The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-28
SALTED GHOSTS

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| sit up in bed and gasp for breath
I Her bedroom window looked out or
| the garden. and the sash vas raised
! Widow Armstrong" said a voice
that was certainly not human. II am
here TO warn you"
| she looked out. Under the apple
tree stood a ghost. Ii was none OF
! the vapory ghosts that weave for
ward and backward over the ground
bat a solid looking chap In white who
stood firmly on his feet.
WIDOW, continued the voice. be
ware OF the piano tuner He is
doomed to go mad Beware Of the
butcher He will STAY you as you
sleep. II you marry him, Beware OF
| the lightningrod man, He viii get
your last dollar and then abandon
you' Beware, beware, beware
I And then Mr. Ghost retreated
noiselessly and gave the frightened
widow chance to get her breath,
All the rest Of the night she lay with
! her head covered up and expecting
the summons any moment. and she
was happy woman when the roost-
ers began Growing for daylight.
( Did she rush of to tell the neigh
! bors as soon as she had eaten her
/ breakfast Not a bit of II. II she
/ had told Of the ghost she must have
repeated the ghosts words. She
I wasn't going to- tell ~ those three
offers of marriage aud set other
tongues 10 waggmg. And before noon
came she began to doubt the ghost
She went out to the apple tree. and
she found tracks on the soil--tracks
! of boots. or she didn't know tracks
when she saw them, Some one had
wrapped himself IN "A sheet. and
some one had held peach stone In
his mouth while he talked
When main trihes with a widow
! he doesn't know what he is going TO
| get. When this widow had decided
| That she was being guyed by some
one she went across the street and
! borrowed a shotgun to shoot cats
! with, and paid a boy ten cents IA
! load IL with powder and salt and
show her how to fire it.
| No ghost came that night or the
next. On the third day the Liverpool
| druggist drove over and eased his
| palpitating heart hy confession and
a proposal His tracks were hardly
| cold when in came the sewing ma
chine man. He must tell her of his
/ love or perish. He was permitted To
/ tell. The fertilizer man had meant
/ to he first. but came in third, being
unavoldably detained by Deacon
! Robinson, He also loved and had Ia
/ tell OF it ar run the risk uf an ex-
/ plosion.
/ To each If lhe-4ast three HE widow
/ returned the same answer as to the
/ first three, SIX proposals in week.
and six men going away fairly happy
/ When il is figured right down, any
widow is a blessing TO the land
/ Midnight again The widow Arm
strong sleeps. The shotgun leans
against the wall The ghost comes
across the garden with nolseless feet
4 Cats take one brief glance and fly for
/ their lives.
4 Widow, / am here To warn you
again Do not marry the sewing ina.
chine man
/ DO not marry the drug store man,
! DO not marry the fertilizer mani"
/ The widow slipped softly out oi
! bed. There stood the ghost under
/ the apple tree. He had the same
! white sheet around him--same peach
E-stona la his ftoutir, she reached fol
Ithe cid gun. ana as the ghost turnet
To be swallowed up in the night, sht
nred. There was Ia yell and 1t fan
The ghost had been saltcd. Boot,
and legs kicked tire air-the sheet
was thrown of, and the next minute
the widow was out doors and bend
ing over man and saying
NhN "hy---lts Mr. Phillips
Why WhS~-what on rarth,
IL didn't want you to marry any
body bat me- he exclaimed rs h
struggled to his knees.
But / didn't know You cared fol
me-"
Pat / do"
Wen. come in and sill down ans
wen see how badly sou are hurt"
'Hut | can't~-cant sit down
Then come over tomorrow an,
stand M and tell me YOU want m,
for a wife ana maybe III say yes