davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
QUAKER MEDrrATIoNa

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.l
The truth in a nutshell is often hard
to pick out.
With SO little to be proud of II is
hard to see what makes the weather
vane.
If you are going to borrow, borrow
from pessimist. He never expects
to get it back.
Some men only grasp an opportun-
ity after they have first taken the pre-
caution of sprinkling salt on its tail.
First Policeman-ssThat suffraxette
used shocking language to me-" Sec
ond Policeman-'sWhat did you do?"
First Pohceman-"I told her she was
no gentleman"
There shall be no marrying or
giving in marriage in heaven quoted
the Wise Guy, That's pretty tough
on the girl who thinks no man on
earth is good enough for her." dded
the Simple Mug.
Mrs. Tightwad-"oh. George, the
baby has swallowed your collar but
ton Mr.. Northumberland scott!
woman; why aren't you more careful?
Don't you know collar buttons cost
money!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison Globe.1

EFrom the Atchison Globe.1
Some men are always talking about
calling" people.
Nearly everyone hates king and
would like to. be one.
Most of the schemes for making a
barrel of money can't be cashed.
If it would do any good, one might
urge the bores to take the rest cure.
Did you ever hear a coal dealer
complaining about the weather being
too cold =?
What has become of the old-fash-
toned boy who was referred to as
''doubIe-jointed?"
Nothing sounds more out of
place than to hear a minister called
by his first name.
Horses are like men; 1 never saw
one that didn't have something wrong
with it."-John Taylor
the other morning. tI ate something
last night that didn't fit he. said.
A lot of fault is found with the
preachers, due to considerable COM
petition in research in that line.
The aviator is not, however. the
only high-fyer who is apt to encounter
frequent and disastrous tumbles.
AS we understand it, dancing with
few clothes on is "art' on the
stage, and the "can cam under cam
vas.
We don't know how it was with
others, but the closing of the open
season for quail didn't take anything
off our table
Notwithstanding numerous laws to
prevent women wearing the piumage
of song birds on their hats, the nlilh-
merry displays continue about as loud
as ever.
when a man takes me into his
conf1d ence," said Count MCGOWAN the
other morning, ait nearly always ends
up that he wants me to do something
for him"
No college man should try to con-
vince an untutored world of the mis-
ttention to his dear old alma mater.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
HUnop OF THE Day

Brother Lobstock-How did yo' all got
20 nose busted? Brother Tump-I done
slipped down an, plumb lit on my back.
Brother Lobstock-But, name o. good
ness. sab. .yo' nose isn't located on yo'
Look out, Ill., shouted the farmers
wife; as the big balloon SCARED over the
thar arynaughts viii hook you up like q
fish if yeou don't watch out" Gosh,
dropped his 9P rake. .Yeou don't Il think nix
tn try to DC sseh thing IRsurDOsey
That tall chap looking down here here with 18th
the spyglass is one of them thar Indiana
writer folks. and he's working on book
Reckon yeou better keep yeour eye on
that anchor."-Chicaso News.
A Prophet Is Not without Honor. Ex-
cept, Etc.-"My dear" says the doctor to
his wife. who is cuddling their new boy.
take take it s up every time t cries. It Should u
not be shown to everyone who calls. your
mother and father should not be permit
ted to dandle It, you should not chuck It
dows wide open, its clothing should be
OF th0ss acy S
wife. ''You go and tell that stuff to peo-
ffna 4Ks. OF your old advice about this baby
said Rose Stahl, the justly famous Chorus
hear how. how s !; SGT Put Of i when he
stealin' diz yah bird. Ise a-takin, it in
roared the indignant owner, shaking him
by the collar, What kind of lie are you
the en- much-abused sambo, man an wife she
say eff 1 doan'- fotch home a turkey she
gwiins ter break ss s, sbeEy bone in nah body.
se'fr january Young's Magazine.
Why did you let that thief get away
Il he were the owner ? explained the pa.
had as pleasant a face as il there were no
doubt. of his ownership: "A pleasant
Vet what. a worried look: the au ito
owner wears?,-Buffalo Express. rssa
wandered into downtown barber shop.
and after being shaved sat down In the
%eees he ea asRed 90 Sos sss Rslsdi
s ths Subesas miner ESr on
gSars sa4a he SeOsraasly You g ms.
hundred dollars you keep shicksty?" ssYes,
keep shics Son 1sds IN snouia zGT
hun q. thousan'. yon keep shicksty thou,
q puzzled manner. t'what're you goin' T.
do with so much money ?'-C7eveland
IT rather like the motif of that picture"
said Mrs. Oldcastle, after she had care
fully inspected the new work OF art
Yes, so do T." replied her hostess, as
they were passing from the gallery. "only
both me and Josiah thought the artist
meant it for a cow.'-Chicago Record
Herald.
Just Dissolved.-''So you broke your en-
gagement with Miss Spensive?" mo,
didn't did break it." =. .oh. she broke IL" NO,
yes, she told me what her clothing cost
and I told her what my income was
then our engagement sagged In the mid
die and gently dissolved. Houston Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

