davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
COLLEGE FRANKS

From the Washington Post.
 Americans are always priding them selyes on possessing a keener sense or b,,mor than their British cousins, but now and then we lapse into state or density, a totallty of failure to appre- cate a good thing, that causes us 10 loathe and detest what once appealed to o,,r risibles. Thus the Americans way of going to extremes takes him beyond the low watermarlS of British obtuseness, A circumstance of recent Illustration ap- bearing in the news of the day. Nobody can deny that college pranks which once split our sides have become anathema. College authorities everywhere, and the general public as well, have put the taboo on hazing and ragging, and both pro1es- sors and police come down nara on stu- Tents who overstep the rules
 For instance, the other day number of "hot-f celebrants were sent home in disgrace from the University of Vir- glnia. The gravity of their offense con- sisted in invading the natural history museum and leading all the stuffed ami nal specimens out upon the lawn, on the plea that they needed fresh air. How we would have guffawed at the humor of the thing In Artemus Wards day! Today the verdict is ''served him right Ana had they gone so far as the Cambridge boys went about the same time-a rag gngv which fairly convulsed staid and sober England-the virginians would have gone to Jail for 1t.
 The student demonstration at cam bridge centered about the departure Of an undcrgraduate who had been doing great things on the cricket field, but who was ''sent down. for failure to pass examina- tions. He was accorded mock funeral on gigantic scale every fancy costume In the town having been hired, and every vehicle chartered. Early on the scene was a cab containing the devil, followed by another with eight students inside two astride the horse, and all in pa1amas Following a band wagon with eight musl- clans in masks came the hearse with the deceased" walking at the side, and then came a cab with large placard Alas! my poor brotherl' with the "de' ceased's" brother. But as the story runs enc most pathetic figure in the procession
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
p,rm,neham office BniIding.

"When Brminghams first modern of- flee building-the Woodward-was erect ed about 10 years ago, people wondered if the demand for office space would be sufficient to keep it filled" remarked business man, And when the second steel building followed some time after wards the question of demand was again asked. Today Birmingham has seven large modern office buildings and now the old bank quarters at the southeast corner of First avenue and Twentieth street are being razed to make room for the tallest structure of all-the Ankrlcan Trusts eighteen story build ing
 ''The Brown-Marx 16-story slIyscraper contains about 800 rooms and is the larg- est office building south of Chicago and west of Pittsburg All the office buildings here are practically filled and the Amer ican Trust and Savings building will probably not have any vacant office rooms six months after it's completion
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A RUDE AwAKFNrNe

nODE AWAKENING. Mho ram would lead the simple life, When lost amid the city's strife, Hath no recourse save doleful sighs And anxious looks and fearful eyes. The still recurrent jolt and jar, The swiftly booming trolley car The automobiles. quick to bump, Just keep fellow on the jump. And should he ever stop to dream Of lolling by a hermit stream, Or piucldng daisies on the down To weave some sweetheart lass a crown He'll find him hedged in lanes of death, Though cops and drivers spare no breath To save by shouts and loud reproofs From grinding wheels and horses hoofs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
LAST THING IN MOURNING:

From the Sporting Times.
 The manager of the theatre racked his brain in vain.
 we mus do something" he repeated, bitterly. NPeople will expect us to do something to show respect to the pro- prietor, low that he Is dead"
 Shall we close for the night of the funeral?" suggested the assistant man. ager.
 With this business? You're Q fool laddie. fool No; put the chorus in black stockings.' And it was even SO
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
THE MIGGLEs CUR1
From the New York Times.

From the New York Times.
 i" HE story of an American womans
 vain struggle to make living
 x abroad, her fruitless appeals to the representatives of her government, her detention in an English workhouse, and her deportation from that country is told by Miss Julia Adlaide Hubbard, now lodged at the Methodist Episcopal home in State street. She Is II years old and broken in health by her hard struggle. Miss Hubbard had only one cent in her pocket when she arrived here on the New orlS few days ago.
 She went abroad in 1908 on the ad- vice of her. physician. as she was then suffering from nervous attack. Then she had means enough to enable her 10 live hut her income was so slender that she gave music lessons to eke 1t out. She vent abroad confident that she would be able to make both ends meet, but she got few pupils, and the interest upon the money she had invested not heinz enough she had to use the prin- cipal. In this way she saw her small fortune dwindle to nothing.
 Miss Hubbard was born at Elgin' Ill., where her father was practicing phy- sician. He died in 1892 and she found herself the possessor of some property in Maryland and $10.oo0 in securities. shs moved to Washington in 1893 and lived there until 1908. when her phy- sician advised the European trip.
 q went first to Berlin, taking with ice. besides my property deeds and stock certificates, passport and letter from the state department. l strug- gled along for seven months in Berlin. wrote to Ambassador Hill appealing to him to assist me in getting music pupils. No attention was paid to my letter.
 Finding it impossible to get along in the German city 1 went to Paris. There I made a similar appeal to Am bassador White, and later to Ambassa- dor Bacon, who succeeded MT. White.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
Iiuuor Election

