davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02

later, after Franklin had startled the
world by discovering electricity, q
committee Of leading Boston citizens
sought to do him honor by presenting
him with an enormous gold pot of
beans. Before the chairman of the
committee had fairly launched into
his presentation speech, Franklin
lifted one ponderous leg, kicked the
pot from the chairman's hands high
into the air, md said: "Sneeze, kid,
your brains are dusty!' This was In
1855
Hand him lemon" When Frank.
lin was editor Of the magazine later
known as the "Slatternly Sleeveless
Post" he received one day q call
from contributor who said. 7 sent
you two poems, two peaches they
were, last week, but as yet have re-
ceived no check" Franklin answered.
Your two peaches were found .
make one lemon. which I take great
pleasure In handing to you
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
Lop Off a Limb

No, I'm not a crank or q prude. I am
Just woman with sense enough to
see that every time one of us sheds
the indescribable and lovely garment
OF reserve and delicacy we lop OF limb
Of our own life-tree.
MEN HATE COARSENESS IN A
WOMAN. And I frankly own that I
esteem consideration of what the best
men like as a deep and worthy study
Tor any woman, just as regard the
ways and means Of pleasing a good
woman as splendid exercise for men. I
don't know how to say It palmer than
l have, but, at least, I can repeat 1t
another way: You cannot beat the cour-
tesan at her own game. She wins the
poor, tawdry rewards, a coin as worth
less as what she gives. But you girls
CAN win by PLAYING YOUR OWN
GAME, and the good cards are your re-
nnement, your appeal to the best Of
man and your Inspiration to his ideals
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02

or SO overtime and stand our man up
before the magistrate.
So o. course, when sees a chap so
drunk it's a shame not to give him a
com'fcrtable cell for the night, just
naturally takes him by the arm and
leads him over to Gallagher's beat.
Then, winlIin' at meself, walks around
4 bit and all of a sudden I comes
across Mr.. Drunk snorin' on one o. my
aoorsteps. A doorstep on my beat,
mean. I shook him alive and towed
i'm across to Gallagher's territory
gain, but It was no use; IN fifteen
inutes, Gallagher had brought him
ck
That's the way we've been keepin'
SUP an night. Just at present he's
"a GaiIagher's side, but I expect to
csnS across him on mine, any minute.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
The Latest From
The Land of Mirth
A COLOR TRANSITION

An aged colored man was engaged
in burning the grass of the lawn of a
young broker when the latter returned
to his home, and, thinking to have
some fun with the old man, said:
'Sambo, IL you burn that grass the
entire lawn will be as black as you
are
Oats all right. sum-" replied the
negro. Some o. desc days dat grass
grow up an be as green as youth are."-
Judge.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02

EAREST ONE:-I have washing ironing
::
D e.: q ! !: J:
II M gravely, THE dainty bits of things that
SlJ(\T/l bits heavy washboard She also explained
IN couldn't get "set" and require hard rubbing.
Doesn't that sound domestic? It's good advice,
though listened learned udious
surprise while ironing looked Marthas
the yesterday that bit of thing making trouble
begin for cookies had after that And think
always thought her cross!
Lovely Flowers Of Tenderness
Why that takes love the doors in the
peoples hearts? And do they hide the lovely flowers
bloom behind the high wals2 suppose girl
In love has asked herself the question: but that's the best of
newthe of the world makes
all akin.
Your for the and the gevng of other
Pm glad feel bit jealous because other asked
the thea though didn't and love for
plan of coming Thanksgiving day.
you dipping pretty deep
feeling and lips agaioh would be Thanks
and if it putting off that dream time
when I shall be with you for always, don't know.
today it2
You must decide dearest; / can't
The Secret Out
package you today and I'm what
will think of it have that nobody else has, and
out help And hope my eyes will smile
and keep the girl who loves and
make feel all this all this waiting and working
is worth while. Good night, dear H
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
SIZE HOLDS IT UP TO THE
GIRL WHO IS BEACHED

