davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
ANCIENT JOKES.
Some That Aass Amused tho Werld
Fer ThsusArSs ~ Nsars
.Ase eanno, w,.hcr se,ac \

Age came, w,,her some stories,
AND the oldest )eAc On record IS re-
la;~s n one y: the Berlin papyvi Of
the sixth Egyptian dynasty lahou,
$500 Il, @. and Il should no, bs,
overlooked ,ha, IN The DAYS when
The world VAS Young 4 tale enjoveel
centuries Of verbal currency before
II Was inscribed in permanent form.
According to the papyrine, GER
tain scribe who worked for the tenn
Pie Of Thoth occupied apartments
where his neighbors on either side
were coppersmlth and carpenter,
respectively These honest artisans
were exemplary specimens of indus
try. and kept up such row all dav
and most of the night that the poor
scribe was almost driven mad. At
last, by a stroke Of craftiness. he
buttonholed each neighbor scpa
ratclv and bribed them to change
Their lodgings, which they did-with
one another. This tale has kept
the world amused for 5000 years
We often meet with it now-and il
never seems TO have occurred to
anybody to wonder why the scribe
did not change his own lodgings;
bat perhaps his rent was in such
arrears, as sometimes happens to
other literary gentlemen, that it
was cheaper to bride the two work
men
Another perennial that runs the
above hard for first place in point
OF age is that of the man who goes
10 buy some weighty article and
carries it on his shoulder to save
firing the horse he is riding. This
story in the comic papers of today
IS usually tackled on to an unfortu
nate lrishman or old dame from the
country.
Coming to classic times, the mos,
celebrated hardy annual which took
It's rise then now usually appears
in this guise: a man went into
eockshop for dinner. but was kept
waiting SO long while the owner
dished it up that the perfume Of
the meat took his appetite away
1t was long before the invention Of
timed beef, by the bye-and he
purposed 10 leave without buying
anything. The proprietor, how
ever. thought he ought to paw for /
the price Of square meal. and The
question was referred to the village
idiot, who happened along Just
then. lie decrced that as the one
dlsputant had been satisfied with
the smell OF the food the other
should be paid by listening to the
thinking of some coins in a plate
I. P.s London Weekly.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
There is no oyersupply o. aa;-

There is no osersupply o. eai-
/ stock
! Cows differ somewha, in tie
amount OF rolshags they will take.
II costs the COW energy. produced
from feed, TO Craze the pasture grass
II takes Very little bi, OF old
cream to spoil a whole batch Of but.
ter
One OF the strong points in favor 8.
Stage IS its adaptabili,y to heavy
milk aow.
II has been the practice Of some
daiiynen to run their corn slower into
the silo and soak i. with water.
Dairy-bred stock is scarce. and II,
VIII take many wears TO supply TIE
rapidly increasing demand for dairy
bred cattle.
Intil We get perfec, animals We
should search for sire, ,ha, in soue
particular is superior to the COWS in
Our herds.
Few dairy1nen realize the ,remsn.
dous significance OF the cream trade
that has been developed during tie
past Few Years
i makes the dairy business all the
more profitable TO the farmer II When
growing a good milk producing feed
ne can at tie same time improve his
land
We Led TO have . clear idea OF what
breeding does. Of what feeding does.
of What care and e1vironmen, DO. II
We secure and maintain a profitable
dairy herd
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
Antieuitv a. M.sL.

Masks are Of varv ancient origin.
In tomb 5000 YEARS old Of Mg
eenae D. Sellse,laaan found two
bodies with faces covered ly
masks o: gold One Of lille masks
represented the head Of lion.
Among ancient Greeks Tic lion
mask was sign Of distinction
With the Pe-uyiallS Of Old il was a
mark OF royal lineage In a grave
OF considerable antiquity III Peru q
silver mask was found On tie head
OF a mummy. Tic mummy Of a
prince who lived IN the reign Of
RaIneses l.. discovered IN a small
vault al Memphis. il Egypt. had a
mask Of gold leaf over the face.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
chem,cal Effect. Of Lioh,nir,

lightning works chemically. IA
has the power Of developing il %
GUITAR edor which has hcvn various i
compared % that Of phosphorus.
nitrous gas and most frequently
burning sulphur Watsn mentions
. Storm on the isthmus Of Nalisn
whsSh diiFusea such sulphnreuS
stencil through ,hc atmosphere tlutl
he and his maraudns coupanians
could scarcely breathe. particularly
when they plunged INTO the wood
Chambers journal
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
Counting Their Drinks.

