davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

all hands. There wasn't much Of the hur-
rah stuff over this, and the spokesman
for the gang plainly told the two broth,
ers that If every dollar Of wages Tor all
hands wasn't Immediately forthcoming
after the night performance the circus
what frame-up the two brothers had In
mind to put through in lieu Of paying OF
after the night show, but whatever their
dodge was it didn't happen, for things
were otherwise arranged long before the
night show was due to begin.
when Curly Johnson got his two
dollar bill he walked outside the tent.
looked at the double ace for a minute re-
f1ectiyely, and then, turning to one Of the
bandsmen, he said:
Nobody can make any place that's
worth living in on a two-spot, can he?"
Might get to Oskaloosa on the two
suggested the bandman; Oskaloosa at
that time being, with circus men, the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

synonym for the bummest place on tho
map.
Curly thoughtfully stuck his two-dol-
lar note into his vest. and, as 1t was only
II In the morning and he had a couple
of spare hours before the afternoon show
began, he hit the pike for the town. He
didn't stop to get a shave, but made di-
rect for the Bon Ton faro bank on Shaw
nee street, which was then run by q
nervy sport from Denver named Col.
Jennison / happened to be downtown
myself buying some beef chunks for the
cat animals, and I piped Curly when he
was entering the Bon Ton. / Joined him
and asked him where he had made
enough of a raise to buck bank.
"'Going to see IL l can't parlay this
two-spot into enough to get me a. ticket
for some place or other-Arizona by
choice, IL the box treats me right he
said.
Better stake yourself to Q square
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

tough and full of bones" he report. eff
this restaurant behave thusly any more,
I shall take Jas Jeffries on my knee and
punish him spankfully."
HE done SO to me yesterday" re-
port Hon. JEFF with prides.
Hon. Peterson" say Prof, "you are
now almost II feet in dimension. You
have arrived to manhood's altitude
record. When will you be prepared for
to meet Hon. Jon Johnson (colored) in
the championship punch-fight of the
world?"
whenever my health permit off, say
him with megaphone voice.
'I received following communicative
from Hon. Johnson this p. NJ" renounce
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

like to have the price of shave and a
shine himself, which he hadn't. Alto
gether there was pretty messy lot OF
sawdusters in the morning parade at
Leavenworth. apd as soon as the parade
turned in there was a meeting of all
hands in the main tent that looked like
trouble and a whole lot of 1t for the pro-
prietors. There was great chaw-bacon
time of ii for fifteen minutes or so.
THE two brothers, each of whom was
known to be worth half million. put on
the poor mouth, declared that neither of
'em had any money, said the show had
been dropping thousand day since
the beginning Of the season. and tried all
they knew to make this kind of phoney-
ing stick They put their domes together,
disappeared q couple of minutes, and
when they returned with hand satchel
they declared q two-dollar dividend until
after the night performance, when they
swore there'd be proper settlement for
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

by losing. Make 1t July 4. I hope to be
out on bail before that date.
Yours truly
]. Johnson (colored).'A
Tell him I shall meet him on that
patriotick date" rore Hon. Giant.
How many rounds shall it be?" ask
forth Hon. JEFF
"One," report Hon. Bigness.
Zone round would be too deliciously
short" negotiate Hon. JET.
ut is long enough for one punch"
colIaborate that Swedish Miracle. "But
why stand here in idle percy-fiudge?
wish for to take my evenings exercise
before my medicine"
Hon. Giant put on pants Of Knockout
Brown appearance. He scrunch UP his
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23
Very Suspicious.
WILLIAM LOEB, jr.. at dinner in
w New York said of certain customs

WILLIAM LOEB, jr.. at a dinner in
w New. York said of certain customs
dodgers:
'"They do very discriminating things,
then they claim that the things are mis-
takes Granting them to be mistaken.
they are suspicious-as suspicious as the
business mans wife.
1.-THE wife of a young business man
got wire from her husband the other
evening that said:
"'Shall dine with Milly Brown, an old
gal of mine. VIII be late. Don't wait
for me-
When the business man reached home
at midnight his wife met him in the hall.
wait for your she sneered. why,
wouldn't wait for the best man that ever
lived Let alone you!'
why, my dear he stammered.
"Then. bursting into tears, she handed
him the telegram. and in a fifty he ex-
planned that what he had really wired
was:
''Shall dine with Billy Brown. an old
pal of mine. VIII be late. Don't wait for
me-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23
A&|z2

