The herald., 1911-08-10


warned that the next time he was
caught in our yard he would be prose
cuted under the law. He put on
great deal of injured innocence, but
continued to steal my squads. Finally
/ caught him again. had him arrested
and the next morning appeared against
HIM in court
"Jutch." he said to the court, assum-
ing the expression Of a martyr, 81 leaf
II to you wedder a poor man like me
can affort TO eat squap. How woult
/ know | like squap If don't know
bow dey taste got TO puy 'em first,
hafn't |. to know wedder | like emp
That's a very ingenious argument.
Hans" said the prosecutor, taking up
the case, but ii won't work. Did you
never taste any kind Of game-duck.
quail, snipe"
"Neffer. Do you take me for shen,
tleman"
you've eaten young chickens.
haven't your
"Proilers! You think I can affort to
eat proilers? All t. proilers go into
T houses Of shentlemen like you. Pc
sites, ven t proilers are two years
oft don like EN-"
"How can a broiler be two years
old?" asked the prosecutor. II should
consider a chicken two years old a
pretty aged bird"
"a proiler not pc two years olt!
HIM! Yo' 60 to { colt storage house
10 flint 'em tree, four. fife years Olt"
"We're not trying the cold storage
men," said the prosecutor. Were
trying you. Hans Schneider, for steal
ing Mrs. Perkins squads. What did
you eat for breakfast this morningT
Sausage"
Anything else?"
"Breat und coffee"
"Are you sure you didn't eat squabr'
"Sure."
"Hans. did you ever hear Of Herr
Roentgen"
mo"
"He discovered a process by which
one may look inside the body and see
what's there"
Hans looked uneasy.
"Now I'm going" continued the pros
ecutor, ito use one of these machines
to look inside your stomach, and II
find SQUAD there his honor will send
you up for a long term. Ii you will
confess I'll ask him to let you off with
small fne-just enough to pay fol
the birds you have stolen. Now, viii
| hn
"Vat is t principle Of t machineT
} asked Schneider.
The lawyer was a bit staggered.
THE principle is that peculiar ligh
called the Roentgen ray eliminates
mans inside !. nd shows what Is there.
The prisoner thought awhile. theI
said:
81 ike t. see how dat Is done. Yol
show me vat you hat for breakfast di
morning. und tell you what ! do"
"Come. come" said the lawyer stern
~, enough of this. Send for tn
machine"
He whispered to an attendant to g
to an optician near by and bring
certain instrument he designated
When 1t arrived the German looked a
1t with much interest 1t consisted
two brass cylinders. with glasses a
each end. mounted on an upright.
"Now. Hans" said the attorney, "b'
fore applying the test I'll give you on
more chance. Will you confessT
4 Hans hesitated The instinct Of il
vestigation indigenous with his rae
struggled with his fear Of detection
At last he said:
"If you flint the squap in my ston
ach how long for go to shail?'
The lawyer looked at the judge, VIII
was watching this new method Of tri;
much amused.
"Thirty days." said his honor.
q 81 risk it," said Hans. Look I'M
l. my stomach"
e 81 withdraw the charge" l sal
coming to the lawyers rescue.
"The charge is withdrawn" said Il
Judge. struggling to repress laughte
k sPrisoner, If another such charge
o made against you and you are prove
:. guilty I'll send you up for six months
IT Il wants 10 see, Sdlu tue pTiSout
!. wat vent truh my stomach dis NOR
g ing"
r, "That's not necessary now" sa
the prosecutor. "since the charge b
been withdrawn and his honor has d
missed the case"
N "Jutch." persisted Hans. 81 wants
10 know IL the machine can do the vo
derful things the shentleman says
Is can do. I'm reaty to go to shall
lie ind that Duet"
The judge winked at the prosecute
who placed the tubes against the G.
mans stomach and. after pretendi
~ to look into 1t. said to the judge.
~ "Since the case has been dismiss,
y. your honor. will say that squad
n plainly visible In the mans stomach
"Haw. haw!" laughed Hans. 81
machine is no goot d iln't eat sou
n. this morning. eat shicken vet
took from anudder voman's heproos
aavaria's AwakenIno.