davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
To the Childish Mind.

Dorothy Ullman of E. Eighty-fourth
street, is very literal young person
To her mothers definition of the All
Seeing Eye she returned a question
as to the size of the eye
Can God see everything?" she con
tinued.
Yes, dear, he can see everything
at all tines
That afternoon Dorothy escorted her
mother down town. Before an op
tician's display she stopped. Then
Mother" she asked, pointing to the
big winking eye in the window 'Is
Gods eye as big as this ?"-Cleveland
Leader
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
MAN IS WITHOUT A COUNTRY

he brought Standing Bear with him.
Marion said he had tried to find some
one who can speak the Indians lam
guage. but although persons speaking
various dialects have tried, Standing
Bear has as yet been unable to make
himself understood. Marion intends
to communicate with the Indian bu.
reau in Washington, hoping that
through it the mystery of his find"
may be solved.
in the country where l found him, :"
Mr. Marion said, there are numbers
of Indians who live among the caves
in the cliffs, as did the Aztecs, as we
read of them, and I am wondering if
it is possible that he is a descendant
of this long lost branch of the early
civilization of the new world"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
GREATLY ATTACHED TO |
Husband Who Had married Money"
Acknowledged the Truth to His
Friends Query.

Apropos of beautiful young wife,
worth s40,000,000 who had just di,
vorced her penniless husband in or
der to marry again, Henry E. Dixey,
the comedian, said at dinner in New
York:
1.-The young man who marries for
money has none too easy time of it.
His rich wife is likely to tire of him
and throw him out in few years, or
else she is likely to limit his allow
ance to % or so cents a day.
81 married money! a man once
said to me-
Wasn't there a woman attached
to it?' | asked
Yes, you bet there was he ex-
ploded So much attached to it that
she never parted with a penny"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

I MT. NdIl UH USOd4He 50 A1teI SSItU ID
| the outcast that when he came north
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

trial package of Munyon's Paw Paw
Pills VIII be sent free to anyone on re-
quest Address Professor Munyon, SD &
jefferson SITS. Philadelphia, Pa. If you are
IN need of medical advice, do not fail to
write Professor Munyon. Your communi-
cation viii be treated in strict confidence,
and your case will be diagnosed as care
fully as though you had a personal inter
view.
Munyon's Paw Paw Pills are unlike
all other laXatives or cathartics. They
coax the liver into activity by gentle
methods. They do not scour, they do
not grippe, they do not weaken. but they
do start all the secretions of the liver
and stomach in q way that soon puts
these organs in a healthy condition and
corrects constipation. In my opinion
constipation is responsible for most all
ments. There are % feet of human
bowels, which is really sewer pipe
When this pipe becomes clogged the
whole system becomes poisoned, caus
ing bihousness, indigestion and impure
blood. which often produce rheumatism
and kidney ailments. No woman who
suffers with constipation or any liver
ailment can expect TO have clear
complexion OF ENJOY EcOO USdiIu- II
| had my way I would prohibit the sale
of nine-tenths of the cathartics that are
now being sold for the reason that they
soon destroy the lining of the stomach,
setting up serious forms of indigestion,
and so paralyze the bowels that they re
fuse 70 act unless forced by strong
purgatiyes.
Munyon's Paw Paw Pills are tonic
to the stomach, liver and nerves. They
invigorate instead of weaken; they en-
rich the blood instead of impoverish
it: they enable the stomach to get ali
the nourishment from food that is put
into it.
These pills contain no calomel, no
dope; they are soothing, healing and
stimulating They school the bowels
to act without physic.
Regular size bottle, containing As pills,
. cents. Munyon's Laboratory, SD &
jefferson Sts.. Philadelphia.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
"kickinq the Bucket"

When we speak facetiously Of some
one for whom we have no reverence
as having kicked the bucket" we
employ phrase that would seem to
be piece of latter-day slang, but as
a matter of fact, it dates back to old
England. when, about the year 1928,
one Bolsover hung himself to a beam
while standing on the bottom of a
bucket, and then kicked the bucket
away. Although at first used only in
cases of suicide, it has been applied
in the course of years to any death,
without distinction
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
A Question of Chance.

