davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
Owned Everything.

An Irishman crossed to Canada on a
Canadian Pacific steamer. took the
Canadian Pacific train for Vancouver.
ate at e. T.. Il. eating houses. stopped
at G. r. r. hotels. was shown q. 7. K.
land and finally got To Vancouver,
much impressed with the greatness Of
that institution.
He went to a hotel. registered and
asked the clerk how soon breakfast
would be ready.
breakfast is over" said the clerk.
The freshman looked ut his watch
at isn't time for 1t 10 he over" he an
swered
"Oh. yes. II is" said the clerk. You
see. your watch isn't right We run
our dining room on Canadian Pacific
time"
Good Lord said the lrishman In
an awed voice Does the Canadian
Pacific own the time toor -Saturday
Evening Post
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
Saves His Wife's Life

"My wife would have been in her
grave today" writes o. H. Brown of
Muscadine, Ala, ''if it had not been for
DR.. Kings New Discovery. She was
down in her bed, not fable to get up
without help. She had severe bron-
chial trouble and dreadful cough,
got her a bottle of DR.. Kings New
Discovery, and she soon began to mend,
and was we'll in a short time" Infall..
ible for coughs and colds, its the most
reliable remedy on earth for desperate
lung trouble, hemorrhages, la grippe,
asthma, hay fever, Group and whooping
cough. SOC, $1.00. Trial bottle free.
Guaranteed by j. w. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
Suuelched,

Senator Ogle, member of the Penn
sylvania assembly. had been deputed
to compose an address to the newly
elected president. Andrew Jackson,
When the blum old warrior submitted
his document to the honse fellow
member. dapper little chap from
Philadelphia, observed:
Pardon me, general; / hesitate about
making any, suggestion to so distin-
guished an Individual, but cannot
refrain from saying that 1t Is custom.
ary to write the first personal pronoun
with capital ~ Instead OF small
T."
General Ogle returned a look Of
scorn. 'Sir," said he. when | write
to so great man as General Andrew
Jackson. Democratic president OF the
United States. | ahase myself. sir. |
use as small m Il as ! can put upon
paper. But. sir. II ever should have
to write to little snipe like you
would use an H. sir. that would Oil
two pages Of foolscap'
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
An Alarm At Night

That strikes terror to- the entire house
hold is the loud, hoarse aud metallic
cough of Group No installing it, and
fortunate then the lucky parents who
keep Foley's Honey and Tar Compound
on hand II. w. Casselman, Canton,
n. Y, says, at is worth its weight in
gold. Our little children are troubled
with Group aud hoarseuess, and all we
give them is Foley's Honey aud Tar
Compound. always have a bottle of
it in the house. John W. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22

There was Il young minister In Scot
land who Thought ne was very elo-
quent and who was very AMBITIOUS
The young minister asked the uld min
lister to come ana hpar nlm prra"h and
he preached II magnificent sermon
When they returned to the vpStry he
waited eyre"tantll for some rnmpli-
ment from the old minister. winch did
not come The old minister sal with
beetllng hroWS, looking at him those
heetling nrOws for which dundee ana
its neighborhuod are famous At last
the old minister did break silence and
said. An. mon, We must be a proud
mon the day to hae got rid OF n that
weary. windy, wastefu trash afr yer
stomach"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22

Some years ago civil war was raging
between two Afghan tribes. the Ali
Khel and the Mala Khel The latter
tribe built great hopes of success on a
cannon of such a size that 100 men
were required to draw it. A Sikh
trained In a British battery was en-
gagged to work the gun on the under
standing that he received 20 rupees
every time he hit the village fort OF
the foe This did not prove remuner-
alive. for, according to an eyewitness,
the ammunition consisted of "olive
wood balls bound with iron bands,
which have highly eccentric fight
and are calculated to do about equal
damage to friend and foe" After a
three days bombardment, in which
the fort was hit only three times, the
hostilities came to an end.-London
Standard.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
III. Eruita Shall EoIloM.

