davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-01-28

900 bas Sahr. Der prdfibent bon
Gcuabpr unb iiberbaupt ale. bie reds
men tonnen, betrahten bas ols eth su=
tes Mnerbieten. Die 0cltsma5en be-
irahten ben gertrag als eine 9ers
Iebuna Der nutionalen Wurbe unb mas
oerlei gbantaftereisn nod mebr iinb.
Das ReiuItat piro iein, baB bic Der.
Staaten bic Snfeln in tpenisen Jabren
bebeutsnb biIiser betommen. pieneiht
umfpnTt.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-01-28
Der proteit Der Gcuaoorianer

Der grote # Der Gcuaoorianer
sesen bic 8erpahtung Der Galapagos
Snfeln an bic Ser. StQoten lit elm
perperier patriotismus. Die esnfeln
liegen ungefd6r 600 Meilen BON Der
Riiite pon ECUADOR uno iinb fat qdnsz
LID unbepobnt, ba lie unfruhtbor iino
uno font teinsn Wertb bsTiben. Sir
bic 8er. Staaten baben bic sSnfeln
eineH ftrategiihen Werth, oa lie ais
Operations 8aIis gsgen cine ben
Banana 8anal beorobenbe sglotte
benuBt Deroen tonnten; aus pelhem
@runoe unferem Qanbs audi iebr piel
baran eelsgsn I'll. poB bic Sniein nidt
in ben 8efiB elmer itorten frsmben
Maht eeratbsa- Quf @runb bieier
Grtpdgung baben bie Ser. Staoten
Geuabor 35 MiIlionen Dollars fir bic
9srpahtuns Der Sniel auf 100 Sabre
oe5oieH, sabIbar in Raten BON $3.50, :
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-01-28

W. 6. Golfom. Der neue GanitGts.
inipettor bes it6btiifkn Oelunbbeitss
amts, TT seiierH einsetroffen unb bat
feine gbdtigieit begonnen. Or nirb
iifh natiirlih in eriier Qinie nit ben
@erbdltniNen nertrout MAIDEN unb ses
fern ipurbe ibm bon einem Nertreier
bes MunieipaI Bureau Of Neisorn
hos auf Hetreiben bieies 8ureous i'm
0efunbbeitsamt eineefiibrte 4n4fiibs
runsss unb Rortenipiiem eril6rt.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-01-28

Die Dem Itrutipnen Der
9(rbeitslofen in Berlin uetfen cine
Glide in Der Io3iaIen 7FirIorqe 9eutTaz
lambs auf. 0as lit um 10 iiberruihenz
Der. ais 8erIuhe in perIhiebenen
Stdoten 9eutihlanbs unb oerS6ipei3
ertpieIen baben, oab Die 2lrbeitsloIigs
teit nt6t gu ben abfolut un6eilbaren
fo5ialen unb Otonpmii6en 2eioen oes
bort. DAB Die Retdsregierung bieIe
sSrage nod ni6t uufgegriffsn bat,
benefit ben ihr felt LETTER 3eit 6GuFig
eema6ten 8orpurf, bab auF bem5eloe
Der fo5iuIen JiirIorge nt6t nit BEN
bisberigen Gtfer gearbeitet pirb. Der
8runo mag in ben unbefriebiqenoen
5tnan5perbdltniien bes Rei6s lieqen,
ollein bic ShpteriQtsit mare au iibers
fpinoen, tpenn Die Regierung iit ba8u
entf 6lieben tDnnte, bds Suntert6um
5ur GrfuQung feiner SteuerpflidHen
81 3ningen. Gine Reiaserbfdaftsz
Steuer ipiirbe 80 MiQionen Wurt elm
bringen, Elm genigenber ;Fonbs, nm
Die 8erIorgung Qe9en 4rbeitsIoIiefeit
IN Ingriff 3u ne6men. Die Sumter
DerDeigern iebo6 bdrtnGdiq bieIe
Steuer. Rud ibrer 2lnfhauung lit
bas Steuersablen Sahs Der Ga
nai[e" unb fir bic Sumter gibt es
bios Rehte uno teine pfli6ten.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-01-28
GottesSienit in Ssbmann's @ittpea'
hdmaft.

