davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28
H. E7 ! & 4nazu14| 8 &c: !: i g: A

had themselves served up in soup tureens
at a dinner and we're very devilish.
But nothing of the sort happened. |
kept expecting them to throw food at one
another, at least.
After dinner somebody sang and the men
were very attentive to me, and nearly
all Of them asked IL they could see me
home | left at half-past ten, when Mar
garet called for me, and l couldn't help
confiding in the incest man, who told me
he was an actor, that l thought II little
duh. l asked him IL he didn't think some
body would do something exciting, and
he said Mr.. de Braggi would have fit at
such a suggestion, and was frightfully
particular, and nearly choked a man to
death once who threw an olive at his wife,
The next day Johnnie and l had a fight.
He said l should never have gone and
that he was amazed that / should have
thought OF such a thing. He said he pre-
ferred not to know people who behaved
in rowdy manner himself.
I went to a dinner at the Splashterbets
last night and all of Johnnie's best and
dearest friends were there.
When the Ices were placed on the table
Jack Danvers put his hand in his plate
and, taking up some OF his ice put It all
over Freddie Splashterbelts head Then
Edith Gaylord spread hers on the seat Of
Freddie's chair when he stood up TO pour
champagne down the back Of Jacks collar.
He sat down in it, and he did look mussy
when he jumped up again.
He and Freddie threw branded cherries
at Edith after that, and they certainly
could aim. Then they put what was left
of the ice cream on her hair. Luckily she
was able to take most of 1t off and have
one Of the walters remove It to the dress
ing room Agnes and Johnnie both agreed
afterward that 1t was the smartest dinner
of the season.
But l can't understand why he should
object to the deBraggis.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28

Johnnie is nicer than anyone most of the
time, but l must say l can't understand
hts ideas about some things. We have
had an awful fight, and it is going to be
a long while before l forgive him for say
ing ] have no discrimination, and that l
ought to have a nurse to go around with
me- I believe my judgment is as good as
his. think Mrs. de Braggi is perfectly
beautiful. / met her at tea, and she was
so nice to me, and introduced her husband,
and begged me to call, and said she lived
in studio.
She had such wonderful yellow hair and
the most marvellous complexion. Her
cheeks had such a delicate pink in them.
/ thought II was awfully interesting, her
living In a studio, and l asked her IL she
painted. / couldn't see what l had said
that was wrong, but Johnnie turned his
back, and she looked dreadfully frritated
felt as though l had made a serious mis-
take and told her / was sorry II l had
seemed curious, but l had felt sure she
must. She looked perfectly furious, and
Johnnie was evidently choking on a sand
witch, with his back stin turned. 1 was
sure he was laughing at me, so / said ia
as dignified a way as possible, that / had
seen some pictures Of kittens sitting in a
hat and had thought they were signed
with her name, and when she said she
lived in a studio, l thought she must be
the artist.
She got very good natured again, then,
but said she didn't paint anything, and
asked me to come to dinner she was GO
ing to give. I accepted Immediately, as /
thought 1t sounded most attractive.
On the way home / was going to tell
Johnnie of 1t, but he was so disagreeable
when I spoke Of her that decided not TO.
Cousin Anne went out of town the day be-
| fore the affair, so I did not mention II to
! her, as 1 was afraid she might be disagree
able about poor Mrs de Bragg, too
Strange as IT may seem, l have dlscov-
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28
Undoing of Mr.. Uplift
BY LAFAYETTE PARKS

