davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
Modern william Tell.

From the Chicago Tribune.
Ironwood. Mich. Nov. 27.-Joh1 Hume,
an old hunter, saved the life Of William
Dyke, aged fourteen, when a buck at
tackled the boy. Dyke had fired and
wounded the buck twice. but it con-
tinued its ferocious attack. The boy could
feel the blood fecked from the buck s
nostrils in his face. when the animal
keeled over him with a bullet through
its head. William Tell did not hit the
mark cleaner than the veteran hunter,
John Hume.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
Home Rule for Ireland.

Although the details of the bill which
is to be laid before the British House
of Commons providing for home rule
in Ireland have not yet been made pub
lie. the utterance5 of John Redmond in
dictate that the measure will be one for
which the government can easily muster
a majority.
The statement that the Irishmen pro-
pose to ask privileges which are
not enjoyed elsewhere in the British
empire is denied emphatically by Mr.
Redmond. who says that Ireland is
asking only for local parliament SIM
liar to the twenty-eight local parlia-
ments that exist in the empire to-day
He insists, also. that if the parliament
should be established it might safely be
trusted TO act with judgment and con-
servatism. 1t would not, for instance,
attempt to enact any law violating the
civil and religious rights of any creed
or class, nor would it propose violent or
revolutionary schemes. He explains
that by home rule is meant the conces-
sion to Ireland of an Irish parliament
with an executive responsible TO it
charged with the management of purely
Irish affairs and having incorporated in
the constitution every possible safe
guard for the civil and religious lib
critics of minorities and for the con-
tinued and unimpaired supremacy of
the imperial Parliament.
If the programme thus outlined is
carried into effect it certainly cannot
menace the peace and prosperity of Eng
land. There is no idea of separation
from the mother country, nor is the at
titude of the Irishmen one of dis
loyalty They ask to be placed upon
the same plane as Canada and Australia,
and promise to demonstrate that the
independent government which they ask
will inure not only to the progress of
their beloved island, but to the general
benefit of Great Britain. Under these
circumstances it is not strange that in
England some form of home rule for
Ireland is regarded as inevitable. and
that in the near future, when the de-
tails of representation have been set
tied, the long cherished desire of Irish
men will be crystallized into law.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02

commodities affected, other measures
mast be found for the relief of the
public from the trust evil.
The present quotations of the securi-
ties of the corporations formerly con-
stituting the Standard Oil Company do
not indicate that any material reduction
in their combined profits is anticipated.
This does not argue well for a reduc-
ton in the price of oil, which is the
one practical result which interests the
public
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
TABLOID THOUGHTS.

From the st. Paul Dispatch.
An ocean liner 1000 feet dong is to have
tennis, courts, golf links. cricket field.
and ball grounds. Its builders need not
hope to make it thoroughly popular un-
less they include an automobile speed
way.
From the Wheeling Telegraph
An American woman who is reputed TO
be the master Of ffty-four languages is
about to marry a man who is also an
adept in an equal number OF tongues. Just
imagine how words will fly in case that
couple should quarrel.
From the indianapolis News.
Dealers have reduced the price OF eggs
because, they say, the price has been SO
high that people would not buy, which,
unusual as II may be, seems to be q pretty
good business reason.
From the Columbia Is. c. State.
Contributing editors rush in where Ly-
man Abbotts fear to tread.
Prom the Milwaukee Sentinel.
An Ohio citizen, eighty years DID,
claims that he never las worn any I'M
derwear. Many citizen OF africa mas
done the same thing and yet failed to
get his name in the papers.
From the Ohio State Journal.
Although the gentlemen in charge as
sure us that there is no water left In the
stock of the United States Steel Cor
poration, it probably would drip little
II squeezed real hard.
From the GreenTile News.
1t is no consolation to a man VINO mas
been fleeced on Wall street to be called
a lamb, when he knows very well that ne
is only a jackass.
From the Omaha Pee.
II Mr.. Bryan is so taken with wire
less biography. it may be presumed he
will try next to inaugurate a system OF
wireless politics.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Motto: Hyou see it m The Big
S6cI. il ian I necessarily So
SHOP EARLY!
CITIZENS, Obey the Impulse-Join
The Biz Sticks Crusade

