davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
SaintIiness Unpopular.

That state of mind which let US call
the ignominy of the virtuOus is not
entirely confined to boys of nine
years, l have seen grown men and
women, being accused of saintliness.
over whose faces passed an expression
of modification. They would accept
with more cOmplacency the tribute
that they were getting to be devils in
their old age.-Atlantic.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
Sentimental JuFies.

Maitre Henri Robert, the most IA
nous advocate in criminal cases at the
Paris bar, told an audience almost
entirely composed of ladies that before
any jury a woman with some youth,
some looks and a pretty voice has fifty
chances out of a hundred of being
acquitted, whereas a man would have
only one. If she knows how To shed
tears at the right moment she need
not wOrry-a verdict Of not guilty is
a dead certainty.-Paris Letter.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
The Alteration Of the Wiz.

Wigs We're never so popular as in the
reign of Charles II. The author of
THE Beaux and the Dandies' tells
US that when Cibber played Sir Fop-
ling Flutter his wig was so much ad-
mired that | 2 had it carried 10 the
fOotlights every evening in a sedan
chair, from which it was handed to
him that he might put it on his head"
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
What Was Lacking.

The HObO-Please, mum, I'm a sick
man. De doctor gimme dis medicine,
but | needs assistance in takin' it. The
Lady-POor fellow! Do you want a
spoon and q glass of water? The Ho-
bono, mum; / wouldn't trouble yer.
But dis medicine has to be took before
meals. Have yer got a meal handy
Cleveland Leader.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
Caution.

Shall l have this prescription filed
without further consulta tiOn?' asked
the patient.
"Certaihiy," replied the physician
'Why not:"
Il thought maybe I'd better call in
handwriting expert Washington
Star
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
Lack of Tact

"That man is about the most tact
less person I have ever known"
Il agree with you. He would have
no more sense than to ask a barber to
subscribe to fund for the purpose of
providing a monument for the inven-
tor of the safety razor. Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
Woes of Wealth

''Then wealth doesn't bring happi-
ness?"
mo. Since we inherited money my
people don't want me to loaf in the
grocery And | can't get no comfort
out Of lOafng in a bank. The hours
are too short. -Pittsburg Post.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
PLACING the Blame.

Judge TO burglar on triaD-Have
you anything TO say. prisoner? Bur
glar-Yes, your honor. l was only act
IN on me doctors advice to take some
thin afore goin' ter bed.-BOston
Transcript
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
She Knew Her Dad,

Smithers-DO YOU know any one who
has a horse to SELF She-Yes: I sus-
pect old Brown has. Smitbers-Why? :?
She-Weil, papa sold him one yester-
day.-LOndon Punch.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
Ennui.

Tommy-Pop, what is ennui? Tom
my's POp-Ennui, my son, is a disease
that attacks the people who are so
lazy that they get tired of resting
Philadelphia Record.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
anne.

Fame is easily acquired All you
have to do is to be in the right place
at the right time and do the right
thing in the right way-and then ad
vertiSe it propeTly.-Puck.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
RsciprocitX.

There is one word which may serve
as rule of practice for all ones life
That word is reciprocity. What you do
not wish done to yourself do not do
to OtheTS.-Confucius
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
Not Homemade.

Defending Counsel Ito witness in
bandages)-ATe you married2 Wit
ness-No; | was knocked down by a
Fab last week.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
Pretty Narrow.

Mrs. HOyle-Is there much room in
your fat? Mrs. DOYLE should say
not! There isn't room to give any
body a broad hint.-Judge.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11

Death expecteth thee everywhere.
be wise. therefore. and expect death
everywhere-Q Quarles.
The Washington bee., 1911-11-11
Trouble In the Air

Husband-You don't go shopping
with Mrs. Nearby any more? Wife
No. The last time we went she want
ed a remnant that / wanted.-Judge.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
Tuning Bells.


