davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
SHE HOLDS 1T UP TO THE
Girl Who Is a Social Absorbent

conscious that you are Invited be-
cause you are your mothers daugh-
ter or because you keep. up your
share of entertaining so accurately
that you are awarded the exchange
Of the social banking system.
Social Nothings
Did 1t never occur to you that
in an empty cask there is most
room for filling? Why don't you
begin to FL up? Not with person
alities, but with fads. Have a new
one every three months. 1t will be
such a shock to your friends to
know that you are actually doing
something besides soaking up So
ciaI nothings that you will interest
them. Try it!
Cooking is a fine one to begin
with! Nothing really amazes the
average woman so much as to see
one of her sex deliberately doing
what she seeks to avoid. You may
be suspected of a mild mania; but
that is better than to be consid-
cred what you have been. And
there's no telling but that you may
find the way to a mans heart. 1t
Is said by some who profess to
know that the kitchen is q very
important station on the route
there. -... .-.
The Washington times., 1911-05-03

Did you get that silk thread
matched?" Mrs. Peeved wanted to
know. as she spread her embroidery
on her knee and dropped her head to
one side to get a more critical view
point.
II did," replied Mr.. Peeved.- Il did .
And never agaip, petty. On the word
OF a ong-suffeTng man, never again.
l don't care II you never get that
dolly. or whatever it is, finished; l
match no more silk for it."
why. did you have any trouble
matching it?" inquired his wife.
Speaking of Trouble
Trouble! I should say did. The
trials of Job were a moonlight picnic
compared to the time 1 had matching
that silk, Mrs. Peeved. l must have
gone into ten different department
stores. Positively, l didn't know
there were so many in the city. Leave
II to a woman to pick out an un-
earthly color-only half dozen sam
pies like it in the world, probably.
and then ask her husband to match 1t.
BY George. petty, If I hadn't made it
a matter OF pride not to let a NANCY
skein OF silk get my goat, I'd have
given 1t up in despair. I've been di-
rected from the music department on
the eleventh floor to the kitchenware
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
Decrease In Cotton Shipment,
Amounts to 398.S52 Bales

review of the cotton market. as
published in the Savannah News, shows
a great falling off in the supply of that
article. The stock on hand at all the
southern ports shows a total decrease
compared with last year, of S9S, ,S52 bales
The decrease of shipment to Great
Britain alone amounts TO $780, 500 bales.
Colonel Kane's command from Pot
ter and Mexican counties arrived al
Harrisburg yesterday, consisting of 35C
rugged backwoodsmen clad in red shirts
and armed with breeCh-loading rifles
They were accompanied by brass
band; 80 volunteers also arrived from
Bradford county. The Tenth regiment
has left Chambersburg, and the Ninth
Will follow tomorrow for Gettysburg.
The main portion of the fleet to
blockade the southern ports will be
at sea within a week II will con-
sist Of fifty war vessels, with steam
transports sufficient to accommodate
O land force Of 10000 men. They
will blockade every port whose en-
trance has six feet of water.
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
The Southern View
May 3, 1861 (Friday)

ISOI
Alexandria hears on good authority
from New York that w. B. Astor has
rendered to the United States as an
outright contribution to the cause of the
union a donation of 100000 and s1o
100000 more as a loan.
Five hundred rough and ready rangers
from Texas arrive in New Orleans TO
tender their services to the confederate
government. Dispatches from Calves
ton say there is as Yet no news Of the
expedition, by sea or land, which has
gone to capture the United States
troops encamped in the vicinity of In
dianola. The latter are reported to be
in possession of two schooners, seized
with a design TO leave in them. Major
McCulloch's regiment for the frontier,
advices say, has been mustered into
service at San Antonio. Forts Bliss and
Quitman are reported to have been al
ready surrendered to the Texas COM
missioners and will soon be garrisoned
by Texas troops
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
MIR. PEEVED PROTESTS

