davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17
Teachers Pension ELL
A, J. RICKAR1,
Live Stock Correspondent

Alter killing the bill once the House
last FfIday passed the bill providing
q Retirement fu.d for public school
teachers IN ties Of the first class Ivy
a vote OF 76 to 3d. The Till passed
was a Senate bill. The bill killed u
week or more ago was House bill.
Tue blll provides that the fund
shall be created, first ty the asses =
menG of not less than one per cent nor
nure tuan one and One-hdlf per cent
OF every installment Of the salary
paid TO the teacher. The additional
means OF raising the fund is by setting
ASIDE from the general lunu Tor the
support Of the schools OF the city an
amount not less than one or more than
one and oue-haii times the salary
assessments. GfLs may be receiyD d
Tor The benefit of the fund.
Any teacher employed IN the city
creating The fund who mas J4ught
school for thlrIyyears may retire and
participate in the fund. II the
teacher has spent fifteen years OF the
thirty teaching in The schools OF thal
city he is emitted to receive month y
payments from the fuAd aggregatlug
$500 a year as. loug as he may
live. There are other provisions
for teachers in various conditions,
The participation IN the fund is
voluntary on the part OF the teacher.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

Two years ago ths total cost VS.
So GAO 81, year $44 a day. This Legisla-
has made a saving of % per cenL over
the last L gislature in this reSpec :
Another thing 10 which attention ma
been called by sir. Sessions Is the rae
that not cent has been expended iol
furniture of any kind by the pres'n)
Lenislature. a fact Nr, Sessions refer,
10 as "extraordinary in the history
OF Kansas L gislatures
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

destiny. We daily chisel the
character which will forever decide
our veal or woe. What shall it be2
Solemn question this Remember,
none of us be able to will deny our
hand work on the judgement day.
Infinitely more enduring than the
finest granite will be the work we
are now doing.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17
ATTACKS SCHOOL PRINCIPLE.

A severe attack on school principle,
Chas. B. Allen Of Sylvania, Ga, is
thus told by him. "For more than
three years." he writes, 81 suffered
indescribable torture from rheuma-
tism, liver and stomach trouble and
diseased kidneys. All remedies failed
till 1 used Electric Bitters, but four
bottles of this wonderful remedy cured
me completely" Such results are
common. Thousands bless them for
curing stomach trouble, female COM
D ANTS, kidney disorders, billousness,
and for new health and vIgor. Try
them, Only SOC at All Druggists,
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

make no accusations which
you cannot prove, and believe none
which are not proven to you" is as
good a motto for the street corner
as the court room.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

eff all boys turned out as well as
their mothers expected" says Miss
Carlson of the Lindsborg News,
there would be TOO many generals
and not enough soldiers"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17
KILLS A MURDERER.

A merciiess murderer is Appendix
cltis with many victims, but Dr..
Kings New Life Pills Kill it 10y pre-
ventiou. They gently stimul.S e
stomach, liver and bowels, preventing
that clogging that invites appendicitis
curing Constipation, Headache,
Bihousness, Chllis, 25c at All Drug
glsts.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

The latest rumor is to the effect
that the Diaz Government is on its
last legs. Perhaps it would move
along better on rollers.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

The fellow who was so free with
the advice to "never trouble trouble,
till trouble troubles you" failed to
suggest a plan to persue when
trouble troubles you.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

Human nature is SO constituted
that all see and judge better i'll the
affairs of other men, than in their
own.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

An exchange says that lots OF
men leave their work at the Office
but carry the worry home with
them.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

The average life of a printer is
thirty. three years. We do not
publish this as news item, but to
show the necessity of prompt
payment to the printer, 50 that be
can have the pleasure Of handling
his own funds during his short sub
lunary sphere,
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

The only institution that can
make money without advertising IS
the United States mint
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

Are you wearing your "Green
Tie?
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1911-03-17

When Billiards. Snow Liniment is
rubbed in for rheumatic aches and
pains, 1t reaches the spot quickly and
the relief is very gratifying. Price
25c, soc and $l.00 per bottle. Sold By
Legitimate Drug Company.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17

