davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

lie does not discard the old ways, he does
not allow any new invention to escape
him. An instance of this is shown in
the young fellow, too bashful to propose
in person. who asked the young lady to
marry him through the medium of the
wax cylinder of a phonograph. The girl
was not impressed with the idea of say
ing Yes to photograph. and wrote
the sutton note TO the effect that IF he
hadn't courage enough to come over and
say what he had to say. she'd be jggered
II she was going to be kissed and Rugged
by photograph if she never got a
chance to say Yes - He went.
\ travelling salesman, having been smit-
ten sorely in the heart by fair Chicago
damsel. could not wait for slow mails,
50 called her on the lOng-distance phone
SO sudden and why, 1 guess So and
Yes, 1 will \ week later. in the same
case, the salesman again used the long
distance. this time all the way from New
Orleans to Chicago. to fix the wedding
day.
In a little town i'm New York young
woman who combined beauty and wealth.
promised to marry that one of her two
SuitorS who would attend church, Sunday
school and prayer meeting services most
frequently during the ensuing year. Both
went to all the services they could find.
and one of them. it is said near the end
of the year, when he believed he was
about to lose the fair prize, offered a min
he would work in a couple of extra serv-
ices during the week. At the end OF the
Year one young mans account showed he
had attended :if6 services; the others that
he had been present a 34i.
For nearly ten years now the girls or
the little Belgian town of Ecaussinnes-
Lalang have conducted once a year, about
Easter time, a sort of public matrimonial
bureau or matrimonial lunch,' as 1t is
often called. Bachelors from any part
of the world, hardened or not, may go to
Ecaussinnes Easter Monday, sign the
golden book placed there for the purpose
and then enter the hall where the lunch
is served and meet the young women who
have opened their hearts, as 1t were, to
the world. Previous to 1902, when this
custom began, a girls chance to get mar
ried in this small village Was about one
in five, owing to the fact that so many OF
the eligible bachelors emigrated or mar
ried abroad. Needless to add that the
girls chances have increased many times.
CIetna Greens are scattered all over
the gloDe. and many are the lovers ways
leading thereto. Frequently the road is
beset by thorns of one sort or another
in the shape of a fast-pursuing parent, e
brother of the bride or what not. Not all
of the scurrying lovers are as lucky as
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01
THE MAGAZINE EDITOR AND HIS WORK

ines, grovelings and SO on. maybe 1 shall
have the pictures for my Christmas sto-
ries on my desk by the time the 1911 dog
days ooze around. BY that time the
photographers will be refusing any more
Christmas orders, and I'll have to do
everything but ask the governor to call
ont the National Guard to get the pictures,
for my measly Christmas stories put
into shape for publication"
The telephone bell ON the magazine
editors desk rang. The editor talked agi-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01
Best Be Plain.
wyEEDON GROSSMITH, at dinner i

WIEEDON GROSSMlIH' at dinner IN
w New York, praised America.
"And I like American art he said
"the art Of your magazines and news
papers and novels and pictures. It's a
direct art It can't be misunderstood.
"Directness, plainness, is always best.
1 now write a direct. plain hand, but 1
used to write confused one. all -four
ishes and curls, and a result I often
got in trouble.
For example, a friend of mine sent
me, by way CT Christmas card, photo
graph of his wife and five beautiful
children. / wrote to the wife in acknowl-
edgment of this charming picture.
told her POLITICALLY that she looked like
a beautiful rose tree-she being the tree,
you know, and her children the roses.
But my wretched, confused hand
spoiled everything, and the next day my
friend demanded Indignantly over the teIe-
phone:
'Grossmith, what the deuce do YOU
mean by writing to my wife and telling
her she looks like a 'dutiful rooster p -
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

