davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
LUCKY MISTAKE.
Grocer Sent Pkg. of Postum and
Opened the Eyes of the Family.

A lady writes from Brookline, Mass:
"a package of Postum was sent me
one day by mistake.
Il notified the grocer, but finding
that there was no coffee for breakfast
next morning 1 prepared some Of the
Postum, following the directions very
carefully.
1T was an immediate success in my
family, and from that day we have
used it constantly, parents and chill
dren, too-for my three rosy young
sters are allowed to drink it freely at
breakfast and luncheon. They think it
delicious, and l would have mutiny
On my hands should I omit the be-
loved beverage.
my husband used to have a very
delicate stomach while we We're using
coffee, but to our surprise his stom-
ach has grown strong and sntirely well
since we quit coffee and have been on
Postum.
Noting the good effects In my fam
lily wrote to my sister, who was a
coffee topper, and after much persua-
sion got her to try Postum.
she was prejudiced against It at
first. but when she presently found
that all the ailments that coffee gave
her left and she got well quickly she
became and remains a thorough and
enthusiastic Postum convert.
Her nerves, which had becoms
shattered by the use Of coffee have
grown healthy again. and today she is
q new woman, thanks to Postum"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Greek. Mich, and the cause why" wiz
be found in the great little book. The
Road TO Wellville,r which comes in
pkgs.
Ever read the above 9efters A new
one appears from time &c time. They
are genuine, true. and full OF human
interest.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
LOTS OF WILD CAME.

will charge their hunters with all the
ferocity Of an ffrican buffalo
James Liddell. a son of the judge.
had an experience with one Of them
recently that will rot be forgotten in
a hurry. He was hunting and shot
the Dig fellow, knocking him off his
feet. AS the carabao lay still he ap-
preached him and when not a foot
away the carabao leaped to his feet
and charged.
There was no time for a shot, so
young Liddell did the only thing open
to autographed with the Infatuated
beast Three times the animal gored
him and finally the boy made his es-
cape. What the Filipinos in his party
regarded as them fraculous feature of
the accident was the fact that the
carabao had permitted him to escape.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
Inclined TO Be skentioal.

What do you see?" asked the bust.
ness man who had permitted the for
tune teller to- lead him into a dark
room and hold his hand.
"Ah, | see many wonderful things
here" she replied You will have
good luck with the business you are
going into"
WHAT else do you seer"
you will make a great deal OF
money SOON"
Anything more?"
You will live to be a very old man
and have good health"
"All right. What else?"
THAT is all | see"
Isn't there anything about a dark
little lady who loves me?"
"Oh. will look again. thought
you were old enough to have wife
and family. So. you are widower?"
Eyes. but don't more than half be-
Iieve you can fortell the future, after
all"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
Hobble Skirt Is Hindrance

half dozen napkins under her skirt.
The unfortunate lady doubled one
of the napkins twice and couldn't
help but notice it." said the officer
who spied her.
Catching female smugglers is diff
ficult work. The women seem to be
cleverer than the men at smuggling
and they will take longer chances.
When they are caught they weep and
go into hysteric;
"Oh, the women are certainly the
clever smugglers," said Miss Daisy
Zuckriegel, who is stationed at tho
Woodward avenue dock to watch the
women who go back and forth on the
ferries. Eight years experience has
made Miss Zuckriegel an expert at
spotting smugglers
How do spot smugglers ~
Well. there are several ways. For
instance, | watch the people going
over the river and generally re-
member them when they return. If
they attempt to smuggle anything
over it is an easy matter to catch
them. Then we are familiar with the
favorite methods employed by Snug
glers and we know just where to look.
When two women get off the boat.
eating candy with much gusto, | ask
them to step into the Office without
any prelimlnaries. The chances are
100 to L that stuff win be found con-
cealed about their persons"
What do they smuggle?"
Why, the smuggle anything that
is movable. Blankets, linen goods,
hardware. laces. butter, eggs and fowl
are brought over by women under
their skirts"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
AS the Boy Had suuaestsd.

DO you remember. my boy" asked
the father. kindly but firmly. that in
your studies you suggested that &C
tons spoke louder than words?"
Yes. sir" said the boy with a grin
that he did not feel.
Thereby, as took It. you ex
pressed that you would like to have
me express my emotions In some
more substantial way"
"Yessir."
Il have not forgotten that. There
is great deal that is worthy Of con.
sideration in that saying. And
though you have displeased me great
ly today. will show you what think
Come with me-" And the father led
the way to the woodshed
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
New Penal system for Ontario.

