davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
ENTERED IN LONG CONTEST
Farmers Explanation of Matters
Proved That He Had a Strong
Sense of Humor.

A farmer was chasing an escaped
pig along the highroad. The animal
was putting him far to the rear. A
neighbor, passing In a buggy, came
to a stop, turned to watch the pur'
suit, roaring with laughter. Don't
you want to borrow my horse and bug
gy?" he cried.
The farmer seemed incensed by this
pleasantly and drew himself up as II
to make an angry reply. But he
thought better of It, Over his face
crept a look of stolid good nature. He
perched on the fence and kicked the
dust from his boots.
Its a powerful firing race" he be
gan in a tone that invited friendly
conversation.
well, l guess it is. You'd better
wait and take a train and head him off
at some way station during the night"
He's still falling farther behind
me-" drawled the farmer. But I'm
afraid he's begun to get his second
wind. Still l don't think he can catch
me. do your"
Behind you! Catch you? Well,
hardly, going that way"
That's what l think. You see, this
is one of them round-theworld races
that automobiles talk about. He's a
whole lap behind me, except for the
few rods that he seems to be ahead
of ne. All that surprises me is the
way he can keep up the trail being so
far behind.
ooh, there, see he's losing it now
going through that gap into pota-
to patch. l want to be fair, so If
you'll excuse me, I'll run down and
lap him, and steer him right. -
Youths Companion.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Hens in good health having access
to the dust bath will usually keep
free from lice The house should be
swept clean every morning.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Seas Pound ST. Helena.

If the sea were to break on the
shores of Coney Island in time Of
calm weather with the same force as
It does on the shores of ST. Helena
sections of South Brooklyn would be
uninhabitable in all likelihood. They
have at st. Helena what are known as
calemmas, or heavy rollers. Those
rollers are particularly bad in time
of calm weather. They strike the
island with such tremendous force
that the spray is sent over Goat
Pound ridge, which is several feet
above sea level. Scientists are of
opinion the calemmas are caused by
seismic disturbances beneath the
ocean.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
BUSINESS WOMEN
A Lunch Fit for a King.

An active and successful young
lady tells her food experience:
Some years ago I suffered from
nervous prostration, induced by con-
tinuous brain strain and improper
food, added to great grief.
81 was ordered to give up my work,
as there was great danger of my mind
falling me altogether. My stomach
was in bad condition nervous dyspep-
STA, 1 think now) and when Grape
Nuts food was recommended to me,
had no faith in it. However, tried
1t, and soon there was a marked i'm
provement in my condition.
'I had been troubled with faint
spells, and had used a stimulant to
revive me. l found that by eating
Grape-Nuts at such times l was re-
lieved and suffered no bad effects,
which was great gain. AS to my
other troubles-nervous prostration,
dyspepsia, etc.-on the Grape-Nuts diet
they soon disappeared.
Il wish especially to call the atten-
ton Of office girls to the great benefit
1 derived from the use of Grape-Nuts
as a noon luncheon. was thoroughly
tired of cheap restaurants and ordin-
airy lunches, and so made the expert
Dent of taking package of Grape
Nuts food with me, and then slipping
out at noon and getting a nickels
worth Of sweet cream to add to it.
Il found that this simple dish, fin.
ished off with an apple, peach, orange,
or bunch Of grapes made lunch fit
for king, and one that agreed with
me perfectly.
81 throve so on my Grape-N Nuts diet
that l did not have to give up my work
at all, and in the two years have had
only four lost days charged up against
me.
LET me add that your suggestions
in the little book, Road to Wellvflle,'
are, In my opinion, invaluable, espe
cially to women" Name given by
Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich.
Read "The Road to Wellville" in
pkgs.
There's a Reason"
Ever read the above letterf A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full of humaA
interest.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Mineral Waters,

Nearly seven atllions of dollsss,
s6,S94,134, for sales of mineral waters
in the United States in 1909, says
the United States Geological Survey,
a slight increase over the figures Of
1908. The quantity sold was 64,674,-
4S6 gallons, at an average retail price
of II cents a gallon. In addition
over 100000 gallons was estimated
to have been used in the manufacture
of soft drinks. There has been a
steady increase in the production Of
five years, the figures for 1885 being
1,312,S45 gallons. The value of the
imports of mineral water in 1909 was
$1,0S5,177, with an average of 81
cents a gallon.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Draooinu Their Hosiery,

