davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Ea.il, Understood

The ShowiiNn WAS i. H.
Before an admirius e.ew, q.
yokels he WAS d..a,zlc ua
tues Of this waNwo-N So..c,
cred upon the village green
to the et.isy OF 4 thin, a,,oau..
tleman in gorgeous CART. he
Cd
Now. this. gentlemen, sA.S
cream OF the ole collec,ie.- ~ ~
surprised II was 70 tel soi.
paid Fir i'm Es taken from
il. E's'-
Stow the sus. mister. and s4.e *
the point" interrupted 4 veiee lei.
US o e is"
"E'. George ~. sea;leii., aei...
peror Of Hindia. one u Tie -sa8'f
English moaa-chs s.aee he i
William the Conaueror
But thought inse-iaesea 3 Si..a
man in blue glasses. determined to =.
full value for the shreeaeu ...il.i.S-
sion he had paid. THAT Gasee ~
was very stout man,
Very likely e was Sir, ga ilse
Snowman. But if you'd been ese *
long as e as without even mouth
ful OF food you'd ave >h-uns i b.s
yerself f"-London Answers
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
GATHERING RUBBER.
The Sap is coasulated by the Action
Of Punaent Smoke.

TIE industry Of collecting and pre-
pal,lg rubber Is carried on extensively
in the valley Of the Amazon. There are
districts of many square miles owned
and operated by one person. The rub
Yer trees are scattered more or less
pientifully among other trees that
yield no profit as yet
When one has secured a large tract
of forest land for the industry he puts
up a rough shelter upon 1t and en-
cages Indian natives Of the neighbor-
hood TO aid him In the work Early in
the morning they start out to make
the rounds Of the estate, for they must
get back to the riverside before the
heat of the day becomes too great.
They tap the trees, attach little tin
cups to catch the sap and take home
whstever sap may be collected.
The sap of the rubber tree is white
liquid of the consistency of goats milk.
1t is necessary that 1t be converted
Into !; solid This is effected by the
action Of Il pungent smoke that coagu-
8iates or curdles the milky fluid. For
.this; Use the seeds of two different
kinds of palm are employed. The seeds
IRE nut in an earthen jar which has
narrow neck. the bottom of which is
perforated with a number of square
holes III this the palm nuts are
lpraet The holes In the bottom Of the
jar admit a draft and cause dense
sTsloi.c to issue from the neck
The operator takes paddle similar
10 that with which he paddles his ca
zoe and holds the blade of it over the
jar. Upon 1t he pours the milky juice.
cup by cup. all the time turning the
blade so rs to bring all parts of 1T into
The smoke. The fluid is instantly fixed
aid adheres to the wood or to the rub
ber already formed. This process is
continued until solid lump is formed
that will perhaps weigh sixteen
pounds When the lump has grown
large enough for handling q slit is cut
In il and the blade Is drawn out. \
mass Of rubber is left ready for cx-
nortation 1t is the smoke used In
eoagtlating the sap that gives crude
rubber the dark appearance familiar to
every one.
Natives who collect rubber have. Gu
liausly enough. little use for the ar
ticle. They do, however. devise play
things for their children by pouring
the sap into clay molds Of birds. fishes.
renewing it.-New York Press.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Killing tho Bad Taste.

Maybe ] won't have to take medi-
cine again and even if do have u
taSc it maybe the doctor will prescribe
~ ambrosial mixture, but if l should
be condemned for my sins to swallow
vile doses know how I'll take them"
. city salesman volunteered "a man
WHO was dcctoring himself in the drug
store showed me the way
The druggist had mixed particu-
larly obnoxious dose. The man before
taking it asked for cracked ice The
errand boy brought it, several spoon
fNls nearly pulyerlzed. The sick man
held that in his mouth until 1t melted.
after which the medicine seemed as
mild as tea.
II always prepare my mouth that
way for disagreeable medicine the
man said. The ice numbs the nerves,
and the medicine slips down without
leaving any taste. good or bad ''-E1-
change
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
CURIOUS PERUVIAN TREE.
!. Produces a ccpous and Continuous
Supply Of Rain.

