davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23
OPIUM TRADE IS
VERY FUNNY ONE.
Hmo MANIFESTATIONS Run
FROM FORGERY TO AN
BLoPEAIRNT.
lMaIl speeIaI % Tho AaverlIaef.l


HLo, june IA mysterious letter,
q runaway wedding and an automobile
trip from lilo to Kona were tho direct
causes for tho baling Of Emil dc Mello,
the well known chauffeur, 10 Honolulu
last week Hc WAS aubpenaed by the
federal authorities to give testimony
against certain Chinese gentleman
who Is suspected Of having imported
opium IN large quantities and TO have
distributed II IN Hamakua and Kpna.
De Melo had few weeks ago taken
this man 10 Kona IN an auto, and the
authorities believed that cargo Of the
dope had been taken TO KOna as we'll
on that occasion,
DO Mell0 returned from Honolulu
yesterday IN the clnndlpe. ~ appears
| that he WAS tho victim Of queer
trick, IL appears that some one 10
| llilO wrote d letter ~ u, =, District
Attorney Brect0ns and signed 10 y 90
Mfllois name, IN this letter dc MellO
putpGrted to know 'fall about" tho
| opium troubles IN iiilO and offered ~
| lft the authorities have the benefit VI
this knowledge. Tho authorities ari
perfectly satisfied that this letter wal
a forgery, and hops 20 nDprehend ihi
writer VI Tie letter aud ~ make u N
bot FOR him Aa ha deserved
The auto trip which lent color ~ ilf
story nBf0lded ~ the letter, was hlsf
Orphaned satisfactorily u iurped on
that the 0eeasi0n fDr The 10nrAfg VA
q runaway match, The Ghipeae etehllni
u young Hawaiian gid away from heI
FOLKS and maIglnR heH The W.
elanheaFa appeared % hla HllpehheH,
The nuihgriflea are Hliil busy viii li
aftermath NJ tho great Natsgn llni
opium raae, They have shown consider
! abs lglefest 10 ihe faet iNat q bFplhf
Ut gne 1T lhe county qilieeA who
nov under arFeai N H0pglulpj = shQf
lime ego made HThARfWeHlH ~ PNl
chase an automobile 10 did not y
mHiifr NJ fafil seenfe ihf mAehlni
aa ihele Hafe nVne gH Aapa " the wi
fHne Stables, hnl he QfgeFed gna gu
paia Hnm dgHn ~ deposit Ih
HnlhgliilM ave mainly inleieslea 2
hef0ual ~ lhe faei ihaf The hgaaell
condition NJ lha young men laRalfaf
J ual ~ lha fhep ~ tueh lhal ihe
eaula at9lAAfiig hn iahnn flr nnl
uHHalf FaflAefWelfl lAe nAlalH
J Seem ia hAff aaiiaa 4 inln lhelf haal
4 iAai aninH hHAf AHfa emrlaffa II n
3 alsillhailen n ne aene from lilia
+ me AHlHlaf HlaiTIFiH n IN hnHfff
y quite possible lhai lhiH III = me Hhll
4 mss laHH M naihlnH
4 flnHlii iHa Hnilhnlfa hle lfnafii
n ~ laFf hfalH N aHpihsf lllilf lfHH
q aaiHa n hAleh eae N Ells shsHH p q
q afdIaHH 4la aeH HaaH aHeN
llan4HlA y ellfaNa q hAfa lAlfn I.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23
INSURGENTS COMBINE
WITH THE DEMOCRATS
NEW WOOL TARIFF aons no TIfh
FTAAAoB o0MMITTRH THH
MOOT AMENDMENT,

WASH BaTOR, Juno aa ~ vote
0f thirlgnIn 20 eighteen, ihe senate
ygalaIdny referred flo new Democratic
wggi lafin W ihe auanee committee
lha vote VIA lhe result gf q coalition
bllweeD M lnaaraenl lfepnblleana and
lhf Democrats
nn ihe 1a0r NJ lha senaial earlier "
ihe day, senator linnl NJ New YORK. 49,
g0raied The passage ~ lAe rnflprAellF
agreement win hla amendment
ans ameadmenI ia W lle eneel ihal
papaI he u0i subject ~ lhe iafma lf
lhh reciprocity ARleemfnl billn an 90
p9n dniY u planad BY llh fanHdlAn
bnYnlpmpnl nn pnlp HA0as fal panal
Another amendment W ihe reciprocity
aalanWnni Alleh IL hfialr lhe senale
ID bY hfnainl loaRn NJ Aa#aehnsellai
ana maYllne llal hel ~ nnl subject
N M lifmH M lhf HHiafMfhl III lHHa
HH lln lahHalan nnFllnmfnl nafH
hapnlg ~ Che iaaali4A hshalH'ah
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23
SHOT THROUGH THE HEART N MIDST
OF SCUFFLE IN A GAMBLING RAID

