davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20

Delving back into old history, the Phila-
deIphia Inquirer has found that America,
now the gladstone home OF tobacco users,
was the most severe prosecutor Of the
smoker in the earlier days of the weed"
Tobacco was only permitted to be planted
in small quantities for mere necessity as
a medicine and TO be taken privately by
cid men,"
The New England colonists were not per-
mitted to use II or to purchase II In a tav-
ern. No man was allowed 10 smoke to-
bacco publicly, nor even I'm his own house
in the presence Of strangers. In some town
ships a medical certificate had to be pro-
cured before a man might smoke.
Instances are found of enactments
against tobacco. Prominent among these
is that issued by King James l. On &C
count Of the use OF tobacco having become
universal among the ordinary folk, the now
celebrated "counterblast of tobacco" was
published against a custom which was de-
seribed as being 'loathsome to the eye
hateful 10 the nose, harmful to the brain,
dangerous TO the lungs and, in the black
sinking fumes thereof, nearest resem-
bling the horrible stygian smoke Of the
pit that Is bottomless."
In 1904 King James endeavored 70 abolish
it's use in England by imposing a heavy
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Oh, You Goose Liver

Nothing is better" said Gordon Bleu, as
he sat back full 10 repletion and happy
than foie gras, or Eat goose liver. A foie
gras Is the size of a two-pound steak, It is
as white as milk, and 1t tastes rather like
ground peanut butter. Yet, so light and
ethereal is a foie gras, greenhorns would
take It for something powdered up and
whipped like cream.
You know how they get these livers:
They shut up the goose. and they, stuff
him with food forced through hose. He
must eat, whether he wants to or not.
He is exactly like the suffragette hunger
strikers in London whom the home office
fed through stomach pumps.
1T takes years to fatten a goose to the
point where his great white liver is as big
a. a foot ball but lately a genius has
arisen in France who will fatten him In a
few months
This quick cheap fattening is accom-
plished by the addition Of salts OF sorrel
or blnoxalate OF potash, TO the goose's food.
The binoxalate OF potash works like a
charm. The only trouble with the superb
Hvers Il produces is that these livers. con-
tanning oxalate OF potassium, occasionally
Kill those who eat them
Gordon Bleu smiled ironically.
''But in these DAYS Of industrialism," no
SAID. when property Is sacred and life
Cheap-that doesn't matter"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Wifely Discipline

A popular revivalist had been holding
services at a town in Mississippi, when
heavy rain came on, and he accepted an
invitation to pass the night at the house
of one Of the townsmen. Observing the
preachers drenched clothing, the host
brought out a suit Of his own and sent
his guest upstairs to don It.
The good man had made the change and
was on his way back to the sitting room,
when the woman of the house came out
of another room, holding in her hands the
big family bible, out of which the minister
was TO be invited to read chapter before
the family went to bed
She was not, however in very amiable
frame Of mind, for careful housewives are
likely to be put out of sorts by the advent
Of unexpected company. Seeing the revival
list in his borrowed garments, she mistook
him for her husband, and as he passed in
front of her she lifted the book and brought
Il down sharply on his head
"Therer she exclaimed Take that for
asking him TO stay all nightl"-Lippin-
colts
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20

