davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

The governments victory in th,
suit against the "bathtub trust" will
be joyfully received by those
Americans. who insist upon using the
bathtub occasionally, whether the%
need ii or not
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17
She Flew.

Miss Fullosoul tof poetlcal turn
Which are you of opinion one should
cay, professor" summer flies" or
summer f1ees?"
Absent-Minded Professor (great on
entomology THE two species, my.
dear young lady, are entirely distinct.
Now the common house fy-- (Then
he wondered why she suddenly opened
conversation with the young man
on her right Sphere
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17
UNCLE WALT
THE POET PHILOSOPHER

Great have lived and don,
Just ike the rnn and still the world
hcotnG by, the old way, across sky,
THE GREAT MEN the night
when all swelsd I'm ike a poisoned pup.
tha Wheh come to eroak the will
he universe be out whack
realize that all the planets
that rains Will fall and winds will blow.
ana rme and snow when have jumped the
under stand that am but grain
one sign and nothing more All
deeds the histories
each had little bolt
Just kept fling There doesn't
ne s neil leave hole In this old friend
Death cannot be beat at taking bis chunks the
race
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

From the standpoint Of proper
spelling of names of persons and
places. that Chinese rebellion will be
Just as hard for the telegraph editor
to cover as the affair" between Tur-
key and Italy.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

President Taft. according to tele-
graphic dispatches, Is defending his
policies in Oregon. Seems like Bill
has been on the defensive ever since
he started on his l3,ooe-mile jour
ney.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

The reckless motorists and those
who are insolent both In demands and
manner to the general public are do
Ing much to provoke antagonism
which will react on the whole sport of
uutomobiling. says the Baltimore
American. There are large number
of autcmobilists who operate their ma
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

A practical joker at Atlantic City
wanted TO scare the crowd with an
imitation OF drowning man. II took
an hour to restore him after the scare
had become a real one, The water Is
an element which does not lend itself
kindly to this peculiar form OF humor.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

In England patent has been
granted for al airship, which the in%a
ventor says will be invisible at the
height $4,000 feet England prob
ably will use the invention in en-
forcing the new peace pact.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

Ireland has discovered cure for
hay fever, which heretofore has baf
fed medical science. II is the
"hig drum cure" and is provided foi
the patients at tie ,Fdinderry infrm-
airy The cure is administered in the
following manner: AS a prelim
mary. tract Of land adjacent TO the
inflrmary is obtained. and for a weeR
there is continual hammering by a
corps OF carpenters. Then an assort-
ment of base drums and brazen in
strumeuts are cbtained. and Tor a
week there is continual hammering
Of both the brazen instruments and
the base drums Another week Of
hammeling ls provided to complete
the cure" After carefully reading
the directions what is your YER
dict? ..4 "A
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

A rich woman from New York an
grily declined to become patron OF
Los Angeles hotel when she was in
formed that her doggie would not be
permitted to receive massage treat
ments in the barber shop. Aren't
some hotel keepers independent!
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

Special notice for the benefit of
members Of the Anti-Cigarette.
League: One million dollars worth
ofsscigarettes were destroyed severaf
days ago In Washington, u. c.. when
tobacco company's warehouse
burned
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

Announcement that million dol
lar dam Is being built In Minnesota,
will not create half 50 much interest
now as it would have d month ago
Recent dam accidents have had a
tendency to greatly dampcn dam en-
thusiasm.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

Murder will cease to be the
favorite pastime in the vicinity of
Jonesboro, Tenn, for the time being.
A murderer was tried and sentenced
to death in one day. thereby demon
strating to persons with homicidal
-tendencies, that they either will have
10 reform. or move to some other
state.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

The suffregattes in Massachusetts,
are following the guberatorial caudi-
didate for the Republican party from
place to place, asking him to explain
why there is no equal suffrage plank
in his platform. And yet it Is said
no man has more troubles than a
visiting baseball umpire!
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17
As Far az He Knew.

