davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1911-05-18
ECZEMA CURE A BEAUTY
WASH

Although n. u. ID. Prescription has
been recognized for wears ~ the one
remedy tor Eczema. Psoriasis. and an
Other forms OF skin diseases, Il Ia now
known that there Is no other wash.
even those used by the bea ity spc-
cialists. that can compare with this
mild LIQUID Tor cleansing the skin VI
pimplos. blackheads, rash. and all
similar skin affections.
For this reason alone. u bottle VI
d. u. -. should be kept on hand IN
every household a trial use bottle
VIII show YOU the merits of this great
remedy as a complexion wash.
Il. -. ID. seems 20 remove the 'ause.
whatever the trouble may BE-, cleans
ing the skin. and leaylns II as soft AZ
smooth and clear az that of q healthy
child.
Get a Csc bottle today and keep u
In the house.
J. II. O'RIELLY 60.
The Washington times., 1911-07-17

Pop calm hoam with a sprayned rist
last mite.
The sity ithorities will han to suff1r
for this" he sed very loud TO ma Its
to bad II a tackspayer cant wawk along
the street without favIlins In holes that
he pays good muny to keap IN repare-
Thares graft going ON IN this sity moar
than enyboddy has eny idea OF, he SEQ.
but they cant sprayn my rist without
paying for 1t"
Ware did 1t happin?' sed ma feal-
ing the bandidge wich was GROUND pops
rist.
Pop Soar
Watts the diffrence ware II happined.
as lawng as It happined, sed pop. Ano
for heyfns sakes, womin, keap yure
hands awf OF II. A sprayned r1st Is no
ioak, no mattir ware it happined- 1
mite of new you'd ask a millyun kwest-
shuns about II to make II VERSE; he SEQ
Well, 1 don't see how yure going 10
500 the sity II you don't no ware IL
happined, sed ma
Lissen to that, lissen to that, SEQ
pop. Who evtr herd enything so per-
noetsris7 I no ware II happined. Ser
tenly I no ware Il happened. You may
be trying to drive me krazy, Mrs
Tawker, he said. but I'm still In piz-
zeshun Of my fackilteez enyhow.
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
THE STAGE DOORKEEPER

st Louis IS sure hanging the bee
on New York" said the stage-struck
youth as he touched The green paint
to see IL It was really wet.
what talk have you, boy, what talk
have your growled the stage door
keeper as he unfoided~1he paper to the
box ecore-
Didn't you notice that a manager
out there Is producing Mrs. warren's s
Profession and the show was only al
lowed to run one night In the big
town." sa1d the S. S. 2.
Let EN- Have-It
q Well" snorted the s. D. K, 'ff they
want It, let 'em have It They're there
and we're here, so guess they're bet
ter able to judge what they want than
we do. This guy, George Bernard
Shaw. is a high brow, all right and for
q long time he wrote plays that had
the suggestive stuff covered with a
nice white icing Of words, and the
audience didn't know whether to be
shocked or not. But IT does begin to
look as though they got on to him.
Take 1t from me, kid when they tie
the tomato tin or anything in New
York for moral reasons you can bet
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
ACCORDING TO SAMMY

Wat kind Of a hole was It, sed ma
Wat kind OF q hole, sed pop. That's
sensibil kwestshun. Wy q holey
hole, Of korse A fshure in the ertb,
an indenterashun In the grownd
That's the kind of hole II was, he
sed Next kwestshun, pleeze. Wood
you like me to fawll for you to show
you how II was dun.
My, sed ma. I'm glad you don't
sprayn yure rist every day. 1t mite
make yure disperishun so sweet &c
mite not keep in hot weather. Do
you want to heer sumthing interest
ing I red in the spawrting extra to-
mite.
Don't Kare
I don't kare, sed pop.
Awl rite, sed ma, Hssen to this. rta
kalled rist sprayned in a unusual aclzsi-
dint. A prominint holesale hardware
man. ma red frum the papir, was ! Of
the gests at a speshial profeshinil natl
nay gave by the Pink Karnashun Kum-
piny. AftiT the preformince there was
kwite a soshibil time on the stage. The
hardware man held up a high hat for
of the toe dansers to kick and she n,tsS-
ed the hat and kicked his rist tnstSd.
sprayning It bad.
Well wat about Il, sed pop.
o, nuthing, sed ma
The Washington times., 1911-07-17