counter in the basement, I've toilsd
from the notions on the first floor TO
the leather goods on the twelfth, but,
by Jupiter, l matched that silk
1T was awfully nice of you, John"
commented his wife.
Doesn't Want Thanks
Mice nothing! I didn't do il for the
dolly. or whatever il is. did it 70
get the best of those confounded de-
partment stores. And I feel as though
I'd spent a day digging in the bitches.
How many skeins of silk have I
matched for that ridiculous thing, any
way. Fifty, I'll be bound.''
No" said Mrs. Peeved. only four
teen. I've kept count"
Fourteen! Think of it, I wouldn't
take $500 for the time I've spent match
ing those fourteen skeins for you. What
on earth is it you're making, any
way?'
Why" answered his wife. It's a
little thing I'm going 10 put the cats
saucer on. She doesn't seem to enjoy
her milk when the saucers just on the
bare floor"
Mr.. Peeved staggered toward the
door.
Don't wait up for me-" he said in a
choking voice. Maybe I'll never come
back
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
English Gunboats to Protect
Shipping in American Ports

The Charleston Courier says that
information has reached that city to
the effect that a large fleet of
British. gunboats is now being got
ready for sea at Portsmouth, Eng
land. and that it will be sent to that
vicinity at an early date to protect
English shipping. should it be neces-
Sarg.
Dispatches from Harper's Ferry
say that Col. T. J. Jackson (Stone-
walD. graduate OF West Point, dis
tinguished officer of artillery of the
United States army in the Mexican
war. and for ten years past a pro-
fessor in the Virginia Military In
stitute, has just assumed command
of Harper's Ferry, by order of the
government at Richmond. He is de-
scribed as an eminent soldier, prac-
ticed in training and instructing
others, and the man for the post to
which he has been assigned.
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
New Orlean. Ladies to Orsanize
Sisters of Confederate Army"

Ladies of New Orleans propose organ
izing a society to be called the Sisters
of the Confederate Army, for the pur-
pose of aiding and nursing sick and
wounded officers and soldiers.
Richmond hears that the New York
Seventh regiment has determined not to
assist IN invading Maryland or Virginia.
Presidents of several southern
railroads meet in Montgomery and de-
termine to add every facility for
the transportation of confederate
troops. provisions, munitions of war,
mails and other things They agree
10 take confederate state bonds in
DeYnne0t
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
$50 Federal Troops
Captured by Texans

A dispatch from New Orleans
states that Colonel Van Dorm, with
500 Texans, has captured $50 federal
troops under Major Sibley, who were
= at -Indianola, and attempted to es-
cape in two sailing vessels. Van Dorm
pursued them in three small steam
ers, and shortly afterward their way
to the sea was cut off by a steamer
from Galveston with 120 men and
three pieces of artillery on board,
when Major Sibey surrendered. The
officers are on parole, and the arms
captured have been turned over to
the state of Texas, private property
excepted. The men will be given the
option of enlisting in the confederate
army, or taking an oath not to serve
against it.
The Washington times., 1911-05-03

no YOU know that you soak up
- social tittle-tattle? OF course,
it is no use for any of US to
pretend that we are not interested in
people. We all like to know If Mr..
and Mrs. Blank are going to Florida
or are contemplating a divorce. It's
fun to be informed on the price Of
a debutante's Paris gown, and ii is
interesting to know whether the wife
of Mrs. Nobody's husbands law
partner was invited to Mrs. Nobody's
reception. The partnership dissolv-
ing disagreeably for the men makes
1t exciting to conjecture whether the
women will take up the quarrel
A Social Absorbent
But, much as we all delight to
listen to personals, we invariably
have a more or less silent con-
tempt for the Individual who feeds
us with the food which we know
disagrees with US. You are that
person. You do not mean to do
any harm; and more often than
not you do none. The very lack
that makes you repeat what others
say-your short supply of imagi-
nation and the consequent inability
to do original talking-makes you
carry your stories very accurately.
You haven't inventlveness enough
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
The Northern View
papers in several
May 3, 1861 CFridayD

