Omaha daily bee., 1911-07-22
THIS WAS THE BIGGEST FISH
Monster Cat In the Mi-sis-Ipni Car
ried Steamboat IN Nnd
Down the River.

"Yep. IL weighed i5ee's pounds. vas
IS feet and inches lone and as Dig
around the middle as the tower on the
courthouse" said Captain Joeb.
That's a mighty big sh. captain Joab'
a mighty big fish" remarked the grocer
as he fastened the patent screen on the
prune box.
II reckon Il were. reckon It we're
reflected the captain. There amt no f,sh
like that in the Mississippi nowadays"
mo, l reckon there Amt" shifted tho
grocer But, look here, eNp'n, how'd you
ketch that fish and how'd YOU carry him
when you had him ketched7''
Didn't say carried him and didn't say
/ ketched him." replied the captain, bel
ligerently. "Fellers hike you Is always
tryin' to pin n man down TO dee'tails"
But II you didn't ketch him how'd you
measure and weigh him7"
Never said l weighed and measured
him." srarled Captain Joab,
you was steamboatinG then, wasn't YOU,
cap'n?" aueried the grocer,
You know I was steamboatng."
81 spose. then, you ketched that fish
with a landin' stage and twotnoh rops'
Maybe you used a bent smokestack Tor
hook and balted It with n couple OF river
rats-seein that fish must have been
catfish"
Never done itl' exploded Cap ain Jcab
Didn't keteh that fish and didn't say
ketchcd him. Fact is, he ketehed me-
Steamboat and all7"
Steamboat and all" affirmed the cap
tain. I'VE cast off about shutdown and
started down the river on a June rise with
q full head OF steam. / don't s'pose we'd
hon
we brought up with a sort OF q soft, slidin
bump.
Nope seq the pilot, 1t can't be-
'snag? sex l.
mo chance at allv SEE he
but before I could argue the question
with him the old Jepthn X. Jimsoa b;gan
to travel up river with her paddles tn Nv n
white water and a stream of fire hRngin'
! to her stacks like the tail of a skyrocket.
There we was. headed down river on a
June rise with full head OF steam. but
instead of goin' down river we were boom
ing along up river fasteru'n any Of these
here newfangled ottym oblcs ever did travel
Pretty soon a streak of light went past,
J Memphis sex the pilot I reckon II amt.
SEE I; this Is Saint Louie Wrong side of
the river SEE he; ATS Quincy, Ilinoy.'
But just about that time the old Jeptha
| X. Jimson raised clear out of the water.
turned square around and started backing
down river.
1T was Sain' Louier seq the pilot.
Not bit of It., seq l; it's Memphis
And reckon it must have been Memphis
because there we were swinging along
about a hundred miles below that town"
II s'pose that fish took that steamboat
. Asvu
the river on it's tail" suggested the
zee the fin marks on the old Jeptha K a
hull, chr"
"Who ever heard of fish grRbbin a
steamboat in its fins?' answered. Captain
Joab scornfully. mo, sir, Wed run
smack up on to the back of that fish. "
But how do you know that fish was
IS feet inches long II you didn't measure
tit" asked the grocer
! Some Teller calculated its length from
the time It took us to pass Memphis
But how in thunder could he get
line on the length of that fish II you wen
by like you say you didT' persisted tn,
grocer. 49,
We'll" explained the captain. he go
half his figures comm and the other hal
goin'"
And that 1,7e2 pounds?"
Somebody figgered that from the over
flow at Quincy"
And about its being as big around tn,
middle as the courthouse tower?"
They found that by sounding the chan
mel we scoOped out just above Hannibal,
replied the captain, considerably.
you say you cast off about shutdown? p
, interposed the grocer's clerk. shyly
! Yep. just about"
But what did you tie up at that tow
for7"
Here's another Teller that hungers 70
dee-tails!' snorted Captain Joab. indiE
nantly. I'VE tied up at that town L
take on some freight"
And the main industry in that Their
towns was" began the clerk.
"A distillery!" finished the captain
reminiscently, as he looked away on
over the courthouse and sighed.-Chicag
Q News.