davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28

sudden glory arising from a sudden
conception of some eminency in our
selves by comparison with the infirm-
ity of others. or with our own for
merly."
If laugh is benefaction and the
provoker of a laugh benefactor, why
are there more statues to dull people
than to witty ones? Who was the
greatest laugh promoter in history?
1t was said of Sidney Smith that he
was the father of 100000 laughs.
Laughter" said Lord Rosebery re-
Gently, 'is physical necessity. We
live under sunless sky. surrounded
by a melancholy ocean, and 1t is a
physical necessity for the English ma
tion-even for the Scotch nation and
the Welsh nation-to laugh. 1t ex,
hilarates all social relations. Was
not" his lordship added. "the laugh
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28

Of pension for the widow of soldier
There were papers forwarded to him which bore
on the case, and these he turned to the
committee pensions after his bill had been
introduced
The widow did not get her money, and it
not long before the whole house knew why. The
member who had espoused the widows cause
had been in congress for years, and the joke at
mis- expense was too good to keep, and one after
another of his colleagues walked up to his desk
and congratulated him on the wisdom shown in
the plea which in written FORM he had
turned in to the committee to win the widows
case.
1t is perhaps needless to FAY that the men,
Der had never read the plea. 1t set forth the
fact that while the amount of pension increase
the widow Of the soldier hero asked for was
large, 1t must be understood that she came of
good family moved in the best social circles, and
in need of large sum of money to keep up
appearances"
Upon occasion senators and representatives per.
nit their constituents to do their talking for
them in congress. Petitions come in floods at
times, with the object of securing legislation by
external pressure. In the Smoot case, and in
the pure food and army canteen matters the pleas
of the people in by the tens of thousands.
The members of both houses present these let
ters call attention their import and then allow
the petition to do the rest If they are potent
enough.
Senator Latimer of South Carolina once intro
ture of government millions for the Improvement
of the highways. The automobilists all over the
country began sending letters of approval. They
pressed their friends into the writing service, but
that they did not always pass upon the persuasive
merits of the friends productions is shown fair
ly we'll by one letter on the good roads subject
received by Senator Cuom. 1t read like this:
Dear Mr. Cullom: Please vote for this id
BILL and you will oblge a fool friend of mine
who automobile. Yours more or less
sincerely, ---
1t was a Chicago man who wrote this appeal
There were others like unto 1t. The good roads
bill still sleeps
In the older days the school readers contained
the story of "Tl Try Sir Miller" Probably
everybody knows who "Il Try Sir Miller" was
Certainly everybody ought to know. Gen. James
Miller then captain, was the hero of Lundy's
Lane. He said he would try to do the thing
necessary for the thrashng of the enemy, and he
did it, and "Tll Try Sir" took the place of his
Christian name James.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28
The Shepherd of the Black Sheep

more intense form of the smile. In
extreme cases the eyes are moistened
by the effusion from the lachrymal
glands"
There you have scientific defini-
tion. But 1t Is clear that mankind
would hardly take the trouble to go
through that experience II that is all
that laughter consisted of. They
would not regard Dickens or a
Mark Twain as benefactor merely
because a perusal of their writings
produced that. No; even the philoso-
pliers know that laughter is something
better than that-something internal
that there is such thing as silent
laughter. Hobbies calls laughter "a
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28
Professor Sir Charles Bell In tho
Strand Calls It convulsivo Ac-
tion of the Diaphragm.

Laughter" says Professor Sir
Charles Bell in the London Strand, SIS
a convulsive action of the diaphragm.
In this state the person draws full
breath and throws 1t out in interrupt
ed, short and audible cachinnations.
This convulsion Of the diaphragm is
the principal part of the physical man
Hesitation of laughter; but there are
seyeral accessories, especially the
SO rp vocal utterance arising from the
violent tension of the larynx and the
aSpression of the features. this being
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28
The Quaker Scored.

