davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
SHE HOLDS IT Up TO THE
Mother Of An ObstreperoSity
Loretta's Looking Glass

boyishness of your offspring run to
riot of destructivensss.
Your boy is the imp who has "to
look out Of the window on the car. He
scrapes his dirty boots against an i'm
maculate wash skirt. When the lady
who wears it tries to look pleasant in
stead of as she feels, you translate her
sickly smile as delight at the privilege
OF having her gown ruined by the
obstreperosity. Your boy ought to be
taught to respect white skirts and other
things for which he naturally has little
The Washington times., 1911-08-13

her pretty face. and he kissed her in
the vestibule.
They set down to dinner. First
course, biscuits she twittered, and
devoured the biscuits with his digest
i've apparatus and avidity.
Second course. biscuits" she car
oiled, and Harold, exclaiming, How
novel," devoured seven more.
The third course was biscuits, and
the fourth course was biscuits. 1t was
four-course dinner. and Harold did
justice to each course. For dessert
there were biscuits.
1t was a double funeral, and the pa
pers mentioned the many handsome
floral tributes.
The Washington times., 1911-08-13

, use. But do you teach him? Ask the
lady in the white skirt!
Another of his cute little tricks Is to
want a drink the instant he reaches
any place. The whole circle Of a con-
genial party may be broken up by his
persistent and noisy demands for at
tention. Indeed, as long as the two Of
you are there, he is doing the star role.
you are supporting, and the rest are
playing chorus.
So Cute of Him
Don't go to any trouble" you say
with that meaningless air which says
that any amount of bother will be re-
garded by you as a kind of tribute to
your wonderful accomplishment in
having borne the little beast Then
the watering process becomes 'continu-
Gus. Some one must attend the jour-
neys to the dining room lest the OBJ
streperosity punch a hatpin at the
canary Ito see If he's got bead eyes"
or climb the grandfather clock Ito see
where the strike stays" It's all so cute
of him!
Nobody blames the boy, even If they
do hate him. THEY BLAME YOU for
making an OBSTREPEROSITY of him.
If you knew the anathemas launched
at your inefficient motherhood when
scratched furniture and broken bric-a-
brac offer their silent testimony you
MIGHT reform. I am telling you about
it in the hope that you may see the
folly of your way and comprehend the
awful injustice YOU do your boy. Let
me tell you, you will pay for every up
hooted strawberry plant with a heart
wound; YOU will repent every black
smudge on a white frock with a black
soul. agony, unless you teach your boy
to respect the property of others
The Washington times., 1911-08-13

NH! its worse than being the mother
" of a monster a good deal! A mon
ster is born; an OBSTREPEROS-
ITY is MADE. And you have done the
work. Your boy is one.
You haven't a friend who would not
rather see a cyclone enter the front
gate than behold the advent of you and
your boy. The cyclone comes unat-
tended and does its dirty work and no
hedging or apologies are necessary, no
exchange of courtesies expected from
the man whose roof 1t peels off or whose
hotbed it smashes in. But you come
with the boy. And decency-I mean
the decency of the victim of your visit,
no one ever discovered that the mother
OF an OBSTREPEROSITY bothered
with such impedimenta-deman that
the man who has risen at daybreak
for days in order to get in an hours
work on his strawberry bed before he
goes to the office must make light of
the havoc of the young animal who
yanks the plants up by the roots Just
in boyish exuberance."
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
Most Lasting Impression

A manly eXuberance, in which the
strawberry-raIser might expend the
energy of muscles trained in his
long hoeing of the bed, would be out
of order! You would think him "a
brute" IL he applied his strength
effectively to the part of your sons
anatomy where 1t would make the
most lasting impression. Yet he longs
to do 1t. And he burns with an in
dignation that takes the form of a
dynamic explosion in. the presence
of his wife when you are outside
of the gate. 1t makes him crazy to
see you excusfng the boy for abusing
the property of others. You do not
believe in corporal punishment" But
The Washington times., 1911-08-13

Il don't want a thing. Anybody that
smokes villainous cigarettes can't serve
me-"
And she pokes me her card-she secre-
tary of the anti-cigaretters. 1t took me
half an hour to make her believe that
the cigarette was one of the medicinal
kind that cures colds, and that I'd
rather smoke bomb than vulGah
cigarette. So we got that order, and
she said she might come in again. The
boss was some teeckled.
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
Far From Ii

On their way out to the park one
night this week a couple of middle
aged women inquired of the conductor
as to the nature of the entertainment
in the Casino Theater.
IT'S a play" replied the conductor,
and it's called Her Innocent Hus-
band"
Innocent husband nothing" retorted
the woman, there amt no such
thing
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
FRISKED FROM THE FRENCH

