davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21
hUAOR or THE DAY

We'll. is Mrs. De Style making an hon
est living at her dressmaking?" Shes
had to- since they stopped smuggling op-
erations. Baltimore American.
''Why is the British Unionist who op-
poses home rule like the congressional in
Because they can't stand Pat."-Balti-
more American.
Lady (wanting some wallf1owers for
warriors? New Assistant dnexper-
fenced in floral ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ma am, our foreman has two boys in the
scouts.-Punch.
'And what did papa say when you ask
ed him for my hand?" I'D gladly tell
you, but I'm afraid you'd never respect
his opinion any more."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
HAS your wife perception of humor?"
tired look she always has when start
to tell joke shows that she recognizes
it at once. Star.
Mamma. who is 'at funny mani"
THAT, my child, is a policeman "Why
does he frow out his tummy?'' Hush
child! He thinks that is his Chest
Judge.
Tell me-" said the newly rich lady. as
they they were discussing points Of pronuncia-
Rhone'? I hear 1t both ways."-Christian
Register.
what kind of Christmas presents does
Balder give?'' Excellent. Why, some of
those he gave ten years ago are still go
ing the rounds as bridge prizes."-Life.
Those Kentucky feuds are terrible
affairs said the New Yorker. Eyes"
replied the Louisville man; "but their
manifestation are only occasional and
thew don't give the un1frl
trouble than taxicab strike.'-Washing-
ton Star.
Yes" said Mrs. Lapsling, Johnny is
getting along splendidly at school He
has almost finished alimentary arithme-
tic.'-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

Iron the New York Pressl
Giving advice is an easy way to bor-
row trouble.
Even toothless person may indulge
in biting sarcasm
It's harder to discover a friend than
It is to locate an enemy.
But a man is seldom cool when he
shivers in the hour of danger.
If a widow has sense she doesn't
use it for bait when angling for No. 2
And a woman loves to have her hus-
bands Judgment go wrong so that she
can say: 81 told you so.''
Somehow the average man dislikes
to kill dog, therefore he is reason
ably sure to have one that he is will
ing to give away.
When a widow faces the parson the
second time with a man and promises
to love- honor and obey, she usually
has her fingers crossad-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

with your two-thirds majority. So
we're going to fight in the courts"
ST will get a temporary Injunction
to prevent its becoming operative. The
case will go to the supreme court, II
necessary
mot on the city's money!" growled
one of the councilmen.
Then on my own, or on funds
raised by public subscription. This is
a personal matter with me. I'm go
ing to beat the telephone company.
Furthermore, you've passed this
franchise, and I may have to send
some of you gentlemen to jail. You
gave $4,000 to get that valve factory
here-and bonuses are against the
state law.
IT shall have to declare the last tax
levy illegal. You can't collect cent
of it. That will bankrupt the city and
beat you for reelection. The council
proceedings of the meeting at which
the budget was adopted are not IN
proper FORM"
Colonel SLOVENIAN knew when he
was beaten, and he was sportsman
enough to yield gracefully.
"Your honor" he said with smile, :"
''the Derwent Telephone Company has
no desire to plunge the city in htiga-
ton. Mr.. Sharp seems prejudieed
against our new franchise. We with
draw it from consideration. 1t will
not be presented again"
He was sitting at the door when
Sharp came out.
young man." he said, you have
euchred me out of 100000"
I'm sorry, Colonel"
+You did it fairly. Wen forget it.
And I want you to come up to the
house, same as ever.
THANK you. SIR
The colonel smiled grimly. He
slipped his arm through the younger
mans. 'T1he women folks are out in
the machine. Come and say hello"
When Cecil Stoneman extended her
hand over the side of the car. youth
full audacity ran through Tommy's
veins like fire. He raised the hand to
his lips.
You saw something like that in a
picture show, didn't your" asked the
girl in mock reproof.
While the car sped homeward she
was silent. The back of her hand,
where Tommy had kissed it, she held
caressing1y against the soft, warm
whiteness of her. where neck and
shoulder Joined. 1t gave her feeling
of exquisite content. = Copyright,
1911, by Associated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21
GLOBE SIGHTS.
TFrom the Atohison Glob'