that it's several miles beyond the
limit.
Course, you might say that I'm
talking through my helmet hat. cause
the New Workers are fallin' for
That's and undressed musical shows
and bareback dancers, but there's a
difference.
IF one OF the danes in the undressed
drama was to announce that her past
had been decidedly shady, and that the
sun hadn't come around up to the pres
ent why the cops would get her. She
may look the part all right, but as long
as the talk don't give her away she
gets by.
Talk Counts
TITS the talk that counts. The old
adage Of 'seein's believin' is played out.
You can see anything on the stage and
make yourself believe that it's moral,
all right, but If you hear it-why, that's
proof positive that it's off color"
BY the way" said the S. S. Y, you
don't happen to know who's playin' the
leadin' role in that st. Louis produo-
ton, do your"
Il do not" said the s. D. K. but I
think the Gin with the WhoopIn' Cough
would be a good understudy."
The Washington times., 1911-07-17

smokes" comes back the boss, than I
can make the next person that comes
in here after pickles buy cheese m
stead" The school teacher said It was
g shame to take the cigars, and the bet
was on
Say, maybe the boss hasn't got the
luck market cornered. Who should
wander in about fifteen minutes later
but little Miss Flitt, a little old maid.
who just eats 'em alive. Pickles, I'm
referring to. We'll, well, Miss Fiist.s
says the boss after she'd ordered han
dozen dill, I'VE were just talking
about PICKLES, and how they eat away
the lining of the stomach, and how
cheese IL about the only thing that,il
build you up again"
Did Miss Flitt take back her order
and cart away two pounds Of the ba.t
store cheese? She did.
The Washington times., 1911-07-17

Iest In the first place, but before I
saIlow you to depart 1t is my duty to
sask you to remove your shoes. Only
rIast week a stout lady got past US
with a baby grand piano in her left
.shoe."
Sir, you are fmpertinent," replied
Sthe fair creature, flushing under her
ssunburn and the gaze of the other
passengers.
Nevertheless" he continued. you
must remove your shoes, discard your
boots, shake your Trilbies."
And what II I refuse7"
Europe"
And so, rather than show the hole
I'm her stocking. she went back to
Europe.
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
sKH HOLDS IT UP TO THE
SLOVENLY GIRL

she puts another coat of powder on to
ing to the man who has learned that a
girl practises this short route to an
APPEARANCE of cleanliness. And It
takes a lot of time to get ones hair
well-brushed So the SLOVEN does 1t
about semiweekly. Can the trailing
grace Of a loosened lock appeal. when q
man knows that 1t has not been
brushed to order and cleanness. but
Just bangles because its possessor is
too siovenly to give It proper atten-
ton?
Men, no matter how careless they
seem about themselves, are 80 squeam-
ish about the daintiness of a woman
as most girls are about cream. You
know how sick 1t makes you just to
get a Whit Of soured creaml That's
exactly how SLOVENLINESS in q girl
affects a man.
Yards of Frill
And the sLovEN falls down on the
laces of her own lingerie. She loves
yards of frill. And she lacks totally
the perception that a soiled PLAIN
petticoat is bad enough but a soiled
FRILLY ONE is crime.
You glory in going about the house
looking like an animated rag-picker's
collection before the cleansing process
of the papermakers is applied. You
wear a kimono that is a disgrace! Old
party slippers flap on and off your
feet! Yet you look surprisingly we'll
when you are dressed and out on the
street That is why you are q men
ace. A man cannot detect your
shortcomings. AhI but he wf1l-in
the sometime that ought to be your
good time, when you and he are
married. Why do you not practice
being what he THINKS YOU AREA
REAL LADY, NOT A SLOVEN?
The Washington times., 1911-07-17

x1OU leave your hair in the comb!
v It's a sure sign. If l were a man
and contemplating taking you for
better or worse, 1 should have my sis
ter or some kindly woman-friend find
out If WORSE INCLUDED THAT
PARTICULAR OFFENSE.
1t is easy enough to detect you. The
first time you are an overnight guest
in a place you are apt to be on your
good behavior. But, as you become
more intimate, you shed the small deli
cacies that alone make close associa-
ton endurable. About the third or
fourth visit will bring you 10 the test.
And you will be guilty Of your act that
is the absolute brand Of the SLOVEN.
Caught and Harnessed
Do you know that often have cause
to think about girlsr It is that in the
days Of courting, in the time before
they have won life partner, they are
living a dainty, delightful lie. And,
when the man is caught and harnessed,
they begin to be painfully truthful.
And this conclusion is not founded upon
my own observation alone. It is based
matrimonial troubles have been of the
small fruit" variety and have grown
with the same luxuriance that charac-
terizes these crops.
You need not be fortifying yourself
behind the notion that two men who
wM confide in another woman about
the faults Of their wives are cravens
These men are my own relatives. I
know their mothers. tender, gracious,
well-bred, dainty women. 1 know with
what pain both of them are putting
I'D" with these small fruit exaspera-
tions, because they both honestly be-
lieve in the solemnity and sacredness
of the marriage vow. But they are not
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
Loretta's Looking Glass

