davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holbrook argus., 1911-11-21
Starts Much Trouble

If all people knew that neglect of constipation would result in severe indigestion, yellow jaun- dice or viru1ent liver trouble they would soon take Dr. Kings New Life Pills, and end it. It's the only safe way, Best for bilious ness, headache, dyspepsia, chills and debility. 25c at all drug gists.
Holbrook argus., 1911-11-21
Gourn,et's Idea.

The French statesman, NJ Moh's' ,s the proprietor of brandy ct whioh he is very proud. The story goes tnsI once when King Edward and the late o eneral Cslliffet were dining togeth-
 Monis brandy was served, anu I1i,,. Edward drank his portion on st
 ulp. Gslliffet, connoisseur. stared. ,,e..," he exclaimed, you have com
 crirei" King Edward laugh I' '1,,n VI" he asked Brandy Ike .h,+ n.. the reply, should be say ores vo, should lift 1t gently. psss ;. ,na,r r,,, nose, enjoy the aroma. and then nut it back cn the table e4. 4h ?" the king ssid- Af.a +ho, siYs talk about it
Holbrook argus., 1911-11-21
WHAT HEARST
 THINKS OF ASHURST
New York, Nov. ?, 1911. Henry F. Ashurst,

I1NIIl hoIIdI oly
 Bisbee, Ariz.
 Very delighted to hear of your nomination for so distinguished an office in so admirable a way. Am instructing Los Angeles pa pers tu be of all possible assis tanCe to democratic state ticket Am sure democrats do not need support, but it is pleasure tor me to extend it. My congratu- lations to you and to the citi- zens of the state who have made so excellent a choice.
 Apropos of what Mir. Hearst has to say on the candidacy of Ashurst, 1t will not be uninter esting to read some editorial squibs from the Douglas Inter- national American in connection with the vicious attack upon
 
 the candidate by the editor of the Douglas Dispatch. The arti cles follow:
 Judging by the language in the Dispatch this morning Henry Ashurst will most likely provide another stage exhibition on his next visit to Douglas. This thing of personal abuse ot a can didate will sometimes lead to Oc currenCes which are unpleasant It is too bad that our neighbOI cannot profit by the stald anc steady gait of the International
 The attempt to slur Henry Ashurst by referring to him a' "Orphan Henry IS not so prom inent these days. Ashurst wa , an orphan when he was a smal boy, along with seven brot het
 and sisters. That he cared 10
 his widowed mother and fOunt
 time to prepare for the honor
 able duties which he has alread,
 faithfully performed and 10 be come the honored candidate c :, the democrats of Arizona tor tn : highest office in their gift show : that he indeed, is made of tn : stuff that will make good despit all unfavorable conditions. e Another visit of Henry Ashurs > to Douglas will about make clean sweep Tn this city tor tn democratic ticket. Mir. Ashurst
 plea for the democratic tiCke C was one that displayed hi e earnestness for all his colleague - and his defense of Mark Sm1t
 from the would-be islanders wa is both able and truthful. It is too bad that Henry Asf
 urst could not remain in Dougla l. today to listen to the continue
 applause that kept on whereve
 there was a gathering on tf n streets of those who heard h
 remarks regarding the Urea ment he had received at u 7 hands of the republican press ,r the territory.
Holbrook argus., 1911-11-21

Mack Setima and Claude Pol ma. of Keams Canyon. were wis itors in town Wednesday.
 w. H. Clark. Commissioner ot Immigration, and w. F. Will Hams, County Assessor, both ol the county seat, were in town Tuesday and attended the meet ing of the Republicans that eve ming.
Holbrook argus., 1911-11-21

