Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-19
ENSAN.
@0F.T
wy By ROY K. MOULTON.

neither do you punch it with a ticke,
punch or with Il milk punch. although
of course the latter would be quite APP
proprlate for a cow; in fact. nobody
knows how, when or why or where To
punch Il COW. The COW is not punched
at all, and that is the secret OF the
whole matter. Therefore Tho cow
puncher is at best Il missioner and the
stage co%wpunchcr in consequence is a
weak imitation of nothing.
These little defects are HI cause
us to lose faith in the modern drama.
1t is almost as bad to see Il stage COW
puncher as to see Il section of scenery
drop suddenly during the dcathbed
scene i'm "Uncle Toms Cabin leaving
of a restaurant or Chinese laundry,
with no one near to comfor her.
HIS WIFE WENT 10 THE
COUNTRY.
His Vic Gent to the country.
He gaily Yelled ''Hooray,"
He thought he'd have II picnic
And planned = life most gay.
He started out that evening
To paint the village red.
He looked for his old cronies.
But most of them We're dead.
The rest of them We're married
WilI nome Ties OL IuelF OWN.
1t seemed to be up to him
To celebrate atone.
He pottered round the village
For all that he was worth.
But found no man he knew when
He Vas first on earth.
He'd planned to break the record
And give the town a shock.
But gave the job up early;
Went home at 9 o'clock.
The house was dark and dreary,
And cherries as a tomb.
He, like a lost soul. wandered
About from room to room.
He packed his grip next morning,
For nothing else would do,
And like a happy s%choolboy.
Went to the country. too.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
l have heard of one or two fellers
who would rather be right than presi-
dent, but 1 have heerd of a blamed
sight more who would rather be wrong
than vice president.
When I see our village milliner's up
per lip all black 1 make up my mind
there has been some drummer along
that has got a Owed mustache.
1t seems as though in our neighbor-
hood everybody enjoys a funeral thor
oughly eNceptin' the late defunk.
scripture says q ioSS is II vain ln1ns
for safety. but by gravy l think al
oatmobile is Il blame sight vainer.
1t is a wise lawn mower that know
eth it's own master.
l see a eastern scientist says ambi-
ton is an unyielding desire to keeI
diggin'. A lot of folks aroun here
have been affected that way but they
all thought they had shingles.
A good many fellers that get credit
for industry nv n1ovyipu n, tha1,. h,ol
gardens are only lookin' for angle
worms.
Whenever I hear a Teller CONSTANT,
referred to as q good" man | allu:
wonder what he is good for. but no.
body seems to know.
Why in tunket are they called angle
worms they only move in curves?
There Is only n way to take dowr
a stovepipe without gettin' SCOT on the
carpet. and that is to take up the car.
pet fust.
Elmer Hicks a y he is going to get 9
job wOrkin' at the plumbers trade. b,
jing! l didn't think anybody worked
at that.
About this time every year 1 go ane
look at some Teller that chaws tobackel
and 1 find that ] have got one thing t,
be thankful for. anyhow.
Putty soon it will be time for al
OF us to borrow a dollar or two ant
give somebody we don't care anythin,
about a present that he doesn't want
There Is a good deal in knowing HOY
to wear clothes. Some fellers can pu
on a 81 hand-me-down suit and max
a noise like a member of the Fou
Hundred while others can wear a $40
broadcloth and be picked up by tn
police for having no visible means O
support.