davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
JAYHAWKER JOTS

The principal business of the Queen
Of May nowadays, says the Hutchinson
Gazette, is to get the dust out of the
parlor rug.
A generous man may ride alone in a
large touring car, says the Mcpherson
Republican, but he can't look the part
while doing it.
We are living so fast in this age, says
the Ottawa Herald, that there are no
longer such things as walks in life''
They are all runs.
At the rate congress is going, says
the LeavenWorth Times, the high cost
of investigating is likely to trouble the
country as much as the high cost of
living.
1t is said that twenty million persons
smoked Missouri corncob pipes last
year, notes the Burr Oak Herald, and it
adds: And half of them borrowed the
tobacco"
Why not abolish the umpire and have
direct decisions by the people at base
ball games? asks the Mound Valley
Herald. Is there no progressiveness in
baseballdom?
Blue is said to be the strongest eye
and gray the next, says the Mound
Valley Herald. Yet when it comes to
enabling a man to see double. "red
eye" has them both beaten out of
sight.
A difference as noticed by the Hutch
inson Gazette: In the old days the
Supplemented children used May 1 to
wander in the woods seeking posieS,
but now the sophisticated youth rum
mage the streets for cigarette pictures.
You may have some difficulty catch :
ing bird by putting salt on it's tail.
says the Chanute Tribune, but YOU can
Kill dandelion with salt every time.
Who's next? Neodesha reports a
forty pound catfish caught in the Fall
river.
A hunting casualty as reported by the
Burr Oak Herald: A rich farmer lfv-
ing near Soldier crawled through a
barbed wire fence and pulled his gun
after him by the muzzle. The rabbits
in the garden don't bother him any
more.
Uncle Cy Leland seems to be as
clever at hog-raising as he is, or was.
at politics, as the following item in the
Troy Chief testifies:
Last year Cyrus Leland raised and
sold between eleven and twelve humid
red hogs on his farms in this comfy.
Putting their weight at a conservative
ngure those hogs brought on an aver
age SIS a piece. Say there were a
thousand of them that averaged s15
piece, that means $4,000 for his
crop of hogs. Those hogs were most
ly raised on alfalfa and finished up on
corn Mr.. Leland certainly has the
hog raising business down to a system.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
QUAKER MEDITATIONs.

From the Philadelphia Record
silver lining in the pocket is
worth two in the clouds.
half-hearted kick, as a rule.
merely results in stubbed toe.
Talk is cheap, but even at that IT
may be nightly expensive in the end.
Many a hot proposition demon
strates that all that glitters isn't cold.
The people who don't know right
from wrong are generally in the
wrong.
The earth was created for man. SO
1t Is quite natural that he should be
out for the dust.
Joan of Arc wore a coat of mail,
out the modern woman wants to wear
his trousers too.
About the rarest thing in the world
Is small boy who looks happy when
he is dressed up.
Doctor (engaging boy)-"What is
your manner" Boy-'William. sir. but
they call me Bill" Doctor-"Pm
AFRAID you are rather small for a doc
Blobbs-"The money young Mill
yun's rather left him won't last long. -
Why, is he such a snender 9,'
Blobbs-"Spender. WHY. do Yc,, Lnou,
what that fellow is doing? Hes ac-
tually paying his income tax
How do you like the refrain of INV
new song?' asked the youthful con-.
poser Great" exclaimed the long
suffering friend. you should sticL fo
refrains. In fact, if you were 70 re-
Train entirely the public would -,
refuge in flight. ''' =
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
FULL MEASURE WET OR DRY.

Mr.. Eugene Gollup who won the
second prize in the worlds Work ed
vocational contest writes:
Instead of requiring stereotyped
uniformity and stagnation, the teacher
of tomorrow will encourage multi
formity and inventiveness. He will
teach boys. not partial payments"
He will teach boys the meaning of
"denominate numbers by letting
them work with quarts and pecks, not
by verbal drumming in of the "dry
measure" How many of my readers
can tell me which is right-"4 quarts
make 1 peck" or "a pecks make one
quartz" I myself do not know, yet I
have drummed at dry measure" for
many a long spring morning. Let the
children measure several quarts and
pecks of sand, let them accumulate
fortunes in sawdust, and 1 warrant
they will never forget dry measure"
Let them learn to love the fair and
square deal at school; let them get
into the habit of giving full measure
to everybody before they leave
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
AMENDMENTS WILL KILL 1T.

