davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
3.35l SMITHS LIVE IN GOTHAM.

The Smith tribe is thriving, as
usual. the new city directory of the
boroughs of Manhattan and the
Bronx.
The 1851 Smiths. not to count the
Smits. Smithes, Smythes, Smyths-
Smithys, Smithers Smithlens. Smith
leys. Smithliens, Smithsons and Smit-
mans, leave even the prolific Murphy
and Brown battalions far in the rear.
There are twenty-one widows named
Mrs. Catherine Smith.
The Browns are less than half the
Smiths. with $3.50, while the Joneses
number only 857.
Many will be surprised to learn
that there are only IA Persons in
this museum of curiosities. Still
more confusing is the presence of 81
Childs, SO Childses, 2 Men. 6 Mans,
1853 Manns and 2 Pcopleses.
There are 4 Schoolhouses in the
city. There is a High man and a
Low contingent to the number of 73.
There are 3 Blocks and Book
binders; also IL Hacks.
There are only 3 Boyes to the II
Yards and 3 Bases. One Rum is
credited to the town, and II Balls
with 9 Bats.
Beans there are to the number of
13. % Dills, l Pickle and II Frank
furters. There is only l Captine to
the single Troop. There are 33 Beers
2 Dark. "a Light, and many Roots.
There are 80 Glasses and only l
Schooner. Eight Beveridges are
set down, besides 16 Settlers, 10
Schnapps and 81 Veins. Two Drink
ers, 2 Boozers. l Drinkwine and l
Drinkwater are among us. Four
persons. at least. are Sober. To the
one Home, there are several hundred
Bells.
The directory records the presence
OF 132 Cranes, 8 Bears, % Beevers.
20 Hogs, Rabbit and innumerable
Wolfs. Also 4 Mules, Hogs, Goats,
Rats l Gait and Cow.
There are 20 Woods and 3 Forests,
Is Robins. 10 Ravens. 2 Thrushes
and q Larks.
There are 3 Dubs in the city and
20 Smarts besides 80 Quicks,. Light
body and 10 Lightfoots. Fifty call
themselves Kitcham and 25 Ketchum.
One man named Slow and 3 Stick re-
sides here.
Two Woods 20 Cottens, Knit, l
Twin, 4 Twists and Twitchlngs; 3
Suffers and 2 Suits are also among
us, as we'll as Suns. % Moons. 5
Mercuriors, Venus, 6 Mars, 3 Jupi-
ters, 4 Wains. 5 Stars and "a STAIRS.
A Cheer. IL Merrys. 10 Joys, ]
Care and 8 Dulls swell the list.
Other New Yorkers bear the names
of Grim, Ham, Prettymen, Rank,
Rott, Selling, Buyer, Cantaloupe.
Combs, Fatt, Lean, Speare, Plump,
Spear, Sword, Good, Better Best.
Bad, Worst, Rich, Poor, Shade. Sun
SHINE, Milk and Honey,
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
SILLY CAUSES OF LITTLE QUARRELS

No one is perfect, and everyone
appreciates this fact; yet some peo-
pie will allow their lives to be totally
wrecked because they have discov-
cred some defect in the character of
one they love, says the Detroit News-
Tribune. This usually applies to
lovers or married people. To be
sures the majority of marriages sur
vive long number of years of COM
fort, and, let US trust, of happiness;
but occasionally q couple will get
stranded before their bark sails out
of the honeymoon harbor, which re-
calls the saying that the only re-
liable thing in marriage is it's un-
certainty"
Many married men suffer most
keenly because they can not agree
upon certain subjects. Some can
argue and keep their tempers; some
are broad-minded enough to allow
others to think at variance with
themselves without taunts or sar-
casm. But others keep coming back
to the troublesome theme as though
fascinated with the very distress it
causes, until a breach is made which
widens every day. If a couple can
not argue without painful conclu-
sions it would be wei. to tactfully
avoid such subjects as cause dis
agreement, be they social, domestic
or religious.
Then there is the determination to
have ones own way, regardless of
the feelings and desires of another,
which causes much misery among
married couples. And many times
the trouble is too trifling for intel
ligent consideration, yet it brings
most acute unhappiness in its train.
Such an instance, so foolish as to
be hardly creditable, yet valuable as
q lesson to young married people, is
the following story:
A young couple were married un-
der the brightest OF auspices. and
their friends predicted for them only
happiness. But the very first day OF
abe honeymoon their welded lives
came to an abrupt and tragic termi-
nation from the simplest of causes.
The bride had brought with her a
parasol of vivid, aggressively red
color, to which her husband object
ed. He begged her not to use it, but
she persisted. The dispute grew
warmer and warmer; heated words
were exchanged. until as last in an
impulse OF anger the bridegroom
snatched the sunshade out of his
wife's hand and threw it into the
sea. This ended their life together,
for the indignant young wife took
the next train to her mothers home,
and from that day to this the foolish
people have never met.
In another case, a dispute as to the
pronunciation of q word completely
wrecked the married life of q young
couple and brought their little trag.
edy into the light Of the law courts.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
To the Editor.

