davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
HIS SUCCESS WAS DOUBTFUL
Clerk Sent to Collect Bill Meets With Astonishing Reply From
 Father of Girl.

A St. Louis merchant had made use of one of his young clerks in the stead of his regular collector, who was i'll.
 When the young man returned from his. rounds his employer observed that he looked rather down in the mouth.
 Have any Iuck?" asked the mer- chant.
 'So so," replied the young man list lessly.
 How about that Jones bill. sup rose you collected that. You said that MT. Jones was a friend of yours"
 Well, sir," said the clerk, 'I don't know whether to rejoice or not at my success with MT. Jones'"
 What do you mean?"
 This, sir: When I went in and said. MT. Jones. I called to speak about a natter he interrupted me before I could proceed further with That's all right. my boy; she's yours Take her and be happy "-Lippin cott's.
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
r.ars of Hat in Theater.

philadelphia. Pa.-Emile Edwards os New York City attended a Market street theater. He was ushered to eeat directly behind that occupied by Q young woman who insisted upon wearing a large hat throughout the performance. Edwards was unable to see the stage and after making sev- eral requests of the young woman to remove her hat, reached over and be- gan tearing to pieces the offensive bat Before the six ushers. employed in the theater reached Edwards there was little left of the hat
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
Gull and Fisheries.

At a recent meeting of farmoulh Town Council, when a draft order was approved designed to secure further nrotection to wild birds, comprising woodcock, great bustard. crossoill' kingfsher, owl. sandmartin and beard cd tot. while all birds are to be i'm mune on Sundays and the eggs or certain species will be protected throughout the year. complaint was made of the depredations of the sea gulls.
 J.. T. c. Salmon. who represents the fishing quarter of the town. said that eulls consume more fish than the fsh- ermen could catch and the fishing ports ought to petition for their de struction and that they ought to be considerably reduced especially in the breeding season. as they were source of great damage to tte fisher les. The mayor said that gplls would not be protected by this order-Lon- don Standard.
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
whx sh. Didn't Cry.

"It wasn't much fun" says Annett. F. McCrea, one of the most successful women architects in the United States when speaking of her early struggles 'T left the youngsters with house, keeper and they had a cheerful way oi writing me every day that they were lonely and miserable
 "I used to sit up half the night an swering their letters. writing ID bleak, cheerless hotel rooms-I nao no money for luxuries. The craving to 3e with the children was a thou sand times harder than the work Sometimes when I could not bear II any longer dragged them around with me
 NO part of it was easy. For every step forward in my work had a thou sand disappointments. l remember one dav went to a mans office expecting to land a good contract. l failed :; somebody else had landed 1t. When I walked out onto the street thought I'd die if I couldn't cry. But there wasn't any place to cry, and didn't Designer.
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
AEROPLANE IN BATTLE
SOME DIFFIcULTIEsA sAPPARENTLl
 IMPOSSIBLE TO OVERCOME.
Enthusiasts Do Not DifferentIate Be- tween the Wonder of the lnven- tIon and the Limitations of
 Its Applications.

Those who regard the aeroplanes as invaluable in warfare. far beyond it's possibilities, are led to their concll- sions by two errors: first, they do not differentiate between the wonder of the invention, per SC. and the limita- tion of it's application. Second. that this conquest of the heavens has noth- ing to do with the subjugation of man. It has not invented into him new fac ulties; and yet it Is man and not machines we have to deal with. While it has given new means of military ob- servation. 1t does not follow that these observations will be more ineligible nor his deductions more reliable nor his judgment and genius. his valor end endurance. superior to what it had been before
 The unreliable and diverse opinions of scouts on things that they have been in actual contact with is a we'll known military phenomenon. and one that is perfectly natural. since there are no two men whose per captive faculties are identical. A good scout Is one of the rarest elements in an army. for he is good only be- cause he has lived in an environment and followed a vocation that develops the faculties of observation and rem ders them accurate. An aerial scout. on the other hand. rarely shoots for ward out of a vocation that has noth- ing to do with those elements that would give reliability to his reports even though be were inspecting. on the ground itself, all things from an entirely different point of view. ana there is but one single thing that be could make a report on that would be worthy of consideration. and that is the actual movement of body Of troops on an open terrene. But his report as to tte strength, it's destina- ton or rate of movement, could be ac- cepted by no commander. and practic- ally all the rest of his information would be erroneous.
 Peering down from great height 1t would be impossible for. him to de- lermine the depth of stream, their bot | tom or their currents or the thickness of ice. He could not ascertain the angle or height of declivities. Looking down from the perpendicular upon these he could have no means or determining whether or not they pe- Ionged to a deep gorge or shallow ravine. He could not ascertain the location of lords and whether In ad- | joining thickets they were derenoeo by bodies of troops or by wired en- tanglements in the ford itself It would he impossible for him, looking down upon woods. villages and forests to ascertain whether or not they con tained troops. and if troops what kind of troops or the number. What would appear to him to be gap In the enemy's lines might in all probability be their strongest posiuon--een.
 Homer Lea, in Harper's Weekly
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
., m.d sn, Eoroot Her Change.

