davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

ways for the toper to get relief from the choking grip of the maddening thirst. The Berkshire trolley is oheAand that makes all the other thirty-nlne un- necessary. There's really no call for sympathy from outside, when relief is go readily available, even had the ,drouth threatened to be permanent in- stead of transitory, feeting and short lived condition brought about to combat a theory and demonstrate to the cynics, by object-lesson, that there isa God in Israel. That lesson having been duly impressed. and general understanding arrived at. there now appear upon the horizon omens of relaxation indi- cations that the lid is to be tilted at a reasonable and safe angle, and tokens of an early and welcome end of the balm famine in Gllead.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
Give Them q Show.

Ut is easy to live for those who love us. but it is not easy to have charity for those who have perhaps been the cause of trouble and annoyance.
 "I hate the word 'incorrigible.
 Do not be nasty in deciding that a case is incOrrigible but when action Is called for, act wisely aud firmly.
 Give every girl and boy chance to live proper lives. A few may not ap- preciste the privilege extended them, but many who would otherwise become wayward are saved for useful lives.
 Sixty per cent. of the arrests in this state are for drunkenness. We should not compel these men 70 associate with felons.
 Big farms should be established by the state and many of these men would be cured. It would at least tend to nurse back their pride and guide them in ,he direction oI nobler things"
 So says Edwin Mulready, deputy commissioner, Massachusetts Commits sion on Probation.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
Ed. Howe's Experiment.

Ed. Howe, the Kansas newspaper man and genius, quaint, original and humorous, has perpetrated a joke that sings liAe taut electric wire in a gale. Recently he invented and printed this motto
 "We must all learn to be absolute with the absolute, infinite with the ln- finite, yes One with the One"
 It made hit and was enthusiastically adopted by thousands who read it. Now MT. Howe says the thing is mean ingless; never had any significance, and was built simply to see if anybody would bite. As many did bite the inventor of the paragraph accuses them of worshipping 1nanities, of being carried off their feet with a string of sounding words. He suggests that what people need is not an incentive to wade in turgid streams but to walk in the sunlight of sense and reason. Here he becomes the philosopher and not the joker. He made an experiment. in the interest of common sense. It should have good results by exposing the folly of fads founded on tinkling rhetoric. - Bristol Press. ... ~
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
Ira Forbes Poem

At the funeral of Ira K. Forbes, ir Hartford last Decoration Day a poem written by deceased in l672, was reat by Rev. Dr. Rockwell Harmon Potter as followss Scatter your flowers, The rarest and best, Over the graves where your heroes rest Gratefully keep Their memory green, While tears ya weep By their graves serene.
 Their deeds and fame au augel's hand Might trace on sky aud sea and land. From the sEurlY North they came, From the golden West,
 While freedoms quenchless flame Fired euuh dauntless breast. Forward they pressed.
 Trusting to God,
 For victory rest.
 Long they fought and well,
 Yea conquered, though they fell. The gory sod,
 Where CT they trod, Was fitting couch ou which to die.
 For them was heard the nations sigh, The nation s deep lament, ! And now where flowed their blood,
 A sacrifice for truth and right,
 The sweet wild flowers spring In Freedon's holy light.
 Aye wreathe your floral monument, Loves choicest offerings,
 And crown your heroes graves to-day With the fairest flowers of May.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
Letters From the People
A Plea for Central .

To the Editor of The News: ~ The following poem from the Somer vile Journal. it seems to me, should bt read by those impatient people who babitually "call down" central on the slightest provocation. The poem is en titled Central Speaks :" Gall me not with scornful numbers,
 Like "two-seven. O. ring three F' Snapped ont in disdainful accents
 Pray, be courteous to me Would you like to sit here with
 Telephone strapped on your head, All day long to answer summons?
 Wouldn't you wish that you were
 dead?
 When 1 say the line is busy,
 Honestly, sometimes it IS. Why do you get so indignant
 When you hear the buzzer's whiz And wrong numbers-naturally
 Sometimes am at loss; But, in fact, give them mostly
 To subscribers who are cross. Be polite. It will not hurt you.
 Even though I'm in a box. I am human-although hidden
 And am sensitive to knocks. Be polite, Do unto others
 AS you would have them do to you, It's good rule to observe-and
 You Il get better service, too.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