Little Arlene was familiar with the
appearance of the garden hose at
home, but when she observed line of
fire hose, with it's great length and
bulk lying serpent-like in the street,
she Immediately inquired what 1t was.
Her mother replied that was firemen's
hose, and the child went on watching
the fire.
In the meantime two additional fire
companies dashed up, and these newly
arrived fire fighters were carrying
their respective lines toward the burn
ing building, when little Arlene spied
them.
ooh, mamma" she cried, craning
her neck out of the crowd, here
comes more f1remen dragging their
hosiery behind them!"-Lippincott's.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

good fortune to hear Of Doan's Kidney
Pills and under their use l gradually
grew better The frequent flow OF the
urine was corrected, the brickish sedi-
ment and gravel disappeared and the
color became natural. I recommend
Doan's Kidney Pills in the highest
terms"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price SOC.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. 7.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

In most all branches of business
competition is generally recognized az
a great stimulant, but in the creamery
business it has been overdone.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Market Hoqs Much Lighter.

The average weight Of hogs market
ed in recent years Is much lighter
than in former years; in the decade
1s70-1s7s the average weight Of hogs
killed during the winter months in
western packing centers was about
275 pounds; in the decade 1sS0-1S89
about 257 pounds; in the decade 1890
1899 about 239 pounds, and in the
past decade 100000 about 21S
pounds In other words, hogs mar
keted between 30 and 40 years ago
averaged one-fourth heavier than
those marketed in recent wears.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

down on you
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
The Second Dimension,

1t was on a little branch railway
in a southern state that the New
England woman ventured to refer to
the high rates. at seems to me five
cents a mile Is extortion," she said.
with frankness. to her southern cou-
sin.
Its a big lot of money to pay il
you think of it by the mile" said
the southerner, in her soft drawl;
but you just think how cheap 1t Is
by the hour, Cousin Annie-only
about thirty-f1ve cents" - Youths
Companion.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Australia Rich In Libraries.

Victoria's (Australia) five hundredth
free library was opened lately. One
and all of the older libraries are well
patronized The gross revenue re-
ceived by them in the aggregate from
halls, members subscriptions. and
grants is about $4,000. There are
about million books in these libra
ries, and 1t was claimed that some
thing like 100000 visits are paid to
them in the year. While works of f1c-
ton are read to the greatest extent,
general literature and history receive
a good deal of attention.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Very Select.

The landlady was trying to impress
the prospective ledger with an idea OF
how extremely eligible the neighbor-
hood was Pointing over the way at
fine mansion, she said in hushed
whisper:
Young man, over there across the
street there's seven million dollars!"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Appalling Excuse.

This is the fifth time you have
been brought before me this term"
said the Judge, frowning severely upon
the prisoner at the bar.
Yes, your honor" said the prisoner.
You know a man is judged by the
company he keeps, and l like to be
seen talkin' to your honor for the
sake of me credit"
All right" said the judge. Officer,
take this man over to the island and
tell them to give him a credit of 30
days."-Harper's Weekly.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
An Astonished Boy.

In February of this year Wiscon-
sin farmer took his twelve-year-old boy
to a village for the first time. and
there the lad saw train of cars. He
was so aston1shed at the sight that he
lost the power Of speech for three
weeks.
If that youngster is ever taken to
circus or a geological garden he'll
surely be struck dumb for the rest Of
his life. His fathers farm must be
hidden away in hole in the ground.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
STRANGE Children.

George Bancroft, the historian,
used to relate with gusto joke that
he caught while trotting to school
along a Massachusetts country road
1t was about old Levi Lincoln. says
Percy H Epler in Master Minds at
the Commonwealth Heart"
The old gentleman was nearly
blind. A flock of geese was being
driven gobbling up Lincoln street.
Leaning far out of the carriage, the
fine old aristocrat. thinking they were
children, threw out handful OF pen
MES. graciously exclaiming:
God bless you. my children!"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
SHAKE INTO YOUR SHOES

Aliens Foot Sc. the anti eptio powder It's the
greatest comfort discovery of the age Aliens Foot
Ma So makes tight or new shoes feel easy. 1t is a
certain relief for sweating callous, swollen tired,
sching feet. Alwaysus 1t to Break in New shoes
Try it today. Sold everywhere, rs cents. Don't
accept any substitute. For BRBH trial package,
address Allen s. Olmsted. Le Roy. N z.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
The Universal Pet.

