davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
HUMOR or THE DAY

Don't you think there is a great like
moss between me and Mona Lisa, my
dear71 Yes. You can follow her exam
pie and get stolen, too, If you like
Lustige Blaetter-
"Father. what does it mean when it says
slxid-gIoved reformers % 1T means a
man who's trying to stop graft without
iniuring the business Of the grafters. -
Life
Ibid YOU ever play in Hamlet2' in
ouired a theatrical manager of recent
ACQUISITION to his company. Ever. ex-
claimed the newcomer why, I've played
in every hamlet between here ana Nj
obrara. -Neb.''-Pathfinder
The sad Awakening. Mrs. Knagger-I
remember the time when you We're Just
1. but ! didn't realize 1t at the time
London Opinion
Tono-Did her last husband die? Jack
No he decentralization Transcript
"captain. is there much danger?'' ''osot
a particIe. A moving-picture outfit viii
soon be along and rescue US after they
have taken d few films '-l-ouisvile Cour-
ier-Journal-
Kuicker-why does Jones keep a par
rotg Bocker-It IS trained TO yell Cue
koo ten times whenever ne colhes nome
New York sun
knew His Man-AIarSs--Don' you think
- strange owens doesn't pay me that
4.,,,,e,. he owes me2 Parks-It would be
a hanged sight stranger II he did--Esx-
change.
F4oweII-Edison says that we sleep too
much. PoyveII-Well. isn't his fault; he
| has invented enough things to keep US
! awake--LAfe-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
BECAUSE OF HER.


With bare brown legs and faded Bingham
gown
saw her first-a lovely little girl.
Her slender fingers clasped within my
own,
With low, sweet laughter. set my heart
awhirl,
From out her wondrous eyes OF darkest
shone forth a soul all pure and unde-
filed,
And ali things young and beautiful took
An added charm because she was a
child
Again 1 saw her as a maiden grow.
half-ope'd blossom. whose rare grace
The promise of the bud. and yet gave
OF greater glories. when, if God so
willed,
The haif-grown rose should ope to fullest
flower.
I brought my gifts of frankincense and
To lay them at her feet; and evermore
I reverenced Womanhood, because OF
Her.
And now I watch her rocking to and FRO.
And grooming low within the dimmlns
light;
A tiny head is pillowed on her arm,
A tiny form is cuddled warm and ugnt.
A glow is on her face-a hgnt methlnhs
That never on the land or sea o1o rest
All Motherhood is sacred no" TO me-
Because it is my baby at her oreast'
-Ainslie's Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
.HYHAWKER JOTS

AS Mark Gretchen points out: The
easiest thing in the world to part with
is a kind word and it is usually priced
What is white slavery?" asked
Willie Sincaller of his father, accord
ing to the Vinland Vine. Have you
noticed that Connie Mack has sold two
of his players p responded Bill.
Noting that a Kansas City minister
has planned a coon hunt for his sun
day school class, Editor Harris of the
Ottawa Herald adds that that man
would make a hit in any community
The visit of Mrs. Cash at Columbus
Just at this time with the Christmas
shopping in full swing should be very
welcome, says the Parsons Sun, and as
she is accompanied by her daughter
that means more Cash. Glory bel
1 note Of warning from the Law
renee Journal-Wo There is some
urging to get Fred Wand egrift to write
a political history of Kansas. If he
consents some fellows will have to hide
out. Fred never was known to mince
matters.
Commenting on the decree of Doc.
Crllnlbine that all Kansas eggs must
hereafter be dated, the Leavenw orth
Post SAYS: This doesn't apply to the
setting Of a dozen or fifteen that farm
or bows find under the shed and which
are put in with the fresh ones
We hope. says the Newton kansan-
Republican, that Game Warden Dyche
| is telling the truth when he says there
the state will have at least one mess
of fish each week, but We want it I'M
derstood that carp are not fish; they
"a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
QUAKER MEDITATIoNs.

