davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
From the New York Tribune.

From the New York Tribune
 PROCTOR KNOTT of Kentucky
 achieved a reputation as con o A gressional humorist which seri- ously interfered with public appreciation of his more substantial qualities as a statesman. In 1868 MT. Knott delivered facetious speech in the House of Rep resentatiyes ridiculing a proposed land grant in aid of a railroad which was to have it's terminus at Duluth, Minn., and apostrophizing that then unborn metropo- lis as "the Zenith City of the unsalted seas" Read now, the speech seen at best only mildly humorous, but it caught the fancy of the hour and put upon an unusually able lawyer and politician the handicap of being regarded by his col leagues and by the country as a fun maker by predilection. That was an un- enviabIe fate, and MT. Knott's carer in Congress suffered from the perversity of the House in not wishing to accept him in any other role than that of sprightly entertainer.
 Others have had the same misfortune. s. S. Cox, an industrious and capable leg islator, had to fight against his own repu- tation as a humorist when he became a candidate for the speakership. The pub lie would not take him seriously because 1t had fallen into the habit of regarding him as mere jester. But there Is a growing recognition of the difference be- tween public men who use humor as a background for serious argument and those who try to be funny merely flor the sake of being funny. When a politician falls into the .latter category he is lost Congress never took John M. Allen oi Mississippi, or William B. Mason of Ill nois for anything but political end men They had their vogue as such, but were practically negligible as legislators. They worked in their natural sphere.
 Speaker Clark Is an example of the pub. lie man who has harnesed his humorous faculty and made it do practical work He is facetious and extravagantly imagi. native at times, but he has always had A serious purpose in his oratory. Another humorist of far greater natural gifts who still made shis influence felt as a leadei in the House was F. w. Cushman o Washington, who died two years ago just as his powers were fully ripenfng. Ht mingled homely humor with genuine ora. tory and would have gone far in public life, for he was fast approaching iona.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
Pumping Out the Maine

General Bixley is possibly nasty in Judgment when he says the wreck of the Maine will furnish no further evidence of the manner in which the battleship was detroyed. The lower portions of the hulk are steel under water, and neither experts nor any one else can at present study all parts of the hulk.
 The Maine was suddenly sent to the bottom of Havana harbor on Febru- ary 15, 1898, at $40 o'clock at night. Two officers and 264 of the crew perished.
 After the war with Spain had been ended a naval court, headed by Cap tain Sampson, sat twenty-three days in an effort to ascertain how the bat tleship was sunk. The court sent down divers and heard all possible evidence, and in the end it reported, as follows: Tn the opinion of the court the Maine was destroyed by the explosion of submarine mine which caused the partial explosion of two or more of the forward magazines. ' There the case stood about thirteen years. The bottom plating remains, however, to be examined, and the direction in which the sheets are bent should determine where the force that
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
THE DRAMA IN 101O-1D11

Matthew White, Jr., in Munsey's Nigga
 zine.
 The theatrical year which began last August was entered on with no little trepidation by the New York managers. Playhouses were too plentiful. good plays were scarce. and competition from other forms of amusement-automobile motion pictures, and the opera-was keen. And the outcome has Justified the managers in their fears. Failure followed failure, one of the most prominent among the American producers scoring as high as 15 during the season.
 The New Theater did not escape. Early in April the beautiful house fronting Cen tral park was abandoned as being too large for its purposes and too costly to maintain, and the institution will inter- init its New York performances until another home is built, on a smaller scale in the Times Square district.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
Tariff Revision to Date

The business of revising the tariff has been skilfully started by Chair man Underwood and the House demo- crats who stand solidly behind him. They have had the courage of their convictions and to their courage has been added skill, and today their record may be regarded as practically flawless. Not for one minute have they wavered. They first passed the reciprocity bill and then they passed the Free List bill, and later the wool en bill. All three are before the Sem ate to the great confusion of stand patters and insurgents alike, and of privilege in particular.
 These bills have all been forced out of the hands of the Senate finance committee by the aid of Is insurgents, and today the republicans of all shades of opinion in the Senate do not know whether they are a-foot or a-horseback. Every day of delay in the Senate over the three bills now squarely before the Senate convinces thousands of voters of the real intent of the republican party, backed, as it eyer is, by the forces of privilege. The man with a family to support who is waiting for lower prices becomes daily more angry by the delay and the politicating which are going on in the Senate over the three House bills that came straight from the hands of Chairman Underwood.
 MT. Underwood's real victory con- sists in the uncovering of the false pretences of one sort or another of the various cliques of the republican party. Before the matter is rounded up the position of the President with his Winona speech still fresh in the popular mind may also stand fully ex- posed. The tariff board pretence will not go far in the minds of the men who desire above all else lower prices for the necessaries of life. The tariff board is simply an excuse, or rather means for obstructing tariff revision desired by the people. The democrats want action on outrageous rates. The republicans plead the tariff board which they appointed and control. All the people cannot be fooled all the time and the tariff board pretence for deferring revision will deceive no one, while it will fill with indignation additional voters by the thousands.
 This may account in part at least for the muddled condition of the Sen ate. No party is in power in the Senate. The standpatters have been upset. The insurgents are but bal ance of power, and the democrats are in the minority. What the outcome will be no one knows except that the republicans stand fully exposed and the indignation of the ultimate con- sumers is constantly increasing, and the campaign of 1912 is near at hand
 The democrats have nothing to lose so well has Chairman Underwood done his great work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
X Very Dark Street

