davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-11-23

you've got to withdraw from this
campaign now, tonight"
And how do you propose that I
should withdrawn
"Set down there and write that for
business reasons you've concluded to
you advise your friends to vote for
Pete Warren, the best mayor New
York ever had; that you're convinced
that you we're wrong in the charges
you've made; that investigation has
showed you that the Gotham Freight
Traction company is all right and that
the Sachem society is equally honor
able and virtuous. You'll know how
to put it. I give you the substance.
Fancy 1t up In your W language.
You can sling words good and plenty
as has been proved in this campaign.
That's all you got to do"
"And If I do this" asked Gormly,
what do l gets"
You'll get silence as to your do
ings twenty-five years ago."
Would you mind telling me what
my doings were twenty-five years
agof"
Certainly not" said the chief mo
reason for ~concealnent between you
and me, that l can see. You ran away
with a miners wife out at Camp XIII
Devil, Wyo., In the midst OF a howlin'
blizzard. With the wire you took the
mans pile. product Of his hard-work-
In. toilsome life for a worthless WON.
an and you. And before you left. you
put a bullet into the mans breast.
There's three counts against YOU;
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-11-23

MIR. Chaloner," he said, will you
bring your notebook and pencils here?
Mr.. Chaloner, this IL the chief of po-
lice, Mr.. Connell,' he continued, as
the young man entered the room.
Pleased to know you," said Con-
Fell grimly.
will you be seated, Mr.. Chaloner,
and take q statement from my dicta-
ton? BY the way he pushed a but
ton on the desk, and the door into
the hall opened instantly, with suspi-
cious promptness, it might have been
thought, had any of the party given it
any attention, "Somes.' said Gormly,
81 want you" The servant stepped
into the room. Lock the door,
please. so that l may be sure we are
o interrupted"
Now" said Gormly, this gentle
man, as you know, is the chief of po.
lice"
Yes, sir" said Somes.
"He has asked me to dictate a Ger,
tain statement to the people of the
city Of New York. and I'd like to
have you hear what / have to say and
witness all that occurs"
Yes, sir"
Are you ready, Mr.. Chaloner?"
quite ready. SIR"
Tonight at half after eleven
o'clock" began Gormly. the chief OF
police O; the city of New York"
you needn't bring rae into it!"
roared Connell, sitting ep.
"Wiil you have the goodness to he
silent. sir" cried Gormly. q" am die.
tating this statement, mon yoni"
We'll. you're going to dictate What
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-11-23

stomach and there was no cure. | al
most thought the same, for my breath
was offensive and / could not eat any
thing without great misery, and / grad
nally grew worse.
FINALLY / concluded to try Peruna,
and / found relief and a cure for that
dreadful disease, catarrh. 1 took five
bottles Of Peruna and two Of Manalin,
and / now feel like a new man. There
Is nothing better than Peruna, and /
keep a bottle Of it in my house all the
time"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-11-23
CHAPTER XVI.

The Chief Of Police Visits Mr.. Gormly.
On the evening Of the second day
before the election Connell, dressed in
plain clothes and entirely unaccom-
panied, presented himself very late at
night at Gormly's apartment and de-
sired TO see him. 1t al Somes who
admitted the official. Gormly's estab-
lishment was a simple one, and the
other servants had gone home for the
night.
Somes knew very well who he was,
and while he had some Of the English
W OF the police he had all the ha~
tired of a Jealous and devoted partizan
of his master, which he certainly was,
for the enemy. Therefore he re-
ouested the fu~nctionary to take a seat
while he carried the request for an in
terview to the library.
Somes entered the library without
Knocking. q most unusual course for
him. He also took occasion to turn
the key of the door behind him. Then
he stood at attention in his respectful
English way. Gormly had looked up
instantly the door was opened, and
had stopped his dictation. He was
greatly surprised az the Wallets en-
trance, and more surprised when he
locked the door: but he realized that
something unusual was up and said
nothing.
BEG pardon, sir" began Somes de-
precatingly, but there's a party out
In the hall wants to see you"
"Who is it?"
"Hs didn't give any name, sir, but
I recognized him as the chief of po.
lice"
Yes, sir"
what does he want?'
He didn't say, sir"
''Whrt was his message?"
"Just to tell you that a gentleman
that's what he called himself, sir
wanted to see you"
Where Is he now"
Il left him sitting out in the hall,
but | wouldn't be- too sure as to where
he is, sir. He seemed TO want to come
right In here without permission, and
that's why / locked the door, sir"
Il see," answered Gormly, a twinkle
of amusement In his eye. Il wonder
what the chief of police can have to
say to me? Well, I suppose I'd better
see him. Chaloner, will you go ints
the dining room and wait until call
for you. Tell the chief to come IN,
Somes."
While Chaloner gathered up his
notebooks, pencils. and letters and
withdrew into the dining room across
the hall, Somes unlocked the door,
stepped out into the hall and present.
ly returned. He threw the door of the
library open in great style, drew him
self up and announced as If 1t had
been a reigning prince:
The chief of police of the city of
Now York;"
ITO what" asked Gormly suavely,
am I indebted for the honor of this
risit at this late hour?"
He glanced at the clock as he
spoke and observed that 1t was half,
after eleven.
I've got something to say to you,
Gormly." began Cornell bruskly.
II am not var of any intimacy
between you and me. Mr.. Connell,
which warrants you In your familiar
node OF address. Address me with
iecency and respect, or I'll have you
gut out of the house!"
Mel" roared Connell. You'd lay
lands on me an oficer OF the Law. IN
he discharge of his"
Are you come here as an oficer ol
he law In the discharge at your duty
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-11-23
Heather Nations Invent Nothing.

