davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

Steel balls for hall bearings can
not be made perfectly spherical.
The best vary less than .000i OF an
inch.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

New York barber shops are being
equipped with urchestras. II raxofs
acrape. Why not flddles. tool
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
WHY NOT SMILE AWHILE?
MOST ANYTHING

Another town that IL our Idea OF
no place to spend n vacation II
sweafmAn. Miss. Also Hot
Springs. Va. or any other state.
While our idea OF good place Is
Coolyillo. o. or illg bar, Cal.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

Three thousand stray dogs were
killed IN boston In tho last i3
montha
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
sTROLLERs COLUMN

There's a woman employed In a
down town Seattle office who Is
slightly deaf. Just deaf enough to
miss lot Of things she could do
without hearing.
One OF the boys went to her one
day when he was short Of cash
and said:
Miss e, won't you please
lend me s. till pay day."
How much did you say?" asked
the woman. diving into her handbag
in the most willing manner imagin-
able.
Remembering her infirmity. the
young man brilliantly thought to
take advantage OF IL.
Il said So" he replied, unblush-
ingIy.
oh. you rascal" she flashed
back. you know you said IS"
80. you see. she Is not helpless
~ deaf.
Did you ever notice how many
different ways there are to describe
= mans over-dalliance with the
flowing bowl? Why. there's a reg
uiar vocabulary of its own for thai
condition. Here are few sam.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

A girl % ~. armed With a re.
yoiYer. tried 20 rob a cuyahoga
Fails to) bank. See what &c are
coming 10 II the anffragct move.
mont takes hold. Girls are already
taking np the profession OF rob
berry. which up 10 thia time has
been strictly masculine field.
Sats 40 know the girls viii be run.
nlug the banks and trusts and rob.
hing us In The old fashioned. mescu.
limo way. J. Picrpon, win give away
20 J. Priscilla. and she'll knock off
the duty on atochinxa and boost II
90 suspcnders.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
LUCKY They DIo.

A dog that win find golf balls 10
the breed that's most needad now
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

Advertisement street rcadngi II
your a Onrlen's half coal"
~negoa he said in buy stoves and all my coal
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
THE DESTINY OF UsHERs.

II n rather an ekfnordInhfY cts thInE WVFth To-
marking that polite young who get jobs as the.
afro uhherH either oycntuate into actors, managers
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
APPROPRIATELY NAMED.
A WALL STREET NAN. PERHAPS.

No doubt the New Yorker who dime saving his
life would be saved three times for Plain
peae
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
CHIPS FROM OLD BLOCKS.

CHIPS FRUM OLD BLUIkS.
-How old Eisiay-
And Eruar
Il L."
remarkably preserved for age
F1icgendc Biactter.
Its Power To movsBEwsavc dsnsh,srs accomplished
In
Grtsgs-"Yes: playing undesirable
nelghbors. boston Transcript
Abou, MarrisQe-she--A
He~she should pretty a chance
Blue Bull
APPROPRIATELY NAMED.
notoFoualy AZ president
other
head Mr office
n he world
HUH" ffu saiG
7 understand they have named new town for you"
unfasared
ace own on he run
Mr. know
what's he
Knob Withdrawing uproausly
PostDspatch.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
OF WATERMELons

OH WA EHm GEOf.F
" you would WIN undylne fame
And silence hostile jcers,
Invent way to eat green corn
And not nuss up your ears.
sOr lemon custard pie.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
OUT or MATERIAL.

Tho harem skirt 10 doomed 10 n
Already it's paasa.
what will the paraafaphers do
To pass the time s~ay7
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
BORROWING auos.