last Saturday well supplied with deer, but the real hunt only com menced after they got Tn town, when party of three citizens quietly stole away with three ot the deer and for a while had the hunters guessing. After a thor ough search in the business dis. trict the deer were located and the hunters are again in pos ession of their prizes and have been busy for the past few days dealing out liberal portions of the same to their many friends. C.J. Spellmire returned this week from the Phoenix Fair and informs us that the sheep the firm of SpellmIre and Lyons had on exhibition there were award ed prizes. Mir. Spellmire made a present of these prize winners to the Agricultural Experimental College.
 For pains in the side or chest dampen a piece of flannel with Chamberlain $ Linim ent and bind it on over the seat of pain. There is nothing better. For sale by all dealers.
 Born-To Mir. and Mrs. A. H. Asbury, a boy, Monday morn ing. Mother and baby getting along nicely.
 T. J. Bourne of Los Angeles was business visitor here this week among the railroad men. D. B. Thurston, now of Los Angeles is a visitor here with his many friends.
 Pat O'Toole. the Canyon Diablo sheep man was a business visitor in town this week.
 Dick Duggar returned this week from the coast, where he has been engaged in railroading.
 Mrs. Geo. Irwin returned yes terday from her visit with rel atives and friends in the East.
 There is little danger from a cold or from an attack of the grip except when followed by pneumonia and this never hap pens when Cham berlain's Cough Remedy is used. This remedy has won it's great reputation and extensive sales by it's remark able cures of colds and grip ant can be relied upon with implicit confidence. For sale by all deal CTS.
 Brakeman Geo. Hill return ed yesterday from his visit il Los Angeles and other coas cities.
 C. M. LaPrade, Jim Collier, C, Perkins, Lenard Fenton ant Frank Perkins returned from tn mountains Thursday after a sue cessful- hunt.
 Dr. and Mrs. D. c. Brown lief this week for Gleason, Arizona one of the new and promising mining towns in the southerl part of the territory, where the. will make their future home.
 Born-To Mir. and Mrs. Wayn Hungerford girl, Sunda morning.
 Thorwald Larson and C. N C. Houck of Holbrook wei visitors here the first ofthe wee taking ln the Democratic ralle! II am pleased to recommen Chamberlain's Cough Remedy ( the best thing know of an safest remedy for coughs. colo and bronchial trouble" write Mrs. l.. B. Arnold of Denve Colo. "We have used it repea edly and it has never failed give relief" For sale by { dealers.
 Mrs. C. L. Hathaway and u baby left this week on visit
Holbrook argus., 1911-11-21
ri... feet.

"Criggs imbibes TA oer ,IeeV
 Yes, Griggs says vA en ms syste" ls illuminated he always \ 'hs' " !s success in life"
Holbrook argus., 1911-11-21
Defined.

What Is pessimist, paf" .rr
 "A pessimist, my son, is tan Who thinks life Is game of Tag and~he --is always It
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09
Either Hand Good.

By formal action of the War De
Dartment any doubt as to discrimina-
lions against left-handed candidates
for the army has been removed. IN
preparing recently 20 make nomina-
ton for West Point congressman
asked the department if the fact that
his nominee was left-handed would
operate as a bar to his admission to
West Point.
AS the question never before had
been raised, the surgeon general OF
the army was asked for an opinion on
the subject That official reported
that a left-handed cadet may not prop
erIy be considered as physically dis
qualified.
1t is considered as certain that
there have been cadets at West Point
who we're left-handed, but this fact
seems never to have occasfoned com
ment. They probably acquired the
use of the right hand, so essential to
the uniformity of movement necessary
in military organization.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09
WHEN AMAN
MARQIfS III
BUE0A[lY ROBENTS 0lN5ElARI Al
cALI77OP. OF TIE CIRCULAR eSIAIRcASE-
TriE NAN IN. LOWER TEN, ETC

care of Union Nitrate company.
Iquique. Chilli.
Dear Old Man:
| think / was fully week trying to
drive out of my mind my last glimpse
Of you with your sickly grin, pretend
ing to be tickled to pieces that the
only white man within 200 miles of
your shack was going on a holiday.
You old bIufferi l used to hang over
the rail of the steamer, on the way
up, and see you standing as | left you
beside the car with its mule and the
Indian driver, and behind you a mil
lion miles Of soul-desroying pampa.
Never mind, Jack; sent yesterday by
mail steamer the cigarettes, pipes and
tobacco, canned goods and poker
chips. Put in some magazines, too,
and the collars. Don't know about the
ties-guess it won't matter down
there.
Nothing happened on the trip One
of the engines broke down three days
out, and | spent all my time below
decks for 48 hours Chief engineer
raving with D. rs. Got the engine
fixed in record time, and haven't got
my hands clean yet. 1t was bully.
With this send the papers, which
will tell you how / happen to be here,
and why l have leisure to write you
three days after landing. If the sit
uation were not so ridiculous, it would
be maddening. Here l am, off for
holiday and congratulating myself
that | am foot free and heart free
yes, my friend, heart free-here I am,
shut in the house of a man | never
saw until last night, and wouldn't
care If | never saw again, with a lot
of people who never heard of me, who
are almost equally vague about South
America, who play as hard at bridge
as ever worked at building one
forgive this, won't you? the novelty
has gone to my head, and who belong
to the very class of extravagant, lux
ury-loving, non-producing parasites
(isnt that what we called them?) that
you and used to revile from our lofty
Andean pinnacle.
To come down to earth: Here we
are, six women and five men, includ-
ing policeman, not a servant in the
house, and no one who knows how to
do anything They are really i'm
mensely interesting, these people:
They all know each other very well,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09
SYNOPSIS.

