davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15
THE GLASS IN HUMoR.


 Good morning, gentlemen, 9Asaid the Professor of Humor. We have this morning to consider the humor 9f sheer facuity. MT. Slabsides, you may open the exercises by giving me an example os sheerly vacuous humor's
 If you had no backyard fence would you get your caterwaul?' said MT. Slab-s sides. his face flushing deeply with shame. 4 MT. Lowbrow," said the professor. you may give me a cabinet version of this style of humor"
 I am not feeling very well this morn- lng. Professor" said MT. Lobrow, faint ". And if you'll excuse me- I'--
 Now, MT. Lowbrow, you might as we'll ger thls thlng over with at once." retort-. ed the Professor, petulantly. I'm not well myself, but haven't shrked my duty, and theres no reason why you should. Go on. Give me cabinet yer sion of this style of humor." ]. Does the President ever lose his tenn per? Only when"- a Mir. Lobrow faltered, and then with wild glance around him he sank down into his chair and burying his face in bis hands, sobbed like a child.
 "I can't do it, Professor" he walled. "I cant do it!' That will do, Mir Lobrow," said inc Professor gently, with a pitying glansa
  MT. Giggleton, you may take the mat ter up. To the question, Does the Presi- dent ever lose his temper? What is the sheerly vacuous answer?'' The whole class braced itself for the reply.
 "on1y when secretary knocks" groaned Mir. Giggleton.
 But never a reply either in approval or otherwise came from the Professor. The strain upon his shattered nerves was too great, and he had ainted.-Harpers Weekly
 TRYING TO BE GENIAL. 'so you are thinking of buying some western mining stock?"
 Yes"
 ".Caveat emptor.''
 If that's toast, I'll join you"
 HELPING HIM OUT. T once met poet who was looking for I.ethe's fabed stream"
 Why didn't you tell him that the waters of forgetfulness' could be had at the nearest bar?'
 VAIN STRATEGY. "Pickleford has had some more hard luck sri What happened this time?r
 His cook asked him to use his politi- cal influence in having her favorite po- liceman made sergeant. Pickleford did so, to please her, and as soon as he was promoted the cop eloped with the cook"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15

Governor Woodrow Wilson will spend month on the New Jersey fair circuit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15

Magnate Perkins is handing out advice of late almost as fast as Jim Hill did when he was working overtime.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15

Postal savings banks are giving old stockNgs a close run for surplus money
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15

The Lorimer' business Is the Senate's summer pastime
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15
VAIN STRATEGY.

atricai engagements. The suits were never tried.
 He hasn't forgotten it, he says; he wouldn't change anything if he had it all to do over again, for to quote the man %ho has evolved a sort of Broad way philosophy of his own: "It took me b years to learn the emptiness of bubbles and Broadway, and those 15 years I have put out at compound in terest in experience, and expect lem to work for me the rest of my life. Even broadway, as bad as it is did me a good turn when l sickened of 1t. You see Bohemia is all right if a man makes it an episode instead of the whole thing l was lucky-a hundred to one shot in tho human race. beat 1t in the nick of time. when most men would be out of commission now, and in the dregs of Broadway. l have had enough of Broad way and Bohemia to last me till king dom come. But cannot say regret any of the experience
 See these kiddies?" We'll there is noth- Ing on earth like kiddies. They make a man wake up with a start to the real value Of living. And say, you know having little girls of your own makes a man feel differently about all women. I want these three little girls of mine to grow up to know theres is only one .dxind of woman--good women"
 So interested has MT. Brown become in the egg industry that he ships and each day lets the chickens in and out of their runs. ''I went up to New York for three days last week and b,y Jo,,a I wanted to get back next day. thought Of that egg-paclSing and I hateds to leave 1t to anyone else to do and, besides. these kiddies and wife seemed a long way off l was mighty glad to get back l home"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15

On sNurday last the roller towel be- came iileSal as well as vile fin Chicago
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15

What's Hecuba 10. him, he to He- cuba, That he should weep for her.
 Hamlet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15
SIGNIFICANT.

