davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

The little boy regarded the pictures Of
the harem skirt with startling eyebans-
Does 1t mean that am to have twice
as many trousers cut down for me?" he
shrieked.
Do You Get This One?-Ryter-I never
times. Robbins-Why not? Ryter-I'm
afraid If sent it out the thirteenth time
it might come bacl--Exchange
At the Royal Academy.-Artist-M OBJ
ject was to try and express all the hor-
rors of war How do you like it? Friend
have never seen anything more horrible
London Opinion
Wife with paper)-well, well! Here's
another aeroplane accident, and as usual,
Hub-Bystanders? You mean the in
nocent NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Transcript.
Madam, what ails the cniId?" asked
the stern person in the seat opposite the
squalling baby. law, let the woman
alone" said one of two 'rah 'rah lads one
seat back, that's its class yelI."-BufffalO
Express.
Mrs. Perry had a horrid time with the
custom-house officers on her return from
London = IN what way?'' ''They wanted
to make her pay duty on the thirty-nine
articles in her new English prayer-boolz'
-Harper's Bazaar.
Burrows-Can you help me out, old
chap2 am in a hole again. Baxter
Say! What the dickens are you, anyway,
a man or a woodchuck?-Boston Trans
cript-
Got in a Hole.-Gibbs-That remark you
blurted out at the party last night was
in dreadfully poor taste. How did you
come to make it? Dibbs-Well, you see,
there was a gap in the conversation and
clumsily put my foot in it.-Boston
Transcript
Positive wife-John. why do you talk in
your sleep? Have you any idea? Mega
tive Husband-So as not to forget how,
suppose. It's the only chance I get!-
Puck.
Thief (who has snatched q ladys bag)-
Two transfers, a powder puff, a recipe for
headwash and sample o. silk! An
ran two miles wild it! I'm agin votes fer
women!-Puck.
II never Judge woman by her clothes
sarcastically, "a man who gets to as
many burlesque shows as you do
wouldn t."-Milwaukee News.
minister meant when he said 1T is more
blessed to give than to receive" Pa
Well, what did he mean? Wilhe-Castor
oil-Philadelphia Inquirer
The Shortstop-Going to try out that
new boy for the team? Captain-No. The
Minute L nedTu MIN spell plen1pOIentiary,
erysipelas and trigonometricaI I knew he
wouldn't be no use ball nine.-Puck
Il read yesterday that Colonel Tamale.
of the insurrectos, was shot in the back
Il was afraid that would happen to him
1 read a statement in a newspaper the
other day which said: Colonel Tamale
back to the front Houston Post.
Irate VISITOR call this a downright
fraud You advertise on your bills 1.-THE
y ce,on lra111 Il, WTT
and he turns out to be feet inches high
Bland Showman-Exactly so, sir. That's
just what's so remarkable about him
He's the tallest dwarf on record-Tft-
Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05
Lass Rites Under az" Car.

While thousands of persons were
shouting in the street below, the Rev
Father Duffy, of st. Anne'a church,
crawled beneath car of an uptown
Third avenue IL" train at the Four
teenth street station, and Drawing the
third rail-" administered extreme unc-
ton to John Brennan. who had fall
len from the platform in front of q
moving train and for IS minutes lay
dying He was wedged between. tho
brake shoes and the cars forward
truck-NeW York Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Ex-Governor Hoch is Of the opinion
that the days of Republican insurgency
are over. Apparently he has not been
holding converse lately with Senator
Bristow and a few other choice pa
triots. Still. they're likely to be preju-
diced N the premises. But even the
Chicago Record Herald, militant and
progressive to the core, refers to the
erstwhiIe Republican insurgents as
-progressives."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

How punishment fits the crime n
this land of Wanted equality. 1t is no
unusual thing to hear of a man going
to jail and even to prison for the theft
Of a loaf of bread or OF a small sum
of money to keep his body and soul
together. And the other day the ex-
paying teller in a Columbus, o., bank
only got a sentence of seven years in
the penitentiary for stealing no less
than s1O4. 900.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Europe to attract the undivided at
tention of these distinguished gentle
men. Presumably if the people Of
Maine should suggest changes in vari-
Gus of the forms of government in
European countries their newspapers
would get black in the face issuing
Trades against "Amerlcan arrogance"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

With its usual conservatism the AS
ISOLATED Press reports that an aviator
who fell to the ground from A height
OF 100 feet near New York 'ecently
was severely shaken up 1t IS no
more than reasonable to assume that
this statement is well within the truth.
And people who insist that the news
papers and their agencies for gathering
the news are always prone to exag-
gerate may well get in a corner and
hang their heads.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