will be out of order. DR.. PercivaI
Lowell the famous astronomer, de-
elares that man is responsible for more
than half the bad weather of which
he complains. But maybe this is not
the final word in the premises. Any
number OF famous astronomers in
sisted that the earth was going to get
something OF q terrific side-swipe from
the tail Of Halley's comet when it
wandered this way some time ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[From the New York Press-l

From the New OK PFesAI
It's awful unIucky to think you know
how to speculate.
You can make more out of most
anything than out of rich relatives.
IF girl smiles toward you, look
over your shoulder for the other man.
Walking on icy pavements is abso-
lutte security to trying to escape fam
lily jars.
A man has an incurable idea that
his wife ought to prefer to sit around
and see him smoke an old pipe to his
taking her to the opera.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

New FORKS society for the proven
lion OF cruelty to animals killed no
less than 34e,OOo cats last year. It is
q. fortunate thing, indeed. that the va
rious societies for the prevention Of
cruelty to children. which are scat
tered throughout the country, don't
use similar methods in carrying on
fhafP Vvorar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

So great is the rivalry between Chi
cago and New York that it wouldn't
be at all surprising If considerably
more than $4,000 pounds Of dynamite
was exploded at once in the Windy
city just SO New York could not have
the worlds record in that respect.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

Mary Garden declares that she is 60
ing to write a book which will make
the world sit up and take notice.
Presumably it will be illustrated with
varied poses of herself in the cos
tunes CD she wears in her famous
s'Salome" dance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

Next to operating a gold mine that
contains mother lode. managing al
most any kind of a prize fighter ap-
pears to be the most lucrative pursuit.
The man who had managership con-
tract with Carl Morris the Oklahoma
pug, who has been picked out as the
white mans hope" but who hasn't
yet had a chance to demonstrate how
good a fighter he is, sold his rights in
the premises for $25, 900 cash.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

The poor. much-battered consum-
ers may well be pardoned for chuck
ling bit over the turn Of the worm
that is causing the cold storage spec
ulators in eggs and butter to lose
heavily on many of their foxy in
vestments during the past couple of
years. One of them bought. 20, 600
tubs Of butter last spring at 81 and 30
cents a pound and the best he can
get for it now is rs cents per pound.
It is. indeed a long road that has no
turn.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

The acquittal of the woman, Nan
Ewing. by a local jury of the charge
that she killed the old soldier, Joe
Rice, merely seems to emphasize the
fact that II is almost impossible to
convict woman in any part Of the
United States for the murder of a
man
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

Governor Stubs is determined that
his official acts shall be investigated
While the legislature continued to hem
aud haw over ordering such an inves-
tigation, the governor went ahead and
appointed special committee of his
own to do the work. Desirable results
are to be expected. Things are al
ways best done. when done by ones
salt
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

Even when that bill providing terms
of imprisonment for bank robbers OF
from ten to thirty years. which is be-
ing rushed through the legislature, be-
comes a law, it won't amount to very
much if the police authorities of Kan
sas are no more successful in the flu
ture than they have been in the past
in catching bank burglars. It's i'm
possible to have a feast of fried rab-
bit, unless the rabbit is first caught.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

