The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1911-11-17
Smart Sayings Of
British Children.

LA AuOM OlAAUk UAMI
Natural, childish wit is one Of thu
most brilliant, most erratic, mos
incomprehensible of the forces of ma
ture, free as the wind, quicker thar
love or lightning, as liable to swift
and sudden singing as an angry
bee. To daily with 1t was dangerous
enough In the Children should BIZ
seen and not heard" era, but in These
present days OF unrestricted juvenile
speech the mere adult who risks run.
ming foul OF quick child's tongue
and temper IL foolhardy, indeed, says
the Chicago Record-Herald.
OF the woman who had not learned
this truth it IL told that she not long
ago hurried to the parlor. where she
had instructed her small daughter tc
entertain an unexpected visitor
while she made some change or dress
just i'm time to hear the child re-
mark:
Eyes, I know who you are. Mrs
Blank You're the lady father and
mother don't like"
"Adelaide!" exclaimed the Mortified
hostess before the equally Mortified
guest could speak, what do you
mean by telling such storiest And
if you knew anything at all about
the matter, you'd know that your
father and 7 think everything Of Mrs
Blank"
well, mother" returned the di-
minutive philosopher, with great dig
nifty. II don't, OF course, know what
you think, but I remember very well
what you last week said about Mrs
Blank You said she was a horrid
old cat and you couldn't bear her
and father said he hoped she'd new
or show her nose inside the house
again!"
A certain clergyman came to
luncheon rather weary and dispirited
after a prolonged session with a spir-
itually discouraged member OF his
flock.
mo, there's nothing serious the
matter with her." the cleric explain
ed, In answer to his Wife's question
but the poor woman suffers severe
ly from overdeveloped scruples-"
The little visitor who was all eyes
and ears came from physicians
household. She pondered long and
earnestly over the minister's saying
That night she asked her father:
Papa, what kind OF a disease Is
the scruples, and colld You by vacci-
mated to keep it OFF,"
Five-year-o1d Ella Is an enthusiasts
tic lie spasmodic gardener. ALI last
spring she thought and talked In
gardening terms, being especially In
terested in the planting and subse-
uCeEt appearance OF her cherished
seeds. One day while visiting a
neighbor Ella was allowed to hold
the baby daughter OF the household
Presently she went running to her
hostess In high glee
"Oh, Mrs. May" sne exclaimed ex-
citedly, do come and look at the
baby! Two Of her teeth have come
up!"
Dick and Harry, aged six and sew
en- were discussing the educational
problem. Dick was for passing
through grammar school, high school
and college before taking up life's
serious burdens; Harry, on the
contrary, felt that grammar school
education would be quite enough
But you simply have to have an
education these days" demonstrated
thoughtful Dick, repeating, parrot
wise, remarks overheard when hang
ing about his fathers study. No
body can do anything worth while in
the world without an education. III
you don't get educated, Harry, you'll
you'll have to be a garbage man
We'll, somebody's got to be a
garbage man." was Harry's calm re-
ply.
a little Irish girl is reported as
the word "Kismet.''
Kismet' means fate, was the
teachers brief explanation. "A little
later the child came limping in one
cold day and explained grandly:
iii can't hardly walk at all,teacher,
cause my right Kismet is so cold"
YES" said the stout and pompous
employer prospective to the quick
witted applicant for the Office boys
job, 1--WE do need a boy-a smart boy
who knows more than Just enough to
eat and sleep and pick up papers
Can you tell me, for instance, how
far it is from the earth to the moon %
mo, boss, II can't" was the swift
answer that landed its maker in
the office boys chair" but IL you ev-
er want to send me there + reckon /
can find out"
A learned music critic gravely re-
peats the tale of little Anita, who at
the conclusion Of a feast, at which
she had dined not wisely but too
well, was heard to soliloquize:
The capathity OF the human stom-
ack il three pints, but" twisting and
turning In a guarded manner. It'll
stwetch!"
We'll, Rastus, / hear your father
Is at work again. What kind or bust
ness is he engaged i'm now2"
De mimi business" answered the
pickaninny, gravely.
The mining business! Why, Ras-
trs. you surprise me. What kind
OF mining can your father do?"
''Kalsominin'. sah"
Good little Mariana had been to
church with her mother and had
listened eagerly to the singing, es-
pecfally to the singing or Jesua Low
err of My Soul. In the middle of
Sunday dinner she inquired innocent
ly, her mind still running on the
second line Of this, popular praise
classic:
Mamma, what kind Of a fly In an
bosom fy?"
What on earth are you coming
home with an empty milk pail fort"
inquired the irate farmer or the new