davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Two Women.

In her book Woman and Labor
Olive Schreiner gives an amusing illus
traitor Of the fact that 1t is not the
amount Of money person has which
makes him or her a parasite on soc1-
ETY., but the way 1t is used.
1.-The wife Of an American million
aire," says Mrs. Schreiner, was visit
ed by woman, the daughter and Wild
ow of a small professional man. She
stated that she was in need Of both
food and clothing. The millionaire's
wife gave her a leg Of mutton and two
valuable dresses. The woman pro-
ceeded to whine, though In vigorous
health, that she had no one to carry
them home for her. The American,
the descendant Of generations Of able,
laboring, New England Puritan wom-
en-, tucked the leg of mutton under
one arm and the bundle Of clothes un-
der the other and walked off down
the City street toward the woman's
dwelling, followed by the astonished
pauper parasite"
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Borrowed 20 Save.

Uncle Reuben, the village white
washer and man Of all work, was
frequent borrower of small sums from
bis neighbor, Colonel Arkwright, and
as a rule he repaid these little debts
at the appointed time. But on one &C.
casiOn when he had been accOmmo-
dated with loan Of $3.50, which he
promised to return in few days, he
allowed two or three weeks to pass
without making any mention of his in
debtedness and, in fact, seemed to
avoid his creditor. But one morning
the colonel Unexpectedly encountered
him ut the postoftice.
Hello, Uncle Rube! Didn't you bor-
row little money from me several
weeks ago?"
Oats right, cunnel." said the old
man. II shOly did,
You told me you'd pay it back in
three or four days. Have you had bad
luck?'
mo, suh,'r responded Uncle Reuben.
IN tell you how it was, cunnel. l
lacked jes' two dollahs an half O
havin' ten dollahs to put in de savin's
bank, an l used it TO- dat. It's all
right, cunnel. won't fo'git it,
Youths Companion.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
LOSES HAT
but MAKES A
gain OF 500

SAN ANTONIO, Texas, Aug. e.
John Devine, who resides at Wichita,
Kansas, has a hat and sixty dollars in
his possession which belongs to some
other person. Both the hat and the
money came into Devine's possion in
an unusual manner. On his way to
San Antonio he took a berth in a
sleeper. The next morning while In
the wash room someone exchanged
hats with him. When he returned
from the Mushroom he noticed the
mistake and made diligent inquiry
in an effort to ascertain who made
the mistake, but without avail. Lat
ter, after Devine had been in San
Antonio some hours he discovered
three twenty dollar bills in the sweat
band of the hat. This discovery as
sures Mr.. Devine that his hat was
picked up by mistake by some one
who left the train enroute. While
the hat he got in exchange for his is
not as good as the one taken, Devine
is perfectly satisfied with the trade
and declares he is perfectly willing
to go into the hat trading business If
he can be assured that he will make
as good a trade every time as he
made on his way to San Antonio.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
China a. I Buffer.

Professor Ian G.. Hannah In BIZ
book, Eastern Asia-A History" says
that taxicabs, or, rather, automatic
registers attached to horse cabs, were
invented about $50 A. D., during the
Tang dynastry In China. In his opin;
ion the Chinese empire is "the great
est bluff in the world,' and it sug'
gests to him a very ancient Chinese
fable, which he relates.
A monkey was captured by tiger.
He whined that be was thin and his
flesh Of poor taste, but he knew Of a
fine fat donkey for the tiger. The IT,
ger consented to be led to where the
donkey was tied. When the donkey
saw them coming he was frightened,
but recovered his composure and bawl-
ed in his masterful donkey voice:
Monkey, you used to bring me two
tigers. Why only one today?'
The tiger did a record hustle back to
the jungle.
China, says Professor Hannah, has
shown much of that donkey's resource
fitness in its history.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Jefferson as an Inventor.

Jefferson a. an Inventor.
Not many people know that Thomas
Jefferson was great inventor. His In
ventions were all Of articles of every
day use. He devised three legged
folding camp stool that is the basis OF
all camp stools Of that kind today.
The stool he had made for his own
use was his constant companion on &C.
casions Of outings. The revolving chair
was his invention. He designed light
wagon. A copying press was devised
by him and came into general USE
He also invented an instrument for
measuring the distance he walked A
plow and a hemp cultivator showed
that his thoughts were often on agri-
cultural matters. His plow received a
gold medal in France in 1870. Jeher-
son never benefited financially by bis
inventions, but believed they should
be for the use Of everyone without
cost
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
The Size Of Some Stars.

