davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
Wen have lots OF kissing,
Pa and ma have left me al alone.

Well have lots OF RlssinS,
Pa and ma have left me al alone.
Gen. Sherman once remarked that
WAR Is he'll"
I'VE never been soldier. but know
1t well;
Gee! but married live is tough,
Case of fight both day and night.
I'm gentle and she's rough;
II / could find the man who married
I'd hang him on sour apple tree.
Wedding bells. sweet wedding bells,
Never harmonic with baby yells;
Why did / get married?
If I'd only tarried
With the crowd I'd mingle,
Yelling, God bless the single"
Work by day and fight by night.
Stand 1t no one can;
So now you congregation #
Say prayer for my salvation,
Lord. have mercy on married man"
Winter, winter,
When the snow is softly falling.
That's the time to squeeze
When 1t starts to freeze
In October, November and December,
Just remember,
Winter, winter,
When your sweetheart comes a-call-
ing
BY tile fireside bright you'll sit and
tease her.
Louisville Courier.Journal.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
Furnishing THE MICROBES.

"The germ theory, thanks to the
study Of hygiene in the schools, is
familiar even to our children" said
DR.. Charles T. Aikens, president OF
Susquehanna university, in an address
at Selinsgrove.
1.-TWO little Selinsgrove urchins
played in their mothers kitchen the
other day while the cook boiled some
water. Hearing the sound Of the boil
ing, they drew near the gas range.
"tWhat is in that pot?' said the first
urchin.
Water said the second. Just
water
what is the sound l hear. then.
brother?'
"'sister, it is the microbes crying"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
A GOOD STORY.

1.-TWO men were disputing over
their respective churches" says the
Slater News in reviewing an old story
which Is still good. Zone was Bap-
tist and the other Presbyterian. FL
nally one OF them called a neighbor
who was passing and asked his opin-
lon as to which was the better
church In which to be saved. Well.
neighbor,' he said, son and ! have
been hauling wheat for nealy 40
years. There are two roads that lead
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
CLOSE CALCULATION.

"Horse sick?" asked the man in the
buggy.
/: .Yep," replied the man with q
spring wagon.
Hard luck, amt it,"
"Oh, I dunno. It's gettin' so medi-
cine is cheaper than hny. Washing
ton Star. #
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
rr,,e sentln ent Of the Day.

The great thought Of Thanksgiving
day is that there is q God who rules
the worlds in righteousness. that we
are his creatures and that all that
comes to us comes from his hand. To
be sure there is mere sentimental
observance Of the day and the observ-
ance Of It merely as q holiday. But II
1t is to survive, II It Is to accomplish
any good for US, we must try to keep
the religious idea-and the old re-
ligious idea-at the front. Lord God
OF Hosts, be with us vet. lest we for.
get. lest we forget that Is the true
sentiment Of Thanksgiving day.-ln,
sterior. i.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
OUT OF POCKET.

He was a rather overdressed youth
and attracted much attention when he
entered the car. He occupied the only
vacant seat beside a rather elderly
gentleman. When the conductor came
for his fare he fumbled for his money
and then suddenly became very pale.
"Oh, I've been robbed" he gasped.
There is nothing but bit Of an old
cigar in my pocket"
my boy" said the deep bass voice
Of the man by his side, would you
mind taking your hand out Of my
pocket ?"-Ideas.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
WHICH Is DIFFERENT.

The editor was trying to placate an
indignant statesman.
"All we said about you in the paper,
Mr.. Krakajack,' he assured him, "was
that you seemed to have an made
uuate sense Of proportion"
"Not by blamed sight" roared
the caller. what you said about me
was that / seemed to have an made,
quate proportion Of sense! Chicago
Tribune.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

lage the missionary, passing through,
had left few pages of the gospel in
the Indian tongue. Our Indian read
and rejoiced. Measuring the mission
ary's footprint, he fitted 1t with mag
nifcent moccasins, and travelled 200
miles to gives them to the missionary
as an expression OF his gratitude.
Thus the missionary was enriched by
the present, but the Indian was en-
riched by the thanksgiving.
The best thanksgiving Is q happy
heart Blossoms mean nothing on a
dead stick. Once when the car Wis
Tied Paris the ingenious French, it
being winter. fastened to the bare
boughs of the trees innumerable paper
flowers, very pretty as a spectacle, but
very unworthy as symbol. since they
We're false. Our praise will be quite
valueless unless it is rooted in the
daily life.
I Train yourself to be grateful for the
common blessings There had been a
great cotton famine In Lancashire.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

