davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-03-27

What's this word. pap" asked VIII
lie, pointing il out in his book.
Phenomenon replied pa.
"Wen what is that?"
That, my son, is what you would
be if you never disturbed your father
with Observation-Disclosures Standall
and Times
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-03-27

Doc Cook hasn't got anything on this
man from Berlin. ON the ferryboai
the other afternoon the Berlin party
told friend about a strange Trims
that had happened 10 his gold fishes
lie has a portable aquarium. he said
and every morning for three consecu-
tive days he found that the water i'm ID
had almost disappeared.
What was the matter with it?'
wonderingly interjected the friend
Did the blooming thing leak?"
mo" was the calm rejoinder Of the
Berlin man. con making an investiga-
ton finally learned that my little hos
Willie had been feeding the gold fishes
on salty pretzals which made they 50
blamed thirsty that they drank all the
water over Philadelphia Tel
ograph.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-03-27

agitated countcnance. mr.. Kipline -
he said, your son is hanging head
downward from the end of the bow
spirit Indeed" was the calm reply.
But" continued the officer III he lets
go he viii be drowned" Don't alarm
yourself" said Mr. Kipling. ne won't
let go. '-Bookman Magazine.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-03-27

News want ads bring results.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-03-27

Il thought" said the foreigner "you
claimed that men were free in this
country"
so they are" replied the native.
we have no king; slavery has ceased
to exist within our border Liberty is
our watchword."
"Pouf! l find that the percentage Of
married men is as large here as in
any other land."-Chicago Record
Herald
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-03-27

Home rule has been a long time
coming said Thomas V. Brady, sec
rotary Of the Irish Emlgrant Society
of New York. "The Englishmen who
promised it to us were a rather tired
lot when it came TO fulfilling their
promise. They were as tired indeed.
as Pat Murphy of Ballycoolish.
Pat said l. don't you ever get
tired doing nothing?'
pat looked up from his pipe and
nodded lazily.
ndade, sor' he said. I get so tired
dom nothin that l can't do nothin'
else '"-Washlngton star.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04

sudden glory arising from a sudden
conception of some eminency in our
selves by comparison with the infirm-
ity of others. or with our own for
merly."
II laugh is a benefaction and the
provoker of a laugh benefactor, why
are there more statues to dull people
than to witty ones? Who was the
greatest laugh promoter in history!
1t was said of Sidney Smith that he
was the father of 100000 laughs.
Laughter" said Lord Rosebery re-
Gently. lis a physical necessity. We
live lnder q sunless sky, surrounded
by a melancholy ocean, and it Is a
physical necessity for the English ma
tion-even for the Scotch nation and
the Welsh nation--to laugh. It ex-
hilarates all social relations. Was
not" his lordship added. the laugh
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
PASS WOOL BILL
OFFERING BY LAFOLlETTE, MOD.
IFIcATIoN OF HIS FORMER
MEASURE, PASSES.
VOTE STOOD 4S TO 81
Democrats and lnsurgent Republicans
Unite to Win Vote.-Reduces
Raw Duty to Thirty-five
Per Cent.

Washington, July ga compromise
wool bill offered by Senator LaFol-
lette Of Wisconsin, modification Of
both his own and the house bill, was
passed by the senate 48 to 80 through
the union OF Democrats and Republic
can insurgents. Upon this middle
ground the Democrats, having secured
a record vote on the original Under
wood bill Joined with the Republican
insurgent forces.
The measure adopted reduced the
raw wool duty to IS per cent ad valo-
rem and CORRESPONDENCE reduces the
duties on wooden articles.
There is some doubt as to what
course the house Democrats will pur-
sue with regard to the compromise
bill. House Leader Underwood sew
eral days ago served notice that the
house would not accept the original
LaFollette BILL
Although President Taft has made
no definite utterance to that effect it
has been strongly intimated at the
White House from time to time that he
might feel called upon to veto wool
bill, passed in advance of a report on
that schedule for the tariff board.
La Toilette Defends Amendments.
In offering amendments propos-
ing reductions in the duties on
wooden goods Senator La Toilette
of Wisconsin, in speech before
the senate, took the position that
these reductions, if adopted, would
compensate the farmers, at least in
part, for the losses they will suffer as
result of free trade in agricultural
products with Canada
They will" the speaker continued,
lin some measure relieve all of the
people of the United States who have
been made to pay tribute to the wooden
trust, long the pampered favorite Of
the tariff law. Two years ago. at the
time we were considering the present
tariff act, which left Schedule K prac-
tically unchanged. proposed certain
| amendments. These amendments
have modified and offer as an amend
ment to the pending bill. believe
that the duties proposed by me on
manufactured cloth are greater than
are necessary to protect American
manufacturers from European compe-
tition. However, bearing in mind that
this is but temporary measure to
be followed, as hope, by a more
thorough-going revision and with the
purpose of meeting the views of a ma
jority of the senate to the end and
that some reduction may be promptly
secured, shall offer for present con-
sideration changes in the woolens
schedule.
1.-THE effect of the amendments to
Schedule K, which l now propose. are
as follows:
DUTY on clothing woods, 40 per
cent; carpet woods 10 per cent; tops,
As per cent; yarn. so per cent; car
pets. 40 per cent; on cloths and all
other manufactures composed entirely
of wool or having wool as the COM
ponent material Of chief value, 60 per
cent
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
The Shepherd of the Black Sheep


