davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
According TO Uncle Abnsr.

I have heard OF one or two fellers
who would rather be right than pres
ident, but have heerd Of a blamed
sight more who would rather be
wrong than vice president.
When I see our village miIliner's
upper lip all black make up my mind
there has been some drummer along
that has got dyed mustache.
1t seems as though In our neighbor-
hood everybody enjoys funeral
thoroughly exceptin' the late defunk.
Scripture says boss ia a vain
thing for safety, but by gravy I
think an automobile is blame sight
vainer
1t is wise lawn mower that knows
its own master.
I see a eastern scientist says anbi-
ton is an unyielding desire to keep
diggin'. A lot OF folks around here
have been affected that way but they
all thought they had shingles.
A good many fellers that get credit
for industry by blowing up their back
gardens are only lookin for angle
worms
Why In tunket are they called angle
worms when they move only In
curves?
Whenever I hear a Teller constantly
referred to as q good man I allus
wonder what he is good for, but no.
body seems to know
There Is only one way to take down
a stovepipe without gettin' SCOT on the
carpet, and that is to take up the car
pet fust.
Elmer Hicks says he is going TO get
a job worxin' at the plumbers trade.
BY jing! didn't think anybody
worked at that.
About this time every year ! go
and look at some Teller that chaws to-
hacker and find that have got one
thing to be thankful for, anyhow.
Putty soon 1t viii be time for all of
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
Helpful 4ousshold IlIrts.

How to keep cook: First, catch
your cook. Then proceed noiselessIy
and rapidly to the Office OF the regis
ter OF deeds and place your house and
lot In your cooks name Then buy
her a six cylinder Pope Toledo and a
pianola. Fit her up an elaborate
boudcir on the flrst floor OF the house.
Hire for her manicurist, butler.
several hand maidens and second
hand maidens. also an Angora poodle.
Place theatre box at the cooks dis
posal and make your wife do the
cooking. In this manner you may be
able to keep your cook. OF course
extreme cases may require greater
attention.
How TO make silk hat: Take one
joint of stovepipe. Then catch seven
or eight black cats and skin them.
stretch the skins tightly over the
stovepipe. Brush. carefully. II the
hat IS too tall use little shortening.
How to cure baldheaded Brussels
carpet: Take pair Of BARRIERS clip
pers and clip the carpet all over. then
shave 1t carefully with safety raz-
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
A HARMLESS WAY
TO DARKEN The HAIR
Al LITTLE SAGE AND SULPHUR
MAKES GRAY HAIR VANISH
A REMEDY FOR ALL
HAIR TROUBLES.

Who does not know the value OF sage
and sulphur for keeping the hair dark,
soft, glossy and In good condition? As
q matter Of fact. sulphur Is natural
element of hair, and deficiency OF 1t
in the hair Is held by many scalp
specialists To be connected with loss
OF color and vitality OF the hair. Tn
questionably. there ii no better remedy
for hair and scalp troubles, especially
premature grayness. than sage and
sulphur, IL properly prepared The
Wyeth Chemical Company Of New
York put up an ideal remedy or this
kind, called Wyeth's Sage and sui
phur Hair Remedy, and authorize
druggists to sell 1t under guarantees
that the money viii be refunded il 1t
fails to do exactly as represented.
IT you have dandruff. CT il your hair
is thin Of turning gray. get bottle
OF this remedy from your druggist to-
day, and see what It will do for you.
This preparation Ii offered to the
public at fifty cents q bottle, and ii
recommended ana sold by all drug
gists. Special agents. F'out e. Porter
Held. Gil Broadway.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
BEAUTY
REVEALED IN BOOK
THE FORUMS LATEST DIcTIoN-
AIRY EVEN TELLS WHAT Bios
SONS MEAN WANDER
THROUGH THE FIELD AND
STUDY NATURE.

