Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1911-11-30
HOW FARRELL
FOUND HIMSELF
E. B. Waterworth
Copyright. 1910. by the Pearson
Publishing Coz

| Ol!IceT ears. ana the policeman, Sl'
ting silent, also colored. For although
| cowardice was not charged it was i'm
piled.
There was silence for a moment a
the president concluded. Then b,
arose.
Officer" he said. as he tore tn,
charges into slips. my colleague ant
have had a few minutes of discus
SION before we called you in after wit
Messing your work. In view of your
recent performance, we not only dis
miss these charges, but will see il
there is any ground for malice be
hind them-well?"
Patrolman Farrell had risen TO his
feet and in a husky voice that could
scarcely be heard had raised his hand
in interruption.
Those charges amt malicious. gen.
tlemen-they're true" he whispered
For several moments nothing could
be heard in the board room save the
heavy breathing of the patrolman.
Once he raised an anguished face and
moaned:
"Gentlemen-if you'll give me a mo-
ment-if you'll give me a chance to do
what's right"
Again there was silence. No: a
member of the board stirred as the
big policeman pressed his hands
against his face in a strong effort to
control his emotions. Then, with a
gulping sound. Farrell Strengthened
himself and commenced to speak in a
hard. expressionless voice.
Its the truth, gentlemen; I'm a
coward. I've tried not 10 show it, but
I've done it. I've always been that
way. When | was a boy, had STEP
father-he used 10 come home drunk
and beat me-beat Ee til the doctor
said my nervous system was shattered.
AT school, was bigger than most boys
of my age-an' stronger. Yet smaller
to turn TO water in me, when | went
to fight back. | would lose my
strength. In all my fights, gentlemen,
| was licked. | grew up that way
and you don't know what it means to
a boy, year after year. lost conf
dence in myself-couldn't do anything
as well as the rest. An it's told on
me, it's told on me,
Il learned how to use a revolver
the drill sergeant can show you my
record. When my mother and | moved
here, | thought Id leave all the old
life behind me. 1t didn't take any
bravery in me TO kill that steer you
read about just now, | can shoot, so
he never had a chance. | could have
dropped that drunken niger out there,
before he ever raised gun. That
wasn't bravery. Yet let those fellows
up in my precinct bluff me, because
scrap like that-an' if I'd fought them
I'd have been licked, strong as | am.
It's the old yellow streak, comm back
Them charges are right, gentlemen.
I'm a coward"
The officer buried his face in his
hands again. For an instant no one
spoke. Then the president arose
softly, and put his hand on the police
mans shoulder.
NO man whose nervous system has
been shattered can say he has yellow
streak, after the way you've acted.
Farrell" he said, slowly. You've sim
ply been at a disadvantage all your
life and don't realize now that you are
On an even footing with any adver.
sary. You have the law behind you as
we'll. You are not a coward, either.
1t took moral courage to tell us what
you've just done. and we need moral
courage in this department, just as we
need the physical kind of bravery. You
haven't found yourself, that's all.
Now, listen. The charges are dis
missed. | will see you are made a
desk man until you appreciate what |
say-that confidence in yourself is
what you want and that you will be
supported when you do your duty. Do
you want to try this new rum"
Policeman Farrell lifted his head
and his eyes were wet.
I'D like to. sir" he said simply;
and hope, God willin'. that if | come
before we again, it won't be as Farrell
the coward"
1t was at the next quarterly meeting
of the board that the president, with
grim chuckle, read the account of a
capture of two armed Italians, badly
wanted as witnesses in black hand
case, by a policeman who had knocked
them down with his night stick and
had dragged them to a patrol box
through a shrieking mob of the prison
ers' friends. who had been deferred by
the officers demeanor from trying to
rescue his captive5.
1.-The officers name is Farrell" re-
,narl-ad tho pracidont clow1y ct rather