davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Miss Fullosoul Cof poetieal turn)
Which are you Of opinion one should
say, professors Summer flies" or
Summer fiees?"
Absent.Minded Professor (great on
entomology THE two species. my
dear young lady. are entirely distinct
Now, the common house fly Then
he wondered why she suddenly open.
ed a conversation with the young
man on her right.--Lcndon Sphere.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
The As,ute Professor.

Now" said the other member of
the faculty. IF you carry your theory
out to its logical conclusion. the pub
lie will"
Not bit OF it." remarked tile as
tute professor. I'm not carry the the.
DRY to a logical conclusion II do
that the public viii never pay any at
tention 10 II"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
A Matter Of constltu,lon.

There's no use talking about wom-
en- making themselves the eqauls Of
men. They never can do It. It's a
mere matter Of constitution"
How do you make that out? 1t has
been demonstrated that women can
endure hardships even more stoically
than men"
''Oh. don't mean it that way. They
will always wait for the change, even
II it doesn't amount to more than .
cent"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
The Value Of puck EGGS.

Nearly all good eaters in England
and on the continent relish duck eggs.
even more than the hens eggs.
Properly fed on sweet. clean grain.
green stuff with pure water the duck
produces eggs that are delicious.
The Indian Runner duck lays better
eggs than the Pekin. although the lat
ter is in greater favor In the United
States because OF It's pure white
cnlnr
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

The fact that dalrymen have de-
voted more attention to other phases
Of their dairving than TO the breeding
and development of the COW is one OF
the reasons why so many of our dairy
herds are not capable Of returning a
profit from their food and cost Of
care
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

The difference between youth and
age was never so well put" said Rev.
c. w. Penlow, in an address at an
Ocean Grove beach meeting, "as by
a playwright who wrote:
Youth. which Is forgiven every.
thing, forgives itself nothing. Age,
which forgiyes itself everything, 10
forgiven nothing"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

blades. Two cleats are nailed at each
end of the 2x4 to fit over the edge
Of the wagon box. One man stands In
the wagon and works the topper.
while another lifts the bundles Of corn
and puts them IN The heads when
cut fall into the wagon
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
TELLS VIVA! SAVED HER LIFE.

had trie l several remedies but they
did not SEEN to gi-Se me any relief. My
doctor said / had kidney and liver
trouble which / could not believe, as
the pain seemed to ne in my stomach.
At times | had such dreadful pains
that could not move tor three or four
days and nothing would bring relief.
] could not walk and in short time
lost ten and one half pounds in weight.
! also had fainting spells, backache
and always that tired and sleepy feel
ing.
A lady friend who appeared to be
troubled in the same way as myself.
recommended DIR. Kilmer's Swamp
Root. l procured several bottles and
gave it thorough trial and am glad
TO say that am feeling perfectly well
and ike a new person. / cheerfully
recommend Swamp-Root to all suffer
ers. I truly believe that Swamp-Root
saved my life.
Gratefully yours.
MRS HENRY MTTMM
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

The Venus of Milo explaind ne.
missing arms.
Il tried TO get the tan of" she said
Herewith she rejoiced she hadn't
used the same method on her neck
Harper's Bazar.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

writer's would indicate that where
tamping was not followed there was
always a certain amount OF spoiled
silage and that the money spent for
labor used in thoroughly tramping the
silage in the silo when filled brought
good returns
In localities where freezing occurs.
it is necessary to construct the silo so
as to prevent. as far as possible. freez-
in Of the silage. II is difficult. to
make a comparison between the mer-
its Of tire various types of siIos in this
respect. owing to the inability 20 find
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
Cows in Australia.

Australia has cows enough TO give
each nan, woman and child in the
island continent three apiece; while
the Argentine can do even better.
There &c FIVE cattle 10 each inhabi.
tant In the big South American re-
public
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

MY girl used to think a lot OF her
pug dog. but I've managed TO get the
edge on him since We married"
How did you work it?'
"FIdo wouldn't eat her cooking. and
did"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
Since Teacher Did Not Know.

II was In the primary class OF a
graded school in western city and
the day was the ED of February.
Now, who can tell me whose birth
day this is?" asked the teacher.
A little girl arose timidly.
Well. Margaret, you may tell us.
said the teacher.
Mine" was the unexpected reply.
-~Eyerybody's Magazine.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
Feeeina Calves.

We know an Indiana farmer -ho
choked two fine calves To death by
feeding them dry oats before be made
up his mind his youngsters woaio
DO better on something s'se.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
sroe,t so,t.r Maxine citv.

St Paul is said to be the second
largest butter making city IN the
world. Omaha alone leading all others
with a total output Of about 100000
pounds per year.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
Out of Fashion.

