The Washington bee., 1911-07-01
Public Men And ThinDs
(By the Sage of the Potomac.)

| nave TO teach the young idea how
to shoot l ought to have more time
! to hand out chunks of wisdom, spiced
with humor and whitfield down to a
point But let me impress upon all
you gentle readers who borrow The
Bee from your neighbor, that it's not
a soft Congressional lob to dish I'D
/ a Column or two of sagetic matter
(eveTy week Last Wednesday when
jSChOOl was out, | repaired to my
$3.50 per month ducal palace, hied
/ myself to my summer-furnished den,
| ana started my think tank to working.
| But every time / began to "thunk"
that little ape of a ginx waved his
gloom flag over me, my peppers got
| heavy, and l was off on a dream vow
| age before l knew it. This has been
a hard year Tor we graded school
| teachers, and now when we were hav-
| ing visions of a quiet vacation the
School Board goes and elects a new
superintendent, and rumors of changes
give us the Jim-jams. Sometimes [
wish l were Judge Pugh. If | were
! l sure would hand out Sixty days
and cost to every one of these pin-
headed intriguers who are trying to
start something now that we have a
new superintendent. Now | hope
Professors Jackson, Bassett, Jennifer
and Shipen won't think I'm referring
to them, because no one ever did call
| them pin-heads. That is to their face.
X < x
But speaking about Judge Pugh,
don't you know he's a real gold brick.
Funny how some men develop. Now
Jim Pugh use to float around Wash
ington under a sombrero, and on the
reputation of his daddy, and we just
called him Jim Pugh, and didn't
think much of it when we called him
Jim. Some how or another he got it
into the top gallery of his brain that
he weighed just enough, according to
averdupOis standard, to be a Judge
Lots of people just laughed, and
laughed, and laughed when they heard
it. 1t seemed so ridiculous to them.
Fmally5a buried treasure" was found
| down on Eleventh street some place,
and it was decided to hand him the
ermIne. This news gave poor Jim
| Pugh the chills and fever Then
! somebody, somewhere and somehow,
projected a projectile through the
front window of the buried treas
ure,' which let in the light and air,
Iexposing some old mOth-eaten things,
| and it was all off Then Jim Pugh,
who was registered No. in the
judge steeplechase, got word from the
/ big house down on the avenue that he
might get ready to ease into the er-
mine Well, all we "cullud pussons"
/ nc
"tickled mofe to death" when we dun
hearn the news" and all the poor
devils who eat cocaine for desert and
drink unbonded whiskey instead of
water, because they can't help 1t, be
gan to believe that heaven wasn't t
50 far off after all.
X Z
Well limits Judge now-in the
language of Sir Arthur johnson, Duke
of Fistic Arena, and Privy Councillor
to his highness Fool Talk, has made
more than good. And let me prom
ise you he looks like a judge. That
fierce mustache he used to wear on
the facade of his face, and which
Hooked like one of Dick Turner's dis
cards, has disappeared, and he's
wearing clothes now that look like
they were made for a white man in
stead of a Zulu chief Fact is, he
looks like a real, sure enough judge
But Judge Pugh is brim full of the
milk of human kindness. Judge Kim
ball, apparently, used to think that
the way to lessen crime was to fill
the jails and workhouses, and so he
lrailroaded everybody and anybody
through-come near getting Bob Pei
ham, if it hadn't been for Senator
Smith Judge Pugh believes the way
to lessen crime is to hand poor devil
who has the world against him q
spoonful of hope and a ray of sun
shine. Whenever he hands out a Sc
we're sentence he does 1t in a way
that makes you feel that he feels the
blow the worst. Whenever he gets d
chance, and he usually takes the
chance, he'll mix so much mercy with
Ijustice that the poor devil who has
to take the dose just closes his eyes
lgrins, and swallows it with gratitude
The elevation of Judge Pugh to the
bench has been a gOd-send to the
poor devils who have COmplexIOns
that border on a dark night III &
graveyard. He knows how long then
winters are, and how short their Sum
liners are, and he knows most O!
b them are Just what white men have
ldriven them to, so he wraps up hi:
, sentences to blacks in a yard o.
mercy. sprinkles a bit of justice per
fume over them, hands them a pill O
advice, and sends them on their way
believe it was Emory Washburn, Of
, some other Massachusetts antidelu
Wan who crawled out of an incubatoi
, about 1900, who said ''the best judg,
lis the judge with a heart" WheI
old Emory relieved himself of tina
he must have had a tip from ST
J, Peters affinity that Jim Pugh woulc
) be on the bench from 1910 on, fo
it just fits this son of Alabama Ever
= time l meet him l take off my hat anC
: bow low, because he's a judge that!
got a heart, and it's no dilated hear
at that. It's a great big human hear
: that beats twenty-four hours IN th'
: day for unfortunate humanity.
x =
: I am figuring on taking a vacation
but every time I get to planning th'
door bell rings, and when l go down
p some bill peddler hands me please
call and settle" I did want to take
, a run down to the sea shore ant
) look EN- over IN tights, but these bii
; peddlers keep me busy, so busy that