davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
Reddy Smith Chats
On Killing Birds

wus readin' in de paper, Jimmie
uhbout uh swell suburb where all de
people dat live In It ur got uh lot NV
kale.. Dey say dat it's uh beautiful
place and dat de streets ur all lineo
wild even rows ur trees dat gives shade,
as well as makes de place look purity.
But, Jimmie, uh lot NV sparrers. an
robins and de likes got up In dem trees
at night an cooed an billed uver deir
young, 90 dat 1t made a fearful
racket
Den, desc swell people has men go
uhlong de streets wild shotguns an
shoot up In de trees, KILN hundreds
and hundreds NV dem birds-an' jes
cause dey chirped at night.
Yet, Jimmie. dem same people uhli
come back tn de city pretty soon, an
60 automobilin', an rush thru de city
at night, an sleep durin' de blowin' NV
whistles an de noise uf trolly cars an
trains an won't make uh murmur. Dey
can't stan de chatter NV birds, but dey
can sleep till noon in de noise NV uh
city.
tells yu, Jimmie, sum people don't
know uh good thing when dey got 1T
an yu'll fin It more 30 uhnong desc
rich people dat call demselves citizens
The Washington times., 1911-09-07

you do. You point the fngir Of skorn
at my hat. he sed, and you say, Why 4
is it that you dldent take that hat OF,
reeilizing awl the time tha. Il is my
hat and that eetch mans hat Is hts
cassel. 1t Is things like that kawzsd
the Frentch revilooshun. he ssd.
Ma Speeks
I'm glad you enjoyed the banquet, ssd
ma.
So am I, sed pop, but what has that
to do with hats. Pieeze don't change
the subjeckt awl the time, he sed. I
reeilise that my hat Is avn the back
Of my he'd. he sed, put Il thare my.
self. and thares not a womin on the
fase of the erth that has q rite tp
kwestshun my Judgemint In the mattfr.
/ kant plase to mutch emfasts avn tn9
fackt, he sed, that eetch mans hat IN
his cassel. I am now going 20 retire,
he sed, and II you have enything
ferther to say on the subJeckt. kindly
reserve 1t until a moar uspishus time.
So then pop went to bed and wen he
got up the neckst moarntng his hat was
still avn the back Of his he'd but be
dident -tawk eny moar about It
The Washington times., 1911-09-07

bring on half q dozen strokes, with
Shefr sisters and their cousins and their
aunts. I haven't cooled OF enough to
sic down since.
At 40 this morning. just as I was in
the midst Of sweet dream OF forty
patients. all paying cash In succession.
the telephone bell exploded. 1tSwas Mrs.
Fusserly, and she was some excited.
Could come around without taking
time TO dress or anything else?
Well, I slipped on most Of the furni-
tufe IN the room and few clothes and
hustled around. She met me at the
door.
''Oh, DOCTOR" she blubbered, "Fido
has swallowed the key Of the bedroom
door. What shall We do7"
Let him swallow the keyhole."
yelled, and turned and ran for fear Of
doing the woman bodily harm. Say. I'm
stilI 20 mad about It I'm afraid to be
alone. might bite myself
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
ACCORDING TO SAMMY

Pop went to a banquet yestidday
aftirnoon.
It's funny time to have q banquet, IN
the aftirnoon, sed ma to pop, / nevir
herd Of a banquet in the aftirnoon be-
foar.
Thares lots Of things you nevir herd
of, sed pop, but they eggsist jest the
sairn.
Enyhow, sed ma, pleeze be karefui-
o, Ill be kareful awl rite, sed pop,
but Of korse cant be a kwitter. But
no how mutch is good for me. he sod.
Hoam Agen
Pom calm hoam frum the banquet
lest as we was Getting suppir and he
calm into the dining room with his hat
avn the back of his he'd insted Of
hanging It up In the-hall like he always
does.
Well. sed ma, how was the banquet
Crate, sed pop, Crate, crate, simply
CRATE, crate. =.
must of bin CRATE. And wy didn't you
take yure hat OF wen you CAIN in.
| Eyry mans hat is his own propirty.
sed pop. and no mans wife has rite to
dtcktate to him about 1t. Evry mans
hat is his cassel he sed, and wen ne
puts his he'd avn his hat, l meen his
hat avn his he'd. the thing Is endid and
thares no use tawhing about 1t eny
furthir.
1 Suppose you don't want eny suppir,
sed ma.
We are tawking about hats, sed pop,
and you are delibiretly trying to evade
the issue. I ware my hat In q per-
feckly inuffensive mannir In my own
dining room. he sed. and wat do you DO.
+ kali upon high hevin TO witness wat
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
THE STAGE DOORKEEPER