Everybody must have pet. If you
haven't a baby, you must at least own
a dog. II it isn't a dog. it may be
cat or a kitten. In other lands it may
be a monkey. | have even known OF
those who have alligators as pets
little ones, of course Perhaps this
explains why, on a single Sunday, 40,
900 men, women and children, princi-
pally children, will flock into the Zoo
logical garden at Bronx park in tie
northern part of New York city. This
may explain, too, why, in sin9ie
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Steady,

Steady.
THAT boy of yours must be pretty
we'll grown by this time"
'In his junior year at college"
as he ever inclined to be wild2"
mo; they say he's the steadiest
southpaw the team ever had
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Test of Social Standing

Tcst OF 0UVTdI 0tdIIuTTIS'
Old Porkenlarrd-Sh! My wife has
q pearl necklace concealed in her
bonneti
Customs Inspector-Huh?
Old Porkenlarrd-Don't overlook It,
that's all. She wants to get her name
in the papers as a society leaderi-
Puck.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Decidedly, Yes.

did you ever rlaM IN Hamlet? in
ouii ed a theatrical manager of re
cent acquisition TO his company.
"Eyerl" exclaimed the newcomer.
"vVhy. I've played in every hamlet
of Great n!"-Tit-Bits.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
DISTEMP PER

In all its forms among all ages of horses,
az well as dogs, cured and others in same
stable prevented from having the disease
with SPOHN'S DISTEMPER CURE.
Every bottle guaranteed. Over 900, 900
bottles sold last year $50 and SlOO. Any
good druggist or send to manufacturers.
Agents wanted Spohn Medical Co., Spec.
Contagious Diseases. Goshen, Ind.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Getting On.

"Well, little boy, did you go to the
circus the other day."
"Yes'm Pa wanted to go, so | had
to 20 with him"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
The Nluht Shift.

Positive Wife-John, why do you
talk in your sleep? Have you any
idea?
Negative Husband-So as not to
forget how, l suppose. It's the only
chance | get!-Puck.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

calendar year nearly one million and
a half visitors at the park take time
and do it with pleasure-to visit
what is known as the finest geological
exhibit as we'll as the largest in the
vor,d.-Harriet Quimby, in Leslie's.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
PRIVILEGE.

Visitor-Why don't you get out OF
this town? You can never make a
success in this dull hole.
Native-No, but | can always tell
what l could have done elsewhere If
I'd ever have gone away.-Puck.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

on the skin, showing
plainly that l had
dropsy. Whenever I
caught cold, l lost
control of the kidney
secretions. My ply
stefan stated nothing
would save me but an
operation. 1t was my
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
For COLDS and GRIP

Hicks CAPUDINE is the best remedy-re-
lieves the aching and feverishness-cures the
Cold and restores normal conditions. It's
liaufd-effects Immediately l0c., 25c., and 5Oc-
At drug stores
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
EarcicaI,

rs all the world a stage?" asked the
meditative man.
I'D hate to think so" said the base
ball fan. There is no realism in a
stage game of baseball"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Takinu No Chances.

Visitor-And you always did your
daring robberies single handed? Why
didn't you have pal? Prisoner
Well, sir, l wuz afraid be might turn
out to be dishonest
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

If thou knowest anything good Of
man. tell 1t unto others; II anything
Ill, tell it privately and prudently to
himself.-Burkitt.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Wise-Do you see that striking look
Ing woman with the veil.
Howe-Yes
Wise-Do you know why she wears
the veil?
Howe-No. Homely?
Wise-No; she's afraid the sun
might blister the paint.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
The Real Reason,

81 am going to to send you my little
kitten to keep you company"
"How good Of you"
Don't mention it. Besides, we are
moving"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

glad I did, for it has cured me.
81 know of so many cases where wo-
men have been cured by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound that can
say to every suffering woman if that
medicine does not help her, there Is
nothing that williams. JANETzKL
1903 Arch ST., Chicago, Ill.
This is the age of substitution, and
women who want cure should insist
upon Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound just as this woman did, and
not accept something else on which the
druggist can make little more profit.
Women who are passing through this
critical period or who are suffering
from any of those distressing Ills Pc
culiar to their sex should not lose sight
of the fact that for thirty years Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,
which is made from roots and herbs,
has been the standard remedy for fe-
male ills. In almost every community
you will find women who have been
restored to health by Lydia E. Pink.
hams Vegetable Compound.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Ask a favor of an enemy and you
will probably make a friend; ask Of
friend you may make an enemy
Marnaduke.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

