davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1911-06-21
WEST LUNENBURG.

Frank Colby of Whitefeld is work
ing for Ira Blood building new
barn.
Luna Jewell is working for w. r.
Bell. Mrs. Bell is gaining slowly.
w. H. Webb and wife were the
guests of Mrs. Gertrude Carpenter
the past week.
Mrs. Eward King has been visit
ing her daughter in Groveton for a
few days.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1911-06-21

Foley Kidney Pills contain just the
ingredients necessary to regulate and
strengthen the action of the kidneys
and bladder. Try them yourself. C.
G. Bingham.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
By George Fitch
The Author of Siwash College Tales
A Case Of Circumstantial
Evidence

upwards of fifteen minutes before sue
cumbing to the discomfort.
To assist at baseball game requires
close attention and constant effort. The
opposing pitcher must be persuaded that
he has an arm like an old rubber hose
and the base runner must be reminded
that the man on third is a wooden In
dian, who has lost his original Job
through old age. The baseball specta-
tor who neglects to remind the visit
ing batter that he couldn't hit base
ball IL II was nailed to a fence often al
lows a home run by his carelessness.
In an empty arena Chances Cubs would
play bush league ball while a city full
OF skilled spectators could make a good
race Tor q baseball penant with team
of Egyptian mummies.
Baseball has not only enriched the
thousands Of cases of serious illness
which have developed suddenly in the
morning and have been cured by an af-
ternoon at the game. 1t makes summer
worth enduring for business men, office
boys, actors, sporting writer's, and vast
numbers OF plain people. 1t takes pre-
cedefice Of stocks, accidents, the doings
Of Congress and the health Of Kings
In the newspapers. Romances are tame
beside the last day thrills Of a struggle
for the pennant, and the mans quickest
heartbeats are produced by slides to
second, home runs In the ninth inning
and strikeouts with bases full.
If ever the American nation Is struck
dumb, baseball viii perish. But SO long
as we are not too dignified to yell, It
will reign unrivalled In the dog days.
Copyright. 1911. by George Matthew Adams)
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
Vest Pocket Essays

- ASEBALL is known as the great
- American game. 1t could more
correctly be called the great
American noise. What few
men are playing cannot possibly be as
important as what 10000 spectators are
saying.
Baseball is played by a grandstand
full of maniacs assisted by eighteen
players in uniform. q national commis-
sion, a box full of sporting writer's, a
book of rules as thick as the Illinois
code. and a low-browed pirate called an
umpire. The object Of baseball is to
win the game for the home team. To
do this 1t is sometimes necessary for
the spectators to yell continuously for
three hours at a time. This develops
marvellous endurance. There are promi-
nent business men in the United States
who can pick out O player 100 yards
aWay during a riot and can address a
remark to him which he will not only
hear but which will make him fighting
mad.
Baseball calls for great skill in many
directions. 1t Is often necessary for
spectator to invent as many as hrty
excuses in a season for leaving his work
to assist at q baseball game. Some OF
our greatest politicians are baseball
fans, who have obtained their marvels
Gus ability to explain their votes In
this manner. Baseball develops the
lungs to a wonderful degree and also
enables man to hang by one hand to
The Washington times., 1911-09-24

Godiyer was q bevtifuI gun awl rite.
svin II she was married.
Her husbind. Mr.. Godivsr, treeted her
aw1 rite, but he was boss Of a phase
kalled Kuvintree, and he serteniy did
throw it Into the poor peepil- They
coodint DO nuthing without him butting
in and taoksing them fur eEry nttil
thing, and they got sick and tired OF
II. but wat good did that do them No
good. bekause Mr.. Godiyer was q Ear
and the peepil belawnged to him. and
wat he sed went.
Godivsr. v1ch was the Earls wife,
beeing pritty soft, dident like to see
the peepil tacksed at awi, and sne
kaIled her husbind down fer II, to.
Look Heer!
Wen are you going to kwit tacksins
these poor peepil, she sed one cay. Inls
q a fsarse state Of things. this Is
Wen I darn plseze, he sed, and not 9
mint befoar. / woodent kare II they
awl starved TO deth and dident have
enuff muny to be berried. he sed; tnat
the way feel about It.
Have you no hart, said Godiver.
Yes, and q livvir, to, SD Mr.. Godirer'
and II you want to find out who's boss
Ground here Jest start sumthing. that's
awi I CESS you luv the peepil 30 mutton
you wood ride srround In the streats
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
Reddy Smith Chats On
"When It Happens"