a more intense form of the smile. In
extreme cases the eyes are moistened
by the effusion from the lachrymal
glands"
There you have a scientific defini-
ton. But 1t is clear that mankind
would hardly take the trouble to go
through that experience If that is all
that laughter consisted of. They
would not regard Dickens or a
Mark Twain as a benefactor merely
because a perusal of their writings
produced that. No; even the philoso-
piers know that laughter is something
better than that-something internal
that there IL such q thing as silent
laughter. Hobbies calls laughter y
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
THEY CHEATED AT CARDS
Experienced Shopper, Who Was Wise,
Put Hubby Onto Facts Of
the Case.

Speaking Of family poker parties
this really happened:
A young married couple attended
such session at the home Of a
neighbor the other night. And when
this young couple got home. the fe-
male end of the sketch said:
'Jim, hate to say anything about
the Halls-they seem to be nice peo-
pie. But I'm afraid they cheat at
cards."
NONSENSE"
Il knew you'd say that, and it's
dear of you to be SO unsuspecting.
But-well, what was the price of the
chips tonight? Five cents each?
That's what thought. Jim, ex-
amined those chips carefully, and
they're the very same thing that
could have bought at Jones's store
for dollar hundred in all three
colors, tool"
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04

For years several representatives in congress
tried to secure an appropriation to be used for
the building Of monument to General Miller at
Peterbore NJ H., near which town "Tll Try Sir"
lived . farm before the of 1872, and for
years after its close. The representatives who
had the matter of pushing the bill in hand used
the words Of Captain Miller at Lundy's Lane to
express their own determination to secure VIC
tory. Tley certainly did try, and the speeches
that wera made before the library committee OF
congress held patriotic appeals in every sentence
Apparently however, 1t was easier for Miller to
capture battery against odds than 1t was for
membefs Of congress to capture the dollars neces-
sary to build monument Of enduring stones
to his rlemory.
1t wac of try and try again. While the
cause Ut Miller whose heroism was worth
dozen Monoments, being pleaded, congress
voted rdoney for memorials to other men less de-
serving. Finally, however, a New Hampshire
member who had been digging into history found
out something about I'll Try Sir's" career which
was not generally known. Congress had been
told time and again that Captain Miller not only
had shown conspicuous gallantry at Lundy Lane
but that prior to that fight he had thrashed
superior force of British and Indians at Managua.
Congress had also been told that Miller had COM
manded the center column Of General Browns
army, which routed what apparently an
overwhelmingly greater force Of the British at
Fore Erie.
These things didn't make an impression. Con-
gross seemed to think that inasmuch as Miller
was soldier that It was his business to defeat
superior forces Of the enemy every day in the
week without imposing any monument-raising
duty on posterity. The New Hampshire member.
however. found out that after the war of 1919
Miller went back to his farm Petersboro,
plowed fields chopped wood and MIXED the cows
instead Of going to Washington to ask the gov
eminent TO do something for him on account Of
his record
Miller's popularity was such after the treaty Of
peace that The government probably would have
been glad to give him anything that it had to
give. When I'll Try Str" was asked why he
was playing Cincinnatus instead of taking job
in Washington. he replied: when men begin
leaving the farms for the cities the nation will
begin to decay"
Congress was told of this saying OF Mllers,
and either admiration for his choice Of a farm
ers life or else belief that he was a prophet
who before long might have the truth Of his
prophecy proved. brought a favorable report
from the committee ON library In the matter Of
the monument at Petersboro.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04

