davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

AS I grew older often read strange
stories Of glaciers giving up their dead
after almost half a century, and
made resolve that 1 would make an
endeavor to recover my father. have
seen my other sisters married and
settled down, and also my brother, and
have received enough proposals my
self to keep me from being lonely, but
my whole life has been devoted to the
recovery Of my father The forty year
period was reached last year and we
began to look for results. Three years
ago my fathers granddaughter, Miss
Ethel Randall, who has been as much
interested in the matter Of recovering
the body as have been, went over tc
make arrangements in case my father
should appear, for its disposal.
Consultation with scientific experts
satisfied us that forty years was the
minimum time in which the glacier
might be expected to give up its dead
while the probability was that the
period would be somewhat longer
This opinion was confirmed when the
body did not appear last summer. The
glacier Is now moving and melting
with its maximum rapidity. and am
informed by the experts that the ap-
pearance Of the body during the pres
ent summer is highly probable.
I shall arrive at ChamouniX early In
August, which I have been informed
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

When He Wants Grapes.-"Champ
Clark is rather leery about giving an
opinion nowadays" said one of his
friends in the house press gallery
HE is running for president. He is
much given to the saying that he will
not discuss a subject that everybody
else is discussing.
"Mr. Clark reminds me Of young
lawyer out west. The legal light
would not commit himself on any
subject. Two of his friends, Tom
and John, undertook to make him
take a stand. They went to his office
and incidentally commenced a debate
whether or not a buffalo ate grapes.
"'Of course he eats grapes said
Tom. I saw one climb twenty feet
into a tree to get bunch Of grapes.
What! A buffalo climb tree?'
Yes
What do you think Of that prop
osition-a buffalo climbing a tree to
get grapes-jude?' said John to the
lawyer, who had remained silent ur
to that time.
why, 1 don't know, but there's
no telling what a buffalo will do when
he wants grapes was the reply
Washington correspondence to New
York World.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22
Farm Dairy Wisdom.

An ice house is a good thing if you
can afford it, but you surely can af-
ford cold water from a deep drilled
well to cool the milk.
One herd of Holsteins over in Mich
igan averaged 4S per cent fat on sum-
mer feed; pretty good test, I think.
The dairy farmer must be doubly
careful about weeds in the pasture
They interfere with the production ol
the grass and will taint the milk II
allowed to grow where milch COWS
will eat them.
No person who is affected with
cough or consumption should be al
lowed to care for COWS or milk.
There are no bacteria in the milk
when it comes from the cow. They
get in mighty quick though afterwards
Don't lose the profit on account of
little shortage of feed, when so much
of it can be grown with so little work
and cost.
You will admit that successful dai-
rying demands good COWS for the
foundation. Why not get rid of the
poor ones then?
1t isn't much of a man who will
smoke about the stable or let any
body else do it. 1t is likely to set the
barn afire, then, too, the milk is sc
quick to absorb all bad smells.
We are all forgetful, so let me whis-
per in your ear once more that nobody
ever invented a strainer that would
take the impure matter out of the
milk. You must keep it out, or else
il will never be out. See that the wa
ter supply is pure and abundant. With
a shortage in the water supply there
will be disappointment in the result OF
the dairy. Think of that-Successful
Farming.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

His Saving, Perhaps.-The late Bill
Barlow, editor of the Laramie Boom
erang, believed no less in accurate
than in humorous journalism.
You can't achieve your effect, y
Barlow once said in an address in
Douglas, Wyo., unless you're accu-
rate. Uncertainty and inaccuracy will
spoil the finest effect, whether it be
comic or whether it be pathetic.
IT remember a funeral in Tin Can
The Widow Wagg had lost her third
in a poker dive. George Jones, D. D..
delivered the funeral address, and ar
eloquent and moving address it was
but George, in his inaccurate way
hadn't made sure whether it was hel
third or her fourth that the widow
Wagg was burying.
Hence he spoiled a grand ORATOR
with these concluding words:
"'And now we commend to the di-
vine mercy this widowed handmade
who hath been bereaved again, ant
again, and again
George hesitated, frowned, and
added:
and perhaps again. Human
Life.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

