davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-03-15

NV Dear Niece: 1 am sending you
today a lovely pearl pendant to make
up for what you term my unfair
criticism" of you and your wOuld-be
wooers. They say that pearls mean
tears, but l always think it should
be the other way, for pearls are the
best cure for tears that / know.
Bless me, l remember when l want
ed to marry young Joe Harris, father
told me he'd give me a pearl ring II
l would stop grieving for the man
and go abroad. I thought that II my
tears were worth a pearl ring they
were worth more, and 1 wept till 1
got a whole set of them, then went
TO a ball and was happy.
The pearls, you see, created new in
terest in life. And that, my dear, Is
what l am encouraging you to get-a
new interest.
You say that quite lately new man
has arisen on your horizon at Palm
Beach, one of the mice, clever men"
that sort of fill in the corners of life,
but that he has a bad habit of doing
things awkwardly. All, my dear, be-
ware, as you may remember, Emerson
saws, God may forgive sins, but awk-
wardness has no forgiveness on heaven
and earth" But 1 don't suppose you
read Emerson. l believe now We only
gather philosophy from the comic pa
pers.
Still it is quite true. my dear, that the
man who stumbles over footstool Is
sure to stumble over your pet foibles
Il you marry him. Besides with your
money you ought to be able to select
a man that you don't have to apollo
gize for.
The Washington times., 1911-03-15

tish old girl with bangs handed out
a line of chatter about that hefty
pastime usually wasted on the very
young, the old fashioned oscuIation
fest, or kissing games.
Well, Billiam, We seen our dooty
and done it, as Lydia Pink EN- puts
it. And, such is the rotten state of
the path-blazing business, the skit-
tish old dame never got bussed once
all evening.
D'jever butt in on that charming
little excuse labeled spin the plate /?
Babies cry for it. Some whispering
galoot dopes out a roomful of num-
bers, and If you're good at figures
it's a shame to take the honey. Skit-
tishs number was %.
And postoffice has got S. the p.
beaten to a Quaker meeting in a
ollzzard. OF verify. Billiam, 'tis
some class to be child again when
you can appreciate what's going on
so much better. Only Cora got sore
because l tried to boost her rep for
hospitality by scattering my hits and
going into the thing with zest.
Gently but foimIy l put her wise to
the fact that she was off her trolley,
and that for me there was only one
little bale of goods in the whole
planetary system. And take 1t from
the original musketry inspector. Bill
lam. she's the loudest noise in the
whole armory.
I've even cussed off singing the
slang for her saccharine sake. Which
Is the answer for the sweet and pure
brand of American in this effusion.
CHARLIE.
The Washington times., 1911-03-15
Loretta's Looking Glass

TI0W you puff and prance and
III preen! You are a human pea
cock! And it is not because of
your fine feathers that you go through
all the peafowrs maneuvers. 1t is
just an exuberance of vanity, of de-
light in you, own self-bestO"ed i'm
Charming matinee, isn't it?" you
begin.
1t is your opening wedge. You .hur-
ry into your self-eulogizing eloquence.
1T ought to be! 1 have worked
night and day. 1 think We will clear
thousand for the hospital. Every
friend / had bought tickets when I
asked them. Several gave me twenty
and thirty dollars for the cause. But
I had to work. You see, they all did
1t on my account, SO had to see them
personally. How did you like the
dancer? Isn't she fine? She is my
find. I gave her her first chance.
There. I must go; they need me be-
hind the scenes"
You happen to be a metropolitan
specimen of the sisterhood of the
self-important. But every village has
at least one of your kind.
She is always Just tired to DEATH"
She is the only one who can take
hold and swing things" The church
The Washington times., 1911-03-15

nor backwards, nor at her feet, nor
even above, she stared with that hOr-
rible strained smile directly in front
Of her, pointing, pointing. pointing.
A few silent men gathered about
her and spoke in low tones. Yet,
though their voices were scarcely au-
dible. the maiden paid not the slight
est heed. Nor needed they the un-
seen object that had brought that
strained cherry smile to those cherry
lips, and had set that lean' pointing
finger at its motionless work.
And she pointed, pointed. pointed
scarcely seeming to breathe in the
intensity of that indicatory gesture.
Seldom had maiden pointed like that.
What mystery was here? What mar
ble-hearted men were these to let
maiden point so? Was there not one
to walk manfully forward and offer 70
help her point?
But bark! The most authoritative or
the Outstanding men was speaking IN
tones of his most authoritative autnor-
ity. He was speaking thus:
She is no good. She spoils every
thing. Have the scene painters come
first thing in the morning and paint her
out"
But the maiden's strained smile
strained on and her motionless finger
pointed bravely, though her hash was
settled.
The Washington times., 1911-03-15

