davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
SHE HOLDS 1T UP TO THE
Girl Who Is Tiresome in Love

lieves in your charm. When II
oozes away during the engagement
he looks for reasons. He finds them
in your absorption in lace ruffles
and dressmakers. And he believes
that, once you are married, you
will return to him in the old, sweet,
gay companionship. You will con-
slider HIM as you did before the en-
gagement.
The trousseau Is not the whole ex-
plantation; but it is as well to let
him think so. The fact that you are
engaged .rnakes you lease up" in your
endeavor to please him. You say
the clothes are meant just for thati
But that is a polite prevarication.
You know he would like you just as
Il with half as many gew-gaws.
But YOU want them!
You and Clothes Alone
Be careful. Some men get impa-
tient when they are bored. And
you must have HIM to be EN-
GAGGED. You and the clothes alone
cannot achieve II. Really, when you
exhaust your originality and be-
come a human stick, just for the
sake of the trousseau, you are per-
forming the risky feat of "hitching
the cart before the horse" There 10
no telling when the horse VIII re-
sent the treatment-and bolt!
The Washington times., 1911-04-11

futility of ideals, the young man
awaited the tying of the can.
"Tweedles" said the city editor,
lingering his blue pencil Cas soon as
the blue pencil is mentioned. know
that the newspaper story is indubita-
bly, genuine), "Tweedles, you're a mess.
But, because you have such a funny
face, ! will give you one more chance.
We need a burning hot story in two
hours. We gotta have 1t. Get 1t for
US. or never let me see your face
again"
Tweedles withdrew, feeling awful
dawn in the mouth.
IN two hours to the minute he re-
Surned.
1--WE got it!' he shouted, slapping his
hat down on the city editors blue
pencil. CThere 1t is again.)
'What?' Just one word, but oh, my!
Woman in a harem skirt admits
she's wearing 1t for notoriety"
EXTRY! EXTRY!
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
Loretta's Locking Glass

T OVERHEARD three men talking
about you. One of them ad-
vanced the idea that 1t would
be fine to get married without hav-
Ing the engagement period to worry
through. You know who He was.
The others agreed. 1 became ex-
cited. l had never looked at the
engagement in that way. And
neither have you.
But have been observing since.
And 1 have seen you, who were SO
animated, so full of humor and of
charm. such a delightful companion,
droop in kind of "after-the-
battle, resting on -the-oars" inertia.
You seem to have gone stale"
The Tricksy Blind God
What is the matter? Has the
tricksy blind god seen enough to
punch out your sense of humor
with one of his arrows. Has his
love Of mischief robbed you Of your
best ally?
Ingersoll called life a barren
peak between the .chasms of two
eternities. / have-and so have you!
thought of the engagement period
as the enchanted mountain between
the lowlands Of single and double
blessedness.
Since the new thought was inject
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
The Blue Pencil; Or,
Saved By a Skirt
-Tweedles," called the city editor.

"Tweedles," called the city editor.
In g newspaper story, gentle
readah. IL the city editor does not start
things off by calling the cub reporter.
lay down the spurious yarn at once,
II you have not already done so, for
the local color is not of the right
shade.
Tweedles. very fresh from college
and disposition, obeyed the curt sum-
mons with a heart that sank rapidly
despite his buoyant nature. Consider
able meaning is to be extracted from
the subtle use of sank and buoy
ant" in this sentence).
With a sudden sickening realization
Of the hopeless ness of it all and the
The Washington times., 1911-04-11

''Us fellows have got up swell
club" remarked Jackie, as he pored
over the evenings comics. Each boy
Sives a cent every time he says slang
word. l owe 10 cents"
''By George" Inused Mr.. Peeved, 1t d
be q good stunt for each of US to try
giving a nickel every time we said
anything disagreeable, eh. petty?"
Lets try it, john" suggested his
wife enthusiastically.
"And I'll be umpire" cried Jackie,
running for a pencil and paper.
ITS a splendid idea" said Mrs.
The Washington times., 1911-04-11

tn pass Harris widout bein' seen, but
Harris looks up as he Is passin' by.
why" sez he, 'if IT isn't Bill Dunn"
an he sticks out his hand tn de seedy
guy. De seedy guy grabs it an forces
uh smile, den makes some excuse fur
not bein' shaved, an havin' tn sell soap
fur uh livin'. He SEE he failed In busi-
ness, an was doin' good sellin' soap,
tho he knows all de time dat he's jus
barely existin'. He's sorter uhshamed
tu meet Harris, cause he's SO poor.
Does Harris rub 1t in? Nav, Jimmie.
He jes' sez: Don't make any excuses.
Bill, we're all liable to fall" Den he
gives him uh dollar, but won't take de
soap, an dey stands dere an talks over
OIL times, while Harris swell friend
beats II.
OATS what you call real friendship.
Jimmiei
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
Our Grocery Clerk
Says, What's a Bargain

