davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

THE era of investigation has begun
l in Washington and soon will affect
every corner of the United States.
It is impossible to walk around
Washington without running across a
Sherlock Holmes. There is no branch
Of the government too inconspicuous
to escape attention. The Democrat
microscope is being cleaned for use
In matters ranging from the action Of
the president in mobilizing United
States troops on the border of Mexico
to the sanitary conditions in the pub
lie buildings.
The various committees cannot get
actively at work in this direction I'M
til December, when the estimates for
expenses will be submitted by the
president, and this affords an opportu-
nifty for the resurrection of number
Of committees. The Investigations
these committees will conduct are as
follows:
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
SHOWS HOW LAZY A CLERK CAN BE

THE lazy government clerk has SC
! long been a standard type in cur
rent fiction that his fellow, the lazy
bureau chief, is often utterly neglect.
ed. OF course, the bureau chief is
fewer and farther between than the
clerk, and his laziness is thereby not
quite so apparent.
1t was a pleasant spring afternoon
In nameless government office. The
town clocks were striking three. The
sunshine lay warm and brilliant across
old rugs, and glancing from the hand
some finish of dull mahogany desks.
A caller entered the anteroom to a
certain bureau chiefs den. 'Is Mr.
X" he began.
The clerk was busy at the telephone,
and waved a hospitable hand toward
a row of empty chairs.
"Just a minute" he said, and then
turned again to the telephone. The
visitor tried not to overhear, but new
ertheless got something like this:
What did Murphy say to that? 8.
o, come now. You did?
Get out. Not so your notice It.
The reason was felt tired and went
out for walk with Murphy.
He ought to have it painted on his
shirt front Well, what do you
suppose I called you up for-to tell
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
GETTING A HIGH STANDARD
chlld's Idea Of Goodness Set Forth
In Perfect Faith, Without
lrreVerenoe.

All things are relative, and to the
child, gazing at life and its wonders
with eyes as yet undimmed by so
phistication or sorrow, nothing is I'm
possible, nothing unspeakable. moth
ing too sacred to be discussed or too
difficult to be attempted. Not irreY-
erence nor impertinence. but inno-
cence prompts such speeches as that
recorded Of the child Of a popular
journalist by his devoted paternal
grandmother.
Grandma" said the little boy, de-
lightedly addressing her. do you
know what's going to happen? Papa
says that II we're real, real good, he'll
take US 10 the circusi"
That's nice" smiled the young
hearted adult between whom and the
eager youngling no hint Of age sepa-
ration mars perfect comradeship.
How good do we have to be?"
The embryo man, after a moment Of
silent consideration: "Oh, as good as
God. / guessl"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

A trial package of Munyon's Paw Paw
Pills will be sent free to anyone on re-
quest. Address Professor Munyon, SD b
Jefferson Sts., Philadelphia, Pa. If you are
In need of medical advice, do not fail to
write Professor Munyon. Your communi-
sation will be treated in strict confidence,
and your case will be diagnosed as care
fully as though you had personal inter
view.
Munyon's Paw Paw Pills are unli1s
VI other laxatives or cathartics. They
coax the liver into activity by gentle
methods. They do not scour, they do
not grippe, they do not weaken, but they
do start all the secretions Of the liver
and stomach in a way that soon puts
these organs in healthy condition and
corrects constipation. In my opinion
constipation is responsible for most all
ments. There are 20 sect Of human
bowels, which is really sewer pipe.
When this pipe becomes clogged the
whole system becomes poisoned, caus-
ing biliousness, indigestion and impure
blood, which often produce rheumatism
and kidney ailments. No woman whO
suffers with constipation or any liver
ailment can expect to have a clear
complexion or enjoy good health. If
had my way I would prohibit the sale
of nine-tenths of the cathartics that are
now being sold for the reason that they
soon destroy the lining of the stomach,
setting up serious forms of indigestion,
and so paTalyze the bowels that they re-
fuse to act unless forced by strong
purgatives.
Munyon's Paw Paw Pills are a tonic
to the stomach, liver and nerves. They
invigorate instead Of weaken; they en-
rich the blood instead Of impoverish
It; they enable the stomach to get all
the nourishment from food that is put
into it.
These pills contain no calome, no
7ope; they are soothing, healing and
stimulating. They school the bowels
to act without physic.
Regular size bottle, containing IS pills,
% cents. Munyon's Laboratory, SD 4
jefferson Sts.. Philadelphia.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
SPEAKER NO LONGER IS RULER

