davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18
8 The Bee8 H0me Magazine Page x
Serious History in Comic Vein The Fn Ss%s of

They tell me poker is the national indoor
sport" said Show-Me Smith. the great
historian. and from what I've seen OF
the pastinne out Missouri way and up ano
down the Mississippi admit poker has a
strong call, but in handling the pennant
TO this poker we are too apt to overlook
the fact that we'rs heap indebted to
IF IL hadn't been for pinochle where
would this country be? why, there
wouldn't have been any poker II IT hadn't
been for pnochle, and that certainly would
have crippled a national industry. What
would business or professional life be with
out a Jackpot?
Brooklyn did not invent the game Of
pinochle. although she thinks she did She
was merely the place pinochle was i'm
ported into by thu Hessians about the
time the original commuters were ready
TO cross the bridge and go to work.
These Hessian persons had just landed
on Long Island and they liked it so well
they concluded to annex New York TO II
and call II Yorklyn or New Brookbush or
something like that and rule the whole
place. But they had to get the vote OF
the old settler first. and the old settlers
showed a strong inclination to take their
ballot boxes and move the polls across
the bridge. The Hessisns we're pretty
keen on carrying the district at the elecr
ton next day and started to head them
off
Then 1t was that the first trick in the
political pack on this side of the water
came to the top for the deal. The willy
Brooklyn leaders said to the original in
habitants:
Go ahead and move the polls into
Manhattan and we will detAin these Hes
sian carpet baggers with pinochle party.
which they did. The Hessians fell for
the pinochle game, with the dinner thaJ
went with 1t, and the original inhabNants
moved the whole assembly district over
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18

do" as example for women. Generally will
not acknowledge that there is not right
way" for woman that is ''all her own"
But l cannot help observing that stores
which cater to men exclusively offer no
bargains. They do not patronize bargain
counters.
How the old Bargain Counter WITCH
and the storekeeper, too l reckon-iaughs
in her sleeve as she sees women fight for
a chance to buy at a 2-cent reduction what
they would have sneered at when It lay on
a counter and had it's normal price at
tached. The cents extra would have
been small pay for shopping in comfort
with a stool supporting the nerve centers
OF the back and a mind free from the
divided duty of protecting corns and hang
ing on like grim death to a piece of a
bargain" But mol Rather tramp and be
trampledl
The old bag chortels and hugs her shak-
ing Sides She gloats over the bent backs
and ruined digestions of the slaves who
make her wares. She revels in the worn
nerves and weary feet Of the slaves who
buy.
Oh, II some God-taught sculptor would
carve her hideous face and crouching ma
MAGICAL figure so that you enchanted ones
might see truly the evil genius who makes
you thralls and oppressors. too! You help
her to kill your sisters. who toll to make
the bargains with which she enchants you
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18
Concerning Uncles

A uncle is a kind OF folks
JUS chuck full TO tn brim VIII fun.
He hasn't any little girl
Then how's he know how to treat OneI
A uncle doesn't have to be
So dreffle big an high an all,
He can be uneles jus tn same
II he will eide not TO grow tall.
But his two eyes mus be tn kind
AT looks as II. mex time he spoke,
Wy he is goin' TO tell to you
What makes him buy a hat that jus
Hangs round 10 tell him he mus go?"
'Twon't do no good to hunt for him
He won't be anyheres' you know!
oncet wen my Uncle Fred coined long
He picked me right Vp FUN tn floor,
Where l was. 'monishing my doll
She got her pinkest dress all tore!-
TIL place for little girls to be,
Chats what my bestest uncle said)
rs sitting on a uncle's knee
Till II gifts time 10 go TO bed"
There's stories in tn chimney fire
And he will hunt them out for you
4 wonder where tn fairies went,
An wen my Uncle Fred got thro
Cause wen | went to sleep and dreamed
There's something eookin dreffle far.
That's Uncle Fred a-burning up
Tn cunning little white cigar!
An wen l tho't l heard tn wind
A-rustlin' in IN cherry tree,
Ats wen my Uncle Fred spread out
Tn big newspaper over me,
An Katie wouldn't found me tall,
EXceptin for that little curl
Cause Uncle Fred he looked all round
An he don't see no little girlH'
Don't want to go 10 bed at all!
Not anyway, TIL by-and-byl
But Uncle Fred don't like TO see
A little girl begin 10 cry.
II folks won't go 10 bed an dream,
How can Il get tomorrow day.
That's wen IN big red aut mobile
Win want to ride US miles away.
And so 7 condescend to let
Him take me pig back, upstairs
guess my Uncle Pred forgot
little girl mus say her prayers,
Cause IT'S a shame 10 wake her up"
Is what my bestest UNCLE said
Ken he jus dump me, shoes an all
Right on my dainty little bed
Marie Louise Tompkins In Harper's
Weekly.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18
Fable With a Moral

