Omaha daily bee., 1911-07-09
HOT TALK FROM HER DAD
Hands Package of Advice to Person
Who Asked for Daughters
Hand.

DO you want to marry my daughter, Ell r.
Grimes asked. regarding the young man
before him with disfavor. You are a
candidate for responsible position as my
son-in-law. hey? Well. I can't say that
I'm favorably impressed, l have been
aware for some time that you were paying
attention TO Mary and I have studied you
closely, and you don't appeal to me worth
a cent"
why, Mr.. Grimes. I have no bad hab-
It's
mo bad habitsl And only last evening
heard YOU speaking Of the varsity nine (!
A man who uses such word as varsity
can't have any daughter Of mine while
have a shotgun in the house. What's the
matter with the good old American word.
university When hear a young man
say varsity always feel that he uses
taloum powder and wintergreen chewing
gum on the sly
1T viii be no trouble to quit using q
work you dislike. but It seems to me your
reason for rejecting me Is a queer ONE
Its only one OF many reasons. young
man. As said. have observed you mar
rowly and / am not at all pleased. I
shall never give my consent to the mar
Rage OF my daughter with a youth who
wear yellow shoes and look like blamed
pelican? Black shoes cost no more than
yellow ones. and man with black shoes
| on his feet doesn't look like Fourth OF
July celebration
II hate to see a young man try to make
himself conspicuous. and there's nothing
that attracts more unfavorable attention
than yellow shoes.
You come to my house with such foot
wear and then add insult to injury by
wearing little patches Of whiskers In front
OF yeur ears. II there's anything dstest
it's incipient side whiskers. II you must
wear whiskers. wear a mans kind OF
whiskers. Don't come to my house wearing
those little patches and expect me to con-
| sent 10 your marriage with my beautiful
and accomplished daughter
"Mr. Grimes, your objections seem frivo-
lous, II there is anything against my
ehatacter---"
! oh. hang your character! The young
man of1hese times thinks he must answer
every requirement II he doesn't smoke or
gamble or 80 to bed with HIS socks on. I
Judge mans character by the little
things-ths things which are overlooked
by zoo many parents. You may have your
pockets stuffed with testimonials showing
that you are a shining example OF virtue
| hut 7 can't feFGet the fact that YOU try %
sing tenor with . baritone voice. haven't
much faith In the discretion good sense
/ Of a young man who thinks he can sing
tenor when he can't never was SO
shocked al when yod stood up at the
piano the other night and tried to join in
the chorus OF Every Little Movement
with a voice that needed oiling the worst
way, don't believe my daughter ever
could be happy with husband who would
! try 70 sing tenor when he hasn't the equip.
msnt for H.
Recently, as you remember. had coca
! sion TO visit your room and l can't tel
you how deeply panied was when saw
copy Of African Game Trails by Roose-
welt, on your reading table. There Is
something wrong with any young man
whe viii waste his time reading such q
book. You have your way TO make in the
world, sir. How much do you expect "a
accomplish II you sit around reading such
Literature? What have African game trails
gOt 30 do with providing for a wife who
has been reared In the lap OF luxury The
right kind Of young man would be read
inG Thirty Years Of Wall Street or The
Rise OF ]. Pierpont Morgan in order 10
nj himself for the struggle with the world.
Co. young man, and reform your conduct
and prove yourself worthy OF my daugh-
ter. Come back In a year and weli take
up the matter then."-Chicago News