davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16
The Man under.the Bed.

Miss Melissa inpson had regularly
looked under her bed for-odd years.
In all that time she had never found
a man under It, People often laughed
at her, but she did not care and went
on looking under her bed each day.
Years went by without the expected
happening.
Then, on this day, she went into the
bedroom Of her luxuriously furnished
home and was standing at the window
when she heard an unmistakable
sound. It was under her bed and Just
the sound she expected. Without
a sign Of fear. she turned on the lights
and walked over TO the bed. turned up
the draperies. -
How are you getting along?' she
called out without culver.
I'm almost through came back q
mufied. voice.
THAT is good.Y she returned calmly
and walked out Of the room. - Z
For 1t was housecleanipg time. and
he man was operating ayacuum clean
er.--Judge
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

the. pocket-book and throw the left
ca-elessly over the watch and chain.
This delays suspicion.
Rule TII.-When leaving Society al
ways walk backward and trust to luck.
Rule Iv.-When the hostess intro
duces you to lady always inquire
politely what her age is. If she tells
you in small figures raise the eye
brows with slight doubt II she
doesn't answer she is no lady.
Rule. v.--When you rise from the
pink tea table to take q smoke never
strike a match ON the back Of the
hostess
Rule vI.--Always drink tea with the
face. To drop 1t In between the neck
tie and the top of the waist-coat is
very selfish.
Rule vII-Never eat frcsh-laid pick
les with spoon. This is one Of the
most pitiful mistakes that man
could make in Society. Use the
thumb and the little finger. squeezing
the victim slightly until it is still and
motionless. Then bite 1t without
fear.
Rule vIII.-During an argument at
the table with the host never try to
score point by throwing your plate
at him. Always throw the butter. 1t
spreads wider and lasts longer to get
It on.
Rule Ix.-When you have placed
your napkin around your neck just
before dinner never ask for safety
pin. stick fork through It and
wade in. ~.
Rule X.-One Of the cutest ways to
60 after the beans is with wooden
toothpick. This custom has descend
ed from the inventor Of the Chinese
chopsticks. and it makes very inter
esting eating.
Rule X.-To eat soup through q
straw Is new idea, but only those
who are not In hurry win find much
enjoyment in this plan. The best way
is to get mad at. the soup. then get q
piece Of bread and soak 1t.
Rule xII.-Always at q Society wed
ding be sure to kiss the bride. The
| best way to kiss her Is before the
ceremony, because afterwards tbs
kisses belong to another gentleman
possibly her husband.
Rule XIII.-When dinner Is ovel
never ask the hostess what is fol
breakfast. II L. vulgar to be so hun
cry in public.
Rule xIv.--Neyer use your throa'
to remove the bones from a fish. i
sounds too unhappy.
Rule XV.-Be careful to wear pale
white hid gloves at wedding Kids
are always the national emblem of
wedding.
The little band Of willing worker
howled With delight when I finishes
| reading, all save Conrad, who said
earnestly. ~Mein lieber Chon. '.
should you blame such nice ideas Oh
dis Bunch Chefrerson? Society VII
like him better. for dis. yes?"
Society won't do a thing to him.
chuckled.
! well It Is fine knowledge to know
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16
BIRTHDAY GIFT FOR RasTUs
His Day Of Pleasure, But Woe and
TribuIatlon. for the Fest
Of the Brood.

Human nature is a queer mixture.
The average man, next to good for
tune for himself. is best pleased to
see Ill fortune befaIl his friends /"
The speaker, George Barr McCutch.
con. was responding to toast on
Man" at the Athletic club In Chi.
cago. He resumed:
Once, bicycling in Georgia, 1 heard
a terrible hullabaloo In cabin. Yells
and shrieks. sobs and groans-it was
evident that half dozen pickanin-
MES were getting properly whaled. ]
stopped. and eight pickaninnies came
ruefully from the cabin. rubbing ten
derer parts OF their small persons
with the other.
"Then out bounded a little char
with loud, gleeful laughter. and. while
his brothers and sisters wept. he
threw handsprings, cartwheels and
somerssults all over the garden.
"The father of the brood appearing
later. made things clear to me.
"'Yas. sah.' he said. hit wuz Ras
tus' birfday today. sab. an An hadn'
no cash ter buy him muffin, an hi
made me SO mad ter see his III brud
dern an sistern all 1es' as gay rs b
wus dat 5es' natcherly guy 'em al
good trouncin' while Rastus locke.
on. 70 see how pleased he Is. sab
jes as pleased as II yo'd guy him q
cents ter celebrate de day. sahi'"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

