davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
KANSAS COMAENT
HANDoUT FOR MANUEL.

Portugal has agreed to pay her ex-
king pension of $1,000 a month,
yielding to the persuasion of England
and other countries which have royal
families in good standing. THESE coun-
tries, or the rulers thereof, doubtless
feel that the whole institution of roy
atty would be cheapened if a king
were permitted to chase around with
patched pants. But the amount of the
pension Indicates that the new govern
ment OF Portugal is an easy mark and
1t VIII be wonder if the groaning tax
payers don't file protest. 1t would
De all right to pay Manuel enough to
keep him IN meal tickets, but to hand
MIN big roll every month is dis
gushing, even at this distance.
Meanwhile the king of Spain is do
ing his best to bring his trade into
deeper disrepute. He had better luck
than he deserved when he went hunt
ing for a wife, and married a pretty
and sensible woman who had more at
fractions than the royal girls usually
have. The reports indicate that he has
treated her shamefully, and she is pack
ing up her goods and chattels, intend
ing to return to her native land and
stay there.
We, the people of this country have
some grievances, or think we have, and
ever and anon we take the war path,
demanding changes and reforms; but
we should never cease being thankful
and jubilant that we are not pestered
with alecky kings.-Emporia Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
HYHAWKER JOTS

The Sedgwick Pantagraph would
never hear anything but whispers, SO 1t
says, if money was the only thing that
talked.
There ought to be no trouble, thinks
the Sterling Bulletin, starting Sub
ordinate lodge of the Ananlas Oruer
at Topeka this winter
Take a cheerful, hopeful view, urges
the Emporia Gazette. You may nave
YOUR troubles and trials, but you are
not a backbone of winter.
It occurs to Miss Carlson, of the
Lindsborg News. that an emergency
hospital where wounded FEELINGS coulo
be treated, would help some.
oh. horrorsi Private advices to the
Fmporia Gazette lead it to state that
ION eof these days Dorothy Arnold VIII
come back and give a series OF public
readings.
It is very foolish. yet innocent
amusement to sit around and tell what
the weather is going to be. remarks
the Americus Greeting. It doesn't
hurt any one or make any difference
with the weather.
Most married women are cruel in
sists the Hill City Republican and II
explains: They prove that by con-
stantIy reminding man OF a lot OF
fool promises he made before mar
riage.
nudge Rupenthal writes this one in
the Iuray Herald: 1t is fairly easy
to get divorce, but some people mag
inc it much simpler than 1t IS A
woman recently wrote to a Judge:
"Send me a divorce. want to take up
land"
Sycamore Springs, Brown county,
claims to be the coolest place in the
state in summer. We had always sup
posed the coolest place in Kansas was
kansas avenue, Topeka, when Senator
Curtis is home for his vacation ano
happens to meet Governor STUDIOS
Osborne Farmer.
It is reported that a state game
warden has been up to stockton and
arrested a number of men and boys
for spearing fish. OF course there Is
no danger of such a thing happening
sold here have all climbed out on the
bank to get out of the cold water and
then froze to death.-Cawker Ledger
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
TFrom the Philadelphia Record


ANY man would be tempted to raise
the deuce in a poker game.
When fellow is as stubborn as a
mule he frequently makes an ass of
himself.
1t is quite natural to feel put out
when you realize that you have been
taken in
Quoter-.Man is made of dust" Guz-
zler-.I wonder if that's the reason I
am always dry?"
Nell-..Tillie Tightwad reminds me
of a clinging vine" BELIEVES, es-
pecially in the way she holds onto a
dollar
Some people have SO little confidence
in themselves that they really don't
think they could plan house better
than an architect.
When they get to heaven some peo-
pie will be almost as much surprised to
ind certain other people there as the
certain other people will be to find
them
Old0ach-"Do you believe in heredi-
tary inf1uences?" Youngpop-HSure;
now. my baby is wakeful at night, and
1 fully believe it is just because my
wife always insisted on sitting up and
waiting for me to come home"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