Nor does there seem to be any aba&e-
ment Of the high cost of living in the
political arena. @. P. Mclean. United
States senator-elect from Connecticut.
spent $14,541 to carry on a successful
campaign for that Office
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

The Will OF the late Mrs. Eddy has
finally reached the courts. and when It
gets out Of them the chances are good
that the estate it disposes Of will not
amount to very much. The lawyers
interested viii have pocketed most of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

Washburn college seems to have a
pretty good basketball team. anyhow.
Ie Is to be hoped that no one Will be
mean enough to suggest that basket
bah savors Of being a game for molly
coddIeS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

An overwhelming prohibition vic
tDTy seems to be on the cards for the
future. Scientists are DOW insisting
that this earth Is doomed to dry up.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

Dorothy Arnold, the missing New
York heiress, is fast getting in the ON
plpresent class. She has been seen In
several parts Of Europe and the
United States at the same time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

Noting that there is wealthy wom-
m In Denver who has never worn a
hat. the Cleveland Plain Dealer is of
the opinion that "most any woman
could get wealthy that way"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal "a . member q the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report Of that great newB or
sanitation for the exclusive afternoon
Sublicatiou In Topeka
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
STEEL POSTAL CARS.

Congress finally has taken cogni-
zance of the condition of the cars in
which the mail is carried, and If an
amendment which was adopted in the
house last Monday is written Into the
measure as finally passed, an evil of
long standing will be corrected.
1t has been the custom of the rail-
roads when coaches have reached that
state of decrepitude when they are
good for nothing else to make them
into postal cars. Many of them are
simply death traps, not sufficiently
strong to withstand any severe jar.
Placed near the engine of a train and
with a string of coaches behind them,
when a collision occurs, they are the
first to be wrecked. For a number of
years newspapers have been advocat-
ing the use exclusively of steel mail
cars, but the railroads have somehow
succeeded in discouraging such an
order.
The amendment adopted by the
house provides that 1.-THE postmaster
general shall not after the first day of
July, 1916, approve or allow to be
used. or pay any rental for, any rail-
way postoffice cars not constructed of
steel or other noncombustible ma
terial.' Steel cars will greatly mini
mize the dangers to life and limb in
the occupation of railway postal clerk,
and their use exclusively should have
been insisted upon long ago.-Leaven-
worth Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
Freedom of EngIish speech.

English -pelling may be as cumber-
some and perverse as its reformers de-
light to describe it. but in one respect
at least our speech is girt and ready
to enter the race of world languages.
We refer to its freedom from the COM
plications of grammatical gender.
Hitherto, we had some vague notion
that continental peoples were endowed
with a sure and subtle sense for the
eternal masculine and the eternal neu-
ter. as we as for the eternal feminine,
We imagined every Frenchman and
every German something of an Adam
in linguistic paradise; We had to
learn our lie and la, our der, die and
das by arduous application, but we
supposed that you had only to show
thing to the Frenchman and Ger
man to see what he would call it. It
is, therefore, very distressing to learn
that Paris does not know the gender
of Omnibus and that discussion
RACES over the choice between ale
Nord Sud" and 'la Nord Sud" as the
name of the new terminal. Doubt
less the Academy will settle the mat
ter in the end, but it is a bitter dis
to realize that we have
to do here merely with the old squab-
bic between the vulgar fashion and
the DEGREES of the grammarian, but
rot with intuitions at all. English is
fortunate to be clear of the whole diff
ficulty. We can call a shin "she" If
we want to, but we do not have to do
it.-New York Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

Any complaints that humans may
make in the future about the weather
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
Rallxed at Knighthood.

The honor Of knighthood is not one
which appeals to everybody. Coke, OF
Norfolk, who considered that he had
far better claim than the speaker to the
designation of first commoner OF Eng
land, strongly disliked the idea of a
handle to his name. This fact was well
known to George ". When Coke was
chosen to head deputation praying
the king "to dismiss from his person
and council those advisers who by their
conduct had proved themselves alike
enemies to the throne and people" "
George announced that he would get
even with him. ''Tf Coke. of Norfolk.
enters my presence" he declared. Il
swear I'll knight him" The threat was
repeated to Coke, who rejoined IF he
dares such a thing, I swear I'll break
his sword" And as the sturdy Norfolk
squire was quite capable of doing this
George refrained from carrying out his
threat.-London Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
The Stray chick Crowded Out.

