davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colville examiner. [volume] (Colville, Wash.) 1907-1948, 1911-04-08

LEFT HER PURSE ON THE COUNTER.
fast napkin in your handkerchief pock-
ct and afterward pulled it out on the
street carp
mo, ma'am, l wasn't. l was going
to buy dozen at the store, and took
that one along to match it. What does
your question meanY'
"Why, suppose IL was little alb
sentminded today, but don't think
ought to be sco!ded about 1t. 1t might
happen to any one, you see."
II don't see anything Of the kind.
Woman, did you give a tramp my Sum
day suit in an absent moment? II you
did,
mo, it wasn't that"
'"Then you gave the butcher ten
dollar bill for five and the villain
never said word. III go over there
and take him by the neckv
1T wasn't that. l went down to do
some shopping this afternoon. I had
$12 with me-"
"And let some one on the car pick
your pocket! Woman, you don't get
another blamed cent out of me this
winter! Twelve dollarsv'
mo one picked my pocket, Mr.. Bow
. SER"
"Then you left your purse on the
seat when you got out. Don't tell me
you didn't. A thousand women a day
do that very same trick"
"And l didn't leave my purse. 1t
was right in my hand when 1 entered
the store"
"rhen how in thunder did you lose
the $12. Don't beat about the bushes
and try to lay it on a dog"
Like a Woman.
1T was this way" said Mrs. Bow
ser after drawing a long breath. 81
had shopped to the amount Of $11.95
and paid for the goods and saved a
nickel for my car fare home. Then l
saw piece Of goods l wanted to look
at, and while overhauling 1t l laid my
purse on the counter"
"On the COUNTER" he shouted as he
Jumped up-"laid your purse on the
counterv'
"Yes, and cross eyed woman who
crowded in must have taken it. When
went to pick 1t up it was gone, and
so was she."
"And how many, many times have
l told you to look out for cross eyed
women! You saw that she was cross
eyed, and yet my repeated warnings
did not come to you! OF course she
took your purse-of course she did"
But, you see, there was only a
nickel in 1t. simply had to walk
home instead Of riding"
Don't talk about simply to me,
Mrs. Bowser! Suppose there had been
ffty-a hundred dollars in that purse
Suppose you had been in London or
Paris or Africa. BY the piper, wom-
an, It's wonder to me that you
haven't lost your earsv'
But is nickel worth making 80
much fuss aboutY she asked.
1T isn't the nickel, but the principle
Of the thing. l warn you thousand
times to beware Of cross eyed women
You see one in the store. You delib-
erately lay your purse down where
she can gobble 1t up and skip, and
then you come home to talk about
simply to me! Do you think | shall
ever trust you with $12 again"
But didn't lose $12. 1t was only
q nickel"
'"There you go again-there you gov'
But you have lost your wallet ~
q three times"
Turn Called on Samuel.
when, where? Name the dates!
The Colville examiner. [volume] (Colville, Wash.) 1907-1948, 1911-04-08