Sn ber Dohmnnn'j j6kn Wiitnens
beimatb finbtt am GonRtoo sed@mits
TAG Gin Oottesbkuf fott, ben Orr
Ncitpr Dorm bon ber 60. @bilippuss
Gemfinbs Itittn nirb. rennbe Der
&nfalt finb 9er5li6f siRetinbsa.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-01-28

6err Or. 6. ". 6oImeS BON Der
iiabiii6en 6ofpitalsaommiHion iuirb
kuts 4beno In Der Gburn Of tbe Gos
Denant an Der 4hten unb Gin Str.
einen bur6 fiereoptiide Hilber ilIu,
iirirten Dcrtras iiber bic er5bien Dos
fpitdler ber gDslt bclten. Jebermann
1T gu bem Wortrose piatommen unb
Der 3ut,itt iii frei.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-01-28

y IS I q II y lppusH tthe
Surogeburg qegen BEN abIhlub zines
@ertra9s ,3tpiifen GnaIano unh rem
Der. Staaten nerunitalten, Der gum
3psde bat, Sriege spiiden oieien beiz
Zen 2dnbern gu psrbiitsn. 0us bo8ez
cen girpdnb erhpben lpirb, mare fehr
tefrenoeno, fpenn man nitt tpubte,
TAB bic SSrlGnber bos 3isl psrfolgen,
einen Grieg 3niIten ben Ser. Stdatsn
unb gnqldnb berbei3ufiihren, I'm auf
iolhs meiie bic 2osloiuna SrIanbs
bon Der en9liihen Serridaft gu srllns
GEN. Die oSrldnber beroeiien offenbar,
hdb lie dmerituniihe giirger iinb uno
a!s iclte tsin Redt baben, bic Snter'
efen Srlanbs benisnigen Der Ser.
Stadten poran3uitslen. FIr ung 1T
es Elm entfhieoener 8ortbsil, tusnn tpir
nit alien 2dnosrn in Trisosn lsbsH unb
tonn lit aud bic Watruna bes
Stiebens Elm Sulturgebpt fir ale sipiz
liiirten Natipnen. Die 2tbiitt Iiest
oor. bic 9sutT6eu gum Gni6Iub On
bic Qgitdtipn eeoen ben 9ertrag 81 be.
tregen. 9as fpirD beitimmt niht oes
Iingen. Die Wabruna oes internotlos
nalen Srieoens appeuirt nit gang Be-
icnoerer Watt an bas aultursmpfinz
hsr Der 0eutIten, Die itoIa oarauf
i:nb, baB bic Re1ierung i6res alien
9oterlanDes in bisiem aulturbeitreben
an eriter Steae itebt. Sie psroen pem
porliegenoer gertra9s I'm 10 ipmpatbiz
iter osgenijberiteben, alg bieisr sia
2iDiIiIatorii6es Document eriten Ban.
ges III, oun3 beionbers bosu gesiqnst,
has bobe Sbeal pom r5rieben ouf Gr=
ZEN" gu pertpirtlihen. Sn aqsn Sriee
henspertrdasn, bic lsbtsrsr 9sit in iold
qrpber 4n8abl 5pii6en ben psrItpieoe
nen Rationen abgefdloHen porben
iino, piro Die Bsbineuna borbsbuItsn,
htb SFraqen, tuelhe bic ghre unh bic
2ebeus SntereHsn elmer Ration be
tiihren, niht fhiebsqsrittliher
s6li6tunq unterlisgen. 9dmit nirb
nie Griegsfdtel breunenb erbalten.
Was @bre unb 2ebsns Snterefen
Ftno, brs Qebort su ben iubisttipsn On.
fdduunaen. Sober bat feline sioene
meinung barIber. Semndh mafen
bieie 3pei 2lusndbmen ale SFrisosns.
pertrdge gu Nihte. Sn bsm 9ertro9s
pirb a6sr porgsieben. bah aud Disie
bsioen sSrogsn Der gnti6eiouns bes
Saager Sdieosgeritts unterbreitet
nerosn ioQsn. Oas Refultut pGrs
olfo, bob 3pei Der gr0Bten NutiOnsn
her Groe eine ehrlihe unb tpirtfame
@sranftaltung treffen, I'M arisge 3pis
fden ibnen CUR llnmoglihteit 3u moz
den. ginem folhen 9emIben le1t
tetn aibiliiirter Merit 5inberniHe in
rem Weg, Ionbern iu6t es aus alien
GrdfteH Al f0r0ern. Wenn es i'd, 90.
rum hanoelt, Gnglonofreunosn in bic
iem 2anbe. tpie Commodore Gins,
entgegen5utreter. ipelfe bas glut uno
has @elb Der Ser. Staaten fir gnoz
lambs SntersFen opfern ppllsr, 10
rerben bic Deutider in bieIem Qanbe
oasegen 10 entihieoen Stelluno nehe
men, fpie bic Srldnber. 2tber biz
GeutIhen limb niht bafIr All ia
Zen, bab Die Ser. Stauten ben eSrlGn.
bern 8uIie6s arieg nit England an.
fangen.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-01-28

