davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
HE NEEDED NO INTERPRETER
Explosion Follows voIley Of Dialects
Hurled at Caran, Which Results
in His Discharge.

Joseph Caran, laborer tanned to the
color of the faded red undershirt he
was wearing, was arrested on tech
nical charge the other day, writes the
New York correspondent of the Gin
cinnati Times-Star, and taken before
Magistrate Vooheis. The magistrate
scanned the papers placed before him,
noted the mans name and observed
his makeup. Tell the court inter
prefer to come in" said he.
The court interpreter burst into
gargle of Sicilian when he beheld Car
an. Caran looked stupefied. The in
terpreter tried the Neapolitan dialect
on him. Caran shook his head. The
Interpreter tried Basque. half dozen
country dialects of Spanish, and some
low French on him. Caran began to
look indignant. The interpreter said
that it was no good. "Dees-a-man can
not understan' noting wat Heye can
spik. He mus be man fom one dem
little islands in da Mediterranean,
Were dey no speak good Italiano at
all-a," said the interpreter.
Caran listened with an air of grieved
surprise.
It's too bad" said Magistrate Voor-
heis. Take him back to the cells.
Well have to hold him until We find
some one who can make him under
stand"
"Fwhat the divvle," burst out Mr..
Caran, explosively. did yees t'ink I'm
a monkey, to understand fwhat this
chattering baboon here says to me?
| If yees can't talk United States in
this court, take me to wan where they
do. That's ahll."
Magistrate VOORHEES, looked silently
at Caran, took in his violently Latin
scenery, and compared ii with the
obviously Hibernian accents that
tumbled over each other on Caran's
lips. Then Mr.. VOORHEES, slipped him.
self giggle. discharged" said he.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
WEAKEST "eo TO THE WALL"
Universal Law of Nature for All
Species Is the Survival of
the Fittest.

TN community of foxes the most
cunning fox would survive; in a pack
of wolves the wiliest and strongest
wolf; while in community of ants.
those that had the least power of in
telligent cooperation would be the
first 10 become extinct. And it is
equally obvious that the interpreta-
tion OF the world selection must vary
in every grade of life, with every rise
in Observation-Disclosures being, in
normal circumstances, the prime fac
tor which determines selection. Our
garden roses would soon degenerate
were not the selective intelligence of
the gardener brought into play. Hence,
intelligence whether self-determining
or brought into play from without, is
obviously one of the conditions which
determine fitness. But there are even
higher determining conditions than in
telligence. for intelligence alone may
manifest itself in mere cunning. The
qualities Of prudence, temperance,
fidelity, sympathy, cooperation, self
sacrifice for common good-all these
are amongst the determining condi-
tions of fitness, for a people that has
these qualities will always be able to
hold its own against an imprudent,
Incorporate, unfaithful, unsympa-
thetic and selfish people.
Balmforth.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Name. for "eood Friday"

Perhaps no Christian festival has SO
many names as Good Friday. Our
Anglo-Saxon and Danish forefathers
called 1t Long Friday" in allusion
to the length of the days services and
fasting; in france it is Holy Friday"
in Germany either "Stiller Freitag"
Quiet Friday or "Charfreitag," in al
lusion perhaps to the exhibition Of the
crucifix for alteration after being
veiled all through Lent. In the Greek
church It has been known at various
times as THE Pascha OF the Cross"
"The Preparation. THE Redemption"
and THE Day OF the Cross" and to
these names the Latins have added
THE Day Of the Lords Passion" THE
Sixth Holy Day of the Pascha," and
many others. Good Friday" seems
to be peculiar to the English Ian
guage.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
SCIENTIFIC POINT CLEARED UP
Size OF Water Particles Now Known
to Change With the Age
Of Clouds.

1t seems rather singular to speak
OF the age of clouds"-of "old clouds"
and young Clouds" yet it really ap-
pears that such a distinction can be
made, and that the discovery, as SO
frequently happens in matters scien-
tific, was based upon preceding mis-
take.
The conclusion was reached years
ago in scientific quarters that the
density of cloud was proportioned to
the number of water particles it con-
tanned, the water particles, in turn,
depending upon the particles of dust
present. Later, however, these same
authorities ascertained that their first
conclusion was wrong, and that in
many clouds the density falls far short
OF proportionality with the number of
water PARTICLES. Further investiga-
tion points to the fact that the size
OF the water particles changes with
the "age" of the cloud The clouds
upon which the first observations were
made must, it is thought, have been
old clouds, and in them the water
particles, being comparatively large,
appeared to be proportional to the
density. But the later observations
were made upon newly-formed or
young clouds, in which the particles
were small in size.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
HOW PAPER CAME TO BE
A Wasp in a Garden Was Inspiration
to Nipponese Who Could Grasp
Opportunity.

