The mirror., 1911-10-26
WELCOME! !!
Being an Able and Erudite Expo
sition and Tabulated Summary
Of The Pressing Reasons for
Haste in the Completion of
the New Prison.
Beau Espnta

bedu ESPntd
For two common brass pins and
a William III. Cutter pants button
1 would throw up my job and leave
town. ] would indeed!
Some time back, being in need of
rest and quiet, / secured apart
ments in an extremely inclusive
hostelIy down river. So far, so
good. But Fate, in the form of the
editor of the Riverside, " intervened
and / perpetrated diverse and sun
dry heinous copy. A bad offense
but an excusable one. providing
there were extenuating circum-
stances. you say. But wait!
Not inexcusable providing there
were extenuating circumstances, you
say, and perfectly right you are, as
how else can you be? Indeed yes.
And in this case the very heinous-
ness of the copy in itself proved, if
not an extenuating circumstance at
least mitigation, for no one could
read it. Certainly I consider my
self some one; but / repeat, sir, no
one could read it, at least no one
then connected with the River
side" But Fate is an inquisitive
lady-beg pardon! / forgot that
for the present Fate has taken
the form of the editor of the River
side, " who was not lady by any
manner. of means-an- inquisitipe
person, let us say, and a maliciously
mischievous one. In this case these
predictions of the person took
shape in an inordinate desire on the
part of the editor to know what /
had written. WHAT" l hear some
fellow in the crime of journalism
exclaim! Does he complain be-
cause an editor wanted to know
what he had written? Adzooks!
Yea, and again, adzooks!'' Where
upon he lays this paper carefully
aside for futher reference and, if he
be so unfortunate as not to be of the
elect, proceeds passionately, albeit
systematically, to tear his luxurient
locks. And if he be of the elect he
as passionately scratchs the place
where his locks formerly luxuriated.
Which moves me to ask. does the
custom of clipping the heads of con-
victs have anything to do with the
superiority of prison poetry over all
other varieties? But ! wander.
So Fate, in the form of the "Riv-
erside's'' editor moved itself to the
task of finding someone. somewhere,
somehow, who could decipher my
copy. Oh, inexorable Fate. Aud
oh. you G. B., thou more than mex
orable Nemesis of this my other
wise peaceful life. For in the per-
son of c.. B., a newly acquired
Devil Fate, in the form of editor
of the Riverside" found the man
who barred the quivering pulsations
of my poetic soul, as expressed In
the heinous copy which, as / may
have mentioned, | had perpetrated
at the instigation of said Fate in
said form of said editor, to a SYM
pathetic and appreciative public!
(Do not be frightened, oh ye of
much experience. This is not a
true bill though it may rival one in
unintelligibility). Yes sir, G.. B..
could, and what is more, did read
and also translate my copy.
/ moved.
Still in pursuit of rest and quiet l
decided (people always do decide"
in such cases as also in suicide) to
tarry while in the land of the nu-
merous nuts. st. Peter or Fergus
Falls for rest and quiet every time!
/ choose the former, but-to quote
as all good authors do, which means
TO misquote- there is no rest for the
poet. We, of the St. Peter House
of Rest and Quiet Especial emphasis
on the quIet) decided again that
word!-to start newspaper. Oh,
you needn't laugh. We who adj
mitted our condition had as much