davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16
KANSAS cOMAENT
SCIENCE SCORES.

Complaint is frequently launched
against the age in which we live on
account of its rapidity and because of
the prevalence of many inventions
whose use shortens the span of mans
existence; but there is another side to
the story as we'll. One by one, the
common dangers of the past are being
removed by science; one by one the
unpleasant features of life that our
grandfathers considered necessary
evils are being abolished in our civil1-
cation.
Something over four centuries ago,
Admiral Columbus of the royal fleet
of her majesty Queen Isabella, sailed
across the Atlantic and the voyage was
fraught with terrors beyond imagina-
ton. Since then consider able progress
has been made in the matter of navi-
CATION, but even up to the present
time, the land lubbeT, who has
dreamed of "A life on the ocean wave,
q home on the rolling Deep has had
his dreams tinctured with a nightmare
of seasickness that gave a pale cast to
his anticipation. Now another step
has been taken and the ocean traveller
in the latest ship afloat will expert
ence the same sensation as person
registering in a first class hotel and
spending week as a guest.
The serious effects of NAL de mer"
viii no longer be experienced and the
seafaring jokes about sea sickness Will
not be sprung by comedians who are
up to the minute.
Aviation and automobtlng may have
added perceptibly to the death lists.
but the improvements made IN raw
cation the last few y,t~s ave- s.:ort-
ened the list of thosa who lose heir
lives on the sea as well as making few
er the number of those who feel they
might as well die and be through with
the agony.-Salina Journal.
A FIRST DISTRICT ASSOCIATION.
The Horton Headlight wants to
know why there should not be a First
district editorial association. Why, in
deed? All the other districts of the
state, we believe, have their associa-
tions, which meet annually, have
good time. and result ia swapping a
lot of good ideas. There are as bright
editors in the First district as any
where in the state. They ought to get
together every year. Y would do
every man of them good and through
them it would be a benefit to the whole
district. The editors of this district
ought to know each other better.
Such an association would give oppor-
tunity fr better acquaintance. There
are many things that might be dis
cuSsed with profit at such a meeting,
but better even than the shop talk
would be the rubbing up against each
other.
And it wouldn't be an occasion for
editors meeting, alone, but there would
be many of the public men of the
state who would be glad to attend
such meetings. Now thar the political
conventions are done away with the
boys" get rather hungry for meetings
of some sort where they can pow-woW
with each other and with the editors
upon whom they depeT to further
their plans. The association would be
a good thing. Why not push it along?
-LeavenWorth Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16
FROM OTHER PENS
THE GREATEST MoNEY-GETTER.

THE GREATEST MONEY GETTER.
While the figures of the wealth of
John d. Rockefeller and Andrew Car
negie are approximately known, little
can be learned about the possessions of
J. Pierpont Morgan, who is said to be
in actual control of many billions of
capital of his own and other people.
Mr.. Morgan is a lavish spender. his
purchases of art objects amount to
millions and he keeps up princely
establishments in Nenw York, London
and Paris. He has also been a lavish
giver, as a man of colossal wealth may
well be. Mr.. Morgan was born with
genius and also under a lucky star.
Opportunities came to him that were
never vouchsafed to men before. and
he has the genius to recognize them
and seize them. And there are great
windfalls, too. Here is one reported at
Colorado in the discovery on land
owned by Mr.. Morgan of an immense
coal vein worth millions to the land
owner. But the opportunity incom-
parably greater than any other was
that of acquiring the cream of the
wealth of Alaska. If the Cunningham
claims had been validated Mr. Morgan
would have come into possession of a
wealth to stagger the imagination, for
with the foothold and with Controller
bay in his grasp he would have prac-
t1cally owned Alaska.-Nwark Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16
THE ICEMAN,s GAME.

TILE lCEMAN'S GAME.
The king is dead-long live the king!
So start the we1kin echoing.
For with the first warm breath of spring
The iceman came.
No more the plumber fills with awe
No more the coal mans word is law;
We even give them the hal Ia!
The iceman's came.
You hang your ice card on the door,
The iceman sees but to ignore,
He passes by and you get sore
And call him names.
But impotent is all your ire;
The sun still scorcheS you like fire
You fret and sweat mean perspire-
But all in vain.
Until in humbleness at last
You seek this potentate and cast
Yourself before him, pale, aghast,
And beg a. chunk.
Then, maybe, to your residence
He'll bring with cold indifference,
A chunk that looks like 80 cents
But costs a PUNK.
Kansas City Tines.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

LFrom the New York Press.
Men go off fishing and girls stay at
home to catch them.
A woman can make believe about
everything except a good cook.
The timid girl who is afraid of
everything else on earth never is of a
man.
The trouble with people who know
better than to get married is they
know it after they have gone and done
it.
man thinks he's getting the hang
Of things mechanical when he can go
near them without having a leg cut of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