LFrom the Philadelphia Record-1
FIattery seldom begins at home
Keep your happiness in circulation
Even poor excuse may have some
rich relations.
Even the man with a family tree may
saw wood and say nothing.
1t is rather painful to attempt to sit on
a man who is too sharp for you
In his efforts to be known as good
fellow many a man has come to a bad
end
It isn't because man. is stingy that ne
hates to tell a story at his own expense.
Memory is something that enables US to
forget our debts and remember our
debtors.
some people are SO afraid of standing
in their own light that they hide it under
a bushel-
succeeded where some other man failed
if he had only had the chance first
Many a woman who knows exactly how
4 husband ought to be managed never
has a chance to demonstrate her theories
Tonnly-'Pop. what is a monoiogue?' p
To1nmy's Pop-'A monologue, my som, Is
a conversation a woman carries on with
her husband.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
POINTED PARAGRAPHS


BETTER one foot IN the grave than two
light hearts are often closely associated
with light heads.
r. man is TOO slow 70 catch cold II can
at least overtake him.
- ,.o,,re man doesn't know that he IS
IN love. the girl should tell him.
F7aseban players know more about dia-
monds that jewelers. do about baseball
70 easy for a man 20 admire r. strong
s..71 ,.-orl7ar-if ire isn't married 10 her.
Ma, a man generates dislike for all
s..qstsrs soon after having been marie J.
by one t. to
,.-'.,.a more il it had all the comfort large.
club. III, 80
Hrd she will answer IN detail narrow
H., exact number Of months, " &c 10
days fall lie -
can't help feeling sorry for than 90 - o.
indfvidual who undertakes 80. - t9
him that he doesn't Il. 25c 10 -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
JOURNAL ENTRIES

TO get a Job is not so difficult. The
rub comes in holding it.
x
Were it not so hard to forget it
would be much easier to forgive.
= y
Many a man who refuses to take a
chance gets sore because he never
y
If there is nothing in a name, why
do people get so offended when called
some of them?
Few wives are satisfied with Christ
mas presents from their husbands I'M
less they're permitted to pick them
out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

AGE AND ATToAIOBILEs

AGE AND AUTOMOBILES
The years have not been 50 many since
a man Of 60 was an old, old man. HIS
teeth We're gone. Is well as most OF his
hair, and he wagged a little white head
after the manner OF the prophets and he
was full of aches and pains and his chill
dren quarreled over his property before
he was buried. He walked in the dead.
dead past and talked in mournfui tone
and passed over undecided whether he
would be buried by the side of his first
or fourth wife
But all this is changed Most men who
have passed 90 and are we'll around the 20
mark are very much alive and have as
much fun as men of half their years. No
longer does the retired farmer or business
man doze by the chimney log. He col
lects his outstanding accounts. loans his
money, buys an automobile. and proceeds
to demonstrate that his latter days may
be better than his first. He goes honixing
along the streets and out into the coun-
try lanes. He goes to other counties TO
visit old friends and relatives. He IS
frightening his life ten years and he has
more fun in each OF them than IN any
ten of his previous life.
And he goes smooth shaver and wears
an auto cap fitted rakishly over one eye,
the mule team OF some younger man IN
passing. and takes the cussing he gets as
If ii were the finest of compliments to his
youthful dash and deviltry.
If you feel yourself growing old try a
course Of automobile treatment. There IS
no reason why man who breathes Kan
sas ozone and drives an automobile
should not live to a hundred years
Toronto Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
REFLECTIONS OF \ BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press.l

FROM the New / OK TTess.I
The most successful way to manage
woman is not to try
The best part Of dining in a restaurant
as the guest OF somebody is he has to do
the tipping
If seems as II a man could be more
afraid to do right and be laughed at than
wrong and praised
A falnify row just gets swinging to the
sa+fsfaction of man when he has to go
ard die and miss the rest of it.
A man who could carry home case OF
drinkables and think it as light as a
feather would feel his back was breaking
if Il was his wife's hat, weighing pound.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
DAFFYDuS
BY U. NoALL.

