The Newark journal., 1911-08-18
The Friendly Critic

When Jenks returned to the office after a visit to the tonsorial parlor he was in a happ- frame of mind. For two weeks he had been urged 10 get his hair cut. The entreaties finally took the form of a command and it really looked as though there might be per. sona1 damage if Jenks didn't acqaiesee and let the barber trim the mat down to reasonable proportions.
 They will go into ecstacies Of de light now, I dare say muttered Jenks. "Theve won The hair is cut and they can see for themselves
 "Jenks, your intentions were fine the head bookkeeper remarked but in the name of Mike, who is your barber"
 One of the best in town" Jenks replied He charges B cents for his haireats, and he has had world of experience.
 Why didn't he finish the job" the credit man asked
 He gave me a haircut. didn't he :" Jenks replied, doggedlY
 There is no doubt that he started something" the head bookkeeper broke in. Was he in hurry?"
 No, he wasn't in a hurry
 The haircut appears all right 10 me the credit mans stenographes interrupted. except that the sides don't balance
 Why don't they baIance29 Jenks asked
 @rbe right side=ts longer than the left side.
 The sides are all right" the head booRkeepef broke in
 Indeed . Jenks retorted. T was under the impression that one Of them was left
 T mean that the sides are even, the head Hoakkeeper returned They might appear to be uneven. but that's an optical illusion You kind 0 hang down on one side. anyway
 T note that tho barber shaved the back of your neck, he credit man said
 Is that what you call it2, the ste nographer asked T thought that he had shaved the back f#his head"
 aYoH know appreciate these crit cisms, Jenks said but gou have my permission to saw off at any time The haircut suits ne
 That's because you feel t. and don't see t.
 T can look at il if want to," ez claimed Jenks
 But don't do if. old man for the i peace of yaar mind don't do tt Think of us-we have to look at it''
 In New York, you know" the credit man resumed. "a first class barber never slaves mans neck unless he has a Kick in the chaiI and wants 10 entertain the other barhers. Why. any man who would walk down Broadway with his neck shaved would be arrested for melting a riot
 When the noon hour arrived, Jenks sneaked over 10 the barber shop and began a cross-examination
 What do you think of this hair cut?"
 A fine haircut the barber said
 "Is it cut eves 2"
 T belong 10 fhe union, you don't think I'd cut 1t uneven. do you?"
 Do yoa think you should have shaved that ncck2"
 Shaved your neck What did you want me to do-cut your hair and leave bunch of corn silks on the back of yeHr neck fer the cows t. plaf Hith2a
 T ne4zf= thoaebt Of that, bHt the gang over there says they don; shave 'om in Neu York
 @Hon't Wolry about the way they de things in New York Let me tell you something dhe barber grew condden tial and spoke in whispered tonesl the ginks around here that tell you about the way they do things in New York never saw New York except on the railroad map. They get their stele charts from De Soto Mo, For get 1t
 That's an example of the power of suggestion, the barber remarked. aft. CT Jenks had departed Them same guys, you know, make well-meaning citizens throw away new fye-dollar hats Ever have crowd of elm di. agnose boil on the back of your neck They'll have you thinking that the boils goin to break on the in- side and cause death by blood poi soning before you can telephone the police On the level, they do"
 
 A Dream of Days.