Bedford is no small distinction. New
ertheless, backing her against all the
women doctors, women lawyers,
business women of every kind, and
even the occasional fair blacksmiths
and farmers that crop up, New Bed
ford stands by its woman fisherman
Like most persons. however, who
suddenly take up a new occupation,
Miss Almy's choice Of the trade OF
fisherwoman was the result of ne
cessity. Three years ago she found
herself without means of support and
with an aged mother on her hands.
With only her own strength and grit
to back her struggle for living. she
began to cast about for some means OF
getting livelihood. And with char
acteristic determination she made up
her mind to venture into field hith
erto monopolized by men. To this
end she took what little money she
had, fitted up a cottage on the shores
of Pope's beach and bought dory
Then she began to fish for oysters and
scollops,
With all her strength of mind and
body. however. she is not suffra
gist and is not in sympathy with WON
en- who are. #.=..=
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
The Bishop and the Boy.

The late Bishop Williams of Con
necticut was very fond of children,
and 1t was always a joy to us young
sters when he came for his visit to my
fathers parish. His anecdotes and
stories enlivened the whole household
Once when he was staying with us he
told the following story:
zone Sunday morning, just after
breakfast, l repaired to the rector's
study, where l was soon followed by
his little four-year-old son, who
climbed up on my knee and began to
talk. Suddenly the little fellow looked
up into my face and said: Bishop, dc
90 want to see my piggy book?
Eyes, indeed, said |. So the chile
slid down and started to get the book
When halfway across the room sud
den idea seemed to strike him, and
running back and putting one hand OF
my knee, he looked up in my face ant
shook his little forefinger at me, whis
pering: 'Bissop, it's Sunday. We mus
do zis on re sly!'"-Harper's Maya
zine.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
Wall OF MODERN BENEDICT
Adaptation That Aims to Set Forth
the Trials and Tribulations
That Beset Life.

1. My wife is my boss, l shall not
deny.
2. She maketh me lie down behind
the bed when the swell company
comes. and she leadeth me behind her
up Main street.
3. She restoreth my pocketbook
after she has srent all its contents on
hobble skirts and theater tickets, and
she leadeth me up the main aisle OF
church for her new hats sake.
4. Yea, though l walk more than
half the night through dark rooms
with a crying baby, | will get no rest
for she is behind me; her broomstick
and her hatpin they do everything
else but comfort me.
5. She prepareth cold snack for
me, then maketh Decline for an aid
society supper. She anointeth my
head with the rolling pin occasionally
My arms runneth over with bundles
before she is half done her shopping
6. Surely her dressmaker's and mil
hnery bills shall follow me all the
days of my life and | will dwell II
the house of my wife forever.-Ex
change.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
LIVES IN SOD HOUSE
Man Of Royal Lineage Thus Re.
sides in Kansas.
(. o. Smith, Whose Ancestors Came
From England With the Pilgrim
Fathers, is Descended From
King Charles |.

Meade, KAMA man with royal
blood in his veins lives in sod house
on a Kansas. prairie and has lived
there for twenty-seven years.
E. D. Smith, whose farm Is three
miles southwest of this place, Is de-
scended from a niece of King Charles
l. of England. who was beheaded in
lG49 by the British house OF COM
mons
Smiths great-grandmother was
niece of Andrew jackson, president OF
the United States, and he is directly
descended from John Quincy Adams.
another president His grandfather's
brother was Capt Jedediah Strong
Smith. the original pathfinder OF the
American plains and mountains, the
| first white man who saw Salt Lake.
Utah. the first white man who crossed
the mountains and deserts to Los An
geles and the first man who brought
gold from California to 1.-The states.
Smith comes of a family oil
pioneers His ancestors. Jedediah
and Ira Smith. came from England
with the Pilgrim Fathers and landed
in Plymouth in 1920.
When Charles III. was king of Eng
land Earl Simonds of the Isle of Mar
was an officer of the kings household
and he fell in love with the kings
niece and asked King Charles for hel
hand in marriage. The king was thu
legal guardian Of his niece and he re
fused to permit the wedding. There
upon the niece eloped with Earl 81
monds, who carried her to his vesse
and set sail for America, One Of tn
kings warships went in pursuit AM
overlook the clipping couple, but tn
earl fired a cannon shot which cal
ried away the foremost Of the king
ship and thereafter the earl and hi
bride had clear sailing. They lande
in the Carolinas and from there wen
to Canada.
Twin boys were born of the ma
riage and the mother. niece OF tn
king, died at their birth. After tn
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
THERE WITH A REPUTATION
Doubtful and Humiliated Hubby NOW
Probably Believes Wife Can
Keep a Secret

