davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
GLOBE SIGHTS.
LFrom the Atchison Globe.1


Anticipation hasn't anything on re-
alization when visit to the dentist is
the topic for consideration.
Rheumatism is another fairly steady
worker which gets far less credit than
the bustling, buzzing, busy bee.
One isn't so awfully wise unless he
understands the futility of trying to
beat a slot machine from the front end
1t is hard to convince man who
makes a public speech that his utter
5nces are not important enough to
print.
At least three people must know
when there is a secret marriage. which
helps to explain why it is always found
out.
While the death rate among speed
maniacs is high, you probably have
statistics to show how many fools are
bern every hour.
Speaking of names, the race should
rejoice that very few have been guilty
OF handling Hepzibah down to their
beloved offspring.
OF course a girl likes to talk scorn-
fully of anyone who marries for mon
ey, but she isn't likely to let it stand
in her way.
When mother selects a boys name
from a novel, she should remem Der
whom to blame if he fails to over
come that handicap.
Now that it has been decided the
cucumber is a fruit, there is a suspicion
it is what caused the trouble at the
first garden party.
There are a good many modest girls
in the world, but not many of them
are prominently connected with breach
of promise suits.
Aviators are not the only ones to
have trouble with the gasoline engine,
but they give it the best chance to
show its mean disposition.
Question for the Lancaster Literary
society: Resolved. that a fisherman
has more perseverance than the Demo-
cratic party and catches less
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
QUAKER NIEDITATToNs.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.l
A maiden effort may lead TO matri-
nony.
The finger of suspicion often de-
velops a felon.
It's wise chicken that knows its
own incubator.
It doesn't take a high flier to build
castles in the air.
The fellow who is his own worst
enemy needs no other.
Some people make a lot OF noise
boasting about how quiet they are.
Many a woman has made a bad
break in her efforts to crack a joke.
When a lawyer becomes a judge he
charges the jury instead Of his clients.
The woman who doesn't show her
age keeps the family Bible under lock
and key.
Some men are so wide-awalke they
actually give the impression that they
must suffer from insomnia.
The Cynical Bachelor rises to remark
that the man who won't take no for an
answer deserves to get married.
Even the people who have the knack
of getting others to do things for them
have to make their own mistakes.
Blobbs-"Has that horse shoe over
the door ever brought you any luck7'
Slobbs-'Sure It has never fallen down
on my cranium.'
'"The devil isn't as black as he Is
painted" quoted the Wise Guy. No"
agreed the Simple Mug, "a good bit OF
his blackness has rubbed off on the
people who have tried to investirats
the truth Of that comforting proverb.'
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


EFrom the Chicago News.1
The business of the palmist is along
various lines.
A ragtime ballad sounds like swear
ing set to music.
We all have a great deal to do. yet
we manage to do very little.
1t isn't always the heavy taxpayer
who has the most money to loan
Man can't change the weather, but
he can do lot of growing about it,
No. Alonzo, a debating club isn't
necessarily used to club the debater.
A man is never sure whether d wo-
man believes what he tells her or only
makes believe.
It's the things they know they
shouldn't do that seem to make life
worth living for some people
If at first you don't succeed, young
man, remember there may be other
girls who are not so particular
After woman makes up her mind
to have her own way she isn't satisfied
unless some man tries to restrain her
A man will work overtime trying to
get even with those he hates. but he
seldom becomes exhausted from trying
to help those he loves
The Lord may help those who help
providing they do not
overdo it by trying to help themselves
to more than their share
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

