The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-01-12
POINTS FOR THE PASTOR.
Sister Sharpe Shows Now Dorrinie
Where His Predecessors Failed.

| where HIS Predecessors = faheu'
"VVT ELL, I'm glad It Is settled and
| wv we can know where we are
at" said Sister Sharpe as she
handed the new minister his second
cup of tea. at seems good to have
reg'lar settled pastor once more, even
II the vote TO call you want altogether
unanimous Some held out for Brother
Jaster that we had preach for us
| few times, but l guess they won't
make no trouble because we called
you. Now that you are to come and
you are TO stay with me until your
folks come / been thlnkin that 1t
wouldn't he no more than a kindness
for me to tell you the reasons why
some of your predecessors was asked
to resign. l been thinkin' that If !
be it would help you not to make the
mistakes that they made. / amt n
word to say agin any of 'em. All of
em meant well, and reckon they
done the best they could accordin' to
their lights, but yet they didn't just
Baggster. The trouble was he preached
too long. I've kept my eye on the
clock many and many n time when he
was preachin', and the shortest sermon
| ever knowed him to give us was
| ffty-nine minutes long. and 1t run all
the way from that up to an hour and
| twenty minutes and some of MS on ten
terhooks KNOWN how our dinners was
spolin at home. Then there was
Brother Sapp, who cut his sermons so
short you hardly got settled comfort
able in your pew and come to git some
edited before he had you up for bene-
diction. Seemed like 1t want hardly
worth while TO dress up and come to
| church for such stingy little excuse
of sermon. Brother Broad's sermons
was sort o. betwixt and between
Brother Sapp's and Brother Baggster's
when II come to len'th. but he was too
| lib'ral to suit most OF our people.
Said right in the pulpit that he didn't
see no harm In folks goin' out walk
| ing on Sundays when he knowed very
well that all of our deacons thought 1t
n dessercatlon o. the Sabbath to go
out walkln' on Sundays unless YOU
walked in the graveyard. That ser
mon finished Brother Broad IS far as
his usefulness with us was concerned.
"Then we had Brother Bright for n
year, and he was pretty good
preacher. but no kind Of pastor-that
is, he want no good at calling and
being sociable. Never seemed to know
what to do or say In the sickroom
and was poor hand at a fun'ral.
Didn't seem to enjoy church sOclables
nor fun'rals. Come right out fiat once
and said he thought pastor ought to
give his flock more of his brains than
of the calves of his legs. meanin' by
that he'd better stay In his study In
std o. runnin' around ringing door
bells. That offended Miss Nancy
Prude, our wealthlest female member
for she didn't think 1t nice for mar
to say legs in the pulpit. so she shu
off her contribution O. 80 cents a week
until Brother Bright left Then we
had Brother Gushley. who was toe
poetlcky to suit them that wanted thu
real meat o. tn gospel In their ser
mons. They said II was bad enough
for Brother Gushley to work poems oi
Longfeller and Tennerson and Whit
taker twenty verses long into his ser
mons, but when he got to working
poems of his own of that len'th int
them they wouldn't stand for 1t. III
even talked in poetry. Come here once
and when went TO the door he say
first thing:
It's a very good day
To make calls and pray.
"Some of our deacOns said that wa
sackerlldge, and they had him up be
fore 'em for It. and he got sassy ant
offered his resignation in n poem tina
the dcacons said was an insult to tn
whole church. SO you better stee
clear o poetry in your sermons.
"Just thought I'd tell you how an
why some o. your predecessors fe
down. as the sayin' Is. so that yo
could sort o. be on your guard and no
offend in the same way. ] think you
find our people fair minded and cas-
TO git along with II you do what
right If not, help yourself TO som
of that Diccalilly. | made IL out