davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1911-02-15
Card of Thanks.

1 wish to extend my heartiest thanks
for the kindness shown by our many
friends during The burial of my bus.
band, to the End Reg't Band, to the
quartette, the fire department and 60
pecially to Captain Steinhauser for
his words of comfort.
MRS. WV. ]. aERRIAN.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1911-02-15

VIM. Frank, banker in SpringHe
vac in New Ulm last Monday on busi-
ness.
Soren Sorenson and another friend OF
Lafayette drove over to New Ulm Mon.
day.
A. j. Ochs attended tho funeral of
Mr.. Gebhardt of Lamberton Monday
afternoon.
Oiling and repairing harness neatly
and promptly done. Oiling only Sl.O00
. set. Spring IL near. A. Henle & Son.
Mrs. Dongus has acquired the Laud-
enschlager building and will remove her
dry goods and notion stock into the new
quarters.
VIM. johnson, musician, 18th Infan-
try, Fort Smelling. is out on three
months furlough and 10 now visiting
with his brother Theo. johnson 10 this
city. M. h
General F. w. johnson Of this city 10
scheduled to respond to the toast Seen
erals Have Known" at the business
mems banquet to be held at st. Peter
next Tuesday.
The basket social held by the young
ladies of the Catholic church lsst Sun
day evening was fairly vol attended.
Several of the young ladies delivered
recitatlons and declarations on Lin.
celn.
Adolph Meile, wife and children
went to Winona to attend the funeral
of Mrs. Meile's mother, Mrs. Rev. J.
J.. Hilmer, who died very suddenly
last Saturday. The funeral will be
held to-day. (Wed)
It IL with extraordinary pleasure
that We chronicle the fact that one Of.
New Ulm's Oldest residents, Mrs.
Gebser, was permitted last Tuesday to
observe her Goth birthday in appar-
ent good health and spirits.
Sup't Hess will attend the Southern
MINI. Teachers association meeting
at Msnkato next Thursday, Friday
and Saturday. He is one of the speak.
ers and will speak on ''Scope of Work
in Physics and Chemistry"
Relatives in this city received the sad
news Monday of the death of Charles
Roebecke of Thief River Falls. De-
CO ,sed died Monday morning at the st.
Joseph Hospital at st. Paul of cancer of
the stomach. Mr.. Roebecke is the
nephew of Mrs. Chss. Stuebe and Mrs.
Carl Crone and brother-in-law of Fred.
Meyer.
Monday, q report was circulated In
New Ulm to to the effect that Jerome
Yates of Sleepy Eye had died. Inter-
viewing relatives IN this city We learn
that there was no truth in the rumor
and that Mr.. Yates who will celebrate
his .hundreth birthday next May Is
Every much alive We hope TO be
able to give the old gentleman write
rp. on the occasion of his birthday
next may. ., @ 4
Miss Mary Louise i Bronson, The
soprano soloist with the Minneapolis
Symphony orchestra, 10 . Minnssots
girl who hss won great renown. not
only ct home but abroad. Recently
she returned from several years of
diligent study with the great masters
in Florence and Milan. and prior TO
going abroad she studied with the son
of the great basso, Myron Whitney of
Boston, who Was 30 impressed with
the possibilities that lay before the
young singer that he urged her to 60
abroad to study with the Italian
masters. Shortly before leaving
Europe Miss Bronson was offered an
engagement at the Grand Opera at
Berlin, but declined, preferring to
spend the present year in America.
She has accepted only a few engage
ments with the Minneapolis orchestra
and next year will return to take her
place among the operate stars of the
Old World.
SCHOOL
NANOTEG
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09
CHIMNEY TWO MILES HIGH
How Copper SmeIter in Wales
Disposed Of Injurious
smoke.

Wales has probably the longest CHM
ney in the world. II is two miles high.
and has a brook running through It. The
chimney is connected with the copper
works at Cwmavon. near Aberavon. This
is how II came to be built. About sixty
years ago the copper smoke from these
works was the plague of the neighbor-
ing countryside 1t settled upon and de-
stroyed the grass for twenty miles round.
while the sulphur and arsenic in the
fumes affected the hoofs OF cattle, caus-
ing gangrene. The company tried all
sorts of devices to remedy the trouble
but I'm vain,
Finally Robert Brenton, who was later
engineer of the Sind railway in India
solved the problem. The copper works
are at the foot of n high, steep noun
tain. Mr.. Brenton constructed a flue or
chimney running continuously from the
base to about 100 feet above the summit,
following the natural slope OF the ground.
The brick which lined It. and OF which
it was largely constructed. was burned
close by. A small spring, rushing out
near the mountain top, was turned into
the chimney, and allowed to flow through
almost its entire length to condense the
smoke. Once year It is swept out, and
about a ton OF ptecipitated copper OBJ
tanned. Its top can be seen for between
forty and fifty miles.-London Mail.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09

