davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12
Music Lures Mosquitoes.

What effect has music on mosqui-
toes. and what effect have mosquitoes
on burglars are questions that are ag-
1tating Flatbush. Since the recent
rains the residents of that place, Ken
sington, Bath Beach. Borough Park,
and other neighborhoo6s have been
sitting up nights. The only midnight
oil, however, that has been used has
been the oil of citronella. The supply
OF this, like that of screen wire, is run
ming short because of the demand, and
unless there is a change in conditions
the popular form of evening clothes in
the suburbs will be riding boots, rain
coats, and hats with wells.
While resid ents as a rule refuse to
admit there are mosquitoes abroad in
their sections of the land, even when
caught buying punk sticks and apply
ing ammonia to the We1ts that have
been raised. they have during the past
week been willing to admit the truth.
Recent rains that have apparently
assured Manhattan a water supply are
responsible for the pests in Brooklyn
and Queens. The nice privet and box
hedges that make Flatbush a show
place during the dry spell sheltered
the unhappy mosquito and her young.
After the first few days of rain Mrs.
Mosquito led her offspring from the
lawns and tall grass, and pointed out
the various places where there were
easy pickings. Since then the rocking
chair fleets have abandoned the front
porch.
It is this that has given rise to the
question, What effect has music on a
mosquito? The police say and they
know, because they are the only ones
abroad in the land after supper time,
that the house wherein the young
woman with the semi-harmonious.
one-third contralto voice MARBLES 'sA1l
That I Want Is Love" is the section
where most mosquitoes are to be
found, crowding one another off the
front porch Here it is. they say, that
the gentle, inoffensive, well-fed police
dogs take to the street and roll over
because of the pests.
The police point to the fact that in
these sections there are mosquitoes
that are as large as humming birds,
with voices like nightirgales. These,
they say, when the first few notes OF
the piano are waited out through the
screens, yell, Hey, fellows, an accom-
panist!' and from then on they sing
outside the windows while the young
woman skaters the atm osphere inside
Since the mosquito season got into
full swim in Flatbush burglaries have
J almost ceased. The police attribute
/ this to the fact that no respectable
hard working burglar, plying his voca'
ton in these short nights, can worl
safely with a Jimmy or brace and BIT
with one hand. They say he mus
have one hand free to battle with tht
birds of song. Then, too. they say as
soon as the burglar forces his way
| him inside and are upstairs The
burglar, it is pointed out, has nc
chance under the circumstances, be-
cause the family is awakened by the
mosquitoes trying to carry off the
youngest child.-New York American
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12
A Coronation Fqareback.

God Save the King" yelled Law
renee Campbell, an enthusiastic Eng
lishman, who made too much noise to
suit his neighbors in Kelly street.
Patrolman O'Brien heard the Eng
lishman's cry floating over the house
tops, and hurried into Kelly street. He
found Pat McDougan, an anti-tory,
threatening Campbell with silencer
if he didn't allow him and his neigh
bors rest.
Campbell fancied that he was the
victim of an Irish censor, and insiste d
on venting his royalistic feelings.
Again he yelled "God Save the King!"
Patrolman O'Brien pushed his way to
the side of the militant pair, and in
real diplomatic fashion he avoided
trouble by arresting Campbell.
Magistrate Frederick Goettnan, a
Teutonic justice, but a stickler for or
der and peace in Kelly street. was
forced to fine Campbell So. The mag
istrate expressed the hope that Camp
bells disorder would not cause a
breach in the entente cordiale between
Pittsburg and Great Britain.-Pitts-
burg dispatch to the New York Trib-
une.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12
m ROHEMTA

IN BOHEMIA.
For all the glare OF the lights
That seem to leave nothing hidden,
The ancient luminous shadows
Come here, even here, unbidden.
The music is overload,
And the laughter is like to cries,
But the old significant silences
Sometimes conquer and rise.
I sense in these futile revels
The desire of the race,
And an unattainable beauty
On each weary and wanton face.
Here where all folly is loud.
And is spread for all to see,
am ever surely aware
OF wisdom and mystery.
-shaemas o'sheel. in the Papyrus.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12
JOURNAL ENTRIES

With many folk the only time consid-
cred worth while is pastime.
Many men never get their pictures
in the newspapers until they die.
It's only natural that a deep-sea fish
tale should be taken with a little salt.
Some people have the nice knack OF
calling others liars in the way they
say, We'll, I beg your pardon
Nor is it unusual for poison ivy, or
something just as irritating, to take
root at the base of fine family tree.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12
HUNOR OF The DAY