Logic.-A hungry customer seated
himself at a table in quick-lunch
restaurant and ordered a chicken pie.
When 1t arrived he raised the lid and
sat gazing at the contents intently
for a while. Finally he called the
waiter.
Look here. SAM" he said, what
did I order?"
Chicken pie. sab"
And what have you brought me?'
Chicken pie, sah."
Chicken pie, you black rascal
the customer replied. Chicken pie?
Why. there's not piece of chicken in
ii, and never was"
Oats right, boss-dey amt nc
chicken in ii"
Then why do you call it chicken
pie? l never heard Of such thing.
Oats all right, boss. Dey don't
have to be no chicken in a chicken
pie. Dey amt no dog in a dog bis
cult, is dey?"-Everybodys.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22
humorous department.
Outwitting Himself.

In stories that reflect the idiosyn-
crasies of the Irish character, the
smile usually gets the better Of the
sigh. The story below, found in re-
cent number of the Cornhill Maya
zine, is happily illustrative:
An Irish gentleman Of another gen.
Grafton took it into his head that those
in his employment were not serving
him as they ought. more especially IN
the early morning. before any one
was stirring. He determined, there
fore. on a series of matutinal visits.
The second time he went abroad In
the early morning he saw in held'
known as Skinnegan, which bordered
the avenue leading to his residence,
and which had been empty the pre-
vious day, six unknown cattle quietly
grazing.
He promptly drove the offending
animals out of the field and down the
avenue to the gate There some bare
legged boys from an adjacent cabin
lent him ready and joyful assistance;
and at the head of his ragged COM
pany. armed with sticks and branches
he personally conducted the trespass-
ers to the village pound, and saw
them securely shut in before return
4ng, heated and incensed, to break
fast.
That's the way I'm served" he
complained to his family, that lazy
herder Of mine not troubling to mend
my fences, and half the cattle In the
county allowed to trample in and out
of my best grazing places as they
please! Wait till find Master Ned
after breakfast, and I'll give hia the
best dressing down he's ever had in
his life!"
There was, however, no need to go
in search of the delinquent, for before
breakfast was ended a message was
brought in that the herder was with
out, desiring to see the master. Ned
was upon the hall steps, much crest
fallen and alarmed.
I'm sorry to have to tell 1t to your
honor" he began, humbly, but
there's six of your honor's cattle In
the pound. 1 put them in Skinnegan
late last night, an shut the gate on
'em meself an how they got out an
went shtrayin' on me"
He got no farther, for the master,
who had with difficulty restrained
himself until then, beat a hasty de-
treat to the dining-room, where he
collapsed into a chair, and laughed
until his family had fears of an i'm
pending apoplectic seizure.
Thenceforth he gave up his early
inspections, and left the care Of his
property to his underlings.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

is the best time in the year for such a
purpose, as the greatest amount Of ice
and snow will have melted by that
time, before the advent Of colder
weather.
Should I meet with success which l
feel confident will be mine, I shall
have my dear fathers body shipped to
Quincy, where 1t will be placed be-
side that Of my mother in Mount VOL
laston cemetery, under the same head
stone.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

The Green Kinda naval officer
whn has seen considerable service In
South American waters once brought
home two parrots, one Of which he
gave to the housemaid, and the other
to the cook.
For q long time there ensued ami
mated discussions as to the merits Of
their respective birds. Finally, the
housemaid said:
your parrot may be a better tallSer
than mine, though I don't believe It."
Then, with an air of presenting the A.
nal clinching argument in her own ia
yor, she added: Besides, you'll have
to admit that mine has the most beau
tiful foliage."-Lippincott'
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

]. E. Carroll, s. Main st., Yorkville
s. c., says: MY kidneys were disor-
dered and the passages Of the kidney
secretions annoyed me by being irreg-
ular. My back ached and there were
acute pains in my loins. Doan's Kid
ney Pills which obtained at the York
after taking them, my kidneys no long
er troubled me. My experience leads
me to say that Doan's Kidney Pills are
the best remedy to use in cases Of kid
ney complaint"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22
CAROLINA SPECIAL

