davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08


A matter Of fact sacristan Of the Ca
thedral Of Berlin once wrote the king
Of Prussia this brief note:
Sire-I acauaint your majesty. first. that
there are wanting books OF psalms for the
royal family. l acquaint your majesty.
second, that there wants wood to warm
the royal seats. 1 acQuaint your majesty.
third, that the balustrade next the river.
behind the church. il become ruinous.
SCHMIDT.
Sacrist Of the Cathedral.
The reply Of the king was not that Of
q gracious majesty" Its stiff formal
1ty in Initiating the style Of the sacris-
tan probably was not taken by the re-
ceiver as complimentary to him:
acquaint you. Herr Sacrist Schmidt.
first, that those who want to sing may
buy books. Second. I acQuaint Herr Sa-
crist Schmidt that those who want to be
warm must buy wood. Third. acQuaint
Herr Sacrist Schmidt that / shall not
trust any longer to the balustrade next
the river. And I acquaint Herr Sacrist
Schmidt. fourth. that will not have any
more correspondence with him.
FREDERICK.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
Always Feminine.

A young chap was walking along
q business street with q very pretty
girl when be happened to glance into
q couple of windows where the latest
styles Of mems overcoats and suits
were displayed. The girl noticed It.
She stopped and exclaimed: "Wbat a
dandy overcoat! Why don't you get
one Of those. Bob? You'll look fine in
side Of that"
She looked at everything in that
window. and the young chap was de-
lighted at her interest In mems
clothes.
you're all right. Grace" said be.
THAT'S what I Ike about you. Most
girls would rather look at lingerie
waists than at . mans overcoat and
suits"
The girl laughed. well. Bob" said
she. ito be perfectly honest. the mir
rors in that window are something to
cry for. was trying to see II my hat
was on straightv'
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08

Maybe I won't have to take medi-
cine again, and even II I do have to
take u maybe the doctor will prescribe
an ambrosial mixture. but II should
- conAemned for my sins to swallow
vile doses I know how III take them"
q city salesman volunteered. "A man
who WAS doctoring himself in the drug
store showed me the way.
The druggist had mixed . particu-
larry obnoxious dose The man before
taking It asked for cracked ice. The
errand boy brought II. several spoon
fuls nearly pulverized. The sick man
held that in his mouth until It melted.
after which the medicine seemed as
mild n tea.
~ always prepare my mouth that
way for q disagreeable medicine the
man said. The ice numbs the nerves,
and the medicine slips down without
leaving any taste. good or bad. "-Ex-
change.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
The Giant's staiecass.

One Of the most widely known geo.
logical curiOsities In the vicinity Of
Cork is q series Of knobs or knots pro-
jecting from the face Of q Gill; There
are sixteen Of these huge projections
all together. all regularly set in the
face Of the cliff. one above the other,
forming a series Of such uniformity as
to give it the general appearance Of q
stairway. Since time out Of memory
this queer ascent and its projecting
steps" have been known IA the CT
ants Staircase.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08

what was the origin Of the phrase
for drunkenness. three sheets in the
windy" q landsman asked q sailor the
other day. We'll" said the sailor.
an explain that matter to you The
tive lower corners Of q ships sail are
held taut by two ropes. one called
tack and another called q sheet. The
tack II always kept very tight. but
the sheet Is lOosened according to the
wind. and the lOoser the sheet Is the
more freely the sail swings. II the
sail h quite free Its sheet Is said to
be In the wind Now. suppose that
all three Of q ships sails were quite
free. They would then ny about very
Grady. and the ship would wabble.
The course Of the ship would be q zig
rag one. and the reason for this would
be that she had three sheets in the
wind That. ] guess. Is why q man
when be siGzaEs In bis course Is said
to b. Three sheets In the wind also"
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
How He Wen.

A rich old man was asked how he
made his money. Simplest thing In
the world" he said. Il always did the
reverse Of what everybody else was
doing. II everybody bought, sold
prices were high. II everybody sold,
I bouRht-peices weEe low"
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
A Sian at Whistlae.

