davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
Crowded Out.

whats the matter?, Didn't Mabe
succeed on the stage?y
mo; she says the stage is so cluttered
up with bum professionals that there's
no chance for a theatrical amateur
Exchange.
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
From Jail

Kind Lady-so you were at one place
for three years.
Panhandle Pete-Yes. mum; but I wuz
pardoned.
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
Lost Opportunity.

Weary Walter-I lost art a crown
yesterday.
yer pocket?
Weary Walter-No; the, bloke wot
dropped It heard II fall.-Tit-Bits
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
More for the Money.

:, Howell-it costs good deal more to
live than 1t used to.
Powell-WeIl. it's worth the difference.
New York Press.
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
Let 1t Go at That.

First Diner-How do you know wheth-
is that it's chicken I'm paying for
Second Diner-I, don't. All / know
is that it's chicken m paying for
Boston Transcript.
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
A Little Wit
For a Rainy Day
BETTER STILL

do you see that nice looking man
over there? That's my favorfte-
author"
What have you read Of his?f
Nothing But I danced twice with
him last night"
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
DoWn-to-Date.

Twins said the white-robed nurse.
calmly.
''What?' exclaimed the excited father.
"One ball player and one >suffragette,' -
the nurse replied.
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
Knew Her

Hrs. Talkmaster-I heard something
today that knocked me speechless.
Mr.. Talkmaster-Was it something I
could learn to repeat?
The Washington times., 1911-10-02

the waiter. 1t knows when to tackle
job and when to leave II alone
There are many varieties of walters
and their plumage varies considerably.
In New York, the waiter can be distln-
guished by his swallow-tailed coat,
though his costume is greatly infringed
upon by the diners. In Chicago he wears
long white apron. with the date OF
washing carefully stenciled on one cor
ner. In st. Louis the waiter Is dis
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
The Muddled Twins;
Or, May and Fay

Grated heavens" shrieked the nurse,
Gave mixed up the twins. don't
know which from my switch! This
may be Fay and this may be May, or
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
M A ME TELLS BE L L E
Although There IRE Lots
OF New Rules and Things,
FOOTBALL is FINE TRAINING

AVE you noticed it. Belle, The sportin' pages are
gradually deprivn' the trustin' fans of the photo
graphs of baseball high lights tryn to beat cloud
o dust to the home plate and substitutin pictures
o disguised college men with footballs under their
arms.
It's great game, Belle, football, but my, since
they tackled so many rules onto it il amt anything
like it used to be! l remember the time when
football used to be real rough-f there wasn't any
necks broken in game the public would accuse
the teams of havn' yellow Streak. But that's all
changed
The Washington times., 1911-10-02

EAREST: You have undoubtedly heard about
tempests in teapots many times before, but would
you think that squat and comfy" silver re-
ceptace for the stuff that cheers grandmother's
could cause tempest between Aunt Henrietta and
myself that for time threatened to disrupt the
whole family? And now, to make matters worse,
we're both feeling unse6sh selfish
before, and l haven't the least idea how it will
But I'm getting ahead of myself, and arp writ
ing in fearfully muddled fashion, like the girl
in the story ''Ill Go Back to the Beginning and
Keep On To the end"
The Washington times., 1911-10-02
Vest Pocket ESSAYS
The Author of Siwash College Tales
Drawn for The Washington Times.

TO STUDY of natural history
would be complete without
v few carefully selected words on
the subject of The Waiter
The Washington times., 1911-10-02

believe in the fact that you could
count anything by Labor day.
The Touch Tells The Tale
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
GEN ERAL.

c. E. Griffin, mayor of Jackson,
Tenn, stands indicted in Criminal
Court for the offense of public drunk
enness.
A fee of one thousand dollars t.
marry John Jacob Astor and Miss
Force was refused by Edward C. John
son, DID.
Henry Clay Beattie, who has been
on trial at Chesterfield Courthouse.
Va, for some time, on a charge of
numbering his wife, was found guilty
of murder in the first degree and his
punishment assessed at death,
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
SPORT.
WESTERN LEAGUE STANDING,

