davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
Loretta's Looking Glass

SSTHE large majority Of divorces
occur in the first Ave years
of married life"
This isn't MY say. 1 got 1t from
a report Of a court authority. BUT
its q proof Of the pudding that have
been cooking In these articles.
The FATAL FIVE YEARS! why
ARE they7 II say they are fatal be-
cause Of the fault Of the girls, SIP
pose even the hottest and most enervat-
ing summer day will not be enough to
reduce to harmlessness the wrath that
will rise and aim itself at me.
My Inflamed Sisters
But. like Eva TanguaE don't care,
because have the courage Of my con-
victions. 1 have the moral support Of
the strong backboned gentleman. who
said briefly and effectively. be sure
you're right, THEN GO AHEAD! And,
So Help Me ALL THE POWERS THAT
DO ATTEND UPON AN UNSELFISH
GOOD CAUSE, AM going ahead, II I
break my typewriter and have to call
out the National Guards to protect me
from the wrath to come from my in
famed sisters.
It is the fault OF women that these
five years are so apt to be fatal to
matrimonial careers. It's because they
are so stupidity ignorant of what they
OUGHT to know, Of what they have
GOT to do. It's NOT q matter of tenn
permanent: it's a matter of ignorance
and inexperience in the ordinary nee
essary things that MUST form the
practical base Of any life partnership.
It gives me the woozies to hear
some sentimental or sensational wom-
en- talk about "the change IN a girls
life when she marries being SO radI-
cal and SO difficult that she gives
way under It," It's such nonsense.
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
she HOLDS IT UP TO THE
FATAL FIVE YEARS

Ing of housekeeping before she rushes
brazenly into the assumption of du-
ties which she not only does not un-
derstand but wholly underestimates.
She can't get the potatoes and the
steak done at the same time. She
wears herself out in attempting to
work with tools unfamiliar to her
hands. She knows nothing Of domes-
tics, so she cannot keep servants. She
either imposes on them or lets them
slight thlngs-one course as bad as
the other.
The Domestic Muddle
Mind you, I am not saying that q
GIRLS INTENTIONS are wrong. In
tentions may be good paving stones
for the place below, but they cannot
run a home. IT'S the struggle with
the domestic muddle that makes ner-
vous wrecks Of women and drives
husbands to the society of the ladies
who make divorces. And the sooner
We calmly and coolly lay aside this
silly old martyresque notion that the
association of a loving man and
woman can cause misery, and con-
centrate on the fact that the circun-
stances which disturb and dislocate
the domestic machinery are to blame
for those FATAL FIVE YEARS, the
better for US all.
When the machinery Of a home is
gotten to running smoothly, the dan
ger of divorce Is minimized. What
devil of cross-eyed vision affiicts US
into blindness to the need for knowl-
eCse before we enter the holy bonds
OF wedlock? What's the matter with
mothers, that they do not insist upon
a training that Will enable their
daughters to enter marriage LEARNED
In THE ART OF HOMEMAKING in
stead of as CANDIDATES FOR d.
vORCE COURTS?
The Washington times., 1911-08-25

The human animal Is like the others:
nature has established its habits and
Its natural inclinatIons It's the in
sane insistence upon reversing or dis
regarding nature that makes the mis-
chief. II a man has felt the attrac-
ton Of girl sufficiently to ask her
to share his life, as he wishes to
share hers. it's only reasonable and
natural that the love should grow
rather than decline in those first hve
years. The reason 1t wears out Is be-
cause the man has to encounter the
worry and wear, the nerves and the
complainings Of the girl who has
BIT OFF MORE THAN SHE CAN
CHEW. HE has made a living-at-
tended to his work-6efore he got
her. SHE has generally learned moth
The Washington times., 1911-08-25

three parts, and that Caesar had been
given authority to help himself.
Oops, my dear-Ceasar was heard to
use this expression just after he crossed
the Rubicon. Turning to a group Of his
generals he cried exultantly: loops,
my dear, now let's mix 1t up!''
Get your goat.-After Caesar had
smote the Helvetii hip and thigh for
the seventy-second time, the Helvetii
turned tail and beat II, whereupon
Caesar leaned upon his sword, and
painted: ''Mirabile dictu, fellows. we've
got their goat at lastg'
1t is affirmed by scme that Caesars
words were, AT last their goat Is
ours" but we believe the first version to
be the correct one.
The Washington times., 1911-08-25

into the boss, and in three hours We
unloaded more than half of the stun.
Attention. the boss would tip me on
when he saw a customer on the ap-
proach, and as soon as she was within
hearing distance, he'd chant, We'll,
we'll, only one box Of that buckwhesS
left and don't know when I'll be able
to get any more"
Yes, It sure did sell some rapid" ia
come back. And could we get the Gus
toner to buy that last box"7 We
couldn't stop her.
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
Reward of Merit