So Mad Sn0 FOTSOt TtS' O''-~.'SO
 The stamp vending machines lnstah- ed in many stores and shops about the city are not favored by woman wno hurried into drug .store In Massa- chusetts avenue several days ago. where there Is branch post office-
 How do you sell your two.cent stamps?" she inquired. indignantly
 1.-TWO cents apiece" replied Bas- sett. ,
 well. that's all right" she replied while she flshed in her purse for a coin. This is the fifth place l nave visited after stamps. At all the other places they. had those slot ma chimes where you have to spend a nickel for two two-cent stamps made up my mind rot to be held up if had to walk all oyer the city. Give me two stamps.
 The woman laid down dime ana hurried out with two two-cent stamps, 'eaying four cents in change lying on inc showcase. She did not return Indianapolis News.
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
THE WAY OF THE FISHERMAN
It Is kiade Hard for Him When He Has Big Story to
 Tell.

A fisherman who was worming for trout on the Ythan had just laid his rod down to visit his sandwich box. when without warning it suddenly rose in the air and scared away like A Bleriot biplane over Esselmont Woods.
 For one wild moment he thought there were visions about. but the explanation was soon apparent. A trout had seized the worm and had then in turn been seized and gorged by a heron. Away Tapped the heron, only to find that it lad captured something of unusual weight.
 Still 1t bravely flew towards its nest in the treetops, and the angler might never more have recognized his rod had 1t not got entangled in some tele- graph wires. with the result that the cast snapped. the heron went free and the rod was eventually restored to It's owner.
 I remember telling this story to man who before had even got as Tar as tte telegraph wires interrupted me assuring me that 1t was mere every day commonplace to wi at had once befallen a friend of his when mash seer fishing in India.
 It seems that his angling friend was casting with large spoon, and Tn a back cast drove 1t into the ear or a tiger which had been going to spring on him from behind. Boarded by the pain. the brute sprang clean over him and into the river, and the fisherman actually played with 1t for gu Tour as it swan to and fro in mid stream.
 It is such stories which bring down on fishermen the unmerited reproach of being liars.
 Once when I had been descrioing some memorable fight with one or the big fish of the past I wrote:
 q live over those tense moments again and again"
 Did the printer so interpret me! Not at all. What he preferred was:
 q lie over those tense moment again and again."
 This sort of thing is- very haro What made it worse at the time was the fact that the friend who drew my attention to the misprint was a golfer-Bailey's Magazine.
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
Tobacco for the Sailor Man..

IJncle Sam admits that the most i'm nortant thing in the life of his sailor men is their tobacco. All other sup niles are bought, as Uncle Sam thinks they ought to be bought, and the low est bidder under the specifications gets the contract. But the sailor men choose their own plug tobacco, and that's what is bought. and by the ton, and mt in the commissary for them The hoard of officers sitting on the job take all the plugs that manufacturers submit to them. cut them up into plts' distribute them around among the men and then take vote on 1t by getting all the opinions properly clas- sifed. Then the sailor men cant kick about the tobacco because they did it themselves.-New York Press.
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
Strange Meeting.

Two sailors with the Atlantic feet brothers, who had been separated from each other for months because they were on different battleships, met by chance on the streets of Lon- don the other day. The father of the two sailors. Captain Ney. secretary of the fire department, received a letter day or two ago telling of the strange meeting.
 Harry Ney, one brother, is on the Nebraska Will Ney. the other. Is on the South Carolina. The two ships were in sight of each other for weeks but the brotSers were still separated Each received five days furlough in England and met at strange corner The rest of the story can be imag
 ned.
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
/ Ar,.rica,s s,o sixteen-Inch Gun.