! through It's conferences, this organisa-
ton has done notable service. But will
this movepent prove less fltful than that
OF twenty years ago?
II was the late Goodwin Smith who
said bitterly:
You might as well expect tigers to
clean the jungle OF their hiding places as
to expect law reform from lawyers"
Is II possible TO conceive OF anything
more fantastic than that the issue OF
justice should depend very largely upon
the wit and skill and. It may often be
added, the utter unscrupulousness of the
defending attorney!
l believe that there can be no reform
worth the powder until the whole uues-
ton OF crime and punishment is taken
from the hands OF prosecuting ATTORNEYS
Of defending lawyers. OF juries. Judges
and courts OF appeal and put into the
hands OF men trained TO utterly different
ethics and ideas-that is. sociologists
criminologists and physicians.
No man commits crime because he
wants TO. There Is no man. whether he
be the most hardened criminal or the
most brazen grabber of franchises. who
does not dread the sting OF being branded
as felon. The vast majority of Grim
inals. OF course, are simply mental,
moral and physical detectives. which a
more intelligent social organization Of
the future will largely eliminate
For the present they probably cost the
healthy, decent people of the United
States SjOO,OOOOO0 a year or more
that is, every family OF the nation
pays tribute OF $25 per year or more
to crime land needlessly). This Grim
inal class is growing in numbers and in
expense yearly, and this largely because
in spite of this tremendous outlay, the
administration OF criminal justice in
America has become a travesty and
farce.
There is probably not a tribe OF saw
ages anywhere on earth where there is
not more even handed justice and bet
ter enforcement of the tribal law than in
the United states.-Carl Snyder in Col
Hers Weekly.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09
FATE MADE HIM A JESTER
Joe Miller was n Crouch and Never
Cracked n Joke fB His
Life.

The man whose name Is now the repre-
sentative of the very idea of joking, Joe
Miller is said never to have uttered a
Joke. This reputed hero of all Jokes, I'm
reality an eminent comic actor of the
earlier part Of the eighteenth century,
was born in the year 1854; he was no
doubt of obscure origin, for even the
place Of his birth appears TO be unknown.
In the year Ills his name occurs for the
first time on the bills of Drury Lane
theater as performing the part of Young
Clinche, in Farquhar's comedy of "The
Constant Couple; or a Trip to the Jubilee"
For rather a long period Joe Miller
acted as a member of the Drury Lane
company and, in the vacation intervals.
first associated with Pinkethman and
subsequently established as an independ-
ent booth theater manager himself. Joe
appears also to have been a favorite
among the members of his profession.
and II has been handed down through
tradition and anecdote that he was a
regular attendant at the tavern known
as the BLACK Jack" i'm Portsmouth
street, Glare Market then a favorite re-
sort of the performers at Drury Lane
and Lincoln's Inn Fields theaters and of
the wits who came to enjoy their society.
1t Is said that at these meetings Miller
was remarkable for the gravity of his
demeanor and that he was so completely
innocent Of anything like joking that his
companions, as a JEST ascribed every
new Jest that was made 10 him. Joe
Miller's last benefit night was April 10.
l7aS He died on August u Of the same
year.
Among the society in which he usually !
mixed was dramatic writer named John
Motley, the son of Jacobite officer. |
This man was reduced to the position of |
living on the town by his wits and in |
doing this he depended in great measure |
on his pen. Among the popular publica-
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09

wait until YOU are a little older before
send you the gun"
And the little fellow threw his arms
around my neck and said, Dear Santa
Claus, ] will do Just what you tell me and
] viii be good"
Then said I. you must do as your
papa and mamma tell you: and II YOU do
that tlien Santa Claus will know YOU are
a good COY"
And later. when his father acoompanIed
me into tho smoking apartment. he said
We'll, Captain Jack. YOU have bank.
rupted me and that boy must have every
thing you promised him"
And I said, why not? Would vou
have him lose confidence IN Santa claus
for 60 or siO?"
No" said he' mot for 1000. Have
cigar"
NO. thank you I said Il cut thar
out seven years ago. You see that
have had wonderful experience with
boys who smoked cigarettes and | have
had to put a good many Of them behind
prison bars and when I talked TO news
boys and thousands OF boys in the re-
formatories. l have folt that could moi
do II consciously and smoke and while
talking to a bunch OF boys one day. l
agreed TO quit smoking cigars or a pfpe
II l could get half dozen OF them TO
promise to never smoke any more cigar
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09