A woodpecker, looking down from his
high perch on a willow, remarked to a
duck. who was preening his feathers and
waddling IN and out OF the reeds. II say,
what a dull-looking, unattraotive little
person you are-and so conceited!"
mot conceited. merely contented," re-
piled the duck.
How can that be-" asked the wood
pecker, when you have neither size nor
plumage to commend you? Now, look
over there at those handsome ducks with
the green bodies and red heads-those are
what call beautiful birds!'
THAT proves" replied the duck, that
the only brilliant thing about you is your
topknot, and mats on the outside. II you
didn't spend most of your days with your
head in a hole and the rest OF your time
In knocking, you-might have acquired suf-
ficient discernment 10 know that those
ducks, which you so greatly admire, are
decoys-mere wooden things painted red
and green and staked out there to catch
suckers like you"
MORAL:
There's many a clothieg's dummy wear
ing wearing a dress suit and a 40-cent
chest.-Judgs.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18

the river under their noses during the
night
"A warning was sent to the Hessian dis
trct leader in the course of the party that
there was something doing in the gerry
Wandering line. but the head Hessian only
said to the messenger
Go away; I'm NEEDING eighty kings
don't bother mel
The same warning was carried to an
other Hessan, but he only said:
Keep out; I've got sixty queens
But the next morning, when they found
Ithe whole voting population lined up over
the river, they quit cold and said:
We have kings and queens over here
but It looks as though they've just melded
a thousand aces in Manhattan
The Hessian carpetbaggers were beaten
to a fragile and had to move out of the
district to foreign parts.
so in pursuin' the various advantages
of poker a good citizen ought never TO
forget what he owes to pinochle."
Copyright 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18

southern states had already seeded and
Lincoln guided the government through
the horrors of civil war. He was re-
elected for a second term and on April Il,
1865, after he had served a few weeks of
MS second term and in less than a week
after Lees surrender to Grant, he was as.
sassinated by ]. Wilkes Booth.
John Hay said Of him: After the lapse
OF years the high estimate OF him that the
world appears instinctively 10 have formed
at the moment OF his death seems TO have
been increased His goodness of
heart his Astounding charity. his quick wit
ana overnowing humor, which made him
the hero OF many true stories ana a thou
sand legends, are not less valued in them
selves. but they are cast in the shade by
the evidence that continually appear Of
his extraordinary qualities Of mind ana
character"
Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18
Tabloid History of the Presidents
Name and Address.

Abraham Lincoln, sixteenth president OF
the United States, is, with George Wash
ington, one of the towering figures in
American history. He was born in KEN
lucky on February IL, 1909 and died in
Washington April IS. 1866.
He was descended from excellent English
stock, and his grandfather, another Abra-
ham Lincoln, because of his friendship for
Daniel Boone, gave up an assured position
in Virginia for the uncertainties of Ken
lucky frontier life. He was killed by In
dams while clearing the forests with his
three sons, the youngest of whom, named
Thomas, was the father of the future pres
ident.
In 1916 Thomas Lincoln, with his wife
and two children, left Kentucky and set
tied in Indiana. Abrahams mother died
and his father remarked. The second Mrs
Lincoln was a noble woman and her in
fluence of the child Abraham was for
good. From a railsplitter and a flat boat
man this gaunt, gigantic youth by his own
efforts educated himself for a lawyer, hav-
ing in the meantime served as an Indian
fighter, postmaster, storekeeper and county
surveyor.
Abraham Lincoln by general consent be-
came head OF the republican party in his
slavery. From the first he opposed
slavery. His memorable utterance before
the convention OF 1858 was prophetic: II
believe this government cannot endure
permanently half slave and half free. 1
do not expect the union to be dissolved.
But do expect that 1t will cease
to be divided"
After an exciting campaign he was
elected to the presidency by the entire
anti-slGvery sentiment OF the country and
inAugurated March 4. 1861. Several OF the
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18
Chips of Truth

