davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
THE LA TOILETTE BooMLET.

L
1t is to laugh, when you read of
Charles o. Whedon and other disgrun-
tied down.and-out perennial political
officeseekers getting together at Lin
coin and forming league to deliver
the republican party of Nebraska,
bound and gagged, into the arms of
Senator La Toilette of Wisconsin, who
says he doesn't want it.
The statement of Mr.. Whedon, who
was decisively beaten by the repub'
lican party of Nebraska last year in
his attempt to pluck senatorial toga,
that President Taft has shot the re-
publican party full of holes" ought to
be run in the funny column instead Of
in the news columns of the newspa.
pers. Considering the source, this
statement sparkles with humor.
If any attempts have been made to
shoot holes into the republican party,
1t is notorious that the little band of
shouting insurgents" such as met at
Lincoln 10 uehOuuSS INC piesluSL .
has been pulling the trigger. They
have kept up constant popgun bonn.
bardment for the past three years, ap-
parently in the hope of so reducing
the party majority in congress as to
hold the balance of power and thus
dictate legislation, or else hoping that
before they died their iconoclasting
and populistic attacks might bring
them into public office at the hands of
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Senator Beveridge in his travels
around the world to see how other
countries do things, has recently Wis.
tied our Canadian neighbors and tells
in the Saturday Evening Post of their
method of gaining settlers and the SUI.
perior class of citizens they secure.
1t is hand picked" and as a result it
is better, more promising, brings more
capital and will be more easily assim.
Hated than the emigrants that have
come to the United States during the
last fifty years. The most recent and
in some ways the most interesting, in,
fiux of immigrants to the Dominion
is that from Scotland and England, not
of the poorer classes, but of the larger
land owners whose estates in the older
countries have been broken up and
forced into the market in small hold
ings by the newer forms of taxation
Whether they will remain in Canada
permanently in the new country or
only invest their money, remains to
be seen. In either case it means much
to Canada.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

One of the greatest, if not the great
est fault of the American people, is
their inability to wait until they can
afford Injuries before purchasing
them. Nothing but reform of the
habit will save from penury and want
and a chronic state of pessimism
which often serves to turn what might
be a world of happiness into one of
dark despair.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Rarely has a movement capable OF
such beneficial results for the Amer
ican boy, both morally and physically
been inaugurated with such promise
of success as the boy scout movement
The thing most needed by the average
boy of today is, morally, a spirit OF
obedience to proper authority, and a
wideawake interest in some worthy
activity and physically outdoor exer'
else and the cultivation Of rugged har-
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
WAsHINGTON'S ANCESTRY.
ST. Louis Preacher Traces II Back to
William the Conqueror.

George Washington was directly de-
scended from William the Conqueror
Tracing George Washington's ancestry
in motorcar about England, James
w. Lee, pastor of st. Johns Southern
Methods. church, st. Louis. has col
lected data about the great American
which he declares are not IN the pos
session of any historian.
DR.. Lee says he cannot Disclose the
facts he has Mt this time but he has
established the ancestry Of George
Washington back TO William the Con-
queror. DR.. Lee spcnt sume time
searching the old Norman fortress at
Pevensey, the first castle Of William
the Couqueror. From this castle he
traced the ancestry of the first Amer
lean president. His facts, the clergy
man SAWS, are absolutely new and au-
thentic.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
A Puzzle For Willy

The new school superintendent was
chock full of new pedagogy.
Never ask leading questions when
examining your pupils" he command
ed his teachers. "Do not hit at the an
swers. Make the learner find them
unassisted."
This is how the young lady teaching
Greek history obeyed:
willie, who dragged whom how
many times around the walls OF
what ?'-EVerybody's.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Mr.. Roosevelt says that arbitration
might not result in peace with right
eousness." Yet if he felt that he had
not got righteous judgment in law
suit, he would probably not set out
to lick the defendant.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

The contract for the building of the
first 1856 miles of the Hudson Bay rail
road was let by the Canadian govern
ment last month. What a revolution
the advent of rapid transportation will
bring to this isolated region.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

1t used to be enough to advertise
that horse was Sound, kind and
warranted not to kick" but now you
must show that he won't shy when
an aeroplane alights in the next field.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

delight, and though tagged out and
worn at night, l trotted blithely out
OF doors and gaily did a million chores
If all employers only knew how much
word of praise will do, the sullen
workmen that we see would do their
little stunts with glee.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
Ostrich Theory Proved.