D ROvIDENCE. R. Judge C. NJ.
i Lee of the superior court, in the
course OF q separation suit brought
by Elizabeth T. England against her
husband. John E. England, stated that
man is justified in chastising his
spouse II she rides his pockets.
The Englands have been married
about five years. and recently there
has been trouble in the household.
Mrs. England wanted separate sup
port from her husband when she came
into court. She told on the witness
stand that they had thiee children
and had been living happily enough
until short time ago.
One night. she related. Mr. England
arrived at his home on Warren street
about 3 a. M, and proceeded to curl
up on the floor. Mrs. England : adj
mitted that she thought he was asleep
and started to go through his pockets
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16
WHEN THE BARD WAS YOUNG
How Shakespeare Delighted Sir Mar
maduke With HIs Recitation Of
Some ExquIsite Ballads.

Let us hear OF It then, and quick.
IT," cried Sir Marmaduke. putting his
hand kindly upon the boys head. VIII
liam Shakespeare saw ali eyes were
fixed upon him; yet there was a
friendliness IN every aspect which
gave him nought to fear. Standing
where he was. with graceful car
rage OF himself. and a wonderful
pleasant delivery. he presently went
on with the verses.
"Bravely spokeni" exclaimed the
old knight. who had observed and lis.
tened to the boy manifestly with 6
more than ordinary satisfaction In his
benevolent pleasant aspect Never
heard ! aught more properly deliv'
cred"
Nor /, by'r LADY, said Master Pers.
CRIME. in similar excellent humor
Where didst learn this exquisite bal
lad. young sirf"
AN 1t please you. my mother
taught 1t me. replied William Shake
speare.
Hast any more such In thy mem
ory7" inquired the other.
"A score at least. an 1t please you.
answered the boy; most moving onsl
Of the doings Of valiant knights: and
sundry of delicater sort. concern
ing of the love Of fair ladies': besides
which have store of fairy roundelays
that learned of nurse. cicely. which
smack moot sweetly of the daint,
Observation-Disclosures. The Youth O
Shakespeare"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

how to remove boaes from q nsh.S
Conrad insisted sUnd maybe 30
oisty should be glad to learn how to
eat soup through q straw. Perhaps
d.s card Il q boomderans, yesi"
Before could convince Conrad that
my idea, while somewhat cruel, bore
traces Of originality the Rov. Mr..
Macy arrived to take tea with us and
was greeted cordially by the family.
We were all sitting around the YER
anda, discussing the outlook and
chatting pleasantly, everybody with
one ear primed-<or the supper bell.
when Lizzie Joyce, the irrepressible.
put In. an agitatsd appearance. Once
more the lid trimmed with onions and
spaghetti fell. over her left eye and
The grouchy grip kept company with
the freckled parasol.
81 give you my notice. Mem; I'm
leavin' this minute" she said to the
embarrassed eAunt Martha.
whats the matter now. woman.
what's the matter, eh?" asked Uncle
Peter. hungry and irritated.
Before Lizzie could frame come
back Clara ]. stepped in the breach.
whats the matter. Lizzie?" asked
Peaches. soothingly.
Sure. tbs q dream I had last night
that came back to me whilst was
bastin' the chickens" Lizzie answered.
I'm me dream i was kidnapped. and
they's so much political palaverin'
goin' on around here maybe come
truei" S.,
Who'd kidnap you. womanf
sneered Uncle Peter.
well, you never can TELL" Lizzie
answered quietly "They's lot CT
WOODY old miliionaires hanging
around these days tryin' to get their
money well cared for. I'm takin' no
chances"
That was about all for Uncle Peter,
and presently the excitable Lizzie was
led peacefully back to the kitchen by
Clara ]. M
But Lizzie's dream gave me an idea
that took my appetite away.
Copyright by @. W. Dillingham; Coz
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

