davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
Can't .IIdne hN the MnicA

One of the duties of certain clerk
In a Philadelphia drug store is to tel
ephone advertisements to a certain
newspaper. About the softest voice
that the clerk ever heard is always
at the other end Of the wire.
After he had phoned a dozen times
or 50 he began to get a little more
familiar, and after that he carried on
quite a Irritation with the stranger In
the newspaper office.
By and by he sent around candy, a
box a week. The soft voice would
always tell him how good it was the
next day, and this was compensation
enough. But he longed to see the pes
SCISSOR Of the voice. He said so, but
the owner told him he would have to
be satisfied with hearing the voice
1t was a mighty soft voice.
The other day the clerk took the sit
uation into his own hands and drop
ped into the newspaper office. He
asked a red-headed, freckIed kid at
the switchboard who took down the
ads?
II do" SAID Reddy.
And beside all else, the clerk had
spent $6.75 for candy!
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
LOVE AND THE AEROPLANE
Some Good Advice for Those Daring
MortaIs Who Would Do Their
Counting Aloft.

Secure a nice roomy aeroplane, and
place in it an old-fashioned sofa or
armchair. Then put the girl in, get
in yourself and turn On the power
Do not be in any hurry. Get far
enough up SO that you can be preoc-
cupied for few moments without
landing
1t Is just as well to strap the girl
In. She can't get away, of course, but
you can kiss a girl in an aeroplane
much easier if she is firmly secured.
Always keep one hand on the steer
ing apparatus and the other on the
girl; but if worst comes to worst, let
go the steering apparatus.
The following schedule, If adhered
to, will prevent ordinary accidents:
Five hundred feet up, hold girls
hand
Six hundred feet up, arm around her
waist
Seven hundred feet, drop everything
and hold girl, working steering appa-
ratus with both feet
Be careful, when you alight, not to
come down near church. In the ex-
element of the occasion you may for
get yourself and marry the girl.
Many fatal accidents have resulted in
this manneT-2uck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
Thair laet Hone Gone

When the minister praised the rasp-
berry jam at Mrs. Green's bountiful
Saturday night supper, he could not
imagine why Angie and Horatio, the
twins, gazed at him so reproachfully.
Don't you like raspberry jam, my lit
tie MANI" he asked Horatio.
Yes, sir, l do" and Angie does"
said Horatio, in distinctly resentfuI
tones, "and mother told us that she
was afraid the last she made wasn't
quite up to the mark, and if you didn't
praise 1t, Angie and I could have it for
luncheon on our bread, for Mrs. Willis
and Mrs. Shedd never said a word
when they ate it, and you've made the
third; but now she'll use it for the
church sociabIes," and Horatio looked
gloomily at his twin, who returned the
look in kind-Youth's Companion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
FINDS S165 IN MICE NEST
New York Man Receivers Money
Saved by Wife Who Died
Several Years Ago.

Port Jervis, n. Y.-James Babcock
was hunting about his cellar for a
piece of stove pipe when he found
hidden in an opening in the wall an
old coffee pot, filed with loose paper.
in which mice had made a nest. In
cleaning the vessel he was surprised
to find several pay envelopes he had
received from the Delaware & Hud-
son company when he was Waterman
for that corporation some years ago.
They we're yellow with age, but in
each he found bill in a good state of
preservation, and on counting them
found they amounted to $165.
The money evidently had been
saved by his wife from his monthly
wages. She died u years ago, and
$500 was found deposited by her in
New York city bank, which she had
set aside from her husbands earn
ings.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
FINDS OLD WHITTIER POEMS
Samuel T. Richard Says "WhoIe Nest"
Revealed by Study of Periodical
Poet Edited.

