davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14
Pr.,kiru II Gently.

Servant-You got cheated when you
bought chiny vase. mum. Mistress
How cheated? Servant-Why, it's
weak. 1t busted all to smash the first
time dropped t.-Toledo Blade.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14

At the national corn show held the
latter part Of January at Columbus.
O., the first prize of 81 900 for the best
ten ears of corn exhibited was award
ed to Roy Clore. a lad nineteen years
old, Of Franklin. Ind. 1t will be re-
membered that his father. L. r: Clore.
won the championship prize in 1907
and 1908 and was barred from COM
peting. but it is fair assumption that
the boy had some Of the old gentle
mans seed corn as well as the benefit
Of his many years Of experience.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14
A Good joke.
{ Is q good Joke ~

"What is good joke"
"Auy joke you have read that makes
YOU sore because you didn't think of it
vourself."- ."-EZchange.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14
Tommy's CONGRATULATIONS.

Reggie-Tommy. do you know I'm
going to marry your sister? Tommy
Then l think I'll go and congratulate
mother.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14

To one who has made the rail trip
across the Utah deserts it seems i'm
possible that men from the more hu.
mid eastern states would have the
hardihood to locate there and under
take dry farming. and yet this is ey.
actly what is being done. AS a result
the big sheepmen who have herded
their focks on the mountains in the
summer months and in the winter on
the deserts, where they suhSist on
sagebrush and cactus. contend that
this movement Of settlers to the desert
means the ultimate extinction Of the
grazing business as it has been known
in years past.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14

There are men who will wait pa
tientlv fer the free lunch to Re
served and then go home and start
a rough house because dinner isn't
ready on time.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14

Good actions cnnob.e us. AMI we ore
th. sors of our own de~ds.-Cervantcs.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14

For the fifth time Carter Har-
rison was elected mayor of Chicago
in the election held Tuesday, de-
ieating Charles E. Merriman, Re-
publican, by IS, 600 majority. Mr..
Harrison has been out of office
for quite a few years and his cleo
ton is quite tribute to him. His
fathc: hcr rrc him served the Windy
City as mayor for several years
and was shot in his home several
years ago. =
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14

Malice drinks one.half Of its owl
poison.-Seneca.
The same difference in atmospheric
conditions which relieves the dweller
Of low and humid sections of his asth.
ma when he removes to higher and
drier country rids horses of the heaves
If they make the same change. Il
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14

In the mining Of gold and silver at
Leadville. Colo. for years past little
attention has been paid to the thou,
sands of tons of oxides or other met
ais which have been cast aside IA
worthless. Lately, however, 1t has
been found that this waste contains a
very large per cent of zinc oxide of a
very high grade. while there are lit
orally millions of tons of it nntouch-
ed in tie neighborhood. 1t is estimat-
ed that this newly realized source OF
wealth will bring to Leadville more
revenue than was ever received for all
her silver and gold.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14

In serving as a judge Of an exhibit
Of grains at farmers institute a
short time since the writer weighed a
sample of Swedish select oats thar
tested forty-two pounds to the buShel
and two other samples Of white oats
that weighed forty pounds to the
bushel each. Several samples Of
wheat examined showed like plump
ness and soundness aof berry. which
furnished proof that the heat moisture
conditions for the maturing OF the
grain were as nearly ideal as could be.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1911-04-14
Your. tongue is coated.
Your breath is foul.

Your breath is foul.
Headaches come and 60.
These symptoms show that your
stomach is in trouble. To remove
the cause is the first thing, and
Chamberlin's Stomach and Liver
Tablets will do that. Easy to take
and most effective. Sold by Dr.,
K. H. Trimble.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19