should do if. I must sacrifice my feel
ings to the principle of the thing"
Well, go on" said Bobby resigned
~, although wicked light shone in
his eyes. He did not like Mr.. Nash
and he did love his pretty sister.
The man in the canefield did not
look up until Mays white linen gown
flashed in the sunlight. Then he Eazed
at her, startled, and whipped of his
| hat; surprise seemed to seal his lips
for she was a bonny sight on that Won
derful morning and he looked at her
from the crown of her white hat to the
tip of her tan riding boot and drew a
long breath.
May leaned from the saddle and
took courage. My good man." she
began softly, are you a Christian? p
A startled look leaped into the mans
eyes and then he said ever so gently
and courteously, Il hope so, madam. -
am so glad" cried May with re-
lief. I hope you viii pardon my ask
ing you-oniy 1 promised my pastor
out home that I would do all 1 could
to convert the-the-er-er=" she
paused in confusion
-Heathen?'' he smiled up at her.
We'll, if one is going to sift the wheat
from the chaff it must ali be win
moved. Pray don't distress yourself
madam, l have often been addressed
by missionaries.
That's such a relief" sighed May.
"Good-by."
"Good-by.'' he said, and when she
turned her horse once more into the
road he bent over his work and re-
lieved her of any embarrassment she
might have felt afterward.
1T wasn't so awfully hard. Bobby"
she assured her brother as they rode
on IF all of them were as courteous
as that man. Why, dear, is this
your placer" as he got down and OPEN
ed wide gate.
This is Woodland-welcome to my
home, honey" smiled Robert as they
cantered up to the wide veranda o. the
bungalow.
where is Mr.. scoville. your part
ner?' went on May, as she stood in
the sunlight.
Here he comes now" said Robert
in a stif1ed tone.
Where ?''
Through the same gate that we en-
tered-he's been taking his morning
exercise in the canefield." Then Bobby
Leonard did not dare look at his sis
ter.
You knew who he was all the time.
Bob Leonard ?" she demanded with
rose-red cheeks and flashing eyes,
Yes dear-you had to have your
lesson, May, and it better be with
gentleman like Scoville than some i'm
pertinent stranger who can talk back
at you in some language you do not
understand" apologized and explained
Robert
Arthur Scoville came up to the We
randa and was presented to May Leon
ard. Not once by look or sign did he
give evidence that he had seen her be-
fore, and his tact in passing over this
embarrassing period was the beginning
of May Leonard's falling in love with
him.
They did fall in love with each
other, those two, and it was only their
promise to stand by Robert and the
dye-woOd industry until it's successful
termination that prevented that clever
young American from weeping audi
bly.-(Copyright 1911, by Associated
Literary Press)
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

Lizzie Barr's description Of the
place, is, we suspect, slightly differ
ent from her idea of that popular win
ter resort. To Lizzie it is undoubtedly
a place where ones efforts TO attract
attention are unheeded.
The Hunnewell Commercial club is
Agonized over the action Of Attorney
General Dawson. II the Hunneweli
Commercial club has time to drop in,
we will tap a fresh keg OF sympathy.
but we haven't time to deliver IL at his
present address.
If this temperature continues. the
rich, nutty aroma OF moth balls will
soon permeate the ambient atmos-
phere.
The Cloud county sheriff who dis
covered booze in Topeka isn't so
blamed astute as he may think him
self. The Topeka police are discover
discover it so frequently that very Few
retailers get a chance to peddle
whole case at a time.
Kansas is up to date in most things,
but her first case OF leprosy, a favorlte
diseases Of Bible times, has developed
but recently.
As soon as appendicitis was invent
ed, Kansas produced several cases,
right off the bat. and was equally for
tunate in producing specimen cases of
hookworm and pellagra while they
were still subject to newspaper space.
but leprosy was viewed with alarm IN
the editorial columns of the Babylon
ian press, when compositors set copy
with hammer and cold chisel.
Il am a poor man." says Hondo
Murphy. but L am going to give my
wife a gorgeous Christmas present
have found hunk of loaf sugar, and
have contracted with a jeweller to set
It in a ring"
The average lawyer tries to confuse
the judge and jury with technical
phrases and Latin quotations. but
JaWn Dawson is Different: he charges
the Hunnewell town council with
pure cussedness," which is straight
Kansas language.
Another cheerful thought TO be
CLEANED by the Real Optimist This
chilly weather is holding wide the door
and extending adieux to the open air
hamburger ship
In the Wichita newspaper row-mis-
called recall election"-the Eagle
won-but IL was not the Beacon who
lost. it was the tax payers.
Rabbits will soon be ripe. and hau-
zenpfeffer will be popular with the
Germans. Hauzenpffer Is a kind Of
rabbit stew, seasoned with bird shot.
Outside of the bird shot and the slight
flavor of rabbit, this concoction is
great eatings.
After taking a good slant at his
front elevation, we discover that Hon.
Taft is a Big Man. But It takes a big
man to stand a month Of the kind OF
alleged entertainment he gets, with
out going dingy and kicking out q
plate glass window.
Hep
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Most of the men who insist they are
brave have never hac their courage
tested.
X
All lies are not OF the spoken variety.
Any number of them are lived. And
they're the worst kind.
X "
No man can enjoy anything like d
hearty repast when he is compelled to
eat his own words.
X X
It's much harder to count a mans
words than his deeds because there are
always SO many more of them.
\ X y
The joke that most women go to
church to show their clothes and see
what their sisters wear is as nom
sensical as are most of those directed
at mothers-in-law.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