your modern ma ga zine editor But THIS
magazine editors task possessed, Tor me
Al least, the pith of humOr.
TIc was plungiug dismally through
stack of about two hundred Christmas
stories, trying 10 find a couple that would
pass. Yes. you have guessed correctly
the very first time. Christmas stories for
Chrit,ras, 1911. Now, ] often had seen
magazine editors, broiling in their Offices
on torrid July afternoons, tackling the
Christmas story problem for their publ
cations; but this editor, tackling that
problem whole year in advance. struck
mo as being the very monitor of fore
handedness Wherefore. | laughed with
the raucous derisiveness of the casual
visitor at any busy publication office, and
the editor endured the laugh patiently
However. he inquired as to the nature
of the joke. / diagrammed ii.
49,;
Well its no joke for me, if / am not
placing too great tax on your creduii-
w" said the magazine editor. THE ac-
tuaI elapsed time between one Christmas
and another generally seems TO me To
consist of about twenty minutes. Per-
sonaly. 1 don't believe. in Christmas
stories. There is only one kind of n
Christmas story, just there were. or
are only three original or basic jokes
and that one Christmas story has been
tod more often than there are statute
miles between here and the giant star
Capella; the giant star being, as you In
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

America, but Hon. Prof made il fit %
live in. \ German living in Jersey
City will learn how to get house and
lot without paying for it. Like most
other geniuses, he will have to go to
Jail. because he is too smart.
Ed CATION-Walter Camp will at
tend 10 this in his new book entitled
Football for 1911
will arrive from
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

Southern clinlate?' he require.
No intelligent thoughts from US Hon.
Moore turn his telescope at direction G.
Ma inc.
Deep Republican frosts still preside
there" he nudge. This extends to N.
y. State. but is stopped by Pennsylva-
mia, which is too solid TO freeze"
'Hon. Moore collapse me & Nosi
with assembled voices, 1--WE has been
sent hitherward to discover with you
about the Future. You are hired by l..
S. Govt to do Prophet work. BY looking
at the Pacific Ocean you can see Spring
coming before it arrive. You can tell
how the wind will blow in March by
merely smelling the clouds. You have
remarkabilious brain. You can tell how
weather will be Fair but Rainy months
ahead and if it do not happen like you
say, you can give reasons why it didn't.
Everything what is going to happen you
have got down in your Chart. Therefore,
you must have considerable excited news
about this year 1911 which is so soon to
be shot off,
Hon. Moore look at me osteopa-
thically.
You wish to know everything what will
happen in 1912 he require.
'1f convenient, please" otter.
Nothing would be easier,'' snuggest
Hon. Willis. by my complete kit OF
scientific tools I am enabled to locate
future Trouble by geometric palmestry''
Hon. Moore pull down from shelf one
enormalous book of Census appearance.
1t was marked distinctually BOOK OF,
PROPHECIES, 1911"
a*
'"Ths approac ching Year he commence
making mysterious fireworks with his
eyes, this approaching year will be born
under Capricorn, the Goat, and Cancer,
the Lobster. This means that High Cost
or Living will be reduced. but everything
Will cost just the same as ever. The
Goat will cause. considerable butting III
during all political caucuses. The Lob
ster will cause considerable specuations
i'll oil stocks and increased faith in the
Tariff to lead the Republican Party out
of the woods.
by observing through telescope I mo-
tice that Halley's Comet is in contact
with Venus. This means that Afi1nities,
Salome, Russian Dances, and Sue Falls
will be fashionable some more. However,
many children will DO born. There will
be considerable suicide and other forms
of aeroplaning There will be consider
able gunpowder, Bibles. poetry. soda
mint tablets. cigarettes and antique fur
niture manufactured all over the world.
John Redmond will be made Premier Of
England and Belfast will be the capital
of the British Isles.
among other reliable Public Events to
collapse will be following:
'TRAVEL-Theodore Roosevelt will not
visit Africa this year. Nothing more
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01


