Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-02-18
CRUMBS FROM FOOLISH DICTIONARY

ABSINTHE-From two Latin words,
ad, and sinistrum, meaning ito the
fbad If in doubt, try one. (Old ad-
age, "Absinthe makes the jag last lon
ger".)
/ ABSTINENCE - From the Persian,
lab, water and stein or tankard Wa
! ter tankard or water wagon.
| AFFINITY - Complimentary term
for your husband or your wife, Some
times a synonym for Your finish.
AGE Something to brag about Il
your wine cellar and forget in a brit
! day book The boast of an old vintag'
| the buPaboo Of an old maid.
| ALIMONY-An expensive soOthin
syrup, prescribed by the judge for
divorcee's bleeding heart. (Old spell
ing, allay money!
APPENDICITIS - A modern pair
costing about 100000 more than thu
old-fashioned stomach-ache,
.ARSON-Derived from the Hebrew
| (See lnsurance.)
BANDIT-An outlaw. See Supervi
scr.
BACKBITER-A mosquito.
BACHEI OR&From the Latin, Ba
culus, a stick unattached. Hence al
unattached man, which any lady may
stick, stick to, or get stuck on
BONNETS-A female head trouble
which is contracted the latter part O.
Lent and breaks out on Easter.
CAVALRY-The arm of the militar!
service that engages in the real boss
tilities.
CHAUFFEUR-A man who is smart
enough to operate an automobile, but
clever enough not to own one.
COLLECTOR--A man whom few
care to see but many ask to call again
COMPLIMENT-F Eng. con, r.
hot air, and Lat. pleo to fill. Hence
to fill with hot air
COMPLEXION-C for the face
From Eng. complex, difficult, ant
Shun, to avoid. To avoid difficulty
buy it of a druggist.
CREMATION-A means of dispos
ing of the dead likely to become yer.
popular, especially with women who
are so fond of having the last retort
DANCE-A brisk physical exercise
invented by st. Vitus.
DEBT-A big word beginning will
Owe, which grows bigger the more il
is contracted.
DEN-A cavity.
DENT-To punch.
DENTIST-One who punches the
face and fills cavities.
DIAMOND-A bright gem the spar.
kle of which sometimes renders :
woman stone-blind to the defects OF
the man proffering it,
| ECIIO-The only thing that car
cheat woman out of the last word
ONOMY-Denying ourselves a
necessity today in order to buy a lux.
ury tomorrow
ENGAGEMENT - In war, a battle
In love, the salubrious calm that pre-.
cedes the real hostilites.
EPITAPH-A statement that usual.
ly lies above about the one who lies
beneath
| EVOLUTION-A clever trick per
formed by one Darwin, who made a
monkey of Adam.
FACE-A fertile, open eXpanse, ly'
ing midway between collar-button and
scalp, and full of cheek, chin and chat
ter. The crop of the male face is hair
harvested daily, by il lather, or al
lowed to run to mutton chops, spinach
or full lace curtains. The female face
product is powder, whence the express
sion, "Shoot off your face. Each is
Supplied with lamps, snuffers and
bread boxes
FAILURE-Th quickest method
known for making money.
FEINT-A pugilist's bluff.
FAINT-A womans bluff
Originally wife and sew
eral children, matter of pride to the
possessor. Now obsolete among the
careful, or confined to the wife, bull
pup, or canary bird
! FIG-Nothing. Note: 81 don't care
a fig" etc.
FIG LEAF-A small outer garment,
next to nothing, worn by Adam 1000