davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
QUAKER MEDITATToNs.

lFrom the Philadelphia Record.I
The first kiss only comes once in a
lifetime.
Some courtship end in marriage. and
some in the courts.
1t is no easy job to dock a shin,
even when the ships doctor is aboard.
Many a fellow who claims he never
does things by halves will borrow a
quarter.
No. Maude, dear: a magistrate can
not issue warrant to arrest the flight
of time.
Any hotel clerk will tell Won that
even lumberman must plank down
for his board
The man who is up with the lark
isn't the one who takes q swallow be-
fore breakfast.
Never strike man when he is down.
especially II you are going to strike
him for a loan.
We frequently hear of people who
suner untold agony, but no woman
Here is a book that is full of Wit IS
remarked the Wise Guy, pointing to
one of Mark Twain's. Yes hIt +tis IL
Whittier" replied the Simple Mug, az
he picked up-a volume of poems
Newlywed-"My wife is an excan+io,,-
al woman" Singleton-'Of conrsa.
They all are" Newlywed-"Buf We have
been married three weeks and she has
never once remarked that I donst tove
her as much as 1 used to-"
Tommy (wl1o has been readino .ho,,4
the Spanish Inquisition)-ssPon We
don't have instruments of torture ,,o,,,9
adays, do we?' Tommy's Por,1aSJct
since the cornet player moved aaua~
from next door. my SON.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
HUAOR or THE DAY

Her Gain-Mrs. Jones-Does your hus-
band remember your wedding anniver-
sary?
Mrs. Smith-No; so 1 remind him of 1t
in January and June, and get two pres
ents.-Harper's Bazaar.
There is no use giving you check, my
dear. My bank account is overdrawn."
We'll, give it to me, anyway, George.
And, say. make 1t for $500. want to pull
it out of my shopping bag with my hand
kerchief at the bridge game this after
you appear to be studying very hard,
my boy" said the kind old man.
Eyes, SIR" said the child.
rs it a spelling book you have, my
mo. sir; It's the baseban guide
Buffalo Express.
Telegrapher-The message must not ex-
coed 10 words.
Fair senderI can add a postscript,
can't I2-Boston Transcript.
Frightful-They say she looked daggers
at him?
Worse than that. She looked long
hatpins. Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Crawford-It's an awful Job -
move.
Mrs. Crabshaw-But look at the advan-
tages, my dear. I'm never so happy az
when I'm picking out a new style of
wall Daper.-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.l

All bovs are opposed to corporal pun
ishment.
Having things hit you is the only
way YOU can learn to avoid them.
An Atchison girl uses almost as much
powder as humpty dumpty clown.
Considering the size of their stock,
some men devote too much time to in
voicing.
Isn't it true that fishing was always
better the day before you arrived at
the lake?
If there is one child in the family, 1t
can boss its parents, but two children
can't do 1t.
Looks don't always count: there is
the strawberry from the south that
looks like the real thing.
Did anyone ever have munps so Sc
verely that other people didn't regard
the misfortune as a joke?
And to make it worse, the crouch be-
lieves he bears a great burden, lnsteao
of adding to those of others.
4,oys learn early to hate the trusts,
and drive a lot of fun throwing rocks
at the insu1ators of telegraph pole.
eff you don't squib me in connection
with it." said a Missourian to report
er today, '1 can give you an item
When you put over good one don't
lose the advantage you have gained Dy
talking too much about your victory.
WHY does a woman, when she thinks
she has literary ability, feel that she
would make a good hand on news
paper?
People who stay at home most OF the
time. usually give a travelling man
credit for having a much more ]oyIul
time than he ever has.
If you inherited anything worth
while, it should keep you so busy you
won't have much time to devote to
Dragging on your ancestors.
Every town that isn't that large,
hopes some day to acquire sufficient
industries to warrant complaining
about the smoke nuisance.
1t is said a guinea hen will frighten
chicken hawks away from the chick
en- yard in case you have been looking
for the guinea hens excuse
You envious ones are asked to re-
member that, while the school teachers
won't have much to do until next fall.
they won't get paid for 1t.
Unless they induce you to quit gam
bling, you probably will never be able
to cash in any OF the tips on races
which some papers print.
The bald-faced horse probably ac-
quired a reputation for a mean DISPOSE
ton because it looks it. Not, of course.
that clothes make the man.
The language or Love, about which
the poets COO, sounds worse to a man
who isn't in a mood to speak or listen
to it, than Russian does to a rank out
slider.
You know so much, you may know of
an intellectual woman who beat the
fluffy ruffles type in an argument
where man was the subject of the de-
bate.
Devoting more time to your lawn and
less to your club is one method of i'm
proving the standard of citizenship
without any brass band accompani-
ment.
Daughter may have doubts about
some things, but nothing can shatter
her confidence in the belief that she
will do better than Mother did when
it comes to selecting a man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
GFrom the New York Press