A young San franciscan, the owner
Of q large and valuable collection Of
autographs. once wrote to James Nc
Neill Whistler. politely requesting his
signature. The letter was sent In care
Of the London Royal academy. with
which the famous American painter
was at outs. After four months the
letter was returned to the San Fran
cisco address from the dead letter Of
dee In Washington. Covering the en-
velope was the word. repeated num-
berless times. Unknown"
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
He Oct the Naiso.

You want more money? Why, my
boy, I worked three years Tor I'll
month right in this establishment and
now I'm owner Of It."
"Weil. you see what happened to
your boss. No man who treats his
help that way can hang on to his bust
Aess"-Chicago Record Herald
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
Boston Could Stand It.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once made a
crushing reply TO a man who asked
him whether the people In Boston did
not feel alarmed. Said Emerson.
what about:" Said the man. why.
the world Is coming to an end next
Monday" Emerson replied: I'm glad
Of it. We can get along q great deal
better without It."
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
ne FINALLY GOT WARM.


u Westoro lnoooe Experience On . Geld
MIGHT In Dordeaux.
What beautiful sunshine We had q,
Bordeaux. and how nice and warm 1t
was In the daytime! As long as the
sun kept out 1t was lovely; but. oh.
when the sun went down!
They gave gave me q beautiful, large.
lofty room at the hotel with doors and
windows all over It, After dinner !
went up to try To write. and then l
found that Siberia had come again. l
put great logs Of wood upon the fire
and blew them with the bellows till
the flames reared up the chimney, but
still I shivered in the Icy blasts that
blew through every crevice. put on
my ulster, I dragged the blankets from
the bed. ran races around the room
and practiced the Indian clubs with i
heavy p0rtmanteau In each hand, hut
still felt my blood c01gealing, and the
horrors Of the early morning came
hack again.
In this dilemma my companions SUI
dan experiences stood Us In good stead
He was with Gordon In the expedition
Of 1867. He took our walking sticks
and umbrellas. and with these and the
blankets and the rugs he rugged up a
nice. comfortable tent In front Of the
fire.
Sitting in this tent in our big room
We at last got warm, and my fingers
were able to hold q pen.-GeOrge X.
Sims In "Dagonet Abroad"
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
Her ouoe. Question.

The rector Of q country parish In
England having sent blankets, gorcer-
les, Goals and some Of the good things
usual at Christmas to an old parish
Toner a lady expatiated warmly to him
on the reverend gentleman's kindness
Don't you think" she asked the old
villager, that 1t is very good Of the
rector to look after you like this and
send you all these nice things:"
Good Of him." exclaimed the old
man In blank amazement. why,
what's he fOr:"-PearsOn's Weekly.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08

Angelick SNUFF. the most noble COM
position in the world. removing all
manner Of disorders Of the head and
brain. easing the most excruciat1ng
pain in u moment. taking away all
swimming and giddiness proceeding
from vapOurs. ETC.: also dr0wsiness.
sleepiness and other lethargick effects.
perfectly curing deafness to admira-
tion and all humours and soreness in
the eyes. etc. C0rrOb0rates the brain.
comforts the nerves and revives the
spirits. Its admirable efficacy In all
the above mentioned diseases has been
experienced above q thousand times
and very Justly causes 1t to be es-
teemed the most beneficial SNUFF in the
world Price II . paper. with direc-
tons. Sold only at Mr.. Payn's toy
shop at the Angel and Crown. In st.
Pauls churchyard, near Cheapsids.-
Advertisement in London Paper, Aug.
Q, iii.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
P1ayinQ Her Cards.

Tommy-Nay stay up little long
er? Ethel-What do you want to stay
up for? Tommy-I want to see you
and Mr.. Green playing cards. Mr..
Green-But We are not going to play
cards. Tommy-Oh, yes. you are. for
I heard mamma saying to Ethel that
everything depended on the way In
which she played her cards tonight.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
Really Weeth While.


