davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
Quite a pInerenee.

Johnnie Say. dad. how do you pr
nounce explorer Knud RAsmussens
first name-with a short u or a long
one?"
Dad tvho doesn't knowt-Aw, what
difference does it maker
Johnnie-''Well. guess It makes a
big difference whether a man is mud
or nude up there in the arctic re-
gions,"
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
Better Yet.

Scientists have succeeded In com
pressing a square meal into cake the
size OF soda cracker.
That's fine. but It is not exactly
what the world is crying for"
Then what is-"
The world wants the price OF
square meal compressed into e disc
the size OF a quarter
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
AlMaxa Lucky.

Mcconnell-sure. isn't Larry always
tn lucky byef
Murphy-Lucky.. do ye call him,
whin II was only yesterday that he
fell, hreakin' his leg an his earmf
MoConnell-Fsith. an wasn't he
lucky on that occasion, wild tn acct
dent takin' place within twinty fate
OF tn hospitaig
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
Family venera,Ion.

Munhsli--I suppose that Ducker. the
ten-pin manufacturer. uses an X for
trademark to Indicate his line OF
trade.
carrick-No. you're mistaken. He
uses II In memory Of his grandfather.
who started the business and who al
wayr used an x when sisnins his
name
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
ThouahtfuI Johnnie.

Fond Mamma-This lady is your
grandmsmma's oldest friend. Mrs.
Hopper Run and kiss her. Johnnie
Johnnie mot entranced by the os-
culatory ance)-Teacher was tellin'
us today. mamma. that faint healthy
to kiss persons promiskus. an ! guess
I'D better begin with Mrs. Hopper
cause it's to her int'rest. too.
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
Unreal.

Mrs. A.-Then you didn't care
much for the social comedy7"
Mrs. z.-''No. indeed: II was too
unreal"
Mira Ain what way. my dear.''
Mira. z.-"why. six months elapss
between act l and act 3. and yet the
Van stylowoods have the same cook.
You know that don't sound possible. .''
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
A BREAKFAST LYRIC.

The turkey is toothsome. tho oyster h
good.
Tho salmon In truly delicious:
The lobster and crab are As charming
when cooked
As alivo they arc ugly and vicious.
A outlet of lamb and q dish of green peas
Are fit for an epicure's dinner.
And bIurfish. when baked. with sauce
OF mushrooms,
Is always a sure enough winner.
The terrapin tempts you to squander your
coin.
30 dainty and rich is its flavor:
A saint on a fast-day would fall for n
gooBe.
With onion to heighten it's SAVIOR.
And even a Fietcherite. simple in taste.
HIS praise of fried chicken must utter.
But give ne psiteful of 1riddle-cakes
brown.
When smothered in sirup and butteri
-MinnA Irving in Leslie'A
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
To Serve a PURPOSE.

Young I-ady-Please show me your
extremest style OF hobble skirt
salesEirl-For yourself7
Young LRdy-No: for my chaperon.
Judge.
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
IN. RIo.som.

Years ago he was known as n bud
ding genius. but it seems he never
biossomsd /"
Guess you didn't notice his nose.
did youZ"
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23

Handling Her With oiovsa
Mrs. ADO you make your cook
pay for what she brsaksr'
Mira. B.--Asrcy. no. We'd never
bs able 10 keep her. What vs DO b
reward her hberalfy 1t the end Of -
~ month for what she didn't breAk.N
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
Method.

why do you read so many scisn-
tic and philosophic works."
MY motive is purely practical" rs-
piled Miss Cayenne when have
q tiresome caller can talk 80 pro-
foundly that he is sure to get sleepy
and 20 home
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
A Natural Mystery.

'Pa. II Mcthusalsh was tho Oldest
man. who was the oldest womanr
Hush. my sonl Not evsn ths -
sua man knows that"
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
Fine Fit.

What dyer fink o the new togs,
'Eneryg"
Absolutely puniok. They couldn't
Mt yer better IL you was born in emf
London Opinion.
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
Weather.

Our preacher is a pious man.
But practical. ihat's plain
He always looks at the weather reports
Before he preys for rain.
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
Very Expensive.

The man whose brain Is not all Dutch
VIII only have one wife.
Because II coats 80 blooming much
To lead double life
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
Easy.