James Wilson or Jimmy as he IS called
oy his friends. Jimmy was rotund ana
looked shorter than he really was. fls
ambition in life was to be taken seriously
out people steadily refused to do so, MS
art Is considered a huge joke, except 10
himself, II he asked people to dinner eV-
eryone expected a froltc. Jimmy marrles
Bella Knowles; they live together a year
and are divorced. Jtnmy'S friends ar
range 70 celebrate the first anniversary
of his divorce. The party is in full swing
when Jimmy receives a telegram from his
Aunt Selma, who will arrive In four hours
to visit him and his wife. Jimmy gets his
FUNDS from Aunt Selma and after ne mar
RES she doubles his allowance. He neg
IeCts to tell her of his divorce. Jimmy
takes Kit into his confidence, he tries TO
devise some way so that his aunt viii not
learn that he has no longer a wife. He
suggests that Kit play the hostess for one
night be Mrs. Wilson pro tenn. Aunt Sc
una arrives and the deception WORKS gu, OUT
as planned. Jim's Jap servant is taken
Ill Bella, Jimmy's divorced wife, enters
the house and asks Kit who is being ia
ken away in the ambulance? Bella Insists
It is Jim. Kit tells her Jim is well ana IS
IN the house. Bella tells Kit II WASH
Jim she wanted to see, but Takahira, tile
Jap servant. HARRISON steps out on the
porch and discovers a man tacklng
card on the door. He demands an eX,
PLANTATION. The man points 10 the piacaro
and HARRISON sees the word 'STnaiIp9I1k
printed on 1t. The guests suddenly realize
their predicament. the women shed tears
the men consider Il good Joke Harp,
son pleads with Kit to tell him the rear
situation Of things She finally tells him
of BeIIa's incarceration in the basement
The all important question arises as TO
who IS to prepare the meals and perform
the other household duties. HARRISON fin
ally solves the matter He writes out
slips containing the various departments
of his or her duties. Kit attempts 70
make an omelet for Aunt Selma, but fails
IN the attempt and is In a very nervous
state when HARRISON comes to her rescue
and tells her how to make It.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09
Particularly the Ladies.

Not only pleasant and refreshing Con
the taste. but gently cleansing and sweet
enng to the system, Syrup Of Figs and
Elixir Of SIENNA is particularly adapted
to ladies and children, and beneficial in
all cases m which a-whoIesome, strength
ening and effective laxative should be-.
used. It's perfectly safe at all times and.
dispels colds, headaches and the pains
caused by indigestion and constipation 50
promptly and effectively that ii is the one
perfect family laxative which gives salts
faction to all and is recommended by
millions Of families who have used it and
who have personal knowledge of its ex-
ceIence.
Its wonderful popularity, however, has
led INSCRIPTIONS dealers to offer inita-
lions which act unsatisfactory. There
fore, when buying, to get its beneficial
effects. always note the full name Of tho
Company-Cahornia Fig Syrup Co.
plainly printed on the front Of every
package Of the genuine Syrup of Figs
and Elixir Of SIENNA.
For sale by all leading druggists. Prog
50 cents per bottle.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09
element, and a Miss Knowles who