ing over this property. The headquar-
tiers will be- At Weldon, N. G. William
G. whitner will be president, and Fritz
sitterding secretary and treasurer.
Although Mr.. Gould has admittedly
spent much time prospecting In Vir-
ginia himself, his operations have been
carried ON largely by cousin, Rob
ert Northrop. Whitner and Sitterding.
whitner, who is southerner OF
quiet and unassuming manner, is said
to be one of the ablest engineers In
the country. He was urged by Gould
to obtain and develop the large water
powers ON the James river at Rich
mond, on the Appomattox at Peters
burg and on the Rappahannock at
Fredericksburg and last on the Ro-
anoke river at Weldon.
Another of the valuable Gould prop
critics which Is being rapidly deyel-
oped is the Richmond and Chesapeake
railroad. More than $S,0o0,000 has al
ready been spent on this work. Miss
Helen Gould Is said to be interested
In this and other projects with her
brother
One of Mr.. Gould's associates said:
"Frank ]. Gould, who Is now but
little more than thirty years old, 10
one OF the smartest business men In
this country.
II have watched him for several
years now and know him to be thor
oughly practical. Like his father. Mr..
Gould seldom let's the public know
what he is about until his purpose has
been accomplished. The properties
which now constitute almost monop-
oily of the Virginia lighting, power
and traction interests, have all been
acquired through confidential agents
| In this way"
Frank J. Gould was born In 1878 and
is the youngest son OF Jay Gould
| He was educated In the New YORK
| university and later was assistant te
| his brother George. who was presi
| dent Of the Missouri Pacific railway
later was first vice president of the Mis-
souri, Pacific and official Of various re
lated lines; president of the Big Creel
Lumber company and president and Oil
rector OF many other corporations. II
the past the papers have been full o.
Mr.. Gould's matrimonial affairs. 81
having attained almost as much pub
| licity as other celebrated members Of
| the family. He was married In l9ol
to Miss Helen NJ Kelly, who had
fortune in her own right. The two
had been childhood friends. After
few years they separated, and In l9o'
Mrs. Gould sued for legal separation
and the case was In the papers 10
many weeks. He was married agar
In 1910. this time to Miss Edith Kelly
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
Einured the Wrana Way.

"Two old salts who had spent most
of their lives on fishing smacks had
an argument one day as to which
was the better mathematician" said
George G. Wiedenmayer the other day.
Finally the captain of their ship pro
posed the following problem, which
each would try to work out: III fish.
ing crew caught 500 pounds Of cod and
brought their catch to port and sold II
at G cents pound. how much would
they receive for the fish,
"Well. the two old fellows got to
work, but neither seemed able to mas
ter the intricacies of the deal In fish
and were unable to get any answer.
"At last old Bill turned to the cap.
tain and asked him to repeat the prob.
lem. The captain started of. If a fish
ing crew caught 800 pounds Of cod
and
"'WaIt q moment said Bill. Is II
goldfish they caughtY
"'Yep,' said the captain.
"'Darn 1t ALL said Bill. No wonder
couldn't get an answer. Here I've
been figuring on salmon all the time
Newark Star.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19

to feel better when had taken only
one bottle of Compound, but kept on
as was afraid to stop too soon." Mrs.
SADIE MULLEN, 272S N. b. ST., FL
wood, Ind.
Why will women take chances with
an operation or drag out a sickly,
half-hearted existence, missing three
fourths of the joy Of living, when they
can find health in Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compounds
For thirty years it has been the
standard remedy for female ills, and
has cured thousands Of women who
have been troubled with such all
ments as displacements, Inflammation.
liberation, fbroid tumors, irreglilari-
ties, periodic pains, backache, indiges-
ton, and nervous prostration.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia IL. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound Will help you.
write to Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn,
Mass, for advice. Your letter
will be absolutely confidential,
Ind the advice free.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
F. j. Gould
Modern
Croesus

w RANK J. GOULD, youngest son
of Jay Gould, has doubled the
millions Inherited from his IA
- Their by investments in Virgin
la traction interests and water pow
ers.
Frank Gould's share OF his fathers
great fortune was $1a,o0o.Ooo, quiet
ly. but with business sagaeity IKE that
upon which the original wealth OF the
famous family was founded. the young
man has obtained monopoly OF prop
critics which experts say should make
him one of the country's richest men
The fact became known recently
through the presence in New YORK OF
a number of engineers who came TO
confer with Mr.. Gould Chief among
these Is William G. Whitner. an officer
In dozen or more companies when
have been organized during the last
few years.
MIR. Whitner declined to go into the
details of the Frank Gould invest
ments further than TO admit that they
are more extensive than any OF his
New York friends have believed.
From other authoritative sources II
was learned that Mr.. Gould has just
secured control Of $4,000 horse water
power on the Roanoke river
This property Is the nearest large
power to Norfolk. where Mr.. Gould
now owns the street railways and
lighting plants. 1t Is located only sew
enty miles from Norfolk and fifty
miles from Petersburg. where he also
owns everything in that line. The Vir'
ginia and Carolina Power company
was organized for the purpose OF tax
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
UNCLE WALT---rHE POET PHILOSOPHER

In her small pretty Yellow Shawl
Of
Twisted Nose of Ringbones-on Toes. who could
buckng
BALLAD mule tChoru o the noble Twisted Nose was terror
his foes till the pale told him that
lover SCHOOL,
yellow Shawl let
necke smoked
bold
with and
shall Yellow Shawl to call she will
kaydd! Twisted
he
and he'll
be happy after his and quaint)
. ss.s ssA. .a .i,. (NaeANls.n.-
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
Partners In All Thinqs.