The late minister to France, Mr..
Faulkner, a Virg'nian by birth, pre-
sented the commissioners from Jeff
Davis to the emperor yesterday, who
gave them no encouragement. The
French minister Of foreign affairs
said that the United States need have
no apprehension of a speedy recog-
milton by France of the southern CON
federacy. Mr. Dallas, our minister
to England, has refused to present
the commissioners to the Court Of St.
James
The Washington times., 1911-05-03

good to sell. They were some oranges
at that. II / was as good a speci-
men of a man as they were of oranges,
I'd want to be wrapped in tissue
paper, too.
That's the point-tissue paper. To
every woman that would refuse to
consider the orange question the boss
would point out casually that II was
funny, but the tissue paper they were
wrapped in was great for cleaning
spectaoles. Want to build a kennel
or something out of the empty crate?
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
Loretta's Looking Glass

to improve them or to twist them.
You have just one reason for being
a social absorbent You do 1t that
you may have something to give
out that will make you welcome
among your friends.
am sorry for you. You are one
of the lonely ones. You feel that
you have nothing especially to rec
ommend you to the interest of your
circle of acquaintance. You are
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
Our Grocery Clerk
Says It's a Cinch

The eyes of this country. fellow
citizens, are going to the dogs. !
mean the opticians
It's a fact, though, that in every
family of any size at all there's at
least one member with glasses.
didn't realize it, but the boss did.
That man is a regular realizing ma
chine.
He made use of it in getting rid Of
q crate of oranges that seemed too
The Washington times., 1911-05-03

side all was not. All was bright and
cheerful and gay within.
Should 1 turn over a new Iesf7',
Ysobel asked herself, "or should I
keep hitting 1t up on the old pager"
There was no answer, and the fair
girls feet were wavering towards the
lights, when she reflected again.
He was there. He HE.
He was the same cashier who had
seen her slip by the evening before
without the formality of paying her
bill.
-Resolutely, Ysobel Schmooeh turned
her steps towards a different life,
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
Ysobel Reforms; Or,
Conflicting Emotions

Ysobel Schmooch, young and beautf-
full, to say the least, hesitated outside
the glittering Cafe de Bon Bon, torn
between conflicting emotions between
the hours Of II and II p. m.
Outside all was dark and dismal. In
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
WHEN NOAH WAS A BOY

His mother had an abiding horror Of
mice. She needn't have had any fear
that mouse would run under her
skirts, cause that would have been
impossible without the aid of car
penter.
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
The Difference

A woman buys her clothes to keep in
style,
So she has new ones every little
while.
A man will purchase clothes and hats
and leather
When old ones will no longer hang
together
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
Laugh a Little,
Lightly or Loudly
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY
Enumerating humors;

Small and perky child (peering into
the darkness which envelops the
schedule hunter)-Come out O. that
coal cupboard, mum; faint farver
This bloke's sober an got collar on! I!
The Pink I'm.
The Washington times., 1911-05-03

where they by Ho eveybod lose their appets
at you till felt though you'd been sean the baby milk
your coffee, sonepin,
No. Belle; first break little big
for mouth off slice then butter that little
cary the butter fingers and then
you the little you broke off Belle
time eat bread that each little break off to YELL
Mama" until choke with butter So gen'rIy
with the kid by breakn half and ettin that
Breakin the staff life splnters don't fair
the staff does it, Belle?
Table Talks the Important Thing
What think somebody ought book of etiquette
table talk the worlds
there's somebody family
supper spring the latest details about how
corpse looked natural than did when alive
Toms for appendicitis successful he's
bad because the doctors neglected to take the
medicine chest when they sewed him again.
kind has spoiled apple than
the world And when of the famys
neghboTs drop and supply
while the head o the house is carvin.
It's biggest table Of Belle and when
that takes the whole family
when he's drinking his and the that
ksf fun'ra give the time
Laugh and grow fat Belle, and do at meal times
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
As a Preliminary Step

"All women are~in quest of beauty"
Not ALL
MOP" ..
mo. Some are in quest OF the man
to pay the bills of the beauty DOCTOR"
The Washington times., 1911-05-03