In the city of London in the
time of Hing John a special officer
was appointed by the corporation
TO see that every vintner had hang
ing outside his shop an iron vessel
with pegs marking the different
quantities sold. And pegs were used
for cornwall purposes, for the peg
marked the amount of liquor which
each OF the party was to drink, and
the unluchy or greedy wight who
did not drink to pegs was fined i
penny OF sometimes pegs all
round In some parts Of the
country, principally the midlands
and the north, a rough and ready
reckoning Of the number of drinks
INDUCED in during a drinking bout
Is made BY unbuttoning the waist
coat, each button undone represent
ing q drink, the most glorious topers
beng those who can unbutlon and
button UP and so home sober
London Chronicle.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
Mitisa tina Circumstances.

Are you aware of any mitigating
circumstances in your case" asked
q magistrate OF a negro convicted OF
stealing y coat.
Mes. sab. lots of en-. FL | had
time. jedse. ! could talk 10 YOU for
Week on dat subject
II You know Of any nitigating
circumstance. please state H.
Is. sab: III tell you % Que
right now. sab How easy Mould il
have been for NE TO bring my fam.
llv inter disgrace and miscry. san
l jess remained single. | ncl,bcr
married. sab. Anuddcr mitisa,in'
circumstances am
'O;lleer, remove the prisoner
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
The Sporting ccnstabl..

Nell. sald the constable afref
some parleT with Jinks, Il reckon
know speed when see speed, ana
BY gum. III bet We half a dollar vs
was goln 'aster'n the Law allows .
J oet YOU | wasn't, said
''l,Ss Md there's the money"
lie Hal,i the constable the half
ao 1t.,. aiid resumed his journey.
mere L somethin' in this sport
IN us after ALL chuekled the con-
ssai,le as he placed the coin in his
pocks -I.Achange.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
A SAFE Answer.

\ witness had the reputation of
never expressing an opinion on any
subject. No matter who asked lin
or what was ASKED. it seemed i'm
possible for lin 10 give direct
reply. TIE LAWYER tired himself out
trying 10 set the witness 10 give
al opinion Is 10 the moral charac-
ter Of the defendant in the case on
trial and. giving up IN despair. ap-
pealed 10 the court. The Judge re-
garded the witness sternly and in a
severe tone inquired:
Witness. 90 yoa believe that the
defendant IS a good man or a bad
man. Answer me straight
'.Jedge. said The old man car
nestls. sometimes think he is an
sometimes ! think lie amt. but I've
never been able 10 make up NV
mind on it.-Ciiicaso Record Her
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
Wholly Innocent.

The story is told BY 4 travclias
man Of pretty Young lads who
stepped into q music store II Ger
tain town The other day She trip
ped up to the counter where 4 Rev
clerk was asserting music and in tile
sweetest tones asked. Have vau
Kissed Ne In the Moonlisel. Z :"
The clerk turned halfway around
and answered. at must have heea
the man at the other counter. I've
been here only week. Buffalo
Commercial.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
The Worm IN ths Chestnut.

a Physician explains how the
worm gets into the chestnut. When
the nut is still green an insect
comes along and, hunting a warm
place IN which to have its eggs
Matched, ligats upon the green
chestnut and stlngs it. At the same
.,me II deposits some Of its eggs in
the opening thus made. The chest
nut begins TO rlpcn, and at the same
.lme the eggs are Matching. The
insect selects chestnuts as a place
LOT oeposlting its eggs as being the
pest adapted place BY instinct. The
noufy matter in the nut turns to
sugar, and sugar contains carbon.
which produces heat.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05

Don't sell eggs which have been 1,
an incubator.
Don. sci! esss which srr found il
stolen nest
Provide plenty OF clean. dry nests
for your hens
Never feed alea; scrap tina, were
made Of rotten meat
Keef the eess cut OF the sun when
taking them 10 town
SHnaower seed makes an excel.ea,
feed for melting Aers.
Marse; your esss daily Il possible;
II not. every ether aay.
Don't keep eggs near oil. onions
etc. they absorb odors-
Keep YOU. eggs IN cool. dry place
which IS free from doors
DO not wash esss Use the dirty
and small eggs 81 home
No one should Kill and dress poultry
for market until II 10 properly .a,
tened
Gather the egss daily in cool wealth
er and twice 3 day in hot or rainy
weather
Chickens and adul, fowls often
sicsen merely from bad odors and
poisoned air.
The farmer finds tha, well-.ed hens
make better layers than those tha,
are hal. starved
II you buy homer tia. has large
warts on is heak you may be sure
that Il is more than years old
The best place IN the world for tie
poultry ward is the orchard-sny kind
OF an orchard where insects abound
II the hens were compelled 10 work
a little harder these days for ahat
grain they get II would be good J
thing for them
Those who are planning for white.
eggs from poultry kept on town OF (
city lot should not forge, tina, they (
need plenty of green food
The poultry raiser who is too lay
10 keep his poultry house absolutely /
rec from yerinin does 10, deserve
success nor will he have IL
AS the new corn gets dry and hard
{ is safe TO feed more than when il
vas soft and green II is more easily
'igested and gives better results
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
CLEVER wooDpEckERs.
Methsss Of rh... WIS. s.rs. !, :.
curing . Supply 81 Fs,s

