davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pioneer press. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1882-19??, 1911-02-25
RATHER DIsCoNCERTING.

"Mamma," said little Ethel, with q
sad look, II amt going to school an y
more"
"" ny, rof dearie, what'o tho na.,
i@'!' gun,lv asktd the u9o&her.
Pioneer press. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1882-19??, 1911-02-25
Nc6TALGIA (HtME SICKNESS

J
Wbosoever suffers from this dis
ease is sad and unhappy mortal,
even though physically hale and
robust. The city man in the coun-
try, the country man ia the city, the
highlander in the lowlsnds, the lone
one from homo and family, &c -
Gil know OF the paOgs Of nostalgia.
The foreigner among people with
whom be cannot converse is ono of
| the keencst sufferers, for he is 10 the
position of man all alone in n
crowd. But we all knew something
OF it, if We are only willing TO con
fees 1t, the writer not excepted.
|. ~
The DRUMMER Boy OF Sutton.
TIE way in which Col. John L..
Glenn, "ihe famous Drummer Boy OF
Shhoh,' got into the regular army is
unique and interesting. 1t was in
the early days Of Gen. Grants fret
term as President. Individually and
without aid Glenn secured an audi
ence with the President.
lbe President said, "Boy, what
can do for you?"
Clem answered, "Mr. Precedent,
wish to ask you for an order to admit
me to West Point.''
but wby," said the President do
you not take the examination?
II did, MIR. President, but I failed
10 pass."
"That was unfortunate" said the
President, "how was thst?'
"Why, Mr.. President, you sec 1
was IN the war. and while there those
boys OF my age were in school,"
"Wha' = sail the President,
amazed, "you were in the war?'.
"Yes, Mr.. President, l WAS in the
war from little boy and have had a
Sioo' eAPtrleuCe, ana now only QOIDQ
on eighteen.
Tbe President wrote something.
sealed it and handed it to Glenn, saw
ing;
Take this to the Secretary Of War
l guess i, will fix you all right.
Glenn went to Tho Secretary. bnt
was received somewhat coldly. He
delivered the note. The Secretarv
after reading it sait.:
DO you kpow what this is7,
"No" esid Glenn, "But supposed
it was an order to admit to West
Point"
Pioneer press. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1882-19??, 1911-02-25

Wantcd-Coemop0litun Magazine
requires the services Of 3 represen.
tative in MartiusbUrg to look sitter
subscription renewals and % extend
circulation by sptciul methods which
have proved unuenalIy succcssful.
salary and commisei Previous
experience desirable but tot cssen-
tial. Whole tinc or spare time. Ad-
dress, with references, II. G. Camp.
bell, Cosmopolitan Magoz ne, 1889
Broadway, New Y0tkCn,.
Pioneer press. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1882-19??, 1911-02-25
Cheerful
Observations

