davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1911-08-10
FABLES OF TODAY
Fresh Bits Of Humor Presented
in Aesop Style.
BY M. QUAD.


Press
RS. BSWSER had seen for
two or three days that Mr..
Bowser was worrying about
something, but she asked no
questions 1t was at breakfast the
other morning that he seemed TO come
TO a sudden resolve and asked:
will you tell me the truth about
something if l ask you?'
why, certainly" she replied.
Am I considered a crank in this
neighborhood? / want the truth, now."
We'll. yes. Some call you crank
and some kicker
Then I'm not what you might call a
favorite?"
81 don't think you've tried to be that
You are very blunt and brusque in
your ways. You have chased our min
lister from the door: you have thrown
agents over the fence; you have run
peddlers down the street for a mile
Yes. / know"
you have kicked to the grocer,
butcher and baker until their delivery
boys daren't come with stuff when you
are home.
rs it as bad as that?"
And then you are always expert
menting with the gas. some patent
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1911-08-10

hours.
He kept a standing order at Tue
hotel bar for IS bottles of ale anu
three quarts of whisky
Once every month he had quarte'
of negroes come to his apartment ""'
sing to him.
/ He employed two Wallets each Worh
ing a 12-hour shift; negro "ai'e'
bu;,ar and a maid each for MS "li'
and his mother-in-law, VINO ii'e'
an adjoining apartment
|
55years old.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1911-08-10
TOO MUCH LIKE WORK.

The boss's son is kicking.
Why"
Saws he's overworked. All he
used to do was tear the pages OH tne
office calendars once month. NOW
he has to wind the eight-day clock,
too"
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1911-08-10

Mr.. F. E. Knapp left for Seattle,
last Thursday evening to attend the
Undertakers' convention. The con-
vention was held on a boat, which
took them to Bellingham, Vancou-
yer, and other places on the Sound.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14
The New Rug Work

We have rarely had a demon
stration more interesting than
that of the Walter needles. The
rug needles and rug making seem
to be Of particular interest-It's
worth coming to see If only TO
learn the uses to which you can
put your old clothes. Then the
embroidery work with yarns opens
a big field for pretty home deco
ration
The operation is simplicity IL
self Stop a minute at the notion
department-cross a.sle-YouIl be
pleased.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14
RIVER RIPLETS

The new excursion steamer Sidney
of the Streckfus Steam boat line viii
reach the local port for the first time
next Sunday TO fill two sx-
cursion dates. The boat will arrive
here at noon and in the afternoon
will take an excursion to Muscat.ne
leaving Rock Island at o'clock and
returning at 1890. The new steamer
succeeds the old ]. S. which was popu-
larly known from one end of the river
to the other People in the south who
have seen the boat say that 1t far ex-
ceeds the ]. S. for room and accom-
modations as well as in equipment and
beauty. II has a dance floor of 1900
square feet, the largest of any ex-
cursion steamer on the river 1t has n
capacity OF 1000 passengers and ac-
commodations and seats for all. The
crew is headed by Captain John Dip
pie and is as follows: Pilots, John II.
Laycock and George Nichols, Andy
Klombstefn; second mate, George
Harrington, chief engineer, Fred Mey-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14

ers, second engineer. John Pemberton,
chief clerk, Miss Anna Sreckfus, sec-
ond clerk, Miss May Streckfus, police
man, Jack Page. steward Chef Lee
Bland. Roy StTeckfus. the treasurer
OF the line is also on the Sidney and
acting in the capacity of business
manager for the boat as well as pur-
chasing agent. The Sidney opened the
season at Cairo May Is and worke 1
down the river TO Nashville, Tenn /,
for a 10-dsys' cruise. The crowds far
surpassed all records established By
the ]. s. Next Monday evening the
Street Car Mems union of Davenport
has chartered the new steamer Sidney
for a moonlight excursion leaving
Rock Island at s:15
The W. W. carried 500 last night ca
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14
ANNOUNCE GUILD PROGRAM

