davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09
Just the Thlno.

"Can you give my constituent here
a job on your railroad?" asked the
state senator
But he can't talk English"
Well. give him a job calling
trains. - Louisville Courier.Jour
nal.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09
Matrinnnlal Mote

Some men cannot distinguish be.
tween an exaggeration and a wife.
baltimore Evening Sun.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

a man who can quit the tobacco
habit can do anything
Except one thing
What
-fIe cant quit boasting about u "
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09
THEN 1T HAPPENED"

The sanitary squad was out early
on this gray morning. They we're
hating all milk wagons The pa
pers had been kicking about un-
healthy milk and "a was up to the
department to get busy.
Came along a wagon OF the Aqua
Pura Dairy. The squad hoisted a
20gallon can OF the white fluid 10
the curbstonc. One husky balanced
the can on the curbstone while the
chief bacteriologist. showed a test.
Ing instrument into a pint sample.
"Putrid," said the chief bacteri.
ologigt.
THE END.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

Babies creep before they walk.
Taekiina nsss venture. man 10
baby. so TO speak.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

Bailey helped I.orimer t.orimer
would get beautiful reception In
Texas helping Bailey. says a man
who has lived In Texas.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09
BUSINESS Is BUSINESS

that the neckbands shrink
Mauufac,wercant help twere too busy make them better
~
Our neehbandN.
shoppers
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

BY roundabout methods Chicago
almost got the same results AZ by
a direct primary In It's mayoralty
nominations Chicago now aud then
shows q flash Of intellect.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

Kansas thieves we're arrested AZ
they were about 20 sell a church
bell az Junk. The bell must have
toiled on them.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

Three thousand one hundred and
sixty eight Americans are resident
In China.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

Eastern millionaire excused from
paying allmony because he Is In a
sanitarium Watch for bis boom
IN sanitariums nov
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09
HoBsoN's CHOICE

PTcty 10 Nevada Killed a0mebody chooae
homi
edea
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09
RIRI)S

wfeut funny dear article which they have
birds
a iagaf
Hnbaud-They probably politics dispense.
enabled
Al The sam
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

The lass who loves = sailor must
absent minded be. for II she loves
him truly her thoughts are all at
sea.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

Il has reached point now that
we know II is lent when we no
tice somebody else keeping u.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

To be good ~ noble To teach
others how to be good Is also noble,
and much easier
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

. And there IL even a happiness =
. That makes the heart afraid =
Tom Hood =
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

From shaking the furnace We NOS
arise.
With curvature Of the spine,
Only to ahudder 20 see on the skies
The beating the carpet line.
From shoyclinE the snow We turn
with JOY.
With our backs bent two feet
lower.
only 10 stumble. in daylight and
dark.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09
In the EditOr'SM Mail

W seldom get fair hearing.
Yours truly.
W. HORSMAN
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

q Little fishes la the brook
4 Father catches with a hook; =
q Then comes home with honest q
q eyes
= Aud tells a mammoth string OF =
q lies.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09
gXo WHY NOT SMILE AWS1ILE2 Na
Star Dust

$3.50 ERr
a rooAVs GOOD SHORT ONE =
a "Iiavc you a spare room Ia =
Your flatF
NO. but stand tn With the =
ianitor. and when have =
guest over night he lots me q
use the telephone booth.
Kt%& ssExT .+~F '
It takes a crank TO make things
60 round.
n YOU have indigestion. expert
ment 60 find tho foods that you d.
gcst easily. aud always eat slowly
Walter Wlnans. sculptor. author
crack shot. champion breeder of
horses. "thc man With "A funny
mnstache. was horn in Russia Of
American parents
There arc 10 transatlantic tele'
graph cables.
Many a good story has been
spoiled by ycrboaity
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

over the old lawn mover
Baltimore Sun.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

It takes a crank TO make things
60 Mound
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

There are 10 transatlantic teie-
graph cables.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