NJ. Nordmann Of the Paris observa'
tory believes that he has devised
a successful method Of determining
the diameters Of stars by comparison
Of their effective temperatures with
their parallaxes. In the case Of some
Of the brightest stars he has reached
interesting results. Thus he finds that
Aldebaran, the bright star in Taurus,
is vertically giant sun, the ratio Of its
diameter to that Of our sun being
greater than that of the sun to the
planet Jupiter. This means that Aide
baran has diameter probably not less
than 100000 miles, or more than
thirty times the distance from the
earth to the moon. On the other hand,
Sirius, or the dog star, to our eyes the
brightest of all the stars, Is, accord
ing to NJ. Nordmann, but little larger
than our sun.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
When Lobsters Were Common.

When Lobstsrs Were Common.
The lobster was not always the aris'
tocrat of the supper table and the
most costly of delicacies. A man who
used to live in Maine. but now lives In
Ohio, has this "reminiscences, according
to a writer in the Cleveland Leader:
zone. day here in Cleveland took a
friend out to luncheon. and suddenly
the old appetite for lobster came back
to both of us. as we were both born
on the Maine coast. We had two full
portions, and the bill was 81. And yet
az a boy I've seen my father standing
on the wharf. bargaining with a fish,
erman for his lobster catch Of the day.
and often. for 81 I've seen the lobster
fisherman turn over to my father the
entire catch. and the whole boatload-
ESQ or 800 big. black Holsters. perhaps
would be dumped on the landing and
taken back on our old farm as feed
for the pigs.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
juooornaut.


Juggernaut-or lord Of the world"
was supposed to be one Of the In
carnations of Krishna. The idol Ii
formed Of an irregular pyramidal black
stone, with two large diamonds to rep
resent eyes. The nose and mouth are
painted vermilion. An immense num-
Der Of pilgrims visit the idol annually,
reaching up into the millions. Jugger-
naut worship used to be terrible
thing, but it is not what it once was.
The state allowance to the temple was
suspended by the Indian government
in 1851, and the festivals are growing
less and less popular year by year.
The growing intelligence Of the people
and the restraining influence Of the
government are doing their work. and
Juggernaut is steadily losing ground
New York American.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Insane Enolish Monarchs.

Insane English Monarehs.
George III. is the only British mon
arch who in modern times has been
placed under restraint and deprived
Of his authority because of insanity,
though similar mes sures were at one
time contemplated with regard to his
con, George w.. the monarch who
has been described as "a bad son, a
bad husband, bad father, bad sub
ject. bad monarch and bad friend
and whose conduct while on the throne
was characterized by an eccentricity
which bordered on lunacy.
The insanity Of George III. was real
ly brought about by the dangerous
illness Of his youngest and favorite
child. Princess Amelia. The unlikeli-
hood Of her recovery preyed upon him
and fastened the attack Of mental de-
rangemeut which incapacitated him
from reigning, although he had pre-
viously suffered from this malady. He
died hopelessly insane ut Windsor after
losing his sight as we'll as his Senses
Pearson'G
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Why Thaekeray Was Moved to Tears
lo6v IN Intimate frion6 and q

Why Thaekeray Was Moved to Tears
A lady. an intimate friend and a
frequent visitor at the Thackeray
home, called late one afternoon. She
was shown into the study. and on en-
tering perceived the novelist himself
seated at his desk. his head bowed
upon his arms. Fearing she was In
truding in the presence of some great
and unknown grief, she paused. hest
tating. Then. thinking she might be
Of some help or at least express her
sympathy. she stepped forward. Just
then Thackeray looked up. His shout
ders were shaking. the tears stream
ing from his eyes.
Little Nell is dead" he said broken
~.
Little Nell?" his visitor interrogat-
ed.
Eyes, Little Nell" was the answer.
"She is dead. I've just been reading
it." Before him on his desk lay an
open copy Of "Old Curiosity Shop
Ladies' Home Journal.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
~s- -
Driven to Il.

Driven to Il.
Guy, the youngest son of Farmer
Timmins, had spent two years in col
lege, during which time he had accu
mulated more Indebtedness than edu.
cation. His father paid his bills and
left him to shift for himself. The boy
had good stock in him. however, and
managed by turning over new leaf,
practicing strict economy and doing
odd jobs Of work as opportunities pre-.
sented themselves to pay for his tut
don, and stayed on.
"How's your boy doing at college?''
asked the elder Timmins' next neigh.
Dor one day.
Hes getting along all right now"
III hear he's working his way
through"
YES" grimly. but with a CLEAN of
pride. answered Farmer Timmins.
HE found he couldn't work me any
more"-Youth's Companion.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Tea 1rmenS,


II used to be tea faster In Han
kow," said a New York tea dealer,
but got bad attack Of tea tremens
and had to give up the job. Tea
tremens is a recognized disease among
Chinese tea tasters. These men don't
swallow a drop of tea from one weeks
end to another. They simply hold the
tea in the mouth, get an idea OF its
aroma and then eject it. but neverthe-
less the aroma of the tea causes vio'
lent nervous attacks, with sleepless'
ness and even Authorizations that are
known all over China as tea tremens.
I have never had delirium tremens'
but If it's one-half as bad as the tea
sort I pity the poor victim"
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
lrvinq's Modesty.