over in the corner Of the roundhouse,
where OF Agnes, the biggest fool en-
CINE on the road. was putting away her
Indignation at being forced to work on
double-header on the Belt Line grade an
engine wiper slowly was going his rounds
Of the locomotive. flarihs his oil lamp here
and there, and. meantime, singing;
Casey Jones mounted to de cabin;
Casey Jones. VIII his odahs IN his han 80
Casey Jones mounted TO de cabin
AM stahted on his Journey to de prom
ised Ian.
After that followed 10 or SO more varie-
gated and sundry verses. Then the man
who was Just "iimmying around became
imbued with a spirit OF curiosity.
THAT things gone all over the country
hasn't u2" he asked.
The engine wiper paused. Then as he
srneared a stately course OF grease across
his face, he spoke.
Il knOwed him we'll" he said.
Who?''
why. Casey Jones"
Casey -2'
sure; he's as real as anybody that ever
pulled a throttle. lie used TO live out IN
california OF Jimmy was wiper on IN
Santa Fe. He and Casey Jones, course that
wasn't his real name. but Jimmy just put II
I IN there TO make things rhyme were reBu-
/ lar pards Every night, when Casey
come in from his run, Jiminy'd have some
new verse fixed up for him, somthihg like
/ this:
They took po' Casey to de eemetree,
All in a wood kimona jus bout six 1901
They aid him down in de col col groun'
/ An hi weepin family members stahted
back 10 town.
Casey Jones didn't mind IT, Course. Il
all started in a joke. and gradually him and
Jimmy began fixing up verses and verses
They started Casey Jones out on the road
and they got him in wrecks and they took
him 10 the underwriters and they had his
wife see him there something like this:
Well de engines bumped an Casey flew,
/ over de headlight an de pilot, too.
/ Wife next day seed his face all patched
/ said he a made 8 good entry II he hadn't
got scratched.
/ And al the time tn other fellows AZ
the roundhouse were getting onto the thing
and they like the tune and they began
singing Il and fixing up verses 10 Il, and
then Il began TO get out OF the rOundhOuse
ana into the city. Then couple Of yaude-
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Smokers Early Trials

penalty on spokers and in 1913 enacted
that no planter should cultivate more
than 100 pounds in Virginia.
During the reign OF Elizabeth there was
issued an edict against the use OF tobacco,
the reason for such an enactment being
lest Englishmen should become like the
barbarians from whom its use was de-
rived"
In 1880, when the use Of tobacco came
within the means Of the peRsantry, Shah
Abbas prohibited its use in Persia. As a
consequence Of this. It is stated that many
of his subjects, rather than abandon it's
use fled 20 the mountains. Smoking was
forbidden among the peasantTy Of Russia
under pain of having the nose cut off In
the year 1868 the council Of the Canton OF
Aprenzell, Switzerland, cited all smokers
before them, whom they punished.
Smoking was made a capital offense in
Turkey by Amurath the Third, and in
Russia a special tribunal was constituted
for the sole purpose Of melting out punish
ment to those who INDUCED IN the habit OF
smoking. This remained in existence until
the eighteenth century. "a
In Constantinople every Turk who was
found smoking was punished by having a
pipe transfiXed through his nose, with the
result that today no Turk wears his face
without some smoking utensr stuck in It.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Selecting the Early Spring Wardrobe

little spring frock of cloth and foulard
combined. The cloth was used for the
apron front and back and the foulard
for the sleeves and side sections. Old
blue was the color of the CLOTH and the
foulard, which had small black figure,
showed this color in the foundation. A
yoke and collar of Irish crochet completed
the costume.
In one of the smartest out-Of-doOr7 cos
tunes of the spring season the waist was
q very simple affair with two wide tucks
forming a panel effect. The yoke skirt
which fastened on the hip an inverted pleat
at each side The material was pearl
gray cashmere and the trimming of black
silk braid.
OF colors the favorites so far are a
brilliant and beautiful cherry; next is a
superb, true emerald green. Pink in all
tones is suggested on the advance sum
mer frocks, while all the champagne and
corn colors are much in vogue. At this
time Of year black and white combina-
lions have a great reign of popularity, and
this year is certainly no exception to the
rule. There is no limit to the combina-
tons of black and white. The smartest
satin coat and skirt costumes are Of black
relieved with collar and revers Of white
MORE while the newest importations of
advance summer costumes shaw a number
of white batiste frocks trimmed with girdle
and deep border OF black velvet. and the
white linen and duck jackets and long
dust coats are many Of them adorned with
black velvet collar and cuffs.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20

