davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09
A GoIfinq Hardship.
you've killed II Of my ems"

you've killed one Of my ems"
Archie Longdrive looked up as the
shadow of an angry woman fell across
his golf tee.
skilled n of your hens. MADAME
he asked politely. "Why. there hasn't
been a bird on the course! Besides,
I've never been introduced to your
hens. l wouldn't know them if I saw
them! l assure you. r.
"Stop that nonsense" interrupted the
angry woman. land listen to me. l
want half a guinea damages out Of
you. and I'll see that | get it too. l
found one Of your golf balls and
popped it under one of my birds for a
nest egg"
"Well, what's the complaint?' asked
Archie.
"What's the complaint?' answered
the woman. "Why. the ems died Of a
broken cart. thinking l wanted her to
lay a crinkley egg!"-Answers.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09

ed chairs, made dresses and carried
on various other occupations for which
they have been trained. Athletic ex-
hibitions were also given by the blind
students from the Pennsylvania lnsti-
tuition For the Blind. The boys show
ed rather surprising skill and certain.
ty In the various feats they performed.
Plans for the new building have been
drawn. The purpose is to have in the
new building accommodations that will
provide for the eight different trades
that are now being carried on in
cramped quarters. The new building
will have meeting room for the va.
r1ous clubs composed of blind people
that now meet in the salesroom and
loom room. These are so small that
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09
Hop O. Ny Thumbs Return.

"What?' roared Hop O. My Thumbs
wicked uncle when the lad turned up
again after he thought he had lost
him in the forest. "You here again?"
yep" replied Hop. with a broad
grin.
II told the chauffeur to lose O in
the woods" said the wicked uncle.
"How did you find your way back?"
II smelt my way along the gasoline
TRAIL" returned Hop proudly. land so
saved myself from destruction by the
wild beasts Of the woods."-Harper's
Weekly.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09

This bank solicits accounts, and
offers to depositors absolute security,
prompt and careful attention, and the
most liberal treatment consistent with
safe and profitab BILE banking. Buys
and sells foreign exchange, drawing
direct on all principal American aud
European cities, aud issues it's own
Letters of Credit.
Interest paid on time deposits. The
highest cash price paid for approved
state, county, city and school bonds
and warrants.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09
MAxIM'S DEADLY GUN.

Newest Machine Fires Six Hundred
Bullets a Minute.
Six hundred shots a minute is the
record Of the Northumberland gun
which is a part of the equipment OF
the United States army encamped at
San Antonio. it Is not a fierce looking
piece Of mechanism. and vet when it
is once started the bullets leave its
muzzle in almost a solid stream.
The gunner can direct its deadly
flow of bullets like you do a garden
hose when watering the lawn. The
rattle Of musketry" used to describe
the sound of q battle becomes merely
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09

quets. The artist has been most sue,
cessful, however. in changing the bot
ties into feminine creations. the garb
OF IN lending itself more readily
to the decoration of the bottles. Many
OF these figures show a wonderful orig.
1naity. and all add much to the pic
turesque appearance Of the dinner ia.
ole.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09

Photo by American Press Association.
BLIND MAN MAKING O
blind. which will also serve as a work.
shop for them. About $1OO,O 900 of the
sun needed is already available.
President Taft opened the exhibition
and was the first person to sit in a
large upholstered armchair built by
Henry Bolton. a blind man. This arm.
chair was sold at auction later for
SPAS. Other objects made by the blind
were sold. and the sum thus realized
amounted to $500.
During the exhibition blind workers
made brooms, did weaving. construct
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09
THE MAxIM-NORDENFELD GUN.

lHE AAlM.NORDEN FIELD 0UN.
q loud buzz when this machine gun
begins to spout its steel jacketed mis-
siles.
The cartridges that are to be fed
through the gun are first placed in a
web belt. which Is started into the
mechanism. Then the trigger is pulled
and the first cartridge is exploded.
The recoil Of this cartridge pushes the
next one into place, and as long as the
trigger is held back the rain of bullets
continues.
Advocates Of peace may we'll be
pleased that Maxim made this inven-
ton. because by adding to the horror
and the cost of war he has done much
to further the cause of universal peace.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09
Blind Prove
Their Ability
As Workers

