davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
Motor Car Insurance.

We write insurance on automobiles
and all kinds of power driven vehi-
cles at the lowest rates, and insure
against damages from fire under any
and all circumstances, whether in pri-
vate or public garage or on the road
or in accident. More cars are de-
stroyed by fire than by all other
causes put together. Rates the low
est E. Hofer & Sons, 213 S. Com
mercial street. 5-22-tf
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
HAIR DRESSING.

SCALP AND SKIN SPECIALIST
Hair dress ng. Manicuring, chirop-
ody and electrolysis. Combings
bought and made up. We make a
speciality of hair dyeing. Miss Ora
Poage. rooms S18-319 U. S. Bank
bldg. 3-7-1m
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
500 Reward. 500.


The readers Of this paper will be
pleased to learn that there is at least
one dreaded disease that science has
been able to cure in all its stages, and
that Is catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure
is the only positive cure known to the
medical fraternity. Catarrh being a
constitutional disease, requires con-
stitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting di-
rectly on the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system, thereby destroy
ing the foundation Of the disease, and
giving the patient strength by build
ing up the constitution and assisting
nature to do its work. The proprie-
tors have so much faith in It's cura-
tive powers that they offer One
Hundred Dollars for any case that it
fails to cure. Send for list of testi-
monials.
Address F. ]. Cheney & Co., To-
ledo, Ohio.
Sold by all druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for con-
stipation.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
GREAT CHINESE DOCTOR
L. NJ. HUM.

Has medicine wniC VIII cure any
known disease. He makes a special.
ty Of and guarantees to cure catarrh,
asthma, lung, throat, rheumatism,
debility, stomach. liver, kidney
troubles, also any blackened or
sW ollen soreness, broken limbs;
smallpox epidemic; all kinds OF
boils, lost manhood, female weak.
ness, hernia troubles and paralysis
Consultation free. Care of Yick Sc
Tong Co., Chinese drugs and herbs
Office hours from 10 to y a. m. and
l to 7 p. m. Office open Sundays
1853 High street, upstairs. Salem.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
Grain, Flour, Feed. Etc.

v,oat-New crop; bluestem 81;
,.s n: red Russian, rs; Valley n.
'' rlonr-Patents, s4.s5 per barrel;
.I.,abts. 1885; exports, $3.50; VAL
~, $3.50; graham. $3.50; whole
'pssT pesaTIey-Feed, s25.5O@2s per ton;
,rsving, s8O@S1.
w u.v-Timothy, s16919 per ton; al
-. s11; clover, new, sS.5O9$9;
rain hay, new, $40. ,
Cor rOrp- Whole, $500; cracked,
sIOO per ton.
mllstuffs-Bran, $24.5OQ25 per
-. middlings, s31; shorts, $3.50;
'olled M barley, $2S@29.
oats-old white, $25 per ton; new,
S24
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
livestock.

Pelts-Dry, &c; salted. country
pelts, 65c@$1 per pound; lamb pelts,
25.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
OSTEOPATHY.

DR.. R. H. WHITE-Osteopath and
nerve specialist, graduate Of
the American School of Osteop-
athy, Kirksville, Mo-, post-gradu-
ate and specialized in nervous
diseases at Los Angeles College,
1909. Treats acute and chronic
diseases Consultation free. Lady
attendant. Office 5O5-5O6 U. S.
National Bank Bldg. Phone $50.
Residence 346 North Capitol street.
Phone 469.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
CARPENTER SHOP.

CRAVEN AND OLINGER, carpenters
We do job work Of all kinds;
store fronts, sleeping porches, fur
niture repairing, saw filirg, ETC.
All work satisfactory. Phone
Main 647. 306 South Commercial
street. S-10-tf
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

'oR SALE-Fine modern residence
on best residence street in city.
New, with all modern convenlences
and large lot. Price $4,000 with
sewer assessments paid. Three
years time on $500. 3. Hofer G
Sons, 213 Commercial street.
7-11-tf
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
Hons. Wool. Hides. Etc.