What beautiful tone that bell
has, is often heard There are few,
however. who know how a bell re-
ceives its joyful or solemn tones. All
bells after they are cast and finished
must go through a process Of tuning
the same as any other musical instru-
ment before they respond with a clear.
true tone. Every bell sounds five
notes, which must blend together in
order to produce perfect harmony The
tuning Of bell is done by means of
shaving thin bits from various parts
Of the metal. 1t is rs easy for an eX.
pert bell tuner TO put bell in tune
as it is for Il piano tuner to adjust his
instrument TO perfect chords. At first
thought 1t would seem that bell
would be ruined should n tuner shave
off too much at the last tuning. or the
fifth sound, but such is not the case
He would. however. be obliged to be-
gin over. starting again with the first
tone and shaving the bell till it gave
forth its harmonious sound at the fifth
tone.-ScieDtifc American.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
Life on a SattIeship.

To the landlubber one of the pc
culiar and ofttimeS discomforting ele-
ments of life on warship during tar
get practice is the necessity for nu-
merous baths. After each volley all
the men on deck must take q bath.
Sometimes there are four or five baths
day. This becomes quite monoto-
nous. The japanese inaugurated this
practice \ bath is taken before and
after shooting to guard against pos
slble infection Of open scratches and
cuts from the flying powder. When
the big guns so off the landsman on
deck Is thrown into CONSERVATION. y
horrible. sickening wrench makes one
feel as If each limb were separately
grasped and pulled in various direc-
lions. and it is long time until he
gets his 'sea legs" again. Life aboard
ship is not the ordeal that rumor has
characterized it. The bareback legend
Is erroneous. The sailors are well fed
with the best viands procurable, and
their bread, far from being bareback,
Is as good as that which is served in
any high class hotel or restaurant.
There is a spirit Of good fellowship
among the men below decks Each
man has his separate duties definitely
designated, and there are no petty jeal-
Ousies.-J. W. Aide in Leslie's.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
STAGE Snow.

In Personal "reminiscences of Hen
~ Irving Bran Stoker lets his read
erS into the secret Of how the snow
scene in THE Corsican Brothers" was
made so effective:
"All over the stage was thick blan-
ket of snow, white and glistenlng in
the winter sunrise--snow that lay so
thick that when the duelists, stripped
and armed. stood face to face they
each secured firmer foothold by
clearing ii away. OF many wonderful
effects this snow was perhaps the
strongest and most impressive Of real
ity. The public could never imagine
how II was done. Ii was salt-common
coarse salt-whlch was white in the
appointed light and glstened like real
snow There were tons Of It. a crowd
of men stood ready in the wings with
little baggage trucks such as are now
used in the corridors of great hotels.
silent with rubber wheels. On them
were great wide mouthed sacks full Of
salt When the signal came they rush
ed in on all sides, each TO his appoint
ed spot. and tumbled out his load,
spreading 1t evenly with great wide
bladed wooden shovels."
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
Fate of Portuual's Homer.

1.-THE Lusiad" is one of the noblest
records ever written of national glory
and success. Camoens, its gifted au-
thor. determined to do for Portugal
what Homer had done for Greece The
great poem was written in the six
tccnth century. which has been called
the heroic age of Portugal. and its
main feature is the rounding of the
Cape Of Good Hope by Vasco da Cana.
while Il most interesting episode is
the browning after death of Inez de
Castro as queen of Portugal. The
LcSiad" took it's name from Lusius.
who was said to have founded Lisbon.
It's author was born about 1920. and
his career. which began brilliantly.
was blighted by the death of broken
heart Of the lady of his love. for whose
sake he was banished from the land
He wrote The Lusiad" in his Danish
ment and was recalled in 1911, losing
on the way all his property except his
poem. Pensioned mt first by the king,
this great epic poet Of Portugal died
in great poverty in 1870 when his
patron was also dead.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04

