davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

Never" rolled through The parh with
ever increasing volume and vehe-
mence-
If Gormly had looked back, ne could
ave seen the windows of the city
hall crowd with aldermen, white faced
and anxious, listening to that ,Fv-
mendous AMI even furious negative.
Let's get the aldermen out here!"
cried a voice In q pause in the com
motion, and show EN- what we
thinki"
There was an instant response TO
the suggestion. The people made q
wild surge toward the entrance of
the city hall. The multitude could
easily have degenersted into a mob.
But Gormly checked IT. His control
was admirable.
mo, gentlemen" he cried. no. men
and citizens of New York. We must
do things lawfully. The grant has
not been signed by the mayor. Be-
lieve me, they will not be insensible
to this protest. Let 1t be repeated in
every local organization; let every
member of the board OF aldermen be
warned by his constituents not To
press this bill, to reconsider his &C
ton at once.
Gentlemen" he held up . piece
OF paper. One Of the tall lights in the
square illuminated his face and figure.
His every action was distinctly visible
to the multitude have here In my
hand a check. certified by the City Of
Gotham National bank. for two and
ore-half millions Of dollars. Before
this ordinance was passed this eve
ming, not ten minutes ago, l offered
this sum of money as a forfeiture.
binding me to pay ten millions for the
franchise in question. I offered to
subscribe to an agreement which
would limit my own returns to six
per cent. upon my investment; and
promised that the people should have
every cent OF profit over and above
hat legitimate amount The offer
was refused; that check was declined,
but 1t still holds good. make the
not merely to the cringing. sub
servient, whipped-into-line aldermen,
but to you, the people"
"Whatre you going to get out OF
IT, asked a voice.
y am going TO be elected mayor of
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
Uncle Sam and His Divorces.

Almost every twelfth marriage in
this country ends in a divorce. About
two-thirds of the divorces are granted
TO the wife. Thirty-nine per cent. of
divorces are due to desertion. The
marriage rate in southern states is
larger than in the north. America
with the single exception of Japan)
leads the world in the number of d.
vorces. The divorce rate is three times
as large as It vas IN 1870. or the di.
vorce cases that come up only Is per
cent. are contested, and rs per cent. OF
the divorce applications are granted.
Uncle Sam no only has a high divorce
rate. but has the highest marriage rate
on earth. his only rivals In the latter
line being Hungary, west Australia
and Saxony. Ireland has the lowest
marriage rate and Sweden the next
lowest.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
An Exactino Situation

Doctor" said the nervous man, "Is
there any way of teaching a person
to talk in his Sleep"
Il never heard of any" replied the
physician. How could such an ac-
complishment be of beneft?"
It's either that or insomnia for me.
My wife is one Of the best s%uffragette
speakers before the public. She al
ways rehearses her orations at home,
and I've got to say hear! heart or
that's the stuff!' at least once every
ten minutes. Star.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
TOO MUCH FOR HACK DRIVER
High-SoundIne Name MADE Old Man
Think There Was Something
Mysterious in the Wind.

After a long, hot, and dusty journey
by train the New York commercial
traveller arrived in Richmond, brushed
enough dust off his face to make sure
that the right man was getting on,
and hailed one of the little sea-going
hacks common in the Old Dominion
city. 1t vas driven by an aged negro.
Drive me to a haberdashery," said
the travelling man, surveying his soiled
raiment with disfavor. "Yessuh," said
the negro. "Giddup." The old horse
started off at a little stiff-legged jog
trot. The driver seemed to be think
ing deeply. By and by he pulled the
horse to a stop, and leaned backward
to his fare. "Scuse me, sub" said he.
but wey did you all want to go?"
Drive me to a haberdashery." said
the travelling man. ooh. y~essuh," said
the negro. ITO be sure. Giddup."
The hack ratified on for a little way.
anI then the negro stopped. got OF
the box and poked his head in over
the little door. "Mebbe All didn't get
dat name JUS right" said he. Would
you all mine ~repeatin' 1t, subj" The
travelling mar said for the third time
that he wanted to go to a h~aberdash-
cry. The old driver shook his gray
wool and looked grieved. "Ah'm an
ole man." said he. "Youah kin trus-
me. Wheah is 1t you really want to
go?"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