The Ontario government has recent
~ abolished the system of prison la.
Dor contracts in that province In flu
ture the majority of the prisoners in
the penal institutions of Ontario viii
be employed upon farms and the MAX
ing of roads in the newly opened dis
tricts. There will, however be a per-
centage of the prisoners whose health
or other circumstances prevent them
from joining in this open air work.
These men will manufacture hospital
supplies-beds. blankets and so forth.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
THEY CHEATED AT CARDS
Experienced Shopper, Who Was Wise
Put Hubby Onto Facts of
the Case.

Speaking of family poker partieI,
this really happened:
A young married couple attended
such a session at the home of neigh
Dor the other night. And when this
young couple got home, the female
end of the sketch said:
Jim, hate to say anything about
the Halls-they seem to be nice peo-
pie. But I'm afraid they cheat at
cards"
"Nonsense!"
Il knew you'd say that, and it's dear
of you to be so unsuspecting. But
well, what was the price of the chips,
tonight? Five cents each? That's
what l thought. Jim, examined
those chips carefully, and they're the
very same thing that 1 could have
bought at Jones' store for a dollar a
hundred in all three colors, tool
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
Mice in Cancer Research

are an example of the international
free trade existing among research
workers on cancer. At times OF
mouse famine in other countries we
have sent English mice to our fellow
workers in those countries, Because
OF this international exchange in
European mice it is not easy at the
present time to get from Germany or
other near countries mice which one
can be certain are pure-bred foreign
stock. These Japanese mice viii be
of great value to us. because we know
that we have in them an entirely new
field for research Our object, broad
iy, will be to see whether these mice
will become more susceptible to Eng
lish cancer as they become accIima-
t!zed to English conditions and &C
customed to English food"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
Mars Game of Smuggling Across Line
From Detroit to Windsor-Wom-
en- More Clever Than Men.

Detroit, Mich.-Hobble skirts and
small crowned hats, now very much
in vogue, are having a depressinr eff
feet on the Windsor export trade. The
walking skirt is made to fit the form
rather closely and a nur Der Of De-
troit women have -four i that when
the tubular symmetry of the hobble
is disturbed by a few bulky bargains.
the sharp-eyed dstoms officers are
very quick to criticize 1t would be
rash and desperate venture for hob
ble-skirited traveller to attempt TO
smuggle over a wooden blanket. for in
stance Only the other day the Gus
toms officers at the foot of Woodward
avenue stopped a woman and later 1t
was discovered that she concealed a
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
PowerfuI oesnnIo Process.

Let us understand. once for all,
mat the ethical progress of society de-
Ponds, not on initiating the cosmic
process. still less in running away
from it, but in combating 1t. The cos
mic process born with US and, to a
large extent, necessary for our main
tenance, IS the outcome of millions OF
years of severe training, and It
would be folly 10 imagine that few
centuries win suffice to subdue its
masterfulness to purely ethical ends.
Ethical nature may count upon having
TO reckon with a tenacious and pow
erful enemy as long as the worlF
lasts."-Huxley.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
What He Mas noInn-

AS the Wellmcr family were return.
ing from 2 trip tire burst and some
thing vent wrong with the car. OF
course. Papa Wellmer had to FIX It.
.Ic said a few things to himself and
then proceeded 10 crawl under the ma.
Line. As be was tinkering with II a
man. evidently from Egg Harbor.
walked by and. Of course. stopped to
find out the trouble.
"F1xin' the machine, chr" he said.
STOPPING down.
Nope" said Wellmer. in mufreo
tones. Just taking course by mail
on raising chickens"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
A cIew.

How did the accident happen?"
asked the reporter on the scene of the
railway horror, the Cleveland Plain
Dealer records.
Somebody stopped the train by pull
ing the airbrake cord answered the
conductor. so the second section ran
into us. 1t will take six hours to clear
the track so that we can go ahead"
Six hours?' shrieked passenger.
And l was TO be married todayl"
Have you any idea who pulled the
rope?" continued the reporter, dsre.
garding the interruption,
Il didn't have until now" whispered
the conductor. But what do you think
of that fellow that Just butted in?
I'll sic the detectives on him"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
PorpoIse seares Rathsrs.

