davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26

room, but Uncle Peter insisted upon
hearing more about those dreamland
gold mines.
"Tve got the documents and every
thing to prove that my claim is all the
goods" Skinsh ratified on. "All it
needs is the capital to work it and it's
a bonanza, sure-isn't it, Dodey-I
mean Flo!"
"You betcher sweet" she an
swered, whereupon Peaches and Aunt
Martha had a fit of coughing which
lasted three minutes.
Then Uncle Peter coaxed Skinski
off in a corner and there they hob
nobbed for fifteen minutes while my
wife and her aunt and l tried to get
cheerful and chatty with Aunt Flo,"
but we only succeeded in dragging
from her four reluctant "You betcher
sweetest"
Presently Uncle Peter and Skinsh
shook hanss about something, and
five minutes later Bunch's relatives"
took their departure to the accompani-
ment of much internal applause on my
part.
'.dr. MCGOWAN is very accom-
plished gentleman" Uncle Peter de-
cided; "but handicapped by most
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26

pleading voice. It's a catchy jest, all
right, and it's making me laugh. The
way you two ducks josh each other is
pitiful, but your secret is safe with
me, Manager. | won't make no bad
breaks, and Dodo won't ever open her
talk-trap. She never talks off the
stage. On the stage, say! she has the
most elegant line OF language that
ever left the pipes. Leave it all to
me, Manager, and I'll see that the Nc
Gowan family makes an awful hit with
your fireside companions"
And Skinsh kept his word.
He skilfully led Uncle Peter around
to q discussion of sleight-of-hand, and
two minutes later the Wonder Work
er was dragging the coal shovel and
the vinegar cruet out of the mayors
inside pockets, to the intense mysti-
ication and delight of the old gentle
man.
Uncle Peter was wearing small
diamond pin in his cravat and quite
by accident the setting became loose
and the stone dropped to the floor
The old gentleman became very
much concerned about it and we all
started to look for it.
Wait minute!" said Skinski;
"the spark fell in your left-hand vest
pocket"
Uncle Peter looked at him blankly
Impossible, why there's nothing
there but this box of quinine pills for
my cold"
open it." said skinski, and Uncle
Peter did so.
How many of those do you usually
take in a day." asked Skinsh.
-Four" replied the puzzled old
gentleman.
Drop four of them in your left
hand" ordered Skinski.
Uncle Peters right hand trembled
bit, with the result that five of the
quinines fell into his left hand.
'Tf you counted money the way you
count pills you'd quit loser" chuckled
Skinski. Put four of those dizzy
Why's back in the box"
The old gentleman did so.
Now take your penkn1fe and open
the pid you didn't put back" COM
manded Skinski.
Uncle Peter obeyed instructions,
and he nearly choked with astonish-
ment when his diamond came to view.
1t was a neat bit of work and Skin
ski became a solid success with Uncle
Peter.
did l understand you to say, Mr..
MCGOWAN, that you are a commission
merchant in Springfield, Ohio?" the
mayor asked Skinski when the APP
plause had subsidized.
I'm a used to was" Skinski cor
rected. There was a time when I
commished for fair, but the boyle
man caught me and I lose all had.
Since then I've been trying to sell a
gold mine 1 own out in the Blue
Hills"
1 tried to sidetrack Skinski and
lead him away from the smoking
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26
NEAT EATERS ARE MERRIEST
London Doctors Think Flesh Diet
Tends to Joyous temperament
Vegetarians Laugh Less.

London.-H you would always DO
merry and bright you should eat plen-
ty of meat The influence of diet ON
temperament was raised in a recent
lecture by Prof. Henry. He said
that the Chinese, Japanese and Kor>
cans, who refrained altogether from
the use of milk, cheese and butter,
laughter, but the Thibetans, who were
partial to these commodities, were
a mirth loving, merry race.
DR.. Talbot McCarltey said that In
his experience men and women who
lived on milk and butter, cheese, and
ed than people who enjoyed good,
hearty meals of meat
Meat eating" he added, makes a
nation warlike and fierce, it develops
the animal side Of man, and it there
fore acts upon him as wine, makes
him happy and full of spirits. Meat
eaters should certainly be the merry
men of the nation.
"Vegetarians and those who live
on milk, cheese and butter are more
serious minded and generally better
mentally equipped then flesh eaters,
but they haven't the courage and war
like propensities of their meat eating
brothers.
'One can undoubtedly alter ones
temperament lot by altering ones
diet, but heredity must always play
large part in such things"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26