Fuller Mellish, who was for several
years in the company Of Sir Henry
Irving, first coming to America in. his
support, told characteristic story OF
the great English actor.
I'VE were discussing TennysOn in
the beefsteak room Of the Lyceum one
night" said Mr.. Mellish, when Sir
Henry came over and Joined In the
conversation. 'Ah, yes,' he said, Ten
nyson. To be sure know him. Clever
chap, yes, but vain. One night Ten
nyson and were walking down Ptc-
cadilly together, and as we passed a
crowd on the street corner several of
the men took OF their hats and bowed.
Ha! Do you know Tennyson thought
they were bowling to him. Extraordi-
nary! Yes, clever chap, but vain, you
Know"
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
What He Was Showing.

"n0I TO "O0 0UO"SuSs
A young man sitting in a subway
car with legs crossed and one foot
showing, a highly polished shoe and
silk sock extended so far into the aisle
az to make it almost impossible for
people to pass without coming in con-
tact with the obtruding member was
brought to a sense Of his disregard for
others by three young women who sat
opposite. One said. Il wonder II he Is
showing his foot Of his shoe?" The
second said loud enough to be heard
above the car clatter and Of the
amusement Of others. Il think he
wants to show his clicked socks
watch it." NO." said the third. hes
only showing his bad manners" The
foot came down and was lost in the
crowd which got of at the next sta
hon.-New York Tribune.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Aa Oidn't Know.

One June day in 1862 near Freder'
ickshall, Va, General Stonewall Jack
son saw one Of General Hoods Texans
climbing a fence to get into a cherry
tree. "Where are you goingr shouted
Jackson. II don't know" replied the
soldier. ITO what command do you
belong?' II don't know" the Texan
replied. "Well. what state are you
fromY' II don't know" jackson
gave the man up. but he asked com
rade what 1t all meant. WELL" was
the reply, "Old Stonewall and General
Hood gave orders yesterday that we
were not to know anything until after
the next fight"
The soldier was left to his cherries.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
The Difference,

It was at an afternoon concert, and
in the stalls sat smartly dressed girl
and the young man who deemed her
the most precious jewel Of the uni.
verse. Behind them sat q couple of
the type of concert goers who came
rather to discuss the audience than
listen to the music.
Look at that girl just in front Of
u.s." commented one in very audi
bic whisper. She's shop assistant at
LIS. I should like to know what bust
ness she has at a gathering Of this
co., Ard t.,c. !cot: 81 her tct! She
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Laughter.

Laughter, while It lasts. slackens
and embraces the mind. weakens the
faculties and causes kind Of remiss-
ness and dissolution in all the powers
of the soul. and thus far it may be
looked upon as a weakness in the COM
position of human nature. But If We
consider the frequent reliefs we re-
ceive from it and how often it breaks
the gloom which is apt to depress the
mind and damp our spirits with tran.
sient unexpected CLEANS Of Joy. one
would take care not to grow too wise
for so great q pleasure Of life.-Addi.
son.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
NOTICE OF TEACHERS Elk
ANIMATION.

In accordance with Section 259 of
Chapter 266 Of the 1911 Session Laws
Of North Dakota the next regular
teachers examination will be held In
the court room in the city Of Bis
marck on the second Thursday and
Friday in August, or, August 10 and
II. The work will begin promptly 1T
$50 each morning.
All candidates for second grade GER
tificate must be present during the
entire examination. Those competing
for, first grade certificate will do 20
Friday afternoon beginning ct I
O'Clock.
All necessary writing materials are
furnished. I'LL 4"a
C. l.. VIGNESs.
County superin' endent Of Schools.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07

served me the other day with the one
l am wearing, and I suppose she per-
suades herself that the is no differ
ence between it and mine. l never
The girl in front turned with Grim
son face.
"Oh, yes, madam, there's differ
ence," she said quietly; "mine is paid
for."-London Tit-Bits
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
vse~ 0;nlaonatia.

vsry Diplomatic.
You say De Skill plays IN IDEAL
game Of golfr' ~.
Yes. he plays well enough to make
t interesting for IN Influential friend
without actually beating him. Anew
York Telegram.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
liaht Men.

At a certain hotel in Liverpool an
Englishman. an Irishman and a
Scotsman were arguing as to which
Of their respective countries had the
lightest men.
The Irishman led the argument by
saying:
I'VE have men Of Cork!'
THAT may be-" said the Scotsman:
but we have men of Ayr"
"Well," said the cockney. that Is
very light. but we have lighter men
on the Thames"
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
When q Soft Drink 10 Hard.