Throughout our beautiful city the
cry Of the Shop Earlyist rings with
the Wonderous clearneSs Of a lonely
coyote on an Arizona desert. In
the pink dawn Of / December morn
Il comes athWart the horizon; dur
ing the noontide struggle in the
busy mArts it mursts forth again,
and In the clear haze Of a Hintry
evening it comes like a benediction:
DO Your Christmas Shopping
Early"
DIR. Munyon has said Of all
things: There's a reason" 1t is
the reason for this outburst, this
splendid crusade against congestion,
that has moved US 20 tell what
We know Of some Of our early shop
pers. We do this that others may
come to the standard Of the Shop
EarlyistS
There is our eminent benchist.
Judge Anderson Two days ago we
found the Judge coyly sneaking
around different department stores.
His coat was bittoned high about
the judicial ears, and the eyes were
almost hidden by \ low-drawn hat.
We stepped over and saluted him
Familiarity.
why the secrecy, iudge!" we
asked.
Not word. young man." the
court whispered in our ear; not
word Of this. I am looking for
n remnant IN speeches. Something
with quantities Of fireworks and
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
FROM A PEssIMIsT.

shop Early~ comes the hOrrid
cry
Before each Christmas time.
shop EarlyI'' and I rush to buy
Before I do some crime.
Each year the sirens voice / hear,
Each year gladly fan.
And yet-Gnd yet-oh, dear, dear,
dear,
WHY SHOULD I SHOP AT
ALI
WILTON ]. LAMBERT.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
CURIOUS BITS OF HISTORY.
= BY A. w. MACY.

LINCOLNS FUNERAL TRAIN.
Magnificent was the funeral of
Napoleon when they brought him
back from st. Helena, twenty
years after his death; but sadder
and more touching was that Of
Lincoln when they brought him
back from washington to the
little prairie city that had been
his home. Twelve days were
consumed in the journey. With
q little variation, the route trav-
( ersed was the reverse OF that
taken by the Presidential party
on its way to the Inauguration,
four years before-Washingto
to Baltimore, to Harrisburg, to
Philadelphia. to New York, to
Albany. to Buffalo, to Cleveland,
to. Columbus. to Indianapolis, to
Chicago. to Springfield. There
were nine cars in the funeral
train when IT left Washington,
though only two, the funeral car
and the one occupied by the
AhoNC NAAo JO1AhCys
Others were dropped or added as
the train passed over different
lines. The funeral cortege pre-
scented as imposing spectacle as
II moved from city to city, paua-
ing at the larger ones to give
the people an opportunity to see
their beloved dead. Never in the
history of the country has there
been such universal sorrow. AS
one writer expressed 1t just after
the final scenes, the very sub
Unity of sorrow has attended
his funeral rites, for the high
and the low, the rich and the
poor, the learned and the ignor-
ant, native and foreign born,
white and black, old and young,
have wept at his tomb"
Copyright, 1911. by Joseph B. BoWles.l
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
EVERYBODY SHOULD SING.
Even IL 1t Stops the Clock or Scares
the Cat, Says Nine. stephRlI.

From the Indianapolis News
Il assert that no person is entirely I'M
musical. Music is the natural expression
OF emotion. Every one ought to sing, even
If 1t cracks the glass, stops the clock and
the cat leaves the house" Such was the
remark of Sofia Stephali at the opening
Of her series OF concert lectures last
evening at the Y. NJ. c. A. auditorium.
Nine. Stephal continued by saying that
the right song at the psychological mo-
ment produced action, and she mentioned
the songs Uf battle that inspired the
soldiers. She told OF songs in their re-
jRtion to life. how the gay songs an
swered to the mood, the pathetic song to
the feelings, and she presented the re-
lation of music to life as 1t affected the
emotions and gave rise to the purcst and
noblest Thoughts.
I'VE need mCTe and better music" she
said, and less of ragtime. We should
encourage the popular song. There is, no
greater force than song for the unfit of
the people" -,
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
REHEARsE PROGRAMME.
Blind Musicians Announce SeIec-
lions for Coming Concert.

