davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
ABSURD COSTUMES.
Outcome Of q Curious Wager Made In
England In 1906.

England In 1906.
A wager was made In 1906 10 the
castle yard. York, England. between
Thomas Hodgson and Samuel White
head ss to which should succeed In as
Stunning the most singular character.
Umpires were selected whose duty 1t
was TO decide upon the comparative
absurdity Of the costumes In which
the two meu were to appear. On the
appointed day Hodgson came before
the umpires decorated with banknotes
Of various values. his coat and vest
being entirely covered with them. Be
sides these he had row OF five guinea
pieces down bis back, a netted purse
Of gold around his head and placard
on his back bearing the legend, John
Bull"
Whitehead came on the scene dress
ed like woman on one side. one half
Of his face painted and silk stocking
and slipper on one foot and leg. The
other half of his face was blackened
so as to resemble negro On the cor
responding side OK his body he wore
gaudy long tailed linen coat. his leg
on that side being incased In half a
pair OF leather breeches and boot
with n spur. He wore a Wig OF sky
blue braided down his back and tied
with yellow, red and orange coIored
ribbons
One would naturally fancy that he
presented the most singular and iudi-
crous appearance. but the umpires
must have thought differently, as they
awarded the stakes. some t2O. to
Hodg son.-London Taller.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
How He Remembered.

A diffdent young Koseville man went
to party. II you are dlffident your
self and know how hard it Is to re-
member names when you meet a
crowd OF strange and lovely indies
you will be able to understand why 1t
was that the young mans dance card
read as follows:
/. Twostep~ Helen.
2. Waltz Harry's friend.
J. 'Twostep--Tali girl.
T. Waltz Violets.
b. Twostep-Swell eyes
8. Waterbury, hair.
z. Twostep-Little blue
Watz-beauty spot.
T. Twostep-Pnk ribbons.
10. Waltz-Helen.
Newark News
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
Why Turkish Women Go Yelled.

Turkish women do not wear wells
because Of their religion. as many sup
pose. 1t Is merely the survival Of an
old custom. When the Turks still
lived In Tartary, before the time Of
Mohammed, it was the habit Of the
men to steal such women for wives as
attracted them. This led to so much
fighting that about the second century
after Christ the Turks came together
and decided that henceforth the wo-
men should go yelled and should not
meet men. but dwell in harems, as
soon as they arrived ut womanhood,
which was at about eleven years of
age.-Mrs. Kenneth Brown In Metro
politan Magazine.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

Ne Lest All He osss s-s Mses Money
hv os'aV %.

Ne Lest All He osss end Made Msnsy
b. os'ss %.
The captain Of one rather Old and
slow steamer Of ysars ago, anding that
be- wcrla have to be long time In
China before he received a full cargo
Of ten and would have probably 10 re-
turn IN ballast. began. TO every ones
astonIshment, 10 sav that, owing to
the repairs that had been done 10 bis
engines. he hoped TO make a racing
passage back to England. Then. still
more to tho astonishnsnt OF the cap
tains OF the fast steamers and the
world Mt large. he commenced to back
himself to make the fastest passn 60
home.
In such very considerable sums OF
money did be wager that people be-
gan to think there was something In
II. and the merchants sent their ten
almost entirely to bis ship, arguing
that a. the captain stood to lose $3.50
the repairs to his steamers engines
had probably put him In a position to
bet almost on a certainty.
OF course tho steamer, whose great
est speed was eight knots an hour. ar
rived In England weeks after the 9th
ers. and the captain lost 1850, but in-
stead Of having to lie In China walt
Ing his chance Of cargo coming In
from the interior. 4 probable delay OF
weeks, he had cleared In a few days
after his bets became known to the
public with full ship, thus recouping
to his owners. who, Of course, paid bis
betting losses. a considerable number
OF thousands OF pounds pront-Black-
woods Magazine.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
Little Worries.

