davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
No Blame for That.

Mrs. Raifuss Grossly, when she
learns her husband has purchased an
expensive pipe)-Oh, Henry. do wish
you wouldn't be SO foolishly extrava-
CANT; you are throwing away money
all the tiRe.
Mr.. Raifuss (irritably)-For good
ness sake. Mary, try to be consistent.
You found no fault with me year
ago when l gave Mr.. Joiner SIS for
marrying US. !.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
His Rendition.

SHAY, Bill" said the man who was
clinging to the lamp post. "washin't
Longfel a great poet?"
"Betcherlife, oil man." answered the
man who was clinging to the man who
was clinging to the lamp post.
Should shay sho," went on the
first speaker. Look at silky. Every
in y life shee shuch booful illushtra
shun of his linesh bout TIL mon rows
over tn city?'"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
Too EraiI.

well, 1t does seem kind NV queer"
remarked Mrs. Hayrix as she laid
down the village paper.
Whats queer, mother?" asked
Uncle Hiram as he amputated hunk
of tobacco from fresh plug.
"Why, erbout them balloon fellers,
replied the old lady. 9TH papers are
alters tellin' erbout some NV 'em
breakin' tn records. Why don't they
make tn records stronger"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03

the donkeys. on which children were
getting penny rides, the old women
selling curious shells, the hucksters
peddling early pears, gingerbread and
other edibles. the peep-show men,
every one, in short. was fastening in
the other direction.
The tide was coming in.
Not wishing to be caught in the
rapid waves that chased each other up
the beach, turned also and followed
the multitude townwards; for saw
that the high-water line clearly de-
fined on the sea wall by a dark heavy
growth Of seaweed. was decidedly
above my head.
When reached the place where the
seal was exhibiting, found the throng
all gone, and the man standing alone
by his cart, with the tired creature
clinging to his breast. its paws rest
ing on his neck, just like kitten OF
a little child, while the man gently
stroked down its wet, glistening back
with his hand.
| stood a moment, much interested
looking at the pair.
"He seems to know you" said l.
"Oh, he knows me-" said the man
with the ring of affectionate convic
ton in his voice. "He knows me, ant
loves me dearly and understand
every word | say to him"
And his hand, with a yet tendere
touch, pressed still closer to his oil
faded red waistcoat the wet. drippinI
form Of his humble friend.
1t was clear case of mutual attach
ment.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
Rubbing II In.

What Is the matter with old Rig.
gets?" asked the head bookkeeper.
Ever since the first Of the year he
has been SO cross no one could speak
to him"
II understand" said the cashier,
"that when the dealers sent In the
bills for his Christmas goods they
also sent announcements of the com.
Ing advance displays of spring bon
nets and dresses"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
The Latest in Bluffs.

Drug Clerk Perfumery? Yes,
maam How would you like our Bou-
quet de Gasoline, which will give
everyone the impression that you own
an automobile?
Customer-Oh, that's an old one.
Haven't you any cologne that smells
like an airship
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
A Names Deceit.

Don't talk to me about what is
In a name"
why not?"
Il employed, on the urgent request
of an interested friend, three broth
ers named Gum. From one l could
never get report, another was
promptly fired and the third kicked
because objected to his being
loaded"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
A Prudent PROGRAM,

ri make 1t rule never to lend any
body an umbrella" said Mr.. GrowcA-
er.
Good idea," replied Mr.. Grump.
TT you keep lending an umbrella
about there's no telling when 1t may
drift into the hands Of the original
owner"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
Too Academic.

Shopkeeper-Want situation as err
rand boy, do you? Well, can you tell
me how far the moon is from the
earth, Ell?
Boy--Well, guv'nor, l don't know,
but reckon 1t amt near enough to
interfere with me running errands.
He got the job.-Tit-B
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
What Caused It.

Eyes, doctor" said the perturbed
mother, "she has just worried SO
much over the approach of graduation
day that she became positively ILL.,
"Tut, tut" said the doctor. "She
shouldn't worry SO much about sim
Pile little thing like commencement
essay"
"Essay!" exclaimed the patient. "It
Isn't the essay. It's the dress!"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
A Natural Mistake.

Say, why didn't you stop that
.hief?' painted the fat policeman. as
he came up to man who was calmly
viewing the race from door-sill.
Great Scott!" exclaimed the spec
Iator. WAS that a real thief? /
hought you and he were employed
by a moving picture company"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
Freed From Fear.

well, we are going to have the
tariff discussion all over again"
Il don't care. I've sold the seven
shares of stock had in a wooden
mill, and am confident that the nation
will endure even If the tariff on wool
en- goods is reduced 20 per cent. ad
valorem."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
Just What He Would Like.