being killed by fall. This looks as
If some effort had AZ first been made
20 conceal the real cause Of the deatb.
Matt0on WIS reached by phone by tbs
representative Of Tho Advertiser this
noon, and he gave tho facts Of the mat.
ter ~ f0llowai
The officer and his HaWaiinn helpers
bf0kG into the room 40 Mnulua whore
the gambling ~ alleged 10 have been
going on, aud In the confusion which
followed one VI the Japanese blew out
or overturned the lamp, There was a
general aeuf1e Ia the dnrkBeas, during
which the fatal shot WIS fred, When
The light WIS llt the unfortunate Japa.
ueBe WIS found dead on tbs floor, tho
bullet having passed through the heart.
NATION stated that the cOr0noris
Jury had given up The task Of fixing
the firing Of The shot on any particular
person., owing 10 the areat conflict In
The evidence which was brought before
II The llAwnIiaBs claimed that on0 Of
the Japanese fred The shot and TINT In
tho darkness be had biz bis friend by
mistake, The Japanese. on tho other
hand, elHlmed that 0ne Of the llhWai
ilaDs who we're with RODin fred tha
! shot,
! Sheriff Pun Intends 10 personally IN
YegllRnte The matter
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23
TAFT aHHna A WREATH
f0H CONFEDERATE DEAD

WAhln6gT0B, June ~ The aa.
nual tribute NJ Hpgffs and eplQgg Was
paid yesterday ~ the soldier dead NJ
lhn South IN Arlington Hall4nal lpmn
lafg viii ~ Ne historic aha0elailpns
~ DE h0me NJ lenefal u y Lhal com
mauqeI ~ lle Confederate fefeeai NE
uall0nal eelnelegY vac aeqlealea fai
ihe dag % lhe memory NJ lhf leAfpa
crates AmeHR ihe aelal eneiIpRs Ha'
p Agfalh from president Iall INf
Wlole ieHfeaefaia aeellen, Hllh ~ Hhl
afagaal NHa eageIfa Sill haNnlH lleH
.Hllr lAe heat asteial lheueaHa pef
Haaa siirnaea lAf felfmanleH
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23

main pafi IN little transaction some
what ~ line with That which II the
basis 0f the charges IN ibA Barrier mai
ter The authorities baliage that The
Officers we're Ia the babif NJ watching
the opium HmngRlen ana NJ eaafiigg
fr0m them bl9ekmai whenever Tiny
could gel them ~ position whom
HEY we're helpless w fbe matieT now
und0r consideration The ofiieer h bal
liegad ~ have frightened aa empi0ge
NJ nus Ut iha Maia0a boats Into cough
Ing up no lass iban iW0 hundred dollars,
The 0fieeT having caught the steamer
man with tbs goods,
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23

LONDON, June 2g,--Thc enthusiasm
this morning among all classes Of The
people indicates that there Is not the
siighteat dimlnution Of the national
feeling In favor Of monarchieal govern
mont, md public foryor Is At fever heat.
The state ceremonies under way arc
unriyaled IN tho history Of tho world.
Tho greatest enthusiasm prevails along
tho line Of march Of the pageant.
Crowns, Bceptros ana ewords.
The escort Of the lifo guards was late
In conveying the great sealed wagon
with the historic crowns, sccptr6a and
swords TO DcnnS Cnnona.
Second only to royalty is interest In
John Hays Hammond, special ambaasa-
dor from tho United States, and Mrs.
Hammond. Ambassador Hammond 10
ntiircd in n court dreas and In knee
brooches whilo Mrs Hammond 10 out
shining all other women In attendancO
In the splondor Of her costume,
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23

immealnif lnllel u aaaassaly n n
lafls n dleglhaaa ahamhallalais Hallei
ilhalafa ana nlauhpns nnWeaf should
alHHKa NH ~ BEND itH feille hHa
~ HlfpWaa ~ aHaaaa hilRaAH II
aaffi fllH e RIga lallH fel Hale N
a aaal.ia .a.9a aHllh lla llaI
-l-lI- ~ Ill--I
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23
GIVES APPROVAL OF
REASONABLE" TRUST
ILAvEMEYRR TEgTIFLEg-IIoUgE
Rejects THE BRIsTow
AMENDMENT.