A young lawyer in a western town
was taken into partnership with his
father and soon got the idea that be
was the whole firm. He fell into o
habit Of saying at the conclusion of a
successful case:
swell, father. won that case, all
right"
Finally the old man, becoming irri
tated by the sons assumption Of i'm
portance, handed out this advice:
George. it seems to me that when
ever this firm does anything you might
give me half Of the credit Of 1t, Don't
put ON so many airs"
The youth took the advice to heart
and a few days later rushed into the
Office with this report:
"Father, IL mean we--have beer
sued for breach Of promlse"-Populai
Magazine.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
INDIANS ARE ''''
PROGRESSIVE.
Three Tribes Petition For Com
mission Government.
THEY DO NOT LIKE LAWYERS.

Have a Trust Fund Of Six Million Dol.
lars--one indian Wants His People
Kept as Far From Gambling and
Whisky a. the East 10 From tbs
West.
The affiliated Kiowa, Comanche and
Apache Indian tribes are not to be
outdone by their white brothers and
are establishing a commission form Of
government This follows the death
of Quanah Parker. chief of the CO.
manches, to whom a successor may
not be elected, though White Parker,
his son, had been talked Of for the
place. Congress will be asked to ap-
prove the administration of tribal af-
fairs by proposed business commit
tee or commission, composed OF nine
members four Comanches, three Kio-
was and two Apaches. The matter
was thoroughly discussed at a coun'
ell Of the Indians attended by Lieu.
tenant Ernest Stecker. United States
indian agent, and Representative Scott
Ferris of the Fifth Oklahoma congress
sional district The commission Is to
be composed only of young men. active
and capable in tribal affairs.
For several years. unknown to most
of the Indians. there has been COM
mittee or advisory board cooperating
with the Indian agent. Its members
we're Eschiti. limbo Mamsookawat,
Comanches; Ahpeahtone. Lucius Ait.
san. Kiowas. and Apache John and
Mizizooindi. Apaches. De Loss Lone
Wolf. Kiowa, and a graduate OF Car.
isle, and White Parker, Comanche.
ire to be added to the commission.
| Among the Indians who made speech.
9 at the council were Comanche Jack,
thpeahtone, old Chief Lone Wolf of
| ne Kiowas and De Loss Lone Wolf.
comanehe Jack landed squarely Oh
he lawyers, saying that the Co.
nanches did not want a legal repre-
tentative, as the money for an attor.
1ey's salary was merely wasted.
George Hunt, the Kiowa interpreter
wanted laws that would keep the In
iians apart from gambling and whis
| ", "as far as the east is from thu
west" He whacked the Comanchei
" saying that they were the wors
Gamblers of all.
That the commission" idea seems t.
be good thing In the administrator
II the affairs of these affiliated tribe
ts indicated by further proposal I,
create what is known as 'competen
cy" commission, to be composed 0
three white business men, chosen b,
The secretary Of the interior This plal
liz In operation among certain othe
Indian tribes IT is intended that thi
competency commission, if authorized
shall pay $40 monthly to each Indian
In addition to what he receives from
what ia called the grass lease" fund
This payment among the Kiowas
Comanches and Apaches would amour
to about $4,000 a month, there bein
about 800 Indians, of whom 1900 ar
Comanches. IL the tribal funds in tim
should show exhaustion the competer
cy commission then would sell eight
! acres Of each 100 acre allotment /
/ replepish the fund, leaving q hom,
stead Of eighty acres. Representativ
Ferris Ia reported as favoring til
scheme.
Il These affiliated Indians have a totc
tribal trust fund of $4,000, 900, of whic
s4,50o,o0o is In the United States treas
ury.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
[LLINOISCEN1RAL
DULY l, 1919
THE FAST MAIL ROUTE,
Trains Leave Cairo:

