davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1911-06-09
DANIEL CAPPLEMAN
WHAT THEY ALL CALL IT

Grandma says we're right in style
A-sittin' in our automobile.
Grandpa says we're fit to kill
A-ridin in our AUTOMOBILE.
Ma. she says We ought to feel
Grateful for our autOmO-beel.
Pa says amt no other man
Kin run an auto like he can.
Auntie breaches near and far
Bout our lovely touring car
Uncle Bill says he amt seen
Nowhere such a good machine.
Brother Jim he keeps a braggin'
Bout the speed of our new wagon.
But, oh, it sounds so grand and nObl
When Sister Sue says automobile.
Anonymous, in Birmingham Age
Herald.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1911-06-09

Gadsden county is offering Asa B.
Clark as a candidate for state super
intendent of public instruction. AS
yet Mr.. Clark has not signified his
willingness to make the race, but II
he should do so he would no doubt
make the other candidates sit up and
take notice. Mr. Clark is young
man, full of energy and determine
ton. and is thoroughly qualified to
fill the position. Journal.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1911-06-09
LITTLE HELPS

When silver is not in constant use,
a piece of camphor will keep it from
furnishing, says the Louisville Her
aid
Clear soup should be strained with
out forcing through a folded towel,
laid on a colander; otherwise parti-
cles of egg used in clearing will be
forced through and spoil the soup.
Net blouses do not get stringy If
washed in bran water Pour boiling
water over a small bag of bran and
when cool rinse the net in it.
After an umbrella has been in use
for a short time put a drop of oil in
the center of the top about once a
month. This prevents the ribs from
rusting.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1911-06-09

The Times continues to brag on
l,palachicola's freckled-faced beau
ties
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1911-06-09

Rioting and pillage continue in Mex
lean cities.
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14

eigner pointed out was an advertise.
ment headed zone Hundred Dollars
Reward" To earn II, n must re.
turn the rag-doll lost. strayed. or
stolen from the Millionaire's man.
sion. II seemed that grief still raw.
aged. unchecked. In the bosom Of the
too faithful Child. Flip, the terrier.
capered and shook his absurd whis.
kers before her. powerless to distract.
She walled for her Betsy in the faces
Of walking. talking, ma-maing. and
cye-closing French Mabclles and Vic
lettes. The advertisement was a last
resort.
Black Riley came from behind the
stove and approached Fuzzy In his
~one.sided, parabolic way.
The Christmas hummer, flushed
with success. had tucked Betsy under
his arm, and was about to depart to
the filling Of impromptu dates else.
where.
Say, 'Bo," said Black Riley to him,
where did you cop out dat doll?"
This doli?" asked Fuzzy. iouching
Betsy with his forefnger to be sure
that she wal the one referred to.
why. this doll was presented to me
by the Emperor Of Beloochistan.
have seven hundred others In my
country home in Newport. This
doll"
Cheese the funny business" said
Riley. you swiped 1t or picked II up
at de house on dc hill where-but
never mind dat. You want to take
fifty cents for de rags. and take II
quick. Me brothers kid at home
might be wantin' to play wild 1t. Hey
-what?"
He produced the coin.
Fuzzy laughed q gurgling. insolent
alcoholic laugh in his face Go to the
office Of Sarah Bernhardt's manager
and propose to him that she be re
leased from a nights performance tc
entertain the Tackytown Lyceum and
Literary Coterie. You will hear the
duplicate of Fuzzy's laugh.
Black Riley gagged Fuzzy quickly
with his BURBERRY eye as a wrestler
does. His hand was itching to play
the Roman and wrest the rag Sabine
from the extemporaneous merry.an
drew who was entertaining an ange
unaware. But he refrained. Fuzz!
was fat and solid and big. Three
inches Of well.nourished c%orporeity
defended from the winter winds b!
dingy linen. intervened between hi'
vest and trousers. Countless small
circular wrinkles running around hi,
co~at-sleeves and knees guaranteed
the quality Of his bone and muscle
His small. blue eyes. bathed In tn
moisture Of altruism and wooziness
looked upon you kindly yet without
abashment. He was whiskerly. wills
kyly. fleshily formidable. 80. Blacl
Riley temporized.
"Wot'll you take for It. dent" h
asked.
Money" said Fuzzy, with husk!
lrmness. cannot buy her."
He was intoxicated with the artist,
first sweet cup of attainment. To Sc
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14