Governor Baldwin names Thursday, Nov. 30 as Thanksgiving Day, and his proclamation continues
 Thanksgiving to Almighty God for the blessings of the year.
 While during it's course. other coun- tries have been and are the seat of war, and of all the sadness and suffering that war involves, our own land has been in perfect peace. For this for the strong foundations of civil government that our fathers laid {; for the long life of Re- publican institutions in Connecticut as colony and state and for free America, 1 recommend that on the date above appointed, our people gather in their homes and churches to render reverent praise and thanks to the Giver of all good.
 "Given under my hand and seal of the state, at the Capitol in Hartford this first day of November, in tl e y ar of Our Lord, one thousand, nine hundred and eleven and the Independence of the United States, the one hundred and thirty sixth" "
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
Names.

We have often referred to the failure of the'people of this country in the mat ter of naming their cities and towns, Look at any gazetteer and see what bewildering multitude there is to "Norths" and "Easts" and so on. The News" are about as plenty and there are a good many "Clds," like our Old Saybrook. We have no more invention than than the people over in Litcnfield county who name the hill Pond Hill' because there was pond on it, and theu named the pond Pond Hill Pond" because it was on the Hill. Now along comes the application of the gas engine to looomotion, and what do we call thatl Why, its an automobile" varied with "ottomohile" and "otomobile." The French started the word and we ap- propriated 1t. Think of it--automohile. That means or tries to mean self. moving, It applies to anything from bed bug to an elephant. We tie 1t arbitrarily to a special carriage. Then we call the driver "chauffeur,' (too often prououuoing it "shoffer'O keep the machine III gar age and strangely enough, use it on a road instead of on chemin. When an aeroplane comes shopping down to de- struction, it is taken, after the wreck, to "hanRar," and so on. Why can not we have our own names for things?
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
Where the Laugh Comes In
An umbrella, now and then, Is borrowed" by the best of men.

-J uuk6. Many would -be-vocalist could come nearer filing the bill by substituting for a fog og-horn.-Topeka Journal.
 Bessie-"W Which side is your toothache on ?"
 Billy-"The inside. Where did you suppose it was?"-Pniladelphia Tele- graph
 "When I leave here I shall have to depend on my brains for living" Don't take such pessimistic view of things. ."-Cornel Widow.
 De Style-"What makes you think he sympathizes with Italy ?''
 Gunbusta-"He has stopped taking his usual Turkish baths. Judge. What did she do when he kissed her?'' Slapped him on the cheek" And what did he do about the other cheek?''
 Kissed shat, too."-St. Louis Star. Uncle Pennywise says-"There still are worms in the chestnuts Mother Nature doesn't seem to care darn about the pure food laws. ."-Kansas City Jour- nal.
 Maud-"I am really surprised when consider what a lot of homely women get married"
 Ethel-"Surprised and encouraged, eh dearr r-Clipped.
 Howell Doyou believe Tn heredity ?'' Powell-"I should say I did! I mar ried the daughter of judge and she is always laying down the law to e.''- Judge.
 "No, am not going to marry him. "Why not?"
 "I cannot trust him. He is too decep- tive"
 "Why, how's that ?''
 "He pretends to like my poodle. '- Houston Post.
 Elderly spinster -"When I was your age the men fussed round me like flies in honey-pot."
 Young one-"H'm. not one seems to have stuck, though. ."-Fhegende-B ter.
 The Lady (severely)-Doyou ever drink intoxicants?
 The Tramp-Before replying, lady, IS that an invitation or merely an inquiry ? London Opinion.
 The PriDce of Wales is not coming to America, after all. Too bad. He'll have to go through life now judging all Ameri- cans by those he sees over there. Newark Star.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

