New-York tribune., 1911-01-01
THE Talk OF THE DAY.

When the Stock Exchange was ABOUT 10
close IN Yesterday smiling memocr was
receiving the felicitations of his colleagues
for beins the one man who certainly
made money in the last year. A year ago
the member had taken front seat on
the "yater wagon" and was promptly De-
sieeed by fellow members with offers to
wager that he would fall, stop or be
thrown off before the year was over. He
took every bet and they ranged from hats
and cigars to checks OF respectable value.
Yesterday he was arranging to cash in"
Hence the congratulations
What makes you think she is uncult-
ured?'
she thinks Ibsen's plays are stupid
well, "a lot OF people think So
"Yes but she says so."-Toledo Blade.
SWEARING oFF-A TIMELY sOLILO-
GUY.
Now Nineteen Ten is dying fast. and ere
next year begins
must decide to rid myself OF some beset-
ting sins.
Last year | swore off getting mad
irascible I'm reckoned-
And really kept my temper down-till Janu-
ary second.
have sworn off both smoke and cards, for
smoking makes me sick,
And when play bridge whist for cash I
scarcely take a trick.
I'm really somewhat at a loss 70 find some
fault TO spare
With which to celebrate the birth Of the
approaching year,
must find something to swear off ere my
resolve relaxes.
BY Jove I'll wait week or 10 and then
swear of my taxes.
GEORGE Il. NORWOOD.
McCool-Whsts my biIlf
Clerk-What room?
McCool-I slept on the billiard table.
Clerk-Ftfty cents an hour. Chicago
News.
High finance and politics are not uncom-
mon companions IN some of the Latin
american republics, but love and politics
are not such a common combination An
instance Of 1t is told In one of those coun-
tries and In this case it threatens to dis
rupt the Cabinet Of the President The lat
ter appointed a promising young man 10
the important portfolio OF Minister OF the
paid marked attention TO a daughter of the
President and the supposed courtshlp grew
So also did the prestige of the minister.
But one day recently the President, In the
capacity Of father. called in the minister
and the latter was not ready TO say that
his attentions TO the daughter meant that
he had any idea Of becoming a member OF
other than the official family OF the Presi-
dent The announcement Of a new Min
lister OF the Interior ia now looked for
daily
Mother. the baby is having a fit."
Just as I'm dealing complained Mrs.
why couldn't she have
waited until I was dummy?'-Was
Herald.
Germany is about to begin a vigorous
campaign for the suppression OF the dan
gerous long hatpln. With the approval Of
the Bavarian government. the chief of the
Munich police department has already is
sued an ordinance forbiddng It's use in that
city. and the Berlin chief Of police recent
ly announced his intention to take a similar
step.
The lone bandit was about to enter the
sleeping car
Stand back cried the furious porter.
confronting him with magazine gun In
each hand. Il haven't gone through these
passengers myself yet"
With yell Of impotent rage the baff'ed
villain threw himself from the train.-Chi-
oago Tribune.
Mr.. Hedley. New Yorks subway czar,
might recruit few "pusbers" In Toxic.
1.-The japan MALI OF that city says: Con
ductors ought TO be positively forbidden To
push passengers by main force into crowd
ed cars. II Is most unpleasant to have a
conductor order YOU peremptorily TO go into
a car that II Is quite impossible 10 lind
room In. When IA car IL full Il Is full and
there is no way to get into Il except by be-
ing rude To those occupying IL. Now. IL
tho conductor is honestly convinced that
there Is room for an extra passenger I'm
the crowded car he ought himself to be
compelled u ind the space for you before
you 10 enter But this does not
bother him In the least lie simply tells
you that you must go In and compels you
to make room for yourself"
Yes. sir" said tho trust mssnats, proud
ly, II am The architect OF nav own fortune"
Well rejoined the friendly critic. call
I've got w say Is that it's lucky thing for
you there We're no building Inspectors
around when you was constructing IT,
Chicago NewA