crease Of pension for the widow Of soldier
There were papers forwarded to him which bors
the case. and these he turned over to the
committee on pensions after his bill had been
introduced.
The widow did not get her money. and it was
not long before the whole house knew why. The
member who had espoused the widows cause
had been in congress for years, and the joke at
his expense was too good to keep, and one after
another Of his colleagues walked up tn his desk
and congratulated him on the wisdom shown In
the plea which in written form. he had
TUNED in to the committee to win the widows
case.
It is perhaps needless to ray that the mem
Der had never read the plea. It set forth the
fact that while the amount Of pension increase
the widow of the soldier hero asked for was
large, it must be understood that shs came Of
good family moved in the best social circles. and
was in need Of a large sum of money to keep up
appearances"
Upon occasion senators and representatives per-
NIT their constituents to do their talking for
them in congress- Petitions come in floods at
times, with the object of securing legislation BY
external pressure. In the Smoot case, and In
the pure food and army canteen matters the pleas
of the people came in by the tens of thousands.
The members of both houses present these let
tiers, call attention their import and then allow
the petition to do the rest II they are potent
enough.
Senator Latimer of South Carolina once intro
duced a good roads bill calling for the expendi-
ture of government millions for the Improvement
of the highways. The automobilists all over the
country began sending letters of approval. They
pressed their friends into the writing service, but
that they did not always pass upon the persuasive
merits Of the friends productions is shown fair.
ly we'll by letter the good roads subject
received by Senator Culom. 1t read like this:
Dear Mr. Cullom: Please vote for this id
bill, and you will oblge fool friend of mine
who runs an automobile. Yours more less
sincerely, --"
1t was Chicago who wrote this appeal
There were others like unto it. The good roads
bill still sleeps.
In the older days the school readers contained
the story of 'Tll Try Sir Miller" Probably
everybody knows who "rll Try Sir Miller" was
Certainly everybody ought to know. Gen. James
Miller then a captain was the hero of Lundy's
Lane. He said he would try to do the thing
necessary for the thrashing of the enemy, and he
did it. and I'll Try Sir" took the place Of his
Christian name James.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
LUCKY MISTAKE.
Grocer Sent Pkg. Of Postum and
Opened the Eyes Of the Family.

A lady writes from Brookline, Mass:
"A package of Postum was sent me
one day by mistake.
II notified the grocer, but finding
that there was no coffee for breakfast
next morning I prepared some Of the
Postum, following the directions very
carefully.
1T was an immediate success in my
family, and from that day we have
used it constantly, parents and chill
dren, too-for my three rosy young
sters are allowed to drink it freely at
breakfast and luncheon. They think it
delicious, and / would have a mutiny
on my hands should / omit the be-
loved beverage.
my husband used to have very
delicate stomach while we were using
ach has grown strong and entirely we'll
since we quit coffee and have been on
Postum.
Noting the good effects in my fam
lily I wrote to my sister, who was a
coffee topper, and after much persua-
sion got her to try Postum.
"She was prejudiced against 1t at
first, but when she presently found
that all the ailments that coffee gave
her left and she got well quickly she
became and remains a thorough and
enthusiastic Postum convert.
'Her nerves, which had become
shattered by the use of coffee have
grown healthy again, and today she is
new woman, thanks to Postum"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich, and the "cause why" will
be found in the great little book. "The
Road to MELVILLE" which comes in
pkgs.
Ever read the above Ietterf new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true and fall Of huAan
interest.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
Professor Sir Charles Bell In the
Strand Calls It a Convulslve Ac-
ton Of the Diaphragm.

Laughter" says Professor Sir
Charles Bell in the London Strand, lis
q convulsive action of the diaphragm.
In this state the person draws full
breath and throws it out in interrupt
ed, short and audible cachinnations.
This CONFUSION Of the diaphragm is
thu principal part of the physical man.
ifcstation of laughter; but there are
several accessories, especially the
sharp vocal utterance arising from the
violent tension Of the larynx and the
expression Of the features. this being
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
Labor Would Punish sIeuths.