No battleship yet built could stand up for half an hour against the fire Of the latest United States garrison ar tillery sixteen-inch gun, let alone their fourteen-inch. The sixteen-inch gun, though slow in firing. can hurl projectile weighing twenty-four hun dred pounds a distance of twenty miles or more The latest naval gun thirteen and a half inch, which has not yet been placed aboard any ship in commission, can only throw pro iectile weighing twelve hundred and fifty pounds. and the twelve-inch guns with which the Dreadnoughts are armed, a projectile weighing eight hundred and fifty pounds.-Alexander c. Mcclellan in the Atlantic
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
toojcaI Opposition.

Mrs. Carrie Chapman Catt. advocat ing woman suffrage in New York, said q have never heard in all my life g single syllable of logical opposition tc woman suffrage. The average oppo sition is neither better nor worse thar the argument of certain carter.f
 "Ah,' he growled, 'wot would wom en do with a vote if they had 1t? Con trarv critters! Why, if I says to my old woman, Gimme liver and bacor for dinner" do I git it? Nav! l gil tribe and nninne
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
outarew It.

"Is 1t possible you can't get an. work at your trader" asked the wo- man with the checked apron. at the back door.
 Yes. num-" replied the middle-aged man.
 And what is your trader"
 "I'm boy preacher mum!"-Yon- '.ers Statesman.
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
rhe countrx Grocery.

Storekeeper Jason-What's the tron ble, Sile?
 New Clerk-Why. the molasses up set and spread all over the writing paper.
 Storekeeper-Tut. tut! Don't let that worry you. We'll keep it until next summer and sell 1t as fly paper. It always pays to be philosophical. my Noy.
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
aobby,s Good Time.

Bobby has just returned from his first Christmas party and mamma. who has a visitor, is very proud.
 well, Bobby, did you have good time?" asks mamma.
 'Uh, huh," mutters Bobby.
 And now tell mamma and her friend what you did at the party?"
 "Frowed up."-Ladies' Home Jour nal.
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
New to Her.

Miss" began the polite agenr. ~could I sell you a patent vacuum cleaner?"
 ''No. sir" responded the new maid forcibly. "We don't keep a vacuum here"
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
A Queer Lot.

What is that patient doing ovei there in the corner?"
 He's a crazy circus man who is drawing up catalogue for an entire ly original menagerie."
 What animals has he catalogued so far?"
 "A sun dog. a moon calf, an ocean greyhound, sea puss and an Irish bull"
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
Lack of Tact.

That man is about the most tact less person I have ever known"
 q agree with you. He would have no more sense than to ask barber to subscribe to a fund for the. purpose of providing a monument for the in ventor of the safety razor"
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
Rural Ruse.

Silas-How in the dickens aid Skiu- flint Jason. the village storekeeper. get around the pure food law. by vowing he never watered his vine gar?
 Cyrus-Oh. that was easy. He wa ters his hard cider before 1t turns 70 vinegar."i
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
The Wise Man and the Fool.

"A fool can squander in a day what 1t has taken a wise man lifetime to accumulate"
 "Yes, and the wise man is generally the one who gives the fool the chance to do the squandering."
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
The Home Art.

"Jake's married magician's daugh- ter and found the fathers art in the case"
 'In what way?"
 He asked for the dauehter's hand In marriage and soon found 1t was in his pocket"
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
Not for Him.

F1gg-Don't you wish you could live your life over again?
 Fogg-Well, should say not. I've got a 2O-year endowment policy ma turing this month
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
. 1oothpick Kills a Boy.

Richland, Pa.-Earl, the 13-year-old son of MT. and Mrs. William Person of tbis place, is dead from peritonitis caused by swallowing a toothpick. The sharp end of the wood had pierced his intestines
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
A Good Reason.

'sWhy in the world did he ever mar " a female contortionist?
 q guess he had an idea that 1t wouldn't be necessary for him to hook her up the back"
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17
PENNIES FOR THE DIVA
GRAND OPERA STAR DISGUISED HERSELF AS STREET SINGER.
Famous soIoIst to Hear Wrom So ciety Gives Up Fancy Prices at Theater, Gets Only Pennies
 on the Street.