WASHINGTON, june 2l,--Horaco
Ilayemcyer, son Of Henry Hayomoyor,
tho late sugar magnate. continued his
testimony today before the special com.
mittec investigating the alleged sugar
trust.
lie stated that no approved "reas0n-
ablGp combinations and elaseed the
National Sugar Refining Company as
n reasonable combination.
Rejects Bonate Amendment,
Tho House Of Representatives today
rejected Senator BriBtOw'g amendment
10 tho resolution calling for submission
10 the State Of the amendment 70 tho
constitution providing for election Of
senators by direct vote Of tbs people.
Tho vote WINS along party lines, the
r0llenll showing vOte of i7g Demo
Gratis TO llg Republicans
Presidents Message.
President Taft today aont a message
10 congress recommending tho enact.
ment Of amendments 70 the pre- food
ana drugs net 10 remedy tho defects
found by the Supreme Court IN mating
its recent decision,
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23

HIfl1 n1ImanY llHf y 'lha alFl'
ilan n kwHllsn hailleFhlpg aal prs
F., IA Iyl'.Gi'0 ''ip'isI' Slii.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23

HfW nAYfe inns ~ flaHaanl
4ali pfuhlps iaaHf y 3 luncheon HlF
81 hi fala aNmni aealae4 pig 81
pfafal ~ ihH leefNl eHrlma l.all
HlalIlaaH p ne all Aaa Iahaf# llaaf
faHe8
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23

John d. Rockefeller is the largest con.
trib1tor to the fund which Is being
raised In Now York TO provide q "safe
and sanoo Fourth Of July celebration
for Now York city. The oil man heads
tho list with $500 subscription.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23
Public Spirited.

w. W0ltcrs for the Hired Labor com
mittee reported that 500 laborers can
be had, 300 TO DO furnished by the
county government. Ho reported also
that the big Arms will also furnish
labor to tho headquarters. The letter
Of Castle q Cooke on this subject was
read. The firm told the committee to
hire twenty-five iaborers and charge the
cost 10 the house. This announcement
WAS received with applause.
Doctor Rogers reported that several
autos will be available for service In
Transporting officials on inspection
tours.
~ was decided that the work on Sat.
urday should start as early as possible.
Drays and horses furnished by firms
will not be In the districts until about
eight O'Clock, their services not being
needed until that hour. Other laborers
will be on hand Mt seven. Citizens can
start before or at daylight as they
choose.
The garbage department reported
that never In the history Of the career
Of the department has sch an amount
Of rubbish been carted away as during
! the past two weeks
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23
Ceremonies UnrivaIsd
in History Of the
World.
GREAT ENTHUSIASM
Whole Nation ReioiCes--
American Ambassador
at Court.

\ LONDON, june % (two.tweB.
~ p. m.)-fbeir Majeatiea King
George v and Queen Mary were
crowned IN Wcstminstor Abbey
shortly after two O'Clock this
4 afternoon.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23

aqe and implements committee, stat
ing that oighty.four horse drawn vehi'
clep were promised, and possibly by
Saturday may BIO available. The Chi
Bese and Japanese have been especial
~ liberal with their teams and drays.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1911-06-23

