davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
Clark'S Epigrams.

Unless all signs fail, Champ Clark S
term as Speaker of the House of Repre-
sentatiVes will bring forth the finest
lot of epigrams which have gone across
the Speakers desk in many a moon.
AS the presiding officer of the House
the Missourian will be compelled to
cross swords with some mighty clever
statesmen, who will attempt to tie him
INTO a parliamentary knot. When
Champ is hard pressed in the heat of
debate he is almost certain to deliver
himself of language which, although
always expressive and to the point, is
not considered elegant.
Serene E. Payne. of New York, one of
the men who will be in a bothersome
minority next year, never fails to drag
an epigram out of Clark.
During the consideration of the tariff
commission bill Mr.. Payne poked fun
at Clark's inability to deliver a solid
Democratic vote.
"A little more o that kind of CAB and
I'll beat your bill," was the choice
morsel of parliamentary talk Clark
flung across the aisle.
1t was Mr.. Payne, also, who was re-
sponsible for a remark by Clark which
may be in common usage in Missouri
but which was never heard before on
the floor of the House. Mr.. Payne was
engaged in his usual occupation of
taunting the Democrats.
Don't give me any more of that
slack jaw" shouted Clark.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
BRIBING AMERICAN NEWS.
PAPERS AT $3.50 EACH.

Charles H. Harding, second vice
president of the National Association
of Woolen Manufacturers, at the an
nual meeting of his organization at the
New Willard last evening, said he had
had two chances to subsidiZe the press
of the United States for considera-
ton of $2O0,O0O.
Mr.. Harding declared, with apparent
seriousness, that if he has raised
100000 for distribution the news
papers of the country would have sup
ported the wOolen schedule of the
tariff law in their news and editorial
columns.
The World almanac informs us there
were 22.7OO newspapers in the United
States in 1910. If Mr.. Harding had
accepted the bribe propositions w"Ich
he SAYS he received, the subsidy would
have amounted to about $3.50 for each
newspaper.
Further comment on Mr.. Harding 5
statement is hardly NECESSARY.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
HIGH EXPLOSIVES CLAIM A
TOLL OF DEATH.

While the exact cause of the dyna-
mite explosion which caused an appall-
ing destruction of life and property in
Jersey City and Manhattan yesterday
has not yet been ascertained, it has
already developed that the lighter upon
which the high explosive was being
loaded had not been licensed for such
a purpose. The bureau of combustibles
of the fire board knew nothing of
the transfer of dynamite, as pro-
vided for very clearly and emphati-
cally by city regulations. 1t would
seem, moreover, that the work was
being done under a contract system
which took the work from the imme-
diate supervision of the shippers.
Coming as it does so soon after the
disastrous explosion near the Grand
Central, the question arises as to how
long the first city of the country is to
tolerate a laXity in the handling of
high explosives, the leakage of gas
mains, and the like, which would dis
credit the easy going indifference of
a mining town. The toll of death
should arouse the authorities to a more
vigorous enforcement of laws which
may be ample in their provisions, but
which seem to be sadly ignored.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
WATER POWER POLICY AT
NATIONAL CAPITAL.

While the executive branch of the
Federal Government is engaged in put
ting into operation a policy of con-
scrvation of water power throughout
the country for the benefit of present
and succeeding generations, the legis-
lative branch is given an opportunity
to establish, at the doors of the Ma
tionaI Capital, specific example of
power development and utilization.
The Presidents declaration for con-
servation of water-power rights on
public lands, made yesterday, fits very
nicely into the argument for the Great
Falls power project. If Congress is
really interested i'll developing natural
resources for the benefit of humanity
it can do no less than apply the Presi-
dents theories at Great Falls. While
the local case, in some respects, is
unlike those involving water power
OH Government land, the underlying
principle is the same-public benefit
from forces which nature supplies for
the common good.
That the Government should acquire
all the water rights it does not already
possess at Great Falls was recognized
as far back as 1898, when bill to
obtain these rights was passed by the
United States Senate. The measure
died in the House, after being favor
ably reported by the House District
Committee, but the debate in both
houses showed clearly the necessity
of making the United States the sole
proprietor of Great Falls.
With the passage of every day since
then, this necessity has become greater
Today it is more pressing than ever
Further delay OIL the part of Congress
in enacting legislation to give the Gov
ernment-already the holder of the
largest single intercst-all water RI
at Great Falls would be inexcusable.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
COmmutes Sentence
. Of Socialist Editor

