Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-26

~AA0 q 6OOA IIloLlJ RSORlS
M u midst and following his sugges-
tlon. with the exception of the Rev.
Hanks. who doesn't believe in 1t.
Miss Pansy Perkins. our poetess of
passion. has resigned her position in
the tumbstun works and is writing a
Goigressional Record, which is pub
lished at Washington. ID. q. This is
the only publication that Miss Perkins
mas not written for. Her work seems
TO have gone over the heads of all the
other editors.
The engineer on No. IL. the first train
on our railroad, has complained against
Station Agent Ben Hanks dog. who
leaps about in front OF the engine and
barks. The dog runs down the track
o eight miles to meet the train and
BACKS in front of it all the way to the
s!atlon. The engineer says 1T makes
MIN nervous and some time he will
run over that cur If he has to put on
fun speed and bust the biler. Old LATE
Iubbs missed the train the other day
by 10 minutes but he was able to over
West H~ickeyville.
The last time Uncle Ezra Purdy was
down to the city he had his big photo
took in two positions, standin' up and
settin' down. The folks around here
hardly recognized the one standin' up
as it wasn't just like him. Uncle Ezra
49, " " 10 ICduy u any ROl OUm
patent medicine concern the comes
along and wants to publish his zinc
etch1n.' The last time he took Swamp
Bitters. he didn' W no picture and
they published a likeness of a New
York anarchist and put Uncle Ezra's
name under 1t. The whskers was ali
right but the rest OF the fact didn't ut.
HAIR.
vi ali The women in the world.
There's none so fair
AS our own pretty Yankee lass
We are we'll aware.
She is an angel, yet we find
This paragon OF human kim
It's hair. hair. hair,
She pokes 1t every second and she
makes folks stare.
h feels it a%nxiously to see
If it's all there.
She wonders If its rightly curled
And If it's properly unfurled
The only thing in this wide world
Is hair, hair, hair.
1t makes her look top heavy, but
h doesn't care,
Il gally hooks on every pound
Ihat she can wear.
And she most probably has bought
More rats and switches thai she ought
And wears so much you can see naught
But hair, hair, hair.
And when she takes 1t off she hangs
1t on O chair
And on the hatrack, chandelier
And everywhere.
And when she has 1T strewn about
You certainly would give a shout
For you would not know her without.
Her hair, hair. hair.
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT.
Speaking of color schemes, many a
g1rl may resemble an angel in Alice
blue. but still look like Helen pink.
u you have a good watch that will
not run you can easily make It do 40
by melting It.
If you sleep in a feather bed light
ming will never hurt you If it doesn't
hit you.
Lightning never strikes but once in
the same place, for after it strikes
there Is no place left.
some men are very disappointing
when they take their hats off.
II you always tip the waiter he will
never tip the SOUP.
There is many a man called a mer-
chant prince when he is in reality a
merchant ounce.
Whisky will never harm YOU # Won
don't swallow 1t.
It. begins to look as though the shiny
Prince Albert coat a come to stay.
CONSOLATION.
When the world seems lark and
gloomy.
And you're feeling mighty blue,
And o think that old Dame Fortune
Has the Chinese curse on you,
II will bring a lot OF comfort,
Though the pessimist may scoff.
To consider some poor Teller
Who's a hundred times worse on.
II your finances are droppin'
In q dismal sort Of way,
And you owe some one five dollars
That you can't make out to nav.
While you may think you surely
Are the most fOrlorn of men.
You're exactly twice as well off
As h Teller that owes ten.
When your clothes are gettin' shabby
And your friends begin to think
THAI you've hit the steep %toboggan,
And you're surely on the blink;
When this autumn you are wearing
n same duds you wore last fall.
Just consider wei. che Zulus,
Who can't ave no clothes ut All
When you've got a jumping headache.
And you think there amt no chance
That you're going to live till morning.
And your nerves all seem to dance.
Just consider some poor Teller
With sciatic rheumatix
Who's been laid up since last Christ
And compare your woe with his.
No use kickin' on your troubles.
You can't dodge them, and I e,,ess
That. while everybody hAs 'em.