davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15
Kicked the Lightning.

Fourteen-year-oId Louise Hoelzer
went Ajax one better, for she not only
defied lightning, but she kicked it and
put it to rout. Her father, the Rev.
J. NJ. Hoelzer. says she did. and he is
q minister, pastor of Christ Evangeli-
cal Church, on Graham avenue, a man
of the highest standing and probity
His assertion is that g ball of fire,
after hitting the church. leaped into
the parsonage and into the kitchen,
where the minister's children had
taken refuge with their aunt. AS the
ball passed her Louise kicked it and it
broke into small sparks and did no
damage, not even to Louise. Louise
said that her action was instructive,
that she thought the ball would set
fire to the house, and that, without
thinking of anything else, she kick ed
at the object.
Mrs. Hoelzer was away a the time,
and the three children of the minis
ter's family, when the storm came up,
ran to the kitchen, where their moth
ers sister, Miss Esther Beck, was at
work They sat about listening to the
crashes of thunder.
Then came one that was deafening,
and the kitchen was filed with light
as the ball rolled across the floor
There is a mark on the wooden wains-
fuse had blown out there and there is
mark on the zinc covering of the
dish draining board, but no other
damage was done to the house. The
children were unhurt, except that Ed
ward, years old, was knocked or fell
from his chair in fright
The church adjoining the house was
less fortunate, for the spire was
struck and badly damaged and appar-
entity set on fire, but the fire was put
out by the rain. Residents of the
neighborhood say the bolt leaped from
the spire to the house, but there is no
mark on the house that csn be seem
Paterson IN. j., dispatch to Phila-
delphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15
XMAS COMMENT
FAT YEARS FORGOTTEN.

An Almena, Kan, dispatch yester-
DAY telling of somewhat disastrous
MOODS IN that region, reminds this re-
porter that he began his eventful
career in that vicinity in the days
When grass was shorter and rain
scarcer in that region than now. Also
ne nung around in those parts for
some time, which is the reason he
isn't willing to subscribe anything for
the flood sufferers. Not that they
aren't worthy, and even delightful
people. for they are. but they should
De willing to pay something for
novelty. In years that have passed
the writer has seen good many corn
crops out there, or prospects of corn
crops, dry up and blow away on the
wings of a hot wind, and never a one
noat away on the crest of a flood.
Not that they haven't had floods there
ne1ore. There was one back in 1891,
long remembered as the wettest year
IN that region, but rather welcome at
that, as 1t followed one rf the driest.
Bhe Prairie Dog river. which was I'M
able to handle the recent surplus of
precipitation to good advantage, went
on a rampage then, washed away
bridges, hay stacks and live stock in
considerable quantities. But following
that there was corn and everything
else IN abundance, inclullng weeds. In
fact, so prolific was nature that weeds
and corn did well togethe~. There was
FARMER who had out a big corn crop
when his family affairs became en-
tangled and he gathered himself hence
with thirty-eight calibre revolver,
taxing youthful daughter with him;
shocking tragedy which upset the
even tenor of peaceful community
Tor time. And the boys who should
have plowed the corn left for other
scenes. But the corn couldn't get
away, as much as the sunf1oWers tried
4. -
rains made good yield, although
gathering it was a lot like breaking q
trail through a MindanaO Jungle
So while 1t may be cause for regret
that the procrastnated prescription
wasn't better distributed as to time
and place, the disposition of those who
know that region is to believe that it
viii do more good thar harm in the
long run. Like Helen Texas. that
country needs more rain than it
needs anything else Not now,
of course, but as a general prop
osition. Given which, il will blossom
as the rose and the goose will be sus-
pended in an elevated Iosition. =. .
And, that he may not gather the I'M
enviable reputation of giving the land
of his nativity a black ey t, let the re-
porter add that there has been a good
| deal of the needed rain thera between
the flood Of 1891 and the food of 1911;
so much, indeed, that he saw on his
last visit there, no sod Louses or dug
outs-castles of the early days. In
their place rose modern residences,
with lighting and heating and water
plants in some. And on the highways
automobiles more common than lum-
Der wagons in the old days when peo-
pie were fewer and poor. A great
country, as is most of Kansas. even if,
at times, precipitation procrastinates
| too long.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15
QUAKER fluctuations.

