davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17
PECOS WANTS THE
DOCTORS MEETING

Pecos, Tex, Nov. 17.-LOcaI doctors
will leave here next week for Midland
to attend the annual meeting OF the
Big Springs-El Paso Medical associa-
ton Pecos will be placed in nomina-
ton for the next meeting.
Mr.. and Mrs. F. Woody Johnson, Rev.
and Mrs. J. 3. Cole and A. G. Taggart
Of the First Baptist church have been
chosen delegates from the Pecos dis
trlct to the state Baptist Convention,
which meets at Waco November %.
They will attend. Rev. J. B. Cole re-
Gently chosen pastor for the local
church for another year, has begun his
fourth years pastorate at Pecos.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17
LITTLE STORIES.
n HInck Hnnd-

The Black Hand.
charitably- disposed official Of the
municipal government at Washington
tells OF an interesting exchange Of
views between two urchins at a dinner
given to the newsboys Of the capital by
popular subscription.
As the lads We're waiting for their
dessert they placed their grimy hands
side by side on the tablecloth
Mine is dirtier than vOursP' was the
claim made by one boy.
Maybe 1t is" said the second news
boyi but you don't Wanter fergit
you're two years older'n me"
Blue Grass Bon Mots.
Representative Cushman was talking
on the lumber tariff. says the Wash
lngton Post, and a Kentucky member
interrupted. ooh" replied Cushman,
state Of Kentucky, which produces the
best whisky, the fastest horses and the
most beautiful women; but what does
he know abOut this?
I'm told they make whisky there
so good that they have to blindfold
themselves before drinking IT, because
II they saw it 1t would make their
mouths water, and that would spoil the
Mr.. Stanley, Of Kentucky, was on his
1eet in reply. Sir" he said, Ken
lucky Is justly proud Of its horses, its
WHISKY and It's women. But it pays
tax Of Sl.10 per gallon on its whisky
and pays It gladly; its horses are be-
ing put out Of business as fast as anti
racing laws viii DO it. and as to its
women, why. sir, I want to say that
kentucky viii never appeal for prOtec-
ton Tor her women so long as the an
gels in heaven don't engage IN beauty
contest among themselves"
And then Mr.. Cushman went right on
talking about lumber, stopping Occa-
sionally to pick silver out Of him
self.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17
The Daily Horoscope ByT.k Hsadst
November IT,

Fortunate those who acted the Gink's advice
Yesterday and brought their affairs settlement For
while the Is still in the Libra sign Venusin
conjunction sort of lOveadness Is apt to upset the
soundest judgment. Queer quirks and twists viii come
the ordinary sober lives of staid and solid people
Respectable elderly gentlemen viii be peculiarly susceptible
the Jnruy influences of the tender passion If they
pretty stenoaphes associates of the opposite
advise them to stay away from the office today to
binders and muzzles. For Venus is working mis-
ohevous SPELL and the normal state OF mind will be all
shot to pieces Happily the influence does not last long
and if the day be passed safely all will be we'll At
least this peculiar form of funaey" viii have passed. If
birthday however, the influences reversed for you
win be fortunate.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17
IN AND OUT on the CITY.
(Philadelphia Reeord.

If George Washington never told a
lie he couldn't have been much Of a
fisherman.
A family descends from father to son,
and sometimes the descent is some
thing fierce.
A nervous man is easily undone but
the way dresses are now built Il IS
hard to undo a woman.
II e wasn't for rectifying the mis-
takes Of our youth we wouldn't have
much to do in our old age
When it comes TO buying wedding
presents for him IL is extremely doubt
ful If all the world loves a lover.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17
UJ'c Waits Denatured Poem

coughing mother coughing my Of joint and wish you'd
nv havecO in
in
the
kinds till coughing the plaster
THE BAD coughei counertenor
SEASON oghed rumbng
n the dope yoIye brought
rot throat and
goat. change
gand grease;
perhap lie n
Copyright 1911, by George Matthews CUaa&Tta%"NA
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17
The Coming Food Famine

OUR world rapidly having the wind
exporting food stu5 steadily dninshes
years exported wheat to feed 100000
persons would fed only 100000
100000 head Of live stock for
purposes than OnfOuTth
100000 pounds
averge productivity The prOduc
population steadily decreasing The
steadily The cuvatedarm acreage has
methods and population
decade another ten viii be
consuming produce and viii be
importing exporting almost nothing
per the soil
centuries natural conditions
First increase farm
population the productivity Of each
present. among highest Of yield found
snyhnsOed New England while the
averages great The middle
applied irrigated farms where
ordinary fields regions principles
good applied Of living is affected by the
prevailing prices food products by other
only agricultural products
given
the nations eat all raise
what profit is there in that?
The only sources Of real capital products
accumulation
that stored and utilized in
production.
goal
for everything that during the six
great pity
revolutionary
plenty
Of hand to que1 ioting the start
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17
The @Gink" Says:

to be however, he nIIuences
and your affairs win be fortunate
copyright, 1911, The Adams Newspaper servicel
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17
Woman Always the Victim