= Il see." said the stage-struck youth
-'-that Madame Duse is out with de-
,nial that states plainly that she will
retire from the stage"
said the stage doorkeeper, 81
read that little squib myself. She ought
TO know her own business, and prob
: GSiy when she thinks OF Sara Bern
hardt and Harry Lauder gathering more
:. American kale she decides there is
-nothing IN the retiring life.
: The High Brow Stuff
''she puts over the high brow stun
-sI right and while I 'ea9't say that
: admire much for her style Of acting,
: she certainly used to keep the s. R. O..
sign from getting rusty.
! The critics write nice things about
l her and use big words that I make no
attempt 10 understand. But maybe I'm
not . good Judge. for confess strong
The Washington times., 1911-09-07

She appeared q Venus, q Diana. . thing
of beauty and a creature Of class.
-Four times had she been proposed 70
behind potted palms that evening. and
so sympathetic and compassionate was
she, that. rather than hurt any ones
feelings, she had accepted all four
Reggie Van Flopperly was the last.
The music stopped. 1t was TIC last
dance Hardly had Reggie released her.
when the other three rushed up, ana
Geraldine was surrounded ~ the tour
happiest men in the world, each claim
ing the right to take her home.
Geraldine looked them over regretfully.
'T'm awfully sorry. boys" she said.
In a voice so sweet that 1t took all the
sting out Of the words, Il didn't have
the heart to refuse any Of you. but-but
I-now don't tell q soul-Ive been mar
ried to Billy slippenfuss for week"
The Washington times., 1911-09-07

liking for the style Of shows where the
girls still carry spears.
But the thing about the madame
that always amuses me is the troub,s
the American public has in trying IA
find out how to pronounce her mama.
To be right honest with you I'm not
very well up on these Dago names and
I'm willing to be told. But the ruvs
who write the little paragraphs for the
papers do have fun with her monake-
remember how one chan used 70
write little verses every morning of
her last engagement and the name
would rhyme with 'boozy' or-si,rice' 7
don't know whether she ever saw anv
OF the verses or not, but they were
birds"
Put Me Wise
Put me wise to the real pronuncfa-
tion." demanded the s. s. Y. for II II
Is Dusay don't want to 60 around
calling her Dooce."
I told you 1 wasn't sure" answered
the S. d. K, but If 1t is Dusay II
sounds fine. And IL it's Dooce It sounds
just that way. But deuce is q pretty
low spot card for so famous an actress
to be named. And II 1 was her I'd
have It changed TO queen or big
casino"
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
Loretta's Looking Glass

spread the love through his system
which antidoted the indignation that
the overbearing injustice Of the boss
created.
It was all for you.
To prove himself man who could
be trusted with your future. he began
at the very bottom, where the work Of
ones hands alone counts. He took a
delight In the first OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
It marked a step in his nearing you
that was deeper than his own satisfac-
ton In proving himself to himself And
when he reached place where his
trained brain could come to reinforce
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
sKH HOLDS IT uP TO THE
Girl Whs Makes the Man Work to Win Her

