davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16
Tho Up to Date Lawyer.

A lawyer may be good and wise
And stepped in lore up to his eyes
And have tlreless jaw.
But what avails his classic brow.
His savoir faire. his sleek pow-wow.
Unless he tells his clients how
To break and dodge the law?
Louisville Post
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16
Not a Filler.

"AirSh!ps VIII soon be 50 cheap that
that everybody can own one" said the
inventor. I'VE will all be bird men"
Well" replied the timid man, when
we're all bird men I'll choose 10 be an
ostrich and keep my feet on the
ground "-Washincton Star.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16
What Mary Had.

Mary had n Thomas cat.
1t warbled like Caruso.
A neighbor swung n baseball bat.
Now Thomas doesn't do so.
milwaukee Sentinel.
Mary had a little pug.
Twas sleek and fat and round.
One day 1t chewed Persian rug.
Now puggies In the pound
Chicago Tribune.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16
Shame.

Shame on the knaves who talk OF war
And yearn to shed mems gore.
Who yearn 10 see the bloody sword
And hear the cannon roar,
DesIst, ye knaves. and wait until
The baseball seasons DER,
milwaukee, Sentinel
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16

Ian sakes. Henry, don't eat with
your knife
"Now. Mary, don't get nervous. I've
ate with my knife for 6fty years and
never cut myself yet."-St Louis Post
Dispatch.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16
As a Girl Views Ii.

How often did il happen at the
Christmas just passed that man
who needs So for pair of shoes sent
a 50 bunch of violets to a girl that
needs 81 for pair of gloves.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16
The Mystery Connected With James Twohy.


Inadvertently we omitted to note
in our last issue, that the mystery
was cleared up, on the Sd inst. by
the finding of the body of Jas. Twohy.
the man who had been missing from
his home three weeks, by a mill en-
plove near the Northern Pacific depot.
Search had been made continuously
by large parties of friends and neigh
borS. and had not vet abated al
though much djscouragcment was
felt at its result Al. Rayl. the mill
engineer, made the discovery while
on a visit of inspection to the burner.
The body was laying face downward
in the mud Just below a pile of refuse
lumber. Chief Wright and Under
| taker Sticklin were notified and took
the body in charge. The body was
plrtiallv identified 10y a watch, two
bills, pair of glasses and other be
longings. Father Malley, OF st.
Michael s, took the sad news 10 the
| Twohv home. 1t seems that IT IS
probable he fell into the bay while
crossing the Tumwater bridge, and
an abrasion of his head appears to
indicate that he suffered from strik-
ing some hard body and had tloated
to the place near the Shingle milt.
Blood hounds were put on the trail,
Moss Lake was dynamited, hypnotic
influence had been tried. and large
searching parties had been unavaI-
inc. The funeral was held at
o'clock Monday. from Sticklin : chap
el. Father Malley having charge oil
services, and interment at Calvary
cemetery.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16
Mans Way.

The man who drops into the ruck
And makes a sorry mess OF life
II he's unmarried blames his luck
And II he's married blames his wife
: Chicago Post.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16
Contradictory Sicns.

The frost IS on the shingles.
The sink Is fun Of bugs.
An dad IS In the back yard
A-pounding OF the rugs.
Chicago Tribune.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16

A man may conside a good wife "a
pearl above price" but that doeSn t
prevent him from tying to " string"
her.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16
How Much is a Gallon.

The old school boy catch Which
is heavier a pound of feathers or
pound of lead?" comes to nina as one
reads the following account of some
what similar problem. in the |icstm'a-
Hcr Ga@ctte:
Henry VI. defined ton as the
weight OF 81 cubic feet of water, and
a gallon of water, was the eight part
of a cubic foot. Henry NII.'s S gallon
of wheat had a capacity of 214f cubic
inches, ard this is now IN existence.
A gallon in l6S9 was declared to con-
contain 23l cubic inches. and this at
the present moment is the standard
gallon for liquids for the United
States. The Irish gallon, too, has its
viciSSitudcs. but it never attained
the majestic magnitude of the glor-
ious Scotch gallon of $40 cubic inches.
There is always an inevitable in
accuracy in the use of capacity
measure. The general tendency is
to use them as little as possible;
and in many of the countries using
a metric system of weights and
measures the practice is to deal with
everything by weight. The United
States inherited its gallon from the
old country, but this by no means the
only gallon at present in nse across
the herring pond.
There is milk gallon of 2S2 cubic
inches. In Nebraska II pounds of
strained honey is a legal gallon. In
Kansas the bewildercd purchaser has
his choice between 81 pounds of kero-
sene or eight pounds OF caster oil. In
Indiana the legal gallon is IL pounds
of molasSeS.
The dry measure gallons have no
reference at all to the liquid measures
of either the States or of Great Brit
ain. Hence further confusion.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16

When hook meets eye, then comes
the tug Of war, Married man YER
Sion
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16
Homo Helps.