Der graDsur Chm. Gmith, iu<I&er
am "a. Wopsmber 1909 ieine aus ber
Satin unb elmer brei Jnbre alten
Sodier befiebenben Jomile an 8. unb
Jobn Sirabe perluHen bate, ipurbs
geiiern bon Honifobler 3yaein bon
Driensnsrifter Strotton's Office btr.
buftet unb inter Der Anilnse her9ei6t.
berforguns ieiner Damilit einesIperrt.
DIR betreffeHDe 9cftsbeiebI mar berfiis
am 90. Vopember 1909 eririrtt tpors
ben. Der Gefongsne iDobnte pdbEenb
nfr. snn5en 3eii bel feinkm Batter an
Wetiern uHh UleQeon 4ps.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-01-28

Giir biefes 1Iait purben ssiiern Don
ben Dptisern 6. afein e Bro,
80. 435 Race Sirobe. folsenbe 9ems
peratar llnterfhieos resifrirs:
Bm. Grab glM. OraA
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-01-28

Din 8nfeS 0tnreitfsaitieI
log in seinem tDotI resulirien 0anss
bdIt ff1ien. Or. Ri9ierl
Pain-Expsllsr
ertreut fi4 ieis 40 Sahren uaaer 0sni.
iea auf ner sanoen Hall ixe6er ~
Ikbfbeit. 2k nnA 60t u 1foo1ke1sn.
Rns etbt NIT 4ales.
=. An. nICuTn0 = a.
(eao 0nhMoGn1 lHoo
- Seaga oasse1, AeW No.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01

But to my qualification, they accorded
me every courtesy and seemed pleased and
proud TO have me in the department
take my orders daily from Chief Galloway,
and my work has been',running smoothly
ever since
Il can make an arrest whenever neces-
sary, but so far have not been called upon
to make any. My beat as you call It, is
around the moving picture shows, cheap
theaters, dance halls and places where
certain classes of young women are apt
to spend their time. / do not exclude
them from these places, but 1 am there
to see that the places are orderly and be-
have themselves. The very young and
the beginners 1 make every effort to in
fluence away from the resorts
other places l have access to are the
girls dressing rooms OF the lesser theaters.
man policemen could never go there.
But in this way ! get acquainted with
the girls inquire into their lives, gain
their confidence and make every effort
to put them on the right way.
Young girls entering unsafe places are
my chief concern, but / also look into
tenement conditions, physical and eco
nomic conditions. city problems and all
problems OF criminology. The work iF
worthy of the respect Of everybody and
the position Of woman policeman Ii
bound to do utmost good in the end"
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
Fencing Out Suffragettes

There may be men still clinging 10 ira
dition and opposed to woman suffrage
but you won't find many OF them in the
neighborhood Of the lunch room OF the
New York Suffrage club. says an article
in the sun. The only one absolutely
identified lives next door and when a
Christmas celebration was prepared in the
suffrage rooms for 200 children and 1900
came his patience gave out and he built
fence between his ground and those of
the Votes for Women" people. This
fence is painted red and is so high that
the suffragettes can no longer hang upon
It the dodgers with which they used to
ornament the old division line, but they
have amiRbly erected at its termination
tall pole and swinging in the breeze
as you approach the place triangular
pennant with Love Your Nenighbor''
meets your eyes II meets the eyes OF
the opponent OF womans suffrage as
he looks down from his shattered windows
and II is said in the most charitable way
imaginable by the ladies In charge OF the
lunch room that It is expected to do the
good work OF overcoming his prejudiees
In time. They also say that so long as
there must be a fence they are mighty
glad it is high one. for they don't want
any sitting on the fence. II Is one side
or the other with them.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
Only Woman Policeman

