davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
READY FOR A JOKE.
Ths Customs Official Had . Sense 81
Humor Himself.

This Customs OFFICIAL Rad Sense ~
Humor Himself.
In the smoking room Of the Hotel
des lies Brtanniqnes at the lovely re-
sort Of Mentone. on the French Ri
viera, Some three years ago two Eng
lisii.ae, met. After half an hours
conversation the Englishman from
Manchester said to his new acq,aint
rnce from London:
II say, old fellow. would you mind
taking small parcel for me to Paris
and have 1t sent to this address therei
I'm leaving for Milan in the morning
The Londoner willingly consented t.
do this mich for one Of his country
n,cu
lawfully good Of you. I'll have the
boy take the parcel to your room in
the morning" acknowledged the Eng
lishman bound for Milan.
In the morning the package was left
at the others room.
$50 that IL what he calls small
parcel" he exclaimed. "And what
might 1t contain7 A package Of such
size the custom officers would certain.
y want opened. what-cigarettes and
5000 Of them: is It possible that any
one could have the audacity to ask
such favor-to slnuggle 5000 ciga-
rettes into France! That chap shall
pay for this. for I shall declare these
cigarettes ana leave them to he called
for when the duty Is paid"
The 1ondoner left Mentone that aft
ernoon. The following day he was in
Paris ut the Care de rEst. his luggage
ready for examination.
"Anything dltiable?' asked the Gus.
toms officer.
Nothing" replied the Eng1lshman.
excepting in that parcel there"
"What does II contain?"
"Three thousand cigarettes" said the
Londoner. with smile upon his face
"a smile of embarrassment ut having
such parcel with him.
The Trenchman raised his hands In
the air and laughed heartily. He. too,
was as ready for a good Joke as any
one. and on each piece Of the English
mans luggage went his o. X cross.
Hardly realizing what had happened.
the Londoner found himself riding in
taxicab along the streets Of Paris
with the parcel Of 5000 cigarettes I'M
der his arm and nothing left to do but
to deliver 1t as he had been asked.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
Made a Cigar Lighter.


MA" said IL ninr-year-cld prodigy
whose parents live in Oak lane. IF I
change th. box of cigars into Il cigar
lighter will you give me nickel"
And he held up box of his fathers
cigars.
mo" sail hi uothe. But you
can't CO it,"
will you give me Il nickel if do:"
"I-r--es. Tut 'on cent d. it."
ecu iuHt | y k see Open h. box,
tai, out ti~"j. AMI nnw it's Il cigai
LIGHTER Gimme tie nickel" -,philaIe'
nhin Times.
!-ea o. tbs ssa.
Their al few isles OF the sen that
are no: l.no~'n Tycn in tho south Ia.
elf til re is not. it Is stated. an tso-
lated is,ct on Will, h the co"oanut palm,
chart and visited periodically by rep
resentatives of some trader. nor a rock
on viii Ii sea birds are accustomed to
conrrs gate and nest whose stores Of
guano have not been tested and In
many cas-; cleared. nor bank with
in diving d.stHn"e on which the pearl
shell oyster has IT'S home which has
not been discovered and stripped Of its
treasures. = EX' h"nge.
Taken Gown Peg.
While one thing essential to Gull
tured lawyer Is Il thorough knowledge
of Latin. 1t il not necessary. said a
judge. that he should parade his rlaSsi-
cal knowledge. for he might be taken
down peg" as WAS ''A young LAWYER
who displayed his learning before an
Arkansas jury. His opponent replied:
Gentlemen of the jury. the young law
yer who just addressed you has roanl-
ed with Romulus. cunted with Can
tharldes. ripped With Euripides. so"ked
with Socrates. but what does he know
about the laws Of Arkansas" Cease
and Comment.
Between Two Fires.
1.-THE fads Of sovereigns with their
royal etiquette We're frequently carried
to such lengths" says II. 7. Dyer III
"Royalty In All Ages" ''ns to make
martyrs Of them. What can be more
ludicrous than the following: The pal.
ace was on fire. A soldier who knew
the kings sister was in her apartment
and must inevitably have been con-
sumed in few minutes by the flamcs
rushed in at the risk of his life ana
brought her out. But Spanish etiquette
was woefully broken. and the loyal sol.
dier was brought to trial and condemn.
ed to death. The Spanish princess.
however. In consideration Of the cir.
cumstance. condcscended to pardon the
tx1a3as and savsd ii, NtH"
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
Gossip and Scandal.

