The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-16

ludb Ht WhS III tue WIOuS pidCc anu
that it behooved him to beat it to
the gallery. Now, everybody
knows that Williams is the big
gest lobster on earth, and when he
sat before that august body and
showed bis teeth all of the bunch
either stuck their heads in their
desks or took refuge under their
chairs. Now, it was the duty of
Champ Clark, the speaker, to or
der the gentleman to leave the
House, but the speaker was in
very embarrassing position. He
realized that he never would have
been made speaker of the House
of Representatives were it not for
his friend Williams. Things in
the House of Representatives were
too slow for this Louisiana lobster,
so he decided that he would make
a brief visit to the Senate. He
arrived just in time to see the
Senate open. For reasons best
known to himself, he did not APP
pear upon the floor of the Senate,
but went to that portion of the
gallery that is set aside for the
exclusive use Of the coons, and
strange to say that when he went.
there he felt perfectly at home.
While in this position, he spied at
the other end of the gallery his
friend, Senator Thornton, of Lou
isiana, and decided that he would
go and pay his respects. Now,
Senator Thornton was in that part
of the gallery which is very ex-
elusive aud the gentlemaa at the
door refused admission. Williams
would not be outdone by the ordi-
nary mortal who guarded the door
and argued with the fellow so bois-
terously that Senator Thorton
came out himself for the purpose
of discovering what it all was
about.
The people of Louisiana may
not believe it, but Thornton was
actually glad to see Williams, and
as it was the hour of lunch and
both being excessively hungry, the
Senator took Williams by the neck
and yanked him in the Senate din
ing-room. The Senator had pro-
missed Williams that if he behaved
himself like a gentleman, which
was an extraordinary request, he
would introduce him to several of
the Senators and to the President
of the United States. Williams
composed himself and acted like
perfect gentleman, but it was
great effort and the first time he
had in the sixtyyears of bis career.
Williams had lead all of last
years magazines, and being slight
ly clever, and having very good
memory, recognized most of the
prominent Senators and convinced
each of them that he knew them
from his earliest youth. They all
fell for the bluff. Williams even
convinced Senator Root that he
went to the Columbia Law Schools
with him and that he associated
with him in several cases.
Senator Thornton introduced
Williams to the Vice President of
the United States. Now the Vice
President is a simple aud very low
able man, who chartered freely
with Williams and even invited
him to act as President pro tenn of
the Senate on the following day,
as he, himself, intended to do some
shopping on Pennsylvania Avenue.
Had Williams been the Governor
of Louisiana, instead of an ordi-
nary lobster from the swamps of
Northern Louisiana, be could not
have been more grsciously received
nor could he have been more la
vishly attended then he was by
Senator Thornton.
The rest of that afternoon was
very quickly passed and very pro-
fitably passed, as you may judge
from Williams frequentation of
booze bazaars and free lunch en-
poriums. Some one had told
Williams that the city of Wash
ington was noted for it's free 1un-
ches and that it contained hot
Weiner- Wursts in abundance, and
whenever Williams passed by a.
thirst parlor, he would put his ear
to the door and if he heard the
sausages bark, he knew that he
was at the proper place.
Words fail to describe the amout
of damage caused by Williams
during his two-days stay in the
Capitol City. The Congress hur-