The Washington herald., 1911-12-17

imination of the average Missouri mule,
said the Senator, the African republic
would have been a reality.
But II was old Uncle Joe"-preyiously
| introduced as the Idol, of the American
people"-who won the greatest measure
OF cheers. He talked for two minutes
and a half on the bravery OF American
soldiers, and nobody could hear what he
said.
Representative James r. Mann. whose
self-confessed aim Is to irritate Speaker
Clark to the point of madness, publicly
praised Representative Sulzer for de
| claring war with Russia. He said the
| United States had the best army and
navy In the world. and
And then the bell rang.
SaIutes Mai. shelton.
The quaint. charming strains Of ''Agui-
naldo's March" called the guests into the
great dining-room. and two by two they
| found their seats at the long tables,
above which waved the flags of all army
corps, regiments, and companies that had
done service in the Philippines. Hardly
were they seated than the Paramount
tearabao. Capt. John J. Knapp, arose and
saluted Mai. George H. Shelton, who sat
near him.
Are you an extensive talker:-- he de-
manded.
BIushingly, Maj. Shelton replied that he
was not.
Then" said the Paramount Carabao.
you are appointed the 'bombinero' of
the evening"
"Bombinero'' elsewhere than at a Car
abao banquet would be toastmaster. The
literal translation OF the word is hope
lessly inadequate, 1t meaning water
man."
Three things Maj. Shelton did effect
ually. He proposed toasts, he introduced
speakers and he squelched the oratorical
In summary fashion.
This was not difficult. Above the gilded
dais where the relocated musicians Of
the Marine Band gave forth their har-
mony was a huge dial, resembling the
face of clock. A gigantic minute hand,
as inexorable as the hand of death. swung
slowly across the clocks face as the five
minute allowance doled out to each
speaker passed into eternity. And when
speaker had talked five minutes, no
matter where he was or how seriously he
was conversing, a gong behind the clock
changed forth mournfully, the "bombi-
nero" made a motion, and the remaining
bright thought passed into the realm of
things undone.
Mystery Behind Stage. -..
A stolid carabao, emblematic Of the
order, stood in front Of the bandstand
when the guests entered, and from its
CLASSY eye seemed to glance suspiciously
at the arrivals. Mystery was behind the
stage at the far end OF the hall where
the drawn curtains hid the first scene
of the piece de resistance of the even
ing.
The dinner was we'll started when the
Paramount Carabao arose and demanded
that the screening curtains of the stage
be swept aside. In an instant the vast
banquet hall was in darkness and the
curtains gradually opened, revealing a
stage setting that brought a gasp OF
ramazement from the onlookers.
In the rear was a moonlit stream, the
darkened banks crowded with rank veg
citation of the trophies. In front stood
thatched hut amid a clump OF bamboo
trees and opposite il was an old stone
well. Beyond the river could be seen
the plumed tops of palm trees.
This was the opening of the remark
ever attempted outside of the Gridiron
Clubs dinners-which was written,
staged, and, with two exceptions. played
by army men. Capt Warren DEAN OF
the Fifteenth Cavalry. was author and
stage manager OF the production. He
named 1t From Then to the Future. !"
AIhambra Makes Escape.
Staggering weakly. "Alhambra.'' Agui-
naldo's chief Of stan. who, as Is recalled
from history. leaped from a window and
escaped when hfs chief was captured by
Gen. Funstpn's men. came upo,; the Stage,
and the play had begun. To the carabdOs
y vas deeply interesting. because the
story Of AIhambra's disappearance IS
fraueht with mystery. No one kn1vs
where he went when he leaped from the
window OF Aguinaldo.s hut This fur
nished the clew to the disappearance.
Alhambra,- In thrilling tones. told how
during the days preceding he had lain
hungry and aching In a river swamp.
II have had a VISION" he Numbered to
"Besda," Aguinaldo's housekeeper, ''in
which ] have lived nifty years hence. I
have seen the time when from these
tropics we will be carried TO the Army
War College, at Washington"
Then he described the coming era Of