The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-11
MIR. UNDERWOOD IS
 NEWEST ARRIVAL"
CONTINUED FROM PAGE s)


 S~-~-~~~~~~~~> ~~-~>->~--~-~-->-~'-> for reading. As a boy he regarded Dick ems Thackeray and Scott as his favor ite authors. Now he must peruse musty essays on economic problems or lose out in the great game of tariff re- vision. He occasionally finds time 10 read a novel He does not care much what it is so long it is restful and handy. He does not fret much about poetry. Hudibras or Byron would suit him equally well. Neither could he take any medals for being a linguist. His father was of the old school and in sisted that Ire be taught Latin and Greek instead of French and German. Hence he remembers Julius Caesar said something about all Gaul being divided into three parts. The remainder has escaped his memory.
 Smoking is the worst habit to which MT Underwood will plead guilty He keeps on hand a broad. chunky, rather short cigar. and likes to have the fragrance curl up over him when at work
 Leaning somewhat backward in the matter of being temperate, MT. Under wood will go so far as to take big slug of whisky when he gets his feet wet or has a crck in the back. lie does not take it just to help the gov ernment along by paying internal rev enue tax.
 MT Underwood can hold up both hands and swear that no stomach trouble of any kind or description has ever seized hold of him. He can eat anything from predigested cereals to hardtack, and it all conveys the impression of being angel cake No indicating ostrich has anything on Mir Underwood. His appetite Is all ways at the high speed notch, and one thing serves to keep it quite as well as another. He uses coffee and tea.
 The chief peculiarity attributed to Mir. Underwood is his unfailing equabilty of temper. He is never upset or ruffled either in the fiercest of debates or in the peace and calm of private life Nc ordinary happening can provoke him to anger. The most untoward events vii not disturb his placidity.
 Pride in Party Regularity
 The matter in which MT. Underwood takes most pride is that he has always been regular democrat. Neither the tariff nor any other question has ever caused him to break away. He never voted any but the straight-out democratic ticket and never bolted candidate of the party. He is soaked and satuated riff-for-revenue-only democrat.
 He favors all reforms demanded by the people. He believes in the election of senators by direct vote. He introduced one of the resolutions passed by the House many years ago for the accom- plishment of that result. He advocates the publicity of campaign contributions and all other pending propositions in which it is intended to prevent corrup- ton and restore the plain folks their own. He does not favor protection in sny form.
 His Wife a Real Helpmeet
 MT. Underwood has been helped and assisted by his wife. She is proud of him and has faith in his future. She takes the utmost interest in his work and his ambitions. She assumes full control of the domestic establishment and leaves him free from care and concern It is rumored that she even lays out his clothes for him and ties his cravat. She seeks to aid him in his studies and work of research. She is bright, well educated vivacious and full of life. Not beautiful l..A A...c -L.--lu