happy. And the SLOVENLY wives are
not happy. For. queerly enough, SLOW
ems almost invariably have warm
hearts and crave the expression Of af-
lection which their own physical care
lessnesses repel. And these two girls
are wondering WHY THEIR HUS-
BANDS DO NOT LOVE THEM AS
THEY DID?
1t Is so much easier for a man to be
well-groomed than woman that he
does not make allowances. The
SLOVEN hates to wash her face, SO
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
Picked From the
Scrap-Book of Wit
IN THE SAME BOAT

The new cook, who had come info the
household during the holidays, asked
her mistress:
Where ban your son? not seeing
him round no more"
My sony" replied the mistress, pride
fully. "Oh, he has gone back to Yale.
He could only get away long enough
to stay until New Years day, you see.
1 miss him dreadfully, though"
Vas I know yoost how you feel.
Ny broder, he ban In yail sax time
since Tankgiving"
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
An Unfair Advantage

Clara--You say Fred has been cruelty
deceived by. the young widow. DID she
lead. him on to believe that she loved
him, then throw him over?
Maude-Mercy, no! She led him to be-
lieve that she didn't care a rap for him,
then, when he carelessly proposed, ac-
cepted him on the spot.
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
Our Grocery Clerk
Says, Three Cigars

You think you have all sorts of In
fuence over your customers. don't
you?" says the school teacher this
morning. He was a little sore about
something.
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
Two Little Shoes;
Or, Keep Them On

= The inexorable government inspec-
.Heisseluft.
: My three hours search has so far
proved unsuccessful" he admitted.
AZ had an idea you were rather hon
The Washington times., 1911-07-17

wage the
high living within the and the deterioration of moral and
physical standards.
OF he be there much food for
thought the idea that we'll worth considering don't think
sol
grumble the in time and money of committing,
declare be where there Is something going
And never consideration pay health in
children
venient houses "in town"
Leads Often To-CSime
Neuraheni the wild lust of grabbing that leads
often crime the seeking for
and all the shadows that lie modern life in the and
think of them, do we? We only the
glitter and the gaety until children have fallen victims,
and then it late.
the doors finds rest
quiet of morning
with full of fresh but the city goes
ushe perhaps into other Clothes and
the cramping wanders place
where he spends week three times much he would
spend on that much discussed commuters ticket"
The frets and strives emulate richer
takes daily toll of health and
realizes It
For the lure Is always there and has learned
listen for the cali of of doors will there change
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
He Couldn't Endure II

What's the matter, little boy? 1t
sounds as though some one was being
killed in your house,
Oh that's only pa" replied the small
boy. Hes got cold and ma Is trying
to put a mustard plaster On him."
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
Brighten Dull
Moments With These
\ RAILROAD MAP

Mrs Bibbs Gas the train gives q
lurcheMy goodness! Are We on the
trackf
Mr Bibbs-No, we seem to be running
all right. CHESS we went round the
curve. We must be at Chicago
But Chicago was a thousand miles
of when we started, and we've only
been an hour"
Can't help It. looked at the map
Of this railroad, and there amt a curve
in 1t till It gets to Chicago. Hunt up
y'r things"
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
II Would Be Hard

Young Mrs Dillham-Arthur, won't
1t be grand when women vote? You
and I can go to the polls together.
Mr. Dillham-But what II the cleo
tion happens to fall on bargain day,
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
ENGLISH Joke FOR TODAY

'Tis said that Miss Adele Ritchie.
the beautiful American actress, brought
no less than sixty trunks with her from
New York We should have thought a
single pair-about twenty-five inches In
the waist-had been ample-The Pink
I'm
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
He Knew

Teacher-Now, Jacob, tell me what q
philosopher Is?
Jacob - Shucks, teacher, it's one I'D
dem guys wot rides a "philosopede."
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
The Usual Place

Mrs. A.-where did you 60 for your
new hatT'
Mrs B. Through my husbands
pockets.
The Washington times., 1911-07-17