supply OF MAIN.
The rain tree of Peru grows very
lalse. is rica in leaves lnd is called
by the Indians tamaicaspi 1t has the
poyer OF collecting tie dampness OF
the atmospl ere and condensiHg 1t into
4 continuous and corious supply OF
rain.
IN the dry eason. when the rivers
ar, low and the heat great, the trees
power Of condensins seems at the
highest. and water falls in abundance
from the leaves and oezes from the
trunk. The water spreads around in
ve-.table rivers. part Of which filters
into the soil and fertilkes 1t. These
rivers are eanalized so as to regulate
thr course of the water
L is estimated that one OF the Peru
viz rain trees will n the average
We'd nine gallons OF water per diem
liz field o. an area ot one klometer
square that is, $3.50 feet each way
can be grown 10000 trees separated
from each other by twenty five meters.
Thls plantation produces daily 3S5,0Oo
Mters of water. II we allow for evap-
cNtion and infltration we have 1885,
Coz liters or o9,531 gallons OF rain for
distribution daily. The rain tree can
tc cultivated with very little trouble
FOR it seem. Indifferent as to the soil
In which It grows. The tree increases
rapidly and reslsts both extremes Of
elimate.-Espana Moderna.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
ceuldn't Stand That.

Daisy-So you're wearing Geralds 8
ring again. thought you sent it back
TO him and told him he needn't call
again-it was all over between you
Mazie-l did but he didn't take 1t as
thought he would He called. said
had done just right. that II was all for
the best and that he was convinced we
never could be happy together any
way. You don't suppose was going
tp stand for that kind OF talk, do you,
I wept one little tear, and the next
minute he had ms head on his shout
der, was calling me his darling and
telling me he couldn't live without
me.-Chicago Tribune.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
4 LIBERTY WITH TIME.
Caste Interrupted Lecture In the
University Of Madrid.

Il Home Life In Spain is fine
ser. cf Tie University OF Madrid.
w,4iSA once had among its professors
i.aa. Senor CASTELAR, who was for a
,.iaa resident q the short lived Span
-. auNlic. But when Alfonso MI.
waS brought TO Madrid after the fall
y ;lle republic CASTELAR, With his COM
rssIie;ls. was eNiled.
SoEae years afterward an amnesty
was reclaimed, and CASTELAR, returned
II triumph 10 Madrid TO resume his
o;A a the university. \ vast gather
Ing -.endcd TO hear his first lecture,
a.-d the greatest orator in all Spain
s.loaated the rostrum, looked inper.
tl.-aab,y at the sea Of eager faces sur
rounding him and began. "As l was
saying yesterday" Como decia aver
between that yesterday aud this
day lie had fought the battle OF the
f@llen republic ard had known the bit
.eraesS OF years in exile. All memory
os Ills. however poignant In the heart
q Gas telar. had passed from the pro-
sesslr Of Madrid's university, and he
continued his lecture at the very point
&. which it had been broken off.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
A BRAVE 1oREAooR.
One Of the Most Thrilling incidents OF
the Bull Rinu.

One Of the Most Thrilling incidents OF
the Bull Ring.
The famous Spanish toreador Reyerte
figured in one of the most thrilling
II dents ever witnessed in the arena
1t was at Bayonne After disposing Of
two bulls Eevcrte had twice plunged
his sword into third q f -reat strength
and fcrocity and as the Aeast contin-
uoi carecrilg wildly the spectators be-
gan 10 hiss Peverte for bungling
Wounded to the Very quick OF his
pride. the Spani:rd shouted The bull
is Slain and. throwing aside his
sword. sanl. on one knee With folded.
arms in th middle of the ring. BE
wss right. ,ut he had not allowed for
th margin of accident The wounded
beast charge f'ill upon him, but the
rlatador. splendid to the last, knelt
mo- 'onless rs statue while the spec
tators held their breath in horrihed
suspense Reaching his victim, the
bull literally bounded at him, and as
he sprang he sank in death. with his
last effort giving one fearful lunge Of
the head tllat drove horn into the
thigh of the kneelins man and laid
bare the bone from the knee to tho
joint. Still Reverte never finched, but
remained kneeliMg, exultant in victory
bt.t calmly contemptuous Of applause,
till he was carried away to heal him Of
hi; grie~ous wound
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
All Properly pead.