in the hall. James explained some.
where to some one.
Then he came and conducted Fuzzy
into the library.
The lady entered q moment later.
She was moro beautiful and holy than
any picture that Fuzzy had seen. She
smiled. and said something about q
doll. Fuzzy didn't understand that:
he remembered nothing ut all about
q doll.
A footman brought in two small
glasses o: sparkling wine on q
stamped sterling .silver waiter. Tho
lady took one. The other was handed
to Fuzsy.
As his fingers closed on the slender
glass stem his disabilities dropped
from him for one brief moment. He
Strengthened himself: and Time. SO
disobliging to most Of us. turned back.
ward for q moment to accommodate
Fuzzy.
Forgotten Christmas ghosts whittier
than the false boards Of the most epu-
lent Kriss Kringle were rising In the
fumes Of Grogan's whisky. What had
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14

- HERE are no more Christ.
~ mas stories to write. Ffc.
ton Is exhausted; and
NV newspaper items, the next
~~ best. r manufactured by
clever young journalists
who have married early and have an
cngagingly pessimistic view Of life.
Therefore, for s%easonable diversion,
We are reduced to two very question.
able sources-facts and philosophy.
We will begin with-whichever you
choose to call It.
Children are pestilential little ami.
mails with which we have to cope un.
der q bewildering variety Of condi.
lions. Especially when childish sor.
rows overwhelm them are we put to
our wits end. We exhaust our paltry
store OF consolation: and then beat
them, sobbing. to sleep. Then we
grovel in the dust of a million years,
and ask God why. Thus we call out
of the rat-trap. As for the children,
no one understands them except old
maids. ~hunchbacks, and shepherd
dogs.
Now come the facts in the cas- Of
the Rag-Doll. the Tatterdemalion, and
the Twenty.fifth of December.
On the tenth Of that month the
Child Of the Millionaire lost her rag.
doll. There were many servants in
the Millionaire's palace on the Hud-
son. and these ransacked the house
and grounds. but without finding the
lost treasure. The Child was a girl
of five. and one of those perverse lit.
tie beasts that often wound the sensi.
bilities Of wealthy parents by fixing
their affections upon some vulgar. in.
expensive toy instead Of upon dia-
mond-studded automobiles and pony
p%haetons.
The Child grieved sorely and truly,
a thing inexplicable to the Million.
ARE, to whom tho rag-doll market was
about as interesting. as Bay State Gas;
and to the Lady. the Child's mother,
who was all for form-that Is, nearly
all. as you shall So.
Tho Child cried inconsolably. and
grew hollow-eyed. knock.kneed. spin
ding. and corykilverty In many other
respects. The Millionaire smiled and
tapped his Golfers confidently. The
pick Of the output Of the French and
German toymakers was rushed by spe
cial delivery to the mansion. but Ra'
chel refused to be comforted. She
was weeping for her rag child. and
was for a high protective tariff
against all foreign foolishness. Their
doctors with the finest bedside man
ners and stop-watches were called In
One by n they chartered futilely
about peptomanganate Of iron and
sea voyages and hypophosphites until
their stop-watches showed that Bill
Rendered was under the wire for show
or place. Then. as men. they advised
that the rag-doll be found as soon al
possible and restored to its mourning
parent. The Child shifted at thera
peutics. chewed . thumb. and waited
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14