Blind MUSICIANS Announce Seiec-
lions for Coming Concert.
The blind musicians Of the Columbia
Polytechnic Institute, 1908 H street north
west, last night held a rehearsal of their
programme which will be rendered De-
cember at a concert to be held for the
benefit of the Institution on that date at
Foundry NJ. E. Church.
The programme contains selections
from twelve grand operas, both instru-
mental and vocal
Overture, Figaro" Pilgrims Chorus"
"The Bohemian Girl" 20 Promise Me. -
''Robinhood," and other classical selec-
tons were given. The members of the
institution participating in the concert
are the Misses Grady, DUFFY. hurry, and
Patterson, and Messrs. Germuiller and
Hufty
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
go tAs top .hslf g /. egun.er.

reach the top shelf q counter.
What seek you. Thomasf" We
wanted to know.
"A policy" he replied. I'm so
ing 70 set q band new policy for
my newspaper. I'll present Il on
Christmas day
And as We started away he alled
after us.
Il also proocss to buy a cham
pionship. Maybe can eet 4 a.
h9rrzin mates II shop early.
Here are the rca.bns. an ii -
Rig Stickists. for an early shoppiug
crusade The1s gentlemen are elor-
iously diufinEaIshins themselves. b.
nidsI rItfinr what fhe7 want.
Why aot scni
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
Debenture RuIe Stands.

Until the election Of officers, during the
latter part Of this month, the rule OF
the Chevy Chase Club that all members
shall pay SO extra for the use Of the
golf links and tennis courts will remain
unchanged This was 1ecided upon at
a meeting Of the board OF >governors yes
terday afternoon.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
COMMENT ON
TIMELY TOPICS
The MiddIeman and the Tari :

Some intimation, says the New ssz
World, OF what the tariff board e u,
to comes in the Washington newA
the day. 1t has been busy finding tn
the middleman and not the tariff Is
chiefly responsible for the high cost OF
living TIE President Is said to be con-
WINGED and will treat OF # in a special
message. The World comments on It
as follows:
This is impressive. There are no man
ufacturing trusts organized to take ad-
vantage of high tariff protection. There
is no inflated capital IN protected pro-
duction working out high dividends from
high prices. There are no high tarin
taxes effective for increased cost in pro-
duction. MOI 1t Is the millions Of dis
tributers IN industry where competition
Is most intense who make the great diff
ference between consumers prices here
and abroad. How well worth perma-
nency such a finding should prove the
tariff board to be must be evident to
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
Uncle Walt Says To-day:

When winter winds raging fierce with snowdts in their
track mighty nice have erc of Doodle the shack Then
sit before the fire in peace and JOY, CAD
THE HELPFUL cooks and knock from his Tyre
BUNDLE read detective books The bowling of the bug
house Storm that gets the poor mans goat, but
his cottage warr from trouble
He the snowy gusts outside his cheerful hut and
Portable and reflections fill his He sailed down pm
wheneer he drew his pay and doesn't make him blue
when stormy day Across the street there lives skate
who never saves red and weather fills date his chill
dren howl for bread poor, detected sadyed drove their
misery's intense they shver round empty stove anwish their
pa had sense poor fine may the tolers
pay he ought to put brine the stormy ay
OCus4h. IN b o.ss. matthew Aaua, War MASON
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
AIabamn,s Corn cro,.

Frum the Montgomery Advertiser
Alabama's corn crop this year totals
nearly Ss, 600 900 bushels, which breaks the
record for this State. The boys corn
clubs probably had more to do with It
than anything else. Seasons were not the
best this year. Had the weather balanced
itself properly there is no telling what
the size Of our corn crop would have
been.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
An Appealing Lad.

From the Chattanooga Times.
George Potato, OF st. Louis, has been
arrested for flirting. He must be a sweet
potato" says the Philadelphia Inquirer.
And, no doubt, he has an eye for the
beautiful
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
WEARS a HALO.

! want to Be a shqpper
And with the shoppers stand,
A BIG wad IN my pocketbook.
A price czsd In my hand.
And when I've finished shoSpins.
III wear upon my brow
A halo. 'cause have eheyed
The picard. DO Il noEi''
5. H. BRIANr.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
BELATED THANKS.

For the fact that al the pianoIas
and phonographs and adde's and
the HE that are bought al Christ
mastide don't coma into my home,
] rejoice. o. J. DE MoLL.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
The Ocean Liner Of the F'utur..

Ffnm the New Yort Evening Post
The l,5oo-foot Transatlantic liner Behe-
mothic, which is soon to be put on the
stocks, win be provided with three
ring circus, a Presidential convention,
and financial panic.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
AN APPEAL,

Come and do your SHOPPING early;
Thus escape the hnriy-burly.
Stocks are now complete and varied;
You would miss them n you tarriod.
CLERKS are not all worn and suriY-
Come and do your ahopplng early.
(. WASHINGTON T0PHAM.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
His SuHplciOn.

Il get lot of mail Offering chances
to invest"
Maybe you have a reputation as a
fnancier."
"Or maybe somebody has my name on
a sucker list"
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
MINIATURE BULBS ON VIEW.
New Designs shown by National
Electrical supply Company.

