davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
Wall OF MODERN BENEDICT
Adaptation That Aims to SGT Forth
the Trials and Tribulations
That Beset Life.

1. My wife is. my boss, shall not
deny.
2. She maketh me lie down behind
the bed when the swell company
comes. and she leadeth me behind her
up Main street
3. She restoreth my pocketbook
after she has spent all its contents on
hobble skirts and theater tickets, and
she leadeth me up the main aisle of
church for her new. hats sake.
4. Yea, though I walk more than
half the night through dark rooms
with crying baby, will get no rest
for she is behind me; her broomstick
and her hatpin they do everything
else but comfort me.
5. She prepareth cold snack for
me. then maketh beeline for an aid
society supper. She anointeth my
head with the rolling pin occasional
ly. My arms runneth over with bun
dies before she is half done her shop
ping.
6. Surely her dressmaker's and milli-
merry bills shall follow me all the days
of my life and l will dwell in the
house of my wife forever.-Exchange
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
His Apprenticeship
copyright. 1871. by Associated Literary Pre...1
By DONALD ALLEN

Mr.. John Degraw. the sturdy
steady old broker and banker. sat in
the library of his office at home
waiting for his SON Perry to come in
for an Interview. Perry was a young
man OF tWenty-eight, and there had
been interviews in the past-many
interviews. They had been held for
Perry's benefit. but he had not
seemed to benefit thereby
This was to be sort of farewell
interview. Not that the father ex-
pected to die soon. or expected his
son to die, or intended to turn him
outdoors, but he had been saving up
some vigorous opinions for year
past which We're to be delivered on
this occasion
1t may be said of Mr.. Perry De-
graw that he had an income-he be-
longed to three clubs-he thought he
he was no masher. In spite of all
he could do to be tremendous fell
low, he was considered to have prin-
ciples and to be harmless. Perry
was not college graduate. He had
developed no talent for business or a
profession. He was just taking
things easy and getting ready to
shoot tigers in India and elephants
In Africa. The father had fretted
and fumed more or less, but there
had been no change.
Enter the son for the interview
The father sat with stern look on
his face.
"Oh, now, governor. say, don't
greet a fellah this way" said Perry.
who had on his English morning suit
and was speaking to match the
checks.
Son." said the father after long
look at him. you are an asst"
"B'jove. governor!"
"A silly ass, Perry!"
you can't mean it,"
Five times; ten times over. You
are a cipher. You have a cabbage
head on your shoulders. You would
not know enough to come in when 1t
rained il policeman didn't give you
q shove"
"Am l too fast. governor?" asked
the astonished Perry.
TOO fast! Why, son. you don't
know the meaning Of the word. You
couldn't be fast. You were never
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
ARE YOU FREE
FROM

Headaches. Colds. Indigestion.
Pains. Constipation. Sour Stomach.
Dnziness2 II you are not, the most
efeetive. prompt and pleasant
method Of getting nd Of them is to
lake. now and then. a desertspoon-
Eul Of the ever refreshing and truly
beneficial laxative remedy-Syrup
Of Figs and Elixir Of Senna. 1t is
well known throughout the world
as the best Of family laxative reme-
dies. because it acts so gently and
strengthens naturally without irrii-
tatng the system in any way.
To get its beneficial effects it is
always necessary to buy the genu-
inc, manufactured by the California
Fig Syrup Co.. bearing the name
Of the Company. plainly printed On
The font Of every package.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
From Paris Comes an innovation
Which Will Eliminate Present
clews to Menu Of Host.

Chicago-And now 1T is odorless
cookery.
Straight from Paris. and also from
master chef Of that epicurean met.
ropolis. has come the latest item of
elimination by which modern civiliza.
ton makes its progress. and a bevy
or Chicago Matrons, young women
who have come out" and others soon
to do the same crowded the instruc.
ton rooms of the Chicago School of
Domestic Arts and Sciences to learn
OF the newest thing In cookery.
For no longer are palates to be
tickled and mouths to water on
Thanksgiving morning at the frag.
rance Of roasting turkey. and the
higher cost Of turkey will not neces.
sarily be responsible.
No longer are the breezes to watt
more OF frying onion and boiling cab.
bage from your neighbor's kitchen to
your living rooms than that neighbor
gets when his dinner is served.
And never more will houses become
saturated with stale "reminiscences OF
the failures and mistakes Of cooks
who might have been more accom-.
plished in their vocation.
Investment in few paper bags Il
all that Is necessary for the new style
Of cookery. It Is almost utensil-less
as well as odorless. and the hours and
energy employed in scraping pots and
pans hereafter will DO saved.
The greater part Of an elaborate
dinner Was placed In . single com.
partmsnt OF one oven BY cookery stu.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
YANKEE ANKLES TOO BEEFY
"7etter Fifty Years Of Europe Than
an lnstep Of Back Bay" Para.
phrases Rriton In Boston.

