davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23

REPRESENTATIVES, VICTOR MUIR.
~ DOCK. insurgent Republican, of
Kansas swager sherley of Kentucky
and Frank Clark OF Florida. both Dem,
aerats, have been fighting to have
every unspoksn speech" printed In
the Congressional Record labeled
something IKE this mot delivered In
the house OF representatives.
These men believe that the Record.
as It now leaves the press. perpetrates
4 fraud on the reader every time It de-
clares that Congressman - de.
llvcrsd the following speech on such
4 date, when all Congressman ----
lid was TO get permission to insert in
its columns n carefully prepared man,
uscTipt intended for the consumption
Of his constituents, at the expense of
the United States government
1T Is the only honest way" de.
clared Murdoch to the correspondent
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Officers Named for Imaginary Army

was more real, more tangible and
more formidable force than the ghost
" army Of United States volunteers.
It's a Joker In the Dick militia bin, en-
acted into law by congress on May "a,
1908.
The Dick bill originally provided for
an actual army OF United States Yoiun-
teers similar TO the volunteers who en-
listed for the Spanish-American war
after state organizations were found
TO be troublesome.
The bill also provided for separate
section for an eligible list from which
officers we're to be commissioned when
the army OF United States volunteers,
subject only TO the viii OF the com.
mander-in-chief Of the armies of the
United States, might be called into be-
ing in a condition OF war.
The section providing for the vol
unteer army was stricken from the bill
In the course Of a legislative wrangle
over the privilege OF the states to or
ganize volunteers. The authority Gre
ating the army was thus destroyed, but
the contingent section bringing into ex-
istence the list OF ellglbles for the
army's commissioned ofiifficers was not
disturbed. The bill thus passed con.
gress, disembodying the army but pro-
yidlng officers for 1t. That is why
the war department Is now qualifying
men as eliglbles.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Would Label the Unspoken Speeches.

The Record, under the present sys.
TEN, Is not a true report OF the pro-
ceedings of the house. II may well
be that an article Of value, prepared
by member of congress, should be
printed in the Record. but It should be-
SO designated.
But to my mind the greatest end
that would be attained under this sys.
tenn would be the shortening of
speeches in congress and the restora-
ton Of debate to a plane It once occu-
pied.
The first result of labelling things
in the record by their right names
would be the abandoning OF the pres.
ent abuse by individual representa-.
tives. When a mans constituents be-
gin to ask him, Did you really deliver
this speech. or did you Just have 1t
printed he will quit the practice.
Congress could not possibly afford
tho time that would be necessary for
the delivery Of all the speeches that
appear In the Record Therefore,
speeches will have to be shortened,
and they ought to be. No man needs
an hour In congress to explain an
idea. HALF an hour, and usually less,
ought to be enough for any man."
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Ice Cold Tea

IL delicious and heaithfuI
la this hot weather.
No drink II more refresh-
ing and lnyIgorating; but
make II right---foliow the
recipe.
brewing Of Tea requires
fresh water that has come
80 a furious boil, sleeping
Ave to mine minutes, then
pouring the liquid of the
Tea leaves Into another pot.
Follow this simple direc-
ton, and with the addition
OF u small slice of lemon Ii
makes q delicious, appetite
Ing and cooling drink lit
for the gods. ISut poor Tea
would spoil this drink.
tict good Tea.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
A HeartIess Father.

II need some help with my house
hold duties" announced woman
when her husband came home the
other night.
whats the matter with our daugh-
ter?" the husband wanted to know.
Our daughter? The idea! Why,
Jim, you know she's awfully delicate,
and she would die If she had to do
any household work. She has her
school, and"
And what? Her teachers report
shows that she isn't doing a bit Of
school work"
But she is the star member of her
basketball team, and you know she is
eager to take the prize at the gym
nasium contest. But that's just like
a man-wanting delicate girl to en-
gage in rough, hard labor. Be ashamed
of yourself, Jim jenkins! You have
no feeling"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Auto-Suggestion Way of Keeping Cool