In his book lately published in the Hun
garian language and translated into al
most every modern tongue, DIR. Lorand
says that from the recent reports OF the
register offices Of Austria, Germany,
France and England it appears that we are
justified in assuming that though life is
usually limited to IS or 60 years, it may
occasionally be prolonged to 100 or even
more, by the operation of certain internal
and external agencies.
BY studying these we may eventually
be able to prolong the lives Of many indi-
viduals beyond 50 or even 80, and to pro-
long our term Of youthfulness by ten or
twenty years, says the British Medical
Journal We need no longer grow old at
40 or so. This can be brought about ny
improving the functions of a certain few
of the glandular structures of the body,
providing one or more of the main organs
have not already been too gravely com
promised by incurable organic disorders.
To prevent old age coming on too soon
the first condition necessary is the posses
sion OF healthy ductless glands (ehiet
among them being the thyroid, the ad-
renals. the pancreas and the liver, and
this depends upon heredity.
Marriage is an invaluable aid in the
struggle against old age. II married life
is one Of the best means of resisting the
approach OF old age; on the other hand, It
is positively certain that unhappy mar
riages are the surest means Of Fastening
its oncoming.
To avoid premature old age and early
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
The Tired Business Man
BY WAITER a. SINCLAIR

Rather odd. that soldiers out for drill
should go heavily armed with cartridges"
observed Friend wife.
"Ah. but they are the olive drab branch
OF peace reminded the Tired Business
Man Anyway, they re in the Big League
and have rightEtO 90 to Texas for spring
training. Who says they never come back2
And the neigrbors across the southern
fence don't need 10 train because they
have names like a STRING OF Pullman cars,
thus constituting a train. as It were.
Anyway, the short story writer's had
20 have something to use. They've worked
the aeroplane and the Imaginary Balkan
kingdom 70 death and need little Of that
. wrile, rugged plainsman stuff TO keep che
agoif from the library Full many a hack
writer can now afford to beta hack or taxi
cab rider, as the result OF the fresh i'm
petus given the Inspiration. Rapid fire
authors, who write from the hip about
smoking revolvers and smoking cigarettes
and chaps vaqueros. haciendados, or
dodoes, as the case may be. and all that
sort Of thing. are Just naturally walow-
ing around in that eent-a-word restoration
OF confidence and confidence games.
"As for the song writer's. Oh. say, Doc!
n they're not putting up wars horrid front
and making 1t more horrid miss a guess.
Already three Suits are working night
and day to turn out the goodby -bugle-
march-and- april-away junk Men with
cracked ice on their brows are deserving
the more lucrative occupation Of writing
advertising rhymes to the self Sacrificing,
patriotic labor OF turning out that martial
hurrah line OF goods for the western trade.
And are they up against It? Believe
muhl It's no ''sinecure TO initiate the
divine afflatus and hash out rhymes about
such places as chihuahua Guadalupe,
Zacatecas, GgAnatuato, Quitovaquita,
Oaxaca, GuadaIajara delayed on account
of scarcity OF lower case as, Tabasco-
that's hot one!-Auguascalientes Papgo
Of mama let's him), Popocatepetl, and
points west on Track Numbeh Umph
Think Of an ordinary one-cylinder song
writer struggling with cut-out puzzles OF
Byllables like those. or a balladist could
exude them. Being a patriot I've hurled
myself into the breach and put out the
s6nowing patrietlo- ballad. to, be taken with
stereoptcon slides and sung by a gent in
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Loyal to the Limit

In the service OF Richmond family is
an old darby who In one capacity or an
other, has served them since his birth.
lie is now the cOachman.
OF recent years the old fellow has grown
a bit testy and insubordinate, giving much
trouble and annoyance to his mistress Not
long ago his conduct became unbearable,
and the lady OF the house decided to dis
miss him. Calling him into her presence,
she said:
Moses. ! cannot stand this any longer.
You must look for another situation You
will leave here az the end OF the month %
The aged darkey regarded her In silent
amusement for a while, and then the
characteristics loyalty" came 10 the sur
face.
Il amt gwine 10 do anything OF de Kind
missy" he said. Il drove 80 to de church
10 be baptized / drove so 70 80 marriage:
and nm stay 20 drive 80 to 80 funeral. -
LippincottA
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
To Live to a Hundred