out from Bryan, and they are always
welcome
We had our watch night service and
if IT did not take up too much of your
valuable space | could fill a column
with the good things said by these
good people. After calling the roll of
1910 we find that only one has been
claimed and carried up higher to
spend a new year in the Lords vine
Iyard-Mrs. Mamie Carson. There
we're several appropriate talks made
along this line, impressing the impor-
lance of preparing to meet our God.
Our league had its first meeting of
the new year on Sunday night. After
a few appropriate remarks by the
president there was some fine singing,
with Mrs. Ida Ramsay as organist and
Prof. Jim Ramsay as chorister Most
everybody helped and some of your
Bryan boys and girls added TO the
sweet song service. On this occasion
we again realized that our place of
worship is too small, as a part of the
congregation had to occupy the ros-
trum. God bless Union Hill and her
citizenship.
After the league meeting we were
favored with a sermon by Rev. Wat
son, a noted Baptist evangelist. His
text was about prisoners, and he did
preach as interesting a discourse as
it has been our pleasure to hear for
a long time. He also said that the
congregation was the largest by odds
that he had met in any rural district
of Brazos county. He even compared
our congregation with the one he ad-
dressed in Bryan.
| forgot to tell you about the box
supper. We had quite a time. The
girls brought the boxes and the boys
did buy them. Then, oh, my. the nice
eating they did have, Mr.. Aubry
Cruise took charge of the only table
and had the time of his life dining
with six or eight of the sweetest girls
in Texas
Farmers are blowing some, and
some are moving and getting ready |
There are fine seasons now for work |
1t is very cold. The health of the !
is good and general good |
feeling is in evidence.
EGG MAN. |
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
Mo Place FOR His Talents.

At st. Johns a man slowed away
upon Harry Whitney's yacht, bound
for an arctic hunting trip. He was
discovered too late to return him to
the little Newfoundland port, but
Whitney de mined to make him
work his passage. He wasn't success
full at this. however. The stowaway
simply couldn't see any sort of work.
Short Of personal violence he couldn't
be made TO button his collar.
"By thunder" Whitney said one day,
1--WE Il notion to leave you here az
Etah." The stowaway seemed mourn
full
"Bee-lieve muh. Mr.. whitney," he
said emphatically, "N9u haven't made
me so welcome on board your iggered
old yacht that | want to stay But
what could lido up here?' lie swept
his hand around at the Eskimo huts
half roof and the rest hole in the
ground.
what Is your business. anyhow"
Whitney asked curiouSly.
a." said the stowawoy. lam a sec
ond story worker Cincinnati Times
Star.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
Mice For Whooninn Couch.

A fairly alarming relic Of medieval
nostrumS came to my notice recently.
\ mother was discussing with her
housekeeper the probability of her
children taking whooping cough which
was then prevalent in the community
The housekceper, most dependable
valuable helper, of more than average
good sense and judgment, said: Mrs
Black. if you'll let me l can keep your
children from having whooping cough.
I've kept lots of children from having
it, but I wouldn't do it without telling
you first"
well Martha, what IS IT,"
you catch live mouse and kill ana
dress Il and stuff it and bake it and
feed 1t 10 the children. 1t isn't bad to
take. and of course they don't know
what it is. That would spoil the
charm"
To my friends exclamation Of horror
she replied with conviction, 1--WE given
il to lots of children, and never one of
them had whooping cough. MARY
Newell YoutZ in Designer
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
sPEAKERsHIP CONTEST WARM
Gilmore, Rayburn and Cox Have Their
Headquarters Open and Look
for Votes.

Austin, Texas, Jan. 4.-The speaker.
ship contest Is warming up and from
now until the day Of the election the
contest will be kept up, only getting
more interesting as the time to decide
the question approaches. The three
ayowed candidates for this office are
here and have opened their headquar-
tiers. Representative Gilmore and Rep
resentative Rayburn have their head
quarters at the Avenue hotel Messrs.
Rayburn and Gilmore both formally
launched their campaigns Monday.
Representative Jeff Cox, of Rocwall
county, the third candidate in the race,
has his headquarters at the Driskill
hotel. He has engaged room 100 Mr..
Gilmore is making claims of having
practically a sufficient number Of
votes pledged to elect him, while Mr..
Rayburn IS not so assured but believes
he will win. Mr.. Cox is not doing
much talking, but he has a large fol-
lowing, and expects to land the job
without much difficulty, especially as
he is in perfect harmony with the new
governor.
There are approximately a dozen
members of the legislature here and
as fast as they arrive they are being
besieged by friends of the various can.
didates for the speakership.
The army of applicants for various
positions in the house and senate is
already beginning to arrive and as the
time draws near the number will in
crease.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
TIE Maqpic CEILING.

