Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-11
Undoing Of Mr.. UpIift
: BY LAFAYETTE PARKS.

Il was on the roof little while tonight
looking at the stars" announces Mr.. Up
lift to young Mr. Upnft, in an effort to
bring about a closer acquaintance between
his son and heir and the heavenly bodies.
Are those danes rehearsing again over
IN Arion hall2" Son eagerly queries, turn
ing toward the stairway as II about to de-
part to the roof. This is about the time
they put on those Harem skirts" adds
young Mr.. Upllft, whose astronomical
ability is largely confined to the discovery
Of earthly phenomena
4 wish you to distinctly understand
young man. that am speaking exclusively
Of heavenly bodies" frigidly asserts
Father, furtively looking toward the din
ing room. where Mrs. Uplift is within ear
shot.
That little blonde gazelle is certainly
classy enough TO line up with bunch Of
sure thing angels" declares Son with much
enthusiasm. IF l was holding down st.
Peters job, she certainly could have a
pass key and season ticket admitting her
TO all parts Of the house"
This young woman may be all that you
say" Father admits cautiously, in a tone
OF voice so low his better half cannot hear,
air, to me a subject OF peculiar facsina-
ton"
You're not the first one, Pop, believe
me, who's gone up In the air over stars"
reminds Son. when Little Bright Eyes
OF the great White Way, gets her hypnotic
lamps on a guy, married or single, he
might just as well kiss himself goodby."
"Ss-s-h-hW warns Father, as his spouse
appears in the offing, with an alert ear.
MY excursions into the realms of astron-
omy have never led me across the foot
lights Of Broadway. The Milky Way is
not so dangerous and is just as attractive
20 me-"
Your dope on the danger zone is good, "
Son AYERS. Anybody can take a peek at
the Milky Way and wonder what the tiny
twinkling stars are twinkling about and
Il won't cost him cent. on the other
hand, sometimes she wears her wedding
ring" hlythly describes Son, nut that
fact doesn't make the White Way star
any the less attractive, but only the more
expensive TO buy food for"
The evenings have a very deceptive
length now owing TO the unusual solar
brightness" observes Father, striving &C
turn the conversation along other lines.
Maybe they Just seem longer 20 you, %
myself Along Broadway We have very
large evenings, but there's something doing
every minute. 50 they never seem TO be
long
That certainly is a peculiar phenom-
enon." admits Father.
Leave Il 20 the Big Alley 20 be there
with the freak stuff" boasts Son.
There are so many marvellous things in
the solar system" explains Father. thai
l never tire OF studying the subject"
broadway has a bunch OF systems al
its own, and the boys that frame them az
never get tired Of working EN- confides
Son.
The mystery that envelops the heavenly
stars is one OF the most ailuring features
20 me" Father declares.
~ there's any more mystery around the
sky twinklers than there Is about the
Broadway variety" informs Son. they've
q got to keep you guessing most OF the time Of
One Of the most interesting sights foI
the city dwellers.' recommends Father. ia
To watch the sun set and the evening stars
appear"
Another v6Iy pretty little stunt that ]
know 10 b an right" aaVseatas Sun. n