Washington, D. c. - Organized la.
Dor proposes to prosecute the Burns
detective agency for its part in arrest.
ng the men charged with destroying
with dynamite the newspaper plant OF
he Los Angeles Times. In an appea
or funds with which to defend the al
eyed dynamiters at their forthcoming
rial, issued by the American Fedora
ION of Labor. it is declared that ever.
ian who was connected with the kid
aping Of the McNamaras will b,
,rosecuted to the full limit of the law
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
A Bitter Critic.

Ex-Governor Pennypacker, at din
ner in Philadelphia, said of the d.
vorce evil:
There would not be so many d.
vorces if there were not SO many
families of the Dash type.
"Mr. Dash said sternly one day to
his little son:
"'Your mother and I agree that you
require a sound whipping
"The little boys lip curled, and he
retorted bitterly:
"'Oh, yes; that's the only thing
that you and mother ever do agree
about"
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
Chicago Live stock,

Chicago. July .2s.-Cattle-Receip
strong; beeves. $5.10@7.25; Texas steers,
s4.40 @6.10; western steers, -$4.00@6.10;
stockers and feeders $3.0O@5.40; cows
800.
Hogs-Receipts estimated at 10000;
market, &c higher than yesterdays av
10; heavy. $6.30@7.O21s; rough, 5000
s.55; good to choice heavy. $685. @ 7.02h;
pigs. $5.3O@6.70; bulk of sales. $1,000
100
Sheep-Receipts estimated at $4,000:
market. slow at yesterdays. close ma
tive. $2.50@4.25; western, .$2.50@4.25:
t3.75@7.15; western. $4.50@7.25.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
TRAIN WRECK FATAL TO FIVE.
Between Fifty and Seventy-Five Hurt
in North Carolina Smash.

Hamlet. N. c., July 28.-An excur-
sion train from Durham, NJ c., on
the Seaboard Air Line railroad, bound
for Charlotte, rushed head on into a
freight train in the yards at this place
today instantly killing five people and
wounding between fifty and seventy
five.
Many of the injured will die.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04

of Sir Frank Lockwood something that
would make a stuffed bird rejoice?
And those who listened to the splen-
dor Of merriment which he could i'm
part by that laugh realize the intense
value of that emotional exercise"
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
AllbI.

Allbl.
Father (having caught his son in
a lie)-Haven't l always told you to
tell the truth?
Son-Yss. father; but you also told
me never TO become the slave Of
habit.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04

Do you ever think of the frrevocable
nature Of speech? You may md.
years after your light word was
spoken spoken. that it made a whole
life unhappy, or ruined the peace Of
q household.-6topford Brooke.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04
DAILY MARKET REPORTS.
Twin City Markets.

Twin City Markefs.
Minneapolis. July 2S.-Wheat, Sep
tember $3.50; Dec. 97%c; No. / north
ern, 99ssc; No. 2 northern. sShc; No.
pats, 80 Nc; barley. mailing. $1.07; No. z
rye, 79c; No. flax, $40
Duluth. July 2S.-Wheat. September,
9SAc; No. l northern. $1.005s; No. 1
1urum, soc.
South st. Paul. July 2s-Cattle-
Steers. $3.25@3.50; cows. $3.00@3.75;
calves, $400M650; hogs $625M675:
lambs, $275@6.5O
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04

GEORGE oAktatN
Mrs. Justwed-There's nothing In
the house fit to eat. I'm going home
to my mother.
Mr.. Justwed (broke)-Wait till get
my hat, and I'll go with you.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-08-04

ORCH, picturesqueness and abil
ity in congress knows no sec
lions. Northerners, southern
ers, fasteners and westerners
have their strengths and their
weaknesses, their likes and their
dislikes, their physical manner
isms and their mental idiosyn-
crasies just like all other human
beings.
There have been men in con-
gress who year in and year out
The border vidette., 1911-05-20
SURVEY COMPLETED.

