davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-08-26

It sertenly was a CRATE wife hope
kontest my cuzzn Benny and me held
in our setting room. avn akkount OF
it raining so we coodent hold 1t in
the yard, and pop and ma not beeing
hoams. We maid 40 sents selling 20
tickits to fellos and gerls for sents
apeace.
Jack Johnson. wich was the httie
koon that kollekts old noospapirs for
living. and the wife hope. wich was
PudCe SImkins. who is sertenly crate
fter, took awf thare cotes and kollers
and wood >pf took awf moar like the
p;cktures of real filters ony thare was
laIys prezent.
Pownds the Tabil
Ladys and gentilmen. sed benhN' VINO
was managir, ftes are generally startlo
nv firing awf a pistil. but having no
pistil l win start the fte by powndlng
avn the tabiI with this umbreller, ana
eyry time a round is ovir will pownd
avn the tabil sum moar.
So he pounded on the tabil with pop {
un,breIler. and Fudge Simkins and the
loon startid to move Ground In the
rniddiI of the room. wich was aWl tney
Good move Ground, the 20 fellos and
The Washington times., 1911-08-26

complainin' Of the cold Yours truly. Peary.'
that example knockin and bein
forcby pushed inside. Belle?
"Ahhah" the president OF the compny the
president III Peary take pocket edition
the north pole with him, fortunes made-I
mean another fortunes made Let's make it."
All Doors Look Good To Opportunity
point Belle that the typewriter people weren't the
knock of I've been eein ads
papers Peay began givn movn lectures
pole And they all had letters from Peary.
tooth powder ad The letter said 81 carried
powder the north pole and back with and pleased
10 unfaithfuL The
Esqumo of party regularly with their bubber, and the
opinion everybody board that product has horse
radsh beat mi Yours truly. Peary
A 1t. Belle. Il speak
too highly of gum drops their ad said I'VE found that
dogs could pull twice far after gumdop meal and
we caught many waruses by the drops bait
Yours truly, Peary.
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
M A ME ELLIS BELLE
Everybody Has An
Equal Chance, and
IT'S AN AGE OF OPPORTUNITY

10 can say this amt an age OF opportunity Belle.
I've known it all along, but | just happened to
see an advertisement in magazine that brought
it back to my mem ry.
1t ad. about typewritin' machine, and
it printed letter from Peary, the on'y man that
ever really shook hands with the north pole.
While discoverin' the north pole the letter
said. Il used your typewriter exclusively. | sat
it down within four feet OF the pole itself and
wrote down my Impressions and though the tenn
per'ture far blow zero that the bottom fell
out of every recordin' instrument on the ship, the
machine gave me excellent service. never once
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Too Uncertain

Salvation Lassie (whose laddie is on
top Of the bus)-You'n get my fare
above.
Conductor-Sorry, miss, but I can't
wait till I get there!-Everybody'
Weekly.
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Like an Ocean Liner

I'm afraid my wife picked out the
wrong hotel"
TOO expensive7''
"Oh. no: but it's going to be hard
to make expenses. There's a lot OF
other bridge sharps there besides her
self"
The Washington times., 1911-08-26

a
IN h Its huming have been simply
when think how the dots dash all world
love and JOY comfort other who love
something real human I'd the
invented it
Secret To Tell You
But there of this for I've tell Your
letter which later today explaining the delay and
with good of the of advancement and
brought wedding day (a till kiss the wods) close
hearts, least that mother and bought things
for
Oh the JOY of it. dearest the delight dainty
PLAIN things mans bride aud
have been working
and taking them from time time for fairly makes
heart with happiness think of them they
for, and the future that and dear.
Charge Myself Carfare
And ALSO dearest the bank
deposit SASS OF five of that the dad
my birthday but do you know saved all the just by eliminating
expenditures don't rush buy candy
time pass shop and walk wherever possible
and charge myself carar have joined circulating library
stead buying lot of books that seldom worth owning
lot of those had sold old bookshop adding
little stock of
a
the study economy house
hold reductions with of the
wonderful their subtle revelations of how
from much
But there, tonight. There isn't anything
love WHICH fills the itself ovrows the
lines from the happiest girl in the world
her H
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
A Small Package
of Humorous Goods
REASSURING

He-Good night. dear. We must not
kiss or you would take my cold.
Ske-Never mind, 1 can pass II on
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Its Instrument