has ever known, would look like
~ the Washington monument over
towering a lamppost. Despite the
fact that man has been marrying and
giving in marriage" for the past-well, at
least, some six thousand years-the in
genious little god of love every day of
his busy career discloses some new way
in which to accomplish his purposes
And he was especially active during the
past year.
A blind man recently found a wife by
advertising for a helpmate and then get
ting a jury of his friends to pass OH the
looks of the applicants.
Not often is bid made for four ''bet-
ter halves at the same time, as was
done by South Dakota farmer, who re-
Gently inserted a notice i'm a paper for
hired men, adding that he had four
daughters who were eligible for maria ge
if the men could win their hearts Two
weddings occurred in that farmhouse
soon after and it was said that there
might be two more in the near future
X y
Advertisers do not often ask for as
many good qualifications as did the Ger
man prince, younger son, who, 'in Or
der to maintain state in conformity
with his rank advertised for wife
with mot less than 100000 marks, l.
100000 of which must be in ready cash."
and in addition demanded that any of the
would-be brides unjust have d profoundly
sensitive soul and warm heart, to be
artistic and a lover of nature
But the press is only one of a thousand
and one ways in which Cupid has set the
silver chimes ringing to mock the rau-
cous cries of mo Wedding Bells for Me-
One of his whimsical ways has been to
have girl in a thread factory place her
name and address in box of thread,
where it is discovered by some ''yearning
SWAIN who Immediately writes to Dear
Mabel" after which they communicate
with each other for a year or so with
comic post cards, letters and few pres
ents, and have their jollification end in a
honeymoon. The farmers daughter writes
her name on All egg and this matches
into matrimony.
Accidents are often made vehicles of
happiness by Cupid. A young man is
injured in street car smaSh-up, is car
ried to a nearby house, nursed by the
daughter. and they start life together on
the loss of an arm. \ travelling sales
man. driving through the country, runs
down a black-eyed miss, carries her
home, and on his return trip two weeks
later carries her off to the parsons
house.
These Incidents, as well as those which
follow, are from Cupid's newspaper clip
complete list Of these clippings would fill
a large volume.
Right up to the minute on methods is
the enterprising young love god. While
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

tatedly for a minute through the trans
mitter.
Excuse me" he said. with a wan counte-
nance, as he hung up the receiver. There's
hitch down at the lithOgrapher's
over the getting out of my illustrations
for our 1911 Thanksgiving number, and
Ill have to trot down there to fix 1t up"
TN other lines besides the making of
! magazines the wary ones arc required
to keep a full year and sometimes more
ahead Of the calendar. For example, I
know a writer who recently informed his
publisher that he would have a novel
ready Tor publication in the fall Of 1911.
Better make it the spring Of 1912"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

gone to the wall in New York and Lon
don. Their bankruptcy is a concrete
illustration of the case. They had put
their capital into the manufacture OF
hundreds of thousands of silk petticoats.
Then the women who wear hobble skirts
found that they couldn't wear silk petit
coats with the freak garments, and SO
they stopped buying silk petticoats The
enormous stocks of silk petticoats We're
rendered virtually valueless, and the
manufacturers thereof were unable to
meet their obligations.
X
@NE easily recalls the SNUG eXclanla-
~ tions OF horror that were exuded by
a conventional world when the first Wom-
an to ride astrde appeared in a city
park. The other afternoon l counted
pat hundred women riding in Central
Park. Eighty-seven of them were riding
astride: the remaining thirteen rode so
poorly and joltingly that it looked as if it
would be a positive mercy to themselves
If they We're riding astrde. Moreover, the
astride riders attracted less attention than
the side-saddlers; showing that the sensi-
bile method has become SO much the
vogue as to be accepted as the regular
thing. Even the riding academies of New
York have surrendered to the astride
idea.
For years women who wanted to learn
to ride aStride at the academies were
met with a positive refusal of such in
struction; the academies pontedly de-
clined to teach women to ride in that
'unwomanly'' way. But they're teach
ing women to ride astride now: for the
very pointed reason that if they did not
so teach them they would have few or
no pupils. The simple fact of the matter
is that women have made up their minds
that they're going to ride astride; and
that's all that needs to be said on the
subject They're riding astride, they ride
better and more comfortably that way,
they look better, the horse likes it better,
there is less danger in that kind of riding,
the park mounted cops have hardly any
woman riders of runaway horses to look
after, and, in brief, common sense has
triumphed and the world Swims in rose.
CLARENCE l.. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01
[E LOBSTER
MCMMIES."

