davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Motto: II you see it in The Big
Stuck. it isn't necessarily SO.
DON T THINK
FOR ONE MINUTE

That Warren Coffin is suffering
from loss Of appetite.
That Jim Adams and Charlie RICE
have their equal at duplicate whist
That Chris Gockeler has broken Z
single resolution he made ca Janu'
AIRY |.
That Roe F'ulkersnn will ever Be
at a loss for something to say o.
write about.
That Jack Bowie contemplatrs re-
signing from the town council at
Warnersburg. Md.
That Dave Lynn is one bit stuck
up because he has a newly furnished
Office in the Capitol.
That Paul Tamplet had the buck
fever when he killed those deer In
South Carolina recently.
That All Buhrman will ever mis-
an opportunity to stop at the Coun-
try Club on his way home.
That Merritt O'Chance has dis
carded his favorite green overcoat.
He is just giving his trends eyes q
rest.
That Will West will devote much
time to business. now that the
Country Club has been formally
opened.
That Billy Ashworth. Billy Ter
rell. Billy Townsend, and Billy Lew
is have changed one bit, either in
length or breadth. since January L
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
LARGE TINES AHEAD.

Odell s. Smith. y. L. Hcacpck.
and w. Il. Peckham. the big three
Of the Washington Traffic Club. are
working nights getting ready for the
annual meeting Of the club. which
takes place At the Willard. January
IA. The programme hasn't as yet
been mapped ont. but Ode Smith
has one or two good things up his
sleeve, and Heacock has been tenn
posarily relieved from duty with the
Chesapeake Beach Railroad in order
to prepare the menu for the buffet
luncheon,
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
THOSE BROTHERS.

O'Digman Swat came TO town last
week to do some shopping. he
needed new pair Of shoes and he
got them at Berberich Brothers. He
had to purchase some groceries for
Mrs. O'Swat. ard these he got from
Thomas Brothers. Then Miss Lucille
O'Swat had instructed her father to
buy her snme Of the latest music.
and he purchased that at Droop
Brothers. For his son. Charles Al
gernou O'Swat. he had to get some
sporting goods. WHICH he purchased
at Walford Brothers. and finally.
10 make a good job Of il, he thought
he'd buy present Of a nice neck
lace for his aunt. Mrs. Cofnelia
West O'Swat. and he got that at
Gait BrOthefs'.
As he looked at the receipted bills
on the way home. Mr.. O'Swat said :
Great Heavens! I bought all these
goods from somebody's brothen. Z
never knew before that Washington
was such q city of bguthefiy love-
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

The fact of having queer name
never seriously handicaps any real
man. Look what this chap Humper-
dinck has done.
wish We had the courage Of the gov
error Of Oklahoma. who declines to
wear a sWallowtail coat in the even
ins.
The mos. useless task or earth
probably Is trying to secure the good
will of your enemies.
Some chaps are 80 mean that they
worry themselves sick because they
have never collected anything OH
their accident insurance policy.
When remember that it cnst En-
rope 81. .00C. .0OO. 600 for its armies in
the last twenty-five years, that Car
negie peace gift looks like small
change.
You will do we'll to remember that
Friday, the 18th, is sure tn be
very unlucky day - fall of the wa
ter wagon.
And Just think, we have progressed
thus far in the new year and not q
single aviator has been killed.
st. Louis absolutely declines to be
shocked by Mary Gardens 'Salome."
although her press agent did his
worst.
I sec that "Tara's Hail." the cne
made famous by Tom Moore. is about
to be sold. You know. it's the place
where the harp was played.
Alabama is a prohibition State.
but I notice that there were over
800 murders committed there On ac-
count Of drink. That drugstore
whisky il usually fatal.
can't help wondering whether
those '.holes in the air. about
which the aviators tell us. are not
the ones made By the baseball play
ers when they strike out.
I'm afraid some Of the coal dealers
are almost getting tired Of waiting
for an old-fashioned winter.
have always refused to believe
that Clarence Moore had his auto
mobile painted red 50 that it would
be conspicuous.
According to Col. Harrison, Of
Lcesburg. old Scotch of the vintage
Of s. is the most inspiring food for
playwrights.
! notice that those vote-selline
farmers out in Adams County. Ohio.
were so poverty-strickeu that they
all own automobiles.
"A young lady told me yesterday
that the latest fashion ID to be called
the poppy gown. That is. think
she said poppy-it may have bsen
pupyH. ].
When see some a the hats that
ladies wear to church. don't at al
blame Medicine Hat fer wanting 10
change its name. BILLY HlDB4
10 H "
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
Seeing Ourselves.

