davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09
A Gretna Green Going.

A ministerial association in the Vir-
ginia-Tennessee city of Bristol has
adopted resolutions intended to break up
the marrying of eloping couples. which
has for years been a lively, not to say
a profitable, industry among the clergy
men Of that place. The city, being
divided nearly in half by the line between
refuge for those who wished to evade
the haraSsing laws of either State.
For example, If a lovelorn swain in one
of the lower counties of Virginia should
meet his princess there on a visit, but
whose home was in Alexandria County,
he could lawfully marry her in the State
only with a license duly obtained in the
county of her residence, and there, where
the girl would probably be known, he
could not deceive the clerk as to her
age, and might not be able to secure
her parents consent to her marriage
with a stranger. Therefore. he adopts
the simple expedient of going to the Ten
nessee side of Bristol. where such things
could be arranged without any of that
Inconvenience and red tape so blasting
to the bloom of true romance. In the
same manner, the Virginia side became
city of refuge for a young man who
wished to steal a Tennessee girl. They
were usually met at the train by certain
marrying parsons who made a speciality
of tying the knot-beau-knot, belie-knot,
or what not. Presumably there were
ments for hire, and all other requisites
for a wedding which might be pulled
OF with no hitch. except that which
Joined the errant couple. Not infre-
quently, irate parents, brothers, guard
ians. &c, were hot upon the trail of the
headlong lovers. In that case, 1t was
necessary for the officiating clergyman
to rush the marriage with as much speed
as might be consistent with effectual
clinching of the bonds and the collection
of suitable fee. Perhaps, also, in des-
perate cases. it would be necessary to
employ decoys. blinds, &C.. in order to
divert the pursuers from a course which
might wreck the ministerial hopes. All
of these things we have gathered from
hearsay, and not from persehal ex-
perience. We hope they have been exag-
gerated. We might even attempt to ex-
agserate them ourselves. II We knew
how.
Now 1t seems that an end is to be
put to all Of this romantic stampede.
There are to be no more marriages on
the run. as they ny. and by the by. at
Bristol. All couples will be required to
stand still long enough to be hitched.
The wedding party win no longer appear
like participants In q Marathon race.
The monopoly heretofore enjoyed by two
or three enterprising parsons b to Be
broken up tn BRISTOL. and the city IL to
be NO longer remembered With bitter im-
precat1ons. b. psnitsnts. = tie scsoe Of
their matrimeniAl blundssA
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

Wu Ime-fang, Chinese diplomat, so
well known in Washington. has headed a
party Of LEO prominent Chinese who are
to cst of their queues on January Il
Ih1s does progress begin at the ton
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

Some of the London newspapers declare
that they found that our American sailors
looked hahituaIly sad. The probability is
they have been reading the London comic
paporS
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

Orville Wright says. I'VE don't 90
to Europe for ideas in flying" Nor
for ideas in falling either.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

That Indianapolis editor who suggests
that II DR.. Cook is sincere he ought to
give hack the money he got for lecturing
probably went in to hear the lent1ne on
a pass
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

New York is to have a new statue Of
George Washington. That one in front
of the subtreasury is probably over
worked watching Wall street
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

Thomas Edison spent Christmas Day
in bed. That shows what joy 1t is to
be really rich.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

In spite Of the fact that he resigned.
Mr.. w. e. Corey. OF the steel trust. seems
to be much in the attitude Of ex-King
Manuel Of Portugal.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

When Senator Clark moves into that
new 100000 home OF his an appropriate
welcoming tune to play would be There's
No Place Like Home"
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

Senator Depew win live in Paris. it is
said. when his term in the Senate ex-
pires. Will these French disasters never
cease?
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

'The tariff needs thinkers" says Chan
cellor Day. That man nearly missed
making a good epigram. He should have
said tfnIkefs.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

London newspaper declares that
American women are overdressed. No,
on the stages of some theaters.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

But their delay in finding it out VIII prob
ably not help the two or three anarchists
who were killed.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

That statistfcian who has figured out
that the birth-rate will cease entirely by
the year oo15 will. at least. not be in a
position to say II told you So"
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

The Wright brothers not only say but
prove that they are for safe and sane
aviation. You VIII notice that they let
the other fellows do the flying.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

What with the fight on the lords and
the battles with anarchists. our British
cousins seem to be enjoying the holidays
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

1t will not be forgotten that it was the
medieval and ''fossilized" United
States Supreme Court that squelched Mr..
RooSevelt's libel suit.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09
Gev. Johnso.'s Pre.aest Nay.

