davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

h younger Dumas Is said to have thus
passed judgment on the efforts or =
would-be humorist.
OF this man some ono said to him :
Poor fellow he y always on q chass
after a joke"
And the joke always wlns.' Dumas f.
served. mildly.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03
Had His Doubts.

From the IhlcdBO Tribune.
''Come out west, old boy, and visit me on
my farm wrote the enthusiastic Kansas
man; breathe the fresh air. eat young
onions, and get close to natures heart.
s'That sounds a~lluring." wrote the faded
sasterner, "but do you think nature would
let me get close 70 her after eating youug
onlons?"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

and limbs were swollen AID urine
scant and distressing. After taking
Doctors treatments without relief, I
began with Doan's Kidney Pills. They
Strengthened me up in a hurry"
Remember the name--Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. so cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

the kidneys. Do so
with Doan's Kidney
Pills. ]. E. Dunlap,
Kennel, Mo-, says:
my condition was
terrible. / was in
bed for six weeks
and u not move
owing to intense pain
In my back. MY feet
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

Constipation causes and seriously agra
yates many diseases. 1t is thoroughly cured
BY DIR. Pierce's Pellets. Tiny sugar-coated
granules.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

Violet wish you would tell me
how to get this pitch OF my dress. !
have tried everything l can think Of.
Reginald-You might try a .
You always get cn tho pitch wlen
you sing.--Judge.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03
WEAK BACKS MADE STRONG.

Backaehe In most cases is kidney
ache, and usually accompanied by ir-
regularities of the urine. To remove
the pain and weakness, you must cure
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

some turn their backs on ordinary
principles to gaze at heavenly pros
poets.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03
Fathers Vocal Talent.

Eddy's Aunt Emma, who had been
travelling in Europe, was expected to
reach the house at midnight, and Ed
die begged to be allowed to stay up to
greet her. But his mother refused to
give consent. NO" she said, decid-
eddy, sit would be five long hours aft
er your bedtime, and you couldn't
possibly stay awake as long as that"
"Oh, yes, | cam" Eddie walled; Il
If papa will sing lnllah!es 10 me-.
-Woman's Home Companion.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

Natick, Mass,-1I cannot express what L
went through during the Change of Life before
LIZ tried Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegetable Conn
lpound. i was fn such a nervous condition Il
IcouId not keep still. My limbs were cold. L
had creepy sensations and could not sleep
/ was finally told by two physicians
i had a tumor.
"I read ono day Of the wonderful cures made
by Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
lard decided to try it, and 1t has made me a well
woman. MY ~neighbOrs and friends declare it
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

The main difference between a pro.
fessional man and a tradesman Is that
a great many times the tradesman can
buy and sell the professor.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

PILES CURED IN q TO IA DAYS
four druggist VIII refund money II PAX ONT
MMNT falls to cure any case OF itching, Blind
Eleedtng or ProtrudlngP Piles in 6to IA days. 500
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

Petriied creeds always have the
sharpest angles.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

One OF the worst things under the
sun Is a nhady reputation.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

Ferdinand-She Is all the world to
me! What would you advise me to
do?
William-See a little more of the
world, old chap!
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

Many who think they mean right
are right mean
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03
ANOTHER SIMILAR CASE.

CornwaIlviIIe, N. Y.-"I have been taking
Lydia f.. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for
some time for Change of Life, nervousness, and
q Gbroid growth.
1.-TWO doctors advised mo 90 go TO the
hospital, but one day while i was away visiting,
n met n woman who told mo tn kaAe I-a.S Z.
PfnKham's Vegetable Compound. did so and
know it helped me wonderfully. L am very
thankful that / was told to try Lydia IL,
-UsnEhamsa VeUefnhIa Mrs. w
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03
and herbs.

has worked O miracle Tor me. Lydia 4. PTnkhamS Vegetable
Compound Is worth its @e.ss. 1a Soid for women during this
period OF life. III it win help others you may publish this
letter..-Mrs. Nathan %. Creation, 81 No. Main ST., Natick, Mass.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