The ostrich farm near Hamburg is
proving, so it is said. Hagenbeck's the
DRY that ostriches, though at home in
tropical or hot cour',4as, would thrive
in colder localities and as q result be
stronger in health and grow o heavier
coat of feathers.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

So far as can be found out by out
siders" there is no reasonable expla-
nation of the continued advance in the
price of sugar. In fact, no one is Of
fering any kind of explanation. The
ultimate consumer is asking lot of
questions, however.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

An Ohio policeman was put in jail
for abusing his horse, and when later
he abused his wife he was simply put
under bonds.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

dihood. These two are combined in
the boy scout movement and it should
be encouraged instead of meeting with
the foolish criticism that it is a device
of military men to train up the boys
to lust for war and promote militar.
ism.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

amateur to begin with, and al vari.
cites unknown, most OF us regard the
mushroom fad in the light that you
should not 20 into the water unit
you have learned to swim.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

The scientists are telling the people
of England that their supply of coal
will be used up in 175 years. There
are folks nearer home who realize that
when they look into their empty coal
bins, that theirs is already gone.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

That stolen picture of Mona Lisa
has been given much prominence late
". So much so that enterprising pub
fishing houses are printing thousands
of copies of the picture supposedly
worth $5,OOO,O0O and offering them for
sale at a few cents each.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

A Brooklyn magistrate says that
anything that grows on vine is
fruit You can't persuade the small
boy to eXcavate the potato vine by
making him believe it's fruit tree.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

A Tacoma man 70 years old wants
to guide President Taft to the summit
Of Mount Rainier. The tempter! He
ought to take La Toilette up to the
top of that high mountain.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Speaking of that game, however, if
we had had the slightest suspicion that
there was any danger of the Amer
lean championship going across the
ocean, our address this week would
have been Rye, n. Y. Just case of
getting careless and thinking the
bunch on hand could take care of the
stars and stripes. Now why in thun-
der didn't they send out an S. o. S.
call?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Public opinion is the great means OF
accomplishing good in a community.
If man does not behave himself, pub
lie opinion can soon whip him into
line. That man does not live who is
not afraid of public opinion.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Secretary Wilson of the department
of agriculture points with pardonable
pride to the record of the crops pro-
duced in this country in the past four
teen years since he has been in charge
of that branch of affairs.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

The center of population has been
moved from rattlesnake den near
Bloomington, Ind, into the city linn
its. We hope it is carefully conserved
and safeguarded.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

a panic.stricken people.
Nebraska will be found in line for
President Taft, whose integrity of
purpose and wise craftsmanship is be.
coming more and more appreciated
every day Nebraska will not be for
La Toilette, La Toilette league to the
contrary Notwithstanding.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
Now Weak Hitter.

The veteran Bobby Wallace OF the
St Louis Americans appears to be no
longer the terror at bat as In forS.er
days, but his fielding is as brilliant as
ever.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

People do not seem to understand
the Importance of honesty. To be
sure, good conduct is taught, in way,
but too many mistakenly think such
teaching perfunctory duty, and that
there are many pleasures in a reck-
less, careless life.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
Norfolk Famous for Golf.

Fremont Tribune: There may be
the scheme to convince that northwest
Nebraska is getting real genteel in
Norfolk's apparent ambition to become
famous for golf.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

The last toes of summer are still to
be seen in Norfolk, but they'll be COW
cred with shoes and stockings when
that self-same frost arrives.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

The finder OF an article OF value
should advertise his find. Perhaps the
losers anxiety to recover his property
will lead him to auverUise-but, the
finders anxiety 10 restore It should
lead him to advertise, also.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
jackson, eoston,s Now outfsId.r.

The Boston Nationals new outtelder,
George Jackson, unlike his famous
cousin Joe Of the Maps, is a right hand
batter.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

One Norfolk man never wears a
on the train. Meet him with derby
hat on his head and it's safe to ask
him how long he'll be gone.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
ED HoWE's PHILOSOPHY.

Give the devil his due" is an old
saying, l don't know about that; give
the devil his due, and he would soon
have too much.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Beef is almost as high as on that
historical occasion when the COW
jumped over the moon.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

st. Louis proposes to have a Some
thing Should BE Done Society" Most
cities need one.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Wouldn't it make you sore to live
to be nearly one score year and ten,
and then get rheumatism in the left
shoulder?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

1t Is hoped that the baby that was
locked in a valise will not suffer from
the grip.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Being sunburned on the golf course
is some serious locality to be burnt in,
too, If you want to know it
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

After you've got up at a. m. three
mornings in succession, you begin to
feel like a chicken.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

The life of an aviator was saved by
o haystack upon which he fell. What
this country needs is more haystacks
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Slim figures are the style this year,
but that doesn't refer to the figures in
the bill for the attire.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Just as we reminded you last sum-
mer that it was then the proper time
to have the furnace fixed.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

By rights, this is the psychological
moment to have the old Panama re
blocked, ready for use next spring.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

A man may look around a montl
before ordering a suit but when he fin
ally orders it, he wants it next day.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
AROUND TOWN.

