davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25
HUAOR or THE DAY

Pittsburg Millionaire-So there's a hitch
IN the marriage arrangement. is there ?
His Grace's Solicitor-Yes. sir. informed
the duke that you wouldn't let your
daughter enter the ring at over 81. 900. .O00
and he tnstructs me to say to you that he
married his last two wives at sa,ooo,Ooo
Your daughter must make the weight or
the marriage Is on-"-Puck.
Rifleman-Do you know that am quite
a firm believer IN the old saving that We
have lived before in some other state
Highlander (who has just paid for the
twelfth drinkl-Thats very likely. Rifle
IN my last existence. Highlander-Wel
mate, II there's anything IN heredity, I
should say a sponge!-Tit-Bits.
Master-Jackson. fetch my umbrella
case. Valet-Here It Is, sir. Master
(angrily)-Fooll That's my wife's new
tailored suit!-Judge-
1.-THE more / see Of men the more I like
dogs" reclared the pessimistic boarder.
Have some sausage, Mr.. Wombat." suK-
gested the iandlady--Pittsburs Post
Il suppose you have heard Of the dan
ger in ldssing2" he remarked. tentatively.
''I have replied she. "but come OF
family noted for its courage. "-Tit-Bits.
Reporter-Was Jones calm and collected
zen-Wen, he was calm, all right; but
they never did get him quite collected
Pathfinder.
''I can't make my living by my pen" L
make good living by my pen" do you,
too, write poems2" mo; raise pigs
Baltimore American.
prices in this country are dispropor-
tionate." said the man who has all kinds
of trouble what is your especial griev-
ance7' You can send a letter for a 2
cent stamp, and IT may cost S15. 900 OF S2o.-
900 to get II back. k."-Washington Star.
''Where was he struck by the automo-
bile?' asked the coroner AT the juno
ton Of the dorsal and cervical vertebrao.'
answered the surgeon. ''Wiil you please
point that out on the map7" asked the
coroner, indicating one that hung on the
David has accompanied his mother to
church, and he noticed she dropped a
penny into the contribution plate. On the
way home his mother found fault with
the sermon. "Well, mamma" said tho
little fellow. what could you expect for
a cent2"-Chicago News.
Ignorance Is Btss.-"The humane So
ciety must be very active in Kansas
Miss Prim. Il read where a
man in a small town was fined $50 for
running a blind pig."-Judge.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25
8Egll
ESSS4& ES35S

Woman at BucheI, Ky, laughed her
self to death over a funny story told
by her husband; no Topeka husbands
want the story for immediate use. but
q number Of them would like to carry
it in stock.
The man who has no faults. isn't
worth looking over for strong points.
Don't search the above paragraph
1or some joke on the reciprocity situa-
ton It's a mere observation. and
poor one at that, and Furthermore,
the writer doesn't care a whoop about
reciprocity.
Flour has gone up; failure OF reel
procity." the latest goat. But Il might
as well be that as something else Flour
manufacturers, like all other manu-
facturers, are figuring on furs and 9TH
er winter necessities.
The name Of the Washburn football
coach is Driver. Wheezesmiths will
kindly refrain until. after the Thanks
giving game.
The gent who removed Hon. Stoly-
pin will be hanged shortly; in fact. he
was sentenced before his victim was
decently planted. No use talking. those
vodka drinkers may be long and con-
Iusing as to names but the brevity OF
their retributive system makes up FOR
ii.
The days and nights are OF about
equal length now, according to tho al
manac, but the nights continue to seem
longer to the night watchman and the
days longer to the boob who always
gets home before dark.
In Spain, the increased cost OF ilv-
ing is considered an excuse for blood:
in this country. we simply beef about
it-and the beef isn't fresh enough to
exure blood.
We are against the woman aviator:
as an old police reporter and dead
wagon chaser. we hold that a badly
mashed woman looks worse than a man
In the same condition.
-HGP
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25
PRISON SCHOOLS.


