davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
The Boss
Wife
A Case Where q Woman's STRAIT.
egy is Successful
By cLARISSA MACKIE
Copyright by American Press Assoc
citation. 1911.

The Crane sat all alone on the bench
chosen to sit there because the high
singsong of the Celesda's voice lifted
in self communion was company for
him. The bunk house was empty OF
the merry crowd which had made 1t
home. One after another the tricksy
| god had ensnared the Lone Bull COW
boys until the Crane as ne was nick
named because OF has ungainly height.
was the only ole left heart free. Mar,
ried cowpunchers amt got the ginger
somehow as the bachelor ones. Can t
enjoy a iynchin nohow, and their
wiyes's always afraid they're going to
fall off and git hurt"
The Crane did the sweethearts and
wives Of his comrades rank injustice,
for each one mad all the spirit and
"ginger" of the men they loved.
"Sour grapesr leased Mrs. Clintock,
the boss wife as she listened unseen
to Gabriel's soliloquy. why don't
you get married yourself, Mr.. CraneY'
She came around the corner of the
cookhouse and sat down on the bench
beside the respondent cattleman.
Il suppose you've always been too
busy to think about marrying" began
Mrs. Clintock softly. II don't suppose
you ever saw woman you'd care to
make your wife,"
The Crane was silent for several mo
ments. He brought out another pipe
from his pocket, filed 1t with tobacco
and held 1t unlighted in his big bronzed
hand
You're mistaken there, ma'am." be
said deliberately. eff I'd had my own
way I'd have got married fifteen years
ago"
What happened2" asked Mrs Clin-
took breathlessly.
'She married another fellow" His
voice was International.
.Oh. dear. how horrid of herr'
mot If she liked him BEST" defend
ed Crane
Ibid she?''
Seems so-or she wouldn't have
married him"
you don't appear to be positive
about that fact. Were you-were you
engaged to her?"
almost"
"How near?'
"All but asking her put It Off un.
til came back from getting some cat
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31

TITO
A Satire on the Advantages For
Adoption Of a Dog Over
a Child
By Mrs. Martha Burgess
Copyright by American Press Assoc
citation. 1911.
By Mrs. Martha Burgess
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation. 1911.

John Douglas and his wife, Maria,
were not blessed with children. They
determined to adopt boy and after
having come to the resolution con-
ferred as to the most convenient age
the little fellow should be-
Il think" said John. "you'n find that
baby Will be good deal of care.
There's collie period. and the child
would have TO be brought up on some
kind of artificial baby food. and there's
| only a certain proportion OF babies
that live through their babyhood Ii
your boy dies you've had all your
trouble for nothing | think we'd bet
ter take a child seven OF eight years
old"
1T seems to me-" replied Maria,
that unless we begin at the begin
ming and progress with the child we
won't be used to him when he reaches
that age. He'll be ready for the
whooping cough and the measles and
such diseases. and we won't be ready
for him to have them"
4Ac h1dbtcT WIS ulSCuSS1O between
them for long while, Maria holding
to the baby plan. John desiring to
make the short cut Maria yielded
since she saw no way OF getting a
child at all unless she did, for John
had seen comic pictures Of men walk
ing the floor at midnight with colicky
babies and did not propose to submit
to any such strain
So they went to an orphan asylum
and asked for six year-old boy. The
matron, who had brought up family.
tried to induce them to select stolid.
slow moving little fellow who would
sit all day playing with toys. But
John preferred bright boy with an
intelligent eye. SO they took the lat
ter home with them and congratulated
themselves that they were now a fam
lily. They caiied the boy Robert.
The next morning after. breakfast,
when Maria had finished her house
hold duties. she remembered Robert
and made a search for him He was
nowhere to be found. She called for
him not only in the house. but out Of
doors. Thinking he had strayed away.
she telephoned John. who was at
business. and John reported the fact
to the police. When her mental tea
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
DEEP SEA FISH.
II They Come Too Near the Surface
sThev Will ExnIoda-

