Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-27

matter to the inventing Of proper
foods and others to the method in
which the said food should be de-
voured and in these things, as well as
in almost all others, scientists differ.
One wise guy tells US that the human
family should subsist entirely upon
urcooked nuts, another informs US
that whole grains alone should be eat
en- and still another swears that raw
flesh is the only food for mankind.
One tells us that every morsel Of food
should be chewed at least TAI times
while another advises US to bolt down
our food in huge chunks and let our
digestive apparatus chew it for US.
One tells US to drink only cold wa
ter with our meals while another let's
us into the secret that the water
should be hot and still another gives
1t out that nothing at all should be
drank while eating.
One tells US to take only cold baths
and another tells us that cold water
is slow death, one says to never
bathe before eating and another ad-
vises us to never bathe after meal.
One eminent scietist states to all
the world that to eat, unless hungry,
is to ruin ones astronomical ma
chinery and another tells US that we
should eat regularly without regard to
the demands made by the stomach,
one tells US to eat heartily just be-
fore retiring while another insists that
to 90 to bed on full stomach is sui
cidal.
We are taught to wear warm flan-
nels and we are told to go naked, We
must never let the cold strike in on
us and we must never keep the cold
out, we must carefully avoid all sud
den changes in the temperature and
we must simply pay no attention to
the weather, we must stay in out of
the rain and we must never miss an
opportunity of getting wet.
We must never take medicine and
we must dope all the time, we must
never have our appendix cut from our
interior and yet to maintain an ap-
pendix is to court sudden and painful
death, we should wear our hair long
and we should keep our hair cut short,
we should wear beard to protect our
throat and if we wear beard it will
collect germs and kill us.
We should be very saving Of our
coal because there is only coal enough
in all the world to last us more than
a few thousand years, we should hur-
ry up and visit Niagara Falls be-
cause the falls will be worn out in the
year 8742, we should drink alcohol be-
cause alcohol aids digestion and we
should refrain from drinking it be-
cause alcohol renders food indigesti-
BILE.
We should never have fire in a
living room because a burning fire
vitiates the atmosphere and we should
keep an open fire burning because a
fire induces good ventilation and keeps
the atmosphere pure and wholesome,
we should never breathe warm air and
to breathe cold air is to bid for ILL
ness.
To live a really scientific life you
must quit doing whatever you have
been in the habit of doing and do
what you have not been doing, no
matter what you have been doing and
no matter how good your health has
been, you have been living wrongly,
from scientific point of view, and
to continue is to die while to change
is to bring on sudden death, it is like
the idea Of the negro preacher who
said there were but two roads in the
spiritual life, one leading to an Awful
He'll and the other to Eternal Damna-
ton,