Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-09-21

ner. all or them present wal requested
to throw their favorite flower to the
singer. and old man Purdy throwed a
cau!lfower that weighed about nine
pounds and a half. knocked a 81 vase
oHn the pianner and hit Rev. Hanks
on the ear. There are times when
everybody should be a gentleman or IA
lady: n Il recital is one of EN-.
Wide Awake Hose company No.
WAS called out the other night to dis
tinguish the angry elements which had
ketrhed I'm Abe Renfrew's henhouse.
constable Ezra Hand couldn't find the
siease hammer fer 7" ring the fire bell
with and went down to Jed Frink's
blacksmith shop To borrow che and Jed
wouldn't lend him o.e because Abe
Renfrew had owed Jed a bill for nine
Years for shoin' II span OF mules and
Jed said he hoped the henhouse would
burn to the ground and so Constable
Hand had to climb up in the belfry of
the fire engine house and pound on the
bel! with his jack knife. which didn't
make enough noise to be heard bN
Wide Awake Hose company. which
Was plaNin' funk in the back room of
the drug store. the Silvert Cor
net band was practisin' in the opry
house right next to the fire engine
house. So Constable Hand ran down
the street to the drug store yellin' fire
with all his might and busted into the
drug store where the Wide Awake
was playin' funk for "A quar-
ter a corner and the company wouldn't
turn out until they had finished the
game and 30 the constable placed EN-
all under arrest for gamblin' and
marched them up to the office OF
Squire Haskins n the squire had to
get up and dress and then held all h
members OF the company under 800
bonds to keep the peace and by the
time they all got bondsmen and were
at liberty to go to the fire, the angry
elements had did their worst and Abe
Renfrew's henhouse was a mass OF
smouldering ruins and the Odor OF
burnt feathers almost dcpopulated the
neighbOrhOOd.
SOUR GRAPES.
These here new tangled auto cars are
handy. 1t must be confessed,
But when 1t comes to pleasure, l enjoy
the old bay mare the best.
When l go out JOY ridin' with my best
gal sittin' by my side
l kno that I will git back hum. for
my old mare is true and tried.
She never makes me walk nine miles to
find "a country blacksmith shop,
Where l can get her tires repaired. I'm
not afraid of amy cop.
She's got it 40 ways upon a snortin'
sneezin' gas machine.
And she's the best old sparkin' plug
that me and my gals ever seen.
Her carburetor works fust rate, her
coolin' system is immense,
And you kin VI her all day long and
at a very light expense.
She's laid up fer repairs, she
doesn't have to wear no tag.
She never plunges in the ditch, for
c16' u ravsxy 1Nni1a
The speed laws she don't violate and l
have never vet got pinched.
For safe N sane enjoyment, I have
surely got the method clinthed..
No folks that walk are cussin' me. I
don't scare 'em out Of their boots
BY unnin' up behind 'em quick and
lettin' out a lot OF toots.
She don't use UP no gasoline or balk
or back or wheeze a bit.
She kin go by a roadhouse without
trying to turn into it.
1 didn't have to put no mortgage on
my house when / got her.
My creditors don't stand and wonder
what on earth ] bought her fer.
She's good for many seasons and each
year she don't go out OF style
And make me buy a new one every
spring and lose my hard earned
pile.
She never yet has tossed me out into
a tree to break my neck,
or course the autos are all right. but
give me my old mare, by heck.
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MEN ARE LIARS, ALL.
The report was carried to the captain
that the passenger in stateroom No. %
had died and the captain ordered a
deckhand to go and throw the body
overheard.
A few minutes aftcrward the deck
hand reported. He was covered with
perspiration and gave all evidences Of
having had the fight of his life. His
fac was scratched n his clothing