The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-10

mo. says l. 'Yorn be surprised,
/ says, how well yer can get along
without IT, says /, me not havin'
looked COW in the face in so long I'd
forgot whether It was animal or veg
etable,
"Oh, says he, an he ct In silence
while he thought II out, DO yer ever
have any company out here?' he says,
after awhile.
Sure, says |. The best in the
world, | says. Me- An | lighted
me pipe with that degree Of superior
ity which is natural with the most
imminent citizen, one Of whom was
which, as il were.
But who do you talk to?' he
says
Talk to- says l. I talk to meself,
whin l have time to stop an listen,
| says.
An thin he had to think that out.
He had lot of things to think out
after that / had to do It meself.
Despite these splindid intellectual ex-
erclses me brother didn't seem happy,
an. faith, / didn't blame him at that,
poor lad Yer see, there wasn't a
thing to do but work, an nothin' to
see but miles an miles of prairie,
an nothin to eat but corn bread an
SOW belly, an nothin to drink but
water. an we had to haul that five
miles an IL tasted like a mortal
sin. That's the sort of a place Kan.
sas Is, or was.
"Once or twice me brother kicked
over the traces, an declared he was
goin' back to New Jersey-an yer
know a man must be desprit whin
he says a thing like that. Thin he
was that discontint that he refused
to work That was a vital conse-
uuence. But | got around it, be me
notorious diplomacy. l discovered
that a belt in the jaw had a prodi-
gious conciliatory effect, an made
him more peaceful an contint like.
An, besides, It give him an ambition
to work which was quite sumptuous.
II had planted some corn, an that's
all that ever happened to that corn.
So one day I was tryin' to coax It out
of the ground, it being that reluctant
an shy an backward that it was
ashamed to show its face in Kansas
an l don't blame it-so I dug up
some of it to see if It was still there.
1t was. For ALL know, it's there
yet. Anyhow, l never saw hair or
hide of it,
Anyway I was out where the corn
could be if it had a mind, whin me
brother came runnin' up from an
other part of me sumptuous estate.
He was excited, an his eyes was
sparklin' an l knew there must be
something doin'
Perhaps says I, to meself, l says,
perhaps he has discovered a blade of
corn, | says 4 dunno Yer see ! was
prepared of anything.
Sunset says he, pantin', an his
eyes afire, there's something over
there beyant the hillock,' says he,
that looks like a cross between COW
an a rhinoceros,' he says.
Pooh, pooh says I Me lad,
yer've bin drinkin',' says, airily. It's
the boss I says.
"Yer burned fool says he, 4 was
plowin' the hoss whin it came along,
he says. an the hoss h'isted his tail
an wint to glory, plow an ALL says
he, an | rechn be this time he's
plowed furrow all the way to Gin
cinnati,' he says.
Then | saw as how it behooved me
to get up an open a Jackpot or
something, for that boss stood be-
tween me an starvation. If the claim
didn't develop | might have to eat
that hoss So I scuttled across with
me brother to get a look Be the
shades of st. Patrick it was buffalo
"a buffalo with buff all over him.
He was chewin' up all me tomato
vines-thim vines I had raised be
hand as it we're, an considered me
brothers and sisters.
"'Shoo, says !, to the buffalo. 'Shoo,'
I says, or I'll come over there an
kick hole in yer says I.
He looked up at me with me to-
mato vines a-meanderin' out of his
mouth, an snorted. If | didn't fall
dead, the Lord knows it wasn't be-
cause I wasn't expectin' to- Never
having had any speakin' acquaintance