MY ship beat its record.
"Did Il beat 1t with its spanker
boom?"
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Treasures

when I was a boy I used to think
there was a pot of gold at the end OF
a rainbow"
! And now?'
II have turned my attention from
rainbows to mining stocks"
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Push the Button

How long can a man go without
air7"
IT can't say. The longest Pullman
trip I ever took occupied seven days"
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Retort Courteous

He-1 do like the soft pilio" OF .
woman's mind"
she-Eo doubt. That is a pillow which
helms to bolster up a mans self-conceit
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Natural Attraction

"I read Of some girls who have
taken lately to farming. Odd occu-
patton for girls"
Not a bit Of 1t. Isn't farming the
| science Of husbandry."
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Grounds For Trouble

Don't quarrel with landscape archi-
tect. I knew a man who did 1t once
We'll, what happened?
THE landscape architect laid MIN
out"
The Washington times., 1911-08-26

EAREST-Your night letter woke to day of
happness-a day of sunshine following the cold
woman--I naturally shed when the mail slipped by
without any word from you And then came dawn
and your dear telegram, bringing me swiftly
close to you, and seemingly within reach of your
hands. and the tears like the cold and rain have
been forgotten
It's odd. isn't it. how little the great inventions
and the wonders of the age appeal to until some
personal experience brings their power and their
greatness close to hearts. Somehow, | have
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
Poultry Pickings.

Eggs should be graded and the small
and i'll shaped used for cooking pur-
poses. None but the brightest and best
should be placed upon the market or
used for incubation.
Pigeons are becoming more popular
and game birds are getting scarce.
Pigeons require very little attention
when preparations are made for them.
SQUAD raising is profitable when fol-
lowed intelligently. Why not try d
few pigeons?
Great care is necessary In collecting
eggs intended for. incubation. The
poultryman should always know the
parents OF the offspring. and for this
reason a record should be kept of both
hens and cockerel This is the only
way to breed good fowls.
Beginners at poultry keeping tend t.
Overfeed their chickens during the win
ter-too much grain and too little ami
NAL food and green food. Fowls re-
quire each Of these three kinds OF food
all the year round In order to keep In
vigorous health. and If they are over
fed or underfed with either one there
Is apt to be a loss in vitality that shows
Itself In diminished egg production.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
Why tfe Didn't Shoot.

MY dear" remarked Mr. Goodman
as he searched for the lost collar stud.
II believe you were right when you
said there was a burglar In the house
last night
why do you think SOP" she asked.
WELL" he said as he found the
missing stud by stepping upon it with
his stockinged feet. II left a good deal
or money in my pockets when / went
TO bed and there's none there now"
ITS all your own fault" she re-
piled. You ought to have got up and
shot the wretch. II you had been
Drawer you wouldn't have lost the
money"
YES" said Goodman meditatively,
but If I'd shot the burglar I'd be a
widower now"-New York Mail.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
E.caned the Bullets.

DR. James Craik. who was Washing
tons family physician. WAS with the
Father of His Country in the expe-
dillon against the French and Indians
In 1854. and the next year he attended
General BraddOck in his fatal cam
paigning. Fifteen years later. while
exploring wild lands in the western
districts of Virginia. DR.. Craik en-
ceuntcred n band of Indians led by an
aged chief. who informed the physi-
clan through an interpreter that he
had made n long journey to see Colo
mel Washington. at whom In the battle
OF Monongahela he had fred his rife
fifteen times and ordered all his young
men to do the same. In fact. Wash
lneton had two horses killed under
him that day. and his coat was pierced
with four bullets, yet he left the battle
field unscratched-
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
A Dipiomatio Satire-

The king Of Madagao. being engaged
in Il dispute with the king of Borne
gascar. wrote him as follows:
Before proceeding further in this
matter l demand the recall of your
minister from my capital"
Greatly enraged by this impossible
demand, the king Of BOrnegascar re-
piled:
Il shall not recall my minister.
Moreover, II you do not immediately
retract your demand l shall withdraw
aim"
This threat so terrified the king OF
'IadagaO that in fastening to comply
he fell over his own feet. breaking the
Third COMMUNICATION The Col
iected Works of Ambrose Bierce"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
A Chemical Eaperiment.