President Taft . has commuted the
sentence of Fred d. Warren, the Kan
sas editor who was convicted of circu-
lating, on the cover of the Socialist or.
gan, the.'Appeal to Reason" defam-
atory advertisement of a reward for the
capture of former Governor W. S. Tay-
lor of Kentucky.
But while it is true that the Executive
has remitted all the fine but 500 and
commuted the jail sentence entirely
neither the prisoner nor his friends will
get any mental comfort from the Presi-
Dental order.
In his brief, reviewing the case. the
President arraigns Warren as a would
be martyr and mock hero. He says
that he does not propose to make War
rem conspicuous by allowing him to
serve a Jail sentence under these cir
cumStanceS.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
BROTHER Of DEC|[S !
TOATTEND WEDDING.
Will Be One of Interesting
Figures At Gould
Nuptials.

NEW YORK. Feb. 2.-Among the
guests who will attend the wedding of
Miss Vivian Gould, daughter of George
Jay Gould, and Lord Decies next We'd
nesday will be the bridegroom's younger
brother, the Hon. William Arthur
Beresford, whose marriage to Miss
Florence Miller almost ten years ago,
set his brother the example of wedding
an American bride.
Mr.. Beresford lives at Providence,
where he is a salesman for an invest
ment securities company, and has won
a reputation as a shrewd business man.
He is thirty-three years old and served
on the staff of Lord Roberts during the
Boer war, having been detached from
Lord Strathcona's regiment of horse
His wife was the daughter of DIR. and
Mrs. Gardner l.. Miller.
MY wife and ! are going to New
York next Saturday" said Mr.. Beres-
ford Saturday. We will attend the
wedding rehearsal as we'll as the real
CEREMONY
Another guest who is preparing for
the rehearsal is Miss Hope Hamilton.
Miss Hamilton is to be a bridesmaid.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
X Capital T ales x

of Virginia. The Senator was a curious
Southern gentleman of the old school,
and when he was introduced to the
aviators he asked a few questions about
the biplane. The Senator. incidentally,
was a member of the Senate Committee
on Military Affairs. which would deal
with any appropriation for aeroplanes.
Wilbur Wright, aided by Orville, made
a detailed explanation of the machine.
and as they did so the Senator stood
quietly, gazing beyond the machine as
though he were drinking in every word
of the Wright brothers. When the avia-
tors ceased talking the Senator turned
to one Of his companions and remark
ed:
"Halsey, that thermos bottle over
there is leaking"
The thermOs bottle, and not the aero
plane, had fixed the Senator's gaze. The
next day notice was posted on the
swinging door of the hangar that no
visitors would be allowed within.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
Senator as Student.

Lafayette Young, Junior United States
Senator from Iowa, siXty-three years
of age, newspaper publisher. candi-
date for reelection to the Senate. is a
regularly enrolled student at Drake Uni
versity at Des Moines, Iowa. The
Senator is a special student, and when
he is at home he attends class twice
a week.
This somewhat startling statement
was vouched for by the Senator himself
educational matters in the Republican
cloak room.
You fellows do not know that am
still going to school. do you?" asked
Lafe. We'll, it's fact. \ couple of
years ago l became interested in the
study of astronomy. I read all the
books l could find on the subject. and
then found myself so fascinated by the
subject that I was hungry for knowI-
edge. I, therefore, became a special
student at Drake University, and when
my duties in the Senate do not inter-
fere l attend class twice a week
Il think 1 can go the average STU
dent one better on this college educa-
ton. l so to Drake and absorb all
the knowledge l possibly can. and then
l accept lecture engagements at other
schools. At Drake 1 am a student; at
other institutions I am virtually an iE-
structor on the subject of astronomy.
l guess that's going some.
Speaking of colleges reminds me OF
an address 1 made years ago to a grad
uating class at Ames College in iowa.
You young men, I remarked, have
just been told that in no circumstances
must you so out into the world with
the big head. My dear young men do
not concern yourself on that score.
The world is able to take care of itself,
and it has made arrangements to re-
duce your respective heads to their
proper sizes without DELAY"
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
Breakfast a La Hale.

