New-York tribune., 1911-03-18
TROUB BILE

All kinds o. trouble.
You can pick and choose.
If YOU want "A cause TO KICK
There's more than you can use.
You can hear the war cry
ANY time YOU please.
Sometimes It's i'll Spanish,
And sometimes In japanese.
All kinds o. trouble.
Anything you like,
The trusts are out for plunder,
There are rumors Of a strike.
And vet we're takin' notice,
without meanin' for to boast.
The things tnat never happen
Are the things that fret US most.
Washington star.
In recent ISSUE The Mystic Light"
quotes the following from THE New World"
Of Chicago. in an article against Free
masonry: let no one suppose that the
thirty-three inferior degrees include all of
Freemasonry, or that the dogmas taught
| to the brethren therein give anything more
than a vague hint of the essential wicked
ness Of the craft" The "black de-
grees" arc. according to "The New World:
There is no God; there is no moral law;
! the Christian religion is superstition, the
Supreme Being. whom we love and wor-
ship. is Lucfer; the only god that rules
this world Is our master. Lucifer; Chris
tanlty has slandcred and prosecuted our
master, whom It calls the devil "
! You should havo learned TO cook before
we were married.
II don't see why. You are younger and
stronger IN every way than papa is.'-
Houston Post
Writing from Vienna n Now Yorker says:
The Apache has appeared In this city.
Not the one from Arizona whom we know
by the name OF Lo,' but the rowdy whose
| habitat IS Paris. man who would not
nay for what he drank In a beer place
was followed by the waiter whom he had
swindled. After running a short distance
he pulled revolver from his pocket in
American style and shot and hit his man,
saws q morning paper, which regrets that
This character new to Vienna and believed
10 be impossible in It's jolly and peaceful
atmosphere. should have made his appear
ance He must not stay. for We have no
rlace for the man who carries revolver.
We'll. Sambo." said Dawson TO the Pull
nan porter, what are you fellows going
70 do when the federal government for
bids YOU to use whiskbrooms on these
cars?"
"why. boss. I reckon. VEL 50 right on
usin' EN- less de same said Sambo.
But You'll be arrested said Dawson.
''Yessuh. I reckon will-but dat won't
he de fust time 1se been rested FOR
&c rrin' concealed weapons. sun. -itar-
per's Weekly.
Some strange liberties are taken with
Shakespeare on the Japanese stage. The
Kobe Herald" recently described per-
formance In that town of Hamlet" with
the scene laid in modern Japan. The
Prince" says THE Herald appears first
in n silk hat and "A swallowtail coat. then on
n bicycle. clad In bright blue cycling suit
and striped stockings and then in evening
dress again, with 4 flower in his button
hole This up-to-date collegian has little
more resemblance to the Hamlet whom
Shakespeare conceived than Jew OF the
modern Johannesburg type would bear to
the Shylock Of ancient Venice" Ophelia.
for tho purpose OF the play. Is transformed
into n ow-student Of Hamlet at the In
perial University OF Toxic
Exasperated Learner Ito caddlel-Why
ere you dragging that lump OF turf all over
The Caddie-I thocht that after a the
trouble We had diggin' II up We rnicht ike
tae TAX IT hame tae practice on.-It-Bits'
Tho teIepbone stand in the Grand Cen
t,aI terminal is a busy place at all times.
but II was unusually so yesterday morn
ing. when n tall stout poorly clad man.
with a Grand Amy button on his coat
and wearing black eyeglasses. walked un'
steadily 10 the desk and asked 10 I've con-
nectcd with some ono In StoninSton,
CCnn, whose number he could not find
because he was blind. While the name
was being locked up and connection es-
tablshed, he told the man who stood near
him that an old comradc had been killed
by a trolley car and lie was trying To save
The body from the Potters Field. The
man volunteered 10 deliver the message
when StoninCton answered. and the crowd
heard him say: THE old man wants TO
FFye his comrads from a psupers grave.
can YOU help him7" Then they heard.