Amesbury, Mass.-Samuel T. Pick
ard, the biographer of John Greenleaf
Whittier, and now living in the old
Whittier home here, tells of his re-
cent discovery of a whole nest of
poems by Whittier, never before rec
ognized as his"
In commenting on his study of a
volume Of the New England Review
of 183O-31, Mr.. Pickard says:
while it was edited by Whittier, 1
find much that has escaped me htth-
erto. 1 have found a whole nest of
poems by Whittier never before rec
ognized as his. The signature was the
odd one 'Feramorz.'
81 find the 'Feramorz' poems are
Whittier's, and that he used this sig
nature before and after he became
editor of the Review"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
"SDife Fences in Gotham

cost $500, but it made Goldstein happy.
This Harlem fence, with it's height Of
66 feet, held the record for altitude
for three years. It was ecIipsed some
what more than a year ago by the
brick fence, or, more properly, wall,
So feet nine inches high, built by the
American Lithographic company
around the rear courtyard Of its big
printing house at the southeast corner
Of Fourth avenue and Nineteenth
street. The wall efectuaIly blankets
the windows Of the history business
builoi1g erected on the site Of the old
Hotel Belyedere, next door.
It is built in the form of 2 triangle,
one side being 90 feet long and the
other "a The wall Is Of skeleton
steel frame construction, anchored to
the main south VAL OF the printing
house and filed with a curtain of
brickvork a foot thick. It cost $500
to build The only public explanation
given for its erection was that it
would serve as "ars stop"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
STORY OF A GOOSE
MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE
AND REMARKABLE RESCUE.
Fowl Tumbles Down Well, is Seized
by q Snake and Then Gigantic
Hawk Appears on
Scene.

At Mount Lebanon in Bienv1lle par
ish. Louisiana there was maintained
during the Civil war laboratory for
the preparation of medicines to be
used in the Confederate service To
supply the water needed deep well
was dug. After the war al the build
ings Connected with the laboratory
were destroyed by fire and the wei
remained yawning and uncurbed.
Thus for many years 1t remained, Tor
no one used it and it was no ones
business to I'll it or to cover 1t over
A pine wood grew up about 1t ano
the we'll long served as pittau Tor
animals that strayed in that dlrec-
ton. When a COW or q pig or any
other animal disappeared from the
neighboring town it was commonly
remarked that the animal was at
the bottom of the well, and that was
the last said about it.
One day a fine goose which be
longed to a well-known man in the
vicinity strayed off in the morning
and In the evening her brood of Cos
lings came cheeping back without
her. 1t was surmised that the goose
might have fallen into the well.
Two days afterward the owner of
the goose, rife in hand, on. his way to
join a hunting party, passed near the
old well and noticed that a large
hawk appeared to be greatly interes-
ted in something that was going on
in the well. The hawk circled round
and round above the opening, Owed
into it, reappeared screaming and
went down again. After succession
Of such movements the hawk finally
emerged from the well with a great
white load in his talons.
1t was the missing goose, and the
goose, to its owners establishment,
had a long black snake hanging from
her beak. A shot from the rife
brought the trio to earth and the man
set about solving the mystery.
The snake appeared to have attemp-
ted to swallow the goose, head first,
for her beak was sticking in his
throat so that he could not get away,
nor could she get rid of him. Evident
" after her fall down the we'll the
goose had found a foothoId on a bit Of
curb1ng and had there been attacked
by the snake, with the singular re
suit described. In that predicament
she had been bounced upon by the
hawk
The owner killed the snake, bagged
the hawk and restored the goose to
the bosom of her grateful family, for
she was little the worse for her ex-
traordinary series Of adventures.
The hawk was a pretty big fellow,
measuring almost five feet from tip to
tip of its outstretched wings.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
STUBBORN ECZEMA ON HANDS

Some nine years ago I noticed
small pimples breaking out On the
back of my hands. They became very
irritating, and gradually became
worse, so that I could not sleep at
night. I consulted a physician who
treated me a long time, but it got
worse, and could not put my hands
in water. / was treated at the hos
pital, and it was just the same. I was
told that 1t was a very bad case of
eczema. Well, I just kept on using
everything that l could for nearly
eight years until l was advised to try
Cuticura Ointment. I did so, and I
found after a few applications and by
bandaging my hands we'll up that the
burning sensations were disappearing,
l could sleep well, and did not have
any itching during the night. began
after while to use Cuticura Soap for
a wash for them, and think by using
the Soap and Ointment l was much
benefited. I stuck to the Cuticura
treatment, and thought if 1 could use
other remedies for over seven years
with no result, and after only having
a few applications and finding ease
from Cuticura Ointment, I thought it
deserved a fair trial with a severe
and stubborn case. I used the ONT
ment and Soap for nearly six months,
and I am glad to say that ] have
hands as clear as anyone.
at is my wish that you publish this
letter to all the world, and if anyone
doubts it, let them write me and I
will give them the name of my physf-
clan, also the hospital I was treated
at" (Signed) Miss Mary A Bentley.
SO University ST., Montreal, Que.
Sept. IA, 1910.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12

