The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-09-06

tCA " pun ny Az SCAlS WOElu VI dU<
monia for q small boy with a sore eye.
Mr.. Bowser was somewhat cast
down. for he really had a good scheme
on hand. one of the best he had
thought out in a year. but as he reach.
ed the butcher shop he couldn't resist
the temptation to step in and say to
the butcher:
You have a big icebox here. How
long does it take you to freeze meat p
why. | could freeze it overnight
with ice enough. Are you going into
the cold storage business?"
Drop in this evening and bring
your fur coat with you" said Mr..
Bowser to the man of meat as he
winked at him and poked him in the
ribs. Two hours later he returned
home carrying Eve carpenter made
shelves, and he at once began mailing
n Of them against the wall.
rs knocking the walls to pieces the
way to make a cold house?" asked
Mrs. Bowser. with a good deal of
irony in her voice.
Tells Wife to Withdraw.
MADAM. will you kindly withdraw
for q timer" she was asked in return.
when the surprise is ready you will
be led up to it. and If you don't say
it's the best thing l have ever done
III eat my hat"
But what do you want of those
horrid looking old shelves IN the
walls?" she persisted.
"Withdraw. madam. withdraw. The
surprise will be all right"
II don't believe it. None of your
surprises ever are. The paper says
this morning that this hot wave Is re-
ceding before the advance of a cold
wave from Manitoba. and l wish you
would give up your scheme"
Mr.. Bowser waved her down the
hall and up the stairs. and ten min
utes later a wagon drove up and a
man brought in five electric fans. Not
more than ten minutes after that an
electrician came to attach the fans to
the wires. BY this time Mr.. Bowser
had two of the shelves up. The cleo
trician began peering and hunting
about and after a time said:
Hang my cats. ! can't find where
the wire comes in"
what wire?" %innocently asked Mr..
Bowser.
"why. the wire from the street.
Where is it,"
II dunno"
But you must have seen it brought
in"
II don't think l did. No, | know l
didn't. You ought to know your bust
ness"
Why Fans Do Not Work.
Mrs. Bowser had been listening from
the head of the stairs, and nov she
came down and asked:
us it electric fans you are putting
up, Mr.. Bowser?"
Eyes, dear. That Is the great sur
PRISE"
And the man can't find what they
call the feed wire!"
mo"
"Well, it would be another great sur
prise on mi if be could. There is
monet"
"Woman, what do you mean7"
"There are no electric wires laid in
the street. You ought to know that.
If you had said your surprise was elec-
trio fans l should have asked you last
night how they were going to be work
ed. How much are you out Of peck.
The electrician grinned and walked
out.
Mr.. Bowser put on his hat and coat
and left the house.
The family cat sat on the stairs and
At 10 o'clock that night the tele-
phone rang, and when Mrs. Bowser
helloed in 1t a voice said:
my names is Jones. l am a farmer.
living six miles from the city,"
"Yes?"
"Mr. Bowser is here and will stay
all night. He is not quite right in his
head. Talks about surprises and fans
and wires, but we've given him catnip
tea and expect him to be all right in
the morning"
And Mrs. Bowser sat down and cried
and laughed.
An Expert.
Griggs-Weren't you surprised that