Hops-1911 contracts, SO@32c per
pound; 1910 crop, 2sc; 1909 crop, 20
g22c; olds, 1S@17c.
Wool-Eastern Oregon, s@1ec lb.;
Valley, 15917c.
Mohair-Choice, 37hc.
dides - Salted hides, INC pei
~, ~ saited calf, 13c; salted kip
ne; salted stays, &c; green hides
cent less; dry hides. 16h017c;
Wy calf, 1791Sc; dry stays. Ito
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
THE SALEM, FALLS CITY l. WEST.
ERN RAILWAY COMPANY
SUNDAY EXCURSION RATES

Commencing Sunday, June 4, 1911
and until and including Sunday, 0c-
tober l, 1911, the following Special
Round Trip Fares will be in effect,
between stations named below, on
Sundays only:
BetWeen-
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
UNDERWRITERS.
ELECTRIC eUPPLY HOUSE.

4. H. HUNTER-Electrical supplies
and wiring our specially. We will
give you an estimate ON your wir-
ing and electrical work. Our work
Is guaranteed; have rural tele-
phones. Office and supply room
129 South Commercial street.
6-29-tf
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
Salem, Falls City & Western Rs
Leave West Salem ror:

Dallas, Falls City and Black Rock
...... ........9:00 =. m
Dallas and Falls City -. .....
..........1:S0 and 4:S5 p. m.
Sunday Trains for.
Dallas G. Black Rock ........,
,..... $500 a. N. and 1895 p. m.
Trains Arrive at West Salem from
Dallas ...... .... ....8:15 \. m.
Black Rock and Dallas 1890 p. m.
Falls City and Dallas -. ..4:15 p. m.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
LODGE DIRECTORY.

SALEM GRANGE NO. IT, PATRONS
of Husbandry-Meets in Hurst
Hall on State street, on the fourth
Saturday of each month, at 1880
a. m. Visiting and sojourning
members welcome. F. A. Myers,
master. zella S. Fletcher, secre-
tary. 12-31-1yr
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
CLASSIFIED AD SECTION
MATCHMAKER.

U. S. MILLER, the MATCHMAKER
Over 20 years. experience as a
matchmaker at Beatrice, Neb.
High grade work at eastern prices.
Opera House block, 4S4 Court
street. 1O-5-tf.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

VIII Guggenheim control the Alas
kan coal fields, via the Controller
Bay water front and the lines Of
transportation?
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
NURSERIES,

CLEAN NURSERY sTOCK-Large
variety of all kinds of fruit and or
namental trees and shrubs. Fruit
land Nursery Co., Asylum road, 8
miles east Of Salem. r. F. D. 6,
Box 81. Phone Farmers 23X-2
7-2Q-tf
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

The average mans idea of real sue
cess is to be able to go fishing when
the crops are ripe, and not have any
occasion for worry.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
PAINTERS, PAPBn HANGERS

PAINTER AND PAPER HANGER
Estimates made and first-class
work done. I D. Driver, SIT
North Capitol street, Salem, Ore.
Phone 926. 6-2s-tf.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

West Salem and Black Rock. D.. .S1.25
Dallas and Black Rock. ........ 75c
West Salem and Falls City. -. .$1.OO
Dallas and Falls City.......... SOC
West Salem and Dallas. ....... 75c
Falls City and Dallas. ........ soc
Black Rock and Dallas. ....... 75c
Dallas and West Salem. ...... 75c
Falls City and West Salem. 49,. .S1.0O
Black Rock and West Salem. .S1.25
Children-Children of half fare
age, one-half of the adult fare.
Date of Sale-Sundays only.
Limit--Tickets will be good for
continuous passage in each direction,
good only on date of sale.
Baggage-No baggage will be
checked on these tickets.
Issued May 29, 1911. Dallas Ore
gon.
Effective June 4, 1911.
LOUIS GERLINGER, JR.,
General Manager.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

