The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-12
NOT A FIT SON-IN-LAW.
lie Displayed Several Traits Which
 Grimes Did Not Approve Of.
Chicago News )

So you want to marry my daugn- ter, eh?" asked Grimes, regarding the young man before him with disfaVor. You are a candidate for a responsl.- bic position as my son-in-law, hey . Well, I can't say that 1 am favoraplv impressed. I have been aware Tor some time that you were paying at tentions to Genevieve and nave stuu- jed you closely, and you don't appeal to me worth a cent"
 Why, MT. Grimes, I have no oao habits---''
 NO bad habits. And only last night, I heard you speaking of the varsity ninel A man who uses such a word as varsity can't have any daughter of mine while i have shot with the good old American word university? When I hear a young man say varsity I always feel that he uses talcum powder and winter green chewing gum on the sly.
 Ut will be no trouble to quit using me your reason for rejecting me IS a queer one.
 It's only one of many reasons, young man. AS I said, l have ob- served you narrowly, and l am not at all pleased. I shall never give my consent to the marriage of my daugh- ter with a youth who wears yellow shoes Why should any man wear yellow shoes and look like a blamed pelican? Black shoes cost no more than yellow ones, and q man with black shoes on his feet doesn't look like a Fourth of July celebration.
 II hate to see young man try to make himself conspicuous and there nothing that attracts more unfavor- able attention than yellow shoes.
 You come to my house with such footwear and then add insult to in- t1a afcH nf ~ e. kers in front of your ears. If there s anything I detest it's dncipient side whiskers If you must wear whis- kers wear a mans kind of whiskers. Don't come to my house wearing those little patches and expect me to beautiful and accomplished daugh- ter.''
 MT. Grimes, your objections seem frivolous. If there is anything against my character
 "Oh, hang your character. The young man of these times thinks he must answer every requirement. if he doesn't smoke or gamble or go to bed with his socks on. I judge d man charac cter by the little things, the things which are overlooked by too many parents. You may have your pockets stuffed with testimonials showing that you are a shining ex- ample of virtue, but I can't forget the fact that you try to sing tenor with a baritone voice. I haven't much faith in the discretion or good sense of young man who thinks he can sing tenor when he can't. l never was so shocked as when you stood up at the piano the other night and tried to join in the chorus of Every Little Movement with a voice that needed oiling the worst way. I don't believe my daughter ever could be happy with a husband who would try to sing tenor when he hasn't the equipment for it.
 Recently, as you remember, I had occasion to visit your room, and I can't tell you how deeply pained I was when I saw a copy of African Game Trails by Roosevelt, on your reading ta ble. There is something wrong with any young man who will waste his time reading such book. You have your way to make in the world, sir How much do you expect to accomplish if you sit around reading such literature. What have Afri- can game trails go to do with pro- viding for wife who has beeen rear ed in the lap of luxury? The right kind of 2 young man would be read ing Thirty Years in Wall Street. or