Railroad President-That was a bad
accident, but II might have been a
thousand times worse. Suppose those
cars had taken fire? Phew! Why
didn't they7
Superintendent-Al lazy brakeman had
let the fire go out.
President-Raise his salary.
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
Custom House Humor

Two Germans who were crossing the
Luxembourg frontier declared to the
customs officials: We have with US
three bottles of red wine each. How
much is there to pay?"
Where is it?'' was asked.
well, inside u.s."
The official gravely looked at his
tariff book and read: wine in casks,
20 shillings: in bottles. 4s shillings;
in donkeys' hides, free. Gentlemen"
he added, looking up, you can go"
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
To Be Told
Over Again

THE PUBLICIST'S MISTAKE
What this town needs most" said
the eminent publicist, 'is a thorough
cleaning up, about a dozen new
bridges and a hrst-class subway sys-
tenn"
You are mistaken" replied the av-
erage citizen. What this town needs
most is a good left-hand pitcher"
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
Rush Of Opulence

Summer Boarder-What's making all
that noise? Surely you are not running
threshing machine at this time Of
year?
The Farmer-No. the boys are figuring
up the farms profits on our new rapid
calculating machine.
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
Advance of Civilization

Papa 1ndian-My dear, know where
I can get peach Of a war bonnet for
about two skins.
Mama Indian-The Society of Emanci-
pated squaws has decided against war
bonnets for family men. The feathers
tickle the papoose.
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
Some Feeling

One day small Tommy was given q
piece OF fish for dinner. What kind
of fish is this?' he asked.
"Shad," replied his mother.
"well,' said Tommy, "a shad must
feel pretty sure Of anything IL feels
in its bones."-Chicago News.
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
A Sea of Fun
In Every Line
ENGLISH Joke FOR TODAY

Very senseless. this channel flying"
observed the young married lady Of
Hendon. as Conneau and the rest drop
ped, one after another. into that pleas
ant retreat.
Not in the least" chirruped her
maiden sister. Look at the men it's
bringing into the place!'-The Pink I'm.
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
Our Grocery Clerk
Says, oh, BuckWheat

Would you like to hear the neat
little trick we pulled on to sell
couple OF dozen boxes Of buckwheat.
or haven't you much interest in the
matter? Either way I'm going to tell
you all about II.
Il was pufickly good buckwheat, but
1t simply wouldn't be disposed of. But
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
ImmortalizationS
of Julius Caesar

Oh. you kid.-This expression was
first used by Caesar in the year 49 B. c.
when Tiberius acquainted him with the
news that all Gaul was divided into
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
Discipline

IT hate to insist on my husbands TAX
ing me away for the summer. 1t costs
a great deal Of money"
why do you require It. then?"
I've got to keep him in a stuffy hotel
for a few weeks every year to make
him appreciate the way keep house"
The Washington times., 1911-08-25


acquaintance and not the only the world makes
TOT
OF your love And that have that birthday
the growth of heart and mind we'll bodfor sake
dear-because want to be proud of me.
The girls all here today and each brought something
for house instead of the usual y things that girl her
birthday and altogether about the I've had
for Just the loving of make appreciate and
the little happy things of life and people, and that's the wonderful
isn't it?
OF long the girls coming going have
big and elaborate uncheona ghtul of although
being you don't know thaand then houghtnoater ALL
dad has confessed he isn't rch and why through silly little
whom friends And seemed suddenly how whole
little nicer than Others and thought selfish pang
heart, how much l would like have all that money
Put Our Heads Together
So instead Of having mother and the cook and
heads together and decabe and dainty little meal
and everybody enjoyed laughed Bit although
when girl caught hands said
everything vowed that she had look lobster salad
crab the face she would die And
think hate the inevitable food
don't indgestb
And then dad bless his heart pleased when mother told
him that he five dollar gold for bank which
getting awfuy heavy becausI Tess up haven't had Of
chocolates sundae since How is that for
penuriousness?
But there, don't them I'm living in little
eyum of hedged with the wonders of love
dreams of what the future bring Oh dear
dear what happy birthday this has been because of Good
night H.
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
Appropriate

AT last I've found a motto Tor my
new paper, What we have we noid-
.wben IA II to be published?"
published nothing! It's a new fly
paper"
The Washington times., 1911-08-25