TFrom the Atchison Globe.l
Changing your ways is cheaper
than a change of climate, and usually
will do more toward improving your
health. ia
fashioned family which used chairs
for wagon seats Wnen lhey "0As ~
town Saturday?
In svupathizing with the under
dog, don't forget that it might nave
been the one to start the hght. ana
that both can't win.
It is lucky for Daughter, IL most
of her education has been devoted 10
acquiring culture" that she never
has occasion to cash it In.
If a man feels rich when he gets
drunk, he is never apt to feel that
way when sober enough TO know what
he is thinking about.
Count MCGOWAN doesn't like GER
tain man. ct wouldn't pour water IN
his mouth if his stomach was on fire,
the count said recently.
If all rich men were only worth as
much as people say they are 1t would
be strong reason for a redistribution
of the assets of the country.
Nearly everyone stands prepared to
tell railroad how it ought to spen a.
its money, and a newspaper what II
ought to print.
We gather from the fashion pages
that about the customary expanse or
chicken-slxin elbow is going to be ex-
posed to the public gaze this year.
If the town won't fall for the aver
age mans scheme he never thinks of
blaming himself. Goodness. no! He
blames the town and its newspapers.
People may be slow in some re-
spects, but they frequently notice a
reduction in wholesale prices before
the retail dealer tells them about it.
A town boy has about as much
reason for wanting to come down town
after supper as a farmers dog has for
wanting to follow him to town.
A baseball fan isn't properly enthu-
siastic unless he believes the weather
man should neglect the corn in the
interest of the great American game.
A woman who imagines beefsteak
should be cooked like speclSled trout,
has something more important to
learn than who wrote Shakespeare
plays.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21
FROM OTHER PENS
ARGENTINA's MISFORTUNE.

There appears to have come a break
In the great prosperity of Argentina,
because the cattlemen and farmers in
that republic have suffered from a
to be far below the average, and the
farmers have no longer use for the
large forces of laborers they have
hitherto employed. The prolonged
dry weather has made the prices of
fruits and vegetables extremely high
in the city of Buenos Ayres and milk
has advanced to about 16 cents per
quart. Bankers and business man
there are anxious over. the outlook be-
tween now and the next crop season.
The prosperous times. of the last five
years have drawn many thousands of
italian and Spanish laborers into Ar
gentina and with the lessened demand
for their work great numbers of them
are returning to their native countries.
Agriculture is the great dependence of
that country and until another season
of good crops comes to its relief there
must be depression in commercial and
financial affairs. The year 1909 was
the banner one in Argentina business
records. Last year witnessed a dimin-
ution in the value of the exports, and
the present years imports and exports
are likely to fall far below those of
1910. 1t is also to be expected that
the great loss of cattle reported and
poor condition of those remaining will
affect the European markets, which
have been of late years so largely
served from the farms and fields of
the South American republic.-Sprirg-
field Republican.
CAMPAIGN PROMISE GUARANTY
The town of Alton, ILL.,, seems des-
tined to fame through its mayors. A
former one serving in the legislature
achieves notoriety by fathering the So
called stork bill to pay cash for new
born infants, and now a candidate for
the office deposits $500 cash in bank
to bind his promise to close all saloons
on the Sabbath If elected.
This ambitious patriot seems to
have suggested something worth
while. We do not know but it would
be good thing to exact similar Sc
eurity OF all candidates for Office. Per
haps the public would be able to real
ize better on their investments If the
officeholder were bound by a cash con-
sideration. 1t is only strange that
with all the flow of statesmen in the
republic it should have been withheld
SO long from practical test. No man
who has given thought to the nature
and conditions of politics may doubt
for moment the utmost feasibility
of the plan. Some of the hypercriti-
cal may fear its fruftfon because of
the obtrusion of other less loftily in
spired office seekers; perhaps that
jealous city councilmen or police off,
Gals might obstruct the mayors per-
formance. Or some sordid soul might
even say that special interests, that
work Gin a mysterious way their won
ders to perform" in politics might find
1t practicable to reimburse the mayor
and let him forfeit his money.-Oma-
ha Bee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21
KAMSAy COMMENT
A BUMPER KANSAS CROP.

