davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-05-31

husband. the law partner and the
girl. Do you conveniently abduct
your husband? Do you seek seclusion
with the best man in the world"
leaving a corner to the moonlit We
randa and a chance to get acquainted
to your unmarried friend and the law
to your unmarried friend. and you
do IT.
You cajole and fiatter, you demand and
get the attention of the man whose
business 1t is to be on, good terms
with his partners new wife. The un-
married girl has no show. You are the
whole performance.
Social Dog in the Manger
You are one of the natrons who OBJ
jected to the inviting OF unmarried girls
to the married peoples dancing parties.
Yet the guests clause never barred out
the two or three bachelors who wanted
to come or had to be entertained for
business reasons" by your husband
Was your objection. to the unmarried
girl because she has no husband on
whom you could exercise your charms
II she seemed to be exerting hers for
your husbands benefit?
You are a social dog in the manser.
You believe in a boycott against the
girls. It's the quintessence Of selfish
ness. You can take the attention Of
the unmarried men because you have
your home and your, hospitality to ex-
tend For business reasons, they must
keep in favor with your husbands wife.
You are grabber, taking them; and
you are a leech. hanging on to the
married men. You ought to hear some
Of your old girl friends dish you up!
They see through you. They say things
that make my little comments look
pale and cool and dusty.
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
Doctor Is Safe

when a man dies is an inquest al
ways held?"
''Oh, no. If doctor has been in at
tendance the coroner is not supposed to
have to inquire into the cause of the
DEATH
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
Can You Beat 1t?

"Oh. yes" we have a wonderful cli-
mate" said the man from southern
Texas. why, only last season We
raised a pumpkin so large that, after
saving IL in two, my wife used the
halves as cradles in which to rock the
babies"
Yes" replied the man from New
York; but in my state it's common
thing to find three full-grown ponce
men asleep on one beat.'-Lippincott'
Magazine. .. ~
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
The Footprint Case;
Or, Some Detective

The great detective looked fxedly at
ms VISITOR and then, with a barely
audible sound. broke the deep silence.
"Well?" he said. 1t was a question
Great drops Of perspiration rolled
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
Some New Stuff
For Recreation
PLENTY OF PRACTICE

"Junkins, your wife is the most bril-
liant conversationalist know Of
We'll, she's had lots of practice. She
goes to theater box party two or
three times every week"
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
Hurt Some

First Thespian-So the audience
egged the leading man dangerously
before Joined the show?
Second Thespian-Oh. yes; you see,
these cold storage eggs didn't break
as easily as the other ones.
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
Hand and Foot

George hasn't been to see her since
he asked her father for her hand"
, Thought he wrote a letter.
He did, and carried it around, and
her pa handed it back with a footnote"
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
Office Seekers

Il think I'll send a ton Of coal to
every widow in the district. How is
that for a scheme?"
Purity fair. But what If the other
candidate sends coal to them as amt
widows as yet? They control the
votes"
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
Our Grocery Clerk
Saws, Best Wishes

1t was Juliet's birthday yesterday,
so I took the little oportunity to get
in wrong again. No. it's cinch she
didn't tell me herself. I saw q postal
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
Had To

There goes a man who reads Laura
Jean Libbey's press stuff every day"
''I shall go over and slap him on the
wrist"
Don't do it. The poor devil is
proofreader."
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
A Little Mirth
Drives Care Away
WHERE THE FIGHTING IS

War with Japan seems imminent.
These dreadful runors alarm me-
TOO bad" ts-
What would you DOR
well. I think would switoA maya
nnaG."
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
The World Is Round

Mrs Dart-My husband is just beg
ging me to take that trip around the
world, but ! can't.
Mrs. Upf1atte-Why not?
Mrs. Dart-I always get dizzy when I
travel in a circle.
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
Won't Hear of II

What. another of those things that
make you rattle when you walk! Mrs.
Peeved, 1 wonder at your nerve in
asking me for money to buy an idi-
otic contraption like that. I've stood
for a metal card case. a metal money
case and a metal memorandum book,
and now you're back for more. Not
If know II, petty; not If l know 1t.
II haven't much patience with the
women who announce their presence a
hundred yards on every side of them
with their jangling foolishness, and the
quicker you understand it the better.
You make as much noise as an automo-
bile already, and now you want to turn
yourself into a locomotive
But
Don't begin to but. The thing Is in
excusabl BILE. Every time I see a woman
The Washington times., 1911-05-31

