davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
CHAMP CLARK'S AMBITION.
Prefers to Be known as "Fairest'
Rather than "Greatest" Speaker.

From the Brooklyn Eagle.
Il would rather be known in history"
said Speaker Clark. in ruling on a hotly
contested point of order, ''as the fairest
Speaker the House ever had, rather than
as the greatest"
Champ Clark is undoubtedly earning a
reputation for fairness. He is not re-
garded as a great parliamentarian, and
as an ordinary member of the House he
never indulged in much hair-splitting or
devoted much time to whiting fine
points. He has thus far passed through
his first session as Speaker without any
serious difficulties. There is a sort of
offhand informality about Mr.. Clark's
methods that brings them into sharp
contrast with those of the strict con-
structionists who preceded him in the
Speakers chair. For instance If there is
an undue amount of noise in the House
when a point of order is being discussed,
Mr.. Clark will hammer his gavel and
say:
= The House will suspend until we get
order. The Chair has got to rule on this
and he wants to hear what's going on"
The other day he precipitated a long
ana technical discussion Of the rule gov
erning thercall Of committees by making
this statement:
THE way the Chair understands the
rule is this: Whenever the House runs
out of anything else to do. we have
call of committees"
This bland, declaration was something
of shock to the parliamentarians on the
floor, but it turned out that in the main
the Speaker was right The other day
when a communication from the French
Chamber Of Deputies was read to the
House in the original French by Repre-
sentative Estopinal, Uncle Joe" Cannon
arose and inquired:
But what does II mean?'
1T means they're goin' to send us
box of books" answered the Speaker Ia
conically, and he passed on to the next
subject
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
TABLOID THOUGHTS.

From the Baltimore American.
Harry Thaw declares that he now is
sane. But there is also decided public
opinion to the effect that he is by no
means safe.
From Puck.
A married man is the noblest work OF
woman.
From the Baltimore Sen.
Never mind about the maraschino
cherry SO the other ingredients are all
there.
Prom the Boston Herald
Lawmakins is at a complete standstill.
From the Pittsburg Post.
The best girl will not be alarmed by
the report of food experts that the aver
age soda fountain is full Of germs.
From the Deseret Evening News
A Chicago woman who is a party to a
divorce suit says that her face powder
bill is $500 year. She must have lots OF
cheek.
From the Pittsburs Express
Los Angeles is to have a squad of po-
licemen on roller skates. They ought to
be funny. even If they are not very ef-
fective.
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A man wanted to join the Chicago po-
ce'force. but he wasn't quite up to the
weight. So he drank four quarts of
water and qualified. This n printed that
police in other cities may see the novel
beverage that brings policemen UP to the
standard.
From the Baltimore Star.
The President Is in training on his golf
course for hard work on his Western
trip.
From the Atlanta Journal.
Considering that Congress doesn't meet
again until December, its members will
have a longer vacation than most peo-
pie.
From the Atlanta Georgian.
Wonder If President Taft will also veto
the findings of the tariff board?
From the Indianapolis News
The announcement that 100000 words
were uttered in Congress during the ex-
ira session will tend to confirm the belief
of a good many people that the members
talk entirely too much.
From the indianapolis News.
With the alarnDclock set for December
4, Washington now turns over for the
first sleep it has had in almost nine
months.
From the Columbia State
The Congressional brethren are all re-
turning from their recent vexaton.
Prom the ST. Louis Star.
The President, Senators. Representa-
tives. and officials generally are hasten
ing from Washington. singing that old
army song. Amt Glad I'm Out of the
wilderness"
From the ST. Paul Dispatch.
1t is announced that the Senators and
Representatives are leaving the Capitol.
1t is to be hoped they are doing better
than some legislators and are leaving the
furniture, also.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
The Hoodoo of 1912.

From the New York Sun
An Englishman with a sense Of humor
has reached Gotham. and he is regarded
as such a rare one that they want to
keep him as long as they can. When
he registered the clerk assigned him to
room 1872.
''Oh. say. is there any method in your
handing me that NUMBER he demanded.
That's not popular with Britishers, you
know"
He smiled. and it dawned upon the
clerk that there was a war called by that
date. Later on the manager. passing by
the open door Of 1872 found the walls of
the room fairly swathed with British
flags.
Must do something to ward off what
you call the hoodoo,' was the visitor S
comment.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
LOOKING FOR A HOME.

