Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-01-28
ADVICETO
JOHN

ish robustness Is to act the way you
do when you feel like criticising your
wife ae a housekeeper. II you really
desire better conditions and happy
home, instead Of tears and divorce
proceedings, there is better way.
1t has been your custom, you know,
when you saw dust on the center Ia
BILE, TO quietly and not unostentatious-
". stick your forehnger into 1t, then
took at the finger with an air of pa
tent martyrdom, wipe It carefully on
your handkerchief and then use the
handkerchief as a dust rag. When
you have accidentally discovered that
sweepings have been left under the
davenport, you have without comment,
and almost secretively, gotten the
dust pan and broom and swept up the
litter, giving Mrs. John only the
barest hint Of what you have been do
Ing By asking her what to do with the
painful Of trash. When you have come
home to a slipshod and unappetizing
dinner. with accompaniment Of spot
ted napery, you have merely been
modify disagreeable, really uncon-
scious OF the look Of holy resignation
you are wearing. And all the while.
when your wife has been sneaking
away to snin and sob out her indig-
nation and aggrievement, you have
battered yourself with the unctuous
thought that less patient men would
have said whitening things or wrangled
under such circumstances.
1t would be much better, John, for
you to throw china and smash furni-
ture. But this Is the best plan OF all:
II one Of these annoyanoes turns UP
tomorrow, overlook II as entirely as II
your wife were your employers wife,
and you were dining with said employ
er to talk over an increase in your
salary. Put on your society manner.
Not only try to be gallant but try to
be fascinating. 1t will be hard for
you, John, but try. Be as compliment
tary as you can without showing you
have something up your sleeve. You
must be that way at least one whole
day before attempting to apply the
remedy. - ---'-- -~ss.,s,4J,- .-..Lya.. %, 49,,
II the other annoyances come up
next day, continue to play your part.
You must not even whisper to your
inner consciousness the sarcastic ex-
cuse that modern housewives are often
compelled to neglect household duties
OF shopping, paying calls, shopping. at
tending bridge parties, shopping, going
to matinees or shopping. At lunch,
particularly, be paragon OF gallantry
and thoughtful courtesy, and take re-
luctant and affectionate leave Of your
wife before going back to the Of
tice. -
AS soon as you get back to the Of
nee send her this note by messenger:
Dear Trtx: The home atmosphere
so took possession Of me at lunch that
forgot all about the ofice, and. in
cidentally, about Pumpkins. You
know. the Tumpkinses, poor things,
hsyent az perfect home life like ours
they board Poor old lump was
complaining about their miserable
coalition today. and I felt 20 sorry
for EN- wanted to give EN- a real
treat IN honey home like ours. with
one OF those jolly little dinners you
are 30 good at getting up, so I invited
en- out for this evening. Sorry Il
forgot TO tell you before, dearest, but
| know my little owney own will flx
things Just right. Your loving-Jack.
You will go home early that night.
and when you open your door you will
think you have gotten into the wrong
house It viii be the brightest. cozi.
est, most orderly house you ever saw.
You will find your wife In the kitchen.
oh, dearie," you must exclaim.
everything is beautiful, exquisite.
perfect! BIT you shouldn't have
gone to SO nuch trouble for rust the
Tumps"
Why. john" she will say; don't
you know Mrs. r is the spIteful-
est, most critical old cat in the
world?"
Continue to be explanatory enthusi- |
astc until the Tumpses arrive. By
that time Mrs. John will be flushed
with pleasure and look unusually
pretty.
For week after this event you can
keep telling her how proud you were
and the fisttering things Jumps said
up at the office. And you must be
approximately complimentary of her
efforts to follow up this success. Then.
by the time the Tumpkinses or other
friends have dined with you five
times. you will be able TO tell Mrs.
John, In all sincerity. how happy It
makes you to know you can invite a
friend home at any time. without any
warning, knowing he will find a well.
ordered house and good. though sim.
pie dinner.
A pat on the back beats a slap on
Tie wrist from here to Texas. John.