davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
a Heard That a Week Ago."

r.children-thero are two pairs OF
sisters and q trio IN the bunch,
Granny IN fat and rich and fussy-
worehlps the girls, and scolds thcm
al the time Fumes because they
don't marry out Of hand-0nd insults
outright every man who daroB to 30
there eourting, She INDUCES the
bunch every way she can, yet she
never lets them feel their souls are
their own, Consequently they all
have tho loyoliost mNunors IN the
world-eyen II Em and Az were not
predeatined to eaptlyato you, you'd
never egeape=the whole lot are 30
exactly the sort Of thing you like"
"llow do you know Basil asked.
Lotto answered promptly, "By this
tokon-thoy arc exactly everything
am not"
Indeed" Basil said, stepping close
beside her. She smiled proyokingly,
wheroupon ho kissed her
Az gho wiped her lips ho looked 0t
her reproOehluly saying, mo girl
ever did that botoro-not right to my
face"
"You must remember, there are
girls and girls, the same os you have
been telling mo thoro arc mon ana
men," Lotto said over her shoulder,
as she ran away,
Basil looked after her. divided be-
tween an impulse to follow and kiss
her again, and TO swear at himself
roundly as n fool .
lie was nvo years her elder and
seen the world 0t all angles, more.
over was college bred, and mast0r
Of tho art Of Irritation, He had come
fortnight back 70 SEQ his fathers
people=his father who had died, IN
tho year he was born, Ills mother
had mNrF Vi again, and herself been
drowned ! 'ng with her new husband
upon thel jeidlng Journey II wpa
thus Bash had come into 80 much
money Hlv steptather had made him
hla heir, nd leaa his mother lie had
stayed WITH her people, quito apart
from the t,inga Formal letters had
eeme yeaFy from his bachelor uncle
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
aerIpturAl Nomenclature.

England possesseB remarkably
largo number Of scrIptural place
names From stOtIstIcs recently la
sued we see that tho names Of Jericho
occurs dix times on the OrdnaneC
maps, Paradise hye times and Nno
yoh, Mount Zion, Mount Ararat and
Mount EphrOm throo tlmos each, m
Bodrordshlro thoro la u Calvary Wood
and In Dorsetahlro u Jordan I'M
Hampshire has n Land Of Nod, Cam
bridgeahre Noah's Ark, and Worees
terBhfe a Moabs WaBh-pot Other
scrlptural names scattered about The
country are Hebron, Joppa, Bethlo
hem, Jerusalem, Gideon and Ilorod
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
ElenhAnt Can't Iumn.

"There Is one thing no one has ever
seen an elephant do olthor In u cir.
Gus or out Of IT, and that Ia to jump"
said u hooper In the menogcro.
"Tho fact Ia an elephant cannot jump,
because Of his great weight ho cannot
take all four feet off the ground at
once, llo can make u lOOyard dash at
the rate Of 20 miles an hour, which Is
going some, but II he was pursuing an
enemy and came to deep ditch olght
feet across he would have to stop, be.
cause II is too wide for him TO step II,
and he Ia unable to jump, An ole.
phont IL great coward ho win have
a ft II rabbit runs between his feet.
lie has tremendous strength, but he
doesn't know It."
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
Boy Lassoes a Dog.