The night school at the state peni-
tentiary is no longer an experiment.
Chaplain T. w Houston in enlarging g
its scope by putting additional studies
in the curriculum is proceeding upon
sure ground. There have been and are
some members of the prison popula-
tion who are woefully lacking in even
a common school education. OF these
a portion are able neither to read nor
write. To this class particularly even
a very little instruction is a valuable
thing, and in the state penitentiary
school they are receiving it in generous
degree.
A convict has in prison the time to
reflect over a great many things. and
it is there, if the thought has not come
to him before, that he realizes how
great a necessity is even a little learn
ing. The most of these men are be-
yond the age where they learn as read
this deficiency there is an earnest de-
sire to make the most possible of the
school advantages afforded, and their
progress consequently is surprising.
The value as a force in education of
well managed penal institutions does
not receive the attention it deserves.
Apart from the service which is being
rendered by the prison school, not a
few prisoners at Lansing are learning
practical trades that will make them,
when they are released, capable for
the first time in their lives of earning
a good living.
Warden McClaughry can tell you the
names of scores of prisoners who have
gone out from the federal penitentiary
equipped with trades of which they did
not know even the rudimentS when
brought to the prison gates. and have
quired modest fortunes.-Leavenw
Times
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

Detroit has just experienced a strike
of street railroad employees without
cents worth of damage having been
done to the property of the company
or an untoward act of any kind com
1nitted by a striker. This is not the
usual story of street car strikers.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

"A terrific storm" swept the vesuvian
district recently. Twenty persons were
killed and much property was dam
aged. Why wasn't this storm called a
hurricane, a typhoon, a tornado or a
cyclone? That's what would have been
applieu to anything like it, or Of much
less force. that might have visited any
section of Kansas.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

With all due respect to the abilities
of several gentlemen who are prospec-
tive candidates for the vacant seat in
the house of representatives that be-
longs to the Seventh Kansas congress
sional district, the voters in the local
ity are going to have difficult job to
select a man who viii come near fill
ing the shoes of the late Ed Madison.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press.I

LF'rom the New York Press.J
It's a short sermon that makes no
snoozing.
A man gets back from a family pic
mic with more horrors to tell than *
he were home from the wars.
Maybe the reason a woman spends all
her pocket money the minute she gets
It is she hasn't any pockets.
The way to win a woman's undyinr
affection is to remark to her upon her
new gown when it's made over.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

With 2 rapidity that even puts "Jer-
sey justice" to shame the slayer of
the late Premier Stolypin has been SEN
fenced to hang There is no such ac-
tivity in Russia, though, in righting
any of the wrongs that the people in
high estate there inflict on the peasant
nOpu1atfon
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

Apparently the Santa Fe is not to be
permitted to get away with all the
honors in showing a railway coach of
antique vintage in its famous demon
stration train. Partisans of the Mis-
souri, Pacific insist that that road uses
just as old coach every day on its
regular train from Dexter to Arkansas
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

Robert LaFolIette is to tell his own
life's story in a serial IN one of the
popular magazines. Most great mems S
Iife's stories are told by biographers.
Stin there is no doubt that if a man
wants a job well done he must do it
himself. Undoubtedly an estimate of
Mr. LaFollette by biographers would not
gibe advantag ageously with his estimate
OF himself.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

President Taft's insistence that reci-
procity with Canada would have a ten
dency to keep down the cost of living ap-
pears to have been we'll founded.
Scarcely had the news of reciprocity $
defeat been telegraphed from Canada,
than there was a jump in the price of
foi1r
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

A substitute for lumber has been
made out of paper that is said to be
better in many particulars than the
natural product However, it is likely
that most people will be prejudiced
against it because they won't be able
to run slivers in their fingers while
handling if
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

Mrs. Kimmel says that white" is
not her son. And most people should
be willing to take Mrs. Kimmels word
in the premises. 1t is almost unbe-
lievable that mother would deny her
son for any kind of monetary con-
siderat atiOu
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

Rabid insurgents and their organs
take a fling every once in a while at
the corporation lawyers in the presi-
dents cabinet. They insist that these
Corporation lawyers are a tremend-
Gus handicap to the Taft administra-
ton. one Of these Corporation law
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

With coffee and sugar putting on
something real in the way of a con-
test for altitude in prices, more peo-
pie win probably have to take their
milk straight, or revert TO the original
LIQUID diet-water.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF TaE ASSOCIATED PRMSS

1t is incumbent on every Topekan to
do whatever he can to make the visit
of the veterans Of Kansas to their cap
ital city most enjoyable and memoir
able occasion
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

Pat Grove. the erstwhfle kidnaper
and quondam evangelist, has recently
been whipped for flirting. There's an
old saw to the effect that it is impossi-
bic to make a silk purse out of a sow's
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25
FROM OTHER PENS
A PARCEL POST m SIGHT.