Hobo-Please gimme nickel,
ma'am?
Kind Lady-Didn't see you coming
out of a saloon a moment ago?
Hobo-I guess mebby you did.
ma'am.
Kind Lady-Well, l wonder you are
not ashamed to own 1t.
Hobo-I don't own it, ma'am. only
wish I did.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
Fittinq.

did your nephew make a suitable
marriage?"
Eyes, replied the man who habitu-
ally thinks along erratic lines. "He
has curly blond hair, and has never
done anything more herculeaa than
to pick flaws on guitar. and-weil
he married female baseball playen-
Puck
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
Behind the Scenes.

who is that skinny man with the
pleasant smile?" asked the visitor OF
the stage manager.
"That? o, that's Murgatroyd Dew
hoop, the heavy villain"
"And the big fat fellow with the bit
ter scowl on his face
"Over there by the bunch OF light!
That's Billy Skivvers, the light come
diam"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
puttlno an Eide on Apprec

Putting an Edge on Appreciation.
IF your wife is such terribly good
cook why don't you eat more dinners
at homer"
Gee, how would know how good
she could cook If l didn't eat some
where else?
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
Buzzlnu About.

81 wonder what the bees talk aboutf-
said WILLIE
"They don't talk, they buzz said
John.
Then what do they buzz aboutf"
said Willie.
About all the time" chuckled John
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03

Jack-The KY railroad is offering
liberal inducements to brides and
grooms.
Harry-What are they?
Jack-If they buy ticket to Mag
ara in six months time they'll sell 'em
tickets to Dakota at half rates.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
At the Dinner.

"Beastly function. isn't it,"
Eyes"
"Our hostess is the limit. isn't shsi
do you know herr"
eyes. She's my wife,"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03

Noting the appeal for a new national
anthem, or song. which shall more per-
fectly express our patriotic sentiments
and be in more complete accord with pub
lie taste in music and lyric, we APP
preached Mr.. lynne Paner, author OF
Nothing But Love for Nine" 60 Jump
in the Lake" 81 Thought You Was
Honey Bee, But I Got Stung,' and many
other popular songs which will be found
on the piano wherever you go. Mr.. lynne
Paner, when the emergency was ex-
planned to him, said that nothing could
be easier. In fifteen minutes he had COM
pleted the words and music. We cannot
reproduce the music. but 1t may be ap-
proximated by syncopating "Auld Lang
Syne" and adding here and there bar
of Yankee Doodle" Dixie" Marching
Through Georgia" and Pop Goes the
Weasel" At our suggestion that the Ian
guage of the lyric is rather lacking in
dignity, Mr.. Paner replied: who wants
dignity? Put dignity In lyric an you
won't sell forty copies. You got to get
next to the people, kid" Mr. Paner has
entitled the song, "Oh, You Lib" Lib"
1t may be explained Is a colloquial con-
traction OF "Liberty.o
There's gal that is our pal
Wherever we may roam.
In any land, you understand.
We never are alone.
Our fathers fought and died for her
And noble Washington
Slept in the snow at Valley Forge
Beside his sword and gun.
CHORUS:
Oh. you Lib! You are sure the candy
kid.
First for us and first for peace and first
in war
Yankee Doodle comes to town with Rah!
Rah! Rah!
Oh, you Lib, you are the candy kid we
all die for.
| Us gallant men would fight again
Upon the land or seas,
| We'd hold the fort with gun and sword
| And be armed to our teeth.
| From lakes to gulf, from Portland. Maine.
! To Portland. Oregon,
| Our hearts are true, dear Lib, to you
| You bet that amt no con.
CHORUS:
| Oh, you Lib! You are sure the candy
| kid.
First for us and first for peace and frs
in war.
Way down south in Dixie land with Rah
Rah! Rah!
| Oh, you Lib. you are the kid we'd all die
for.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
One Way or tho Other.

''If you would make success Of
office-holding," says the first pol.ti-
clan. you must keep your finger on
the public pulse"
EYES," agreed the second, "or else
keep 1t in the public purse"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
A SURE Cure.

Doctor, have for years been ad-
iicted to walking in my sleep. Is
there any cure for met"
Yes, Adopt baby"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
BAcK-REsT IS COMFORTABLE
Ingenious Novelty Displayed at Recent
Automobile Show Given in Lon
don, England.