S"ses ~ Ano souA an q neolth to the
bones. Prov. 1924. .
Thank God for the man who is cheerful.
In spite Of Hfe's troubles, l say;
Who sings of brighter tomorrow,
Because of the clouds Of today.
His life is beautiful sermon,
And this 10 tho lesson to me-
Meet trials with smiles, and they van
ish;
Face cares with song, and they flee,
Anon.
What rust is TO iron, worry is to
these bodies Of uurs-it corrodes
ttem.-Anon.
When ou're feelin' grouchy,
Lot the sunshine in;
When your face gets feelin' hard;
Crack it with a grin.
Don't be 'fraid O wrinkles,
Tear loose with your mirth;
An old face: laugh ter. .wrinkled,
Is tho sweetest thing on earth.
Houston Post,
For we know not overy morrow can be
sad;
30 forgetting all the sorrow wo have
had.
Let us fold away our fears,
And put by our foolish tears,
And through all the coming years,
Just be glad.
What was hard to bear will be
sweet to RENE member,-Spurgeon.
"Mirtb is Gods medicine. Every
body ought to bathe in it. Grim are
morosenees and anx'ety-,be rust of
life which ought 10 be secured off by
the oil of mirth. 1t is better than
emery. Blessed is the man who has
sense OF the humorous. He has tha t
which is worth more than money
Henry Ward Beccber.
When man lives with God, bis
voice shall be as sweet as the mur-
muir of the brook and the rustic Of
the corD.-Emersou.
Give to your enemy forgiveness, 10
your opponent tolerance, to your
1rieDd your heart, to your child q
good example, TO your parents defer.
ence and TO everybody sunshine
Anon.
IL don't think much OF a man who
10 not wiser today than be was yes
terday, b1 aham Lincoln.
TO watch the corn grow, or the
blossoms Get; 10 draw hard breath
over the plowsbares or spade; to
read, to think, to love, to pray are
the things that make men happy
Ruskin.
Self distrust is the cause of the
most Of our failures, In the assur-
aDce OF strength there is strength
ana tney ore the weakest, bowever
strong, who bave no faith in them
selves or their powers.-Bovee.
believe that today is better than
yesterday and that tomorrow will be
petter than today George F. Hoar.
The five beet doc,ors anywhere,
ard no one can deny it, are doctors
Sur shine, Water, Air Exercise and
Diet.
These five will gladly you attend,
II only you are willing;
Your mind they'll cheer. your ills they
mend,
And charge you not one shilling.
0. S. Hoffman.
lie that 's of cheerful heart hath
6 continual itAst P.nv. 1a,IH,
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22
CELEBRATES DEATH OF KIN
American Woman in Paris Gives Din
ner In Honor Of Mother-ln- Laws
Demise, Only to Fird Error.


Paris.-Many strange things happen
in Paris, but the most weird and
ghaslly expression Of novel social en-
tertainments this season was q dinner
given by certain New York woman,
celebrating. as she thought. the death
OF her rich motherin-law. The lady
has been in Paris since the close of
the Nice season. Her husband. who
does not care for butterfly life so
ciety. remains In the villa at Nice.
The other day she received a tele-
gram from her husband, which read:
Mother is dead" Thinking 1t was
the wealthy mother Of her husband.
she invited friends to dinner, saying
she was going to celebrate new and
better era in her life, which the for
tune Of her mother-in-law would bring
Some Of the more sensitive guests re-
belled inwardly at the idea, but the
dinner went on. Next day the hostess
sent apologies to her guests. saying
II was not her motber-in-law who had
died. but her own mother. The mis-
take arose by her husband merely re-
peating cablegfam received for her
at Nice
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22
AIMS TO ABOLISH TROUSERS
Berlin Society Of Scholars and Artists
Proposes New and Unique Gar
ments-Discard Linens.

Berlin.-A society of seventy per
sons has been organized in Berlin for
the purpose Of reforming the style Of
men's garments. II is composed OF
persons from all sorts of professions
and aims at abolishing trousers. sub
stituting knic.-erbockers; while coat
and waistcoat are to give way to a
sort of loose blouse hanging well
down to the knees. Linen OF all sorts
is to be discarded
The newspapers treat the matter as
more or less absurd: and some Of
them challenge the members OF the
society themselves to appear in pub
lie in the new garb. The Cologne Ca
zette gees deeper and points out that
Germany can have no influence over
the worlds fashions for mems cloth
ing because of the predominance OF
the military uniform over civilian
clothing here. where even the ,em-
peror never lays aside his helmet for
a silk hat.
II thinks that the fashion for mems
garments will continue to be set at
London. for "a popular dandy Of Lon.
don clubdom has more influence in
setting the fashions than the whole OF
this society of German scholars. art
lists and writer's"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22
BRIDE In DISTRESS

