davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
AMAZING LINGUIsTs.
A Wonderful Teacher Of Spanish and q
Mastor of Arabic,


An amazing incident happened in one
OF the higher schools in France few
years ago. A certain deputy Of great
influence went to the minister of pub.
lie instruction and asked a place as
schoolteacher for one of his constit-
uents. The minister said the only
place vacant was that of teacher of
Spanish. The deputy told his friend
this and remarked that it was n pity
he did not know Spanish. To which
the pOstulant replied:
Spanish? Why, Spanish is my spe.
cialty! shall be glad to take the pro-
fessorship."
So be was appointed He bought a
Spanish grammar and began teaching
1t to his pupils, doing his best to keep
lesson ahead of the class. But it was
pretty poor Spanish he was teaching.
and he was very we'll aware of this.
Everything went along smoothly, ana
the end of the term approached when
the class was to be examined by n Sc
we're and eXacting professor from the
university. The teacher trembed in
his shoes as the dread day drew near
The day came and with 1t the eXamin-
Ing professor The scared teacher put
his class through its PAGES. painfully
conscious that Cervantes would never
have recognized as Spanish this Ian
guage the pupils We're speaking. The
grim professor listened in impassive
silence. Then he asked few aues-
tiOns and gave the members of the class
n few sentences to translate into Span
ish. AS his pupils answered the teach
his resignation. But when all was over
the professor congratulated him on
his success and the class and the rapid
progress 1T had made
The professor did not know a word
of Spanish!
Emanuel Arcnc used to tell the fol-
lowing story: A certain Marsellaise
boastcd so long of his knowledge OF
Arabic that at last lie came to believe
he knew 1t. One day an Arab was
arraigncd In Marseillcs police court
Oh Il charge Of murder. He began to
speak in his own defense. but as no
one there could understand u word be
said the judge demanded an interpret
er. The boaster was sent for and told
to interpret what the Arab said He
listened gravely to the mans defense.
Then he turned to the court and said:
He confcsscs everything"
And so the Arab was found guilty.
| New York World,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Why She Worried.

But. mother. why do you object to
my being pleasant to the young men?
You can't hope to keep me with you
always. you know. One of them will
take me away from you some day."
'Take you away from me? Well. IL
that happens | shall not complain 1t
is the certainty that none Of the young
men who have been coming here so
far would take you away that has
worried both, your father and me.'-
Chicago RecOrd-Herald
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Give Daddy Praise.
Mrs. John b Dodd, of Spok

Mrs. John B. Dodd, of Spok-
ane, WASH, is the originator of
q new idea and the founder of
a naW society. She is "the
moth ! of Fathers day." and
she would have Fathers day
celebrated on the third Sunday
of every June, and have minis
ters of the gospel everywhere
preach for daddy's glorlfacation
For some reason, which per-
haps suggests debate, poetry
does not lend itself to praise of
the fathers. Possibly the poets
lacked confidence in themselves
possibly they didn't like their
fathers; possibly they have
been through all time oppres-
sed with modesty. Anyway,
Mrs. Dodd proposes to remedy
this defect in society and she
asks a good word in pushing
along the reform. Since she is
young and pretty and presum
ably has a reason for praising
father. 1t would be a mighty
mean man who would refuse to
lend her helping hand, to'givs
her a lift as country travellers
say when a farmer takes them
UP for a free ride. Sioux City
Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
BLocKADED
Every Household in Missouri
Valley Should Know How
to Resist 1t

The back aches because the
kidneys are blockaded.
Help the kidneys with their
work.
!. The back will ache no more.
Lots of proof that Doan's
Kidney Pills do this.
It's the best proof, for it
comes from Missouri Valley.
George Monnin. 113 N. w.
Ninth St., Missouri Valley,
Iowa, says: "About eight or
nine years ago l had backache
and at times was almost pros
trated. The attacks came on
suddenly and made it impossi-
BILE for me to stoop or lift. l
was subject to dull headaches
and my ambition and energy
left me. Since taking Doan's
Kidney Pills | have been free
from these symptoms of kid
ney complaint. It gives me
pleasure to recommend this eff
fective medicine"
For sale by all dealers.
Price so cents. Foster-Mil
burn, Co., Buffalo, New York,
sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's
and take no other.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Only Wanted tho Chance.

