Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1911-07-25
About slstsrs-in-Law.

About Sl8eef9-lo.LAW.
So often has the position OF the moth
er-in-law been discussed that the term
.'relstive-in-law" Immediately projects
upon the mental vision tho maternAl
figure in ono Of two attitudes-either
battling for tho possession OF her child
unchanged affection. or, lesa frequently
renouncing 1t with self-sacrihce 0eauu'
full but unappreciated.
There is, however, another CLAW" 70.
lationship almost II not quito a. difficult
to maintain free from trespass upon an.
other . rights, yet retaining that precious
thing-the undisputed possession OF q
lifelong love. Is 1t not somewhat start'
ling and little shocking to realize how
rare it IL to find real friendship between
sisters-in-law? Yet il it altogether to be
wondered at? For the relationship be-
tween the loved sister and the loved wife
Is q very delicate one, moro 20, even,
than that between the mother and the
wife, because the claim of the sister ID
not so strong and unquestioned ~ that
of the mother.
Two women, meeting by chance, drift.
ed into an unprecedented exchange oil
ideas upon this subject.
81 am 60 tired of wandering about,
said one. 81 have travelled until
SILVER at steamers toot or an engines
whistle. I want to settle down and
don't want to marry. Why, why didn'
nv parents provide me with brotherp''
"if they had he would have been mar
ried by now, and you would have been
seeking an abiding place just tho same,
smiled the other.
"Then It would have been an abiding
place in his house," asserted the hrst,
emphatically. 1--WE never wanted sis
ter, but I've always wished for brother
and I'd like to see the wife that would
come between me and mine II ! had one
I don't mean that I'd step between them
but l would have been bis friend first
and I'd have right In his house. Why
l met girl the other day who was liv
ing at boarding-house-not . very good
one, either-and she told me her brother
was rich and willing she should live with
him, but she could not, because her sis
ter-in-law did not like her. Not like
you'll 1 said. We'll, II I were you Ia
make her like me. That's what families
are for But she seemed to think there
was no way Of winning over brother''
wife,"
I'm afraid" remarked the other
"that your estimate of me will be Low
when tell you that live at boarding
house, and have five brothers all mar
ried, and one sister-in-law who is'
widow"
"Si1m gasped the discontinued
traveller. "And don't you like any o.
them?'
ION the contrary, like them all, ant
1 believe they all like me. But one rea
son why l don't live with them Is that
do like them, and one reason they like
me is that don't live with them."
81 don't understand that one Bit
said the solitary one. "Of course know
nothing of family ties, but 1t always
seems that one of the sweetest-yes, thu
sweetest of all-might be that Of brother
and sister. They would be sort Of low
ers who would always be true and neve
suspect or misunderstood each other"
"Out of just that idea, my dear, a goot
deal of trouble grows" said the OK
perienced 'sister-in-law, gravely, "ant
the idea always originates with the girl
A brother never expects his sister to taxi
the place of sweetheart, and seldom
exhibits the least jealousy Of bis sister
lover or husband. II girl could onl!
feel the same way toward her brother
sweetheart or wife-but there! Girls are
not men, but girls. / was one myself
and 1t took me a long time to learn
some things"
"Whst thingsP" queried the traveller
"Well, I was ten years old when m!
first sister.in-lsw arrived, and the pang
Of my first ooth-pulling we're as nothing
| to the Jealous agonies 1 suffered at see
ing another take-as I thought-m!
place. I had been my Oldest brother
pet and plaything, and worshipped hin
only as little girl can worship . grow
man, and to see him make much of he
was torture. She must have been nice
girl, for she 10 q nice woman now, bu
the three months they lived with US wer,
misery to me. For ten years l acquired
sisters-in-law, until l had large ant
varied assortment of them. My feeling
toward the four coming between the frs
and last ranged from indifference t
genuine liking, but the last one carried
of the brother who was my chum, tw'
years my senior, and l think-yes, IN
sure-I hated her. She was girl IN
congenial to myself, and when Jack fel
in love with her It was simply unendul
able to me. His tastes and mine, hi
ideals and mine were 90 alike, and t
have that girl, who appeared to hav
nothing in common with either Of us
take possession of him, body and soul
1 could not understand that their dis
similarity was source Of attraction, ant
| did not know that there were require
ments of his nature which she perfectl
satisfied. Jacks love for me was ~ sin
cere as mine for him, but the jealous,
was left out, as 1t always is In q brother
and he couldn't understand the feeiipl
between bis wife and myself. She wa
~ jealous of me as of her, and for tw'
years We made him miserable. The.
then went to China, and never saw hin
again. When, five years later, we stoot
together by his coffin we both realized
how small We had been to each othe
and how cruel to him, to whom 1t woul'
have been such happiness to see u
friends. That IL what the jealous wifi
and sister overlook-that they are rem
dering wretched the one they both love
II each would yield the other her nstura
place, neither would be robbed, but !
one Is forced to stand aside, then It mus
be the sister.
"A year never passes now that som'
one of my brothers does not suggest m!
making my home with bis family, and |
may be that circumstances will brini
this about some day, but want that da,
to be as far of a. possible. This 10 no
because ! do not care for my sisters-in
law, but, as distance surrounds our fail
ings with haze, and lends brightness l.
our virtues, prefer to keep my failing
and my virtues from too close inspection
by those women whose friendship I priz
next to that of their husbands, and
knowing that none of the six are angels
prefer not to be too familiar with tn
details of their earthliness. visit then
mot too frequently-and through let
tors We keep in touch with each other
interests, and should It ever seem hes
that We should live together hope b
find something OF q sisters as we'll a.
brothers love awaiting me; but that Cal
only be through recognizing that sis
ter's place In her brothers. heart is on
tirely separate from that of bis wife
This ''sweethesrt" idea between brothe
and sister 10 q great mistake. As tn
years 60 by 1t drops away naturally, bu
the harm 1t does often lasts through life
Il IL Al II 4 l.