A wtI4TED representative, John J.
"a Fitzgerald Of BROOKLYN, n. Y,
chairman OF the house appropriations
SommItteO. is the first distinguished
convert to Or. Harvey w, wiley's
theory with respect to the eject OF
autO.suggestiou on the temperature OF
the body, Mr. Fitzgerald sat at his
desk all through u sizzling. swelter,
Ing day wearing smile Of perfect
peace His coat was buttoued tight.
iy, the collar Of II turned up around
his neck. and every now and then he
shlyered with unreasonable delight,
Right in front of MIR, Fitzgerald a
large person with bushy black whts,
kers las ON his stomach on a snow
bank squirting through transit or
some other funny looking instrument
VI that sort To his right another
large person, clad in furs, sat on a
cake OF leo and scrubbed busIly In
Notebook In the middle distance
three Eskimo dogs fought over dead
lsh In the background dozens Of
stately ice barges tloated round easu-
ally,
I'm certainly happy that l foand
his painting OF the 'Farthest North
4 the Greedy expedition" said Mr.
fitzgerald. referring 20 the enormous
'anvas In front OF him, which, mas
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
4DEaF" BEGGAR COULD HEAR
Incident That Struck Householder as
Being Along Slightly Humor.
GUS Lines.

Many funny things happen in a
fiat during the course OF few
months" said Milwaukee fiat dwell
er, "but one OF the best things | ever
saw happened yesterday.
Il was suddenly reused from my
slumber by three loud knocks on the
door. Jumping TO my feet and into a
bathrobe, / fastened to see what was
wanted. opened the door in time
to see a young fellow half way up the
flight to the next floor.
Hello, there!' yelled at him.
He turned around. FASTENED back
and handed out a small envelope.
pointing to the inscription. glanced
at It. 1t was an appeal for aid be-
cause the applicant was deaf and
dumb.
Say, was mad enough to kick him
down stairs. Then the joke struck
me and slammed the door In his face
and went back to bed laughing"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
HAD BEEN SILENT SUFFERER
Subordinate Officer the Recipen. i,
Hints Intended for His
Superior.

A sea captains wife tells this storv
Of a maiden woman, sister of one =,
the owners Of the ship on which sbo
once made long voyage. She had
very decided opinion on most matter.
and she and the captain had mapv
spirited arguments at the dinner tabla
The captains wife, a meek, submis.
sive little soul, fearing that in tbs
heat of argument her husband might
say something to offend this august
passenger, was in the habit of kick
ing him on the shins to hint at moder
alton. Nevertheless, all these remind
ers passed unheeded.
One day she administered a mora
vigorous kick than usual, and noticed
an expression of pain fit across the
face of the mate, who sat opposite
her.
"Oh, Mr.. Brown, was that your
shin?" She asked.
Yes, Mrs. Blaikie," said the mate
meekly, hits been my shin hall the
voyage, ma'am. youths Companion.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
1.-THE Bard of odon."

Rev. George F. CuImer, 1.-The bard
of Odon," celebrated his eighty-sixth
birthday yesterday. Rev. Mr.. Gunner
was born May 20, 1925, in Kent, Eng
land, during the reign of George Fred
erick George W., for whom he was
named. At the time of his birth John
Quincy Adams was president of the
United States.
DR.. Culmer has been a minister for
many years in the Methodist Episco-
pal church until his advanced age
made 1t necessary for him to retire.
He is scholar and poet. Many of
his poems have been published in mag
azines and Washington
Correspondence Indianapolis News.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
An Erronaoua vInn.

Many are the stories told Of Father
fieaIy, the Irish priest, whose wit and
wisdom were well matched. One day a
vain youns woman. who had eragger.
ated ideas Of her own charms. told
him she feared that she had a be-
setting sin,
And what Is itfF asked Father
Hsaly. hts ahFewd eyes having dis.
eerned that bis neighbor at dinner
sslshed 20 be questioned,
!" u IL this" she said. her eyes de-
Tanfety cast down Every time ! pass
= locking glass think Of my beauty"
oh, said Father HeRly. that II no
sin my daughter, but perhaps II il a
slight mistake. just q little error OF
Judgment Youths Companion.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Willing to Support Proxy.

Albert Tiedemann, a freshman Of
the University of Pennsylvania, was
called upon to vote for officers in a
recent gathering. Not being we'll &C.
quainted with the nominees, he
thoughtfully hesitated before filling
out his ballot.
One of the company left the room
with the explanation that he would
vote by proxy"
so will l." said Albert, and with
his pencil poised above his paper,
leaned over to companion on his
right and asked:
Say, what's Proxy's first name ?"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
First Aid.

