davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-20

FOR SALE-SpeciaI bargain; new ce-
ment block house. six rooms, base
ment, furnace, large lot, two blocks
from Elm street car; never been oc-
cupied, well built, and nicely furnish
ed throughout; only $1,000; $500 cash,
balance monthly. V. N. Mercer, 4O3
Safety building.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-20

FOR SALE-Lots on Sixth and Seventh
streets, between Fourteenth and Eigh-
teenth avenues; cement walks; easy
walking distance of west end factor
les; terms, small payment down, bal
ance on your own terms Inquire of
J. G. Scheuerman. 1900 Sixth street
Phone 1895.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-20
FOR RExr-RooMs

FOR RENT - Modern furnished rooms
at 1907 Sixth avenue.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-20

FOR SAIE-Cheap, a few choice lots;
paved streets. walks, sewer, water,
gas, trees in tract, fine surroundings,
beautiful homes, street car right to
View park. For particulars call on
G. Elmer Blakesley, 1896 Glenhulst
court Phone west 1157-LL Twelfth
street, TwelfsA avenue addition.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-20

FOR SALE-A house and two lots at a
bargain. for cash: investigate and get
chance; quick sale; 75s Thirty-hfth
street city.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-06-20

FOR SALE-Lots in west end: high.
level; $500 UP; one with two-room
house $500; street car: easy payments.
n. A. Weld
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
COMES A TIME
When Coffee Shows What II Has Been
Doing.

"Of late years coffee has disagreed
with me-" writes matron from Rome,
N. Y.
Its lightest punishment being to
make me 'logy' and dizzy, and 1t SEEM
ed to thicken up my blood.
THE heaviest was when 1t upset my
stomach completely, destroying my ap-
petite and making me nervous and IT.
ritable, and sent me to my bed. After
one of these attacks, in which nearly
lost my life, / concluded to quit the
coffee and try Postum.
1T went right to the spot! I found
1t not only a most palatable and re-
freshing beverage, but food as well.
"All my ailments, the loginess and
dizziness, the unsatisfactory condition
of my blood, my nervousness and irri-
liability disappeared in short order
and my sorely afflicted, stomach began
quickly to recover. began to rebuild
and have steadily continued until now.
Have a good appetite and am rejoicing
in sound health which owe to the use
Of Postum" Name given by Postum
Co.. Battle Creek, Mich.
Read the little Book "The Road to
MELVILLE" in pkgs There's reason"
Ever read the shove letter. A new
enc appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full Of human
interest.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
EXCUSE FOR HIS LAUNDERING
Been Working Under Pretty
Heavy Handicap.

He was an immaculate servant. To
watch him serve salad was to watch
an artist at work. To hear his sub
dued accents was lesson in the art
of Reproduction. He never slipped
he never smiled, and his mutton-chop
whiskers marked him as one Of the
old and faithful stock. But one even
ing, to the surprise of his master, he
showed unaccountable signs of nery-
BUSINESS. When the chicken came on,
he confused it with the pheasant. He
served everything in the wrong or
der, made blunder after blunder, and
put final touch to his shame by up
setting the salt over the only super
stitious member of the party. Then,
at last, when the ladies had retired to
the drawing room, he touched his mas
ter on the shoulder. II beg your par
don. sir" he said in a respectful un-
dertone, ''but could you manage to
spare me now? My house is on fire.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17

The fashion page attracts the eyes
OF all the ladies fair;
Who knows what Turing fancies rise
At what is pictured there2
The lady who Is skin and bone,
The lady who Is fat
Each thinks about herself alone
And smiles: 'I'll look like that
The sylphlike waist, the lissome shape
Appeals to her who's plump;
The gangly one thinks they can drape
Her till she's less trump.
Tong, lean; short, stout-al think thu
same
And in their mental chat
Each let's her fancy flash to flame
With: IT will look like that!'
All, well. good brother. you and
Look at the fashions. too
You may be more than six feet high
And slender to the view.
I may be short and round, but we
Observe the tailor's plat
And say: THAT style will do for me.
Twill make me look like that"
sometimes wonder II on earth
There is living one
OF such perfect shape and girth-
| But when all's said and done
| 1t SINNERS down to this same thing
| OF shoes and clothes and hat:
| Each of us gives his fancy wing
With: 81 will look like that!'
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Kindness rhwarted Again.