The application of John L. Sheridan seems to have struck the. keynote to a solution of the perplexing hotel license problem-put what is still better the perceptibIe dutterlng and peeping that may be distinctly heard by one who will put his ear to the incubator, denote that the dove of peace is coming off her nest with a whole brood of little squabs of peace that the era of hair.pulling, back biting, making faces, calling names etc. is practically at an end and the reign of terror practically over. 'Tis well.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
THANKLEss SYMPATHY

Down in Canaan, Ct., the lid is on tighter n gol darn drum. Those who are athirst in that peaceful village by the verdaEt Nile, pardon us, the Hous. atomic must needs bic themselves to far away Winsted or to Great Barring. ton if they wish to quench their thirst.
 Troublous times, indeed, for sundry villagers. Tell us, whispering pines of the Canaan valley, what is the power behind this moral crusade? Why is 1t that the minions of the law still persist pitilessly in their inhumanity to man We ask with Richard Le Galliene, "What is the meaning of it all?" Aye, what is the meaning, the dread signifi- canoe of an event which plnnges pre- cipitately into the dumps the usually cheerful and optimistic editor of The News? Who is there who has come in contact with gr eat soul in it's great an guish who will not sympathize with the author of this:- Er.
 The melancholy days have come,
 The saddest of the year
 The lids on tighter than a drum
 The world is out of gear.
 The melancholy days here the ld on 50 securely that any living thing inside is apt to smother; the machinery of the world separated from it's, gearing, the flag of distress flying. Gould calam- ity dire and terrible appear in guise more horrible than this ?-Pittsfeld Eagle.
 That's very well said but to the trained eye of 8 fine Italian hand, its hollow sound bears the earmarks of bun combe, and the true ring of insincerity sticks out all over it like quails upon the frightful porcupine. The writer prates of sympathy" but between the lines methinks there turks the demon of whitening sarcasm, grinning in ghoul- fish glee over the supposed misery ii affects to deplore in sobs that are as empty as a sounding brass or twink, ling thimble.
 But even were its sympathy sincere what availeth 1t? What says the poet, whose name-we don't know it:
 Sympathy, without relief,
 Is like mustard without beef" And if the Eagle has only sympathy tc offer in time when all signs fail, and there is apparently no balm in Gilead then is it's offer vain, and it's sympathy is most needed, where charity begins at home. But the condition of the s1t nation here down in Canaan. Ct., never approached the status denoted ir the above debauchery of emotion. No Ten thousand times No! Yes, ten mil lion hundred thousand times No Anc even more than that, if necessary.
 What are the facts The lid was or no doubt about that And it was or good and tight. And it is on yet good and tight. But there are forty
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

Nevertheless, no board of county com missioners that we have ever heard of, has ever been able to give satisfactory answer to the problem propounded by the Dutch applicant who was, turned down on the ground that he was an unfit person to sell liquor: Well, if ain't fit to sell rum, yot de tuyfel am fit for?''
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
THURSDAY. NOVEMBER ss. 1911

The man whose life is intelligently ordered is always preparing himself } for the highest demands of his work i; he is not only doing that work with adequate skill from day to day, but he . is always fitting himself in advance for more exacting and difficult tasks. Hamilton Wright Mabie.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

However, the court of inquiry still fingers to inquire, and can finger just as long as the refugees can stay away. Its lamp will still hold out to burn until the runaways return. They might as we'll forbear to roam, and start their trotters straightway home.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
NORTH CANAAN HAS

A population of 2.171, Census of 191o) Two railroads. National and Savings Banks.
 Trolley railroad extending through the Berkshires to Pittsfield and beyond. Up-to-date High School and first-class school system.
 Five churches.
 First-class hotel
 Fire department. including chemical en- zine. \ Six miles of State Roads.
 Electric light and power plant, Complete Sewer System.
 Never-failing water supply and the best water in the state. . Wide-awake Business Mems Association. Extensive lime and iron industries. Fraternal and benefit societies. Brass band. Up-to-date department storas. Pure air and wholesome climate.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
rELEPHoNE:. CANAAN 12s RING
AS AN ADVERTISING MEDIUM

