davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
A Compromise.

you look seedy, old chap" said
the bachelor to the married man.
Anything wrong? Income taxi Burst
boiler? Measles?"
mo, just a little domestic worry"
the married man answered, knitting
his worried brow You see, want
the hall door painted red, and my wife
wants 1t to be painted green. And now
We hardly speak to each other"
why not compromised" said the
bachelor.
The married man cried: Good
ideal" and hurried of. Next day they
met again.
ut worked splendidly!" exclaimed
the married man, in reply to the bach.
elor's query. Il told my wife your
advice, and she agreed at once"
well, and what color is the door
to be painted?" asked the bachelor.
"Green!" said tho married man.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
JACKSON'S FAITH IN GOD
the Fight of Christ With the Same
Fury as Other Battles.

Religion took possession of Jackson,
not suddenly, but with gradual.
fierce encroachment that in the end
grasped every fiber of his being. Like
very similar nature in a different
sphere John Dome, he examined all
creeds first, notably the Catholic, but
finally settled in an austere and sturdy
Calvinism. Not that his religion was
gloomy or bitterly ascetic; for it had
great depths Of love in it, and sunny
possibilities Of Joy But it was all
absorbing. and he fought the fight Of
God with the same fury that he gave
to the battles Of this world. There
must be no weakness, no trifing, no
Inconsistency "He weighed his light
est utterance in the balance of the
sanctuary" writes one who knew him
WE'LL Christians are enjoined to
pray. Therefore Jackson prayed al
ways, even in association with the
lightest act. II never raise glass Of
water to my lips without lifting my
heart to God in thanks and prayer for
the water of life" They must re-
member the Sabbath day to keep 1t
holy. Therefore Jackson not only re-
Trained from writing letters on Sun
day; he would not read a letter on
Sunday; he even timed the sending of
his letters so that they should not
lncumber the mails on Sunday. It was
the same with scrupulous regard for
truth. Every statement, even indif-
ferent, must be exact; or If inexact
corrected. And Jackson walked a
mile in the rain to set right an or.
ror Of MISUNDERSTANDING Brad
ford, Jr., in the Atlantic.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
Mysterious Disappearance.

A girl had gone to dinner in New
York with her steady. The young
man noticed speck Of what appeared
to be lint on her shoulder. When she
wasn't looking he attempted to knock
1t off with his finger. After several
futile attempts he took hold Of the
line and started to pull 1t of. He
unraveled several yards Of the heecy
stuff and when he seemed to have all
of it threw the wad under the table.
That night the girl told her mother
that she had had a perfectly lovely
.ims. But" she added, II have Just
been lying here in bed, mother, and
wondering what became Of my union
suit"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
THE PUZZLE FOR B0TANIsTs
California Has Pine With Cones 20
Hard the Seeds Can't Be
Released.

Upper California is the home Of a
tree that has puzzled botanists. 1t is
q pine which will grow only near the
seacoast. It's growth is slow and it
does not attain to great size.
The strange thing about 1t is that
there are, to all appearances. insur-
mountable difficulties in the way of
the repetition of the species. Some
specimens of it exist in Kew Gardens,
England. They have been carefully en-
amined by competent authorities and
all admit that the tree presents prob
lem unlike anything elsefhere met
with.
This pine produces at regular inter.
walls the usual cones containing seeds.
but, strange to say, the cones are SO
thoroughly protected that the seeds
cannot be released. The cones are hard
and tightly closed and have strong
overlapping scales.
More extraordinary still is the fact
that the pine, after producing its al
most invulnerable cones, keeps them
hanging on it's branches year after
year. Unless through some peculiar
accident, the seeds would apparent.
ly remain attached to the parent tree
forever. Many of the cones on the
trees in Kew Gardens have been there
for years, as is shown by the size OF
the branches and the formation of the
bark.
1t has been found that the seed YES.
sells which this tree SO powerfully re.
tains are so we'll protected that 1t re.
quires strong knife, with the assist
ance of a heavy hammer, to cut the
cone into sections. No ordinary condi.
tons of temperature can make cone
open.
The following is the only explana.
ton yet offered that seems to have
any degree of plausibility. The spe.
cies may be perpetuated by IRE. One
who has studied the tree asserts moth.
ing but the intense heat of forest
fire could compel the cones to release
their seeds. 1t has been found that
under the influence of intense heat
they crack open and the seeds fall out
uninjured.-Harper's Weekly.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
Telling ON
7heQrLe
BY Frances Tk..47,bun