- "a -. -, 1850 la -
'he WoiA u His 1-S'"iieu Ao'i' ~
began a rapid rise toward success-and
you. You meant both yourself and
rnccaas 10 him.
~. - .,,., 49,. o.. -.
49, " sun ess rs. s.a Ut
- .,,,,ss se.,,y you Sos s,.,.,nr s;o.o. ~ ae
e.N eno -. so s.n ., eu ~ ~piasae ss..-
s io Ne" OooAs anu soins
70 os 80 . 49,.
n ~ - ~ s1sy Lor sls 70 uio.Als :
.... NV = .nan snan p,ove. ms wor.n anu
.s..... - i .Sa 81 e sen
,nr ~ i.m ,,.. - mem - pusy aUUs' My S .earn. =.
The Washington times., 1911-09-07

ssV SHOULDN'T want to marry q
man who did not work. 1t seems
unmanly to just live of Of your
fathers money"
The sentiment did you credit. The
man thought so. He shot you up an
other story or two in the beautiful
castle IN the air he had builded for your
occupancy.
And, what is surer proof Of his high
regard for you, he went to svork.
It was novel and muscie-trying for a
young collegfan to help unload ma
chinery from freight car. It was
more novel still for him TO get up early
and get to work on time. He had
taken the only kind OF job he could
get unless he went to work for father"
and through influence slid into q berth
he could not I'LL.
The Unmanly Thing
That seemed to him just another way
Of doing what you considered the un-
manly thing, living of Of father. So he
took the hard work that always falls to
the unskilled hands.
There was a boss whose every
order was an insult-one Of those
narrow-minded men who wanted to
soak It into the blasted TOO RICH.
Your lover was nuts for him. He
delighted to take the acid spite of
LABOR against CAPITAL out on the
young collegian. To him, the son of
rich man stood for all the vices of
all the rich. So he proceeded to show
him how much alike ell men are by
giving him q rapid-fire exhibition of
the brutalities Of the boss.
But your lover stood for II. He was
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
Limit of Hate

He-Do you still feel angry with
met
Shell despise you! I abhor you! I
hate you!
He-then perhaps you'd better
break your engagement TO accompany
me to the opera.
she-oh. I don't hate you 50 much
az that.
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
Fall Shakings From
The Humor Tree
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TO-DAY

From an advt. Of circus:
Teddy will talk, wrestle and DRINK
till he becomes intoxicated. The al
most human intelligence shown BY
this bear is beyond comprehension."-
Punch.
The Washington times., 1911-09-07

friends teln
dsappon rich
them that ache
Laintis ALL and would whole world
snven by admtn they absolutely
that there's such thing a heaven
Bill and talkin it las night and suddenly had
bright idea
Puts It Up To Bill
"Bl "lets Let's speak nothin but
the of the evennghe truth the whole truth and noh but
the truth, matter how much hurts
Il got you" Bill. George Washin'ton bust"
Bill" "1ve meann you fora long
about that made of
night at Souders dancn academy"
Name he "seein this truthful night,
pecn little brunette that I've told about and she didn't
I've been ask Name he how
invite to the house You used tell
certain way l had about me-"
It because wanted make Sid Cassidy jealous" says
"Sds attentions had started little wobby and thought
he another chap the job it'd make him take
ntrcst."
Neither said anything long that Belle and
then Bill Name lets the truth stuff gets
monotonous, don't you think?'
dropped it, Belle; felt much like takn
after that anyhow Bill left ahead closed the
front door about hard usual Pm the
truth, Belle but you know what
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
"a Cnuldn,t Stand II

John, that man next door came over
here today and offered to tune little
Lucy's piano."
"Greati Did you let him do it?''
mo, dear. He wanted to tune 1t
with an Ak
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
At the Ball; or,
Generous Geraldine

