Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1909-1915, 1911-03-03
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BY SARAH BAXTER
Copyright by American Press Assoc
ciationn 1911.

Being woman with no children and
not content with the occupation house
keeping alone gave me, decided TO go
into the business Of raising SQUADS for
market. Having ample room in my
back yard, erected dovecotes there
and put In a dozen pairs of pigeons
About the time began to think Of SELL
Ing my surplus on counting my young
birds missed several Of them. There
was leak somewhere.
Behind our place, facing on another
road. was shanty in which lived
German cobbler named Hans schrei-
Der. One night, hearing a noise in my
back yard, went out with a dark
lantern and flashed 1t on Schreiber get.
ting over the back fence. He was
warned that the next time he was
caught In our yard he would be prose.
cuted under the law. He put on a
great deal Of injured innocence, but
continued to steal my squads. Finally
I caught him again, had him arrested
and the next morning appeared against
him in court
"Jutch," he said to the court, assum-
Ing the expression of martyr, 81 leaf
1t to you wedder a poor man like me
can affort to eat squap. How woult
know l like squap If don't know
how dey taste. I got to puy 'em first.
hafn't I, to know wedder like 'em?"
That's very ingenious argument.
Hans" said the prosecutor, taking up
the case. "but it won't work. Did you
never taste any kind of game duck.
quail, snipe?"
"Neffer. Do you take me for a shen.
tleman?"
you've eaten young chickens.
haven't you"
"Pro1lers! You think can affort to
eat proilers? All t. proilers 20 into
houses Of shentlemen like you. Pc
sites, ven t. proilers are two years
oft dom like EN-"
GLOW can a broiler be two years
old?" asked the prosecutor II should
consider chicken two years old
pretty aged bird"
"a proiler not pc two years olt!
HIN! Yo' 60 to t. colt storage house.
Yo' flint 'em tree, four, fife years oft"
"We're not trying the cold storage
men," said the prosecutor "We're
trying you, Hans Schneider, for steal
Ing Mrs. Perkins squads. What did
sausage"
Anything else?"
"Breat und coffee"
"Are you sure you didn't eat squab?"
"Sure."
Hans, did you ever hear of Herr
Roentgen?"
mo"
HE discovered process by which
one may look inside the body and see
what's there"
Hans looked uneasy.
"Now I'm going" continued the pros
ecutor, Ito use one Of these machines
to look inside your stomach, and if /
find SQUAD there his honor will send
you up for long term. If you will
confess I'll ask him to let you off with
small ine-just enough to pay for
the birds you have stolen. Now, will
you submit to the test or confess?'
'Vat is t. principle Of t machine?"
asked Schreiber
The lawyer was bit staggered
'The principle is that peculiar light
called the Roentgen ray illuminates a
mans inside and shows what is there"
The prisoner thought awhile. then
said:
81 like t. see how dat is done. You
show me vat you hat for breakfast dis
morning. und tell you what | do
Come. come" said the lawyer stern.
ly, enough of this. Send for the
machine"
He whispered to an attendant to 20
to an optician near by and bring a
certain instrument he designated.
When 1t arrived the German looked at
1t with much interest 1t consisted Of
two brass cylinders. with glasses at
each end mounted Oh an upright.
"Now, Hans" said the attorney. "be-
fore applying the test I'll give you one
more chance. Will you confess?"
Hans hesitated The, instinct Of in,
vestigation Indigenous with his race
struggled. with his fear OF detection
At last be said: ?sG@ !
'"1f YOU 'fnt the squap in my stom-
ach how long for I go to shall r. ~
The lawyer looked at the Judge, Who
was watching this new method Of TRIAL
much amused. ',~7'
"Thfrfy 'days;;" said his honor. =:
II risk it." said Hans. ''Look' into
my stomach." -'1:5H'A'
II withdraw the charge" said,
coming TO the lawyers rescue. E
1.-THE charge is withdrawn" said The
Judge: struggling to repress laughter.
'tPrisoher. If another such 'chargeefri Is
made against you and you are proved
guilty RI send you UP for six montfisr.''
''''I wants to- see." said the prisoner.
vat vent truh my stomach dis morn
ing" ~
That's not necessary now." said
the prosecutor, "since the charge has
been withdra wn and his honor has -dis.