Reporls from the educational CEN
lers OF Kansas indicate that the pros
pect Tor bumper yield of graduates
- unusually good this year and, bar
me danger that several may be
CUT on by the late frosts of final lex
ans, the crop will be fine one
Eaeans or praise have been sung for
Tue pounteous yields of corn, wheat.
oats and potatoes, in the Sunfiower
eIelS, tributes IN prose and verse to
81 1aiIa, rhogs and helpful hens have
oLt neen made; but here is a crop of
whlcn Kansas can be and is Justly
proud, a crop of which the states
sing N'- -''-'- -
Figured from a material side alone,
the value of such a Weld Of praduates
Is measurable. In the first place, the
framed worker has a greater none
lazy Vaiue TO the community than the
unskfIled, for his earning power is
many times greater. Then, too, the
service ne can render to his city. state
and nation is commemorative larger
and the value Of the hundreds of
young college men and women, who
are now going forth to take their place
IN the world, to fill positions in the
traoes, IN the professions, on the farm,
cannot be set down in figures because
such people can influence the world
Tor good in many ways that cannot be
computed.
But the value of a college education
cannot be measured purely from a
financial standpoint. The acquisition
OF knowledge, the training to work eff
Iectually and efficiently, the culture
that comes from association with
oroad, scholarly men and women of
nigh ideals, these are some of the feat
ures that should be considered and in
them 1t will be found that one of the
ch1ef values of a higher education lies.
Times
AS TO MINISTER'S SALARIES
The question of the average of min
1sters' salaries is again to the front.
One way to increase salaries in many
communities is by having fewer
churches. If in place there are six
or eight struggling churches trying to
DO IN a weak, unsatisfactory way what
two strong churches could effectively,
the salaries of preachers are sure to
De close down to the starving point.
But the way out may rest very largely
with ministers themselves. If some of
them would but follow the example
which, it is said, some poets and
actors have set, that of farming, it
might be gain all around. Anyway
the pulpit is not the only place in
which man may serve God and his
fellowmen.-Selden Independent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21
JOURNAL ENTRIES

It's possible to cure children of
many things by a directed laying
on of hands
Even the Lord must get trifle tired
listening to some of the prayers offer
ed up to him.
The more money some folk have
the less they seem to spend. That's
probably why they have so much.
y
No matter how fond a man may be
of walking. he never misses a chance
to take an automobile ride.
Not a few people wouldn't be at all
contented unless they had two or three
troubles, imaginary or otherwise, to
worry about.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21
Rogers Old Balloon.

Gus Rogers balloon which he used
in his fight from the Common to Bos-
ton light nearly twenty years ago when
he lost his life was destroyed during a
fire in Maiden yesterday afternoon.
While this balloon was circling the
lighthouse with Rogers. Delos Gold
smith, a newspaper man. and one other
passenger, a storm came up suddenly
and the balloon descended rapidly.
The accident was seen by the crew of a
vessel and they sailed to the aeronaut's
assistance, but all but Goldsmith were
drowned before the vessel could reach
fhem-RoSton TRANSCRIPT.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

kill the most flies during the cunning
season for them? It's a trifie strange,
too, that it never occurred to the leg
islature to pass a law compelling the
counties to pay bounty on all the fly
scalps turned in to the county clerks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Girls and women should forget all
about fashion, says Mrs Robert Bur-
dette, who is an exponent of ''the re-
vised simple life" And this state
7nent shows her to be running a close
second to her husband who is some
thing of humorist. For what in the
world would girls and women have to
think about if they did not devote
their attentions to the fashions?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Who would have thought it? A New
Jersey legislative committee has ac-
tually found evidence of illegal vot-
ing and vote buying at the last election
in the land of the mosquito.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