George AIDE, at luncheon In Chi
cago. paid gallant compliment to a
well-known actress.
The actress wore a harem skirt Of
the new fame color and Mr.. AIDE said
to her:
ut is pretty. And what an odd
color it is! Tell me the name of the
color"
"Flamme de Vesuve-fame of We
suvius," the actress answered.
BE 1abers," said Mr.. AIDE, we
make a vurry purity crater"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23

The kaiser is a great reader, and
while he tries to keep himself
abreast Of current events, his favo-
rite book is the Bible, says the Lon
don Chronicle. A we'll thumbed and
marked copy is always by his bed
side. When Mr.. Roosevelt visited
Berlin last year. the kaiser made him
present of number of books.
About half Of them referred to theoI-
ogy and the others to military sub.
1ects. These two classes indicate
the kaiser's own preferences.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Showed Tact of kinu.

1t was the order Of the day at
late shoot at Sandringham that hen
pheasants should not be shot, and one
of the guests brought down hen
which fell near King Edwards place
in the line. Anxious not to hurt the
offenders feelings by an over rebuke,
the king pointed to the corpus deficit
and said: "Ah, Quincy, what a man
you are for the ladies! Life Of Ed.
ward VII.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
He Got the Pass.
want a pass.

Il want a pass.
Pass? You're not entitled to a
pass. You are not an employee.
Sorry"
mo; but here the anti-pass Law
says free transportation can be grant
ed to necessary caretakers Of live
stock, poultry and fruit Well, I'm
going on this trip with an aunt that's
a hen-there's your poultry; a girl
that's a peach-theres your fruit;
and a nephew that's mule-there's
your live stock. Gimme a pass
The Way-Bill.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
By Pm c0unC
Some Day Ask
Your Physician

To tell you the curious story of how the mind
affects the digestion of food
refer to the condition the mind Is In, lust
before, at fhe time, or Just following the taking
of food.
If he has been properly educated (the major
lily have) ne will help you understand the curious
machinery of digestion.
To start you thinking on this interesting
subject, will try TO lay our the plan In general
way and you can then follow into more minute
details.
Pawlow pronounce Pavoff) a famous Russian Pbv
stefan and Chemist, experimenting some dogs cut
into the tube leading from the throat the stomach
They first put under chloroform or some other
anaesthetc and the operation painless They wera
kept for months in very good condition.
When quite hungry some uu-appetzing food was
placed before them and although hunger forced then,
TO eat it shown by analysis of the contents of the
stomach that little IL of the digestive juices were
found.
Then, in contrast. meat was put where tbev
couldn't reach ii at once and little time allowed for
the minds of the dogs to anticipate create an an
petite. When the food finally given them thew De-
voured ii ravenously and with every evidence OF sat
sfaction. The food passed into dish through
the opening before it reached the stomach II was
found be mixed with Ptyaln" the alkaline mice S
geston Then analysis made of the contents Of
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Hewlett's, Of course
ns,tInu gwen

wastFrl know. and he tried to
again.
BAXTER IIe only got out about half
an hour ago
Waxiera-l know and he tried to
Alek the first polIceman he saw.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Melted 70 Ns,hlna.

els he as thin rs have heard2"
Hes thinner Say. when he tried
on a donhle breasted coat one row Of
buttons was up his Houston
Post
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Use Of Ants In Nature.

Prof. ]. c. Branner, in the Bulletin
Of the Geological Society of America,
describes the immense Importance of
ants as geologic agents. especially in
tropical regions. Ant burrows have
been found at a depth of 3.5 meters,
and they ramify over vast areas.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23

lngEnings Horse Dealer Now,
here's a nice horse Tor you, sir. Quite
young The reason bis kpees are bent
like that is because he vas bern In a
Stable with too low a roof .-Pele
Meis
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Outdone.

Willis-Tm raising 500 chickens on
a five-foot lot.
Gillis-That's nothing. You ought
to see the relatives my wife is taking
care of in our f1at.-PNck.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
Not % STRANGE.

She It's funny you should be 30
tall Your brother, the artist. Ia very
short, isn't heY
He Yea, usually
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
About MARRIAGE,

Npout Marriages.
Shea girl should look before she
leaps.
He--she should look pretty or she
may not get chance to leap.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23
a knowIno cIerk,

let me see some ladies' hosiery"
For your wife. or do you want
something more expenAIye2" -Fiies.
ende Biaetter. ..
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-06-23

the stomach into which food had entered 1t was
shown that the digestive fluids of stomach flowing
freely, exactly as If the desirable food had entered
The new era., 1911-04-13
$3.50 RECIPE CURES
WEAK KIDNEYS, FREE
RELIEVES URINARY, AND KIDNEY
TROUBLES, eAckAcHE, STRAIN
ING, DWELLING, ETC.
Stops Pain In the Bladder, Kidneys
and Back.