"The late William Rotch Wister,
the father of American cricket, might
also be said to have been a godfather
of the feminist movement" said
woman writer at the Acorn club In
Philadelphia.
Mr.. Wister" she continued, "abomi-
mated that type of husband who treats
his wife like a child, refusing to take
her into his confidence. once heard
Mr.. Wister tell a story about Ger
mantown man Of that sort.
THE man came back from bust
ness meeting wherein the future well
fare of himself and his family was
vitality involved, but he declined TO
tell his wife what had been the meet
lng's outcome.
"'Oh, no, he sneered. I can't tell
you anything. You'd repeat it If |
did. You, being a woman. are consti-
tutionally unable to keep a secret
But the wife, with quiet smile,
retorted: George, did | ever tell the
secret of how you were led astray
that summer the church conference
met in Chicago and got arrested in a
saloon for biting off the bartender's
carp"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
ARE YOU FREE
FROM

Headaches. Colds, Indigestion.
Pains. Constipation, Sour Stomach.
Dizzinessp If you are not. the most
effective. prompt and pleasant
method Of getting nd Of them is to
take, now and then. desertspoon-
full Of the ever refreshing and truly
beneficial laxative remedy-SyruP
Of Figs and Elixir Of SIENNA. Ii is
well known throughout the world
as the best Of family laxative RENE
dies. because it acts SO gently and
strengthens naturally without I'M
Eating the system in any way.
To get its beneficial effects il 10
always necessary to buy the genu-
inc. manufactured by the California
Fig Syrup Co. bearing the name
of the Company. plainly printed ON
the front Of every package.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
OLD MUSKET is INUNDATED
Springfield Percussion Lock Rifles Con.
verted Into FIintlocks by specula-
tors for African Trade.

Boston. Mass.-It is rare indeed that
arms of real merit are converted from
percussion to flintlocks; while every
one has seen scores Of fine old flint
lock weapons shorn of their beauty
and of their value-as antiques by
conversion to the percussion sys-
tenn.
Here is a Springfield rified musket,
made in 1S63-percussion lock. OF
course-which was used during the
Civil war. After that honorable serv.
Ice 1t was stored for years and about
1875 1t was bought by spectators
who took it. with thousands of It's
fellows-our government could moi
store them longer; and the fashions
In firearms were changing rapidly
to Liege. Belgium. where the owners
converted the whole consignment tC
f1intlocks This was done for the AT
rican trade; for, as is known to many
the tribesmen prefer the ancient fin
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17

death of his wife Earl Simonds went
from Canada to New York state and
In the War of the Revolution one
of his twin sons was a Tory and
fought with the English. He was
drowned In Lake .Champlain while
escaping with other British soldiers
after the Battle of Bennington The
other son, Gordon Titus Vespasian
Simonds, fought with the Revolution
airy army. After the war he mar
ried Miss Jackson, cousin of Pres
dent Andrew Jackson. Their daugh-
ter married Ralph Smith. grandson OF
ira Smith, who had come to Plymouth
Colony with the Pilgrim Fathers.
Ralph Smith had two sons. Ira and
Jedediah Strong Smith. Ira was the
father of e. D. Smith. the Kansas
pioneer who lives in sod house, E
D. Smith came to Meade, Kan. TWEEN
ty-seven years ago. The doctors said
he was dying with consumption. Fol
a year he had been living on whisky
and eggs. Meade is nearly 5000
feet above the sea, its air Is pure
and bracing. 1t healed Smiths lung
and he took a land claim here. bull
a sod house and sent for his wife
and their three children we're born IL
| the sod house. Mr.. Smith is pros
porous, he owns nearly section o
land, has herd of mich cows ant
| an irrigated garden and orchard H
and his family love the old sod hous'
and have no wish to leave 1t. 1t Il
large. roomy and comfortable. cool II
summer and warm in winter.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
Use for Vacuum Cleaner.

