davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-22
BOWSER Is SAD.
Spring Brings Him fearful RecoIIec-
tiOnS

Mr.. Bowser had come home in a
cheerful state of mind, and nothing
unusual had been noticed in his ac-
tions until an hour after dinner. Then
he began to hitch around in a nervous
way, and finally said:
Seems to me it's going to rain to-
night
1.-The stars were out half an hour
ago." replied Mrs Bowser.
81 think I'll go out and see"
He put on his hat and passed out,
and was gone 10 minutes, and re-
turned to say:
Eyes. the stars are out. but I was
sure it was going to rain
Ee picked up the paper and read
for a quarter of an hour. Then he be-
gan to hiteh again.
care you sitting on a tack?" asked
Mrs Bowser, who had an eye on him.
mo, of course not. Do you take me
for a fool
''But you seem nervous"
''Well, am. I believe we are going
to have a thunderstorm. You know 1
always have these nervous fits on
when there's thunder in the air."
ST never heard of it before"
ooh, you didn't? Well, there's a
good many things you never heard of
before If there's thunderstorm
coming up, I want to knew 1t
He went down the hall and outdoors
again. and it was 10 minutes before
he returned.
ST don't hear any thunder" observ-
ed Mrs. Bowser.
There isn't any, he replied, "but
the weather has a peculiar influence
on me this evening.
The house settled down to peace and
harmony again. but not for long. or
a sudden Mr.. Bowser began to g1ggle
like a schoolgirl, and then cried out:
"By George, that's funny! Funniest
thing I've read in 10 years-ha, ha,
hal"
what is it?" was asked, and as
Mrs. Bowser put the query she noticed
that his face was growing red.
Man in Boston was walking along,
and another man asked him for a
match-ha, has hal
what else?"
Nothing else. Man just walking
along and another man asked him for
a match. Think of it, Mrs. Bowser-
Man comes right up to another man in
Boston and asks for a match"
''The weather does seem to have a
strange effect on you. You had better
go out and see if there are any signs
of cyclone"
"I will, dear I guess that's what's
the matter. Yes, I guess there's a
regular old cyclone coming"
For the third time he PASSED out of
the front door. Mrs. Bowser tiptoed
to the parlor window, whence she
could get a view of the front steps, and
she saw him descend and pick up a
Jug and raise it to his lips and take a
hearty swig. He had evidently left
the jug out there when he came from
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-22

ing and that there were innumerable
opportunities for the display of orig
inaIity may be judged from the fact
that all the scenes are laid in Havana,
Cuba.
Seven years before the story begins,
Samuel Nix, bos'un of the yacht Wasp,
has visited this port, where he mar
ries Cuban belle. He deserts her a
few hours after the ceremony. The
Wasp returns to this harbor and it is
with fear and trepidation that Nix en-
tiers the town. His strange actions
cause him to be mistaken by a party
of revolutionists as one of their own
and he is made to attend their secret
councils. While in attendance upon
this meeting, the police break in and
arrest him as the ringleader. and he
is sentenced to be shot.
Meanwhile, his wife has discovered
an old law which says that if a hus-
band desert his wife for a period of
seven years, he may be declared dead.
Therefore, as Nix has been away for
can not be shot. In this manner his
wife wins him back, greatly to the sur
prise and amusement of Nix.
The role of Nix gives Mr.. Powers
wide range for his abilities as a clever
entertainer, so it may be assumed that
the fun is we'll looked after. Then
there are the captivating little Hello
wherever they go.
Novelty.
The vaudeville bill booked to open the
Novelty Monday matinee April "a will
have as a headline act Hall, Coburn &
Co. in a sensational character playlet,
made Good" This is the first ap-
pearance of this act in Topeka. 1t has
been featured all over the entire time
of the the Western Vaudeville Mana
gers association. Next will be Brock
man & Gross, two young ladies, sing
ing and character change comedians.
The Musical Fredericks presenting
comedy and music Malone and Malone,
eccentric and acrobatic dancing. Ruth
Fletcher will sing the illustrated song
and new moving pictures will close the
bill.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-22