The flowers that bloom, in the
spring.''
And many are the blooms that the
balny breezes OF spring days
will bring forth. To appreciate
them to the full one need not be a
botanist to the extent of the meaning
OF that word. but amateur knowledge
enhances ones pleasure and 1t may be
easily gained. The Forums wonder
ful dictionary In the key that unlocks
the door to acquaint you with summer
blossoms.
You will find many explanations OF
the meaning of the names of the
flowers between the limp leather
covers and In the back of the book
Is the full and complete guide to the
language Of flowers,
With that as your guide you can
learn the why's" and ''wherefores'' OF
the significance Of floral nomenclature
just what certain combinations Of
flowers are meant to express and the
appropriate flowers for certain seasons
and certain celebrations.
Trips to the country in the spring OF
the year are always enjoyable, but
Quaintance with flowers and their
blossoms the country win seem the
more beautiful
There Is, Of course, what some might
term the foolish side of the language
Of flowers Interpretation. but little
nonsense now and then is relished by
the best Of men," and IL you are In the
habit Of sending flowers as gifts you
may avoid embarrassment by knowing
the rules OF this flower languages
In selecting flowers for her you
will be able to express the proper
sentiment and not inadvertently say
what you had no intention Of saying.
II she does not understand the lam
guage. well and good, you have an
attractive combination OF coIors any
how; IL she does, you have an effec-
tive means OF communication.
Six consecutive dictionary coupons
clipped from The Forum gets the mar
velous book when accompanied by the
small expense bonus.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
THURSDAY, OCT. 5. 1911.
INDIAN SUMMER.

North Dakotans are slated for the
best part OF the year. The Indian
summer will soon be here. with its
delightful, cool nights, with crisp
morning air, followed by warm,
bright, sunshiny days. 1t is the best
period of the year in the northwest
and golden October is a favorite
month with many people.
When the weather Is reasonably
dry-there Is no climate on the map
that equals the October months in
North Dakota. The air is rich and
tnvigorating-healt and energy
producing. 1t inspires one to great
effort and accomplishments. 1t gives
. snap and interest to life that adds a
pleasure to existence.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
Daddy 'sBedtirne
n Crasshopper Green.
.AfOTU Who Was
Once an Old King
20 old awhile daddy said
q ~ dow sill and looked

20 old daddy said
- the
Il - dow sill and looked
"Envying your comfortable beds perhaps"
NO. grasshoppers like the BEST explained Evelyn This quite
sPerhaps old Tthonus q visit"
'Who he, daddyT' children. hmT
II don't that though the days
Of those wonderful ~ old Tonus the
band of Aurora goddess Tonus the king OF
her husband the gift OF living Hike the gods.
awhile Thnus older while
herself
palace.
mo heartily marry
goddess
him
She goddess
winged chariot lady
longer and she accused Of having used her him
hopper she did doubt glad be he
window and as far a he could from his goddess wife That the the
Creeks accounted for the After awhile
pened or had other troubles for the Greeks said that
should think Aurora felt awuy about would have
turned him back a man." said Evelyn
WELL
liberty
Aurora just couldn't undo her mischief"
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

Sore Feet7 Never after Using, TIz---
Good-b bye sore fees, aching feet
swollen feet. sweaty feet, smelling
feet, tired feet.
Goodbye corns. caliouses ana bun.
ions and raw spots.
You've never tried anything like
TIz before for your feet. Il Ii differ
.ent from anything ever before sold.
II acts at once and makes the feet
feel remarkably fresh and sore-proof
TIz Is not a powder. Powders and
other foot remedies clog up the pores.
TIz draws out all poisonous exuda-
lions which bring on soreness OF the
feet, and 1t is the only remedy that
does. TIz cleans out every pore and
glorifleg the feet--your feet.
You'n never limp again Or draw up
Your face IN pain. and you'll forget
about your n0rns, bunions ard cal
louses. Youal feel like new person
If you don't nnd ali this true after
trying box OF TIz, you can get your
money right back,
TIz is for sale ait all druggists at
81 cents per bon, ~ II will be sent you
direct If you gAsh from Walter Luther
Dodge e Co. Cssaas- 80. m
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
Welcome Valley Nevvs.

