davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

CAS- my Spanish is rusty and the
word was never used during my short
connection with the Cuban rebellion
says Hondo Murphy, II don't know
what they call 'em in Mexican, but 1
hold that Mexico is rapidly acquiring
the largest collection of 'armistices,'
which is the Associated Press word for
slight pauses between scraps"
Honesty is the best policy. unless
good lawyer and then have little bit
left over.
Speaking of time" and space" COZ
course, no one was speaking of time
and space) BUT did you ever chance
to observe that: although the tele-
graph is supposed to "annihilate
space" the district messenger boy
evens things by simply killing time?
The real reason of the girls sus-
ceptibility to a change Of beaux in the
springtime is: that although the last
winter one matched her furs, he is out
of harmony with her spring hat.
White lies are the kind we tell;
black ones are the kind we hear told.
Our favorite idea of nothing to hear
is the account of what some ivory
head in the next back row "seen in
Minneapolis when we attend a vaude-
Vile show and are trying to listen to
the work of violinist who is really
an artist, and the star feature of an
otherwise mediocre bill.
Was it in Tristan Shandy" that
some Anticipated simp was made to say
of a fly: 1.-THE world is surely big
enough for thee and me?" Can YOU
subscribe to that sentiment? Do you
mol hot 90 Fer~a ,,erl,
or fast enough to escape the fly that
has taken fancy to your nose?
In re voracious appetites: Witness
excerpt from the report of a Salina
picnic: up to 6 o'clock the crowd
had eaten So cases of pop-750
cigars
1t may be, of course, that the pop was
put up in those new tangled paper bot
ties, and that the cigars were COM
posed of New Jersey cabbage; other
wise it may be we'll for visitors in Sa-
lima to leave their umbrellas with the
night clerk. An umbrella would be
tasty morsel, compared with the ordi
nary pop bottle.
To avoid the effort of writing some
thing worse, we hereby illustrate and
print the latest effort of PONCE.
Kindly observe that he has declared
an armistice. and does not mention the
name of Macarthur, even by inference,
The hot spell seems to have touched
him. Do you follow him Neither do
we.
BUT, nevertheless; Ladies and
others-Mr. Ponce.
A snipe threw into the street;
it lit beneath a news-boys feet.
He stopped and scared the flies
away. and smoked the thing the
| live-long day. I blew some smoke
into the air; it waited gently here
and there, and quite by chance it
| struck a. fly. I-stood and watched
the darn thing die The fly that
lit upon the snipe, spied some to-
matoes, fresh and ripe. l shooed
him off, and purchased three. and
| took them home for wife and me.
The doctor says perhaps 1 may. if
1 lay still sit up today, and wife
dear, who was not sick, is swatting
Typhus with a brick.
| PONCE.
1
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Our favorite idea of nothing to hear
is the account of what some ivory
head in the next back row "seen in
Minneapolis when we attend a vaude-
Vile show and are trying to listen to
the work of a violinist who is really
an artist, and the star feature of an
otherwise mediocre bill.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Speaking of thine" and space" COZ
course, no one was speaking of time
and space) BUT did you ever chance
to observe that: although the tele-
graph is supposed to ''annihilate
space" the district messenger boy
|evens things by simply killing time?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Was it in Tristan Shandy'' that
some Anticipated simp was made to say
of fly: 1.-THE world Is surely big
enough for thee and me?" Can YOU
subscribe to that sentiment? Do you
believe that you could go far enough
or fast enough to escape the fly that
has taken fancy to your nose?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

White lies are the kind we tell
black ones are the kind we hear told.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

The real reason of the girls sus
ceptibility to a change of beaux in thu
springtime is: that although the las
winter one matched her furs, he is on
of harmony with her spring hat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

ITS play that hasn't one redeeming
feature" Except the scene in the pawn
brokers' shop."-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
KANSAS COMMENT
ENOUGH Is PLENTY.

The newspaper stbirth statistics
just issued from the State Historical
society, mentioning that ninety new
newspapers "have been born in Kan
sas during the past year, reminds one
of the story of the preacher of very
limited means who upon searching for
a name for his newly arrived, eighth
young hopeful, received the apt ad-
vice from wise old Dame, Name it
En- ough.'"
The fact is that thirty newspapers
have died natural death in Kansas
during the past season because the
game offered little or no financial re-
turns. The newspaper field is over
crowded. There is no need for newly
born" newspapers unless 1T is in some
mysteriously overlooked community
that is entirely without a local paper.
There are grave doubts If any such
'long felt wants" as these are deserv-
ing of a printer editors hard earned
cash and harder labor. The news
paper prospects in Kansas should con-
slider the advice of the wise old
dame" as applied to more publica-
Kansan- Republican.
AN EXCELLENT LAW.
There is no more salutary law upon
the statute books than that which ap-
plies to conditions of pure food.
1t is a menace to health to have
either filthy conditions or unfit articles
of food about public places that cater
to the wants of the people and it is
wise for the state to take cognizance of
these things and compel a strict OBJ
serVance of the law.
When some are caught mapping and
neglectful by the inspections that are
made it is no misconception of justice
that they be made to suffer such pen
atty as the court may inflict and it
serves as a future warning not only to
the offender but to others that the law
must be observed.-Clay Center Re-
publican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

