Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1911-09-07
HE WOULDN'T
BE A HERO
By M QUAD
Copyright, 1911. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

Joe Harper was sturdy young farm
er. and Ellen Taylor was the daughter
of another, and they were engaged to
be married. All their friends said it
would be a sensible match. Joe was
given the credit of lots of horse
sense" and no one could say that the
young woman was bit frivolous.
That is. they couldn't until after a GER
tain girl friend Of hers from town had
made her three weeks visit and left
four or five novels behind her when
she departed.
Those novels were about heroes, cav
alters. cheyaliers and knights They
told Of perils, cOmbats and rescues.
Mrs Taylor would have chucked them
into the stove had she found them and
boxed her daughters ears besides. but
she didn't find them. They were read
at night after the rest of the family
was asleep BY the time she had fin
ished the second one the girl was look
ing askance at Joe. He was sunburn-
ed and freckled; his ears were rather
large; instead of saying prithee, he said
Try gosh, Ia all the novels the cheva-
Tiers had plumes in their hats; Joe
didn't even wear hens feather In
his old straw He had hoe on
his shoulder instead of lance. and he
plowed corn with an old feabitten
mare instead of riding around on an
Arabian steed.
n dnSt cir for CHI
compared to the chevalierS.
In the meadow. near the field where
Joe was blowing corn colony Of
humble bees had taken up their quar-
tiers in a tuft of grass. This fact was
known to the Taylor family. and the
farmer intended to rout them out some
evening. Bundle bees are not cheva.
lierS. but they are the next thing to it.
At O'Clock one afternoon. when it
was seen that Joe and the old mare
were hard at work. Miss Ellen put on
her bonnet and walked out to that
bumblebee caucus. At five feet from
1T she halted and screamed and danced
around
The scream reached Joe Harper's
ears. and he let go of the pillow handles
and made for the fence. In an instant
he realized the situation, but he didn't
dash forward and fall over several
Stumps. Instead of SO doing he sat on
the fence and called out:
ELLEN. why in thunder don't you run
away"
"Oh, the humble beesi" she shouted.
Eyes. but don't stand there like an
idiot. Make for the house"
A week had passed and the stings
had been cured. when Joe got another
chance. At 2 O'Clock one afternoon
Miss Ellen sat on the veranda sewing
and wondering how Joe would look in
armOT and on horseback. when she
caught sight Of a big dog coming along
the highway on the gallop She
screamed for Joe again. He dropped
his hoe and came running. but paused
as he reached the fence to ask what
was the matter.
Mad dog. Mad dog" she shouted,
Then climb up that ladder on to the
roof Of the Kitchen"
No rushing TO the rescue. no beating
the dogs brains out. no remarks worth
leaving to pOSterity. Miss Ellen was
furious with him. That was the reason
a rung OF the ladder broke as she was
descending and precipated her on an
ashheap Within an hour the chevalier
of the hoe received word that he need
never show up n the Taylor house
again The engagement WAS off
NOW took at that" he exclaimed
when he had been made to understand
"There was that ladder handy 10 climb
] saw the dog coming and knew ii be-
longed TO Perkins Was there any
need for me 10 break my other suS-
pender? And il it had been Il real
mad dog would it have helped the case
any for both of us to have been bit
ten?"
Joe stayed Gway. He had been told
TO and he obeyed At the end of two
weeks he took Il day off to go fish
ing. Miss Ellen heard through her
brother that he was going. and she
made Il little plan. She had GOT over
being mad ut the MAJ who wouldn't
be heroic In fact, she wanted to
make up" She would 30 a-tiShing
too. She wouldn't fish for fish. but for
Joe Harper The lover or other and
happier DAYS was fishing from a shady
bank when she came INTO view. but
he was on the other side of the stream,
He watched ner walk ont on Il strand
ed log "nd SAID 10 himself:
If she gets n bite ana Jerks up her
pole she'll sure 20 off that log,
Two minutes later the thing hap
pened There was nihhIe. Jerk and
a SuuSe and after the SouSe Il yell
for Joe. He had been seen The water
was only about three feet deep. and
as the girl. gained her feet after the
souSe she was called to:
Don't get skeart. Elem
''Oh. Joe-.Ioe"
You can wade ashore easy enough"
Joe, / shall-Shall"-