GUS. 1t was evident from the pre-
amble that something was coming.
ITO understand. Kit" he went on
obviously" you would have to know
her. She won't stand for divorce. She
thinks it is a crime"
What" I sat up. I have always
regarded divorce as essentially dis
agreeable, like castor oil, but neces-
saTy.
"Oh, you know we'll enough what
I'm driving at" he burst out savagely
She doesn't know Bella has gone. She
thinks I am living in little domestic
heaven, and-she is coming to night
to hear me flap my wings
Tonight"
I don't think Jimmy had known that
Dallas Brown had come in and was
listening, am sure I had not. Hear
ing his chuckle at the doorway
brought US up with jerk.
Where has Aunt Selma been for
the last two or three years?" he asked
easily.
Jim turned, and his face frightened.
Europe. Look here, Dial. you're a
smart chap. She'll only be here about
four hours. Can't you think of some
way to get me out of this? I want
to let her down easy, too. I'm mighty
fond of Aunt Selma. Can't we-can't
l say Bella has headache?"
'Rotten!" laconicalIy.
Gone out Of town." jim was des-
perate.
And you with a houseful OF dinner
guests. Try again, jim"
I have it," Jim said suddenly. DIAL
las, ask Anne if she won't play host
ess for tonight Be Mrs. Wilson pro
TEN. Anne would love it. Aunt Selma
never saw Bella. Then. afterward,
next year, when I'm hung in the
Academy and can stand on my feet
t''Not if you're hung," Dallas inter
jected@-'I'H break the truth to her"
But Dallas was not enthusiastic.
Anne wouldn't do at ALL" he de-
clared. Shed be talking about the
kids before she knew it. and patting
ne on the head" He said it COM
placently; Anne firts, but they are
really devoted
"One of the Mercer girIs?" I sug-
gested but Jimmy raised a Mortified
hand.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12

whence Jimmy derived the Wilson in
come.
Jim himself was too worried to be
cautious. He waved a brazen hand
at the snug room, at the japanese
prints on the walls, at the rugs, at the
teakwood cabinets and the screen in
laid with pearl and ivory
"AlI this" he said COMPREHENSIVE
every bite I eat, clothes I wear
drinks I drink-yOu needn't look like
that; I don't drink so darned much
everything comes from Aunt Selma
buttons" he fSished with a groan.
Selma Buttons" I said refectiveIy.
L don't remember ever having known
any one named Buttons, although I
had a cat once"
Damn the cat!" he said rudely.
Her name isn't Buttons. Her name
is Caruthers, my Aunt Selma Caruth-
ers, and the money comes from but
tons"
ooh" feebly.
Its an old business" he went on,
with something Of proprietary pride
My grandfather founded it in 1775.
Made buttons for the Continental
army"
"Oh, yes" said. "They melted the
buttons to make bullets, didn't they?
Or they melted bullets to make but
tons? Which was it?"
But again he interrupted
It's like this" he went on hurried
". Aunt Selma believes in me. She
likes pictures, and she wanted me to
paint, if 1 could. I'd have given up
long ago-oh 1 know what you think
|, of my workout for Aunt Selma. She
has encouraged me, and she's done
more than that; she's paid the bills"
Dear Aunt Selma" I breathed.
/! when I got married" jim persist
ed, Aunt Selma doubled my allow
ance. I always expected to sell some
thing, and begin to make money, and
in the meantime what she advanced l
considered as a loan" He was eying
me defantly, but I was growing seri-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12

