davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
GOOD Jokes
DEAR OLD SOUL.

When Smith fell heir to that MUS
legacy he changed his name to
Smythe, and did everything In styie
Not word of protest did his nlotn
er make till the telephone appeared
Then she struck.
Never, Albert" she said. nrmiy
Never shall one of those things come
into my housed"
But. mother" he began.
II wonder you dare" she went on
Look at all those poor Hindus II
killed last year! Why we might
A light broke over Smythe's couh
tenance.
That wasn't a telephone. mother
That was a typhoon!"
Albert" said the old lady. yer!
sternly; don't you try to fool your
poor old mother with tales like that
Typhoon, indeed! know just as wei
as you do that the typnoon Is the EN-
peror of Japan!"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

said nothing. only turned and walked
out on the back porch. her mind run
ming thus:
IN go without tea-surely | can
do 1t one week-and let the child
have what she wants Joe Davis'll
maybe advance me half a dollar he
knows ! never forget to pay Marg
shall have the net-since she's so set
on II Patience knows the lawns a
heap prettier-but girls are all alike
just plumb crazy to be In the fash
ion-and all the others have net
'uecks."
Still revolving her plan. she scut-
tied away bareheaded and came pres
emily to Joe Davis general store.
Sure! You can have what you want
half dollar? Don't you name no such
thing! Help yourself. know a good
customer when | see her." Joe said
genially. when with some gatherings
she had made known her wishes
Disappointment waited on them.
There was not bit of net. or any
thing approaching It, In stock Joe
was genuinely sympathetic; II only
he had known sooner! Must It be
. had right on? Mrs. Lane nodded
He was mighty sorry-maybe mis-
wife might have something-there
Mrs Lane's head shook SO energenuc
ally as to silence him.
Silent herself. she turned home
ward Half way there gusty. Whit
fety wind blew something soft and
light directly In her face 1t was
creamy white. and wonderfully flow
cred and sprigged all over-a lace
veil. real rose point. though she die
not know 1t. The tricky wind hac
snatched 1t out of window up at the
Gore house. 1t was the great house
OF the village, and that day held I
visitor to whom rose point was com
monplace.
Mrs. Lane looked at the veil hun
xrily, snuffed the delicate scent It ez
haled. her mouth grew firm-she hal
found the thing-6nding meant keep
ing. But Margaret would not thinl
so-she would be all for hunting VI
the owner. never thinking Of her owl
need. She should not do 1t. Mr.
Lane had her own dull ambitions. Sh
loved her husbands daughter all tn
better now that he was dead. Marg'
ret should 60 to the picnic-Jimm
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

Kid Mccoy. the hero of ,,r
Is to open a sanltarium at v,
He said the other day to a NJ
reporter: 70
Il hope In my sanitarium n
lots OF grumpy middle-aged "
perfect health, and If | give th s''s
perfect health III give thai
youth and gayety and romano. :,
die age is stupid, If middle 40.
sale, 1t Is only because tho 49,
middle age is poor.
The woman" he continu.a
sends her grumpy mate to m, "
lishment will no longer have ;.
the bitter complaint Of Mrs pI..4
My husband, Is years .,o.
Mrs. Blank, used to kiss M
time we passed through a tun,., !.
now
she gave a bitter laugh
Now she said, he tak..
pull at his travelling flask
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Lawn Economics.

II note" says the sage, that you al
low sprinkler to spray water upon
your lawn almost continuously"
YES" said the native. I'VE do that
to make the grass grow"
But the other day l saw a mar
pushing clicker continuance over the
lawn and"
"Oh, yes; that was lawn mower.
And what Is its purpose?"
"Why, 1t cuts the grass"
Then why do you put water on II
70 make 1t grow II you simply cut Il
down as fast as It comes up?"-Judge
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Exits From Every Room.

A school building in which every
room has direct connection with the
ground, without first entering the
main hall, has been built just beside
the site Of the famous Collinwood CO..
school In which IT'S children persisted
by fire In 1908. 1t represents many
unique features Of construction and is
said to be as fireproof and panic-proof
as 1t Is possible for a school to be-
Popular Mechanics.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
That Would Catch Them.