Miniature designs IN electric bulbs
tastefully arranged in Illuminating ropes
have transformed the windows OF the
National Electrical Supply Company. at
1890 New York avenue northwest, into a
scene OF surprising beauty.
The electric bulbs add cheer to the
spirit Of Christmas decked on the Christ
man tree, and are also an absolute pre-
ventive of fire. With the use of the
miniature bulbs, wonderful effects are
produced without the usual danger at
tached to candles.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
And Depart Ju.t = Ea.y

From the Des Moines Tribune.
The Bureau Of Engraving and Print
Ing Is issuing an avalanche Of brand
new 81 bills. but they win be Just as
hard to get hold OF as the old ones.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
A BIaHe Kid,

do you love your parents. Reginald?' -
"Oh, yes"
And why do you love your parents,
RegInald?"
oh, it's the conventional thing"
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
The weather Mans Point of View.


Wits L. Moore, the weather man,
wants US to raise more food and less
dickens. Though he doesn't set up to be
a philosopher, It is plain to him that We
should strain our brains less and our
backs more. We will be better of with
less taIkee-talkee and more workee-
workee.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
WE THINK HE WOULD.

Editor me Biz sdck;
II I oerred George sione 4 did
Eon q division Of ny fcrty-third
nbdisision. do yoa think he would
aecspt M B. +. SAUL.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02

Albert Z. Shoemaker will do no
shopping until he becomes con-
vinced that the remnants Of the
season will be sold first.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
Hard ON the Governor.

II was rather hard that the governor
Of Arkansas, right in the capital city Of
his own State, should be put on 9 street
car and compelled to walk just because
he had nothing in his pocket except a
The New York Times says: "A tactful con-
ductor would have trusted SO disttn-
guished a passenger, or said: oh, that's
all right guv'nor, SEEM It's your
This particular conductor. however. stood
by the rule that nothing bigger than
two-dollar bill was to be changed. and, As
the governor couldn't pay, and nobody
offered to pay for him, the governor
walked. 49,.
THE misguided official says that he
doesn't know why he was put on the
car, but expects to know before the
matter is ended. That, now, is not
pretty way to talk about an episode IN
which he was wholly to blame for what
happened, so far as blame fell upon any
body. Not only is the rule as to bills
larger than 81 entirely reasonable, but
nobody is under compulsion to make
lchange' for even the smallest coin that
can be changed. No tender is legal ex-
cept the tender Of the exact amount
needed TO close a transaction, and any
body who doesn't do that has no rights,
not even the right to growl-
People who habitually spend all Of
their small money before they will
break a bill deserve all the trouble and
annoyance that comes upon them, and
when wiser folk by unavoidable accident
find themselves changeless where change
is needed, they should accept the conse-
ounces with philosophy"
CurbInE the Divorce Evil.
A reform organization in Kansas City
has raised a fund to pay the salary Of
a proctor" who is to undertake the
task of curbing the divorce evil as it
exists in that city. The Chicago Even
ing Post, telling this. adds: THE idea
is a good one, not only for that city,
but 1t might be employed pro1tably else
where The proctor will have the power
to summon witnesses, to go into other
States and take dispositions, and to cross
examine witnesses during divorce trials.
Judges, attorneys, and others are CO.
operating in the movement. and 1t is ex-
pected that the Office of proctor will be-
come generally established. The Kansas
State Bar Association has tafen-up the
idea and is proposing to provide for proc
tors in all the large cities of that State.
The necessity for the action taken in
Kansas City f. apparent from the fact
that so per cent OF the divorce cases
tried in that city last year were not
contested. 1t Is reasonable to suppose
that some OF these suits were fraudu-
lent, and that q large PERCENTAGE OF
them were brought through collision
on the part Of those involved"
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
SHOPPING NOTES.
By YE LOCAL SCRIBE.

The War Department was seen
in + street yesterday. II is pre-
sumed that the W. d. is going to
make Mai. George Aimes a Christ
mas present Of that generalship he
says is coming TO him.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02

Charles A. Douglas horse-and-bug-
sied along Pennsylvania avenue last
Thursday in search Of a case. I'M
I'll we learn whether It was a cigar
case, 4 suit case. or 4 legal case
We can't guess who will receive the
present.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02

Col. Arthur Z. Randle came to
our town from his Highlands last
midweek and wandered around in
search Of Christmas trees. He in
tends doing some Santa Claus WORK
out in his own suburb.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
After THANKSGIVING.

