davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

Lay Of the Hotel Lobbyist

Il see the Postoffice department has
ordered carriers not to deliver mail where
dogs grOwl and snap" observed the Chair
Warmer I'D.
Yet some consider them snap jobs!" ex-
!, claimod the Hotel Lobbyist Let dogs de-
usht to bark and bite. but the government
drawssthe line at their taking large sec
lions out Of the delivery service in the
aforesaid delight. They won't even let a
registered bulldog gnaw a registered letter
carrier
TITS only during the hydrophobia season
whatever that is-so II won't make the mail
CARRIERS, mad, Stnl. that isn't the only
thing that, makes them mad, and hot
Weather isn't the only time-for instance,
Christmas and Valentines day. There aIe
Two days when a saint. let alone a mail
carrier. would be mad going around rugged
up like a lighter or a packmule and getting
nothing, but kicks from the people, who
think he's holding out on them.
"Around those festaI occasions a mail
carrier Is gloomy like London, only differ
ent- What is the difference. MIR. Bones,
between London and such a mail carrier ?
Well Mr.. Tambo. London is enveloped in
feg and mail carrier is logged IN en-
velopes. The only thing that keeps some
letter carriers floating around their beats
is the. hot air in the love letters. But we'd
better be careful, for some OF those car
riers may be descendants OF the man who
had the Boston tea party. I've said the
carrier Is sometimes rugged mp like a
lighter and they could make his load a lit
tle-lighter by removing the stamps. Why ?
Don't carrying the stamp tax his strength =?
This, however. is getting away from the
growing dogs, which is what most Of us
wish to do. usually. II is so disconcertng
for a mailman to try distributing letters in
a bunch of metallic letter boxes that we're
intended FOR entryway decoration and
codldnt hold anything but very ENACT
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

1t was done up in linen bandage and.
was being petted. ..,.
How did you do ,it?" was the SYM
pathetic question that It ELECTED.
Burnt It," she pouted. 80,
''oh, that is too bad. How7' Sympathy
still queried. ..t....
Cooking" she answered, stil with the
air OF one aggrieved and abused. o.
You ought to cook something besides
yourselfl" Sympathy affirmed. thinking to
remove the scowl that hung portentously
above the clouded eyes. ..
You mean 1 ought not to cook" she in
teFrupted, a perfect avalanche Of seething
disgust and anger in her words
And sympathy was voiceless Her ST.
lence, however, was not noticed. The Burnt
One appeared to have had vigorous con-
flagration raging within, which she pro-
ceeded to empty volubiy through her lips.
while the flash OF her eyes shot like white
and snsky twists of radiation across the
red flame OF her rage.
I'm just tired of It. Housekeeping is the
most monotohous thing in the world.
haven't had a girl for year. / don't see
why woman has to wear her life out Just
| Shaving about a house. II makes me SO
miserable TO see the Blanks with their car.
And the zeros spend money like water.
Why Mrs. Zero just shuts up the house
and goes TO the mountains and has per-
fectly splendid time And I-cook."
sympathy had common-sense, too. It
spoke.
."But Mrs. Zero has not always had things
so luxurious"
Indeed, she has not" the Burnt One
cried, with savage glee. IT can remem-
I haUa n -. =
seemed to like it, too"
1t was perfectly clear that the Burnt One
considered that the days when she did ali
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

According to advices from
Washington, Omaha will lose
as the result OF the army sta
ton changes, only the differ
ence between what 1t now has
ana what 1t will have after
July !. That isn't much. 1t
only comprises three brigade
posts, the headquarters staff
and a few little incidentals
like that. Let Jus be magnifi-
cent, and say "Poof!" We
have assurances from our
senators that the loss is insig-
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
YE EDITORS IN TOWN
Come to Omaha for Con-
VenttOn and Go Home
Loaded with Advice.