To save man, give him good
friends or bitter enemies; these by
love and those by their hate to keep
him from evil ng.-Antisthenes.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Agreement among good men is
friendship, among bad men con-
spiracy.-Sallust.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Health is the greatest gift, content
edness the best riches.-Dhamman-
ana.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Garfield Tea corrects constipation by
arousing the digestive organs to their in
tended activity. Composed of Herbs.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
DRoPSY.
How q Terrible Case Was Cured After
Doctors Treatment Failed.

Michael ]. Sharp, 139 Maryland Ave-,
Rosebank, N. Y, says: II had in
tense pains through my back and
my feet swelled 80 1 could hardly
walk. The slightest touch left mark
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

The happiness of our lives depends
much less on the actual value OF the
work done than on the spirit in which
we do it.-Prince Leopold.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets first put up
40 years ago. They regulate and invigor
ate, stomach. liver and bowels. Sugar
coated tiny granules.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Remember, there is a limit TO hui
man endurance. The friends who
stand up for you may tire in the
course Of time and proceed to sit
down on you.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Who hath not known misfortune
never knew himself or his own vir,
tue-Mallet.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

After her third engagement q girl
begins to appear anxious.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Mrs Wfnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces inhamna-
ton, allays pain. cures wind colic Csc a bottle.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

It's difficult to discourage girl who
can't sing.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
I've SaIye In AseDtfc Tubes

Prevents Infection-Murine Eye Salve
In Tubes for all Eye Ills. No Morphine.
Ask Druggists for New Size $50. Val
liable Eye Book in Each Package.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

TO DRIVE OUT MALARIA ,,,,
AND BUILD UP THE SYSTEM
Take the Old sta ard GROVES TASTH1 ESS
GHILL Tonic. You know What you are taxing sai11s
showing 1t is simply Quinine and Iron In a taste
less form. The .Quinine drives out the malaria ia
and the iron builds mp the system Sold Dy al
dealers for 80 years. Price 80 cents.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

The most inhuman measures are
often employed for breaking up" hens
that nature prompts to set when their
owners don't want them to.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Its Ire ajment,

What do you think ought to be
done about this frenzied SURGERY"
81 think we ought to give it homeo-
pathic treatment.
How SOP"
"Cut it out
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Grading of cream is receiving more
attention by the dairy press and dairy
men than it possibly ever has in the
history of the dairy business.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Start afresh this Spring cleanse and
purify the system by a course of Garfield
Tea, Herb laxative and blood-puriter.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Hie ,Ioh

Collie-So your job here is to catch
and hold all the tramps who come on
the place. Isn't that hard job?
Bulldog-Well, l consider it some
thing of snap.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Out of the Hare.
Here's hairpin in the soup, wait
err" said the mad diner.
YES, sir. It's all right It's hare
soup, sir"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
important to Mothers
Hypnotic.

Hypnotic.
Margaret think Mr.. Baker could
easily hypnotic people.
Katherine-Why do you think SO?
Margaret-He often holds my hand
till it falls asleep.-Puck.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

II you don't believe honesty Is the
best policy. try it.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
For HEADAoHE-Hick., cAPUDrNE

Whether from Colds, Heat, Stomach or
Nervous Trou bles, Capudine will relieve you.
It's liquid-pleasant to take-acts inmedi-
ately. Try it. l0c., 25c.. and 80 cents at drug
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Belgian or yellow carrots are hardy,
make large root growth and are the
best roots for horses and colts.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
Hoods
Sarsa parilla
Cures all humors, catarrh and
rheumatism, relieves that tired
feeling, restores the appetite,
cures paleness, nervousness
builds up the whole system.
Get it today in usual liquid form or
chocolated tablets called Sarsatabs.
IF a a3icted With ~ - E. w~E.s

s sa,s s1s. T asss 1hompson's Eye Wafer
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Isn't it about time to bury the dead
languages?