A crank came running into the
office and said that a man swallowed
a two foot rule and died by inches.
The editor started out at once to
learn farther particulars of the
death and, meeting DR.. Southwick,
told him about the cese. He said
that was nothing; that he had had
patieat once who swallowed a
thermometer and died by degrees.
4 couple Of bystanders just then
Clipped in and reminded him Of the
fellow in Kansas who said he had a
friend who took quart Of apple
Jack and died in good spirits. s.--San-
dusky Star-Journal.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Pathological.
Maud-The girls are dary
about our youngest bishop
Beatrix-ls il his hitter or his
motor Life
Pathological.
Protecting himsslf.

When a mans married, said Rose
Stahl. the justly famous chorus lady.
ibis excuses begin. Did you ever hear
how Sambo got out OF it when he was
caught in the tUrkey coop:
Deed. mtstah, he said, deed. sab,
I isn' a-steain dis yah bird. rs sakin'
it In se'f defense Homes, Is.
4Ssif defense" roared the indignant
owner, shaking him by the collar
What KIND Of lie are you trying to
tefl pe?'
Please. sab. walled the much
abused Sambc. nah wife she say ef l
doan' fetch home turkey she swine
ter break ebery bone in nah body.
an SO jes' 'bleeged ter perfect NAH
SET. '-Young's Magazine
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Every Preeau.ion Taken


During recent smallpox Epidemic
in Alabama special Precautions against
the disease were taken in the mining
camps. In one cf these causl- the
president Of fAe mining eonnan! raid
q visit Of inspection and came !g9n IN
old negro leaning against the SIDE Of
a building.
Jake" asked the president, aye
you afraid of the smallpox out lle.e:4
Some may be. sah,' Jake rcl,iie,l.
"As 70 me. amt scahed Is Jest
gwine toh get me some lime an Innate
nah house, an den de doetah. he's
comm up an 'sassinate nah family,
so dat den, sab, If we do git de small
po1 'twon't be nothin' lui de eeliu-.
loid. Home Companion,
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
oniain Of !. Soma


The grumbling Of negro groom led
70 the composition Of the immortal
Old Folks at Home. While waiting
far change Of horses at a Kentucky
hestelry the composer. Stephen Foster,
aEthor of 50 many beloved darky mel
olies- heard a melancholy negro mur-
nur as he threw a set OF harness to
tho ground: rs sick an tired o dis
life I wisht was back wifi de ole
fal.ss at home"
Where MAY that be. SAM asked
Foster.
oh. answered the darky, way
down on de Suwannee river"
The result was the song as we have
it today
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Tho ponkey's Head.

Among the most EXTRAORDINARY pieces
Of symbolism known to have been used
by the early Asiatics was figure Of q
donkey's head used as a rcpresentalisa
Of the deity There is no doubt Niia
ever that the same emblem was oiiee
used among the Hittites, the I.gyiti;.iis
and one or two other nations as Il sym
Dol Of their red god. SUIT. The super
stition Of the yellow donkey of India,
the story Of the swift ass of eastern
ASIA and the ass of Dionysius and
many other marvellous ass stories ARE
all survivals Of that curious form d
religious worship the alteration of the
ass head.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Light on . Dark Subject,

Caller There's one question should
lire to have answered. When thought
flashes across the intellect does 1t ef
feet any molecular changes in the eel.
lular or muscular tissues composing
the material substance Of the cerebral
mass. or does 1t operate merely in
the realm Of the spiritual ego, thereby
leaving no trace subject to detection
Or classification in the denlain Of sub.
Rtantiality? Information Editor (turn-
ipg again to his desk There Is no pre-.
&itfm on the coin.-C Chicago Tribune
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Another Adaue Spoiled

HE laughs best who laughs last"
remarked the man with the pfoverb
habit
Don't you believe it, reioined the
contrary person. The man who tells
the story laughs best, and he inyari
ably laughs first. Spokane spol,es
man-Review.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Affected BY the Heat.
Patience-That is q hot headed
child.
Patrice-Yes. believe he was
brought up in an Incubator
Yonkers Statesman.
Accommodating.