Postmaster General Hitchcock an
nounces that in his annual report,
which will be submitted next Decem-
Der. he will recommend the establish
ment of a parcel post service on rural
mail routes. The system will be tried
first in the rural districts and if it is
successful it will be extended to urban
communities.
There is no doubt that Congress will
promptly agree to the establishment of
the system. The demand for a parcel
post service has been inSistant for
many years, but the influence of the
express companies has been sufficient
to prevent the enactment of the neces-
sary legislation. With the postoffice
department committed to the PROPOSE
tion the outlook for the establishment
of the service is bright.
If Postmaster General Hitchcock can
secure penny postage and a parcel post
service during his administration,
which has already been made distinc-
tive by reason of the abolition of the
deficit, he will have achieved an envi-
able record.-Washingt Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

The VINDICATION OF WILEY
lt Is not in the nature of surprise,
put It is matter for congratulation
none the less, that President Taft
should have SO fully and completely
Vlnd1cated DR.. Wiley. While the great
majority of manufacturers and pack
ers CT food are anxious to obey the
law, and do obey it, there are some
without doubt who are trying hard
10 escape compliance with it and to
break it down They are shrewd
enough to realize that right now at
rhe beginning of the laws enforce
ment their most effective attack can
be made. If they can effect even so
small a breach in the law now, 1t will
be but little while until they can
drive a coach and four through 1t.
The man in the way has been Har-
vey w. Wiley He has been studying
foods and food authorizations for
thirty years. He knows what sub
stances are harmful to health, and he
knows what ingredients are essential
In foods properly prepared. When GER
tain manufacturers cried out that cat
sup could not be made and placed upon
the market without some sort of pre-
seryative. DR.. Wiley went into their
factories and showed them that it
could be. When the packers of dried
fruits on the west coast declared that
their product would not keep long
enough to reach the consumer unless
smoked with sulphur, DIR. Wiley went
out and showed them that it would
If handled properly. He never issued
an order placing the ban upon any
process or preservative until he was
ready to show that the business could
be carried on by a different process
and without the preservative. The
only reason therefore, why certain in
terests have been hostile to his is sim
ply the reason of greed. They can
make more money by processes which
violate the law than they can if COM
PEELED to observe the law.
President Taft's decision means that |
they will have to observe the law |
lola Register.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

Beattie's nerve is of such a quality
that the news agencies consider it
worth while to describe in detail. They
make the mistake, however, of assum-
ing that it is natural.
No one who has seen much of GRIM
inal life. both that of the professionals
and the dabblers. thinks much of the
copybook ideas of the behavior of the
wicked when brought to account. More
often than not, the sentences are re-
ceived with calmness. the punishments
entered upon stoically The thief
passes into the portal of the peniten-
tiary with little sign of broken cour-
age. The cond demned murderer eats
hearty breakfast before stepping out
upon the platform he is to leave as
dead man. In me1odrama. of course,
1t is all different. The evildoer breaks
down. He walls and bites his nails.
There is no credit due to Beattie for
his socalled bravery. He has no ad-
vantage over thousands of men, with
out breeding, education or a family
reputation for gameness to maintain,
who have preceded hin.-Toledo
Blade
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

The man who has no faults. isn't
worth looking ever for strong points.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

The name OF the Washburn football
coach Is Driver. Wheezesmiths will
kindly refrain until after the Thanks
giving game.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

Reporter-Was Jones calm and collected
when the boiler explosion occurred7 2 Cftf-
zen-Well, he was calm, all right: but
they never did get him quite collected
Pathfinder.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

Il suppose you have heard Of the dan
ger in ltissing7' he remarked. tentatively
IT have" replied she. "but come OF a
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

1T can't make my living by my pen" L
make good living by my pen" do you
too, write poems7" mo; I raise pigs
Baltimore American
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