Il have a horror Of the noise an auto
mobile makes"
why is that"
"'Cause my wife eloped in a machine
and I'm always fearing that it's her
coming back"
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
TOO SOON

Friend-NoN wonder Miss Beauti won't
look at you. It's your own fault You
act like a slave-fawning, cring4ng,
kneeling before her, as If you didn't
dare call your. soul your own.
Mr.. Sadfello-Don't women like that
kind of treatment?
Friend-Um-not until after marriage.
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
Changed Her Mind

'Nettie." said the mother of a g.
year-old miss, didn't you hear me tell
you to come into the house half an
hour ago?'
Yes, mamma" answered Nettie.
Then. why did you disobey me?"
asked her mother.
Il didn't disobey you, mamma" re-
piled Nettie. Il merely changed my
mind"
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY

The train pulled up with jerk with
IN yard of the broken bridge.
There" remarked the hearty man
to the only other occupant of the car
riage, bishop, both of us nearly went
to ell that time"-The Pink I'm.
The Washington times., 1911-08-13


d Lying expenses that wasn't absolutely necess1Ty In consequence
ha oo d Dfea and de P ia but y s en % tn sS
uxuries, P'~''' III A''
That Dollar Looked Big
best S % but do sh fRe Kept hs
ways G weR to psHd % it, always 9 pnng S
Saturday morning early early spring Grace went to the little
read em 4o he s Rn5 Us you'd bsfe
mental with the and bananas the
'na' eGS0i"p S1d modn at n2mS So like sor,.
ssstsd the grocer savberss calculated they
Grace Ths 6sof eeous and the berry mfed
srawbr would began dance tanazingy Before Gace
arS" " be bng sfR i"s ons %G5 :e N
parsn s oT5e m "Dse e @ 4F the week No. decided sh with
Additional Exciting Stimulus
All the way nome the vision OF great big delicious strawberry
upon mental horizon Frank % Would haVe feG
had it, said she he wb y no b 9 d oR her, o T we could
time @ hn 2s takes 1s fo"S M s hs SeS Back my I'd dor M @ And lin less
sbony 5 I'll not say anyhn about and them The
The next morning cool Stayed closely at
oD between the nva o' OF OSisSs qes
@ s % the G 2 the %he 5Rs
the berries and away refrigerator 1S got
Narrow Escape
and "S s ts cake 5eK RE 1o@e % s
ben maen % the depths Of the the which Gase had
9uckwitted Frank urryng answer Supposed ring at
placing omestb the table o Frank when pse he a4 %
back Mothers making cake, sang geeulv
Mother indeed echoed to Kitchen and the
pleasant little glow OF happiness radiant
delight as She anticipated the surprise
The Incidental Dinner
Grace began to hum she worked from joyshe
tell when she'd had Finally shortcake and the
Incidental dinner ready Goy the baby
and the boy were all fixed today with all the
best and going have cake pineapple for
dessert oh, herself almost bur sting with
her suppressed gggles OF delight
Finally dinner and the table tremendously cleared
dessert ShOrcake glsped Frank Shortcak
and the baby dnned her enthusiasm with her oh but it's
And good good affirmed happy everything in
general Grace said afternoon DOL
lar buy those Strawberries anything be still
Frank Rogers said Grace pure low
a dollar would buy.
The Day of the Cake
The other night in the neighboy on
the Little Old Lady, casual
national movement which of interest the world
when said Grace Sure said Frank you Why it
the paper the Sunday had that strawberry hortcake Oh
81 remember days that" to the Little Old Lady
when she through "Of She positively so
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
The First Supper;
Or, More Biscuits!

1t was their first day at housekeeping,
and she was preparing the first supper.
She knew how to bake bicuits, but
that was /.
"Oh. good" she cried. TN give
Harold a surprise. Wen have a biscuit
supper"
Harold came home. His wife held up
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
The WaY It Goes

And you say you can't save any
money!" asked the diner.
mo, SIR" replied the waiter.
But what do YOU do with all your
tips?" II
Sure, 1 have to tip the head walter
and the boss to Hold my job
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
. Adventures
-IN=
Married Life
Grace Rogers
And the Dollar
Investment
IN