That Would Catch Them.
Il wish | could think of some way
to get people to come to my church
| have tried to preach sensible SER
mons. and have done my best to get
out and mix with our citizens-to make
them feel that ! am interested in them
and their affairs But 1t seems to be
useless"
THE trouble with you Is that you
are not going at the thing right Why
don't you cut out the sermon and
the prayers and have only singing
and moving pictures7"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

Quency in passage and l began to
think there was no hope for me.
Doan's Kidney Pills cured me and I
have not had the slightest trouble
SINCE"
When Your Back is Lame. Remem-
Der the Name-DOAN'S."
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price soc.
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

to neglect
James G. Hardin,
Weatherford, Texas,
says: my feet and
limbs became numb
and I had terrible
pains through the
small Of my back,
K 1 d ney secretions
caused untold annoy.
ance by their fire.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Uncertain.

We'll. we'll. well.' said tho kindly
stranger. patting little Mollie on the
head. Il suppose you>are your papa's
little darling?"
Il don't know yet. thir" lisped Mol
lie. THE court hathn't dethided yet
Jutht now I'm the pet Of the Matri-
monial Fidelity and Cathualty Trutht
company. Life
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
A Fortifyino Experience.

You dictate all your letters?"
Yes" replied Senator Sorghum.
Sometimes you can get pretty good
dea of how little attention your letter
going to receive by watching the
manner and facial expression of the
,tenographer."
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

Aviation has taken hold Of the Chi
neses. and a school for man-birds 10
being opened at Pekin by Fuz Yu.
who lived a number Of years in this
country and became an enthusiastic
aviator, Chinese college students are
also adopting athletics. and will next
year send team to participate in the
Olympic games At Stockholm.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Last Resort

FRIEND suppose 1t was hard to
lose your daughter?
Fatner-Well. It did seem as II It
would be at one time. but she landed
this fellow just as we were beginning
to give up hope.-Christian Intel
iigencer.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
The Business Manner.

Was Jimson angry or collected IN
manner when his creditors insisted ON
lis paying up?"
He wasn't collected. but tho debt
vas"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Told Him Whv.

MT Nicefello tcautiously)-Whya are
'ou so cold and distant?
Sweet Girl tquietlyl-The sofa ia
90 heavy for me to move up to your
chair New York Weekly.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

MIS-. O'Bren-i was afraid, Mrs.
O'1Oole that yer husband would be
aid up fur some time, but | hear he 3
nlndln rale quick
Mrs. OIoole-Aye! Shure | be
ave he began to get well the minute
lie got sick
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Hence the Oampness.

Hence the Oampness.
Il had q frightful nightmare last
night"
Tell me about It"
Il dreamed that ! owned a private
yacht and started out to sail around
the world"
That's not so bad"
But In twinkling the yacht be-
came a tub"
"Oh!"
And the tub sprung a leak
"Horrors!"
Then woke up and pulled down
the window. My bed was rain
soaked"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
In the Eashinn

Mrs. Flutter is so sensational in
everything. She makes even an affect.
ng show of grief"
You're right-Quite a moving pic.
ure."
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Vigilant and SPEEDY.

There's nothing slow about Jones -
guess you never loaned him
money"
oh. yes. have That's what
made me speak that way loaned
him $40 six months ago and | haven't
been able to catch him since"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Paradoxical Pieasura

"This thing OF going to see baseball
James is sort of twist. isn't it,''
in what way?"
why. folks take outings In order
o see innings"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Merely a Temporary Disadvantage.
The widow had just announced hel

engagement
But. my dear Maria" said her
friend. you don't mean to tell me
that you intend marrying a man
you've only known for two weeks?"
On. yes" said the happy widow
Il can easily overcome that objection
IN time. | hope to know him tolerably
well after we have been married a
couple OF years. "-Harper's Weekly.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Ever NotIce7

Please don't ask me to explain It,
l beseech. on any score;
But the stork Is always friendly
With a fellow when he's poor.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Cause for Surprise.

fool and ms money are parted Quite
soon.
Is as true as shoes made OF leather.
But the thing that surprises US most il
the fact
How the two get 30 often together
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
SAYINGS OF FAMOUS MEN.

