davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Under,yood.s Modesty

T am delighted to see that Birmins- hams congressman Is being seriously discussed for the democratic presiden- tial nomination." said an old demo- crat. MT. Underwood has proved him self to be one of the greatest party leaders of the past 40 years. We have all regarded him as a safe and sane man but he has turned out to be a constructive statesman of the hrst rai.k. Most strong leaders disclose in their personal makeup certain amount or vanity. Some very able men have been full of egotism and have been offen- sively imperious
 "But MT. Underwood, with all of his political popularity, is as modest as he was when he first began to prac- tiee law here in the early days. He is singularly modest and with the newspapers eulogizing him it is safe to say that his head is not the least bit turned.
 "The Underwood presidential bloom talk has come, l know, without any initiative word from him. Statesmen, as a rule, who have been candidates for the presidential nomination have without the least appearance or belns self-seeking, suggested to their .riends | the idea of starting an organized move ment in their behalf But to assume the air of a presidential candidate would have been the last thing to occur to MT Underwood's mind. The beauty then of the Underwood boom IS that it came absolutely unsought. lte not only had no lightning rod up, but he did nothing, I feel sure, to encour- age the boom, even after 1t was start ed. Underwood is not only presiden- tal possibility. but I will not be at all surprised to see him nomina ted. The people have faith in him, and as for availability, who would be any bet ter vote winner?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
The Governors Excise Appointments

The Governors Excise AppOintmen
 Governor O'Neal has given great satisfaction to the best citizens of Mobile and Montgomery in his selec- tion of men for the excise commission in the two large cities that have voted in favor of saloons. In each city the character of the gentlemen composing the commission is a guarantee that the liquor regulation law will be strictly enforced, and that the evils resulting from the abuse of liquor will not only be minimized, but such a thing as a dive will be practically unknown.
 If the governor gives Jefferson county an excise commission, when saloons become lawful here, as good as he has given Mobile and Mont gomery the objections which many citizens urge against the retail liquor business will disappear. The Smith regulation act gives large powers to the excise commission, and with the proper. men acting as commissioners every city in this state that has sa- looms should be models of civic order
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
High Cost of Marketing

B. F. Yoakum, chairman of the Frisco lines, delivered characteristic address 1 before the Texas Farmers congress July 26-characteristic because Mir. Yoakum is known to be one of the brightest, snap piest and most level-headed men in this l country. The caption of his address was,
 'The High Cost of Marketing,' and here are few striking paragraphs;
 Last years agricultural products were worth S900O, ,OOO,eo0 to the farmers. The government used farm values in getting figures for this total. Assuming that the farmers kept one-third of the products for their own use the consumers paid over s13,0oO, 100000 for what the producers received ssoOo 100000. The cost of getting the years products from producers to
 consumers amounted to the enormous sum of s7,OOO O0o,0oo The real problem to deal with is not high cost of living. It is high cost of selling.
 'The farmers of this country, to re- ceve better prices, do not have to experi- ment with untried theories. They only have to copy what others are doing suc- cessfully. For instance, the people of , for their butter, eggs and bacon. Then they began the organization of market societies. Now the same character of products brings in over S100, 600 year Nearly all their dairy products are mar keted through cooperative creameries and their egg export societies have 25,oOo members. There is no such talk of high
 cost of living in that little country be- cause they have a system of economical marketing The farmers there have or ganized under trust methods. The com mercal waste in the distribution of farm products Is reduced to minimum. They share in the profits of economical mar keting.
 we know that all farmers are not able to have their own creameries. Therefore community of farmers get together to build and operate one for the convenience and profit of all. The creamery is the concrete unit around which will be con- | structed the neighborhood cooperative | market. Advanced methods in handling the business of the farm are bound to come. What we must realize is the cost of delay. We have already waited too long, We should now work for prompt | improvement in marketing facilities. All
 well managed creameries properly located
 are profitable. In most cases the cream
 cry is the first step in cooperation or in
 neighborho ood marketing. Dairying Is uni- versal and creameries are easy to op-
 crate. Cooperation in marketing fruits,
 vegetables, grain cotton and other prod
 ucts Is just as sure of success when practiced under correct business rules"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
Chairman Goodwin Indorses Under.
 wood

Chairman Tyler Goodwin of the state democratic executive committee says the democrats of this state will present the name of Oscar Under wood at the democratic national con- vention ''as typical southern states man who knows no section of our common country in his statesmanship and whose record as legislator in the interest of all the people of all sections of the Union has been sur passed by no democratic leader of either house of Congress during the past half century" MT. Goodwin adds that even Mir. Underwood would have to give mighty good reason why this should not be done before the democrats of Alabama would de- sist.
 "l am prouder," said MT. Goodwin
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
A MICROSCOPE FOR TWO
From The Journal of the American Me ical Association. July 15, 1911.