going on; that not days plan can be
reckoned without him. His laws touch
US as closely as the south wind touch
es the rose. or the raindrop. the rill
in the valley.
To know these things, to think upon
them. to set apart a day in recognition
Of them, lifts up the life and equips It
with a nobler motive. Thanksgiving
Is not for Gods benefit. It is not to
do honor to him as we would to some
earthly potentate. It is to honor our
selves BY getting nearer to him in
meditation and purpose, by putting
our lives In accord with his beautiful
providence. and have them serve us
In our own duties as 'neighbors and
citizens,
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
A MERE SHAM.

This" explained the cigar sales
man. will make an excellent pipe for
your husband. It's a meerschaum."
How dare you, sir" the lady de
manded indignantly, ''attempt to sell
me fraudulent article! I want the
genuine or nothing. Judges, Ii
brary. u
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

to the mill. One is the valley road
and the other leads over the hill. and
never yet has the miller asked me
which road came, but he always
asks, rs the wheat good? Kansas
City Times.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
SQUEEZED.

Tim-Say, Jim, what's the differ.
ence between soldier, young ladies,
and an Italian fruit stand?
JIM don't know. Give 1t up.
What's the answer?
Tim The soldier faces powder, and
young ladies powder faces.
Jim-Yes; but where does the Ital-
ian fruit stand come in?
Tim-Oh. that's where you get your
lemon.-Judge.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
NO PLACE FOR AN ARTIST.

Il am looking for local color" said
the artist, as he strolled about the
little town. Have you any merry
villagers here?"
NO." answered the old resident.
"All we have here is disgruntled tax
payers"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
NO FISH in THE AIR.

Judge Stevens was angling In the
Mantiowish waters, and just after din.
ner became involved in an argument
with his boat companion. The debate
lasted some minutes. and during that
time the Judge had his baited hook
dangling in the air over his shoulder.
The guide took hand.
Judge" said he. peremptorily.
drop your line in the water. There
are no flying fish around here" ss
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
LESSON IN Etiquette At SCI

The captain was trying to impress
upon the sailor the Importance of say.
ing "Sir" in addressing his superior.
"How's her head?'' he asked.
"Nor'-by-east," answered the old tar
grufly. Another trial was without
success.
Let me take the Wheel" said the
skipper, "and you ask me the ques-
ton"
COWS her head" reared the sailor.
''Nor-by-east, SIR" replied the cap
tain.
Keep her SO, my man" said the
old tar, while goes forward anu has
a smoke."-Success.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
MINUTE INFORMATION.

"Do you know anything about
Mars?" asked the professor.
'.Yes," replied the confident stu
dent. 1T Is inhabited by numerous
race Of highly industrious people,"
Indeed! And may I ask why you
believe all this 2"
BECAUSE otherwise 1t would be i'm
possible for them to build canals as
fast as some of our astronomers dis
cover them" Washington Star.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

II you are a man Of pity. you must
love your neighbor as yourself, and
then you begin the fascinating art Of
admiring yourself for your neighbours
sak1.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
DIPLOMACY AND HAhDIcAPs.

IT a man called me a liar I'd lick
him If he weighed 900 pounds"
"well, you big bluff. I say you're a
liar!''
"Bluff yourself. You don't weigh
more than $50, and you're immune .
Cleveland Leader.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

Married. old chap r.
mo; I cawn't atfawd Z keep q
wife"
"Aw. but, say, what with Reno and
all that, one isn't obliged to-
Youngstown Telegram.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24
THE WAY THEY DO.

