The Washington bee., 1911-10-28
RUSSIA'S JESTER,
BaIakireff Is the Joe Miller of the
MuSC0ViteS.
HIS WIT TICKLES THE BEAR.
He Was the Court Fool That Many a
Time Braved the Anger Of Peter the
Great-His Miracle OF the Sword and
a Wondrous Deed Of Daring.

Every nation has its typical jester.
around whom crystallize all the float
| ing stories Of a people. Thus England
has its Joe Miller, Germany it's Till
| Eulenspiegel, Italy its PunchineIlo, the
orient its Nasreddin el KhOia and
Russia its Balakireff. Like Joe Mil
Ter, the last was a real character.
/ though not all the jokes credited to
| him were his own. Some were inven-
tons Of a later age; others were Dor
| rowed from the past. He shares the
credit for many of the latter with Joe
Miller and EuIenspiegel.
History records that Balakireff was
the favOrite jester of Peter the Great.
Tradition represents him as the con
stant company of that czar, frequent
ly exercising his wit at royal expense.
One day, for example, a cousin of his
had fallen under the czar's displeasure
and was sentenced to death. Balaki-
ref undertook TO obtain a reprieve.
The czar guessed his errand even be-
fore he opened his mouth.
MOI he cried IT'S no use your
coming here. | swear that l viii not
grant what you are going to askP'
Balakireff dropped at once to his
knees. Peter Alexeivitch," he cried.
Il pray you, put to death that scamp
of a cousin of miner'
Peter, thus caught in his own trap,
had no choice but to laugh and send
a pardon to the culpTit
On another occasion Balakireff ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
his masters domestic guards. Peter
consented for the sake Of the joke,
but warned his jester that death was
the penalty if any officer Of the
guards absented himself from his post
or mislaid his sword. Then to test
the volunteer he sent him up a fagOn
Of wine TO ''mOiSten his commission" ="
Balakireff, as was expected. drank TO
the intoxicating point. While he was
sleeping off his debauch the cZaT him
self crept into the room and carried
OF his sword from the scabbard. Bala-
kireff, though badly scared, on awak-
ing made shift to replace the missing
weapon with his own wooden imita-
ton of the gUaTdsmen's sword. He
was called to parade next morning,
when Peter feigned hot Indignation
at the untidiness of one of the guards.
Captain Balakiref." he cried at last,
draw your sword and cut off the head
of that slovenr'
BaIakireff cast his eyes up TO heav-
en- "Oh, merciful Cod" he prayed,
grant that my sword may turn into
wood before l use it on one of my own
fellow sOldiersr'
And, 10, when he unsheathed it the
blade stood revealed as a wooden one.
Peter laughed heartily at the knaVe's
presence of mind and restored him 10
favor.
4 more serious offense resulted in
the Punishment of the jester. gNeyer
dare to appear again on Russian soilr'
stormed the emperor Judge then OF
Peters surprise when. a week later
be beheld his old favorite cOOlly driv-
ing a cart past the palace.
How dare you disObey me-" shout
ed the enraged monarch. Did 7 not
forbid you ever to show yourself on
Russian sOil?'
Nay" replied Balakireff, Il have
not disobeyed you This is not Rus
sian soil"
How say yOu-nOt Russian soil2'
Truly not This carload Of earth
on which I am sitting is Swedish soil
dug it mp in Finland only the other
day"
Again the cz8r laughed uprOariOusly
and readmitted his buffoon to favor.
Some historians add that when he
heard the excuse he said. IF Finland
be Swedish soil now it shall be Rus
sian before long" a threat he was not
slow to fulfill
This story, however. was an old one
long before the time Of Balakiref. It
forms the twenty-seventh adventure
Of Till Eulenspieeel, who is reputed 20
have died in 1850 Having offended
the Duke Of Lunenberg, Till was for
hidden the land" He purchased a shil-
ling's worth Of earth to iii his cart
with, and, being duly challenged by the
duke, he answered:
my gracious lord, I am not in your
land, but in mine own, wherein I do
SIT. bought it Of a bOOr for shil-
ling. And rightfully could he sell Il.
for from his forefathers he inherited
It. So is this truly my land"
At the close Of one Of Gar Peters
Balakireff overheard some
Russian officers bOasting Of exploits
they had performed.
Nay" be cried. Il can tell a better
story than any Of you" And. being
pressed for the story, be continued:
"Never have liked this modern way
Of fighting all in a body together.
Surely it would be more manly for
each to stand by himself Therefore
went | out alone in search Of adveU-
-Ures. One day while reconnOitering
near the enemy's outposts l espied a
Swedish soldier lying on the ground.
Before be could rise and give the
alarm [ rushed upon him and with
me blow from my sword cut of mis-
light foot"
You fOOi"' cried one of his auditors
Why did yOu not cut off his haadg,,