The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-09-07
IS BRYAN REALLY DEPARTED.
HAR[)|- Y !!
HHHH

II you share the fallacy, popular
in some quarters, that William Jen-
nings Bryan, OF Lincoln, Neb., rs
dead, go with him to a chautauqua
lecture or ride 40 miles with him on
an interurban trolley car. See. the
populaee fall on his neck. See the
men wiring his right hand dry. Hear
the women purr sweet purrs into
his ear And see William j. himself
receive fat package from the man
ager of the chautauqua, which on
being opened, proves to be none other
than a check for $500 and an assert,
ed collection OF worn but perfectly
good greenbacks.
Dead Nay, and no. William Jen-
nings Bryan is still our most ami
mated politician.
See the mothers OF Georgetown, o.,
where, Bryan spoke recently, plead
ing with the Peerless Leader that he
shake their babies hands. See him
10 it, and also pat baDy's cheek.
See mothers face abeam with happi-
ness.
Hear mother say: This is Mr..
Bryan, baby. Some day 90 be a
great man like him,
Hear father declare: II met you
in Maysviue once, Col. Bryan
And hear the colonel Yes, sir;
remember it was late at night.
The colonel's touch of reminis-
cence causes fathers iron mask OF
care to drop from his face, and II
becomes radioactive with ripping
smiles.
The colonel dead? He's one OF
our liyest wires.
See the lovely town OF Georgetown
See the leading stores all closed In
the colonel's honor. See old cam
paign portraits of the colonel, dug
up from treasure chests. decorating
the windows See the newly painted
white courthouse waving the stars
and stripes from its tower, and only
one OF many gay gonfalons that
waved in Georgetown Tuesday.
See the proprietor OF the leading
dry goods emporium proudly selling
two shirts to the colonel thus becom.
ing the exclusive puryeyor of George.
town to mis- peerlessness, William ]
Bryan, the only.
The colonel deceased? II you
think so, please wake up.
Hear the colonel in the chautauqus
assembly at the Brown county fail
grounds, speaking as he spoke
Tuesday See every seat in the race
track grand stand filled at a quar-
ter per- Hear the colonel on his
tfavorite topic, "Plutocracy. Heal
| the colonel say:
s'If i should run again they Woult
| ring the third term issue on me. Fol
what with one president taking hal
Of my platform, and another presi
dent taking the other half, you SEE
have already had two terms"
And listen to the thunderous ap
plause.,
600 to it.. Bill, go to 1t. =
Right you are, BILL they cry.
Il am very happy now" continues
the colonel Il never felt better II
my life. / am relieved OF the re
sponsibilities of the presidency. VIVA
| is the use of working when you cal
get SOMEBODY else to do your worl
for you in Washington?
Hear EN- laugh and shout: "That'i
good, Bill; right you are.
And the recall" remarks the col
onel, is nothing else than mean
of prying an undesirable official from
the public crib"
"Wow," shouts man up in front
"The recall is simply business
method applied to politics. Wha
| business man would not dismiss al
1
| employe who was unfaithful to hi
trust? And how long, oh, how long
| will we permit unfaithful servant
to draw public salary while they EN-
bezzle power?"
/ Now, listen, will you, to the thun
| Ter of the clap Of hands made har'
/ at the plow.
Bill dead? Forget 1t.
/ Now see MIN get down from tn
platform, all limp of 9collar an
| moist of shirt, while the shoulder Q
his coat, sprinkled with perspira
ton, looks as if the colonel had bee
under a hose. Hear EN- say: "Righ
smart speech, colonel"
THE same old Bill, by George; pu
'er here, colonel"
And hear the Brown county sun
ragette say: Colonel, hope to vot
for you some day"
Very kind of you, replies tn
colonel, blushing all over.
i Say, colonel, please let me hav
your fam" pleads sweet young lad
from Georgetown And the colone
with bow, surrenders his palm lea
thus there is added another Brya
relic to the collection of Bryan coat
ami Bryan hats, and Bryan trousel
and Bryan shirts that are treasure
by lucky democrats in various se'
| tione ~ tho couutrv