An ingenious back-rest for motor
cyclists is fastened to the handlebars
or steering column of the machine.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
The Cat Family.

Kindergarten Teacher-Children
can you tell me what animals be-
long to the cat family?
Charlie Peterson-Tigers. lions and
mice.
Teacher-Oh, no, Charlie, not mice.
Charlie-Yes, ma'am; they do-they
do when our cat and kittens get them.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
The ResuIt.

did you take Joy ride In your
new automobile?"
"Yes-to my sorrow."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03
TO BE SEEN THROUGH.

"Give me an example of trans
parent object"
"A keynote
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03

Bookkeeper-Lend me your knife.
Stenographer-What do you want
with 1t?
Bookkeeper-I want to sharpen one
of these self-sharpening pencils.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-03

The Dog and the Cat.
~T1l bet my dog can lick your cat
Said Naughty Tommy Lee.
And when the dog licked pussy's face.
II told you so,' said he.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-18

WASHINGTON, July 11.--A. f.
Burguieres. president of the Louis
lana Sugar Planters Association. tn.
day told the House committee inves-
tignting the sugar trust that the trust
had attempted TO tell the House that
nothing except standard graduated
sugar was wholesome. Mr.. Burguieres
showed the committee a sample or
unredned Louisiana cane sugar. al
most white in color. which he said
was 80 per cent pure, The, witness
was asked why the Louisiana planters
did not market their own product.
instead Of selling It to the Amert :
can Sugar Refining Company. He re-
piled that the planters did not have
the money to do their own refining
and marketing.
He told the committee that inland
waterways Will be given mere CON
sideration hereafter by the sugar in
terests. At present. he said. the
planters cannot get water freight
rates as cheap rs railroad rates To
points whore sugar must be delivered.
Several other Louisiana planters
were xamihed. but their testimony
was largely technical.
1t was announced that the commit
tee VIII transfer Its hearings 10 New
York city, where 1t Will meet to-
morrow. John Arbuckle, J. f. Par
sons and Washington r. Thomas will
he among the witnesses examined In
New York.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-18
SAYS THEY ARE
COMING HIS WAY
JONES TELLS HARRISONBCRG
FOLK OF JOURNALISTIC
'.s'''.'' ACCESSIONS. '9' 's's

Especial to The Richmond Virgin,an.
HARRISONBURG, VA, July IL
Hon. W. A. Jones spoke two hours
and q half this afternoon TO an au-
diencc OF several hundred In the
courthouse. Both Democratic fac
lions held aloof during the morning,
ana Mr.. Jones for a time thought
he would have to introduce him-
self. Finally. II. NJ strickfsr, a young
attorney, eHsayed the task.
In his speech. Jones scored the
machine papers for withholding his
Apeeches. reviewed Martins tariff
and corporation record in the sem
ate and read again the famous let
ters. He announced that he came
by the letters honestly. and that
they were sent TO him since he an
nouncsd his candidacy. He never
heard OF them or dreamed that such
letters were in existence. until some
body voluntarily gave them to him In
recent months.
He mentioned the News Leader as
- formerly hostile paper that had
modified IT. vtsw in the last forty
eight hours. He mentioned the New
port News Press and Norfolk Vir-
7tsatinu11 % Third PagA1
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-18
ALvAH MARTIN IS
SCORED As BOSS
Norfolk County Democrats
Adopt Resolutions on
Recent Primary
APPEAL DIRECT TO
STATE COMMITTEE
Ask That County Committee
be Not Allowed to Sit on
Case in Which it is
Interested