IE calendar of married life" said the Little Old
Lady, may contain red letter days unknown to the
almanac, and having relation to anniversaries
things like that. The doing of some simple little
thing in the customary routine of living together
result in such feeling of good fellowship and
mutual pleasure that the most ordinary of days
can be so dgnihed above its fellows that it will
serve division to count time by
For instance continued the Little Old Lady,
you take something that happened in the Rogers
house this spring. You know they are still paying
their house. Grace sick in the winter and
they got fearfullY behind. In order 10 catch I'D in
The Washington times., 1911-08-13

mand have coming alive knife heavn job
The hardest of Belle that the deade player kills
the the the bleachers think Of him.
Nobody loves Nobody has nean regard for him
Everything he says is whether it's right not
OF Course They Mustn't Be Brutal
the players punished they far cripple
the life his but the presidents of
leagues accordn the understand from the amt
very hard the be
assault and the universal een against the profession
If breaks umpre leg for instance he amt allowed
play that and fined IS for ben
careful They take consideration, the fact that
perfectly capable of umpirin with leg in
spints.
But player both umpires legs that's
If he does that they take points off his
and bed
month, the player compelled make public apology.
The Washington times., 1911-08-13
Ma m ie
# ELL s.
e | ! e
That Nobody
Loves An
Umpire

.RHAPS you remember what Central Sherman ssA
about war Belle. | wonder what his opinion O
the gentle art of umprin would "a been if the
country had been in the throes O baseball instead
O war?
| always skip the sportin' pages with my eyes
shut, but it seems lately the players and umpres
have taken to fghtn' runnin' duels around the
bases, and the papers have felt it their duty to
put the facts on the front page
Belle l think if it came to a choice O bein'
an umpire and the man that stands perfectly
quiet in the dime while his pardner heaves
knives ar him. I'd pick the museum. | think a
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
COMMISSIONERS Sale.

ADAIR CIRCUIT COURT,
KENTUCKY.
j. H Wilson, Plaintiff,
Mary A. Bryant &c Defendant.
By virture of a Judgment and Order
of Sale of Adair Circuit Court. render
ed at the Sept, Term, thereof, 1911, in
the above cause, | shall proceed to offer
for sale at the Court. house door in Co.
lumbia TO the highest bidder, at Public
Auction, on Monday the 9Th day of
November 1911, at one o'clock p. m, or
therabout (being County Court upon a
credit of six months. the following de-
scribed property, to.wit: Three GER
tain tracts of land lying in Adair and
Metcalfe counties on the Columbia and
Edmonton road the three tracts consti-
tuting one farm The first tract con-
tains 100 acfes, the second tract BIZ
acres more or less, and the third tract
contains about 10 acres. All of said
lanns are fully described by meets and
bond in the judgment and order of sale
recorded in order Bosk No II page 1863
in the Office of the Clerk of the Adair
Circuit Court. to which reference is
made for complete description.
For the purchase price, the purchaser
with approved surety or securities,
must execute Bond, bearing legal in
terest from day of sale until paid, and
having the force and effect of Judg-
ment Bidders will be prepared to
comply promptly with these terms.
w. A. Coffey, Master Comm issioner.
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
Eleventh District.

Clarence J Sipple. the feed man
of London, was here this week on
business. He has been travelling con-
siderably in the mountain counties
lately and says that he has been great
ly surprised to find the large number
of republicans in the Eleventh district
who are going to vote for McCreary
and the entire Democratic ticket this
year. Instead of the republican tick
ct getting the 30. 900 majority from
the III tn district which O'Rear and
his managers are claiming, Mr.. Supple
says it would not surprise him to see
the republican majority in the IL tn
cut down to about the size that Caleb
Powers received in his race for Con
gress, which was scarcely over 10, 600
last year. -Stanford Journal.
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
Pearl Hunting.

People living on Cumberland river,
about Rowena and Greensboro, have
made it quite profitable hunting pearls
during the past two months. The river
has been very low on account of Lock
81, and hundreds of residents have en-
ployed all of their time hunting the
valuables. Mr.. J. 7 G Goldman. who
was here last Thursday, from Rowena,
informed the News that all the mussels
in his locality had been examined, and
many valuable pearls had been found,
some estimated to be worth $500
Pearl hunting has been quite an indus
try on Cumberland river for a num-
Der of years, many persons becoming in
very good fix buying and selling them.
Farmers, who deal in pearls, employ
a large force of men at so much day
to grab mussels, and they go into the
river and bring them out by the boat
load to their employers, who open
th9m 1t is often that a thousand
mussels are opened before a pearl is
found, but when one is discovered they
are amply paid for their labor.
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
Death of Geo. ". Garrison.