When q Soft Drink 10 Hard.
"You are arrested on very serious
charge, my good man." began the
court, looking at the man severely.
"You are accused of getting into a
fight and hitting the complainant over
the head with bottle. What have
you to say for YOURSELF"
"Your honor 1 didn't mean to hurt
him. I never thought that It would
hurt him very much, cause the bot
tie contained nothin. but soft drink"
returned the prisoner. - Milwaukee
Free Press.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
ElDs WANTED.

Sealed bids will be received by the
Board of Richmond School District
No. 10 of Burleigh county, North Da-
kota, at the clerks office (Mistress
Hattie Gambs) up to 4o'clock in tie
afternoon of Saturday, September 8,
1911.
The successful bidder will be re-
quired to give bond double the amount
of his bid.
The building is to be erected in
compliance with plans and specifica-
tons which may be seen at district
clerks Office Ong, N. D., and at the
residence of T. I. Bailey, Garfield,
N. D.
The board reserves the right to re-
ject any and. all bids.
Dated at Garfield, North Dakota,
this 5th day August, 1911.
BY order Of School Board.
HUMPHREY BAILEY,
President
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Quick Action.

A southern farmer was trying to sell
z mule to a negro who two years be-
fore had been kicked on the head by
the animal.
"Of course" said the farmer, this
mule kicks, but
II don wan him." objected the COL
ored man emphatically.
"Just because he kicks? asked the
farmer, with an air of contempt
"Humph!" grunted the negro. dat
mule DON kick: he shoots" Popular
Magazine.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
A Witty Thief.

Munich has been visited by a thief
With a sense Of humor. Several days
ago all the clocks in the ministry Of
railways came to q standstill. The
central or master clock" which con-
trols all the others, had been stolen.
In its place was a sheet Of paper with
The words, thine was made for
slaves"
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
An Innocent Query.

An Innocent Query.
At a dinner party in England the
host introduced to the favorable notice
Of the company. amid murmurs of ad-
miration, splendid tru6led pheasant.
isn't it a beauty?" he said. "Dr.
eo-and-so gave 1t to me; killed It him.
SELF"
"Ah! What was he treating It forT'
asked one Of the guests.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Qna oiaadxantaQo.

Potts-It is a great deal better to
own your own home and not have to
pay rent, isn't it, Lotts-Well. yes. in
a general way 1t Is. but it has its dis
advantages. a fellow can't 60 round
driving nails anywhere he pleases in
the woodwork of bis own home, you
know.-Boston Transcript
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Makina 4 Herr.

A nourishing supper, a good nights
steep and a fine morning have often
made 4 hero Of the same man who
BY indigestion, a restless night and 4
rainy morning would have proved a
coward Chesterfield.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
The Timid ono.

An officer in the army, noted fox h1s
bravery. laughed at timid woman b.
cause she. was alarmed At tho noise
Of cannon when q salute was dred.
The brave officer subsequently mar
ried that timid woman, and M
months afterward he took OF his booes
In the hall when he came In late at
night.-London Telegraph.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07

The State Board of Equalization
was passive today, spending the time
between their separate official duties
and studying the returns by the c0un.
ty boards.
State Auditor Brightbill has pre-
pared the following table for the use
of the board which shows the real es'
tate conditions. The first two columns
show the acreage returned by the
county boards as far as reported, the
next two columns show the increase
and decrease by counties as compared
with the action of the state board OF
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
One Virtue.

The Lady-Poor tramp! Have you
anything III your life to be proud OF
The Hobo-Yessum. never beat no
body out of no laundry bill.-Toledo
Blade. T..
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Aia Maya

MS "ay&
my husband" sobbed Mrs. Frivol.
'is the most contrary kind Of man"
How so?" asked her sympathetic
friend.
"Why. every 'time," responded the
aggrieved wife. that begin dressing
up he IL sure to give me q dressing
doWn."-BaltimOre American.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Hidden DANGER.

Owner-How did you come to pune
ture the tire? ChauReur-Ran over
milk bottle. Owner-Didn't you see
It In time? Chaufeur-No; TIE kid
had It under his coat.-Town Topics.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
How He Eseapod,

"What do you think. A fellow stole
q drum from the orchestra yesterday "
ibid be get orr
Yes. saw q cop coming and beat It"
Exchange.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
Puttina In q Stina

aVUSSsVIO III y SStUOs
Maud-Jack is telling around that
you are worth your weight in gold.
Ethe-The foolish boy. Who Is he
telling 1t to? Maud-His creditors
Denver Times.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07
A oroam AZ 4 Hat.

shs-l dreamed last night You bought
me- q new hat. He-Well. that's the
nrst dream of hat you ever had that
didn't cost me money.-Club Fellow
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07

Creditors have bettsr memories than
Aabtofs.-Ffankiio.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07

There would not be 50 many open
mouths II there were not % many
open ears.-Hall.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-07

Let us be kind If We wish to be re-
gretted.-Pierre Lodi.