From The Journal of the American Meo-
 ical Association, July 15, 1911.
 A new device which will appeal to all users of microscopes is the arrangement of two separate oculars with one common oh;ective. allowing two persons side by side to look at the same field, so that an instructor may describe to pupil what should be observed by the latter while both are Joking at it, so also that an art ist can make drawing under the direc- ton of the microscopist, etc. Apprecia- ton of it's value. will doubtless be ex- pressed by all users and the question will he asked, why it was not invented before. Thus far we have heard only of the in- strument's being exhibited in France. but in due time it will probably be introduced into this country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
MT wefI,s Forecast

"People throughout Jefferson county have read Marcus Wells local option tore- cast with great interest, no doubt, saio business man who voted dry in lsOi. "While no one can be infallible in pre- dieting election returns, MT. Well IS the most reliable forecaster in Alabama he has had long experience, in handling elec- ton statistics. He has usually called the turn on national elections, and ne mas always been right, I believe, in his fore casts of Alabama election returns.
 "On October g, 1909, he predicted that Jefferson county would give majority or 1745 against the prohibition amendment in the election held November 29. The official vote showed a majority against the amendment of 17o1. That was fore- casting some When MT. Well says that the majority in favor of saloons on Au- gust "A will be 22S9, would not be afraid to bet that the majority would be fully 20Oo.
 But no matter what Mir. Well might forecast, it is in the air that Jefferson county will have saloons as result Of the forthcoming election. I was never very much of a prohibintionist, although l did vote dry in 1907. While the legislature was in session I had hoped that dis pensary bill of this sort would be adopt ed: Whisky and other very strong drinks to be sold only in dispensaries, and beer and light wines to be sold in saloons pay ing a small icense. But under the enact- ments that we must now be governed by think the saloon far preferable to the dispensary. I am satisfied that with good excise commission conditions in Bir- mingham will be better than they have been for a long time. Public sentiment is strongly In favor of law and order. IT the saloons are conducted as the law pro- yides they shall be it will be a long time before we have another wet or dry elec- ton. If, however, dvekeepers should by any means be allowed to carry on a ne- farious business. then this county would go dry again, and stay dry for no telling how long,"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
ArtistIc Glass Cup

Harry Jones, who usually attends the national conventions of the Ancient Arabic Order of Nobles of the Mystic Shrine, missed the big gathering recent ly held in Rochester, but his friends there did not forget him." said secret society man. "Scores of the Shriners in Roches- ter inouired affectionately about him and expressed regret at his absence.
 This week Mir. Jones received oeau- tiful Shrine souvenir from his old friend Weidman Murray, formerly of Birming- ham, but now of Pittsburg The remem- brance was in the form of an artistic loving cup made of glass. All the Shrine emblems were worked into the design. I. was the product of Pittsburg fac- tory, and would have done credit to Mu- nich."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Artistic woodwork being the city's mainstay the clubs and hotels are ele- gantly furnished with home- made
 goods The club in which took my
 meals was most beautifully finished
 building. Of course, the elegant wood
 carving seen in the houses of Grand
 Rapids is an excellent advertisement for the city.
 From Grand Rapids I went to Chi
 cago. As much as I have travelled it
 was my first visit to the lake metropo- lis Comparing Chicago with New York, I was somewhat disappointed in the appearance of the Illinois city. Many of the retail stores that I visited were anything but modern. One of the big gest retail establishments in Chicago the biggest in its line in the United States-wouldn't do credit in its ap- pointments to city of 100000 popula- tion. Chicago is not well lighted az night. This surprised me very much. It goes without saying that Chicago is great city. It has many attrac- tive features but on the wholo 1t re- minded me of a big over-grown village. Business men in Chicago told me that trade had not been satisfactory during the first half of the year, but that IL was picking up right along, and every where in the north one hears or an early fall boom. A very high degree or prosperity is predicted for the last half of this year.
 Tn returning to Birmingham am more than ever pleased with thls clty'
 Even when certain of our industries are idle there is great volume of pus- mess here year in and year out. We had a very good spring trade, and Blr- minghams fall business is going to De unusually brisk.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
\ .PEREECTo LADY
From the New Orleans Picayune.

From the New Orleans Pcayune.
 most astonishing case was heard in court in Jersey City some days ago. when a man charged his 6O-year-old wife with being a flirt. In answer to the judges questions. the husband said his wife was "too frivolous;' was common f1rt." Just think of it, flirt at GJ Wouldn't that jar any thoroughly ''house- broken" positively domesticated "eat- out your hand husband? Well, we guess yes. But what we are thinking about is, if this venerable, but frivolous long-married lady is a Common firt' at 60, what in the - jumping Jim James must she have been at the giddy age of sweet 1929 Bet she made them dizzy then.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
THE EDITORS DRAWER
e Chicago Inter Ocean.

