davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03
INSULTED THE KING.
Tho Joke 4 Printer Turned on Loui.
Philippe and NJ. THEIRS


Philippe and NJ. Theirs.
One morning during the reign OF
Louis Philippe there appeared in the
Constitutional the following startling
paragraph:
"His majesty the king received NJ
Theirs yesterday at the Tuileries and
charged him with the formation of q
new cabinet The distinguished states
man fastened to reply to the king:
"I have only one regret. which is
that cannot wiring your neck like q
turkeys
A few lines lower down there was
another paragraph running to the fol
lowing effect:
"The efforts OF Justice have been
promptly crowned with success The
murderer Of the Rue du POt-de- Fer has
been arrested In a house OF bad reputa-
ton Led at once before the judge Of
instruction. the wretch had the hardi
hood to address the magistrate in terms
Of coarse insult. winding up with the
following words. which amply show
that there remains not a spark of con
science or right feeling in this hard
encd soul;
God and man are my witnesses
that have never had any other am
billion than to serve your august per
sou and my country loyalty TO the best
Of my ability"
The printer had just cleyerly managed
to interchange the two addresses. The
cream Of the joke was that it was uni
yersally known how very little love
there was lost between the king and
the minister Strauss "Reminiscences
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03
HER HOMEMADE HAT.
t Brought Proposal That Sire
Promptly Turned Down.

Promptly Turned Down.
The bohemians were making merry
"a the dim lit studio discussing the lat.
est novel that one Of their number was
trying to write. the brutal editor who
bad refused the best article ever writ.
tcn-a masterpiece OF the host-he-
meaning the nonintelligence OF the art
critics. execrating the mercenary the
atrlcal manager and utterly repudlat.
lug the general public-the vast horde
Of the Philstines. BY way Of diversion
the painter Of pastel portraits said to
the bachelor maid;
That's n charming hat you have on.
Who else would know enough to com
bine turquoise and old rose7 You have
genius for color What pity you
only writer
"Glnd you like my hat. anyway.
made ii myself trust it will only
enhance its merit in your eyes to know
THAI it cost me but 80 cents"
''Impossibie"' screamed all the bohe-
mians with one breath. ceaslng their
arguments in order to take notice OF
the vastly becoming creation which
capped the bachelor maids brown hair.
Fifty cents, did you say?" asked the
man who once wrote a pocm a.c and
mud II published Then rising. plIJ ing
his hand above his heart. bowling low
and solennly he said: Fair one. will
you be my Uife5 All my life | have
bepn looking for n woman who could
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

On an island in the Cam, at Grant
chester, is a mill pond known as By
ron's pool because ii was here that
the poet as an Undergraduate enjoyed
his fayorite recreation. Even IN his
day Edward Conybeare tells Us in
Highways and Byways In Cam
bridge" bathing was practice some
what frowned on by the academic au-
thoritles. \ century or so earlier any
student found guilty Of It was publicly
logged IN the hall Of his college and
was again tlogged on the morrow in
the university schools by the proctors.
A second offense meant expulsion from
the university.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

In the matter Of dress We have fallen
upon a decline since the days when the
Duke of Wellington was refused nd
mission to Alniack's because he was
wearing trousers instead of breeches
and silk stockings Even Almack's,
however, had to admit trousers within
its closely guarded portals the following
year When Gladstone was "upt at
oxford the reign If the dandies was in
full swing. When late in life he re-
visited the university to lecture to the
undergraduates on Homer he was
asked by G. ". e Russell whether he
noticed any difference between his au
dience and the men If his own time
"Yes,'' he replied. ''in their dress an
enormous change. | am told that
had among my audience some Of the
most highly connected and richest men
in the university. and there wasn't one
whom couldn't have dressed from
top to toe for t5"-St. James Gazette.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03
UNEMPLOYED CANADA.
Vast Areas Where the Foot Of a White
Man Has Never Trod.


