davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

nj got At the figures the manufActur
ers get them nor.
II is then that ha realizes mort
strongly the advantage Of having
made purchase from some company
that sells the automobile lifted out.
And fitting out with all sorts Of CON
veniences, down to robe and foot rails.
Is the custom Of the largest makers
and those who charge great prices for
their automobiles. 1t Is their way OF
making up to their customers what
would otherwise be reduction II
price on the new models.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

Muggins Women are gradually
usurping the place Of men. heard
the Other dag OF y woman bill col
hector.
Buggins-Well. IL q woman 10 as sue
cessful in running down q bill as che
IL in running one up she should be 2
Observation-Disclosures Record.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

'Show me one Of these old robber
castles Of the Rhine" commanded the
tourist
'.Robber easiest" echoed the puzzled
guide Does the gentleman mean q
garage ?'-WashinstO Herald.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

81 knew you were married - soon
rs met you. Mr.. Wed"
''How so:"
"You wear that apprehensive look. :
Spokane S,pokesman-Review.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

az am an optimist." he said
II love the crowded cars.
And when fall and bump my head
like to see the stars"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

Tell mo not In mournful mumblso
Iobble skirts are here to stay.
Tor the maid each time she stumoles
Vows she'll throw the thing away.
Judge.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

Dyspeptic friends. do not deapair.
But daily watch the bill Of fare.
Success In life II but . fake
When founded on the stomach ache.
st. Paul Pioneer Press.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30
Hev. % leek pisssart.

Hovs 20 leek Pleasant.
BY her gracious and cordial manner
the wife Of western sepator has long
charmed those 10 fortunate n % At.
tend her delightful '.functions.s
On one such occasion Close friend
was abiding 70 tho hostess graceful
method Of making every one feel q
home. How on earth do ron manage
to do it?' the friend asked.
"Oh. It's easy enough replied the
woman with the engaging manner
As each guest approaches 70 shake
hands just pretend TO myself that
the person ! am going to speak 70 Il
some one Mke"-Chicago Record,
Herald.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30
! lie Took the ELAINE.

THE guilty man always gives hims
self away" said detective. for. Ike
the chap who bought tho forty-cent
bathing suit. be can't hide his guilty
conscience. The chap hare In mind
entered the wafer at Atlantic City In
a forty-cent suit Of blue 0annea. A. be
splashed about he was Joined BY girl
friend. The Giri dashed her bright
eyes over the tun,bling expanse Of sea
and then with . Sigh OF delight sha
said:
isn't the water blue today!
".It's shameful said the man. with
4 hot blush; It's perfectly shameful
how this cheap bathing dannel runsr
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

u Net Possible.
s'DO theeo goo0 parting scene IN that
blayr
/ 40: ~ hoeS balas-0DcAang&
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30
A WiIISui Misundsrsta ndins.


Pitt was induced by Sir John Sin
clair to constitute a board Of agricul.
ture toward the end Of the eighteenth
century and make him the president.
Having enjoyed his ONCE for q few
years. Sinclair began to desire promo.
ton In the social scale. Dear Mr..
Pitt" he wrote to the prime minister,
''don't you think the president OF the
board Of agriculture should be peer?''
Dear Sir John Sinclair" replied
Pin. Il entirely agree with. you. ]
have therefore appointed Lord Somee.
vile to succeed you as president Of the
board Of agriculture"
Sir John Sinclair went about wiring.
lng bis hands and exclaiming: Dear
me. dear me! It was such willful
Observation-Disclosures
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

Nathaniel Parker Willis. the poet
and author. was also . bit Of q wit.
Once at q dinner In Washington Willis
and . young girl were talking with
great animation. The young girls
aunt. seated beside . Mr.. Campbell.
passed down to her niece Q note tina:
said. stop drifting with Nat willis"
Willis on reading the note sent II
let scribbled on the reverse side:
Dear aunt don't attempt my young feel
in0D TO trammel
Campholl
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

