davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Two Collars on a Doa.

Having bought dog that he admir-
ed. man undertook to buy dog col
lar. The dog had neck nearly as big
as his head. and the dealer advised the
man TO buy two collars.
what for?" said the man. Hes
only got one neck, so | guess he can
get along with only one collar, can't
hep
Maybe So" said the nan, so the
man went away leading the dog by his
new collar and chain. In less than n
week he brought the dog back.
"Im afraid / can't keep him." he
said HE is too obstreperous. | can't
keep him tied up His neck is the big
gest part Of him, and he is as strong
as an OK, therefore it Is a cinch for
him to slip his collar Off"
THAT was why wanted you TO take
two collars" said the dealer. Put
both on and fasten the chain to the
back collar. and he can tug away ali
night without getting loose. He may
commit suicide. but he won't get
loose."-New York Sun.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Tn, Self Sacrifice of Fadzeau

A fine historical dog story is recalled
by Mr.. Edwin Noble in THE Dog Low
1r's Book" The incident Is connected
with the fight of William Wallace to
the mountains after Erneside, accom-
panied by only sixteen followers,
among whom was one named Fad
zeau. When the baying Of the blood
hounds was heard announcing the
coming Of the English FadZeau refused
to 60 any farther. affecting WEAKNESS.
and Wallace, suspecting him Of traitor
Gus intentions, killed him When the
English came up the hounds stayed
upon the dead body and refused TO fol-
low beyond the stains Of blood.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
When a Shin Turns Turtle.

To turn turtle" means, in nautical
language, that ship rolls too heavily,
fails to recover herself and after 4
brief period on her beam ends turns
topsy turvy, so that her keel points
skyward Then, of course, she sinks.
Frequently the compressed air impris-
oned in her hull blows her bottom out
as she goes down. or If she is a steam
er her boilers burst, with like results.
As a rule, ships turn turtle because
they are bur jened with too much top
hamper or from lack of sufficient bal
last, or both causes combined. Rarely
does it happen that there are any sur
vivors, but there is one notable excep-
ton IN the case of the battleship Cap
tain, which was lost after this fashion
in the bay of Biscay. In her case ex-
actly three minutes elapsed from the
time she first turned turtle until she
finally sank. and forty of her crew Of
800 men clambered up her side as she
rolled over and on to her keel. OF
these eighteen men were eventually
rescued and were able to describe later
on precisely what occurred.-Pearson's.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
He Made Them Listen.

~" Beidler, the old vlgilante leader
of Montana, was elected sheriff cf
Lewis and Clark county, in which Hell.
ena is situated During Beidlers
incumbency the jail was rebrilt and
one of the new fashioned steel CAGES
for the prisoners installed. Bcldier
invited all the notables down 10 see
the cage when 1t was completed. The
governor and the state and city Off.
Gals and many prominent citizens ac-
cepted the invitation "X' took them
into a cage and excused himself for a
minute He went out and locked the
door Then he took chair and sat
down outside.
Nov, dern ye," he said to the i'm
prisoned notables, ''ye'vc bin edgin
off lately when ! was tellin' my stories
Of the old days an not listenin' TO em.
Now reckon yen listen"
He kept them there three hours
until he had told his whole budget Of
tales. -Philadelphia Saturday Evening
Post
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02

II has been wisely observed -
most operations can be more emc1enoy
performed by drawing them along
through their proper course than By IT.
tempting to push and jam them
through. just as It Is much easier TO
pull rope than it is to push it. There
are probably not many persons who
have tried to push a rope, but very
many have attempted things almost -
peverse. In many manufacturing e.
Adjustments. for example, there may
be seen numerous examples Of men
wasting a large part Of their energy
sndeavoring to move heavy pieces Of
work upon small trucks, pushing ana
laboring in the exerton of effort. a
small fraction Of which goes to cause
the actual progression. Even when
such an effective aid TO transport as an
industrial railway is installed it Is Of
ten used at less than its proper ED
cheney because there is too much push
ing and not enough ng.-Cassier's
Magazine.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
a Coid Ride.