Has Shared Every Danger Hero Among UnrecOgn5ed
By FRANCES L.'GARSIDE.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17

FHIRTYFIRsT YEAR OF PUBLICATION
SUPERIOR
leo west Texas c.
by Herald
Il B Stevens J.. A J.
F. r. A
L Sharpe. and
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17

Henry P. Seidemann. fiscal fnspec-
tor Of the United States recIama ton
service. has returned to washington.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17

adero has reached the goal ambiOn-hch that
blamed everything that goes wrong during the years
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-11-17

great pity
revolutionary passed
part federal
o troops 0 queI any noing a
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26
His Christmas Mistake.

~ HE president Of the cold storage
company pushed the button with
glad smile on his face.
Enter the manager in response.
Mr.. Jackson, how many employees
have we at this house?"
Forty, SIR
And all good men,"
Every one of them"
present each one of them with a
Christmas turkey and my compli-
ments."
Yes, sir"
Mr.. Jackson retires, but is back
again fifteen minutes later.
"Wen?"
"Not man will accept of bird,
sir!"
80. Why, what can it mean?"
"They say they have been in stor-
age a year."
"Ah, I had forgotten. Hand out
those turkeys we received last week
and chuck the others back to wait
another year. They'll be even bet
ter for the public them"
JOE KERR.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26

H e was an old grey-headed man
with a benign countenance, and
as he entered the street car we
all noticed that he had a little toy
lamb in his hand. 1t wasn't even
wrapped up in paper. The Inference
was plain. The old man had grand
son to whom that lamb was to be
Santa Claus gift. 1t was touching
and tender, and the tears were al
most in the eyes Of the man next to
him as he addressed the old man
with:
II see you are going to play San
ta?"
mo, I haint!' was snapped in re-
ply.
THAT toy there. 1 thought 1t
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26
Beware of the Next One.

n H, turkey, don't you get too gay
Oh, gander hold thy smile;
" Oh, duck and pullet gurgle not,
But wisely wait awhile.
IT'S true the Christmas massacre
You have escaped all right:
And you are feeling cock-a-hoop,
And sitting good and tight.
But mind your eye, my feathered
friend,
AS warned, don't get too gay:
They didn't get your scalp this time,
But may on New Years Day.
.-. , JOE KERR
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26
SHE WON'T GET 1T.
might be for a grandchild."
"Well If hain't"

might be for a grandchild."
We'll, it hain't.' ..
Some one sent for it by you?"
mo. they didn't. I got it on my
had a fuss yesterday. Pm taking
this lamb home to stick under her
nose and say: 49,.
Sarah, look at this! If you'd be-
haved yourself you'd have got it for
u Christmas present. But you had
to rear up on your hind-legs and pick
fuss with me. and now %s
"Now what 2" asked the other.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26
Before Another Christmas.
N ORTER-HOUSE steak may be
ten cents pound. "a.

N ORTER-HOUSE steak may be
ten cents a pound. ..E .n .
Your taxes may come down. =
You may get 1000 pounds for ton
of coal. ~. ~.> . ~
That divorce YOU are looking for
may come.
The widow with farm may say
yes. .tr .!#
Cats may cease to run out nights.
The man who found your wallet
may return 1t. ..,%.. ~,
The 10y riders may all be killed off.
Popcorn balls and peanuts may
take a drop.
You may get free flfty-cent lunch
with every glass of beer
The Canucks may come around to
Reciprocity -
The Mexicans may stop revolving.
We may have found out who is
who in China. '.H 80 49,:
About fifty more aviators may have
come down with plump. -
We may have got that overcoat out
Of pawn at last. IA g. g.
The mother in-law may have learn
ed her lesson. ' .'./.
The trusts may have A..
But what's the use of talking? Eat
your Christmas dinner, man, and be
glad that you were not born goat
JOE KERR.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26

Wifey-Henry, what were you con-
versing with the ashnnan about?
Hubby-Why. Helen, was trying
to coax him to smoke those cigars
you gave me for Christmas pres
emit.
Hubby-Ah, you would like 70 -
him take the cigars?
s Wifey-Np, I want him to take
some perfume to his wife-you know.
dear, the perfume you selected for
my Christmas gift.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26
HER OFFER.