"It is understood that the election 10 decide whether Birmingham shall remain dr, or shall have a legalized liquor traf- fic will he held some time in August, said a member of the Chamber or Noih- merce. "It will be county election ana the chances are that the vets will win by a big majority. I say this because nearly every one I meet who voted dry in 1907 says he has had enough or the prohibition experiment and has come 10 the conclusion that a few strictly regu- lated saloons, paying revenue to the city, would be preferable to the present state of affairs.
 "Prohibition may be a good thing Tor small towns, but it does not set well in a city of 150,ooo."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
REFLECTIONS OF BACHELor

From the New York Pres
 Blessings in disguise keep on wear ing 1t.
 There Is some patriotism in every hody except politicians who do the most talking about it.
 Most men want so much maybe Fate thinks it would be of no use to give th em anything at all.
 Nothing fills man with more pride than how he thinks his friends ad~ n,ire him when they don't.
 woman can't always keep from losing her looks. but she can always keep from finding her years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
UTOPIA.


 (Contributed) The wheel of life turned rapidly it's swift. uneven round, And in the midst of strange new land it one day dropped me down. No frenzied finance met me, no thought of worldly care, Not even an anxious monent came bout what to eat snd wear. Sweet harmony of kindred souls seemed there the native state, And no one envied another, and no one cursed his fate; No whiskey problem faced these folk, no criminal code they knew. For men were wise and understood ex- actly what to do. With soul and mind and conscience un- biased by selfish greed They stood up, strong for what was right and for the country's need They asked and God directed, then led as strong men should, And women wished no vote at all, but helped as women should.
 Mrs. Leola T. Park. -r.f.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

THE MILLS OF THE GODS.
 some years ago I slung g. stray shoe m this column at one of the lazy, gad- ding, sood-for-nothing girls of this com munity who was then. letting her mother wrestle the pots and slsillets and do up all the housework while she read yellow back novels, bummed the streets where the loafers would speak to her in passing. and met trains at the Santa Fe depot. I said then, right about here in this col-. umn, that some day she would get her pay out of the mills of the gods. She's got it. For more than a year she has been supporting a worthless whelp of husband by the washtub in neighboring city. He is ore of the bunch that used to stand around waiting for her to come out, while he smoked cigarettes and exchanged foul remarks with the gang. I see by the Wichita papers that she has at last ap- piled for divorce. Editor Hansmann in the l<ingman Journal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

which was a half mile long, was tho heartbroken "widow." The crowds were so dense that it took an hour to reach the railway station, mile away, where the scene reached its climax. The college boys climbed onto roofs, and the car roofs of the funeral train which was to take away the dead" man were as crowded with mourners as the platform. The boys amused themselves knocking off police mems helmets with their canes and dang ling red herrings in their faces on pieces of string.
 It was voted the greatest rag in the history of Cambridge but what would have been said had it been pulled on in "fun-loving America?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
AN AID TO ELEGANCE.

What book helped you most, MT Greatwad, during your younger days?"
 "A copy of ancient atlas which, strangely enough, somebody had left in the hall bedroom I occupied.'
 "Ahl You studied it during your leis- ure moments, I presume?"
 "Oh, not at all, but I found the book of great assistance in keeping my trousers pressed while I was counting my employ CTS daughter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Citizen Diaz's last words to his own people related to the army and the use of it in keeping order. He is an ex- autocrat who will not come back.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Iretenders in Europe take no risks and their cause never prospers Nothing vcntured nothing gained.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

The Canadian parliament has ad- journed for two months. It took the measure of our do-nothing Senate and ihcn recessed for two months.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

The Illinois people want real inves tigation of the Lorimer case without any whitewashing incidents
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

No amount of education can save the Harvard elms from the borers. Greek is considered of little value by the borers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Postmaster General Hitchcock ran his famous steam roller over the an- nual postal deficit and it disappeared.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
FAR FROM HOME.

What was the most interesting sight you saw. in Paris?"
 "A stunning blonde from Kankakee."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Madero is now engaged in putting down instruction instead of promoting il. His viewpoint has been changed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
FINS.