Entertainment to Be Given Tomor-
row Evening.
The following program will be given
by St Elizabeth's guild Of Trinity
Episcopal church at the home Of Mrs
morrow evening:
Piano, "Grand Galop de Concert"
e. kettersar
Edith Beck.
Vocal, "C1ang Of Forge. Paul Rodney
Mr.. Lindstrom.
Reading
az When the Old Man Smokes"
b. THE Singing Lesson"
Alice Ringgold.
Piano duet, THE Banner Of Victory
March" ....... Franz Won Blonl
Edith Beck and Lila Hudson.
Vocal, Roll On Thou Deep and
Dark Blue Ocean" ........ .Petrie
Edward Caulpetzer.
Reading, Mike Of the Neighbor-
hood" Agnes Daulton
Mary johnson Krul.
Trio, distant Chimes" .....S. Glover
Maud Young, Jennie Crownholm
Mile Beck.
Reading, "Abbie's Accounts.
Alice Ringgold.
Vocal, Roses in June. '.........
Edward German
Mile Beck.
Refreshments will be served follow
ing the program and the proceeds
will be used for furnishing the kit
chen of the new parish house.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14
CHILD FALLS AND
ALiGHTS ON HEAD
Two-Year-Old Orion Lad Tumbles
From Second Story Window and
Has Miraculous Escape.
Especial to The Argus.)

Orion, Ill, June 14.-Clemens Swan
son, 2-year-old son Of Mr.. and Mrs
Nathaniel Swanson, fell from second
story window at his home at O'Clock
yesterday afternoon, alighting on top
of his head on a cement walk, and is
alive and will probably recover. The
child apparently escaped without any
broken bones and about the only evi
dence it carries of the accident is a
big bump on the top Of its head.
An hour later In the afternoon, A. G..
Larson, aged rs. was thrown from
rig in a runaway accident caused by
the horse he was driving being fright
ened by an automobile. He fell on
the sidewalk and sustained a badly
bruised hip.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14
TWO OF SCHOOLS
To BE IMPROVED
Changes at Eugene Field and
Irving Buildings Will
Cost 5000.
HEATING AND VENTILATION
Total Enrolment for City During
Year 3,S41-Report Of the
superintendent

According to plans which were set
sion of the board of education, import
ant changes will be made In the heat
ing and ventilation systems of the
Eugene Field and Irving school build
ings, the improvement to be made at
an approximate cost of $4,000. Re
pairs on the other school buildings
will be Of minor importance and the
work will all be concluded before the
opening of school in September. ar
chitect o. 2. Cervin was present at
the meeting and submitted plans for
the reconstruction of the heating ard
ventilating system and he toilet
rooms in the basement of the Eugene
Field school and for the rearranging
of the rooms in the basement Of Ir-
wing school. The plans were gone
over carefully by the board and were
approved and Mr.. Cervin was directed
to receive bids on the work as socE
as possible.
CHANGES URGENT.
For years the Eugene Field build
ing has been sadly in need Of several
changes, especially in the heating and
ventilation system, and the action of the
board will be heartily approved. For
one thing, there have been five fur
naces and two hard coal burners ;r
the heating apparatus of the school.
Four of the furnaces are located in the
extreme corners and the fifth in the
middle of the basement. The stoves
are in the toilet rooms, which are IL
Gated In the northwest portions of the
basement. The Inconvenience of car
ing for these furnaces has been eA-
cessive and has entailed considerable
work which will be eliminated by the
installation of a modern steam heat
ing plant such as the board proposes
10 install. Because of the location of
the toilet rooms and the furnace in
the middle of the basement the verti-
lation has been poor. The change viii.
bring about more sanitary conditions
and will bring about provision for tie
health and well being of the pupils
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14

Steamer Morning Star to
st. Paul-Every Saturday at
3:15 p. m. Phone West 1873.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14
HERE'S PROOF

Grocers say that as soon as a
housewife buys one can of whiz he
can sell her nothing else.
Until Whiz came there never was
q securing preparation that would
not make the hands rough and sore.
Not 50 now. Try 1t. Just apply a
little Whfz, water, rub, rinse and OF
comes the dirt.
Each can OF Whiz contains a cou-
pom which will enable you to secure
Rogers genuine silverware OF a beau
tiful design.
For sale by all grocers and drug
gists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14
the excursion given by the st. Pious
branch Of the Western Catholic uE;
ion of Davenport. The boat left today
for the south on a 10days' trip.
COURT HOUSE RECORD
Real Estate Transfers.

