The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-13
Are Emotions Of Vegetable Origin ?
Is Declared On Good Authority That As Man Eats He Thnks-Egg Plant Arouses Ones Jealousy, Carrots Cause Quick Temper, String Beans Encourage Profanity Potatoes Lead to Laziness, While
 Spinah Increases Energy
Wv DOLLY DAtRYMPLR.

he no longer cares? 1t isn't really the poor fellows fault at all No doubt you have the romantic feeling that love as rennyson says, lis love forever more," when it isn't. The issues of our mines are made out of earthly substance of the food we eat. Yesterday 1t was beefsteak, today 1t is squab. We change to the very smallest atom, every seven years, and in that time the most con- stant cell has been succeeded by an- other, maybe refecting the image of an- other girl especially if he hasn't been thrown with the last one in that length of time"
 q couldn't have any confidence in a lieved that anything so closely akin to heaven and the angles, love and con stancy, could be based-on beefsteak and mutton chops"
 "They are all saying things like that nowadays" said Miss Caroline. T read recently an article written by one of the heads of the government depart ment of agriculture that set forth the most remarkable theories" What kind of theories?" asked the young bride.
 About emotions being of vegetable origin" said The Spinster, 'this author ity declares that egg plants engender jealousy, carrots are conducive to quick temper; string beans cause profanity; potatoes lead to laziness, while spinach encourages energy. They say a man who eats onions has a perpetual grouch, and that green peas, because they arouse the hirtatious instinct, lead straight to the divorce courts.''
 1 "All of which is a direct slam at veg etarianism," said Mrs. New-wed. and yet Minister Wu of the Chinese embas- 1 sy says that he expects to live to be 100 | years old by adhering to a strictly veg | e.able diet"
 "Pythagoras was vegetarian" The | Spinster said, "and his followers, the Es- senes and Brahmins, Cicero, Plutarch, | Alexander, Pope, Lord Bacon, Cyrus the Great and Shelley-were all followers of the cult eating vegetables and no meat" q think it is high time that house. wives take the matter in hand" sail Mrs. New-wed.
 
 a heavenly disposition, as the govern ment authority declares?' asked The | Spinster. And in the face of official warning let you forbid your husband to sit down indiscriminately to all the | spring vegetables, but turn him toward the particular garden truck that will make of him a household angela being that will go down in history as a bless | ing and an example?'
 1T don't believe anybody on earth can tell what effect certain vegetables will | have on mans heart declared Mrs. Newwed. q have recipe for stuffng | egg plant that would make any man fall in love with his wife and as for prunc. and Tom, who never touches a prune. has the sweetest disposition I have ever known any man to own. So l for one shan't trouble to remember any of the governments warnings"
 Its my opinon," declared The Spin ster, that the only effect that any sort | of vegetable has on the average man | is that any of them make him bad tenn pered if he sees particular one star | ing him in the face that he loathes, and | that if he has a bad temper naturally, nc vegetable under the sun can make him angelic"