Answering the criticism that their
stand against the Canadian reciprocity
bill is unusual to say the least, the
several Republican-insurgen United
States senators in that position have
declared either that they feared it
would affect the interests of their agri-
cultural constituents, or that their OPP
position was not so much to the reci-
procity plan as it was against the de-
tails of it. They claim it doesn't go
far enough, and that there should be
free trade with Canada in many more
things than those specified in the
measure They intend to press these
amendments accordingly on the floor
of the senate.
If any of these amendments prevail
they will have the effect, in all prob
ability, Of killing these reciprocity ne
gotiations with Canada. In one of his
recent speeches on the subject Presi-
dent Taft announced that il the pre-
liminary negotiations with the Cana
dian officials, a willingness had been
expressed on his part to have absolute
free trade on every article and COM
modify of trade and comm cree between
Canada and the United States. But
the Canadian representatives express
ed the opinion that this was going
further than their government would
likely care to go at this time. So the
present reciprocity bill was agreed to
as being the best compromise measure
that could be drafted and which would
stand a chance of being ratified both
by the Canadian parliament and the
United States congress.
If this bill is amended in any ma
terial particulars by the senate and
the amendments are accepted by the
house, it will mean more extended
conferences on the part o. representa-
tives of the United States and Canada
Then the Canadian parliament might
be encouraged to stick in a few
amendments. This would necessitate
the bill being submitted again to the
United States congress. More amend
ments might be inserted there, or per-
Ihaps it would not be acceptable in its
amended form to the Democratic
lhouse of representatives. And by the
time the bill was finally fixed up. con.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.

CFrom the Chicago News.1
Contented people are never conten-
tious.
public Office sometimes looks like
a private trust.
No, Cordelia, not all methodical
people are methodists.
Nothing takes the starch out of a
stuckup girl like an unexpected kies.
Even at that your neighbors know a
lot about you that they never tell
When an otherwise sane man
spends the day fishing he thinks that
he's a sport.
A woman likes to wash her hair SO
that she can read the last chapter of
a novel while drying it.
But if a man has the right kind of
a wife he seldom has occasion to find
fault with his mother-in-law.
Every time a girl meets a bachelor
she imagines he would propose to her
if she gave him half a chance
People who are always talking
about their achievements would be
more interesting If they would only
talk about ours.
1t sometimes happens that the more
a woman considers a man during
courtship the less consideration she
has for him after marriage.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
AN TNJUsTICE RICHTED.

An instance of the fact that over
zealousness on the part of public au-
thorities in pressing cases against
railroads, and lack of care in the pre-
paration of those cases, is likely to ac-
complish nothing more than injure
the good reputation of such corpora
tons for the time being has just come
to the front in the dismissal of a ten
count Indictment charging rebating
against the Santa Fe which has been
in the federal courts of California for
three years. The railroad company
was charged with giving rebates to
the Grand Canyon Lime and Cement
company because of adjustments it
made in freight charges on car load
lots of lime and cement. 1t was
charged that these adjustments were
a lower charge for certain carload
lots than the published tariff for this
class of freight which was alleged to
he $40 ton per carload of 10000
pounds.
This suit for rebating was brought
quite time after the original crusade
in this country against rebating on the
part of the railroads, and after it had
been announced by all of the railroads
that there would be no such thing as
rebating in the future. And when this
suit was instituted there was much
unfavorable comment directed against
the Santa Fe. 1t was charged that
the company was not sincere in it's
protestations that rebating was
thing of the past and that it. was up
to its old tricks. But when this suit
came up for final disposition some
days ago it was pointed out by the
railroad company that the $40 a car
rate which the prosecution insisted
was the regular freight rate, and on
which the indictment was based. was
as a matter of fact not the published
rate, or the rate charged. The actual
rate was $3.50 a ton, and in some in
stances this would make the charge
for a carload over $40 and in some
circumstances below. On the estab-
lishment of this fact the trial judge in
structed the jury to bring in a verdict
of not guilty. 1t is presumed that had
the fact been presented to the grand
jury that the rate was $3.50 a ton and
not $40 car load no indictment
would have been returned.
However, this important fact was
overlooked by the prosecuting author
tiles. The Santa Fe was indicted for
rebating and has been under the stig-
ma of that indictment for three long
years. There was undoubtedly no in
tention to do the railroad an injustice
but that is the way it worked out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison Globe !

lFrom the Atchison Globe
When a man begins to look into the
future he sees SO much that isn't there
Some men are such good mixers
that 1t is hard for them to get any
useful work done.
A garden spot won't do much to re-
duce your living expenses unless you
cultivate it a good deal
Revenge may be sweet. but it is an
other OF those sweets that impair the
digestion a good deal.
1t might be well to bear in mind
that a sick person appreciates flowers
more than dead one does.
Parties are important to politicians
and society girls. but other people
shouldn't take them seriously.
Love isn't so blind that it hasn't
been known to shift its course when
better looking woman beckoned.
Our notion of extreme laziness is
carried out by any reasonably healthy
person who eats breakfast in bed.
Before telling your troubles to your
friend, rem ember that he probably has
enough of his own to keep him busy.
Men can't all understand women,
but there continue to be fair num-
Der of bachelors who are never caught.
Every boy regrets that. in the course
of events, so many good dogs are
spoiled by having women for their
owners.
Try to save enough money so you
! won't have to go back to the bush
leagues when you begin to get old and
worn out.
Friends may be divided into two
classes, but those who stay with you
until you begin to need them form the
larger class.
Do you sometimes doubt the posi-
bility of getting an honest opinion /?
Then listen to one expressed of an
other behind his back.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
HUAOR or THE Day