As a people. We showed ourselves re-
markably sensitive to criticism when, IA
good many years ago, Charles Dickens
wrote about us in Martin ChuzZlewit"
and we accused him, and later Mrs.
Trollope, of grossly eXaSgerating our
habits and social uSages. 1t may be re-
membered that in making out his case
especially in regard to slavery and the
capturing of runaway slaves-Charles
Dickens culled literally certain rather
offensive advertisements from the Amer
lean newspapers. To-day. long years
since these early critics wrote about us.
the newspapers are still the abstract
and chronicle of the time We can
imagine, Therefore. with what unholy
get hold of the Salt Lake Tribune and
note an editorial in that paper, entitled
criminal Recklessness."
IT appears that in Salt Lake City
they have the piOuS custom of ushering
in the New Year with much noise the
display of fireworks. and the shooting off
of pistols in the public streets. Appar-
entity, the gentlemen who thus shoot in
tho new year are not particularly care
fGi to lay in a supply of blank car
tridses. with the result that on Saturday
night a young man was shot and killed,
and nobody knew who shot him. Re
memberinS that this is the twentieth
century, and that We are somewhat in
Ciined to be hoastful about having out
grown our wild West childishness. it
certainly is a peculiar commentary on
the history of our times to read
"A common-sense regard for the safety
OF the lives of others should at least
prompt the New Year celebrator to use
nothing but blank cartridges if he is
going to make demonstration at all with
firearms. No amount of vigilance upon
the part of the police could prevent the
discharge of guns by celebrators upon
such occasions.
All this is written very sravely and
sapiently. and quite as if the shooting of
an innocent bystander on the public
streets of a big city were all a matter of
course. We quite agree with the editor
of the Salt Lake Tribune when he writes
further:
1T lS grave OffenSh against ono :
neighhor to discharge ball cartridges in
the street. There is altogether too much
of it done. t" the peril of every pedeS-
trian, but under the circumstances de-
scrihed it is almost impossible for the
peace officers to remedy the evil
The editor of thu Salt Lake Tribune
earnestly urges all the readers of his
paper to be a little hit more careful with
their guns next New Years Eve. and
particularly takes pains to point out that
IL is inconvenient even in Salt Lake City
Ia have indiscriminate bullets buStling
about the streets. Also. to show that
Salt Lake City iS at least making some
progress in the gentle arts of Civiliza- =
ton. it extends its heartfelt sympathy
to the family of the young man who
was accidentally shot and hopes that
his slayer may be captured: not with
any heated desire for vengeance but
looking with hope to the future, for it
says: 'PuniShmcnt of the perpetrator
might have a good effect in the future"
If the episode should happen to come
to the knowledge of our English friends.
they are almost sure to eXclaim, ''How
delightfully."- Americana
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
1.-THE BILLS.

tApologies to Ed Poe.)
See the little pile Of bills
Christmas bills
What an awful lot Of misery their
size instills.
How they grow and grow and grow
As every day goes by!
And each one seems to show
Some things We didn't know;
And all we do Is sigh
As We look upon the figures on those
bills. bills, bills.
Oh. those bills. bills. bills.
BILLS. bills. bills:
As We lock upon the figures on those
bills. i'm HENRY.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

opposition to the establishment of par
GELS post system comes from the express
companies and their friends. Sincerely
it is to be hoped that these friends have
not influence enough with Congress to
prevent the establishment of a system
that will so largely benefit all the people.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
MUNICIPAL NOTE.

The Big Stick hereby places in
nomination fer permanent superin-
tendent q the Street-c3eaning De
partment. Pruf. Willis L Moore.
When lothers fail. Willis b night on
the job. ~ witness the psssent con-
dition a our stTcets. Besidas. VIII
lis makes the weathess and maybe
be can Ax II 10 snow removal sp-
pFcuiAtton wont b sDeceaDD e al.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

The New York Sun, which is usually
very careful with its English. said that
| the bench of the United States Supreme
Court was full the other day, forget
ting. perhaps, that words have different
meanings.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

And when that Russian gentleman
changed his name to Robin at least he
had the forethought not to spell it with
two bS and a z.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
POSITION WANTED.

