davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-03-29
The Wave owe
X All Depends.

Miss Knox-1'here's Il scsndaions
storv about her in this mornings
Howlar.
Miss Goc-darr-gut you can't believe
anything you read III thar paper
Miss knox-l can Il | want to-
P!ckMe-Cp.
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
Foolish Little Thoughts
THE STAGE DOORKEEPER

'I see," said the stage struck youth,
that a ninety-fve year-old English
clown is bringing his twenty-ive-year-
old bride over to this country cause
the white faced Joke-smith says there
Is better chance for young man on
this side"
Yep. 1 saw that little paragraph"
said the stage doorkeeper. Funny
wasn't It. I haven't doped it out in
my own mind as to whether that para
graph was written by a press agent
with a brsinstorm or is the real goods.
May Be So At That
'But It may be so at that. I have
heard of queerer things. But that
ninety-fVe-year-old clause is what
forecloses on my credulity. When l get
to century less five mark I don't think
even though I were a clown, 1 would
have any of that nostalgia stuff for
more of sawdust and the tan bark
Strikes me that I would like to have
enough salad in cold storage to keep
the wolf from disturbing my slumbers
Me for that easy chair thing and
the slippers and plenty of shag to-
bacco. I've always had an idea that a
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
ACCORDING TO SAMMY

Sue, wich Is my sistir. got a moo hat
today, vich she has bin tawking about
for q weak, as II It was sumthing CRATE,
just getting q moo hat.
Holy headgeer, sed pop this moarn-
ing, I've had about 400 moo hats in my
time and diden't do that mutch tawk-
ing about awl of them put togethir. and
Sue sed, You nevir had hat like I'm
going to get. Its a dreem, pa, she sed,
and l want you to tell Sammy to go to
the millinlrs aftir It this aftirnoon be-
Klaus Madim Casey sed she had so meny
ordirs she coodent delivir it today.
Instructions
Do you heer that, Sammy. sed pop,
for hevens sakes get II and then may
be she wont haff to tawk 30 mutch
about it.
Yes, and II you were nevtr karefu
befoar in yure life, sed Sue, be kareful
this time. II enything happtned to
that hat I wood dye.
Get II yureself II yure so perttck'
Ter about 1t, 1 sed, but enyhow I went
to Madim Caseys and got the hat,
wich was In a CRATE big books big
enuff for a prism, much less hat.
AVN the way hoam who shood meat
but my cuzzin Benny.
Watts In the books, sed Benny, and I
sed. Sues moo hat. You mite think II
The Washington times., 1911-08-22

clown should be somewhere on the
sunny side of sc II he wanted to make
good, and unless this fellow has rub
ber bones 7 don't see how he is going
to get by. Can you imagine a refined
old English gentleman who was on
the job when G. Black Hawk was a
papoose, bounding carelessly into the
ring along with a troupe OF -four
faced entertainers announcing, Well,
here we are again'7
Il can't and I'm one Of the very
best little imaginers that ever i'm
agined.
Let Him Come, Though
Let him come, though, and for one
hope he'll make good, If not for
his sake, for the sake Of his bride.
If he blows through this town with
a circus, believe me, I'm going to
put on substitute and go look him
over"
"Sposin' he don't make good" said
the stage-struck youth
We'll, II he don't" said the stage
doorkeeper, he can make a good
living writing stories for the maya
zines telling how he started life at
ninety-tive. They are falling for that
stuff"
The Washington times., 1911-08-22

was gold, sed. the way shes bin tawk-
ing about 1t, and Benny sed. Lets opin
the books and see wat 1t looks like,
and I sed. No sir E, Id get the dooss
II enything happined to this hat.
G, but yure afrayed OF yure sisttr.
sed Benny. I boss my sistir awl oyir
the house, he sed.
Do you think I'm afrayed to opin the
books, sed. Yure nutty. And opined
the books, and thare was Sues moo hat,
awI wife and red and fethirs and awl.
III put II avn, sed Benny, and lets
pretend I'm yure wife. G, its as big
as a house. he sed. Wich It was.
Puts 1t AVN
So Benny put the hat avn, and Il
calm awl the way down to his noZe,
and If it hadent OF bin for his pants
and awl you wood Of thawt he vas
q gerl. Now I am yure wife, he sed.
and we wawked up the streat, and
Test when we got to our house Sue
looked out the windo and gave sutoh
a skreetch the hat tum billed awf
Benny's he'd and Benny ran like the
dickins, and Sue calm running out OF
the house and grabbed up the hat and
kissed II, witch scanned krazy. and
am now watetng for pop to KUN
hoam.
The hat dident get durty. mutch-
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
Greek Met Greek;
Or, Cheap at That