IN exhibition of the work of the
blind was held recently ut the
IA Metropolitan Opera House. IL
New York. under the auspices
Of the Association For the Blind. More
than $4,000 persons saw the exhibition,
which included not only samples OF
the work done by the blind. but also
showed the sightless workers perform.
ing their tasks.
The skill Of the hands not guided by
eyes was a surprise to most of the
visitors to the exhibition. which was
designed to educate the public and
was part of an effort to raise a fund
Of $25O.OOO to build a home for the
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09

often the blind who come for help
have to be turned away for lack Of
space.
1t is hoped that the new structure
will have in addition classrooms and
administration offices, a roof garden,
swimming pool. a restaurant, a lecture
hall and a gymnasium. One remarka.
bic feature is that particular effort is
to be made to have each room flooded
with sunlight This the blind feel and
enjoy.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09
Domestic Reverses.

Domestic Reverses.
II understand there has been some
sort Of turnabout in the family affairs
of the Jack Waggses."
"How SOP
1T seems that Mrs. Wages gave
nearly all her time to dressing up and
then Wages gave her a dressing
dOwn."-Baltimore American.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09

and he has devised methods of dress.
ing them up that are unique. Using
the bottles as bodies, he has turned
them into human figures by means of
masks and garments. In some cases
the garments cover the bottle entirely;
In others they merely come down over
the necks, and the lower portions Of
the bottles show.
One of the designs produced Is an
imitation Of the after dinner speaker
with the broad expanse of shirt front
and the white tie always seen at ban.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09
DRESSES FOR WINE BOTTLES
European Artist Devises New Decora.
ton For Table.

Most persons care more for what
comes in bottles than they do for the
manner in which the bottles are deco
rated. But seekers after novelty are
always interested in anything that is
different and that will arouse interest.
An artist in Europe has recently de-
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09
<=s*e4'**@s*4a*t-As

+ The lazy man works harder p.
E getting out of work than the
+ busy man with more work than
he can do Spokane Spokesman :
+ Review.
sssa4+Sss$as Observation-Disclosures
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09

D1VERSIDE CAMP l05s3, Modern Woodmen
N OF America, meets every second and fourth
Thursday of each month at Odd Fellows hall at
= O'Clock. Visiting neighpors cordially invited.
j. G. MYERS, V, G,
JAMES A. PATTERSON. Clerk.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09

Illuminating.
Dentist latter examination)-And
will you have gas. madam?
Nervous Patient-You don't suppose
I'm going to let you tinker with my
teeth in the dark. do you?-Tatler.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09

G.. CONRAD, Pres.
JAMES T. STANFORD.
Vice.Pres. and Manager.
A. E. SCHWINGEL,
Cashier.
OMAR J. MALCOLM,
Asst. Cashier.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-08-09
Jimmy Will Get His.

VTmUty VIII 0et III.
Jimmy Is ar awful boy.
He's full OF sinful tricks.
really don't know what to do
His moral self to fix.
I've had his adenoids cut out:
His tonsils are gone. too:
His 'pendix vermiform's removed.
Now. what else can l do?
Two tried a dozen breakfast foods;
But. sad al 1t may be.
They do not work. TIL have to do
What father did to me.
milwaukee News
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
Gave Him the Worst Of Il.

Simeon Ford is greatly in demand
at dinners in New York for his abil-
ity as an entertainer. He is in a
class with Augustus Thomas and Pat
Murphy for readiness of speech, and
In a class by himself for an individu-
atty in humor Mr.. Ford conducts a
hotel that is not known much the
country over-the Grand Central--but
because Of Its location opposite the
New York Central station on Forty
second street 1t attracts many a mod
est and unschooled traveller. For a
time It became unduly prominent To-
cally because of string of suicides,
and this inspired Mr. Ford into giving
a statement Of his circumstances. II
am not in the fortunate class Of ho-
tel keepers" he said. Visitors from
abroad go to the Plaza, the st. Regis
or the Knickerbocker and pay So a
day for room. They come to my
house and spend 81 day for room
and turn on So worth of gas to kill
themselves"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
CHINESE SAILOR IS BEST
10 Adaptable From Flreroom to Gal.
ley, is industrious and Sticks
to Ship.

