The herald., 1911-04-13
An Unfortunate
Encomium
By EDWARD IGLEHART
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation. 1911.

thing, but as soon as it becomes con
scious it breeds vanity, and vanity is
the mother of "A large brood of troubles
My wife and mysclf-we are both
yans-belung To the older aristocracy
of New York. None Of our ancestors
would have thought of associating
with the ancestors of persons who are
now in the swim and to whose circle
we were not admitted. They care
nothing about our ancestors, though
many of them have heard Of my IA
ther, who was a distinguished com
modore in the navy, and my wife's
grandmother, who was a celebrated
New York belle. The places once oc-
| cupied by these worthy people are
now filled with the descendants Of
those who sold them oysters and fish
and whose wealth runs away up into
the millions.
But my wife and | were happy IN
til certain remark was repeated to
her. One of our old family cOnnec-
tons who owns a box I'm the diamond
| hOrseshoe"-so called from being that
gallery of the Metropolitan Opera
| House occupied by the multimillion-
aires-gave us the use of it for one
! night. The favor nearly caused our
ruin. Soon after that night at the
opera Gertrude's cousin, who gave US
the box, said to my wife:
''The Earl OF Chapperton, recently
from London, asked me who was the
lady in my box on Thursday night.
saying at the same time: She's the
most beautiful woman l ever saw.
London could not furnish anything
equal to herr"
The remark was not only repeated TO
my wife, but was talked about at ev-
cry function held by the golden set.
1t finally came TO Gertrude, added to
in this wise: what a pity that Mrs
Van valkenburg doesn't take the 20,
sition in society that half a century
ago was occupied by her grandmother,
the beautiful Betty Van Wyke."
From that moment my dear wife got
the society bee in her bonnet "OuI
family has always kept up in the
world till the present generation" she
said. I'VE have $4,000 a year, and
on that we could get on in society
Connections of ours in the swim would
introduce us. and our especial associ
ates would be of the older aristocratiC
set who are not so rich as these new
commercial people"
my dear" protested, "our $4,000
income would not keep US In the swim
q month"
mot with your management" she
retorted, but a woman can always
make money go further than a man
Let me try. 1 will show you what
can do"
Like a fool l was persuaded. NJ
wife had no trouble in penetrating thu
society skirmish line because Of tn,
remark Of the Earl Of Chapperton
which was on every ones lips. She re
ceived a number Of invitations, bu
found that she must make consider
able outlay for costumes before sh,
could accept any Of them. And since
the costumes she must rival cost al
the way from several hundred to sew
eral thousand dollars, and she mus
have a different costume for eacl
function, the amount soon ran up to ;
third of our total income. Since on
ordinary necessary expenditures re
Quired the other two-thirds, 1t was evi
dent we would soon run upon tn
rocks. But what is the one matter o
q woman's costumes, expensive though
they be, compared with the THOUSAND
and one other luxuries that must b
provided by people Of fashion. On
dinner alone we felt obliged to Civ
cost US $500, and 1t was considere'
plain at that.
We permeated the outer social lin
and were making some Roadway int
the inner circle. We were both disar
pointed in discovering that we must b
civil to a number of the wives of youn
multimillionaires who had Marie
actresses, and my wife had discovere,
that society was not composed Of sue
persons as her grandmother had shon
among. Then something happene'
that called a halt to our advance.
A certain Mrs. Van Valkenburf
whose income was some 100000
year and who was as homely as
hedge fence, caused 1t to be given on
for a consideration, the price bein
Invitations to certain social climbers {
her soirees-that a mistake had bee
made in reporting Earl Chapperton'
remark as to the most beautiful won
an in New York. The Mrs. Van Va
kenburg referred to was the lad.
with the 100000 income.
Everybody sneered, but as all VI
derst0od that to gainsay this edic
would cost them the enmity Of on
Of the most powerful women in Ne'
York society no one dared to lis
q word to the contrary. The eal
had returned to England and was NJ
to be even questioned on the subjec
The moment his lordship's complimer
was appropriated by another my viii
ceased to be an object Of curiosit
and, as she had no other claim to /
admitted to society, was dropped. b
sides, any further attention to her we
sure to be resented by the other Mr.
Van Valkenburg.
When the battle was over / disco
cred that we had eaten upon our ca
ital sufficiently to reduce our incon
one-half. was thankful that we WEI
beaten of before all was exhausted.
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