YOU don't know Aunt Selma. IA
protested. L coui64't offer Leila ii
the gown she's got on, unless she
were a Shawl and Betty is too fair
Anne came in just then. and the
whole story had to be told again to
her. She was ecstatic She said it
was good enough for a play, and that
Of course she would be Mrs Jimmy
for that length of time
You know" she finished, IF it
were not for Dial, I would be Mrs
Jimmy for any length of time / have
been devoted to you for years. Bill
ken"
But Dallas refused peremptorily.
I'm not jealous" he explained,
Strengthening and throwing out his
chest, "but-weIl, you don't look the
part, Anne. You'Ie-you are grow
ing matronly, not but what you suit
me all right. And then I'd forget and
call you nanny which would re-
quiTe explanation. I think it's up to
you, Kit"
I shall no nothing of the sort!"
snapped. It's ridiculous!"
q dare you" said Dallas.
refused I stood like a rock while
the storm surged around me, and beat
over me. I must say for Jim that he
was merely pathetic He said that
my happiness was first; that he would
not give me an uncomfortable minute
for anything on earth; and that Bella
had been perfectly right to leave him,
because he was a sinking ship, and de-
served to be turned out penniless into
the world. After which mixed figure,
he poured himself something to drink,
| and his hands were shaking.
Dial and Anne stood on each side Of
him and patted him on the shoulders,
and glared across at me. I felt that
if I was rock, Jim's ship had struck
on me and was sinking, as he said, be-
cause of me. I began to crumble.
''What-what time does she leave?"
I asked, wavering.
Ten: nine; Kit, are you going to
do it?"
mol" I gave last clutch at my
resolution. People who do that kind
of thing always get into trouble. She
might miss her train. She's almost
certain to miss her train
You're temporizing," Dallas said
sternly. I'VE won't let her miss her
train; you can be sure of that"
Jim" Anne broke in suddenly,
hasn't she a picture of Bella. There's
not the faintest resemblance between
Bella and Kit"
jim became downcast again. Il
sent her a miniature of Bella a couple
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12

Of years ago." he said despondently.
Did it myself"
But Dial said he remembered the
miniature, and it looked more like me
than Bella, anyhow. So we were just
where we started. And down inside
of me I had a premOnition that I was
going to do just what they wanted me
to do, and get into all sorts of trouble,
and not be thanked for it after all.
Which was entirely correct. And then
Leila Mercer came and banged at the
door and said that dinner had been
announced ages ago and that every
body was furnishing. With the hurry
and stress, and poor Jim's distracted
face, l weakened.
81 feel like a cross between an idiot
and a criminal" I said shortly, land
l don't know particularly why every
one thinks I should be the victim for
the sacrifice. But if you will prom
Use to get her off early to her train
and if you will stand by me and not
leave me alone with her, II might
try it"
of course, Wen stand by you!" they
said in chorus. I'VE won't let you
stick" And Dial said, You're the
right sort of girl, Kit. And after it's
al over, you'll realize that it's the
biggest kind Of lark. Think how you
are saving the old lady's feelings.
! When you are an elderly person your
se.f, Kit, you will appreciate what
you are doing tonight"
Yes, they said they would stand by
me, and that I was a heroine and the
only person there clever enough to
act the part, and that they wouldn't
let me stick I am not bitter now, but
that is what they promised. Oh, l
an not defending myself; l suppose I
deserved everything that happened.
But they told me that she would be
there only between trains. and that
she was deaf, and that I had an op-
portunity to save a fellow-being from
ruin. So in the end I capitulated
When they opened the door into the
living room, Max Reed had arrived
and was helping to hide decanter
and glasses, and somebody said a cab
was at the door.
And that was the way it began
CTO BE CONTINUED
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
OLD MARINE CHART

terror of Arabia there is only Mocha
or Mecca surmounted by a flag; in
Syria only Damascus, and to the south
of it the holy sepulcher. Spain and
Italy, with Corsica, Sicily and Sardinia,
as well as the minor islands, are care
fully drawn and denominated with ex-
actness.
Only the best-known cities appear in
Spain, France and Italy, such as Santi-
ago and Segura, Paris and Avignon,
Florence and Venice. The Alps and
the Pyrenees have been left out. Eng
land and Ireland are imperfectly
marked, and so is Scandinavia.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
One IS Feet High Blankets Windows
of 12-Story suiiding-Serves as
"Fire Stop"

