The Washington herald., 1911-07-20

In the days of our grandmothers, folk'
did not tell their private affairs.
If girls marriage turned out unfortu
nately she guarded the fact even from
her own kin. In her house of life hei
marriage was the one sacred chamber
into which no curious eyes were allowed
to pry. Her hurts and sorrows she
suffered in silence.
To-day this reserved woman's grand
daughter unburdens her woes to every
mere acquaintance, surrounding her per-
sonalty with a halo of interest: soliciting
sympathy in the troubles which, If she
does not tell herself, she is sure nobody
will notice.
The tendency to boldly bring out the
family skeletons and display them to
the gaze of every passer is one that Is
gaining ground in this twentieth century
and l say it to our shame.
Vulgar Weakness.
For, to say the least. it is a weakness
that borders on vuIgarity, and one that
is not confined to the feminine Sex by
any means.
1 could count off a half dozen men 'on
the instant who eagerly twist every con-
for the airing of their domestic infelici-
ties, telling anybody who will listen what
they suffer in their homes.
A maudlin desire for sympathy
prompts these unwise condolences which
are unworthy any grown-up human being.
A sometime neighbor of mine. in dis
tant city, used to come to me with the
regularity of a clock every day in the
week with her domestic bulletin. detail
ing what her husband had said to her
about this. that, or the other, and how he
had behaved under certain circumstances.
She was a stranger in a strange town;
a lonely little woman who was most un-
happily and uncongenially married, and
she just had to tell somebody.
And there is not a woman of US who
does not know her counterpart, the in
sistent solicitor of our sympathies in
troubles that she should keep locked
within herself for the sake of pride and
decency, if for no other reason.
Yellow Streak.
But there is a cowardly yellow streak
in her somewhere and she Is bound to
cave you tell her how sorry you feel for
her as she recites her marital woes.
The instinct of family loyalty is a
beautiful sentiment that should be en-
couraged in every woman's home.
One may call 1t clannishness and say
that there is no reason why men and
women should grant federation on the
score Of blood: that there is no real
reason why a man should not tell the
world that his brother is a blackguard
just as If he were a stranger. but the
fact remains, just the same, that any
man or any woman with an ounce Of
pride will keep mis- or her family skele-
tons under lock and key.
Does Not Apply to Family.
The rule Of silence is not a necessary
one in the family circle, as 1 have in
some cases seen 1t observed.
Reserve with ones own kin has its
possibilities of harm.
A certain young woman Of my ac-
Quaintance married a man whose charm
ing veneer of affability and social polish
covered a nature so narrow and small
that it would have been impossible to
have imagined It in seeing the man out
side of his home.
For four years she suffered insult and
neglect, shielding her husband even
from the eyes of her own kin. ANY
criticism of him by any member of her
family was met proudly with rebuff, and
the mans charm of manner, when in
the presence Of her relatives, helped his