All through his life Senator Dolliver
of Iowa had horror of fast trains
and possible railroad wrecks. Once he
was on a train with Vice President
Fairbanks.
Dolliver awoke in the middle Of the
night. and II seemed to him that the
train was going at terrific speed. He
climbed out Of his berth and, arrayed
only in his pajamas. started down the
length of the train to find the con
ductor and ask him to order the train
run at less speed. 1t was cold night,
but the senator did not mind that until
the door of his car snapped shut and
locked behind him and he found that
the door Of the next coach was also
locked. He rode sixty-five miles locked
out In the cold of the yestibule before
he could wake up anybody to let him
in Mr.. Fairbanks finally heard his
cries for help and rescued him.-New
York Tribune.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Had to lake His Own Medicine.

George Barr McCutcheon was wait
ing for a train in Chicago, and as he
passed through the station he saw one
of his latest best sellers displayed on
the newsstand counter He picked IL
up, wrote his name on the fly leaf
and handed It to the boy behind the
counter He was moving away when
the boy called excitedly:
''Hey, mister, come back here. You've
got TO buy this book cause you've
spoiled it by writing your name in it"
ayes. but did you see the nameY' the
author asked.
THAT don't make no difference" the
lad insisted: ''uobodyll want TO bny
Ii now"
And. hearing his train called, MI
McCutcheOn was forced to pay real
money for one OF his own books.-Suc
cess Magazine.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Disappointed In Her.

"And so your father refuses to con.
sent 10 our union"
"He does, Rodolphus."
The sad youth swallowed sob.
'Is there nothing left for Us. then,
but an elopementT' said he.
Nothing"
The girl was fond, but firm.
"Do you think, Clementine, that you
could abandon this luxurious home,
forget all the enjoyments of great
wealth, Danish yourself forever from
your devoted parents hearts and go
west with poor young man TO enter
a home Of lifelong poverty and self
denialT'
81 could, Rodolphus."
The sad youth rose YEARLY and
reached for his hat.
"Then," said he, you are far from
being the practical girl have all
along taken you TO be-"
And with one last look around on
the sumptuousness that some day he
had hoped TO share he sobbed and said
farewell. -Browning's Magazine
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Max O,Rell,n ReolY.

Max ORell at n dinner in Montreal
at which were present English. Scotch,
Irish and French was asked 10 give
his opinion Of the different races.
Here is the answer he gave on the in
slant.
"The Scotchman." he said. and he
clinched his right hand tightly and
pretended TO try to force it open with
his left. "The Englishman"- And he
went through the same performance,
opening tho hand at the end after an
apparent struggle. THE Irishman"-
And he held out his hard wide open.
with the palm upward "The French
man And he made a motion with
both hands as II he We're emptying
them on the table.
There was not a word Of eyplana-
ton, but all understood thoroughly and
had hearty laugh.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
The Word CATERS"

Episcopal CATERS cannot date from a
very remote antiquity. The very word
"gaiters" is almost newcomer TO the
language Johnson's Dictionary does
not recognize its existence. 1t does not
occur before 1760. and even in 1902 a
military dictionary had to define 1t as
"a sort of spatterdashes." "Guetre.
however. the French original. goes
back at least to the fifteenth century.
and the origin of that is lost, though
etymologists compare all sorts OF
words in all sorts of languages. includ-
ing an old German word for a baby's
christening cloth. The one certainty is
that CATERS has nothing to do with
gait in spite of the punning line in the
Rejected Addresses'-"Lax in their
CATERS. laxer in their gait. "-London
Standard.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
a Famous English Clock.

Wells cathedral contains one OF the
most Interesting clocks In the whole
world. 1t was constructed by Peter
Lightfoot, monk, in 1920 and en-
braces many devices which testify to
the ancient horologist's ingenuity.
Several celestial and terrestrial bodies
are Incorporated in the interesting
movement and relationship. They in
dictate the hours of the day, the age
of the moon and the position Of the
planets and the tides. When the clock
strikes the hour two companies OF
horsemen fully armed dash out Of
gateways in opposite directions and
charge vigorously. They strike with
their lances MS they pass as many
times as correspond with the number
Of the hour. 4 little distance away.
seated on high perch, is quaint
figure, which Kicks the quarters on
two bells placed beneath his feet and
strikes the hours on a bell. The dial
OF the clock Is divided into twenty
four hours and shows the phases or
the moon and Il map Of the universe. 80
Harper's.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
How to Cool Things.

