The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1911-02-15
CUTTING HIS PANTS.
A Funny Mans Criticism Of tho sar.
terial Artists Efforts.

A Funny Mans Criticism Of tho Sar.
! terial Artists Efforts.
When q tailor puts you on the meas
uring box. with man guarding the
door so that you can't get away and
| arother making book on the game,
be reels OF something Ike this as he
goes about you with his measuring
ape: "1S-o-1i-16-S-i-1S-11--s6-
Gee, you're beginning to get front.
amt you u?-GiE.-11-side and two hips.
Jimmie ie-3314-3G-Can you come in to-
morrow or Gay?-l9-G-Eouse or
fat. did you sar:-2S-Custom OF
| the house to have deposit on oil or
ders-16-What was that last. Jimmie.
did say? Oh, make 1t 23 in the mid
d!e-What did you say your name
was. mister"
Now. nobody can make any conibt-
nation Of the foregoing figures which
will spell anything like decent pair
Of pants. But the tailor cares nothing
whatever about the figures which he
calls out to Jimmie and indeed makes
DO reference TO them IN his latec op-
eratioas. He knows the pants won't
at, anyhow, so what's the use: X
you watch him you will discover that
be usually takes up some other mans
measurements when he undertakes
the laying out Of that particular Gar-
| rent on which he puts your nome.
Having selected from the Lass OF
papers on his desk set OF figures
which suits him. be goes behind his
counter. yawns. looks in the glass.
smooths down his hair. hunts for the
I place where he LEFT his cigar and at
last picks up 4 thing which looks Ike
a board rule. with curve in the cor
her Ike hockey stick II you are
hot watching him he will probably
cut your pants by ear and Will no:
bother to use this implement. but IL
sou insist upon inspection he'll! make
o pretense OF scientific use Of this In.
strument. whose real nature or pur
pose no human being knows or ever
! will know.
What the tailor IS thinking OF rs he
begins to make chalk marks IN piece
| Of blue paper. using this rule as
straight edge. is the Joy ride" he is
going to have with Marie In his lew
| auto that evening. It makes no diff
ference to him whether the chalk slips
OF not, nor Is 1t important how far
| along this or that angle he allows the
straight or curved line to run. He
knows they are not going 10 III. any
how, so why should he bother about It
| overmuch: The only hope you can
| possibly have meantime IS the one
| raised n your bosom when the tailor.
from behind the counter looks up and
says: Jimmie. why IN the world
didn't you mark the name on this
gents pants! Oh. well, never mind.
! The tailor goes on making several
cute little pictures on the blue paper
BY aid Of this curved thing. which has
numbers scattered along II here and
there. he draws in several isoscleS
triangles, converSinS ut more or less
the same point: bu:, not hiking the
| looks OF these he rlbS out some OF the
| Lines and tries oTer again. Then he
eorge.s which ones he rubbed out. II
makes no difference anyhow At last
be stands OF. critically sazes upon the
| pattern which be has been casting.
makes hit or miss c7oSsw!Se dab
With the chalk-which determines.
wholly by chance. how long your pants
are going to be-and smiles to himself.
Everybody Magazine.
A Famous Wire.
In the Cumberland Lodge portion OF
the royal gardens at Windsor there IS
vine, known ali over England as the
Cumberland Lodge vine. which IS 4
shoe, OF still older vine which grows
al Hampton Court. but the shoot has
Ear ou,distanccd its paren, IA dimen-
s!ons aud productiven' 81. IN England
grapes are generally grown under
glass, ard the Cumberland Lodge vino
has q great glass structure. 10 tect
long by 20 wide. all 20 itself. Growing
with astonishing iu1uriance. the vine
spreads itself over roof area OF 2.pO
SQUARE feet and bears annually 4 crop
O: approximately thousand huge
lunches OK the finest favored grapes.
These grapes are fre.::..on,ly found on
the royal table and the subject who Is
presented with basket OK them con
sidcrs himself highly favored. The
shoot from which the great vine has
crown was planted in 1II5.