If wus goin' tn git married, jim
nie, I think that elopen' would be De
bes' way out NV it Course, I'm only
rtytn' my opinion. but tell yu why.
Dis morning, / wus comm over In
A ferryboat. an dere wus uh young
,oouple on dere all done UP In smiles
AM blushes. an right away dopes
IL dat deir Jes' married.
I hadn't no morn got de dope ques-
ten in me mind. when sum guy slips
,up IN back of dam an'-bing-soakes
dem wid one large han'ful Nv rice.
we'll, dey wus cornered. Cuddnt
run away, cause dey'd uh had tn
swim IL dey did an jes had tn take
II an de boat full Nv people
Den sum purson wud yen uhcross
the boat at dem and kid dem. an de
poor lovers had TIA take II all an be
de laffin' stock fur everybody.
walks on In back Of dem when
they rea chss dis side Nv de river, am
I heard hur say: Il guess yu're right,
Dave, I'm sorry We didn't elope now"
An Dave jes shook his head an
said: well. were married. anywayR'
But, say. Jimmie. de bes' way tn
keep from beih' embarrassed and tu
keep yu're gurl frum bein' embar-
ressed s tn beat 1t by yuselves an
save yu're friends frum de expense
nv de rice an ol shoes!
The Washington times., 1911-09-24

called upon me and wrote a sonnet to
my front eyebrow"
Yes" he admitted, as his chest
swelled pridefully.
~And the night before you called upon
me and composed an ode on the tip
Of my nose"
Yes" he said, and she continued,
And the night before that you called
and wrought touching poem on my
dimples. All very nice. Ambrose. and all
that, but don't you realize that perhaps
q girl might desire something-some-
thing more substantial?''
''Pruella!" he cried, II did not knovi
You shall have IL. Tonight shall COM
pose q tribute to your eyes In blank
verse!"
Cropping her way to tho foot Of the
stairs she called, Father! Put on your
storm shoes and come DOWN.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24

the and whisting up the door
But 1t wasn't whistle that greeted only that OF the
carried n hts hspd dear night
letter. he brought the words had written such
few hours before help feeling that be truth ~
through the hase Of eans felt
and you write knew that your coming
winging IT'S through the night
Distance and Spirit
believe really any distance any separation keep
from being always close beside in spirit and sometimes
can't the fashion For alas for efforts
nourishing feeling my family (ably
cooking Mrs Newyweds biscuits"
still make tingls with shame).
Because early and because happy do
cided that would make hot biscuits breakfast and
cook said that might obviously admit and then unknd
enough the bakery rolls chance" said
good thing she did for forgot baking powder in
Now honestly wouldn't think easpoonful OF silly
white powder would difference would
the biscuits knew did Dad said solemny baking powder
like laughter and tighten things which
have been clever but didn't console bit for the
everybody made
Win Try Again
was fun though, andto
we'll make and fool the family
she is sympathetic when least
I'd rather make things breakfast
how Tvs such working fresh
alert and brisk and the earth cool
watching the whole city stirring starting
another day feeling superiority
sleep But best OF an love the morning
that letters and because each
for tasks that fit be wife which bring
the goal of all my desEes-our wedding day H
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
CHIMMIE'S HISTORY

without a thing avn for thars sakss,
woodent you, he sed.
sertenly wood. sed Godiver.
Ha ha- sed the Earl, you do thas
thare and I will stop tacksing them.
Yure q nut, he sed, and you tawk like
nut
The Earl dident think she wood do
1t. or I CESS he woodent Of sed 70
mutch, but Godiver was q spoart awi
rite.
Keap Inside
Ferst she went erround to awI the
peopils houses and sed. Everybody b
In thare house and pull down awl the
shades this aftirnoon. bekaus I'm going
to ride throo the streats without any
to mutch avn, and then the Earl viii
stop tacksfng you
So everybody got In thare house
and pulled down awl the blinds, exsept
one fello by the naim Of Peeping Tom,
who always wantid to see everything
wich was going avn, no mattir who's
biZniss 1t ives. and he startid to peep
throo hole in the kertin.
Aftir q vile he herd God1vers horse
kuming down the street, and Jest as he
almost seen her the seeling OF his
room fell in and gave him a krack on
the he'd that he newer forgot.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24

