davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bisbee daily review., 1911-11-26
'7Xk lpU7Y 'pNk~ ~MXl
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.niter n1lect them aeeounts. 7

gotter ellect them accounts"
 "Yessir.' agreed Hiram. wisely nod. ding his dead. i've eotter do it--that's what you said yistiddy, sir. How be We a-goin 10 do it. sir" How be we goin' to do it?" sareas tically repeated Mir. Gooble "Plaggone it. ef I i1nowed that, do you reckon Id be askin' you fer advice. allowed as mebbe you had some scheme for"
 "Me?" interrupted Hiram in a tone of incredalous amazement. Gosh ding, Why. boss. l dunno nawthin' about it tall excepiin' what
 Nov, Tfi." cut in Mir. Gooble. you locke here, Here's all this money tied up in book accounts what's plumb good. ever one of 'em. but they jest won't pay. I've writ 'em an I've writ 'em, an I've talked to 'em ontii ever tooth in my head is rattlini. but they sticks to their money wusser'n a cuekleburr to a hoss. Now. I've thought it an out: l want that money, an you've been wantin' raise in yore salary. an when von fieSer out . way git that coin nj be plumb tiekefd to give you that raise. So it's you to gil 3 hustle on. See2"
 But. boss. feAposihiateY tlFaHi, "t---
 Hi" chunkled his employer. turn. ing back to his desk with a grin. you better go deliver Mis- Deasley's coal ile."
 Hiram waved his arms exeitedly Now. boss. he began, femme tell you--'
 Hiram" sharply broke in his em- ployer for moment, then. picking up Mrs. Beasley's coal oil can. he stalked out of the store.
 The next day al noon Hiram, rush inf into the store from his dinner. took his surprised employer by the arm and led that wondering gentleman far back into corner oi the room behinl the potato bin. Boss" he whispered excitedly. I've got il, by ding,7
 Following uD the dazed MT. Gooblc who was backing ava in some alarm, Hiram launched into an excited .ex planation of his scheme
 AIr. GoOble. calming down. listened attentiyely and somewhat skepiically.
 Where die git all that doPe?' he grunted distrustfully.
 You know that advcrtisin' Teller
Bisbee daily review., 1911-11-26

dressed up better'n l was. Reckon ne forgot the clothes he had on belong to me, Deacon Whipple has had the money to pay this bill, cause he bought his darter Sal a parlor organ from a mail order house an he sent inc cash to git 1t, an he bought
 There was a stir in the crowd and tall. elderly man with a iong nose and reddish unclipped beard strode angriIy towards the stand. This ap- neared to be Deacon Whipple, and there was blood in the deacon's eye.
 Here, you Si Gooble,' he Oawled wrathfully, what dye mean by run in down my character that wayE Consarn ve. I come twelve miles 10 day a-purpose fer to pay ye that bill. an here ye air a-blackguardin' me afore the hull township! What dye
 Now. deacon" sweetiy cut Tn MT. Cooble. don't you go an fret yourself the truth is a moughty good thinE sometimes. et it does plnch bh' An you might as well calm down, cause you won't have 10 fight nobody to git 10 pay yore bill; just step np here on the platform an Hiram II take wore money an be tickled aii over to git it.
 .Ef there's any more of you out there what wants to pay me Wna' vou owe me" announced NIT. GooOie fo inc chrowd. just walk up here ali plunk down. The mourners bench i3 ouen fer you all As long as the light holds out to burn-you know the rest of the song. Don't be bashiul. now aint nobody goin 70 bite you.
Bisbee daily review., 1911-11-26
EOkAR0 6ZonEYER