tools they pound Hon. Giant rudely In
stummack, knees and shoulder-blade
"I am scarcely tickled by these lit
tie finger movements" he hullup. make
more manly strokes, so I can become
awakened up"
Hard knocks by all Strength Men.
When they hit this Sven Peterson by his
muscles It resound like base drums
being struck by lightning. Hon. Ham
mer bounch back each time he is struck
in q bicep.
THAT is Sufficient for such kinder
garten amusement" he dib finally.
Hon. Hoolingstein. will you please give
me Thick Skull Exercise No. 10?"
Hon. Prof wheel forthly one intense
brass cannon OF U. s. Navy appear
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

sternation on their faces-they had mean
time heard Of Curly's big drag-down at
the bank-and they looked like folks out
on limb
"'Are salaries going to be paid right
now?' Johnson asked them once more.
'"They were too much joggled to reply,
so Johnson beckoned to the band, which
was standing near, to strike up a march.
He took the head of the band, and away
they marched down the pike toward the
town, Curly motioning for all hands to
fall i'm behind. We all did fall in, and
Johnson led the whole outfit-as queer a
circus procession as anybody ever saw
tn q big vacant lot about a mile from the
circus grounds.
".This is where we dish up the free
show tonight said Johnson to the crowd
of us. Throw the ring up, and I'll rustic
downtown to rent gear ana announce tne
show
I'VE all knew that Curly's play was
more or less of bluff. but we also knew
that he was game to stand for 1T in case
the bluff didn't have the effect sought
upon the owners. I went downtown with
Johnson, and he made for printing Of
flee. He started to write big dodger,
thousands of copies OF which he was
going to have distributed all over the
town. announcing that a free-for-al cir
Gus would be given on the Pawnee street
vacant lot by the identical people who
had, on that afternoon, quit the Blank
Brothers show because they hadn't been
paid for two months. He had just about
finished the composition of this dodger
when the two brothers came rushing In
upon him. They'd caved. Johnsons de-
termination had nailed the Angora.
I'VE pay salaries Immediately. you no1
bum they said to him. There are 5000
people out there waiting for our show to
go on We pay all salaries snmediately,
blast your and the language they uncoil-
ed was more circusish than anything of
the kind I've ever heard before or since.
And they did pay. Paid off to the last
nickel, while Curly stood looking on with
a grin. Then Curly, his little plan all
worked out, walked out, went down to
his beloved Arizona, blew his coin there,
took on again as a trumpeter with the
regular army, and was wiped out in the
first big fight the army had with Geroni-
mo-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

several of the main performers refusing
to go on at the afternoon performance
without some Of the long green with
which to wipe the perspiration from their
fevered brows. They growled a lot when
that two-dollar thing was worked on them
by the proprietors, but they consented to
go on when the two brothers solemnly
promised to settle in full when the show
reached Leavenworth The employees were
pretty ugly in Topeka, too, and there was
whole lot of talk among them about turn
ing the animals loose and Sitting the
tents into ribbons IL the owners didn't
come through at Leavenworth.
This Curly Johnson person, the band
boss and cornet TANNER, seemed to be
the least bothered of the whole push over
the backwardness of salaries. He had L
bad lot in his band, and the men came
to him with hefty kicks several times a
day, but he told 'em that he wasn't the
pay clerk for the outfit. and that he'd
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23
Togo Discovers the Hope Of the White Race