Young Bruce Of Denver and Trooper
Grimes of Fort Russell. Cheyenne, are
negotiating for n match at Fort Rus
sci at 122 pounds ringside.
The Terrible Swede of Telluride,
Colo, wen the world championship for
drilling and the $500 prize He drilled
thirty-eight inches in solid granite.
Uncle Joe Cannon is the latest con-
vert to golf. He is being initiated into
the mysteries of the game at the Brae
Burn Country Club at Newton, Mass.
Louis Disbrown, driving Pope
Hartford. made new worlds automo-
bile record at Old Orchard beach.
Biddeford, Me-. going 25 miles in Is
minutes, 25 seconds.
Frank Gotch, holder of worlds
championship wrestling title, de.eated
George Hackenschmidt, the Russian
lion in two straight, quick falls, in 10
minutes and so seconds in Chicago
Labor Day.
Miss Matilda Moisant, sister of the
dead aviator, John B. Moisant, ascend
ed in her monoplane at Hampstead,
n. Y, to a height of nearly 1000 feet.
1t is believed to be the greatest alti-
tude ever reached by a woman avia-
tor.
After eleven rounds of slam bang
grilling at Victor, Colo, in which he
had shade of the best of it all the
way through, Charlie Pierson, the New
York newsboy, won the decision over
Jimmy Macdonald Of Denver, when
Referee George Wayland stopped the
contest and awarded the prize to the
Fastener.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
Minor Mention.

The Fort Lupton cannery is now
running steadily.
The safe OF James Abo. at Morrison.
was robbed OF 5000.
A postal savings bank has been
opened In Denver.
Ten thousand people attended Love
lands Harvest Festival.
At Victor, Tom Jones shot and ia
tally wounded James O'Neill.
Ten people were injured In the
Union Pacific wreck near Kersey.
The La Junta public schools opened
with fifty teachers and 1900 pupils.
Yuma county farmers have been
made glad by an inch fall OF rain.
The United Brethren will build a
$4,000 church In Colorado Springs.
4 postal savings bank will be es.
tablIshed at Lamar September 18th.
Colorado Springs will inaugurate a
system Of decorative street lighting.
A new Industry. the Castle Rock
Brick & Tile Co.. will be launched
soon.
A sanitarium for the treatment OF
rheumatic diseases is to be opened in
Boulder.
The thIrty.fifth session OF the Uni
versity OF Colorado has opened at
Boulder.
James Wilson and F. Dupree are in
jail in Colorado City charged with
forgery.
The total appropriation made by the
Eighteenth General Assembly is $4.-
516.945.O5.
The new county OF Crowley is Eow
doing business with Ordway as the
county seat.
Lyman Alonzo White. a pioneer and
old Indian fighter. died at his home
at Longmont.
Elbert johnson of Pueblo won the
motor cycle race from Pueblo to Fow-
Ter and return.
The cornerstone OF the Fort Collins
federal building was laid by the Ma
sonic grand lodge.
a shelter home for women and chill
dren Is to be established by the Den
yer Woman's Club.
The prize stalk of corn for Boulder
county bears eleven large ears and
was grown by o. l.. Linch.
The Sallda high school has made ar
rangements for a splendid lecture
course OF five numbers.
F. A. Taylor. formerly Of Denver.
has been appointed director OF agri-
culture In the Philippines.
Preparations are we'll under way for
the Weld county fair. to be held at
Greeley September IS to %.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15

Colorado Good Roads Conference.

