El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-08-01

cause D6ucEcQ ludI 44C-N
a divine commission to make over a
man-to put my little paper pattern
down on his habits and character, and
cut them over according to my taste.
"Of course, couldn't do it. No
woman can do it. But a great many
women can do just what I did-de-
stroy all the happiness of married life.
and eventually kill love itself, by their
ceaseless efforts to make their husbands
90 their way instead of letting the poor
creatures follow their own inclinations.
And the funny part about this business
is that we women do it, not only with
a clear conscience. but with a sense Of
righteousness We are never so sure
that we are doing our full duty by our
husbands as when we are interfering
with all their pleasures, and little
ways and making them do something
that they don't want to do. We cali
this being a good wife, but men cali it
nagging
sI married a handsome and attract
i've young man. who was pre- eminently
what is known as a good fellow He
had a most charming personality. He
was genial, amiable, kindly, sympa-
thetic, everything that was lovable.
But he was also easy going, careless,
improvident a little too fond Of drink
and pleasure and good times, and not
fond enough of work
Glorious in Youth.
HE was one Of the sort Of men who
are glorious in youth, and pitiful in ola
age. The world smiles upon them when
they are in their twenties. and laughs
at them when they are in their sixties.
All of their promises have been blight
ed in the bud None have Powered into
achievement. Everybody has liked them
but nobody has trusted them with big
Job.
Unfortunately for both OF us 1 was
the complete opposite of my husband in
temperament. I was rigid and narrow
In my views 1 was fearful of the fu-
ture, and, above all, 1 was full of I'M
firing energy I was thrifty and eco
nomical, and obsessed by a certain pas
sion for getting on in the world. I
wanted to be rich, to be important to
have my husband take a commanding
position in the world of men, and to
have accomplished that I would gladly
have worked my fingers to the bone,
and lived upon bread and water.
81 think no man can ever even
family realize what it means to an am
bilious and energetic woman when the
sickening truth comes home to her
that she is married to a man who els
lazy and shiftless, ard whose only as
piration is to escape all effort, and just
to be annually content with a full
stomach and q warm place in which
to stay. 1t Is a revelation that sears
the woman's very soul and fills her,
even il she is a good woman, with a
bitterer contempt for him than If she
had discovered that he were a bandit
or q craftsman.
IT know that that was my case.
looked at my husband, strong and
healthy and capable of any amount of
work. but who, Iolled about the house
as supine as a jellyfish, making no at
tempt to climb the ladder Of success
just satisfied to make a little and |
spend it all, and trust to luck that we |
would never come to want. and 1 felt |
that would die of vicarious shame for D
him. I
Tried to Rouse Him.
Then I began my foolish and futile |
efforts 70 make him over. tried to in |
spire ambition in him. 1 tried to rouse |
him to effort I tried to make him |
ing.
81 tried to break up all his old COM |
to make him come home
at regular hours, to make him quit !
drinking. and playing cards, and vast |
ing his time and money in foolish |
pleasures.
'sThe result was that so far as he was |
I simply alienated him from |
me. Instead of a wife 1 became to him |
simply feared and abhorred school /
mistress, a. mentor that never permitted |
him to rest in peace. and TO whom he |
was forever making lying excuses 10 |
cover up his shortcomings.
Il know new how he must have |
dreaded to come home to meet my ac- /
cusing eye how the shadow OF my dis
must have always hung over |
him. now, at last. he musta have been
glad to die to get rid of my eternal I
nagging about those things which he
did and which he left undone,
LAS for myself all that 1 got out of |
the situation was unending failure and /
disappointment. kept myself always
worked up into ferment of protest.
was trying to do the impossible. reach
Ing out for the unattainable, and 1t
kept my nerves always on the ragged
edge.
And 1t was all to no purpose. Turn
ing an invertebrate creature into an
animal with a backbone is a matter OF
aeons Of time. It isn't miracle that
1 little fool bride can accomplish in
Is minutes With all of my efforts
could not change the character of my
husband any more than 1 could change
he color of his hair. Nature had set
led all Of that before was ever born,
1ut what 1 could DO was to make both
Of us perfectly wretched, and I was
sminently successful in that
If
IF 1 had to live my married life over
gain 1 should simply accept the sweet,
md let the bitter go. 1 should take my
husband as ! found him, and not try
o alter him. I should enjoy TO the
fullest his genia1ity. his bright and
heery, and optimistic outlook on life.
should warm myself at the fire of his
Election and enfold myself in his ten
erness.
In that way I should, at least, get
omething out of life, while as it was
got nothing, for / fell between the
tools I could not change MIN, put IN
rying to change him 1 killed our love,
nd lost what happiness we might have
ad.
ITO the last day of his life my hus-