davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-07-26

Mrs. wllisun. which Is a nayber'
calm ovir to our house last mite and
ma showed her her new hat, wich is SC
big ma Good use 1t for a bote II she
eyir fell ovirbord. I CESS
Izent it luvly, sed ma to MIS- VIII
sun. ony payed dollirs for 1t, TO-
and the gerl sed the regler price was
Is.
Yes, sed Mrs. Willsun, its prttty
hat. I saw sum like 1t uptown the
othir day for dollirs.
Wat 1t headed
Awl 1t neads, sed ma Is a touch OF
sumthing brtte erround the brtm-
looked awI ovir the sity for sumthing
sootible yestidday. she sed. but /
coodent find Jest wat 1 wanted.
Aftir a vile pop CAIN hoam. and sed
to ma, Do you see enything unuzuil
about me, mothlr.
Yes, sed ma, that neck tye. Cream
and yello Cream and yello.
Don't you like it. sed pop. Don't
hesertate to say so If you don't, he sed,
you kant hert my feelings
I dident say 1 dident like 1t, sed
ma, I Jest sed. grean and yello. Wich
she did.
Well I injured frum the tone you
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
ACCORDING TO SAMMY

sed 1t in, sed pop. that the tye dfdent
SCOT you. This tye kost dollirs he
sed. at a speshul sail, and It's, awl silk
and was mitey lucky to get 1t, he
sed.
Lets tawk about sumthing else. sed
ma.
Lets do nuthlng of the sawt, sed
pop, II you don't like this tye. I want
to no It. I don't like MYSTERY. and
yure ackting as II / was bloc beerd
or sumthing and wood chop yure he'd
awf If you sed enything dident like.
Orfull
Well, sed ma, II you must no, grean
and yello is an orfun combeenashun
and you don't look distinguished In
1t like you do in sum of yure othir
tyes.
That's awl want to no, sed pop,
and 1 rathir think yure rite. Now.
am I so terribIl to tell things to.
he sed.
No, farthir. sed ma, I think yurs
very reeznibil.
I don't think Ill ware this tye aftir
today, sed pop, and you can give =
to sum dizurving man e.
Jest as you wish. sed ma, and this
moarning she took 1t and sewed H
erround her moo hat
The Washington times., 1911-07-26

Of admirers and said, MY dance, be-
heve."
II was true Twas his dance. She
had promised 1t to him, although she
detested him. because he persisted In
chewing gum in time to the music.
Much rather would she have danced
with Captain Spondoozer. But she was
too tender-hearted tn wound his feel
ings by a refusal. II
Let US go on the balcony hrst." she
suggested. -
On the balcony with HER! He
jumped at the chance. She was too
tender-hearted to refuse him the dance,
but she had a scheme. .--. ---.
They strolled to the balcony. Millions
Of miles overhead were stars, hun
dreds Of feet below were the waters Of
the bay.
Look down." she said, and when he
looked down. she gently but firmly
pushed him over. Family the sweet
splash came to her ears.
She returned to look for Captain Spon-
doozer.
The Washington times., 1911-07-26

their home Franks interest
need qt f,bR little Me- hRsal'Ry F,a6 @uiasion 25 60, s 1
another shelf pantry svenf got tm FlsnE donsnt R
got go down to meeting the @ tennis club bousHg
For Do Mrs x Ns~Gn @ pet M suggestion on Frank the lawn moving
ass Of replies all PIging from the atEophied condition of
think don't enough week that need
send for on f this ofttSr @
py and % Rs do % n '6 for
Mrs Newton to appeal to his Of But Frank $500
sDs just think how much we'd save But
The Neighbohood Council
By Of up & lot Of bad bj6s S nd wife & S
who Just things around the house like other
S the T P % s6d of M s
hood Jack all trades the Newton place presented mpeeabe
attention. the M ndf sza the M ] wH i the G 9 % Rssdsd @ the he
By Of parting bays s those
her rich cousin spend the day after back and
NT' @ 9s % ry % H. and Ss % cousin by se5sa5
always say takes ~onderfu husband to tep ee looking like
sPd af But 5sS s
the when got Then for the 500
T who o % lily did @ the JOB He e0d Gdd oo 1 ewtGn VITO took
hseand then he got out the lawn and work It
adjusted themselves uneven joltns Of task he
It While ant d ?a: sb y~9S oI But
trim neat and watch for the ower beds as he went along
nome @ n & h P p sno6nes in @ ws P e%n na about % 1c and
We-Earne Ease
THAT night when he the front porch and nursed his
bsered hands, smoking his of weeaned the of
lawn front of him. clean and gstenng the moonlight from
drenchng something
Deeper far than the soothing
task we'll DONE permeatng the Utmost
of his being the of
toilng with things that his
Sunday Frank surrepitous the
back porch Sunday he boldly nailed stronger tre for the
He barely finished painting the lattice under
the back porch in time to dress and meet his wife
My but Pm glad be back said his Wife doesn't everything
1t good said Frank And somehow
place really looked good him before Never
had it seemed quite much home.
will work wel said the Little Old Lady when she
had DONE eff haven't lawn know two three places
ow to-"
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
SHE HOLDS IT UP TO THE
GIRL WHO SHOVES