a newlywed named Jones was talk
ing to his friend Casey the other day
about the heat in his fat and was ask
ing the other for a little advice.
do you know my dining room is
the hottest place in the world?" began
the newlywed. do you know of any
way l might cool it OFF,"
From experience should say that
a very good way to bring about a
change in atmospheric conditions" re-
marked the older married man. 'and
one that is sure to bring results one
way or the other. is to take q friend
home to dinner when your wife isn't
expecting company" - Philadelphia
Times.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
The Automobile.

In some respects the automobile is
the most marvellous machine the world
has yet seen. 1t can 60 anywhere at
any time. floundering through two feet
of snow, ford any stream that isn't
deep enough to drown out the mag
neto, triumph over mud axle deep.
Jump fences and cavort over plowed
ground at fifteen miles an hour II
has been used with brilliant success in
various kinds of hunting. including
coyote coursing on the prairies of Col
orado. where Ii can run all around the
broncho, formerly in favor, since it new
er runs any risk of breaking a leg in
a prairie dog hole. Educated automo-
biles have been trained to shell corn,
saw wood. pump water, churn, plow'
and. in short, do anything required of
them, except figure out where the con-
sumer gets off under the tariff law
Outing.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
The Jerhoa and the Melons.

An odd fact relative to little Afr
can melon is thus related by an Off
cial of Khartum:
The jerboa or kangaroo rat is found
In considerable numbers in places miles
and miles away from any water or
even dew. and was at loss to I'M
derstand bow these little animals could
exist through the ten months OF
drought. 1t appears. however, that
after the scanty rains, small wild
melon of bitter taste. but full of juice.
fourishes in the desert. The jerboa.
as soon as the melon is ripe, bites of
the stem and proceeds to dig away
the sand under the melon. so that 1t
gradually sinks below the level of the
ground. The constant wind soon GOV
ers it with six to eight inches OF sand,
which protects it from the scorching
sun and from drying up. When all
other moisture has evaporated the jer-
boa goes TO his larder and drinks the
Juice of the melon till the rains come
on again. One jerboa will bury as
many as forty of these little melons
TO last him through the dry season
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
outdone.

Teacher-Now, boys, | want to see II
any Of you can make 4 complete sen
tence out of two words, both having
the same sound to the ear.
First Boy can, Miss Smith
Teacher-Very well. Robert. Let Us
hear your sentence.
First Boy-Write right.
Teacher-Very good.
Second Boy-Say, Miss Smith, ! can
beat that. | can make three words of
it-wright. write right
Third Boy (excitedlyl-Gee! Hear
this-wright. write rite right
Teacher thrown off her guard
Whew!-Topeka Journal.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Whnn Riornson Died.

Bjornson's son. in describing the last
hours of his father, writes: Now and
then the bright flame Of his humor
fllckered up The doctor felt his pulse
and said it was good. With his face
beaming with humor he turned toward
us and said. Il am the first man to die
with a good pulse He said one even
ing--and it seemed as If an old wise
man was speaking with the weight or
experience, Now | could write-yes,
now | could write, for ] have been in
the realms of death and have felt the
pain that attends death And when
all of us thought that the indifference
Of death was upon him-my mother.
who always gave him his food, which
he would receive only from her, stood
at the bedside with brooch on her
breast which she had worn at her con-
firmation-then he opened his eyes and
looked at her. He smiled, lifted his
hand and touched the brooch. This
was the last sign to the outer world he
was able to give"
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
His Line.

A charming young member of a wo-
mans literary club, who adds the dis
tinction of being bride to successful
authorship, recently met a gushing
stranger at club reception.
ooh, Mrs. Blank, | am so glad 10
meet you. | enjoy your stories so
much, and your husbands too" Then
adding as an afterthought, He is lit
erary, too. isn't hep
Thank heaven, nor replied the
bride. Hes in the coal business
New York Press.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Necks and LEGS of Animals.

