The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-02-09


Young Doctor-Hello. Don't be-
lieve / have met you since we were
boys at school. You're looking pros
peous.
Young Lawyer-Yes; a rich uncle
died two years ago and l came into
possession of nearly 100000.
Young Doctor-Why, l wasn't
aware you had rich uncle.
Young Lawyer-Oh, he wasn't my
uncle. He was the uncle of one of my
clients.-Chicago News.
Your husband might have little
solid food directly he begins to mend,'
said the doctor.
But how am l to tell?" inquired
the anxious wife.
The convalescent stages of influ-
enza," replied the doctor, ARE mark
ed by slight irritability"
The next day he called and found
the patients wife radient.
When refused to order his steak
and onions," she explained, he came
into the kitchen and smashed four
teen soup plates and dinner service,
sc, of course, sent out for steak at
orce. STRAY Stories.
At the recent dinner given by An
drew Carnegie, an eminent lawyer,
seated halfway down the table, was
deeply immersed in conversation with
his neighbor when the host opened up
the subject of the British coinage
system and showed signs of wishing
undivided attention.
Every other civilized nation" he
declaimed has the decimal system
while England adheres to the absurd
ard cumbrous table of pounds, shill-
ings and pence" Rap-rap-rap.
The raps were for the lawyer, who
remained absorbed in his own con-
versation. And even farthings,
continued the iron-master. rs there
anything. else in finance so ridiculous
as the farthing?" Rap-rap.
The lawyer glanced around some.
what impatiently.
Judge c." Mr. Carnegie called
out, why do the British continue
their coinage of farthings?"
"To enable the Scotch to practice
! benevolence, Mr.. Carnegie" returned
the lawyer.-Success Magazine.
The auditorium of the Fremont
high school in Oakland was filled.
Joaquin Miller was on the program to
talk on his personal friendship with
Gen. John c. Fremont.
At o'clock Miller had not appear
ed. An hour later the audience still
waited, but no poet. Ten o'clock and
he was still missing.
The principal became nervous and
started for Miller's home, the
Heights.
Half mile from there the motor
car stuck in the mud.
The principal looked around. He
saw a dark figure in the middle of
the road. He looked again. 1t was
Joaquin Miller.
There was a noise: it continued. He
listened carefully. 1t was the poet
swearing in beautiful verse.
I've lost one of my boots" he
shouted.
The address was put off until the
mud dries.-San Francisco Eexamin-
er.
Prince Henry, the third son of the
king and queen of England, is the
humorist of the royal family. Last
summer, with his brothers and sisters
he was taken for picnic by his moth
er in the woods above Abergeldie
Castle. Princess Mary had been al
lowed to make some OF the cakes Tor
tea, and the boys were asked their
opinion of them. Prince Henry look
ed at his with a whimsical smile and
then said: "It Is high treason is it
not, to SPEAK disrespectfully of the
daughter of the Prince OF Wales?
On another occasion his elder broth
ers were discussing their future ca
reers. Prince Edward was explain
ing that he was to be soldier in due
course. while Prince Albert declared
that he meant to stick to the navy.
What are you going to be, Henry?'
he was asked. He was silent for a
moment and then said: "Oh, I will