From The BulAlo Tmsa
Minnesota Il to erect q monument to
the late Gov. John A. Johnson. Suitable
inscriptions for the pedestal are being
considered. There - . strong sentiment
in favor Of insribing Johnson's proud
est day" After he had made his great
impression at the meet1ng Of the Gridiron
Club IN Washington. and hin name be-
came freQuent In mention - the Demo
cratic candidate for Presidsnf. he was
aslned on his return u Il Was NOT his
proodegt day. mo. II was not" ~ re-
piled. Pfeased to ten what Il Wass AFTER
much hesitation. - rsluctnntly sid:
Tho prpudest day q my NE wqs whsn
went home Ga<Wday night With my
lnko u Wu1n11t am1a Ne<hlaG -
esqe naie keeolf nl1 - lqElcto
- - u0ns - ~ - - ssees4- 4 :. ~
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

A di6~sncs between m opeimist and
. ps.sinist = that the cns hcpss and the
oth0r hepa.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09
Ayoe. Gamers Be.efaetors.

Fun the New York sum.
We are permitted to mako public the
name of the lady in india who has In
formed the Hon. Joseph Quincy Cannon
that he II to receive $2,5oo.Oo0 on the
death OF certain generous edmirer In
that country. The lady II the Begun
of Jumboputna. q native state between
Cashmere and Caiicot. and the 'generous
donor u her brother, the Tsetotnm Of
Sskkim. the leading capriculfuFsst m
NoFthern India.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
LOOKS THAT WAY.

LOOhS THAT WAY.
If orchids cost a cent apiece,
They'd never 60;
And cut-rate terrapin would cease
To please US so.
But terrapin. at five a plate,
Wed like to buy:
And orchids are considered great
When coming high.
To price our fancy ever clinss
Upon my word.
We only seem to value things
We can't afford.
In Dead Earnest.
Il believe that girl is set on a stage
career"
"oh. these amateur Juliets soon get
over it,
But she's learning to carry a spear
gracefully"
Various Ingredients.
"A cyclone over our way had live fish
in it"
That's nothing. Our section is so
prosperous that recent cyclone was
just crowded with imported bulldogs"
The Outcome.
Il told him he was dead foolish to he
engaged to three girls simultaneously"
How did it turn out?'
"As you might expect His EXPENSES
were such that he got so far behind with
his board that he had to marry his land
lady
About This Time.
1t Is really most unpleasant
At the postman's ring you thrill.
But it's no belated present.
Just pesky Christmas bill.
His Attitude.
Then you don't like bridger'
"oh. III play it. but I won't talk the
language"
Ten Thousand . Chance.
I've have plenty Of millionaires out in
our State. but contributions are slow
for the proposed new capitol"
"Ofrer something. Get up q ranie for
Senatorship.''
Az II Impressed Hin.
How about the Nile? Great. ehr'
Yes: as remember. it took up several
pages In the guide-book.''
Half-eent Coin.
Ffm the Cleveland Lesdee.
The idea OF the half cent - currency
has not in the past harmoni3sd with
American notions. Fractional currency
as small Is that has seemed too insig-
nifcant to bother with. But American
notions OF the value Of things are chang
ing. and 1t Is probable that an effort
will be made in the next Congress to
add the half cent to the country's coin
age. The lack Of the half cent In our
money undoubtedly costs the consumers
Of the United States millions Of dollars
every year. Composition has become %
keen In business that producers and
middlemen figure their prices down to
thA 6nant noint -. - Z.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09
Half-eent Coin.
Ne Dasere1it, ;. sAe Any,

Rfua ths Nsw YMk Amsstnns
5 The mayor Of Kansas City, q wheeling
N ceatnhnce prohibiting leae Aayma.
doe3arod that the Who5o ae1l1 oouonnsl
enfusep & Which = ceglinE -
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09
wan Lsse 11Aeas HaaR.

