The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-10-27
New York Press

in ripper years, as with our bald pates
shining forth ivory monuments to the
dear departed, and our various be-
reaved bumps exposed to the unrelent-
ing gaze of the phrenologist, that we
EeGin to ponder and apply hair tonic,
which. while it may yield no result as
to change OF surface conditions, prob
ably pen%etratcs the brain and grows
long hairs on our ideas. Hair has
played such an important role in his
tory, literature, art-in fact, all hui
man events past and present, that
without it We would be left with a few
dry, bald facts, very uninteresting, in
deed.
Eve was the first r~ed-haired woman
although it is a little hard to prove, as
color photography did not come into
use until scme years later, and moth
ing could be told by the newspaper
cuts which appeared in the Genesis
Morning News about that affair in the
Garden. However, historians have it
that her hair was red, n artists in
sist on painting it that color, as it
matches up SO we'll with green snakes
and leaves.
No n alive has ever seen Eve, yet
every one recognizes her picture at a
glance. There is an individuality about
her that cannot be mistaken. a beau
tiful lady, whose dressmaking bill is
lolIllIS d year, SllllilS uHQeT d tree
muncning an early fall pippin, while
she gently pets an eighteen-foot boa
constructor with her free hand. is in
stantlS spotted as Eve, even by litter
ate people who would not recognize
President Taft without his name IN.
Esau was another character who
claims some hirsute attention. His ia
ther Isaac was old and blind, but very
rich, and had two sons, Essau, the
hairy one, and Jacob, who only had
to ha &c once a month. Now. Isaac lik-
ed Esau the better, and he figured on
giving him his blessing" which really
meant turning owe all the business
and good will into his hands. So he
said: "Esau, my SON, l am getting
old. but my appetite is still good. !
wish you would take your bow and
arrow. shoot a nice young deer, cut
out some tenderloin sleaks and fry
them we'll done in butter. with plenty
of salt and just a dash of pepper. Aft
er dinner, while l am still in good
humor. 1 will give vol the blessing
and, by the way, save all the cheap
cuts for the servants; the only way
your father ever got ahead was by
being economical"
Rebekah. the mother of the boys.
favored the younger, Jacob. and. as
she was listening through the keyhole,
she Immediately Matched up a scheme
to get Jacob blessed before Esau got
back. Run quickly, son., and Stay
your brothers team of pet goats; they
are around on the front porch chew
; will prepare them toothsomely and
you q take in the meat and get the
blessing, for your father is blind and
cannot tell you from Esau."
: But, ma said Jacob, who was
cautious beyond his years. "Esau is SO
cluttered up with hair. suppose pa
takes hold of my smooth white hands
(Which the manicure girls say are per-
fect), what will happen them"
We'll. If you can stand having your
precious hands mussed up for Il few
minutes l will fashion you a pair Of
fresh goatskin gloves. with the HAIR
outside that will put Esau to shame"
, All right" said Jacob, but leave
pas door wide open and don't stand
in the way" So Jacob went in to his
father with a meat platter full of de-
licious steaks, for Rebekah was a good
cook.
My son, I am surprised at your
quick return; there must have been a
deer waiting for O at the front gate.
Careful there; don't spill that gravy
on the carpet"
This is my lucky day, pa-so far
said Jacob, who a his thumb in the
hot gravy. but didn't feel it, he was
SO frustrated.
Isaac ate with a relish. and, taking
the bogus hairy hands IN his, gave
away the blessing meant for the other
son. When Esau came in with his
meat an -FOUR or so later conditions
were not cheering. for both his goats
and his blessing had been got, and
Isaac. being a man of his word, could
not retract. There was strife and
high feeling between the brothers for
many years, n even their wives
would not speak when they met on the
street. Finally, however. they became
reconciled, though Jacob never could
take hold of Esau's hairy hands with
out looking the other way and getting
Very red in the face.
Then there was the mighty cham
pni0n Samson, who's strength was In
his hair and whose weakness was in
telling a woman about it. Fighting
was his occupation. and his physical
strength was such that it enabled him
TO do as much damage with the jaw
bone of a small mule for a weapon as
an ordinary modern soldier ma could
do with a machine gun today. Any
one who wished to fight a duel with
Samson offered to do it with mashed
potatoes. at 500 miles. and Immediate
ly took up their position. One morn
ing he Went out before breakfast with
hAS S1 VI tliio Nv 1,VOV liSIIi
which seems a little rude. considering
they were all total strangers whom he
had not Met before, even in Il bust
ness way. Philistines We're Samson's
faNorite fruit, and those that were not
killed outright were so we'll smitten,
hip and thigh, that they took all their
meals standing.
Just at the height OF his career Sam
son fell in love with Il Miss Dclilah,
and the lords of the Phiiistines, hear
ing of it. recognized their chance and
called on Delilah with q proposition
whereby she should receive LOO
could weedle out of Samson the Sc
cret of his great strength and betray
pieces of silver from each lord if she
him. If there was one thing Delilah
could do we'll it was w%heedling, and.
not being Very we'll brought up. she
Immediately closed the deal. with an
additional clause inserted in the con
tract pertaining to Il caSll-down pay
ment of carncst one
The Phiiistines went limping off to
Il drug store to purchase horse lini-
men, for their black and Ill places,
and grinned with pain as they applied
it. keeping up Il running fire of un-
complimentary remarks about Sam
son, and planning with keen anticipa-
ton what they would DO if they ever
got him in a tight place.
| Delilan used all nor WlleS to gel
Samson's secret. but he held on to it,
telling her. just in fun. different
things to bind him with. tried
everything from a corset string to the
wire off the telephone. turned the
kitchen stove W. on his feet and
sat OF his head. but every time She
shouted Here come the Philistines!"
Samson would jump Up. breaking
Everything, spill Delilah rudely under
the table (unintentional. of course)
and gallop out into the front yard,
tapping his arms and champing his