In Chesterton's Tremendous Trifes"
Is this: A friend Of mine who was WIS.,
tung a poor woman in bereavement
aud casting about for some phrase Of
consolation that should not be either
insolent or weak said at last: Il think
one can live through these great sor-
rows and even be the better. What
wears one is the little worries"
That's quite right, num-" answered
The old woman. with emphasis. and
ought to know. seeing I've had ten of
'em."
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
The Woman's Tonic


Christmas has gone and we behold A
new year. The old year is gone, but
let US resolve to make the new year a
more prosperous year than the past
one. There is much visiting during
the holidays and will bring few dots.
Mr. and Mrs, J. 0. Jackson. ST., of
Comet. visited relatives at Marshall
during the holidays.
Miss Annie Davis and brother, of
KelIyville, visited friends and relati yes
aud friends at Comet during the holt
days.
\ christmas tree was given at Hall g
School House Saturday night. 1t was
beautiful night and large crowd
attended. 1t was pretty tree and
cold Santa" was joke.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bob Key, Of Jefferson,
visited friends at Comet the past week.
Miss Lucille smish, Of Comet; spent a
few days at Shiloh during Xmas.
Miss Pearl Coffman is visiting her
sister. Mrs. Bob Key, of Jefferson.
Mr.. and Mrs. Howard Mays. OF Mar
shall are visiting her father at Comet.
Surgeon League, of Comet, has gone
to uoorngport, La where he has ac-
cepted q position.
Dave Beal. of Kildare, visited rela-
tives at Comet during Xmas.
dance was given at Mr.. Fred Schel-
fingers Wednesdsy night. music was
furnished by Mr.. i'm Davis and sister.
Mics Carrie. Those present were:
Miss Lucille smith Mr. Edgar McAdoo,
Tommie Nc Adoo. Horace Smith, Tab
Robertson, Ivie Pruitt. Addie Lemon,
Cliff McClain. Chevis McGuffin, Hugh
Stephens Leesie Williama, Bob Coff-
man. Nettie Williams, Andrew Davis,
Rena Belle Hale Bertha Woods, Irbie
lennon, Carrie Davis. Oliver Burns.
Gande Coffman, Sturgeon League.
Walter Hatcher Bruce Allgood, Annie
DaYis, Maggie scheiliager, Sam All
good, George Davis, Lille Schellineer.
Henry McAlexander. Lois Duncan,
Nellie sche!linger, Bonnie Williams,
p. II. stone Jim Davis and Will
Duncan.
dance was given at Mrs. Sam Lem
mons Saturday night All report a
grand time
Misses Maggie and Lille Schelinger
of Ccmet, visited friends at Kellyvile
the past week..
Will Lennon and family, Of Shiloh,
visited his mother Mrs. Sam Lennon,
Of Comet.
DAISY
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
One Failure,

ITS funny our minister never gets
married" remarked the young hus-
band who had just refused his wife
new dress in his endeavor to change
the subject. II think he'd make
good husband"
We'll" replied the wife warmly.
che didn't seem to make very good
one when he married u.s."
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

When it 10 given as soon as the
croupy cough appears Chamberlain
Cough Remedy will ward off an attack
Of Group and prevent al! danger and
cause of anxiety. Thousands Of moth
ers use il successfully. Sold 10y ali
dealers
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
He Got His.

A cynical old bachelor who firmly
believes that all women have some
thing to say on all subjects recently
asked a female friend:
We'll. madam, what do you hold on
this question Of female SUFFRAGE?
To which the lady responded calmly:
Sir, hold my tongue"
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

-Four groups of wings, two of
two wings each and the others of
three wings, Mapped by cranks at,
tached to a motor, are the features
of a flying machine recently in
vented by s. German.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
Counting a Belle.

