davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
lust BEFORE THE TROUBLE
How Could the Listener Know What
His Friend Was Trying
to Say2

If any man ever admired his wife,
that man was Howler. And when the
F~tzboodles asked Mrs. Howler to get
up and sing, There is a Garden in
My Face" the husband glowed with
pride.
No matter that she had a face like
a hippopotamus and a voice like an
elephant, he sat beaming as she sang,
and could not refrain from bending
over to his neighbor and whispering:
Don't you think my wife's got a fine
voice."
"What?" said his neighbor. who
was a little deaf.
Don't you think my wife's got q
fine v%oice?" repeated Howler.
"What?"
Don't you think my wife's got q
fine voice?' roared Howler.
Sorry" returned the neighbor
shaking his head, Cant hear a wore
you say. That awful woman ovel
there is making such a frightful row
singing"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

over the crupper, handed the stations
reins to the sowar, who had dismount-
ed and drawn near and dropped to his
feet.
Naraini nodded to the sowar, who
led the animal away. When he was
out of earshot the woman leaned from
the saddle, her glorious eyes to Am
ber's. "My king!" she breathed in
tensely.
But the thought Of Sophia Farrell
and what she might be suffering at
that very moment was uppermost-
obtruded itself like a wall between
himself and the woman.
Goodnight, my DEAR" he said anna
bly,; and, turning, made of toward the
foot of the causeway.
When he had gained 1t, he looked
back to see her riding off at a wide
angle fram the causeway, heading out
into the plain. When he looked again,
some two or three minutes later. Ma
raini, the sowar, and the horses had
vanished as completely as If the earth
had opened to receive them. He
rubbed his eyes, stared and gave 1t
up.
SO he was alone! With a
shrug, he plodded on.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

stsueture. strong enough to sustain q
troop OF warriors but light enough to
be easily drawn up, had extended
scross the chasm, rendering the city
i~mpregnable from capture by assault
r. SO, It had long since been replaced
by an airy and well-ventilated lattice
work of boards and timbers. none Of
which seemed to the wary eye any too
sound. Amber selected the most solid
looking of the lot and gingerly ad-
vanced o pace or two along It. With
a soft cracking a portion OF TIE tim
Der crumbled to dust beneath his feet.
He retreated hastily to the causeway,
and swore, and noticed that the Eye
was watching him with malevolent in
terest, and swore some more. En-
tirely on impulse he heaved a bit of
rock, possibly twenty pounds in
weight, to the middle Of the structure.
There followed a splintering crash
and the contraption dissolved like a
nfugiclantern effect, leaving a solitary
beam about a foot in width and six
or eight inches thick, spanning g
fight of twenty and a drop Of sixty
feet. The river received the rubbish
with several successive splashes, dis
tinctly d~isconcerting, and Amber sal
down on a boulder to think 1t over.
Clever invention" he unused
"one'd think that, after taking all thi'
trouble to get me here, they'd changed
their minds about wanting me. w
a notion to change mine"
There seemed to be no possibility
Of turning back at that stage, how
ever. Kuttarpur was rather far away
and, moreover, he doubted if he woulc
be permitted to return. Having come
thus far, he must go on. Moreover
Sophia Farrell was on the other sid
Of that Swordwide bridge, and sucl
being the case, cross 1t he woult
though he were to find the next worl'
at it's end. Finally he considered tina
he was presently to undergo an ordea
Of some unknown nature, probably 81
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
Death Bad Jest.

Among what may be called death
bed jests, that of the Rev. James Guth-
ries of Stirling, one of the Covenanter
martyrs, deserves a high place. Lord
Guthries recalls the story in From a
Northern Window" Mr.. Guthries was
executed at the Cross in the High
street, Edinburgh. The night before
he asked for cheese for supper. His
friends wondered, for the physicians
had forbidden him to eat cheese. But
he said, with a smile, Il am now be-
yond the hazard of all earthly dis
Eases Uncle Remus' Magazine,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