were bitten before the animal was
killed.
The dog first appeared In tho high
class neighborhood at Ross street and
Bedford avenue, whore II did a whirl-
Ing dogglsh stunt, indicating that II
might be mad or at least keen suf-
fered from noas or any one Of hun
dred flts neglected CANNES get A
man told the Clymer street police that
II they wanted to save Williamsburg
from an epidemic Of hydrophobla they
had better get on the job and corral
tho dangerous beast
Lieutenant Lyman picked two OF
his best pistol shots Policemen Geo,
Bender and John Stantowt2, They
chased their quarry TO Ross street and
Lee ayonuo. Soon 100 men were chas-
Ing the dog, the policeman trying
hard to get a shot at the beast but
not daring to fre for fear Of hitting
somebody,
The dog wound up In doorway at
173 Division avenue, A council Of war
was held, and whIlo II was on four
boy scouts appeared One Of them
had his mothers clotheslno made
into n laBso
"GIyo me that rope, sonny" said
Policeman Bender
"What for?" asked the boy, drawing
back.
81 want to lasso that dog" said tho
cop
want him laesocd, sure2" asked
the scout, ot once coillng his rope,
Thon before tho ostonishod officer
could say n word he skIllrully whlrled
the line and dropped II neatly over
tho yolpIng dog
Tho police finished the Job,
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
Canada al The
Chicago Land Show
WILL MAKE A MAGNIFICENT EX
HlBlT OF GRAINS AND
GRASSES, VEGETABLES
AND FRUIT.

"A carload Of grain In straw, grasses
and other Of the products of Western
Canada arrived at Chicago the other
day, and Is now installed in the
Coliseum, where the United States
land and irrigation exposition is under
way Those who are interested IN
the Back to the land movement" will
find in the Canadian exhibit one OF
the best displays of the agricultural
products OF Western Canada that has
a.ever been made. There are repre-
entative men there, who will be
pleased to give the fullest information
n ogardlng the country,
The exhibit shows what can be
done on the free grant lands Of that
country and most of the grain was
produced on the farms Of former resi-
dents Of the United States who have
taken advantage Of the homestead
lands Of Manitoba, Saskatchewan and
Alberta.
The vegetable exhibit will attract
a great deal Of attention, and some
marvellous potatoes, carrots, turnips,
cabbage and caulhower are shown,
1t Is true that the homestead area
is being rapidly taken up and the
bulk Of that now to be had lies north
Of the Saskatchewan river In a por-
tion Of the country known as the park
country, Here there Is a large guam
tity of open prairie interspersed by
beautiful groves Of poplar and willow.
Water Is in abundance, hay is plenti-
MI and consequently fodder for ami.
pinals Is right at hand. Those who
have taken advantage Of farming in
these districts and watched the efforts
OF those in the prairie proper feel
that they have the advantage Of their
brother, who Is not able to secure fuel
and the other conveniences Of the
park district on his own farm.
The crop conditions throughout
Western Canada the past year have
p generally good and some won.
l,erful crop yields Of wheat, oats and
barley are recorded The Canadian
Government, under whose auspices
the exhibit spoken Of is being made,
Is preparing reports on crops in the
different Western Canada districts,
and while these will not be ready for
distribution at the land show COM
mencing on the 18th Of November
and closing on Dec. 9Th, application
made to tho Canadian Government
agent nearest you will bring them to
you as soon as they are published.
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23

What shall do with you? You
are simply dreadful" Lotte eJacu'
lated, looking severely at Basil
He tipped the ash from his cigar
with extreme nicely, as he answered:
Don't know-unless you marry me.
| heard we were engaged at the post
Office yesterday"
"Sluggard! | heard that a week
ago, at least" Lotte flung back at
him, laughing softly
Basil looked injured. And you
never told mel" he murmured.
Lotte shrugged family. Il would
only there was no danger" she said.
Even If | wanted you ever so badly.
Uncle Joseph and Auntys Beth and
Margaret would all protect you. They
don't want the King heirs consoli'
dated-not a bit of it. Told me fatty
before you came"
Indeed Why didn't they warn
me?" Basil asked, his tone more than
ever injured
Again Lotto laughed. "Oh, they
couldn't think Of you as in danger, "
she said, you see, we know what n
lady.killer you are-then, too, you
have so much money-quite too much
to think Of wasting yourself upon a
lanky country girl"
you are not a bit like my dream
girl" Basil admitted she has wheat
yellow hair, eyes OF corn-iiower blue
and not an angle IN her form or In
her temper. You are-well?-tall and
slender"
And brown OF hair, with green
eyes, and all the angles outside
geometry" Lotte broke in, her eyes
dancing their wickedest "Fm 80 glad
you told me your ideal though" she
went on I'm going to take you to
SEQ lt--in duplicate, tho Dale twins
Emma and Agnes. You'll have to see
the whole flock, Of course-but they
are the chief Of our sights-the seven
prettiest girls In the county"
"Sevenl Good Lord! can't face a
whole platoon Not without getting
more life insurance." Basil cried, pre-
tending to gasp Cant manage tt
the insurance-over the phone? ]
believe, though, you are strlngng me-"
would | were!" Lotte said mock
tragIcally "Then-well shouldn't
live in deadly fear Of spinsterhood.
You see, It is this way-Granny
Dales sons are all dead, and all left
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
Girl Shoots Bear