Charles E. White to Willo White,
lots and 9, block 2. Whites addition,
Moline, $500.
". L. Velie to Charles o. Sundeen,
lot 131, Emma D. Velie's addition, Mo
line, $3.50.
George Soherer to David A. Bleuer,
lot 4, block 1, Charles Buford's first
addition, Rock Island, 81.
E. E. Rogers to Alfred Kemmis, part
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14

outlot 16. 25-19-1e; lots 4, 5 and 6, block
3; lots 9, 10, II, IL and 10, block 2, Am
brose's addition, Port Byron, $500.
Louis Haener TO Lorenzo d. Santee,
part lot 7, block 2, Osborne's addition,
Moline, s4,100.
Janette McMaster to Ellen l. Fir
man, part lot 8, block 2, McMaster's
addition, Rock Island, 1862.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14

bear the expense. Another commit
tee report favorable TO the establish
ment Of employment bureaus In
cities having 5000 members receiv-
ed like treatment, but later was re.
considered and made a special order
of business for Wednesday morning.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14
Reject CHARITY PLANS

Illinois Foresters Vote Against Free
Hospital Treatment.
Rockford, ILL.,, June 1.-THE ILL.,
nois Catholic Order of Foresters, as
sembled here in biennial session, yes
terday voted down the report of the
hospital committee favoring free
treatment for members unable TO
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14

PHYLLIS LEE.

Beside a primrose 'broider'd rill
Sat Phyllis Lee in silken dress
Whilst Lucius limn'd with loving skill
Her likeness. as a shepherdess.
Yet tho he strove with loving skill
His brush refused to work his will.
Dear maid, unless you close your eyes
l cannot paint today he said;
Their brightness shames the very skies
And turns their turquoise into
lead"
Quoth Phyllis, then, "To save the skies
And speed your brush, I'll shut ms
eyes,
Now when her eyes were closed, the
dear,
Not dreaming of such treachery,
Felt a soft whisper in her ear,
Without the light, how can one
see?"
'If you are sure that none can see
I'll keep them shut" said Phyllis Lee.
Oliver HEREFORD in the Century.
Buy a home of Reidy Bros.
Kerler Rug company, cleaners.
Tri-City Towel Supply company.
For express. call Spencer e. Trefz.
Let William johnson do your tin and
furnace work; 1916 Third avenue.
H. T. Siemon wants your tin and
furnace work; 1526-152S Fourth ave-
nue.
Loans on real estate security. AL
bert Huber, Peoples National bank
building.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-14
Did You Ever Know a WO-
man TO Have Too Many
Hose Supporters?

Never quite enough-AIways
having to buy.
Well here they are, absolutely
free all the balance of this week.
Don't pay a cent-all you want,
Free.
With every corset sold for the
Eext three days above $3.50 we
give you three pairs fine hose sup
porters absolutely free. With each
corset at $1.00 to $3.50 we hand
you two pairs of hose supporters
with our compliments, with every
corset sold below dollar, one
pair of extra garters-no charge.
Remember fer three days ali
these extra garters are given to
every buyer of any style corset
at this store-Hose Supporters
Free.
If you knew where you could
pick up Csc silver coins and they
would be yours for the picking.
how fast would you go? You can
pick up these hose supporters and
they are yours for the picking
How fast will you come?
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-11-10
NEW KIND OF CHAIR
PREVENTS sEAslCKNESs

LONDON, Oct. Seasickness is
doomed to become a thing of the past
as soon as the patent chair invented
by Mr.. Gay of Camberwell enters into
universal use. This chair is not sup
ported by legs, like mere ordinary
chairs, Instead, what appears to be
a species of pivotal attachment Is
fixed to the under side of the chair.
By this ingenious device both chair
and occupant preserve their horizon
tai position, however much the ship
may pitch and roll
The possibility of seasickness is
thus entirely obviated, and the user
of the patent chair is enabled to sit
in perfect comfort while his less for
tunate fellow-passengers are suffer
ing all around him
The strong iron uprights are fitted
into slots on either side of the chair,
and the passengers by holding these
preserves a level balance. A capstan
arrangement of the deck would con
troll several chairs at once and obvi-
ate the necessity of the uprights.
"The idea of the chair" said Mr.
Gay, FLASHED across my mind one day
when crossing from Holland in a tur'
bine steamer and knocking about
most horribly. | am a poor sailor
myself / made the chair you see
in my bedroom, and l have tested it
going round Lands End on voyage
from London to Belfast, when il
acted perfectly. One woman, having
once sat in it, was very reluctant tc
get out again. | am hoping that my
chair may be on the market in time
to be used by the queen during hel
voyage to India.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-11-10
Prof. Perret'S
Volcano Spiel

