The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-07-06
HOW FiE WAS
E.-,1ECUTED
By OSCAR cox
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation, 1911.

his fellow beings with great zest. But
try TO make him kin even one Of them
In cold blood. then you will see what
a difficult matter 1t is.
There was once kingdom not as
big as Monaco, and that is small
enough in all conscience Little Some
shon was but Eve miles In circumfer.
ence. Yet II was perfect Kingdom,
for King Shandigrab was a real royal
parsonage. Ave feet high ave feet
around the girth and wore crown
that weighed pretty nearly as much
as himself He had cabinet masters
OF the robes and hounds and courtiers
galore. There were 5000 com,noners.
| with number of horses. mules, cars
and other animals. The general of the
army OF forty men tnlostly effectives,
was terrible fellow. With fierce mus.
taehios as pointed as his sword.
| hut the army and the general were
both for show for the Kingdom was
under the protection OF Its neighbor
the emperor Of HoIlibag. who had been
paying 1t stated sum ever since the
principal part OF the territory had been
Topped Off many centuries before for
the benefit Of the empire. Besides
the little Sonneshons were the most
peaceful people In the world So ten
der hearted were they that once when
musquito few over there from what
Is now New Jersey they refrained from
killing 1t. SO that it planted all the
pools with mosquitoes.
Nevertheless there was once muir
der committed In the kingdom by a
man named Hans Gotterman. But
that was an exceptional case. for be
killed his wife, who was nagger,
Perhaps for this extraordinary incite-
ment to murder he might have gone
scot free had be not been lazy and
generally worthless so he was con.
victed and sentenced to have his head
chopped of.
But here arose a difficulty. There
was royal executioner. but. like the
general Of the army. he was for show
constantly carrying an ak on his
shoulder. But the ak was wooden and
its bearer so tender hearted that when
he had fried chicken for breakfast his
wife was obliged to cut of its head.
At meeting Of the cabinet the
matter OF Hans Gotterman was dis
cussed, and it was agreed that the
royal executioner wouldn't do for the
job at all So 1t was decided to send
n request to the emperor of Hollibag
for the loan of his headsman. Unfor-
tunately there had been a revolution
in the empire. and the royal execu
toner was so busy cutting of the
heads of rebels that he could not he
spared.
AT another meeting of the cabinet II
was decided to offer a hundred pieces
Of gold to whomsoever would execute
the murderer. The offer was posted
everywhere throughout the kingdom,
and the king and bis cabinet waited
for some one to step forward, accept
1t and put an end to Gotterman. But
no one was willing to kill a man at
the price. and as no other expedient
was suggested Gotterman still lived.
One day mosquito bit him and i'm.
pregnated him with bacteria that
caused q terrible fever. The court
waited expectantly, thinking the man
would die, but he disappointed them
by getting well, and since it cost con.
siderable to keep him the cabinet de.
cided to let him out on his promise to |!
return when an executioner could be |
found to behead him. He rather OBJ |
jected to this. but his keeper stopped |
his food and thus forced compliance.
Every few days he would pretend he |
had heard that an executioner had ar
rived and 60 back to the Jail, demand. |
ing food I'D interim Thus be got to |
be an insufferable bore. No one could |
be found to kill him, he wouldn't die.
One day 1t was reported to the king |
that fifty coal miners had been buried |
In a mine. These were citizens the |
state could not afford to lose. The |
cabinet ordered a hundred men col.
lected at great expense to dig the min
ers out. They dug month. when one
day, hearing voice. they made their
way with pick and shovel toward the
sound. After several days hard work
they broke into compartment and
there found Gotterman.
He said he had gone into the mine
for work, but when asked how he had
lived so long without food pointed to
Atty empty dinner pals. He had gone
into the place where the entombed men
had placed their dinners. None of the
laborers was ever got out alive Got.
terman alone survived the catastrophe.
The king was much incensed when
he heard the story Of Gotterman's res.
cue and renewed his efforts among the
neighboring states for the loan OF an
executioner, but without success. Then
came a written offer from the murder
er to cut his own head Off for the prom
Used reward. The cabinet could not ac-
cept 1t, because there was a law of
the Kingdom against suicide.
One day when the cabinet was In
council a member presented an offer
from woman who was known to be
a frightful shrew to marry Gotter-
man II she were paid as dowry the
hundred pieces Of gold for his execu
ton. The cabinet decided to accept
the offer. As soon as Gotterman heard
that he must marry tAe shrew all his
courage left him. He had got rid Of