davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
to their respective posts after ten days

TO their respective posts after ten days
vacation.
Quietly at a Tuesday morning service
at 81 Agnes church Rev. Father A'Hern
celebrated the wedding OF Miss Bertha
shelaney to Harry Elmo Angus. Miss
Claire Shelaney and DR.. J. j, Humpal
were attendants 10 the bride and groom.
After n short wedding trip Mr.. and Mrs.
Angus win be at home at the Grand View
hotel.
Michael j. Gallagher, AGED 30 years, died
yesterday noon at the home OF his sis
ter, Mrs. w. j. Byrne. 2sil q street. The
deceased was III only one day. The cause
OF his death was pneumonia. The fu-
neral will be held from the residence
2Sll q street. 20 ~. Agnes church on
Will be made In ST. MGry's cemetery.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
New AieRIco.

CLIMATE. HEALTH, SOIL, WATER
crops ard profits sure. Fruit ana Hifaifa
irrigation. Considering cost
and prUuts. we otter the best on the mar.
ket.. Come al rIsat hartshorn " CO..
1 nllshRd- Now MeNIco.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
Ilaho.


TIE easiest way to find buyer for
your farm is TO insert small want ac
In the Des MoineS Capital. Largest cir,
culation in the state of Iowa, 4S,O0o daily.
The Capital is read by and believed in by
the standpatters oi Iowa, VINO simply re-
fuse TO permit any other paper III their
homes. RRtes, 1 cent a word a day; sl.25
per line per month; count ak ordinary
words 70 the line. Address Des Molnes
CapitaL DeS Moines la.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
North Dakota.

NORTH DAKOTA FARMS FOR SALE
on crop payment plan; no money down.
Write tor particulars NORTHERN
STATES INVESTMENT COMPANY, SIG
Metropolitan Lte Bldg Minneapolis,
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29

MUST sell at once 100 acres well inn
provcu; good roads, good neighborhood;
close TO town; best OF never-tallins soft
water. For Information address h. b,
Hatch, Yates Center, Kan.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29

The xey 20 success in business Is ths
judicious and persistent use Of newspaper
advertising.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
south DaGota.

FOR SALE--A farm OF "A acres adioin-
ing a guou s. ID. town. Modern eIgnt-
room house; Darn; chicken house; good
well; two large cIsterns; danuy Ter any
one wanting d smail iarm Wlth town ad-
NantaRes. AID. Box bSS. Madison, y. D.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
WIscOnsiIh,

RUSK COUNTY, WIS, cut-over hard
wood lands: wholesale prices; any slzed
tract: clay loam SOIL; IN DAIRY anu clover
belt; goou markets, school and cnurcneb
easy terms. write ter maps and IN
formation. Arpm Hardwood Lumber
Company, Grand Rapids. WIS.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29

STOCKHOLDERS MEETING.
The annual meeting OF tho stockholders
Of the Bee Building company Will be held
at the office Of said company. omaha.
Nebraska, at 4 o'clock y. IN. Tuesday,
January i6. 1912. for the election OF the
board Of directors for the ensuing year,
and for the transaction OF such other
business as may properly como before
the meeting.
BY order OF the president
y. L. FELL, Secretary,
D1itoJi5
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
LEGAL NOTICES.
,holders MsetiSE MoiiiS. = Of The Union

NOTICE
Stockholders Meeting OF The Union
Land Company,
Notice Is hereby given that the annual
mecting OF the stockholders " The Union
Land Company for the election Of five
directors and the transaction Of SUCH
other business uS may legally como be-
fore the meeting, viii be held at the
office OF the General solicitor. Union
Pacific Headquarters Building, 18th ana
Dodge streets. Omaha, Nebraska. on
MOndny. the Sth uay VI January. 1912,
at 10 o'clock a.. NJ.
Tho stock transfer books VIII be closed
10 days previous TO the meeting.
Alex. Miller,
Secretary.
New York City, n, y, Dee IS 1911.
nlgHnOt
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
REAL ESTATE LOANS