There will likely be much hesitancy
on the part Of any foreign power going
to war with the United States. 1t is
stated on reliable authority that this
nations navy has increased in efficiea-
cy in marvellous fashion since the
Spanish-American war. And Its eff
cheney then was the marvel Of the
world. Indeed, there never was IA time
that the United States navy was not
efficient enough to put the crimp IN any
other sea power that it attacked. or in
any other kind of naval service.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Frank J. Gould has finally found a
way to make a considerable dent in
his fortune. He has purchased the
Gaiety theater in London for the pur-
pose of providing a stage where his
present wife, former actress. can
star with a company Of he own in a
musical comedy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State Journal
away from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
each dav to any address at the rate of
ten cents a week or thirty cents a
month (by mail only. Address
changed as often as desired. While
out OF town the State journal will be
10 you like a daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Perhaps If the professional weather
men would take vacation and let up
with their predictions, there might be
a change in the atmospheric condi-
tions for the better. Maybe the
weather maker is bent on proving for
all time that the weather sharps know
not whereof they speak
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
TFrom the New York Press.l

I
Truth comes round once in a while,
but lies are steadily visitors.
A good way not to lose money at gam
bling is not to have it to lose
II late suppers were good for mans
health he'd never touch them.
A woman takes better care OF her
complexion than a millionaire does Of
his stocks and bonds.
A man gives orders in his house as il
he were prince, and then goes to his
business to take them as If he were >
lackey.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

A report has it that chickens are
plentiful in these parts. That sounds
pretty good But as a matter Of fact,
chickens and everything else, are al
ways plentiful if you happen to have
the price that is asked for them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Now that it is past, may one venture,
without endangering his liberty, that
about the only thing to be SAID IN ia
vor of yesterdays celebration was the
general disregard of the order 20 play
the piano at an early hour in the
morning.
Two of our former presidents. John
Adams and Thomas jefferson, died on
the National birthday. And IT'S too
bad they could not have chosen the
place and year. BY taking Topeka for
the location and yesterday for ere cate,
they might have found dying a real
pleasure.
An ''old BATCH is usually a man who
in his youth didn't have enough nancy
the money, discovered other uses Tor
The recently tried Bragg murder case
renews the sweetly solemn thought
that our laws place d premium On
testimony which viii assist ia ''sttek-
ing a defendant. If you testify for the
prosecution, you are paid for it, but
if you testify for the defendant, you
do so at your own expense, unless the
defendant is able to pay the bill.
The beautiful thing about summer
vacation is that you don't have to take
it.
Add Clamorgan news-St. Louis date
line: Another brave white man has ex-
pressed his preference for a little OF
the dark
The woman who has failed in all 9TH
err efforts to attain social prominence
may easily crush in by giving real
potato salad party.
European butters-in have signed a pc
tition to keep Maine, u. S. A, in the
dry column, but up to a late hour this
afternoon, Prof. Pretzlemueller and
Herr Piffiebuher at al have neglected
to name state ticket for Kansas.
=HGP-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Clarence Darrow and the other at
torneys for the defendants in the case
are probably in hearty sympathy with
the move to raise among the union Ia
borers Of the country a fund Of S5o0,GOO
for the defense of the Mcnamara broth
ers and the men under Indictment with
them for the alleged dynamiting Of the
Los Angeles Times building.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Many prominent men in all the
countries Of Europe have attached
their signatures to petitions urging the
people Of Maine, U. S. A. not to vote
for a repeal Of the prohibition provi-
sion in its constitution And 1t does
seem that there is plenty Of trouble in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

DR.. Cook is, indeed, an unusual man.
His second thought agrees perfectly
with his first one. An announcement
comes from Chicago that he is now
certain he reached the North Pole.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Even the continued hot weather is
not as monotonous as it might be, in
that each succeeding dav is hotter
than the one that has gone on before.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Now that Mrs. Timothy L. Wood
ruff of New York has taken to avia-
ton, some of her distir guished hus-
bands old vari-colored vests will come
in handy for signal flags
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Add Clamorgan news-St. Louis date
line: Another brave white man has ex-
pressed his preference for little Of
the dark
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

At the Royal Academy.-Artist-M OBJ
ject was to try and express all the hor-
rors of war. How do you like it? Friend
have never seen anything more horrible.
London Opinion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

The beautiful thing about a summer
vacation is that you don't have to take
-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

The woman who has failed in all 9TH
er efforts to attain social prominence.
may easily crush in by giving real
potato salad party.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Thief (who has snatched a lady's bag)-
Two transfers, a powder puff, a recipe for
headwash and sample o silk! An
ran two miles wild it! I'm agin votes fer
women Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

