davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28
Offers Self Al Auction.

Nashville, Being out OF
work. unable TO secure employment
and with four dependent children. d.
y. Collins. advertises that he viii sell
himself at auction 10 anyone who will
assure hun employment.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28
East Buffalo. Dec. 22.

Cattle-Market dull and steady.
Prime steers, s7.25Gs; butcher
grades, 1907 Calves. market active;
soc higher. Gull to choice. s6n7.75.
Sheep and Lambs-Market slow;
lambs 25c lower Choice lambs. 1926
HG.50: Gull 10 fair. 3475Q6; yearlings,
S4.50d5. sheep, S2Q4.
Hogs-MaTket fairly active and
steady. Workers, $3.50; pigs. 500;
mixed. S6.25@6.3O; heavy. s6.3Og6S5;
coughs, iS,t9Q5.15i stags, s5q5.2b.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

A German scientist comes 10 bat
with the claim that the soul is not
Immortal. We repeat his remark
merely to start an argument We
hate peace.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

The players in the post.season
games each got more than the aver.
age college professor gets for profess
ing a whole year. SO long. however.
as the professors are content no
harm Is done.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

A Connecticut man lost his horse.
and after exhaustive searching found
the missing animal in an orchard Iy.
ing beside a pile OF cider apples in a
drunken sleep. The snake stories OF
the season sound monotonous after
this
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

A Chicago clergyman tells US that
the average man can tell all he knows
IN seven minutes. but we are willing
10 lay odds that II takes him more
than seven minutes 20 preach a ser.
mon.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

\ Chicago man has been sentenced
30 walk the floor with ais baby for
two hours every night. lie may con-
sider himself lucky he is not the
father OF triplets.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

burglars who blew open q safe In
an l.i1iana postofice got only nine
oerts II must be that the Indiana
zdthors are sending their manuscripts
by freight
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

A man in New York was sentenced
90 an hour in jail for shooting the
sweetheart who refused TO marry him.
Why the girl was not punished for
being shot was not explained In the
judicial process.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

Partisan fashion experts tell us that
within few years men will wear
knee breeches and powdered wigs
Evidently they do not know the DIFF
terence between men and persons
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

The latest fsh story is woven about
an ocean liner which is said 10 have
caught a string of FISH through It's feed
pipe. Those nature takers always
manage TO find a new way TO spring IL.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

portable wireless telephone has
been Invented In England. In the fu-
ture man will have no excuse for
failing 10 telephone when he keeps
dinner waiting
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

A Chicagoan has gone crazy count
Ing money. but a good many people
would be willing TO contract that form
Of insanity IL the money were only
their own.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

As for scientific management on the
farm. please note the case Of the Colo
RADIO hens which laid more eggs when
clad in neat little coats and caps.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

Although the baek-to-the-farm move
ment has not made great Roadway In
this country. IL may soon be given q
good boost by the Manchus in China.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

II a show IL immoral an arrest may
be made without a warrant by po-
liceman. n show is dull the puo-
ishment is left 10 the public.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

An English sailor. recently arrived
IN New York. tells startling tale OF
his capture at the hands OF a band OF
babboons. lie proudly says they treat
ed him like long lost brother. Some
people can be proud Of slmos; any
shiDE
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

a man Is middle-aged al 90. says
Lord Strathcona. According 10 his
version OF II. most men never cut
grow their infancy.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

Once upon time there was a deer
hunter who died a natural death. but
that was in the olden days when men
used the bow and arrow.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

Brooks comet is said 20 have two
tails. but people who stay UP late
enough TO see # generally are able TO
see two comets.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28
Wright lorimer. Author of
Shepherd King Takes
Life in New York
DESPAIR DROVE HIM TO DEATH
eriIiisn; Man of Letters Makes Care
fvl Plans 20 Make Death
Svre-Ieaves Letters
20 Friends.

