The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-13
OFFICIAL PAPERS OF THE
 PERSONAL RESEARCH SOCIETY
Being Secretary Account of the Random Wander ings of Clancy Ferguson and Percy McFaddin, Linn
 tied Members of the Organization
COMPILED BY WALTER HARPER

On the evening that Clancy and l were at Union Springs fine stallion, for which three local horsemen had paid S270o two years ago, died. This was the sensation of the day in the cultured little city of southeast Alabama.
 Everybody in Union Springs loves fine horses.
 The horse died about the time the even- ing trains passed the town and in the lobby of the old Josephine hotel before the trains arrived the illness of the fine animal was the chief topic of converse tion among the villagers that had congre- gated and the handful of travelling men.
 The stable boy had brought his hacks around to carry the travelling men to the depot and get the arrivals.
 The stable boy is always smart and makes himself at ease among the drum mers. Ills great ambition in life is either to own livery stable of his own or to be travelling man.
 The stable boy was greatly worried over the condition of the horse His father owned a third interest in him and that gave nlIn d pdTtIeTSHl letlliiS.
 "What is the matter with the. horse?" asked the clothing man from Baltimore.
 Nobody seems to know replied the stable boy. "Wes thought at first that 1t was the collie, but we have tried every thing and it seems to do no good. I shore believe the horse is going to die.'
 "Tut, tut exclaimed the pill drummer, who had persisted all the evening in but ting into every conversation and monop- olizing all the knowledge in human possi- bility on all subjects, 'Tf could see the horse I could tell in minute what Is the matter with him. From what you say about it the horse has nothing in the world but touch of collie and there is but one remedy in the world for that. That is whisky and asafoetida. I could have that horse up and eating oats in ten minutes"
 If you will come around to the stable and cure that horse there is one hum dred dollar William in it for you,' re- torted the stable boy. "We have got the best horse doctor from Montgomery and he is about to give it up"
 "Well, can cure him in ten minutes" persisted the pill drummer, "but I must leave on the next train.'
 q will guarantee that you are paid for all time lost and get enough to make up for the pills you fail to sell tomorrow If you will come and show us. That horse is worth 5000 and we want to save him at any cost"
 Disregarding the litter of derisive mer- rment that was circulating about the hotel office the pill drummer continued, looking about him with grand superiority. Isn't it strange that the people who are supposed to know the most about certain things know the least? Now I never owned horse In my life. but know all about them. could go around there and cure that horse in ten minutes, but just haven't got the time"
 The clothing man from Baltimore agreed with the first part of the pill drummer's statement, but the latter thought he agreed with the entire statement The shoe drummer from St. Louis coughed Montgomery smiled so broadly that he warped the clasp of his spectacles.
 Clancey figited with the stove poker and I eased it out of his hand to keep him from getting into trouble.
 Somehow Clancey could not get over the experience we had with the wise pill man at the dinner table.
 When the soup was brought in the P. D. sniffed at it critically, dipped up a spoonful of the liquid, eyed 1t with sig nif1cant caution and poured it back in the bowl. That soup was warmed over from yesterday. It smells bad. It looks bad. know it is bad. It is not fit to pour to hogs" and he showed it away.
 When his dinner was brought in he picked over everything before him, growl- ing out some ugly criticism about the un- fitness of everything and abusing hotel fares in general. But this Is the worst ever saw" and he bolted a greedy DOT tion of everything with the frown of suffering martyr and left the table.
 Then Clancey opened up. "I'll bet my bottom dollar that that mans wife, if there is woman in the world that would submit to such a relation even with travelling man. is sitting at home now eakinQ mt q scaut living on stale hrand