Many people confuse gossip with
scandal. but the two things are quite
different. The scandalm"nger ia usu.
ally detested. while the gossip is often
universally popular In fact. the popu
larity which It brings In its train is
one Of the strongest incentives to Cos
sip. a really accomplished gossip Is Il
social acquisition. Thousands of peo.
pie who do not gossip themselves like
to listen to It, 1t saves them the trou-
bic Of talking. The gossip is general
~ good natured. The scandalmonger
seldom Is. After all. what Is more III
teresting than human nature? That is
the stock in trade Of the gossip. US 1t
Is of the novelist and administrations
don Gentlewoman.
Coroners In England.
In early times the coroner In Eng
land was revenue officer OF the
crown. and his business was to find
out the criminals. eytort their confes'
sions and confiscate their goods to the
crown. From records it appeared that
King Alfred had prediction for
hanging his coroners because they did
what was unjust.
At the present time practically the
only office OF cOroners Is to hO1d IN
quests Oh dead bodies aud on treasure
lrO.e aAu ~ pronounce Judgment IN
outla wry.-l.OudOu telegraph.
Pig Iron.
Pig iron il so called because the In.
cots when drst made have a &apcied
resemblance % q LITTER o5 ptR
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
BUTTER POINTERS.

The most effective way of obtaining
the cream from the milk is by the use
of the separator. 1t obtains nearly all
of the butter fat.
The milk should be aired and cooled
Immediately after separating. 1t should
be cooled down to at least 60 degrees
r. and held at this temperature until
slightly acid.
Fifty.eight to 81 degrees F. Is the
proper temperature for churning, and
not more than forty or sixty minutes
should be spent at this operation.
The churn should be stopped when
the butter granules are about the size
of wheat kernels.
Don't sell poor tub Of butter to
your regular customers, but ship 1t and
sell it upon its merits.
Good milk, healthy COWS, wholesome
atmosphere and pure food and waite
are all necessary in the production
good butter.
Punishment Of Children.
Parents should remember that eve
distressing. boodcurdling story told
child. every superStitiouS fear i.
stilled into It's young life. and the
mental attitude toward the child. tho
whole treatment of 1t. are simply MA
Ing photographic records In its natu.
which will be reprodut ed with scie
tito exactness in its future life. sa
Orison SWEET Marden in Success NJ;
zine. Whatever you do. never pun.
a child when it is suffering with fea
1t is Il cruel thing to punish chldr
the way most mothers do anyway. b,I
to punish Il child when it is al,ead
quiveriLg with terror. and especial.
when you are angry. Is terrible. tt,
same principle applies to punishin
children in hool
Asineourt.
Agincourt. from which Henr!
made his triumphal entry into Lond,
Is our English way Of spelling All
court. Just as Blenheim Is simia
corruption of Blindheim. In about tw
aud half hours Henry's little arm
slew 10000 Frenchmen. nearly twis
as many as England lost outright
battle during the Boer war. lastin
over two and half years. and yet "
talk complacently of our modern arm
Of precision! \ monument at Agir
court marks the cemetery of the s!ain
Few battlefclds have changed their al
pearance SO little. The fed may l.
reached within Il railway hour fro
Doulogne. bat few tourists go to I'll,
scene Of England's most wonderful
feat Of arms.--I.ondon Chronicle.
Spicsd Cake.
When making spiced cakes Away
sift the spices with the aour. Tbey
viii b. poyo evenly distributed.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
BEAT THE BANK.
A French Naval Offers Daring Elk.
pedient at Monte CARO-.