perceive that Boston has started
school where men are gaught how to feed
and take care of babies" remarks Uplift
with note Of approval in his voice in
Nended to impress young Mr. Uplift with
the desirability OF such knowledge
Has anybody here seen Brooklyn?"
hummingly queries Son, with the attitude
of one who believes that a mistake has
been made on the part Of the founders OF
the new institution. VI suppose lesson No.
1 win be to show The kids how TO put away
those famous baked beans"
1T seems TO me that there is need for
knowledge OF this sort on the part of men
everywhere" declares Father.
Believe me, Pop asserts Son, the
little school stunt that ought to be pulled
off In every town is a place TO teach the
skirts how to feed us grown men three
square meals a day. II some OF these
philanthropic guys viii put up the cash
for a scheme like that I'll be ready to vote
'em a neat tombstone when they kick In. 4"
IF husbands understood the care Of in
fants," resumes Father. tired mothers
might be able to get away from their duties
once in a while"
III hubby learned how to tuggle the kids
wtth0at cracking their cocoRnuts," ven
lures Son, you can take IL from me that
NN1N
flat the minute the boss showed up from
his work at night The happy father with
three or four bright offsprings would have
to learn to work q cradle with one foot
feed another kid out OF a bottle keeping
the others amused and entertained by va
rious circus stunts guaranteed by the col
lege TO prevent the plain Wild variety OF
boy from wrecking the flat"
The man that knows all about chill
dren is great aid to his wife" remarks
Father.
In passing around the medals" reminds
Son, please don't forget the kind and low.
ing papa who thinks he knows all about
Kids He says he's a great help TO the
Missus also and the way he throws Out
his chest when giving orders to his four,
year-old hopeful you'd think he was the
whole Incubator. But one word from hin
and / notice the small boy usually does
as he pleases. II anybody can spot the
hot air artist quicker than the up-to-datC
kiddo' no hasn't sent in his name and ad-
dress yet to yours truly"
Scientific training Of children lie a very
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28
Some Silhouettes of the Sidewalk
BY BOBBIE BABBLE.

Soul Of true leisure spirit OF repose,
strolling unhurried in a world Of haste
Hail him with shouts as unperturbed he
goes,
Lettering in paths where lesser men have
raced.
Not his to hurry. nay. not his to fly;
Life is too full of fascinating things
I,ured by diversions as he saunters by
This Mercury forgets his feet have
wings.
The tariff needs revision-what cares he?
Women demand the vote-he heeds them
not .r".
The market is as bearllke as can be-
Shall that disturb our Johnny-on-the
Spot?
Let men impatient wait the news he bears
If It be mournful, twill arrive too soon;
II it be cheerful, well and good. Who
cares7
Twill serve at shutdown or at rising
moon.
Hark! How his speech goes straightway
to the point:
Hey, Bin l got a tip on dat thoid
race.
l met Live One In downtown Joint,
Who SEES to play Pink Domino for place.
What are you playin? Messenger? No
good.
He falls asleep, dey say, inside mile.
His feet are iron and his legs are wood.
Just back Gunpowder, an ven blow yer
pile!
NAV I can't stop 10 chin wild YOU all
day.
1 got a job-one o. dem escort games
To take two ladies to de matinay,
An den explain de city to de danes
It's funny work! Dey are de kind dat say,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28
Where We Got Our Hair

Tails, plaits, coils, twists canoes, tou-
pees, curls, fringes, cappettes, frames,
transformations, empire puffs, chignons OF
curls, Grecian clusters and 'rats'-these
are few Of the aids to beauty of colffure
adopted by fashionable women of today.
Black hair comes from the south. and
light mainly from Germany. OF the Ger
man and French hair markets, where
peasant girls part with their glorious
tresses for a few francs, we have heard
before; but 1t would seem that much of
the hair that is created into rats" and
other monstrosities Of feminine fashion is
procured by other means,
The Chinese government, II is said. is
taking steps to stop what has been a
practice OF some OF the hair dealers Of
Canton, from whom large supplies Of black
hair are received in this country. This
practice is the gruesome one OF exhuming
corpses to secure the pigtails. Fashionable
ladies have often no idea where the hair
they are wearing comes from.-Philsdelphia
Inquirer.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28

