davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

bon or Motley wrote history He could not do it. Can you imagine Bucephalus in the blow? Your historian, even Macau- lay, must consent to be Dobbn and tell laboriously searching for a commonplace fact.
 who gave us a picture of Queen Anne's time that it were impossible for Gibbon, or Hume, or even Macaulay to achieve. Swift tried it. but who reads Swift? Who does not read Thackeray? You may say that Dumas pictured the period I men, ton in the Valols series of novels. So he
 i'd. and he d.d it capitally, so far as the narration of incident, historical or imas- mary. is concerned. But there is not sermon nor satire in all Dumas. and Mars Henry Is master of both and mas terSof style that Dumas could not ap- proach and never dared to attempt. l venture to say that ii Mars Henry would write 25,Oo0 words on the adbication and the retirement of Charles V, laying him self out to be as discursive as he pleased, just So he were a little less so than that old reprobate, Laurence Sterne, painting the scenes, glancing at the careers, ana analyzing the characters Of the scamps and demi-reps there assembled, preach Ing q lay sermon here. dealing out invec- tive there, and employing satire liberaily, he would make paper as popular SIS Thackeray or Dickens, and all the read Ing world would own him benefactor and crown him with the laurel of immortality.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

a tory. is apparently selected as the champion of Ulster. A good friend of mine. referring to the home rule pro- gramme of the government, says, '"They can't do it! I tell ye, they'll niver, niver do it! The Ulster men will fight and stop it! Yell see, they will niver git home rulel" And that is the persuasion of MT. Law and his Praetorian guard of privilege and tradition, themselves insurgents and rebels. But he who lives will see the Tide at full when the Rock will be quite hid den He may see Jupiter Balfour shining again quite radiantly, though the little moon of Bonar Law has disappeared, red though she is in the present political fog which envelops all the conservative heav- ems and earth.
 To come out of it for a moment: 1 may venture to assert that in the recent cleo ton at Oldham, a great industrial con- stituency, wherein the liberal-labor vote was split so as to let the conservative minority win the seat. all candidates praised the Social Insurance Bill, and the conservative candidate thought it neces- sary to his success that he should disown Protection as a present issue. Moreover two-thrds of the voters indorsed with en- thusiasm the home rule programme for Ireland.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

that's what he is. Aint it about time to give a verdict and have a bit of fun, Sheriff-"
 And then is heard great commotioi outside. Strapper goes to the door ant returns with woman. Her expression of intense grief silences them as the, crane over one another's heads to SC, her.
 Blaneo-That woman aint' real! You take care! That woman will make you do what you never intended. That's the rainbow woman. That's the woman who brought me to this.
 The Woman-I took the horse to save my childs life. I thought 1t would take me to a doctor in time. It was choking with croup.
 Blanco-(strangling and trying to laugh), A little choker. that's the word for him. His choking wasn't real. Wait and see mine!
 The Sheriff-Wheres the child?.
 Strapper-On Pug Jacksons bench in his shed. He's making a. coffin for it.
 Blanco-Dead! The little Judas kid, The child I gave my life for.
 The Woman-I took the horse from a man who met me. I thought God sent him to me. The man looked a bad man. He cursed me and he cursed the cbild-God forgive him BUT SOMETHING CAME OVER HIM. I was desperate. I put the child in his arms; and it got it's little fingers down his neck and called him Daddy and he tried to kiss him for 1t was not right in his head with the fever. He said 1t was little Judas
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

