davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
The Usual Handicaps

He works against the usual handi-
caps. He is popular with men. They
want him to share their pleasures. Put
he loves and wants you, so he resists-
and is guyed! The married ladies who
need dancing men at their parties court
him with an assiduity that forces him
into the acceptance of favors which he
is too conscientious not to return oc-
casionally. And that takes money But
he honestly limits himself in every way
possible. He tries to make and to save
for you.
He does not put up any claim to un-
selfshness. He is not digging and
grinding for your sake alone, though
he reasonably concludes that you are
as absorbed in the process as he. since
II means each for the other In the
end. He wants happiness Just as every
other human being does. And the long
word is spelled for him with the three
little letters YOU.
And what are YOU about? You are
getting tired of waiting" Waiting
for what? Waiting till CONDITIONS
YOU. YOURSELF CREATE can be
overcome. You have exhausted your
The Washington times., 1911-08-02

but for some fool reason customers
didn't have sense enough to buy.
The boss studied the baskets Of corn
for a while and then he decided they
didn't have enough husk on 'em. He
had to go down TO the wharf, anyhow,
this morning, and when he came back
his pockets were crammed with corn
husk.
II didn't take long to stick it on our
corn. as natural as II It had grown
there. and then the boss says: Now
watch"
watched. It was a plant for the
kids. Did you ever see a boy that
wouldn't rather smoke corn husk than
eat ice cream?
Well, every kid that saw that lux
uriant bunch Of husk ordered, COM
nanded. compelled his mamma to buy
some Of that corn!
Yes, the boss is pretty slow. Yes.
res.
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
SHE HOLDS 1T UP TO TH1
Girl Who Is Tired of Waiting

handkerchiefs. And you WANT TO
BE MARRIED AND SETTLED.
Why aren't you? Because you have
set a standard for the man TO reach.
You want to live in a certain neigh
borhood. The rents are high. You
want to keep a maid. She has to be
paid. You want to be able to enter
tain in your own home. 1t costs money.
You want to continue the card par
ties. the matinees, the two tailored suits
year, that you have had. And the
man, being conversant with the inelas-
ticity of the dollar, knows he must
make up in quantity what the specie
lacks in stretchiness.
Poor Innocent!
He KNOWS the value of money and
what 1t will and will not do. You do
not. But you want the things that
take a good deal of 1t. And he, poor
innocent! has not the penetration-it
does not go with love.-to see that the
right kind Of girl would consider
what she acquired by marriage and it's
companionship, its shared hopes. its
two-ply joys, would more than compen-
safe for a loss of the mere money
taking pleasures to which she was used
In girlhood.
What right on earth have you to be
tired of waiting? Why don't you
throw down the barrier you have set
for him and yourself. It's a fashion to
say that girls love more than men.
shall have to be shown that they love
the MEN. What they really love when
you analyze them is THEMSELVES.
You are proof Of 1t. You have become
the paraphraser of the oft-abused ad-
age The Lord helps those who help
themselves" Your way of thinking is
the men love girls who love them
selves. But some day you will find you
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Loretta's Looking Glass

pleasure in being engaged" The nov
city Of going about, being coupled off
with a man who is yours, has gone.
There is an engaged couple" kind Of
being taken for granted by four friends
that irritates your vanity. 1t is no par
ticular fun to go to parties. for all the
men know you belong; and they like
the man we'll enough to vespect his
possession. The excitement Of winning
him Is waning. He Is so much in love
that the necessity for keeping his
love" does not spur you up. You have
made all the lace-trimmed lingerie you
can possibly need. Your eyes are be-
ginning to feel the strain of embroid-
ering blouses and monogramming
The Washington times., 1911-08-02

IVES. you are tired OF waiting-for
I the man. Not for a man TO come
out of the mysterious unknown
and claim you. But for a real, clearly
materialized, red-blooded piece of mas
culinity to make enough money to
marry you! And It is two years since
you felt the first thrill Of love-and
pride in being engaged. He is fine,
earnest fellow with a healthy appetite
for a good time. But he is starving
his hunger for fun because he is hope
full Of being able to earn and to save
enough to feed his heart hunger with
YOU.
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Golden Spangles
From HumOr'S Skirt
ENGLISH Joke FOR TODAY

'Heady" Exhibitor at R. A.-And-
ah-do you like our little show as we'll
as the salon In Paris. mademoiselle?
Visitor-Oh, much, much bettaire.
Exhibitor-Really7 I'm delighted. And
why, particularly
Visitor-There is much less pic
chaires Punch.
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Apples From the
HumOr Tree
SAME TILT OF HEAD

