davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

Norwich, Gonna rooster and q
hen. unwilling but material wit
nesses" in a chicken theft case.
crowed and cackled to such an extent,
despite threats OF being punished Tor
contempt Of court, that Judge Heed
was obliged to suspend the session OF
the superior court The two wit
nesses" we're expelled from the room.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

Heretofore in Germany the tele.
graphic rate throughout the empire
has been about a cent a word, with a
minimum of twelve cents. The other
day an innovation was instituted, en-
abling residents Of the great cities to
send letter kilograms at night deliv-
cradle the next mOning at a rate Of
approximately a twentieth of a cent
per word, the minimum of twelve
cents for each dispatch, however, be
ing retained. Undoubtedly the letter
telegram will be much availed of by
business houses.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

An unwary husband in Chicago
taught his wife to box, and when she
disciplined him by a good thrashing
he sued for divorce on the ground Of
cruelty. Which, as feminine comment
has it, was Just like a man.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24
TAXES PICS OUT WALKING

ono Of the strangest OF the mW
nicipal officers In the realm OF the
pretty young Grand Duchess Ok Lux
embourg ID that ot tho officer VINO
taxoa the pigs IoT q walk twice q day-
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

Hod carriers in some parts of South
America receive $3,8OO a year in the
money Of the country, and perhaps
they can make living selling the
currency to numismatists.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

Sleep is a braip poison, so French
scientists say ore Of the most effec-
tive antidotes is an operate cat on
the back fence
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

One of the greatest pieces Of detec-
tive work in modern times was per-
formed by one of Uncle Sans customs
officials He discovered thirty pockets
In a woman's skirt.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

It Is going 10 bother actors and
dlvas to get married and divorced
more than once each during the busy
season.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

Agnos-Helen is popular, Is she2
aladya-My dearl She had three
people offer 10 take her cat and dog
this summer. -Ilarper's Bazaar.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24
ALExANDRA'S OPERA GLASSES

Queen mother Alexandra owns
pair of opera glasses, made In Vienna.
valued At 100000 They are Of platl,
mum. aat with diamonds, aapphiros
and rubieH.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

Aeroplanes have gone to carrying
mall and soon the iaded messenger
hoy may be supplied with wings.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

A tramp comet is said to be headed
this way, but we refuse to sit up all
night to give it a handout.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24
LONG LIVED TURNIP

Turnip seeds have been
be dormant for seven ye
being planted TOO deep. Al
tam y aprouh
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-11-24

Possibly it is called Indian sum-
mer" because football rooters carry
on like Indians.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
Editorial PAGE Of Gle Cacoma Cimes
nelnNEC Business office Main yss, AfTs8
1 HUMID Circulation Dept. Main 783 A17s3
Editorial Dept. Main 7O<, A17as
OFFICE-70s COMMERCE. ST.
Taft Sows the Wind

AT an Iowa town bearing the omnous name of
Waterloo, Mr.. Taft unburdened himself OF what is
doubtless his true message to the country In brief
est terms it amounted to this
LET BIG BUSINESS ALONE, OR YOU WILL
HAVE A PANIC AND A LOT OF YOU WILL
STARVE TO DEATH.
To be specific he dealt with four aspects of
big Observation-Disclosures, trusts tariff and currency
Ito this effect:
AS to the railroads. we have solved the problem of
reasonable and equitable rates by means Of the in
terstate commerce commission. IT. to bother
the railroads any more-they re all right.
AS to trusts, we have that splendid decision of the
supreme court The oil and tobacco trusts are
but memories. IL any real bad ones are dis
covered they will promptly be squelched in the same
way.
AS to the tariff, we've got some men at work find
ing out if it is too high If So it will be very greatly
lowered in way that will not disturb business or
interfere with anybody profits.
AS to currency we need the Aldrich Central bank
worse than they used to need pistols in Texas. 1t
has been recommended by a number of estimabe
gentlemen who certainly ought to know what they
talking about Take it, and currency will be out
of the way, same railroads, trusts and tariff
If this settlement Of veXed questions is accepted,
capital will employ labor and all will be we'll; if it is
rejected, capital will refuse to do business panic will
ensue, and the president will doubtless say of the
situation he did before in somewhat similar
circumstances:
"God knows-I don't"
There never was a president of the United States
so utterly at sea as William Howard Taft. There
never president with so poor grasp of funda-
mental economies nor with so little understanding
ing the people with panic and starvation unless they
heed the bidding of the masters, he is inviting some
thing worse than panic
He is counting revoution
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

