Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-04-27
RnQ coLt, AND GUARANTEED faN
F. B. CLARK, Druggist

men wouldn't have left dollar.
Il Uncle Hiram took another name an
in due time he arrived somewhere. H
found people who did not hesitate t
ask him why he made fool OF hin
self by dyeing his hair and whisker'
Indeed, he was an object Of suspicio
and was arrested. When he arrive
somewhere else he was taken for
man of sixty instead of fifty-three. Tn
tailor hadn't taken away that sto0r
and he walked with loose knees, as al
farmers do. Boys called after him Of
the street. In place of amusement h
saw woman whom he thought h
would like to make his wife. He wa
the dashing widower now. In the mids
of his gazing and thinking the woman
, turned on him with:
See here you old hundred-year-olt
manikin, you quit your staring or II
have you thrown out of here"
Uncle Hiram was dyed and padded
but he was deceiving nobody. People
offered to assist him up and down
steps and over rough places, and now
and then men appealed to him In re-
gard to dates of sixty or seventy years
ago. 1t was very often that children
called him grandpa, and he was eau
toned that such and such weather was
dangerous for an old man like him.
Uncle Hiram saw the elephant. He
saw him literally and theoretically.
He couldn't figure where he was better
off for SO doing. When he saw the AMI
NAL literally, the mahout cautioned
him against coming too near, as Behe-
moth seemed to have spite against
old men.
In one locality Uncle Hiram renewed
his hair-dye and started in to court q
widow. She shifted the dye and called
him an old fool and held the door open
for him to walk out In no one case was
any one deceived. In most cases he
was asked why his wife wasn't with
him, or how 1t came that man Of his
age was out in the easy west seeking
divorce.
If he would go into business many
inquiries would be made. II he tried
to buy farm he was asked when his
wife was coming on. When he got rid
of his dye and whiskers he was no bet
ter off, His speech was the speech of a
farmer who had got his education In
the little country school house.
Uncle Hiram had wandered about
and spent fifteen hundred Of his hard.
earned dollars before awakening to the
fact that he had made fool Of him.
self. What to do? As he asked himself
the question great longing came to
him. He tried to down 1t, but he
couldn't. Then feeling of remorse
came. He had been dog to abandon
his wife. He sat down and thought 1t
all over from the day they were wed
She wasn't SO gray-haired, but If she
was, what of it? She wasn't SO stopped
but If she was, what Of it? II her face
was wrinkled, what Of his?
Uncle Hiram did not spare himself
He administered kicks. He reviled the
man. He shed tears. And how to mend
matters He had had wife and home
for thirty years. He was now an out
law.
Back in the east was sad faced
woman waiting. Aunt Jane had rented
a little farm and was living all alone
The neighbors had commiscrated with
her. but to one and all she had said I:
Hiram will come back. am wait
ing here for him. He will remember
all that did for him as wife,
And one rainy night as she sat alone
with her knitting and her thoughts she
heard step at the door. The one who
knocked seemed timid.
Come in, Hiram"
The door opened slowly and theirs
stood Uncle Hiram, wet, bedraggled
and forlorn.
II was waiting for you," said the
wife.
''Do you mean-mean-"
She rose and gave him kiss and
then set chair for him. and said she
would have supper on the table In Just
minute.
"But-but"
IT told them you would come back,
You saw the light in the window"
I AHRAlr~ I