The books say well. my brothers. Each
mans life
The outcome OF his former living Is.
The bygone wrongs bring forth sorrows
and woes:
The bygone right brings bliss
II he who iiveth. learning whence woe
springs.
Endureth patiently. striving TO pay
His Utmost debt for ancient evils done
In love and truth Away
II he shall day by day dwell mercifui.
Holy and Just and kind and true. and
rend
Desire from where Il cllngs with bleeding
roots
Till love OF life have end
He, dying, lea veth as the sum OF him
A life count closed whose Ills are dead
and quit.
Whose good is quick and mighty, far and
near.
So that fruits follow Il.
Light OF Asia
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22

Apropos of notices on houses, cor
respondent OF the Westminster Gazette
relates that man in Scotland wished
to have cut over the door of n new
house the text. My house shall be
called a house of prayer" He left the
workmen to carry ont his wishes dur
Ing his absence and on his return his
horror was great to find the quotation
completed. "But We have made ii Il den
OF thieves" I'VE had n wee thing
mair room. We see, so we just pit in the
end o. the verse" was the explanation
given by the Bible loving Scot.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
TWO CIDER TESTS.
The First One w-s Rsther More Con-
...~. "a ,ne Sacord

vineing Thaa the Second.
In all cI"riuuS NV Irr-'N % = gen
orally admitted There Is % cider to
equal that OF Fsrurr Marshall. But
be Is notable for other things besides
Ii is said thHt ne would very murh
rather receive than glNe-in short thhi
be il a stingy uid rascal.
Young Peterson had heard Of this
but be was a young man VINO had Gun
siderable faith Ia his own powers OF
passing ON the gentle hint. and tn suri'
sporuve companions he hud buasied
that ne would get drink of cider oul
of the old man without actually ask
ing for il. As such II thing nad neve'
been known TO happen Ia living mem
ory. there were plenty OF takers. and
the next day Peterson drove over.
Morning. father" said he. "Fin'
orchard you have here
Aye" said the farmer.
"They tell me. too. that yon have
very fine press
Aye. It's the best in all Jersey.
pretty good cider you get. sup
pose. eh! But | dare say I've tasted
better
NOT in your born days. Tom"-thii
to his son-"get an draw mug o
cider
The luscious beverage was brought
and with smile of triumph younl
Peterson held forth his hand to TAX
It.
But the farmers hand got Their,
first. He drained the mug and thei
handed il To the visitor.
There" ne remarked "If yol
think you've ever met the like of tina
cider Just smell the mug"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
HIS CODE MESSAGE.
1t Wasn't Quito So Mysterious as He
Intended II to Be.

1t Wasn't Quite So Mysterious as He
Intended 1t to Be.
The frequency with which revolu
tons occur In Latin American lands
malsSS them "anybody's game" and as
a result of this many persons with.
out experience either in conspiracy or
battle are likely at any moment to find
themselves conspirators and warriors.
One Of these novices at the gentle art
of "revoluting" is the hero of the tale
which follows, favorite In a certain
South American republic.
The novice in question. having sud-
denly acquired violent distaste for
the president Of his native land, rush.
ed away from home in a great rage
and enlisted in the revolutionary
ranks. The next thing he knew be was
detailed to raise troops In a certain
district
1t was explained to him that he must
envelop ali his acts in dark secrecy. In
order the better to accomplish this
the Revolutionary commander told the
novice that whenever he felt called
upon to pen dispatch he must couch
1t in the terms of code, so that gov
eminent officers might not guess the
meaning OF any dispatch II 1t fell into
their hands.
The novice promised to follow in
structions to the letter. A few weeks
later he had collected a force of SOL
diers and desired to acquaint revolu-
tionary headquarters with the fact
Taking his copy of the code from his
pocket. he duly noted that Cow" was
the code word for soldier and cigar
the one for rifle.
He sat down and wrote dispatch.
1t fell into the enemy's hands. 1t was
conceived in these cryptic terms:
II have the honor to report that
have 200 cows and $50 cigars. but the
cows have no shoes and the cigars nc
bayonets. New York Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
BEST on Earth"

