New-York tribune., 1911-03-17
THT TiLh or THE Dil.

merrymakerS and criminals by tho Rov. W.
\ Aborncthv AZ a conference on the needs
Of suburban churches in Morgan Park. Chi
cago cities hereafter will be given over
/ TO evil classes" he said ITO the suburban
churches will come the religious people and
| the religious work. Church work In tho
| city will become almost extinct on account
of lack Of material. Opportunities 10 sin in
small communities arc greatly modified.
/ Relieved of temptation. the m"n and women
of the suburb may devote their energy 10
| church work.
Small Eoy-If You please. sir. may we
have an extra half holiday this afternoon?
! Small Bowel. sir. We thought you
might feel Ike II. sir as YOU were singing
in your bath this morning g.-Punch.
81. PATgICKS DAY.
To-day were celebrating. and our hearts
arc p1lpitating:
! Tho beat OF drum recalls 10 some that
Tatrick's Day is here.
/ and woe lotide the fellow who insists on
wearing yellow.
/ Abroad the green to-day is seen. each
Irish heart to cheer.
I ! grant Pat was tho candy. regular jim
Dandy.
! Gut what il he were here to see the prob
lens Of to-day;
Existence. Could he live it? Assistance:
Could he give il?
! Would banners noui. and people shout?
'Tis very hard to say.
81 Patrick never travelled where diplomacy
unravclled.
! lie ncvcr sought tho subtle thought that
politics invites:
He never chased the Srafto! that our men
~ mind ar after.
But vet his name found endless fame: he
set his land TO rights.
- Patrick never pondcrcd o'cr the trails
Doc Cook has wandered,
lie never knew a subway crew, or heard
of their mistakes;
lie never knew the folly Of the hesitatins
trolley
Ills days vcre spent he was content, with
simply whipping snakes.
\ W. L.
Mrs Frost-And was your daughters cx-
pcrienco as a hospital nurse success?
Mrs. snow Yes. indeed. She was at the
hoepital only two DAYS before they dis
rnissod her hut in those forty-eight hours
She ', had met six perfectly lovely young doe
tors Puck
Returning from trip to Canada. a New
York merchant. accompanied by his wife
and little daughter, broke the journey at
Albany and while there took tho little girl
to tho Capitol that she might sec how
United states Senators are not elected.
The little family group occupied seats
,aI md In, tnla
the Senator's file in to the Assembly cham
her. tho Speaker vacate his place and tho
Lieutenant Governor take 1T and 10 hear
the legislators announce their choice for
Senator. No ono seemed 10 be moro deeply
interested than the child. and when it was
al over her father asked: Nov. Alice,
what interested you most II don't know
dad" she answered. but l couldn't keep
my eyes OFF the member who was address
ing lots Il green st. Patrcks Day postal
cards"
Hc-Thc great trouble with Gabbleigh Is
ho talks-toO much.
That's strange. When he's been with
me he's scarcely said = word.
Ue-On. he's too much or u gentleman To
ntprrupt.-Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Goldstein. who put chamois bag
containing $500 worth Of jcwclry In his
trousers pocket because his wife thought
II would be safer there than in their home
In liSth street. and who had his pocket
picked at Carnegie Hall while listening 10
n concert. may he Interested in this story:
Some years ago a. man and his wife came
to Sew York from nearby pla e for
few days of pleasure. Part of the belong
ings of ,ho couple was an old leather purse.
I'm whi,h the woman kept her Jewels, and
Oh q day when they were to be separated
"A question aros" as to who should be
tho custodian. IL was agreed that the
woman should carry the purse where II
would hc most convenient to do So The
man had gone block on his way when a
messenger caught him with word from his
wife tu return, and he was made custodian
Of the gems of which a pickpockct re-
heyed him an hour later In telling the story
To- Tribune reporter lac said 1t never
would have happened If I hadn't changed
M min1?' Thought 1t was your wife