This much, at least. is settled: 1t
takes thirteen days to get through
pealing Off after you've been sunburn-
ed on the golf course for three hours.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

When man owns a building that
won't rent, he never blames the build
ing; he says the old town is dead.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

P. H. S. sure does have the luck.
He got the Braden cup and had insur-
ance on his car when it left the barn.
Now there's some class to that kind of
fate.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Let new automobile come to town
and every man of IS years or less, will
know every detail about that car with
in three days.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

The proudest thing in this world is
real negro minstrel when he appears
in the street parade.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

1t seews awful good to see jim
Jackson around here once more.
Since he's got to be feature writer
sort of tremble every time he picks
up copy of The News for fear he'll
see some flaw in it. But if he's seen
'em, he's been good enough not to say
so, which is some consolation.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Occasionally every woman rubs it
in on her husband by telling how hard
she has to work.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

States rights" States rights"
Wasn't there something like that away
back in 1860, that caused little I'M
friendliness between different portions
of the L. S. A.?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

About all that's left of summer is
the hay fever.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

1t may be indicate to say so, but it
is nevertheless fact that bald head
doesn't look very well in society.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Many man is compelled to stand
punishment who never fought prize
fight.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Wonder If Col Roosevelt still re-
ceives q dollar word?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

l can stand an ordinary school teach
er pretty well; but a real professor
scares me.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Mike Harrington is for harmony,
understand-not Hartman.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

AS we skid to press, we're on the
way to get ours insured.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

There are seventeen or eighteen
marrying stories on a man before one
of them is true.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

If you have a thing you don't want,
don't spend lifetime in getting rid of
it.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

If American sharpers could talk the
language, what a harvest the old coun.
tries would afford.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

If you want to humiliate a man, a
good way is to start a story that his
wife whips him.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

We see by the paper that that Page
horsethief has been brought to book.
He wasn't even bound over. He's
been number ed. Now he ought to turn
over a new leaf.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

When l deserve it, l don't mind
abuse; it makes me careful. But /
seldom agree with my critics as to
when | deserve abuse.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Tell man what he should do, and
he won't do it, to show that he is in.
dependent.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

A boy would rather be rained on at
q picnic than not have chance to go
because the weather is threatening.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Telephones Editorial Department
No. %. Business Office and Job Rooms,
No. II 20.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

We're much obliged to Taft for an.
nouncing that Wiley decision in time
for our noon edition. Seems like the
whole darn world has been doing
things for the morning papers the last
two months. It's about time some.
thing happened before II o'clock NJ.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

man is for a man to shoot her because
he loves her.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

The old fellows won't attend parties,
but they like to be invited.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

And a little frost would nip that.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

The greatest possible joke on a wo,
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Don't you usually feel oppression
because of lot of little things you
have neglected, but which might have
been easily disposed of?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

You may be busy, but if you have
time to tell your troubles, you are not
busy enough.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Haven't you known plenty of men
who were just on the verge of being
bandits?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Most people wait until it is too late
before being careful.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Look over the books in your library.
Seven-tenths of them are worthless.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Entered at the postofiice at Norfolk,
Neb.. as second class matter.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

I'll bet you are tired of hearing OF
the goodness of George Washington.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Some days a man is so worthless
that he is in his own way.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

A man often tells me about his
friend, and says: "He is famous;
everybody knows him." when | never
heard of him.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
Ths Norfolk Weekly News Journal

The News, Established 1881.
The Journal Established 1877.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

If you want to please people, let
them fool you when they plainly want
to.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