40 invented table etiquette, wonder, BELIEF Must
a been some man with 4 small appetite and likin'
for sittin at the table till the cook gives notice
| guess O. course, don't mean putin the ban on
don' the sword swallowin' act with peas on the
side, actin the principle that fingers were
made before forks and amt half as much trouble
or drnkin your soup out loud. mean the fussy lit
tie things that the books etiquette tell you about
The rules for eatn' bread are the funniest,
Belle. The on'y comftable way of eatin bread is
the way the kids do it, putin butter to suit
your taste and then beginnin' at the nearest end.
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
His Wife Was On

His Wife Was On
He has money to burn"
Really
Yes.
II don't see much of a conflagration /"
The fire department Is on the look
out"
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
HIS STATUS

He-Who's that gentleman over in
the corner?
she-That's no gentleman. That's my
ex-husband.
The Washington times., 1911-05-03
Sounds Easy

OUulIuS EdSy
What is your idea of happiness?'
"oh, just having nothing to be un-
happy about"
The Washington times., 1911-05-03

IFTY years ago began the memorable struggle
between the north and south known generally
the civil war
Old newspapers of both northern and southern
cities published during that stirring period have
been searched and the war news and current
fecton of public sentiment presented from
day to day they appeared in each section at
that time.
From the southland the dispatches taken
directly from the files of an old-time newspaper Of
Richmond, Va, and from the north the news is
drawn from several sources, including files of old
of the larger cities.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-01-01

A new ''long distance record for
dairy COWS has been established by
"Katy Gerben' a Holstein cow be-
longing to the University OF Wisconsin.
During the twelve months ending
Decmeber 1st, she produced 776
pounds of butter. This COW is prob
ably tie most remarkable COW in the
world for continuous butter produc-
ton. In 1905 she produced 395. 45
lbs. of butter; in 1906, 723. So; lbs. in
1907, 621. 40; lbs. in 1908, 653. 81 ; lbs. in
1909, 776.O0 lbs. This makes an aver
age of butter for five years Of 634. =
Oh lbs. When we consider that the
average COW produces but $50 pounds
of butter per year, dairymen should
sit up and take notice. This COW has
produced in the five years past more
than the average herd of four cows.
Her feed probably did not cost $50
per year more than the average COW
and yet tour cows were MIXED, fed
and taken care of to get less milk
than this COW alone gave. Not every
dairyman can produce TOO pound
COW but there are a great many who
can produce 300 pound COW if they
will attend to breeding and take
proper care of the herd. With these
figures in mind it would seem that
every dairyman who is milking scrub
COWS would at once change his methods
of doing business.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-01-01

One of the most valuable annual
numbers which has reached our desk
is that OF the Bellingham Herald, an
88 page number, on December 18th.
This was filled with statistics of the
growth and stories of the success OF
the settlers of Skagit and Whatcom
counties, and is number which
should do an immense amount OF good
TO those counties. 1t was full OF
splendid articles. An unusually good
page was that devoted to Mt. Vernon,
showing the splendid results OF the
dairy industry in that vicinity, and
especially the boost given this IN
dustry by the Pacific Coast Condensed
Milk Co. Another page was devoted
to the cement industry, showing It's
great growth in Whatcom county.
One page was devoted to what Whatcom
farm lands can produce and especially
the splendid returns from berry lands.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-01-01

The farmers of British Columbia
have a new plan Of holding their an
nual meetings. These will take place
this year at Victoria IN the Woman s
pavilion the exhibition grounds.
The dairy association will meet on
January 4th and has an excellent
program outlined, that should be of
interest and benefit to every dairy
man in that vicinity. On the 9Th
the Stock Breeders Association meets.
They also have splendid program.
The 9th is the day set aside for the
meeting of the Poultry Association.
Their program consists of several
addresses by prominent roultrymen.
This plan is good one and should
result in great benefit to all.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-01-01