Ye Editor had the pleasure
OF meeting a great number OF
his brethren of the press dur
ing their stay in the city. and
le pleased to be able to say
that he enjoyed the exper-
lence. He hopes also that the
Nsiung EDITORS had as good
time as they professed.
They must have been deeply
impressed by the solicitude
that was shown for them on
All sides. No matter where
they went, they were not only
given entertainment galore,
but were loaded down with adj
vice.
For example, the head i'm
presario of the stock yards
told them what the country
press might do TO help. out
the Live stock industry by
boosting for the Omaha mar
ket At the Field club, they
were told how they might aid
In developing interurban cleo
trio railroads by seeing to II
that franchises were granted
on terms to suit the promot-
ers; how they could Cooperate
with the great railroad sys-
TENS in developing the land.
ana how they could keen ont
OF trouble by avoiding per-
sonal controversy with one
another, and with the public
at large.
Finally, q schoolmaster of
ability told them how. much
GOOD the public schools do for
the newspaper, providing read
efs and writer's and the like
Tor It's uses, and 4 divine of
some emtnence gave them
much adJuration as to the
exact quality Of publication
they should make. II the edit
tors put into practice ali the
hortatory suggestions made To
them by outsiders, they'll not
need TO hold another conyen-
ton in ten years.
When left to their own de-
vices they had a bully good
time, talking about matters
that concern printers work,
the relations OF the editor and
publisher to the public, 70 his
fellows in the business. and
70 the association, and the
fact that not a spot on the
program failed to print up
shows that the editors really
did do something.
But the editor win work out
his own salvation, ana do his
allotted share OF the worlds
business all the better for
these days OF recreation, and
knows Just what value 70 put
on the Rdmonitory inJunctions.
30 freely handed him by those
who never tried TO sOiVe his
problems. -...
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

the work more seriously this distinction
would be eliminated. Given two applicants
for a position, one exceedingly clever In
workmanship, but loud in dress and man
ner, and another OF mediocre ability, but
refined and dignified. 1 would choose tie
latter without hesitancy because 1 know
would find her at her desk in the morn
ing The field is flooded with stenogra-
piers, but there is always room for a good
one at thS top"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
on RPoET's CORNER.
Magic PIaaterE

Magic Plasters.
One time a certain player
Was injured in q wreck;
They gave him something
for it
What else would you lex
peck2"
That afternoon I saw him,
In four times up to bat,
Make two home runs-so help
me
Now what. do you think of
that2
Commend me to a doctor
For ordinary ills
But, / VOW, the magic plAS-
ter
Beats liniments or pillsi
F. B. T.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

Name andAd dress Yean
Jesse ~ % kelom
NloIet Can zbl6 Brown ST. Saratoga 1S97
Ruth Djueen 1914 Ohio
cecilia Donahoe 2O9 North Sixteenth Holy
FRANK Freyer 27ll South Twenyfh Conception 1908
Rosalee
III
warren A Hug 1916 South sixteenth Comenius 1896
Charles Houl North Twnyfourh
G. Horsman 3464 Fowler Monmouth
Helze
-.
Il Ersktne -.
Arthur Kelley 3032 Emmett
krakoWska 1918 South Twntyxth
Kambh South
Rosie Koukoa 102 William
Manderson
Bessie Eleventh
s- IL
2626 Blonde
Osborn 2516 Maple Howard
webster
Fourteenth Sherman ..1S
Sacred
Nineteenth
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
COn4nIfnH.

The good folks who are con-
tribuung the money to fl
nance the campaign ought to
get much consolation out of
the reports made by the
sleuths who are gathering the
evidence against the vicious.
These detectives In each in
stance report having had a
rare round Of pleasure in pur-
suit OF their calling.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
Well.

Just = little while ago,
Omaha was all torn up by q
fierce and apparently urgent
demand for lighting fran
ehises or various kinds. The
matter was presented to the
city council, and there II seems
% 10 have rested. What's the
answer
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
The Car window.

The Car window.
He went on a trip thro' the
sand hills
His longest one yet. I
guessed.
AS the train sped swiftly
onward,
The scenery his fancy Inn
pressed.
At length he became SO ex-
cited
That ! swear on this good
word OF mine
He wrote on a postal 10 NIL
dred-
These mountains are surely
finel" F. B. 7,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

Lincoln reminds one OF the
way one OF the boys used TO
hesitate on the bank, trying
the water with their toes be-
fore going In for the first time
In the spring. What Is needed
Just now IL the big roWdy
boy, who used to grab the
little fellows and toss them
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
Descent.

