The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1911-07-07

lie We'll, I'm not kissing YOU
mother, am l?--Boston Transcript
Mamma, may carry Thu
paodle?"
mo. dear; you are too little ant
too careless, but you may carry thu
baby a little ways. Houston Post
| Nora Men are queer. W.T.
! Dora-Yes; they are delighted
when you forget how TO swim and
made when you forget how baseball
is played. New York Sun, a
"They say Ne wasted a,fortunc =
a chorus girl f5N
"Oh. it wasn't wasted She 4ssn'i
kept any Of III out of circulatiohy III
Chicago Record-Herald. sA
Girl-Whatb your opinion al wo-
men who initiate men?
Man-They'fe idiots.
Girl-Then the imitation is sue.
cessful.-Toledo Blade.
The Madam with her hand to her
head lis my hair coming down,
Kate?
The Maid-Yes. a'am, in a min
ute. I'm going right upstairs for II
now.-Yonker's Statesman.
.Why has Deranter withdrawn
from the actors union?"
He thought the members. we're
getting too personal When they
wanted to make him the walking
delegate. "--Judge. -.Ka
What makes that man keel, say
ing he is not q candidate for bjbce -
Il don't know.'S replied Senator
Sorghum. unless II is in the hope
that somebody will come out and
contradict him ."-washington star.
A man expects much more. out OF
little effort. bit is lucky to get little
out OF much.
Going on your Vacation spongr|
Il can't leave for four more paydays
yet. Detroit Free Press.
Jenny: Jack, you ought to make
some sacrifice to prove that you love
me. What will YOU give up when we
are married?
Jack: I1l-I'll give up being a
elor..-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Positive Wife: John. why do you
talk In your sleep? Have you any
idea!
Negative Husband; So as not to
forget how, suppose. It's the only
chance | get.-Puck. 4@n
Gabber: You ought 10 meet Smith.
Awfully clever imitator. He can take
OFF anybody. M
Tottle twesrily): ] wish he we're
here now.-yariety Life.
DO you use condensed milk at your
house," " - ''''' G. ''.'s'
II guess so. We order quart a
day, and the miIkman squeezes II into
a can that holds about a pint. To
ledo Blade.
Wifey with magazIne): II says
here that a statute nile is $3.50 feet
and nautical mile $3.50 feet Now
why are they. different. John!
Hub: why-er-you know. my dear.
things swell when In the water
Boston Transcript. IS
= stopped week at their summer
cottage. They're different from most
people,
THAT so?"
Eyes. they never once said. You
know out here We do a lot Of things
that we wouldn't think Of doing in the
city.'-Detrcit Free Press.
lrate Visitor: cali this down
ttshh Naeus lVu dustlttnt VI yvuf
bills 1.-THE Most Remarkable Dwarf IN
the World" and he turns to be feet
5 inches high.
Bland Snowman Exactly SO. sir.
That's just what's 50 remarkable about
him. He's the tallest dwarf on record.
Weary. wake up." said LImping
Lem. shaking his fellow travellers
shoulder. wake up! wot's de mat
ter wit youse?"
Huhg asked Weary. half opening
his eyes.
"Wot's Dc matter Wit youscg You
been hayln' de nighimare7"
"Gecl guess I did. II was hor.
riblel vas drcamin' dat ! was a
boy again and me mudder was gittin'
ready 70 give me a bath."--chi.ago
Record-Herald.
1 >-@
What the young Man showed.
A young man sitting IN a subway
car with legs crossed and one foot