element, and a Miss Knowles. whu
came for moment last night to sec
Mrs. Wilson. was caught in the quar-
antine (see papersl. and. after hiding
all night in the basement. is sulking
all day In her room. Her presence
created an excitement out CT all pro-
portion to the apparent cause
From the fact that | have reason to
know that my artist host and his beau
tiful wife are on bad terms. and from
the significant chances with which the
announcement OF Miss Knowles pres
ence was met, the state of affairs
seems rather clear. Wilson impresses
me as a spineless sort. ANYHOW, and
when the lady of the basement shut
herself away from the rest today and
l happened on Jimmy" as they call
him, pleading with her through the
door, | very nearly kicked him down
the stairs. Oh, yes. I'll keep out.
right enough; it isn't my affair.
BY the way, after quarantine and
with the policeman locked in the fur
mace room, pearl necklace and dia-
mond bracelet were stolen, Just ten
Of us to divide the suspicion, Upon
my word, Hal, It's the queerest situa-
ton l ever heard of Which of US did
1t? | make a guess that not a few Of
US are fools, but which Is the knave?
The worst of it is, l am the only I'M
accredited member of the household
This is more scandal than I ever
wrote in my life. Lay it to circum-
scribed environment, and the lack
of 20 miles over the pampa before
breakfast. We have all been vac
cinated, and the ofhcious gentlemen
from the board of health have taken
their grins and their formaldehyde
and gone. Ye gods, how we cough!
The Carlton order will go through
all right, I think. 'Phoned him this
morning If it does, old man, we will
take month in September and ex-
plore the Mercator property.
Do you know, Hal, I have been
thinking lately that you and l stick
too close to the grind. Business is
right enough, but what's the use of
spending ones best ears succeeding
in everything except the things that
are worth while? I'll be thirty sooner
than care to say, and-oh, well, you
won't understand. You'll sit down
there, with the Southern Cross and
the rest of the internal astronomical
galaxy looking down on you, and the
Indians chanting in the village, and
you will think l have grown senti-
mental 1 have not. You and l down
there have been looking at the world
through the reverse end of the glass.
It's bully old world, Hal. and this
is Gods part Of it.
Burn this letter after you read It:
/ suspect it is covered with germs.
Well, happy days, old man.
Yours, TOM.
P. S.-By the way, can't you spare
some of the Indian pottery you picked
up at Callao? l told Mrs Wilson
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09
M AR K E T s
Milwaukee, March g.. 1917.

reamery-Extras, &c Il C,
prints, 271ac; hrsts. 22@ 24c; sec
snds, 10 q 21c; renovated (process)
2sq &c Dairy-Fancy,. 19c.
Cheese - American full cream
Twins 1871 q lac; daisies, Tf@
141zc; Young Americas, I415 q
14$4e;; longhorns, 14& Q15c; low
grades, HOBO; limburger, new
1914 q f21Ae:; brick, liz 012c;
Swiss, 14@15e
Eggs-Current receipts, fresh. as
TO quality, T6c;; recandled, extras
10 a zoe; seconds, 11@13c; April
No. l. recandled, 40 Ice.
Live Poultry-Fowls, Il y c;
roosters- sc; springers, 15c. Tur-
keys, fat. lie.
Potatoes Wisconsin or Michigan,
On track go 43c
Wheat-No. /, northern, 9S0
991Ac No. 2, northern, $50 9714c;
No. 1, durum, $40 SSc; No. 2, du-
rum, So see.
Bar1ey-No. 8. go s4c; medium
$50 SOC.
Corn-No. 8, yellow. 45c.
Oats-No. 3, white, so Josie;
standard, 32c.
Cattle Butchers steers, 5000
SIS heifers. $50 5.25; COWS, 3.75
q 100; stockers and feeders, 3.25 @
AIS; calves, 7.00@S.75.
Hogs-Good, heavy butchers 705
q 100; fair to best, light, $50 q
1926, pigs, 6SO@725
Sheep-Lambs, SIS q 6.25; ewes
$3.50 400
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09
Give a Woman. a chance.

Compulsory military service for
men, urges German female advocate
Of women's right, should be offset By
compulsory domestic service for wom
en-. On the theory that life in bar
rack and drill in the manual of arms
have benefited German manhood, she
asks, why will not life in the kitchen
and exercise in the use of pots and
pans similarly raise German woman
hood?
If Germany ever organizes stand
ing army Of cooks it may force all
Europe to follow it's lead Culinary
CONSUMPTION is a severe measure, bus
when enforced In Germany other ma
tons might be expected to adopt it.
There would be more reason in doing
SO than Ia following Germany's lead
in militarism. There is more real
need of cooks the world over than OF
soldiers. 1t is possible to get along
without fighting, but not without eat
ing
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09
CTO BE CONTINUED)
They Do Thlnqs Better In Franc.


