davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1911-08-01
DON'T SHOOT-pLL SURRENDER.

My preachment last month about
the exchanges being such dry pick
ing seems to have sorter soured on
the stomach of the big Pistol man.
He squirts about two columns of his
neW-fangled, homemade words at me
and wants to know if ] meant any
thing personal. He is willing to bet
this, that and the other that The Big
Pistol was not in that pile Of ex-
changes. You're a good guesser, Ben
The Big Pistol was not there.
get a few choice exchanges that l
put in different pile, and The Big
Pistol goes with the choice ones. l
read them carefully, squeeze out all
the mental juice / can get, and lay
them away for future reference.
l take better care of The Big Pistol
than the editor of The Lash does.
Tother day happened to step in at
the home of L. B. Laws, and / SEE to
him, seZ I:
"Look-ee here, Laws, you must be
mighty careless with your firearms.
why SOP sez he.
''Well,' sez /, "just now, as came
in, I saw a Big Pistol lying out there
on the walk.
Now, Ben, you know who appreci
ates you most here at, Morayian Falls
You are one among ten thousand
and altogether funny. So just keeI
The Big Pistol loaded to the muzzle
and every time it fires make the oil
sinners think judgment has come.
The fool-killer., 1911-08-01
VOL. IL.
YES. .IF.r

Says a poky paragrapher
In penny morning sheet:
We could save a pot of money
If we didn't have to eat"
That's fact beyond disputing,
And it's evident, no less,
That our wads would be much fatter
If we didn't have to dress.
Furthermore, the truth here stated
Should be plain to any gawk:
We could save a lot on footwear
If we didn't have to walk.
Then again we'd do more labor
And some extra shekels reap,
Also save on beds and bedding,
p, If we didn't have to sleep.
Summing up, to this conclusion
Free Endorsement you will give:
We could be as rich as Rocky
If we didn't have to live.
The fool-killer., 1911-08-01
CASEY'S PICTURE.

Casey decided to go into business,
SO he bought out small livery stable
and had a painter make a sign for
him showing him astraddle Of q mule.
He had this sign placed in front OF
the stable and was quite proud Of It.
His friend Finnigan happened along
and stood gazing at the sign.
That's a. good picture of me, ain't
it?, asked Casey.
Sure, it looks something like you !
said Finnigan, abut who in the devil
lis that man on your back e.
The fool-killer., 1911-08-01
NO. s.
TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK.

recently saw a newspaper article
with the above heading. didn't read
the article, and don't have any more
idea than a hog what it was about.
But the head caught me, and said
to myself, There! Guess I'll just
hook that heading and use it. as a
summer bonnet for one Of my own
preachments."
Talk, talk, talk talk.
I And then get long breath and talk
some more
1t takes talk to run the world.
And 4 don't wonder at it, for lots Of
the talk I hear is enough to run most
anything
1t nearly runs me crazy sometimes.
/ Don't bother to think, but just talk.
Thinking tires the thinker, but
talking only tires the listener, and
that don't matter
Therefore talk. sE3
Talk early and often, late and loud.
Go into the Office where people are
busy, crank your mouth and put it to
work.
The boss pays his hands to listen
at you talk
And they enjoy it.
If somebody else is talking about
something of importance, that's just
the time for you to butt in. Crack
away and tell 'em you know more
about it than they do.
That's good manners.
| It don't matter whether you know
| any ything or not-make bluff and
pretend that you know.
/ The less you know the more you
should talk.
| Make up in talk what you lack in
knowledge, and maybe you will fool
somebody into thinking you are
smart.
| Exercise is good for the tongue
therefore let it wag.
/ Tell ,em your name is Mr.. Gabby-
Jack from away up Lengtongue
Creek
The fool-killer., 1911-08-01
MoRAvIAN FALLS. NORTH CAROLINA. AUGUST, 1911.