and "One-ear" Mike held a hasty con
verse outside Grogan's. They were
narrOw-chested, pallid striplings, not
lighters In the open. but more danger.
GUS In their ways Of warfare than the
most terrible Of Turks. Fuzzy. In a
pitched battle. could have eaten the
three Of them. In a go-as-you.please
encounter he was already doomed.
They overlook him Just IA he and
Betsy were entering Costigan's Ca.
sino. They DETECTED him. and showed
the newspaper under his nose Fuzzy
could read-and more.
Boys" said he. you are certainly
damn true friends. Give me q week
to think Il over"
The soul Of O real artist is quenched
with difficulty.
The boys carefully pointed out to
him that advertisements we're soul.
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14

a faded-blue, earth-stained raE-doll on
q bar, to hold mimic converse with 1t.
and to find his heart leaping with the
sense Of plaudits earned and his
throat scorching with free libations
poured In his honor-could base coin
buy him from such achievements.
You will perceive that Fuzzy had the
temperament.
Fuzzy walked out with the gait of a
trained sea.lion In search Of other
cafes to conquer.
Though the dusk Of twilight was
hardly yet apparent, lights we're begin,
ming to spangle the city like popcorn
bursting In a deep skillet. Christmas
eve. impatiently expected, was peep.
Ing over the brink Of the hour. Mil
lions had prepared for Its celebration.
Towns would be painted red. You.
yourself. have heard the horns and
lodged the capers Of the S%aturnalians.
pigeon" Mccarthy. Black Riley.
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14

O0ouys
other street was q pleasaunce trim.
med to q leaf. and the garage and
stables. The Scotch pup had ravished
the rag-doll from the nursery. drag.
god 1t to Q corner Of the lawn. dug q
hole. and buried 1t after the manner
Of careless u~ndertakers. There you
have the mystery solved. and no
checks to write for tho hypodermical
wizard or fi.pun notes to toss to the
sergeant. Then let's get down to the
heart Of the thing. tiresome readers
the Christmas heart of the thing.
Fuzzy was drunk. Not riotously or
helplessly or lo~quaciously. as you or
might get. but decently. appropriate
ly, and inoffensively. as becomes q
gentleman down on his luck.
Fuzzy was o soldier Of misfortune.
The road, the haystack, the park
bench. the kitchen door. the bitter
round of eleemosynary beds-with'
observation-disclosures, the petty
pickings and ignobly garnered larg'
esse Of great citites-these formed
the chapters of his history.
Fuzzy walked toward the river
down the street that bounded one
side If the Millionaire's house and
grounds He saw q leg Of Betsy. the
lost rag-doll. protruding. like the clue
TO a Liliputian murder mystery. from
It's untimely grave In q corner of the
fence. He dragged forth the meltrest
ed infant, tucked 1t under his arm. ant
went on his way grooming q song d
his brethren that no doll that has
been brought up to the sheltered life
should hear. Well for Betsy that she
had no ears. And we'll that she hat
no eyes save unseeing. circles o.
black: for the faces of Fuzzy and thu
Scotch terrier were those Of brothers
and the heart Of no rag.doll coult
withstand twice to become the prey
Of such fearsome monsters.
Though you may not know II, Gro
gan's saloon stands near the river and
near the foot Of the street dowr
which Fuzzy travelled. In Grogan's
Christmas cheer was already rampant
Fuzzy entered with his doll. He fan
cied that as q hummer at the feast o
Saturn he might ear a few drop
from the wassail cup.
He set Betsy on the bar and ad
dressed her loudly and humorously
seasoning his speech with exaggerat
ed compliments and endearments. a
one entertaining his lady friend. Tn
loafers and bibbers around caught tn
farce of it, and roared. The barten
der gave Fuzzy a drink. oh. man.
OF Us carry rag-dolls.
zone for the lady?" suggested Fuz
zy impudently, and tucked anothe
contribution to Art beneath his waist
coat.
He began to see possibilities Il
Betsy. His f~irst.night had been a sue
cess. Visions Of q vaudeville circui
about town dawned upon him.
In a group near the stove sat "Pia
con" Mccarthy. Black Riley. an,
"One-ear" Mike, well and unfavorabl
known in the tough shoestring distric
that blackened the left bank Of tn
river. They passed a newspaper bac|
and forth among themselves. TIL
item that each solid and blunt fol
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14

