davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY
Had II on His Mind.

A clergyman tells the following stO-
~:
"a young man came up to one one
day with the remark. 'Parson | want
you to marry me next Wednesday,
"'All right. I'll marry you
land l want the church bell TO
ring.
"'Yes. you can have the bell rung.'
"'And the organ played
"'All right, you can have the organ
land l want everything else any
body ever had at a church wedding
"'You shall bave it.
"Well. the day came, the bell rang.
the organ played. the church was
crowded and everything went off as
the young man wanted it. When the
ceremony was oyer the young couple
waited instead OF leaving the chancel.
SO | shook hands with the bride and
then held my hand out to the bride
groom.
He had his hand deep in his trou-
sers pocket. and as / stood with mine
out he said somewhat impatiently and
in tone that could be heard all over
the church:
I'm getting The money out as fast
as cam
"Then everybody in the church gig
gled. Bits.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Good Shootinu,

The story below of certain Virginia
mountaineers whose patriotism was
only equaled by their craftsmanship,
IS one told by G. X. Bolton in the
American Historical Review.
In 1775 800 recruits were needed.
but many more came forward, and the
commanding officer decided on a shoot
ing match to determine their profcien-
cy. A board one foot square, bearing
a chalk outline Of a nose, was nailed
to a tree at a distance Of $50 yards.
Those who came nearest the mark
with a single bullet were to be enlist
ed. The first forty or fifty men who
shot cut the nose entirely out Of the
board
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
KENTUCKY FAIR DATES.

The following are the dates fixed
holding the Kentucky Fairs for 1911 as
far as reported. Officers of fairs are
requested to report to US any omis-
siOns or correction of dates:
Paris, September IS days
Monticello, September 81 days.
Alexandria, September SIS days.
Mount Olivet. September Sd days.
Hodgenville, September SIS days.
Sanders, September Ga days.
Kentucky State Fair Louisville, Sep
TENDER IL days
Scottsville, SEPTEMBER l4-3 days.
Horse Cave, September 90 days.
MorganstoMn. September 21-3 day.
Glasgow, September 27-4 days.
Mayfeld, September 27-4 days.
Falmouth, September 27-4 days.
Paducah, October 81 days.
Bowling Green, October A. dkys.
Murray, October III days.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
SUITABLE CROPS
FOR HOG PASTURES.
Rape and Rye Furnish Excellent
Fall Forage

Glover pastures, which are much tho
most common of the hog pastures In the
corn belt, furnish very large amounts
Of excellent forage during part of the
season. They can be used fairly early
IN the spring and continue growing
until per- APPS in July. when the wealth
or becomes hot and dry. when they
are very likely to cease growth and
become so woody and hard that hogs
will not readily eat the clover. Farm
srs should guard against this condition
oy providing some different green feed
Cor late summer and autumn.
There are several crops which may
be planted for late summer pasture
which will furnish fresh succulent
green feed for all seasons OF the year.
One of the most valuable Of these Is
cape. This may be sown broadcast In
the cornfields at the last cultivation at
the rate of three to five pounds of seed
per acre and by early autumn Will
have made a growth to furnish pas
ture of an excellent quality. Rye is
another crop the possibilities of which
are greatly neglected II sown late In
the summer or early fall 1t will grow
up so that it may be pastured late In
the fall and during the winter. will
furnish a lot of feed in the spring and
still produce grain crop the following
summer. Millet, Kaffir corn and the
various varieties of sorghum can also
be used for this purpose with excellent
results. There Is no section of the
country which Is adapted to hog rails
ing which will not produce some OF
these pasture crops so necessary to the
economical growing Of hogs as well as
to the greatest growth and flesh de.
velopment Of the animals Kansas
Farmer.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Christ Coming Next Year.

