davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-06-01

cost you anything) and be sure to
keep your cigar in good working
order; nothing like it to convince a
buyer you are 0. K, and by this
time the room should be so full of
smoke that everything appears in
blue haze.
Since you have the order cinched,
tell him you would like to have the
order typewriter and he will call
clerk. Keep your chair it is the only
one in the room, but the Steno. is
used to taking notes standing up.
Should the buyer happen to mem
tion the date of delivery, promise
him immediate delivery, even though
you have just received notice that
spot stock is all sold out, and orders
now taken, only subject to factory
shipment. which may mean a delay
Of several months. The buyer of
course is used to having this told to
him and draws his conclusions ac-
cordingly.
After the 'Steno' gets your order,
rustic back your samples; take your
time while doing SO, spilling a few
more good stories to keep the buy
ers back up so he cannot work.
This is to keep the other fellow
waiting; he is in no hurry, and also
to make yourself more solid.
Should the buyer become absorb
ed IN his work, wander out of the
office to look up that clerk and ask
if your order is ready; stopping also
to chin short time-yon will get
your order the quicker by so doing.
F Now wander around until you
find a phone; call up your hotel and
find out when your train leaves; you
of course did not have time to do
this while you were waiting at
the hotel. Right here you have an
idea; rush in on the buyer again, of
course without knocking, (you are
an old friend by this time) and ask
him if you could have letter struck
off to go out in the next mail.
They have a clerk just for that pur-
pose and are very glad to accomo-
date you. In getting this letter out.
take your time in debating it, the
clerk has plenty of time. What she
cant do today in the firms work she
can do tomorrow and by all means,
after the letter is about half off the
machine, rush up and make change
or two in same, necessitating a re-
writing.
All this time of course, your path
can be traced by the blue cloud
which envelops you. Remember
the ventilators can easily be opened
at your departure and the office air.
ed out.
When you have. at last received
your order and letter, take your time
in saying good bye to the buyer Che
sure loves you by this time) and
then go around and say good bye to
the balance of the office force. They
/ will be sure to remember you on
your next trip (if you ever come
AGAIN. and in going out the door be
sure to yell loud good bye all.
i On getting back to the hotel you
find you have mislaid your order
somewhere; rush to the phone and
get the buyer on same. Your first
thought of course must be right, you
must have left the order on either
the buyers or the clerks desk, who
wrote up the order At any rate.
, make considerable fuss over it, and
, tell him it must surely be there and
when he finds it, would it not be
! possible to send clerk with same
! TO the hotel.
Concluded on page
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-06-01

To Our EDITOR
Many of the staff have handed bouquet 1t with pleasure
that this cluster gathered
Only
al makeup cean and know your official you
will something good of ALL you up
Quad out LINE fearlessy
face out double-
Play ScooP, but play a rake.
DISPLAY will be good play with fair play.
Give the DEVIL his due at all times.
Use SLUGs donts slug.
Man your TYPE to right type a
Then when your asking VACATION
they will CHECK they will look Forms
OVERTIME for all
know will show CLEAN SHEET you will given
good TAKE because you your
STANDARD to the MEASURE of a
Oh Mrs. OGrady your boy Big today
for five years"
"Oh OToole thrue years? disgrace
the family he wasn't shooting the his he had join
the big bugs Washington"
ata ata the Big House Saltwater he
the Pen mane"
rs all? nam, you me- 1 thought
twas tn House of Representatives he sint"
Every takes whskey,n
the Devil with him. Well"
If he drinks with this he'll pay
his drink take nickel I've only got
Shields foreman of shop NJ his abaory mixing app
Suddenly jumped three the
his assistant Rat h." said Mat, 1T itwasa a horse
sias Rah broke collar bone week.
play gaphaphone
Rough Raths!
sss
Man $4,000 for Titan We where he could buy
dozen Blondes for that.
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
BONUS FOR BABES
BORN ON FOURTH
H|CHIGAN'S IDEA
Uncle Sam Asked If Report
He Pays Five Dollars
Is True.

