The Washington bee., 1911-08-12
Public Men And ThinpS
(By the Sage of the Potomse,)

lneVer did, and really want to enter :
= fin de steele marathon race, my ad
vice is to try to trace down a rumor
A coffee-colored individual called me
iaside the other day, and in tones sub
dued three flights below a whisper
impaired TO me what was d rumol
concerning a friend. Well, | told the
friend, and he got warm--very trip
ical-and we decided to run down the
rumor, locate the rumorer-the guilty
one flagrante delicto, as George Col.
Inns would say, and, just like DR.. Cur
tis did with a certain pOet-laureate
give the originator a cordial introduc-
ton to the law against libel. But
what a deViled-CTab of a time we had
locating the fountain head. 1t was
harder than trying to locate the True
Reformers money. Every person we
Invent to had heard it-some one had
Etold him or her i'll strict confidence
and they themselves had never men
toned It to a soul this side of Ben
nings In our chase to locate the
guilty one we interviewed three men
whose long suit is talking to hear
| themselves talk; two hobbled-skirted
married women who make a speciality
of everybody's business on the town
plat but their own, and one spinster of
uncertain age who could take the first
prize for garrulity in Garrulityville.
But nobody knew nothing" They
all reminded me of Artimus Wards
saying that some people always
know everything till they come to
testify, and then they amt got thim-
bic full of brains nor an inch of mem
ory." To use Pope's line, the aver
age gossiper, when run 10 cover, is
so sWeetly maWkish, and so smooth
ly dull" Well, me and my friend Just
couldn't locate the architect of the ru-
NOR. We ran up and down Rue del
Rumor-that's Eleventh street-went
over in LeDrOit Park where old
Dame Rumor takes her vacation and
perambulations visited a couple of
barber shops where men talk for
prizes, but nobody knew nothing"
We think we know the chocolate drop
in the woodpile, however
And this reminds me that | heard
the other day that a certain lawyer
has papers all prepared for two libel
suits. One is against a lady whose
tongue IS said to prove that perpet-
ual motion has been discovered, and
one is against man whose prOpen-
sity to talk about other people enti-
ties him to use the non de plum of
king of Loquatious Prevaricators."
Both suits were to have been filed two
weeks ago, but mutual friends have
been working on the plaintiffs to not
file the suits. If the suits are filed
there will be a cyclone of excitement
in mauve colored society, and few
ladies who belong TO whist clubs and
gentlemen who represent what tbs"
in cOlOred society may be dragged
into the courts to testify. Even If
the plaintiff does not win, and from
what I've learned he amt got a ghost
of chance of losing the filing of the
suit and trial will put a stop to a lot
of gossipers who take seven days
leave of absence each week to talk
about other peoples business. They
tell me that when one certain lady in
the mauve circle got wind of the
probable suit, knowing she had relay
ed the rumor at a whist party, she
went off into a trance that lasted for
three days of twenty-four hours each.
, If the suits are filed there'll be some
, thing doing, and not a fe wpeople
will find it convenient to have in
serted in The Bee that they "have
been called out of the city suddenly
on important business" Now "a
white man done told me" this.
Dr. Mcneil some time ago cleaned
his spark plugs, timed his engine,
ground his valves, adjusted his car
bureter. oiled" up his differential,
coaxed his magnetic, cooked his steer
ing knuckle, and stopped the squeak
in his mudguards, and then took the
train for way down east" When he
got back he brought along a fifth rib
with him to '1ove and obey" That
was the first act in the drama entitled
Mcneil the Silent" Now for the
second act A wee bit of a baby. of
| the nascUlIne sex was dropped INTO
the Doctors home the other day, and
| he acknowledged il n his Cwn. Tt's
boy, and already the Doctor has
commenced to prepare him to take
| his place IT Howard Medical School
Good for this lean, lanky North Caro-
1 liiitdiit NJ" IiIdl 1 idNC IL -FlI1N Gil
up before the public on a paternity
charge, might as well throw him a
| few inShoots Doc is an awfuliy ST.
lent fellow, and an awfulIy stubborn
fellow, when he thinks he's got the
right side Of the road They tell me
that even DR. Thirkied, with his min
isterial garb. psalms-like face, can't
make the Doctor believe the goblins
will get him of he don't watch out,
providing Doc thinks he's right, and
there never was a time when Doc
thought he was wrong. That's a char
acteristic of these North Carolinians
they always think they are right
| Did you ever hear of John Dancyr
Almond Scott, John Howe, of Center
rush Henry Tyson admit they were
Iwrong? Never And they all come
from the turpentine district. When
Doc. MCNeill bought the Shadd cas-
tie there were lot of self-appointed
administrators around who said he was
wrong. Doc. never admitted it. He
lust went ahead, engaged carpenters,
painters and decorators and renovated
the old castle, and then moved in,
4 II