davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
QUAKER MEDITATIONs.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
Never stays up late at night-a
folding bed
Fame's laurel wreath fits mighty
few heads.
A dollar will go farther if you mail
it than if you bet it.
The trouble with reform is that it
generally comes too late to do US any
good.
1t is natural to respect gray hairs.
especially if we happen to be bald our
selves.
When a woman is clothed with
authority, she thinks most of how it
should be trimmed.
The cynical bachelor rises to re-
mark that woman is only the weaker
vessel before she is manned.
where there is smoke there is al
ways fire" quoted the Wise Guy.
ALSO insurance" added the Simple
Mus.
If it wasn't for the fact that a fool
and his money are soon parted, the
lawyers would soon be looking for
other, Jobs.
One of the suburban parks an
nounces a female brass band Which
leads one to inquire just what is female
brass.
Mrs. Wigwag: when your husband
takes you to the theatre does he ever
go out between the acts?'' Mrs. Guz-
zler: We'll, I wouldn't express it in
just that way. He sometimes comes in
between drinks
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
Between Gentlemen.

One day the old southerner walked
into a bankers office. The southerner
was a typical gentleman of the old
school-suave, courteous to the point of
punctiliousness, and honorable to a de-
gree of marytrdom.
What can L do for your" asked the
banker.
well" replied the southerner, some
what more than IS years ago 1 lent a
man down south some money-not a
very big sum. I told him that when
ever I should need it would let hiTu
know, and he could pay me the money.
need some money now so shall let
him know, and would like to have you
transact the business for me-"
My good friend,'' replied the bank
er, you have no claim on that money.
You can't hold that man to that loan.
You say it has been 35 years since you
lent it to him? The statute of limita-
lions has run against that loan years
and years ago.
Sir replied the southerner, "the
man to whom 1 lent that money is a
gentleman. The statute of limitations
never runs against a gentleman"
So the banker sent for the money,
and within a reasonable time thereafter
the money came. There was a courtly
gentleman at the other end of the
transaction also.-Kansas City Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
.JAYHAWKER JOTS

A good many sports who should be
swatting the flies, says the Emporia
Gazette, seem to be diligently swat
ting the umpires.
Some men are so small, argues the
Mcpherson Republican, they make a
badge seem important when they wear
| it.
There is reason to believe, thinks
the Emporia Gazette, that DIR. Cook
has been at the head of the federal
forces in Mexico.
Many a mar speaks of his wife as
his better half, says the Nickerson Ar
cosy, when he knows full we'll that she
is the whole thing.
One boy defines a scrap book, re-
ports the Clyde Farmers Voice, as a
book which gives the records of all
the big scraps by rounds.
Florida watermelons have reached
the northern markets, says the Atchi-
son Champion, and the demand for
Jamaica ginger is encouraging to the
trade.
Good spenders are generally popular
while they live, says the Salina Jour
nal, but the trouble comes when they
die and the widow is obliged to set
tie up the estate.
Out in California they are trying to
establish Fathers Day" Here in Kan
sas fathers day is the first of the
| month and he is not especially anxious
to have any special stir made over it
Salina Journal.
Usually, says the Lincoln Republi-
can, there is a big difference between
the appearance of the dooryard at the
home of the man who spends his even
ingS down town, and that of the one
who spends them at home. Perhaps
the man who stays at home evenings
insists that his wife shall keep the
premises in the best possible condition.
Great reforms move slCwI., remarks
the Kingman Journal. 1t takes much
| longer to teach a boy to wash his neck
and ears than it takes for him to teach
the pup a new trick. Most boys never
| learn to wash above the high-water
mark till they reach the age when girls
begin to take notice. Funny, isn't it
how very few great reforms there are
without "a woman back of them some
where.
Ewing Herbert tells Of a Kansas
girl who prevented a brick house fall
ing on her by being down in the cellar
| helping her father sort potatoes to
plant. Now if the brick house fell and
she was in the cellar we fail to see
how helping her father sort potatoes
prevented the house falling on her
Now If she had been up on the roof
mailing shingles or something instead
of the house falling on her she would
have fallen on the house. But here
we are "wrecklessly'' spelling a good
cyclone story with a moral lesson to
Kansas girls. Guess we had better
change the subject.-HoltCn Recorder.
Many a man who is unable to meet
| his subscription account can nearly
always, says the Hoxie Sentinel.
muster up enough coin of the realm
to send in an order for jug of bug
Juice
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
Making the Rat Work.