New Neutrality-suspicious. by con-
tinued adversely and despairing Of
any immediate improvement; In his
fortunes. Waiter ". s Lowell. known
on the stage as Wright Lorimer. com
mitted suicide by inhaIing gas in his
apartments at l24 West SiNty-Fifth
street.
Had Sued Manager Fof see.zoo.
one Of the strange features OF Lor.
liners suicide Was that h chose the
day set for the calling Of his suit for
$500 against William A. Brady. for
alleged breach OF contract. TO end his
life. Lorimer seemed TO have lost
hope Of winning the suit. and although
IL may have appeared hopeless. his
friends believed that he still had
career before him on the stage.
There was a possibility that he
might have brought about a recon
ciliation with Mr. Brady. but Lorimer
evidently was bitter against him ani
would not make the first advances.
When Mr.. Brady heard Of the sui
eide he declared that he much re-
GREETED the death OF I1orimer and that
in view Of the circumstances be would
at once surrender all his interests in
the production OF The Shepard King"
to LOrimer's widow
Police Suppress Letters.
Lorimer had made a careful plan
to commit suicide. His body was
found lying on the kitchen floor. With
the head stuffed in an open gas oven
and pressed against the open gas jets
The gas jets in the room also were
turned on. Precautions had been
taken 10 prevent the escape OF gas
into the hall or through the Windows
The actor had been dead an hour
when found.
Lorimer left three letters, two OF
which were addressed 20 business as
sociates. and the third one addressed
TO Friends" which vas suppressed
BY the police until the coroner had
taken charge OF the body
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28
MARKET QUOTATIONS

Cincinnati. Dec. %
Wheai--No. . red 9scGsI. No. 3
red s4ns7c. No 4 red s0d93c Sales:
car No. red. track. 9sc.
Corn-No. white IS n6Sc. No ,
white o. G4c. No. 4 white 5sff6lc. No
: yellow s5G6Sc. No. yellow 62a6ie.
No. Z yellow 5sH soc. No. . mixed CO
ns6e. No. , mixed 62ds3c. No. 4 mix.
I'd 5Sa60c. white ear $50 Csc. yellow
ear C40 &C. mixed ear 63 d65c. Sales:
car heating track at SIC: car
yellow ear track at s3c: ! car No.
Z mixed track at soc: l car No. 4
yellow 1trsck) at 6Oc; ] car No. 4 mix
ed (traek' AZ soc.
Oats-No. 2 white 50G5Ohc. stand
ard white 4sG4sisc. No. white ASA
a49c. No. 4 white 47dtsc. No. 9 mix
ed ssd4Sikc. No. 3 mixed 4shz ~ 4sc.
No. 4 mixed i6H47izc. Sales: ] car
No. . white track at soc: I car
standard (track) at 4shc: car No.
3 white track at 4sc.
Hay-No. I timothy s23 ga so. No.
timothy s2l50d22. No. 3 timothy
s1s.50d2O.5O. No. clover mixed
s22 2562275. No. clover mixed
500. 75 n 2l25. No. l clover s2l Boa
22. No . clover $1,000 20.5O. Sales:
10 tons No. timothy track at
s23.5O. 10 tons No. I clover mixed
track at s2275. 90 tons No. clover
mixed (trackD al s2l.50.
Cattle-Generally steady at yester.
days prices. Shippers s5.5OH6.75. ca
tras s6.S5d7.lO: butcher steers. extra
S6.25d6.50. good to choice S5l5d6,
common 10 fair s4G5: heifers. extra
S5.25a $50. good TO choice s4.5Om5.20
common 10 fair S3d4.4O: cows, extra
S45On475, good 10 choice t3.65d4.40.
common to fair sl.25d3.50; Gamers.
f1.5Od2.s5.
Bulls-Steady. Bologna s3.T5a435.
fat bulls s44Oa $50.
Mich Cows Extremely dull and
lower.
Calves and 25d5Oc lower.
Extra S7.75Ms. fair to good $500
7.50. common and large s3d6.25.
Hogs-Generally steady at yester.
days prices Selected heavy shippers
$6l5G6.20. good to choice packers and
butchers s6.lOd6.l5. mixed packers
s5.s0q6.l0. stays sS64s5. extra Sc,
common TO choice heavy fat sows s4a
$50. extra s5.65. light shippers $500
SIS. pigs (ll0 lbs and lessl $3.50
5.35.
sheep-Steady Extra s3.3OG3 20,
good to choice s2.s5G5.25. common 10
fair Si.25G275.
Lambs-Steady to a shade higher.
Extra $500 5.75. good to choice s5n
$40, common to fair s3m475. stock
ewes s34350. yearlirgs s3.25D425
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28
MEMBER or

The tip ia an Insult" says the chi
oago Record-Herald. Insulting the
waiter then 10 what keeps travelling
men poor.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28

A man asks a divorce after getting
his own breakfast for twenty years
though this may not solve the break
fast question.
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28
Bunalo. Dec. %.