The second advent of Christ
upon earth and the reuniting of
the lost tribes of Israel will &C.
cur some time in November of
1912, according to a declaration
filed in the office of the County
Recorder of Cook County Illinois.
This remarkable document,
which fixes the month of the
second coming of the Savior,
was drawn up and filed by Harry
l.. Burnett and John Taylor, dis
ciples of the late John Alexander
Dowie and asks that all the fol-
lowers of Zion rally to the sup
port of the King" when He
shall come.
Before the year of 1912 shall
close, Jesus, the Christ, the Son
of God, will come forth from the
eternal throne once again to
teach and preach the gospel of
salvation and to heal the sick, :"
reads the document.
"The Christ will be revealed
in Zion City, built by Gods
Elijah as a preparation of the
way unto all who await His
coming"
According to Burnett, who is
the author of the prophecy, the
Christ will remain on earth 434
years. This time will be con-
sumed in reuniting the tribes of
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
FALLING c0C0ANUTs.
Dew Makes Most Of Them Drop From
the Trees at Night.


I'll the tropics when the cocoanut is
wanted for planting" said an importer
Of the fruit. 1.-The nuts are picked up
when they fall from the tree where
they have hung for about fourteen
months in ripening. 1t is a fact not
generally known that a majority of
the nuts drop at night, which probably
accounts for the small loss OF life by
cocoanuts falling upon the heads of
the natives.
1.-THE action OF the heavy dew at
night loOsens the seal with which ma
1t to fall. The nuts wanted for plant
ing are either gathered into heaps or
placed under sheds, where they are
allowed TO sprout before planting in
order that good, healthy nuts may be
selected, thus avoiding the possibility
Of planting blind nuts that will not
sprOut, in which case much time would
be lost in starting the cocoanut walks.
as the orchards are called. When holes
are dug, about three feet deep and
twenty feet apart. the nut is carefully
placed therein and covered with about
foot of soil. The hole is filled as the
sprout grows until the latter reaches
the surface, then it is left to itself, re-
Quiring no further attention. Should
the place where the cocoanut is planted
be any great distance from the sea
shore a quantity Of salt is placed in
the hole. The plant will grow in lux
uriance, however, but a short distance
from the shore, nearness to salt water
being absolutely essential to it's wei
fare" -Washington Herald.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06

A stranger entering a house.
hold knows whether the kew
note there is high or low. There
are houses, affiuent in wealth
and culture, where the discords
are incessant, and the meaning
of life no higher than that of
brutes. But no symphony can
compare with the significance of
daily life in a family of gentle
words and noble conduct,
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Potato Scenes.

To bake potato scenes sift cupful
and a half Of flour with a half tea
spoonful Of salt and two teaspoonfuls
Of baking powder and rub in three
tablespoonfuls of shortening. Add one
cupful Of light, freshly mashed pota-
toes, add one well beaten egg and
enough milk to make a soft dough.
Roll out half an inch thick, cut and
bake on hot griddle or in hot oven.
Serve very hot. with plenty of butter.
-Suburbanite.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
"Hoss and Hoss."

Minister-Now. Tommy. suppose you
did something naughty and were
asked if you did it. What would you
say?
Tommy dunno.
Minister-You don't know? Why
why, what would hapen if you told
a lie?
Tommy-The devil d get me.
Minister-That's right. And what IL
you told the truth?
Tommy-Fd get the devil.-Toledo
Blade.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Literal.

Agnes was being hurried off to bed
at her usual hour. s p. M. despite the
fact that there were guests in the
house.
"Wby, Agnes, you go to bed with
the chickens, don't your a visitor
sympathetically remarked.
"No, don't" replied Agnes. resent
ing his reference to her youth. Il go
to bed with mamma" Mag
aZine
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Another Ran at EN-.

do you find out here" asked the
stranger in Colorado. that giving wo-
men the right to vote has made poll
tics any cleanerT'
well. 1 can't say as TO that" replied
the old settler. but / know some chill
dren that it seems to have made n lot
dirtier."- Philadelphi Times
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06

Isreal and in building cities
throughout the earth after the
model of Dowie's Zion City. The
rebuilding of Jerusalem will be
the last work of the Christ upon
the earth.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
>Midht Be Saved.