This week J. Is. Wright and his corps of surveyors will have completed the government sur Vey of all lands in the Wa1lapai and Big Sandy valleys, embrac- ing thirty three townships. Owing to the peculiar condition of the surveys on each side of these valleys many of the sec tions will contain approximately ,OOO acres each, instead of the usual GfO. The area embraced in the survey amount- to close to ,OOO, ,OOO acres, the greater part of which is level valley lands, only the north end of the Wallapai mountains and some of the PeacOcks having been taken in.
 Now that the actual surveys of the valley has been made there will be & big scramble for lands as soon as the land office has accepted the survey and thrown open to filing. It is understood that the Santa Fe intends to lay script on a large area of the land and that an effort will then be made to bring the lands under cultiv ation.- The lands are among the richest in the world and should water be placed upon them this county would immediately rank among the big counties of territory kingman Miner.
The border vidette., 1911-05-20
CABRAL KEEPS PROMISE.
Returns to Cananea With Vic
 toriouS Army.

Juan Cabral, well known in Tucson, has kept the promise he made when he was driven from Cananea two years ago following alleged revolutionary activities during the electoral campaigns.
 I'll come back to Cananea and you'll be sorry to see me when I return," declared the young man. 'I'll come in way that will make you regret having driven me out" Nearly two years after making that promise he has made good. :" Yesterday his force entered Ca nanea which is now under rebel control.
 Cabral was clerk in the lumber department of the Four C. Company at Cananea for Sev- eral years. Prior to his being driven from the camp he was well known for his revolutionary tendencies and was said to have escaped serious punishment for his talks against the government because he had strong political influence back Of him which saved him.
 Cabral. following his expulsion from the big copper camp, came to Tucson and lived for time. He became active in the councils of the liberal party plotters against the Diaz government and was one of the first leaders to take the field in the Sonora campaign.
 Cabral is a young man, not being more than twenty-eight years of age. He is well edncat- ed and is possessed of consider able executive ability, which he has displayed in his management of the troops under his command Star. /
The border vidette., 1911-05-20
TOM REED SHIPS SIG, 800.

Yesterday afternoon Bert Lunceford, assistant Surintend- ent of the Tom Reed Gold Mines company, brought in from the mill one of the largest bars of bullion ever shipped from the plant. The bullion weighed S76, 800 and was the cleanup of thirty two days run of the twen- ty stamp mill. When it is taken into consideration that several days were lost in lack of power and the breaking of a pump the production of the mill is sur prising. The largest bar here tofore produced in a month was that for the month of March, ab- out $50, ,OOO, but the mill was run on very high grade materials dur ing that time. Now the run of the mine is taken and the result shows a remarkably good grade of ore throughout. The saving in the mill is very high, only a few cents being allowed to get a merely mechanical loss. The bar was one of the handSomes6 | ever brought to Kingman show ing tLlt golden yellow that de- notes high bullion. Miner.
The border vidette., 1911-05-20
MINES OF COCHISE ARE
 BIC PRODUCTERS.

Official figures in the mineral production of .CochiSe county mines as compiled from the yer, flied statements filed with coun- ty assessor Charley R. Howe for the year 1910, and a part of the assessment rolls of CochiSe coun-- ty, are:
 Calumet & Arizona, at Bisbee, copper, S2,379, ,477,31 gold, $780, 955. GO; silver, S11O,O47 4, valua- ton total output, S3,821 ,256. .10.-
 Calumet and Arizona, Court land, copper, 2,249,1J silver S246.J7. -
 Copper Queen Consolidated Mining company. Bisbee. copper. S8, ,7Gl, ,977.37; gold. S256, s33. "A: silver, S292, s36 20; lead, 3O.- 947. fl; valuation of total output, , S,342 ,697. 42.
 Great Western Copper com pany, Courtland, copper, e267.- 492. .O9.
 Hershall Mining and Milling company, Tombstone, copper. s22, ,26O.55; lead, S2, ,663. 15; valua- ton of total output, S34, ,921.1g.
 Leonard Copper company, Gleeson, copper, "A, ,22s. .13; gold. S19, ,416.33; silver, S29, ,O3O.O6; valuation of total output, S122.- 666.74
 Shattuck- Arizona Copper com. pany, Bisbee, copper, s1,S78,- 9e2. .3S.
 Superior and Pittsburg Copper company, Bisbee, copper, S3,- 333, 2O9. 14; gold. S124. 4.37O.54; sil- yer, S11O,OS7. .56; valuation of total output, $3. 569'667. 26.
 Tombstone Consolidated Mines company, Tombstone, gold, S5618. 50; silver, 6O82. 20; lead. $1875, AS; valuation of total out put, S15, ,559.1S.