Editor Big. Stick:
In response to your inquiry. I beg
to state the National Press Club
has postponed building operations
for year.
We have not yet decided whether
to purchase the Department Of JUS
tice building. which wiz be vacated
in course Of time. or to lease the
Capitol.
The latter proposition is received
quite favoably by our members be-
cause they are thoroughly acquaint-
ed with the building.
RALPH GRAVES.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
home NEWS WHILE AWAY

To keep In touch with home
news washinEtonians leaving the
city should not fail TO havs The
washiagton Herald mailed 20
them. II win be sent promptly.
and addresses may be changed ~
often ~ desired without inter-
ruptioa Of service.
Maii order or phone Main $50.
gsving the OLD ana new aadrsssss.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
Advertising Washington.
he Norfolk virsinian-Pilot

From the Norfolk Virsinian-Pilot
The moving picture theaters through.
out the country can be made a valuable
adjunct in advertising Washington IL the
proposition now before the Chamber of
Commerce be Observation-Disclosures Her
aid.
Maybe so, but where Is the need of
any other medium so long as Congress
continues to meet there at least once
a year? Certainly the quantity Of ad-
vertising which Washington so secures
ought to be sufficient. Does 1t not like
the quality?
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
Political Conditions in Virginia.

Prom the Petersburg IndeI-Appeal-
The Democratic party of Virginia has
not been so sorely beset in a generation.
Individuals and newspapers who have
been towers of strength in the past have
turned upon the party and charged it
with misdemeanors and crimes graver
than any of which 1t was accused in
the days when there was a Republican
party in the field against it. The records
of the Democratic party of the State
have been ransacked for twenty years
back, and the names Of many Of the
men who fought our battles and won our
victories then are being besmirched by
the tongue of the superheated partisan.
We have come to such a pass that
If the Democrat who shears all the
charges brought against the Democratic
party of Virginia believes even one-half
Of them he is ashamed OF having voted
the Democratic ticket.
Affairs have reached a stage that is
most serious. 1t may be called pitiable
Outrageous would not be too strong a
description.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
AT CHEVY CHASE.

! love 10 sit upon my porch
While whining cars 20 by.
And look upon tie broad gfesu
heldA
And CASA up to ths shy.
! have an insect orchestra
Az cunning a can bel
A locust. cricket. grasshoppsf.
And one green Katy d.
Thes make . pry nne quartet
And some day. I am SURE.
When ! have trained them thor
oughly.
III take them On . tom.
wM. n. sANrELSfANN.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
THE JOY OF A FLAT.


A minister out In Chicago says.
We must mot live in q nat:
But I want to say Il Is my BE-
Hes taikns through his hat.
A house 10 all ven well for some.
But give me . COY suite,
Where every room Ia right next
door.
And furnishings complete.
rss. are no tir.sons .ssps %
climb.
No back yard TO keep clean;
Ard lifs 10 tust one constsnt 10Y.
Ccutsnfed aud serene.
BATD8 WARREN
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
NOTICE TO THE
CLIFF DWELLERS

There is no truth in the report
that I am going to furnish phono-
graphs and autopianos as new fea-
lures to my next apartment house.
am for peace.
LOUIS a. EMMERT.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
A SAD STORY.

There was a young builder named
Pillow.
Who sailed in q boat on the bill
low; .
But out Of the skies
A storm did arise.
And Il kept him from eating his
All. oh,
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
PERHAPS!
Editor Big Stick:

Editor Big Stick:
I respectfully suggest that I have
them ali beat when It ccmes to set
Ting the labor question. Brother
builders are invited to watch the
effect Of my famous bass solo.
"Heave. Ye Terriers. Heaye" upon
my workmen any afternoon att !
O'Clock with the thermometer At
100 In the shade
- JOHN Il. NOLAN.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
Modern Homeric Nod.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
With three men on bases and Detroit in
sore need of runs the other day, Ty
Cobb struck out Again We are remind
ed of the deplorable fact that Homer
nodded.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
MUCH NEEDED!

During the absence d its occu-
pant, the house at 100 Pennsyl-
vania avenue Is undergoing some
repairs JAMES L. PARSONS.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
The Devil and the Preachers.

From the Richmond Ttmes-Dispatch.
The Savannah News says that in
Washington the devil and the preachers
take three months vacation. Maybe
the preachers do, but never the Old Boy.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
SPORTING NOTES.