gain strait afore hur an Iookin' more
sad dan ever. l tries tn slip by, but
she sees me. "Redman," sez she-she
arays calls me by me full name-"I
think need a shine today"
Right" sez l, tippin me hat an put
tin me box in position. AS 1 finishes
de foist shoe. Simpkins-dat's de feller
in Milligans orfce-lookin' bout es
sad as she does, Gums up an sits on de
udder end NV de bench. She don't see
him, she's feelin' so sad, but I turns
and sez, Shine. Mister Simpkins?"
an he mods Jes den she sees him.
. De sadness goes right uhway; hur
face gifts all red an she sorter gifts ner-
vous. He's all rite, Miss Wilson. He's
uh good feller," sez l, trying to make
hur feel all rite. Mr.. Simpkins," sez
], dis is Miss Wilson" Dey both
looked ct each udder, sorter hesitatin'
like. den dey both laufs and shakes
hans.
When I finishes hur shoes she gives
me two bits an won't take no change
An while I'm uh doin his dey talks
uh-bout how sorry dey both wus, an
how dey always wus thinkin' NV de
udder. an how dis bootiful day made
dem feel so bad, an all dat kind Nv
stuff.
Sure, cts in de air. Jimmie. Ye can
see dem sittin' over on de bench now.
an him wild his arm 'roun' hur, If yu'u
take de time tu look.
The Washington times., 1911-03-15
FREDDY" SMITH
He Butts In at the Proper Time.

l guess ct mus be de air, Jimmie
6ey've all got de fever. De gardnur
wus uh-plantin' de bulbs tuday; dere
sprayin' de trees at de udder end now
an, well, dis air makes me think bout
hur, me Loidy in Black. Why, cen
Miss Wilson, dat little uverwurked
typewriter in de Mutuals offices, wus
enjoyin' de air, an now-well l guess
she's enjoyin' sumthin' else.
She wus sittin' on uh bench uver
By de east path when 1 Gums thru, uh
The Washington times., 1911-03-15

Just because they be gaddng about why
she should tell you woman this e2gerne to from home
You don't hear always holern he
continued looking again listening nteny to the
faint sound the bell |
home don't be continually going for
sit home happily and read like
know how"
Here's telegramp for youal, Peeved" interrupted
Della from the doorway, hrusng the yellow envelope
eager hands
Never let alone" he grumbled
from the boss; I've SIS
and join him There's big deal on"
81 don't why you couldn't n the morning. said Mrs
Peeved glancng the telegram with
things?"
Il don't know, petty said Mr. Peeved ruefu1 another
glance the clock Still if he catch the 8l
85 that's all Can't afford bad with supplies
the know"
"Suse Mstah Peefed" dat ah
boy what brung telegamp dat gemmen to
him said would wild bits he bung
enough for youal de game went
up An he says will you please fork up"
Mrs Peeved laid down her embroidery and
Peeved, but he had hurried
The Washington times., 1911-03-15
THINKS

Swearing
Won't make folks believe you're
a man or think you're a mas
ter or show that you can win
aught but disdain from your
friends. Listen, man!
Swearing
Won't frighten a pig from. a
trough. Swearing won't bring
down the rain or the drought
If you find that you must have
a swear, friend, swear off
Swearing.
BY JTNKS.
The Washington times., 1911-03-15
Slang AS 1t Is SLung

Dear Bill: There was large sized
noise at Cora's house last night 1t
was one of those irruptions of youth
and innocence known as a party. We
tied the can to dull care, and soon
after things started to break a skit-
The Washington times., 1911-03-15

porth houth, jutht little
No. courth couldn't live houheth That would be
rdcuouth What ith, if lived little porth houh
know wouldn't bethat ith would Bothered be
whath that? The conductor thpeaking to me?
What thay? No, thirteny didn't tell call
theet What prepotheouth idea! don't thank bit
for nterrupng and dhturbng thith And
back again lthnt that dhguhng, NTH Helen?
thuh offihiouth conductor n life!
That the th though Thomthng awath happenth jutht
when m trying when don't thirtenly think
I'm unfortunate. Do you remember what wath tell
when that Ofithiouth fellow nterfered, NTH Helen?
Well wath trying tell that think awful LOT of
NTH Helen NTH Helen
know wah talking about porth houtheh but ath the
wah getting Why telling how muth think of you?
What thay? Yeh reah porth houtheth don't them have
anything do with thahat h the faith of ibu what wath
trying to thay wath
Oh, The alwayh theem your theet
I'm the mtht Of homting Well have engahment
tonight Tomorrow night? The nex-oh thee Well hope
thee, you the again thoon, NTH Helen.
The Washington times., 1911-03-15
DAILY SHORTEST STORY
The Strained Smile