Many a good story has been
spoiled by ycrbosity
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

ENeLAND's apparent plain. ordinary.
cratic measles Made Of clay, like the Of
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

"Of course. every woman hates To
grow old. Is Georgia Cooper's an.
awer to The Star interviewer. and
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-09

resolved that fa men arc more
other sort Sit the
ruh
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25
ASPECTS OF ARBITRATION

# the United States and Japan should abrae all points
OF difference between them might later
refer the undecided of the free emigration subjects to this
country The Hague? Under the procedure
and action merely held in allegiance by genean agreement
But who knows when radical party might control the ministry
at Toxic and demand apans full rights favored nation
Through the rule of arbitration could running any risk
of and the United States would have adverse udg
ment if rendered. what the political effect might be upon
politics at home. .....
The plan submit questions national honor the peace
tribunal we'll questions of indemnify proposal which
Roosevelt stouy resisting in The Outlook National
with many issues which full of latent peril For instance the
Monroe done We bound honor to maintain it. but
England whose rights wodpower ccmscrbes should want
submit judicial decision what would America do Probably
under of public opinion would choose instead abrogate
the arbitration treaty.
AS precedent condition such pact things would have
to be regarded settled whatever ancient grievances might remain
settled firmly the English occupation Of Gibraltar the German
occupation of AceLorrane and the American ownership of the
Philippines. The Monroe doctrine is of these.
No worldwide acceptance peace proposals can be looked for
until the nations consent let bygon be bygon begin
Then something ngt be done for the peaceab
though the question of honor will always
view OF the decisive ee upon the governing of sensitive
pabls opinion
will be that it is not clear sailing tor arbitration
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

cred the most probable heir to Jack
Johnson's throne, left for California
this morning. He will go to Los An
geles and after resting there for a
few days win proceed to San Fran
cisco to see his family, and his friend
and adviser. Billy Delaney.
American Horse Wins Big Race.
PARIS, May 14.-For the first time
this year an American owner cap
tured one Of the big events over the
Longchamps course. Colonel Millard
Hunsickers Bolidi II won the FLIES
trial prize, worth $4,000, from a good
field The distance was one mile and
Bolidi II finished a length in front Of
w. F. Latmans lie Becasse. The
betting was IL to against Bolidi II.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25
NO FORT ARMSTRONG SITE.

1t mistake to speak of the Fort Armstrong site No such
site is proposed for the Army barracks the fixed by the
gneers who the advisory staff of the War Department in all
matters of and Notifications being precisely where the Star said
eighth of mile inclusive of the place where the coal
piles and Camp Very located and eventually of the block used
by the Admiral for naval yard The site asked for exclusively
naval Fort Armstrong another matter The Star with all
the authority needs that the infantry barracks find and
drill space the rng land where Fort Armstrong
Gated that them there if the would not be mill
proposition and the only buildings designed for the plot
marked by the small eawork will be for the few who
battery moments thought will show that big infantry barracks
be built fort that if they take fire from nemy
Shells the heat would drive the defenders from their guns
The Chamber of Commerce has helped things by emphasizing
Fort Armstrong its telegram Mr. Mcclellan, though it hasn't
probably hurt anything The War Department will be guided only
by the advice of its and by the attitude of the Navy Depart
ment about relnqushng its roperty.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25
LITTLE INTERVIEWS