If a tree broke a window would the
window say tremendous
IAuctioneer, please stop that saIeD
If there is no grass in the Arctic cir
Gle what does the Eskimo2
(Hey, Doc. Please pass The gum
drops-)
When a big wind blows in central
Kansas does Great Bend2
(Believe US, Percy. There's no time
like pastime.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

Unusual excitement seems to pre-
vail in the political arena because of
news from washington that certain
friends" Of Colonel Roosevelt are no
longer concealing the fact that there
is a concerted movement to give him
the next Republican presidential nom
ination. Several months before the
Republican national convention of
three years ago. there was a similar
concerted movement TO force a re-
nomination of Colonel Roosevelt He
nipped it in the bud. And history is
likely to repeat itself in this particular.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

Four of the Kansas roads running
through Topeka are to have place in
the national automobile blue book to
be published for 1912. It might not be
advisable to reproduce pictures of these
roads after a hard rain. But there is
good reason to hope for better roads
around here in the near future.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

No one need waste any time in try
ing to train a rooster and an owl to
sing a duet. DR.. Loveland is authority
for the statement that a ROSTERS voice
is pitched in B fiat. while an owl
MARBLES in D flat. Even Wagner
couldn't harmonic those tones.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

What pray tell. has the war depart
ment been doing with the 100000
600 and more each year that congress
has been turning over to it for the
past decade? Mr.. Stimson, the secre-
tary of war, insists that the contin-
geney of a war with a first class power
would find the army of the United
states practically unprepared.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

It having been determined definitely
that the old battleship Maine was
blown up by an external explosion, the
question is now being pressed as to
who blew up the Maine. Why not let
this matter drop? Nothing of salts
faction can be demanded at this late
day of the guilty parties, even if the
blame could be placed
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

Approval has been given by the city
commissioners for 40 blocks of new paw
ing next year. And this is just be-
ginning. Inasmuch as this new pave
ment is being demanded by the people
of the city, or large number OF them'
protests at this time next year against
increased taxes will come with very bad
grace
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

A straw vote is being taken in this
vicinity on the presidential candidates
One reason why straw vote does not
amount to much is because the men
who are enthusiastic participants in 1t
are generally among those who haven
the time to go to the polls on election
day and discharge the great duty Of
o5+i-o-SI,iD
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
by The WY
BY HARVEY PARSONS.

The world is made up of number
of various things-including people.
chances are good that some OF sald
things will send roast turkey ana
flowers to numbers 25,S14 and z6,Sl5
on Christmas day.
Purely Personal: Will some frlend
who has, or knows of ME OF tnas
alleged comic weekly Puck NsaIu
file covering the months of september
and October), kindly drop TINS depart
ment a postage card?
Every time Queen Victoria of Spain
produces a new one, the Associated
Press considers it an Event we holo
that five in five years constitutes
habit.
Willie Allie White says the LaFo1-
lette campaign in Kansas has not Deen
doned ont because 1--WE are trying to
get together The railroad service
between Emporia and the governor
office is so good that a mere outsider
cannot help wondering what mas kept
''we' from getting together before TINS
time.
From the attitude of Russia on the
United States passport, we gather that
the Russian national beverage, vodka.
is similar to Topeka "nigger booze
| inasmuch as it is producer ana
breeder of serious trouble.
The debutante of 1911 has an adj
vantage over her older sisters. 1t has
been more than 10 years since the
practice of photographing naked girl
babies in a wash bowl. and then plant
| ing said photos in the family album
where a future sweetheart might flnd
them, has been in good repute.
az would like to go hunting with
this Prof Dyche,' says Hondo Muir
1 ply II don't believe all of his tneo-
ries but as one who has hunted some,
/ believe that a man who has potteo
polar bears at short range would be
| =, safe ouail-hunting companion. Gun
! accidents are matter of nerves, rather
than carelessness, because one who is
not nervous is not careless.
Notice is hereby given that I will
not submit to being tied on behind T.
r. if there is any chance of his being
drafted; being dragged over rough
ground at a rapid rate is my idea OF
| no celebrating outdoor sport jack
Supp.
| lawn Dawson's opinion that the
Youthful truant is the future safe
cracker is not based on fact A num-
Der of perfectly good college graduates
in this town are working Tor ana gray
ing salaries from the truants OF 70
years ago.
When a woman files a breach-of-
promise suit, she usually opens by
coyly admitting that her nervous sys-
tenn and general health have been roo
| ined by reason of the defendant s
failure to marry her. Most any mar
ried woman cou1d-if she would-tes-
tify that condition alleged is the gen.
eral result of marriage, rather than
lack of marriage.
If people made the same effort tc
break into Heaven that they make to
break into society, there would be nc
need for Billy Sundays and others OF
his ilk.
As e. rule, however, the Ratchet
faced man doesn't cut much ice.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

