The Washington herald., 1911-01-02
HUMAN NATURE IN WASHINGTON
By FRED C.. KELLY.

overnight at the nome Of q wellto-do
native of the region.
After dinner that evening. the host
said: See hyah: my wife and daughtah
haven't evah had tho pleasuah of hyain'
yo' style o. speakin'. I want you to
stand right hyah and now and give them
that same speech you delivuhed this
afternoon"
Senator Swanson was game. He did
not omit a gesture or an anecdote from
the speech. and the audience seemed in
accord with what he had to say. Also
the women must have made favorable
comments on the 81 -ech to the neigh
bors. for he has been carrying that pre-
cinct by an almost unanimous vote ever
since.
Senator Jonathan Bourne. jr.. of Ore
gon. noted for his affability and the
costly cigars that he hands out with
great abandon. is coming to look more
and more like a high-grade actor. When
he is talking in a firm, serious tone of
much conviction-which is his usual
manner of expressing himself-one can
not keep from thinking what a hit he
could make if he were to put on a sword.
buskins, and cape. and hurl few taunt-
ing words at the erring princess in the
closing part of the second act
The Senator's face can show all the
severity of a James X. Hackett in a
bawl-out scene, mingled with the oppres-
sive solemnity Of the sexton of a Bap-
tist church in the act of looking at his
watch just before ringing the bell for
prayer meeting service. At such mo-
ments the casual caller wonders If he
could have offended the Senator abou,
something. But a second later like as
not. the clouds will clear and Jonathan
Bourne. jr.. will be beaming on one with
all the winning magnetism of high-Sal-
aried encyclopedia salesman.
When he is carrying on a conversation,
and the floor space permits. he keeps walk
ing about like a man In a hotel lobby
waiting for the telephone girl to tell him
which booth to step into.
Two members Of the Rivers and Har-
bors Committee got into a dispute over
one item in the list Of appropriations.
Member Joseph E. Ransdell. Of Louisi-
ana. had river in mind that he wanted
improved and the majority of the COM
rnittee couldn't see it. They continued
muIling over a bunch of charts, showing
every stream in the country, from the
Mississippi on down to the smallest
'.cricks,'' and all Of a sudden Ransdell
saw something that made him stop and
look in the direction Of Member Alex
ander, of New York, and Cassidy, of
Ohio. with n queer glitter in his eye.
Alexander lost out by one neasly vote in
the last election. and Cassidy also was
caught when the storm broke. Both had
opposed the item that Ransdell wanted in
his bill.
Here's a stream that you'll both want
to see improved" said Ransdell, taunt-
ingly. as he pointed to a map Of Arkan-
sas with his forefnger, like a promoter.
you'll want to see it widened and ex-
cavated and fixed up for proper trans
portation facilities. It's called here the
Saline River. Saline. you know. means.
er-uh-salt-the stuff you have on the
table to season things with
sure, We want that Saline River i'm
proved" came back Member Cassidy,
just that quick. IF all the Democrats
ride over its smooth surface two years
from now that I'm hoping will, it ought
to be dredged to take care Of a boat the
size Of the Lusitania"
Copyright pll. by Fred c. KeIy)