Of the young. The Child bawled. and
WIS dragged away. hugging her Betsy
close.
There came the Secretary. pale.
poised. polished. gliding In pumps,
and worshipping pomp and ceremony.
He counted out into FuSxy's hand ten
ten.dollar bills; then dropped his eye
upon the door, transferred It to James,
It's custodian, indicated the obnoxious
Garner Of the reward with the other,
and allowed his pumps to watt him
away to secretarial regions.
When the money touched Fuzzy's
dingy palm his FIRST instinct was to
take to his heels; but a second
thought restrained him from that
blunder Of etiquette. II was his; II
had been given him. lt--and, oh,
what an elysium II opened to the gaze
Of hi" minds eye! He had tumbled to
the foot Of the ladder: no was hun.
cry. homeless. friendlcss. ragged. cold,
drifting; and no held in his hand the
key to q paradise of tho mud.honey
that he craved. The fairy doll had
waved 0 wand with her rag-stuffed
hand: and now wherever he might 20
the enchanted palaces with shining
f%oot.rests and magic red fluids In
cleaning glassware would be open to
him. -
He followed James to the door. "
He paused there al the flunky drew
open the great mahogany portal for
him to pass into the vestibule.
Beyond the wrought.iron gates in
the dark highway Black Riley and his
two pals casually strolled, lingering
under their coats the inevitably fatal
weapons that were to make the re
ward Of the rag.doll theirs.
Fuzzy stopped at the M~illionaire's
door and beth ought himself. Like lit
tie sprigs Of mistletoe on a dead tree
certain living green thoughts and
memories began to decorate his con
fused mind. He was quite drunk
mind you. and the present was begin
ming to fade. Those wreaths and fes
toons Of holly with their scarlet BET
ries making the great hall gay
where had he seen such things be
IOTot 0OIiOW uCiO AC h00 iiVWu W.
ished floors and doors Of fresh flowerI
in winter, and-and some one wa
singing q song In the house that hi
thought he had heard before. Som
one singing and playing . harp. o
course It was Christmas-Fuzz,
thought he must have been prett,
drunk to have overlooked that.
And then he went out Of the pref
ent, and there came back to him on
Of some impossible. vanished and II
revocable past q little. purewhits
transient, forgotten ghost-the spirit
OF noblesse oblige. Upon . gentleman
certain things devolve.
James opened the outer door. 4
stream of light went down the grav
eled walk to the iron gate. Blacl
Riley, Mccarthy and One-ear Mix,
saw, and carelessly drew their siniste
Gordon closer about the gate.
With a more imperious gesture thar
James master had ever used or coul,
ever use, Fuzzy compelled the menia
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14
Fuzzy Entered the MiIionalre's Gate
and z~Iexasssd Toward the Softly
Glowing Evidence Of the Mansion.

