davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
John Henry
NJ /TC
MAKES A
CHOICE
Bv GEORGE v. HOBART

comeback, I'D land on you good and
hard, that would. What else are you
here for, you fathead?"
'Fathead!" echoed Uncle Peter In
establishment
Peter leave her to me-" pleaded
Aunt Martha.
But Uncle Peter rushed blindly on
to destruction. "Elizabeth,." he said,
sternly, in view of your most unre-
fined and unladylike language it be.
hooves me to reprimand you severely.
l will, therefore,"
Then Lizzie and the pink parasol
struck Casey-at-the-bat pose, and cut
in: "G'wan away from me with your
dime novel talk or I'll place the back
Of me unladylike hand on your jowls!
"Peter!" warningly exclaimed the
perturbed Aunt Martha.
Eyes, Martha; you're right" the old
gentleman said, turning hastily. Il
must hurry and finish my speech Of
acceptance" and he faded away
1T isn't an easy matter to get
servants out here" Aunt Martha whis-
pered to us; Il must humor her.
Now, Lizzie, what's wrong?"
"You told me, mem, that l should
have a room with a southern ex-
posure," said the Queen of the Bunga-
low.
"And isn't the room as described?"
inquired Aunt Martha.
1.-THE room is all right, but don't
care for the exposure" said the Prin-
cess Of Porkchops.
well, what's wrong?" insisted my
patient auntie.
Sure, the room is 80 exposed,
mem, that every mosquito between
here and Long Island City flew in
there last night, mem, and almost
said the Baroness Bread-pudding, with
acrimony. I'm a cook, mem; I'm no
free lunch for passel of hungry mos
quitoes."
very we'll, Lizzie" said Aunt
Martha, sOOthingly; I'll have screens
put in the windows at once and a
netting over the bed"
"All right, men," said the Countess
Of Cornbeef, removing the lid, 'Ill
stay; but keep that husband Of yours
with the WOODY lingo out of the kitch-
en-, because I'm a nervous woman-I
am that" and then the Duchess Of
observation-disclosures got strangle-hold on
her grouchy grip and ducked for the
grub foundry
Aunt Martha sighed and went out
in the garden where Uncle Peter was
composing his first political speech.
Bunch" l said, this scene with
Her Highness of Grandmother ought
to be an awful warning to you. No
man should get married these days
unless he's sure his wife can juggle
the frying pan and take fall out of
an egg beaten. We've had IS cooks
in Is days, and every time a new face
comes in the kitchen the dumb
waiter screams with fright
"You can see where they've worn
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
Where Mushrooms Grow.