WANTkD-City loans ana warrants. w.
Farnam smith a Co.. laSO barnam 81.
OMAHA Property and NeDraska LandA
O'KEEFE REAL ESTATE CO.
1915 New Umahn Natl Bank Building
FARM LOANS near Omaha; no comma.
sion; optional payments; cheap money
MONEY TO loans on business Or resi-.
dence properties. Sl,0UU to SOVV.VvO. w. Al.
THOMAS. 5JJ First Natl Bank Bldg.
$lOO 10 SlU.OOJ made pa ompuy, ~ ~
Wead, Medd Bldg 18th and barnam.
WANTED-City loans Ie.ers trust Co,
LOW KA rs. bhMls-CAkL.bklhG co.,
slO-Sl- b andeis Tneater blds.
GARVIN BROS. b%sss bSs1s, 40 Ss,a, ana Az y, Z.
LARGE LUA4>s, municipal BONDS, mort.
cages bought anu soio. SruLL EROS.
FOR SALE OR EXCHANGE
FUh SALE or fXcnange-Flat-top goId-
ei-oaK desk. j. 91y. Bee.
WANTED-TO BUY
ID hand goods, Kleser, l0zO Center. u. b6s3
WANTED-TO RENT
WOULD care for apartments IN ex-
change for heated Housekeeping loom.
DougIas 1881.
GENTLEMAN seeks accommodations In
hlgh-class FAMILY where home privileges
wut De accorded. Must De west OF 2ott
Ave, and both neighDornood and homt
surroundings must quailIy as refined. Ref
crences eXcnanged. Address Al ivs. Bee.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29

ANNUAL MEETING.
Notice is hereby given that the An
nuRl Meeting Of the Stockholders OF the
Omaha Gas Company will be held at the
office OF tho Company 1909 Howard St,
az i0:O A. m. Monday, January I. 1912,
for the election OF Directors Tor the en-
suing year and for tho transaction Of
such other business as may come before
the meeting.
FRANK T. HAMILTON
President,
GEORGE w. CLABAUGH.
Omaha, Dec. Is 1911. Secretary,
II 22d iOt
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
Illinois,

FOR SALE-Chickea ranch. 81 acres,
plenty OF fruit and peaches, good build.
ingss location central Illinois; for par.
tleulaIs write .-aurens. Iowa. Route =
Box II.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
Modern Suburban Home

FOX BALE, Jytn anu AenteT, with fif-
teen acres choicest land ana Iingst of iin-
proVements. House Is modern through
out 10 rooms and bath. Inquire Andrew
a. Furay. Phone Harney 1861. station d.
Route ].
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
REAL ESTATE
FARM & kANCH i4ANB FOR SALE

my knowledge of land on uncOmpieted
Grand Trunk can make you quick profits
FRANK Crawford si3 Homer 81, Van.
.a4.er or Omaha"
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-29
For Rent
Brick house

4arney 1899.
GROOM house, hot water heat, gas and
electric light; shades. 2702 Bristol.
FOX tshNI-New lO-room modern
brick aouse. 1852 Harney; ready Jan. /.
lsi2
HotNwater heat.
inquire Il. j. O'Brien. Henshaw hotel
Phones. j. 1916. H-lO94.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
JUDGE COTS SKYSCRNRF
New READY TO BE OCC led

coating, ornamental beams and cor
nices, ETC., and all the corridors in
the upper floors are finished in mar
BILE mosaic.
All the interior wood finish is OF
oak and birch, all West vir-
GINA products. The building con
tain a separate pressure system to
insure water TO all parts Of the
building at all times, also contains a
fire line stand pipe with hose con
nections on each floor, and all
plumbing and electric light. fixtures,
rs well as all hardware, are OF the
best manufacture. The building is
heated by an overhead direct steam
system, using natural gas for fuel.
The bank counters are erected on
a solid AlaEbama marble base with
marble mahogany. The grills OF
the bank fixtures are solid bronze
ana the woodwork throughout is
mahogany. The vault is areproof
with book vault above. The bank
toilets are A}aBanfa marble and ma
hogany.
1t is a massive structure as a few
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
MESSAGE OF THE GOVERNOR
SENT TO THE -EGlSL A Tl RE-
BUREAU HERE
IS TO Be STARTED
Preliminary Steps for Open
ing II Are Taken at a
Meeting in City.