Deputy United States Marshal Ed
ward Marsales started out to obtain
20 live rats to fill an order from Frank
Ebey, connected with a telephone COM
pany at Rockfort. The order finally
was placed with Prof" Richard H.
Dorney-"professor'' of rat catching.
F. H. Lawrence. of the engineering
department of the Chicago Telephone
company, said that the rats are used in
placing cables.
"A rat is loosed in a pipe through
Which a cable is to be placed" he said.
Then a string is tied to a ferret, which
pursues the rat, carrying the string
through the pipe. On the small string a
larger one is attached, and on that a
still larger, until a big wire cable is
pulled through. Chicago dispatch to
the New York World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison Globe.l

LFrom the Atchison Globe.l
Are you duly thankful for your mar
row escapes?
There are no more deuces than aces
in a deck. but we seem to hold more
of them.
Some things had better be learned in
a correspondence school than by ex-
perience.
Heaven is going to be a dismal place
if it happens they don't print the box
score there.
Laughing at mans mistakes is more
likely 10 cause him to correct them
than scolding him.
And then it is possible to be so ever
lastingly proper that any amount OF
gossip won't touch you.
+ A youth is too bashfuI for this ag-
gressive age if he needs pal1nistry as
an excuse for holding hands.
Quite a number of men are able to
make dignity serve the same purpose
as laziness serves for others.
Dogs die from numerous different
ills and accidents, but overwork isn't
included in the canine casualty list.
Our notion of the keenest sense OF
hearing is that of musical comedy
actress for catching the sound of an
encore.
Reform is all right. but now and
then you encounter a reformer VINO
actually thinks he is the ''public's
pulse"
There seems to be no limit to the
extent to which some people can
spread when they commence to take
on flesh.
No boy ever has as much fun as he
expects to when he plays hockey from
school; it takes time to kill a con-
science.
Until he has pretty good evidence to
the contrary. every politician thinks he
is in position to command ma
jority.
Because your dad did, may not con-
stitute a sound basis for political al
1egiance. but 1t is as good as a num-
Der of others
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

thing she had asked of him. Since
there were only himself and Margaret
of the blood, he had been glad to dc
it. 1t hurt him sorely that Miss Mar
Igaret was setting herself against his
plan for a further centratfon of the
family.
She had never so appealed to him
as in the shaded light that evening
There was some thing shy. even wistful
about her--she spoke with a softly
hesltant intonatfon, unlike her usual
crisp utterance.
BY time she brought herself around
to her plans for the future before
she could even begin to think of shap-
ing her asking for help he was quite
beside himself. So far beside himself
indeed he forgot to remember their
relative situations-forgot everything
indeed but that he was a man, and
Internationally, in the presence of the
woman he wanted most in all the
world
Therefore he was a new person to
Margaret-one speaking almost gruffiy
breaking into her neat platitudes with
something incisiYe, if irrelevant She
looked at him in wonder. After Aunt
Elizabeth had taken herself away, she
moved little apart from Thomas and
tried to begin steadily:
please, please, do understand, am
not an ingrate-'
1 <,
Thomas said with the strange new
note, not waiting for her to finish "All
can see," he went on, his eyes
SIN ouldering little, "is that you dis
like me so much you can't be reason
able'
You are wrong-all wrong" Mar
garet sighed, TREMENDOUSLY.
Thomas stared at her-he had ex-
pected her to flash out at his injustice.
She went on brokenly: "You-you are
the best, the kindest-kinsman-
the world love you-for-for being
SO good-too much to take advantage
of-the situation"
said stiff1y. sudden comprehension
flooding his mind. "I love you too
much not to take advantage of the sit
uation. In proof-this-and this-and
this!" raining a shower of kisses upon
her startled eyelids.
Margaret gaSped-then let herself
lie against his breast for an instant.
Suddenly she pushed him away, freed
herself, and said in a high voice:
81 did mean to ask help of you
now it is quite impossible"
ALSO wholly unnecessary Thomas
retorted. 81 am going to set you UP
in iness-whether or >ro!"
20! indeed! What sort of bust
ness?" Margaret asked demurely.
He looked at her steadily, then said
shaking his head: 1.-THE business OF
making a good wife, out of very
spoiled young woman! 1t is the best
opening I see for you
"I have only myself to inVest-what
returns can you promise?" Margaret
asked plaintively.
Thomas caught both her hands: "a
lifetime of love and happiness" he
said-and Margaret smiled, content
Copyright, 1911, by Associated Liter
airy Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Careless and neglectfu1 people are
apt to insist that they are absent
minded.
=
In the game of life, as in some
games of cards, there is often a crook
ed deal.
Stealing kiss, while not so desig-
mated by law, is under most circum-
stances perfectly grand larceny.
X \
What has become of the old-faSh-
toned man who always suggested that
perplexing problems could only be
solved by "a Philadelphia lawyer"
Most women prefer to have lies told
about them instead of the truth-whe en-
it comes to their ages, provided, of
course, said lies are under the mark.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
FROM OTHER PENS
WOMAN sUFFRAGE+LIMITED.