Sensible shoes are almost as obnox-
ious to a girl as sensible talk.
There's always something to waste
money on, if it's only a private garden.
The reason a woman can deprive
herself of SO much Cor the family is
a man won't.
A man can be lucky in love without
knowing it by not getting the girl he
is trying to.
The more a man thinks he knows
about household affairs the better for
him II he leaves them all to his wife.
You can forgive a man for most
anything but being popular.
There's a heap of good bread and
butter brains wasted trying TO do
something in fine arts.
When sentiment is SO cheap it's
queer how stingy men can be in CIV
ing it to their wives.
1t takes a man about the rest of his
life to recover from an attack of hold
ing public office
One problem in raising children is
you take the spirit out of them if you
whale them and II you don't you leave
the devil La them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
THE SEAS NEWLY DEAD.


rms is thy garnered harvest,
o barren mother sea,
The dead who wander. wander
throughout the heart of thee,
caught to thy breast of waters,
Borne by the streams that creep
Along their bitter causeways,
The highroads of the deep.
Sprawling like some spent swimmer
By thy slow currents led,
SO go forever onward
Thy HStlesS, languid dead.
my ways are strewn with victims,
Thy paths are white with bones,
F1sh-picked and Scourged by waters.
The deep's white paving stones.
Lstless and dumb explorers
Thrilled with no joy or pain,
With dead still eyes behoiding
Thy Swallowed vast domain.
By reef and roaring headlands,
By tropic isle and key,
Across thy stretching pampas,
Sunk gardens of the sea.
Where strange, fair growths strain up
ward
To meet the drowned, dun day,
And, gold and blue and scarlet,
The slim, quick fishes play.
By mouths of mighty caverns,
.Earth's cellars, ocean bored,
Where what vast acrid vintage
Forgot by time is stored?
Walter Perry Doig, in Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
HYHAWKER JOTS

There are lots of fellows" says the
Baldwin Ledger, ''who are waiting
around for chance to drive a, good
bargain when they should be driving
nails into their old house"
The editor of the Minneapolis Bet
ter Way, finds some consolation in the
thought that: There Is some compen-
sation in being a renter. If one has no
house and lot to mortgage he is not
apt to buy an automobile That is,
the dealer is not apt to sell him one.
We knew it! Charlie Scott is not to
be allowed to reform Kansas again.
The president sends him to Europe to
study agricultural conditions. The sal
airy is large and the expense allowance
larger and he ought to have the lar
gest kind of a time.-Washingto
Palladium.
The KinsIey Graphic opines that if
Joedol1y, who has started rogues'
gallery in competition with the COVER
nor's office and the state historical So
ciety, can gather a worse lot of pic
lures than those hanging in the gov
errors office he will be entitled to a
niche in the Hall of Fame"
The Norton Champion views with
alarm the fact that Prof. Dyche, the
state fish commissioner, has been as
signed desk room in the same room in
the same office with Dave Leany.
First thing the professor knows" says
the Champion, his bulletins will begin
to sound fishy. Dave is the inventor
of the fishless fish stories :"
Again the Holton Signal grows fac
etious: Bank Commissioner Dolley
published instructions last week show
ing the methods adopted by the
craftsmen in robbing a bank. This
will be of much value to those who
were in doubt as to how it should be
done. To facilitate matters more a
list of the easy ones might have been
added.
Being an "oId batch" Bert Walker
has no personal knowledge of the con-
dition of which he writes, but his
guess was good when he wrote: Dozens
of men in every community lead
double lives That is, they are Roar
ing Lions when they are stalking
up and down Main street, but mere
Cottontsil Rabbits when at home and
in the presence of Her.
Extra! The Manhattan Nationalist
SLAMS Bristow on the wrist. Just like
this: Senator Bristow il utterly dis
gusted because he didn't get on the
committees he wanted to in the U. s
Senate. Well, now that's too bad
Joey. LaFollette is also sucking his
thumb and pouting about the places
he didn't get, either. Both OF these
gentlemen stack up about deuce high
in Republican councils at Washington
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
Pelicans Whipped Foxes.