To those people who are insisting
that the church is losing ground in the
United States are respectfully submit
ted a few statistics which were voiced
recently by DR.. Estey of the First Pres
byterian church of this city. Eight
new churches are being built in this
country every day in the year. Fifteen
million people are attending the Sun
day schools. and being taught the fun
damental truths.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

With the members of the United
States senate always standing on their
dignity Of exaggerated proportions. it is
pretty difficult for the United States to
progress very rapidly in any great
world movement. The chances are that
the general arbitration treaties between
this country and England and France
will be held up until the next session of
congress and then amended in such a
way that the signatory powers will not
agree to them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

The paymaster of the Kansas ma
tional guard is unable to pay off the
men for their service at the state en-
campment because Governor Stubs Is
out Of the state. His signature to the
vouchers is necessary. Where is the
lieutenant governor? A recent act Of
the legislature increased the pay of this
officer to compensate him for discharg-
ing the duties of the governorship
when the governor happened to be in
other parts
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16
FuId, LEASED WIRE REPORT
OIa TIE ASSOCIATED PRltSS.
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State Journal
away from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
zen cents a week or thirty cents a
month (by mail only. Address
changed as often as desired. While
oct OF town the State Journal will be
90 you like a daily letter from home.
Advance payment Is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

Now that a negro has been burned on
p murderous pyre in one of Pennsyl-
vania's Quaker settlements, the news
papers of that state owe few apol-
ogies to several Of the southern states.
On many occasions in the past the
newspapers of Pennsylvania have
pointed the finger of scorn at states in
the south because of the lynchings
that have taken place in them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

AS might be expected, the clergyman
who advised Topeka girls to learn the
difference between the odor of spear
mint and whisky comes from foreign
parts, New York. to be exact How IS
It expected that girls in a prohibition
state can become familiar with thu
odor of whisky? Still, the advice is
mighty good at that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

her hands. DO you? And-will you
prove it by promising to be my wife %
Cynthia drew back-not too far
back. Am I not too cynical?" she
asked.
You're Cynthia he said. That's
enough for me. ''-(Copyright, 1911, by
the Associated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

Surely it was a waste of energy on
the part of the officials of the United
States weather bureau to go through
their files for the purpose of ascertain
ing that the summer of 1911 has been
the hottest on record. Everybody but
the inhabitants Of the cemeteries has
been aware Of this fact for some little
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

DR.. George Hirth. a savant Of
Munich, attributes the suffering of hui
manity to heat to electrolytic disturb
ances due to the abstraction Of salt
from the system But he doesn't ex-
plain how this depletion of salt can be
prevented, although drinking a good
deal of water helps some.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

body. The sailors of those days, one
and all, were superstitious that the
presence of a dead body on board ship
was a precursor of disaster. And many
old sea captains were just as super
stitious about this as were the ordi-
nary seamen. Verify do the times
CHANGE
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

More evidence that one member of a
Family viii seldom profit by the eX-
perience Of a relative: Miss Matilda
RGoisant, sister of the daring aviator
Nvho dared once too often and fell to
his death, has taken out a license to
Operate an aeroplane.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16


The suggestion that the battleshipOre-
gon should have the place of honor in
the maritime celebration of the open
ing of the Panama canal commends
itself to favor. 1t would be too much
to say that the Oregon caused the
building of the canal, but it is entirely
Just to say that she gave to this coun-
try one of the most effective object
lessons as to the need of the canal
and UNNECESSARILY stimulated the de-
mand for it's prompt construction by
this country and under this country's
sole control.
1t was in March, 1898, that the
Oregon was sent for. She was then on
the Pacific coast, where she was not
likely to be needed, and she was di-
rected to come forthwith to the At
iantic or Gulf coast, where she prob
ably would be needed, and where, in
fact, she did render invaluab BILE ser
vices. Every one wildly remem bers
journey was watched, the mingling of
anxiety and satisfaction with which
her progress from point to point was
noted upon the map and the thank
fulness, relief and exultation when at
last she was reported safe and sound
at Jupiter Lights. But what had the
ship to do, and what did she do? The
run was by way of the Strait of Ma
gellan, 10, 400 miles, and it consumed
81 days. Had the isthmian canal been
run of only 1900 miles, consuming
only % days-perhaps less. Had the
canal been in existence the Oregon
would have reached Jupiter Inlet by
April 10, or two weeks before the be-
ginning of the war, instead of May %,
or month after it began. The canal
would have saved weeks of time,
thousands of miles of travel, perils in
Vulnerable, deep anxiety and possibly
the war itself. for the presence of the
Oregon with the rest of our fleet
early in April. 1898, might have had
a material influence in the negotia-
lions which were still in progress.
When the government and the ma
ton realized the significance of these
facts it was resolved that the two
ocean coasts of the United States
should be Joined by a waterway at the
earlier possible moment, and it would
be highly fitting to let the Oregon,
once the pride of the navy, lead the
line of warships and of merchant yes
sells forming the inaugural procession
from Colon to Panama.-NeW York
Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