Kansas City, Mo.-A Kansas woman
has discovered what dealers say is the
most remarkable use to which a
vacuum cleaner has ever been put.
She uses 1t to take the fleas off her
dog. A dealer in this city has received
a letter from woman. who says:
Il have used my machine for clean
ing the clock, the piano and the door
mat, and yesterday used 1t for clean
ing the fieas from my dog. My hus-
band ran the end of the tube over
and through the dogs hair close to the
skin. When the nozzle touched flea
1t was drawn in When got through
with the dog, there was not flea on
him. then took the cleaner outdoors
and dumped the dust Tag into tub OF
water and drowned all the insects.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
A Converted Musket.

and steel system-they like to see the
sparks fly; and 1t is said. also. they
like heavy charges and like to feel
the kick" when the piece is dis
charged. as they consider that an in
dication that their game will be
killed
Among the countless thousands of
"pot-metal" guns. so-called that have
been thrust into the Africans hands
by foreign greed, 1t is safe to say
that no arm that ever kicked" their
savage shoulders was equal In good,
ness to our splendid "Springflelts.
This specimen was imported from
Liege several years ago
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
BABY's TERRIBLE SUFFERING

when my baby was six months old,
his body was completely covered with
large sores that seemed to itch and
burn, and cause terrible suffering.
The eruption began in pimples which
would open and run, making large
sores. His hair came out and finger
nails fell off, and the sores were over
the entire body, causing little or no
sleep for baby or myself. Great scabs
would come off when l removed his
shirt.
we tried a great many remedies,
but nothing would help him, till a
friend induced me to try the Cuticura
Soap and Ointment. used the Cuti-
cura Soap and Ointment but short
time before / could see that he was
improving, and in six weeks time he
was entirely cured. He had suffered
about six weeks before we tried the
Cuticura Soap and Ointment, although
we had tried several other things, and
doctors, too. think the Cuticura Rem
edies will do all that is claimed for
them, and a great deal more. .
(Signed) Mrs. Noble Tubman, Dodson,
Mont, Jan. %, 1911. Although Cuti-
cura Soap and Ointment are sold by
druggists and dealers everywhere, a
sample of each, with 32-page book
will be mailed free on application to
"Cuticura," Dept. IS K, Boston.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
sEIzEs A MANS MUsTACHE
Pittsburgh Has Horse That Is Fond
of Cigars and Gets More Than
IL Wants.

Pittsburgh, Pa.-Charles Morris,
dairyman, has horse that circus peo-
pie say is the most docile equine they
have ever seen. Police" as the ami
NAL is called by Morris, has one bad
habit and that is snatching cigars
from the mouth of persons whom he
sees smoking.
Morris left the horse standing in
front of a drug store while he defiv.
cred cream to a soda fountain. T.
w. Negley, a broker, was standing
near by conversing with friends. Neg
ley was smoking big 25-center. "Po-
lite," without warning, walked up on
the pavement and made grab for the
cigar
The equine got the cigar, also Neg
leys nkstache. Mr.. Negley was very
Indignant over the loss OF mustache
as he declared he had "nursed" it for
years. He Immediately entered suit
/ against Morris.
4
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
NEW ENGLAND'S FlSHWoMAN
Another Occupation ls Found to Have
Been Invaded by the Center
Sex.

Boston. Mass.-A Massachusetts
fisherwoman who really fishes. who
affects the salt water not for the pur'
pose of wearing a natty blue sailor
costume but to earn her daily bread
With an oyster rake and a scoliop
dredge. is the feminine anomaly
boosted by the city of New Bedford In
the person Of Miss Lizzie M Almy,
resident of the Fairhaven section OF
the old whaling town.
To be the most picturesque figure
in a town as picturesque as is New
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
saws Mr. Medderorasa.

"As near as can make out this
mere classic fiddle playin'." observed
Mr.. Meddergrass. at consists large
ly In physical exercise of violent
sort, in which the iddler doesn't I'm
ierstand what he is piayin at an the
audience doesn't understand 1t, eth,
err, an keeps wishin' he'd cut loose
On some of the old time shake the
foot tunes. but has to look wise an
tell one another it's Just grand No.
lir. this here classic music business
Is all right to talk to. but no great
shakes to listen to-"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
Toastlno the Teachers.