What's become of Walter WelIman,
he who tried to sail to Europe in an
airship? The betting is even he is
busily engaged in perfecting plans to
journey across the Pacific in a bicycle
boat or on the tail of a kite
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Another vexed and highly import
ant question has been brought to the
fore again. How did General Morgan,
the confederate leader and five of his
staff. escape from the Ohio peniten-
tiary on November IT. 1863. AS soon
as Dave Leahy gets through counting
the trees In Kansas 1t might be well
for him to devote his attention to this
matter
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

It's only the federal government that
really has money to burn. And no less
than $S,OOo,ooo in bills that were tattered
and torn have recently been tossed into
a furnace by Uncle Sam.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Some twelve year old butter has
been sent to Mr.. Coburn, the secretary
Of the state department of agriculture.
Oodoriferously speaking. ripe limburger
Is as a rose compared to it. And here
tofore It was not believed that Mr.
Coburn had single enemy in Kansas
or any other part of the world.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

There will be no trouble about their
heirs meeting the funeral expenses of
the aviators of this country during
the coming season. Prizes aggregat-
ing $1,25o,0OO have been hung up for
aviation meets to be held during the
next few months in the United States.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

If Mr.. Bush. the newly elected
president of the Missouri Pacific, is
familiar with the conditions on the
line and the affairs of the company, as
George Gould, says he is, he not only
knows that they are in pretty poor
shape but he is also an unusually
brave man to undertake their man
peeroent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

If the members of the Democratic
majority in the house of representa-
tives are successful in their endeavors 10
cut down the expense Of maintaining
the army. great, indeed. will they show
themselves to be.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

The big combination that has been
formed to drive the yeggmen, the
thugs and the hoboes out of Kansas,
or put them behind the bars where
they will be hors de combat, is woe
fully deficient. No b1oodhounds are in
ats personnel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Money prizes are to be awarded to
the school children in Kansas City,
wichita and Topeka, who write the
best essays on the fly evil Wouldn't
it be a more ef3cacious plan to give
such prizes to the boys and girls who
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Some families assured1y get more
than their share of the honors that
the world has to bestow. Charley Taft
has been appointed water-boy to the
baseball nine of the school he is at
fe1dipo
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Mexico's new ambassador to the
United States is also something of an
optimist. He is sure that peace will
be restored in Mexico before long.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
[From the New York Press

IFTom the New YORK Press.I
Cocktail appetite, calomeI liver.
A girls first beau was usually three.
An expert is a fellow who gets your
money for advising you how to do a
thing he can't do himself
A woman would rather know how to
improve her complexion than have
the right to be elected President.
It takes a hundred times as much
effort for a man to. convince a woman
he doesn't love her as to convince her
she loves him
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

The great white way project is a go.
"A majority of the property owners on
Kansas avenue have signif1ed their
Willingness to install the system. To-
peka is beginning to get there with
both feet
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

After all there doesn't seem to be
much Of originality to the Socialists,
Victor Berger, their representative in
congress. declares that the federal
constitution is ''antiquated and obso-
LETT
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Something real in the way of a ham
mer club is holding a meeting in
Washington. The state biologists are
in annual convention there.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Not much is being heard these days
about the moving picture men who
have the concessions for the Mexican
revolution. But they are likely as
busy as bees
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

The State journal Ia q member Of the
AegOctated Press and receives the full day
gGnizaf1on for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news Is received in The State Jour
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

$ New York is the center of civiliza
tion.'' SO called; in that state the
electrocute criminals-but, occasionally
they still hang a jury.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