Long years ago a Japanese walked
through his pretty garden to his home;
his hands were clasped behind his
back and he was thinking as he cross
ed the bridge to pluck fresh wiste-
ria blossom that hung just over his
head. This little gentleman had a
great many parcels to send out from
his shop every week, and he had al
ways wrapped them in silk; but this
was expensive material and he need
ed something cheaper for his purpose
All at once wasp came fitting to-
ward him, but he thrust 1t away that
1t might not nip his nose. and 10,
there at his hand was a wasp's nest,
1t was made OF thin wood pulp, soft
ened into thin paste by the jaws of
the insect, then formed and left
to dry.
why can't ! do that same thing?"
thought the Japanese merchant Get
certain wood, form 1t into pulp by
means Of water from the river and
make something like this wasp's nest
in consistency to wrap about my pack
ages" So this was the way paper was
nrst discovered: A wasp flew across
the path Of a man who walked one day
in vine-clad garden of old Japan
Rams Horn.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
CONFIDENT AS TO FUTURE
Negro Bridegroom Asked Parson Who
Performed Ceremony to Wait
Until the Bride Got a Job.

The pastor of large Baptist church
in neighboring city, whose congrega-
tion included many negroes, received
recently call from a young colored
man and woman on matrimony bent.
The man had been a shiftless person
and the woman was known as indus.
trious. The preacher noticed that tho
bridegroom was all spruced up and
concluded that the bride had made
proper member of society out of
him, SO he went ahead with the cere-
nony with good deal of satisfaction.
He had it in mind not to accept a
fee from these lowly members of his
flock, but the bridegroom, with
beaming face, handed over the usual
small envelope and departed with his
Dinah before the preacher could pro-
test. When the pastor opened the
envelope later he read this note:
Dear Pastor: l am sorry l cannot
pay you fee now for uniting me in
wedlock. but / spent all had on wed.
ding clothes. l will send you the
money just as soon as Dinah gets to
work again"
The preacher got fee later from a
very grateful Dinah, who seemed to
think it proper that she should pay,
and was overcome with surprise when
the fee was given back to her as a
wedding present.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Faith in Their Cause.

If they are thrice armed who have
their quarrel just, then ladies' tailors
must be the most righteous persons
who ever invited a lawsuit, for they
have confidence enough in their own
cause to employ women lawyers. At
a meeting of law school graduates
who have worked up lucrative prac-
tice, four women declared that their
first clients were tailors.
"A ladies' tailor who does good work
prefers woman lawyer" said one.
She has knowledge of clothes that
no mere man can ever hope to &C.
quire, and if the gown fought over is
halfway decent piece of workman
ship she will be able to convince q
judge and jury of its merits every
time. Then, there is something to BE-,
gained in the advertising line, alwa.> :
provided, of course, that the tailor ia
worthy of patronage, for the lawyer
will give him an order for her own
suit and recommend him to friends"
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
The Lesson.

Odd how you can pick up lesson in
something. no matter which way you
turn, or which conner you happen to
round on. says the New York Press.
The other day man who was TAX
ing his matutinal jaunt to the Eighty
first street station Of the elevated
found himself watching with SYM
pathetic interest a chunky bull pup
trotting valiantly down the street
with a dog biscuit held between his
teeth. The pups owner. walking slow.
ly in his wake. met his occasional
backward glance with an adamantinc
stare. Pup was being disciplined and
was showing his thoroughbredness
nobly. Incidentally he was teaching
everybody on the block lesson In
self.control.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Chocolate at First Disliked.

Chocolate was regarded as an in
vention of the devil by a considerable
class in England during the seven
tenth century. A formidable treatise
was written in order to denounce the
use of the beverage by monks. The
treatise appeared in 1924, but the
monks saw to it, by destroying every
copy that came their way. that its
circulation was small and brief. Choc-
olate houses succeeded coffee houses
IN London as centers of supposed
greater refinement, although Roger
North describes them as centers for
the benefit of "rooks and cullies Of
quality, where gaming is added to all
the rest" and where plots against
the state were hatched by idle fel-
lows.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Turn Evil Into Good.

