New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-16

,ne farm horses and IL you are really
you VIII fall Off before he bets out of
go oaihEard gate. II you don't there are
experiences and sadder blisters IN
store for you
-, oah navigate horse at dead run
you are all right for that is the only COM
'or'aoie gait the average farm horse can
piouuce' Your luck has failed YOU II YOU
o'o orawn trotter. Riding a trotting
ousht 10 be added TO the menu Of
.,aiu iaoors that 60 to make our peniten-
eooo places to keep away from.
erhaps you go on picnic. You are i'm
ineoiately besieged by the vicious armies
Vi 'he insect world. Some of them bite
ana others pinch, and stu others simply
make you Itch for the rest OF the long
week. Ants invade the spread tablec,oth
ana get into everything in great numbers.
nere are also several varieties of these
intelligent little animals that have a full
SCI Oh sharp pincers concealed about their
persons somewhere. Mosquitoes? Clouds
OF 'hem' and all armed to the eye teeth.
II was left to thoughtful resident OF
Arkansas-that most eccentric of our sovs-
reign states-to discover any good In the
inquistive mosquito.
The insect has been slandered by blind
humanity" observed a self-made Arkansas
philosopher. II don't know Of any sensa-
ton that is more delightful than that OF
scratching fresh mosquito blte." Think
that over and you'll see there's a great
deal to It after ALL
It's mostly married people with families
that go to the farm, though. We young
oloods have to beat IT. for some resort by
the sad sea waves. where the festive fe-
male OF the species also Is wont to disport
herself in the singular.
Some Of these days there is going to be
school established that will take man
and put him through scientific course
that will fit him in every way to spend his
hard saved roll ut a seaside resort.
First he would be taught to swim or
course. there may be no demand for the
exercise OF this water locomotion; but then
again there might 1t cannot be denied
that some of the most alluring hot weather
romances of fact and fiction have had their
origin In the rescue Of beautiful and drown
ing young women by handsome and ex-
pert young men. How are you going into
the briny deep and get back to shore with
fair damsel in your mouth If you don't
know the overland stroke. Harold?
You'd have TO let the Newfoundland dog
or the lfesaver do the rescue, and no
matter how bravely you ran for help there
wouldn't be any great deal Of thanks COM
ing to You when they had rolled her on the
barrel and got her back to where she
looked like something.
After learning to swim you would be put
through q special course IN summer canoe
ing. 1t takes a life of application to learn
TO handle one Of the skittsh craft with any
degree of success but by means of scientific
textbooks and charts the teachers could
get few of the rudiments of canoe navi-
cation into your head
They would show you how to lean over
and pick the golden water lilies, how to
keep from hitting with your clumsy pad
die the fair hand that always trails back
in the water and how TO arrange the pill
lows beneath the languid passenger with
out having need for your swimming lessons.
Also II is something of feat TO kiss
girl in a light canoe. That feat should be
taught on the first page OF the textbook.
Oh. there's a bunch OF other lore you'd
have to pick up before you would be able
TO hold your own against all corners! a
knowledge Of golf is indispensable. Tennis
must be tackled and beaten into submis-
sion. And right here let me say that II
any Of you have an idea that tennis Is
game for nilksops he might as well relieve
his brain Of the storage room Of that mis-
taken imDresson Tennis IS a form or
hard work that ranks right up In front
with horseback riding and toiling with
wheat thrasher. You must also know
how TO tame hammock and be full TO the
neck with romance.
And YOU don't stand show IN the
world IL you aren't love Of dancer. All
OF these suppositions, of course. go on the
theory that the girls form the greatest
mart Of the resorts attractions for you
And II they don't there's something wrong
with your makeup. You aren't naturai.
The summer resort school would snow