The man with the tremulous side
whiskers and the stately silk hat
stopped at the edge Of the excavation
and said to the husky laborer who
was about to push the wheelbarrow:
"Ah, my friend! 1t is splendid to
contemplate the influence that your
bone and sinew will have in the con.
structive perfection Of the structure
that will arise here, and"
"One side" grunted the laborer,
going ahead with the wheelbarrow.
The man turned to another laborer
who was about to descend into the ex-
cavation and who had pick on his
shoulder.
1.-THE personification Of energy!" he
smiled, Juggling at his right sidewhis-
ker. Energy! In the days to come
our children's children will gaze upon
the mighty edifice that shall stand
here, and they will see the concrete
result of the inspiration of labor,
which"
"Gangway!" shouted another man
with wheelbarrow, and the man
with the pick, having lighted his pipe,
started down the ladder, turning SO
that his pick knocked off the silk
hat of the enthusiastic man. AS the
latter stopped to pick up his hat he
was bumped by wheelbarrow, and
when he finally assembled himself he
was being supported by the crossing
policeman, who held the wreck Of the
hat in his free hand.
"Ha-a-a-a!" shouted the kindly man.
Coarse, unfeeling, unthinking! / at.
tempt to show them the higher side
Of life, to awaken in them the"
"Run on, now" said the officer "It's
early in tn day for you to get stewed
| this way, sir"
So the man went to his office and
dictated complaint against the Off
Ger, whose number he had forgotten
| to take,
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
official.
LIttIe Surprjsaa.

you take that seat; I'd rather ride
backward than forward"
Thanks, no; don't need any pen
ell. My fountain pen is always in
good working ord -
John Smith is my real name. your
honor: l never use an alias when I'm
run in"
you have taken your time about
It, George, dear; I'd have said yes If
you had asked me six months ago"
Il missed my train downtown this
morning Maria. on account of having
stopped to mail that letter you hand
ed me-"
Go ahead with your conversation,
barber; like to hear you talk"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
A Tense Tragedy.

He clasped her waist.
With sigh the beauteous girl look
ed into his eyes.
PLEASED" she whispered.
mol" he muttered.
She bent forward until her soft hair
brushed his face.
Still he grasped her waist.
She pleaded with him to loosen his
clasp, but he was obdurate.
Suddenly her eyes flashed with the
fire of wrath.
She glared at him with the berserk.
er rage that slumbers in the soul OF
all women.
Daunted to some extent he retreat.
ed slightly, but tenaciously kept his
hold on her waist.
Il command you!" she cried.
Command nothing!" ne answered
Il got my orders that l amt to lei
you have this waist till you pay the
$40 c. o. D.. and guess know my
business"
Then with soft shudder. she dug
up the money and got her waist.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Sarcasticus.

Minnie-My mother says she's 60
ing to have company and will you
lend her your spoons and tureen
and two pounds of butter and little
coffee and please let her have a
chatting dish and are you using your
meat chopper?
Mrs. Jones-Why, certainly, my
deer; here are the things. And as
soon as Johnny comes home from
kindergarten I'll send him over with
the piano and couple of beds.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
7 don't believe It."


In one place. at least, the rose is
not permitted to smell as sweet by
any other NAME" and that place is
Scotland.
An attache Of the American en-
bassy at London tells of a stranger
presenting himself to play golf at
North Berwick, seeking out some one
in authority upon the matter.
What manner" asked the Gignified
official
DE Neuville," the stranger replied.
Mon" said the official in tone
Of disgust, I'VE Gamma bother oorsels
wi names like tat at North Ber-
wick. Ye'll START in the mornin' at
1918 to the name of Fairgusson."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
UnrestraIned.
meet he

The old tombstone, in the quaint
fashion of its kind. implored the
passer-by to pause and dror tear;
and no sooner had the beautiful girl
read the inscription than she began
to weep. But her mother reproved
her.
Cecilia" she exclaimed, why can
you not have more restraint? You
are requested merely to drop tear,
and here you have burst into sew
erai!"-Puck.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Favorlte Fiction.

philadelphia SQUAD. 70 Cents"
Il Don't Know How 1t Got Out,
Mrs. Jones; | Haven't Mentioned II
to Living Soul"
Desirable Flat for Rent Cheap
I'VE Are Making Arrangements to
Resume; Depositors VIII Be Paid
Dollar for Dollar"
Many of Our Agents Are Making
$500 a Month. Write for Full Par
ticulars."
Fellow Citizens. When Think OF
These Things | Blush for My Coun
try!"
Valuable Mining Stocks-a Bar
gain
I'm so Sorry to Hear That Youi
Cook Has Left You. Mrs. Leeder!"
Ancient History; For Use II
Schools"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Unkind.