Of tho guests She had proceeded 10
miles when she sighted bear IN tho
trail coming toward her She shouted,
thinking that the animal would take
10 tho bushes, but instead It eohtlh'
ued 10 advance She opened lro
After several shots tho boar left
the trail, giving her tho right Of way,
when she reached the place where
the bear took to the bushes abe found
blood and on investigation she found
the animal n few yards from the trail
lylns dead m result Of ono OF her
ehols
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
Morn Rnaianrani Mnnle.

"Ah, nolseless soup spoon for
newlymado malefaetors OF great
wealth"
mot aol" replied tho inventor, who
contrary to the usual rule, was In
tensely practical "They would moi
use such a utensll II they had t. This
Ia n soup spoon with n harmonloa at
taohment, upon which almost amy
tuno can be played Every diner hlt
own Hungarian orchestra, you see
Great Ideal Go like wiidhre, Eh
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
S.7s$~-s>R - ~S~s1E1~~1
Another Sort of Girl
By MARTHA McCULLOCH- WILLIAMS
Copyright, 1911, by Associated Literary Press)

swered as formally, In such fashion
he had known Of Miss Charlotte
Kings existence, but he had never
dreamed of her as factor In his fu.
ture when a sudden whlm moved him
to come back to his fathers native
county
Now, she was lithely angular; she
had freckles and opinions both de-
cided. Moreover she had no rever-
ence for him, for anything masculine
1t appeared. Uncle Joseph even was
her playfellow, Notwithstanding the
rest of the world saw him starch
and downright parsonage She was
certainly the life and soul of things
there in the old homestead It had
been borne in upon him further that
she was a coquette Of the first water;
not a malicious one, but in a merry,
sprite-like fashion, At first the thought
Of 1t had amused him greatly Lat
terly, he had been finding out that she
was indeed when she chose to be, a
worker OF charms.
They rode to the Dale place at a
headlong gallop, The afternoon was
heavenly-air like wine went to the
head. Basil tried hard to say things
as they rode, but Lotto would not
listen. She was in her widest spir.
its-and managed as soon as they
were In the big, dim parlor to get
Basil anchored betwiXt Emma and
Agnes, while she herself sat at merry
gossip with Granny, the other five
listening in mute admiration.
Basil yearned to listen, too--any.
thing would be better than the pair
painfully entertaining him. They were
Just through reading the latest and
tritest best seller" and eager TO
show the stranger how much they
had got out Of It.
II loved the book It is Just like
Lotte-the love part, you know" Az
mes gurgled at length,
Basil looked politely puzzled, you'll
have to explain" he said 81 have
neither read the book nor heard
Lotte's love story"
"Why-you know-that is--Amabel
just has to marry her-her rich cous'
In" Emma stammered,
"And he was perfectly horrid, and
he ran away with pedlar-and he
turned out to be college professor
In disguise" Agnes added eagerly
Basil laughed heartily, yet could
not help flushing "I'm her cousin
and horrid enough, ! admit" he be-
gan.
At once Emma and Agnes were GOV.
cred with confusion, "Do excuse usl"
they cried In breath We've for.
got-and It was so-intoroBtng-
Ing people just like those IN the
book"
"But-sho doesn't have TO marry
me, not unless she choosesl" Basil
said apologetically-ho really felt
quito guilty Just then there was n
check In the gossIp--his words car.
ried all the length Of the suddenly
silent room. Granny caught them
she looked hard at Basil and rumbled
at him,
That's all you know, young man,
She'll never get such another chance
trust her not to miss It. Charlotte
is the only girl | know with moro
sense than a goose"
Lotto-what do you say?" Basil
demanded, getting up and stridng to.
ward tho group at tho other end OF
the room,
Lotto looked up at him, n sldo,long,
birdllko glance, and said demurelyI
"lye bcen too well brought up, Cous.
in Bash, over to contradict my
elders"
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
LASSOES A MAD DOG
WITH A CLOTRESLINE
Boy Scout Captures Animal
Chased by Police and a
Big Crowd.