Ths Buildes and Manufactursrs'
Exchange 10 snxious to arrange for
. thSs-round bout between Ernest
Dauisl and Commissioner Judsou,
the winnG to dictate futufO changes
h the building regulations For
furfhR information. Apply 10
ALLAN ". HowIs0N.
r. s.-NAi. sylvsstes b invited 20
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
IN THE FUTURE.

When travel by aeroplane becomes
the vogue. Petworth will take on q
building boom So will Analostan
Island and Gaithersburg.
CLARK WAGGAMAN.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

A kind word TO the janitor win
do wonders, but q dollar bill Is
even more effective.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

Unfortunately for number Of Con-
gressmen. the chautauqua circuit for
this summer is just about completed.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

The Ty rings out above the din.
"How's things down in your coal
bin?" B. STANLEY SIMMONS.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
THE IDEAL HOUSE.

II we're going to build 4 house.
I'd install sef-hlling coal bins.
stationary servants. individual ice.
making plants, and noiseless phonS
Rraphs.. JAMES r. STRAYER.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
EXPERT ADVICE.

You can raise q building On jscks,
but never try to raise on q pair
Of Jacks. MORRIS HACKER.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

II it is really true that science has
discovered a means Of curing the most
confirmed liar. It viii revoiutionize the
modern practice OF diplomacy
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

An author sues for divorce, naming
a poet as correspondent. Does this mean
that she left him for better or for
verse?
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

Agitators thrown out Of jobs by pro-
tracted peace in. Central America are
now applying for work as anti-adminis-
tration editors in Cuba.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

Atwood's fight has shown that If you
want to go to st. Louis in hurry, do
not take an airship.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
JUST UP in THE AIR.
WINTERS COMING! !

II an aeroplane cannot land, could
Friedlanderi SAM MARKS.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

Compliment the girl In the ne1t
apartment upon her beautiful voice.
1t will encourage her TO renewed
effort.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

An Illinois town tries 10 cure In
sbriates by tying them to tombstones In
the cemetery. II u quite sffectivs.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

The statement of a Pittsburg ply
sician that he has discovered a cure
for hay fever~is not to be sneezed at
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

The young lady at the telephone
is not nearly as much interested in
you as you think she is.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
Driven to 1t.

Reading Chaucer? Rather heavy for
summer, isn't it?''
Yes: but after my daily grist Of base
ball slang. I have to read a little early
English to rest my mind
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

The platform Of the fire escape b
not supposed to be used as an
extra room.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
WAY 1T HAPPENED.

Now John Hays Hammond roundly says
He didn't nudge the King.
His majesty has easy ways;
He was the sassy thing.
The King is not austere or grim,
Has free and easy ways.
Instead of John Hays nudsing him.
Twas he that nudged John Hays.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

Life in a fat Is not without its
ups and downs.
JOHN Z. wILKIE.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

The summer colonists at Buzzards
Bay are in no danger because a Ger
man cruiser lies off shore.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Motto: Hyou see it in The Big
STICK. il ism Z necessarily 50.
HINTS FOR THE
FLAT DWELLE r

Don't play your pianola at 8
a m. unless all the people in the
apartment house are up on the roof
looking at the stars.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

Lightning the other night rang sew
eral false fire alarms. Something like
he up-to-date political lightning.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
Hardships of the Sea.

Ever shipwrecked?"
mo; but I know the sensation. We
were marooned in Liverpool and couldn't
secure a first cabin for weeks and
weeks"
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
Turned Him Down.

Maud Muller on a summers day
Received the judge. but said him nay.
His job was good. but kingdoms fall
And Maudie thought of the recall.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
Back in Town.

WAS your love affair romantic?''
''Oh. very. I met Reginald at the sea-
shore. We both pretended to be very
rich.
Yes, yes"
And now it turns out that he col
lects the payments on our piano"
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

You may deposit your money now al
most at any old post-office
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

The rates were higher. but it was
worth it,
How now?'
The doctor said my wife must have
a rest. so to save her the trouble of
dressing we changed hotels three times
a day."
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
Uncle Pennywise Says,
Same Effect.

The auto carries extra tires; but the
pedestrian amt got no extra legs.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26
Her Reasoning.

That young fellow I met last week, -
said belle of the beach, must be
worth all binds of money"
Has he bought you a ton Of candy"
No: he hasn't spent a cent on me
since I met him.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-26

From the Baltimore American.
Harry Thaw declares that he now Is
sane. But there is also decided public
opinion to the effect that he is by no
means safe.
Milford chronicle., 1911-05-12
Communicated
Many AUTOMOBILE VIOLATORS.