There is quite a few persons out in
Worthwhile, Micn., who believe that IL
child is born on Independence Day it
is Untitled to s. gold piece from Uncle
Sam.
This news was impaired to Mr.. Hitch
cock. whom the mail clerks selected as
the 'Postoffice Genriel,' in delivering
a letter, which came through the local
office yesterday.
All through the rural districts of the
West, and In this case West means any
thing on the other side of Cumberland
Gap, the people believe that Uncle Sam
is a magnanimous old soul, who cares
well for mis- patriots. They envtthoss
who live in Washington and partaks
of his bounty. The idea of distribute
his children whom the stork delivered
on his birthday, is quite original, how
ever. 1t is SO new that the acting POST
master General shook his head edubi-
ously when the letter was referred 10
him. Mr.. Weed too, was lost lie satdi
to distribute his birthday presents"
The letter to the Postonice GenrieI
runs as follows:
Dear Sir:
There is quite a few persons tell me
that If child Is born on Independence
gold piece from Unkl Sam. i have .
daughter will be seven wears old on
independence Day, she was born 10
1904. So I thought / would write and
see IL it was so. Will you please let
me know by return mail. Ny daughters
Yours
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
CALLS ALDRICH PLAN
UNCONSTITUTIONAL

To the Editor Of THE TIMES:
Sir: A great many personal views
are publicly announced by high. Govern
ment officials in favor of the Aldrich
Few Of them realize that a permanent
currency law must rest on a constttu-
tional foundation, hence our future cur
rency law is determined by our form
of Government
In a monarchy any kind Of a financial
system can be established. but in u
republic, an association of States, 70
currency law can be permanent unless
It is constitutional.
In our Republic the paramount con-
troll of national finances resides in the
Treasury. 1t is actually the only bank
of the United States Government, and
1t is the only official bank of issue.
Neither its financial power or its re-
sponsibility can be divided. All of its
financial prerogatives are absolute. Its
official functions cannot De shared by
central bank, national reserve as
ISOLATION, or bank, or any other finan-
cial institution, nor can Congress law
fully authorize such division or d.
version. There cannot be a financial
partnership between the United States
Treasury and the National Reserve As
ISOLATION, or any other association, as
announced by a high official
The Treasury is the only custodian
of our national credit. National Re-
serve Association notes, representing
national bank notes, cannot be legally
issued, nor can they be accepted under
for the payment of taxes, public dues.
the per cent bonds, or anything else.
Government receipts must be deposit
ed in the Treasury, and canot be with
drawn except by appropriation and war
rant. They cannot be diverted or IN;
trusted to, the custody OF the National
Reserve Association or any other
agency.
When we now start to create new
currency law it must be constitutional
Never again should we violate that
sacred charter like we did in autnor-
izing greenbacks miscalled legal ten.
ders, for which we have never repented
or reformed during years and years OF
prosperity, with billion dollars OF
gold in the Treasury.
The Constitution WAS ordained ana
established~ for the welfare of the peo-
pie who are now expected to again
The Washington times., 1911-07-04

a modish coat adding ten degrees to
the general temperature, are apt to be
too much in the nature of lip service,
and as for joining in the congregational
singing when the very breezes are like
the breath of Tophet, it is asking too
much. Even the suggestion that the
prevailing heat is but foretaste of
the wrath to come does not always
serve to keep summer congregation
in state of pious fear-or even bring
them out to church. We know of moth
ing in the writings of the Fathers of
the Church or the proceedings OF any of
the councils from Nices on down which
forbids a man to pray with his coat off,
and it is certain that he will feel
deep sense of gratitude, at least, if he
is permitted to worship comfortably.
As to the privilege granted the wom-
en-. that is another matter. 1t may
we'll be doubted whether they will re-
gard it as a concession that they be
allowed to take their hats off. pride
knows no pain" according to the prov
erb, confirmed by all human expert
ence, and no place has yet been fSand
where woman really wanted to take
her hat off, except at the millinery
shop where she tries on new one. As
a reluctant favor to those behind her,
she has been known to do So, but in
church she would regard it as a sacri-
fee equal to burnt offering. Taken
altogether, however, the Rev. DR.. Cart
right is on the right line, and in the
enjoyment of the boon of comfort his
sweltering flock will no doubt hear him
gladly.
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
Thousands Who Knew Him
Rejoice in His Last
~
ing Fame.
HIS POETRY HAS
UNIVERSAL APPEAL
Genius for His Keen - Insight
Into Hearts of
,. Men.

