The Ocala evening star., 1911-05-25
HENDERSON'S
PROPOSITION NOT PROFITABLE

We copy the following warm num-
ber from the pages Of the Arkansaw
Thomas Cat. the magazine that claims
to make Hot Springs famous:
Professor Henderson of the Univer-
sity of Chicago, has been spilling
some fat philosophy on the pages Of
the Sunday papers, concerning love
and marriage. He suggests a college
of courtship where the students shall
receive a thorough education in the
science of spooning before they shall
be graduated into marriage. The pro-
fessor's views concerning adaptability,
fairness, physical, mental and moral
integrity are sound and sane, but they
don't dovetail into the love PROPOSE
tion by several spoonfuls, for the rea-
son that there is nothing safe or sane
in the love cult: IL there was we would
call ii by another name. Going to
teach folks how to make love. huh.
The real article. hey? What a time the
professor will have licking Colonel
Cupid into shape. No, son. the little
boy in the picture books, wears moth
ing but bow and arrow, will he TAX
ing pot shots at all sorts of targets as
long a the world lasts. just he has
been since ii started. and he doesn't
care blooming blink whom he hits.
After the victim has been sorcly
wounded | don't think he would HE
himself TO the professors seminary and
ask if ii were the correct thing TO kiss
her. ] have a notion that he would
bite her neck without a thought Of the
curriculum laid out by the educator
and when she pants her contentment
n the nip guess the entire pair
~.
grow old in ignorance or not. And
what's the matter with holding hands.
and looking into each Others eyes.
and seeing rainbows and flowers there.
And how about losing the voice and
speaking only in whispers and forget
ting all about time and its flight? How
about the total lapse Of reason, and
the loss of sight when he tells her that
the fairness of the lilies in her white
flesh and that the golden CLINT OF God :
sunlight is in her hair and the glorious
! blue of his skies is in her eyes, when
/ the fact is that a glimpse OF her face
would produce Inflammation of the
eye-lids on any sane person, and when
/ she lspS that she Is so proud Of his
manly form and his stalwart intellect
that she Is afraid that il Is all a drea m.
she is totally oblivious of the reality
that he is a wart pure and simple.
Love is not taught; il comes unsought
get that?-but il is not necessarily
contagious. Venus, who mythology
tells US, was the real thing in beauty.
and an adept in love, made a dismal
| failure in teaching Adonis. He would
not take TO her. He wasn't "Stung,
and from his actions in a tete-a-tete
with the Love Queen, I should judge
/ that he would have to have had diff
! ferent mistress il he ever hoped to
| graduate with any kind Of standing
| Menelaus was pretty badly bitten by
the love insect. but he couldn't inoc-
Iulate Helen with amorOus influenza to
any alarming extent, for that enter
prisinc peroxide flew the coop in com
pany with Paris and caused the
IGraeco-Trojan war. and l do not be-
lieve that she was kidnapped either.
always thought Paris looked good &c
her-for a season-better no doubt
than did Menelaus She was a very
smooth article. was this Nell Of Troy
and soon after she had shaken Pari:
she cultivated another case OF infiam-
matory love and transmitted the same
in it most aggravated form TO Ulysses
the wiseSt traveller then at large
Ulysses had been TO school before, too
but his wife. Penlope. seems to have
been . harmless sort of a teacher be
cause she couldn't teach her husbans
enough love and had 10 make him stay
al home Teach man or a woman
love BY system. Now wouldn't thai
freeze the scales off an icicle? Grea
scheme Fancy young buck seeking
an introduction TO sprignty anc
eomeIy heifer- whom he'd been motto
ing. being met with a question blank
which he must I'LL out. giving all ths
inform alton obtainable a. TO lunacy
ScrofuIa felony and bots in his for
bears And concerning this same
young buck and his longings for nj:
"dulce." does anybody suppose for ar
instant that ne cares a miniature damn
whether her paw died Of leprosy oil
was hung The chances are, that Il
YOU remind him Of such a fact. he'll
tell you that leprosy is a noble diseas.
and that hanging il heroic death anS
ne couldn't be taught anything else.