Agnes-Appendicitis is not quite SO
fashionable as IT was
Gladys-No. even swollen appen-
dix would spoil the set of the present
day gowns.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

| This lie one Of the highest COM
pliments ever paid TO the leyel-head-
ed, common sense OF Americans
who cut on about two hundred mill
lion pounds Of coffee when they
found by actual experiment Gin the
majority of cases) that the subtle
drug caffeine, in coffee, worked lis
comfort AID varying forms of dis
ease
Some people haven't the charac-
ter to stop a habit when they know
It is killing them, but II is easy
to shift from coffee to Postum, for,
when made according to directions,
1t comes to table cup OF beverage.
seal brown color. which turns to
rich golden brown when cream is
added, and the Este IL very like
the milder grades OF Old Govt Java.
Postum is a veritable food-drink
and highly nourishing. containing
all the parts Of wheat arefully pre-
pared TO which Is added about ten
per cent of New Orleans molasses,
and that is absolutely all that
Postum is made Of
Thousands Of visitors to the pure
food factories see the ingredients
and how prepared. Every nook
and corner is open for every visit
or to carefully inspect. Crowds
come daily and seem to enjoy it.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Pain and Swelling seldom indicate in
ternal organic trouble. They are usually
the result Of local cold or Inflammation
which can be quickly removed BY Hamiins
Wizard Oil.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
sIa Russian Flock.

A shepherd in Russia has 500 00e
sheep. To look after and handle them
he has $1,000 dogs. probably the iarg'
est pack in the whole world.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
Water for pueka.

The ducklings should always have
access TO drinking water. but swim
ming water can be omitted If de-
sired.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

II is much easier for us 20 forgive
some one for being an enemy To our
friends than for being a friend TO our
enemy
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
Eouivoeai.

GLADYS can't hide the fact that she
dyes her hair yellow
you don't suppose. do you. that
she could keep It dark7"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
land Is a, Last slahted.

Shipwrecked Passenger-Wha do
we do now?
Shipwrecked Seaman swim ashore
and save myself and then swim out
and save you
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
Gratefully yours,
T-,,--,o r. +. D. No. /, Box 49
D.: kII%sr ace; Lowell, Ind.
Prove What Swamp. Root win Do For You

Send to DR.. Kilmer & Co., Bingham
ton, n. Y, for a sample bottle. 1t viii
convince anyone. You will also re-
ceive a booklet of valuable informa.
ton, telling all about the kidneys and
bladder. When writing, be sure and
mention this paper. Regular fifty-cent
and one-dollar size bottles for sale at
all drug stores.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Constipation causes and seriously aggra-
yares many diseases Il - thoroughly
cured by Dr.. Pieree's Pellets Tiny sugar
coated Eranudes.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
Aninulfnral.

Mother Yes, Johnny, the queen bss
is boss.
Johnny--How about the presidential
bee?
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
Tho HappIer Ace.

The Bronze Age man chuckled.
III was steel, suppose they would
dissolve me, be cried.
Herewith he rejoiced he didn't live
too late.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

but don't you believe asks the
theorist. that governmental owner
ship of railways win make great
difference in aHairs?"
Not at all" retiie= the congress
man Every one Of my constituents
posters me for free passes as things
are nov"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Some men have a well-seated pre1u-
dice against giving up their place 70 a
woman in a crowded car.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
USEFUL KAFIR
CORN TOPPER
Handy Implement Can BE Made
Out of Two Blades From
Old Stalk Cutter aa
Illustrated.

We have kafir corn topper which
we use to top cane and kafir corn In
making It. two straight blades from an
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

What is 50 rare as day in June?~
well, the way we have steak for
dinner is a good deal rarer."
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
CLERTS
Haney Toppsr faf 90 80.

old stalk cutter we're used. one bolted
onto piece OF 2x4. three feet long
and the upper blade fastened 10 # at
one end with a bolt, A. which allows
the two kniyes to wort IKE scissor
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
silent lnnuendo.

THAT woman always speaks kindly
of others"
Yes" replied Miss Cayenne; but
she always does Il in such a way as
to imply that she is making some ter.
rible mental reservations"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Every time you meet a crouch hand
II a lemon
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Caroline-She may be 9 gossip, but
I believe she tells the truth.
PauliDe-My dear. the truth Is fire.
uuently the worst form of gossip inag-
lnahie.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Let ug continue to quote from HIS
article.
Notwithstanding the enormous
increase in population during the
past three years. coffee shows an
appalling decrease I'm consumption"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

The public has an inconsiderate way
OF remembering the prophet when the
prophecy fails. and of forgetting him
when Il comes true
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

top to the bottom of the wall was
quite free and readily transmitted
heat from wall to wall in this man
ner.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
There's a Reason"