"Women never get good grasp on
anything"
"Are you married man?"
Eyes"
"Then, for gracious sake. tell me
where you hide your loose change
Baltimore American.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

A man who says little gets credit
for deep thought; but It Is some meas,
ure Of thoughtfulness to keep silent
at the right time. II
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

Look not upon the wine when It -
red extra dry ought to be bun.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

The greatest Of these Is charity
sometimes the greatest sham.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

- Lutte Brown ELI Of the Sea and
~, ms friends enjoyed Thanksgiv-
we mlnce pie til they had to
Z winners!" VI A
~ the day grew tired and turned to
night,
light,
80 aw V. in . fright to see such a
sight nil m
|AAose young Thanksgiving sinnersl
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

F YOU are grateful,
say 20. Thanks
giving is only half
thanksgiving till it
blossoms into ex-
preston. Learn q
lesson from the
noble-hearted Indi-
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1911-11-24

~. Significance d the Day.
a. I : giving 10 reminder that
49, ss,s aas still something to do With the
l's'la; mat he \ I part Of everything
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-09-06
FOOTBALL Men
CALLED AT FIJI. S.
LITTLE GIANTS HAD THEIR FIRST
WORKOUT LAST NIGHT UNDER
THE DIRECTION OF NEW COACH
AL BUT THREE OLD MEN
WERE BACK.

The prospects for winning football
team for Fargo high school took a big
boom last night when the lads turned
out for teir first workout in the mud
The enthusiasm among the little grid
iron warriors was marked,
In response to a call issued by
Captain Nesbit twenty five candidates
for the high school football team turn
ed out for practice. Coach Robinson
put them through an hours fast work,
ending with a scrimmage against the
second team. With the exception of
Cruikshank, Pollock and Hines all of
last years team were back and are
determined to uphold the high schools
reputation in football.
Coach Robinson, who is a Beloit
graduate, was well pleased by the ap-
pearance of the squad and predicts a
good team. He is full of ginger and
the lighting spirit and has made a
big hit with all the boys.
Assistant coaches, Pope and Robert
son, have charge of the second team
at present but it is the intention of
Head Coach Robinson to get out three
teams with coach for each. The
seconds have a good bunch with lot
Of promising material in it.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-09-06
HACKENSCHMIDT
OFF FOR HOME

Chicago. Sept. George Hacken-
schmidt left for New York yesterday
afternoon, after offering to post $4,000
for private return match with Gotch.
He was accompanied by Americas and
Koch, two Of his wrestling partners.
Hack will sail from New York
Sept. 9.
Hackenschmidt's offer for a return
match with Gotch was offset later by
his contradictory statement that after
leaving New York he would never re-
turn to America. In the meantime.
the offer had been carried to Csotch
and accepted, with the provision that
the match be held within two months.
This was not accepted by Hacken-
schmidt on the ground that his in
jured knee would not permit his re-
turn to the ring IN that time.
Gotch win leave for Humboldt, Ia,
either Friday or Saturday. He was
ready and eager to return last night
but his mother and wife were not
ready to leave until they had had d
chance to combine the pleasure or the
wrestling trip with fall shopping.
Gotclls plans are incomplete, but he
stated that he would not begin his
round -tlle-world tour for several
months. He wants to spend that much
time In Iowa.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-09-06
THE BOSTON BIRDMAN

Boston, Sept. 6.--In a squally twen-
ty-mile wind, Claude Grahame- White,
the English aviator, swept fifteen and
one-half miles out to Boston light and
returned at speed of more than a
mile a minute and won the event at
the Harvard Boston acre meet Tues
day. His official time in his Newport
monoplane was IA minutes, 9 As sec
onds Tom Sopwith, the British rival
Of Grahame- White, in Bleriot mono
plane, was second while Earle L..
Ovington, who won the 160-mile tri-
state fight, was third in his Bleriot.
Up to last night a Boston boy had
captured the bulk of the prizes, Earle
L. Ovington having received $11.505.
The standing of the other aviators
is as Follows:
Lieut.. T. d. Milling, s5,4s2; Tom
sopYith. $3.50; Lincoln Beachey, $S,-
$50; Claude Grahame- White, $4,000;
Arthur Stone. $1,000; Howard Gill,
1884; George w. Beatty, s472; Harry
N. Atwood. 1888. and Eugene Ely, $3.50.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-09-06
Y. N. c. A. ATHLETIC
SEASON OPENED.
GYMNASIUM CLASSES STARTED
YESTERDAY SOME IMPROVE
MENTs IN THE GYMNASIUM
NEW APPARATUS HAS BEEN
SECURED FOR GYMNASIUM.