Would ii be any harm to deceive
her about my aget" inquired the elder
ly millionaire.
Probably not"
I'm sixty. How would 1t do to con-
TESS to ffty?"
Il think your chances would be bet
ter with he, II you claimed seventy
flve"-Kansas City Journal.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

In troubled waters you can scarce
see your face or see it very little TIL
the water be quiet and stand still. SO
In troubled times you can see little
truth. When times are quiet AMI set
tied, then truth appears. Selden.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
Eczema, RingwOrms

letter, ehapped hands, lips. boils, sores
and all skin diseases are quickly cured
blythe use of DR. Bells Antiseptic Salve.
2oc box at all dealers; a creamy, snow
white ointment
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

When buying cough medicine Tor
children bear in mind that Chamber
lAins Cough Remedy Is most effective
for colds. Group and whooping cough
and that IL contains no harmful drug.
Sold nv sll iss,Srs
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
The Test Of Sa!ssmanship.

Anybody can sell goods everybody
wants. but 1t takes reai salesman TO
dispose OF something that everybody
ought to waut.-Detroit Free i'gess
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
The Pleasanter Route TO Ruin.

Prosperity has ruined many man"
NO doubt, but II | were given any
choice In the matter I'D rather be
ruined by prosperity than by adversi-
ty. The process is more enjoyable -
Chicago Post.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
Milllous or Bottles

of DR., BelPs Pine Tar Honey used an.
n1ally is good evidence that it is good
remedy for grippe. coughs, colds and
all throat and brone hial troubles. Look
for the bell on the bottle. Sold every
where,
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

The present postal envelope wa
by a French man in the
year 1862
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

In the valley of Rebas beyond
the Pyrenese is q small race of
dwsff7. They have red hair, fiat
noses and broad faces, and seem
hapnY
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
When You See the Bell

on the bottle you have our guarantee
that yon s's getting the best cough
and cold remedy. Or. Bells Pine Tar
Honey has millions Of satisfied users.
81 oil dealers.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

Irregular bowel movements lead to
chronic constipation, Prickley Ash
Btters is a reliable system regulator;
cures permanently. w. j, Sed berry
special agent.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

About half of the children of in.
sane people are sound mentally,
while others inherit the parents
atflic,ion
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

Rich tourists spend $50, 600 600
annually in Switzerland. much Fl
which goes from Americs.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

Statistics show that 81 unmsr.
ried people commit suicide to 10
married
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
Soaked.

What time is it,
Il don't know"
Isn't your watch going?"
"Worse-it's gone."-Cleveland Lead
Q.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
ISY

Medicines that aid nature are aiways
most ef1ectual; Chamberain's Cough
Remedy acts on this plan. 1t allays the
cough. relieves the lungs, opens the Sc
eretions and aids nature Ia restoring
The system to a healthy condition
Thousands have testified to its superior
excellence. By all dealers
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

Most Of US are extremely wise when
1t comes to knowing what other people
ought to do.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
A Medicine

that lives ten years must have merit,
DR.. Bells Pine Tar Honey has been
sold sixteen years, and sales increased
every year; go you run no risk. We
guarantee it; at all dealers
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

Ridicule il the first and las. srgl
nent Of rools-Simmops.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

An automatic machine has been
Invented that will clean 5000 fish
m hour
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

Ofthe cement mills in the Uni
ted States Pennsylvania has the
most
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
What Gan We Nay

More than il you are not satisfied afer
usina Sutherland's Eagle Eye Salve, We
will refund your money; Is cents at all
dealers
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

fhs largest bronze statue is that
II Peter The Great. at ST. Peters
hu'g 'hs, wrlgbs little over !.
900 tons
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06
DR.. Bells An;lseptiC Saive

is good for anything for which a salve
is indicated such as pimples, black
heads. sores. chaps, ulcers, sunburn
and all skin affection. 25c at dealers
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-01-06

Russia is very careful who she
allows TO travel over it's territory
in central Asia; 40 ordinary psss-
por, will not permit . traveller over
TIA, district.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01
" "
~ = Y = - y
BANNICIFR nFRWN
zZZz/ZzEAZZ0N% ~
RAYWAITERC

