St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-01-07
She Won a
Prize

Haven't you ever lived in a fat?''
asked the young woman suburbanite
of her neighbor. well, all I've got to
say is that you're luckier than most
We did-once.
"a flats no place for us, of all peo-
ple-seven kids in the family, and four
Of them boys that always were used
to house and didn't know how to
close doors softly and not drop their
boots when they 60 to bed and refrain
from playing the piano at night after
they ought to quit. But we did live
In fiat for while, in the suburbs.
and Just underneath us we had some
other people that never ought to have
lived in fiat, either
"At least, the man oughtn't. His wife
didn't mind a reasonable amount Of
racket, but when he was home, my
goodness, you couldn't sneeze but he'd
hear you and kick like a steer.
Zone night we had little party, we
kids, and of course we were having
fun. 1t wasn't late-only about quar-
ter to ten-but he got the landlord and
brought him up into our hall and stood
him opposite our door, and told him
just to listen. That's the kind of man
our landlord was.
"The night we heard he was going
to move we gave him a parting sere-
made with everything we could find
that would make noise. from the
dish-pan and potato-masher up to
Rob's cornet.
But l didn't start to tell you about
that. What was thinking of was how
there never is any place to put things
in fiat and the time that Anne and
went to the Thanksgiving party and
Anne won a goose in a guessing con-
test.
What? No. that was the worst of
TIT wasn't dead goose. It was a
live one, with all its feathers on, and
a voice! My goodness, that goose had
q voice!
"They made US take it along and we
walked home with that idiotic thing In
our arms. Every once in while IL
would look up at Anne and squawk,
and then we'd have to sit down on the
curbstone and laugh for few minutes
before we could go on. You've no idea.
how loud 1t sounded in those empty
streets. / know everybody in the
place thought we were crazy.
well, anyhow, we got home with
that goose The minute we got inside
the vestibule it had another squawk-
ing fit. Anne tried to smother 1t In
her petticoat, but that only made 1t
squawk worse.
"We set 1t down on the stairs and
tried to pacify it. remember that
Anne said Poor kitty! and Sob,
boss!' and 'Hushaby, mothers lamb
and l tried to sing it lullaby. but l
couldn't do anything but snort
Anne suggested that we tie it to
the nervous mans door with a string
and let it squawk-it would distract
his attention from us, anyway. But
said that meant to keep that goose
now that we'd got 1t home. So we
went upstairs and unlocked the door
to our apartment
"Then Anne told me to wait a MIN
ute. That thing will keep US all
awake If we let 1t squawk all night
she said. I've got an elastic band in
my pocket book, and I'm going to
muzzle It,
Pretty soon she found a strong,
healthy, thick, elastic band, and though
we nearly died doing it, we got it on
that gooses spout The beast insisted
on turning It's head to look at us all
the time, too and when we finally had
it on the noise 1t made trying to
squawk through the muzzle was worse
than before, though, Of course, 1t didn't
have quite as much volume.
well, as said, there isn't any
place to put things In a fiat. When we
got to looking around for place to
put the goose we were stumped.
II suppose geese ought to roost,
oughtnt they? But there didn't seem
to be anything like a roost In the fiat
except the mahogany hatrack. and
mammals very choice of that knew
she wouldn't stand for any geese
roosting there. So just as was about
to give up and put 1t under our bed
Anne suggested that we keep it in the
bathtub.
"I wish you could have seen that
creature slithering around on the
porcelain bottom of the bathtub try.
ing to squawk through the elastic band
and looking reproachfully at us. Hon
estly, 1t would have given mourning
angel the hiccoughs. Anne suggested
turning on the water, but I said
wasn't going to make that poor goose
exercise ali night. SO we left 1t dry
and went to bed
Mother was the one who found it
in the morning. She went to take her
bath early, and when she met the
goose face to face she let out a shrek
that brought every soul in the flat out
of bed with one jump.
I'VE rushed to the bathroom and
found mother in her kimono and curl
papers, sitting on the rug and having
as nice a fit of Mysteries as anybody
ever saw.
1--WE didn't hear the last of our goose
for weeks-1ong after II was GRO
| quotes.
, 1--WE moved at the end of the year
Mother said 1t was too trying to live
where there wasn't any place to put
things when you brought 'em home.
Anne and didn't blame her bit"
The Child and the Light.