Welcome Valley. Il. D.. sept 37--ro
The Forum: Mrs. r. @. Pahaly and
Miss Agnes Joslin Of Esmond. I'LL.
who have been visiting relatives here,
started on their homeward journey
last Tuesday.
II Ia reported that James Tuesten
has sold his farm near Argusyiile.
Mrs. James Hudson and Mrs. Ernest
Vodden we're Fargo visitors the farst
OF the week.
Mr. ana Mrs. Tuaten made q husi-
ness trip to Fargo Tuesday.
Deputy Superintendent Of schools
w. II. Otterburn was in this vicinity
visiting the school and renewing old
acquaintancesl in tllia neighborhood
last Wednesday,.
Dave Nimock reports that some one
took quite d number of his younf
chickens one night this week.
A number of our young people at
tended the dance In Arthur last Fri
day night
Fred Vodden leaves for an extended
visit to his old home In Illinois next
Thursday evening. where he expects
to spend most OF the winter. 81
Mrs. Jennie Schultz visited &c Mrs.
McKinnon's last "Wednesday.
Cor. w. VI.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

the results. The expert in charge II
there TO answer his questions, to dis
cus@r 8notts3moint with him, to con-
suit and advise
Moreover the North Dakota plan is
to adjust the plan to the small farm
err without reference to the man who
operates big acreage. The tendency
tn that state with its once large "bo-
nanza farms Is decidedly toward
smaller farms and greater diversified
ton OF crops. This Is as 1t should be,
and the experimental farms are ex-
pected to accelerate this tendency.
For that reason the object lessons
spread before the farmers will be for
the man who tills his own land. They
will help him to make a success OF
what Is now perhaps more or less a
failure, or, IL II is success, to make
II a greater one.
This Is the sort of thing we ought
10 have in Minnesota. We have made
beginning with experimental farms,
but 1t Is only beginning. We need
many more Of them, so that the gos-
pei Of good farming may be brought
in practical way into the immediate
neighborhood Of the farmers.
One obstacle to the rapid extension
of the experimental farm system is
the dearth of experts to put In charge;
but this Is lack which every year
grows less, as the agricultural schools
turn out their graduates. For the
young man with a bent for agriculture
there is no better or wider opportun-
ity of gaining usefulness that that
opening up for experts in practical in
struction by means of experimental
farms.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
North Dakota Kernels

Baseball is on Ice.
900
Lawton IL shipping out lot Of
wheat.
Apple peddlers from cars are wmk-
ing in the state.
worrying is said to be disease.
just like the humps.
Wilton will have postal savings
bank all its own Oct. rs.
Many closing out" sales are max
ing their annual appearances.
The weatherman was real unkind
to Hillsboro-and the Traill county
fair.
There is a strenuous provision
against shooting ducks and geese at
night.
It's poor town that hasn't ar
ranged for some line OF entertainment
this winter
The North Dakota Banner run a cut
Of the new school building for the
deaf and dumb.
Some hotels and restaurants In the
smaller towns are being closed be-
cause Of shortage Of help.
900
Green Gipson, harvester, was held
up and robbed near Upham. Three
men were arrested and identified.
900
Mclean county's exhibit at the In.
dustrial show was In charge Of T. L.
Stanley, the booster for the new town
Of Energy.
The farmers Of North Dakota will
make money when they mix UP their
crops so they can employ men the
year around.
Of Dickinson will be one OF the can
didates for congress in the western
part Of the state.
900
The freighting between White Earth
and Powers Lake is thing of the
past. The construction or the railroad
line makes the team business out OF
date.
W>VsDH
Some OF the heads OF the local
schools over the state are insisting on
at least two hours study-outside of
school hours-for the more advanced
pupils.
900
w. l., Jackman, the new owner of
The Burnstad Comet, will continue his
studies and the university and e. A.
Parker win run the paper. Both were
formerly Of The Deering Enterprise.
900
The district judges continue 10 ex-
change benches-despite the ruling Of
the attorney general that under the
new state law the judge don't get ex-
penses paid when going into another
district.
The people of Dickinson are not
particularly enthusiastic over the N.
p. line up the river by Stanton, as
that will eventually be extended to
Glendive and much of the through
traff1c will be over that line instead of
by Dickinson.
Editor Erlendson of The Edinburg
Tribune, who has been roasting the
prohibition law in this state, says he
is not opposed to prohibition-but he
wants 1t complete-not a makeshift.
Some OF his brother editors, especially
Colonel Hager of The Grafton Record,
have said lot of sassy things to
Erlendson.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