Madagascar is visited every year
with n plague OF locusts, which does a
vast amount of damage to the crops,
but 1t is an Ill wind that blows no.
body good. and so these insects are
highly esteemed as food by the ma.
uves. The locusts fly within two or
three feet of the ground. and, on the
approach Of swarm. the people rush
out OF their huts and strike them
down with fiat baskets. Then the
women nnd children gather them ur
from the ground in sacks, where they
are divested Of wings and legs by q
severe shaking up. These extremities
are carefully winnowed out. the bodies
dried In the sun or fried in fat. and
then packed in sacks for food or sole
in the markets.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
About Thimbics.

The thimble was at first worn on
the thumb. and for that reason was
called thumb bell, which later be-
came thumble and finally thimble. 1t
was invented by the Dutch, and
brought to England In 1895.
The first thimbles were made OF
iron or brass; later came those OF sill
yer. gold. steel, horn, ivory. pearl and
glass. The Chinese make beautiful
thimbles of carved pearl, with gold
binding and ends.
One OF the most gorgeous thimbles
ever seen was bridal gift from the
king OF Siam to his queen; 1t was
made Of gold. shaped like lotus bud.
and was thickly studded with dia-
monds, arranged SO as to spell the
queens name.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
THE sAUCY YOUNG BRUTE
Prospective Mother-in-Law Didn't
Want to Lose Her Daughter, but
Why the Delay?

Mrs. DeGroff drew a deep sigh when
her daughter told her that she had be-
come engaged to Mr.. Bodies.
II suppose it's foolish of me to feel
so bad about it." she said, wiping her
eyes, but l can't help it. know it's a
woman's destiny to be married, dear,
and l have always hoped that you
would marry and be happy. But a
mother can never lose a daughter
without feeling deeply on the subject.
She can never help regarding it as an
awful loss-a tragedy She cannot give
up her little girl, even to the best man
that ever lived, without the deepest
reluctance"
But, mother, dear-I shall come
and see you often. And you mustn't
cry as If it were going to happen right
away. You will have time to get used
to it."
will I? How soon are you to be
married?"
Not for nearly a year. Bob thinks
that"
Not for a year? What on earth
does he mean by putting 1t of that
long? l don't believe he intends to
marry you at all, the smirking young
snip! If he did. he'd insist on having
the wedding before September And
shall tell him SO. You bring him to
time, Clara. You tell him that he'll
either marry you next month or never.
Huh! I'll show him!"
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Bargain Sale in Moving Pictures.

A suburban draper has hit on a
novel idea, says the London Chroni-
Gle. The scenes at his great bargain
sale are to be reproduced at local
picture theater. go and see it-see
II you can recognize yourself in the
crowd" To all his patrons the enter
prising shopkeeper issues tickets which
admit to the show at reduced prices.
VIII 1t answer? or course. For he
appeals to two human instincts-the
desire for bargain and the desire to
see oneself, as It were, in looking
glass-cheap. Why else does anyone
turn and glance at the reflections in
free looking glass? The shopkeep-
er appeals to the common meanness
and vanity Of his fellow mortals.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
How Franklin Learned Manners.

Franklin collected thirteen princi-
pies to cover the small amenities of
daily life. Each week he picked out
one and practiced it diligently, thus
creating habit. 1t took three months
10 cover them all. Each year he prac-
ticed each one four full weeks. He
kept this up for many years. The un-
couth Franklin of early manhood, who
found fault with his wife for giving
him silver spoon and china bowl
for his bread and milk instead of a
pewter spoon and earthenware crock,
developed into the statesman and man
of the world who won the respect of
Englishmen, the admiration of French.
men and the gratitude of Americans
Engineering Magazine.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Doctors Subscription.

Il been awful sick sence I seen yo',
Mis- Saunders" announced Reginald,
the colored man, who came to shake
Mrs. Saunders rugs the other day.
Seemed like / would die, sho. Ev'ry-
body was a-rec'mendin' dere fav'rite
medicine an done took all de dif'rent
kinds day tor me bout, but jes KEEP
on gettin wuss tell my wife. she say
to me: 'Wot yo' foolin' wifi dem rem
dies To-? Yo' don know wot's in 'em!
Go long an git de doctoh to sub.
scribe fo' yo'. So went to de doctoh
en- he give me a subscription dat cure
ne r-a-i-g-ht away"
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Friendship.