One day the Office boy went to the
editor OF the Soaring Eagle and said:
There is a tramp at the door,
and he says he has had nothing to
eat for six days"
Fetch him in" said the editor,
if we can find out how he does it,
we can run the paper for another
week.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
Way Of the Waves.

A strange thing about waves that
are rolling in from the sea Is that
they bring no water with them. While
these mad waves are rolling In piece
of driftwood may ride them steadily
and make progress away from the
land. This Is for the reason that
waves are made in the very way q
wrinkle may be pushed across the
tahlecloth with o pencil laid fat The
tablecloth does not advance. but the
ridge, because Of a force bearing on
It. goes forward.-New York Tribune.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
Neither Rot Nor Sympathy.

Teacher Willie. did your father
cane you for what you did in school
yesterday? Pupil No, ma'am. He
said the licking would hurt him more
than 1t would me. Teacher-What
rot. Your father is too sympathetic.
Pupil-No. ma'am. but he's got the
rheumatism in both arms. - Lppin-
colts.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
HOME HELPS.

When cutting bread and butter
very thin. dip the knife occasionally
in very hot water.
Stains on silverware made by u.s.
ing eggs will quickly disappear il
rubbed with q little salt.
Wooden spoons and pastry boards
will repay a good scrubbing with
sand in preference to soap.
To serve porridge without un-
pleasant sticking. dip the spoon first
in milk and then serve.
To prevent mating from yellow
ing rub it with q large. coarse cloth
that has been dipped in strong salt
water.
Tokeeppancakes from being greasy
and flabby, do not have the batter
too thick, and be sure that the fat is
piping hot.
A bit OF sugar dissolved in the
water in which cut flowers are stand
ing is an English way of keeping the
blossoms fresh.
II half a teaspoonful OF baking.
powder is added to the milk used in
preparing mashed potatoes, they
will be fluffy and light.
Clothes lines and pegs will las,
much longer If they are boiled for
ten minutes when new. 1t is a good
plan to repeat the boiling occasion
ally.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
cempe,itien Of Greek Vases.

Experiments show that the black
glaze Of the Attic styles of vase II due
to ferrous iron. probably as silicate,
while the red glaze Of the Mycenaean
style is probably due to ferric iron.
These views are supported by synthet-
ic experiments. The complete analysis
Of fragments Of vases shows that the
Mycenaean pottery h much poorer IN
silica and richer in lime and therefore
more fusible than the Attic.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27

According to theory recently enun-
ciated by Professor Lenard. the au-
rora borealis is formed of cathode
rays, emitted by the sun and detected
by the terrestrial magnetic field in the
upper strata Of the atmosphere. The
velocity Of these cathode rays must
be nearly equal to that Of light and
very much greater than the velocity
Of cathode rays produced in the labo-
ratory. Lenard concludes that these
extremely hard" cathode rays are
emitted by unknown radioactive sub
stances in the sum-.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27

A prominent German biologist main
tains that man made serious mistake
when in his Development he made q
biped Of himself. He contends that
the backbone structure of man was
designed for a horizontal position and
that many of the ills which he Is sub
ject to are due to this departure.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
.One Better.

Prima Donna-I have here a certia-
cate from a doctor to the effect that l
can't sing tonight. Manager-Why go
to all that trouble? I'll give you q
certificate that you never could singl-
London Tit-Bits.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
xIscrR1o CARRIER FOR LOADING sH1,

xLBCTRlC CARRIKR FOR LOADING SHIPA
frame. and the wiring extends from
end to end. which makes possible the
placing of push buttons ut various dis
tances, so that the motors may be
started Mt any point.
The endless carrier moves at a speed
Of from IS to 100 feet per minute. can
handle 5000 pieces Of freight per hour
and Is operated easily at any angle up
to forty-flve degrees.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
Electric Pencils.