Another get-rich-quick scheme of
large proportions has been punctured
IN New York city. It's promoters
promised dividends or interest of 90
per cent a year. OF course these divi-
dends, payable monthly, We're paid to
the first investors out of funds provid-
ed by the ever increasing army of easy
marks who turned over their good
coin. AS much as $780, 900 in cash was
taken in from four clients. AS mat
ter of fact there is only one avenue
open to people who want to get alb
normal returns on their money. That's
the pawnbrolSing business. The pawn
brokers In some states, Kansas for in
stance get ten per cent q month on
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

Reports from Russia are to the
effect that Bogroff, the assassin of Pre-
mier Stolypin, was urged to commit
the murder by his anarchistic friends
who told him that he was doomed to
die at their hands IL he did not make an
attempt on Stolypin's life Bogroff did
the deed. but he only gained few
days grace of life by it, for he has
been promptly hung by the Russian
ant h nrities
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

Warden McClaughry of the federal
penitentiary of Leavenworth favors the
taking of the finger prints Of every
baby for the purpose of identification
in later years if one is necessary. Mark
Twain had Pudd nhead Wilson doing
the same thing years ago.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

Some more of the benevolent as
similation'' that was accorded to the
American Indians, and which increas-
ed the population of their graveyards
so materially should be passed out to
some of the inhabitants of the Philip
pine Islands. A bunch of them killed
an ensign of the Il. s Navy and se-
verely wounded several sailors a few
Savs ago
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

In all the reports of the great fair
at Hutchinson last week, neither of the
Hutchinson newspapers printed a fig
ure giving so much as an estimate OF
the crowd in attendance on any one
day. They contented themselves with
describing the crowds as being tire
mendous." or big" or large" But
not figure on the size of the crowds
was given. And there's a reason. It
can be aseertained by inquiring of any
one who visited that fair.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

People in Hays and its vicinity ap-
pear to be much worked up over case
OF supposed leprosy that has been
found there. And yet during the thir-
teen years that this case has been de-
veIoping it has not attracted a par
rfcIe Of attention
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

While Germany and France are busy
sauabbIing over Morocco, with Eng
land sitting on the fence to see that
she doesn't get the worst of any bar
gain in that neck of Europe, Italy has
put her hand in the European grab
bag and hopes to pull out Tripoli- It's
q merry time they're having in Europe
4heSa Gavs
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

Every boy born in the United states
has a chance of becoming president of
the nation. of course. And so does
every newsboy have chance of be-
coming the owner of a $4,000 apart
ment house, as did the famous st.
Louis newsboy who died the other day.
But few. mighty few OF them realize
on such chances.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR


FrOn the New 7 Ork PTess-I
A young man is ashamed to tip a
waiter too little; an old man too much.
Some men seem to be able to win
success simply by claiming they have
It's much more important to tell a
girl she is pretty than to think she is
A woman has such an Imagination
she can make herself think she IS al
most younger than her daughter.
What a man likes about going TO
church is when his wife is away on a
visit, and he can write her he went,
but didn't
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

It Is undoubtedly true, as the city
commissioners aIlege. that the water
mains are suffering form electrolysis-
And a vote Of the consumers would
probably express the opinion that the
water meters are suffering from
speed mania
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
FROM OTHER PENS
SPREAD OF THE DRUG HABIT.