ASK US ABOUT THIs-We have a
good residence in Seattle to trade
for Salem property.
ALSO IL acres 21s miles of Salem,
with good buildings and nice or
chard to trade for Salem property.
BAT ACRES S1s miles from Salem, SO
acres in hops, good buildings and
family orchard, nearly all river
bottom land, $40 per acre.
SEE US for and 10 acre tracts
close in, improved and unimproved.
See us for small tracts close in.
OLMSTED LAND co.
S-18-2t
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

FINLAY C Observation-Disclosures,
heating and general repairing;
water pipe and sewer connections.
Estimates fl rnished free on any
of your work. Phone $40; 1876
Center street. 6-10-
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

OTTO MUELLHAUPr - Plumbing
heating, gas fitting; prices rea-
sonable; work guaranteed; esti-
mates furnished. Phone 373
1866 Chemeketa street. 4-17-tf
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
UPHoLsTERING, RENovAT1NG

MATRESSES-Made over, renovat-
ed, upholstering and furniture re-
pairing. All work guaranteed.
Phone 1915, or drop me card and
/ viii call for your work. Harry
E. Fox, 1866 North 4th street
7-3-tf
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

MODERN wooDMEN of AMERICA
Oregon Cedar Camp No. b246.-
Meets every Thursday evening al
s o'clock in Holman Hall. W. e.
Vincent, Consul; F. A. Turner,
Clerk.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

SALEM EMPLOYMENT Bureau-Re-
liable help furnished on short no.
tice. 165 S. Commercial street,
Salem, Oregon. Slit
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
SALEM FUEL YARDS.

WOOD FOR SALE-Can deliver hard
and soft woods, in 12 and 16-inch
and 4-foot lengths to all parts Of
the city. Ny wood Is well sea-
soned end under shelter. Prices
reasonable. Salem Fuel Yards
Phone Main 529. Office, 752 Trade
Htr6e: d
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

A. o. U. W. PROTECTION Lodge
No. meets every Monday even
ing at 500 p, M, in Holman
Hall, corner State and Liberty SITS.
q. P. Donaldson, M. W. D. P.
Wright, Recorder. 5-21-tf
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

WOODMEN OF WoRLD-Meet ev-
cry Friday night at 1880 O'Clock
in Holman Hall Geo. H. Deacan, G.
c.; L. H. Fletcher, Clerk. 1-10-0S
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
BLACKSMITH AMI HORSESHOE
ING.
HOUSES, RENT Ort SALE.
MASSAGE PARLORs.

INDICATED PLASTIC CASTS-The
latest French method of removing
black heads, pimples and wrinkles.
Call at the Sanitary Beauty Par
lors, Room 10, Sleeves Block.
3-4-ti
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
LIVERY STABLE.
SIGN PAINTERS.

DORRANCE-THE SIGN MAN-AIR
brush show cards and banners.
Bulletins and wall signs. See me
If you want the best work. Rea-
sonable prices. las South Liberty
street 6-26-6m
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
EMPLOYMENT AGENCY.
EMPLOYMENT AGENcY-Emplc

EMPLOYMENT AGENCY-Employ-
ers attention! Help Of all kinds
80 furnished at any 6S
M time. Send in kA
your. wants, We can
W$ fill them at any *
'W time on short no ~
I1ce. Big list Of male and female
help on our book always avail
able, the best to be obtained. The
Owl Realty & Employment Co.,
15S S. Commercial st. Phone
Main 204. Midway between the
Marion Hotel and Bush bank on
east side of street. 3-2S-tf
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
PLUMBERS.