Grand tonight, has given Mr.. Turner
even greater opportunities than in
David Harum.' In this new comedy
Mr.. Turner IS seen in the character of
an old. wool merchant, in love only
with his two boys. Country bred, but
living in the city, where he has
amassed a fortune, he has always led
the most circumspect of lives He
does not go out nights-that might be
a bad example for the boys. He does
not spend money-the boys might
need it when they grow up. The boys
come home from college. one with a
mania for athletics, the other obsessed
for society, and soon father is politely
informed that he is "away behind the
procession" This starts the parent
thinking and results in his determine
ton to give the boys an object lesson
by getting out and circulating a lit
tie on his own account 1t is at this
point that Mr.. AIDE has given Mr.
Turner ample opportunity to let loose,
and the boys-to use a street phrase
get theirs" Once started, father can
not be restrained, neither can his sons
keep pace with him. After a merry
and convivial whirl, the parent con-
sents to wait awhile until the others
"catch up" By this time the boys
have well learned their lesson. 1t is a
merry play and Mr.. Turner has called
to his aid most capable company, in
Guiding among others Miss Edith
Yeager.
The features of 1.-The Midnight Sons"
the musical play which Lew Fields will
send to the Grand Tuesday night, con-
sists of pretty nearly everything ever
presented or promised for a musical
comedy production. The Midnight
Sons" with George w. Monroe as it's
principal feature, was first produced al
the Broadway theater and ran there for
thirty-eight weeks. 1t soon became the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-22

"I guess there's no danger
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-22

the office. She was back in her chair
when he returned, and she quietly
asked:
"Well, does the weather look cy
c1onish ?''
swered. Never saw such queer wealth
er. We may be going to have an
earthquake. Oh, we'll, if it comes, it
will GOMEZ
1t was to be noticed that Mr.. Bow
ser's hilarity had departed. He picked
up the paper again and turned it over
and over but laid it down with long
drawn sigh and pathetically said:
Mrs. Bowser, 1 should commit sui
eide If you was killed in an earth
quake surely Shouldi"
G'T ouasS there's NO danger"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-22
MIDNIGHT IN THE ozaRKs

and yet sleepless Hiram Scranton, of Clay
City, ILL.,, coughed and coughed. He was
in the mountains on the advice of five
doctors, who said he had consumption.
but found no help in the climate, and
started home. Hearing of DR.. Kings New
Discovery, he began to use it. II believe
it saved my life" he writes, "for 1t made
new man of me. so that I can now do
good work again." For all lung diseases,
coughs, colds, la grippe, asthma, Group,
whooping cough, hay fever, hemorrhages,
hoarseness or quinsy, its the best known
remedy. Price SOC and $LO0. Trial bottle
free. Guaranteed by Campbell Drug Co.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-22

contents poured out. 1t was pure
water.
Mr.. Rowser looked at Mrs. Bowser
with hardened eyes and said:
eff our cook has got so that she has
to keep a jug around you let her go.
What can the neighbors think of us to
see a jug sitting at the basement
doori'-(Copyright, 1911, by Associ-
ated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-22
NEGROES Not After railroad.

Tuskegee. Ala. April 2'.-Fhe re-
port which originated yesterday in
Dallas that Booker T. Washington and
number of wealthy northern negroes
would try to gain control of the Inter
national & Great Northern road was
denied here today by Emmett J. Scott
private secretary to the negro educa-
tor. According to the report, they
were to try to buy controlling inter
est in the road at the receivership sale
In Palestine, Tex, on May 10.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-22
o. AT THE ~
THEATRES
COMING ATTRACTIONS.

At the Grand.
Tonight-Wm. H. Turner in Father
and the Boys
Observation-Disclosures Sons.
Friday-Westerga Becker wres-
Ting match.
Tuesday. May Grace Van Stud
diford
Wednesday, May S-James T.
Powers.
Majestic.
North Stock company in "Why
Smith Left Home"
Novelty.
Vaudeville.
1t is only necessary to bark back a
Few seasons to the laughter and mirth
evoked by that clever character come
dian, William H. Turner from David
Harum," the "hoss" trader. 1t was
then thought that Mr.. Turner was at
his best, but this was reckoning with
out George AIDE, who, in Father and
the Boys" which plays again at the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-22
Majestic.


'T,augh and the world laughs with
you; weep and" but what's the
use weeping? Life is too short; enjoy
II therefore while you may. George
Broadhurst wrote. why Smith Left
Home" to drive away dull care; as a
sort of antidote SO to speak for the
"blues." North Bros Stock company
will produce the bright, crisp comedy
success at the Majestic next week be-
ginning Monday evening. According to
press and public in cities where 1t has
been produced why Smith Left
Home is three acts of mirth produc-
ing incidents and situations of humor-
o,Is nature. The complications follow
Zach other so rapidly that there is
hardly breathing room between laughs
The entire strength of the company
will be in the cast. in roles congenial-
MANY elaborate gowns will be worn,
notabla among which will be that of
the latest Partisan creation: an i'm NJ
provement on the much talked OF OF
he worn by Miss Russell in the third
act of why Smith Left Home is
Known as the "Harem gown" The
usual 1natinees will be given
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
Our Grocery Clerk
Says, Keep 1t Dark