them. and without word he swune
himself into a shade tree close az
hand and then reached down for the
widow and drew her up beside MIN.
There was q below and CRASH
and the bull was with them. he
frisked He paved. He beloved. he
ripped bark from the tree with ms
s.He can't get at u.s. said the
widower, as he put his arm around
the widow.
It was thinkin'." she replied, as she
laid q hand on his.
what about ?'
"You amt dressed up, nor neither
We are UP a tree and an old bull pei
lering for our lives. Jasper. this am i (.
romance. It amt dignity. There ain
a speck of sentiment in it, but
But what. sarah 2"
"But If you want me am yours!-
copyrighted 1911 by Associated Lit
erary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
TRY1NG 10 CURE DIVORCE.

Illinois is considering proposal
Tat no decree of divorce shall be
granted except where the state has
been represented by a states attorney
at the hearing. 1t embodies the law
now in effect in Oregon and is meeting
with support among lawyers and
Judges in Illinois. The theory, OF
course, here is that the state is the
third party to every divorce and,
therefore, has a right to voice in any
proceeding looking to the legal separ-
alton of man and wife. Those who
favor the measure insist that it has
worked we'll wherever tried.
In Illinois those inclined to oppose
ting up the matter of additional ex-
Lense, saying it will require probably
two extra states attorneys. This
would seem a trivial objection if the
law promised any sort of relief Good
citizens may well begin to view the
alarming increase of divorces with
deepest concern, for it is serious
problem when one out of every twelve
marriages ends in divorce. which is the
ratio today. This is an sncease over
the last count, when it stood one to
thirteen. So that any law or measure
hot inherently offensive or unjust to
personal rights that looks to minlmiz-
ing this evil is entitled to cons1dera-
tlon.-Omaha Bee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
REFORM OR REVOLT.

For years this paper has begged the
Kansas legislature to do something for
the struggling farmer. Now again we
approach the throne with our petition.
We demand a law that will compel
telegraph and telephone companies to
use square poles instead of round ones.
This is necessary to perpetuate the
public sale industry. It is very annoy
ing to try and read sale bill tackled
up on a round telephone pole. A per-
son wears himself out walking around
the pole trying to read the bill. If the
pole was square all this unnecessary
and nerve destroying exertion would be
done away with at once. There is no
more wood in a square pole than in
round one and square pole can be
made just as tall as round one. Fur
thermore, it is just as easy to dig a
hole for a square pole as a round one.
Moreover a square pole would be much
more satisfactory to live stock for
scratching purposes. If the present leg
islature refuses relief on this subject
it is up to all honest yeomen to start
an insurrection.-Osb Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
BUSINESS TO MOVE FORWARD

During the past few days the stock
market has been more buoyant and
stronger than it has been in many
months. This is taken in financial
quarters as being indicative that things
are beginning to move along in the
business world in the right direction,
after something that has bordered on
inactivity has prevailed for six or
more months. A movement forward is
almost certain to take place. This is
the opinion of Henry Clews, the New
York banker. who represents the con-
sentative and legitimate element in
Wall street. He discusses the straws
that are blowing in that direction in
his current weekly financial review, as
follows:
New confidence was infused into
the situation by the announcement
that Union Pacific contemplated the
expenditure of $75.00O,00o for the pur-
pose of double tracking the road. OF
course, the company's outlay would
not stop at that point and the compile
ton of that project means the ex-
penditure of considerably larger
sum. Such action is a practical and
emphatic display of confidence in the
future by men of great foresight and
ability. It is not to be supposed that
such an enterprise would be taken up
at the present time unless it's pro-
motors had solid reasons for conf
dence in the future. The moral effect
Of this action will unquestionably be
far-reaching. and must have con-
siderable influence in checking
pessimism and creating a more cheer
full and wholesome sentiment. Upon
| the steel industry it will have a most
stimulating effect. especially as rivalry
will force other roads into constructive
activity.
Another suggestive indication OF
| Improvement has been the partial re-
vival of the iron trade. 1t is well
known that there is an accumulation
of deferred orders in the steel bust
ness, and as these must soon be placed
the belief grows that the worst de-
preston in the iron trade has beer
safely passed. The merchandise stu.
alton as a whole is certainly better
| than few months ago. In nearly
every department of industry supple,
of goods are scarce. There has beer
little if any abatement in consumptiv'
i demands, and industrial plants mus
soon resume operations in order t.
satisfy necessary requirements Il
some cases demand is being stimulates
by lower prices. which are desirable
not only as a means of renewed &C
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Nor does it take very much to hat-
ter most people.
Any number of men are like ROSTERS
in this respect: They crow lot about
nothing
X
Too many men and women endeavor
to use good manners as a cloak for
undesirable activities.
X X e
If humans were more like other
animals and used their tongues chleny
in eating. they'd have fewer troubles.
The man who recognizes the fact
that he is not perfect has chance OF
amounting to something. Unfortu-
nately for themselves, there are not
very many in this class.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.l

