davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

A+AA@ = ~ \ y y \ = 4
\ DEFINITIONS OF LIFE. =
= \ ~ y y + \ y y y + y = y =
C'Linkman,' in London TRUTH
The following definitions of life have
been obtained with considerable diff
ficulty:
A spendthrift peer writes:
Life is an interval of debt occas-
ionaIly relieved by bankruptcy.
a British laborer writes:
Life is an interval of work eyentu-
ally reliyed by the workhouse.
A territorial magnate:
Life is an interval of dissipation
occasionally eliminating in dys-
pepsia."
A politician:
Life is an interval of INSCRIPTIONS
ness eventually rewarded with Office.
|
! la sportsman:
Life is an interval of risking youl
neck to save your liver"
|
A courtier:
life is an interval of effort seldom
ionally rewarded with distinctions"
A social celebrity:
Life is an interval of pretense &c
casionally eliminating in exposure
|
A man of merit:
Life isc an interval of effort seldom
rewarded with success"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30
Rheumatism Relieved in Six Hours.

DR.. DETCHON'S RELIEF FOR
.HBUMAT1SM usually relieves sever
est cases in a few hours. It's action
upon the system is remarkable and eff
fective. 1t removes the cause and
the disease quickly disappears. First
dose benefits. 75c and $1.00. Sold by
Eldridge Drug Co.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

The Griffin News and Sun pointedly
observes: IAN exchange has discover
ed that Lillian Russell is soon to take
a fourth husband, but neglected to
state whose.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30
Attractive.

Kind Gentleman-If you are of good
family how came you in this sad
plight?
Beggar CONDEMNATION see, when
was a sprig of a boy our family tree
got struck by lightning and l was 50
attractive it struck me harder than the
other branches.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Blobbs-"A woman can generally hit
the nail on the head" Slobbs-"Yes,
but generally more successfully with
an argument than with hammer"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Bilks--Why do you bury YOUR face
in that joke book?
Dilks-It's the best thing that's been
in it for weeks.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Nell-"Maude boasts that she always
has man at her feet" Believes,
I've noticed her shoestrings are always
coming united"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30
Sells.

Small Boy-Father, what are padded
cells?
Father-Fashionably dressed people
who appear to be what they are not
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Benath this mass of greening sod
Doth Brother Bill abide;
He drank from public drinking cups
And died a germicide.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Bobbs-When shall we three meet
again?
Dobbs-When the hurdy gurdy's
done and the moving pictures run.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

There is quite a difference between
the man with long head and the one
who PUSHES into things headlong.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

There's one consolation-this record
breaking hot weather will ripen black
berries and watermelons.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

1t takes an amateur photographer to
convince a woman that truth is more
terrible than fiction.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30
A Leader.

Smith-What does Hindu prizes
have to do?
homestead the sacred "bull."
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

No, Maude, dear, we have never
heard that swallowing a needle would
give one a stitch in the side.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

The heat of the past week will yet
blush on the cheeks of the Georgia
peach.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30
Fanatic.

Bill-Why on earth did you rent q
house way out here?
WilI-Because you can see the base
ball games from the attic.
Bill-in other words, you have {
'fan-attic."
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Merchant-Why do you say adver-
tise only in the bugle?
Clever lAd Man-Because this is an
"ad-age."
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

1t takes a conscientious man to en-
joy his work if the pay is small.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Too bad, the extra session has beer
forgotten.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30
Peculiar Sequence.

Tramp-Who lives here?
Lady-Mrs. Ham. What do you want
Tramp--A ham sandwich.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

The sweet girl graduate may breathe
a sigh of relief.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Mexico may yet become as stable as
water.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Begin saving coupons In Grand
Subscription Contest. Coupon ON Page
Five.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Self praise is almost as valuable as
the other things you get for nothing
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Where the daises bloom at night
the roof garden.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Maybe the mercury will rest DIT
after working overtime.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30
FOR SALE!
Ds W AAA4AG OhDs
526 Cotton Ave.