the joke was on him. He wept
real weeps. l can't stand tears, so
l didn't take his picture. And
Furthermore l united him.
He was the most grateful crea-
ture you ever say, but flighty as
ever. One word led to another
and first thing l knew he was talk
ing about marrying me.
Forget it, Lancelot," I said.
your wedding to Miss Van Svelte
comes off tomorrow"
"She won't want me-" he CUR
gled, with this paint on my face
warranted not to come off until
next week."
He made ridiculous figure, but
the figure of his income-500,0 900
bucks year-isn't so ridiculous.
So l told him that If Miss Van
Svelte gave him the toss l would
consider his fairy prince proposal
maybe.
l went home instead of back to
the office of the DAILY Sneeze. 4"
! was too full of tumultous feel
ings.
(Continued.)
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
How Society Women
Ward Off Wrinkles

Wrinkles are not strangers to
one, but when you acquire such
tisfigurements you know how to
lose them in a hurry. One not
in the secret wonders how those of
strenuous social duties and late
hours can so completely ward off
The usual marks of care and dissi-
patton.
No one need wear wrinkles in
public, mol those horrid rings be-
meath the eyes, after learning what
1lain, ordinary saxolite will do.
When any of those hateful marks
appear, send to the drug store for
an ounce of powdered saxolite and
a half pint of witch hazel. Mix the
Two, battle the face in the solution
and-that's the whole secret.
Nothing works so miraculously.
The chin is inclined to double; this
-rouble, too. may be kept in check
III the same way. Advt.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

When l woke up this morning l
still felt awful sorry for poor, dis
gracefully rich Lancelot Scadsbor-
ough. Think of him having to car
ry frozenfaced Gladys Van Svelte
with a couple of millions of her
own. It's more like bank merger
than marriage. What Lancelot
needs is some poor but warm
hearted girl that wouldn't love him
for his wealth alone, although the
wealth would come in somewhat
handy.
At the office of the "Daily
Sneeze" tip came in from some
of Lancelot's loyal friends that
they had put something over on
him at the polo club. There'd
been farewell bachelor dinner
and they had lassoed Lancelot and
painted half his face black and
tied him out in the paddock. 1
rushed out to get a picture of him
If | could.
He was still dashed 10 a tree and
when he saw me coming with my
camera he nearly tainted. He
wasn't near such out-up when
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

of the wall paper in the school
house.
Tybald Newcomb says there
were 4,9S7 chiggers got on him
while he was attending the pio-
neer meeting at Plum Point
schoolhouse Saturday. He thinks
the other three got lost in the
grass and couldn't find their way
out.
Hez Gookins calls his wife the
queen of spades because she made
all the garden this year.
AND HARD CIDER.
This is the time of year when
comes
The autumnal equinox,
Also fall hats, late county fairs
And newest styles In socks.
There was a heated argument
at Lank Piunkett's store last night
as to whether Mona Lisa was a
new vaudevilie star or the name
of a hotel in Terre Haute.
In every small town there are
some women who do not seem to
have much to do except TO sit
on the front porch and make re-
marks about persons who pass by.
After not being able to decide
81 summer what kind of straw
hat to buy Escrow Davis has final
ly concluded to get a general pur-
pose SLOUGH hat for winter wear.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

in life left the fashionable world
to which she was born and gave
of her time and her funds to
make the life of the poor. Hitter
ate children of the Southern
mountain districts better worth
living. Before she went to them
they merely existed. And right
here Is good time to add: If
any amateur philanthropist feels
that he or she would like to aid
in Miss Berry's work they are at
liberty to send money, clothing or
books to Miss Berry at Rome, Ga
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
Put 1t Down