High Class Electrically Lighted Train
Between Charleston, 8. c., and Gin
cinnati, Ohio. via Southern Railway
and c. N. o. and T. p. Railway, Run
ming Through Columbia, Spartan
burg, Asheville, Knoxville, Hartman
Junction and Lexington, KY, con-
sisting Of flrst-class Coaches, Pull
man Drawing Room Sleeping Car,
Pullman Observation Sleeping Car,
and Dining Car Service.
Solid Between
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22
FACTS AND FICTION
Experiences of Yorkville Citizens Are
Easily Proven to be Facts.

The most superficial investigation
will prove that the following statement
from a resident Of Yorkville Is true.
Read it and compare evidence from
Yorkville people with testimony of
strangers living so far away you can
not investigate the facts of the case
Many more citizens Of Yorkville will
endorse Doan's Kidney Pills.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

Ages in the Bible.-Tommy was a
venturesome lad, but nobody had ever
credited him with sufficient courage to
shake his head in contradiction when
the Sunday school visitor, who wished
to show off his knowledge of Biblical
history, asserted that Sarah, Abra-
hams wife. was the only woman whose
age was recorded in the Bible. Seeing
the disapproving motion OF the little
head in the front row the visitor reit-
Grated:
Sarah was the only woman whose
age is recorded in the Bible"
Then Tommy spoke right up.
There are three more that l know
Of" said he.
Mother. grandmother and Aunt
Lucy" said Tommy.-New York Sun.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22
Eastbound No. 8.

Connecting at Cincinnati with
through trains for Chicago, Cleveland.
Detroit, st. Paul, Seattle, st. Louis,
and points West and Northwest.
e. n. Coapman, v. p. and g. M; s. II.
Hardwick, p. T. M; II. F. Cary, g. p.
A; ]. L. Meek, A. 8. P. A.; w. E. Nc
Gee, D. p. A.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

Sing Ho! Ohio.-Jesse Conway, the
correspondent of the Cleveland Lead
er, tells this one:
The noble battleship Ohio steamed
into Quito harbOr one day and an
chored alongside British ship. Pres
emily the tramp's dingy was lowered
and sailor men rowed out to the bat
tleship. They arrived under the
nameplate and painfully spelled out
the warriors handle. All looked puz-
zled. Finally one Britisher tried 1t
aloud.
"A no and a 'haitch' and 10,
he said softly. "Wot a ell of a name
for a ship!"-Louisville Times.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

For sale by all dealers. Price 80
cents. Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo.
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-DoAN'S-and
take no other.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

II II his folly did not betray the fool,
the detective couldn't make his salt.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22

LIST YOUR PROPERTY WITH ME
IF YOU WANT TO SELL
| am now selling Land very rapidly.
If you are thinking Of buying, IL will
pay you and save you big money to
see my numerous bargains before you
close.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22


died of typhoid fever six weeks after
the marriage. In the early days Of
their honeymoon they had given a
promise that the one who died first
should, if possible, return and warn
the other of approaching death.
MY uncle's grief grew less as time
passed and he married again. His Sec
ond marriage brought him great un-
happiness, but he lived to be an old
man. In the early stages Of his illness
he told my mother the date and hour
of his approaching death.
60 came to me last night he
said, and sat beside me. She told me
that my hour was approaching and that
must prepare to meet her in Heaven.
My uncle died at the exact date and
hour predicted"
Another member Of the party con-
tributed the following experience:
My at-grandmother had made
her home with us for a number Of
years. She was a tiny little woman,
very old as 1 remember her, and in the
habit of reading her Bible almost con-
stantly. At night before retiring she
would kneel beside little table in her
room, read a chapter in her Bible while
on her knees, say her prayers, and then
no word would pass her lips again for
, the night. Many and many a time I
have seen her kneeling there making
her evening supplications.
she moved with daughter to Texas
and had been living in that state for
number of years when one day l en-
tered the room which she had occupied
while with us, and there, kneeling be-
side the little table, her Bible before
her, was my great grandmother. She
smiled at me and pointed upward, and
then seemed to fade into nothingness.
1T was broad daylight and I could
scarcely credit my senses, but told
members of the family and expressed
the belief that grandma was dead. The
following day we received news Of her
death, and she had passed away at the
very hour of her appearance to me.
They said at the last she had smiled
and pointed upward"
In the party was a man of affairs
whose success in business and practi-
cal ways gave weight to the following
contribution:
II never have seen but one ghost.
That was several years ago, before my
mothers death.
II had been fox hunting on clear,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22
Charleston and Cincinnati

