davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07
John Henry
~ Gets a Shock
By GEORGE v. HOBART

and Dodey fretted over it, didn't you
Dodey?"
"You betcher sweet" the LEADING
lady replied, with both eyes following
the efforts OF the waiter, who was
opening bottle of Green Seal.
Bunch was beginning to get uneasy
and had bad attack of fidgets.
Say, Dodey!" our bright and shin
Ing light went on, II want you tc
make fuss over these two young
gents. because they are the only near
~ silk on the counter. They've put
up their good cash to send me on tour
without ever dragging me before q
police justice to swear that I'm on the
level, and if ever that gold mine"
"Tush!" I interrupted. II saw you
work, Skinski, and you're a wonder;
that's good enough for my money"
Yes, but you never once put a
sleuth over the back trail to throw
the spot light on my past life," Skin.
SKI babbled on. you're the first white
man that ever took chance with me
without lashing me to the medicine
ball, and I'll make good for you, all
right, won't I, Dodey?"
You betcher SWEET she mumbled,
with mouth full of wine.
"Say!" said Skinski to me, after we
had ordered some breadstuff for the
leading lady, you're not such a late
train with the sleight-of-hand gag
yourself, Mr.. Manager!"
oh! I'm only piker at it," I re-
piled, modestly. II can do few moth
eaten tricks with the cards and I've
studied out a few of the illusions,
enough to know how to do them with
out breaking an ankle, but I'm not
cute enough to be on the stage"
skinski laughed, and Dodo looked
over another glass of Green Seal long
enough to say, "You betcher sweet"
"Well," said Skinski, leading a bevy
OF French-fried potatoes up to his
mustache, you'll know enough about
it after l rehearse you to go on and
do the show when we hit a fried-egg
burg. where there's only a Mr.. and
Mrs. Audience to greet our earnest
endeavors. Say, boys, you'll get lot
of fricasseed experience trailing with
this troupe, believe met"
Pm only going to be with you for
few days." l answered. "Mr. JEFF
ferson will be your permanent man.
ager."
"The devil I will" spluttered
Bunch. Then he got red in the face,
glared at Dodo, and grouched out a
beg pardon!'
You betcher sweet" she replied,
patting the Green Seal.
Say, John, you know we'll enough
I can't leave New York for more than
two or three days just at this time
without having good excuse to give
Alice" Bunch growled, while Skinski
and the Circassian lady put the
knives to the chicken livers en- bro.
Ghetto.
How about mel" I snapped back
Il can't go out of town at all, except
in the daytime. I'll have to duck back
to Ruraldene after the show every
evening or lose my card in the Happy
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

on the other. Colossal fortunes nave
been built up through the grain ex-
changes. The principal factor that
enables them to do this IL bad and at
times impossible roads.
If good roads advocates will conflne
their talk and recommendations to the
highways that will serve the people,
and such highways as the people can
afford to build, much greater progress
will be made.
In some instances good roads can be
built with gravel at hand at from $500
to $1,000 a mile. Where the gravel
must be shipped some distance the
cost will be double. When crushed
stone is used and must be shipped
by train, the expense will be any
where from $4,000 to $4,000 a mile.
Even at $4,000 a mile it would pay
we'll to build good roads upon the
highways. if it is done by the state
aid plan
Those who are objecting to the
building Of good roads advance OBJ
jections that are found to be falla-
c1ous, upon little consideration. The
writer remembers one man who inter-
rupted him during an address, and re-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

cial advantages, and the pleasure and
satisfaction of using good road in
stead of a poor one.
The good road boomers should keep
In mind some certain things that are
fundamental.
First. that under our system Of gov.
eminent no large amount of good
roads can be built unless the farmers
are ready to move in the matter, hence
the farmer and not the automobile
manufacturer or user must be first
considered.
Next, that the question Of road ne
cessity has the economic, social and
educational welfare involved in it.
Next, that good roads the country
over need not cost $4,000 to $4,000
mile, but through the central west
they can easily be built at , costs
ranging from $1,000 to $4,000 mile,
depending upon local conditions. This
price may be sometimes reduced by
the use of convict labor in the prepa-
ration of material.
The farmer should remember that
the building of good roads adds to the
cash value of his farm more than
times as much as the tax he will be
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