RALPH KFARNS-I've seen Fijian
flrewalkers but never a Hindu. When
/ was in Fiji many years ago fire-walk-
Jig was a tourist attraction. The Fiji
performance was attributed to kahuna-
ism and / have heard the fre-walkers
4, gite spectators to accompany them
across the red hot trail. l don't re-
member that the invitation was ever
accepted. however, as everyone SEEM
ed to have very great respect for
the soles of their feet
JUDGE CLEMoNs-4A "business''
Honolulu is all right, but we can have
Il BEAUTIFUL HoRoluiu, too, and the
hs beautiful It is. the more business
IL will get The pregnant suggestions
of Mr.. Pringle in Little Interviews"
of Tuesday (Which everyone who has
not read them, should hunt up and
read) and of General Macomb in the
newspapers of Monday, are we'll worth
while. A park along the waterfront,
as suggested by General Macomb,-
from the Alakea Wharf to Waikiki
would be a greai attraction, giving
grand views Of mountains and sea.
There is hardly anything of the kiEG
any there to co Lpace With the lights
of cunset on TAatuRs and the fo0t-
mills, or with the cloud effects at that
time of day, both seward and hill
ward, as seen from the beach roa|,
Nature has made the beach roa8 norl,
enough without much nlhAr .xnaDsa
lhan that OF .,ood highways, and the
more S,sra.int used in the setting Of
Ut IS, The better; for the unobstructed
view is the thing there. And, anyway,
clutter is no more desirable in the
case of parks than in the case of
household decoration. For instance,
We have got long way from the par
lors" of our fathers, filled to oppres-
siveness with knicknacKs and dust
catchers. Simplicity is progress, in
parks, too.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25
Uncle Walt
The Poet Philosopher

If you hook upon closely will see that Pm wreck I'm
the ultimate consumer and the neck When paronze the
butcher | filled with grief and groan; may ask
THE for beef mutton, but he always gives bone
FALL GUY When ask the smiling grocer pound OF sailed
fish, get mostly wrapping paper and a little wooden
dish When ask for wooden garments at the Jim Crow clothing
they hand and to for the
who spends the the oppngbock of fate he's the ut
he's the who pays the freight Every month
take bundle the that have trade for not rest in
comfort till little bills paid and for shoddy raimen and
bogus leather shoes and for bones and wrapping that
tai could and the bills of deadbea for the merchant
looks the ultimate for the losses his books But
wrange repne I'm the ultimate
sumner, and the cleavers always mine.
Copyright 1910, Matthew Adams WALT MASON.
Those who can't spare the for the
can wait for the moving pictures shows.
1t looks the forestry board would have hard times this
unless it peddles kndlng wood.
The La Toilette taking him by great many
relics of busted presidential booms.
The uarez bulhghs passengers from S. P trains
taking much needed
The skirt going rather, going
much as it
Reyes knock
while he at home
Perhaps he would Diaz not
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25
DURING WARM WEATHER.

Honolulu is pleasant at all times
of the year, but during the summer
months Haleiwa offers greater at
fractions to those who are inclined
to field sports as well as those who
demand quiet and rest. It is an ideal
spot and now is the time to get room
reservations for the summer vaca-
ton. Manager Kimball makes guests
comfortable. He arranges little en-
tertainments for them and looks after
the cuisine and service as it was
never looked after before. For long
or short summer vacation Haleiwa is
the spot.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25
THE ROAD TO HEALTH,

Don't complain Honouus ncesant and
They good for Every of them its way therapeutic
agent '-
Thunderstom kill anybody proportion their numbers
But they clear the and make the look and feel better
like the If the did and fret
and chae the Shore if settled down into dead tranquility would
get green it and produce mosquitoes
you what gives dog chance to live his allotted life?
If the dog had heas he would do nothing but eat and
would die of liver complaint The heas keep him moving
sleep he scratches and bites and he all the time
while awake trying the effect of changed position Some
times the feas bother him that he pitches into other dogs and that
is fine exercise all around ,... ,
D. We Honolulu turmoil local question with
rejoice and lassude, sot contened
peacefuness which yeas the lion and the lamb play
ing the green the poorest possible things tor Fqca Town
Pebtes are ton hot campaign for office thing that lowers
the death rate We have doubt that whenever Jack Lucas John
Lane and Charley Huace mix up the primaries S' uy e Del
ter aferward for months, if they don't say it,
So bhren beware of moyoddes and arbitration 70 m ana
disturb the peace the law will allow that your days may
be long and YOUR liver active your coaa drag the ground
Carry a chip Whoop up and live hundred years.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