NJ EW YoRK.-New York within
IN year is to have one Of the most re
markable buildings on earth. II is
designed TO replace Madison Square
Garden, and not the least Of its fea-
lures will be q landing stage for n.y.
ing machines. A $4,000. 600 structure
is to be reared on the site OF the old
Brewster carriage factory on the west
side Of Broadway between Forty-sev-
enth and Forty-Eighth streets. It viii
be used mainly for exhibition pur-
poses and various trades in the sport
ing line. n 7
The Broadway project Is backed by
interests identified with the Schiitz
Brewing company of Milwaukee, rep
resented IN New York by John OH
meis, restauranteur. and Oscar
Schmidt The building WIN be erected
By the Atlas Development company,
which in January of last year took q
long lease on the Brewster site from
the Sutphin estate
The new building is to be adapted
particularly to the needs Of the au'
tomoniie. motor boat and aviation In
dustrses and their allied trades, With
this end in view. certain unusual
structural features have been planned
such AZ a starting and landing track
on the roof for flying machines,
lake so by las feet. also on the roof
| for the display Of motor boats. and an
4 - al a
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

Little Margaret. who is three years
odd. lived for n long time next door
to a family who kept a cat bearing
the name of Billy Then she moved
away from the family. and did not see
the cat again.
Several days ago Margarst's mother
tried to teach her how to spell cat
and dog. After many efforts shc sue
ceeded in getting her daughter to
spell the words after her. and stopped
for the first lesson.
The day following the mother said
suddenly:
Margaret. what does cat spell7'
She did not have to wait for an an
swer. Quick as fash the CHILD
turned toward her.
Billy" she replied
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

Robert Robbins, an enthusiastic
hunter. has commenced the. importa-
ton OF foxes and proposes 20 get them
started on his ranch near here. with
the ultimate intention of getting the
country stocked for the purpose OF
sport Bob says that as the law pre-
vents chasing deer with hounds. he
viii have to have something for his
large pack to do.--Woodland CORE
spondence Seattle PostIntelligencer.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

he ought TO be STATESMAN just be-
cause he have money enough IN HIS
overalls 10 pay his fare to Washing
Ton"
don't know Just where Barney's
political dream finally landed him. for
At this moment delegation OF ward
workers waited upon me. so had to
90 for the checkbook and have &
coughing spell.
~Dis man. Bunch Chefferson, Is
working. working, working to remove
der society wote.- Conrad Puffenlotz.
my lieutenant In the fourth ward. In
formed me.
"rsvs been wise to that gag for some
time. Conrad answered.
~should We gif 4 pink tea or some
ding like lawn feet or 4 monkey din
ner to set society on our side1" In
CURED Conrad earnestly.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16
MOSQUITO CAUSE OF MALARIA
Doctors Remain Immune, While At
tendants Who Slept Outside
Contract Disease.

In the history of research are many
romances. OF the discovery that
malaria was caused by mosquitoes. II
is related how Doctor Low and Doc
tor Sambon lived in the malarious
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16


against Peter Grant for mayor OF
Ruraldeno, had challenged Uncle Pc
ter to Joint debate. The news Of 1t
spread ike wildfre, and It soon be-
came patent that whoever won the
ragchewing contest would also win
the election q
Every morning Uncle Peter would
lock himself up In his library and
prepare verbal gunshot with which to
pepper Uncle William when the night
Of nights arrived.
or course, Uncle William played the
same cards and spent hours daily In
his word factory turning out tart re-
marks with which to sting Uncle
Peter,
The excitement grew apace, and
everybody took sides, from the infant
ln arms up to the octogenarian-
One morning witnessed meeting
between our German grocer's boy
with the Grant button pinned to his
calico shirt and the red-headed kid
who had pinched Uncle Peters first
speech, the latter with the Gray rib
ron tied around his suspender.
What are you wearin' that button
for7 You amt got no VOTE" sneered
Reddy.
~Ohi / don't know" answered
Dutchy, Tn carryin' just about as
rauch steam as you are. Pipe the rag
nn the bracesl What is 1t, the Rus
sian fiag?"
you seem to think old Peter Grant
Is all the eggs, don't your" said Reddy.
We'll, he amt the only pie on the
counter-the flies can get to him, all
right"
IFS that sol" answered Dutchy;-
.you think you're pretty warm wealth
er, don't your" ~ =
~oh. maybe. but amt no gas-stove
like YOU" 49, --------'----..----
We'll, Il don't see yeu dom no
home-ccokin'i"
>. That's because your lamps is
smoky. You want to set somebody to
rub water on. you with hose."
"Uh! you amt the whole church.
you can be crowded." said Dutchy.
''You have swell bunch of come
backs. haven't your" Reddy snapped.
You must've been listenin' to ball
camel"
Il. don't see your license to look
wise" the other answered. Where's
the medal you got for keepin' out OF
the foolish house?"-
I'm SO hot I'd melt It; I've got on
Z freproof underclothes."
what's the matter with water
prooff"
.Donr let that put you on the car.
nm stin able to read the news to you.
al right"
~oh, perhapsl"
Whats the matter; amt you got
no more bum wheezes to pull?" ~
"Oh, frequently! You amt Uganda
---you can be reached In few days'"
.Mebbe, but you amt the only low
collar IN the isundry-you can be
turned DOWN." 49,
Sometimes not by the Chink
b the lookout
Then they went at It, hammer and
tongs. and It took Hank about 1--WE
minutes to separate them.
An hour or so later, as sat on the
.veranda trying to figure out some way
to finish the campaign In a blaze Of
Grant glory, overheard old Barney
Doolin, our stableman. airing his 20
iitical views for Hank the gardeners
benefit.
"The daysire for political PRAYER
=. - - -
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16
HOW TO BEHAVE WITH
ETIQUETTE.
Written by Bunch Jefferson.
(And dedicated to his many friends In
society,"