One Of the apartments in the an
cient royal palace at Cintra. Portugal.
is known as the Hall of Magples,
Painted in the arabesque ceiling is 10
be found swarm of magpies. Eacu
has in the mouth a scroll, on which,
painted in red on a white ground, are
the words, "Por benz" The stotS
runs that King John of Portugal was
making love to one of the maids of
honor in this chamber and was sur
prised by the queen. His majesty made
the best of the circumstances and ex-
planned to the queen, "E por benz minka
sacre" cob, it is nothing ct all. 1t is
quite right There is no harm in it'). AS
to whether the queen was satisfied the
legend is silent, but the ladies Of the
court were deeply interested and were
constantly saying to one another with
a smile, "Por benz. Por bemw The
king thought it time TO act. so he COM
missioned an artist TO paint on the
ceiling as many magpies as there were
talkative ladies' about the court, each
holding in the beak the ribbon with
the words. "Por bem."-London Globe.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
A Pethat.s Rcnnust.

Jacob A. Riis was discussing in New
York his experience as a police re-
porter.
They were intense experiences. The
p1the,lc ones had, indeed, such an in
tenHty that they couldn't be used in
literature. They'd seem overdrawn.
For example, one cold and dreary
THANKSGIVING evening as | passed a
famous restaurant saw little urchin
standing before the area. Through the
area gratings the kitchen, brilliantly
Illuminated, could be seen. The cook,
in his white dress, basted half dozen
great brown birds.
Hi, Timmyn the urchin cried, ana
second youngster turned toward him.
Hi, Jimmy, come an eat yer crust
in the smell from this here kitch-
en-. 1t makes it taste just like roast
turkey "-Detroit Free Press.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
No Clock Wanted.

There had been some talk Of placing
q clock in the tower of the village
church. But John. the old sexton. who
lived in the little cottage opposite the
church. declared himself dead agin
it, and expressed the opinion that 1t
would mean IAN awful waste o. BRASS
were the scheme carried out.
1--WE want no clocks" he said the
other day We've done without clocks
up to now, an we shall manage. Why.
lyin' i my bed of a mornln' | can see
the time by the sundial over the
porch"
Yes" replied one who approved of
the scheme. that's all right so far as
1t goes. But the sun doesn't shine
every morning. What do you do
then?"
Why" answered John supposedly,
81 knows then as it amt fit weather
to be out o bed an just stops where
l is."-London Tit Bits.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
When Warner Died.

Nearly all the visitors TO Venice, "
says a letter from that city, ''go to the
Nendramin palace to see the place
where Wagner lived nearly year ana
where he died in February, 1888. We
who were here on that glorious spring
day when they bore the master away,
who remember the long line OF mourn
ing bargcs, wish that the palace could
have among other mementos a pic
ture of that occasion. The great state
barge contained Anton Seidl's Orches-
ira, and after it came barges with
singers, mobiles, great men and women,
all in deepest mourning. This is the
scene which some artist should fix on
canvas. But alas, he who saw 1t
could never know what it represented
unless he had been here at the time.
The music. under Seid and Neumann,
and its effect on the mourning throng
no brush could portray"
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
An Excuse That is Worse Than None.

A poor excuse is said TO be better
than none, but this is to be seriously
doubted after reading the explanation
offered for keeping secret the govern
ment pension rolls. 1t is stated that
worthy pensioners would be embar-
raised should their names be made
public and in order to spare their feel
ings the list of names should be kept
secret. One who Is really entitled to
reward for service from the govern
.ment has nothing TO be ashamed of.
The pension fund is in reality cam
paign fund which is worked overtime
in the paying of political debts, To
make public the list would mean an
exposure of racality that would make
the nation gasp. That is the real rea-
son for the secrecy so religiously OBJ
served.-Van Alstyne Leader.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
The Three Great Channels.
EGG MAN.

