davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16
kickers.

There are three kinds of kickers;
mules, shot guns and some men. The
mule kicks because he was born that
way: the shot gun because it was built
that way. and the human being because
i is a right thoughtlessly granted to
him by the constitution.
The human kicker is divided into two
kinds-acute and chronic. The acute
kicker kicks because he has something
to kick at. He kicks until he removes
the object and then subsidies. His all
ment Is more violent. but he usually re-
ever, there Is no hope. He must kick
to live. Nature a shamelessly con-
nected his lungs with his hind legs. and
the only way to stop his kicking is to
shut OF his breath. This was often
done in the good old days when human
life was SO cheap that q patriot could
60 out with an axe. n get enough
culls and econd for a mess any day
without objection. But nowadays, we
have to let the kicker live. The most
we can do to him is to elect him to Of
nee or encourage him to buy a racing
automobile.
The chronic kicker standA forever in
the road with his heels pointed towards
progress. He kicks on taxes. on street
paving. on Improvement, societies. on
congress-, on the price Of salt. on the
supreme court, on the minister of his
church. on the plan to take up a col
lection for the families of %squashed
.nremen. on the speed and slowness and
heat and chilliness and bigness and
smallness OF street cars. on the design
Of the hotel table cloth. on the size of
Sunday newspapers. On the weather, on
the sun. on the public. on the universe.
on the neglect of nature In not pro-
viding children with muffled exhausts,
and on the virulent color of the nice
green grass.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16

appendix is rot reduced. but the sur
geon's bill can. by con and economy, be
reduced In installments to q normal
size.
A great many people have had ex-
plorations made In their interiors bv
surgeons in search of appendicitis and
most of them have survived. It Is not
dangerous to have the appendix taken
out. providing the surgeon removes all
Of his tools from the premises. and does
not present his statement until the pa
tient is quite strong. When the pa
tient has recovered. he is given his ape
pendix imprisoned In a bottle of alco-
hol. and travels home in first and Sec
ond sections like a h~omeseeker's train.
People who have no appendix are arro-
CANT about it-as arrogant as people
who have no pasts. Between people
who have been divorced from their ap.
pendixes and people who have been to
Europe. life Is hardly worth living Tor
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16

long tifnc until spring. and that death
by freezing is particularly sad. inc that
unless % pay your last winters coal
OH pretty soon, you will have to go to
bed to keep warm. A November wind
Is more pessimistic than anything on
earth, except a Wall street operator
during a spasm of public honesty.
November was invented by the Roln-
ans who did so many terrible things in
the early Christian era. 1t was so
named because it was the ninth month
at that time. The growth of business
month since then. both of them being
OF much better quality.
In November automobiles. %croquet
and lawn socials begin their long win
ter's sleep, but football is very popular
because it is easier to keep warm In a
football game than it is in a house
where h furnace is being repaired.
Football in November is a game to de-
eide whether the player will dent the
ground or the ground will dent the
player. The ground usually wins.
Corn husking and riding to the polls
popular outdoor sports during this
month.
There are three great uses for the
month of November. 1t kills malaria.
flies n political campaign. None Of
these are able to survive the climate of
eAiS iaou!il. II IL were not LOT NoVeln-
Der political campaigns might go on
right up to Christmas and entail vast
suffering among the rich. Most of our
public officials are elected in Novem-
Der. but we cannot Justly blame the
month for his.
November was first put prominently
on the map by the Pilgrim fathers.
About 1880. when they discovered that
there were only q few days of the
month left they Instituted a Thanksgiv-
ing festival. which has been observed
Yer since with increased gratitude and
devotion as each November has worn
away.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16
Appendicitis.

Appendicitis Is something that usually
q new automobile.
Fifty years ago nobody heard of APP
pendicitis. Also no one heard of the
automobile. Now q nan cannot be said
70 be up to date unless he has had APP
pendicitis. while the doctor and the au-
lomobile are boon companions.
Appendicitis is a peculiar pain in the
region of the vest pocket. which is later
transferred to the region Of the check
book pocket. 1t is snid by some people
to be q disease. Others claim 1t to be
q fad, while the doctor regards 1t as
an opportunity. 1t comes from an in
surrection Of the vcrmtform appendix.
= small annex to the intestine. There
10 two ways Of curing It. 1t can be
Sduced by outside manipulation. or 1t
On 30 cut out, In the latter case. the
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16

the common skate who can afford to.
have alterations and improvements
made on them every ear or 20.
The appendix was formerly a menu.
Der in good standing Of the humar3
body. but It was discovered that 1t was
not only useless. but stirred up trouble;
by diverting objects from their proper
path through the human system and:
then getting swelled up over 1t. When,
this was found out the doom of tho!
appendix WAS sealed. Thus it IL evident
that the appendix II no politician. AZ
swelled up and q divert anything
from an assistants salary to u grand
piano from the body polite and yet
the people very rarely cut him out.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16
Pert Slaps at the News

Business must obey the law. says Wick
ersham. What = cruel hArdship-New
York American.
New York is to spend sss,ooo.ooo on edu-
cation next a 1t needs every cent of
tt.-~Philadclphja Inquirer.
Packers utilize all the hog but the
squeal. At least something is left for the
consumer.-Walt Street Journal.
Mr.. Carnegie should lose no time In
sending n Of his famous hero medals
to the editor Of the New York Tribune.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16

The kicker is usually BORN on Friday.
because that is the worlds unlucky day.
He begins criticizing his food on the
Gay of his birth. When he grows up,
he has to approach his fellow men from
the real in order to say good morn
and when he dies the undertaken issues
orders to the herse driver to drive
slowly. and avoid all iolts. The Egyp-
tians invented embalming. at a time
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16
VEST POCKET ESSA YS
By George Fitch.
illustrations BY William Stevens
George Fitch.
illustrations BY william st.vsoa

in grocery stores. and bygone wars
have been made 10 times more horrible
by the deeds of gallant braggers who
have thoughfully preserved themselves
In time of strife behind a gum tree
In order to annthilate the foe later
on In q moro healthy atmosphere.
The bragger IL q happy Man because
he can always find some one to believe
him. He lives In an atmosphere Of
glory and admiration. and as he sup
plies most at II himself. he never runs
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16
November.

November, a month which is now lie.
ing introduced by the calendar for tho
1911th time in the hope of making 1t
popular is a 3O-day sentence imposed
by nature on humanity and served out
principally under an umbrella.
November Is a month which would
like to become winter. but which hasn't
quite, got the nerve: 1t is usually COM
posed of 10 rainy days. 10 cloudy days
and 10 snowy days or freezing days
with u pinch Of sunshine between the
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16

who is defending the Payne-Aldrich tasife
act. q Pioneer-Fress.
With respect to trusts we are IN =
transition period.-The president. Az. sir:
and the great fear Is that we are In more
OF q transition period han they ars.-In-
d~ianapolis News.
John D. Rockefeller got his FIRST ana
only job IS years ago and has 1ust been
celebrating the wen. The men who ~
their Jobs because Mr.. Rockefeller did noe
stick to his have not had their colahrse
tion yet.-Nsw York World.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16

Heaven is full of kickers whom the
other place has seen coming. Besides
a kicker is usually too busy objecting
to do anything bad. But it has been
so arranged in Heaven that when a
kicker begins to kick. he has t. stop
flying. This gives the other angels a
chance to escape. for thus far no kicker
has yer been able to aviate beyond the
ground floor.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16
Providence is on the side of the college
1xyffl, tho mach 1,,,,rCE

with the most lungs.
Roofing is the most useful feature,
Of football. While the game itself may
develop a few hundred pairs of arms
and legs, roofing is developing the lung
capacity OF $4,000 young people. One,
may become a good rooter by practicing
at home. Go out every evening and
spend a few minutes talking with a
friend in the mex county. Continue;
until he asks you if you think he is
deaf. Then go joyously to college and
enroll. The team needs YOU.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16

various d1V1s1OnS. It Is usefuI beCaUSe
It makes December seem pleasant in
comparison.
In November tile trees finish disrob-
Ing and as they ray their bare limbs
against the sky, the wind converses
through them. There Is nothing more
talkative than a November wind. Along
about 10 p. M. on a bleak damp night.
q November wind likes nothing better
than to come along and hang around
the entire evening, reminding you that
the rent is almost due, and that it is a
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16

short. We need never worry about try
ing to praise a bragger. because what
ever We say liz a pale nothing to What
he thinks.
BraggerE make themselves very use
full to quite busy men by talking in
stead of competing with them. and IL
they can be trained to go away from
an office whenever a heavy paper
weight is thrown at them. they need
them first.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05

Thomas Stevens. of Clayton, Del; Mrs.
Rachel /. Stradley, OF Sassafras, Mo-;
Mrs. Archie Biggs, near Chesapeake
City Mrs. Louis P. Atwell, of near Sas-
safras, Nd; Mrs. George Johnston, Of
Galena, Md; Mr.. John Johnston, of Sas-
safras, Md; Mr.. Robert Johnston, near
Sassafras, Nd.
The funeral took place from her late
home at Sassafras on Tuesday last, at 2
o'clock in charge of her pastor, Rev. g.
l. Hill, assisted by Rev. A. P. Pretty
man, of Galena, Nd. Interment in the
Rehoboth cemetery The funeral was
held in the Rehoboth M P. Church. Her
favorite saying through life was Bless
ed are the peacemakers" and her favor
lite hymn, Yes, My Name is Written
There"
Her Bible was her constant compan-
ion and friend through all her trials and
difficulties during her entire life, and
this dear santed and beloved Christian if
we wrote volumes, for everyone loved
her, everyone will miss her. Oh! how
much; but she is gone to that beauti-
full city on high, to that great beyond"
To meet with her loved ones who have
gone only a little while before. Oh!
what a meeting there will be on the
other shore, with husband and wife.
What rejoicing there will be in Heaven
and they'll have another angel on high
Where this dear mother will be most
missed will be in her home by the wild
owed daughter and two children; where
they all lived SO peacefully in one happy
home circle. This happy circle is now
broken,-and this will never seem like
the same home again without that Ii -
Their!
Leaves have their time to fall
Flowers to wither at the north winds
breath,
And stars to set.
But thou hast all season for thy own,
Oh! DEATH"
Written by a cousin
F. E. LAWS.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05

;. House OF Representatives.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnston
An Appreciation By A Friend
,erWnGhIIn

The whole community is in sorrow ant,
mourns with the relatives and frier
over the death of the late Mrs Elizabt %
Johnston. Our little town all seemeds
still, SO sad, because our dearly beloJO
and sainted one is gone. found mys ff
saying The morning on which hearu
the death TO a noise heard in the str
IN front OF my door: Hush, be quth;
please, dear, Mrs. Johnston is dear
Yes! She is gone and The spirit sinr.
return to God who gave it,"
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnston was born
Armagh, Armagh County, ireland, up
July 1lth, 1887. Was married TO iph
late John Johnston July /, 1886 at Pr,
roy, Ireland. Died July -, 1911, at S
safras, Kent county, Md, aged "A yei
Mr.. and Mrs. Johnston came 10 this coRn-
try from Ireland in October, 1856 and
located at Glasgow, Del, and Few
years afterWard they moved 20 lar, e
farm near Sassafras, Md, where they
were very prosperous farmers, and rails
ed large family OF good, devoted child
rem to their parents. The late Mr..
Johnston died one year ago, the husband
fthis sketch and Mrs. Elizabeth john
ston is survived by eight children and 2S
grandchildren and two great great grand
children. The children are Mrs George
T. Murray. OF Sharon Hill Pa; Mrs.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05
q CecilJ Whi6 q
Fifty Years Ago
ELkTON, AUGUST 3, 1861.
THE MARKETS.
Wheat, $I.oo to $I.o3; corn, Is
cents; oats, "a cents.
DI ED.

Carson. On the Goth ult., Mag
gle, infant daughter of Samuel r.
and Virginia E. Carson, aged three
months.
TAYLOR. On Sunday last at his
residence near Lords factory, Mr..
Robert Taylor, aged SO years.
Miller. Hon. Samuel Miller
died at his residence, near this
town, on last Tuesday morning
He was a member o; the House OF
Delegates from this county in
I855-I85o.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05
COMPULSORY
EDUCATION
Chat With A Woodbury. On The Sub
ject--Mill People To Fight 1t.
Farmers Oppose 1t

To the Editor The cotton
duck mills at Woodbury., Balti-
more, are known throughout the
world. Here is a chat with a IA
Their of eight children:
Father-Yes, | am the father of
eight children, and some of them
work in the mill.
Livesey-Do they work for
starvation wages?
F.-Not much. My girl of FL
makes $I8 week on piece work
and my smallest boy $I.Io day.
L.--But they say the mills use
up the children-kill them off be-
fore their time-give them con-
sumption from dust and all that.
F.-Nothing of the kind; they
like the mill work-it's good for
them and the air in the mill is as
good as that in my parlor. l
worked in the mill myself when
little boy, and only made $40 a
month.
Lit don't seem to have killed
you, and you seem to be getting
around the world doing a big
days work every day. But what
are you going to do about this
proposed law that the club Wo-
men, suffragists and other rich
people want: 1t will put all your
children in school until sixteen.
FIVE are going to fight this
thing, every one OF us. The mill
owners, the superintendent and
the people are all against it. Why
it would stop the mills and bring
starvation to lots OF poor widows
with six children who are now
getting along well enough.
L.-Then you don't think that
people like Mrs. B. w. Corkran,
with one child, ought to have all
the say in matters relating to other
peoples big families.
F.-No sir And | tell you, we
are not going to have it.
L.-Well, then. you must get
busy and see to it that no man is
elected that favors compulsory
education. Mrs. Corkran goes
right for the legislators and YOU
must do the same.
FIVE must indeed--thats
what we will do.
L.-You believe in public
schools, ! SUPPOSE
F.-O, yes; | believe in them,
and ! belong to three patriotic or
ders that believe in God, Country
and Public School," but | don't
want any more Of this compulsory
education-it is bad enough now
to say what children shall do I'M
til they are IL.
L.-Can then put it down So
fact that all the mill operators, a.
their parents. all the superinten' :,
ents and all the owners are Oh,
posed to the club Women's prt
posed compulsory education Law
F.-Hes, sir, every one Of the, i,
they are opposed to it most de.t;,
perately. w ~
So much or the mills. | met -,
man who had been trayeliia
around asking country DeO1
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05
BURNED TO DEATH.

Miss Mary Z. Dcvelin, a young
lady of Chesapeake City, was bad
ly burned on Saturday last, by
having her clothes set on fire by
burning fluid. The accident oc-
Cured in the store of Mr.. Thomas
Conrey. A boy was drawing fluid
from a barrel near which a light
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05

MARYLAND has ne
Governor the equal of d.
Crothers-if one is to est
as he estimates himself il,
less public speeches. UNI;
ly for him, the people ar
ing him more discerning
political career lies al
months away from the Sis
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05

l. >. House OF Representatives..
THE FEELING IN ELK NECK
An Elk Neck correspondent
says notwithstanding the re-
verse OF the Federal arms, the
Union feeling in Elk Neck is
stronger than ever, and never has
there been frmer determina-
ton to adhere to the old Flag than
at the present time.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05

-o1-f11s- cultural States would in by
30 much get their revenges and lie
hght' the general good of the ng
III going The Senator will not be Ish
hard to put it upon the grouron
Every, venge. The basis of the he
who had nation will be its iniust3o
tons - when you take away fr
he lives American producer the
shrink market place and trade
o down foreigner the cornerstone :
too out great system has been to
h to the and it will fall just as :in
For our that transpires. There is y
and not hope against that PROPOSE
lnting to that is the fact that this
ng. We which would so barter Z,
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05

WE certainly supposed tn =,
the Democrat, after being 1,
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05

made to have his sentence COM
nuted. but Gov. Hicks has at
length signed the death warrant.
SUNDAY SCHOOL PICNIC.
The Elk Mills, Parke's Mills,
Cherry Hill and Carriers Sunday
Schools, combined, will hold a
picnic in Mr.. Hasson's woods,
near Cherry Hill, next Thursday.
WOUNDED AT MANASSAS.
Enoch Cantwell, formerly OF
this county, son OF Mr.. John Can't
well, Overseer OF the Aims House,
in athe r1;.4.1dara at
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1911-08-05
SUNDAY SCHOOL PICNIC.

3 accrracy = OF . hi; I s;taateemfe at
be questioned. P,
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-08-02
AT the Motion Picture Shows

when Man Loves"
Drean1---"The Clowns Baby" AS
Fate Decreed.- She Came. She
Saw. She Conquered"
Photo Pastimes - THE Dolls
House." "Jim Crow" THE Picnic.
Wsshington--"The Cowboys Va
cation" ~Plucky BilI," The Lihe-
man"
Grown The Seminoie's Sacri-
flee" 1.-THE Spirit OF the Light.
"Dobbs the Dauber." THE Child
and the Tramp"
Idssf--~Mutt aud jeff" THE En-.
gagement Ring" The Tables
Turned"
cisy-"The Shot From the Bush. .
The Last Drop OF aWter." THE
Strategy OF Anne
Lyceum-O'Del Hart q Howard.
comedy act. "The Profligate, al
the Gringo."
Mine--"Jimmie the Detective"
"In tho Shadow Of Mt. vesuvius."
Bijou "The Settlers Wife,
Her Choice, THE Parting OF the
Trails"
Acme-"Mutt and jeff. THE En-.
gagement Ring, Just for Her.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-08-02

ton came along and showed me
into the iimelight-"
Sam Ia fine old boy. Just the
same, and he has fine family
Mrs. Sam IL one Of It's best mem
bers and has been big help to
her husband In turning my 1876
acres into money. They have a
fine. outstanding boy Of 81. named
Raymond. who also has a fine wife,
and lives at home with the old
folks and helps With the farming
The ladies'. by the way. aren't any
more pulled up over being the cen
trail women Of the country than the
father is over being the central
man.
The three other children OF Mr..
and Mrs. Wilson we're girls and
have married and left home.
so long for this time. You'll
probably hear from me again be.
fore the merit decennial census. In
the last 10 years I've heard n lot
Of the old center OF population.
which used to be 81 miles east Of
me. I suppose ten years later Ill
be left 30 or 40 miles behind.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-08-02
how THEY BLEW in
POLITICAL JACKPOT

they were IN Chicago. lie teatl.
fled that Browne told him that he
tisrowncl should get more money
out OF the Jackpot than did the
other legislators because. being
leader of tho parsy In the iegiala.
tnrc. no riskcd more.
White admitted that he got 1900
out ~ the jackpot and said he used
the money 20 pay his expenses
while he was preparing 60 expocc
the whole affair. and that he had
takcn the hribe In the first place
solely with the idea OF showing
up" the corruption prevalent In the
legislature. White declared he be-.
lieved he was Justified in accepting
and spending tho hrihe money be-
cause In that way he could yet In
formation II would otherwise have
been impossible To secure.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-08-02

Crsnd--"The Stranger In Camp"
drama: ~Conaueriug Carrie" com,
edy; Raising Ostriches In Egypt"
educational. Herring Fishing in
BouIogne." industrial: Modes and
Customs OF the Hindus." education
al; Kustis and His Trained Roos-
tiers: Eleanor La Van. character
artistic; Musical Fletcher.
~ircuit--"The Tale Of Soldiers
Ring" romance; "A Gay Time in
Atlantic CITY," comedy: Quest OF
Gold" drama: Master Sydney
Ferney. vocalist; Reginald Watts.
organist
Nztionsi--"Buil Riding In Chilli"
"The Return OF Widow Pogson's
Husband" The Tie That Binds,
"The SherIffs Warrant"
odeon-"The Ghost" THE Lure
of Vanity"
Eshibit-"By the Aid of the
1ariet." ION a Tramp Steamer.
Her Gypsy Lover" "The Bewil-
dered Lover"
Afssks--"The Battle Of Red.
wood" The Victim OF Hate. .
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-08-02
THE SEATTLE STAR


TO MAIL 50 BseHIBERs The date
whom youf subscription expires 70 on tbs
address label % your paper. when tbst
date arrives ~ your subscription has not
again besn paid In advance. your name
II taken from tho list. change OF GATE
"a the address Iabai II a fsceipt
by mail (strictiy In advanced. 10 rsnfs
q month up 10 ak months. six snontha
tf70. one year. - %
ny mail. out 81 etss. 40 cents per month
up 20 sir months. sls months. si.Io. one
year, fafs
For the conrgnisnce OF our readers. We
have established agencies at the follow
ting drug stores
r. n. Mnll~n. $500 Ballard Az. Phons
rrswn rbsrma~y. corner 18th AZ. and
E Pins. East bsts Ind. Cedar iztt.
Mountain View Drug store. corner fsrd
and Aurora. North as, Green 81.
Fremont Drug Co, fremont Az. ana
Ewing st North ifes. Green ~.
south Park Pharmacy. Sass Dallas sv'
sidney isz
Cherry street Pharmacy. corner ssrd
av and y. Cherry 81. Phones East H.
Cedar tks.
Ajsras Drug ssors. ssth and orssn-
wood sv Phone North 81.
Ads taken 10 20 III a, m.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-08-02
VETERANS REUNION

The annual reunion OF King
county veterans viii take place to
morrow ut Woodland park There
viii be a complete program for the
morning. afternoon and evening.
Speeches and siorlea OF wardaya
will be in order. a campfire will be
built. and Il will be one grand 70.
union OF the old soldiers, The
election OF officers viii also take
place tomorrow.