Nineteen hundred an thutty-three dollars an seventeen cents, nnaie it. announced Silas 0ooble, wettins his pencil and laboriously making a sprawling figure 3 beneath the long column of figures before him. What do you git, Hi?"
 T reckon you're right. boss" re- piled Hiram. his lanky bookkeeser, and the chief clerk. delivery boy and man of all work at Goobie's General Store. squnting at his own figure GOV cred page, cause that's what l sit 10 a cent-nineteen. thEtty-three. seE. enteen'
 Mr. Gooble leaned back in his rick ety office chair and absently fingered his scraggly beard That's huli lot of money to have out in book ac- counts. Hiram" he remarked thought fuil
 aYesslr. 'tis that. sir. assented Hi ram
 "Ef had that in cash could dis count all my bills. Hiram. gloomiiy continued Mir. Gooble.
 "Yessir, l reckon you could, sir. Hiram knew very little about discount ing bflls but he knew from what Ar. Gooble's look that 1t was something to feel bad about, 90 his voice was pOrrespondingly gloomy.
 "Ef l Lad that money ] would raise yore salary. Hiram went on Mir. Coo Ble, meditatively chewing the end or his pencil
 '.Yessir. you could that, sir!' eX- cltlmed Hiram, his face Drightening joyfully at the prospect. This was a matter that Hiram did know something about, and the very thought Of such thing immediately raised his spirus several degrees lie srinned contem- rldtively and cleared his throat as if to speak further. but the weight of his feelings overcame him, and he iapsed into silence again.
 Mir. Gooble sat upright in hls chair and began turning the leaves of the ledger which lay before him. He grunted despOndently several times as his eyes rested upon pages full Of long closely written accounts. This survey Of the graveyard ol his cash capital evidently brought him no pleasant memories. for he soon slammed the book shut with a groan.
 Hi" he said with conviction, we
Bisbee daily review., 1911-11-26

While Hiram was writing the dea- cons receipt Mir. Goobie reached into the box and brought out another pa- per. Before. unfolding it he glanced behind him. Half dczen sheepish looking men were climbing the plat form steps. pocketbooks in hand Mir. Gooble heaved a mighty sigh of re lief: the scheme was working.
 The next gent On the docket" he announced. is Sam Hickey, the hoss tlader: fifty-three dollars for grocer ies. IL shOfely seems to me after kept Sam, Hickey's fambly from starvin' To 'death for three months he ort to be wiIlin' to pay fer the grub. I'll just tell you few things"
 The treatened disclosures were cut short by a sudden commotion in the crowd. A big. burly man with q wide brimmed white felt hat pushed far hack on his perspiring forehead scrambled furioEsly over the people nearest him in a frantic effort to reach the platform. his biz fists doubling and undoubtling spasmodically as he ad- Nanced
 You will. will yer?" he clustered.
 You'll tell a few things. will yer2 You bald-headed old peckerwoodi I'll show you ef you kin talk about me that wayi Lemme by there, Git outen the way! Lemme at him"
 Tins was MT Collins cue. Slipping silently from his seat he was waiting at the boftoia Of the platform steps when the angry Mir. Hickey made his tempestous arrival MT Collins said nothing al all--he just grinned MT Hickey found his way suddenly barred by the stocky little pugilist and he
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
FOR COUNTRYWIDE MOVE
Foes of tuberculosis Have Plan to
Use Most Powerful Weapon
on Earth.

April 80 has been set aside this year
as Tuberculosis Day" and will be OBJ
served in 100000 churches in the
country in a manner similar to that
OF tuberculosis Sunday" in 1910,
when 10000 sermons were preached
on the prevention of tuberculosis. In
the first official announcement of the
occasion, made by the National Asso-
citation for the Study and Prevention
of tuberculosis, the leaders of the
movement state that they hope to en-
list all of the 100000 church men,
bers in the country.
In one respect tuberculosis day will
differ from tuberculosis Sunday Of
1910 Instead of requesting the
churches to give to the tuberculosis
cause a special Sunday service, the
national association is going to ask
this year that meetings, at which the
subject of tuberculosis and it's pre-
vention can be discussed, be held on
Sunday, April 80, or on any other day
near that date, either in the week
preceding or the week following
What we want" says Mr.. Living
ston Farrand, executive secretary Of
the National Association for the Study
and Prevention of tuberculosis, in q
report on this movement, lis to have
this whole subject Of tuberculosis dis
cussed in all Of the 100000 churches.
of the United States at as nearly the
same time as possible"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
Discovery OF TUo Statesmen