Especial to The Richmond Virginian.)
NORFOLK, VA, July 17.--Nearly
one thousand Norfolk county Demo-
Gratis, In great enthusiastic mass
meeting to night at the CRANKY The
atre, adopted ringing resolutions cali
Ing upon tho Democratic State Cen
trial Committee to take over the prl-
mary contest. which. the straightouts
charge, reeked with Irregularities Fl
w. West presided. Maurice G. Long
G. W. Coleman. A. Il. Carney. George
c. Cahell and +. A, Bilsoly made
speeches.
The keynote OF the speeches was
that National Republican Committee
man AiSah II. Martin, the alleged Re-
puglican Fusion boss. dominated the
Democratic party machinery In the
county AS completely as he does the
Republican party, and that the coun-
" committee IL interested in the con-
test and therefor unfit 10 pass iudg-
ment upon 1t.
The Resolutions
The resolutions In part says. THAT
the Democrats OF Norfolk county In
mass meeting assembled respectfully
hut earnestly request the Dem ocrade
State Central Commute to take up
and decide, az early as as possible, the
contest involving the nominations for
Inc county and district Offices OF Nor
folk county. in order that II may be
settled once for all and beyond fur
Their controversy that the highest at
thority Of the Democratic party IN
the State Will not recognize fusionism /;
that no partisan and biased tribunal
claiming 10 be Democratic, shall sit
in Judgment on it's own case: that
Democratic honor viii not counte-
nance nor permit straw candidates
nor sham primaries; and the Demo
cratic organization in no part Of this
State shall be forced nor permitted
to be under the control of Repub-
iican boss"
Not Against Martin and swanson
c. w. Coleman, who was, accord
ing to county committee returns. de-
feated by w. l.. Wilson for the
nomination for clerk of the court
A b. Carney. defeated candidate for
Commonwealth attorney: George G.
Cabell. one OF counsel in the Straight :
out contest Of six years ago. and +.
A Bilisoiy also spoke. The fusion
lists ara attempting to create the i'm
preston all over the State that this
movement. Is directed against Sena-
tors Martin and swanson" said Mr..
Carney Il deny this There are
among the earnest supporters OF our
cause great many loyal friends OF
both Virginia Senators
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-18
FROM JAIL TO
CITY HOSPITAL
THERE BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL
DIES OF PNEUMONIA AFTER
SHORT ILLNESS
BODY FOR DISSECTION
FAMILY NOTIFIED BY POLICE. but
REFUSE TO SEND FOR IT
BROTHER NOW MAKES
SEARCH.
BODY FOR DISSECTION

Whatever mystery may have been
attached to the disposition of the
body of Ola Thaxton, a pretty North
Carolina girl who died at the City
Home on March so. was cleared last
night as a result of an unofficial IN
vestigation instituted by her brother,
Lee Thaxton. who arrived here yes
terday from his home in Raleigh to
learn whethed his sisters body is
buried in potter's field or whether 1t
was dtsseeted by medical students.
AS result of his inquiries in Rich
mond Lee Thaxton has gained noto-
riety which he and members of his
family may have cause 10 regret. II
became known last night that Miss
ThaNton was removed to the City
Home on March 26 from the city jail,
where she had been sent to serve a
sentence of ninety days following her
arrest by policeman attached to the
First Station. The young woman was
charged with vagrancy,
That John Thaxton, father of Ola
Thaxton, refused TO bear the expenses
of a proper burial for his daughter,
is shown by official records on file
at police headquarters. When Miss
Thaxton died of pneumonia at the
City Home the police We're requested
70 u9bftA fact IEbAtkfcS ia .GaiGiRD.
Father Refuses Body.
Difficulty was experienced in locat-
Ing the young womnn's relatives, hu.
on March 80 Chief Of Police Werner
sent the following telegram to Chief
of Police J. p. Stell. of Raleigh
i Ola Thaxton, white Is dead here
Her father, John Thaxton. lives I'm
your city. See him and advise us as
10 disposition OF remains"
AT O'Clock on tbs afternoon OF
March 80 Major Werner received the
following telegram from Chief OF Po-
lice sten:
a., John Thexton says he WILL send
for body OF Ola Thaxton."
Four hours later Major Werner re-
ceived second reply, which read:
John Thaxton declines TO send for
remains of Ola Thexton."
Funeral Director Bliley, TO WHOM,
the body had been given by the City
Home authorities. was notified by Po-
lice Clerk Toler that relatives of Ola
Thaxtor did not care TO arrange for
fsar' surfsi. f'tfgs undertaken then TOOK
the matter in his own hands and his
subsequent actions arc described In
the following statement made last
night,
Given to Anatomical Board.
II learned the address OF Lee
Thaxton from a friend OF Miss Thax-
ton and wrote To the brother, asking
what disposition should be made OF
the remains. In his reply ha asked
what was our cheapest burial rate,
supplied him with the minimum
cost of burial. but received no reply.
| held the body several weeks, and
then wrote the brother again. advis-
ing him that unless he arranged for
burial the body would be delivered TO
the anatomical board.
He replied to this communication.
and said. Please don't send my SIS
CONTINUED on sixth PagAl
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-18
POLISHED WAYS
ARE DANGEROUS