New York.-There was a wild
scramble at the Fourth avenue
grounds at Asbury Park. N. j., when
a porpoise appeared among the 1000
bathers. The crowd, thinking It was
shark, made a rush for shore. the
men leading the women. The Dor.
poise. undisturbed by the clamor.
swan leisurely around and then made
his way northward. but It was some
time before the bathers again got
into the water.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
Friendly Offices.

Friends bound th- bridal pair with
ropes, shaekled then to their scat
In the car, and cover5i them with
pIacards which coarsely set forth that
they were newly-msrried-
Boys" protested the groom. at
length, this isn't fun!"
But the friends did not take ofense.
graciously bearing In mind that where
8 man is so desperately In love. his
sense OF humoS undergoes a tempo
rary g. 1ension.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09

only by throwing a dynamite cartridge
into the tunnels In the morning that
they can be driven out and the con-
tractors get in to 90 to work
1t is also stated that they are like
ly to be the cause OF considerable
litigation among mine owners next
year, as they have destroyed a num-
Der OF location stakes by eating
them. Owing to the fact that alder
and willow comprise the only wood in
the gulch. nearly sill the location
stakes are Of these woods. which, In
the absence Of other food. due TO the
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
Danish Hard.Tsek.

New York.-Word comes to mill
tary circles here from Washington
that bareback has been banished in
favor of new ration to be known as
field bread" Hard-tack will be used
in the future only when an organiza-
ton is cut of from supply train or
is on a forced march. The new field
bread is composed Of -four, water,
salt and yeast
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09

Plainfield, n, AFTER a month OF
work. first by an "xpe,t in the Farm
ers State bank OF r. sa. Okla. and
later by other experts in the big safe
fEctory here. a strong box supposed
to contain $4,000 was opened in this
city. A lone dime was all the steel
chest contained.
The safe was used by L. r. Tub
ner. cashier Of the Tulsa bank Tub
ner killed himself recently in Florida.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
GOATS ARE PEST IN ALASKA
Animals Have Worse Appetites Than
Those Of hoboken-Destroy
Stakes by Eating Them.

Fairbanks, Alaska.-Reports from
Mineral gaich ere that the mountain
goats which infest that section are be.
coming exceedingly troublesome to
the miners. During stormy weather.
x is said. they crowd into the tunnels
that are being driven on the claims
Ssh up Oh the mountains. and It Is
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09

An old man stood on the street cor
ner in Cherryvale when the trolley
stopped and let or woman passen.
ger. She had on Ia linen dress, a Pan.
anna hat, hampagne-colored hose and
strapped pumps GOSH" exclaimed
the old man I'D spend less money
on my bonnet and buy some socks. -.
Cherryvale (Kan) Journal.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09

AS a last resort they gave me Doan S
Kidney Pills and slight improvement
was noticeable. l kept getting better
and better until at last was able to
leave my bed. From then on gained
rapidly. 1t was but q short time be
fore / was as well as ever"
Remember the name-DoaT's.
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price SOC.
Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo, n. Z.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09

Honesty is also one OF the funda-
mental principles It never pays to
break If to be a good fellow means
you are 20 sneak. or steal. or lie. then
you dig 3 pit into which one donkey
certainly viii fall. and his name win
be spelled Just Ike yours.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
A Matter Of RnnaIr.

q see." said Hicks, that they have
started movement over In England to
remodel the Ten Commandments"
Remodel. eh?" snorted Dorkins.
What waste Of time-all they need
is restoration. "-Harper's Weekly.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09

ated, and had intense
pain in my back and
head. My limbs
swelled and stomach
bloated. ! got so low
that l was kept alive
by stimulants. The
doctor told my fam
lily I was in the last
stages of Bright's
disease, and could
not last three days.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
Minds Mated.

81 can tell you one thing. said Taw-
kins with emphasis. when marry, IT
won't be any higher education girl
My wife won't know Greek"
NO said Edgely, looking at him 81
tentiyely. nor beans"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
Stole Collection plata

Hartford. Conn--The society of the
Park Congregational church OF this
city is looking for the person who
stole all but two of the collection
plates. The loss was discovered when
a collection was about to be taken.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09

deep snow. the goats attack eagerly.
large number OF the animals
have been killed by the men at work
in the gulch. but the number seems
to increase rather than diminish.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
Ennart Advlnn

How long does II take to learn &c
run an automobile?'
You'll need ahout three days to &C
quaint yourself with the working parts
Of the machine and week to master
the vocabulary"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
Well Described.