that one Of her friends sent to the
store congratulating her.
q AS usual, had an Inspiration. 1
dropped in at the florists around the
corner, gave 'em an order for a big
bunch of roses, and told 'em I'd send
around after EN-. Then I went back
to the store, wrote out nice little
card with my label on it, and gave 1t
to the errand boy to have tackled on
the roses.
I ought to have known better than
to send that boy. What does he DO
but come back and present Juliet with
a century plant with my card on 1t.
Oh, you birthday greetings! And the
cold cashier wouldn't even let me ex-
plain.
The Washington times., 1911-05-31

when she wants to get with o the court ladies'
Wen say the Duchess Buckn ham has made her maest
sore by dun out of the royal sideways instead o back
wards So the calls for the detective
to md what the Duchess Bunham has
The court detective after compen his investigation
the duchess has just ordered thirty pairs pink silk ocn
One the Duchess
Fine" says her majesty. Have proclamation imme
datey announcn that there's anything the detes it's pl
silk sockns and that lady darin
this throne in pair Of m will invited stay for
So O the duchessl have the whole thirty pair
to her maid and let she's bought EN- And the
thing works the other way
Fr instance the took rings thumbs
all the court laded have that
sldered date and the
shop Rotten Row somewhere everybody anybody will
theirs the place. there
pickles all
So Belle, there's such thing original in
London You can't make hit by wearn the first
over there because the hasn't of
that played with the royal pack
off with the queen
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
Mr.. PEEVED PROTESTS

Have you three dollars to spare,
John?" asked Mrs. Peeved. as she
licked all the ,mucilage off a stamp
preparatory to putting it on a letter.
II want to buy something
What is tt?" demanded her hus-
band. Some fool thing. I'll bet"
Nothing Of the kind. It's one of
those little gun-metal powder hold
ers that all the club ladies are wear
ing"
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
NJ A ME TELLS BELLE
-... The Queen Sets '...
The Pace For
HOW THEY DO 1T IN LONDON

5N'T it exasp'ratin' Belle? Queen Mary objects
to hobbies and low tide gowns She must "a
known that was the way I'm havn' all my court
costooms made. The queen never did cotton
to me, Belle, somehow other; l think it's be-
cause made such hit at the royal lawn party
Oh we'll, I guess there's nothin' for me to do
but give up the coronation trip.
But I'm glad for the poor London society
women, they've got sensible queen, because the
way they run things over there, it's like American
kids playin' leader for dorsey; if they don't all
do just like the queen does they amt allowed to
play any more. It's quite handy for the queen
The Washington times., 1911-05-31
II All Depends

us a ton OF coal very much pa?
1T depends on whether you are
shoveling II or burning 1t.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1911-11-28
MANCHESTER DEPOT

Henry b. Kendall is on the sick list
s. b. Hawkins is raising the mar
bic walk in front of his residence.
Byron Hebert was taken to the re-
treat at Brattleboro this last week.
Station Agent George l.. McGriffin
has resumed his position at the depot.
Regular conyocation OF Adoniram
Chapter. No %, o T.. s., Tuesday eve
ming.
St Margaret's Guild will meet with
Mrs. w. w. Bennett Tuesday after
noon
Mr.. and Mrs. c. B. Carleton and
Mrs. John Carleton are visiting in
Brattleboro.
Mrs. NJ. l.. Manley who is in the
hospital in Burlington is expected
home this week.
Regular communication OF Adonir-
am lodge No. AZ. f. and A. NJ, on
Thursday evening.
The. young people enjoyed a dance
and cards in Odd Fellows hall last
Wednesday evening.
Mr. Hubbard of Troy, the nurse that
cared for Frank Bowen. visited Mrs.
James w. Bowen this last week
Mrs. A. B. Marsden and Mrs H. J.
Dyer attended the o. T. s district
meeting in Rutland last Wednesday
Misses Matte Griffith and Eva
Streeter OF East Dorset were guests
OF Miss Ruth Walker last Wednesday
Hugh Wilder while driving the
stage across the mountain last Friday
was taken with an acute attack OF ap-
pendicitis.
Saturday evening Zion church was
filed with friends of Miss Marion Di-
mond TO witness her marriage TO VII
liam +. Atkinson of Wallingford CT
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1911-11-28
NO VOTES WERE SOUGHT
Stephenson However is to be censur
ed for Spending Money