At this critical stage Captain VI
ster Davis. who was a board the
Frank Jones, saw towboat belong
ing TO the Cornell Towing line. Of
which he is superintendent Snatch
ing the megaphone he hailed the tug
boat and ordered 1t alongside. The
woman amid cheers and congratula-
lions. was placed on board the tug
and returned to Manhattan
When Mr.. and Mrs. Day learned Of
the report that the passenger had
given the name Of Mrs. Day. they de-
clared they had both been at home
on the day in question. They re-
fused to- give the name Of the young
woman who Is their guest. but some
of their friends we're discussing.
amid giggles. the subterfuge' of the
bride" who did not want to take a
trip to Albany instead Of one 70
Coney.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22
Wanted to Go to coney Island,
but Boarded Albany Boat.
Sympathetic Hudson River Tugboat
Captain Took Her OF and Re-
turned Her to bridegroom
Of Few Weeks"

New York.-A woman who de-
scribed herself as Mrs. ]. ]. Day Of
S17 West Ninety-third street intended
to go to Coney island, but didn't go.
Instead she would have arrived at
Albany. but for the act Of a tugboat
captain. who took her on the Frank
Jones, a Hudson river steamboat.
somewhere in the neighborhood of
Tarrytown. and returned her safe
and sound to what she described as
her waiting husband" and bride
groom of a few weeks The real
Mrs. Day denied that she had figured
In the transfer. and intimated that the
woman was a girl friend. who is her
guest
The woman wanted to go aboard
one of the Iron Steamboat company's
vessels. but failed to realize she was
passenger on board the Frank
Jones until Yonkers hove In sight.
Then she declared that hubby"
would sit up all night looking for
his bride" In vain and went very bit
terly. Captain Loucks was sympa-
thetic but firm. Signals of distress
from the whistle of the Frank Jones
brought the Albany. another Hudson
river steamboat. alongside in Jig time.
What's the matter? Riot?" asked
Captain Post. anxiously leaning over
the rail of the Albany.
NO; a BRIDE" replied Captain
Loucks through his megaphone.
Thought we were blooming
Coney island tripper and is afraid hub
by viii miss her when she's gone"
Too bad" hoated the response
across the water: I'VE are all out Of
smelling salts. Is there anything else
I can do?"
why. yes responded the skipper
of the Frank Jones. IF you think OF
1t you might telephone to J. J. Day.
at s17 West Ninety-third street. that
his wife is taking an unexpected run
up to Albany and won't be back till
tomorrow.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22
RUNAWAY BoYs FIND ERROR
Two Plttsburs Lads Get Stranded IN
Cincinnati and Writes Injunction
TO All Youths.

Cincinnati.-Frank Heiber and Jo-
seph Lechner of Pittsburg, both aged
fifteen. who started out to see the
world a few days ago. we're found
early the other morning sleeping un-
der the Cincinnati & Ohio bridge In
Cincinnati. They told the officers
that they had come to Cincinnati in
parlor car. and thought they were
going to see the entire world. How
ever. their money soon gave out and
they were forced to sleep anywhere
they could find place to lie down.
Heiber said his father died last
March. ard that his mother is very
sick. He doesn't know why he left
her. The officials will send them
both home. Heiber has written the
following injunction to all youths:
~Boys--Never leave home. 1t IL
the best place on earth.
IT you ever feel the hankering
TO see the world. ask your home folks
what is the best thing to do.
II started out feeling like a mil
lionaire. had s12. I thought that
was plenty. They found me sleeping
under a railroad bridge.
THAT old song. There's No Place
Like Home is the truest song ever
written"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22
WHEN LIGHT FAILED
IN TOWN OF GEEvILLE.
The Trumpet Blast Of Freedom
Forced to Skip Issue.
evrsnus BimfiIek, Touring Genius,
Works Havoc With Editors
Plans.
ev ED MOTT.