less and the deficiencies OF the day
might not be supplied BY the morrow.
"A cool hundred" said Fuzzy
thoughtfully and mushily.
Boys" said he. you are true
friends. I'll 30 up and claim the re.
ward. Tho show business IL not what
It used to be-"
Night was falling more surely. The
three tagged at his sides to the foot
Of the rise on which stood the Nil.
lionaire's house. There Fuzzy turned
upon them acrimoniously.
you are a pack Of putty-faced
beagle-hounds." he roared. go away
They went away-a little way.
In Pigeon McCarthy's pocket was
a section Of two-inch gas.pipe eight
inches long. In one end Of It and in
the middle Of 1t was O lead plug. One
half Of 1t was packed tight with solder,
Black Riley carried a slung-shot. being
a conventional thug. "One-ear" Mike
relied upon a pair of brass knucks--
an heirloom In the family.
why fetch and carry" said Black
Riley. when some one will do 1t toi
"? Let him bring It out to US. Hey
what"
I'VE can chuck him In the river
said pigeon" Mccarthy. with
stone tied to his feet"
"Youse guys make me tired" said
"One-ear" Mike sadly. "Ain't prog
ress ever appealed to non Of yez
Sprinkle q little gasoline on i'm. and
drop I'm on the Drlve-well"
Fuzzy entered the Millionaire'i
gate and z~igzagged toward the softl,
glowing entrance of the mansion. The
three COLLINS came up to the gate and
lingered-one on each side Of 1t, ops
beyond the roadway. They fingered
their cold metal and leather. conf
dent.
Fuzzy rang the door.bell. smiling
foolishiy and dreamily. An ~atavistit
instinct prompted him to reach for the
button Of his right glove. But hi
wore no gloves; SO his left hand drop
ped, embarrassed.
The particular mental whose duty
it was to open doors to silks and laces
SHE'D at FIRST sight of Fuzzy. But
second glance took In his passport
his card of admission, his surety o.
welcome--the lost rag-doll of The
daughter OF the house dangling undel
his arm.
Fuzzy was admitted into n grea'
hall, dim with the glow from unseer
lights. The hireling went away ant
returned with q maid and the Child
The doll was restored to the mourn
Ing one. Sne clasped her lost darling
to her breast; and then. with the In
ordinate s~ellshness and candor o.
childhood. stamped her foot ant
whined hatred and fear Of the odiouI
being who had rescued her from thu
depths OF sorrow and despair. Fuzz!
wriggled himself Into an ingratiator!
attitude and essayed the ia'otic smile
and blattering small talk that Is sup
posed to charm the budding intsllec
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14
"cemp'msnts shsason With Lady tn
House,"

the millionaire's mansion to do with .
long. wainscoted Virginia hall. whore
the riders were grouped around q Gil.
YER punch-bowl, drinking the ancient
toast Of the housef And why should
the patter Of the cab horses hoofs on
the frozen street be In any wise re-.
lated to the sound Of the saddled hunt.
ers stamping under the shelter Of tho
west veranda? And what had Fuszy
to do with any Of It?
The lady. looking at him over her
glass. let her c0ndescending smile
fade away like . false dawn. Her
eyes turned serious. She saw some.
thing beneath the rags and Scotch ter.
rier whiskers that she did not under.
stand. But It did not matter.
Fuzzy lifted his glass and smiled
vacantly.
"P.pardon. lady" he said. but
couldn't leave without exchangin'
compliments sheason with lady tn
house. 'Gainst principles gentleman
do sho."
And then he began the ancient salu.
tation that ~ . tradition In the
house when men wore lace rufiies and
powder.
"The-the blessings of another
year"
Fuzzy's memory failed him. The
lady prompted:
BE upon this hearth"
The guest" stammered Fuzzy.
And upon her who" continued
the lady, with q leading smile.
"Oh. cut 1t out" said Fuzzy. Ill.
.nanneredly. II can't remember. Drink
hearty"
Fuzzy had shot his arrow. They
drank. The lady smiled again the
smile of her caste. James envel0ped
Fuzzy and re-conducted him toward
the front door. The harp music still
softly drifted through the house.
Outside. Black Riley br,athed ON
his cold hands and Rugged the gate.
Cold though he was. he did not think
of deserting his post while Fuzzy re-
manned inside.
II WONDER" said the lady to herself.
musing, "who-but there were SO
many who came. I wonder whether
memory Is q curse or q blessing to
them after they have fallen SO low"
Fuzzy and his escort were nearly
at the door when the lady called:
"James!"
James stalked back o~bsequiously.
leaving Fuzzy waiting u~nsteadily., with
his brief spark OF the divine fire en-.
tirely gone.
Outside, Black Riley stamped his
cold feet and got q irmer grip on his
section of gas-pipe.
you will conduct this gentleman"
said the lady. downstairs. Then tell
Louis to get out the Mercedes and
take him to Whatever place he wishes
to 60"
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14
rhs Child orIsvsd sorsIy and Truly