Steps were taken Saturday night at
IA meeting I'M the court hose here at
tended mostly by coal miners to es5
tablish and maintain coal miners
bureau for research and information
in this city. The movement was given
considerable impetus by the interest
shown BY those present, there being
about fifty-five in attendance, most
Of whom signified their intention to
become members of the organization.
A large number of those present did
take out membership.
Temporary officers were elected as
follows:
william Reed, of Lumberport, pres
tdent.
william ]. Kecfe, of clarksb1lrg,
secretary.
A committee Of five was appointed
to Draft a constitution and bylaws
ard procure a hall in which to main
tain the bureau, This committee con
sists of G. ]. Altsotten, Frank e. Par
scps deputy mine inspector, William
y. Keete, G. B. Skinner and Daniel
oIdrocd. 1t will meet Saturday Feb.
rrary 4, in the rooms of the engt-
rcering, apartment of the Clarksz
burg Fuel Company on the fifth floor
Of the Empire building fer the; pur-
pose OF performing the dutiesk dele,
gated to it.
II is the intention to have aigeneral:I
at 8 O'Clock Saturday night,
February 20. in hall to be obtained
by the committee on constitution and
by laws, to which all Interested IN
the mining industry are invited.
9 A station similar to the govern
mort mining sstatinh in burg is
CONTINUED on paee a.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
ROONEY KILLED
IN AN ACCIDENT
Well Known Yard Fireman
Meets a Horrible Death
in the Yards.

John Rooney, Baltimore & Ohio
yard fireman, and the Oldest man in
point OF service in the local yards.
was instantly killed in an accident
which took plac: directly beneath
the overhead bridge Just east OF the
depot at $3.50 o'clock Monday nora
ing.
Mr.. Rooney ana p, j. Madden, en-
gtneer, were in engine No. 1883,
which was standing on switch UNI
derneath the bridge, when engine No.
1888, which was on its way to take
ccai, attempted tc pass the first en-
CINE, and sidsswiped II, the first en-
gine not being clear OF the track on
which the other was running. Mr..
Roony was standing in the cab and
had just time to shout, Watch QUIT"
when the other engine crashed into
fNn1kIn,,aa So .n. ~ y
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
Are Among the ding Con
tracing Firms of This
Continent
-lST OF TIE yAlsIE $
Of the Concerns Which TOOK
Part IN Erecting tIis
Great Structure.

) III y
AAose VINO z n'lllt sE9 e s5ett ~
sStapeF are az tloli y NJ
Mllourn's Heisteg aud eillp
"asnlngton, =. IA,
Eillott and Winchel srks burg,
w. va general cor
~ !. Vaadefei lftttil II ses lile,
va, nspecPor'
Inc John oSEdaTe 0rnpany.
GlarKsoprg. plumeil hot atei
heating gas ppe, and tIlst lion
OF the hllers ana IS e8s nee gSatee
pressure system as ysel tne
toilets o. the fye store
The American Else eon,pfa
OF wheeling, and y: ", END
Company, Of Fatftnon ctElc
wiring
uhe y. y. MOSS lr9tlisssS Com
work.
rs. .MGkenHte,g Green's zorro Nj e.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
Is a Modern Structure That
Would Grace Any City
in.the World.
PrERcES THE SKY
One Of the Largest and Tallest
Buildings in West
Virginia.

