davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
CHIMMIE'S HISTORY

drinking tea awl day long like that
he sed.
Evin at that the Amerikins wood
ent of minded IL mutch If they had
of bin aloud a littel representative,
but King Gorge sed wat did they
want with representashun, taxashun
was enur for them, he sed:
Awl rite. sed the Amerikins, IL We
don't get no representative, send on
yure old tea with the tacks on It,
and we will soon show you weather
we are yure slaves or not, they sed
So the Brtdish was Jest fresh snu6
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

cashier thaw q little, 1t would be that
tie. 1t cost me two bucks, but I'd have
paid twice that much. I must have
passed the cashiers cage q thousand
times yesterday, each time with my
coat wide open.
No, didn't mind the money, but when
the boss came over after q powwow
with Juliet and told me I'd have to
shoot that neckwear because Juliet's
eyes were sensitive, resented It. Say.
sigh for me, will you; feel too dis
couraged.
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

the heading, wore a dark waist al
most sofnber and a black satin sash.
The idea of wearing a dark shirt
and a black satin sash to a moon
light picnic" they all exclaimed, all
at once. in unison, in fact in one
breath at the same.
Get wise, kids said Muriel sweet
ly my steadys a coal HEAVIER. and If
he had his arm around a white waist
for three hours I'd be busy with
washtub and soapsuds all tomorrow
morning"
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

The Bostin tea party sownds like a
good time, but 1t kost sumbody q lot Of
muney, all rite. Evin wen this kuntry
wasen't Amerika the Amerikins would
emit let nobuddy pick on them, wich is
won reezin they are wat they are to-
day, and eyrybody nos wat that Is.
Befoar they had enything to selebrate
the Forth of July about, the Amerikins
sertenly was CRATE tea drinkurs. No.
buddy wood evtr think of ordiring cav
fee or milk then. II was alwaz tea,
tea, tea, like q lot Of old ladys, and II
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
Moon-eyed Muriel;
Or, Solved At Last

All the other girls were dressed in
the laciest kind of shirtwaists.
All the other girls wore sashes of
the palest colors.
Ali the other girls looked askance
at Muriel.
All the other girls looked that way
at Muriel because she, Muriel, Muriel
the moon-eyed, the one mentioned in
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

considering your own. He Is seized
with the wish to greet your espe-
cially prepared dish with, "Oh,
suppose you have stopped eating.
I'm the only animal in this house
who does anything so vulgar"
1t is your own fault If he for
gets his manners and says 1t.
have no patience with these wives
who snivel and say, II did every
thing in my power to make him
happy! And, just see"'
Does 1t never dawn upon you
that a man wants a wife he can re-
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
Our Grocery Clerk
Says Red Is Danger

Don't say 1t. Where's that first prize
red necktie was sporting yesterday
Canned, gentle inquirer. canned with
the rest of the has beens And at that
I never expect to see another tie Of
Just that shade Of red or one that you
can see quite so far.
I bought 1t in q desperate effort to
make a crash with Juliet. thought If
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
The Northern View
April 30, 1851 CTuesdayD.

The trains which left Baltimore fol
Washington yesterday were stopped al
Annapolis Junction by government
troops, and forced to return. 1t is i'm.
possible to learn how soon traffic be,
tween the two cities will be resumed
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
Dame Fashions Jumps
Give Us the Dumps

We freely confess that the tip of a
toe
Meath and old-fashioned volumi-
nous skirt
Never quite filled us with all sorts
Of woe,
Or branded the girl as a flirt.
But now, in these days of "harems
and hobbies
And girls wildly crossing their
feet,
Our brains are filled up with the
wobbly wobbles,
And we're jumping right out of
our seat.
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

enybody diden't like 1t they new wat
they Good do.
And that's why King Gorge and
the Bridish thawt they Good have
sinsh putting big tacks on the tea,
so the Amerikins would have to pay
moar than wat II was werth.
Serves them rite, King George ssd,
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
Pats View OF II

