Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-11-18
TAKING THE CURE.
Graphic Pen Picture of Carlsbad
and Its Dyspeptics.
MUD BATHS AND VILE WATER
The Victims Drink Often and Drink
Deep and Absorb With tho Evil Brew
Large Doses of Misery--An I'm
pIeasant and Costly Road to Health.

pleasant and Costly hosd 10 7eaith.
A city shaped ike cup. a cup con
! faining hot water. The sides OF the
city are clothed with pines, and in the
hollow lie the waters where the dys-
! peptics OF the world foregather to
| drink and to be healed. They desire TO
| be freed from excess of fat, from yell
low skins, from pains that catch one
/ in the small Of the back and from the
stiff joints that follow hard upon the
pleasures OF the too abundant board
In Carlsbad you drink often and
drink deep. Drinking IL your main
occupation. Your drinking glass is
strapped over your shoulders as you
wander, slipping from spring to spring
you do not get honey.
| Your misery begins at 6. At o'clock
| they call you. aud you are expected TO
be shaved and decent before you face
the world of waters and Of miserable
sinners at O'Clock. IL you had not
been miserable sinner, too. you would
! not be here, but you have done those
! things you ought not to have done and
! you have left undone those things you
| Is Carlsbad.
So you take your place at the end of
queue 800 dyspept.cs long and wish
you were dead. You very nearly are.
/ for no "morning tea" sustains you; they
! forbid that; it is strictly against the
law. You take your turn at the "Spru-
deP' spring uncontrolled by the cook.
| Everything contributes to your misery.
i A German close behind you is tread
ing on your heels and breathing loudly
down your neck, and a gentleman in a
curious top hat is conducting an or
/ chestra with intent to make you merry.
4 He fails You hate him. And every
moment you draw nearer to the "Spru-
del' spring. 1t leaps from the bowels
+ Of the earth toward the roof of the
/ colonnade shrouded in its own steam.
and a girl in waterproof overalls
catches you a glassful by means of
long pole.
Then you retire to a corner with the
I evil brew and try to drink it, It tastes
I character may be OWNED by your
method of dealing with it. 1t may be
faced as one faces pet beverage.
with an air." or it may be dallied with
in sips-or thrown away. 1t may beat
you altogether. but this is rare. The
hardened dyspeptic who does his year
ly .cure" has q trick with little glass
II {, Oh hx,f 4
er the first fell glass you hurry to the
little glass pipe stall and buy a little
I glass pipe for your very own, and half
an hour later you brace yourself to-
gether for the second dose. If you
have sinned deeply you may be order
! ed even three. but probably you will
/ be let off with two goes of ''Sprudel"
I and one OF something lighter.
An hour afterward you may have
/ an inadequate meal of sour milk. one
egg and a browny roll that would baf-
! fie dentist. During the morning you
will be required to undergo bath.
possibly OF mud, reeking with curative
properties and very expensive-as ex-
pensive as the lunch you would like
to have afterward if they would let
! you. Even as it stands your mockery
of meal fruit, rice and bit of n
/ boiled bird climbs up to a total hither-
to unassociated with such elementary
| insufficiencies. At o'clock you drink
more water At 10 the long day closes
with final gulp, and the dinner inter
! vening is beneath the dignity of words
/ of any words
! 4 Sixty thousand of the sorrowful sub.
| ject themselves to these penalties year
ly every summer.
| But in spite of the 10000 you will
probably be lonely soul in Carlsbad.
Its dietetic system does not make for
sociability or mirth. But as the days
go by the pink hues of health begin 10
| return to your cheek, your color ceases
! TO be drab and your temper becomes
less vile. You find you can tolerate
your fellow man with some degree of
! courtesy even when he breathes down
your neck and clears his throat in the
region of your ear. There is less of
! Hamlet about you and more of Puck.
for your days are ordered now more in
conformity with natures plan and your
reward is an equability that is foreign
to the life Of broken laws in the place
from whence you came. For two or
three weeks this quickening process
will develop and continue until in the
exuberance Of health you return 10
your land,
When you are not here Carlsbad puts
! its shutters up and goes away to cure
itself OF the tedium of having cured
you, and by the time 1t has finished
with you its Golfers are quite com
fortably stocked against holiday. for
you were not "A "cureguest" for moth
ing. Still you were cured. and a cure
! is always cheap. But on the whole
perhaps It would have been cheaper
n you had kept the law-London Mail
interesting Spots.