PSeyd at him over some little other told him didn't know
says Bill you can et the ghon: any time up 10
Mamie Decides To Go ...---=--sa
At exae1y five minutes to Befe admitted myself hayiR
all along blame dis
made grab for the cever and let Bills number fly
a the girl if | a quarterback rattin' off signals
hadn't hardly when the girl repeated
if knew did,
Belle made towards tryn help
along ways telephone girls deep
what that NUMBER she after I'd been R with
mouhpiece and pois nickel the slot
minutes
says after wastn four vable seconds
whether should somepn rude her
She let another minute think in and then she
as 2oOO you want?"
"It is" says Have you got 1t for mef"
wait minute
of good lady" give that
ony and then Bl1ve ony
know you've had the number all along but
promise think we'll of you if give right now
would mind repeain' that
then the clock struck 8.
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
Needed the Change

Doctor Curem-I see you have ordered
quite a number of your patients to the
country. They needed change, 1 pre-
sumo.
Doctor Bigfee-Awfully. Hadn't a
cent left.
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
Saved Labor

Ma Farmhoam-My, Seth, but amt
that last couple that came lovely young
people?
Pa Farmhoam-Land sakes, yes; they
hardly eat anythin'.
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
THE LURE OF THE CITY
And Its Accompanying
Savings and Expenditures
BY PEGGY VAN BRAAM

He lure of the city, spreading its promises of for
and success, and the hustle and throb of living
in the heart of the universe has long drawn into the
meshes of its crooked streets the young and old
from little towns, the lands far across the
In fiction and fact alike we have acknowl-
edged the lure and sighed it, but nova noted
doctor declares that thousands of families
yearly going without proper amount of food,
without proper recreations and clothes for the
sake of clnging to their dark and narrow rooms
within the congested districts of the city.
High rents are, he says, outcome Of de-
oo,df Orcifyr ooIf of fha
The Washington times., 1911-07-17
M A ME TELLS BELLE
That Telephone Girls Are
Hard Little Workers, But
YOU CAN'T HURRY THEM

DON'T deny, Belle, that considered as a useful In
vention the telephone ranks with the opra glass
and the shoe horn, but deliver from the tele-
phone girls when I'm in hurry. If time hangs
heavy on your hands and you don't care much
whether you get your number it's Five cents
pleasep before you've had time to get your money
out of your pocketbook. But if you're in such
hurry you feel like clawin down the telephone 70
get nearer the girl
Well, ] was in hurry like that las night
Bill had asked me to go on the salesfolks' annual
moonlight with hiu-the salesfoIks' cert'nly know
Bisbee daily review., 1911-11-22
STREET RAILWAY ID
 STRAIGHTEN OUT TRACK
One Curve at Lowell Win Soon Replace Four as Line
 Now Runs

Within the next few days work will be started by the -Bisbee street railway company for straight ening of the track at Lowell. Before the track of the company reaches the Palace stables in Lowell there is a curve and just beyond this there are three other curves. The plan is Co remove three of these curves and by moving the track 10 have one curve instead of the present four.
 The plan of the street railway com pany became known last night when Jesse Yoakum appeared before the city council and asked permission on behalf of the company to move a man. hole to the city sewer where it passes the point in question. In asking this permission ne explained to the coun- ell the plans of the company. The permission was granted and he states that the work will soon begin.
 When the street ear company built its line it was required to build along the line used and this necessitated four curves in a very short distance where one curve would do as well To make the change that was desired and that is now to be made it was necessary to obtain the consent of the county and this was done about three months ago.
Bisbee daily review., 1911-11-22
REDUCED CRIME
 OF KASVANER
Witness Who Had Had Noth- ing But Fifteen Beers and
 Four Whistles

Following is the dismissal of 6 felony charge against Kanasta Kas yaner. in Judge Highs court yestes day afternoon. officers swore to a misdemeanor charge of assault and battery. ana the court. on the evi dence in the felony case. found the defendant guilty and fined him $40, which he paid
 The case was brought up from tho Lowell justice court Kasvaner was arrested on the complaint of John Kaski. who swore that the defendant had attacked him with a knife. At the hearing, however. the witnesses appeared reluctant to give testimony against the defendant, and on motion of P. B. Dorr. acting district at. toTney. the case was dismissed. I'm mediately following the dismissal oi the felony ease, 6 warrant was issued by the court charging Kasvaner with assault and battery He was ar raigned at the same sitting of the court and though he entered a plea Of not guilty, the court decided that he was guilty on the evidence given by witnesses 5 in the case that had been dismissed
 Eli Aho was the star witness of the case Asked by the court if he were drunk when the fight occurred in a Lowell saloon, he replied in the negative.
 How many drinks had you had then?" the court demaude
 bod EFt,,p F,.,w whiskies," the witness replied.
 Maryeling al such capacity, the court asked, "llog many drinks does it take to make you drunk2'
 Twenty whiskies.' the witness re- piled Apparently beers do not count.
 How long had ycu been in the salocng' asked thc eslmining at torney
 Two days and two nights" an- swered the witness.
Bisbee daily review., 1911-11-22
TONY" FAUST INSANE