A strained smile was on her red
red lips, as she stood in startling re-
lief against a cloudless sky, it's in
finite expanse of blue unmarried by
single cloud. There was not a cloud
in sight.
She pointed with long, thin finger
at an unseen, invisible object that
was nowhere in sight. Looking
neither to the right, nor to the left
The Washington times., 1911-03-15
Spinster Aunt's AdUice

How about Jack, by the way? You
don't mention him in your letter. Mary
Endicott says he is coming north to
see her. Is that the why you do not
speak Of him? 1 am curious.
Your affectionate
SPINSTER AUNT
The Washington times., 1911-03-15
THE LISPING LOVERS
Desperate Attempt to Get
Sentimental As Told in a
TROLLEY MONOLOGUE

IKE to look out windowth, NTH Helen You
can thee tho many interethting things Now
thith of lovely little porth front houtheth, for
inthanth IL don't think thould get tired Of
gathng at them.
No, NTH Helen, didn't thay they diff
ferent from other porth houtheth, but it theemth
to me could gath and gath and gath at any little
porth houth. Oh NTH Helen, don't you think it
would be NTH to live in one of thoth porth
houtheth?
Yeth, know your houth hath porth, but
The Washington times., 1911-03-15

,HlNK, John" said Mrs. Peeved holding up the
front of shirtwaist to get the effect of the
embroidery, 81 think, John, it would be nice if
could go to the shore Easter
Huh" retorted Mr.. Peeved, turning to the
sporting page of his paper, a knew that was
comm. First it's Easter hats and Easter clothes,
then it's 60 to the shore and then it's spend money
for something else. | never such woman"
We'll, the Smiths and the Bilksons and every
body is going" snapped Mrs. Peeved.
We'll, spose they arc" grumbled Mr.. Peeved,
The Washington times., 1911-03-15

Doctor" said the apprehensive
looking man, "is it true that there are
people with nervous troubles that
throw them into prolonged and un-
controllable laughter"
There are such cases"
We'll, If you'll go through the hos
pitfalls and collect some I'll pay them
good money. I'm the author of a new
farce"
The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-08-10
NOTICE TO SIDEWALK :
CONTRACTORS,

The undersigned as agent of GER
tain of the owners of properly abut-
ting on both sides of Fifth Avenue. in
the city of williamson, West Virginia
will receive sealed bids for doing GER
tain grading and constructing con-
crete sidewalks in the street fronting
the said property, in accordance with
the specifications for said work pre-
pared BY the city engineer OF said CITY.
Such bids will be received until noon,
Thursday. the 18th day of August,
1911, at which time they will be open
ed and considered by the undersigned.
The right ito reject any and all bids
is reserved.
The work consists of grading the
The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-08-10
Bias Items.

Rush Farley Farley and G. w.
Chain are out on a hunt for
Mitchell Hobbs, who recently put
a counterfeit bill of money on G.
w. Brewster.
Ransom White sold his horse
and bought a bicycle. Wonder
if can ride it?
Jake Workman has a wonder
full lot of peaches this year.
w. B. Curry has a fine melon
patch.
Jim Brewster's wife has cut one
side of his mustache off to make
him stay at home closer. Say,
Jim, just shave Slick and GO
ahead. What say YOU?
Uncle Lewis Farley is going
West before long to spend the
remainder of his life. Hope he
will be happy.
Jeff Farley and Bill Hensley
have invented gritter that
makes meal at the, rate Of &c
bushels per hour Best yet,
isn'tit?
Jim Farley called on Miss Par.
lee Justice Sunday.
Garland Cary, a five year old
boy was shot accidentally by his
uncle about two weeks ago, but
lis approximately.
Mike Gilmer and Minnie Ooten
were married Saturday.
Corn crops are looking very
well in our vicinity.
Golden Runyan found a large
patch of seng on Five Mile, but
is not going to dig it until berries
ripen.
L. VS.. Curry is as happy as
coon in a pine top.
Dodge Sheppard contemplates
bu1ing an automobile this fall.
John Chain is still wearing q
smile on his face.
Some people grumDle about the
hot days; others about the cool
night but I'm perfectly salts
fed aren't you, Uncle Tom?
Bunk?
The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-08-10

Are You Thief or Are You An Hon.
est Man"