saved us the hardship of ringing the
bell. Oh! he's a thoughtful relative,
Bunch is"
Clara J. looked at me, 1 looked at
Skinski, he looked at Dodo. and she
looked at the piano and said thought
fully, You betcher sweet"
THE idea of Bunch coming to our
front door and then rushing off again
without seeing anybody" gasped
Peaches, what does it mean?"
alice lives only half a mile away
and possibly Bunch was running be-
hind his schedule" I suggested,
Just then Aunt Martha and Uncle
Peter came in the parIor, and present
Iy grabbed a chance to say a few
words TO Skinsh on the side:
If my family circle ever gets wise
that you and the Queen of Laughter
over there are excess baggage it'll be
to the cabbage patch for mine" I
whispered.
Pm on" Skinski whispered back.
Never a break from yours mysteri-
ously. believe me. We wouldn't have
come out at all if your partner hadn't
insisted. He was so hot to have us
butt in here and hand your heart 8
fut.er that l just couldn't resist his
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26

we began to see the neighbors sit up
and notice us, and we figured on about
$1,000 opening.
THE show will cost us about $50
day." Bunch financed, with a stran-
gle hold on a big green lead pencil
Lets see! expenses say $500 a week
at the outside. Now, let's strike low
average and say we play to $500 a
night; that's $4,000 a week, and tive
matinees at, say 5000, that's $4,000 on
the week, eh, Jean! That gives us a
clean profit of $1,000 apiece for the
three of us--oh, aces!"
'It looks good to me, Bunch" /
agreed, and then we went out and or
6ered some more three-sheets and a
flock of snipe.
We spent the whole day in New
Rochelle, and 1 reached home tired,
but enthusiastic
"John," said Clara ]. when we were
alone after dinner, Uncle Peter says
II you will let him have that $4,000
by Thursday or Friday he will in
vest it where the returns will be enor-
mous!"
"Sure," I answered, and l could feel
my ears getting pale; "Pll hand it
over to him Thursday or Friday-if
you think it's best not to invest it In
that new house"
ooh! 1 really do" she hurried
back. "You know Uncle Peter is SO
careful and so clever with his invest.
ments. He told me in strictest conf,
dence only this morning that he would
more than double your money in six
months. Isn't that perfectly splen.
did,"
rs that the wonderful secret you
threatened me with?" l asked mourn,
fully.
ooh, mol" she replied; II can't tell
you that till Wednesday evening"
promised not to-"
I guess 1 didn't sleep very well that
night, for l had dreams of Uncle Peter
chasing me with club all over a the,
alter and making ne hop every seat
in the orchestra, while Ma'moiselle
Dodo sat perched on the balcony rail
and screamed, you betcher sweet"
Copyright, G. w. Dillingham; Coz
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26
Philadelphia Believes 1t Has
Champion Long Distance
Performer.
James Welsh, Who In His Spare Mo
ments Is Engaged as Bartender,
Thumps instrument for 80
Hours and As Minutes.

PHILADELPHIA they are
willing to put the club itself in "hock"
to prove the right of their fellow-mem-
Der, James Welsh, to the title of long
distance piano player of the world,
members of the Rising Sun Social
have issued a challenge to any
piano player who considers him
self in the Marathon class to meet
their star in open contest. The Ris-
ing Sun will back their man in any
amount from $500 to $4,000
At a recent exhibition meet Welsh
proved his right to the confidence
which has been placed in him. Sitting
down to the piano at nine o'clock in
the evening, his fingers pursued the
worries without pause until 3:45 o'clock
in the morning of the second day
thereafter, 80 hours and 45 minutes.
When the applause had finished, Will
liam Wunder, manager and discov-
erer of the prodigy, announced that
Welsh had beaten by 80 minutes the
record established recently by Lewis
Thorpe, of Bethlehem, whose time was
80 hours and Is minutes. On behalf
of the club Wunder announced the
society's willingness as body to back
Welsh to meet all corners for the
long distance championship Of the
world
Wunder, when not engaged in work
as an impresario, tends bar in saloon
near Eleventh street and Germantown
avenue. He said that he is a firm be-
lever in Oscar Hammerstein's latest
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26
Catch 1oo-Year.oId Turtle.