An ''old BATCH is usually a man whC
in his youth didn't have enough nancy
to get married, and later, when he so
the money, discovered other uses 70
it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Wife with paper)-Well well! Here's
another aeroplane accident, and as usual,
a lot of the innocent bystanders hurt.
Hub-Bystanders? You mean the in
nocent Observation-Disclosures Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Willie-Pa, 1 think I know what the
minister meant when he said ut is more
blessed to give than to receive Pa
Well, what did he mean2 Willie-Castor
oil-Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

It never judge. woman by her clothes, .
observed Bilkins. NO. put in Mrs. B
sarcastically, "a man who gets to as
many burlesque shows as you dc
wouldn' t.'-Milwaulxe News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Do You Get This One?-Ryter-I never
send a manuscript out more than twelve
times. Robbins-Why not? Ryter-I'm
afraid If 1 sent it out the thirteenth time
it might come back--Exchange
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Positive Wife-John, why do you talk in
your sleep? Have you any idea? Mega
tive Husband-So as not to forget how,
suppose. It's the only chance I geti-
Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05
HUNOR OF THE DAY

The little boy regarded the pictures of
the harem skirt with startling eyeballs.
Does it mean that 1 am to have twice
as many trousers cut down for me?' he
shrieked.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Mrs. Perry had a horrid time with the
custom-house officers on her return from
London In what way?'' 'They wanted
to make her pay duty on the thirty-nine
articles in her new English prayer-book."
-Harper's Bazaar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Got in a Hole.-Gibbs-That remark you
blurted out at the party last night was
in dreadfully poor taste. How did YOU
come to make it? Dibbs-Well you see
there was a gap in the conversation and
I clumsily put my foot in it.-Boston
Transcript
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Madam, what ails the cniId?'' asked
the stern person in the seat opposite the
squalling baby. law, let the woman
alone" said one of two 'rah 'rah lads one
seat back, that's its class yell. buffalo
Express.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Burrows-Can you help me out, old
chap2 1 am in a hole again. Baxter
Say! What the dickens are you, anyway,
a man or a woodchuck?-Boston Trans
cript-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

The Shortstop-Going to try out that
new boy for the team? Captain-No. The
minute heard him spell plenipotentiary,
erysipelas and trigonometricaI knew he
wouldn't be no use on a ball nine.-Puck
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

of the inSurrectOs, was shot in the back
II was afraid that would happen to him
l read a statement in a newspaper the
other day which said: Colonel Tamale
back to the front Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-07-05

Irate VISITOR call this a downright
fraud! You advertise on your bills, THE
Most Remarkable Dwarf in the World
Bland Showman-Exactly So sir. That's
just what's so remarkable about him
He's the tallest dwarf on record.-Tft-
Pits
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-03-03
ASTONISHED. THE "OLD MAN,
His 'Rah 'Rah Son by No Means the
"Dude" He Had Hitherto
Seemed to Be.

The new governor of western
state has two sons One is big and
husky like his father, but the other is
more slight; and at times he rather
vexes his father by his, affection Of
'rah-'rah boy clothes and a general air
of lassitude and dudishness.
The two sous and the father. we're
in the library one night and the name
of a prizef1ght referee came into the
conversation. The 'rah-rah boy had
been sitting by, twiddling his thumbs,
but his ears pricked up at the mans
name, and he drawled: 81 rather like
that chap. He's all right"
What do you know about him."
the other brother asked, rather con-
temptuously.
ooh, he gave me a shade the best
of 1t one night
Gave you. the best Of it," both
father and brother shouted.
Yes; you see, l fight under the
name Of Young Ryan and he counted
pretty slow one time when | was
down" Evening Post.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-03-03
OVER $4,000 is RECOVERED
investigation of Outaga nie County
Affairs Reveals Shortages Because
OF Loose Business Methods.

Anpleton.-The report of an ex-
pert accountant engaged to audit the
books Of the various Outaeamia
county officers for the last four
years shows that S2,028.S6 has been
recovered from three former officials.
Anton Ritger, county treasurer for
two years, has paid $1,164.22; A. A.
Ralsler, county clerk for ten years,
S8le.75; and Vernon Rule, deputy
clerk for two years, $44.87.
Lack OF system in bookkeeping and
poor checking up by board commit
tees is blamed for the shortages
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-03-03
PLAN ANOTHER 500 CUTOFF
New Railroad Line from Chippewa
Falls to Marshfield Is Now
Under Consideration.