Only a few touches remain to
make the completion Of the new
Cor building, nine-story modern
sltyscraper at the corner Of West
Main and Court streets here, COM
plete, and business firms and pro
fesstonal men are already busy NOV
ing into this great structure. 1t is
another OF Judge Goff's benefactlons
here.
Ground was broken by H. w. E.-
lott and E. L, Winchell, the general
contractors, June rs last. The
building fronts eighty-six feet on
West Main street and 1870 feet on
:ourt street. The contract price for
the building was 100000.
The building is Of steel frame
fireproof construction, with rein
forced concrete floors and gypsum
block partitions. The exterior walls
are stone in the lower stories, inF-
pervious press brick above, and the
roof is of steel construction with
book tile covered by slate.
The foundations under tounda-
lions for the walls and for the stee4
columns were reinforced with two
courses OF lugged and twist
ed steel rods laid right an
giles and worked Into the con-
crete foundations or footings.
The foundations were tested with a
dead load of 5000 pounds to the
square foot for forty-elght hours
Without settlement, thus showing
the stability of the ground sustain
ing the building.
On the first floor is modern
equipped banking room and Ave
stores, and the upper stories con
tain 1914 offices. There are two iron
and marble stairways from the
ground to the top foor also two trac-
ton type high speed electric pas
senger elevators, and a glass and
bronze mail chute the full height OF
the building. Each office contains
porcelain lavatOry, with hot and
ieold water. electric light and tele-
phone connections, ana some Of them
gas for dentists.
The banking room Is finisRed i
iinafi1Ie hf5nze 10, iai.sa' KS.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
OCCUPANTS
or NE w BULLDLWG
Among Them Are Many Bus
mess FiFms and Profess
sional Men,

! 4 p
The first floor OF the new ,Goff
building is to be occupied by the
Farmers Bank, the WHlliams4Cof-
man Hardware Company and Bane
and Bond on the Main street side,
and the Hayman Greenhouse Com
pany, Ernest siers and r. NJ. Lone
Will have rooms on the Court street
side.
The directory for the other part o.
the building with still others NOV
ing in is as follows to date:
Second Floor.
Drs. Arnett and Castor, rooms
201-s.
Dr. L. F. Kormann, rooms 2O6-7
DIR. F. B. stathers, rooms 21g-4.
DR.. CASTOR, room 203.
Drs. Haynes and stathers. room
aus.
Or B. A. Haynes, rooms 1861.
fancy Harrison, rooms $3.50.
r.. %. Lewis. rooms 22O-1.
Nv. 3, Norris. rooms 222sSS.
G, Non oner rooms
Third n 66r.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
JUDGE NA THAN GOFF
OWNER or Bull DING
- sSlAH M.M
Known as Golf Building, the
Tallest andLargest in
the City.
FOREMOST CITIZEN
Brave Warrior Brilliant
Statesman, Distinguished
Jurist and True Patriot.

There is no better opportunity to
pay tribute to one of Clarksburg's
foremost citizens who mas been so
instrumental in the ub.0uilding Of
the city, than the present, which
marks the completion of his nine
story building at the corner of West
Main and Court streets in the central
part of the city and adjacent to the
court house square; and the follow
ing short biography of Judge Nathan
Golf, accompanied by his likeness
and picture 81 his beautiful build
ing, is most apropos:
Nathan Goff, son OF Waldo p.
COT, was born at Clarksburg, Va,
now W. Va, February 8, 1912, and
educated at the Northwestern Acad-
envy at Ctarkstburg, and ct George
town College. District of Columbia.
,He was still a student at George
town College when the Civil war
broke out in 1861, and without
waiting for his graduation enlisted
as private soldier in Company G,
Third Virginia Infantry, being pro-
noted to the post of lieutenant of
the company in short time. lie
participated in the battle OF Nc
Dowell, Port Republic, Winchester,
Droop Mountain, Second Bull Run,
Antietam, Rock Gap, Cross Keys,
RapQahannock Station and a num-
Der of minor engagements. In rec
ognition OF his services on the field
he was promoted to major of his
regiment, and later, at MoorsAeld,
w. va, January 20, 1864, was taken
prisoner and confined in Libby prfs-
on, where he was held four months.
At the close of hostilities, Major
Con was made a brevet brigadier-
general, recely1ng his commission at
the age Of 20 years. He was honor
ably discharged from the volunteer
service ID MaTch, 1855.
e. Shorty fteF liis ehatg fc.l
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
MRS. Henry DEAD
After an illness of a Duration
Of Four Months at Her
Home.