the rules committee. is the most inter.
esting Of the house committee groups.
The great ways and means committee,
In its dual function as tarifi-bill
framer and as committee on commit
tees, prepares the political pathway
for the house majority on which II
must travel to victory or defeat. The
mighty appropriations committee. act
ing as a board Of directors Of the gov.
ernment bank and as the regulator Of
public expenditures, does a non-parti.
san and truly patriotic service to the
entire government. But the rules COM
mittee, which ranks equally with the
two named before-cnrrying out the
figure of the house as a locomotive
must In itself generate the power that
thrills the whole machine with life and
motion and enables II to travel safely
along the legislative highway. Consid.
ering the house as an entire train, the
rules committee is certainly compar-
able TO the pull of the throttle and
carries In it's forward rush, as the
coaches, the other committees.
The engineer Of this locomotive com.
mittee is Representative Robert Lee
Henry of Texas His is the hand that
must close on the levers at the right
time, and his is the hand that must
sound the warning whistle and apply
the brakes and take the upgrades on
the high speed and the down-grades
conservatively and with caution. Be
ing responsible for the locomotives
progress, he is accordingly responsible
for the entire train of committee cars
behind him, and plotting them and
their precious cargo to a safe destina.
toin Is his huge work.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

me things like that? I'll tell you
tonight"
All of which was so obviously moi
government business that the caller in
wardly wondered at the boldness ol
the clerk-and that OF the girl at the
other end Of the wire. For minutes
were passing, Murphy" figured again;
also some unexplained incident of a
shirt bosom and a drug store The
caller blushed, and he read the old
mail he kept in his pocket for just
such occasions. More minutes passed.
"Goodby. What can l do
for you, sir?" said the clerk in an un
apologetic, business-like tone.
Il should like to see Mr.. K,
please"
The clerk smiled.
Hes gone for the day"
Whence the clerks leisure. Like
master, like man-in Washington, D.
c., at least
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

Mr.. James skeen was a widower oi
iifty. He had the reputation Of be
Ing a persistent man. As he had had
a lawsuit that lasted twenty-five years
his persistency had been proved. II
was also known that he had courted
his wife for six years and then car
ried her on by main force.
Mrs. Faber was a widow. She was
pretty we'll fixed financially, and she
didn't care TO marry again. She had
been put to the test and had refused.
She was buxom and good.natured, and
Widower Skeen had no moral or legal
right TO come bothering. But he did.
He made up his mind one day to
ask her to be his Wife He expected
to be refused. but that didn't worry
him.
The widower was hoeing corn in a
lot next to the widows house. He
was barefooted and had on a torn
shirt, a pair Of overalls and an old
straw hat. Five minutes after making
up his mind he dropped his hoe,
climbed the fence and appeared at
the Widows back door. She was scour-
Ing a milk pan. She had polished
her nose as well as the pan.
"Look-a-here, widow" said Mr..
Bkeen, what's the matter of me and
you getting married?"
Lord save us!". gasped the widow
as she polished her hand instead Of
the pan.
Jars you, Ell? Well It shouldn't!
A widow ought to be ready for a pro.
posal any minute"
And a widower ought to have his
ears cuffed for making one! Marry
you, Jim Skeen? Why, wouldn't
think Of it for a minute!"
"Oh, yes, you will You'll think Of
t a great many minutes. Widow
Faber, you are going to be my second
wife as sure as corn grows and string
beans climb"
Il never will, and you get out of
lere and back to your corn!"
Mr.. Skeen went back tc his work
yhistling. The widow was as good
IS his. He let a week elapse and
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
From the Sea the Palace Of the Doses
Is Sight Which Exceeds
Imagination.