Tommy-Pop, what is a theorist?
Tommy's Pop-A theorist, my son,
IS man who thinks he is learning to
swim by sitting on the bank and
watching a frog.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09

A love affair can end two ways:
In one the letters and pictures are
burned; in the other the letters and
pictures are foi gotten.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-08-09
pRlesr's DISEASE.
How Severe Case Was Cured After
Dostcrs Gave Up Hone.

]. c. Reimers, Litchfeld St, St.
Paul. MINI, says: Il was SO bad
could not arise from bed. Urine was
dark and scant. l was thin and enact
Evening journal., 1911-12-29
BRIDGEVILLE

Special to THE EVENING JOURNAL.
BR1DGEVILLE, Del, Dec. 20
Sunny Side Grange has had a pros
porous year, taking in a number Of
new members. At the last meeting
State Master S. II Messick. master Of
the local grange, gave very interest
ing report of the State meeting
The local amusement house has
been vastly improved by a large mir
ror screen.
Marshall p. Torbert, a Long Island
truck farmer who has been living in
Bridgeville for the past year, has
moved to his farm near Greenwood
where he will make a specially of
growing sweet corn and tomatoes for
the New York market.
c. II. Rawlins. Jr., professor of
mathematics at Dickinson Seminary
Williamsport. Pa. is spending the hol-
idays with his parents, Mr. and Mrs
G. II. Rawlins
70. II. Lawyer, manager of a large
canning establishment at Vineland, n
j., is spending the week with his
mother-in-law Mrs Mary p Short.
William Carter Supervisor of
Agents for the Delaware Division OF
the p. b and w. Railway. i1 spending
the holidays with his parents, Mr. and
Mrs T. G. Carter
Evening journal., 1911-12-29
MARRIED, BUT
SECRET IS KEPT

Special to THE EVENING JOURNAL.
DOVER. Del, Dec. 29.-Women can
keep secrets in Delaware and the
mystery that the people OF Viola are
trying 10 solve, locked in the bosom
of two young women is. Has the
double wedding taken place yet"
Several days ago licenses were is
sued for the marriage OF Samuel
Alexander Webb and Mary NJ SHUTS.
and Of Norman Earle Webb and Jessie
Knode Shutts-two brothers marry
ing two sisters There was a large
house party at their home on Christ
mas Day and their brother from the
West arrived for the day and evening,
and It is supposed that the wedding
took place Monday evening. No an
nouncement is made of IL. however
The girls and women OF Viola. with
whom the two school teachers now
about to leave for Idaho as brides. are
great favortes. will give them a linen
shower this evening. Meantime. the
girls are consumed with curiousity as
to whether to call them Miss" or
Mrs"
Evening journal., 1911-12-29
SHORTER SEASON FOR
NEW YORK LEAGUERS

According to a statement which be-
came known i'm Scranton. the New
York State League magnates at the
meeting in Albany made a number OF
new laws. which from the outside APP
pear to be working against the best
interests OF the fans.
II has been learned on good author
ity that the league season is to close
on Labor Day, which means that play
ers will have to sign contracts for
four months instead of four and half.
as I'm past seasons. thus entaling a
loss of at least St00 TO every expert
cnced player.
Secondly, the moguls are also said
TO have ruled. in the strictest secret.
that not more than five players will
be allowed on any one team who have
played a full season in any league of
"A higher class than the New York
State League.
AT the meeting of the league TO be
held early next month in Wilkesbarre,
some of the owners are going to try
to have these new rules stricken out,
as they have found that in cases 1t Is
impossible to land certain players be-
cause of the one-season restriction.
From the source of information IL is
learned that Scranton, Binghamton,
Wilkesbarrc. Syracuse and Albany are
the teams that favor the four-month
season. while Elmira, Utica and Troy
oppose.
Evening journal., 1911-12-29
CHICAGO SURE
OF THE OUTLAWS
Rr Ma rnlted Press.