Eben Pratt Of Marshby had sent two
sons to Boston and knew he had rea-
son to be proud Of them. One day q
summer visitor lingering In Mr.. Pratt's
grocery. provision and dry goods es-
tablishment mentioned some Of the
shining lights who had made them
selves remembered in and near Boston
and others still to be found there.
"We've had q good many smart men
and women in and around our city"
said the visitor, and there are q num-
Der of them left. We've got scientific
men and writer's and artists and musi-
clans and
Mr.. Pratt's dry voice broke in on the
list. III ye call those folks smart"
he said. we want to 60 down near
the water to an address Ill give ye
and see the way my boys. Ed and
Sam, can open oysters! guess thatll
give ye something to 60 by when ye're
talking Of smartness.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
Cautious.

The young housekeeper was looking
ut some soft shell crabs sQuirming and
wriGgling In their bed Of ,seaweed.
They're very nice" said the dealer.
''1hau I send you q do9enT
Yes" answered the innocent, III
Z Ts:k y: 5s,. .sS: tA'yf''' f'e'h'"-ssw
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08

The Hosts Youneest-Don't your
o1oeD feel very uneomfoetabas when
you walk, Mrs. NuEyeAe? Mn, NJ
syche-Dear me! What IN sxtraordi.
aary question! Why Do you ask, child:
The Hosts Younsest-0h. only cos On
sa1d the Other day since you'd come
into yoof mooey you'd got fhr too big
Tor Jour boots.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
Trials and TOmptstions,

Every man deems that he has pre-
cisely the trials and temptations which
are the hardest Of all for him to bear,
but they are 80 because they are the
very ones he needs.-Richter.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
Oeianoli In q 1osnDoe.

On one occasion Bianchi, the noted
teacher. went on the stage to see Bri-
snoli. the famous singer. whom he
found pacing up and down like mad
man. humming over his part.
"Why. Brig. what 10 the matter with
you? Are you nerv0usY' he asked.
YES, I am nervous," was the reply
~ he walked harder and faster than
ever.
But. Brig. you ought not to be nerv-
ouA I've heard you sing the part 200
times. heard you sing It thirty
years ago."
Thirty years ago! Who are you
that should know % much:"
who am I? You know who I am.
and know who you are"
Every well: you know what am,
but am sure you do not know what
you are. and II you wish I win tell
you. You are fool!'
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
Fly Time.

H0well-What q the best time Of DAY
10 60 up in an airship? Powell-Well,
I've always been a believer in early
rising.-New York Press.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
Redhet Plays.

Hooh0t rays.
>"It Is q tremendous undertaking to
get q new play accepted and produc-
ed" once said the late Clyde Fitch to
a friend. so many are written. and
% few ever see the light Of day. An
English playwright with q gift Of hu-
morous exaggeration illustrated this
fact to me once. He told me how be
Submitted q play to q celebrated &C.
tor and how In the course Of the con-
versation the actor remarked:
"'Don't you think 1t Is growing
chilly in this room?
"'Yes: 1t is rather the young play
wright admitted.
Then the actor rang bell. and q
servant forthwith appeared.
":James.' said the actor. this room
Is rather cold. You may put three
more manuscripts on the Ore Zip.
DincOtt'S.
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
Willino to q Honest.

"USsbu0 ~ ~ ssOssOOs
Phil May. the great English artist,
earned his first fame in Australia. One
day q broken down minister applied to
him for charity, and May engaged him
a. q model As joke he also demand
ed that his eighty-year-old pensioner
agree to leave him his skeleton when
he died. When May left Australia he
called his model in. "You've played
me dirty trick" said May. by swim
ding me out of that skeleton. ! could
have bought one In sound order and
condition for half the money you've
cost me-" The old fellow. conscious OF
his base ingratitude to his best and
most patient friend. answered: Don't
be angry with me. Mr.. May. It's not
my fault. mesnt to keep my word.
Stay In Sydney few months longer
and give me another chance to show
you that ] am q man Of honor"
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
0eSoo'f ED Thom.