Tonight at the Y. NJ. c. A. Prof.
f. A. Perret will deliver a fascinat-
ing lecture on volcanoes and their
wonders. The lecture will be illus
trated by slides, and the marvellous
coloring and fire effects of the worlds
great volcanoes compared with those
of our own Kilapea Those who have
seen the splendid slides of Vesuvius
and Kilauea Burton Holmes showed
in the states will recall the universal
Juror they created These were his
great drawing cards of the season
There are residents in Honolulu who
were on the slopes of Nesuyius dur
ing the big eruption when Prof Perret
was prisoner i'm the famous Nesu-
Wan observatory showered by tons
of molten ROCKS, and with scarcely
one chance in a thousand of ever
escaping for days being compelled to
keep to the cellar almost suffocGted, lie
might have deserted his post early
in the game, but the young American
was there TO make records, and hC
made one record the world will neve
/ forget
Prof Perret intends if possible t,
establish an observatory at Kilauea
This fact has been cabled around tn
world and is now being commente
on by the press of many lands. TIL
observatory will be a scientific inst
tuition pure and simple, but no on
can prevent it from being, what tn
Vesuvian observatory is to Italy, Il
greatest promotion asset possible
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-11-10
CRAFT AND SHORTAGE FOUND
ON THE TRANSPORT SHERIDAN

small wages, is really Offering its en-
ployes an incentive to be crooked.
at is only recently that the public
missed sensation which lay behind
the discharge of one of the second
stewards. This man, it was ascer-
tanned, was the proprietor of a Jap
anese art and curio store in one Of
the bay cities. Although it could not
be legally proven. the investigators
were satisfied that practically all Of
the stock of this establishment con-
sisted of Struggled goods. Scores Of
returning soldiers were in this mans
confidence and assisted him in get
ting the goods past the customs.
The greatest shortage in quarter
master stores consists of linen, such
as sheets, towels and pillowcases. The
department, it seems, has an ineffeCt-
i've checking system, or else the reg
ulations, such as they are, are
ignored"
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-11-10
CONGRATULATIONS
WERE MISPLACED

San Francisco Examiner: 1t is not
often that the breaking of an engage
ment is followed by a message of con
graduation to the Tilted near-bride-
groom by a friend, yet that was the
experience of Captain William Wood
us Greene a few days ago, after hav-
ing sailed from San Francisco with
the mitten of Miss Gertrude Macfar-
lane, the San Francisco and Honolulu
society belle, safely tucked away in
the ships safe.
OF course, when Captain Henry e.
Morton of the liner Mongolia called
his operator and dictated a message
of felicitation to be forwarded to the
skipper Of the Chiyo Maru between
here and Honolulu, he did not know
that Greene had pinned Miss Macfar-
lanes mtten to a marriage license.
When Mortons good intentions re-
ceived no reply, he was surprised and
bit disappointed The skipper Of
the Mongolia became still more sur
prised yesterday after his command
arrived to learn that the engagement
had been broken. He also understands
why Greene did not send an answer.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-11-10
CLAUS SPRECKELS STEPS OUT
Of THE REPUBLICAN PARTY

NEW YORK, Nov. 3.-Claus A..
Spreckels head Of the Federal Su,
gar Refining Company and the most
uncompromising foe Of the sugar
trust in the country, announced to-
day to the Examiner correspondent
that, although a lifelong Republican,
he has decided to quit that party and
align himself with the progressive
Democracy
Spreckels furthermre asserted that
the majority of business men of large
affairs among his acquaintance who,
like himself, have stanchly supported
Republican principles and candidates
with their influence and money for
years. have turned their backs on
their old political afiiliation.
THE present industrial and polit-
zeal condition Of the country shows
that the time for complete change
at Washington. both in the executive
and legislative branches of the gov
eminent. has come" said SpreCkels.
The multi.millionaire sugar magnate
was standing in front of the banking
house of J. p. Morgan & Co. when he
spoke. He was reminded that prob
ably finaciers like Morgan were still
committed to the Republican party
and its policies,
Many Feel Same Way.
81 don't happen to know just what
Mr.. Morgan's attitude is" he respond
ed, but | do know that many big
tinanciers who have been Republicans
all their lives will work and vote with
the Democrats from now on to the
close of the campaign next year.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-11-10

