Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-07-23
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to catch early crop of mosquitoes (5) Went to tele-
phone and found the thing struck deaf and dumb
furious by this time, paranoiac, ready to chew
glass and spit blood.
"You may wonder why didn't tumble before this
and suspect my valet | suppose it because l
dreaming OF my beauteous bride Anyway, it WASH t
l began to think anything. Then | went out to the
elevator boy and asked the time. 1t twenty five
minutes past nine That blasted menal had put back
my watch and all the clocks an hour and half.
"Wel by that time was seeing red went down
the hall and pounded at every door begging for dress
suit Nobody at home, or only shocked females who
barricaded the entrance. At last found Dutchman
who let in and offered suit he had owned for
thirteen years. took it to my place and got into it
wrapped it around me, to speak, got lost in it.
Fit? 1t would have fitted dinosaurs better. 1t
tapped and waved about me. looked like the last
potato in the sack.
But it was my last hope, and in that mass OF black
broadcloth made my appearance at the Mansion de
Peach to find every guest gone the old swearing
mad, mother in law to be calm iceberg, and my
Daisy in tears. How l squared myself don't know.
sent Miss Peach all the volets in the world, and
postponed the wedding for week. | promised to be
careful.
When got back l found my valet waiting as cool as
marble top table. | promised not to murder him if
he'd tell me exactly why he did it. What dyou think
Nude had tipped him hundred dollars to queer
for the festivity. Well, it worth knowing. Some
where around the conspiracy srneled my mother III
law; butt couldn't follow up the trail.
WEDDING NUMBER TWO: No valet this
w time, you bet! My best man on guard buttoniig
up and giving good advice, telephoning to Central
for the time every minutes. was all ready
eight o'clock, when the bell rang like alarm clock
We didn't hurry, and-bing! the door nearly blown
in. Best opens the door Enter a hotytoty
chorus girl made up for leading ngerue, and big
bull necked policeman.
"'ThatS him. says Tootsy Footlights, and the cop
lays fist like ham my shoulder. What dyou
think? Tootsy sprang a song about my having stolen
six hundred dollars and banged her eye at Jacks two
nights before, said engaged but it all off
and Arrest him, Mr. Officer He's handsome but he S
false. Protests from Yours Afectionatey, heap big
talk from best man. No GO.
Officer McUgy shows warrant for my arrest I'm
properly identified and if want to go to the station in
a taxi can, otherwise he'll call for the patrol. tried
him with fifty; but it wouldn't work My best
flew loose search for bail. and | made the
journey to Jail. The Sergeant winked when told the
marriage story.
Il telephoned I'd arrive at the Peach house in a
minute; but before raised the hundred dollars bail
the wedding fizze. simultaneously Tootsy Foot
lights wired in that she found the ring inside OF her
rats, and she wouldn't prosecute Who was Tootsy?
Hired by Hon. Mudde of course like the valet. She
came round afterwards and told all about gggng,
and tried get to take her dinner. She had
nerve like frog, no? Yes? Well such are the petted
favorites of the mimic world, Irwin Cobb says.
"The next day got session of live wire talk from
Daisy Peach that gave the shivers. See here,
Claude! she says. I'm getting tired OF being married
the instalment plan. | know that Ma and MIR.
Mudde trying to queer you; but if you cant beat