Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-01-19
RuSSIA'S JESTER.
BaIakireff Is the Joe Miller of the
Muscovites.
HIS WIT TICKLES THE BEAR.

Time Braved tho Anger Of Peter tho
Great-His Miracle Of the Sword and
Wondrous Deed Of Daring.
Every nation has it's typical Jester,
around whom crystalline all the float
ing stories of people. Thus England
has it's Joe Miller, Germany its Till
Eulenspiegel, Italy it's Punchinello, the
orient it's Nasreddin ell Khoja and
Russia it's Balakireff. Like Joe Mil
Ter, the last was real character,
though not all the jokes credited to
him were his own. Some were inven-
lions Of later age; others were bor'
rowed from the past. He shares the
credit for many of the latter with Joe
Miller and Eulenspiegel.
History records that Balakiref was
the favorite jester Of Peter the Great
Tradition represents him as the con-
slant company of that car, frequent
~ exercising his wit at royal expense.
One day, for example, cousin Of his
had fallen under the cars displeasure
and was sentenced to death. Balaki-
ref undertook to obtain reprieve.
The car guessed his errand even be-
fore he opened his mouth.
"Nor' he cried. otis no use your
coming here. I swear that will not
grant what you are going to ask"
Balakireff dropped at once to his
knees. "Peter Alexeivitch," he cried,
II pray you, put to death that scamp
Of cousin Of Miner
Peter, thus caught in his own trap,
had no choice but to laugh and send
a pardon to the culprit.
On another occasion Balakire6 ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
his masters domestic guards. Peter
consented for the sake Of the joke,
but warned his Jester that death was
the penalty If any officer Of the
guards absented himself from his post
or mislaid his sword. Then to test
the volunteer he sent him up flagon
Of wine to "moisten his commission"
Balakireff, as was expected, drank to
the intoxicating point. While he was
sleeping of his debauch the czar him
self crept into the room and carried
of his sword from the scabbard. Bala.
kiref, though badly scared, on awak-
ing made shift to replace the missing
weapon with his own wooden imta-
ton Of the guardsmen's sword. He
was called to parade next morning,
when Peter feigned hot indignation
at the untidiness Of one Of the guards
captain Balakireff," he cried at last, !
draw your sword and cut off the head
Of that sloven!'
Balakiren cast his eyes up to heav- !
en-. "Oh, merciful Cod" he prayed,
grant that my sword may turn into
wood before use It on one of my own |!
fellow soldiers!'
And, 10, when he unsheathed it the ,
blade stood revealed as wooden one.
Peter laughed heartily at the knave's !
presence Of mind and restored him to !
favor.
A more serious offense resulted in
the Punishment of the jester. Never
u0AC ~ appeal VII AAuSoANA 0OAAs
stormed the emperor. Judge then Of
Peters surprise when, week later,
he beheld his old favorite coolly driv.
ing a cart past the palace. i
"How dare you disobey me?' shout
ed the enraged monarch. did I not
forbid you ever to show yourself on
Russian soil?'
"Nay," replied Balakirefr, II have
not disobeyed you. This is not Rus
sian soil'
"How say you-not Russian soil?"
"Truly not. This CARLOAD Of earth
on which l am sitting is Swedish soil.
I dug it up in Finland only the other
day
Again the car laughed uproariously
and readmitted his buffoon to favor.
Some historians add that when he
heard the excuse he said, III Finland
be Swedish soil now it shall be Rus
sian before long," threat he was not
slow to fulfill.
This story. however, was an old one
long before the time Of Balakire6. It