From the OHIcHBO IIteT OCtdI.
 Mayor Speer of Denver was talking about bill of which he disapproved.
 "Why, a bill like that,' he said, would soon put the city in the condition of the Cinnaminson Scimitar.
 "The foreman of the Scimitar's com posing room said to the proprietor one day:
 "'We need drawer, boss, to put these blocks in
 I've haven't got a drawer that's not In use,' said the editor-propiretor. Then he paused and added, Except the cash drawer. You might as well take that. :"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
Iron Market Improving

'The market during the past week has shown an unquestionable improvement, D say Matthew Addy & Co.,, in their Gin firmer but the volume of actual business has been exceedinly satisfactory. Only a short time ago the buying was limited to certain territories and certain irons, but today all quarters are interested and inquiries are out for nearly all grades.
 "Steel making irons are still in the lead and some large sales are reported in the east. In the Pittsburg district steel mills are running fuller than at any time for the past four months. In the central west there has been quite a lively de- mand for malleable Bessemer and a num- Der Of excellent sales are reported. Foun- ory grades, too. are coming in for their share-especially in the Chicago and St. | ouis districts-and Ohio, Indiana and Michigan are not far behind. The fact of the matter is that the improvement noted is general-not restricted either to territory or iron.
 While the market prices cannot be said to have changed, they have undoubt- edly stiffened and furnacemen are be- coming more rigid in their views A few weeks ago nearly all of them were willing to sell through the entire year at spot shipment quotations, but now many feel they ought to have a premium for the last quarter. One large interest has advanced it's prices very materially, but this action is taken only as a grace ful way of withdrawing from the nar- ket Inquiries for next year are be- ginning to appear at frequent intervals. but very few producers are willing to quote for shipment beyond January 1.
 shipments are moving nicely and 1t looks as though we have good reason to feel encouraged.~
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

HOW IT HAPPENED. T rather think"
 Said Hinky Dee, Just now there are No flies on me-" The reason why v Was, round the room His wife has chased Him with a broom. So lightning-like
 Had been his flight, Tile flies had found No chance to light,  Although upon
 His shining pate They formerly
 Were pleased to skate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 Children are so innocent because thev won't be later
 Most people hunt for fun and let salva ton hunt for them.
 You can tell rich man by how all those who aren't know he's not honest
 The sunny side of life seems to have about as many thunderstorms as the shady side.
 A farmer has to bet only against the weather; every other business it's betting against fire, famine, plague, robbery, panic. and universal deviltry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
Grand Rapids and Chicago

II. J. Porter returned this week from in Grand Rapids and a day and night in Chicago.
 T went to Grand Rapids to inspect i some cabinet fixtures for the Porter Clothing companys store" said MT. Porter Among other things I am having some very handsome plate glass cases made in Grand Rapids. An in-
 teresting fact is that the firm doing
 the work for my company is composed or North Carolina men. They still possess good southern traits, hut seem to be thoroughly acclimated in Mich igan. Grand Rapids is a fast-growing, progressive city, and is the greatest woodworking center in this country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

LEFT HIS BAIT. So blue he was, You would have thought A nine-pound fish He'd never caught. And when we asked Him why he sighed, In accents sad He thus replied: ''I have my gear, Some worms I dug, But failed to bring Along jug"
 Birmingham Age-Herald. But when, at last, The day was done, He'd really had A lot of fun. And when we asked Him, "Eh, how 'tis You feel so f1ne?' He answered, viz: T had no drink Of liquor red; And now, by jove. I have no headr
 Rome Tribune-Herald.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Senator Penrose regards Magnate Hines as a patriot and Hines is ready no doubt to reciproeate compliments There are, however. many kinds of patriots, !" and the word is exceedingly Timber and resilient.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

The women who expected to become peeresses will denounce the unionists as weak-kneed towards if they accept the Asquith veto bill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

A missionary in Alaska has been frozen to death. He should have sought service in Alabama, where no man can freeze to death outside of an ice factory
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

From the Houston Post.
 And another thing, no true southern gentleman wanted the majority so big that it would have hurt the feelings of the dear ladies and the little girls dressed in white who sang such pretty songs at the polls.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

MT. Tafts international arbitration speech at the Bull Run reunion offended nobody. The President is becoming more taetful every day
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Illinois has requested Boies Penrose to let Illinois politics alohe. There is a feeling out there that he concocted Lorl- merism.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

This country did not go to smash after the battle of Bull Run and 1t may sur vive period of standpattism in the Sen ate
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

While the commission plan of city gov ernment does not usher in the millennium. yet no city that has adopted it has gono back to aldermanic rule again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
SKILUFUL.