New Richmcnd.-The 500 line is
planning another cutoff on it's st.
Paul Minneapolis and Chicago-Mil-
waukee line. 1t involves the con-
struction Of new line from Chippe-
wa Falls to Greenwood This will
give the 500 practically an airline
from Chippewa Falls to Marshfield,
will eliminate some costly grades
and curves and at the same time
shorten the line about fifteen miles.
Representatives Of the 500 line and
interests associated with the road
have recently purchased several thou
sand acres Of wild and cutover lands
IN Chippewa Eau Claire and Clark
counties along the line of the pro-
posed cutoff.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-03-03
CLASH NEAR OVER
STEPHENSON CASE
STATE PRINTER HAS COPIES OF
PhOBE REPORT READY FOR
WISCONSIN SOLONS.
DEMOCRATS TO SEEK ACTION
Republican Opponents of the Junior
Senator Want to Wait, Fearing
Present Congress - Special Ses-
sion Gould Rot Take Up Case.

Mad1son.-The state printer has
finished the 1000 copies of the re-
ports OF the legislative committees
on the investigation of the charges
IN connection with the United States
senatorial election two years ago
Inc reports make a pamphlet of SOC
pages printed in newspaper type.
The testimony taken bv the Joint
ana senate committees was printed
as part OF the journals of the legis-
lature OF two years ago and 500
extra copies were made and bound
These copies are also ready.
NOW that all of the documents are
ready for distribution it is probable
tnat some action will soon be taken.
Democratic leaders are determined
to have the legislature take action
quickly on the senate committees
recommendation for an Investigation
by the federal senate of the charges
IN connection with Senator Stephen
son.
The radical republicans, however.
40 not want to take the matter up
until after the present session of
congress. They did not want to ask
the present United States senate to
take up the case because they be-
heved that it would not give the
matter as much consideration, owing
to the tendency of the Lorimer case,
Canada reciprocity agreement and
other Dig matters, as will the new
senate, which convenes next Deem
ber
1t an extra session of congress Is
held, the Stephenson case would not
be considered by the federal senate,
because that body could only con-
slder the specific business for which
it is called
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-03-03
TO EXPLOIT BADGER LANDS
Advancement Association. Board of
immigration and Agricultural Col
iege Unite on Publicity Plan.

Madison.-The executive commit
tee of the Wisconsin Advancement
association held a conference here
with the state board of immigration
and the dean Of the college of agri-
culture Of the state university for
the purpose Of arranging a plan Of
cooperation of the three institutions
for the exploitation of the industrial
and agricultural advantages of the
central and northern parts of the
state.
The association decided to estab-
lsh a bureau of publicity for the
purpose Of carrying on the work of
advertising the opportunities offered
to settlers in the northern part of
the state. H. G. Baker, a newspaper
man OF Marinette, will have charge
Of this bureau. The advertising
campaign is to continue for period
of three years.
The association has already raised
$4,000 for the work and expects to
increase it to- over 100000. Owners
OF more than 100000 acres of land
in the northern and central parts of
the state are members Of the asso-
Grafton. A CORPS of speakers to ad-
Feftlse the land will be sent into
other states to- explain the oppor-
tunltles offered in Wisconsin.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-03-03

Enger- Kress Pocketbook Factory
The Largest in World. Is De-
stroyed by Flames.

West Bend.-Fire caused a loss of
100000 at the plant of the Engel-
Kress company, the largest manufac-
turers of pocketbooks in the United
States. The loss is fully covered by
insurance. It is announced that the
company will rebuild. About $50
men are thrown out of employment.
The company came here about fiji
teen years ago from North Milwau-
kee. The old frame building built
in 1858 and used as an amusement
park was remodeled for it's use. Once
the flames were started there was no
hope for the structure.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-03-03
NO PHONE FEE FOR HOTELS
Charging Extra for Service from
Rooms Must Be Abolished.

n.-Hotelkeepers o. e
state no longer will enjoy the extra
5-cent charge placed on telephone
calls going out from rooms in their
hotels, according to an order handed
down by the state railroad commits
sion in the case of Frederick L. Gross
VS.. Wisconsin Telephone company.
The order of the commission not
only does away with the charge on
hotel patrons, but also orders the tele-
phone company to cancel all contracts
entered into with hOtelkeepers subse-
quent to April l, 1907, in which is
contained the 10-cent outgoing mes
sage charge.
The order comes as a result of the
petition of twenty-five members of the
National Travellers association.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-03-03

When Ellen Terry was presented
with Founders gold medal at the
New theater, New York, recently-an
honor conferred in recognition of her
great services to dramatic art-she
was called upon to make a speech Of
acceptance. 1t SO happened that the
actress was exceedingly hoarse and
she was therefore forced to cut her
remarks short. So she told this story:
"a friend of mine once bought a par
rot and gave much money for it with
the understanding that it could speak
fuently, but when he reached home
with it he found to his dismay that
the bird was dumb. So he took it
back. This parrot cannot say a word
he said Indignantly to the bird fancier.
1t can't talk at all Talk the deal
er exclaimed Come to think of it, I
know it can't, but it's devil to
think"