Emperor do moi, care to hear your
proposition. sir. Everything that is
submitted must first be put through
the prime minister. Subject-Nothing
would please me better. wanted to
show you the new bayonet which I
have invented for army use.-London
Answers. =
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Irvincil,Ie Amazons.

"And Just to think, John" said Mrs.
Stpbb proudly. IF the suf1ragettes
ever get into power the leaders will
have their pictures on the postage
stamps"
"Ry crickey" sighed Mr.. Stubb. With
feraway look. That's the only way
We'll ever be able to lick 'em."-Chi-
cHgo News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Squads,

A SQUAD grows enormously the first
twelve hours and still more rapidly
after the third day. Squads are Mt
first sparsely covered with long fila
ments of down. the root of each fla
ment indicating the Eoint from which
each future feather Is to start. The
down for awhile still hangs on the
tips If some of the feathers duriny
their growth and is thought by some
to lie finally absorbed into tile sl,aft ut
the growing feather,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

While the mai!-order houses
have been complaining of poor
business this spring, yet they
have not stopped advertising
until business gets better. On
the contrary, they are pushing
harder than ever to increase
sales.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
-.slrmer Short Course at Ames

Where teachers, preachers,
aousekeepers, business and pro
fessional men and women may
study agriculture, cooking, sew
ing, masual training, and sub
jects required for a teachers
certificate.
In response to many requests
the State College at Ames will
hold a Summer School there
June 1924, 1911. An oppor-
tunity will be given to study
horses, hogs, sheep, cattle, poul-
try, butter, cream, soils, fruit.
vegetables, flowers, grasses,
weeds, insects, corn, oats, cook
ing, sewing, sanitation, manual
training and numerous other
subjects besides having q
chance to review arithmetic,
reading, physics, algebra and
other studies required fol
teachers certificates.
The teaching will be done by
the regular college faculty and
other experts. Besides the
regular class work use will be
made of the laboratories, ex-
perimental plots and fields, and
the live stock and other valu-
able equipment belonging to
the college.
There will be lectures, dem
onstrations and conferences to
consider ways, means and other
methods. A convention of all
the county superintendents in
Iowa will be held at Ames,
June 8, 9, 10, to consider public
school problems. The last
week will be "Rural Life Week.
and many conferences will he
held by ministers, educators,
and others interested in rural
life and prominent people from
this and other states will ad-
dress them. Excursions and
entertainments will enliven the
time. Anyone may enter and
choose any subjects offered.
The program will be so planned
that those who wish to take
certificate subjects can do So
and also take agricultural work
while those who do not wish
the certificate subjects may put
the entire time on Agriculture
Nature Study, Home Economics
and Manual Training. These
two weeks will be packed full
of valuable study and healthful
recreation and all who can
sh ,uld accept this opportunity.
The fee is only $500.
Housekeepers, teachers, re.
ligious workers, business and
professional men and women
will be able to get a broad
knowledge of these industrial
subjects or to specialize in
some chosen department. Send
to A. V. Storm, Dean of Sum-
mer School, Ames, Iowa, for q
pamphlet giving more complete
information.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

The Board of Directors. and
other officers of thu C. & N w
Railway Co., passed through
this city this morning. but d.
not stop to even say chow"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Miss Maud O'Neal returned
to her position in the Times Of
flee on Monday morning, after
months absence, on account of
sickness.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Mrs. ]. E. Gray returned to
her home TODAY, accompanied
by her sister Miss Eta Landon
who will spend the week in Co
Bluffs.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Too Linuid.

"y"u used to rave over my liquid
rp'ce." she says accusingly.
Il know did," he mutters in de-
fcnsc, "but did not imagine then
that your words would come In such
iorrcnts."-St. Paul Dispatch.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Humbolt, Sask., May 10, III.
Missouri Valley Times.