How the dickens am to open my
oysters Ahi Happy thought, IN
yawn; they say It's catching-Pele
Mele.
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
Once Upon a Time

-once could have bought the site
OF Chicago for 500
Il know how 1t is. old man Once l
had a chance 10 buy a beefstesk for
IS cents a pound
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23

From crinolines to Hobbies.
How varied is the ceaseless shock
OF fashions ways 30 nckie.
She once looked like a hoiiyhook.
6he now looks like n pickle.
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
A Sad Case

A Sad Case.
whats the matter with Pipps this
morning? He looks like a nervou-
wrecki"
His wife dragged him out last
night to hear lecture on phagocyto-
sis and Pipps' specially is baseball"
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23

Pertinent Inquiry.
I have a lot of seif-esteem.
II is no more than meet:
But why should my neighbors sesm
To show 30 much conce.t7
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23
A Necessity.

80 some of the employers in New
York won't recognize the buttonsf-
"They would have to n they eve,
took up the church collections"
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23

He-why won't you marry me .
Enough for one is always enough for
two. you know.
she-Have you enough for one'
He-Yes.
She-Which oneg
Cañon City record., 1911-02-23

The fines, of baked goodv. includ-
ing AL ;he little aaiuties: at sl times
Mt the Star Bakery. i7s-st.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21
Atty PAID"

But they played the game, though
with the obviousness Of infants.
Did you ever see such fine wealth,
er as we're having these days?" spoke
a third. "This here weather is enough
to make a man contented with his
lot in life If he was a convict n
Chile. 1t makes me think Of when
was a little child on my own mothers
knee at home, so 1t does"
The door-opener was dragging at
his pipe.
II var wondering II all you men
has weapons" he said. mot that
only I've always been in favor Of a
man having a weapon on h.r', II it's
nothing but a lady's pen-knife, espe-
cially when you're going to be intro
duced to strangers"
And then followed another round
Of the leather.
Speaking Of weapons" resumed
the door-opener, 81 once knowed a
man who got hurt fearful in Callao
by not having a thing on his person
by a Portuguese in an argument
about whether the king of England
wasn't the pope of the Protestant
church."
The weather man absently swal,
lowed a few ounces, staring hard at
the door.
Religion is a thing l never bother
with" he said.
bill didn't bother with it neither"
assented the door-opener. "He was a
good man. Bill was his name. His
name was Bill Brown. Come from
Kentucky. He was drunk when be
died. But he was a good man"
There was a vessel In the stream
yesterday" the weather man ven
tured, that was four months out
from Santiago with ten inches Of
barnacles and the master dead in the
cabin. The biscuits was full Of
weevils."
"I see a Whitehall for sale for $25
this morning" said the door-opener,
with his head cooked to one side,
listening with his entire body.
1t wal indeed a hard and gritty
game; a game of dismal emptiness,
CHASTITY ~pretense, and hooking un-
reality-the poisonous thin vapor that
swims over the craters rim before
the volcano belches up its world-de-
stroying fire. Longwood figured that
II a mar should happen to get him
self killed in such a place and ia
such a company it would be the equiv
alent of wandering away Unseen to
the heart Of the Sahara desert.
But q knock at the door steadied
them.
There he is now!" exclaimed the
d~oor-opener. and he let In an indi-
vidual In . loosely fitting storm coat
"a man Of a social species different
from that OF the men who ere sit
ting here. He had Ebout him . way
that Longwood recognized ~ that OF
thu business man in a Transaction
with laborers: Z pragmatic. seAf-com-
posed air. that sajd u plain - words.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21
New sehem. to Water Flowers.

One of the most effective window
demonstrators now entertaining gap
ing New Workers owe not, speaks
not and draws no salary, but interests
the crowd. The exhibition k
place in a florists window. 1t con-
sists Of a huge tin pail Of water stand
ing on a table about four feet from
the floor. Hanging over the edge Of
the pail are strips Of muslin varying
in width from one to three inches.
These muslin strips are firmly an
chored at one end inside the pail by
means Of weights, while the other end
rests on flower pots which are ar
ranged in a circle around the table.
we are giving this demonstration
the florist said, ito show people how
to water their plants when they shut
up their apartment and go ava for
four or five days at a time. The wa
ter soaks slowly through the muslin
into the earth and keeps 1t at a uni
form moisture. The width of the mus
lin strips varies with the size OF the
flower pots. A pail of this size will
supply all of these flowers for a week
New York SUM-.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21