tons OF that time was : .lGd easy OF
compilation, consisting Substantially of
the same jests. ever newly vamped up,
with few additions and varieties. 1t
was common trick TO place on the title
OF one OF these brochures the name OK
some person OF recent celebrity. in order
TO give it the appearance OF novelty.
Thus, there appeared in the sixteenth
century "Scogan's Jests'' and Skeletons
Jests;" in the seventeenth. 'aTariton's
Jests,' "HObson's Jests," "Peele's tests"
Hugh Peters Jests'' and a multitude Of
others, and in the century following pre-
vious to the death of Joe Miller. I'm 17ss
'Pinkethman's Jests," Polly Peach1In's
Jests" and Ben Jonson's TESTS" 1t speaks
strongly for the celebrity of Joe Miller
that he had hardly lain a year in his
grave when his name was thought suf.
fcienty popular to grace the title OF a
Jest book; and It was Motley who, no
doubt pressed by necessity, undertook
to compile new collection which was to
appear under II. The title of this vol
ume which was published in 1880, and
sold for 1 shilling was Joe Millers
Jests: Or the wits Vade-mecum." 1t
was stated in the title to have been
first carefully collected in the company,
and many of them transcribed from the
mo nth OF the facetious gentleman whose
name they bear; and now set forth and
published by his lamentable friend and
former companion. Elijah Jenkins, Esq"
This was, of course, a fictitious name,
under which MOTLEY chose to conceal his
own. 1t must not be concealed that there
is considerable originality in Mottley's
1t is not a mere repub-
LEGATION. under a different name, of what
had been published a score of times be- |
fore; in fact, it is evidently a selection !
from the jokes which were then current |
about town. and some of them appar- |
entity new ones. This was perhaps the |
reason of its sudden and great popu-
larity. A second and third edition APP
peared in the same year, and It was not |
only frequently reprinted during the
.ame century. but. number OF spurious
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09

cites, and one little red-headed. freckle-
faced kid. with patches on his pants.
and barefooted, jumped up and said Gee
Pard. I'll go you for a starter Then
seven boys there and then gave me their
promises. took two cigars out OF my
pocket rolled them In my hand In dust
ana threw them on the floor. That's
seven years ago and I have never taken
a puu Since. l have the same desire to-
day that | had when / swore off but I
have got the nerve to let II alone, and I
am richer by about fifteen pounds and
my voice is 50 per cent better than when
smoked to excess, and had a bad case
of tobacco heart"
Now, my dear Iitchcock. Won Arc re-
sponslble for this letter and this story
for In the papers the other day. read
an editorial about what my friend. the
postmaster general, said regarding let =
ters from the children to Santa Claus and
as | remember reading IA story about HOW,
President Lincoln, when a young man
acted as substitute for Santa Claus and
distributed the presents among about
nfty children In the rural district and
one man named Hutchinson stun nre-
serves the first pair OF red top boots he
ever wore and which were handed "a
him when boy from the Christmas tree
by young Abe Lincoln, SO 1 have been a
substitute for Santa Claus when | had IN
wear a white wig. but / don't need the
white wig now, and | love to have tho
dear children call me Dear Old SANTA
Claus''--it Is the sweetest name OF All
names except Christ. and that suggests
a thought-I Will try and write verse
or two as a substitute for Santa c,ls,s.
I've been reading In the papers that they
=, tried to knock mo out,
Tried TO stop the children's idol on his
toying Christmas scout,
ana they tried 10 send my letters IN
the morgue, and just because
Ot the selfish pessimistics that's afraid
OK santa Claus. us,
But the Savior comes on Christmas and
lie helps me pack my load;
lie X with me In the palace ana tha
humbleat abode ID,
with His Suffer Little Children" chill
dren love Him more because
lie knows the childreu's wishes and
lie tells old Santa Claus
So l want 10 say God Bless You." and
the children bless you too
ana some day you may be president
through love they have for you,
ana remember young Abe Lincoln was
substitute for me
When they hung old pessimiser on q
sour apple tree.
with love and blessings from your old
friend. SANTA Ct.AIrs
Per Captain Jack. Assistant.
Chicago, November "a. 1911.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09
Postmaster General and Santa Claus