Hun ~ ~ Yuk Anssiaan.
Dr. Bsuwnell of vAndsrbllt Hospital
says that women Win soon lose their hair
ff theV psfsset b wearing rats ana puma
Aysnt - AnapukD Wug4 = - e11s,1ge
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

rhs Lselen pG1les admk thas m ~
anazsni1k spesw - - . sts1A
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09
POLITICAL CHAT.

From the New York Sun.
The State Of Pennyivann is practically out OF
debt-Philadephia PrcA
II is better to be poor than to be wicked.
From the New York Sun,
The Democrats already in a jnmle over
committee Appointments and everything indicates
that the general Democratic row predicted BY Re
pubhcans is not far on
From the Cummnn1
The ptutoaatic meB b nov busily ensaeed IN
its quadrennial tszk Of selecting the Presidential
tickets Of the tso leadins parties. Its advine may
b taken By the Rephbaicans but it ennot sfeak
for ths DemnGats-the 1mraign o 1904 Is too
fresh in the minds of the rank and file Of the
party.
From the Bnton Trans1ir
Gov. Shafroth, of Colorado will tnrn bark At
the end Of the biennial tenn, bstween 5000 and
$4,000 Of une1psnded arEruprntiona. something
unprecedented in tho States history. He 10 the
man Who refused a reelection to Congress when
he had reason to believe it was secured b. cprruu
voting.
From the Chicago RecurdHerah
We haven't the shghtrt desie to defend Mnnpis
There is rottez,neas in Illinois pUiitis in Pennsy-
vsnia politics. in Ohio pplitios. in New Yosk poll
tics. and this is proved by notorious facts by
recent expnsureA It is the duty Of tho cti.ens ot
all the States to recognize the facts and to cut
out the rutteuDeB!
From the New York Sun.
The total Demn1atic representation IN both
branches Of the New York legislature will be liz
Ffftyeight votes will control the Senatorial ca1cuA
New York County has elected thirtynine Demo
cratic senator's and asemhlymen and Kings County
twenty-five. a total Of axty-fum. Thae txo cum
ftpS tha1rA finn
From the New York World.
Whatever faults the new administration Of New
York City may have developed Or inherited, what
ever mistakes it may have made, however much
honest opinion among. the citizens may disagree
held public respect II has Displayed energy and
resource 1t has intsdhsently sought ecuDomy and
efficiency.
From the Ohio State Journal
Mr.. DeIthick. At the Fedezation Of Teachers
meeting. opposed tho idea Of national inoume and
inheritance tax Lawn, declaring that the State
should pass those laws and that It should have
the benefit d such revenues. Put to a risid
analysis. it msans that these revenues shall be
used for schools and good ru.de. instead Of for
cannon and wzr shipA
From the New Orleans TnnesDemncat
The chances are that tho Senate win asree to
amendment to the Constitution providing for
the popular election of United States Senatora
Twcntyseyen Of the forty-six States have declared
in favor Of this measure. Tventy-esht States hold
their sesaons next month, and it Is believed that
diffculty will be encountered in getting frnm
among these tho -four additional aprEovals that are
required.
From the Detroit Ffee PreA
New Jersey i thr7tened by ths Old Rspuhai.n
machine with q snbvusion Of tho popular vots By
which Maritime chosen. In Illinois L1Fimef vas
chosen in a manner that involved . scandal, in
spite Of the popular majority Of his rival. In
Massachusetts, the dia1edited machine is trying
to foist Lodge upon tho State once more In spite
of the curious rebuke rendered the reactionaries
by the people.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09
THE COLLEGE YELL.