The News should appeal with special force to the sagacious business man.
 It has an extensive circulation in Western Connecticut, and especially throughout Litch- field County and Southern Berkshire.
 It has 8 competent staff of wide-awake cor respondents in the various towns to report the local doings each week, and goes into the homes and is perused by the entire families of the thrifty intelligent, reading class of people whom the long-headed advertiser most desires to reach.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
THE NEWS AGENTS

Extra copies of The News are on sale at thu of1ceof publication and at
 Dempsey's Drug Store, Canaan, Egg2estor's Drug Store, Sharon, Post Office, East Canaan. D. H. Oakes' Store. Lakeville, Post Office, Falls Village, George T. Johnson's Store, Norfolk, F. H. Smith & Co.'S Store Ashley Falls. W. D. French, Sheffield, Mass. A. L. Dickinson. Salisbury. J. W. Morgan, Great Harrington, Mass.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

Cheer up, ye mortals all athirst
 The sky's o'ercast with signs of wet The parching drouth has seen it's worst
 And we'll be happy yet, you bet
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

The secret of the dope clubs apprecia- tion of the joy of life in Pittsfeld. is thus disclosed by Joe Hollister, the Eagles dopester "A man is able to get a number of horns right in the center of the city-he doesn't have to go into the woods at all if he doesn't care to-"
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

Meantime the Canaan Business Mems Association banquet is coming along, with it's overpowering spirit of goodfel- lowship, to cement the concrete bonds of what-you-may- call-it and whoop 'er up for brotherly love and gettogetherpull. together Hooray!
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
When in doubt keep it to yourself.

The self constituted slate-makers aee still. fguratively. speaking subpoerae- ing candidates for congressman from this new Fifth district. Many are chosen, but few are in range of the political | lightning.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

By the way, referring to the subject of sidewalks and committees thereon-But on second thought we desist from refer ring to the subject of sidewalks and committees thereon.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

Of course, on the face of the returns,
 Yale was apparently trimmed by Prince ton. But Yale had the better team, played the more skillfuI game, and woRld have given Princeton sound thrashing
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

This is time for sober thought and sober judgment. The other kind would arouse suspicion and might start the subpoenae machine running again. Far be 1t so!
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

In his unoccupled moments, when he isn't doing something, the scribe is writ ing popular ballad, to be entitled. "The Burial of the Ratchet, or, Whats the Use P''
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

Just year ago the Berkshire trolley construction paymaster was held up and robbed of $1O,OOO. And nobody has ever confessed.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

The Governor of North Carolina didn't have anything on the average citizen of this little old burg.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
Atwood Alter AveriII.

Refusing to down, pr. Frank G. At, wood, of New Haven. Nemesis of the State Domestic Animal Commissioners, came back Friday with all open letter to the departments local agent. alleging incompetence and carelessneSs, and holding the State department, from Commissioner AverilI down, responsible for the prevalence, of glanders around the tate.
 Commissioner H. O. Averill, of Wash ington Center, on the other hand, stated that persons having knowledge or suspicion of glanders cases were negli- gent in not reporting the cases to him. Averill said that every case reported to his department was promptly handled. He believed there was less glanders today in New Haven, Stamford and Green wich, where epidemics have occurred, than six months ago.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
ILOVE TO THINK.
BY EMMA RoDEMEYER WATT

I love to think fond dreams we've had Just ran away to play And we will meet them all again, Perhaps some other day. love to think they'll all come true, Those dreams so sweet, so dear And that they'll greet us smilingly Where never falls 8 tear.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

All things come to him who waits in the right place and keeps his scoop net spread out.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

It behooves the wayfarlng man to stel high if he doesn't want to get his under pinnings all tangled up in olive branches
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

Subscribers are requested to notify the pub Nsh CT promptly of any failure to receive papers regularly, changes of residence etc.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

Get Together. Pull Together. That's the way to raise liberty-pole.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