Bishop Thoburn, who has been a
missionary in India for so years, and
knows India better than any other liv-
ing American, says: III you visit the
patent Office at Washington, you will
sec 500 improvements on the pillow.
India has not invented one improve
ment on the toothpick in 1000 years.
The nations without God have no In
yentive faculty. They are almost uni
versally the savage. unenlightened ma
tiens OF the earth"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-11-23
The Gist of II,

Two and two make four. This is a
platitude.
Two and two make three. This is
d~emagogism.
Two and two make one hundred and
fifty. This is high fnance.-Lippin-
colts Magazine.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-11-23
CATARRH
OF THE
STOMACH
Could Hardly Eat. Gradually
Grew Worse. Relieved by
PeYura.

Mr.. A. M.
Tkerd, Box 81,
w c s t b u r
lington, Iowa,
writes:
81 had ca
tarrh of The
stomach and
8 m a intes-
5 Tor q
n u IN b C T of
years. / went
to a number
of doctors and
got no relief,
and fin al
one Of my
doctors sent
me to 9 h i
C a g o, and l
met the same
fate. T h e y
s a / d t h e
could do moth.
ing for me;
8 al d / had
cancer Of the
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1911-11-23

Easte Turner should think you'd
have lots of trouble collecting way
out here.
Collector Suremark-Not on yer
life; everybody here knows l kin
PUNK the bull's-eye nine shots out Of
ten!
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
A HELOR'S VIEW

much as they please (you can hit the
men here, tool.
One girl is too fond of showing her
ankle and more-it Is pretty.
One girl knows nothing but how to
make herself pretty and attractive: Il
is lovely for an evening, a dance or q
picnic, but monotonous after a while.
The girl Of weak character, having no
mind of her own, is another.
The things I would like in a wife are
these:
Strength OF character, some sense of
humor, ability to cook and sew, some
musical ability-play the piano, for in
stance; control of temper, control of
voice, ability to live economically, neat
in dress-not SNOWY or extreme-able
to find her personal belongings whsn
wanted.
Do you wonder what I have to offer
IN exchange? So do I.
Sincerely yours,
A BACHELOR READER.
P. s. Do girls realize that a man
doesn't marry the girl he amuses him
self with7
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
CHIN MIE'S HISTORY

the heel and sed 1, 2, 8, go, and dipped
him until the poor kid must of
thawt he was in ship reck.
Wen AkiIles mothir got home agen
she remembered that no wattir had
ent toutched his heel avn account of
her grabbing hold of him by the heel
SO she Good dip him without drownd-
ing the kid.
o. we'll, Akilles nothir sed, watts
the diffrince, who evir herd of eny-
boldly hitting enyboddy in the heel
enyhow. Wen hes dansing sum time
sum klumsy nut of gerl mite tired
avn 1t, she sed, but that amt goin to
kill him, gesA
Sum Filter
So Akilles groo up and nobody
Good liok him. Bekaus II you evin
took a klub and soaked him avn the
he'd with 1t, he coodent feal It. avn
akkount Of being dipped in the Greak
bath tub.
Everybody was always fiteing In
them days with sords but the moar
you wood try to stick AkilIes with a
sord the moar he wood Ian at YOU
and say, Stick away, kid, its good
exersize and you kant hert me eny.
And then wen he got tired Of kidding
them he wood take out his own sord
and fill them so full of holes they
dident no ware they was
But l day anuthir Greak found out
about Akilles heel and he calm up
behind him and gave him sutch a
poke In it with his sord Akilles
jumped about yard in the air and
sed, Good mite, I'm ded. Wich he was.
The Washington times., 1911-09-10