Man Has Never Trod.
There are vast areas in Canada Of
which even the government has no
icfnite knowledge. and there are thou
,ands Of square miles where the foot
jf a white man has never trod Prac-
,cally all knowledge Of this big wild
country has been secured again and
again along few chosen and well
worn routes. outside of which investi-
CATION has seldom gone.
Imagine a dozen or so well beaten
vehicle highways traversing a country
1ne-fourth rs large as Europe-narrow
highways hemmed in by lmpenetrable
wilderness-and one may form some
SORT Of idea OF the little that Is still
known Of 600,000 square miles OF the
North American continent
Along these routes nearly all "ex-
plorers" have gone Along them are
situated most of the fur posts, aud be
yond their narrow lines but little is
luown. And In this world of forest
lnd ridge mountains and eternal desc
lit.on. still buried in the mystery and
Hence Of endless centuries. are its
people"
approximately there are from 15.OOO
to 25000 human souls in an area fif-
teen times the size Of Ohio. md there
are no more than 800 OF these who
have. not some Indian blood in their
veins. On the other hand. fully one
half Of the total poplha++on. has its
strain OF white blood.-Leslies Weekly.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

He was a mild hammered little man.
short. with gray hair and spectacles
1t was noon on Washington street.
and, as usual. the crowds We're shov.
Ing and pushing to get somewhere
The little man was trying to worm his
way through the crowds.
A well dressed woman. accompanied
by a small boy. was mixed up in the
crowd. She wanted to cross the street
The boy stopped to look in window
The lady reached down and grasped
a hand. saying Take my hand, dear"
mot right here on the public street."
she was startled to hear some one re-
ply
Looking down. she saw that she was
clasping the hand Of the very inoffen-
sive little man, who seemed to be
much confused and embarrassed.
Sir" she said haughtiIy, 81 don't
want you. want my son."-Boston
Traveller.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

The hate Senator John Warwick
Daniel OF Virginia may be said 20
have been the last of the Old fash
iOned orators in the house OF the CON
script fathers His fame will rest not
on his lawtooks, which were excel
lent; not on his speeches In house and
senate, which were strong, but on two
mastery orations on Lee and Stone
wall Jackson delivered before his On
trance into congress 1t may well be
doubted whether anything superb r to
them. considered simply as orations.
can be found in the literature of the
world. They would have delighted
Cicero hlmself.-Chsmp Clark in Cen
tury.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

In its early history geology present.
ed two schools-one insisting on doc
trine OF "catastrOphes, the other on
a doctrine Of uniformity" The for
mer regarded the changes which have
manifestly taken place in our planet
as having occurred at epochs abruptly,
while the other school, rcposlng on
the great principle of the iuyariability
of the laws Of nature insisted that af-
fairs had always gone on in the same
way as they do now II is hardly
necessary to say tina the latter theory
has driven the Old theory of eatastro-
phe completely from the ted--New
York American.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03
The Monkey and the Book.

A story is told of an eminent nat
uralist Il forget his name) who was
hoping to dev 4lop the intelligence of a
monkey to whose elutation he was
devoting himself. One day he saw
with delight that the monkey was sit
ting at the other end Of the room turn
ing over the leaves Of valuable book
on entomology and looking at the
plates with apparent interest. But on
going nearer he saw, with dismay that
the monkey was turning over the
plates in order that when he came to
a particularly large beetle or butterfly
he might pick 1t out and eat it. AS
the paper could not have had a nice
taste. l think he may have been actu-
ated rather By the fun Of the thing
than by mere depraved appetite.
Perh ie was verifying the like
me s4O learning among the philoso-
iir. of Laputa.-London Spectator
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

Speaking Of railroads" said the
truthful man. THE ultimate word. in
my experience. was certain limited
on which travelled last summer AT
a point whore we were masking our
greatest speed man stood at the side
of the track with a moving picture
machine. | leaned out Of the window
and called to him, How are you get
ting onY
He stopped turning the crank and
spoke with an expression of deep dis
gust.
1T don't seem to be no use he
said. Hold your head still. please. l
want to get time exposure ''-Ev-
erybody's.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03
FIGHTING LIES BATTLE.
OF Things That Must Be Done Tackle
the Hardest First.

