The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-05-12
Odd Happenings That HeIpad TO
ii Spice the Meals.
THE WORM THAT DIDN'T TURN
Il Spoiled Funny Story For No-
man Whose Pat Horror 10 anything
That vtrigsIes--A DistractsI ca4an-
fist and Gastronomic Calamity. \

tist and Gastronomic Calamity. X
At u dinner party one nigh, my host
and | We're in the midst VI AL iniete>l-
ing conversation when noticed a
which lay under II pot VI growing
tulips. The lace was pushed aside nnd
straight toward me wriggled FIJI red
earthworm. IL have pet horror It
Is for anything that writhes My host
was nearing the point Of II funny story
when | caught sight OF that strange
intruder on Il dining table. He reach.
ed the end Of the story and laughed.
believe laughed. but to this day
cannot tell what that story WIS about
sat watching the gymnastics Of that
lively specimen OF fish bait In forty
seconds 1t was due to tumble into my
lap. There was no walter near The
reptile was hidden from my host by u
soup plate. The man at my right was
absorbed In conversation with WON.
an beside him. The worm hud almost
reached the edge OF the table when I
had an inspiration. turned red
winegtnss upside down. for the waiter
was approaching with napkin wrap
ped bottle
"Have you turned White RibbonerT'
asked my host.
For tonight | have" Where my
voice came from do not know; neither
do know how | ever sat ont that
meal listening TO host who tried his
level best to entertain dull guest
ana watching a frantic tishworm try
to break its way out of jail. Some
how growing plants on the diuiug
table have gone out Of favor ~ our
| house
A dear distracted old scientist
know keeps his wife on the anxious
Sent every moment when they dine
out She Is prepared for any ridiru-
lous thing he will do. No one ever
Possessed finer breeding or gpntier
manners than the good old professor.
but his fits Of abstraction are likely to
descend on him ut any moment His
wife tells Of one notable experience.
'One night. she. says. y lettured
John all the way home from u dinner
was trying to make him understand
that pate shells were Intended 10 be
eaten. II 1t had been caterers
meal should have thought nothing
about II. but our hostess was d fine
cook. and she had just announced
proudly that we Were having some of
her own puff paste. Everybody ate
the pates except John. With the
greatest care he .scooped out the
creatned chicken and left the shell
He was horribly distressed oser II.
III had only known, my dear. he
said. that the thing was Intended to
be eaten. that II was really foud and
she made 1t. | should have shown my
appreciation H..
Remember 1t next time. then
said.
"a week later at another dinner
John was seated opposite me. I
glanced nj him curionsiy after the
dessert came on. for he seemed to be-
In the fhroes of choking III, imag
Inc. II you eau. my horror. He was
trying to masticate the paper case OF
q charlotte russo. There was only
one thing could do--calL him 70 order
as one would have done Child, l
could hot Ait by calmly anf watch him
choke 10 death. Dinners are freqdrnt
ly stupid affairs. bur thar one Wi. NOT
after 1 had explained the SITUATION 70
q tablefuI OF people Fortunately John
Ii SO brilliant that his absentuiinded,
ness Is considered natural adjunct
to genius"
my husband" said one womun IA
the funny man at party when the
mood happens to seize him. One night
after playing bridge we fled out to tho
dining room. where We were seated
about the table for supper. From
the corner where my husband sat
came gales Of laughter He had turn.
ed conJurer and was making every.
thing disappear, from salt spoons "a d
water decantsf. When things were
found it was insthe most remarkable
places
"A week Later swhile searching hts
clothes for soilsd handkerchiefs that
Is a regulation Monday morning task
In our home-I heard something rattle
In his dress coak From an inside
pocket drew. two silver forks. three
teaspoons and q salt spoon. They
were marked With various Initials.
None Of the stun came from our side
board. Ny husband was out Of town.
and spent few pefplexpd hours. a
idea suddenly dawned on me. ! wrap
ped up the silver, put on my hat and
went straight to tho hostess Of our last
card party. THINK goodnesst she
cried II have n4ariy had hervous
proetration over ne liav y Of X these