will be able TO carry lawyers with them
on all trips, SO that patent suits can be
ness.
-SCIENCE-An Italian Professor will in
be greater than Chris Columbus, be-
cause Hon. Chris merely discovered
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

Il -
dropping i'll upon
a magazine editor
who is not too
Buddha-like to bar
out visitors who
knew him when he
was a police re-
porter. I found him
profoundly I'M
mersed. Profound
immersion is no
abnormal state for
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

Paris in their usual astonished condi
like holsters, BARRIERS poles. taffy and
Egyptian mummies. Husbands. when
they see these styles, will report How
foolish. Then they will peev at their
wives if they don't get some like
them.''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

limousine balloon distinctuailv labelled
WEATHER IIEADQUARTERS
VISITORS WELCOME,
We make knockknock to door.
"Come inwards.'' say voice full of
science.
We enter to interior of balloon, and
there we seen, setting at tall oak desk,
surrounded by maps of Mars, Kansas
and the Mississippi River, a medium size
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

voyant, please" say me & Nosi TO Jani-
tor.
Names, if any depose Hon. Jan.
proach.
''Hon. Moore is always willing to inter-
view japanese Detectives confuse him.
Ascend upwards miles and knock .
times at door of balloon
We do SO with considerable climb.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

expression. Like all Republicans, Hon.
leverage have considerable time to think
Of literature and other sports.
] make no intelligent answer to his
reply.
Fate" he say, ''act very flimsical and
skittenish jumping elsewhere when yo1
think he would not do so. Man is but
Il feeble puppy in the hands of Circunl-
stance. He beholts what will happen
and o See. it is something else. What
is Fortune? II is the wind what tickles
sweet flowers today, but tomorrow he
Jumps on aviation meets and makes hi
plane too reck ess. 1t Is the rain what
irrisates happy farmer, yet postpones
angry base ball. 1t is the snow what
makes joyful sled for schoolboy, but I'M
happy slip for politician. Fate is like the
weather. il collapses when it fees like.
Who can read the Future?'
Maybe Hon. Willis Moore, Chief
Weather Bureau Clarvoyant, can do So"
l snuggest.
Hon. Alb think thoughtfully for a mo-
mentary second
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

special Core sponjencc Of The Star.
NEW YORK, December 81, 1910.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

no can tell what
,Grcat Events VIII
explode in year
1917"
1t was Hon. AL
burt Beverage who
b e $ p o k e thusly,
while he was sett-
ing in Hotel Astoria
drinking sassparilla-
ale with Left Over
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

When we had arrived l miles in heavenly
highness Hon. Moore begin letting out
more we walked the less we got there.
Yet who can discourage a Samurai de-
tective? Answer is, Nothing. With in
tensified toes we continue climb-up, till
pretty soonly we arrive to a beautiful
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

Togo" he sub with voice. while WHIP
ing a tear from his cuff, Il should so
nuchly like TO know what will happen
t. year 1911, Togo, kindly to go to
Washington and dishcoyer this Weather
Signal Man. Ask him to read the Fu-
ture> to jan i. 1912, and receive the en-
tire thanks Of everybody from Charles
F. Murphy down to Theodore Roosevelt"
With specchless affection 1 twisted his
hand and depart off 1 shall find this
Moore man and compel him to explain
everything.
1t was exact midnight, 1910. Me 6
Nogi. dishguised TO look like Cold Waves.
arrived to Weather Bureau Office. Wash,
H. G. This Office is situated in the base
ment entrance OF a balloon attached by
rope ladder to Washington Monument.
When Hon. Moore wish to become more
approximate to Hon. Moon, he lengtheri
out rope ladder so to extend 10000 feet
I'm altitude Here he sets writing wealth
or reports Friends what wish for TO
SEQ him must give caIl-cards TO Janitoc
who remains upon the earthly ground
hosting & lowering that peculiar gas
Office.
We wish see Hon. Weather Glar-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