The author hopes that his many
friends in society win avail them,
selves of this opportunity to become
thoroughly conversant with the prop
er rules Of department as set down
herewith. Jefferson
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

Hsu Ping Cheu. the popular Chinese
consul at San Francisco. discussed at
recent dinner his country's customs.
There is one CUSTOM" said a
young girl. that can't understand
and that is the Chinese custom Of
committing suicide by eating golf leaf
i can't understand how gold leaf can
XIII"
The partaker. no doubt" smiled
the consul, "succumbs from a con-
seriousness of inward gilt"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

Charley. dear" said young Mrs.
Torkins. what did that basebsll play
er say to the umpire who called him
ont1s
He told the umpire he considered
him a perfect gentleman and was sure
that he would 60 to heaven" was the
weary answer.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

Rule I.-When entering Society al
ways walk with feet outstretched.
Rule H-When mingling with So
'ciety always keep the right hand on
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

The American h4irexs can draw roy
alties without the protection Of the
copyright law.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-06-16

Il hear your rich old uncle il dead
Yes, he Is"
What did he leave 2
"A widow we'd asver heard or"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-02-18
AUTO SHOW WILL
START TONIGHT IN
NEWARK ARMORY
Bigger, Grander, More Beautiful
Than Anything of the Kind
Ever Attempted.
BUILDING A w OF
LIGHTS AND BUNTING
Senator Waiter E. Edge Will
Make Opening Address OF
Welcome.

All Of the final details for the fourth
which will open in the big First Regi-
msnt Armory at 8 o'clock tonight, have
practically been completed. Those who
we're afforded a preliminary glance at
the interior of the huge military build
ing yesterday afternoon, after the deco
rators had completed their work, were
bewiidered and surprised at the trans
formation that had been wrought. It
is safe to say that never before has
there been seen suoh a wonderful dis
play of color. and the varied and COM
prehensive collection of cars on the
main floor form fitting jewels for tho
rich setting.
The exhibitors were busy all day yes
terday and this morning bringing In
their cars and placing them in position,
and Manager Bonnell confidently ex-
poets to set a new record for prompt
ness by having everything in readi-
ness at least an hour before the time
set for the opening of the doors.
Cars for Everybody.
There are cars there for everybody.
No less than sixty-six different makes
of machines will be shown, comprising
more than ITS separate and distinct
types or cars There are small run
abouts costing from $3.50 upward for
the man of modest means, or for the
business man who wants a light, quick
car for his work, and then on UP
through the gamut of types to the
p~alatial limousines, listing at seven to
ten thousa nd dollars each, depending
altogether upon the tastes and desires
of the purchaser.
OF course. the medium price car pre-
dominates. There is an abundance of
cars running from 1880 TO 50, 500, in the
touring car and enclosed types. Each
maker shows a different style, although
in the main the cars run very much
alike, 1t is in the little minor details
that there has been a change. And the
wonderful thing. about 1t all is that
Practically every exhibit 10 that Of q
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-02-18