What's all that chatter out in the barn
yard?' .--s
Il think it's the boss turkey. calling
the roll" ~,
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02

DR., Francis P. Hagner depart
ment-stored last week in search Of
a chahng dish. The doctor wouldn't
say whether he Was going TO give it
TO the Metropolitan Club or not.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
SOME TRIBuLATIoN.

Percy Foster writes Us thai be
can't do any early shopping this
year. because somebody always aees
him frst.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02

Readers Of The Big Stick. allow TO you Mr.
Phil and the
Of the Chamber q b.
about kicking youth who kicked
the psktn from Boston to Ispsh the other day isn't marker
to Phil King When kicks there Il something
And for baseball he is combination Of Hans Wagner ~
Napoleon Lajte. and all
sit The
oornwers story
Phil ball to center field, and
and putting himself out A diagram Of this
able performance VIII be Furnished application.
Great is MACK and Chief Bender. but
King He 5 Of the he had only
would
in marble he gets his picture In The Big
that insures 10 him undying fame afe
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02

Greed NJ. Fulton will purchase
quantities Of presents this year for
his good old friends, the board Of
education.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
Too Sensible.

The lady muskrat puts on fur,
An inch or two.
In winter time you won't see her
In peekaboo.
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
Uncle Pennywise Says,
In Bridge Terms.

Would you like some of my husbands
old clothes?"
That depends, madam" answered the
wayfarer. Does he discard from strength
or weakness?"
The Washington herald., 1911-12-02
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

END OF THE EXCURSION.
We all rode down to Turkeytown
To spend Thanksgiving Day.
The time we had was gay and glad;
Delightful was our stay.
But coming back we jumped the track
And got a dreadful spill.
And some. I'll bet, are stranded yet
At old Dyspepsiaville.
Uncle Pennywise Says
It's sad to see human dynamo on the
scrap heap.
The Aftermath.
Il think our landlady drew, things a
trifie fine after Thanksgiving"
AS to how?"
Gave us celery-top soup and cram
berry hash"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-06-22
Getting Acquainted.


When . new family moves In next
door the old boy and the new boy
climb up on the fence to get acquaint
- and It 10 done as follows:
What's your manner"
None Of your business-what's
yoursfs
"Nons Of your business. You are
Sassy"
80 are you"
Don't you talk back to mel"
And don't you to mel"
I'm N awful tighter when I'm
mId!"
And I'm awfullsr than you ars!.
I've got { dog"
And I've got q goat."
And Avs minutes later they are
eood friends"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-06-22
DOCTOR PRESCRIBES
CUTICURA REMEDIES

Il wish to let you know of q couple
Of recent cures which I have made
by the use Of the Cuticura Remedies.
Last August. Mr.. - Of this city
came to my office, troubled with q
severe skin eruption. 1t was dermatitis
IN its worst form. 1t started with q
slight eruption and would affect most
parts Of his body. thighs, elbows.
chest, back and abdomen-and would
terminate in little pustules. The itch.
ing and burning was dreadful and he
would almost tear his skin apart, try.
Ing to get relief. I recommended all
the various treatments I could think
Of and he spent about fifteen dollars
on prescriptions. but nothing seemed
to help him.
In the meantime my wife. who
was continually suffering with a slight
skin trouble and who had been try.
Ing different prescriptions and meth
DDS with my assistance, told me she
was going to get some Of the Cuticura
Remedies and give them a fair trial.
But az I did not know much about
Cuticura at that time I was doubtful
whether It would help her. Her skin
would thicken. break and bleed. es.
pecially on the fingers. wrists and
arms. I could do nothing to relieve
her permanently. When she FIRST ap.
piled the warm baths Of Cuticura
Soap and applications Of Cuticura
Ointment she saw q decided improve
ment and in q few days she was o
pletely cured.
Il lost no time In recommending
the Cuticura Remedies to Mr.. -.
and this vas two months ago. told
him to wash with warm baths Of the
Cuttcura Soap and to apply the CUT.
cura Ointment generously. Believe
mo. from the very FIRST days use Of
the Cuticura Remedies he was greatly
relieved and today he is completely
cured through their use. I have great
faith In the Cuticura Remedies and
shall always have . good word for
them now that I am convinced Of
their wonderful merits" (signed) B.
L whitehead, N. D., 10s Dartmouth
st.. Boston. Mass. July a.. 1910.