A few strokes from the sweeps soon
brought me to one of the most mar
velous prospects which the human
eye can behold-the Plazetta, seen
from the sea. Standing in the bow
of the motionless gondola, / gazed
for some time in mute ecstacy upon
that unrivaled picture, the only one
perhaps that imagination cannot sur
pass.
90 the left, looking from seaward, the
trees in the royal garden form a green
line above the white terraces; next
comes Zecca and the old library, the
work Of San Sovina, with its elegant
arches and it's crown of NEUROLOGICAL
statues. On the right, separated by
a space which forms the PlaKetta-
the vestibule Of the Piazza San Mar
co-the Palace of the Doges shows its
golden facade with its rose and white
marble, its massive pillars supporting
q gallery of slender columns, the rib
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

visiting school girls and their teach.
ers loomed into view from behind a
bush abutting the path to the execu.
tive offices. The girls saw dignified
looking gentleman with a white beard
looking directly at them and apparent.
ly throwing kiss. They glggled. they
blushed and they retreated.
'The old villain" muttered the be.
spectacled teacher.
HE wasn't bad looking was he?"
murmured one of the tenderest OF
the chickens.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
Woman,s Yellow Peril.

Housewives wonder why the under.
wear, table linen, bedding and all
other washable fabrics wear out-fall
TO pieces SO quickly. It's the strong,
yellow soap which eats through the
aber and weakens it to the tearing
point. A pure, wholesome soap need
be no more costly than these destruc-
hve compounds. Hewitt's Easy Task
soap will prove this to be true.
1t is a clean, white soap without
he impurities Of the crude, strong,
yellow soaps, and will do the work
with half the labor. Five cents q cake.
Try It.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

then he met her on the street as she
was going to the postofice and
stopped her to say:
Been thinking that thing over. OF
course? When will you be ready! "
Never in all my born days!" she
replied.
"Oh, yes, you will. Widow, I'm a
determined man. We are going to be
married. 1 as just wondering why
[ didn't marry you two years ago."
you poster me and I'll have the
law on you'll" she almost shouted.
You can't make it pestering to ask
a Yoman to marry you. Jog along,
widow-T'll come for you when work
slacks off a little.
Two weeks later the widow saw Mr..
Skeen approaching the house and she
shut and locked all the doors. He
was in nowise put out. He stopped at
an open window, and with his head
Inside and his body out he cheerfully
inquired:
"Shall we go before the souar'.
widow, or to a preacher I'm willing
you should have your way about IT,"
Neither squar' nor preacher, and
you get out Of that windowl" was
called to him.
"Oh, it's got to be one or the other,
you know. Think it over"
II won't do it!'
'But you'll have to- Widow, I'm
sot, and when I'm sot that's the end
Of it. You are going to be Mrs. skeen
No. 2. You can tell all your friends"
I'll have you arrested before sun
down! I'll go right off now and see
the constable!"
She was as good as her word. She
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

GUS disease. Doan's
Kidney Pills should be
used persistently until
the backache and 9TH
er symptoms disap-
pear.
G. D. Kessler, 4Os 3.
5th st., Mendoza, H.,
says: Kidney trouble
came on me about 20
wars ago and hacama
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
Had His Troubles.


Michael Dolan, an is 1t yourself?"
yes; sure It is"
We'll. ye know thot bletherin' spal-
peen, Wildly Castigan's second hus-
band?"
THAT do"
He bet me bob to a pint Of whis-
Ky couldn't swally an egg without
breakin' the shell NV It,"
AN ye did it?"
II did"
Then phwats ailin' yer"
TITS doom there" laying his hand on
the lower part of his waist coat IF
Jump about I'll break It and cut me
stomach wild the shell, an If kape
quiet It'll hatch and I'll have a
Shanghai rooster scratchin' me In
side"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
His Wurst.