Newark, N. j." snuggest Hon. JET. eff
you will promus not to tell AL Kaufman
I shall be delight to show you this
Swedish Miracle who are destinated to
make Hon. Johnson (colored) pale like
he never was"
Quickly Disgusting ourself to look like
Jewish policemen we elope away to
wild center Of N. ].
That Prof Hoolingstein, resembling
artistic statue of Hon. BENZ. Franklin
done in butter, approach to us when
We arrived in the cozy appendix near
his factory.
Hon. Prof." say Hon. JEFF, this is
Hon. Togo & Hon. Nogi. Japanese de-
tectives. They wish for to see this
White Mans Hope which you are grow
Ing so nicely here"
He is sleeping now" say Hon. Prof.
It is wonderful how he grows when
he sleeps"
What is the bigness Of this great
personality?' ask 1t.
mot sure" say Hon. Prof. "He was
10 feet inches last night before he
took his medicine. We pour a teaspoon
full Of Gigantic in his ear 3 times daily
before meals"
"Please tell us % or 80 historical
anecdotes about this Swedish Miracle
which you are nourishing." I collapse.
"TIis name was Sven Peterson before
he became a giant" say Prof. He was
employed by a magazine to write spring
poetry, and he became so thin by this
business that he could live in gas
pipe, thusly saving rent. I was very
wishful to show great power of my
Gigantic, so I hire this Swedish poet
for to take that medical drug. First
day he split his clothing with loud popp
resembling ottomobile tire. New cloth
ing for him. Second day another popp
occur. He was on 9Th Ave, N. Y, when
his suit split away and 1s policers at
10 diIcSt Aot
salome in public sidewalk. But he had
grew so much that arrest was UNI
possible. He give fist-punch to entire
police force and escape away to N. J.
wearing bear-skin robes which he
burglarized from automobiles. So here
he is, studying to be the Blond Hope
Of humanity"
While thusly we talked loud scrash
was heard from barn & one magnificent
voice holla 81 WANT MY BEEF
STEAK! %
With immediate quickness walters
approach with 2 cows sawed up into
dainty stew.
With ginger feet we make walk-in to
stable where this Swedish Miracle
incubated his strength.
OIL
What did We observe? Setting on the
floor eating Irish stew with a shovel
was one gentleman what resembled the
Statue Of Liberty's husband. His body
was covered with hard biceps.
''That cow you gave me today was
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

which must vanish Hon. Jon Johnson
forever from the OttomobiIe News"
what could it?" holla me & Nogi
with compressed souls.
y X
HE have learned how to manufacture
White Mans Hope!" missy that x
Champeen.
Deep breathing by us.
you mean-?'
II do" derange Hon. JEFF. This Prof
Hoolingstein have dishcovered how
giants can be manufactured from in
valids by merely pouring chemistry
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

cept that this projectooI IL seriously
fraxured in 1000 pieces.
-Hon. johnson (colored) can't never
debate against a head like that" ex-
claim Hon. Prof.
For Al complete minutes following this
Hon. Skyscrape Man practice light
roughness by lifting Hon. Hacken-
schmitt from his ears and poking him
through windows. at the same time he
was throwing Sandow downward &c
kneeling on his neck Nextly he put
on box-gloves and boxed with Hon.
Cannon. He done It thusly: Hon Prof.
not looking out he shoot 119 ID iron
bullet at head. But Hon. Giant seen
this first. ducked sidevise to let Hon.
Bullet pass by. and broke it with nst-
punch before It could escape.
"Objeck of training this Giant" say
Hon. Prof. lis to make a man so swift
fish that nobody can reach him and 50
strengthish that nobody can escape
from his when hit. How could that
Perfect Human get defeated?"
~
att would be impossible I redouble.
yet am faithless. lie is too good to
be true"
When Hon. Giant done this exercise
for IS complete minutes. Hon. Prof say.
Lay down. please. and took Hon.
Medicine"
Hon. Sven lay outward on hui bed OF
ostermoorish appearance. Hon. Prof.
take blond green bottle & pour ! spoon
full in ear of White Mans Hope.
With immediate quickness he slep.
He snore. All was peaceful.
We shook Prof. Hoolingstein with
hand.
Goodbye" we report. Everything
we have seen shall be repeated"
"Do you think this Sven man could
remove Hon. Johnson by fst-slap?" he
require nervely.
"Undoubtlessly he could, II careful
ly preserved I say-so. But there is
one frightened popularity about Giants
they are luscious like bananas. Will
this one keep till July ~"
While thusly VIC asked it. one inter-
ruption incurred.
BLoOMP!
1t was like 1000 yards OF mush ex-
ploding by dynamite. Hon. Stable avi-
ate upwards. and everything was scat
tered to distractions.
With one exaggerated yall Hon. Prof
fall into faints. Hon. JET walk dubful-
Iy away with Reno expression. Poor
Mr.. Prof! We revive him backwards
by rubbing his sympathetic elbows.
"What was?" he require when pos
sibIe.
Hon. Giant flew upward" I say out
90 sorrow! I thought maybe-so!" he
say it. "I gave him three drops too
often from that Gigantic and he growed
so fast that combustion bursted him."
So we depart of counting 10 rapidly
to indicate our Knockout feelings.
Hoping you are the same
Yours truly
HASHIMURA TOGO
Copyright. 1911. by the Associated Literary PressJ
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