death we have to follow these rules:
Wear loose collars because tight col
lar presents obstacles to the free circula-
ton of the blood through the thyroid.
DO not take too much meat because
abundance of meat alters thesaduotless
glands IS So
Take large quantities OF milk this being
the extract Of various glands, and espe-
cialy that of the thyroid.
BE as much as possible in the open air
and especially in the sunshine, and take
plenty Of exrcise, taking care to breathe
deeply and regularly.
Take a bath daily, and in addition, once
week or every two weeks take Turkish
or vapor bath.
Wear porous clothing, light hat and low
shoes.
Go early to bed and rise early.
Sleep in a very dark, very quiet room
and with window open, and do not sleep
less than six or more than seven and a
half hours.
Have one complete days rest in each
week, without even reading or writing
Avoid mental disturbances or worries
Be temperate in the use of alcohol and
also in the use OF coffee or tea.
Avoid places that are overheated, espe-
cially by steam, and badly ventilated
Replace or re-enfOrce the functions OF
the organs which may have become
changed by age or disease, by means of
the extracts from the corresponding or
gans of healthy animals.
And never say die.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Which Nobody Can Deny

That a picture may be badly hung even
when well executed.
That the more pork goes up. the less
likely II is 10 go down.
That many gilt-edged securities oonfins
their guilt TO the edges.
That present-day aeronauts are the only
high filters ever to have made money at il.
That there's lot Of difference between.
the high cost Of living and the cost OF high
living.
That the passive passenger in a crowded
car who pays for the right to stand up Is
not standing up for his rights.-Warwick
James Price in Lippincotts.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20

dress SUIT with silk handkerchief across
the lower portion Of the shirt bosom. 4
few chords. please!
Molly Coddle, don't you hear the jingoes
blowing.
Don't you hear the Joe cannon rear?
And it's now to the front I am going,
To maneuvcrs. name for war
To the land of the hot. hot tamale
I'm ordered at dsybreak to go,
From my Molly. oh gOly! what folly,
To make faces at the foe
COARSE
"Goodby Molly Coddle
To the Rio Grande IN toddle
For a practice drill
And a fever pill
l must eat the mess camp mixtures.
CTune changes to Georgia)
'Juarez! Juarez the place the races run.
Murray Juarez well swelter in the sun.
Wen march away where war abounds,
And call off fights because wet grounds,
Too cloudy for moving pictures!
That's as far as l got at the first sit
ting, but l defy you TO find any more
sense or originality in # than you can
find in the ordinary run of regular and
militia war ballads Some class, eh?''
Wasn't there any place excepting
Texas, asked Friend wife, where they
could mobiize?"
Sure. Mobile, Alabama" said the Tired
Business Man.
Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20

THE late Eli Perkins" said magazine
editor. had an apt way Of driving home
his points with little stories.
Perkins once offered me a sketch At a
bargain price. l accepted the sketch
eagerly. and asked for more at the same
figure.
But Perkins. laughing souriy. shook bis
head.
HE said reminded him Of a tramp 10
whom Il genial old lady gave a nickel,
saying:
Here. my good man. take this nicksl
and drink my health in a glass OF beer
Thank you. ma'am said the tramp.
But you look 30 infirm. hadn't better
drink two beers ? New York Tribune.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Had EN- Two Ways

since the abolition Of the pass" re-
marked a railway man. Officers Of trans
portation companies have been relieved OF
much importuningN from persons DESTROYS
Of riding free; but now and then an in
stance occurs OF some individual trying TO
get the best. OF the companies.
zone OF the funniest I've ever heard OF
came within the experience Of an agent Of
a company whose steamboats, ply the great
lakes. It is a standing rule OF this com
pany that clergymen and Indians can
travel on it's boats for half-fare. A short
time ago the agent In question was sp-
preached by an Indian preacher from
Canada, who asked for free transportation
on the ground that he was entitled 20 one
half rebate because he was an Indian, and
the other ham because he was a clergy
man"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Flooring the Preacher

A prominent minister, wishing to get
the opinion Of the men OF his congregation
on some important questions, sent them
list for their answers. Among the questions
was, why are men less interested In re-
igion than women One facetious fellow
replied:
Although the great sabatier would say
Man Is incurably religious think have
seen some men permanently cured OF the
malady. But his interest In women is
deeper than that. and no antitoxin has as
yet been discovered. So / would say, doc
tor, II asked for an opinion right OF the
bat, that men are less interested In reli-
gion than in women because, while their
interest in the former may be called an
acquired characteristics, their interest In
the latter Is innate and inherited. Hoping
this may be OF some service"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
nres.ea for nc Water.