81 say, Mlllyuns, Is your wife a
blonde?"
"She was when she left home for
the summer, and haven't seen any,
thing to the contrary In the society
papers"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

The hoy banker" under convic-
tion in Lewistown, H., for misap-
playing the funds Of his bank, Is the
most probable successor of Banker
John r. Walsh, formerly resident
OF the federal penitentiary at Fort
Leavenworth, Kan
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

~, MINNESOTA Agricultural Scnooi
intends TO teach farming to clergy
men. This Is one means of sending
forth laborers into the harvest.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

Tommy what did you do with the
pennies gave you for taking your
medicine'"
Il bought bun with one OF them
ma, and | give Jimmy the other ia
drink the medicine for me -Tid.Bita
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

of the report Of the Vice Commission
Of Chicago, held up recently because
of the nature of the contents. Chi
cago isn't SUCH bad city after all
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

One OF the aviators succeeded In
saving his life by falling on hay
stack. What this country needs at
once is more haystacks,
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

Einor Glyn has written new
novel, the title of which is WHY
After a careful persual of the novel.
we repeat, Why"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17
III
That's Why.
my lord" appeals
To most of us.
Because It's so
Altisonous.
Lano,ahln Idea.

Docter--You are now convalsecent
and all you need Is exercise. You
should walk ten or twenty miles day,
cir but your walking should have an
object. ~ :
Patient--All right, doctor, I'll travel
around trying to borrow enough to
gay your bill.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17
Literary Gossin.

But" objected the purists, there
is no such thing as a mutual friend"
Il say there is such thing. impa-
tiently reiterated Dickens. I'm writ
ing book about one!"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17
Circulation Statement.

Average number Of complete
and perfect copies Of The
Cairo Bulletin printeddaily
and Sunday during the
year 1910 ............ 1897
Average number of complete
emp perfect copies of The
Cairo Bulletin prirteddaily
and Sunday during the
month OF September 1911 zoos
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

The Federal District Court of Ohio
has ordered the dissolution of the
electric trust Shocking!
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17
|ZzekTT6HEN
= 1MA1zM STif
| aGt5 1A

HEN thou dost tell another's
Jest, therein
Omit the oaths. which true wit cannot
need;
Pick out of tales the mirth, but not the
sin
He pares his apple that will clearly feed
George Herbert.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17
A Hard Rufl1p.

I'd hate to be an airnan
And heres the reason why:
No nets are meath an airman
who tumbles from the sky.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

rrisoner-.ln regard 10 the ev'
6ence. your honor, you'l pardon me
II say few words
Judge You're mistaken. | would
10, pardon You shoaid YOU talk for
week Three months. Next case. OF.
fcer
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

Postmaster Campbell ~ Chicago
has received an order instructing him
To permit the mailing OF 1900 copies
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

Don't take that fellow on your foot
ball team He's chronic crouch"
"But what We want L. good kich
,e.,'
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17
The Orphan.

Have the Flitterbouts come back to-
town YETI"
NO. Why do you ask"
II was just wondering how much
longer we viii have TO feed their cat. .,
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17
U'6,'r D. t1rShit
'Tvhat profit hath he that worketh in that
wherein he laboreth?"- Eccittiattfi, iii, 9.

My you he work you o. there's something keep mnd
No mater how little pleases YOU don't call I'll. Ga grind
Don't tell Of The tasks that you dpk,. erunl, sorry fate
There never was work st hands that hal rsh hate;
isn't the work; It int the hne tolns from o
That III. eyes them who es how the labor don.
A. you say its daily grind that you hate your work.
That moment the imp Incidence shows you how you may hn
Tha, you lose good that you ought quit
For the work that you friend you while you friend
And you called .ayih task and named the daily grind"
Your work that will catch your feet and you fall behind
My finish your you finish task alone
And work done with friendly hand will change stepping
VIII carry you the barring Of The cnss slough
And lift where put hand the work that
Ii will help you along the heights you seek will bring you your goal
But when you dee the daily grind viii grind both and
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-10-17

We nominate Woodrow Wilson for
the presidency and Champ Clark for
the vice presidency-Atlanta Geor-
gian
This isn't such bad suggestion,
but how will Champ feel about the
second fiddle performing part Of
It?
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14
BIG FAILURE Is HALTED
Creditors Take Hold OF c. w. Jackson
Nnc.)-Debts Put at
100000.

