davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
The lanobIe George w.

Then there was the precious regent.
What creature! Good men and bad
men unite in saying that he was abso-
lutely without virtue. The shrewd.
calculating Greville described him in
words that burn; the great duke, his
chief subject. uses language of dry
scorn, THE king could only act the
part Of gentleman for ten minutes
at time.'' and we find the common
est satellites of the court despised the
wicked fribble who wore the crown of
England. Faithless to women, faith
less to men. coward. liar. mean
and groyeling cheat. George ". never
theless chung to a belief in his own
virtues, and if we study the account
of his farcicsl progress through Scot
land we find that he imagined himself
to be a useful and genuinely kingiy
parsonage. No man. except perhaps
Philippe Egalite. was ever so con-
temned and hated. and until his death
he imagined himself to be a good man.
-Runciman "Sidelights."
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Her Sp!endid Economy.

Their dinner for two cost SIS. but
the mans wife argued that in the end
it was economy to dine at an expen-
sive restaurant because it gave her a
chance to study the fashions.
!, "If we ate in some cheap place pat
ronized only by dowdily dressed wom-
en- she said. Il would have to hire
an expensive woman to design my new
dresses, but by eating here l get a
chance to study the clothes worn by
women Of position and can design my
own gowns
That sounded convincing There was
no blessing on, earth. the man reflected.
equal TO IN economical managing
wife, and he settled the bill with COM
parative cheerfu'ness Three weeks
later he was given another bill to set
tie. That called for $50.
What is this for 2" he dema nded.
"Oh. she replied. that is the cost of
dress | copied in the restaurant the
other night. New York Sun
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
The stork's Lazy House Building.

The most interesting sight in the
Rotterdam zoo was the stork, whose
nest is set high on pinnacle of the
buffalo house. He was building in
the leisurely style of the British work
ingman. He would negligently de-
scend from the heavens with a stick
This he would lay ON the fabric and
then carefully perform his toilet. Look
ing round and down all the time to
see that every one else was busy
Whenever his eye lighted on toddlipg
child or a perambulator it visibly
frightened. "My true work. he seem
ed to say. This nest building Is mere
bypaths of industry" After drinking
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Hotels as HOSPITALS.

Next to a hospital give me an up
to date hotel in which TO take care of
a very sick patient" said a New York
trained nurse. I've nursed in most
of the big hotels here in New York,
and it's really wonderful the supplies
that can be brought at moments no.
tice. ice bags. hot water bottles.
crurches and wheel chairs are always
on tap. there's always some one avail
able to help lift a patient. and if the
patients man there's always a bar
Der at hand to shave him. And there's
the woman in the sewing room to
stitch a rapidly cut binder. There's
an operating room at your disposal if
surgery has to be resorted to, and
there's protected roof to take your
patient to during convalescence. AL
together the modern hotel is the rival
of a hospital when it comes to con-
veniences for the sick"-New York
Sun.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07


A prominent western man has two
sons. One is big and husky, like his
father, but the other is more slight,
and at times he rather vexes his ia
Their by bis affectat ton of rah-rah boy
clothes and general air of lassitude
and dudishneSs. The two sons and
the father were in the library one
night. and the name of a prizefght
referee came into the cow ersation.
The rah-rab boy had been sitting by,
twiddling his thumbs. but his ears
pricked up at the mans name. and he
drawled: Il rather like that chap.
He's all right.
What do you know about himT' the
other brother asked rather contemptu-
ously.
ooh. he gave me shade the best of
It one night"
Gave you the best of it?' both ia
Their and brother shouted.
Eyes. You see. ] fight under the
name of Young Ryan. and he counted
pretty slow one time when was
down.'-Saturday Evening Post.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Wanted a SIeeper.

