The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-05-03
OUR DRUMMER BOYS.
A Good Story for Those
Thai Rave the Key.


that is going from the Grand Knights
of the Diamond G. down to the Sons
of Intenperance. I am fond of such
mysterious things myself, so I get
solid with the boys. My old friend,
Cy Clark, called on me the other day
to see if I needed any coal, and to
have a visit. We had a jolly time.
While we were sitting in the office a
chap came in and wanted to borrow
So, on account of q remittance not
coming to him as he expected. I told
him my 81 I kept to loan was in now,
being sent the day before by Johnnie
Mcintyre, but never lent 1t except
to Drummers. He said, "That's me-"
I gave him the grand hailing sign OF
an Odd Fellow. which he tumbled to.
Then I gave him the great ''hair in
the soot'' grip of a Pythonic. He
tu,nbled. Then Cy gave him the G.B.
of the Sons of Malta. He was onto it.
Then I gave him the Hair Joker signal
of Good Tiple.. He smiled and said,
"H. o." This is a chemical term,
meaning water" Then Cy stuck out
his hand and gave him the noted T D
@ sign of Royal Arch Brick Mason.
He "got thar'' on that. Then Cy ex-
amined him as follows, to make sure
he was Drummer:
"From whence comest thou, pard :"
"From the Lodge OF the Holy St.
Johns, Michigan"
"What seek ye here to do?'
ssTo seek few orders, and collect
bill from Billson."
"Then you are a Drummer?'
II am so taken and accepted by all
the boys.'
,'.How am to know you to be
Drummer %
"By my cheek and by my 5o-pound
sample case. Try me-"
Chow will you be tried:"
"By the squire?"
Because the squire is a magistrate
and an emblem of stupidity"
sWhere we're you first prepared to
become Drummer %
SIN my mind"
"Where>next q"
sIn a printing Office adjoining a
regular post of Drummers."
"How were you prepared?"
>"By being divested Of my last cent,
my cheek rubbed dawn with brick,
bunion plaster over each eye, and
heavy sample case in each hand. In
this fix was conducted to the door OF
the post"
"How did you know it was the door,
being blind %
''By first stepping into coal scuttle
and afterwards humping my head
against the door knob"
How gained you admlssion?"
''By the benefit of my cheek"
.Had you the required cheek"
ST had not, but Jack Higgins had it
for me-"
''On what were you received %
"On the sharpe toe Of . boot, ap'
piled to my natural trousers"
"What did that teach you -
"Not to fool around too much"
"What happened next %
II was put down on cake OF ice
and asked if put my trust IN mer-
camille reports %
"Your answer %
"Not if know myself, I DON'T"
"How we're you next handled ?"
81 was put astraddle of goat made
out of a 2x4, and trotted nine times
around the room by four worthy
brothers; and then brought before the
left bower for further instructions"
"How did he instruct you %
"To approach customer by three
upright regular steps, with my busl'
ness card extended at right angles, my
arms formed d square"
"How were you then disposed of?'
II was again seated on a chunk Of
ice i'll front OF a dry goods box, and
made to take the following horrible
and binding oath":
u, Cnas. S. Robbins, do hereby and
herein most ever!astingiy and diabolic-
ally swear, by the great bobt&il flush,
that | will never reveal and always
steal all the trade secrets can for the
use and benefit Of this most august
order. l further swear by the bald
headed jack of Clubs, that will never
give, carve, make, hold, take or cut
prices below the regular ra es. And
further swear by the piper that