Shikoku island, Japan, is famous
for it's mushrooms as we'll as for it's
great camphor product. During the
year 1895 this little island shipped
1,700,797 pounds of mushrooms to
China and other countries. The
mushrooms are chiefly grown in oak
logs, which arec ut from trees over 25
years old. When the trees are cut
down incisions are made in the bark
at intervals of three to four inches.
The trunks are then cut into logs
four or five feet in length, and these
are distributed in dark parts of the
forest. After the logs have lain three
years mushrooms begin to grow
where the missions were made in the
bark. As fast as the mushrooms are
plucked new ones appear in their
places, and this continues till the log
is exhausted, when it is replaced by
new log. The mushrooms are
grown all the year round. For ship
ment they are dried hy the sun or by
artificial heat. Ii.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Seven of 'em?" inquired Bunch,
with grin.
"Yes," l said; seven of Rural
dene's most prominent citizens have
asked Uncle Peter to run for mayor"
is he game?"
rs he game!" chortled; why the
way he fell for 1t was pitiful The
moment the spokesman guy began to
heat the piazza with the steam-coated
language Uncle Peter did a hoodah,
and when they mentioned the word
mayor he went up in the air feet first
and began to bark at the scenery"
DO you think he'll be elected ?"
Bunch cut in.
It's moral" l answered. He'll
win hands down-ln the pockets-and
the odor Of burning money won't do
thing to the local atmosphere Say,
Bunch, l hate to see Uncle Peter go
up against the political ghost-dance at
his time Of life-and with all that
MACON! Why, as soon as the glad
tidings spread around that he was
overheard a flock Of ward-heelers hit
the lawn in front Of the villa and we
had to hide every pocketbook in the
house."
why don't you cure him." laughed
Bunch.
Nov don't pull that" l snapped.
The suggestion that we should cure
Uncle Peter Of race-trackitis came
from the coZy-corner in your upper
story which you are pleased to call
your brain, and what happened to us?
Nix, Bunch, I've resigned from the
Society for the Prevention of Cruelty
to Uncle Peters Bank Account. It's
my play to let him splash around in
the political mud baths till he cures
himself. Never again will l make up
for Rufus the Reformer and stand be-
tween Uncle Peter and the red lights.
It's up to him if he wants to take the
weights off the lid"
What ticket is he on?" asked
Bunch.
III give you eight guesses," I an
swered From the line of talk the
old man hands out I'm afraid it must
be mileage ticket"
We'll, who's running against him? ?"
Bunch insisted.
You can search me-" / said. Il
don't believe the opposition can find
anyone with roll big enough to stand
the pressure. It's a mighty fat wad
that doesn't feel ashamed of itself
when it stacks up to Uncle Peters
rake of. When's the wedding, Bunch ?"
"Oh. Uncle William Gray has put it
of another year," sighed Bunch. HE
says l have yet to demonstrate my
ability as a business man, and he
won't listen to any argument. I've
talked 1t all over with Alice and we
think seriously Of eloping"
Before l could hand Bunch the SYM
pathetic mitt Aunt Martha came bust
ling out on the veranda followed by
Uncle Peter. who, in turn, was fol-
lowed by Lizzie Joyce, our newest and
latest cook
Lizzie wore q new lid, trimmed with
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
Mayor.

a new trail through the grass on the
retreat to the depot.
Its an awful thing, Bunch! My
palate Is weak from sampling different
styles of mashed potatoes.
1--WE had one last week who an
swered roll call when you yelled
Phyllis.
Isn't that peach of a handle for
kitchen queen with map like Man.
churia on dark night?
She came to us we'll recommended.
by herself, and said she knew how to
cook Backwards
I'VE believed her after the first
meal. because that's how she cooked
It.
Phyllis was very inventive girl.
She could cook anything on earth or
in the waters underneath the earth.
and she proved it by trying to mix
tenpenny nails with the baked beans.
when Phyllis found there was no
shredded oats in the house for break.
fast she changed the cover of the
washtub into sawdust and sprinkled it
with the whisk broom, chopped fine.
1T wasn't half bad breakfast food
| OF the homemade kind, but every time
l took drink of water the sawdust
used to float up in my throat and
tickle me.
"The first and only day she was
! with us Phyllis squandered two dol
lars worth of eggs trying to make a
lemon meringue pot pie.
She tried to be artistic with this.
but one of the eggs was old and nerv.
Gus and it slipped.
Uncle Peter asked Phyllis If she
could cook some Hungarian goulash,
and Phyllis screamed, No; my par.
ents have been Swedes all their lives!'
Then she ran him across the lawn
with the carving knife.
MY wife went in the kitchen to ask
what was for dinner and Phyllis got
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