49,
he '7srasst r'rst'
Know very successful man VINO
early IN llfe resolved that no matter
now nara anything might be or now
seemingly impossible Tor nm 10 DO ne
would DO II II the dong would prove
OF vaiue 10 nm says orison SWEET
Mardeh IN success Magazine lie
maze this the test and would never
allow MS moods or teellngs to stand
IN the way OF MS Judgment. lie
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

Sir Herbert Risley, speaking Of the
castles Of eastern Bengal at meeting
of the Royal Anthropological institute,
said curious system of religious wor-
ship prevailed among a caste who were
professional burglars. They made a
space in the ground. and man then
cut his arm and prayed to one Of the
earth gods that there might be dark
night and that he might succeed in OBJ
tanning great booty and escape cap
ture.-London Standard.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03
BREAKING A CUSTOM.
How the Salt Shaker Was Introduced
to the spsnisrd.

to the spsnisrd.
Until a few years ago no spanlard
had on his dining table any other re
ceptacle for salt than the old style
open cellar. An enterprising Briton
saw this. noted that the salt WIS al
ways dirty and gummy and deter
mined TO introduce a certain famous
salt shaker from which clean salt
would run freely in the dampesi
weather. Bravely he started to tour
Spain for the company.
NO. senior; no est costumbre usar
mas quo este" C'No, sir; it's not Gus
tomary to use more than thaf-the
old cellar. was the answer Of every
dealer to whom he, presented the nov
city Again and again he was re
buffed. He began to despair when,
standing one day gazing into a jew.
eler's window. brilliant idea struck
him. He entered. Realizing the child
like curiosity and inpressionable char
acter Of his quarry. be persuaded the
jeweler to display shaker In his
NAluth Auu Nbdtueh iliu ABOUT sell
ing It A Spaniard csme along, look
ed In the window, saw the curious OBJ
ject, investigated
ut is very pretty for the toilet Ia
ble." he remarked after prolonged
scrutiny. perhaps useful for the chill.
dren. What goes IN it-perfumeT
Indifferently the jeweler glanced up
from some scribbllng. mo, sir; only
salt"
'Man. saltr'
ayes. Possibly could get you a lit
tle-the kind that doesn't get sticky
to try But don't know"
The simple gentleman was amazed.
angry. affronted, by the novelty. but
he took It and an ounce or two Of the
special salt home with him. The jew
eler ordered another shaker and more
samples Of salt. BY and by the gen
tleman had used all his salt and want.
ed more Of the same kind. The bust
ness Of that company today is worth
many figures IN Spain every year and
more than that. as It Is "costumbre"
now to use that particular sort Of
shaker and brand Of salt there is vir-
tually no competitlon.-Arthur Stanley
Riggs in Century.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03
RAILWAYS IN SPAIN.
Their Methods Are Not Those of the
Strenuous Life.

Their Methods Are Not Those of the
Strenuous Life.
A Spanish railway seems an excel
lent place for a rest cure 81 remem-
Der" writes Mr.. s. L. Bensusan. when
going on short journey in Andalusia.
the train that carried ME stopped at a
short junction. While we were at
rest here. after some hours OF travel at
the rate Of at least twelve miles an
hour. the driver uncoupled his engine
and proceeded down the line with It In
the direction We were not to take
The passengers walked contentedly
up and down. smoked countless ciga-
rettes, ate oranges. resisted the impor-
tunlties OF beggars. At last became
uneasy and asked where the driver
had gone. Pedro has run down the
line on bis engine TO take a birthday
glft to his mother. who lives over
there explained the station master:
he is indeed good son md will not
trust his parcel to the post Spain Is
full OF thieves Aud when the good
son had como back from his mission
he restored the engine to its proper
position and we re-entered the train.
which went on its journey after three
quarters of m hours delay."-London
Graphic
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03
No whisksrs on His Sea Food.

Two colored porters paused to rest
a moment on their mops in a down.
town office building recently. Boy"
said one. smacking his lips, did you
ever eat mushrat?" 'Mushrat?' re-
turned the other mo; | never eat
any mushrat The only fancy sea food
ever fused with was lobster
New York World
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

That sunrise effect is all wrong!-
said the stage manager Of New York
musical show.
"Whats the dlfferencef" replied the
scene painter. Nobody who goes to
a musical comedy in New York know
what sunrise looks like."-washln.
ton Star
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03
YORK RIVER LINE.n

H
For West Point aud Richmond. Va.
Steamer leaves Baltimore on Tuesday,
Thursday aud Saturday at 5 p. N.
and arrives West Point at AZ A. M,
and Richmond at g.30 AN.
Steamers call at Gloueeiter Point,
Yorkto5R7, Clements, Clsy Bank aud
Almonds, weathe and ice conditions
permitting.
Steamers leave Baltimore from pisrs
is and 10 Light Street Wharf.
through tieke,s to all points may Os
secured, baggage checked and stat
rooms reserved from the City Tick
Offices, llg u Baltimore ST., ARTHUR
W ROBSON, Agent, 1877 Z. Baltimore
St.,
Offices, Light & Lee Sta, Bsltimors, Nd.
E.J. CHISM, Genl. Passengsr A G sns
CHAPMAN. ASS. re l. Pass. ARt.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

