The Cairo bulletin., 1911-02-23
A Deserter
By EDWARD B. TAPPAN
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation, 1911.

butternut entered the camp of regi-
ment Of Tcnnesseeans and said to an
officer he met:
| Cap, when you uns goin' to fight
the Yankees"
| The othcer wss passing on when the
man in butterV> called to him,
Say, cap. want to enlist"
"Who are you. and where do vow
come from?" asked the officer, molli-
fed at the prospect of a recruit.
! I'm Ben Riggs, and / hail from
Tennessee"
| "Tennessee? This regiment is from
Tennessee"
"Waal, thar's whar hail from. Some
Union men driy' me out. come over the
mountings To- to jine this yere army"
Riggs was enlisted and turned over
to drillmaster. After three days
hard drilling the sergeant went to the
captain and reported that it was sim
ply impossible to teach the Tennessee.
an the manual of arms. When he had
taught him movement the recruit
would forget 1t while he was teaching
a second one. He seemed to he anxious
to become soldier, but had no ca
pacity to learn anything. The sergeant
was told to do the best he could with
him and turn him into the ranks for
service.
, The first night Riggs was sent out on
picket he fired his gun and came run
tn, f,,11 nh ~.
picket line. Surprising him to be-
coward as well as stupid, at the next
brush he was put in the front rank,
but he stood up well, proving conclu-
sively that he was simply stupid.
Riggs stupidity was of the kind to
cause trouble. He went one day to the
brigade commander and asked him If
he had any tobacco. The general sent
him with a note to his captain, order
ing the officer in future TO keep this
fool away from these headquarters"
This mortified the captain, and he put
Riggs in the guardhouse. The colonel,
hearing of the episode, directed the
captain to release Riggs, since there
could be no criminality attached TO
the act of "blamed fool"
After this the captain spent most of
his time thinking how he could get rid
of Riggs. He tried surreptitlously to
have him transferred to another COM
pany, but the plot was discovered and
failed No other company would have
him. Then one day Riggs met the d.
,s1;a II nd
thought he would like position on his
staff. He was sent back with repri-
mand for his captain for not better
instructing his men in the proper rela-
ton Of a soldier to his commander
The captain now vowed he would
get rid of Riggs if he had to shoot
him. Whenever there was a fight he
put Riggs right in the middle of It,
but somehow the stupid fellow es-
capped, while the best men were being
shot down. After a weeks exposure
of Riggs. the fighting suddenly ceased.
! Then no sooner had Riggs got him
self furnished up than there was to
be grand review, at which he placed
his captain again in trouble Passing
the reviewing officer, he swung his
gun in the air and sang out:
'Three cheers for General CT
] Riggs captain was desperate. He
formed a malicious resolve. He would
put the fool in the position Of de-
serter and get him shot. He told Riggs
one morning that the Yankees were
offering bounties as high as thousand
dollars to any one who would enlist.
1t might be good move for Riggs to
desert, go over to the Yankees, enlist
and bring back the bounty.
"By jing," exclaimed the Ounce, "that
'ud be a good idee. I could set the
hull company up with that"
The captain offered to connive at his
desertion. He took Riggs out on the
picket line and told him to run for II.
The captain had arranged that the de-
serter must pass through narrow de-
file between two low hills, at the far.
Their en6 Of which were posted two
men who had been instructed to arrest
Riggs and bring him back to camp.
His trial and execution would speedily
follow.
Riggs triangulated his long legs SO
rapidly that when he met the men who
were to arrest him somehow he couldn't
stop. They attempted to head him off.
but he had got by them before they
reached his path. They fired at him.
whereupon he turned. shot one with
his musket and the other with his re.
volver and sped on II he was stupid
he was certainly quick, but quick for
the first time In his life.
"Wel," said his captain, I'm rid Of
him, though | fear he's really fool
enough to come back. However, If he
does he'll be shot for desertion."
But Riggs never returned. On reach
Ing the Federal pickets he asked to be
taken at once to the headquarters Of a
certain general.
hello, Baker, exclaimed the gen
eral. "You back! thought you'd
got yourself hanged by this time.
Hope you've got a lot Of information.
81 have, general. enlisted in the
rebel army as a Tennesseean--I didn't
saw from east Tennessee-and proved
so stupid that they wouldn't keep me-"
swell, what are they doing over
there" asked the general.
"stonewal Jackson has been with
drawn from the Shenandoah valley