Mrs. Maggie Henry wife Of Daniel
Henry, died at AIS o'clock Sunday
afternoon after an illness Of four
months, aged 20 years. She leaves
besides her husband three children.
namely, Miss Mary A.. Neil and Dan
Tel Henry; three brothers and one sis
ter. The latter are John, William and
Lemuel Barrett OF Newark. o., and
Mrs. Mary Thornston, Of Charleston,
W. Va,
Mrs. Henry was born In Marietta,
O.. January %. 1872, and married to
Mr.. Henry in 1892 at Charleston by
the late Father singer. Four chill
dren we're born to them, one of whom.
Marguerite, died November 90, 1928.
Mrs. Henry was a good and az
fectiohate wife ana mother, who viii
be sadly missed.
: Funeral atTangeme nts have not
been scpF ptetsiI as word rom reids
M
Il1il
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
Great Record Made by the
Republican Party is
Reviewed.
SMALL TAX ON GAS
And Other Measures Of Pro
gressive Kinds Are Rec
commended.
commended.

,qtfHRInsToN, Jan. 8O-A Joint
committee Of the two houses waited
on the governor today and his mes
sage mas communicated at 1i:3O
o'clock. both houses took up the
reading Of the message.
The governor IA his message con
graduates the legislature on the phe-
nomenal growth Of the state during
the decade ended not only in popu-
latton but in wealth as well.
"a statement is next given showing
balances in the treasury at the end
OF the last ten fiscal years together
with g lengthy reference to the re-
ceipts and expenses OF the state for
the last Two years covering the work
Of the states institutions and the ap-
preparations made by the legisla-
ture. Receipts OF The state fund,
the state road fund and miscellaae-
Gus appropriations and expenditures
are set forth in detailed tables COW
eF4hs several pages.
Discussing estimated receipts for
the next biennial period, Governor
Glasscoak scays:
u believe the present sources Of
revenue under the existing laws
Will produce as much money as they
Did during the preceding biennial
period, and have already given you
IN detail the sources from which
this money has been derived and the
amount from each source, and for
each year OF the Biennial period.
But this Is calculated on a basis Of
not less than y cents on the. 500
OF. state tax and this gsnp1rld he ea-
--4--~.44
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30

as a bachelor Of laws two years
later, at which time he began the
practice of law in the courts of
West Virginia at ClarkslbuIg. He
was chosen to represent Harrison
county in the' House of Delegates OF
West Virginia in 1867 and reelected
in 1858. He was appointed United
States district attorney for the piss
trict Of West virginia BY President
Grant n 1863, which position hs
ably filled for thirteen years.
en- 81 81 9. cone eoiE
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
Bull ~
BIG Bull

figures furnished by Contractor FL
lott show. There were 8,S2G cubic
yards of dirt in the excavation,
.forty-eight car loads OF crushed
limestone were used, twenty-one cars
of Portland cement, forty-one cars OF
sand, $50 thousand brick, eleven
cars of furnace nag, five cars Of IN
diana cut limestone, one car Of
Georgia granite, two cars of mar
Die, twenty-one cars OF fire-
proof partition blocks, twelve
cars Of wall plaster, one car OF plas-
ter paris, ono car of roofing slate,
one car of galvanized iron corntce,
.776 tons Of structural steel, tifty-six
tons of ornamental iron, eighteen
Z.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30

the portfolio, and continued in Pres
7dent Hayes's cabinet until the Close
OF his administration. In 1882 he
was the nominee of the Republican
party for Congress In the First dis
tdct of West Virginia, and was
elected by safe majority, although
the district was nominally Demo-
cratic. He was re-eIeSted in 1884
and again IN 1885. IN 1894 he was
elected chairman Of Tie national Re-
publican eSecuti3e committee, ana
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30

tcontInaed on page Is
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30

Continued on page 81
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30

Continued on page y
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30
NEW CHARTER.

