The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-03
WHISPERS OR BALD CRAN|UM- M--WH|CH? Famous Statesmen Debate
 Serious Problem NEITHER SIDE WINS Nick Longworth and Senator Rob- ert Taylor Lock Horns With
 Uncle Joe" Cannon and
 Senator Carter

Washington, May 2.-Whether whiskers are greater detriment to a man than a bad head, still is a mooted question. Four of the ablest men in public life de- bated the subject before the National Press club here tonight. The bout was under Marquis of Queensbury rules and when the bell ranG-the referee threw up his hands in despair.
 Speaker Champ Clark of the House of Representatives, taken on in the emers- ency, said he could not see any use In either whislers or bald head. and re- ferred the whole matter to the ways and means committee of the House, which now has the wool and hair schedule un- der consideration.
 The bald-headed side of the question was in the hands of Senator Robert L. Taylor of Tennessee, and Representa- tive Nicholas Longworth of Ohio. The whiskers found their champions in former Senator Thomas H. Carter of Montana and Uncle Joe" Cannon of Illinois
 Messrs. Taylor and Longworth entered the ring amid cheers and applause. Their hairless domes sparkled beneath
  Senator Carter and "Uncle Joe" came with their whisl<ers combed for the fray. The shouts that greeted them were deaf ening.
 Dr. Pure Food" Wiley of the depart ment of agriculture was chosen as time keeper and each contestant was allowed 10 minutes Scott C. Bone represented the Press club as referee during hostli- ties, but gave way to Speaker Clark at the end. The audience was gathered from every part of the country and included most of the prominent men in Wash ington. The absence of a verdict pre- vented any money from changing hands
 Representative Longworth was the first speaker. He said he did not believe that a hair on the head was worth two on the chin. Neither was he willing to as sume that a baldhead, provided he should be considered bald, was in any sense a handicap either in public or private life. Mir Longworth claimed that on his birth day every man has a choice between hair and brains. His choice, he said, was ap parent.
 "The condition of the disputants on the other side is inexcusable, asserted MT. Longworth. "In olden days whskers were excusable-they were sworn by-but nowadays they are only sworn at. There is no excuse for such whskers as those that adorn the chin-or chest-of the for mer senator from Montana. I claim that wniskers are insanitary and l appeal to the tmekeeper to uphold me.
 The timelSeeper promptly called time. MT. Longworth insisted that he had been interrupted and that these interruptions should not be taken from his time.
 Dr. Wiley insisted that the interrup tions were the best part of the argument.
 Senator Carter was introduced as "Ex- hibit A" for the whiskers
 "No man." he said. lever voluntarily wore a bald head. A bald head is an af fiction, standing joke, physical in firmity We pity, but we do not blame, our opponents.
 Senator Carter insisted that the "beard" was the real thing. He ridiculed mustaches.
 "No fair maiden he said, lever feared a promise from a bearded man. The beard is a badge of manhood. A bearded man needs only opportunity. The first man to cut off beard was Alex ander the Great It was a brutal meas use of warfare-to prevent antagonists from sezng the soldiers by the beard. Let us all wear boards and there will be no more warfare in this troubled world of ours"
 Senator Taylor, introduced as an Ivory Pated Moses of the Tennessee Democ- racy" said when MT. Cannon was speaker of the house he shook pestilence and war from his horrid beard. He dwelt upon the nobility of the bald peaks of the mountains and the badness of the American eagle circling about them in the Azure atmosphere.
 "Once I had raven tresses,'' Senator Taylor said wistfully, but like autumn leaves they left me. Ever since I, lost them have had horror of hair and su- preme contempt for whiskers On the other hand have always admired a bald head as a symbol of purity and inno- cefce."
 Uncle Joe'' Cannon. asserting he had never been funny in his life-at least not consciously so-quoted from a writer who was in Turkey recently and who said the saddest man he found in the empire had a bald head. He was the harem guard.
 He that hath beard" said the form CT speaker, quoting Shakespeare, lis more than a youth and he that hath no beard is less than a man. Hair upon the face always has been an evidence of man. hood'
 When Speaker Clark was called upon to settle the dispute he said that Uncle Joe'' had protested against his presence at the party on the ground that he neither had whiskers nor bald head. MT. Clark said he would not have missed the debate for the world, despite the fact that his wife did not want him to come.
 'She said there was not any sense in the whole performance" he said. MT. Clark insisted that the reason that a majority of men no longer wear whiskers was because they were all trying to look like William Jennings Bryan He rather rapped the whiskerites when he said that a good looking man could afford to have a smooth face, while an ugly one had better keep his beard
 Observe, gentlemen" he concluded "that have a smooth face"