It was about the time his friend and neighbor, Col. Bob Woolley, swore that TO "d--n Yankee festival' should be celebrated in his house, that Mars Henry wrote an editorial on Thanksgiving that, for the occasion, was equal to Thackeray's picture of Marlborough in the chapter of Henry Esmond entitled, "T Make the Cam paign of fT94." On this occasion Col. Enl- melt Logan, the editor in chief Of the Evening Times, ordered me to write an editorial on Thanksgiving. I handed him the Couriei-Journal with Mars Henry $ ration that was flat mutiny. Then I left my desk and me and Brother Hooper spent the rest of the day at Larry Cato <, where We took turn reading aloud Mars Henry on the Yankee Festival"
 The man who wrote that Thankssiving editorial could picture the France ana Spain, the Netherlands. England and Italy, from the coronation of Francis I to the assassination of Henry ", in volumes that would live as long as letters survive
 Instead. Mars Henry has the thant,ess job of editor of an American political newspaper and thus he Illustrates Che lines:
 You can and you can't,
 sYou will and you won't;
 You'll be damned if you do,
 And you'll be damned If you don't"
 And yet Mars Henry has had somo fun,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

A last we have to take Bernard
 "A Shaw seriously. No more as the 4 \ jester or the satirist does he ap near in this story of the horse-thief;- ia ther as a physician of souls, seeing underneath the excrescences Of the so- cial system--finding in the heart of the worst criminal, embers of truth that may he famed into white flame. In this play Iothins&is more clearly evidenced than fls belief in the ultimate salvation or society but so long as we scofn and kll he thinks, we will not get far forward Az other thoughtful sociologists, he has not despaired and agonized over current systems of metng out justice to the err .ng;-rather he has scolded us for our blind hatreds and petulance. And true Fabian that he is he has let an outcast person deliver this scolding-or sermon, I call it-though one that has not been preached heretofore, think, save In half hearted fashion by a few judges in crim- ,,al courts, or by a few women in res- cue work.
 We left Blanco last Sunday talking with Elder Daniels. He will not confess save to this brother, that he took the horse: and not even to him will he tell what he did with 1t. In his blindly sh- perstitions way hel thinks that God spir' ited the horse away from him so that he might be caught by the Sheriff's posse. He who had so long hated God, believes that "he's a sly one-he's a mean one he plays cat and mouse with you-and then he's got you.'' And his capture, i1e believed, ended his warfare with God. He would see the Sheriff and the jury In
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03
OF BLANCO POSNET-By A. B. Bealle

1 Go take blow without giving it back.
 and to get dollars. When they talked | the Golden Rule to me L looked at them as if they weren't there, and spat. But when they told me to live my life so 1 that I could always look my fellowman 1 straight in the eye and tell him to go tc hell, that fetched me.
 "Yes; but whats come of it all? Am a
 real bad man? a man of game and grit? d man that does what he likes and goes over or through other people to his own gain? or am I a sniveling cry-baby that let a horse his life depended on be took from him by a woman, and then sat on the grass looking at a rainbow and let himself be took like a hare in a trap by Strapper Kemp? :. I'm a rottener frauu Than the Elder here. And you're all as rotten as me or you'd have lynched me Voice from the crowd-We can do it yet if you feel really bad about it. Banco--No. The devils gone ont of
 you. We're all frauds. There's none
 of us real good and none of us real
 bad.
 Elder Daniels-There's One above,
 Planco.
 Blanco-What do you know about Him? you that always talked as if He never did anything without asking your rotten leave first? Why did the child die !! Tel me that if you can. He cant have wanted to kill the child. Why did He make me go soft on the child if He Was going hard on 1t Himself? Why should He go hard on the innocent Kid and gc, soft on rotten thing like me? Why did go soft myself? Why did Feemy go soft? Whats this game that upsets our
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

with Strapper,
 Feemy-Oh you liar,
 Blanco-I accuse Feemy of immoral relations with every man in this town, including yourself, Sheriff. I say this is a conspiracy between Strapper and Feemy to kill me. say that she's not had the oath, and that you daren't for the honor of the town give her the oath because her lips would blaspheme the Holy Bible if they touched it *s
 This Is typical of the trials progress Feemy is not allowed to kiss the Book but being duly sworn testified that she saw Blanco ride past her house on the Sheriffs horse. Two hours later Blanco was overtaken by Strapper and Squinty Strapper testified that you (Blanco) was looking at a rainbow like damned silly fool instead of keeping your senses about you; and we stole up on you and had you tight before you could draw a bead on us.'
 The Sheriff-That don't sound like good sense. What would he look at a rainbow for?
 Blanco-I'll tell you. Sheriff. I was looking at it because there was some- thing written on it.
 The Sheriff-How do you mean writ ten on it?
 Blanco-The words were I've got cinch on you this time, Blanco Posnet." Yes, Sheriff. I saw those words in green on the red streak of the rainbow; and as I saw them I felt Strapper's grab on my arm and Squinty's on my pistol.
 A Bystander-He's shammin mad:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03
THE SERMON