USE STAR WANT ADS.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1911-01-27
Grants Pass, Ore, Jan. 10, 1911
Mr.. H. L. Gilkey,

MI. II. ~. Ollhty,
President Josephine County Irri-
cation and Power Company.
My Dear Sir; AS the agent of The
Chicago-Rogue River company | de-
sire to have your board of directors
consider the irrigation question along
lines where my company will be
given an opportunity Of furnishing
Irrigation by carrying out some prac-
tical plan that can be financed by
our stockholders.
The Chlcago-Rogue River COM
pany now owns more than a major
ity Of all the Golden Drift Mining
company's stock, excepting that
stock standing in the names
Of Ament's family, which is now
involved in the Golden Drift
litigation It is these stockholders
of The Chicago-Rogue River com
pany, formerly Golden Drift Mining
company stockholders, that are furn-
ishing the money for the re-construc-
tion Of the Golden Drift dam, now
under way.
Our large investment and owner
ship in the Golden Drift property Is
our reason for making an additional
investment in that proposition for
It's preservation, and for the same
reason we would like to have the ir-
rigation project started by your
company carried out by some ar
rangement whereby your bitches are
used and the Golden Drift property
can be used to furnish water and
would thus earn a yearly revenue.
It must be apparent to any one
that by the use OF the Golden Drift
Mining company's dam and power
plant and with the use OF the Jose
phine County Irrigation and Power
company's ditches, rights of way
surveys, etc, together with the ex
pendIture Of comparatively small
amount OF money at this time, The
farmers and fruit growers can b'
assured OF irrigation this coming sen
son.
Immediate irrigation can be had II
two ways The first is one whereof!
you will operate the ditches as con
templated In the original contrac
with the Golden Drift Mining com
pany, which the plaintiffs In IN,
(Coninued on Page 81
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1911-01-27
CLUB FAvORS NEW
PUBLICITY PLAN

The seven members Of the Com
mercial club constituting the adver-
tising committee have made arrange
ments with w. B. Wells, representing
the Southern Pacific, to take up the
company's publicity proposition.
The committee put the proposition
up to the board of trustees, and re.
ceived the latter's ratification. O.
s. Blanchard, attorney has been re-
quested to draw up articles Of In
corporation for the Commercial
club, and as soon as the charter Is
received the club will formally en-.
ter into a contract with the South
ern Pacific.
A committee Of four has been ap
pointed to secure subscriptions fol
funds for the publicity work.
The advertising proposition hal
many new features. Besides the reg
ular booklet there will be separat,
bulletins giving detailed descrip
tions Of the chief industries.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1911-01-27
CRESCENT CITY STAGE
HELD UP BY SNOW

Ed Lister, proprietor of the Grants
Pass-Crescent City stage, sent a
telephone message to the Josephine
this morning saying that a gang OF
men were busy clearing away the
snow at Store Corall, to permit the
stage to make its trip to Crescent
City.
From the summit of the Siskiyous
to Crescent City the road leads along
a dangerous precipice and when the
roads are bad the slightest slip may
mean death.
All precautions are taken to in
sure safe travel, and under the sup
ervision Of Mr.. Lister the obstacles
will be shortly removed.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1911-01-27
RAILROAD TO BEAUTIFY PARK

Superintendent L. r. Fields of the
Southern Pacific, T. Y. Younger,
chief engineer, and James Blood, an
other official Of the company, stop
ped over in Grants Pass yesterday In
Mr., Fields private car.
They were interviewed by the park
committee Of the Ladies' Auxiliary
and Mr.. Fields assured the members
that the filling In Of the new park
grounds will be undertaken imme-
diately by his company. He also in.
formed the committee that the ar.
rangements are being made for the
installation of cluster lights from
Sixth street to the new depot.
The matter Of the railroad park
is of great interest to the people OF
this community. AS soon as the
company is through with repairs
steps will be taken by the Ladies'
Auxiliary to make the park one OF
the prettiest grounds in the valley
The frog" pond adjoining the
freight track will be filled in, level.
ed off and converted from an eye.
sore to a beautiful spot.
The work of fixing the park
grounds is only the beginning Of a
campaign to make the city beautiful
and the Ladies' Auxiliary Is assured
Of the cooperation Of every citizen
OF Grants Pass.