to Bostwick was not precisely the
story he toll to me. Longwood was
a business man who had a knack OF
getting prices which his heaviest
competitors would not eve dream of
asking. and l fancy that he kept his
business wits about him on that i'm
portant day-the most important day
since his mother gave him birth. But
you will never be able to understand
how the game was spread between
them until you have learned what
Longwood did in San Francisco TWEEN
ty years before; for 1t was then that
he came by the money that gave him
his little start mean after he lost
his job In Boston nj went out to the
a with all his belongings con-
verified into ready none
To Longwood's fancy San Francis
CO., while he still had money, was a
Garden of Eden In which men had
been placed for the sole purpose of
seizing with both hands the pleasures
of the world and the flesh. When the
ozone poured In from the ocean, and
the crystalline weather cordialed his
brain n his spinal cord, the shacks
Of which Market street vas built
turned by the SUI into palaces
Of mere JOY. The restaurants, with
their lights and linen, were, for him,
the supping rooms Of kings. The
painted women who clustered in the
streets Of evenings were the dainty
princesses Of a fairy realm. The
houses on the hill tops we're trans
P,rr~aI ;n%1 %ho l,1~.~ d-,oI;p-. -
glad and airy gods. But Longwood
was not aware that he was thinking
in these e1travagant terms. His edu-
cation had never been carried beyond
the grammar school. And yet had
he been able to do SO, that is the way
he would have phrased it-while his
money lasted.
When his money was all gone he
began to realize that the geographical
position of San Francisco had been
chosen for the quick accomplishment
of one or the other of two specific
things: Suicide or s~eafaring. And
when Longwood, indorsing the secon
alternative, started to walk to the
water front in search Of a job as a
sailor before the mast, he was
clothed in the raiment of a tramp.
On the whole, he seemed to be glad
Of 1t. anyway. Printing and binding
up to that time-had not been for
him the golden purse Of Fortunatus.
He knew the business well; knew 1t
from the tannery up; knew 1t in its
practical and theoretical phases; the
printing part. the binding part, the
finance. But nothing ..as doing in
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21
business Woman ORGANIZE.

Mrs. Robert A. Woods presided at
the recent gathering OF business won
en- III Boston at which the first step
was taken toward forming a perma-
nent organization. With the excep-
ton of a few ONE lawyers all the
women attending this meeting occupy
executive places in the business world
of Boston. Addresses we're made by
Miss Bertha Slennon, Mrs. Mary A.
Moran, Mrs. Alice Parker Lesser, Miss
Alice Grady, Miss Mary A. Mahan and
Miss Josephine Brourtan. A commit
tee to investigate and report on fur
ther plans was appointed and a meet
ing called for this month, when a per-
manent organization will be made,
probably under the name OF the Down
Town club.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21

San Francisco in hat line, and SO far
as Longvood was concerned. nothing
was doing in San Francisco in any
line at all, If you made an exception
of suicide and seafaring.
And even at that, as he neared the
water front, 1t became questionable
with Longwood whether suicide would
not be preferable to seafaring-an
things weighed. Two months OF
pawning and selling had picked him
clean of his clothes and of every
other thing Of value he had; n a
| similar term on the bad whisky and
Spanish free lunch they were offer
ing at the Slovarian homes for the
friendless near the water front had
notified his face and impaired to his
eye the alertness and permanent IN.
ticipation you see on the visage OF
the man without a name. a Fran
cisco had danced him on her knee,
Kissed him and sang to him. And
now he was hustled and shoveled
about, not because he was counted as
worth the shoveling, but merely be-
cause he seemed to be in somebody's
way.
What an accommodating town, to
be sure! In the days Of his pre-
ternatural Joy the lustrous weather
touched him with It's wand Of gold
and qu1ckened the streams of his
blood. In the time Of his adversely
the rain fell on him day after day,
as ii the ocean had been transplanted
to the sky and was vainly endeavor-
ing to get back.
Seafaring? Yes. To be kicked by
the intellectually kicked; to say
nothing Of falling from the top of a
mast some day to find your home In
the bounding deep. He was trying
to use himself to the thought when he
felt a touch on the shoulder and
heard a voice in his ear.
Did you sign with the Tropic
Dawn"
He was q man you would never
have loved for his open and sunny
~countenance, having on the contrary
the general aspect Of q walrus drip
ping and ~new-seated on it's wave
washed Icy throne. He had not ques'
toned Longwood with his eyes, but
gaZed with a stupid stAre-6tuplQ ana
cunning-whi1e waiting for the an
swer, into the thick mist and sitting
rain that were blowing in on a soft
breeze from the bay. The style of
| his dress, whatever it may aave been.
was hidden by his %glittering rain
| coat: and his sailor helmet conspired
with the coat II obliterate all traces
Of a neck.
"why do you ask7 Have you got .
job?"
He motioned to Longwood with his
| fat body rather than with his head,
| and waddled swiftly away along the
water front, never turning to ses
whether he were followed or not, and
never drawing q breath until lie
swung into a barroom called the Cove
| of Rest, half filled with men who
| were comfortinG themselves with
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21
Sanitation Is Salvation.