When Senator Eugene Hale passes
from the Senate on March 4 next. so
will pass a custom which he established
and which he alone followed.
Senator Hale is fond of company. of
good clothes. of good things to eat and
drink. but all of these things must be
convenient and must in no circum-
stances entail unnecessary eXertion on
his part.
To find good company and good
things to cat and drink in Washington
the Senator has only to summon his
coathman and drive to score of fash
ionable residences where he would be
welcome. But the Senator likes his
social life to begin early in the day. To
wait until the conventional hour of s
in the evening when he can join his
friends at dinner does not suit his con-
venienCe. His duties at the Senate
make il Impossible for him TO attend
the countless afternoon teas, and yet
the Senator must have society. have it
early in the day. and still not inter
fere with his legislative duties.
1t was because of this determination
TO participate in social functions at his
own convenience at an unconventional
hour that caused Senator Hale to hit
upon the scheme of bTeakfasting at the
Capitol. That scheme is now known as
breakfast la Hale" 1t consists of
taking possession of a commodious COM
mittee room. ordering the head waiter
of the Senate restaurant to prepare a
friends to join him around Uncle Sans
mahogany.
Senator Hale has made a big hit. with
his Senatorial breakfasts, but curiously
enough no one has followed his ex-
ample, although his breakfasts are as
popular as the corned beef hash break
fasts to which the late Mark Hanna in
vited his friends.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
THE GROUNDING MAKES HIS
ANNUAL FORECAST.

The more closely people study the
forecasts of the Government bureau,
the more popular becomes the ground
hog. Whatever else may be brought
against him, he never gets half the
people of the country started toward
Washington and then brings on an
inaugural blizzard. The most that he
predicts is that, the weather permit
ting, it will probably be colder before
it becomes permanently warmer. Quiet
and unobtrusive, he never attempts to
thrust his views upon any one. He
maintains no elaborate system of sig
nails, nor, after the manner of those
soothsayers who are interested in
trade does he issue chromatic almanacs
in which forecasts of sleet and snow
are jumbled with cures for pneumonia
and the heat of August bracketed
with remedies for hay fever. Those
who seek his views must go out after
them voluntarily, almost stealthily.
He is not infallible. Neither is a
"wet moon" in time of prolonged
drought. Corns and bunions, the mi
gratory wild geese, the bark of trees
are liable to be misleading. Nature
itself does not seem to know its own
mind. Otherwise we would not witness
that annual slaughter of the innocents
among adventurous fruit trees-which
so strangely revive and bear with their
usual abundance.
With all his faults the grounding
is dear to the masses. His coming,
whether in sunshine OF shadow, is a
forerunner of st. Valentine and George
Washington and all the array of
goodly men whose birthday comes in
the years briefest month. And as
for the weather he brings, the Opti-
mist is content to feel that most any
kind of weather is better than no
weather at all"
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
REINFORCEMENT
BILL CAUCUS NEXT
Crumpacker Plan Not to Be
Approved BY Re-
publicans.

Following the threat of Representa-
tive Crumpacker that he would call up
such legislation upon the ground that it
was privileged under the Constitution"
the Republican members of the House
will caucus tonight upon a reappOrtion-
ment bill.
Mr.. Crumpacker, with a resolution for
taking the census, really opened the way
for the rules fight last March, because
the Speaker held that census resolutions
of this character are expressly provided
for in the Constitution. Then along
came Mr.. Norris with his amendment
of the rules, and the House held that
TO be privileged, too.
Consequently, when Mr.. Crumpacker
declared that he would call up his re-
apportionment bill. which the House
leaders were attempting TO sidetrack,
the Republicans decided that a caucus
might be the better plan rather than to
raise the question of constitutional
privilege again.
4 poll has demonstrated that there Is
practically no chance that the bin re-
ported by the Committee on Census
the CrumpaC Cker measure providing for
433 members will be approved. Mem
bers of the House talk more freely about
a House of 297 members.
The caucus tonight is partly the result
of N,r Crumpacker's insistenCe that re-
apportionment OF some character shall
bc enacted at this session.
A bill increasing the members OF the
House to 397 will mean the following
changes in the State delegations:
Gains California, ,; Massachusetts, l;
Montana, l; New Jersey. l; New York.
>; Oklahoma, >; oregon, |; Pennsyl
vania, /; South Dakota, 1; Texas, /;
Utah, /: and Washington. ..
Losses-Indiana, !: Iowa, l; Kansas,
!; Kentucky, /: Maine, /; Missouri, .;
Nebraska, /; Tennessee, !; Virginia, /;
and Wisconsin. !.
Under this arrangement. by a strange
coincidence, the States losing represen-
tation, in the ma jority of instances, are
Democratic States or insurgent Re
publican States.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02

of the swiftness which we are accus-
toned to associate with it and within
few hours the libeler was found
guilty and sentenced to brief term
of imprisonment which at least serves
as vindication and a warning.
The democracy of Great Britain
would lend but little eountenance to
anything in the nature of lese majestic
prosecutions, but it is glad to concede
that if a mans home is his castle, con-
versely even the castle need not cease
to enjoy all the sanctity of home.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
Associates Mourn Death
Of Thomas P. Woodward