Feel kinda nervous?" questioned
poel Peters as a turn of the road
brought the district school in sight.
Not very" said Susie Conoyer.
frankly, though confess that the
thought of Tommy Bedding rather
alarms me. One boy like that in
school can upset the discipline of the
entire body and have heard nothing
but Tommy Belding' since arrived"
Hes a limb o. satan," agreed Pc
ters, cheeringly. Il was going to have
? man teacher this year, but you
begged so hard for the place that
well, you can't say l didn't tell you
before you took the job," he reminded
Rs he cramped the wheels to let the
girl climb out of the buggy. You'll
have to do the best you can and re-
member there's state law against
Whipping in the schools"
The school committeeman touched
his horse with the whip and the speedy
mare vanished in cloud of dust, while
Miss Conover went in with show of
sternness to ring the bell that should
call the first session of the fall term.
Carberry school had gained an unen-
Viable reputation among pedagogues.
Following the exposure Of a scandal
In large city school an alert legisla-
tor had passed a lew against punish
ment of any sort in the public schools
with the exceptions of the imposition
of extra tasks and keeping unruly pu-
pills in their seats after the regular
dismissal time. It was argued that
punishment would be administered at
home when needful, but the lawgivers
had argued without Mrs. Bedding.
Left widow with an only son, she
had made an idol of the boy. She had
declared that he should never be hui
inflated by being punished and ucon-
tented herself with moral suasion-an
exceedingly insufficient means of con-
troll when even scolding stopped at
the first sign of tears-and Tommy
could cry with promptness and abil-
lily born Of long practice.
II could not bear to see tears in
eyes so like his fathers" explained
the doting mother and, as Peters put
1t, Tommy worked his eyes for all
they we're worth"
Extra lessons and staying in after
school had no terrors for Tommy. He
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
Found an Unfastened Window.

IRE in the stove" He helped Lydia
off with her coat. "Hullo-what's
this?" He had caught sight of scrap
Of paper on the corner of the dresser
and he brought it to Lydia.
"Johnny"-the note ran-"Ma has
sent for me to fetch Benny so you
look after Baby. Bee sure and don't
leave the house. The milk is down
Bellar. Minnie"
At this moment Lydia and Robin.
son heard q piercing wall from close
at hand.
"A baby!" cried Lydia, almost jump.
ing out Of her chair What CHASTITY
situation!"
Poor little chap. I'll look him up!"
In moment Robinson returned
with yellow-haired, red-cheeked
baby about year old and dumped
him down on Lydia's lap. isn't he a
Jolly little fellow?" Robinson remark.
ed. Il do like babies. | say, il you
don't mind, I'll take of my coat, my
shoulders are getting chilly. Now, IL
you'll look after the infant, I'll see
what can do about tea"
Lydia held the baby as If he had
been hot potato, although she was
trying her best to act as if she knew
what to do with him. But this fright.
ened looking girl with arms like
sticks did not suit the little chap at
all, and he set up a. loud yell, Lydia
could not do thing with him, and
when Robinson had silently observed
this, he took the child out of her
arms, set him on the floor. and taking
out his handkerchief. with three knots
and a twist, made him a beautiful rab.
bit which hoped.
The baby stopped crying and CUR
gled with Joy. AZ Lydia watched Rob.
inson in his shirt sleeves in the home.
ly kitchen playing with the fat, red
checked baby. she hardly knew him
for the same manifestations English
man she had danced cotillions with.
snubbed. teased, almost considered a
coward because he had disapproved
Of a girl running her own car. All at
once 1t came to Lydia that he was
made Of better stuff than she was.
Robinson, with the baby balanced
on his shoulder. was filling the kettle
and setting it on to boil. I'll fetch
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
Nurse
Pro Tenn
By Mary Eastwood Knevels