against your husband. and now want
the dates. Never In all my life have
l lost my wallet"
"Well, other men have mislaid
theirs"
what other men have done or are
going to do is nothing to me. l have
a pocket for my wallet, and it's al
ways there. DON'T
Mr.. Bowser had carried his hand to
his breast pocket with the words, and
two seconds later he gave sudden
jump.
what is it2"
"By the great horn spoon, butt
"Is it your walletY'
"Y-yes. It's gone!
"You don't say so! Feel in your
other pockets"
Mr.. Bowser did 90, even to his
watch pocket, but the wallet was not
forthcoming.
when did you have it last?' asked
Mrs. Bowser as he began to turn from
red to white and back again.
"This-this noon. l took out bill
to pay for my lunch Here is the
change, but the wallet is gone. 1t
must have been picked from my pock-
ct on the car"
"Mr. Bowser did you notice man
with Roman nose on the car with
you?"
81 did, did! Yes, he had a Roman
nose, and when he got off he fell
against me- That must have been the
time when he got the wallet, and
there was nearly 5000 In it."
"And yet thousand times over
have warned you against men with
Roman noses! You saw he had one,
and yet you were not on your guard
A thousand men like you let thou
sand men with Roman noses pick
their pockets every day"
"Near $2OOv' he groaned.
"And all your fault. It's a wonder
to me that some one hasn't stolen your
coattails."
"But I'll know him again on sight
I'll know himw exclaimed Mr.. Bowser
as he danced around HE got of one
block down, and I'll take a walk and
see If can't come across him. II
do I'll un-Roman that Roman nose for
him in Just one punch"
Eyes, you deliberately sat there"
continued Mrs. Bowser, "and saw that
the man had a Roman nose and never
even suspected that he was after your
5000. You must have been thinking
of something afar of. Suppose you
had been in London. Paris or Africa.
You'd have been In nice financial
fx, wouldn't your
UnaratefuI at the Last.
"Say-say, some one shall die for
this" he hoarsely whispered.
"But it's as much your fault as his
more. He didn't know how much
money you had, while you knew that
he had Roman nose. Do you think
shall ever trust you to carry around
almost 5000 agaln?"
"Tll take a walk. I'll have my eyes
peeled for a man with a Roman nose
I shall find him sooner or later When
I do l shall walk up to him and haul
OFF,
But you needn't look for him this
time" interrupted Mrs. Bowser. Here's
your wallet, and | hope you will take
better care Of 1t in future"
at is-it Isl he gasped as he grabbed
for 1t. But
"You pulled it out at dinner when
you were looking for letter, and 1t
was left beside your plate. mislay
my purse with a nickel in it, and you
mislay your wallet with almost $500
in itv
Mr.. Bowser sat down and counted
the money twice over and then rose
up to say:
"Robbed Of my wallet in my own
house! Mrs. Bowser, this is the last
straw! Telephone your lawyer in the
morning to see my lawyer and have
the divorce procured without scandal
II possible"
The Colville examiner. [volume] (Colville, Wash.) 1907-1948, 1911-04-08
Goin9 Some.

"Speakin' o. fast trains" said On
Gle Josh, 81 was on one one time that
whizzed past the telegraph poles so
fast that they looked like the teeth OF
fine tooth comb
That's nothing" said Jones. why.
| was once on train down In Missou-
ri that went so fast that the patches
Of corn and beans along the road look
ed like succotash." h."-Spokane Spokcs-
man-Review.
The Colville examiner. [volume] (Colville, Wash.) 1907-1948, 1911-04-08

Snow the Examiner to your Friend.
The Colville examiner. [volume] (Colville, Wash.) 1907-1948, 1911-04-08
Tho Orators Fate.

"Some orators" said Senator SOr-
ghum refectively, make me think of
our parrot"
1.-THE one whose head you chopped
Off"
"Yes. He had to take all the blame
for what somebody else insisted on his
saytnR."-Washingto Star.
The Colville examiner. [volume] (Colville, Wash.) 1907-1948, 1911-04-08
Flat Life.

"The equal distribution OF wealth u
what complain about"
'sYss, and we'll soon be complaining
about the unequal distribution Of
heat"-Louisville Courfer,J ournal.
The Colville examiner. [volume] (Colville, Wash.) 1907-1948, 1911-04-08
MIR. BOWSer and His POcketbOOk

A RS. BOWSER had confess
II" sion to make. She was in a
X'X hurry to make it, but she
was polite enough to wait
until after dinner. She hoped the roast
beef would incline Mr.. Bowser to look
upon her leniently and that the mince
pie might bring forth forgiveness.
After he had SKINNED over the even
ing paper and smoked half cigar she
quietly said:
"Mr. Bowser, do you ever do any
thing careless"
"Never!" was the prompt reply. "You
have lived with me long enough to
know that"
"But you are sometimes absentmind-
ed"
Never in this world. I always keep
my wits about me-"
Weren't you absentminded the 9TH
er morning when you put your break
The Colville examiner. [volume] (Colville, Wash.) 1907-1948, 1911-04-08
Hanna Bros.
Fishing Tackle

We have just received complete line of
Choice Fishing Tackle. ALL FRESH NEW
GOODS. Flies and leaders deteriorate very
rapidly and consequently if you want the best
it is necessary to buy FRESH NEW GOODS.
If you desire any advice as to the kind of flies
to use at different times of the year or on
cloudy, rainy or bright day; the kind to use
in the morning mid day or evening we will
be pleased to advise you. The kind to use
for the black or native trout or the Pen
sylvania brook trout; thirty thousand of
which we planted last year in the heads of
Mill and Deep Creeks, and sixty thousand
which we will receive and plant next week.
These trout are much gamer and grow much
larger than the native trout, weighing four or
five pounds at the age of five years.
We have Salmon Eggs at
Csc per can
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09
MAN GETS
Different SUIT
Catarrh Sufferers Need Diff
ferent Treatment.
impossible to Buy Cures Across the
Counter-Men Who Treat You
Many Miles Away.