A story is going the rounds Of a
couple of young people who attended
church recently. When the collection
was being taken up the young man
commenced fishing in his pocket for
a dime His face expressed his en-
barrassment as he hoarsely whis-
pered: Il guess l haven't a cent, /
changed my pants" The young lady,
who had been examining the unknown
regions of woman's dress for her
purse, turned pink color, and said
I'm in the same fix"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Had His Troubles,

Michael Dolan, an is it yourself?"
Yes; sure it is"
We'll, We know thot bletherin' spal-
peen, Wildly Castigan's second hus-
band?"
That I do
He bet me bob to a pint of whis-
ky I couldn't swally an egg without
breakin the shell Nv it,
An ye did it?"
Il did,
Then phwat's ailin' YEP"
Its doom there" laying his hand
on the lower part of his waist coat,
IF l jump about I'll break it, and
cut me stomach wild the shell, an if
l kape quiet it'll hatch and I'll have
a Shanghai rooster sCratchin' me in
side"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

one day of the wonderful cures made
by Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound and decided to try it,
and it has made me well woman.
Ny neighbors and friends declare it
had worked miracle for me. Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound is
worth its weight in gold for women
during this period of life. If it will
help others you may publish my
letter. Mrs. NATHAN B. Creation,
81 n. Main Street, Natick, Mass.
The Change of Life is the most crit
cal period of a Woman's existence.
Women everywhere should remember
that there is no other remedy known
to medicine that will so successfully
carry women through this trying
period as Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound.
If you would like special advice
about your case write a cOnfiden-
tial letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is free.
and always helpful.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Fine Scheme.

Wife-Please match this piece of
silk for me before you come home.
Husband-At the counter where the
sweet little blonde works? The one
with the soulful eyes and
Wife-No. You're TOO tired to shop
for me when your days work is done,
dear. On second thought, l won't
bother you
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
His WIjrSt.

The German proprietor of Brook
Ign delicatessen store has got far
enough along to pun in English. A
writer in the New York Sun reports
the fact.
Hanging in the window of the little
shop is this advertisements:
THE Best You Can Do Is Buy Our
Wurst. Youth S Companion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Difficult 70 Answer.

Explaining the happenings of the
sixth day of the creation, Miss Fran
ces Hartz read to her Sabbath school
class: And the Lord God formed man
out of the dust of the ground"
Well" spoke up one kid, that's
nothin' new. Did he put him in the
sun to dry, the way we do our mud
pies?"
Miss Hartz discreetly slurred the
answer and proceeded with her les
son.-Cleveland Leader
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
ter firm he would be treated with too
much consideration
No Place to Strike Woman

Indianapolis, Ind.-'Where did this
man strike you?" asked Judge Collins
of Mrs. Edward Johnson, colored, who
was standing beside her husband,
charged with assault and battery.
HE hit me across the street in front
Of the saloon, judge" was the reply.
We'll, that is vital place to strike
woman, Johnson" remarked the
court, gravely. You ought to be
ashamed of yourself 1t will be 81 and
costs in your case
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Well Mated

Thus the inquisitiVe boarder:
What has become of the old-fash-
toned woman who used to call a wed.
ding reception an infare?"
Response by the white-haired
boarder:
4 think she married the old
fashioned man who used to crack his
muckles regularly twice a day"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Many Miles of CARPET.

New York.-Five hundred miles OF
carpet was shipped the other day by
a firm of this city to San Francisco on
a special freight train of so cars. The
shipment weighs 100000 pounds, is
worth 100000 and is the largest
and most valuable single shipment
ever made.
Its manufacture required the labor
of 5000 workers for eight days, equiv
alent &c one days work for 81 300 OF
eratiVeS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Ambiouous.

Obliging Shopman Ito lady who has
purchased a pound of butter) Shall
send it for you, madam?
Lady-No, thank you. 1t won't be
too heavy for me.
Obliging Shopman-Oh, no, madam.
I'll make it as light as l possibly
can.-Punch
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Home for New York's NeeJv

New York.-Work will be COM
menced here shortly on a miIlion-dol-
lar home for the needy, the gift of
Henry ]. Baker, a drug importer, who
died two years ago leaving a large
fortune. The home, memorial to his
parents, will be for all needy persons
who have passed the half-century
mark
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
A Poetic Prosecutor.

John Burns, city prosecutor of ST.
Paul, was trying to show Judge Fine
bout why some young men ought to
be fined for tearing pickets off the
fence of Mrs. Joe Goesik. Mr. Burns
said:
Il know Mike Chicket tore off that
picket, and the lady took offence
No lady is charged with taking
fence replied Judge Finehout, and.
besides, this is no place for poetry"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Local Color.