Does the boss know the ladies'?
Well, I should snicker.
But then he's been married twice,
and that gave him a chance TO get IL
at first and second hand, both. NOT
half bad for an amateur, Ell! Still,
I think a man that marrtes second
time don't know the ladies half as
well as he thought he did. But the
boss Is an exception.
I started to tell you that he had an
argument with a friend of his yester-
day over a barrel Of prime eating ap-
pies that had been sticking around
the place for a week because the
ladies, bless 'em, thought that eighty
cents a peck was entirely too much.
We'll. the boss bet his friend a box
of cigars he could get rid Of half the
barrel in one day at ninety cents q
neck. Friend took him up.
See that sign on the barrel, Tues
day only-S0 cents?
Every day In the week for eighty
not a sale. Ninety on Tuesday only.
Presto, change! The boss has a box
of cigars coming to him.
The Washington times., 1911-04-11

ed among my old delusions, I have
been attentive. And about the only
thing that has seemed to wake you
to interest and animation Is your
trousseau. The number of yards of
ribbon required to run through the
lengths of beading is your serious
problem. You consider 1t with q
devotion which you should be giving
to the question, How to be inter
esting though engaged"
Men are always trying to hurry
up the wedding. OF course, you and
l have thought 1t was because they
are so terribly in love. With this
new illumination, hazard the guess
that 1t Is because they are so ter
ribly bored!
If you have attracted a man so
that he proposes, he naturally be-
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
Reddy Smith On
True Friendship

Nav, dey amt good friends at all. Jim
mie. It's only because de short feller
jes' made uh bunch uh coin dat de I'D
der wun's so friendly. Dere amt no true
friendship dere-it's jes' plain greed.
True friendship, Jimmie, Is jes' plain,
common-well, I'll tell you.
De udder day Harris-de feller dat
wurks on uh noospaper-is oummin
thru de square wild uh swell guy.
Dere's uh seedy lookin' feller sellin'
soap cummin' de udder way. He tries
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
Hon. Roser A. Pryor Appointed
o. General Beauresards Staff

1t is announced at Charleston that
the Hon. Roger A. Pryor has received
an appointment on the stan OF Cen
eral Beauregard.
Charleston is- greatly excited. ex-
pecting an attack upon Fort Sumter
at any time. Immense crowds are at
the newspaper offices awaiting news
Beauregard prepares to leave for
Morris island, where there are up
ward Of 5000 men.
At Pensacola, all guns have been
arranged to bear upon Fort Ptckens and
command the channel
1t Is currently reported at Charles
ton that negotiations will be opened
tomorrow between Beauregard and
Anderson for the surrender Of Sum-
ter.
New York hears through a special
dispatch from Charleston that the ru-
NOR has been confirmed that Presi-
dent Davis has issued orders that
vessels conveying provisions to Fort
Sumter are not to be fired upon.
The Hon. Roger A Pryor arrives
in Charleston and in acknowledging
a serenade speaks for half an hour.
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
Two Hundred and Fifty Troops
Landed at Fortress Monroe

Two hundred and fifty troops are
reported to have been recently land
ed at Fortress Monroe under cover Of
night 1t is believed to be the in
tention Of the administration to make
this garrison as strong as possible.
The confederate commissioners
leave Washington for the south, by
way Of Baltimore.
The character Of the administra-
tion's reply to their last communica-
tion Is not publicly known.
The New York Post says that the
agents Of the confederate states were
rebuffed in their efforts to get part
Of the loan taken there.
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
CLEVER REAL ESTATE MAN

He talked lot to me-"
Treated me worse than that"
He dtd?'
ct should say he did. Took m
right In"
How was that?"
Talked a house and lot to me-"
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
cents Tor pa, said Jackie.
Ma Tallies Again
photographic Yarn
With a Real Moral