Expressions of sympathy and con-
dolence are expressed in resolutions
adopted by the trustees of the WASH
ington Title Insurance Company and
the District Title Insurance Company
Yesterday on the death of Thomas Bur-
sell Woodward, president of the COM
panies, who died January 26.
The preamble of the resolutions re-
cites that Mr. Woodward became con-
nected with the companies in 1889. and
that his ability, his character, and his
disposition endeared him to his col
leagues and companions. A memorial
was ordered spread on the minutes of
the companies and a copy of 1t trans
mitted to the bereaved kinsmen.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
EVEN A KING IS ENTITLED TO
PROTECTION.

The memoirs and histories which
bristle with piquant gossip of the court
would become sadly sterilized if few
of the Teigning monarchs around whom
those diverting stories centered had
had the willingness and the opportu-
nifty to do as King George Of England
has done in the matter of his alleged
morganatic marriage with the daughter
of a British admiral in the days when
he was cruising the Mediterranean as
the sailor prince" 1t was d roman
tic and withal a pathetic story. The
youthful infatuation, the clandestine
marriage, the children who, according
to the laws of nature, should be heirs
to the throne of Great Britain, and
finally the broken hearted wife who
had to make way for a state marriage
with one of higher rank than herself
all furnished the material in which
the Grammonts and the Confines, the
Lady Hamiltons, and the Lady Bless
ingtons would have reveled. These
touching details would have been all
the more interesting if they had had
even a foundation of fact. They were
whispered about in certain circles for
many years, and now and then veiled
allusions to them crept into print.
1t remained for one Edward F. My
lius, the London agent of the Liberator,
republican paper published II Paris,
to revive this ancient scandal, on the
accession of King George, and, when
given the opportunity, he steadily re-
fused to retract what he had written.
Some idea of the reliability of the in
formation might have been gathered
from the fact that three different ad-
mirals were named as the father of
the morganatic wife, while other details
were equally conflicting.
In finally instituting proceedings
against Mylius for seditious libel King
George made it clear that he was act
ing, not as the head of the United
Kingdom and the British empire, but
as a husband and father whose rights
should not be less sacred than those OF
the meanest of his subjects. If the
law had permitted, he would have even
gone into court, like any other wit
ness, to testify as to the facts in the
case. British justice showed something
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
Four Hundred Attend
Loyal Legion Banquet

In an address made to 400 persons
gathered for the Loyal Legion Of Honor
banquet at Rauscher's last night. Maj.
Gen. Leonard A Wood, L. S. A, ex-
planned his views on the proper method
of maintaining peace.
Among the other speakers of the ev-
ening were Senator Lafayette Young
of Iowa, Representative J. H. Gaines OF
West Virginia, and H. B. +. Mactar-
land.
Patriotism was stirred when all pres,
ent arose and sang THE Star-Spangled
Banner" as two of the oldest veterans
carried the large silk flag belonging 10
the Commandery of the Loyal Legion
up and down the center aisle Of the
banquet room.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
Why the Wrights Baked.

When OrviIle and Wilbur Wright had
their biplane at Fort Myer and We're
giving daily exhibitions for the edi-
fication of President Taft, Senators, Rep
resentatives, members of the United
States Supreme Court, foreign diplo-
mats and lesser lights in Washington,
every one who went to the aviation
field wondered at their Indifferent at
titude toward the dignitaries who jour-
neyed out from Washington to see them.
A story was told in the Senate Demo
cratic cloak room a day or two ago
which may throw some light on why
the famous aviators suddenly barred all
distinguished visitors from their hangar
and refused to explain the mechanism
of their wonderful machine to curious
statesmen.
One of the visitors to the Wright
hangar was the late Senator Daniel
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
Congressional Club
Names New Officers