This is the verdict of R. j. Howell
Tracy, o., who bought Foley's Honey
and Tar Compound for his wife. "Her
case was the worst have ever seen, and
looked like a sure case of consumption.
He lungs were sore and she coughed
almost necessarily and her voice was
hoarse and weak. Foley's Honey and
Tar Compound brought relief at once
and less than three bottles effected a
complete cure."-John W. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22

He returned to the automobile in tri-
umph, bearing a big pitcher of sweet
milk and two glasses, says the Cleve-
land Leader 1t was more than the
party was able to consume. When he
returned the glassware and asked for
his bill the good woman who seemed
to boss the place said, "Oh. bout a
nickel will be enough. reckon" But
the urbanite figured that quarter was
much more commensurate with the
service and produced the coin in EVIL
dence of his sentiment. The woman
took It, not without some hesitancy.
Land sakes!" she exclaimed. did
1t taste that good?"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
"A RATHER SUPERIOR LOT, SIR.

was duly prepared. but none Of the
guests turned up. The ambassador
was beside himself
Finally, at $50. when all the food
was about spoiled. he sent for his but
Ter, q new and rather green hand
wilkinson" he said. lis il possible
that none of my guests have arrivedT
Not one of 'em. sir" the butler an
swered. This here ringin of the bell
ye may have heard, sir. has been the
work of cursed lot of Halloween
masqueraders, all blackened up and
dressed la yallers and reds and silks
and satins. DIT TO kill-a rather superior
lot, sir They come in motors mostly,
But OF course, In view Of the dinner
party sir, turned 'em away, for all
their protests, In short ORDER Wash
ington Star.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
COURAGE In Elephants.

An elephant with good mahout
gives perhaps the best instance Of
disciplined courage-courage that Is,
which persists in the face of knowl.
edge and isinclination-to be seen in
the animal world They will submit
day after day to have painful wounds
and meet danger in obedience TO Or
ders. though their intelligence is suffi-
cient to understand the peril and far
too great for man to trick them into a
belief that it is nonexistent No ami
mai will face danger more readily at
mans bidding. London Spectator.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
Our Queer Lanquaue.

Isn't it a queer language? A New
York policeman saw woman in the
street with a carpet and n stick.
Beat it," he harshly commanded.
WhereupOn the woman struck the
carpet with the stick and the police
man arrested her for violating n street
ordinance.
The judge heard the woman's story
and smiled
BEAT it, he said to her. and this
time she understood and hurried Il way.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
DADDY LoNeLEGS.
Thirty Different Tribes. cf Which Only
Three Harm Vegetation.

Three Harm Vegetation.
Probably no insert is treated by the
ordinary observer with less respect
than daddy lonElegs, and his good
natured readiness to leave various legs
rs souvenirs with those who handle
him adds nothing to his personal dig
nifty nor his good standing in society.
His short snatches of flight across
the grass are not remarkable for grace.
and he possesses neither the personal
attractions of the butterfly. the terrific
aspect of the spider nor the glaring
imperfectiOns OF the blue bottle.
Daddy longlegs' figure is rather
more blunt and corpuIent than that Of
madam his wife. and among his thir-
ty different tribes only three do seri-
GUS damage TO beets. cabbages. pota-
toes. lawns and grass lands. The fe-
males are said to lay their eggs as
they fly and are sometimes literally
stuffed full. carrying as many as 300
at time. fact which ought to cause
Topknot to blush for shame. with her
boastful cackle and one egg day
cleverness.
The larvae are footless things. with
black heads aud excellent jaws. and
change to pupae from August to Sep
TENDER. They are furnished with
spiny rings. which enable them ia
work their way to the surface OF the
ground, and when their emerging time
comes thousands of empty cases may
be seen sticking half out of the eartl
among the grass.
The tongue is a queer specimen o.
the blowfy order, and on each sid'
of its entire surface is thick, heshJ
cushion.-Detroit Free Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
Thoroughly Inspected.