There is but one woman in the United
States who enjoys the novelty of being a
fuI Pledged policeman. wearing a badge
and having all the privileges of a patrol
man Of the rank ara file. This is Mrs,
Alice stebbins Wells ,of. Los Angeles. Cal
Los Angeles. had the distinction OF appoint
ing the first woman policeman last fall
and Mrs. Wells appointment has proved
great success. It has also caused the
civil service commission to frame up new
rules and regulations governing the police
department appointments. and from now
on II will be possible TOR women to enter
the ranks the same as men.
Mrs w ellis is a young woman, slight i'm
build well educated, and until recently
, took nut little part in public life Her
Story Of hQwrshe became the first woman
policeman is characteristic of her She
says:
Il qualified 20, becope policeman be
cause l saw the great opportunity open foi
a woman, There are places she can gC
and accomplish good that can never b,
reached by a man. After leaving New
Y-Urk and coming to Los Angeles l saw
great need of It here. Naturally, however
when / first applied at the department for
instructions to qualify, 1 did so with much
doubt and misgivlng for l did not know
II the Officers would take me seriously.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
The Boys Knew Which

Wyoming missionary, new to the coun-
try and its characteristics, stopped at log
school-house, where the schoolmarm in
vited him to speak to the embroyo cow
punchers and ranchers squirming in their
seats.
The missionary chose to talk upon the
beauty and importance OF unselfshness,
and TO illustrate his point presupposed
two little boys who were alike save In the
respect that where one was always CIV
ing, the other was always getting. one
would give his candy, marbles, Cartridges
for his %, to his little playmates, but the
other was determined to get-was always
reaching out his hand for the candy,
marbles, and Cartridges"
Now, children" demanded the youthful
sky-pilot,- which one of those little boys
will grow into the most successful mar?
Every arm swung vigorously in its
shoulder socket, and a vociferous chorus
replied:
THE Teller that gitsH'-Lippincott's
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01

"Corsets usually come to stay?" I side
stepped. According to the advance no
tees Of the new coat. the chest is where
the padding win be placed
Just now the padding is in the novels
and serial stories" she grimaced.
"The proof Of the padding is in the read
ing o. it," l paraphraased.
TOO many books spoil the auth" she
essayed I'm the same vein. II suppose II
must be awfully easy to write a book"
yes, the hard part is getting anybody
TO read IT," I responded. "Why?"
II was Just thinking about that this
could be made a good scene for story
handsome young reformer fighting wicked
political boss falls in love with boss
daughter" she began.
idea never used beforeW I jeered.
pilot with all the modern Improvement"
But" she continued, with rebuking en-
phasis, this doesn't turn out the same
way. He attends ball, just like this, sees
another beautiful girl In box with vapid
young idler--"
Young idol, you mean, don't your"
interrupted. But that's no reformer look
ing up here. He's a ky cop. Or am the
reformer?"
you certainly have enough conceit"
she cried.
But you always have conceit checks, "
l protested. Shall we waltz?"
Il will not stir from here" she an
serted
"oh, don't be stubborn-come on" I
pleaded.
Until you take your chair off my
train" she finished
INgot!
Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald CO..
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
ANY Woman Can See Them