luncheon" my wife ratified on, while
l was slowly recovering.
'Of course we don't wish to be de
trop," she added, glancing curiously
at the famous Skinski and his assist.
ant in the mind-reading tests.
mo, no, Peaches; certainly not!"
l spluttered; hadn't the faintest idea
you were coming in town today. Let
me present Bunch's Uncle Cornelius
MCGOWAN and his Aunt Flora from
Springfield-my wife and my mother.
in-law!"
Skinski and Dodo were wise in a
minute, and they never batted an eye
but Bunch took the full count.
Of course he couldn't deny the rela.
tionship without giving himself away
so he simply stood there and looked
foolish.
"Have you been in the city very
long?" my wife said most pleasantly
to Signor Petroskinski.
mo, madam" he answered, with a
courtier-like bow; "we only broke
away from the cars this morning and
we bumped into nephew quite by
chance, didn't we, nephew"
Bunch growled something that
wouldn't sound well on the graphic
phone.
DO you like New York;" Aunt
Martha asked the other half Of the
sketch in an effort to be pleasant.
"You betcher sweet" said Dodo,
whereupon Aunt Martha fell back two
PAGES to the rear and looked pityingly
at Bunch.
IF you'll excuse US, Uncle Corne-
Illus and Aunt Flora, I'll take my wife
and her mother to the train," said
nervously.
mot at all, not at ALL" piped Skin.
ski. Dodey-1 mean Flo-and l
don't mind bit, do we, Flo?"
"You betcher sweet" she answered.
and saw Peaches glance question
fngly at Bunch, who was giving bril-
liant imitation Of the last rose of
summer.
But, John, I'm 80 hungry" Peaches
pleaded.
II know, my dear, but you see
Bunch has an awful lot of family hap
penings to discuss with his relatives,' -
I said; "and We must give him a
chance to get acquainted with Uncle
Cornelius and Aunt Flora"
Whereupon l grabbed my hat and
ducked for another eat shop without
ever glancing at Bunch.
Copyright, q. w. Dillinxham CO..
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

in. with hungry glance at the
cooked stuff.
Il told her we had business meet
on here, but II she wanted to squeeze
in she wouldn't be in anybody's way"
6kinski continued. "Dodey's an aw-
full clever girl, and she wouldn't be in
this biz eight hours II that gold
mine"
"Sure, know!" interrupted; pos
sibly Mademoiselle is thirsty-a little
wine. eh?"
you betcher sweet" the stout per-
son replied, with a celebrity that made
Bunch sit up and look about the room
to see If anyone suspected him.
"Dodey is always for the suds
thing" Skinski Clipped in. But
never to excess, never to excess. l
never see Dodey lit up but once, and
that was in Dayton, Ohio, the night
we played to the janitor Of the hall
and his four children. When we came
to the place where Dodey is blind
folded and does the decimal fractions
stunt on the blackboard the janitor's
oldest child fooled Dodey into doing
oil. next weeks lessons in arithmetic
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

first mile, which will be little used
road. to the main highway, and if from
there he can have first class road to
town, making up flve-sixths of the dis
lance, he will be well taken care Of.
The fact that he has five miles of good
road and one mile of poor will spur
him and his neighbors to put in the
best possible condition this road of
secondary Importance. 1t has always
been found that those opposing the
building of good roads overestfmate
both the cost Of the roads and the
amount Of mileage necessary, and it is
apparently done with the studied pur-
pose OF trying to convince people that
1T is impossible to build good roads on
account Of the expense involved.
1t has been demonstrated time with
out number that we'll built roads upon
the main highways will pay for them
selves every five or six years, treated
from an economic standpoint alone, to
say nothing Of the educational and So
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

marked that in some parts of the
country they were building hard roads
at cost of from $4,000 to $4,000 a
mile, and then said that their town
ship had aboZt " miles of highways
and proceeded to show that the ex-
pense would be at $4,000 a mile to
cover all the highways with this type
OF road. Upon little inquiry it was
disclosed that the roads in question
were brick roads, built upon a con-
crete foundation-an excellent road to
be sure, and such as it may pay to
build where the traffic Is very heavy
and there is large amount of tax
able property to pay the bill-but
these are not the roads that it is usual
ly practicable to build. No township
needs anything like " miles. The
facts are that four-flfths of the traffic
passes over about one-fourth Of the
road mileage, and it has been found
the country over, at home and abroad,
that when from one-fourth to one-third
Of tho total mileage of the highways
has been thoroughly improved, all
communities are we'll served, and the
good roads problem has been solved.
A man may have farm mile from a
good road, but if it is six miles to
town, he can manage to get over this
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