II They Come Too, Near the Surface
They Will Explode.
Ordinarily one would think that n
fish In the sea could go where it wish
ed In the water-that is, that 1t could
go as far down or come as close to
the surface as it desired. AS there
are definite natural laws that prohibit
this, of course 1t is not possible
Take a deep sea fish. 1t is under
enormous pressure at its proper depth.
Let it stray too high, however. and on
the pressure lessening the fish gets
larger and consequently lighter per
unit volume and in consequence is pro-
PEELED upward at an enormously In
creasing rate by the buoyancy OF the
water until at last 1t has to be ex-
PEELED from the surface of the sea
with great force. In the meantime
the fish has suffered an internal ex-
plosion. as 1t were. and its eyes have
popped out of its head, and its insides
have expanded and made holes in the
body. This is why there are no per-
feet specimens of deep sea fish in any
museum. The difficulty could be part
ly overcome by hauling the fish. up
gradually, but heavy weight would
have to be attached to the line to over
come the buoyancy Of the fish.
On the other hand. take shallow
water fish. 1t dares not stray too far
down, for the increasing pressure
would tend to make it heavier If it
was at all compressible, but as it is
not much so it would remain practi-
cally the same volume and would find
no difficulty In propelling itself to al
most any depth. The increasing pres
sure. however, would make it harder
for the fish to move its organs, and
its eyes would be pressed into its
head
For all these reasons there are well
defined strata of water in which GER
tain fish are found and no others. This
is one method of determining the
depth of a former sea where fossils Of
fish are found on the land. The depth
Of the sea at that place can be told
within certain limits by the FOSSILS
New York Tribune.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
<<SSs pARKER'S
1$SS3 HAIR BALSAM
f. - C1eanses and besuffes the han.
- Promotes . luxuriant growth /
o.. <y<3A Never Fails to Restore 9rayE
&QxE11 Hair 20 its Youthful Color.
2E& G &C, and 8. cost Druggisu
DANDRUFF, FALLING
HAIR STOPPED
Harmless, Old Fashioned Rem
edy Brings Back Color to Gray
Hair and Makes It Grow.

How many old-fashioned remedies are
being used, which goes to show that it
is hard to improve some of our grand
mothers old-time, tried remedies. For in
stance, for keeping the hair dark, soft AMI
glossy nothing equals our grandmother
sage tea" Although, by the addition of
sulphur and other Ingredients. this old
fashioned brew has been made more eff
fective as scalp tonic and color re
st0rer.
Nowadays, when our hair comes ont or
gets faded or gray, instead of going 10
the garden or garnet for herbs an
making the ''tea" ourselves, we simply
go to the nearest drug store and ask fos
bottle OF Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur
Hair Remedy.
Druggists are authorized to sell it
under guarantee that the money will be
refunded IL 1t fails to do exactly as rep
resented.
This preparation II offered to the
public at fifty cents a bottle, and i
recommended and sold by all druggists
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
Proper chilIs.

1--WE had cold chills running over me
ali day." the thin man complained.
you ought to be glad of that" sail
his heartless friend.
81 don't think | understand you.
Why should be glad?"
"Oh. well. you know. it is quite an
ordinary thing TO have cold chills.
There's no cause for alarm. Just
think what an extraordinary thing ii
would be If you should have hot chlIls
running over you"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
A DOUBLE
PART
II Was Played by a Russian Revo.
lutiOnist With Serious Results
By PETER VALOvITCH

l began my career as a revolution
list by acting as a pretended spy for
the government Working in secret
on two sides found to be doubly
perilous On one occasion made a
narrow escape from being put out of
the way by the very men was serv-
ing. was working in the interest of
the prime minister or pretending to
work in his interest and at the same
time was a member of a secret revolu-
ttonary circle. In order to guard
against danger from the circle / chose
one of its members, Michael Orloff, for
my confidant. trusting to him in case
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
Sour on the Eiqhts.

Eight cent postage stamps are hoo
docs" said postal official. None OF
the small offices handle them If they
can help it. It's this way: They are
just wee shade different in color
from the ones. and it is no infrequeut
thing for stamp clerk in a hurry to
hand out lot Of Fights when ones
are asked and paid for. 1t always
costs him cents a stamp when he
does it. The clerk here the other day
during the rush hour. when the offices
are closing. was called upon for dol
lars worth Of ones. He handed out a
hundred Fights instead. Cost him 81.
Then he got rid Of all the rest Of the
Fights, and now he won't have any
thing TO do with eights-even says
eaten instead Of ate. New York
Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31

