Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1911-07-13
Hats
All Kinds

For goodness sake, Lucy, Are you
starting a hattery?" demanded the
young woman friend who had called.
mo. dear" replied the other young
woman. resignedly, I'm looking over
my hats as sort of warning to my
self. am a victim of relatives-par-
J ticularly aunts.
"A letter from Aunt Lucy this morn
ing notifies me that she will be here
| tomorrow-hence this outbreak of
hats. Some time in the dark ages of
my youth | must have mentioned that
| never knew what to buy in the hat
| line. Since then | have been pursued
| by all my affectionate relatives with
| kiSlly meant offers of assistance. /
| may mention also that my relatives
refuse to take hint, anad If l make
| it stronger than hint father thinks
l am unkind.
| Being a woman and earning my
| own living makes it impossible for me
| to be Independently relatives. If I
were man l could dress as pleased
and let my aunts rage. AS 1t is, Ell
Their offend dadDevgear what my
aunts think, .think wouldn't
do to tell t expensive to
keep the pes
what they please?"
II am going to try that scheme
again this afternoon. The last time
asserted myself Aunt Jane didn't
like my selection, and it took much
longer to return the hat than it did
| to buy it. This is the hat that we got
in it's place.
I've worn it just twice-once on
the right ear. once on the left It
would take $50 worth of hair to keep
1t in place-and my homegrown sup
ply is limited. 1t cost me $3.50 for
each time wore it. Yet I am not
feeble-minded, except in the opinion
Of my relatives, who are disagreeably
strong mentally If l down one aunt
another promptly hobs up-so what's
the use?
Those two hats on the bed Aunt
Dorcas made for me because she
thought Aunt Jane had led me into ex-
travagance. The materials cost twelve
sixty. Aunt Lucy of New York said
they were impossible-our western
styles were so provincial. After she
began to take notice of my headgear
or rather after she gave notice
hats began to arrive from my many
New York cousins G. o. D. Little
notes accompanied them, saying that
I might be able to use them for work
meaning that they were good enough
for Sunday wear. was about to re
fuse the last parcel, but father looked
grieved. If / could treat my relatives
like friends and speak my mind-but
they just give me an injured look and
yet they never get mad enough to
mind their own-hats."
/ You poor thing! How silly for
them to get offended I wouldn't al
low my best friend to dictate what
should wear. Why don't you wear that
stylish hat with the long quill?"
Il did-once. That sword quill near
ly blinded man in the elevator
What he said, after he got through
using stronger language, was that I
ought to hang red lantern on that
quill. But / had already squandered
too much money on the hat. so put
, 1t with the others. You can readily
see why | have become so down
hearted.
IF they only kept hats in hardware
stores l might escape; but let me go
into any millinery store during my
noon hour or on Saturday, and some
, aunt Of mine will bob up. If look
into window and admire hat,
voice is sure to say, Lucy, are you
thinking of getting hat? will help
you select one. That hat you are
looking at is entirely too young for
you Yet know this same aunt tolG'
Miss Hobbs who will never see forty
again. that the same hat was too old,
i for her. Relatives are honest-when
i they are speaking to each other.
Aunt Fannie phoned me this morn
| ing that she intended to go with me
to select hat for me, but l took the
bit in my teeth and told her that Aunt
, Lucy had engaged me for the whole
season. Then Aunt Fannie got peev-
, ish and said 1t was a thankless job
to try to assist people and she tried
to help me merely because ! had to.
! work so hard.
Work! 7 never work SO hard as +
do when relative is buying hat for
me. Pm simply rag. It's certain
, that Aunt Fannie will wear icicles
, when she speaks to Aunt Lucy or me
, and father will blame me. But she
isn't lost to the art of hat hunting
she'll bob up next fall. just can't
: lose those aunts of mine"
2 so your Aunt Lucy is to victimizs
3 you this time?"
A No; didn't say that was going
: to break away from my aunts before
. they broke me financially and phys
I ically? All these hats are going to a
: rummage sale. ! buy a new hat this