The body of John W. Gates who died
in Paris recently is to be sent home
for burial. This is now an every day
occurrence in the traffic on the sea-
But it wasn't so many. many years
ago that the captain of an ocean going
vessel would be unable to get a crew
to operate it # the fact became known
that he proposed to transport a dead
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

In one respect at least have some of
the members Of the new school board
shone forth in luminous fashion. They
actually Topped off some of the est-
mates of the expense for conducting
the schools during the ensuing year.
This is an almost unheard of proceed
sng in public educational circles in this
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

Topeka viii have a postal savings
bank before long. Announcement comes
from Washington that they are soon to
DE established in all the large cities.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

Doctor-wen. I hope you profited by my
advice. Patient-Yes, doctor; but not so
much as you did--Boston Transcript.
What is the hardest thing to learn
about farming?'' inquired the summer
boarder- "Gettin' up at o'clock in the
mornin'," replied Farmer Corntossel.--
Washington Star.
purposes" HE must be in wretched
health" why do you think so?' "a
shipment Of twelve quarts lasted him only
two weeks. birmingham Age-Herald.
she-Doesn't it worry you dreadfully to
owe owe SO many bills you cannot pay2 He
No; why should I worry over other peO-
pies troubles.-Omaha Bee.
The New Organist-What shall play7
The Absent-Ninded Vicar addicted to a
sort of hand have you got?-The Sketch.
Madge-I refused Jack eight times be-
fore finally saying yes" Ethel-Why did
you change your mind? Nadge-I didn't.
was merely seeing If he would change
his.-Blue Bull.
Mrs Crawford-In chewing your food
my dear, you must count thirty-two with
each mouthful. Freddy-Gee! that's the
toughest way they've gotten up yet to
make fellow learn arithmetic.-New
York Times.
a
dunk? Hamfatter-Very small Travelling
Man-Much applause? Hamfatter-WeII a
dog in the center aisle wagged his tall
Chicago News.
Didn't tell you that when you met a
man in hard luck you ought to greet him
counselor es, replied the flinty-soul-
ed person. Il went even further than
that. 1 gave him the laugh. Washing
ton Star.
What we want" said the peace promo
ter, is a system that will permit candid
flict-" Don't you think inquired the
man who was reading the sporting page,
that our professional pugiHsts have
come pretty near solving the probIem?"-
London Opinion.
You are falsei" he Kissed you are
the artificial product of the artificial age.
Even your figure is not your own
Liar she cried, triumphantly. Il paid
the last installment on it this morning."
He skunk away.-Toledo Blade.
Traveller to Nahve-But don't you find
| 1t a bit dull here? Dull, is it? DiviI a
bit, sort; sure a reasonable man can find
here watchin' the thrains go by And
how many trains are there day?'' Just
the wan, sorr."-Punch.
1--WE got great news for you cried
Jack excitedly. What is it?'' asked his
cousin Jennie. I'm going to marry Nav
Prettyman." "Pshaw that's not news
She asked me a month ago if I'd be her
bridesmaid. catholic Standard.
| Reverend Gude-The question is
brethren, how shall we send salvation to
the Fiji islanders? Deacon Tightwadde=
Though I am not intimately familiar with
the present case would suggest that we
send 1t collect."-Puck.
why. Tommy" exclaimed the Sunday
school teacher, don't you say your pray
ers every night before you go to bed?"
Not any more" replied Tommy. Il
ulster when 1 slept in a folding bed,
though. Philadelphia Record.
MY good man, are you systematic in
your work." NO sir, I'm rheumatic."-
Baltimore American.
Il don't know what to do about this
portrait" said the artist. Cant you get
the likeness?" "Oh. yes: but L m doubtful
about how far to go. If don't make it
look like him the critics will roast it, and
If do he'll refuse to pay for it."-Wash-
ingtOn Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16
Wanted Another wife.