The German proprietor of a Brook
iyn delicatessen store has got far
enough along to pun in English. A
writer in tho New York Sun reports
the fact.
Hanging in the window OF the little
shop is this advertisement:
"The Best You Can Do Is Buy Our
Wurst. YOUTHS Companion.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

90 bad was unable to work for weeks.
l was thin. worn out and nervous; the
doctors admitted they could not help
me and my friends expected me to
die. AS a last hope I began taking
Doan's Kidney Pills and shortly after
passed a gravel stone. Later on sew
eral more stones passed and from then
on I improved until cured"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. so cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
nIMcnlt 70 Ans,uer

Explaining the happenings of the
sixth day of the creation, Miss Fran
ces Hartz read to her Sabbath school
class: "And the Lord God formed man
out Of the dust Of the ground"
Well" spoke up one kid, that's
nothin' new. Did he put him in the
sun to dry, the way We do our mud
pies?"
Miss Hartz dlscreetly slurred the
answer and proceeded with her les
son.-Cleveland Leader.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

one day Of the wonderful cures made
by Lydia i. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound and decided 20 try it,
and 1t has made me a well woman.
My neighbors and friends declare 10
had worked a miracle for me. Lydia
=. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound Is
worth its weight in gold for women
during this period Of life. If it Will
help others you may publish my
letter. Mrs. NATHAN B. GREAToN,
81 N. Main Street. Natick, Mass.
The Change Of Life is the most criti-
cal period Of a woman's existence.
Women everywhere should remember
that there Is no other remedy known
to medicine that will so successfully
carry women through this trying
period as Lydia Z. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound.
If you would like special advice
about your case write a cOnfiden-
tial letter to Mrs. PinlCham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice Is free,
and always helpful
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

Enmeshed were men born, en-
meshed they die, fighting according to
their strength to the end; to fight in
the hope Of freedom, their Joy; to die,
not knowing they are beaten, their
reward.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

The automobile in the middle, NOV
ing on in business; shadows like you
and me skipping out Of its way in
front; oil and used-upPstuff dropping
out behind There you have society
body. break and bones.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
KIDNEY cHILLs AND BAcKAcHE.

If, when you get wet or take cold.
It Settles on the kidneys" and there
is a shivery, chilly sensation in the
back, 1t shows kidney weakness
which Is often the beginning Of seri-
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
Imptoved Type Of comb.

Tonics may be applied as tho hair Is
being combed by comb invented by
Maryland woman, having hollow, per.
forated teeth and 9 reservoir on the
back
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
Protected AGAINST Polson.

Mitmidates, great ruler OF Pontus.
gradually hardened himself AGAINST
every known poison b. taking, tiny
doses; that no poison could catch him
mapping.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

Vi nlo DeAofo 4 tAAe0
Lydia E. Pinkham'a
Vegetable Com
pound. / was In such
a nervous condition
i could not keep
8 till. Ny linn bB
were cold, / had
creepy sensations
and / could not sleep
nights. l was finally
told by two phys
icians that / also
had a tumor Il Rad
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

Mrs. Knicker-Did you hold a short
session with your husband?
Mrs. Bocker-Yes, merely had him
pass an appropriation bill.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

For over fifty years Rheumatism and
sEeuralgia sufferers have found great re-
lief in Hamlins Wizard OIL Don't wait
lor, inflammation to set in. Get a bottle
today.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

9ne sire smaller after using Aliens Foot-Ease,
The antiseptic powder to be shaken into the
shoes. 1t makes tight or new shoes feel easy,
FGrtlss Sn5stitnter For Free triAl package, ad.
dress Allen S. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y,
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

There is still plenty of honey in the
rock for the man who has the pa
hence to keep on pegging away until
he gets to it.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

It sometimes happens that street
light reminds a married man that
there are other places like home.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

An artist is one who can create
that which has the power to haunt
the mind.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

Judge not thy friend until thou
standest in his place.-HilleL
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
Too Much Like Work.

''The boss's son is kicking"
''Why?"
Says he's overworked. All he used
10 do was tear the pages of the ONCE
calendars once a month. Now he has
to wind the eight-day clock, too"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
WHAT
WENT
THROUGH
BefOreta taking Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound.