Tie little French town of Auxonne is
not associated IN the popular mind
with Napoleon; hut. as Miss Betham-
Edwards reminds us in "Uufrequented
France" he spent some years Of his
cadetship there. '1n the Saone be
twice narrowly escaped drowning. and
here, too, as narrowly, so the story
runs. marriage with a b1urgeoise maid
en- called Manesca Two ivory counters
bearing fhis romantic name in Napo-
Icons handwriting enrich the little mu-
seulu
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

81 think I'll propose at the party to-
night"
"No, you won't"
'Why won't ~
"Nly sister knows the young lady in
question. and it has been arranged for
you to propose at the ball next week"
Kansas City Journal.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

Mother lat lunch)-Yes, darling,
these little sardines are sometimes
eaten by the larger fish Mabel taged
five)-But. mamma, how do they get
the cans openY- London Ideas.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

Miss Lo, eleigh The professor was
telling us today about the moon He
says the moon Is dead body Jack
spooner-That 50? Then suppose W.
SIT up awhile with the corpse Boston
Transcript
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

Truth is as cleur as a bell" quoted
the wise guy.
"Yes. but It isn't always tolled." add
ed the simple mug.-Philadelphla Rec
ord
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

Your labor only may be sold; yous
soul must not.-Ruskln.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

Mo;her~I fist got letter from
Ephraim savin' rs now ke's took lip
fene,n' In coaese Father Rail. stone
or barb?- Cornell Widow
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

81 hear there are grave charges
against seuator links"
what are theyY'
1.-THE sexton's bills"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

The fewer desires the more peace
Wilson.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

Mamma says that If you could
make up your mind to go into papa's
business, Arthur. be would very likely
consent to our engagement"
But, my darling girl I'm poet"
That doesn't matter You could
write advertisement rhymes for our
stuff."-Fl Fliegende Blatter.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03

''Tea or coffee" demanded the bus
tling waitress.
He smiled benignly. Don't tell me;
let me guess" he whispered.-B Brock
lyn Life.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1911-02-03
His Talent.

His Talent.
as be a great artistT'
"No-
But he gets good prices for his
stuff"
Yes He's a great salesman. ."-Ex-
change
Evening journal., 1911-08-11

TIz acts at once and makes tired,
aching, swollen feet remarkably fresh
and sore proof.
It's the sure remedy, you know, for
everything that gets the matter with
your feet It's for sore feet and for
sweaty, bad-smelling feet, and for
corns, .callouses and bunions, too.
For years / had been troubled with
sore and tender feet; suffered intense
pains. Have had the assistance of
physicians without relief. / bought n
box of TIZ, which worked a perfect
cure, as IL has with a great many Of
my friends. / would not be without
Il. All II requires Is to be known to
be universally used."-A. +. Dreutzer,
Chicago.
TIZ is not a powder. Powders and
other foot remedies clog up the pores.
TIZ draws out all poisonous exuda-
tions which bring on soreness Of the
feet, and is the only remedy that does
TIz cleans out every pore and glori-
fies the feet-your feet.
You'll never limp again or draw
up your face in pain. and you'll forget
about your corns. bunions and cal
louses. You'll feel like a new person.
TIZ is for sale at all druggists, 25
cents per box. or it will be sent you
direct, if you wish. from Walter
Luther Dodge & Co, Chicago, III.
Evening journal., 1911-08-11
.225 BLIND
In THE STATE
Of These lis are in Whining
ton, as Shown by New
Census
COMMISSION IS
DOING GOOD WORK