hell before he would confess that God had beaten him.
 I need room, room. room here to give you the whole of this trlal--to picture for you the sullen jury, hating the ma,i Blanco, already condemned in their minds; the oaths and the ribaldry ana the lawlessness between those four walls. And in the center of all, cordially hated by all, the dishevelled prisoner. alternate ly swearing at the crowd, taunting the women and making mock of the Sherih.
 Presently Strapper Kemp appears with hIs witness, Feemy Eyans--a young wo- man of 23 or 24, with impudent manners, battered good looks, and dirty-fine dress. She is a prostitute-a common drab- and at present on intimate terms with Strapper. She Is glad to accommodate Strapper by testifying.
 Feemy-Thats the little lot that was
 on your horse this morning, Strap
 per Not doubt of it.
 Blanco-Go home and wash your
 self, you slut.
 Feemy-Tll hang you. you dirty horse-thief, or not man in this
 camp will get word or look from
 me again. You're just trash: that's
 what you are. White trash. Blanco--And what are you, darling? What are you? You're a worse danger to town than ten horse thieves. The Sherff-You say you saw this man on my horse? Feemy--I did.
 Blanco--And I ate it, suppose. be- fore Strapper fetched up with me? Suddenly and dramatically Sheriff. accuse Feemy of immoral relations
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

kid, and that it was betraying him with a kiss, and that he'd swing for it. And then he gave me the horse and went away crying and laughing and singing dirty wicked words to hymn tunes like as if he had seven devils in him--''
 The Sheriff-Here: we've had enough of this! F'eemy Evans, Was the prisoner the man or not the man? On your oath
 Feemy--On my oath and as I'm 8 living (flinching) Oh God! he felt the little child's hands on his neck! can't-(bursting into a flood of tears and scolding at the other woman) It's you with you sniveling face that has put me off it. desperately NO! It wasn't him. I only said it out of spite because he insuted me. May l be struck dead if I saw him with the horsei
 Blanca whispering at her) Softly! Cry-baby! Landed like me. Doing what you never intended,
 And after his shewing-up this is tho sermon that the new Blanco Posne' preached, standing on a table and ad' dressing that strange crowd:
 Dearly beloved brethren: This is $ rotten world I'm a fraud and . failure. I started in to be a bad mar llze the rest of you. I took the broad path because I thought I was man and not a canting turning the other cheek apprentice angel serving his tim, In vale of tears. They talked Chris ianity to us on Sundays; but when they ,ealy meant business they told us never
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03
THE OCCUPATION ARTHUR BALFOUR-By George D. D.

Supposing it possible for the present governments coalition majority to bo broken. there is no prospect of unity in the conservative ranks, and little hope that in another general election they could retain even their present strength
 Let them criticise, as they may. ths present conservative opposition in Eng land is in conflict with as capable and courageous and resourcefully progressive l group of political thinkers as ever made an English cabinet. For the first time in history since Cromwell Birnam wood has come to Dunsinane, and appears able to root itself there. The castle of Priv ilege will go on dropping to pieces, musr again and again be overrun by the forces of righteousness and retribution. The ob- scuration of Arthur Balfour has happened when he is but 63 years of age, some years earlier than was the eclipse of Gladstone. But Gladstone came back again and pushed the advanced guard of reform 8 title closer to the battlements of the en- emy When Balfour re-emerges will 1t bo
 O lead a forlorn hope of the dying garri- son. who by that time may have grown tired of being beaten back under the now eagerly welcomed and acclaimed guidance of a ruthless idealist?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