Slimm-Our landlady says she nkss
70 zee her boarders have good Ape.
t1too. Smart-Well some women aro
naturally cruel-BooeoD Transcript
The Columbus journal., 1911-02-08
What Did Che Aoeso3

Shop Assistant ito purchaser OF wid-
ow's bonust,-Would you IKE to Try II
% before the giass. madam2 Gus
tomer-So. thank you. mis-. It amt
for Ne. ! wish e WaA-0tfay 0tog1so.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-12-20
The New Mems Wear Shop SOC Ties, goo.
Only This Evening Morning. rom t
Cloth=bound Books at SOC.

Kingdom of Slender Swords, H. e.
Rives.
Lewis Rand Mary Johnston.
Man from Glengarry, The. r. Conner.
Martin Eden, Jack London.
Music Master. The, Charles Klein
Penelope's Irish Experiences, Wigein.
Penelope's Progress, X. D. Wiggin.
Primadonna, The, F. Marion Craw
ford.
Rock in the Baltic, A. Robert Barr.
Seventh Noon, The. F. o. Bartlett.
Splendid Idle Forties, Gertrude Ath-
Tess of the Storm Country, G. n.
White
The Usurper. William j. Locke.
The White Cat, Gelett Burgess.
Glengarry School Days. Ralph Conner.
Young Wallingford, George r. Ches-
Marcia Schuyler, Grace L. H. Lutz
Cardillac, Robert Barr.
Madame X, Bison & McConaughy.
Barbara Ladd. Charles G. D. Roberts
The Hungry Heart. D. Graham Phil
lips.
The Beauty, Mrs. Wilson Woodrow.
The Old Peabody Pew, Kate p Wig
gin.
The Lords Of High Decision, NJ.
Nicholson.
The Man Higher Up. H R. Miller.
keziah Coffin, ]. c. Lincoln
Through the Wall, C. Moffett.
The Social Buccaneer. F. S. Isham.
The Steering Wheel. r. A. Wason.
The Victory of Allan Rutledge, A.
Corkey.
The Cloister and the Hearth, Reade.
An Apache Princess, Gen. Charles
King.
Ashes of Empire, Robert w.
Chambers.
At the Time Appointed, Barbour
Audrey
Barabbas, Marie CorelH.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-12-20

Of these newspapers are not mere college
Journals, but are general newspapers. CIV
ing the news Of the community In which
thew are published. They carry advertis-
ing in their columns and have regular
subscription lists and the students make
them profitable business enterprises.
These new schools Of journalism are not
theoretical, they are intensely practical.
'sThe final test of the success OF these
schools of journalism must come. OF
course. in the success OF those VINO are
successfully made in many cases by the
scores of graduates and former students
who have taken work In journalism In the
new schools and who are now holding re-
sponsible positions in American Journal
ism. .
ut is not expected to make journalists
in these new schools any more than law
yers can be manufactured in q law school
or doctors in a school Of medicine. T. is
by adding to the intellectual resources
and the equipment me-. OF the
lists need no training. The claim Is made
that the reporter Is born. not NADIA 1t
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-12-20