New York.-Seyeral hundred men
and women on the Williamsburg plaza
of the Williamsburg bridge had ter
rifying experience when big yell
low and white mongrel dog ran yelp'
ing and swapping into the crowd, fol-
lowed by two policemen with revolv'
ers, who stopped every few feet, took
aim and seemed about to fire, The
crowd was uncertain which was the
more dangerous, the dog or the arm
ed cops chasing It. Three persons
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
KILLS BEAR on LONELY TRAIL
Girl In Her Teens Has Battle
with Bruln and Comes or
Victorious.

Port Townsend, Wash-on lonely
mountain trail IN Clallam county
Miss Mary SehmItz, girl In her
teens, had battle with bear In
which she camo out victorious Miss
schmll2 waa employed at tho Hotel
Merrymoro, and decided 20 visit her
parents who lived 30 miles away
She started out on the journey oloot
armed with revolver, loaned by ono
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
Proved,

Orator. thought your paper was
friendly to meY
BdItor=So Il IN, what's tho matterY
Orator. made speech at the
dinner last night, and you didn't print
a line Of It,
Edltor=Well, what further proof do
you want7-L0ndon Opinion,
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23

DR., Pcrcos Pleasant Pellets regulate
and inyigoratc stomach, liver and bowels.
Sugar'eoated, tiny gronulea, easy to take
AA candy,
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23

birs, wihslows Soothing Syrup for children
teethlng, s0flehe the gums, reduces innammh
tion, allAys pain, cures wind cole. goo bottle.
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23
anaea,

TeAoher-'rommie, what Is tho fu
ture Of ~ glye7"
Tommle--"You take, Life.
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23

Tho bright side In sure to DO tho
right side, MARY D. Brine,
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23

De happy, Uso Red Cross Ball Bluoi
much better than liquid blue, Delights
tho hundress. All gf0eofs.
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23

Don't 10 with tho crowd Just bo.
cause II IN n crowd,
The Harrison times., 1911-12-23

Tho Talkor-I tell you no man has
got u right to be sick nowadayBl
The Jokor-You'vo evidently been
reading somo patont medicine adver.
tisemonts.
The Washington times., 1911-08-26

trimonial venture was no bloomer
though, and she doubled with Howell
Anderson, known as the king of dudes
This little affair was kept secret cause
his papa and mamma swore they'd dis
inherit him If he married an actorine.
He didn't wake one morning and the
executors slipped Fay one hundred
thou according TO the terms Of his
will"
That London Episode
Wasn't there an episode in London
that got into the papers?" asked the
S. S
There was, kid" answered the s.
D. K 1T was more than an episode,
1t was an international occurrence
But, anyway, she put the Indian sign
on the censor and was allowed to sing
her song without wearing her sash"
How long have you known her?"
asked the s. S. Y.
Il never knew her at ALL" confessed
the S. D. K. But hers was the first
picture I ever nailed in the top Of my
trunk. 1t came in box OF Old Judge
cigarettes. Now you know how old /
am"
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
ACCORDING TO SAMMY

