davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times., 1911-03-25
stone Gets smyth's place.

]. K. Stone, OF Essex, has been ap-
pointed liquor license inspector OF
South Essex to succeed James Smyth,
who has received a position as immi-
grafton agent In England. Smyth
went TO Ireland on a six months leave
OF absence some time ago. He was In
disfavor with some OF the leading Con-
servatives In his district because of
his activity in enforcing the law.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-25
MRS. sCHwEGLER GETS DIVORCE
Judge Murphy stops Testimony and
Grants Decree.

After number OF days of spicy
testimony. Mrs. Molly Schwegler was
granted divorce from her husband.
John IL. Schwegler. Monroe-ave.
jeweler. Friday afternoon. by Judge
Murphy. Mr.. Schwegler was on the
stand, Friday afternoon, when the
court called the attorneys for oou
sides into a conference at which
property settlement was affected.
Judge Murphy then announced that
he would grant decree
The Detroit times., 1911-03-25
Hamtrannck Democrats Name candl-
dates

The Democrats of Hamtramck town
ship made the following nominations,
Friday night: Clerk, Arthur Hitchins:
treasurer, Peter Mohaske; justice OF
the peace, Bernard J. Binder: over
seer Of the highways, George Pallister;
board Of review, Charles j. Faber:
constables, Earl Thompson, Peter
Stock, August Weserling. John Kusch
and Joseph Frank.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-25
FOR CONSTRUCTING vITRIFlED
CROCK LATERAL SEWERS

Roll No. 74ss. For construcunf VI
rified crock Lateral Sewer No Ill IN
ailsys in blocks bounded BY Hamnton
and Montolair avenues, lots tis ~ -
46 and Jefferson avenue A.s.. a
Part 1 is due and payable "e
davs from date OF this notice
Z and 4 become due and psysoIs I'm 49, yn..
two and three years, respsc.. 1ssn
the date Of this notice. tcts. 49,
interest At the rate OF per cent aro1 s
he date when the work was Aeespsse
oy r iss S'r q said pArts may Be ps,a
xi,hin 40 days from the dafs OF TIM
notice. without interest
~ Either OF the parts one. two. tnree
&C., shaIl not be paid when they
become due. s per cent penalty and IN
terest al the rate OF per cent Een
he dare when the work was accepted
~ the city will Be added. and The
ey.raIses assessed will be sdvsrtis<d
md sold as provided BY law. 49, =.
MAX c. KOCH,
tsss, city Treasures.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-25
Hoods
SarsapariIIa
All Spring Blood Diseases
and Ailments

Possesses medicinal merit Peculiar to Itself and has
an uneuuaed record of cures. Take it this spring,
in usual LIQUID form or tablets known Sarsatabs.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-25
pRoF. wENLEY,s SON NAB1xD.
Young Man Accused Of Stealing "a
From Store.

James weniey. IS years old. SON OF
Prof. Robert M. Wenley. who has the
chair OF philosophy In the Univenity
OF Michigan. IL locked up IN the Cen
trail police station on q charge of TAX
ing $22 from J. b. Gremberg's store.
No. 1876 Gratiot-ave. The police say
the young man admits taking the cashl
from the once OF the frm. when he
went there TO use the telephone.
EQUAL parts OF kerosene and tur-
pentine make a good furniture polish.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-25

The man who has no faith in human
nature has a reason: HIMSELF.
The Detroit times., 1911-03-25
CITY OF DETRoIT-0FHCE OF
THE CITY TREASURER.

Detroit, Mhrcn %, VIZ
Notice IL hereby given 10 all persons
this office the following named asses
ment roll:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22
The Man and the Baby.

He looked at her and she Sazed at him.
ence would have on her, and positively
dreading lest he should see the corners of
her little mouth droop-the forerunner of
a whole-hearted yell-he cautiously made
a grimace at her and grunted, hoping to
be rewarded with baby's smile to him
alone; quite unmoyed in that direction.
she still gazes at him, but without the
faintest suggestion of sneer or any
scorn. The self-consciousness that he felt
rising disappears. He makes another eff
tie bald head a curious side twist and her
fort to win that smile. She gives her lit
eyes dilate trifle, and so openly sincere
and interested does she appear that if she
had put a question to him he would not
have been surprised. He, too. Is inter-
ested now, for the Eaby has taken him
into her confidence and reads the man as
lie is, not what all the rest of the world
might think him to be at that moment.
Here is some one who will see him as he
is-will read the emotions of his heart.
one to whom self-consciousness is an
absolute stranger, and who thinks he is
the same as herself. In the whole of his
career the man has never met such a
companion before, and joy and pleasure
rise from his soul as he gaZes on the
baby. Quick to see Ii, the baby's mouth
brOadens, her little chin and cheeks dim
pie up. her eyes disappear. all except two
merry sparllles In them. and her little face
is wreathed in a broad smile. Genuinely
from his soul-the man smiles at the
baby. God has given him a new revela-
ton of love. The man loves the baby.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22
Practical Jokes Popular
With the Partisan Public