Colonel Edward de Veaux MoFrell Of
Philadelphia criticised at the Bar HarboT
Horse show the two eXtravagant liveries
and too bright fittings OF coach.
1T is show, pure show" said Colonel
Morren. and in show there is always
something ridiculous. For example:
THE German emperor. got up in the
sumptuous uniform OF an admiral, said to
the crown prince one afternoon:
"Td like you 20 come out with me
"The crown prince. remarking with sur
prise his fathers superb naval dress.
asked;
But where are you going, sirY
ITO the aquarium was the reply"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20

one OF the shopping ceuters Is distresstnsiy
confusing Whether to invest in some Of
the exquisitely pretty figured hafistes
which are offered now at the tempting ad-
vance season prices, or to buy as Originally
intended a dress length OF striped tussah
which is to be made up az once and was
the original object OF the expedition is a
grave question when there Is enough for
only one or the other. or again, is Il
wisest 20 purchase material for one Of the
delightfully."- smart little short taffeta
Jackets that can be worn with each and
every gown In the outfit during the sum
mer as wen as in. the spring months, or
20 buy the material for an essentially prao-
tieal but perhaps not, quite 50 smart a
Ions cloth wrap? Really these are serious
problems when there Is but a small dress
allowance 10 meet them with.
This ought TO be a good year for the
woman Of economical aspirations. for never
was such scant material 10 be allowed for
IN ordering a dress iangth and IL Is also
sSyeaF when simplicity Is a genuine aim.
fsimplicity OF hne, simplicity In effect. and
actually considerable simplicity OF detail
are features Of the spring and summer
fashions. There are no fussy little ruffles
nor fluffy sleeves. The first impression
OF the fashious-uf rhp moment Is OF 4
decided and infinitely pleasing simplicity.
The figure shows a decidedly atracuYs
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Bribing His Wife

Mrs. Carrie Chapman Gait, in an eIa-
quent address in New York, said OF a
reactionary senator:
He declares that women have this lib.
erty and that liberty. He offers rs this
undesirable privilege and that undesirable
privilege. He Is just like Mrs. Smiths hus
band
my husband is the most considerate
and thoughtful person in the world, said
Mrs. Smith to me
How? How So? I asked.
He has given me- said Mrs. Smith a
new writing desk. and he has actually had
two keys made for il. 80 that, in case I
lose mine. he'll still have one. Did you
ever hear OF such kind thoughtfulness?' "
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
The Real Casey Jones

vile fellows got hold Of the thing. sang II
one night on the stage and since then the
blooming engineers song has gone all over
the country. Yep, 1 knowed him we'll"
Then again through the roundhouse came
the words:
He didn't stop 70 watah an he didn't stop
70 coal,
Ran his oil engine In a 40-foot hole.
Finally got a derrick, pulled him out by his
feet,
With tn 'ception Of his head he was all
complete
Casey Jones 'ception OF his head,
Casey Jones, he was al complete
Casey Jones, 'ception-
There was a wild rush OF steam and the
singing was silenced. or Agnes. stin angry
at that double-header proposition, had re-
belled --Kansas City Journal
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20

NEW YORK, March 1s.--The city dweller,
II she would know the exact season at
the year. must keep calendar near at
hand. so confusing are the shop windows
with their displays Of sheerest summer
fabrics new spring hats and dainty para
soils side by side with wonderful bargains
in furs and heavy homespun suitings. With
only a small amount IN the poeketboookh,
and that amDunt TO pay for an entire
spring and summer outfit, walk through
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Daily Health Hint

Colds are not only caused by draughts,
wet feet and other obvious exposures. One
cause not sufficiently estimated for It's true
danger. Is the breathing Of our air. Piehty
Of good oxygen prevents the taking OF cold
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20
Psychic Cruelty.

The Judge-Can you describe any specific
band7
Whenever he had anything TO say 10 me
he'd call me up on the telephone and say
IL, and then disconnect before I had a
chance TO talk back to him-"-Chieago
News.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20

IL on the ruffled stream OF life
Sereneiy you would float.
Go throw your ancient oars away
And buy q motor boat
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-03-20

Moss mas been forced 70 make an impress
sion in hard steel BY exploding dynami,a
upon. Il,