onions and spaghetti, like a round
wind shield over her map; she had a
grouchy looking grip in one hand and
pink parasol with black freckles in
the other She was made up to catch
the first train that shifted into the
station
Aunt Martha greeted Bunch, and
then whispered plaintively, Lizzie
has been here only two days and this
makes the seventh time she has start
ed for town."
Busy Lizzie took the center of the
stage and scowled at her audience.
I'm takin' the next train for town,
menu" she announced, with consider
able bitterness.
Uncle Peter made brave effort to
scowl back at her, but she flashed her
lanterns at him and he fell back two
PAGES to the rear
What is 1t this time, Lizzie?" in
Quired Aunt Martha.
Lizzie put the grouchy grip down,
folded her arms. and said, "Oh, have
me grievances"
Uncle Henry sided up to Aunt
Martha, and said in a hoarse whisper,
MY dear, this shows a lack of firm
ness on your part. Now leave every
thing to me and let me settle this
obstreperous servant once and for
ALL"
Uncle Peter crossed over and got
in the limelight with Lizzie.
1T occurs to me-" he began In
polished accents, that this is an occa.
sion upon which l should publicly
point out to you the error of your
ways, and send you back to your hum
BILE station with better knowledge
of your status in this household"
"S'cat!" said Lizzie, and Uncle
Peter began to fish for his next line.
II want you to understand" he
went on, that pay you your wages!"
"suse, If you didn't" was Lizzie's
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
FIRST OF The WHEEL CRAZE
TX Began to Rage In United States az
Long Ago as Year 1862
Velocipedes First.

Mr.. Frank H. Vizetelly tells The
Story of the Wheel in St. Nicholas.
Mr.. Vizetelly says: The spring of 1869
found the wheel craze universal. Car
riage-builders were led to add to their
factories plants for the manufacture
ing of velocipedes. Over one thou
sand of these machines were turned
out every week, while orders were
pouring in by the tens of thousands.
To quote from a newspaper Of about
that time: LAS an indication of the
extent to which the manufacture of
velocipedes was carried on, it may be
mentioned that Mr.. Calvin Witty, the
purchaser of the Lallement patent, EN-.
ployed the resources of seven large
carriage-makers, and kept their estab-
lishments busy day and night. He had
seventy men at work in one establish
ment in New York, and he also kept
men actively employed in two fac
tories in Connecticut, one in Wash
ington, Del, and one in Newark N. j."
But few people had expected that
tie mania for this new style OF
wheeled vehicles would be so great.
Among the earliest who exhibited
their skill on the velocipede in public
were the Hanlon brothers. They used
a somewhat clumsy type Of wheel
from France. These, at best, were
but heavy things, which were soon i'm
proved upon by American makers.
Schools for teaching learners to
ride were quickly opened; and that Of
Frank Pearsall, the well-known New
York photographer, was perhaps the
first of these His school was on the
corner of Broadway and Twenty-sec-
ond street. Together with his broth.
er, he turned out upwards Of three
hundred well-taught riders within two
months. Three months later nearly
fifty bicycle-schools thrived In New
York and Brooklyn. These schools
We'd one with the other in high~sound-
ing names. One was the "Amphicy-
clotheatrus." another tho "gmynocy-
clidium," etc. The cost Of tuition
was fifteen dollars each; but this
amount carried with it the right to
use velocipede and to practice in the
hall for one month.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

back at her, I'm a woman, It IL true,
but will show you that can keep a
secretl'
when the meal came on tne table
we were compelled to keep the secret
with her.
1T looked like Irish stew, tasted
like clam chowder and behaved like q
bad boy.
"On the second day it suddenly oc.
Cured to Phyllis that she was work
ing, so she handed in her resignation,
handed Hank, the gardener, Jolt in
his cafe department., handed out q lot
OF unnecessary talk, and left us fiat
'The only thing about the house
that loved her was pair of my wife's
handsome side combs, and they went
with her.
"The next rebate we had in the
kitchen was colored man named
James Buchanan Pendergrast.
James was all there is and carry
four. He was one Of the most careful
cooks that ever made faces at the
roast beef.
"The evening he arrived we in
tended to have shad roe for dinner,
and James informed us that that was
where he lived.
Eight o'clock came and no dinner.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
BRIGHT BOY CAN MAKE TOY
Push Filler Swiftly OF Rod and It
Scars About Room for Some
Time-Most Amusing.

Even the toymakers have taken up
the craze and the market is flooded
with aerial toys. One of the most
amusing and one so simple bright
boy can make it himself, is devised by
a Virginia man. The secret of this
toy lies in the four-bladed flier itself,
the blades being twisted like those of
screw propeller or an electric fan.
A long piece of strong wire, or of
twisted wire, for it must not bend
easily, has ring at the bottom for
thumb or finger. On this ring sets a
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
AER0PLANE DART is POPULAR
Addition Of Wings That Has Been on
Market for Years Increases
Demand for Toy.