THEo. NJ. BARh-Plumbing, hot
water and steam heating and tin
ming. 164 Commercial St. Phone
Main 1872. 9-1-1yr.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
SALEM NDEPENDENCR b

SALEM INDEPENDENCE BOATS.
The launches independence and
Louise win leave their wharf at the
foot Of Trade street for Independence
at the following hours daily except
Sunday.
Leaves Independence. -. $3.50 a. m.
Leaves Salem, 400 p. m.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

FOR SALE-Five blocks of land in
side city limits, suitable for plat
ting. Price low enough so money
can be doubled on town lot propo-
sition. For information, see e.
Hofer & Sons, 213 S. Commercial
street. Phone So. (5)
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

FOR SALE-New Groom house on
14th street, large lot; must be sold
in three weeks; price $3.50. Also
4 choice lots $525 each; reasonable
payment down; balance $40 per
month without interest. See E.
Lupton, 240 South 18th street.
7-29-1m
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

FAMILY LIQUOR store-All stand.
ard brands Of liquors kept In
stock. Wines by the gallon. Bot
tie OF case. Free delivery in the
city limtts e. Eckerlen, 2O6 N.
Commercial street
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
REAL ESTATE.

$3.50 BUYS 10 acres choice fruit
land four miles out on good road;
two acres in cherries, 1s-acre in
Strawberries. All fenced, spring
brook; house and barn. Square
Deal Realty company, room S04,
United States National Bank
building. Phone 40.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19

BURLINGTON ADDITION - Lots
can now be had from 500 up and
ON terms to suit; no sewer ar street
assessment. Call at s. B. Catterlin
& Company, 497 State street.
Phone Main $50 from a. m. to 5
p. m. S-16-1w
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-19
MISCELLANEOUS.

THE STREET COOK wants to cook
red hot sandwiches in minute for
your wife. Mexican Spanish chick
en- tamales have been cooked at
home. Who will be lucky to get
it tonight from the Noble Saloon
lunch wagon. Wholesale and re-
tail. Mail orders. S-10-1mo"
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
The SerYlan. Drum.

The men who play the big drums in
the Servian army must have an cas-
Ter lot than the drummers of other
lands; for they do not have to carry
their own drums.
In nearly all cases, instead Of being
slung in front of the man who plays
1t, the instrument is put on a small
two-wheeled cart drawn by a large
dog. OF course the drummer must
play as he marches; but the dog is
so well trained that there is no diff
Guilty in doing this.
The animal keeps its place ever
through the longest marches. and the
drummer walks behind the cart, per-
forming on the instrument as he
goes along. Each regiment is pro
vided with two or three big drums;
but few regiments have bands.-The
Sunday Magazine.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
Last Veteran of 1912.

The Buffalo Express, commenting on
the assembly's action in killing a bill
granting the use of armories to the
Society of the War of 1872, asks if it
can be possible that there are any
survivors of that war who are able
to go through the manual Of arms.
According to the records of New
York's board of aldermen the metropo-
lis buried at public expense with
much pomp and ceremony the very
last 1872 veteran about five years ago.
He was Hiram Cronk of Oneida coun-
ty, and his obsequies here cost $4,000
and the time of a'regiment of National
%Guardsmen and hair a thousand po-
licemen. The odd part of the whole
affair was that the appropriation was
made and all arrangements we're per-
feeted some mothns before poor old
Private Cronk-he was several years
beyond the century mark-answered
the last call.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
ALL THAT is NECESSARY.

She cannot make a hobble skirt or plan
the plainest gown she wears;
1t never bothers her when dirt aceumu-
lates upon the stairs;
She cannot trim a last years hat or cook
a meal or bake a pie,
But she can comb her hair down fiat and
still be pleasing to the eye.
She never has learned how to sew, tho
books she reads are merest trash;
She never has cared much to know just
where her husband gets the cash
She could not WELD a pair of shears will
profit or with pleasing skill,
But with her hair eombed DER her ears
she keeps a charm about her still.
She never is inclined to let herself be
worried over art,
She rather thinks the ~suffragette is play
Ing an ignoble part
The dust is thick within her fiat and
things are topsy-turvy there,
Blu she has thrown away her rat and still
is gloriously fair.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
HOW PARIS REPORTERS WRITE
Specimens of What the English Call
%Jouralese culled From the
French Newspapers.