The end of life's pilgrimage came :,
Geo. w. Garrison at home near Colum
bia. Oct, Is, 1911 Death came Father
sudden. He was sick only q day so.
Brother Garrison was born and
reared in Adair county. He was near
ing his three score years and ten.
About thirty years ago he was convert
ed, and joined the Methodist church
His devotion to the church was beauti-
full, and his uprightness and integrity
as citizen, won the esteem of all who
knew him. Every one who speaks of
him at all, refers to his excellent Chris.
tian virtues.
He was married to Hecta Ann Nichols.
daughter of Rev Solomon Nicols in
1867. To this union thirteen children
were born, nine of whom survive him.
The grief of the family was intensi-
fed when it was learned that on the
morning of the 18th, the four year OLD
grandson, the son of Andrew Garrison,
of Midtown, died from diptheria
Alas, the young are called, as well as
the old!
Many friends were there at the bur.
ial to pay their last tribute of respect
to one who has lived faithfully among
US. To the bereaved family and friends
we would say; Look unto God who is
able also to glorify. and keep forever
that which we have committed unto
Him God is able to sanctify our
greatest bereavements to our good
He we know only in part, but then
even as we are known.
W w
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
Comrades Attention.

Every charter member of the Column
bia camp of the International Liberty
Union of the world, are most urgently
requested to be present at their Hall
next Saturday morning at 8 o'clock.
the purpose being to perfect the or
ganization of the camp at this place.
A competent comrade, will be present
to conduct the work.
Fred Mclean,
Acting F S
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
DeaJh Of A Good Citizen.

The death Of Mr.. Geo. w Ga rison,
which occurred at his late home one
and half miles east OF ColEm ia, last
Friday about sunset, brought sorrow
[ every one who knew him He was
born and reared 10 the Portland country,
and was one of Adair county's best
citizens, and he will be greatly miss
ed b. family and friends He had re-
sided near Columbia, for quite a num-
Der of years. and was recognized as
an honorable, high-toned gentleman, a
good neighbor and an Industrious farm
er- He vas about sixty five years old
and had been devoted member of the
Method church for number of years.
His death was sudden and a great
shock Wednesday morning he was
taken with cholera morbus, a doctor
called and every means known to medi,
cal science resorted to, but he never
rallied, dying Friday at the hour named
above
He leaves wife and several sons
and daughters who have the sympathy
of every body who knew and who had
the utmost respect for their devoted
father.
The funeral was held Saturday after
noon at the residence at o'clock. con-
Quoted by Rev j. W. Weldon, many
friends being pr sent The interment
was on the farm.
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
A HOME WEDDING.
Miss Mamie Baker TO Wed Mf.
William D. jones, of knox.
Vile, Tennessee,
RELATIVES AND SPECIAL FRIENDS PRESENT

Tomorrow morning at 10 O'Clock, at
the residence Of the intended bride S
father, Judge IL Z. Baker, Miss Mamie
Baker will be married to Mr.. W D
Jones, of Knoxville, Tenn. The bride
will be handsomely gowned in hand
embroidered, lingerie dress. with bridal
veil. and will carry flowers. The
groom will be attired in conventional
black. The ceremony will be beauti-
fully pronounced by Rev. j. R Craw-
ford. pastor of the bride The intend
ed bride will be given away by her
father, and Judge I. A. MurreI will
walk out with the intended groom
The ribbon girls will be little Dorothy
Baker, a niece, of Monticello, and
little Frances Russell. of this place.
The wed ding march will be played by
Mrs. Rollin Hurt.
Immediately after the ceremony the
couple will leave for AshvilIe, North
Carolina. and other points, where they
will spend week, and will be at the
groom's home, Knoxville, Tenn, in
about ten days.
The intended groom is a native of
Adair county, and was a citizen of Co
lumbia, for about ten years. He was
School Superintendent of Adair county
two terms, and was also editor and
publisher of the Columbia Spectator
for several years He is a gentleman
of excellent character, and has many
friends throughout his native county
For the last four years he has been en-
gagged in the real estate business,
Knoxville. and has been quite success
full.
The intended bride is the youngest
daughter of Judge H. C. Baker, and is
one of the best young ladies ever rear
ed in Columbia. She is exceedingly
modest in her demeanor, but at the
same time possessing all the qualities
that go to make up a lovely character
She will be greatly missed in the home
circle ard by the residents Of Columbia
generally.
In testimony of the popularity of
this very deserving and highly esteem
ed couple, they received many valuable
and useful presents
May their journey to their destination
be one of pleasure, their Knoxville
home at all times Astounding in happi-
ness, is the wish of The Adair County
News.
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18