POSTMASTER General Hitchcock and Cap
tain Jack Crawford. the poet scout are
old friends. having come together at
.Woolhurst. the home Of Thomas r.
Walsh. the Colorado miner and many
times millionaire, who was one Of Cap
tain Jacks scouts and Indian fighters as
pioneers OF the Black Hills. when the poet
scout was the chief Of the rangers, and
all three were together NJ the notification
OF MT. Taft after his nomination for the
presidency, when Captain Jack gave an
evening at the Pen and Pencil club at
cincinnati. The following IA "A copy of
letter and poem which Captain Jack
81 sending TO his friend. Frank Hitchcock,
because OF his action regarding letters
sent by children 10 Santa Claus, and Il
VII be appreciated by all lovers Of chill
dren and OF santa CLAUSE
To Postmaster General Hitchoock-My
Dear Friend: One Of the greatest compIi-
ments I ever had paid me was when a
little child said to its mother. "oh.
mamma see. That's Santa Claus" This
was on a train few days ago, ana soon
after hearing this remark, / came down
the aisle OF the car as II talking TO every
body saying There Is little boy who
wanted ehoo-choo engine last Christ
Tnas-I want 20 find him." and the little
fellow who had made the remark about
santa Claus and who was Just behind me.
spoke up and said. That's me. Santa
Claus"
picked him up In my arms. Rugged
and kissed him and said. 80 II is. We'll
well you did not set your choo-ehoo en-
glne did your
No said he. ''but papa said he would
try and get you TO send me one next
Christmas"
Indeed. no won't have to ask newly
should he when you are here 20 ash, for
yourself; and By the way dear what else
would you like TO hare next christnas?"
The boys daddy's eyes opened, but no
said not a word. aud the little blue eyes
danced as he replied. Il want a sure
enough engine that choo-choos ana a
train OF cara and q company of soisferu
and gun and a new sled. and
But stopped him saying Hold on
Don't you want any other boys 70 get
anything
ION. yes. l DO. 7 want you 70 SEND INV
cousin Willie little sister like have
got and"
But ! stopped him again. saying Now.
listen, you have asked for lot OF ex
pensive things for yourself. but you must
remember that our poor little bows ana
girls must have some things. too. and YOU
must give some of your old piaythinrs
10 some little boy that / may not see ON
my rounds. You know Il is an awfull,
VIII send you the engine. the train the
soldiers ana the now sled. but you must
busy time for me at Christmas. Now
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09
Conditions ia Te1as.

IN Texas conditions have become 40
oad nat a. convention Of prosecuting
attorneys the president OF the associa-
Ton stated has o. per seRt % lhe cases
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09

s n q u 8, n ATS,
~ z Q X W Z AR and
several other lines
specialized Saturday.
No room to tell OF
'em here. Better
shop around here and
see.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09

waited case OF assault. although the guilt Of
the defendant was clearly proved be-
cause the indictment closed with tho
words against the peace and dignity of
state Instead OF the state" as pre-
scribed by the constitution!
Commenting upon this decision. Fred
eriok w. Lehman. IN an address as
president OF the American Bar assocta-
ton said with bitter soorn:
Had mob assembled 10 Ivpch ~.
nend In this case, and had apnsarod
upon the scene and pleaded with tbon,
TO let the lawt take its course ,bo,,
would have said We have NO r.snoo,
Tor law which puts the definite artiola
tho In sanctlty above the chastity ~
our wives and daughters"
Possibilities of Delay,
IN strong message 10 the legislature
OF Florida, Governor A. w. Guchr,st
ureW vigorous picture Of the aInos,
null''ess possibilities for delay I'm the
teohhl'aiities by which the courts defiant
Justice Among the cases cited by Gov
ernor Ghohrst was that Of Nobro,,
against state, IN which the defen5.n,
was convicted I'm the trial court ~ tho
larceny OF COW. The supreme co,,r, -
fioilda reversed the Judgment OF the
io"er court and awarded a new trial nm
the grounds that the case oharead a..
ueiehdant with stealing a COW. whereas
Ihe evidence introduced was that no had
actually stolen a steer This was bald
by the court 20 be "A fatal variance -,
tween the allegations and the proof,
twenty 1--WE Years ago England found
user faee TO face with conditions ifko \,
those In medieval, Chinese America nos'
II swept them away with ruthless stroke
ana Is today pointed TO as THE leader
OF the world IN swift and accurate ,us.
tiee." JUS
but consider for a moment the storr,
OF protest which would arise from ever,
shyster In the land II our criminal iu5ges
were denied the right OF granting new,
trials And this brings us. 1 believe ~
the root Of the whole evil. That IS the
existence In the community OF A body ~
men whose business and profit IL Is 20
cheat ohstruct and nullify the law
HOW many members OF the legal pr,-
fession are there In the United s,otas
who would refuse. or have refused =,
defend al the bar men whom they knew,
TO be guilty OF crimes that they knew.
to be vince
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09