A realistic jungle feast occurred on
the Hamburg American liner Pretoria
when that vessel was one day out from
Hamburg More than so feathered pas
wilds of Pennsylvania, were sacrificed
to the epicurean greed of the banquet
ers.
The Pretoria, beside her thousand
and more cabin and steerage passen-
gers, brought over two beautiful speci-
mems of arctic foxes. blue in color. and
said to be very rare. There were also
1,463 pheasants, $50 cartridges, "a wild
ducks, 13 geese, and East African
pelicans on board. All were put in
charge Of Second Officer Anderson and
placed in a compartment forward. The
pelicans were in large crate in cor
ner, the foxes being placed next them
The geese. all German, and said to be
trained goose steppers. were nearby.
The entire consignment is going
what is left of ito an agent for sew
era1 wealthy men in Philadelphia and
Pittsburg, who intend to turn the birds
loose in game preserve. The foxes
are designed for pets.
The trouble started when the foxes,
small but muscular, found they were so
close and yet SO far from the birds
They waited till night, however, in true
foxy manner, and then began their
work.
First their sharp teeth cut through
then into those of one of the crates of
cartridges. Twenty-Five cartridges were
slain.
The foxes next went for the pleas
ants. 1t may have been they were I'M
able to get the ducks and geese or
that they were saving them up till last.
Anyway, they selected the dignifed
looking pelicans for their third raid.
The pelican crate was broken open
and then-the excitement began. The
- NtA
went for the foxes-each a very fat
fox by this time-and finally cornered
them with their long, sharp bills. The
uproar was heard by Capt. Meyer
diercks and First Officer Remanofsky.
1t sounded to them as If a free fight
among steerage passengers was in
progress, and with double watch they
went to the firing line. The foxes
were soon helpless and shortly bundled
back into their cages.-New York
American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The man with no enemies is liable to
be correspondingly short on real
friends.
Be sure you are right, then go ahead
and think it over while longer.
y \
Suggestion to professional reform
ers: F1eas are going to the dogs every
day; why not start a World Wide Move
ment for their Redemption?
= y =
1t doesn't seem I'd make the average
man any sharper to keep his nose to
the grindStone.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

stopped. But friendly games where
there is no ''rakeoff" for the proprie-
tor and where there is nothing pro-
fessional about them are all right and
will not be molested. To draw the line
between friendly and professional
gambling would tax the wisdom OF a
Solomon, SO the chances are that any
old kind of gambling will go in Chi
cago
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom- the Chicago News.l

from the Chicago NeWs.I
It's dificuh to discourage girl who
can't sing.
It's a wise proverb that is able to
deliver the goods.
After her third engagement girl be-
gins to appear anxious.
Occasionally a girl doesn't try to firt
because it's involuntary.
Many a man has discovered that pop-
ularity is not worth the price.
A man is always interested in the
affairs Of people who owe him money
To transform friends into enemies
simply tell the whole truth about them.
Don't worry because the other fellow
got what you wanted. It may ruin
him.
But few novels are written for think
ing people; most OF them are written
for the entertainment Of women.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
zoodrow wilson,s tunket isn't VIC

woodrow Wilson's junket isn't worth
half as much in the estimation of To-
peka people as when the trip was first
planned. Until Wilson notified Tope-
ka that he could not put this town
on his schedule, Topekans were will
1ng to read everything Wilson said on
his trip
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

