The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-04-06
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Sailed Ghosts
By LAWRENCE ALFRED CLAY
Copyright. 1910. by Associated Literary Press

pleasant day of it. The butcher, the
piano tuner and the lightning rod
man had all called the same after
noon and laid their hearts at her
feet She hadn't refused and tram
pied on them-oh, no! She had sim
ply said that she felt honored, and
If in the far-distant future-years
and years In the future-should she
desire to marry again
They had to be content with this
No wise widow ever turns man down
so completely as to leave him with
out hope to cling to. Mrs.
Armstrong went to bed happy and
fearless, but at midnight she was
awakened by sounds that made her
sit up in bed and gasp for breath.
Her bedroom window looked out on
the garden, and the sash was raised.
widow Armstrong" said a voice
that was certainly not human, II
am here to warn youi"
| She looked out. Under the apple
tree stood ghost. 1t was none OF
the vapory ghosts that wave for
ward and backward over the ground,
| but a so1id-looking chap in white who
stood firmly on his feet.
Widow" continued the voice, 'be-
ware Of the piano tuner! He is
doomed to go mad! Beware OF the
butcher! He will slay you as you
sleep, if you marry him! Beware OF
the lightning rod man. He will get
your last dollar and then abandon
you! Beware! Beware! Beware!'
And then Mr.. Ghost retreated
noiselessly and gave the frightened
widow chance to get her breath.
All the rest Of the night she lay with
her head covered up and expecting
the summons any moment, and she
was happy woman when the roost-
ers began growing for daylight.
Did she rush off to tell the neigh
bors as soon as she had eaten her
breakfast? Not a bit of it. If she
had told of the ghost she must have
repeated the ghosts words. She
wasn't going to tell Of those three
offers Of marriage and set other
| tongues to wagging. And before noon
came she began to doubt the ghost.
She went out to the apple tree, and
she found tracks on the soil-tracks
Of boots, or she didn't know tracks
when she saw them. Some one had
wrapped himself in sheet, and
some one had held a peach stone in
his mouth while he talked.
When a man trifles with a widow
he doesn't know what he is going to
get. When this widow had decided
that she was being guyed by some
one she went across the street and
borrowed shotgun to shoot cats
with, and paid boy ten cents to
load it with powder and salt and
show her how to fire it.
| No ghost came that night or the
next. On the third day the Liverpool
druggist drove over and eased his
palpitating heart by a confession and
proposal. His tracks were hardly
cold when in came the sewing ma
chine man. He must tell her of his
love or perish. He was permitted to
tell The fertilizer man had meant
to be first, but came in third, being
unavoidably detained by Deacon
Robinson. He also loved and had to
tell of it or run the risk of an ex-
plosion.
To each of the last three the widow
returned the same answer as to the
first three. Six proposals in week,
and six men going away fairly happy.
When it is figured right down, any
widow Is a blessing to the land.
Midnight again. The widow Arm
strong sleeps. The shotgun leans
against the WALL. The ghost comes
across the garden with noiseless feet.
| Cats take one brief glance and fly for
their lives.
widow, I am here to warn you
again! Do not marry the sewing ma
chine man!
"Do not marry the drug store man!
"Do not marry the fertilizer mani"
The widow slipped softly out Of
bed. There stood the ghost under
the apple tree. He had the same
white sheet around him-same peach
stone in his mouth! She reached for
| the ola gun, duU DIS lie 6AOSI IuIuSu "
be swallowed up in the night, she
fired. There was yell and a fall
The ghost had been sailed. Boots
and legs kicked the air-the sheet
was thrown off, and the next minute
the widow was out door and bending
over a man and saying: ~
"Why why-it's Mr.. Phillips!
| Wby-why-what on earth!" s
'I-I didn't want you to marry
anybody but mel" he exclaimed as he
struggled to his knees.
''But 1 didn't know you cared for
mel"
But / dol"
well, come in and sit down, and
we'll see how badly you are hurt"
"But can't-can't sit DOWN.
Then come over tomorrow and
stand up and tell me you want me for
a wife and maybe I'll say yes!"