Four hundred years ago, according
to estimates, Indians, with their crude
fishing devices, might have tried to
catch large turtle that appeared at
times in the Chesapeake bay; but 1t
eluded generation after generation of
red men, white men, sailors and oys-
ter fishers until few days ago, when
it was finally captured and sent to a
fish merchant in Homestead 1t will
make soup for 100 persons or more.
The turtle, weighing BIT pounds and
measuring nearly five feet in diam
eter across its shell, was captured in
the Choptank river, near Choptank,
Nd, and created sensation in that
town. According to the owner, there
are 1900 barnacles on its she'll
Pittsburg Post.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26
Remarkable Discovery of Frenchman
Expected to Make Revolution In
PrIce-Its Advantages.

Paris.-A remarkable discovery,
which. it is believed, will make a
revolution in electric lighting is an
nounced by young French scientist,
M. Dussaud, and is making a great
sensation among experts By its
means it is asserted that illumination
can be produced at one-fftieth part
of the cost at present necessary.
M. Dussaud's invention consists
partly in the repeated interruption
of low voltage current for frac-
ton of second each time. At each
cutoff the lamp rests for an infn-
itesimal period, so short that the eye
receives the impression of continuous
light, but long enough to allow the
filament to cool. Combined with this
intermittent current small lamps
about an inch in diameter are
used, with a f1lament of tungstenate,
which offers very little resistance to
the current, and yet gives a light
thirteen and a half times greater
than any of the lamps now on the
market
The consequence OF the alternate
heating and cooling of the filament is
that the lamp remains practically
cold, the surface never rising above
40 degrees centigrade. 1t can there
fore be placed as close as is desired
to the condenser Of an optical In
strument, thus enormously increasing
the light With a low current light
of 10,000-candle power, 1t is said, can
easily be obtained with suitable ap-
naratus. Cinematograph films of the
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26

Dinner was nearly over at Uncle
Peters villa In Ruraldene when sud
denly the doorbell rang violently and
two minutes later the servant an
nounced that Mr.. and Mrs. Cornelius
MCGOWAN were in the parlor
1 knew! They were really Skinski
and Dodo. engaged by us to go on the
road with their sketch, and had once
introduced them as Bunchs relatives.
Bunch was getting back!
First I decided to faint; then I
changed my mind and tried to figure
out which would be the most cruelty
effective way of killing Bunch Jeffer,
son.
Uncle Peter resented the unexpected
arrival of these strangers, because he
wanted to sit around and have the
home folks tell him how sick he was.
I'D like to know what Bunch JEFF
fersOn means by sending his relatives
over to us on a Sunday evening" my
wifes uncle snapped. why doesn't
he worry old Bill Grey with them, Ell?
It's bad enough for me to have to
sneeze my head off before my own
people, but I'll be dod bimmed if I'm
going to sit around the parlor and
play solos on my bronchial tubes for
the edifcation of strangers-no. sir!"
Uncle Peter shifted off to his apart
ments, and Peaches said she'd try to
entertain the visitors.
I concluded to help her some.
Skinski arose from the sofa and
greeted us with his most elaborate
bow
Mamoseue Dodo didn't Society very
much
She sat in the middle of the room
and sang soft lullabys to hold-over.
MIR. Jefferson, my nephew" Skin
ski was saying, insisted that we
should hit the suburban trail and To-
cate your shack Here's a note from
nephew Bunch for you"
Sllinsh handed me the note with
face as solemn as a monkey-wrench,
and read it:
City, Sunday P. M.
Dear John.-I send herewith the two
rosebuds. AS a favor to your old pal
please treat my beloved relatives with
every consideration and make a fuss over
them. You know you told them in the
restaurant to come and see you. They
want to make good and will stay week
II you insist.
With kindest regards,
BUNCH.
P. S-Don't drag Aunt Flora into any
literary discussions-she might hand you
something Her favorit author is Pom
eroy Sec, the chap who writes all those
frothy books. B.
81 wish you could have seen our
place in the daytime" Peaches was
saying to Skinsh when l finished
reading Bunch's get-back. eve think
it's delightful cut here. Did you have
much trouble Il finding the placer"
Nav, ady fair" Skinski replied;
mo trouble at all. Nephew Bunch
came as far as the front door with u.s."
What" exclaimed the astonished
Peaches.
Yes" Skinsh concluded; 'he even
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26
BEST PIANO PLAYER
all za11slt
ZHE OLHNzPyc