says: II wish you would stop pushing
me-"
In her frenzy at the mistreatment oi
her shoulder and the injustice to he1
manners. she cries, It's not my fault
It's somebody just behind meT' She
sees the scornful look that scathes her
as the reproachful one renders a men,
tai verdict of her guilt and is obviously
disgusted at her cowardice in not own
ing up to her showing.
oh! If we only could dispense with
our manners now and then, when they
are in the way? Wouldn't it be a rich
and rare recompense to be able to turn
on the shower and thump and bump
and batter and beat herl
And. along with your straight-ahead
pushing, you have the most exasperat-
ing habit OF side-stepping and pushing
the one who walks with you into the
gutter. 1t does no good to change over.
Your anatomy works to both sides.
It's a Habit
OF course, it's a habit. But it's the
kind that stirs an impatient rage in
the sufferer that makes her want to
jump on you physically and linguisti-
cally.
Just watch out! Some day you'll be
hanging on the arm of a MAN. He
may think you have cute, cozy, cud-
ding little way when you begin it; but
by the time you have inserted your
elbow between his ribs and bruised his
intercostal muscles, besides steering
him into the trees along the walk and
making him tread the narrow ledge by
the curbstone, he will think you and
your showing as absolutely provoking
and unnecessary as the rest OF US do.
You will have SHOWED HIM QUITE
AWAY
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
To Be Smothered
In Cracked Ice
MEANT THE SHELLS

The old man had ordered little neck
CLANS. The waiter served them on the
half-shell. The clans were stringy and
about the size Of a quarter, while the
shells were enormously large In pro-
portion. What be these?" drawled the
old man, as he critically surveyed his
order.
Little neck CLAIMS, sah." grinned the
waiter, handing over the bottle Of vine
gar.
Little neck CLANS, chr Wei. all !
have to say Is their collars are too big
for them"
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
Went The Rounds

Parker-See here, Harker, have just
heard that you repeated what told you
| in confidence the other day.
| Harker-Who said I did?
Parker-Barlow.
Harker-That's Just like Barlow. He
always blabs everything he hears!.
The Washington times., 1911-07-26

He had so many green stick fractures
thRt he kept the doctors busy. and the
boys called him ''Greeny'' for short; so
he had his mother paint him a nice YER
million and his friends changed the
sobriQuet to "Pinky."
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
We're Not Meals

How are the meals here?" asked the
new boarder, as he sat in the parlor
waiting for the gong to get busy.
'Mealsi" echoed the old boarder.
Say, all we get Is q sort Of quick lunch
three times a day."
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
For Services Rendered

"Thompson's COW got into my gar
den and ate all the grass Off the
lawn"
What did he do?"
Sent me a bill for using his COW
as q lawnmower."
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
Ripples From a 10
Brook of Wit
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY

ENGLISH JUNE FON IODH1
In one particular section Of the seats
at the horse show on Tuesday after
noon there were not more than twenty
men dotted against a perfect sea of
ladies' dressed in white. And the pres
ent writer was accompanied by man
from Milwaukee, who summarized the
situation in:
Gee! Looks like. a handful o. black
berries foat'n' in q pan O. milk"-The
Pink I'm.
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
Hereditary

Sflas-There goes Old Man Hard
apple with a hundred patches on ms
trousers. I swan, sucn TROUSERS arc
q sin.' ...
Cvrus-H'm! Must be some of those
sins that are handed down from father
to son.
The Washington times., 1911-07-26