When the genial Quaker. Isaac t.
Hopper. met n boy with dirty face
or hands he would stop him and in
Quire If he ever studied chemistry.
The boy. with wondering stare.
would answer. NO"
well. then. I will teach thee how to
perform a curious chemical expert
ment." said Friend Hopper. go
home. take 4 piece OF soap. put 1t in
water and rub II briskly Oh thy hands
and face. Thou hast no idea what q
beautiful froth II will make and how
much whittier thy skin will be. That's
Il chemical experiment. | advise thee
to try it"-Life Of Isaac T. Hopper.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
LOADED SILKS.
Tho Way the Fabric Is AduIterated to
Increase Its weiqht.

Tho Way the Fabric Is Accelerated to
Increase Its Weight.
II properly handled silk is the strong
est and most dura BILE OF all textile ma
terials. hut the various processes OF
manufacture that remove much Of the
natural gum cause II to lose so large
an amount of its weight that unscrup-
ulous dycrs and manufacturers resort
10 "loading." dipping the thrown silk
into solution of ~bichloride Of tin.
Some are not content with restoring
the original; weight Of the raw silk. but
load" IL until Its weight Is multiplied
three or four fold This operation
II destroys the durability OF the fla
ments
Stretching the threads to their elias
tic limit. So that n given weight will
wca.e greater number OF yards, and
steamlng to give the material an I'M
natural luster are other processes that
prove profitable to manufa cturers. but
costly TO the consumers and that cause
many people TO regaid silk as an I'M
certain and treacherous ia brio. with an
inexplicable tendency to split. crack
and fall into holes. even though pack
ed away in drawers or hanging up.
The use OF cheap. inferior and de
structive dyes is another practice
equally injurious and perhaps still
more common.-London Family Her
aid
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02

PRESENT ANY BOY CAN MAKE FOR
MOTHER.
the screws so as to make sure that
they will not split the shelf when
driven home.
Place the brackets in position and
secure them by glue and small wire
nail at two of the corners. In attach
ing the side strips use nails with large
ornamental heads In the desired finish
To conceal the heads of the screws in
front similar nails should be driven
in as close to the screws as possible
and directly above them. IL preferred
wooden buttons may be set over the
head of each screw and held by means
of glue In order TO hang these
shelves a small hole should be bored
in the upper ends OF each of the back
uprights.
These shelves require the following
pieces Of dressed lumber: The shelves.
three pieces / by 9A by 371a: back up
rights, two pieces by 2 by 80; front
uprights. two pieces 1 by by 24la:
side strips. six pieces u by by 241a.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
For House of Delegates

At the request of my friends to
permit them to use my name as a
candidate for the House of Delegates
in the next Legislature, beg leave
20 reply, if it is the will of the ma
iority of the citizens of Rock bridge,
| will endeavor to serve them TO the
best of any ability | may have.
Later will give nv opinionsin q let
ter to the press or all questions no y
before the pubic and some others
which my observation hes taught
me should be pa-amou,-. at this
me.
Res pectiGav,
w. u. MCNOWII.L.
April &c If.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
Il arm ano
Garden
BOOKSHELF FOR MOTHER.
Any Boy Handy at carpsnterins Can
Do Il and Wait For Christmas.

Any Boy Handy at carpsnterins Can
Do Il and Wait For Christmas.
In almost every household there Is
some one who is handy with tools.
says the American Agrlculturist-
To prove its assertion it prints the
following story by James b. Duncan
and a picture that shows the result Of
painstakiDg effort
bookcase large enough TO hold 100
books Is an adornment to any house
hold, and the yOungster who is clever
enough 10 gather in some nice bits of
pine wood and then tackle the tool
box in the barn will be sure to have
something extra from mother I'm his
Christmas stocking
Here are the rules to follow:
In the use of all edge tools, IL you
would avoid cracks and splitting, be
patient and do not attempt to remove
wood too rapidly, although the tools
should be always kept with perfectly
sharp edges. There Is much marking
out to do. and az thls must be accu-
rately done a good sharp pencil should
always be at hand. In sandpapering
1t Is best to wrap the paper around
Il block, as the result is. more uniform
than when the paper Is supported by
the hand alone.
The three shelves, which are identi.
cal I'm every particular. should be
smoothly finished. giving particular
attention to the ends, as these are
visible through the side strips. In or
der TO fit around the four corners of
the uprights, the four corners Of these
must be notched out. These uprights,
after having been cut to length,
smoothly finished and the corners
rubbed down very lightly with sand
paper. should have the location of the
shelves marked on them and then
have the holes bored for the screws
From half inch wood cut out four
brackets OF such n length as to az
closely between the two uprights OF
each end. Six little side strips. meas
uring one-fourth by one inch, are re
quired, which should be fat on tor
aud pointed at their ends.
In assembling make a hole in the
corner of each shelf and carefully try
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
For House of Delegates

