The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-04-21
NAMING THE
BABY
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1910. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

NuOlt WSSt lnuu llldl VI GeulWdleT,
situated on the shores of Lake Mchi-
gan. 1t is also thriving place, but
there was a time in its history, and not
so many years ago. that it had a ter
rible fight for its life. and that fight
was precipitated by ten pound boy
baby.
Mr.. James Pond. a young man of
twenty-five, fell in love with Miss
Edith Brown. He bought and ship
ped butter, eggs potatoes and the like,
and she was a schoolteacher. 1t Is
not on record that one single person in
Pentwater had an objection to the
courtship. Marriage followed. and
still no objection. 1t was congratula-
tions instead But when time had
passed and a little feler of a baby
jumped into the arena there was a
sudden and awful change. The father
had become a Sunday school superin-
tendent. and within two days after
the birth of the baby he announced
that it was to be named Leviticus.
Mrs. Pond was a very good woman.
indeed. but She wasn't good enough to
stand for such Il name aS that. She
announced that the hoy was to be
named Leon. and right there the row
began. Both had relatives. and the
relatives were dragged into it, If you
trace the record of Leviticus back you
will find that he was a very good man
and that his name was all right for the
age in which he lived. At that time
no one used nicknames. No one
thought of shortening his cognomen to
Leave or Levi" 1t was always
pronounced in full
Mrs Pond and her adherents held
that the name had served its purpose
and should not be dug up for the bene-
fit Of her son. When the two names.
"Leviticus" and Leon" were writ
ten side by side the odds seemed to
be ten to one in favor of the latter.
The boys might cut it to Lee" and
still leave it a pretty name.
"It shall be Leon, little darling. and
don't you worry" murmured the moth
er as she held the kid closer to her
bosom and her relatives said they
would back her up in it to their last
ton of hay.
with He had not been known as a
desperate or determined man. but now
It appeared that he was. He vowed
by the beard of his father that the
baby should be baptized under the
name of Leviticus or not at all. and
he began using the name at home and
abroad. There were those who con-
graduated him and told him that he
was doing great thing for Pentwater.
1t cannot be said that business came
to complete standstill, but it was
certainly affected. Several houses that
were to be erected were not begun be-
cause the interested parties quarreled
over that baby.
When the kid had reached the age of
six weeks and was just beginning to
take an interest in the questions of the
! day its father insisted that baptism
A1should take place. Tears were shed
and protestations made, but in vain.
Then he came home to supper one
night to find that wife and baby had
fed to her mothers. He ordered them
back. but they refused to come as
mother and Leviticus. Then Mr..
Ponds minister and his two deacons
stepped in. They hadn't done so
before, hoping the affair would be set
tied in the family. The trouble that
faced them now, however. was that
they were all for Leviticus. They pro-
nounced the name as softly as they
could and had much good to say as to
the character of the man. but they
made no headway. There were other
ministers and deacons in the village,
but they kept hands off. Tin peddlers
and lightning rod men visited Pent-
water, and those who were wise
enough not to butt in did good busi
ness; those who shifted at Leon and
called it a novelish name or those who
giggled at "Leviticus" and called him
a back number got themselves into
trouble.
Months went by. but both sides re-
mained firm.
But there must come a climax to all
things. and Pentwater finally had a
climax. 1t was being proposed by
citizens of sense to have a fire. cir
Gus or an earthquake to kill off the
old question when a good old man
came to the town and heard all about
the matter. He was selling a home
made liniment good for man or beast.
1t could be used externally or internal
ly. It would cure outside rheumatism
or inside collie. Rub it on your back
with a piece of red flannel and your
lumbago would disappear. Take ten
drops internally, with the red flannel
left out, and your heartburn would
trouble you no more.
When the old man had learned the
particulars of the quarrel over the
baby he stroked his venerable chin
whiskers and murmured:
81 see. l see. You are a pack of
idiots in Pentwater! There should
have never been an argument over
it."