An up-to date. n,ethodical. systsm.
attic. sue-psupheVinS pciiticll man
aecf b 0pen for cnNsenent to any
one who eeeks olllce u any kind.
Refes1nces. Han smith. Flank Se
bring. Otto DeAloal. and Tum Noyea,
Aps,ay. Carter Keene. Possesses De
part1enf,
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

An Indiana man wants a divorce from
his wife because she batheS her pet dog
in the diShpan. Wouldn't it be cheaper
to buy another diShpan?
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

| The weather man said that a cold
wave was coming. and it came. This
| just shows that if a man is persistent
enough he's got to be right some time
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

The Elmira On. " Advertiser says:
The citizens of the Capital City would
he cnntented with their streets if they
could only See the streets of Elmira after
spring thaw." But, lordy. brother. let
us hope that our ideals are higher than
Elmira'S
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

Those people who were quite sure that
this country would never have postal saw
| ings banks can only be pessimfstic now
over their sureness Of belief that We shall
never have an income tax.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

If Champ Clark. when he becomes
Speaker, only follows half the advice
that has been given him free. he cannot
possibly do right.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

Even if it did fire its official head. the
Portuguese republic does not yet seem
to have landed on it's feet.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

The latest strike in New York is that
of the Boys Knee Breeches Makers. This
will give mother a chance once more
to cut down fathers old ones
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

If you have already broken Your New
Years good resolutions. remember thai
you do not have to wait until next New
Year to make them over again.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
TAKE NOTICE.!

since the New Years edition OF
The Big Stick vas pefpctrated. the
demand 10. space has been 20 great
that the management takes this of'-
poFtunity to notify the public that
the boohs arc now open for the uext
New Years number. We will be
glsd to reserve space at tho usual
FaAea. and those desiring the best
positions sanist coGne early.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

Although We have only just started on
| 1911, it will do no harm to remind the
spinsters that next year will be leap
year.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

Wonder how much more of the whole
North American continent is going to
slide into that Culebra cut.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

At least the high cest of living may save
many of us from the collie. Cucumbers
have gone up to /, cents apiece.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
BACK TO CORNED BEEF.

olAN w
When the new year commences ] get
back to my senses.
My holiday dancing was gay.
Il ignored the morrow and now, to my
sorrow,
The fiddler $ after mis- pay.
Much dining and winning. as you are III
vininG.
Went on meath the mistletoe boush.
But that is all finished. my wealth is di-
minished.
And I'm for economy now.
His Annual Custom.
Does your husband spend much time at
home?''
Always a few nights after New
Years.
Timely PrecautiOn.
Il am going to a bridge tournament to-
night"
Il thought YOU told me you had never
played the game"
Il never have; but shall go early and
get some good player to tell me all
about
Very Often.
There's difference in children
Yes: the poor mans children are as
sets. the rich mans liabilities"
4 Common Mistake.
We all make errors:
Careful men
Still sometimes write 1t
1910
Going to Europe.
rs this a safe ship!
Yes, auntie And | will also promise
the captain a dollar to sail very care
fully
Hiding Her Eyes.
II can't bear to see my mother doing
the houseW ork
is that why you always read a novel;
Where Beauty ReiKna.
Where did you get the inspiration for
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
POLITICAL CHAT.
~ Record Herald.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
Il is rrrOrted that Taft and Roosevelt going
to work in harmony. 1t has rot been explained
whether the President will style himself insur-
gent q progressive.
From the Boston Herald.
Carmi Thompson appointed and Mr.. EaiiInger
is Disappointed a sequence which illustrates at once
the complications If politics and the eccentrcities
If the English tongue
From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
In view Of the wholesale frauds in the weighing
and classification of imported at both New
York and New Orleans. Philadelphia may find some
! comfort in the involuntary certificate to the in
tesrty O the Customs officials here contained in
the refusal of the sugar tr,rst send any but
duty free sugar TO this port.
From the Lowell Citizen.
Democrats in Maine reiterate their purIsee To en-
force Statewide prohibition vigorously that the
rpo,Ie will have no trouble in deciding whether they
like it or not They say. truly enough. that the
Republicans have lTeach,.i Iruhibition and prac
| ticed nufcaf!"n. and they intend to give the
State taste OF the other thing.
From the Philadelphia Record.
Chancellor Day. Of Syracuse University. II "p-
posed tn manual training schools and industrial
education He thinks our need for statesmen is
greater than our need for Carpenters. We have
| too many platform builders. so To speak. and too
few constructive reformers: if this is what the
chancellor means possibly he is right.
From the Baltimore Sun.
There has been too much Of il disposition in the
Republican party I" treat the South conIuereC.
territory he governed without the consent Of the
governed. President Taft has made depart
! ure and he has never failed to manifest friendly
and cordial disposition toward the Southern States
Personally the President and the Southern people
are on excellent terms.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
Force of Habit.