PSVS0uS az tVVuS0 S0boOs
Those who have visited Monte Car
10 have heard Of If not seen the pitiful
ruin of many an unfortunate person
who has lost his last franc in PLYING
ut roulette in that palatial gambling
den. All are not so fortunate as to
have an armored cruiser at their dis
posal. as was the case With French
naval Off, er some years ago. He had
gone ashore in the morning with
naught in his pockets but his own
earnings. BY noon it was all gone.
II he but had another 500 francs he
was sure of winning. During those
morning hours of failure be had work.
ed out a system. and with just few
francs more success was certain. He
would use the ships money. Perhaps
it was not just the right thing to do.
but in another two hours he would be
able to return it, would have recouped
his own loss and have won who knows
what fortune besides.
At sunset he returned to bis ship a
ruined man. The system. like NIL sys-
tens Of the sort, had failed. What
was to be done? To return home
would mean dishonorable discharge.
lifelong disgrace. If not even more Sc
we're punishment Death seemed the
only alternative. But no: he would
make one final attempt to save him
self. He would force the authorities
Of Monte Carlo to return to him what
be had lost or he would blow up their
gambling palace!
As soon as he was again on board
bis order was: "Clear decks for action.
Raise the muzzle Of every gun and let
them point toward the heights Of Mo.
naco."
Whatever the sailors might think Of
such an order mattered little; obey
they must. With all haste messen-
ger was sent ashore with note, and
the captain meanwhile paced the deck
in silence awaiting the reply-a reply
which meant life or death to him.
Finally the messenger returned car.
rying a bag of gold coins. That night
the French cruiser weighed anchor
and quietly steamed out into the Medi-
terranean. her captain happy that he
had Jared no worse and the authorities
Of Monte Carlo only too glad to be rid
Of so dangerous Observation-Disclosures
Star.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
COSTUME FOR
AERO And AUTO

u " nth women everywhere
NM going wild over avia
ton and with society
buds bpsieping the I'll
NOUS fliers With entreaties for flights
In their machines tas passengers. OF
course). the American manufacturers
of these auto aeroplune habits think
they will make fortunes selling them
The costume is a combination habit
princess model, of navy blue 10th over
boomers. The princess is divided aud
stuck into short leggings covering ~"
boots In front there Is a hood Whit h
il placed around the face by means of
small thong. The flaps of the co.i'
NAV be looped back so as to Ike Qua
of the way when the woman Ilicr sits
in the seat of her monoplane or b''
plane.
According to all the tliers. men and
women. who have made asvents iii
balloons or aeroplanes. the upper re
gions of the air are very cold. Aero
plane clothing must therefore be warm
and light and tit snugly.
Women who think seriously Of tax
ing up flying should be warned tim
they must give up the notion of car
ing about their appearance. since oil.
and grease aud gasoline pervade the
machines.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
Virtuous Indignation.

1.-THE reporter who came to see about
the fancy ball was horrid creature"
"Why:"
HE asked for my picture to publish
with the account, and told him indig-
nantly did not care for such notori-
ETY.. Then l had to so out Of the room
a minute and forget my picture. which
was lying on the table near where he
was standing. and
HE took It and put It inT'
"N.no; he l.left 1t there."-Baltimor
American.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
For Sale

Sp Of four year old mules, h rnes
a d W agon Span of gedlngs, weigh
lO5U each. One 1900 10. work mare
top buggy harne and hous hold good
SUI b az = nge &c. Can be en- ne
door 10 Il cfia,d Mcleod S res dence
Roman, w. A. PRlEST.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
The Short WaV
Canas Hot Spring
is by way Of
SlOan'S Ferry

The new road will be all COM
pleted and ready for travel Mon
day, June q, 1910, and the Sloan
ferry over the Flathead river is
NOW ready to convey persons
and teams across. This is the
short way to reach 'Camas from
either the north or south.
Remember that when going to
Camas the Ronan-Sloan's Ferry
route is the SHORT WAY.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
eossing the Boss.

