The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-11-18

A mathematical expert had figured it out to amount below his arithmetcal concocon printed the amounts which accident insurance companies sullenly paid when anything fatal happened to the legs and eyes of their patrons
 Monday with it's usual f,ackness The city editors were desperate "Give lem dope, then" said who invented the phrase "Accuracy-aecuracy-accu racy. The fellow wants the ear to graft onto some body, don't he? Fake interview with him then in which he admits it. Then say he was encouraged to do this because of Dr. What'shisnames experiments on dog. You remember the time he grafted guinea pigs tail onto dog. No. Guinea pigs haven't got tails have they? We'll get the straight of that oper ation Use this Bolts fellow for lead and then swing in and tell that The people don't care what they get just so you give lem something"
 This was done It had the desired effect. It locsened MT. Pud Pabsts tightly closed fist and the
 Balloon Number One!" he announced. "reH me not in mournfu numbers all tie suckers are alive. Nov we'll shoot lem little prospectus that will make pitate with April emotions" r
 It appeared neatly typewritten sheets handed to reporter who called at the bots office that day bell boy in wealthy brass buttons and wealthier brass conversation handed out the statements. Dr.. Bots was not in town but the statement enough.
 Briefly, it deposed that Dr. Bolts was about to per form the very difficult operation of grafting right ear onto poor, unfortunate Pittsburg millionaire who, having had to roll steel in his earlier days and having thereby come into Accident which had deprived him of his ear, and now having reached a at society functions where real ladies press ent uncomfortaby conscious upon such occasions of his unsghtly physical defect He had tried grow ing his hair long and rather poetcaly the spot, but unfortunately, hardly had he hit this scheme before he began to show signs of becoming ndubably and completely bald The only other alternative had been the employment of pink cellulod ear; but again unfortunately the millionaire, being by this time rather old and shaken in his system had been frequently annoyed to find this apparatus becoming detached whenever he jerked his head-which he was always doing-or whenever he scratched his head on the right side Also the pink be to change color, and from nice ripe dentifrice hue it became rather yariegated and shocking. Therefore, he had deter mined upon having real live And being man of wealth. he intended to have the soundes healthest he could get for his money. whether it
 fitted in with the general contour of his head or not and whether it resembed its left brother the color of his face not. Jge t$
 Such the statement It may not at first appear ance seem to be good piece of newspaper writing, but 1t was cunnngly contrived by Mr. Pabst in the knowledge that city editors woul5 find much food in it. The name of the millionaire was, for obvious reasons, being withheld by Dr. Bolts. This had the following result that every enterprising newspaper in the city unearthed the photog ahs of ten or twelve Pittsburg milnonaires who had made their way up from the rolling mils that these photographs were strung across the page, each one having right ear carefully painted out by the office photographers that the query printed above the string of pictures =
 WHICH ONE IS THE MILLIONAIRE?
 All over the country people b>gan talking of the marvellous operation. Medical men of all sorts and degrees oe intellect clipped out item and pasted in scrapbook or sent it to other medical men for fear they had not it. The story of Cleo de Merode and the question to whether she wore her hair down over her ears because there weren't any ears whereas there plenty of hair, was revived