Pueblo.-The next Colorado Good
Roads conference will be held in
Pueblo during the third week In Janu-
ary OF next year. Immediately preced-
ing the annual meeting OF the associa.
tion of county commissioners. Edu-
cational and publicity work will be be-
gun in Denver and Pueblo at once and
extended throughout the Rocky noun
tain country In an effort TO make This
one OF the most beneficial good roads
meetings ever held In the state.
Preliminary arrangements for the
meeting were made ut u conference
OF the vice presidents representing the
various counties at the Chamber OF
Commerce building in Denver. 1t was
decided to open temporary headquart-
ers In Denver. with w. II. Emmons in
charge. j. II. Jenkins. secretary OF the
Pueblo Commercial Club. was made as
sistant secretary and will have charge
OF directing the arrangements for the
meeting In Pueblo.
The question of having first.class
transcontineutal automobile highway,
leading through Colorado. completed
In time for the Panama exposition in
1915. was taken up and referred to the
general meeting In January. A com
mittee consisting OF Senator r. J.
Ehrhart OF Chaffee county. S. G.
Porter OF Prowers county. A. J. Loft
OF Pitkin county. Morris Hoover of
Boulder county. F. w. Swanson OF
Conejos county and DR.. F. l.. Bartlett
OF Denver was appointed to examine
the various routes and report to the
conference.
F. o. Standley and other residents
OF Estes Park were at the meeting
and urged that an effort be made at
once to have convicts from the state
penitentiary put at work widening the
automobile road through the Big
Thompson and St. Vrain caiions. Sam
F. Dutton and c. X. McClain OF Ere
mont county were appointed as spe-
cial publicity committee In connection
with the coming conference.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
WEEKS NEWS IN PARAGRAPHS

With total OF twenty-five persons
and vicinity by eating toadstools. the
Board Of Health has posted warning
notices. Thirty-three persons are still
critically i'll.
Mayor Thomas E. Knots. five of the
nine members of the City Council.
City Engineer w. A. Williston and n
son Of one of the aldermen of Gary,
of accepting and soliciting bribes in
a heating franchise deal.
A remarkable speed OF 27 minutes
35 Is seconds for 33 miles, over wa
ter. carrying passenger. was made
in an aeroplane by Claude Graham
White at Boston. Grahame- White sue.
ceeded In winning the Boston Light
race.
Mrs. Delilah Cook. eighty-tour, of
Finley, o., has sued for divorce from
the man who has been her husband
for sixty years. Stephen Cook, eighty
four. farmer living near Finley. She
claims that he no longer will provide
for her.
In a new Wright biplane especial
ly built for experiments as to the
practica bility OF using aeroplanes in
conjunction with warships, Lieut..
John Rodgers Of the navy flew from
Annapolis to Washington and back
as far as College park, after landing
near the White House.
President Markham of the Illinois
Central railroad ended hopes of an i'm
mediate settlement of the labor diff
culties of the road by directing a let
ter to w. F. Kramer, secretary of the
International Blacksmiths' union, re-
fusing to meet representatives of the
federated shop employees. as he had
been requested.
Preparations for the celebration OF
Labor Day at Toledo, Ohio, were halt
ed while citizens lent aid in the search
for the bodies Of city officers and EN-.
ployes who were drowned when a
launch was rammed and sunk by the
barge Philip Minch, and only one of
the eight passengers in the launch es-
capped a watery grave.
The incorporation of the Atlantic &
Pacific Transport Company of New
Jersey, with an authorized capital of
100000 has been announced. The
headquarters are to be at Baltimore
with branch offices at the principal
seaboard cities on the Atlantic and
Pacific coasts and the Gulf. The COM
pany proposes to carry the mail from
both Atlantic and Pacific points to
and from Panama and Colon.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
FOR ElGN.

The restaurant connected with the
Eldorado, the largest theater in Nice,
France, collapsed, burying two score
people.
The Chilean steamer Lucapel has
been wrecked near Lima and is q to-
tai loss. Eighty-one persons were
drowned.
A French aviator. NJ. lie Jarrestier,
while flying at Huelva, Spain, fell 25D
feet and was killed The motor ex-
ploded.
Capt. Matthew Webb's feat of swim
ming the English channel thirty-six
years ago was duplicated by William
T. Burgess, a native of Yorkshire, Eng
land, but now naturalized French
man. 1t was Burgess sixteenth at
tempt, he having first essayed the
task in 1904. He made the trip Of
twenty miles in twenty-seven hours.
More than 100000 Chinese drowned,
many more homeless and seven:y-five
per cent of the crops in the Yang-Tse-
Kiang river valley destroyed is the toll
of death and ruin claimed by the
floods resulting from recent overflows,
The great flood which Is deyastat-
ing part of the Chinese empire ex-
tends from lshang to Shanghai, about
700 miles. The banks of the Yangtse-
kiang have been obliterated, except
in the highlands and around the
walled cities and towns. Thousands
have drowned
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15

COMING EVENTS.