Agent: Could 1 sell you a copy of
this book, "One Hundred Ways of
Winning a Woman?'' Nose Jackson.
All knows two hundred ways mahseIf.
Wot troubles me is getting rid of 'em!
Puck.
De Playwright: I will never submit
to the vulgar demands of modern
commercialism. Mrs. De Playwright:
Reginald. o. Reginald Do not tell
me that you cannot pay the butcher
bill this month.-Milwaukee News.
Mrs. Posey: Mercy. Hiraml Them
awful society women dress like they
was goin' swimmin Mr.. Posey: o.
course, Jerusha. Hain't you heard
th't, in the soshul swim, tn wimmen
try to outstrip each other ?-Milwau-
kee News.
Pedanticus: 1t is one of phyic's
laws that the effect cannot exceed the
cause. Cynicus: Pshaw! I've seen
eight pounds of baby transform $50
pounds of father and mother into driV-
cling idiocy.-Life.
Messenger Boy (to strangely: 1 sup
pose, sir. you are visiting the baron in
hi scastle over there. Stranger:
am; and are you going to the castle.
too? Messenger Boy: Certainly. I'm
taking your telegram telling him you
are coming--Fliegend Blaetter.
Lawyer: Now, sir; you say the bur-
glar, after creeping in through the
front window, began to walk slowly
up the stairs, and yet you did not see
him, although you were standing at
the head of the stairs at the time. May
1 venture to inquire why you did not
see him? Principal Witness; Certain
ly sir The fact is, my wife was in the
way.=Puck.
BrOwly: Is Jones contented ?Town-
~: l should say so. 1 never heard
him complain of the way his child is
taught in school.-Harper's Bazaar.
Mistress: When you leave, 1 shall
want a weeks warning. Bridget: It's
me habit, mum, merely to give a blast
on the auto horn.-Harper' Bazaar.
Gave you ard that old Jim as
stopped smoking?" No" Yes. You
see, 'e's a little near-sighted, and the
other day e emptied his pipe into
gunpowder el."-Tit- Bits.
sociologist: The poor have to live
in dark rooms. Philanthropist: Dark
rooms, Ell? Why don't these people
adapt themselves to their surround
ings and take up photography instead
of sewing Puck.
Doctor, my baby sucks his fist con-
tinually. What is the matter with
him ~ Madame. he has an advanced
case of cheirophagy-" Mercy! What
his fst."-Toiedo Blade
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

When Greek meets Greek nothing
happens that in any way can compare
with conflict between a Quaker and
a Scotchman. So Kansans can tilt
back in their chairs with the knowi-
edge that they will witness a lengthy
and exciting mixup between their gov
ernor and attorney general. But think
of the huge number of fine words that
will be wasted.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12
QUIT QUARRELING.

Fighting and quarreling among
neighbors is a foolish and costly pas
time. You will lose friend or two, a
whole lot of self-respect and a whole
lot more of the respect your acquaint-
ances had for you, and very likely to
have to your discredit 2 long list of
cuss words and fool epithets. If you
come to think about it in nine cases
out of ten, the cause of it all is so
childish that any sensible person must
afterwards blush for shame.-Spring
Hill New Era.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Wheat growers in Kansas should
generally take advantage of the OPP
portunity that the Rock Island is pre-
senting to them to get a little advice
arom the experts of the State Agricul-
fural college on how to increase their
whit yield. The average acre wheat
yield in the state is around IA and Is
bushels. Yet some of the farmers
who have used modern methods of
wheat growing this year-and a year
that was not particularly favorable TO
wheat-have raised as much as fifty
bushels to the acre.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

gressive movement and is opposed to
the dictation of Mr.. AIdrich and MI
Cannon Mr.. Aldrich has nct been IN
the senate for several months and MI
Cannon hasn't been in position 20
do any debating for the same length
of time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12
Full, LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State Journal
away from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
each day to any address at the rate Of
zen cents a week or thirty cents a
month (by mail only. Address
changed as often as desired. While
out OF town the State Journal will be
10 you like daily letter from home
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

state Senator Brady in announcing
his candidacy for the congressional seat
made vacant by the untimely death of
Alex Mitchell, states that he runs on
the platform that was put out by M
Mitchell. Mr.. Brady includes the Mitch
ell platform in his formal announce
nent.. The chief plank in this plat
eorua expresses sympathy with the pro-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
IFron the New York Press