But can't stand that hail room,
explained the shivering lodger
What's the trouble. sir asked the
considerate landlady.
Why every morning actually have
to crack the ice in the water pitcher
"Oh, don't let that worry YOU, Mr..
BinSs. After this will send the
handy man up to crack it for you. -
Pittsburg Press.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02

lae many congratulations and dozen
inince pies. The other day heard
that there was something wrong be-
ween the loving couple, but did not
ct the particulars On this trip. when
INnade Taylor's. the old man called me
a There sat Mary wkh disconsoiats
tAce and tears in her eyes. had a
ramp in my forefnger from the cold.
but after hearing her sad story thaw-
"a it out and wrote:
Oh who 80 blithe as bonnie May.
A-skipping o'er the lea.
Her heart 30 full OF happiness.
Her song SO full OF glee,
She was in love with Joseph White.
Ard she he did adore
He vowed he'd love her unto death
And then he'd love some more
she was his sun, his life his all
He swore to be her slave
lie vowed In case she ever died
He'd die upon her grave
NO frown upon his brow she'd see
But his strong arms around her
Would be living. squeezing proof
That he was glad ne found he.
The honeymoon was simply great.
And SO the weeks were after
They sang OF love the livelong day
And filled the world with laughter
But came the day when Joseph White
Because a boil developed.
Went locking round with savage ME,
TO see what could be walloped
He kicked the dog. - cuHed the ca,
He kicked the COW a-loeing
lie made the neishbors all Sit up
And see that things were doing.
He did not kick oAcufr his wife.
Sut 1t was far more cruel
For him to say the things he did
Unto that precious jewel
You will not believe II. you who read,
He could be such hobo,
but with q voice twas heard a mile
He yelled at her, "fou dodo!"
Not once he yelled. but twenty times.
oodo.' he kept a.yelling.
And twenty times that fainting wife
Was on the point OF falling.
1ooao, You skate." he wildly cried,
And home she went a.skating,
AND down my checks the tears they drip
AS this an, relating
WIN she come back. his loving xiA.
Sig whom he onfy trustSd?
Ss 'snat 'nag:Iss bcil e yseSS 3ss' @ Nnfp J.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Two s4.ikes

You told me that the light of your
life had gone out when Your wife
died, and now you're going to be mar
ried again"
Yes; I'm going to strike another
match'-Circle.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Posted on par.dox...
DO you know when man is
invariably PUT out?''
Why, yes. When he is taken
iu.' y Spokane spokesmanRe
view.
Evsry Little Bit HELPS.

rs there any one present who
wishes the prayers Of the congrega-
ton for relative or friendy' asks the
minister.
Il do." says the angular lady who
arises from the rear pew. Il want the
congregation to pray for my husband
Why. Sister Abigail replied the
minister. you have no husband as
yst.'
'fss, but want you ali 10 pitch in
- pray for one for ns:-,Ltfe.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Whsrs lonorance i. eii...

Were you scared when you pro
posed marriage"
Not bit would have been.
though. IL Id foreseen the ten years
since the wedding. Toledo Blade.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Tho Gum Shoe Artist.

The gum shoe man all softly goes
He never treads on peoples toes
And he turns up. you must agree
Where no one ever thought he'd be,
But when he finds he's out Of place
HIS footsteps soft he must retrace.
No constant goal is His to @iu
He gum shoes out as he came IN
A little while. perchance. he'll stand
On lofty heights and View the alG.
But soon upon his sight must dawn
The admonition stern, "Mo.e oa'
The man who plants hi. banner fair
Aloft and cries defiance there
May hold a place. but nothing ca,l
Be certain for the gum shoe man
--yVa { ifir,trtor
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Literary Note.