1t was September, yet the girl. as
she walked, held her head high.
She paused as the aged beggar
woman put forth an entreatins
brown claw.
Just enough for a bit Of bread,
kind lady Ny husband lies Ill o
the sout, and my fourteen children
left me soon after they died. For
sweet char.ty's sake, kind lady"
The girl gazed at her steadily for
some moments, and then said, kindly:
"I think more people would help
you, you poor thing, II your appear
ance were only a little more pre-
sentsble. Now I represent the Health
and Beauty Hints Publishing Com
many. For IS cents you may have
The Washington times., 1911-08-22

the bookmakers were going to be
among those present at the park
races yesterday.
So I asked the beautiful cashier II
she felt any curiosity. and she said
she felt lots, and tickled me all over
by consenting to go out with me
and see the last races after closing
time. Sure enough, the bookiss were
on the Job.
oh" pipes Juliet, they're betting.
1 never bet on a race before"
Don't you think II looks like
rain?" I tells her, but no, the beauti-
full cashier didn't, and she wanted
to bet. So 1 had to show her how,
and of course she bet about SO, and
of course she lost, and Of course I
couldn't let her pay for II, and oh.
heck,
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
SHE HOLDS IT UP TO TIE
Girl With the Holes in Her Hose

hands for a whipping? AS you have
punished me pretty severely. please
let me Of this time, and apply your
ferule where I suggest so ins tead of
my previous signature, I sign my
self
THE GIRL WHO HAS BEEN FER
RULED ENOUGH"
No dog that chased an intruding cat
up tree ever undertook the job with
more real enthusiasm than l accede to
this girls request. These abominabl
excuses for stockings i'll ne with the
same indignant protest that I feel
when I see a girl roboing herself Of
one. of her most genuine attractions,
modesty, and wearing a porous waist
that IS simply libel on O class Of en-.
tirely useful and modest garments.
Called 1t "A Game"
I once visited In a very rigidly
religious place, where dancing was
looked upon by the older people as a
presence. And the young folks actually
danced the two-step right under the
religious noses. But they called It "a
game" You girls can call these airy
nothings with which you clothe your
limbs, stockings. but I do not happen
to be in the backwoods class. You
cannot cover from me or from hun
dreds Of other intelligent people the
fact that what you seek 10 the revela-
ton Of charms. Personally, I HATE
that queer whitey-black look that thin
stockings give-which you think ap-
peals to the eye OF man.
Listen to me! The admiration which
you attract by q vulgar exposure of
your physical beauties IL NOT the kind
thst wins husbands. Lovers? Yes,
perhaps. But decent men like
MODEST WOMEN. And q decent man
Is the only kind worth while as .
HUSBAND.
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
Loretta's Looking Glass

THE holes in your stockings are not
the kind that need darnIng. at
least, not with a needle! And you
would not fill them up for anything! II
Is funny to watch you at the stocking
counter of a department store. Very
carefully, you thrust your hand into the
covering that has nothing OF the fine
art which so artfully conceals," but
possesses all OF the revelatory power
intimated In the rest of the quotation
yet all things DISCLOSES." If the
mesh Is close. you toss the stocking
contemptuously back on the counter and
look daggers at the clerk for her in
direct assistance to your withering
modesty. You want the tissue effect
or the laciest Of open work.
So Terribly Fussy
Here Is a letter from the girl who
wrote the fussy letter about her hatred
Of dirty finger nails. BY the way, she
took the reproof like a major! You re-
member that I told her she needn't
be so terribly fussy as to make the con-
dtion of finger nails the standard by
which she Judged people. 1 intimated
that she might have holes in her
stockings and that might get on the
nerves of others as much as finger nails
bothered her.
My Dear Fricnd Loretta: When I
wrote you. asking you to ferule the
girls who had dirty nails, I didn't
expect to receive the whipping my
self. But you gave 1T to me. You
said I was fussy. So I took 1t with
out finching till came to the in
timation about the holes In my stock
ings. NEVER WORE A STOCKING
WITH A HOLE IN 1T IN MY LIFE.
But lots of girls do. And there are
LOTS OF HOLES. And all plainly
visiblel Actually placed there TO
and openwork stockings are almost
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
Watched

mo, Herbert" whispered the maid,
YOU mustn't put your arm around me.
We are watched"
Herbert looked around the dimly light
ed parlor.
oh, yes" he smiled. 'T see there's a
rubber plant at the other end OF the
room"
'Sh! There's another one that YOU
don't see. Johnny's hiding there
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
NOT Necessary