"Your clerks seem to be In a good
humor," remarked the friend of the
great merchant.
EYES," replied the great merchant.
my wife has Just been In. and It
tickles them to deuth to see somebody
boss me Observation-Disclosures Rec.
ord.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
On Her Side.

On Her Side.
II didn't know you had any idea Of
marrying her"
n didn't. The idea was hers."..
Ippmroetk
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10
DOING GOOD.

DCTNNa 1ONJL1.
FIe is GOOD that DOES e
o'hers. i he s.fers for 'e {:
he does he is better sill, a.
rf rs from them to whom
coed lie is arrived 10 a. |
C goodness tat no hing ! o.
crease ci his suferings ':a7
it. If it ircves his death |, ;N
is at its 8 mint it is hero s, {
p'ete.-Eruyere.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1911-02-10

. . . . .
+ Readers of the Montana farm
!. articles in this paper are in.
|. vited to submit questions relat.
+ ing to any phase of agriculture.
!. These questions will receive
!. the prompt attention of special
!. lists. Submit all inquiries to
!. Professor H. F. Patterson of
+ Bozeman, Mont.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1911-03-09
Legal Notice.

Frank p. Stultz, residing at Goodwell, Ok
lahoma. will take notice that on the 7th day
OF February, 1911, Charles T.. Spargur as ad-
ministrator of the estate of Jonn ID. Stultz,
deceased. hlod his answer and cross-petition
In the Common Pleas Court of Highland
county Ohio, in cause No $40. pending in
said court, in which Pearl Sparsur is plain
Till and the said Frank L. Stultz and others
are defendants, in which pleading the said
administrator alleges that on the nth day
OF December, 1910. he commenced proceed
lngs In attachment in said court being cause
No si69, against the said Frank p. Stultz,
and levied upon his, the said Frank =. Stultz,
10 interest In the real estate described in
the petition filed In said cause No s4l0; that
since = aid levy was made, said real estate
has been sold by order of said court, made
In said cause No. $40, and the lien obtained
proceeds OF said sale, now In the hands of
the sheriff of said county that said sheriff
now has in his hands, In said cause No. 8iiO.
as said Frank p. Stultzs share of the pro-
ceeds of said sale, the sum of s13i.47.
Said administrator prays that said sum of
sl3f ~ may be held by said sheriff until the
issues In said attachment suit are determin-
ed and that II judgment should be obtained
by said administrator against said Frank p.
Stultz, said sum be applied to the payment
OF said judgment and the costs.
Said Frank p Stultz is required to answer
on or before April 8, 1911.
CHARLES E. SPARGUR, Administrator of John
DiStultz, deceased.
J. W. WATTS, Attorney. 3-i6
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1911-03-09