i don't know whether he is naturally
q daredevil, or whether he just amt
got sense enough to be afraid. But
Il guess he knows that the clumsy
fingers Of mere human are not hard
for him to dodge.
The flea can out-jump all creation.
He is about one-sixteenth of an inch
long, and he can easily Jump five
/ feet, or $50 times his own length.
The average man is nearly six feet
tall. In order to Jump as far as Mr..
Flea considering the size of the
Ejumper) a man would have to jump
something over mile And wouldn't
/ that be some jumping, though? II
YOU could Jump $50 times your own
length, you could draw al biggen
crowd than all the circuses and soon
sbe richer than John Rob-a-fe1ler.
Aud vet the little old pesky flea can
do that and we never think anything
about it.
If there was an animal a million
times bigger than you are. think
you'd be sorter careful how you
messed with it. You wouldn't be apt
to crawl up its leg and bite it on the
belly or the shoulder blade. You'd
be afraid. But you are million
times bigger than the flea, and he
don't ask you one bit of odds. He
just shoulders his little meat-axe and
goes galloping over your mortal cor
porosity any time he feels like it.
and the only thing you can do is to
claw and cuss.
And SO it seems to me that even the
| flea possesses some traits Of char
Iacter that we might learn to admire
if we would just go at it in the right
way
| Therefore I say unto you, consider
the flea.
IL you are growing at the ho
! weather now, you will have a chancs
to change ends with your groWlel
about next Christmas.
The fool-killer., 1911-08-01
JUST DISSOLVED.

So you broke your engagement
with Miss Spensive?'
No, didn't break it,
oh, then she broke it, did she?'
No, she didn't break it.
ssBut it is broken, isn't it?"
Il Yes, she told me what her clothing
cost, and told her what my income
was, and then our engagement sagged
In the middle and just gently dis
solved.
The fool-killer., 1911-08-01
CONSIDER THE FLEA.

y y q z Is 81 s&fE & 4 &
Speaking of bravery, what's the
matter with the little old razor.
backed, hopping flea? It was old
man Solomon, I believe, who advised.
us to consider the ant. But think
Sol let mighty good chance get a..
way when he failed to call our atten-
tion to the festive and feet-footed
flea.
Say, you old puckery plugs of hui
manity, did you ever lay aside your
corn-cob pipe long enough to con-
slider the flea? Did you ever wake
up in the shank end of the night with
sensation as If a fisherman was
digging for bait in the small of your
back?
can see you with my minds eye
as you get up in your shirt-tail and
light the lamp. It doesn't matter TO
you that the window is open, and that
the young counting couples are pass
ing on their way home from night
meeting. ] see you twist that fioW+
ing garment first to one side and
then the other, and crane your neck
like sick gander as you try to take
a fine sight down your backbone.
At last you catch sight of the cause
of all your trouble. He is sitting
cross-legged under the hem of your
shirt-tail and quietly chewing on that
hunk of meat that he excavated from
the region of your spine.
| You set your jaws like wise and
your fingers like a steel-trap, and
grab! You rub that shirt-tail be-
tween your finger and thumb till it
begins to smoke, and then you open
up, expecting to find the mutilated
remains OF that flea. But about
1 thirteen times out of a dozen you will
be somewhat surprised at the abrupt
and pronounced manner III which he
is not there.
at the same time thinking few
words that it isn't proper for nice
folks to say. Then yof sadly puff
out the light and tumble back into
your bunk. You ain't more than go1
to saving gourds right good till Mr.
Flea is back on the joH with steam
j drill and two or three hired hands.
!, All, dogon your spotted hide. mis-
ffter, you can't get ah4ad of the flea
( He is the most actife and ELUSIVE
creature in all the earth. He cal
bite you on the hip d the big toe
/ and then be a hundred yards Of an'
d sound asleep in the dog house be
fore you have time t grab at him
The flea has absolutely no fear
The fool-killer., 1911-08-01

II you are growing at the hot
weather now. you will have a chance
to change ends with your groWler
about next Christmas.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13

Alleged Dynamiters of Los Angeles
Times Building Spring Surprise
on Prosecution.

Los Angeles.-The defense in the
Mcnamara alleged dynamite cons
spiracy case sprung surprise when
John ]. Mcnamara, the accused In
diana labor leader, and his brother,
James B. Mcnamara, were called into
Judge Bordwelrs department of the
supreme court.
Both men were summoned to plead
to 10 charges of murder, the result
of the destruction of the Times news
paper plant on October /, 1910. In
addition, John j. Mcnamara was ex-
pected to plead to the charge that he
had conspired to destroy the Level
lyn iron works. Instead he challenged
the jurisdiction of the court, claiming
that it had no right to exact plea or
to try him on either the 10 charges
of murder or the Llewellyn iron works
indictment, because he was extradited
from indianapolis not for murder. but
for alleged dynamiting.
The prosecution met the move OF
the defense with a motion to disallow
the plea to jurisdiction.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13
WRONG SORT
Perhaps Plain Old Meat, Potatoes and
Bread May Be Against You
for a Time.