One has but to observe to see the Au-
tomobile Law openly and defantly vio-
lated day in and day out right here in
Milford, and the violstors are not the
result of ignorance of the law. for in
every case those violating the law are
fully conversant Herewith.
Those violations are as follows Ma
chimes not registered, drivers not licensed,
running machines without being prop
erly tagged, running at night without
being lighted as required by law, exceed
ing the speed limit, and by drivers under
the age Of 10 years running cars, the lat
ter being ineligible for license regardless
of any knowledge Of an automobile.
Such violations should be followed by
giving information against the offenders.
This is a warning, and if you are prose-
cuted lay the blame to yourselves.
Another question has been asked by
many who know that there are three
State officers here in Milford who have
sworn to see that the law is not violated.
beside the three police that are cn the
payroll of the town, why don't they
make some arrests? G. J. W.
Milford chronicle., 1911-05-12
URGES MORE FRUIT GROWING

Ex-Assemblyman Orlandy Harrison, oi
Berlin, who has extended an invitation
to each member of the Peninsula Horti-
cultural Society to visit his great fruit
farm at Berlin this year and hold an all
day meeting, also at Ocean City, has sent
out a circular which, he says. if followed
by every farmer, will bring to him a
beautiful home, life full of enjoyment
and happiness. He wants everybody to
grow some fruit, and says:
Il have tried to tell of some of the
genuine, practical advantages Of growing
fruit. We growers of the Eastern States
can get just as high prices as are received
for Pacific coast fruit-from s. to $40
per barrel and from S1.25 to $3.50 Der
bushel box. ! am now running an ex-
hibit of fruit grown East Of the Alleehan-
les, the Reading Terminal market in
Philadelphia. Chiefly apples and pears
are shown at this time of the year. All
that is exhibited there is sold from time
to time, new shipments replacing the va
caucies in the display.
The purpose of the show, of this talk
in this letter, is to prove to YOU. like
Milford chronicle., 1911-05-12

THE annual meeting of the stock
holders of the Delaware, Maryland
and Virginia Railroad will be held
on Wednesday, May sIst, 1911, at
Georgetown, Delaware, and the at
tention of the local directors of this
road is especially called 10 the ur-
gent need ofa new depot and better
facilities and accommodations for
the public who travel. We hope they
will present the plea that justice be
done to Milford quickly, Our pres
ent depot and environments are a
disgrace to the agricultural commu-
nifty which is its main patron. Let
the local directors put in stiff argu-
ments at this meeting.
Milford chronicle., 1911-05-12
WORK BEGAN ON JETTY.

The engir eers in charge Of the United
States work at the mouth Of the Mis-
pilliOn River, were in Milford thi'
week, and went to tine work on Wed
nesday morning to look it over. Eigh
teen hundred additional feet Of jetty
Will be constructed before the work il
finished, and it is believed that 3 mini
mum drAught OF water at low tide OF
eight feet will be obtained for the
steamers in and out the river. The
same engineer, Mr. George Miller Of
Wilmington, is in charge Of the work
at the mouth Of the BrOAdklin, and he
expects to repair the jetty there and do
some dredging at that point during
the present season.
Milford chronicle., 1911-05-12

FUEL for summer use in the towns
Of this peninsula has become a
matter for consideration in most
families where the finances must be
looked after carefully. In Milford
the question is possibly Of greater
interest than in other towns Of ap-
proximate population, for the
reason that other fuel than wood
or coal is beyond the reach Of the
people. Many years ago after the
town took over the lighting plant,
the gas works were permitted to
fall into wreckage, and finally
were dismantled but, in recent years
this was seen to have been a mis-
take on the part Of the people, as
the present high prices Of fuel for
cooking or heating purposes has
forced this fact upon the public
understanding. A gas plant for
fuel would be a great convenience
to the housewife, and a comfort
during the heated summer. Even
the early fall days, and days in the
late spring, when heat is not de-
sired for an extended period, gas
would be a great comfort to the
home, because Of its economy and
cleanliness. The street lighting by
gas since Welsbach mantles have
been perfected and brought into use,
is superior to the old fashioned In
candescent lamps such as are used
in Milford generally at this time
but, we believe that the present
plan Of using these lights will soon
pass, and the Tungsten lamp, which
gives much more light for less ex-
penditure of current, will surplant
this trouble, and give what the
people are entitled to have, a we'll
lighted town. But the question Of
gas for cooking and heating pur-
poses, is a very live proposition, and |
will sooner or later come to the
front with people of Milford, be-
cause of the ever increasing price
demanded for wood for fuel pur-
poses. Gas would be a great con-
venience, and it is we'll to think the
over. What is the
sentiment of the people?
Milford chronicle., 1911-05-12