Special Correspondence of The Star.
PARIS, January l.. 1911.
PRACTICAL jokes at any ones ex-
pense occur daily in Paris and are
the life of the Partisan press. The other
day two advertisements appeared in a
certain newspaper One ran thus: "A
wealthy lady would like to marry dis
tinguished and blocking gentleman.
even without fortune" The other was as
follows: "A rich gentleman wishes to
marry a distinguished woman. even with
out fortune" Over POO replies came in.
Answers were returned to the women in
a mans handwriting and to the men in a
woman's, appointing meeting at GER
tain cafe All of them were requested to
year white rose to assist recognition.
The amaZement of the walters at this
particular establishment may be i'm
agined when countless cabs drew up with
out cessation for an hour, depositing men
and women, all wearing white roses, at
the door All of the arrivals perceived at
a glance that a trick had been played
upon them, but while some rushed out in
fury, others accepted the position with
such compla cency that many couples en-
tered into conversation. the foundation of
various matches being laid under these
peculiar circumstances.
The perpetrator of the hoax who is
suspected and with good reason. of being
present to enjoy the fun. had forwarded
a letter informing the authorities that q
party of royalsts, bent on Matching a
plot were to meet at the cafe at that
hour In consequence the flower-bedecked
lovers were closely scrutinized by host
of detectives.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22

I was one, sought to suppress-inef1ectu-
ally, I am afraid-our laughter
Ever after that-as long as we re-
manned at the establishment-we were
wont to repeat at the table the mystic
phrases. How about those greenbacks"
and Dutch oven" and the effect upon the
presiding old maid was quite extra
ordinary.
"A rather cruel joke was played upon
one Of us. German, by another devotee
of the practical jest 1t was in the
days of the Louisiana lottery. and the
TeutOnic cleric was communicated with
apparently officially, by the authorities
of the lottery-to the effect that he was
the winner Of the grand prize. amounting
TO what was. in his eyes, a considerable
fortune. The communication was sent
to him at-and I may observe. indeed, 1t
was prepared in-the office, and when he
He was engaged at this time in FASTING
dilapidated documents, having been re-
Gently reduced to this somewhat unin-
tellectual employment, and the circum-
stance evidently ranked within him.
when he got the communication, or
what appeared to him as such, OF his
vast fortune. his actions were, to say
the least. extraordinary.
Catching up the detested paste pot, he
hurled it against the opposite wall, mar
rowly missing the head of an intervening
clerk, and exclaimed:
To the dickens mid der hastings! I
go back to Germany und live better den
Gen. Grant, alreaddy.
'He was with difficulty prevented from
going to the Nresiding authorities OF the
department and Office and telling them in
round. unvarnished language, just what
he thought Of them. l need scarcely
say that the reaction from this mood,
following upon a knowledge of the truth,
was very painful indeed. 1t was prac-
teal jest of which / by no means APP
proved. Yet such have been some of
my diversions in this sort in the weary
course of my routine in Uncle Sans serv-
ice in this city"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22
American Preparations
for Coronation Show
Special Correspondence of The Star.