Natick, Mass. .-'1 cannot express
what went through during the change
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26

Edith-There is q rumor that Daisy
cheats awfully at bridge.
Ethel-Is that why you were so
anxious to get her for a partner last
night7
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-05-26
A COUNTRY SCHOOL FOR GIRLS

In New York City Best features of coun-
try and city life Out-of-door sports on
school park of IS acres near the Hudson
River. Academic Course Primary c 10
Graduation. Upper class for Advanced
Special Students. Music and Art. Write
for catalogue and terms.
Mss Bangs and Mss HhIa Rsrdaeseme. mar lS1m 81 UeGAL
The Washington times., 1911-09-17

part Of political contest will not de-
tract from its Importance. Now that
Senator Bcies Penrose, who hitherto
has been accused of many things, but
never Of being reformer, has taken
charge of the so-called reform move
ment, he viii have TO ego through with
It." A commission of the State senate
is to conduct the investigation.
Director of Public Safety Henry
Clay, who wields power unequaled by
that of any one official in that city,
will be a conspicuous target for the
reform sharpshooters. In view of the
fact that some of the most vociferous
leaders of the new movement were
never before suspected Of having the
slightest desire to protect the taxpsy-
ers Of Philadelphia from the looters, it
is not remarkable that the average
Quaker City citizen has refused thus
far to become excited over the latest
demonstration. The average citizen
figures probably that in the end he
will have to pay the bills for it. Any
other result would astound him as be.
ing without precedent in that latitude.
The Washington times., 1911-09-17
Ambassador O'Brien
On the Way to Capital

Thomas J. O'Brien, for four years
United States Ambassador to Japan,
who was appointed United States Am
bassador to Italy a short time ago, is
en- route to Washington. where he
will confer with the State Depart
ment regarding his new duties. Mr..
OBrien will make brief visit to his
home in Grand Rapids before con-
tinuing to Washington.
-Four years is long enough to stay
In any country other than your own"
Mr.. oBrien said yesterday, on his ar
rival in San Francisco, on the liner
Shtnyo Mayu. THE friendship Of
Japan for the United States is real
friendship, and is based on a solid
foundation"
Mr.. o'Brien has made many friends
In japan, and during his four years
stay In the empire Of the Mikado has
made himself fully conversant with
the affairs. political and commercial,
OF that country.
He Is travelling without attendants.
Mrs. OBrien. now in Germany. will
20ln ner husband on his arrival in
Washington.
The Washington times., 1911-09-17
Delegates Leave Today
For Municipal Show

Enthusiastic over the prospects for a
fruitful convention from an educational
standpoint, the Washington delegation
TO the Municipal Exposition and Good
Roads Congress, which meets tomorrow
In Chicago, will leave this city late
this afternoon, and will not return un-
III the latter part of the week.
The Chicago convention will be one
OF the most important gatherings held
In this country for months. The leading
hsures In the municipal administration
and road building world. will attend as
delegates and will make addresses.
washington will be largely represent
cd at the convention. DR.. Frederick A.
Cleveland, chairman of the Bureau on
Efficiency of the United States Govern
ment. win be among the Washington
men to make addresses. Richard B.
Watrous. secretary of the American
Civic Association, the headquarters Of
which are in. this city, viii make an
address on city planning. DIR. A. D.
Melvin, director of the Bureau of AMI
NAL Industry, will make an address
President Taft will attend and make
an address.
The Washington times., 1911-09-17
Public Utility Body
Best Way to Reforms,
Macfarland Declares

That the public utility commission In
the best method of securing reforms
from the public service corporations Of
the District, and the best way IN which
these corporations can be regulated, Is
the opinion of former Commissioner
Henry. B. F. Macfarland, who has Just
returned from a trip to Montreal and
Quebec. In the latter city Mr.. Mac
farland addressed the convention Of the
Union of Canadian Municipalities.
THE Canadian towns and cities arc
all wrestling with the problem of regu-
lation of public service corporations
said Mr.. Macfarland today, land they
all favor the public utility commission
as the best way in which to do this"
Mr.. Macfarland has not had time to
become acquainted with the present
litigation against the Capital Traction
Company, but reasserted his advocacy
for the creation of a service commits
sion, which he urged when he was
Commissioner and since then in the
Chamber of Commerce
Since May 1, Mr.. Macfarland has been
Washington attorney for the Shesapeaka
& Potomac Telephone Co. In his Of
fetal capacity too, he advocates the
utility commission law and asserts that
the men at the head of the telephone
company also are strong advocates OF
such legislation as the best means TO
secure fair treatment for the company
and good service for the people.