Miss Sweet-You seem to enjoy the
asparagus. Count.
Count de Mon thoushtlessly)-ies .
YES. I was once what you call re sword
swallower.
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
In His Line

Who was that man I had for a part.
ner at bridge last night?
He is a comic dramatist."
Il might have known it."
''Why?''
He made some mighty funny plays. 81
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
mighty funny plays. d
More Sympathetic

II see that Spouter made his first
appearance as an actor the other
night Did you attend the perform
ance2"
mo, but visited him at the hos
pital yesterday"
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Stumbled BY Us

They say that English beer Is th'
finest in the world.
II, don't see why the trip from Ane
ica should improve it to that extent
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
A Freshet Town

where are you from2"
"Plunkville."
And what sort of a place is Punk
ville?"
Venice of America, sir. We have
about four feet of water in the streets
every spring"
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
What II Is

Teacher-Now, Charles, can you de-
scribe an island?
Charles-Yes, ma'an. An island is q
place a feller mustn't leave without
a boat-'les he can swim like blazesi
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Germs of Humor
To Be Carried Along
NEEDED CLOTHES

hear your wife is confined to the
house"
Yes"
What does the doctor say7"
I'VE haven't engaged a doctor. The
promises to have her out
in about four days"
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Moods Vary

Yes. environment does lnnuence U.s.
How now?'
..you never see a man coming out OF
church with his hat perched on the side
of his head"
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Sandy and Jock; Or,
Abaft the Heather

"a typical Scotch story, redolent OF
the heather, dedicated to Andrew Car
negie and Harry Lauder.)
"Hoot, monr'
At the familiar exclamation Jenny
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Real Distress

my poor little man, whatever are
YOU crying so bitterly fort
"Boo-hoo! I've been playing truant
all day and now find we've been haV-
ing a holiday.
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Our Grocery Clerk
Saws, The Dear Kids

A brisk trade in corn on the ear was
expected by the boss this week. but
somehow or other it didn't pan out
right at first. The corn looked nifty,
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
All Bosh

rs a fat man necessarily uncomfort-
able in warm weather.
He is II he listens to all the remarks
his friends make about him"
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
The Reason

..Iu work no more for that man
Smith"
And why?"
ON account Of a remark he made"
What was it?'' $50,
He said, Bill, you're discharged.
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Natural

IT understand you and your husband
have a Joint banking account"
Yes. He puts the money in and !
draw II out"
The Washington times., 1911-08-02

beauty less of illusion and familiarity glimpse
behind lifted the from his love and
spite her the left desolate lonely world
1t hard believe it, Hard o think that to
whom the whole world should the
yet believe 1t 10 very often
The Call of Real Love
Sometimes the pretty tempted by the of having
signing for her. shutting her the call of the real
love- slips till day she finds herself stripped of her
power the crowdng about beauty
and she slips that position which is always bitter the position
the whom T wonder she married."
perhaps makes the deeply
Or she and then find that simmer Of
pride of winning her other suitors that
who her husband all the bonds
understanding mutual endeavor and lacking
la tragedy and bitter years lie ahead.
Or the of her beauty cling
of admirers admirers homage accepts
habit yet whose bring
quarrel and whispered innuendoes
And maybe, after ALL isn't of the
fairy much unless win besides the magic gift of
intellect win the fairy prince and-hold him
The Washington times., 1911-08-02

e that young fellow fxin his tie in front o the slot
machine, Belle? Don't he look if he'd been lifted
bodily from the clothing ad in the back pages of
a magazine?
Belle, if anybody tries to intr'duce that young
man to you, turn up your retrousse nose as far as
nature hasn't beat you to it, looking inquirin1y up
and down the street and then suddenly dash off as
if you'd spotted partcu'y long lost friend Belle,
that young man ever has in his pockets is keys and
the extent of his sportin' blood consists in pur-
chasin one plain soda with two straws And when
il comes to haYin' any original IDEAS. why. he's
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
4 WINNING Coming

Edith-Mamma, sumfng dreolui mas
happened.
Mamma-What is It, sweetheart!
Edith-Mv new dolly ran away from
me- and broke a plate in the pantry.
The Washington times., 1911-08-02