White Holsters are sometimes found.
When you say a man has joined the ST.
lent majority. II doesn't necessarily follow
that he has married. He may have died.
Tokyo has 500 baths where you can be
parboiled at a temperature of 10 degrees
for l cent.
A camel does not see his own hump. but
be sees his neighbours very well.
More suicides occur in Paris in proper
ton TO It's size than any other city.-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
The troone tree Of surinsm has a leaf
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18
Lorettas Looking Up the Bargain Counter Thra

this insertion is pressing in upon your
brain with the weight of tons Of bricks?
No. Lulled, lured, fascinated by the Bar
gain Counter Witch, you wrestle with this
chain Of lace, then. for change, for diver
sion to your tattered nerves, you rush
downtown-and shopl You pick up" more
bargains.
Have you no eyes for the signs Of near
rebellion in your family Are you I'M
warned by the stiff upper lip-it is held
so to keep it from trembling-that your
small daughter wears? She sees you max
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18

ing for the bargain trunk She needs q
party dress" She knows that trunk. Her
small heart has had the Joy squeezed from
1t before by the extracted contents OF that
hateful trunk. The last time she drew a
hideous challis. dull. horrid pink, with
queer, little brown buglike wads that you
vainly tried to tell her were rosebuds. OF
course, 1t is an excellent piece Of goods"
1t will wear well-too we'll Curses on It
for the power 1t has to kill Joy in that lit
tie maiden's bosoml
Men do not hunt bargains.
1t is not often that l quote what men
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18
Nubs of knowledge

An English newspaper printed the first
advertisement. II was inserted in 1913.
Women voted in Elizabethtown, N. J. In
1871
1t is estimated that 10000 a year is
given away to beggars in the streets of
London.
In Scotland the eldest son OF a viscount
or baron is known by the courtesy title OF
master"
Canton. China. is the coolest place on
the globe Tor its latitude. the one place in
the tropics where snow occasionally falls
Holland has over 1000 windmiIls, each
of which drains on an average of $40 acres
OF land.
Consumption is most prevalent among
people between the ages Of 25 and 80.
The albatross has been known TO follow
ship for two months without ever being
seen TO ahght,
In Denmark an old man Of lOs years OF
age had never seen a railway train or a
steamship.
The inventor OF new form OF lining
bricks claim they are impervious 20
moisture and so light they will float in
water.
a wave power mStor that a Californian
recently patented utilities the horizontal
motion Of the water instead Of the vertical,
a. usually Is the case In such machines.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18

That is the sixth dressmaking cataclysm
through which that insertion has passed.
And you are at II again You tried it in
some curtains and they look as II you had
hung your petticoat flounces up at the
windows.
1t is the sign OF your thralldom The
Bargain-Counter Witch has got you. She
insinuated the suggestion into your mind
that it was wonderful bargain. Marked
down from So a yard to 70 cents. Think
Of it'll
Think of it! That's about all you have
been able to do since you acquired 1t. You
have spent enough brain force in trying 10
make it serve some purpose to have con-
Quoted a model dairy or made pin money
pickles and fortune
Cannot you accept the knowledge that
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18
Odd Superstitions

Sweeping at night drives good luck away
To place knife near sleeping child is
an unlucky omen.
If player at cards get into passion he
is sure to have III luck.
To give needles is unlucky and brings
loss of friendship, unless each prioks the
other,
Yawning and sneezing are classed to-
gether by the zulus as signs of approach
ing spiritual possession.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18
Gentle Cynicisms

II may also be true that the rollins
moss gathers no rocks.
A mans club is merely a weapon 10 kfiI
time,
Unfortunately counterfeit money stilI con-
tinues 70 be a thing OF the passed.
The sage, with all his wisdom, sometirnss
loses TO the fool who is a good guesser
A medical journal wisely announces that
you shouldn't sleep on an empty stomach.
Perhaps II means to suggest that you
should sleep on your back.-Boston Herald.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-05-18

thirty feet long-the largest leaf in the
world.
When Cupid hits the mark he usually
Mrs. II.
Red pepper, fed TO canary birds will
change their plumage from yellow TO red.
Necessity, like the average lawyer,
knows no law.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-10-12
BROOKS COMET
LIKE HALLEY'S