indeed, In one OF the Summery frocEn
she had brought back from New York
She moved over 10 him, holding Oul
her hand. lie took ii with disguised
reluctance.
I'm so glad" She sighed. Il want
ed to see you-to talk to you alone
He bit his lip in his annoyance, shiv
about, JosieT
about Wednesday night. after pray
er meeting. Why didDt you wait for
meY'
"Why-ah-l had to get back to the
store you know. There were some
checks TO be made out and sent of
and I'D forgotten them. Besides" h.
added on inspiration. you were talk
ing with Roland, and | didn't want 10
interrupt you"
80 you left me to go home with
him?"
why. what else"-
'loure making me awful unhap-
py." Her voice trembed. You knew
| didn't want to walk home with Ro
land"
How could | know thatY"
81 should think you ought to know
II, Nat. unless you're blind, Besides,
told you once"
%True." he fenced desperately. but
that was long time ago, and how
could | be sure you hadn't changed
your mind? Besides. you know, |
mustn't monopolize you. II do
"WellY
"Why. If | do-ah"-
"If you're afraid people will talk
about us. seeing us so much together,
you needn't worry. They're doing
that now"
why. JOsie!'
"Yes. they are We've been going to-
gether 50 long. And even now you
don't seem glad to see me-"
"You should know | am"
"You don't act like It,"
ITS so unexpected" he muttered
| wretchedly.
"You didn't really think wanted
Roland Barnette 10 go home with me
Wednesday night, did you. NatT'
'It seemed so, but that's all right
Why shouldn't your
She turned to him. trembling lii
tie. Must | tell you. NatT'
"Oh, nor he cried In dismay
please don'tT
81 see must" she persisted you're
so blind It"-
"Josie. don't say anything you'l b'
sorry for" he entreated wildly.
II can't help 1t; I've got to. II wal
81 was because wanted to be will
you. Therep she gasped. frightened
by her own forwardness. NOW Pv'
said itF'
Duncan grasped frantically a
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1911-03-09
THE
FORTUNE:
HUNTER
Novelized by
LOUIS JOSEPH VANCE
From the Play Of the
Same Name by
WINCHELL SMITH
cspyrisht. 1910 by winehell Smith
and Loui, Joseph Vance


ITO save you from yourself, old
man. Here's the heiress you came
here to cop out ready and anxious,
everything else coming your way, and
and you're more than half inclined
to back out. You make me tired"
IL suppose | must. But can't help
IT, can't make you see how the
thing looks to me. You know-I've
written you all about everything
what this place has meant to me.
Until | came here | never realized it
was In me to make good AT anything.
But here | have. I'm doing so well
that Id actually have some self re-
spect II wasn't bound to play this
low down trick on Josie Lockwo
I've worked and succeeded and been
Of some service to people who were
worth it,
"Who2 Sam GrahamT
HE and his daughter
"Oh. his daughterg'
"Now. get that foolish idea out of
your head. There's nothing In It
Betty's just simple. sweet little girl
who's had pretty hard time aud
never real chance In life-untll |
managed to give IL to her. And I'd
feel pretty good about that If oh,
there's no use talking to you!"
mo; go on. You're very entertain
ing" Kellogg laughed mockingly.
"well, have tried to keep to the
terms Of our understanding singled
out this Lockwood girl and worked all
the degrees-didn't say much, you
know-no lovemaking just let her
catch me looking sadly at her once in
awhile"
That's the way to work It."
"Yes, that's the way" Nat assented
gloomily.
Kellogg laughed with delight Nat"
he cried, my poor crazy friend. listen
TO me. This working and church GO
ing and helping old Graham Is all
very noble and fine. and Pm glad
you've done it, This drug store is a
monument to the business ability that
| always knew was latent In you.
And clean living hasn't done you any
harm. But now you're due To come
down to earth This place pays you a
neat profit. Well and good That's
all it'll ever do It's new to you now,
and you like the novelty, and you're
having the time Of your life finding
out you're good for something But
pretty soon it'll begin to stale on you,
and before long you'll find yourself
hating 1t and the town. and then you'll
be back where you started. Now, I'm
going to hold you to our bargain for
your own sake, If you're stuck on
the town and the work you can keep
right on just as well after you're mar
ried, but when you do begin to tire OF
It you'n want that fortune to fall back
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1911-03-09

scarborough--Real Estate.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1911-03-09

'Sssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssss
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1911-03-09

you are! But | won't renege now.
Ill play my hand out on the square
with her"
Upon this tableau there came a sud
den intrusion. The back door opened,
and Graham came in. Kellogg at his
heels. II was the voice Of the latter
that told the two they were discov-
cred. a hearty Hello. what's this?"
that rang In Mats ears like the trump
Of doom.
In a fash the girl dsengaged her
self, and they were a yard apart by
the time that Graham. blundering In
his surprise. managed to turn on the
lights AT the switchboard. But even
In the full glare OF them he seemed
unable to credit his sight. why.
Natw he quavered. coming out to-
ward the guilty pair Why. Natr'
Duncan took a long breath and Jo-
sizes hand at one and the same time.
"Mr. Graham" he said coolly, 'T'm
glad you're the first to know II. Josie
has just ask-agreed to be my wife"
Old Sam recovered sufficiently to
take the girls hand and pat IT, I'm
mighty glad, my dear" he told her.
~ congratulate you both with all my
heart"
And so will when have the
right" Kellogg added. smiling.
On, forgotp' Nat FASTENED to
remedy his oversight Josie, this Is
my dearest friend. Mr.. Kellogg; Harry.
this is Miss Lockwood"
Josie gave Kellogg her hand. IL"
she giggled--"Im pleased to meet you,
I'm sure"
Pm charmed I've heard a great
deal of you. Miss Lockwood. from
Mats letters, and | shall hope to know
you much better before long"
Its awful nice of you to say so.
Mr.. Kellogg"
"And Nat. old man"-Kellogg threw
an arm round Duncan's shoulder
congratulate you! You're lucky
dogw
I'm a dog, all right" said Nat
glumly.
"But we mustn't disturb these young
people. Mr.. Kellogg" Graham broke
In nervously. "They'll-they'll have o
lot to say to one another, I'm sure
so wen just run along I'm taking
Mr.. Kellogg up to the house, Nat
You'll follow us as soon as you can
won't your
"Yes-sure."
1--WE got some news for you. too
that'll make you happy"
Never mind about that; It'll keel
till supper, Mr., Graham" Kellogl
laughed, taking the old mans arm
"Goodby, both of you-goodby for |
little while"
"Goodby,"
Wasn't that terrible" Josie turned
back to Nat when they were alone
~ think II was real mean OF Mr.. Ora
ham to turn on all the lights tina
way" she simpered. Somebody els
might We seen"
Yes" agreed the young man, hal
distracted. but of course ] daren
turn them off again"
Never mind. We can wait" JOSH
blushed. I'm just sit here and wal
We can talk till Tracey comes, an
then you can walk home with me-"
Eyes. thatll be NICE" he agreed. bu
without absolute ecstasy.
Fortunately for him. in his tempe
of that moment, Pete Willing reele
into the shop two-thirds drunk. wit
his face smeared with blood from
cut on his forehead
"Scuse me-" be muttered huskil.
"I<iD see you a minute, docT
He reeled and almost fell-woul
have fallen had not Duncan caugl
his arm and guided him to a chai
Great Scott, Peter he cried. what
happened 10 youT.
M wife," Pete explained thickly.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1911-03-09
Legal'NOtice.

Harry II. Wright, whose place of residence
is unknown, win take notice that on the 3lst
mon Pleas of Highland county, Ohio where
the same is now pending, being cause No.
1887, the undersigned Eupice Wright, hled
her petition against said Harry II. Wright,
praying for divorce against him, for alimony
and for the custody OF their two minor
children, Charles Wright and May Wright.
Said cause will be for hearing on and after
the nth day of March, A. d., 1911.
EUNICE WRIGHT.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1911-03-09
Notice Of Appointment.

Estate of william II. Burnett. deceased.
The Undersigned has been appointed and
qualified as administrator, with the will an
nexed, of the estate of william II. Burnett,
late otHighland county, Ohio, deceased.
Dated this 9th day of February A. d. 1911.
JOHN GREATHoUsR.
d. @. Morrow, Atty.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1911-03-09
B. & O. S-W.
For Group

DR.. Bells Pine-Tar-Honey is.the best
known remedy. Do not experiment.
Get the genuine DIR. Bells Pine-Tar-
Honey.