copyright. 1911, by Associated Literary
Press.)
On his knees in the mud under a
driving rain Robinson carefully exam
tned the overturned car. Lydia, his
coat wrapped round her, sat on one
of the cushions under a tree and
wept. She was unhurt but unnerved
from the result of the accident which
had occurred-she knew-entirely
through her own reckless driving She
recalled Robinson's quietly uttered
warning just before they had turned
that last corner where they had lost
the tire-it was the only thing he had
said since she had interrupted his
stammering, somewhat abashed, dec
laration of love by an abrupt and
scornful mol"
Robinson rose from his knees and
came to her. We'll leave the car
where it is,'' he said, land go on a
bit till we find house. Come, can
YOU stand?"
He helped Lydia to her feet and
they trudged along the road half a
mile or more till they came to small
white house. the only habitation in
sight. Half dozen chickens huddleo
on the back steps for protection
against the rain which still fell III
torrents. There was no bell and Rob.
lnson knocked in vain.
There can't be any one at home, F"
sobbed Lydia. ooh, dear, what shall
We do?"
Don't worry"
In another moment he had found an
unfastened window, crawled in, and
opened the back door for Lydia. She
entered a clearly whitewashed kitch-
en- with a stove. a dresser, and an
oil cloth covered table for Its princi.
pal furniture.
Lydia smiled through her tears.
"Oh. I'm SO glad to get somewhere
out of the RAIN" she said.
Evidently no ones at home" said
Robinson, land l came in the regulu.
lion way" He showed her the key
hanging on piece of string just out.
side the door. Nov. take off that
wet coat" he ordered. land make
yourself as comfortable as you can.
These good people won't object. BY
Jove, I've mind to make you a cup
Of tea while we wait-I see there's a
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22

up the milk from down sellar,'" saad
he, but first I'll step out to the barn.
You watch him till come back,
please"
Left to herself, Lydia had the bril-
liant thought of setting the table. By
the time she had collected cups, sau-
GERS, plates and bowl for the baby
Robinson returned bearing cold ham.
butter. and pitcher of milk
THE tables ready" she said gaily.
where's the baby?" asked Robin
son.
He was gone. After an anxious
search Robinson found him in the sit
ting room wood box and carried him
back to his high chair at the kitchen
table, while Lydia, much ashamed of
herself, made the tea
There's a good horse in the sta
Bile, said Robinson as they sat down.
and one of those-er-buggies. But
Of course we can't leave this poor lit
tie chap here alone, and we can't take
him with us"
Good heavens, no." said Lydia.
will you take sugar in your tea?
What do you suppose these people
will think when they get back and
find us making ourselves at homer"
"Oh. you leave that to me-" said
Robinson easily. 'Ill explain" He
broke piece of bread into the baby's
bowl Of milk and sprinkled sugar over
1t. by jove," said he. I'VE are rath-
er snug here, aren't we?"
He beamed cheerfully upon Lydia
who in her heart agreed.
The comfort Of the simple meal was
not spoiled by the coarse china, the
oilcloth, or the presence of the RI
diculous baby splitting milk all over
his bib. There they sat in the cozy
kitchen like one family-and the face
she bent low over her place went
scarlet at the thought. Coupled with
the lateness of the hour and their rong
distance from home the situation was
becoming embarrassing. and yet-and
yet-she was enjoying it!
You don't know how pretty you
look with your hair like that" said
Robinson suddenly. He drew his chair
closer to Lydia's, but his tender
speeches, If he had intended to make
any, were destined to be interrupted
for the second time that day. A boys
head was thrust through the window.
"Gee!" said the head. There's
folks here, Minnie, n they've got baby
an they're eatin' supper off'n our
things!"
Minnie, a fourteen-year-old girl hna-
tied into the Kitchen with Johnny be-
hind her. Explanations ensued. 1t
developed that Johnny had been
"swimmin'."
AN baby would have been all
: alone If you folks hadn't come" said
Minnie, her maternal heart wrung at
the thought. l don't q know how to
thank you"
by letting us borrow your horse
and buggy" said Robinson promptly
Arrangements were soon made for
their departure. Before Lydia stepped
into the buggy she stopped and kissed
+, the baby's very dirty little face. then
! she and Robinson shook hands with
Minnie and Johnny, and drove off to-
ward the nearest railroad station.
| I'm never run car again." said
Lydia mounrfully. as they passed the
| wreck at the side of the road.
"Oh, yes, you WILL" said Robinson
! cheerfully, his arm stealing around
her. There was moments, silence
LYDIA" ,stammered Robinson at last,
! could I-may TASK you something
Ill over again."
| And this time he was not inter-
| rupted.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
The other mothers nodded assent.