FLAGSTAFF, Ariz., Oct. S.-Spec-
Programs of Brooks comet, made last
night at the Lowell observatory,
showed the head was composed
chiefly of cyanogen and the tail of
carbon monoxide, with some hydro
carbon and cyanogen.
There is practically no continuous
spectrum; that is, the light is not
emitted by solid particles, but By
gases. This is almost exactly what
Halley's comet showed with regard
to the different constitution of It's
head and tail, except that the spec
trum from solid particles was
greater.
Bellowsli's comet is a striking OBJ
iect in the morning sky, and its
length of tail this morning must have
been about Is degrees. 1t makes at
the present moment the other angle
of a long isosceles triangle with
Venus and Mercury.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-10-12
MISS ELKINS
AND BILLY HIT

NEW YORK, oct. 3.-Mrs. Elkins,
widow of Senator Stephen b, Elkins,
arrived on the Kronprinz Wilhelm to-
day. With her were her son, stephen
b Elkins, and her daughter, Miss
Katherine. Davis Elldns, another son,
returned on La Savoie Saturday.
William f. Hit, son of the late
Congressman Hit of Illinois, was also
with the group. They were all much
interested in the wireless dispatches
received on board the ship telling Of
the naval successes against the
Turks of the Duke of the Abruzzi,
said to have been former sutton Of
Miss Katherine Elkins. 1t was said
on board that the betrothal Nof Miss
Elkins and Billy" Hit is soon to be
announced.
you will have TO ask Mr., Hit"
said Stephen b, Elkins when asked
concerning the engagement of his sis
ter, mo engagement has been an
nounced yet"
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-10-12
WITH ONE COIN
WOMAN IS RICH

BERKELEY, Oct. 3.-With one 80
cent piece in her possession, Mrs. X.
A. White of 2415 Fulton street, Berke-
ley, may claim to be worth $25,O00
for she has one of the rare coins of
the issue of 1853, which numismatists
have declared to be of that value.
Mrs. White is the third person so
far to come forward with one of the
rare coins. Miss Mary r. Powderly,
according to news dispatches, refused
the value stated for one of the coins
Then NJ. c. Cross % Los Angeles was
announced to be the possessor Of a
coin. Reading of both these pieces
of money, Mrs. White looked in her
belongings for a stickpin made of
5O-cent piece, for she recalled that
her mother had worn the bauble and
that the date on the coin was 1858.
Mrs. Whites memory proved accu-
rate and she says she is willing to
part with the heirloom any person
desiring the coin and willing to pay
$4,000.
Singularly Mrs. Whites specimen
coin came from Michigan, where at
least one other of the rare pieces was
gathered.
"My father had the coin made into
a pin in 1853" said Mrs. White, "at
Grand Rapids, Mich. saw in the dis
patch in The eau that a Mr.. Cross
of Los Angeles brought his from
Niles, Mich. If anybody wants to buy
the coin | have l am waiting for Of
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-10-12
A SUFFAAGIS7
CAUGHT SPEEDING

OAKLAND, October 3.-With Miss
Leola Hall of Berkeley at the wheel
and Miss Margaret Haley, a promi-
nent Chicago suffragist, seated beside
her, an automobile decorated with
suffrage banners was halted at Tenth
street and Broadway this afternoon
and its occupants arrested for speed
ing.
Miss Hall deposited $25 bail and
both were permitted to go. Miss
Haley protested that the machine was
travelling behind car and could not
have gone any faster than it, which
was not stopped; and also that an
other machine passed them but was
not even hailed by the policeman who
arrested them.
The women were on their way to
26lS College avenue, Berkeley, after
addressing the workmen at the Cali
fornia Sash and Door factory.
Miss Haley, who is making a whirl-
wind campaign for suffrage on this
side of the bay, further protested
against the denial of permission to
speak on the streets at noon, and de-
clared that city street sweepers broke
up suffrage meetings held on the
streets at night
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSzS SsSssSesSSSsssssssa
fers. The engraving in making the
pin does not mar the stars or figures,
having been done IN the other side.
The numbers are very plain"
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-10-12
PORTUGUESE MONARCHIsTS Die
IN FIERCE BATTLE IN OPORTO