It was not alone the simple homli-
ness of his verses nor the genius that
made him at once a delicate master OF
pathos and humor that insufes him a
lasting place among the poets to Eu-
gene F. Ware, who died in Colorado
last Saturday. Along with Hoods
Song of the Shirt" "Ironquill's'' THE
Washerwoman's Song" is destined to
find a lasting place among the classics
of modern literature.
He played on every string of the hui
man emotions and always he found
note of appreciative response. Versa
tile in literature, as he was In public
life, the sincerity and kindly purposes
of his works are his lasting memorial
"Ironquill' is not dead. He lives and
will continue to live in the hearts OF
the whole reading world.
Some OF his most popular and best
known verses follow:
The washerwoman's Song.
In a very humble cot,
In a rather quiet spot,
In the suds and in the soap,
Worked a woman full of hope;
Working, singing, all alone,
In a sort Of undertone:
with the Savior for a friend,
He WILL keep me to the end"
Sometimes happening along,
Il had heard the semi-song,
And l often used TO smile,
More in sympathy than guile;
But never said a word
In regard to what ] heard,
AS she sang about her friend
Who would keep her to the end.
Not in sorrow nor in glee
Working all day long was she,
AS her children, three or four.
Played around her on the toor;
But in monotones the song
She was humming all day long:
with the Savior for a friend.
He will keep me to the end.
It's a song do not sing.
For l scarce believe a thing
or the stories that are told
OF the miracles of old;
But ! know that her BELIEF
Is the anodyne of grief.
And will always be a friend
That will keep her to the end.
Just a trife lonesome che,
Just as poor as poor could pc;
But her spirits always rose,
Like the bubbles In the clothes,
And. though widowed and alone
Cheered her with the monotone,
OF a Savior and friend
Who would keep her to the END.
have seen her rub and scrub,
on the washboard in the tub,
While the baby, sopped In SUES,
Rolled and tumbled in the duds;
Or was padding in the pools,
With old scissors stuck in spools;
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
THE RIGHT TO PRAY IN CON-
FORT.

Fighting sunstroke and the Prince of
Darkness at one and the same time is
too much to ask of frail humanity, so
the Rev. Charles E. Cartright, pastor
of the North Avenue Methodist Epis-
copal Church, of Pittsburg, has effected
a compromise. He has notified the
members of his congregation that the
women, when they come into the sane
tuary of Sunday evening, may leave
their hats at home, and the men may
engage in divine service with their
coats off.
Cromwell instructed his Ironsides to
put their reliance upon Providence, but
at the same time to keep their powder
dry. DR.. Cartright might cite it as a
precedent for urging the Importance of
devotional exercises, while. he removes
the provocations to that ungodliness
which a sizzling sun is liable to gene
rate. Supplications for Astounding
grace, with the padded shoulders of
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
Big Class to Try For
West Point Examination

Examination of candidates for ap-
pointment to the Military Academy at
West Point will be held tomorrow. Two
hundred and fifty have been designated
to try for appointment 1t is believed
the full number from every State in
the Union will appear before the ex-
aiming board.
There are few Congressional districts
not represented by this years appli-
cants, and the class will be one of, the
fullest that has ever gone through West
Point.
Those members of Congress who failed
to designate candidates for appointment
will have an additional place to fill In
1919. o..
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
What's on the Program, in
Washington Today.

The Times will be pleased to an
nounce meetings and entertainments N
this column
Meeting of Camp No ., Patriotic Order
OF Americans, Mariners Temple. Sew.
enth street, near n street southwest,
tonight.
Meeting of Camp No. 8. Patriotic Order
Sons of America, Conduit road, to-
night.
Meeting Of Independent Council. No. 2
Junior o. U. A. NJ, Seventh and l.
streets northwest, tonight
Meeting of Jefferson Council. No. u
Junior o. U. A. NJ. Twelfth and d
streets northeast, tonight.
Meeting of Washington Council, NO: Il
Junior o. U. A. NJ. $40 Twentieth
street northwest. ~
Meeting of Potomac Council, No. 20
Junior o. U. A. NJ, l075 Thirty-hrs'
street northwest, tonight.
Meeting of Jasper Council, NO: rs, Jun
Tor o. u. A. M, Fifth and G streets
northwest, tonight.
Meeting of Idaho Tribe, 1. o. r. M, No
l3, Twelfth and H streets northeast
Meeting of Osceola Tribe, No. 49, I. o
r. NJ. Masonic Hall. Tenleytown. TO-
Meeting of waneta Council. No. 6, De.
gree of Pocahontas. Fifth and G
streets northwest, tonight.
Amusements.
BeIasco-The Vagabonds in Lorna
Doone." $40 p. m.
Columbia Columbia Players an What
Happened to Jones'" 2:15 and 81;
Cosmos-Continuou vaudeville. l to Il
chevy Chase Lake-Dancing and mu-
sic nv section of Marine Band.
Glen Echo Park-Dancing ard music
nv section of Soldiers Home Band.
Lima Park-Midway attractions.
Arcade-Motion pictures. bowling, and
River yiew-Dancing and other amuse-
ments: boat leaves Seventh street
wharf 10 a. m, and p. IN.
Colonial Beach-Boardwalk, bathing
and other amusements; steamers leave
Seventh street wharf daily except
Monday, 8 a. m: Saturday, $50 D. m
Marshall Hall-Steamer Charles Macal-
ester leaves Seventh steet wharf II
a. M: $50 and 6:45 p. m. daily. Stops
made at Mt. Vernon.
steamer st. Johns leaves Seventh street
wharf for forty-mile trip on the Pc.
toElac, p. N,
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
PROTESTS AGAINST
NOISY STREET CARS