lngly and wondered what spell Susie
had thrown over the boy. That there
was change was not to be denied
The other pupils declared this to be
fact and, without Tommy to lead
them astray, discipline was excellent.
1t was not until the fall term was
drawing to a close that the change
came. Susie was delighted with her
position. The mothers all liked her and
even Mrs. Bedding smiled approvingly
when she flashed past in John
Thearle's buggy after school hours in
stead Of behind Joel Peters mare
Thearle was Mrs. Belongs brother
and she mentally assured herself that
anyone who could effect so great a
change in Tommy's reputation was
worthy even of her brother.
Then Tommy fell from grace Some
mpish freak threw the school into mo.
mentary disorder and litter went
about the room when Tommy was told
that he must remain in after school
hours. The last time Tommy had been
kept In he had spilled the better part
of pint of ink over the teachers
dress. The immediate result had been
that she had hurried home to get the
Ink stains out while they were fresh,
and Tommy had gone home, too. Now
he looked longingly at the dress and
wondered whether he dared repeat the
episode. But 1t was very meek lad
who remained in his seat when the
others had filed out, and to her sur.
prise Susie found that he was crying
Gently she sought to reason with
him, but he would not listen He could
only sit and gaze anprehensively at
the door, and presently John Thearle
entered to ascertain the cause of the
teachers lateness.
He perceived the situation at q
glance and with never word he laid
Tommy over his knee and used ruler
until the boy promised to be good.
II was tired of being known as the
uncle Of the worst boy in the school,
he calmly explained to the astonished
teacher. Tommy takes advantage OF
the law in regard to punishment in the
schools and the knowledge that his
mother will not make good this fault
/ told him this fall that the first time
he was a bad boy he would get the
spanking that's been coming to him
ever since he was old enough to be
spanked. l have kept my word, as
shall keep it again If it is necessary"
THAT amt all you said" walled the
offended Tommy. I'm goin' to tell the
rest. You said If drove Miss Susie
out of town before you had a chance
to marry her you was goin' t tan the
hide often me-that's what you said
Precisely" agreed Thearle. Il saw
you at the station that first day." he
explained, land loved you then, Su'
sic. Do you think that there is a
chance for me? that you could stand
being the aunt of the worst boy in
town."
II think" she said softly, chat am
willing to be the wife of the incest
man in town"
"Going to get married?" demanded
Tommy, eagerly.
Thearle started. He had forgotten
the boys presence. :"And If am?" he
asked.
"Gee!" murmured Tommy, "1'll get
square on the next teacher"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
Smart Youth.

Tommy, what did you do with that
penny gave you for taking your med
icine?"
II bought bun with one halfpenny.
ma. and l gave Jimmy the other half
to drink the medicine for me-"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
ExpIainIno II,

A man was recently fined for as.
saulting a policeman, and considering
himself badly treated, made abusive
remarks about the court az he was
leaving the dock. An officer was sent
to bring him back, and he was again
fined, this time for contempt Of court.
my friend" said the magistrate,
III you had been more chaste and re.
fined in your language you would not
have been chased and refined" THE
Pathfinder.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
Joke on One Of Thorn,