A certain physician sat in box at
the theater the other night 1t hap
pened that he was the first man to
take his seat in that particular box.
The next man ushered in had been
hitting just few of the more elevated
points in the highway prior to coming
to the theater.
Gam I intrudingY he inquired ever
so politely OF the doctor. Have you
this section engaged all for YOURSELF"
mo. / haven't got it engaged all
for myself. Sit down. replied the
doctor brusquely. for he didn't want
to encourage the stranger to carry on
any extended conversation.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07


Stepping into small restaurant,
grouchy old man demanded Of the
waiter certain piece of meat he had
In the show window
But" said the waiter, "we''-
mo butts" replied the old man. "You
bring me what ask for or I won't get
anything here at all"
Rather than lose a customer, the
waiter did az he was told and, getting
the piece Of meat, took it back to be
cooked. After a long wait the meat
was brought to the customer. who, in
stead Of thanking the waiter, said,
Look here, young man, what is the
matter with this meat?''
Nothing is the matter with 1t, sir,
except that the paint on it has formed
d few blisters from the heat"
why, what do you mean by that"
asked the old man.
Simply this" replied the waiter.
Those pieces of meat You saw in the
window were not made to eat. They
were made for advertising purposes,
but you insisted. sir, upon having one
Of 'em. "-Philadelphia Times.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07

A workman in the observatory at
Toulouse has invited attention to a sin
gular phenomenon. A bar Of iron is
taken by the end, and the other end
is plunged into fire, heating it strong
ly, but not SO much that the hand
cannot retain its hold. The heated
end is then plunged into pail of cold
water. Immediately the other end be-
comes SO hot that it is impossible to
hold it. This phenomenon, familiar to
workmen in iron, is ascribed by them
to some repellent action they suppose
the sudden cold exerts upon the heat
contained in the iron, which is thus
driven to the opposite extremity.-Chi-
cago ecord-Herald
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Clumsy Breton Women.

To the casual observer the Bretonne
is not attractive or even supremacy in
teresting As femme de chambre she
is clumsy. slovenly and rough OF
speech, lacking the graces and neat
ness Of her Partisan sister. She shut
f1es about in felt slippers. her volumi-
nous black skirts catch in everything.
and If she waits at the table d'hote her
method of handling cutlery is strongly
calculated to sever ones jugular vein.
She has no regularity in her work, and
at the hour that she ought to be MAX
ing beds she is probably sitting on the
public staircase nursing her baby. She
is generally married and, conversely,
often ten years younger than you take
her to be. To English eyes she is rare
~ beautiful Her hair is trained tight
~ under her cap, her cheeks have sell
dom any delicacy Of tint, and her fig
ure and motions are ungainly and
awkward.-Wide World Magazine
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07

nar1ly thin, with Il stiff carriage He
had long, bony face b!otched with red
and scanty hair of dirty yellow color
His hollow eyes cleaned under thick
reddish eyebrows. but were furtive
and restless, never looking straight at
any one save by stealth.
THAT is a bad man." declared Ma
poleon when he had seen him. His
eye as he examined ne was like a
hyena's caught in trap"
He really resembled this horr:d sly
ANNA. in its walk as well as In hair
and eyes. He never sat down when he
was talking, but swung about hesitat-
fngly and with abrupt ierks.-Stokoe.
with Napoleon at st. Helena"
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Force of Habit.

A burglar went home one night, FUN
bled noiselessly at the keyhole and let
himself in without making sound.
He was about to creep softly upstairs
when his wife appeared on the upper
landing. "Dan." said she. "wot makes
We come in so quietg' Blame it."
beloved the burglar, 81 thought was
in another housev'
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Turn About.

At a Christmas dinner in Washing
ton q statesman who had been much
in the public eye was called upon
after the meal to make little speech.
He rose and began: You have been
giving your attention SO far to a tur-
key stuffed with sage. You are now
about to give your attention to sage
stuffed with turkeyr'.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
FIGURE IL Out.

A farmer takes some pigs to market
in a basket He puts the first in with
it's head poining one way and the
next with its head in the opposite d.
rection. the next with it's head point
ing the same way as the first, and so
on. He stops when he has three heads
pointing one way and three tails the
other. How many pigs does he put in?
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
The Forehead and Health.

The forehead is the first feature of
the face to show indisposition. The
minute ones stomach is out of order
there, will be yellow spots on the
brow. When one feels faint the fore
head will instantly show it. When
one is sick there will be freckles and
pimples upon the brow. which was
smooth and clear before The fore
head is as good an indication Of ones
general health as is the pulse.-Lon-
don Globe
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Penalty of Laziness.