The Ryder Journal is making good.
Denbish had numerous hunting ac-
The 1911 crops might have been
lot worse.
Scranton - on the spud belt-ac-
cording to The Register.
The back-to-tiiesfsrm idea Il 10
have q little rest--tiIi spring.
The farmers OF North Dakota can't
resist saying: "Oh, you corn CROP"
a blind pigger who escaped from
the officials at Ignite was found at
Minot.
Rewards are offered for the con-
viction Of b. piggers around Stark
weather.
@@@
The elevator men scrutinize the
wheat grades less--since the defeat
of reciprocity.
When they cash their wheat checks
the farmers are remembering the
newspaper men.
90
The Columbus Reporter wants
law against anyone who circulates
scandal There is.
900
III the papers of all the towns boost
ed like those Of Beach-almost any
place could boom-some.
Editor Jones Of The Turtle Lake
Wave announced he wanted to sen
his paper-then came out as an in
surgent.
AT Crosby blind pig was being
conducted In a box car-till the sher-
iff and the states attorney appeared
on the scene.
The people along the Fargo Mlnct
cutoff of the @. NJ. and the Pirgres-
Wilton line of the N. p. are rejoicing
at railroad progress,
Near Sawyer two men were firing a
shotgun and succeeded In peppering
a third. The docs picked shot out of
the shootee till he looked like a sieve.
eco
You would be in bad shape II
deputy game warden was inquisitive
enough to ask to look at your license
provided you had not invested 81
in the necessary permit.
900
Many improvements are to be made
In the village of New Leipzig. More
sidewalks are to be constructed.
town hall and fire department and
other things are planned.
@@@
The editor of The Rolette Examin-
er wanted to take in the Industrial
show but the inaccessibility of the
state capital from that part Of the
state made 1t impossible.
600
Towner won't play with Devils Lake
If the proposed organization Of that
part of the state is to be known as
the Lake region. Towner wants
some other name-like Mouse river.
900
To keep cabbages for winter select
q dry place in the patch, pub up the
cabbages and stand them close to-
gether, heads down. Cover with soil
from five to ten inches deep, Thirdly at
first SO they will not heat, covering
only enough to prevent freezing as
the season advances. The hurying
beds may be made from four to SIX
feet wide. A few cabbages for pres
ent use can be stored, heads down
In barrel in the cellar; but the bulk
of the crop should be left outdoors.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
GOOD ROADS AND HEALTH.

How many persons die in the Unit
ed States every year because doctors
cannot reach them speedily on ac-
count of bad roads?
The number is probably much larg-
er than the average city person-not
familiar with the hardships endured
in many sections Of the country
think.
Spring thaws strike terror to the
hearts Of millions of farmers In Amer
lea. They mean that the bottom Is GO
ing out of the dirt roads which have
not been cared for.
The grief and misery visited upon
afflicted families in rural districts by
bad roads can never be told. Funer-
ais over roads-which make the pas
sage Of hearses impossible and en-
danger the lives Of sorrowing rela-
tives-are one of the saddest specta-
cles imaginable.
AL these phases Of bad roads are TO
be touched by films which the United
States government is preparing. These
pictures should do much to hasten the
good roads movement in America
with pictures Of rural sections which
have model roads that afford rapid
transportation for mails and offer au-
tomobiles an easy course.
The world is Just beginning to re-
alize the awful economic handicap it
has labored under for centuries in i'm
passable highways. A new era is
dawning. Ten years from now any
community which tolerates bad roads
viii be In disgrace.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

us to borrow dollar or two and give
somebody we don't care anything
about present that ne doesn't want.
There Is a good deal in knowing
how to wear clothes. Some fellers
can put on a 81 hand-me- down suit
and make a noise like member Of
the Four Hundred while others can
wear 500 broadcloth and be pick
ed UP by the police for having no WIS.,
ible means OF support
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05


Trouble closer to yo' haid.
Joy yo'seff an ron,p am pIav.
Make de mos of every day.
Fo' each day comes once TO- sho
But 1t dom come any mo-
OATS a fac. now yo' has heard.
Pickaninny. mahk NAH word.
Have a good time, little chile
While yo' got a chance to smile.
When yo' ain no cause to fret
Whar you'all am gwin to get
Nun to eat and nun to war
An ct ain so very far
Dat you'-all has got to GO
In de path OF life beeo'
Yo' mus hustle all alone.
To feed chilluns OF yo' own.
Don yo' hurry. little chile.
Jes' be patient TO- awhile
Fo' 1t ain no cinch, my LAM
Fo' to be a growad up man.
Have good time little chile.
Fo' in jes' little while
Yo'll be worried what to get
Fo' to keep the wolf away.
Yoll be worried what to get
All the pork chops what 1t ct
An de lasses an de cakes
LAX yo' good oil nanny makes
An de ffswool an de rent
Which will take yo' las red cent.
Don't be anxious TO- to vote
And a family burden tote,
HoP yo' bosses TO- awhile.
Have a good time, little chile.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

If you have young children you have
perhaps noticed that disorders OF the
stomach are their most common ail-
rneilt. TO correct this you will ind
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver
Tablets excellent They are easy ana
Pleasant to take. AMI mild and gentle
In effect For sale by all dealers.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
With Apologies 10 Joe Miller.