WOAlA4N SUI I OE--11 NIL L ELL.
The present British ministry has evil
IDENTIFY decided to try the effect of a
very limited sort of woman suffrage
upon the suffragettes. The progress
of a bill now pending in the house of
commons practically insures the en-
actment of a law which will give the
ballot to women who are household
ers." Under it's provisions married
women, possessed of the necessary
property qualifications, can vote, but
not in the same divisions or districts,
as we say in this country, where their
husbands exercise the right of suffrage.
Possibly the militant leaders of the
movement for woman suffrage will ac-
|cept this very limited form of the priv
iIege they demand, taking it as an en-
tering wedge in their struggle for ma
tional suffrage on equal terms with
men. Perhaps their method of attack
upon the authorities will b. modified
and made less vehement and spectacu-
lar. But this is doubtful. They are
not in the mood to be thankful for
small favors. Neither is there any sign
that many of them are weary of the
kind of activity and publicity which
some have seemingly enjoyed.-Cleve-
land Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
LFrom the Chicago News. ]

LFTom the Chicago News.1
Love is a nondirigible airship.
A pretty young widow soon finds a
press agent.
Buying experience is seldom a divi-
dend paying investment
The way to get your expectations to
come true is not have any.
It's what our neighbors haven't that
makes Us appreciate what we have.
A man is justified in waiting a long
while for a woman who is worth while.
a grass widow says it is easier to
catch a husband than it is to lose him
later.
A homely girl may be able to crush
man with look. where a pretty one
would only mash him.
No doubt the airship is all right in
its place. but we do not believe in rum
ming the thing into the ground.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Some one will be sure tc insist that
the farmers of Kansas are unreason-
able again in the kicks they are max
ing because the state authorities are
selling prison made Irvine to whole
salers Mt 4 cents a pound while Z u
cents a pound is charged to farmers
who buy direct from the state. The
farmers have the privilege, you know,
Of getting the wholesale rate If they
buy Irvine from the state in carload
lots. It is safe to assume that a
citizen could get the wholesale rate
in a breakfast food or or bacon if he
would buy either in carload lots.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
HUAoR or THE Day

TITS a play that hasn't one redeeming
feature" Except the scene in the pawn
brokers' shop.'-Judge.
paw, are there microbes in sugar
Yes, Bobby" CThoughtful pause) W. ell
1 don't blame 'em, paw."-Chicago IT'D
une.
Suitor-If you refuse me 1 shall never
love another. Suited-Does that hoIu
good IL 1 accept you?-Chicago Daiiy
News.
Improved by Age.-"But don't you think
the earl is rather too old for your daush-
teri" mot bit of It. The older tne
better. I've seen some old earls who were
rather decent. Judge.
A student at the Western Reserve pnl-
versity suffers from the stigma OF ooes-
ity: II appears that even professors 90
not love a fat man. After a particularly
unsuccessful recitation In English H. tne
professor said: "Alas, MIR. BLANK; 49,, ~ ~
are better fed than taught ina.
right, professo-," sighed the youth, ss5
siding heavily You teach mel leeo
myself-Argonaut-
Mrs. Bacon-And why did your SOo .,a
leave you? Mrs. Egbert-She wanteu uS
to raise her wages. And what were "a
paving her?' why, $15 month AM, Anu
couldn't you raise that much ?''-f ohAeiS
Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
AN FXCELLENT LAW.
AS TO TATTIERS.

Tattlers are confined to no particular
class of society. They belong to all
classes, and operate in all. We find
them among the rich AMI the poor
upper ten and the lower million"
in the church and out of it. They are
people who have no higher ambition
than to be well informed in regard to
other peoples private business, to re-
tail scandal to their neighbors. and
exult in fiendish triumph over the
wounded feelings and bruised hearts
of an innocent victim.-Spring Hill
New Era.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
THE WAR ON POVERTY.