In New York street car young
man attracted the attention of the
other passengers by leaping from his
seat and picking up something from
between the Stats of the floor. Then
be asked, did anybody lose SIS gold
piece?" A ministerial looking man
got up from his seat at the other
end of the car and started toward the
young man with outstretched hand.
Yes he said, 81 dropped IS gold
piece when got on, but owing to the
crush | couldn't find it,.
Every WE'LL" said the young man
gleefully, heres a nickel toward It,"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Why He Foruets.

Uncle Nose" said drummer, ad-
dressing an old colored man seated
on dry goods box in front Of the
village store, they tell me that you
remember seeing George Washington
am ! mistaken"
mo, sah,'' said Uncle Nose. Il
useter member seem him, but | done
foget some since | fined the chuch."
-Everybodys
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Some Contrast.

"Mornin', Sis Judy" called neigh
boris cook to our good old nanny.
Il heah dat Skeeter Jim is dun got
him new wife. hope she leetl fat
tern dat spindlin', no-'count streak-o'-
lean!"
"Fatter n him?" Nanny replied,
rolling her eyes and clasping her own
fat hands. "Lawsy, chile, day jus lax
a needle an a haystack!"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
SUPERIOR TACT OF SALESMAN
One Hat Fits Elephantins Woman,
as Well ~ Cold Attentusted
pamssl and Feminine Ghost.

1T makes you look small" said
the saleslady to the eiephantine wom-
an. who waa trying on hat.
Sold
1T makes you look plump" she
said to the cold. attenuated damsel.
Sold!
ut makes you look young" she
said to the fair, fat. and forty lady.
Sold!
1T makes you look older" she said
to the slate-and-sums miss.
Sold!
at makes you look short" she said
to the lamp-post lady.
Sold,
ut brings out your color" she said
to the feminine ghost.
Sold!
And. OF course. all the hats were
exactly alike
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Not All Fun for Father.

I'VE have rerted summer cottage
this year with running water in it,
she said
Il suppose your husband is pleased
at the thought of not having to go
for water every twenty minutes?"
Yes. but the ice house is half a
mile away, and | rather imagine that
we can keep him busy getting ice"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
MAN COULD EFFECT A CURE
Husband Has Unique Plan for Re-
storing Wife Who Imagines That
She 10 at Point of Death.

There is nothing the matter with
your wife. absolutely nothing. but a
case Of nerves; still she insists she
Is going to die and II we do not find
some way to make her want to live
she probably will die"
'Tf that is all that is the matter,
doctor. | will have her we'll in ten
minutes"
Il don't believe It,"
We'll, / will. will go in right
now and tell her that you said she
could not possibly live, and l shall
ask her what she thinks of Widow
Simpson for my second wife"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Hadn,. the Material.

Il really never saw such an impu-
dent man as that Mr.. De Borrowe,"
said Miss Wrathy. HE actually had
the audacity to ask me the other night
how ! managed to get that lovely
tinge of auburn in my hair!"
Really? Well, why didn't you box
his ears?" asked Miss Slimm.
why, only had my Easter hat box
handy. and that wasn't big enough,
said Miss Wrathy.-Harper's Weekly
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
A NeM Market

Ambitious Author-Hurray! Five
dollars for my last story, THE Call
Of the Lure!"
Fast Friend-Who from?
Ambitious Author-The express
company. They lost it.-Woman's
Home Companion.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
In the skvscraper.

"And how did you happen to meet
the brother you haven't seen for
years?"
by accident. He and have had
offices on the same floor for ten years
without meeting each other. He goes
home at o'clock; go at sos. He
happened to be delayed five minutes
looking for missing umbrella and
we met in the elevator"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Sincere Prayer.