SPREAD OF THE DRUG HABIT.
While Great Britain and China are
getting together on a. treaty for the
stamping out of the opium traffic in
China Uncle Sam would do well to give
serious attention to the danger that
threatens him. We are consuming ap-
proximately 100000 pounds of opium
each year. A conservative estimate
fixes 100000 pounds as the limit on all
that is needed in this country for medi-
cal. purposes. We are using nearly
100000 ounces of cocaine each year,
although it is claimed that 10000 is all
for which We have any legitimate use.
The significant feature is that the
consumption of habit-forming drugs
is increasing more rapidly than is pop
ulation. The added demand is not to
supply the requirements of more pop
ulation but to satisfy the cravings of
an increased number of victims of the
death-d ealing drugs We might very
we'll follow the example set by Great
Britain and China They have agreed
to limit the production of opium in
China and its importation from India,
The change is to be brought about
gradually, reduction of 10 per cent.
being made for each year until the
opium evil is eliminated.
It probably is not desirable nor
practicable for the United States to at
tempt to stop importations of habit
forming drugs. Both opium and CO.
caine, as we'll as other less dangerous
drugs, have legitimate uses. But the
supply should be limited to the amount
required for such uses if it is feasible
to do so-St. Paul Dispatch.
o.
BRITISH AND AMERICAN MEN.
A woman paused the other day on
her way to Reno-regarded by those
journeying thither as the fount of
eternal happiness-and explained that
the American husband was a bore and
the educated Englishman was not.
There is a certain amount of truth
in what she says. When relieved of
the necessity of working for the fam
lily living the Briton has time to cul-
tivate those graces of life which appeal
so strongly to the feminine heart. But
he who must work for every dollar
that his wife spends has no more time
to devote to social matters than if he
were trying to fill a sleeve with water
But is it not cruel to call such man
a bore and to intimate that because
he is necessarily much away from
home he has transferred his affections
to some other quarter?
If the well connected Engiishman
could unite with his distinguished
bearing, capacity for spending and
suavity of manner the money king
gifts of the American we should have
a husband of the sort calculated to rob
Reno of most of its business.-New
York Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

Corporation Commissioner Knox has
put out an elaborate and intricate re-
port telling how the Tobacco Trust
worked. A few words to the effect
that 1t worked most successfully in
bilking the people are all that would
have been necessary.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
FILL, LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PR4G5S

white" who says he is Kimmel,
has recognized an old horse, but the
dispatches are strangely silent as to
whether or not the horse acknowl
edged the recognition.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

The total demolition of the French
battleship Liberte and the rolling up
of a death list of frightful proportions
is more evidence that the greatest en-
gine of destruction these days is
shin of war in times of peace.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

Mr.. Bryan favors the recall of
Judges. Mr. Bryan seems to have a
faculty of favoring things that are op
posed by most of the discerning men
in both of the big political parties.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

their loans. It must be legitimate for
them to do so, for action is never
taken against them for making such
interest charges.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
KANSAS COMMENT
FOR CLEANER FOODS.


Most people Of mature years can re-
can an inelegant expression heard in
.heir cniidhood about each person be-
ing destined to eat a peck Of dirt be-
Iore death. Advancing civilization and
the enforcement of the pure food laws
Is taxing away the basis for the state
ment and the phrase with it's cause is
seeking place in the unillunined
background. So many forward steps
are being made that the public no long
er wonders when it hears of some new
adulterant being discovered and elirni-
mated from the daily bread or the
canned goods that grace the dining ta-
bles of America.
This week the millers of the south
west have made a demand for clean
cars IN which to ship -four, and no
doupt the -four that the grocery boy
carries into the pantry in the future
VIII be enclosed in a sack, that will
require but little laundering before be-
ing converted into tea towels or sum-
mer underwear for the children.
securing cleaner cars for carrying
hour IS but one of the results of the
pure food crusade and the dirt that
Will be eliminated by this means is
perhaps small amount; but q display
CT the different adulterants removed
from different products by the enforce
1nent OF the pure food laws would make
an exhibit that would be striking if it
had no other effect.-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
THE SUCCESSFUL MAN.