New York-Skyscrap fences may
be found on the upper West side and
on the upper East side, on Fourth ave
nue.. in the new retail district, and on
Fifth avenue, in Millionaire row. How
some of them came to be built may be
inferred from this story Of citizen OF
Harlem named Harry Goldstein. He
lives at the corner of Manhattan ave-
nue. and One Hundred and Nineteenth
street. in low brick house. Directly
in back of him a tall fat building
rears its bulk skyward Goldstein
conceived a dislike for the tenants in
the fiat building and for the general
appearance of the hulking rear extern
sion itself Complaints did no good;
he could not alter the fat building
and he did not want to move. So he
built on the rear Of his lot a CORFU
gated iron fence, IS feet high and 1874
feet wide, which effaced the objection
able outlook completely The fence
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
Society to Oppose Rudeness,

Berlin.-The Society for the En-
couragement of Politeness held its
first meeting. Miss Meyan, the found
er, reported 800 members, and said
branches had beer established in
Dresden and Leipsic. The object Of
the society is to facilitate public inter
course. Its motto is DO as you would
be done by" Monthly meetings are to
be held whereat instances of rudeness
in public can be brought to notice and
discussed. The Berlin school .authori-
ties have promised their active SUD-
port to the movement.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
ExcusabLe Confusion

One who CONSTITUTES strictly the
words which are found in ancient
story and song may not infrequentIy
read into the text meaning exactly
opposite to that the writer attempted
to convey. A little study of some OF
these words almost convinces one that
black may be white, and vice versa,
1t is related that in the panic of 1857
a Frerchman in New York said he
feared he should lose all his 'propri-
sty We smile at this. and yet we
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
Chicago GETS Bio BufIdino.

New York-It has been announced
here by the contractors in charge that
Chicago is to have the biggest Office
building in the world in point of area.
The building is to be known as the In
surance exchange, and will contain
more than eight hundred thousand
square feet of floor space. Construc-
ton costs will be approximately
$4,000,000, which, added to the cost
Of the land and the carrying charges,
will represent a total investment of
s8,000,000. Under the contract the
builders must finish their work by
March I, 1912. The largest Office build
ing in the world at present is the
Twin Hudson Terminal building ip
this city.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12

learn that ''propriety" and property
have exactly the same French deriva-
ton. We hear one speak of an 'anec-
dote' and know that a short, diverting
story is referred to. Etymologically
it means something as yet unpub-
lished To prevent, which is now to
hinder, meant in its Latin original to
anticipate. A girl was ancientIy
young person Of either sex. Paradise.
IN Oriental tongue, meant only a royal
ark A knave was once merely a lad
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
Unique Undertaking.

Running a store on the honesty
system" is to be undertaken by the
farmers of Stony Ford Grange Mid
jIeton, N. Y. a stock viii be sup
lied and when a member wishes to
1btain anything therefrom he viii
entrusted with the key Of the
Eorerom and whatever he takes he
III make a note of and leave the
ice If he takes more than he
ares the money for. he viii not be
sted second time.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
In the Old DAYS.

Eve had just tied a garland of
maple leaves about her ankles.
what on earth are you up to, my
iove?" asked Adam.
81 am trying on my new hobble-
skirt, sweetheart" returned the part
ner of his joys with a sweet SMILE
Harper's Weekly.
And it sometimes happens that
man likes to have his wife get SO mad
she won't speak to him-then she win
not ask him for money
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
Cold Snap Kills Cana

Lebanon, Conn.-Fox hunters report
that thousands of the quail, grouse and
pheasants with which this section ha
been recently stocked have been kiIle.
by the recent cold snap. Ten tho
sand dollars worth of imported Huf
garian pheasants distributed last We
are all gone, and shooting prospec
are very poor for another year
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12
II Worked Well.

How Is the new filing system ?
success?" asked the agent of the mer-
chant to whom he had sold System"
q few days before.
Great" said the merchant.
Good" said the agent, rubbing bis
hands. And how is business?"
'Business?" echoed the merchant
"Oh, we have stopped business TO al
tend to the fling system"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-12

and villain a peasant. To be silly
was, in its ancient sense, to be
blessed. An idiot was a private citf
zen, as distinguished from an Office
holder. much the same as in the pres,
ent day. Shame-faced comes from a
good Anglo-Saxon term which means
not one exhibiting shame. but one pro
tected by shame. being therefore limo
cent and modest