The Washington times., 1911-03-27
SWEET WOMAN NOT
ALWAYS THE BEST
She Sometimes Talks Too
Much and Wears on
4. Mans Nerves.

Young Smiley certainly was In luck
when he induced Gertrude Wagsmith TO
marry him." remarked the assessor. Il
have known that girl ever since she
was no higher than her own shoes, and
she has all the good qualities you'll
find in the books. She has the sweetest
temper I ever knew
"A woman may have a sweet temper
and still be gold brick" said the VII
lage patriarch. sadly. You never can
tell how a woman's going to turn out
until you have lived in the same house
with her a few years. I agree with
you that Gertrude Wagsmith Is an ad-
mirable young woman, and she mas
good qualities to throw at the olros,
hut ! have haunting belief that She
talks too much. Every time ! see her
she is talking, and when have called
at her fathers house always nouceu
that she put a shawl strap around the
conversation and took possession OF H.
No Greater Affliction.
"I can't imagine a greater affliction
than a wife who talks too much.
have had wives Of all the standard va
FfetIes: they had their weaknesses and
they had their redeeming qualities:
some were beautiful and some would
stop a clock by looking at It, and only
one of them succeeded in breaking my
heart. She was a sweet, gushing
thing, who hadn't a mean streak in her
makeup. She simply talked all the
time, waking and sleeping, and never
said anything that normal human be-
Ing would care to listen to.
Il used to go home in the evening
tired and worn after a day of strenu
GUS toll in my hay bazaar, and this mis-
guided woman would take seat by me
. M 70 - F611 al hon ri hot
she attended when she was a girl, and
about the beautiful young sewing ma
chine agent who proposed marriage TO
her, and then went and drowned him
Eelf in her fathers well because she
turned him down.
Il couldn't get her to talk about
things l was interested in, and she
wouldn't listen to my helpful, instruC-
tive remarks touching the unprecedent-
ed rise in the price of bran, or the mys-
ferrous shortage of oil cake meal. l am
slow. deliberate talker, and always
weigh my words as carefully as I weigh
my bales of hay, and this gave her
plenty of opportunity to interrupt me-
Love Stories Tiring.
while I'd be going around in my
mental works for just the right word to
make my meaning clear. she'd start a
long story. treating of the young noble
man who worked in Jimuelson's barber
shop and who used 10 come to her win
dow with a guitar and sing the most
enhancing songs until her father con-
cealed himself in the shrubbery and
winged the troubadour with a charge
of buckshot. All her stories, all her
"reminiscences, had reference to true
love. don't argue that true love is an
undesira BILE thing, but it's like canned
shIimpS-it'S easy 10 get too much of II,
and especially when it's secondhand.
Like most talkative women, this wife
of mine had a pleasant temper. and it
seemed a sin TO rebuke her, but had to
do it in the end, in self-defenSe. Things
had come to such a pass that I couldnt t
read my daily paper or smoke in COM
fort. l lust had to be listening TO love
stories all the time, and so finally I
reared up in awful majesty and told her
that she would have 10 give her tongue
a vacation or l would set fire to the
house. She knew that | was SLOW TO
anger, hut mighty in wrath, and she did
her best to reform, but every once IN
" hile she would forget herself and start
10 tell about the gifted young grocer'S
clerk who took her to spelling bee and
begged her TO elOHe with him, and then
blew the top of his head off in the belief
that he had brains in that vicinity.
Finally Got a Divorce.
AT such times I'd hold up a warning
hend. and she would SubSlQe7 out the
strain upon her was too great, and she
withered like a flower that is waiting
for the rain. as the poet says. and final
ly she got a divorce, and then married
q music teacher who used oil on his
hair. year later he was so crazy that
he tried to blow the safe in the police
station. ana there's no doubt that his
wife talked his faculties out Of plumb.
A man can have some peace with a
cranky wife, or a gadding wife. or al
most any kind of wife, if he Is diplo-
matte, mingling firmness with kindness,
chance at all. If he is firm and aggres-
sive he wounds her feelings and she
pines away: If he is kind and lenient
She talks both his arms off and his rea-
son is eventually overthrown. So when
I think of Young Smiley l view with
alarm ,l-CHhicagn NeWG