A man who has made a happy home
for mis- wife and children. no matter
what he has not done in the way of
achieving wealth and honor; if he has
done that We is a grand success. If he
has not done that. and it is his own
fault, though he be the highest in the
land he is a most pitiable failure. We
wonder how many men in a mad pur-
suit of gold, which characterizes the
age. realize that there is no fortune
which can be left to their families as
great as the memory of a happy home.
Gypsum Advocate.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
AS no FAMuIARITY

The Emporia Gazette calls the pub
lie down on being too familiar. It
says the average man does not like to
be called by his first name. That is
where the Gazette is wrong. The
average man does like to be called by
MS first name. That is one reason
why he would like to go back to his
boyhood home. He hears nothing but
his first name. There is a comrade-
ship about it, a closeness, that is ap-
preciated when you meet a man and
he calls you by your first name. Only
the snobs dislike this, only men who
fancy it is undignified, but it is the
finest thing in the world. A COM
munity where one fellow knows an
other we'll enough to call him by his
first name is always a model and a
contented community. - Lawrence
Journal World
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
Why Butterfly?

The question of how the butterfly
got its name is troubling a friend in
Warrensburg, Mo-, and he writes for
illumination. A dark subject, surely:
dark and perplexing. For what pos
s1blo connection can there be between
the fly and the butter2 According to
Grimm who is responsible for nu-
meroug other fairy tales by the way
the name butterfly, and another,
milk thief" also current in his time,
arose from a legend to the effect that
certain elves. fairies, or whatnot,
used to disguise themselves as butter
flies to steal milk and butter. The
Century Encyclopedia suggests that
this legend may be the effect rather
than the cause-an attempt to explain
an inexplicable name.
A modern craze furnishes another
and simpler derivation. There Is a
jargon in use among high school boys,
which aims to make conversation un-
ineligible by transposing the first
letters of the words used. Thus high
school becomes sky hool," and spring
day would be transformed to ding
spray One of the oldest examples
is "wenny ody bot a gotch ?" Trans
lated this becomes, anybody got a
watch ?"
Now butterfly is primarily flut-
tering creature. Fluttering past
seems to be just about its whole oc-
cupation. Nothing could be moro
simple than the step from "flutter
by which is highly descriptive, to
butterfly" which sounds more like
a grown up name. One of our youth
full linguacides would do 1t in a min
ute.
How long ago this must have hap
pened or whether the word forms at
that time would have made the change
possible, may be left to those who
wish to investigate. Meanwhile,
fluttering butterfly will seem prefer
able to one that steals butter.-Kan-
sas City Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27
The Coming WarsIlip.

What will be the ultimate outcome
of the admiralty's recent order for
destroyer to be fitted with internal
combustion engines it is difficult to de-
termine. but should the experiment
prove a success, it is possible to fore
see an alteration of great magnitude
in warship construction. The saving
in weight. space, and labor by the use
of this class of engine IS enormous
when compared with the ordinary ma
rine steam engine. 1t is estimated
that SO per cent of the space at pres
ent utilized by the main engines would
be saved, and as much as 80 per cent
on bunker space. At present it is nee
essary to provide storage for the
great quantity of coal fuel in order
that ships shall have an effective ra-
dius of action, but with the internal
combustion engine oil fuel only would
be required The same horsepower
would be obtained from about one
third of the weight of fuel at present
consumed per hour The saving in
weight of an engine of 1000 horse
power would be about one-half. while
rs per cent would be saved in labor.
Another point to be noted is that with
internal combustion engines tunnels,
as we know them, would become
things of the past. This would be
distinct gain to the destroyer. whose
whereabouts is at present often be-
trayed by the flare from its tunnels or
the volume of smoke emitted.-Pall
Mall Gazette.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

After taking a good slant at his
front elevation. we discover that Hon.
Taft is a Big Man. But It takes a big
man to stand a month Of the kind OF
alleged entertainment" he gets, with
out going dingy and kicking out q
plate glass window.
-HGP-
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

Kansas is up to date in most things,
but her first case OF leprosy, a favorlte
diseases Of Bible times, has developed
but recently.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-27

Rabbits Will soon be ripe, and hau-
zenpfeffer will be popular with the
Germans. Hauzenpffer Is a kind Of
rabbit stew, seasoned with bird shot.
Outside of the bird shot and the slight
flavor of rabbit. this concoction is
great eatings.