touring professor Of the art pre-
.arrative came into the Trumpet Blast
ofice and agreed in consideration Of a
marter. to be paid when / returned.
and a dime to him in hand duly paid
FOR present requirement in the form
n two of Fritz's schooners, to set q
column Of matter needed for the pa
per that week. while rode eight
miles on Deacon Beavers lame old
mare and collected FIVE dollars that a
mar. down the river. and good as the
wheat. owed me for some horse bills,
and which would insure satisfactory
negotiation with the express company
of the Trumpet Blasts paper for the
current issue. showed the tramp
PRINTER the copy hook with the copy
on II, among which was q very able
story Of my own about the wonderful
dolngs OF q rat. and rode away.
II happened that the man I was go
iax to see had come to Geeville that
morning and did not know It until
not to his house. On my way back,
though, met him. He did not stop.
but as he drove on by he shouted to
me that he had stopped in the Trum-
pet Blast Office and paid that FIVE dol
lars to my partner.
NY partner! Visions Of the tramp
printer and that ive dollars In asso-
ciation over az Fritz's rose before me.
and Il was a shame the way ! rode
the deacon's old mare back to Gee
vile. The Trumpet Blast Office was
empty when l got there. l dashed
over to Fritz's. fearing the worst. but
hoping that the lure of the place had
held the tourist there in soft dalliance
with its wares; but he had tarried, so
tbey told me. only long enough to put
away two schooners and get i've
dollar bill changed. and then had gone
bis way. l went back to the ofiice,
and all the consolation got was In
communication he had left on my
table addressed to me. This was II:
Sir: With one fell swoop you hurl
ne from the realm Of art back to
sIdeshow barking again. and ! fee!
Listen to my tale Of woe.
"Years ago wrote little story Of
he doings Of common house rat
;hat showed the possession Of some
thing trespassing on genius. On the
part Of the rat. The item was printed
n New York newspaper. At the
time / was a composisor in q small
weekly down York state way. Soon
afterward. the rural editor ! was
working for was constrained. owing
70 almost universal noninterference
On the part of the reading and busi-
ness public in the affairs of his Office.
10 discontinue the publication Of his
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22

came. always ready with that rat
story to shove into my hand. credited
to as many different papers.
Il began to feel at last that this
rat story was sort Of an Old Man Of
the Sea to me. Its burden was be-
coming unbearable. The form 1t took
as a pet white rat was more than
could bear. This was passed to me
in the composing room of Philadel-
phia newspaper. ! set 1t up, jumped
the town. and fed to New York, fear
ing to tarry by the way in New Jer-
sey, for II had been confronted with
the rat story and Jersey both. know
that certain and lasting collapse
would have been mine.
"T viii fly to New York. said
There. II anywhere, can escape that
rat and the unfortunate genius of It
that impelled me to put It on record
you may imagine my astonish-
ment. sir: may well say my horror.
then. when in the ofiice of the very
newspaper which had printed that rat
story for me originally five years be-
fore. found the haunting item, the
avenging Nemises. my Old Man Of
the Sea. awaiting me!
This is a warning of some kind,
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22
COUPLE GIVE KISSING SHOW
Large Crowd Gathers and Enjoys os-
culatIons at PIasa chsutauqus--
Girl Was Pretty.

St. Louis.-Piasa Chautauqua was
aroused soon after the arrival of the
steamer Alton. by volley Of smacks
Several men and women ran down to
the river and beheld young woman
and swain in blue serge. sitting close
together on the beach One of his
hands was clasped firmly In hers.
With regularity he popped his
lips upon hers 4nd each kiss was so
vigorous as to be audible. In few
minutes the news spread throughout
the resort Swimming pools and walk
ing paths were deserted and scores OF
persons iocked to points Of vantage.
In reply to jeers the young man
cried: You fellows are only jealous.
Don't you wish II we're your? The
enraptured pair remained absorbed in
one another until IT was time to take
the steamer back to st. Louis. The
girl was a brunette about 20 years
old and was prettily dressed. The
man seemed few years older.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22

Santa Monica, Cal.-By a vote Of
the city council the scant bathing
suits that heretofore inadequately
sarbed the forms Of men loIling ON
the sands have bees banished from
this beach. Men must wear skirts on
their surf costumes. The short trunks
must be heightened into trouserettes
reaching to the knees. and there must
be sleeves.
Furthermore. "bathers" must bathe
when they come down to the peach.
not merely disport themselves on the
sands.
The new order was put through By
irate citizens There was no com
plant about the costumes worn By
women, although they also are or
dered to bathe and not pose. Spoon
ing parties" are barred.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22
Real Summer Weather Works RevoIu-
tIon In Mems Fashions In French
capital--Few Of Changes.

