Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1911-08-10
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SALEM'S Mr.. D0OLEY MAKES SUGGESTIONS *
. CONCERNING THE NAMING OF AUTOMOBILES x

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What says the mare to his Wal
than, have yese on yer table in the
way of new business?'
'Yonner,' says the Raycorder, L
have an Ordnince introduced by the
late disturber of the peace an dig
nifty of this honorble body, Frank
Dearborn, relative to the taxation,
guidance, control, naming, and retax-
alton of auto vehicles
Read it,, seys hizzoner, and con-
slider it the third readin''
BE it ordained and the same is
hereby approved be the Commonest
Council Salem has ever injoyed, that
all motor vehicles be and the same
are hereby ordered strangled and
taxed to death and may heaven have
no mercy on the owners souls.
Section Wan: Every owner Of
any motor vehicle comm onder the
meanin' of this act is hereby deemed
guilty of misnomer in havin' in his
or her possession any unnamed auto
truck, carriage, garage, or other con-
veyance not properly answerin' to
the names herein after set forth.
"'Section Two: The names Off
cially designated to the machines
owned by the followin' persons shall
be:
Name and name of car
60 Cut Across, Teabone.
'Willum McTightfist, Little Cock
roach.
"'Charles Canary, Affidavit.
"'F. Dearborn, Waterwitch.
~. L. Stockup, Butterick.
Henery Myberg, Crimson Ram
bier.
Gene Meddlesome, Hofbrau.
Looie Bechtup, Bargain Counter.
George Omyomy, Herpicide.
I'D. S. Rabbi, Table-dote.
John Grabber, Vent.
Max Gopher, Longprimer.
Jawn Gray, Hollywood
ED. Hardlythat, Buckaroo.
"'Alex Go-at-it, Early Crawford.
DR.. Tom Smyhers, Pyrea,
{" Jim Linen, Hop-skip and a Jump.
Col. Homespun, Sphegetti.
Jack Rojeski, Little Per cent.
Alb Majority, Hunter I.
Stop, stop, seys hizzoner, 'ye
need go no farther with such stuff
but read the body of the bill.
up jumps the introjucer of the
bill and in silf offence seys:
Gintlemin, includin' yer 'onner,
l wish to say at this time that the
automobile industry has been over
looked be the assessor. the state and
be our own honorable selves and it
is time we properly taxed this rapid
ly CROWN institution
Me idea in namin the different
vehicles was prompted be the use of
names given to horses. Who has not
heard of Maud's mist, Jay I saw her
first and the other leadin mares of
the day to say nawthin' of our own
distinguished leader.
'Ye go down to the river and the
first thin ye see is canoo named
Laura Lye, White Wings, etc. Why
not, seys I, have all the machines
with handles to thin So | have in
troiuced this very wise ordinance
and hope before I am properly set
down upon that we will pas the same.
Wan more word about the auto
business before l take me humble
seat. The machines in our glorius
city are owned be men of means and
can we'll afford to be taxed a few
more times before they wake oop.
"'Ye're in the market fer ma
chine. Ye tell yer naybor. He
passes the word on to Asy Hoof, who
at vance looks ye oop. 'Ye need
Blonde, says Asy. "Tis the best ma
chine afoat. No altichude too high
fer it's carburater and no hill too
steep fer it to go round. What! Ye
have no money? Ye need none. Ye
have a farm on Salem Prairie. All
ye have to do is to give me deed of
trust fer the farm and a mortgage
on yer home here and ye take the
auto and mkt year if ye don't like
the Blonde. I'll take the farm, home
and machine all often yer hands.
"'Ye buy the auto and start down
town to show to yer wonderin frinds
what progress yer maxim in killin'
chickens and dawgs.
"'What do ye see? First, ye pass
an auto truck and try to dodge n