A young fellow who could evident.
ly speak no English except as a par
rot speaks 1t, walked into New York
liquor shop the other day.
"Iss dis a saloon?" he inquired.
The Irish bartender gasped, and
then, with a sober face, he replied:
mo, sir; this is dry goods store"
Pardon" said the foreigner, with
blush and sweet smile. And he left
In q hurry.
The bartender doesn't know
whether to get mad Or 70 laush-ths
ioke 10 on somebody.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
Gould Cry With Promptness ar
Ability.

fatty refused to learn his lessons and
few teachers kept him In more than
once.
AS a result Tommy's influence was
all for evil and the Carberry school
had from three to five teachers a
term. Joel Peters, who was chairman
Uf the school committee, had grown
weary of looking for new instructors
and had started to town for the pur-
pose of engaging some quick-tempered
man as teacher who might forget state
laws in his passion and spank first.
thinking afterward. Susie Conover
had pleaded 80 hard for a chance that
he had abandoned his hope of revenge
temporarily and had given her the po-
sition with the assurance that she
could not last term out.
It was a very tremulous teacher who
stood on the platform watching the
pupils file in, but she did not betray
her nervousness to the class and to
her surprise she soon had things In
order. By four o'clock the school was
organized for the term.
Peters was waiting to drive her
home and he regarded her curiously
as she came smilingly down the path.
Get through without being killed"
he demanded with q chuckle as he
helped her into the buggy.
~ think that Tommy Belding has
been sadly slandered," declared Susie
with warmth. "He was the best boy
of the entire school"
you'd better knock wood" advised
Peters, sagely. "Mebbe he was good
today, but the devilment's there and
It's naturally bound to come out"
The ominous warning dashed Susie's
confidence, but the days passed and
Tommy continued to be a veritable
model of a pupil. Others at times
were unruly. but Tommy actually
seemed arrayed upon the side Of right
and he gazed in hurt surprise at those
who attempted to disorgantze the
classes.
Even Mrs. Bedding was pleased to
take notice and cited the new teacher
"a proof of her oft.repeated statements
that Tommy needed only kind word
to make him mind.
"The other teachers were brutal and
the poor boy resented It a. any boy
would" she declared at the Dorcas
meeting. Miss Conover says she
hasn't had to speak to the little dear
once and It 10 almost the half term. +"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-07-22
The Ready Exulalner.

wv 'sV0NJ s1$t'2'''SV'
what did you think of my gradua.
ton essay" inquired the young WON.
an.
1T was q profoundly thoughtful ad.
Dress" replied Senator Sorghum.
HBut I saw you yawn."
"A tribute to it, quality. It was so
profoundly thoughtful l imagined for
moment that I was in the halls Of
legislation"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1911-10-19
FRENCH POLICEMEN.
They Can't 30 "Fixed," and They Are
Always Polite.

Inoy can't 30 'Fi$eo, ana Inoy Are
Always Polite.
The laws of France relative to the
out of door life Of the masses are
made In the interest Of the people.
Furthermore, they are enforced. There
1s no fixing things with a French po-
hceman. If your bicycle has suddenly
been twisted into Junk by careless
driver the belted and brass buttoned
gentleman who arrives on the scene
questions you with intelligence and
jots down In his notebook the facts of
the occurrence as near as he can ascer-
tain them. Throughout the interview
he is polite, alert and pninstaking In
getting at the exact truth. and. wheth-
or you or the offending driver or both
accompany him to the police station,
he conducts you with n quiet dignity
and an air of fulfilling his duty. 1t
does not make the slightest difference
in France who you are or whether or
not you have mutual friends or come
from his ward" or are relative Of
Congressman So-and-so. II you are Mt
fault you must pay the damages. IL
the other fellow IL to blame you will
be ushered from the presence Of the
commissaire de police with ne much
ceremonial poiteness as would be
shown at n diplomatic interview.
If It is boiling hot or freezing cold
and you are In need of information,
go to the nearest policeman, address
him as monsieur and raise your hat.
He will Immediately return you n mil
itary salute listen attcntively ana give
you, as carefully as possible, the nee
essary information. snluting you again
as you raise your hat to leave him.-F.
Berkeley Smith, "Parisians Out of
Doors"