LFrom the Philadelphia RecordJ
Many a big gun is a smooth bore
Every man has his price, subject to a
cash discount
s'They also serve who only stand and
wait, except at tennis.
Time has touched many q woman
lightly who used to be a brunette
Many a fellow who threatens TO blow
his brains out isn't really a COOL
enough shot.
If there is anything at all in a person
an ocean voyage will generally bring it
out.
The fellow who is elected from a
fashionable hotel isn't apt to boast
about his smart turnout.
Because girl is quite out of breath
is no reason why we should refer to her
as being in short pants.
Wigwag-'I believe he has put every
thing in his wife's name.' Cynicus-
Yes, even his happiness
"One-half the world doesn't know
how the other half lives,'' quoted the
Wise Guy. That's right" agreed the
Simple Mug Men are not so inouisi-
tive as women
I cannot conceal my heart" rhap-
sodized the pOetica1 maiden in the de-
coilete gown 80 1 see," replied tho
cynic, allowing his gaze to rest upon
her low corsage.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.l

[From the Atchison Globe.I
SO often the solemn promise de-
velops into joke.
Self-confidence is usually about 80
per cent bluff.
Men really ought to shave their
arms during warm weather
There isn't any use telling the con-
stable you don't owe the bill.
Applied by modern methods, a coat
of tan is apt to cost more than seal
skin.
About the only way to get people to
agree with you is to agree with them
Most of the diseases are bad enough
without translating them into Latin
or Welsh.
Neither would it be so bad if all the
insurgents confined their efforts to
politics.
We are also anxious to know if the
fiend who invented hooks and eyes
was ever apprehended.
Clerks may tell one customer out
of five what he wants, but should
listen to the other four.
While a COW may not have as much
sense as a dog. she is useful and gives
better variety of milk.
IF a man has plenty of matches. h
is pretty apt to run out of smoking
tobacco at a critical time.
If a man shows fear when his wife
sues for a divorce is he afraid she will
get away or get alimony?
Eyesight is a precious gift, and one
should not risk it by looking too long
at a bartender's diamond.
A country boys notion of the pima
Gle of prosperity is to own fifty dol
lar saddle with a silver horn.
One ought to find some simpler
way of provin ghis courage than by
fighting it out with a tough tornado.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15
COURTESY PAYS.

Strangers very often gain a favor
able or unfavorable impression of a
city by the way in which the citizens
of the latter answer their requests for
information as to the location of
streets or buildings. courteous re-
ply in which an attempt is made to
give the inquirer all the instruction
necessary for reac ning the desired des-
tination, inevitably dispCses him fav-
orably toward the city, whether he is
conscious of it or not. An Uncivil an
swer or the appearance of being an
noyed by the inquiry, anything that
has a tendency to make the Informal
ton appear to have been grudgingIy
given, just as inevitably makes him re-
gard the town unfavorably.-W inches-
ter Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15
HUEOR OF zHE D<Y