 ST. LOUIS, Mo, Nov 21:-An in- quiry into the mental condition Of Anthony E, Faust. wealthy restaur- anteur known as Tony Faust. was be. gun today before Judge Holtcamp in tae Probate court The inquiry is tbe result Of the charges made by Mrs. Faust. who alleges that her hus- hand is insane and incapable of looking after his business affairs. other members of the Faust family agree with the wife that Mir. Faust is insane. In the opinion of the medi- cal experts, it is said. Mir. Faust has been afflicted with acute paresis for several months.
 Tony" Faust is one oI the best known men in St. Louis. He Is the son of the late Anthony Faust and broth CT of Edward Faust, vice president of the Busch Brewing com pany. When the elder Faust dis several years ago, Tony Faust sue ceeded him as proprietor of cater ing company and several large res taurants.
Bisbee daily review., 1911-11-22
ADMISSION 10c and 15c
AMERICAN BANKERS
Mr. Aldrieh Addresses Association
 Convention


 NEW ORLEANS, La, Nov. zl:-The i presidential address of F. 0. Watts of Nashville and an address by former Senator Nelson w. Aldricb. president of the National Monetary commission on "The Proposed Monetary Plan," were the chief features of the first Of the general sessions of tue Ameri- can Bankers association annual con ventioa here today Several thousand well known bankers and finaneiers. representing every part Of the country filled the Athenaeum when the con vention was formally opened this morning by an invocation by Archbis- hop Behrmann, and President Walm- sIey of the New Orleans Clearing House association. The response for tue visitors was incorporated in the annual address of President Watts, which was followed by the annual re- ports of other officers and he various standing committees. The address of ex-Senator Aldrich, which was listened 10 with closest attention by the 3s- sembled fnanc4ers, concluded the fore. noon session.
 Among the speakers and their tOp- ics at the afternoon session were the following: Rediscounts and Book Credits" George M. Reynolds, presi. dent of the Continental and Comer- cial National Bank of Chicago. ''iieS laiioR of the State Banks. Saving Banks and Trust Companies to the Naionai Reserge Association. F. Er Trust Company of St. Louis. and The Mobilization and Control of the Re. serves of the Country" James B. For gan, president of the First National bank of Chicago.
Bisbee daily review., 1911-11-22
$. ?. WILL hOT
 TAKE HIGH LINE

According to advices which have reached the presidents office Of the Southern Pacific of Mexico and the Arizona Eastern lines from First As sistant Secretary Samuel Adams of sthe department of the interior, the Gila box Canyon controversy be tween the Southern Pacific and the Casa Grande Valley Water Users as sociation for the ownership of the San Carlos damsite will be settled by @ departmental decision probably be 7cre December |. Secretary Adams has just returned to Washington The Southern Pacific is represented before the department by special counsel, who is now in Washington
 Absolutely nothing has been re- ceiyed at this office concerning any agreement on the part of the South ern Pacific to accept the high line route through the canyon" said As sistant General manager L. II. Long, wro is chief engineer of the Ran. Golph lines. That report, puT- porting to be special dispatch from Washington, is being widely printed but is untrue
 The position of the Southern Paci- hc. as stated today, is that the rail road company will definitely decline to build at all except on the low grade claiming that a raise sufficient to carry the grade above the l65 foot level of the proposed San Carlos dam would make it necessary for the rail- road 10 be built on higher level clear to San Carlos and would also render necessary so much extra expense in special construction in rip-Tapping and other work iu the vicinity of the Teservior that the total cost of the railroad would approximate S7,000,- 900 as against little more than S2,- COG, 600 by building on the low line.
 As figured out in the presidents office. the interest at 2 per cent on S7,OO0, 900 would be $350, 0,00O a year an amount of money which from the company's standpoint. the traffic earnings of the Durango line could not be made Co justify.