L Naraini," he returned IN English: Q
tongue which seemed somehow better
suited for service in combating the e.
oteric Influences at work upon his
mind. Whats the next turn On the
programf"
Il like not that tone, MOI yet that
tongue" The woman shivered. Even
as the Eye seeth. my lord. 30 doth
the Ear hear. Ia 1t meet and wise to
speak with levity of that In whose
power thou shalt shortly ber"
Perhaps not" he admitted, thought
fully. Sin whose power l shall short.
ly be- Well, of 'coursei"
"And thou wilt go on? Thou art
not mind to withdraw thy hand?"
Not so that you'd notice it, Ma
raini."
For the sake Of the reward Ma
raini offers thee?" she persisted dan
g~erously.
Il don't mind telling you that you'd
turn most any mans head, my DEAR
he said, cheerfully, and let her inter
pref the words as she pleased.
She was not pleased, for her &C
quaintance with English was more in
timate than she had chosen to admit
but If she felt any chagrin she dis
simulated with her never-failing art
"Then bid me farewell, o my soul
and go!"
"Up there?" he inquired, lifting hi
hrows.
AYE, up the causeway and over thu
bridge, into the city of death"
"Alone?"
"Aye, alone and afoot, my king"
pleasant prospect, thanks" Am
Der whistled, a trified dashed. "An,
then, when ! get up there-?"
zone will meet thee. Go with him
fearing naught,"
"And what will you do, meanwhile?
when thou shalt have passed tn
Gateway, my lord, Naraini will b
waiting for thee"
VERY we'll" Amber threw a lie
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
Tree Destroyers.

Porcupines are good climbers, and
when unable to get enough apples
wind-blown to the ground, swarm a
tree and cut down the finest bearing
limbs as quickly and neatly as a beav'
er can sever the trunk of a young
hemlock. Besides that, when other
food is scarce they nibble the bark
off young apple trees. and can destroy
a newly planted orchard in a short
time. They also are a great enemy to
the young spruce, but why they cut
them is a mystery, as it is not found
that they even eat the tenderest
shoots.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

tremely unpleasant, and that this mat
ter Of the vanishing bridge must have
been arranged in order to put him in
a properly subdued and tractable
frame of mind.
He got up and tested the remaining
girder with circumspection and in
credulity; but 1t seemed firm enough,
solidly embedded in the stonework Of
the causeway and immovable at the
city end. So he straddled 1t and,
ayerting his eyes from the scenery be-
meath him, hitched ingloriously across,
collecting splinters and a very dis
tinct impression that, as a vocation,
knight-errantry was not without its
drawbacks.
When again he stood on his feet he
was in the shadow Of the outer gate
way, the curtain Of the second wall
confronting him.
Casting about, he discovered the sec
ond gateway at some distance to the
left, and started toward it, forcing a
way through a tangle Of scrubby I'M
dergrowth, weeds and thorny acacia,
but had taken few steps ere a heavy
splash in the river below brought him
up standing, with a humping heart.
After an i%rresolute moment he turned
back to see for himself, and found his
apprehension only too we'll grounded;
the swordwide bridge was gone, dis
placed by an agency which had been
prompt to seek cover-though he con
fessed himself unable to suggest
where that cover had been found.
He gave it UP, considering that II
were futile to badger his wits for the
how and the wherefore. The impor'
tant fact remained that he was a prls
oner in dead Kathiapur, his retreat
cut off, and Here he made a sec
ond discovery, infinitely more shock
ing: his pistol was gone.
Turning back at length, he made his
way to the second gateway and from
it to the third, under the lewdly
sculptured arch Of which he stopped
and gaspe1, forgetting as for the frs
time Kathiapur the Fallen was re
vealed To him In the awful beauty 81
its naSef desolation.
4 A w,dN and stately avAnu~ nxrnGnnAt
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
lnsuIted.

A strapping German with big beads
of perspiration streaming down his
face was darting in and out of the
aisles of a Philadelphia department
store.
His excited actions attracted the at
tention of all ~salespersons, and they
hardly knew what to make OF it. A
hustling young man Of the clothing
department walked up to him and
asked, Are you looking for something
in mems %clothing?"
mol" he reared; mot mems cloth
ing; vimen's clothing. can't find my
wife!"-Lippincott's.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
Proved.

There's no question about it." said
Scribbleigh. England is the place
for an author to live in who wishes to
write perfect English. We become
merely the expression of our envir-
onment, after all, and l wish to do my
work in an atmospnre in which the
language | use for the expression OF
my ideas is spoken in all its prestine
purity. Do you not agree with me
Lord Miggieton?"
by Jowve, you're bally right, ole
top!" replied his lordship.-Harper'E
! Weekly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
CHAPTER XVIII.
The Hooded Death.

