Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-09-07
A Voyage of Dangers.
What perils environ
Those who sail up higher on
Our beautiful river, for them
They found robber and pirate
xtyt.S xt,a;- i;r,l,t croft did fire at


Those who sail up higher on
Our beautiful river, for them
They found robber and pirate
Who their light craft did fire at
And gave them a terrible scare.
A week ago two expert canoodlers,
Commodore Long6ow, nominal de-
scendant of Byron's Corsair, and flrst
mate Nathan the Wise, OF Danish pirate
lineage. set oars to elbow their watery
path from this port to the Senate House
of far Cumberland. They shipped on
board one fitch of salt bacon, one box
cheese and crackers, two quarts whiskey,
one long butcher knife - prepared tor
either war or peace-one teaspoon. and
one new Ratchet for scalping purposes;
also one long-noSed coffee pot, and
cargo OF wonderful expectations: They
were out for adventureS-and they got
them, even though they invaded pipe
dreamland therefor.
When old Noah made his ark ready,
the bottom fell out OF the sky; so when
our heroes put out in their canoe, the
rains LET loose, much TO their digust and
Encouragement. They felt that the
weather had been sent by an unscrupu-
lous Providence just TO spoil their trip, so
in place OF the threat to cover two hun
dred and fifty miles, they ran into cover
at Williamsport, which was the tartheSt
Ultima Thule OF their voyage.
But il was on their retreat homeWard
that the thrilling part of their adventure
took place. They had close call at Dam
No. 4, very nearly shooting Niagara there,
while multitude were on either Snore
waiting TO see them shoot the rapids, but
they pulled vigorously and altogether ana
by the help of the Lord came safely 10
the lee shore.
Then, having executed flank move
ment around the falls, they were pulling
homeward on the last four-Inlle lever
stretch, when they were hailed and Of
dered TO heave TO by party on the rag
ing canal bank. Unsuspectful, they
turned toward the Maryland shore, but
upon nearing it, they saw in the GUNNER
ing darkness of the night camp OF Such
piTatical looking villains that they became
sore afraid and turned tail to pull away.
But the buccaneers rushed down quickly,
manned their flat bottom boat and gave
chase, unaware that their prey had only
dollar and sixty-five cents in their Wad,
having squandered their funds in buying
milk wherewith to manufacture milk
punch, their chief means OF Sustenance on
their voyage. The canoe folks also
boosted of having milk-punched their
way through several locks and lock-Keep-
ers. But now being in peril OF their lives,
they ightened ship by throwing over oa.
con, cheese and other grub, so their crait
shot away from the boat laden with hall
dozen heavy high pirates. The latter
fired at them repeatedly but intellectually,
except frightening them out OF two years
growth. The Commodore and mate ran
their boat into the shore, where they MO
alike Moses in the bulruShes. The mate
wanted to desert and run, but the. CON-
modore, alike Perry, would not give up
the ship, having tender attachment for
her name. So they douSed their glin ana
lay down in the boat in fervent prayer Tor
escape. The pirates searched and smell
ed all around and about, but fortunately
their quarry had thrown over their cheese,
or il would have betrayed them. Baffled,
they at last gave up the search and sailed
off, leaving a blue streak OF profanity IN
their wake. :,
Our adventures slid out and slipped
back home. Though thoroughly soaked
with rain, their fright had shaken the wa
ter and wet out of their clothing. They
brought back tale OF perilS and pirates
as long as the Tales OF the Sea-storieS.
that had pipe-dreamy atmosphere OF
distant lands and times. The good, pl-
Gus folks here were not aware that this
river was infested by antique buccaneers.
This is shame to any people-an expe-
dition should be set on foot, under COM
mand Of the Commodore, to march. forth
and root out this nest of pirates and make
this once more safe and Christian land.
PRINCE ARTHUR.