for her Betsy. And all this time "a.
Diagrams were coming from Santa
Claus saying that he would soon be
here and enjoining us to show q true
Christian spirit and let up on the
poolrooms and tontine policies and
platoon systems long enough to give
him a welcome. Everywhere the spir.
It of Christmas was ~diffusing itself
The banks were refusing loans, the
pawnbrokers had doubled their gang
of helpers. people bumped your shins
on the streets with red sleds, Thomas
and jeremiah bubbled before you on
the bars while you waited on one foot.
hoily-wreaths OF hospitality were hung
in windows of the stores. they who
had 'em we're getting out their furs.
You hardly knew which was the best
bet In balls--three, high, moth. or
snow. It was no time at which to lose
the rag-doll Of your heart,
II Doctor Watson's investigating
friend had been called In to solve this
mysterious disappearance he might
have observed on the M~illionaire's
wall a copy of THE Vampire" That
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14

would have quickly suggested. BY in
d%uction. "A rag and a bone and q
hank Of hair" Flip" a Scotch ter
rier, next to the rag-doll In the child's
heart, frisked through the halls. The
hank Of hair! Aha! X. the unbound
quantity. represented the rag-doll.
But. the bone? Well. when dogs find
bones they Done! II were an
easy and a fruitful task to examine
F1ip's fore feet. Look. Watson! Earth
dried earth between the toes. or
course the dog-but Sherlock was not
there. Therefore It devolves. But
topography and architecture must in.
tervene.
The Millionaire's palace occupied a
lordly space. In front Of It vas a
lawn close-mowed as q South ireland
mans face two days after a shave.
At one side Of It and fronting on an.
The Red Cloud chief., 1911-12-14

O.'D Nv
Pass the Compliments Of the SEES
son With the Lady Of the House,"
to close the door. Upon o gentleman
certain things devolve. Especially at
tire Christmas season.
1T is cust-customary." he said to
James. the fiustered. when a gentle.
man calls on Christmas v to pass
the compliments Of the season with
the lady Of the touse. You und'standf
I shall not move shtep till ! pass com.
pl'ments season with lady tho house.
Und'stand?"
There vas an argument. James
lost. Fuzzy raised his voice and sent
It through the house u%npleasantly. !
did not say he was q gentleman. He
was simply a tramp being visited by Q
ghost.
A sterling silver bell rang. James
went back to answer II, leaving Fuzzy
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-10-11
DAIRY|NG TO Be
MORE PROMINENT
SECRETARY WILL ON ADDRESSES
INTERNATIONAL DAIRY
SHOW.
Lays Down Numbe: Of Precepts
Which Will Go Toward the Better
ment and Development Of the In
dustry in GeneraI-Secretary Is
Optimistic.
(By Associated Press.)

MILWAUKEE,, Wis, Oct. TO-
Dairying is destined to become more
and more prominent as branch OF
agriculture in the country, said Sec
retary of Agriculture James Wilson
in the course of an address in which
he officially opened the International
Dairy show at the auditorium last
night.
For it's best development the needs
of the industry generally throughout
the United States, Mr. Wilson laid
down these precepts:
Better dairy farmers.
Better cattle.
Better cropping systems that will
supply more home grown feed of bet
ter quality.
Better business methods.
More intelligent help in the dairy,
but particularly more intelligent use
of that help.
More attention devoted to the care
and preparation of dairy products,
particularly from sanitary stand
point; and more dairy men to make
their homes on the farm.