The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1911-01-07
THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY
OF A RUBPERNECK
BY Richard Henry Little.

Chicago is the happy hunting
ground on the rubberneck. In no other
city are there more opportunities to
rubber than right here. A rubberneck
has no fun il he has to rubber all
alone. Half of the JOY of rubbering is
to push ones way through a whole
lot of other rubbernecks and stand in
front of them and block their view of
the strange sight which is attracting
attention.
In Chicago there are so many rub
bernecks that II takes great deal
Of pushing and showing and much di-
plomacy to gain the point of vantage
in the front row and be recognized by
the rest of the crowd as the rubber
neck king. The holiday season has
brought in large crowds from out of
town who viii all carry visiting cads
to our local rubbernecks' union, No.
I, and "the chase, as we rubbernecks
term the struggles for the front row,
is unusually existing.
In my walks around the loop dis
trict yesterday found great deal
of thrilling interest to rubbernecks,
and large numbers of our brothers
and sisters in attendance at each one.
One of the biggest rubberneck mass
meetings | attended was in front of
new "Crusoe in the pan, slaughter in
NJ e,t,
street, near Dearborn. People stood
four or five deep in front of the big
plate glass windows.
Knocking down two old women and
stepping heavily on the foot of a fat
man i managed to gain an entrance
into the crowd. BY a brilliant sortie
! squeezed past sixteen men who
blocked my way and then by jabbing
boy in the eye with the end Of my
cane ! managed to push my way in
to the front row, with the loss of only
three buttons from my coat.
Paying no attention to the threats
of the fat man who dared me to come
w INC diits anu iibh' iiht q
man, settled down to the full enjoy.
ment of the strange sight before me.
And, certainly, it was spectacle
that any rubberneck would enjoy.
This is what | beheld Four men
were actually making battercakes on
gas stoves right in front of me. II
was marvellous sight. The mer
would mix up a batter in earthen Jars
and then drip the spongy mass from
big tin spoons on to the hot ironi
where the batter cakes cooked
| stood there for an hour feastinj
my eyes on this thrilling scene Will,
hundreds of other rubbernecks Tough
and jostled behind me and envied m
my splendid position right in tn
front row.
| could have remained in front @
the window watching the battercalJ
barbecue all the afternoon, but
heard a lady rubberneck behind m
whisper something about a place sh
knew of where man in drug stor
window was showing off pater
razor that could shave with after
had been used to split kindling. Sh
talked little too loud and | slid ha
tily away from the battercake spe
tacle and logged If didn't get owe
to the drug store first.
charged the crowd in front of tn
drug store so hard that ! almost wei
right through the place glass windoN
behind which the man with the patei
razor was giving his exhibitions. IN
man had just put up a sign, 81 Wi
Now Dull the Razor" and he pickle
up small pine board and held Il
razor above it ready to bring it dow
and split off a big shaving so as
show how your wife could use tn
razor for choppiqg wood. and pa
ing corns, and sharpening pencils, N
everything, and still it would be rea,
for shaving without the aid of chi
reform the next day.
Some rubberneck tried TO slide
between me and the window With
dcrt movement ! brought the end
my cane down on the fot of the
terloper. BY great good luck stru
his fayorite corn, He jumped right
in the air and let out howl of mise
that could have been heard mi
The razor demonstrator inside t
window was just bringing down t
razor on the stick OF pine wood. p
howl and the jumping of the man
front of me disconnected the demo
strator and he brought the razor rig
down on his thumb and got a good C
And there was me. right in
front row. 1t was splendid sight
saw real blood on the mans thur
and ] saw the drug store clerk bri