1.-THE more see Of men the more I like
dogs" reclared the pessirnistic boarder.
Have some sausage. Mr.. Wombat," suw-
gested the andlady.-Pittsburg Post
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

Master-Jackson. fetch my umbrella
case Valet-Here Il Is, sir. Master
(angrily)-Fooli That's my wife's new
tailored suit!-Judge-
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

prices in this country are dfspropor-
tionate." said the man who has all kinds
of trouble What is your especial griev-
anceg' You can send a letter for a 2
cent stamp, and IT may cost SIS. 900 OF So
900 to get II back ck"-Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

In Spain, the increased cost OF iiv-
ing Is considered an excuse for blood:
IN this country. we simply beef about
exure blood.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-25

where was he struck by the automo-
bile?' asked the coroner. AT the juno
ton of the dorsal and cervical vertebrao,'' %
answered the surgeon. ''Wiil you please
point that out on the map7' asked the
coroner, indicating one that hung on the
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1911-05-09
Bloody Battle Between
Troops in Lower California
(By Associated PresS.)

San Diego, May 9.-Tia Juana, in
lower California, was captured by
Mexican insurrectos this morning. A
detachment of twenty-eight federal
soldiers who left Tia Juana at mid
night were annihilated by the rebels
and another detachment of fourteen
are believed to have met the same
fate. Early this morning the rebels
completely surrounded Tia Juana and
drove the federals into the bull ring,
where a fierce fight occurred. Hun
dred of Americans are lined UP on
the border watching the fight.
Many were killed and wounded on
both sides in the Tia Juana battle.
The buildings in the town were fired
by the rebels. Bodies of the dead are
visible through field glasses in the
streets and near the Catholic church,
which was burned. A small party of
federals are still holding the customs
house.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1911-05-09
GOVERNORS AND MAYORS
HAVE BEEN INVITED.

The governors of all the states and
mayors of all the principal cities OF
the country have been invited to send
representatives to the meeting Of the
National Conference of Charities and
Correction : in Boston, June TIA, for
the purpose of discussing standards OF
administration in public, charitable
and correctional institutions and the
scientific treatment of the wards OF
the states and cities. These discus
sions in the National Conference dur
ing the past thirty-eight years have
resulted in placing American charita
BILE and penal institutions ahead o.
almost any others in the world, &C
cording to the statement of Rev. Fran
els Gavisk, d. D., Of Indianapolis
the chairman of the section OF thu
Conference on State Supervision ant
Administration.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1911-05-09
Ruth Oaks Sentenced to
Farm; Released BY Mistake

Ruth Oaks, a well-known character
of this city of the demi monde class,
was arrested Monday afternoon by
Deputy Sheriff D. G. McGilveray, on
an order from Judge Johnson.
The woman is charged with va
grancy, keeping a house of Ill fame
and selling whiskey. She was ar
raigned at the last session of the Cir
cult Court and pleaded guilty. A
sentence of ninety days on the county
farm was imposed upon her, but Judge
Johnson suspended the sentence with
the proviso that she would change her
way of living or leave the city. This
the woman promised to do.
Judge Johnson, being satisfied that
the promises had not been kept, or
dered that she be re-arrested and sent
to the county farm without bond.
The order of the Judge was misun-
derstood, however, by Circuit Clerk
T. j. Nixon and she was allowed bond
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1911-05-09
five CHILDREN ARE
BURNED TO Death
(Bp Associated PreSs.)

Charlottesville, Va, May 9.-Five of
the six children of Sanford Davis, of
Albermanle county, were burned to
death yesterday.
The fire destroyed the residence of
Davis and his wife and one infant es-
capped. The blaze was discovered
when the children were asleep in a
room on the second floor and had
reached the narrow stairs.
The frantic father made an attempt
to save the children but was nearly
overcome by heat at the top of the
stairway. In response to calls, q
daughter. aged 15, cried: Papa,
can't get out, I'm nearly strangled te
death"
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1911-05-09
Leuy Cases Compromised;
Judge Suspended Sentence

