Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-03-28
ENJOYING
HERSELF

had just come in, Il had to be chloro-
formed fifty-one weeks in the year,
and could enjoy life for only seven
days, | think I'd choose to be awake
bargain week at the stores.
81 have had the most beautiful time
this week Just being busy. One day I
would go downtown and buy things
and have them sent home and the
next day I'd go down and take them
back. Between whiles I'd show them
to all my friends who dropped in and
have them tell me why they didn't
like my selections. When nobody
dropped in I'd call on them and ex-
plain to them why disapproved OF
their purchases and advise them to
return them at once. OF course, all
this criticism was taken in the proper
spirit.
. When you've purchased perfect
love of blue chiffon gown and get 1t
home only to find 1t is purple instead
, OF blue, you wouldn't have any re-
spect for a friend who didn't say 1t
was a horror and tell you to run
: back with it. Things do look differ
ent the next day-have you ever no
ticed? Even men find 1t so. passed
the necktie counter in a dry goods
store the other day and man with a
panied face was talking confidentially
. to the clerk
Say, he was complaining, when
this was in the window it was a bee
iyutiful lavender dream, and when
tried it on at home it was nothing
but a sartorial crime, so kindly take
1t back and let me buy a can of tooth
! powder in it's place. l need a snow
shovel, too-do you carry em!
/. I've always regarded myself as a
person of sane and just mind" went
on the young woman who had just
come In, but recent occurrences have
4 shaken that belief. You know that
when you plant a woman in the midst
of mountains of $85 dresses marked
down to $50 and hurl at her bewild-
cred head 5000 opera coats that are
marked down to $50 and thrust upon
her sight hats that a month ago had
$50 tags attached to their brims and
now have nice little black marks
through the old figures and $12 signs
below them, she can't be blamed for
going a little mad and buying reck.
lessly. Then on the way home she
adds up her purchases mentally, feels
nervous, dashes for her checkbook as
soon as she reaches her room and
finds, to her sickening horror, that,
while her bank account totals ninety
odd dollars, she has bought $14S
worth of stuff that she is trustingly
expected to pay for at the first OF
the month.
rs 1t any wonder she lies awake all
night waiting for the hour to come
at the store when its doors open
Why, regular groove has been worn
In the store floors to the returned
goods desks these days.
IF / go downtown bargain week
with the mild intention of buying
spool of thread. bolt of baby ribbon
and box of hanGkerchiefs, I'm just
as likely as not to come home with
fifteen yards of silk marked down
from $3.50 a yard to 90 cents, a new
hat and fur coat. Then | discover
that | can't possibly wear the hat
with any outfit 1 possess and that
the silk is color that makes me look
like a broiled mushroom, and some,
body points out that spring is almost
here and, instead of a fur coat, what
really need is linen duster and a
parasol.
IF you think 1t is fun trying to
hand good money to the man behind
the counter for some yards of silk
It's because you know nothing of what
gentle woman will do at a sale. III
Is enough to discourage and appall
any mild hammered person when a
woman with a sharp chin and Wig
orous arm muscles reaches over your
shoulder and grabs the bolt of silk
you are considering and sings II I'D.
on the pile she already has In her
arms, then smashes her way through
the crowd to the door to consider her
plumber In the daylight. Presently she
will return to the edge of the mob
about the counter and hurl the whole
armful across the heads of the inter
vening shoppers in the direction OF
the clerk, with the remark that she
should think a decent store would be
ashamed to show such goods. Occa. |
sionally one of the bolts so hurled |
hits the counter. but most of them
descend on the innocent bystanders
like the unexpected sticks from ex.
ploded skyrockets. II is disconcerting
when twenty yards of green brocade
land on your willow plumes and drive
a hatpin into your skull. although, of
course, you can't help but admire the
skill of the woman who achieves such
a result with one simple twist of the
wrist.
No" concluded the young woman
who had just come in. "a can't stay for