The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-02-11
OUR COWS ARE
PERFECT LADIES
SAYS LECTURER
Prof. Phelps Delivers Discourse
Filled With Delightfully."- HUI
mOrouS Philosophy

The winter course of lectures at the
library closed last night with one of
Prof. Phelps most brilliant efforts.
There was a large audience present,
completely filling the room, and it was
both instructive and amusing. While
the theme was How to Read books
Prof. Phelps devoted good share of
his address to the best manner in
which to acquire happiness. He said
everybody wishes to be happy; all
wish for it; it is the aim Of life. Hap
piness depends largely upon the con-
ception one has of it. The best defini-
ton of happiness known to the speak
er was that given by President Wright
of Yale college-"Happiness is for the
one who thinks the most interesting
thoughts" This places happiness with
In and not without. With many hap
some must have a certain income;
others social position, or friends. Do
not have happiness outside but in your
own heart. Happiness for some may
be lost by an insult, by SANDER, or
the loss of money, a leg or health.
External happiness is like the foolish
woman who carries her purse in the
street in her hand, filled with gold and
jewels and some expert thief snatches
1t away. The loss of a leg, said Prof
Phelps would not mar his happiness
that is dependent upon his mind. One
will have to kill me to make me I'M
happy. And this is the point of my
lecture.
HOW TO BE HAPPY.
I will show you how to be happy.
Think the most interesting thoughts
We all grow happy as we grow older.
Poets say youth is the happiest part
of life. Once a professor in address,
ing some students, said to them that
they were then enjoying the happiest
days of their life. They would never
be so happy again. That was an in
suit and one had right to strike such
man down. One does grow happier
as he grows older. Take Joseph H.
Choate, now between 20 and 80 years
of age, and you will hardly find a
happier man. Pres dent Northrop, Of
the University of Minnesota, Is years
old, says there is no doubt but old age
is the happiest time of life. Women
should always grow happier as they
grow older. Some people are unhappy
over the idea of having grey hair. If
their hair should turn green they
would have a right to- be alarmed. But
gray hair is as rational as the sun
rise, or the changes in the weather
Many identify happiness with physical
happiness. Some think they would be
happy if they had no worry, no fear,
no work.
Why is child happy? One reason
is it sleeps well. 1t sits at the ia
Bile and eats as matter of course.
During the French Revolution some
one said the people have no bread to
eat. A child replied. "Then why don't
they eat -cake?" Poets think of US as
animals.
THE AMERICAN COW.
Let us look at the American COW.
for example. as the happiest animal we
can pick out. The cow has a perfect
ly happy mind. All American cows
are perfect ladies-they have nothing
up by poets. They don't have to be
buttoned up the back; don't have to
put rats in their hair. They make
up at sunrise and one whisk of the
tail and their toilet is done. They eat
the lush grass. and possibly see green
er grass in the distance, and finally
conclude to walk over to it. If it gets
a little warm they go stand in
brook, and get cool, or they sit down
under tree and enjoy the shade.
talk to cows a good deal, but they
are not very communicative and say
little in reply. Watch them chew the
cud-like school girl chewing gum.
Look into the beautiful clear eyes of
the COW of which Homer speaks: no
religious doubt in a cows eye; they
are never asnostics; they do not wor-
ry about bills which accumulate at
the end of the month. Do you want
to be a COW? Why not? That is what
youth means.
THE FINISH OF LITE.
In French novels it is very common
to find the statement that when a
woman gets to be of a certain age,
life for her is finished. She has low
ers no more; she is stared at no more
on the street. Is that all there is to
life? Ideas are far more interesting
than illusions. We do not love en-
thusiasms as much in old age as when
we were young. The 4th of July US
ed to be the happiest day in my life.
Why? Because mother would let me
get up at midnight, and make noise
She would give me So with which
would buy 40 punches of fire crackers
enough to keep me busy all day.
used to pity an old man of 80; he did
not care to fire off crackers Life for
him was finished. I have more fun
now than then, and expect to have
the time of my life when I am S.
That is natural for one who thinks