lF'ron the Atchison Globe.1
Jokes and eggs don't improve with
age.
Look for health before you lose It
If you expect the hunting to be good.
Mighty few suicides put on their
closing Get out of consideration for
their friends.
Nearly every boy really needs a
manicure set, but he doesn't want ii,
and won't get it.
Some men are so henpecked they do
their talking through their wives hats
instead of their own.
When a man has a whispering voice
and tip-toe walk he is either an I'M
dertaker or politician.
It is still possible, however, to get
into vaudeville without killing your
husband or being lost at sea.
There may be grouches who get a
good deal of fun out of the Sour Way,
Dut they don't amuSe other people.
You can't prove how much you have
Travelled by the way you kick on hotels
and transportation companies.
The man who never .hesitates to say
what he thinks, is not, as rule, a
member in good standing of the Sun-
shine club.
There are a number of excuses for
the booze habit, but none are warrant
JOo
it.
1t is said doctors are very unrelia-
Bile; they are always telling fibs to
protect patients who often go out and
abuse them.
What argument can be advanced to
demonstrate the superiority Of pajamas
over the ancient and honorable night
shirt?
A girl is not necessarily as sweet as
she thinks she is simply because she
takes to candy as readily as a boy
takes to tobacco.
brakeman threatened to whip a
man the other morning you wouldn't
last me-" he said to the man, "as long
as a drink of whisky
desire to make more money con-
tinues to be a greater incentive to good
work than any motto you may have
hanging on the wall.
A woman's jute hair looks neither
glorious nor ornamental when it is
hung out on the clothes1ine with the
rest of the family washing.
Even if a man is figuring on marry
ing a rich girl or widow, it isn't a
cinch that he is going to get returns
on the time he devotes to society.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
TYPHOID VACCINATION.

Characteristic of the complaceney
and dignity with which medical science
pursues the even tenor of its way is
the fact that. while a very consider
able lay acknowledgements, it may
be, by an element of professional
iconoclasm-is bitterly assailing the
practice of vaccination against small
pox, that practice not only persists,
but expands with various ramif1ca-
lions. That is to say, vaccination,
which formerly was associated in the
public mind almost exclusively with
supposed immunity from smallpox,
now figures in a similar preventive
relation to other diseases and is stead
lily increasing its range Witness the
general order issued by Major General
Wood, chief of staff OF the United
States army, directing all commanding
officers throughout the service to use
their best efforts to induce all officers
and men in their commands, and all
civilians connected with the army. to
submit to vaccination against typhoid
fever. The order is not compulsory
except under such conditions as may
appear to Justify its enforcement. but
the fact that such an order has been
issued is in itself ignificant.-Man-
chester Union
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
HUMoR OF THE Day