Wouldn't It be nice within . week or %
to begin to say goodbye forever to the
scaldinE. dribbling. straining. or too fre-
quent passage OF urine: the forehead and
the back -the-head aches: tho stitches
and pains in the back; the growing mus
Gle weakness: spots before the eyes: yell
low skin: sluggish bowels: swollen sxA-
lids or ankles: leg cramps: unnatusss
short breath: sleeplessness and the de-
spondency?
have q recipe for these troubles that
you can depend on. and II you want to
make q QUICK RECOVERY. you ought
to write and get copy of 1t. Many a
doctor would charge you $3.50 Just for
writing this prescription. but I have u
and will be glad to send It to You entirs-
ly FREQ. Just drop me a line like this:
Dr. A. e. Robinson. K-M Luck Building.
Detroit, Mich, and will send It by re-
turn mail in a plain envelope. AZ you will
SEQ when you get 1t. this recipe contains
only pure. harmless remedies. but 1t has
great healing and pain-conquering power.
1t will quickly show its power once you
use It, so think you had better sec what
1t is without delay. I will send you a
copy free-you can use 1t and euro your
self at home.
The new era., 1911-04-13
Agreed.

A real joke was sprung by a stu
dent at the Western Reserve Unfver-
sity last week. This student suffers
from the stigma of obesity; 1t ap-
pears that even professors do not love
fat man. After particularly unsuc-
cessful recitation in English III the
professor said:
"Alas, Mr.. Blank! You are better
fed than taught"
"That's right, professor" sighed the
youth, subsiding heavily. "You teach
me-I feed myself" Plain
Dealer.
The new era., 1911-04-13
saxIna Trouble.

The husband OF fashionable WON.
an, whose gowns are at once the ad-
miration and despair Of her feminine
acquaintances, was discussing the
cost of living with a friend at the
Union League the other night.
by the way" ventured the friend.
"-er-don't you have a good deal of
trouble keeping your wife dressed in
the height of style?"
The woman's husband smiled and
then shook his head. emphatically.
ooh. no." he said, nothing to speak
of. Nothing-nothing to the trouble
I'd have If 1 didn't"
The new era., 1911-04-13
Wond erful cavern7

THAT cavern seems to be populaM
with the women VISITORS" remarked
the stranger.
"Yes," responded the guide. ut has
such wonderful echo. Every once in
a while one. Of the women stands on
ledge of rock and shouts: is my hat
on straight"
"And the echo responds?"
YES, the echo answers: 1T is,
madam: 1t is!'"
The new era., 1911-04-13
. Room for One More.

Archbishop Ireland was urging one
of his senatorial friends to help the
church with his presence, but the SEN
ator declined to be regular church
goer. giving this reason:
"One finds SO many hypocrites
there"
But there is always room for on
mbre," said the genial prelate, as ~
gripped the hand Of, his statesman
friend.-Kansas City Star.
The new era., 1911-04-13
Bait for Burglars.

"John." said Mrs. Brown, sitting up
suddenly in bed. there's burglar in
the place"
"Nonsense!" replied her husband.
drowsily.
I'm quite right" she returned: II
can hear him distinctly crossing the
floor of the room below. Now'-ex-
citedly; hes lighting one of those
cigars gave you for your birthday.
l heard him pick up the box and put it
down again."
The new era., 1911-04-13
A Flyer's Joke.

Hubert Latham. the Antoinette fly
er, was talking at a tea in Los Angeles
to pretty California girl.
"Mr. Latham" said the girl. as she
took her nineteenth walnut and let
tuce sandwich, tell me, does flying
require any particular applications"
"Well,( no none in particular" Mr..
Latham answered. "Arnica or horse
liniment-one's as good as another
Pittsburg Gazette-Times.
The new era., 1911-04-13
Plying His Trade.

A man who had been caught In
raid on a gambling house was ar
raigned, not long ago. before local
magistrate. -
What is your trade?" the ma -
trate asked.
II am locksmith, SIR
"And what were you doing in the
gambling den?" pursued the magis-
trate. What were you doing when
the police entered?"
The locksmith looked up into tho
magistrates face with an expression
Of sublime innocence
''Why, your honor" he answered,
II was making a bolt for the door,
Philadelphia Times.
The new era., 1911-04-13
Home Made Cushion.