walk up TO the bar, to be confronted
on the instant by typical old uncle, +"
well night coal black of complexion If
it were summer that uncle" without
a word Of instruction, would proceed
forthwith to create two mint juIeps. If
it were winter, he would prepare two
hot apple toddies. The mint juleDs
he would place before the senators
without a word; the toddies with the
injunction. respectfully put, that not
more than two glasses of it would be
good for any man DESTROYS of retain
ing full possession of his faculties
And then, whichever drink it happened
to be, the two senators would silently
consume it with every evidence of out
ward and inward delight, as silently
settle the score, and as quietly and
contentedly go out upon the highway
again
1t was a habit that resulted from
the accidental discovery on the part of
one of the senators that the uncle" in
that particular dingy and unattractive-
ly located bar room was a master in
the art of connecting mint juleps and
hot apple toddies, and thereafter they
rarely missed being DAILY customers of
his when they were both in Washing
ton. 1t was habit, too, that Senator
PendletOn tried to fastnn upon his
colleague, Allen G. Thurman, who ran
unsuccessfully for Tice-president in
1888.
Senator Thurman" the father of
the first federal civil service bill asked
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
Kalamazoo Celery Soil.

The Kalamazoo soil is a muck-dark
in color, loose and moist Drainage
is secured by means Of open bitches
and in much Of this land the water
level in only two feet below the sur
face, says the Michigan Farmer. The
plants are set in the surface soil, of
course, and not in trenches after the
laborious manner Of those who grow
celery in dry land. All the conditions
are favorable to the crop. 1t is this
IL at has made Kalamazoo a celery
town. The land varies in price from
$500 an acre down to $500. Three
acres of land, a residence, small pack
ing house, greenhouse, stable, ETC. a
wife and a few children Of working
age give an enviable independence.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
NOTICING WHAT ONE SEES
The Principle of the Pendulum. s,o-
gested to Calico by Simple
Incident.

Another very beautiful example of
the way in which some of the most
valuable truths Of philosophy have
been suggested for the first time by
the simplest incidents of common life
is afforded by GaliIeo's discovery Of
the regularity of oscillation in the
pendulum.
1t was while standing one day in the
Metropolitan church at Pisa that his
attention was first awakened to this
important fact by observing the move
ments of lamp suspended from the
ceiling, while some accident had dis
turbed and caused to vibrate. Now
this, or something exactly similar, was
a phenomenon which, of course, every
one had observed thousands Of times
before. But yet nobody had ever view
ed it with the philosophic attention
with which it was on this occasion ex-
amined by Calico. Or if, as possibly
was the case, anyone had been half
unconsciously struck for moment by
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
Many GARAGES.

What word in the English language
has the most synonyms" asked the
seeker after knowledge, as he fshed
for bit of lemon peel in the bottom
of his glass.
The word drunk " replied the bar
tender, unhesitatingly.
"Um," unused the seeker after knowl-
edge. There's intoxicated. inebriated,
tight, fulI-er-what else?"
How about soused?" asked the bar
tender. Whats the matter with pick
led? Have you never been pie-eyed ?
Many a fellow goes home paralyzed.
Also Jagged. Stewed describes the
condition Of some. What's the matter
with spiflicated? Some fellows get
barreled and some never stop till they
are tanked. Orie-eyed is still another
condition. Some merely get lit up. and
others get boozed. Others are half
shot, three sheets in the wind, loaded,
keyed up, elevated, fricasseed, lubri-
Gated, and then some"
I'll take your word for the rest" re-
piled the seeker after knowledge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
Alfalfa in Aruentine,

Alfalfa is principally valuable for
fattening purposes in Argentine. All
animals destined for the freezing
works are now finished on alfalfa,
Estancias which do not have their
own tracts send their cattle for fat
tening to other pastures. Fattening
with corn is as yet practically I'M
known, but it is commencing on a
small scale on some of the most pro
gressive estancias, and probably-is des
tined to become general in future.
Argentine beef is not regarded as
highly in the English market, as that
from the United States, and sells for
a trif1e less. The difference is said
to be due largely to the difference in
the method of fattening. Beef from
the United States is fattened on corn,
whereas Argentine depends upon al
falfa solely. The present demand of the
freezing works for a higher grade of
animal means inevitably that corn fat
tening must be undertaken, and there
is no reason why it should not be,
as the country raises an abundant
amount of corn for export.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
HANDY IMPLEMENT ON ROADS
May Be Considered Distinct Improve
ment Over Split Log Drag and
HarroW-Us efuI on Farm.