AZ the last moment Mr.. Gayley
found he could not attend the garden
party at Miss Fenton's house. and It
was. OF course. imperative that he
should send his regrets. NO he sum.
moned Michael. the family gardener.
Tell Miss BESSIE that l am very
sorry. but business will prevent ma
coming" he said.
ayes. sir" said Michael.
"And-stay q moment" said Gayley.
'Couid you remember . line Of
postryy"
Certainly. SORT"
"Well. tell her. Though lost to sight.
% memory DEAR"
Half an hour later Michael was de-
liveeing his message to Miss Fenton.
The master said it's sorry be II he
can't Be wild ye." said Michael. 'and-
and. though he's lost his sight. his
memory's clear. And may I be for
given for the untruth I'm tellin' ye"!
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-30

Driving a car at night is something
most motorists don't like II they are
handling the machine on an unfamil-
lar road. And. most any driver makes
two mistakes when he has to send his
auto along in the dark, says an arti-
Gle in Motor Print.
watch the average driver when
any delay makes 1t obvious that he
cannot hope to reach his destination
without an hour or two of lamplight.
Az the shadows lengthen he keeps
pressing the car on urgently and ner-
vously. inspired by the fallacy that 1t
10 easier and pleasanter to drive by
twilight than in the dark by acetylenc
to help him.
"As matter OF fact the half hour or
hour between lights Is easily the
worst time in the twenty-four hours
for seeing. II the lamps are not lit
there is insufficient ligth; IL they are
lit the fading daylight is just strong
enough to spoil the clear contrast be-
tween the glare Of acetylene and the
object Il throws into shadow.
LAS consequence this half hour or
hour beween lights is always an an
xious time and may include two or
three narrow squeaks. dangers avoid.
ed and mistakes corrected at the last
possible instant. These have their eff.
feet on the drivers mentality. They
string up any nerves in his constitu.
ton, and by the time thick darkness
has fallen and his powerful lamps
can help him to see as far as Is posi-
BILE he IL already utterly demoralized.
IF he has to keep on driving for
several hours his nerves will recover.
as he finds driving easier in the deep
er darkness of absolute night; but
this Is just the experience which the
timorous night driver seldom enjoys,
for he is generally home by an hour or
50 after lighting up time and lacks
prolonged experience of driving in
the black
ANY man with an objection to
night driving should arrange to stop
and dine, prepare his lamps, smoke;
anything to waste little time during
this awkward half hour between
lights. He will find nothing to terri
fy him when he takes the road again
as soon as darkness has really fallen
"A second error common among less
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Senator John Calhoun is invited to be-
come secretary of state in Tyler's cab
and Oregon must be added to the Union
He sends his secretary, Nicholas Trist, to
British ambassador. Pakenham. to call at
his apartments While searching for the
baroness home. carriage drives up and
Nicholas is invited to enter The occupant
is the baroness, and she asks Nicholas to
assist in evading pursuers. Nicholas notes
that~the baroness has lost a slipper She
gives him the remaining slipper a
pledge that she will tell Calhoun what he
wants to know regarding England's in
Nicholas gives her trinket he intended
for his sweetheart. Elizabeth Churchill
orders Nicholas to Montreal on state
business, and the latter plans to be mar
drunken Congressman whom Nicholas
asks to assist in the wedding arrange
Elizabeth. by mist stake, and the wedding
Is declared off. Nicholas finds the baron
him that the slipper he had in his pos
of Texas to the British ambassador, say
ing that If the United States did not
Both TeSas ana e iehoa meets
a naturalist, Won Rittenhofen, who gives
him information about Oregon The
baroness and a British warship disappear
from Montreal simultaneously Calhoun
orders Nicholas to head a party of set
tiers bound for Oregon. Calhoun excites
by secures the signature of the Texas at
tache to treaty of annexation. Nicholas
the British party. A British warship
rives with the baroness as a passenger.
in the slipper which caused the breaking
off of his marriage, and that she intends
to return to Washington to repair the
damage she has done Nicholas decides to
follow her.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08
CHAPTER XXI.
The Payment.


