Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-02-10
Child rem Cry
FOR flETcREH'S
G A = / . RI
For ali Idle Moment.

For al Idle Moment.
Mistress penny for youT Thoughts.
Nora.
Cook-Thar'6 Just what mas thinking
Of
Aistress-Ezplain, Nora,
Cook-Ehy na'am, l Tas thinking Of
q copper.
The snail cog sought his mother.
"lIa." he said, the teacher talked Just
awful about ny manners to-day. She
told ne ! acted like boy Tho didn't
have any bringing up"
and what did you say" MS mother
asked.
81 excused you the hest / knew nov"
be replied, Z told her you was only my
stepmother.'
4 Cle7eland man recently told this
story Of the ReT. Stephen H. Tyne, fam
Gus New York divine Of generation ago:
a wealthy man came to him and said
he wanted to rent one of the most expen-
siye pews In the church. But he add
ed, "I'll only take it on one condition
you mustn't expect me to do any work"
The eminent rector smiled
My friend" he replied, "you ave
come to the wrong church. You beong
four blocks down the street, in the
Church of the Heavenly Rest"
a story from Harry Lauder: An ac-
Qnaintance Of his keeps some big drug
stores in Glasgow and is now the most
successful man. Il remember, however
when he frat started things went badly
for time with him." said Lauder, "and
one day found him in despair. Have
only had two customers all day. he said.
THE first spent twopenee, and the Sec
ond, little girl, nothing. All she want
ed was change for three-bit, as, she
said, my granny's feared it's no guide
one.
Cornelius z. Collins, the criminOlogist
and superintendent of New York's State
Prisons, narrated at a dinner In
Troy some "reminiscences Of his interest
ing work.
"a clever criminal Of gluttonOus pro-
cliyitles," he said, "once couched COM
plant In rather neat terms.
"My inspector, entering this mans cell
one day, foand it very hot and stuffy.
why have you got your 7entilator
closedp he asked.
"The burly and glattonous prisoner
answered plaintively:
We'll, inspector, yer honor, the last
time had the Tentilator open a wasp
few in, yoa see, and carried of ny din
ner while my back was turned
A Philadelphia newspaper reporter,
irudging dutifully over his district, OBJ
served crowd hanging about certain
corner down town and approached PC
lfceman.
What's The row over there2" the re-
porter asked.
The policeman grinnad. "Nothin',"
bat a wooden Heddin'."
"a wooden wedding?7 The newspaper
man pcndered ana reached for his pencil,
Why, It's wooden Tsddin',' answered
the policeman, in q nattsr-of-fact voice.
It's a couple Of Poles gettin' married. -
Mrs. DoIan lived II district which
was not favorable for the outdoor house
hold experiments recommended by the
Ladies' heipeFas II might have been.
This fact Mrs, Dolan was rapidly Gssimi-
Iating. and IN manner not so uncommon
as it might be s1a blamed the estimable
periodical, Tor hel difficulties
L WishtI had holt o. that woman
that TaRs tha Handy Hints depart
mslt," she remarked 10 her husband one
morning after Eli early excursion into
the back yard, whence she returned in
high dudgeon,
Il fought you fought she was grand
wan" said lIT Dolal, cautiously testing
his cup OF tea.
Well, I've changed Hl6 miRd as I've
the rights TO do. replied his wife. She
said to put sody on thin stains in the
ra6lseloth, and Fave il out over night on
the line. an they'd be gone entirely
Whin morning come. Sure lis the table
cloth that's gone-the decaTing woman
that she isI''
The Sp0rtsmaR'S Monthly