Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1911-08-24
Several Amusing Instances OF
Absent mindedness.
Tales Tint Colleges Cherish ns Pnrt of
Their Love md TrnJition-g,n-
bnrrnssmcnt of nm English
Scholar.
(From the New York Times.)

going the rounds at the expense of one OF
the professors whose besettinR difficulty
is absent mndedness. Now he's done 1t
again. this time, fortunately, when the
college body was scattered for the sum
mer vacation and even the faculty colony
was decimated. stu there were enough
of the professors and their wives in town
to keep the mild social life astir, and jus
the other day one Of them gave n rather
s,mptous dinner to which a large number
Of guests were invited one Of them was
the absent minded professor
He didn't want to so particularly. not |
because he wouldn't have a good time
but because 1t was too much trouble to
dress and assume company manners FOR
several hours ut a stretch. SO. putting
off the evil moment till the very day Of
the dinner, he sat him down and wrote
note of regret. The note. addressed and
sealed. he took out to post, slipping it In
his pocket and meaning to avail himself
of the first mail box.
1t was fine summer afternoon and he
walked on and on mentally figuring Mt Il
problem in mathametics and forgetting
all about the letter. He had walked miles
ana miles and the afternoon was drawing
to n close. when he was hailed by the
very people that invited him to dinner.
He was right In front of their house,
where the carriage had Just deposited
them.
They were 90 glad to see him. of course
lie would come right in? It was eariv
yet and his colleague wanted 10 show
him an interesting manuscript The
apso nt-minded professor didn't core if he
/ did Soon he and tho other peda%oclla
were deep in the library, and it was with
difficulty that the hostess fShed her
! husband out in time to dress for dinner.
| Tho professor started to go but theT OK
postulated. and he was soon reading
obviously, as the guests for the dinner
began to arrive. He was rather abashed
at the size OF the gathering. and wonder
cd vaguely II his hostess had a houseful
every evening
You had pleasant walk this after
noon?" she asked him when the dinner
was in progress.
why yes; believe did. must have
gone great distance. | went out to
mail lctter-and by heavens l forgot
to post It. Now, isn't that too bad?"
He Hshed II from his pocket and looked
at it ruefully. Then his perplexed face
lighted up
| ''Whv that's convenient" he cr,ed
"rt was for YOU. so III lust deliver il I'm
person" and with a courtly bow he hand
cd It 20 her His hostess tore il open.
read it twice. and then screamed with
delight HIerc is what she read.
II received your kind invitation. and It
was ever 50 nice of you to include me.
/ had hoped to accept. but find am
not feeling UP to the mark. A slight in
disposition will cOnfine me to the house
and deprive me. am sorry 70 saw. OF
being with you al dinner tonight"
: The absent-mlndcd professor thought It
rather mean Of her to pass the note a.
round the table hui she couldn't resist.
: stu he tells them ON himself. sometimes.
There is one story that never would have
RECALLED INC town II he hadn't thought 1t
> too good to keen. /, hanpened last spring
e late one evening. when he had been play
{ Ing bridge at the lone II one of his
: colleagues No came home to nnd tho
r family asleep and himself locked out
: without key.
' That all comes of changing your coat -
he said. and sworc he would ALWAYS wea-
= the same one ever after. He didn't want
, to arouse the household and was greatly
- pleased TO recall that his ncxt-door neigh
N hor had a ladder in his woodshcd
The ahsent-n1inded professor borrowed
the ladder in the dark Of the ntrht
placed IL AGAINST the roof Of mis- v.randa
and made a burplarous entry by the Sc
cond story into his own room. H.. was
soon in bed. and was browsing arf =,
= sleep. when he remembered with a start
that he had loft tho ladder I'm tho POSITION
whore roal burglars MIGHT lind f. "a theii
j ADVANTAGE And besides vhou ,.,l bor
4 row anNthin,, from n neiphbor vo, ought
e t. return u hc said "a himself So slim
y ming ont ON ,no roof bo noddlod 1o,v, M
/ ladder Iurro1 thro,,b ,ro h,a.o roto
a ond sh,,.d :, ho.L ,.r1.- Two sb.d II
e ,oe az. l, ro.,r,o,, ,.,,a. "a, ,,,,.,, ,.,,,,o,,
sh,vor,n,, q u,+,a nc .bo ,iobt ,.ird so,o.,
4 throucb his na,a,as ,hat ne real,zef
r ho No., . ,,,,,,
V into a loc,.o, h,,,.o
p Tho nov, os ,,o.., ,,,o .o,,,. 10 No, ~,
n onl,. .,,so,+-,,,oo, .,.,s,,,. T., ,t ,,.,,,.,,
= of scho,,rsh,r Na,rr,. a,.o,y co,leg
= cherishao o,a az 80 ,.- L.. 90, ,r,1i
:. ,ion rhoro No., 49,, , 1,r,, Van
. kin r,,t..,,,atIa,a .l.,'.,,, ttr
= Of an ,r,r,co,a nroh'ar, ,,rm, no ,y.,
wall;irr tho s.rae, 49,, ,,,.o ,,o,,,
= vri,i,, ht,, e,.' 80
A no uat,oI 80. -" 70
J.. and st.r,ad -, ol.. va, ~,
" q bic ,,., ' ~,
c u.o,o, ,,,,,, ~ ','e
al -, a., '", '''u
- so,,,tio., 49,, '" " =,
$500 49, ~ ~ HI N'lll ~ 'll' .N'''