D be as pretty the princess in the fairy tale
has always been the desire of every wistful eyed
little girl dreaming away the long summer days.
hasn't t7
To be beautiful has seemed always to be
boon that would make up for everything else and
in the pursuit of that elusive charm scores of
women yearly expend time and money, and heart
and soul-sometimes successfully, more often not.
But when they dreamed of being the fairy
princess there always prince-a prince who
loved them and made them happy. But in reality
the beautiful girl-at least of them says
can never be sure of her prince because her
The Washington times., 1911-08-02

MacCree turned. She was standing in
the heather. 1t was Sandy who had
spoken.
Ma bonnie lassie,' said Sandy ten
Derby, "wull ye marry me? Hoot, mon.
Let us get spliced the moo"
AVA said Jenny. Yer but q
BARN. love your brither Jock. Hoot
mon"
You dinna ken just had a fight WI
ma brither Jock over you?"
''Hoot, mon!' she cried. "whur's
Jock?"
doom in the well. At the vera bot
tom, ma bonnie Jen. whur I tossed
him. Hoot. monr'
'Dead?" cried Jenny. And Sandy re-
piled softly: "Verra, vera dead"
And SO. to get in the family at all,
Jenny had to marry Sandy. Hoot, mont
The Washington times., 1911-08-02
Wouldn't Get Much

Wouldn't Get Much
"Why are you eating such a hearty
meal?"
I've been invited to a chafing dish
supper"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
Boycott
at Fort Russell is
Broken by Blizzard

CHEYENNE, Wyo., Nov. 13-(special.)
The boycott against the Cheyenne Elec-
tric street cars was broken during the re-
cent blizzard, when fifteen soldiers
boarded the cars near the boulevard after
battling In vain against the snow and
high wind. The soldiers said they would
rather take the punishment meted out by
he kangaroo court at Fort Russell than
run the risk OF freezing to death ON the
prairie. This is the first time since the
boycott was established last July that
any considerable number OF soldiers has
used the cars. In a few isolated cases
officers and enlisted men have ridden on
the cars, only to be met at the post by
representatives of the kangaroo court.
The trials and convictions and innictinR
OF punishment required but little time,
and the sentence OF the court was usually
so severe that the offending officer on
enlisted man did not care TO use the cars
again soon.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14

Congress Meets in
Kansas City Tuesday

KANSAS CITY, Mo-, Nov. 1S-An
preliminary arrangements for the annual
meeting OF the Transmisslssippi CONNER
cial congress, which meets here tomor-
row. have been completed, and hundreds
of delegates have already reached the
city.
Features OF the opening day will be ad-
dresses by Nelson w. Aldrich, chairman
OF the National Monetary commisslon
Henry l.. Stimson, secretary of war. and
G.. M. Hitchcock, United States senator
from Nebraska, all Of whom will speak at
the afternoon session. w e. Borah
United States senator from Idaho. will
speak tomorrow night.
One of the important questions to be
considered by the congress this year will
be the Improvement of the inland water
ways of the country. River men from all
over the United States viii attend.
Four Indian pages, Sioux. a Grow. a
Pueblo and a Navajo, nave been appointed
to serve on the floor OF Convention hall,
where the meetings Of the congress will
be held. Prominent Indians will be on
many Of the delegations and will make
addresses. Senator owen of Oklahoma,
who has Cherokee blood in his veins, will
be one OF the principal speakers.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
President Confers
with Wickersham
About Trust Laws

WASHINGTON. Nov. ls.-President
Taft today discussed with Attorney Gen
eral Wickersham the sdvis.h.ity OF
supplemental antitrust legislation at the
pomifi8 AeKsidif of cbhsfess. The con-
florence related particularly TO the like.
iihood OF passing federal incorpora-
ton act.
II was pointed out that a provision OF
this kind might be made TO allow cor
porations whose method OF doing bust
ness was in Violation OF the Sherman
antitrust law 10 reorganize under a fed
eral act
II is known that the president has In
mind renewing his recommendation
along these lines in his message to con-
gress. Senator smoot today expressed
the opinion that 1t will be impossible
to pass any antitrust Legislation what
ever at the coming session.
Senator Smoot said he believed that
proposed currency reform legislation was
in about the same position and he
doubted seriously the Aldrlch plan would
be adopted now. Tariff legislgtion was
sure TO be passed and he expected TO
see the WOOL cotton and metal schedules
revised,
Wednesday the president will go Ia
Frederick Md, to address the AS
ISOLATED Boards of Trade OF the state,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
Health Department
May Intervene in
New York Strike

