The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-16

estate mortgage exceeds the valuation of all the real estate in many of the States.
 If anybody has an idea that the New York business man is without sense of humor let him read this gem which was prominently posted at the recent Cotton Exchange banquet.
 Don't shake hands with the walters. they are careful with whom they asso- ciate.
 Don't put sugar on your oysters.
 Don't gargle your soup.
 Don't spill the gouash on your dress suit, you might have to buy it.
 Don't throw china it has been fired already.
 Don't wear tennis or tan shoes, all the first families are wearing sandals this year.
 Don't swear If the peas roll off your knife, send the head waiter fol: some glue sauce.
 Don't sing all the popular airs in com pany with the orchestra; remember the poor devils have families to support and cannot leave until the dinner is over. Don't wear a frilled dress shirt a wait CT might mistake it for soiled napkin and remove it.
 Don't chuck dice with the sugar, the market will be open tomorrow.
 Don't insult the king justs because he has a game foot; remember he will recover some day
 Don't tip the committee, your heartfelt thanks Is all they desire. Don't blame the committee if you don't sleep tonight; remember they are not responsible for the mixture you con sume.
 Don't sprinkle salt down your neigh bors neck. tabasco is much more effec- tive
 Don't wear your rancoat in the din ing room, those guests that splash will be removed by the floor committee.
 Don't knock the speakers; stop and think how many would stay if you started to talk.
 And last, but not least
 Don't tell us tomorrow morning that the subway was blocked They are laughing along the Great White Way over this. A well known actress, who has become famous through her numerous misfor- tunes and the ina gination of her press agent, wrote recently to a Boston hotel for rooms. In reply the manager wrote:
 If you stay here there must be no | robbery of jewels any bogus accident in connection with this hotel. No mad man must burst into your room declar- Ling that you are his long-lost bride. l must burst into your solemn undertak- ing in writing that this hotel shall not be dragged into any notoriety in con- nection with an aristocratic looking man. who after seizing your s20,O00 diamond tiara presented to you by the Pres- dent of a South American Republic tried to stab you and escaped along the cor ridor. Nor even must your priceless iace bed hangings without which you never travel catch fire | The chief of your maids must on no account be discovered, while here, to be sonambuist, who tries to jump off the balcony with your s251.c09 jewel case anxiety for which has caused all the | mischief locked in her orms.'' | The manager added that barring the above few qualifications he would be pleased to accord the actress the run of the hotel. M Every once in a while question Is raised as to the correctness of famous remarks of famous men on great occa- sions" remarked John A. Gregg or Atlanta, Ga. Recently there has been considerable discussion regarding the re- mark attributed to Gen. Sherman who, | if is claimed, described war as hell.
 Several persons have vehemently de- nied that Sherman ever made such a remark. and I have been told that none less than his son made this denial. 1 few weeks ago in Atlanta Judge Cal hcun, who was present when the com mittee of Atlantas citizens called upon Gen. sherman with the request to pro