With few exceptions there is mark
ed equality between the length of the
necks and of the legs of both birds and
quadrupeds, and whether they be long
or short is determined chiefly by the
place where the animal must go for
its food This is especially noticeable
In beasts that feed constantly upon
grass, in which case the neck has just
a slight advantage in that 1t cannot
hang perpendicularly down. Croco-
dlles, lizards and fish have practically
no necks. Fowls that feed in the
water also offer an example of this
correspondence between the members,
with the exception Of swans and geese
and some Indian birds, which gather
their food from the bottom Of pools
and must have long necks for that pur-
pose, while the short legs make 1t
more convenient for them to swim
Dietetic and HYGIENE Gazette.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
a Story Pepys Tells,

Pepys tells in his diary that in the
reign of King Charles II. a customer
bargaining with a London merchant
for claret hired confederate to "thun
der (Which he had the art Of doing
upon deal board and to rain and
hail-that is, make the noise of-so rs
to give them a pretense of undervalu-
ing their merchants wines, 10y saying
this thunder would spoil and turn
them, which was so reasonable to the
merchant that he did abate two PTS
tolls per tun for the wine in belief of
that"
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Mioht Be In a Nice Fix.

Two men Of Milwaukee were dis
cussing the case of a person of their
acquaintance whose obituary, it ap-
pears, had been printed by mistake in
one of that city's newspapers.
"Oh, hor' exclaimed one of the Ger
mans. $50 dey hat printed der funeral
notice of a man who is not dead al
ready Veil, now. he'd be in a nice
fix if he vas one of dose beeble vot
believes everything dey sees in der
bapers. "-Harpers Magazine.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Sorry He Asked.

"Have you any special terms for au-
tomobilists?" asked the man in bear
skin and goggles.
"Waal. yes" responded the old toll
gate keeper, whose gate had been bro
ken down by speeding machines.
Sometimes call them deadbeats. an
sometimes call them blamed rascals.
Anything else you want TO know. mis-
ter?"-Chicago News.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
A Good Shot.

A sportsman Of great imaginative
gifts and fond OF telling his exploits
related that at one shot he had
brought down two partrldces and a
hare. HIS explanation was that, al
though he had only hit one partridge,
the bird in falling had clu,cLcd 81
another partridge and brought that 70
earth entangled in its claws.
"But how about the haref" he was
asked.
"Oh," was the calm reply, my gun
kicked and knocked me backward.
and l fell on the hare as It ran past"
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Prooressinu.

81 think Arthur would have proposed
to me last night if you hadn't come in
the room just when you did"
what reason have you for believing
that?"
HE had just taken both of my
hands in his. He had never held more
than one of them at time before"
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
His SUGGESTION.

The great road builder had his mind
on his work that morning. as the fol.
lowing dialogue between him and his
wife will show:
How do look. dear?"
Fairly well, but should say that
your face. needed resurfacing."-New
York Press.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Parsimonx and Economy

Papa" said child. what 10 the
difference between parsimony and
economy"
Il will explain the difference Sy an
example," the father replied. IF I
cut down my own expenses that is
economy. but if cut down your moth
er's then it is parsimony."
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
The Sad Part.

Doesn't it make you sad" exclaimed
the member of the Audubon society,
"to see women wearing on their hats
the feathers of the poor little birds"
1T isn't the feathers that make me
sad" replied the practical married
man. Its their Observation-Disclosures
Record.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
He Beat Her.

A woman said to the railway sta
ton ticket agent angrily:
Look here. sir. I've been standing
before this window twenty-five min
utes!'
The agent. gray, withered little
man. answered gently:
"Ah, madam. I've been standing be-
hind it twenty-five years"
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Wanted II TO Show.

A rich old farmer once had his por-
trait painted. When the portrait was
finished the old farmer looked AT 1t,
shook his head and said to the artist:
every good. Very good, indeed. But
there is one fault that you must rem
edy Please make the right side of
the chest bulge out That IS where
carry my wallet"
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
The Goose Tower.

