Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1911-04-06
The EXCHANGE of Funds.

The Exchange Of Funds.
us your foreign son-ln. law going To
cost you much money!
1t depends" said Mr. Cumrox, ION
the outcome of an argument we're hay.
ing now. He wants to teach me to
play haccarat. and want to teach
him to play poker Washington Star
Mark Twain's Editorial.
Ihe flrst paragraph Mark Twain
wrote when ne began his editorial du
ties with the Virginia City Enterprise
was this: "A beautiful sunset made
Beranger a poet, mothers kiss made
Benjamin West an artist. aud $l5 IL
week makes us journalist"
His Advantage.
Ieacher-What kind Of q bird did
Noah send out of the ark? Small Boy
"A dove. Teacher-l'm surprised To
find that the smallest boy in the class
is the only one to know. Big Boy
Please. teacher. his father keeps a
bird shop
Solemn Moments.
ut is solemn thing" said the youna
man, when woman trusts man
with her affections"
1T amt so solemn" said the man
with the pink uecktie. las when she
won't trust him with his own wages"
London Tit Bits
His New Horse.
"Seen EZry's new hOrse?" asked one
citizen of another. Il have" was the
reply. well. what does it look like?
asked the questioner impatiently
well, he looks" said the other man
slowly. las If Ezry had taken him for
an old debt"
A Thoughtful Mover.
"Take this sofa on the first load and
leave it on the sidewalk"
What for?"
$50 that any of our neighbors who
wish to watch us move in may have
comfortable "-LOuisville Courier.
Journal.
No Stranger to Thorn.
Did you ever hear of snakes in win
ter?'
$40 he sure" replied the Billville
matron. my old man sees them the
year round. They're a regular per-
formin' circus to "--Atanta Con
stjtution.
Ambiguous.
She-DO you prefer an ugly woman
with brains or a pretty woman without
any:
He Madam. | prefer present com
pany to either.
land she is still wondering exactly
what he meant.) London Taller.
None There.
Mr.. Sauers lat dinner table)-What
kind of pie did you say this was!
Mrs. Sauers-Apple pie.
Mr.. Sauers 'peering vainly between
the crusts,- Hereafter when you make
apple pie hope you won't use evap-
grated apples. Chicago News.
The Sailors Line.
Pop. what lis the line the sailors
talk about?"
1T is certain degree which the
ships cross in their voyages"
oh! always though the line was
where they hung the wash of the sea-
Baltimore American.
Puzzled Her.
YES. George" said Mrs. Golightly
urgumentatively. but il. as you say.
it's SO difficult to get food to the men
in lighthouses in the winter. why do
they build them In such out of the
way. dangerous places"-London Tel.
egraph.
Writing q Love Letter.
He-It is quite an art to write sat
isfactOry love letter.
She-But what do you mean by
satisfactory love letter?
He-One that will stand the white
light of publicity in breach of prom
ise suit.-Philadelphia Record.
The Material That Costs.
"Those old Greeks and Romans were
lavish In their use of marbles for their
buildings" said the tourist.
YES" replied the man who Is doing
business with an architect; they prob
ably couldn't afford lumber. Wash
ington Star.
Asking His Advice.
A little girl. aged nine. called her ia
Their to her bedside the other evening.
Papa" said the little diplomat. II
want to ask your advice"
We'll. my dear. what is 1t about"
what do you think 1t would be best
to give me on my birthday"
Mammals Own Daughter.
His Daughter DADDY. you were
twenty-five when this was taken.
weren't you: Why. you might have
sat for it yesterday.
Her Father M'yes; your mothers
own daughter Well. well. you'll find
1t on the table. think.
His Daughter-Find what. daddy.
darling?
Her Father-The check book. my
own In NH New York JOurnal