Sept. l8-2l-Annuai meeting Masonic
Bodies OF Colorado-Denver.
Sept. ls-23-colorado state Fair
Pueblo.
September 2O-AnnuaI Fruit Day
Grand Valley.
September :I-Elbert County Fair
Ebert.
September Is-e2-weld County Fair
-Greeley.
september l9-22-western Slope Fair
M0ntrose.
Sept. .i-2e-Annual meeting order Of
Eastern Star-Glenwood Syringe.
Sept. 22-23-knights Templar Con-
clave-COlorado Springs.
Sept. 2G-Sugar Beet Day-La lara.
september 26-29-Las Animas Couh-
ty Fair rinidad.
Sept. IS. 20. 3O-Public Lands conVen-
September .5-3o-Mesa County In,
dustrial and Fruit Association-Graha
Junction.
September 2S-Old Settlers Reunion
and Pumpkin Pie Feast-LonSmont.
september 2s-30-Sedgwick County
Sept. 2s-30-San Luis Valley Fair
Alamosa.
October I. 6. 6 and 7-Ei Paso Coun-
ty Fair-Calhan.
October 1920 International Dry
Farming Congress and international
Congress OF Farm women-Colorad"
Oct. l4-:l.-secoud Annual Show.
Colorado Electric Club Denver.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
NEWS OF COLORADO POINTS

a coroners jury at Wiley found Wi.
lie Rowe. 10. guilty OF killing his play.
mate. Vernie Hildabidei. Is.
AT the Alamosa opera house. Mike
Malone OF Denver and frankie White
OF Chicago fought fifteen rounds to u
draw.
r. w. liadkinson. fifty-five years
old was struck by Il Rock Island train
at Colorado Springs and fatally In.
jured.
W. s. Zell has disappeared from Colo.
RADIO Springs. 1t is alleged. with sew.
eral hundred dollars OF other peoples
| money.
Twyman Kisinser. OF the Little
Beaver. near Mceker. threshed 250
acres OF fall wheat. averaging forty
bushels to the acre.
The Western Sugar and Land Com.
pany OF Grand junction will make i'm.
provements on their plant at that
place. costing 100000.
Rev. William S. Neenan OF the
Denver cathedral. has been appoint
ed resident rector of ST. Peters
church OF Rocky Ford.
Jacob. nve-year-old son OF John
Hoff OF Greeley. is In hospital with
Il fractured skull. as the result OF a
colt stepping on his head.
VIM. Anderson, a miner. living at
Stumptown. near Leadville. was gored
to death by n bull. which. 1t Is claimed.
he mistreated over a year ago.
The old wire tapping swindle. for
the first time In scvera! years. has
been discovered in operation In Den
yer and several parties arrested.
An aged woman. identified AS Mrs.
Helen +. Dixon. at one time a promi-
nent figure In Colorado politics. was
found dead at her home In Denver.
Plats have been filed for the entire
ditch system of the Uncompahgre val
ley project. showing the size and car
rying capacity OF each ditch and canal
and estimating the cost, when ccm.
pleted. at $9.0O0.6O0.
a resolution was adopted by the
Fremont County Commissioners ask
Ing the State Highway Commission
for $4,000 Of the appropriation made
by the last Legislature for the con-
struction OF public roads.
The activity of the La Plata min.
ing district has become SO pronounced
that scarcely IA week passes without
some prospector or mine operator re.
cording a good strike Of high.grade
ore. and the past week Is no excep-
tion to that rule.
When the twentieth annual Ar
kansas Valley Fair opened at Rocky
Ford, the entire Arkansas Valley was
represented with the best exhibit ever
offered.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
Pocatello. Ida. went dry at the To-
cal option election. 1t has been dry
town for the past year.
WASHINGTON.