The Uplift in Plunkville.-'How. about
this barefoot act you've booked for the
opry house? Some of the leading 1 est hsns
Suppressed all the Objectionable features
That's Just It. We was Altered you
would. kansas CITY journal
Dick-I know a. girl who accepts rings
from men she doesn't know Clara
Why, she has to; you know. she's tele-
phone girl-Boston Courier.
Mrs. Crawford-Your husband seems to
be confirmed pessimist. Mrs. Stratton-
Indeed, he is, my dear. He isn't satisfied
buys it ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
..Ye. hear a lot o. talk bout philan-
thropists these days" said Mrs Korntopi
good, amt they?" Yes replied Farmer
Korntop. II think I seen one the last
ala AIDE he T iook e l ins had sign n on
to him that said, I use Fakeley's Cough
Cure. Try it '-Catholic Standard and
How foolish to settle a million a
American man and make him happy by
handing him ten-dollar bill every morn
ing."-Pittsburg Post
"well, after seeing me play football.
how would you like me for a husband?"
well Eve, If could get your salary away ta
ball away from you, you'd do."-Duluth
News-Trfbune.
Truth, having been crushed to earth
again, lay helpless. whats the user'
exclaimed Truth. making no effort to
rise. Il shan't try to get up until after
the election. can't buck against a million
campaign lies!"-Chicago Tribune.
Al am surprised to hear that young
Smith who has just married old Ritch-
mans daughter, has given up his profess
SION Does he intend to live upon love?
but-upon the father of his lovei-St.
Louis Star.
The Modern Way-A couple of young
men on the Market Street viaduct the 9TH
old saw. After they had passed a couple
| of authenticated damsels one of the
young men took his stand at the curb and
gazed up and down the bridge. what
panion. Pointing to the red-headed girls,
/ the young man answered: I'm trying
| to see a white automobile !''-Y youngstown
| Telegram.
marks said Uncle Silas Gershaw, who
| had been passing week in the city, ''us
rubes amt in 1t with them air teown
chaps" .Did yew sell EN- engy gold
Dech Naw ddn oid naaeg qUnce
| Silas, but seed a Teller peddhn' arti-
fetal ice-hed tn sign right on his wagon
an blamed eff tn churnpS didn't buy 1t
| fer tn real thing, by grass!''-Chicago
| News.
! His Purpose.-''The last time I saw Bif-
kins. he was going down hill very fast
An angry bull was after him. "-Baltimore
/ American,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
FpON OFFER PENS

FLATTERY AS HEALTH RESTORER
And now comes a very learned man,
a psychologist, a physicist and phi
losopher, who seems to have investi-
gated the whole subject to his own sat
isfaction, and finds that the world Is
cursed with truth, or, rather, with a
lack of lies. Human beings, particu-
1arly those Of the feminine gender, suf
fer physical torments, it appears, be-
cause they are not buoyed up by suf-
ficient flattery. What women need IS
not so much quinine and ipecac as q
lot Of white lies. When you go home
to the wife of your bosom you are not
to tell her that she looks badly and
ought to have a doctor at once. By no
means. You must tell her that she
looks younger than she has for years,
that she never was as dear to you and
that you are hardly able to get through
your daily tasks because you are SO
distracted by thoughts of her.
The remedy at least is cheap. 1t
costs nothing but effort. but, alasi
more effort than some, men are willing
to put forth. It is not because a man
is too truthful to tell hes to his wife
about her appearance, but because he
hasn't the willing mind 1t is too conf
mon for men to presume that simply
because they are married they need not
bestow courtesy or sentiment upon
their wives. Some men reserve Their
stories of flattery for other men
wives, which makes particularly inter
esting reading in the divorce courts.
Now this learned man is right in his
fundamentals We do not know
whether or not case of appendicitis
or Of cerebro-spinal meningitis may be
cured by flattery. but If more men
went home to their wives with cheerful
faces, with loving words, with the more
tender courtesy and a box of candy or
bunch of violets, lot of heart trouble
would be cured Observation-Disclosures
phia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.l