80 acres in city limits, good dwell
ling, all good land e. E. E. $5,25000
Fine dwelling in edge of city limits
with eight acres of good land $4,000
20 acres wooded and on the Leslie
road, close in at a bargain.
Six room house on Church street
Five room house on Jefferson
street -. ,ZOO.OO
2,10O acres level fine land, ten hous
es, ten-horse farm in cultivation.
Pebbly soil clay subsoil. 1000 per
acre. Railroad being built near the
property. All good land
1900 acres land, we'll improved. two
miles of small town. Property on pub
lie road. $3.50 per acre.
470 acres of land, two dwellings, 3
tenant houses, 8 barns, red and gray
land, clay subsoil, all level, ten miles
of town. $4,000 per acre.
Many other good propositions.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30
Americas, Ga, May 30, 1911.

\ \ + y y \ \ \ = \ \ = I : = = =
\ THE WORKOUT GRIP. =
%%A%+++ \ 4 = = = = \
Oh, manys the trip
We've taken, old grip,
But you now to the attic | send,
For you're tattered and torn,
You're ragged and worn;
Like ali travellers, the journey must
end
I'll stow you away
Where you'll peacefully lay,
Not relic, but comrade OF old,
Like a face on the wall
The past you'll recall,
And many old pleasures unfold.
Oh, many's the trip
We've taken old grip,
In weather foul and fair,
Der hill and dale
In the wintry gale
That shivered the forests bare.
Yet you're the emblem of ways,
Of bright sunny days,
OF golden sunsets of May,
Where the ripping stream
Would recall an old dream,
And the hooking bird sang far away
Oh, many's the trip
We've taken old grip,
In silent watches of night,
When the stars shOne down
On a slumbering town,
Leaving landlords welcoming light.
But now old grip,
'Tis the end of the trip,
But the end is for you, not me,
For l must travel along
With the same old song,
But my song shall merrily be.
Like a comrade of old,
Like a tale that is told,
We are at length the shadowy past,
But let our works be so
When the time comes to go
Our records will hold till the last.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Dawson is up in arms against booze
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30
OFFICIAL ORGAN:

City of Americas.
Sumter County.
Webster County.
Railroad Commission of Georgia For
Third Congressional District.
U. S. Court Southern District OF
Georgia.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-05-30

Georgia peaches are on the move.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
Killing is WEIL SUITED.

Now tina Hanlon of Baltimore has
declared he docs not care to become
manager Of the Boston Nationals
baseball men are predicting that John
Killing will he the new manager of the
Boston Nationals. displacing Fred
Tcnncy who has already signed a
contract for G ear IL is believed
that 1'cnney will receive his 1912
salary in full together with his re-
lease. Killing, who made a big repu-
taticn as catcher of the Chicago Cubs,
was traded to Boston last year and
caught good ball. Hut ii is said that
all along he wanted to become the
manager of the team. King, it is
thought. is qualified to assume charge
of the team. He has learned every
angle Of inside baseball. Tic is a
shrewd. level headed fellow who
thinks he knows how to handle ball
players. His long service under Man
aser Chance in Chicago has placed
him in possession of many valuable
ideas. Il he has formally asked
John NJ. Ward n James E.. Gatfney
to appoint him. \ rival for the posi-
tion is Mike Donlin, who is equally
ambitious and is highly regarded by
| Ward.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
THINKS RULI; SEVERE

John w. Ward. who makes his re-
appearance in baseball as president
Of the Boston Nationals and who was
promptly appointed to h rules com
mittee of the league in place of Eb-
bets of Brooklyn. who could not for
get his demand for IL Columbus day
game. is not satisfied with the foul
strike rule. Mr.. Ward thinks the
present foul strike rule a severe han
dicap on the pitc' er, and he thinks
the batter would have Il better chance
il only the first foul was called n
strike instead of the first two. He
also has under consideration a plan
by which the % strikes are to be
determined by the direction in which
the ball is hit. For instance. he be-
lieves it unjust for the batter to have
a strike called against him when he
hits a foul ball over the fence. He be-
lieves that foul tips should be called
strikes as ""eil as those thai Il batter
cnu'd purrosclH drive past first or
third bases.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
STARS,

