The Washington bee., 1911-07-29

church at six O'Clock is shocking. [
took 1t over to Fosters and had him
work on it, but he couldn't do much
to 1t. The old suit always makes me
think OF the line Byron write to
La Fin after the Dauphin Louis was
porn, which was Let us forget our
dreams" d" l have seen several other
dress suits, however, that are pretty
near twin brothers to mine. Bob Pei
hams got a bird, by the way, and
Judge TerrelPs amt as new as Ted
dy'S New Nationalism, and Willie
WiihnSon's - well, I won't say any
more.
a%
Catching my breath. don't vou
know Willie Wilkinson is an amus.
ing cuss. He weighs about as much
as the last egg of litter that a
robin lays. Did you ever see Willie
waltz? No? Well, then YOU have
never been to a comedy show Will
lies dancing reminds you of Chief
Low Dog at an ambassadors ball
If waltzed like Willie l would 90
out to the Zoo and feed myself to
the hyenas. He bends that portion
or his anatomy where they usually
locate a mans pistol pocket, out an
an angle of about sixty-fve degrees:
steps all over the lady's train, and
tramps on her feet, and just natur-
ally tires her out. You never saw
a lady, outside of his wife, who ever
waItzed twice with him, and she sim
ply does It to humor him. If prizes
were given at the Assemblies for the
worst dancers Willie would take them
all. l have seen a bear dance. but
bear dancing IS as graceful as
Ada Walkers compared with Willie
Wilkinson's dancing. The next time
they give an Assembly they ought to
print at the head of the invitations
this line: Willie Wilkinson will
positively not appear in the dance"
1t would save many lady from hav-
ing nightmare. But Willie is 4
good old scout at that. Sometimes
he gets mixed up with the words he
wants to use, and sometimes he looks
wise without it signifying anything,
but more willing fellow, and a more
gentlemanly fellow never woke up
III Washington Willie Wilkinson
wouldn't harm a yellow dog. He
just likes to boost everything and
Everybody. He is SO opposed to
knocking that he would not knock
on your door if he called and hap
pened to find you had no door bell to
ring. Everyboy likes him, everybody
has a kind word to say for him, but
as a waltzer he is simply limberger.
And let me tell you Wyatt Archer,
Jim Cobb and Roscoe Bruce, as waltz
ers, are only about ten minutes ahead
of Willie.
a. .
! Most of the women are away to
the mountains and seashore, and as
a result most of the bubbles are now
''baching" it. You can always tell
when a married man is keeping
bachelors hall by the way he squints
at the passing bits of muslin and
lace. When his wife's at home, he
usually hurries along in an abstract
ed manner, and it takes a mighty
fine looking bit of fifth rib to attract
his attention. When his wife's away
he turns and looks back at every wo-
man he passes. Don't matter in
what color they come, nor whether
they are embonpoint, fragil, or just
lprime, and he never questions the
Iage And if they happen to deftly
show their lingerie as they trip across
the street he will stop still and gaze
in wild abondon. Most women trust
| their husbands, however, and feel Sc
cure when they are away. If it were
not for the confidence women have
in their husbands there would be ex-
plosions every day. My wife won't
leave me for a minute.
ISSUE DAILY
Little Rock, Ark, JuIyy I9.-E. M.