The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-03-20
An Unfortunate
Encomium
By EDWARD IGLEHART
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation, 1871.
By EDWARD IGLEHART


If it Is unconscious is a very nice
thing. but us soon as it becomes con-
sclous It breeds vanity. and vanity Is
the mother Of a large brood Of troubles.
My wife and myself-we are both
Vans-belong to the older aristocracy
of New York. None of our ancestors
would have thought of associating
with the ancestors of persons who are
now in the swim and TO whose circle
we were not admitted. They care
nothing about our ancestors, though
many Of them have heard of my IA
Their who was distinguished com
modore In the navy, and my wife's
grandmother, who was celebrated
New York belle. The places once &C.
cupied by these worthy people are
now filed with the descendants OF
those who sold them oysters and fish
and whose wealth runs away up into
the millions.
But my wife and l were happy I'M
iii certain remark was repeated to
her. One of our old family connec-
lions who owns a box in the diamond
horseshoe"-so called from being that
gallery OF the Metropolitan Opera
House occupied by the multimillion-
aires-gave us the use of il for one
night. The favor nearly caused our
ruin. Soon after that night at the
opera GertTudes cousin, who gave us
the box, said 60 my wife:
1.-THE Earl OF Chapperton, recently
/ from London, asked me who was the
lady in my box on Thursday night,
/ saying at the same time: She's the
most beautiful woman l ever saw.
London could not furnish anything
equal to herr"
The remark was not only repeated to
my wife. but was talked about at ev-
cry function held 10y the golden set
II finally came to Gertrude, added to
in this wise: what pity that Mrs.
Van Valkenburg doesn't take the po-
sition in society that half century
ago was occupied by her grandmother.
the beautiful Betty Van Wyke."
From that moment my dear wife got
the society bee in her bonnet. "Our
family has always kept up in the
world till the present generation" she
said I'VE have $4,000 a year. and
on that we could get on in society.
Connections of ours in the swim would
introduce us. and our especial associ-
ates would be of the older aristocratic
set who are not so rich as these new
commercial people"
"My dear" l protested, "our $4,000
income would not keep us in the swim
. month"
"Not with your management" she
retorted, "but a woman can always
. make money go further than a man.
Let me try. / will show you what l
can do"
; Like a fool | was persuaded. My
wife had no trouble in penetrating the
society skirmish line because Of the
remark of the Earl of Chapperton,
|, which was on every ones lips. She re-
, ceived n number Of invitations, but
found that she must make consider
able outlay for costumes before she
could accept any of them. And since
: the costumes she must rival cost all
the way from several hundred to sew
!, eral thousand dollars, and she must
have different costume for each
function, the amount soon ran up to a
third of our total income. Since our
= ordinary necessary expenditures re-
!, uuired the other two-thirds, 1t was evil
!. dent we would soon run upon the
: rocks. But what is the one matter OF
. womans costumes, expensive though
!. they be. compared with the thousand
: and one other luxuries that must be
provided by people Of fashion. One
b. dinner alone we felt obliged to give
: cost us $500, and it was considered
= plain at that.
We permeated the outer social line
and were making some Roadway into
= the inner circle. We were both disap-
!, pointed in discovering that we must be
v civil to number Of the wives of young
multimillionaires who had married
actresses, and my wife had discovered
" that society was not composed of such
persons as her grandmother had shone
" among. Then something happened
% that called halt to our advance.
A certain Mrs. Van Nalkenburg
p whose income was some S2,00O,OO0 u
wear and who was as homely as
=, ntuEG ltlNts ANhSOh - W ~ 80
for a consideration, the price beinf
e Invitations to certain social climbers t
r her soirecs-that a mistake had beer
Is made in reporting Earl Chapperton'
le remark as to the most beautiful won
~ an In New York The Mrs. Van Val
o. kenburg referred to was the lady
with the S2.O00,OO0 income.
pr Everybody sneered, but as all un
" derstood that to gainsay this edic
r. would cost them the enmity of one
err OF the most powerful women in New
to York society no one dared to lisl
~ word to the contrary. The ear
had returned to England and was no
or 10 be even questioned on the subject
er The moment his lordship's complimen
was appropriated by another my wifi
id Seased to be an object. of curiosit
and. as she had no other claim to b
I admitted 10 society. was dropped. BE
IN sides. any further attention TO her wa
sure TO be resented by the other Mr.
IN Van valkenburg.
e. When the battle was over l dkcov
nr cred that we had eaten upon our car
OF ifal sufficiently to reduce our incom