The Stanford interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1911-1912, 1911-05-02
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RECEIPTS FROM THE
DEVILS COOK BOOK.
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tFrom an ESchangcl


To make a lawyer:
Take ten pounds OF brass fiIingy
eight gail bladders and contents. 4,
gallons o. hot air. 10 reams OF pre-
ccdents and two pounds ot red poppcr
II yJu have any conscience ON hand.
add a little hut IL ~ not considered
necessary. Mix vel. Oake In a hot
oven and serve with demurrers
To make society women.
Take five pounds Of levny- y
pounds oi superciliousness. one ounc.
Oh brains, one shca,ne corset, =
pounds of cosmetics. three diyorses.
one hushei OF hair and "a yard of uilk.
STIR gently so rs to not rub OFF the
powder and serve decollette
10 make doctor:
Take two gallons OF microbes one
ounce OF idoiorin one pair OF Van
Dyke whiskers one pair OF squcaky
shoes. one gold watch one pad OF
death certificates. Sterilize wen and
add Tees. the largest obtainabIe. Put
Ia tour ounce Vials ana shake well be
fore using.
TO make a iiindoo.
Take one pound OF curry powder, 10
yards "a dty,y calico one blrrow
chest. one pair o. Women's hands. one
tumcsick expression. tive gallons OF
srrNility. Add plenty OF ungucnts
50 as to make 70 slippery and sorye
hot AS IL has q tendency to chrl.
To make preacher
Take one bundle az old sermons.
six yellow icE-sl chickens one white
tie, ore quart oil white tea. ten poUndA
OF birthstone Ado sensationSnsm
and a dash of vOrldllness and serve
on q contribution plate N the pre-.
out ume II Is customary a. shorten
with higher criticism.
To make a pawn 1roEer.
TAX. one booked nose. hire. GIT
balls, ore Iair o. apologize hanu-,
one cold storage heart. one bunch e..
payn tickets. NIX N~ll with pivnts
OF usury anu serve only when need
ed. Bite iuto u carefully or you may
lose your eye teeth.
To make school teacher: modern
receipt
ral.e one shirt waist. four papers
Oi hair pins. one pair OF eye glasses.
one normal course. one box OF chalk,
one powder puff. one volume of
lbsep's poems. one rattan. shorten
with plenty OF propriety although
sOms prefer little giddiness and
flavor sith modern methods. The OLD
receipt called for spectacles, a ruler,
plenty OF vinegar. the three RS
ma an uncertain are.
To make a dude:
Take a cane. one par or cuffs. one
an nj ri
spsts, n monocle and pair of purple
socks. Part the hair In the middle
ana remove the brains Add an I'm
giish accen; and II serving place the
head al the cane in the mouth.
To make hotel clerk:
Take one fake diamond. ten pounds
OF self Importance. ten pounds OF
hsuteur. one register. one directory,
md one white vest Ada a patrlclan
bearing and equal parts OF oDsequious-
ness and insolence anG IN cooking
see that II does not swell up too
much.
TO make a Highlander:
Take one pair OF hairy legs. three
yards OF plaid, 'hrCe yards Of cal
NIrism. one pound of oatmeal ana
Ytir 90 bagpipes. Add plenty OF
Fecretiyeness. cautlousness and
and leave out the humor.
Ia former times IL WIS considered
necessary % add "a claymore.
To make an ITishman.
one pair or brognes. cuttv pipe,
one bottle OF poteen, pair OF cordu-
roy trousers and shillalah. Make II
strong with religion and politics and
sweeten with poetry. Put in plenty
of fighting material and ThHrten with
blarney.
TO make chorus P:ri:
Take one pair OF skinny legs, one
voice lany kind viii dol plenty OF
padding, one box OF rouge, one Oglc,
one half yard OF cheese clo,n ana
powder well. Display the legs and
put la plenty OF yiyaciousness. Drill
thoroughly and keep away from the
Johnnies.
70 make a republican: Gold receipt
Take one 'sell fatted tariTf one