Chauffeur suppose, now you
wouldn't believe this car was 40 horse
! power?
McGuire-Forty hor-r-sepoweri Look
at that Begor, it'll cost yez some-
thin fer oats!-Tit-Bits.
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
The Southern View
April 30, 1851 CTuesday)

NpTII 0U, ISOI NIUtHudNJ
The report that Lincoln will blockade
all ports in Virginia and North Caro-
lima has been confirmed. The long
bridge at Washington is guarded on the
northern side by a large force of fed
craI troops and on the southern side by
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
Loretta's Looking Glass

SsT CAN'T understand it! The
harder I try to please my
husband the less 1 succeed.
He seems to take it for granted that
1 should do everything to make
myself satisfactory to him without
having any reward of appreciation.
And, if I do something especially
calculated to make him happy, he
often gets grouchy instead"
You Are a Bore
You are really worried. Your in
tentions are so good that you as
sumo the right of martyrdom be-
cause they are not taken at your
own valuation. But I can tell you
something. You are a bore.
Maybe one of your troubles is
that you have tried to please your
husband in your own way. Suppose
you take a turn at pleasing him in
some other way. Experiment till
you find a method.
These women who place a dish
upon the table with a kind of l.
hope-you'l 'll-like-it-de dear-I-made-it-to-
please-you air seem to wake the
very devil in a husbands disposi-
ton. There Is a martyrlike sub
missiveness to the opinion of the
lord and master that injects a sense
of being put in the wrong. You
make man feel as If he imposed
his tastes on you to the exclusio ion of
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

Last evening the bodies of three mem
bers of the Massachusetts regiment who
were killed by the mob in Baltimore on
April IS, arrived in this city on their
way to BOs ton, where they will be given
a public funeral and buried with all the
military honors.
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

e memorable struggle which attracted the attention
of the whole civilized world and known the civil
war, began just fifty years ago.
The old newspapers OF both northern and
southern cities published during that stirring period
have been searched, and from day to day the
news and current reflection of public sentiment
presented they appeared in each section at that
time
From the southland the dispatches taken
directly from the files of an old-time newspaper Of
Richmond, Va, and from the north the news is
drawn from several sources, including files of old
of the larger cities.
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

to send on the tea. And the Ameri-
kins in Boston got awl dressed up
like IndiunS Bekaus If there's eny-
thing a Indiun hates, it's tea, and
dumpted all the tea into the Bostin
river. And IL there's tea growing on
the bottom of the Bostin river today,
you know the reezin.
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
Chew These Carefully;
They Aid Digestion
TOO OGLARING

I'm talking to a copper.
He told an awful whopper.
The copper murmured, It's a cinch
That wouldn't do you at a pinch"
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

rights may soon put his regiment in the
field.
Editors of the Tenth Legion (Wood-
stock, Va and of the Lexington
Valley Star say farewell to their
readers and enter the service OF the
state.
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

And Pm always hopn against hope that him
he'll have little weights hangin' each side show people
it looks the they do side shows
The painfy fashnable the
every bit funny vn skeleton added
his face centrally funn That's of Belle
but all the worlds and the side shows almost
big
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
Day Go Wrong?
AW, Try These
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY

A big peace dinner is to be arranged.
This is like getting things peace-meaI.
The Pink Tn.
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

Not Boarding House Kind
rs your wife a good cook?"
rs she a good cook? Say, I believe
that woman could make something
good TO eat out Of prunes."
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
Still Hoping

II have good reasons" said the poet,
for believing that the world is begin
ming to think we'll of me-
We'll" his wife replied, why
shouldn't 1t? You're practically a
dead one"
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

day in the year. that's Belle; people
half the vin hodn idea that
akn about unless they have
hundred miles o it.
Now, the last time took in side show about million people
popyed starin the lionaced boy and loon
though they thought ridiculous of the let them
in for 10 don't deny that the onfaced
of admission, but he couldn't help don't consider
half freak needle pass
every day goin home
The Washington times., 1911-04-30

