The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-04-19
Marx TWain'S BurIesque of Emer-
son, LongfeIOW and Holmes.
1T SHOCKED THE IMMORTALS.
w. D. Howells' Description of the DIS.
NAL Effect of the Humorist's At
tempt to Make Game of the Dionifed
Literary Trio at the Boston Dinner.

In his memories Of Mark Twain in
Harpers w. ID. Howels tells of the
dinner in Boston when Mark Twain
with fatal effect. made game of Emer-
son. LCngfellOw and Holmes:
He believed he had been particu
larly fortunate in his notion for the
speech Of that evening. and he had
worked 1t out in joyous self reliance.
1t was the notion of three tramps.
three deadbeats. visiting a California
mining camp and imposing themselves
upon the innocent miners as respec-
lively Ralph Waldo Emerson. Henry
Wadsworth Longfellow and Oliver
Wendell Holmes The humor of the
conception must prosper or must fail
according to the mood of the hearer.
but Clemens felt sure Of Compelling
this to sympathy. and he looked for
ward to an unparalleled triumph.
but there were two things that he
had not taken into account. One was
the species Of religious veneration in
which these men were held by those
nearest them. They were men Of ex-
traordinary dignity, of the thing call
ed presence for want of some clearer
word. so that no one could we'll ap-
proach them in personally light or
trihlng spirit. | do not suppose that
anybody more truly valued them or
more piously loved them than Glen.
ems hlmself. but the intoxication of mis-
fancy carried him beyond the bounds
or that regard and embroidered him TO
the other thing which he had not taken
into account-namely, the immense
hazard OF working his fancy out be-
fore their faces and expecting them to
enter into the delight of it. If neither
Emerson nor Longfellow nor Holmes
had been there the scheme might pos
sibly have carried. but even this La
doubtful
II was the hapless president, fulfill
Ing the abhorred function of calling
people to their feet and making them
speak. When l came to Clemens |
introduced him with the cordial ad-
miration I had for him as one of my
greatest contributors and dearest
friends. Here. | said. in sum. was q
humorist who never left you hanging
your head for having enjoyed his joke.
and then the amazing mistake. the be-
wildering blunder. the cruel catastro.
phe was upon us. l believe that after
the scope of the burlesque made itself
clear there was no one there. including
the burlesquer himself, vino was not
smitten with desolating dismay.
There fell a silence. weighing many
tons to the square inch. which deep
ened from moment to moment and
was broken only by the hysterical and
blood curdling laughter of a single
guest, whose name shall not be hand
ed down to infamy. Nobody knew
whether to look at the speaker or
down at his plate. | chose my plate
as the least affliction. and SO I do not
know how Clemens looked, eXcept
when l stole glance at him and saw
him standing solitary amid his ap-
palled and appalling listeners, with his
joke dead on his hands. From a first
glance at the great three whom his
Jest had made its theme. I was aware
OF Longfellow sitting upright and re-
penSive puzzle. of Holmes busily writ
Ing Oh his menu with we'll feigned
erect of preoccupatiOn. and Of Emer-
son holding his elbows and listening
with sort Of Jovian oblivion Of this
neither world in that lapse Of memory
which saved him in those later wears
from so much bother. Clemens must
have dragged his joke to the climax
and left it there. but I cannot saw
this from any sense of the fact. OF
what happened afterward at the table
where the immense. the wholly inno-
cent. the truly unimagined affront was
onered. l have no longer the least re-
membrance. | next remember being
In room of the hotel where Clemens
was not TO sleep. but TO toss in despair
and Charles Dudley Warmers saying
In the gloom. We'll. Mark. You're
funny fellow 1t was as well as any
thing he could have said. but Clemens
seemed unable to accept the tribute.
Il stayed the night with him. and
the next morning after q haggard
breakfast we drove about and he
made some purchases Of bric-a-brac
Tor his house in Hartford, with soul
as far away from bric-a-brac as ever
the soul Of man was. He went home
by an early train. and he lost no time
III writing back to the three divine
personalities which be had 50 involun-
tarily seemed to flout. They all wrote
back to him. making it rs light for
him as they could. | have heard that
Emerson was a good deal mystifed
and in his sublime forgctfulncSS asked.
'Who was this gentleman who appear
ed to think he had offered him some
sort Of aunoyance| But l am not
sure that This is accurate. What |
am sure Of is that Longfc!low few
daNs aftCr in my study StOnrnI hnfD,.