Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-07-16

drowning horse. Bunkoed? Well, yes;
but you'll never guess how. This is what
happened:
HE had got up at about six A. NJ. like all
= hayseeds and went down to the news
stand in his slipper feet for morning paper.
Then who did he run into-bang!- the
Methodist minister who had preached at
Constable four years before. A Rev. Wiley
it was. And Uncle Jerdon simply couldn't
get away. He said he was on business, buy
ing boats or something; but the Reverend
insisted he'd got to 60 to church with him
that morning. : There was no visible way
out of it, with Uncle Jerdons pious reputa-
ton, and so, cursing inside, he pulled his
Sunday face, and trotted along, clean over
to Brooklyn Wasn't that rubbing it in?
at was clean red brick church they went
to, with, new minister who was crazy on
foreign missions And at the end after the
sermon, just before the contribution, the
minister turned himself loose to persuade
money out of stingy pockets. Just think
of it! he says. One dollar will provide red
calico enough to cover the nakedness of
twelve of our heather sisters! One dollar
will buy toothbrushes enough for whole
savage tribe in the South Seas! One dollar
will provide Bible to convert cannibal
tihcate for poor pagans who have previously
lived in sinful polygamy!
"He got the house. Misers who had never
put in dime before sweetened up the plate.
Uncle Jerdon had to make good. 1t cost
him pang to spend cent for the Lord on
this trip-this was his time with his long lost
cousin, the devil. But he dipped into his
pocket, and, thinking dollar would make
good show, threw bill into the plate.
"The deacon counted the contribution
while the congregation sang From Green
land's icy mountains to midas coral strand.
There was hush while the audience rub
bered. Then the treasurer of the church
tiptoed up with them religious squeaky shoes
to the pulpit and whispered behind his
hand to the minister. The minister got up,
coughed, and rolled his eyes to Heaven:
"'Beloved BRETHREN he said, the Lord
hath moved us in wondrous manner this day,
and hath shed his blessing upon our efforts.
The sum collected at the contribution is one
thousand twenty-five dollars and thirty-one
cents. The Lord be praised
"'Amen!' from the congregation, and
everybody looked at everybody else to see
if Carnegie or Rockefeller were there in dis
guise. Uncle Jerdon was as puzzled as any
body, till he put his hand into his vest pocket
and felt for the unbroken thousand-dollar
bill he had put aside to spend on the pr1m-
rose path. 1t wasn't there! He had put it
into the plate thinking it was the one-dollar
bill he had left from his travelling expenses.
Can you beat it,"
And the man with the patch on his eye
reached into his hip pocket for well gnawed
plug of tobacco and took a plenteous bite.
THE roars of laughter had not subsidized
before the big president rose with
surly face and pointed dramatically across
the table to where young man sat in the
shadow of the lamp, his chair tilted back
against the partition. He had a chubby
face, with huge, good natured mouth, and
had been smoking necessarily during the
recital, as if he wished to conceal himself be-
hind a cloud. A couple of boxes emptied of
their Havana cigarettes and the butts of
some two dozen on the floor testified to his
industry. Now everyone turned to look at
him. He stared back at them without en-
barraSsment.
"Who is that chap?" demanded the presi-
dent. II never saw him here before"
ooh, this is Jack Richmond" said thin,
cadaverous looking youth with a chauffeurs
cap, who had been coughing behind his hand.
"Friend of mine. He's all right, l guess.
Met up with him at moving picture show.
Want to hear my yarn?'