Chicago Creditors OF George w.
Jackson Gnc) have swooped down
upon that contracting concern. the
largest Of its kind in the west.
and will attempt to take control OF
{ and head Of bankrupt proceedings.
The liabilities OF the firm are esti-
mated at more than $1,000. 900, but
friends Of Mr.. Jackson asserted that
the concern was solvent and that the
assets we're ample. provided contracts
under way could be pushed TO compile
ton.
Milton J. Foreman OF Foreman, Lev
in & Robertson. counsel for the cred
itors' committee. said there was not
the slightest doubt that every creditor
would be paid In full. IL the ready cash
could be raised at once and the firm
kept going.
The company has been expanding
so rapidly" Mr. Foreman said. that IT
has used up it's available capital for
equipment and cannot pay labor and
other debts necessary to carry on its
business. II the company is thrown
into the hands Of a receiver a contract
Of S1.500.00O for a water aqueduct in
New York might be forfeited The
company has on hand other large con
tracts which must be completed. and
the hope of the creditors is to keep
the business going without any delay
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14
LINER IRENE IS FL0ATED
Steamer Is lowed to New York by
Tuss-Not Believed She is Badly
Damaged.

New York-The Princess Irene vas
worked clear Sunday afternoon OF the
sands OF Fire Island and seven hours
later anchored of Sandy Hook light
ship 10 await daylight before coming
to the North German Lloyd Steamship
company's piers at Hoboken.
a heavy sea. an unusually high
tide. supplemented by intelligent con-
certed effort upon the part of the
steamship officers and wrecking tug
men accomplished a task that seemed
almost a miracle
The steamship did not come to
Sandy Hook under her own steam, but
was towed by wrecking tugs A twist
ed or warped rudder post. so far as
can be ascertained IS the only damage
done 70 the ship. The Princess Irene
viii go 70 Newport News. Va. where
she viii 90 in dry dock for thorough
inspection
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14

The form OF Curtiss biplane which
travels on the water and land as well
as in the air is winning admiration
al San Diego. The machine is a
standard biplane equipped with BIZ
cycle wheels and a pontoon about
three feet wide By twelve feet in
length placed Immediately beneath
the aviator with it's long axis at
right angles 10 the planes. At the
extrcmitles OF the lower plane are two
small triangular copper tanks. whose
function IS 10 prevent the planes
from cutting too deeply into the wa
ter. Mr. Curtiss seems 10 have
thought OF everything but a name
for his novel craft. The suggestion
that It be known as the hydroterro-
aeroplane shows closer acquaintance
with the classics than with the habit
OF the American people 70 insist upon
cutting long words short
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14
COOPER IS GIVEN THE VOTE
lnsureent Republicans Support Wis
eonsin Man.-Receives Sixteen
Votes for Speaker

Washington.-The vote for speaker
OF the house indicates that the insur-
gent Republicans will maintain a sep
arate working organization during the
special session of congress.
Although not nominated for speak
er Mr.. Cooper OF Wisconsin received
10 votes for that Office and Mr.. Norris
OF Nebraska was given one vote.
which was cast by Mr. Cooper Messrs
Norris and Madison OF Kansas voted
with the regular Republicans for Mr..
Mann.
Those who voted for Mr. Cooper
were: Akin. New York; Anderson.
Davis. Lindbergh. Minnesota: David.
son. kopp, Nelson. Morse and Len
root. Wisconsin: La Toilette. warbur.
ton. Warrington and Kent. California:
Murdoch and Jackson. Kansas; Lat
ferty. Oregon. French. Idaho.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14
WOMAN AT HEAD OF REBELS
Band OF Several Hundred is Lead BY
Daughter Of General
Canuto Neri.