To the Voters of Bath, Highland and
Rock bridge Counties and the
City of Buena Vista:
| take this means of announcing
that | am candidate for reelection
to the House of Delegates of Vir-
ginia for the district composed of
Bath, Highland and Rockbridge
Counties, and the City of Buena
Vista. Subject to the Democratic
primary.
JOHN w. STEPHENSON,
Warm Springs, Bath Co., Va.
April l2-1l-tf
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
FOR HOUSE OF DELEGATES

At the earnest request of many
citizens from every section of the
county / hereby announce myself a
candidate for election to the House
Of Delegates from Rockbridge Coun-
ty and City of Buena Vista, subject
to the action of the Democratic pri-
mary. j. II. GLASGOW.
April 19-tf.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
Beyond tho Law.


When Farmer Fairweight came to
London on flying visit be discovered
many things-that buses could go
without horses. that you could walk
for whole hour without striking
field or an acquaintance and finally
that you couldn't hit policeman sim
ply because he compels you to move
out OF other peoples way.
AS he was being taken to the sta
ton he inquired what the policeman
intended doing with him.
You'll find out soon enough" said
the policeman grimly-''seven days
probably"
Seven days! All. that's where 1
have We. old bluebottle" chuckled the
farmer triumphantly. producing the
return half of his ticket. 1--WE got to
go back on NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02

Ccuw 'ssiOuev &c Reveuue, Kerrs
Greek Nistr'ct
h~~"hv anpnourca m~So'f . co~.
di1ato Gov CcmmiSsionn~ of the Row
erue fo~ Kerr'S Creek DISTRICT. s~h-
iect tn the action Of the Democratic
primary.
A. S. HAMILTON.
May 17-3mos.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
For House of Delegates

To the Democratic Voters of Rock
bridge County and City of
Buena Vista
| hereby announce myself a can
ddate for reelection to the House
Of Delegates of Virginia for the
County of Rockbridge and City OF
Buena Vista, subject to the Demo
cratic primary.
HUGH A. WHITE.
April IL lift.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
Commissioner of REVENGE,
Natural Bridge District

| hereby announce myself a can
didate for Commiss ioner of the Rev
enue for Natural Bridge District,
subject to the action of the Demo
cratic primary. / earnestly solicit
the support Of the voters of the dis
trict and promise, if elected, to
faithfully discharge the duties con-
nected with the Office.
Respectfully,
WILL O. HARRIS.
April 26-tf.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
REST AND HEALTH TO MOTHER AND CHilp.

MRS. WINsLow's SOOTHING SYRUP has been
ased for over SIXTY YEARSby MILLIONS =
MOTHERS for their CHILDREN WlIILR
TEETHINC, with PERFEcT SUCCESS. II
HOOTHES the CHILD. SOFrENS the GUMS
ALLAYS ell PAIN CURES WIND collie, and
Is the best remedy for DIARRHuA. 1t Is ab
soiutely harmless. BE sure and AK for MRS
Wiusiow's Soothing syrup" and take no othef
xiud. Twenty-Five cents bottle.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
FURNITURE

With a good line OF cheap mel
ium and fine Furniture we are in
y position to meet your needs.
We shall endeavor to please in
Quality. Price and Prompt Ser
ice. Something for the
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
PATRONIZE THE
Peoples National Bank
OF LEXINGTON VA.
OF LEXINGTON, VA.