What man seeks in love IS woman;
what woman seeks in man Is love-
Houssaye-
When / reached Washington it was
indeed spring, warm, sweet spring In
the wide avenue the struggling trees
were doing their best to dignity the
city, and flowers were blooming every
where Wonderful enough did all this
seem to me after thousands of miles
of rude scenery of bare valleys and
rocky hills. wild landscapes, seen oft
en- through cold and binding storms
amid peaks and gorges, or ON the
drear. forbidding plains
Used more. of late, to these wilder
scenes, felt awkward and still half
savage 1 did not at once seek out
my own friends My first wish was
to get in touch with Mr.. Calhoun, for
1 knew that SO I would most quickly
arrive at the heart of events
He was away when / called at his
residence on Georgetown Heights, but
at last / heard the wheels of his old
omnibus. and presently he entered
with his usual companion Dr. Sam
ual Ward When they saw me there,
then indeed / received greeting
which repaid me for many things!
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

year Our own party, although over
the Rockies. had yet the plains to
cross l was glad enough when we
staggered into old Fort Laramie in
the midst of binding snowstorm
Winter had caught us fair and full.
had lost the racei
Here, then, 1 must winter. Yet /
learned that Joe Meek had QUILTED
at Laramie almost a month earlier
with new animals; had bought little
grain, and. under escort of a cavalry
troop which had come west with the
wagon train, had started east in time,
perhaps. to make 1t through to the
Missouri. In a raae of 1000 miles, the
baroness had already beaten me al
most by a month"; Further word was,
OF course, now upobtainable, for no
trains or wagons would come west
so late, and there were then no stages
carrying mail across the great plains.
There was nothing for me to do ex-
cept to wait and eat out my heart at
old Fort Laramie, In the society of In
dams and trappers, half-breeds and
traders. The winter seemed years in
length, so gladly I make its story
brief.
1t was now the spring of 1876, and
was in my second year away from
Washington. Glad enough was when
in the first sunshine of spring
started east, taking my chances of
getting over the plains. At last, to
make the long journey also brief,
did reach Fort Leavenworth, by this
time five months loser in the trans
continental race.
As to the baroness, she had long
since left Fort Leavenworth for the
east I followed still with what speed
l could employ. I could not reach
Washington now until long after the
first buds would be out and the creep
ers growing green on the gallery of
Mr. Calhoun's residence. Yes, green
also on all the lattices of Elmhurst
mansion What had happened there
for me?
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08
KEEP RESINOl ONT
MENT IN THE HOUSE
And Keep It Where You Can Pue
Your Hand on 1t at Moments
Notice.

The prompt application of Resinol
ointment to burns or sca1ds win not
only soothe and heal but prevent the
formation of disfguring scars. Resi-
mol ointment is the greatest OF all
emergency remedies for home use.
It is the best dressing for cuts.
wounds and abrasions of the skin OF
any kind. 1t is a specific for various
forms of eruptive skin diseases. &c
zema, letter, herpes, erythema, ring
worm, BARRIERS itch, erysipelas. poison
Ivy, stings of insects. etc. Resinol
stops itching instantly. and is the In
Dictated remedy for itching piles
Resinol ointment contains no harm
full, poisonous OF irritating Ingredient.
Resinol soap is healing as well as .
cleansing compound, and should be
used when necessary In conjunction
with Resinol ointment. Resinol
comes in opal Jars at fifty cents and
one dollar. At all druggists. Resinol
Chemical Co., Baltimore, Md.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08
WILLING to- Tell It.

The check which the comely young
German handed in at the window OF
Walnut street savings fund bank the
other day was made payable to Crotch
en- Schmidt, and she had endorsed II
simply Gretchen Smith. The man at
the receiving teller's window called her
back Just as she was turning away to
rectify the mistake.
You don't deposit this quite this
way" he explained. "See, you have
forgotten the h.
The young woman looked at her
check and blushed a rosy red.
'Ach, so / haf," she murmured, and
wrote hurriedly:
age 23"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08
Zine Growth Of Potatoes.

