The labor journal. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1909-1976, 1911-01-27

ana tne proud 'ClJy OF Destiny owns TINS
original citizen as oen of its best bets
Nowhere does T. V. shine quite so bril-
liantly as when presiding as toastmastel
at the annual banquet of the State
Federation of Labor. These annual fes-
tive occasions are a joy and delight to
T. V. and woe befall the guest at the
banquet board who sits enwrapped in.
the mantle of dignity. In the vernacu-
lar, "he gets his" AT the banquet ten
dered the convention by our neighbors
of Olympia T. V. presided and his witty
and original introductions are worthy
of reproduction. Defying the wrath OF
the gentleman from Tacoma we give
them to the world herewith:
Ladies and Gentlemen:
1t gives me great pleasure. bereft OF
fringe and frills, to preside at this ban
quet. 1t affords me an opportunity to
even up matters with various individu.
ais who have made life somewhat bur
densome for me during the convention
The immortal bard has put it aptly:
''Time at last sets all things even,
For if you do but wait the hour,
There never yet was mortal power
That could evade, if unforgiven,
The patient watch and virgil long
OF him who treasures up a wrong"
1t is to be hoped that your toastmas-
ter will not be taken seriously. The
speakers are hereby warned they must
assigned them, and violation of this
warning will bring down upon them the
condemnation they so richly deserve.
Your toastmaster has been under a
great mental strain for several days Sc
lecting speakers and suitable subjects
for your entertainment, and returns his
hearty thanks to the many friends who
have come forward and graciously ten
dered their good offices to make this
friends have, in several instances, Sc
lected the subjects with which they are
most familiar, and has relieved the
strain beneath my hat band, making
this trying position one of extreme joy.
Our first speaker needs no introduc.
tion. He has assured me that his sub
ject has been selected with care, and
| is one that has given him grave concern
for many years. He says that while
| jtnots hive been consumed, sleepless
nights encountered and at this time he
is ready to give to the world his form
ula. Ladies and gentlemen, we will
now listen to Governor Hays patent
applied for dissertation on "The Millen-
ium."
The American Federation of Labor
convention at st. Louis-some of the
things l saw-and many am frantical-
ly endeavoring to forget. The speaker
has requested to be permitted to sing
touching little ballad entitled 'It's Your
Turn to Buy" l submit it to you for
your guidance-Charles R. Case, presi-
dent Washington State Federation of
Labor.
Olympia is the first city that it has
been my pleasure to visit where some
of the people keep their back doors
locked to keep others from stealing the
water, and l am going to call on Mayor
Harris to explain to the mystifed
strangers within your gates, without
going into detail, the necessity of keep
ing your water pipes above ground pa
trolled by the police, automatic fire
alarm system and red lights, and il the
precaution is incident to the meeting
of the Federation or the legislstureY
Or both?
"Fellow Workers" by one who prefers
the call of the wild and the hum of bull
let's in dime novel to the more intel
ligent but self-satisfying art of shin
gleweaving G.. Brown.
Our next speaker is one of the mould
ers of public opinion. To no other in
dividual does the average citizen or the
general public appeal for consolation
and advice during political upheavals,
social unrest and financial crises. He
is the one man that eternally keeps his
hand on the public's pulse-and purse
and his hearty laugh brings sweet peace
to the soul in trouble. He possesses a
store of knowledge second only to
Roosevelt, and is looked upon as a pock-
ct edition of an encyclopedia and die
tionary combined. 1t is with this knowl-
edge clinging to my anatomy that con-
strains me to request him at this time
to elucidate on subject we are all more
or less interested in but unfamiliar with.
The committee responsible for this ban
auet was requested to notify some one