To the Editor Of THE TIMES:
I see the war is over. as regards
speeding on the railroads. peg 70
state that I live, or exist. rather. IN
street. where the cars pass my door,
and in the late hours OF night. exhaust
ed and trying to sleep, these cars come
down the hill from Iwenty,
eccident could not be avoided. and
some day there viii be a terrible one.
The Noise is frightful, and where I live
there is an invalid in the house. and
the suffering entailed upon thai poor,
nat,,rai noise of the cars there are one
or two on the road that make dread
S,,I Grating sound, as II the whole car
was being torn to pieces, thereby add
ing to the din. VIII The Times (the
neople's adyocate) try to help US In this
IA rticular trouble? DlSGUSTED.
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
ABLE AMBASSADORS
SENT TO GERMANY

To the Editor OF THE TINES:
In a dispatch from Kiel, published in
The Times, the German Emperor Is re-
ported to have expressed his regrets
that our American diplomatic policy
frequently placed men of little fitness
or experience at important embassies
Inasmuch as he embassy at Berlin Is
no doubt an important one, and one
with which he Is best acquainted, these
remarks are all the more peculiar In
view of the high character and ability
Of the American ambassadors that filled
that office during his reign. They were
Messrs. George H. Pendleton, William
Walter Phelps, Theodore Runyon, Ed
win F. Chl,, Andrew D. White, Charlie
magne Tower, and David ]. Hill. All
of these, with perhaps the exception OF
Mr.. Uhl, who seems to have been
selected by Mr.. Cleveland because OF
his knowledge of German, had made
their mark at home or abroad before
they were appointed, and certainly COM
pared favorably with the seven ambas-
sailors the Emperor sent over here.
Some of these he found 1t necessary to
recall after one years service.
c. F. K.
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
Burton Will Champion
Reciprocity for Taft

Senator Theodore Burton of Ohio viii
speak for the Administration on reel.
procity. Much has been head in the
Senate from opponents of reciprocity
by way of complaint that none of the
Republican Senators were ready tc
champion the agreement or elucidate
It, Senator Burton - a supporter OF
the agreement.
Senator Bristow of Kansas, one Of the
insurgent leaders, in an interview
makes IL plain the insurgents will in.
sist not merely on efforts to amend the
reciprocity agreement. but If these ef.
forts fail that they will then seek te
have passed separate bills for the re-
vision Of such schedules as cotton, wool
steel, sugar, rubber, metals, leather
and the like.
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
In the Mai Bag x

jeopardize our financial safety and ma
tional honor.
This is only a single glance at the
Aldrich currency plan, the most Elusive,
elaborate, Illegal. deceptive. and con-
plicated labyrinth Of financial usurpa-
lion of the functions Of the Treasury
as is possible to conceive. and plainly
unconstitutional in this republic.
II reason no longer reigns in Congress,
Aen look out for two overwhelming
breakers ahead!
II the Aldrich currency plan becomes
the law, under full operation, exposing
its financial heresies, any State, how
ever small, after changing Its sentiment
and its official representatives, can
bring this most important case before
the United States Supreme Court, which,
after full consideration, with the devel-
opment of additional illegalities, fore
shadowing the most dangerous results
would inevitably decide that an Aldrich
currency law Is clearly and fundament-
ally unconstitutional in the Republic
of the United States.
When this decision Is announced, de-
stroying the National Reserve Associa-
lamity far greater than In Andrew
Jackson's time for both the Govern
ment and the people would be so in
extricably and hopelessly involved and
lost. and we would face a national
panic.
This Is only one Of the overwhelming
breakers ahead.
There Is approaching the most stu
pendous war 0f ancient or modern
times. without realizing 1t. Snd while
attempting to prevent II bv sickly prot
estations for peace. all nations are pre-
pairing for the coming conflict. They
are spending billions to increase their
navies, showing that this gigantic war
will be world wide. involving the Unit.
ed States. Can II be In the realms OF
possibility that Congress will accept the
delusive and fatal Aldrich currency plan
and consent to the inconceivable, start
ling, and sudden change Of the nations
financial system, the most dangerous
experiment that is possible In the face
of a foreign war and a national panic
w. n. CONKLE.
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
Meyer Orders Safeguards
For Gasolene on Ships

Secretary Of the Navy Meyer has pro-
mulgated and published to ;he navy
service a detailed order. giving instruc-
tons for the handling Of sasolene on
the ships Of the United States navy.
The new instructions provide that no
sasolene is to be handled after sunset,
except in cases of emergency. 1t is to
be received only in five-gallon tins, or
the big fifty-gallon containers. NO gaso-
not equipped with gasolene launches.
No can shall be opened ABOARD ship.
II Is the belief Of Secretary Meyer
that these regulations are necessary for
the safety of vessels.
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
She still humming of her friend
Who would keep her to the end.