Gormly had not intended to speak:
but the opportunity vas too good to be
lost. As he descended the steps, the
cheering changed into q demand for q
speech from him. No hustings had
been prepared, but by the curbstons
stood a big, high-powered automobile.
It vas filled with people. Livingstone
Haldane sat in the chauffeur's seat.
The place beside him was vacant.
up here. Mr.. Gormly!" he cried.
pointing. Without observing who was
In the tonneau, Gormly clambered I'D
to the seat and stood on IL. He was
thus lifted Efficiently high above the
crowd.
Fellow citizens" he began as the
cheering subsidized and the multitude
gave him opportunity to speak, you
now that in order to complete the
ring Of oppression which holds the
city In It's iron grasp under the name
OF the Gotham Freight Traction com
pany. It was necessary that the old
franchise Of the New York Street Car
company expiring today should be-
come the property OF that company.
Through the franchises they already
enjoy, they have created an institution
that will enable them to continue
their predatory practises--
Talk English" shouted a voice
from the crowd,
"ThanK you, my friend" answered
Gormly. Which will enable them TO
steal from you your money. your earn
ings, your investments, your profits,
your capital, whatever You have for
the e n hundred years. They
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
This One Is on Huqh.

When | came into the Union sta.
ton the other morning, after travelling
MI night" said Hugh Reilly, at the
Commercial club. 81 went into the
barber shop, When you spend the
night in a sleeping car | said to the
barber. 1t doesn't improve your per,
sonal appearance, does it,"
Well said he, as he looked me
over, II don't know how you looked
when you started, but perhaps you're
right."-Washington Herald.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

New York by you men" answered
Gormly. II am going to get the con-
seriousness hat | have an opportunity
to give New York a clean, decent,
law abiding administration, without
graft. ! am going to put the people
in the enjoyment Of their rights. I
made my money here. Every dollar
OF 1t you gave to me. | am giving it
back to you. We worked together to
make IT. | by selling you good goods
and telling the truth about IT. and you
by paying a fair price for II and com
ing back IL you were not satisfied.
We will work together in the same
way now. II you give me the oppor-
tunity to administer the affairs of the
city, | pledge my business honor. at
which no man can point a finger, that
l will do 1t honestly and honorably to
the satisfaction of honest and honor
able men. or you Ear throw me over.
Now. remember" the speaker con
tinued AZ wild cheers greeted this an
nouncement. that clamor and giamor
don't win elections; that shouting and
cheering r all very well in their
way. but 1t Is votes that count You
must sec that your votes arc de-
posted. and then you must see that
they are fairly counted. I bog that
you win dispense now, 80 home, and
make IL your business to sec your al
dermen about this franchise. Do Il
quickly and do It hard"
Wen see them now!" yelled n
voice after another In quick c
sion
Let EN- come out here!-
Wed lhS to talk to 'em!"
"1ive VI q chance at themi~
where's the maywf'
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

dies without benefit, I began using
Doan's Kidney Pills and was com
pletely cured. l was going through
the critical period of a woman's life
at the time and after using Doan's
Kidney Pills there was a miraculous
change for the better in my health"
When Your Back is Lame, Remem-
Der the Name-DOAN'S."
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price SOC.
Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
Not In Circulation There,

An error of a new clerk in the mail.
Ing department of an eastern publish.
er was responsible, the other day, for
the mailing of a prospectus to a world.
famous statesman, who had been dead
for some years. The letter was re
turned a few days later with the fol
flowing Endorsement: I'm Heaven
l191l. Gentlemen: AS your publ
cations are not permitted to circulate
here. | believe it would be useless for
me to subscribe for them. Yours re,
spectfully." and here followed the
name Of the famous statesman.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
Overheard In Nenice-

isn't it romantic. John, dear" said
she. as they sat In the little Venetian
garden, ito sit here and listen to these
Italian ~troubadours singing their bal
lads bathed in the moonlight"
Yes, dear" replied John with a
o~eep-drawn sigh. But | sometimes
wish they'd bathe in something be-
sides moonlight, don't you. 1t might
be less romantic, but it would be a
darn sight more hygienic."-Harper's
Weekly.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
Great Care Of Children,

The ancient Egyptians devoted
great devotion to Riddles. They were
carried about wrapped IN large son
cloths, big sheets like cheese cloth.
easily washed and dried. After wean-
Ing nothing except cows milk was
good enough until they could chew
good and we'll. Infants lived In open
air and naked up to the nth year;
barefoot till ten. Very lively games.
hoops, balls and dolls are found often
in graves. After the tenth year they
were taught reading. writing and
arithmetic. three to four hours q dAy
in their schools, long-7.0o0 year,
ago. and yet we moderns think we ~
the whole business.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