= 1T has come to that point in artistic
development that a woman need not look
stout unless she wants to-" says writer
in the New York Sun. Il would first say
to woman: Go and weigh yourself; note
the table of weights and heights and see
whether you are at normal A few pounds
more or less will not make any great diff
ference. But IL there is any great devil
alton, say you are fifteen pounds over
weight, then It II necessary to reduce.
"Loosening the waist win generally
make woman look simmer Take a
woman whose waist is drawn in like an
hour glass and get her TO let 1t out, tying
a broad band of something around her
waist, and she will Immediately look
simmer
/ IF you were to ask Parision how she
makes herself look tall and slim she would
stretch out her bejeweled little hands and
check off her fingers the following:
"A long chain or string of beads.
"A wide loose sash effect around the
waist, but neither wide enough to be
cumberson nor loose enough to hide the
figure.
Something floating around the neck
neatly arranged to float in a certain
fashion or hang in a certain way.
An unbroken hip line, something which
exhibits the length from the waist to the
floor; It may be only panel or it may bt
long girdle; but there's always some
thing.
"A wrist ornament, something tina
bangles and makes the arm look long and
slim; 1t may be a bag with a long golC
chain or st may be a reticule with sill
strings. but there's sure to be that long
slim arm effect.
''Other things make a woman look tall
train for instance; but It mustn't be too
long; the little woman with a very lonI
train is ridiculous; the tall woman witt
the long train is gTotesque; but there 1
medium which should be carefull
! studied"
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01

In passing a blacksmith's shop the other
day l heard a queer conversation. Il went
something like this:
mo one" whined an old horseshoe which
hung against the wall, has endured the
fiery trials through which / have passed
without any respite being allowed. The
sledge hammer and the anvil were my
enemies, and between the two / was cruelty
treated and found no pity. / was beaten
by them most numerically, and the blows
! received at their hands would have killed
an OK. I'm Disguised with life, that's what
/ ami"
Hold your foolish tongus?" said a
ploughshare, which had sent to the shop for
repairs Hold your tongue unless you can
talk more sensibly Both you and / have
been greatly benefited by the ordeal
through which We have passed. Once, and
not so very long ago, we were useless
pieces OF iron; but now, look at us-you
are useful horseshoe and l am a respect
able ploughshaTe. Horses need you and
men need me- To be sure, II took much
pain and trouble 20 get US into shape,
but il was worth the effort. You will
find that fire purines and pain strengthens
for future good"
The horseshoe was never heard TO com
plain aEain.-Philadelphia Ledger,
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
Taking No Risks.

A Philadelphia woman who is exceed
ingly fond of animals had an odd expert
enee while waiting al a city railway station
for a belated train.
In the seat next to her sat a small dog,
which evidently belonged to an deliberately
dressed woman just beyond.
He was a friendly little fellow, and looked
up at the first mentioned lady with a wag
OF his tail, as though DESTROYS to make
friends. She leaned down and patted him
on the head.
His mistress Immediately reached out and
took her precious pet into her lap.
Pardon me- she said apolOgetically
but my dog is not allowed to kiss stran-
gers. -Lippincotts
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
BY WALTER A. SIM

81 should thiRk that instead OF the
Grand March they'd call It the Grand
April. because OF the showers observed
, Dottie. hurting confetti from the box seats
politician friend had pressed on me.
Maybe they call II that because It
starts Ike a lamb. and then goes out like
a line ! snitketed
An you are filled with carnival spirit
che accused dabblng 81 me with a handful
Of chopped paper There! / can hit you
anyway IVje been trying 10 wing man
marching down there who keeps looking
up as though he was afraid his wife might
be here rc-- -fsT
Throw confetti. but don't throw iusinu-
atlons I warned "This is a perfectly
proper political BAH, and all the attending
politicians have been thoroughly white
washed
From the way he lodges these hashed
papers you'd think 1 was a subpoena
server" she remarked letting handful
trlckle down on the polished bean" Of a
learned Judge who ventured out from be-
meath the balcony.
what's become OF Young whats-His-
Name, who took you out for preliminary
dance anil seemed 50 keen to fill your
program before he started?' | inquired
tyhlcaH4-s ne mas JtfAeN' ho N'N" oN''e
back" rs-..-,
"Rubbers,3-. she snapped, rather sulkily
''Yes,- quite, a number here tonight but
that wasn't the question l replied.
II WAS answering discovered after the
poor fellow had dragged me all around the
place. and had wondered IL / was a ton OF
coal or a battle ship. that l had forgotten
to take off ms rubber sandals she ex'
claimed
Mere men seem to tire out at one dance
while women can keep It up and be just
as fresh at the end of the night" re-
marked. AT a dance they seem to hav,
the strength, of foot ball players"
II see a number Of half backs and quar-
ter backs" she agreed.
Would you say that that pretty blonde
over there In. the third box had press agen
story hair2i, Il queried. to change the sub
iect. ,.. -
Press agent story har?' she echoed.
Lot Of puffs,' explained.
NO, should call # a Hamelin Golf
fure," she countered
= Meaning. / insinuated
Full Of rats. loot! loot" she exulted
That young mgn rotating around hei
seems to be wearing those corset coati
for men / read about. Do you think corse
styles for men VIII ever come permanent!
80 - a. .52 -laa
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
New Kind of Loan