Gov Patterson. Of Tennessee. pardoned
a great many convicts in his time, much
to the disgust of some of the people OF
that state.
The governor was coming out of a store
at Nashville one day and a man passing
by brushed against him. Pray. pardon
me- said the man.
Il will" said the governor. What are
Won in for?''
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

The only objection newspaper para
graphers have to the new postal savings
banks are that they will not let you de
posit more than 500 in one.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
THE PHILOSOPHY OF
FIFTEENTH STREET

The fact of having a queer name
never seriously handicaps any real
man. Look what this chap Humper-
dinck has done.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
Where Beauty Reigna.

Where did you get the inspiration for
your dream of fair women?
II fell asleep over a magazine ex-
planned the famous poet. Il had just
been looking over the corset ads
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

From the Chicago Record Herald.
Il is pr,Orted that Taft and Roosevelt are going
to work in harmnny II has rot been explained
whether the President will style himself inslir
gent or q progressive.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
Virginia for Taft.
Knows Horses.


Representative Champ Clark used to
be a school-teacher. and has been a stu
dent all his life. He is something OF an
art critic, particularly in the matter OF
bronzes. Coming down PENNSYLVANIA ave-
nue. from the Capitol one day. the Mis-
sourian paused in front of the equestrian
statue of Gen. Hancock.
THAT HORSE" he said, 'is the second
best bronze horse in the National Capi-
tall
Where is the best one"' asked his
companion.
in Thomas Circle" said Mr.. Clark
quickly. "The man who made the horse
on which the statue OF Gen. Thomas sits
must have been brought up with horses.
and I'll tell you how ! know 1t. The
name OF the animal Is hecked little
on one side. ! suppose have reached
forward with my whip q thousand times
when riding. and lifted bits of the mane
ever u the proper sade.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
Hiding Her Eyes.

II can't bear to see my mother doin
the housew ork
is that why you always read a novel ?
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

sesd ths Bhs,ills sus,e ,o-.oasy
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

rom thf FOstUn HtfdIU.
Carmi Thompson appointed and Mr.. EaliInger
is Disappointed a sequence which illustrates Al
the complications If politics and the eccenrices
If the English tongue.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07
His Annual Custom

Does your husband spend much time at
home?
Always a few nights after New
Years.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

There are a good many of US that
wish we had the courage Of the gov
error Of Oklahoma. who declines to
wear a swallowtail coat in the even
inc
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

Some chaps are 50 mean that they
worry themselves sick because they
have never collected anything on
their accident insurance policy.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

The most useless task or earth
probably is trying to secure the good
will of your enemies.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

ties. OF whOm she tells a number of
stories. She became on intimate terms
| Of friendship with the Laboucheres, and
| they celebrated their first Christmas din
| ner with them. Among the guests were
Whistler and Sala. After dinner We
| played like SO many children. and Whist
| Ter said that mistletCe was meant for
brides. and I was carried under big
bunch of mistletoe. and told to be a good
| little girl. and kiss everybody goodnight
| refused to obey. and nobody dared to
kiss me except Whistler. That was
twenty-five years ago. please remember -
adds Mrs. O'Connor.
! Here Is a story of Sala. The late Mr..
| Levy. Of the Daily Telegraph. once asked
him II he had any objection to his copy
being edited in the Office of that news
paper. To which Mr.. Sala replied this
Il am like butcher. / sell you so much
meat. To me II is a matter Of profound
indifference whether you serve il boiled.
| fried. or roasted
George Moore and the Dublin authorities
He painted the walls of his house white
| and the doors green. He was. served
with notice that all the doors in that
neighborhood must be brown. In reply
| he stated that he made his home SYM
phony in white and green. but IL they
preferred white and gold symphony,
they might do It at their own expense.
One night at a reception at Lady ST.
HeiIers Mrs. O'Connor says she sat next
| to the Right Hon. Cecil Raikes. then
postmaster general. He wanted to know
what he could do to show his apprecia-
ton o. ian Ansio-American neighbor.' =
and instantly I asked for q pillar box
to put at our front door. He laughing
| ly said tnat It should be done, and when
7. p returned At midnight from the
Commons there already was my scarlet
triumph to greet him. YI4ANEUR.
(CepgSik MI - Ac1me Eeuspep9 1suatcatsl
The Washington herald., 1911-01-07

