davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08
AYHIWKER JOTS

About the time a man goes into poll
tics, remarks the Overlook Citizen,
his wife starts to keeping boarders.
A fashion note in the Pratt Union:
1t is not always the dressmaker's or
the tailor's fault-some forms were
spoiled by the architect.
The pretty girl who has a pretty
dimple when she smiles. seems to
think, says the Pratt Union, that there
| is nothing to do on earth but grin.
An item from Lincoln in the Pratt
Union: Barney Carr is stepping
around as proud as you please since
the arrival of that new thoroughbred
colt.
It occurs to the Osborne Farmer
that after a while the world will pro-
gress so that the smart men will all
be put in one class: Those who mind
mouths shut.
Scientists claim to have discovered
something that is sweeter than sugar,
notes the Hutchinson Gazette and 1t
adds: 1t has not been stated just what
it is, but well bet that 1t is about 10
years of age and weighs about ITO
pounds.
have watched the thing now close
ly for the past year, says Bert Walker,
and still insist that the only handicap
bachelor works under is trying to
remember to set his laundry outside
the door so the fellow who drives the
wagon can get it.
An Atchison farmer is suing his
wife for a divorce because she ran up
grocery bill of $28 in one month
with only three in the family. The
Troy Chief thinks if she had spent the
$2S on a hat instead of for something
to eat, the farmer might have been
satisfied.
| Among the school notes in the Ell
Iinwood Leader: The primary teach
~ Io6 h6a. fall n 10
the ten commandments. 'Now," she
| asked, "can any one tell me COM
mandment of only four words?"
Keep off the grass said a little girl
in the back.
The other day on the street I saw
| a big strong fellow talking to two
small boys, writes Bert Walker in his
Osborne Farmer He soon gave them
enough money to go to. the picture
| show and they went their way with
bright eyes and red cheeks. That man
| has a big vein of pay dirt in his make
up. He may have his faults. and
some of them be grievous. but all the
same he will have many credits on st.
Peters ledger when he comes to the
| da-- Of final settlement. 1 remember
when I was a small kid that one bleak
night I was standing in front of a
| building and a show was going on in
SIDE I couldn't go in because didn't
have cent and had failed to get a
| job peddling bills. One Of the fellows
about town came along and took me
| by the hand, bought me a ticket and
took me in and I sat through the
show with him. He was the greatest
man I ever knew. I used to hang
around where he worked just to get to
| look at him, and asked nothing better
than that he would occasionally speak
| to me-, and he always did. This great
man of my childish years has been
gathered to his fathers these number
of years, but often think of him. I
don't know what the other fellows
who knew him think about it. but
have a steady faith in the idea that he
now has a better berth than a lot of
fellows who made it a practice to go
to church Sunday and get UP at every
revival and give in testimony.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News.l

FROM IHe chicago NeWS.J
Lots wife at least earned her salt.
A floating debt isn't a success as a
life preserver.
Anyway, George Washington didn't
use his little hammer.
It's a waste of the other fellows
time when you talk foolish.
A man doesn't have to be a detective
in order to find fault.
Laugh at fool and he imagines that
you are laughing with him.
Some men will do more for cheap
cigar than they will for a dollar
The less confidence a man has in
himself the more he seems to have in
others. I
Automobiles are a good deal like
men. The cheaper they are the more
noise they make.
Don't be a pessimist. When pessi-
mists die they probably become ghosts
and don't go to heaven.
It's a poor brand of religion that
makes man pray for his neighbors
one day in the week and try to cheat
them tho other six days.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08
RATE DECISION WAS REST

