The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1911-04-13
AN EASTER PROPOSAL.
"she wasn't worth having anyway!

she wasn't worth having anyway! No.
Not worth having anyway"
That was the way I mused that Easter
afternoon as 1 walked down the street
after seeing her, and that Is still my way
Of thinking.
About two days before tina day I hap
pened to drop in on poor Bifkins. Poor.
because he is possessed of such a name as
Bifkins; because he hasn't ever the av-
efage stock of everyday brain, and, fur
thermore, because he is a good natured,
cheerful sort Of idiot all round, easy to
impose upon. and gullible as the day is
long. :
When I found Bifkins, he was in an aw-
full state. and es he welcomed ne there
were almost tears of joy in his eyes.
Say" said he, coming right to the point,
as all born idiots do, II want to propose
to the loveliest girl-oh, well, 1 don't sup
pose you want to hear all about cr-bu
l want to p to her just the same,
and l don't dare go and ask her outright,
so l want to do it by mail; and, by Jove,
I don't know what to say. Say, isn't writ
Ing a proposal blaZes, eh? I've torn up
about two reams of paper already, and I
was Just about to give her up, when-you
came in. You'll help me, won't your"
l chuckled softly to myself. Here was
a chance for a lark. Poor Bifkins was
so con1ding he'd do almost anything a
fellow suggested, and I knew he would.
I'd written a letter Of proposal that after
noon myself to Miss Helen Goldrcx. and
I knew the task was no easy one, but the::
Imagine poor Bifkins wanting to do the
same thing to some other fair maid.
who is she, Bifkins? p" I asked cynic-
ally.
We'll" said Bifkins after thinking a
minute, I'D rather not tell her name in
case she won't have me. But, say, old
chap, that's no reason for you not to help
me with the letter, is it2" And he looked
at me p~leadingly.
"Oh, not at all, not at ALL" I replied
cheerfully. In fact, on second thought I
considered that I'd rather not know for
1T might be some nice girl I knew, and
that would deter me from helping Bifkins
write the kline of Letter 1 had in mind.
Thanks" was all he could say. "You
don't know how good you are"
oh, don't I, though?' I replied and
then thought to myself I might prove too
good.
"All right, then" said he. Lets get
right at It."
I walked about with my hands in my
pockets for a few moments while he
watched be. when I said:
YOU'D better write as 1 dictate"
Just the thing" he replied and sat
down all ready to go ahead.
You love her an awful lot, do your" I
-Ss-c E-.SsS Se..S 1SsSIS.
"Oh. heapsi" he replied.
And she-er-cares for you?r
Il hin so. Er-I'm quite sure of it!' he
replied.
All right, thought I to myself. This will
be the test Of 1t. Then I began linking
My darling. thought I. No; that would be
too tame. MY dearest darling. Yes, that
would be more like 1t, I thought, SO I
quietly chuckled to myself and began:
M dearest darlingi"
On, say isn't that putting 1t a trife
strong for a proposal?" inquired Bifkins,
turning round.
oh, no." said I carelessly; "the usual
thing"
Well, you ought to know. you've pro-
posed and been refused SO often" he re-
marked, laughing loud at his own con-
ceit.
I said nothing. but IL I had any compunc-
lions before they were now all removed.
SO I went on. hi Bifkins wrote:
NY Dearest Darling-Ever since I first
Glue eyes. Bifkins3 1 thought so)-your
laughing, sky blue ayes and tresses gold
enweof course she has red hair, Bifkins?
tresses. golden as the sunlight on a stun
ming day. I have thought of
nothing else, of nothing, nothing else, but
So you wiH see, darling that my devo-
uon knows no measure, but is boundless
as the ripping, heaving, summer sea.
Daring, You don't knoY how 1t makes
my heart beat when I think of your lovely
azure orbs. resembling the sunny skies Of
Italy, and OF those silky, waving, ripping
tresses chat form you crownIng glory,
for never was there woman wore such a
crown as thine.
Let me call you mine, dearest darling;
let me call you mine.
Write soon. and believe me, dearest dar-
Ing. yours forever and forever,
Cholmondy Bifkins.
When ! had completed debating this