The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-08-04

WJUUJ1sJ QuLIllUH
Or INTEREST T0P0BuG
And It came to pass in those days
that. city on the banks Of the NO.
nongahela, even the metropolis OF
Marion was afflicted with an inverte.
brate mayor eye, even without spinal
column, cord or marrow. And To-!
the weather Waxed warm in.the mid
die of summer, verify the ldes Of Au-
gust were rapidly approaching. Sc
lah. And on Tuesday night there was
a meeting Of council solemnly called
to order with due and ancient forms
and fashions by his majesty the fig
urehead mayor. And straightway
some faithful disciple arose and pro.
claimed to the august assembly that
all of the alleys and streets of the
city were gourged and choked, aye
even throttled and strangled by the
disreputable shacks of ''ltaly" even
as the streets Of Perieho after Gideon
ha.., D' on .ba thorongb fares Of me
LII Gitv whom rims razed all his
. .as ,og,,s. md ricteIodeons SeIah,
S a. Il oems tn nass that tbe fierre.
head mayor saw a great light-lumin-
Gus very-llke unto the light which
burnt the scales from the eyes of old
sanI ~ Torsns Then. snake His Hon.
90 n ,ansmsga vociferous punctuat.
"a r-,+h nrodictions dire and curses
a 81 IN snbstanee as follows:
k ItvPle tSo mavnr says pnto ali peo.
Et no tIo " trifas narties and fac,
t,ss, ayan u Toe naddeo ana Tony
n ISoLe, I'll nice-de.men from the
s aaes =, m Mediterranean. Every
spates ,, ~ sbaii straightway be
ob e.. and syery nre.occupied SPACE,
e aooSe va eorner and every fruIt.stand,
To- aSoashins h,Il.hnard bull.head and
t,inT hnbblo that stanfieth shall be
o St.sn tyith some sweet smelling
,t.tepoa ayen With gold dist and
sono1;o and n every Mace where thu
e,rsa ~ tba street formerly stoodeth
49, 80 ayo,, ueck the mavor. shall stand
80 nrocio;m a new tangled proclama,
tion toSwit that the streets Of our
o oi' ore owroJ hv the nublic and that
az same SbaiI mt he trespassed
,'nor bIoctodad or impeded TO the
.Jatrimenf NJ tbose who nav taxes and
5eFray' oil eynenses mo not by any
Son.oS-o'e,,r that was ever horn of q
woman selah
When his honor had thus discharg
al The snIeen of h;s liver to the great
dal,gh+ and sat;sfaction of the Mer
cbaTts' AssorIation a certain man Of
tbe trihe NJ Pathsheha stood I'M on his
nIace and uttered In substance. the
FoIIowine defamation: The fruit,
stands shoeShInes and skew.skaws
old iiame ana lnster TO all tbls great
citv ana the same should he contin
nod nernetmsIiv through ali genera
tions even IN the last great day In
the morning And 10 and bebold his
Honor was stricken with palsy ani
bis chattering teeth and confiictine
amotio5s flied the air with mmslc
weird and dIscordant Again tht
scaIes fell from the ewes Of the fg
.mrebead mayor and he proclaimed II
meekest 'contrition that he who hat
said last lad said hest and that hi,
Honor was tormerly mistaken: thai
none bnt a dolf mr. a fool couId hav,
chosen 10 mi the Daddeos ont of com
n,issIon And a Was Surther nIu
claimed bv his Honor the mayor tbat
all persons tribes and peoples-ta,
nayars woman and children excepteI
shonId AZ all future times be nern,it
ted to blockade the streets E1rnou
IeY or ,bjndrance ali which was hieh
" anproved by the council assembl,
and Il was unanimously decided tba
Toe Daddeo shouId have the mononol,
| ~ ohstn1cting tbe Yeager corner AM
| tbat ba shnnld buiId nvramIds AM
b. godas AZ mnch as he wanted am
hat ali ancIent Iiehts shonld no dark
eHeu lOFeVeF' y SARAH