Even the big financial interests in
Wall street are now Of the opinion that
the decision Of the interstate commerce
commission in the freight rate cases
was the best one that could have been
delivered in the premises, even If 1t did
knock down prices for the time being,
at any rate, in the stock market In d
further analysis of this decision. Henry
Jews, the New York banker, who had
been predicting all along that the de-
cision of the commerce commission
would be favorable to the railroads.
had this to say in his current weekly
financial review:
Time has been given for the finan-
c.al community to recover it's equilib-
rum after shock of the decision of tho
interstate commerce commission. Only
railroad managers showed any serious
perturbation. Our great bankers en-
tirely ignored this factor in the placing
of their new flotations, thus proving
that they did not regard the decision
as in any degree affecting the credit of
the railroads. The truth is the rail-
roads failed to prove their case, and no
injustice was done them by the COM
r ission; since, if present conditions
are proved to be unavoidable, they will
have full opportunity for rehearing
after further trial of present rates.
Many of the railroads are reporting
liberal gross earnings, and there is
little doubt that by means of economy
they will be able to continue satis-
factory net results. The stronger roads,
which are in the majority, seem likely
to go on as usual with projected i'm
provements. Some of the weaker lines
are already beginning to economize
and defer improvements. The effect of
the decision was certainly disappoint-
ing to managers and also to concerns
hich furnish the railroads supplies,
but there is no doubt whatever tn 1T
| the decision of the commission will
ultimately exert a wholesome and
necessary restraint upon recent bust
ness tendencies. Had the railroads
succeeded in making their advances,
increased demands from labor would
would have been obliged to charge
higher prices to meet increased freight
bills, and the whole effect would have
been to still further elevate prices and
increase the cost of living. In other
words. we would simply be continuing
! the ridiculous process of lifting our
selves by means of our boot straps; a
tendency that has much to do with re-
cent arrangement and came near
creating a serious crisis by placing the
United States upon a level dangerously
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison ,Globe.J

[From the Atchison Globe.1
Do things and let someone else talk
them over.
The first robin has more enterprise
than sense
1t takes a good deal longer to quit a
bad habit than it takes to learn it.
A convicted man is always sure
there is no such things as justice in
the world.
No man worries much for fear his
daughter is going to grow up and be
an old maid.
Count MCGOWAN went into a grocery
store the other day and asked for con-
centrated cream.
What has become of the old fash
toned man who smoked a clay pipe
with a reed stem?
That theory that time flies didn't
originate with hungry man waiting
for the dinner horn to blow.
This would be lovely world if men
V ere as patient in other things as they
are in waiting for fish to bite.
If you must waste your time, don't
waste it in argument to double the
waste and make it disagreeable.
+ AS a general rule, that Soulful Look
is more likely to be inspired by liver
complaint than Higher Thought.
Some women's idea of an unpar-
donable offense is for their husbands
to sit in a chair tilted back against
the wall.
Between the snow shovel and the
lawn mower, the good citizen doesn' t
have a great deal of chance to suffer
from ennui.
A man doesn't have to be much of
an artist before. he begins laying his
general cussedness on the Artistic
Temperament.
1t is our observation that the straw
berry crop is never as short as is indi-
Gated by the shortcake purchased at
the restaurants.
When some women begin getting
ready to bake a cake they make as
much clatter as a junk dealer dump
ing out lot Of old iron.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
[F'rom the Philadelphia Record.

[F,rom the Philadelphia Record
AS broad as it Is Tonga square
meal.
Handy with his talk-The deaf mute.
The language of flowers is not re-
stricted entirely to society buds
Tho Cynical Bachelor remarks that
the marriageable age is bondage.
F1attery doesn't have to be sugar
coated for most of us to swallow.
When a man has clear conscience
he doesn't mind If people do see
through him.
No. Maude, dear; the floating pepu-
lation is not composed of those who
use the Camden ferry boats.
Hoax-"Wasn't it Lots wife who was
turned into a pillar of salt?'' Joax-
Yes. Do you think she was worth it?''
Hoax = Worth what Joax Her
SALT
What do you think of our Mint?''
asked the Philadelphia. .'Oh, very
fair replied the visitor from Ken
lucky; "but your bartenders have a. lot
to lean about building a julep''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