that are anything but modest, strutting
along the beach In bathing suits cal
culated to attract attention, and sitting
close beside a man on a rock with your
hair blowing in his face is RISKY.
You may find yourself at the end of
the summer where you have spent most
Of it--BEACHED. The girls who go to
the beach to be invigorated mentally
and physically by q play in the salty
surf seem to exhale something Of its
buoyancy and fresh charm But you
girls who make the pleasant informality,
the near to natureness Of the place, an
excuse for a kind Of flirting that bor-
ders on the indicate. that gives the
man with you q chance to suspect that
your mind needs fumigating. are in q
dangerous way.
Until She Dissolves
Every human being does pretty much
the same things. But it's the WAY OF
DOING THEM THAT MAKES THE
DIFFERENCE. There Is no reason
though there's such an enormous. num-
Der Of chances-for doing sea bathing in
any way that is prejudicial to girls
best interests. A lady can sea battle till
she dissolves: and her ladyhood not
be affected, however her embonpoint
may suffer.
And there's nothing prettier and
sweeter and more wholesomely attrac-
tive than q beautiful girl In a bath
ing suit. But, II she prances up and
down to show her beauty to the gaping
loungers, there aren't many but would
rejoice In shying clam shells at her
II their self-respect was not greater
than hers or their disgust.
No boat, abandoned by those who
amused themselves with 1t during the
summer win be higher and drier than
you. BEACHED, when the silly season
apda
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
A Few Falling
Autumn Leaves
SIRE HE WOULD

A little boy did a naughty thing the
other day. He got a hatchet and
chopped OF the tail Of the family cat.
His mother punished him severely for
the barbarous act, and then she tried
conscientiously to make him compre-
bend its enormity.
Bernard" she said. what Is the
Golden Ruler"
Do unto others what you would
have others do unto you.'" he quoted
glibly.
And did you follow the Golden Rule
when you tortured that poor cat?''
II sure did, mamma. II I had q tail
wouldn't want somebody to cut It
OFF,"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
Loretta's Looking Glass

and. consequently, his efforts for the
worth while things.
But Just listen to me when I tell you
that you cannot parade about on a
sandy beach, obviously counting physical
inspection. and succeed in making the
men who see you believe in your deli
cacy and refinement.
Oh! I am not counseling'yo to wear
a long cloak from beach to bathing
house! I am merely observing that ly-
ing around on the sand in attitudes
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02

look at their yisin cards when they call around
boy out to tell EN-, TOO busy"
Chorus girls have the right idea They're the on people
OF that allowed change their without
of suspicion sveed direction they're wise enough to take
advantage of it Maybe the
bet the fate of musical
o chorus girls the programs.
The Psychology of Chorus Names
You the that the
through whole
of havin their reviews before their
often they peek girls
and then hop for their ypewrers before the
done payn the first night realize
Belle that when as said and done the of musical
comedy depends its chorus girls
And the chorus list off with Trx We're de
Vanderbilt Gladys La Rue and FORTH the maternity
those aggregation of beautiful hapey
women" hat pack for
But the ladies of the chorus Edna Sarah
Jones' Kate Smith and the morni you're be read
that with the exception o the chorus which unusually hn
and tired lookin, the show might pass in crowd"
I'll forget Belle how absolutely refused
fellow happened Jake Stump.
bet weeks salary he'd be And him
dent he boadn Canada
Belle, he the han'somes I've eyes
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02

lou are one of the numerous SUM
Y MER GIRLS. It's a plant Of
yours that there are so many
more CT you than of SUMMER MEN.
After a somewhat careful observation
Of you at the beach, am inclined to
wonder that there are ANY summer
men, even the understood collegians or
the overdressed fioorwalkers.
Yes, I am Disguised with you. alb
solutely and thoroughly. tell you, a
LADY'S a LADY whether she's upside
down with Ter head stewing in an
African hot-pot or right side up and
bouncing IN the pillows. And, If you
cannot manage to preserve your lady
ship In a bathing suit, there is some
thing fundamentally wrong with your
brand Of ladyhood.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
Not Much

David had accompanied his mother
to church and he noticed she drop
ped penny into the contribution
plate. On the way home his mother
found fault with the sermon.
We'll, mamma" said the little fell
low. what could you expect for a
cent?r
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
The Bow Knew

ing her appearance" suggested the
caller. Well" said the little brother,
shed be a sight II she came down
without making it,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
Our Cop Says, Why
Is An Inebriate