Mr.. ,Slimpurse-"We must econo-
mize. Suppose that you try your hand
at making your own clothes"
Mrs. Slimpurse-"Dearest I could
not do that. Suppose begin by try
ing to make yours -. as.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26
The Difference.

TN days Of old when Christmas
came
l got pocket knife;
l got a hobby horse to ride, H..
I got a drum and fife. H:
- r.. 1-
And yes, got pair of skates
To go upon the ice;
Also, pair of mittens warm,
And cap of fur so nice.
One time I got dollar watch r.
1t had merry tick; "'
Again I found a pistol there,
And scalping- knife so slick.
oh, Santa Claus was good to me,
My stockings he did fill;
When I look back to those old days
1t fairly makes me thrill.
I'm just as good and innocent
AS was long ago;
I believe in Santa Claus the same,
And tell, the old boys so.
But things have changed, and grieved
am, 3" r ~.
And I do sigh and pine,
/ hung my stockings up last night
And lemon got In mine!
j. -a JOE KERR.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26

"I'll throw it on the floor and jump
on it with a ha!-and I'll crush it to
pieces-and revenge will be mine
and Sarah may bawl and squall and
be dinged to herr"
..-...s.. JOE KERR. j..
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26
SURE THING.

The Poet-"Do you never have
soulful yearnings which you long to
convey In words, but cannot z? s
The 5Actor--'Ye s. I was once dead
didn't have the price OF q telegram"
THE ANSWER.
I Katherine''whe does that poll
tician get his pull?"
Kidder-" you seem to forget that
Tho was dentist In his youth"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-12-26
MOST LIKELY.

Miss Do Style-"I have traced my
family tree back two hundred years."
I Caller Down-"Must be kind Of
getting dead at the roots"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1911-12-28
Getting Out a Patent Kind Of Cop.


The examiners in the patent office
In washington are not always Walking
encyclopedias Of all trades, c~onseuuent.
ly once in awhile one of them makes
an amusing mistake through not know
Ing a technical term that is a common
place of some trade. For example. in
spinning mills a cop" is the conical
roll of thread formed on the spindle If
a spinning machine. An examiner WIZ
was not an expert on spinning received
an application for a patent (since is
sued) in which the applicant described
n OF his Illustrations as che repre-
sentation of a cop" The examine
wrote. quite seriously. a letter IL which
he sa.id:
The attention of the examiner being
called to this case. he regards it as in
no condition for official Judgment or
the merits. Applicant shows a device
which the examiner would be inclined
to regard as the representation Of 4
ball of Irvine. Applicant says. however
It Is the representation Of a cop. II
does not look like a policeman. which
20 the examiners mind is the pop1lIar
Specification of the word cop. and con.
s~equently the word requires some linli.
t%ations.'
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1911-12-28
Why Won,sn Prefer Euantnn

in The American Nae-azfrs F3,a
t@FIeE writing another OF her Emma
@t@nesheT stories, says that 10 wo-
men DIT girls OF IL and confirmed
DC A-s-2s ana travelling mems wives
want 10 50 10 Q matinee in preference
70 an evening performance. SpeciaI
stress IS laid On the travelling mans
N2ia WHO has 20 go 10 matinee rather
tEGn an evening performance because
q her husbands absence. She goes on
De you think any woman goes to
1latinees by Preference" Natfresi
say would YOU ever hesitate 10 choose
eek"eeH an aL-cay train and 2 ~slesper7
Il tAe same idea What q woman
eat4s going 70 taa theater IS sou,etbinr
very different It means taktng a nan
N the afternoon. so her ewes vii he
bright at night, and then starting et
&eout o'clock 10 dress, and Law her
alS9ands clean things out on the bed.
50 -o.eS ~ she even enjoys getting
ms oath towels ready, and putting his
SHAVING things where he a Law his
hahuS on EN-, n telling the girl to
nave dinner ready promptly at $40
II means getting u her good
orsss that hangs In the closet with a
black satin coat, and her hat with tba
paradise ~atgrettes that she bought
WITH what she saved out Of the house
Keeping money. It means her best sill
stSShtnsss ana her diamond sunburst
tlat mes going to have made over INTO
q La VALERIE Just as soon as business
is better. She loves 1t all. and her
cheeks get ptnker and pinker. so that
enc really doesn't need the little dash ~
rouge that she puts on because eyerv-
nody does It, don't you know, She
gets ready, al but her dress, and then
she puts on a kimona and slips ont To
the kitchen to make the gravy for the
chicken because the girl never can oct
1t as smooth as he likes it. That's
part OF what she calls going to thea
Ter, and having a husband. And If
there are children-and for her sake
l nope there will be-she's father and
mother to them. She brings them IN
single-banded, while he's on the road |
ana the worst she can do is to saw
TO them, Just wait until your fatber |
gets home. He'll hear of this, Rnt
shucksl When he comes home he CANT
the kids for what hey did seven
weeks before and thai they've forsotten
ali about, and for what he never saw
and ant imagine. Besides. he wants
his comfort when he gets home &c
he wants a little rest and ,eaca
ana he's darned If he's going to run
around evenings. Not much. he isn't
But ne doesn't object to her making a
special effort to cook all those LITTLE
Things that he's been longing for on tba
road. Oh, there'l be a seat in heaven
Tor every travelling mans wife-though
at that, Ill bet most of 'em viii find
themselves stuck behind a post.-n
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1911-12-28