Human hopes and human creeds
Have their root in human. needs;
And l should not wish to strip
From that washerwoman's lip
Any song that she can sing,
Any hope that songs can bring;
For the woman has friend
Who will keep her to the end.
The Jackpot.
1 sauntered down through Europe,
wandered up the Nile.
I sought the mausoleums where the
mummied Pharaohs lay;
I found the sculptured tunnel
Where quietly in style
Imperial sarcophagi concealed the
royal clay.
Above the vault was graveL deep the
"Who openeth jackpot may not
always rake II down"
It's strange what deep Impressions
Are made by little things.
Within the granite tunneling saw
dingy cleft;
1t was a cryptic chamber.
l drew and got four kings.
But on a brief comparison I laid them
down and left.
Because upon the granite stood that
sentence bold and brown:
who openeth a jackpot may not
always rake 1t down"
/ make this observation:
A man with such hand
Has psychologist feelings that perhaps
he should not feel.
But I was somewhat ratified
And in a foreign land,
And had some dim suspicious, as I had
not watched the deal.
And there was that inscription, too, In
words that seemed to frown:
who openeth a jackpot may not
always rake 1t down"
These letters were not craven
In Anglo-Saxon tongue;
Perhaps II you had seen them you had
idly passed them by.
I studied erudition
When I was somewhat young;
recognized the language when II
struck my classic eye;
I saw a maxim suitable for monarch
or for clown:
The Washington times., 1911-07-04
~Oh LonquiYs' Verses Were Tuned to Heattbeats Of
The People, and wa Lve Through Long Generations
The Rhymes of Ironquill.

Fyeaiu
Go on best not o IS,
But my son-in-aw, who'd mill
a.
Thatsb sed me refus he nckcommends;
IuM she adandr u1lL
About Song in Rhymes Of IronquiH
found and ALL
there, against
Tread and all to myseG onti
T lamp andw with Rhymes Of 1ronqufl!
dropped up there nd-Durn-I never shet
r. sigh and
thennair Rhymes Of thaar ronqui
Read thau 'bouto old" hain sized
In postrophzed
Put in mind Of ouro ldc crit al
nd homesick! Rhymes OF Ironqun
thaun Withstand nkenin Life to fun
with sch Will
'mongst the Rhymes Of honquilH
who Freedoms Tailor hd
Rain his las tears
A 1ronouil!
Ands in head
He vent to said-
WARS kin spill
Life-blood-SOMEFIN Rhymes Of IonqufH
The Washington times., 1911-07-04

who openeth a jackpot may not
always rake 1t down"
Detesting metaphysics, +
l cannot help but put
A philosophic moral where / think II
ought to hang;
I've seen a boom" for office
Grow feeble at the root,
Then change into boomlet-then to
boomerang. -
In caucus or convention. in village or
town:
who openeth a jackpot may not
always rake 1t down.
The Child Of Fate.
am the child of fate.
What need II matter me
Where I shall buried be!
Death cometh soon or late,
Whether on land or sea;
What may 1t matter me!
OF what hope hangs upon
We can no insight get;
Blindly fate leads US on,
Storming LIES parapet.
That which our course impels,
Naught Of the future tells.
Whether upon the land.
Whether upon the strand,
What may II matter me
Where I shall buried be,
Dedtn cometn soon or late,
All are the sport Of fate.
What should 1t matter me,
Failing as others fell,
Shattered by shot or shell;
Either on land or sea,
Wrecked on the foaming bar,
Crushed in the shattered car.
Whether ~ Arctic cliffs,
Where tn ice-current drifts,
Where the bleak night-wind sobs,
Where the black-ice-tide throbS;
What though my bark may be
Sunk In some sullen sea!
illusion.
The prairie grasses whispered in my ear
From year to year,
Strange melodies whose burning verses
stole
Into my soul;
Strange songs which ever and anon
would come
And sing themselves to me and hum
and hum
Beyond control.