| did that man hand you a gold briclf7''
Il should say not" answered the anna
teur financier; he sold me an interest IN
the gold brick on credit and took a mort
gage on that together with everything
else / owned. Then he called the loan
and foreclosed the mortgage and took
possession of the gold brick along with the
lrest."-Washington Star.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09

books appeared under tae same title, as
well as similar colloctions. under such
titles as The New Joe Miller" and the
like.-Book of Days.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09

appealed were reversed And here IA
tair sample OF the cases.
One Walter Hickey shot and killed
Tom Dickson, near Haskell. Tex. in 1905
tie was tried six times. Two Of tho
tfials resulted in disagroements of the
Jury; IN the other four, convictions were
obtainca. Three times the life sentence
was Imposed, and once term OF impris-
onment for twenty-five years. Each time
the court OF criminal appeals reversed
the conviction. and finally the prosecut-
ing attorney gave Il UP as hopeless, and
su'a II appeared TO be impossible to con-
duot a trial In such a way as TO meet the
requirements OF the reviewing court.
And here Is another; one Grantham
was convicted OF burglary The inalet-
ment charged that the crime was com
mhtea in certain house occunied by
six persons, named therein. But the evil
denoe disclosed the fact that this house
was occupied by only the first five OF the
persons designated. The court of appeals
held that this variance between the ale
sauon ana tho proof was fatal. and the
conviction was therefore reversed,
is II any wonder that under such con-
diuons Texas Justice" should become a
py"ord and that this judicial scandal
should be a subject even OF party plat
forms, and that in two messages 20 the
legislature Governor Campbell should
urge sweeping reform In one OF these
messages Governor Campbell said:
The people and the press OF the state
are protesting against existing condI-
lions and have the right 20 expect relief
at the hands Of your honorable bodies.
The technicallues and high Rounding
ornate, literary nonsense now obstruet-
ING the courts. encouraging crime, de-
teating justice. should be swept away by
some common sense legislation. with
this done, the bar and courts could be
reduced, Instead OF Increased. and Grim
lnals could be more speedily and GER
tainly punished.
Granting Appeals.
Consider now few OF the causes upon
which appeals have been granted. la
south Carolina an Indictment was dis
missed because the word father" was
spelled farther. In Alabama another
Indictment was quashed because the let
ter r. was left out la spelling the word
malice In North Carolina cause was
found 60 reverse a decision because
breast was spelled "brest." In West
Virginia horse-thief gained a new trial
because In the indictment the name OF
the state was once abbreviated as w.
And these cases could liter
ally be multiplied By hundreds OF othersl
Ia Missouri the court OF appeals set
Asias N verdict ~ peculiarly SSEra-
Omaha daily bee., 1911-12-09
BREAKDOWN or JUSTICE
Shocking Record of Crime Condi.
tons in the United States.
LAX ENFORCEMENT OF LAW
ProPosai 10 Take Administration OF
JuutiesJyA Always from lawyers ana
Give IL 90 Trained Grim
iRoioEtzts.

There are more than 10000 murdersrs
now living in the United states, OF whom
more than three-fourths have never been
imprisoned for their crimes. Last year
in New York City the coroner reported
1sS homicieea; the grand jury cons,d o..
cred il9, and there were forty-five con-
Nietions-oRe ia four In Chicago last
year there were sO2 murders reported;
one was hanged. fifteen sent 10 prison.
lse went scot free. This is nearly nine
out Of ten.
In Texas there have been over 1000
murders in the last two years. There
were LOIS indictments. In Dallas county
alone there were fifty-siN murders in one
year. twentythree indictments; one con.
Netion, sentence five years. in Harrls
county, fifty-seven murderers, two
hanged. In Tarrant county. forty muir.
defs; none hanged.
IN Alabama for the last two years
go murder cases were tried: twenty
seven death sentences-one IN twenty
three. in Louisville. KY, 1910. forty
seven murders; no hangings
for the whole country. sg7b purdars
In 1910; in 1859. iGS. Hanged for murder
IN 1910 ninety-four. Say one In ninety.
~ We step across the line into Can
ada' we ind that the number OF muir
derers per million OF population has
there dropped six-sevenths. The sue.
sestion. therefore. that the atrocious
conditions prevailing IN this country are
tnose Of a newly settled country. with a
large influx OF foreign population. IS
simply a miserable pretense. Canada has
a large population, II is much newer tbap
the United States; and as for the rest
our foreign born population IL far more
orderly and less murderous than the
natiye-born population.