Spring Wheat-No. northern,
sllOIz No. northern. stOsH; win.
ter wheat. No. 2 red. 9sc; No. white.
9sc.
corn--No. yellow. Gee: No. 4 yel.
low, 64c.
oats-No. 2 white. Size: No 3
white, sic; No. 4 white. zoe; standard.
51hc.
Barley-sl1Sd1.25.
Rye-No. I. csc; No. 2, SIC
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28
''f'rn the Man She

1T is the only way that you can
make my New Year happy" he told
her. and as she looked up into his face
she knew that what he said was true.
(Copyright)
The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1911-12-28
INTERNATIONAL
SUNMSObOOL
LESSON
LESSON FOR DECEMBER 81
REVIEW.

GOLDEN TENT-'1f We confess ou'
-an,. he 10 faithful and just 10 forgive us
our sins. and ~ cleanse NJ from al IN
r,rhteousness II John -.
The fool-killer., 1911-03-01

shot with q load Of scrap-lron and
then fed to the sbuzzards.
The world should lift its plug
hat to this man Reedy. Dogged #
it ain so. He is another Of the
worlds wizards. He has made it
possible to take an old hollow
sided plug Of a COW that Wouldnt
give a pint Of blue-johns in three
weeks, give the old sway-backed
beast a frst-class musical educa-
ton, and make her give six gal
Ions a day, already churned and
the butter took up and sailed.
And with a little more musical
training / guess a COW could be
taught to squat down over a tub
and pour the milk out of herself
without the trouble Of tugging it
out by hand.
The fool-killer., 1911-03-01

is this-if our old Uncle has got
So alfred much money to blow
in on conservation, ] think he
could find. plenty Of objects that
need his attention a thunderation
sight worse than the old scrubby
trees Of the Appalachian Noun
tains do.
The fool-killer., 1911-03-01

The Legislature of North Caro-
lima passed a resolution Of SYM
pathy for SOld Booze and all his
family. Old Booze sure needs
it-and I'd want some sympathy,
too, if | had to go galloping down
the red guzzles Of such a set of
Jack-leg Legislators as that
The fool-killer., 1911-03-01
MILK AND MUSIC.

old fool you'll Tee Do Ra, vince
dledum, tweedledum, boom-de-a!
Now, by the beard of the sacred
prophet and the Big Bears Foot,
If I amt discovered CoW-Heaven
| don't want your money. And
the story goes like this:
Up in Illinois, near ShecaWgo,
there lives a guy named Reedy,
who owns and operates a milk
and-butter, joint. This fellow
Reedy is some sort of an editor,
too, | believe, but he has grown
tired of the office and now sleeps
in the barn among the COWS. For
several months Reedy has been
giving his entire time and atten-
ton to the COW business-study-
ing the manners, customs and re
quirements Of the cow-and he
has just leaped into fame with a
great discovery. He has discov-
cred that a COW needs music. The
story is told in Reedy's own
words in a recent issue of his pa
per, as follows:
Il found that on several occasions
when there was a small boy loafing
about the barn and playing a Jews
MIXED, the animals gave down more
freely and the butter fat was greater.
The cows stood stiller and did not kick
over the pals. / called on my neigh
Dor, Oscar H. Bollmann, stated the
case to him and had him install in the
barn a fine Mason & Hamlin piano,
with player attachment. A professor
was hired, and now there are two
concerts daily at the Clonmel Dairy
barn, at the milking hours.
The yield of the nineteen Jerseys
and six Holsteins has. since the in
s%tallation of music, reached an a.
mount equivalent to that of at least
thirty animals MIXED without the
musical accompaniment. There is no
mistake whatever about these facts.
Melody has a certain softening in
fuence that promotes the giving
forth of the milk secretion. It soothes
sly milkable. Many dairy experts have
visited the musical cow-barn and
have been convinced that l have, made
a great discovery. This discovery /
am going to follow out further. /
am going to have vocal concerts for
the Clonmel herd. Mr.. Joseph Buse
and Mr.. George Ravold have agreed
to sing for us at the barn on Tues
days and Thursdays, and I have in
vited Mr.. William Jennings Bryan to
make a speech there. Mr.. Roosevelt
/ have not invited. l tried a Victrola
record of one of his efforts upon the
lowing kline one evening and a little
c~ross-eyed COW came pretty near
jumping through the roof"
Oh, glory halleluyer whoop EN-
up and poppit tn EN- liza jane
That is the immortal truck. II
simply takes the cake and sops
the skillet. Now when old Pide
begins to go dry you'll know
what to do-just move the piano
to the barn and put it to work
And if that don't fetch her to hel
milk, go and hire a niger camp
The fool-killer., 1911-03-01
A SERMON ON LAND HOGS.