We recently visited a model farm
and one of the most attractive fea-
lures about it was the condition in
which the roads, both on the farm and
the adjacent highway, were kept by
use of the split-1og drag. This is a
matter of real economy, as well as of
good looks. A visit to another farm
showed a modified device which we
had never seen used elsewhere, and
which is the invention of the owner.
1t is so effective that a drawing of it
is shown herewith. 1t is really a com
bination Of harrow and split log drag.
The harrow teeth are attached in such
manner that they can be let down
and the implement used as a harrow
only, or the teeth can be raised and
the implement used as a drag only.
Ii the teeth are set level with the bot
tom OF the drag, it forms an excellent
clod crusher, and its weight is such
That 1t can be nicely handled with an
ordinary farm team. There are GER
tam roads which require a good deal
OF whipping into shape before they be-
come good dirt roads. This work can
be done by a split log drag if time is
taken for it, says the Kansas Farmer.
1t can be done more readily by the
combination implement illustrated
herewith, as will be shown on trial.
AS this implement has a value in
the field that is equalled by that on
the road, it may be considered a dis
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
Hugh Mccullough Used 20 Travel for
Many Miles on Horseback With
His SaddIebags Stuffed
With Money,

The man who was confronted with
and successfully solved the serious
problem of paying off the Union
troops at the close Of the Civil war
was Hugh Mccullough of Indiana.
then secretary of the treasury, a post
which he held until 1859, and again
resumed in 1884 for a few months.
He, also, was our first comptroller of
the currency, taking that position in
1863; and altogether his record as a
ffnancier in the government service
ranks exceedingly high. Yet his edu-
cation in financial matters were
gained in the backwoods
1t was not until 1849 that the first
survey was made for a railroad west
of Pittsburg. Sixteen years previous
ly Hugh Mccullough moved to the
little town of Fort Wayne, Ind, from
down east and began the practice of
law. Four years before the first rail-
road surveyors started out from
Pittsburg westward he became mana
ger of branch of the State Bank of
Indiana, and from then on until he
was made comptroller of the curren-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
F 1A1l I (
e. r. MOI Is

We can save a lot of time and work
next summer by carefully planning
now.
Going to raise third crop Of corn
on the same land next year? Great
mistake.
Protect the pastures, which should
he a feature Of considerable import
ance on any farm.
Tt is a very easy matter to protect
the pastures if the sod is not per-
mitted to become thin.
Great fun chopping down the use
less live trees and chopping the dead
ones on the ground.
The woodpile ought to be growing
daily now. Saving wood in the sum-
mer time is a tough and useless job.
Any backyard 40x50 feet with de-
cent soil can be made to yield enough
summer vegetables to supply fam
lily of six
Feed cattle all you can afford to
during the time they are at pasture,
as that helps to keep the pastures In
good condition.
If your neighbor casts longing eye
on vour best brood mare be sure she
is worth as much to you as to MIN
and hang on to her.
Taking one year with another, on
ions viii prove most profitable crop.
they are in demand in the markets
everv month in the year.
Poultry house manure is wonder
f,1 thing for the garden, but it should
not he applied in the hill, or it VIII
burn the roots of the plants.
The time TO clean seed wheat is in
tho winter. We will have time to do
a better Job then than the day before
we commence sowing in the spring.
Some men have the idea that a man
can make a good hand on the farm
If he is big, husky and active without
having learned the business, but it is
great mistake.
Lima Beans do not require very
rich soil and are easily grown.
When the pastures get short in the
summer feed some oil meal, besides
some green food, such as corn stalks.
The meal especially benefits the pas
lures in the droppings of cattle
Celery must have deep, mellow and
very rich soil. 1t is useless to buy
plants and spend money and time in
planting and working the crop unless
the first conditions are fully met
It is claimed that 1t will take seven
pounds of skim-milk to equal one
pound of lean beef for flesh forming
qualities.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
Painted While Asleep

It is the craze of the pretty ladies
Of the Tiergartenstrasse's plutocrat
society to be painted white asleep,
writes a Berlin correspondent. The
Austrian Countess Cziyek started the
bright idea. The weil-known portrait
ist who had given her an appointment
for the sitting has the vicious habit
of making you wait Tired OF turning
over French novels in an antecham-
Der, the beautiful countess fell asleep
At last the pTocraslinating artist turn
ed up.
Entranced by the unexpected vision
of sleeping Beauty he threw off a
lightning sketch and as the countess
awoke held it before her ast0niShed
eyes. The drawing was SO dainty and
seductive that the delighted sitter in
sisted upon complete oil portrait
painted while she simulated sleep
painted while she simulated sleep.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
EASY CHANGE
When Coffee Is Doing Harm,