Hon. William Kint hits out from
the shoulder in Congress and is ex-
pressing some new ideas. Hear him:
After the election, no matter how
| it goes, the grafters get together and
rob the people on a strictly nonparti-
san basis. am glad to say the swim
die is becoming imperative. Party
lines are disappearing in cities. is
he thief or an honest man?' the vo-
tiers ask nowadays when they go to
the polls They don't care i-n
ABOUT anything else"
Us the country in perilous situa-
tom"
No; the country Is all right. The
people are doing business. They are
going to run me government of cities,
states and the nation. Neither the
Republican nor the Democratic par
ties will live unless it accepts and
acts upon that fact.
The rule of money Is drawing to
ia eclose Legislatures will not be for
sale very much longer. Spectacular
financiers, men whose names now fill
the newspapers, will soon be compell-
ed to attend to their own affairs.
They are called captains OF industry.
As MATTER of fact, some Of them are
d. old anarchists"
The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-08-10

Our first club is finished and
we will have drawing Saturday.
We are getting up our second
club and already have a mum Der
of members. Don't you want to
join? Call in anu we will explain
fully. Sohn's Clothing Co.
The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-08-10
Valuable Residence Property For

A valuable and desirable residence
property for sale in the city of Will
Hanson, conveniently located. For
information. apply at the Office Of this
newspaper.
The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-08-10

sTEcKLER, the Tailor, has your
suit made at home and keeps the
money in your CITY and gives better
fit at less cost than You can procure
elsewhere. Why not give him your or
der for the latest style and the best to
be had.
The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-08-10
Shooting at McNeely's

Alick Duty, wife and family were
visiting Tom McNeeley's last week, and
having nice, quiet time, when unex-
pectedly Tom Brown came busting in
little bit tipsy, and swore he'd run
them all off. Hauling his pistol he
began shooting, and in a few minutes
ali had fled. 1t looks as though he
meant what he said.
Since politics has been SO rotten in
Mingo, It has affected some people I'M
til they care not what they do. It is
time to get better, Tom.
Correspondent.
Don't miss seeing "Nancy's
Career. The most interesting
production of the season.
The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-08-10
ORDER OF PUBLICATION.
OF WEST VIRGINIA.

AIT rules held in the Office of the
Clerk of the Circuit Court of Mingo
ounty, on Monday the 7th day of
August, 1911.
rtgta of West Virginia,
VS.. In Chancery,
VIM. T. Meade let ais.
The object of this suit Ys-to subject
to sale for the benefit of the School
Fund certain tracts of land in said
bill described and especially tract No.
10 containing 419 acres, situaee on
the Spring Branch of the TraceeF'ork
of Pigeon Creek in Hardee District in
said Mingo County.
This day came the plaintiff by her
attorney and upon her motion, and 1t
appearing from an affidavit filed with
the papers is this cause that the de
PENDANTS w. j. Hoyle, Thos. G. Hoyle,
Huges B. Hoyle, Pettus VI Hoyle,
Kenna R. Hoyle, Thurma R. Hoyle,
Samuel r. Hoyle, Nellie Hoyle and
Mamie P. Hoyle are nonresiients of
the State of West Virginia; it is there
fore ordered that they do appear
here within one month after the first
publication of this orler and do what
is necessary to protect. their interests
in this suit And it is further order
ed that this order be published once a
week for four successive weeks in
the Progressive West Virginian a
weekly newspaper published in said
Mingo County, and be posted on the
front door of the Court House of said
county at least twenty days before
decree or Judgment is entered herein.
Teste: GUY WHITE, Clerk.
The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-08-10
Mules for Sale.

have for sale FIVE good mules from
S to II years old and weighing from
BIS to 1150 pounds. Persons wishing
to look at them from 'Mingo county can
come on train No. IS and return on
train No. 10 same day. Call on or adj
dress me at Sa1tpeter, w. Va.
d. MONTGOMERY.
The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1911-08-10

Join STECKLER'S real Suit Club
and get suit of clothes that will fit
you and be perfect in every respect.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-01-05
WMl Pass Winter in West