brings a fair inheritance that
wv has come down through
changeful years; 1t is the
month Of Shakespeare's birth.
In England this month is exceptionally
beautiful; the hawthorn hedges are white
with blossoms, the purple of the violet
melts into the yellow of the primrose and
all the air is fragrant. "a day in April
never came so sweet as that which
ushered into the world, in that little town
of Stratford-on-Avon, the greatest poet
and dramatist, who belongs not only to
England, but to all nations.
1t is over three hundred years since he
lived, yet the world is still busted with
Shakespeare. His dramas are acted and
read wherever civilization extends. Every
year Stratford is visited by thousands Of
visitors, and April q the grave Of the
poet is heaped with flowers to commemo-
rate the birth of the man whom Dickens
called 1.-The great master who knew every
thing
According to the parochial register,
William Shakespeare was baptized the
26th of April. 1864, and later vicar of
Stratford made a pen note that he was
born on the 23d. This has grown into q
common belief, and though not traceable
to any authority, receives confirmation
from the prevailing custom Of christening
point which has caused much discussion.
The satirist Of the day has said that no
body cares to hear what great mans
grandmother ate; yet an illustrious name
attaches interest to "'trifies light as air
The house on Henley street in which
the great dramatist was born was hum
BILE, the chamber in which he came into
the world wretched, the walls white
washed and the light poor.
Shortly after Shakespeare's birth the
c111 1s<~t,k CArnt fArI
raging so fiercely that in six months it
carried off nearly fifth OF the popula-
ton. The destroying angel happily
passed over the home of the future dram
atiSt.
X X
OF John Shakespeare, father of Will
liam, little definite knowledge has come
down to US. Some say he was glover,
others a butcher, and Rowe, with his
usual positiveness, remarks that he was
a considerable dealer in wool" What
ever his calling, John Shakespeare was
of good repute and popular, and in 1857
held the first of a series of offices or
honor and probably OF emolument. In
that year he was appointed ale faster;
afterward burgess. constable and finally
alderman.
Rolfe. Chambers and MacFarlane each
asserts that his mother came Of good
stock, that she was an heiress and
brought her husband a small estate, in
terest in other land and two small tene-
ments.
The conditions under which great men
have been nurtured must influence the
formation of their character. so thanks
must be given to Mary Arden. mother of
Shakespeare, who first taught him the
beauty of nature and the grace Of mind
which in later life caused him to be
known as Gentle WILL"
In 1870 or 1871 William Shakespeare
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

plenty of time you can make anything
by Science"
We feel surprised to hear so much
culture spoken. by those upper-cut lips.
'Tn the University of Jersey City"
Hon. JET say-so, there is a medicinal
gentleman name Of Professor Hooling-
stein who had invented something
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

mixed UP in the human diagram 50
that-O miracle!-folks grows too big to
be convenient"
What is name Of this drug-medi-
cine?" require Cousin Nogi, who is
merely # 10 inches by Japanese
measurements.
eft is called Gigantic" report Hon.
Jas. "It is priced 100000 for six
bottles. Growing does not commence
before IL bottles are completely took"
where do this Prof Hoolingstein
manufacture his giants?" require Nogi
with peev Of tone.
"He have got one In barn back OF
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23
A TALE OF THE OLD CIRCUS MAN

feed, a shave. new celluloid collar and
smoke, Curley,' said to him. You've
been keeping cases long enough to know
that there's no win-out chance in two
spot
Oh. WE'LL he sighed. I'll take a
chance
* X
$50 I followed him into the Bon Ton,
and he walked over to a table where
dealer was shutting preparatory to run
ming out a new boxful. There were four
chubbers sitting at the table. sloughing
off fifty-cent chips. and Curly stood behind
the chair of one of them and watched the
deal for few minutes. Then he dug out
his pummy two-spot and laid 1t on the
six to COP. The six showed on the right
side after a few slip-outs, and the dealer
tossed a clean two-dollar bill beside the
messy one Curly picked up the four and
walked over to another table-there We're
nine tables in full blast in the room, for
I,eayenworth used to profit by it's near
ness to the big cattle trail, and play was
"The chips were 81 each at this second
table Curly walked up to, and he waited
for the beginning of a new box. After
watching the case-keeping or the man IN
front Of him for a while, Curly put down
his four on the six to win. The six was
the next card out on the right side, and
Curly tucked So into the palm of his left
mitt. Then he walked over to another
table, waited, as previously, for fresh
boxful, and this time he coppered the six
with his 50. The six came out his way
again. When he had repeated this stuff
until he had $3.50, and was keeping up his
walk around the tables, [ gave him the
kick on the leg.
"'Get away I said to him. You can't
make 'em turn the box, you know. You've
had your luck. Don't swine it. Come on
while you've got something
"It sure looks like this is my day.,
said he. might as we'll go through with
IT.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

