The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1911-09-12
ARE THERE CHILLS IN SEPTEM-
Der WATERN1ELONS?
(Rhamkatte ROaster.)

All -
BilI skies, who lives over the erik
from here, has been eating the best
nnd biggest watermilyuns that thar
uae crown in Rhamkatte. The Roast
orc crap was cut off, and every time
wa would near Of his cuttin' a big
melon and not inviting the editer it
would make our mouth water, and
We could not help wunderin' why it
was that Bill was SO quick to send
n the Rooster office the first cotton
bloom, which we could not eat, and
for which we give him five dollars
worth of free advertisin' and never
thought Nv sendin' us a Watermilyun
0uring the hole season. We are
afeard that Bill amt as good a friend
20 the editer as he processes. Yes
,idv mornin' his wagin driv up to the
Rooster office and his boy handed
ont a big melon on which was a card
readin' TIE we editer Of the Rooster.
Heer is the best watermilyun of the
seasin with compliments of Bill
Skies
We are not of a suspicious nature,
bur we have heerd tell all Of our lives
that thay are at least five chills in
September, SO we got to rumernating
whether Bill Skies were a frien' or
enemy. If he sent this watermilyun,
knoWin' a watermilyun. in the sea-
son when thar Wuz SO many bekase
that it wuz full Of chills it was sure
ruf a Trojan horse gift and we did
not tend to eat nary bite of it; but if
he didn't send any Watermilyuns in the
season when they We're more plentiful
and he thought he wouldn't send a
watermilyun in the season when thar
wuz so many bekaze it would
be like carrying Goals to the
New Castle, then We wanted to thank
Bill and eat the watermilyun, but
which is it? Is Bill our frien' or our
enemy? We could not decide this
question, which was troubling our
mind SO We went down to Rolly to
borry some ink from the Nuisance
Disturber to get out this issue Of the
paper Nhe polk-berry crap in Rham~
katie having failed and we don't
never print this paper in nothing but
led ink), and we thought we would
AK seVerl frien's in Rolly about
whether w~atermilyuns was good in
September or not, and that We cud
then decide whether Bill was our
frien' or enemy. The furst nan we
met WIZ the editer Of the Nuisance
Disturber. / never sed nOthin to him
about Bill Skies and the w~atermilyun,
but past the time OF day and axed
him., D you ever eat watermilyuns
in September?'
Not on your life" he said.
Cause why?" I axt.
"TWo reasons" he said. "One rea-
son IS. that we amt never had nun
IN September to eat, and the second
We have always hearn hat there is
at least a dozin chills IN every water
mllyun that You eat~in a month that
has sot an r in it, We eats oysters
in no month without an r, and eats
no watermilyun in any month with
an r."
That sounded pretty sensib1e-like
and we began to think that Bill was
a sho-nuf enemy of the Rooster. [
"lht along and met Mr.. Carey j.
hunter, who is authority on farming
and watermilyuns and insurance. We
passed the time of day with him n
sorter limited that if he would take
a big advertisement in the Rooster
We would insure the old lays life for
our benefit (the bic lady is getting
Poly old now and a policy mite come
in handy if she drapped Off. and
after we had talked insurance fer &
"h1le, We aNt Mr.. Hunter the question
whether he thort it was safe to eat
"aformilyuns in September, and if he
thought the theory bout they being
1ull OF chills would hold in this scien-
unc age, and Mr.. Hunter up and~sed,