Postum Cereal Company, Limiisd
Battle Greek. Michigan
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Then follows tlresome lot Of
statistics which wind up by show
ing decrease Of consumption in
two years Of, in round figures, two
hundred million pounds.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Then the article proceeds TO de-
nounce Postum and works into a
fine frenzy, because we have pub
lished facts regarding the effect Of
coffee on some people.
The narrowing tale goes on.
Where few years ago every
body drank coffee, several cups a
day. now we find in every walk In
life people who imagine they can
not drink it. (The underscoring is
ours.) Burly blacks miths, carpen-
tiers, laborers and athletes have dis
continued or cut down the use Of
coffee; as there is not person
who reads this and viii not be able
TO find the same conditions existing
among his own circle OF acquaint-
ances, is Il not well for the Brazil
fans 10 sit up and take notice?"
Isn't it curious these bur
ly" strong men should pick out cof
fee to Imagine" about? N.ny not
imagine" that regular doses Of
whlskey are harmful. or daily slugs
Of morphine?
II imagination" makes the cat
feline IN coffee clog the liver, de-
press the heart. and steadily tear
down the nervous system. bringing
on one or more OF the dozens Of
types Of diseaaeB which follow
brOEen-down nervous systems,
many people don't know H.
But II remained FOR the man who
has coffee. morphine or whiskey |
TO sell. 10 have the supreme nerve /
70 gay: You only imagine your |
disorders. Keep on buYiEg from
ne
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Here we see the cause for the at
tacks on US and the Brazilian
sneers a. Americans who prefer to
use a healthful, homemade break
fast drink and Incidentally keep the
money In America, rather than
send the millions 20 Brazil and pay
for an article that chemists class
among tho drugs and not among
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22
GREAT CARE SHOULD BE USED
In CONSTRUCTION OF A SILO
Many OF Failures
Huge Tanks Are Due Faulty BuiIding-Air
Should be to
sequent SiIage

by J. B. DAVIDSON and NJ. L. KING.
Iowa
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22


the foods.
VIII the reader please remem-
Der, we never announce that coffee
I hurts all people"
Some persons seem to have ex-
cess vitality enough to use coffee,
tobacco and whlskey for years and
apparently be none the worse. but
the number is small, and when a
sensible man or woman finds an ar
t!ele acts harmfully they exercise
some degree Of intelligence by
dropping II.
We quote again from the article:
These figures are paralyzing
but correct. being taken from
I,eechs statistics, recognized At
tho most reliable"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

W. N. u. MILWAUKEE,, NO. 4e-1sii.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-11-22

Where few years ago every
body drank coffee, several cups a
day. now we find In every walk In
life people who imagine they can
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-03
VITAL STATISTICS.

In urging all clergymen to be sure
and make returns to the probate
court on the marriages they perform,
Judge Schoch is doing his full duty
In this particular by the people of the
community. It is essential that all
marriages should be recorded with
public authority, and it is a shame
that the records of Shawnee county in
this respect are so faulty. Through
the carelessness of officiating clergy
men, these records running back for a
period of years are not anywhere near
as complete as they should be.
1t would seem to be small matter
to ask clergymen to attend to. If
they can not find time to carry the
notices of the marriages they perform
to the court house, they ought to be
able to afford the cost of mailing
them out of the marriage fees they
receive. The keeping of these public
records may mar or make the future
happiness of one or both parties to a
marriage. It may mean the preserva-
ton of property to a rightful widow
and her children which could be
sought with success by INSCRIPTIONS
relatives in the event that her mar
riage was not duly recorded. It may
mean the preservation of honored
names by children. Can there be any
thing of greater Importance than
these?
The same is true of all vital stats
ties, those relating to births and
deaths, and all kinds of sickness, as
well. Perfect records on these sub
jects should be kept in all communi-
ties. The last legislature did well
when it enacted new legislation pro-
viding for the registration of such
statistics. This legislation is not as
stringent as it might be, but it is a big
step in the right direction.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-03
KANSAS COAMENT
AN OPPORTUNITY.
NOT A SQUARE DEAL?