this time seized her hand boldly, on
the strength of her mirth. 1t was the
first time she had smiled on him
since that hateful night.
Whose is he, anyway" he pur-
sued.
mot MINER challenged Cathe1jFe,
affected by his mood. ooh, Everetti
NOT herei"
We'll, then. as soon as we get to
where we're going?" he demanded
pressing his advantage.
You're going to the Torringtons,
she reminded him. land I'm going TO
my brothers."
at must correct you Where you go
- he half quoted.
"But-Edith ?" she faltered, with
unconscious revelation.
Bless your hearth Re laughed
trfumphantly, haven't you heard or
Ediths engagement to Bob ReynoldsE
Shes merely keeping an eye on me
until you resume your duties
Here we are.'' interrupted Cath
crime hurriedly.
"Goodl Come on, then, Master"
Philip. Philip King. He's my
brother Charles youngest"
We'll namedi" cried Martin. "1t
is only king can do no wrong. And
now" he added significantly, step
ping under g friendly tree on the path
Everett Martin of all people!" ex-
claimed Mrs. King, unexpectedly from
StAo POASh. oul-l lHOuSut-yCu wv
had quarreled?" she demanded sus-
piciously, looking from one telltale
face to the other.
Flush! plaesei" pleaded Martin.
"Why, so we hadi" laughed Cath
crime. "but-ean you remember-what
was 1t all about?''
Philip be praisedi" murmured
Everett, as he shook his head. Snatch
ing the boy he tossed him high into
the air.
''Da-dal" cried Philip with wick
ed little laugh.
Next door to it, sonny!" answered
the man in glee, that is, your uncle
| to-be. copyrighted 1911 by Asso-
ciated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08
HUAOR or THE Day

What is the Monroe Doctrine?' was
asked at a recent examination, and here
are three OF the answers: The religion
TRANSPORTATION of souls.'' THE doctrine
that people may be married several
cination and smallpox; 1t was brought
out by Prof. Monroe."-The Hour Glass.
suppose you were to die tomorrow?;'
Sir ''Sir, you insult me. I may be
poor, but at least am honest'-Rire.
Mrs Piffiedinger boasts that she is con-
nected with some of the best families in
the city,
'Ah! She has telephone."-Smart Set.
Candidate (who has spent a. precious
Wen. goodby, Mrs. Smith. I hope your
husband is all right Mrs. 81 'opes so.
sir-it,n be six months come Christmas
rs it genuine chippendale?" "Abso-
right 1na5 io ok IKE GraGs
himself, sir, in a fit of rags When he
heard the union had called the men out"
Punch
Miss Parvenu-I was almost sorry, ma,
that you spoke SO rudely to that poor
dear, pray where is the satisfaction Of
being in the best society If you cannot
Call.
Mark Twain's story of Horace Ctreeley's
handwriting has a parallel in this from
a railroad conductor in Missouri to the
president of the road: "A farmer has
been riding on this pass for about year
Do you want him to continue to use IT ?''
The president put on his glasses and
looked the poper over carefully. Then he
wrote this to the conductor: "This is not
q pass. 1t is a receipt 1 gave the fellow
for load of wood year ago."-Colum-
bia eEIrald.
While one thing essential to a cultured
lawyer is thorough knowledge of Latin,
it is not necessary that he should parade
his classical knowledge, for he might be
taken down a peg" as was the young
lawyer who displayed his learning before
Gentlemen of the jury, the young law
yer who just addressed you has roamed
with Romulus, canted with Cantharides,
ripped with Euripides, socked with Soc
rates, but what does he know about the
laws of rkansas?'-Argonaut
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

higher than foreign countries. OF la.e
the tendency has been for a reduced
cost of living. Food products have
especially declined and many other
commodities, notably iron and steel.
have been on the downward grade.
Bradstreet's index figure dropped from
9.23 in January, 1910. to 8.o7 in Feb
ruary, 1911 This declining tendency
seer1s likely to continue owing to quiet
trade and restraint upon speculation.
But had railroad rates been increased
a movement in the other direction
might have been expected, for We
would certainly have had a temporary
period of increased activity which,
however, would have proved more in
the nature of an intoxicant than
genuine recovery"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08
THE NEW srENoGRAPHER.

