The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-06-16

When conftip X sal i went;
The parlor where SO many
Delightful hours were spent;
| The good old horsehair soy,
The crayon, portraits, too,
Which stared so irnpolitely
AS crayon portraits do:
The what-not in the corner
Filled up with ancient junk
The stuffed owl On the rnantel
who listened to the bunk.
/ peddled Just like you did,
/ When courtin' Of your gal,
And life was simply, heaven
When was wooin' Sal.
l remember, / remember
How marched up the aisle.
The knot tied by the pastor
Has held for quite awhile.
The horsehair sofy's missing, s,
The crayon portraits, too,
We're living in apartments
H. With modern stuff clear through.
The stuffed owl is not with US
Perched up above the crate;
We have no corner what-not,
i For we. are up-to-date.
/ / remember; L remember
married Sal, you bet.
The landlord and collectors
Will not let me forget.
REMARKS BY UNCLE ELI. !.
A good many fellers will probably 60
Il to the coronation for the purpose Of
\ getting corned.
Mrs. Anse Judson has got new
vacuum cleaner andiher husband says
he thinks she must try it on his
clothes while he is asleep, for. he new
er has a cent when he wakes up.
Jed Frink's wife. nearly shot him
by mistake for a burglar the other
night when he went home with his
whiskers shaved off and tried to get In
at the back door without being hearc.
Deacon Stubs says the young men
OF this locality have worn out nine
hammocks for him and not one of'em
has go so far as to ask for the hand
of his daughter.
There never was time in the his
70 ~
tory of the world when some Teller
didn't think he was on the verge Of
making a fortune through the medium
Of a perpetual motion machine. Hank
| Tumms says the nearest thing to It
that he knows of 1t his wife's brothers
lower jaw. His wife's. brother has been
leating with him for nineteen years.
@Grandpa Bibbins says Of course It
is great thing to be in good spirits,
but he would "a blamed sight rather
have the good spirits In him. q
lTHoSE SILLY SUMMERS uSFo Ms.
2 Why, Reginald, Oh why 90 you put
on t1ose1t cute little g kpickerpockeFs
and hike out etghteen.or twenty miles
In the hot sun every day and scare all
the old maids into spasms-
when you can SIT under "a tree and
play q nice quiet game OF solitaire.
NEWS FROM me CORONATION
Il d tBy Special GARNER PigeolPl
London, June l6.-There was q seri.
Gus colislon between two trains here
last night. The train. OF the duchess
80
princess OF Ieck and It took the WrecE'
ers a hall hour to get them untangled'
one OF the buffers stepped on NOV
ing train here last night and lost his
balance, also his Job,
Hon John Arthur Johnson, the un'
crowned King OF Galveston, Tex, has
arrived to attend the coronation, all
lit up like the front end ola Fifth ave
nue. lobster palace on Saturday
night. John arthur VIII occupy al
front seat during the ceremony, the
saem oelng the front seat OF his auto
mobile outside OF the police lines.
windows along the line Of march
are bringing fabulous prices and SELL
ing them Is so profitable that many
OF the owners OF buildings are taking
an OF the BACK windows out and .moy.
ing them around In front. Several
hara o{nnas fin onronoEfay, nanoo.. an