The growth of the automobile in
dustry is indicated by the figures from
Massachusetts where the number of
licenses has increased twenty per cent
for the past quarter as compared with
the same months of 1910. The auto
mobile is no longer considered a play
thing and neither has it had its day.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
nudge Geo. H. Whitcomb, Judge Of

+ Judge Geo. H. Whitcomb, judge of
the new district court in Shawnee
county, went into the Office just in time
to land some of the heavy Jobs. After
successfully disposing of the Cooper
family rows, Judge Whitcomb will now
wrestle with the division of the $780,
600 Gordon estate
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

J. II. Patterson, the Rock Island
agent at Bishop, who cared for the
Mexican who had smallpox when he
had been deserted by the officers who
should have seen that he was properly
cared for, deserves a Carnegie medal.
He didn't wait for orders from head
quarters but met the emergency him
self in courageous, manly way
though he endangered his own health
and life bY doing go.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
CONFUSING THE TRAIL?

Is there. or is there not, a certain
Interest" or group of interests, who
would not mind involving this country
in war with Japan, principally as Japan
is the most available nation for the
purpose?
State the proposition in cold blood,
and it seems too outrageous to tolerate.
And vet?
1t is an old, old game. when things
are not going your way. to get every
body mixed up in first-class fight
over something else. And while they
are busy at that, you can go about
your own ends unmolested.
Really, the repetition of all these
Japanese plot yarns and their constant
explosion, and the steady drawing to-
gether into friendly relations of Wash
ington and Toxic, the continuous tend
ency to better mutual understanding
of each others difficulties and preju-
dices, makes a whole lot of us rather
suspicious.
The INSTRUMENTATION nameless-
foreign authorities etc, who appear
time after time in certain group of
newspapers not noted for friendliness to
the popular side do not diminish our
doubts ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

1t was quite a formal affair for the
peace conferees to suspend action until
President Diaz had an opportunity to
resign. In Kansas the most promis-
ing plan would have been to declare
the office vacant and adjourn.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

The parade of 1000 indignant New
York women who wanted equal SUI
frage. is worthy of little consideration.
The parade did not change the results.
Last winter when the Kansas women
wanted the equal suffrage resolution
passed they came to Topeka and camp
ed in the state house until they got it.
And perhaps they might have had more
had they asked for it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
ONE KENT.
FROM OTHER PENS

UNDIGESTED PUBLIC OPINION,
Give the people the full referendum
said Mr.. Berger in introducing his
bill in the House for abolishing the
United State Senate, and "God knows
progress will be slow enough" His
phrase full referendum is somewhat
ambiguous; it might be interpreted in
several ways. But what Mr.. Berger
appears to have meant was that with
the people in immediate control of
every public official progress would
loiter on the way
Judging from the experience of the
western communities now living under
these Utopian conditions what he SAYS
is literally true. The fifth recall cleo
ton occurred in Tacoma a couple of
weeks ago, and No.l'6 is due early in
May. AS a two months record this is
something to be proud of, but, as Mr..
Berger implies, 1t isn't PROFESSOR, at
least, not obviously progress.
Any political system which requires
all of the voters time to keep govern
ment In a satisfactory condition fails
to take account of the fact that active
politics is, for the average man, a lux
ury--a thing to be INDUCED only at
relatively infPequent intervals and at
more or less expense to the productive
business of the world with which, not
being professional politician. it is to
be presumed he is, in some more or
less remote degree, connected.
1t is, in fact, not easy to reconcile
Mr.. Berger's concluding remarks with
his resolution. The latter besides pro-
viding for the determination of the
senate shears the veto power from the
president and takes away the right of
the courts to pass upon the constitu-
tfOnality of legislation. In other words,
it gives the man in the street direct,
untrammeled, and easy access to the
statute books, removes all checks, and
does away with any pause to give Sec
ond thought and better information an
opportunity to prevent mistakes.
1t may be contended that what Mr.
Berger meant to say was that even
after his improvements had been Sc
cured progress would still be tediously
slow. But as it is clear that they
would have the effect of slowing 1t
down rather than acceleratlng it, of
tangling government up in an mex
tricable confusion of half-baked the
cries and temporary fads. this inter-
probation seems hardly reasona ble.-
New York Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

