The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1911-05-19
HUMORING
THEM

People never were quite able to de-
eide whether Mrs. Hopkins had an abb
normal sense of humor or was just
naturally a door mat. 1t would have
demanded one of these two traits to
enable any woman to endure unflinch-
ingly the vagaries of her family.
She had herself alone to blame for
these vagaries. Visitors to the Hop
kins' home gazed unbelievingly and
wonderingly upon the dinners until
time and repetition allayed their sur
prise. Then they would take Mrs.
Hopkins into a corner, If they were
women, and would tell her that it
was a sin and a shame to give In
so to the foolish whims OF mascu-
Unity and that she was running her
boys.
In spite of this Mrs. Hopkins kept
right on ordering meals according to
her own ideas. There were three
nearly grown sons and one daughter,
and no two of them liked the same
things to eat.
Alexander refused positively to
touch any meat but steak and roast.
Ernest would not eat beef If he
starved to death. Eugene, who had
a delicate appetite which had to be
coaxed, insisted on chops, chicken or
sweetbreads. Josie turned up her nose
at anything except creamed dried
beef, sardines or lamb.
1t was just as bad about the break
fast eggs. Eugene had to have his
poached. Alexander stuck to soft
boiled. Josie preferred omelets. Ern-
est insisted on having his eggs scram-
bled
Two of the four wanted toast served
buttered and the other two wouldn't
eat 1t unless they adjusted the butter
to suit themselves. AS for desserts
that was what made nearly all the
cooks leave after struggling three
days or so. Therefore Mrs. Hopkins
perforce did most of her own cook.
ing.
If one of the family liked pie an
other insisted on cake, and somebody
else refused to finish on anything but
pudding. AS for Hopkins, the only
sweet he liked was ice cream. Mrs.
hopkins was always too exhausted by
dessert time to yearn for anything ex.
cept a merciful oblivion.
The human constitution being what
1t is, of course it was impossible to let
everybody else starve while Alexan-
der RECALLED himself on beef or while
Josie toyed with an omelet. Every
body wanted food several times day
and so Mrs. Hopkins generally man.
aged to have a little bit of each ones
preference on the table at meal time,
not forgetting that Eugene, for some
inscrutable reason, never wanted any
butter or that Ernest disliked cream
and liked plain milk in his coffee and
on his berries.
It made an outsiders head whirl to
take a meal with the Hopkins family,
because there was such an avalanche
of various kinds of food that one lost
count. Besides, It is firing to have to
choose between six kinds Of meat and
everything else accordingly three
times a day.
Mrs. Hopkins always said that she
would rather do these things than
have the children fuss, and that, any
how, their habits were too deeply in
grained to be broken. 1t was, of
course, troublesome, but anything to
keep peace in the family" was her
slogan. She said she was sure she
did not know what the boys would do
If they ever married, because no girl
would love them as much as their
mother did or would be willing to
take as much trouble for them, and
that she knew they would be unhappy,
but she couldn't help it-she had done
her best.
Everybody else said 1t was all TOM
myrot and that the Hopkins children
imposed upon their mother.
In course of time Alexander and
Ernest and Josie married and set up
homes of their own and Eugene went
into business in a different city. Mrs.
Hopkins never could fill up the spare
time she now had since her culinary
labors were so simplihed. A lifelong
slavery had spoiled her capability for
other pursuits. So she went visiting
among the children.
When she got to Alexander's-he
who would eat nothing but beef and
eggs soft boiled and pie-she was par
alyzed the FIRST night to have chicken
and rice pudding come on the table.
In former times Alexander would
have stormed at the sight Of pud-
ding. Now he remarked that the
chicken was cooked to turn and the
pudding delicious.
Isn't Sadie fine cook" he asked
his mother, beaming.
When she got to Eugene's, he of the
capricious stomach, she sat at his
boarding house table and saw him
stow away corned beef and cabbage
till she fed aghast.
Ernest had married q pretty little
thing, who knew no more about cook
ing than she did about the history OF
the stone age. She set forth a soggy
dinner, warranted to knock out Cupid
In the first round ~
At Josie's Mrs. Hopkins found her
fair young daughter who loved omelets
eating eggs boiled and shirred be
cause her husband preferred them
that way, and setting forth steaks
that at home she would have tainted