A total production CT 12,9lS.200
bales Of cotton as the final yield this
yead is indicated by the Department
of Agriculture.
To improve the horsemanship of
the army, Secretary Of War Stimsou
will soon issue an order that schools
Of equitation shall form part Of the
garrison training of all mounted COM
mands in the Military Service.
Suggestions by sentimentalsts that
the next session OF Congress should
be urged to appropriate sufficient
sum to keep the wreckage of the bat
tleship Maine intact as lasting mon
ument to the 26O men who lost their
lives in the disaster which resulted in
war between the United States and
Spain, find no support in the navy.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
WESTERN.

Six women and six men compose
the jury to try the first case for the
September term of Superior Court at
Bellingham, Wash.
The authoritative announcement is
made at Austin, Texas, that Senator
Joseph w. Bailey will not be candi.
date for reelection.
Lincoln Western League Club has
been sued for $4,000 damages by
Ralph A. Hanson who was injured by
club employe.
Secretary of the Interior Walter l..
Fisher has returned from a tour of
Alaska and will visit several points
in the West before returning to Wash
ington.
Miss Dora Keen of Philadelphia.
who undertook to climb Mount Black.
burn, Alaska, 16,140 feet. was obliged
to turn back when only two days from
the summit because Of the exhaustion
Of her supplies.
Because Miss Mary Chamberlain, a
young school mistress of Shady Bend,
Kan, had talked about" other wo-
men, she was tarred and feathered by
a mob. Eight men have been arrest
ed.
While she was operating washing
machine run by a gasoline engine at
her home at Bennington, kas., Mrs.
Charles Simpsons arm was torn Off.
A belt broke, catching Mrs. Simpsons
arm and severing it at the elbow.
An ancient city has been dug up in
western Texas, at Alpine. small
town in Brewster county, showing that
an earthquake or some cataclysm
buried city of quite large 2opula-
tion.
A male flirt decoy to arrest women
who ogle men is wanted by the Den
yer Fire and Police Board. This is go.
ing Los Angeles one better, the Cali
fornia city recently having appointed
a woman to catch maShers.
Separate indictments. accusing Ma
than Allen of Kenosha, Wis, and John
R. Collins of Memphis, Tenn, reput-
ed millionaires, of smuggling gems
valued at thousands of dollars into
the port of New York, have been
brought to light in the offices of Unit
ed States District Attorney Wise.
Eleven lives lost. fourteen persons
injured, two of whom are not expect
ed to live, and the Juneau hotel and
the McGrath building in ashes are
ne results of fire which started in
the hotel at Juneau, Alaska, and was
subdued only after the Douglas fire
department had sent men and engines
to assist the local fire fighters.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
Secretary Fisher Saves Farms.

Greeley.-Secretary Fisher OF the
Interior Department has handed down
a decision that will save to twenty.six
enjoyment under the Laramie-Poudre
irrigation district in Weld county
their farms. The calims were contest.
ed because the entrymen had paid
for their water rights in personal
notes instead of cash. as the law re-
quires. Secretary Fisher finally de.
cided that the notes offered in pay.
ment before August %. 1909. would
be acceptable.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
Greeley Potato Crop Poor.

Greeley.-Agricultur experts from
the Colorado Agricultural College at
Greeley made a trip into the coun.
try about Greeley the other day -
determine the potato crop. and report
that the prospects are indeed poor for
crop in that locality.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
Change Proposed for Fort Logan.


Denver.-A suggestion that Fort Lo.
gan be given up as a military post
and that in its place be erected and
maintained buildings for a western
division OF the great West Point Mil.
itary Academy has been made 10 the
Chamber OF Commerce by Charles F.
Wilson. formerly president of the
chamber. The suggestion has been
discussed by many of the officers OF
the chamber. and. although 1t has not
been taken up officially. they. are Of
the opinion that such a plan is well
worth investigating and carrying out,
II 1t is possible. AS result. it Is
probable that when President William
Howard Taft visits Denver Oct. 3. the
chambers committee on military al.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
University Students Dissipated.

