The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-09-29
Story Of The Man
Who Had No Use
For Automobiles

VI EutUIl1UUIlOO
There goes another of the infer
nal things" snarled the man waiting
for . car as he stamped his heels
against the curb. -
there was anything he had 1t In for II
was automobiles. Every time one
went by he would pass upon the SUBJ
5ect of automobiles in general waS
lie wore q brown mustache that cas-
caded down over his mouth. This
mustache was separated into two
branches by thick, black cigar
which the man clenched in his teeth
savageiy. He looked like mean
man and he didn't care If he did
look nhe q mean man. because he felt
mean.
Notice that?" he growled. address
ing nobody in particular. See how
tholp tenders are put on an automo-
billet They are on an angle, 30 that
al, the sn mud s,ds they throw srs,o wi jnst
ured 1t an out, 30 that q fender Is
cut on just the right angle to get az
much mud as possible on q mans
trouser legs when he's waiting on the
curb for a car. When people used
to drive buGgies and carriages they
didn't have the Tenders on at an an
gle. It wouldn't have done much
good anyhow, bocaxlge people didn't
drive ,hsrses more than fifteen or
twenty miles an hour through towns
and Drivers couldn't succeed In
splashing much mud on people. But
nov they've got It all down to such
4 me point that the automobiles
can't lose. He knows just how close
to ct 70 the curb to make sure of
a soana1 m. ;o%se1 %I.sas Clothes he sell
Thsrsl See that Teller sort OF
throw ON q nt$ae more power as he
wenk by here l. fooled him. though.
j got back on the sidewalk too far
for MIN He fss s.mf 1 dsxs near :. I Saa
get Mttls splash on this shoe though
after al, dtdh't hef oh there isn't
much use trying to dodge EN-. How
4 DO hate mo things.
wonder who was the nrst man to
little chap At his left whoever it
WAS, hope when they go to sort out
the sheep and goats that they get
hin In the right place and that some
horse-povsr drab automobile about
forty times every afternoon ! sure
DO. Why, honestly frfend--of course
i wouldn't want to see ANYBODY get
hurt a anything--but ever see
hnto q million and one pieces some
day, same A. q toy balloon. then I'll
bust about laugh myself to death,
fhAk's all. Whenever there's an auto
taccident-wheol smashed or even a
busted tireI just hang around and
mt Nhatsmatter r and fairly revel In
his troubles That's the way stand
Ton automobiles. Funny. too, about
lfheDo fellows that have en- Decent
lsort Of chaps. lots of 'em II you meet
fem On the street. car or anywhere
telse. bat the inmate they get In one
Iof these diabohcally conceived ma
ichines they lose all sense of respect
for other peoples right.
4 why, ! know = fellow
twas interrupted by somebody calling
lhis name. It WAS = friend OF his in
Ian automobile. -
want to ride out,'' asked the au-
jtomobilist friend II go within block
of hour ,n hOu, w;th s1 s.orp muztaene
ldashed out like q dog taking after
butcher wagon and demonstrated the
Igeometrical propositions about the
lshortest distance between two points.
HE bounded into the front seat where
Inc could watch out and keep tab on
things along their right Of way. Don't
care II do" he assented. Been wait
ling for q car there for about forty
minutes, it seems to me. Car ser
tvice sure Is something approximating
the limit" 1
The auto was under full statutory
limited speed again.
| Look at that fellow dodge" laugh.
led the man with the brown mustache.
IssWanted the whole crossing to him
lself, didn't he? That's right toot
1.-THE horn and see 'em Jump out of q
tseven years growth. Does beat all
what a lot Of lunkheads there are
walking about town. They'll stop
fright in the middle of the crossing
land look at you like castor oil bot
tile. Don't know enough to go straight
tahead and let you steer around 'em.
TOT course q fellow doesn't like to see
anybody get q broken leg or any
thing. but honestly 1t would serve
tsome of 'em right if they did get hit
Iby good big. husky auto Then
they'd know how to act next time.
| Say, this thing certainly does move
ialong in great shape. Just like slid
ling along on q big ribbon.
well, well, here we are pretty
NEARLY home already. 4Better'n street
fears, isn't it? If there's anything 1
thate it's to sit in street car with a
Hot of silly-1ooking old women glarin'
lat me and whispering mean things
labout me among themselves because
II don't give up my seat or pickin'
flaws in my necktie. 'Tisn't often,
Though, that get a seat