The CIarksburg Cooperative store
Company, Of Charleston, w. Va, has
boon chartered to conduct WHOLESALE
anetretal grocery business. Author
lied capital, $4,000. ;Incorporators;
GlaFsnce U. Rpaaegs deorgeyE. i3sr-
bert R. B..Hardss8 and II. G. Bit
ten, ali Of Clarksbufg.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-01-30

THE TELEGRAM
81 niole tlau double the paid circl-
laiiQn VI any other Clarls-
burg neuspaper
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-09-28
Says Herr Limb berger

II
Company attention! RIGHT face
Forward, guide right, march! Won,
1.-Two, dree. four; hep, hep, hep, which
away dey vent, commander und ALI
Und de way does companys cut de
corner von de Deputy's heart, und
When he gate Captains Tally und
Parent de banner. pleasant schmile
vent nit it. Dot iss de first dime
dey hate Won de banner und de vay
dey Won Sunday vas simply fine.
Say! wasn't dere some class to dat
piece what Mr.. Burchard.s poys gate
us Sunday? 1t vas name William
Tell, und / wish dot de Professor
would dell it to us some more. Did
you hear dot fellow What blows dot
clarinet, blay his part? Veil /
should say dot he SEIZURE can blow
dot squak stick. Why was looking
at him all de dime, und vas Wonder
ing where Mr.. +. M, got all his Wind
from, [ nefer cav him take dime to
breath yonce. Bully for you Mr..
squak stick you vas all right und We
like your music. Yah it vas goot.
/ want to dell, de fellows What hafe
been sending me reading, | don't
live in de same blaze. No / vas too
stylish to live way up there und so
I'm now on 140, second park row,
right, next de place where you eat
und dot ISIS fine blaze You see /
schmell de food first und den when
/ go in de eating room / hate Won
good, (vhat you call it)? Oh yah,
Yah dot vas it. Will.
you know some Won said, eat und
be merry for tomorrow you might
die dead.''
A man drinks girl believes ever
ding he dells her, but she knows dot
he believes vot she dells him, und
dot vas true nit lots of them, but
not nit some.
Foolish question No. 1.197.149.
Editor What vas you doing
down in dis cell?'
Herr Limburger- Doing dime of
course what you dink?'
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-09-28


the citixeDs' nocturnal repose. II 1s
= good thing a. II i. doesn't live in
Munich otherwise for cat with
nine legs be would have to pay III
leave you to figure it out Albert.
"A gay Young coquette is Miss Julia,
With fiattery seeks che TO rulia,
But 'twere best to beware,
Else you'll find that, though fair,
This maiden is seeking to f,ilia.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-09-28

The Furnace" is the title Of a
powerful story by Frederick Grin
Bartlett, in The Red Book Magazine
for October. It Is concerned with a
homesteader's heroism In forest
fire.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-09-28
ART and Arr
By MI Desperdndum.

By MI DeSpeaG7a1um.
If Whitewash Road would Lam
beth Walk? Officer fetch the brace
lets.
I If Holborn Viadnct would Ken
sal Rice?
If Norwood Scrubs would
Enfield Wash?
If New Cross would Chelsea?
Ii Liescester Square Mayfair
would Hampton Court Seven Dials?
Officer do your duty.
II Windsor Barking Reach Pic
cadilly Circus would Dulwich Ham
let, Charing Cross London Bridge?
Hold him Pat he's got my chrome
meter.
why do you consider some
women superior to men in intelli-
gence?' "A bald headed man buys
hair restorer by the quart, doesn't
he?" Eyes well, woman
doesn't waste time on hair restorer;
she buys hair" (Oh rats).
A magistrates clerk was taking
down the evidence of witness, and
asked what her name was. Med
dows." she replied. How do you
spell it, MADAME" Hem, He, D, D,
Ho, Double U, Hess sAh! then,
there's no Hay in your Meadows?"
remarked the witty scribe, to the
amazement of the court.
OF the many German municipali-
ties which have long threatened to
levy a tax on cats, Munich is first to
carry the threat into effect. The
revenue of Bavaria's capital will be
augmented by five marks annually
upon each cat within the walls Of
the city. In the future, poor puss
must wear a collar, with metal
check and number, similar to those
worn by dogs or she viii fall a VIC
tim to specially organized cat catch
ers. The new measure it is stated
is in defenfe Of singing birds and
also in the interest Of hygiene and