AVN up your pennies to go to the circus, BELIEF
don't know what the old folks would do if there
wasn't any circus to take the kids to- It's fact,
Belle, to every bored lookin' kid at the circus
you'll see six seven old fogies that oughtnt to
rap about the clowns or whether or not the
stout, bluelegged lady the trapeze is ever gon'
to stop posin' and get to work.
It's the side show that in'trests me- Belle It's
not much what you see there as the way
peoplell open their mouths and almost break their
necks rubberin when they can see bigger freaks
free of charge right outside their front doors
The Washington times., 1911-04-30
Defined

W nat Is eOSSlp!
The unkind things people say about
NOT "
New-York tribune., 1911-01-29
MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENTS.

on Saturday evening. January Z, at the
National Academy Of Musical Art. Nos. 40
and 81 West 18th street, Mrs Jessie Nc
Tntosh Graeffe gave what IL -eid 20 have
hccn one OF the most brilliant musical en-
tertainments ever given by the academy
The programme was opened by Ernest
Rayne Manning pianist one Of the teach
ers Of the academy, who gave the Sonata,
on 81. By Beethoven with power Nine
Estelle Burns -Roure, teacher of voice gave
the Aria from "Tosca." showing her dra-
matte soprano voice TO great advantage
Later she delighted the audience by sing
ing "Habanars," from Carmen" in Eng
lish. Anna often the violinist. gave two
hunters. T. fat Nocturne. ~ Chopin. and
the popular HERE Kat, by Hubay. with
stvle and finish. Valentine Aht, the harp
ist gave two OF his own compositions in
pleasine manner. The musical numbers
were varied by Miss Leila Simon. giving
two dramatic readings from the Bible Mrs
Graeffe. who has only recently opened the
school. comes from the South. and is said
TO he a woman OF rare executive ability.
AT the close OF the concert refreshments
New-York tribune., 1911-01-29

ro,,,or,, qt ar 4 o'clock Selections from
I Bach. Domenico Scaratti, Haydn ana
Weber appear on the programme.
Several of the Mehan Studio pupils are
having a busy season. Miss Hazel Lee,
soprano. will appear this evening for the
Concorda Society at waterbury conn
Mrs Mary Jordan. a conralto, was 'he
soloist for the Mems Club CT Brooklyn on
January 10 Last Tuesday the same puph
sang at the Lafayette Avenue Presbyterian
Church OF Brooklyn. Miss Alice Preston
another soprano pupil. sang at the Plaza on
January 10 for a benefit given under the
auspices OF the Woman's Municipal League.
The first week In January she gave re-
cital in Washington
Florence Mulford, assisted by chorus
OF her pupils. will present THE Daughter
Of Jairus" at the vesper service of St
Paurs Methodist Episcopal Church, New
ark, ~ j.. this afternoon.
Last Thursday evening he pupils or
Theodora Ursula Irvine gave their annual
recital in the East Room of the Waldorf
Astoria before a large and enthusiastic
audience An excellent programme was
arranged Among those taking part were
Mona Mundell, a flfteen-year-old girl. who
gave the potion scene from Romeo and
Juliet" Miss Vera Sabsovich a Russian
prpil. read the scene from THE Spanish
Gypsy" effectively. Josephine Sharkey
who IS fast becoming well known as
reader OF Irish lyrics. gave several selec-
tons. Lucy Cotton contributed Christina"
from Browning. The Misses Hazel Schwarz
and Beatrice Kilgore appeared rs Rosalind
and Celia IN a scene from "As You Like
It." Helen Tuthin read Lewis Rand" ny
Mary Johnston May Crowley's offering
was Lullaby" and Miss jeanette Rosen-
band read THE Man with the Hoe"
Miss Maud Morgan. the harpist. an
nounces a harp concert for the benefit OF
the New York Protestant Episcopal City
N'Tsion Society to take place Thursday
afternoon, February ?. by courtesy OF Mrs.
william X Vanderbilt, q, No $50 Fifth
avenue.
Ceclle NJ Behrens. pianist and teacher,
gave a musical last Friday afternoon az
the Hotel Plaza. The feature OF the pro-
gramme was a Polonaise for piano and vio-
lin, by Chopin. in which Mrs. Behrens was
assisted by David Schmidt. violinist Mrs.
Behrens also played compositions by
Mason. Dvorak ard Liszt.
\ concert was given last Tuesday even
ing b. the Cath Sangerbund under the di-
New-York tribune., 1911-01-29

