The Washington herald., 1911-12-15
Statesmen, Real and Near
By FRED c. KELLY.

BY FRED c. KELLY.
Senator James E. MARITIME, Of New Jer-
sey, is free to say that he reaches the
absolute pinnacle of Joy in this life when
making a speech.
Il am happiest," he says, when fore
ing my convictions upon my fellow-men."
II given reasonable opportunity. the
new Skeeter State Senator should be
easily the leading long-distance, Weston
talker of the United States Senate. And
he is a Weston talker in more ways than
one. For when he talks he walks. He
PAGES about constantly like a man who
had telegraphed for money. Once he was
talking from a temporary platform to a
New Jersey gathering. and in his en-
thusiasm over the convictions that he
was setting forth, he walked clear OF the
platform and landed on the heads Of sew
eral innocent bystanders.
Two strong men picked him up and
showed him back on the platform, and
he kept right on talking and never missed
a single word! One would have thought
1t was all a part of the regular per-
Torrance.
On another occasion, MARITIME was walk
ing up and down the stage in a Jersey
town hall, and was just rounding the
seventeenth lap Of his journey, when q
man in the rear. with a voice like q
Methodist pipe organ. shouted:
Hey there, are you walkin' or talkin'
II you're going to walk, walk, but II
you're here to talk, then talk"
MARITIME paused for just a fraction OF a
second and stated that he felt certain he
could do both-and kept right on talking
and walking.
Curtis Guild. Ambassador to Russia,
likes to have his name pronounced prop
erly. Guild is pronounced with the "T'
as in guy"
Some time ago Guild was at a Wash
ington hotel and a newspaper man wish
ed an interview on a subject that Guild
did not wish to discuss.
Tell him you're not in" suggested
friend
NO" says Guild. II don't like to lie
to the man. Besides, he probably knows
l am in"
Guild and his friend started through the
hotel lobby, briskly. hoping to evade the
pursuer, but the man overlook them.
Are you Mr.. Gild?" asked the corre-
spondent.
No answered Guild.
"Ah. beg your pardon" And the
man started on away.
But Guild felt guilty and called linn
back.
I'm not Mr.. Gid" he said, but I'm
Mr.. Guild. If that's who you're after.
What can I do for your"
One sultry morning last spring, Con-
gresham Irwin S. Pepper, of Muscaene.
Iowa, who represents the Second Iowa
District, strolled along Pennsylvania ave-
nue. in this town, and bumped into an
old college friend. They had sat near
each other when Pepper was attending
law school here.
well, Well" exclaimed the friend.
Haven't seen you for some time. Lets\
see. how longs it been since we gradu-
ated here. That's right. just six years
ago. Going to be in town a while?''
Yes, a little WHILE" replied Pepper.
How're you making out? Getting a
nice little practice worked up?"
"Oh, yes. pretty fair
And. by the way. what brings you to
Legal business
Pepper gave the man a funny look.
why" he replied, modestly. I'm work.
ing here now"
Nor exclaimed the friend. Where
abouts?"
"Over in the northeast section Of town."
Pepper told him. I'm in Congress II you
must know the worst"
"Quit your kiddin'"' shouted the friend,
as he slapped Pepper on the back, and
walked away.
But 1t was so. Pepper went to Musca- |
tine to practice his profession and was
elected county prosecutor almost the first !
dash out of the box He was serving |
his second term, when the folks there up !
and bundled him of to Congress. Pepper I
IS q Democrat, the only one from Iowa !
IN either the House or Senate.
James r. Mann, Republican floor lead
er, has lot of friends over the country |
who have been sending him eatable COM
nodities ever since they saw a piece in |
the papers about the turkey somebody |
sent him for Thanksgiving. But the thing |
hat vexes Mann Is that. while he has
received the whole gamut OF winter eat
ables from country sausage to apples, |
nobody has sent him so much as an ounce |
II milk chocolate. Mann, like a boy |
scout depends on that compact form of |
which he carries in his side |
pocket, to tide him over many a long /
trudge. when things are so |
busy on the floor that he cannot take |
lime for luncheon.
One of the prize hard-luck tales Of the |
season has been sprung by Representa-
i've Copley. of Illinois. 1t relates to the
'itiable plight OF the farmers in that
state.
Copley was driving through a rural sec
ION Of his district a month or two ago,
md stopped at a farm house for lunch.
well, you've had a pretty prosperous
rear, take it, observed the Congress
nan.
Huh" grunted the farmer, 1--WE just
Itarted to build a new corncrib that'll |.
,ost me $500 or $500. Just seems like
here's something all the time to spend
money for I've been here goin' on to
nineteen years and never did have more'n
200 bushels of corn before, and this
rear blamed II the crop didn't amount
o about 1900 bushels Now. I've got to
ret this new crib to put II all In
And he looked as II he were going to
.ry.
Copyright. Hn. By Frsd @. Kelly Al rights
roerved.l