your opacity cannot be supposed to know,
"A few feet over and above three trilliol
miles from where i am now sitting. IL
j had my Way-Wilich no magazine Gu
itor ever has or will have-Id never run
a Christmas story in my magazine; Ia
run il Gown to the basement or crypt III
the front elevator. and have it inferred
decently there, without mound or memo
rial.
But since they will have Christmas
stories--by they l mean the folks with
silvern metal in their hands, who pur-
chase magaZines-why. 1t is part OF
my occupation to provide EN-; and that
being the case, it is also a part of my
task to provide 'em in, or on, time. \
year ahead of time is none TOO soon l
picked out my Christmas stories Tor TINS
years Christmas in February last: then
/ came perilously close to having no
Christmas stories.
ASK the illustrators why. Illustrators
dearly love to plant gray around the tenn
pies OF editors by doing the pictures for
Christmas stories at the last possible tick
OF the second hand on the face OF the
dial. Illustrators have. no sense of time
They have SO far eradicated one phase
of the artistic temperament that they
TOW have the finest imaginable money
sense: even the meticulousest money
sense, SO to speak. They desire to be paid
on the instant, Greenwich time, or even
a little bit inStanter: but in the matter of
delivering ordered work, and particularly
pictures for Christmas stories, their Ill
trinity IS marked and maddening. The
Christmas stories that so into my maya
zine are illustrated by colOred pictures
which require paintings of the illustrators
The only feasible way To get any good,
busy illustrator To deliver the pictures
for a Christmas story Oh time is TO have
him arrested on trumped-up charge
and then refuse to 80 his bail until
he completes the Christmas pictures in
his cell
by nightfali, mayhap, / shall have
picked out two Christmas stories from
this heap that'll suit me; similarly, by
nightfall | shall have sent these two
stories through the mails to the illus
traitors, with fiery, unframed letters OF
transmittal, demanding that the illustrat-
ors have the pictures for the stories on
my desk by February the 10Th at the
very latest, and then, after implorations,
beseechments, threats, knocks caterwaul-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

Astrology Professor. Every occasional
moment he would point a thermometer
of the weather.
Il see delicious storm in Mexico" he
Suggest.
perhaps it is only a riot I repose.
"Who knows what will be next in that
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

they will be out of fashion before they
are butt. a war will be expected with
Japan, as usual.
'WOMAN'S ENTERTAINMENTS place
will be in the home same as ever. But
vote, run for office, ETC., without
neglecting the baby.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

Copyright, 1910, by the Associated Literary
Press.b
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

- CPID'S imagination, if placed by
the side of any other the world
has ever known, would look like
~ the Washington monument over
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-01

To Editor Sunday Star, who would not Be
III News Printing Business if he knew
what was going TO happen Next.
Hoar Sir
Graham guardian. [volume] (Safford, Ariz.) 1895-1923, 1911-09-15
NED USHER

There is. perhaps, no young
man in Graham county better known
than Ned Usher, of Solomonville.
He has announced himself as a can
didate for sheriff, subject to a ma.
jority vote of the republicans at the
primary election. Mr.. Usher is at
present the under sheriff Of the
county, and previous to his apppint-
ment as under sheriff, was deputy
sheriff for three years. This ex-
perience gives him a splendid idea
as to the duties of the sheriff's
Office, and we do not know of a
man whom the republicans could
nominate, better qualified to fill
the position. than Ned Usher.
Graham guardian. [volume] (Safford, Ariz.) 1895-1923, 1911-09-15
z. c. PRINA

z. C. Prina, of Stafford, who has
served the people of Graham county
during the past three years as a
member Of the board of supervisors,
has announced himself in today's
GUARDIAN as a candidate for the
same Office, subject to the will of
the democrats at the primary cleo
ton. Mr.. Prina's qualifications ms
a supervisor are too we'll known to
need comment. That he has proven
himself to be one of the best super
visors Graham county has ever had
is sufficient reason why he should
be elected. He is a democrat from
principle and is always found work
ing for democratic nominees.