They're payin golf"
thing about golf the there's thing called bas
mentioned
it's o the players uniform and then again think it's Scotch
for lunch box Here's chance to find out Bill and
if read the ntegent it'll do good to get
acquainted with it, Let's Off"
Mamie and Bill Get Of
So got off, Belle back watch Most of EN-
be fat 1t didn't make much drence where
ball they win walk hah mile
after it and chasise again Men walkn all directions
all their might with clubs and nobody
was watchin anybody would "a been the thing
the players inch the ball little with
his foot before he hit it.
How they tell when they win Bil?" says
think a O. lon balls Bill "Ony certain
balls allowed each and whoever keep his
out the water the longest the medal"
Bill" T haven't found out what brasse is yet Go
and ask the fat and while you're there Bill says
mi ask i'm 10 point a too"
NO says Bill IT display ignorance but know
and in the glass;
So took the home.
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
At the Naval Ball;
Or, Over the Edge

1t was at the naval ball
Midshipman Lollypop, striding up TO
her, elbowed his way through the crowd
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
Could Fight

Are you anywhere near the head OF
your class In schoolT'
Nope, not very near. but can lick
the kid that is at the head Of it."
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
Make a Difference

She-Yes, like Ted; he is SO ex-
travagant.
He-That is hardly the best quality
for q husband, is 1t? 80
She-Of course not. I am not going
to marry him. -r
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
Persistent Propulsion

Why, you even shove when you go
into church! The cher day at a we'd
ding you began you- persistent pro-
pulsion on an elderly person with a
real lace cape.
IT don't mind, having my vertebra
dislocated, but this cape Is an heirloom,
and won't stand ,an attack from the
rear" she said to you
And again you wore your look Of out
ragged innocence. 1t would be a bless
ing II you could get behind yourself
and shove, Just to cultivate a fellow
feeling for the drastic massage treat
ment you give your victims.
1t may be your energy 1t may be
your nerves. You may offer any kind
of an excuse for the maddening impo-
sition Of your showing shoulder on the
anatomy of the one in front But none
of them GO. The person who endures
your continuous impact feels a wild
longing to rwhirl about and deliver you
variegated lot of sample styles of
prodding. The exquisite Joy of return
ing your evenly applied and forward
urging assault with a series of slaps
and bangs and whacks makes her
hands itch.
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
Change of Tone

What carrot-headed little urchin is
that, madam"
why, he is my youngest son"
You don't say so? What a dear. little,
sweet, dove-eyed cherub!"
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
Adventures
--IN--
Married Life
The Simple Life
And the
NeWtonS

HE lack of interest" said the Little Old Lady, that
lots of husbands have in the affairs of the home
comes more from habit than from a genuine dis
inclination for that sort of thing"
The Little Old Lady was looking reminiscenty
shirt sleeves was making the Newtons W yard "a
thing of beauty for the neighborhood eye.
Il think" said the Little Old Lady, that
Frank Newton's habit started in the early days of
their married life when boarding house offered
opportunity for him to exercise mans natural
instinct for puttering around his place Any
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
NJ a m ie
IT ELL
B eli e
Golf Seems
To Be a Pleasant
Pastime

SPITE O the march o civilization and all that sort
O. thing, Belle, there's form o punishment stif
bein inflicted that ought to "a been abolished along
with the whippin' post and balloon sleeves for
women. It's golf.
Bill and l was takin a nice open trolley ride
Sa'day afternoon, enioyin' the suburban breezes
our cheeks and the superPlous passengers on our
toes when passed whole county o grass and
hills and little brooks and things.
Look at those men threshin' around, Bill l
says. That's funny way to cut grass, amt itF'
They don't mean to cut the grass" says Bill
That's an accident and counts against 'eul-
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
Loretta's Looking Glass

She is just losing herself in the de-
lights of isticuffing imagination when
the woman in front turns around and
The Washington times., 1911-07-26
Drawn for The Washington Times.

SSyITILL you kindly use your shoul-
w der for the purpose for which
II was intended?"
You stared at the lady who made the
request with your most insulted, how
dare-you expression.
But there is nothing the individual
in front of you in the line to the box
office would not dare. You have placed
your shoulder against and rather under
hers and have steadily rammed her
along till she is beyond caring what
else happens, just so you take your
shoulder out of her back.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-03