Doctor-Take this medicine after each
meal Patient-But my meals comes IN
reg lar. Doctor-Well, take it before each
meal.-Toledo Blade.
Miss Woodby-So Mr.. Smart said he
considered me very witty, eh? Miss
Know-Not exactly. He said he had To
laugh every time he saw you.-Catholic
Standard and Times
Il note that you employ a great many
quotations from the poets in your speech
es." Yes replied the orator. Inst
now in my district it is desirable to saw
as little as possible for which you can
ington Star.
Chillsome.-"I once proposed to a girl in
a conservatory. with what result? %
"a lot of expensive plants were ninnea
by frost. "-W ashington Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
AN OLD SONG REJuyENArED.


cannot wear the old hair
wore some months gone by.
I've laid 1t on the topmost shelf
With many a weary sigh.
NO longer are they wearing puffS,
And rats are quite de trop;
canot wear the old hair
Oh, what a cruel blow!
cannot wear the old hair,
For which good gold / paid.
Red hair is SO expensive when
One gets the proper shade.
felt so dreadful when it was coiffed,
All little puffs and curls;
But can't wear the old hair,
Alas for Fashions whirlsi
cannot wear the old hair,
Four switches must buy,
And wind them round and round my head,
As flat as they will lie.
My face is far too plump for this;
My nose Is much too long;
But can't wear the old hair,
It's altogether wrong.
-Lppincott's Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Often it's the case that the most
impressive speaker has the least to
say.
One drawback to the school of ex-
perience is that you can't graduate
from it until you die
\ y
An lmpossibility for any man: To
make last years straw hat look as
good as a new one.
\
If the average mans troubles were
as large as he imagines they are, he'd
soon be overwhelmed by them.
n
After all the normal life is the only
one worth while even if it does be-
come a trif1e monotonous at times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
A Real Snort

A little newsboy with a cigarette
IN ms mouth the other day entered a
West Side notion store and asked for
a match.
=, we do not keep matches; we sell
them, replied the woman behind the
counter.
city's future citizen.
"A penny a box was the answer
Gimme box" said the boy.
Taking the box of matches the how
opened it, took out match. lit his
clsarette, ana then handed the box
back to the storekeeper.
Here, take de box" he said. land
put 1T on de shelf. and when anodder
sport comes and asks for match. give
MIN one on me."-Milwaukee Free
Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

of representatives. No sooner had the
farmers free list bill been disposed of
than the statehood bill was taken up.
Under the leadership of Champ Clark
and Mr.. Underwood, the Democrats in
the house are making a record for
speed in the disposition of important
legislation that has never before been
equalled in any session of congress.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

The resurrection of Mrs. Mary
Baker G. Eddy, which has been pre-
dicted by Mrs. Stetson. is to be made
1oubly dlfhcuIt. Mrs. Eddy's body lies
in a mass of cement and this is to be
surmounted by one of the largest and
most magnificent monuments the
world has ever seen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.I

IFrom the New York Press.1
One disease that is incurable is
when a man is proud of his whiskers.
Some men seem to think they can
be a credit to society so long as they
stop short of murder.
A girl could be afraid a man would
kiss her in the dark if she knew he
wouldn't do it for million dollars.
Nearly everybody has a passion for
trying to teach something that he
himself hasn't learned yet
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

If President Bush of the Missouri
Pacific has never happened to travel
on 'the rocky road to Dublin" he will
experience something just as good"
in the parlance of the druggist, on the
tour of inspection of the M. P. lines
which he has undertaken.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

John Dawson. the states attorney
general, has gone after the big iabili-
ty and casualty companies doing bust
ness in Kansas on the charge that they
have formed an illegal combination to
regulate and maintain rates in this
state. There can be no doubt but
General Dawson will earn his paw.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

A young man who is in New York
city these days has walked 475,OOO
miles in three trips around the world
during the past thirteen years. And
about all he has to show for it is re-
ceipted bills for the four hundred
pairs of shoes he wore out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

The Chicago Tribune suggests as a
further relief to the travelling public
that the legislature of Illinois kindly
devise some plan for the suppression
Of the nocturnal guest whose loud
snoring keeps everybody else in the
hotel awake. This is a matter that
Dr. Crumbine might well look after
in Kansas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