From the Philadelphia Pres.
Perhaps the COLLEGE, yell viii be suppressed. but
it will hardly he as long young men haze
spirits to bao~ OF and lungs to blow them on with.
From tho Chicago Record Herald.
President LoweIl's attack the music Of din
ncs and gatherings Of college men. including solid
middieased alumni. is welcome to cumposefs
and music lovers as it is unexpected.
From the Ne~ York Tribune.
President Lowell has made some denrecatory Ne
marks about organized cheering at intercollegiate
s1meA At a football game such exercise often has
the hyxicnic merit Of keeping . chilled spectator
cumf0tabay warm.
Ffm the Buffalo Commercial
The ine1onble. dammble iteration Of the meaan-
choiy mooins Of the dying CIV. suggested BY the
fog horn in ccmmiskn. is = wearineD to the besh.
to be sure. But the fog horn Is not to blame.
while the young gentlemen who admire organized"
that is, mechania-chesring are free agents.
From the Pntsbury Dispatch
Why ehoud tho popular TASTE in music b e1-
rscted to be 80 much finer than the popular taae
in literature. the drama, art. or architecture! We
arc a long vay from the literary millennium, yet
because the average man prefers the sporting page
to the classics. he is not necessarily branded =
barbarian.
From the Troy Times.
The president Of Harvard University has come
out in denunciatiou Of the college cheer and the
agtime music that is usually provided at col
loRe reunions. And some Of the heads Of educa-
tional institutions object to giving much time
and attention to football and other SPORTS Are al
the old college traditions to be swept away!
From the Boston Transcript.
II Is opsn to colleges to protest that musical
education il the function Of the public Schools It
is open to the public schools to protest that Amer
icans lin 70 far as they arc of Puritan stoc) arc
naturally unmniczl There ID. taking the country
a . whole vefy little discriminating muAiol t,ste.
and the average college 10 doing comparatively lit
tie to cultivate It.
From the New York Word.
II vas to the strains Of "A Hot Time IN the Old
Town that we embarked our career Of i'm
perialim, and ragtme Is preferred at pubic din
pe, it Is because the new, note ID the popular
one, Let the Mngvmps and the little Amsrions
STICK to Wagner they will. Ths 0eat heszt Of
the people throts to ragtizne. 1t b world power
muic even If 1t does not suit college presidents
From the Philadelphia Record.
In Boston, wh9s they tuna TIE hsnd oeslnA
teach the street hautsn bow to dng. and Instruct
ths trulley.zr conductors how To announce the
next stre.G % that tho passenger 10 In dAng9 q
bsing charmed b ths music and gstting carried by
his corner. the uusideAt of Harvard Univezity DE-
paoreD ths culegs yell Of cuufse. It would b moss
uracal he nndnts would sng ''Fsir Harvard" "
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09
Business. Interests Control Politics

Business Interests Control Politics.
From Dr.. Wilson'S Address to Jersey Voters
DO you know what is true of the spe-
cial interests at this moment? They have
got their baggage packed. and are ready
to strike camp overnight, provided they
think it is profitable TO them to come
over to the Democratic party. They are
waiting to come over, bag and baggage,
and take possession Of the Democratic
party.
"win they be welcomed? Do you want
them? -
Business interests are involved in this
matter and not political principles. These
business interests intend. If they can. to
own any organisation that is the govern
ing organization in the affairs Of America.
Il pray God we may never wake up
some fine morning and find them In
camp on our side.
This system consists in an uhhofy al
lance between business and politics.
Politics under this system Is considered
the means Of securing and promoting
certain financial and business interests.
Wherever the greatest power b brought
to bear. the greatest power of money. the
greatest power of individual influence.
there politics IL made to yield.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09
r-ll Of Saeaning.

Richard Croker, during his last visit %
this country. and . few days before his
departure for Florida. was the guest OF
bnnor ct dinner a4 the St Regis
Z Ar. Croker. prafsing Judge Gaynors
oratoey. aid: "Eils oratory b % con-
ciss. He packs 30 much meaning into .
few words. He b like the old clerk
whose master said to him. John. that's
: very shabby once coat you're vssr-
I'M = So
Eye. ~. said the osd cless4 us41-,
IinGavs Z gpe In eua4 ~ - - \! &; . =!
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09


