The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-01-12
RUssIA,s JESTER.
BaIakireff Is the Joe Miller of the
Muscoyi.es.
HIS WIT TIcKLES THE BEAR.
He Was the Court Fool That Many q
Time Braved the Anger Of Peter the
Great--His Miracle of the Sword and
Wondrous Deed Of Daring.


Every nation has its typical jester,
around whom crystallize all the float
ing stories Of people. Thus England
has its Joe Miller, Germany its TIL
Euenspiegel, Italy Its Punchlnelo, the
orient its Nasreddin el Khoja aud
Russia its Balaklreff. Like Zoe Mil.
Ter, the last was real character,
though not all the jokes credited to
him were his own. Some were inven.
tions of n later age; others were Dor.
rowed from the past He shares the
credit for many of the latter with Joe
Miller and Eulenspiegel
History records that Balaklreff was
the favorlte jester of Peter the Great.
Tradition represents him as the con
stant company of that czar, frequent
ly exercising his wit at royal expense
One day, for example. cousin of his
had fallen under the cars displeasure
| and was sentenced to death. Balaki-
ref undertook to obtain reprieve.
The czar guessed his errand even be-
| fore he opened his mouth.
"NoH' he cried. "''ris no use your
coming here. swear that will not
grant what you are going to askv'
Balakireff dropped Mt once to his
knees. peter Alexeivitch." he cried,
~ pray you, put to death that scamp
| of n cousin of mine!'
Peter thus caught in his own trap.
had no choice but to laugh and send
pardon to the culprit.
On another occasion Balakireff ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
his masters domestic guards. Peter
consented fer the sake of the joke,
but warned his Jester that death was
the penalty II any officer of the
guards absented himself from his post
or mislaid his sword. Then to test
the volunteer he sent him up flagon
of wine to "moisten his commission -
Balakireff. as was expected, drank to
the intoxicating point. While he was
sleeping off his debauch the cZar him
self crept into the room and carried
off his sword from the scabbard. Bnla-
kireff, though badly scared, on nwak.
ing made shift to replace the missing
weapon with his own wooden imita-
| tion of the guardsmen's sword. He
was called to parade next morning
when Peter feigned hot Indignation
at the untidiness of one of the guards.
Captain Balaklreff," he cried at last,
"draw your sword and cut Off the head
Of that slovenv'
Balaklreff cast his eyes up to heav-
en- "Oh, merciful God" he prayed.
grant that my sword may turn into
wood before use II on one of my own
| fellow soldiersw
And, 10, when he unsheathed II the
blade stood revealed as n wooden one.
Peter laughed heartily at the knave's
presence Of mind and restored him to
favor.
A more serious offense resulted In
the Punishment of the Jester. "Never
dare to appear again on Russian soil!'
stormed the emperor. Judge then of
Peters surprise when, week later.
he beheld his old favorite coolly driv.
ing n cart past the palace.
How dare you dlsobey meT" shout
ed the enraged monarch. "Did / not
forbid you ever to show yourself on
Russian soilf"
"Nay," replied Balaklreff, II have
not disobeyed you. This Is not Rus
sian soil"
"How say you-not Russian soilf'
"Truly not. This CARLOAD Of earth
on which am sitting is Swedish soil.
I dug II up in Finland only the other
day"
Again the czar laughed uproarlously
and readmtted his buffoon to favor.
Some historians add that when he
heard the excuse he said, "If Finland
be Swedish soil now II shall be Rus
sian before long," threat he was not
slow to fulfill.
This story, however, was an old one
long before the time OF Balakireff. II
forms the twenty-seventh adventure
OF Till Eulenspiegel, who is reputed to
have died In 1850. Having offended
the Duke of Lunenberg, Till was "for-
hidden the land He purchased n shil-
ling's worth Of earth to fill his cart
with, and, being duly challenged by the
duke, he answered.;
1"Aiy gracious lord, am not in your
land, but In mine own, wherein I do
sit. | bought 1t Of boor for shil-
ling And rightfully could he sell 1t,
for from his forefathers he inherited
II. So Is this truly my land"
At the close of one OF Gar Peters
campaigns Balakiref overheard some
Russian officers boasting Of exploits
they had performed.
"Nay," he cried, ~ can tell better
story than any of you" And, being
pressed for the story, he continued
'Never have liked this modern way
of fighting all In body together.
Surely 1t would be more manly for
each to stand by himself. Therefore
went | out alone In search OF adyen-
lures. One day while accommodating
near the enemy's outposts l espied
Swedish soldier lying on the ground.
Before he could rise and give the
alarm l rushed upon him and with
one blow from my sword cut Off his
right foot"
you fool" cried one OF his auditors
"Why did you not cut of his head"
NgO xvould I haVa dona ratartad