The orchestra played dreamy waits
as Geraldine fioated on In the arms Of
Reggie Van Flopperiy.
Never had she looked % hswitchins.
The Washington times., 1911-09-07


yhen deep in my heart e-I want to feethat nothing
But dearest boy will control myself and tell In
manner how-how much have wanted you
bed early night,
but just be alone with thoughts
times and could
unlike Then, Oh you feeling seemed
to arise heart Ny head and b
with and that other trips
with you.
Could Have Torn Her Apart
believe would have torn managers daughter pieces
had been enough to lay my hands her.
How long Ilay there bed this condition
but suddenly the feeling changed.
wanted you oh, how wanted you want you nowl
stretched the pillow though
with the knowledge that naugh but linen
lump throat fully describe dear
wanted could all the seemed TO
bigger and bigger Then feeling dryness which added
the the Suddenly something
snapped and then remembered until find the
shining in my windows.
have tried to be cheerful dear but what when each
time the he only smiled and passed by?
Don't let this
and have
II wonderful how the telling of thing relieve ones mind
isn't il? ~ 1
long letter telling all about trip love az 70
Tnake feel little ashamed of
H
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
Our Doctor Says
There's a Limit

know II a mans at all full blooded
ana he lets himself get mad enough, it's
apt to bring on q stroke Of apoplexy.
but got mad enough. this morning to
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
M A ME TELLS B E L L E
Washington Was Good
Sport But Sometimes
YOU'VE GOT TO LIE

KNOW it amt anywhere near Washinton's birth
day, Belle but Bill and was takin on the subject
of lies las night and it's been sort of on my mind
All lies have got the reputation of bein' in the
same family damnation, still, if they're clever
enough and do enough good in the world, we
genrlly forgive em for Twin.
] guess world without a single lie, Belle,
would be about cheerful as ragtme words with
out any music.
Girls would send their hances rushin' for the
hatrack by describin the dfrence in their pers'nai
appearance at 10 p. m. and at 10 m; husbands
The Washington times., 1911-09-07
THE REAL LOVE LETTERS
That He Received
Telling the Plans
OF HIS BRIDE TO BE

can l find words to express the
feeling in my heart this evenings Your short, un-
certain note / received yesterday, and today,
no letter at all Oh, it seems as though my
very heart will break if / get no news before
morning
Can it be that you neglected me because of the
motor trip with your managers daughter? Is she
young and pretty and more lovable than ! am?
No, no, don't want to feel that mistrust you
love you so much, dearest boy, but, oh, how it
hurts to think that you neglected me for her, and
perhaps- l am just blind, overwrought with
The Press., 1911-04-26
A chanuoA For tha pot4or.

The nine-year-old boy of Baltimore family who is compelled by his par. ents to practice daily upon the piano may not be clever performer. but he has a pretty shrewd notion of the worth of an instrument. as we'll as q rather mature wit. as Is evidenced by an incident in the household not long gtnce.
 His father upon returning home from a weeks absence heard the lad plugging away at the piano.
 'sWhen did you learn that new piece. eonr' asked the parent.
 'sIt isn't new; piece. 0aA.S answer ea the boy. rhs plano has been t9nsd."-LADDtncet&ss.
The Press., 1911-04-26
To the Small Power User

Have you given enough thought to the electric power proposition to KNOW whether it can help you
 The man who said "tme is money' stated great truth.
 For those requiring only a moderate amount of mechanical power there is substitute which even approaches electric power in economy efficiency and Reliability.
 small motor on a muscle driven machint means increase of the output from two to three times. ;.
 The gasoline engine cannot successfully compete in operating cost, reliability conven Be with the electric motor.
 Why not go a little further into the matter and convince yourself that these statements are correct
 WewilI undertake to demonstrate that we are right, If you will indicate that you willing to liSten -~n
 Telephone O1.
The Press., 1911-04-26

Manufacturers' cancellation sale at women's suit department, Wise, Smith 6 Co.'S. Hartford.
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12
EDUCATED FARHER2.
Railroad Kjrs Says United States Can
Never Have Ovcrsupply OF Them.

