The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-05-17


feet' Dropt EN- IN ser toe? r!lat'
noihin Why. seen i, bioke gel till
ed stone deid M Z never made S,it'
a bloumin' fuss as you're doin = Ic
don Tit Bits
Looking Eackv ard.
Were you nervous when you pro.
posed 10 your wife," asked Tie senti.
mental person,
No replied Mr. Meekton. but If |
could have foreseen the next ten years
would have been" Washington
Star
Her Fruit.
81 wish | was fish. sighed Susie.
.'Whyg"
"Cause papa said the ocean was full
of currents. and like eurrants better
than any kind of fruit 'cept bananas.
apples, oranges and sweet potatoesm-
Plttsburg Press.
Faith unshakon.
us that man reliable weather
prophet."
Il should say he Is" replied Farmer
Corntossel Sometimes his weather
is 4 few days ahead OF time or few
days helfindhand. hut il always gets
here. - Washington Star.
a Costly Lie.
MY wife found i poker chip III my
pocket, and told her il was dyspvp
ssia tablet"
''That was clever"
"lfar from 1t. She swallowed the
chip. aud the doctors Hills cost me
more than the jnck pot.
Heard In the Hall.
You don't know enough tn stay In
when II rains" derisivciy said the cane
to the umbrella,
Look here" retorted the umbrella
such bluffs from Il mere stick like yen
don't 10 with me Ny motto is Put
/ up or shut up every time"
sosh Docirable.
You say you married once for love
and once for money!?
Il did"
wen. what's your verdietg
Il think it would be nice II one
could combine little of each."-Louis.
ssbie SuuIieF-JOnrual.
A Fatal Omission.
can't for the life of me make ont
what my wife is driving at In this LET.
teri"
of course you can't, old chap. Don't
you see that she forgot to add the post.
seript"-New Orleans Times-Demo-
crat.
Both Hoped.
well, may I hope, then, dearest,
that at some time may have the SUI
perlative happiness of making you my
wife2n
Eyes; hope so, am sure" she re-
piled II am tired of suing fellows for
breach of promise"
Only on the Outside.
aWhy, Ethel, you don't mean 10 'eii
me you want to marry that baidnead-
ed Professor Wisemanf"
ut Is true he is bald said Ethel.
"but think how many young men OF
today are bald on the inside OF their
Lsa1is, ''r-..
His Promstion.
spa,s said little Johnnie, teacher Is
#
thinking about promoting me-
s'How do you know"
.sFrom what she said today"
Sand what was that?
"she said il kept Oh I'd belong to
the criminal class"
He Paid It.
Eyerbroke--I want to pay you some
HNnf d 40
hands, All, I'm glad to see you. Ever
broke Yes; want to pay you com
piment on your artistic way Of dun.
ming Sh-not word! You deserve
1t. Good morning"
injustice.
Wife, can't see why, because q wo-
man marres man, she should take
his name.
Husband--I quite agree with you. !
think that the poor chap ought to
have something which he can call his
own.--Illustrated Bits.
Relay Event.
"Son. how would you like to enter a
relay event"
"Fine. dad. was star at relay
events III college,.
$50 I've heard you say. Well. your
ma Is about ready to relay the car
pets. Washington Herald.
Proper and Common.
What Is the difference" said ri
teacher. between proper noun III
common noun?" The answer W;
not devoid of logic. but rather une
pected. "A proper noun is nos
used properly, and a common noun
noun used commonly"
A Financier.
Maud-Isnt the man you are en-
gagged to Spectator?
Clara-No, indeed! He's flnancier.
4 "How do yon know"
Tile didn't buy the engagement ring
until after had accepted him. Elk
change.
Rbsentminded.
"Butterfinger Is awfully absentmind-
ed"
what is his latestW
HE was driving nail and ham,
mered his thumb. He howled and put
the mail In his mouth and tried to
ding bis thumb on the floor"
a Statesman's Queer Ambition,
The great Lord Grey had an ambi-
ton far above politics. He had passed
the reform bill. but that did not salts
~ his soul. There was talk of Tagli-