did not know which way to turn.
You have no right to open a car win
dow IN January" he protested. you must
consider the comfort Of others You know
very well every other woman in the car
will object"
The Amateur wife turned in her seat and
looked at him And the winds that whistled
around the pole are not colder than was her
glance.
Il cant see why you should concern your
self with any other woman in this car but
your own wife," she observed. What
does It matter whether they freeze or not
III faint in another minute unless l get
some fresh air"
Wei. 1 can't open that window! You
are most unreasonable" declared the Post
Graduate Husband 81 can't lmperil the
lives OF whole csrful OF women just to
crafty one Of your whims!" he added
peevishly.
You ought to be willing to drown them
all II / wanted you to- answered the
Amateur wife, vehemently. But II you're
a frail cat, I'll do It myself l suppose you
fear that queer creature down there with
van load of false hair will catch coldr
Her Husband had not seen the vision so
described. but he was unwilling to admit
that he had missed IL.
III BOlnB 10 open the WINDOW, any
how" declared His wife. rebelliously, and
she suited the action to the word
The Post Graduate Husband frowned.
What you're doing is against the Jersey
law!" he exclaimed. And II you persist in
keeping the window open 1 won't answer
for the consequences"
His wife smiled. And to her Bewildered
Husband II seemed as IL every other woman
in the car smiled with her
The muffled old lady in front beamed
for the first time in several hours.
"Oh. thank you, dear" she murmured
and the other women in the car seemed
| similarly grateful
The Amateur Wife looked smilingly al
| Her Husband.
I'VE are all very grateful indeed" she
said, "all of us I'm sure. You see dear.
every woman in this car is a member OF
the Mountainville Fresh Air cIub!'
! Copyright. 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28
Blanketing a Brother

At the recent spnual dinner in New
York Of the Representatives club ian or
ganization composed Of the advertisement
soliciting forces of the leading monthly
and weekly publications. Rabbi Wise told
this story:
A party of ministers in a Pullman car
happened to have as their neighbors a
party of advertising men. The advertising
men talked shop necessarily and in such
loud tones that conversation among the
clergymen was impossible. When at last
a lulI came one OF the ministers, his eyes
twinkling, began a story. speaking care
fully, so that he would be overheard:
Last night" said he, Il dreamed that
was in heaven and was being shown
around by St. Peter When we had seen
most OF the sights st. Peter led us to a
mansion situated far away from anything
else. From It constantly issued the sound
OF boisterous talk
What place is this? ! inquired.
This is the home Of the advertising
men. replied st. Peter.
There was quite ten seconds, when an
advertising man snapped out:
Boys, / dreamed last night / was If
heaven and being shown around by ST
Peter. We came TO a palatial mansion
which was quiet as the grave.
What place is this?' I inquired.
This mansion is set aside for the min.
listers st. Peter replied.
But said l. its so quiet. There is NJ
life here.
" Oh, st. Peter responded quickly, non,
OF 'em has arrived yet metropolitan.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28
; . The 5ee8 H0me Magazine Page X
CA LITTLE SERMON FOR THE WEEK ENDS

mud no, Eu. N,v are wha, .. should
not be. But Christ wants us to thrive. to
live we'll lie wants TO make us happy
and peaceful II has been told us. Thou
win keep him in perfect peace whose mind
is stayed on Thee"
lie knows what Is best for us and wants
to give that to us. lie knows that II we
are left to ourselves we shall loiter al
most Invariably upon the dry and barren
hill tops, where there is nothing good
no stimulation for either body or soul.
Thus Christ calls us to Him to lead us
Alright. Truly we dare to say as David
once said, The Lord is my shepherd. l
shall not want lie maketh me to lie
down in green pastures lie leadeth me
beside the still waters. He restoreth my
soul lie leadeth me in the paths OF right
eousness for His names sake
And lastly Christ. our Good Shepherd,
calls us in the evening to lead us into the
fold When the shades begin to stream
across the sky; when the night OF life s
long day approaches when, perhaps, our
senses have become blurred. our eyesight
dim and deaths gloom hangs above us
in the near future. then Christ with a
welcome voice. comes to us and says
| Come unto Me all ye that are weary and
heavy laden and l will give you rest"
But what is the meaning of this call
in a more practical sense In this sense
It is a call of reparaton from the evil
of this world. II lis a call from the in
fluence of the flesh from sin, from cor
ruption. 1t is the call that came to Abra
ham in his early home at Mount Casdim
when God called him to make OF him u
great nation. Yes to make him the father
, of all the children Of Israel as well as
the father of all them that believed. II
is the call that came to St Paul when
he was stricken down PROSTATE upon the
ground while he was upon his way to
Damascus. 1t was the call that came to
him then that made him the apostle to the
Gentle world, In short it is a call to
conservation, to the blessed life with Jesus
Christ, even though He lived here upon
earth. 1t is call to service. 1t is a call
to work
The problem before US now is to deter
mine precisely where we are. II there
is any doubt in the mind, II there Is any
question as to safety and security. follow
the guide, Jesus Christ, a little farther
Go over the line with Him Ascend tc
the top, where you may be able to say
Il am Thine Oh, Lord l am Thine!
safe forever safe in the arms OF Jesus.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28