Fish to be kept fresh should be
sprinklcd with salt and put in a cool
place.
To clean rusty and blackened
knive use half raw potato dipped in
brick dust.
Granitcwarc should not be left to
dry over hot fire, as the heat in cX-
panding it may cause the outside to
scale.
When material is being dyed it
should be stirred well. This allows
the dye to penetrate to all parts alike.
thus producing an even shade.
To bleach white garments use one
tablespoon of boraX in one gallon OF
water. Wet the clothes. dry in sun
and repeat the process if necessary.
To clean bronze ornaments, first
brush out the dust then apply little
sweet oil all over the article. Polish
first with a soft dustcr, finally with a
wash leather.
Table sets in black glass with silver
trimmings are among the latest novel
ties.
PIpE-GorRDs POSSIBLE. is now
claimed that the calabaSh gourd
hitherto ii tropical South American
diminutivc gourd, can be and has
been grown on the Touchet, few
miles west of Dayton. The tinis he'd
! product was lately placed on the mar
: ket at Dayton and found such immed
late favor that an effort will be made
for its cultivation FOR that purpose
and it is predicted that returns higt
as 500 per acre may be realized
thereby.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-06-16

Advertise in the STANDARD.
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11
TOGO PUTS HIS HEAD
IN A I4-INCH GUN
Amazed al Worlds MightieSt
War Weapon

Admiral Togo, unfeignedly amazed
stood at the muzzle of a new 14-inch
gun at the Washington navy yard, the
first to be completed Of the twenty
four most powerful rifles in the world
with which the giant American bat
tleships Texas and New York are to
be equipped.
The Japanese admiral stuck his
head into the breech of the gun and
looked through a glistening barrel of
SPA feet, the longest the United
States navy has as yet attempted
Admiral Togo's ordinary expression
less face plainly relaxed. and he look
ed enthusiastically at the la,est prod.
uct of ordnance genius.
He continued with acute interest his
visit through the yard, and though
he moved around rapidly, he received
a vivid impression of the resourcefUl-
ness Of the United States navy.
When he put on smoked glasses
and watched the oxi-acetylene process
OF welding and casting metals, sight
that usually is not shown to visitors,
he marveled at the ease with which
the workmen toyed with metal He
passed through all the machine shops
and foundties, and inspected care
fully the model basin, used for de-
termining by mathematics and model
hulls the power required for big ,bat.
tleships.
The admiral complimented Captain
Beatty on the cleanliness of the yard
and the extensiveness of its equip
ment
As he left the yard ninteen guns
we're fired in salute, a Japanese flag
being hoisted on a staff nearby.
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11

ladelphia.
GEO. F. PIERCE. Manager,
Milford. Del.
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11
Trees

for orchard planting, Fall oi
1911, or Spring 1912.
Oue-year-old trees all fumi-
gated and free from disease, as
fine as can be grown anywhere.
Best varieties for profit, includ-
ing, for early:
Yellow Transparent. Williams
Red, Early Ripe, Red Astrachan
Fourth July and others.
For late varieties:
Stayman, Nero, Grimes, Col
den, Jonathan, York Imperial
Nickajack, Stark, Black-twig'
Winesap, Ben Davis, Paragon.
Wealthy, Baldwin, Gano and
others.
'e also have Peach Trees.
Petrs, Cherries, Plums and
G.apes, English Walnuts and
Shade Trees. California Privet
plants, for hedges around ward
or lawn.
All prices reasonable.
Come see our nurseries or let
us send you catalogue,
Address,
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11
WILLOW GROVE.