have sold bonds TO pay for the build
ing OF the road; not one cent Of their
own money has gone into 1t. They
have Issued stock to themselves to
double or Quadruple the value of the
investment, and they are determined
to make you pay interest, large inter
est, on that stock as well as on the
bonds. But, in order that they car
carry out this ~nefarious and thisylng
proposition, they must secure this
franchise which expired today, other.
wise their traction lines will be incom-
plete, will end IN the air, there will
be no connection between its ends:
for the territory covered by this fran.
chise is 80 situated that II the linea
are to be connected II must be
through this territory. Consequently
this franchise is the most valuable OF
the few remaining properties of the
people. You own It.; It belongs 10
you. It's your last chance to get your
rights. II you hold II, they are a.
your mercy.
This franchise. the possession al
which 30 much TO you. is about
to be given away. The council has
Overwhelmingly passed an ordinance
granting It. without restrictions to
the Gotham Freight Traction company
for the space Of n hundred years.
VIII you sanction thaty
Tho square was now seething with
excitement. Gormly's clear. powerful
voice carried to the extremes of the
crowd. His plain. practical p~resenta-
ton was simple enough for all to UNI
derstand. He paused at this juncture
and surveyed the crowd. A voice
suddenly cried a shri1 negative. and
Instantly the word was caught up and
. great unaAArtne 6harw a TIA moi
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
X Was Lovely" Cheese.

A young married woman in Cherry
vale asked the polite salesman IL he
had good cheese. I'VE have some
lovely cheese" was the smiling ans
wer. you should not say lovely
cheese" she corrected. why not?
1t IS" he declared. "Because"-with
a boarding school dignity-"lovely
should be used to qualify only some
thing that is alive" We'll" he said,
IN stick to lovely."-Cherryvale
(Kan.) Journal.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
A Superlor Person.

F. II. Elliott, the secretary of the
American Automobile association,
was talking about a somewhat uper
cilious and conceited millionaire.
He's a very superior person" Mr..
Elliot said, smiling. He's the sort
of person who would be sure to go
to a horse show in a motor car and to
an automobile show in a mo%noplane."
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
Needed CoverInu-

On the morning after the Charles
ton earthquake a family was sitting
half clad, ~shivering In the dawn. "Oh,
Aunt Fannie" said the young woman,
there's a horrid big worm on your
shoulder" Leave 1t on. Aunt Fan
ME-" said the young woman's hus-
band. you need all the covering you
can get."-Success.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
The Climatic Autocrat.

What | should like" said the self.
indulgent person. would be 10 have
wealth enough to permit me to live
in a cool place in summer, and regu-
late the temperature according to my
own fancy in winter
You don't need wealth. What you
want is the Job of j%anitor."
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
A Real Woman.

Yes, we met a real live queen
while abroad. Were conducted through
the palace, in fact" You don't tell
me. And how did the queen act?"
Just like an ordinary m Told
us she had a hard time keeping help
and apologized profusely for the way
the palace looked"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
CHAPTER x.-ContInued.

II offer $40, 900, 900 for this fran
chise. II 1t be granted me, I shall
guarantee to operate the road IN the
interests OF the people, and turn over
all the profits above six per cent. on
my investment. to the people them
selves. Lest there should be any
doubt Of my ability to make good"
continued the merchant, u beg to say
that | have In my hand a forfeiture
check for one-fourth of the amount In
question, which is certified to by the
City OF Gotham National bank"
The gentleman Is out of order"
remarked the presiding officer as soon
as he could recover his e~quipoise.
I'VE are not a%uctioning of public
franchises to the highest bidder. We
are granting this one in the interests
Of the public to the company which
has already served the people so well
and has assumed the burden OF the
great system Of which this Is the nee
essary connecting link"
Sir" cried Gormly, amid a chorus
OF groans, Kisses and cheers, Il pro-
test against"
ANY other Interruptions from the
speaker" came quickly from the chair,
"and any further expressions of APP
rroval or disapproval from the spec
tators. will result In the clearing of
the DON by the sergeant at arms"
II CALL" said one of the aldermen,
-for a vote on the resolution"
Those In favor of the granting of
the franchise will say ave." immediate
ly said the chairman.
There was a furious chorus of
Shame! shame!" from a great num-
Der of spectators In which the feeble
"ayes" were scarcely heard.
Those opposed" wen on the voice
Of the chairman. trembling with ex-
element. will signify It by saying
no."
A laundering shout of Noes" rang
through the hall, the few In opposi-
tion making up by their moderation
for their small numbers.
"The ayes have It," said the chair
man, hammering on the desk with his
gavel!
Division! Division!- clamored the
opposition.
Those In favor" continued the
chairman, disguised at being COM
PEELED to put the administration thus
on record, but powerless to prevent
1t will stand sp."
Amid shouts and cries and disorder
never before equaied, the members OF
the administration got - their feet.
The whip that had been cracked over
their heads had been used to effect.
Some Of them were nero ignorant
tools; others were able to understand
what they YER doing. They all voted
kika A score Of alert reporters from
sarefully prepared lists were checking
OF the votes.
The ayes have It; the ordinance is
passed" cried the chairman trium-
phantly. after the noes had been called
10 their feet and counted.
u move" said Alderman Hellman,
shat We do now adjourn
The motion was carried with q rush,
and instantly the spectators began a
Wild scramble from the hall. Among
the hrst to leave was Gormiy. The
corridor and stairs were pachsd with
people who had been unable to gain
sdmittance 70 the chamber, but had
learned what was toward.
When 0ormly's wellknown figure
Vas seen In the doorway. . great
0put of acclaim rose from the multi
&nda.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
Clean the EeedpIate.