Mexico City.-According to the FL
Heraldo the daughter OF Gen. Canuto
Neri of Guerrero. once rebel him
self. is at the head Of a band OF sew
eral hundred insurrectos
La Neri" organized her force OF
insurrectos in Guerrero. her native
state. but during the first days OF this
week she and her followers rode
across the boundary into the state OF
Morelos The war loving young
woman has not yet engaged in battle.
but has co.tented herself with riding
from ranch to ranch and enlisting re-
cruits. In this she is said to have
been remarkably successful
Ignorant OF the character OF the
measures the government may be ia
king TO effect an agreement of peace
with the rebels. unofficial Mexico was
Inclined 10 be a bit more pessimistic
regarding the immediate future
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14

members of their party. their right to
assignment 10 important committees
and 10 be consulted in the manage
ment OF party affairs in the upper
house. prevented the caucus from end
Ing in bad blood.
Martin was chosen after a ballot
was cast. receiving 2l votes and Shive-
~ Of Indiana Is. with three senator's
absent This was the first time with
in the past l6 years at least that a bal.
lot was required 10 determine the
cfairmanship of the caucus and Sena-
tor Bacon expressed the hope II
would be the last. Martin was noml-
mated by Clarke OF Arkansas and
Shively by John W. Kern. Among the
is men, all classed as progressive
Democrats VINO voted for Shively as
against Martin. was Senator OGor-
man.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14
PRIEST AGAIN FAINTS
WTOZzl CAUSES SENSATION IN
cAMoRRI TRIAL.
Judge Suspends Court-Orders Prison
er to Break His Fast With ToIks
OF Six Eggs.

Viterbo. - The trial Of the Sc
Camorrists accused OF the murder
OF Gennaro Cuoccolo and his wife
came to a dramatic climax when Giro
Vitozzi, the accused priest, tainted
during the bitter examination which
he was forced to face
The hearing was suspended when
VitoZzi, weakened by a self-imposed
fast of IS hours. which affected him
mentally as well as physically. fell to
the floor in faint He had just de-
nounced the judiciary for his alleged
persecution in prison and. as IL TO eX-
cite sympathy cried out that he had
not tasted food for two days This
statement had a contrary effect on
President Bianchi. who suspended the
sitting Immediately and sternly or
dered that Vitozzi break his fast with
the yolks OF six eggs.
Vitozzi. shortly before his collapse.
said that a lock of his mothers hair
which he had kept with him in his
cell had been taken away by the mag
istrates. who said II belonged TO a
woman companion Of the priests. He
invoked the soul OF his mother TO sup
port his statement
During the fit OF weeping with
which he was directly seized he col
lapsed and was carried from the court
room by his physician and the car
bineers
Another incident that may have a
strong influence on the ultimate de-
cision of the jury was the petition OF a
large number of Neapolitan citizens
that they be allowed 10 be heard as
witnesses at the trial Their petition
presented 10 President Bianchi de-
clared that they had paid blackmail
to the Camorra for several years.
If the prisoners are acquitted" the
petition stated. scores of Neapolitans
will have 10 quit the country to save
their lives and property"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14
REASONED IT OUT
And Found Change In Food Put
Him Right.