Then he few of TO rejon the other elves
and regale them with his Jokes and clown
tricks.
But when the poor clown awoke he had
very strange and uncomfortable feeling.
Dear met he said. 'I wonder what's
the matter with me? / don't feel a bit
happy, somehow. Oh, we'll perhaps II will
wear off as the day goes on"
But it didn't. All day long he was as
gloomy as possible. and when he came into
the circus ring the children were deeply
disappointed Their merry friend was COM
pletely changed. And this kept on for two
or three days. until the clown decided TO
leave the circus. He would have gone at
once II it had not been for a certain camel
named Maria.
Maria was one OF the most troublesome
camels in the circus. She never did what
she was expected to do When they brought
Eer her food she invariably knocked over
the dish; when they took her out into the
circus ring she insisted on walking back
ward, and when they wanted her to start
on the camel race, which was one OF the
features of the programme, she invariably
lay down. Consequently the manager OF the
circus had just about decided TO get rid of
ing it over. when along came the elf who
had stolen the clowns sense of humor. His
conscience had been troubling him and he
wanted to find out how the clown was get
ting along.
Seeing Maria looking pensive. the elf
few over and perched on a circus wagon
beside her.
whats the natter" he asked, for elves
can talk 10 Camels
Maria shook her head gloomily Matter
encugh!" she said
We'll we'll" said the elf, sympathetically.
II can't get rid Of it, said Maria gloom
ilv.
Cant you?' said the elf, and then added
taCtfully, what is il you can't get rid OFF,
"My sense of humor" said Maria dis
mally. 1T gets me into all sorts of trou-
BILE. 1t makes me walk backward when /
ought TO walk forward and lie down when
l ought to run and knock over the dish
when they bring me my dinner. A camel"
New-York tribune., 1911-01-29

Contest No 1 (Fairy Tale Puzzle)-
Choice Of a sterling silver Tribune badge,
a set of battieship postcards, German sll-
yer purse with chain. an interesting book,
a gold filed belt pin, box OF water color
paints or gold filed tie clasp for the
neatest and best three answers
Contest No. 2 drawing Contest )-Choice
OF the same prizes as are offered in Contest
No for the best two drawings.
Contest No. 8 Things TO Think About -
You may solve any two OF the four puzzles
that you like, and forsthe neatest and best
two answers we offer the choice OF the
same prizes as in Contest No. 1.
Contest No. (Our Letter Box)-A prize
Of 81 is given for every letter printed un-
der this heading The letter may contain
incidents In your life, anecdotes of pets.
novel school experiences. things seen IN
travel or made up stories. These stories
must be original and must be written on
one side Of the paper. Letters entitled to
New-York tribune., 1911-01-29
LAST WEEKS PRIZE WINNERS

The parts Of this puzzle when properly
arranged illustrate the rhyme OF "Old
Mother Hubbard"
The prize winners and their prizes are
Marion Kirkham, aged ten, New Haven.
an interesting book: Robert D. Craig, aged
nine Box 50. Greenwich. Conn, Tribune
badee and Carolyn Mason. aged twelve,
savbrook. Conn. a gold filled belt pin
,rbirgs n Think About.-The two prize
winners and their prizes are Daniel j.
Keane. aged fifteen, No. 6S5 Howard ave-
nue., New Haven, an interesting oooK' anu
Ambrose Coley. thirteen, No lSl Forman
avenue. New Haven, set OF battieship
PV5uI"L Our Letter Box-see letters by prize win
uers.
New-York tribune., 1911-01-29
HONOR LIST.