A remarkable potato has attracted
some attention at Annbank, in Ayr
shire, Scotland. Amongst some rose
bushes which Mr.. Moran, the station
master, got from France, one potato
plant appeared, which he allowed to
come to maturity When 1t was dug
in the autumn OF last year 1t was
found that there were at the root 48
potatoes which weighed fully IA
pounds The potato is of fine quality.
with shallow eyes and a beautiful
skin
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08
A. He understood II.

Jason Judy Ceiling of his trip to
New York)-An' another fnterestin'
sight wuz them there curb brokers
doin' business.
Hiram Whiff1eHSeems to me 1 once
heerd tell NV them feIlers-what do
they dor
Jason Juby-Why, they buy all the
seats in the stock exchange and then
sell 'em again to suckers at dollar
er two higher price.-ulustrated Sun
day Magazine
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

This over, we all three broke out in
laughter at my uncouth appearance.
was clad still in such clothing as I
could pick up in western towns as /
hurried on from the Missouri east
ward; and had as yet found no time
for BARRIERS
I'VE have had no word from YOU
Nicholas" said Mr.. Calhoun presently,
since that from Laramie, in the fall
of eighteen forty-four. This is in the
spring of eighteen forty-six! Mean
time, we might all have been dead
and buried and none of us the wiser
What a country IT'S more enormous
than the mind of any of us can grasp"
You should travel across it to learn
that" I grinned.
Many things have happened since
you left You know that 1 am back
| in the senate once more?"
nodded. And about Texas ?" L
began
Texas is ours" said he, smiling
grimly. You have heard how? It
was hard fight enough-a bitter, sell
fish, sectional fight among politicians.
But there is going to be war. Our
troops crossed the Sabine more than
year ago. They will cross the Rio
Grande before this year is done. The
Mexican minister has asked for his
passports. The administration he
ordered Gen. Taylor to advance Mr.
Polk Is carrying out annexation with
vengeance Seeing a chance for more
territory, now that Texas is safe from
England, he plans war on helpless
and deserted Mexico! We may hear
of a battle now at any time. But the
with England. That, of course, en-
of that great Oregon country. Tell
me, what have you learned?'
hurried on now with my own news.
briefly as I might told them of the
ships of England's navy waiting in
Oregon waters; of the growing suspi-
eion of the Hudson bay people; of the
changes in the management at Fort
Vancouver; of the change also from a
concfliatory policy to one of half hos
tilfty. l told them of our wagon
trains going west, and of the strength
of our frontiersmen; but offset this,
justly as l might, by giving facts also
regarding the opposition these might
meet
Precisely" said Calhoun, walking
up and down, his head bent Eng
land is preparing for warl How
much are we prepared 1t would cost
us the revenues of a quarter of CEN
fury to go to war with her to-day 1t
would cost us $4,000 lives. We would
need an army of 100000 men, Where
is all that to come from? Can we
transport our army there in time?
But had all this buster ceased, then
we could have deferred this war with
Mexico; could have bought with coin
what now viii cost us blood; and
We could also have bought Oregon
without the cost of either coin or
blood Delay was what we needed
All of Oregon should have been ours."
But. surely, this is not all news to
your / began Have you not seen
the Baroness Won Ritz Has she not
made her report %
The baroness?" Queried Calhoun
That stormy petrelEthat advance
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08
QISTEMPER

In all its forms among all ages of horses
as well dogs, cured and others in same
stable prevented from having the disease
with SPOHNS DISTEMPER CURE.
Every bottle guaranteed. Over 600 900
bottles sold last year $50 and $780, Any
good druggist, or send to manufacturers.
Agents wanted. Spohn Medical Co., Spec
Contaglous Diseases, Goshen. Ind.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

There has been introduced in the
New Hampshire legislature a measure
providing that people who eavesdrop
by means of the telephone may be
fined Some people win be unable tc
understand why anyone should have
. telephone in the house If 1t Is no
20 be permissible to listen EhIia osi
ers are talking
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