According to a census just taken,
there are 225 blind persons in Della
ware, and about lis of these are in
Wilmington. The United States Cen
sus reports only show about 100 in the
entire State.
The Delaware Commission for the
Blind which was established by an
act of the Legislature in 1909 is max
ing great strides in helping and edu
eating the blind of the state. It isl
handicapped by lack of money, how
ever.
The commission under the super
vision of Superintendent John d. W.
Bodfish has taken the entire store and
dwelling at No. 3O5 West Eighth
street. and It will soon be one of the
busiest places of its size in the city.
There has just been put in new IL
foot loom for weaving rag carpets.
Rugs or carpets can be woven from 1
to 12 feet in width. The loom Is not
vet in use as it has just been installed
and is of the spool rack type and cost
$151 delivered at the headquarters of
the commission.
The store in which the fancy work
made by the blind is sold is full of
pretty baskets, shawls, broOms and
other articles. The brooms were made
at the Maryland workshop for the
blind. Benjamin Bostic, OF Wilmington
is now in the institution learning 20
make brooms. AS soon as he becomes
proficient he will return to Whining
I fbo oo,,a M cciora will f,trf in
broom making machinery for him 10
operate.
Superintendent Bodfish has intro
ducsd rush work in chair seating.
Edward Beehan, blind young man
of this city is selling the "Wunder-
mop" a blind mans invention, the
price of which is from rs to 80 cents.
Chenille and rowing rugs made by
blind operators are also offered for
sale in the store.
! In its present building the commits
sion has a library of raised lettered
books Of about 1000 volumes. These ara
greatly enjoyed by the blind readers:
\ The library also contains a piano
which is played by Edward Mauldin,
the celebrated blind player and piano
tuner.
James Wyatt, a young man of Mil
ton, who lost both eyes as the result of
a cunning accident four years ago, IS
an expert rug and carpet weaver He
operates a loom Of the old four-poster
type which was built in 1906. 1t does
excellent work.
Dennis Bradley, who when boy had
his eyes blown out by an exploding
dynamite cap at Delaware avenue and
dupont street in 1888, is said to be one
of the most expert chair Gamers. He
, is a graduate Of Overlook, Pa
~ Thomas McCann, an aged coloreC
, man, makes good baskets. He has beer
l blind for three years.
The next meeting of the commission
! will be held on September 90
Evening journal., 1911-08-11
MEMS FURNISHINGS.

Odd lot Of Negligee Shirts, some
with soft collars to match. mostly
large sizes. regular csc and 75c.
sale price ...............-.. .Stc
Mems Negligee Coat Shirts, In
plated and plain bosoms. soft
cuffs; some with collars to match;
regular $3.50 quality, sale price 81
Mems Balbriggan Underwear, in
long and short sleeve. ankle length
drawers: regular soc. sale price
s5c; 3 for s1.00.
Mems split foot half Hose, regu-
lar 10 1-2c quality, sale price Zoe;
3 for 25c.
Mems Bathing Suits, in cotton,
blue web white and red trimmings.
regular s10O quality. sale price 75c
Mems Bathing Suits in cotton.
plain blue. regular rs quality, sale
price .-........-.... QUO
Mems Bathing Suits In grey,
regular S1.00 quality. sale price 7Sc
Mems Negligee Coat Shirts, In
light neat patterns. regular S1.Ol
and $3.50 quality, sale price Coo;
for Sl.25.
Evening journal., 1911-08-11
orOoodlrss end Ai1yutors.

The true cr0codiies are distinct from
the alligators. Among the points OF
distinction the following are the most
noticeables In the croeodnes the so
called canine tooth. the fourth count
Ing from the 'front.' fits into a notch In
the side OF the upper jaw and is there
fore visible when the mouth Is closed,
while in the alligator It is received in
a pit IN the upper jaw and is therefore
invisible or nearly 30. Again. In the
crocodile the hind legs have a fringe
Of fattened scales which is wanting In
the aIiigators. whose legs are round
London Saturday Review.
Evening journal., 1911-08-11
LDPPuNe@T1rs9
DRESS GOODS AND SILK DE-
PARTMENT.

The Pink Trading Stamp Book
problem solved.
Special inducement to those
wishing to have their stamp book
redeemed on Saturday.
yards Of our regular $l.00
Dress Goods in many styles.
yards of our 54-in. Mohair. in
either navy, grey or black; usually
sold CSC.
yards of many Of our SOC and
59c silk G. Cotton Goods,27 in. wide.
6 yards OF our All-Wool Neptune
Serge, In navy or black; usually
sold at SEC per yard.
8 yards of beautiful Printed
Wool Challis; usually sold sec.
8 yards 24-in. China Silk,
in black, pink, maize or light blue;
usually SOC per yard.
Full Dress Patterns Of many
styles, in Foulard that have sold
up TO 59c per yard.
2 Dress Patterns OF Novelty Cot.
ton Goods, that have sold up to 25C
per yard All these special bar.
gain values for / book of stamps.