The Y. M. @. A. gymnasium classes
began their regular fall activities with
the high school class yesterday aft
ernoon at 4 o'clock. This was fol-
lowed today with the A intermediates
at $3.50; with the B intermediates and
newsboys coming for the first time
Saturday morning, followed by the
juniors at 2 o'clock Saturday after
noon.
The employed force at the z. M. G.
A. have been busy getting everything
in apple pie order for the opening
All day Monday the boys department
was filled with boys who had returned
from their summer vacation and all
were enthusiastic over getting into
the game at once.
The physical department already
ordered new apparatus in the way OF
one horizontal bar. two medicine balls.
volley balls, basket balls and water
polo balls. The gymnasium has been
rehnished, new lines have been painted
| on the floor, new lights have been
placed in position, key lock system
has been attached to the switch boards
and light protectors have been placed
on all the lights throughout the locker
bath, swimming pool and toilet rooms.
There are no changes noted In the
gymnasium except that indoor base
ball first and second base have been
mover forward about three feet. The
foul lines have also been moved in
toward first and second base about
the same distance The basket ball
lines are painted black, indoor base
ball lines white, while the handball
lines have been painted red.
Physical director Lansing has made
a great Improvement on the old basket
ball goals. These goals are made out
of finished inch and half pine and
are supported to the ceiling and run
ming track by inch and a half iron
pipe, set in flanges and lag screwed
to strong supports. There is not the
least sign Of wobble in the new goals
and they certainly are a great i'm
provement over the old ones The Y
now claims to have the finest basket
ball goals in this section of the coun-
try. The running track railing is be-
ing strengthened with one inch three
quarter round placed so as to protect
the railing from giving. When these
are painted everything will be in
apple pie order.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-09-06
How 70 Ours crannna.

Answers: Cramps! Who hasn't had
pleasant swim in glorious weather
spoilt, at one time or another, by this
most pernicious of sudden seizures ?
But how cheering to know that 1t Is not
a proof Of ones Incompetence, and that
it attacks both good and indifferent
swimmers alike.
Never battle soon after a meal, as
indigestion in many cases causes
"cramp." DO not. also, exhaust your
self in a vain endeavor to outrival
some opponent, as the over-exertion of
muscles that have been little used will
prove just as dangerous.
This horrible punching of the mus
cles is generally felt in the calf of the
leg, just below the knee. So curious is
the sensation OF the "knotted" cords
that the sufferer seems to lose all
reason for the time being, and is over
powered with mingled pain and terror.
TO effect remedy. turn over on the
back at once, kick out the afflicted
leg in the air, disregarding the. pain If
possible. Rub the spot smartly with
one hand, while employing the other
in padding to keep afioat To finish
OFF the cure, draw the toes forcibly up
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-09-06
A FARGO HORSE
IN The MONEY
oLsToNs MARE TOOK THIRD
MONEY IN RACE WITH $1,000
PURsE--ANoTHER NORTH DA-
KoTA HORSE CAPTURED FIRST
MONEY IN THE SAME EVENT.

At the races yesterday at the Min
nesota state fair, Fargo was well rep
resented in the list of entries and one
of the local animals succeeded in get
ting within the money.
In the 2:2O pace the event went to
George w. Newton. who is owned by
j. A. Dinnie OF Minot. The third
money for the race was captured by
Lady Heart who is owned by p. r.
Olston Of Fargo. The purse was for
$1,000 and the track being slow, the
horses could do no better than 2:24.
In the 2:25 trot yesterday Genear-
ion, owned by the international Stock
Food Co., captured the event with the
best time of 2:261a.
T. p. Riley of Fargo returned from
Minneapolis this morning. He stated
that the fair is one OF the best that
he ever saw and the only difficulty
with the speed programme is that the
track has been very slow.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-09-06
GOOD FIGHTS
FOR NJ CARTHY
LUCK MCCARTHY HAS BOOKED
SEVERAL GOOD GOES WITH
CRACK HEAvYWEIeHTs-WILL
SOON BEGIN ACTIVE TRAINING
FOR HIS FIGHTS.