Ys see, this street separates my beat
from Gallagher's. and neither Of us
wanted to make an arrest tonight, be-
cause, other things bein' equal, we're
boeh OF at in the mornin'. But II we
make an arrest, we got to wait an hour
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
Mystery Explained

TedI could never understand why
women object so much to taking on
their hats.
Ned-Its so hard to put them on
straight again.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
ImmortaliZationS
Of BENZ. Franklin

''Sneeze, kid, etc. Benjamin Frank
lin, In leaving Boston for Philadelphia,
in his youth. was really Influenced BIZ
his abiding hatred for the Boston
municipal dish-beans. Some years
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02

ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY
He-Of course, you know his modus
operandi7
She-Certainly not! I don't suppose
he takes her about with hinl-The Pink
Un.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
His Answer

"And now" said the teacher Of the
juvenile Sunday school class, why did
God create this beautiful world?''
II don't know" replied q bright lit
tie fellow, unless there was no one
else could do It"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
A Bargain Marriage

what on earth possessed Miss High
tone to marry the ribbon clerk?"
''She couldn't resist him, you know.
When she first met him he was at the
bargain counter" .e
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02

NOW that they've traced Handsome
Jack Geraghty's ancestry back to the
Irish kings, 1 suppose the Newport set
will stop shifting and make the best
of the elopement," said the stagestruck
youth.
Maybe So" said the stage doorkeep-
er. You never can tell. / might say
81 let Of things, but I've found out that
the guy who says the least has the
p1east to regret However, l don't mind
going on record and sayin' that If Hand
some Jack is gtvin' us the right dope
about his ancestry that makes US blood
saiafinps
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
Nix On the Spotlight

at was funny though how the
handsome young couple turned down
that vaudeville manager who offered
them a thou a week and calmly said,
Nix on the spotlight 1 dunno, but
/ think If anybody was to ask me
to take my bride and sit in a stage
box every night and let the spotlight
man have fun with me I'd take him
mp quick. And I'd be especially eager
to do and get to earnin' some money
SOS could provide my bride with
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1911-09-02
M A ME TELLS BELLE
That They Say There's
Nothing IN Name, Bot
THE CHORUS GIRLS KNOW

hats in a name, Belle? Nothin', by rights, yet a
whole lot more than there ought to be- They say
rose by any other name would smell as sweet,
but bet if they changed the name O. roses to
"skunkers' thered be whole lot less of em in
the florists windows.
In this hard world O. queer sights and funny
sounds, Belle names are like first appearance
people judge you by 'em and all the kings what
checallem can't make them change their minds.
Who ever heard of a man named Splitzenheim
bein' elected to any office whatever? Yet there
may be more than one genius by that name Belle,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
Don't Worry

over the troubles in Mexico. Leave
that to Presidents Taft, DiaZ & Co.
Let us replenish your depleted lard
ers. Let us see if we can help you.
Listen: A fresh lot of Cottage
Hams These Hams are as good in a
mansion as they are in cottage" A
lot of sound, nice, Sweet Potatoes. A
lot of nice, fresh Meal. \ new kit of
Fresh Herring. Pickles in bottles and
in keg. See our white, whole grain
Rice. Just immerse it in rich chick
Ell gravy and sick people cry for 1t.
We keep everything in Canned Goods.
Dried Fruit for pies. Cabbage and
Beans. Come and get your Seed irish
Potatoes and plant them. Best Cream
Cheese The best Molasses and finest
Syrups. Coffees, Teas and Sugar.
Best Tobaccos and Cigars. We have
a wagon load of the best Soaps, and
we have the best Washboard we ever
saw. And we have the Wash Pots to
bile the clothes.
HERNDON & GORDON.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
JOHN DEERE
CORN PLANTERS

The only perfect Corn Planter made.
Do not take our word for this, but
come and see the planter and try it
yourself. The DEERE planter Is SIM
pie in construction, has the most ac-
curate drop ever invented. and the
drive wheel is made entirely of steel.
The DEERE has the most successful
drop ever placed in the field. The
drop works on the edge-selection
principle, and is so simple that 1t is
next to impossible to get out of order.
In the matter of convenience, II Is
simply in class by itself.
We have two secondhand COLE
Cotton Planters that we will sell at
bargain. Also other Cotton Planters.
See us for Drag Harrows, Guano Plows
and everything you need on the farm.
We sell the hest labor saving farm
implements on the market.
YORK SUPPLY co.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
Ghe Cotton Market.