St. Louis.-"Whewl II is hot." One
may hear this hundreds Of times a
day now that Paris has had taste
of real summer weather. caught a
deputy going into the Palais Bourbon
with white shoes and looking quite
pleased with himself. writes the
Paris correspondent OF the Globe
Democrat The golf collar is still to
be invented as an adjunct to the
French summer costume, but the
kummerbund Is here. oddly in vogue
with wearers protuberant in those
parts. The really classic figure is the
Frenchman with black alpaca coat.
white linen trousers. Panama hat
with a rakish twist behind. an Inn
mense blue tie with white spots, q
handkerchief OF brilliant hue and de-
sign half way out OF his pocket, the
whole surmounted by gray cotton
umbrella This venerable type still
exists. but is becoming rarer.
The modern Frenchman has taken
an inventive turn with his clothes.
am leaving aside the man who has
become Anglicize6 by reason of much
reading Of tailors' circulars from
Bond street. and who take naturally
to his fiannelette suit IN summer
he is the exception. the large excep-
tion- The ordinary Partisan. II you
produce hot sun, becomes playful.
sartorially. and disports himself IN
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22


sure as fatel' said L This irrepres-
sible rat story isn't chasing me all
over the country In its various dis
guises for nothingl III quit the
business.
Threw up my job then and there.
Gave up my beloved art. Took up
barking for sideshow. That was
i've years since, and was barking
still, when little while ago the siren
voice Of the old time began to buzz
in my ears. +.
"sir. yours Is the FIRST town I have
struck. and I hailed It with joy. But
now I flee from II, and am getting
away as fast as / can Why? Listen.
I took up here the composing stick
again for the first time in years.
What have you dug Up and put before
me as my first take Of copy7 MY Old
Man OF the Seal Ny avenging
Nemesis Reincarnation Of the rat
story. the haunting thing from which
I fed fve years ago. And done by
youl
OH, not ior less tndn ft.oV "oulo
I confront such shock as this and
remain to defy the warning of It!
But credit you with the fiver the
nice old gent brought In You can
forward me the balance by first mail.
my risk.
with one fell swoop you huri me
from the realms Of art back to side
show barking again. and / fee. ]
say good-oy. not au revoir. Yours.
crushed. Cyrenus Bibfiick.
There are people to this day who
do not know why the Trumpet Blast
of Freedom missed publication that
week. Rush of outside Job work
80 ] stated In the next number that
came out.
tcoDyright. By W. a. chapuaa3
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22
A Touring Professor Of the Art

- -
nevspaper. and was thrown out of
Job.
The ONCE owed me SIS. All the
money that was due the ONCE was
juzt that amount It was owed by q
marble cutter. and he was perfectly
sood for It. asked the editor to
4Se me an order on the marble cutter
,'r TIE amount. He said he would II
insisted on having It. but the debt
~ payable in trade. He was saving
= ns said. with tears In his eyes, to
~ tombstone for his poor old IA
@1 who. he said, was then on his
@t legs. But l could have the order
a wanted 1t. he said. mournfully. !
oo'ont see where could use any
4sp stones to advantage Just then.
o hadn't the heart, anyway, to rob
re editor OF the poor comfort Of
r.rk'ng the last resting place of his
o isther with suitable memorial.
o V ! didn't take the order. /
'o shat all aspiring typos do in sim
~ situations. combined pedes-
'enizm with my art. and started out
" % the country and the newspapers
q the country.
me first place paused In was
'na'o. N. Y. Cot a sit. subbing.
oe very first take they handed me
- vas that rat story OF mine, clipped
n the paper that had printed IT
~, - said nothing. Set It up. Cleve-
~. a fured me next. One night stand.
= 'oa'e grabbed stick they put me
= q 'ork on that rat story. clipped from
!. 5analo paper. Walking was good
ne way down through Ohio. In
49, country newspaper ofiices set up
t nat story Of mine.
~ s'sd to Chicago. Got a sit in a
nevspaper once. Pardon me for
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22