Boston.-Literary England doesn't
like the ankles of the women of Amer
lea. Alfred Tennyson Dickens, son
of the novelist and godson Of the poet.
cries aloud in paraphrase of his god
father:
Better fifty years Of Europe than
an instep Of Back Bay"
At the City club Mr.. Dickens told
the sad story Of how, walking about.
his eyes cast down. presumably
through homesickness for London, he
caught glimpse of Boston ankles
and how his soul cried out In horror:
"Beefy! Beefy as Mrs. Micawber's
owni"
Mr.. Dickens said later he was only
attempting to be little humorous in
a lard where he had heard humor
was lightly thought Of He gave his
word not to touch on such dainty
topic sgain as long as he lived.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02

drunk in your life You never had
over two cocktails in an evening.
You never won or lost over SIS on a
horse race. The newspapers never
refer to you as high roller"
But. Governor. the fellahs all
say
ut know it. They all say that you
are a would-be. but you haven't the
brains to blossom out. Sorry for you,
som mighty sorry l know Just how
you must feel"
But this isn't fair, doncher know"
protested Perry.
There you go with another of your
sap-headed words! Lord, but what
all empty pate! You spent three
months in London. and you came
back with English clothes and Eng
lish donchers.' Does an Englishman
go back home from the States to ape
US and make fool of himself?"
That's new one on me, Governor.
must get that off at the club. Is
the interview at an end?"
Almost l just want to say that
the other day you quite finished your
career as braying ass. 1t has come
to my ears that you made a wager
with another Of your ilk that you
would have the widow Strong in love
with you within year."
Yes, GOVERNOR bet Of ten dol
lars, complacently replied the son.
And you have never even been in
troduced to herr"
"Nevar, Gov"
by thunder. but you are forty
fools rolled into one! What's father
to do with such an offspring?"
"Oh, I'll win the wager all right,
Got me little plan all worked out.
It's tremendous, Gov.-postively tre-
mendous. You will be surprised when
1t unfolds. You will discover that
your son Perry has brains after all.
B'jove you'll pat me on the back
after It's all Overt"
The father turned away and looked
out Of the window for q moment. and
then quietly said:
Perry. We have never had . fool
in the family that I have heard Of.
and don't like the idea. It seems
that must put up With II. however.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
THE TEA PENALTY.
"A Strong Mans Experience.

Writing from busy railroad town
The wife of an employe Of one Of tho
great roads says:
My husband is railroad man who
has been so much benefited by the use
of Postum that he wishes me to ex-
press his thanks to you for the good
1t has done him. His waking hours
are taken ZIP with his work, and he
has no time to write himself.
HE has been a great tea drinker
all his life and has always liked 1t
strong.
Tea has, OF late years. acted on
him like morphine does upon most
people. At first it soothed him, but
only for an hour or so, then 1t began
to affect his nerves to such an extent
that he could not sleep at night, and
he would go to his work In the morn
ing wretched and miserable from tho
loss of rest. This condition grew con-
stantly worse, until his friends per-
suaded him, some four months ago. to
quit tea and use Postum.
'At first he used Postum only for
breakfast but as he liked the taste OF
it, and it somehow seemed to do him
good. he added 1t to his evening meal.
Then, as he grew better. he began to
drink it for his noon meal. and now
he will drink nothing else at table.
His condition Is so wonderfully i'm.
proved that he could not be hired to
give up Postum and go back to tea.
His nerves have become steady and
reliable once more, and his sleep is
easy, natural and refreshing.
He owes all this to Postum. for he
has taken no medicine and made no
other change In his diet.
His brother. who was very nervous
from coffee-drinking. was persuaded
by US to give up the coffee ana use
Postum and he also has recovered his
health and strength" Name given By
Postum Co., Battle Creek. Mich.
Read the little book, THE Road to
Wellville." In pkgs. There's reason =
Ever read tie abeve lstte1s new
oDe apDeeRs from t10e q 11sno. TA0Y
aPe 0enu11e, tF0os 00A Hu11 q hUa0o
lDl0s0ot.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
British Statesman Would Rear
range Months Of Year.
Every Month Would Begin on Sunday
New Year Day and Leap Year
Separate-Many Other Novel
Features in Scheme.