New 4Ork.-A grand opera Slngea Eho gets $1.8O0 week was able to make only $316 a day. She played a trick on the public and the public tricked itself. for large part of it didn't take the trouble to listen to music free that it gladly pays dollars to hear when 1t Is labeled with. the operas and the singers name.
 Few singers who have appeared in New York in recent years are better known than Emma Trentini For three hours the other day Trentini was a street singer. Sfe sang real opera She gave. the best she had and who were those who rewarded genius with a penny? Who remem- bered a full. sweet voice which car ried more than eight stories. sing ing:
 "Quando men vo'
 SoIetta per la via gente sosia."
 That's the waltz from La Boheme." She sang it in yard behind 315 West Ninety-eighth street, which forms court for six apartment houses facing on Ninety-eighth and Ninety-ninth streets. And the darling of Broad way" whose salary for one week Is $1S0O. received cents for her en- tertainment.
 It was a baby that first "discov- ered'' the great artist in the street singers garb From one of the win dows came penny wrapped in note It said:
 '.The baby won't sleep while you sing. Please go away"
 "The baby. 'eeh weel not sleep. no. yes" said ,Trentini. rougish twinkle in her big black eyes. NO. eeh weel not sleep. weel sing teem loo looby."
 And here the tiny diva. who stands little more than four feet high. was crooning the softest of melodies in Italian. She sang for only a minute. but a woman's head was thrust from one of the upper windows and n:ckel tinkled into the courtyard. Trentini picked 1t up and waited for more There was no more!
 Then she tiptoed out of the court.
 At the Apthop apartment house. where a single apartment rents for
 
 S1O,000 a year, a stern policeman barred the way. He was there to see that none of the guests was disturbed. even by an $1.S0O a week voice
 At the Ansonia the little troubadour. instead of asking "by your leave. brought out her tambourine and sounded the first note of La Colom- ba" ("The Dove"O. which was dedi- cated to her by Kurt Scblindler.
 Trentini looked neither to the right nor to the left. She did not turn back. but straight through the swing ing doors and into the sacred halls of the Ansonia. w. E. D. Stokes. pro prietor of the Ansonia. was passing through the hall.
 My dear young woman, be said. you have a wonderful voice. How did you get into my hotel? Come into the ballroom; want you to sing for my guests
 A few women, some dressed in furs and diamonds, gathered around Again Trentini sang "Boheme" and danced about the big ballroom. People pacsed fin their astonishment. Chatelaine bags were opened and out came-pen nies. Yes. and some nickels. and dimes, and quarters. and one man gave dollar!
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17

HV lE Montauk tribe of Indians
 is oficia ly and legally deao. tt
 Is so writ in the records, and the waves beating against the nr,o leland chnro moan if as n
The Holbrook news., 1911-03-17

Friend (consolingly)-So you've lost your job, eh? Well, don't worry about it. I reckon you was only wastin yer time in a place like that.
 Young Bill (sadly)-Yes, that's what the boss told me when he sacked ue
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-07-10
MAYORS VETO OF
(Continued from PAGE u

Territory of Hawaii and which have
been made to the public through the
press from time to time. The repre-
sensations have all been of the same
tenor namely an effort to centralize
responsibility and authority, by max
ing the City and County Engineer the
head Of all road and public improves
ment work. The bill In question does
not change the present system only
In the appointing authority, hence
cannot make any material improve
ment In the administration of the vari-
Gus road departments.
No doubt the bill in question would
II 1t become law, place a certain
amount Of responsibility on the City
and County Engineer but IL does not
clothe him with the authority TO dis
miss offending employees to protect
himself and enhance the good of the
service. Until this Is done or the
Board of Supervisors create depart
ment of public works with head tina,
has the authority 70 conduct his de.
partment, we will never have an eff
cient. economical, businesslike admin.
istration of affairs.
Secondly the Act of the Legislature
giving the power to the Board OF
Supervisors to appoint by ordinance
did not take effect until July LIST still
the Bill in question was drawn and
passed three readings during June
All of which might invalidate the
ordinance.
For the foregoing reasons ! return
the bill herewith without my approval
Yours respectfully,
J. ]. FERN.
MnyOr
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-07-10
MURDERER HELD
TO GRAND JURY

