Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1911-02-20
CRIDIRON CLUB,
Annual Banquet with 272
Prominent Men Guests.
Much Amusement in New Quips
President Taft Speaker.
4 Japanese spy--Reciprocity Mes
ssnger--A Six.Foot Cupid.

hard to tell which got the most fun
out of the varied melangc of wit and
humor; OF sense and NONSENSE. that
was poured forth-the guests or the
hosts. There were many men Of high
degree among the former; men of stern
Visage with faces lined with the bur-
dens "f great public charges and re-
sponsibilities; yet they laughed like
school boys and chucliled and chortled
with mirtlG at the merry uuips and
jcSts Of the scribes that unfailingly
played upon the foibles of some of
their own number or hit off in a roar
ing skit some fatal weakness in the
party policies.
And the hosts had that keen sense
Of enjoyment that comes from a
knowledge that one has purveycd sue
cesSfuliy to the utmost demands of
mind and matter and has supplement-
cd repaSt Of the most exquisite
yiands with feast of mingled hui
NOR and satire calculated to add in
finite Zest to the entertainment.
Gridiron dinners differ from most
other formal affairs of the table in
the fact that a guest does not wade
ncr clear down to the coffee and ci-
gars and only then. with brain more
or less dulled, have an opportunity to
listen to floods OF oratory. No: at
one of these banquets the fun begins
with the very seating OF the guests
and sparklcs and crackles through the
dinner ana interrupts courses in a
fashion calculated to drive we'll
meaning chef to distraction.
T0aight's dinner was no exception
10 the rule for almost at the outset
there was what appeared to be bit
ter row over the inauguration OF
Richard V. Oulanan. publisher of the
New Yorl; Sun. as president to pre-
side over the dinners of the Gridron
Club for the next year. Quite UNI
aware Of opposition. he had taken his
seat at the very handle of the Grid
iron when he was fiercely bcset BY
the famous Democratic "Committec
eli Fifteen. Because they had un-
dertaken to run the business OF tie
House OF Representatives relieving of
all responsibility the unfortunate
Speaker Champ Clark whom they eX-
libited il. shackles to demonstrate
what rules fight in one Congress
can do to a perfectly good Speaker IN
the next: they now extended their
ambitious designs and demanded u
be inaugurated as President of the
Gridiron club.
Scarcely had the Committee been
placated by being resolved into Hog
Combine" and order restored when a
In, ri pa
of the most compromising nature
were found upon his person, such as
diagram Showing where Honorable
Cummins will place step ladder ON
back porch OF White House Blue
print of Hon. Taft's mind when Hon.
Hitchcock refused To be impellcd with
toe Of boot out of Republican Nation
AL cc''-"Phonograph record
showing long intervals of silence at
Oyster Bay and measurements of
Honorable hole into which Congress
throws billion dollars each year. "
Just when the excitement ran high
est, ii was discovered that the pseudo
spy was Richmond Pearson iIobson =
tile Japanese War Scare
BLYTHE enough VAS the sprightly
that the House Had passed the Reel
prnCity bill. which he held in his hand.
BIT he eat an awful figure a few
minutes later as he emerged from the
door of The Senate Chamber, with his
clothes in tatters. his hat knocked
over MS eyes and the parchment of the
bill in SAreds all that was left of
Reciprocity"
Then for a moment the dining hall
with its cxquisitCly beautiful floral
was plunged into
blackness. and the great fiery gridiron
over President Taft's head faded
away. In sepulchral tones a lecturer
lifted his voice amid the chill 81
lence and discourscd mournfully, and
then in turn with pungent wit upon
public men and measures. and shrieks
of laughter Wrr" heard as remorsc
less spot light was directed upon the
shrinking victims of his shafts of wit
as they were each in order disclosed
to their fellow guests.
Thinking that he had quoted all OPP
position in disposing of the Com
mittee Of Fifteen" the neWly-installed
President % tn" club had been lulled
into false Securit". Before his very
eyes bis table was spread like mag
ic in the open space below his seat and
il tWinkling an opposition dinner
was in full blast over his protests.
1t appeared that there were insur-
gents even in the t;ridiron Club and
they had taken this method of showing
their independence. They utterly dis
regarded the President of the Club
and smuRly constituted themselves Il
mutual admiration society.
ut is perfectly wonderful how VIC
do it, tmeaning the dinner) says one.
1T is amazing that newspapcrmen
should have so much talent" volun-
teers another to which a third graveiy
aSSentS "However. We admit it.
Notable guests had these insurgents.
too. Among them We're counterfeit
of Carnegie. Tawney
Sherman. Beveridge. Fair
banks and Champ Clark (all of whom
We're present in the flesh at the real
guest tahles> and these were called
upon in turn to briefly address the
diners. Each of the little speeches
ives n bit of delicious parody upon
the well-knoWn oratorical styles of the
originals. Carnegie. for instance OBJ