The Lawrence Gazette calls atten-
tlon TO the fact that one of the black
students attending the state univer-
slty mas been refused the right to be
MEMBER OF one of the K. U. track
teams simply because he is a negro.
AS an athlete he is said to excel any
Dody else in the university. But he
Is black, and therefore he is frozen
out and has no right to be on a K. U.
team.
This policy of barring negroes from
all Kansas university athletic teams is
one which has prevailed generally
SINCE w. S. LanSdon became manager
OF athletics there. Whether Mr.. Lans-
don Is responsible for the rule is not
known, but it is certain that he heart
ne has the backing of the university
faculty.
But is such system right. espe-
cially in state university which is
supported by all the people?
Is 1t right to tax colored people for
the support of the university, and
then discriminate against them when
they come there to take advantage of
the opportunities offered by the uni
versity?
On the other hand. is it not the
duty OF the state to crush out snob-
berry in state schools, encourage the
colored boys and girls of Kansas to
attend school, instead of making them
feel their alleged 'inferiority'' by dis
eliminating rules?
In a private school or a church
school, the rules and regulations for
the management of the school are
wholly in the hands of private par
ties. Such an institution can adopt
any rules 1t pleases on the race ques-
ton.
But what right has a state univer-
sity to draw such lines?-Salina Jour
nal.
COURTS GENERALLY RIGHT.
The judicial power of a governm ent
derives its authority from the people;
at the same time it is supposed to be
founded in its operations on the wis
dom of the ages, following established
presidents that have been found sat-
isfactory since the reign of jurispru-
dence.
When the people become dissatisfied
with the decisions of the courts, it is
not always indicative of wrong pre-
sumption on the part OF judiciary
that is learned and trained in the law,
which has governed mankind since the
claim of civilization.
There doubtless have been incidents
where the decisions of the court have
been wrong, where they have been
contrary to the presidents established
by centuries of law and equity, yet
such cases are rare, compared with
the great volume Of decisions that
have been sound and judicious and
have operated to the benefit of hu-
mainly. AS a general thing the de-
nunciation of courts by men who are
disappointed, is based upon selfish
considerations, and upon maturer
Judgment and unbiased by prejudice,
will be found entirely groundless when
the demands of justice are fully con-
sidered.-Clay Center Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-03
NYHAWKER JOTS

Verd Napier thinks that most Of rhe
milk of human kindness would have
hard luck in the hands of a poor food
inspector.
About the only things that can be
killed without license under the new
game law, says the Alton Empire, are
bed-bugs and flies.
The Alton Empire has discovered
that trying to talk-over a rural tele-
phone line is like shaking a red rag
at a flock of geese.
ct love but her." sang the lovesick
swain, according to the Downs Times.
81 it's butter you want, you can get
that at the corner grocery" called out
her irate father.
Colonel Duvau of the Norton Cour-
Ter calls attention to the fact that it is
unlawful to kill an eagle. He might
we'll have added that it is also we'll
nigh impossible to get shot at one.
A complimentary notice for the re-
cent legislature from the Blue Mound
correspondent of the Meriden Ledger:
Some one said our last legislature was
as good as any we have had for years.
think so, too. They changed the
time of holding our annual school
meeting, which nearly every leg1sla-
ture has done for the last forty years.
A query from the Hiawatha World:
A farmer finds a one dollar bill and
appropriates it, by right of discovery,
to himself. He goes to town and pays
it to a newspaper man on what he
owed him; the newspaper man hands
it over to a merchant to settle his ac-
count; the merchant pays his meat bill
with it; and the butcher pays it back
to the original finder to finish pay for
a. calf he had bought, after which the
farmer takes it to the bank and dis
covers it to be counterfeit, and on the
ensuing Sunday put it into the mis-
sionary collection. Query: Are all
thse debts cancelled with the spurious
one dollar?
That a wife who is able to handle
an ak is a handy partner 10 have
around occasionally is made apparent
by the following little tale which was
related in last weeks issue of the
Meriden Ledger by its reporter at
Blue Mound: One of our farmers was
hauling his summer wood recently, had
thrown his load off, at the woodpile,
near the house, sat down on the edge
of the wagon box and slid off, but I'M
fortunately for him there was nail
head projecting a half inch out Of the
edge of the box, which as he slid off,
caught in the rear of his overalls, and
held him suspended between the
heavens and the earth, in such posi-
ton that he could neither get down
nor back into the wagon. His wife,
seeing his perilous position, grabbed
I'D the ak which was near and with
one well directed whack between the
nail head and the body. cut a section
out of his overalis, which let him
down in safety.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-03
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News

IRON the chicago Newell
Pride and summer go before fall.
Never borrow anything you can't
return-not even trouble.
Among the men of letters the post
man is the most popular.
With the advent of spring the trees
will begin to leave.
A small boy defines dust as mud
with the Juice squeezed out.
Don't hit man when he's down.
You may not be able to keep him
down.
The divorce judge is like a poor
marlsman; he makes good many
misses.
A learned scientist has discovered
that air is the principal ingredient in
wind.
If a woman could buy new hat
whenever she pleased, nothing could
ever drive her to suicide.
Those able to afford it like nothing
better than to give mean spring wealth
er absent treatment.
A man who marries an old flame
need not be surprised to discover later
that she has a hot temper.
When a girl reaches the coming
OUT age she's fortunate If she has a
small brother to take the conceit out
of her.
Necessity knows no law, but as the
mother of invention she should at
least be conversant with the patent