There is growing disposition on
the part of ship owners and officers
IN various parts Of the world to send
to China for complete crews. For
most ships, particularly when first
employing such crews, It is necessary
to carry about third more Chinese
for the same service.
On the other hand there are naany.
officers and owners who claim that
with such additional allowance of help
a vessel Is run more easily and eff.
ciently, and that, all things consid-
cred, the Chinese sailor f. the best all
around man aboard ship to be found
anywhere.
He is adaptable from freroom to
galley. is industrious, has little or no
desire to leave the ship in port and
therefore gives little or no trouble
from drunkenness and desertion. AS
soon as they become accustomed to
foreign ways Chinese crews are as
efficient as and often more efficient
than foreign crews man for man, and
some companies pay their Chinese
crew practically as much man for
man as they do white crews and carry
the same complement they would Of
white employees.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
THERE WAS c'!E TOO MANY
Farmer Suspicious of Literary Mans
Methods of Rearing
Children.

The following is told at the expense
Of a New York literary man, into
whose family fifth child came last
summer.
The family were at their country
house In the north Of the state, and
Tor time much Of the care Of the
other four children devolved upon the
father, who entertains some Spartan
notions touching the rearing Of his
sons. EE#
One morning he carried his three
year-old to the creek near his home, to
give him a cold plunge. The lad OBJ.
jected vigorously to this proceeding,
but was firmly held and ducked, de-
spite his protests. 10
Just as the father was Sending in"
the youngster for the second time, a
powerful hand stayed him, and he
found himself 1.-THE grasp of a big
farmer, a neighbor Of his, who began
to roar at him In this wise:
None o. that! None o. that, or I'll
hand you over to the law!"
It consumed the better part of half
an hour to convince the farmer that
no attempt was being made to drown
the child. Even at the end, the
brawny tiller of the soil was not en-
tirely convinced, for he kept shaking
his head doubtfully and murmuring:
Il dunno about that, l dunno. You
got four besides this. "-Lippincott's.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
HONESTY IS THE NEW WAY
Tricks That Used to obtain In Reput.
able Business Firms Now
Obsolete.

THE new idea In business Is hon.
esty, openness. frankness," said Alton
B. Parker at dinner at Esopus. I'VE
used to conceal our plumbing, and
very poor, unsanitary work 1t was.
We expose it now, and 1t is altogeth.
er sound and wholesome and satisfac.
.iory. Well, business is like that.
When think of some of the tricks
that used to obtain In reputable bust.
ness firms I am reminded of the sea.
side acutioneer.
"This scoundrel once held up a SIo
gold piece and said:
"'Guess the date on this piece Of
money. friends. Make guess and a
small purchase, and the correct guess
er takes the COIN
so everybody in the crowd guess.
ed, everybody bought some worthless
rubbish, and the dealer netteo huge
profit. Then, at the end, he looked
at the $40 gold piece. held it up and
said:
Now for it! Who guessed 1894"
Me! Me! Me-. cried every man
jack in the shop.
The dealer smiled.
Then you all guessed wrong he
said, slipping the coin into his pocket
The date is 1892"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
FEW YOUNG FRENCH STARS
" Leading Actresses Are Not All
orandmothers, They Might
Easily Be.

The impresario, Schurmann Of Paris,
who has toured most of the stars"
mas written most entertaining book
OF memoirs under the title of Secrets
de Coulisses."
he says 1t is becoming increasingly
difhcult or organize tours abroad be.
cause OF the scarcity of young talent.
II all the leading actresses are not
grandmothers, he rather ungallantly
remarks, they might easily be.
The reason Paris does not revolt
against this perpetual eclipse of the
young and ardent debutante. he goes
on 10 say, Is because the public of the
repetitions generates" is itself old
and never changes. 1t would be con-
scious OF Its bald head and gray whis.
Kers II 1t saw new artist in the front
rank.
The lady Of thousand charms may
weigh hundred kilos or 80 and may
nave lost all outward grace, but, hap
PLY for her--though unhappily for art
the habitue looks upon ner with the
eyes of one-and-twenty. Yet the gen.
eral public, according to the impre-
sario, has not the same reason for
wishing to be deceived, and so-it
stays away.
He proposes to attract the public to
the legitimate drama by substituting
younger actresses for the passe stars
OF the present day.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
French Ambassador,s consci.nee

