The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-01-17
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0UPFUNNYS1
MANS0LUMN
"Hew to the line"
That maxim fine
Produces many quips,
Beyond a doubt,
Just now about
The Saratoga chips.
Kansas City Journa

A deputation of three soldiers once
came to the late Doctor Lueger to
make some kind OF a request in
their behalf The bungomaster Of
Vienna turned to one of the soldiers
with the following inquiry: What
would YOU do if the kaiser com
manded you to shoot the burgomas-
ter?'
Il would shoot him." said the sol
dier.
so" exclaimed Doctor LueSer,
'and what is your religion
Il am a Protestant"
Doctor Lueger spoke to the sec
ond soldier
What would you do if the kaiser
commanded you to shoot the burgo-
master?"
Then would shoot him." said
the soldier.
And what is your religion?'
Il am a Catholic"
The burgomaster turned to the
third soldier.
Would you have shot me if the
kaiser commanded you to do so?'
"No," said the soldier,
And what is your religion?"
Il am a Jew" he answered.
ter. DO you not know that | am
the greatest anti-Semite in Austria? :?
Tell me, why would you not have
shot me?'
Because ! have no rifle: | am
the drummer of the regiment. jew
ish Chronicle.
How about this, Frank?" asked
the magistrate.
"It amt so, and pepper knows it,
walled the offspring of the perturbed
octogenarian. I've tried to be a
good boy all my life, and poper
knows that, too"
"Why. Judge, your honor" inter
posed "popper,' the boy tried to
smother us all by turning on the
gas just because punished him
for coming home drunk"
"Um-m-um," mumbled the whis-
kered youth at the bar.
Has he been drinking long? ask
ed the Judge.
Since he was fifteen" answered
Williams, pere.
We'll. | think you are an incor-
rigible young scamp said the mag
istrale as he sentenced him.
AS young Williams was being
led back to his cell he turned to
his father and walled:
Pepper, let up on me, please
I'll not take another drink if you
will take me home with you
mo, Frank the stern father re-
piled, you have been a bad boy
and it is high time you had good
lesson. l hope your future life will
be better for your painful expert
enCe. Exchange.
1t was the habit of Charles II,
Ioyt, the dramatist, to invite al
most everybody he met to come up
and spend a few weeks with him
at his summer home in New Hamp-
shire.
Come up and stay a couple of
weeks with me" he would say, when
he had talked for a few moments.
Glad to have you. l need company
up there
One night Hoyt, Bert Dasher. W.
H. Currie, Frank Mckee and sever
al other house guests OF Hoyt's
were sitting on the veranda of
Hoyt's summer house waiting for
dinner The train had just arrived
and they saw an old farmer and
his wife coming up the path.
"Who are they?" asked Hoyt.
Il never saw them before"
The dickens you didn't" replied
Currie. That is the old yap and
his wife you talked to over at
Springfield and invited to visit
you"
oh well" said Goyt, maybe |
they are just coming in to dinner.
They will take the night train |
back"
Then he looked again and saw
the hired man behind the farmer
and his wife and wheeling a big |
trunk on the wheelbarrow.
NO. by George shouted Hoyt, |
they are here for a rum"
And they stayed a month.-Cleve-
land Leader.
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