Il SHALL ALWAYS LOOK ON wIMMEN
WITH AWE
tie over the Second ranges. and when
came back she'd married travelling
salesman and gone away"
LET me see. the Second ranges are
in Idaho" hazarded Mrs Clintock
eyes"
~ suppose you were cow punching
them
STEADY"
oscar Newton's place is near the
Second ranges. he married my cou-
sin"
saThat's where worked"
'.The nearest town is Antelope" ven-
tured Mrs. Clintock. one eye on Cranes
thoughtful face.
He turned pair of humorous gray
eyes to hers. You oughter been a
detective" he said quietly.
ri ought to be up at the big house
this very moment" cried the boss wife
breathlessly 'T believe ] hear the
baby crying" She hurried up the
slope to the large lighted house. paus-
ing III tuC 7Gt dbNAd " CaH 0OW1 W
the lonely figure on the bench. ''Why
don't you come up here and set the
monograph going? No need to sit
down there alone"
"Mebbe ] viii by and by" said the
Crane.
Mendacious Mrs. Clintock peeped In
at the slumbering baby. set the lamp
on her writing desk and drew sheet
Of paper toward her. The letter she
wrote was dotted with interrogation
marks. 1t was addressed to Oscar
Newton's wife and its destination was
Antelope. Ida.
She thrust record into the phono-
graph. wound up the crank and ae 1t
tinkled forth the strains of Loves
Old Sweet Song" she hurried down
the hill toward Jim Lewis house do
you mind going up and sitting with
the baby. Mr.. CraDef I've got to go
down to Lewis They're going to the
mail to send along"
"Ill take the letters down to jim"
proposed Crane obigingly.
''Oh. no. no.. laughed Mrs CliBtock.
you look after baby and be sure
and don't wake him up"
The Lord forbidr' calculated Crane.
stuffng his pipe In his pocket
When Mrs. Clintock returned the big
cattleman was endeavoring to hush
the lusty cries Of the infant Clintock
Here. ma'am," he said rendering the
squirming baby to its mothers out
stretched arms. Il shall always look
on wilnmen with awe. ma am, Jest for
the way they can turn OF the music
with a word. been talking Dutch to
this Teller for half hour, and he only
bawls back at me-"
Mothers precious!" soothed Mrs
Clintock. and the precious Immediately
placed rosy thumb In his mouth and
closed his blue eyes contentedly.
1T does beat allr' calculated Crane
admiringly.
What woke him up7" demanded
Mrs Clintock with sudden suspicion.
for she had detected look of tender.
ness in Cranes eyes. HE was sleep
ing IKE lamb when ! left"
II looked at him." confessed the
Crane sheepishly. II thinks to myself.
cat can look at king. and l guess
cattleman kin look at calf baby"
You didp't touch himT persisted
Mrs Clintock
II guess hypnertized him like that
Trilby feller.'' evaded Crane
'-Trilby was GIRL" corrected the
boss wife. cuddling the baby under
her round chin. did you touch that
baby, Theodore Cranef"
Crane REDEEMED to his ears. BLAINE
IT ALL" he complained. Il did. If you
must know. | looked at him. ma'am.
and he looked SO consumed cute a-iay-
ing there sucking his thumb. kissed
the little cuss and he woke up and
. howied at me-"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
RUBBER CANNON BALLS.
A Worlds Fair Exhibit That Puzzled
Louis Napoleon.

A Worlds Fair Exhibit That Puzzled
Louis Napoleon.
An instance of the obsession Of the
mind by one idea is seen in ludi-
crous mistake made by Louis Napo-
leon in 1855 at worlds fair held in
Paris while he was emperor. He had
been trained to war, and he could not
see strange object without regard
ing it in relation to war. The head
of the United States commission at
the exhibition was MaunselI B. Field.
who tells in his Memoirs of Many
Men" how greatly disturbed the en-
peror was by an American invention,
The commissioner was present at a
reception held at the palace
1.-THE emperor approached me and
remarked that he had that afternoon
walked through our department of
the expositfon--this was just before it
was open to the public-that he had
seen many things there which inter
ested him. but that nothing had so
much pleased him as the exhibition
of vulcanized india rubber. Among the
articles he had noticed something
which had puzzled him ever since
He very much regretted that / was
not present at the time of his visit.
Here l interrupted him to say that
l very much regretted it myself and
that If he had sent me an intimation
Of his purpose l should have been
certain to attend.
WELL he answered. in one corner
/ saw. stacked as one sees them in an
artillery yard, pile of vulcanized in
dia rubber cannon balls. There was
nobody there to answer the inquiries
which desired to make. Perhaps you
can explain the matter to me-
Il had not even seen the balls in
question and had to say so.
81 cannot imagine. resumed his
majesty how any preparation Of in
dia rubber can be used for projectiles.
1t has often occurred to me that. in
combination with other materials. it
might be made useful for defensive
purposes
81 was compelled to admit that it
was equally mysterious to nue. how the
inventor could have thought seriously
of making cannon balls of it. After so
unsatisfactory an Interview the emper-
or probably did not think that it would
be civil to leave me Immediately, so he
asked me If | took much interest in
military matters. answered that 1
did not any more than civilians usual
" do.
II was at that time rssf1:E9 very
near the Palace of Industry. The next
morning went over before breakfast
for the purpose Of getting information
upon the subject which had so puzzled
the emperor went directly to the
india rubber exhibit. and. sure enough.
l found the balls there just as they
had been described to me. 1t was too
early for me to expect to see the ma
in charge. but there was a person 2
bis place. ! asked what in the world
he expected to do with india rubber
cannon balls.
"'They are not cannon balls he an
swered; they are footballsP"
Correct.
Professor-What bone Is this?
Pupil-Er-um-the bone Of some
thing dead--Paris Rire.
Judicial Oath.
Administration of an oath In judicial
proceedings was introduced into Eng
land By the Saxons in 900.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
The Best He Could Do.