A change to the right kind of food
can lift one from sick bed. A lady
In Weldon, ILL.,, says:
Last spring became bed-fast with
severe stomach troubles accompanied
by sick headache. / got worse ana
worse until / became so low | could
scarcely retain any food at all, al
though 1 tried about every kind.
81 had become completely discour-
aged, and given up all hope, and
thought was doomed to starve to
death, until one day my husband, try
ing to find something could RETAIN.
brought home some Grape-Nuts.
"To my surprise the food agreed
with me. digested perfectly and with
out distress. 1 began to gain strength
at once. My flesh (Which had been
fabby), grew firmer, my health i'm
proved in every way and every day,
and in a very few weeks I gained 20
pounds in weight.
81 liked Grape-Nuts so well that for
four months 1 ate no other food, and
always felt as well satisfied after eat
lIlE DIS IL l. uclO Ochb INV II " a AIAAN DSAh
quet.
Il bad no return of the miserable
sick stomach nor of the headaches,
that / used to have when I ate other
food. am now a well woman, doing
all my own work again, and feel that
life is worth living.
"Grape-Nuts food has been God
send to my family; it surely saved my
life; and my two little boys have
thriven on it wonderfully" Name
given by Postum Co., Battle Creek
Mich.
Read the little book, "The Road to
MELVILLE" in pkgs. There's reason"
Ever read the above letterg A new
one appears from time 10 time. They
are genuine, true, and full or human
interest.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13
ENDORSES "RULE OF REASON
WIckersham Says Supreme Courts
Decision Makes Sherman Act Ef-
fective Against Trust VioIators.

Battle Creek, Mich.-Attorney Gen.
eraI Wickersham heartily Endorsed
the Supreme courts application
of the rule of reason" in its two
recent decisions, in an address to the
Michigan State Bar association.
1.-THE most cursory examination Of
the decision in the tobacco case" said
the speaker, makes it perfectly ap-
parent that the Sherman law has been
demonstrated to be an actual and ef-
fective weapon for the destruction OF
trusts. 1t is settled by these decisions
that no form of corporation, organiza-
ton, merger or consolidation, can bar
a federal court of equity from termi'
mating an unlawful restraint or COM
polling the distintegration of a mo-
nopolistic combination"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13
REVIEWS COAL FIGHT.
GOVERNMENT WILL ENDEAVCR
TO vITALIzE COMMODITIES
CLAUSE OF COMMERCE ACT.
LEHIGH VALLEY DEFENDANT
Test Case Is Filed In Attempt to Sep
arate Great Carriers From Control
of Mines-Profit-Fixin Is Al
legged.

Washington.-The government has
started new campaign to bust the
coal trust" A test case was filed in
the federal court at Philadelphia.
opening another fight to associate
the misunderstanding railroads from
their virtual control of mines and thus
vitalize the commodities clause OF the
interstate commerce law.
That the Lehigh Valley Coal COM
pany, Coke Bros, Inc, the New York
& Middlefield Railroad and Coal CON-
pany and the Locust Mountain Coal
and Iron company are not bona fide
coal companies, but merely adjuncts
to the Lehigh Valley railroad, and are
devices for evading the commodity
clause" is the governments principal
complaint.
1t is also alleged that the Lehigh
Valley railroad, with the object of re-
moving competition, has caused the
Lehigh Valley Coal company to con-
tract at a loss for the output of other
anthracite operators, has transported
the coal over It's own lines and through
the coal companies fixed the price in
New York and other markets.
The government charges that al
though the buying of coal from other
operators has been done at loss to
the Lehigh Valley Coal company 1t
has enabled the Lehigh Valley rail-
| road to transport the coal over its
lines and profit from the freight
| charges.
To support its claim that the coal
company is merely the dummy
through which the railroad engaged in
| mining, transporting and selling coal
| in violation of the commodities clause,
| the government cities that the officers
of the railroad and the coal company
are the same and that certain mem
bers of the directorate and the execu-
tive committee Of the railroad are
members of the directorate and execu-
tive committee of the coal company.
Among these named are Eben B.
Thomas, George F. Baker, e. T. Stotes-
| bury and James A. Middleton.
Each Of them, 1t is charged, has
been named to his position in the coal
| company because of his position with
| the railroad.
| 1t is set forth that the coal company
uses the railroad company's offices
and does its business over the rail
road company's desks.
AS a further allegation that the lie.
high Coal company is an adjunct OF
the Lehigh Valley railroad, the gov
ernment's complaint says that since
the capital stock of the coal company
has been owned by the railroad 1t has
paid no dividends, that millions of dol
lars have been advanced by the rail
road to the coal company which have
never been refunded, and that the rail.
road has paid the interest upon the
coal company's bonds, being compen'
stated, the government claims, by the
earnings from transportation OF coal
over its lines.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13
TO CONTROL TRUSTS
NEWLANDs ASKS FOR BOARD TO
REGULATE CORPORATIONS.
Business of $5,ooo,oo0 or More
Annually to Register.