statesman. Hence I dare not say that he has suffered eclipse. Rather he is in oc- cultation, hidden by that fearsome figure, Mir. Andrew Bonar Law, a Protectionist, a Presbyterian, a Canadian Scot a preachers son, and business man in politics.
 A much quoted passage in Macaulay de- scribes MT. Gladstone in his youth as the hope of the stern and unbending tories. MT. Law is the hope of the old tories as wei as the young. He is young, a widower with six children, and politician by di- vine necessity. And MT. Bonar Law is now the leader of the conservative party. Naturally one would have supposed that when the tory or conservative or unionist party needed leader in place of Balfour either MT. Walter Long or MT. Austen Chamberlain would have been inevitable MT. Long is a shining light in tariff re- form and in the policy of withstandine progress. MT. Austen Chamberlain Is the respectable son of his brilliant father Joseph, but he has not inherited that bril- liancy, though he has adopted his father s monocle and his fathers orchid button hole Wonder in the shadowy murk hov- CTS also the weird Merlin figure of Lord Halsbury, nearly 90 years old, and ready to die in the ditch rather than allow tn,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

House of Peers to be curbed. What does Merlin say in the dusk?
 By virtue of the law of motion in the direction of least resistance, MT. Bonar Law has emerged, blazing, portentous, and MT. Arthur Balfour is hidden. But only for time. MT. Balfour is going to stay in parliament and he Is not going to be dumb. Neither is his sinuous fndirec- tion and subtlety to be unfelt by MT. Law. As Jupiter emerges behind the moons pale disk, so may we not expect that MT. Balfour will again appear and shine when there is no Bonar Law any where in the wide political heavens?
 This appears as possible: The newly elected chief of the conservative party will be the logical premier whenever the liberals lose their majority in parliament. It is therefore MT. Laws ambition to break the coalition of Irish, labortes, rad icals and liberals which holds MT. As quith in power. The Opposition so far has demonstrated both it's essential hood lumism and it's lack of real cohesion It's insurgents desire to change the commer- cial life of England in face of unprece- dented prosperity and expansion They 1esire to cajole the wage earners into vot- ing for tax on bread, in the face of an increased cost Of living which makes the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

angry, cast Aladdin into a deep cave. He thought his end had come and so lifted up his hands In prayer to Allah. As he did this he mapped to rub the ring, and instantly. as my edition of 1912 has it. "a genius appeared to do his bidding whatever that might be- Of course, Aladdin wanted to return home. No sooner said than done. Home is he carried with his ring, his lamp and lots of jewels which he gathered on his way through a magical garden which lay between him and the lamp. All of which went to prove to the African
 magician, in fact, not in words, that sometimes "vaulting ambition o'erlaps It. self and falls on t'other" side. ,- remember another instance in which ring figured I am writing from memory and may not be absolutely cor rect in every detail but 1 know that tn the main, the essential facts are as shall give them l say facts for such believe them to be. Hume, in his history of England, gives the story: Knight in his history relates it. but seems not to credit it. The story was originally related by kinswoman of the countess ramed. This is the story:
 When the Earl of Essex was in high favor with Queen Elizabeth, she gave him a ring as token of her esteem: telling him if he ever needed her pro- lection to send the ring to her and -sh ould give him the aid that lie sought
 Essex being in prison and condemned to death, sent the ring to tho Queen. by. mistake, however, it was placed in the hands of Catherine. the Countess or Nottingham, who showed 1t to her hus- band, an enemy of Essex. He coni- manded her to keep it, and not to send it to the Queen This cruel thing was done. Time passed. Finally, the coIn- te-ss came to her deathbed and sent for Elizabeth, saving, there was sonie- thing on her mind that prevented her dying in peace." Upon the Queens ar- rival the countess disclosed her -treacfl- cry, and asked for forgiveness. Tho Queen in violent passion. turned from her In scorn. and said. God may for give you. but l. neverl" The Queens thought that Essex would not send the ring because of his obstinacy.
 Lord Coke said that this story of the rins could not have happened. because Elizabeth died before the Countess .. Nottingha: but he seems mistake. about his dates. For the countess died in February, and Elizabeth died. as -~<>~~~
 CONTINUED ON PAGE 90l
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

