Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-12-14

~ - WY SAA stIAIl ~ x1O 1OOt
IN the grave simply because no had
long flowing whiskers and went abOut
with an expression which seemed to-
say that he had seen everything worth
while In this world and that h only
recreattons left him were yarb tea and
sulphur tonic. In general tone he 70
sembled an old horsehair sofa that has
been In the family a long time. In
the last 40 years he has managed. to
catch the spirit of the times and re-
OF 20 or Whereabouts and ne il the nrst
man In the old home town to come
out In the spring with an UP to date
straw hat. The last time we saw him
he had on a pair of peg top trousert
and was talking some of buying 4
racing automobile.
This is a pretty cheerful old world,
and there Is a lot Of fun in it that
doesn't cost "a cent: The only real FUN
that y a ever has is h fun that
he makes himself.
Growing old is u habit that II
rapidly passing. thanks be. 1t win
soon be laid on the shelf along with
the hoop skirts, prickly roll music
boxes n plush autograph albums.
ONLY AN AMATEUR
Job had the measles. boils. humps
For hard luck tales he was Il fright
But he ne'er q like modern chumps
A coal fire that went out at night.
Jobs luck it certainly was bad.
1t ollOWed him Where'er he went.
But at it's worst he never had
To rcad Il comic supplement.
Job a TO fight his way through life.
His battle tales would fll a book,
But still twas imitation strife,
He never had to- fire the cook.
job thought that gossip was his curse.
He was the most maligned OF men.
But still it might have been lots worse;
There was no sewing circles then.
From place to place Job had to roam,
At will n mercy of the fates;
But when he had to move him home
He struck no transfer combine rates.
Jobs turkey was a scrawny pet,
And on THANKSGIVING day ne found
1t was a trilc ~tough-nnd yet
1t cost no 80 cents II pound.
Jobs troubles sougt him everywhere:
They came to him from near and far:
But still he had no need back there
To dodge the snorting motor car.
Jobs woes camped right upon mia trail,
His lot was hard as any mans:
And yet he never went to Jail
For throwing glass in garbage cam
TO SIMPLIFY MATTERS.
Following are a few more abbrevia-
tions We shall use in thu future %
save time for the reader and type
these lists clipped and close at hand;
for you may need to refer to them a
any moment. night or day.
d. a. d.-Drunk and disorderly.
W. d. y. X, Il. t.-What do o know
o. v. c.-Oh, you chicken.
1. C. o. r. a. Large circle OF refa-
tives and friends.
c. +. t.-Costly floral tributes.
O. u. Sour astute statesman.
working on the case.
t. b. !. II. c.-The burglar left no clue.
]. a. g. j. d. n. e. t. b. e. u. t. e.-La-
dies and gentlemen, / did not expect to
be called upon this even..g.
&. o. t. j.-Gentlemen OF the Jury.
g. m. GOOD morning, Judge.
V. +. w.-Votes for women.
THE BEST SWISS CHEESE.
In a local cafe a stranger ordered a
Swiss cheese sandwich, made Of the
best cheese obtainable. The waiter
brought him two pieces of bread. but
the cheese appeared to be missing.
Look here. SIR" said the customer,
There is no cheese in this sandwich"
"Oh. yes there Is" was the reply. You
SOC SiS ONo oWlSS CHCCSC 1S IUC OUS
with the largest holes in It," You said
you wanted the very best and you have
it" In fact, this particular cheese was
entirely hole. But some customers are
never satisfied.
WHAT DRIVES STREET CAR CON-
DUCTORS CRAZY.
Say. doe this car run down by tho
depot. n can o tell me IL No. II
from the north is on time?"
Il am looking for a Teller named
Smith, and I thought l might get to
his home II I got on this car. Where
does he live?"
Can o punch my transfer two
hours ahead SO I can do a little shop
ping down town."
Did a woman in a green hat come
down town with you trip before last?'
place where l var to get off or not.
Can't you hold the car for me while /
run into that house un the corner and
inquirer"
WILL HUNT WOMEN IN NORTH
WOODS.
From the Athens, Mich, Times:
Our neighboring village of Sherwood
produces some woine hunters, five
having taken out licenses and gone to
the north woods hunting"
THESE MUST MAKE ANANIAS
JEALOUS.
Your luncheon, Mrs. Jones, was the
most charming l ever attended"
M wife lets me smoke anywhere I
want to-"
"How well you are looking. my dear.
l was telling my husband Just the other