Nom little kid in the second gradeM to
help with home work. If the equator
from the of gravity why don't the circle coespond
Mighty Hard the Poor Parents
81 don't know dear the poor mother1 Those
things all comparatively Ask somepn
fractions"
Never heard Of EN-" the kid1l
Common things like fractions O. date Belle Instead
the teachers nowadays substitute practical problems th help
pupils battle O. life
F "I 90 Swedes pink suspnder build
asylum 32 hours how will
rubbers on 10 swim the English channel'
But that's the beginners questions third
grade pupil could the that without lookn
his astronomy book.
If they make 'h advanced pupils
fifth grades think little heyd ask
you could put a family
fourteen days dc with four gallons O. kechup
The Washington times., 1911-08-25

Benny, I sed TO my cuzzin Benny
the othir day, do you want to make
sum muny, and Benny sed. Sure, and
sed lets US have a wite hope kontest.
Do you no that littil koon that kums
erround looking for old noospapirs,
sed.
Promoting II
Yes, sed Benny. and I sed, Well. he
can be Jack johnson. and Fudge Sim
kins can be the wife hope. avn ak
kount of being sutch a fine fter. and we
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
Not Serious

What do you think Of the gas prop
osition7'
well, any gas scheme which Is pro-
posed the public Il bound to make light
Of"
The Washington times., 1911-08-25
M A ME TELLS BELLE
Children Know More Than
Their Parents Wow-Rs
HOW THEY EDUCATE EN-

SIX any parent old enough to have kid in the first
grade, Belle-the public schools amt what they
used to be. You don't spose do you, that our
mothers and fathers could go home from school
and make their mothers and fathers want to climb
trees by firm foolish questions at em about things
they even heard Of?
It's somepin for the editorial writers to "vew
with alarm" For the we'll bein' of ev'ry c'munity,
Belle, the children should think we'll O. their par
ents; but how. they when the old folks can't
even tell 'em why it is that the esophagus turns
over on its beam ends every time the process O.
The Washington times., 1911-08-25

EAR-Another whole year older today, and the best
of all my birthday gifts that wonderful three
minutes when l heard your voice over the long
distance phone. Oh, Jack, Jack have been hug
ging its memory to my heart since, whispering
the tender greetings and crying out myself, at
his voice-his voice." and, although know
ought to scold you for extravaganza can only
say that it made me happier than any gift of dia-
he to marry.
I want this birthday to be the beginning of
new year in every respect, anyway, for when /
look back across the months and realize that this
The Dickinson press., 1911-10-14
GOOD RANCH r
TON E

! have a. fine ranch proposition near
Townsend. Mont, Z; $50 acres, one-third
agricultural, balance grazing: 3 acres
in orchard; SIS per acre: see apples
Grown on place at my Office. R. c. Hill.
1O-7-2t
The Dickinson press., 1911-10-14
RAINY BUTTE LAND co.
HOLDS ANNUAL Meeting

Secretary Fred Maser went to Mime
apolis, the first Of the week to attend the
annual meeting Of the Rainy Butte
Land: Co.. held at the presidents Office
In the Boston block. 80 -
The Rainy Butte Land CO. wa. organ
fzetds Id: 1901 when nearly. 800; 0oosacrres
81 :agrfeultural lands were purchased in
~esterht North Dakota, 1areeiy in the
Cannon sBnall river country. Asreat deal
81 he. land has: been reatailed Il. quarter
and half section. lots at . coed prof,
over the purchase price. Other: lands
have been bought from time TO time as
the OFFICERS Of the company, saw favor
able opportunity. and 1t will be a good
many years before the lands + all
closed out on account of these additions
and, others that are likely to be made.
1t has been the policy Of the company
to deal literally and honestly with all
customers. Its officers are men of the
highest integrity and have won for the
Rainy Butte Land Co. a most enviable
reputation for fair dealing.
Alderman Fred Maser of Dickinson has
been secretary of the company since
1904. Charles Luhman of Howard Lake,
MIMI. has been president for six years,
maintaining a business Office in the
Boston block at Minneapolis. Theodore
Just of Mankato is treasurer and has
been with the company since it's organi-
cation.
The old officers were all reelected at
the annual meeting this week.
Secretary Maser has sold several tract s
of land the past summer at prices rang
ing from $40 to $2S per acre. Sales
have naturally been a little slow the
past season on account of crop condi-
lions, but this does not bother the Rainy
Butte Land Co. in the least. The Off
GERS realize that crops have been poor
in 1911, not only in North Dakota but
in many sections of the United States
and in. European countries. as we'll.
Therefore, the company is not making
any special effort to secure sales. 1t
is probable that the officers will increase
the holdings of the company between
this time and next spring, for it is GER
tain that there is an increasing demand
for land. while the supply is limited.
Before returning to Dickinson Secre-
tary Maser will attend to some business
matters in Iowa. He also visited his
daughter in school at Red Wing and a
son pursuing studies in St. Paul.
The Dickinson press., 1911-10-14
UNIVERSITY ATTENDANCE
IS LARGE. THIS YEAR