Senator Depew at a dinner in New York
praised q turkeys mushroom studns.
These mushrooms he concluded, re
mind me Of an incident that occurred
while was abroad in the autumn.
"You know that on an English train
the passengers are locked in small COM
partments, and there Is an emergency
signal for them to pull in case the train
must be stopped.
We'll the signal was pulled one au-
tumn day, and the train, with great
grinding Of brakes. came to a sudden
stop. and guards and conductor. pale
with horror. ran up and down the car
riages to see what terrible thing had
happened.
'aThey found. In q rearmost carriage,
an old woman leaning far out Of the
window. waving her arms and her um-
brella excitedly.
What's the matter. madam? Why
did you stop the train? they asked her.
"'You fools.' she answered: why
didn't you stop before? We just passed
two Of the finest mushrooms I've seen
this many "a year.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

Lord washington, who has decided TO
place his estate Of Aldwark Manor under
the hammer. Is one Of the most learned
members Of the peerage. one Of the finest
entomologists Of the day, and a fellow of
many learned societies. His interest in
agricultural science, no less than de-
sire to foster industry in this country,
once led him to attempt. the growing Of
tobacco; but the chancellor of that day
looked unkindly at the experiment. re-
fused permission for further work, and
even sent inspectors to insure that the
stems Of the old tobacco plants were
burned and not converted into snun.
Lord Walsingham. with the single excep-
ton Of the King, perhaps. is said to be
for having accounted for 1,070 grouse in
fifteen hours. and on another occasion
with having Knocked down S42 birds with
1.100 cartridges. But the story Of his be-
ing able to shoot wasps on the wing Is
absurd. He u too earnest an entomolo-
sist to attempt such ridiculous feat.
A municipal councillor Of the city Of
Vienna. who bears the euphonious name
Of Philip has added to the luster Of his
patronymic by fnterpellating the burgo-
master upon the length Of ladies' hat
pins. Herr Philip averred that the follies
Of fashion now went 50 far that the pub
lie safety was In peril. He referred To
steps already taken at Berlin and Buda-
pest, and asked what the burgomaster
intended TO do In defense Of the bodily
safety Of the male sex.
The burgpmastsr. Dr.. Neumayer, who
b . venerable gentleman. agreed with
the interpellator that the hetpin nuisance
-hs employed expressions q strong -
ssunpltte, {" ssumfuG,-was danger to man
kin6 ord announced that he would traps-
nit Her philpfs inquiry to the police,
Rwith the roo,nset that ''vigorous action n
|takea 6e11 ~ Aec1orah,e eyIl
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

Ine outcome.
Il told him he was dead foolish to be
engaged to three girls simultaneously"
How did it turn out?'
"As you might expect. His expenses
were such that he got so far behind with
his board that he had to marry his land
lady"
The Washington herald., 1911-01-09

As IL Impressed Hin.
How about the Nile? Great. eh?''
Yes: as I remember. 1t took up several
pages In the guide-book."
The Washington times., 1911-09-15

he was not a chemist So ii actually
turned out that in hundreds of cases the
vote of a lawyer, who never worked an
hour in a chemical laboratory in his
life, decided questions Of the most in
tricate and technical scientific charac-
ter.
But this was not all; indeed. it was
hardly a beginning. DR.. Dunlap and
Mr.. McCabe uniformly lined up for the
ment of the law and its penalties. DIR.
Wiley testified that whenever he dis
agreed with one of his associates on
the board he was sure to find that he
was disagreeing with both of them!
After a time. another move was
The entire business of prosecuting cases
under the food and drug act was taken
away from the board, and from DR..
Wiley, and turned over to Solicitor Nc
Cabe. Thus Mr.. McCabe became the
sole authority in all matters of legal
procedure. Even If Drs. Wiley and
Dunlap should agree, as a matter of
scientic fact that a violation of the law
had taken place, they could not force a
prosecution; Mr.. McCabe must decide
that; and he decided, in a great number
of cases. in such fashion as to weaken
the law and its administration.
Very early in the history of the food
law, the question of What is whisky"
arose to vex the authorities. DR.. Wiley
decided that straight whisky was the
only thing that could be labeled as
straight whisky; that a mixture of two
or more kinds of straight whisky was
the only thing that could be Tabled
blend of whiskies;" that neutral
spirits, colored, favored, or otherwise
doctored, could not be called either
straight whisky or a blend; it must be
called in imitation of whisky.
This decision was sustained by At
torney General Bonaparte, and later by
President Roosevelt.
Here the Taft administration came