London.-Sir Henry Dalziel. leader
of the ultra-radfcals in the house Of
commons, the father Of the bill which
aims at giving Scotland local self
government had just had prepared a
bill to alter the calendar. This bill.
known as the fxed calendar bill. con-
tains some novel features. AS the
memorandum which accompanies 1t ex-
eplains. the bill purposes to substitute
for the present irregular calendar a
fixed calendar having regular periods.
of which the week is the common
measure.
In this, as in other features, 1T diff
fers from the calendar reform bill, In
troduced in the house OF commons in
1909, but which never got beyond the
second reading stage
That bill sought to make the months
as uniform in length as possible. but
as difference in this respect is un.
ayoidable in year with IL months, 1t
is thought better to increase that diff
ference so as to allow of the week be-
ing common measure of all months.
This arrangement makes 1t possible
for each month to begin on Sunday
and end on Saturday.
A table giving the proposed fixed
calendar shows that the months Of
January. February. April May, July,
August. October and November would
each consist Of % days. while the re.
naming months of March, June. Sep.
tember and December would each
have 35 days. New Year day" is set
apart. thus bringing the total Of days
up to the requisite number OF 365 days.
while tor leap year special day is
set apart for Leap day." which is to
be intercalated between the last day
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
Mosquito Saved III. Life.

Sharon. PA mosquito saved the
life OF John Mahoney the other day.
He was passing building in course of
construction when a workman on the
top floor accidentally dropped heavy
hammer.
At the same instant mosquito tried
to alight on Mahoney's nose. causing
him to jerk his head backward The
hammer grazed his face and Clipped a
piece out Of the stone pavement,
Had the hammer struck Mahoney on
the head 1t would have crushed his
skull. Mahoney declared that the
mosquitoes attack was SO vicious that
the pain had caused him to throw his
head back. saving his life
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
Judae is Expert With Needle.

Hot Springs. 8. D.-Emmett B.
Cook. Justice Of the peace, aged 81
years, devotes several hours every day
to the making of fancy work. One Of
the features of the exhibit at the state
fair from this county will be crazy
quilt made ny him
Sewing is Mr.. Cooks hobby. He
learned 1t as child. Although once
famous in New York state as 4 ball
player, he has become more noted for
doing fancy work.
Since the death of his wife, few
years ago. he has lived alone. He de.
voted several hours each day to his
crazy quilt patches.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
Buy Land bx the Inch.

Louisville, Ky.-Public-spirited citi
zens Of a West Louisville neiRhbor
hood are buying lot $50 feet square
at the rate of about $1.25 a front inch
When the lot is all sold 1t will be
presented to the trustees Of the Louis.
vile free library as a site for q new
branch. tho money for which IL In
hand. but awaiting presentation Of Z
site. No site donor coming forward
the people devised . novel scheme q
raise $500 for the site.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
Few Cite. In india.

There are few cities in India. Its
stupendous population consists OF
farm laborers India Is one vast farm
-one almost interminable stretch Of
fields. 1t is a beautiful country-beau-
tiful rivers. beautiful mountains It 10
q land of abundant life. Tho jungles
are full Of animals. the air Is alive
with birds and fowls Of almost all
kinds. the waters are alive with fish.
Vegetable life is abundant and varied
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
Hl. Last Word.

Here is one case where the husband
had the last word and possibly scored
a point 1t was during a little spat.
His wife had been talking for ten min
utes without letup and the end came
only when she asserted vehementiy.
There, hope I've made myself
plain!" Made yourself plain. my
dear!" he replied. Why. bless your
heart, | didn't know you had anything
to do with 1t. Thought you were born
that way"
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
wh.t.oever Thy Hand FIndeth.

II have been a great deal happier .
she said at last, "since I've given up
thinking about what IL easy and pleas
ant and being discontented because
I could not have my own will Our
life is determined for us-and Il
makes the mind very free whom "
give up wishing and only think Of
bearing what - laid upon ~. and DO.
ting what 70 given 10 70 do."-oeoe0s
Gl1ot
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
ASK NEW CALENDAR

of June and the first day Of July, as re-
constituted by the bill.
A clause in the bill provides that
the New Year day and Leap day shall
not be accounted days Of the week.
and shall not. except where specially
mentioned or provided for, oe held to
be included in any computation Of days.
but shall otherwise be public bank
holidays. The conditions O. labor on
these days. and the remuneration
ther ,for. under the bill. would conform
as far as possible to what prevails on
Sundays. A fixed date. April Is. is se-
lected for Easter day.
Finally. the bill. If passed by parlla-
ment. will not become operative until
the government decides that sufflcient
international concurrence has been Sc
cured
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-02
NEWEST THING IN COOKING

dents of the School of Domestic Arts
and Sciences this morning. And
when onions. trout. bacon. baked ap-
pies. potatoes. stuffed tomatoes and
several other edibles were cooking
steadily at the same time. nose held
SO close to the oven as to be in dan
ger OF scorching could not detect any
odor whatever.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-06-23