A novelty that will appeal especially
to the motorist and the physician b q
pencil with an electric light IN It. This
illuminates a sheet Of paper. and one
can write with ease In the darkness.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
Guessin(.

He (bashfully)-DOes your mother
object TOTO kissing?
She-Why, George. would you
rather kiss mother than me?
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27

For an excellent French dressing
take a teaspoon OF salt. one-fourth
teaspoon OF mustard. one-eighth tea
spoon of pepper, two tablespoons
OF sugar, one tablespoon of finely
chopped onion. four tablespoons OF
vinegar, three-fourths cup of water;
mix well. set aside and keep cold,
then pour over salad just before
serving.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
Why He Ssopped.

They had been engaged only a
week. He had kissed her fully a
hundred times that evening. When
he stopped the tears came into her
eyes and she said:
Dearest, you have ceased to love
me-"
mo, l haven't" he replied, but
/ must breathe"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
Wide a the Ocean.

My bonnet spreads over the ocean,
My bonnet spreads over the sea;
To merely spread over the sidewalk
Is not enough for me.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
Psalm of Speed.

Lives of rich men oft remind us
We can make our lives likewise
And, departing, leave behind US
Dust clouds in the poor man s eyes
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27

TRUE. there is an end to all things;
but OF most it is better to be associ-
ated with the front end than the
rear.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27

Mashed potatoes. any left over lean
meat (chopped), butter or fat; roll
the potatoes into balls, press hol.
low in the top OF each ball with q
teaspoon; season the meat and fill it
into the hollow balls; place in a
creased pan with little butter or
fat on the top of each ball, then
brown in the oven and serve hot.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27

Hatred is like fire. It makes even
light rubbish deadly-Euot.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27

PEOPLE who prate about their great
love for the truth often know very
little of it.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
Chile Cen Game and Clam Chowder

served daily at Theodore Werlen's
lunch counter in the rear of Charles
saloon. Cali in and get a bowl.
Conee and doughnuts till 9 A. NJ.
merchants lunch atnoon. Teddy"
smile.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-10-27
ENDLESS CARGO CARRIER.

Electrically Driven convsyor For Load.
ing Ships.
This automatic. electrically driven
conveyor II used In loading and un-
loading the Mauretania and Lusitania.
The motors are located inside the steel
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-04-15
APPRAISER PLANS CHANGES
VIII Confer with Secretary Mac.
Veagh on Reorganization

Francis W. Bird. Appraiser OF the Port
'elt New York last night for Washington.
M"efe nc VIII confer with Franklin Mac
Neagh' Secretary Of the Treasury. on vart-
Gus changes contemplated in the o-ganiza-
ZION or the Appraisers office. Mr. Bird
mad several conferences this woek wiz,
James F. Curtis. Assistant Secretary ot tho
treasury. and Yesterday. after another visit
VI MT curtis to this city. 1t was decid ID
70 SUBMIT definite plans for the impending
reorganization 20 Mr. Macveagh.
MI Curtis also conferred YESTERDAY witt
collector Loeb. II was hoped that he might
De able TO inspect a cargo Of imported lem
ons and watch their examination. AZ tho
treasury Department is Just now confront
cd with the question Of what allowance
snail be made for rot In assessing duty on
imported lemons. No cargo had arrived.
however and Mr.. Curtis viii return next
week 10 look at the practical demonstra-
ZION or what ~ would mean II every crate
or lemons had 10 be inspected. instead of
making a fiat allowance OF 10 per cent on
the whole cargo
In regard 10 the matter OF textile sam
pies Mr.. Curtis said he believed a commits
sion would be appointed Ia study the CUES
ton abroad An invitation Of the Treasury
Department issued TO foreign manufactur-
ers 70 send TO the customs officials here
samples OF the textiles they intended 10 dis
pose OF In the American market during the
coming season was met with protests from
French end German manufacturers Al
though these samples We're desired for the
aid OF the appraisers only. the foreign
manufacturers feared that the samples
might be used by manufacturers here for
competitive purposes
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-04-15
OFFICE HOURS FOR PARSONS
Park Board Passes Resolution Affect
ing Landscape Architect.