Darius Green "Ouch!"
The Montgolfiers: There's moth
ing like giving the public little not
air"
Mr.. Rockefeller: whether they
call 1t petrol or gasoline. you know
where It all comes from"
David: "On second thought. ! see
that ! ought to wish for larger wings
than those OF a dove"
Young Lochinvar: II can take one
passenger, miss"
Noah: For long distances though
still prefer = boat"
Hannibal: when | want to ride
over the Alps | always use elephants. .
Robert Burns: "Hoot! | wadna
trade my Pegasus for a. the airships
In creation!"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

why is it?' queried the youth, that
SO many people fail to mind their own
business?'
Ihere may be one or two reasons.
or poth, answered the home grown
philosopher. They may have no mind
DR. no business. -Philadelphia Press.
Such Is Fate.
why do you rock that boat ~
asked the wise man.
because, in case of accident" re.
pied the fool, I'm always saved"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
WEAK, ILL AND MISERABLE.

How many people suffer from back
ache, headache and dizziness with
out realizing the cause! These symp-
toms of kidney trouble are too serious
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Often tho Wav.

i thought they let you In on the
round floor In that irrigation deal"
They did. but the roof felt In on
ue."
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

Dobbins-Cheer up. old fellow;
there's good time coming.
Bronson-Not for me. My wife ia
coming back from the country tomor
row.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Sanitary.

Little Wiilie-What IL humidity. pai
n-Roiled atmosphere. my sen
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

Grace Gas clock strikes 12)-Gra-
cious! Twelve o'clock. How the hours
have flown.
Tom-Yes: and your father has
helped em some, too. I've heard him
tinkering with the clock In the library
for the last ten minutes.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

'N'PPeo IN the Bud.
Until now l have never had >.
for a small loan"
And until now l have nev., !.
obliged to refuse you"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28
Satisfied.

Satisfied.
l know . happy fisherman
Whose heart IL Ger cont.r..
Zen whom he gets no bite A. an
ne osems the time well spent
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-11-28

do you share this craza .ho,,. A.
chrysanthemumr'
Yes. tndeedi think II /, q d.,...
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1911-04-20
CYCLONE IN LEAD BELT
LCuntned from Nh nnge

the devastating work Of disturbed
condition of the elements that was
felt in three States. In our almost
immcdlat" vicinity, besides tn" dam
age done AT Elvins and Flat River,
the tornado wagrd with great vio-
lencc at Vale Mines, wrcckiug
buildings, uproOtimg and blowing
down trees, and IL is rcporthcd three
persons were killed there This lat
ter, however, has net been verified
The little town of Cadet was practi-
cnlly blown away, every house and
barn In the town being wrecked or
damaged. Here Mrs. Mary Cole
man was killed aud iuurtccu others
injured.
The same afternoon st. Louis was
visited 10y tornado, which killed
three persons and inlar"d fifty or
more, and damaged property to the
amount ui N},WO,u 600 Hail and rain
accompanied tn" turuHducs in every
place, Jagged chunks of ice half a.
large as man = hand falling in
many places. At Plummersville,
Ark, three men were killed, and at
Van Buren, the roofs of houses were
broken in 10y hail and immense dam
age done to crops
The day before Wednesday, three
towns In Kansas were cyclone swept,
IL persons killed and over 80 injured
while the farms along the track of
tornado were suffered greatly. Jop.
lin, Mo, was also visited by this
tornado; much damage was done to
property and one man was picked
up in the street, carried about 100
yards aud dashed against building,
probably fatally injured him, while
IA half dozen others were more or
less seriously hurt.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1911-04-20
In Reynolds county