FOR RENT-Three pleasant furnished
rooms for light housekeeping, with
private bath. 697 Oakley ave. Ham
mond. left
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-06-23
PRODUCE MARKET.

Butter-Receipts, II 1854 tubs; cream
cry, extra, csc; price to retail dealers,
24kc; prints. 25He; extra frsts. zee;
firsts, zoe. seconds. 19c; dairies, extra,
21c; frsts, 19c; seconds. tic; ladies', No.
1. tic; packing, 16c-
Eggs-Receipts, 1898 cases; miscel-
laneous lots, cases returned. 11@1112c;
cases returned. 1o11 Ollie: ordinary
firsts. 12cs frsts. must he as per cent
fresh, 13c; prime firsts, packed in new
whitewood cases ana must be 65 per
cent fresh, lac; extra. specially packed
for city trade and must be 80 per cent
fresh TIC; No. l dirties. 1oc. checks 7c
Potatoes Receipts, 33 cars; choice
to fancy. $1,000 LOS per Blu.
New potatoes Receipts. 3 cars;
choice to fancy, $215Q2.25; yirginias.
per bril-. $3.50 900.
veal--5o to so-lbs. sa9c; o5 to SIS lbs
9G10c. IS to 100 lbs, 10Q11c; s5 to
LIS lbs. Inc; heavy. Sc
Dressed beef-Isibs No. !. lie: No
loins. 15bfc; No. / round. 1oMc; No.
chuck 2c: No. / plate, 415c.
Live poultry--Turkeys. per lb. 12c:
spring turkeys. 12c; chickens. fowls
11hc; ROSTERS, Sc: broilers, $50 zoe;
ducks. &c: geese, &C.
choice. 1880 200; fair to good. $3.50
1876; red kidney, S3.25@s.65; brown
Swedish. s2.Ooq2.s5; limas. California
per 100 lbs. $3.50.
Green egetables-Asparagus $1,000
2.5o per box: beets. s1.5092.0o per box:
cabbage per crate, s1.00Q1.25: carrots.
s1.00 per box; cucumbers. 60QS5c per
doz; caulifiower, 50c4$1o0 per box /.
celery, 25Q75c per box; horserad-
ish, CSC per doz stalks; eggplant, cas- e,
75cQ s1.75; green onions, bunch. SC;
green peas. s1.75Q2.o0 per box; lettuce.
head. tub, 500 4oc;; leaf. "a loo case:
mushrooms, $50 soc per doz; onions,
$3.50 q ZOO per Gunner crate; parsley.
| 40c per doz; peppers. crate, $1.0OQ15 so;
| pieplant. S0 10c bunch; radishes. 100.
| soc s1.00; string beans, $500 a 800 per
| hamper; spinach. 50 q 40c per tub; sweet
corn. per brl, s2.5043 co. SQUASH crate.
| 20 q 35c: tomatoes. 50Q1.00 per crate:
| turnips. $500 per 100.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-06-23
COUPLE HAD
KNOT RETIED

Crown Point. Ind. June 23.-Fearfng
that their marriage, with regard to the
Illinois divorce laws was not perfectly
legal on account of their not waiting
the required length of time after secur
ing their divorce decree. Mr.. and Mrs.
Frank Woodford McCasky of Chicago.
had the knot retied here yesterday and
now have the sanction of the Indiana
law to their union. The second mar
riage ceremony is said to have been a
matter of sentiment between the con-
tracing parties, as their first maria ge.
contracted in good faith would have
been legal. The couple left Crown
Point satisfied that they are now man
and wife in all the certainty that fol-
lows the observance of man made laws
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-06-23