possible? don't think it's right Belle
to read the weather day oughnt be held accountable
for his actions
Did read the weather map, Belle? Well
don't bet the truth known half the people insane
asyums that supposed be victims drink
really got that from tryin' to read weather maps
Mamie Met the Weather Man
Bill knows the weather man, Bele-he all ntr
en peopeand he took the weather bureau place
and rduced him. and he tried show the
weather The weather mans little fat fellow almost
Belle 1t took breath when what
he looked like expected bath robe Ounce
entirely disguised by high forehead, pair glasses and
whskers Anyhow he tried show how
Don't let anybody show you that Belle
Bill almost had the elevator afterwards and took
three ice sodas to make feel natch'ral
There's everything the weather Belle
the weather showed how hold
people could read easier don't they didn't allow railroads
their advertisements all it? Just look tange
railroad ines!"
They're railroad lines" he They're
And then he talked for fifteen while
tryin follow him. and decide whether
in Rockies
humidity And that giddy when got through
member whether thanked him before fell faintn
The Washington times., 1911-09-10

AkiIles was a great guy and lived
so long ago nobody can remembir
1t, avn akkount of If anybody was
old enuff to remembir that they wood
have wiskers a yard long. But he
had a CRATE time vile he lived awl
rite, and so wood enyboddy else If
they was dipped in the Greek bathtub
Akilles was dipped in.
Akilles mothir dipped him when
he was a baby. g, she sed to her
self, this is crate stuff, awl I haff to
do is dip the kid in the wattir and
after that you coodent hert him II
you nocked a house down avn him.
That's the kind of Greak bath tub
II Is, she sed.
She Dips Him
- So she took Akilles, who was so
'yung then he wood rather have sum-
'boddy stick a milk bottil in his fase
than dip him in the best bath tub
in the world, and she took him to the
Greak bath tub and grabbed him by
The Washington times., 1911-09-10

Bcripttve, rushin'?-beat to a FRAGILE.
Here's the way she works:
All the old anti-tobacco guys come
htkin' out to lunch about noon ey'ry
day, and that's my cue to pose inno-
cent-like against a lamp post or a
telegraph pole or a house with a
cigarette stuck between me ruby Iips.
1t amt minute before one O. the
old geezers stops and puts a paw on
me shoulder.
''Son."-that's the dope-"son, 1 am
truly sorry to see you a-smokin' that
there, cigarette" and so on and more
of II, until he comes across with the
grand wind-up, Come, son, I'll give
You nickel If you throw II away,
What do you sayP"
say, Sure, Mixer o. course. and
that's one nickel. Then I lean against
somepin' else, take out another Gig
arctic, and wait for the n.xt crs-
toner. Some of 'em pay a dime,
Fynanseer, what!
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
,RErrA.s LOOKING GLASS

LORETTA's LOOKING GLASS
Dear Madam: From the standpoint of
a bachelor your articles have proved in
teresting, and I must admit at times
amusing. The only criticism Is that
each case you reflect in your glass
seems to be an extreme one. A great
many people, boys as well as girls,
think themselves only little bad, and
20 would believe your articles did not
really mean them when possibly they
were really hit.
Many girls would not wear drop-stttch
stockings that would wear really in
decent openwork waists or low necks to
work, and vice versa. Did you ever no
tice the number Of girls wearing pumps
and gauzy stockings who always cross
their legs when sitting in the elevated
trains?
/ have q few girl friends. all OF
whom are considered very nice, but
YOU may be interested to know why I
would not care to marry certain OF
them:
One allows too much familiarity-any
of her male friends can hug her as
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
SIZE HOLDS IT UP TO THE
BRIDE.TO.BE