Chatty Ledger Ito landlord)-You seem
to have seen good deal. What are you?
11anolord-Well, sir, was lion tanner,
ana 1d De there now If L admit married.
But you see, my wife were a knife throw
er IN the same show, and she got to prac-
n Iicl her turn on me. Well, thinks I.
took up a safe job and become a
teeplejack.-Punch.
Harry-You do look nice in that frock.
GEAR put It cost me a heap of money
MRS. Harry-You dear old boy! What do
care for money when it's question Of
pleasing you?-London Opinion.
Marks--My old aunt had not been dead
tWenty-four hours when her parrot died,
TOO. Parks-The poor bird died of grief
7 SUPPOSE Marks-No poison.-Boston
o., I've We advertised for a reliable, careful
Yes, indeed. All the reckless daredeH5iIs
Press.
Il say, old boy, lend me an x.p ..vvo,15
| II could, dear chap, but there's an
algebraic difficulty in the way" what
Is it,? An X with me is an unknown
quantity. Pathfinder
Il got my hand stung by a sea nettle''
SAD the young girl Terrible; too bad
sisted on holding my hand all at once
Kansas City Journal
The orator spoke about the things he
had not said, the things he did not be-
ieve and the things he would not do.
That fellow" observed the sailor lis
talking at the rate of about thirty nots
an hour.''-Judge.
And what do you sailors do when you
get seaslck We goes to sea again,
mam."-Houston Post.
Are those boys over there going to en-
gage in belligerent activities?' Nom.
they're goin' to scrap."-Baltimore Amer
ican-
She says she would let her husband
go hungry before she would cook meal
for him. THAT is what call true love-
Houston Post.
If you want to make a living you have
to work for 1t, while if you want to get
rich, you must go about it in some other
Way.-Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Some men earn more than they get
but it's vice versa with many others.
y y .
It is also possible to feel the warm
weather without putting your fingers
on it.
What has become of the old-fashion-
ed girl who fastened her love letters
with sealing wax?
y
AS one of the linotype operators says:
Nothing matters much if you don t
make fuss about it.
y -
And the hot weather also plays such
havoc with tempers that the usual
peace of many a family is frequently
disturbed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15
FULL, LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF TILE ASSOCIATED PRESS
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State Journal
sway from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
~arh fav to aEiy address at the rate OF
zen cents a week or thirty cents q
month (by mail only. Address
changed as often as desired. While
OFT OF town the State Journal Will be
20 YOU like a daily letter from home.
Advance payment IS requested on
efese short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

An adjournment of congress is ex-
pected within the next ten days And
about the only redeeming feature of
the rather continuous session of con-
gress which has been going on for the
past couple of years is that it is max
ing the congressman come a trifle near
er earning their pay. Less new law
making and more enforcement of exist
ing laws is what the United States
really needs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
IFrom the New York Press.I

from the New ork Press
Flattery is its own sweet sauce.
Big men don't ever have to say so;
they act it.
Some people so get the habit of be-
ing in trouble they grow very home
sick without it.
Relying on sure thing is a good
description to teach a man to be pre-
pared for the unexpected.
Information to anybody that you
are making money is an invitation to
him to try to get it away from you.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

1--WE know the principles and methods
advocated by. the candidate recently
nominated and elected by the Repub-
Iicans Of this district" says the Re
publican committee of the Second con-
gressional district in a defense Of its
action in denying the voters Of the
diltrict primary for the nomination
of a successor to the late Alexander
Mitchell. But it would seem that know
ing the principles and methods advo-
Gated by Mr.. Mitchell, the committee
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

Plans for the construction of a
fine union depot and adequate rail-
road terminals at Wichita have been
tied up indefinitely by some protest
ing property owners. This is an ex-
cellent sample of the public-spirited-
ness that prevails in the Peerless
Princess Of the Plains; that lost the
same city its ball team, its library,
its annual fair and race meet. Watch
Wichita Win"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

If there was ary doubt that ]. Pier
pOnt Morgan is the financial king of
New York and therefore OF the country
it has certainly been removed by the
testimony that has been given before
the congressional committee investigat-
ing the steel trust.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

seems hysterical and pueriIe attacks
upon legitimate business methods. AL
admit that there are evils in cur indus
trial system to be cured, but legislative
sandbagging is not the proper cure.
Let us have a reasonable and quiet en-
forcement Of the law, instead Of hys-
terical attacks for the sake of political
and newspaper notorfety."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

is nonctheless disposed not to follow
them. Mr.. Mitchell would have been
the last man in the world to advocate
an arbitrary nomination for congress
in his district such as the committee
proposes to make. He was for honest
progress IN politics. The primary plan
is TIE base or which honest politics
are built
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