Railroad King Says United States Can
Never Have OversupPly OF Them.
Few Ueu I'm the world know more
about farming as a wealth producer
than does james J. Hi. the railroad
king: hence This extract from an aru-
Gle Of his i'm the Yale College,. News is
well worth paruSaL
III seems probable to ne" writes
Mr. Hill. that there are p GOOD many
hundred university graduates III this
country every year who wou.s. be bet
ter of IL they mao shaped their studi- $
with a view to agricultural industry
and taken their diploma straight TO the
farm.
There IS not and never Will be any
oversupply OF educated FARMERS.
at the same time the man with
university education, supplemented by
just such practical instruction as he
would feel essential to any other occu-
patton, IS certain OF success on the
farm I'D pro! grti"n TO his ability end
industry
Il Go not think Of any Other occupl-
ton OF which these sweeping asseg
lions can De made 90 uo- know of
any III which il is more possible 70 con
tinua ia connection with the main
business IL earning a living than en-
richmeuC and enlargement Of the mind,
which IS tie best gift Of university
lie and its proper though seldom real
lied continue ion after the university
has been left behind
Except for those who have made
the acquisition of wealth and power
their definite aim in life. think tie
farm offers advantages superior 20
those of business or the professions"
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12
FREE REMEDY HELPS CHILDREN

Many a mother has learned OF a
way of avoiding sickness III her fam
lily, especially among the children, BY
the use of free sample bottle OF the
famous laxative, Dr. Ca,dwell's Syrup
Pepsin. This offer Of the doctors to
send free sample bottle has been re-
spQnded to by thousands Of women
in all parts Of America.
DR.. Caldwell's Syrup PePsin is a
truly wonderful laxative am ezre-
cially adapted 10 the needs Of babies
and children because II Is pleasant to
taste and no child viii refuse it. Then.
It IS mild and never griqes r IS al
thar a child's remedy should be-
though it Is good laxative for the
whole family because it IS effective
at all ages. It IS not dynamic Ike
salts, pills and powerful cayharr-.s.
which should not be given To c..-
dTen under any circumstance
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12

Many Things used in daily life
have 70 &c bought, but most o.
our troubles are homemade.
An Effective Fly Trap.

Every garbage can ana sWiu barrel
can be converted into Il g. trap if the
device inTented by DR.. CIfJen F..
Hodge Of Clark university biological
department be adopted
The can or barrel is fitted with
loose cover which PERMITS the dies to
enter Al the top Of the cover is an
opening leadine TO a wire screen fv
trap. and It is a peculiar fact THAI
most al the flies entering the. can In
search Of food will choose to make
their exit al the top Of the can and
thus 20 TO their death III the trap.
This method is not patented and
therefore may be used by ever. body.
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12
ANIMAL . -7If re

Fur Sale Are &c r--.--..,-.- 80 ,,s.-..-
In F...-- ~,
Tha c-4 o,~,.=.. ...- .io-no-,.----r. ...
bs,. ,,,rr7, - ,,... ...,. ,.--,,.,tI e..
sba c-sTr-.s ban. -. - - 5....
-, -, 49,. -.,e,'. - ~ &
IF h.,I, ~ ~. II. - o----.
f9ca and So f.. rs..F. F-~ Lo,. -.
go
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12
Orchard and Garden.

Don't sell all the good fruit Keep
some Of the best for home use. Moth
Inc is too good for our folks.
The best remedy tor pear and apple
Blight is to cut out and burn the af-
fecred twigS rs fast as they appear.
Few persons realize to what extent
fungous troubles are robbiug The fruit
grower ana farmer OF the profits Of
his labor. Spray.
In the absence of heavy fruit WELD
in the peach orchard pruning should be
done to insure new growth Of wood
for future fruiting.
Remember that there is no fertilizer
for the garden that compares with
well rottel barnyard manure April
cation May be made any time during
the fall. even if the ground is not TO be
plowed until late.
All flowers are kept in bloom much
longer and the flowers are larger if
not allowed to form seeds. Pinch of
every flower as soon as it. begins to
fade. This is especially true of sweet
peas and pansies.
The same sun. rain and dew fall
upon the orchard of Mr. Careful as
upon that of Mr.. Slack. but Mr. Slack
gets few marketable fruits. More de-
Ponds on man and methods than upon
Maine or Montana.
1t Is very good plan to mulch the
rhubarb plants with lot Of corn
stalks or coarse grass This will pro-
tect the plants during the winter and
also keep weeds from choking the
plants If tept on after cultivation In
the spring
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12
Medical Program.