There are many streets in Birmingham that are insufficiently lighted at night, but I doubt if there is any street quite so dark as West Twentieth, along its en- tire length-that is to say, from Park avenue to Eighth avenue" said a resident of that thoroughfare.
 "As the street parallels Capitol park it is particularly attractive as a residence street. It Is quite a thoroughfare and it should be well illuminated at night. There is not single public light on West Twentieth street, and as the sidewalk is we'll shaded with trees the darkness at night, when the moon is not visible. is peculiarly intense. It is thick blackness. Capitol park is not well lighted, and the few arc lamps there do not help West Twentieth. I hope the commissioners will take this matter up without further de-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
FAME.

Who dreams a dream of glory
 Had better first make sure He has heart that never tires,
 A soul that can endure; And hope to keep him in the fight
 Until the goal Is won, If on the morning hills of light,
 Or by the setting sun. Who dreams a dream of glory,
 Who wants to wear crown, Must able be without despair
 To dwell in Trouble Town To meet misfortune day by day
 With calm, unf1inching eye; And should a phantom guard the way,
 He must know how to die.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
THE DREAM OF HOME

By Thomas Moore. Who has not felt how sadly sweet The dream of home, the dream of home, Steals OCT the heart too soon, too fleet, When OCT the sea or land we roaml Sunlight more soft may o'er us fall. To greener shores our bark may come; But far more bright, more dear than all, That dream of home, that dream of
 home. As of the sailor youth when far His light bark bounds OCT oceans
 foam,
 What charms him most when evenings
 star Smiles OCT the wave? To dream of
 home.
 Fond thoughts of absent friends and
 loves
 At that sweet hour around him come: His hearts best joy, where CT he royes - That dream of home. that. dream of
 home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
A MOVING LAND
From the Scientific American.

From the Scientific American.
 One of the broad slopes of Mont Grin- guez. France. is reported to have become detached from its foundations, and to have moved over a distance of nearly a quarter of a mile. carrying with 1t the soil, meadows and woods. and covering up in its passage roads and bridges that stood in the way A chestnut grove has travelled 800 feet without suffering any apparent damage, but many small lakes have been xofmed by the damming of the waters,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

bent them was located. General Blk
 by left Havana before all the water had been pumped out, and many feet of it still remain inside the coffer dam. It is too early to say that the tangled mass has ne evidence to of- fer in a mysterious case.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
The State Fair

'It used to be that Birming gham's state fairs attracted people only from a radius of 50 or 50 miles, but in re- cent years visitors have come from ev- cry part of the state." said a travelling man.
 T remember that the fairs eight or ten years ago were small in the way of agricultural exhibits and in the way of shows. But few cities in the country have had better fairs than that of last year and the year before, and I un- derstand that this year the fair will be better still. It stands to reason that in years when crops are excep- tionally abundant the crowds attend ing the fair will be unusually large. According to the crop situation today this will be Alabama's banner crop year."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
A PRorEsr

Lawyers stand up in courthouses be- Ioie jurors. m the presence of large audi ences and denounce men as liars. scoun
 drels, thieves and perjured Villains and when court adjourns the men appear to narbor no i'll will against mem. But let a newspaper faintly intimate aat mans character is blemished and he has to face horse pistol, stand trial or suf- Ter what the people think te.be the great est Of all mortiflcations-lose subscriber
 Why, we would like to ask, has a lawyer any more right to tell the truth about man than an edltor?''--Alien Enterprise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 A girl seems to be crazy to have red huir, unless she has it.
 Theory can start man, but he'd bet ter finish on horse sense
 man doesn't call 1t deceiving his wife if his excuse works.
 There's not enough money to make all people millionairess so most of them have nore at all.
 A man wants to spend big money on having a good time off somewhere. es- refially if he could have a better at home for nc thing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

From 'Recollections, Grave and Gay" by
 Mrs. Burton Harrison, in the July Scrib-
 ner.
 5. so as 3as s.T 2a,s ~s. tsst
 W the earliest seventies, just when the waves of after-the-war prosperity had begun to strike its sides and make it feel the impalse toward progress never aft erward to cease!
 Broadway, a long, unlovely thorough fare, was filled with huddled buildings monotonous in line and tint Union and Madison Squares were enclosed in high railings, removed in 1871. their grass and trees, as now. a great relief to the eye in passing. Fifth avenue. fringed on either side with telegraph poles, was abomina- ply paved with irregular blocks of stones, so that drive to the park or away uptown to Fiftieth street" was accom- panied by much wear and tear to the physical and nervous system. The cele- brated and delightful Dr. Fordyce Barker used to say he actually could not recom- mend convalescent patient to take the air, because of the necessary jolting in a carriage in any direction away from the residential quarter. Apart from the dis comfort, the noise of continuous passage
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
ALL UPSET.