Teacher-Now. Tommy, suppose
man gave you 500 to keep for him
and then died, what would you do?
Would you pray for him?
Tommy-No. sir; but would pray
for another like him.-The United
Presbyterian.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Only Temporary.

The Wears Daughter-I'm SO sorry
to hear that you have lost your berth
after thirty-flve years service.
The Hopeful Rustic-Ye thank ZEE,
Miss; but ! allus thought that job
wud ma be permanent.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Proaress of Civilization.

Lady-And did you make your con-
gregation give up cannibalism?
Missionary (suppressing GRIM
Not quite; but after much trouble l
persuaded them to use knives and
ks.-The Throne.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Between Friends.

Laura ION her birthday, to friend)-
How l wish ! were twenty?
Friend-Don't you worry about that
You'll be twenty quite long enough
soon.-Fliegende Batter.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
She is Qualified.

$50 you are sure your wife could
vote with proper discrimination
to score bridge game she ought to
have no trouble in marking a ballot"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Avoiding Display.

Maud Emily exhibiting the ring)-
(which II yer ave-" e Gays, gold
an diamonds or 'namel an gold?
Same price," q says: so l 'ad 'namel.
always reckon diamonds looks vul-
gar"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
STONE IN BLADDER REMOVED
IN REMARKABLE WAY

A year and half ago | was taken with
= severe attack Of kidney trouble that
panied me to such an extent that NOR
phine had to be given me. Was attended
by doctor who pronounced it as stone
in the bladder and prescribed Lthia
Water. took Lithia Water and tablets
for some time and received no relief from
them. stopped taking medicines for some
time and having some DR.. Kilmers
Swamp-Root in the house, L, decided to
try it and felt much relieved; while taking
the second bottle commenced to pass
gravel in urine until l had passed in all
at least a half dozen or more and have
not suffered the slightest since and in all
have taken one bottle and half and feel
very grateful to DIR. Kilmer's Swamp Root.
Yours very truly,
II. w. SPINKS.
Camp Hill, Ala.
Personally appeared before me this
10th of August, 1909, H. w. Spinks, who
subscribed the above statement and made
oath that same is true in substance and
in fact.
A. B. LEE,
Istt.rto Notary Public.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17

Mrs. Winsiow's Soothing syrup for Children
t.ething. softens the gums, reduces infiamma
ton, allays paID. cures wind collie Csc a bottle
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17

First Kid-Yes, Edwin, I'd intro
duce you to her but you see, she's
particular.
Second Kid-Gee! How'd you ever
meet her?
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
SIsterty.

Il wonder why Mabel looks in the
glass so often"
Maybe she has grudge against
herself"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
a Book AGENTS order

First Book Agent-Did you receive
an order at that house just saw you
come out Of?
Second Book Agent-Yes, I was
told to git"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
A Business Question.

First Stock Promoter - Yes, ]
skinned this lion myself.
Second Stock Promoter-How many
shares did you sell him?
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17

] Garfield Tea keeps the bodily machinery
in oder; it regulates the digestive organs
| and overcomes constipation.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Important 10 Mothers
The unattainabIe.

Young Bachelor often wonder II
| am making enough money to get
married on.
Old Benedict-Well ! don't know
how much you're making; but you
ain't!-Puck.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17

Garfield Tea overcomes constipation
sick headache and bilious attacks.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
DR.. Pierce'S Golden Medical Discovery

This supplies bloodby aiding
and tonic
and deal having
Kidneys 1t helps to eliminate the from the blood
enrich
feeding the rich blood and doing with
liability Dr. Pierces Medical
dishonest dealer to insult intelligence with the lust good
kind discovery has 40 behind
no alcohol or narcotics ingredients plainly printed
Common Medical Adviser
of and mailing
for the French bound book Address DR. Pierce Buffalo NY
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17

Many self-made men forget to make
themselves agreeable.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17

IT'S difficult for people to generate
advice that is foolproof.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17

Charity is too often charity dis
pensed
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17
Letter 10
DR.. kiiaer D C.
ninEkamton, n. Y,
Prove What Swamp.Root wan no For You