Thes. are among the worst pests
In households They como NJ In.
opportune tines. 60 away when
ihey achieve their purpose. and al.
ways come back empty handed.
They always ask for something you
were going to use yourself There
arc two ways OF getting rid Of these
pests % Tell tho other neighboT
what . nuisance they are. Tho
word win soon spread aud may
shame them away. t1l Retaiiatc by
going over TO their house and Dor
rowing everything In sight
Broken rails cause moat Of the
accidents on railroads In the
United States.
Russia has appropriated $3.50. 900
TO survey railroad over the
Caucasus mountains.
Rain fell half an hour after
Gov. Mann OF Virginia issued a
proclamation calling on citizens TO
pray for showers
Why
Not get the governor 10 urge
folks 70 pray for Lorimcr's roslg.
nationg
Can't Catch II.
Aunt Mary. this Is my friend.
Mr.. aplffkins."
I'm sorry. didn't quito catch
the name"
MIR. Splffkins"
Tn really very deaf: would you
mind repeating it7'
Mr.. Spiffkins."
Tn afraid | must give II up-it
sounds 20 me just like 'Splffkins'"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
COMMON cOMpLAINT.

papers The world Ton Of uprIainEs
10 be
bottoms o affected
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
THE WOMAN OF 1T.
KNEW HOW TO SAVE COAL.

She married him reform him. and then;
He got good she loft him. because he was stupid
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

"oiiy eye IL n new disease.
eansed By the use OF oil on streets.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
Hor WEATHER pAsrimu.

Read up on the fourth dimension
and write a definition OF II in words
OF one syllable.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
LOST THE GARDEN KEY.

its
which nut
homegrown vegetables and fruits
opener" Is explanation Library
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

Russia has appropriated $3.50. 900
TO survey railroad over the
Caucasus mountains.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

The gentlemen Of the highways must be enjoying vaca-
zion train robberies in the Northwest for
several days
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

Broken rails cause most Of the
accidents on railroads In the
United States.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

Rain fell half an hour after
Gov. Mann OF Virginia issued a
proclamation calling on citizens TO
pray for showers.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

AwkWardIy Exprcssed.-Fe--'I not taking part In
Gals always think making such a of myself"
She-"oh every thinks hat'--London Opinion.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

The Only Way ou-Peter (sent for the milk)-"oh, me
drunk much q ~ What shaiI WI dot"
Small 5rother-"Essyl Wen drop tho Jug "-Megsendor
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20
TWO SPEEDS.

How fast can your motor got"
1T depends" replied Mr.. Cbuggins gloomily, ION
myself or a policeman. Answers London. .
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

Deflned-"Father." asked the funny mans boy w
| BY the himorT'
The humor. my boy. ia the art of grating CHI
Edtor
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-20

dear must count 80 with each mouhfu."
Freddy-'Gee that's the toughest way they've gotten M
make Teller learn arhmeci'-New York Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07

In bringing up my children found
that at night when they were tired
they were spared many tears by being
warned before l gave them a strict
command. Instead of saying Now it
Is time to go to bed. Put away your
blocks at once" / would say. at is
nearly time to go to bed. Finish your
house first and then put away your
blocks In this way the children
were fully prepared to go, and there
was consequently no begging and no
temptation for me to show my lack
of flrmness by being persuaded to al
low them to build "just one more
house."
Imagine a mother in the midst of an
absorbing chapter being told by one In
higher authority to put down her book
at once and go to bed. Would 1t not
save a frown of Impotence to be told
to finish the chapter flrst7-Harper's
Bazaar
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07
A Curiosity of Sound.

IL when riding in balloon at n
height, say, of 1000 feet charge of
guncotton be fred electrically 100 feet
below the car. the report, though really
as loud as a cannon, sounds no more
than "A pistol shot, possibly partly
owing to the greater rarity of the air,
but chiefly because the sound, having
no background to reflect it. simply
spends itself in the air. Then, always
and under all conditions of atmosphere,
there ensues absolute silence until the
time for the echo back from earth has
fully elapsed. when a deafening out
burst of thunder rises from below,
rolling on often for more than half a
minute.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07
WAR OF THE WALKS.
Humors Of the Right of Way on the
Streets Of Havana.