Who looks into a pair of eyes
 Until his head he loses, And bout the girl doth rhapsodize,
 From sAy-piece to her "shoesies," conducts himself, till folly flies,
 AS he were full of liquor; AIu when at last he gets more wise,
 we wish he'd done it quicker.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
Texas and It's Prohibition Campaign

l Texas and It's Prohibition Campaign
 q spend a considerable part of my time in the south every year and have been somewhat familiar, therefore with prohibition campaigns" said Edward A. Hoyt of Illinois. T spent last week in Texas. where a statewide prohibi- ton campaign has been in progress Tor some time. The election will be held next Monday. What has impressed me especially in the Texas contest is the absence of lie feverish excitement that characterized campaigns in Alabama, Tennessee, Florida and Missouri The pronlvitionists in the Lone Star state are doubtless in earnest in their efforts to do away with local option but they are not making the noise that I had been accustomed to.
 "I am not political prophet enough to forecast the result Some of my prohibi.,onF friends said they would have substantial majority, and anti prohibitionists made similar claims for their side of the question. I am in clined to think that local option will remain, but political issues are very much mixed in Texas and as prohibit lon enters ldrSeiy into politlSs S"'i see that it is quite possible for the state-wders to win.
 "If the radical element, which in cludes state-Yide prohibitionists, should win it would be only question of time, just as it was in Alabama, when an- other campaign will be on to undo what the extremists did. Texas is one of the best of states. It is especially prosperous now, but statewide prohl- bitione would hurt. Any frenzied or extreme political action Is always reck- oned with by capital. Statutory prohi- bition comes under the head of fren- zied politics, and if the business men of Texas know what is good for them. and believe they do. they will make a mighty effort to keep down the pro- hibitionists next Monday"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
THE PRESIDENT OF PORTUGAL

From the Boston Transcript.
 Success to President Braamcamp of Portugal! His full name which he has not yet written clearly enough on the an- nals of fame to make it familiar to the world, is Anselmo Braamcamp Freire. According to the custom of the country, he has dropped one of his names in com- mon usage. Freire has a Portuguese sound, whereas Braamcamp hints of Teu- tonic blood, as may well be the case. since families from northern lands are found here and there all over Latin Eu- rope. His highest position heretofore has been that of president of the Lisbon municipal council, and he steps from the city hall to the capitol. He may not be a medocrty, but he stands as> contrast with Theophile Braga. the provisional president, who at least as a scholar and writer was of international repute long before the revolution made him the lead CT of the republic X
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

It is proposed to give John Hays Ham, mond an official welcome home with a ride up Broadway in circus wagon. In this way it is hoped he can get back to plain living without losing all hope.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

In New York figure of the perfect man is to be placed in every school. Here is a chance for John Hays Ham mond in Knickerbockers,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

Duluth as the zenith city of the unsalt- ed seas should erect a monument to Proctor Knott, for 1t was he who first made it famous.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

Apostle Smith of the Mormon church has many families and he surely should not be blamed for trying to get his sugar at reduced rates.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
HUMORISTS IN CONGRESS

than P. Deliver in felicity and effective- ness as a public speaker. MT. Deliver was not a humorist, however, and had no reason to regret that fact. The way of the professed funmaker, like that of the transgressor, is hard. The first downward step is seldom successfully retraced.
 Undoubtedly MT. Knott lived to regret the facetious outbreak which made both himself and Duluth famous. for it tied him up with a reputation which undoubt- edly impeded his rise to that leadership in the House which his other sterling qualities would easily have earned.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

The Georges are on top in England The Fifth George has a crown and Lloyd George is about to win place in history in connection with the veto bill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

ratus of Fost people. the fellow who can only see the hole in doughnut must be a boss optimist."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
MY1.DLY INTEREsTED

From the washington Herald.
 What was that uresome old explorer talking about?" the languid woman asked.
 progressive Patagonia"
 And how do you play itr'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

The fact Is recorded in Illinois that Lee man who was we'll loaded up with poodle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

Mrs. Carrie Chapman Catt has no apol- ogles to make on her own account She planes her name on her husband
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

Congressman Hobson's vote on the proposition to entertain Admiral Togo is awaited with interest
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

John Hays Hammond is coming back from all that splendor to put on pants and to be sued by MT. Sully.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
AIMING.

