The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-09
A Memorable Trip to the East.


t.ioes of anxiety, perplexity, feal
aud amazemeDt, rs was the great
American Republic when the
mighty and mastdoonic John A.
MIliIams and his guardian angel,
II. NJ. Brennan, both of Colfax,
made their memorable and world
stirring invasion of the Eastern
States. So mysterious aud SO sud-
den was their entry into the Cap
ilol City that it was almost impos-
sible to determine just what their
trip meant. 1t was only the dip
lomatic skill of Prince Ching, the
Chinese ambassador, who was
personally acquainted with Bren-
nan, that convinced the President
and Congress that the awful visit
ors had come on a peaceful mis-
sion.
ORDER AT LAST RESTORED.
Special editions of the Wash
ington papers announced the joy
iul tidings that Williams and
Brennan had not come to destroy
tue American Nation, but had
come as peaceful citizens. The
good Westinghouse even then
were dubuious. AT the urgent re-
quest of all the foreign embassa-
doris, who were anxious TO do Uncle
Sam good turn, Mr.. Brennan
assembled the steps of the Capitol,
and IN a rousing speech that shook
the Washington monument, and
caused the plaster to fall from the
walls of the House of Represeta-
tiges, he managed to convince the
poor unlettered people of Wash
ington that there was no cause for
alarm. He told them that al
though Williams was enough to
flighten any people, be was per-
fectly tame, and that be Brennan J
vas his guardian angel and had
him perfectly under control. He
{ Brennan assured the poor Rubes
OF the Capitol City that they ma,
not believe it, but it is fact, that
Williams actually walks about the
streets of the wonderful fairy cit,
OF Colfax, and that the people OF
said city are not one bit afraid.
They were surprised to learn that
Williams actually speaks, reads
and writes the English language,
and was familiar with all the
American fine arts, and that he
has only two vices, namely, the
of near-beer and voting
tue Democratic ticket. The latter
vice with Williams is incurable,
but we entertain some hope for
the former.
HISTORY OF THE QUIXoTIC STUNT.
Several metropolitan newspa-
pers sent special representatives,
aud for TIE general information
detailed account of the whole
blame thing IS here given. 1t hap
pened In this way: John A. Will
hams woke up one day in August
at the usual hour, IL a. m. J and
1t suddenly occurred to him that
life in Colfax was too strenuous.
and that he needed a rest. He
had read in that charming book,
How to Get Broke" that the
East is the only place to rest.
Now Major Williams is an expert
pnced traveller, having gone sever
nj times to the Darro, and history
relates that he even went as far as
Alexandria, but there is some
1oubt about that. 1t suddenly oc-
.urred to Mr.. Brennan that same
lay that he bad little business
natter to straighten out In Wash
ngton, and that it was about time
or him to get busy. Then came
he coupd'etat. 1t was decided
hat Williams and Brennan should |
like out East the same day, each |
lgreeing to take good care of the |
'ther. Now these adventures |
with the best intentions.
'ut they were of different material. |
md nothing could be expected but
conglomeration. Williams, as
'veryone knows, is a huge, fear.
ess, noisy. jolly, ramfaDgled scally-
rag, while Brennan is one of those
oft, easy rnbber-tired gazooks,
rho gets frightened every time he
ees a girl over twelve years OF
Sc. But off they liked, and
'rennan winked at himself as he
bought what fun he would have
nth his Rube companion.
There is nothing worthy of
Office on the trip from CoIfax to
alexandria, except that Major
Williams fell asleep in the day
zach and snored 60 axprasS;val.,i