CONTINUED from Page IL
boarded a Gary & Interurban car and
left for Gary. Here some more ice
cream was INDUCED in the young peo-
Pile returning to East Chicago al about
o'clock Miss Davis seemed much
fatigued and at first 1t was thought
that her condition was due to the heat.
At 4:30 she was violently ill and DR..
Schlieker was called in. He pronounc-
ed her condition one OF collapse from
the heat, but presently unmistakabie
signs of ptomaine poisoning appeared
For several hours the patients life
was despaired of, but at 10 o'clock she
fell asleep and seemed to be resting
easily From that time on none of
the violent symptoms which had mark
ed her condition previously, manifested
themselves and this morning she was
greatly improved
Her family say that they do not
think anything she ate at luncheon
could have caused the trouble. and at
tribute 1t to the ice cream. 1t Is be-
lieved that part. or all OF it could not
have been what it should have been,
an dthis coupled with the heat, caused
the attack
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-06-23
WHITING AND HARbOR
NESTLE LITTLE CLOSER
Three Miles Cut off Between
Those Two Thriving
Cities.
Especial to TIE TINES,

Indiana Harbor. Ind, June 23. -
Downey = Portz, contractors. are at
work grading the canal road prelimin-
airy to paving it. When the job is COM
pleted Indiana Harbor will have a di-
rect route to Whiting, which will be
tn emeans of cutting off about three
miles between these two towns, making
the trip only incident whereas in
the past 1T has been a Journey" The
contractors are now working in l33rd
street and have completed about 1000
feet of the grading
The road as are all Of the county
highways. will be constructed with
Stag foundation and a top dressing OF
crushed limestone. 1t will be twenty
feet wide and about a mile and third
in length. 1t begins at Forsythe ave.
nue. and goes east on 133rd street to
the E., J. & Z. tracks, paralleling the
right of way as far as Michigan avenue.
Indiana Harbor has been lighting for
a long time for direct outlet to
Whiting and the Canal road will be the
solution of this question. There is an
other road In contemplation, which is
known as the Dickey place road, but
this is opposed by some and is now in
the courts.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-06-23
TEAMS To
CLASH At
BALL GAME
Especial to THE TIMEs)


Indiana Harbor. Ind, June 2S.-There
will be a baseball game between the
business men of Indiana Harbor and
East Chicago at the Indiana Harbor
ball park on Thursday, July IS.
This was decided at a meeting OF the
finance committee of the United Chart
ties Association Of which c. B. Burdick
is chairman, and which met last night
at the Commercial club of Indiana Har-
Dor and East Chicago.
Parties interested in the proposed
game have been at work for several
days planning quietly for the event and
DIR. f. e. Stephens, the manager oe
the Indiana Harbor crowd, announ ced
that he has already selected his team.
Joe Harley will look after the East
Chicago team and Mack Foland's name
has been proposed as one of the UNI
pires. a second umpire to be selected
from Indiana Harbor-
Tickets will be placed on sale within
a few days and letters will be sent to
business men and manufactures solicit
ing them to purchase boxes from which
to view the game. 1t is quite likely
the boxes will be auctioned off at the
big game July between East Chicago
and Indiana Harbor. No boxes will be
sold for less than $40 and the sale will
close July or before.
Mrs, Charles Egbert will have charge
of the sale of tickets in Indiana Har-
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-06-23
Will Inspect Gary.

Tomorrow afternoon the zoe Wabash
train Will bring to Gary 100 members
of the Cook County Real Estate Board.
who will come from Chicago to inspect
the marvels of the steel city. While
in town the visiting earth sellers VIII
be the guests OF the Gary Commercial
club.
President H S. Norton stated today
that automobiles would be provided for
the Cook county delegation. They WIKI
be taken to the Ridge road and Toll
lesion district and then through Gary
property. Following this a visit will
be paid to the steel mills.
Charles Ringer of Cheltenham. South
Chicago, is chairman of the Gary trip
committee.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-06-23
CASH GRAIN MARKET

Winter wheat by sample: No. 2 red.
9o@e114c; No. red, s9@9oc; No. 2
hard, e0A @93c; No. 5 hard. $50 Gle.
Spring wheat by sample: No. l
northern, sscQs1.03; No. . northern, &c
@$1.02: No. 3 spring. 9o@ CSC.
Corn by sample No. 2, 56A a 81 Il c:
No. white, STA a 57%c; No. yellow,
57A Q5sc: No. 3. 561a @57$4c; No. 3
white. 5Tq57Hc. No. 8 yellow, $40
size: No. 4, "a @ 55c.
Oats by sample: No. 2, 4o14 941ci
No. white, 4s@43&c; No. 3, 40c; No
3 white, 42A 043Ac; No. white. 4254
@42He; standard. 43@43Ac.