Other monarchists who had not
been appraised of the raids, hearing
the firing, accepted it as a signal for
the monarchial uprising. They fled
blindly in pairs and in parties of
three or more ran to the places in
the city which they had been in
structed to occupy at critical mo-
ments. Every man was armed with
a revolver and they began firing on
the troops from the side streets.
Early in the fight fresh troops ar
rived and cavalry charged up and
down the streets, firing pistols and
slashing with sabers. Some houses
were set on fire. Eventually the
monarchists who survived were ar
rested or fled and the soldiers re-
stored order The arrests continue.
There is no reliable estimate of the
number killed and wounded,
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-10-12
ARMY AND NAVY

a considerable saving in weight, for
the increased thickness over the vital
portions will be made up for by saw
ing the weight used heretofore for
secondary protection.
Secretary Meyers New Ideas.
WASHINGTON, Oct. Increased
size of battleships, the construction of
fast battleship cruisers, the continue
ton of the policy of abandoning use
less navy yards, the creation of more
admirals and vice-admirals, simplitiCa-
ton of navy correspondence, younger
captains and rear-admirals, and more
enlightened methods for the punish
ment of enlisted men guilty of minor
offenses, are some of the plans Sec
rotary Meyer brought back with him
from his tour abroad.
Heretofore the valuable information
which comes from England and other
countries in Europe pertaining to
naval affairs has "drifted in" piece
meal to the United States and is used
by authorities here in guiding future
plans and designs.
In every important discussion per-
tanning to naval affairs here, naval
officers argue that England a few
months ago had such and such plan, "
or that France, in her last torpedo
boats, adopted this or that novelty
The information, at best, was months
old, and came either from the naval
intelligence officer or through round
about channels.
The situation now is different, Sec
rotary Meyer has doubtless seen much
of the very latest ideas put in prac-
tice abroad, has obtained first-hand
information, which it has otherwise
been impossible to procure, and is
more familiar with certain phases of
foreign naval equipment than even
the most up-to-date naval officers here,
who will act as his technical advisers,
1t is the first time that the United
CONTINUED on page twelve)
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-10-12

LISBON, Oct. (yia frontier)-
There was fighting in the streets Of
Oporto Saturday between monarch
lists and the republican troops follow
ing the discovery of the monarchial
conspiracy A number of persons
were killed and others wounded. The
republicans easily had the better of
the conflict.
Persons arriving from Oporto de-
scribe the scene in that city Satur-
day morning as terrible. Just before
dawn the republican troops surprised
and arrested more than 100 monarch
lists. Others, having been warned,
escaped.
A large body of monarchists gath
cred in a public building, which they
barricaded, and from the windows
and the roof fired on the troops with
automatic pistols.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-10-12
Especial Star Correspondence
Another Target Wanted.

WASHINGTON, Oct Navy gun
ners are now looking over the Pacific
fleet with a view of selecting another
victim, to be used as the old battle
ship TeXas-later named the San Mar
cos-as a target for the deadly aim
of the new guns. 1t is argued that
such practical work as that accom-
plished in the firing against the old
Texas is of far greater value than all
the theories in the world. If it is
not possible to pick out an armored
boat in Pacific waters the navy is
willing to sacrifice, another plan is
to fire a few shots at one of the up-
to-date battleships. 1t could be an
chOred in shoal water, these gun eX-
perts say, and the cost of repairs
would be more than repaid by the ac,
tual experience gained.
One of the important changes which
will be made in new battleships, as a
result of the firings of the Delaware
at the San Marcos, will be a different
arrangement Of the protective armor.
To naval ordnance experts, the de-
struction wrought by the projectiles
hitting the San Marcos demonstrated
that what armor is used should be
sufficiently thick to form actual pro-
lection to ships vital parts, and
that it is of no advantage to spread
comparatively thin armor over other
portions.
1t also was found that the armor
belt should be extended farther below
the water line than in the present
battleships. 1t is considered likely,
therefore, that the comparatively thin
armor which has been placed over
some portions of battleships will be
dispensed with in future, and that
the protection will be concentrated
over the vital portions and made
sufficiently thick to give actual pro
lection.
This, it is explained, will result in
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-10-12

SAN FRANCISCO, Oct. Am in
.teresting discussion of the divorce
question and a scathing denunciation
of it's evils were given yesterday by
Judge Thomas F. Graham at the
meeting of the California Club.
While Judge Graham acknowledged
the necessity of divorces in many in
stances he urged that more human
ity be introduced into the conduct
of most of the divorce trials. The
law is cold and unsympathetic, he
said, and for divorces quite as much
humanity should be injected into
trials as in the conduct of the juven-
lie court. A special department
should be maintained for such cases,
and a Judge, wise, humane, sympa-
thetic and just, should be placed at
the head of it.
He also protested strongly against
the law permitting the granting of