The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-04
IN LIGHTER VEIN
By ETHEL ARMIES. Story of Coal and Iron in Alabama"

"An excellent name" commented Judge Allen. Now, Anastasia tell the jury just where you were when this accident oc- cured"
 T was sitting on the piazza of my par ents' residence" replied the lady
 Where Is your parents residence?" in- quired Judge Allen.
 "On the corner of Alley c, on Alley B.
 "Anastasia, what were you doing on the piazza of your parents residence?" asked counsel
 T was reading, sir
 "Anastasia, tell the jury what you were reading"
 "Milton's Paradise Lost, sir
 Where was your mather?"
 "She was in the kitchen cooking din ner."
 A Tragic Denoument
 And you were sitting on the piazza reading Mitons Paradise Lost while your mother was in the kitchen cooking dinner? That will do. Step down." Whereupon Judge Allen turned to the jury;
 "Gentlemen of the jury" he said, what |credence can be placed upon the statement of this witness? How many of you allow your daughters to sit on the front porch reading Paradise Lost while their motn- CTS are back working in the kitchen? And what are daughters good for, white or black, If that is the way they do?'
 Said Mir Monks, as Judge Allen him self rang down the curtain of his own monologue. "Of course the jury was right with him to a man. They would not hear to that witness after she was discredited like that! And I believe Ana stasia was an important witness for the defense In that case"
 ''She was" said Judge Allen.
 "Did you ever hear" said anoth CT attorney "of the personal injury suit filed against pretty young school teacher here in town not long since?''
 They are beginning to sue even the wind. I notice," said one of the judges present "so I'm not surprised at their doins a pretty school teacher that way"
 Well. the jury did not turn in a verdict against the school ma Jam, how ever. Felix Blackburn was her attor- ney and the combination of Felix, the scriptures and the pretty plaintiff was haru to beat.
 "She Licked Me, Ma" ...
 You see, the pretty. young school ma am had walloped somebody's young hopeful pretty nearly into kingdom come, a s she doubtless had perfect right to do. It was hot weather and the hopeful was probably hopelessly PNNN
 He was a great big, healthy husky youngster, and as his parents brought him into the court room a suppressed aigg1e went the rounds.
 That little mite of a school teacher could not hurt a fly, but none the less here she was being tried for as sault and batteryn
 Well, Felix made the most of his good points, as he has a way of doing, and he rubbed In things pretty we'll Then, never will forget it. In order to clinch matters Felix took to the Scriptures
 He opened the Good Book at the point where he said the Scriptures warranted corporal punishment of the young, and he read page after page to the jury.
 If my recollection serves me right there wasn't a word in there that had the re- motest connection with the case. It was like that story E. H. Cabaniss tells on how B. NJ Allen once got Solomons s lilies of the field mixed up with daisies and won Sis case on the daisies; but that's another story. At any rate, Felix proved to that jury that there was Scriptural authority for the school teacher to do as she did, and he won his case.'