He had a little auto car
 And made it go so very fast, He landed with an awful jar
 And broke his foolish neck at last.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Citizen Diaz Is pretty old and yet he may have some castles in Spain He is gong there at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Standardization ex-presidents all go to Spain and that country may be- come over-populated.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
EFFECTIVE METHOD.
BEING STRANDED ABROAD

Nr. Bacon was nice enough to reply, Tut said he could no nothing for me. After IS months of struggle to obtain employment I had to begin to sell my stocks. Some one told me Brussels was cheap city to live in, and I went there, taking with me what was left of my small fortune. There met with the treatment I had become accustomed to from Ambassador Bryan and Consul Watts. I gave up the struggle in Brus- sels in three months, and went to Bruges. and thence to Antwerp.
 "In December I was unable to meet my bill at the Grand Hotel Terminus, at Antwerp, and my trunks were seized. went next to the Hotel de la Paix, and the maitre d'hotel of the Hotel Terminus, who took an interest in me, arranged to send me to England, where I hoped to obtain passage back to this country. I had to leave my handbag. with my papers and deeds, at the Hotel dc la Paix, as I was unable to pay my bill. I arrived in London on December 21 with only 10 francs, and went to the American society in London. The sec retary, r. c. Vanduser helped me for two weeks, then I was sent to the Pad- dington worlShouse, where, after nine weeks, asked for and obtained my re- lease.
 My situation then was desperate. I had a few rings, and these I sold I wrote to Ambassador Reid and King George The former did not reply. I received a reply to the second letter from cabinet minister The King re- gretted my case, but would not inter- fere between an American and the rep resentative of her government" Miss Hubbard then went to the St. C3ies workhouse. There she remained for some time. until told that she must choose between returning to America and three months at hard labor. She chose the former, and was taken to Southampton and put in the steerags of the New York.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

If tropical May Is to be succeeded by a sizzling June there may be an exodus to Saskatchewan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

The sweet girl graduate is dividing her time between the dressmaker end her commencement essay.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Mexico used the recall and today an aged ex-president is sailing the seas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Oregon Is progressive and also pug nacious. It is remarkable state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

The 17-year locust is food in the long run for the English sparrow. Its end is inglorious.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Some small towns win fame by se- curing postal banks, and some by hav- ing quadruplets.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
HOME

From the Greek of Leonidas by Robert Bland. Cling to thy home! if there the meanest
 shed Yield thee hearth and shelter for thy
 head, And some poor plot with vegetables
 stored, Be all that Heaven allots thee for thy
 board Unsavory bread. and herbs that scat-
 tered grow Wild on the river brink or mountain
 brow, Yet cen this cheerless mansion shall
 provide Moro hearts repose than all the world
 beside.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Nhe Standard oil now has in the To- lacco trust brother in diversity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

May went out like a house afre and June is keeping up with the process sion,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

The rule of reason should be fitted to joy riders and to all chaffeurs for that matter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

Automobile speed racers should hire a coroner by the year and save fees.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
Clearing Outlook

''rhis month of June will witness mark ed improvement in business conditions" said W. N. Thornton of Chicago.
 General trade in May was better than had expected, but it was small conn pared with what it will be in the months to come. The big crops now growing will overtax the railroads.
 Crop news is already having a stimu- lating effect on business. It will be the middle of July, perhaps. before industrial prosperity is in full swing again, but every day from now on will bring forth signs of better times. The south was never so thrifty as today, and of the large volume of business that will be in evidence in the last six months of this year the south will have it's full share"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
A Marked Tribute to the Cardinal

1ne npH-StCldIldH CeltDTdllOn Ol tn6 fiftieth anniversary of Cardinal Gibbons ordination to the priesthood and the twenty-fifth of his elevation to the car dnalate to be held in Baltimore Tues- day will bring together men of all creeds and of no creed" said an old layman.
 "It will be a remarkable tribute to one of Americas foremost citizens and the highest dignitary of the Catholic church in this country But it Is just such tribute as one might expect The Catho- lie church has had many eccesiastics- bishops and archbishops- who have held the esteem of the general public and have left strong impressions by reason of their scholarship and force of char acter, but Cardinal Gibbons occupied a position that is somewhat unique. He has not only been respected by all classes, but he has been on personal friendly terms with many Of the lead ing Protestant ministers of this coun- try; and it can be safely said that no act of his has called forth from any source the least adverse criticism.
 Cardinal Gibbons is a native of Balti- more. His parents were Irish and a part of his education was received in Ire land While he has always been in full sympathy with the Irish home rule movement, he is one of the few men of Irish blood and Irish association who has been on terms of cordial friendship with the English aristrocracy and with English statesmen. He is a natural born diplomat and peace-maker. / l.. Ill try have never had truer friend than Cardinal Gibbons, and capital and labor
 have long looked to him as just and able arbiter.
 'I became personally acquainted with 1 Cardinal Gibbons when he was bishop
 of Richmond, and saw great deal oi
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
THE ONLY WAY.


