Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-02-04
who is the biggest fool you ever

Woman"
The girl I'm engaged to-"
We'll, like that. What kind Of
wife do you expect her to maker"
How should I know her qualifca-
tons for a wife? Marriage is a lottery.
other men may marry for qualifca-
tons, but we youngsters don't pretend
TO forecast what Il girls going to be.
And I don't believe the Old ones hit it
any better than we"
What makes you set your fancee
down as 4 fool?'
III tell you, but I must begin back
a little way She's Madge Whitridge,
only it should be Nadge Wildhre in
stead Not that she is SO wild as she
was. She's been quieyed down 4 bit by
a certain little happening that came
near resulting disastrously. She near
~ caused my death"
You don't mean it. Not intention
ally, I suppose"
well, whether there was a spark of
intention in it I don't know. You never
can tell what a woman is going to do
or why she does it. We can't be sure
she knows herself. If Madge had
caused my death any prosecuting at
toruey might have made a very good
case against her of doing it with NAL
fee aforethought. And 10 tell the truth
I'm not sure but she did
And you're going to marry herr
You bet-that is, if she doesn't shake
NE for another fellow. though l don't
think she would do that now. She
might have done it before this thing
I'm going to tell you about happened;
but, as l said, It sobaTed her, and she's
quite tame. That's the time I chose for
putting salt on the birds tail.
There's more appropriateness in
this simile than you may imagine, as
you'll see in a moment But Ior the
incident. We floor gliders,' IS one
called our dancing club Of y0uEE PEG
ple-there was not one over twenty,
and some Of the girls weren't over if
teeu-concluded wed celebrate the
Mardi Gras with 4 masquerade ball. Id
been getting sweet on Madge-Wildfre
l may as we'll call her-and about the
time the costumes We're being arTanG
ed I was sitting up to her like & sick
kitten to warm brick. In fact, we
arranged to have corresponding cos
tunes for the bali.
This was after RoStand's play Of
'Chantecler' came out, and everybody
was talking about it. You know that
the leading lady chicken in the pla!
is the hen pheasant, the leading gen,
Jleman being the rooster chanticleer.
We concluded to get ourselves up as
these two birds. l was month ar
ranging my outfit did it all myself.
you know-but when l got it done it
was a corker. I made the body of a
rooster, which l strapped under my
arms. with an elegant head and comb
in front and a fine display of cocks
tail behind, the tail being made of
tissue paper Of different colors. You
couldn't have told it from the real
thing
y went to see AIadge the afternoon
before the ball. 1t so happened that
we got to QuaTreIinG, and l went
of in Il huff This was unfortunate,
to say the least. We had spent a lot
OF time getting up our bird rigs and
expected to make a lot of fun billing
and cooling during the ball. and the
worst of it was, now that we were in
just the opposite condition from what
we expected, we hadn't time to get
other rigs"
What was the cause of the quar-
reI?"
I'VE tried on our costumes in ad-
vance, and when she walked l told
her she waddled like a duck. That
made her mad, and she fired back and
we soon We're in for it hot and heavy.
when the ball came off, instead of
walking about together, strutting,
she cuddling up beside me. we were as
far apart as possible and when we
met glared at each other. After awhile
1 saw her sitting in a window with
Ned Tucker. This made me all fired
jealous Us we'll as mad, and to show
my spleen what did 1 do but 90 up
near where they were sitting and
whisk around with the intention of
turning my back on Madge. l didn't
calculate how near my tail feathers
were to them, but it seems they
brushed their faces. This made Madge
madden than ever. Ned had just struck
match to light a cigarette. Madge
jerked it out Of his hand and held it
under the tip of my tail.
In a second the whole OF it was in
flames. l tried to get the rooster part
of me Off but it vas tied on so well
that l couldn't do it. The flames ran
/ from the tail TO the wings and from
the wings to the rest of the body. The
whole roomful of people rushed toward
me, scared out of their seven senses,
every one crying, Put him OUT
Whether they meant to put out the
flames or put me out to prevent my set
ting them all aire I don't know. l
was bowling with the burns and with
fear when 4 Roman senator took off
his toys and wrapped it about me.
Il was taken to a carriage and home
wasn't burned at all bat just to pun
ish the COMPOUNDED girl that applied
the match I gave out that might die
She was knocked clean out, and when
let up on her she wilted. She had
put a match to my tail; put salt on
hers and caught her"
you mean she caught you. There
are lots of men who think they do the
catching when they are caught them