"Is he an experienced automobile driver?"
 T should say sol He's a past master of the side-swipe."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

The President and the impure interests are hesitating before dismissiag Dr. Wi ley. They had better hesitate lifetime
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

The househy should not be asked to hand in his resignation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Round the World in Eighty Days" is about to be reduced to 42 days by an en- terprising reporter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Survivors of those who participated in the run from Bull Run 50 years ago are not coming forward in great numbers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Lord Halsbury is the English Uncle Joe" He even seems to tbe trying to out do in standpattism the American pattern.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

In Kansas the poets often speak of a maiden lady. but they refrain from men tioning a widow woman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
NO PICNIC.

What sort of platform is he running on?'
 "I haven't the slightest idea, but judg- ing from the pained expression on his l face, it must be fuli of splinters." THE VOICE OF EXPERIENCE. Remarked a melancholy guy The other night
 "A chap should never argufy | Who hates to fight" GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN. Ihose luxuriant portieres gave to Fer dinand's face the splendid sweeping look or a grape arbor with the tendrils turned brown In the autumn sun. Songbirds could have builded homes therein, and ms morning hours might have been filled witn melody. To put the sickle into that uense growth was a tragedy. It robbed harle or his eligibility to modified Nor mon status. It will take years to grow them again and even then thev never can be so beautiful An, the pity of them wbiskers s,-New York Telegraph. TRUE. Seeing The sights"
 Includes Some tights
 When "Rube" Doth go
 To town,
 You know.
 LOFTY.
 The Flitsomes have never been in a po- sition to look down on their neighbors un- til quite recently" Have they gotten up in the world?' "Yes. They now occupy a flat on the top floor of the Royal Crouch apart ments"
 A PEACH ON THE BEACH. A lovely maid Strolled on the beach;
 The wild waves said. "Oh, pipe the peach.' ' Birmingham Age-Herald.
 And when they splashed The peachy thing She stood abashed- A blushing "cling." Youngstown Telegram. THIS IS VERY SAD. Deacon Tetow of the Holden Enter prise recently lost a COW in a peculiar manner. While the force was away the animal got into the back part of the Holden creamery where there was a lot of rubbish. She found and swallowed an old umbrella and a cake of yeast. The yeast fermented in the poor beasts ston- ach, raised the umbrella and she died."- Leeton Times. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
wOOJNG FORTUNE.

WOOING FORTUNE. He called on Happy Circumstance With such a timid knock, She laughed him out of countenance And chased him off the block.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Englishmen may love lord, but they want him to be lord only and not leg islator.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

The raising of the Maine is more tedl- ous than the war was itself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

The population of this country revolves around the best sellers of Indiana produc- ton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

MT. Taft's Bull Run fight will take place in November, 1912.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

The country is now full of stubbed fields from which fine crops had been cut.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Mexico also proposes to urge the Chi nese to see China first and stay there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Reciprocity means action by two coun- tries. It is up to Canada now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
LIP IN THE AIR.

UP IN THE AIR. Although we will our stand take With those who put on style, The "second-story" handsh&ke Makes countless millions smile.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29
LOOKING ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE

The wireless phone is popular. The line is never busy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Thou hast pared thy wit O both sides, Rnd left nothing in the middle.
 king Lear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, postoffice as second-class matter under act of Congress March 3. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Daily and Sunday ge-Herald. $500 Daily and Sunday, per month. .... TO Daily and Sunday three months. 200 Sunday Age Herald ....... 200
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-07-29

Lord Halsbury is the English Uncle Joe" He even seems to tbe trying to out do in standpattism the American pattern.
  Survivors of those who participated in the run from Bull Run 50 years ago are not coming forward in great numbers.
  In Kansas the poets often speak of a maiden lady. but they refrain from men, tioning a widow woman. Round the World in Eighty Days" is about to be reduced to 42 days by an en- terprising reporter Englishmen may love a lord, but they want him to be lord only and not leg islator.
 The population of this country revolves around the best sellers of Indiana produc- ton.
 The country is now full of stubbled fields from which fine crops had been cut.
  Mexico also proposes to urge the Cht- nese to see China first and stay there.
  Reciprocity means action by two coun. tries. It is up to Canada now.
  The raising of the Maine is more tedl- ous than the war was itself.
 -s-- The househy should not be asked to hand in his resignation. MT. Taft's Bull Run fight will take place in November, 1912. The wireless phone is popular. The line is never busy.