II you want the women to buy any
thing, just give EN- the impression that
you're trying to keep it away from
them.
That's the nobby principle the boss
worked on in getting rid of two dozen
boxes Of Kisko Kisko is a breakfast
food, a new one, and this worlds no
place for new breakfast foods, al
though Kisko sounds pretty good, don't
II. Yum Kisko!
We started things by tacking a big
sign, "Kisko," right where it would
stab everybody in the eye. OF course
each inquisitive little shopper would
pipe, whats Kisko?
"Oh, just a new breakfast food" we'd
say will you have any cheese today?"
Do you get it? The customer would
see at a glance-oh, they're sharp, those
customers-that We were trying to keep
something from them, and they'd in
sist on handling a box of Kisko to see
for themselves. Then we'd admit how
good 1t was, and the result is, good-by
Kisko.
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
ACCORDING TO SAMMY

III take the cook. to, Il that will help
me eny, sed pop.
This moarning ma sed to pop at brek-
tUst, I'm glad yure tooth don: AXE eny
moar. How !awng do you think the
dentist viii! take to pull 1t out. or
korse you still intend to 60 20 the den-
lists. she sed. and pop sed, OF korse, I
do.
go aftir brskfust I went with pop
to the dentists.
Good moaning. sed the dentist, and
pop Sed Good moarning, and the den
tist sed. Wat can I do for you this
nloarning.
Id like to have I meen ] Jest kalled
erround to ses IL owed you eny mory,
sed pop.
Nuthing Else
No, sed the dentist, I'm sorry. but
don't think you do. Nuthing else, he
sed. and rop sed, Nuthing else.
Now you can go hoam, Sammy, and
wen yure mothir asks you II maid
eny noize wen the dentist pulled my
tooth, you can Jest say no. You dideat
heer me make eny noize, did you
No 1 sed, and pop gave me a dime,
and sed, Don't spend 1t awI in 1 plase.
And I went hoam and ma sed, Did
yure fathir make eny notze, and I ssd,
No.
The Washington times., 1911-08-11

Pop had a orfull toothake last nIte.
hawking up and down the setting
room floar and saying. oh, and iH1s :s
orfull, and kant stand this.
Does 1t hert so mutch, sed ma.
Oh, no, sed pop, It don't hert. It feels
CRATE, might say It's a plezure, he
sed, and Id Ike to nave like it evry
MITE.
Its yure own fawlt. sed ma. You
sed you was going to have it extractid
tie last time It hert you. and then you
got cold feat and now you han TO sufrir
for IT,
To the Dentists
I'm going to the dentists tomorrow
furst thing, sed pop. weather the tooth
axes or not. I don't kare II its never
going to AXE agen, I'm going to have
the dentist pull 1t out, and then Ill be
sure III nevir have anuthir mite like
this. Oh, this is orful, hs sed. Meen-
ing the tooth.
Do you mean that about going to the
dentist. sed ma.
OF korse l meen It, sed pop, do you
think I'm tawking to heer myself speek.
and ma sed, Well. then, you'd bettir
take Sammy with you ss an er1dents Of
good faith.
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
Reddy Smith Chats On
An Erring Mother

Nav, Jimmie, uh feller can't git
uhlong If his mudder is goin' tn be
naggin' him all de time.
Dere's uh feller dat goes thru de
square every day dat has dat kin NV
uh mudder, an try as he might tu
shake hur foolish ideas, she arays
blunders uhgain, which puts him in uh
bad way.
Every position he ever held he's lost
jes because his mudder persisted In
writin to his employers an asktn' dem
tn let him off tn do sumpin' fur hur.
An she never tol' him ahbout it furst!
Nav. she'd ,jes go uhhead in hur own
foolish way an write to his boss at uh
time when he was needed de mos, an
den de boss 'ud tell him. ''Yu can go,
but yu needn't come back" Oats de
way he alays got 1t, an it all wurked
wldout him KNOWN anything uhbout It.
Uh mudder can love an pet hur boy
all she wants when he's wild hur, jim
mie' but after he leaves hur an goes
to fight de wurld himself, den it's time
fur hur tn forget dat he can't do every
thing she wants.
l tells yu it's uh shame, but what are
yu goin' tu do when yu got uh mudder
like dat?
The Washington times., 1911-08-11