A minister. In an address to other
,,,r,.t.r, once said that he thought
ministers ought to be humble and poor,
tira their Master IT have often
nrayed." he said, that I might be
kent humble; never prayed that I
might be poor-I could trust my church
for that"
The Washington times., 1911-08-22

as immodest as going barefooted. And
the girls always wear short skirts
and low shoes, SO that their legs are
revealed to view. OF course, no self
respecting girl would think of expos
ing her bare legs in the presence Of
the opposite sex. But these perforated
stockings are practically equivalent to
the same thing. And often bare
foot" sandals aggravate the impro-
priety. Now, Loretta, won't you
please make these girls hold out their
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
Between Meals
Munich on These
A HAPPY MAN

Pa, who's that man that looks so
blue2''
That's the coalman, SON"
And who's the fellow who looks SO
darned happy"
You ought to know him-that's the
iceman."
Amt there nobody that's happy all
the year round?'
Heavens! Haven't you met the gas
man yet?''
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
According to Bric-a-Brac

According to Bric-a-Brac
Ibid you say that the japanese werHl
short Of money!" said young Mrs. Tor
kins.
That Is supposed to be the case"
We'll, I don't see how II can be, con-
sidering the prices they charge for their
bric-a-brac.~
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
Shifting the Blame

An Indiana assessor had trouble
getting people to list dogs for taxes.
Got a dawg?" he asked.
No. was the answer
Well, I'll 'sess you one anyway
not my fault IL you hain't got any
plenty OF dawgs."
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
Sweet Nineteen

Mrs. Desmythe-Yes, my dear, 1 In.
tend my daughters to be engaged wher
they are Is.
Mrs. Lajones-But suppose they are
not?
until they are.
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
Wired Direct
From Humor Land
ANOTHER ONE

Laborer-And hav they tall buildings
in America, Pat?
Pat-Tall buildings hav' they? Faith,
Mike, the last one 1 worked on we had
to lay on our stomachs to let the moon
pass.
The Washington times., 1911-08-22

ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY
Mistress-well, Cooper, what is the
weather to be ike?
Gardener-Well, mum, dunno; but
the paper do say forecast. Punch.
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
Falling Into II

.cl into some valuable property
yesterday" said the aviator.
-Dtd YOU. indssdH'
- IS: I went through the skylight
OF a million dollar Office building"
The Washington times., 1911-08-22

Madame Hokey's famous beauty nook'
judicial perusal of 1t. poor creaturs' rn
ought to increase your income W
per cent" ,.s -,
And the beggar woman ponieo n.y.
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
Our Grocery Clerk
Says a Sky Limit

Never ask a girl to go where
money is being bet on horses. I
know that's great advice now, but I
didn't when heard on the side that
The Washington times., 1911-08-22

EAR FAR AWAY MAN-O- O-DREAMS 81 loved
! . ! / ! / / ]
| ~ letter that today. | like think n the
land that lies beyond the borderland of sleep
j close together surely if love and tele
"a - pathy have any basis ought for waking
| " 1ESk dreaming s heart and
IL Y&S lips, and so let uhope dear, the dream Of
IGt13 5\5S4 will often and that dreams in
IS~&AN which may find will come often 90 be-
| \ is hard SO ar away when |
" long so for the safe shelter of your and ! am
~ already beginning to count the days to the time
when life and love and you shall become a circle to
hold forever.
the IIarisons last nghthow odd how love changes
ones point of isn't it? For few weeks could have
thought nothing Margery and
But last night felt had stepped the house with
The New Kitchen Cupboard
knew that and would be just proud they of the
kitchen cupboard they have had built felt Magerys pride
always good
things for and brcakage also good hint from
has bought bordered chiffon overde and will lovely
this winter for few dollars and I'm do the thing and
dad to let have the would have for
dress something for household Margery
buy napkins and she will help hem and
think will will be heavenly be actually making something
for Jul house"
Oh Jack be when the
and actually are living in it?
Really Big Sacrifice
I'm glad taking pleasure little economies although
the for really big
gracious bank
which has ST mother paid the
stockings her and had another left from allow
$3.50 toward the like
it? But don't like skimp lunch
Don't dare Mother food like the coal engne
mustn't skimped engine
of other of economzing
Foolish Little Thoughts
This like colding, only isn't; it's just
of had
little have rather than last good
space carry close spirit because love
than the world H.
The Washington times., 1911-08-22


