El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-07-25
60 HY married life" said the Sec
M ond man, has been a failure
because I have never had

80 HY married life" said the sec
Ns ond man, has been a failure
because I have never had q
home, because have been ruled by the
tyranny of tears, because have had a
doll instead CT a woman for g. wife
81 fell in love with q pretty, viva
cious and charming young girl, and
with mans fatuous folly under such
conditions. II never occurred to me to
even Investigate whether the woman
proposed to make my wife had any do
nestle training or qualifications. !
thought. in my simplicity, that just
the act OF getting married somehow
worked mirscle that turned the
f1ightiest butterfly Of a girl into a
wise and prudent helpmeet for man.
ION my part I was ready to give her
best work OF my hand. I didn't want
% make q slave Of her. / wanted her
TO have all the pretty clothes, all the
amusements. all the pleasures that
could possibly give her.
That was the little matrimonial
schedule that 7 had marked out for
myself but IL did not take long for
my wife to put It out Of Joint We
went to housekeeping IN q beautiful
little apartment that I had furnished
most artisticaily. for have taste in
such matters. And then our troubles
began Ny wife had been taught moth
ing OF housekeeping. and she did not
know whether to order q quarter OF
beef or pound. for a roast. hence
we were the victim Of all sorts OF
trades people, and our bills were some
thing TO turn q mans hair gray in
single night.
~At first I was deeply sympathetic
with my pretty little wife. and when
would come home and find her curied
up in limp heap in a pink silk and
lace negligee on the sofa and the mouse
in a muss. with no cook and no dinner.
] vouid take her in my arms and talk
inspired nonsense to her and kiss her
little over-mantcured fingers and tell
her to put on her prettiest frock. and
we would go out to a smart restaurant
TO dinner.
"'You know I Just can't cook, Har-
ry,' she would say. and just hate and
Ioatb that horrid old kitchen And, OF
course. you couldn't expect me to sweep
and make beds. for II would make my
hands so big and coarser
And. like the bIithering idiot I was.
I would say that I didn't want her to
ever do anything but just be my own
darling little girl.
But a man can't live on sentiment
alone Neither can he stay his stomach
on antique rugs. no matter how beauti-
full. nor eat old carved mahogany, though
I have been hungry enough many
time TO do tt Literally there was new
er decent meal in our house. there
was never a thing in place. and the
apartment always looked as If II had
Just been struck by cyclone And my
wffe's only excuse was that she was
not domestic in her taste and hated
housekeeping anyway.
Our expenses were something
friehtful, for the energy that my wife
failed to apply TO her housekeeping she
put in on the buying of finery. At 1iriSt
/ demonstrated with her. gently end
lovingly, explaining TO her that
wanted to be generous with her. but
that young man starting out IN bust
ness could not afford TO dress his wife
like miIlionairess. and that If we
ever hoped to get along in the world
we must be prudent IN our living ex-
pendftures. and that she must get less
expensive hats, and stop the waste and
stealage Of the servants, and look after
her end os the partnership as well as
hooked after mine.
Her reply ives a burst Of hysterical
tears. and reproaches, and sulks that
would last for days and days Tears are
the towards weapon with which a 1T
tie souled woman fights, for she knows
that no man has any means of defence
against them or any way OF hitting
back And the more Of a gentleman he
Is the more chivalrous he is, the more
he is at her mercy.
So She Won Gut.
Thus my wife won out To save my
self from being slain by dyspepsia,
and because was bound to have prop
er food and cleanliness, which could
not get in my own home, / at last broke
uD the little home that had been the
object Of my day dreams ever since Il
became a man, and went TO live in a
hotel Because I could not stand my
wife.s tears and complaints, and her