Empty Lot Menace.
Dr. j. a. -. Pratt, Of the board Of
health, called attention particularly TO
the necessity for giving attention TO
the empty or unoecupicd lots all over
town. The long grass and the dead
grass form breeding places for mos
anit0ea and neiqhbOrs use them as re-.
eeptaeles for Yin cans lie referred TO
one or two places
H. 7. spalding said that with regard
10 tho irwin properties arrangements
1 have been made 70 clean them up, In
cludiDg Tie "lrwiD sten for federal
building,
~ tits juncture Dr. Pratt stated that
n solution Of arsenic placed IN empty
lots va I'D kil on weeds and would 10
the same OF course, for Wesdy side
walks, bat care must be used a. The
arsenic II placed on laWne will XII
horses and dogs, etc,
M. Hpaiding stated that DO had talk
ed with Allan Herbert with References
10 making ase Of nn0eeppied lots, M
Herbert spoke Of plan IN operation
| ~ mainland cities W give SIMPLY lot
over ~ poor people IN which ~ felsl
vegetables ~ hOWaTe IN OT1m 70 lm
prove ibeir appearance, tif bad beei
l0ghlna around fDF suitable person q
paIa0nH f9f s9lHe VI ihe irwin lots
~ llaida f0T The japanaHe aDd y Is
Al, f0g The Chinese spoke Of work Nhlel
bas nlTaady been done W Ulsiflet I
where IN ne Ghlpeae and dApaneH
aualleY megl " lhe eleappp 9efA 20
been done
AZ Hsng Start
The clean ~ pamp4iRn - nel NHllA
uHill hHlUraRy fQf NDfh ~ hlHfi
maHY alalllfla NJ lAH llig, Thla ~
II paianl ~ angbQqg 8hQ FlaeH ihl0nH
ibf 9lienlHl neellQ9p NJ he ely eEpi
lflally, f9f ihe ihlaeHe Hna 1epanfl
residents eafH n ~ esfflllHh all nlHl
HallgHallllea n 90 enthusiasm ~ Hhlf
J They Ale Ralllna Aueg
Il AZ lAlH Hfllflis = tnaAflnfa NJ y
levy HAd fapniK HHfhaHr HanHflWfA
HlllfA d splhlaH HhHHl aaaAll llMe
Afap fallfa HHAf lhf ilHHh NAlNh
+. lHAH alAhaea item anl NJ ehF falHel
Il nHa flHaHfa NJ lhe i|lfan NJ u.
lhfaaaHalleN ffflHHaF lhHi Rl N a
Halhaaa fHlielllnH NlfN8 ~ ne "a
4 HHA hafH lffa HafhlHH ila# f
lnllAah II ~ HHlalnH II laHl q q
IHHlHl II iAH AllflHeHa aflfa HaI ~
llallaa fal laHlN
The Washington times., 1911-03-12
SHE HOLDS 1T UP TO THE
Girl Who Is Affected
Loretta's Looking Glass

comes within your speaking radius
gets "de-ahed."
Really, it makes me almost sick
the kind of sick you get when the sea
is rough,-tO hear the affected girl do
ing her promiscuOus 'de-ahing."
There Is no compliment In a love
word that gets all the sweetness
bumped out OF it by being hurled
about so indiscriminately. And it
makes me feel as if were being made
fun of. ridiculed! l get dreadfully
embarrassed. And get angry, too, at
being made so uncomfortable by one
who has not the fineness TO he un-
comfortable herself. It's a wise fool
who knows his own folly, but the af-
fected girl has not a suspicion OF hers,
so she must be the quintessence of
fOolishness.
Men hate her mannerisms. I never
knew but one girl who married while
the affected spell" was on her. And
her brother appeared in the wedding
cortege with a big safety pin draping
the tails of his dress coat into a
bunch on his back.
Affected girls are always making
themselves ridiculous. A guest at a
country house did II with n nicely she
never could have achieved by inten-
tion. She had "de-ahed" all the
guests, till the guests were tired of it.
Then she happened to be the only one
at the breakfast table. The butler
served her; and she-obeying the law
Of habit-said: Thanks, de-ah."
The butler gave notice. One of the
The Washington times., 1911-03-12
Chimmie's History

Lundun. and the mud was sumthing
fearse. Quean Elizabuth was out wawk-
ing, wich seams pritty funny, beeing as
she had awl the cartridges she wanted
and moor besides, and suddenly she
come to a CRATE big mud puddel full
of mud.
Beeing to stuck up to 60 erround the
1t, wich wood of maid her feat pritty
durty for a Quean, wen Sur Waltir
Rawlee quick took .awf his velvet ovfr-
coat and throo it rite in the mud pud-
del.
"wawk on that" he said, II got
moar home"
Well" sed Quean EIizabuth. Il
mite as well; you got it awl durty
now, enyway."
If that amt pullite, l don't no wat
is, beksus evin if she was a quean it
was up to her to go errOund the pud-
del inSted of showing awf.
Nobuddy new thare was sutCh place
as Amurrika in them days. so Sur Wal
tir Rawlee startid out in boat to
see If he Good find il. Suddinly a crate
big cloud of smoak blue ovir the boat.
Smell that" sed Sur Waltir Raw
lee. 'Sumbuddy is smoaking Virginia
cheroots. l bet enything this is
Virginia"
And so 1t was. Sur Waltir Rawlee
braut sum of the cheroots back to
Inglund to prove it. He was the furst
man that evir smoaked in Inglund,
but it dident make him sick.
The Washington times., 1911-03-12
Spinster Aunt's AdUice