The egg come from the chicken.
The chicken from the egg.
Now which one is entitled
To greater praise. we beg?
Perhaps you choose the chicken
Because YOU like 1t fried
Or stewed or crisply roasted
With oysters stuffed inside.
And then, again. 1t may be
The egg by which you boast
When 1t is boiled or scrambled
Or poached and served on toast
or course, without the chicken,
There'd be no egg. and then,
Without the egg It's certain
There couldn't be q hen.
Which one of them is greater?
Debate and do your worst.
The entire question hinges
On which one started first.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

The corn dance now is ali the go
Out in the rural parts,
The red ear and its well earned buss
Clements the loving hearts.
A corn dance Is q pleasant thing
To so to don't you know.
Providing that the corn is, on
The other fellows toe.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

Aberdeen. s. d., Oct. 5.-Mrs.
Charles Wagner. living seven miles
south Of Lennon, was horribly burned
by an explosion while pouring kero-
sene into q stove. About one fifth
of the surface Of her body was burned
but physicians hope to save her life
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
Implicit ccnfidencc.

Popular Magazine: Whenever the
Detroit team IL In the hole, and nv
Cobb goes to the bat. Hughey Jen-
nings. the manager Of the pennant
winners expresses his confidence in
Cobb's home run habit BY saying, In d
shri1l voice:
II You do II. ~, be sure and togsli
every BASEL
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
TrY t.

Mary said q mother to her Quick
tempered little girl you must not
get mad and say naughty things. You
should always give soft answer"
When her little brother provoked
her an hour afterward. Mary clenched
her little fists and said 'Mush.p
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
Softer.

Louisville Courier journal: sTf /
buy seat In the stock exchange. win
you agree TO do the work r"
Il amt crazy for work, dad. Make
1t seat In the senate"
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

Copyright 1911. by G. ". Mather.
Little Chile.

Have a good time
little chile.
When yo kin TO-
arter while
This we're WORT
won't be the
same
easy game
LAX 1t Is jes' now
To- you.
"A . de seasons
come and go
They am bringin'
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

fT Two con artists in Chicago went
the rounds OF the ministers getting
married. They paid In $50 bills, re-
questing $40 in change. The bills
with which they paid were counter
felt.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
F5OLITlcAL1
MB M MHE5

Bantry Advocate: Some Of the state
papers seem to have forgotten who it
is that makes state and county off,
GERS. and these same papers have al
ready selected and elected those
whom they desire for office-maybe.
But the people haven't had their say
yet-and 1t is the people who decide.
The people make officers, and the peo-
pie can judge which is the more de-
sirable man out of several for a GER
tain Office.
Who'll be governor for North Da-
kota after the next election day?
Thus far the Lord only knows-if the
Lord deems elections worthy Of note
He will smile on one L. b. Hanna
Of Fargo, II Hanna runs, for Hanna
is good North Dakota man, and God
and the people like good men-and so
does the almighty press.
Scranton Register: The result of
the Canadian. election as touching up
on the reciprocity pact viii, in addi-
ton to general results, serve to bring
Senator McCumber Of this state more
line. When this measure was being
considered there was no more en-
phatie protest raised In the halls of
congress than that voiced by Senator
Mccumber against adopting the prop
osition. 1t strengthens McCumber in
the estimation of the masses.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05
Tha Corn nanea.

or so that II viii all look alike. 1t will
then grow out evenly.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

az The Winnipeg contractor who
buried 500 pounds OF dynamite in the
golf grounds because bill was dis
puted. Is still in jail--but the golf
links are deserted. He refuses to tell
where the dynamite is--till the bin is
paid.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-10-05

fE The threatened strike of the CT
garmakers at Tampa doesn't interest
the fellow who doesn't smoke.