SympatnlZe WITH wise boys OF tnat
brand; | most admire the sport who
keeps the larder grooming meath its
heaps of fodder, raw and canned. Foul
fall the sage who makes his wife drag
out dark and bitter life, who lets her
do the chores, while he leans on the
village pump and keeps his jawbones
on the jump until the welkin roars.
ED HoWE's PHILOSOPHY.
Give the devil his due" is an old
saying. / don't know about that; give
the devil his due, and he would soon
have too much.
People do not seem to understand
the importance of honesty. To be
sure, good conduct is taught, in a way,
but too many mistakenly think such
teaching perfunctory duty, and that
there are many pleasures in a reck-
less, careless life.
A man may look around a month
before ordering a suit but when he fin.
ally orders it, he wants it next day.
Public opinion is the great means OF
accomplishing good in a community.
If man does not behave himself, pub
lie opinion can soon whip him into
line. That man does not live who is
not afraid of public opinion.
] can stand an ordinary school teach
er pretty well; but real professor
scares me.
Tell man what he should do, and
he won't do it, to show that he is in.
dependent
When l deserve it, l don't mind
abuse; it makes me careful. But /
seldom agree with my critics as to
when l deserve abuse.
You may be busy, but if you have
time to tell your troubles, you are not
busy enough.
Some days a man is so worthless
that he is in his own way.
The only way TO accumulate money
is to be honest and trustworthy. The
man who doesn't know this is danger
GUS; he is fool, and liable to become
thief.
Every humorous American should
write a joke book, and offer it for sale
through the book stores, instead of
peddling his jokes around among busy
people.
If you want to please people, let
them fool you when they plainly want
to.
A man often tells me about his
friend, and says: HE is famous
everybody knows him." when I never
heard of him.
I'll bet you are tired of hearing OF
the goodness of George Washington.
Most people wait until it is too late
before being careful.
Don't you usually feel oppression
because of lot of little things you
have neglected, but which might have
been easily disposed of?
Haven't you known plenty of men
who were just on the verge of being
bandits?
Look over the books in your library
Seven-tenths of them are worthless.
If American sharpers could talk the
language, what harvest the old coun
tries would afford.
There are seventeen or eighteen
marrying stories on a man before one
of them is true.
If you want to humiliate a man, q
good way is to start a story that his
wife whips him.
1t may be indicate to say so, but II
is nevertheless fact that a bald head
doesn't look very we'll in society.
A bow would rather be rained on al
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

The only way TO accumulate money
is to be honest and trustworthy. The
man who doesn't know this is danger
GUS; he is fool, and liable to become
a thief
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

THE HUse PUBLISHING COMPANY
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Every Friday. BY mail per year. $3.50
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

Every humorous American should
write joke book, and offer it for sale
through the book stores, instead of
peddling his jokes around among busy
people.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22

w. N. Huse N. A. Huse,
President. Secretary
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1911-07-19
Lost Art Of Letter WRITING.

1t is well known fact that nobody
writes letters nowadays. 1t is true we
spend a vast deal of time at our writ
ing table, that we consume untold
quantities of ink and nibs, while our
stationery bill is by no means the
most modest item of our ever-increas-
ing expenditure. But we neither
write nor receive letters. The utmost
we do is to dash off notes" in an
swer to invitations, to "scribble few
lines Of congratulation or sympathy,
as the case may be, with friend; to
express briefly but forcibly our salts
faction with our dressmaker, or our
surprise at our milliner's account. AS
for our absent relations, on the rare
occasions when we remember their ex-
istence at all, we send them our love
on a post card with few details
about the weather, ending in tearing
haste" with the hope that they will
write soon and tell us all their news.
OF course, they never do, which is just
as well, as if they did we should in
all probability never have time to
wade through their letters.-LTncon-
nue., in Ladies' Field.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1911-07-19
Saved by a Dream.

A farmer living at Lapford, Eng
land. dreamed thrice in succession
that he saw pit dug in one OF his
fields and some of his property cast
into it. At the third time of dream
ing he got up, dressed and went out.
He heard the thud of a spade and
caught sight of man digging by Ian
tern light. The digger fled at his ap-
proach. 1t was a grave upon which
he had been at work. By its brink
lay huge knife. On his way back
the farmer met one of his maidserv-
ants. She had had quarrel with the
man to whom she had been engaged,
she said, but he had prevailed upon
her to meet him for the last time at
2 O'Clock that morning. when he had
to show her. This is
what he had to show YOU said the
farmer, leading her to the grave
London Taller.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1911-07-19
Gets Away With the Cash.

Last Saturday porter employed at
the Depot hotel made away with a
months wages belonging to two Of
the lady employees. The girls who lost
their wages are Polish girls and this
fellow could speak their language and
in this way gained their confidence.
Saturday all the employees received
their checks for a months work from
the system, so the two Polish girls, un-
allowed this culprit to take
their checks up to one of the local
banks to get them cashed. He got
their checks all right. but the girls
have failed to see either him or the
money since. Manager c. J. Carney,
of the Depot hotel, notified the officers
along the line and gave description
of the fellow and he may perhaps be
prehended.-Manilla Times.