Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-08-30
courthouse : T ON
BY NJ QUAD
Copyright. ls1. by Associated Lit
erary Press.


All villages have their customs. The
custom In Valley Stream. and one that
had prevailed for IA quarter Of a cen
fury. was for newcomer to at once
state certain facts 10 Deacon Horner.
IL IL was widow she was expected
TO state her age. her income. her inten-
tons regarding second marriage.
whether or not her late husband died
happy. to what church she belonged.
her attitude in regard to church af-
fairs and picnics. if she attended the
circus and whether she was going to
live extravagantly or economically.
The deacon had always taken 1t upon
himself to act as inqulsitor and then
go from house TO house and spread the
news. He gave the Widow sharon
three days 20 get settled and then
called.
Then and there the good man re-
ceived the surprise of his life. He had
scarcely propounded question No.
when the widow replied:
''Sir, II is none Of your businessT'
Deacon Horner had never been
oalked before. and It vexed him.
The widow had brought four hogs
with her, having been a farmers wife.
and two days after the deacon's call
one OF those hogs came and rubbed
against his front gate.
Deacon Horner lifted up rock and
batted that hog. The hog was hurt
and ran away squeallng. A boy told the
Widow Sharon Of It, and she put on
I'll
OF the peace and got out summons
for malicious cruelty 10 animals.
There was a state law Gov ,ring the
case, and the deacon was fined SO and
costs
II may be remarked again that Dea-
con Horner was a good man. but there
is u limit to goodness. Not that same
hog, but another Of the widows flock.
got into the deacon's COW lot. There
was nothing for him to damage. but
the widow was sued for trespass and
had TO pay So damages. She paid II
and waited. II you will wait long
enough a COW will get into your garden
and devour your cabbages. In this in
stance IT was the deacon's cow. and
there was another suit for trespass.
and the deacon was mulcted. Did he
forgive the widow and promise that
his COW should be good In future? He
didn't. He said to himself that he
would bring that defiant widow low.
All Of a sudden the village of Valley
Stream began asking about the last
hours OF the defunct Farmer Sharon.
II was said that be died OF heart dis
ease after quarrel with his wife
about another man. Perhaps the wild
ow was not actually a murderess. but
she was very close TO il. She heard
the story. and she set out with an iron
jaw on her to run II down. In TWEEN
ty-four hours she had IL fastened on
the good deacon and had begun suit
for SANDER. Deacon Horner made out
not TO care. but when his lawyer came
to investigate he was more than will
had not died from heart disease. but
from the kick Of horse.
Then the lighting widow had to 20
and put her foot In it, In some way
she learned that Deacon Horner hadn't
paid his pew rent for fourteen years
and that he had passed bad two dol
lar bill on a windmill man. She was
indiscreet enough to repeat this, and
the first thing she knew the deacon
was after her. As matter OF fact.
his pew rent was all paid up. and he
had the receipts to show And as for
the bad bill. 1t was a windmill man
who had stuck him. The widow had to
give bnck that 500 to settle the case.
BY this time there wasn't a family in
i the village, nor for five miles around
that wasn't taking sides. and society
was upset and the churches suffering
Would be mediatorS had been to the
deacon and his reply was:
I'm sorry there Is any trouble, but
! can't let no widow run over me-"
And when they had gone TO the
widow. she said:
IF you think ! am going to let any
old widOwer boss me around you ar,
sadly mistaken"
Both sides were waiting for the mex
move. when the village was visited by
a peddlcr Of rat and mouse traps. he
had whole wagon load. AS he passct
from house to house he heard of tl'
! quarrel. and when he had got to the
Widow Sharon's and sold her tive
traps. he sat down and said:
"Tm going to stop this rumpus be
tween you and Deacon Horner. l
isn't right. and it isn't nice. You snt
he ought to marry"
"W h-a IT,
And the rat trap man called on tn
deacon and said:
Drop IT, You are hurting yourself
your church and the town. Court tn
widow and marry her"