The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1911-01-05

and they looked to me like relatives
Of Bunch. Bunch owned the country
house l had borrowed to present to
Clara J.. for just one day; but I hadn't
been able to pry her loose from the
domicile. | had told Clara ]. the two
DANES were my aunts, but she was
still suspicious.
Well" said Clara J., after a pain
ful pause. why don't you go and wei
come yorr Aunt Eliza?"
Aunt Lie would be the central fig
Ere in a hot old time If she went
where I wished her at that moment.
Somebody had tied both my feet to
The floor.
had visions of two excited females
hmbasting me with umbrellas and
demanding their property back.
Completely at a loss, 1 sank int a
chair, feeling as bright and clipper
rs a poached egg.
l felt that I belonged Just about as
much as a knothole does in a barb
Ffre fence.
I was on the pickle boat for sure.
Sailing, Sailingl over the griddNs.
mel
Scientists tell us that when a man
Is drowning every detail Of his life
time passes before him in the fraction
Of a second.
Well, that moving picture gag
was worked on me, without the aid of
, bathing suit.
When / awoke Clara ]. vas saying,
Possibly it would look better II
vent with you. Wait just a moment.
HI I get this apron of-there. Come
Rlong!"
arose, and with delightful unanim-
Ity the chair arose also, clinging like
passionate porous plaster to my
pantaloons.
Mercy" exclaimed Clara j., "tkat
.nttle villain. Tacks, has been making
nolasses candy!"
at strikes me-" I said, trying hard
10 be calm. that after making the
candy he decided to make a monkey
pf me. Darn the blame thing, 1t
won't let goi I suppose I've got to be
. perpetual furniture mover the rest
Of my life!"
Just then Uncle Peter came bdb-
bling into the kitchen, talking in short
explosions like a bottle OF vichy, and
1 elaborated with the chair in a
squatty-vousI
1.-TWO women on the piazza" he
hzzed; been talking to them an hour
and all I could get out of them was
fyes' and no. Not bad looking, but
profoundly dumb"
Hush" said Clara J., glancing IN
easily at me and then back at Uncle
Peter, as she raised a warning finger
10 her lips
"Oh, they can't hear me-" the old
gentleman went on; John. you bet.
ter go out and see them. They have
a card with your name written Oh it.
I'm no lady's man. anyhow"
do they look like queens?" Clara
D. asked, ~uneasily.
We'll, they aren't exactly Cleopa-
tras. but not bad. not bad." he CUR.
gled.
"Ts IN older than the otner?" Clara
J.. cross-questioned-
Might be mother and daughter
Uncle Peter fancied.
Its surely Bunch's bunch" /
groaned inwardly, wondering how I'd
look ~galloping across the country with
= kitchen chair trailing along behind.
Uncle Peter, 1t must be John Hen.
rvs aunt Eliza and cousin Julia. He
expects them; don't you, John?" Clara
explained. I'VE shah be ready to wei.
come them in just a little while
Here she glanced cautiously at the
chair. I'm the mean time you show
them into the spare room and say that
John will see them very SOON"
The old gentleman eyed me suspf
eiously and retired without a word.
I'm afraid Uncle Peter found i. hard
10 take.
With the kind assistance of the
carving knife Clara ]. removed ali Of
me from the chair. with the exception
DE- a few feet Of trousers, and | mads
aquick change of costume.
A few minutes later l joined her ir
the parlor, where the scene was Sc
for my finish. l picked out a quie
spot near the piano to oie.
Uncle Peter was enjoying ever,
minute of it.
He hurried off to escort the visitor,
ID the parlor and a moment later m,
OWN Aunt Martha hustled in.
Are they here?" she asked, breath
lessly.
How did you know they were com
lng?" inquired Clara j., in surprise,
tones.
How did I know!" exeIaime,
Auntie; why. I sent them!"
Every hand was against me. TIL,
parachute had failed to work and
was dropping On the rocks.
Family and far away / could hea
the ambulance coming at a gaIIop.
: Sweet spirits of am monia. but l wa
up againstki it,
1t was plainly evident to me tina
Aunt Martha knew the awful rela
lives q Bunch. and that. the old lad,
was camping OF my trail Yes; Their
shs stood. old Aunt Nemesis, glarin
ut me from behind her s~pectacles.
| decided to die without going owe
near the piano.
Where are they?" I could hea
Aunt Martha asking In the same ton
Of voice ! was certain the Roman en-
peror used when just about to fran
mp q finale for a few Christians fror
pver the Tfber.
Uncle Peter has gone for them: W
put them in he spare room," Clara
nnsNs1ed.
What! IN the spare room." gaspe
Aunt Martha, c~ollapsing in a chat
yust as Uncle Peter appeared in th
Doorway. bowling low before the visi
o., who stalked clumsily into the pa
he DOESN'T LIKE HOLIDAY