Some one once asked Kingsley
what was the secret of his strong, joy
Gus life, and he answered: Il had a
friend" If every evil man is a cen
ter of contagion, every good man is a
center of healing. He provides an en-
vironment in which others can see
God. Goodness creates an atmos-
phere for other souls to be good. 1t
is priestly garment that has vir-
tue even for the finger that touches it.
The earth has sweet souls and win
some lives, and Christ-like characters
to be found in it. The choice OF
friends IS, therefore, one of the most
serious affairs in life, Just because a
man becomes nodded into the likeness
of what he loves in his friend
Hugh Black.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
LIKED CONTACT WITH GOLD
Peculiar vagaries That Have Affected
Men Possessed Of Sudden and
Great Wealth.

A Partisan journalist who had spec
ulated in railway shares won 100000
francs as the result of lucky ven
ture. Drawing 1t in gold, he proceed
ed to a hotel. emptied the bags Of gold
in the bed and went to sleep liter
ally in the sands of Pactolus. The
man was SO crazed by his good for
tune that he found indescribable
pleasure in reveling in a golden bath.
Paganini, the violinist, when he re-
ceived the proceeds of his concerts
Che insisted upon being paid in gold),
used to wash his hands in sovereigns.
A French novelist, Soulie, wrote a
book called "The Memoirs of the
Devil" 1t was successful; the pub
fishers paid him for the first volume
$4,000 in gold. The author carried
the gold to his bedroom. poured it
into a foot bath, and enjoyed for half
feet to and fro in a bath of gold coins,
smoking meanwhile the biggest of
Havanas.
A Chicago merchant of great
wealth, believing certain symptoms in
dicated that he would become insane,
consulted a specialist and under his
advice became an inmate of a private
asylum. For twelve years there his
recreation was piling up gold coins
and then knocking them over. At
times he washed his hands in gold
eagles and half eagles. At the end of
the long seclusion he returned to his
business and in twelve months con-
firmed the thoroughness of his recov.
cry by amassing $500,000.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
THIS BRIDEGROOM SAT DOWN
Didn't See Why He Should stand
While the Bride PIishted Her
Troth at the Altar.

They strolled into the parsonage of
a suburban town in New Jersey and
asked to get married. They we're
from back in the country and both
seemed anxious to get the ceremony
over and done with and get back to
their work. Thrifty young people of
German blood, they were, with no
time to waste on foolishness.
The minister called in his wife and
servant to witness the ceremony and
proceeded promptly. He had the
couple stand before him, asked the
usual preliminary questions, and then
got from the bridegroom the pledge
that tied him for life to the bride.
He had just started with do you
take this man." when he was aston
ished to see the bridegroom walk over
to sofa and calmly sit down.
What do you mean by that?" asked
the minister. Don't you want to fin
ish the ceremony"
Sure" said the bridegroom. But
you're through with me. I've said my
part, and I'll sit here until she says
hers. I'm tired"
You'll come back here and stand
up until 1t is over" said the parson in
some heat.
The man got up and came back.
His bride had not minded his action
in the least. After they had gone the
minister spoke his mind:
"The woman is going to get the
worst of that matrimonial bargain"
And for once his wife agreed with
him.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
SURELY HAD KICK COMING
Conductors Words Must Have Made
Dark Clouds Settle Around
WouId-Be Passenger.

He was in an outlying part of the
Bronx. He had an important engage
ment in the lower part of Manhattan
and already he was late. Finally a
trolley car hove in sight and bore
rapidly down on him.
He signaled it, but in his dismay
the speed was not slackened. There
was second of anxious thought
should he or should he not jump ON
the car-the speed was great, but so
was the distance between cars.
And then came the back platform
OF the car, and he shot out his arm,
clutched the hand rail-and the next
instant he was standing on the plat
form, feeling as though his arm had
been yanked from its socket, but wear
ing self-satisfied smile.
The conductor, inside the car, pulled
the bell and the car stopped.
Hey! Get off Of here!" shouted the
conductor. This is a work car
New York Press.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Increase of KNOWLEDGE,

The mild-mannered man was %
well informed about past. present and
future dates of suffragists' meetings
that some one ventured the opinion
that his wife must be one of the CHIEF
supporters Of the cause.
You're away off there" said an>
other. That chap isn't even mar
ried. He's hotel clerk, and has to
add suffragist meetings TO his church.
theater and political calendar for the
benefit of women travellers. Out.of-
town women who want to be up with
the procession place those meetings at
the head of New York's attractions.
They haven't time to look up the
dates for themselves, so the accom-
modating clerks keep tabs for them"
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Worked TWO Ways.

