The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1911-11-16
HOGWALLoW NEWS.

The members of the Excelsior Fid-
ding Band took the blind man that
recently moved into our midst out
snipe hunting Tuesday night. He wa
left to hold the sack. but early Thurs
day morning he grew impatient aud
went home.
Two brothers Esam and Isam. are
here from a visit from the Calf Ribs
community. They are twins, and
wear the same kind of collar buttons
Sap Spradlen says there are very
few people that can wash their faces
without getting their hands wet
Fit Smith has brought TO our office
pound of very old butter. which Is
curiosity. on account OF its having
been made from the milk of young
COW.
The Deputy Constable left on
hurry call this morning for Bound
ing Billows, where he was called 10
arrest a man who held up and robbed
the Old Maser OF his pocketbook that
contained several Confederate bills OF
large denomination. Before leaving
the Deputy placed stove-eye In his
bosom in case there was any shooting
in his direction.
Dock Hooks, our enterprising black
smith. who does barber work, on the
side, has announced that hereafter
he win cut hair at the rate OF ten
cents per hundred.
lobe Moseley has been staying at
home this week trying to study up a
good name for dog he has just
traded for.
The blind man that recently Joined
the Excelsior Fiddhng band has bought
himself a pair OF speetacles to use
when he plays the small fiddle
Cricket Hicks. who has the impor-
tant and lucrative job OF ringing the
bell at the Tickville church every
third Sunday. has asked Cor shorter
hours. In compliance with this de-
mand the deacons met and changed
the date until the fourth Sunday.
which is one week later each month.
One OF the most profound myster-
les that has clouded the brow of the
deputy constable, is now shrouding
the public's mind. Where Is Raz Bar
lows hat? He is sure that he pulled
It off when he went to bed wednes-
day night but when he rose next
morning II had completely disappear
ed. Realizing the vast importance OF
a hat he at once began a close search
and ere the dinner hour had arrived
nearly all OF the best people OF the
community were helping him hunt for
II. After dinner the party was con
siderably strengthened by the post
master and a gallon OF ticker and the
house was entirely surrounded and
closely searched. A theory was then
advanced that 1t might be under the
house. and the building was raised
several feet while the deputy went
under with his lantern, but to no a.
vail. The stable was next object Of
search. and finally. strong suspicion
rested upon the COW that had all this
time stood by the fence, looking much
fuller and with a down-cast appear.
ance, and when it became known that
RAYS hat was OF delightful eating
straw, the suspicion was doubly
strengthened. On account OF the late
ness OF the season Raz has decided
not to bring suit against the owner
OF the animal, and will count himself
out a good hat and the COW in one.
After reaching the conclusion that the
COW had consumed the hat, Raz re-
membered that the COW had been
watching him suspiciously all summer
The Deputy Constable has decided !
TO apply for office again, instead OF
eoing to work at some legitimate bus
mess. He recognizes the unlimited |
influence that is in his power to ex-
ert over the people as an office hold
er. Though his immediate territory |
covers only Hogwallow and vicinity,
he claims credit for the peaceful con
diuon that goes on over the entire
United States being one of the men
whose duty IL is to keep the public
in a lawabiding condition. He be-
lieves If II was not for him. and the
other officers who are constantly on
duty with their lanterns by night and
their eagle eye by day. that there
would ha "a larQa lof Of hfQh handed |