling in degrees Of heat;
t03S -, DUO SU3N D Oo0 AcoOInB Ou VIC
Thermometer and red . higher read
ing. and by means Of this new stand
ard discovered that mans range OF
vision - not even placed In the mid
die OF the register of heat, but occu-
pies q little space far up toward the
warmer extremity OF It. There are
Thousands Of degrees Of cold lower
than blue and hundreds Of degrees OF
heat shove red. All these gradations
are Aosb<isss represented by colors
which no human eye can perceive. no
human miad imagine. 1t u with sight
- With sound. We know now that
there are noises louder than thunder
which We cannot hear. the roar that
lies on the other side OF silence. We
men are poor restless prisoner. hem
med In BY our senses ~ by the walls
Of q cell, hearing only 4 part Of ma
lures orchestra and that part imper-
fectly: seeing only 4 thousandth part
Of the color mAxvsls about US and see
Ing that indniassinsAl part Incorrectly
and pa1oally.-Fosun-
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-07-21

A wagon passed through Kan
sas City few days ago with the
following sensational announce
ment scrawled in an astonishing
style Of art on the canvas cover:
"Chinchbugged in illinois, cy-
cloned in New Brasky, white cap
ped in indiana, bald knobbed in
Missouri, prohibited in Kansas,
OklahOmy or bust"
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-07-21
Happiest Girl in Lincoln.

A Lincoln. Neb., writes. Il had been
siling for some time with chronic con-
stipation and stomach trouble. be-
gan taking Chamberlain Stomach
and Liver Tablets and in three days l
was able to be up and got better right
along. am the proudest girl in Lin
coin to find such . good medicine.
For ssls by all dealers.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-07-21

No matter how much the an,
tbs may seek to muddy the wa
ters by talking about local self
government, persosxi liberty,
etc, the question Is nothing but
shall We do away with the sal
DON in Texas!" Keep this in
view and don't let Jake VOTERS
and his crowd throw sand In
your eyes.-Plainview News.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-07-21

Two Scotia one iolA and the ,other
young. set out snss Knight winter Sun.
day morning - walk ten miles to kirk
The sun shons .ssosiOusiy. The frozen
road rang UNDER tAeir feet. The cold.
pure air was A. sxAiiarating NJ wine.
The younger Scot booked up at the
glitteriny hlves sky and said:
Its 4 1nes day
The olDae NAN fvowned and an
svered
AYE. 4 y . kne day. but - this 4
1Ay to be talktng about dAyst"