The cyclone struck there at 80
p. IN. from southeast direction, go
mg northwest, destroying farm res
licences and bHrue aud blowing down
trees. II Is estimated that the tim
her loss is from G,UoO OuU 10 5000, 900
feet. THE first tu suffer I'm the
storms course was john Farri~,
whose barn was wrecked, then
George Mays residence with all its
contents the family taking refuge
iu a storm cellar Another house
ON the Hanover place. the residence
90! James Wuihlr was destroyed, th"
family taking refuge Ia the barn
which was To- one side Of the track
Of the storm. Then the Warrens,
new corners, who had just built a
two-Story frame. The family took
refuge in cellar, but II heavy cook
stove struck the top of ii and
crashed through, but luckily none
of them were hurt Below the War
ren's VIM. and J i'm Gober, two old
men, lived, and two girls were in
the house with them; the thigh of one
of the little girls was broken and
Guher was injured in the back. The
school house near by was blown
away. Avery Tate and family saw
the storm coming and started to run
ont Of its track, but the storm was
soon on them and they lay down on
the ground aud tried to hold to-
gether, but the wind caught them
and handled them roughly Meta,
IL grown daughter, was thrown 10 feet
and dangerously hurt, receiving IA
double fracture of the lower jaw on
the left side and her left leg was
punrtured by limb or snag; the
wife had the left leg broken and was
otherwise injured, the others escap-
ing with only slight injuries. Their
dwelling house, barn, crib and all
outhuuses were blown away, their
best horse killed and another Grip
Piled 80 that he had to be killed. He
lost nearly everything. Fowls were
Killed, the feathers in some in
stances being blown of of them.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1911-04-20
Her Life q Burden.

Ratcliff, TeX.-In II letter from
katrlitf, Mrs. Matte Campbell says
"My health was very bad. sui.
forcd untold misery every month,
aud at times, wished for death TO
end my suffering, for life was bur
den to me. tried Cardui, and il
helped me right away. Cardui has
stopped my suffering, made life
worth living, and filled my home
with Joy and happiness" II you
suffer as Mrs. Campbell did, Car
dui will certainly help you, as II did
her. Why not try it?
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1911-04-20
BISMARCK.

{. II. Lucy visited st, Louis this
week.
Mrs. W. f.. Fite visited st, Louis
this week.
Ed Tullock was "A st, Louis Wis
itor Tuesday.
Jasper Tullock left for his West
ern home Tuesday.
A. +. Nixon and wife Of Hayewrll
visited here Sunday.
Bailey Nicholson of Potosl Wis
tied Claude Sloan here this week.
Mrs. II. A. Farmer is entertain
ing her mother, Mrs. Baker, of De-
catur, III.
Claude J. Hill visited Wayne
county in the interest of the Mill
ing company this week.
The entertainment in Prof. Chill
toms room Friday was splendid and
was well attended.
The epidemic of measles has inir-
" well subsidized with little interfer-
ence in the school attendance.
w. A. Johe and wife Of Bonnie
Terre attended the funeral OF her
brother, j. Roberts, here Saturday
The remains OF John Roberts, age
40 years, were inferred in the l. o.
o. f. cemetery Saturday. He died
In st. Louis.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1911-04-20

: sters, the organization to carry
the name of Campfr" Girls Of
America. The leader, Mrs. Earnest
Thompson Seton, hopes To make the
movement reach country-w lde, and
the writer would like to see the girls
sufficiently Interested to arrange
for several organizations IN St
Francois county.
On April 30th, a Gospel Temper
ance meeting will be held nj Centen-
airy Church under leadership Of Mrs.
&. l.. Norwine. Come and hear
something good; come, to show
them you are believer in the
"White Ribbon" brigade; come, be-
cause your presence will add almost
one hundred percent to the interest.
"After storm. comes the calm
and then the tide turns An old
saying, but present conditions
among many of the Lead Belt Citi-
zens has magnined the truth con
tanned In the few words. VIII you
stand idly by and see the unfOrtnn-
ates suffer without forwarding Il
contribution, without even extend
ing the offer of your service, BE II
Home Missionary and lend your
talents wherever needed.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1911-04-20
Special School Election.