Alcatrante and Poritol looked n
each other. The minister spoke:
"'Win you engage not to give the
bill to anyoneS - in the 1: 'orval?"
Il will pro that" said orme.
1T Il only fat! Yes, I viii keep the
bill until tomorrow morning"
"One other suggestion" continued
Alcatrante. you may not be willing
to give up the bin. but is there any
reason why you should refuse to let
Senior Poritol COPY the writing that
is on IT."
only my determination to think
the whole matter over before I do
anything at ALL" Orme replied.
But the bill came into your hands
by chance" insisted the minister.
THE Information means nothing to
you. though obviously It means a
great deal to my young friend. here.
May I ask what right you have to
deny this request?"
What right" Orme's eyes mar.
rowed. my right Is that I have the
bill and The Information. and I intend
to understand the situation better be-
fore I give the information to anyone
else"
But you recognized Senior Pori-
tolls handwriting on the BILL" ex-
claimed the minister.
"On the face of It, yes. He did not
write the authorizations on the back
Authorizations" exclaimed Poritol.
please let the matter rest till
morning." said Orme stubbornly. II
have told you Just what I would do. /"
Poritol opened his mouth to speak.
but Alcatrante silenced him with q
frown. Your word is sufficient. Mr..
Orme," he said. We will call tomor-
row morning. Is ten o'clock too
early?"
Not at ALL" said Orme. Doubt
less I shall be able to satisfy YOU I
merely wish to think it over"
With a formal bow, Alcatrante
turned to the door and departed.
Poritol following.
Orme strolled back to his window
and stood idly watching the lights of
the vessels on the lake. But his mind
was not on the unfolded view before
him. He was pulling over this mys-
terry In which he had SO suddenly be-
come a factor. Unquestionably the
five-dollar bill held the key to some
serious problem.
Surely Alcatrante had not come
merely AZ the friend Of Poritol. for
the difference In the station Of the
two South Americans Was marked.
Poritol was q cheap character
full. no doubt, in certain kinds Of work.
but vulgar and unconvincing
Alcatrante. on the other hand. was
a name to make statesmen knit their
brows. A smooth trouble-maker. he
had set Europe by the ears in the
matter of unsettled South American
loans. dexterously appealing to the
much-overworked Monroe doctrine
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01
But the tax authorities were mis-

But the tax authorities were mis-
taken. A few days ago a man came to
the New York tax commissioners and
asked to be relieved of his personal
taxes. Il have only $1,000" he said.
and that money is In city bonds and
is being held in trust"
For whom?" asked the tax COM
missioner.
The question was unexpected and
at first there was no answer. but the
tax commissioner insisted. Finally. in
a stage whisper. the swearer-oR ex-
planned.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01
chiId's Bravery Saved Lives.

The story of boys heroism comes
from the Melbourne district Of Austria
liza. Mrs. Williams had been boiling
hops, and, thinking she had extin-
guished the fire. went out visiting to
a neighbor. leaving three children In
the house. The eldest boy, nine years
of age, suddenly saw the ceiling
alight. He ran after his mother. but
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01

every time his country was threatened
by q French or German or British
blockade. But his mind was Of ~
small caliber. He could hold his own
not only at his own game Of interna-
tional chess, but in the cultured dis
cussion of polite topics. Orme knew
of him a. q clever after-dinner speak
er, q man who could. when he 50 de-
sired, please greatly by his personal
charm.
No, Alcatrante was no friend of
Poritol's; nor was It likely that n
protector of the interests Of his coun-
trymen, he would go 50 far as to &C.
company them on their errands un-
less much was at stake. Perhaps
Poritol was Alcatrante's tool and had
bungled some important commission.
It occurred to Orme that the secret Of
the bill might be connected with the
negotiation of a big business conces-
sion in Alcatrante's country. IS. r.
Evans" might be trying to get control
of rubber forests or mines-in the
Urinaba mountains. perhaps. after all.
In any event. he felt positive that
the secret of the bill did not right
fully belong to Poritol. II the bill
had been in his possession, he should
have been able to copy the abbrevia-
ted message. Indeed. the lies that he
told were all against the notion of
placing any confidence in him. The
two South Americans were altogether
too eager.
Orme decided to go for a walk. He
could think better in the open air. He
took up his hat and cane and descend
"a tho olovat0r
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01
Tax Dodger Had Ae.u One

really don't own what you seem to
own. and that, while you appear to be
q very rich man. you are really over
burdened by debts which you have
hitherto successfully concealed. Since
personal taxes began. SO many ways
of swearing OF have been invented
that the tax authorities had come to
believe that there was no new tax
dodge under the sun.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01
pYsPePnc PHILOSOPHY.