The enrolment at the University. con-
sidering the peculiar business conditions
in many parts of the state and the
lateness of the threshing in practically
all sections, is very satisfactory. When
last footed up, on October s. the total
was 543. Of these 449 are of college
rank and "a are enrolled in the Model
High School. The total enrolment of
college students shows q gain of 20
over the same date last year. The big
increase is in the Freshman class,
which is the largest eve entered. total
ling 1T. They are ~variously distributed
through the various colleges of the Uni
versity, 81 in the College of Liberal
Arts. as in Teachers College. 81 in the
Law School, 80 in the Engineering Col
leges and IS IN the Medical School. The
most marked gain shown by any of the
colleges is their total enrolment In the
Law School where the total has jumped
up to IS as against 50 at the same time
last year. 1t is quite probable that the
University. in common with all of the
other state institutions, will witness
a large enrolment of students who are
Obliged to come in late on account of
threshing being so late.
The Dickinson press., 1911-10-14
MAGAZINE
OCTOBET

The October McClure's opens with
Owen Johnson's new novel of American
college life, "Stover at Yale. Dink
Stover's experiences as an undergradu-:
ate promise to be the most interesting of
any in which he has as yet figured. The
first chapter sets him amid a whirl of
p%erplexing and exciting problems. The
comDative pluck and energy with which
Dink Slower attacks these problems
awakens the readers sympathy from the
start.
In "The %lnsu, auce Agent" Harvey J.
O'Higgius tells the story of another Of
Detective Burns great c~aseslone of most
dangerous and difficult which he ever
undertook.
In. this number of McClure's further
tessori's methods h ': and dD teac hines; which, I9
judging from the letters published, have
aroused widespread interest in this new
educational system.
The Dickinson press., 1911-10-14
The NORTH DAp01A COAL
GOVT REPORT ON OUTPUT

A United States geological survey re-
port, recently published at Washington.
has the following to say of our native
coal: The value of the coal mines of
North Dakota's coal production in 1910
was $595. 139 with a total output of
3e9, 041 short tons.
According to Edward W. Parker,
author of the chapter on coal in the vol
uIne, Mineral Resources of the United
States for 1910. the n exception to
the. general increase in coal production
among the States of the Rocky Mountain
and. Great Plains provinces is noted in
the output of North Dakota. All the
coal produced in this State is Ignite
and does not enter into competition
with the Goals of other states except as
those Goals brought into North Dakota
markets. Ignite does not bear long
transportation nor does it stand long ex-
posure, and the output of North Dakota
is restricted to relatively local markets.
1t is not a high grade fuel and requires
special furnaces with large crate areas
when used for steam making, but will
serve for domestic use when other fuels
are not available or are obtainable only
at a high price. But although Ignite
is not a fuel of high calori6c value it is
we'll adapted for certain purposes and
is used satisfactorily for burning brick
because it is smokeless and sootless and
relatively cheap. 1t is used in consider
able quantities for burning bricks at
Dickinson, Scranton, and Kenmare.
where experience has shown that one ton
of Ignite is equal in efficiency to one
cord of such wood as is available.
Ignite is also an excellent fuel for
generating producer gas, and with the
development of manufacturing indust-
ries in the state the extensive Ignite
deposits of North Dakota will doubtless
receive more attention as az source of
power. One ton of Ignite in the gas
producer will yield as much horsepower
LII AAIICAAlo4 SOAAAOuoIAOII VIA61AICS 40 AS
ton of the best bituminous coal will
yield under boilers.
The production of Ignite in North Da-
kota in 1910 compared with that of
1909 showed a decrease of %, 006 short
tons. or 5.45 per cent, in quantity,
and of $50, OO3, or IT'S per cent. in
value.
According to the reports of the North
Dakota Geological Survey, 81 townships
contain in some part of their area al
least one bed of Ignite 7 feet or more in
thickness. and at least 100 other town
ships contain beds from 4 to 7 feet
thick. The Ignite is generally we'll ex-
posed along such streams as the Mis-
souri,, Knife, Heart, Cannon Ball and
Mouse rivers. The total area underlain
by lignite-bearine beds is estimated to
be IS, 600 square miles.
The Dickinson press., 1911-10-14
Dunn County News