Notice l. hereby given 10 tn, Sp-
tiers ul School District of Farming
ton, also known IA District No. ~
townships 81 and &c. Ranges % uut
u, of st. Francois County. state of
Missouri, who are tan payers of such
district. and To the qualified voters
of said district, that u special school
meeting and election OF the district
will he held at the following places
in tn" city of Pennington, Mis-
souri,, tu-wit.
First Ward city Hall, corner ~
Henry aud Columbia Streets.
Second Ward Circuit Court Room
Mt Court House,
Third Ward Schmidt Bros. Shop
on Harrison Street,
Fourth Ward--Henry ManIey's
shop on Henry Street,
On Tuesday, April 26th, 1911.
the polls being open for sucn cleo
ton ut seven O'Clock Il. IN. of that
day and closing Mt six O'Clock y. IN.
of that day, for the purpose of vot-
ing upon proposition proposed by
the Board of Directors of said dis
trict, tO-wit: To authorize the Board
OF Directors 10 levy II TAX rate 81 ~
cents on the one hundred dollars as
sessed valuation for school pur-
poses.
ny order uf the Board Of Dirrc-
tors.
WILLARD h RARIDEN.
President
j. =. CAiCE, Secretary,
OF "Schoul District OF Pennington, g.
also known as District No. -.
Townships - and rs, Ranges -
and of 81. Francois County, Mis-
souri,.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1911-04-20
Stockholders Meeting.

Notice is hereby given that the
annual meeting of the stockholders
of the st. Francois County Bank
will be held at its banking house in
Pennington, Missouri, on Monday
May LIST, 1911, Mt 10 o'clock a. IN.
for the purpose of electing seven dl-
rectors for the ensuing year, and
for such other business as may
properly come before said meeting
THos. H. STAN, President
}. T.. COVER, Cashier.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1911-04-20
Entered into Rest

Saturday, April I'D, MIR. John
Goldman, aged ~ years, II months
and - days. This city has been his
home for number of years. He
was good, true Christian man and
Iunfailing friend. "Not dead, but
sleepeth," is the glad new thought
chiseled by loving hands ON the sar-
COphagus abOv" the silent form
within. "If man die, he shall
live again, is the glad new faith
that tranShgurrs humanity with II
glory that cannot fad" till all glorics
pulc in the splcndor of tn" r"surroc-
{ tiOn. The waves which wash the
eternal shores are breaking at our
/ feet. The sun Of our days is slant
ing toward the west, and in the cv-
eniug we take up the refrain:
"For tho from ont this bourne of
time and place
The flood may bear me far;
! hope To see my Pilot face to- face
When have crossed the bar. -
Again and again "" have had uc-
casiOn tn repeat the ancient meas
urc rhunted when the foundations
Of the pyramids were being laid,
"Man gOeth to his long home and
the mOurners 90 about the streets. p"
Mr.. COifman was a faithful old
4 Southern Methodist, and two week :
ago filled his accustomed pew in the
church. During the winter, when
the clouds hung heavy, and the cold
winds swept through the streets, the
faithful old gentleman, with lantern
| in hand, made his way to the Tenn
! Pile to hear his much loved story of
the Master.
We that remain, gaze wistfully
across the deep, as one by one the
faithful older Christians drift away
beyond our touch and sight.
"rhcre is no death! The stars go
down
TO rise upon some fairer shore;
And bright in heavens jeweled
crown
They shine forevermore."
/ The girls have chance to enlist.
Much has been said about the ex-
cellency OF the Boy Scout move
ment, and now there IL n movement
on foot to organize the Boy Scouts
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1911-04-20
CARD OF THANKS.

w" desire to express our siucrrcst
thanks I" the many friends aud
neighbors who 50 kindly favored a.
with their sympathy and assistance
in the last illness aud at the funer-
nj Of our beloved husband and father.
May the good Lord suitably reward
their kindness
Mrs. MICHAEL KRIEG and sons.