S ~ - w
swing its journalistic billy around
a few times and fetch it down
kerbim!-on the tough old nog-
gin of the land hog. Do you know
what a land hog is? If you don't,
I can purity quick tell you. A
land hog is any old son-of-a-gun
made in human form who wants
to hog up the entire township
wants to own and control a hun
dred times more of Gods dirt
than he's got any earthly use for.
The land hog has oodlins of mon
ey, and he slaves day and night
for more. And every cent he gets
goes to buy more land. The old
hog has heard somebody say that
real estate is a safe investment,
and he thinks he is powerful wise
and smart If he can get a deed
to a whole county.
And so he hogs and hogs, and
just keeps On hogging, and his
hoggish greed for more land is
never satisfied. He thinks about
nothing but land In the day time
and dreams about land at night,
until the old fool is plum land
crazy. He buys every foot of
dirt that can be bought, pays tax
on it and lets it lie idle, when
there are dozens Of poor families
living around him who need that
land to make a living on. The
old hog cant cultivate so much
land himself, and if he rents it
out he wants the renter to furnish
| everything, do all the work, and
get nothing.
! Il the. land hog had any human
principle about him he'd sell out
his surplus land in small tracts to
the poor families and give them a
chance to pay for it and have
homes of their own. But does he
do it? Well, / guess not. He
prefers to strut around and pose
as a great Landlord and hold
other peoples nos to the grind
stone. The under dogs have to
just scratch around in the fence
corners and on the steep noun
tain side among the rocks in
order to pick up a little bite to
eat, while the great land hog has
thousands Of acres of good level
land lying idle and doing nobody
any good. He is like the dog in
the manger, that couldn t eat the
hay himself and wouldn' { let any
thing else eat it.
Ii we had a laW-making body
that was worth shucks it would
be unlawful for any man to own
more land than he has any use
for. The land hog regards him
self as a very important person
age, but in the eyes Of a just God
he is only a seeded wart on the
heel Of civilization, and lower
down than a four-legged swine.
Let every honest and upright
man own a little land-if he
wants lt-and let no rotten-heart-
ed, misery human hog own more
than he needs. That's the way
| preach it, and so ends this SER
mon.
The fool-killer., 1911-03-01
THE PARK AND THE PEOPLE.


And so the famous Appalach-
ian Park bill has become a law!
Well, so much for that. I sorter
think it S a good thing, SO far as
it goes, and I have been in favor
Of it all along. The great virgin
forests Of this mountain section
ought to be protected from the
rayages Of the fool saW-miH gangs
who care for nothing only to cut
and slash and saw and drag out,
leaving the country stripped. and
destitute and at the mercy of
wind and flood. Cutting out the
forests has changed our climate
and injured our land more than
the people have any idea. And
so I'm glad that Uncle Sam is go
ing to take a hand and puta stop
to some Of this foolish waste.
But, boys, as sure as a dog has
feas, there is another side to this
Conservation question. If I'm
Gle Sam is right plum bad off to
do something that needs doing,
why in the name Of Adam s
Mother-in-law don't he pitch in
and do a little conserving a.
mong the poor down-trodden PEG
pie Of this rotten old republic?
Why don't he roll his optics up
and down the land and see if
there amt something besides the
trees that ought to be looked af-
ter? The old booger would find
hundreds. Of thousands Of poor,
poverty-stricken people, hungry,
sick, and disheartened, fighting a
desperate battle for bare exist
enee, and being crushed to death
under the wheels of this pluto.
cratic Juggernaut that we call a
free government You haven I
heard Uncle Sam say anything
about trying to relieve these ter.
rible conditions, have you? No
not nary Whimper. / reckon the
old scrubby trees out In the
mountains are Of more value thar
the people. Sam can afford te
buy up the mountains, put a gov.
eminent fence around 'em ano
start a rattlesnake ranch, but he
amt got any time nor money to
waste in trying to better the con
ditions and tighten the burdens
Of the struggling masses. The
idea has wiggled itself into Sam's
old cocoanut that it will be a Jim
dandy Investment to spend a few
million dollars for ground-hoe
holes and bear dens; but to saw
his sole-leather gizzard he cam
see any profit in giving the com
mon people a living chance
helping and teaching them to ge1
better homes. better schools anG
better sanitary conditions. No
stree! Sam don't see any sens
in that. IL a poor man gets sicl
J and is not able to pay for medi
cal attention-wen, he don't ge.
it-that s all. But if some ole
tree in the back mountains get
a hollow place in it, they wire fol
the government tree doctor, am
he comes on a special train ant
doctors the dear old tree. Mayb,
there's dozen poor humans il
The fool-killer., 1911-03-01
DOCTOR MARY rs PLEASED.