Goethe was so often intruded upon
by the curious in his house in Weimar
that one day. made impatient by the
determination of an unknown English
man to force an entrance. he suddenly
ordered his servant to show him in.
The Englishman entered. Goethe
planted himself erect in the center OF
the room. his arms crossed, his eyes on
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22


He was FROM the country all right,
but he had "gumption" enough to
know thar II costs nigh all outdoors"
TO satisfy healthy rustic appetite at
certain city restaurants. Therefore
he was slow TO take advantage of the
wine list which his friend and host
thrust before him In the midst of the
white lights, Two. three and four
dollars bottle was heap of money,
by heck.
But his face lighted finally as IL he
had solved the economic problem.
Guess I'll have some o. that" said
he. indicating with his finger. The
line on the card read
Now York Globe
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
Ends Winters Troubles

To many, winter is a season OF
trouble. The frost-bitten toes and
fingers, chapped hands aud lips, chill.
bIains, coTd-sores, red and rough skins,
prove this. But such troubles fly
before Bucklen's Aruica Salve. A trial
couvinces. Greatest healer of Burns,
Boils, Piles, Cuts, Sores, Bruises
Eczema aud Sprains. Only 25c at j
W. Thurston's.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22

Mark Twain used to tell a story of
two rich unmarried women who were
attacked by scruples on the occasion
of Sarah Rernhardt's visit to their
town They had always longed to see
the great French actress. hut the price
Of the tickets. S25 each. seemed to
them wicked extravaganza After
hut instead To give the $50 10 n poor
couple of their acquaintance. rho re-
clpients went straight away and
bought two tickets to see the divine
Sarah
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
With the Coming of Middle Age

There is letting down in the physical
forces often shown in annoying and
painful kidney and bladder ailmen is
and urinary Irregularities. Foley Kid
ney Pills are splendid regulating and
strengthening medicine at such-a time.
Try them.-John w. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
LIKE A STATUE

the ceiling. motionless like statue.
Surprised for the moment. the stran.
ger soon comprehendcd the situation,
and, without being In the least discon
certed. he put on his glasses. walked
slowly around Goethe, inspected him
from head 10 foot and went out.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
Puttinu IL Mildly.

THAT man seems to be proud of
his stupidity" said the impetuous per-
son.
Il wouldn't put it that way" re,
piled the conservative friend. I'D
merely suggest that when 1t comes
to thirst for wisdom he's prohibit
ZIONIST. "-Baltimore American.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
WHY Point 1t Out?

At the art museum the sign Hands
Of was conspicuously displayed be-
fore the statue of Venus de Milo.
A small child looked from the sign to
the statue.
Anybody could see that" she said
dryty.-Ladies' Home Journal.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
Careful.

He would have gathered her in a
warm embrace, but she waved him
back
mo-" she said imperiously.
"You crush my heart" he protested.
Better thy heart" she answered
than my gown" London Tit Bits.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22

Without opiates or harmful drugs of
any kind Foley's Honey aud Tar Com
pound stops coughs aud cures colds DO
not accept any suUSlitute.--John W
Thurslon.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22

A New York man lays down this die
tum: "You must be more conspicuous
than your cIOth Does that apply
to feminine evening dress and bathing
costumes?
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
RIGHT In His Line.

yes" remarked the sad looking
stranger; II have seen the last of
many good man"
Doctor or undertakerE' qneried the
man behind the white apron.
Neither. replied he of the sad
looks. I'm shoemaker"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
Skin of the Turbot.

The skin Of the turbot. cleaned,
stretched and dried. Is used by the
Siberian peasants to form window
panes.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22

A woman physician says she can tell
another womans age by feeling her
pulse This will make the average
maiden really shy about holding hands.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
To Prevent Brain Skid,

II men could put chains Or the
wheels in their heads as they do on
their automobiles it might save them
a lot of skidding.-Oil City Blizzard.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
BIRDS NEST SOUP.
Getting the Material and Preparing II
For the Feast.

