The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-04-28

o much more pleasant than child
ood was when you lived II at close
ange.
As "a satorial suggestion, II may be
aid that the derby hat was never
Intended to be worn with overalls.
A big man driving a Shetland pony
nay be very kind to the animal but
e always looks like he is imposing
N II.
II you don't deliberately do a lot OF
hings YOU know you will be sorry for
fterward, you are n most unusual
'erson.
Why wasn't the human animal con
tructed with disposition TO 20 to
,ed early and get up early, as he
hould?
Some men so to extremes; not con
ent with making a pimple seem u
,oil. they figure out that II must be
! cancer
According TO a farm boy, II there
we're some way OF lodging the chores,
he rest OF the work wouldn't amount
o much.
What has become OF the old.fash-
oned mother who worried good deal
,or fear gypsies would kidnap her
children?
You cant blame the dogs for going
10 a dog show, but it would seem that
people could find something more
While we sigh for excitement occa-
sionally, news Of a new straight away
record in an automobile can't satisfy
he craving.
man who usually is late getting
to work in the morning is the employe
most likely 10 watch the clock for
quitting time.
Regardless Of the regulations OF the
pure food law, one continues to get
about the usual amount OF strawber-
ries for quarter.
A woman's idea Of real drouth
sufferer is herself when the cistern
goes dry on the day she has planned
to wash her head
Another advantage the woman
possesses is that she doesn't have 10
join the Uniform Rank to get license
to wear willow plume.
However there is less wear and tear
in keeping your nose on the grind
stone than in pressing the panels OF
the primrose bath.
Every salesman, who works on q
salary, likes to impress you with the
notion that he could do much better
on commission basis.
A man who marries one girl simply
because another girl OF his choice re
fused him, certainly believes in get
ting revenge-on himself.
While barber charges a good deal
for shaving corpse, one must con-
slider the fact that he can't carry on
conversation with such customer.
While it is difficult to beat the law
OF gravity, you may have observed
that the cost Of live hogs falls a good
deal faster than the cost of breakfast
bacon.
A dead hero may not appreciate
your devotion at his shrine, but he
has the advantage over the live one in
that there is less likelihood Of the
tune changing.
When children are willing father
should marry again after mother dies,
it is sign they don't like TO have
him around, and think be needs some
one to take care Of him.
II might prevailed as they say it
used to in the world, and as some
insist it does now, it would be impos-
sible for hundred-pound woman to
boss two hundred-pound man.
A man isn't necessarily disagreeable
just because he doesn't happen to
agree with you; it is when he insists
on dwelling on that fact that the new
spring styles in fits are thrown.
If you are feeling dowp.hearted, tell
your sad story to fat man, and get
him to crying about it. II the tears
rolling down his vast expanse OF
cheek fail TO make you laugh, You
know where the river Is.
There is also the fool who thinks he
can get across a grade crossing eigb-
teen inches ahead OF a locomotive;
and he frequently stays there. dis
tributed in wild profusion up and
down the riRht.Of-way