NEW YORK, Nov. 1S-If the garbage
gatherers' strike is not broken today the
Health department will step In TO save
New York from the evil effects OF some
1890 cart-loads OF refuse that has ac-
cumulated since the men who drive the
street cleaning departments wagons quit
work, because they objected 70 night
hours.
Fear of the strikers and their friends
has kept professional strike breakers
from accepting the high wages the city
offers for substitutes and dread OF the
teamsters' union has prevented contrac-
tors from bidding 20 perform the work
usually done by the city department
Actually the Health department inte--
vened today when its men took oui
several hundred barrels of disinfectart
TO sprinkle on the piles Of rotting garbngS
In the poorer and more thiclSly populated
districts.
Tho police believe the severe clubbings
Administered to some of the big mobs
that gathered yesterday have taught the
strike sympathizers lesson Although
yesterdays riots were the most extern
sive the police have had TO cope with since
the strike began, there were No fatili-
ties and few hospital cases and the num-
ber of arrests have been remarkably
small
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
Bankers Suggest
Minor Changes in
Proposed New Law

CHICAGO, Nov. 1a-Minor changes in
the national banking laws were dis
cussed in meetings by members of the
United States Monetary commission and
bankers Of the iflIddle-west, which ended
here today. Tie re-codification plans are
now complete, It was said, and in shape
in which they will he presented to con-
gress. The changes agreed on here, 1t is
understood. applied chiefly to the admin
stratiye feature of the law and out lined
more distinctly the duties of the comp
trolier of the currency.
Former Senator Nelson w. Aldrich cut
his stay a day shorter than the meeting
called for and departed for Kansas City
to address a meeting Of the trans -Nissis-
sippl Commercial congress tomorrow
night. Other men, 9rs OF the commission
departed for their homes.
Among the out of town bankers who
met with the commission were John Nc
Hugh, First National bank Sioux City
Ia, Arthur Reynolds. Des Moines Ma
tional bank, Des Moines; Luther Drake
Merchants National bank, Omaha, and
S. II. Durham. First National bank. Lin
coin. Neb.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
FORTY SEVEN In DANGER
Steamer Washington Being Driven
Closer to Rocks Off Astoria.
TWO OF CREW SWEPT AWAY
There ia Little Hope for ANY ON
Heard Easesas ssarm Allatss -,
\ ~ ana Lifesavers caH
work. igs "-

ASTORIA, Ore, Nov i3.-Crippled and
drifting before a southwest gale with a
furious sea running the. steam schooner
Washington, Portland TO San Francisco
with forty-seven persons aboard ap-
parently is doomed to destruction on the
beach between Cape disappointment and
North Head Just outside the Columbia
river bar The fate OF its twenty-five
passengers and crew OF twenty-three
men is in doubt, Already two OF It's crew
have been washed overheard and
drowned and the United states life saw
ings crews are not hopeful that any of
those on board the vessel will be saved.
An effort to reach the craft with life
lines or boats has failed. Unless II drifts
close enough In to permit lines being
shot over II, the ships company is
doomed The sea is literally boiling and
TO launch the life boats would be sui
cidal.
The Washington got into the breakers
while outward bound early last night.
II is deep I'm the water and evidently
leaking so badly that It's fires are out.
The anchors are dragging slowly, and
under the eyes OF the helpless life savers
the ship is edging steadily near destruc-
ton on the beach.
Several tugs which went TO the scene
from this port were unable to render
assistance.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
Cases Of Mrs. Quinn
and Mrs. Vermilya
Go to Grand Jury

CHICAGO, Nov. l3-The November
grand jury was sworn IN today before
Judge NJ. NJ. Gridley. Among the cases
which It viii investigate are those OF Mrs.
Louise Vermilya and Mrs. John Quinn,
both of whom are being held In the
county jail
Mrs. Louise Vermilya. accused OF the
murder OF Arthur Blssonette. has ordered
the sale Of an her household goods. the
bulk of her other personal property and
surrendered the lease OF her apartments
at 4l5 East Twenty-ninth street
The accused woman told the attend
ants at the county jail hospital. where
she Is patient, that the sale Of her be-
iongings was necessary In order that she
might raise money for her defense. ..e
owner Of the building In which she lived,
4 Is said. demanded the surrender OF the
lease because Of the notoriety which has
been attracted 60 the premises by the
poKce investigation.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
Peoria Hotel Burned;
One Fireman Killed