News note: Joe Dolley our prominent
contractor, is now engaged in erecting
a grandstand In Mitchell county.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

The money a man might save If he
didn't have any bad habits, wouldn't
be Of any use to him If he didn't have
them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

If YOU want to be forever rid of
friend, take him I'D On IL the mex
time he invites you to point out hi
faults.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Bashful colored girl has the advan
tage of the white girl with the sam
failing. 1t doesn't show on her.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Stubs has warned the Kansas Yegg-
men to beat 1t, and it is to be hoped
that they pay more attention to the
warning than do the Mexican soldiers
to the warning issued by Taft.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Some times the Mexican scrappel
throw away their arms-but they hay
always found better use for their leg
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU that
there are more flies now than there
were before screens were invented, be-
fore fly paper was invented and before
Doc Crumbine was invented?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

Some men are like the electric but
ton; they raise a disturbance when
pushed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

% Ute WdIuIIlg ISSUED Dy IdLL.
Every once in a while some simp
attempts to furnish an alibi for the
English Sparrow; the latest is that the
sparrow eats the scale parasite. But
we hold that the sparrow stands con-
victed, and the evidence is all in and
the case closed.
Down in Coffeyville, a man was fined
Just $25 for stabbing a poor old livery
horse with pocket knife. CoffeyviIle
perchance you forget the location. is
the place where they referred to it as
IAN act of heroism'' when a citizen,
safely intrenched behind the corner Of
house, shot a 16-year-old boy who
was trying to save his bank-robber
brother.
Some men are like the electric but
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-21

The latest is from Hon Macarthur
Perhaps we will print it tomorrow.
Rather than break it too suddenly to
the gentlereader, we announce: Leon
is willing to meet Ponce in deadly COM
bat. An effort will be made to stage
it so that the suffering public may see
Ponce Ponce Leon. (HELPD and Leon
punch de Ponce. Date indefinite.
Dryden said:
"Great wits are sure to madness near
allied.
And thin partitions do their bounds
divide
In looking over today's assortment
we feel that, perchance Dryden is right
and correctly quoted, this department
is in no immediate danger of conflne-
ment in the boob hatch
H G. p
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1911-10-17
PRoeREssIvss IN CONFERENCE

Chicago, H., Oct. 16.-The progress.
i've Republican conference in this city
promises to be the big event of the
week IN the world of politics. Already
number of the progressive leaders
have arrived in town and by tomorrow
morning it is expected that there will
be a great showing of Republicans
from all sections ready to join the
movement to defeat President Taft
for denomination. A number of gov
ernors, senators and representatives
are scheduled to participate. The os.
tensible purpose of the conference is
to guage the extent of the progress.
I've movement and to lay plans for the
future of the organization, but as vir.
tually all of the active spirits in the
round up are intimate friends and sup
porters of La Toilette 1t is surmised
that the real object of the gathering
is to give impetus for the boom of the
Wisconsin senator for the Republican
presidential nomination.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1911-10-17
DRY FARMING CONGRESS MEETS

Colorado Springs, Colo, Oct. 16.-
With delegates present from nearly
all of the states of the union and from
several of the privinces of Canada,
the sixth International Dry Farm
ing congress opened here today. The
sessions will continue until Friday,
and during that time much important
action is expected to be taken look
ing toward the reclamation of the vast
unsettled territory of the west that
but awaits the application of the dry
farming methods to blossom and bear
| fruit.
Among the speakers at the congress
will be governors of states, presidents
and professors OF agricultural colleges.
experts of the United States depart
ment OF agriculture and many prom
inent farmers and business men. In
connection with the congress there
are to be conferences of farm women
and of agricultural educators. Anoth.
er important feature of the gathering
is mammoth exposition of dry farm.
| ed products and agricultural machin-
cry. Salt Lake City and Lethbridge
Albert, are applicants for the con.
gress to be held next year.