TIC T1UUuCu 6CdtIs .
The causeway down which the
horsemen of forgotten kings of Khan
dawar had clattered forth to war, in
its age-old desuetude had come to de-
cay. Between its great paving blocks
grass sprouted, and here and there
creepers and even trees had taken
root and in the slow immutable proc
ess of their growth had displaced con
siderable masses of stone; SO that
there were pitfalls to be avoided.
Otherwise a litter of rubble made the
walking anything but good. Amber
picked his way with caution, grumb-
ling.
After some th~ree-quarters Of an
hour of hard climbing he came to the
wooden bridge, and halted, surveying
1t with mistrust. Doubtless in the old
en- zine q substantial but movable
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

I'm getting the hot coat off this
poor little pup. He's In misery an.
swered the congressman, in his quiet
way.
Since that day Mckinley has had a
shadow in the shape Of a small mon
grel that any dog fancier would cast
outside the pale Of classified CANNES"
-Leslie's.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

The old rope is stretched longitudinal.
ly around the timber, the ends being
held fast between the roof and the
top Of the cap piece SO they cannot
slip When a timber starts to bend
under the weight OF the roof part Of
the tension is taken up by the wire
cable. enabling a miner to put in adj.
ditional supports before a fall occurs.
The ends Of the cap pieces are tapered
and grooved deep enough to receive,
the rope and prevent any part Of 1t
projecting beyond the bearing ends
Of the timber pieces.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
Sheared Puppy's Hot Coat

zone hot day" says a mar associa-
ted with MI. Mckinley in business,
I'VE were at work in the office when
n little dog came ~sneaking In to escape
the, misery Of blistering sidewalks. A
worse specimen Or tatterdemalion dog
never saw 1t was mud-stained and
owned a bushy, unkempt coat that
made hot weather a horror to H Its
ears were ragged. and there was a
hunted, homeless look in Its pathetic
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

eyes. 1t turned these pathetic eyes on
Mckinley. who was trying to catch UP
with a nard days work. In a few min.
utes he laid down his pen. left the
room and returned with a bowlful OF
water, / was called away. When
came back | found the congressman
with a newspaper spread over his
knees. and upon It stood that dog. A
pair Of scissors which had cut off mil
lions Of dollars In coupons was shear
Ing away at the ragged coat Of the
wretched little beast.
What are YOU doIng2 | asked.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
Distinction

Senator Lotsmaun-Who is this
McCrumkerson that want a consul
ship, and what claim has he on me
for a political job?
Private Secretary-He says he's the
only man who hasn't been mentioned
as a candidate for governor of ILL
nois.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
story About William 8, Mckinley
THAT Reveals the Wealthy Con
aressman's Kindly Heart.

Although William p Mckinley Of
Illinois Is almost the wealthiest mem
Der Id congress. he Is n Of the quiet
est and most u~nassuming Of men.
Those who know him at close range
tell many q story o. his kindly heart
and generous nature.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
Wants Longer Nlahts.

Have you Joined the More Dayiigha
club?" he asked.
Il should a not. It's ali l IAN dc
now to get home before daylight" no
piled the old rennder-Detsoit Srss
Psusa-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

The Venus of Milo explaind her
missing arms.
81 tried to get the tan off" she saiGi.
Herewith she rejoiced she hadn't
used the same method on her neck
Harper's Bazaar.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

First Suffragette - Do you think
Miss Lazybones will carry her dis
trict?
Second Suffragette-Not if she al
get a porter to carry it.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
Mad About II.

"Binks is Just crazy about being up
to-date."
How does he show it?"
He is trying to get his parrot a
wireless cage"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

"A wife," says the sage brush sage,
has to have a lot more patience to
let the cat in and out than she has for
her husband, because if she didn't the
cat would leave"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16
SqueIched.