Now, gentlemen said the stage
manager at rehearsal, II want you all
to wear your heavy overcoats in this
scene. as it is supposed to be an ex-
tremely chilly night"
Il have no overcoat. SIR" replied one
OF the actors. Then bright thought
struck him. But could put on my
heavy underwear" Boston Transcript
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
The Modern Way.

The prodigal had returned.
Father" he said. 'are-you going to
kill the fatted calf?"
NO" responded the old man, look
ing the youth over carefully-'no: I'll
let you live. But I'll put you to work
and train some of that fat of you. -
Toledo Blade
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
Burlington and Bristol Steamboat
and Ferry Company

Schedule in effect $40 a. M, Oct. 9th. 1911
and Sundays.
LEAVE BRISTOL FOR BURLINGTON.
640 500, 500. 1000 10.40 II. Is g. m IL 3d. I3O ESQ
$50. 4.S0, $50, $40, p. m.
LEAVE BURLINGTON FOR BRISTOL.
$50 $50, $50, 10 HOO, 1880, M, LOO, zoo, 800
40. 500. $50, $50. p. m.
SATURDAYS
1890 l30, 40, $780, $40 40, 500. $40, 640 s7.20
D. m. Leave Burlington ESQ, $50. $50. 1920
loo ll.80, 100. 200 240. 32O, 100, 40. $50
$50. $50, s7.sO, p. M
Leave Bristol 20. 800, 1000. 1910, Ills. a. m.
1880, l.8O, 20, 400, 840 40 500, $40 6.40 TAO
D. M. Leave Burlington $50, $50, 10 20 Hoo,
fl.S0. q. m. LOO, zoo. 40. $40, 400, 40, $50
$50 $50. $50. p. m.
The trips marked thus % will be withdrawn
on and after December LIST.
The last boat from Bristol on Saturdays win
leave at GAO p. M. and the last boat from
Burlington ON Saturdays will leave at $50 O. M.
On Thanksgiving Day the trips will be as
Saturdays time table.
The boat for the performances In the Audi
torium viii leave Bristol at 7.40 p. m, return
after the performances.
November 18th, 1911, the 1000 O'Clock morn.
Ing trip nom Bristol will be withdrawn and
the boat will leave Bristol at go O. M.
Winter schedule will go into effect on
december IL, 1911; sooner II there is Ice In the
river: No trips Will be guaranteed In foggy
weather.
WILLIAM K DORON
Secretary, Treasurer and General Manager
Call Independent Telephone, Burlington, N.
- via Keystone; Nos. 69-D or i04-D Bristol,
and 267-D Burlington.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
Not Full erie.

'Gladys is very strict in her ideas
about the appropriate touch in dress
rs she?n
80 much so that when her half
sister died she would not wear any
but half mourning Baltimore Ameri-
can.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
One on the Miri.ter

Rev. Tubthumer-I'ye been preach
ing this morning to congregation of
asses. Lily Sugarstick- Yes; ! noticed
you called them beloved brethren
London Tit Bits.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31

To enjoy true happiness is tmpos-
sible while those about us ara un-
happy.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31
DIR. ATWOOD
| DENTIST

rs Main Street, Mount Holly, N. J..
Filings OF all kinds. Teeth with or without
plates, crown and fridge work. Teeth regu-
lated. Plates repaired. Nitrous oxide gas
administered. Teeth extracted In your own
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-10-31

PROFESSIONALISM bone is this?
! Pupil-Er-um--the bone Of some
thing dead.-Paris Rire.
I Judicial Oath.
Administration Of an oath In judicial
proceedings was introduced into Eng
land By the Saxons in 600
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09
BeSf Times in
Precious Meets