Going to Europe.
rs this safe ship!
Yes auntie And | will also promis
the captain a dollar to sail very care
fully"
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1911-03-24

Robert Mcleod and Otto Armstrong
were Royalton visitors the first Of the
week.
Commissioner Lakin went to Little
Falls Tuesday on Official bus,ness-
Mrs. A. q. Bouck entertained . party
of friends at tea Tuesday evening:
Fl. c.. Gray and family lwili1s@shortly
leave Royaltos> for Aitkin where Mr..
Gray will take up land. His present
home, north of the village. is re-
ported to have been sold to r. x.
(sarpeS.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1911-03-24
North Elm Dale

March 2l.-E. N. Larson called on
Pete So]lsrs Of Swan River Friday.
Albert Booth lost valuable COW
Saturday. -:
e. NJ. Larson went to Bowlus Satur-
day on business. r.
Miss ftosle koaosk,. who spent few
days v,siting her parents returned to
MIR. Youngdahl of svanvil]e was
here buying cattle Friday.
Mr.. and Mn. Tom .Kruzel visited
with Mr.. and Mrs. John Sobieck OF
East Klmdale Sunday. 49,
Miss Gertrude Kopka spent q few
Gays visiting with relatives in Buck
man last week. d., $685. 49,.
John Sobieck went to Bowlus Satur-
day on business. -. - 49,.
Martin Larson went to lwo Rivers
mill and Bowlus last week. ..--
Albert JeDdro of swan River is
again working on Martin LarsoDs barn
this week, after being absent week.
A. W. Zaloudek of Little Falls was
here buying cattle last week. ..
John Schlctka went to st. Anna
Monday on business. T. ..
Anton Tussy purchased q horse from
John Welneski LAST week. -
Quite number from here attended
the auction at d. sheedy's Of Swan
River Monday. 80. ~. =, 81 :.4:
Misses Ruth and Dora. jacobson ., q,
WIN have been attending The a9rlcul:
tural school la Minneapolis retorned
, 81 LII
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1911-03-24
r. r. D. NO. 8

March "a. K. Stone tranacted
business in the county eeatxSaturday.
Ed. Harrington called il. this vicini-
ty Friday. =;
sons visited atJ. NJ. L ambert's Sunday.
81. Zimmerman has about completed
his new barn. -
Frank Posch went to Little Falls Sat:
urday. .. =
Mrs. j. NJ. Lambert and daughter
visited at FL, e. Lambert's Saturday.
Miss Minnie Stone visited friends IN
Little Falls Saturday.
Mr.. 3. Olson returned rom Bra1nesd
Saturday to which place she was
called by the illness of her mother.
Mr.. and Mrs. z. Anderson drove to
Royalton Monday.
/ Miss Sadie: Anderson visited Miss
Anna Zimmerman Sunday.
j. NJ. Lambert was a Royalton
visitor Monday.
N. O.. Anderson, who has been at
Brainerd - visiting bis mother, re-
turned to his home Friday.
Thomas MacDougall drove to Royal.
ton Saturday.
George Chapman, Harvey and Leslie
Muncey and Frank Pos CD were Royal
ton callers Monday. j.,
James MacDougall and sister, Miss
Rose, visited at Woodland Monday. "
Alex Cash sawed wood at II. Tim.
mernan's last week.
w. e. Brockway drove to Royalton
Friday,
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1911-03-24
SWANvlLLE

March 21.-Miss Hnlda Muske re-
TUNED from st. Paul Wednesday.
were she has been attending the Pion-
Ger Business college the past six
months. She has completed the steno'
graphic course and is home for two
weeks vacation before she begins
work in real estate Office IN st. Paul.
William Millender and two sons ar
rived from Little Falls Wednesday fol-
a visit the home of Mrs. j. Hall. Sr.
I Mrs. sllender reached here the next
DAY AMI will yemai6 hare until she re.
gains LII health which has been very