Text: My sheep hear my voice and J
know them. and they follow me" John
10.27
There Is. apparently at the present time
no definite line drawn between the Chris
tian and the non Christian. There seems
to be no line OF demarcation separating
the children Of Christ from those who are
not in his fold In the early history Of the
Christian church the line separating these
two classes Of persons was more clearly
recognized. To be a Christian then had a
greater significance than It has today.
Christians were then IN a minority They
were In the heathens hands To become a
! Christian often meant a sacrifice OF all
property, Of all future hope OF position.
fame and honor. It often meant a sacri-
flee OF personal liberty. 1t meant that at
any time the call might come to undergo
a martyrs death
Under such circumstances II is apparent
| that on one would enter the church OF
Jesus Christ save he who was truly called
| by the spirit Of God But after some time
the church became more prominent; the
conditions changed men could enter more
easily. and as time further progressed
Christianity in its external form took on de
| cided notifications. Mems minds began TO
/ differ I'm respect to some OF the doctrines
OF Christianity. They differed as to form.
Some became heretics. others became skep.
/ tics. Consequently we find these as wei,
as many other diverging tendencies H.
/ the Christian world today.
But what has been the result Of all this
/ Plainly this The lack OF precision. thu
| lack Of definteness I'm regard to DRAWN
/ this line between the children Of God ar
the children of this world tended to d,
| stroy the Christian standard Chrstiant
! does not mean to the world what 1t shoulC
! 1t has lost its par value To enter tn
! church now means to many a person very
| little more than to enter a lodge a club
or any other worldly organization. /.
would indeed be very difficult to namt
definitely and Enthusiastically those who be
long to Christ and those who do not belong
TO Christ. Nominal church membership
counts very little 80, taking the correc,
: $50. ::::;:::;::::::;:i.,lE:.5'R,;:;;;
so dom -, made To- show
you the per disposition or relation OF
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28

important problem in this present age"
gravely suggests Father Mothers as well
as fathers ought to be willing to learn all
they can about the best methods"
you can leave It TO the kids to tell the
old folks what they don't know about the
business" believes Son, Whenever a
fond father Is in doubt about the proper
dope for his son. all he needs TO do is to
ask the boy. I'm willing to bet real money
that no college win ever be able TO pick
the hot ones right off the bat like bright
kid"
The older children are probably able to
get along very well,' admits Father, but
we are now dealing with the care of
babies"
There's a bunch OF old ones that ought
to be in the infant class at that" observes
Son, AS for me, ! know two or three
swell little babies that I'd like to get a
few lessons on how 70 feed them an after
theater supper so l can get by for less
than five spot. Among us men there's a
crying need for inside information on this
subject. night school on some handy
corner along Broadway ought to do well
handing out tips on this proposition"
Among the various uplift projects, 90
AYERS Father, care Of the young appeals
to me as being one OF the most timely /
hope the married men will show their APP
| probation Of this new college"
Boston bachelors will probably flock 10
the new college in lunches" remarks Son,
and then go home and write books on the
| subject. In Brooklyn, Harlem, the Bronx
and other places where the babies come
from. married men are too busy taking
orders from their wives to waste time
| going to school,"
There Is tendency 10 overfeed chill
dren,' complains Father, especially among
/ fathers"
After little experience" replies Son
even a Brooklyn papa knows better than
/ TO let the kids eat the rubber plants and
| other bric-a-brac around the fiat Next 70
the playful goat, kids hold the record for
eating anything from golf balls to plug
chewing tobacco and getting away with H.
In most families q stomach pump would
make bigger hit than a college diploma. "
! Copyright, 1911, by the n. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28
Her Husbands Voice. DsquisitOn the Sei'hne's Of
by AMERE NAN the Woman Commuter.
BY AMERE NAN