They talked it over and decided
that it was their duty TO rear some one
else's baby. They found a boy three
days old, and took him home That
was thirteen years ago.
Then Something attracted the stork.
He began to visit the home at 2605
Independence avenue, where a found
ling baby had been taken in because
he had neglected to stop there. But
after the stork had called five times,
and there were five little mouths to
feed, they talked it over again. And
Joseph Bayne, who is a mail carrier.
went to the juvenile court and asked
that he and his wife be relieved of the
care of the adopted boy.
you see,'' he said. "wh hen we took
this how we believed we never would
have children OF our own"
And so the adopted boy is going to
find a new home at the McCune Farm.
Kansas City Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
peers Race with Trolley.


That deer can run 40 miles an
hour and need take no dust from a
trolley car was demonstrated here to-
day in race between a car and a
fully grown buck on the Winnipaugh
division.
For half a mile the deer easily
maintained his place at the side of
the car, although Motorman Freder-
lex w. f.. Andrews showed the con-
troller to the fourth notch in an eff
fort to outstrip the animal.
Then, with shake of his head and
twist of his little tail, the buck
vaulted a six foot fence at the side of
the road and disappeared in the
woods. He was seemingly unwinded
and acted as though he had enjoyed
the race as much as had the score of
passengers who had gathered on the
platforms and at the windows and
shouted encouragement to the deer.
Deer are frequently seen in this
neighborhood, but this is the first one
that ever raced with trolley
South Norwalk (Conn.) dispatch to
New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
KAMSAS COAAEET
WORSE THAN PILLS.

Certain High Brow publications
nave walled enthusiastically and long
against the patent medicine manufac-
turers, excluding their advertising
from their columns. Possibly that is
All right, IL they feel that way about
it, although there are doubtless good
ana pad patent medicines, although
Amerlcans are inclined to take too
mucn or both without murch urging.
BUT these same pure publicans COM
tinue to print advertisements ofhigh-
power automatic reYolvers, SO small
tnat one can carry them in his vest
pocket, and easily kill a man without
much target practice.
A man of national prominence was
killed. In New York the other day, be-
cause another man, half crazy, had
seen the suggestion that he should
ouy one OF these guns, and found the
puying easy. The man who was shot
mad done no wrong, but he had no
choice in the matter but to die. The
man who takes a poison nostrum,
certainly does not do it without warn
ing, which leads US to believe that the
advertising of weapons of the vonveni-
emit, easily concealed varietyh leads to
more trouble than patent medicine,
and does less good. No man, unless
he Is an officer of the law. or resi-
dent of a region where there is no law,
needs or should need, to carry con-
cealed weapons. But the fact remains
that many of them do, and that our
homicide rate is one of the great
scandals of the age.
Perhaps a crusade urged on by the
Big Fellows Nho made the patent
medicine vendors be good, would help
considerable in this direction. They
claim not to care for expenses, and
might try 1t as an experiment.-Atchi-
son Globe
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06
How ..Fire Water" Originated.

When the Hudson Bay Trading COM
pany began its trading among the In
dams it was found that by selling the
Indians liquor they could more easily
be induced to trade their peltries.
The first whisky, or intoxicant of in
ferior quality, was distilled in England
and brought to America in large bar
rels, but in transporting it overland it
was found more convenient to divide
it into small kegs.
The traders soon became aware of
the fact that by diluting the whisky
with water more furs could be obtain
ed. This was practiced for some time.
but the Indians learned that good
whisky poured on a fire would cause it
to fame up, whereas, had the whisky
been diluted. the fire would be
quenched. 1t was by this simple ex-
pertinent that the term fire water"
became a common word among the
Indians.
A chief who had experienced the
bad effects of whisky among his peo-
pie said it was most certainly distilled
from the hearts of wildcats and the
tongues of women, from the effects it
produced.-Robert Ta,hamont, in the
Red Man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-06

ENTERED July / 1870. a. second-class
natter at the pastqn.iee at Topeka, Kan-s
nder the act Of congress-1
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-12-15
T|FFIN BOWLERS
WIN THE CONTEST
Marion Team Beaten 61
Pins in Three Games Last
Night.
Had Defeated Tiffin in First
Three SO Pins-Luck
Was Bad.