This is just a little heart to heart
talk with the man or woman who is
suffering with catarrh. OF course, it is
taken for granted that you want to
be rid of the vile disease and are in
terested in anything that is new in the
way of conquering it. You do not,
however, want to hear anything about
those cures they pass you over the
counter at so much per cure. They
are put UP several hundreds Of miles
away by men who never saw you.
Such remedies contain little else than
dope" and are dangerous.
If you are afflicted with Catarrh so
that the mucous membranes are clog
ged and cannot perform their work it
is necessary that you have a physician
skilled in that branch of the practice
of medicine make a careful examina-
ton and treat your special case. There
is a difference between men-the same
suit of clothes will not fit all, and the
same bottle of medicine will not cure
all. Does that sound sensible?
If yours is bad case do not be dis
couraged, you probably have simply
not tried the right doctor or you would
have been rid of it long ago. 1t takes
a Specialist to cure Catarrh. The
United Specialists have had great
success in clearing off these mem
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09
PENSACOLA WOMEN Adv
TREATED WITH CRULTY
Warning Is Sounded In Hope That Some May Be Saved
Much Torture.


and vicinity:
s
methods Of fellow
be
Dozens of in that they
their womanhood 1t is for benefit this article
any woman without cutting specialist diseases
pelvic to accomplish
The practice OF medicine has changed much in the last few The
Other electrical appliances supplemented their knowledge and the
doctor who
the United wOtho doubt the best equipped to with
study and to this day read anything that of value to their profession
Added
ton of disease
these eminent
paten
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09
the Little Ones
Doctors VIII Cure Them
Diseases of Children Are Given Special
Attention.

Many little boys and girls suffer
from stomach troubles. imperfect eyes
and throat diseases who could be
cured by a little inexpensive treat
ment. 1t is an old remark that "a
stitch in time saves nine" and an ex-
animation now might save much
trouble and money later on. These
little people respond to treatment
much quicker than a grown person,
but It is dangerous to allow their ills
to get too much of a start.
The United Specialists have exam
ined many and done a lot of good.
where a course of treatment was not
needed. AS examination and advice
are free. sometimes a little home rem
edy which they recommend does the
work and the child is made well again
without any cost whatever. Do not let
the little one suffer when expert med
ical advice can be had for the asking.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09

Has Il ever occurred to you. Mr.. ami
Mrs. and Miss Pensacolian. that there
are numbers Of people right here with
in our very gates who need and want
and merit an aIl-around good-fellow-
ship sort OF introduction into the
heart OF the town?
Has it occurred to you, that. In the
business OF boosting Pensacola, it is
the very apparent duty of each and
every one of us to see that there is not
single lonesome stranger about the
city, say ON Sundays. when Blue Devils
WIN get in their very choicest work on
people away from home?
The San Carlos hotel is a good place
in which to begin. by the way, to min
gle and to become acquainted with the
people who come this way.
Mr.. Hervey. it is true, pursues this
policy of sending everyone away wild
" enthusiastic over all things Pensa-
eolian. and moreover he sees that his
people follow the self-same outline
but Mr.. Hervey nor his peopla canno.
b expected to carry out the whole
idea by themselves-an occasional
helping hand from the people of PEN
saco4a is the element that is most
needed.
do not blame a man or woman
very much for what he or she NAV do
if they are lonesome.
1 believe that great deal of the
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09

every kind Of crime-and it certainly
comes far from creating any special
degree of enthusiasm.
No person should be allowed to go
away from Pensacola, either, with
any other feeling than that Of a
healthy, whole-souled regret at leaving
the fine old place.
, 1t is up to Pensacola people, by the
way. to see to this very thing.
Entertain the Visitors.
1t is the business OF your boosting
Pensacolian to circulate more sener-
ally around the lobby, say, of the San
Carlos
Here will be found a great may men
or affairs from a great many parts of
the world-aInong whom it VIII be the
easiest thing In the world to arouse no
end Of interest
Here it may be possible to arouse
the speculative genius Of some capt.
talist who may at some future date do
worlds for the city in a financial way
you cannot really tell what really
large game you may be bagging in
your general work OF circulating
there Is bound to be good efforts any
how come as they may.
Supposing you make the acquaint-
ance of some substantial business man
who. with his wife. is spending some
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09
A Work of Charity That
Will Cost You Nothing
Send Sick Men and Women to Insti-
tute for Free Treatment.

