The Washington bee., 1911-11-04
RUSSIA'S JESTER
Balakireff Is the Joe Miller of the
MuSC0ViteS.
HIS WIT TICKLES THE BEAR.
He Was the Court Fool That Many .
Time BraVed the Anger of Peter the
Great-His Miracle of the Sword and
Wondrous Deed of Daring.

Every nation has it's typical jester,
around whom crystalline all tie float
ing stories of people. Thus England
has its Joe Miller Germany its Till
Eulenspiegel, Italy its Punchinello, the
orient its Nasreddin el Kh0ja and
Russia its Balakireff. Like Joe Nil
ler, the last was a real character,
though not all the jokes credited to
| him were his own. Some were inven-
tiOns of later age; others were Dor
! rOwed from the past. He shares the
! credit for many of the latter with Joe
J Miller and Eulenspiegel.
! History records that Balakireff was
! the favOrite jester of Peter the Great.
Tradition represents him as the con-
stant company of that car, frequent
" exercising his wit at royal expense.
| One day, for example. a cousin Of his
/ had fallen under the czar's dispIeasure
{ and was sentenced to death. BaIaki-
/ ref undertook to obtain a reprieve.
| The czar guessed his errand even be-
| fore he opened his mouth.
Nor he cried. "'Tis no use your
J coming here. | swear that l viii not
grant what you are going to ask!'
! Balakireff dropped at once TO his
knees. ''Peter AIexeivitch, be cried,
81 pray you, put to death that scamp
/ of cousin of miner
Peter. thus caught in his own trap,
| had no choice but to laugh and send
a pardon to the culprit.
On another occasion BaIakireff ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
| bis masters domestic guards. Peter
| consented for the sake Of the joke,
| but warned his jester that death was
the penalty if any officer Of the
! guards absented himself from his post
or mtslaid his sword. Then to test
the volunteer be sent him up a flagOn
Of wine to ''mOisten his commission"
/ Balakireff, as was expected, drank to
/ the intoxicating point. While he was
sleeping off his debauch the czaT him
! self crept into the room and carried
or his sword from the scabbard. BaIa-
kireff. though badly scared, on awak-
ing made shift to replace the missing
weapon with his own wooden imita-
| ton Of the guaTdsmens sword. He
was called to parade next morning,
when Peter feigned hot indignation
at the untidineSs of one of the guards.
Captain Balakireff," he cried at last,
draw your sword and cut off the head
of that slovenr'
Balakireff cast his eyes up to heav-
en-. "Oh, merciful God" be prayed,
grant that my sword may turn into
wood before use it on one of my own
fellow soldiersr'
And, 10, when he unsheathed it the
blade stood revealed as a wooden one.
Peter laughed heartily at the knave's
presence Of mind and restored him to
| favor.
/ A more serious Offense resulted in
the banishment Of the Jester. Never
dare to appear again on Russian sOilP'
stOrmed the emperor. Judge then IF
Peters surprise when. a week later
he beheld his old fayOrtte cOOlly driv-
ing cart past the palace.
How dare you disobey meF' shout
ed the enraged monarch. did I not
forbid you ever to show yourself on
Russian soil?"
"Nay," replied Balakireff, Il have
not disobeyed you. This is not Rus
sian soil"
"How say you-nOt Russian soil?"
"Truly not. This CARLOAD Of earth
on which I am sitting is Swedish soil
I dug it up in Finland only the other
cay"
Again the czar laughed uproariOusly
and readmitted his buffOOn to favor.
Some historians add that when he
heard the excuse he said. eff Finland
be Swedish soil now It shall be Rus
sian before long" a threat he was not
slow to fulfill
This story. however, was an old one
long before the time Of Balakiref. It
forms the twenty-seventh adventure
of Till Eulenspiegel. who is reputed to
have died in 1850 Having offended
the Duke of Lunenberg, Till was "tor-
hidden the land" He purchased a ghil-
Iing's worth Of earth to fill his cart
with. and. being duly challenged by the
duke. he answered:
my gracious lord, I am not in your
land, but in mine own, wherein I do
sit. l bought it OF a boor for a shiI-
ling. And rightfully could he sell it,
for from his forefathers he inherited
1t. So is this truly my land"
At the close of one Of Gar Peters
campaigns BalakireT overheard some
Russian officers boasting Of exploits
they had performed.
NAY" he cried. 81 can tell a better
story than any Of you" And, being
pressed for the story, he continued:
'Never have l liked this modern way
Of fighting all in a body together.
Surely it would be more manly for
each to stand by himself Therefore
went l out alone in search OF adven-
lures. One day while reconnoitering
near the enemy's outposts / espied a
Swedish soldier lying on the ground.
Before he could rise and give the
alarm rushed upon him and with
one blow from my sword cut of hiz
right foot"
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