The San Mateo item. (San Mateo City, Putnam County, Fla) 189?-19??, 1911-06-17


lost 4 dime or found a dollar, II It
ralncd or II there was long dry
SPELL Wind Blow east or wind blow
west He could hold his own with
circus hoss. and make sailors par
rot hang ltn head IN shame.
The squire was rather proud Of his
accomplishment. until he began court.
lng the Widow Lindsey. Then he came
to wish that his prowess ran aleng
different lines.
Look here. sQuire-you say you
love met"
Yes. by began Squire Skaggs.
Tut. TUT" checked Widow Lindsey.
III you will so 30 days without one
word Of profanity, III marry you; II
not, won't"
Then the squire began the great bat
tie. The FIRST day he spent conjuring
up and iotting down long list OF
words and explosives 10 be used for
substitutes for his own blue-hame, sui
pburous vocabulary The list began
with "Abou Ben Adhem." and ended
with Yum, and he put It into prac-
tice next morning when the gray
mule, old Mol. stepped upon his foot
Great Abou Ben Adheml What in
the name Of zoroaster is the matter
with you: by zum?" And old Mol
gazed ct him reproachfully.
The squire held manfully to his lit
tie manual Of polite expletive, daily
reporting progress to the widow. He
found that for trivial provocation,
such as receiving a dun from the
Weekly Foghorn or stumbling his
toe. the manual did fairly well, but
that for really trying situations, such
as chasing his hat in the mud, s'By
vum!" and "Oh, Caesareal" were
wholly inadequate. The widow CEN
sored the manual and cut out such
transparent substitutes as "Rotter-
DAM" and Amsterdam" on her own
account
Toward the end OF the month OF \
probation the squire took the widow
behind old Mol to the Foot Washing
Baptists' camp meeting at Hickory
grove. The squire had fiawless rec
ord. and both were in fine spirits over
the prospect Of speedy union. While
At the meeting. however, II set in to
rain. and by the time they reached
Wolf creek on the return journey II.
was tremendously high. When ex-
actly in the middle OF the stream old
Mol baked. The squire dashed and
coaxed ner, then rallied at her In the
revised near-swearing. but she planted
her fore feet more firmly. The buck |
board was awaBh and floating danger
ously. Great logs and rails were bump |
Ing downstream. The widow fretted |
The squire grew desperate.
Widow" he announced, III you will |
crawl back In the hind end OF the wag-
on and stick your fingers In your ears
good. and tight, maybe can reason
with this perverse creature"
The widow hesitated, but the dan
ger wae great and she went
Got EN- stopped good and tight7"
asked Squire Skaggs.
The widow did not answer, SO that
The squire drew his own conclusions
and sailed In. He began with the Al
pha Of his own original, blue-hame,
code. and went straight
through to Omega, emitting nothing.
At the first familiar expletive old Mol
perked up her ears. In half minute
'he was looking back with approval.
Before Squire skaggs had half I'm
shed old Mol clicked her heels to
yether and hauled the blackboard
nigh upon the bank.
When the widow climbed back upon
he seat, Squire skaggs hung his head
u one who has stolen a baby sheep.
de could only utter brokeniy:
Il guess I've spoiled my probation.
widow. had 10 talk right positive to
hat mule"