I want every chronic rheumatic to throw
away all medicines, all liniments, ali
plasters, and give MUNYON'S RHEUMA-
your doctor may say, no matter what
your friends may say, no matter how
prejudiced you may be against all adver-
gist and get a bottle OF the RHEUM1-
TISM REMEDY. IL Il fails to give salts
faction,I will refund your money.-Munyon
Remember this remedy contains no sal
icylic acid, no opium cocaine, morphine or
other harmful drugs. 1t is put up under
the guarantee OF the Pure Food and Drug
Act.
For sale by all druggists. Price. 25c.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03

CornwanyiIc, n. Y, Greene Go.
The makers Of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound have thousands of such letters as those above
they tell the truth, else they could not have been obtained
for love or money. This medicine is no stranger - it has
stood the test for years.
For so years Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegetable GSSS~SsA
Compound has been the standard remedy for NNxY@MM
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-02-03
This IN the Year.

Raise your hat to the Glad New Yeari
Raise your voice with a hopeful cheer!
Make q VOW hat while It stays
You'll make the most OF its glorious days
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1911-05-09
66H
BLACKBOARD THE CORSAIR.

Being an Account Of the Matrimonial
and FiFat&cal Exploits Of a No4ed
Navigator.
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1911-05-09
DON QUIXOTE AS
GREATEST FOOL
The Series of Stamps Issued by
Snanish Government as An
Official Mark

+ infrequently it happens
on the first day Of April
that a. man comes to
consider himself the
greatest fool that ever
lived simply because he
has bruised his toes on
q hat hidden brick, torn
off his finger ends on
a. nailed down coin or
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18

that the verses Illustrated, but in or
der that no one many be disappointed
this morning. the Gazette is repro
Gucing the verses that were used to
iiiucidate the chromos.
There is one addressed
The G~v-n-r-
Protector Once thus were you
hight,
But alas. poor unlucky executive
wight,
What once was a compliment a jest
has been
Since you hid, with your power, the
truant fifteen"
Another bore the address:
The S-cr-t-ry- of Site.
Wrong are you named, for clear as
day,
You should have been called another
way.
Fer whose has seen you your name
indite,
Well knows they should call you
Start Write"
Another decorated with pictures OF
epaulets and drums was for the
Adjt. Carl.
Hep! Hap, Here you come!
Martial in bearing! Tum-tiddi I'm!
What do you know of wars CORY art?
We know not nor care not, you lcok
the part"
There was another in plain linen
addressed in virile manly handwriting
to
The Pr-s-d-at of the S-n-t-.
Here's toast a toast of luck to
you!
III spite Of your awful political hue.
You do your work to no bosses plan,
And like you or hate you, you are a
mani"
With this was one to
Tn Sp--k-r Of the HIS.
Speaker and statesman, kindly and
true
Here's to you, Our hats are off to
you,
You're great to pilot with splendid
good nature.
The steps of that headstrong legis-
lature."
A small eny lope bearing picture
Ct a desert-peOple on it famishing-
and by its edge a picture of dead
man with a sardonic grin, on his
breast liable 'He tried it for political
effect but failed
1t was addressed to
Gr-nt HILL.
Requiem, Requiem. Toll the bell.
A sad, sad, story we have to'tell
or your iniquities, but--Hold, IT'S
said,
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18
GAME LAWS AND GAME WARDEN

In abolishing the Office Of Game
Warden and attempting to impose the
duties OF that office upon the sheriffs
and chief of police, the legislature
has taken one OF those foolish back
sTard steps that indicates how far 1t
is out OF touch with the spirit of the
times. Sheriffs of our counties are
theoretically peace officers, but how
many sheriffs are mere than mere tax
collectors and fee grabbers? AS a
matter of fact, the preservation OF the
peace and the enforcs ment of law by
county sheriffs has become purely
nominal; and except in especial emer-
gencies we rarely find sheriffs acting
in any other capacity than tax col
lectors. Wheth Ct not this should be
So, it Is So and every member of the
legislature knows that it is so. If We
are to have any game laws in West
Virginia, they should be enforced; and
the only way to enforce them is TO
provide an efficient officer whose busi-
ness will be to enforce them.
1t has been often said that we do
not lack law, but We do lack law en-
forcement. Too often that reproach
is justified, and it is justified because
simple minded legislatures pass laws
expecting the laws to enforce them
elves. Having made an enactment,
the Legislators 90 home and assume
that some one is going to make 1t his
business to enforce tho laws, entirely
regardless of the fact that they have
provided no machinery for enforce
ment In this section of West Vir-
ginia, except fer the interest which a
few sportsme1 take in the preserva-
ton of game, the game laws and their
enforcement mt are not matter of inn
portance, but to be consistent the leg
islature should abolish all game laws.
Depriving the State of means of en-
forcing any protective measures, 1t
might as we'll do away with the meas
ures thems lves.-Wheeiing Inteligen-
Ger.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18
MR.. HEARNE SEATED.