l. Levy, the New Orleans whiskey
dealer against whom there are FIVE
grand jury indictments and one ap-
peal case pending in the circuit court,
appeared in court this morning and
plead guilty to two charges.
Levy told the judge that he expect
ed to quit the whiskey business and
asked for the mercy of the court.
Levy impressed Judge Johnson as be-
ing sincere in his statements, and the
Judge fined him $500 and cost and
sentenced him to ninety days on the
county farm.
Later Judge Johnson suspended
the sentence on Levy's promise to
never again, in person or by agent, sell
whiskey in the state of Mississippi.
The other cases against Levy were
not dismissed, and Judge Johnson in
formed Levy that if he failed to keep
his promises he would Immediately
order his arrest and require him tC
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1911-05-09

and released. AS soon as Judge John
son heard of the woman having been
granted bond, he cancelled the bond
and instructed officers to arrest her
and carry her to the county farm, as
ordered.
The officers went to the woman's
place of abode on Dewey street in
search of her, but she was nowhere
to be found, and it is reported she left
Hattiesburg on an early morning train,
with the avowed purpose never to
"come back" 1t is not generally be-
lieved, however, that she will keep
that resolution, though, so far as Hat
tiesburg is concerned, otis a consum-
nation devoutly to be wished"
Judge Johnson states that he pro-
poses to break up the practices of such
women in this city and his punish
ment of this leader of society in the
"Jungles," it is thought, will be an
advanced step in that direction.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1911-05-09
TWO ARE CREMATED.
Several Are Injured When Texas
Hotel is Burned.

Robstown, Tex, May 1.-TWO
guests at the City Hotel here were
burned to death early yesterday and
two others so seriously injured that
they may die.
They are:
G. W. Harwood of Grand Rapids
Mich, and Clarence Speue of San An
tonic, Tex. The injured are Robert
Lee of Beeville and Mr.. Denman Of
Goliad.
Mr.. Speue lost his life in an effort
to save his fellow guests. He aroused
several and helped them to escape
but returned to the burning hote
once too often and was overcome by
smoke.
The fire started about 9 o'clock
when the guests were sleeping. lt'
origin has not yet been determined
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1911-05-09
War Now Raging In
Mexico; Rebels Determined

said to be more than double that num-
ber.
DR.. Vasquez Gomez, in charge of
Maderos headquarters, announced at
noon that the insurrectos probably
would take Juarez within three hours.
He said the insurrectos occupy most
all the points of advantage in the
town. Fighting in the streets of
Juarez is waging fiercely.
The federals and rebels took refuge
in residences and fired at their enc
mics from the windows. Shortly be-
fore noon five hundred rebels dashed
up Common street ana the feterai~
retired slightly to the hilly section Of
the city, due south Of the river front
Couriers report that the inslrrectos
have taken Big CuM ell Vhue the fed
erals held Church and small CuaTte
at one o'clock today. Some federals
retired in the direction of the race
track. A big explosion near Church
at noon is believed to have been fed
eral mines though it may have been
caused by dynamite bombs, which the
rebels are throwing.
To Enforce Neutrality.
Washington, May 9.-General WOOD
telegraphed Colonel Steever at e
Paso to use his best efforts to enforce
the neutrality of the United States
laws and to urge the people of Ell PasC
of the necessity of keeping out of tht
zone where the firing is going on.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1911-05-09
EXPRESS OFFICE THIEVES
HELD AT NEW ORLEANS

New Orleans, May 9.-Carson Bra
din, alias Harry Green, and Dean M.
Ditton, alias George Harris, charged
with the theft of $4,000 worth OF mon.
ey orders from the Southern Express
company's office at Perkins, Miss.
were arrested here yesterday when
they stepped off train from Gulfport
Miss. The police say that Bradin
made full confession and stated that
all but two of the stolen money orders
were mailed to Jim Smith, Louisville
Ky.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1911-05-09
FACULTY ELECTED BY
WIGGINS HIGH SCHOOL

Virgins, Miss, May 9.-The board
of trustees of the Virgins High
School finished their work last night
of electing teachers for the ensuing
term. Following is the list of teach
ers elected: Miss jamie Mccoy, chart
and primary grades; Miss Adalzo Da-
Wis, first and second grades; Miss
Johnsie Covington, third and fourth
grades; Miss Emma Danley, fifth and
sixth grades; Mr.. Than Bond, seventh
and eighth grades. Prof. Bond was
elected principal and will teach the
ninth and tenth grades.