Prove What Swamp Root VIII Do For You
Send to DIR. Kilmer & Co., Bingham
ton, N. Y, for sample bottle. 1t will
convince anyone. You will also receive
a booklet of valuable information, telling
all about the kidneys and bladder. When
writing, be sure and mention this paper.
For sale at all drug stores. Price fifty
cents and one-dollar.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17

Hoax-It's hard to keep a good man
down.
Joax-That's why they put such
heavy monuments over some of them,
guess.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-06-17

HLxA-~N1a<NN
The Holt County sentinel., 1911-02-17
elREPLACeS ARE POPULAR
suitable Furnishings Are Hard -
Find Owing TO the increased
Demand.

open nrepiaces nave become 30 pop
uiar ana are pe'ng USED SO seherai'y
IN all the rooms Of the nome nova
days that the demand Tor andirohs mas
increased accordingly. suitable ana
irons are not always easy to md ana
frequently we see beautiful fireplace
spoiled because mas been supplied
with andfrons out OF proportion ana OF
an altogether inappropriate style.
Sometimes. too. n luxurious big Nv
Ing room fireplace Is given pair OF
dear little old.time irons which would
do exactly for coy little bedroom.
while small hreplaces are furnished
The Holt County sentinel., 1911-02-17
SECRET OF THE BURLAP RUG
eVeksrins Can Be Avoided BY Work.
Ing stitches tooseiy-pretty e.
feets Possible.

"Handsomer than hooked. crochotr6
or woven rugs This war th' "Ncll
nation tina, sent the eyes ~ all the
club TO Mrs browns new hurisp rug
And II really was n beauty
1T WAS really very easy" said H.
tie Mrs brown. with n pretty blush
u Just cut out n square oi blue bur
Lap the size ! wanted. and then I drew
ON Il with crayon y close design oi
scrolls and spirais, Then I threaded
. tape needle a carpet needle will 10
NJ \ mattress one with rag rugs In
two shades Of blue. These strips
rut half inch wide and not too long
~ that they should not get twisted
Across the width II the rug I s.wed
these just ~ close together ~ posi-
BILE. And that WAS all there was Il
a."
Wont the burlap pucker'" asked
anxious Mrs. Green.
oh, no." said Mrs brown, mot Il
you are careful "a work your stitches
loosely. That 10 the secret ~ success
In the making 1 burlap rug"
And that she had mastered her Ne
crst We all agreed.
The Holt County sentinel., 1911-02-17

From time to time attempts are
made 10 Danish or supersede the we'd
ding veil. but, in spite Of ell objec'
lions. II stili persists In the favor OF
the bride. who IL apt 10 be sentimental
rather than reasonable. The way Of
wearing II, however. has been largely
changed; many brides now wear the
veil as n sort Of cap, not falling over
the fact al all. but fastened back with
a circlet Of flowers. In front II reach
co only to the knees. but In the back
to well below the ankles,
Tulle, except for those who have
rare and beautiful old lace. IL succeed
Ing lace In favor: perhaps because
there N no danger Of having part OF
the design ornament ones nose OF
eye! A soft tulle veil. properly drapod
fastened by invisible pearl.headaC
pins and falling over coronet OF
Jewels or OF blossoms, Is as pretty q
sight as any wedding guest could hope
To see.
The Holt County sentinel., 1911-02-17
M~.1 A4~~~
HANDY FOLDING KNIFE CASE
Can Os esslly Made ~ Homo ovt ~
FLANNEL. Serge o. 6rssn
oaise.

Every one does NOT happen to pms.
sess . cRse Of cutlery. but most people
like to keep u second set Of knives
and forks for special occasions, "
care II not taken In storing them. they
easily become rusty, and the ivory ~
the handles turns a bad color.
A simple little case. which allows
each knife, big or small. To be kept
separate from It's neiKhbor. can he
easily made AZ home out Of . broad
piece OF flannel, serge or green baize,
Cut the cloth about two feet long
bind tho two sides with braid u match
the color OF the material and double
one side over lengthways Ill the edge
reaches to within a few inches OF the
other edge Machine-stitch up the two
sides and bind them with braid. Then
stitch down the double part at equal
distances, allowing sufficient space be-
tween each row for inserting q knife
In this way you can store any number
and you will md they will keep In a
perfect condition. The case can BIZ
rolled up and packed away IN . very
little space.