The Hearne case is settled aud the
senator from the first district will re-
main in the seat to which he was
elected by the people of the Wheeling
district
There must have been considerable
merit in his case or the democratic
members who were equal in number
with the publcals on the commit
tee would not have presented q faycr-
able and unanimous report
This settles on of the contvover-
sizes that has had so much TO co with
the trouble in getting the legislature
organized and down to work. 1t will
be gratifying to the people of the
state to know that the matter has
been settled whether it meets with
their individual favor or not
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18

It's evil to speak of the unsung dead
Another envelope with crescent and
star imprinted upon it bore in Turk
ish character, the following,
To the Image OF the ex-Sultan.
Always at intrigue and politics hint
ing,
Not overlooking the public printing,
Clever as Satan. able as h
In republican sharpshooting you've
rung the bell,
, But the people. the people will never
forget.
The soft money you got through the
old state debt"
A dainty well bred envelope is adj
dressed to
c. P. L.
"Roads, roads, where are the roads,
Missing the spur OF the verbal goads,
Applied by the officer, now bewailed
by comrades who miss the Light that
failed"
Then, a sombre envelope, bearing a
picture of bird cage with all the
| DlfuS escaping is sent 10
The P-rd-n Att-rny.
Really a part Of the governors job
or the tax payers money, you get a
COB,
But for taking the easy unearned
pelf,
Do you think You could justly pardon
yourself
There was enc that was mighty
lucky to arrive at even a wrong desti-
nation. 1t bore. instead Of a two cent
stamp. a revenue stamp, and was so
covered with figures that would not
! agree with an adding machine that It
was fearfully hard to decipher IT, 1t
was decorated with dark lanterns and
the picture in it was that OF man
who looked like a cross between a
pirate and Sherlock Holmes
This was the dim address upon 1t:
T-T-T-x Comm-ss--n-r.
Argue and fuss, argue and fuss,
An amateur editor raising a muss
Nothing to win but poor vindication,
Driven by 1aught but sheer dospera-
ton.
But take your pipe, smoke you this in
her
You're surely the very last tax com
missioner.
There are several more valentines
that came here by mistake, but the
lateness of the hour pervents the
printing OF them all. With apologies
to the gentlemen who have been
sighted we are grateful for the cp-
portunity which has been presented
to send these few to the gentlemen
| for whom they are intended
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18
ADVERTISING WEST VIRGINIA.

The Legislative Bulletin of the State
Board of Trade says: Progressive
states Of the west have passed the ex-
detrimental stages in their sustained
efforts to get their resources and adj
vantages before the world at large.
Intelligent advertisement of state,
they find, is as valuable as adVertis-
ing is to large or small business. If
misconception OF what West Virginia
is or what West Virginia has exists, or
IL the country at large is ignorant Of
the vast empire of wealth within hsr
boundaries, it is because no effort has
ever been made to place facts and
figures before the rest OF the country.
BY mailing down facts with figures as
would be possible, II the state had a
statistician, the state would have
found ii possible to drive it's attrac-
tiveness home. West Virginia is one
OF the garden spots of the world. but
there are many who know it not be-
cause they have not been told. Great
ing a Board of Resources without cost
TO the state, as House Bill 1876 seeks
to do-a be ard to direct intelligent eX-
ploitation of the state as a step to-
ward a conditional appropriation of
$4,000. but such sum only becomes
available when a like amount is rails
ed by the West Virginia Board Of
Trade. If members will read the bill
closely the large amount Of good to be
accomplished will be at once apparent
House Bill 1876 is well worth reading.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18
ey JAMES w. WEIR.

