The Washington bee., 1911-12-02
Public Men AndThinDs
(By the Sage of the Potomac.)

to be a continuous performance until
Willie Bill TAFT came along with a
Johnson stOp-watch Dancy does not
care any more for clothes than an
Esquimaux cares for an evening dress
suit of the Willie Wilkinson vintage,
but Dancy is particular about his feet;
that is about keeping them incased in
fine shoes, always well polished And
he has pair OF tOCtsies that are
near-C Cinderella. Give Dancy a neat
pair of shoes and he isn't at all partic-
ular whether he is attired in a pair of
pajamas or $9.05 suit Of hand-me
downs.
Thomas L. Jones has a strong lik-
ing for light clOthes-clothes that YOU
hear two blocks away. They are al
ways neat, well-htting, and cost a
modest sum, but they must be OF a
color that will permit his complexion
70 become a real dark background, or
Thomas will leave them lying on the
top shelf of a Seventh street cut-rate
drug store.
DR.. Williston goes in for fantasies
and a riot of colors. He has no time
to study styles, and never knows
whether his trousers are creased in
front or back, or at the sides. Fact
is Docs trousers are never creased
again after they leave the store. He
has never joined any pressing club,
and regards such an institution as a
mild form of dementia-Americana
Prof. w. H. H. Hart regards clothes
with one suspicious eye. He can't
connect clothes up with a knowledge
Of law, and so forgets all about tail
ors and styles. While Doc. WillistOn
is a free-thinker when it comes to
clothes, Prof Hart can make Doc.
Williston look like a ginger cake in
bucket of concentrated lye Prof.
Hart's attire is so reminiscent that it
takes us way back about four cen
turies before the stone age. The
Prof is so absorbed in the theory of
law, and taking care of the "bairns,"
that he is liable, without a moments
notice, to appear as Phyllis ready for
the bath" at any time Professor is
quite eccentric when it comes to gar
ments for attiring his near-Appollo
form. Prof VIM. Richards has d
strong prediction for trousers that
are so wide at the bottom that they
resemble the further end of a mega
phone. The suppOsition is that he
makes his own trousers, for nothing
like his special brand of pantaloons
have ever been seen outside of the
Smithsonian. At the bottom, Prof.
Richards pantalOOnS come dangerous
ly close to a seismatic disturbance
Rev. Dr. VIM. Howard, that good old
soul who dispenses religion and bail
bonds, certainly loves a white vest
In winter or summer, rain or shine, at
funerals or weddings Rev Howard
sports a white vest that is set three
ways for Sunday, and is a connecting
link between the style in vogue dur
ing the time of Nero and the style
in vogue during the French renna-
SenCe.
Speaking about Rev Dr. Howard
calls to mind his son-in-law, George
Collins, who is the keeper of the
seal for Rising Sun Lodge, Odd Eel
lows, and a praticioner at the bar
bar of justice. 1t is a mighty apnrO-
pirate organization, this Odd Fellow
fraternity, for George, for he is Ger
tdinly an odd fellow. George is about
as secluded as pearl in deep water;
as reticent as one of the Egyptian
kings who has lain for thousands of
years III one of the pyramids; and as
cordial as an attack of mumps, and
yet the fellow, somehow, gets there.
He moves around as silently as
sphinx-sOrt Of makes a gumshOe
campaign. He voluntarily estranges
himself from society ,aHd imposes the
task of attending to all social duties
upon his brOther-in-laW, DR. VIII
Howard To look at George, YOU.
would believe him a callow youth
from the back bay district who had
set out to form a mutual admiration
society consisting of himself and him
self, But he IS a very deceiving
cuss, and stored up in his brain
loft IS a few ounces Of grew
matter which, if spread upon a
slice of hustle and socialability ought
to make him a winner Of the derby
But George can't be anything but
if he tries. He was born
some time during an eclipse of the
moon, or when some comet was Wis
ible to the naked eye, and is therefore
overly cautious But the fellow is a
clean chap, and possessed of no mean
order of ability, and one Of these DAYS.
he'll bust the shell Of timeritv that in
cases him, and get as much hustle on
himself as his father-in-law possesses.
and you know the Rev. DR.. VIM.
Howard has a corner on hustle and
get there.
<
All of us Eve uns" who have BEEN
brOnz existants for a few years will,
recall that about ten years ago the
manufacturers of Sapolio got out anI
jingle on "Spotless Town"
in which DR.. Brown was made to|
rhyme with the spOtless sapolio-I
secured village [ saw DR.. Robert
w. Brown driving down the street
the other day behind that horse Of
his which is so slow he has to push
on the lines to keep him from swal-
lowing the bit, and the Dr. Brown. of
Spotless Town fame reverberated
my memory CuspadOr. Now
our Dr. Eleventh Street Brown IS as
particular as his Spotless Town name
sake, but when it comes to the coin
of the realm he doesn't care a rap
whether the money you hand him IS
fresh from the bureau or whether if
is covered with germs, because lust
&C cOOu az If hits hi- bo-Jo - -.