Nv Dear Niece: After sending my
last letter off to you l had a call from
Mary Morris, or rather Mary EndicOtt
dts such a nuisance rememb berlng
womens married names when they
change them So often), and what she
tells me worries me dreadfully. or
course l understand that her point of
view is warped-dOuBle alimony al
ways affects the eyeSight of those
who look on at lovemaking-but 1 do
think. my dear. that you should avoiu
the gossip Of the piazza rockers at the
hotel down there at Palm Beach.
For gracious sake. don't permit the
woo;ng Of a man who is divorced. He
may be all right-mOst of them are
but it offers too many complications.
Then too, Mary told me you had
lately taken to long rides in the early
morning with a man who wears his
hair long, never puts on dress coat
and talks of the simple life. Well, if
he's got lots of money. all right, but
don't do It unless he has, for you can't
afford to have your husband queer if
You're going to support him.
Dear me. the very idea of those
mornings reminds me of the awful cold
] caught when l was young walking
barefoot through the wet grass to
please certain young man with
theories" about natures beauties.
The best way to put an end to your
thrills about these two men that
mention is to picture yourself as their
wives.
First-Picture yourself being asked
gracefully and loudly by some disa-
greeable matron whether you are the
First or second Mrs. c., and
whether having the first wife alimony
Is the reason you're wearing last
seasons hat?"
AS for the man in the flannel shirt:
The Washington times., 1911-03-12

well, my dear, imagine wanting to go to
big ball and having to stay home OF
let hubby go dressed like lumberman.
I attempted to ask May something
about Jack, but she got very huffy,
and said that as far as she knew there
was only one Jack" down there, and
that was Jack Norris, and as he
well as he was always with her he
couldn't have accompanied you on any
walks or rides.
I'm interested. Please write me more
at once.
YOUR SPINSTER AUNT.
The Washington times., 1911-03-12

Dey say dat Mulligan Nv de Milk
Trust amt got no heart, Jimmie. Dey
say he's es hard as de stature dere in
de square an es cruel IS de Russians
is to dem Jews dat Abe Koshey wus
tellin' me bout. But l don't b'Iive
dem. Jimmie; I know 1t amt so,
Sure yu knows MiIligan. He's de
feller wild de diamonds. He's got uh
red fat face, wild uh look dat don't
scribe nuthin' on it. and de middle NV
him Gums out in uh bow window an
he cant see his feet
Sure, dats him-'bout four feet
high by tree wide,
Der wus uh little gurl. bout tree years
OIL, uh trotten cross de street at de I'D
der end Nv de square. De wagons gifts
her all mixed up, an in &c middle Nv
de car tracks she stands still, scared
mos tn death. Jes es | sees her. uh
ice wagon wiv no driver on de seat,
Gums tearin' roun de corner | drops
me box an starts fur de kid. I WIS
jes givIn' up hopes, when Mulligan,
widout emmy coat ur hat on. Gums
rushin' out Nv his orfice. He grabs de
kid, takes uh Cuple NV steps, den de
wagon hits him. Did he go under?
Nav, he's too heavy fur dat: but he
gifts de kid tu de pa'ment all safe an
SCUM.
Den, who'd uh thunk ct? Dere stood
Milligan, his collier all busted an his
pants tore up near de 'nees, uh biIln'
an cooin' over dat kid, an de tears uh
rollin' down his face es thick es de
water in de fount'in. De kid jes smiles
at him, den her muvver cumes an takes
her away. MilIigan stans dere fur
uh-while, wipes his face an bald he'd
wiv his handkerchief, den beats ct fur
his orfice.
Dey can say all dey wants bout him,
Jimmie, but-well. L know fur sure dat
he's got uh heartw'
The Washington times., 1911-03-12

Harold IIarebrain stood at the stage
entrance with a bouquet of violets.
Gertrude Gorgonzola stood in the en-
trance of her dressing room reading his
note.
"Gurgling" Gorgonzola, Gertie's giant
gripman (married to her, mind you)
also read the note.
1t read: When you step from the
stage door tonight 1 shall carry you
away and dine"
Gurgling Gorgonzola borrowed a blue
pencil from the stage carpenter and
marked out the m in the last word.
Then leaving Gertie-
The Washington times., 1911-03-12