JOSHUA TUCKER-No time for
holidays these days. l expect to be in
the office on Decoration Day.
E. A. BERNDT-To discontinue the
shippers wharf tax would be criminal
and can see no reason for doing it,
OSCAR WHITE do not think the
reply of the Shippers Wharf Cemmit;
tee will be regarded as satisfactory by
hte Merchants Association.
EX-SUPERVISOR QUINN-Where
is the screening ordinance recently de-
clared SO Important tried to pass
one when first went into Office, but
the board wouldn't have it.
SUPERVISOR LOW-The building
ordinance Is tremendous Cob. We
are trying to have law that will be
right, and it takes time. The board
worked on it till eleven o'clock last
night and will resume work tonight.
GEORGE LYCURGUS| have been
il business at the Grill eleven years
IN this is the dullest month yet. That
is what the cholera has done, and I
am afraid it will take some months
for the city to recover.
]. H. FIDDES-If you want to see
how Kaimuki has grown of late go
Up on the roof-garden of the Young
Hotel and look at the lights of the dis
trict. What a difference in the last
six months.
MOTOR OFFICER CHILTON-The
auto speeders lay low after an acci tent
but we keep on their trail and the
names of those who did the damage
nearly always leak out in course of
time,
q. q. GUILD-Tho amount of Amer
lean paper now being used in AuatE@'
ia for the printing of newspapers has
increased greatly within the last few
years. Formerly japan Supplied a lot
of it, but with the Increase in the
number Of papers there, she can only
turn out about enough for home con
sumption,
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

The Goodyear Rubber Company IS
to mark every leading highway on
the Pacific coast from San Diego TO
Tacoma. The road sign system viii
be a most elaborate one, and partly
in the nature of an advertisement
Motorists are planning a Pacific
coast tour which will be similar to
the Glidden tour of the East. The
trip will extend about 1000 miles,
from Mexico to the Canadian border ,
Several prominent automobile go,
ers have come out stron%iv aea,ns+
the yearly car, saying that it Ia NOT
fair to previous purchasers to an
nounce a hew style car every year,
"hlcn generally contains features
only good to make the car look "dif-
ferent" and make older models look
out OF date.
Kaufman on Way Home.
KANSAS CITY, Mo-, May 14-Al
Kaufman, until ten days ago consid-
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

Of the more fashionable establish
ments did Billy is the right man IN
the right place, remark which ap-
plies with equal force to number
of his guests
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

Of the more fashionable establish
ments did. Billy is the right man IN
the right place, a remark which APP
plies with equal force to number
of his guests.
900
There is a waiter at the Grill
whose rare ability as a dish juggler
is only equaled by his gift of repair
tee. The other day a guest drew ii
guaranteed potato-the kind whose
interior looks as if an ink bottle had
been upset over it, He called a
waiter and pointed the finger Of
scorn at the melancholy tuber.
What's the matter with it?" asked
the boy
Just look at it," exclaimed the
irate guest.
"You taste it," said the waiter,
ats not as bad as it looks"
900
According to the reports of the ac-
cident, ]. Harris Mackenzie killed
his engine We congratulate him on
having made less complete job OF
himself.
New moon a-shinin' through the
palm-tops,
Little stars a-winkin' clear and
bright;
Down by the sea, that's the place for
Most any old scented night.
Listenin' to the band a waltz tune
playin-
Watchin' lovin' couples as they
roam,
Sets one thinkin' hard of far Bright
toms esplanade,
And it almost seems like home.
600
Sh! Don't tell Cleanup" Carter
The rats have got a date in the palm.
600
some people enjoy the reputation
of being clever because they're not
such fools as some other people.
600
The wing of flying fish isn't as
popular round the local boarding
houses as the wing of chicken.
900
DO It Now" Ivan Dow
Sold Mayflower- don't know how;
Said that it would go to dollar,
Of its merits would loudly boiler.
Where is Dow Just about now?
l don't know, that 1 VOW;
Did Mayflower soar to Heaven?
Quoting in cents it's price is seven!
600
You can keep your word even If
you haven't anything else worth keep
ing.
He who writes and runs away
May live to write another day.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