At Verdon, Neb, Tas
BLOODHOUND Says the Associated Press
ION of these theatrical which included
fifty chorus girls As the presidents train moved by, the girls
stuck their heads
executive, who
the ground picking skirts
distance the tracks calling president
travelling Is a souvenir
We want to know how long this thing
We want know what Archie de Butt doing during the
element We what of greeting"
turned for those kisses We want to know where the judicial dig
this while Bill
those girls We
railroad this nation without chorus girls. picking
skirts, skirts skirts,
train Time has when Bill
chorus girl 1t much him
on vital national issues after being chased by chorus girls
their arranged leaping
mentoes the shape of of his clothing This
to be stopped. 1t has to be stopped
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
THE WASP
Published Weekly
Subscriptions Now Due.
Advertising Rates ON Request.

What has become of the old
fashioned girl who made a scrap
book SO as to have something
good to read on rainy days.
School opened at Postum Hol-
low Monday with nine boys, sew
enteen girls, three dogs and a
watermelon.
Job was a patient man, but then
he never had to try to match a
piece of dress goods for his wife.
The farewell baseball game of
the season in Moredock's pasture
Thursday afternoon was called in
the seventh inning because Pete
Scroggins, the umpire, had to go
home and help with the milking.
Do you remember the old time
male quartet that went around
singing "Larboard Watch" late at
night?
Miss Topsy Turvine strained her
neck Thursday attending the MILL
merry opening.
Some mems idea of economy is
to quit taking the paper or maya
zine their wives like the best.
Miss Myrtle Clevis, whose essay
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

My! my! Listen to this! Taco
ma woman are growing bigger
than New York women.
Who says so? SSH. Not so
loud. If the women heard her
name mentioned they might be-
come real angry and probably call
her a mean old cat, and other
things. She's-come closer-she's
the buyer for one of Tacoma's larg-
est stores, catering to the very
fashionable trade.
The buyer has just returned
from New York, where she had an
opportunity to observe the differ
ence between the women.
MORE BUXOM NOW
"New York women are
large, but Tacoma women are
much larger. Today the av-
erage customer weighs from
100 to 1875. She buys a 80
suit. We are selling more 80
suits now than we used to.
The 80 few years ago was
the prevailing size. The pro-
portions of these suits are
bust 3S, waist 20, hips AZ to
43.
"a number of our customers
are wearing 3S size suits who
think they rave 36. And a num-
Der who think they are wearing
3S's have 40's.
Tacoma women are from two
to three sizes larger around the
hips than New York women.
The reason? Well, that is a
secret.
Tacoma women haven't taken
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
Observations

Los Angeles proposes to buy
out the electric light companies
for Sc, 900 and add light, heat
and power to its peerless water
system. Public service for public
benefit by public enterprise is a
growing idea, all right. Let 'er
grow!
Rockefeller likes to talk about
his business start; perhaps to
divert attention from his bust
ness finish, which is much more
serious for the public.
So Ballinger won't sue Pinchot
for libel, after all. In trying to
forget, and hoping the public will
do likewise, the one-time secre-
tary of the interior is showing a
lot of horse sense.
Three recent 'was-ers," now
"has-beens": Theodore Roose-
welt, Porfirio Diaz, Wilfred Lau-
rier. And yet the sun rises and
sets, the breezes blow, and the
stars wheel in their courses!
Attorney-General Wickersham
says: "If l continue in office to
the end of President Taft's term l
will send some of the trust mag
mates to prison" Wonder if
there will be any of the big con-
, tributors to the Taft campaign
fund among them?
N. Y. workingman was fined
$40 for drinking soup out of a
plate in a restaurant. Disorder
ly conduct" was the charge.
,, Worse things have happened in
Newport society-and no convic-
| tions.
Boston fishermen caught a
three-year-old deer in their net off
the harbor the other day. Claim
they hadn't been celebrating the
Maine election returns, either.
Chicago Tribune sends inter-
viewers behind Taft to see what
people really think of him. Michi-
gan verdict: "Perhaps-if he gets
tariff reductions in next con-
gress." Illinois: Dead duck"
Kansas: "No good"
Newest thing from the fashion
faddists is chain-mail gown for
pretty women. Nothing new about
| that. Pretty women have had a
chain of males along ever since
the world began.
They're going to raise 'possums
for commerce on 100000 acres OF
land over in Australia. Wonder
if 'possum an Eaters will taste as
good bought from the butchers as
when you used to take the dogs
and chase 'em.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
Our Girls More Buxon1

