The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-23
A Memorable Trip to the East.
As per his nromise William

of ponderosity out of the city G
Washington. He jumped throug
the window of one of the cars O
the Pennsylvania railroad and gra
ciously allowed his pecious pei
sonaiity to be carried i'll the direc
ton of Philadelphia, where he ar
rived in few hours.
Philadelphia, as everybod,
knows, Is the slowest place on tn,
map, SO our hero decided that hi
stay there would Ice very brief
He partook of few free lunches
(Including Platonic visit to th.
famous automatic restaurant il
Chestnut Street.) Filled his tanl
with blind tiger special, stuck 6
campaign cigar in the middle OF
his map, crawled into the eastbound
b. aud O., aud in a few minutes
the genial John A. was in Atlantic
City, reciting Byrou's Apostrophe
to the ocean.
Posterity will never forgive the
Chronicle for not allowing us sut-
firient space to narrate IN detail
all that happened III this famous
resort. But for the benefit of tbis
and future generations We can give
Only brief resume.
by special request no demon
STATION was made upon tie arrival
or The notorious travellers. The
OILY thing that marred the occa-
sl'a WAS terrible mistake on the
part OF poor uDsophisticated por-
Ter, who Was immediately dismiss
Ell from the service of the Il. IL O.
Tie poor fellow, never having
beard of the wonderful John a
n,lstook HIM for Brennan's excess
baggage, and began at once to col
lect. Apart from this nupardou-
allie and historical error, every
thing went on as calmly and
smoothly as the course of true
love. 1t was exceedingly nice Oh
the part of the proprietor of the
Shelifront Hotel (where Williams
s'"pped) to pay such close atten. !
ton to his distinguished guest.
and the people of Colfax owe that
gentleman debt of gratitude. for |
the attention to Williams was GER |
tainly complimentary to their town
fe people of Colfax, you missed |
three-fourths of your life when
you failed to be at Atlantic CITY |
o., the 18th of August, when your
fellow towDsman appeared upon
the beach arrayed ia his bathing
suit Did he make a hit? Don't
wention it! The ladies went wild
and some Of them were seriously
of drowning themselves
II Williams did not condeceud toll
l,estow upon them one of those
Williamsic smiles which have
made Colfax famous. Williams
On the beach was, to use the Ian
guage OF Shakespeare, ''tbe Candy
Kid All the ladies In their yor- [
seous bathing attire came forth to I
J" homage to our hero. In this {
mass of feminiDity {
we're all kinds, from the Spindle
legged broiler of sweet sixteen toll
~ he old hen of fat and forty-five t
here we're thick ones and thin | e
mes, handsome and hideols: but
shen they saw that winning smile It
nd his dimpled little arms. thew I
arrled on such antics as DEFY des- r
riptIon. To say the least viii D
Jams made a good impression, es- b
'ecialiy when he sat on the damn n
aud. A great many other impor. a
ant events took place but upfor- "
anately space will not permit us fl
ven to give them passing notice. IL
WILLIAMS GOES TO NEW YORK. II
The Major bad very little time u
spare, and he had promised the
eople of New York that he wopId
ay them flying visit Accord h,
Ugly he started for Gotham the -
Try next day, much to the regret "
the girls at Atlantic CITY. .
mayor Gaynor took great pre- n
l"tions for tire safety of the city's 4;
lest. He detailed detectives at y
cry corner, aud when Williams o ~
20 carried his 200 pounds ayoir-
'qo,s down Broadway, he knew j
at ne was secure from the at
cEs OF the confidence men as
=, as the vendors of the famous
I'D brick.
NOW u Is an actual fact that Ma
actually did stop at the VOL
ri Astoria, and those who re- I,
wed letters from him can testify IL t
tue fact Every one knows pa,
"a 10 I'll Ef