many Others, that you are letting good
money-making chances lie dormant,
right at home. You work hard raising
stock and grain and vegetables, and per-
haps get but a slim living from it. You
eat store foods and meat, and you get sick
lots OF times when you wouldn't need to
II you ate fruit. Pm not butting in on
your private affairs
I only want You to see that if you
plant apples and peaches and pears and
berries, enough to get all you want to
eat the year round, and enough to sell a
lot of,you will live better and make more
money than YOU do now, with less work. -
Relative to the bare condition Of farms
about the house, Mr.. Harrison urges
the farmers to plant evergreen wind
breaks plant naples and spruces for
screen and shade and they will have to
paint less.
Milford chronicle., 1911-05-12

THE Board of Supplies which has
charge of the printing for the State
Of Delaware, opened bids for print
ing the journals of the Senate and
House of Representatives. for the
last sessions, on Monday last al one
O'Clock. There were only four bid
ders viz The Mercantile Printing
Company, and Star Printing Com
any, both of Wilmington, the
Smyrna Times, of Smyrna, and the
Delawarean, of Dover, Delaware.
The journals were awarded to the
Delawarean and the Times, at u
cents per page for the former, and
IS cents per page for the latter.
The laws were given to the Star
Printing Company at So go per
page. There is a time limit of FIVE
months on each of the journals,
with a penalty Of S. per day for
each day the delivery is delayed be-
yond the time. On the laws, the
limit is 90 days from the time of de-
livery of the manuscript copy to the
printer, to the delivery ofIso copies
Of the completed volumns to the
Secretary of State. If this contract
can be lived up to, to the letter, the
Star Printing Company will be
rushing the work to the limit, and
the contract price will be exces-
sively low, if not below cost to the
The two journals will
be printed at the cost of doing the
work, and for that reason other
printers have failed to bid for this
line of State printing.
Milford chronicle., 1911-05-12
OLD FLEATOWN Inn.
BY B WEIGH.

BY WEIGH.
MsDy are the legends told.
ard many an episode;
/ About historic Fleatown Inn,
Along the old State road.
The old stage coach 10 former DAYS.
| That parsed along this way:
Going north, with running steeds,
Got here their hret relay.
Twas here that John N Clayton dlned
E. route 10 Dover, Del;
And Judges from our County Courts,
We're entertained as We J.
Twas here the Scottish Cavaliers
Their mission did fulhn:
The tragedy they performed Is told
BY the Ghost OF Chestnut Hill
The old Brick Church, built by King George,
That stood across he way
Where bricks and bats OF English mould,
Can still be seen today.
Lorenzo Dow, the preacher man,
Was here welcome guest;
And FreebOrn GarretsOn when travel worn
Found here a needed rest.
Cesar Rodney halted here,
When on his famous ride;
To bathe the nose OF his heated eteed
And water him beside.
Near here the Battlegreen Racing Track.
SO famous IN iis day;
That sports would come to see a race,
For many miles away.
The north field was their muster ground.
Before the War Of Twelve;
But all the fighting that was done
Wae there between themselves.
Drovers, with droves en-ronte IN State
Found here a safe retreat
with corrals for their lowing herd,
And plenty Of food TO eat.
'Tis said that men were corraled, too,
And put into q pen;
Before each lection at Cedar Creek
They cTibbed the floating men;
And kept them drunk for several DAYS.
To have them vote their way;
Then hauled them 10 q hurrah cart
On each election day.
Some said that slaves were bouebt ana uoid
Here, in the latter days;
And bloOdhounds, too, were kent and trafned
To catch the runaWays.
Some one may ask why give this name,
To such q noted place:
The modern name is FederalabnrR
And suiIs the populace.
Old Fleatown Inn, when Il was named,
By men Of low degrees;
Who said q man that once lived there,
Was eaten up BY 6eas.
The old hotel has passed away.
The hoFaeblock and the siFn;
But bring the stories back again,
o. the days Of "Apld Lang syne."