A man does not count as wasted the
time he spends in thinking over bis
business, but he seems 10th 20 give
the same sort OF careful attention %
himself and TO his health. And yet
his business would be worth little
without good health to care for H.
business man tells how he did him
self good by carefully thinking over
his physical condition. investigating 70
find out what was needed, and then
changing to the right food.
For some years | had been bother
ed a great deal after meals. My iooa
seemed to lay like lead in my stomach.
producing heaviness and dullness ana
sometimes positive pain. OF course
this rendered me more or less unil
for business. and made up my nina
that something would have to be done
Reflection led me to the conclusion
that over-eating. filling the stomach
with indigestble food. was responsive
for many Of the ills that human fesh
endures. and that was punishins
myself in that way-that was Whal
was making me so dull, heavy and uh'
comfortable, and unfit for business
after meals. concluded to try Grape
Nuts food to see what 1t could do TT
me.
II have been using IL for some
months now. and am glad to say tha'
do not suffer any longer after meas
my food seems to assimilate easily
and perfectly and to do the work 10
which II was intended.
II have regained my normal weignr
and find that business is a pleasure
once moroccan take more interest y
II. and my mind Is clearer and mo'o
alert"
Name given by Postum Co. Bate
Creek, Mich.
Read The Road 10 WellviIa, !"
pkgs. There's Reason"
Ever read the above letter.
enc sppears FROM time IN time
are genuine, true, and full Oh
Interest
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14
l20 MINERS DIE IN BLAST
Georgia Convict Laborers Are Caught
In Explosion-8ut Ten Bodies
Recovered.

Sanner, Alan official statement
given out here Sunday says that 12O
men were killed by Saturdays explo-
sion in the Banner coal mines.
They include two white and three
negro free men and III negro and ~
white convicts But ten bodies have
been recovered. Relief work was in
terfered with by many rescuers being
overcome by black damp and having
to be dragged out
The Banner mines are in the west
ern part OF Jefferson county They
are owned by the Pratt Consolidated
Coal company and are worked by
convicts. hired from the various coun-
ties through the state.
The explosion came at $40 a. m. II
IS believed powder set fire to dust. As
the fan was destroyed. black damp
quickly spread over the mine.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14
CARTER HARRISON is VICTOR
Is Elected Mayor OF Chicago for Fifth
Time-Has Plurality OF f7,132-
Drys Win In Indiana.

Chicago.-By a plurality OF l7.13a
Carter II. Harrison was elected for
the fifth time mayor of Chicago. lie
won over Charles f. Merriam. his Re.
publican rival
The complete returns give Har-
rison l77.923, Merriam 1C0.79l. Rodri.
quez (Soc) 22.294: Brubaker. (ProD
2,s7l: Prince. (Scc Labor. 1913.
Henry Stuckart. Democrat. was elect.
ed as city treasurer and Francis ID.
Connery, Democrat, city clerk.
lndianapolis.-Two county seats in
Indiana Tuesday voted against the re.
admittance Of saloons In a local OBJ
ton election in Frankfort. the seat
Of Clinton county. the "drys" won by
a majority OF 1856. and in Sullivan.
the seat Of Sullivan county. they won
BY SO.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14
ROOSEVELT NOT A CANDIDATE
Colonel Declares He is Not an Asplr-
ant for Presidency or Any
Other Office.

Spokane Wash. Theodore Roose-
welt made his first public declaration
regarding his possible candidacy for
the presidency at luncheon given In
his honor Saturday by the Commercial
club
Il am not an aspirant for anything
because ! have had everything" he
said NO other man alive has had
II don't know whether | ought 10 use
this smile In the presence OF the
chaplain but am going to take
chances--no other man alive has had
such a good run for his money"
The colonel declared he was making
his western tour for no other purpose
than 10 thank the people who elected
him to the presidency
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-04-14
Preventing a Disturbance.

Colonel Scotchem was weary. ie
had had a very arduous day retreatin-
from the enemy. and he wished to I'll
coup his strength in order that De-
might retreat still further on the NOR
row.
MACPHERSON. he said 10 his new
servant. I'm going to snatch for
winks sleep. Stay in my tent ana
see that I'm not disturbed"
Mac saluted. Five minutes later the
snores OF Colonel Scotchem were cut
short by the loud report Of a gun.
Great Scott" cried the colonel
Are the enemy upon us"
INA. dinna fret" replied Mac, in
sorting his head reassuringly through
the tent flap. sit was only a wee
mousie. But as I thought he might
wake you UP shot him. Answers.