The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-16
CCopyright, BY j. b. Llpplncott Coz

Tommy Winslow is an awful ass
about things English. Fact is,
! guess, he's one of those-thingama,
bobs-Anglomaniacs. OF course, If
/ it ever came to a showdown, Tommy
would be the first to grab a gun, hike
down to Sandy Hook, and defy the
| Britishers. He's very chesty for a
| chap only five feet seven and a half
inches. When he is really angry his
little blue eyes blaze terribly Tommy
traces his descent back to Alfred the
Conqueror or Peter the Great, or some
old English Johnnie like that and so,
as he says, he just can't help being
scrappy. But you mustn't get the
idea that Tommy is quarrelsome.
l guess he won't like my telling
about the time we helped him out,
but he's on the other side now, and
it isn't likely he will ever see this,
for about the only thing Tommy ever
reads are the sporting papers and the
English weeklies.
Tommy reads all the English jour
nails that tell about the fashions, and
what the king wore Friday afternoon
at Sandringham and that sort of non.
sense.
Tommy came into the smokingroom
of the club-the Poppy club, you know
looking bit gloomy.
I'm bet the king has cut off his
nose shaving" said Dickie Boswell,
and Tommy is getting up his cour.
age to get rid of his"
"Poppycock," said the duke. "The
trouble with Tommy is, he's seen
some one on the avenue with larger
trousers, haven't you, Tommy"
Tommy lighted a Russian, shaking
his head dolefully. Finally he said:
Don't laugh, you, chaps. I'm in
hole, a beastly hole"
We all looked sympathetic.
When I was ia Florida last win
ter he went ona 81 met up with
chap named WATKINS"
WAS his first. name Bill?" asked
the duke Thflt was a joke. The
duke calls everybody and everything
Bill; l don't know why. Tommy
looked hurt, but went on
He was a7Rfully decent to me-put
me up at HIS club and showed me
around quite a bit. He has an orange
Srchard-"
Grove" corrected Dickie
Grove. then. It's near some place
with funny name. I stayed two
days with him. He has jolly bunga-
low; very picturesque; roses, palms,
dogs, oranges, good whisky, and all
that you, know. WeIl, there's a whole
bunch of Engl tsh JShnnies down
there, and met lot Of them. And
and-somehow they got the idea that
knew a good m any English chaps up
north here"
he paused de.ectedly, and the duke
locke astonisf led. How do you
supp ose they ever got such an idea?"
no murmured. We grinned
Anyhow" Tommy continued, Il
J sked Watkins to come and see me.
And-and | fyot a telegram from him
this morning. He'll be here to-mor-
row"
well, what's the trouble?" asked
Dickie Isn't he all right?"
yes, but don't you see, he'll expect
to meet lot of English chaps, and
Of course l don't know any out-and-
outers-except Brubbs, and he's away
some old place. What'll I do?"
Tell him your English friends have
all gone back to dear old Lunnon," the
duke suggested.
Get some of the walters from Bos-
worth's to lunch with you, and invite
Watkins" said Dicl1e.
"Oh, let up" Tommy growled. 'T
think you chaps might help fellow
out"
"Of course we WILL" I said. "Only
-what-how--"
Wen, I've thought of scheme that
might work" Tommy answered He
looked a bit sheepish. Its this:
Suppose you three come to lunch to-
morrow and meet Watkins"
Easy, BILL" agreed the duke.
"And-and supposing you-er-sup-
posing you let on you're English?"
1--WE will, answered the duke. "Bill
Watkins won't be able to tell us from
the r'yal family. l1l be the duke Of
York"
And I'll be Prince Henry of Bat
tenberg!" 1 cried.
your ignorance pains me, Annie"
said the duke. You'll be Sir Thomas
Upton, that's who you'I be. And
Dickie---"
"Cut 1t out" pleaded Tommy
Don't make bally Joke Of IL. It.