NEW YORK, july REIMBURSEMENT
from the United States with tha
alternative OF fVe years in Sing Sing
was the sentence melted aut To-day
by Judge Dixie in the county court
in Brooklyn to Lieutenant. Kari Won
Nets Meyer, son OF Chuistiana
banke rand former kings guardsman,
who confessed to burglarixing a score
of fashionable houses in the fash
ionable Columbia Heights section OF
Brooklyn, Meyer chose to leave the
country and will sail this week for
Norway,
In pfonauncing sentence Judge
Dixie told the prisoner his polished
ways were dangerous to the COM
munity and the public should not he
burdened with his support In prison..
Letters found in Meyers room prov
ed that he came to this country to
marry an heiress, His conQuests cost
him several positions and no became
modern Rallies. operating In high
socia lcircies in = silk mask.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-18
NINE TON YAWL /. !.
ON W0RLO TRIP
NAvTGATORS EX-
PECT TO CONTRIBUTE TO
SCIENTIFIC WORLD.

NEW YORK. july IT.-After n
months rest. the sturdy little nine
ton yawi Pandora will sail for Eng
land tomorrow on the continuation
Of her globe circling voyage, which
commenced at Perth. Australia, thir-
teen months ago.
Captains John Blythe and r. Ara
kapls, the two adventurous naviga-
tors. are eager to leave for the open
sea again and more confident than
ever that their little cookie shell will
weather the worst gale the Atlantic
seas can offer,
Captain Arakapis says the trip. Is
being made for the love OF adventure
and for the coupling Of data that
viii be Of use to scientists and navi-
gators.
From England the Pandora viii
ba headed for the Mediterranean ana
a visit to Greece, ths home of Cap
tain Arakapis. then down to the Cape
Of Good Hope, where she will sail
back to Australia,
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-18
EARL OF YARMOUTH
is NOW BANKRUPT

LONDON. July 1.-THE Earl of
Yarmouth. the divorced husband OF
Alice Thaw. became a formal bank
rupt tomorrow when the receiver
takes possession OF Abheymead, the
earfs country estate. There have
been meetings OF Yarmouth's count
less creditors and bankruptcy was the
last resort. The earl will be dis
charged as a bankrupt when he sue
cectis to the Mnruuisats IF Hertford
on the death of his father, az tho
properties of the title amount to a
fair sum, but the old Earl OF Hert-
ford viii not advance a farthing to
Crevent his son being declared
bankrupt.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-18
BIC WITNESSES
ARE TO TESTIFY
Sugar Probe Moves TO New
York to Collect More
Evidence
CLAUS SPRECkELS TO
TAKE WITNESS STAND
Advocate of Free Trade in
Sugar to Tell About Trade
War Since He
Entered 1t

NEW YORK. July 17.-Headed by
Representative Hardwick, the mem
bers of the special committee OF the
House that are investigating the SUI
gar trust. arrived in New York to-
night from Washington to begin ex-
arninations OF many Of the biggest
sugar manufacturers In the country
who reside here. Representative For
ney was the only member OF COM
mittee who did not make the trip. The
congressional party went to the Hotel
Navarro.
1t is expected first witness to-rnor-
row Will be John Arbuckle. head ana
founder of the house that bears his
name. The committee would have
called Mr.. Arbuckie to the stand IN
Washington soon after the beginning
OF its inquiry, but for the poor con-
dition Of his health. II was reported
to- day that he would be sufficiently
strong to appear an a witness to-mor-
row and stand the ordeal of the close
examination to which ii is expected
he will be subjected,
AT. intervals for years the Arbuckles
have "aged war on the sugar trust.
and fer long periods they have pro-
ceeded to do business In their own
way under flag of truce j, is said
that the committee will make spe-
cjal efforts to elicit In fun detail the
terms Of these various traces.
SpreckeIs to Testify.
Claus Spreckels, president OF the
Federal Sugar Company, whose prin-
cipal plant Is located at Yonkers will.
II Is believed be the most import
ant witness examined In New York
Mr.. Speckeis' fight with the trust has
been going on ever since he began to
operate his refinery here Only re-
Gently he advocated absoiute free
trade IN sugar as the surest remedy
for the trust evil
II Is understood that he will be call
ed upon to tell fully the history of
the transaction BY va. =cn the sugar
trust acquired control several years
ago OF the Spreckels refineries IN
Philadelphia. which have been closed
nearly ever since they passed into
the hands Of the trust The govern
ment attacked this transaction soon
after its contamination, and out OF
that litigation grew the famous
knight decision, which has been such
comfort to trust lawyers ever since
II is also understood that Surveyor
Parr and other customs officials as
ISOLATED with him in running down
the huge sugar frauds will for the
first time tell publicly under oath all
they discovered while engaged in that
work