The Eastern Star lodge on Monday
evening gave a. party in honor OF
Mrs. +. N. Carleton, who leaves to-
morrow for the west to spend the
winter. It was a very enjoyable
social event with program Of cards,
musical selections, dance and sup
per. Mrs. Carleton was presented
with . very pretty emblematic pin as
a token of esteem from the members
of the lodge. A party was also given
in honor of Mrs. Carleton by Mrs.
R. q B Bartholomew yesterday after
noon.
From here Mrs. Carleton will pro.
coed TO Warren, Arizona, TO visit TO,
a month with her son-in-law and
daughter, Mr.: and Mrs. Guy Nicely!
from there she will go to Long
Beach, California, to visit Mr.. and
Mrs. IS. Peterson; thence to Sar
Francisco to see her son, Lieutena AMI
Carleton, and from there to Seattle tc
visit another son, Clarence Carleton
She sSaoes not expect to return tc
Princeton until the early part of June
The; u a o n wishes Mrs. Carleton
an enjoy able sojourn in the land O
sunshine and flowers. ri #: e 10 s
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-01-05
way. Mr.. Lydiard then withdrew his
motion, the resolution was read and,
being put to vote lost by IS to II.
BlgelOw-Douplas

Cecil Bigelow and Miss Stella
Douglas we're married at the home of
the BRIDES mother, Mrs. Martha
Douglas, in this village on Thursday
evening, December % at O'Clock.
Rev. J. o. Fisher of the Congrega-
tional church was the officiating
clergyman. Miss Douglas was mar
ried in suit of gray material and
was attended by\Miss Helen Bigelow,
sister of the COON, while Dallas D..
Start was the best man. From the
Douglas home, Immediately after the
ceremony, the young couple repaired
to the home of the groom's parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Bigelow, where a
wedding supper was served to IS
guests. The house decorations con-
sisted of potted plants and ferns.
MIR. and Mrs. Cecil Bigelow we're re-
membered by their friends with many
pretty gifts.
|. The bride, who is teaching school in
Baldwin, will finish her term there
and after that she and her husband
will 60 to Housekeeping in Princeton,
where both have many friends who
wish them happiness.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-01-05

Thousand varieties Of grains have
been testedSat' . Minnesota station
and y hasbec: ca matter Of com
mon 8obseryat4 . that new varieties
from. distant ,'ources seldom gain
satisfactory results until they become
we'll acclimated.
Observation and experiment further
show that the degeneration Of varie-
ties-Tor the so-called running OUT,
results from careless selection Of
seed and poor tillage rather than from
natural causes. The Minnesota
station would reserve the best field 81
grain on the farm, or the best piece 81
that field, for seed plot, and seek BY
the use Of the tanning mill and grader
to increase the yield and make the
variety already grown more valuable
to the locality.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-01-05
Mr.. end Mrs. 8. Jesmer EDtertain.

On Sunday Mr.. and Mrs. Louis
Jesmer gave New Years dinner in
honor of their nephew, Lisle Jesmer,
who was home on his vacation from
st. Johns university. Those present
were Mr.. and Mrs. Louis ROCKFORD
and daughter, Octavia; Mr.. and Mrs.
Sidney Jesmer and family, Messrs.
Jess and Albert Angstman, Mrs.
Joseph Jesmer, VIM. Kaliher and
Moses Jesmer.
The table was appropriately dec.
Grated for the occasion and the
variety of deicacies was such thai
each guest might easily find some es.
pecially suited to his individual taste
After the feast a program of music
French songs, stories and card play.
ing amused the visitors until the
small hours of January 2:
Mr.. and Mrs. Jesmer are iolly en-.
tertainers and those present wish tc
use this means Of thanking them TO,
their kind hospitality.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-01-05
Death of Willie Dav.

Willie Day, son of Mr.. and Mrs. W.
q. Day, who live near Zimmerman,
died at the Northwestern hospital or
Sunday at noon, aged IL years. The
boy had been in the hospital 9 days,
and on the Monday prior to his death
DR.. Cooney made an exploratory in.
cision and found that he was suffering
from chronic intestinal obstruction
several feet of the intestines we're SO
contracted that the passage of food
was impossible. The operation-at
which DR.. Walsh of St. Paul was
present-disclosed q condition which
precluded a possibility of relief either
from surgical or medical aid.
The remains we're conveyed to the
home of the boys parents by Under:
taker George Ross on Tuesday and
the interment was in the Livonia
cemetery.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1911-01-05
Cost of Clearing Land.

There are several desirable loca.
tions where the wood on land will paw
for clearing, and in usual seasons a
crop of rutabagas sown broadcast or
breaking will pay the cost of both
clearing and breaking. The presen,
season William Coe had five acres
grubbed and broke on which he sowed
the rutabagas broadcast. He re.
ceived $l6O for the crop. Estimating
the cost of clearing at $40 per acre,
total $50; the cost of breaking, at the
highest price, SIS per acre, total S25,
left him SS5 to pay for harvesting the
crop and hauling it to the railroad.
Most all of our pioneer settlers, who
are now we'll off, did their own clear
ing, few acres year by year, until
they have as much as they can Guilt
vate.-Pillager Herald. Id -