An old Quaker went into a booksell-
er's shop, and an impertinent shopman,
wishing to have some sport at his ex-
pense, said to him:
"You are from the country, are you
not?"
Yes" replied the Quaker.
"Then here is just the thing for
you" responded the man, holding out
the book.
what is it?" asked the Quaker.
at is an Essay on Rearing
Donkeys.'
Friend" said the Quaker, thee had
better present that to thy mother
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28

of Sir Frank Lockwood something that
would make a stuffed bird rejoice?
And those who listei:cd to the splen.
dor Of merriment which he could i'm
part by that laugh realize the intense
value of that emotional exercise"
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28

Do you ever think of the irrevocable
nature of speech? You may find,
years after your light word was
spoken spoken, that II made a whole
life unhappy. or ruined the peaes OF
a household Stopford Brooke
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28
Alibi.

AllDl.
Father (having caught his son in
a lie)-Havent always told you to
tell the truth?
Son-Yes, father; but you also told
me never to become the slave of a
habit.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28

Lots of people who areSthoro. .ghly
convinced that we shall know each
other in heaven succeed admirably in
forgetting each other here.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28
sHAKE INTO YOUR suoEs

Aliens Foot Ease, the Antlseptc powder for Tired.
aching, swollen, nervous feet. Gives rest and
comfort Makes walking n delight Sold everywhere
26c. Don't accept any substitute. For FREE
sample, address Allen 4. olnsted, Lo Roy, NY
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28

Mrs Winsiow's Soothing syrup for ChildrcI.
teethng, softens the gums, reduces inhammn.
ton. allayS pain, cures wind collie, 25c n bottle.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28
He Wondered.

'What do you think of my hat,
dear? l bought it at a great reduc-
tion."
Good heavens! What size was it
before they began to reduce it?"
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28

For a trainwrecker no punishment
can be too severe.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28
Important to Mothers
Indefinite.

did you have fun taking his candy
away from the baby?"
Fun? My dear boy. 1t was a
scream!"
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-07-28

oRCE, picturesqueness and abil-
ity in congress knows no Sec
tions. Northorners, southern
ers, fasteners and westerners
have their strengths and their
weaknesses, their likes and their
dislikes, their physical manner
isms and their mental idiosyn-
crasies just like all other human
beings.
There have been men in con-
press who wear in and year out
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13
CYNTHIA GREY'S
CORRESPONDENTS

Dear Miss Grey-What will clean
brown kid silk-lined gloves?-Sir
Frederick.
A-Put gloves on the hands and rub
with flannel dipped In naphtha. Wipe
dry with clean white flannel. Re
move gloves and hang In air to dry,
Be careful about fire.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13

German classes OF the high schools
and it was thought that to have the
pupils see the acted version would be
"a great help in their continued study
of the German language, and litera-
ture.
The reserved seat sale opened, Mon
day morning, in Grinnell's for the So
ciety entertainment Echoes OF $780,
to be given In Columbus hall, Feb. IL,
II and Is, for the benefit OF the Frank
Inst. settlement. The performance
promises TO be an excellent one for
amateur talent, under the clever d.
rection OF Donald Mcdonald, and will
be played to three crowded houses.
judging from the great demand for
tickets. Friday evening, following
the performance, dance will be CIV
en- for those taking part and limited
number of guests. Tickets for the
dance may be procured, in the Grin
nell box office, or from Mrs. ]. Murfin.
who is chairman OF the dance COM
mittee. The entertainment will OFFER
all the. latest song hits, many original
and pretty dances and will conclude
with the presentation OF the Bernard
Shaw comedy, How He Lied to Her
Husband" acted by Mrs. Murfin. Will
liam Talman and Frederick Stearns.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13
Red BLo0ded american Heroes