New York. Dec. 21.-The xll-Amer-
lean selections are about all finished
by this time and. hardly in any cases,
do We find two men picking identically
the same teams. For instance, one
mans all-star combination contains
five Yale players: another's team had
not a single Eli on it. After all, when
YOU confess the fact Of the thing. YOU
are forced to admit that an ALL
American team means very little. be-
cause of the Uncertainty about it.
Each man has a different point of view.
and picks different kinds of players.
Our point Of view at the present
moment differs from that of all 9TH
ers. as can be seen by looking over
our selections"
Here is the first team of unbeat-
able:
Center-Pike's Peak.
Guards-Mammoth and Dinosaur.
Tackles-Pterodactyl and Steam
Shovel.
Ends-Automobile and Aeroplane.
Quarterback-1ight.
Observation-Disclosures and Light
ming.
Fullback-Pessimist.
Analysing. we find at enter ono
that lowers over all and is both sharp
and firm. No center that we know Of
could even bulge Pixies Peak. Mann
moth and Dinosaur are old -timers and
both are whoppers. The same can he
said of Pterodactyl at tackle. while his
mate on the other side Of the line.
Steam Shovel. has ii great faculty Of
making holes. through which the
backs could plunge. At ends. we have
Automobile and AerOplanc. both
speedy. There may he some criticism
of Pessimist, but nobody can deny
that he can kick. Fact Is. hat is about
all he can do. but he is a remarkably
consistent kicker.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
KOSSICK T
MATCH A DRAW

Fargo. n. D., Dec. 21-Young Kos
sick. the clever little boxer from Moor
head, who holds h reputation of
never having lost a fight, and Jimmy
Potts. champion lightweight boxer Of
h northwest and Canada, went if
teen rounds to a draw before a local
club last night.
h Minneapolis man perhaps
showed the more finish in his boxing
but kossick was strong all of the time
when 1t came to an exchange of
blows it was hard to find the winner.
In the seventh inc eighth rounds it
was give and take and no hugging per.
mitted. 1t had been agreed with Ref
cree Heffner to call a clean break and
there was nothing to mar the boxing.
Kossick manage dto get in some
telling blows on Potts body, but in
turn received several slaps on the
nose. The decision of a draw gave
genera satisfaction to the 500 fans
who witnessed the bout.
In a preliminary Kid johnson Of
Duluth, champion heavyweight wrest-
Ter OF the northwest. and Tom AL
brecht a clever heavyweight wrestler
from Minneapolis, secured a fall each
and tusseled fifty minutes for a third.
when the referee called the go a
draw. Albrecht won the first fall in
seventeen minutes with a toe hold and
Johnson the second in twenty-seven
minute swith a combination crotch
n half Nelson.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
BILL SWEENEY
STANDS THE GAIT
Says Good Ball Player Will
Forget What Bleachers
Are Saying

