Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-29
NATIONAL TOPLINERS

Quaker as chairman. Gear was invited to
the meeting. He accepted the invitation.
The old Quaker called him to the platform,
and said:
1--we learn that thou dost not belong to
anv temperance society, and also that thou
dost drink liquor at thy discretion. Is this
true?'
Every word of it is true, replied Gear;
but did you ever hear of my doing anything
dishonorable?
"Nav, Mr. Gear, replied the old Quaker
chairman; nay. we have never heard any
thing else to thy discredit. Thy frankness
is more to be commended than thy habits. |
But thou hast not lied to US, and we will
support thee :, :.
and elected him too
1T costs more, said prominent Washing |
tonian, to get divorced than it costs to
get married"
MAYBE So said the lawyer, as he took |
the big check; but it S worth more. Ism 'tit?"
TIM SLOAN, who is commander in chief
= of the Secret Service men guarding the
President, is famous for his dreams. In
one nights sleep he can run round the earth,
climb the Andes or discover the South Pole.
On the last morning of one of the flying
trips the President takes, Sloan looking pale
and exhausted, climbed slowly out of his
berth. The party had been on rails for four1
days, and the jaunt had been grinding, tire
some journey.
I'm worn out, utterly exhausted" said
Sloan sadly.
What's the matter?" asked one of his
companions.
oh" he said despairingly, Il dreamt all
last night that the rear truck of the Presi-
dents car had come off and / had to run
along in place of it and hold the car off the
ground. l did that for three hundred and
fifty-eight miles"
ZEE McCLUNG is Treasurer Of the United
II States, and plays with millions Of dollars
with as much sangfroid and ease as juggler
does with slips of paper. But, when the
football and baseball seasons are on, he
takes off enough time from his money count
ing to worry the sporting editors of news
papers by calling them up and inquiring in a
feverish tone:
What did Yale dor"
NIcClung was one of the greatest football
players Yale ever had.
D REPRESENTATIVE JOHN A. MOON
- of Tennessee has in his district an old
colored man who does not believe in banking
institutions.
And don't blame him" said Mr. Moon,
in telling the story. He lived in Washing
ton when the old Freedmen's Bank, estab-
lished for the savings of colored people,
was in its most fourishing condition. Old
Joe put into the bank the sum of ten dollars.
At the expiration of two years, his wife
wanted a new dress, and she hectored him
into going to the bank to draw out that
precious ten. He did so.
AT the paying tellers window, he said,
Nah name is Joseph Jackson, an l wants
NAH ten dollahs.
"'When did you put in dat ten, NIistah
Jackson? inquired the paying teller.
1.-Two yeahs ago, replied Joe.
1.-TWO yeahs ago!' exclaimed the teller in
establishment.
"'Yas, subj
Well sholy, NIistah Jackson said the
teller in a patronizing manner, you ought to
know dat in dat time de intrus done eat up de
principal. You ain got no money lef' heah.'
Soon after that the bank failed"
SENATOR SIMON GUGGENHEIM Of
- Colorado is fluent speaker of French,
German, and Spanish; but he does not
make many speeches in the Senate.