suppose. you have .
saia..i 40 not know-perhans 70 say
vonnn IN those days-but 1 was WAY
is sweat ny success when it first co Wy
70 Know that YOU cared anv INV was
rae .nan other friend. l dsd Ior
e Lie where o We're drtftine III not
you grew to hope fo ana 50,
q never thought of-then.n "has
so dies was l to know that Won
sew a :. ha from all the rest9of Were
world En salu !, bitterly; t rest of the
are d not generally so blind in "t thaen
nna.eers. What does a man NOSE
mean when he follows a 1van, usually
q ,apdog? You let me wait on luxe
whera sou movers, escort you everv.
paradise. avn me to go on in a fooi's
Grown into my life and wounS a
sen round my heart until Iifa your-
u you seemed impossible iii VIII
naes haunted me day and night ana your
WI was dedicated to you and r
way hat hat 'o no,, me ! your calm sweet
except as a friend, that you jntarms
70 devote your life to art. and thattoed
ttan YOU'D ever take its place SaanVV
t snae are you women made of" he c
hhtnnuuea. passion getting the masteru -
inc th g. iast, you have no more feel.
OF -, eaS SldlueS you tho,1ub<
90 rrusn o. no more Idea of the mr.
gasory you send a man to han tPPo y
S dsv docks Of marble to which von
Sybil Delaunay shiyere7 . ,i++,
% iigure lost Its naughty alertness .@
II hoped you had forgottene 81.
said TREMENDOUSLY. shs
He laughed bitterly.
j. sn Dsa you come out mere, rrren p. a,a
as e trying to keep her voice stea she
= l neard you had left New York, but n.y.
reg haS
Yes. I LETT New York. pava !,
and came here, as fam W. my
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1911-12-28
Nooy!lenIRzfIEdlzf5jaHt5d|
] GgY 5EHIKEusIaTUp6z-n

May l have the pleasure of a
dancer"
The girl addressed turned sharply
away from the ground of black coated
endeavoring to divide her favors i'm
partially.
"Mr. MAXWELL" she exclaimed. the
color leaving her cheeks.
The mar smiled.
you had not forgotten me. them"
he said. taking her much defaced pro-
gram. Which may I have, tfler. are
not many left to choose from"
1.-THE tenth, thirteenth and fifteenth
are still unappropriated; you may have
any OF them"
"Or all would be better still. 1t is a
long time since I have seer you. and
many things must have happened since.
BE generous, and for the sake IF old
times let me have all three"
ut is against my principles. but still
you say-it is a long time since we
met. soft you really wish 1t. you may
have them
Thank you" he said, and scrubbed
his initials against the d9nees.
The strains Of a dreamy waltz wore
filing the big ball room when CIV
Maxwell came to claim his partner. It
was the beginning of the winter season
IN southern California, n the Hotel
del Coronado was filed to overflow
Ing with guests escaping from the cold
eastern winter. The dance was merely
the ordinary Saturday evening one. but
the huge ball room, with its brilliant
lights and floral decorations, had the
appearance of some large function.
handsome women with gorgeous New
tork ana Parls gowns strolled through
the beautiful rooms. Bellies from Wash
ngton ana Baltimore vied with Caii- |
fornla girls from the sleepy little town
across the bay, while outside the deem.
numerous boom of the Pacific. whose
rolled up almost to the paneled
OF the ball ROOM, mingled with the
wall Of the violins.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1911-12-28
BURNING ITCH WAS CURED