"Litteratuture' is the agreeable
name coined by NJ. Adrien Valvy,
Notwithstanding to the Gaulois.
for what in English is called Journal
csc, and he quotes a few good speei-
mems OF "lit%teratuture.' This man,
wrapped in the dread but necessary
mantle of social justice, seemed at the
moment truly a pillar Of society, as
In the picture craven by the philoso-
piers burning pen wrote a pietur-
| esque reporter. lie was describing
! an execution, and the pillar of society
was the executioner. Another, or per
haps the same. reporter went to Asni
eres on a cold day.
All! the cold that morning in the
streets of Asnieresl Along the pave
ment the water lay, still numbed with
the cold. AT street corner, where the
wind whistled more bitingly, we're
| spread large splashes of ice. BY the
Seine 1t was terrible. With "A steamer
of smoke like the white feather of
Henri Tvs helm rising from its roof.
the Felicite crossed the river. The
fellclte! An, what Il warm anu cohl-
Portable name was the ferry boat
Here Is the graceful picture;
ut was after lunch! The hour OF
toasts was long since past. Nine. G..
rose. She laughed. Ladies and gen
tlemen, | have an idea, she said, and
laughed again. She bent her fore
head, upon which blond curls played,
and lifted it, laughing again. 1t
amused her to be making a speech"
M. Vely warrants that all these
specimens are authentie.-Paris Cor
respondent London Telegraph.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
THOSE FAMILIAR PHRASES
Expressions That Are Nearly Always
to Be Found in Novels Writ
ten by Women.

Faces are proud" and ladies' with
an imperfect nose have "a pure,
proud, lovely woman's face, with glo-
rious soul-lit eyes" Heroines are
slight" Chairs, ON the other hand,
are deep" and after the accident
of a ~sprained ankle you almost carry
Elsie's slight figure to a deep chair
In the important matter Of costume,
emotional dresses are worn, and vir-
ginial thoughts go with white frocks.
"Clinging white draperies'' are essen
tial to the heroine and 'colors' are
not worn.
Eyes are extremely significant. The
heroines have glorious dark-blue
soul-lit womanly eyes" Ladies of a
villianous type, on the other hand, are
recognizable by their green eyes"
On e~ncountering at a country house
eyes 'seintillating like emeralds,' a
bachelor should dispatch a telegram
summoning himself to the deathbed of
his grand-aunt, Barbara Bailey" In
Chapter "a Green Eyes are "unmask-
ed" Heroines with "pansy eyes," la
dies with orbs misty with unshed
tears" are delicate and unlike any
thing on earth. Though they have
shortened their hair and heightened
their skirts, "as yet no thought of
love has entered their bright young
lives" and "all that seemed too far
away from their young glorious
thoughts"
Gentlemen with the most express.
sive dark eyes" lead a harassed life.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
The Chronic Plague.

Rodrick-So that chronic plague
used to follow you from town to town
and borrow money! Couldn't you get
rid of him?'
Van Albert (wearily)-No, he came
to me one day and said he guessed he
had harassed me enough and if !
would only give him a gun he would
use it at once. In desperation | hand.
ed him my new pearl inlaid revolver
Roderiek-And he used it?
Van Albert-You bet he did. He
pawned 1t for eight dollars and then
offered to sell me the ticket for eight
more.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
HIS WAY OF SAYING GRACE.