Juan Bueno Garcia. the young Span
lard, who killed Antonio Moreno AL
varez at Waialua, this morning waiv-
ed preliminary examination In police
court. Judge Monsarrat told the de-
PENDANT that he was entitled to get
an attorney to appear in his defense
and suggested II the defendant was
willing to leave the matter to the
grand jurr.
Joseph Rose, the court interpreter
explained to the defendant what the
Judge had said in the case. Garcia
looking down for a moment, first
thanked the Judge for his explanation
and asked that his case may be re.
ferred to the grand jury. which was
done Immediately.
Deputy Sheriff Cox and DIR. Hubert
II. Wood OF Waialua were In court this
morning DR.. Wood was about to ties
tify on the stand. when the defendant
through the interpreter, waived the
examination, and was committed tt
the grand jury.
Garcia's head still showed where hi
had been hit with n hoe by Aware;
before he killed his assailant
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-07-10
AVIA7ORS HUG
MOTHER Earth

II looks as II the aviation enthusiasts
tian Science methods to witness any
further flying by the two opponents Of
aerial navigation, one Clarence ii.
Walker and one Diddier Mason. who
comprise the Continental Aviation
Company, Limited.
II has been thoroughly proven that
mind controls over matter and body,
and this means Of control. which was
years and years ago theory, has now
come into vogue among many OF the
worlds best people. and IL found to be
more than practical by them Also, the
old Hindus have a faculty of throwing
themselves into trance and making
visionary myths real. so, keeping these
good stunt. In fact, 1t looks like the
only way the local people will have
the pleasure of seeing the Continental
Aviation Company, Limited, aviate Is
to GO to Leilehua, ensconse themselves
most comfortably in an easy chair
before the two machines set up ready
for flight and then make their mind "a
blank to all worldly cares other than
the planes before them. concentrating
| finally on flying and aerial manuver-
ing to such high degree that the in
animate machines will soon become
animated to their minds. leave the
grounds and go through all kinds of
flights such as hurdling. altitude soar
ing. speeding, dipping. and then, to
wind the meet up In grandstand style,
cause their minds to make them see
the huge planes go through the hair
raising stunt of spiraling and looping
the loop when 1t descends from the ce-
lestial realms of the universe. That
would put a thriller into their soul
they would never forget.
| Just why the brides have not ma
tured enough to leave their feathered
nest on Mother Earth to conquer King
Air Is hard to tell. 1t may be that one
IL afraid and the other "dassent." or the
machines refuse absolutely to take 8
chance of having the honor bestowed
upon them of tumbling back to the
more stable ground, earth. or course
there are lots more pleasure ways OF
staying on earth than to go up ant
come down In IA manner most uncom'
Portable to heart and feelings. II II
hoped. though. that some flights cal
be made that will put them right in thu
eyes of the people who are lovers o
javiation.
They were to fly yesterday. but moth
Ing doing. They We're to fly this morn
ling, but 1t rained little bit, therefor,
nothing doing--but tomorrow comes
and with 1t may come some flights, 81
the only thing to do Is to wait and SCI
whats doing.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-07-10
PASSENGERS DEPARTED

Per stmr. Mauna Kea for Kahului
Especial trip)--Governor Frear. Il. A
Mott-Smith, J. s. Warehouse, +. L
Paxton, s. NJ. Damon, Miss Damon.
Mrs. Alexander, Miss Nellie Alexan-
der, Miss Alexander, Miss MCGOWAN,
J.. A. McCandless, G. p. Wilder. w
Pfotenhauer, Paul Isenberg. T. Give
Davies. J. A. Kennedy, George X. Car
ter, II. Judd and wife, John Fleming
Lyle Dickey. Rev. Poepoe, W. G. Achi
Daniel Logan, II. o. Matheson, Rev
Canon Ault, Bishop Restarick, +. NJ
Hatch, w. o. Smith, DR.. Clark, Cecil
Brown, A. Lewis, Jr., p. c. Jones, John
Guild, c. II. Atherton, A. Adams, J
b. Castle. Mayor Fern, b. +. billing
ham. w. r. Castle, A. C. Alexander
and wife, L. Judd and wife, Robe.t
Cation. w. Hoopii, r. d. Baldwin G
w. Baldwin. N. Aluli, J. Kanakanu
and HDttip Mahop