Luck Mccarthy, Fargo's white mans
hope is planning for strenuous cam
paign. which K carried out win give
him series of battles that will test
his mettle as never before.
Mccarthy is at present training
Tommy Mccarthy, the lightweight,
for the latter's go with Joe Kossick
in the near future. AS soon as he has
finished this job he win begin to work
on himself.
Luck has some good bouts in Min
nesota and it Is probable that he will
hit the range again some time soon.
He struck the range last month and
came home with new laurels for him.
self and his home city. His success
on his last trip made him very pop
ular with the fight fans around the
home of Pal Brown.
Tom Crawford has been matched
for go with Fargo's crack heavy
weight and Mccarthy is going TO
begin soon to train for this go. The
date Of the Crawford Mccarthy bout
has been set at Oct. is and it prom
Uses to be hood one. 1t is hoped
that 1t will be brought here as the
big fellow has many friends on both
sides of the river.
Five days later Mccarthy has been
booked to meet j. Richards for a
fight to the finish. The match be-
tween the local man and Richards
on Oct. 20 may be held in South Da-
kot;l as the latter has many follow
ers in and around Aberdeen. Rich
ards is the man who recently fought
| a ten round draw with Al Weathera
at Mowbridge, S. d., and afterwards
Mccarthy gave weathers a good beats
ing.
Mccarthy has a number OF bouts
under consideration at Salt Lake City
The Utah town has gotten to be q
good fighting center and promoters
there have written to him asking him
to come out there
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-09-06
Sporting Editors Corner

If Kalmbach assists Coach Rueber
this fall there is no doubt but that
the A. c. win be well fixed in the
football pedagogy line.
The inter-city baseball games
proved a success, with the exception
of the last one and the one that wasn't
pulled off Labor day.
Hunters are paying a trip to the
auditors office in such numbers that
the force Of men in the office are
kept busy all the time.
Luck Mccarthy has. gone into new
business. At the present time Fargo's
white hope is landlord conducting
one OF the local hostelries.
Zbyszco, Karlo and Mahmout (such
beautiful names to compare with
Hackenschmidt) have issued sweep
ing challenge to frank Gotch TO de-
fend his title as champion.
There Is talk OF two well known
ring men starting up real for sure
training quarters in Fargo. If such
Is done the men will do their own
training for their fights and conduct
ing a boxing school as well.
Motorists coming from the lakes
Monday after having spent few days
at the watering places had a great
deal of trouble. Near Lake Park one
car skidded and doubled across the
road. Seven cars were held up by
the accident.
The prospects for a good football
team at the high school are excep-
tionally bright. Al number of the old
men are back In the field and there
are two coaches to work on the men.
one for the first team and another for
the second team.
Nels Moe of Christine called on the
| sporting editor Of The Forum last
evening. He is looking fine and hopes
to do little mat and ring work in
the very near future. April / Moe
had his leg broken in d wrestling
match and has been out of the game
since then. At the present time he
is working near his home town and
hopes to be able to get sparrine
partner In Fargo before he goes into
the square ring.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1911-09-06
MCCARTHY
WILL MAKE SURE
NOT CONG TO LET kossIck SLIP
ANYTHING ON HIM THE NEXT
TIME AND rs TRAINING HARD
FOR HIS GO WITH THE MOOR
HEAD BOY.

II training viii put Tommy Nc
Carthy in condition to whip Leo Kos
sick when they meet for. their light
weight go. which win settle the cham
pionship of the Dakotas, Mccarthy
will surely be the victor.
The Chicago lad mas not spared
himself in the least to make his con-
ditioh perfect for the 20 between him.
self and the Moorhead boy He has
fairly lived on the job, just enough
to keep him alive and quick and not
too much so that he might grow stale.
The sporting editor Of The Forum
had the opportunity OF watching Nc
Carthy work out yesterday afternoon
and he was exceptionally fast. He is
developing drive that is much faster
and heavier than the punch he used
when last he met Kossick.
The fans criticized him on their
last meeting for not hitting hard
enough. He fought game fight then.
but did not know how to push a good
one through. He has developed a
great deal of skill In this line and
yesterday he drove some terrific ones
into his big training partner. He is
also fast on his feet and is much
quicker with his eye. He seemed more
able to see hole and take the adj
vantage Of the opening.
Luck Mccarthy, the heavyweight,
has charge of the training of the
smaller boy by the same name. The
two are not related in the least but
they work together exceptionally we'll.
Under the guidance OF the heavy
weight Tommy is rapidly rounding
into form.
The date Of the fight between Kos
sick and Mccarthy has been post
poned and will not be held at the
original time scheduled. However, it
will be pulled off a few days after
the time first set for the go.