One Of the most popular children's
toys in Paris at the present time is
the aeroplane arrow or dart shown in
the accompanying drawing. The same
toy, minus the wings, has been on the
market for number Of years, but the
addition Of the wings has more than
doubled its popularity. The dart is
projected by means Of a spring in the
barrel of the pistol. it being CON-
pressed when the end of the dart is
inserted. says the Popular Mechan-
1cs. The pulling Of trigger releases
tho spring and the dart rushes on its
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
FROM ALL ABOUT.

A little girl from way down South.
once put her finger in her mouth,
When suddenly she had to cough.
And bit her finger almost off.
A little boy from way up North,
who lisped. once said: II want a north
and thaddle tho that / can ride
with thord and pithtol by my thide."
A little girl from way down East.
Attended once birthday feast,
ana ate so long and much, they say.
The doctor had to come next day.
A little boy from way out West,
went out one morning, neatly dressed.
In mud he slipped from head to heels.
And now Stands up to take his meals. "
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
Flanders Babies.

Did you know that, in the eight
eenth century, almost all dolls were
made by the children Of the Neither
lands? They weren't called dolls
then, but "Flanders babies" instead.
There used to be an old English COUP
let which run thus:
1.-THE children Of Holland take pleas
ure in making What the children Of
England take pleasure in breaking"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
A 9torehouse.

In the old birds nests that are
placed near the ground in shrubs and
small trees close to hazel nut bushes
and bitter sweet vines in the country
you will often find handful of hazel
nuts or bitter sweet berries. They
were put there by the white-footed
mice and the meadow mice that visit
these storehouses regularly. A white
footed mouse will often cover birds
nest with fine dried grass and inner
bark and make a nest for itself.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
Busted

Many man goes broke-in Health
then wealth. Blames his mind
says it don't work right; but all tho
time it's his BOWELS. They don't work
Liver dead and the whole system gets
clogged with poison. Nothing kills
good, clean-cut brain action like con-
stipation. CASCARETS will relieve
and cure. Try it now. so
CASCARETS 1oc boz for weeks
treatment. All druggists Biggest seller
In the world. Million boxes a month.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
AN ESTABLISHED FACTORY

Producing standard goods used by stores,
banks. farmers and practically everybody.
open distributing Office for this district
and other unoccupied territory and desires
q resident distributor with $500 20 5000
in cash, carrying stock for Immediately
filling orders; we allow 500 to $500 month
~ compensation, extra commissions. of.
fee and other expenses, per contract, &C.
cording to size Of district allotted and
stock carried; permanent arrangements;
references required. If you can fill re-
quirements write promptly. Liberty"
Manufacturing Association, ESQ West Hu-
ron St.. Chicago.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
The Cattail.

The cattail Of the American swamps
Is almost exactly the same plant as
the Egyptian bullrush. It is no longer
used for making paper as it once was.
but from its root, is prepared an az.
tringent medicine, and its stems are
used for the manufacture Of mats,
chair-bottoms and the like.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
Currents and Currants.

my mother won't let me battle In
the ocean because she's afraid Of the
currents" said Willie.
"And my ma won't let me eat plum
pudding cause she's afraid Of the
:currants. too" said John.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

spool and on the spool rests the fier,
which has hole drawn over the wire.
BY pushing the spool up swiftly the
wings of the flier are set in motion
by the air pressure, and as it flies
off the top of the wire 1t scars grace
fully around the room for some time.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
In Demand.

IN Demand.
Rodrfck-That foreign nobleman is
reading the stock market and l notice
his eye fingers on "A. G. Preferred"
What does "A. G." stand for?
Van Albert-Associated Gas, I
guess.
Roderick-H'm! I thought perhaps
It meant american Girl Preferred"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Mrs. Wins1Ow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teethinR softens the gums reduces inhamma.
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, &c bottle.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
Ingenious aeroplane Toy.