Washington, Nov. 26.-With a dec
laration that no instances of vote buy
ing we're discovered, but with words
of censure for the use of large sums
of money in his campaign. the Senate
committee which Investigated the cleo
ton of United States Senator Isaac
Stephenson is expected to report short
" after the opening OF congress.
Senator Stephenson according to q
we'll founded report here today viii
be declared fully entitled to his seat
The use of money in the Stephenson
campaign was the result of the Wis
consin primary system, it was claimed
in the hearings and condemnation OF
that system either in the committees
report or by members OF the commit
tee on the floor of the Senate is now
looked for
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1911-11-28
EAST ARLINGTON


c. +. Hard was in Bennington Thurs
day
Austin Seeley recently spent few
days in Troy
Mrs. l.. Campbell was in Hoosick
Falls part OF the day Thursday
Mrs. C. II. Mead who is visiting in
town spent Thursday with friends In
Troy.
Mr.. and Mrs. 2. Z. Deschenes have
commenced housekeeping In their new
residence.
]. B. Webb has returned from the
west where he has been spending the
past few months
]. IL. Powers OF Bennington was In
town Friday to attend the funeral of
his aunt, Mrs. George Sargood.
Mrs. r. d. Stone who has been
spending few months at the home
OF her son Guy In East Orange. N. ],
has returned home.
The funeral OF Mrs. George Sargood
was held from her late home Friday
afternoon. Besides her husband she
Is survived by two sons. George and
Eugene Sargood and two daughters.
Mrs. Thomas Bells and Mrs Eugene
Stone.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1911-11-28
CURe> CATARRH
Antlseptlc, Healing, Mentholatum
Quickly Kills catarrh
Germs

Catarrhal troubles can be cured
only by an antiseptic treatment that
kills both the catarrhal germs and
soothes and heals the irritated mu'
cous membrane.
Apply a little Mentholatum to the
nasal passages at night and while you
sleep the treatment does its healing
work and at the same time kills the
catarrhal germs. Its action Is almost
Immediate; the first nights treatment
gives you great relief.
You can buy 25 cent Jar OF Men
tholatum from any druggist with guar
antee OF money back II II does not 90
all that is claimed for II. This Is the
most economical treatment for cat
nrrh that was ever known as one
package will last two weeks or more.
Every home should have a jar OF
Mentholatum as II is invaluable for
all cases OF inflammation. soreness, ETC.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1911-11-28
MANCHESTER CENTER

Mrs. J. c. Roberts of Rutland is
guest OF her son, w. II. Roberts.
Services in Zion church on Thanks
giving day viii be held at 10 o'clock.
Mrs. Sarah ]. Bowen will spend
Thanksgiving with friends in Walling
ford
St Margaret's Guild will meet with
Mrs. W. w. Bennett Tuesday after
noon
Mrs. Percy Williams OF Rutland is
the guest of her mother Mrs Celia
Ames
Miss Sophia Beebe who spent Satur-
day at home returned to Wallingford
Sunday. D.
Mrs. Atkinson of Wallingford, Conn.
was in town to attend the Atkinson.
Dimond wedding.
Mrs Dimond of Wrentham, Mass,
was In town Saturday to attend the
wedding of her granddaughter
A number of young people accom-
panied the newly welded couple as
far as Bennington Saturday evening.
The Service club of the Baptist
church will hold their annual sale OF
fancy and useful articles on Tuesday
and Wednesday, December u and T.
in the vestry OF the church
James Smith, respected citizen
died at his home Wednesday morning
after brief illness. The funeral was
held from his late home Friday, Rev
Clark. pastor of the Baptist church of
fciating. The burial was in the
family lot in the Center cemetery.
On Wednesday afternoon a miscel
laneous shower was given by Mrs. II
NJ Shaw Mrs. w. II. Bamford and Mrs
Thomas Lidgerwood for Miss Marion
Elizabeth Dimond who was united il
marriage to William Ernest Atkinson
Saturday evening. Many useful pres
ents were given. About IS friends
were present Refreshments were SCI
we'd and all had delightful time.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1911-11-28
BUFFALO CORES zoo KEEPER
Animal Had Just Been Fed by En-
ploYe In Washington Park

Washington Nov. 27.-Gored by a
buffalo. James + Dean, a keeper at
the geological PARK here, is in a crit
ical condition at the Emergency hos
pital with compound fracture OF the
skull. Dean, who is one Of the Oldest
employees of the Zoo in point OF ser
vice. was attacked last night after he
had given the animal its dinner and
while he was cleaning its pen.
Prompt assistance OF ]. J. kreamer
a Waterman at the park, probably saw
ed Dean from being killed.
DR. Frank Baker, superintendent oil
the Zoo, said the attack was the first
of its kind since the park was estab
lisheu nineteen years ago
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1911-11-28
GOVERNORS BOMB A HOAX
Machine in Package Sent TO Tener
Could Not Have Hurt Him