That independence. No. girl who bit
off part of her tongue ought to be sue
cessful in her hunt for some one who
will contribute the part of a tongue
needed to repair the break. Any num-
her of people seem to have all kinds
of tor que to spare.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

Bowling rather gracefully to the in
evitable the members of the British
House of Lords have submitted to de-
horning. Whatever constitutional
prerogatives they once had have been
taken away from them, except that
on gala occasions they can still wear
their crimson robes and coronets.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

Senator La Toilette will probably
take up the time of the senate with
a speech insisting that President Taft
also is stingy. The president received
a 104 pound melon from Texas the
other day. He wrote to the sender
that he was very much pleased with
the gift and would relish every bit
of it."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

Defend me from my friends was
the request of Marshal Villars when he
took leave of Louis XIV Senator
Bristow's amendment to the resolution
paving the way for the direct election
of United States senators was respon-
slble for killing this measure at the
nresent confessional session
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

There is nothing so strange in the
fact that certain of the United States
senators are vigorously opposed to the
general arbitration treaties with Eng
land and France. They're opposed to
everything which does not originate
IN their own narrow minds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

DR.. Wiley confesses that he doesn't
know what a mint julep is. 1t must be
remembered, though. that the point has
not yet been reached where this al
legged delectable decoction is placed on
promiscuous sale in bottles.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

Nor was it a difficult job for the
Washington Post to find Taft senti-
ment in Kansas. Not only is there
plenty of it. but it is increasing in
volume all the time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

It's a good thing for certain mem
bers Of the Topeka board of education
that the meetings of this board are
not held in Texas. They hanged a man
down there the other day for using
insulting language in the presence Of
a Woman
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

Thus does the cost of living keep
going higher and higher. The price
OF diamonds is continually increasing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

A negro prisoner in the city Jail has
discovered a method of getting out
that beats saving off bars. He broke
out with smallpox
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

When Togo got to Oyster Bay, Col.
Roosevelt came out in an immaculate
white vest" When a mcn comes out
like that, it's sure sign lis wife knew
the guest was coming.
We never had any faith in the doc
tor who advertises to treat patients
for drunkenness. 1t is our experience
that the oftener you treat a drunk, the
drunken he gets.
Awoman's favorite method of neg
lecting her children is to let them run
loose on the streets while she reads a
Mothers Club.
A negro prisoner in the city Jail has
discovered method of getting out
that beats saving off bars. He broke
out with smallpox.
A woman's favorite method of neg
born, we can't help wondering why.
Soon the theatrical season will open.
and then the end-seat hog. who has
been playing summer engagement on
the open street cars, will be on the
job early to scowl at you when you
try to crush into your inside seat.
Harper's Weekly prints the story Of
the origin of the dollar. but what most
of us are interested in is not the origin
or the ultimate resting place of the
dollar, but its next visiting place.
CONGRATULATIONS This de-
partment is going to spend a week in
the country. We will spend the week
only, having spent everything else in
town.
Hep
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

A woman's favorite method of neg
born" we can't help wondering why.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

Harry-You do look nice in that froclx
dear, but it cost me a heap of money
MIS-. Harry-You dear old boy, What dc
care for money when it's a Question ~
pleasing you?-London Opinion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

-aS1 hsCNIy olo aunt had not been dead
t teseiily lou, .Aour hours when her parrot died
~. lalhs-Ine poor bird died of grief
1,,a Sopp4se- marks-No potson.-BostoI
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

Are those boys over there going to en-.
gage in belligerent activities?'' Nom.
they're goin' to scrap."-Baltimore Amer
lean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

We advertised for a reliable careful
cnauIeur DO you expect to get one?''
I s' indeed All the reckless daredeviIs
seem to be employed. Detroit Frss
Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

And what do you sailors do when you
get seasick? We goes to sea again,
mam."-Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

say, old boy, lend me an X" ''Would
II could, dear chap, but there's an
algepralc DIFFICULTY in the way" What
quantity. Pathfinder. = " Il
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