sex pride you would have perceived that
every one of the naive tricks" which
you have given me credit for suggest
ing. are based upon real. sterling. genu-
Inc values. 1 have insistently attacked
all the tricks OF the trade Of husband
hunting which are based upon lying
and deceit. The Sir1 VINO wears an old
hat on Easter Sunday 10 the girl who
has common sense and self-control
enough to domfnate her own vanity; the
girl who sits IN the balcony at the
opera reveals the fact that she can
appreciate music without having to
form a part Of spectacular display,
which to a good many people Is the
main part of the opera
The Acme Of Sanity
THE dear male god" In his old ONCE
clothes appreciates the consideration Of
the girl who gives him an opportunity
to enjoy her and the music without an
unnecessary effort. You. say men never
marry for sensible reasons. YETI the
Aason you give represents the acme
Your lover wants you because you rep
resent his ideal. He puts up with your
demands as part OF the price he is
Wiling 10 pay 10 acquire the REAL Siri
underneath the superflcials.
But when he has you, he expects you
to show up the genuine values. I hope
you may; but take my advice and cut
out the stenography. Get familiar with
the kitchen range. You will help him
more by minding your own business
than his. And you will make him re-
spect you and your work more by tend
ing to 1t than by neglecting 1t to as
sist his. This is just plain common
sense. think you need I'll
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
Loretta's Looking Glass
Drawn for The Washington Times.

the time they don't know why they
want you. You will excuse this badly
written letter, I am sure, when 1
tell you that am learning to write
on the typewriter in order to assist
my better half.
"Au revoir. dear Loretta,
IAN ADMIRER."
May extend congratulations? Even
II violate good form In doing 50? Your
letter speaks so eloouently for Itself
that mere comments Of mine may seem
superfuous. BUT dislike to have you
or any other girl infer that / had been
induced to silence by your remark about
busy husband hunters, I know OF no
pursuit more dignified, more worthy OF
a girls BEST endeavor than finding
husband.
If you looked deeper than your own
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
ENGLISH IoKE FOR TODAY

Well" he cried. in desperation, for
the scrap had been long and trying
one, 'if you will have it 30. admit
1t! 1 did marry you for your money, so
there!"
She was silent for moment, per-
picked look stole gently over her great
violet eyes like gauze over ghost
scene.
II wonder" she murmured-"I wonder
what In heaven ] married you for?''-
The Pink ,Un.
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
Keep These In
Your Medicine Chest
OIJT OF REASON

THAT new family next door bor-
roved eur az again this morning"
When his wife told him this Jones
was peeved.
"weIl, why did you lend Il to them?
How can I help Hr
'sYou might have given them some
kind Of an excuse
Mrs. Jones waxed sarcastic.
"Yes." she snapped. IT might have
told them that you were going to use
n. or some other crazy, impossible
thing"
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
Young Man, Go West;
Or, Rolling Plains

Though beautiful as anything, she
was city girl and thought milk
came from factories and butter from
large goats.
The nearest she had ever been to the
The Washington times., 1911-09-10

country was seven yards from
loaded hay wagon, and she had an idea
that all daisies grew on hats.
Naturally, then, she painted for
something different, for rolling plains,
for endless prairies, for hills In the
distance and horseback rides in the
morning. She painted for the WEST
Thus II was. that though she did not
love the handsome young man In the
typically western sombrero = thought
him rather silly, In fact, she accepted
him because he lived In Cheyenne.
Visions of rolling plains and all the
rest Of the west that the moving pic
lures have made immortal teemed
through her head as she blushingiy
answered Yes, and they kissed undar
his sombrero.
This Is a Tragedy
Before the rice had been swept from
her mothers pavement he took her to
her new home in Cheyenne-New Jer-
sey. .
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
Our Messenger Boy
Saws Easy Money

Say, do you know what a fynanseer
t1f Well, turn your lamps thuswards.
I'm one.
See that big church with the wob-
bly, steeple? The Anti-Tobacco
League is meetin' there this week,
and I've struck a line o. dope that's
got rushin' messages-get the de-
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
AS Enjoyable as
y A Quiet Smoke
DIFFERENT

Benevolent Lady-LittIe boy will
you give this temperance tract to your
father?
Urchin-Me dad don't drink now.
Teddy. -
Benevolent Lady-Oh, how good
Did he read the last tract gave him ?
Urchin-No, Teddy. He's training
for prize fight.
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
Shop Talk

"Huh?' exclaimed the yardstick. as
1t moved rapidly over the bolt y.
cloth, you're not all woolp'
That's all right" retorted the bolt
Of cloth, you're not a yard long.
either"
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
Only Too True