Nosed out by eight pins after Zeisl-
or and Sanford fell down i'm the last
game, Tinin bowlers defeated the Mar
ion Stars at Tinin last night when
the last three games of series of six
were rolled. The Marion team journ-
eyed to Tifiin with a lead of 90 pins
which were gathered when the Tinin
tea mrolled here sometime ago but
team rolled here sometime ago but
added seven pins TO IA
70 Haggerty the anchor Of the Tiff
fin team, his fellow hOwlers may attri-
bute their victory. Beginning with 1S0
In the first game, the 200 mark in
the second and finishing with a total
o: 24i in the third game, he made the
high average of 2ll. McRill was Mar
ions best roller. He averaged 1876 2-3.
with but one more strike, the Mar
ion team would have walked away
with a win but it was not forthcom-
ing. In the last game, Sanford hit
streak OF tough luck and his score
tumbled to 126. Close to Sanford as
a contestant for the low score prize
in the same game was zeisler with
1iO. Score
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-12-15
CHICAGO GRAIN.

Chicago, Dec. 15.-Openlng grain:
Wheat-May up 3-S; JuIy up "a.
Corn-May up is; July up Ia.
Oats May and july up 1-S.
Provisions higher
Noon-Wheat-May up 3-S; July up
II.
Corn-May and July up IA.
Oats-May and July up is.
Provisions higher.
Close-Wheat-May up Ii; July up
1 is.
Corn-May and July up 1-2.
Oats-May and July up Is
Provisions steady.
Wheat-May open % 3-4 close 90;
July open "a is, close 95 IA.
Corn-May open G3 1-3, close g.;
July open SO 1-2, close Ga.
Oats-May open As 5-S, close 45 ga;
July open 45 5-S, close As "a.
ork-January open 1855; close 1855;
May open 1906 close 10.
Lard-January open 9.O5, close 910;
May open $40, close 935.
Ribs-January open S22, close S,22;
May open S.47, close S.52.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-12-15

IN New York He refuses to listen to
the appeals OF his tencnts to remodel
and improve the rapidly delapidoting
building. In the course OF few years
this millionaire apd politician marries
and takes his honeymoon on private
Yacht. lie employs the eldest son from
enc Of the families in this tenement
Ignorant OF the fact that the young
man Is in n consumptive condition
llc takes sick on the yacht however.
and Mrs, Bond nurses the unfortunate
fellow. He dies and the young bride
soon developes tubcrcular trouble. She
is taken to n hospital and i'm propitia-
ton of his past neglect, Mr.. Bond gives
R:eat sums OF money TO establish sta
tions where consumptivcs may have
the proper care.
Plans were contaminated for this at
the meeting and two excellent papers
were rad. Mrs. u. o. Uncaphor dis
cussed the Progress Of Nihilism"
and Mrs. j. d. Guthcry "Russia's
Foreign Policy"
The next meeting viii bc held Jan
Gary eighth at the library.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-12-15
ADVANCE CLUB Will
RUN THEATRE MONDAY

The advance club is proving itself
progressive and all that its name inn
lilies by the efforts 1t Is putting forth
to sell 10000 red cross seals and gain
for Marion county n station and nurse
who will care, free of charge, for
tubercular and consumptive people. Al
ready a1arge number Of these stamps
have been sold, but at the meeting
which was held yesterday afternoon
at the home of Mrs. c. II. Lennon,
arrangements were made to attempt
an entirely new scheme by whicn
these little seals may be sold.
Mr.. w. ID. Clark proprietor of the
Columbia theatre located opposite the
court house. donated to the club the
Use of his theatre for Monday after
room and evening. Everyone who pro-
cures a ticket will receive y. hve-cent
package of seals and the proceeds will
go to the Advance Club for this pur-
pose.
The film which will be shown is the
"Expcrionce of John Bond" and is the
parallel of an actual experience. John
Bond is the owner of a great tenement