Streets 1f Havana.
Between 2 and 3 o'clock in the after
noon Havana begins to revive from
the lull which falls at about II, for,
although this city no longer frankly
retires to sleep the siesta as she ought,
she does doze duly in the motionless
thick heat of midday.
After one sees ladies' venturing
forth in twOs and threes to the streets
where the best shops are. This is the
hour in which to witness, If one has
eyes and humor for 1t, n whole series
Of comic occurrences.
Havanas sidewalks are narrow,
and their lack of width gives rise to
some local customs and deal of heart
burning. One does not keep hard to
the right, regardless, in approaching
another person travelling along the
narrow tagging in the opposite direc-
tion One must take under advise
ment sex, age, color and present condi-
ton of servitude as blaZoned forth for
all to read in the details of personal
attire
Men usually give women the inside
Of the walk, stepping down when
necessary to let them pass. Serving
people, regardless of age and sex, and
all others who so humble themselves
as to carry packages are expected to
yield the walks to their superiors, who
then are about everybody they meet.
Frequently, of course, it is difficult
to make in the flash of turning cor
ner all the nice calculations requisite
to deciding who shall have the walk
and who shall surrender 1t.
I know of nothing funnier than to
watch two fairly well dressed and cor
pulent Cuban ladies determining, as
they stand tottering, face to face on a
foot wide tagging, the whole delicate
problem of their relative rank. The
one arrayed in the giddiest garment
seems usually to win.
II there is small choice in color and
cost between the pink costume of one
and the blue costume Of the other
the one with the straightest hair stands
fast and the other walks round, some
times with grunts and comments soto
voce.
Or, all details seeming equal, they
face each other and glare until the one
with least nerve willis, swerves into an
adjacent doorway, and the victorious
one sweeps by with uptilted chin and
exultant pettieoats.-Irene A. Wrights
Scuba"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07

Professor @. Alphonso Smith once
wrote an English grammar. The book
was published while DR.. Smith was
teaching at the University of North
Carolina. One day he received from
a farmer letter containing the follow
ing:
II am glad somebody has written an
impartial grammar at last"
Dr. Smith Immediately wrote to the
farmer asking what he meant by an
impartial grammar" The answer
was:
You give the children this sentence
to parse: One Confederate killed ten
Yankees New York Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07

You are still having trouble in your
search for an honest MANI"
Yes" replied Diogenes. '"There are
plenty who are scrupulous about bust
ness and politics. But / have never
yet found man so honest that he
wouldn't try to ring in a portrait taken
when he was ten years younger when
you ask him for picture for publica-
ton" Washington Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07
Positively Rudel

Because she wanted everybody else
TO know as well us she knew that she
had small feet the woman who had of
fered to lend ruhbers to friend added
alphabetically, But they are so big
] don't suppose you can keep them on"
"Oh. guess ! can" said the friend
serenely, 81 have big feet too"
Since then the woman with small
feet has refused to see her friend.
even when she brought the rubbers
home.-New York Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07
The American WAY.

Microbe on Apple-Why is yonder
man eating In such tremendous
hurry? Microbe on Pear-Appoint-
ment with his doctor. He is taking
treatment for indigestion during his
lunch hour. you knowl-Puck.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07

shake Into Yeur Shoes
Aliens Foot Ease, the anti septic powder. II
relieves hot, tired aching, swollen, sweating
feet, and makes walking easy Takes the
sting out of corns and bunions, Over $1,000
testimonials. Sold Everywhere, csc Don't
accept any substitute. Sample FREE Adj
address Allen s, olmsted, Leroy, N. Y.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07

THAT banquet tonight can't get
along without me-"
You have a pretty good opinion of
yourself, Billed for speech?"
"Oh, no. | was invited to listen."-
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07
Cheap cojno.

Hyker-What do you mean by saying
that young Shortleigh embarked on
the matrimonial sea in the steerage?
Pyker-Well. you see. his salary is
snly 81 a week.--Washingtou Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07
Rsat III

Hibbs-Why did you select the gro
Ger to play the bass drum in your
band7 Dibbs-Because he's an honest
fellow and gives full weight to every
pound.-Boston Transcript
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07

Kicker Have you cook engaged at
present? Snicker-I think so; there's
man out In the kitchen every night
Harper's Bazaar.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07

Politeness is good nature regulated
by good sense.-Sydney Smith.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-04-07
ANNUAL MEETING.

:, The Annual Meeting Of the Stockholders of
PANY, No, 3S Bridge Street, Lambertville,
j., on MONDAY, APRIL nth, 1911, al 5
O'clock, 7. NJ, at which time the election of
Directors will take place,
:, ToRBERT CoRYELL.
March 81, lsii-St President.
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