Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-19

siA'' ~ 'N>N wv ~ 0'A. 30
p~otatoes and radishes. A man. with a
vigorous onion in his pocket doesn't
make q great hit and we always car
ried the onion. AT the end of the three
weeks We promptly stepped on the
scales.
When we started In to be a vege-
tartan we weighed ZIG pounds dressed
and after three weeks of vegetarianiSm
we weighed only 232 and had lost most
OF our friends through the onion QUITE.
Never again.
a GOOD FRIEND OF NINE.
| like to go round with a feller | know.
He amt so blamed handsome as
handsome men go.
Hes not very brightand sometimes 1
most think
That he is Just slightly on the blink.
He doesn't talk science or music or art,
or try his discernlncnt on me to inn
part.
He doesn't talk shop or the state OF
my health,
or bore me to death with visions of
wealth.
'Tis q joy TO go tramping with him
amy day.
Because of the things that I'm sure he
won't say.
He hasn't a fad that he tries hard to
spread,
He hasn't a single new thought in his
head.
But it's mighty consolin' to have him
around.
l know him clear through, ron his hat
to the ground:
With me he has always been right on
the square,.
And I'd trust him with all Of my coin
Anywhere.
He has told me the truth when a good
downright lie
Would have been a much pleasanter
thing, hope to die;
For to tell you the fact. he's a good
friend of mine,
About the best friend that Nv got. I
Opine.
Ills hard to describe him. so.Ill just
That he's only a common plain sort
of skate.
He amt worth a glance from a WIN
dow to see.
My friend whom I speak of is no one
but ME.
THE CORN DANCE.
The corn dance now is all the go
Out in the rural parts,
The red ear and it's we'll earned buss
Clements the loving hearts.
A corr dance is a pleasant thing
To go to don't you know,
Providing that the corn is on
The other fellows toe.
TIE NEW CULT.
civilian H. Crane. the actor, has
established a new cult. whose principal
fad is to eat. He has cured himself of
dyspepsia which he suffered 80 years
by eating everything he wants every
time he wants it,.
Now says William Henry Crane:
When you have got a little pain,
Just eat!
But when dyspepsia shakes our frame
I Don't nrnnor n tn Nv1ff thu ~
But eat!
When you've got the tummy ache,
Don't give up for n,ercy's sake;
Grab a good big sirloin steak
And eat and eat!
Don't go round forlorn and sad
When you think you're feeling bad,
But eat!
Don't make up your mind to die.
Get a slab of good mince pie,
And eat!
When YOU dizzy head careens.
Just forget what sickness means,
Buy a plate of pork and beans,
And eat and eat!
Give lumbago and the grip
And paralysis the slip.
And eat!
If appendicitis tries
To promote you to the skies,
Just eat!
Wnen tnG little mlCrODe lmpS
Into you would put the crimps,
. Buy a ala made Of shrimps,
And eat, and eat!
NOAH WEBSTER DOWN TO DATE.
Chaffeur-Man who is wise enough
to run an automobile, but too wise to
own one.
Politician-Man who can make a liv-
ing without working at 1t.
Weather Man-One whose predic-
tions are bound to come true, some
, time.
, Barber-An expert conversationalist.
> Umpire-The lowest known form of
: animal life.
Buckwheat ~Cake-Tough disc shape
article containing 10 parts buckwheat
and 80 parts Indigestion. used by the
ancients as an article OF food.
THE EDITORS CHANCE.
. The editor sat In his office chair.
+. Rubbing his pate all devoid Of hair.
; Reading his paper with l~istless air.
Scanning q want ad appearing there.
A want ad that read like this:
"Wanted-A man who will all day.
And work all night at q small boys
pay.
: One who is tranquil amid the fray.
Patient n humble in every way
When anything goes amiss
: ! Must rave q broad n a learned
. Must bear the troubles OF all mankind.
d II MIN0f emilia 0nlA AZ ~ vrykA~ -