/ saw a picture of Doctor Mary
Walker in a paper t'other day,
and the old gal was wearing a
brand new smile about sixteen
feet broad. You know Doctor
Mary is the original brooches
Woman-she has always worn EN-
and refuses to wear any other
kind of leg-covering. In the pic
ture / speak Of she was standing
there looking like a little sawed
off man with an old woman's
head on. And the 20-horsepower
smile that covered her features
and reached out for several feet
all around was caused by reading
in a fashion journal the statement
that all women are now going to
wear breaches.
Mary has been trying all her
life to bring about this reform
in feminine dress, but the women
Wouldn' t grab on worth a cent.
But now when old Miss Paris
stamps her fine French foot and
yells "Breeches! you bet they
tumble to the racket in short or
der. No humming and having in
the case. The women must all
have breaches this next summer
even if the men have to go in their
shirt-tails.
And all this is very pleasing to
Doctor Mary-she feels sorter
vindicated, as it were. She start
ed the fashion about sixty years
ago, and the world is just now
catching up with her. Three
cheers for Doctor Mary, consarn
her old Whit-leather hide!
The fool-killer., 1911-03-01

@
One of the worst things that
could happen to Socialism is for
it to be espoused and advocated
by such foul-mouthed, atheistic
and disreputable rakes as old
Dick Maple, of the National Rip
Saw. Old Dick don't believe
there is any God, any Devil or
any future existence, and the old
%rattletrap is doing his inferna1est
to get his personal views along
these lines taught as the founda-
ton principles of Socialism. If
Socialism wants to, make any
progress among decent people it
will have to cut loose from Old
Dick and all Of his wild-eyed in
fdel gang.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1911-04-21
DANGER IN LIMESTONE WELLS

There appears to be great desire on the part OF num-
ber of our citizens to use well water for drinking and
domestic purposes and quite number have gone to the
trouble and expense of digging such wells so as to avoid
using river water little investigation will prove that
in Grants Pass during recent years there has been typhoid
where well water has been used altogether The United
States geological survey report for this month has vau
able paper on the subject and should be read by thought
full people everywhere Mr.. Matson the writer Of the
article in question: takes up the matter of the pollution OF
underground water in limestone In substance he says
that the water which supplies weHs in limestone regions
usually makes its way along enlarged joints in the rock
which may in places be extensive caverns The en-
largemen is due to the solution of the limestone by water
containing carbonc acid In many of these underground
channels where the surface covering is thin mantle of
less porous material, the dangers of pollution
which may result in typhoid and other Diseases are very
great and there is practically opportunity for natural
publication The danger increased by the fact that per-
using underground water apt to rely its gen.
eral appearance and temperature indications of purity
It is generally considered that water which is clear and
cold pure but such conclusion is warranted for
Of the most dangerously polluted waters free from
sediment and deliciously cold.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1911-04-21
THE WEST HAS A KICK COMING

Once more the solid south is running things In the
house of representatives and there blood on the mooh
for western democrats refuse to submit to Dixie dctaton
OF the fifteen important committees of the house the
west has in all only eighteen members No man from be-
yond the Mississippi member of the appropriation
committee judiciary committee or the committees Oh
foreign affairs naval affairs postoffice or nsular al
fairs Western people are highly indignant over this
treatment and trouble may be looked for.
The west has great interests affected by the legisla
ton referred to in all these committees special from
Washington reports that other big committees
the west has but single member each.
There is no westerner the committee on ways and
MEANS which to report the Canadian reciprocity bill
and all tariff measures This committee is to originate
these bills the important of all legislation to be con-
sidered at the special session. and California alone rep
resented of all the states beyond the Mississippi Valley
Likewise the west has only member each on the com
mitee of rivers and harbors military AFFAIRS public
buildings and grounds banking and currency territories
and immigration.
This is bad send off for the democratic majority and
the result may be far reaching in view of the presidential
election next year.