french AMBASSADORS conscience.
Now and again our chancellor of the
exchequer receives anonymous sums
from those who at some time have ac-
cidentally or by design defrauded the
treasury, says the London Globe. Re-
Gently the French minister of finance
received 2 FIR. loo. This modest re-
turn evidently set some one thinking,
for few days later came the restitu-
ton Of 1913 pounds. The restitution
OF about eighteen pence is easier to
make than 1900 pounds; possibly the
temptation to withhold the smaller
sum might have been in inverse ratio.
The Paris contemporary from which
we take the foregoing mentions curl.
Gus case Of fraud In which the am.
bassador Of great power was in
volved. How long it went on is not
stated, but In his will he left 10000
francs (2,400 pounds ito reimburse the
state for what he had withheld dur
ing his lifetime.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
Power From Tide. and Winds.


At the recent meeting OF the British
association the question OF economical
production of power from tides and
winds was again under discussion, and
1t has been taken up widely by scien-
tific journals In Europe. La Revue
Scientifique calls attention to a sys-
tenn of utilizing the power Of sea
waves to actuate dynamo which has
been employed during the last six
months at the mouth Of the River
GiroDde. An air chamber is connect.
ed with well, which communicates
with the sea at a depth below the
level OF the lowest tides. BY the ad.
vance and recession of the waves
changes of pressure are produced in
the air chamber. and a system of
valves enables the resulting air cur
rents to be applied to rotating kind
turbine. 1t Is said that the apparatus
works equally well in calm ,{and in
stormy weather. ifsksY
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
Diplomacy.

A North Dakota German farmer as
piring to I'LL an appointive office want
ed to keep on good terms with both
parties. At ten on election night the
result was still uncertain when he was
called upon for a speech. I've meets.
he said. ito celebrate dis glorious
VICTORY We knows not yet vich way
II goes. Hurra Rurra! Hurra!"-
Success Magazine.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
Merely an Incident

Mr.. Farwest-"T met my old school.
mate, Lakeside. today. for the first
.ime In an age. and thought from the
way ne acted when ! mentioned you.
mat you and he must have had some
romance or other before we met"
MRS. Farwest-"No romance about It.
we were married for a few years,
snatsail."--New York Weekly.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
Valuable 49, ;.

Il say" cried y fs,,ow has been
VIC ueese, nself as a collector OF
49,. ~ as been getting In more
Ian any two OF the men we
49, and l want him caught as quick
- az you can" "Ah right III nave
aim In jail in less than week.
Great Scott. man! don't want to
put him In Jail. want to engage
him ideas.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
yapanese ingenuity.

A remarkable specimea OF Japa'
nese ingenuity and skill has Just
passed through the New York custom
house. 1t is complete set of false
teeth carved entirely out Of hardwood
of a color 70 exactly initiate the nafa
ural teeth. They are Intended fof
actual use. m
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
Most Likely.

The unconscious stranger lay on the
sidewalk breathing heavily and groan.
Ing. Two teeth were missing. his
eyes were marked and his nose was
bleeding who can ne be?" said the
crowd again and again. II guess he
was some peacemaker." suggested the
ambulance surgeon. surveying the
wreckage. "A
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
Natures WORKINGS.

II you are looking for the original
blown bottle Cold Proposition. find the
man that always yelled Fill em up
again" In the days when he was young
and In his prime. He Is the one genu
Inc Tight Wad. II you need help. for
the love Of humanity as well as your
self. keep away from him.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
zu,u dlnt, Rinq.

The Zulu woman wears her wedding
ring In ner nose A double purpose Is
thus served II discorrages promiscu-
1ous kissing and she Is IN little danger
OF losing nerrtng in fact. she always
nose where II Is
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
Simple twist Of the wr,.,

You know Jones, who was reputed
90 richf Well. he died the other day.
ana me only thing he left was an old
!. 49, n'ock." We'll. there's one good
M aoout It; I won't be much trou
PIE 70 wind up his estate. SACRED
Heart Review.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
A Spartan.