Cincinnati. Dec. 21-Bill Sweeney of
he Boston Nationals. Il man of five
ears experience playing with a tall
End team. said the other day that the
player who is o~vcrsensitivc to criti-
cism is hurting himself and will not
worried over what may he said about
him IT he makes a mistake.
l mad a good lesson or this sub
iect,' said Bill. ut was about three
years ago, when 1 was playing third
base for Boston. Bill Dahlen was
congregate i'll the third base bleachers
In Boston and bet on the game got
sore on Bill and could not give him
credit for anything. If he missed the
hardest kind of a chance they would
roast him numerically and would new
er see him at all when he pulled off
a good play.
They were SO unfair that 1 finally
got sore at them and bawled them out
a number of times for the remarks
they made to Bill. This turned them
against me and for a while l just
couldn't do anything right in their
eyes. If / made a tumble or a bad
throw they We're after mo fr%ot-foot
n even when I got through a game
without mistakes. they would still
hand me a few hot shots.
Learned to Ignore Them
A first they had me going, but
after a while l began to ignore them
and then l got along much better.
The experience showed me that IL ball
player is a fool to pay any attention
to what is said to him on the field
whether it Is good or bad. My advice
is not to swell up when applause is
handed out. and. above all. not to get
sore and grouchy when some of the
bugs dish o up a roast. Most of
the fans mean we'll and would rather
applaud than not.
"Of course there are a few who
are prejudiced against certain players
but the athlete who will not stand the
gaf will not be doing his best work.
The same is true of the comments in
the newspapers. There is no report
or who would not rather boost thar
knock. but you cannot expect SO many
nice things to he said about a los
ing team as about a winner. When
ever n one k a rap at me I try
to remember that the last time 1
cleaned up with a hit at the right
time h asme writer had me in the
headlines and gave me a dandy boost.
"A player who expects nothing but
boosts when he is playing baseball is
making a big mistake. He can be
sure that he will get the hand when
he is delivering the goods and the
bitter must come with the sweet. I
Try never to get sore when l am
criticised, for l know that it is deserv-
ed in nearly every case. If I play
bad ball l expect criticism. The best
way is to pay as little attention as
possible to what is said about you,
but Just go along and deliver the goods
as we'll as YOU can. 1t doesn't pay to
swell up over a good notice or get
sore over a bad one.'
Makes Him a Better Player
This sort of talks shows Just how
sensible and fair minded Sweeney is.
1t gives a glimpse of the state Of
min which has kept him playing great
ball on a tail end club for nearly five
years. Bill went to Boston during
the season of 1907. Since that time
the Beans have finished in sixth place
once and in eighth place -four times.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
Mathewson. Ed Walsh, Clark Griffith
and Tom Mccarthy.
INGRAM NOT SATISFIED

The New York Giants have won
enough games in Cuba to assure them
OF the series. having COPIED seven u
or twelve which ale to he played on
from the start that he would win the
series. and took particular pains to
that end. He thought his team would
appear in a better light than did the
Athletics, Who but a few games
IN their campaign a year ago. The
Phillies. too. lost a majority of the
games played. But it must not be
forgotten that neither of the Philadel.
teams presented their full
strength whe on the trip, and also
there WAS Il disposition to take the
contests as Il joke McGraw allowed
his team to make the trip only on
condition that they present their full
men will be back in New York in a
week or ten DAYS.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
GUSTAFS0N WILL
WRESTLE POWERS
Match Is Scheduled For New
Years Night - Arrange
Christmas Openers

Gustafson, the western Canada
heavyweight champion, who will ar
rive here on Sunday in company with
Sunberg. the Canuck lightweight, has
been matched to meet Al Powers on
New Years day in this city.
Gustafson probably will referee the
Deitz-Sunberg bout on Christmas night
and 1t will be then that he will be
introduced to the Grand Forks wrest-
n fans. The. Canadian has made
good In the western provinces of the
Dominion and has a good firm grip
on the light heavyweight title.
While the local wrestling fans have
never seen him work. his name is not
unfamiliar and it is expected that
much Interest will he displayed in the
coming match here. Powers is clever
at the wrestling game and while not
a phenom knows Il few tricks that
Will puzzle the mat artist from the
northland.
AS a special attraction at the match,
Kid Willetts will put on n wrestling
exhibition in which his opponent will
be Jack" the wrestling bear.
Deftz.Sunbcrg Isrcliminarics,
While no definite arrangements have
been made 1t is expected that some
rather classy preliminaries will be Of
fered on Christmas night. Powers and
Wtlletts may give an exhibition and it
is probable that Farmer Jahns will
put on an exhibition with Eddie Smith.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
HOFFMAN TO ST. Paul TEAM.

According to a report from Indian.
apoiis immy Burke. manager of the
Indians. has peddled Danny Hoffman.
the former st. Louis Brown to Mike
Kelley. st. Paul's heady club leader.
Although George E. Lennon. owner Of
the st. Paul club, knows nothing Of
the deal II is taking little stock in
the story. Burke has informed the fans
OF indianapolis through the apers
that he has indeed sold Danny and has
received the cash for the outfielder.
Manager Kelley and Mrs. Kelley are
visiting Mr.. kelley's parents outside
OF boston and the big manager. if he
has closed a deal for Hoffman, has
not seer fit to inform his own fans Of
the purchase. The report of the Mike
O'Toole purchase was another surprise
sprung on Mr.. Lennon.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
VINCENT ORDERS
RIGID ADHERENCE
Gopher University President
Says Minnesota Will
Obey All Rules