What the theater really needs y
Society for the Prevention Of Cruel1
to Audiences.
Why arc We supposed to have moro
respect for cray hairs than for bald
head?
A man can face the world with
good heart II he can also face 1t with
q good liver.
From q masculine point Of view
would it be heresy to question the se3
Of the devil?
Some fat men are meaner than otn-
er men simply because there II more
Of them. /
Many q man who thinks he Is II
love lives to discover that second
thoughts are best.
Some men are born great, some &C.
quire greatness, and others have great
ness thrust upon them. but 1t doesn't
seem to take any Of them long to get
rid Of It Al
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01

hearing the flames cracking, and see
ing them spreading. he rushed back.
entering the house. and dragged out
his brother and sister. BY the time
the boy was able to get hold Of his
sister the flames were within three
feet Of the floor. He was badly burnt
himself, but the others escaped un-
hurt.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01
SYNOPSIS.

At the expense OF a soiled hat Herbert
Orme saves from arrest q girl in q black
touring car who has caused a traffic jam
on State street. He buys a new hat and
Der person you pay this to-" written on II.
a second time he helps the girl In the
black car and learns that in Tom and
Jesse Mhat t they nave We. m ns psr
identity. In his rooms at the Pere Mar
quette he telephones Bessie Wallingham
and agrees to golf at Arradale on the
morrow. He discovers another inscrip-
ton on the marked bill. which, in a futile
attempt to decipher. he copies and places
the copy in q drawer.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01
The Vicious Circle.

When Donald came in from school
his face showed unmistakable signs OF
tears, and at the first symptoms OF
maternal affection they started to flow
again.
Now, Donald boy, tell mother all
about it. What's the matter?"
"Ze teacher she scolded me"
well. we'll try and forget that.
won't We? Never mind"
But, muzzer. Eats jes' what she
scolded me bout. She said I never
did mind!"-Youth's Companion.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01

In the s!nce the clerk stopped him.
"A man called to see you . few
minutes ago. Mr.. Orme. When I told
him that you were engaged with two
visitors he went away"
Did he leave his name?" asked
Orme.
mo, sir. He was q japanese"
Orme nodded and went on out q
the street. What could . japanese
want Of him? -,
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01

What did Mr.. Hibrow say when he
found you standing under the mistle'
toe?" asked Maude.
He said 1t was not genuine mistle-
toe" replied Maymie. "and that he
could not think of taking advantage
of q botanical error"
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01
Officials Forced to Believe That
There Is Something New
Under the Sun.
Senior Poritoi.

The best way of not paying taxes
a your personal property is to swear
OF. By swearing of" is meant
sping to the tax assessor and making
. deposition that you really don't live
where you seem to i've, that YOU
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01

In short-to be treated exactly like
one of the family without the inalien-
able family right to say what he
thinks of it.-Life.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01

The money is held in trust during
his lifetime-for my dog"
Magazine.
The Detroit times., 1911-11-13
From Another Point of View
In Detroit-Law is worth enforcing.

n Detroit--Iaw worth enforcing
student Ann Arbor-A crippled team " one tha gets licked
Highly Pleased Probably with the looks of Washington
antiTaft
everybody
Manchu
president will only again hrmy upon
platform
That's regular
geographical position
This the
Shepherd equal law
The aFoette campaign couldn't had
stand in
The needn't OF
municipal ownership nothing else.
II this
called
want.