A Kansas butcher was driving a COW
to his slaughter house when a stranger
stopped him and said: what are you
going to do with that cowT 'Tm 60
ing to kill her," said the butcher. The
stranger looked the COW over carefully.
"Oh, 1 don't believe I'd do that If
you feed her up awhile l think she'll
live."-Kansas Magazine.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Her Dearest Friend.

81 don't like my new gown very
WELL" said the lady. 1.-The material is
awfully pretty and the style is all
right, but it needs something to i'm
prove the shape of It"
"Why." suggested her dearest friend.
don't you let some other girl wear
itT-Boston Globe.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Mood Ashes For Hoes.

Keep a small box Of wood ashes or
charcoal where the hogs can get at IT.
1t will do wonders toward keeping
them healthy and their digestions
strong. A little attention to matters Of
this kind win result in more thrifty
growth and quicker fattening.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Treatment of Wound by Nail.

In case the horse or COW has stepped
On a nail. clean the wound as we'll as
possible and then wash it out with
Is per cent solution Of carbolic acid.
After this has been done stop up the
opening with cotton saturated with
turpentine. If this remedy is used at
once it will prevent an attack Of lock-
law
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
a Damaaed Article,

Sophie. after scrutinizing her new
sister for several minutes. discovered
deep creases in the flesh of her fat
little wrists and neck.
mamma" said Sophie earnestly.
1--WE don't want her. She's cracked. We
must exchange her right away."-De-
lineator.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
The Quest of Tranquility.

Sometimes said Flooding Pete,
"I'm tempted to map out route thatll
take me to them there arctic regions"
1.-The climates no good" ventured
Meandering Mike.
mo. but your nerves git a rest.
None o. them Eskimos is lookin' fur
farm hands."-W Washington Star.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Mixed, but Emphatic.

"Since you got married you are late
every morning." complained the boss.
well" explained the breathless
and shake down a shirt waist and car
~ out the furnace every morning.
Washington Herald.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
The Safe Course.

This clerk may have been impudent.
but no doubt the customer smiled In
spite of herself.
How do you tell bad eggs?" asked
the young housewife.
81 never told any," replied the gro
Gerry clerk. but if / did have anything
to tell bad egg I'd break 1t gently"
Christian Guardian.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Spray the Cows.

It's an excellent and profitable plan
to begin spraying the cows early in
the season. before the flies are SO nu-
merous. The hair and skin Of the AMI
mails thus become so saturated with
the spraying solution that the fight
against the flies will be more success
full from the start.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Modern Eccentrjcitv

What an eccentric person young
Duckworth is"
I've never noticed 1t. He seems to
me to be rather a sensible sort Of
chap"
"But he wants to name his baby
daughter Sarah. Chicago Record-Her-
aid.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
The UPS and Downs of Life.

Wife lat breakfast tableD-Who are
your two letters from, dear?
Hub-Oh. one is from Jack Dudley,
asking me to come up, and the other
from my tailor. who wants me TO
"come Boston Transcript.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
A Hit,

Il made great hit at the banquet
last night. Came Off with a good deal
Of distinction, in fact"
Il didn't know you ever spoke at
banquets."
~ don't. l was the only one there
who absolutely declined" - Chicago
Record Herald.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
A Set Back.

Started saving up for your summer
vacation YETI
81 had started. but we ran out of
coal, and now I shall have to begin all
over again Detroit Free Press.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Pathetic Proof.

my Jim IS dead, my Jim Is deadi"
walled an old colored nanny, holding
up a letter. Here Il q letter from
him right from the dead letter of1cer'
-Woman's Home Companion.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
A Wise GUY.

"Gustav's letters to me are exceed
ingly dull and commonplace" said one
fair girl.
Don't you know whyr' responded
the other.
NO"
Gustav once served on the jury in
a breach Of promise case."-Washing-
ton Star.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
MINED In the Bud,

He-If I should-er-asky you to mar
~ me
She--You'd make the thirteenth
Newark (N. j. Star.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06
Wanted IL Settled.