Hastings Tribune.
No more we talk of fathers
pants
And say they'll soon fit
Willie,
But now it's Mothers harem
toys
Will soon be worn by Tillie."
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
Gone.

No tears viii be shed be-
cause OF the passing Of the
Omaha red light district. But
what will the reformer do
when he mounts the stump
next year to plead for the
upnft? He'll have no 'horri-
Die example" TO point to.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

Old Doc Langfelt has an idea
that II a flock OF Anaora
goats Wero turned loose IN
Omaha each evening, and al
lowed to roam at large dur
Ing the night. they might solve
the garbage question. Sub
mitted to the city health de-
partmant
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
Exploded.

The grand jury didn't DO
much 70 Little Arthur. It lis
tened TO all he had TO say,
and then reported that moth
ing in his sworn testimony
supported the charges he had
made to the governor.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
InoOmplSte.

A local contemp. reports
that last Monday more water
than ever was drank In
Omaha. The figures are In
complete, though. Nothing IL
said Of other beverages con-
stunned.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
Only the Frame.

Two street urchlns spied a very thin gen.
tleman.
Gee, pipe the pikcher o. starvashun,"
said one.
Pikoher nuttin,l" scornfully answered
his companion. Oats only de frame.--
Public Ledger.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

The reception given the re-
urtnG councilman from the
Twelfth ward on his return
from tho west must have con-
ytnoeo him that his departure
from Omaha win be regretted.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
wait.
Crual.

Scientists tells us that 'ufti-
mately the sun win be as cold
as the moon now IL.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
3 Summer.

Little gobs OF sunshine,
Little blasts of wind
Make the weary toiler
Feel Ike he was skinned.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
TIP.

One good way to escape the
rigors OF the heated spell Is
10 30 ON about your business
and don't worry about some
thing you can't control.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

Frank Shotwell is our boss
little booster just now. He
isn't looking for anything
himself, and that makes II
II all the easier for him to
try for something for some
one else.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

And Just think Of the nerve
OF OLD Doc Conneli 70 ten us
70 boil the ice.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

Omaha has decided which
team will be In seventh place
for the time being at least.
And some other had better
mind out.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
June.

These rare days in June
would be a lot more enjoy
able II they were permitted
70 cool a trtfle before being
served.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

sin other towns In the league
are warned to take note Of
what Pas boys did TO To-
peka. That's only q starter.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

Bill MAupin was amongst
us for some time during the
tache and looks less like
Bryan than ever before.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
Natural,

Don't blame those Council
Bluffs street car rails for. try.
ing to- wiggie out OF th6s sun.
shine. Most ANYBODY would.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

One OF the beauties of pro-
ceedings at the Den has al
ways been that no one knew
what was coming next. Even
Gus doesn't this season.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

sign OF low tastes and bad breeding.
That's why she cannot really enjoy her
money the Burnt One asserted. She
cooked and sewed and grubbed till she lost
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

her own work were a stigma on the present
iuxuriousness of Mrs. Zero. And she
scorned her enjoyment Of the manual and
mental domestic activity as If It were a
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

Old Doc Hoffman reports
that he performed several am
puthuons on Thursday, the
result of frostbites suffered
during the day.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

Bundle Bee stings ere al
ways the best
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09

Charlie Karbach's headlight
Is pointing the way for some
crook who doesn't seem to
realize the enormity OF his
offense. II the home OF q po-
lice commissioner is not sa-
cred to the burglar, where
does the plain citizen get Off
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-06-09
RIGHT HERE AT HOME
Matters that Are of Pass
ing Interest 10 Our
Steady Perunern.

bNCAUy ECEuBCF0s
Bob Manley has come out
into the open and acknowl-
edged that he is a regular edi-
tor. None Of Roberts copy
was ever refused by q local
daily, but that didn't seem TO
satisfy him, and he Is now
the presiding genius Of q heb
domedal sheet that is worth
twice what is charged for 1t
at the Den. It will never have
the biggest circulation in the
world. but II will always be
read with relish.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1911-06-22
NORMAL NOTES.