KENTUCKY.
Elizabeth Grissom Plaintiff, \
VS.
Bruce Grissom, Defendant,
By virture of Judgment and Order
of Sale of Adair Circuit Court, render
ed at the Sept Term, thereof, 1911, in
the above cause, l shall proceed to
offer for sale at the Courthouse door
in Columbia to the highest bidder, at
Public Auctio. on Monday the 9th day
of November 1911, at one o'clock p. m. i.
or thereabout (being County Court
upon credit six months the following
described property, to wit: Two tracts
of land lying on Buffers Fork, near
Bliss, in Adair county KY, containing
both together about 1l33 acres. known
as the DR.. W. T. Grissom farm, COM
plete description can be found in order
Book II page 454 in the Office of the
Adair Circuit Court.
For the purchase price. the purchaser
with approved surety must execute
Bond, bearing legal interest from day
of sale until paid. and having the force
and effect of Judgment. Bidders will
be prepared to comply promptly with
these terms.
w. r. Grissom Special Commissioner.
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18

Mr.. G. P. Murphy. highly respect
ed citizen, who resided at Boyle. Casey
county, was accidentally shot and kill
ed at MOreland Station, Saturday of
week before last. Mr.. Murphy, had
gone to Moreland in compony with his
wife on business and was at the Moore
Hotel. A. party of young men from
Harredsburg, was also in the hotel,
matte revolver which he said had just
been presented him by an uncle. In
showing its quick action, it fired, kill
ing Mr.. Murphy. The dead man was
nephew of Mr.. J. A. Wenfery, who
iiSes at Eunice, this County
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
Tupman ...Eubank.

Last Wednesday evening, at Cane
Valley, this county, the Christian
church was we'll filled to witness the
marriage OF Mr.. John L. Tupman to
Miss Minnie Eubank. The building
was handsomely decorated and the
ceremony. pronounced by ED. TT. Will
Jams. beautiful and impressive The
groom is son of Mr.. and Mrs T. T
Tupman. and is a very industrious
farmer. The bride is a daughter of
Mr.. ard Mrs. Ed Eubank, and was one
of Cane Valleys most popular youny
ladies'. The couple received many
handsome presents.
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
Hotel for Sale.

The Hotel known as the Hancock Ho-
tel in Columbia, KY, is for sale. 1t is
located on Burkesville, street in said
town, has % rooms, is comparatively
new; has fine well, two stables, one
used as livery stable and the other as
private stable; the finest garden spot
in Columbia. The hotel is we'll furnish
ed. Will sell all the furniture and ev-
erything connected with it The hotel
enjoys as fine patronage as any hotel
ever run in Columbia For any further
particulars apply to or address,
Junius Hancock,
Columbia, Ky.
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18

1t is generally known that Dr.. w.
McGarvey died suddenly at Lexington
a few days ago. He was known to a
great many Columbians, having visited
here often. He was the most noted
minister Ct the Christion Church in
Kentucky, and his name was familiar
throughout the United States. His
son, Ed. J w. McGarvey, Jr., de-
ceased, mrrried daughter of DIR. u
Taylor, this place.
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
Victim of Typhoid Fever.

Last Sunday morning. about o'clock,
Mr. Tim Collins. son of Mr. and Mrs
T. F. Collins, this place. died at his
late home, near Montpelier, aged 80
years. He was afflicted with typhoid
fever and was confined to his bed five
or six weeks. He was good citizen,
an accommodating neighbor and had
many friends. He leaves a wife and
six or seven children who have the
sympathy of the entire neigborhood.
Funeral services were held Monday and
the interment was in the family bury.
ing ground Peace to his memory.
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
Columbia District, First Round.

Monticello, Meadow Cree k-Oct
14-l5.
West Monticello, Smiths Bottom
Oct. l7-l8.
jamestown, Rowena-Oct. 1870.
Russell Springs, Mt. Pleasant-Oct
Pip
Sparksvllle, Sparksvllle-Oct. 16-27
Renox, Jones' Chapel-Oct 28-29
The new Presiding Elder will be pres
ent at all these services. The Ditrict
Stewards will meet at Columbia, Octo
Der 18th, l0a. m
The Adair County news., 1911-10-18
Is the World Growing Better?

Many things go to prove toat it is. The
way thousands are trying to help others
is proof. Among them is Mrs w. w.
Gould, of Pittsfeld, NH. Finding good
health by taking Electric Bitters, she
now advises other sufferers, everywhere
to take them. "For years | suffered with
stomach and kidney trouble, she writes
Every medicine used failed till took
Electric Bitters. But this great remedy
helped me wonderfully They'll help
any woman. They're the best tonic and
finest liver and kidney remedy that s
made. Try them. You'll see SOC at PAUL
Drug Co.