The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1911-05-04
COUNTRY TOWN SAYINGS.

COUNTRY TOWN SAYINGS.
From recently published book by E. W.
Howe, for many years editor OF the Atchison
(Kas) Globe and author Of 1.-THE Story Of a
Country Town.
So far as is known no widow ever
eloped.
The eternal feminine question: "How
much is it yard?'
We never could get up much enthusi-
asm over the militia.
Every woman imagines that she is an
IDEAL slckroom visitor.
There is usually enough of everything
on the table except cream.
About all some men accomplish in life
IS to send son to Harvard.
If we were woman we don't believe
we know man we'd marry.
If you want to make man very angry
get someone to pray for him.
About the ugliest creature on earth is
a tall slim boy wearing spectacles.
Nearly every unsuccessful man we
ever met was good billiard player.
We have always found it pretty good
rule to avoid an intellectual treat"
If the women had money how well
they could get along without the men!
A woman looks prettier putting baby
to sleep than she does on public plat
form.
Families with babies, and families
without babies, are so sorry for each
other.
After every picnic, whether there was
a chaperon or not, new hugglng story
comes out.
Another girl who took piano lessons,
expecting to go into society, has turned
out stenog.
Why is it that so many girls are Epis-
copalians, while their mothers belong to
other churches?
A man who never attempts to sing at
any other time will break out when in a
picnic wagon.
When a man takes off his socks you
can usually see scar on his toe where
he cut 1t as boy.
What servile creature a rich man is
when he meets a man who has more
money than he has!
When woman is on her last legs she
starts boarding house; man starts
tire insurance agency.
School ohilJra,, lourb 90 ,,,;oll,. ~ ~.
teachers jokes as church people laugh at
the jokes of the bishop.
Look at any mans clothes, and you
Will ind from seven to seventy five spots
that should be removed.
When man buys new hat he wants
one just like the one he had before. But
woman isn't that way.
Every town has its men who take
pleasure in running after other mems
hats when they blow off.
There never was a man SO patient that
it didn't make HIM mad to get line I'M
der his horses tail when out driving.
Maybe one girl in fifty has two men to
choose between, but we don't believe
the girl ever lived who had her pick of
three.
After a man has said grace at
meal some time is required for those
again.
After woman has powdered long
time her face has purple look, like
boys chin when he stays in swimming
too long.
If there were no schools to take the
children away from home part OF the
time the insane aSylums would be filed
with mothers.
What has become of the old fashioned
farmer who caught the woman school
teacher who boarded at his house and
washed her face in the snow?
woman VINO did not say to someone, at
some time, that if it wasn't for the
children she would leave him.
How sweet the short girls look when
they are seventeen or eighteen But at
ter they begin to get the middle-age
spread they don't look so sweet.
About the only excitement out in the
country is to say at the breakfast table:
1.-The dog barked last night as though
someone was proving around the
house."
Occasionally man finds his wife look
ing IN certain queer way, and when he
asks. What is the matter?" she looks
at him moment, bursts into tears, and
replies, ''Nothing'
AS soon as it is apparent that young
man is in society for the ice cream there
is in it, he should be turned out. The
object OF society is to marry young peo-
pie off, and they should pay attention to
it or stay out.
When you were boy did you have any
financial dealings with your father? II
you did, were they conducted on this
plan: Your father gave you calf. When
you had taken care Of it for some time,
and it became a COW, he sold it and put
the money in his pocket. Almost every
boy has a grievance of this kind against
his father.
SOUNDS THE WAR DRUM.