Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-11-25

and I shall say to him, Archie, when
you were a poor young man, I was
your friend-you'u not desert me
now
Gentlemen, my motto has always
been, Never say die It is not yet
too late for me, Don't think it And
-and-when I an president III
show you a thing or two. II the first
place-loving my ease and meaning
to choose ny own COMPANY shall
put a stop to the altaround-the-circle
Handwriting business. No more peri
patettc ng-shooting ar
rows into the air. No more White
house eceptions-levees, aping roy
atty, they call them at Washington
No more oficeseeking rushes IN mine.
Access to the executive mansion
may be obtained only by card, or
countersighted appointment I shah
at once abrogate the civil service law,
abolish the civil service commission
and give General Black and his in
teresttng colleagues - houJs to gtN
out Of town. Then I VIII recreare
the official fabric IN my own likeness
and I'LL the places OF honor and trust
and profit to suit myself according to
the merit system OF my personal
preference and regard. Let them call
IL favoritism' as much as they
please. None but friends tried and
true viii De allowed to hang about
tho premises. The letters that spell
the word 'nepotism' shall be dropped
from the alphabet
Il will dissolve both parties No
mans cOat-no party label-shall
stand betwixt me and any good fell
low. Being a devotee Of peace, and
in favor Of arbitration and the two
Taft treaties with England and
France, I viii take Mr. Turk and Mr..
Dago each by the scruf Of the neck
and pitch them into the Nediterran-
can sea, and hoist the stars and
stripes over TripoH,
q Will readjust our loose currency.
No more poverty. viii emasculate
the trusts. j. Pierpont' and John
D. shall roar so gently that even
William Jennings Bryan shall say
let them roar again Every man
shall have his pockets crammed with
treasury certificates; because my
system Of fiscal reform-as simple I
and as dead easy as falling off a log
putting Aldrich and his monetary /
commission to blush-will be to es-
innate the exact value Of all the gold
and silver in the earth and issue /
legal tender notes for the full
amount; saving the expense of min
ing, minting and transportation; saw
ing argument, time and trouble In .
short, I viii make Teddy green with .
envy. and old Taft to turn over in .
his sleep and murmur, Lord. why /.
didn't I think Of it?'
Yet, softly! These things are 8 /
long ways off. Your AIarse Henry
is cen young yet. In the meantime
the country is not going TO the dogs
no matter what the trust magnates
and the politicians say. The present
occupant Of the White house is the
peer of the best of his predecessors
in elevated character. high and noble
purpose and patriotic intention. /
am admonished by the Scottish bard
that
- friend may tax q reebor's part,
Yet has nae vote TO spare him"
and this I wish to bear witness Of our
guest tonight, that as the old lady at
he mourner's bench said when asked
II she did not love the Lord, its
mighty comfor-iC' to have him around
Last spring when q darksoue cloud
lrose upon our southern border I was
n a foreign land. There were obvi-
JUS dangers and many and omiuous