CAS- my Spanish is rusty and the
word was never used during my short
connection with the Cuban rebellion
says Hondo Murphy, II don't know
what they call 'em in Mexican, but 1
hold that Mexico is rapidly acquiring
the largest collection of 'armistices,'
which is the Associated Press word for
Slight pauses between scraps
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Honesty is the best policy, unless
you can steal enough to purchase a
good lawyer and then have little bit
left over.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
A SATURDAY SERMON.

Good understanding giveth favor; but
the way of the transgressor is hard. Pro-
verbs XIII +: Is.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

paw, are there microbes in sugar
Yes, Bobby" (Thoughtful pause.) Nv ell,
don't blame 'em, paw."-Chicago Trio-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-28
JAYHAWKER JOTS

The Beardsley reporter of the At
wood Square Deal attributes a short
age of water in the wells in his local
ity to the drouth
A good catch, reports the Rossville
Reporter, was made Tuesday night by
one of the ladies of fishing party
a pair of overalls, but the man had
slipped out.
1T is good" sings the editor of the
Hays City Republican, ito hear the
mill whistle blow again at in the
morning and in the evening" But,
then, Brother Griffith doesn't work in
the mill.
A Cunningham grocer advertises in
The Clipper of that town as follows:
Resolved, That if you VIII just care
fully weigh our quality or quantity
with our prices you won't go aweigh,
but you Will weight for all you need in
our store. We not only cut cheese, but
We cut prices on our groceries.
Mormonism is not nearly as attrac-
tive to the people of Summerf1eld as is
the skating rink there. as is evidenced
by this item in the Sun of that place:
A couple of Mormon preachers blew
into town Wednesday morning and
held forth on the streets last even
ing. Their crowd was rather slim after
the skating rink started.
News from Up Creek in the Luray
T1SIdlu- WO parties III tfli5 u6lSlDOI-
hood had some trouble cve- the car
cass of COW last week. A lost the
COW, the carcass being tnree-quarters
of q mile from any dwelling B came
to A. asked permission to hitch to the
carcass and bring It home to feed his
hogs. This A would not allow, owing
to BIS premises being close to the pub
lie road and to other dwellings This
angered Be and he complained to the
health officer and compelled A to bury
the carcass.
The Everest Enterprise is owned by
a clergyman who apparently is not
losth to tell a joke on the Cloth, as he
printed the following story recently:
A bishop who was very fastidious di-
rected that particular care be taken of
his bath tub. He gave strict orders
to his housemaid and directed that no
one should be allowed to use his
'bawth tub" A1asl the temptation
grew on the maid and she took a
plunge. The bishop returned unex-
pectedly and, finding traces of the
stolen bath questioned the maid so
closely she confessed thai she was the
culprit and was sorry. Il hope you
do not think it a sin, bishop said
Mary in tears. Very sternly the bishop
replied: Mary, your us1ns my bath
tub is not a sin, but what distresses
me most is that you would do anything
behind my back that you would not do
to nv face.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-28
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison GIobe.1

rom the ALCnlSOn (TiODG.
Enthusiasm must be used intelli-
gently to be effective.
There's something funny about 4
person who likes a cat.
Very small men and very big men
are least likely to be whipped.
Beyond the fuzz a pessimist cant
notice anything much about peach.
The party with perfect digestive
apparatus is ever too anxious to prove
it,
A billiard expert may be able to
make money at it. but he isn't en-
titled to it.
A young rooster just coming into
knowledge that he has a voice, 2rac-
tees too much.
Talk, however. is not so cheap rs
some of the people who indulge in a
good deal of it.
What has become of the old-fash-
toned wrestler whose favorite hold was
the grapevine twist?
POliteness doesn't cost anything be-
yond the great effort which seems to
be its price with some.
Still, if a player doesn't perform
pretty well, he would like to forget the
grandstand if he could.
We are somewhat suspicious Of the
man who complains that it is difficult
for the poor man to get justice.
1t may be difficult for a man to
know himself, but he usually kno
more about that subject than he tells.
Seeing them in action, one is COM
PEELED to wonder how boy can keep
still long enough to read a dime novel.
When a man refers to his wife as
his better half. one should not wager
too heavily on the sincerity of his
statement.
The percentage of people who would
be all right if they would only keep
their mouths shut seems to be increas-
ing.
How a big, fat man, who tries to
throw off business worries a few hours
a day, hates to be called Merry sum
shine"
] Something disastrous is always like
4 ly to happen to the wheat crop until
mother is certain she had good luck
with her bread
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-28
JOURNAL ENTRIES

No infant is able to realize IT, but
he is having the time of his life.
What's become of the old fashione ed
man whose word was as good as mis-
bond
Many people have to use a little
common sense because they're not
blessed with any more.
The baseball fan is pleased with any
old kind of a supper when the home
team wins.
The baby whose parents give 1t a
great reputation for ''smartness'' gen
orally fails to show off to very good
advantage when a stranger is around.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-28
SEED WHEAT.

