The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1911-02-28

NOoAAh ~ POPNioA - 49,
- perfect boarding. house back
home. There they serve Heman hot
for breakfast and dinner and warm
him. over for supper. All right; can
watt
The conversation wandered from
Buenos Aires to Frisco and back again
until the cigars and coffee were reach
ed. Then the congressman blew a
fragrant ring into the air and from
behind it looked quizzically at his
companion.
"Well,'' he observed, $50 far as that
appropriation of yours is concerned -
He paused and blew second ring
Captain Cy stroked his beard
"Um-yesr' he drawled. Now that
you mention it seems to me there was
some talk of an appropriation
Mr.. Everdean laughed.
"I've been making Inquiries he
said. 81 saw the chairman of the COM
miitee on the pork bill. | know him
well. He's good fellow, but
Eyes. know. I've seen lots of poll
ticians like that. They're all good fell
| lers, but If ] was in politics I'd
make law to cut but out of the die
tionary."
"Well, this chap really is a good fell
| low. / asked about the $4,000 for
your town. He asked me why / didn't
go to the congressman from that dis
trict and not bother him about it.
said perhaps l would go to the con-
| gresham later, but / came to him
| first
"Sartin. Same as the Teller with a
sick mother-inlaw stopped in at the
undertaker's on his way to call the
doctor. All right; heave ahead"
''Well, we had a rather long con-
versation. l discovered that the Bay
port item was originally included in
the bill, but recently had been strick-
en- out"
Eyes, l see. Uncle Sam had to econ
omize, hey-save somethin' for rainy
dayY
'.Well. possibly. Still, the bill is just
as heavy. Now, Captain Whitaker, |
don't know anything about this affair.
] and it's not my business, but I've been
/ about today, and ! asked questions,
and-I'm going to tell you fairy tale.
1t isn't as interesting as your sea
yarns. but Do you like fairy sto-
RESP
"Land, yes! Tell few myself when
it's necessary. Sometimes / almost be-
lieve 'em. Well?'
"Of course you must remember this
once on a time-that's the way they
always begin-once on a time there
was a great man, great in his own
country, who was sent abroad by his
people to represent them among the
rulers of the land. so in order to typ
ically represent them he dressed in
glad and expensive raiment. went
about in dignity and''-
"And whiskers Don't leave out the
whiskers."
"All right-and whiskers. And II
came to pass that the people whom he
represented wished to-er-bring about
certain needed improvement in their
their beautiful and enterprising com
munity."
'Sho, sho! How natural that sounds
You must be mind reader"
ssNo, but / have to make speeches in
my own community occasionally. Well
the people asked their great man to
get the money needed for this improve
ment from the rulers Of the land afore
mentioned And he was at first al
enthusiasm, and upon the-the parch
ment scroll where such matters are in
scribeG were written the name of the
beautiful and enterprising community
and the sum of money it asked for
and the deal was as good as made
Excuse the modern phraseology. My
fairy lingo got mixed there"
Never mind. / can get the drift
Just as well-maybe better"
"And the deal was as good as made
But before the vote was taken another
chap came to the great man and said
Look here! / want to get an appro-
priation Of. say, $4,000 to deepen and
Improve river down in my state a
southern state wen say-Tve been to
the chairman Of the pork bill commit
tee, and he says it's impossible. The
bill simply can't be loaded any further
But find that you have an item in
there for deepening and improving q
4 harbor back in your own district
j why don't you cut that item out
shove it over until next year? Yor
can easily find a satisfactory explana
ton for your constituents. And vol
want to remember this: The improve
ment Of this river means that the-the
q well, certain sugar growing com
pany can get their stuff to market at 9
i figure which will send its stock up and
lup. And you are said to own consid
cradle amount of that stock. So why
not drop the harbor item and substi
tute my river slice? Them Well,
guess that's the end Of the tale.
He paused and relit bis cigar Can