Il
At last, thought. I'd found a place
TO unger for a while:
with fortitude steeled myself
And donned my sweetest smile:
Just come in here and bring your book,
you're quick, without q doubt,
Write this man this, and ttal maa that,
And rush the letters o..t:
Make out this list-this statement write,
And telegraph this man
10 meet me at two-thirty sharp,
And bring all facts he can;
And figure up this little bill
And get the balance right,
These papers must be filed away
Before another night;
Get out the cards-a piece of string
Put this in diary now
CThe sweat in little streamlets poured
AdoWn my dazzled brow)-
The checkbOok now-I want a wire
Call John four hundred ten,
Don't cut me of-don't touch the wire
DON'T CUT ME OFF AGAIN.
1t is enough; my heads awhirl,
cannot go the pace,
Tomorrow morn I'll look around
And find another place
-L1via lone Young, in the New York
Times,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Persons with hobbies generally keep
out of all other mischief.
= n
A wise man never equips himself
with an especially attractive umbrella.
= X
The more foolish the idea, the big
ger the hit it makes with some people
4 y
Not only is the cost of experience
heavy, but more often it isn't worth
the price.
X X
Many singers seem to go on the the
ory that noise is all they're expected
to make.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

Bud Mars is different from most of
the aviators who have stuck to the
flying game for any lengthy period. He
got a gold medal the other day. The
majority of his erstwhile colleagues
have been provided with tombstones.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

How many clergymen or men in
other activities are there, who. like
Dr. Aked of the Fifth Avenue Baptist
church Of New York city, would find
their work disappointing when it car
ried with it a salary Of $4,000 a year?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

legislature. But before they get along
very far they'll be sure to stumble up
against the cold. hard fact that the
gulf between fine theories and prac-
tice is wide and deep. Still, their good
intentions are worthy Of commenda-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

So Edward Payson Weston's walking
trips across the continent are not to go
unrewarded. Several prominent New
Workers are going to give him a din
ner on March Is.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

the effect that there has been severe
fighting in the sections where the rev.
oIution is rife. When the details come
in it is probable they will read a good
deal like those which described the
famous and bloodless Battle of Juarez
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08
FpON OFFER PENS
THE HOG SERENE.

Consider for a moment the hog.
The hog is natures sedative. He is
the antithesis of excitement and the
anesthetic of worry. When frayed
nerves cry out in protest, and the
tired brain aches with surfeit of
care or pleasure, go then to the hum
bic pig sty and learn a lesson of
repose. What does the farmer do
when the hired man gives notice, or
grasshoppers threaten to take the up
per eighty? He heads for the hog
lot; and, with his elbows on the top
rail and one foot in an intermediate
crack, he watches the swine at their
evening meal till his soul finds peace.
AS a preventive of nervous prostra-
ton, a sanitarium, compared to
hog, is riot and the seashore is an
insurrection. His peaceful grunt is
lullaby to tortured ears, and his
placid oblivion of the flight of time
is a rebuke to the strenuous. As he
pokes his nose into the moist earth
never furiously, but with calm and
quiet-and upturnS the succulent
roots that he may add weight to his
hams and breadth to his spare ribs,
to the ultimate profit of the butcher,
we are reminded of the futility of
crying out against the fate for which
We are being fattened and taught to
bow the head in humility. Reach
over the top of the fence and scratch
his bristly back with a raspy cob and
his legs, unable to support his excess
burden of pleasure, crumble beneath
him, and he sinks to sleep, singing Il
song of contentment that rumbles
forth from cavernouS depths. His
humble limitations have not made the
hog a pessimist- On the contrary, he
is your true optimist.-Kansas City
Star.
EDUCATED DOMESTIC SERVICE.
OF
Washington has been studying the
servant girl problem for two years,
and now declares it has solved it. The
alliance finds it is ignorance, not lazi-
ness, that is at the bottom OF the ex-
listing troubles. It is, therefore. pro-
posed to give servants adequate train
ing, and establish uniform wage
scale and regular hours, and thus put
these servants on the same basis with
skilled workers.
This is a sensible idea. Educated
housekeeping or kitchen work is just
as necessary as educated engineering,
or law practice or military service.
Trusting the joys Of home to ignor-
ance is a deplorab1e policy. There is
one thing in the way of this purpose,
which may disappear when ignorance
departs, and that is calling these
is no need to speculate upon this
term. Everybody can understand the
philosophy of the situation. Educa-
ton will remove it, or the servant"
There is another thing to be observ
ed. and that is the beau business We
heard two women talking about it on
the trolley the other day. One said
she was much pestered by the beaux;
that ever since Kate had one she was
only half account: but the other add
ed, ''Oh, the bean business doesn't
bother me at ALL fix the fire, lock
up the cake. go to bed. and let 'em
court till they get tired" But that
doesn't solve the difficulty--Ohio
State Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