Mr.. F.. Samuelson, of Mt. Vernon,
is making an effort to get up an
annual horse show. He says a we'll
matched team of good size can be
sold for $500 and that there is splendid
profit in raising good horses. The
Ranch believes Mr.. Samuelson has
the right idea and should be en-
couraged in his efforts to increase
the breeding of good horses in the
Pacific Northwest. Mr.. Samuelson
himself is successful breeder OF good
horses and is capable of managing
such a show. He should have all the
encourage possible.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-01-01
Economical Buying
Scientific Shopping


developed
is known the age or RS specialists"
SHOPPING believe that Scientific Buying and shop
and Necessary to Know How TO 3
expended as 10
live right
THE VITAL itself mind you
Clothing Household
Necessities well uxur
Tell friendsa andy friends Tell 1t
this but has been able to
religion politics, UNIONS combines
things have failed
Association
Manan n purchase of Every Commodity
depending the line goods
material purchased
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-01-01

The annual meeting of the state
creamery operators was held in Ia
coma the week ending December IT,.
A report showed that during the year
1863 butter was produced in this state
TO the value Of So, $780, 900. There are
191 creameries in the state, represent
ing a value of about 800, 900. The
dairy products in the state were about
s15, 600, 900 and the dairy products
consumed in the state were about
1875. 900, 900. These figures show that
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-01-01

Among the valuable ANIMALS issued,
the Pacific Homestead, of Salem,
Oregon, takes a high place. 1t was
pretty special number of 80 pages,
filled with excellent half-tones and a
good supply of advertisements, most
Iy of livestock.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-01-01

This is practical proposition of
dollars and cents. If you read the
following, you will find it full of
truth and facts and we believe 1T will
appeal to your reason, to the extent
that you will patronize this service,
because any sane man who is guar
anteed a saving of from few dollars
to hundreds of dollars year without
risk or loss, would take advantage Of
this proposition.
The fact that we make it possible
for the family or individual to save
money on the necessities OF life. as
we'll as to buy the Injuries at lowest
cost is sufficient Introduction for our
business.
OUR CLAIM -We claim we can and
do save our patron from five to as
much as so per cent on goods we pur-
chase for them, including Groceries,
Canned Goods, Furniture, Carpets,
Rugs, Curtains, Towels, Notions,
Watches, Jewelry, Diamonds, Men s
Clothing, Ladies' Suits, Sporting
Goods, Rubber Goods, Glass and
Chinaware, Dishes, Hardware, Stoves
iron, Sheet Iron and Steel, Lumber,
Building Material, Sash, Doors, Brick,
Mill-work, Gas Lighting Systems,
Plans, Organs, Sewing Machines,
Office Desks, Safes, Library Furniture
Ranges, Gas Stoves and 10, 600 other
articles shown in our Purchasers
| Index.
HOW CAN WE DO THlS?-For
years we have been purchasing mer-
chandise, supplies, machinery, equip
ment, provisions, ETC., for merchants,
private parties, corporations, manu-
| facturers, railroads, public buildings,
etc. We aim to buy where and from
whom our customers desire us to
however, when left to us we buy where
we can get the best goods, quickest
delivery, lowest price. preferably IN
, Seattle, where we carry complete IN
deXes and many samples.
SPECIAL QUOTATlONS-We will
cheerfully quote prices and submit
estimates upon request, as fully ex-
planned in our Purchasers Manual
and Index.
EASY PAYMENTS - While our
general business is based on cash with
order, yet we are in a position to
open accounts for our patrons so that
they may pay in monthly payments,
on furniture, household goods, car
pets. rugs, curtains, bedSteadS, etc.
These accounts will be opened upon
special request; arrangements will be
made so that no exhorbitant price
will be charged. Our customer will
have long time in which to pay fol
the goods. He will get the very best,
"The Bank pays 8 per Gel
pays 5 to so per cent on what yt
Write for our 1911 Buyers
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-01-01

the dairy industry in the state can be
doubled and still but little more than
supply the market, with our rapidly
increasing population.