He had sung several times during
the evening. and his friends had mur-
INJURED words Of praise, then escaped
as quickly as possible.
But as he was going homeward he
managed to catch one OF these self
same friends, and he insisted on a
truthful opinion.
You see," he explained. II don't
quite know how to take Miss Cuteon's
comment on my performances to-
night"
"No-reallyl Why-what did she
say?" asked the friend hopefully.
well. she said she'd heard Caruso
several times and thought his voice
was excellent, but she was quito GER
tain that mine was better still. New
York Mail.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Steam.kissed Oranges.

The anal ripening process in the
preparation OF California oranges for
the market is the exposure of the fruit
20 steam vapor, which imparts the
golden yellow color described on the
labels by sun kissed" and other ap-
petizing terms. Electric heat is en-
ployed to a large extent in producing
this steam vapor, electric immersion
coils in open tanks Of water in the
ripening rooms producing the warm
humidity required to give the fnal
tint TO the orange of commercially
etetic and Hygienic Gazette.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Live Without Water.

In Lower California large number
Of the smaller desert mammals never
drink water. according to American
scientists who have recently visited
the peninsula. They live and thrive
on dry seeds and scraps Of vegetation
in places where the heat and aridity
are excessive without ever touching
their lips to water, and 1t has even
found impossible to teach some Of
them to take water in captivity.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Really Interesting People.

Stevenson says he once sailed on
steamer which turned out to be a
ship with no style on, but with plenty
OF sailors to talk to. Plenty of
sailors to talk to" suggests most any.
thing but that you can always tell a
man by the company he keeps" The
great man loves to rub elbows with
what TOO often are unjustly called the
common people, people who live theii
own queer way regardless Of man.
made laws or the whims and edicts OF
society. The common people are the
only people who. wise or foolish, are
natural and interesting.
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Her Reason.

why did you lead me on to pro.
pose to you?" he asked, on the night
of the dance. why did you encour-
age me II you intended to refuse me?'
You do me a great injustice" she
answered. What have ever done TO
make you think that loved your
When. you danced with the other
men," he replied. you kept them at
arms length. But when you danced
with me you leaned on my shoulder
you almost let me carry you"
That was to keep my feet of the
floor SO that you wouldn't step on my
toes. You are very bum dancer
you know. Have you no other rea
sons?"
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Natural History.

why. SIR" said Mr.. Dustin Stax,
do you call me an amphibian?"
II refer to your method Of capitaii-
zation."
But have developed the resources
Of tho land"
"Yes. But when you get tired Of
the land you take to water"
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
Hard Words.

"There are some people know
ought to be made to eat their words"
I'm that case they would probably
have chronic indigestion"
Gilpin observer., 1911-11-02
His Reason.

Rogers-My love. fear you must
take to banting.
Mrs. Rogers-Why?
Rogers-I have already reduced all
my other exnenses -Harper's BaxaA
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-06-13


and win continue until the end OF the
month. weather permitting.
ON "Wednesday. June slst, the Ladies
Auxiliary OF the A. q. n. will give
their annual picnic All the different
branches i'm the county will partici-
pate. I'm tine afternoon. "A free exhibit
ton of moving pictures will be given
and in the evening the doors of the
pavilion win be thrown open to the
public for dancing. The G. a II. or
chestra win render music FOR the oc-
casion.
Saturday. June Path the odd Eel
lows of Calumet win give their annual
dance at the park and all the lodges Of
the county win be invited to partici-
pate.
ON Monday. June Goth. the Y NJ. G..
G. of 81. Joseph's church of Hancock
viii give a promenade.
Wednesday, June 2Sth, the Sacred
Heart high school Of Laurium win en-
terrain their friends at a promenade at
the park.