nue., Brooklyn. walked into the Flush
ing avenue police station. closely fol-
lowed by his wife. Wyatt's head and
face were bleeding from several ragged
cuts Going in front of the desk, the
man folded his arms, and, looking at
Lieut.. Mundy, remarked:
You see before yoU an injured
man.
yes" interrupted Mrs. Wyatt. "and
you see before you a man who injured
himself with a flatiron because
wouldn't let him marry again. What
do you think of a man who comes
home and asks his wife If she will let
him marry again, Just as he might ask
her to pass the butter? OF course, I
told him he couldn't marry again If
had anything to say about it. and then
he got mad and seized 4 hatiron and
punched his own head and face with
the point of it till I stopped him.
isn't that the truth, Charles2" she
demanded, twitching her husbands ell
bow.
1T is" answered Wyatt ''Lieuten-
ant, she will not let me marry. It is q
sad case. Tt is a small equest, and
she has refused it. There is nothing
left"
DR.. ButterfeId, from the Cumber-
land Street Hospital, patched up
Wyatt's wounds, and the husband was
locked up on a charge of trying to
kill himself, On the way to cell he
kept repeating: she won't let me
marry. She won't let me marry"
Lieut. Mundy looking after Wyatt.
remarked as the woman turned to go
home:
ct would be a good thing if you
wouldn't let him drink corn juice
New York Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

Mrs Crawford-In chewing your food
my dear, you must count thirty-two with
each mouthful. Freddy-Gee! that's the
toughest way they've gotten up yet to
make fellow learn arithmetic.-New
York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

The New Organist-what shall play7
The Absent-Minded Vicar (addicted to a
quiet rubber of bridge)-Er, well, what
sort of hand have you got?-The Sketch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

Madge-I refused Jack eight times be-
fore finally saying yes" EtheI-Why did
you change your mind? Madge-I didn't
I was merely seeing If he would change
hiS.-Blue Bull.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16
HUAOR OF THE Day

Doctor-Well. hope you profited by my
advice Patient-Yes, doctor; but not so
much as you did.-Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16
THE BECAUSE MAN

Suppose everyone did Just what he
intended to do and no one failed be
cause" Then there would be no fail
ures to point out. There would be no
subjects for sermons for those who had
no because" attached to their names.
The man without the title could not
point to the because" man and say:
He did not succeed because So the
because man may take heart and
feel that because he did not he is sure
~ at last the subject of this sketch.
True he did not scale the rugged wall,
nor climb to heights unseen" by the
masses who are also other because"
men.
Most of us are because" men, we
yearn for the unattainable; we feel
that life is a failure. But maybe the
realities are dreams Ct callow youth
did not come nearer the dreams than
we think Maybe the awakening will
show that the because" men climbed
higher than they thought and maybe
the judge will show those who stood
on the heights that the clouds are well
worth striving Tor but in the depths
there is some sunlight" But the man
should never have because" as an ex-
cuse.-Columbia Is. CO Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

'Bikfelder uses whisky for medicinal
purposes. HE must be in wretched
health" Why do you think so?" "a
shipment Of twelve quarts lasted him only
two weeks. Age-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

She-Doesn't it worry you dreadfully to
owe so many bills you cannot pay2 He
No; why should I worry over other peo-
pies troubles.-Omaha Bee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

Travelling Man-Much of a house at Po-
dunk? Hamfatter-Very small. Travelling
dog in the center aisle wagged his tall
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

What we want" said the peace promo
ter, IS a system that will permit candid
olscusson to take the place of actual con-
flict- Don't you Think inquired the
man who was reading the sporting page,
that our professional pugilists have
come pretty near solving the problem pr
London Opinion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

Didn't I tell you that when you met a
man in hard luck you ought to greet him
with smile?' said the wise and good
counselor x es," replied the flinty-soul-
ed person. Il went even further than
that. 1 gave him the laugh. "-Washing-
ton Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

Senator Bailey was always a great
pleader- He swelled as the news went
forth of his wonderful ability as a con-
stitutional lawyer, his mental alert
ness, his insight and his intellectual
superiority. In the senate he shone
like a great MON, the SHADOW Of his
eloquence lighting the darkness of
many Of his cOrnpeers. That was be-
fore John Sharpe Williams came along
from Mississippi. The paleness of the
moon was quite lost in the orilliance
of the new luminary. Logic as oppos-
ed to buncombe. craftsmanship as OPP
posed to FEASIBILITY insight as Oppos-
ed to oversight, sincerity as opposed to
egotism, knowledge as opposed to a
pretension Of the same, these things in
a few short weeks have put Williams
on the pedestal and led Bailey into the
outer darkness. He shone. as Pompey
did. until q really great man stood be :
side him. Then all lis glory fell from
him as a cloak Even though the dema-
gogues and the sophists thrive among
US, they still are harmless when real
statesmen come into competition with
them--Charleston News and Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-08-16

What is the hardest thing to learn
about farming?" inquired the summer
boarder. "Gettin' up at o'clock in the
mornin'," replied Farmer Corntossel.-
Washington Star