A poet who warbled Of 'beautifu days" Has lately been heard to complain. Whenever without an umbrella he strays By Jovei he gets caught in the rain
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

It is plain Alfred Austin did mislay his coronation ode.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
CALEB STRUCK FOR uo,,r

SALEB STRUCK FOR HOME
 The methods of the gamblers who fol- low the small circuses must undergo cer tain amendments to suit the ei,o,,n,- stances. In small towns, the presence or cappers may be recognized or s,,s- pected, and it is frequently essential to dlsarm suspicion by the substitution of local talent. There is always a young man to the manor born who can be in- Veigled into assuming these duties. Some times he is actually paid a small desider- atum Often he is satisfied with the glory of posing as a successful snort he- fore the confreres with whom he loafs at the local barber shop. But where tha native bait is used as "eome-alongn he must submit to constant espionage. "On one occasion" says an old "confidencet, man, "1 had picked out a tall and typical country lad green and gawky from the blow, to win money at the three-shell game. thought it would convince his neighbors how easy it was If Caleb could peat, the game, who couldn't? supplied Caleb with dollar He nlayed and won. He continued to win and the moral effect on his friends was splendid. ihey played, too. But Caleb was morally unstable When he had run his dollar up to S1S. the homesickness struck him and he did a Marathon. Three men chased hlm almost mile before they overlook him Even then he fought gallantiy for his spoil but the canvasmen took tbe money away and maued him without mercy They were overcome with just indigr alton. The idea of such 5eprayi as Caleb had exhibited in trying to cheat us, shocked these brusers beyond ex- pression From Tainted Tents" in tbs July Metropolitan Magazine.
 HAD ENOUGH.
 He ne'er would on
 A picnic go.
 It seems he went
 One time, you know.
 PATTI. Cnnrr
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

Queen Mary never lost her nerve, never grew weary, and never asked if her crown was on straight. Great woman, that.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

Ex-Senator Hopkins barrel was filled with apples, while Lorimer's was filled with the root of all evil.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

A Rhode Island judge has decided that a photographer has a right to snapshot anybody.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

The girl who desires to be a June bride should work overtime.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
DISTRESSING CA

Eve heard of hen-pecked husbands" ---"Wen?"
 But poor Binges is the worst hem pecked man I ever saw "Why SOP"
 His wife makes him stay at home and mind the baby on Saturday afternoon while she goes to the ball game"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
EXAGGERATED.

High art advertising Is being carried to extremes.'
 "why so?" 'I saw an illustrated advertisement of table water in a magazine, in which the waiter looked just like Kyrle Bellew.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

Az soon as Uncle Joe took a stand against reciprocity it was billed to go through.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

The times may try mems souls, but the Chicago packers will be tried in the courts of law.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

England has fallen back to rest her eyes. Some things are too spectacular.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

There are binder senators than Senator Gore among the old guard of the senate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

AU FAT.
 When drinking always be polite and modest says Vivienne Lang, who has constituted herself a mentor to those members of the fair sex who wish to go the alcoholic route. Quite right. Vivienne. Perfect ladies" never begin to imbibe without first saying, Here's ',o- 'Day-days," or some other such happy expression
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
SPOKE TOO SOON

Have you ever seen pink and green monkeys?
 Certainly not"
 "Then you are all right.' Not so fast. I once saw a couple that were skyblue."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

A single cargo of 100000 frecrackers from China is about to be landed in New York
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

In the by-and-by the Senate perhaps will take final vote on the reciprocity bill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
A SAFE SURMISE.

T see where rich man has married a soubrette who reflected a spotlight into his eyes with a mirror while she was singing a song"
 What conclusions do you draw from that?"
 "She evidently dazzled him."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

ganization?" Mr. Helm inquired. "No." General Wood replied. everything went very smoothly" 9
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
STILL HE SINGS

Poor Alfred Austin gets a rap
 From countless punsters every day: Almost enough 10 prove, mayhap,
 That writing potry doesn't pay.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

The man who wore seersucker coat where is he?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
A DIZZY 6anT.

Let's go joy-riding, Mayme.'
 Not unless you promise to take every curve on two wheels, George"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
ON THE OTHER uAND

ON THE OTHER HAND. "A pessimist, we are told, is a per- son who can see nothing but the hole in a doughnut''
 Judging from the evil effects the rim of doughnut has on the digestive appa-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
ONLY THEN

ONLY THEN. A true fan he Who never grins, Unless. of course, The home team wins.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29

It is called joy-riding, and this of itself promotes it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-29
NEW YORK IN THE SEVENTIES

From 'Recollections, Grave and Gay" by Mrs. Burton Harrison, in the July Scrib-