Charleroi. Penn. Nov. 27-Powder
tests failed today to disclose anything
dangerous in the supposed bomb that
was mailed to Gov John X. Tener
from Philadelphia.
The contrivance contained nothing
more deadly than a chemical fertili-
ger in powder form and could not have
caused death unless taken internally
II is cheap compound, sold at drug
stores.
The postal authorities probably will
go no further with the case. The
package probably was sent by a crank
but the governor will never see the
contents. He saw only the crude
handwriting and after untying the out
side wrapper he became suspicious
and sent il back to the postoffice.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1911-11-28
SLICK FoReERs PLEAD GUILTY
Artist Who Raised Checks Still A.
Liberty.

New York. Nov. 2S.-William Schulz
tzburger. young Brooklyn cigar man
ufacturor. and lsador Weiss. who are
said by the police to be members OF
gang OF forgers who have obtained
more than 100000 from banking in.
situations all over the country In the
past Eve years, pleaded guilty to
charges OF forgery yesterday before
Judge Rosalsky In general sessions
and were remanded TO the Tombs until
December 10 for sentence. Charles
earliest, liquor dealer. who was ar
rested on the It'll with Schultzburger
and Weiss. IL now in the Tombs await
Ing trial. The forging OF the checks
was done by an experienced artist
with a camel's.hair brush. so clever
was II that even the bank officials
wero deceived. The artist forger has
not yet been found
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-25

Northwest are all occipied. in the
Mississippi delta alo.e only tiitee"
per cent Of the land is gleL Not
thirty per cent OF the laa4 IN tue
South Ia under cultivation.
When tie South does begip 10
grow ene-half Of the ma ion 60 +,
then viii the South furnisa ne two
great American crops, ana then, IN
deed, will the South be.ome not only
the agricultural center OF the :,
ion, but the money center.
1t is worth while, then. Ter SOP
of our universities to omit a few
of the lectures upon the style OF Vi
cero and the philosophy by Aristotle
and the talk about the things immed-
diately around us. corn, cotton, for
instance, as sources OF wealth, happi-
ness and health. Commercial APP
peal.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-25
WORTH KNOWING
Tic Electric Light.

Tie natgral refer ence is that we i'm
nc lately get a food OF light when
we turn tae electric switch WAle
sais is tue enough in a sense, many
things really happen before we gst
The light. And the Light is not instan-
;aneous at all, even if it does look so.
The first thing accomplished in
turning the switch is to close the cir
cult so that the eIecric current cah
flow readily through the wires. The
electrical energy rushes along the sur
face Of the insulated copper wires at
the terrific speed of 10000 mills a
second. If these wires were nor prop
erly insulated the electricity would
tend to leak OFF the wire 10 some other
good conductor at tle first opportun
ity. as it is seeking the shortest path
through it's Circuit. When this energy,
rushing at terrific pace, reaches the
electric lamp it passes readily
enough through the small iron and
platinum wires into the bulb where il
meets with its first resistance. In
its path stand tiny loops of fine
metallic wire which is not good con-
ductor of electricity. With all the
pressure behind it the electrical
energy tries to surfount this obstacle
in its path II pushes and forces it's
way through the obstruction and this
requires TREMENDOUS amount OF
work, just the same as it would re-
quMe a tremendous amount of work
for a man to climb the face Of cliff.
This work consumes the electrical
energy just as it would consume me-
chanical energy, or human energy
and the energy thus consumed is not
really consumed or deswoyed-for ma
ture never totally destroys anything,
but changes Il into heat
As the current forces its way
through the fine wire the electrical
energy is rapidly changed into heat
and this heat quickly brings the wire
to a white glow, when, by strange
coincidence, it is fairly good conduc
tor. While the light seems instantan.
eous ii is only because'it is TOO quick
for the eye. In realty the wire first
gets warm then hot, then duh cher.
ry red and finally this red fades, as i
gets hotter, TO a white hot glow
, which is maintained as long as the
current is turned on. The heat re.
2uItant from this process is rapidly
dissipated into the air
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-25
PunctuaIity In London.