called upon to pay to help build them.
he should also remember that if the
roads were uniformly good it would
be much easier to get help upon the
farm. The farm laborer could provide
himself with a bicycle, which can be
had very small cost, and upon rainy
days or Sunday he could ge out and
see his friends instead of being ma
rooned by impossible roads.
The farmer should also remember
that over good roads can be hauled
two or three times as much produce
as over bad roads. Taking average
road conditions the year round, it is
safe to say that If one were hauling
over them every day in the year with
the same expenditure of power, at
least one-third more could be deliv.
cred and possibly twice as much over
good roads as over the unimproved
highways that are often in good con-
dition, but very often bad and some
times impossible.
In magazine article the writer
noted the following:
"A prominent southern farmer paid
$4O0 for pair OF mules. He refused
to pay $500 for a pair of smaller
mules because the larger ones could
pull $50 pounds more because Of their
increased size. He refused to vote
bond issue for good roads that
would have enabled the smaller mules
to pull 1000 pounds more"
Thus in practice we often save al
the spigot and waste at the bung. The
need Of the hour is to take up the
good roads question in big, broad
way with liberal spirit, and realize
that the roads are permanent asset
to the nation, the state and the town.
ship, and that If they are we'll built
and properly cared for, they will last
for many years, and the expense OF
building the roads ought to be spread
over 20 or 80 years, so as to let those
who come after US and share in the
benefits, help pay part of the ex.
pense Of building them.
Valuable information upon highway
construction and good roads generally
can be had by applying to the office of
public roads, Washington, or to the
highway engineer of the respective
states.
Let the god roads advocates agree
upon some sensible line of procedure
and cut out all the fads and impossi.
bilities and bring the proposition down
where it belongs, and consider it in
the light of local conditions, and ad-
vocate such roads as will give the
largest return for the money invested.i
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

! Bunch and I went into a restaurant
and found Signor Petroskinski, who
was looking for US.
His right name was JEFF Mulligan
but Petroskinski sounded more for
etgn, and he fell for it.
l introduced Skinski to Bunch, and
In five minutes all the business de
tails of a scheme I sprung were
settled.
Sk1nski needed about 5000 to pay
for couple of new illusions which
were being built for him, and Bunch
was appointed committee to go down
to Sixth avenue and disburse the
funds
II think we've got the real graft,
don't you, Skinski?" said, after the
luncheon had been ordered.
Its pipe!" Skinski replied in
pure United States, much to Bunch 8
surprise. From the name and the
makeup I suppose Bunch expected
Sklnski to yelp in Bulgarian or throw
out signals in Graeco-Roman.
Skinski was a warm member with
the CAB thing.
He got his start travelling with a
medicine wagon in the west and what
he didn't know about the show busi-
ness wasn't necessary.
Say, people!" our star went on,
1--WE couple Of new card tricks up
my sleeve that will leave the Reubens
gasping for air. And when pull my
new illusion, entitled, Keno, or the
Curious Cage on the public it will be
case Of counting easy coin. Say!
did l ever tell you about that gold
mine / won in the west many moons
ago?"
mix on the dream work, Skinski,"
I cut in. "We've put up our good
money to start you, so let's get down
to the programme"
ooh! very WELL" said Skinski; "but
/ was down to see my brokers today
in Wall street and there are doings.
I've got plantation full of gold out
near the Blue hills, and"
"Please don't smoke, there are Ia
dies present." admonished Bunch.
"Oh, very WE'LL" said Skinski, and
forthwith he launched into a descrip-
ton of his various tricks.
The waiter had just brought our
luncheon when a large blondined
shadow fell across the festive board
and Skinski jumped to his feet, fol-
lowed by Bunch and yours sur
prisedly.
Permit mel" Skinski said; "our
new hackers, Mr.. Jefferson and Mr..
John Henry! this is Mademoiselle
Dodo, the human Guessworks. She's
my assistant in the mind-reading
tests, and she's all to the elegant
Will you feed the face. Dodey?"
"You betcher sweet" Dodo replied,
as she splashed into the chair pro-
vided by the waiter, while l glanced
at Bunch sideways and found him on
the verge of fainting fit.
1--WE told Dodey all about you two
glad boys" Skinski went on, land
she's for you, amt you, Dodey?"
"You betcher sweet" Dodo chimed
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