An elephant in the zoo was given
food and water in the presence Of
visitors.
Two pretty young women in fine
dress crowded close to watch the pro-
cedure.
They were handsomely gowned.
Every time the elephant drank he
raised his trunk toward the ladies and
trumpeted with pride.
The young women laughed.
Finally the elephant took all the
water that remained in the trough at
one gulp.
AS he raised his trunk toward the
ladies a wisp of straw tickled his nose
He sneezed.
Z-z-z-t,
MORAL:
The best way to conquer pride and
vain conceit is by an intimate study OF
the weaknesses of others
OUR DEVIL WONDERS
How the secretary of the navy can
give away the plans of the ships and
still hang on to his Jop.
HIS GREATNESS
HE is a great talker."
''On what subject?"
"Subject?"
Yes"
He doesn't have to have a subject.
That's where his greatness lies"
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
Two Thousand Troop.
Have Sailed From New York

The total number of troops witch
have sailed from New York for the
south Is said to be fully two thou
sand. At least twenty-five hundred
men are on their way from Texas at
this time, and the effective force OF
sailors and marines on board tas
various men-of-war Is estimated at
fifteen hundred
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
The Southern View
Anil IL. 1861 (Thursday)

AUY1l II, 1Sol kAAhso.sI
Flying at her masthead a secession
flag Of blue, red and white, the little
schooner Florida docks at Richmond
from Jacksonville.
1t fs reported at Galveston that fed
eral troops have been left IN Texas
with a view of concentrating at some
given point. It is also reported that
the Mexicans at Matamoras have
planted cannon pointing toward
Brownsville.
The Texas legislature passes bill
for the issue Of state bonds In the
sum Of 100000, to be raised by
special tax.
st. Louis hears that the citizens or
Arizona, in convention at Messilla, re-
Gently resolved themselves out of the
union, and that General W. c. Jones,
formerly of Missouri, has announced
himself as a candidate to represent
Arizona In the congress Of the con-
federate states.
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
New Oath of Allegiance
To Be Administered

The secretary of war today issued
instructions to the officers of the MI
litia In Washington to administer to
the men under their command a new
oath of allegiance. which provides
that in the event of the secession of
Maryland and Virginia, he will swear
to be true to the government of the
United States, and assist in enforcing
the laws against all enemies of the
constitution. whether foreign or do
mestic.
The volunteers Of the city of Wash
ington will be assembled tomorrow,
when guard duty will be assigned to
them, and the city placed under mill
tary surveillance.
Considerable excitement was caused
by the discovery, last night, that the
model of a naval steam engine on a
new plan, together with numerous
drawings and plans for marine en-
gines, had been stolen from the chief
engineers bureau, presumably to be
sent to Montgomery.
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
MAGAZINE GIRLS

Gibson used to draw them
Sometimes nine and ten heads high.
Christy used to draw them
With a cold and naughty eye.
Fisher mostly draws them
From the waist up through the hat.
But Jimmy Flagg he draws them
Shorthand round-and fat.
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
The Northern View
April IL, 1851 (Thursdaxl


The fidelity of the army to the
union cause Is shown by the fact that
out Of eleven hundred and ten off,
GERS whose names appear on the army
register, but eighty-six have resigned
since the present rebellion COM
menced. OF eight hundred and six
commissioned officers in the navy,
only thirty-hve have resigned from
all causes since the first of the year
OF the seventy-six commissioned off,
GERS Of the navy from the seeded
states, fifty remain in the service.
The three commissioners from the
confederacy who have been in Wash
1ngton for some time past have now
given up all hope of effecting an ami
cable adjustment. One of them, John
Forsyth, gave out the following
statement today: The commission fs
cloSed WAR Is ina,ritah1a
The Washington times., 1911-04-11

we'll, I'm there,
Early in the evenin called Bills attention tall redheaded
looks danced like June breeze
II know 'm," Bill says, short-lke.
oh" "do your Introduce and I'll i'm dance
Just like that nobody dance like Bill but then
think it's good thing dance with somebody else while
because the less get the more they appreciate it
Bills Mean About 1t
NO. won't" he Pm dancn with tonight"
Grumpy? Mercy!
WE'LL Belle, didn't nothin' being little
person. wasn't exacy ckd death And
then they the waltz Ever hear of it, Belle? It's grand
fellow that likes whether
him before while you're waltzng with
and dance with this fellow till somebody else
him The that said variety the life "a
liked the waltz, Belle.
Well anyhow should Bill first shot off but the
him had
60 And 1 glad Belle, glad! You amt bound
Belle, ordinarily wouldn't
doubebarreled little conversaons with Red
him nobody elsed have chance
10 tap him and get
turned toward where Bill
I'd the smiles Red Head and look
And lookin' Belle, WELL that's
didn't of heaven for hours
point is Belle, the point is when back Bill
Moses almost felt for
him little bit of jealousy won't hurt the best of
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
MR.. PEEVED PROTESTS