Somewhere beyond the skyline OF
the east n fleet of powerful Spanish
war vessels were steaming toward the
main. None knew what day the
giants OF the sea would appear on the
horizon, bear down upon American
cities and lombard them.
But our own scouts Of the sea were
not idle, and when they had located
the Spanish feet in Santiago harbor
on the southern coast OF Cuba, the
whole country breathed easier.
Schley, commanding our Atlantic
squadron, halted at the entrance to
the harbor. He knew the first ship
to enter would be blown to smither-
Gems by the Spaniards.
A council OF war was held. Some
one must go ahead with that first ves-
sci, sink itsin the harbor, and bottle
'lip the Spaniards.
Every man in the American fleet
was willing to risk his life at the
dangerous business, but Lieut.. Hob
son was chosen with few brave
men.
Night fell on June 3. 1898, dark
and silent. Hobson, on board the col
lier Merrimac, steamed toward the
harbor entrance. All lights were un-
der cover in the Merrimac. but to-
ward the shore there were red Sits
I'm the night--the lights that told Hob
son where the enemys ships were rid
ing at anchor. The great search
flights OF the Spanish flagship flashed
up and down the harbor. Hobson
knew lie could not long avoid that
searching eye. But he lay low with
his men.
And then-the full blaze OF the
searchlight lowered for moment
|, over the Merrimac, and settled like
an angle Of death upon the silent
craft.
Boom.
A shore battery had spoken, and
the waves parted with tremendous
splash where the shot had cut the
|, water SO close that the spray splashec
the boat.
Boom! Another shot tore away the
rudder OF the American ship.
In this condition Hobson knew nc
could not make the harbor's mouth
and sink the Merrimac crosswise. he
did the next best thing-hred a fuse
leading to the powder magazine ane
left the boat lying parallel with the
channel. The men plunged into the
warm water. A resounding explosion
sent the rigging of the Merrima'
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13

hurtling through the air. The men
swan for these bits of wreckage and
chung to them.
For two-three-four-hours they
remained in the water clinging to the
debris, while the seaechlights played
up and down the bay.
Then out OF the night came the
mufhed sound of 4 launch. The ex.
haust grew louder and louder and
three or foG- men standing up In he
boa. took form rs they approached
You are brave fellows said a
kind voice. il was Cervera himself,
and the brave Spanish admiral with
his own hands drew the exhausted
Americans out OF the water.
Hobson and his men were made
prisoners, with honorable treatment,
and later were exchanged for Span
ish prisoners OF war.
When Cervera q fleet was finally
destroyed, and the gallant Slaniard
was himself prisoner Of war he
and Hobson had many pleasant chats.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13

To bake cake evenly, set pan con-
tanning batter In another pan several
sizes larger, containing water Cake
In inner pan will not scorch.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13
Ha!Ha!H .,H.,

Thst's the wsy to fsel-EVBRY ONE
does that takes . CASCARRT night
BEFORE, whsn he looks st the fsllsw
who didn't. For OVBR-BATING and
DRINKING nsthinl ON Rarth cleans you
out - CASCARET, naturally -easily.
without that upset sick feeling. Don't
neslect-at bed tims-9 p. M. or 4 a. M.
mo di6erenos--you'll need IL.
cAscARErs roc . bex for q weeks
treatment, all druggists. Biggest seller
In the werid. Million bsxes mouth-
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13
RETURNS PRIMARY PETITIONS.
Secretary Of State Sends Back Papers
In Accordance With Supreme
Courts Decision.

LANSING. Michi., Feb, 13.-(Spe'
cial. ITO all of the candidates fol-
judicial positions, whose circuits are
within single county, the secretary
OF state is returning the petitions filed
at his Office before the supreme court
decided that these petitions could be
filed with the county clerk in whose
county the candidate resides. The
petitions of the fourteen candidates in
Wayne county have been returned.
AS Monday Is legal holiday the
candidates will have until four o'clock
tomorrow to record their petitions.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13