BY The United Press.
CHICAGO. Dec. 29.-That a third
baseball league Is certain to operate
in Chicago next spring whether the
proposed United States outlaw"
League becomes a factor or not, is
the statement OF John Powers. or
eanizer of the Wisconsin League. who
has figured In a number az baseball
ventures. Powers said today:
II am informed by William A.
Whitman. of Reading. Pa. president
of the United States League. that
there is ample capital behind the new
organization and that they will put
"a club on the North Side at Gunther
Park Even should this plan fail. we
are prepared to organize "A minor
league in Wisconsin and Illinois with
a franchise on the North Side in
Chiouoa -
Evening journal., 1911-12-29
LOCALS FOR
THE OPTIONAL

The Harrisburg Telegraph saws:
-Four OF the six clubs assured for
the Tri-State League next season are
in favor of returning TO the rule pro-
hibiting the playing of optional play
crs in the Tri-State Lancaster ia
vors the now rulcand Harrisburg has
made no decision. but favored the
changes at the last meeting.
Trenton, Wilmington and York di-
rectors say it is a serious mistake on
the part of the Tri-State. and fear il
viii Kill baseball In certain cities.
A'dulnk IS against al rpboudl dSIte-
mcnt unless players removed by ma
jor league managers are replaced by
men equally as good, or a clause pre-
venting the taking away of a player
after certain date.
Wilmington is not against the OPP
iional agreement clausc)
Evening journal., 1911-12-29
INTER-CITY
LEAGUE PASSES
Fifth Ward Drops Out to Play
With Delaware COuntlanS
Next Year

Judping from a morning dispatch To-
day from Media. last years Inter-City
League, composed of dupont, Whining
ton Gas Company, Fifth Ward and
Seaboard. will not be in another
league this year.
The dispatch follows: AT a meeting
of the Delaware County League last
night Fifth Ward was admitted to the
organization as representative club
of Chester. and will be scheduled as
the Chester team. Assurances were re-
ceived from Clifton Heights that the
@eam Of that place will remain In the
circuit, so that the clubs next season
will be Upland, Pembroke. Media,
Chester. Clifton Heights and Prospect
Park Daniel c. Doherty will manage
Chester. Samuel j. Boland succeeds
Robert c. Greer as manager Of Penn
broke
THE annual league banquet will be
held In Philadelphia, Saturday even
ing. January 27. and several hundred
baseball fans from Delaware county
are expected to attend. The committee
arranging for the affair consists of
Frank w. Shoemaker. chairman; El-
lis c. Abrams, S. G. Roland, Harry +.
Ottey. William J. Shettsline, Jr.. Frank
NJ. Miller, Rev. Thomas A. Armour
J. B, Roberts. Daniel c. Doherty and
John J. Ernst
Evening journal., 1911-12-29
AMERICA IN THE
OLYMPIC GAMES
Rv NM IIniInd press

By The United Press.
NEW YORK. Dec. 29.-For the
first time in the history OF the Olym-
pic games. America will be repre-
sented by team Of fencers at Stock
holm next year Cadets from the
military and naval academies at West
Point and Annapolis will be on the
team and Congress viii be asked for
an appropriation TO cover their ex-
penses TO Sweden. The bouts for the
selection ot the American team will
be held here in April
Evening journal., 1911-12-29
THEY CAN'T STOP
THE MOHAWK FIVE

At New Castle last night Mohawk
defeated Columbia A. C. at basketball
30 TO 25
Mohawk has not been defeated this
year and hope TO win every game on
the schedule. Foster and Short have
been added TO the squad and have ma
terially strengthened H.
Evening journal., 1911-12-29

A NEW AND RELIABLE SHOP FOR
n repairing Stoves. Heaters and Ranges
where gooo, thorough work will be done
for patrons, az reasonable rates. has Just
ben opened-at 7l6 Shipley Street, BY
THOMAS BIRD. The proprietor has had
forty years Of practical experience in this
line Of business, and he believes that he
can satisfy any reasonable requirements Of
his customers He Respectfully Solicits Pa
tronagc. He offers for sale Secondhand
Stoves both for cooking ana heating Per
wishing TO buy, or having such stoves
20 sell. are respectfully requested 70 call and
confer with him. Square Dealing Is a
business rule with him. Busin commun-
ications viii receive respectful and prompt
ful service. At s'THE BIRD SHOP"
o7-Sm