,7rr. wash. July Bible stu
al and the public i'll great
'e" ,.rs heard Pastor Russell here
nunio0' ,y.o report one of his dis
To-Day. an the 1.-TWO Bahylons =
cours the other mystical. lie
iersl ,,Sic s text, but relied wholly
|no spe.ns,imonv. quoting the same
Bible Ie said in part;
ssiV. L. Riblc students have OBJ
4 tntu' Many of the strong express
D that mid Md Testament respecting
~ tne ,hoir parallels in the New
d icuhu sod I'm respect 10 mystic
rsnl, to,v of these statements OF
.e- n,ont n seem far too vivid and
Tes'ne ne applied 90 literal Baby
|1ng " n,as surmlsed that mystic
Hencs more particularly referred
Do was neal Ii was noticed also
q tne and Judah went into cap
y literal Babylon. so aplarenIIy
-u,k OF Revelation teaepes tnae
50 8 israel would nave drastic eN-
in captivity 10 nys,ic OF
= aRahylon the Great, the Mother
&C. IRcvelation xvii, %.
g the past fifty years under ihe
4. influence OF 'ii' SN'iutio'i
The destructive higher criti-
sr ,ho Bible. these parallels have
9 W. S,rht OF. Indeed, aside from
..,.nsi .S, Sunday school lessons. Bible
'.l'o'ls w. ssen largely neglected, even In
sas scminarics. And the sun
,so, lessons. under the guidance
~ wisdom. have sought TO avoid
|'1n sxcept the milk Of the
s9i '9Ie simple doctrines) 10 avoid
sarr recently is true Bible study
.ssIy,d in conjunction with the
,oraI Rlblc students association.
y ~ which ] have the honor TO
,olay We may well congratu-
~ other. dear friends, that in
proridencc we have escaped the
l,s,nyine influence OF higher criIi-
"A eyoluilon. We may well con-
"a. onrsclyes also on tho degree
"a, We have attained in the study
~ Word-frcedom from the con-
:. s-ssds manufactured for US in
srr--frrcdom from some Of the
srsers ,ltions and false theories
~ time. fctGered our reason
"a, the divine plan 10 appear ig-
srvorthy ot a juSt and loving
-orh more OF an all-wisc. Just and
p.<a,or
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-03
Insurance Notes.

Beginning with July l, the New York
| Life will accept no brokerage business
and will also limit term insurance 10
$40, 600.
The Knights of Pythias hall at Needles.
| CAL was seriously damaged by fire on
It's paraDbernalia.
The local Fire Underwriters association
will hold no further meetings during the
summer months.
Much interest is being manifested In
| the forthcoming meeting OF the state life
underwriters The meeting takes place
ON Tuesday, July IL, at which time dele
gates and alIernates TO the national con
vention at Chicago next October will be
| named.
John A. Carlson special agent OF the
Continental Fire Insurance company oil
New York, with headquarters in Denver,
was In Salt Lake last week.
Pacific coast manager of the Fidelity &,
Deposit Surety company, Is Salt Lake
visitor.
Roscoe Gurnsey, state manager for the
Germania Life In Wyoming. has resigned
and hereafter Will devote his time To the
real estate business.
Assistant Manager Frank F.. Stone and
Special Agent e. ;. liill OF the McNeai
e. Wayman agency OF San Francisco. were
Salt Lake visitors during the past week.
The local surety underwriters. repre-
senting all the local and foreign bonding
companies doing business in the state,
met last Friday evening and after the
transa actlon Of certain routine business ad
iourned for one week. Thomas w Sloan
is president and c. w. Johnson secretary
Under the new law In the state Of
Washington the Insurance commissioners.
or his deputy. may inspect any policy
and the holder who refuses Ia produce
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-03
Great Babylon of Old

IA, We remind YOU that ancient
~ was huilt on the river Eu-
= that she had imprcgnablc walls:
IS. rlycr ran through the midst OF
n. and the great gates OF brass
q the river as q protection against
a n nm enemy from that quarter
'-sr, OF the city was attached TO Il
. rvs OF country outside or II, for
4 n served as the capital. indeed.
4 zenith Babylon was mistress OF
F. civilized world-the first uni
Il rupire
Nnlod YOU of.the captivity. first
= len tribes OF Israel and later on
4 remaining two tribes or Kingdom
4 Judah. The method OF Babylon
n scatter tho Israelites among the
't.sns. and through their earthly
b TO malgamate them as part aud
y Of Bs0yloris. This condition OF
b hs,cd until the fall Of Babylon be-
Is oonQueror. Cyrus.
gore: gained his victory in a
'inhc manner. while the Baby
|s assured of their security. were
Ia al q banquet. Although the
! sans suddenly. the preparation had
. hng In progress. The soldiers Of
y under his direction. had dug a
i q considerable depth ready To
81 The water OF tho river as soon
h n~cessery connection was made,
] he canal was i'm readiness the con-
= Ellh the river was speedily made
&, ssler flowed rapidly into the new
c5 leaving tho bed Of the river un-
NJ great brazen gates. on both SIDES
y city. aD open roadway. through
: rsrched the army OF CYRUS. sud
u an unexpected moment. the
~ city, the proud Babylon. was
~.
- II WAS that Cyrus. tho victorious
|nl gave the command which grant
P..y 10 every Israelitc carried cap
r'ner. TO return 10 his own land.
.1oally. assistance WIS rendered 10
ep tssired Ia return. and the golden
n I+rtalning TO the worship of God
tnpls gere sent back. But strange
u cgi Of all the millions vino had
k.fd Israel and Judah before cap
eny about $4,000 OF all the tribes
r1'ous to avail themselves of the
~ Of returning 10 the land OF
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-03
Investigation a Reminder,