ferrendum, and Recall and such "Tomfoolery buziness" originated by man in these sturring polytical times, but if "Votes for Wimmin" is evver reealized throughout this country and becums part of our polytical sys-- tenn for them to vote upon evvery and all questions, beleeve me, we will have sum issue besides which the Inisia- tive and Refferrendum will look like statesman like ediet frum the mas sive brane of Thomas Jefferson, or Danile Webstur, insteed of a brane storm frum that polytical spasm Willyum J. We will have issues. to settle by the ballot in less than three yeers aftur they once get into the thing, that to try to solve would drive the greatest prohibisionist and total abstainer in the world frum his high sect on the Water Waggin to the frunt row at the neerest bar where he would try to drown his sorrow and rest his fateeged mind. And this is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

claiming him as there verry own. If we had lost all aftur hard fite; a fite that would have gone down in history as sum scrap; fite that would .have maid Birmingham famus forever as the home of Bald-hedded men, we could have been reconsiled, but for Gully to be tricked into the camp of the enemy without so much as the firing of gun, is indeed a sumner.
 On the nite of the 23d of November we attended banquet to do honor to Osker Underwood, and to promote his chances for the presidency, and we weer gay and festive, and houghty and proud, we felt like that us men weer the "Hole Cheese" on that gay and august occasion; for there we weer counselling with one anuther ovver the grave affairs of the na- sion, and preparing to send an ideal representatives of our sex fourth be- fore the peepul, as "new star that has risen in the south," to quote an
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

game? For seems to me there's, two games bein played Our game is rot- ten game that makes me feel I'm dirt and that you're all as rotten dirt as me. T"other game may be a silly game; bur 1t aint rotten When the Sheriff played it he stopped bein rotten When Feemy played it the paint nearly dropped of. her face. When l played 1t cursed n.y. self for a fool; but lost the rotten feel all the same.
 "It was the early days when God made the croup I guess. It was the best He could think of then; but when it turned out wrong on His hands He made you and me to fight the croup for Him. You bet He didn't make us for nothing. and He wouldn't have made us at alf if He could have done His work without us By Gum, that must be what we'ro forl He'd never made us rotten black guards like me and good for nothing rips like Feemy. He made us because He's got jobs for us. He let me run loose til the job was ready; and then I had to come along and do it. hanging or no hanging. And I tell you, it didn't feel rotten: it felt bully, just bully, Anyhow got the rotten feel off me for a minute In my life
 Elder Daniels--Be of good cheer,.
 brothers. Fight on. Seek the path.
 Blanco--NO. No more paths. No
 more broad and narrow. No moro l
 good and bad. There's no good and !;
 no bad; but by Jiminy, gents.
 there's rotten game and there's
 great game, but the great game was
 played on me; and now Pm for the
 great game every time. Amen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-03

and MT Redmond manage to keep still oellowing and belching radical and red not shot. He is physically beset by in- vading germs of influenza and so proves
 ack of that rugged and robust energy which is the first great necessity of a statesman; and one cannot wonder at his
 ate confession that he must seek recuper- ation by rest. But there is such thing as the duty of being robust, so that whenever the strain may need a man the man may match the strain.
 On the other hand MT. Balfour has proved that he has sound common sense and knows when to leave well enough alone Not all the authority of MT. Cham berlain and his son could avail to make Balfour a friend of Protection. Probably this was the first cause of his retirement. His sagacity showed him how vain was the hope of withstanding the clipping of those privileges of the House of Lords which had come down out of medieval days. And this was the second and mme- diate occasion of the rebellion of the con- servative party against their chief. But his real defect was a psychical uncertain ty, a deep-seated constitutional habit of weariness, which has at last proved that, statesman though he undoubtedly was, he was undoubtedly far from a great