Husbands union. It's different with
you, Bunch; you're not married yet"
1T isn't different at ALL" Bunch
whipsawed me- And you haven't
any business to expect me to hike
over the country with this outfit while
you stay at home and read Bunyan's
Pilgrims Progress
Il won't read that at ALL" l coun-
tered; I'll read nothing but the ship
news to see If you are stranded"
well, won't do it," snorted
Bunch.
You'll have to do it If you want
to win out that wedding money" l re-
torted. rs this the way you thank
me for what I've done for you?"
Done for me notning!" Bunch bit
back. Il put up as much coin as you
did, and now you want me to do all
the work."
work" echoed; what work is
it to count money, eh, Skinski?"
Counting money is a hot pastime,
isn't it, Dodey?" he answered.
"You betcher sweet" responded
the fair lady, gazing dreamily at the
empty fagon.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07
Bird Sticks to Old Ways.

AS indicative of the conservative
nature Of birds writer calls attention
to the habit Of the gray wagtail, which
offers striking example Of the unde-
Waiting flight Of certain species. This
bird passes it's winters in the heart Of
Africa and in summer it 10 seen every
where in Europe, in Asia and even in
Greenland. It has never been known
to travel to North America from
Greenland. It goes to Greenland by
way Of England, the Farce islands and
Iceland. The bird does not know end
will not know any itinerary that has
not been laid out by the birds IT its
species in the past.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07
HIRAM CARPENTERS WONDER.
full CURE OF PSORIASIS.

II have been afflicted for twenty
years with an obstinate skin disease,
called by some M. DIS. psoriasis. and
others leprosy, commencing on my
scalp: and in spite of all could do.
with the help Of the most skilful doc.
tors, it slowly but surely extended I'M
til a year ago this winter it covered
my entire person in the form Of dry
scales. For the last three years have
been unable to do any labor, and
suffering intensely all the time. Every
morning there would be nearly dust
painful Of scales taken from the sheet
on my bed, some of them half as large
as the envelope containing this letter.
In the latter part Of winter my skin
commenced cracking open. tried
everything, almost, that could be
thought of, without any relief. The
18th Of June 1 started West, in hopes
l could reach the Hot Springs. I
reached Detroit and was so low
thought should have to go to the
hospital, but finally got as far as Lam
sing, Mich, where had sister liv-
ing. One DR.. - treated me about
two weeks, but did me no good. All
thought had but a short time to live.
l earnestly prayed to die. Cracked
through the skin all over my back,
across my ribs, arms, hands, limbs:
feet badly swollen; toe-nails came OF;
fnger-nails dead and hard as bone;
hair dead, dry and lifeless as old
straw. o my God! how I did suffer.
my sister wouldn't give up; said.
We will try Cuticura.' Some was ap-
piled to one hand and arm. Eureka!
there was relief; stopped the terrible
burning sensation from the word 60.
They Immediately got Cuticura Re-
solvent, Ointment and Soap. I COM
menced by taking Cuticura Resolvent
three times a day after meals: had q
bath once a day, water about blood
heat; used Cuticura Soap freely: ap-
piled Cuticura Ointment morning and
evening. Result: returned to my
home in just six weeks from the time
I left, and my skin as smooth as this
sheet Of paper. Hiram E. Carpenter,
Henderson, N. Y"
was written January 10, 1880, and Is
republished because of the perman-
ency Of the cure. Under date Of April
%, 1910, Mr.. Carpenter wrote from his
present home, Go Walnut st. So.
Lansing, Mich: II have never suf-
fered a return Of the psoriasis and al
though many years have passed l have
not forgotten the terrible suffering I
endured before using the Cuticu1
Remedies"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07
II Seems Puzzlino.