A son was born last Tuesday to CASH
Ter and Mrs. H. N. Owens
Joe Reems is in Minnesota looking
after his farm interests there for about
a month.
C. C. Sperber and Adolph Muny made
proof on their homesteads in the Oak
dale neighborhood.
Mr.. and Mrs. C. A. Ladenberger
have moved in to Manning from their
homestead for the winter.
E. 0. Creger and family left by team
last week to visit Mrs. Creger's parents
in Bottineau county for several weeks
and probably ali winter.
John Prchal o. Dickinson has leased
the interest of D. j. Kelly in the Man
ming blacksmith shop. Mr.. Kelly goes
back to Milwaukee for the winter.
John Ruben, the Oakdale blacksmith,
has abandoned his practice here and
gone to farming on his homestead.
Perhaps he will wish he were pounding
iron before another harvest if financial
enumeration for his labor is any con-
sideration. Oakdale needs and can sup
port a good blacksmith. "@ i
A peculiar coincidence happened
September Goth whereby A. A. Lider-
bach lost 2 pigs, Albert Lauzer q horse,
Geo. Hamilton a milh COW. Frank Kut-
cher half a patch of potatoes, T. G.
Saunders a team of horses, and Grant
and Taylor a fat hog. Please don't ask
why these Easy Marks lost this
property because they don't like to talk
about it but to save publicity delivery
must be made by Nov. list to MIR. and
Mrs. u. G. Edwards. newly married.
Last Wednesday evening considerably
after dark, while Mrs. John w. Stein
was arranging the evening meal for the
home coming of the balance of the fam
lily, she became extremely nervous over
the unusual righteousness of their watch
dog which was evidently trying to keep
some intruder from the premises. The
intruder came to the conclusion that
his emily chance of escape from the
vicious dog which was encouraged by
''sickems" from the inside. was to
make a mad rush for the door and get
on the inside which he did. The crash
of the door frightened Mrs. Stein to des-
peration and she at once began opera
tions with a hot stove poker and to say
she is an expert at the trick would BE
putting it mild. After many well
directed blows she brought her victim
into Inconsistencies and after he was
rendered helpless she made an antimor-
lem examination Of her victim and to
her great horror found ii was one of her
husbands nearest and dearest neighbors,
who anne in peace with no. ill intent
but is tolerably afraid of:dogs. While
Mrs. Stein is nearly Frustrated with
grief. her victim is slowly recovering
and unless complications set in he
will live to realize the necessity of the
pass word before making a mad rush for
a dUOr with q mad dog on one side and
a scared woman on the other.
HeF-LaSE lDr-&a EEta@FE-tHE'r4
The Dickinson press., 1911-10-14
Legal Notices.
SUMMONS
SUMMONS
State of North Dakota. In District Court
County Of Stark. Tenth Judicial Dist.

OMNuONS
State of North Dakota. / In District Court
County of Stark. Tenth Judicial Dist.
Peter sanderso N Plaintiff
Emily McClements, Mrs. j. W.
Bryan. formerly Kate McClem-
ents, Emily Higgins, formerly
Emily McClementS. Mrs. c. +.
Palmer, formerly Elsie McClem-
ents. Hubert McClements.
David McClements. Florence
Higgins. Alice Higgins. the un-
known heirs. executor or admin SUMMONS
istrator of Hugh McClements,
deceased, the unknow heirs,
deViSees. executor or admins
traitor of David McClements.
deceased, and all other persons
unknown claiming any estate
or interest in, or lien or incum-
brance upon the property de-
scribed in the complaint herein.
THE STATE OF NORTH DAKOTA. To the
above named defendants:
You are hereby summoned to answer the
complaint in the above entitled action, and to
serve a copy Of your answer upon the sub
ScriberS at their office in the city of JameS
town. in said state. within thirty days after
the service Of this luminous upon you, exclu-
sive of the day of service; and in case of your
be taken against YOU by default for the relief
demanded in the complaint.
SELLER g. AYLMER.
Attorneys for Plaintiff.
Office and Postoffice Address,
Jamestown, North Dakota.
To the defendants above named:
Notice is hereby given. that the complaint
in the above entitled action will be filed in the
Office of the clerk of the district court. in and
for said county,; that the land referred to and
described in the complaint in this action. and
the land to which this action relates. is as
follows: Lots one. two. seven. eight. nine and
ten q. s. T, 8,9 and 10). of section one %, in
township numbered one hundred and forty
GAO north, of range numbered ninety-twO
the object of this action is to determine
adverse claims. No claim is made against
any of said defendants for personal money
judgments.
Dated May 18th. 1911.
SELLER g. AYLMER.
Attorneys for Plaintiff,
9-l6-6t jamestown. North Dakota.