The negro hackman had driven
them over long and DUST
When they reached the villae4shotei
one Of the party asked thu nh6ro n
they couldn't send him put ~ drink,
mo. sab. All don't .dri0. ms agin
NAH principalities." W
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
Waste osfrlms.

waste OIL Tlmes
Most men have wasted some time
on planning what they would do II
they had mtllien dollars.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
Mems Clothing.

You will surely media hobby suit
for the winter; one that will keep
you warm. but dressy as well.
The easiest way to secure these
things is to see our complete line
of Mems. youths and boys win
ter and fall styles in suits.
They are worth the while to see
and our price will compel you to
get one for youself and your boys
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1911-10-05
VAUK BROS.
Orders by phone receive prompt attention.
All our goods are guaranteed.
Children's Coats.
From $3.50 to $500

zB@g %s%11 [z@zs-z@ gEzg=B@zs
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1911-01-27
6lE5 BOX D

mammals of which hundreds and hundreds were
brought to America to give the student an ade'
quate idea of the fauna Of the African plains,
mountains, valley and forests.
1t was Colonel Roosevelts first glimpse Of the
African quarry since he saw it living in its ma
I'VE Wilds 1t was his desire to know how per-
iecty the specimens had been prepared and
#hat deterioration if any, the climatic conditions
before shipment and after arrival had caused.
Accompanying Mr.. Roosevelt in his trip
through the museum were DR.. C. Hart Merriam,
now the head of the Hartman Geological Foun
uauon and former chief of the United States
biological Survey; Mr.. Edmund Heller, who &C.
vompanied Mr. Roosevelt to Africa and who pre-
pared most of the big game specimens for SHIP
ment; Edgar A. Mearns, the ornithologist, VINO
accompanied the expedition and collected most
u the birds; Louis Agassiz Fuertes the NAM
nlai and bird painter; John Snure, and myself.
We nad the huge rooms in which the Roosevelt
n OOieetlons are stored all to ourselves. Colonel
N0oseVelt spoke freely about his trip and told
a : anecdotes in connection herewith which
~ not appear in his book and which he did not
Society. -'>'''O~-'
is hard to describe adequately the enthu-
aasm OF the Oyster Bay hunter over the natural
ssuleu Tor the National Museum and which. much
Inc ColonePs delight, had arrived In splendid
.Vaaition, due largely to the hard, driving pains
.aaing work of Edmond Heller and J. Alden Lo-
lug and DR.. Mearns In preparing the specimens
SuSSr the heat Of an African sun and with only
a4stVes to help them In their delicate and dth"
cult task.
me first visit of the colonel was paid to the
~ ssiI OF the museum where the elephant, the
4loceros and the hippopotamus hides In their
auue form are slowed away awaiting the day
snen they will be mounted and made to appear
= natural form in the great exhibition hall The
ss'0ael stopped before the skin of one gigantic
ssgnant. The hide had been placed on huge
- sue which it covered completely while the
Wefaow" went to the floor and stretched out for
mug distance in every direction. This" said
~ ~ roosevelt. rs an elephant which had the
ssssuest kind of work to shoot. I labored for
80 tvs under the blistering to get within GER
- ~ nlling range, for the specimen was line
- snd wanted to be sure that could add 1t
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1911-01-27
Proposes to Stay in Office

Austin, Tex.-A heated controversy
is eminent between Captain E. A..
Bolmes, the present commissioner OF
pensions, and R. A. Buford, who was
recently appointed by Governor o. B.
Colquitt to succeed him. Captain
Bolmes informed Mr.. Buford Monday
when the latter called at the depart
ment of pensions that he proposed re.
naming in office until the expiration
of his term, June II. Mr.. Buford ad-
vised Captain Bolmes he would leave
for his home in Henderson and return
in two weeks to take charge of the
pension work. whereupon the present
incumbent informed him bluntly if he
tried to force himself into the office
between now and June II Injunction
proceedings would be resorted to IL
necessary.