A Baltimore paper publishes an ar.
dcle half a page long about an actress
because she is able to make a good
salad dressing Yet the London Times
ENORMOUSLY asserts that some Amer
fcan newspapers are given up to triv-
falities
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

That Ohio Judge who ruled that
wife may annex a husbands cash
without his knowledge or consent evil
IDENTIFY has no desire to lead the bach
elors away from their race suicide
tendencies.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Ex-President Eliot of Harvard
thinks six or eight children are the
proper number for the average fam
fiy. Does DIR. Eliot forget that chill
dren of the present day do not wear
Ncopper-toed shoes?
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Automobiles are becoming so com,
mon that our social leaders are think
ing of adopting the aeroplane When
the aeroplane has become common
probably they will adopt submarines
After that, the Lord only knows
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Travel to Europe this year will be
heavier than ever before. Also the
passing through the custom house,
when the autumn leaves begin to fall.
will be done much more carefully than
IN the past.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08
Dark paya COMING.

Say, Jim, here's a preacher in New
York who says men should sew, cook,
wash the dishes and get their own
breakfast
Whats the use of rubbing it in?
Guess we all know Wen have to pref
ty SOON"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Three men in New Jersey, disguised
in hobble skirts. caught a highwayman
who had been terrorizing women, res
idents of the section. This is another
good word spoken for the much-crit-
fcised garment.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Professor Salisbury of@the Univer-
sity of Chicago, of course, says the
world is still growing bigger and some
day will be twice its present size. 1t
will need to If Chicagos dreams of fu.
ture greatness are realized.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

The most polite man on record hid
the fact until his death. He was
New York man, who apologized in his
will to his wife for not leaving her
more money.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08
Before a Shop Window.

Billy-Buy me that little rocking
horse, papa.
Dad-H you are a good boy. you
shall have it next Christmas
Billy-No! Buy it now. 1 may have
a new papa before next Christmas.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Out in Washington a woman jury
fined man for swearing. Well, what
Is a man going to do when he swings
shovelful of coal and misses the
furnace door?
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

"A man who allows his wife to have
her own way" says a Boston profess
sor, SIS a philosopher and a dfplo-
mat" We might add that he is doing
the only thing it is possible for him to
do.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Inventor Johnson, who discovered
Portland cement, is still alive and
hearty at the age of 100. Maybe in
venting is more conductive to longev-
ity than F1etcherizing after all
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

can train American heiresses when
caught young
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

A New York dentist was lately Sent
20 Sing Sing for forgery He evident
ly lost his pull"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Wilkesbarre Alderman has decid-
ed that face paint is a necessity and
not a cause for divorce. Since when
have Aldermen been given jurisdic-
ton in divorce cases in Wilkesbarre?
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

The per capita circulation has
reached the sum of S34.43, but good
many people retire at the end of the
week with less than 43 cents each to
the good
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

The car of Russia has ordered an
opera to commemorate the deeds of
his ancestors. Possibly the music
will be interspersed with bomb explo-
sions.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Cleveland man is suing for a di-
vorce because his wife has hardly
spoken to him in years. Some men
do not appreciate their blessings.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

A learned professor has discovered
that men prefer blond women. But
he needn't expect husbands with bru-
nette wives to help him prove it to
the public.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Telephone girls IN Denver marry In
1S months. In New York the av-
erage is % months. Go west, young
womani
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Wellesley girls are to be taught the
art of raising onions We should
think the art of eating them would
be more important.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Massachusetts proposes imposing
tax on all bachelors of good standing
and correct moral habits. How many
will 1T reach?
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Harvard is after $1,000. 0O0.'' Many
OF us would like to do the same thing,
but what's the use?
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

He Was a Judge.
Geraldine am just twenty-five.
Gerald-Verdict set aside.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-04-08

Six Haitien generals have been ex-
ecuted- But there are others.