There was meeting of the new
teachers and the old 1t was sort OF
love feast, reception or whatever you
call it. Anyhow, all the teachers got
together and pretended they didn't
have a care In the world. After the
eats were ct the symposiarch proposed
a toast:
Long Live Our Teachers!"
1t was drank enthusiastically. One
of the new teachers was called on to
respond. He modestly accepted His
answer was:
What on?''
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
More ENGLISH Humor.

The first night Walter Kelly, known
to vaudeville as the virginia Judge
walked up the Strand he complained
TO his English companion that the IA
nous street In London was dark at
nine O'Clock. Why" said he, "at
this hour Broadway is as bright as
day. There is one sign alone. THE
Chariot Race, in which there are so,
900 electric lights But | say, old
top" said his English friend
wouldn't that be rather conspicu
ous?"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
Literary Criticism.

They were discussing a certain au-
thoress at dinner, and well-known
critic raised laugh by remarking:
well, her hairs red, even If her books
are not"
The mild young man in the corner
made mental note Of the sally for flu
ture use, and at another party shortly
afterward he carefully guided the con
versation into literary channels, Tit
Bits informs its readers. Fortunately
some one mentioned the desired name
and he triumphantly cried out; We'll
she's got red hair, even If her books
haven't"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
Elnds 500 Pearl In Tooth.

Thomaston, Conn.-Ruska Antilles,
an Italian laborer employed at Wig
wan reservoir here. is 500 richer as
a result of a visit to local dentist
The dentists examination of tooth
which had been troubling Antilles,
showed that a good sized pearl had
lodged in cavity in the side of the
Tooth. It was removed in good condi-
lion and appraised at $500. Antilles
remembered getting something in the
cavity when eating oysters a few
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
Spanking Age 10 Months.

Kansas City. Mo.-The age limit
under which no child should be spank
sd is one and one.half years. according
to Judge Porterfield in the juvenile
court Paul Wilson and his wife were
in court charged with spanking the
woman's child. which is just under the
limit
IF ever hear of either of you
spanking that child again, or any 9TH
or person spanking a child under one
and one-half years, I'll put you or
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
where He LackIna,

1T is pitiful to hear old Lusher talk
when he is intoxicated" said the Sym
pathetic Person.
Yes. indeed" agreed the Individual
who reads Realistic Stories. Yes. H.
deed He does not speak with the cor
rect dialect Of intoxication at all.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17

teen weeks prior to taking Doan's
Kidney Pills, was confined to bed
practically helpless. They made me
feel like a new woman and soon was
doing my work the same as ever"
when Your Back Is Lame, Re-
member the Name-DOAN'S." SOC a
box at all stores. Foster-Milburn Co.,
Puffalo. N. Y
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
Perhaps.

~ am sorry thai / have no pie to
affer you" arologized the hostess to
he chance guest.
Indeed. should probably be sor-
rier If you had it said the guest, IN
= desperate effort to talk like the
characters in Anthony Hopes tea
narties
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
Heredltarv Trait.

I'VE bought little Percival some
nretty new Shoes" said the proud
mamma. land the dear little darling
was SO proud OF then that he insisted
on sleeping with them on"
"Ah. yes" observed the sarcastic
uncle. "That shows that he inherits
at least one of his fathers character
lstics."
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
Unfortunate.

Tyre Dout-I am unfortunate, mum.
l had to quit my profession, on ac-
count of my health.
Lady-But you look rugged. What
was your profession?
Tyre Dout-Dat's just it, lady.
was too rugged. l was ventriloquist
an a good one, lady an my voice got
so strong l couldn't throw THAR
per's Magazine.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17
Experience Teaches.

81 am the goose that lays the gold
en- eggs" observed the barnyard bird
to the agriculturist who was approach
ing with an ak.
Huh" said the agriculturist How
do know but you will switch the
package on me and hand me tin egg
full of sawdust?"
For he had read the newspapers to
some profit
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-11-17

ties, follow the adj
vice of Mrs. II. S.
Woods. $40 18th
St., Aurora, Nebr.
Says Mrs. Woods:
IL was in a criti-
cal condition. My
feet and ankles
were SO swollen
with dropsy, l
could not wear
my shoes. Four