 "In moving picture I saw a pugil;st feed chickens and water flowers while training for fight Well! welll How extraordinary for a pugilist to engage in such gentle mr. suits" 'The same thought occurred to me. and while I don't know whether there was any connection between the two circum- stances or not. later on in the picture I saw that fellow get knocked out
 GLAD TIDINGS.
 There'll be more room
 in city flats;
 The autumn girl
 Will wear no rats"
 AMONG THE MANY. "Is Plunl1er what you would call an average man?" "Yes. He's seldom out of debt
 DECEPTIVE. He has little bald spot, But combs his hair so well. Exactly where his hair is not Forsooth, you couldn't tell.
 Birmingham Age Herald. She hasn't any bald spot Among her tresses brown: But uses hair enough, we wot, For all the spots in town.
 Youngstown Telegram
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15

HELPING HIM OUT T once met poet who was looking for z Iethe's fabled stream'
 Why didn't you tell him that the waters of forgetfulness' could be had at the nearest barr" -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15
AMONG THE MANY.

"Is Plunker what you would call an average man?" "Yes. He's seldom out of debt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15
rEIEpunNHS

Bell (privstc exchange connecting all departmental, No. 1900.
 PeopIes-EditOrial rooms, 231t busi- ness office, 230.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15

GLAD TIDINGS. There'll be more room in city flats; The autumn girl Will wear no rats"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-15

TRYING TO BE GENIAL. E "so you are thinking of buying some western mining stock?'' "Yes" < "+caveat emptor''
 If that's a toast, I'll join you"
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23
SUMMONS.
Leading stationers

N THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE
Il Fifth Judicial District of the State
Nye.
Nevada, in and for the County of Nye.
William b. Milliken, Plaintiff, versus
The Bullfrog-Victor Mining Com
pany, a Corporation, Defendant.
Action brought in the District Court
OF the Fifth Judicial District of the
State of Nevada in and for the Coun-
ty Of Nye. and the complaint filed in
said County Of Nye, in the office Of
the Clerk of said District Court.
The State of Nevada sends greeting
to The Bullfrog--V Victor Mining Com
pany, a corporation, Defendant
You are hereby required to appear
IN an action brought against you by
the above-named Plaintiff in the Dis
trict Court of the Fifth Judicial Dis
trict of the State of Nevada, in and
for the County of Nye, and to answer
the Complaint filed therein, within ten
days exclusive of the day of service)
after the service OH you of this Sum-
mons, If served within this county; or,
II served out Of this county. but in
erwise, within forty days; or judg-
ment by default will be taken against
you, according to the prayer of said
Complaint. certified copy of which
Is herewith served upon you.
The said action is brought to recoy-
er judgment against said defendant
for the sum of $2,972.0O and interest
for money advanced and loaned to
said defendant and for services rem
dered, as follows. towit: On April
~, 1907, for the sum of $138.1O, mon
ey loaned; on April 29, 1907, the sum
OF $4,000 for money loaned; current
expenses, S30.55; from November i.
1906, to May 80, 1907, for services
rendered as manager and superin~
tendent, at $4,000 per month.
$4,000; for annual labor, 1908, the
sum OF 100000 expended for the said
defendant, and $4,000 services rem
dered; for money advanced and loaned
december, 1909, $4,000.
Ana you are further notified that If
you fail to appear and answer said
Complaint, as above required. said
pIaintin will take. judgment against
you Tor the sum of $2,972.O0 with in
terest on $1972.0O from May 3Oth.
dyOl, and upon 100000 from December
alst; 1907, and upon $4,000 from De-
cemDer Slst, 1909, and costs of this.
Given under my hand and the Seal,
OF the District Court Of the Fifth
JUDICIAL District of the State OF Me-
vada, in and for the County az Nva
TINS 10Th day of March in the Year az
Our Lord One Thousand Nine HIN
dred and Ten.
,sa.,, ROBERT g. roHL. clerk.
BY LOWELL DANIELS. Deputy clerk
Az-z4-Sl; l-7-14-21-28: pa
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

