The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1911-05-18
CARING FOR
EDNA


getting married. declared Edna, hold
cheting. "I did think at one time that
my chances were a little better than
the average girls, but now I have re-
signed myself to the inevitable"
well, the right man hasn't come
along yet, my DEAR" graciously sug-
gested Edna's married friend. "Just
as soon as he does you'll know it and
he'll know it, and then there will go
the marriage bells"
IT wish it really was as simple as
that sighed Edna, .'but you are not ta-
king my bachelor uncle into account"
why, what has your uncle got to
do with your not getting married?"
Everything" declared Edna, rue
fully. THAT is, nearly everything. [
am not the only star in my own eve
ming horizon. In fact, am either COM
pletely obscured or l shine only with
reflected glory. You've heard me
speak of my bachelor Uncle Bob He
lives over on the next street in
boarding house and he thinks that his
one absolute duty is to drop in on me
every evening of his life Immediately
after dinner and act as master of cere-
monies for the rest of the evening.
The few times he has failed to appear
he has called me up by telephone
bright and early the very next morn
ing to express his apologies and re-
grets."
'But he doesn't interfere with your
callers, does hep" queried the married
friend, with dawning comprehension.
"Surely he goes upstairs with the 9TH
ers and plays cards or something of
the sort?"
That's just what he doesn't do" re-
sponded Edna, COMPRISING her lips.
''He says he enjoys knowing and
meeting my friends, and he usually
remains all evening when they come,
! and on some occasions has even es-
corted to the door some young man
whom he particularly favored. He
thinks it is his duty as man with no
responsibilities to look after my matri-
monial prospects. I nearly expire with
modification when he asks some new
man who is calling for the first time
to have lunch with him the next day.
I really know of two cases where he
absolutely frightened away very eli
gible young men by his overassiduous
attentions"
Couldn't you de1icately hint to him
that he is too much of an evening de-
light?" suggested the married friend,
sympathetically
81 shouldn't dare" affirmed Edna,
prodding her chochet needle viciously
into the lace rose "He is the kind
who would spend the rest of his life
nursing such a cruel sting of ingrati-
tude.
still, Tom says he is about desper-
ate to have few moments alone with
me. The other evening when he came
grains of some harmless slumber pow
der into uncle's coffee.
"Just as he finished speaking uncle
came bustling down from fathers
room, where 1 was hoping that he was
safely slowed away. He started at
once to give Tom some good advice
on the subject of young mans hav-
ing bank account. Then he drifted
into few words of warning about ma
king hay while the sun shines and
striking while the iron is hot AL
though 1 had fearful cold l started
to sing furiously."
"You poor grill" exclaimed the mar
ried friend. Il wonder you don't have
nervous prostration. Why don't you
get your family to mover"
Uncle Bob would move, too. he
loves us so. I thought that when
summer came things would be better.
In fact, l hit on what seemed to me
clever plan. I fixed up the back
yard with swinging davenport and
wicker chairs Tom was delighted
with the plan. The first evening the
yard was ready Tom came over early
and Immediately we tore out through
the kitchen to the peace and quiet of
the Arcadia we had secured.
GAS we approached the swing we
heard the chains creaking. Then we
saw the lighted end of a cigar.
was just going in to get you,'
announced Uncle Bob from the coy
seat of the davenport swing. Tt is fine
out here. l was strolling by and came
in at the side gate. Sit down, sit
down l like young people around me.
1t never bothers me bit F."
Couldn't you marry him off to some
unsuspecting spinster?" suggested
Ednas married friend with sympathy
in her voice. I'D take almost any
measures to get rid of such clinging
and pertinacious relative"
mo" said Edna, listlessly. "He says
he will never marry and that he is
waiting for me to get married so he