shington.-Senator Newlands OF
Nevada in a speech in the senate ad-
vocated an interstate trade commits
sion of five members to control indus
trial corporations, as the interstate
commerce body regulates the rail-
roads.
He contended that the Standard Oil
and Tobacco decisions and the re-
cent government report on the steel
industry demonstrate the need of IAN
independent, quasi-judicial and admin
istrative tribunal Of great character
and dignity, as far removed from par
ttsan control as are the courts" The
plan is 20 apply only to industrial cor
porations engaged in interstate trade
whose annual receipts exceed SIS ,O0O,-
600.
Mr.. Newlands' speech was in adj
vocacy of bill he introduced provid-
ing for such a commission. His meas
ure would separate the bureau OF
corporations from the department OF
commerce and labor and merge the
bureau into commission of inter
state trade.
This commission would require all
Industrial corporations having re-
ceipts exceeding 100000 to make
satisfactory statements as to capt.
talization, finances and operations.
such corporations to be known as
United States registered" companies.
1t proposes to make lack of such
| registration an indication of some
thing wrong"
The measure proposed includes
| these provisions: The commission
may cancel at any time the registra.
| ton of any corporation for improper
financial organization. oppressive or
unfair methods of competition, accept
ance of railroad rebates, refusal to al
low access to records or non-compli-
ance with any judicial decree rem.
dered under the Sherman act In ex.
IRENE cases it may debar the offend.
ing corporations from engaging in in
terstate commerce and 1t may require
correction Of overcapital!zation.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13
WINS LONG AIR RACE
BEAUMONT TAKES HONORS IN
INTERNATIONAL CONTEST
FOR 100000 IN PRIZES.
NINE OUT OF FIFTY AT GOAL
Course Through Four Countries, In
Guiding TWO Passages of English
Channel, Is Completed by Flyers
at Paris-SeveraI Are Hurt.

Paris. France-Lieut, Conneou,
whose racing name is Andre Beau
mont, won the 1000 mile international
circuit aviation race which ended at
the field at Vincennes. AS he had
won the Paris to Rome contest, Con-
neau brings added glory to the French
navy, of which he is an officer. Gar
ros was second and Vidart finished
third.
OF the fifty aeroplanists who took
wing at Vincennes June 1S nine
reached the final goal. Two Of the
racers-Le Martin and Landron-and
Captain Princetau, who had been as
signed to work out certain problems
in reconnaissance in connection with
the race, were killed on the opening
day. Several others received injuries
in falls.
The course took the airmen through
four countries, from Paris across Bel
GUM and Holland, over the English
channel to London and back. Prizes
aggregating about 100000 were given.
Atlantic City, N. J.-ShOrtly after
starting their Washington fight here
Aviators Atwood and Hamilton mar
rowly escaped drowning when their
biplane fell into the ocean. Both were
rescued by life guards.
The machine had covered a dis
lance of only a square when it was
caught in the strong wind and plunged
into the ocean at the foot of New
York avenue. The machine was
dragged ashore unchanged.
A curious bulldog was the real
cause for the flight being abandoned.
The dog nosed into the whirling pro-
peller as the machine was about to
ascend and was killed, the contact
slightly splitting one of the blades.
Hamilton fixed it with a wire, but
when they made their next fight At
wood found the lifting power had
been affected and the machine fell.
Efforts to get into the air after
that failed, and the flight was called
off for the day.
1t was Atwood who gave thousands
Of New Workers thrill a few days
ago by sailing over the skyscrapers
of that city for an hour.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13
TAFT AID IS SCORED
SECRETARY HlLLES Is CALLED
TAINTED NEWS" AGENT.
Congressman Norris Declares He
Hides Truth as to Presiden-
tiaI Candidates..