It is no easy matter to be married
in France, says L. Berkeley Smith,
in Success Magazine. One great
thing in favor of so sacred a cere-
mony is that it cannot be hastily per.
formed. 1t is an event requiring
months of preparation of the signing
of endless papers, the certificates OF
birth and the consent Of parents. IN
til at last the wedding day. which has
been arranged for to the entire salts
faction of every one concerned, in
Guiding the legal authorities, arrives.
If marriage is difficult, divorce is even
more so. There are no such romantic
and youthful adventures as clipping on
a $12 capital-handing ten to the
accommodating parson and wiring for
forgiveness with the chang.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09
MURDERER WAS VERY POLITE
Man Sends James L. SIayden Note
of Apology Because He Spoiled
Political Meeting.

Texas may have been spoiled to
ONE extent by civilization in the last
few years, says Representative James
L. Slayden. who has represented the
San Antonio district for seven terms,
but there is maintained there as high
a sense Of courtesy as would be found
anywhere. Sladen cites this expert
ence for an example: He was about
to speak one night in a small town
in his district, when word was brought
to the hall that a wellknown citizen
had just shot another man up the
street. Slayden had travelled far that
day to deliver his address, but he re
allied that everybody would want to
go and have look at the body of the
victim, rather than think about poll
tics, and so he announced that his
meeting would be declared off and no
questions asked.
He had an engagement for the next
night, and was obliged to leave town
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09

and it is Jimmy here, and Dali
there-Dallas Brown, who went to
India with me; you remember my
speaking of him-and they are good
natured, too, except at meal times
The little hostess, Mrs. Wilson, took
over the cooking, and although lunch
con was better than breakfast, the
food still leaves much to the magma
ton
l wish you could see this Mrs Will
son, Hal. You would change a whole
lot of your ideas. She is thorough
bred, sure enough, and of course some
of her beauty is the result of the ex-
quisite care about which you and /
still from our Andean pinnacle-used
to rant But the fact is, she is more
than that She has fire, and pluck, no
end If you could have seen her this
morning, standing in front Of a cold
kitchen range, determined to conquer
it. and had seen the tilt of her chin
when / offered to take over the cook
ing-you needn't grin; can cook, and
you know it-you would understand
what l mean. 1t was so clear that she
was paralyzed with fright at the idea
of getting breakfast, and equally clear
that she meant to do it. By the way,
l have learned that her name was Nc
Nair before she married this would-be
artist, Wilson, and that she is a daugh-
ter of the McNair who financed the
Callao branch!
l have not met the others so init
mately There are two sisters named
Mercer. inclined to be noisy-they are
playing roulette in the next room
now. One is small and dark, almost
Hebraic in type, named Leila and
called Lollie. The other, larger, very
blonde and languishing, and with a
decided preference for masculine so
ciety, even saving the mark, minei
Dallas Browns wife. good looking.
smokes cigarettes when | am not
around-they all do, except Mrs Will
son. Then there is a maiden aunt,
who is Ill today with grippe and ex-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-03-09

applause. The cheering and the hand
clapping at the end lasted four or five
minutes. When Lincoln was intro
duced the crowd broke, out into cheers
for Douglass and kept it up for sew
eral minutes. Lincoln meanwhile wait
ed patiently.
When at length the enthusiasm
had subsidized Lincoln extended his
long right arm for silence. When he
had partly got this he said in an i'm
pressive tone: What an orator Judge
Douglas isl
This unexpected tribute to their
friend set the audience wild with en-
thusiasm. When this applause had
run it's course lincoln, extending his
hand again, this time obtained silence
more easily.
What fine presence Judge Doug
las hast exclaimed the speaker earn
estly Again tumultuous applause fol
lowed the tribute. More and more
easily the tall, gaunt lawyer got ST.
Ience as he went on with admiring ex-
Carnations:
How we'll rounded his sentences
arei How well chosen his language
is. How apt his illustrations are!'
ending up with: What splendid
man Judge Douglas isl
Then when the audience had again
become silent at his call Lincoln
leaned forward and said:
And row, my countrymen, how
many of you can tell me one thing
Judge Douglas said?'
My friend told me he searched his
own heart for an answer and found
none Afterward he asked his father
if he could remember anything Judge
Douglas had said, and the latter re-
membered practically nothing But,
my friend said to me impressively,
even now, half century later, can
recall practically all that Lincoln
said"