The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-07-14
A Tin PeddIer'S
Love Story
He Found a Man Who Didn't
Understand Woman
BY JOSEPH B. HUGHES
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation, 1911.

citation, 1911.
! was peddling tinware In the coun.
try. stopping at farmhouses to sell my
goods to women. | was successful
tin peddler. The statement may seem
superfuous TO story. but 1t Is quite
important In this one. Only one who
understands the idiosyncrasies of wo-
men could sell them tin or any other
kind of goods. Ergo. l. being a sue
cessfui tin peddler, must understand
women. But the main reason why
think understand them Is because /
know | don't.
On one of my tours struck a young
bachelor farmer and concluded to stop
all night at his house He had no
woman to do anything for him, and
he cooked and took care of the house
himself. asked him IL he didn't
need helpmeet.
stranger" he said. firing up at once,
do you mean to insinuate that |
might better take woman into these
premises r.
What Is the objectionT'
1.-THE objection Is that they're the
most rantankerous. deceitful. pryin'.
palaverin' creatures in the universe.
wouldn't trust one on 'em within
forty miles of me-"
Perhaps you've been crossed In
love3
II dunno what you mean by bein'
crossed in love. but II It's fooled In
love I've been that twict''
had finished my supper, and my
host had put away the dishes. which
meant that he put them without wash.
ing into big closet. He told me that
he washed dishes once a week by car
rying them in his farm wagon to
the middle of the creek. There be did
the work with mop. | offered him a
cigar. which he declined and brought
out cob pipe. Since | had an even.
Ing before me- with nothing to do !
encouraged him to talk.
"How have you been fooled In lover
| asked him.
ut was this away. | was born on
this farm. and when l wasn't but six
teen man bought the Owen farm,
about two minutes down the road
He had little gal about two or three
years younger than me. She was the
slickest thing you ever seen; mighty
straight little figure. dresses not far
below the knees and two pigtails be
hind tied up with ribbons. never
WIS gafs boy and didn't care any
thing about her. When | met her on
the rond ! used to go on the other
side. 0nct when | passed her ! no
ticed her lookin' sideways at me like
robin or chipmunk. When she saw
me lookin' at her she dropped her eyes
on to the road and you'd "a thought
butter wouldn't melt In her mouth.
"One day when was tishin In the
creek / heard some one Just below
windin' In reel and. lookin' through
the trees. saw Mary Owen castin In
a line. l list flshed on. payin' no at
tention to her. First thing knew
heard cry. left my fishin pole
layin' on the bank and went to see
what was the matter. There was
Mary hoIdin' out her thumb with a
hook In It. The barb had gone into the
flesh so far that II must be cut out.
| TUX out my knife. opened sharp
blade and by dom some sllcin' into
the thumb took out the hook. | must
"A hurt pretty bad. She KEEP up till
the Job was finished. then she fell into
my arms with her head on my shout
der.
Il didn't think so then. but since I'VE
been satisfied she just pretended to
faint on purpose. That's the fust les
son In the deceitfuness o wimmen
kind ! ever had. Even this little gal
kid wasn't within TO let n boy about
her own age alone. he goin' his way
and she hers.
'.Waai. when she come TO or per
tended to come to herself she was lytn
In my arms iookin up IN my face
One faintin want enough. so she
had TO faint agin. The reason for this
was TINT my lips Want more n
couple o. inches from bern. and
reckon she tainted the second time SOS
to give me n chance to kiss her.
"Waai. ! done It. like fool. and 1t
tasted so good done II agin and
agin. reckon II Id KEEP on she'd
stayed unconscious oil summer. When
she opened her eyes ag'in she pertend
ed she didn't know I'D been kissin
her tied uL her thumb with her
handkerchief and told her to go home.
But she didn't She said she felt weak
and sat on the grass with her back up
agin tree.
I'VE sat there Till supper time. Then
she went home. and | came back
1t. The next day | went hshin'
again. | didn't care for the fish.
wanted to taste the little gals lips
ag'in. She didn't care for the fish In
the creek. She was tishin' for a boy
about my size. We done a heap OF
fishin' after that till found the
kisses didn't taste SO good ms the first
ones took. and about that time we
younkers organized baseball team.
and | didn't go tishin' 30 much as
had been doin'; consequently didn't
see SO much of Mary Owen
Fact of II was that wanted 10 see
how much Mary would banker after
me when she didn't see me. And
there's where first learned about ner
cussedness. DO you know. stranger.
she didn't miss me a bitY''
mo. | don't know" replica