EN- Belle they had, much desire unload
have changed, when
breehes all the oh and dues things fashion
And Belle the ony sentimental ns expressed
without somebody by sngin popular Which
is why all the popular sentimental
The Fellows That Write Them Are Wise
There about three dozen young fellows Belle maxim
hand fist Just because they've enough rhyme
dove" love make much whether
there's versthe Centrally don't
thing do with the anyhowbut the chorus full
boiled the things about much
comm popular girl with squny and talent for payn
classical music
Though good fellows feel like wouldn't be policy for
they've
nfomn them all that they ask that
had thousan lives live they'd live EN- all for them But
they Belle with without eoaxin'
single breach promise suit out the bushes And does em
world good Belief you don't bleve take their
pessons sometime when they're halfway between dove and love
The Washington times., 1911-08-22
MA M1E TELLS BELLE
That SENTIMENT Laid On
Thick, Is the Secret
OF POPULAR SONGS

4, La LA, oh, it's nice to be nice to a nice-you
can't deny Belle, that this world would be incom-
plete without popular songs. They're just as i'm
portant in the scheme O things salt and standn'
armies and shoe horns and babies
It's one o the penalties of civilization, Belle
that people don't release their real feelin's in
ordinary conversation the way they did before the
days of electric doorbells and tariffs. In those
days, If fellow met pretty girl without spoutn'
he wasn't considered gentleman. If he tried any
thing like that now he'd be considered a lunatie.
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27

When you have nothing else
to do kick the Police Jury. You
can always find something to
howl about and as this seems to
be- a good natured body go for
'em - This body has it's imper.
fections and it's shortcomings
1t makes mistakes in some things
that it does and it makes mis-
takes in some things that it fails
to do, but we are sure that they
need more sympathy and CO.
operation from the people than it
gets. We have gotten in the
habit, in the last eight or ten
yeacs, of finding fault with this
body and we are still at it. II
we will give it credit for acting
| honestly and for what it believes
to be for the best of the people
lit will 20 a long way toward
ameliorating what in our minds
liz it's shortcomings.
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27

The fates, or rather the
managers, Of my esteemed
friend, Judge L. E. Halls fate,
seem to be determined on loading
him down, making his race a
handicap, as it were. Edgar
Farrar, a chief adviser, is acting
in a like capacity for Lorimer at
Washington, and now comes
Puio's undemocratic lumber rec.
ord in Congress. Hines, you
know, put Lorimer over" in the
interest of the Lumber Trust,
and there you are. The Judges
following seems to be a blend Of
corporation lawyers, lumber
Congressman, place hunters
ha!f.ht,arted friends, weak kneeo
newspapers and treacherous
companions. A sad situation
for a good man to be caught in
Who advised it, anyway?-Cos
groves Weekly.
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27

The Democrats are making a
most creditable record in the
present special session of Con-
gress. Oscar Underwood Of
Birmingham. Ala, the Chairman
of the Ways and Means Com
mittee, of the Honse of Repre-.
sentatives, which Committee as
is we'll known prepares all tariff
measures, is showing himself to
be a statesman of great ability in
shaping tariff Legislation along
Democratic lines. Mr., Under
wood is an earnest tariff reformer
but does not believe in going so
far as to seriously disturb the
business interest of the country.
by too radical a change.
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27
26th. Judicial District Court, State of
Louisiana, Parish of Washington.
Hsttisburg Trust 6 Banking Co.
VS.. 1896
A. Fortinberry

Notice is hereby given that by vir-
tue of an order of Fieri Facias is.
sued out Of the above named court in
the matter of Hattisburg Trust g.
Banking CmDany VS.. No. 1896 A. .
Fotinberry, dated July q, 1911, and to
me directed for execution, l have
seized and will offer for sale and
sell to the last and highest bidder at
the principal front door of the court
house on
Saturday, August IL, 1911
between the legal sale hours for judi.
cial sales the following described
property to wit: :.
One boiler, one engine, cav mill and
carriage and I'LL fixtures in said mill.
Term of sale: Cash with benefit of
appraisement. This 9th day of July
1911.
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27
Sheriff Sales.
26th Judicial District Court Of La.
Parish of Washington.
Outlet Gin Co.
VS.. No. 1868
W. E. banister 6 s. w. Wilks, ST..

