New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-08-06
THE VACATION COMEBACK
Warning for Horace When He
Cuts Loose for Two Weeks.

lust because the time has rolled around
at last and you're on your vacation. lior'
ace. don't let that champagne thirst run
away with YOUR beer pocketbook; and re-
member that you are accustomed 10 play
ing the part OF the gentleman Of leisure
with money to burn only short two weeks
out Of the entire year.
! \ lot Of strangers meet at summer re-
sort hotel. IL is true. Horace. but bear IN
mind that there's mighty apt 10 be- AT least
one among them from your home city VINO
knows or is able TO find out precisely what
: YOU do So. back pedal bit on the loud
noise you're striving TO create, for the
world l. indeed a small place.
/ Many n future high fnancier has mani
/ tested his latent talent not by securing a
place near the centre Of the table-Whers
most of the dishes congregate-but by tip
ping the waitress in both coin and jolly so
that she'll pass 'em TO him first
I There's nothing like bathing suit. Hor-
ace. TO show just how broad your shoul-
ders really are. so don't laugh at the girl
who won't go in bathing because she :
afraid she will look like fright when she
gets her hair wet
Speak well Of your boss when you're sit
ting in one corner Of the veranda smok
ing with men some OF them may know
/ him. and that's one time when they'll lis
[ ten attentively to what you say.
If YOU must play cards fer money with
few of the fellows in a friendly little
I session" pay your board bill first; the land
lord will laugh with YOU when YOU tell him
oe a nice little cleanup but he doesn
care to hear hard luck tales
# YOU can't swim. say so. II YOU cant
| sail boat. admit it. And. above all If
! YOU don't know how TO play bridge whist
/ don't try to bluff your way through. Tor
at the bridge table there's no such thing
J as four-fushing.
. Every young fellow is apt to get sand IL
his shoe when he's walking on the beach
but not every lad has the forethought &c
remember that hole I'm the big toe Of bis
right sock and refrain from removing tho
torment until he reaches the privacy oi
| bis own room.
n Won start a summer Irritation witt
some one who seems perfectly willing Il
reciprocate bear in mind that your vaca
ton lasts but two weeks and that Other
chaps took theirs before you came down
and still others will be there after you've
gone back TO the grind.
fair maid may clutch you "lldH
around the neck when a big wave rolls II
uuon the bathers. but there's no guarantee
bv a long shot that she'll even dance with
YOU in the evening. \ heavy undertoW o'
an inquisitive crab crawling around on TN
oceans bottom is as great leveller o.
7 caste a. sorrow or common danger evel
dared be.
Amt IT funny what a difference Just
few hours make I'm the way you feel Whei
YOU step off the train at the beginning o.
vOur trip and when YOU climb aooar'
again homeward bound at the end?
II Won have any real friendship for I'M
fellows back I'm the office. don't send then
ricti,re postcards telling what bully Ole
fine you're having. Those of them wn'
have been away are sore because thel
have and those who haven't are counting
the davs until your return, so they car
hike out.