Humbolt, Sask., May 10, III.
Missouri Valley Times.
Gentlemen:-I have been going
to write you many times, but
neglected to do so, and as it is
raining out, and as a rainy day
one can not get out, l am going
TO write you a few lines.
We are still living at North
Battleford, at least father and
mother are. We have our
homestead proved up, and
have another quarter next to it
making the one half section,
and we have our home in town.
Father is conductor on the
road and enjoying the best of
health, and is a Canadian now,
as he has taken out his papers,
but mother says she is an
American, and l think | will be
a Canadian, if we stay much
longer, but would certainly like
to be back to Mo. Valley again
l went to school in Septem.
ber and took a business course
and am working in Jro @
Brandons real estate office in
Humbolt.
Everyone seems to be inter-
ested in land out west, as it
seems to he one of the most
profitable investments obtain
able especially in the Humbolt
district.
AS I have told YOU all til,
news of the Bachelor familp /
will close, best regards to all,
l am yours,
Grace Bachelor.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Will Nedemyer and Mss May,
returned from Nshra ska, last
night, where they had baan On
q visit with friends for ,, week.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

First Fish Story of the Season
A. A. Heath and F. A. Heath
Brought in the first string of
Bass of the season, last eve
ming, they did not say, howev-
tr, how much they paid per
l,1und for them.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

W.. u. GOOQWln IS moving INTO
the Dewell property on 7th st.
J. F. Kelley ran a rusty piece
ef barb wire into his thumb,
J .st week, and thought nothing
oi it until his arm began to
s veil and his thumb began to
p,in him fearfully. He went
tAa physician and found q fine
& ise Of blood poison developed.
ie swelling has been reduced,
lat the thumb is yet very pain.
f,ll and it will be some time be-
i ,re Mr.. Kelly will be able to
use his arm and hand again.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18


Advertised letter list for the
week ending May Is 1911.
Gilbert Mrs.
Giles Mrs. F. j.
Heniz Hurb
Hughes Fred
Logan John
Lake Nick (Foreign)
Payne Charley
Steganoff Mrs. Allie
Vincoff Atanas (Foreign)
D. j. A1lum, P. M.
This sultry weather surely
hetokens more rain.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Hard to Collect.

The world owes every man n living,
hlt yon have to be pretty smart tc
get a Judgment for the dnbt.-Wash
ingtOn Star,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
N"lline, but Cautious.

"Yes. ny ,!:ny!,'er eloped."
II suppose will forgive the
young comp
mot until they have located place
TO board."'- Washington Herald.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Touch Combination.

Probably there is no combination on
earth harder to live with than m ar
tistic temperament souscd in n bad
cold.-Galveston News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Eauarite Seat.

Friend Why do you do your sewing
nt This window in the air shaft? You
can't half see. Mrs. De Patt- No, but
I can hear beautifu!ly.-Ne York
Weekly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Mrs. Mary Kendall, of Nor
folk, Nebraska, is in the Valley
4 lest of friends.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

II we cannot strcw life's path with
flowers. we can Mt least strew 1t with
smiles.-Dickens.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Several roofs were found to
be badly in need of repairs dur
ing the rain Saturday night.
That is the first good rain we
have had for so long many of
the people had decided they did
not need a roof at all.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Dr.. Warren is attending the
m seting of the Nebraska State
ID Dsntal Society at Lincoln.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Mike Dessert and Jim Riley,
left for Minneapolis this morn.
ing.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
] aesday May rs

Miss Nallie South attended
the. May festival in Omaha to-
(lay.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Mrs. Fletcher kas returned
from Nebraska, after a three
weeks visit with har children.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

w. S. Peterson is the guest
cf his parents, near Honey
Greek. His father, who has
been in poor health for the past
Year, is reported not so we'll.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

1t is always safe to learn even from
our enemies. never safe to instruct
even our friends.-C0ltoa.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

II. v. Chapman, for many
years the proprietor of The Ma
pl.ton Qowa) Press, of Maple
TN, has disposed of his Office to
w. C. Hills, of Smithland 10.
Tne Press is a good county
paper, and we hope Mr.. Hills,
the new proprietor, will keep
up the good record of the Press
male under the editorial man.
s,gement of Mr.. Chapman.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

The funeral of Mrs. Boyd, at
tie home, preached by Rev.
Curtis, was largely attended,
a nd beautiful floral offerings by
friends were numerous and ap-
propriate. Obituary will ap-
u .ar later.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Where Would a Man
Buy an Ice Box?