l. Gregory Abbott: 2. Herman Altman;
9. Theodore Ames; {. Wyllys p. Ames .,
Lila Baines; 6, Dorothy Bebernitz; 7, Will
lam Becker; s, Ada NJ. Bell; Q, Evelyn
Brewster; 10. Hazel Carlock; II, Virginia
Clark; u, Alice Caulfield; 1S, Lillian Claar;
A. Doris Chairman; IS, Gladys Conrad; 16
Mary Katherine Conway; II, John Cooney
IS, Lillian Crehan; 15 Gladys Croissant ~
Eva May Daniels; 21. Kathryn l.. Doherty;
22 John f. Fowler; %, Emily e. Gordon
a. Horace Gore; %, John German; 26
Charles Gregory; 27, John F. Halloran; 8
Constance f. HART; %. Clark A. Heydoni
90 Marie Kendall; 81, Dorothy Klenke; 81
Morris Ketchum; 33, Henry Klein; a. Dor
othv Knudsen; 50, Edna f. Kogge; SO
Louise Kuhhorn; 81. Isabelle Kuntsmann
3S Virginia Leary; 80, Anna Lightcap; 40
Marvin Loves; Al, Grace j. Manlove; AZ
Janet Marchant; 49, Margaret Miller; a.
Vincent O'Connell; 45, Malcolmn H. Oct
finger; IS. Tessie Peterson; AZ, Claudia Pop
Off as Selden s. Richards; SS. Dorothy
Searles; 80, Edith Won Eltz.
New-York tribune., 1911-01-29
Musical Notes and From the Opposite Rage

ly principal tenor Of the Martin and WIN.
Jams Opera Company and leading tenor or
the National Opera Company, who mas
been touring the Western cities with sue
cess. has recently signed contract Tor a
period OF four years with Andreas Dippei.
OF the Chicago Opera Company. Mr. En-
role announces that, at the request or MS
many friends, he has decided TO accept q
limited number Of pupils at his studio, No.
10 West 10th street
The pupils Of Valentine Abt gave an IN
formal musical at their teachers studio ir
Carnegie Hall. yesterday noon. The pro-
eramme consisted OF mandolin, guitar ana
harp numbers The playing OF the pupils
reflected much credit on their teacher.
The Ziegler Institute reports the placing
OF several OF its pupils. Miss Ida Marceila
Cowen has been engaged 10 sing In tho
Park Slope Church, Of Brooklyn; Miss Mar
tin. at Trinity Lutheran Church, OF Ian
caster, Penn; Miss Hertz with the quartet
choir OF the Pine Street Presbyterian
Church, Harrisburg. Penn. and Miss Phil-
lips. in charge Of the voice department OK
Albright College Myerstown, Penn. The
courses of study at the institute include
classes in French and italian, harmony,
sight singing. dicton, acting and physical
culture. and lectures on various subjects OF
interest and Importance 10 the students.
Miss Gertrude Savage, one OF tho solo
pianists from the Russell Studios. Carnegie
Hall will give recital Of pianoforte COM
positions By Robert Schumann, In Wallace
Hall. on Wednesday afternoon. Miss Saw
age vii! play the entire 'Etudes SYM
rhorlques" and the Carnival Scenes"
with selections from "Kreisleifana." Fan
+ TASTE Stuecke." "Kinderscenen" and
"Faschingschwauk aus Wien Miss Alice
/ Anthony, soprano. also OF the Russell
Studios. will assist Miss Savage. singing
tho schumenn cycle, 'Woman's Life ccA
Love-
Florence Haubiel Pratt gave her January
pupils musical. assisted by Blatchford
Kavenaugh. tenor. last Thursday evening,
at her studio. No 25i West S7th street.
Among those who appeared were Elsa
Armbrust. Clara Armbrust. Ella Bieber.
Harry Tower. Clara Reynolds. Elizabeth
King. Jessie King. Henrietta Seyd, Bertha
Goudy and Irene Brady.
New-York tribune., 1911-01-29
Hos~ 80 HUi,, a Prize.