 He was a very raw recruit. and partic- ularly stupid at that. The drill sergeant did not know what to do with him. He had tried patience, he had tried language; all in vain.
 'Squad-halt!" yelled the sergeant. The double rank of men obeyed, but the very raw recruit marched gaily on. "Fitzmooney!' shouted the sergeant tYus, sergint.' Did ye ever drive a donkey?' "Yus, sergint.'
 What did ye say to him when ye wanted i'm to stop?" ''I said Whoa, sergint'' 'Very well. Squad-tshun, By the right quick march! Lief, lef'. lef'! Squad-halt Whoa, Fitzmooneyr'-Lon don Tit-Bits.
 IN LOVE WITH LIFE. do not care to aviate, A birdman do not wish to be; Nor does the auto divers fate. In speed events, appeal to me.
 THE MIGGLES CURE. Do you ever hate yoursef?' "Sometimes.''
 What do you do then?" ''I think about Miggles."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
RUNNING BIRD SHOES

The unexpected happened in Mexico with ease and dispatch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
TRY IT.

TRY IT. The way is long,
 The weather's hot, But little song
 Will cheer your lot. EFFECTIVE METHOD. Do you suppose suffragettes ever look under their beds to see if 8 man is there?" se ''It isn't necessary. Before retiring they rehearse their speeches and if a burglar happens to be snooping around he loses no time in getting away"
 PHEW! It really is
 Too warm, I ween,
 To read a hook
 By Laura Jean.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06
THE MILLS OF THE GODS.

Bryan's Mill, Tex.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-06

2. F. Morgan and T. S. Millsap are the only authorized travelling repre- sentatives of The Age-Herald in us circulation department.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-12-10
Nationality of Euos,

Is 1t possible to tell the nationality
of an egg by inspection? The ques-
ton is raised in acute form by the evil
dence given by the prosecution of a
Lancashire, England, firm for selling
Russian eggs as Irish, which resulted
in acquittal. The experts varied, as
even experts will. One confidently
pronounced the eggs in question Rus
slams nearly five weeks DID, another
said they were second class Russians;
q third specified the south of Russia
On the other hand. experts for the
defense were equally positive that no
body could tell the birthplace of an
egg from external examination. One
witness said that when eggs were bad
their nationality was Understandable
On the whole, one is bound to come
to the conclusion that the average pur-
chaser of eggs must take their nation
atty upon trust.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-12-10

when a man is young, old men seem
TO be the burden of the world; when
he gets old he wonders why such
foolish youths exist.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-12-10

The fellow who says he doesn't know
the meaning Of the word fear might
look in the dictionary.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-12-10

We at least expect topper to have
sober second thoughts.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-12-10
PILES CITRED AT HOME BY
NEW ABSORPTION METHOD

If you suffer from bleeding, itching.
blind or protruding Piles, send me
our addl ess and / viii tell You how
cure yourself at home by the new
DESCRIPTION treatment; and will also
nd some of tn home treatment
rec for trial, with references from
our own locality, il requested. In
med ate relief and permanent cure as
'ured Send no money, but tell o h.
rs Of this Offer. Write today to Mrs.
NJ, Summers, Box P, Noue Dame. Ind
Interference is queer way of ex-
pressing sympathy.
Wealth that brags is never so big as
the bIag says it is.
It's the smart sayings of other peo-
PIE that sonnet mes make us smart.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-12-10

Interference is queer way of ex-
pressing sympathy.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-12-10

It's the smart sayings of other peo-
pie that sonnet mes make us smart.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-15
THE PELVIC SPECIALISTS nA,Kr l4s Co..
SCRIBES
WILL STACK UP AGAIN LAWYERS
SATURDAY
Members Of Blackstone Row Have the
Nerve 20 chalenro the Pencil
Pushors.

ZIG dHiure are promised co. tho Island
harci fl4 UUrk on SATURDAY Afternoon.
WHOM ~r1i ban team u1I. up OF law
yers ~ This CITY viii srdeavur Co Snow
ffc crack InfClliEeurrr frar what tfe,.
know about the national game. The
harrist"rs. after thinking the matter
over Tor several weeks. have ~ last mus
tcf'd uF enough cournEs 90 answer Tire
intelligence huuCus Wide Challenge. and
OBJ 30 there VIII DO "a record breaking
crowd iu afffrNlure goo. without say
lug. The outcome o. practically settled
row. f." ouir thing remaining lu doubt
"fINg fuef InW mnrF scores will ha
rHIIr. uu hF fne INTEL ball foeecra The
gam. VIII lr started 30 o'clock ana
viI gr tIn limit An aurorr1-.rr .
O. no VIII add interest ft fhc game was
l-I..' efnrI 49, 200 f.e .rnrt that Fred
NsHfN NI' .cHrr .ou over lfI. grand
f|"II Cor f.. Hfufa while judge Viii
nInsf Ilkelr wnUa behind f.e ARTILLERY.
hrrrIurnfn. twirler ~ some renop n
fr.f1 Eew Auwk. W'li rrHre ito rubber
f.r tr ln'oiiq while "iiycl" Noito will
lu fhn receiving