The public never does its own bust
ness. SO it's never done.
The cleverest trick girl has is how
oIten she can be kissed for the first
time.
It's so natural for women to raise
children that a few of them want 10
raise Cain instead.
It's awful foolish to find fault with
the cook when she can get even by
putting too much pepper in the soup.
All that seems to be needed for q
man to get absorbed in a thing is for
1t not to amount to much of anything.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

Discussion on the proposed recipro-
city treaty with Canada again points
out what has always been the great
difficulty in framing a United States
tariff law. Every individual and bus
mess concern directly affected by tar
if schedules is anxious and willing for
reduced schedules or free trade in
commodities that the other fellows
handle or produce. But on those that
he deals with himself.-well. lower
duties or free trade would spell ruin
or something worse.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

Six men who "shot up a saloon in
New York city the other night are
reported to have given that town a
taste of 1.-The wild west" To have
been precise, the report should have
read 'the wild west" of fiction.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

Few changes have been made in
the rules under which football was
played last year by the intercollegiate
football rules committee which had
the matter in charge. If this COM
mittee will issue booklet explaining
these rules in lucid fashion, those who
follow the game as spectators will be
their eternal debtors
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07
The Man Under the Bed.

Miss Melissa Simpson had regular
ly looked under her bed for-odd
years. In all that time she had never
found a man under it. People oS<en
laughed at her, but she did not care,
and went on looking under her bed
each day.
Years went by without the expected
happening.
Then. on this day. she went into
the bed room of her luxudiously fur
nished home and was standing at the
window when she heard an unmis-
taxable sound. It was under her bed.
and just the sound she expected.
Without sign of fear she turned on
the lights, and, walking over to the
bed, turned up the draperies.
How are you getting along?" she
called out, without a quaver.
'I'm almost through" came back
muffled voice.
THAT is good" she returned, calm
~, and walked out of the room
For it was spring housekeeping
time and the man was operating a
vacuum clear1er.-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

And speaking of the ill winds that
blow good: Benjamin D. Green, who
with John #. Gaynor, was convicted
with Captain Oberlin NJ. Carter, for
defrauding the government, was Sc
we're sufferer with what was thought
to be a chronic and incurabIe illness,
before he went to prison. His prison
service win soon be over and he will
walk out Of the prison gates complete
" restored to health. Just why
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

A friendly tip to Kansas City, Kan.
After having established a municipal
electric lighting plant, don't be so
foolish as to depend on the moon to
help out. The moon is always willing
to do it's share, but clouds all too fire.
quently have the habit of getting in
the Vay
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

F. Hopkinson Smith, author, artist,
ct cetera, expresses the opinion that
wealthy folk are inclined to be vul-
garians. But this is rather poor con-
ISOLATION for the poverty-stricken. Nor
does it mean that all in the latter
class are genteel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

Now that the national chess cham
pionship has been decided for another
year. the people of the country can
get down to business again and pur-
sue their varied activities without any
thing to bother them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

The famous Alice blue" silk, so
called as a compliment to Colonel
Roosevelt's daughter, is to have a riv-
al in silk that will be known hence
forth as "Helen pink in honor of the
daughter in the Taft family. It's like
ly. though, that the red-headed girls.
at least, will not wax very enthusiastic
over the "Helen pink fabric.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

Chicagoans are SO superstitious that
they have done away with the number
13 in the street numbering of their
residences and business buildings.
Probably their next move will be to
have the number 13 stricken from the
calendars
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

Noting that New York clergyman
has declared that the world has grown
twenty-five per cent worse in the last
ten years, the Detroit Free Press re-
marks: This isn't much of boost
for his profession.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-07

A hypothetical question no less than
10000 words long has been injected
into a murder trial which is in pro-
gress in California. It's safe bet that
the lawyers who have fixed it up do
not understand it.