The teacher had been talkipc "a be-
rnaiis OIL Ouida's story, The Dog Of
lanlers. and she followed her talk
b an oral test
Now. what is the name of the au-
tlors'' she queried
Small and slan=y Boy Oh. You Ida
Boston Record.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
rhsuaht II Wa, a Joke.

The Colonel-And you actually as.
sex that you want to marry my
daughter,
Fusby-Y-yes.
The Colonel Staring at him unpleas.
antiy)-You know that am English?
Fusby-Y-yes. sir.
Pie Colonel-well, it's going to take
me several years to see the point OF
your little Joke. Good day to you
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
CURED BY RHYMES
Honest Abe, U. 5. N. Carrier,
Heals toe Afflicted.
TWO CASES FIXED IN A POEM.

farmer Swans ohieksspss and ~
Widow larkin's MessIss-A oiseen
.olate Wife chssrsd UP BY Verso
One Victim Turns on the Poet.
BY M. QUAD.
'opyright. 1870 BY Associated Literary
Press.l
.IVYHEN got down to Farmer
" Swans with my mail cart
the other morning l saw
red flag flfterng from the
ltchen window That Is the wfreless
.,aal along my route that I am want
IN the house TO compose poem. and
I must be respected at all hazards. AS
] Jed In the house smelled herb tea
IA saw the farmers wife dying
eund. After three or four minutes
e was ready to explain to me:
Abe. grandpa has come down with
fna chickenpox.'
You can't mean it
But the doctor says so"
Must be second CHILDHOOD"
IT'S worse than that The wtAew
skin has come down with the mea-
i'es.H
But what has that to do with grand
as chickenpo1y"
md then amid smiles and tears she
j Inc the story and demanded that !
ite poem on 1t for the moral effect
~ the world at large: When It was
lished it was carried into the bed
IN and read to grandpa. and he
opt and promised never, never to do
again. 1t ran as follows and can be
ng In grand opera or at a barn dance:
Cure For chiekenpox and MsasIss.
or. winter SHOWS. your falling cease!
Oh. Boreas, stop blowing.
have n tale OF woe TO tell.
Twoud from my pen be flowing.
widower is Jacob Swan.
A widow Is Mrs. LArkin.
Each one is eixty years and ten
Too old. you say. for spark!n'
But Cupid came a-smiing round
And fred at them his arrows.
And In the night they did forget
Their former griefs and sorrows.
They were engaged-oh. bl!ssful 1acti-
OF hands they were a-squeezing,
And romance they were taking OF
Except when they were sneezing.
They had 1t planned for TO elope
From their dear sons and daughters.
To wed and hand IN hand TO 60
And take up other quarters.
Tho day II came. but cruel fate
Was on their track 10 beat 'ern.
30 sympathy was In her heart
AS she set out to cheat EN-.
The widow got the measles. ana
She went to bed awaiting,
And with a case OF chickenpox
Poor Grandpa Swan - ailing
Their love is busted all to smash;
Their romance is a-hking
Iney'N not elope, they will not wed.
For Cupid's OF plking
chesr For 4 Diseonselats Wife.
s,ix months ago Farmer Tayior's
.rf4Ater HAry via nauGee - yossy
rlhsr Joe WHITE. ana vrses we1.
.ng bells poem on the event that won
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
The Yolk Had Vanished.

Young Farmer Medders (at tea)
What in the name of goodness.
Glorlosa, is the matter with this
cake:
Bride "a London girD-Whv.
dear, there can be nothing the mat
Ter with it. | followed the recipe
eza tly. Maybe it was the fault Of
tie eggs. | thought eggs we're soft
and yellow inside, but these were
white and brittle all through, and
/ aaa TO powder them with the flat
ir9n. And
Where did you get them::s
in the henhouse, darling. There
g.s only one egg in each nest,
and
Great Scott, Gloriosa, You have
used my china nest eggs Pear
son
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
justification.

JVttiNC1tIon.
Now, look here, my DEAR said a
husband decidedly, II am sure we
don't heed that beankiA rug How
often have told you not to go and
buy things because they are cheap:'
But, my love- replied his wife.
this wasn't cheap; 1t cost s5o."-Phil-
adeiphia Inquirer.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Tho Re.t cure.