Once more has Lloyd George demon
strated his prominence in that states
manship which requires a statistical
brain and q sympathetic heart. His Sec
ond assault on the Doverty of Great
Britain and Ireland takes the form Of
a gigantic plan to care for the sick and
the unemployed, his first being the old
age pension bill, which has proved 50
pronounced q success
The pension plan, when introduced by
him, met with tremendous opposition,
whereas the plan which he unfolded to
parliament recently was received with
appreciation by all parties. It's success,
therefore, is assured Thus the people
of Great Britain and Ireland show their
faith in a practical philanthropy
which many economists think is only
the introduction to an era of real hu-
man brotherhood
Being now fully committed to the
proposition that the government to a
certain extent must protect its people
against sickness, idleness and old age.
no backward step is likely. Democracy
in some form or other is at present a
great world movement.-Boston Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

It sounds mighty good to hear the
Santa Fe Employees Magazine say
that Topeka stands today "the most
splendid city of the Sunfiower state"
The fact will not down. though. that
the Santa Fe and other railroads in the
state are going to build the first big
union depot in Kansas at Wichita.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
IFrom the New York Press

IFrom the New York Press.l
woman gets the same comfort out
of her Bible a man does out of his pipe.
Getting married makes girl suddenly
remember a lot of things she knows
The fellow who knows he's the biggest
natriot is the officeholder who Is sup
ported out of taxes.
Nobody in the country ever has mos
ouitoes at his home unless there 70
some visitor there to discover theih'
A man wants the whole family 70 ses
IS going to be late for an appointment.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Commenting on the opinion of a
noted sociologist that the women of
the future will wear sandals and sus-
penders, the Philadelphia Inquirer re-
marks: Unless as a means of keeping
the sandals on we are unable to see
what useful purpose the suspenders
will serve
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

If any strange sounds are heard in
Topeka during the next three weeks it
might be we'll to charge them up to
the practicing of enthusiastic Esperan-
fists who are getting in trim for the
state convention of their order to be
held here on June and 9.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Nursing will become more popular
than ever among the young women
who are seeking lucrative professions.
The nurse who cared for Walter Duryea
during the twelve years he lived with a
broken neck receives fortune, under
his will, that amounts to 81, 300, 900
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

1t appears that the justices of the
supreme court of the United States will
have to take the Chautauqua platform
this summer and explain to the people
the real merits and effect of the Stand
ard Oil case decision, as most of the
editors and the legal lights of the ma
ton are expressing all kinds of differ
ing views about If
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

That interview with the Dalai Lamu
OF Thibet, the first statement that has
ever been given to the public by that
peculiar potentate, was scarcely worth
the trouble it took to get it. Even
those occasional interviews which float
from the mouths of "Hinky Dink''
Kenna and "Bathhouse john Cough
lin. both of Chicago, are far more in
teresting.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

One reform to follow peace in Mex
leo that win be worth while contem-
plates the elimination of convicts from
the files of the Mexican army. Their
utter uselessness as soldiers has GER
tainly been pressed home in a forcible
fashion
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
LONG SEA VOYAGES.

The relation of the Panama canal to
the long voyages around Cape Horn is
strikingly illustrated by the experience
of the French sailing vessel which ar
rived at the docks at Portland, Ore,
one day last week. 1t had been $50
days out from Dublin, Ireland, and
had made one of the slowest voyages
of the season. although its experience
had not been at all unusual for SINH
lar craft. The vessel met many severe
gales, which at times almost put her
out of commission. Her captain and
crew report all sorts of hardships
during the time that the ship was at
the mercy of the sea, and it is easy
to assume that they were glad to reach
Portland at ALL The truth appears to
be that the sea is at present full of
such lonely craft endeavoring to round
Cape Horn in either direction through
a region of almost perpetual gales, af-
ter idling in the "doldrums." SO irri-
tating to the dispirited crews. In fact,
such experiences are nothing unusual
when Cape Horn has to be weathered.
Manchester Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Norris L. Gage is a man among
men. His latest benefaction to the
city and the Provident Association is
the purchase of property which will
be turned into a playground for the
children who attend the day nursery
at Topeka's real charitable institution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

There is nothing unusual in the fact
that Texas leads all the other states
in the matter of railroad mileage. 1t
takes a long string of railroad line to
reach from one civilized center to an
other in the Lone Star state.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

More work for the grave diggers. An
aero-taxi, that is an aeroplane which
k-l1l carry passengers at SO much per
mile, is soon to be put in operation in
Switzerland.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Considering the situation that has
existed in Mexico. it will have to be ad-
Initted that the dove of peace is per-
Eisfent bird
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Now that all the hot weather rec
ords of May for recent years have
been broken, if the weather men are
reasonable they will put on the brakes
In this line of endeavor. There can
be too much of good thing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Anyhow, when Diaz retires from the
presidency of Mexico he won't have
to exc out living by going into vaude-
willie or on the Chautauqua platform.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The state Journal Is a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full DAY
telegraph report OF that great news or
ganizafion for the exclusive AFTERNOON
publication in Topeka.
The news is received in The State jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

Cold weather may be expected as
soon as the amusement parks open for
the summer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-20

In other words. the die is cast in
Mexico.