II hardly knew your father to-day"
said the district visitor pleasantly to
the little girl. Hes cut his beard off
again. That's three times since year
ago."
The little girl explained: at amt
father done it. Father like his beard
on. But muvver's stuffin' the sofa."-
London Chronicle.
The new era., 1911-04-13
CAUGHT In the Rush.

my poor man." said the sympa-
thetic woman. land how came you to
be crippled for life?"
"Il tell you. madam" replied the
beggar. "once I spent my vacation at
summer hotel. and was trampied
down trying to get into tho dining
room first after the bell rang."-De-
troit Free Press.
The new era., 1911-04-13
Sounded Good to Him.

ITO rebuild the pyramid of Cheops
under modern conditions would Cost
500. 100000, and require the labor OF
10000 men for two years." said the
professor.
Gee! I'd like to be in on that con-
tract when they do it," exclaimed the
Tammany contractor. feelingly-Yonh-
ers Statesman.
The new era., 1911-04-13
Ahead, Anyway.

First Cadet-Gee, you got shape
like match.
Second Cadet-Well. match has
head: that's more than you've GOT
Windmill.
The new era., 1911-04-13
His Task.

Did you do much sightseeing when
you went abroad?"
NO" answered Mr.. 'Cumrox.
Mother and the girls did the sight
seeing. l had to put in my time find
Ing the places where they cash letters
of credit."-Wasp.
The new era., 1911-04-13

New York Physlclans Have Many
Cures to Their Credit.
New York, April 4.-Advices from
every direction fully confirm previous
reports that the remarkable treatment
for epilepsy being administered by the
consulting physicians Of the DR.. Water
man Institute is achieving wonderful
results. Old and stubborn cases have
been greatly benefited and many pa
tients claim to have been entirely
cured.
Persons suffering from epilepsy
should write at once to DR.. Waterman
Institute, 1872 East 25th St, Branch 63.
New York, for supply of the remedy.
which is being distributed gratuitously
The new era., 1911-04-13
Chicken, All Right.

A Camden lawyer walked into res
taurant the other day. prepared to Or
der himself chicken dinner.
The waitress approached him. He
looked at her and said:
"How's chicken"
I'm all right" she answered, cheer
lily; "how's yourself?"
The new era., 1911-04-13

Better general health is sure to folio,
the use Of the natural Herb laxative. Ga
field Tea. It corrects constipation.
The new era., 1911-04-13

Nothing chloroforms church quick
er than minister dosed with dignity
The new era., 1911-04-13

usteu men boarding the vessels or sitting about
boxes on the docks chatting with friends until
they should be summoned on board for the cruise.
And always, as the sailors would greet new COM
panion came that remark. I've sold my carcass"
1t puzzled the landsman. He did not under
stand. but figured out that it was some rough
pleasantly. He did not know that every man who
sails out of an American port in a deep-sea vessel
under the stars and stripes must literally sell his
body and soul into servitude abject and as
sdebastng as that Of the black on the southern
plantation before the Emancipation Proclamation
was issued
For the American who sails the high seas
under the stars and stripes is slave He is
slave under the law. True, he cannot be put upon
the auction block by his master and sold to the
highest bidder. But he must sure nder his Amer
lean birthrfght-freedom OF contract he must
sign away his right to his pay when It falls due.
And he cannot be sailor without signing them
away And he cannot run away from bis bargain
and his master. II he tries 1t. he is arrested and
taken back. no matter in what quarter of the
globe his vessel is anchored. For by the opera
ton of treaties with all the maritime powers of
the world. the United States agrees to arrest and
return foreign sailor-slaves, in return for which
the foreign countries have agreed to arrest and
return to American ships Americas chattel slaves
NO man fs ever a slave under the law unless
conditions are such that it Is necessary for his
masters to hold him legally in servitude in order
to retain his services Every land is full of indus
tr1al slaves who cannot desert their masters II
they would because there is nothing else for them
TO DO but to submit or starve But the occupation
OF sailor carries him to foreign lands where the
lure OF untried conditions is forever beckoning,
ana 1t would be comparatively easy for him to
desert bis master But here the law steps in, and
The new era., 1911-04-13

Some sermons come near being dem.
onstrations Of eternal punishment.
The new era., 1911-04-13

Constipation causes and seriously agra.
Yates many diseases. 1t is thoroughly cured
by DR.. Pierce's Pellets. Tiny sugar-coated
Rranules
The new era., 1911-04-13
HOWARD s, BURTON, AssAYER & CHEMIST

LEADvILLE. COLORADO,
Specimen prices: Gold. silver. lead, 81: gold,
silver. 7se: gold. SOC: zinc or copper. 81.
application. Control and umpire work So
icited. Reference; Carbonate National Bank