Head of Department = What's this
lying on my desk? The last dunning
letter received from my tailor. duly
initiated by all my clerks. Oh. dear!
What have done? Actually sent it
around to be duly noted by the whole
staff without taking the trouble to
look at iti-Fliegende Batter
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Taken at His Word.

He latter marriage)-What! You
have no fortune? You said over and
over again that you were afraid some
one would marry you for your money.
Slea-Yes. and you said over and over
again that you would be happy with
cent
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Didn't Noed IL.

4 book canvasser went into a bar
Der shop and asked the proprietor If he
could sell him an encyclopedia.
"What's that?" asked the barber.
"Its a book that contains informa-
don on every subject in the world
There was a victim in the chair, and
he put In feebly, HE doesn't need it"'
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
a Wrono impression.

Fair Critie-Oh. Mr.. Smear, those
ostriches over there are simple per
feet. You should never paint anything
else but birds. Artist (sadly)-Those
are not ostriches. madam They are
angels Opinion.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
The Queer Part.

N0 00OSE
"Queer, isn't it. that lawyer is SUCH
q lover Of dogs?"
"What is there queer about it ?"
'Tt is more natural for a lawyer to
become attached to the fee-line spe-
cfesr-London Telegraph.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07

and overlooking ana cOngratulating
himself thus for a few minutes he
would stroll off over the housetOps for
another stick. He was unquestionably
a king Of the garden.-Lucas in "A
Wanderer In Holland"
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
The PuzzIino Point.

Teacher-And did you make out
list of the nine greatest men in the
history of the world. as / told you?
Willie-Almost l can't pick out the
best catcher. though. to save my neck.
Puck
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Lost.

LOST.
Weary Walker-1 lost 'arf crown
yesterday Tired Timotheus-Did y
ave a 'ole in yer pocket? Weary
Walker-No; the bloke wot dropped it
heard it fall.-London Tit-Bits.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07

Tall Sophomore-O'Frat is making
all kinds of money writing jokes. Fat
Junior - Writing jokes? Tall Sopho-
more-Yes. In his letters home he
tells his father he leads his class
Chicago News.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
The Sudden Shock,

your wife has received some sud
den shock What has happened?"
Il don't know. doctor. I came home
early last night
"Ah, that presumably accounts for
it "-Washington Herald
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
It's Penalty,

Artist Gndignantly)-You talk as il
painting an ugly woman's portrait for
money was crime.
Friend-I believe it is generally
hanging matter.-Baltimore American.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07

All riaD. :, 80 s.....s
ger. IF you haven't got the whol,
section I'll tell the porter to go ahead
and let down the upper BERTH
Washington Star
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
A Taste Of II.

Missionary-And do you know moth
ing whatever Of religion? Cannibal-
Well. we got taste Of 1t when the
last missionary was here--Toledo
Blade.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Napoleon. Custodian at st. Helena,

Sir Hudson lowe the man appoint
ed by England TO be the custodian of
the emperor, arrived at st. Helena on
April IA. 1915. His appearance was
not prepossessing He was extraordi-
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Bad Enouqh.

Magistrate-Do you know that drink
drives man into bad company? Pris-
oner-Yes, your honor. 1t brought me
before you.-Philadelphi Times.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07

There is not any benefit so glorious
in itself that it may not be sweetened
and improved by the manner OF Civ
ing M.-Seneca.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07

One virtue will efface many vices;
one vice will efface many virtues
Balzac.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07

The highest friendship must always
lead us to the highest pleasure.-Field-
ing.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
Ono OF Those Questions.

at was his third attempt at sui
eide"
"And didn't he succeed at either of
the others %'-New York Press
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07