II was learned at the Park Department
yesterday that on motion Of Thomas J.
Higgins. PARK Commissioner for The Bronx.
AT the Park Board meeting on THURSDAY
that body adopted the resolution or Com
missioner Slower 10 make the duties Of the
landscape architect from . 10 5 daily ex
cept SATURDAY. when the hours are 20 be
from until r.
on April 7 Samuel Parsons. the landscape
architect. received a letter from Commits
sioner Slower telling him that with the
approval of the other commissioners" he
would Hereafter have the same working
hours as others IN the Park Department.
The letter also informed Mr.. Parsons that
his time records must be submitted 10 the
three commissioners FOR approval before
being filed IN the central office in the
Arsenal.
Mr.. Parsons said yesterday that ne would
bow % the will Of the board, and would
have done so before, but he had considered
the place an advisory one without definite
hours.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-04-15
END OF FINANCE PATRONAGE
Civil Service Would Put 81
pIaces in Classified List.

r. resolution OF the Municipar CNi
se-,-ica commission. which has oech ioi
,.arded IN Mayor Gaynor for his approval
the hulk OF the patronage OF the FINANCE
Dena-tment is taken away. This reso!u-
,io, which cannot become effective WIFI
al, the approval of the state CiVil Ger
,-,,o Commission. provides that ninety
reven places in the Finance Department De
Transferred from the exempt 10 the Gas
sised LIST This means that the present IN
cumbents could not be removed except on
charges.
AS most OF these places are now nlieo
nv Republicans. who have been placed III
Office since Controller Prendergast became
head of the department, the passage or the
resolution is likely TO give more trouble 10
the Democrats when they elect Controller
than il does TO Controller Prendergast.
The resolution leaves only fortyfour ex-
empt places in the Finance Department
Those which il would transfer TO the clas-
sifled list are twenty-five auditors or ac-
counts. three deputy auditors, Twenty-Five
cashiers sixteen expert accountants, thir-
teen examining inspectors, six examiners
OF accounts OF institutions and eight bank
messengers
Controller Prendergast did not ask for
the proposed transfer. but az several hear
ings that were held by the Municipal Civil
Service Commission he did not oppose the
changes except in so far as they affected
tho auditors. He held that these were con-
ddential positions and that insomuch as he
was under heavy bonds I'm regard TO the
payment Of the city money IL was necessary
that such appointments be personal ones.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-04-15
INDIA PAPER FORMAL
Volumes of 1000 Pages Each But One
Inch Thick

If the manner Of its production makes the
new Encyclopaedia Britannica more valuable
possession than were any OF It's predecessors,
the new edition is marked also by material
Improvement which will render the work many
times more useful. BY the use OF India paper,
it has been found possible to replace the pom
derous quarto of former editions by a thin,
light and flexible volume measuring one inch
in thickness, as against nearly three. And this
without sacrifice Of legibility or strength, for
while the opaqueness, the whiteness, the
toughness, and the hard printing face of the
India paper page are all that could be wished.
the new formal can be safely handled IN a
way which would quickly disintegrate its mas
sive predecessor.
A distinguished clergyman says: "Ths
change from the ponde'oas, Jorbtddfng DOL
ames Of the past TO this charming hod,a tdtsy
issue represents nothing less than an s1sttrs-
ton Of genius.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-04-15