II TIT I1IS- w u \ 7 N755-I
Self-made men can be prouder Of
themselves than their families can.
a man can believe he's a natural
born gardener if he takes the hose and
squirts water on the lawn.
The reason a man can teach his wife
so many practical things is she al
ready knew them and a lot more.
A girl believes everything a man tells
her because it's the easiest way to pre-
pare him to be fooled by her.
What specially annoys a bachelor
about children is the way everybody
expects him to pretend how he likes
them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Scientists should devote their ener-
gies to the isolation of the germ Of
love so that it can not get in its work
on humans until they reach reasonably
mature years. A seventeen-year-o
New Yorker shot and dangerously
wounded his fifteen-year-old sweet
heart because she spurned his atteu-
4ioas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Naturally it was a Boston man Who
has finally figured it out that zone
fly in one summer can produce normal
" 195.312,5O0, 900 100000 descendants"
And it will take another Boston man
or Kansas own Ralph Faxon to tell
Just how many that is. Betting is even
that Faxon could rattle it off in l2o-
man numerals without batting an eye.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Good sleep and plenty of it. as DR..
Crumbine says, is an important factor
IN keeping people healthy and in good
disposition during the warm weather
season. But how to get this sleep
when the nights are sizzlers and the
days are worse is something of a prob
lem that ordinary mortals have found
impossible of solution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

According to the Investigations of the
federal department Of agriculture, the
dry weather has hurt all of the crops
in the country to a greater or less ex-
tent. And it has also hurt the dispo-
sitions Of even the people who have
not crops to worry them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

The Kansas State baseball league has
been disbanded "on account of dry
weather" But it is usually a continued
spell Of wet weather that gives base
ball league a financial pain. However.
all things are usually reversed in good
old Kansas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Is Governor Stubs epistolary cru
sade against Attorney General Dawson
the preIiminaries of suit on the part
of the chief executive to Gust the at
torney general from office for his fail
ure to enforce the prohibitorv law?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Perhaps it would be well that this
rather unseemly controversy which is
waging between Governor Stubs and
Attorney General Dawson should be
charged up to the hot weather.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Literature has been cOmmercialized
to such an extent III this country that
representatives, of the big publishing
houses all over the land are i'll con-
vention assembled at Chicago to pick
new "fall STYLES in readinEn
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Why are those activities of the AUTO
mobilists. designated as Joy rides -
so called? Nearly every one of them
ends in a more or less serious dis
Retar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

The many pugs in the lightweight
class who are chasing Wolgast for a
match must have it figured out that
the losers end of the purses would
come in handy for a little spending
rnanrarr
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12
lRR2 III EnI ~,
EEzEllEE q
NSRZa8$ @2&s9S5&s87

The troubles of young Staltzman may
not be directly traceable to the fact
that they called him "Willie," but.
take it from an old police reporter.
there are more in-bads among the Viii
lies than among the plain Bills.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

When an agent comes to the front
door, and the lady of the house, after
coming. out and saying mot today
backs in through the door with a
wary eye on the caller, it does not fol-
low that she suspects him of trying 20
steal the front walk The chances are
that her dress is open in the back and
she knows it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Principal trouble with Miss Barry
more's Colt seems to be that he won't
stand hitched. However, if the courts
are generous in the matter of alilnony,
she may succeed in breaking him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

When he tried to interview her, Miss
BARRYMORE slammed the door in a e
porter's face This should be a lesson
to every reporter to keen the door In
his face closed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

With the coming of the circus, It is
not out of place to revive that Ques-
ton of the ages: Why is an elephant?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

But it win be held by some that Ethel
should have consulted a veterinary,
rather than a lawyer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12
KANSAS COMMENT