In the early years Of the fourteenth
century the ''free cities"-Hamburg,
Lubbock and BremeL sent delegation
Of seventy-seven members to King
valdemar to demand increased rights
and privileges in their trade with Den
mark. The delegates were not very
respectful in their language and de-
meanor. and the king. who was at
Vordingborg. told them they acted like
drove of geese and clapped them
into prison In the tower. telling them
they would stay there until they learn.
ed better manners. Over the heavy
tower door the king put up a stone
with the inscription:
Sieben und siebenteg Hause:
Sleben und siebenteg Ganse.
Ware nicht so viele Hause
Hat ich auch NIGHT so viele Ganse.
Translated this reads: Seventy
seven houses and seventy-seven geese,
If there were not so many houses
would not have so many geese"
On top of the tower. which still
stands solid and strong. was placed a
big gilt goose. with neck outstretched
as If II were Kissing.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
An Old Christmas Law.

The general court of Massachusetts
Bay Colony, following the example Of
the English parliament, in 1859 enact
ed a law that anybody who is found
observing, by abstinence from labor,
feasting or any other way, any such
day as Christmas day shall pay for ev-
cry such offense shillings." This law
was repealed in 1851.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
a Minhtv lifference.

Brougham used to tell an anecdote
about the flight from Waterloo. Ma
poleon was greatly depressed. His aid
riding beside him thought he might be
sorrowing over the loss of so many old
comrades at arms and tried to comfort
him by saying that Wellington also
must have lost many friends. He has
not lost the BATTLE" was the reEly.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Wide Hats In 1898.

An artist has advertised that he
makes up wornout umbrellas into
fashionable gypsy bonnets. The tran
sition is so easy that he is scarce to
be praised for the Observation-Disclosures
Times, July z, 1898.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
II Got Warmer.

Little Willie-Say, pa, doesn't it get
colder when the thermometer falls?
Pa-Yes, my son. Little Willie-Well,
ours has fallen. Pa-How far? Little
Willie-About five feet, and when 1t
struck the hall floor II broke"
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
The Worst to Come.

do you think we have heard the
worst Of the diseords in our party?'
"Not yet" replied the musical man
"Just wait till our glee club gets 10
practicing Exchange.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
lJtteriv Useless.

.Pa, what is a futile remark"
"The one a man makes for the pur-
pose of changing the subject when his
wife complains because he has for
gotten their wedding anniversary
Chicago Record Herald.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
She Was Wise.

81 asked Miss jumps to sing some
thing, and she refused point blank. Is
she grouchy;"
mo. She's trying to make a hit
with you. Cheer up."-Toledo Blade.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Collected Some Alimony Also.

She-This is Maud's third husband,
and they all bore the name of William.
He-You don't say so, Why. the wo-
man is a regular Bin collector.-New
York Times.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Solid Goods.

"What became of that cake baked
Cor you?" demanded the flancee.
81 sent it downtown to have my
monogram engraved on it." replied the
fiance.-Kansas City Journal.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
We'll Off.

Fred-l proposed to Miss Dingley
last night. Joe-DOn't believe | know
her. Is she wei off, Fred-Yes.
guess 50. She refused me.-Stray
Stories
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Evolution.

Brown-Do you believe 10 the theory
Of evolution? Black-Sure thing. For
six years young fellow named Jones
has been calling on my daughter, and
today she became Mrs. Jones.-Judge.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
On the Trail.

"I'm cunning FOR railroads." an
nounced the trust buster.
"Then come with me-" whispered the
near humorist. '1-can show you some
of the tracks" -Brooklyn Life.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
Similar Tastes,

Bacon-Have you and your wife sim
liar tastes? Egbert-I think so. |
don't believe she likes her cooking
either.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
The Only Kind

Ella-Did you get a plain view Of
Miss Luglie? Emma-Certainly. That
was the only kind could get-Ex-
change.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02

II Is a great evil as well as a mis-
fortune to be unable TO utter prompt
and decided no.-Simmons.
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
A Sound Reason.

Mistress-Didn't you hear me calling,
Jane? Jane-Yes'm, but you told me
the other day never to answer YOU
back.-Throne and Country
The Bryan eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1880-1913, 1911-03-02
He Mas Immune.

Howell = Her laugh is contagious
Powell-Well, l was In nc. danger Of
catching 1t. She was laughing at me
New York Press.