There is plenty of rush and hurry In
business London, just as In America.
but the English ways seem to be much
more systematic and dignifed. The
man of business IS always attired with
care-pink necktie, channels gloves.
frock coat, spats-for business proce-
dure In England must be met with due
compliance to English ideas Of propri-
ETY..
Appointments must be made by writ
ten notes-not typewriter, midland
when the appointment is made 1t is TO
be kept to the dot l kept nine APP
pointments I'm one day and found every
man ready and waiting. When you
think that old London is slow just
wake up. They don't make much fuss
about things, but they just plan and
do what they set out to do,~Joe Mitch
ell Chapple in National Magazine.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-25
THE EGYPTIAN HUsTLERs.

The Egyptian Ffustlers' have
been holding a convocation at Me
tropolis, ILL.,. and the event seems 20
have been of great Importance in
that neck of the woods. Details as to
the object of the game are lacking,
but ii is meritorious no doubt.
Egypt" is a name which has been
pplied to Southern Illinois becuse OF
the agricultural productlveness o thai
region. In bibcal days people usel
to 60 down into Egypt to buy corn.
They are doing that same thing nova
days over in the Illinois Egypt" and
the supply is always equal TO the de-
mand, for the soil of Southern Illinois
is of surprising richness and grows
corn that as good as the best-"or
little bit better" Egypt" produces
other things besides corn and in re-
cent years it has become noted for its
coal mines. 1t has fine farms and
thriving cities and towns. 1t is a
pretty good example Of what hustling
may accomplish. II is full Of hustlere.
al OF them may not belong 10 The o.
ganisation which has been celebrat-
ing down at Metropolis, but they are
getting there all the same.
Egyptian Hustlers' sounds well
The inference is that the Egyptian
Hustlers" are hustling for Egypt"
Wherefore they are TO be commended
as being engaged IN a praiseworthy
enterprise. Everybody ought 10 stick
up for his own country and boost for
It's progress to the best of his ability.
The harvest is big and the laborers
are scarce and hustlng for Kentucky
does not consist OF sitting in the shade
and apostrophizing the grand old
Commonwealth" We have plenty OF
Kentuckins who delight in that sort
Of sentimental pastime, but it is NOT
getting us any thing. Talk is cheap
but it takes money TO buy Iand"--aud
it takes husthngs to raise corn and to
mine coal.-Courier-J
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-25
A HUNGRY PYTHON.
Tho First Course OF His Meat Got Him
Into Serious Trouble.

In my travels visited the jail Mt
Tia yet-Myo, In Burma, On the mora
linz az my Visit there had undoubtedly
been an unusual occurs nee. A python
twtnty-twu feet hong and twenty eight
inches in girth had 'entered tie vene
table garden and crossed it to the fowl
pen. Resides the fuw,s, there Wee
some five ducks IN the pca NOM. the
front Of the zen was fenced with din
mond mesh galvanized wire netting Of
Il strong type.
The Sual,e could not resist a FIT
duck. so, putting Its head and meek
through the stout diamond frame, it
seized and swallowed oue have no
DOUBT whatever that II would have
"mopped >up the bunch" inside the
house but that in adjusting No to
make room for No IL became aware
of an uensy feeling owing to the wire
around It's waist Neither have my
doubt that III addition to becoming
uneasy II became seriously alarmed
Being now unable either 10 dlsgQrce
or to get away, it tore eff the whole
section of netting, q feet ny =, and re-
turned with the necklace or waist
band through the cabhaues. Not TN
naturally. / thiak. the sentry, seeing
n by s foot wire section of fencing
marching through the cabbage patch
without any visible means of support,
gave the alarm and then opened fire
The prison guard rushed out and
also opened FIRE. and very shortly our
hero lay dead in his frame. He was
skinned and his skin cured and dress.
ed in the Jail. where they are noted
for this kind of work. Forest and
stream.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-25
a Bows Predicsment.

At q sugar mill on the island Of Bar
bados the men in attendance were
shortening sail when a native boy.
who did not let go soon enough, was
carried alofr by the great forty-dve
foot sail He fortunately had all his
wits about him and managed to get
his feet around a bar of the sail and
to hold on to the one above In this
position he was carried around, the
mill revolving with increased rapidity.
as the man whose duty it was TO feed
it had rushed out at the first alarm. A
cry was raised TO choke the rollers
with cane and thus stop the mill, aud
this was done at the imminent risk of
breaking some of the machinery and
So releasing the sails aItogcther but
after six complete revolutions the mill
was stopped. fairly choked by the bun
dies of cane thrust into its jaws, leay-
ing the sail. to which the boy still
chung, uppermost, and he ninety feet
from the ground. With marvellous
nerve be proceeded to climb down that
perilous ladder and reached the ground.
1t is estimated that he Travelled nearly
1900 feet in his aerial journey and
half that distance with lis head down
ward.