Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-12-28
From the Sioux CITY Tribune.

Sttti. iSlS- ASK lNe SIlHSSN HuIItu.
frcckle-faced youth and he will answer
that the opening of another baseball
season is The one big event on tap.
Question the high school student and
he viii answer in classical terms that
commencement week and with it his
graduation speech. filled with advice
and counsel to the anxious world. is
the one event worth needing. Interview
the portly politician and he will wrinkle
his spacious forehead and put you wise
TO the fact that the greatest presiden-
tial campaign in the history of this
great universe is at hand. Interrogate
any mere man. the knave or the wise
enc, and he will designate some puny
topic uppermost in his mind. But,
| pshaw.
Let the membership of any girls club
have the floor for a minute. Call upon
the beautiful Beetles of the While an
Hcur club. the Meet Today society. the
Do Drop In club. the Ever Hopeful
club or any Of the dozen or more CLUBS
| whose roster is conspicuous because 1t
lacks he prefix Mrs. n they will
| not hesitate Il minute with an answer
provided they regard you as worthy
of a little confidence.
Now, altogether girls, Why are You
50 joyous as January I. n. d.. 1872,
approaches?
Chorus: Because it's leap year"
Order, girls, order: remember there
are gentlemen present.
The wealthy man, the Dashful man.
| the handsome mar and the elusive man
| are in for the greatest marathon OF
their respective lives. For 3e6 full and
complete days the bachelors must
| watch all exits and entrances, carefully
scrutiniZc every invitation. guard care
fully the wording of their letters and
watch in every conceivable way for the
least token of feminine adnliration-fo1
to misread the handwriting on the wall
might spell everlasting defeat in the
| game of hearts. Cupid is about to make
his usual desertion of the masculine
ranks and for an entire year Will do
all in his mighty power to see that ali
| eligible maidens earn the windings OF
the path to the altar.
We bachelors must organize II We
are to preserve our single and individ-
ual rights said one of them. Were
lost II we attempt to fight the batt!t
individually.
why do we fear marriage? Listen.
Aesop tells us that the frogs had Il
would not leap into 81 Well because they
could moi get out again. Old Aesop
may have been come comedian and
windjammer. but ] do not claim t.
have him beaten on This wisdom and
marriage game. Marriage is a dcs-
/ perate thing
1t was a shame to break the news
TO the perfectly nice young a who
lad .;lst purchased Il solitaire and has
| promised to place it on the fatal THIRD
finger nj his fair iovc On Christmas
! eve.
'.Pshav. j never thought OF that
| Ike said as he fixed his back hair. 1T
is leap year. isn't it? And I'm expect
ing tn get married next spring. Now
ali the fellows Will say hat she pro
| posed to me and | just know she did
not have the least idea I was going to
,,T.ninncN WHY she MAS S;tT11rjSpG ana
remarked about it being 50 sudden. But
1 can't postpone it until 1913. Oh, belly
hooks. I'm III AN awful pIcdicaIncnt."
Old Maids Forever.
Great rs the prospects for the yeai
may be. the girls are making no louc
boasts of their plans. In fact many OF
| them claim they a not thought of il,
and do not expect to mako use Of the
privilege. They're going right on H.
J their usual way enjoying life and not
; even thinking of getting married.
why, the idea" said the leader OF 9
club whose chief purpos is pleasure
and not the consideration or discussion
Of great national and historical events
What does leap year mean to us?
Nothing, absolutely nothing. You
must think VIC are anxious to get mar
ried and haven't had any chances. Why
| do you know tina during the last veal
I've turned down"--but that would be
| telling secret and personal affairs.
Others insist that they will leinair
| old maids forever, OF us long as they
| live, before they will take the lead il
| affairs OF he hcaSt. Their clubs are
| organized for purely social reasons anG
| man's name never is mentioned at the
meetings unless, of course. he is Il new
| conner To- the city, or has an automo-
| bile. or is good looking. on dances we'll.
or said something nice about some girl
| they all dislike or telephoncl the plesi-
| dent IT the club and offered to see her
home after the meeting. Aside from
these. and II few other trivial reasons
the discussions are confined to- feminine
topics. So naturally the advent of II
leap year means absolutely nothing to
the girls.
"Of course, said one member" III on
of us happens to accept Il propose.
| made during this leap year. it is ne
sign that she took advantage OF thi
| situation
But. in any case, the men are sus.
picious and intend to keep Il w~atchfuI
v during the year. They propose t.
take no unnecessary chances, il one
may believe. their. statements. Least
Of all will they perform amy rash deeds
Oh February %. which is the one odd
lay in the calendar that makes 1871. a
leap year. 1t comes only once in four
ears and marks the ps Rod when tiadi-
ION grants woman the opportunity OF
Gaping at Il chance To enter the mar.
led state.
The bachelors are lnuking the accusa-
ion and the maidens claim they will
ct the chance so by default.
Startling revelations are promised when
ne congressional committees resume. their
,vestigetions of the trusts. 1t IL eviient.
cveiat.ons could g,irprise The public"
Philadelphia North Americans.