Many birds show vs-v SRA. :n.s,.
hseacs. but The w.~ae2 !: ~
NoodpecAs- IS csr.s.a.y we, wo-.s,
earesu, ssGi.y- sonse s-~aas ..-s .:
tie opinion TIA. reason Is 10 ..a-s
than Keen .as.iaS.. 81. there i !,
difference Wien We CONG Is s..S.y
Some q the habits {: : :sw !: ,bs
more ia.e,lisea: bids.
The voosvyeso-s III. .nhs,g,
some 9. lie vs>s1 we.sN;sl as
trse,s. and especially n ses..a,1s .:
California, saov ro-l.a-r! -ss-
soa.aS soTe- Iaev aa.aa..r .,sa
fos months ahead - via. rtsy
CONSIDER vs-s les.a mo-sal q:
:oa Tier s-oT.se certain :ood
io- : season sen -1a. Da-.c..,.r
KIND : ye-y s4-ae. --5 .acv make
Tie wo-S q securing j. qails easy
soo.
Vile asorns are falling in the
su.-a months lie vooss, -pacsers
e1o 81 ova- IL trunks :: s-esS
s1a PEEK h-as-s6s d: small hoes il
tie sol5- They -ry aco-ns 10
these oav.-.es a Il sorle manner
pound .. PISA .asm MO tie holes
the! hare ns 4 i. roi-s. Of
he acorn n lie s9.e. ge4v.n- ex-
posed he larger ne aeoA
3fl1---.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
MAcDALEH ISLANDS.
Five Months Year They Are Isolated
by Wild, Raoino Sea-.

~ WI0 Na9Iu9 Se1N
Out n the center of the gulf 0
st. Lawrence, wharc the oeea
waves dash vger them for lis
months Of the year so ticrcely as /,
close al communication with lh'
mainland except by cable. lie ill'
.laedalen islands. Nine on. Of ey
Dry ten Canadians have neyer ever
hoard Of them, and the other ont
remembers dlnly that be encoUn.
tered the namc at school in the Isl
Of the Canadian Islands. Nine ont
Of ten III the islanders themselves
have never been farther from their
birthplace than tie trips 10 tie fish
Ing grounds. ana The tenth has
gone no farther than Pieion or on
a long e la remembered trip as far
as Hal aN Quebec.
Seyen' miles 10 the southwes.
lies Prnee Edward Island Cape
Breton is tiie same distance south
east New 'ounaland's rough coast
Iah,ss -ll,.,, a l,,,,3-al ,,,;i- So.
Troa, aa - ~ aor.b Il, III
waves crash down unopposed from
tie farhiaaing shores OF Labrador.
300 mites distant.
ns.ring III, go ,,o,+bs :, -,
wear. ana then only twice a week.
is there any opportunity for tba
islan'iFr - 600 n, a,,.s;,, 8. II
Ear ILL., ro,,a;,lo- ~, 80
with . corsis.an- uiilna - -
onlv 4 ~ re-;an ga ~ i',,
drs,l riles ~ 49, - -. ~,
show .l,a wroeps ,l,at 49, ,,.- 49,.
vii, fa,l,,ro ~ n,',', - a.,..a -
man ~ con,bs. ,lo ola,'.,n. =
- ,bo miss, ~ al tl;s 4a.,..,
of nat,,-o rgo 600 I,ra,,a,, 80
ans and ! ooo F,rl;sb - =, : 49, 49,.
ness md a,,ie-nass - - - -.
trnlv remarkable an1 800
voor ~ ,,a.,,Is+;on ;narao.o =. ~. :,
even non IL land i ayarora, ,,is,l
with d nao,,lo ra,,,o,o,+ ~ 80. ~. ~,
,lenanas y =. ,,ra 49,, - .4e
H. v;,l.- varl5 ~ 4u'o
There are thirteen ;sla,as = an
.ine AZ which aro ao,nao.a1 :. -
-iaa ~ ! -raael,ora,,s laash .. -, ion
! i nassi},a 10 .lr;ra 80. ,,';.l. ~ "a
80 VIA we
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
Cut Seed Corn.

