The Washington herald., 1911-08-13

Tom Reed, OF Maine, "Czar" Reed that
was wanted to be President. Students OF
American politics are sure that he might
have realized his ambition IL he had not
been a wit and a satirist.
Sunset Cox was another man, a ma
tional figure, who is thought to have
funny. Roscoe ConklIng. Adam Bede,
Private John Allen. and a score OF
others have apparently failed to realize
their ambitions BECAUSE they had the
fatal faculty OF saying humorous things.
Maybe It Is because wit and fun rarely
help along a great ambition that story
telling In these United States is becom-
ing something of lost art.
Last of the raconteurs of old are the
"drummers" They still tell humorous
stories. but they tell them as though it
was all a part of getting the order for
harness. soap. lingerie. or whatever they
happen to have in their sample trunks.
No one else tells stories any more The
printable story is getting scarcer and
more scarce. Magazines will buy them
now, whether they are really original or
not.
Tradition asserts that there are but
seven stories in all the world. Admit
ting OF almost infinite variation. 1t Is
possible that the last of the variations
has already been made. Anyway. the
story is not so popular as 1t used TO be-
The campaign speaker of ten years ago,
who went out on the stump without a
dozen or so good jokes would have oeen
looked upon as foredoomed to failure.
Now a crowd hates to stand still and
let q speaker tell a story. They want
their oratory in tabloid form. and in
words Of one syllable, with all the en-
broidery cut out. Then. too, everybody
has already heard all the stories that
there are In existence.
The Village Jokesmith.
The village jokesmith. who sat in front
of the blacksmith shop. under tree,
moving as the shadows moved. has about
lost his occupation. Even the farmer
hasn't much time to listen to an anec-
dote any more. The ''hee-haw stuff'
won't go, even among the "hayseeds"
now. They had rather talk oil, automo-
biles. free hides, Schedule X, or most
anything else than to listen to the Jokes
that their grandfathers laughed at. some
time before the Mexican war.
It has got so that men get up and fit
away from a banquet table when the
walnuts and wine or their modern
equivalent are brought forth. THAT re-
minds me- causes a shudder to pass over
many a stalwart form. hemmed In by
courtesy and crowded tables. If there
is no escape they gloomily rest their
chins upon their hands and timber up the
buccal muscles. They make up their
minds to at least grin though 1t cracks
their unaccustomed cheeks.
Some folks are hopeful They have
faint glimmer of anticipation when the
after-dinner speaker rises or the last OF
the story tellers begins to spin his favor
ties back IN the smoking compartment
These hopefrh ones are optimistic enough
to feel that possibly there is story
somewhere that Is new. As rule. they
recognize an old friend before the ra-
contour has finished hrs third sentence.
Their instincts Of the gentleman force
them to emit something not unremotely
like laugh when the agony IL over.
Business HumOr.
The funny story does not play as big
a part in business as 1t once did, The
man who is trying to sell few hundred
pounds Of sidemeat to the proprietor OF
a general store at Hawkins Corners oan
stiIl use the funny story to some advan-
tage. for time is still heavy on the hands
of some village dwellers You cannot land
big contracts nowadays with funny tales
and q breast pocketful of black cigars
Purchasing agents haven't time to listen
to q so-caiied new" one. They are skep-
ticai about there being such thing In
existence. and they haven't time to listen
In ardsr "a r~ova THAR noint.