II you see one of those human
wrecks drifting about in this sea Of
humanity-one of those sick down
and outs"-such as there are many in
a city like Pensacola, you can do him
a favor and it will not cost you a
cent. He will be treated for his dis
ease free of charge at the United
Specialists. 1t does not matter with
what kind of an old chronic disease
he suffers, he will be we'll care for.
He does not know of this piece Of
good fortune. If he had money enough
to buy a newspaper where he would
read this he would have used the cash
for something to eat. So do him the
favor of telling him the location of the
Institute. Send your servants or mem
bers of their family. There are hun
dreds of this kind who go to the free
clinic. They enter through the side
door and have their own waiting
rooms and attended by one of the
Specialists There are only denied the
service of the Chief Specialist, and
who is kept too busy with the pa
tients in regular part of the Insti-
tute.
The hours for these destitute ones
are from 8 a. m. until $3.50 a. m. and
from 4 until $3.50 p. m.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09

desirable sections brought more than
$40 at auction and wherever an ad-
vance over the original purchase price
was realized the excess was placed in
fund which will be used for the bene-
fit of all holders of farms and city lots.
Division of Farms.
Division of the 1900 farms which
are comprised in 10000 acres of the
land is as follows:
Ten acre plots, 5000; twenty acre
plots. $500; forty acre plots, $50;
eighty acre plots, 100; 160 acre plots,
20; $40 acre plots, 2.
Florida has appropriated $4,000, 900
for the work of draining the Ever
glades, which contain the finest soil IN
the world for the growing Of fruits
and vegetables. The completion of the
work will not only bring a great influx
of people into the state, but will mean
millions of dollars revenue to tie
state.
State Gets Taxes.
TN addition to $1,s0o,000 which the
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09
AN HONEST TALK
ON RHEUMATISM
Most Stubborn Disease Doc
tor Has to Fight.
VERY Attack Leaves Victim With
Less vitsiity-Unitsd Doctors
Able e Cure Many Cases.

Rheunatism Is me sin. It nrst casts
its dark mantle over the victim. then
Lifts It for time; it comes again and
stays longer and finally takes q hold
that It seems beyond the power OF
anything here on earth to remove. The
disease ensnares its victim slowly but
surely until the whole body is con-
quered. It may be foot or an arm
first, or even a finger. but It Is bound
70 spread until the sufferer is as help
less as one stricken with paralysis
Every attack Of rheumatism leaves
the victim with less vitality to fight
the trouble and the joint becomes stin
leaving him charge upon his friends.
The pain and suffering are terrible.
some are not able to bear even the
weight Of bed-clothfng. The fingers
and limbs are distorted and many
cases OF heart trouble are the result
The method OF elimination used by
the United Specialists is the only sys-
tenn by which a sure and complete
cure can be performed for rheuma-
tism- II may be honestly aetmowl-
edged that this disease is perhaps the
most stubborn with which the ply
sfcian has to fight and this cure repre-
sents the search Of a lifetime. Baths,
runs. pills and nnaments have cured
no one. These Specialists have made
a special study Of the poison and it's
antidote. They administer a medicine
that does not injure the stomach. but
goes right to the spot and drives out
the cause OF your soreness. They never
make a mistake since the adoption OF
the present methods, and there is not
a.case. no matter of how long stand
ing. which this remedy and their form
Of treatment win not relieve.
These doctors. with their careful,
sure and methodicaI ways have work
ed wonders in the city Of Pensacola
Like in the Fatheriand, where every
thing fs done slowly, carefully and
well. they have set about to cure those
who suffer from chronic diseases.
They have their own ways and their
own medicines supplemented by what
science has given them in the way OF
electrical appliances. With these they
perform cures that have made the
doctors OF Germany the envy Of the
medical fraternity of the world.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09
Men Sometimes Need
A Little Good Advice
More Worried Than siek-Diseases
Soon Vanish.