THE PEOPLE OF BRIDGEPORT


PEERLESS GARAGE
They find complete establishment for the careakng
of automobles===both gasoline and electric.
A REPAIR SHOP
occupying 10000 feet Of the floor
feature Of the PEERLESS GARAGE equipment complete
y fitted with all modern machinery manned by force
mechanics who only understand but do first
bile repair work the satisfaction of patrons
THE ATTRACTIVE SALESROOM %&z@'~%
first floor busy quarter which
unapproachabe line of handsome passenger
PEERLESS and Of the model 20 PEERLESS
with exqusey graceful lines and
pontments; CADILLAC pony touring
ing shown and favorable electric
brougham and phaeton the ELECTRIC hand
models only being unanimously admired by the
ladies' but the gentlemen also number Of orders being
placed for early Spring delivery Of above models
DETROIT ELECTRIC delivery for the United IL
Illuminating Co. Of Conn.
the opening week. both days and evenings and will manifest all
courtesy you when calling
THE PARK CITY MOTOR CAR COMPANY
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1911-01-26
Danger In Delay
Kidney Diseases are Too Danger
Gus for Emmett People to
Neglect.

The great danger Of kidney troub-
les is that they get a firm hold be-
fore the sufferer recognizes them
Health is gradually undermined.
Backache, headache. nervousness,
Iameuess, soreness, Iumbago. urinary
troubles, dropsy, diabetes and
Brights disease follow in merciIess
succession. Don't neglect your kid
neys. Cure the kirneys with the Ger
tain and safe remedy. Doau's Kidney
Pills. which has cured people right
in Emmett
Mrs. J. l. AIoultou, First street,
Emmett. Idaho, says: Last spring
my back was extremely painful and
it ached for weeks at a time. When
1 got up in the morning, was lame
and sore and felt tired and nervous
The kidney sacretions were in bad
shape and it could be plainly seen
that I was in need of a kidney med
icine. Soon after I began taking
Doan's Kidney Pills. I noticed a re-
markabIe improvement and I am
now enjoying much better health.
Another member of my family has
taken Doan's Kidney Pills with sue
cess and joins me in pra;sing them -
For sale by all dealers. Price 50
cents. Foster-Mfllburn & Co., Buff
faIo, \. Y, sole agents for the
United States.
Remember the name and take 30
other.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1911-01-26

'Iwant 10 thank you from the bot
tom Of heart. wrote C. B. RAIDER,
Of Lewisburg, W. Va. FOR the Won
derfuI double benefit I got from
Electric Bitters, in curing me OF
both severe case Of stomach
trouble and rheumatism, from which
I had been an almost helpless suffer
er ten years II suited my case
as though made just for me. For
dyspepsia. indigestion. iaundice and
to rid the system OF kidney pOisons
that cause rheumatism, Electric Bit
tiers has no equal Try them Ev-
cry bottle is guaranteed TO satisfy.
Only soc at B. B. Davis
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1911-01-26

''FATTERN YOU USED TO BE, AMT YoU?"
taken aback. Comments on his per-
sonal appearance were not usual in
Rapport. But he rallied bravely.
We'll. we'll" he cried. Cyrus. l
arm delighted to welcome you back
among us. l should scarcely have
known you. You are older-yes, much
older"
well. forty years, more or less, add
ed to what you started with. is apt TO
make Teller some older"
MIR. Atkins" the town clerk said.
there's been considerable talk in town
about who's to be teacher downstairs
this comm year. We've sort of chawed
it over among us, but naturally we
wanted your opinion. What do you
think? I'm kind of leanin' toward the
Dawes woman myself
The congressman cleared his throat.
EAR be it from me-" he said. ito
speak except as a mere member OF
our little community. an ordinary
member. but as such a member, with
the welfare of my birthplace very
near and dear to me. ! confess that
am inclined TO favor modern teacher,
one educated and trained in the inSu-
tuition provided for the purpose by our
great commonwealth. The Dawes-er
person is undoubtedly worthy and
capable in her way. but-well-er-we
know that Wellmouth is not Bayport,'
That's So Asaph said-'thats So
amt it, Cy? | hadn't thought of that
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1911-01-26
erompt rreatmen, for colds.