useless. snappy little mongrel and the
special property Of the fat guys w1fs
and the fat guy hates It
The fat guy was just slammin his
front door behind him thts mornin'
when I drove past. We had httls
talk. mean he did Five dollars In
advance II I'd cop that kioodls when
the kid took him out for his mornin'
constitoosh'n nall took the fve.
Pretty soon the kid comes trotrfn'
along with the purp on chain. o.
course; we amt allowed to nab dogs
when somebody's got EN- on Q string.
SO yells to the kid. Holy Moses.
kiddo, dere's, guy around the corner
giyin' away ice cream" And the hid
drops the chain and beats 1t cross
country style.
Say, It was a cinch to gather Up
the purp, but what comes next was
easier yet. Il was the fat guys wife.
Five dollars II I'd let the purp loose!
Also a few weeps. took the I've.
Let me set. 'em up.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24

would pob be quoted by second instead oh
m and divorce lawyers.
Where you subbose this country would be today Belle
code head when Delaware
taken by the ice tru Do subbose for bt
that George would "a crossed1
What George Would Have Done p.
No, Belle he would "a his aide dc IN IRONS for DARN
thing and ordered
whole half mournn for week And few years ADDER
hered "a been British lion eby Abbeean piece
Bill wanted 70 the house tonight He tesphode down
told hib I'd
him agad The girl that lets her feo~not that there's anything
serious between Belle the girl that lets her fellow her
takin her young hands,
gibin' but rough push dovnwards Even
I'd visit mother felt code the
if there's insurance cobany for with codes
IN the head There ought to be- Belle for code In the head
wouldn't of job, stick O. dynamite wouldt
I've nature but the poetic en
able this code nhuban
to It somebody else
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
THE STAGE DOORKEEPER

81 see," said the stage-struck youth.
nicizing the ashes from the end Of his
cigarette. that Mrs, Helen Lehman is
suing for divorce"
Yep, kid, so the paper says" dryiy
stated the stage doorkeeper, as he
passed several letters into the leading
lady's mail box.
Seems funny" went on the stage
struck youth, not noticing the stage
doorkeeper's disintsrest. that nearly all
theatrical folk get married; give out
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
STERILIZED

Mr Van strspler I'm crowded troll
ley car)-Madam. do. wish you would
be 4 little careful with those internal
hatpins Of yours. don't want to die
Of blood poisoning.
Mrs.. Destylers-Oh. there is no
danger Of blood poisoning, assure
you, sir; my hatpins are steri1ized
The Washington times., 1911-09-24

a crowded street car for five miles at
time without discomfort. 1t provides
great skill in throwing pop bottles
cushions and lemons, enriches the con-
versation and makes the devotec I'm,
pervtous to heat. Moreover, by the END
Of August many a baseball enthusiast
has become so Injured to hard pine
benches that he can sit in a church pew
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
TWO MORE

Il saw Maude out. motoring In
Charlie Trips car yesterday"
Don't you mean Jack Daffey's
carr"
no"
That's funny. Charles car has
only four cylinders, while Jacks has
SIX"
Yes, I know. But honestly think
she likes Charlie two cylinders more
than she likes Jack"
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
Exceptions.

How tall your husband is"
mot always"
my dear, woman, what can you mean
by that?'
Whenever ask him for money I
generally find he is short. Baltimore
American.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
A Poet and a Lady;
Or, Change a Dime?

he was a good poet and a good scout,
and she loved him. kind Of, but as Q
spsnder he was decidedly honest, and
she didn't like that at all, although she
realized that he didn't know any bet
ter.
The time had arrived for q gentle
hint.
Ambrose" she said, last night you
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
Shrinkage Is Wanted.

"At last have discovered why We
didn't sell more Of those bathing suits,
remarked the head Of the department.
why is it7' asked the proprietor.
81 overheard one Of the salesladies
emphasizing the fact that they wouldn't
shrink" was the reply.-Philadeipnia
Record.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
Our Dog Catcher
Says, "Yipe! Npe!"

No, let me set 'em up. I struck It
50 soft today can feel II sQuashin' yet.
You know the big corner house with
the yeller trimmtns7 Well fat guy
lives In there. He weighs 1s0 pounds
in the shade, and he's worth . million
dollars for every pound Of n Also q
dog resides In that house. It's 4
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
The Hottest Place,
.ott SCOTT hut ,t,s hot