Don't forget TO cut all corn intended
for seed purposes jus, as soon as the
ears are well dented The stalk may
seem ,rile green. but to- seed viii
MI out and cure properly in the shoek
Corn cut in this way will have better
color better luster and better vitality
than when left on the standing stals
TO mature A killing fros, should no,
Strike the corn before i, is in Tie
shock
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
harNly . Complainant.

som, OF yauS speeches. sall NJ
cynical friend "tnaLr me tA,nh Il.
= mathematical marvel ous,
knew.
I'm what way Y"
"lle would dispose ollhanl II ANY
problem yo" save ham nobody in
the crowd was able ~ aav whether
no sot Tho r,sht anawer. and i.
really didn't aeem 10 make much
difference anyhow ! Washington
Star Z
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
Made 4. Longer.

TIE lnlge frowned.
ou are sentenced to forty
'afce Nea7s at hard labor in the
state pcnltentiarv," he said.
lat Henry James SEN
'enee, The intelligent criminal
monrnfullv remarked.
Md The judge, who was familiar
with the length Of the eminent nov
elist ; sentences, added seven years
more r Tor good measure. Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
CASTING Of Metals.

As is well known, some metals
are unsuitable for casting, while
others. like iron. can readily be
cast IN any desired shape. The
property of casting well is said TO
depend upon whether the metal
contracts or expands ON solidifying
from the liquid form. Iron. like
water, expands in solidifying. and
hence the solid metal may be seen
floating in the liquid iron about it,
The expansion causes it to fill the
mold into which it is poured. and
so it can be cast easily. Gold and
silver contract in cooling and there
fore are not suitable for casting
Harpr's ,Weekly..
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
Garden Needs Care.

u dry season garden always
heees extra care. Leaves will turn.
yellow and fall and the flowers win
soon wieher and present an uns,gh.,y
appearance Go over the grounds a,
ieas' every other day and take I'D
Whatever has fallen and remove faded
blossoms Nea1ness should be the a.
der Of the day throughout the en.ire
season. e'''i'
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
Fair warnin..

Mr. llarnuit ! admit. sir. ,ha,
my llte has nNt been What ii shaa,.l
he. hal truly anil unselii$l,lN ia,e'
Naar danahtrr, and Il evsr slNr
'ser moments pam ! hope IN -
made TO suffer torture far IT
old Gentleman lwarmnglNN o..
You Will You don't know her.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
Earnina Hi. stee,.

\ little city girl was visiting
friend IN the suburbs and was much
lmprossssl hy the morning rush OF
train.
Why docs your papa 60 to town
every day" she at last inquired.
sos 70 make enough money to
sleep ont here at night" was the
T Y shrewd reply.-Chicago
Record Herald
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
SNUG Hoo Houses.

Snug hog quarters can be made o.
building a leanto to a stable, masins
board roof and sides and covering
with tarred paper. Neponse, paper o.
similar material.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
Corn ssIaqe Economical,

Corn silase is much more scono
ical than root crops owing to the san,
.ha' IT requires less expense TO grow
.he crop. 70 harvest +. and that 1t may
DO kept and fed the year around
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05
The First Bank Not..

inefe i an extremely curious en-
IlaF,i2s II he British museum. 1t
+ q hall note issued in China dnre
~, IS 'le reign of the Emperor Hung
Y y, i've centuries and half 400
$ TIE oldest known specimen Of
money. since it prceedes Inv
ears the first notes issaed hy
mean bank. t'int Of Stock.
his ir.c-es'.sss k.nen
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05

Can on Charles b. Carley, county
Judge, Tor final proofs and filings Is
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1911-10-05