On certain fearful winter morning.
when rain splashed in the open cutters OF
Mountainyille, and every worn flagstone
held swimming pool for sparrows, the
Amateur Wife decided she must 60 to
II TO order some new cards.
you'n wait for the 10 O'Clock train
I'll 20 in with you" she OBJ
hgrsciousiy TO the Post Graduate
Several M
ght." he agreed amiably for he
ware that the train she mentioned
as the 'Hen'ten' and was
HLAhs EUihe female shoppers on their way
counters.
Representatherefore with certain embar-
.lnd self-Consciousness that the
A9hfiate Husband found himself the
.,ef male in bevy OF suburban beauties
= shroute TO 4 Friday sale.
AT every station-and stations happen
every five city blocks-more women got
It seemed to him that his wife knew
everyone Of them and, worst yet, that she
vent out Of her way to make him know
them.
Before they got to Hoboken he had added
fifty women to the already swEIIen list Of
persons whose faces he would have to re-
member and TO whom he must forever
after lift his hat
oonflding to the Amateur wife that this
meeting with her local women acuuaint-
ances filled him with unmitigated dismay
In the first place she would not have be-
lieved' IT, and secondly, he was not then
sure Of Il himself. what chiefly concerned
him was that every window Of the car was
closed because OF the rain outside that the
steam heat was working overtime and
putting poisonous vapors throughout the
already sitting train wherein all the per-
fumes OF Araby, as well as those of Paris
and Cologne warred for supremacy
The Amateur Wife, whose virtues have
been mentioned frequently had one fault.
which, up to the present moment had re-
mained uncatalogued-she was a fresh air
fiehd!
oh" she exclaimed. as she sank into a
seat, some woman on this train has on
gardenias and she added accusingIy to
Her Husband" you know they always
make me illl'
well, dear" replied the Post Graduate
Husband, who greved at having TO
pok up from HIS morning paper, IT didn't
<rgive them to her. Don't blame mel'
= I'm simply dying OF suffocauon!' con-
tnued His wife, without noticing the in
terruption, "Why do women want to reel,
OF these saccharine funereal odors? Please
won't you let in some fresh air I don't
think / can breathe another minute in this
awful atmosphere"
The Post Graduate Husband turned ia
comply with His Wife's request and caught
baleful glare from elderly woman of
the old school who believes that even TO
open the windows OF the soul provokes
pneumonia
Wen get to Hoboken in a few minutes -
temporized Her Husband. 81 guess you'd
better stand It for a while longer"
HIS Wife, however. insisted on opening
the ear window and Her Husband who had
never been so surrounded by women before,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28

Where are de fast dives in dis awful
town.
[ take 'em over to some swell cafay,
Dey look an gasp, an wot l say goes
down.
'owot's dat? You got two blllboards for
de show?
All right! I'm wild yer-Tn be dere at
eight.
Dis week de boiesque is a peach, know;
De Barnyard Beauties in DE Garden
Gate
Hey Joe, wot way ye goin'? Riverside?
JUS take dis note fer me-yore woik il
slack.
Here's movin' pitchers I'll JUS step
inside
Yen find me waitin' here when you get
backl'
Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28
Women Conductors

They have women conductors on the
electric cars of Santiago, the capital of
Chile, This was made necessary by the
late war, which took so many men TO the
front, and Imposed upon women the work
usually done by men. The custom has been
kept up, the women having proved equally
as efficient as the men had been.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28
Daily Health Hint

Employers should insist on thorough ven
tiiation OF their work places II only for
selfish reason, because their employees can
not possibly develop their fun efficiency
when they are starved for lack OF oxygen.
This, again, naturally leads 10 a craving
for stimulants-tea, coffee, alcohol OF some
thing OF that kind.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28

cred that she and Johnnie think a good
deal alike about things. The dinner was
quite disappointing. | asked Agnes what
studio parties were like, and she said they
always kicked the chandelier down., and
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-28
Comic CynIe,a NIu.inr..

Most OF us mean Just what We say-at
the time We say il.
Making love is easier than making a for
tune. but Il involves greater chances.