Gerald-What do you think Of this
recall idea?
Geraldine-One call will be enough,
thank you.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

Good Use for Old Wire Rope.
Old wire rope Is used In certain
French mines for reinforcing old tim
bers. especially the cap pieces Of acts.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-11-16

Little Wallace-Pa, why does pop.
corn pop?
His Pa-Because, my son, like men,
1t doesn't know any better.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-10-18
Sherih's Notice.
To All Whom 1t May Concern

To All Whom 1t May Concern:
Yon will take notice that | will,
IN the 10th and 18th days of Octo-
Der, 1911, be at the City Hall, Ken
ova, and on the 18th and 10Th days
OF October, 1911, be at the Ceredo
Bank, in the Independent District
of Ceredo, for the purpose of re-
ceiving taxes due by the people re-
siding or paying taxes in said dis.
trict, and that / will make a dis.
count of two and one~half per cent.
TO all such persons as shall pay their
taxes on or before the last day OF
November, 1911, and not otherwise.
After January /. 1912, 10 per
cent. interest will be charged on all
taxes not paid before that time.
SAM j. CRUM.
Sheriff Wayne Co, w. Va.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-10-18
FATAL STABBING
Archie PyleS Killed by
Richard Saunders at
Whites Creek.

On Sunday, the Sth inst, two
young men whose names are Civ.
en- above, became involved in a
fight on Whites creek, this county.
Now one of them is dead and the
other is fugitive from Justice.
The Big Sandy News gives an ac
count of the unfortunate affair as
follows:
"Archie pyles and boy named
Saunders, with three or four
companions. had been playing
boxing and wrestling-for about
an hour. After firing of these
exercises. they turned their at
tention to gathering hickory
nuts, and dispute arose as to
the division. A slight quarrel re.
suited and one of the party told
Pyles and Saunders they were
not men If they didn't fight it out,
and succeeded in getting the two
boys together. The Saunders bow
struck Pyles in the breast aud at
the same time used a knife with
his right hand, cutting three
gashes nnder the left arm and one
IN the left breast. DR.. Garrett,
who was summoned said either OF
The cuts would have proved fatal.
1t was not noticed that the
s: u AdAr. hoy was ss..s a kuns
until he was IN tie act of putting
1T IN his pocket, when it was seen
to be bloody. Then other bows
said, oh, Archie, he has cut YOU
Archie said, Has he? Get my hat
and take me home But he died
before his companions got him
half way there. The sad affair
occurred about hundred yards
from his home. Fy ca was IS
years cd. Saunders Is II years of
age and has not been arrested d.
He disappeared Immediately after
the killing.
Archie's Sunday school teacher
says he was a good boy. He was
industrious, obedient and liked
by every body.
The funeral was held at the
home place and was largely at.
tended"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-10-18
Nj. T.. Appointments.

The. following are the appoint
ments for Huntington district:
q. w. Bent, Supt /; Acme, w.
w. Workman; Ceredo, III. F..
Newell; Crumpler, w. +. Hampton;
Fairfield, @. +. Richardson; Fort
Gay, w. M. Copley; Glenwood, j
A. Perry: Handley, A. M. Grimes;
Hamliu, +. +. Connolly; Hender-
son, X. ii. Skaggs; West Hamlin,
ID. X. Johnston; Hewitt, III. O..
Dunbar; Huntington, First church,
A. j. Hiatt; Huntington, Eleventh
avenue, X. @. Backus.
Huntington, West, o. NJ. Pull
len; Huntington, Guyandotte, p.
Y. DeBolt Huntington Circuit, +
j. Heller; Leon, w Gearhart
Logan, J. ID. Dlckey; Logan cir
cult, w. III. Hicks.
Matewan, b. II. Evans; Milton
and Hurricane, g. f. Gordon
Peyton, VIM. Ray bould; Pineville,
J.. w. Hite; Pt. Pleasant, j. II.
Funk; Red House, g. j. Barber;
Rich, A. J. Harvey; Ruth, II a.
Barlow; Wayne, fl. 5. Schapman;
Winfield and Hurricane, j. f.
tombstone; Winifrede, supplied.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-10-18
Is The World Growing Better?

Many things go TO prove that it is
The way thousands are irving TO help
others is proof Among them is Mrs
W. w Gould of Pittsfeld, N II.
Finding good health by taking Electric
Bitters, she now advises other sufferers,
everywhere, to take them "For years
/ suffered with stomach and kidney
trouble, she writes. every medicine
used failed Gill took Electric Bitters.
But this great remedy helped me won
derfully." They'll help any woman.
THEY'RE the best tonic and finest liver
and kidney remedy that's made. Try
them. You'll see.
SOC at Bloss Drug Store, Ceredo, and
r. Ney Williams, Kepova.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-10-18
SENSATIONAL TRIAL THURSDAY
David Fleming Acquitted
OF a Serious Charge in
Squire Browns Court.