create. Prof Perret has given his
time and energies con amore and will
continue to do so. He has spent much
time and trouble preparing his color.
ed slides and the lecture for tonight,
when some of Bonine's best work will
be seen.
The famous volcanologist is doing
for Hawaii that which the whole world
would gladly persuade him to do to
his own immense financial advantage
lecture on the volcanoes he has
studied. but the scientist will not leave
his chosen work for the lecture plat
form. He gave a brief talk recently
at the University Club. 1t was sim
pie. direct and thrilling, without
scientific word employed that a layman
or a child could not clearly under
stand. He revealed the wonder work
ings of our own volcano in a lucid
manner that surprised everyone To
night at the Y NJ. c. A. he will give
talk on our own Kilauea and other
volcanoes. Every school boy and girl
and every kamaaina should be pres
emit The tickets are but fifty cents
each, so that all may attend the popu-
lar illustrated talk on volcanoes, and
they may be had at the Public Ser.
vice rooms or at the Y. NJ. c. A.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-11-10
CAUSE FOB ALARM.

That hacking cough may appear 10
be of no consequence, but you may be
certain that it indicates some de.
rangement of the pulmonary system.
This fact in itself is enough to cause
alarm DO not wait until it causes
you annoyance, it may be too late
then, but get rid of it now, Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy is famous for It's
cures of coughs and colds and one
bottle costing but a trihe may save
you any amount of trouble and eN
pense later on. For sale by all deal
ers, Benson, Smith & Co., agents for
Hawaii.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-11-10

SAN FRANCISCO Nov. 3.-Follow-
ing a wholesale discharge of nearly
every employe in the stewards de-
partment of the United States trans
port Sheridan during the last few
days, a startling condition of graft,
gambling, liquor selling and snug
Cling is alleged to have been laid bare
by Inspector General William II.
Bertsch.
Though the investigation is said to
have developed certain evidence TO
show that at least some of the men
dismissed may have participated in
criminal ventures, this evidence was
not strong enough to convict.
1t is also alleged that when the
checking up of the property stores of
the Sheridan is completed within the
next few days, a shortage of several
thousand dollars will be shown.
The scandal is confined to some Of
the civilian employees in the trans
port service and will not, it is said,
reflect discredit upon any of the Off
GERS in the quartermasters or sub
sistence departments.
Although the investigation has 50
far been directed exclusively into
matters pertaining to smuggling and
liquor selling, it was said yesterday
that if the expected shortage mater
ialized the inspector general would
extend his Investigations in the hope
of ascertaining how this came about.
Chief Stewart Dismissed.
Captain Henry l.. Kinneson, quar-
teTmaster captain of the Sheridan, is,
according to the regulations, held re.
sponsible for the stores on his ship,
but it is known that he is entirely
blameless for the missing articles.
Although Kinneson may be held
responsible technically, Chief Stew
ard Denny has this class of goods in
charge. Denny, according to instruc
lions just received from Washington
will be dismissed as soon as the
stores have been checked and turned
over to the department.
1t is asserted, however, that the dis
missal of Denny is not based on any
Irregularities in his department, but
because of his becoming intoxicated
on board the ship while at NagasaiSi
Captain Kinneson said:
"The entire matter is being inves
tigated by Major Young, superintend
ent of the transport service at this
port; Major William Hart, of the sub
sistence department, and Major VIII
liam II. Bertsch, inspector general @
the Pacific division. I think it bettel
for me to say nothing at this time.
Lack of System.
Kinneson's reticence was explained
by an army officer who said it wa
beginning to be recognized through
out the service that it was not SAT-
for an officer to be careless in the dis
cussion of matters not intended 70
the public.
although I do not care to u
known in the matter, don't mind eH
pressing a few things" he said. 9Th
truth Of the matter is that there is al
utter lack of a proper system in tn
transaction of affairs aboard tn
transports. One of the troubles /
that the government, by paying Blu