Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-09-28
RULES OF

~ IL NJ !"
If YOU want to get in wrong, right at
the start, walk up to your hostess n
tell her, pleasantly. that she is look ing
younger every year. You will have to
wear your overcoat and ear muffs the
rest of the evening to keep from being
frost bitten.
Never ask for another SQUAD, be-
cause there is generally only M for
each guest even i'm the most e%xtrava-
gan households.
1t is we'll to wear a red necktie for
they generally have tomato bouillon
and nothing is more out of place than
a few drops of bouillion on a tie which
doesn't match in color.
Always manage to be an hour to an
hour and half late. That makes
everybody feel good and lends a tone
of sarcasm to the conversation which
places each at his ease.
Never cat pie with a spoon or knife.
If it the soft sort of pie that leaks
through q fork. use a sponge.
THE CORNER STORE PHILOSO-
PHER.
He is a grave authority whom none is
able to dispute.
He always has the last word on diplo-
macy. finance and fruit.
He reads the paper every day, the pa
per that he does not buy;
You cannot catch him w and it
10 AK NiaISC W t4Ns
His able dissertations are the wonde
of the grocery store.
IT is a wonder how one man can hoard
sue a wealth of lore.
He can tell Taft just how the mighty
ship of state should Always run.
Things would be going smoothly il he
were just down in Washington.
He is u patriot clear through and
waiting for his country's call;
The problems of the nationas are to
him nc mystery at all.
He knows just what the power should
do in every crisis of the day.
But somehow it is seldom that they
figure out the thing his way.
No one has ever seen him do a single
thing that looked like work.
His post is at the grocery store. a job
he is never known to shirk.
He charges nothing for advice. but
peddles it with lavish hand,
And how he gets three meals q day
may seem quite hard to under
stand
Until the secrets Of it known and
then it seems an easy way
A gentleman of leisure he. His wife,
she works out by the day.
-
OUR IDEAS.
OF q swell Matchmaking cooped
up in a 4x6 hall bedroom over the
kitchen at a resort hotel.
OF a paramount issue-Whether we
get up first to light the fire.
Of a good job to stick to-Working
OF a victim of circumstances-Red-
headed man with wart on his nose and
hair lip.
OF circumstantial Johannesburg a
man comes out of a saloon with a long
round parcel under his arm.
OF a waste of time-Waiting for
something to happen to the high cost
Of living.
OF a high honor-Being asked to sit
on the platform at a political meeting
and wear a badge.
OF a wise Notwithstanding your
own cigars to an evening smoker.
THE SUPREME TEST.
Mother has a patient name
And her talks discreet,
And her dispositions ever
What you would call sweet.
Very little that a happen
Will disturb her mind,
And she has a reputation
For q heart most kind.
You cannot U her temper
over issues small,
And it sometimes seems as though She
Can't get mad at all.
She is calm, serene and hopeful:
Has a cheerful Word,
And she looks upon all worry
AS a thing absurd.
But there's one thing that will get he,
Once In every year.,
And when that comes 1t Is v
Safe to linger near.
For she surely goes to pieces
And reverses form
In a manner that presages
A domestic storm.
Then she voices her opinion
And we'd hate to tell
Just the 1 Of talk she gives US
When her jell won't jell.
AUTOMOBILE ETIQUETTE.
Never borrow your neighbours auto.
mobile on Sunday. for that Is h da,