The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-11
FUNNY SIDE OF HOT WEATHER
From the New York Telegram.

From the New York Telegram.
 HUMAN nature. always a source of
 infinite interest and entertain A ment, Is as much in evidence dur ing the heat wave as at any other time of year.
 One prominent New Yorker and his wife who watch the changing human comedy with detached, but nevertheless sympa- thetie, eyes have found themselves an- chored in New York city during these furnace-like days. While their friends and kindred are summering in the moun- tains and by the sea they find in their lofty suite in a family hotel an occasional stray breeze, and descending daily among their fellow sufferers, catch bits of hot weather humor.
 Watch that conscientious waiter over there" said the New Yorker to his wife as they sat at dinner last night
 The waiter was a stout Frenchman, to whom the service of the table was at once an art and a sacrament.
 His dress was the conventional black. relieved by the whitest of white linen and surmounted by a choking white collar of oppressive altitude.
 His patron was in an uncertain mood and at last gave up the task of ordering a dinner.
 May I suggest began the conscien- tious waiter. And with the grateful diners consent he carefully selected a varied epicurean feast mainly of cold disaes. Course after corse was served with infinite care frightened by Gallic tact and politesse.
 The grateful diner ate in comfort and his recognition of the walters care prob ably found expression in a goodly sized "pourboire.'
 But the humorous side of the picture" !" said the New Yorker, who looked on, lay in the fact that while the diner sat and enjoyed his feast, the conscientious waiter expended such energy and vitality in se- curing and bringing each dish that be- tween courses the big white choker at his neck wiltered like a rag. That warm, perspiring waiter changed his collar as frequently as he changed the plates!
 Even in their high, darkened apartment him!"
 Even in their high, darkened apartment the heat penetrated. Ascending after dinner, they were amazed to find much valued little picture and it's golden frame tel shelf, while the hood that crowned a wax candle and some associated trifies were scattered about the floor. hurried investigation failed to reveal anything missing in the apartment No breeze in that tropical atmosphere could have displaced the bric-a-brac The pug zled owners restored their treasures and turned their thoughts to other directions. | Later, the repetition of the downfall re- veaed the fact that the cheat had ac- tually wilted the wax candle, which bent unti! the hood had fallen, misplacipg the | other articles in it's train.
 | Shaving cream that had melted into a sticky liquid showed how the furnace-like heat compelled it's owner to get new | supply and keep it, like other cream, in the cool confines of the refrigerator. Tn ewilting process is not confined to nanimate things. Watch the crowds of suffering, wilting humanity stretched limp and helpless under the shelter of the trees l III lHo pdTh, pcchihS q AieeiC SoOA'f~'e >'' the green of the wilting grass. The long line of patient applicants waiting at the entrance of bathing pavilions at the city's edge or down beside the sea, in momen- l tary expectation of an empty bath house and moderately dry bathing suit IS frequent sight that loses none or 's l poignancy by constant repetition. The patient horses toiling along 'hs sun baked streets give evidence or thei' drivers care and consideration Tn he curious hats balanced between thelr ears the wet sponges fixed at their foreheaos and the occasional rest for cooiiht bucket of water poured over their steam ing sides.
 There is a thought that brings some lcomfort when it is remembered that Int