gerls taking up the rest OF the room,
sum of them setting avn the floor and
sum of them setting avn Charcs, de-
pending avn wiCh got thare furst.
Soak him Pudge. sOag him Fudge,
the fellos startid to yell. and Benny
pownded avn the tabil TO stop the fits
a mint. and sed Ladys and gentilmen.
l don't think its fare fer everybody
to cheer for the wife hope, so the geTls
will pleeze cheer Tor Jack Johnson.
Id rathir have the gerls cheer for me.
sed Fudge Simkins, who is stuck avn
gerls, but enyhow. they cheered for the
koon, like Benny sed. and the boys
chee-ed for Fudge Slmkins.
Pownds Agen
Benny was Jest pownding the tabil
for the fifteenth rownd to begin wen ths
setting room dear oplned and thare
was pop and ma. and they looked mad
awl rite. seeing Benny pownding avn
the tabil with pops umbreller and 20
fellos and gerls setting GROUND and
Pudge and the keen puntching eetch
othir IN the noze.
You childrin go hoam Immediately,
sed ma. and they did. and pop sed.
Sammy. KUN up to my room, want
to see you, and I did.
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
she HOLDS IT UP TO THE
NeiShborhood Watch Woman

wouldn't do IT. OF course. you would
not. 1t might take you from your
observatory just when the Minuses
were having that big ice cream
freezer delivered at their door And
that would shorten your daily ga
zette. reporting the neighborhood
happenings. 1t would rob you Of
an excuse to call down to Miss Minus
as she passed that you knew they
were having company because you
saw the ice cream come"
II you could take your mind of your
observing for a while, you might be
able to imagine the indignation with
which you are regarded. You are Mrs.
Know-An. You are too smart" You
are catalogued by the boys Of the COM
munity whose innocent-or otherwise
depredations you never fail to see. as
Mrs. Rubberneck.
Fervid Rejoicing
When Mr.. Minus happens to.exchange
a bit of repartee with bright little
Mrs. Cipher, you make them both feel
like the cat must that was caught at
the cream. A sense Of guilt over
whelms them, where, until they knew
you were watching. there was nothing
but the wholesome expression Of good
feeling. They freeze up into conven-
tional clans. The whole part of your
street that comes under your eyes
when they are doing full duty with the
aiding and abetting of your well-devel-
oped neck-gets grouchy and disagree
BILE because you are always aloft at
your post, seeing things that are none
OF your affair. When you got that
slight sunstroke from exposure at your
window there was a general and fervid
rejoicing at the wisdom Of OLD SOL
THEY ONLY REGRETTED HIS
LICK OF THOROUGHNESS!
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Something in That;
Or, Ais Not Lost

mo, Kismet," she reiterated. my
ultimatum is. nav. I could never bring
myself to marry a man with a bald
head Think of the disgrace"
But, Mercedes" he pleaded, Il have
two million dollars in my own right.
one million in my left, three automo-
biles and am half owner Of a moving
picture parlor."
Inducements enough. ordinarily" she
firmly, but think Of your
bald head. No, don't think Of it,"
Mercedes he sobbed, Il will buy
YOU a Paris dressmaker, body and soul"
Ugh" she shuddered. That bald
headI'
But Mercedes, while / admit 1t Is
bald, look at the color Of 1t. 1t just
matches your ineffable complexion
After a moments reflection. she mur-
INJURED. thoughtfully. well, I'll think
I over"
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Our Grocery Clerk
Says, 'Oof, That Kid

believe that errand boy of ours is
the only one of his kind in the world.
Ever hear of Jake Cinder? Well, for
four years Jake has wasted his sub
stance in riotous betting. That man
couldn't see a horse without betting
on 1t, If he had to lend somebody the
money to bet with. He swallowed every
tip that was handed to him.
His grandmother had gone the way of
all grannies and left him five thousand,
and now, with just five hundred bones
left, he's decided that whoever hands
him a tip after this is going to be shot
on sight. He was in yesterday talking
for an hour about it. No more tips
for Jake! He's going into business and
he's through with tips.
And what does that errand boy do but
deliver four cans of asparagus TIPS
to him this morning! There goes an
other customer-look out for the
stick!
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
THE STAGE DOORKEEPER