Administrator.
publication on the 18th day Of April.
The Washington times., 1911-07-11
Everybody's Question Box-Answers to Queries

foulard silk for church wear, which may
have a dainty tucked batiste or lace
guimpe, a number or shirt waists, to
wear with the suit skirt, for shopping
and general outdoor wear, a dark and
a light silk shirt waist. also TO be worn
with the suit. for matiness, concerts,
and more informal dinners, one or two
light dresses. for evening entertain
ments and dances. Then the girl should
be supplied with a bathroom gown and
slippers, pair of low ties, a pair of
light slippers, some stout shoes, prefer
ably tan, for walking. rubbers and over
CATERS. She should be we'll supplied
with underwear both for moderate and
extremely cold weather. a long coat,
and an evening coat, together with
sweater. She should have a gymnasium
suit. also. Two hats, one for every
day and one for church and matinee
wear. should be sufficient. Gloves,
handkerchiefs, and plenty of plain but
well chosen neckwear should complete
her wardrobe. Toward spring II should
be replenIshed by the addition of sew
eral gingham dresses, and a white
gown for class days and commencement
day.
The Washington times., 1911-07-11

He did not wait to remove his
clothes, he threw his hat on the bank
and plunged into the pond. Walter
could swim, and as 1t was not far
from the shore. he soon had the bag
and lifted II out Of the water.
AS he lifted 1t a little white kitten
broke through the wet end and fell
into the pond. Walter caught 1t and
took 1t to the bank. He dried II as
well as he could with his hands, and
then put II in his hat.
The kitten was weak from being in
the bag and fighting for its life, but II
msowed in a faint voice, as though to
express thanks to It's rescuer.
The sun was warm, and Walter =
clothes were soon dry. and 80 was the
kittens fur.
When Walter came to a house where
he knew the people they gave him a
saucer of milk, which seemed to be all
that the kitten needed to restore it TO
good health.
Il do not see how anybody could be
so cruel" Walter told his grandmother,
as he showed her the kitten. IT am
going to call her Pond Lily, because she
Is so white and I found her in a pond "
Pond Lily grew to be a large cat, and
was very fond Of Walter. She fol-
lowed him about like a log, and he
taught her to jump over a stick and
many other tricks.
When It was time for Walter to get
up in the morning she would 90 to his
door and scratch and meow. II the
door was open she would go to his
bed and put her front paws on the
edge and purr; II this did not awaken
The Washington times., 1911-07-11
Fortunate Is She Who
Can Get Old Linen

Fortunate, indeed, is the girl who
can manage to get one or more of
the old-fashioned hand-woven linen
sheets 10 use in furnishing her
room. They make most beautiful bed
spreads and portieres. But the only
way she is likely to get them is If her
the mthe next thing to do is to have
them and to be willing to give her one
or two. If she does succeed in getting
them hte next thing to do is to have
them embroidered. She will probab bly,
not be able to do this work herself, for
such valuable things as these old sheets
ought to have very handsome embroid-
cry. Only the girl who can spend money
quite freely in decorating her room
should try to use them.
For a bedspread a border design
should be chosen of flowers to match
the color scheme of the room. Have
the border go all around the spread,
and the same flowers may be used in a
group in the center unless the border
Is wide enough and elaborate enough
to make anything in the center seem
superfuous.
In using a sheet for portiere the
best effect is gained by having the en-
broidery entirely in horizontal lines eN-
{ er,t a possible narrow border on the
sides. There may be either one very
broad band of II at the bottom. some Of
the flowers running we'll up on the cur
tain, or one may have the border at
tie bottom somewhat narrower with
second band higher up.
The Washington times., 1911-07-11
CHAPTER VIII (Continued).

7 TURNED to McGregor, who was re-
garding Nne intently. l knew the
II man was honest and true as steel to
his master; therefore, / did not
hesitate. l explained as much as was
necessary concerning Morgan's pres
Ience in BresCia; told him of what had
occurred the night before.
He looked serious enough when had
finished.
'In anv case. then. Mr. Morgan is In
great danger. l can understand that.
SIR" said he simDly.
1T would seem SC. and we must do
something, I answered
And the first thing is to warn him, -
he suggested.
Il will ride back to the villa at once"
said I.
You will certainly be followed. sir
They are watching every one"
! knew he was right; a stranger could
scarcely start out on horseback without
being followed. The thing must be done
secretly.
L think" said !, we can dc nothing
before nightfall. and trust 10 luck that
Mr.. Morgan will decide to remain at the
VILLA until tomorrow. AS soon as it is
dark will leave the city secretly"
His reply was interrupted. There was
Ihe sound of heavy footsteps without,
and the knob of the door turned gently.
! The little Scotchman and l looked at
one another Jie made rapid gesture;
1t was toward the space underneath the
bed.
My feet disappeared at the moment
when a heavy knock rang from tho
panel l heard McGregor cross the
room; the next moment he had opened
the door,