Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-09-08
Avery Wise
Young Man

Fred Somers and his widowed moth
er were having a family talk in the
library Fred was still in college, but
he was very wise young man. He
was so wise that had attempted to die
tate to his sister, Edith, as to how
her smiles were to be distributed.
There had been rebellion and defiance
on her part and hence the family
council.
Il wish Edith were more tractable,"
sighed the mother.
Can you argue with a girl who has
her fists doubled up? Now let's go
over the list again. There is Waters,
who is a perfect ninny. There is
Thompson, who hasn't got a dollar.
There is Rush, who is a perfect sissy.
There is Alvord, who sings passably
well. but will never earn $25 a week.
There is Clingham who is living on
his poor old mothers bounty. The
whole five rolled into one wouldn't
make a man and yet she keeps them
dangling around her"
Edith Somers had at least the five
callers named at the family council.
Two or three of them had escorted
her to the theater. Another had TAX
en- her to the horse show. She had
bowed to them on the avenue or in
the park and she had chatted and
smiled at home. What OF it? Can't a
girl do that and much more without
being in love?
In his class We're three different
young men Fred liked exceedingly
we'll He invited them by turns to
run down home with him and Of
course Sister Edith met them. While
| he was trying to conspire further the
sister added two more TO her string,
making seven regulars" and three
substitutes.
Another family council was called,
81 throw up my hands!" announced
! Fred in tones of despair.
whats she done now?" meaning
Edith.
Got two more! One has been in
an insane asylum, l believe, and the
other will soon get there. | started
to say something to her an hour ago.
but she elevated her nose and walked
off"
IL had five beauX at one time my
SELF" replied the mother, who thought
the case had not yet arrived at the
danger point.
But she's got ten and more coming
every minute!"
But | don't believe Edith is in
love-"
Girls are deceivers, mater-sly de-
ceivers. The first we know she'll an
nounce that she is going to marry
this or that brainless ape. Here and
now | wash my hands of the whole
affair. Let Edith go to her garret and
her crusts | have said my last word"
Edith Somers added two more to
that famous String" so as to make an
even dozen, but she heard nothing
from Fred in regard to it. He was
keeping his word
Summer opened: he came home on
his vacation and the trio went to
lake resort. At the end of a fortnight
a new face appeared at the Somers'
table Fred sized up the stranger and
said to himself:
"Homely enough to stop a clock, No
fear of Edith taking to hm."
And after several furtive glances
across the table Edith said to herself:
Strong, sensible, unromantic. l
might like him"
After three or four days there were
introductions. The stranger was
George French, mining engineer.
Mr.. French was invited to go out in
a sail boat with the trio. Mr.. Fred
was twenty-four years old and he
took charge of the boat. There was
no great call for wisdom in the man
aging of a sail boat in a gusty day. All
that is needed is about five years eX-
perience.
Ten minutes of exhilaration and
then a gust struck her and she went
over. The wise Fred was tangled up
with the sail and the two ladies were
ready to go to the bottom when Mr..
French got clear of the rope tangled
about his legs and began work. He
reached out an arm for all and gath
cred them TO the overturned boat and
directed and chfded and encouraged
until the rescuer came.
1t was three months later that Fred
Somers said 10 his sister:
Eddie, what's become of that civil
engineer?
out west, l believe" was the an
swer.
Say, now l was in hopes"
"He hasn't quite asked me to yet.
but | expect he will in his next let
ter. Oh, run along. You are twenty
four years old and a very, very wise
young mani"