Their. were interesting transit Developments yester.
ds thanks TO disclosures made by the president OF the
P-ootlvn Rapid Transit Company Two weeks ago that
cotroraton took the bull by the horns suppementng us
.r ~ extensions in Brooklyn Manhattan and Queens by
Intending The Trborough subway proposal II com
,;,d with request to keep this offer secret for the time
t; bt since then conditions have arisen that prompt
,rtj;c-v Hence the statement Of the president Coonel
r s Williams
= holds nothing in reserve T clear. straghtfo
d ,es.n+ation Of what the corporation for winch he
,D..t, :, or.par.d 10 do And in marked contrast
NTH -. fashion in which the marlborough purports 20
deal with the CITY Never has there been furnished the
s -.ason for supposing that the marlborough will do
ANYTHING Of its own volon From the beginning ITS pref
..-..s h.v. al been IN the direction of Standing pat
- concession. so called it has made has been the re-
suit OF pressure -.
Ths-. s difference between the display Of spirit
.t q. mi. and the attitude Of the Rapid Transit Com
w r yyss somewhat tardy in entering the field but
s = mad. ts appearance Il created the impression OF
:. Com ram. run1ors 70 the effect that Compel
49,; 90. more seeming than real-that il acting IN
.+ Nth N. marlborough but conclusive proof TO the
,or+r,r, has been forthcoming Nothing surer than
shat the marlborough, for the best or reasons "o INV
- G.. II retire from the field altogether
Tn. conditions precipitatng disclosure are significant
y,4 e sad IN conference is Of matter OF rec
d Mrs what is done But the subway SITUATION has al
s,,s had ar atmosphere" sometimes comparatively rare
Sod ~ others thick enough Usually there has been more
ba, sufficient warrant for the supposon that the situa
. was controlled by the marlborough that what were
c,ud the Interests dominated but with new admins
,r.ton came new hypothesis
tn be frank about it, this atmosphere has not as
appeared To be still franker' the Mayor =" '@l -
.;,t % the Tncrborough He is credited Justly or other
Nth preference Statements to this effect are not
.;srouslv but they persist and they do not appear
. - ,+ooether unsupported by events Then there are
o;u4,..;ors To the Rapid Transit Company they seem
70 Justify the apprehension that IS being used merely 10
lore, the hand OF Iuerborough or as CLUB TO assist
the CIV, +; is negotiations with that company So Coionc
y,;l concluded that secrecy might have disadvantages
a. we'll ss conversations.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-04-15
Ideal In Its Motive

IF conceded that the crying need of the intelligent person OF
to-day emancpated from the intellectual isolation i'm
posed by his enforced ignorance of all but the meres tfac
ton of modern knowledge would be difficult to conceive OF
of which the purpose oer ideal than that which
the editors the Encyclopaedia Britannica held before them
Having scientifically calculated purpose the authoritative pres
entaion ineligible language Of CD the pivotal facts the
latest exegess 3) the constructive viewpoint in every field OF
enquiry which possibly interest civilized people, cons
unvera standard whereby the general reader can adjust n
mental compass bring his individual outlook into harmony with
that wider outlook have in mind when think OF the
modern man as child on the giants shoulders
many homes this great work destined to bring reef
from the intellectual provncam of too environment
many minds will define and satisfy the vague aspiration
after wider mental horizons how many original and even Gre
alive nteec its pages will afford indication of their true
vocation impossible foree but can least be reason
ably claimed ideal its writers set before them measures the
whole width of gulf which separates the evils of comparative
ignorance from the blessings of general knowledge
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-04-15
HITS BOY AND SPEEDS AWAY
Young Negro Seriously Hurt by Auto
and Companions Narrowly Escape.

While at play IN front Of No. So West 1S2d
street yesterday Charles Z. Beaker, a
seven-year-old negro boy was run down
by an automobile and injured so badly that
he is not expected TO live. The chauffeur
Of the machine put on all speed after run
ming down the child and escaped. Harry
" Hall, the chauffeur was arrested last
night and locked I'D in the East 1e6'h street
station charged with felonous assault ami
with violation Of the highway code. lie
said mo was employed by Louis r. Kunz. Of
1921 street and Grand Concourse.
The car was going east at high rate Of
speed and a little knot of children had
scarcely enough time TO get ont of its
path All OF them escaped except the
young negro. He was thrown nearly
twenty feet and the base Of his skull was
fractured. He was taken 20 Harlem Hos
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-04-15
BLIND GET EASTER FLOWERS.

The oldest Of all the Easter flower dis
tributions was made Yesterday by blind
men and blind women acting as distribut-
ing agents for the Lighthouse Of the New
York Association for the Blind. No. nS
East seth street and as committees for the
blind mems and blind women's clubs.
Friends or the association have sent IN a
large number of plants. including part Of
a special importation Of growing lilies from
Bermuda Almost without exception the
flowers are. on growing plants and are Of
the scented varieties. as the blind gain
pleasure from smelling these flowers. as well
a. from seeing" them with their trained
fingers. The fingers Of the blind are so
delicate that plants seem to thrive under
their seeing touch.