Ishmael, Mrs. Southworth.
Ivanhoe, Sir Walter Scott
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte.
Kenilworth, Sir Walter Scott.
Life of Kit Carson, Edward S. Ellis,
Lamplighter. Maria s. Cummins.
Last Of the Mohicans, Fenimore
Cooper.
Little Lame Prince, Miss Muloch.
Lucille. Owen Meredith.
Macaria,, Augusta J. Evans.
Marble Faun, Nathaniel Hawthorne.
Merie's Crusade, Rosa Nonchette
Missing Bride, Mrs. Southworth.
My Own Fairy Book, Andrew Lang
Pillar Of Fire, Rev. j. n. Ingraham.
Pioneers. J. Fenimore Cooper.
Robinson Crusoe, Daniel Defoe
Romance of Two Worlds, CorelI
Samantha at Saratoga, Marietta
The Simple Life, Charles Wagner
The Spy, J. Fenimore Cooper
Stepping Heavenward. e, P. Prentiss
Swiss Family Robinson, Johan, r.
Wyss
Tom Brown at Oxford, Thomas
Twenty Years After, Alexander
Uncle Toms Cabin, Fl. B. Stowe.
Under Two Flags. Ouida
Viva. Mrs. SouthWorth.
Wee Macgreegor, ]. ]. Bell.
MISCELLANEOUS and Sun
shine. Aikenside. Bad Hugh, Cousin
Maude, Darkness and Daylight, Dora
Deane, The English Orphans, The
. Homestead on the Hillside.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-12-20
For Young People.

The Boys of Columbia High, Graham
B. Forbes.
The Boys of Columbia High on the
Diamond. Graham B. Forbes
The Boys of Columbia High on the
River, Graham B. Forbes
The Boys of Columbia High on the
Grfdiron. Graham B. Forbes
Tom Swift and His Wireless Mes
sage, Tom Swift Among the Dia-
mond Makers, Tom Swift in the
Caves of Ice. Tom Swift and His
Sky Racer, Tom Swift and His Elec-
trio Rifle. by Victor Appleton
Alice in Wonderland. and Through
The Looking Glass. Carroll.
Beulah, Augusta J. Evans.
Bitter Sweet, ]. G. Holland
Black Beauty, Anna SeYelI.
Black Rock, Ralph Connor.
The Christmas Stories, Dickens
Elsie, Venner, Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Essays complete, one vol), Emerson.
Green Fairy Book, Andrew Lang
Green Mountain Boys, d. P. Thomp-
son.
Grimm's Fairy Tales. Brothers Grimm.
Hans Brinker, NJ. NJ. Dodge.
Hiawatha. Henry w. Longfellow.
Inez, Augusta j. Evans.
In His Steps, Rev. G.. NJ. Sheldon.
Choice for DC.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-12-20
WANTSP 0. DEPARTMENT
: TAKEN OUT OF POLITICS
Mr.. Norris Discusses Reforms
Wrought by insurgents,
Despite Opposition.

The people of this country are going to
demand that the great Post Office De-
partment. the workings of which come
into. our very homes. shall be taken out
OF politics. Then our postal service will
be run more efficiently and more economi-
cally. declared Representative George
w. Norris of Nebraska, In an address at
Ingram Memorial Congregational Church.
ssachusetts avenue and 10th street
northeast last night.
Progressive Citizenship
The subject of Representative Norris
address was Progressive Citizenship.
In the course of his remarks he declared
that the Post Office Department is the
greatest political machine in the country
Taking conditions in Alabama as an illus
ffation, he said that forty-three Of the
forty-Six members Of the Alabama repub-
liean state central committee are post
masters, the remaining three being pri-
vate citizens not ofiiceholders. In other
southern states conditions are almost, if
not quite. as bad.
THE condition in the Post ONCE De-
psrtment is bad enough now he stated,
but it has been worse. Some of the
members of the department have been
put under civil service, others under a
threat
Mr.. Norris denounced the secret caucus
az the enemy of free government, saying
that ii is the means by which the will of
the people is thwarted and the combina-
tons aided. Until the insurgents in the
republican party made their influence
felt, he declared, there was no caucus
held which was not controlled by a minor
ity, and a small minority at that.
Party Ties No More.
The weakening of party ties was dwelt
upon. Mr. Norris saying that 1.-The time
has passed when any party. no matter
how large it's majority, can railroad into
Office a candidate merely because he is
a. party man.
The influence of the insurgents, Mr.
Norris stated, can be seen in many re-
forms which have taken place in govern
mental affairs, despite the attacks to
which the promoters were subjected,
from the White House down: and this in
huence. backed by a we'll crystallized pub
lie opinion, has brought about the condi-
lions for which the insurgents have
ba:tled.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-12-20
WABASH RECEIVERS NAMED.
Judge Ward Makes Appointment in
WESTINGHOUSE Litipation.