Yorkville, March 17-Cotton 143.
New York, March 16.-Spot cotton
closed quiet, 10 points higher; mid
ding uplands 1855; middling gull
1890: sales 1900. Futures opened
steady and closed steady as follows:
Jan. 1851: March 14.4S; April l4.4S;
MAY 14.57; June 14.41: July l4.3S;
Aug 13.S9: Sept. 1910; Oct 1915.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
J. O. WRAY.
AUTOMOBILE REPAIRING.

wv ITH all the facilities Of the ma
w chine shops Of the Neely Man
ufacturing company. long expert
ence as a machinist and special knowl-
edge Of Automobiles. offer my SER
vices for any and all kinds Of work In
lhiJ connection. Satisfaction guaran-
teed. w. M. CREIGHTON.
90 13t
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
Conversational Meeting.

There will be congregational
meeting in the Associate Reformed
church Immediately after the Sabbath
morning service for the purpose OF
considering plans of the proposed ne"
church building.
Building Committee.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
WATCH
:: REPAIRING :.

When your watch becomes halky
and fails TO do it's duty, bring it to
me. will put it in perfect condi-
ton again and make it what it ought
to be-as satisfactory a timepiece as
il was when YOU first got 1t.
CLOCK REPAIRING.
| also repair Clocks of all kinds and
guarantee all work and moderate
price.
FOUNTAIN PENS.
You need one, don't you? Most
modern folks carry a Fountain Pen.
Come in and let me show some of the
best made. l can just fit your hand.
T. w. SPEcK, The JeweIer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17

FOR MEN.

We are now showing our Spring line
Of HATS for Men and Boys and want
you to see our Hats. We have them
In STRAWS and FELTS in all the
newest shapes and at prices that range
from 10 cents to $500 each. II you
want a new head-piece you can find
what you want here. Come and let
US show you.
Boys Malaga Hats from 10 Cts. to IS
Cts. Each.
Mems large Malaga Hats, is Cts. to
25 Cts.
Mems Fine Straw Hats, stylish
shapes, all weights and sizes, 48 Cts.
to $500 Each.
Mems Felt Hats, all shapes and
sizes, IS Cts. to $500 Each.
Boys Felt Hats rs Cts. to $2.O0.
SAILORS FOR LADIES.
We are also showing a nice line of
SAILORS for the ladies, and have
choice variety Of shapes and colors,
25 Cts. and upward. Come and let
US show you.
PANTS FOR MEN.
My stock Of PANTS for men in
cludes all grades from the low priced
Work variety to the Sunday-go-to-
meeting kind, made up in the newest
patterns Of the best quality Of goods.
Mems Work Pants at 9s Cts. to.
$3.50 per Pair.
Mems Dress Pants. At $1.4S to $500
q Pair.
Boys Pants, good styles, good quail
tiles, all sizes, At 3S Cts. to $3.50 Pair.
Just remember, when you are out
shopping, that 1t is always to your in
terest to come and see my goods and
hear my prices. My goods are up-to-
date in qualities, styles and variety,
and My Prices VIII Stand the Closest
Comparison With the Prices You Find
Elsewhere. Let Me Show YOU.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
PURE BRED

wv HITE Leghorn Cockerels and
w Pullets at 50 per pair, and eggs
from any pen Of White Leghorns at
$1.OO setting Of fifteen. Address Sha-
ron, S. c.. c.. L. KENNEDY.
II TT 3m.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17

The annual meeting of the York
County Bible society will be held in
the Associate Reformed church next
Sunday evening at s o'clock. The SER
mon will he preached by Rev. j., F.
Anderson. All are cordially invited
To attend.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
CITY MARKET

wv HEN you want something good
w to eat, remember that / am not
killing anything but the finest stall fed
cattle. 1 also have all cuts Of Pork,
and pure Pork and Mixed Sausage.
Also Cabbage, Potatoes and Eggs.
C. F. SHERRER.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
FRIDAY, MARCH II, 1911.
Sperial Autires.
Az Hickory Grove.