Dear Miss Grey--what viii remove
stove blackening from red serge?--
Marlette.
A-Gasoline or chloroform. II gas
oline is used, be careful about fire.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13

scription for freeing the head nom
acknowledgements.
AID Yes. Plain paper IL always
good form. however. CD shampoo
scalp every 10 days with hot Dorax
water and CASTLE soap. Take one
pint hot borax water, make q lather
with the soap. and massage thorough
ly into. scalp. Leave IS minutes, mas
saying head In meantime, and work
ing In more lather. Rinse thoroughly
and dry. For use each night. rub
small amount OF the following tonic
well into scalp:
Resorcinal, parts.
Glycerin, 80 parts.
Rose water. 80 parts.
Water, 80 parts.
Dear Miss Grey--What will remove
stove blackening from red serge?--
Marlette.
A-Gasoline or chloroform. II gas
oline is used, be careful about FIRE.
Dear Miss Grey-Please give recipe
for Irish stew.--Mrs. Con.
A-Cut l pound OF neck OF beef
into small pieces. Simmer until near
ly done. then season and add 2 onions,
2 carrots. 2 potatoes and a stalk OF
celery cut into dice. When done
serve on platter, meat in center.
vegetables around edge.
Dear Miss Grey-Do the Chinese
use the universal music,-H. l..
A-No.
Dear Miss Grey: % What sort
OF wrap is appropriate to wear with
black beaver hat trimmed with
plumes and q touch or gilt? CD Is q
suit proper for woman OF 40? ca
How-do you use ammonia and perox-
ide TO remove superfiuous hsir?--
Constant Reader.
A.: (D A long half-ftting black
coat. CD Yes. CD Use them alter
nately daily.
Dear Miss Grey: What will take
apple stain out OF India linen Mrs
c. s.
A.: It 10 almost impossible to re
move fruit stains after hot water has
been unsuccessfully used. but some
times alcohol will do 1t.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13

Gather all sleeve-tops, skirts and
everything you can on the ruffler, and
save the time of gathering by hand
or stitch with a loose tension and
long stitch and then pull the threads
until you get the required fullness.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13
FASHIONS.

~
Violet is without doubt the ia
|, vorite perfume OF the day. Its scent
is very lovely when 1t is only family
discernible.
Corsages are light and FUZZY, but
&c IN decreed by Dame Fashion that
they must harmonize with the cos
. tune.
Among the latest coats in Paris are
those that are narrow and semi-6tted.
or three-fourths fitted Some OF them
are caught at the back with barrette
!. after the fashion OF those worn on the
coats of the officers OF the dragons.
"A very beautiful afternoon costume
IN made OF mole gray satin and Is nm
ished with a velvet band on the skirt
and with q sash of velvet that passes
round the waist and falls in straight
\ ends at the left side.
Marabou feathers are much used,
and, as the latest novelty, COCKS
feathers dyed to match the primary
color OF the gown have arrived.
Lady finger sandwiches are dainty
y % pass with cream or ices. Split the
LADY fingers. spread layer OF straw
berry Jam between them, and tie each
sandwich with narrow red, white and
blue ribbon.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13

Dear Miss Grey-O The skin OF
my body is very hot. dry and irrit-
able. Kindly tell me something to re-
lieve this condition. CD Ii sulphur
good for the blood Mrs. II. z.
AID When bathing rinse of soap
carefully and dry with rough Turkish
towel, rubbing OF all the dead skin
possible. Then anoint the whole body
with small amount OF cold cream.
CD Sulphur acts as a laxative and by
virtue of relieving the intestinal canal
OF poisons indirectly spares the blood
from the possible absorption OF these
poisons. 1t has no direct beneficial
action on the blood.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13

The mineral output OF Alaska last
year was $17,400,000, of which &c..
$4,000 was gold
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-02-13

Dear Miss Grey-(D Is 1t consid-
cred good taste to use note paper
with monogram engraved at top OF
sheet? CD Can you give me a pre-
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-04-18