Special Correspondence of The Star.
LONDON, January i. 1911.
TT is uncertain as yet whether the pro-
! ceedings at the International horse
show, which opens June Il next. Will be
suspended coronation day or not. How
ever, no effort will be spared TO make
the show one that will attract many
thousands of the visitors who are COM
ing to London for the greater event.
The contingent of American horsemen
who are to compete is larger tnan ever.
in spite of the fact that all the entries
have not been made. Judge W. h.
Moore again will be the largest Ameri-
can exhibitor. T.. I. Stotcsbury, Pier
pont Morgan's partner. one or the di-
rectors of the show, and who has not eX-
hibited over here for two seasons. Is To
have several entries. j. ". Hartman,
{. W. Watson. Paul Sorg. +. ii. Wealth
erbee and Clarence Moore are also
bringing their best horses for compeu.
ton Miss Bowen OF New 1orh VIII
enter several hackneys.
Lieut.. Sifton and Capt Douglas Young
are bringing a strong team from Canada.
the Hon. Adam Beck of Toronto VIII DE
here with his hunters. and Messrs ROW
and Murray of the same city VIII bginE
some of their best jumpers. Already
large number of private boxes nave peen
reserved by American visitors who Wall
be here for the coronation.
The terrace garden which surrounded
the arena last year will be succeeded by
Ia even more elaborate range OF old ga
bled and red-tiled house fronts. culminat-
ing in a particularly fine reproduction or
EliZabethan architecture, with oak pam
cling and latticed windows, as a back
ground to the royal box.
Last year the prize list amounted to
almost SJG.O00. This year the list has
already reached $4,000 and will prob
ably be not less than $4,000 before the
list is published.
Over $1,000 is being offered in prizes
for jumping and several novel jumps
are being prepared. Military jumping al
ways has been a strong feature at the
international show. and the cnlef prize
is the King Edward VII gold cup, Of
fered by his late majesty for competition
between officers of different nationalities.
The cup has to be won three times be-
fore il can become the actual property OF
any nation l. has been taken once, in
1869. by France, and once, last year, by
Belgium.
An Interesting addition will be the Rus
sian section. One competition viii ne
for trotter and 'prestashka, in wagon
or droshky. In this class two animals
are driven together. the horse on the
near side being a trotter, while the on
side or right-hand horse is a galloper.
In the 'troina' class three horses are
driven abreast, the central trotter being
fianked by ga!lopers. The fun equipment
of Russian harness and 'troikas' will DO
provided, forming a collection that never
has been seen before in England. In
fact. it is believed that Walter Winans,
the famous American horseman, has the
only ''troika" in this country. Several
Russian noblemen intend to send their
own horses. carriages and coachmen for
the competition.
1t is estimat ed that 10000 visitors will
attend the show this year.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22
The Department Clerk Wakes Reminiscent;

took him in hand and utilized him for a
most singular purpose.
1--WE were both rooming In the same es-
tablishment-my humorist friend and /
and we. in common with the rest OF the
boarders. were dominated by lady, the
daughter of the landlady, who was. in
fact. a tyrant in her way. OF the land
lady herself we had none but pleasant
thoughts, for she was good, wholesome
soul and very different from her sour Off
spring. Now, my practically humoristic
friend saw his way to new comedy in
this apparently unpromisng situation, and
this is the way he manipulated it.
He approached the mysterious stranger
in most confidential way one pay day,
and, pulling out some greenback notes. he
intimated that, whereas the majority Of
persons were content with one note, as
dispensed by the United States Treasury,
he was in the habit Of making two Of it
in other words. of doubling ihis emolu-
ment by the exercise of a subtle art.
which he had lately discovered, and which
was beyond the reach of the most skilled
detectives.
This practice seemed to impress the
mysterious stranger nightly. Coming
out of his shell, as it were, he eagerly
asked to be acquainted with the details
the Valuable, IL III oCcSS, anu
was Informed that the whole art of split
ting greenbackS was an exceedingly SIM
pie and safe one, and that II he would
call at our boarding establishment upon
a certain night he would be made ia
miliar Herewith, and his services utilized
in the new scheme of cheating the gov
eminent
HE was told on no account to con-
fer with the landlady herself, but with
the daughter-who was in the scheme
he n amnlaV the t0lnfprSipn in
the first instance, of How about those
greenbacks? The daughter; 1t may be
observed. usually answered the door of
the house, but occasionally this duty was
performed by her parent. In the event
of the initial phrase not Erecting ready
entrance our visitor was TO follow it up
with Dutch oven" this utensil. it being
explained, playing an important part in
the splitting process
The night upon which the appointment
was to be effected proved to be a very
stormy one and We thought-all In the
house that were in on the secret-that
our visitor might not make his appear
ance. But the greed Of gold is mighty,
and at the appointed time ring at the
bell intimated to an anxious group hid
ing within hearing distance of the front
portal that the occasion was nigh.
The door, contrary to usual custom
was answered by the landlady herself,
and the figure that met her gaze. habted
in a long black cloak and SLOUGH hat.
evidently ga not can IoitH HcT usual nos
pitality a muffied voice said:
81 wish to see Miss -.
MY daughter: you wish to see my
daughter gasped the landlady. Why,
what do you want with my daughter
II can't tell you. madam was the re-
ply. 4 want to see your daughter on
very private business.
THE old lady was completely flabber-
gasted. but she called her daughter. and
the latter was greeted by the ominous-
looking stranger with the expression:
How about those greenbacks?
What. was the reply. In something
between a Shrek and a gasp
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22