MUST say" growed Mr. Peeved savagely, biting
the end off fresh cigar, 81 must say think you
might prevent the kids using my umbrella to poke
bonfres with"
Il don't allow Jackie to have bonfres," said
hunt for foolish ideas to fuss about"
Foolish ideas, chr" snapped Mr.. Peeved.
That's just like a woman Do you suppose I'd
the kid has been poking bonfres with my umbrella.
Its all burned around the bottom and the ferrule
bent"
.Well il looked all right when vnu started ont
The Washington times., 1911-03-12

Nobuddy was nevir more pullite than
Sur Waltir Rawlee. He was so pullite
lie maid his living at it. Wen he was
a boy in Inglund, ware he was born
and razed, he always left haf his pie
on his plate and waited till evrybuddy
was out of the dining room befoar he
run back and ct it. That is how pull
lite he was.
One day it was raining orfull hard in
The Washington times., 1911-03-12
Identified

One day a big city bank received
the following message from one of
its country correspondents:
Pay twenty-five dollars to John
Smith, who will call today"
The cashiers curiosity became sus-
picious when a cabman assisted into
the bank a drunken fare" who
shouted that he was John Smith and
wanted some money.
Two clerks pushed, pulled and
piloted the boisterous individual into
a private room away from the sight
and hearing of regular depositors.
The cashier wired the country bank:
Man claiming to be John Smith is
here. Highly intoxicated. Shall We
await Identification?
The answer read: Identification
complete. Pay the money"
The Washington times., 1911-03-12

CIV ERY well, de-ah"
With a peculiar lifting of your
brows and a sweety-sweet
expression about your mouth, you ut
ter that abused word oftener than a
jerkwater train stops at the fence
corners when a passenger is in
hurry.
You 'de-ah" this. and you "de-ah"
that! She is too de-ah," It was a
''de-ah" play. You have just bought a
"de-ah" gown. And every one who
The Washington times., 1911-03-12
THINKS

SC-r-r-r-rub, Sc-r-r-r-rub,
Sings the fond mothers rub. as she
washes a shirt for her son. For
the lad of her heart has been
ordered to start for the war of
real bullets for fun
Dr-r-r-r-rub. Dr-r-r-r-rub!
Drubs in time to the scrub. The
mother knows we'll what it's for.
But she drives back a tear and
hides signs of fear. The mother
knows we'll that
It's WAR.
BY JINKS,
The Washington times., 1911-03-12

sons formulated a new rule for
guests-"Never call the butler 'de-ah.'
We have trouble enough to keep one,
without your helping to run him Off"
When you think about 1t, what is
the use of trying to improve on ma
ture? She turns out such admirable
fools" If she has made you one. why
put any finishing touches to her work
by making yourself a worse one? Af-
fected girls are the clowns in the mod
ern social court.
The Washington times., 1911-03-12
His Foreign Mission
REASON FOR EXCUSES

Augustus" said the boys parent,
your head master informs me that
you desire to become a missionary.
This noble aspiration"
PA, that was so. But it's off. I've
swapped my foreign stamp collection
for white mice"
The Washington times., 1911-03-12
Not Her Choice

Maud-Miss Oldun declares that she
is single from choice
Ethel-That's true. The man she
expected to marry chose another.
The Washington times., 1911-03-12

this morning. said Mrs Peved I'm didn't anything the
with it."
"Oh, go go on" snapped Mr. Peeved. Tell
umbrella Hand few knocks the effect that I'm looney
and don't know burned umbrella when l it.
Take from wasn't the patient in the world
I'd go dppy this house"
WELL III ask Jackie about it, said Mrs Peeved patiently "Are
didn't somebody's else umbrella coming the
trainT
"Oh, you go-I told you So" Now
I'm supposed be hep belongings tell
carried umbrella the Office this beside
desk, picked and carried home What had
stand the subway usual and used the handle of the umbrella
slip in the Now and tell that somebody took
way from while l wasn't looin'"
Mrs Peved shifted and putting down her embroidery
the hall and brought back umbrella question
stopped place" gowd Peeved Hit
home every night always do but, of course
come in you've got to begin to
"Why. John cried Mrs Peeved this umbrella burned
Ioohre of pickle inside it, and crumbs, with
'DIls Saloon it, and-and-why here's
""Th umbrella belongs Bill Smh-youd better it."
paper itupsde
The Washington times., 1911-03-12
Her View of It

Mr.. Askit-Do you think marriage is a
failure?
Mrs. de Vorsay-No; merely a tempo
rary embarrassment