Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1911-01-14

WiGslss and Wife as Overheard by the
Dubbsea

!
Wiasles and Wife as Overheard by the
Dubbsea
! Mrs. Wiggles has the very great mis-
Fortune to be married to a purist, and
what she has to endure, so her neigh
bors say, passes all belief For in
stance, here is a conversation said to
have been overheard by the Dubbses,
who live next door, one morning last
week.
'Henry," called Mrs. Wiggles from
upstairs, addressing Mr.. Wiggles, who
had got up early to start the furnace,
whats the thermometer this morn
ing?"
Same as usual, my DEAR" Mr.. Wig
giles replied. calling up through the
fiue. ut is a little instrument made
of metal, glass and mercury designed
to show degrees of heat and cold. 1t Is
a simple and inexpensive little contriv-
ance, and no home should be without
one"
II mean what does 1t say?" returned
Mrs. Wiggles, with an expression or
countenance which, not having been
seen, can only be imagined.
ut does not say anything, my love-"
replied Mr.. Wiggles, brushing some
SCOT out of his locks. "Up to this time
nobody has thought to invent a talk
ing thermometer, though suppose
that 1t would be possible by means
OF q. Photographic attachment operat-
ed by delicately adjusted device of
some sort to get the results which you
seem to believe are already attained"
In hot Il
ed Mrs yWiggles. somewhat stridently
"Where is the thermometer, then, IL
you are going to be so very, very par
ticular."
at is just where we left 1t last night,
dear heart" returned Wiggles; screw
ed on to the left hand jamb of the
front door. 1 fancy that If 1t had not
been screwed on it would have disap-
peared long ago. Where did you think
it wasp
HAS it risen or falIen?' demanded
the lady.
mot that I know Of" said Wiggles.
eff 1t had risen 1 think we should
have seen the old screw holes in the
place where 1t had been, and as for
falling, 1 know 1t hasn't done that, be-
cause Thermometers are rather fragile
things, and If it had fallen at any
time there would have been signs of
fracture at least. even II the whole
thing had not been shattered to pieces.
Don't worry about 1t anyhow. 1 fas-
tened 1t on the door jam myself, and
with four screws 1t can hardly come
loose-that is. not all at once"
Henry Wiggles," roared the lady's |
voice, growing more than severe and |
having about 1t certain qualities of |
Icy sharpness, "do you mean TO tell |
me where the mercury stands or not?''
"Of course do lovey," replied Wig |
giles, lighting the fire at last. lit
stands in the little glass tube that
runs from the bulb at the base of the
thermometer up to the top. Where
did you suppose 1t stood-on its head?" |
Here the conversation stopped
Later In the day Mrs. Dubbs, meet
ing Wiggles with his head bandaged
upon his way to catch the trolley,
smiled sweetly.
'Ah, Mr.. Wiggles," said she archly.
'has Mrs. Wiggles been taking the
broomsticIS to you that you have your
head bandaged up?''
mo, madam" said Wiggles coldly.
'We do not use brooms in my house
hold. We use vacuum cleaners"
"Well, 1 guess they are more appro-
priate,' said Mrs. Dubbs significantly.
ut started In very warm this morning,
didn't itg
"You bet 1t didp' said Wiggles as he
moved on. "Some cloudy too."-Har-
per's Weekly.