A man asked us where he
could buy an ice box and really
we could not tell him where to
go. Gasoline stoves, garden
tools and such, are in demand
at this time of the year, but we
do not see any of the above
mentioned articles advertised.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Logan reports exactly the
same amount of rain as this
city.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

+ Six federal prisoners from
South Dakota were here this
morning on their way to the
federal prison at Fl. Leaven-
worth. One had killed an In
dian but the remainder were
boot-leggers.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Mrs. Ed easy and Mrs. Jno.
Brinker are in Omaha today.
Mrs. Joe Smith left for Des
Moines this morning where
she will join her sister and TO-
gether they will visit relatives
in Ohio.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Population

Omaha has l59, 1872 and South
Omaha has 81, ,3O2, according to
the census report.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18

Mrs. Robt. Harvey attended
the May Festival in Omaha to-
uav.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Geo Marshall left for his
home in Marshalltown this
lnOrni, q.

The funeral of Mrs. Joseph
ID sur this morning was very
} .rgely attended. Solemn Re-
q liem High Mass was celebrat-
..I by Father Mullen assisted
~ several other priests. Faith
~. N ,ian preached a very beaut
ieul and impressive sermon.
Z ,e floral offerings were num-
Grous and beautiful.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-05-18
Birthday Party.

Miss Eta Landon entertain
ed at a very pleasant birthday
plrty Saturday afternoon.
The afternoon was delight
fully spent in music and games
la the flower guessing contest
prizes were awarded to Frances
lDewell and Sarah O'Conner.
In the drawing contest Lucy
Bloch and Marcella Dewell won
the prizes.
The girls were seated at a
long table, which had as a CEN
terpiece a large white cake, on
which was fifteen lighted cand-
les. A two course luncheon
was served. Covers were laid
for six.
Mrs. j. E. Gray and daughter
Marion Landon, and Agnes,
D,rothy Strayer of Council
Bluffs were among the guests
for the afternoon.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1911-07-20
POWELL FORD.

Mr.. and Mrs. Earl Brown of
MeXico were the guests of Mrs.
Claude johnson last Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. j. o. DOwell and
family, Mr.. and Mrs. George
Lewis and family, enjoyed a fish
fry last Thursday.
Elder j. d. Greer and wife
spent Wednesday afternoon of last
week with friends in this vicinity
with her old neighbors and on Fri
day Bro. Greer and wife and T. j.
Powell and wife dined with Mr..
and Mrs. Milford Berry.
VIM. Mason Shipped out "A nice
car of cattle Saturday of last
week.
NJ. n. Powell sold a yearling
heifer to w. d. Mason for $34 .25.
The many friends of Whitley
Johnson are glad to hear he is bet
ter of his rheumatism. We trus
he will soon be well.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1911-07-20

