Middletown transcript., 1911-06-17
WEATHER PROPHET MENU OFF
Invited His CrOnies To a Ground
Hog Bake and Backed Down


Talk about the "Feasts of the ancientsP'
Middletown has an expert on grub that
has 'em all skinned mile," to use the
elegant phrase one hears as a clincher in
the learned arguments ON dry goods boxes
and in hotel chairs;
We have all read about the fine lay.
outs Of Apicius. that rich old Roman gour-
mette with his rare and costly delicacies
of peacock.tengues &c; of Lucullus, an.
other ancient Roman, who got his pile in
the approved modern way of Graft, and
of his very select spreads at $4,000
banquet, with the known world ransack-
ed to fetch tidbits to safe the lickerish pal.
ates of himself and his fellow gourmands
till one after an other they would roll off
their couches, with ''excnse me, please"
and retiring to the backyard, stick their
fingers down their throats and then come
in and do it all over again.
And,we know about the wonderful table
Monctezuma used to set with appetizing
good things brought from every cline;
and the swell dinners they have on "Mil.
Iionaire Corners" with their dishes of
solid gold and food to match. Ah yes, We
know 'em all-Rell enough to say that
our .MiddIetown banquet-if it'd been
held, would have had 'em all beat
to frazzle.
Oh, if that event had only been pulled
of-the feast that was promised the
brotherhood of the F. and E. o. of NJ. G.
c., that is, the Free and Easy Order of the
Middletown Chicken Club! Our Host,
who is distinguished member of our
R. Fs Of M.-Retired Farmers of Middle
toRn-had promised, when he should be
SO lucky as to light on proper specimen
of "French Possum" (which is his high.
falutin way of describing the useful little
beast vino comes out in early Spring and
let's his shadow decide the weather for
the next six weeks) to give the boys some
thing in "eats' that would be worth
while.
The whole winter through, as the MEM
bers of this useful society, the Chicken
Club, sat around The TRANsCIPT stove Of
nights, scratching matches, discoursing on
Orpingtons, Buff Cochins, Rhode Island
Reds, &C., swapping lies and squirting to-
bacco juice at the coal bucket, would the
Host, who is also vice-president of the
Chicken Club, dilate upon the unparallel-
ed gastronomic wonder that he had in
store for the club in bis roasted French
Possum," and as he rolled out the delici-
GUS phrases that told of the coming table
delights, the boys mouths would water
and President s., would smile and tell a
bigger yarn than ever, and the Host by
way of emphasizing his purpose OF setting
it up for the boys, would bit the coal buc.
ket with a nicotine bulls eye-spangl
Then brother Bud would get ready to
beat SIS last effort at the long bow, and
every member of the G. G. would be work.
ed up to high pitch of delicious expec-
tation of the coming feast. "When's it to
be2" .'Name the day." "Don't leave
me out These and other like expressions
resounded from every quarter of the M.
C. G.
"Well, boys, don't get excited, Pll
cook i'm, all right when get 'im,"
replied the Host. A gloom fell upon
the shining expectant faces of the
excited brotherhood at the rather
doubtful statement. "Catch him." queri-
ed S., who was just beginning to tell the
members how to put salt on a birds tail
&c.
"Where's your "French Possum" to
come from, asked somewhat skeptical
member as he reared back in one of the
TRANSCRIPTS collapsible chairs which
did collapse, landing the member on his
back collar button all doubled mp like q
10 cent iack.knife.
"Aw, come now, what you givin' us?"
"When's it to be2" "Boys, 1 tell ye again
it's all right, I'm gotn' to give the set out
and it'll bust all records for good grub,
and you'll all say SO when you've tasted
my "French Possum." Just you wait, I'll
have a beauty some of these days"
tthese confident promises of the Host
the G. G. grew cheerful again, and Presi.
dent S. ventured "corker," for which
the members gave him their Chatauqua
salute, which, to tell the truth, sounded
like Sioux yell. and the Host was forced
to admit, and Bud B. too, that shorty
had them both beat as liars. Then the
G. G. adjourned for the night after the
honorary member on North Broad had
been requested to read, by way of an ap.
petizer to the coming feast, "Charles
Lambs Essay on Roast Pig"
But to end this tale of what might have
been, one Of our enterprising young far.
mers not far away in Maryland hunted
up a whopping sample of grounding
"French Possum'' if you please-and
Topped him down on THE TRANSCRIPT
floor one day. Our Host was called and |
it was easy to see he was backing water
fast; for he looked at bis "Gallic Possum"
felt his greasy sides and straightway be.
gan manufacturing excuses-it was too
late in the season-he was too fat-over
ripe etc. He did smell trifle loud. Fin
ally our Host owned up he had no more
stomach for crow or boiled baboon-
or roasted grounding than the rest of the
boys and that his bluff had been called.