It IS rumored that the Saturday
Might club will take decisive action on
the governorship at the twenty eighth
annual banquet in Topeka next Satur-
day night.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

Now that the street force is once
more on duty it might devote some at
tention to the holes in the pavement
which have been improperly repaired.
There are enough of them to keep the
force busy for several weeks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

The state agricultural college has a
real press agent. He is devoting his
attention to tell what the college is do
ing instead of wasting ink complain
ing because his institution did not re-
ceive larger appropriations from the
LEGISLATURE
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

Representative MondelI of Wyoming
must be a brave man. He advocated
universal suffrage on the floor of con-
gress. 1t is not on record that even
Uncle Joe Cannon raised his voice in
rnrnfest
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

Gage park is a credit to the city.
There should be no stint of money to
further improve this park. That has
been the drawback that has hampered
the growth of the Topeka park sys-
tenn. Topeka can afford to have real
parks and it viii have to keep on NOV
ing if it is to retain it's r-sition as the
most beautiful city in the west.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
KANSAS COAAENT
TEACHERS Pensions.

64NOIO4NO.
among the many excellent progress
slVe laws passed by the recent Kansas
legislature was one permitting cities
teachers
Iopeka public school teachers will
axe advantage of the new law which
makes possible the payment of a pen
sion aggregating $500 per annum for
tnose teachers who comply with the
requirements of the law and are re-
vice.
The teachers committee of the
BOARD or education was instructed at
the regular May meeting of the board
10 make plans for putting the system
INTO operation It was stated by Mrs
=. T.. Evans, chairman of the commit
zee, that out of 237 teachers canvassed,
loz expressed the desire to receive
the Deneht of the new state law.
In the next legislature an effort will
De made to give second class cities this
same right. If that is done Emporia
VIII lead or. No pension is more just
than that to a man or woman who de-
votes his life to school teaching. For
ne gets low wages and small glory and
little hope of romotion.-Emporia
Gazette.
THE FARMER IS IT
me attention of the entire country
- peIng directed towards the farmers.
gigantic railroad corporations are
f1nding their most profitable business
outlook to be in added farmer produc-
ton. The schools are turning out men
trained for scientific work on the
farm- The agricultural papers are
calling loudly for learned men in the
FARMER field as writer's. The entire
country is turning to the farmer. That
IS our great source of wealth, our
great hope. Manufacturing is a great
money maker, but it is based upon
farm production. The farmer is the
biggest man in the country today
Lawrence Journal-World.
ONE KENT
Also there's one Kent-the new
progressive" member from Califor-
MIA who defeated Duncan McKinIay.
an able member. Kent claims to be
Republican.
In speech in the house the other
day however, he said: 81 am a Re-
publican-that is, I was a Republi-
cam"
That expression of Kent's charac-
ter1zes entirely too many insurgents,
or Camorrfsts, as they are now called
Garden City Telegram.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

It might be well for the aspirants
for the governorship to hold a confer
ence with c. E. Denton, ex-secretary
of state. He has a way Of getting what
he goes after and not long ago he had
a notion to go after the governorship.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

Thirteen may be considered un1ucky
under certain conditions. But when
Is building permits were issued last
week, there was a Jubilee among the
Topeka contractors and real estate
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news is received In The State Jour
pose
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

heaven to save the world from sin. The
church is her own and her gentleness
and piety and constancy have been its
strength and endurance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-08

Kansas wheat is moving right along
and it now looks as if the state would
have the largest crop for several years
past Kansas wheat just has to make
good or Mr.. Coburn would resign his
inh