Trains Leave Cairo:
10 a. m. Daily Chicago VestlbGia
limited, arriving Chicago l0:40 a III,
2:16 a. m. Daily st. Louis Night
limited, arriving st. Louis 720 a m.
sleeping cars open at $3.50 p. m.
$3.50 a. N. St. Louis Special
500 a. m. Chicago Daily Express,
l1;15 a. IN. St Louis Fast Mail
1ll5 .. m. Chicago Midday Speclai
2:30 p. m. Afternoon Express for
st. Louis, odin. Effngham, Mattoon
and Champaign.
Ais p. m. Thebes Accommodations
AIS p. m. Fulton and Mayfield &C.
commodation. r...
els p. m. Chicago and Casters
Express.
1910 p. m. Chicago Night Express
arriving at Chicago 7:15 a. ~.
2:S03 am. Memphis and Nashville.
$40 a, m. Coach section for Mem,
phis and New Orleans.
$40 a. m. Seminole Limited for
Birmingham and Jacksonville, Fla
800 a. N. Paducah and Louisville
1:41 p. m. Daily Memphis and New
Orleans.
LEG p. m. Daily Nashville, Chatta.
1ooga and Atlanta.
$50 y. m. Paducah and Louisville
Sleeper Paducsh to Louisville, open
at $3.50 p. m,
5:55 p. m. Memphis and New Or.
leans Special.
For through tickets, sleeping car
| accommodations and further inforna.
ton apply at Illinois Central Passep
ger Station, Cairo, iii.
J. n. JONES, Ticket Aat
n. G. PHELPS,
General Pass. ACT. Northern ana
Western lines.
GEO. II. BOWER,
General Pass. ACT Sou. lines.
8. G. HATCH, Passenger Traffic Man.
aaer. ~
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
The Only Way.


He was very raw recruit and par
ticularly stupid at that The drill ser
geant did not know what to do with
him. He had tried patience. he had
tried language, all In vain.
squad, haltr' yelled the sergeant.
The double rank OF the men obeyed,
but the raw recruit marched gayly on.
"FitzmooneyF' shouted the sergeant.
"Yus, sergint"
'Did We ever drive donkeyT'
''Yus. sergint."
"What did We say to him when ye
wanted i'm to stop7"
II said Whoa sergint"
every well. Squad, t'shunl BY the
right, quick. march! Lef, lef, lef!
Squad, halt--whoa, Fitzmooney!"-Tit.
Bits.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19

tnan was paid out by them for the
same purpose in 1904. To turn out
the vast output Of s1,s1s,S21 900,
were required 1902 clerks and
salaried officials and 1886 wage
earners, who added value OF SIeF,-
$4,000 to the value of the raw ma
terials they handled.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19

A countrywoman remarked to her
neighbor during conversation ON
their return from market, How is 1t,
Mary, that you have been married four
times and I've never been married at
ALL and I'm much handsomer than
your
AYE, to be sure" returned Mary,
but 1t AMT handsomeness that does
1t, Sarah. Its the come hither In
your eye"
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19

3l........ .1l4A
III. above Ii a correct Statement
Of the circulation Of The Cairo Bni-
lstir for the Month Of May. 1911. and
faf tile year 1910.
4, CLYDE SULLIVAN.
n Business Manager.
subscrib.., and sworE to before me
gais srd iay OF June, 1911.
LEO. ]. KILLED.,
Notary Public
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19

Die compound. i
was sick t hree
months and coald
not walk. | suf-
fered all the time.
The doctors said /
could not get well
without an opera
ton, for i could
hardly stand the
pains in my sides,
especially my right
one, and down my
right leg. / began
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
CIRCULATION STATEMENT.

Average number Of complete and
perfect copies Of The Cairo
Bulletin printed daily and Sun
day during the year 1910. ..22sl
Average number Of complete and
perfect copies OF The Cairo
Bulletin printed daily and Sun
day during the monsh OF May
Id, .2221
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
HUMOROUS Qu|Ps
Baby-Bye Revised.

Baby Bye,
Here's an insect OF the tribe dipter2s Spe~
cific name Musca domsstiea.
We will watch him,
You and /.
There he goes
On his curiously appendaged extremitissr
leaving q trail Of microbes
over baby's nose.
See him crawl
With his six legs, each having five 3otnted
tarsuses, his three sectioned anten-
nae with the marvellous tactile tips
waving before him,
Up the wall,
Seeking food with his spongy Tipped pro-
boscis. hanging downside up on the
ceiling. Yet, on account OF his claw
like feet and appendage soles,
He will never fall.
BY and by,
When we have finished our scientific OBJ
servations and made few hygienie
suggestions.
Little fly,
Formerly considered harmless. but now
classed by scientists and physicians
as a disease breeding pest to be e1-
terminated
You must die.
j. Wiley Owen in Puck.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
Can You Find IsY

There ia a space between lobster q
la Nevburg and coffee served with
greasy doughnuts where fair amount
OF contentment may be found.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
AFTER NEW SECRETARY.