I deem 1t my duty to tell about a
care that The C~uticura Soap and oint.
Aient have made on myself. My trou.
bIe began In splotches breaking out
Eight In the edge of my hair on Tia
brehead, and spread over the front
art of the top of my head from ear to
pr. arid oveg my ears which caused a
tost fearful burning itch, or eczema,
For three gears / had this terrible
-reaktng out IN my forehead and
scalps I tried our family doctor and
ne failed TO cure it. Then / tried the
Dutfcara Soap and Ointment and used
fnem Tor two months with the result
Hf a complete cure. Cuticura Soap
and Ointment should have the credit
due. and 4 have advised a let of peo
Ole 10 III them" (signed) c. d.
aharraRstcn. Creek, N. c., Jan. &c. 1911.
Itching ScaIp-Hair Fell Out.
Il win sag that / have been suffer.
snS with an itching on my scalp for
me cast few years. My hair fell out
IN sDota all yer my head. MY SCALP
NsEsed to trouble me with sores. then
ne sores healed up, and crusts
0rnIed on the top. Then the hair fell
Ft and lett me three bald spots the
lnaps q a half dollar. / went to more
g one doctor. but could not get any
keilef. 20 ! started to use the C%uticura
ktemedies- Z tried one bar Of C%uticura
10aD ana some Cuticura Ointment.
end fslt relieved right away. Now tha
os.d spots have disappeared. and my
aair ha1 grown, thanks to the Cnti.
ezra Soap and Ointment. / hiphlv
e~ecosnnnead the Cuticura Remedies to
~ that are suffering With scalp iron.
NJ" lSsgned1 Samuel Stern. ,sss
lloyd 81. Brooklyn. N. r. Feh :
III. Although cuticura Soap and
0tntneat are sold by druggists and
aeaiers~s everywhere. a sample of aseh
18th 31+psEe book. will be ma,saa
erce On application to .cnticnra =
Dept ? <. Boston.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1911-12-28

as l could get, my n desire lbefng to
escape from anything and e~vervtbins
ina reminded me OF you"
1ou live here then?"
Near herein the mountain+L hays
a ranch navy
Again a dead silence. He gazed al
the scene before him not trusting I'd
look at her face. She did not Know
mat ms hands were clenched until thu
nalis cut into the flesh to keep him,
sell from Selling her in his arms and
nololns her forever. He did not seq
tnat her eyes were full of tears or notica
cue trembling of her slight figure.
iou are happy noW-you have for
gotten" she almost Whispered,
l thought so until tonight. But when
l saw you I knew hat 1t was hopeless,
ina al the flight, the striving to keep
oack the memories and put you out OF
my LIE We're in vain. You are and al
Ways VIII be the one m In the
world Tor me. I ann a foo to tell YOU,
l suppose, but what does it matter? /
wa a ZOO all through, a blind fool.
ana L nave no one but myself to blame.
Don't let 1T worry YOU. 1 have managed
TO go on, and | have not shot myself,
to drink, nor any of the hun
9leu ana one things thai a mar can
40 to try to help himself to forget.
Don't you think" she said, a new
tone In her voice. and speaking very
slowly n softly, ''that-ff you had
waited a lttle-had not been in such a
hurry to get away-it might have been
better-women do not always know
thelr W minds, you know
her voice was SO low that he had to-
bend down to hear, and Their he saw
her face and a new light flashed into
his own.
He put his hands on her shoulders
n turning her around, forced her to
meet his eyes.
DO you mean it-Sybil-oh. my dar-
ing, don't mislead me again: don't say
1t out of pity-or'-
For answer she leaned forward and
Kissed him on the forehead.
stun he held her away from him and
continued In the same eager. passion
ate voice:
You know what you are doing-you
VIII come to me. live as a rancher's
Wife in the mountains, give up society
n your work that was so much to
your"
He waited breathlessly for her an
swer.
She raised her head and through her
tears h whispered:
For better or for worse. for richer.
for poorer, In sickness and in health I'M
TIL
She got no further. for his arms wers
round her n her face was hide Ca
his shoulder.
The band still played and the dancsrs
whirled as they had done half an hour
ago. Miss Delaunay's discarded part
ners searched a~nxiously for her, and
nnaliy and very wisely gave up the
search and consoled themselves with
less evasfve attractions; the moon still
shone brightly as ever and tho waves
rolled up and broke with their steady.
monotonous sound. but for two people
standing at the window the world had
changed.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1911-12-28
Government.

a government is an organization tina.
q build warships, but not, peace shiy.s
Inat can distribute mail, bu not ex
press matter.
That can run navy yards. but no
stock yards.
That a build canals but not raiis
ways.
That an give away valuable rights
but get them back,
That can make profits for others. Blu,
not. for itself.