Neutrality-suspicious. that Charles
D. HHles, secretary to the president,
is acting as the head of a political
news bureau" which "suppresses
truth" and issues "undergrounded
and false" reports as to sentiment
concerning presidential candidates..
were made in letter Representative
Norris OF Nebraska, insurgent leader
in the house, addressed to the Nebras-
ka Progressive Republican league.
Mr.. Norris charged that the sup
pressed" facts related to sentiment
favoring the candidacy of Senator La
Toilette for the presidency. His let
ter was in answer to kilograms from
the Nebraska progressives declaring
their reputation of Frank A. Shot
well, who, they say, had represented
himself as an agent of the league and
had given out several statements
favoring the denomination of Presi-
dent Taft.
Mr.. Norris charged that the progress
sives had been wronged by ICON.
spiracy of great newspapers" In sup.
pressing news relating to the progress.
sive movement. After referring to
a series of articles published, Mr.
Norris letter concluded:
These various articles have ear
marks that strongly indicate they
originated in the White house. l do
not think the president himself die
tated them, and l do not know that
he had knowledge of them, but 1t is
generally understood the information
came from his private secretary. AL
most without exception these objec.
tionable articles contain items of In
formation that necessarily must have
come from someone closely connected
with the White house.
81 am reluctantly led to believe that
the presidents private secretary is
the head of political news bureau
that is making a determined effort to
suppress any sentiment in favor OF
the candidacy of Senator La Toilette,
and to do this by the suppression of
truth and the publication of unground-
ed and false reports"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13
MRS. JENKINS IN COLLAPSE
Jewel Smuggling Case Is Halted Be-
fore Grand Jury When Main
Witness Faints.

New York.-Mrs. Helen Dwelle Jen-
kins repeated before the federal grand
jury the amazing story of how the for
tune in jewels given her by Nathan
Allen, the leather trust millionaire, of
Kenosha, Wis, was Struggled into this
country and subsequently stolen.
The strange tangle of romance, Gus
toms frauds and theft was but half
told when Mrs Jenkins, who had been
grilled for over an hour, suffered a
collapse, both physical and mental,
from which she did not recover for an
hour.
In an effort to prevent publicity and
avoid confusion, the grand jury pro-
ceedings were adjourned as soon as
it was seen that the condition of the
interesting witness was serious.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13

There has been much talk regarding
the selection of national flower. Has
it all been wasted? The Brooklyn
Eagle remarks upon the indisputable
fact that there is no authority In the
Constitution for the selection Of ma
tional flower. However, a great many
things have come to be in this country
without specific constitutional au-
thority There is, for instance, a ma
tional bird, the American eagle. There
Is Uncle Sam" and there is Miss Co.
lumbia," with no authority for either,
except the self-assured authority of
the cartoonists. But these are things
upon which everybody is agreed.
There is not likely to be national
flower until everybody is agreed upon
it. In the meantime, fortunately, the
country can afford to wait.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13

Birds have an excellent time in
Japan and our own agriculturists
would do well to emulate the treat
ment melted out by their eastern con-
freres to such birds as the swallow
and martin, says the Wide World.
With a skilled appreciation Of the part
these feathered friends play In rela-
ton to their crops by keeping down
the insect pests, they exert every eff
fort to protect them and to encourage
them to propagate their kind. Is it to
be wondered at that this sentimental
but withal eminently practical nation
reverences the swallows as messen-
gers to the gods and invites them to
build their nests not only under caves
and rafters, but in every and any room
of the house? In the hotel dining
room were several nests, where the
happy parents reared their families in
complete safety.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13
The Girls Handican.

In her pretty new frock sister Mabel
felt quite proud as she sat on the front
step and watched some boys playing
on the sidewalk.
After time one little boy came up
to talk to her and to admire, in his
rough little way, her bright shiny
shoes and pink sash.
"See my nice square-cut waist" ex-
claimed the grille, land my nice coral
beads! Don't you wish you wuz a
girl?"
mo sire-ee," replied the boy. II
wouldn't want to be any girl at all.
because locke how much more neck
you hat to wash"