off their hips yet The large bust
and hip sizes are due to their
corsets."
The buyer entered into a tech
nical description of the effect Of
long corsets, straight lined suits,
and other secrets of correct
grooming that a mere man report
er failed to understand. This val
liable information will have to be
obtained by the women readers
first hand.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

on High ideals" thrilled the audi.
ence at Plum Center last June,
went to work Monday peeling to-
matoes at the canning factory.
Abner Henthorn stuck a scythe
in hornets nest day before yes
terday to see whether there was
anything in 1t or not. On account
Of the affirmative response Alb is
still in bed.
Nearly every unmarried man
under forty thinks there are al
least half a dozen girls would
have him If he'd ask them.
Bulwer Cowles says it's aston
fishing what strong cigars some
fellows can smoke when they get
to town.
After Sim Gullion got done
growing about the high prices he
had to pay for schoolbooks for his
two children, he went down to the
grocery and bought SO worth OF
Polar Cat plug tobacco.
Titus Wadd will not let his son
Henry go back to college this fall.
He says that about all Henry did
after he came home last June was
to roll his trousers half way up
to his knees and call the neighbors
guys" and "mokes."
Miss Myrtle Hatrick will teach
at Postum Hollow this year. She
was selected because her hair
came nearest TO matching the color
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
THE LAY OF THE GAsTRoNoME
BY BERTON BRALEY

BY BERION BRALEY
They've kept me on "dyspeptic's food"
Until my palate's )paralyzed,
Much sanitary tea" they've brewed
And fed me crackers sterilized,
But now the diet rules are off
At dining I enthuse again,
At predigested grub l scott,
I'm eating what choose again.
Say, 1t was awful, while the bunch
Were putting roasts and steaks away
had to eat "healthfood" lunch
And stow my "ba riley flakes" away.
But now I scan the bill of fare
And order chops and stews again.
For anything like 1 dare
I'm eating what choose again.
Lobster and crabs and other fish
Bring back to me a thrill once more
Although In tasting such dish
I'm likely to be Ill once more
Yet walters, chefs and such-like folk
Will now receive their dues again
My dietary bonds are broksl
I'm eating whae / choose againi
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

minded his men that the remedy
FOR political errors is at the polls
This order not only widened the
growing gulf between Mcclellan
and the president but 1t made such
fuss that when George came to
write the story of his own cam
paign he very carefully omitted
any allusion to this history-maa-
ing bulletin.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
Then Well All Be Angels


Pitsburg has the lowest death
undertakers feeling the
the facts: High living"
People all of
Health Poor people,
practice instead of following habit"
The future looks brilliant going
the time less be
anything Result: life everlasting.
In point OF fact shall simply evolute
But dickens shall
me harp trust will boost prices of sight,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
most
ANYTHING