Notice is hereby given that by virtue
Of a writ of Fieri Facias, issued
out OF the above named court In the
matter of Outlet Gin Company
Versus Number 1853, W. E. Banister.
and =. Wilks, Sr. dated July 18th,
1911. and to me directed for execution,
I have seized and will offer for ssle
and sell to the last AID highest bidder
ct the principal front door Of tho
court house on
Saturday, September z, 1911
between legal sale hours for Judicial
Sales the following described proper
ty to wit:
The Judgement rendered in the case
of Samuel W. wllks, ST.. VS.. W. E.
Banister, No. 1888 on the 3lst day Of
March 1911, and recorded April 3 1911
in Mortgage book 8, page 600, together
with interest and cost.
Term Of gle: Cash with benefit Of
appraisement. This 9th day Of July
1911. JOE N. MAGEE,
Sheriff
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27
HOW He OBTAINS PIN MONEY
Farmers Husband Tells His Methods
Of Persuading the Hens to Lay
More Eggs.

Like most farmers husbands l am
compelled to rely on the chicken and
egg money to dress myself. as ny
wife puts all the cash into labor.saving
machinery for every place but the
kitchen. This was borne In on me
early in my married life, so carefully
studied means of increasing the lay
Of my barnyard friends.
In the winter time l always wear a
pretty lace shirt and carry a palm
leaf fan when l feed the hens. Tbs
apparel I have found completely de.
ceives them into thinking 1t Is sum-
c,sr. and they lay accordingly.
In the summer 1t takes but mo-
ment for me to slip into my nearplush
ulster and wind bright red tippet
around my neck while scattering their
corn. This is important, for 1t makes
them think it Is winter. and hence
summer, and insures plentiful sup
ply of eggs.
have observed they do not seem
to care whether these clothes are the
latest style or not. so generally veal
my third best. In addition to these
simple little devices I always sing tt
them. "There'll be hot time in thu
old town tonight" at all seasons o.
the year.
BY faithfully following this plan To-
the last seventeen years I have man
aged to save enough money to buy .
perfectly stunning pair Of lilac haren
trousers.-McLandburgh Wilson Il
New York Times.
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27
Can It "Come Back?"
BY ]. NJ. S.

Well, OIL pal, what's yo' worry?
Little Of railroad losing vim.
Little o. town o. tiutter. an furry,
Once a day when the mail
comes in.
Little OIL town, way back yonder,
Dreaming the golden dreams
of youth;
Little OF railroad coming, l
wonder?
To make those golden dreams
a truth.
Little Of railroad, why so con:
trary?i
So 1t would seem, indeed a TACT:
Little ol'' town gone back :; t!
dreaming3
| kOf ! YOUR; chances: to- eve!
Comeback"
| :=aal1D
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27

LOST OR MISLAID: One
note, dated May, 1911, due July
1st, 1911, for $24.40, made paya-
bic to T. A. Fisher by T. ]. Sim.
mons. All parties are warned
against trading for said note.
T. A. FISHER,
Franklint0n, La.
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27
Use Of Altar o. Roses,

More than $50, 1000 worth of altar o!
roses Is brought INTO this country
every year. The best is from roses
grown near Constantinopie Not only
does this bring higher price than
the product OF the Bulgarian rose
fields. but It's superiority is recog
nized by separate classification In
the trade Where does the $4,000
worth Of this oily perfume go? Some
Of It as ''bese" fer ether perfumes.
and some Of !, where few suspect
10 he manufacturers Of smoking and
chewing tobacco
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27

STRAYED-From my place at
PinecIiff, one brown mare, with
both hind feet white, about five
years old. Liberal reward for
her return or any information
leading to her recovery.
JAS. W. RUSSELL,
Pinec lii. La
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27
Plumb Line into Porto Rico.

Plumb Line into Porto Rico.
There are places where the dire
ton Of a plumb line is not vertical.
Irregularities Of density in the crust
Of the globe may produce this pie
nomenon. A remarkable instance In
point was found in the island Of Porto
Rico, where the deviation from the
vertical Is so great that in marrins
the island the northern and south n
coast lines. as shown In the o','
maps, had each to be moved inward
half q mile.-Scientific American
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27
The Man and III. cook.

A fool reads -a-t,ok aud under
stands pc:.hing in It. willing reads
Il, he fancies he Is perfectly master
Of It all without exception. A man oil
discernment sometimes does not com
prehend 1t entirely. he distinguishes
what Is clear from what Is obscure
whilst the beaux esprits will have
those passages dark which are not
and affect not to understand what II
really intelligib!e.-La Bruyere.
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27

Hog and holniny" is a homely
phrase that means volumes in it's
application to farming. It means
peace, plenty and prosperity in
the countless homes of On agri.
cultural people.
The Era-leader. [volume] (Franklinton, La.) 1910-current, 1911-07-27
For Assessor:

The Fri. Leader is authorized to
Announce
G. w. MAGEE,
" /. rrva
I So candidate for Assessor OF WASH
Sln1ton Parish, subject to the action OF
the Democratic primaries.