Is the better man with a record OF 4.23.
Lawless was fourth In the intercollegiate
championships when Jones set up his new
world record. but he was not faster than
i:2l or 40
In the high jump Garfield. Of Yale. has
a mark OF . feet. though he has frequently
been beaten at feet 10 inches. England $
best man IS Dubois. Of Cambridge. who
against oxford did 3 feet S.. inches. In
the English climate the men VIII compete
on practically even terms, althoush Can
field should have a slight advantage ln
the broad jump Holden. % Yale. has a
mark OF % fect inches. or nearly one foot
better than Hartley. Of oxford. who did u
Kfpatrlck also OF Yale, can jump close 10
e feet. 80 that the Americans are pracu-
caily sure Of winning this event.
The hammer throw Is always an uncer-
tain event. but here the Englishmen have
Il slight advantage. In the oxford Cam
bridge games Putnam. OF oxford, another
American Rhodes scholar. made new rns 4.
fish record OF l53 feet inches. Gable, Of
Harvard has done the best work Of The
however. Is an inconsistent performer, for
at the intercollegiate championshps he was
not able TO qualify with throw or IN feet
rbildS OF Yale. was third Ia the intcrcol-
legiates with throw OF ~ feet.
The superiority of America in the hur-
dies should land Chisholm OF Yale, the
winner I'm the l20-ydrd event Chisholm
has twice won the intercollegiate champlon
ship and this year won IN IL 2-5 seconds.
Against him will be Phillips, OF CambtidSe:
who I'm the meet with oxford did 10 Id
seconds
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09

Campbell defeated &. G.. Wlitts and p. W.
Giffins, i-6, 6-3. 6-S. A return match. I'm
which the New Workers will compete I'm
Philadelphia. is planned for later in the
season.
The summary follows:
New York philadelphia singles Wvlie G.
Grant. New York, defeated ii. NJ Tilden Phila
delpha, &c. Is. "a, j. II. Carpenter, it,.
Philadelphia, defeated :. 4. Nestfall New
York. "a. i-d, Sc. calhoun Cragin New
York. defeated &. &. Willitts. Philadelphia rs
&c %: Hugh Tallant. New York. defeated
T. W. Pearson. Philadelphia, 6-I ia, s.
Howard Noshel New York defeated William
Jordan, Philadelphia, 6-4 G-l; III. T. Roberts
New York, defeated l.. s. oliver. Philadelphia
6-4, 81. G-3; Walter l.. Pate. New York de
feated J. *. Willing. Phuadelphla, 90 g
6-1: J. y Thayer, Philadelphia defeated A. =
Cragin, New York. g. d--3; f. W. Giffins
Philadelphia, defeated Miles & Charlock, New
York. 3-6. 6-3, 81; H. ". Boggs New York
defeated j. q. Roper. Philadelphia. Ga. Ga
Doubles-Westfall and GIANT. New York. de
feated Tiden and Carpenter, Philadelphia, "a
So; Calhoun cragin and A. &. Cragin, New
York, defeated Jordan and Pearson. Philadel-
phia. G-3, 20, G-l Noshell and r. c. Eaggs
Now York. defeated oliver and Willing. Ihia
delphIa, 6-3. 90. %; Roberts and Camp
bell, New York. defeated Willis and Gif
ms, philadelphia, SO 8--3. 60; Pate and
Boggs New York, defeated Thayer and Roper
Philadelphia, Cd. e-l.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09
Athletes Nay
Win Big Meet Abroad
Test Will Come on Tues
day with Both Teams
Full of Confidence.

Opinion is divided among close followers
~ track and field athletics IN this country
concerning the chances Of the fale-Har-
ward team I'm the International INTERIOR
egiate meet with the picked athletes OF
oxford and Cambridge in England on
Tuesday Some are optimistic and are
counting on a victory for the American
forces by a safe margin. while others eX-
press doubt as to the ability Of tho Ameri-
cans TO make more than fair showing.
While not representative Of the fun
strength of the college athletic world, the
team Is well balanced and reasonably
strong. The men will he handicapped TO
some extent by changed climatic condi-
lions and by being forced TO compete I'M
der strange surroundings. but reports iio"
the other side indicate that with one cN-
ception they are in excellent condition ana
Quietly confident Of the outcome AZ
things considered then the chances ap-
pear 10 be reasonably bright for another
international victory, more particularly a.
on best performances the Americans aP-
pear 10 have a slight advantage.
The teams have met on three OCCASIONS
and the record 10 date is against the Eng
fish athletes by two sets OF games 10
one. Only first places count uniform
rule in Great Britain. otherwise the Amer
leans would have won all three meets In
1893 oxford and Cambridge won IN Eng
land. by points to T. In 1901 the score
was 10 2 I'm favor Of Harvard and Yale
the games being held at old Berkeley oval
here while in 1904 the result was exactly
the same, this time in England.
eane statistician has compiled the ng-
,ros ON the basis of first, second, third
and fourth places counting as III the INV
collegiate games here. and whiIe ah'i.n'
his,orv ibev will bear repeating at this
time.