The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-06-07
THE LAUGH FACTORY.
Boss Gets the Hand. to Work Over
Wavback Jokea.

Wayback jokes.
THE professor Of humor took his
place at his desk. and after the
students had been seated he
YEARLY opened his notebook and be-
gan.
Gentlemen" he said. this morn
ing's recitation will be on variants Of
the Notador joke. Mr.. Hawkins. you
will please begin by telling us the first
version Of the Notador JEST"
"When is a door not a doorT' droned
Mr.. Hawkins. when it's ajar."
Fright" said the professor, with a
weary sigh. "Mr. wilkins, when do
we find the first variant upon this
Originally"
I'm the days of socrates," replied
Mr.. Wilkins.
"That Is correct" said the professor.
"You may give us the variant"
"'When is a jaw not a jawT asked
Xanthippe as she poured out Socrates
morning cup Of hemlock. When it's
a-waggin',' answered Socrates, much
to the lady's disgust" replied MI.
Wilkins.
Every good. Mr.. wilkins" said the
professor. his eyes filling with tears.
do we find any form Of this jest in
the Scriptural period, Mr.. Slithers?"
asked the professor after getting his
emotions under control.
Implied only" said Mr.. Slithers.
"You may state it." groaned the pro-
fessor.
"'When is a rat no a rat" asked
Shem," growled Mr.. Slithers. When
It's an Ararat,' answered Ham,"
"Ha-hum!" said the professor.
scratching his head. THAT is a pref
ty fair answer. Mr.. Slithers, but it is
not the M given in my lecture. We
are not DESTROYS of encouraging orig
fnal thought among our students this
term. You may give me the instance
quoted in my lecture"
g." wasn't here that day. professor"
said Mr.. Slithers.
"Then Mr.. Blabbington may answer
the question:" said the professor.
"'When is a verb not a verb? asked
the queen of Sheba. when it's a
proverb,' replied Solomon, with a wink
at Mrs. S.. Series j., No. 1885," replied
Mr.. Blabbington.
THAT is correct, Mr.. Blabbington,"
said the professor, Except in the mi
nor detail of Mrs. Solomon's number.
The lady referred to was No. 1897, Sc
| ries G."
"Mr. Hickleberry, you may give me
the barnyard version of the Notador
jest" continued the professor, taking
a deep draft of black coffee to keep
himself awake.
"When Is a chicken not a chicken?'
began Mr.. Hickleberry.
Eyes, go on, Mr.. Hickleberry," said
| the professor. "When is a chicken not
q chicken?"
"Why, when it's ~a-er-when it's an
| APPLE" said Mr.. Hickleberry, hesitat'
ing much, however.
"When it's an apple?" retorted the
| professor sharply. "How absurd, Mr.
Hickleberry! That is an answer that
absolutely destroys the value Of the
jest. Now, think a moment. Put your
mind IN the proposition-when Is o
chicken not a chicken"
"You said in your lecture that q
chicken was not a chicken when II
was an APPLE" replied the embarrass
ed student. cor ut least I so under
stood you, professor"
II said nothing of the kind, sir" re
torted the professor with a frown Of
displeasure. "Mr. Wagstaff. perhaps
you can tell Mr.. Hickleberry what
did ~say-when is a chicken not a chick
en?"
"When it's a-pippin', sir" replied Mr.
Wagstaff.
Correct" said the professor.
Just at this point the bell rang, ant
the class in humor passed out, while
the professor retired to his study t.
prepare his next days lecture on "th'
chestnuts of the preadamite period."-
Harper's Weekly.