Charleston, w. Va, Feb. Little
publicity is being given to any propos-
ed plans Of reapportionment Of the
congressional, senatorial and judicial
districts of West Virginia under
the nsw census although senator's
end members of the house have been
working diligently on a number Of
plans. Population contiguity, local
sentiment, all have 10 be considered In
any plan OF reapportionment, and it
requires an Understandable amount of
time TO work out a satisfactory
scheme.
Ulder the new census 1t is unofti-
cially stated that Kanawha county
would be entitled to seven d slegates
and two state senators, as Kanawha
county has a population OF over So
COO Randolph county, the largest in
the state, will be entitled to an addi-
tional delegate.
It is Senator Woods idea to so ar
range the new senatorial districts that
oue-third OF them will be Democratic,
ope-third Republican and the remain
ing third doubtful, so that both par
ties would have to be on their good
behavior or else run the risk of being
relegated to the minority in the SEN
ate, whose power in acting on legisla-
ton is tremendous.
The administration, It has long been
known, is decidedly favorable TO an
incr ased number of state senator's
believing that with an additional
number of senators the senate will
perhaps be more responsive to the
will of the people.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18

Although much yet remains to be
6ene in the two short weeks that re-
main of the legislative session of 1911
with fair degree OF assurance it may
be asserted that this session will not
be extended. An extension of the
session over the constitutional limit
Of forty+five days requires two
thirds vote in both houses, a vote
which would be next TO impossible
to obtain. On the score of expense
alone many members OF both branches
ar5 opposed to the idea. Others would
oppose it because they are nearly
worn out with the duties or the pres
ent session, which have required a
large amount Of night work.
From the very outset of the session,
the judiciary committee, of which
Judge C. w Campbell is chairman,
has held on an average of two ses-
sions a day. AS is the case at every
Sc ssiion Of the legislature, the bulk of
the committee work has fallen upon
the judiciary committee and the com
mittee on taxation and finance.
Lateness in getting organized has
retarded the business of the senate
and the upper branch is consequently
far behind the other branch cf the
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18
Gossip of Legislature and
People at Capital ::

Legislature. Strenuous efforts are be-
ing made and have been male to
make up for lost time and committees
nave been grinding out bills as fast as
they could consider them, holding ses-
sions night and day
because OF its earlier start, the
house has been able, after a series q
caucuses, to dispose Of the more i'm
rortant business 1t was sent TO
Charleston TO perform, the last week
seeing many measures Of reform sent
over to the other branch and interest
from now on will center in the action
Of the senate on those measures the
house has so recently sent to the sen.
ste Even II the senate acts favor
ably on part or all OF these same
measures there is the governor to b.
considered, so that after all X may
he necessary to do much Of the work
over again
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18

Among the many epistles that have
come to the Gazette office in the last
few hours, at this late morning hour
that were badly addressed for they
are not int nded for us. We received
our share Of the cartoon kind with the
broken footed verses at the bottom,
but the addresses on these following
show plailly that there was some mis-
take in bringing them to the Gazette
Office. OF course it is impossible for
us to produce the beautiful chromos
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18
SOME STRAY VALENTINES

The Charleston Gazette of Tuesday
has the following editorial which may
cause smile. of sunshine on this
damp. misty day.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18