The Adair County Medical Society,
will meet in Columbia on Friday, the
l4th day of July, 1911, with the follow
ing program
The beginnings of preventive med
icine-U. L. Taylor, Columbia, KY
How shall we keep our children from
dying?-W William Blair, Glensfork, KY.
How can we prevent typhoid fever?
w. F. Cartwright, Columbia, KY.
What can we do to check the social
evil?-R. n. Perryman, Purdy, KY.
Should we require the same moral
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12

Prince Lucjs7 6o7aPzrts Won a Bride
From His Brother Pierre.

Prince Lucis7 5o7aParte Won a Bride
From Ills Brother Pierre.
It is said that the two brothers.
Prince Louis Lucie0 RonaDarre and
Prince Pierre. IT, -,e.~ early youth
when shooting uoc-aus in the noun
tGinS in Corsica, came across q beau
tiful peasant sir. with whom they %. =
fell violently in love.
Who she vas and whether she favor
ed both brothers or neither l cannot
tell. Be that rs i may. they quar-
relied Les preux chavaliers Of old
would no doubt IN similar occurren. 2
have had recourse TO lance and sword
The Corsican princes decided TO play
for their belle "a game Il cards. They
went TO the nearest inn and wrote AMI
signed a paper agreeing that which
ever won the game should marry -le
lady fair. Prince I.-cia2 Won and,
faithful to his we-6 q short time after
married her.
She never LEFT IT, island - far as
know. Prince Luc.a. lived IN England.
securing TO her q comfortable income,
which she received ,lI her death. some
where about the spring OF 1S91.-From
the Princess Nurat's Memoirs.
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12

To exc our ms ~-l--E the pea1.e = q
small country Grey re tlar as-
,or 4. donation part- among the pres
-nts being tine Rev L,esS coat ter
the pastor and a Dra,ry bonnet for bis
wife
On he following Sunday rs they
walked up the aisle in their new bo''-it-
ments the choir inadvertently srruct
out with the voluntary much 70 che
discontinue of the sensitive clergy
man and his wife-"TVho are these f.
bright array :"-Lad.e Home Journal
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12

standard of men as women?-G. T..
Simpson, Breeding ky.
Is the Vital Statistics law good one?
w. R. Grissom, Columbia, KY.
How long should we wait for our pa
irons to pay their bills?-E. T.. Sallee,
Garlin KY
Papers of their own selection by all
the other members of the society
Let all come up with,a paper, or pre-
pared to talk on these subjects, and we
will have an interesting, and profta-
BILE meeting. Don't forget the date.
U. L. Taylor,
Program Committee.
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12
YoYno. but WISE.

'Rut mamma thinks am too Young
70 marry
"Vhy should She think that? You're
much older thon she was when she got
married. aren't you?
"Yes. but father was drawing .
much larger salary at the time thal
you're getting"-Chicago Record-Her-
aid.
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12
SEND YOUR SUBSCRiP-
TON RIGHT Anal
TO THIS PAPER not TO The
Louisville Times.
rscapcd win His Life

''Twento-oue years ago laced an aw-
ful eeath, W ties H. B. Martin, Port
HARRISON. s. C. "Doctots sail I hsd
consumption and the dreadful cough l
had looked ike it, sure enough. l tried
everything, l could hear o., for my cough
and was under the treatment of the best
doctor in Georgetow as. c. for year
but could get no relief. A f1iend advised
me to try DR.. Kings New Discovery. 1
did so. and was completely cured. | feel
that | own my life 81 this great throat
and lung cure. Its positively guaranteed
for coughs, colds, AMI all bronchial af
fections. soc & sl.0O Trial bottle free
at PAUL. Drug Co.
The Adair County news., 1911-07-12

Jack-I'll be frank with you. You
are not the first girl I've kissed by any
means Maud-And I'll be equally
frank with you. You have great deal
to learn, even at that.-Boston Tran
script.