The investigation OF the sugar trpsd ,1,Ipd :
by a congressional committee ,he hen5i,pf first
Sn,y mnyes saae of the American Sugar Refining
yrs "erowd." after getting control OF 1o tn the
Utah and Idaho compSniesi irom %aS the 20 salt
gin ate 10 local pu,ii agents. Heber J. Grant &
Company OF Salt Lake controlled iederssts tms in
Grant re eo,,at nm9 stll are heavily Lnierested
in 'u, sugar. the Home Fire mnei oeIVG W6,le
heavy holder OF sugaT gar Sold portlon Of
r@"i tbs insurance, the trust influence mas
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-03
the policy Is liable to fine Of sloc.

The supreme court Of Virginia. N g.,
has ruled that a life insurance company
Is liable for fraudulent representations OF
its agent as to the provision Of n policy
made TO an applicant 10 induce acceptance
OF the policy.
Thomas +. Daily OF Denver. general
agent for the London Guarantee e. Ac-
cident company. was in Salt Lake tho
whole of last week. While here Mr.. DAILY
transferred the state agency OF the com
pany from the Agency company or tins
city to the j. b. Moreton company. Bos-
ton building, this city.
L. u. Ilskey, manager of the fire in.
surancc department OF the Anderson In.
surapcc agency returned from A two
weeks visit 10 Idaho on Tuesday last
Since his return Mr.. Hiskey has been
talking nothing but life business to the
general public, but just the same TO a few
OF his intimate friends he has been relat
ing number of very interesting fish
stories
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-03
Doubles Its Capitalization,

The directors OF the Preferred Acct
dent company OF New York have in
creased the capital stock from $3.50. 900
to 500 600. The last increase of this
company was made In 1906 when II was
raised from $500 000 10 $3.50. .00o. The Pre-
ferred is one OF the conservative acci-
dent companies OF America and has n
sets have Just about doubled In ten years.
being from Il little less than one million
In 1901 to more than two million in
1910. The surplus has also doubled.
Frank A. Timby Of this city is the COM
pany's general western agent.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-03

n s.. oood runs YOU aown-mak.s
g Blood 'I,im nim for organic diseases.
he Gu, oit'ers purlfies the blood
aks n, ,a'se-buslds you up.
"a annnnent cured me OF eczema
aas pe1eyd pe1Uyed me long time. The
J conmiaa,tent. Hon. s. w. Mat
e Ns"Soioncr Labor Statistics,
Y moysme .me bowels. promotes easy
hegulcts cures constipation
4c a hn. ASK your druggist for
II You 70" suffer fve minutes with
ftacs. IIppIy DR.. Thomas Eclectic
I" acts like magic.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-03
Right in your busiest season when

Right in your busiest season when
you have the least time to spare you
are most likely to take diarrhoea and
lose several days time. unless you have
hamberlain Is Collie, Cholera and Diar-
rhoea Remedy at hand and take dose
OH the first appearance of the disease.
For sale by all dealers.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-03
dividends of Life COMPANIES

The current Issue OF Best's Life In
surance News contains compilation Of
the capital and surplus paid in by. and
dividends paid to stockholders OF life In
sIrance companies organized during the
past five years. The total capital paid
In for the account OF the new companies
during that period was s21.GI7.921 while
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-03

tho surplus contributed was s1l.fi3,4l5.
These sums do not provide for the large
amounts paid by stockholders 10 defray
organization expenses. During the period
the same companies paid stockholders
dividends amounting 10 S22033i or the
Il6 new companies listed. only twenty
seven have paid dividends 10 their
stockholders