of burden of the modern woman!" you
cry, triumphantly.
And your remark completely knocks
over his equilibrium. Your utter irrele-
vancy makes a mental smudge Of his
ideas. What has he said about want
ing you to be a slave? Who cares
about living with a human cow or DON
key? What do you mean. anyway?
Then he gets mad. And he delivers
his aching mind Of one or two small
burdens that are pressing painfully into
1t like bad filings on live nerves. He
says he does not see why he has to
The Washington times., 1911-08-11

told him in a strained voice which she
tried in vain to keep impersonal.
I:'s no funnier than your shirt
waist" he returned evenly. "Ha. ha!
it's no funnier than your shirtwaist."
Silence reigned for minute. After
its brief reign she spoke:
William" she said, we must face
the truth. I fear we are seeing too
much of each other. Spring no vulgar
remarks about bathing suits, please.
but let me finish. 1 feel that we should
separate for a year. II during that
time our old feelings surge back I will
listen to the wedding ring"
For year" he said, and, taking
his hat. departed
After three days both died OF broken
hearts. And the moral is Stick to it."
The Washington times., 1911-08-11

eenters the days chief eventBen dinner only fitting
ton In the winter time he lacked nothing of being perfect this
score
His right the dot and his interest made
engaging from
dh office nigh nights m MY y things G smell dns mice out % srf r ov 1 my %
the importance of Mrs Harris housekeeping and of Mrs Harris
S the Hsrt
No Enthusiastic Cooperation
with the arrival of Ben wife noticed change No
R @ home the Se n 6 Du of the ms R
pena cleaned brightest was very
seldom ON now home when m it was ready Day after day Mrs. Hart
porch watch by
his Dns 5aPs no onss 9 5 id % Bsn oRn 1 hs of y h @ h s n of
keep her Company % with cigarette smoked on Rts the ktchn
tears very plain repoach You're
in E G9n YOU e os @ nome m % on w You at fasht B & h tram ,n
this isn't your busy season noT I'm just getting tired Of trying to
food all spoiled from drying in the oven No. I'm going
things what do to stay downtown to watch baseball
NO. guess don't want understsnd When it comes to s pTopos
On where would rather watch old baseball than
Personal Grievance
"1n argued that Ben's waning
destsd waning Of the mpoTsne her place his life and his
epeatea taIdy & became t gevnIe tnat re-
after evening for Then the date tennis sub
esIy wont Ben. do and # late ven
live down the oPprobrm his conduct had 1 be
Ben But the house locked and his wife
vestsatoP showed the dinner table set for two o. and Mrs Harris
where she had racked his brain some
starting obviously
he WR the e'd t @ | you
We'll nowr know gacelessly
his the porch
and asked o along.
Went Ball Game
81 didn't know where they going but l
and when got there it to ball and
life Mr. Harris
when won-there
kept h R | IFS o s mad s sa play
evenings broken for listening
enthusiastic much jumbed detailed
evening Ben late again Mrs walked
o him. Hello, said
hint of her dinners ready What's
scorer"
"John Alexander" my husband smiling sheep
gathering dusk Old
I making home ae!" "Wel" he
guess up you camel"
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
SIZE HOLDS 1T UP TO THE
GADABOUT

work all day and come home to n dark
house and later poor dinner.
And then, with the colossal effrontery
of the gadabout. you actually offer the
tabulated list of your engagements as
an excuse for taking so much time TO
mind social business that there IL none
left for your own private and particu-
lar domestic business.
You tell him that you had n luncheon
date. You add that the Soul Expanding
Society met and you had to read a
paper. You amend to that a description
of the tea that Mrs. Pusher gave after
the meeting. And you conclude by bra
zenly assuming credit for not accepting
point our your self-sacrificing spirit in
coming home AT ALL
A Coating of Brass
You weak-minded, strong-limbed CAD
about, your brain Is incased in a coat
ing of brass. But here Is a thought
that I shall beat into your comprehen-
sion with the hammer of hardest words
I know.
The home from which you run. the
house to which you give too little at
tention, is the REASON why people
give such a feather-h headed giddy-pate
as you are CHANCES TO BE A CAD
You Just neglect II a while
longer, as you are doing now! Just
outrage the home-loving nature Of your
husband a few more months or years
till he resolves not to pay such a high
price for WHAT HE DOES NOT GET.
Drive him to abandon the home, as you
have already almost done! When you
find yourself without the home you
have abused and neglected, whose serv-
ice you have called slavery, see II you
are invited! Your home is your social
capital 1t will go hard with you when
you are bankrupt and the GADD1NG
are all withdrawn!
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
Loretta's Looking Glass

