The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1911-12-10

III operation on the grass plot before
your very door?"
My doar SIR replied Madison, with
out-thc suspicion of smile, could
you DC brought to realize how much
trouble have had already in getting
that grass plot to grow, you would
never suggest anything Of the kind
No, sir II the suillotine must conc
let 1t stand elsewhere"
jefferson once said of James Mon
roe: "He is so perfectly honest that
If his soul were turned inside out
there would not be found n spot on
it," When he heard of it Monroe
laughed and said: Jefferson should
have examined the outside before he
turned IT." Andrew Jackson was both
funmaker and deeply apprcoIative of
the efforts of others In that direction,
only stipuIating that the quality OF
the pleasantly should not be too
subtle. He was especially responsive
to the practical-joke species of humor.
Both John Quincy Adams and John
Tyler took themselves too seriously to
give full rein to their capacity to see
the humorous side of situation, and
the younger Harrison was very much
like them in that respect.
VIM Buren's witty Escapc From an
Embarrassing situation.
Martin Van Buren, was the most
polished wit in the public life of his
day. When he resigned his position as
Secretary OF State in General Jack
sons Cabinet, the old soldier was de-
termined to give his young friend
"Matty.' as he called him even In
public, the best place within his gift.
He appointed him minister to England.
and without waiting for the Senate's
confirmation, Van Buren, sailed for his
new post. The hostile Senate rejected
him, and the news of his failure to
be confirmed reached him while he was
n guest at n brilliant entertainment
given by Prince Talleyrand, the French
minister.
Going straight up to the prince, who
was In the centre OF group of the
most distinguished pcrsorages In Lon
don, the discrcdited minister made
public. the news which had reduced
him from American representative to
plain Martin Van Buren,. "And 50, your
cxcellency," he concluded. my present
position Is somewhat like that of the
jnckdaw in the dovccot-my coat OF
white has disappeared and am re-
vealed in all my blackness."
The polished courticr begged him 10
feel no annoyance over the turn OF
events. assuring him that his esteem
for him was In nowlse affected, and
begging him to remain as his honorcd
guest. For the remainder OF the even
ing Mr. Van Buren, was the object of
paid to an American minister since
the foundation OF the republic.
William Henry Harrison inherited
from his jocosc father Jolly Governor
Harrison, OF Virginia. n capacity TO
extract amusemcnt from many a sit
uation that promised to end seriously.
After he had been Governor of the
Territory OF Indiana for twelve years.
he was accused publicly by a wealthy
old Scotchman AIMED Mcintosh OF har-
ing derrnudcd the Indians In the treaty
az Fort Wayne. The Governor sent
Tor his detractor and asked him II he
were prepared to substantiate his
charge in II court of law
THAT Gun do we'll enough. Cap
tain Harrison" declared Mcintosh
stoutly, but | wadna gao to the cS-
pcnse. mon"
IL have made up my mind TO sue YOU
Tor defamation OF character" con-
tinued the Governor, and / am sorry
that 1t will cost you considerable
sum. However, | shall devote the
money awarded me to some charita BILE
cause. am seeking viindication
only"
The Governor brought suit. won Il
complete vindica ton. and was award
ed $4,000 damages. half of which he
distributed among the orphan children
Of those who had been killed in bat
tie. aud he returned the other half
10 the amazed and chastencd Mcintosh.