The new officers of the Congressional
Club entered on their duties this morn
ing, this being the day following the
annual election.
The new officers are Mrs Ernest w.
ROBERTS. president; Mrs. Crumpacker,
first vice president; Mrs. John B. Hen
derson, second vice president; Miss Hill,
third vice president; Mrs. Hubbard.
fourth vice president; Mrs. W. r. Smith.
fifth vice president: Mrs Garner, treas
urer; Mrs. e. Driscoll, recording secre
gary, and Mrs. w. T. Borland. corre-
spending secretary.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
Drowned Boy May Be Son
Of Typewriter Employe

WILMINGTON, Del, Feb. John c.
Woodward, of 72l Walnut street. a fore
man in the plant of the Remington Ma
chine Company, believes that the body
of the young man drowned in the
Chesapeake bay. and now in the morgue
at Baltimore, Is that of his son. Harvey
J. Woodard, who has been missing since
last Saturday. Mr.. Woodward will go
10 Baltimore today TO view the body.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02

--
address by the Rev. William J. Kerby,
Ph. D., Socialism: An Interpreta-
ton" Mcmahon Hall, Catholic Uni
commencement exercises of the GER
tificate class of the Business High
School, school hall. s p. m.
Address by H. H. Mckee. Clearing
Houses" before the Washington
Chapter of the American Institute of
Banking. 1914 f street northwest. s
speciai services at Salvation Army
Hall, $50 Pennsylvania avenue north
west, p. m.
Women's National Foreign Mission Ju-
bilee, New York Avenue Presbyterian
Church, II a. m.
Meeting of the municipal legislation
committee of the Chamber of Com
merce, p. m.
Meeting of the members of the Build
ers and Manufacturers Exchange, s
D. m.
Minstrel show by members of the CaIu-
met Club of the Catholic University,
BrookIand town hall, s p. m.
Annual reception of the Guadalupe
Club, 1914 Sunderland place, tonight.
Princess of Wales Lodge, English Ladies,
seventh public annual ball, at old
Masonic Temple.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
AmuSementS.

National-"The Commuters" S:l5 D. m.
Belasco-"The Cub" $40 p. m.
Columbia-Honey Boy Minstrels, 2:15
and S:15 y. m.
Aeademy-sS1AHs 4 the Sun Went Down.
Chase's-Polite vaudeville, 2:15 and Sis
p. m. ---
Casino-Vaudeville, afternoon and even.
ing.
Cosmcs-Continuous vaudeville, 1 to II
p. n.
Gayety-'Fads and Follies," 2:15 and
S:l5 D. m.
Lyceum-"Follies of the Day." 2:15 and
Sis D. M
Arcade-skating an1 bowling, afternoon
and evening.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02

established efficiency should not be inn
paired because of what seems to be the
inevitable misunderstanding incident
to readjustment of working condi-
tions,
The Washington times., 1911-02-02

II is terrible to think that international
peace is in the hands of the deputy
sneriffs of Montgomery county who are
inclined TO disregard the immunity of
the Diplomatic Corps when the auto
mobile regulations are at issue.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02
Strike Picket Is Shot
And ASSailant Escapes

NEW YORK, Feb. 2.-Joseph Quasel-
10, thirty-four, of Brooklyn, a union
strike picket, was shot and probably
fatally injured while attempting to dis
suade strike breakers from going to
work in the j. T. Cousins shoe factory
in Brooklyn today. The man who did
the shooting escaped.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02

The Pride of the Ozarks may be able
to explain away any alleged reference
to his constituents as hill billies." They
are, as he says, too dear TO him. But
the rank plutocracy of taXicabbing will
continually rise TO haunt him. Even the
wealthiest constituencies are disposed
to audit ha bits like that.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02

The German hotel keeper who has
come over to learn the secrets of max
ing an American cocktail should be told
that 1t is gift and not an requirement.
By the time he learned to make one he
would be too old to enjoy it.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02

, Few men in this country had a wider
circle of friends and acquaintance than
Major George H. Morrissey, doorkeeper
of the House of Representatives for a
quarter of a century. Regret for his
death is far-rea ching and sincere.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02

A wealthy Missouri bachelor provided
in his will that his body be cremated
and his ashes flung to the forewinds.
That left nothing but his wealth for the
usual bunch of mysterious widows to
fight over.
The Washington times., 1911-02-02

Up to a late hour, DR.. Welsh had
evaded the rack and thumb-screw of
the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. In fact the
Little Brown Dog" demonstrations are
not as popular as they once were
The Washington times., 1911-02-02

There was something to impress the
Imagination when the Elizabethans
celebrated Candlemas. In this moving
picture era it is different.