The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1911-01-27
STEALING A Bath
Adventure Of a Trio Of English
Tourists In Germany.
A PRINCE AND A PRIVATE TUB
His Autoeratie Hiehness Was Shame
fully Ignored and Enrssed, and His
Luxurious Bath Was shamefuIIy APP
propriated and Abused.

Luxurious batn was oo@"ctutiy HP-
propriated and Abused.
Parker, wilks and had been doing
Germany on the cheap, and don't
know which of us enjoyed il least.
Parker grumbled the most, but then
he always did, and. though Wilks and /
tried to look on the humorous side Of
things, we lost flesh over 1t. We had
happened upon heat wave and swal-
lowed a tremendous lot Of dust and
flies thrown in gratis, cheap though our
tariff was. But we couldn't swallow
the foreign titles that cropped up
around us. We had too much British
pride for that And, as luck would
have it, at the last town Of our tour
we were quartered on the top floor of
a hotel where a German prince occu-
pied suit of rooms. In our opinion,
three English tourists were worth more
than thirty German princes. and we
dropped our boots on the floor at night
in the vain hope that he was under
meath. But, alas. his suit was on the
first floor, and we never even caught a
glimpse Of him, though once we heard
his high pitched, arrogant, penetrating
voice and the oozy fulsome rejoinders
of his valet both articulating a Ian
guage which Parker contemporary
described as "the limit"
1t was the last morning of our stay.
Parker and ] had gone back TO the
hotel to pack our bags before departing
for the station. The weather was hot
ter and dustier than ever, and Wilks,
always energetic, had gone to the pub
lie bathing place on the river in search
Of a swim. / had letter to write,
and Parker wandered round the hotel
TO kill time. Presently he thrust his
face In at the door. 1t had lost its
familiar lowering look and wore a
bright and alert expression.
81 say" he calculated mysteriously.
almost under his breath, "Ive just
found bathroom in this blighted hole
bath full of tepid water, with a Their
mometer in it-clean, warmed tow
els on the rail, and all that. What
shall l doT'
Dor l replied. Get into 1t, man,
and let me know when you've finish
ed"
He wasn't long and came back look
ing wonderfully young and clean. The
mail had just arrived and / had spent
a few minutes over my letters before
1 also found the bathroom, following
his directions. 1t was without excep-
ton the best l have ever been in.
and, TO my surprise, the big porcelain
bath was half full Of tepid water. and
a set of clean, newly warmed towels
hung on the rail. l took what the
gods gave and asked no questions, but
l wanted more cold water and ex-
perimented unsuccessfully with vari-
Gus levers on the wall As last hope
] attacked cart wheel affair on the
floor and after stiff struggle man
aged to turn 1t. A food of cold water
gushed in along one side of the bath,
and it was all | could do to wrench
the wheel around and stop the flow.
AS did so light came upon me in a
flash. This was the princes bath, pre-
pared for him a second time by his
obsequiOus valet. 1t was the glorious
certainty of the fact that made me en-
joy that bath as / have never enjoyed
a bath before or since. The cheap
English tourists We're one up on his
serene highness, after all. Still,
admit, when / had finished Tubing l
lost no time in getting back TO the
fourth floor again. ] told Parker the
great news, and we were just discuss
ing 1t with rapture when Wilks came
in, looking supremely detected for the
first time on the tour
''The bathing place isn't OPEN" he
snarled. Had all the fag of going
there for nothing. What dirty beg
gars they arew
mot all of them" ] replied. Don't
you worry, old chap" And l described
to him the position of the bathroom,
and he was off like hare. During his
absence we thoughtfully packed our
own bags and his In ten minutes he
returned, fresh as mountain daisy
and bubbling over with gratitude.
"What sort of bath did you getY'
i asked carelessly.
"A clinker," he cried. "and 1t was
all put ready for me, clean towels
and everything. The only difficulty l
had was with the cold water wheel
arrangement ON the floor"
ut was bit stiff." j agreed
'It turned on all right" said Wilks,
but ] couldn't turn it of"
"what did you dor we asked to-
gether.
II left IT," he answered simply.
What time are we due at the sta
| tionY' said Parker.
"Now," replied. and we took our
bags and went I
AS we descended the staiis with
studied calmness we heard electric
bells continuously tingling on he first
floor, a high pitched arrogant voice
raised in anger. oozy, seryile tines an
swering imploringly. We cane upon
the proprietor leaping up the stairs
and a stream OF water leaping down
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