maxim, that the success Of a star de-
ponds half on talent and half on pub
licity."
The secret of Welsh's success in long
distance piano playing lies in what his
manager terms "song-history music :"
According to the latter, man who
plays the same piece of music over
and over every half hour, which he
will naturally do, if his imagination
is not logged, tires himself by the
repetition To obviate this, Wunder
has instructed his protege in system
in which song history" is the key
note and repetition a minor chord
Welsh takes his seat in front of the
piano and casts his mind back to the
days "befo' the wah" Negro music
floats into his mind, and for nearly an
hour he plays plantation songs. When
his manager believes that this is be-
ginning to touch his nervous system,
he nudges his elbow and whispers:
"The war" Instantly from Welsh's
fingers come the martial strains of
Marching Through Georgia" and 9TH
ers of The same type. In this way he
plays his way through every decade
with its different types Of popular
songs, from the days when 1.-TWO Lit
tie Girls in Blue" We'd for popularity
with after the Ball." right down to
the up-to-the-minute Don't Wake Me,
I'm Dreaming of You" Several hours
are taken up with this varied program,
and when the time comes to repeat it
the players nerves are unaffected by
constant repetition. Wunder says that
by his method Of patent Marathon pi-
ano playing his protege will be able
to play without break for 60 hours.
Wunder tells story of how he dis
covered the latest acquisition to the
ranks of musical prodigies. Entering
a saloon in the neighborhood of Fifth
and Somerset streets, one night, to in
quire the time, he heard the strains
of a piano being played in the back
room. The "flawless technique" at
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26

depressing wife; most depressing The
Blue Hills, eh!l the Blue Hills! Now,
| wonder"
Then he began to whistle softly and
went into the diningro
Monday morning, bright and early,
met Bunch, and we buried the
Ratchet.
Il hope my beloved relatives didn't
disgrace me while sojourning in your
midst" he chuckled
mot at ALL" | answered airily.
why, Uncle Cornelius was the hit Of
the season with Uncle Peter, though,
of course, Aunt Flora didn't make
good with that You betcher SWEET
monologue of hers. How could she?
Even at that she stands better with
me than some conversational queens
know who get so busy with the CAB
they make me dizzy"
About noon Bunch and l ducked for
New Rochelle to do bit of advance
work for our show
Nobody knew us in the town, so we
posed as Cameron & Connolly, own
ers of the Great Hall of Illusions,
and managers of the world wonder
and Magic king, Signor Beppo etro-
skinski, and Ma'moselle Dodo, the
Oriental queen of mystery.
Pretty hot line of goods, Ell?
We handed out the salve thing to
all the paper lads and they were for
us good and plenty.
After our publicity department had
been in operation for about four hoHrF
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26
rr.asure for Royal Library.

London.-A number of important
historical manuscripts, the property
of the late Sir Thomas Phillips, have
inst been secured for the royal IL
brary at Windsor Castle. including
folio volume (1364-5) containing the
account of all the aids levied for the
ransom of King John Of France, who
was taken prisoner by the English at
Poitiers. Trcn this money Windsor
castle was rebuilt.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26

tracted his trained ear, and he went in
to question the player. The bond OF
music cemented a friendship, which
resulted in the piano player becoming
a member of the Rising Sun Social
and being taken under the wing of the
man who, in his behalf, now issues a
challenge to the world, backed by
every cent owned by the hundred and
odd members of the club.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26
May Break Law for $50 ~.

Buffalo, N. Y.-The city court hos
decided that man is justified ~
stretching the speed limit a littla -
reach shelter before an approacbino
shower spells his wife's new $50 hat
This was the excuse given Judga
Judge by Frank Rautens, a local ero
Ger. The defendant was released IN
a suspended sentence. ~
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26
Original Star spanoIed a.n

Baltimore.-The original star-bar.
gled banner that inspired Key to write
the anthem, will be unfurled over az
ramparts of Fort Henry on sente s-o
Der II. the anniversary If the haiti
of North Point. OaeelS
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26
Experienced.