"A woman can't drive nall"
There has been too much SANDER
ing Of women. A woman may not be
able TO drive nail with hammer.
but you give her hairbrush and she
can drive nail a. well as anybody
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
Oh

yisitor-Great Scotti What are you
throwing bottles at that poor man?
Are you trying to kill him?
Baseball Fan-No. not the slightest
Intention Of It The league is launch
ing new umpire and we are just
christening him.
The Washington times., 1911-09-10

lAT'S the weather forecast for t'morrow, Belle?
If the paper says clear, I'll hunt up my umbrella,
and il it says, Heavy rain, accompanied by occa-
sional showers l want to lay out my best dress
Pity the poor weather man. Belle. I'd rather
De the Puohc executioner than the weather man;
/ think it'd be more cheerful job, and then the
people that you have to displease in the way O
business wouldn't be in position to talk back to
you s
The poor weather mans blamed for ev'ry
storm that spoils picnic, and if the day happens
to be clear, peope1l knock him anyhow for
The Washington times., 1911-09-10

kSDE EAR LORETTA From the
tenor of your article 1t
would appear that you look
upon marriage as the only end and
aim of q girl, and a pretty hard end
to attain at that. am going to be
married myself. L of course, have the
proper regard for the marriage state,
II It Is on proper basis Some time
ago you stated that even unhappy
marriages were better than none, as
the agony Of fulh1lment was better
than the misery Of unfulfllment. One
would draw the conclusion that our
girls were all busy hunting husbands,
and that 1t is up to you to give them
different recipes for catching them,
sitting in the balcony at the opera,
so the dear male god can wear his old
office clothes, wearing your old hat
on Easter Sunday to show what good
sense you have, and all sorts Of naive
tricks.
= Hard to Land
why don't you ever advise the men
how to get a wife? Girls are really
very hard to land sometimes, and men
have to resort to even such things as
putting on the detested evening
clothes and buying expensive seats for
the opera. Go toi Loretta. There is
man who has been begging the
writer of this letter to marry him for
two years, Notwithstanding the fact
that she always wears the most ex-
pensive hat she can command to
church on Easter Sunday, and abso-
lutely insists upon evening clothes at
the opera.
You can take 1t from me. dear Lor-
eta, the men do not marry for any
of these sensible reasons. They marry
you because they want you. and half
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
After Father

Miss Blase-This is "A Peasant"
after Rembrandt.
Miss Highup-Pretty good; but you
ought to come down to our house and
see our enlarged photograph Of a biii
collector after father.
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
illustrated

The barber told me very inter-
esting story as he shaved me-"
"Indeed?''
Yes, and also illustrated It with
The Washington times., 1911-09-10
lust Discoveries

"Dr. Deepsearch is a wonderful man.
He has discovered over thirty new dis
eases"
Can he cure them all?''
"oh. no. He leaves that for some one
else to do
The Washington times., 1911-09-10

EAREST:-What dreary day this has been. l
~ it would have been times worse had not
letter reached the mail And that
just dispeled all the gloom that had been
"a ~ aing in heart last night and early this
SL You had what the comic
%
I-f531SN the time started nightly dreams of
NH by heavy thunder and lightning
"fess" a Bit scared the
w. thunder and lightning, and oh, how longed ito
IA shelter of your But l could so l just
buried my head in the pillows and waited until
the of passed
Then heavy fog and the COOL damp blowing
window famed off sleep. When awoke though,
o'clock this morning the fog still had and
dzze showed that to all would keep all day
which it has done
More Lessons To Learn
But, lifting evening hope
will dawn bright and clear for have learn
from Martha, and | like to work best clear days
Besides thing
the all looked window
before
the fog the little sparrows used
bother before
for me, and so / noticed these little birds
! Chirped and Played
There they chped, picture of Chirping
hoped around in the mist png each others bills finally
disappeared What they
day? What they
could chp
coming believe that birds just human
perhaps these little that
OF love and happiness
of all that like
little that when married and
n sunshine shall be
loving faithful and happy the copanonshp
Oceans of love dearest boy. H
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-09

The bill which goes on at the Liberty
tomorrow afternoon promises to be one
OF the best yet offered by that house.
The headiner is a feature film by Pathe
Freres entitled, The Maccabees.' II is
an interesting biblical story dealing with
the children of Israel at the time they
were in bondage In Egypt. The costumes
and settings are magnificent and the
leading roles are In the hands of the most
capable actors and actresses. TWO come
dies. an Edison drama by Richard Hard
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-09

franklin Fyles, the celebrated
dramatic critic, whose letters have
delighted The Tribune readers each
Sunday. died suddenly Of heart dis
ease in New York on July A. He
was one of the most acute, and at
the same time genial critics of his
generation. and was looked upon as
the legitimate successor OF William
Winter as dean of New York's CO.
terie OF dramatic censors.