Recently In Pittsburg Mrs. Rather:
inc Maxon- Smith Baumgardner, re-:
puted to be the wealthiest woman In
Louisville, KY, embarked on the mat!
rlmonial sea for the fourth time by
becoming the bride of Carl Neumeyer,
also Of Louisville. The bride is said
to be very close to eighty-three
years of age and the groom
somewhat over half of that. At some.
what the same time in Paris Mrs. Ak
bert Clifford Barney, of Washington,
who owns up to sixty-one winters and
who is worth seme $4,000. 900, married
Christian D. Hemmick, of Washington,
who Is twenty-six years of age. There
are times when matrimony looks like
maternal love.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

they could be used for would be as
speedways for automobiles. These are
not the roads that the public needs.
In the building of highways there
are two great questions involved. One
Is the economic advantages to be
gained from the transportation view
point, and this means good roads from
the farm home to the market town,
over which the food supply Of the
world must be moved. The other
question is one of the social and edu-
cational advantages that follow good
road construction.
Fortunately it is true that the same
highways that would give the largest
returns from an economic standpoint,
are the roads best suited to give the
highest advancement. Hence the need
is not these great, broad, expensive
highways, extending hundreds Of miles
in any given direction, but network
of good roads, nine to twelve feet
wide, covering the main highways of
the country and centering in the mar
ket towns upon the railways. The
wagon roads are the veins of COM
merce; the railways the arteries. The
largest public good will come from
such condition that there will be a
free and uninterrupted movement
upon both the highways and railways
throughout the year.
Among the economic advantages is
that it enables the farmer to keep in
close touch with the market and
make his deliveries when in his judy
ment the best price can be realized.
There is no doubt that large per-
centage-the major portion~-of the
farm produce for the last 50 years in
the Mississippi valley has been sold
and moved with road conditions as
the determining factor. It is, "Hooray,
boys, we must get this grain to mar
iket because the roads are good" and
mot necessarily because the price is
at its best. This hurrying of product
ito market swamps the railroad com.
lpa0ies and they are unable to move
the freight and enables the shrewd
DEALERS in the city to manipulate
;p11ces, pushing them up or down. and
tic reap a rich harvest out of the farm.
.er on the one hand and the consumer
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07
OF No Use.

when I was your age" said the
man to his little son." was the best
behaved boy in town. My parents
would not allow ME to play in the
street: they made me keep my face
washed and my hair brushed: they
compelled me to be we'll hammered at
all times, and was sent to bed early
every night and awakened early in the
morning. My parents trained me to
b q model, obedient, polite boy. Why
can't you be like was at your age?"
But, papa" answered the lad.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

You can take your choice Of what w
got. We got Reformed Presbyterian,
an we got United Presbyterian an
We got another Presbyterian that amt
neither reformed or united."-Phila-
delphia Telegraph.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07
Strong Bodies Needed

higher forms of .1ental development
should be attempted only by the few
whom nature has endowed with strong
receptive faculties and an eager love
for that form Of activity.-American
Magazine.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07

He Had a Choice Of Churches.
A young man who travels in the
west for a local manufacturing firm
was telling his friends of his trip.
Last Sunday was in little town
that boosted one small hotel" he said.
land l asked the landlord where l
could go to church"
WELL" he said. Il guess you want
to know the different denominations
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07
An Uncertain Step.

He has about the strangest walk
have ever seen." YES: you see.
he was engaged to girl who wore q
hobble gown and just when he had
got so he could keep step with her she
threw him down, and now he is en-
gagged to girl who wears q haren
skirt and he is trying to learn to keel
step with her."-Houstou Post.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07
Between Friends.

0SS"SOu UblSboSs
Alice-1 thought Mr.. Smart ha{
good literary taste until he sent mi
that silly novel.
Kate~-Oh that doesn't necessarily
indicate his taste, dear; it merely I'm
resents his opinion Of yours, Ills "
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-07
Such a Waste.

Sculptor Ito his friend)-"Well,
what do you think Of my bust? Fine
piece of marble, isn't it," Friend
Magnificent! What pity to lake a
bust Of It! It would have made a
lovely washstand. "-Tit-BitA