81 understand that sixteen different
women have brought suit for breach
of promise against Ritter. What's his
defense?"
ooh, he claims that he was simply
getting material for his annual out
put Of summer love stories. Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

Horace Greeley invented the type
writer"
Where did you get that idea?"
We'll, that isn't exactly what
mean, but his handwriting was prob
ably more responsible for it than any
other one thing"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
$1,000 for "Crusoe +"

New York.-Walter T. Hill of Chi
cago bought Robinson Crusoe," print
ed in three volumes in 1920 and bound
in red morocco, for $4,000 at the
continuation of the Hoe library sale
the other night.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

Regular size bottle. containing As pills,
p cents. Munyon's Laboratory, SD &
jefferson Sts.. Philadelphia
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
WHAT
| WENT
THROUGH
Beforetaking Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound.
Natick, Mass. tt cannot express
what went through during the change

Iof lie before L trled
Lydia E. Pinkham's
lV e G e ia bic Com
lpound. [ was in such
| a nervous condition
II could not keep
! S till. Ny lin b s
were cold, I had
creepy sensations,
and l could not sleep
nights. | was finally
told by two phys
icians that I also
had a fI1nOr T road
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Foolish,

Il am going to ask your father
tonight for your hand in marriage"
How dreadfully old fashioned you
are"
Don't ask him; tell him"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

Wool fabrics only are employed
in the making Of SINCERITY
CLOTHES produced by Kuh, Nathan
& Fischer Company, Chicago. Write
for STYLE Book No. Z.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
95, 1894 Die in Mnn+b

London-The official figures of the
ravages of the bubonic plague in the
central provinces of India show the
appalling total of 1884 deaths from
the disease in March. The fatalities
during February were 43,508.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

She-I heard Freddy Tickle has de-
cided to marry and settle down to a
particular girl
He-Huh! She can't be.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Strictly Business.

Mrs. Knicker-Did you hold a short
session with your husband?
Mrs. Bocker-Yes, / merely had him
pass an appropriation bill
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Very Much Attached.

Swenson-Why do you always hear
a ship referred to as "she?"
Benson guess it is because she
sometimes becomes very much at
tached to a buoy.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Moi Particular

In Use For Over so Years.
Children Cry for Fletcher's CASTOR
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
IL You Have Money.

That fellow Gotrox is a multimil
lionaire. He has more money than
brains"
We'll, what does he want with
brains?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Consistent.

Doctor-YOu are considerably under
weight. sir. What have you been do
ing?
Nothing. But I'm a retired
grocer, doc.-Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

one size smaller after using Aliens FOot-Ease,
the antiseptic powder 70 be shaken into the
shoes. It makes tight or new shoes feel easy.
Reuse sl65titzltrT For Free trial package, ad-
dress Allen s. Olmsted, lie Roy, \. I.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

When a married woman prays for a
hat, the Lord may answer her prayer,
but it's her husband who pays for it.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

Or. Plerce's Pellets, small, sugar-coated,
easy to take as candy, regulate and invig,
crate stomach, liver and bowels. Do not
gripe.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Too Much Like work

The boss's son is kicking"
"Why?"
Says he's oVerworked. All he used
to do was tear the pages off the office
calendars once month. Now he has
to wind the eight-day clock. too"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Quite Often,

Figg-Two negatives make an af-
firmative, you know
FOgg-With a woman it takes only
one.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

Worry anxiety fear, hate, ETC., ETC., directly
interfere with or stop the flow of ptyaIin, the
digestive juice of the mouth, and also inter
fere with the flow of the digestive juices OF
stomach and pancreas.
Therefore, the mental state of the individual
mas much to do (Inore than suspected) with
digestion.
Brain is made of Phosphate of Potash as
the principal Mineral Salt, added to aIbuTnen
and water.
Grape-Nuts contain that element as more
than one-half of all its mineral salts.
healthy brain is important, if one would
do things" in this world
man who sneers at Mind" sneers at the
best and least understood part of himself
That part which some folks believe links US
to the Infinite
Mind asks for a healthy brain upon which
to act and Nature has defined way to make
healthy brain and renew it day by day as it
is used up from work of the previous day
Natures way to rebuild is by the use of
food which supplies the things required Brain
rebuilding material is certainly found in
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

Many a girl would promise to marry
a man if she thought he wouldn't be
SO silly as to expect her to live up to
her promise.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

For over fifty years Rheumatism and
Neuralgia sufferers have found great re-
lief IN Hamlins Wizard Oil. Don't wait
for inflammation to set in. Get a bottle
TO-DAY
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

An artist is one who can create
that which has the power to haunt
the mind
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
A Strong Preference.