Every human being-man. woman
and child, hero and convict. ncuras-
thenic and deep sea fisherman. athlete
and invalid-needs the blessing of God
through three, and only three, great
channels responsibility. recreation
and Affection; work, play and love.
With these any life is happy in spite
Of sorrow and pain, successful despite
the bitterest failures. Without them n
man breaks his heart. sewers his con-
scious connection with God. If you
want to keep q headstsong, fatuous
youth from overreaching himself you
try TO give him responsibility, recrea-
ton and affection. If you want to put
courage and aspiration into the gelati-
nous character of street walker or
the flickering mentality of hysteric
you labor TO furnish just the same trio
work, recreation and affection. In
every case the healing power which
you want to give is real life, and real
life means just these three things.
The same needs are fixed for all of us
and the same all sufiicing bounty in
the supply if we can get and keep in
touch with it.-Atlantic.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
UNION HILL NOTES.

Union Hill is still growing and from
the appearance of the crowd at the
Christmas tree we will soon have to
enlarge our church, for standing room
was at a premium, and l know you
would have enjoyed being present to
see the delight depicted on the coun-
tenance of each little towsel head.
realize that you love children, and it
is the delight of your scribe to mingle
with them in their sweet innocence, for
realize that ''of such is the kingdom
of heaven" l noticed a good many
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
IF WOMEN ONLY KNEW.
What Heap OF Happiness II Would
Bring to Bryan Homes.

What a Heap OF Happiness It Would
Bring to Bryan Homes.
Hard to 90 housework with an ach
ing back.
Brings you hours OF misery at leisure
or at work.
If women only knew the cause
That backache pains come from sick
kidneys
'Twould save much needless woe.
Doan's Kidney Pills cure sick kid
neys.
Many residents of this vicinity en-
dorse them.
Mrs. R. w. Belcher, of Hearne,
Texas, says: For a long time had
weak kidneys, causing backaches and
pains in my head and neck. Seeing
Doan's Kidney Pills highly advertised,
/ procured box and received prompt
relief from their use. In return for
what ,Doan's Kidney Pills have done
for me | cheerfully recommend them
to other kidney sufferers
For sale by all dealers. Price SOC,
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. Y, sole
agents for the United States.
Remember the name-Doan's-a
take no other.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
His Own Valuation.

"Belle tells me she IS sorry she ever
married you" said young lady TO the
husband Of her dearest friend.
$50 she ought To be- he retorted.
"She did some nice girl out Of good
busbondv,
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
1t will never rain roses. If we want
more roses we must plant more trees.
INDISPENSABLE.

Knicker-Did he make himself indis-
pensable to the firm? Bocker-Yes, so
much so that when he left they set
three detectives looking for him.-New
York Times.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
Unhappiness.

They who have never known pros
perity can hardly be said TO be un-
happy. 1t is from the remembrance Of
Joys we have lost that the arrows Of
affection are pointed.-Emile Zola.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
An Anostlh of Rannse.

First Bum-Writers say dat de secret
Of aristocratic appearance is repose Of
manner. Second Bum-Dats me.-Chi-
cago News.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
4 Day Oh.

Sunday School Tearhcr-.3 your pa II
Christian, Bobby? Litt'c Co''bv-No'ul.
not today. He's got the ;oI:harhc-
Drownlng's Magn2irc.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04

3 state Is never greater than when
al Its superfluous hands are Employed
in the service of the public.-Hume.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04
J. w. BATS.
REAL ESTATE AGENT.

Three lots, east front, and six-room
residence, with two halls, bathroom
and three galleries, electric lights, six
hydrants and brick cistern, servants
house and barn; all Improvements in
first-class repair; garden and several
large shade trees. Price, 100000.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-01-04

4 He that sleeps feels not the tooth
acknowledgements