I Peeved, grimly. It'll be a good way to
prove to you that you generally start
it.
| "Fi cents for ma" crowed Jackie,
marking 1t down.
There, petty. right off the bat" ex-
claimed Mr.. Peeved, triumphantly.
Wen prove who starts It, all right.
The games hardly on before you begin.
That's the way with you women: you
want proof, proof, proof. and when you
get 1T, by Jove, you've got to admit
that you begin nine-tenths OF every
family squabble. and
"Ff cents for pa" announced Jackie.
well, it's worth five cents to relieve
my mind on the subject" declared Mr..
Peeved. Il always did think that bick-
ering was another name for woman,
and now"
Ten cents for pa" said Jackie.
Ma Tallies Again
Mr.. Peeved paused to draw breath
That's right; you'd better keep
quiet" observed his wife. Every word
you say is an illustration Of my point.
I'd be only too pleased to sit here all
evening and not let one disagreeable
remark pass my lips, only, of course,
when you start acting like a bear no
normal woman
Ten cents for ma" droned Jackie.
You're even"
Jacket" roared his father, go to
bed immediately
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
NEWS OF THE CIVIL WAR
As Told IN Daily
Dispatches Printed
FIFTY YEARS AGO TODAY

He memorable struggle which attracted the attention
of the whole civilized world, and known as the civil
war, began just fifty years ago.
The old newspapers of both northern and
southern cities published during that stirring period
have been searched, and from day to day the war
news and current reflection of public sentiment are
presented they appeared in each section at that
time.
From the southland the dispatches are taken
directly from the files of old time newspaper of
Richmond, Va, and from the north the news is
drawn from several sources, including files of old
of the larger cities.
The Washington times., 1911-04-11
OUR DEVIL WONDERS

How the secretary of the navy can
give away the plans of the ships and
still hang on to his Jop.
The Washington times., 1911-04-11

THINK little jealousy goes a long way, Belle,
A fellow don't begin to realize just what sized
pebble he really this rocky beach o life until
old Green Eyes starts to wriggle in his manly
bosom.
I'm thinkin' of somepin' that happened last
night while Bill and l were up at Souder's Select
Dancin' Academy-you remember, the place you
spell with capitals? Bill had been sort of grumpy
and bossy all evenin'-I don't know why, because
the floor like glass and the music kept time
to your feet and just wrapped itself around your
soul; and Bill dances like a grown-up angel and L
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-12-23
TO GO AFTER RAFFLES
Grand Jury Decides that Candy
Boards Have Become
a Nuisance.

In the report Of the grand jury
discharged last week, "candy
boards" and similar rafting de-
vices are hit. The report says:
eve find that the com
paratiyely harmless candy punch
board of a few months ago has
developed into a gambling prop
osition Of dangerous proper
tons has invaded many
classes of business, ranging
from the lunch stand and res
taurant with their candy boards
to the rafting of whiskey by
similar means in dramshops, and
in our Judgment the entire sys-
tenn should be stopped, and di-
rect that the parties having
such devices in their places of
business that do not take them
out at once be prosecuted there
for"
Prosecuting Attorney G. A.
Keith stated Monday that
the jury had found evidence that
small boys were spending as
much as two dollars each per
week ON these "punch boards"
"This business seems to have
become as bad as roulette" he
said. "It is my intention to
make a canvass Wednesday of
the places where these boards
have been and if 1 find any Of
them left to start prosecution at
once"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-12-23
Judge Rich Being Doomed.

The following article con
corning the candidacy of Judge
j. A. Rich for the Court of APP
peals is taken from Saturday
nights Kansas City Star;
John A.. Rich of Lexington,
Mo-, has announced his candidacy
for the Democratic nomination as
judge of the Kansas City Court
of Appeals. His friends in Kan
.sas City have started an active
campaign for his election. Judge
Rich presides over the criminal
court of Saline and Lafayette
counties. He has served twelve
years on that bench and is start
ing his third term. He had nc
opposition at the last election.
Before moving to Lexington he
practiced law at Slater, Mo-, NOR,
than twenty years.
Judge Rich has been interested
actively in education and fol
many years was president of the
board of c%urators of Central Col.
lege in Fayette.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-12-23
Criminal Court.

