The Falls City tribune., 1911-03-31

enough folks from back home will
come to visit him 10 carry back the
glad tidings.
Next to mining stock. the patent
right probably is about the flimsiest
foundation oa which 10 build your
hopes.
When a woman says she is get
ting too old to attend dances her
feelings are hurt if she is not con
tradicted.
What las become Of the old
fashioned men whose Vermont kin
sent him a consignment of real
maple sugar?
After a boy grows up. he begins
to be grateful because, as a boy,
he lacked the nerve 10 run AWAY
with a circus; every boy has been
tempted.
A man who holds a job a long
time in one place might possibly do
better elsewhere, but he isn't the
n who makes that possibility his
principal topic of conversation.
An Atchison girl. who married an
out of town man, has come back.
Her husband told her he had a bunga
low waiting for her. but the bungo-
low proved to be a shanty.
Although it is not recorded that
any of them ever tried it, it is our
theory that a politician could make a
good many votes by liminiting his
speech to fifteen minutes.
A boys idea of a good time differs
q good deal from the notion of an
old mar about similar matters. And
the old mar has a way of seeming
wonderfully yirtuous because he does
not indulge in a lot of foolishness
which no longer appeals to him.
The dentists ought to double their
prices during the spring Onion sea
son.
Everyone over estimates the value
of relics.
Every man, however, would use tn
veto power a good deal, if he had it.
1t is generally said of a really pref
ty girl that she has a terrible tenn
per.
Nothing is as easy as it seems to
the merchant who is sending a sol
icitor out.
Eggs are cheap enough, what the
ultimate is crying for is a
hen which will also lay bacon.
Whenever you have to put up
money to save an Investment it gem
orally means that you will loose it.
Regardless of popular tradition and
the funny papers, a goat isn't near
ly as dangerous a beast as the dog.
When a man wears an oyercoat
While the thermometer registers 60,
he is a victim Of habit or i'll health
Parents worry too much about
choosing 'lsir Toys life work, since
the boy us4ally selects it for hin
S..
reputation for wisdom with the fact
that he got married SO often.
Perhaps you have noticed that
married men and sirgle men Gra
about equally eager to share a seat
in a car with a pretty girl.
A young man who has been polish
ing up On loye-making forgets the
art as soon as he gets married-if he
is a respectable husband.
No man has ever been able to
make a match or a toothpick take
the place of a cigar; cigarettes are
about the only cure for the tobacco
habit.
What has become of the old-fash-
toned person whose idea of modesty
was a refer to a bull as a gentleman.
With the average r@eereant if it
wasn't whiskey it would be somethin
else.
1t doesn't pay as a general rule
to make children and collars work
overtime.
A good many men continue to con
slider a bet an unanswerable argu-
ment.
Quarreling will spoil a good appe-
tfte quicker than anything else in
the world.
Anarchy isn't very well organized
but it seems to be a good deal like
war in other respects.
Every woman thinks there is some
man in the world who couldn't get
along without her.
Someone must prove to us that
the second hundred dollars comes any
easier than the first.
Every man likes to use that old eX-
preston that he never ~forgives an
injury or forgets a friend.
Men laugh at boys quarreling over
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