Great Scott, but it's hot"
Hot! You don't know what hot
weather is. Why, down where came
from II you put cake Of ice In the
sun it will warp before It gets time to
melt."-St. Louis Times.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24

their views on how happy they are 60
Ing to be; how they love domestic life
and all that, and then IN q few years,
they're gettin' divorced from each
other"
And maybe" cut IN the stage door
keeper, turning towsFd the stage
struck youth, with his hand full of let
ters, Ito get married again q few
months afterward, ehy"
Yep" said the stage-struck youth,
Il was going to say that"
We'll" growied the stage doorkeep-
er, they generally get enough with the
second venture. and they either remain
happily" married or else they 70 back
to the courts a second time and get
disconnected again, and then they steer
clear Of the apron-string for the rest
of their lives"
That seems to be the hobby of
stage folk" commented the stage
struck youth. But didn't Mrs. Leh-
man start to get a divorce once be-
fore?'
A Matter Of Opinion
Well, not exactly, hid; they iust
separated. That was about four years
ago. There was some little talk about
them havin' marital dffferences, though
not exactly Stain what, and since
then e. the writer's say, their paths
have led apart"
Sort Of a runaway match between
them, wasn't it?" asked the staFe-
struck youth.
Again I say-not exactly. They Just
slipped over to Hammond, Ind, from
Chicago. and were quietly married. OF
course, IT'S all in the way you look
at It, Some say they eloped and some
say they were quietly married-its all
a matter Of opinion"
But hear" said the stage-struck
youth, that this time she claims he had
an infintty."
Affinity, kid! affinity. Say. II you
want to make good at the theatrical
business. you've got to use your eyes
She amt nantn' one lone affinity, kid
that's too tame: she's narnfn' tsni'
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
Case of Amnesia.
tting absent-minded. ;

I'm getting absent-minded."
"So?'
Yes. II stod for an hour in the vesti-
bule yesterday trying to remember
whether I was going out or coming In"
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
Knew She Was Sweet.

Husband ION his wedding tour)-I
awnt rooms for myself and wife?
: Hotel Clerk (politelyl-Suite?
Angry Husband-Of course she is,
perfectly iovelyi The sweetest girl IN
England!-The Tattler.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
Ailment Was Contrary.

what are you crying for, children?
We've just eaten pot of mama's
raspberry JAM"
'.Ah, so you've all got stomach aches.
1 suppose?"
"No. on. the contrary!"-Fliegende
Blaetter.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
MAMIE TELLS BELLE
It's Settled Desttnies and
It's Changed History So
IT'S SURE SOME AFFLICTION

AYBE you wouldn't suspect il, Belle, but I've got
an awful code in the head
Mother says got il from dancin, but don't
belieb that Dancin' would neber glib anybody
code in the head. It's when you stop dancin' that
You catch it.
Codes in the head hab changed histry, Belle.
The man neber ibbed who could prform . noble
action with a code in the head 1t wouldn't be
huban dature. II Shakespeare'd had code in the
head when no was ETritin' "Hablet" he'd "a prob
1y turned out the on'y musical eobedy Of the
sixteenth century. If Bosses had had a code in
the head when be handed down the ten cohhand.
The Washington times., 1911-09-24
THE REAL LOVE LETTERS
That He Received
Telling the Plans
OF HIS BRIDE TO BE

you were htfis did yoq ever wake
10 drowsy sense Of something wonderful about
to happenf Did you ever he With half ciossd
eyes watching the sunlight dance on the ceiling
and try with your confused brsp to piece together
aroused in effort 70 fnd ths secret OF your belief
in happiness to eomel
have, often, and II was 20 Just such . tsehng
time, and so sure did I become that somehow
some way my thrilling happiness had TO do with
you, that at last / jumped out Of bed and peeTed
down the street hah expecting 20 see you sMtng
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01
PROGRESSIVE NEW SMYRNA
FEW SMYRNA is situated IF
teen miles south of OaYtonA

ATEW SMYRNA is situated IF
~ teen miles south Of Daytona
and is an ideal spot reached
from Daytona by hard surface road
winding through one Of the most pic
turesque parts of Florida.
With its ancient ruins dating back
to time when the history of man
runneth not, interlaccd with wires
of the modern telegraph and tele-
phone, its miles of she'll streets as
hard and smooth as a floor and over
arched by hoary forest giants that
grew in stately grandeur during the
lapse Of bysone centuries, New
Smyrna is truly a place of romance
and rest.
All nature here is very inviting to
the tourist and pleasure-seeker. Here
too is to be found the best fishing and
hunting in the state of Florida.
The people are thrifty, the bust
ness men enterprisink. and all unite
in extending the welcome hand Of
hospitality to strangers. There are
FIVE church edifices for white people
and an equal number for the colored
population; the town has an excel
lent high school. = splendid public
library, aad up-to-date business
houses.
There are any number Of pretty
homes for the permanent population,
which numbers close to 1000. and
some very fine winter residences.
There are food hotels and boarding
houses where you can find accommo-
dations to meet your requirements
Adjoining New Smyrna is IS fine a
section Of vegetable land as can be
found anywhere. This land has been
divided into small farms which can
be bought at reasonable prices. Some
Of the finest celery grown in the state
| is raised on this land. All other vese-
tables grow in abundance, and here,
| too, is the home of the famous Indian
J River oranges.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01

