The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-06-16
the countersign, Abandon wealth, q
= - 49, -...l

the COu0tefu&0, ADe0Q00 wealth, N
70 who enter here
''Then the neutenant-waiter and his
army corps deployed BY columns Of
four and escorted u to the most ex-
pensive looking trough ever saw In
dining-room.
'Peaches,' said to my wife. I'm
doing this to please You, but after !
pay the check, it's me to hle petition
in bankruptcy
But she only grinned, picked up
the point-lace napkin and began to i'd
mire the onyx furniture.
"'Que souhaitez vous?' said the
waiter, bowling 90 low that could fesl
chin running through my little bank
account.
"T guess he means you,' whis-
pered to Peaches, but she looked very
solemnly at the menu card and began
to bite her lips.
'Je suis tout q votre service tho
waiter cross-countered before could
recover, and he had me gasping. It
never struck me that I had to take
course in French before entering the
st. Regis hunger foundry.
"'Say, Mike!' ventured after
bit; tip US of to quiet bunch of eat
ing that will At couple Of appetites
just out seeing the sights. Nothing
that will put a kink in years in
come, you know, Beau; just suggest
some little thing that looks better than
it tastes, but is not too expensive to
keep down.
"'Oui, QUIZ his Marseillaise came
back at me, 'un diner comfortable doit
Sc composer de potage, de volatile
bouillie GU rotie, claude GU froide, de
gibier, de plats rares ct distingues, de
poissons, de sucreries, de patisseries
ct de fruits!'
Il looked at my wife, she looked at
me, then we both looked out the win
dow and wished we had never been
born.
"'Say, Garsong,' l said, after we
came to, my wife is daughter Of the
American Revolution and she's 50 pa
triotic she eats only in United States,
so cut out the Moulin Rouge lyrics
and let's get down to cases. How
much will it set me back If order o
plain steak-just enough to dirt with
two very polite appetites?
"'Nine dollars and seventy cents
said Joan of Arcs brother Bill; the
seventy cents is for the steak and the
nine dollars will help some one pay
for the Looey the Fifteenth furniture
in the bridal chamber
"'Save the money, john whis-
. pered Peaches; and we'll buy a COW
with It,
GLOW about silver of roast beef
with some slapped potatoes said to
the waiter. is it bull market for
an order like that?'
"'Three dollars and forty-two
cents answered Henri of Navarro:
forty-two cents for the order and
three dollars to help pay for tho
French velvet curtains in the golden
suite on the second floor
Keep on guessing, John; you1l
wear him OUT Peaches whispered.
Possibly little cold lamb with .
suggestion of potato salad on the side
might satisfy u.s. said; make me an
estimate
"'Four. dollars and eighteen cents,
replied Patsey Boulanger; eighteen
cents for the lamb and salad and the
four dollars for the Looey the FIJI
teenth draperies in the drawing-room.
"The waiter bowed 30 low that his
shoulder blades cracked like whip.
bring u.s. said, q plain ONE
let and one dish Of prunes.'
+ :i:I waited till Peter Giroha trans
lated this into French and then I
added, And on the side, please. two
glasses of>water and three toothpicks.
Have the prunes fricasseed, wash tho
water on both corners, and bring the
toothpicks rare ri
. When We ate our modest little din:
ner the waiter presented check
which called for three dollars and thir-
, ty-three cents.
: "'The thirty:three cents 10 for what
you ordered Alexander J. Dumas ez-
planned, and the three dollars 10 for
: the French hangings in the parlor.'
"'Holy smoke!' I cried; that tel.
'43ow aLooey the Fifteenth has been do
ing a lot Of work around here hasn't
hep but the waiter was 20 busy watch
, ling the finish of the change he handed
!, me that he didn't crack q smile.
"Then got reckless and handed
him ffty-cent tip.
"The waiter looked ct the fifty cents
and turned pale.
"Then he looked at me and turned
.. paler.
"Tben he tried to- thank me. but no
. caught another fash Of that plebeian
fifty and it choked him.
Then he took long look at the
half-dollar and with low moan he
passed away. III,
"say! Bunch! the only time m
ever go in, the, st. Regis again will bs
just after : hearty dinner"
II guess you're right, John, but
what about this scheme to win out my
wedding . money!" Bunch queried.
I'm dreadfully nervous about It."
II know, Bunch, know just how
you feel. I'm quite a bit to the st. VI