Russia's future is not particularly
bright Some of her schooIbOys, rep
resentatives of the rising generation
who viii make up the bone and sinew
of the cars domain before many
years have rolled away. lured one of
their playfeuows to a secluded spot
and killed him. He had voiced "ad-
vanced' ideas that his companions be-
lieved to border on anarchism.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

Many of the football experts blame
the rules for the low score or no
score games that were played this sea-
son when the big teams clashed with
each other Casper Whitney thinks
the failure to score was due to poor
playing; and to the further fact that
coaches have consistently refused to
develop the open game which the rules
make possible to its fullest possibili-
ties. Mr.. Whitney seems to be on the
right track
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

And now comes A. c. Brice. who
was United States consul at Matan-
zas Cuba, fourteen years ago, with q
story that he was told the Maine was
going to be blown up twenty-four
hours before the terrible event hap
pered. Just think of a man keeping
such a secret for so long time. A
Carnegie medal is his portion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
ErrTr.r, LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PE4AI2sS

Something in the nature of an insur-
gent puzzle Just now is as to whether
or not Senator LaFollette will speak
in Kansas in the near future and where
The people centrally, though are not
lying awake nights awaiting its solu-
ton
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

Inasmuch as the public utilities
commission decided against the petit
TONERS in the procedure to compel the
Topeka Street Railway company to
augment it's winter service on the
Highland Park line. it would not be
at all surprising if some leather
Iunged individual began shouting that
the Kansas utilities commission is
..oMned,, bv the COMBINATIONS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
FROM OTHER PENS
THAT COMMERcE COrRT.

Our new judicial tribunal. known as
the Commerce Court, has not been In ex-
istence long enough 10 demonstrate the
wisdom of its creation or reason FOR Its
continuance. But in its short history IL
has furnished occasion for such criticism
as Is almost certain TO result In at least
an attempt IN congress to abolish f..
The action of the court in connection
with the Tong and short haui' principle
Of law emphasizes the opposition to the
continued existence Of the tribunal
1t was at least a score Of years after
agitation first began in regard to that
principle before a specific act Of congress
INTERPRETED II into form Of law. AT once.
congress on the recommendation Of Pres
ident Taft, authorized the creation or the
commerce court
Meantime, the interstate commerce COM
mission formulated a ruling giving eject
to the haul law. And about the first
important action of the court is the set
ting aside Of the commissions ruling
In the coming session of congress the
president and the judges OF the commerce
court and friends OF the tribunal may be
kept busy at least part OF the time trying
TO show why any such tribunal should
exist.-Chicago Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

Every young man should remember
that If his income is just a little above
expenses every day he will eventually be-
come well off. II his receipts daily lack
a little of meeting his expenditures he
will in time become candidate for pub
lie favors al the poor house. Honest
work at any calling, and such economy
as the case requires. is honorable: while
idleness and spendthrift habits are a dis
grace to anyone, young or old.-Beaver
Valley Booster.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
CHAPTERS XIV.