There many good on the civic center petition but the
the The Star would
glad get copy the first five hundred and the last five
big roll and would cheeuy print them Then
better judgment could be had of the value of the whole roster
expression of public thought If cake made of sawds pointing
out the rasins in it doesn't prove it good to eat
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

with the kings English;
with bare feet he dances upon
bed of red-hot charcoal, and yestet-
day afternoon, at a private demon
stratior before newspaper men and
physicians, he gave an exhibition
which fairly chilled the witnesses,
for the charcoal was so hot that spec
tators had to hold their hands before
their faces"
Wouldn't that frost your
Sheer misfortune: A drop in oil
securities.
The Mayhower mine is reported to
have acquired a compressed air
plant. What appears to be most
needed, however, is cash com
pressor
Billy Woods, assistant manager OF
the popular Reef Hotel, reports Il
fairly busy season, and states thar
his hostelry didn't feel the effects OF
the recent epidemic as much as some
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

just the thing Now they they have to use the streams
where the cholera germs lately
FLASHED about sorry that they couldn't find more filth But the news
merely the the property owners on the beach,
where two with three outlets showing signs
of sitting up and reaching for their guns Verify there joyous row
ahead.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25
Under The. Cocoanut Tree"
BY H. M. Ayres.

The sensation of the week has
been the announcement that the five
gallon demijohns used locally hold
almost a quart too much. We never
suspected them of holding more
than the regulation four and three
quarter gallons.
900
Said a man on the street this
morning; THE report that Frear and
Kuhio shook hands at the steamer
yesterday is just as improbable and
far-fetched as that overweight demi-
john yarn which has been foisted on
the local public"
600
Mary had little rat
She hid it on a shelf
For fear the Sanitary Com.
Should come and help itself.
*Not the kind caught in traps.
10 90
The jolly, Jolly press agent (may
his metaphors never become mixed)
has been up to his old games again
Hearken to his latest experiment
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

Fine Job Printing at Star once.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

One out every couples married in Iowa 1910 d
vorced the Reno Promotion committee going
get special for Iowa. of the larger bust
this year.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-05-25

Let us hope of cholera won't break out while
the Sanitation Commission measuring the height Of roads and
ing into datepalm tops
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-04-20
TO BEGIN WORK ON CAMPS.
Freight For Powell & Mitchell Arrives
in Houghton Today.

Ed. Mitchell of Marquette, member
of the firm of Powell & Mitchell, con-
tractors for the canal breakwater re-
pairs, is making preparations at
Croze's shipyard for the commence
ment of the work. A big consignment
.of freight from Marquette, including
tools. groceries, blasting powder and
building material. arrived today. lie
will take this freight to Agate Har-
bor Keweenaw point, Saturday morn
ing and locate his camp at that place.
The camp is TO be virtually n little
village in itself There will be two
sleeping camps, a cook camp Office
boiler house and blacksmith shop and
several smaller buildings. About 35
men will work there all summer get
ting out the huge masses of trap rock
which are TO be sunk at the base of
the breakwater The work will take
AN summer and must be completed
within the present season Of naviga
ton unless the government engineers
decide to increase the contract later.
The contract includes the quarryng Of
10000 tons Of trap rock, transporting
.it TO the breallwater at the canal and
lowering it into place with a derrick.
A government inspector will DC
present on the work 10 weigh the
masses Of rock The inspector is yet
to be appointed but he will weigh the
rock through the displacement OF
water.
When Mr.. Mitchell has located his
camp and constructed his buildings hC
win take a scow to Marquette to equiT
it with machinery and a derrick II
probably win be several weeks before
actual operations on the contract are
commenced.