An aged New York broker lost nego-
table securities Of the value Of 100000
the other day. The fact that any man
has that much wealth to lose in a
lump is what gives this item of news
some inportance
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

Senator Lorimer was given a most
enthusiastic reception on his return to
Chicago. But it wasn't engineered by
the Chicago Tribune, nor is there any
record that the members of the Ham
iltOn club and colonel Roosevelt were
invited to participate in 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

William Jennings Bryan has an
nounced emphaticalIy that he will new
er again be a candidate for the prest-
dency. Still conditions might so
shape themselves, ETC.. etc.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

Conditions seem to be improving in
this country all the time. A big din
ner was given to Champ Clark at
Washington the other night and no
speeches were made Think of It, a
dinner without speeches! Mirabile
s5icf11f
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

open the churches and public halls to
young men and girls for the purposes
of lovemaking.. She blames the lack
Of opportunity for young people to be-
come acquainted for most of the I'M
happy marriages. It is easy to see
that Lady Cook is making a bid for
popularity with the young folk.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELoH
rFrom the New York Press.1

IFTOIH IHt NpW IOIK PICSS.I
Trust a man If you have to.
Stealing doesn't seem to be If it's
enough.
It's ever so much easier to shoot
straight than to shoot fair.
Women have a lot coming to them
from angels for what they don't get
from men.
A man has better memory about
the sweet things he used to be able to
say to the girls he didn't marry than
to the one he did.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

New York socialists have adopted
stirring resolutions demanding that the
United States senate be abolished. In
asmuch, though. as they would proba-
bly, substitute something much worse.
1t will probably be we'll to worry along
with the senate for a little while yet.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

Now that Manuel, former king or
Portugal, has been granted rather
magnificent allowance by his native
land, he has become infatuated with
another Partisan actress.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

All of the pitchers IN the major and
minor baseball leagues are reported to
be in wonderful physical condition and
form these days-when it isn't particu-
larly necessary that they should be.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

This is where Missouri has one on
Kansas. The corncob pipe crop in the
Hshow me- state was worth $450,41S in
1910. But. then, Kansas hasn't a crop
of any kind that isn't worth more than
that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

April showers bring forth May flow
ers. But what's the result when the
April showers come along during the
first part of March?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

Another sure sign Of spring. The
metropolitan newspapers have begun
to insert their link, green and other
colored sporting pages.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

Tod Sloan, the American jockey, who
has been living in Europe for num-
Der of years, ought to take to avia-
ton like a duck does to water. He's
been a. high-fiier for years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

Some people will be sure to see a
special significance in the winning of
a hammer contest at Oxford by a
Rhodes scholar from Kansas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

Extensive preparations are being
made by the Democratic members, who
will have control of the next house of
representatives, for the transaction of
business in that branch Of the national
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

A new "Men and Religion Move
ment'' has been started. What's be-
come Of that laymen's missionary
movement that was going to evange-
lie the whole world in jiffy?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

The State Journal Is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the tuh day
EanIzation for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news Ia received in The State jour
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-08

FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.