.1 3 {
New students are enrolling almost
every day.
The social to be given by the In
stitute is to be held on next Thurs
day evening.
Miss Goodeil has resigned her APP
pointment as chairman Of the social
committee and Miss Iva Brown win
take her place.
Miss Daisy Talbot rendered a vo-
cal solo in chapel which was APP
preciated by one and all.
Some students think agriculture
is awfully simple, but others think
It is simply awful.
The following persons favored us
with visit today: Misses Ethel
Giles, Addie Over and Mabel Hop
kins OF Abilene, Miss Mabel Shoup
Of Cimmarron, Miss HammerlI Of
Oak Hill and Mrs. H, d. Turk OF
Detroit.
The English literature class Is
taking Eyangelline which often In
cites interesting discussions.
Some teachers are actually think
ing Of placing hook in the walls
Of their school room on which to
suspend mischevous pupils.
Most Of the students will return
to their homes this afternoon and
up to come back Monday. fresh
for a good weeks work, in which
an unusual interest Is shown.
School opened this morning with
an enrolment Of 1875.
Among those who Joined our ranks
today were Miss Jessie Kllgore and
Ralph Taylor.
The mascot Of the Institute made
It's appearance this morning in the
form Of cat. However, 1t was not
q bad omen as It was not a black
cat
Several vacant seats In chapel
show that many are out in search
Of schools and By the height Of weeds
around some Of the school hoses We
fear some win not be able to find
q school
Miss Josephine Perrin visited nor
mai today. Prof. Perrin and Ma.
Josephine rendered a pretty duet r.
chapel
Our good taste makes Ne admire
the taste Of Misses MiIier and Never
IN thsif taste for good tusuus thlnrs.
The students consider themselves
cutie fortunate IN having Mn, Cen
try on The faculty.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1911-06-22
PREsTDENT FOR ONE DAY.

Frogtown, KY, has the unique
distinction OF having been the birth
place Of a man who was President
Of the United States for the space
Of q single day. This was David
R. Atchison, who, as a citizen Of
Missouri, served in the National Sem
ate under Polk and Taylor and
Pierce, and for whom the town OF
Atchison in Kansas was named. In
those times, the president pro tenn
Of tie senate was in line for the
presidency, in case there were no
president or vice president Of the
United States. March 4. 1S4s, fell
upon a Sunday. Gen Taylor was
due to be inaugurated president on
that day, but because 1t was Sun
day, he refused to be inaugurated
TN the next day. neither did he take
the oath Of office until the ceremony
Of Inauguration occurred March IN
front Of the capitol, Hence Senator
Atchison. who was at that time preSi-
peculiar combination Of clrcunn-
dent pro tenn Of the senate, BY this
peculiar combination Of cireum-
stances. became president Of the
United States de iure from the hour
Of noon on March 4 tn the house
Of inauguration on the day follow
ing. Atchison lived many years AZ
er his retirement from the senate
and was careful to have this Incl
lent incorporated 10 his biography.
9e died IN Isss.-Louisville cours
ler-Journai.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1911-06-22


A new get-rich-quick scheme has
been put into practice and found to
produce good results. A certain
man and his wife walked Gown Kan
sas avenue few evenings ago. met
another man and his wife, and Hus-
band No. began prodiglous cam
paign OF making eyes" at Wife No.
2 who noticed his attentions and
paid them back with interest. The
following day Offending Husband ap-
preached Offended Husband and Of
fered to withdraw his attentions and
say nothing of the past for a con-
sideration of check for 500. The
amount was paid over. The sequel
to the story is that the wife Of the
flirtatious man understood and sane
toned the plan and gets a rakeoff for
new bonnet.-State Journal.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1911-06-22

The New York Tribune dispose'
Of the old belief that a person Of
animal, in the spasms Of hydrophO
-bIa acts like 4 dog. Horse 'barket
me a dog. did be, when he develop
Cd rabIesf Probably wagsod BIZ
tai and took to knawins bones. TOO
and answered 10 the name Of Fido
Really. Il Il extraordinary that thess
old superstliionn about hydFophObiu
20 long persist, he maildy Il more
prevalent among the canine tribe
than elssVhefs, pe7haps; but . Bite
from q mad dos no mofs Invests 10
t|rnn rlih dofllte traits pnd habitf
ilsn 4 pen fron 4 mad e,sle poelt
~. g nan 40 rertf % Night
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1911-06-22