Miss Helen Cupper, of Elkton Md, i.
visiting her cousin Miss Imogene Dill.
Olin Goodem of Philadelphia, is visiting
his uncle George Goodem.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Smith and father.
is spending some time in their cottage at
Bowers Beach.
Mrs Mary Smith, spent Sunday with
her sister Mrs. Katherine Brown at
Laurel.
Camden Camp closed last Sunday all
reported of having fine time.
Our boys cross bats with Dover boys
and was defeated by score of 7 to s in
favor of Willow Grove.
APPLE Blossom
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11
The Cause Of Many
Sudden Deaths,

- because 50 ueCep-
tive. Many sudden
deaths are caused
by it-heart dis
ease, pneumonia,
heart failure or
apoplexy are often
the result of kid
ney disease. If
kidney trouble is
allowedtoadvance
the ckidney-poison-
ed blood will at
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11

tack the vital organs, causing catarrh OF
the bladder, brick-dust or sediment in
the urine, head ache back ache. lame
back, dizziness, sleeplessness, nervous
ness, or the kidneys themselves breal,
down and waste away cell by cell
Bladder troubles almost always result
from arrangement of tie kidneys anC
Better health in that organ is obtainet
quickest by proper treatment of the kid
neys. Swamp-ROOt corrects inability to
hold urine and scalding pain in passing it
and overcomes that unpleasant necessity
OF being compelled to 90 often through
the day, and to get up many times 4urinq
the night. The mild and immediate efTecl
Of Swamp-Root, the great kidney remedy
IS soon realized. It stands the highest be
cause of its remaik kable health restoring
properties. A trial will convince anyone
Swamp-Root is pleasant to take and is
sold by all druggists in fifty-cent and
one-dollar size bottles. You may have a
sample bottle and a book that tells all
about it both sent free by mail. Address,
9r. Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, N. Y.
When writing mention reading this gen
erous offer in this paper Don't make
any mistake, but remember the name,
Swamp-ROot, and don't let a dealer sell
you something in place of Swamp Root
If you do y on will be disappointed.
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11

This represents an increase during
the decade of I3 226, or II per cent.
Outside these cities and towns the
population increased 4, 36I, or 5.8
per cent.
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11

Fare 60 PhAIAdeIphAA, % 90
Round TEst - .-..-..-.... .......-.....-.. so
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11
SHAWNEE.

The young people Of Shawnee spen
a very enjoyable evening last Friday a
a party at Mrs. Vibberts. Cake and lem.
onade were served, and the guests de
parted at late hour.
There will be a Christian Eudeavor
social held at the home of Mr.. and Mrs.
D. H. Isaacs, Tuesday evening, August
18th. Ice cream ahd cake will be served.
All are cordially invited. Ladies are re-
quested to bring cake and gentlemen
their pocketbooks.
Mr.. and Mrs A. J. Harding have re-
turned home after a weeks visit in New
York and Long Island.
Miss Mayme Merritt, who has been
visiting Miss Pearle Griffith, has re-
turned to her home.
Don't forget that the Christian En-
deavor is to meet at the church tonight,
Friday, August II, to hear the echoes
from the great convention at Atlantic
City.
Miss Rena Johnson has returned home
after a two week visit at Shawnee.
Miss Lena Bauta is visiting her cousin
Miss Ella Walton.
Miss Hilda Isaacs has been visiting
Miss Mae Isaacs for a few days.
Mrs James Donovan is very i'll at this
writing.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Stevenson. of Phil
adelphia', are visiting their parents Mr..
and Mrs. VIM Stevenson.
Mr.. Mervin Smith is slightly improved
at this writing.
Miss Leona Isaac made a trip to Balti-
more to meet her little nephew, Ray
>opp, this week.
Mr.. Ralph Harrison and mother are
-isitiug in Shawnee this week.
Mrs. o. L. Balsley, who has been i'll. {
improving. PATsEY.
Mrs. Walter Harrison and son Ralph. !
# Philadelphia, are visiting Mr.. and !
.Irs. Ephlain Jefferson. t
Miss Bessie Vibbert spent Sunday after t
oon and evening with Ida Calhoun.
Miss Ella Walton gave a party in C
onor of her guest, Miss Zena Johnson. F
t the home Of Mrs. c. VI. Vibbert Fri
ay evening. All spent a very pleasant q
veuing. :,
Mr.. Harry Belts and family spent Sun a
ay with friends and relatives around I
Mon v
Miss Yense Vibbert, who is on an ex- Al
nsive tour through New York and S
ennsylvapia, is now visiting friends z
Id relatives in Athens, Pa. :
Miss Zena Johnson, Of Ellendale. who
Is been visiting her brother, Mr.. Verle
hnson, has returned home. 4
Mildred Griffith spent Wednesday
tn Delema Short at Slaughter Beach.
Mrs. George Hoffman and daughter
lth, and brother Carol, of Scranton.
d, are visiting Mr.. and Mrs. Jefferson.
Pearle Griffith, Name Merritt and Bur
l Hendricks, were the guests of Miss
lie Short at Slaughter Beach SUNDAY.
Yrs. Elizabeth Deputy, of Lincoln is
iting her brother Mr.. James Donovan.
luite few families of Shawnee are
king frequent visits to Slaughter
lch; namely, Charles and Mark Tat
n and families.J J. S. Calhoun and fam
Ephriam Jefferson, family and guest,
P. H. Griffith, family and guest.
Ir. and Mrs. ]. L. Calhoun and dauqh-
Catherine Marie, spent Sunday at
Ephriam Jefferson's.
Gorge Watson spent Sunday with
ence Calhoun.
rs. Walter Harrison and son Ralph.
t Wednesday and Thursday with
]. L. Calhoun. Zrp.
REAL ESTATE SALES.
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11
REAL ESTATE SALES.

