The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1911-08-17
WOMAN CANNOT CHEER
OR YELL, POOR DEAR!
Fair Creatures Handicapped by
Inability to Give Vent to
Feelings.
From the Chicago News.

uocd 70 NlaSin SAID the Jour-
neyman philosopher, that the failure
of woman -ahtain thase social and
political privileges for which she has
SO long commended was due to her
steadfast refusal to wear pockets. I
held that the stuffed and lumpy male
owed his dominance in world affairs to
the fact that the contents of his bulg-
ing pockets-his knife, fountain pen,
prayer book. tobacco, memoranda and
other portable goods-Were the arms
and accouterments by which be won
ana retained his supremacy, he being
ever ready to meet any emergency and
make the best of 1t. Woman, l con-
tended, would not wear pockets out Of
far of marring the symmetry of her
form, n hence was never equipped
for action In u crisis. having in such
moments to appeal to the pocketed sex
for assistance.
ut was q pretty theory, as theories
go, but it Is disproved by the logic of
events. Woman has not adopted
pockets, it is true, but she carries
more impediments in her hand bag,
her hat and her hair than mar can
possibly put in his 10 assorted pockets.
She doesn't carry the right things, of
course, but she mas the means at her
disposal.
Lack of Lung Power.
- ldu W !tSS iLiiiiSE iCf ING reason
or ner Inability to gain her ends and
l. have ound 1t in her lack Of lung
power
is totally unable either to
cheer or yell. Nature withheld from
her h vocal means of expressing de-
more feeble and dispiriting than the
attempt of q lot of women to cheer or
yell in concert. The resultant noise
resembles nothing else SO much as the
MOANING of one in the throes Of night
mare. 1t Is a pitiable impotent wall,
having in 1t no note of strength. If
you do not believe me, go to a matinee
any day and be convinced.
Now, q woman can scream or shrek
and make the welkin ring nine times
out OF ten. In the expression of alarm
or horror she Is gifted beyond her
brothers. but these are defensive,
rather than offer-cive notes. They do
not inspire to the charge, but rather to
the panic-stricken flight. They are not
martial sounds in battle, out ignomin-
o appeals for mercy.
ut is a lamentable fact that no mat
ter how large and enthusiastic a meet
Ing Of suffragettes may be. its parti-
eipants invariably 90 away bowed
Ing for which they are unable to ac-
count. 1t is the attempted cheering
that causes this depression. Carried
away by the eloquence of their orators
IN reciting their wrongs and rights, the
vast concourse rises w as one woman
and cheers as one-sick kitten!
To n who, like myself, is heartily
In favor of the complete enfranchise-
ment of the sex, such forlorn walls
seem to be the dirges of a lost cause.
There is nothing IN them to inspire
that splendid heroism which is essen
tial to the winning Of great battles.
Her inability to sound warlike notes
Is q physical defect in woman and can
not be remedied. What then, Is she to
do In order to make the noises neces-
sary to the triumph Of her cause? Her
own feeble yells have just the opposite
eject to that desire, inspiring fearful
ness rather than courage.
She must refrain from the attempt
to veil, at any cost. But there are
thousands of strong-lunged, able
voiced men in the ranks of the unem-
plcyed, who would be glad Of the op-
p%ortunity OF making a little easy
money at plain and fancy yelling, and
these could readily be hired for the oc-
casions when tremendous enthus-
iasm' is a requisite.
This arrangement would serve a
double purpose in advancing the cause
of woman suffrage. 1t would provide
the necessary noise and at the same
time make v to the cause
among voters--for these hirelings all
have the right of suffrage. nc be con-
sistent In their labor. they must not
only yell for the cause, but vote for 1t
as well.
EA