Disease germs are invisible, it IL
true. but they find shelter and breed
ing places in dirt, which is easy to
see. II cleanliness is made the rule
of life innumerabIe seeds Of possible
Illness and death will be washed
away without opportunity to do their
destructive work. Sanitation is the
salvation Of many lives. It 10 science
applied to the conquest OF death.
within the allotted normal span Of
human existence. But plain, ordinary,
old-fashioned cleanliness goes Tar to
accomplish the same purpose and 90
the same service for mankind.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21

quart glasses of steam beer and with
pale whisky sold by the measure az
an encouragement to the trade. On
he went to the back door. which he
pushed open with his foot, and then
on down the steps that led to the
cellar.
At sight OF the black pit below
Longwood paused, forgetting for the
moment that his negligee outfit was
the union card of his perfect safety;
but down he followed on the heels
Of his guide until he was stopped
by the bulk of him where he was
standing in the darkness knocking
softly.
When a door opened Longwood
could see a light so thickly shrouded
in tobacco smoke that 1t seemed to be
a mile away. 1t came from a coal-oil
lamp that swung from the ceiling over
a table about which three good men
were sitting with glasses and liquor
for all; and as Longwood pushed past
his companion and into the room. the
banged it shut. turned the key, seated
himself at the table, and looked
around at his DIS,
Five" he said, filling himself a
drink and pointing to a chair. Set
down and get busy with the booze"
There was a false front or the
whole affair; an appearance OF ease
and good fellowship that covered
over the futtering heart of canker
and expectation. It vas the dismal
phantom Of conversational p~oliteness
such as you see at the race track
when the horses are coming through
the stretch and the bettors are prop
ping themselves up with the broken
reeds of hope. Longwood drank and
waited. The door-opener led the way.
Men" he said, 81 have drank good
liquor in every latitude and close to
near every longitude in the world,
but this here liquor is the best liquor
l evcr tasted"
not thinking of it.
This here is good liquor added
another of them, not seeing 1t and
not thinking of it, but it amt the
finest of the fine by a long ways. 1t
amt got the taste that mo-qua has
got. Mo-qua is the Chin-Chin cham
payne, and I once drank 1t in Canton,
but it'll put you to sleep for four days
If you snuff up enough of it at a set
ting"
It was gritty work-this polite CON
versation-gritty and Improbable for
plain blunt men accustomed to the
alternatives of speaking their minds
or remaining dumb like the beasts.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21

It's the united effort Of little things
that make big troubles.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21

done more for me than al b DOCTORS
1 feel it my duty to tell you these
facts. MY heart Is full Of gratitude to
you for my cure."-Mrs. HARRIET d.
WAMPLER, ga s. Ransom Street.
Ottumwa, Iowa.
Consider This Advice.
No woman should submit to q surgt-
cal operation, which may mean death.
until she has given Lydia =. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound q fair trial.
This famous medicine, made only
from roots and herbs, has for thirty
years proved to be the most valuable
tonic and ~invigorator Of the female
organism. Women residing in almost
every city and town in the United
States bear willing testimony to the
wonderful virtue of Lydia r.. PINK
hams Vegetable Compound.
Mrs. Pinkham, at Lynn. Mass,
invites all sick women to- write
her for advice. Her advice ts 1roep
confidential. and always helpful
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21

A trial package of Munyon's Paw Paw
Pills will be sent free to anyone on re
quest. Address Professor Munyon, 53d B
Jefferson Sts., Philadelphia, Pa. If you are
in need Of medical advice, do not fail to
write Professor Munyon. Your
cation will be treated in strict condolences,
and your case will be diagnosed as care
fully as though you had . personal inter
view.
Munyon's Paw Paw Pills are unlike
al other ~Iaxatives or cathartics. They
coax the liver into activity by gentle
methods. They do not scour, they do
not grippe, they do not weaken. but they
do start all the secretions of the liver
and stomach in a way that soon puts
these organs in a healthy condition and
c~orrccts constipation. In my opinion
constipation il responsible for most all
ments. There are 20 feet of human
bowels, which is really . sewer pipe.
When this pipe becomes clogged the
whole system becomes poisoned, causr
ing biliousness, Indigestion and impure
blood, which often produce rheumatism
and kidney ailments. No woman who
suffers with constipation or any liver
ailment can expect to have . clear
complexion or enjoy good health.
I had my way / would prohibit the saie
of n%ine-tenths of the cathartics that are
now being sold for the reason that they
soon destroy the lining Of the stomach.
setting up serious forms OF indigestion,
and 70 paralyzs the bowels that they p
fuse to act unless forced By stEons
purgativss.
Munyon's Paw Paw Pills ars . tands
70 the stomach. liver and nerves. Thy
invieorats instead Of weakens thy =
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21
THE SWAG
OF THE TROPIC DAWN
Copyright. by Joseph B. Bowles.)
BY Bernard Nicer

