The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-07-20
THE LAUGH FACTORY.
Boss Gets the Hands to Work Over
Wsybaek Jokes.

Wsybaek Jokes.
THE professor OF humor took his
place at bis desk. and after the
students had been seated he
YEARLY opened his notebook and be-
gan.
Gentlemen" he said, this morn
ing's recitation win be on variants Of
the Notador Joke. Mr.. Hawkins. you
viii please begin by telling us the first
version Of the Notador jest"
"When is a door not a door?" droned
Mr.. Hawkins. when it's ajar."
"Right," said the professor. with a
weary sigh. "Mr. Wilkins, when do
we find the first variant upon this
originalT
"In the days of Socrates" replied
Mr.. wilkins.
THAT is correct" said the professor
"You may give us the variant"
"'When is a jaw not jawr asked
Xanthippe as she poured out Socrates
morning cup of hemlock. When it's
a-waggin',' answered Socrates, much
TO the lady's disgust" replied Mr..
wilkins.
every good, Mr.. Wilkins" said the
professor, his eyes filing with tears.
"Do we find any form Of this jest in
the Scrlptural period, Mr.. Slithersf"
asked the professor after getting bis
emotions under control
"Impled only" said Mr.. Slithers.
"You may state It." groaned the pro
fessc".
"'When is a rat not ratr asked
Shem," growled Mr.. Slithers. When
it's an Ararat.' answered Ham"
"Ha-humw said the professor,
scratching his head. "That is a pret-
ty fair answer. Mr.. Slithers, but 1t is
not the one given in my lecture. We
are not desirous Of encouraging orig
inal thought among our students this
term. You may give me the instance
quoted in my lecture"
II wasn't here that day. professor,
said Mr.. Slithers.
"Then Mr.. Blabbington may answer
the question" said the professor.
"'WheD is a verb not verbr asked
the queen Of Sheba. When it's a
proverb replied Solomon, with wink
at Mrs. s., Series j.. No. 1885," replied
Mr.. Blabbington.
"That is correct, Mr.. Blabblngton,"
said the professor, except in the mi
nor detail Of Mrs. Solomon's number
The lady referred to was No. 1897. Sc
ries G."
"Mr. Hickleberry, you may give me
the barnyard version of the Notador
jest" continued the professor taking
a deep draft of black coffee to keep
himself awake.
when is a chicken not chickenT
began Mr. Hickleberry.
Eyes, go on. Mr.. Hickleberry," said
the professor. "When is a chicken not
chicken
"Why, when It's a-er-when it's an
apple" said Mr.. Hickleberry, hesitat-
ing much, however.
when It's an applet" retorted the
professor sharply. "How absurd, Mr..
HicklebeTy! That is an answer that
absolutely destroys the value Of the
jest Now, think moment Put your
mind ON the proposition-when is
chicken not chickenT
"You said in your lecture that a
chicken was not a chicken when 1t
was an APPLE" replied the embarrass-
ed student, "or at least so under
stood you, professor"
II said nothing Of the kind, sir" re-
torted the professor with a frown of
displeasure. "Mr Wagstaff, perhaps
you can tell Mr.. Hickleberry what |
did say-when is a chicken not chick
emp
"when it's a-pippin'. sir" replied Mr..
Wagstaff.
Correct" said the professor.
Just at this point the bell rang, and
the class In humor passed out while
the professor retired to his study to
prepare his next days lecture on "the
chestnuts Of the preadamite PERIOD
Harpers Weekly.