II Commendable care is being exer-
kised by the Board of Directors OF
the Cairo Commercial Club in Sc
,yecting d successor to the late Chas.
3. Carey, as secretary Of the club.
The Board realizes fully the great
Ibss the club sustained in the death
W Mr.. Carey and the difficulty of Sc
curing some one to fill the place
iii ably as he had filed 1t.
& The Board also feels that the peo-
Bile who subscribed to the Booster
Fund and the members who obligat,
ed themselves to subscribe certai'
sums annually in order to give tn
club a regular working capital ar
entitled to service for the city, an,
they will fill the vacancy as abs
As they can. The Board wants 2
man who is we'll posted about Cairo
Advantages from a traffic man
boint OF view as well as geographl-
cally, industrially and commercially
Ind who will combine with this
knowledge that enthusiasm and
broad-minded loyalty to Cairo which
was strong Characteristic of th'
late secretary and without which ef'
sectiye work may not be REASONABLE,
Expected. Several applications hays
been received by the Board which
will be given due consideration.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19

Who has not noticed that 1t is usually
the black sheep Of the family who Is
Heeced ?--London Mail
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19
WOMAN
ESCAPES
OPERATION
WasCured byLy diaE. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound

Elwood. Ind" your remedies have
cured me and I have only taken six
bottles of Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegeta-
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19

Sometimes 4 Blessing.
Misfortune does not always indiee
injury.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19


Perhaps even the Illinois Issue
Prohibition organ of the state
Which never misses an opportunity
10 hold UP Cairo and Alexander
county as a horrible example," will
tdtmit now that some good may
come out of this city. In its num-
Der of July IA 1t prints picture AMI
Iaudatory sketch Of John w. Perry,
The new Party superintendent for
The southern counties OF the
ttate, who was born in Cairo. And,
Anticipating the Issues retort that
What is good is apt to come out" of
Cairo, IL may be said that there are
1dores and scores Of young men born
IND raised In Cairo just as good ms
Mr.. Perry, who are still here ard
IRE doing very nicely, thank you.
Perhaps one of the strongest ar.
kuments in favor of conserving tht
Nater-power of the state, as con
templated in the Deneen waterwa,
till Is presented in the industrial
Statistics for the state just issued b!
The U. 8. government, to-wit: Nearl,
two billions Of dollars represent
the value Of the manufactures 0
Illinois for 1909 There are 1903,
manufacturing establishments.
rain Of III per cent over 1904. an,
\ their capital Is s1,547,5o1,Ooo. D
10 per cent gain since the same date
They paid out during 1905 the sun
NJ $as4.B70,0oo for wages and sal
aries, which IL 30 per cent NOR
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19

Sheriff Fraser notifies delinquent
personal tax payers that they must
sscome across OH or before the 24tf
Inst. and what he says goes" Al
4 rule owners Of property pay theft
aaxes more grudgingly than the.
Day money for any other purpose
Ahd yet there are few outlays alonf
legitimate lines which yield large
dividend In direct benefits--if tn
bovernment which the taxes sus
sain is what 1t should be, insurinf
protection and promoting peace and
prosperity.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-07-19

.RANK. J. GOULD, youngest son
of Jay Gould, has doubled the
millions Inherited from his fa-
The citizen., 1911-12-15
HE LENDS MONEY ON ANIMALS
Or. Martin Potter Takes Strange
Pledges-How One of Them
Buncoed Him.

Not even the author of the Club OF
Strange Trades" conceived of an odd
er means of livelihood than that of
DR.. Martin Potter, says the New York
correspondent of the Cincinnati
Times-Star. He runs an animal pawn
shop. If you have lion that you
don't need as badly as you need the
money, or want to soak trained bear
for a few weeks, or put up an ele-
phant until you hear from home, go
around to DR.. Potter He'll loan you
the money against your live stock and
he will not charge you any interest.
But you'll have to pay the board Of
your pledge. 81 just drifted into the
business" said DR.. Potter. Il started
out to furnish trained animals to
shows. I've rented everything to show
men from a troup of thoroughbred
horses to a red eyed Numidian lion.
BY and by l found that l had to lend
money now and then to my patrons
and take their stock in pledge. 1t
was a necessity of the business, but
now l like it."
His stables contain elephants and
camels-if you're a regular Snowman
you'll say cam-u-el-and monkeys and
a dozen sorts of dogs and all varie-
ties OF the cat tribe and the deuce
knows what. And his proudest boast
is that he was never stuck but once.
Fellow borrowed $50 from me on .
trick dog" said he. Finest dog
ever saw. I'd have loaned 800 on
him as easy. But 1 wasn't shown all
that dogs tricks by his owner. That
night found that he had been trained
to unlatch the door and get out-and
his owner had not trained him to
come back"