A deetor prescribed rest and change
for small boy who had disorganized
Hs system by overindulgenee in pud-
ding. After he had gone the little boy
said:
Il knew was upset, mamma, be-
cause my foot's asleep, and things
must be pretty bad when you go to
Sleep at the wrong end = Newark
Star
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Fame

Fame is easily acquired All Won
nave TO do is 10 be in the rish. place
= the right time and do the rish,
thing in the right way-and then ad.
scrtise II properly -rrce
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Swell Set Credentials.

Mrs. De Butt Cmaking out a list of
invited guests for dinner'-C Can YOU
think of any others:
Mis- Won Setter-There is Mrs Kun
has
q Mad thought of her, but she did
net tIAi - slnuggle. Philadelphia
I,fl45r
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Ana lie nus. get upon his kne<s
And do some awful weeping
And promise not to dodo more
While she is In his Keeping
The Widow Turns.

The Widow Tufns.
left the young wife chirked up and
hopeful, and down a, TIE Widow
SmNhs found the widow digging
away the snow al the gate
Any poetry asked as halted
You shet upr' she replied AS she
threw SNOWFALL at me.
What's the matter:
You wrote some poetry about NE
year ago, and rs kept all the men
away since. Abe. you SO 10 grass
You amt shucks'
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Literally

Literally.
Mr. Stiles What! Another new
street dress: Where's the last one.
you got?
Mrs. Stiles-1 have worn 1t out.
Mr. Sttles-It isn't week since you
got 1t.
Mrs. Stiles-I wore it out last Thurs
day-Boston Evening Transcript.
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
And That. No joke.

Now. Willie what on earth ar you
crying that way for:''
"Boohoo: My teeth stepped "a NY
tongue
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02
Three Sheets In me Wind"

Lat was The origin Il the phrase
fcr gunkenme ;. sllge heets In tie
win - land lsa ycd a sailor the
9th Gsy. We'll. a the sailor.
III captain that la4t. % YOU The
twe over c ners Of sips sail are
hcle t;tut by tvo roDs one called
tac{ M another csllsel i sheet. The
tac. atwws kept -cry tight. rse
the eet is loos med -cording to the
VIII arc. the looscr tee sheet is the
mo; freely The sail v.nss. If the
sa" IS quite free its heel is said TO
be the wind No suppose that
all zee of a ships lis We're quite
fire They would thcn ils about very
era. ", and the ship would wabble
Thc curse of the ship would be zig
gag ae, anu the reaso' for this would
be lat she had 'thre sheets in the
vii Thai. guess is why man
WI he Iii IS in Il course is said
to D tlrce hcets in tha wind also"
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02

y suppose being the Wife of a hu.
Merist Is continuous joke. said her
former schoolmaN,.
YES She sadly Si-.hed. looking al.
her faded and old fashioned gown.
'And its on me."-Ex shansn
Emmons County record., 1911-03-02

Serial No. 0..i. fei, sli.ssa
NOTICE FOR II'Bl.lGATl1lN
Department u ike ln-sgi
US. Land OHice at E31.sl..ssca .lj..
Jam ar5 9 s'l
Notice j. & II g}}er ma
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-12-24
FUNERAL NOTICE.

Died Friday, Dec. 22nd, at Dem
yer, Colo, Mrs. F. w McCabe wife
OF F. w. McCabe, and daughter of
Mr. and Mrs Peter Saup. Funeral
services will take place Tuesday
mornihS at $3.50 a. m. from family
residence 707 Washington avenue to
St. Patrick's church Funeral train
will leave Fourteenth street at 9:15
o'clock for Villa Ridge cemetery,
where interment will be made.
Friends of the family are invited to
attend. Please omit flowers.
WANTED-Lady to travel in Illi-
nois for 1912 Soaps. Grocery Spec
ialties, Candies, etc. Good pay and
tailor made suit in 80 days. En-
periencc unnecessary. McBrady Il
Co., Chicago.