during which he visited San Fran
cisco and Sacramento.
T. R. Rogers has returned to his
home at Manhattan after a months
stay in Tonopah in charge Of the
undertaking parlors.
Mrs. w. E. o'Connell and daugh-
ter Agnes, and Matthew Gallagher,
left on this mornings train for San
Francisco, after attending the funer-
al Of their mother, Mrs. Thos Cal
lagher. here. Mr.. and Mrs. James
Gallagher will remain in Tonopah a
few days longer, the guests of Mr..
and Mrs. w. ]. Wilson, before leav-
ing for Frisco.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23
PERSONAL MENTION
/. Priest is in town from Man

}. V. Priest is in town from Man
haitian.
John Gianotti returned today from
trip to Sacramento.
Mrs. w. S. Johnson of Manhattan
is registered at the Mizpah.
Attorney Morris left by auto for
Manhattan today on business.
Mrs. John Clark is up from Mil
lers today on visit to friends.
Billy Walker was a visitor to
Millers today on official business.
Charles w. Morse of Round
Mountain is Tonopah visitor to-
day.
H. H, Atkinson and wife returned
today from visit in San Fran
cisco.
w. w. Keith. general agent of
the 7. & G. at Goldfield, is in
town today.
EiASSI ". Linuner, representing
the Mergenthaler Linotype company,
is in the city.
G. ]. Kinney and j. L. Spellman
OF San Francisco are registered at
the Mizpah.
Deputy Sheriff Slaven left on to-
days noon train for Goldfleld ON
official business.
]. A. Moyihan and N. j. Nielsen
of Sacramento have their names on
the Mizpat register.
Matt Redington, manager for
Aylesworth at Goldfeld, was a
Tonopah visitor today.
Bishop Morse has returned from
months trip to California points.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

Back in Ohio they are prosecuting the voters
of one county (Adams) in patches OF hundred
at "a time for indulging in the practice of sell
ing their votes on election day The voters
have been doing this, it seems, since way back
in S7, until the traffic in votes has come to be
regarded as legitimate as selling hogs, corn, or
any Of the other staple products OF the farm.
The man who secured the highest price Tor
his vote was the envied of his neighbors 1t
is estimated that as result Of the present
prosecutions over 1000 voters of the county will
be dsfrancised.
Vote-buying and vote-selling are not new in
dlstries in the United States-far from it. They
are more or less a feature of every election, di-
rectly or indirectly. What renders this Ohio
case so remarkable is that in this particular
locality the civic conscience should have become
SO deadened and so calloused that the traffic
came to be regarded as legitimate. man,
they took it, had as much right to dispose of
his vote on election day as he had to sell
load Of hay And for almost a quarter OF a.
century the provident Adams county rustics
had been realizing something from their ex-
ercise Of the suffrage-not great sum at any
one time it is true, but it was all clear gain,
the prudent rural voter figured
The really surprising thing about the whole
matter is that it took all these years for a
prosecution to develop. The voteselling has
been going on since 87, as we say, and in all
these years there developed no single con-
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23
Production Gross. J
Total &41.es5,OOO s24,s6s,5s1.17

Total $3.50. $41,6S5,OOO $24,96S55l.lI
The figures bear ont what practical mining
men have been asserting is the simple truth as
regards the industry in this state--that never
in its history has it been either as productive
or permanent a basis at present. The most
significant feature Of today's development, too,
is that hundreds of small properties potential
ly the great ones of the future) being
worked over the state with milling runs OF
few hundred tons at time. The aggregate OF
the production of these smaller properties is
great and will grow greater from year to year.
Many properties which, ten years from now, will
be reckoned among the principal producers OF
the state are now being worked by force OF
a half dozen men.
AS gratifying to the mining man as the fig
ures Of the concrete production for the past
year is the moral Influence this showing will
exert in Eastern investment centers The feel
ing of uncertitude that prevailed concerning In
vestment in mining properties in this state must
be dissipated in the face of such showing as
this, coupled with the fact that in 1910 holders
Of stock in Nevada mines drew down eleven
and "a half million dollars in dividends And
this dividend showing will improve year by year.
And in direct proportion to its Improvement
should it become easier to raise money for the
development of legitimate mining prospects.
Altogether the outlook for the mining in.
dustry Of Nevada is bright and hopeful The
wildcat era has passed. The man back East
who today demands ''to be shown" need fear
no disappointment we have the goods to submit
to his inspection.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23
NOTICE OF STOCKHOLDERS
MEETING.

