The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-09-05


you'll rnYsrr os; THEN y
slang: you mustn't smoke and you
mustn't drink ~
Heavens! Arc these people as lnhu.
man MS NIL thntY y y !,
Worse. than that It might be IA
tai II you were ever seen In the hotel
bar. And. to begin with. you must
refuse Authorizations aof any sort.
whether &c. dances. parties. church So
cables or even Sunday dinners"
"Why Sunday, dinners;"
I. Because Sundays the only day
you'll be invited. Dinner on weekdays
IS from IL TO 1890, and it's strictly n
business matter. no time for guests.
But you needn't fret. They won't ask
you till they've sized you up pretty
carefully"
"OhT
Moreover. you must be very par.
ticulnr about your dress. It must be
absolutely faultless. but very qniet.
Clothing sober. dark Grays and blacks
and plain. but the very last word rs
to cut and lit. And everything must
be in keeping. the very best Of shirts.
collars. ties. hats. socks, shoes. under.
wear Kellogg caught Duncan's
look and laughed. "Your: l1undress
will report. on everything. you know.
so You must be impeccable."
"I'll be, even that. whatever It Isl
1ssSss.Basirerssf tia,riars nbouta hnring'
your sshpes polished, slinre daily and
maniehFe yourself feligiously, but don't
let 'em catch yousat it,
saWopldsthey raid me II they dldf"'
iJssAnd then, my son. you must work.
kellogg paused 10 let his lesson sink
II. 4kfteH a tlhe Duncan observed
plnIntiyelN ~ knew there was catch
III ,it!somewhere.s What Kind OF work q
E"1ts doesn't make my difference. so
longfas you get and hold some job III
the town."
well that letsSme out, Yonllg haye
to slessomd other poorfdevili Oh tbs
,glltterlng proposition of yours. 1
couldh.tihold a job ln91fIA bst4
"Wait! I'll tell you how to do It in
Just n minute"
az don't mind listening, but
you'll cinch the whole business by
going to church without n break.
Don't ever fall-morning md evening,
every Sunday. Don't forget that"
"Whyy"
"lrs the most important thing of
ALL" 5
"Does going to church make such a
hit with the young female Jasper-the
Jaspcrctte. rs 1t wcre?" !s
"It'lly make you more solid than amy.
thing else with her pepper md NOM
mer., and that's, very necessary when
you're candidate for their ducats as
well as their daughter. You must
work and you must 80 to church,
1"That can't e,all.S Surely you can
think Of something selse."t
'eThosc are the cardinal rules
church and work until you've landed
your heiress. After TINT you cnn move
back to civilization. Now. as soon. as
you 5strike your town you want to
make arrangements; for board and
lodging in some old womnn's house
preferably IN old maid. You'llbe sure
to find Mt least half q dozen of ,'cm
willing to take borders. but you want
to be equally sure to pick out tile
one TINT talks the most, SO thut she'll
tell the neiGhbors nil about you, Don't
worry about TINT. though. They M
Talk. When you've moved Iii stock
up your. room with about twenty
the drlcst looking books In the world.
Lawbooks look mostiimposlng., FfS up
q table with lots Of stationery7pens
and pencils, rcd ind black Ink, and all
TINT. sort of thing. Make thereon look
rs Il you We're the most SINCERE: stu.
dent ever. And by no means neglect
to have n well worn Bible prominently
In evidence. Yoi, cen buy one SECOND
hind ut sonic bookstore before I you
start out" ~
I'D hive to. of course. Ltllank&yo
for the battery. Proceed with the pro.
gram Of tue gay. mad life | mus. lead.
I'm going To have Il swell time; that's
perfectly plaln." &
AS soon ny you're. shaken down In
your r6dm make ilir rnulids Of the
stores mud nsk for work, Try TO get
Into the dry Gunils emporium if you
can The girls nllsiin, there l,nt any
thing VIII do except n. grocery OF; n
hardware stori' and places like that.