"She is literary, isn't she?"
yes, indeed; she'd rather read than
do homework any day"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18

If you want a thing well done, do
youTself-WeIlingt
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-05-18
Important TO Mothers

Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Signature at y ,I Of AHz1ZzK1<
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-07
HERz0G VS.. BAKER
MaryIanders to Oppose Each
Other in Worlds Series.
BOTH STARTED AT RIDGELY
Incidentally, They Went Higher Up
From the Same Club, Reading
of the Tri-State.
BOTH STARTED AT RIDGELY

| BALTIMORE. Md, October There is
/ a little inside story to the worlds cham
| piOnship base ball series between the New
York Giants and the Philadelphia Ath-
| letics which few fans save Marylanders
! will appreciate. In reality this little
| story may may not have important
bearing the result of the great series.
! The principals in this drama of the dia-
mond are Charles Lincoln Herzog known
| to all Baltimore fans Buck, and Frank
| Baker. Herzog is the third baseman of
! the Giants, and Baker holds down the
same position for Connie Macks team.
! Both are Marylanders and among the
! stars of the base ball tirmamen.
! They started their base ball careers in
| the same little COMMUNICATION the
eastern shore. Since making their bow
! for public favor in Ridgey many things
| have happened in the lives of both play
ers. Herzog, for instance, married a
young lady of Ridgey. and now is a full
! fedged citizen of the village. Baker
! lived at Trappe Nd just a few miles
! across country. so the eastern shore folk
| games.
Fortune has smiled upon these boys To
| be sure, they were splendid ball players
when first they landed at Ridgely, but
| they We're merely diamonds in the rough.
| They have ben well polished since that
! time. but. like every one else in this
| world, they merely took advantage of the
! opportunity presented by Dame Fortune
| BY strange working of fate Herzog
| got his start first and it was he who is
| responsible for the making of Baker.
! Frank was a pitcher and later an out
| fielder when he went to Ridgely Herzog
saw he possessed great batting qualities
and also that Frank had in him the ma
| teriasfor a good third baseman Immedi-
ately he handed Baker the tip and Frank
started out a guardian of the hot cor
| ner
After HerZog made good in real pro-
! fessional company, at Reading, he passed
| to the ranks above, but before he left he
recommended his old teammate, Frank
! Baker, for his old position on the Reading
club. Frank was offered a berth with the
| Baltimore club about the same time. He
evidently, however, felt that he had bet
| ter walk in the path cut out by Herzog.
| He followed Buck and made good, too.
| finally landing with the Athletics
Since striking the fastest company Her
zog always has been in the National
| League and Baker on the other hand,
| has been in the American. so the world S
series this year will bring old pals to-
gether for the first time. All friendship
! will be cast to the winds when they meet
| They probably will be glad enough to see
each other but base ball Is very much
| the same as love. In both everything is
| fair.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-07
TENNIS CROWD CENSURED.
English Player Criticises Behavior at
Davis Cup Matches.

| The latest batch of English sporting
| papers to reach here contain some criti
cism Of the Davis cup matches, and they
mostly all agree that the shouting and
applauding over the Larned-DiXon match
was anything but sportsmanlike. So far
there has been no account of an inter
view with Dixon himself, but that may
come later. All the accounts agree that
there should be no blame to the officers
of the United States National Lawn Ten
mis- Association or the West Side Tennis
Club over the conduct of the crowd.
The West Side people could not control
the specta tors and they did the only thing
possible under the circumstances, that
was to request the spectators to be quiet.
From the way Larned acquitted himself
against Dixon the EnSliShmen who SaW
him and who sent accounts home think
that he is nothing extraordinary. and
one advances a prophecy that he would
probably win a set off Brookes in Aus
tralia. The lawn tennis editor of the
Field saws with regard 10 the. Larned-
Dixon incident.
In another column We publish an Eng
lish PLAYERS impressions of the recent
international matches between England
and America in New York. The COM
ments Oh the crowds attitude when G. L.
Dixon was playing his great match
against Mr.. Larned do not make pleasant
reading and. we confess, they discolor
which lawn tennis spectators the world
over have hitherto enjoyed. 1t must not
be supposed that oar correspondent S re-
marks reflect on the craftsmanship of the
first-class American player. visits of
American teams to this country have
been too numerous and too recent for
any feeling other than respect for their
demeanor on and off the court to be en-
tertained. But their supporters in the
stands apparently allow partisanship to
become articulate-a demonstration We
are sure the. American authorities and
the American players in general would
deprecate.
The name of the English player is not
signed to the article, which in part says:
Il expected Lowe to win before they
began and Dixon to do the same before
they finished. but in neither case was my
expectation realized, although 1 Ct nsider
that Dixon deserved a win more than
Lowe, as he had to face crowd bowling
and booing when he served double faults
and in addition did not have the best of
luck in the matter of net cord shots
Larned was favored with four in the last
four games of the final set-Father hard
. on Dixon, as he tried like Trojan and
has seldom played better, ! should say,
in his life. He was undoubtedly badly
ratified by the yells and bowls which
greeted any mistake, however unfortun-
ate. that he made. and by the total dis
regard for impartiality of any kind. What