Rev. F. NJ. Satterwhite will fill his
appointment at the Hickory Grove
Baptist church next Sunday, 18th inst.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
HELP SAVE ME

Come to Sherer's when you want
Fruits. I have Oranges, Apples and
Bananas-also Basket and Malaga
Grapes.
Sherer's Is the place to get your
Christmas Candies. have the largest
and best assortment in Yorkvlle.
l have Vegetables-such as Cabbage,
Turnips, Sweet and Irish Potatoes.
Creamery Butter. Country Butter
and Eggs at Sherer's Market.
Fresh meats all the time, such as
Beef, Pork and Sausage-Fish and
oysters on Saturdays.
l will sell you 13 pound packs Of
Soda for so cents.
1 ask all who Owe mo to Please Pay
Up, You'll be Sorry If Old George
Busts, and you can get no Credit.
They say Old George sells too cheap
Well, l guess that's partly so,
But if the people woulG only pay me up
l think Old George could go.
OLD GEORGE. The Butcher.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
MINI PARTY

A T Miss Bessie Barron's, Friday.
N MARCH 18TH, at o'clock. First
person to speak 50c.; second person to
speak, 25c.; all others speaking. lOc
Proceeds to be applied to new A. r.
p, church fund. COMMITTEE.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
FOR SALE

1OnCoCKERELS and Pullets. S.
lOOC. Rhode Island Reds, 1-year-
old. Healthy and Of good strain. First
orders, with check attached at Sl.OO
apiece. get the birds.
J. r. KILLIAN,
Box S, Yorkville, S. c.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
At the County Home.
R;bIs Society Meetino.

Rev. ]. L. oates will preach at the
County Home chapel on Sunday. 18th
inst, at $50 p. m.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
FOR SALE
SIMpKIN COTTON SEED.

n GOD. fresh Milk Cow. Address
" No. 4. Glover. A. MEEK BIG
GERS IL
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
LOUIS ROTH.
NEW BATH ROOM
W. E. Ferguson

= VERYBODY invited to enjoy a
~ luxury-a first-class bathroom
just try It once and you'll come again
and tell your friends. Price rs cents.
A first -class. up-to-date City Barber
Shop. l.. G. BABER, Prop.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
TIME TO PAY

o UBSCRIBERS to THE ENQUI-
- RER on my club are requested to
please make payment at The Enquir-
rer office at once, as it will be impos-
sible for me to see them all before eX-
piration of the time limit.
J. +. A. SMITH.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
J. M. BRIAN COMPANY
The Fancy Grocers

We have lots OF things to Eat. Chew
and Sop.
Planters Sausage,
Sausage in Oil,
Salt Herring,
Fresh Maekerel,
Cream Cheese,
Canned Goods,
Barrel PickIes-Sweet and Sour,
Barrel Molasses,
Syrup,
Sweet Corn,
Sauer Kraut,
Seed Potatoes,
Buggy Whips,
Dr.. Petty's Stock Lick.
]. M. BRIAN COMPANY.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17

81 All kinds of Typewriter Ribbons
at The Enquirer Office.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17

STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA,
County Of York. IS.
Before me came JAS. A. Page,
Cashier Of the above named bank, who,
being duly sworn, says that the above
and foregoing statement is true con-
dition of said bank, as shown by the
books Of said bank.
JAS. A. PAGE.
Sworn to and subscribed before me
this 18th day of March, 1911.
]. P. SIFFORD,
Notary Public, South Carolina.
Correct Attest:
2. E. Clinton,
M. 1. Smith,
8. A. Sifford,
Directors.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
AFTER APRIL 1ST, 1911

ID P. PINNAKER, an expert horse.
ID. shoer and wood workman. will
occupy my shop on York street IN
Sharon. Prompt attention to all Gus
toners. Your patronage Will be ap-
preciated. >. b. FhAl L.
81 1T OF
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17

~ I'VE bushels or less, s1.00 per
II bushel. over five bushels, 80 cents
a bushel. ROBERT WlTHERSPOON.
Yorkville, S. c.
1T II
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17
TIME TO PAY

A LII subscribers to THE YORK
n VILE ENQUIRER on my club
will please settle at once. either with
me or at The Enquirer office.
A. w. MCFARLAND.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-03-17

HERNDON & GORDON.