The jury in the case of State
VS.. Marion Warren, charged
with intent to kill, brought in a
verdict of guilty Saturday after
noon and assessed his punishment
as five years in the penitentiary.
viii Harper withdrew a plea
OF not guilty and entered a plea
OF guilty to the charge of assault
with intend to kill and was sem
fenced for two years in the pen
itentiary.
State VS.. Pool, common as
sault, defendant was acquitted.
Most of the time in the crimi-
lnal court Wednesday was taken
up in the case of State VS.. T. E.
Kempel, charged with assault
with intend to kill. Fred Muench.
the chief witness for the state
failed to appear against Kempel
and the jury found the defendant
not guilty.
Eight gambling cases were
disposed of in each case the de-
PENDANT being fined twenty-five
dollars and costs.
In the case of the state VS..
VIM. Morris, defendant pleads
guilty to burglary and larceny
and sentenced to three years in
the penitentiary.
In the case of the State VS..
Walter Gates and Chester Hunter
charged with robbery, the court
appoints Chas. Lyons and War
rem Sherman to defend them.
In the case of the State VS..
Fritz Kirkoff charged with as
sault with intend to kill. The
jury failed to agree and was dis
charged.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-12-23
Waverly Notes.

Mrs. G, A.. Keeling and chill
dren left last week for st. Louis
to spend the holidays.
Mrs. Joe McAllister and chill
dren left Saturday for Kansas
City to make their future home.
Miss Lillian Edwards of Hodge
visited her sister, Mrs. Hugh
Leach, the first of the week.
Hough Miller of Kansas City
is visiting his parents, n. J.
Miller and wife.
Miss Mamie Palmer, who is
attending school in Kansas City,
arrived Monday to visit her
aunt, Mrs. Lizzie Thomas.
Mrs. Warren Groves and
daughters went to Kansas City
Wednesday for an extended visit
with her mother, Mrs. Fannie
Walton.
Mrs. Clifford Landrum and
Miss Florence Cauthorne left
Friday morning for st. Louis to
visit relatives.
Mrs. Tom Maltby was called to
Franklin, Kansas, Saturday by
the serious illness of her hus-
band who went there last week
to undergo an operation.
Mrs. Howard Wilson of Am
arilla, Texas, who is visiting her
sister, Mrs. Mamie Steele, at
Lexington, spent Sunday with A.
Corder and family.
Miss May Steele, who is at
tending William Woods College
at Fulton, arrived the first of
the week to spend the holidays
with homefolks.
Mr.. William Lee returned Mon
day from Franklin, Kansas,
where he accompanied his niece,
Mrs. Tom Malthy.
Miss Marguerite Landrum of
William Woods College at Full
ton, arrived home Thursday to
spend the Christmas holidays
with her parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
T. R. Landrum.
A new steel bridge is being put
over Melnor ditch, one half mile
northeast of town. The work
is in charge of a Kansas City
Company.
Uncle Nell Youree, am old and
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-12-23
Dover Notes.

Allan Hickam Of Kansas City
spent Saturday and Sunday here
with relatives.
Miss Jean Zeyzing spent
The week end in Lexington with
friends at Central College.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harmon Vail,
Jr., and Miss Dean Dysart spent
Monday in Higginsville.
Mrs. Fred zeyzing and Mrs.
Ella Stolte shopped in Lexington
Saturday.
Mrs. Mollie Guerre of Amar-
lila, Texas, spent several days
last week here visiting with her
aunts, Mrs. NJ. Phleger and Mrs.
X. c. Hogan.
Dan Burke and wife spent Sat
urday in Lexington.
w. S. McGee and sister and
Miss Minnie and Miss Lizzie
Vaughan spent Tuesday in Cor
der.
Mrs. Philip VAIL shopped in
Lexington Friday and Saturday.
Ed and VIII VIM had bust
ness in Corder Tuesday.
J. L. Groves shipped cattle to
Kansas City this week.
Mrs. 0. G. Congdon and little
daughter, Vera, have gone to
Newton, Kansas, to spenC
several weeks.
R. P. Cherry left Saturday foi
New Boston, Texas, to spend
Christmas with his wife anC
little daughter, who are visiting
at that place.
DR.. and Mrs. HARDWOOD are ex.
pecting their sons, w. D. anC
Carl, home to spend the holidays.
Rev. and Mrs. J. H.. Clayton
spent last Friday in Lexington
at Central College with then
daughter, Miss Imnoge.
Miss Helen Cole of Lexington
spent Saturday and Sunday will
hOmefolks.
Ed. Morrison will preach
at the Christian church Sunday
morning and night, Dec. Oath.
Mrs. James Corbin spent Tues
day in Waverly.
Mr.. and Mrs. Irwin Hodges
spent Thursday in Lexington.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. B. HarwooC
shopped in Lexington Thursday,