the prize of 81 are often crowded out for
lack OF space In the week in which they
are received. but II such is the case they
always appear in the page later.
In sending answers TO puzzles II Is not
necessary TO send letter with them. Use
IL you can. paper OF the ordinary letter
size. and write your name. address. age
and choice OF prize in the upper right
hand corner Of the first page. IL send
ing any drawing or returning cut-out.
attach 1t to the paper bearing your name.
ETC.
Address letters TO Little Men and Little
Women, New-York Tribune. New York IL
you address them simply to The Tribune
they will go 10 some other department and
may not reach the Office OF Little Men and
Little Women in time to be entered In the
contest.
Age and neatness are considered In
awarding prizes.
The contest closes on February 2.
New-York tribune., 1911-01-29

the programme will be Finnish Rhapsody
by Kayanus, a composition never before
played in America. Rachmaninoff's de-
scriptive piece. The Cliff" is 10 be played
and the Fourth Symphony, in minor, OF
Tschaikowsky.
The programme in full is as follows:
Finnish Rhapsody (nrst time) .Ksyanus
The CIH fNaSiihahiiVlt
Concerto for violin. II minor. ..... Wienawski
Miss Kathleen Parlow
symphony No. T. f minor. .TschaikoWsky
This is the programme of tho Peoples
Symphony concert this afternoon in Carne-
gle Hall:
Overture "The Merry Wives Of Windsor"
Fifth Symphony minor. ......... Beethoven
Piano Concerto. minor, Op. % Gee. Saint-Saens
Soloist. Miss Laeta Hartley.
"Hellafest." from die K6nigskinder".
Humperdinck
New-York tribune., 1911-01-29
Obe Stolen Sense Of Hunor

rbere was once a little elf who was very
.s8 He couldn't help it; he was just made
~, way. And when other elves danced in
ave moonlight he sat by himself In the
.,oo,n and let large tears flow haltingly
sou,n his cheeks And when the other little
s,,es laughed and joked he looked at them
=, amazement and thought. Now why do
,,ev do that? I can't see anything funny.
IN fact I don't know what they mean when
tbev call things funny
But NJ last when he had thought about
q q long time, he came to conclusion
which sometimes happens if you think long
enough The trouble with me-" he said.
sis that have no sense of humor Now.
rbere shall / get sense of humor?" So
te thought another long time and came TO
smother conclusion. Il will CO." he said,
oout into the world and find the funniest
,erson on earth and then | will take his
sense Of humor away from him.
So he went out into the world right away
that minute. before he had time to change
his mind and he flew over all the countries
m the world Sometimes he stopped at
houses or cottages or even palaces and
listened behind doors or windows or down
the chimneys to find the funniest person in
The world once in a while he would find
. very Jolly baby and decide, 'Here is at
last the very funniest person in all the
world" hut after he had fingered around
a few days the elf would hear that par
ficularly jolly baby cry loud and long
about nothing at all, and he would fly away
IN a hurry and exclaim Good gracious
ne. don't want that kind of a sense of
humor"
But at last. after a good deal Of search,
the elf found a person who seemed TO he
al fun and smiles and jokes. He was a
circus clown. and he kept the children
laughing from morning till night.
That's the person I'm looking for" said
the Elf. after he had watched the clown
for a day or two. IF 1 take his sense of
humor III be the jolliest elf in all Elf
land
So that very night the elf went TO the
clown while he was asleep and stole his
sense Of humor.
can't tell yol how ne did IT, for two rea-
sons The first is that / don't want the
secret TO be known. because then some
people might take away other peoples
senses Of humor and everything would be
very complicated and unpleasant. And the
second reason is that I haven't the least
idea how he did it. anyhow.
But the minute he had stolen the clown S
sense Of humor the little elf nearly burst
out laughing lie had 10 clap his hands
over his mouth. and fly away at once for
fear Of waking the clown. but the minute
he was safely outside he began TO dance
and shout and laugh and caper with glee,
until the people asleep in their beds muir
INJURED. How noisy the wind is tonight