Uninitiated people are apt TO think
of birds nest soup as Il most disgust
ing stew of twigs feathers and what
not. AS n matter Of fact. the nest
used by the Chinese Is very delicate,
semitransparent Cclantinous substance
built by the swallow-like birds known
rs the salungane. The nests are found
in the islands about Slam and the Ma.
lay archipelago. and the harvest in a
year will be about $4,000 pounds. val.
ued at over 100000 II used to be
thought that the nest was formed Of
inspissated saliva secreted by the high.
~ developed glands OF the bird Now
it is known that the nest Is made OF a
species OF alga gathered by the bird.
The season for harvesting the nests
lasts from April until September. II
takes three months TO build the first
nest and just before the eggs are laid
the nest is stolen by the collector. The
bird Immediately sets about the build,
ing of second nest. taking thirty days
for the work. This is also stolen he.
fore the eggs are laid The third nest,
however. is unmolested. and the birds
are permitted to raise their young,
after which the nest is taken and sold
In preparing birds nest soup the nest
is washed in cold water and then cook
ed for eight hours in a closed vessel,
after which it is mixed with chicken
broth. seasoned and boiled for a quar-
ter of an hour. Occidentals who have
tried the soup find it palatable and
much resembling chicken soup.-Chi-
cago News.
Give and Take.
Howell-DoeS he take things philo-
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22

The gaekwar of Baroda is named MS
correspondent in an English divorce
suit Are the Hindu princes taking
lessons from European royalty?
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
a SPOILED BANQUET.

An ambassador In Washington had
arranged-the date happened TO be
Halloween-to give a dinner party to
a body of travelling Siamese nobemen
Halloween duly arrived, the dinner
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22

Our deeds determine us as much as
we determine our deeds. George Eliot.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-12-22
Give and Take.

Howell-Does he take things philo-
sophically? Powell-Yes. but he doesn't
part with them philosophically.-W
mans Home Companion.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-07-28
SEWAGE DISPOSAL
PLANS FAVORED
Mayor and Board Have Con
ference With Gary Com
mercial Club Men.

Mayor Knots and members OF the
board of public works following a con-
ference with Col. A. D. Schaeffer, sec
rotary of the Gary Commercial club, In
the club rooms last night, expressed
their approval of the colonefs plan of
sewrge disposal and publication by
means OF electrolysis.
Further data was asked by Col.
Schaeffer by Mayor Knots. AS the
Commercial club secretary has been in
correspondence with cities where this
system of disposal is In use he had
considerable figures to show that its
operation has been successful.
The electrolysis system is very sim
pie. Sewage is run through a large
system of sluices which is electrically
charged. The process kills all mi
crobes. separates and purifies the water
and reduces the solids to an odorless
mass which is rich as fertilizer. Fol-
lowing the separation process the water
is as pure as any other. The microbes
the source of the doors and contamina-
ton. are electrocuted. Engineers state
that the capacity of the disposal plan,
is limited only by the size of the
sluices. Many cities have reservoirs
for the publication of the separated
water.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-07-28
SHOULD TAKE LIFE
EASY AFTER THE
AGE OF FORTY

The physical decay of men over 40
must be more frequently mentioned
lest we. forget the fact that our
PHYSIQUE was evolved for only thirty
five or forty years of strenuous use,
say American Medicine 1t was not
so very long ago that As was extreme
old age-counting time in the large
way of evolution. Lengthening of life
has been possible only because civiliza-
ton has let up the physical strains so
if we continue them we must expect to
break as OF old. Athletes stop their
efforts merely because they are beaten
by younger men, but the non athletic
seem to think that 1t is necessary to
keep up the excessive exercise, though
the tissues simply cannot stand it.
There is. then, no mystery in the large
number of damaged hearts now being
found. and they will continue to in
crease in number and severity until the
medical profession succeeds in impress
ing the lesson. Let US repeat it over
and over again until every man over
40 and as realizes that he has lived his
allotted time of physical vigor and must
ease up the strains to retain his health
There is no reason except abuse why
SO many men break at SIS or so. They