Joseph Salvador. the French histo-
Ran. and Jules Sandeau. a novelist,
made their meeting at a public recep-
ton the occasion Tor a dispute a. to
the respective places which they occu-
pied in the world Of letters
The reading Of history il like pill
1T needs the sugar coating to make It
palatable." argued the novelist.
'Ah. but it is the Ingredient which
cures. not the coating" remarked the
historian.
Then let us divide honors," said
Sandeau. for II It were not Cor my
sugar coating your historical facts
would dry on the shelves."
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01
The ese<oey System.

The factory system began With the
introduction Of machinery. It ks thor
oughly modern. there being nothing at
~ like 1t In antiquity or even in the
middle ages. It began with the. inven-
ton Of the loom by Arkwright. about
IT'S. and was at first wholly confined
to the cotton manufacture. IA me-
chanical invention and discovery ad-
vanced and other industries We're born
the factory system broadened QUIT along
with them until finally it was tile
dominating feature Of the community.
Exchange.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01
sDr. j. C. Herman. Osteopath, 20
volusis Ave-, Daytona. Phone 40. tt

Norman L. Hope, of Hartford.
Conn.,, who spent last winter in this
city in company with his wife, ar
rived Tuesday afternoon from ST..
Petersburg, where he has been for
the past six weeks. He has many
friends here and as his mail has
been coming to DaytOna for a week
or more they were about to have a
search warrant issued TO him when
he fortunately turned up and reliev-
ed their fears. Mr.. Hope is stopping
with MIR. and Mrs. Joseph Realizing
ON South Palmetto avenue, with
whom he and his wife were located
last season. Mrs. Hope is still in
Hartford, but will probably join Mr..
Hope later in this city.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01
Fine Stream Of Water.

A Philadelphia lawyer was hit with
the desire to move to the country. and
after travelling through Delaware
county he struck three acre farm not
SO many miles from Swarthmore. He
remembered the advertisement. recall
ed all the conveniences which the
place had and was slightly disappoint-
ed.
If l recall" he said to the owner
who had it for rent. you advertise a
fine stream of water on the place.
don't see it,"
well. work that pump handle bit
and you'll see as fine stream as ever
was pumped UP. You're not eXpectin.
a reproduction of Niagara falls are
you, for $40 a month"; sa=e
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01
Teaching Him His Place.

Mrs. Bennett had been visiting
friends in Boston for IL week aud her
husband, who remained 1T home.
didn't get along ut ali well with Mrria.
the cOlOred cook. He could stand i!
no longer and one morning he called
her in to the dining room.
'Confnund it. you. l want my meals
cooked better hereafter or out of Tia,
door you go. l don't propose to pay
you $50 Il month to burn my meals FOX
me-"
Look a-here.' retOrted Maria.
Don't you talk that away to me.
You jes' member who | is. don \
like your tone o voice. and | amt l,u
trash for yO' to holler at. Y"' mus'"';
take me TO your wife"
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01
1oIstoy's intensity.

Everything in Tolstoy's character.
says q Russian writer. attains. titanic
proportions. As q drinker he absorbed
fantastic quantities Of liquor. As q
gambler he terrified his partners BY
the holiness OF his play. As d soldier
he advanced gayly to bastion four. tho
bastiOn Of death at SevastopAl. and
there he made dying men laugh at his
witty sayings. He surpassed every
one by his prodigious activity In sport
~ well as in literature
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01

VISITORS Museum Natural History
opportunity Of looking the animal
gra6s
civilization be published these stories and caused considerable excitement
History
received
male killed
skins shipped
n
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01
Agriculture.

No other human occupation "Opens go
wide field for the profitable and
agreeable combination Of labor with
cultivated thought as agriculture. Ere
long the most valuable Of all arts will
be the art Of deriving q comfortable
subsistence from the smallest area Of
lond.-Abraham Lincoln
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01

The launch. Virginia. owned by s.
G. Mechanism, Of Seabreeze. which
was badly damaged in the storm of
last October and has recently been
undergoing repairs at McDona d q
boat yard, has been put in first
class condition and will be delivered
to her owner at Seabreeze today.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1911-02-01

Mn. w. w. Carter, Of Volusia av-
snue. spent Tuesday with friends in
Port Orange. taking dinner with Mrs.
w. c. Howes and also calling upon
Mr.. and Mrs. c. NJ. Milburn and
family.