Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19

minutes ago I nearly tainted with sur
1 prise, but the presence Of that man
| Lawrence brought f. all back to me.
/ Say. John, he has the most marvellous
capacity / ever heard tell Of. Oh!
how my head hurts, and feel so sick!
/ found the door locked and I'm afraid
/ broke one Of the windows before l
got out. Is Aunt Martha worried
about me?"
/ opened the salve box and Gained
| him down. Not a soul is WISE"
explained. Just tell them you were
detained at the race track looking
over some horses that you suspected
were not being treated humanely, and
that will square you. sure"
John, my boy!" Uncle Peter muir.
INJURED as we drew near the door,
You've saved ny l.fe and I'll not for.
get It,"
The prodigal was warmly vel
coined. The explanation of the cause
of his delay was eminently satisfac.
tory to all concerned and Joy would
/ have gone into the reigning business
then and there had not the rural mes
senger boy butted in with telegram
for Aunt Martha.
Busy Bunch!
Aunt Martha opened the message
and read 1t with wild-eyed astonish-
ment. Then she looked nervously at
poor Uncle Peter and handed the wire
to me. Read it aloud" she said.
1t was dated New York and read as
follows
Mrs. Peter Grant.
Doves Nest Villa, Rufaldene, N K
Am unexpectedly detained at big Wal
dorf banquet OF Bankers and Brokers'
association Wine flowing like water. but
will keep on dry land Terrapin, ducks
and wild game flying around the room,
Put 6 owing to my 9on %i stay s on
about midnight. so don't expect me homo
Till morning train. May telephone you
later. Good night PETER
When ] finished the reading Uncle
Peter crouched down in the arm chair
and looked like eighty cents in Dor
rowed money. In his dazed condition
he firmly believed himself the author
of that awful telegram, and he await
ed the final bl'v In trembling silence.
was getting the pan of the fire to
cook up some kind Of stand-off for
the battered old man when suddenly
the telephone bell in the hall rang
and Aunt Martha answered it.
Yes" she said in the phone.
What? Yes, this Is Mrs. Grant,
What Oh! OH" she screamed,
dropped the receiver. and rushed back
into the sitting room.
oh! obi" cried the old lady, "a
man on that telephone said. Is that
you, Martha? Well. this is Peter! Are
you all right, my dearY Oh! oh! Am
l losing my senses?"
Clara j. tried TO calm her while l
jumped to the phone Like light
ming 1t flashed over me that this was
more Of busy Bunchs work in his eff
fort to square Uncle Peter, who now
sat doubled up in the chair watching
US all with eyes like saueers.
"Hellol" said over the wire; who
is this talking?" and then Bunch's
voice came back to me. This is Peter,
Uncle Peter!"
l put my hand up to the transmit
ter and whispered, Cut 1t out, you
dam fool, Uncle Peter is sitting in the
next room!" and then l heard Bunch
yell, Jumping Beeswax!" and drop
the receiver. knew he was running
like a whitehead.
Then l continued over the phone
loud enough to be heard a mile,
Whats that? Who? You claim to
be Peter Grant! You scoundrei!
know your voice you are Barney Sui,
Ivan, and you're trying to blackmail
my generous, peace-loving uncle!
What LOuder What Well. you
can't pull that on me- Mr.. Barney Sui.
livan. You wanted to get up mys.
terry in our quiet family and have
some of us pay you money to explain
I'm on! That telegram gag didn't
work, Mr.. Sullivan! Just because my
uncle was kind to you-whatl Why
I'll have you pinched for thlsl Oh, go
so the devil my uncle isn't afraid OF
you. Back to your kennel. backl Lie
down, you had dog" and with this
hung up the receiver with a crash.
Cheer up, Uncle Peter" | said as
l went back in the room. Those race
track rail birds try to work fancy with
good people every once in while, but
l spotted Mr.. Sullivan all right. /
knew his voice in minute. You can't
trust those ducks, but threw a scare
into him that burnt his chin. He
won't bother you againl"
Uncle Peter arose shakily from the
chair and when he turned to me no
ticed that his eyes were damp.
I've had a hard day" he said;
goodnight. John, and God bless
you!"
Clara J. looked me straight In the
eyes as Uncle Peter went to bed, but
my headlights never hickered.