and the garde champetre. with the help OF
the local baker. was designated to take
him there. On the road the lunatic had q
lucid interval and showed some repug-
nance to going with them. The garde
consulted with the baker and they decid-
ed to humor him by offering him drinks,
in which they Joined. By the time they
reached the asylum all three were in
three is it?' wired the director to the
mayor "Legrand," was the reply; but
in transmitting 1t the telegraph operator
licked of lie Grand, meaning the tall
one. As the garde was taller than the
two others. he was retained, and the luna
tic and the baker returned to the VII.
lage, when the lunatic, who was the first
to get sober. told on the others.
Lieut. Mokretar Of the I'd Native Afri-
can Sharpshooters forming part Of the
French colonial army. was killed during
the Morocco campaign. His widow ap-
piled for a pension. Recently a second
widow applied for pension. The war
office declined to pay more than one pen
sion, and rejected the second widow S
claim. Thereupon she appealed to the
council Of state and has won her case.
The lieutenant was a Mussulman, and.
according to the tenets Of his faith, could
have married four wives legally; he was
most moderate in having only two. The
war office will have to serve two pensions
to his two widows, and may think itself
lucky it has not four to pay.
Mile. Gaby Deslys, the pretty young
actress. has been beautifully stung. Since
her return from Vienna she had driven
out in her motor car fifteen times. when
she received a bill for three thousand dol
lars worth of tires. Two hundred dol
lars a drive for tires alone seemed pre-
posterous. and she at once sent for the
dealer. But the dealer proved that he
had really delivered number of tires at
the rate of $50 each. the usual price.
The chauffeur was then asked to ex-
plain The only thing he could say was
that tires wear out rapidly. Deslys. not
satisfied with this, referred the matter to
the police. and the magistrae made an
inquiry. He found dozens of wornout
tires in the garage. Later the chauffeur
confessed to having purchased them for
next to nothing and having kept them in
place of the new tires, which he disposed
of at a fair price. 1t enabled him to
treat his chums to drinks. The chauffeur
is in custody and meanwhile Deslys is
saddled with bill of $1,000 for tires she
never used.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22
An Exhibit of District Fauna

will not be complete by any manner
of means. But DR.. True and his corps
of assistants are working as rapidly
as possible to obtain such specimens as
will make the collection valuable one
to District students, and as fast as lis
possible the collection will be increased
until it includes all the fauna OF the
District
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22

~HE old government department
clerk waxed reminiscent again
the other day.
II remember" he said. as his
eyes twinkled behind his spec
tacles. "a clerk here in the office num-
Der of years ago who sought, by every
means in his power. to curry favor with
our chief The variety of methods en-
ployed by my courtier-like confrere Tor
this purpose was truly surprising, and,
whether they were effectual or not, they
certainly gave the rest of us plenty OF
amusement.
..One day this favor-seeking clerk got
run over in the street during the lunch
hour, whether by accident or design
cannot to this day say with any degree
Of certainty. At all events, he wasn't
much hurt, despite the fact that when
We gathered around him he assumed a
corpse-like attitude. One impressionable
young man. somewhat alarmed by TINS
condition of insensibility, called loudly
into the ear of the apparently dying one:
Blank, Blank, can you recognize any
of us?''
Now it CHANGED that the chief clerk
was standing in the outermOst edge OF
the surrounding group, directly In line
with the back of the head OF the unfor-
tunate victim.
Notwithstanding which the latter. with
the most amazing contortions, slowly
turned his head around until one feared
ne would never be able TO get ii III a
right position again. and exclaimed in
an audible but extraordinary voice:
~ recognizable. Brackett-the chief
clerk. and Immediately re.apsed into in
senstbility.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22