An what do you know about Fay
Tehpleton coming back for a Pinafore
tdate?" asked the stage-struck youth,
- he wandered out from an early re-
hearsal
An why not?" ventured the stage
doorkepper, who liked to answer one
question by asking another one "She
hasn't graced the boards since 1896,
when the Weberfleld combine ton de-
cided to split. But she's always been a
broth Of girl and they do be teIlin'
me that at the early age Of three she
did a song and dance as Cupid. hate
to tell you when that was. but II was
just three years after General Lee
made General Grant a little present
Of cutlery at Appomattox
Original Child Wonder
, "she was the original child wonder,
and between the tender ages of 3 and
s she toured the country with her
fathers company. but didn't become
q worldwide celebrity until she played
Puck In "A Midsummer Nights
Dream And, believe me. kid, she
was some Puck. By the time Of the
centennial in Philamadelphia she was
"a tull-hedged actorine, and some ten
Years before your father met your
mother she had EN- all gotn' when she
appeared as the original 'Bettina in
The Mascot Kid, you don't know
what you missed by bein' born so late
IN life
The marryin' bug bit Fay and she
signed a life contract with Billy West,
the minstrel. and then gave notice a
couple of months later. Her next ma
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Loretta's Looking Glass

inspection while your mind is busy
conjecturing the why Of the retreat.
You are so afraid that you will
miss something that you cut short
your meals and neglect the baby.
You are utterly mad on the question
of supervising business that Is not
your own II you had to work as
hard and give as steady attention to
any useful pursuit you would think
yourself awfully ill-used. AS 1t is,
your neighbors think themselves
abused by your continued scrutiny
When Mrs. Zero shakes her rugs
she has the feeling that you are
watching and wondering why she
doesn't hire some one to do it You
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Pownds the Tabil
Dipped Direct
From the Well
ENGLISH Joke FOR TODAY

Usually Solly Motzaberger had a
sunny temper, but he couldn't keep
IT when he lost at solo; and last Sun
day. at Gluckstein's. where they
cleared him out, he got properly
ratty.
cheer up, Solly," said Gluckstein'
'.or is 1t that ye don't feel well?
II feels like Lazarus did on Vun
occasion" answered Solly.
What occasion vas that?"
When" roared Solly, he Vhas
licked by plurry dogs"
And, VOW, q gershrei was there
The Pink I'm.
The Washington times., 1911-08-26

THERE you are at your post. You
have even put a pillow on the
window sill so that you will be
more comfortable IN your self-appointed
position as the chieftainess Of the rub
bernecks. Lying half out Of our win
dow. you keep wary eye on every
thing and everybody that comes and
goes along the street. You note that
Mrs. Blank runs into Mrs. MIS- at
least three times a day. It's none Of
your business, you know, II she chooses
to take the contents of her refrigerator
and stay to lunch. But wouldn't you
nearly fall out of the window II she
did it. You would pry. with your glance.
under the lid that covered the cold
beans and you would investigate with
your eagle eye Just what the reception
was when the beans and the bearer ar
rived at their destination
The Washington times., 1911-08-26
Aggravatingly Active Optics

When Mr.. Naught comes from the
car you are in sight. He knows he
Is. too. 1t makes him feel like be-
coming the owner Of one of the weap-
oas with which he brought havoc as
boy. He would like to hide behind
the fence, and, when you are craning
your elastic neck to see who Mrs.
Cipher is walking up from the avenue
with, he would enjoy bean shooting at
your aggravatingly-active optics.
It's not that people want to do any
thing they do not want you to see.
It's just the fact that you make your
self a kind of supervision committee
of one to keep tab on the whole COM
munity about that riles them. It's
irritating to know that one cannot
pass along the street without being
seen by you. It's embarrassing to dis
cover that something is forgotten, and
return must be made under your