In several of tie Kansas counties de-
voted largely to wheat culture, where
the crop was almost a total failure this
wear, many of the farmers are up
against a hard proposition to make
the necessary arrangements for their
seed wheat for next years crop. Some
Of them are urging that a special ses-
sion of the legislature be called to
provide funds so that this seed wheat
may oe procured with the understand
ing that the farmers return the price
of it at their later convenience. This
has been done in Kansas on ut least
one similar occasion.
1t is a reasonable state activity but
is more or less cumbersome and ex-
pensive, ard disturbing in other ways.
If the Kansas constitution was similar
to that of some other states whereby
a special session of the legislature can
take up only such matters as are
brought to its attention in the call
issued for it by the governor, there
could be listle or no objection to call
| ing a special session to transact such an
important piece of business. But the
Kansas legislature once called in ses-
sion can take up any and all questions
that its members are pleased to project.
And the thing that Kansas needs least
of all these days is additional law
making of the promiscuous variety.
The suggestion has been made that
county commissioners issue special
bonds to provide funds for the pur-
chase of seed wheat in the counties
where the farmers are up against it in
this particular. This would seem to
be the better WY if the county COM
missiOners have the authority to do
this. They ought to have that authority
If they haven't, if is only another mar
rowness to the laws relative to the adj
ministration of county affairs. Laws
for the government of counties and
cities should be sufficiently elastic to
permit the local authorities to meet an
| emergency of this sort or any otner
In Decatur County, Otis L Benton, a
banker at Oberlin, has announced that
| he VIII undertake to provide the farm
ers in his vicinity with all the seed
wheat they can use. Mr.. Benton puts
in an important ard sensible proviso.
He will furnish this wheat to the farm
ers who agree to use modern methods.
indicated by the state Agricultural col
lege. in the preparation of the soil for
wheat planting and in its culture. Thus
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-28

come at all careless in the matter of
safeguarding their premises from fire
in any form. A large percentage of
fires results from carelsssness on the
part of individuals; another large per-
centage happens because Of the faulty
construction of houses ard buildings
particularly as to construction of Chin
neys and the placing of fues. And re-
gardless of how excellent water sup
ply may be. there is always the chance
that an inopportune wind, or some
other condition, will fan a small fire
into a large confagration. An ade-
quate water supply to fight fires is a
necessity and a great blessing, but care
in preventing the starting of fires is
more ef1cacious
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-28
QUAKER BIEDITATIONs.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.
Better late than never" is a poor
rule to follow in making mistakes.
Some people believe everything they
hear and take the rest for granted.
The actress who starts out on her
wedding trip doesn't expecs it to be her
farewell tour.
Even though actors may not have
much faith in heaven, they thoroughly
believe in angels.
The greatest Iabor-saving device is a
political machine. It saves many q
man from working.
Sillicus-Old age is the evening of
life Cynicus-And second childhood
is the next morning
The man who is left doesn't take
much consolation from the fact that
his conscience tells him be is right.
It is possible to overdo anything. A
woman who is always cleaning house
can't expect to keep her husband
home.
The secret of youth, from a femi-
nine point of view. Is to took younger
than you are and act younger than You
look.
81 am forced to admit that bonast
men are as scarce as hens teeth said
the political reformer. And lust about
as practicable" added the professionaI
politician -e--
Mrs. Muggins: MRS. Subbubs is
born diplomatist." Mrs Buegins-
Yes, she can even engage a cook from
an employment agency without feeling
That she mas lost her self-respect.'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-28
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