A child's cold should be treated di-
rectly it makes an appearance. and IN
this way it will be prevented very
often from becoming really bad. Give
the little one a hot bath, dry him
quickly and put him into bed. and
then let him have some hot milk to
sip. See that he does not throw the
bed clothes off while he is persptring
after this treatment Rub his chest
and back with camphorated oil in the
morning and at nigh5.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1911-01-26

may not result from the work of
firebugs, but often severe burns are
caused that make quick need for
Bucklen's Arnica Salve, the quickest,
surest cure for burns, wounds,
bruises, bdils, sores. 1t subdues in
flamation. 1t kills pain. 1t osothes
and heals. Drives off skin eruptions
ulcers and piles. Only Zoe at B. B.
Davis
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1911-01-26

Germany has a society that exists 10
collect cigar tips The tips are saved
bv the smokers. most Of whom help
the society by carrying little leather
box. wherein they deposit the clip
rings saved from the cigars they
smoke, the end they would otherwise
throw away The society collects the
TIPS and sells them to a manufac'
turer. the receipts going toward the
fun s Of various charitable insuI1'
JiCns-
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1911-01-26
Look for the Bee Hive

On the package when you buy Fo
Iey's Honey and Tar for coughs and
colds. None genuine without the
Bee Hive. Remember the name, Fo-
ley's Honey and Tar and reject any
substitute. B. B. Davis.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1911-01-26
CY WHITTAKER'S PLACE
Continued from page 6.

be able TO get water for the cranberry
bitches pretty soon? There's need to
pray. should Think
"Humph. Seems roundabout way
of gettin' thing. don't IT? Why don't
you telegraph to Heman and ask him
to fix It for you? Save time
This remark was received in horri.
fed silence. Tad Simpson was the
first to recover.
"Cap'n." he said. you amt met Mr.
Atkins yet. When you do you'll feel
same as the rest Of us. He's comm
home next week; then you'll see"
A part at least Of Mr.. Simpsons
prophecy proved true. Hon. Mr. At
kins did come to Bayport the following
week. accompanied by his little daugh-
ter. Alicia. the housekeeper and the
Atkins servants. The honorable and
his daughter had been since the ad-
journment of congress on a pleasure
trip to the Yosemite and Yellowstone
park. and now they were to remain in
the mansion on the hill for some time.
The meeting between Captain Cy
and Mr.. Atkins took place the morn
ing after the latter's return. The cap
tain and his two chums had been in
speeding the progress made by the car
penters and were leaning over the new
fence. then just erected. but not yet
painted. Down the gravel wall; Of the
mansion across the road came strOlling
its owner. silk halted. side whiskered.
benignant.
Godfrey" exclaimed Asaph there's
Heman. See him. Whit
"Yup; see him. Seems to be head
in this way"
IL do believe he's comm across"
whispered Mr.. Bangs. Yes, he is.
He's real. everyday. Cy. He won't
mind if you amt dressed up"
Mr. Tidditt removed his hat. Bailey
touched his Captain Cy looked pro-
vokfngly Indifferent. He even whis-
tied.
Good mornin'. Mr.. Atkins" hailed
the town clerk. raising his voice be-
cause of the whistle. I'm proud to
see you back among us. sir Hope you
and Alicia had a nice time out west.
How is she-pretty smart?"
"Ah. Asaph-' he said. 1T is you
then? | thought so. And Bailey too
1t is certainly delightful to see you
both again. Yes. my daughter is well.
l thank you. She. like her father. is
glad to be back in the old home nest
after the round of hotel life and gay
ETY. which we Internationally I'M
dergone. Yes
Mr. Atkins" said Bailey. glancing
nervously at Captain Cy, who had
stopped whistling and was regarding
the Atkins hat and whiSkerS with an
interested air. Il want TO make you
acquainted with your new neiEhbor.
You used TO know him when you was
a boy. but-but-er-Mr. Atkins. this is
Captain Cyrus Whitaker. Cy, this
is Congressman Atkins. You've heard
US speak of him"
The great man started.
is it posSible"' he exclaimed. rs it
possible that this is really my old play
mate Cyrus Whitaker
"Yup." replied the captain calmly.
How are you. Heman? PATTERN you
used to be, amt you? Washinton
must agree with you
Bailey and Asaph were scandalized.
Mr.. Atkins himself seemed a trite
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1911-01-26
Tarsus srouaht up 70 oat..

Tarsus, the ancient city in Asia
Minor where the Apostle Paul was
born. is now illuminated by electricity.
The power is taken from the Cyduus
river There are now in Tarsus $50
electric street lights and about $40 in
candesceut lights for private use.