The little daughter of a Philadel-
phia minister had invited a friend OF
the same age to take supper at the
house. After they We're all at the
table the minister said a short prayer,
which ceremony his little one whis-
pered to her friend was known as say
ing grace
That's not the way my pa says
grace" yentured the child to the min
lister, when he had concluded.
Isn't it?' asked he, smiling. How
does you pa say grace
"Oh, he into the diniug-roomr
sits down, bangs his fist on the table
and yells:
GOOD heavens, what a support .
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
q Narrow

81 was once urging a bachelor"
says George AIDE, TO remain at the
club for a game of cards; but he in
sisted that he must call upon a lady
friend. finally said;
Don't you know it is dangerous
for a nan to call upon a lady after he
has been drinking?"
That's So said my bachelor friend
as he took off his hat and topcoat.
Many a man has become engaged to
be married in such circumstances
The Sunday Magazine.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
THE MUSE RENEGEs.

oh. who could sins a Song Or spring
And flowers sWeetly sWaying;
OF blithesome birds upon the wing
And happy children playing.
When all the world around. about
is drcary in the rain
And there's no sunbeam pacpfng out
70 gid the sodden plain.
oh. who could hit a |roundelay
When clouds are scudding low
And genial Mirth has zone away
Just whore. l do not know3
lis clear I'm not the wight fer that
I'm only tit for signing.
Pent up inside a city Hat,
There's just no use of trying!
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
No Chance About 1t.

I'm awfully sorry it happened!'
apologies the abject young man, after
the stolen kiss.
"~Happened!" she exclaimed. Hap.
pened! That is worse than the Kiss!
If you mea to say to me that you
didn't have it in mind when you asked
me to stroll away back here in this
quiet corner of the conservatory, |
shall be offended, after all. Judge.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
What He Meant.

Il thought from what you said to
me yesterday that old Skads had lost
all his money!,
What did l say"
why o said that the last time
you saw him he was at the end of
his rope"
ooh! You see the last time / saw
him he was just finishing a campaign
cigar someone had given him"
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
Three Good Reasons.

Observation-Disclosures, why don't
you come to church now?
Mackintosh-For three reasons, sir.
Firstly, | dinna like yer theology;
secondly, | dinna like yer singin', and,
thirdly, it was in your kirk l first met
my wife.-Musical American.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
Now He Would Break Out.

Hello, Stubs! Haven't seen you
for months. The last time we met, |
remember you we're trying to break
into literature. Did you %succeed?"
YES; and I've been broke ever
since
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
His Ailment.

whats the matter with your
nephew that's sick over at %Skeedee?"
"Oh, he prescribed for himself out
of a doctor book" replied the Old
.Codger, and nearly killed himself
with a misprint."-Puck.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
The LOGICAL View.

She-I am going to get a pretty
piece of ~all-over lace today to begin
a new dress.
He-I should think you would get it
for the dress finish.
She-What do you mean?
He-It ought to be the end if it's
all over.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
Her Awful Secret.

yes" said Little Binks. Miss
Paynter is a handsome woman, but
sometimes when | look at her she
seems to me like a woman who has
a terrible secret"
"She has" said whitley.
q was sure of it," said Little
Binks. "Haye you any idea what
it is?"
YES" said whitley. She's forty
eight years old. "-iIarper's Weekly.
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
What Becomes of Them.

What becomes of all the actors
who drop out of sight after they have
been on the stage for ten or a dozen
years?"
Most of them sit around in the
dark corners of barrooms and talk
about the good old days of the drama.
when they We're supporting Booth and
Mccullough"
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
GettIno Ready.

For heavens sake, Mildred, what
have you been loing? You look as If
you had fallen into a coal hole"
1T was just about as bad. Aunt
Martha has telegraphed that she will
be here tomorrow and I've been hunt
ing through the attic for her picture"
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
An Unconscious Admission.

"Oh, darling, love me-loye me! /
want you to love me for all you are
worth" said the aged millionaire who
mad persuaded the beautiful young
widow to promise to be his wife.
81 do" she replied, and then she
absentmindedly added, and l love
you for all you are worth
The Falls City tribune., 1911-07-07
Precisely.

rs he a man who is never at a loss
for something to say?"
Well, to be more exact, he is a
man who is never at a loss for some
thing said"
You mean by that"
His wife is always with him."