The presidential situation is rapidly
simplifying and clarifying. LaFollette
was scarcely mentioned at Washing
ton. 1t was positively humiliating.
Here are some things the cores
pondents said: lone of the notable
features was the fact that LaFollette
figures in it not at all. Walter L.
Hauser, chairman of the LaFollette
congressional committee said the
meeting was to boom the senator. but
none of the leaders had time TO listen
to I4aFollette talk Practically nothing
was heard of the boom of Senator La
Toilette. It is generally regarded as
dead"
OF LaFollette. there was no discus
sion. He was viewed by the leaders
of both factions, and even by his per-
sonal followers and press agents as a
Dead one" Two things stood out as
subjects for general comment. The first
was the candidacy of LaFollette- 1t
was treated with derision by practically
all the big men on the ground. They
look upon the Wisconsin senator as q
political lightning bug and nothing
more. He stands as much chance for
serious consideration as Governor
Stubs of Kansas. Those who don't
cordially hate the Wisconsin senator
regard him as a fanatic projected at
an inopportune time into the considera-
ton of the Republican party. 1t may
be regarded as settled that LaFollette
is not to be more than a noisy factor
in the next national convention The
few able men outside his own state
who are now with him are suspected
Of using his name so that they may re-
main consistently anti-Taft until
Roosevelt hurrah comes in the national
convention. The plan for legal pri-
mary for presidential purposes was
.ruthlessly slaughtered at Washington
bv the committee much to the disgust
of IaFollette men who wanted things
wide open.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13
A NAsTrR sTATEsMAN.

While going through the motions or
putting the new Chinese constitution IN
force and giving vitality 10 the expert
mental limited monarchy, Premier Yuan
Shi Kai it is safe TO say. has not the
slightest expectation that the frail ediilce
thus raised win be preserved. II Is a
monumental game Of BLUM that ne p
PLAYING, and II must be conceded that u
is dexterous and serviceable one. We're
it not for this man. standing between
the expiring government and the govern
rnent-to-be the danger OF the situation pa
Pekin would be increased a thousand
fold. He alone has sufficient influence 10
curb the opposing elements; to prevent
riot, pillage and slaughter. TO insure tne
safety of foreign residents and mean
while gradually to prepare the way ior
the withdrawal Of the emperor ana DIS
following to some place OF satety. Hl7
obvious purpose is to see that the chanse
of government is effected with the MINI
mum of disorder. and that the nAuonai
capital shall not be made the theater or
a final bloody struggle between Mancnu
and Chinaman, adding further dlscreuLt
to that already brought upon the Chlnese
people by the horrors Of the revolution.
Let Yuan Shi Kai accomplish TINS ano
he will deserve to be held inf eralelg
remembrance by his countryneh- te
that can make reason and humanity ~
vail in the face OF rebellion Is greateF
than the most formidable Of warriors
Pittsburg Union-Telegraph
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

The world is made up of a number
of various things-including people |;
chances are good that some of said
things will send roast turkey ana
fow ers to numbers 25,314 and 26,Sl5
on Christmas day.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

PnreIv Personal: Will some friend
who has. or knows of a file of that
alleged comic weekly "Puck" (said
file covering the months of September
and October), kindly drop this depart
ment q postage card?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

one correspondent says: After the
adjournment of the committee Tuesday
night, both Ward and Crane express
ed themselves as highly satisfied with
the results and it was openly talked
down stairs in the corridors that ex-
eeuent arrangements had been made to
nut Mr. Roosevelt in a position that
he win have to ring the bell for the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

AS overwhelmingly decided, the del
egates to the National convention
will now be chosen by the usual con-
ventions, except that delegates and al
ternates both from the state at large
and from each congressional district
may be elected in conformity with the
laws of the state in which the election
occurs, if the state committee or any
such congressional committee so de-
sires. but provided further, that in no
state shall an election be so held as TO
prevent the delegates from any con
gressional district and their alter
mates being selected by the Republi-
can electors of that district" What
can Governor Stubs do now to aid
CONGRESSMAN LaFolette?
1t was reported that the former
president could not encourage his
friends to work for his nomination
but concerning whether he would &C
cept if nominated, they replied; Ihal
is 4 bridge he will cross when he gets
to it." This means. they say, LaFot-
1ette does not figure.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

Every time Queen Victoria of SPAR
produces a new one, the Associated
Press considers it an Event. we holo
thai I'VE in five years constitutes {
habit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-12-13

Willie Allie White says the LaFol-
lette campaign in Kansas has not been
doped out because I'VE are trying to
get together" The railroad service
between Emporia and the governor
offce is SO good that a mere outsider
cannot help wondering what has kept
'we'' from getting together before this
time.