1From the Chicago NeWs.1
A kind word to the cook helps some
Learn to know others by studying
yourself.
Figures do not lie but estimates are
often misleading.
It's easier to set a good example
than to hatch it out.
Soaking the brain in alcohol does
not preserve the mind.
Charity covereth u multitude of peo-
pie with cast off garments.
Few men cut their wisdom teeth IN
til after they are married.
Things worth while are more apt to
come your way if you q after them.
A so-caIled campaign of education is
more likely to be campaign of elo-
cution.
There's nothing original about find
ing fault with others or concealing
your own faults.
At the age of three score and ten
many a man reminds US of an expert
ment that failed.
It doesn't cost very much to please
a woman; but keeping her pleased is
what causes many man to go broke.
Before marrying an irebriate to re-
form him, a girl should learn the gen
tie art of chasing soiled linen up and
down a Washboard.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-28

heart in his throat, found no word 20
say. He was holding the girls little
warm, trembling hand
Ruth ne said II can't wait here
for you to tell what on eSrth got you
into a place like this I've been hunt
1t dropped out the window and came
up with 1t. found you by the merest
chance; it makes me shudder to think
might have gone by. Have you for
gotten me? Do you still-care about
me as you did in High School? Do
you?
She had pulled away from him and
was again twisting the handkerchief
with the little shy motion she had
used in school when he talked with
her. She never said much. why ola
you go away" he insisted. why
didn't you let me know
You were in college, and 1 felt
Ignorant didn't know anything. 1
wanted to learn and be something by
myself. 1 spent all my money in bust
ness college-all but about IS, and this
was the only place could get in sum-
mer. You know you cant get work in
the summer if you are not expert
enced"
when are you-Ruth, are you go
ing to marry me Pr
She shook her head stubbornly,
looking at him in the old child way
gu - are " Just " sorry = IOI
-me-and I want you Toto
I'm sorry for myse1f-Im fairly
dying of loneliness=of wanting some
body to love me-and wanting you to
Lowell You surely don't know anything
if you don't know that, silly girl!''
'Well,-if you-feel like that about
it," she said slowly.
He stopped and kissed ner once very
gently. Then he walked ever to a nail
and took down her hat
Put it on he said. You don't
stay here another minute. Phone to
somebody-the doctors people, any
one, to look after his disreputahle
old hole" He waited for her to obey
Then as she finished and was with
him in the hall, something of her old
self appeared, and it made Jerry Cas-
per laugh with gladness.
''The-obeying seems to be coming
first" she said copyright. 1911, by
the Associated Literary Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-28
Stargazing.

When Venus hung in the sky al
most opposite the arc of the crescent
moon the other night certain MEM
bers of a college fraternity whose
emblem was thus displayed on high
met and made appropriate remarks.
Then one of them said to the 9TH
ers: Couple of years ego Venus and
Jupiter We're in conjunction, rising
not long before the sun. I was going
home at that hour from my work in
a Washington newspaper office when
I saw a member of congress whom I
knew.
"He was looking down F street at
the two brilliant stars, which seemed
to be about 100 feet above ground
and close by. This stat esman had
been discussing the What is whisky
problem at his club.
&" 'Vhatsh that there? p he asked.
AN airship or worP comm t an end 2
''I told him about the stars. He
winked.
Funny said he. You newzhpap'
men think you know all about every
thing. b'gee.' New York Mail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-28
Hot Weather CoIors.

Such weather as that of the past
three days leads to a general putting
liberal Interpretation of the proprieties
will permit, and the substitution for
them of others lighter in color as well
as in weight. Women clothe themselves
in white and men in some approxina-
ton to it. Both believe this to be the
best dress for trepic temperatures, and
however hat they may be when
thus CARRIED they think they would be
hotter still in any other color.
This is almost certainly d mistake.
Among animals white coverings of fur
or feathers are the almost invariable
wear not in the tropics but in the arctic
regions. They are rare in the tenn
perate zones, and practically unknown
in lands where the sun is fierce. This
cannot be accidental, and there must
bly, our association of GOODNESS with
Whiteness is due to fI1e fact that white
cloth is usually thin Cloth, and the
thinness counts for more than the color.
There is, however, no reason Why cloth
cannot be both thin and dark. and Of
such cloth the coolest garments could
uuqUestionably be made, though it
would be many a year before they
would look coolest, or enable sugges-
ton to work its mighty spell and give
the illusion Of comparative comfort.
The army has discovered by actual
thermometer tests that blue or yellow
tents show a difference of interior tenn
perature amounting sometimes to full
ten degrees when standing beside white
ones in the full blaze of the southern
sun. Down in Panama all the admin
istretion'' houses. barracks, and shops
are painted almost black, and the oc-
cupants have already lost the feeling
that this color is lugubrious because
they have learned that black houses
are COOL or at least cooler, than those
of any other color, and that white
houses are the hottest of all.
1t must be noted, too, that white re-
fleets or transmits the short-lenGth, or
actin.c, light rays, while the darker
tints do it either not at all or to a
less extent. Those are the rays. We
know, that cause the dermatitis known
as "sunburn," and there are excellent
reasons for believing shat from them,
rather thar from the heat rays, come
most of our summer suffer1ngs. As
regards the lesson of the animals
there is some force in the suggestion
that their colors are largely to conceal
the wcarers from other animals, their
prev or their enemies, but polar bears
wouldn't wear white If It didn't keep
them warm, or lions and tigers yellow
if it didn't facilitate the radiation OF
their own heat.-New York Times.