The Sentinel=record., 1911-02-19
BLUEPRINT
Of TAFT MIND
SHOWING CONDITION WHEN
HITCHCOCK REFUSED TO BE
ELECTED BY TOE OF BOOT.
Phonograph Record Showing Long
sIIences from Oyster Bay, and
other Incidents of the Grid
iron Dinner.

Washington, Feb. 1S.-That UNIQUE
organization of newspapermen, the
Gridrion Club, entertained its friends
at dinner tonight, and it would be hard
to tell which got the most fun out of
the varied melange of wit and humor,
OF sense and nonsense, that was pour.
ed forth-the guests or the hosts.
There were many men of high de.
gree among the former men of stern
yisage with faces lined with the bur
dens of great public charges and re.
sponsibilities; yet they laughed like
school boys and chuckled and chortled
with mirth at the merry quips and
jests of the scribes that unfailingly
played upon the foibles of some of
their own number or nit off in a roar
ing skit some fatal weakness in the
party policies.
And the hosts had that keen sense
of enjoyment that comes from know
ledge that one has purveyed success
fully to the utmost demands of mind
and matter and has supplemented a
repast of the most exquisite viands
with al feast of mingled humor and 5a-
tire calculated to add infinite zezt to
the entertainment.
Gridiron dinners differ from most
other formal affairs of the table in the
fact that guest does not wade
drearily Through a heavy course din.
ner clear down to the coffee and ci-
gars and only then, with rain more
or less dulled, have an opportunity to
listen to floods of oratory. No; at one
Of these banquets the fun begins with
the very seating of the guests and
sparkles and crackles through the din
ner, and interrupts courses in a fash
ion calculated to drive a well-meaning
chef to distraction.
Tonights dinner was no exception
to the rube for almost at the outset
there was what appeared to be a bit.
ter row over the inauguration of Rich
ard V. Culahan, publisher Of the New
York Sun, as president to preside over
the dinners OF the Gridiron Club for
the next year. Quite unaware of OPP
position, he had taken his seat at the
very handle of the Gridiron when he
was fiercely beset by the famous
Democratic Committee of Fifteen"
Because they had undertaken to run
the business Of the House of Repre-
sentatives, relieving of all responsible
ity the unfortunate Speaker Champ
Clark whom tney exhibited in shack
les to demonstrate what a rules fight
in one Congress can do TO a perfectly
good Speaker in the next; they now
extended their ambitious designs and
demanded to be inaugurated as Presi-
dent of the Gridiron Club.
Scarcely had the Committee been
placated by being resolved into
Hog Combine and order restored
when Japanese spy was unearthed
Papers of the most compromising ma
ture We're found upon his person, such
as a diagram 'slowing where Honor
able Cummins will place step lad
der on back porch of White House
HBlue print of Hon. Taft's mind when
Hon. Hitchcock refused to be impelled
with toe of boot out Of Republican
National Committee A "Phonograph
record showing long intervals of sill
lence at Oyster Bay and measure
ments of Honorable hole into when
Congress throws billion dollars each
year. Just when the excitement ran
highest it was discovered that the
pseudo spy was Richmond Pearson
Hobson--the japanese War Scare
Blythe enough was the sprightV
clerk who announced to the diners
that the House had passed the Reci-
procity bill, which he acid in his hand'
But he cut an awful figure re"
minutes later as he emerged from the
door of the Senate Chamber. with ms
Clothes in tatters, his hat knocheu
over his eyes and the parchment OF
the bill in shreds- that was lett
of Recopricity."
Then for "a moment the dining nan
with its exquisiteiy beautiful norai
embellishments was plunged inVo
blaclSness, and the great fiery gridiroh
over President Taft's head faded away.
In sepnlchral tones a lecturer lifted
his voice amid the CALL silence anu
discourse mournfully, and then 10 turu
with pungent wit upon public men anu
measures, and shrieks OF laugnle'
We're heard as remorseless spo'
light was directed upon the snrinKihs