David B. Nailor, farmer living north
4 Milford, has purchased the home on
Railroad Avenue belonging to William
ones. Consideration not given.
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11
Str. GreensbOrOuqh.
GEORGE W PAL1ER. Captain.
Weather permitting Steamer Creeusborough will
make trips as follows for the month of
AUGUST
RETURNING
LEAVE PHILADELPHIA

Stssamer will leave Philadelphia. Piss 8, soud
Wharves, as follows;
Milford chronicle., 1911-08-11
.C0XEY & WATSON,
FUNERAL DIRECTORS AN1 EMaALNEaS.

We have the Latest Outfit and are the
best equipped of any uudertakers south of
Philadelphia We understand caring for
the dead with the best equipment at the
lowest prices. Our motto: Prompt ser
vice and small profits When in need
of undertakers give us a call. Mrs Covey
is our assistant, free of charge. No extra
charge for long distance. We are pre-
pared to answer telephone are telegraph
calls day or night. Call Phone 1852.
Office at residence, Cor. Front & West
Sts., next door to Isaac 5. Truitt. Busi-
ness establishment $40 West Front St.,
North Milford, Dela.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-14
|SPLASHES FROM THAT MOIST BUT
SATISFACTORY OPENING DAY MATINEE


Zeider and Callahati got stolen bases
in the ninth. Strengthening no chance
to throw on either them
Walsh tried seventimes TO get Bush
of first In the eight. but DOME event
ually stole and scord.
II was a great RECEPTION the crowd
gave the team depite the fact that
the postponement pbbed the game OF
much OF it's natre OF function
Everybody SCENE, particularly glad
20 welcome Crawford, Moriarty and
Gainor.
The sox scored irst in the sixth on
a walk TO McConpll, scratch nifty
Lord. and Mullins wild peg or the
same topped on by Doughertys SUIT
ring rap TO left.
Bush's mum o Ze'der's ny in the
ninth gave the COX an opening with
one out Doughty was the second
instead OF the thrd out, ana Saia"
produced a gensne single
Incidentally. ~ has saved up a LOT
Of worry over that first home run. rne
q = smashes harder into left nelu
than any livingleft- hand hitting NOR
tai
Mullin had god speed. but his curve
seemed far firm it's usual decep..e
ability. The nly strikeout ne GOT IN
the whole game was on the last man
TO face him.
II was the irst time that one OF the
Tiger pitchers has gone the ruii rou'e'
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-14

strike. was one of the comic incidents
OF the afternoon.
Moriarty wears a brace on his game
ankle, bu tdidnt show any particular
weakness yesterday.
The Detroit inheld amassed one hit
OF Walsh--that one a scratch by Bush
in his last time at bat
The Tigers showed the effects OF
their weeks OF bunting practice. There
isn't a man on the club who can't lay
the ball down whenever IL so behooVeS
him.
Lee Tannehill. now the inheld util-
ity man Is the standby Sox coacher at
first Manager Duffy takes third, or
course.
There were just five Tigers out or
81 put out. In whose demise Walsh or
Tex Jones didn't have hand
Walsh has a black and blue spot
on his shin where Stanage's clout land
ed Big Ed didn't even rub IL. on the
field Of battle, however.
From time TO time Tyrus filled IN
his idle moments In the field By long
distance heaving feats up against the
bull. where several OF his mates were
doing light work.
Four % Walsh's five strike-outs
came in the last two innings. when TX
was rapidly growing dark on account
of an approaching rain squall
Bush made two pretty plays. His
error was nun OF pop-ny after
hard run.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-14