A Massachusetts, clergyman seems to
have a rather poor idea as to what
constitutes a proper environment. He
has a parish of $50 souls. They wor-
ship in a small wooden structure and
pay him a salary of $1,000 a year. And
a stones throw from the church he
proposes to build $15O,OoO parson-
age
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

The three great branches of the
Methodist church are going to try and
effect a merger. That's laudable
ambition. But maybe the Sherman
antitrust law will stand in the way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

The same old story in the same old
way. Police and street car strikers
had a clash in Oklahoma City the 9TH
err night and an innocent bystander
was shot and seriously wounded.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal Is a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full day
felesvaph report of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka. -
The news Is received In The state jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

It will be just like those Boy Scouts
who are enthusiastically promoting a
''swat the fly campaign to CONNIE
their swatting operations to such bald
heads as they can take unawares
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

Those Cunningham Alaskan Coal
land claims are the Banquo's ghost OF
modern times. They will not down.
once more have they bobbed UP for
settlement.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

China's famous grand council,
which has ever governed that land in
an arbitrary fashion. has been abol-
ished. A constitutional cabinet of ten
members has been substituted. But
inasmuch as this new cabinet will be
dominated by the Prince Regent per-
haps the reform in government will
not be as momentous as II sounds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
81
tk..7:ls5

After a long vacation, Ponce. our
trusted contributor, comes in with
news item from his locality. HIS rail-
ure to give names and dates, proves
concIusively that he is not newspa-
per man. but the pathos of his story
is in no way abridged by ms omis-
sion. Kindly observe thar he does not
mention his hated rival, McArtnur, IN
this communication:
"a young man from New York,
westward bound for Dame For
tune, stepped off train in a
small Kansas town. He leisurely
examined the unbroken expanse
of prairie about him and spat re-
fiectiveIy The village cop got
busy. "Cut that out. No splitting
on walks in Kansas" The young
man begged his pardon and see
ing an Ice water cooler in the
station he approached it and as
no cup was visible he asked the
agent for one. He was frozen
with a look of pity. 'Kansas." he
said laconically. the young man
fumbled in his pockets and drew
forth a box of cigarettes. The
agent shook his head and pointed
at a sign on the wall. The young
man muttered a swear word be-
meath his breath. The cop got
busy again. The young man wilted
and hastily mounting the train he
called for, drink. Then he
tainted PONCE.
FORECAST. (Conservative.)
oh. frabjous joyl Sweet Spring has
come (perhaps),
And we may take 'em off,-those
leavy-weights;
A gamblers bet there'll be no chilly
snaps.
But far be it from US to buck the
Fates
And so, in closing, we desire to say;
DON'T FILE YOUR WINTER ONES
AWAY"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10
KANSAS COANENT
ATTEND TO THE sIGNBoARDs.


The new Kansas road law provides
for guide board at the forks of every
state and county road in the state, d..
recting the way and naming the near
est town on such roads. How nice
plan it would be If such an easy plan
could be adopted. to direct the r1gnl
road to the young man and the young
woman, just starting on the journey OF
life? Rather how much better 1t would
be if they would heed the direction on
the signboards placed before them as
the traveller will be directed by the
signboards at the forks of the ROAD.
Every school and every teacher is g.
signboard to show the right road to the
inexperienced young traveler-yet many
go astray. Every church and every
preacher is stationed at the forks OF
the road to warn the unsuSpecting from
starting down the left hand road-yet
many, so many, heed not the warning
and go on until they get into nire up
to their necks. Every newspaper ana
every editor is a signboard, constantly
on the job, at every crossing and every
pleading with the inexperienced travel
er to be sure to take the right road,
and thus escape the pitfalls and wash
outs that cannot be escaped when once
he or she has entered the slippery left
hand road. Strange as it may seem.
the warning on the signboard provided
by the law Of the state will be needed
While many will not profit by the hu-
man sentinels who seek to direct mex
per1enced and unwary travellers in the
beginning of their journey through
life. They must explore the other road.
-Concordia Kansan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

This is also the season of the year
for forest fires and they do not seem
to have been at all backward in put
ting in an appearance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

The Topeka baseball club has had
It's troubles but there is some consola-
ton in the fact that a poor beginning
NAV have a good ending.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

It won't be many days now before
the Detroit team will have the Ameri-
can league pennant for 1911 cinched
and hog-tied.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

Solitary confinement. with bread
and water and little ground glass on
the side, would be proper punishment
for those vandals who are carving
their initials in the trees in the city
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

Again Topeka has demonstrated to
the government that this is busy,
wide awake, hustling city. A gain of
almost s., 400 was made last month in
postal receipts over the corresponding
months a year ago. Yet this boost of
Uncle Sans business doesn't change
federal census reports which give To-
peka less than 10000 population.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-10

By the time the dove Of peace finally
gets nest built in Mexico it is not
likely that she will have many feathers
IAff