Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-08-18
That Clutch Lunch"

Many editors, most Of them of the
number who, for some reason or other,
did not attend the annual meeting OF
the Press Association, have been dis
cussing the refreshments set up by
the Sioux Falls newspaper men at
that meeting and the layout has beer
dubbed a Dutch Lunch.
If the Argus Leader or the Press or
Peter Haas or Dan Scott will name
the component parts of a "Dutch
Lunch" the writer might be able TO
intelligently discuss the question but
from the standpoint Of one who dipped
into the refreshments several times
with pleasure, we saw nothing that
looked like a Clutch Lunch" as Web
ster gives it, but Webster wasn't a
Dutchman; nor did we find or taste
anything indicating Hollandic origin,
but we did find excellent cigars and
drank a little ginger ale which was
good, and we saw soda water bottles
floating around among small icebergs,
and a very accommodating colored
OlOUlicl uHu UIlC IoLlolo " bai'oS
who did not know how to open a
a bottle. The lunch, or refreshments,
If you please, was ample, for the
modern editor no longer seeks to fill
up on benZoate Of soda and a tar
dyes. There might have been a few
blue labels concealed under the soda
bottles, but we are ready to depose
and say to the best OF our knowledge
and belief there were none, and
President Dowdell of the National
quill drivers, will back our statement
that there was not even a sign OF
Brakes Plantation Bitters or Hostett-
er's Stomach Regulator present. Hol-
land Gin and "Scheidam Schnapps"
would naturally be in evidence at a
Clutch Lunch" and we a prove by
wine" was in evidence, and Colonel
Reeves of Groton will swear there
was no signs of New England or ia
macia rum, and John LOngstatf will
put his hand on the book that there
was neither Peach Blow or Apple
Jack in the r~efreshment room. and
Major Danforth Of the Vermillion
Republican will testify that he saw
no corn juice or denatured alcohol,
Mountain Dew or Moonshine broth,
Essence of potato or rainwater mixed
with tobacco juice. We might sum-
mon Mark Scott to prove that there
was nothing in the r~efreshment parlor
that could be classed as a second
cousin to the Limburger family or
signs of the tempting little weines or
sanrkraut, cabbage salad or mustard,
and these with pigs feet and bologna
might be properly clasSed as dutchy.
Then there Is the Extra Dry and
Green Seal families and the infer
mented charm of the grape, but Hans
DeMuth will declare on oath that
there was no sign of the grape family
in that lunch room.
We might summon Geo. SchiosSer,
who carries a good old fashioned
Dutch name, to prove there was no
sign of a Clutch Lunch" at all, and
thus ease the abnormal imagination
of Clate Tinan and other prohibition
ers who were not present, but it is
hardly necessary, because Bob Schaber
of the Hudsonite, a distant relative
Of Kaiser William, only better look
ing, will declare on honor that he
would recognize a Dutch lunch" If
he net enc on the h;Gh"ay, and that
the man or men who call the refresh
ments provided for the June meeting
of the editors. a Clutch Lunch"
wouldn't know the difference between
a pretzel and a shrimp.
The LEADER asks the Press or the
Argus Leader, Dan Scott or Peter
Haas, to write u and publish a list
Of the good things that properly enter
into the makeup of a Dutch Lunch"
and then the prohibition members Of
the association will not be afraid to
attend the midwinter meeting at
Yankton.
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