A PRAYER BEFORE DAWN.
o may my eyes be turned to see
Beyond the boundaries of night,
The first pink morning ecstacy
AS darkness turns to light.
And as the adoring sun shall rise
Sure and serene to its high goal,
So may my hope flame UP blue
skies
A pathway for my Soul.
And as bird whose anthem
breaks
Across the dawn on eager wings,
May my heart be a voice that
wakes
From night to soar and sing.
May no man look upon my face
And fail to find a glory there,
That lightens up with fragrant
The corners of despair.
May no man walk a little way
Beside me through the dust
and heat
And fail to find the common day
A human thing and sweet.
And when the twilight hour is
here
Still may its deepening shad-
ows be
All golden with a human cheer
The glad day brought to me.
Which would you rather do,
hear a cough drop or a gum boil?
Some men commit suicide and
others just sleep in folding beds.
A New York judge prefers to
have married men on jury. They
are probably not so impatient to
get home.
People may not watch you as
you go up, but they're all looking
when you land.
AS father went to spank the
boy, the youngster said: Father
these are your pants-have you
no sentiment" THANK you, my
son, for the reminder. Take them
off,"
Nothing makes a man swell up
so much as when he passes a
crowd of children and just catches
the voice of his own youngster
saying There goes my father,
kids!"
Why do the papers talk of him,
And run his picture every day?
Perhaps he made breakfast food
Out of alfalfa hay.
Or maybe he has left his wife,
To earn her living selling soap,
A poet who has paid his bills,
Or some new white mans hope.
But it is pleasanter to think
He is a gem of purest gold,
Some kindly man who ne'er re-
peats
The thing his baby told.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

Abraham Lin.
coin with being
over cautious,
George B. Nc
Clellan issued
what he called
General Orders
No. 163, in
which he re-
ferred to eman-
cipation, depre-
Gated in the
army heated po-
litical discus
SiOnS and re-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

vi l $ S M drtn q
Berry is the
guest of honor.
The mountain
whites" around
about Postum
Trot, for whom
Miss Berry has
done so much,
and to whom
she is the "Sun-
day Lady," are
the celebrators.
Mis-, pnpr1y Ao.Y
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
Net Results and the Moral

Canada killed reciprocity while
OF the WOODEN schedule and the farmers
Here's the
sandpat tariff taxes high cost of living still higher
an ever-Widenng smile on the face of the
Moral: for Bot LaFo
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

Because many school children
cannot hear we'll and because this
deficiency makes them appear
stupid in their classes, Prof. Nc
Callie, a Trenton, N. j., school
principal, got busy to determine
their defects by inventing an ear
testing machine.
1t is a great success and by Its
means children who formerly APP
peared stupid are enabled to have
their ears treated and cured, so
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
1 NEW EXPERIENCE

A NEW EXPERIENCE
"And did enjoy trip
Eyes indeed What do think quals,
they
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

invention is that their ears are
tested without the little subject
suspecting it.
The machine consists of a metal
box, containing a tiny bell. Steth-
oscope tubes reach the child's ears
and a tiny hammer strikes the
bell at varying degrees of sound,
The test consists in learning at
what strength the tinkle of the
bell is audible. Pupils are tested
at the rate of one a minute.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
TODAY IN HISTORY

October 7, 1862, six days after
he had been taxed by President
he had been taxed by President
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
OUR DAILY BIRTH.
DAY PARTY.

There's a happy birthday party
down in Postum Trot, Ca, today;
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
FROM DIANA'S DIARY

As Camera Lady
Tangled Up In a Romance o Frivolous
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

Entered at tho postoffios at Tacoma. Wash. an
second-class matter. TBLEGRAPHIC SERVICE
OF UNITED PRESS ASSOCIATION
PUBLISHED EVERY EVENING EXCEPT SUM-
DAY by THE TACOMA TIMES PUBLISHING
COMPANY.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07
New Idea for Testing the Ears
of Backward School Children

that they may keep pace with
their fellow pupils.
Children often. through diff
dence or shame, would not admit
their defects. The merit of the
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

A New York judge prefers to
have married men on jury. They
are probably not so impatient to
get home.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

They're going to raise 'possums
for commerce on 100000 acres of
land over in Australia. Wonder
if 'possum an 'taters will taste as
good bought from the butchers as
when you used to take the dogs
and chase 'em.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

Some men commit suicide and
others just sleep in folding beds
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

Rockefeller likes to talk about
his business start; perhaps to
divert attention from his bust
ness finish, which is much more
serious for the public.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

People may not watch you as
you go up, but they're all looking
when you land.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

Which would you rather do
hear cough drop or gum boil?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-10-07

So Ballinger won't sue Pinchot
for libel, after all. In trying to
forget, and hoping the public will
do likewise, the one-time secre-
tary of the interior is showing a
lot of horse sense.