A lady writes from the lard of cot
ton Of the results Of four years use
Of the food beyerage-hot Postum.
Ever since can remember we had
used coffee three times a day. 1t had
a more or less injurious effect upon
US all, and 1 myself suffered almost
death from indigestion and nervous
ness caused by It.
y know it was that, because when
I would leave it off for a few days
would feel better But Il was hard to
give it up, even though I realized how
harmful it was to ne
AT last / found perfectly easy
way to make the change. -Four years
ago l abandoned the coffee habit and
began to drink Postum. and | also in
fluenced the rest of the family 70 do
the same Even the children are al
lowed to drink it freely as they do
water. And it has done US ali great
good.
81 no longer suffer from Indigestion,
and my nerves are in admirable tone
since 1 began to use Postum. We
never use the old coffee any more.
I'VE appreciate Postum BIS q de-
lghtful and healthful beverage, which
not only invigorates but supplies the
best OF nourishment as well" Name
given by Postum Co., Battle Creek,
Mich
Read "The Road to Wellyille,' in
pkgs. There's a Reason"
Ever read the above letter? new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full OF homan
interest.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
certain powder which he provided to

a certain powder which he provided to
be taken after eac hmeal.
Next day DR.. was called on
the telephone.
Say, Mistah Doctah," said a voice,
Use done lost nah dessert-spoon an
there sho' amt annoder in de house.
What am l gwine do, please?"
20, take a little on half dollar"
answered the doctor, and he hung I'D
the receiver.
The physician was called hurriedly
| that night to the residence of his pa-
tient. He found the darkie rocking to
and fro in chair, abject despair de-
| picted on her face. "Fo' de Iawd. doc
| tab she walled. q codden't find a
| half dollar and done took whole one
wiz nah medicin'. Now dat misery
keeps no gettin wusser and wusser.
and. what am wusser yet. dat dollar
walnut nah dollar, nohowr-PhiIadel.
| phia Times.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-02-02
How Senators PendIeton and Bayard
Found Perfect Juleps and Toddies
in Dingy Little Saloon in
Washington.

In the congress which was in ses-
sion during the latter half Of the
Hayes administration, as well as in
the congresses that held until 1885,
there were two members of the senate
who were especially distinguished for
courtliness, for dignity, for conscienti-
Gus devotion to all the conventional
ties Of conduct which identify the pol
ished gentleman. One of these sena-
tors was so greatly distinguished for
these personal qualities that he be-
came widely known by the soubriquet
of Gentleman George" as early as
1864, when he ran as the tail Of the
Mcclellan presidential ticket. The
other was bred to all the traditions
and c0nyentionalities which especially
mark the cultivated men of the south.
It was said Of him that there was no
man in Washington who offered a
guest q glass of whisky with more gra-
ciOus dignity than he.
Both of these senators afterwards
became United States representatives
abroad, one our minister to Germany,
the other our first ambassador to the
court Of St James, and he also served
as secretary of state in Cleveland's
first administration. Yet notwith-
standing the high repute that George
H. Pendleton of Ohio and Thomas F
Bayard of Delaware enjoyed as states
men and as polished gentlemen, they
did not disdain openly to visit together
day after day a common type Of saloon
that stood upon the fringe of what
was then known as "the Division" a
district of the national capital now
wiped out by Improvements, which in
its characteristics correspondent to the
once notorious Tenderloin of New
York city.
Let the senate adjourn an hour or
two before the dinner hour, and almost
invariably the two friends would ad-
dress each other with the utmost court
illness, and then proceed to walk in
their most dignified manner down
Pennsylvania avenue Leisurely, they
would negotiate the avenue until they
were about three blocks from the treas
ury building, when they would halt
as though by tacit understanding.
Then they would cross the avenue
with the same digniGed step and a
moment or two later enter a bar room
with dingy front and a most unattrac-
tive environment There they would
remain selfimmured for perhaps a
quarter of an hour, then regain the
avenue, and, setting their faces
towards the northwest residential sec
ton of the capital, take their way
thither with all the stateIiness at their
command.
Why did those two famous states
men and typical gentlemen frequent
that dingy bar room? Bowling each
other through the entrance, they would