The orator spoke about the things he
had not said, the things he did not be-
ieve and the things he would not do.
THAT fellow, observed the sailor lis
talking at the rate of about thirty nots
an hour.'-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

got my hand stung by a sea nettle. >"
said the young girl. Terrible; too bad"
It wasn't so bad. Four young men in
sisted on holding my hand all at once. -
Kansas City Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-15

''She says she would let her husband
go hungry before she would cook a meal
for him. THAT is what I call true love"
Houston Post.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1911-03-09
$3.50 RECIPE CURES
WEAK KIDNEYS, FREE
RELIEVES URINARY AND KIDNEY
TROUBLES, BAckAcHE, STRAIN
ING, SWELLING, ETC.
stops Pain In the Bladder, Kidneys
y and Back.

Wouldn't It be nice within a week or 80
10 begin to say goodbye forever to the
scalding, dribbling, straintng, or too fire.
quent passage Of urine; the forehead and
the back-of-the-head aches: the stitches
and pains in the baclk the growing mus
Gle weakness; spots before the eyes: yell
low skin: sluggish bowels; swollen eye
lids or ankles: leg cramps; unnatural
short breath: sleeplessness and the de-
spondency?
have a recipe for these troubles that
you can depend on, and II you want to
make QUICK RECOVERY. you ought
to write and get copy Of 1t. Many q
doctor would charge you $3.50 just for
writing this prescription. but I have It
and will be glad to send It to you entire-
~ free. Just drop me line like this:
DR.. A. Il. Robinson. K-2e2 Luck Building.
Detroit, Mich, and will send it by re-
turn mail in a plain envelope. As you will
see when you get IT. this recipe contains
only pure. harmless remedies, but 1t has
great healing and pain-conquering power.
It will quickly show its power once you
use It. 80 I think you had better see what
Il L. without delay. will send you q
copy free-you can use 1t and cure your
self at homo.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1911-03-09
AST0MISHED THE "oLD MANI
HE 'Rah 'Rah Son by No Means tho
"Dude" He Had Hitherto
Seemed to Be.

The new governor of western
state has two sons. One Is big and
husky like his father, but the other is
more slight; and at times he rather
vexes his father by his affection of
rah-'rah boy clothes and general air
bf lassitude and dudishness.
The two sons and the father were
IN the library one night and the name
IF a prizeflght referee came into the
conversation. The 'rah-'rah boy had
been sitting by, twiddling his thumbs.
but his ears pricked up at the mans
hame, and he drawled: II rather like
that chap. He's all right"
What do you know about him? -
the other brother asked, rather con-
temptuously.
ooh, he gave me a shade the best
Of It one night"
Gave you the best Of it," both
father and brother shouted.
Eyes; you see, fight under the
name Of Young Ryan and he counted
pretty slow one time when waa
down" Evening Post.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1911-03-09
An OrnithologicaI Pest.

The invasion of our shores by the
English startling is causing a great
deal OF comment in pathological cir
cles.
Have we another English sparrow
pest on our hands? people are every
where beginning to inquire. This is
a question which can hardly yet be
answered with certainty by direct
yes or no. The federal government Is
making careful scientific investiga-
tons and has not yet reported it's
decision. 1t is safe, however, to say
this, that the startling is liable to be-
come great pest and nuisance in
this country through pressure of num-
bers, though it has useful traits, and
is in some ways a beautiful and inter-
esting bird, far superior to the Eng
fish sparrow.
The sum and substance of the mat
ter, as far as we have gone al pres
ent, seems to be that if the startling
could remain in only moderate num-
bers in locality, it's presence would
not be particularly Objectionable, but
that if, after spreading out all over
the country it locally increases to
great numbers and immense tlocks, as
it gives every promise of doing, it
both to our useful native birds and to
griculture.-Herbert X. Job, in Out
ing.