Two negroes had been called up before
their employer because they had had a.
tight about money Abroham Jones claimed
that Thomas Short owed him five dollars.
THIS short denied in the most vehement
manner. calling Oh an the powers of heaven
and earth TO strike him dead II he owed
Jones a cent
Use done loan dat niggah five dollahs,"
protested Abraham
He ant done nothin' OBJ de kim con-
tradlcted Short
This Qolloally except up Tor several min
utes FlnUIlso the employer decided that
Jones had loaned the five dollars to Short
What do you mean by lying TO me in
this, wa y2Nahe demanded sternly of Short
- We'll, boss. explained Short. you see.
e wuz lax dis Abraham, he done loan me
dat five collars, bat It wuz loan in de
way OF a sir Popular Magazine.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
Skinned EN- on Spasms

Dorothy, Della and Daisy, three young.
sters of a New Jersey town, were dis
courslng about the baby brothers who had
taken up their residence in the three fam
lilies during the past year.
My little brother Toms got lovely sill
yer mug that Grandfather just sent him"
said Dorothy. ITS a beauty; and he had
silver knife and fork from Grandma,
too"
My little brother Harry's got a bee
yutiful carved rattle that Uncle Dick sent
him from Japan, said Della. Its the
prettiest rattle that ever was"
My little brother Willies not so big as
your brothers" said Daisy with an air
Of endeayoring to conceal feeling Of tri-
umph. but the doctor says he's had more
spasms than any other baby I'm this whole
neighborhood so there!'-Lippineott
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
Uncle Hiram's Advice

"stevy," said Uncle Hiram to his hope
full young nephew while l think of IL let
me tell you a little one, something that you
can iot down in your memory.
when you come to get grown up and in
business for yourself, employing many peo-
pie and hiring other people to look after
them, bear this in mind when It comes to
hiring bosses:
Whatever his other merits may be
never hire man for a boss unless he has
also good sound health. A healthy, hearty
man who is feeling good and cheerful
himself all the time can get out OF men
twice the work that can be got by a man
in poor health and feeling all the time sour
and grumpy"-N Y. Sun.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
PRECEDENT Lost his Temper.

Stuart G. Leake who has a lot to do with
managing big railroad in Richmond, Va,
is noted as one OF the best dancers in the
south.
one night something went wrong with the
branch OF the road over which Leake has
supervision.
Where in thunder was Leake7" asked
the president OF the road next morning.
Leading a german" said the general
manager.
which" commented the president, was
a dirty Irish trick. "--Popular Magazine.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01

sorry, Brown" said the doctor. after
the examination. You're In a very serious
condition. I'm afraid I'll have to operate
on YOU"
''Operate!' gasped Brown. why, 1
haven't any money for operations. I'm
only a poor working man"
You're Insured. are you not?"
Yes, but 1 don't get that until after Tn
dead"
"Oh, thatil be all right" said the doc.
tor consolingly. -LippincOtts
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01
Real Esonsmy.

New England mother had come upon
her S-year-old son enjoying feast whereof
the eomponents were jam. butter and
bread.
SON. said the mother. don't you think
Il a bit extravagant 20 eat butter with
that fine JAM"
No, ma'am' was the response. It's
economical; the same piece Of bread does
for bOth.-LippincottG
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01

Say, l don't know just how TO take Miss
Cuttings comment on my singing"
What did she say?"
''She said CarusO's voice was excellent
but mine was better still. "-Lippincott's
Omaha daily bee., 1911-02-01

How do you get rid OF the woman suf-
fragists so smoothly"
Easy enough. 1 tell them I'll talk
about their voting when they look old
enough to vote then they smile happily
and go away"