The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1911-12-12
(~Rhamkatte Roaster.)

III IAfldUlkdttc.
(Rhamkatte Roaster.)
The Hon. Francis d. Winston kin
rede his titles clar to oratory and ter
KNOWN the law and SWIRL other
things, and if he would stick to
last when he goes down to Rolly he
would git long very we'll, but when
he goes to Rolly and undertakes to
tell Jo-see-fOr-uS Daniels, the agrlcul-
tural editor of the Rhamkatte Roast
er, how to make persinmOn beer,
GuHner Winston displays his lgnef-
unce in seventeen languages. He had
hardly struck the town iv Rolly the
other night afore he Civ out q inter
view a~-ridiculiAg JO-See-fOr-us for
saying that the time of the year has
arrlV' fer brewing 'sim1non beer
Whereupon he perceeded ter say that
you don't brew 'simmOn beer, nohoW,
you make perSimmOn beer or you set
up q barrel of persimmOn beer, but
you don't brew it, If Gunner VIM
Ston had read WibSter'S Dictionary
afore he jump'd inter the print, he
wuddent have made that mistake, for
Whistler defines brew to mean to
make liquorsf rom malt or other ma
t~erials" and Junk and Wagnalfs
Standard Dictionary says it means 10
make ale, beer or the like, to be in
~ VI VI
to mix or Steep and defines breWer
age to mean a drink prepared by
brewing or mixing a c~OncOcted beVer-
age and not sateried with eXposln
his ignerunce as to the word brew
ing" Gunner Winston proceeds to tell
how to make 'SimmOn beer and If ever
~innybOdy in North Caliny should make
SimmOn beer after the directions gin
by this Berthe man, he Wuddent know
what rale persimmon beer tasted like.
For example, he begun by saying:
sect you q 'lasses barrel and scald it
out with hot water"
Stop right thar, as Judge Cloud
woul say. No rale 'SimmOn beer
maker would ever seal out his 'lasses
barrel. He would go to the grocery
store and git him a lasses barrel in
which the strippin's of 'lasses was left
on the sides and he would eve scald
out that 'Iasses. To show what a
foolish thing it is to scald out a 'lasses
barrel, after giving his methud Of
maxim 'simmon beer, Gunner Win
ston sed, sed he thet eff you like,
o kin add a quart of black 'lasses
at fUst." Now would it not be a piece
Of folly to seal the 'lasses out er the
air sticking to it's sides and thin go
and pore a quart of 'lasses in the
beer.
We wuz down in Rolly yistiddy and
went down to the Nuisance DiSturber'S
office to see if Mr.. Jo-see-for-us Dam
iels had survived the ridicule
which Gunner Winston had heaped
upon him, a-ridiculing him about his
noledge of farmin' and OF making
'simmon beer. We struck it just at
the right time. The editor wus not
in his office, and when we aXed the
clerk Whar we could find Jo-see-for-
us. he sed, sed he, why don't you
know this here is the 4th day Of De-
cember?"
"Yis,' sed we, we sed, "but what
has hat got to do with it?"
WALL" the clerk sed, didn't you
know that on the 4th of every De-
cember for f~orty-nine years the editor
of the Nuisance DiSturber has devoted
that day to brewing persirnmon beer
for the winter, and if you want to see
him you will har' to so to his houze
on the idge Of Rhamkatte, for jist
now he is a-busy of making of per
simmon beer. So we hurried down
than and shore enough har he was
with his 'lasses barul. in which black
'lasses was hanging to the sides and
he was busy a-puttin' in the ingra-
dientS to make what Funk and Wag-
nails D~ickShunary seq is "a c~oncocted
beverage" I aNed him how he made
persimmon beer and he said, says he,
Just you watch here and sees how /
makes it and thin you will know the
only reli'b@e and riglar way, which is
the way it has been made in Rham-
katie ever since CORVALLIS army
passed through the high road"
Well, he fust tuck the 'lasses barul
and put good clean rocks in it just
Whar the faucet is a-going to be and