This is a queer world. Judge Blair
punished 1900 voters in Adams coun-
ty. Ohio, for vote selling. After II
was done he started out lecturing. AT
Denver he declared that he had only
punished the vote seller, that the vote
buyer was acting through necessity
and ives honest. Now come affidavits
to show the real reason. Ten men
swear that they sold their votes ia
Judge Blair. That shows why ne
punished only the vote sellers. 1t IL
lust as much a crime to buy vote
as to sell. In fact there is reason to
believe 1t is more a crime. No mar
can sell his vote unless there is q
buyer. That being true. the buyer a
the tempter and the first criminal
Lawrence Journal.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1911-06-22

This roar from the state Journal
indicates that Topeka also has some
trouble with buying away from home;
"An attempt Is being made BY the
printers Of Topeka to influence q
few Of the city banks to have theiI
blanks OF all kinds printed In To
peka. II is claimed that a number
Of banks have their printing don,
out Of town. II Is argued that Nc
other Institution is 20 dependent uD-
on the town Is q bank and Il is only
iair that their printing should b
done here.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1911-06-22
HAVE A SANE FOURTH.

A year ago an ordinance severely
restricting the use Of firecrackers
and other death-dealing Fourth OF
July implements was discussed but
the dealers objected because they
had laid in their stock. Such or
dinanees should be adopted and en-
forced. The age is framing a Sane
Fourth and the city which does not
fall in line is an antiQuated city
There is reason enough for the sane
movement. Blind and crippled chill
dren all over America tell the tale
H. H. windsor, a writer in the July
Popular Mechanics says:
"What seemed to many three years
ago an impossible thing is already
practically an accomplished fact. The
Sane Fourth idea has not only spread
rapidly, but wherever adopted, the
improved conditions from every
standpoint have abundant'y demon
strated its wisdom. Other amuse-
ments than dangerous explosives have
been found for young and old, and
the only real sufferers are the fire
works makers, the largest Of whicL
has recently gone into bankruptcy
Night fireworks will continue to be
used, but under the direction Of po-
lice or fire departments in a way
to render the display safe to spec
tators aad to minimize the danger
to those in charge. The indications
are from all parts Of the country
that the day this year win be made
the occasion for beautiful and in.
structive historical paraues, and
that the new custom now so success
fully inaugurated will become per
manent. One stirring historical
float win do more to nurture real
patriotism than q carload Of cannon
crackers"
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1911-06-22

You win notice that the suits
against the Standard OIL Co. are fcE
fines "and fees." II the fines Of Sept.
Il, 1909. and June I, 1911, can be
made to stick there ought to be a
good layout. At 500 a day 1t would
be approximately $4,000 a county
or s5.s5O,OoO for the state. TIE
attorneys fees would be about q
fourth OF this or something over a
million. The Standard does no,
know what It Is humping against in
Kansas.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1911-06-22
We KANSAS PEDAGoGUE.

She was once charming maiden,
but that once was long ago, and the
wrinkles chased each other cross
her forehead to and fro. And her
eyes had lost their sparkle, and her
hair was getting thin, and her Ro-
man nose kept roaming till it al
most touched her chin.
Once her feet were very tiny, that
was when she was child, now they
I'VE grown to full proportions, like
the kind that Trilby styled; on her
hat were turkey feathers, on her
skirt swaying train, for she was
a country schoolma'am, and the
styles have changed again.
Oft she's told her puzzled pupils
startling tales Of missing links, how
they irrigate the desert from the
tear drops Of the sphinx; how the
Mississippi valley used to be a mar
row draw and the Indians hoped
across 1t when they wished to jump
the law.
How the water round Gibralter is
the hardest water found, how gla-
cier dropped Mount Whitney, when
1t struck gopher mound, now you
have a faint idea of a Kansas schools
ma'am's looks, and of several things
she teaches, but you don't know how
she cooks.-Jas. @. Alright.