We provide absolutely safe place for you deposit you
money.
Money in this Bank safe about the easily
ST. and more easily spent.
Whatever spare change you have enough open Pank
need o III uhaves dollars.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
April &c If.
Fer Supervisor, Natural fridge

Fer Supervisor, Natural fridge
District As p
At the urgent request OF manr
voters, | announce mys II &An515S
date for the Democratic nominatioo
for Supervisor of Natural Hrt4xs
District, subjectto the action Ato5e
Democratic primary. $3k<
W. E. l.. STANG IS
April 19-ll-tf.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02

An Emphatic Answer.
Editor-Why do you shout sos
Preacher-Those are my italies.-St
Louis Post Dir patch.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
Commissioner OF Revenue
Announcement for Sheriff

! hereby announce myself a can
didate for reelection to the office OF
SHERIFF. OF RoCKBRIDGE COUNTY,
subject to the Democratic primary.
r. l.. MORRISON.
March S-I1-3m.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-02
UNDER TAKING

Our undertaking departm mt is
conducted In a manner that will
prove both reasonable In Price,
Prompt and Satisfactory Ser
vice.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-28

Pupils of Mrs. Minna f. Lewis pre-
seutcd an artistic studio recital at Mrs.
Lewss home as Twelfth East yeztcr-
day afternoon. These pupils have devoted
The last wear in the Improvement Of tone
production, and in the special study of
phr5sing and careful shading. Their
work Was OF n high order. and the music
with which they have been working was
OF unusually high standard. The pro-
gramme presented was as follows:
"Cavatna-Bel RsgEio Lusinghler"..
Mrs. Eugene Tpham Ross.
(a) Gretchen ann Spinnrads" .-...
(b) "Thou Art Like Flower" List
Mrs. Eloise Gilner.
"le Deslr .,:.-.. :,.::.;-.......-... List
Mrs. Eugene Upham Ross
Nioloucelo-
(a) "Noctmne. II Flat"
.,....-s. s-.... s..y.-Chopin Pepper
% "The Swan" ,......... Saint -Saeus
Mr.. Otto King.
j. Il. Bcrkhocl. acCompanist.
Waltz song. Romeo ri Juliet. Gounod
Mrs EIoise Glmer.
(a) "Ailcrscelen" ...............St Strauss
(b) Der Nussbaum'' ........ .Schumann
Mrs. Eugene Upham Ross
"Hush. Little One. ".............B Bevignani
Mrs. Eloise Glln1er
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-28
School for Teachers,

William A. WetzcIl. supervisor of mu
sic in the city schools, viii conduct ;
school of music for public school teach
ers and those who desire TO 6t them
selves for supervisory work in music
The school viii begin on the 18th day OF
June and continue for a period of 1--WE
weeks. or twelve days. Instruction viii
be given in the rudimcnts OF music, mu
sic reading, conducting and school room
methods.
II is Mr.. Wctzell s plan to make this
school permanent annual affair. With
the growth of the school il will be pos
sible 10 secure such assisting talent a
Mrs. Gaynor. Mr.. Neidlngor-both mu.
steal composers of more than national
repntatIon-an such supervisors rs
Walter Aiken oe Cincinnati, Miss Alys
Bently of Washington; d. c., Frederick X
Chapman of Cambridge, Mass, and 9th
ers of equal standing in the musical
world
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-28
PILES CURED AT ROME by
NEW ABSORPTION METHOD

II you suffer from bleeding. itching
address and I Will tell you how to cure
yourself at home by the new absorption
treatm and will also send some Of this
ences from your own locality IL re-
qucsted. Immediate relief and permanent
cure assured. Send no money but tell
NJ Summers. Box p. N0tre Dame Ind.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-28

Also SillE.
Memorial Music
Special Memorial music has hcen
arranged Tor the services at the First
Methodist church for both tic services
today. At the evening service tho
Grand Army OF thc Republic will nc Ia
attendance. Mrs. William y. Wetzell.
vino arranged the programme. will con
duct tho choir. and Mrs. J. Louis Stro-
hauor will be at the organ Tho music
In the morning will he as follows;
Anthem The Peace OF God" -.
......... ,.,...,... Gounod Shepherd
Earl Eibby and choir
soprano solo. My Faith in Thee.
80. -: .......'.' 49,. ....... Wells
by Elmer Young.
The music arranged FOR the evening
service is as follows:
Anthem, Glory BE TO God on Uish''
........,......,Fr From The Nativity" "
Mrs. Cha rles G. Daily and choir
Violin solo, Visions" ............. pIalda
Elmer Young.
CoDtralto solo. Bows in Blue" 40. Danks
Miss Leola Schrack.
Soprano solo ifhe Flag without IL
Mrs. Charles G. Plummer.
Male quarte,te. The Flag" .......,
Messrs. Abbott. Klbby, Barrett and
Eberhardt,