The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1911-03-31
An Unfortunate
Encomium
BY EDWARD IGLEHART
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation, 1911.

/ married an unconscious beauty.
Now, everybody knows that beauty
if it is unconscious is very nice
thing, but as soon as it becomes CON
scious it breeds vanity, and vanity Is
the mother of large brood Of troubles
My wife and myself-we are both
Vans-belong to the older aristocracy
of New York. None of our ancestors
would have thought of associating
with the ancestors of persons who are
now in the swim and to whose circle
we were not admitted. They care
nothing about our ancestors, though
many Of them have heard of my ia
Their, who was distinguished com
modore in the navy, and my wife's
grandmother, who was celebrated
New York belle. The places once &C.
cupied by these worthy people are
now filed with the descendants Of
those who sold them oysters and fish
and whose wealth runs away up into
the millions.
But my wife and l were happy I'M
til q certain remark was repeated to
her. One of our old family connec-
tons who owns box In the diamond
horseshoe"-so called from being that
gallery of the Metropolitan Opera
House occupied by the multimillion
aires-gave us the use of it for one
night The favor nearly caused our
| y,tin Of tbof tnht ut fha
opera Gertrude's cousin, who gave us
the box, said to my wife:
'The Earl Of Chapperton, recently
from London, asked me who was the
lady in my box on Thursday night,
saying at the same time: She's the
most beautiful woman l ever saw.
London could not furnish anything
equal to herT"
The remark was not only repeated to
my wife, but was talked about at ev-
cry function held by the golden set
1t finally came to Gertrude, added to
in this wise: "What pity that Mrs.
Van Valkenburg doesn't take the po-
sition in society that half a century
ago was occupied by her grandmother,
the beautiful Betty Van Wyke."
From that moment my dear wife got
the society bee in her bonnet. "Our
family has always kept up in the
world till the present generation" she
said. 1--WE have $4,000 a year, and
on that we could get on in society.
Connections of ours in the swim would
introduce us, and our especial associ-
ates would be of the older aristocratic
set who are not so rich as these new
commercial people"
"My DEAR" I protested, "our $4,000
income would not keep us in the swim
month"
mot with your management" she
retorted, "but woman can always
make money 60 further than man.
Let me try. l will show you what l
can do"
Like a fool / was persuaded My
wife had no trouble in penetrating the
society skirmish line because of the
remark Of the Earl of Chapperton,
which was on every ones lips. She re-
|
found that she must make consider
able outlay for costumes before she
could accept any of them. And since
the costumes she must rival cost all
the way from several hundred to sew
eral thousand dollars, and she must
have a different costume for each
| function, the amount soon ran up to a
third of our total income. Since our
ordinary necessary expenditures re-
CURED the other two-thirds, it was evil
dent we would soon run upon the
rocks. But what is the one matter of
a woman's costumes, expensive though
they be, compared with the thousand
and one other luXuries that must be
provided by people Of fashion. One
dinner alone we felt obliged to give
cost us $500, and it was considered
plain at that.
We permeated the outer social line
and were making some Roadway into
the inner circle. We were both disap-
pointed in discovering that we must be
civil to number Of the wives of young
multimillionaires who had married
actresses, and my wife had discovered
that society was not composed of such
persons as her grandmother had shOne
among. Then something happened
that called halt to our advance.
A certain Mrs. Van Valkenburg,
whose income was some 100000 a
year and who was as homely as
hedge fence, caused it to be given out
for a consideration, the price being
Invitations to certain social climbers to
her soirees-that a mistake had been
made in reporting Earl Chapperton's
remark as to the most beautiful wom-
an in New York. The Mrs. Van Val
kenburg referred to was the lady
with the 100000 income.
Everybody sneered, but as all un
would cost them the enmity of one
of the most powerful women in New
York society no one dared to lisp
word to the contrary. The earl
had returned to England and was not
to be even questioned on the subject
The moment his lordship's compliment
was appropriated by another my wife
ceased to be an object of curiosity
and, as she had no other claim to be
admitted to society, was dropped. Be
sides, any further attention to her was
sure to be resented by the other Mrs.
Van Valkenburg.
When the battle was over 1 discov-
cred that we had eaten upon our cap
ital sufficiently to reduce our income
one-half. I was thankful that we were
beaten off before all was exhausted.
When my wife grumbles at the halv-
ing Of our income never mention the
cause. / have a regard for the tuft of
hair on the top of my head.