Well, thank heaven, the lid has been
pried of the season. anyhow.
Mayor Thompson's Prince Albert
surely made noble show, but was
doubtless TO blame for his poor con-
troll He took four shots at the plate
and then gave Charlie Bennett chance
for a gAndstand play.
II was necessary 10 introduce Mayor
Thompson to the Jumps and the SoN.
one by one After that came the sole
opening exercises.
AS a ball game IL was a grand sue
cess, but as an opening day IL really
didn't amount TO much.
Next to Gainor's sparkling stop OF
Lords smash In the third. came
Walshs play on Davy Jones bunt In
the second inning The two were the
brightest fielding stunts of the game.
Incidentally, u. Jones broke In with
an accurate throw to the plate, nipping
so fast a man as Lord. attempting to
score from second on a long single
by Dougherty
IL would be hard TO find an outfield
that has seen more years or service
than the veteran trio OF the SoN.
Dougherty. Callahan and Mcintyre are
all veterans.
D. Jones led of with a hit, first up
in the first Mcconnell had done the
same for the Sox.
The huge Indignation of DOME Bush
when Umpire Perrfne called Dad
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-14
JOSS DEATH IS
ACRUEL SURPRISE
Nobody Thought HIM In Critical
Condition; He Expected To Re-
join Mates Soon.

TOLEDO, o., April l4.-Addie joss,
the famous Cleveland pitcher. died
at an early hour OF tubercular men
nights.
He was taken sick during his train
ing trip and was brought home where
the doctors were unable 10 diagnose
the exact nature of his illness. he
was supposed TO be suffering with
pleurisy complicated with water on
the chest and brain trouble.
Although his condition was admit
ted 10 be serious there was no indica-
ton whatever that II might prove
fatal and Joss up until late last night
was planning to be back soon with
the team. He was 81 years old.
Joss is survived by wife. two chill
dren, Norman, aged s, and Ruth, aged
4. and his mother, Mrs. Theresa Joss,
OF Woodland, Wis.
He began his baseball career in
Juneau, Wis, In 1905, with semi
professional team and was discover
ed" at Hudson. Mich, the spring OF
1900, by Charles J. Strobel, who was
at that time owner Of the Toledo club
in the Interstate league.
Joss joined the Toledo club and
was Immediately one OF the star
twirlers OF the league and was pur-
chased by Cleveland.
No funeral arrangements have been
made, but the body will be inferred In
Woodlawn cemetery, Toledo st
Thomas Knights Templar, will have
charge Of the funeral.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-14
FARRELL OFFERS
PARK TO GIANTS
Destruction of Polo drounos Stands
by Fire Brings Out Sportsman
like Proposal.

NEW YORK. April 14.-The New
York National league baseball team
is today without home, following
the practical destruction by hre OF
the famous Polo grounds early today.
The huge doubledeck grandstand. the
lett field and part of the center Held
bleachers were licked up by the
flames in few minutes. only the
right field bleachers, a part OF those
in center field and the club house re-
naming.
Todays game with Philadelphia has
been postponed. Ten thousand bleach
er seats are still standing and with
these as nucleus, an effort VIII be
made to accommodate a crowd AT to-
morrow's game II this is found i'm
possible, the American League park,
" hich has been offered 10 the Giants
by President Farrell, will be used.
Ultimately concrete tireproof
stand will replace the burned struc'
ture. Temporary stands will be erect
ed speedily as possible. The loss Is
estimated at 100000. The elevated
railway company suffered like loss
In the destruction OF It's storage plant
The cause OF the fire Is unknown.
O,Gormsn and Young are tied for
high In the state bowling tournament
with 6lO
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-14
Noteworthy Events
In the League Race

Every winning team OF wed
nesday repeated on Thursday.
With the Browns ahead, 8 to
1, Cleveland started batting bee,
scored a run and had the sacks
full with none out In the ninth,
only 10 have the score revert
when a tornado broke loose.
In the first two games Of the
year, the New York Yankees
trimmed Bender and Coombs, the
worlds champion twiriers.
hartzeIi saved the game for the
Yanks by a great one-handed stop.
Mullin would have shut Chicago
out In the Detroit opener. but
for his own and Bush's errors.
Crawford batted In or scored
three Of Detroit's four runs, Sc
cred of Walsh.
Miller, colt right-feIder of
Washington, virtually won the
game from Boston by three hits
of Cicotte.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-14

diamond. IL looked as If Sam would
have been wise 10 hold second out ne
tore on and made swell slide INTO
third, beating the throw by an eye
lash.
OF course, Jones had simply walked
home.
The next time Sam strobe TO the
slugger's stance was In the third
Tyrus had just whaled glorious
homer into the left field bleachers
The bases were naturally clear. Had
there been anyone on. he would Ger
tainly have advanced, for Sam mt
sharply between Lord and Zeider The
latter would probably have gotten