BURBERRY PIE FOR ALL.
There are a lot of people in this
country Who never had enough blue
Derry pie to satisfy them. and for the
reason that the BURBERRY is a wild,
shy thlng that has hitherto defied all
attempts at cultivation. 1t has -four
Ished in places of it's own fantastic Sc
lection and these places are few and
far between.
So did the cranberry for a long
time, but it was pursued and captured.
Hence, cranberry sauce with turkey.
NOW a1ter years of patient work, Bot
anist Coville of the bureau of plant
industry has discovered the secret Of
the burberry and we are going to have
blueberrieS ito burn
The BURBERRY likes acid soil, which
is so poor, from the standpoint of
most other plants, that farmers have
never mad any use for it. But now
acid soil will be sought, and, very
likely, go to a premium. For thou
SANDS OF men and women will go into
oIueperry culture, as they did into the
cranberry business.
Got a piece of Sour" soil on your
place? Write the bureau of plant in
dustry. Washington, D. c., for par
tIculars. And hurry up about it, too.
we want some pie!-Wichita Beacon.
WILL THE CHURCH HELP?
1t is the opinion of a number of
church members as well as others that
if when the heads of the church get
together, and this applies to most of
the Evangelical bodies, they would
spend more time devicing ways and
means to better the conditions of hui
mainly and bring them into the fold,
and less in kicking men out because
of differences of opinion they would
come nearer following the Master
whom they profess to serve. At the
same time they would he doing more
toward building up the churches,
which according to their own statistics
are not prospecting overly much in
some localities, notably most of the
large cities. There are more problems
to be solved today than ever before
and if the church is to continue to be
the great agent for uplifting humanity
that it has been in the past ages it
must put itself in a position to help
solve these great problems. And the
solution is not going to be gained by
disputing over non-essential doctrines.
l-Holton Recorder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

1t doesn't take an expert accountant
to discover that some OF the figures in
a comic opera chorus are padded.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

The college professor who had an
arctic experience in a local cold stor-
age room, could confer a favor upon
humanity by devising some means Of
cracking up his severe chill and dis
tributing it at retail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Pedanticus: 1t is one of phyic's
laws that the effect cannot exceed the
cause. Cynicus: Pshaw! I've seen
eight pounds of baby transform $50
pounds of father and mother into driv-
cling idiocy.-Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Agent: Could 1 sell you a copy of
this book, lone Hundred WAYS Of
Winning a Woman?'' Nose Jackson:
All knows two hundred ways mahself.
Wot troubles me is getting rid of EN-!
Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

WARNING! A sound sleeper should
not utilize the back yard as a sleeping
porch, unless he is provided with Z n
early-risinE alarm clock. There is dan
ger of getting in bad with the Humane
society by shocking the modest little
SparroWS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

De Playwright: I will never submit
TO the vulgar demands of modern
commercialism. Mrs. De PLAYWRIGHT;
Reginald, o. Reginald! DO not tau
me that you cannot pay the butcher
bill this month.-Milwaukee News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Mrs. Posey: Mercy. Hirami Them
awful society women dress like they
was goin' sWimmin' Mr.. Posey: o.
course, Jerusha. Hain't you heard
th't, in the soshul swim, tn wimmen
try to outstrip each other ?-Milwau-
kee News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Messenger Boy (to strangely 1 sup
pose, sir. you are visiting the baron in
hi ScastIe over there. Stranger:
am; and are you going to the castle.
too? Messenger Boy: Certainly. I'm
taking your telegram telling him you
are coming.-Fliegend Blaetter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Browly: Is Jones contented Flown
ly: L should say so. never heard
him complain of the way his child is
taught in school.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

1t is said that Hon. Coburn's books
are read and admired in Russia. In
other words, the popular opinion is
"bullygovich.'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

It was our honest effort to avoid any
unnecessary comment on the weather
today. It is ''hot stuff" but badly ov-
erWcrlxed as a topic of conversation.
Hep
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

TEntered July /, 1876, as second-c1ass
matter at the postoffice at Topeka Kan.s
under the act OF congress.l
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-12

Mistress: When you leave, 1 shall
want a weeks warning. Bridget: It's
me habit, mum, merely to give a blast
on the auto horn.-Harper's Bazaar
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1911-10-28
aThe Cat and the Fiddle

The attraction az the Barre opera
house Wednesday, Nov ] under the di-
rection Of Charles A. Sellon is the pro-
nounced success and beautifully stage
musical extravaganza "The Cat and
the Fiddle" which has scored a series
OF triumphs in all the larger cities
throughout the United States and Can
ada the past four seasons There is
nothing small about this production from
its magniiieently equipped stage Access
series and mechanical effects to the large
and capable company with its we'll
trained beauty chorus While "The Cat
and the Fiddle" IS on the order Of .The
Wizard Of o." THE Top Of the World, =
Babes in the Woods" Mother Goose
in its own peculiar line il stands in a
class by itself. II combines all the at.
tractiyeness Of extravaganza with the
beauties Of the spectacular. It's 10
scenes are maryels Of beauty, illusion,
transformation aud mystifying stage
craft The atmosphere created affords
delight to both old and young, stimuIat-
ing the Imagination Of the latter and re-
calling happy days Of childhood to the
former.
Harry p Watson. whose success has
been most pronounced, heads the. cast
and is ably assisted by most capable
principals.