NEW. YORK. December 20. - Judge
Ward. in the United States circuit court
today, in the litigation instituted by the
Westinghouse Airbrake Company against
the Wabash Railroad Company. appointed
George w. A1ger and F. a. De:ano as an
ciiIary receivers in this district of all the
property of the railroad company, with
bonds of $4,000 each.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-12-20
SCHOOLS OF JOURNALISM,
BY Frederic ]. Haskin.

The gift of an additional million dol
lars to Columbia University for the es-
tablishment of School of Journalism
by the will of the late Joseph Pulitzer.
thus making Mr.. PulifZer's total gift for
this purpose two million dollars. assures
the foundation of that school within the
next few years According to a high
ofYicer of Columbia University it is abso-
luteIy certain that the terms OF the
Pulitzer beauest will be complied with.
and that within less than the three years
specified there will be on the Columbia
campus in New York an actual school
OF Journalism I'm successful operation
This heavily endowed school will be,
no doubt, the most conspicuous institu-
rion for journalistic education in the
world, but it will be by no means the
only one. The successful schools Of
journalism already in operation in con-
nection with state universities and other
educational institutions of the middle
west have proved the feasibility OF min
istering TO this special need for education
by the scholastic method.
Professional training for journalism is
new in America. Schools of law have
educated men and women for the prac-
tice Of law. Schools of medicine have
trained them FOR the practice of medi-
cine. Schools of. agriculture. engineer
ing and education have existed for years.
Only within the last decade. however.
has there been a decided movement to-
ward the establishment ard maintenance
OF schools Of Journalism. The universe
ties OF the middle west have been the
leaders in this. form OF education More
than a thousand students are now en-
rolled In courses in Journalism offered in
various American state universities. and
the number increases with each school
year.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-12-20
Radical Legislation Opposed.

Although 1t is reported that some q
those present strongly urged the strip
ping Of Gov.-elect Goldsborough OF
most Of his. appointive powers, many
advised against such a scheme, declar-
ing that it would result in a pubic re-
action against the party and would hurt
it for many years to come.
Mr.. Goldsborough is in favor Of the re-
peal of the Wilson ballot law, and his
friends say that he will urge a uniform
law for the entire state. Democrats
however. point out that many differen,
kinds of uniform laws can be devse d
and the one acceptable to Mr.. Gel s.
borough might not be satisfactory to
democrats. For that reason they believe
that this question should be handled
while democrats are in control of all the
branches of the state government.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-12-20

has been urged that there is something
mysterious about newspaper work which
only those divinely inspired may know.
This was said formerly about lawyers
and doctors and preachers and, indeed.
the followers Of every vocation. 1t is no
more true of journalism. the teachers
say. than of any other occupation.
He who has pronounced natural bent
toward any particular work will. OF
course. do better
Natural Bent work than he who
Is not so inclined
Aoos 70 SUCCESS. by nature and tenn
permanent. 1t does not follow. however.
that training is unnecessary to the high
est equipment. 1t is absurd to suppose
that al, unframed, uneducated. unequipped
man may be as successful in Journalism
as one whose training Is broad. whose
knowledge IL large. whose clearness of
vision has ben increased and whose
eqtpment In general has been enlarged by
training IN q school.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-12-20

William c. Humm, son Of John W.
Humm. president of the board of election
supervisors of Frederick county, Nd.
and Miss Pearl Estelle Eyler, daughter
of Mrs. Thomas E. Eyler, were married
Tuesday by Rev. Alonzo D. Winters, pas.
tor of the First Baptist Church The
marriage was n surprise.