The Washington herald., 1911-06-03
LUXURY AN D
LEMONADE ARE
II NOT FOR SENATE
Wave of Economy Has Sen.
ators Engulfed

A wave of economy, pitiful, re-
lentless, and cruel, is enguling. the
United States Senate. Already it
has borne away the daily mineral
water service in the various COM
mittee rooms. The famous medicine
chest. which for years has relieved
Senatorial headaches and STAYED off
Senatorial chills with its capsules
and powders, is slated to be next to
go. A typewriter which Senator of
wore could have in two hours from
the Sergeant-at-Arms' Office for the
asking now must form the subject
of a full-fedged meeting of the
Committee to Audit and Control the
Contingent Expenses of the Senate.
A COMBINE FOR ECONOMY.
The aforementioned committee of five
members has the Senate In a vis-like
grasp. Nobody-and especially the COM
mittee on committees-ever intended the
Committee to Audit and Control the Con-
tingent Expenses Of the Senate to be
anything but q tame and ladylike affair.
It was made up with this end In view.
and, according to the time-honored rule.
whereby there were just enough Repub-
licans to outvote the Democrats. How
IT,, lS ,tokx 4,,@t
well have been made up of three Eemo-
Gratis and two Republicans, for Senator
Bristow, Of Kansas on the majority side,
has decided to train with the two Demo-
Gratis Of the committee, Senators Clarke,
Of Arkansas, and Williams, of Mississippi.
The result has been that a beautiful COM
bine in the name of economy has been
formed and Senators Briggs and Dilling-
ham-the former being the honored but
helpless chairman of the committee-are
powerless.
No More Senatorial Lemonade.
Senators Bristow. Clarke, and Will
Jams have started in with ravenous glee
and are having the finest sport in the
world with the Senate's extravagances.
They have cut the bottled mineral wa
ter squarely Off at the corks. They
have given 1t out plainly. too, that the
lemonade days are over; that no matter
how sizzling the weather, the great
cooling drafts. iced thoroughly and
tuiced with scores Of lemons, will not
again be served in the cloak rooms.
1t now requires the severest sort of
formality for a Senator to procure an
extra typewriter, a new piece of furni-
ture, or a set of curtains for his Office.
Heretofore the Sergeant-at-arms sup
piled whatever was ordered, and the
committee which audited and con-
trolled, acted upon his reports. Under
the new ruling the committee must be
summoned to sit every time a person
files an order which approximates 500
In value.
Medicine Closet Closed.
The dreadful decree that the medicine
closet in the Sergeant-at-Arms' office
must be forever abolished land that Sem
ators who need the curative influences
that drugs can supply must send out and
purchase what they need was pronounced
yesterday by Senator Bristow. Bills for
a fresh assortment of pills, capsules.
plasters, liniments, bandaging, and lotions
were at hand in the committee. Despite
the appeals Of Senators Briggs and Dill
ilhSHdiu tHdt the SENATE meolClue c6Dluet
was an institution almost as time-hon-
ored as the Senate SNUFF boxes them
selves. Messrs. Bristow. Clarke. and
Williams issued the cruel edict. The
matter is hanging FIRE temporarily. but
Ransdell having had
his experiences with the new committee
already. is looking for likely place to
dispose Of some drugs cheap.
VIII barber shops Cor
Whether the economy stride Of the new
committee Is to extend to Senatorial free
shaves in the Senate barber shop Or to
Senatorial free baths in the palatiai bath
rooms In the Senate ONCE building no
one can say. There are rumors that the
cruelty of the newborn Aggregation Of
power win extend that far. How to stop
its ravages nobody knows.
Held -On Charge 81 Assault.
Edward Garner was yesterday held for