The Irish standard., 1911-11-04
MAKING MARRIED LIFE HAPPY
An Extract From an Essay on Love
by Father Hull S. j., in the
Bombay Examiner.

Bombay Examiner.

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There is another source of domestic
irritation which is very liable to come
from the wife-sometimes as an out
times from a certain garrulous fussi-
ness which is weakness rather than
a vice. What husband wants more
than anything else, when he comes
homo from a hard days work. is a
cheerful restfulness relieved with
such light and easy conversation as
may come naturally without forcing.
He will be interested to tell casually
anything that has happened in the
city, and to hear in return what Incl
dents have befallen at home during
his absence. But the wife, lull of over
flowing with activity during the day,
has by evening become like a loaded
gun. waiting for husbands entrance
to pull the trigger and discharge
circumstantial history of the days do
eNAAN
keep at it till every detail has been
exhaustively-and exhaustingly en-
patiated on; every naughtiness the
children have been guilty of, every
squabbe she has had with her cook
and butler and housemaid, every dis
pute with the milllman or butcher
trivial unpleasantness in themselves,
but simply appalling when a poor. tir-
ed, hard worked husband has to lis
ten to them for an hour or two in
stead Of breathing an atmosphere Of
domestic cheerfulness and peace. And
If, as is quite natural, he begins to
get bored or cross, Immediately there
follows a louder explosion of another
kind. "a trade of complaints against
moroseness or his grumpiness, us the
case may be.
And if besides, or in place of these
fragrant faults there happens to exist
a marked incompatibiity of tempera-
ment and character. and total dis
parity of sympathes and interests
the husband being fond of just that
kind of conversation or amusement
which the Wife cannot abide, and vice
VERSATILE result will be Il first feel
ing ot Indifference. then total apathy,
then dislike. and finally deep aversion,
and Il conviction that it is impossible
to live together any longer in peace
and comfort.
The reason al this failure, normally
inability of two individuals to secure
happiness and well-being in the per-
manent company OF each other 1t
arises from the fact that the marriage
bond furnishes a most remarkable test
of character-a test so severe that
many are unable to pass through it
with success. This test begins to be
experienced as soon as the glarnor and
romance Of the honeymoon is past and
gone Aspiration has vanished in
achievement; the ideal has passed into
the real, hope Is merged into possess
sion, faith into sight; and love alone
survives. Even this love has been
Invested of it's outer clothing. Beauty
and grace arc still appreciated, but
and tenderness still continue, but are
much Gained down. There remains
permanently only that which is the
highest and most substantial thing in
love "a mental and moral appreciation
OF character, and a pure spirit-love of
the goodness that is in it.
This spirit-love may still retain the
concupiscent element, precisely so
tar as man realizes the treasure he
has gained-and provided she Is a
treasure. But married life will be a
poor thing unless the love of benevo-
lenco prevails. 1t is of the nature OF
benevolent love to live for and find
ones own happiness in that Of an
other, and this will issue in the sec
ond and crowning element Of service.
Not How can be happy?" but How
can l make my spouse happy?" will
be the constant thought of both.
Given this spirit, let troubles and
hardships and disappointments come
as they will; the marriage is a perfect
success.
The only remedy to this evil is
therefore a deep seated affection COM
bined with respect which will always
keep alive the desire to please, aided
with certain freshness of mind
which enables one to meet the same
people day after day just as il it were
the first time. The latter is a gift of
nature which is rare; the former gift
n Of nature and grace combined, and is
more common. On this, therefore, and
mot on that. the social comfort of mar