Notice is hereby given that a
special meeting of the stockholders
OF the West End Consolidated Ex-
tension Mining company, formerly
the Tonopah Pactolus Mining COM
pany, will be held at room 800 Of
the building Of the State Bank and
Frust company. Tonopah, Nevada,
on Tuesday, February Z, at S D.
M, 1911, for the purpose Of con-
sidering Of plan of consolidation
with neighboring properties. cleo
ton Of officers to I'LL out the board
OF directors, settlement Of certain
obligations Of the company, and for
such other purposes as may con-
Germ the welfare Of the company.
L. L. BLUMENTHAL.
Secretary.
MARK r. AvERIIL,
President.
lift
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

This Mexican revolution is not a-dying as
fast as some people predicted when it begun
On the contrary, it is making quite respectable
showing in the two border states Of chihuahua
and Sonora, and every day that the insarrecton
is prolonged will make it just that much harder
for the federal government to stamp it out. In
fact, it is possible that if the insurreetos can
maintain themselves for time longer they may
inspire enough confidence among the disaffected
in the southern states of the republic for them
to declare themselves The instruction has
thousands of sympathizers in the republic who
are waiting to see just how much strength it
can develop before they show their hand Once
they make up their minds the movement has a
chance to win, they will declare Themselves
and then the revolution is on in earnest. An
American who has never travelled over the
public will find it difficult to understand the sit
uation, but there is no doubt whatever of the
one acknowledgement disaffection with the gov
eminent of Diaz.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

The result of the prosecution of Patrick by
the government for illegal use of the mails was
simply what was expected "a hung jury So
long as man in this country has money enough
to buy juryman or two, and is slick enough to
know how to go about the job, conviction is
almost impossible The obduracy of one single
man of jury will render nugatory all the ex
pensive proceedings of prosecution. The outcome
Of this simply goes to prove the pressing
necessity of radical amendment of our present
jury system One reform Of it urgently de-
handed is the substitution of majority vote
for unanimous one in the finding of a verdict
Chance the law so that three-fourths of the jury
will be sufficient for conviction in criminal cases.
and we will not hear so much of hung juries
Here is one thing the present Legislature can
well afford to take in hand.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23
A Wonderful Showing.

The official figures the bullion production
of Nevada for the past year read like chapter
from the golden literature of the Comstock
days. And all the more remarkable from the
wonderful increase made ir the twelve months,
last years production being $41,685,00O as
against 24,969,OOO for the previous year-lack-
ing not great deal Of being almost double.
The figures on the output for the two Years
is as follows:
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

science acute enough to actively prosecute the
offenders
It is strange chapter in American politics
We rather pride ourselves, despite occasional
crimes against suffrage, that on the whole Amer
lean elections-at least outside the largest cities
have been measurably free from corruption
But the Adams county incident would go to
show that the rural voter may become tainted
as well as his prototype in the cities
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

The advantage of the Panama route to the
fruit industry of Southern California has been
well demonstrated in test shipment of oranges
from San Bernardino to New York by way of
the Isthmus. The fruit arrived at it's destination
in good shape and the time made was about as
good as that of the transcontnental railroads
OF course, this test was not fair one to the
Isthmus route in some respects, since the trans
shipment at tdewater on both sides of the
Isthmus required time that will not se lost when
the waterway is finished. The building of the
Isthmian canal is worth many thousands year
to the fruit-growers of the west coast and
they will not be slow to appreciate its value.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23
WESTERN PACIFIC is
TRANSFERRING PASSENGERS