Chicago.-The millionaire iron man.
ufacturer, r. T. Crane, made public
arraignment of the big universities. He
charges alarming prevalence of drink
ing and gaming among the students.
Columbia he ranks the worst, but con-
ditions at Harvard, Princeton and Cor
nell. he declares, are almost as bad
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
Fort Collins After |. o. o. F. Home

Fort Collins.-The local Odd Eel.
lows are determined to secure for
Fort Collins the location OF the Odd
Fellows home. and to this end will
bring the delegates to the grand lodge
which meets in Denver. Oct. II. here
on n special train to see the site Of
fered. The lodge is being assisted
by the Retail Merchants Association.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15

Accept your limitations. Seize your
opportunities. Enjoy the good OF
the hour. Improve the bad and II
you fail, let it DROP. S. Blackie.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15

She-Old Brown. said il he were
twenty-five years younger he would
marry me.
He-Twenty-fve years younger?
Why, that's just my age.
She-Oh, Charlie, this is SO sud,
den!
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15

Two things operate to rid us Of a
friend-pleasure in which we do not
need them, and trouble in which we
do need them.-Petit-Senn.
The Ordway new era., 1911-09-15
New Idea in judicial Lore.

The suggestion Of French judge.
who presided at a breach Of promise
suit, has aroused the interest of Amer
lean men and women. The suggestion
is that when young people become en-
gagged an agreement to marry should
be drawn up with a clause providing
damages II it is broken.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-03-12
$1 Ne,u Allover Laces for only zsc
$I.5O Marquisette SIPS

Silk Merquisette for allover drapes ,troduction. Every woman admires its sheer, soft beauty. This rartic- ular number comes in the leading colors and shades and is 42 inches wide. 'sss'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-03-12

Share the Profits on These LaceS and Embr0iderieS! Just back from the New York market buyer brings the cream of the choicest trimmings and laces. = And good news! Here odd lots she picked up underprice on which we share profits thus: 25c Baby Matched Sets at 121-2c nansook bodies dainty embroidered in pretty baby inches Edges and insertions charming baby children? soc Bands, etc., 39c z5c F1otnc;nos 59c nouncings in baby
 
 Dainty 2 Eft
 $1 Ne,c A11ouer Laces for only z9c without woke
  aover  $1.5O Marqu;sette SIPS rorchon Laces Dc linens for wais and dresses no in- 2M inches ton. Ever woma adm it's sheer soft beauty This prc 15c and 20c Beading 10c Swiss Nainsook undermusns,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-03-12
R@rr m1n5~ Our Third ProSharng Sale Swings Into Its Second Week
Our 3rd Profit-Shar;ng Sale!

Are you sharing its unusual benefits the extraordinary price concessions, the charming displays of new merchandise, the Profit-Sharing ideas that pervade the entire store?
 Here, for example, is page of new mer chandise-each article fresh and perfect from the maker; each article decidedly underpriced
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-03-12
White Goods
 25c White 4o-in. 1hc Lawn .......... .. 1OO

Buy summer waists and dresses now! For the charm of this silk fin lshed sunbleached lawn is captivating and the sale price brings you yards for the usual price of two.
 35c Lingerie Cloth 25c
 44-inch mercerized lingerie cloth, sheer and soft and will not thicken in washing. For summer waists and dresses.
 121sc Linene 10c
 35-inch Dixie linene; round thread, very similar to an all-linen. For white skirts, children's suits and art work.
 $2 Bolt Longcloth $1.68
 12-yard bolt Regal longcloth with soft chamois finish yard wide. Used extensively for better undergarments
 29c English Rep 22c
 A firm, close weave, soft finish and without dressing. Made of long fibre Sea Island cotton. Splendid for white suits, etc. (Main FIoor)l