Solid Between
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-08-22


the kind. . .Jaier G. R. Rhyme receiv-
ed a telegram this morning from the
officers at CarrOllton, Ga, making in
quiry as to one Dave McGill, a negro.
who is wanted here on charge Of
murder. McGil killed another negro
at Kings Mountain about last Christ
mas and escaped. There is a reward
of $25 for his apprehension. The Car
rollton officers have negro in custody,
but no very satisfactory description
has been given the officers here of
him, so it is not known whether they
have the man wanted in CASTOR or not.
.....A marriage of especial interest
to the many friends of the contracting
parties took place at Belmont last Sun
day when Miss Jessie Eddleman be-
came the bride of Mr.. Floyd Brimer,
the ceremony being performed in the
presence of a few friends by Squire
Castor. The bride is the daughter of
Mr.. and Mrs. c. P. Eddleman of the
LOray mill, while the groom is we'll
known and successful farmer of the
South Point section, where they will
reside. ... Mr.. w. ]. Harper, who re-
sided at No. 534 Harvie avenue, died
last Saturday afternoon in the Bethel
neighborhood, near Glover. He was
visiting relatives in that section and
was stricken with paralysis. Follow
ing funeral services at Bethel church
Sunday the body was inferred in the
Bethel cemetery. Deceased came to
GastOnia several years ago from the
| Bethel section. He was about so years
old and leaves a wife and one daughter
to mourn his death. .... Yesterdays
| Cherryville Eagle says: THE school
board met last Thursday evening and
elected Prof. H. S. Moseby of Indiana,
superintendent of the Cherryville
| Graded schools for the coming year.
The professor comes highly recon-
mended and has made a fine impress
sion while in our midst. The people
here look forward to successful
school year under his management"
Yorkville is having Fits. Gas
tOnia once threw Fitts-out the back
door. To the uninitiated it is only nee
essary to explain that Fits is So
cialist of the anarchistic type and
glories in persecution" 1t furnishes
him oratorical capital in the next town
wherewith to seek the ympathies of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-11-05
George Ade Turns Farmer

'Every little while somebody bobs up and inouires in a tone fraught with much genuine curiosity: Whats become of George Ade?'" writes Fred C. Kelly in the November American Magazine
 "Out in the left boot section of west ern Indiana lie 1890 acres of fertile soil, as black as a buggy curtain, that be- longs to George Ade On Hazelden farm, a beautifully lanscaped but dividend pay ing farm, that comprises about third of his landed possessions, dwells Ade when ever the weather makes farm life seem inviting. Throughout the winter months the dramatst travels-to Europe, Cali fcrnia, the Bernfudas, or wherever the lands of illusion seem to beckon. But along in May or June he usually drifts back to Kentland, Ind, which is his birth place, and hangs around there with his father and brother for a short time, after which he opens up the big old Eng fish home at Hazelden farm, near Brook. Ind, a few miles away. There he will remain, most of the time, until cold weather-a bachelor in a Hoosier Already. In the forenoon he writes, or dictates things for the stage. By noon his days work is done and he devotes himself to his guests-and they are usually present at Hazelden during the summer months. When there's nothing else doing hell ar range a ball game between teams from nearby towns-Brook, Goodlard. Kent land or Ade-the latter named after him. self
 "One may get a good idea of the real character of George Ade from the way he lives, or rather from the locality in which he lives. He could just as easily have big estate on Long Island or Lake George, but he prefers to be a Hoosier. And he likes to be near enough to Chi oago to visit with the old crowd around the Chicago Athletic club, evenings when things are dull down at the farm"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-11-05