Last Thursday sensational
trial took place in Justice A. G..
Browns court. David Fleming,
aged about 63 years, who is A
prominent citizen of near Layao
was arree.o. on cuarSe of
unlawful assault, Mrs. Alice
Workman being the prosecuting
witness.
The defendant swore he did
not commit the crime (giving
good reasons therefor) and proved
by a large number of witnesses
of the neighborhood in which he
lives, many of the said witnesses
being mum bered among the lest
citizens of the county, that he is
an upright, honest, moral citizen
and could not have been guilty Of
the crime of which he was charg-
ed.
The prosecution having failed
TO make case Mr.. Fleming was
declared acquitted by the justice.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-10-18

1870. ATTEND. See large ad. on
first page.
DR.. b. ID. Garrett of Whites
creek was In our town Monday.
J. f. Ewes Of West Huntington
was In town on business last Thurs
day afternoon.
Mr.. and Mrs. p. J. Staley of
near kenova were in town on bust
ness last Saturday.
Lots of people are married to our
beautiful job work Join the pro-
cessiop and become benedict.
We neglected to state las, week
that Capt. III. &. Duncan returned
to Washington, D. c., and assumed
his duties in the pension office.
The second regiment brass band
accompanied Cabell county Re
publicans 10 the harmony meeting
at Charleston last week.
For SALE Typewriter ribbons
and carbon paper for sale at the
ADVANCE Stationery Store. Rib
bons so cent? each; carbon paper
sheets for 25 cents.
Wayne county was represented at
the harmony meeting of Republi-
cans at the state capital last week
by }. J.. Stewart, w. w. Smith
and I. T. McDougal.
A series of meetings commenced
at the Baptist church Sunday even
ing Rev. Roscoe Murray of Lou.
lisa, KY, is expected here this even
ing to assist in these services
Every body is invited to attead.
The Bookkeeper or Stenogfspher
who has The recommendation Of
tt6 n 'aRtaln State Huainasa Col
.ege, Parkersburg, w. Va, can
always secure employme Write
today for their 90 page Catalogue
lSoct6w.
Geo. w, Saunders of Hupting ton
Monday moved the one-story frame
structure, which stood on the east
side of the Odd Fellow building,
to the lot east of b. Il O. crossing,
on north side of b street. The
building belongs to Hoard Bros.
Read the attractive adj. of the
Dickinson Furniture Co. in this is
sue. This is one of the largest fur.
niture stores in Huntington. The
firm does an immense business and
numbers Its satisfied customers bv
the hundreds.
Among the citizens of near Lava
Ie,te in Ceredo last Thursday were
the following: Hugh Walters.
Lum Brnmfield, G. A. Morrison,
Grant Lowe, Claude Spurlock,
Elem Stanley, Walter Perdue,
Wayne Periue, John Nixon, Mar
ION Plymale and Arnold Fuller.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. Fl. Sutherland
of Winslow, Arizona, who have
been III Los Angeles, Cal, on a
pleasure trip. came out of the
land Of sunshine and flowers, &c
arriye In Ironton at noon, Ell
route to Rock Camp, to visit their
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. J. K.
Brammer. - Ironton Register,
Oct 10.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-10-18
Rally Day.

Sunday, October 20, will be OBJ
served as Rally Day by the Nj f..
Sunday school. On next Sunday
the school will be divided and
each division presented with
different Rally Day class pine
rhe division having the largest
nun Der of scholars present on
Oct. 30, will be declared the win
ner IN the C ntest An excellent
program has been prepared for
the occasion, and good musicians
secured to assist with the music.
These services will take the place
of the regular Sunday school
period, and every body is invited
to be present.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-10-18

James Capp, street car con-
ductor, dropped dead in his home at
Huntington, last Wednesday as a
result of pulmonary hemorrhage
Capp had been in i'll health for
some time, and had just reported
for duty after taking vacation
While in the act of buttoning his
collar he was seized with a severe
attack of coughing and before a
physician could be summoned, he
expired.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-10-18

The Queen of America and the
National Union of Pittsburg, Pa,
are first-class fire insurance compa-
oies. They pay losses caused by
lighting, whether fire ensues or not.
I. T. McDougal is agent for these
companies. If.