XACTLY at noon
p. NJ. yesterday
Hon. Door make
knock-knock a n d
fly inwards with
excited knob.
Our nervus gaze
jumped forth to
see what was. ,
intelligent Z e q t
walk in acorn
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

into them. In the back Of each human
brain there is a slightly pickle-shaped
nerve called the tabloid artery. When
this nerve feel quiet and satisfied folks
grows to be life-size like they now Is.
But when that tabloid artery are irri-
tated by drug-medicine. then it issue
forth inflamed juice and this becomes
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23


"'Now, before I start anything in the
way Of Observation-Disclosures, in fact,
nudge even one into me- said Curly, ]
think I'll put one over on the owners OF
the show to make them come through
with the coin for all hands.
II: asked him how he was going to d.
all that, but he famed me, and invited
me to get into barouche with him. We
were driven out to the show grounds
The news of Curly's big cleanup was
got the cheer from all hands that sounded
like Hey, Rube. yelp. Curly walked
directly to the tent office of the two pro-
prietors and said How de do to them in
an offhand way, and then put his bust
ness up to them.
'Hombreys,' he said to them, you re
going to pay all hands now-right now
before the afternoon performance, amt
your
''They looked at him in establishment
They had been too busy to hear of his
luck at the faro bank.
What are you talking about?' they
asked the cOrnet player. How long have
you been spokesman for this OUTFIT
Just about minute, since came in
here replied Curly, coolly. You're going
to pay every man, woman and kid at
tached to the show every cent that you
owe them right now, before the afternoon
show, Or I'm going to get them together
in a bunch and give a free show on a
big vacant lot with all Of your people
this evening. Dye get that?'
The two brothers, figuring that Curly
was soused or insane, gave him the boot
81 mean what 1 say he told them
They'll follow me, and this town'll have
a free circus tonight, and you won't have
any circus at all if you don't pay every
one of them every sou-markee before the
first turn of the performance now due.
Beat it out Of this Office said the
two brothers, making moves as If to pull
guns.
Curly strolled out, walked around to
the dressing rooms. where all of the per-
formers were making up for the after
noon show, and he made a speech to
them.
1--we just made crack to the bosses
to have all salaries paid before the after
noon show he said. And it isn't any
bluff at that L told them that il they
didn't dig I'd get you all together. we'd
rig up a ring on vacant lot somewhere
in this mans town and give free-for-all
show to the town tonight They. gave
me the laugh. | mean it. You all stand
by me and refuse to go on unless you
get all your money, and If they don't come
to taw I'll pay all hands myself out of
the bundle 1 picked UP this morning. L
undertake TO do that. But they'll come
across. They've got two dozen money
dates ahead and they can't stand for a
breakup now. Are YOU with me?'
They let out whoop for Curly then,
and Johnson got the employees together
and made a speech to them. too. telling
them the same thing that he'd told the
performers. The two proprietors stood by
and took the whole thing in with con-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-23

There was a NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. limit
on all the tables, but Col. Jamison, the
proprietor Of the outfit. who had been
watching Curlys play with a good deal
of amusement over its palpable amateur
ishness. passed the word along to the
dealers that the limit was removed for
the circus wind TANNER. Jamison fig
ured that the cornet player couldn't help
but drop the bundle on the next play or
so with that double-up system of his.
Curly pinched $50 out of the wad and
put it away, and then he put the $500 on
the six to lose, after watching three
quarters of the boxful dished out. He
had the copper right, for the six came
out on the losing side, and the dealer
pushed 500 on Curly's pile.
is the limit OFF, johnson asked the
proprietor.
"Jamison nodded. and Curly dropped his
500 on the six to lose again. 1t came
that way again. That made Curly $500
strong.
IT couldn't take chance on trying to
drag the husky out, but | did a lot of
undertone talking to him then. 1t was
no use. I couldn't stand to actually see