saying. sir. that you win pause right
here and call me liar. but I refer
you to the foreman OF that once for
corroboration. ! forget his name. and
think he has left there. but you can
look him up. had the rat story for
take right away. and It was cred
tied to q rural paper way up In
Minnesota Bad enough for me to go
to st. Louis after that. but worse still
to IND my rat story waiting for me
in q newspaper Office there, credited
to an Indianapolis paper.
Il journeyed southwark. only to
find Nashville. Atlanta. New Orleans,
Mobile. Charleston. Savannah. and
other places. both as went and
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22
Alpaca Coat Worn in Paris

diver on a bean feast. II you can
imagine diver regaling himself on
anything but oysters or sponges He
has certainly deep-sea appearance:
curious khaki cloth. very light and
very shiny. He looks more than ever
like Father Neptune in an on mo-
ment as be pulls at his long briar-
wood pipe.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22

Springfield. 0.-Mrs- Nora Jenkins.
who kept her savings OF ss1 in her
stocking. which she wore to bed. arose
IN her sleep. took the stockings on
and taking the money down stairs.
buried II in the cellar. 1t was sew
eral days befo:s she found It
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-09-22

London--The killing Of a rooster
BY a father whose child Il attacked
was held TO be Justified By Judge
Smith at Atherston county court
Sued By the birds owEer. ths father
pleaded that be killed the cockersl.
which was notoriously savage. Al II
was attacking his child
Morris tribune., 1911-09-29
PEPPERToN

Ben King, Oscar Hover and Mabel
Rentz spent Tuesday evening at C..
A. Gausmann's.
Paul and Pearl Schlattmann, Mabel
Rentz. Tillie, Oscar and Louis Hoyer
spent Sunday at Bach's.
John Boetner spent Sunday at home.
L. J. Schlattmann returned Sunday
night from St. Paul where he spent a
few days.
Mabel Rentz visited with Heick g
over Sunday.
Smith Bros, from Herman, moved
on O'Brien's place last week. The
place was vacated by J. King.
Mrs. Schoenheiter spent few days
with Mrs. Bach last week.
Mabel Rentz spent few days with
Miss Melanie Back.
J. W. Smith, of Donnelly, showed
his smiling countanance in our berg
Tuesday.
VIM. Gausmann and family and Mrs.
Schoenheiter spent Sunday at C. A.
Gausmanns.
Ida, Lena and Paul Andert visited
with Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Andert
Sunday.
DR.. Caine was called to attend Mrs.
Bredy Friday evening who was seri-
ously i'll. Last report is that she is
getting along nicely.
Morris tribune., 1911-09-29
WEST DARNEn

Mr.. and Mrs. John Beimel were
Morris callers on Tuesday.
Arthur Juergenson visited with
Henry Steinbring last Sunday.
School started in District twelve
last Monday with Kate McAleer as
teacher.
J. B. Newell drove to Chokio the
first of the week on business.
Miss Elsie Baumgartner, Andrew,
Emil and Frank Steinbring visited at
Henry Guhrt's Sunday.
George Maughan is having his build
ings painted, which greatly improves
their appearance.
George Ross called at the Horse
Shoe Farm Sunday evening.
Miss Louise Maughan started her
duties in District forty last Monday.
George Vaughan visited at his par
entail home the week end.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ed Wagner visited
with the formers sister, Mrs. Peter
Loehr, near Chokio.