What's the matter with the man who's talking to the policeman?"
 "Why, that's Brown, the professor of mnemonics. He's forgotten the number of his street. ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
WRITE LETTER ABoUTIT

Communications on subjects of general inter est to The News readers are invited, but no attention will be paid to anonymous letters
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

"There' one thing have noticed about the man who sympathizes with himself" " Whats that"
 "The world seems to think he does it so we'll that it lets him do it unassisted." Chicago Record Herald.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

"How does young Casnlt manage 70 kill timer"
 "He joined an amateur singing soci't 'ty and that gave him chance to murder il. Baltimore American.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
ADVERTISE
 If you
 Want a cook Want a partner Want a situation

Want a servant girl
 Want to buy property Want to sell your groceries Want to sell your automobile Want to buy an automobile Want customers for anything Advertise constantly in The News Advertising is the key to success Advertising brings you customers Advertising keeps your customers Advertising insures success Advertising shows progress Advertise to advise
 Advertising is "Biz"
 Advertise or bust
 Advertise long
 Advertise we'll
 Advertise
 Now in The Connecticut Western News.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
MISCELLANEOUS

PEABODY, Optometrist and scientific optcian. will be at Mrs. NJ. A Halls. Falls Village, Ct, Dec B-7
 AR. EATEN, optiean of Torringtou ,onn., will be at The Gauneld" hotel the first Mon- day and Tuesday afternoons of each month. If unable to call send postal. Consultation free 5. R. STARK, Nurse, Canaan. Telephone ls-2
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

FOR SALE-Two cylinder Maxwell Runabout in nrst class condition New tires all around. Looks and runs like new. A bargain. Could be used for light delivery car if desired. George M. Bullock, Canaan Garage, Canaan. Conn. DOG FOR sALE-Black Water Spaniel. In- quire of Frank Snyder, Canaan.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
WANTED

WANIEU-At EEIhb BhFtFun.' ShnrOn. a Whito waitress, temporary or permanent.
 WANTED-A reliable man or woman in every locality Co take the agency for our various Home Remedies, Extracts. Essences etc A good proposition for n hustler. Our Remedies arc money makers. Write for particulars to the Dill Medicine Co, Norristown. Pa
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23

FOR SALE--Fine Barred Plymouth Rocks. One young cock and two cockerels.
 Mrs K. M. Sedgwick, Falls Village, R, F. D.
Connecticut western news., 1911-11-23
Cent-a-Word Advertisements
 Minimun Charge 25 Gents ~.
FOR SALE

FOR SALE-Englsh Beagles. Just the right age to train for this falls rabbit hunting Thoroughbreds and bred to hunt
 John l.. Thurlough,
The searchlight., 1911-08-11
Bank Will ReOrganize

The stockholders Of The First
National Bank Of Culbertson have
concluded to reorganize or change
from a national bank to a state
bank, and the change will take
place on the fifteenth day OF Au-
gust, 1871. The state bank laws
are slightly different from the ma
tional bank laws inasmuch as the
former allows banks to loans On
real estate mortgages while the
latter do not. The following prom
inent men of Culbertson and Pop
lar are the organizers ana stock
holders OF the State Bank Of Cul-
bertson, viz: r. E. Patch and
c. Gregory Of Poplar, g. w. Tan
The searchlight., 1911-08-11
Wife Got Tip Top Advice

MY wife wanted me to take our boy to
the doctor to cure an ugly boil writes ID
Frankei. of Stroud. Okla. II said put
Bucklen's Arnica Salve on ia She did SO.
and il cured the boil in a short time. .
Quickest healer Of Burns. Scalds. Cuts.
Corns. Bruises. Sprains. S~ellinss. Bes,
Pile cure on earth. Try it. Only zsc a,
Valley Drug Store.
The searchlight., 1911-08-11

ner, S. p. Mitchell, Thomas Cour-
chene, S. S. Moen, w. +. Steph-
ems, ]. E. Peterson, X o. Slette,
l. o. Slette. A meeting OF the
ockholders will be held in a day
or two for the election OF officers
OF the new bank which will be an
nounced next week.