With one hundred a1d seven bills
on the calendar, net TO speak OF the
bills to come from committees, yet
to be considered in the nine or ten
working days Of It's existence, the
house of delegates began its night
session Monday in an effort TO clean
off part OF the calendar. How
ever, nemberssfeel that X will be a
physical impossibility, as it is at every
session, to dispose OF all the vast ar
ray of bills pending before the house
in the short space of time yet left 10
the house in which to finish up. In
the list of bills on the calendar and
yet to be reported is the public service
commission bin iHtroduced at the be-
ginning of the session by Delegate
Campbell, of Cabell, on which serie s
ot hearings have been held. Bills i'm
posing tax on gas, especially es-
poused by the administration, have
not yet come out of committee, and
the first public hearing on such bills is
was held in the hall of the house of
delegates Monday evening, when a
number of those opposed 10 such
measures were heard. The regis
tration bill and an employees liability
bill are subjects awaiting de!iberation
in the house.
The senate, two weeks behird the
house but slowly catching up, is equal
ly as hard put for time and will soon
begin night sessions. The finance
committees of both houses are anx-
ious to get the appropriation bill out
of the way before the eleventh hour,
and have been holding daily meetings,
comforting frequently with the board
OF control and with the heads of insti-
tuition. Requests for appropriations
made by the board of control have
been much more modest than those
made by the various public iAstitu-
tons of the state, and in many cases
the figures of the board of control will
be used as a basis at least for making
up the appropriation bill.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18

Respectfully submitted,
d. II. STUCKEY,
Collector.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18
CITY OF MARTiNSBURG.
Treasurers Report-June 80, 1910.


TO receipts from
taxes =. go. $20,16S.4S
TO receipts from
int. on taxes G6.54
To receipts from
water -. -. II ,249.70
To receipts from
fines ...... $500
liquor licenses 4,744.45
To receipts from
livery and wGg-
on licenses :. 212.75
To receipts from
circus. etc. IL
censes 10000
To receipts from
market license 1925
To receipts from
insurance Ii
@ ases -. -. 1,l2000
TO receipts from
peddler's Ii
censes -. .... 1910
To receipts from
pool licenses $4,000
To receipts from
street paving 2,0l1,4o
To receipts from
weighing hay,
etc. ...... 1893
To receipts from
extra market
fee .. ... bS.bo
To receipts from
city attorney 652.32
To receipts from
fire commits
sioner, A. u.
Darby ... 49,. 560.9l
To receipts from
e. S. Long,
Tres. r. r. tax 1,921,03
To receipts from
water extern
sion fund 49,. 1,596.46
To balance last
settlement 3,965.45 s5O,2G6
BY vouchers for
street expenses
IA mo 6.S55
BY vouchers for
police, etc. eX
nenses. 10 mo-. 1915
BY vouchers for
salaries. 10 mo- G.439
BY vouchers for
lights, Is mo. 4,o39
BY vouchers for
water, 10 mo. 1856
BY vouchers for
taxes refunded 1873
BY vouchers for
int. on bonded
debt ..... $3.50
BY vouchers for
int on floating
debt ..... 1920
BY vouchers for
fire expense, -
mo. 49,. 2,7O7
By vouchers TOT
election ex-
nense 100
BY vouchers for
printing ex-
pense .. 80. 4Sl
BY vouchers for
real estate ex-
nense 1J6
BY vouchers for
miscellaneous
exnease 1853
by vouchers for
bond issue ex-
pensa S3S
Ey vouchers for
floating debt,
Old Natl Bank 1900
Jan. 2S.
H. p Thorn ..............
Jan. 81.
n. C. Onderdoak ......... 81
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18

$35,S1S.74
Respectfully submitted,
GEO. l.. SENCBNDIVER,
Sergeant.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1911-02-18
FINANCIAL STATEMENT
THE CITY OF MARTINRBURC

Respectfully submitted
June 80, 1910. p. w. LETTER
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-10-06
believe BOYS CANE
To north DAKOTA

MINNEAPOLIS. Oct. 6-The par
ents of Raymond Rainbolt, Is years
old, 1853 Aldrich avenue north, and
William Campbell, $500 Fremont av-
enue north, who last night ostensibly
left home to go to choir practice,
today expressed the belief that the
boys had gone to North Dakota. WAL
ter Holt, a member of the choir, over
heard the boys talk of going to North
Dakota. and says they did not attend
the rehearsal that night. Mrs. Rain
bolt explained that Edward Wagner,
who formerly worked for her husband.
but is now living at Wblford, N. D.,
and her son, had become fast friends,
and she believes her son took the train
shortly after leaving home and got
we'll on his way before his absence
was discovered. The police have writ
ten to the authorities at Wolford ask
ing them to be on the lookout for the
boys.