Several OF my comrades. at one time
and another, have been inveterate prac-
tical tokers and. although this form OF
humor is not always productive Of good
TO the victim. l recall one instance in
which the latter decidedly benefited. The
victim in this case was one of the numer-
Gus subjects-perhaIs / may say slaves
OF that tyrant John Barleycorn. One
morning he came to the office in an up
usually .shaky' condition, evidently
wavering between the sober reaction and
the menace OF another indeed. he con
veyed TO US, by his remarks, that such
was his sad condition.
when noon came | am afraid IL was
a case of another and perhaps more
with our unfortunate friend. Our con-
frere addicted TO practical testing then
let US in on plan which he had hatch
ed. In the absence of the too convivial
one he produced a hidSous false face, de-
plotting the popular conception of the
devil. and put us up to the part We were to
play in the ensuing scene.
We were all together-the desk of the
practical joker was in the next room
working away tremendously. The shatter-
ed nerves OF the conviviali.t were evident
ly soothed, not to say exhilarated. by his
MONDAY rotations, and he CHANGED to be
sitting facing the door leading into the
hall. This portal opened almost noise
leSsly, and a diabOlical apparition con-
fronted the gaze of the topper as he
glanced up from his labors. He called the
attention OF the rest OF the room TO the
hideous head. but they looked blankly
from the door which was now closed as
the head vanished to the Mortified man.
and seemed astonished.
Why, didn't you see it?' exclaimed
the victim.
"Of course, we all denied having per-
ceived anything abnormal. and even de-
MED the opening OF the door. Then we
sought, in a soothing manner, TO convince
him that he was evidently ID danger oil
getting them again., and. though ht
endeayosed to appear incredulous and de-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22

.1 St rqpG $R28 @ y
This Is Why YOl
BY Herb
Once upon time multiplication seemed the most npregnd
bic buwark that your little brain could storm
But because you tried hard mastered table after
another eventually had such figures that you
actually found yourself cutting path through the Jungle OF frac
ton and after few of persistent application you even
conquered compound fractions.
All that did then keep at mastering your alot-
ted daily tasks until you @knev little book
There problem the face of this earth that can't be
solved patient and gradual and thorough endeavor
What you lack method You plunge into the middle leap
10 the end and then hop back to the start.
There's no system your processes half
work lDasted.
Your ideas do not link logical consecutive chain Your
brain and You don't clearly defined
path of reason
An express constantly switched into sidings won't reach
destination quickly sow freight that pus steadily
along the right-of:way
Surrey your track before steam Lay ties
ballast and spike down rail before you set the next
Speed instead of stability doesn't lie in its
uake
You can't understand why many travelling ahead
of You're brighter but erratic haven't
knowledge in proper array.
You're running schedule-you haven't predeter-
mined
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22

A lunatic named Legrand, who has
been giving some trouble in a country
place, is the unintentional perpetrator of
another joke. The mayor of the town or
dered him to be shYt up in an asylum,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22

1.-The expression was repeated. and
then, as the frightened woman still re-
manned dumbfounded, it was followed by:
Dutch oven.'
Mother. Mother" screamed the lady.
distractedly. there's crazy man here"
and she retreated, as the group, of which
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-22

con one occasion we had a financially
ambitious chap among us. Nothing would
do but he must go on to New York and
seek fortune in the devious ways OF Wall
street. 1t was in the days of Jay Gould's
supremacy in the then world Of high
finance. and the practical humorist re-
marked. while discussing the situation
with the. errant one:
If a letter to my friend Gould would
do you any good. l would be very hap
py-
We'll, that, and what followed filled
our departing confrere with joy and hone
The letter was duly prepared. 1t com
menced / remember. tfamiiiarly and af-
fectionately, My dear Could and went
on to enumerate the numerous and varied
accomplishments and virtues of the an
plicant for fortunes favors in the most
lavish terms. 1t is, perhaps. needless TO
dilate upon the subsequent adventures of
our friend with that letter. Some OF then,
were. TO him, painful and disconcerting in
the extreme. His misfortunes as he de-
scribed them. were really piiful. and 1t
is best to draw the curtain. Let us hope
that in a humber sphere. he found that
lone clerk-it's a number of years ago
now, and the recounting of the matter
will hurt no one-turned up In our midse
in a most mysterious manner. He was ar
Englishman, dark and meager as to looks
dark and meager as TO antecedentS. OuI
friend OF the practical testing procGvities