"She is a poem"
"In four cantos.
why do you say four cantos?"
shes been married four times"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-07-26

why do you applaud the lsdy mon
ologist with such fervor?"
MY dear fellow, she isn't wearing
a harem skirt"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-11-26
METHODISTS TO MEET in
BAINBRIDGE WEDNESDAY

Americas delegates TO the forty-titth
annual session of the South Georgia
Conference, which assembled this
week in cambridge. will leave tomor-
TOW afternoon Tor the South Georgia
city Rev. o. B. Chester will attend the
session, as will several representa-
Itives members of the Americas church
A special car will be attached to the
|2:15 Central train from Americas TO-
morrow for the comfort and conven-
fence of ministers and delegates going
to the conference.
This has been a great year in the
First Methodist church of Americas,
which closes today.
This morning at l / o'clock Mr.. Ches-
ter will preach upon the theme THE
Sublimest Moment in the Life OF
Earths Sublimest Man" At the service
tonight the names of members who
have died during the church year will
be read with appropriate comments,
There should be a full attendance
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-11-26
BETTER THAN SPANKING.

Spanking does not cure children OF
bed wetting. There is a constitution
al cause for this trouble. Mrs. NJ
Summers, Box w, Notre Dame, Ind
will send free to any mother her sue
eessful home treatment, with full in
gtructions. Send no money, but write
her today if your children trouble you
in this way. Don't blame the child
he chances are it can't help it. This
treatment also cures adults and agec
people troubled with urine difticultie!
day or night.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-11-26
15C SUITING NOW 10C YARD.

lac StITING NOW l0t lA8n.
A large lot OF fancy sUitings III
many colors and parerns ofswocl
finish goods See this lot of Spec
ials
25C FINE FANCY SUITINGS I5C YD.
Beautiful highly mercerized fine
suitings in & great variety Of
styles and patterns. While they
last 10 go at at l5c yard.
soc WOOL GOODS. NOW 25C YARD.
For just half price We ere put
ting out about so pieces of fine
wool goods. In this lot are fancy
Mohairs, Henriettas, 36-inch Pop
Inns and Cashmeres i'm great
assortment of colors.
MEMS SOC HEAVY UNDERWEAR
$50 EACH
Extra heavy fleece lined shirts
and drawers, in brown Jaeger and
fine ribbed underwear in blue only
for BIC garment.
SOC NEGLIGEE SHIRTS Bot.
Mems regular SOC dress shirts
in novelties and staples to go no"
for Soc Nice, clean, new goods
See them.
NEWS SAMPLE GLOVES 1.3 OFF.
A great line of samples in mems
work gloves in many feathers
The prices range from 25c to $14S
pair for Acc to $500 values.
50 MEMS COATS Csc EACH
A lot of small sizes in large
boys and small mems odd coats,
worth up to $500 They are great
values 81 rfy IL
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-11-26
CHRISTMAS HAS come
AT The KRESS STORE
Christmas Opening Was Held
Yesterday

AS one walked yesterday from the
crisp and clear wintry air outside into
the Kress store rooms, the varied
Christmas decorations seen on every
hanl completed the feeling of the ap-
preaching holidays that is now I'M
pressing itself on the careful shopper
every day.
The glitter and sparkle of the Christ
mas trees in the electric lights, the
big red swinging Christmas bells and
green wreaths, with the varied array
of toys, dolls, novelties and scores OF
things that Santa Claus will buy make
the Kress store the center for Christ
mas good things one month in advance
of that widely anticipated day.
And the wonderful candy display at
Kress' was never more inviting and
irrastible. There is every kind of
candy that young and old can wish,
daintily and attractiveIy packaged.
Every bit of it is handled too, with
the utmost care and cleanliness, in
such a manner as only the Kress, sys-
TEN has been able to evolve after years
of experience in handling candies at
popular prices.
Like all other progressive merchants
the Kress management believes i'll
early Christmas shopping. And the
shoppers showed yesterday how ready
they are to take advantage of every
opportunity afforded them for secur-
ing the best and most attractive Christ
mas bargains before Christmas day by
thronging the Kress store during the
day. Henceforward Christmas goods
will be on sale at kress' every day.
and every shopper is urged to take ad-
vantage of the many bargains offered.