days a week Bostwick.
the banker, sat in his high
vaulted office, through the
glass door of which he
could survey at a glance
the long line of the banks
Quitting. the fretted, tes-
sellated ceiling, with it's
glittering mosaic domes,
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21
Her Meteorlo Flight.

Post (at luncheon)I wonesr what
our new cook will be like?
Mrs, Post-Oh, John! She lett TIN
morudng.-Harporis BaSAr.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21

WOMAN
CURED
By Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

Ottumwa, Iowa.-"For years I was
a constant sufferer from female
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-07-21

CrOuDl0 III AlA 4tO
dreadful forms ;
shooting pains all
my body, sick
headache, spinal
weakness, dizziness.
d epressio and
everything that was
horrid. tried many
in different
parts Of the United
States, but Lydia -.
Vegeta
bile COMPOUND has
The Sentinel=record., 1911-09-22
FLY OVER ATLANTIC

New York shpt. 21.-The con quest of the Atlantic is contemplat- ed by an unnamed Danish airman, wao describes his plans in a letter to be published in the Nord s.yse. a Danish newspaper published in He writes he will fly next spring from Copenhagen to New York, resting only at London and Queenstown and upon ships sta toned at intervals across the North Sea and the Atlantic Ocean.
The Sentinel=record., 1911-09-22
ELECTION FRAUD
 INDICTMENTS
TRUE BILLS RETURN. ED IN REGENT PRIMARY IN
 MlsslssIPPI.
Names of Persons Prominent in Rusi ness, Church and Politics
 Are Mentioned


 Broolkhaven, Miss. Sept. 21--Af- ter special session of fourteen days in which 316 witnesses were exam ined, the Lincoln county grand jury has been Investigating the alleged vote selling at the August demo cratic primary, finally adjourned 10. day, having returned 56 true blls, not all of which, however, charge vote trafficldng. Seven arrests have been made. All will be arraigned for trial September 25.
 The names of many prominent per sons, both in church and politics, hae been connected with tratrfic in votes.
 The names of those indicted will not be divulged until iarres,s are made.
 Those arrested so far and released on $500 bail are:
 Babe" HemphiiE, FSed Warren, former member of the grand jury: B. H. Johnson, Jeff Brett, two charges; John Falvey, J. Clint Jchn- son. John P. Brown, all farmers. From the evidence We have before ns and from which we are able to ascertain" said ithe report of the jury, we find that there are men in the county who seem 10 think they had right to buy and sell votes as | If they were Iarcels of personal lproperty."
The Sentinel=record., 1911-09-22
INTERNATIONAL PEACE

Albany, N. r., Sept. 21.-The 'In- ternational Peace Forum with prin- cipal offices in New York ciiy. was today to promote peace among the nations of mankind and in the industrial world" The direc- tors include Henry Clews, Alexander S. Cochran of New York, Dr. George E. Reed, Harrisburg, Pa, William Middletown, and Robert Los Angeles.
The Sentinel=record., 1911-09-22
ACQUITTED OF MURDER

Ardmore, Okla, Sept. 21-County Attorney James II. Mathers, who shot and killed William Ballew in his office last Friday and whose trial began yesterday. was found not guilty today by jury after a six deliberation. Mathers on the stand yesterday related Of .te pistol duel in his office with Ballew who had come in to threaten him.
The Sentinel=record., 1911-09-22
LA TOILETTE NOT SURPRISED

Washington, Sept. 21--Senator La Toilette said the result in Canada was not altogether a surprise.
 T consistently opposed reciprocI- ty In this country" said the Wls- consin senator, '"and do not think the result affects my argument one way or the other. Apparently the financial interests fin Canada were afraid the treaty would iniure them. p
The Sentinel=record., 1911-09-22

Give c. J. Greens New Mar ket, 134 Central avenue a trial order. Everything new, neat clean, sanitary, up-to-date. Tn; best K. c. meats, etc. Call or just phone 1177, prompt sery. ice. 9-10-tf