x1OU are a social hobo. You can no
Y more stay at home than a tramp
can locate and become a respect
able citizen. Your house to you is a
point of departure only. Your arrival
there Is pretty apt to be a sign that
every ones else is closed and you HAD
to come back to your own.
Maybe It is the newest form Of wan
deriust. But 1t In mighty disagreeable
for the ones who share the home with
you, but not the feeling. Your nomadic
desires make you utterly forgetful Of
the fact that your husband likes to
find you at home when he comes. If
he makes an effort to introduce such
an idea among your cravings for CAD
ding, you fling at him the toplofty as
sertion. Woman is no longer a slave"
He scratches his head and tries to
think what he has said that warrants
the dramatic declaration.
A Peculiar Metamorphosis
You see, mere man will probably
never reach the point where he can
see any sanity in the belief that the
home he and the girl he marries have
dreamed of sharing, about which they
have planned, for which he has worked,
undergoes a peculiar metamorphosis, in
the estimation OF the girl. when she has
it. He keeps on working for it. The
world is full of men doing that every
day and not bowling about 1t as If I'M
kind fate had imposed on them. The
gadding germ was in you before he
married you. But 1t was not malig-
nant then. Your mother looked after
the house where you slept and took
your meals. But now, every time your
husband feels that something is out of
joint and tries to tighten up the loose
screw, you emphasize the fact that
women are emancipated."
You can't make drudge and a beast
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
Thought of Sales

Mrs. Bargandy Cat ball game)-
Dear me! What a miserable little hit
that is! He ought to be ashamed of
himself
Bargandy (excite6y)-Why, you
marbletop, that's a sacrifice!
Mrs. Bargandy-O-o-oh! And Is that
why SO many players rushed to it?
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
Had Heard Herself

He (at the concert)-Miss Shreeker
says she is always nervous when she
attempts to sing in public.
She-Well, I'm not surprised. She
has heard herself before.
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
Broken Hearts, Two;
Or, There's a Moral

Th5' ~"lt quite bitter towards each
othe ugh both tired conscientiously
to cCI,-eal it. They had been engaged
only four years.
Your nscktie strikes me funny" she
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
A Detective

Mr.. Losem-Pve found those cufi
buttons 1 thought were stolen.
Detective-What a pity. / had such
a good clue to the thief.
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
Kept His Word

"I thought you told me these lots
would be double in value in two
years, and here's a man offering me
exactly what gave for them"
Yes; but you forget you gave twice
as much as they were worth"
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
For Prohibition

She-I will have no smoking in thi.
house. Do you understand?
He-Yes; please extend this prohi.
bition to the stoves.
The Washington times., 1911-08-11

asked stamps prob get
three for FIVE.
Somehow other double plated copperyeed brabound
always with poene like Chare but
what he there's somePn about like Charles
simply can't resist and don't realize ought "a turned him
down until you've given him what he asked for.
The End Seat Hog and Poteness
Charlie holds patent only system getn
late him. bein confounded
the time like bad refuse him Charles the ony
end hog know that with grac and consider
that the final test
"Oh, this really bad you know beg your pardon;
sorry, he'll tell the and crippe while they're
Clnbn
they'll its all
begin pardon for disurbin' him.
Poteness do for than good looks money,
Belle Cultivate have the satisfaction O bn able
poke dypepc old the ribs and gin smile apology
Take in be able steal babys
bottle gracefy that the idl hand bib
accord.
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
How Ii Happened

Cook has only broken one plate to.
day"
"Hooray! How did 1t happen7"
TT was the last one in the house" "
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
The Harts
and the
National Game
Adventures
Married Life
I'M

NJ" said the Little Old Lady; "wifely objections to
some particular matrimonial failing half the time
springs not from dissatisfaction with the failing
ITSELF but from failure to understand the cause
of it. Filling the latter condition resolved sum-
mer time failing of Ben Harris into new source
of mutual interest for them both
at was like this" continued the Little Old
Lady. THE Harts aren't very much past the
perimental stage of housekeeping. Untarnished by
long familiarity the lessening effect of habit the
importance of her housekeeping and the details of
her home making supersede everything else in Mrs.
The Washington times., 1911-08-11
Sure StickerS to
Humorous Minds
ENGLISH Joke FOR TODAY

Men don't know what women are
WORTH" says Miss Layard.
Perhaps not. It is quite sufficient to
know what they cost.-The Pink 'Un.