Journey toward the target. The rub
Der tip, which is followed out, Gre
ates a vacuum within itself when it
strikes the target and holds the dart
in place where it strikes.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Sore Throat is no triaing ailment It
may carry disease germs to any part of
the body through the food you eat. When
you feel sore throat coming on. uss Ham.
Inns Wizard Oil.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Simple remedies are boil Garfield Tea
is simple, pure, gentle in action, and al
ways potent Composed of Herbs not drugs!
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Some men are as easily ratified as
others are hard to shake.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Garfield Tea, Herb remedy, overcomes
constipation, indigestion and sickheadache.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Mr. Brown-Ah! want to shovel of
the snow, Ell? Well, it's fine, healthy
work, my little man.
The Kidd amt dom it fer me
health. I'm dom it fer five cents.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Laugh at a fool and he imagines
that you are laughing with him.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Mans best possession is a sympa.
thetic Wife.-Euripides
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
The One Destination,

The One Destination.
us there any field for new poets?"
Eyes, potter's field" -Lippincott'
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28
WOULDN'T GO TO SCHOOL

Once there was little boy
Who wouldn't go to school.
He wouldn't study 'rithmetic
Nor learn a single rule.
And now he's such a stupid boy
That folks all call him "FOol."
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

That little boy, the very same
Who wouldn't go to school.
So, now, dear little children.
Ponder on these things
And gladly hurry off to school
When the school bell rings.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Deaths From Wild Beasts In India.
Wild beasts and snakes were the
cause of 21,904 deaths in India in
1908. Tigers killed 900 people, leop-
ards 302, wolves 269, other wild ami.
mails 686, and snakes 1878, while
1926 wild animals and 70,494 snakes
we're destroyed.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-28

Much modesty is only skin deep.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-14

merly to be done by hand-and a fourth in.
vention is mechanism which neatly arranges
in coils the postage stamps which are to be
placed on sale in vending or stamp-selling ma
chimes which 1t is planned to introduce in this
country following the example of Germany and
other foreign countries.
Much has been printed from time to time
garding the machines that almost think in
vented by the mechanical experts of the United
States census bureau to aid Uncle Sam in the
big task of counting noses. However, there is
one invention, newer than any of the others re-
garding which little has been said. This is the
automatic cardsortng machine, the function of
which is to sort mechanically the ninety odd
million cards representing the people of the
United States-for, under our present system of
cardindextng the country the census Office has
on file bit Of pasteboard to represent every
man, woman and child in the republic. The
new sorter sorts cards at a speed of from 900 to
325 per minute, sorting the cards into thirteen
different drawers. The machine is operated by
electricity and the sorting is done through the
medium Of sensitive needles which seek out the
holes which have previously been punched in
each card to record biographical facts and dis
tribute the cards according to the location of
these holes
Uncle Sans greatest business institution the
postofice department, has lately fostered its
share of new inventions aside from the stamp
vending machines with which it has long been
experimenting. The late novelties include an
electric canceling machine for canceing the
stamps on letters and postmarking the envel-
opes; q trolley system for handling mail in city
postofices and a belt conveyor system for the
same purpose Two clerks in the postofice de-
partment lately invented a machine that cuts
down work 20 per cent. in the money order
branch of our postal headquarters, through its
faculty. in automatically printing the money or
der fees as the amounts of the paid money or
ders are recorded for auditing purposes. And
finally, the department is on the eve of per
fecting a remarkable new machine for the use
of every postmaster throughout the country who
conducts q branch of the new postal savings
bank This aforementioned invention is sugges-
tive In appearance of the familiar cash register
and it's function is to mechanically fill out the
deposit slips of the lately established poor
mans bank" work that had formerly to be
done by hand. Not only will this new mechan-
ical toiler save time and labor but it will make
dishonesty virtually impossible on the part of
any employe handling postal bank deposits: