davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

The Washington Post says "HonOra-
BILE Blue-eyed Billy sheehan would
make a dandy glue ad" Yes, or q
sticking plaster.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

Stage Manager Bryan had better
hurry or he will not get all the parts
assigned by April 4.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

II the democrats want to make 8
real hit they will make the extra SEES
sion extra short.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

twenty-five pillow companies
merge. News item. That is what
we may call gang" pillow.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

Those bloodhounds evidently do
better in the south, where they are
not 80 particular about catching the
right negro.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

Abe Reuf says a zebra is prettier
than a horse. What suggested stripes
to the man?
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

AS compromise candidate for SEN
ator in New York why has no one pro-
posed the Honorable Dick Croker?
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

That was tough Jolt Jack Frost
gave the ice man, anyway.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29
The Bees Letter Box

Contributions on Timely Subjects
Not Exoeoaing Tive hundred words
Are Invitsd from Our Raadsrn.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29


FREMONT Neb March 25.-To the Ed
tor Of The Bee This is a cry for help
from the Nebraska Good Roads associa-
ton In its fight for the passage Of the
joint committee road bills now before the
legislature. I am assuming that you are
in accord with the spirit OF these measures
The house has indefinitely postponed two
Of the three important measures of the
Joint committee and has passed for third
reading the county highway commissioner
bill with many amendments greatly weak
enlng II. The senate has passed to third
reading three Of the measures. viz: the
state highway commission bill, state aid
for county bill, the county highway com
missioner bill, and, II is hoped, that by
the time these bills come up again in the
house for consideration that enough light
can be thrown upon the subject to enable
the house to pass the three measures as
they stand.
/ do not hesitate to make this request
for help because / know that your paper
is vitality interested in the general pros
perity Of this state, and we believe there
are no measures before the legislature
now that win mean so much to the people
as will these good road measures should
they be enacted into laws. The very idea
of Nebraska expending every year approx
matey 5000, 900 on her highways with two
and -haf-doll men as supervisors Of
the expenditures is ridiculous in the ex-
treme. and that is exactly the condition
under which our highways are constructed
and. maintained.
l also wish to call your attention to H. r.
673 which ought to be defeated.
DAN V. STEPHENS,
Chairman Legislative Committee Nebraska
Goods Roads Association.
Wants Physical Phone Connection.
OMAHA, March 27.-To the Editor of The
Bee: l have carefully read the mastery
argument in favor Of a legalized telephone
monopoly as presented by the president OF
| the Nebraska Independent Telephone sys-
| tenn. In forceful. dignified language he as
serts the necessity of telephone monopoly
because:
! Flrst-The present laws do not prevent
the absorption of the smaller companies.
second-If merger is not legalized, com.
petition will be abolished by illegal means
Third-There is no way at present OF
preserving the integrity Of toll connections
Fourth-It will abolish the dual telephone
annoyance.
| Let US examine these arguments IN ORDER
The present Junkin antitrust law in tn,
plainest conceivable language prohibits tn,
creation of moDOpolies. 1 have never heart
a doubt as to the inclusion Of telephone
monopoly in its prohibitions until within
the last sixty days. II there is any doubt
amend the present bills to prohibit no
permit such monopoly.
In the second place we are threatened
that unless monopoly is permitted, ir
pursuance Of law it will come in spite o.
law. The Bell trust has been trying jus
that thing for the last fifteen years in THU
state. Today it has its back to the wal
fighting for its life in Nebraska.
The third and fourth arguments SHOULD
be considered together, and the answer Il
plain and simple-compulsory physical con
nection under commission supervision.
LYSLE /. ABBOTT
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

Not even its name could keep tn,
battleship Texas out of the discard.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29
JEsTs FROM JUDGE.

Lord de Broke-Angela, my queen See,
| leave my fortunes in your hands!
Angela-You flatterer Are they really
80
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

1t is a smart man who can tel
where radicalism begins and conserva
tism ends
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

About the only way an Indian can make
an honest Twin nowadays Is by playin' foot
ball or posin in front of cigar store with
a bunch of wooden cheroOts In his hand.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

SteIa--What causes her nsomnia2
Bella-She takes so many beauty eNer-
cises before retiring that Il is morning
when she finishes-Harper's Bazaar
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

What do you consider the rarest thing
In the world2'
An oyster containing a pearl that hasn't
been damaged"
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

/ Il hear she married beneath her"
Yes, her husband plays q wretched
game OF bridge Washington Herald.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

II see" said Skaters. that our old friend
Bllkins had a strong article In one OF the
Boston papers the other day.
"RCally?' said Binks, incredulously. II q
never have believed that OF old Blk. What
was it2'
"A recipe for picked onions" said Slate
erS-Harper's Weekly.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

A cigar is like a woman's dress; yor
can never Judge the filling by the wrapper
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

Every dog has his day and ever
rooster his daybreak.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

And who" asked the Sunday school
teacher, who was 1t that cried, oh, king,
live forever, ?''
IAN the life insurance agents" sug-
gested the small boy whose father was an
adjuster.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

and the hair and costume of the present
] dav7'
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

Tell me-" said the society woman who
had consented to meet the well-knoWn
actress, "how you manage about your
photographs"
DO you mean how l manage to supply
the demand for them?'
No How do you manage to have them
show the face you had twenty years ago
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

Aesop was writing his fables.
II hope" he said, this will not consu-
tute me member of the Ananias club"
so, although he made them short, they
were not ugly.--Chicago Tribune.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

u.
Broker-Then you've got no kick. That's
between s and $500, isn't it?-Catholic
Standard and Times.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-29

Investor (angrily-See here! You told
me l. surely clear between five and six
hundred dollars on that deal
BrokeF-Well?
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20

r HE tiny representatives of all the
L nations represented at the national
capital celebrated Christmas, each
with some peculiar custom brought
from his own far-off land. The Christ
mas idea is one easily caught up by
the foreign child and the talk he hears
for weeks before the happy festival
is just as eagerly listened to by the
little Oriental as by the child to whom
it has always been familiar.
Although the Christian significance
of the Saviours birth is absent from
the Oriental celebration of Christmas,
yet the festival spirit of the season ap-
'peals no less to the boys and girls
from far-off China and Japan than to
their little American playmates. The
Chinese embassy was the scene of
much gaiety during the holiday weeks.
For the eldest of the ambassadors
daughters, Miss Alice Chang, is only
twelve years old all. still retains
many childish tastes. This year the
month-old daughter of the couple, tiny
Nielsen or Mildred Chang, was the
youngest member Of the legation who
came in for Christmas presents.
Santa Claus did not neglect Arkira
and Sada Matsui, the tiny son and
daughter of the counsellor of the JAP
enese embassy, Keishiro Matsui. Ar.
lkira and Sada have been used all
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20

Observation-Disclosures society has
W had nothing that has made it sit
up and take notice in a good while.
But it sure got slap that wakened it
with a jump the other day when
there appeared in a New York news
paper an alleged interview with Bar
oness Hengelmuller Won Hengervar,
the DEAFNESS" of the diplomatic
corps. or, to put it properly, the
doyenne, her husband, Baron Hengel-
muller Won Hengervar, being the dean.
Inc baroness, who has been in New
YORK city, permitted herself to be in
reviewed by a very sprightly young
lady reporter in New York, who on
TWO or three previous occasions has
shown herself to be rather long on
imagination and short on facts. She
directly quotes the baroness as fol-
lows:
washington is dull and stupid. So
c1ety there is provincial To get to
New York is heaven to me, for there
is so much to do besides paying and
receiving calls and callers and drink
ing tea and going through the drier
round of formal and uninteresting So
clal events. We have lived in Wash
lngton 16 years. l have done each
year the same things with practically
the same people. Here in New York
formal calling and tea taking are prac-
tically eliminated, because there are
so many other more interesting things
to do. Even the shops make a differ
ence. Here it is a positive pleasure
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20
Chicago Is to Have Bank for Women

suburb under smaller expense and in
wade the loop when success is as.
sured
In discussing the project. Mrs. Funk
said: "Our bank will explode a the
DRY that has long prevailed in the
minds of a few that women do not
trust women. We will demonstrate
that such a belief is fallacy. Wom-
en- are the money savers of the world
and we will attempt to appeal to
these savers through our trust and
savings departments.
Many women save not only their
own money, but that of their sons
and husbands and brothers. When
women are left dependent they make
special efforts to save, and we will
endeavor to show a class of this sort
that We can help thea. No induce.
ments will be made to obtain stock
holders or to attract depositors. When
the bank is ready for business it will
be found that the hackers are women
OF sufficient financial standing to in
sure good. sound. business PROPOSE
ton.
"Our original idea was to establish
a bank in the downtown business dis
trict. But for the sake of economy,
while becoming established, we de-
c1ded to choose a suburban location.
If the business justifles we will have
a branch downtown. But conserva-
tive policy will control all of our
transactions"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20
'iolate Law Covering Abuse of Coins

on one side and the advertisement on
the other. The number was placed
where the date on a dime is and the
first glance certainly impressed one
as the real coin. The other side had
a sheaf of wheat and in the center the
words ION Time"
The firm had no desire to defraud
the public. But INSCRIPTIONS people
who had access 20 them did. Sew
eral firms and persons lost money by
accepting the advertisement for real
money, chewing gum machines were
filled with them. and at last the So
cret service learned how matters were
and began an investigation There
were Isl, 900 Of the metals confiscated.
Some stray ones, however, we're in cir
culation and 1t took almost a year to
hunt them down."
jewelers. are guilty every day Of
committing a criminal offense. Ac-
cording to the ordinance, to mutilate
money is an offensc in the eyes of the
law. jewelers. file one side of q coin
smooth and monogram it. The other
side is perfectly good. The owner
never means to use the article for
money. But some one gets hold of the
pin or locket They think the money
would be more useful and so pass the
coin with the pin or ring pulled of.
and the good side up.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20
Christmas Among Capitals Asiatics

their little lives to hearing of the
good old Saint Nick, and were happily
pleased at his bounty.
The children of Cou1t de Cambrun,
military attache Of the French en-
bassy, had double Christmas. They
celebrated not only the Jour de PAn''
to which the French adhere, but also
the good old American Christmas, to
which their mother, who was Miss
Longworth Of Cincinnati, the sister of
Representative Longwarth, was &C.
customed.
Christmas was observed in the
South American legations and en-
bassies with great merriment. The
Calvo youngsters of the Costa Rican
legation had an elaborate ''Nacimien-
to-" as Nine. Calvo is an adept in ar
ranging these. She had an entire lit
tie village showing the houses and
people of Costa RIGA. But in spite of
their preference for this picturesque
adjunct of Christmas this did not pre-.
vent Luis and Rafael from hanging up
their stockings in the good American
fashion.
Among the legation youngsters who
this year spent their first Christmas in
Washington are the children of the
newly arrived Norwegian minister, Fl.
H. Bryn. There were high doings"
at the legation, too, for the Christmas
tree is native of Norway and old
Santa Claus thrives best of all in the
climate of ice and snow, to which the
Bryn children were born.
Francis and Leon de la Barra, the
young sons of the Mexican ambassa-
dor, Senior de la Barra, have also spent
their first Christmas in Washington.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20
New York's Big Bridges Are Useless

not located on any main lines of
travel; in short, they do not lead to
or from anywhere
In support of this view they point
out that none of the three bridges
built within the last few years at an
outlay of over $4,000, 900 is used
to more than a small percentage
of it's carrying capacity, while the
Brooklyn bridge, in spite of the efforts
made to divert traffic from it, remains
at the daily rush hours the scene of the
worst congestion and the most indie
cent crowding to be witnessed any.
where in the world.
Moreover, according to the view Of
these experts, bridges are out of date
for the purposes of rapid transporta-
ton, and are far inferior to tunnels.
Just what is to be done with these
expensive luxuries in the form of mag
nificent bridges, If they cannot he
made to fulfill the purpose for which
they were built, is difficult to say.
At a mark-down sale they would
hardly bring 10 per cent of their orig
inal cost. so it is probable that they
will remain where they are in the
hope that the future development If
the city will bring them into greater
usefulness
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20
Table Manners for College Farmers

making noise while drinking water.
and numerous other items of social
etiquette. Now the young men who
are attending the Kansas Agricultural
College and who eat most of their
meals In restaurants went to know
about the social requirements. The
Agricultural College proposes to teach
them
Last summer the state board Of
education adopted a course of morals
AID manners to be taught in the CON-
mon schools. In all country schools
in the state the small boys are re-.
ceiving daily lessons in honesty. ad.
dress and other important parts in the
making Of al upright, moral citizen
OF good manners in social and busi.
ness affairs.
The 1000 Kansas school teachers
were told that the state board re-
Garded the course in morals and man.
ners OF equal importance with read
ing. writing and the ether common
school branches, and the teachers
were instructed to read I'D If thew
did not know and do instruct the chill.
dren how to be good little girls and
boys.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20
Uncle Sans Gunners Are Uneoualed

get shooting held of Cape Henry.
During the practice in which she won
her championship the sailors of the
Idaho shattered targets at 10000 yards
distance. Had the little vessel been
in battle she would have shattered in
five minutes a batteship at distance
Of five miles, had she shot with the
same accuracy.
The gunner begins in the ordnance
shops at Washington, where he is in.
structed in the rudiments of the art.
He Is kept at his studies six days q!
week from eight o'clock in the morn.
ing until four In the afternoon. Before
he is detailed to a ship the apprentice
is given three months instruction In
the handling of high explosives and
taught the workings Of the submarine
mine.
Then he is turned ever to a battle
ship, where he is given the position Of
gun pointer In charge of an Instructor
who knows the business from top to
bottom, and at this gun he sticks un-
til his superiors think him eminently
Trustworthy, when he Is allowed to
participate in maneuvers. Finally he
handles . gun In real war. 81
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20
City Will Pipe Water Long Distance

the water supply is really an under
ground river which comes to the sur
face at this point, forms surface
river of its own for a mile and a
quarter to jump farther down from a
bed % feet above into the Little Man.
qua river. The spring flow reaches
the river with such force that it
shoots half way over the stream be-.
fore its waters fall to mingle with
those of the Little Niangua and flow
away to the northward.
The only practical use made of the
water from this spring is at Brice,
near where it jumps into the river.
There one-seventh of the supply is
turned into mill race to furnish pow
er for a mill.
The water from the spring, in addi-
ton to being pure, is said to possess
medicinal qualities for which it has
some local reputation
The plan Of utilizing the big supply
in Kansas City includes building
pipe line from the spring to the city.
This line would cross nearly all of
Dallas county, for the spring is on it's
eastern border, and all of Jackson
county, for the city is on its western
border. The counties between are
Johnson, Henry, St. Clair and Hick-
DRY. The pipe line would probably
extend over $50 miles.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20
50 )! Ik}si$}S Nv ela1 {
Oily FA 2A .lAALow MEN,

n H1CAGO.-Chicago is to have a
~ bank by women for women on the
proposition that it is the women who
do most of the economizing and conse-
quently have most of the money to
deposit The originator of this bank
ing idea is Mrs. Antoinette Funk.
While bank owned and conducted
by women is not an experiment, the
pioneer Of women's banks being in
Joplin, Mo-. it is an experiment in a
large city. All similar institutions
have been in comparatively small
communities. The announcement
that it is women bank for women
Is also somewhat of N Innovation.
as the other women's banks have
sought business wherever - could be
found, but in the Funk bank mems
business will be tolerated if the de-
positors come we'll recommended.
The bank will be located at Edison
Park. suburb, during the experiment
tai stage, but the real intention is to
establish downtown bank. Because
OF high rent and other expenses. it
was decided to try the idea in the
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20
lDON'T KNOW
WHAT IDlD But
Ill NEVER DO
IT AGAIN !

