Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-09-28

wooden leg somehow and when every
thing had nuieted down Late Higgins
set down in A punkln pie and ruined
n bosom of his Tuxedo trousers and
remained seated the rest of the eve
ming. The party broke up in the wee
small hours the next morning and
Uncle Ezra Smith woke up about %
With his head i'm a bag of oats and
no sort OF recollectionS of where he
had been. Hi Hilliker says by ginger
pop. he is going to do his own huskin'
In the future as his wife missed nine
spoons and somebody got away with
a fine new nickleplated bride that was
hangin' i'm the barn. Constable Binks
Is the only one who is not under sus-
piciOn, as he was not present.
-
THE SEPTEMBER OYSTER.
The oyster with September comes.
An animal discreet.
He's mum and quite conservative
And never will repeat.
The things he hears, as people do
With all their might and main.
Although he's always in a stew
He never doth complain.
He fingers round the grocery store
And patiently awaits
To meet any one of a
Variety of fates.
A lonely figure far from home
And FAR from mother. dear,
With zone to ease his final hours
Or speak a word of cheer
He may be destined to appear
At some bang-up church fair
And play a star part at the feast
The only oyster there.
They may make him work overtime
And deity loop the loop
To spread his personality
Through 30 quarts of soup.
Ha NAV fnlya ,nv ~ s> N,,
A half dozen fried.
Far from his native habitat,
The seething. moaning tide.
They may entomb him in some turk
For the Thanksgiving feed.
His outlook, it must be allowed.
Is very dark, indeed.
OF all the things that roam the earth
Or swim the salty sea.
Who get the double cross for fair.
1t really seems that he
Has not got cen a gamblers chance
To win by any ruse.
The oyster surely takes his view
OF life: law. what's the use?'
A POLISHED YOUNG MAN.
A recent want ad:
Observation-Disclosures by a !:
{: young man with hardwood fin !:
ish. :.
!.
THROW FRESH EGGS, PLEASE.
My lady has "a wealth of hair
OF hue nut brown and rich
The true and false are matched so we'll.
You can't tell which is switch.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
BY gravy, it is also a long lane that
mas no line fence dispute.
1t is more blessed to give than to
receive. Also more expensive.
Rev. Hank is so tall thai when he
wants to out his hat on, he has to lift
1t up on a pole.
1t amt never necessary for a woman
to chaw slippery ellum in order to be
able to talk fast.
There amt nothing that will add ar
air of responsibility to Il Teller like a
pair of S glasses.
Rod Skibbs had n photograph of his
bank roll taken the other day. He
wants to have it enlarged.
Lem Purdy is very versatile. He is sc
peaked headed that he kin wear an,
size hat from a five TO seven.
Grandpa Bibbins says the trouble
with pie is that most Of it Is cut lust
a leetle too wide for his mouth.
The best thing about advice is thai
1t don't cost nothing. which, by the
way. is about all that the most of i,
is wuth.
A man who will take a stauran
Irish stew on faith amt got no need
of the other two virtues. hope and
charity.
Hi Higgins says his wife is toe
hln mo ~ ~o1~ ST. h,-k-l -.
steel shovel the other mornin' turning
pancakes.
A Teller with thick eye glasses AL.
ways gets IA fust class reputation fol
wisdom and p~erspicacity, whateve,
that means,
Hank Purdy bought a self-feedin
coal stove but got stuEg as he has to
feed the gOldum thing every day anG
sometimes twict.
There may be some fellers that neyc,
mad any ambition to play in the silver
cornet band. but they are the few wht
are now our billionaires.
Rod Skibbs says there is a show
called THE Climax" and. by ginger. /,
seems funny that they should name q
SHOW after plug chewin' tobacker.
1t beats III how many self made
men are ridin' around in oatmobiles
and how many college graduates are
peddlin' books on foot these days.
1t is said that q soft answer turnett
away wrath, but this is not true wher
you answer a stump speakers areu-
ment with an antique tomater.
Higher education will get a boost
when 1t gets so there is as much none,
In teachin' school rs there IL in driyin
a hack. but that cine will never come
Uncle Ez Perkins says he Is always
dead sure when he has a leetle touch Of
rheumatisz that we are going to have =
storm or else some pleasant weather
or conrso there are argument. %.