OGDEN, Utah, Jan. 2S.-The
Western Pacific railroad continues
to transfer its west-bound freight
and passenger traffic to the South
ern Pacific at Elko, Nevada, owing
to the snow blockade in the Sierra
Nevada mountains.
Rotary snowplows and shovels
have been bucking the drifts since
January 18th, but have made little
Roadway. The storms of the past
two days have added to the diff
ficulty Of operating the line.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

Some Of that 100000 tied up in the Nye
and Ormsby bank would go long way toward
advertising the county and its resources. The
county needs the advertising, and the commits
sioners are authorized by law to use money
for the purpose, but until the money deposited
in that rotten bank is recovered it is idle to
discuss it.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

1t is all right for Nebraskans who live in
this beautiful climate to tender reception to
visitors from their native state, but nothing
should be done which has the appearance Of
rubbing it in.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23
Stuck MARKET

The following quoaetions were
furnished the Bonanza by H. E.
Epstine. broker:
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

HOMINY, Okla, Jan. 2S.-Fol-
lowing the posting of notices, threat
ening all negroes if they did not
quit the town." the last of $50
negroes left Hominy early Sunday
morning. Explosions heard in vari-
GUS parts of the town within the
last ten days increased the negroes
alarm.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

New York's board of health wants to know what
to do with nine tons of bad eggs It hassezed. Good
landl not the Broadway theaters running there?
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

The deadlock in half dozen states this win
ter over the election Of United States senator
makes a strong argument for their election by
the people direct
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

And now we are assured that Venus is inhabit-
ed. Won't somebody up that way please wlg-wag
the price Of bacon?
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

HIGHEST CASH PRICE paid for
household furniture. Phone 1874.
w. o. Dresser. 1O-s-tf
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23
CLASSIFIED ADS.

Advertisements In this Column are
10 cents ser line, each insertion
Five words TO the line.
e-.ees-e~esesNNNe~-e
TO RENT-A piano. Inquire Jew
ellis Cash store,
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

FOR sALE-One new two-horse
power Wagner sO-cycls. single
phase. electric motor: starter and
fixtures complete. Address b..
Bonanza once.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

FOR SALE " ton Champion
wagon scales. Address p. o. Box
4Ss, Goldfield. Nevada. 1-21-St
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

FOR RENT u.s. Groom furnished
houses, Summit street Apply
West End Consolidated Mining
Company. 1921
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

sTRAYED-From Millers, brindle
bull terrier, tail and ears cropped,
white neck; name plate on collar.
W. E. Greene, Millers, New
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-01-23

An Indian maiden named Daisy Mills, 18
years of age, employed as cook in Los
Angeles home, has achieved some measure of
local fame in the city in rather novel man
ner Daisy Is employer, firing Of her after two
refused to be dismissed, and the argument with
which she backed up her refusal was so strenu-
GUS that it required the services of four police
men to remove the lady. 1t is not stated just
how Daisy fell into poor repute with her en-
plOyer, but in a country where steady service
is not of the recommendations of the aver
age kitchen mechanic, Daisy ought to be re-
garded as jewel. Anyway this Indian maid
has raised. an interesting question in the ethics
of service. Has an employer the right to dis
charge one who doesn' want to be discharged?
The United States senate must be having
hard time Of it these days trying to maintain
its dignity and prestige in the face of the fact
that of its members owe their seats to
shameful and barefaced corruption and bribery
Notably in the case of Mr. Lorimer of Illinois,
to unseat whom a vigorous fight is to be made
ture Of his state investigated the charges Of
bribery, it was shown, on the testimony Of some
thing like dozen of the recipients of the bride
money, that they had been paid all the way
from $4,000 to $4,000 for their votes. The evil
dence sustaining the charges was simply over
whelming Under the circumstances, therefore,
IT is difficult to see where the senate has more
than one course left open-his election. The
manner of his election is stencil in the nostrils
of decent people