PEORIA. ILL.,. Nov. ls,-At s:i5 o'clock
this morning the fire department had
the flames under control, but was still
plying several streams on the remains
OF the National hotel, the largest hotel
In the city, which was destroyed last
night al II o'clock,
Chester MoobeTey, fireman Of No. T.
was instantly killed by the falling Of the
smokestack in the rear part OF the build
ing. He was a single man.
That none OF the guests was killed OF
seriously injured, owing TO the lateness
OF the hour Is a miracle.
Robert B. Collins, a New York travel
ing salesman. slept two hours during the
progress Of the fire and was rescued Will
some difficulty from the third floor. He
appeared at the window aud seemed
dazed. not knowing what had happened
and disappeared. A few minuter later d
ladder was sent up and the firemen as
sisted him down the ladder IN bis nigh
clothes.
The loss is estimated at $4,000, covered
By insurance,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
Aviator Rodgers is
Still Unconscious

PASADENA. Cal, Nov 1S.-suffering
from concussion OF the brain and stIll
unconscious Aviator Galbraith p. Rodgers
today was unable TO tell anything re-
gardIng the accident which nearly cost
his life while he was trying to complete
his ocean-to-ocean flight.
There has been nothing but surmise so
far 10 account Tor the mishap through
which he lost control Of his aeToplane
while flying through the darkness and
plunged l25 feet down upon a plowed
field near Compton, half way between
Los Angeles and Long Beach
DR.. Mattison said he expected Rodgers
to recover. Rodgers Is being attended
constantly by his wife and mother.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
Police Say Papineau's
Confession is a Fake

CHICAGO, Nov. l3-Police Inspector
Revere, after a thorough Investigation
-oday said he was prepared TO dis
credit the confession Of George c. Papin-
eau. made at 81. Joseph, Mo-. in which
papineau said he murdered man named
William Blake In Chicago last June.
''Papineau told the Blake murder story
in order TO be brought back TO Chicago
and escape trial and possible punishment
at st. Joseph said Inspector Revere.
The police said they had learned that
IN June s--the date OF the alleged muir
ler-Papineau was found overcome by
he heat on the North Side and was taken
% a hospital by the police department.
Inspector Revere said that Papineau will
not be brought back to Chicago.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
Mrs. Larson Flatly
COntradicts Charges
Made Against Her

NoRTHWooD, la, Nov. l3-Mrs. Eta
Lsrssn charged with the attempted
poisoning OF her father, Douglas Roden-
baugh. a wealthy cattle man, declared
today that the charge was a conspiracy
to wreck the futures Of herself and her
husband. Christian Larson. she entered
a flat contradiction Of oil the evidence
previously introduced by the prosecution,
including that OF Marion Rodenbaugh.
her sister, her father and mother and
brother.
Mrs. Larson took the stand in her own
behalf, when Judge Clyde opened court
this morning aud remained under the
cross fire OF questions much OF the day,
Answering her attorneys, the defendant
declared with considerable emphasis that
she had written none OF the ten letters
In which threats had been made against
Marion Rodenbaugh, II she told the
authorities OF poison plot.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
Two Women and
Little Girl Murdered
in Brooklyn Home

NEW YORK, Nov. 13-Mrs. Mary Lo-
faro, her 5-year-old daughter. Bosie. and
her mother. Mrs. Antoinette Zerana, were
murdered in their home I'm Brooklyn to-
day. The crime was committed with a
revolver, each victim being shot through
the forehead. An infant unhurt and
slumbering in a curtained cradle in the
room was later found by Adolph Iofaro,
husband OF one of the slain women
when, shortly after noon, he came home.
He told the police that he found no wea-
pom. Twenty -four dollars, which his wife
had placed In a china closet, was missing
he said, but nothing else.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
CHICAGO GIRL SHOT BY
SWEETHEART IS DEAD

CHICAGO. Nov. las-Mlss Bertha At
wood 20 years old, who is supposed TO
have come to Chicago from New Orleans
and who is believed 20 have had sister
is ST. Louis. died In a hospital here to-
day, the result OF having been shot IN
the neck last Monday by her sweetheart.
William J. Crush. Crush committed
suicide directly after he had shot the
young woman. The shooting is said TO
have followed Miss Atwood's refusal to
marry Crush.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-11-14
RIVERS FROZEN
OVER EARLIEST ON RECORD

LA CROSSE. Wis. Nov. l3-The Black
and La Crosse rivers here froze over
during the night. and the Mississippi,
while not entirely closed. 10 partially
frozen owed. This IL the earlist closing
OF the river ON record here. The tenn
perature today stood at above zero,
marking one Of the coolest November
days In years.