There's one thing never could IN
derstand," her husband began. but he
rot no further. for she interrupted him
30 ask:
(which one-your first wife or me?"
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1911-09-06

Life. IKE dome Of many colored
glass, stains the white radiance Of eter-
uity.-Shelley.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1911-01-12
Dynamite in Coal.

Montezuma, Jan. Special: What
might have resulted in serious loss
of property, with possible personal
injuries. was happily averted. Some
coal had just been placed in The large
stove in the w. L. Powell grocery
when a great explosion took place In
the stove. The heavy top of the
stove was driven with great force
.g4iAa. ,.e ceiling, and Goals and
SCOT were scattered all around. The
clerks in the store quickly prevented
the fire from spreading, so that there
was no damage by fire. They are
still at work, however, getting rid Of
the SCOT and dirt that was scattered
by the explosion. 1t is presumed
that same blasting powder or dyna-
mite used in the coal mines was not
exploded when T. should have and es-
capped notice.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1911-01-12

swept caterpiilars from their porches,
or brushed down the scocoons, which
are interlacsd with caterpillar hairs.
Such airs, more or less broken, tieat
about in the air when the webs or
coeoons are disturbed, and ii inhaled,
cause. a great deal, OF internal irrita.
ton and actual poisoning. Egom
Poison in the Browntail,Yg in JaHil-
airy Technical World Magazine.
/ The January number has the first
OF new st. Nicholas serial, The
Forest Castaways,' by Frederick Grin
Bartlett, a story for both girls and
boys of life and adventure in Maine
winter camp. And Andrew Hast
iings,. Aviator" is a new kind Of ad
venture story, "a perhaps-not -impossi
BILE story of the not-distant future.
egE
The launching OF adventure" has
called forth true stories of adventure
from sources which have hitherto
failed to find exactly the right medi
UNI. In their third issue Captain
George b. Boynton, the most daring
adyenturer and soldier of fortune Of
the past century, breaks silence o.
fifty years to write himself the story
of his amazing career.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1911-01-12
4 SATISFACTORY YEAR
Such Has Been the Past One for
w.. the First Baptist chnrch.

The annual business meeting of the
Baptist church was held Sunday
morning, Jan. list, at the church, cor
nef Second avenue and Third street.,
and the session occupied the time OF
the usual Sabbath morning worship
and sermon. The attendance was
somewhat lessenea by the inclen.
ency, Of the weather, butt intense In.
terest was shown in the meeting and
the spirit that prevailed and marked
the deliberations was % a healthfui
and ,eminently satisfactory charac-
ter.a
The church has been doing excel
lent worn under the passorate OF
Rev. w. G. Rutherford, and the year
has in many ways been. one. of the
most satisfactory the church oFgani-
cation has known. There has been
net increase in church membership
and the scope of the church work
has been enlarged in many directions
The work of the church societies and
organizations has been of better
character and the entire year has
been marked by spirit of harmony
so essential to progress and greater
accomplishment.
The revival in the church during
the year netted the membership
about twenty-five accessions. The
total membership of the church il
now about two hundred. The church
property has been, improved during
| The term and expenses have been me-
with q cheerful promptness that j:
indicative of better things to come
That the church has needs and thai
the membership and the officers arr
ambitious is. good sign. The new
year that has opened auspiciouslI
contains promise of greater accom-
plisment in which all will have part
The election of officers for the ensu
! ing term of the church year resulted
as follows:
Clerk--Mrs. Mary Thomas.
- Treasurer-Miss Mamie Moore.
Chorister--Miss Jessie Duboc.
Pianiss-Mrs. w. C. Rutherford.
Asst. Pianist-Miss Emma Cruik
shank. wt
Deacon--Guy Reynolds.
Trustee-(three y'rs)Thomas Wat
son, reelected; tone year)--to b.
telected. -
The new officers for the Sunda.
school are as follows:
4 Supt.--Charles II. Young.
Asst Supt.--Mrs. May Borum.h
| Chorister- Mrs. w. c. Rutherford.
Pianist--Miss Edith Hook.
4 Asst. Pianist-Charles Martin.
Sec. Treas Windsor Duboc.
| Librarian Stanton Borum.
| Ushers-W Windsor Duboc was elecl
ed as head usher, with power to sc
iect his own corps OF assistants.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1911-01-12

