The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-30
Bill Vines On Oscar Underwood

This-Mistur Edditur, and Ladies and Gentlemen, also feller citizens, this tall handsum man lowing to US in the lime lite, and evvery other old kind of lite that there is, and then sum, is-not Mistur Appoller, or enny of the Appoller fami- ly, it is Mistur, the rite Honerabul, Hon. erabul Osker Underwood, congressman at large frum the Birmingham district, and incerdentally Chairman of tho Ways and Meens Committee of the Nasional House of Representatives of Washing ton, D. C., otherwise, sumtimes affexion- ately known amung sum of his menny admiring trends as Lord High Under wood". Now say what you sed
 The Sed Oslxer, fer your informasion Ladies and gentlemen, has been perform ing in the big show fer long long time, but this is his first seesun as a star, and Osker as he has always dun, is making the verry most there is of his opportuni- ty Up to this brite and particular mo-
 ment Osker has been playing second or third fiddle in a small but eminently re- spectibul minority, but last Nov. the pee pull suddenly and quite unexpectedly told the large and brutal majority that this was there stasion, and to git off, and the fame for which Osker had been striving for for so long had cum.
 Do not deceive yourselves by the name, 1 feller citizens, we know that Osker sounds like "mommers pet or one of the
 Rah. Rah boys of Tuscaloosa, but you can't always tell, Osker didn't name himself, this name was probably handed
 him by sum misguided relative who nev- yer dreemed of him becuning a states fts ITillander, and Lord High Evvery Thing
 Elise is named Filander-but, he's a re- publicon and don't count. at least not in Champ Clark's little show.
 Now yeers and yeers ago when Osker
 was breef and breefless lawyer the op- pertunity came for him to go to con-
 gress and Osker grabbed sed opportunity round the neck like he was a long lost hruther, and has been swinging rife there evver since, he has been going so long until it has becum habit with him. Now Osker is terryby and deeply interested in the High prise of living
 Not that it is enny thing to Osker per
 sunally-not at all, for Osker with grate foresite sum time ago drew the capt al
 prize in the mattrymonial lottery, aud
 marryed hlost charming lady who ir- serdentaly had enough stocks, bonds and
 sundry loose change to creemate wet
 steer, and so the High prise of living l looks like Fuss Erwin to Osker but
 evvery time he thinks of it in conneesion
 with his constituency he weeps large
 ieers of reel sorrow and grabs club
 and knocks the bark off the shins Of | Unkle Joe and his cohorts.
 | .Now Osker is the avowed Champyon
 of the Common peepul and in the Champ
 bisness Osker yeelds to no man. and .,o
 one not evven Champ Clark, has eeny 1 thing on him, but the helofitis, there air
 a few uther kind of peepul in Osker's dis | trict besides common" aforesed, and 1 these few mentioned air now and often l throwing things at Osker. and putting l thorns in his crown of roses and tafls l in his seat as Chairman of the Ways anI Meens Committee. and in various and sundry manners trying to make things exceedingly hot for Osker.
 But there is positively nuthinen ndoing gentlemanly manner fonveys unto them