Your sewing machine will last long
er and run more easily If, especially
after working on wooden goods, you
clean out the feedpiate. Take out the
screw that holds 1t down and lift 1t
off; then, with a long pin, pick out
the lint and clear the needle slot.
You will be amazed at the amount of
lint that can accumulate there, and
when you have replaced the plate and
the screw, at the increased efficiency
of the machine.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
Two Of a Kind

Il find that my husband has been
having the office boy call me I'D every
day and humble terms of endearment.
That's a nice way to fool his wife.
He's been going to the ball game"
How is it that you didn't catch on
to the voice."
Well, I'm busy at bridge every day,
n I've been having the cook answer
the telephone"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

over the kidneys that
It was a task for me
to turn in bed. My
kidneys acted very
frequently, but tho
secretions were re-
tarded and passages
scalded / was weak
and run down. After
taking other rene
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
Not Knocking SIattery,

Mrs. ~Coogan-An' the little thing is
the divil's own image of his father.
Mrs. S~lattery-Yis, but | don't moind
that so long IS he kapes hilthy.-
Puck.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

1t requires a great deal of mind to
be silent at the right time and in the
right place. Circumstances form the
character; but like petrifying matters
they harden while they form.-L. e.
Landon.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

You can't tell how much money a
man is making from the clothes he
wears. You must get q look at his
wife's.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

Magistrate-This officer says you ap-
preached your wife. spoke to her and
she tainted.
Rastus-Dat's right, ledge.
Magistrate-What did you say to
her?
Rastus-Jes' tole her dat l loved
her, sab.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

II the average man has occasion to
generate a good. hearty laugh once q
month. he is playing In great luck.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12
AT A CRITICAL PERIOD.
OF Peculiar Interest to Women,

Mrs. Mary I. Remington. Eigleberry
St, Gilroy, Cal, says: 81 suffered 50
severely from pain and soreness
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

hasmonteus Boastlnp.
Mrs. Homely keeps her house b
print"
Yes. ana she takes care to pubasA
h."
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-10-12

He is a wise man who laughs at
he sntediluvian jokes OF his tailor.
The Alaska sourdough., 1911-11-21

water system is inadequate, Under the
present system it would appear, and in
fact has been amply demonstrated that
it is impossible to put out fire that
has a good start and that the best that
can be expected is to confne it to the
vicinity where il originated The PEG
pie Of juneau have too much at stake
to hesitate over the question IL i'm
proving the present water system by
the addition of salt water main with
sufficient pressure to take care Of a
large fire in the district between the
water front and Third street. A con
S SIDERABLE initial cost would br thus en-
tailed, but it is my opinion that the adj
d;tion of such main would reduce the
rate of insurance to such an extent as
to offset the cost in q very short while
Further, Juneau is growing and the
town is becoming better every day,
which is good and sufficient reason why
the fire fighting equipment should grow
and be bettered whenever circumstan-
ces demand it.
Another point which would bear in
vestigation is the matter of some sort
of fire boat. There is considerable
The Alaska sourdough., 1911-11-21

property lying along the water front Of
Juneau which under the present condi-
tions can only be fought in case of fire,
from one side. The same condition APP
plies to the town of Douglas, and to
some extent to Treadwell. Such being
the case, the cost of installing and
maintaining this fire boat could be
borne by the three communities and In
that way each would receive the maxi
mum of service at a minimum cost 1t
may be that | have not given this lat
ter point the consideration that /
should before offering it, and that it
may be impractical to do this, still |
think it should be looked into and
something done along these lines.
1t is not the intention to tear down
what has already been built up or to
institute any radical reforms, but simp-
ly to bring the citizens of Juneau to
the realization Of things as they are
and to suggest lines along which, we
may secure an improvement. Real and
just criticism never hurts anyone or
anything but tends rather to produce
better results
a- SUBSCRIBER.