The small town, with its stores, IS
development OF this country at large.
1t is great educational influence in
itself with its wares of all descrip-
tions displayed to the eye. The men,
tai interest is awakened an stimu-
lated by the opportunity to see with
ones own eyes the things that will
best supply the need. The social side
of human nature is developed by the
personal contact involved in such in
tercourse, and the trip to town or
village to make purchase is often
times one of the most agreeable
breaks in the monotony of farm life.
They meet at this social center a
whole circle Of friends. Blot this out
of the farmers life by sending the
business of the town to the retail
mail order houses and you take some,
thing that has human and social
value not to be measured by money.
A great many people overlook the
fact that this country already has a
general parcels post system, limited
to four pounds. The real question Is
whether that system shall remain as
it is, or whether in response to the
demand of the mail order houses
and the mediums through which they
advertise it shall be radically chang.
ed to conform to their ideas.
The Parcels Post boomers denNud
that the rates be radically cut
though they all advocate different
amounts. Some belive that the rae
should be eight cents per pound
with a weight limis of from ten to
fifteen pounds Other boomers de
mand rates as low as one cent per
pound, with weight limit as high
as one hundred pounds. III between
there are all kinds OF opinions.
Opposed 30 these schemes are the
business men of the country, who dc
from So per cent to 80 per cent of its
merchandising - the manufacturers
| jobbers and retail merchants. They
contend that reducing parcels post
rates below the demonstrated cost
of the service and increasing weight
limits beyond the present facilities
OF the post office department will
enormously increase the annual de
felt of the department, which must
be made up by taxation upon all the
people, including the many who
would not be benefited by the propos
ed parcels post changes, the many
who would be directly injured ant
the comparatively few who would
be benefited and who are forcing
this thing through. The demand fol
a parcels post comes hardly without
exception from those who expect tc
profit in one way or another from
the enormous increase in the mai
order business.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1911-01-12
School Report.

The following pupils were neither
absent nor tardy during the month OF
November. In the Elm Grove school,
Roscoe Thomas, teacher: Walter For
sythe, Alta Short. Ethel Short. Morton
Proud, Samuel Forsythe, Raymond
Hardesty, Kenneth Hockersmith, Clar-
ence Hoekersmith. Edna Short. Mar.
garet Proud and Anna McMullin.
The following have been neither
absent nor tardy during the past
month: Anna McMullin, Clarence
Hockersmith, Samuel Eorsythe. Ethel
Short. Alta Short and Walter For.
sYthe.
There Is great deal Of sickness tn
the school al present: nearly one
halt 81 tHe total number Of pupils be.
Ipg detained q home On that ac
<;<s<iN{. NJ \. .S iA ss eaX K .,s
The Oskaloosa herald., 1911-01-12
IOWA CITY HAS
BIG HOTEL FIRE
Cedar Rapids Chief Of Police Causes
a Sensation by Ruling.
ANAM0SA WOMAN AGAIN EL0PES
centerville All Astir Over Approach
ing Nuptual Of Granddaughter of
Ex-Gov. Drake--Frank Gotch
to Marry Wednesday.

Iowa City, Jan. Special: Fire
of unknown origin caused loss OF
100000 to the st. James Hotel block
early this morning. The Fire stared
in Finck's Cigar store in the base
ment and spread rapidly to the hotel
The guests were driven from the
building in their night robes and
many come down through The fire
escapes. w. J. Rutherford a travel
ing man of Neemah, Wisconsin fell
and injured his head. The smoke
and water did more damage than the
fire. The business houses which suf
fered loses are the St. James Hotel
Finck's Cigar store, Wienken's Book
store, Cerney & Lewis Book store
and Coast & Sons Clothing store.