plan being go successfully carried
on, these irrigating canals being
fed from the two main rivers, the
San Joaquin and Kings River.
Fresno Valley is three hundred
by six hundred miles, dotted here
and there with beautiful homes,
vineyards, orchards, green alfalfa,
wheat and barley fields and flow
ers on every side, the emblem
flower being the golden poppy,
which decorates the State flag.
The city was beautifully deco
rated the fourth of July, the larg-
est crowd we ever saw on that
day. | think we would be safe in
saying twenty thousand people OF
all nationalities were here. The
parades were grand. The busi-
ness houses and work of all kinds
were represented. The Horrible
Parade" which did not come off
until nine O'Clock in the evening
was really horrible" THE God
dess of Liberty" was certainly a
lovely young lady and beautiful
singer.
We are having very warm
weather here now, the highest the
thermometer has registered yet is
about 100 degrees. We always
have a good breeze and nice night,
to sleep.
We haven't had an opportunity
to visit any of the farms or ranches
as they are called here, but have
heard that they are all sizes, from
five to three hundred acres, anc
even more.
If this letter does not go to thu
waists basket we will write another
one when we learn more of thu
country, hoping that the drough
is broken in Missouri and also il
other places. Will say that W.
anxiously await the Message
every week, and will be glad t.
hear from any of our friends per
sonally.
Mr.. and K. l.. Davis and family
145 San Pablo, Ave,
Fresno, California.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1911-07-20
Funeral of Mrs. Baskin.

The body Of Mrs. j. c. V. Bas-
kin, who died at Pomona, Cali, on
July 4, arrived in Mexico for bur.
ial last Friday. The funeral was
held at the home of Mrs. Baskin s
sister here, Mrs. Elizabeth Hisey
conducted by Revs. j. A. Heading,
ton and j. o. Edmonston, burial
in Elmwood Cemetery.
A daughter of Mrs. Baskin, Mrs
Lizzie Harrison, accompanied the
remains to Mexico.
The pail bearers at the fuera
were: j. G. Lakenan, VIM. Pol
lock, W. W. Fry, Charles Glendy
Austin Cauthorn and Charles
Morris.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1911-07-20
RUSH HILL NEWS.

We were blessed with a very re-
freshing shower Saturday evening.
Farmers now believe the late plant
ed corn will make pretty
fair yield.
Prof. Edgar Lee and wife are
spending a few days with Mr..
Lees parents here.
A Miss Ruth Hill of Fulton has
been canvasSing our town, selling
bible Symbols" splendid
book for Sunday School work
The Sunday School, under the
management of Mrs. Henry Bar,
ney, is doing good work.
The German citizens have two
sermons preached every Sunday
They ought to be mighty GOOD
people, and of course they are.
On the road running east anC
west, north of Frank Erdel, Jr.
he has a corn crib full of corn, anC
a wild cherry tree standing within
10 feet of the crib was LITERAL,
torn to pieces by stroke of light
ming the other day, so near but We
so far. We wish some of the s.
called lightning rod men hand
, ling the little twisted coppe
string, would give an explanation
of this. Why did it not strike tn
crib and burn up about 800 busl
els of corn? The CRIB was a
high as the tree.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1911-07-20
THE PHILIPPINES.
Nolan v. Ellis of This County
Writes His Mother Here.

Mrs. +. A. Ellis of Mexico re
ceived a letter recently from her
son, Nolan V. Ellis, who is lst
Lieutenant with the 18th Int. at
Camp .Jossman, Tin the Phillip
pine Islands dated May u, 1911,
from which we are permitted to
CLEAN the following:
My Dear Mother:
"lIere is short letter to ac-
knowledge yours of the 1lth ult.
which | received on the 18th inst.
No news of any kind to tell
you. We get mail much oftener
now than we did when | was over
here on my last tour, lS99-l903.
1t is now probably carried by com
mercial lines as well as by all gov
ernment boats, and the result is
we get States !" mail on an aver
age of once week.
50 went over to lloilo last Fri
day. 1t is the second city of the
islands III point of population and
commercial Importance. 1t is on
the lsand of Ponay and has a good
harbor which gives it an advan-
tage over any other town in this
part of the group; | saw num-
ber of large ocean freighters be-
ing loaded with sugar, hemp, and
copra. Copra is the meaty part of
the cocOanut after the outer husk
and the shell have been removed.
"The mango season is now on.
One who has never eaten one can
not know what a delicious fruit
t is. When ripe it is of a beauti-
tul golden color; is shaped about
ike a bean, has a large flat stone,
and its bulk averages about the
same as would tree of Ben Davis
apples. Its substance, however, is
soft and bulky and it would not
stand long shipment, otherwise |
would bring you back a barrel of
them.
1t begins to look now like we