The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-05-26
TRIP AROUND THE GLOBE.

ste II \ li4..tN W KS do hdl N anu do ldl
benl-d nc times as the advertise
ments LAD said she was. l found
her 5, tle same.
| wanted to see if the Japanese
man was short and bowlegged and
brown, AID could live on little and
fight lore ;er, and if he worked all
the time and wasted nothing.
found him Just so. Everybody works
in Japan--eyen father.
l wanted to learn if the Pacific
was as quiet as it had the reputation
of being, 1t was.
] wanted to learn of those two
wheeled conveyances that they call
jinrikishas, in which a fellow-being
goes between the shafts and 70 ride
on a spring-seat. | wanted TO know
if it was a comfoi table COVE, dnce.
And it is. You look around first
to see il anybody is looking a5 you
until you get acquainted With driv-
ing a fellow-being, without a line
and without a nosebag to feed MIN at
noon; put he is there.
l had heard, through advertise
ments, that you could buy a white
suit of clothes for four dollars in
China.
And you can. The advertisement
was right; you could get them for
four dollars. They measure you
this morning, and put them on you
tomorrow morning. The Chinaman
sleeps when he has nothing else to
do. The American works when he
can't help it. That's the difference.
l wanted to learn if the Suez Ca
nal was over there, connecting the
Red Sea with the Mediterranean, as
l had heard that it was, with the
desert on the right and on the left.
And it is there.
| wanted to learn if the Red
Sea was near Sinai, over there where
the Law was given.
Sinai is over there, red and lumin-
GUS against the sky, where it hadn t
rained for three years.
l wanted to learn if it is really
true that in Naples they drive a
COW around and milk her in front OF
your house, and carry the milk to
you in a tin cup without any for
maldehyde in it. 1t is so.
And when the man was looking
away, I saw great, healthy calf
taking the whole neighborhood. And
he was advertising the event with
his tail. He was full of enjoyment.
l wanted to see if the Pyramids
were there. They were built to en-
able Napoleon to tell his soldiers that
forty centuries were looking down
on them. They are there, with all
the mummies and everything con-
cealed within their bodies. | want
ed to know many things, and
went to find them out. | found ad-
vertising in Japan is done with carl
catures on the wall; and the same
thing in China. If Chinaman
wants another bottle of some goods,
he takes the bottle and label back to
the place where he got it, and he will
take no other; and if there is the
change of a dot or the crossing of a
1T " on the new label, he will bring
it back. The Chinaman is the most
immovable man Except the Eng
| lishman) that there is on the globe.
! Speaking about advertising, there
is one thing that needs to be adver-
tised, and that is the United States
! of America and her merits and her
people.
l tell you that you have not a sin
| cere friend on the globe, outside OF
our own country. They may talk
it on the surface, but when you come
to scrape and get down in, you will
find at least an opponent, if not an
enemy, of Uncle Sam.
An Englishman was travelling with
me when we reached Singapore or
near there. He said: 81 wish we
could get to Singapore. l would
like to get London paper to learn
the latest news in regard to the New
York insurance scandal" looking at
me suspiciously. | said: 81 wish we
could reach Singapore. l want to
get a London paper. | want to see
what English lord or earl or duke
has eloped with some other mans
wife," OF course, then we didn't
speak for a couple of days. mas
much as we two were the only Eng
disappearing people on the ship, it
was lonesome.
| will tell you another thing. You
Will never see an American flag
around this earth anywhere unless
you have it in your valise. Every
ship sails somebody's else flag, and
| every pound of our freight is car
ried in the ships of the opposition.
When we were going through the
Suez Canal this Englishman said:
Here, Colonel, come around here
on the other side. There is an Amer
lean battleship going through the
canal"
l hadn't seen the old flag for sixty
days, and l thought of the Mis-
souri," or the Indiana" or the
Iowa" or the "Kentucky''-some
great vessel of the White Squadron
and | rushed madly around to the
other side, to see an old tramp ship
black and weather-beaten, with her
! sides as discolored as her smoke
stacks, and looking as if there had
not been an ounce of paint on her
for twenty years; but from the stern
there streamed as spotless a sample
of the Star Spangled Banner as any
you ever laid eyes on.
| took off my hat. / said to the
Englishman: Take off your hat and
| salute the American flag, for that
is an American battleship. With
just that kind of battleship we
whipped Great Britain twice.
The relations between the Eng
lishman and me were disturbed
again.
Seriously, we need a friend at
court. We need an advertising man