Sometimes men who are suffering
from disease or imagine they are i'll,
need only a little advice. They lack
patience and are really more troubled
In mind than they are in body. Dis
ease, to doctor OF skill, experience
and with the latest appliances of sci
ence is but a mere temporary condi-
ton II can be removed at Will Some
men suffer both in mind and body
thinking that there Is no cure for their
troubles. they soon find that their
case viii get worse instead OF better
without attention
The man who neglects his disease
has only to answer to himself. Here
in Pensacola the United Specialist
doctors have established their insti-
tute- They offer examination and adj
vice free They are specialists of ripe
experience, and can give you the latest
and surest methods Of treatment If
you need It Their record Of cures
would surprise you Even where blood
diseases or syphilis OF long standing
have puzzled others they have found
their foe at the United Specialists.
Fine results have also been gotten by
patients who suffered from rheuna-
tisrn. var1cose veins, skin diseases and
piles.
Get the right doctor and half the
battle is won Millions are spent an
nually by patients who go to the
wrong doctor, but they do not discover
their mistake until sometimes. alas,
they have waited too long. If you
have a chronic disease you can make
no mistake IN visiting these thorough
masters of the ills of mantle United
Specialists
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09
MANS STRENGTH
OLDBYSTOMACH.
Like Chain, No Stronger
Than Weakest Link.
Specialists Who Know the Useful
Organ Can Work Wonders In the
Way of Repairing Weak Stomach

As the chain Is no stronger than ~
weakest link, so the body Is no strong
er than its Stomach A good black
smith can make the link as strong
as II ever was and q good doctor
can make the Stomach as strong as Il
ever was. This removing of those
things you desire most from your diet
list viii never cure a case OF stomach
trouble. 1T IS the putting OF good.
nourishfng things into the body that
makes strength. Being deprived Of
them brings about slow starvation. II
this sounds like good, common sense
read on; statements Of more import
ance to you are to follow
If you have dyspepsia. indigestion.
distress after meals. loss OF appetite
or heartburn 1t Is first necessary %
correct the cause Of the troublA Do,
not to a lack Of al trades and
master Of none~ TalS your poor
abused stomach 10 Q specialist who
understands his bustness-one who
has spent years In tho study Of that
one subject and knows It's various IN
tricactes In the body from childhood 60
old age. The best II a1weys the Surest
and you cannot afford 20 take q
chance with any other. The Stomach
Specialists of the STAR Of Umtedl
Specialists can cure you. That IL O.
broad statement, but their record and
their knowledge Of this organ makes
a cure absolutely certain whsr9 -<heyi
accept the case.
These doctors first master q case
Of stomach trouble by relieving TIE
pain and cure it compaeteaE. They1
then restore the appetitA TO whG~e TT
once was-give you that deep, hungry
longing for a good solid meal Andi
you are able to eat the solid NOD of
old and digest it without diStTeaA
That dangerous complaint caHEzhI
OF the stomach, is as readily cured aSI
any of the other numerous diseases OF
that organ It is probably moro dam
gervus, however, than the usual run Of
sickness, and the patient who delays
is daily losing chances Of recovery
The United Specialists WIN exau1tnS
you without cost, and give you ehetzs
best advice
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-04-09
JENNINGS SEES
BRIGHT future
IN EVERGLADES
FORMER GOVERNOR DISCUSSES
SITUATION IN COUNTRY BEING
RECLAIMED BY sTATE-DRAIN-
AGE BEING PUSHED.

Former Governor W. s. Jennings, at
torney for R. ]. Bolles, original pur-
chaser from the state of 100000 acres
of Everglades lands, predicts a bril-
liant future for this section of Florida,
says the Jacksonville Metropolis.
He is in close touch with the work
that is being done toward retaining
these vast tracts Of land, and believes
that by the end of the present year the
plots now under water, but already
sold to prospective settlers, will be
ready for occupancy.
Mr., Jennings was present at the re
cent apportionment of 10000 lots at
Progresso, a new town that has sprung
up there, and the surrounding terri
tory, and declared to a Metropolis re-
porter this morning that it will only be
a short time until a fiourishing town
arises on what are now submerged
lands, totally unfit for cultivation.
Six Dredges at Work.
six dredges are now at work and
another is expected shortly" said the
former governor. Sixty miles Of ca
nal have already been dug. and these
give drainage to the Atlantic ocea1
on the one side and the Gulf Of Mexico
on the other.
AT present, work is being pushed,
but our lot holders have been Informed
that their lands will not be clear of
water and ready for occupancy until
the end of the present year. At the
recent distribution at Progresso, $4,000
lot holders were represented IN person
or by proxy, fully $500 people being
on the ground.
Each OF the original purchasers paid
s240 apiece, and this entitled him to q
farm and a town lot From March
18th to March oath, the lots were par
celled out, being put up at auction to
the holders OF undivided tracts. More