In his weekly letter to the Philadelphia
Record, the Trenton correspondent pays a
glowing tribute to Governor Wilson. laud-
Ing him for the reforms he has been able
to get through the Legislature and then
says: Woodrow Wilson was more than
the mere candidate of party for Cover
nor, that II he never does anything more
and he will probably have two more
Legislatures to look after, ETC." Then
the correspondent winds up his letter with
these words: Governor Wilson has grown
steadily. This time next year he will un-
doubleday be-never mind; wait till this
time next year and see things Jump. /"
Now, what is to be inferred from these
two utterances2 From the latter one
might suppose that "by this time next
year" Governor Wilson would be the
nominee for President If such should
happen to be the case, would he have two
more Legislatures to look afterf Next
winter will OF course see him at the same
old stand, but what does the correspond
ent mean by saying he will have two
Legislatures to look after2 If the Cover
nor is nominated for President will he
keep on in the Office he holds until the
National election, and If successful at the
polls for the higher Office will he stick to
| the Gubernatorial chair until he is ready
to be inaugurated2 Or Is there doubt In
the correspondents mind about the cleo
ton of Mr.. Wilson as President, thereby
making it certain he will ''have two more
Legislatures to look after?"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-04-18

EFFORTS are being made to secure the
passage of law which will abolish the
State Firemen's Relief Association and
put the affairs in the hands Of the Com
missioner of Banking and Insurance. Ad-
vocates of the bill, which has been intro
duced In the House of Assembly, claim
that saving of about $1,000 will be
effected. which amount will go into the
treasures of the local associations, which
are distributed in every town of any size
in the state. They collect two per cent.
on the premiums paid to foreign fire as
sociations and the money thus accumulated
is used for the relief of INDECENT fremen
The treasurer of the local association
makes an annual report to the Commits
sioner of Banking and Insurance, also to
the auditor of the state association. Then
there is an annual meeting, the delegates
to which are paid expenses. 1t is con-
tended by many that the state organiza-
ton is of no real value to the local
branches. The money received from local
insurance agents is paid directly to the
treasurer of the latter, and the extra sum
received Is passed through the Office of
the Commissioner of Banking and Insur-
ance. All the officers of the state asso-
citation do is to file reports. hold occasional
meetings and draw good salaries. Take
the Office of auditor. The incumbent is
supposed to look carefully into the affairs
of the local associations, and we cannot
saw that he does not, but it Is certain he
does not pay very many personal visits to
the various associations, at least that is
the case as far as Mount Holly is con-
cerned. The state association is practically
an up-Jersey institution. All of the i'm
portant offices, those drawing good
salaries, are filled By men living in the
neighborhood of Newark, and 1t is use
less for any one else to try and get
slook In" Under the present system OF
collecting moneys the local associations
are as well able to attend to their business
as the state association Is, and with the
matter under the supervision of the Com
missioner oil Banking there will not be
auv danger of harm coming to the fund.
There Is absolutely no necessity for con.
timing the state association, and the bill
to abolish It should be fayorably acted
upon.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-04-18
BUILDING AND LOAN AS

The annual meeting of the Industry Build
ing and Loan Association will be held at the
Office of the Secretary, Rooms and q in the
Gaskill Building, Mount Holly, New Jersey,
on Monday evening, April 2th, 1911, at 7.30
suing year and the transaction of business.
The Annual Report Will be presented and a
new series of stock 1.-THE 39thl will be issued
Subscriptions for stock will be received at the
meeting or by Mr.. K. B. Jones. Treasurer, or
Mr.. Nelson Dew. Pumyea, at Monnt Holly
tions for stock and payments thereon may
be sent by mail.
G.. M. HILLMAN,
Dated April 8. 1911 Secretary.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1911-04-18
.xEcUTOk's NOTICE

ESTATE OF LOUISA Q. MILFORD
Notice is hereby given that an order has
been made by the Surrogate of the county Of
Burlington, bearing date on the eighth day of
February, A, ID. 1911, upon the application of
The West Jersey Trust Company, the subscri-
Der, requiring the creditors of Louisa G. Null
ford, deceased. to bring In their claims against
nation, on or before November 8, 1911 or they
will be debarred of any action therefor against
the said executor.
THE WEST JERSEY TRUST COMPANY,
Percival w. Willis, Proctor.