out the coin, for every service or atten- tion by the hotel help from the bellboy who carries the gripsack of an incoming guest to his room and hangs on until the rake-off is provided, to the porter who calls cab or carries grip from the doorway to the bus.
 "The public is regarded by one and all, proprietors, clerks, and servants, with only a few exceptions to this rule, as 50 many easy marks.
 For commercial men with trunks, It is proposed to establish in the central section of each city, loft or lofts. d. vided into light clean show rooms. Many Of the hotel sample rooms are In damp and unhealthy basements, as numerous commercial travellers could evidence by doctors bills.
 You can see that we mean business, but in consideration of self-evident fact that your members have failed to prop ely gauge, the depth of sentiment against the iniquitous system of tipping; we will withhold definite action a reasonable time, and If there are no signs in cvi- derce that the hotel proprietors propose to put their help upon self-respecting basis, making them wage earners instead
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-11-05
COMMERCIAL MEN
 DOWN ON TIPPING Propose to Take Drastic Action Against What
 They Call "Hold Up"

Syracuse, N. Y, November 4-(SpeciaD. The commercial travellers are preparing for war against the tipping system, pre- valent in all the large hotels and at many of the lesser ones. The Commercial Tray elers'z National league. an organization Of the officers of the association of ..om- mercial men throughout the United States with executive headquarters at Syracuse, N. Y, has sent the following letter to the state associations of hotel proprie- tors.
 That part of the public patronizing hotels, has wearied of the increasing nui- sance of the tipping system condoned by the hotel proprletors.
 Tripping is an unpopular and un-Ameri- can development of foreign origin that never should have taken root in this country, but has grown with the blunt ing of the public morals, through iSnowl- edge of the existence of graft in politi- cal and other channels.
 'rhe travelling men forced to action in self protection, fully aware of the fact that increased expenses means decreased salary under present business conditions; finding that only one way opens to bring the hotel proprietors to realization that they have underrated the depth of public sentiment against the tipping abuse are preparing to compile lists of private houses where transients can be accom- modated with rooms.
 ''The hotels in the large cities are now mostly run upon the European plan, with rooms s1.50 and up per day This and the high-priced bills of fare, have added an average of $150 day to the expenoe of the travelling man, as compared with former American plan average rates. q have many friends among the hotss men and personally I regret that condi- tions necessitate official action, but I am fully aware of the fact that hotel pro- riietors regard the tipping system from the same viewpoint as the late George Pullman, i.e. That If the people were fools enough to pay the porters, why should the Pullman company do so.''
 "Commercial enterprises dealing with the consumers with the exception of ho- -tels, deliver their commodities over the counters or at the houses. Hotel patrons do not buy hotel commodities in the kitchen, but contract for polite and de- cent delivery upon the table.
 Hotel guests are expected to hand
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-11-05

Of beggars for gratuities, no power on earth can prevent our carrying out the programme of reprisal
 The commercial travellers of the United States spend annually at hotels, for rooms and meals, s325, 100000.
 Tipping of boys, walters and porters: and for checking privileges etc., costs annually s50,OO0,000 and Is separated from the commercial men under more or less compulsion.
 This tipping abuse is regarded as a hold7up, the accommodation being abund- artly paid for.
 Tn these estimates travelling auditors, adjusters, mechanical experts, inspectors and others. who while travelling men are not commercial travellers strictly speak. ing. are not included. For their outlay add 33 1-3 per cent for hotel expenditure and 20 per cent for tips to the above fig- ures. Another class that would como under the head of regular travelers-the theatrical people-would welcome the list oe houses in each of the cities, where tiansients could find accommodations. also the abatement of the tipping evil.
 "P. B. DOWE, Pres. Commercial Travellers National League"