Evening star., 1911-07-30
THE MEDICAL SPECIALISTS


where their belt buckles were or ought 10
have been. 1t was sad stuff. waiting
there for three hours. listening TO the
groans: the man never had put in "A
drearier three hours. But be went through
with IL because he had been told that
this specialist would make a new man
of him tsomebody entirely different. new
name. new manner of life. new every
thingl before the magic words OF John
Robinson could be uttered by the rapidest
talker
Business of being paved. pounded.
kneaded mercilessly rubbed. thumped.
punched. solar plexused and shamefui.y
abused, a la the specialists well known
recipe once again. BY the time IL was
all over the gnawing felt like being inn
paled right in the middle on the snicker-
snee of a Moro out to kill Christian for
the reward of going direct TO the Mo-
hammedan heaven.
I'm said the Viennese specialist. Ole
could barely speak English. but they all
say Num as starter ''um being a
word that Is supposed TO denote pro,
found reflection, study. ponderment and
such HkeD I'm. l should zay-in vact.
10 bronounce-zat you haf-vat you call?
acid catarrah of ze stomach.
That didn't sound $40 terrible. Some OF
the general practitioners had diagnosed
1t as pzytrwtbczXzXzy. and still others
had unhesitatingly called It, right out
Of hand. rbtwpbljkzzztx. Acid catarrh OF
the stomach was the humanest thing the
man with the gnawing had heard for u
long time proceeding from the lips of
medical person.
Pretty bad, eh?" he said however
comma. a sort OF feeler-to get his
moneys worth. too-to the specialist.
''Pad?" the renowned sawed-off spe-
cialist's rosy face wreathed itself into
many smiles. iWhy Is 1t. by the way.
that all of these stomach specialists have
such insultingly rosy skins0 oh. nod
pad. Vat YOU call disagreeable for re
comfort Eat Is ell.
But the constant pain. man-how
about that the man with the gnawing.
becoming desperate over the constant be-
Hitting of his misery, groaned.
"Pain?" The little mans eyes rounded.
You haf no pain. 1t is nozzing. You
sink too much-zat is all Ze pain. IL you
haf any"-and he looked smilingly in
credulous as to that-will pass Vat you
must do is--eat often. Eat sixteen times
a day If you like-simple sings. of course;
but eat always. Eat is vat YOU need
nourishment. and frequent Ze nourish-
ment absorbs re acid. Here, / gif you a
prescription"
He scribbled something on pad. The
something. translated. meant merely
capsule composed of vaferian and bicar-
Donate of soda The man with the gnaW-
Ing was waited cut-another groaner was
coming in by another door at the time TO
be famed In the same old way-and be-
fore he made his getaway he deposited
large chunk of his earnings with the
ON -Us secretary
bursar or l-him-and trudged
dolefuly back to his hotel. where, again
removing the rattiy lid of his typewriter,
he proceeded to whack the keys some
more the gnawing still on the job. In
order to accumulate some more swag TO
enable h m later on to consult another
specialist.
OF course. he DID. later on. consult an
other specialist. And here the scene
shifts to Washington.
This specialist visited the man with the
gnawing at a house which the latter was
visit ng.
Let the reader insert in this place an
other full portion of the kneading. punch
ing. betting, pounding. hitting-in-the-
kitchenette stuff heretofore alluded TO.
The Washington specialist looked very
grave at the finish of the Queensbury per-
formance. Somehow, his face reminded
the man with the gnawing OF the faces OF
those solemn persons standing around the
deathbed of John Calvin In the famous
hideous engraving that used to be. for
some horribly inscrutable reason. placed
on the walls OF the bedrooms of young
children The Washington specialist SAID
right out of hand, that 1t was gastric
ulcer. He put the man with a gnawing
on a diet Of albumen tea and cracked Ice.
summoned a nurse without asking II one
were wanted and went away looking
grave. The man with the gnawing cancer.
ed the summons for the nurse, Cancelled
the order for the albumen tea. and had
an old black woman in the house, an old
friend of his fix him up large ana tasty
mess Of lamb stew; after enveloping
which, down TO the final flake OF rice al
the bottom of the bowl, he felt better and
got up and read the base ball news. and
then took the lid off his typewriter ana
did five or six hours of writing
The man with the gnawing will get
a-skeeart again after while and nave
another flock of stomach specialists
punch him around a whole lot. He ought
to know better, but he doesn't
II folks possessed of cravings knew
better and abided by their knowiedgo
there wouldn't be any special SITS. and
then the gnawed ones would have TO go
and dig up some new and more vapid wa
of spending their money.
CLARENCE l.. CULLEN.