dE careleSSneSS or ignorance of big
/ firms in observing the federal laws
governing abuse of coins costs them
thousands of dollars yearly. Just re-
Gently a Chicago company came to
grief which would have saved itself
and the government much trouble and
expense If it had read the following
law:
Whoever fraudulently, by any
act, way or means shall deface,
mut:late, impair, diminish, falsify or
tighten the gold or silver coins
which have been or which may here
after be coined in the mint of the
United States shall be fined
not more. than $4,000 and imprison-
ment Of not more than five years."
Some clever advertiser conceived
the idea of an lad" of metal just the
size of dime with the wording and
printing placed in such a way that at
first glance it would appear az dime.
The idea was cleverly executed A fair
imitation of the head of Liberty was
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20

NEW YORK.-After having spent
~ between s9o,ooo,OO0 and 100000
900 for bridges over the East river,
Father Knickerbocker is now inform
ed that all of this sum except about
one-quarter-thea amount expended on
the original Brooklyn bridge-repre-
sents money thrown away. The per.
sons responsible for this disquieting
statement are the more or less emf
nent engineers who have been criti.
clsing the latest rapid transit plans
of the city.
These plans, which provided for a
$1OO,00O,000 subway to serve three of
the five boroughs of the greater city
contemplated the use of two of the
new bridges-the Williamsburg and
the Manhattan-to carry these lines
over the river but the engineering
critics declare that this is not feasible
for the reason that these BRIDGES are
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20

K ANSAS CITY, Mo.-With the Kan.
II sas and Missouri rivers combining
to furnish water for Kansas City and
sometimes supplying more of it than
can be taken care of, it is somewhat
surprising that local capitalists should
be negotiating for the purchase of wa.
ter $50 miles away for the city sup
ply.
Efforts have recently been made by
them to purchase the Bennett Spring
IN Dallas county. Mo-, with a view to
piping the water here to supply resi-
dences with drinking water.
Reports made to the intending DUR.
chasers by an expert sent to the
spring show daily output of 104, 00O,-
600 gallons. Since the spring was
discovered. which dates back to In.
dian times before the advent of white
settlers. the spring has been pouring
forth the same volume Of crystal pure
water of the same temperature wheth-
er 1t was July or January
The term spring is misleading for
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-01-20
! MN AlI11lE
~ ~ Iz lgEIB(B&9 I5}*<
Interview Causes Stir in Washington

to shop. Then, your theaters, opera
and concerts are so wonderful. In
fact, New York is one of the most
fascinating cities in the world. 1t is
all life and color and impulse.
Logically, of course, Washington
should be the social center of the
country. 1t never will be, however,
for no city can take the honors away
from New York. The atmosphere is
different, and social climate is as
hard to change as any other kind"
It is stated that Baroness Hengel.
muller nearly fell down dead when
she saw this interview in the New
York papers and then saw it copied
into the Washington papers. Baroness
Hengelmuller is nothing If not con-
ventional. She lives by form and
rote, and to do anything out of the
regular is in her opinion to commit
crime
She came back home in a state Of
nervous collapse, declared she never
said a word of it and that Washington
is perfectly lovely.
Baroness Hengelmuller wears that
title In her own right, and both she
and the baron belong to the stern Aus
trian court circles; that is, the baron
does now. She was born into that
world of convention and rules, where
you could sit by the fireplace and burn
up before the servant next to you
would make an attempt to save you
unless that was his particular court
function.
The baroness was a widow when
she married Mr.. Ladislaus Hengelmul-
Ter Won Hengervar, and it never pleas
ed her at all that he was a plain
mr." She was never quite happy un-
til she secured her husband the en-
bassadorship from Austro- Hungary,
and then few years ago she got
him created a baron