Minneapolis. Dec. 21.-So long as
the University of Minnesota remains
q member Of the big eight conference,
a rigid adherence to the rules and the
spirit OF the rules Is to be required,
and a searching inquiry is to be made
as to the amateur standing of every
man who attempts to participate In
intercollegiate athletics of every de.
Scription.
This fact became known wednes.
day as the result of Il conference call
ed by President George f. Vincent
and attended by Helon Leach, stu
dent manager of athletics; DR. II. l.
Williams. football coach: Dr.. l.. ].
Cooke. basketball coach: Hugh Grant,
track coach. and Dennis Sullivan,
baseball coach. President Vincent
told the coaches that a strict adher-
encc to the conference rules with ref
erence to amateurism is necessary.
The coaches were informed that 1t
would be necessary for them to trans
init to tho faculty representatives full
knowledge OF my transgression of the
rules. no matter how slight, even to
the extent of any rumors of tinfrac-
tfons of the regulations. 1t is said that
1t was intimated to the coaches that
failure to comply with the policy,
would mean a severance with the ath-
letic organization at the university.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
P|LAK0FF MATCHED
WITH ORDEMANN
Big Finn and Minneapolis
Champ Will Meet
Soon

Duluth, Mimi. Dec. 21.-Henry
Ordemann. who recently Won the title
OF American champion wrestler from
the giant Jes Westergaard of Des
Moines. has been practically matched
with Fred P%ilakotf, the giant Finnish
wrestler. The tentative late Of Jam
uary II has heen set for the struggle
between the W. giants.
With the matching of Ordemann
and Fi!akoff. a match that it has re-
quired the local promoters over two
months to bring about also nm the
announcement that Sailor Jack and
John Gustafson, the boy who proved
u wonder at the last big athletic show
at the auditorium, will meet in "a fin
ish match.
Gustafson has agreed to make the
middleweigh: limit, 15S pounds. and
says in his W quiet way that he can
defeat the marine. Jack isn't saving
a word. but the friends of the little
waterman and those who are saying
that Jack is a dead one. are going to
sec a different wrestler when he steps
on the mat For his next contest.
Jack and Gustafson will wrestle on
test should be a hummer from the
start. GIstafson is a novice who has
suddenly sprung into fame. He looks
to he q conner The little marine is
working like a trojan to get in great
shape for Gustafson. for he will have
to defeat this man before he can meet
Suter, who is camping on the trail of
the local man.
Ordemann will come to the head of
the lakes with the prestige of a VIC
tory over Cutler and Westergaard.
Never has the big Norsk been going
as he has the present winter. A long
rest and careful training after the set
back of a year ago has apparently
made a new man of Ordemann.
The giant Finn will probably be
placed under Il special line of training
for the mat battle with Ordemann.
Last night in the copper country the
Duluth man beat Paul Sampson. the
gigantic German who made so good
a record in Chicago last winter. The
big II is showing improvement and
is today n of the toughest Of the
heavyweight brigade.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-12-21
TWO R
WEN BACK JOBS

Cincinnati. Dec. 21.-Player Gar
land c'Jake") Stahl. who has been
mentioned as the probable manager of
the Boston American league team
next season was reinstated without
the infliction of a fine by the national
baseball commission in a decision pro-
mulgated Wednesday.
Stahl violated n rule Of the COM
mission by failing to report during the
season Of 1911 to the Boston Ameri-
can league club. to which he was UNI
der reservation.
In his application for reinstate-
ment. Stahl stated that while he re-
tired from baseball last spring to go
into business. he now desired to re-
join the Boston team.
Harry Smith. who played with the
Brooklyn team. also was restored to
good standing without having to pay
., line. Smith was suspended for leav-
ing the service OF Brooklyn last spring
without the permission of any of it's
officials. Smith said he was anxious
about the condition of hts wife, who
was Ill and that he wished to be near
her.