Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-03-22

--'ace track, giving 1t back TO him later
with proper admonitions- We were
seeking key Schwartz with view
20 having him act for us as book
maker, and we soon located him In
Tont of the Metropo'e. In order to
dazzle him, Bunch led the way to
Rector's.
Leave everything to me- Bunch
whispered, as we shaved our hats and
put our feet under a table.
What kind OF gasolene do you
want to put in your boiler roomT j
inquired, as the waiter drew near.
"A quart Of Green Seal Sec" Bunch
ordered. That's the only fuel for
little me. 1t has every other kind Of
suds pushed of the ice. Green Seal
for mine whenever want to hear the
brides sing-how about It, Ikey?"
key flashed a grin and tried to
swallow his palate, so It wouldn't in
terfere with the wet spell suggested
by Bunch.
key belonged to the dis, dose
and dem" push.
Every sentence he uttered was full
OF splintered grammar.
Every time key opened his word
chest the Kings English screamed FOR
help. and literature got a kick "a the
Stats
He was short and thin, but II was a
deceptive thinness. His capacity for
storing away free liquids was awe
inspiring and a sin.
think key must have been hollow
from the neck to the ankles, with
emergency bulkhsads in both feet.
1t soon developed that key had
been up against losing streak, and
he was about ready to quit till his
hoodoo went of duty, but If we were
willing to pay for the chalk he'd keep
the shop open another week and fol-
low our instructions to the letter.
How much will It set us back for
running expenses?" l inquired, while
key dove into the wine-glass and
came up again for long breath.
only a few hundred" Bunch broke
in. That's merely detail. John
Besides. Wen make Uncle Peter pay
for the medicine II It cures his at
tack Of rush of money to the fingers
he won't care You don't suppose
we're going to open a life-saving sta
ton for his benefit and pay for the
privilege. do you? Not for mine,
Johnny"
You're right, Bunch" / acquiesced
well deduct all expenses before
handing Uncle Peter back his squan-
dered fortune; that's only fair"
is dis old geezer upholstered wit
coin2 Ikey asked.
Who. Uncle PeterY" | answered
Say. he has nearly all there is in the
world. Every time he signs a check
a National bank goes out of exist
.ence He tried to count It once. but
he sprained his wrists and had to
quit"
keys eyes twinkled He was so
deeply interested he forgot to dip up
the bubble-juice.
Uncle Peter" / went on; why,
when he goes into bank the govern.
ment bonds get up and yell, Hello,
Papa! Whenever he cuts coupons It's
like sheep shearing He has mus.
Giles all over him like Shadows. Just
from lifting mortgages. Uncle Peter
can make Rockefeller's wad look as
mean as IS bill at church bazaar.
Every time Uncle Peter thinks how
much money he has he gets enlarge
ment of the brain. Just to accommo.
date the figures-am right, Bunch"
Den why not let dat old CUBAN
upset his dough-pan?" asked key in
establishment "Youse is committin'
a crime to stop an old Gazabo like dat
from cuttin' loose. What he needs
is helper and amt bit busy"
John has his josh rags on; don't
mind him, Ikey!" admonished Bunch.
Uncle Peter is we'll fixed, but II he
keeps on throwing his coin at the
horses they'll kick their initials all
over his assets. sure thing. Now,
boys, it's all understood, Ell? key.
Wen meet you at the track tomorrow
and arrange our plan of campaign.
Here's 10 our scheme, and drink
hearty"
key went overheard for final
swim in the Green Seal, when sud
denly Bunch tapped me on the arm
Look" he said, and the next in
slant l beheld Clara j.. Aunt Martha
and Tacks sailing over in our direc
ton
With a whispered admonition 70
Bunch to keep key still went for.
ward to meet my wife, her aunt and
her small brother.
1T was such a delightful day that
Aunt Martha and l couldn't resist the
temptation to DO a little shopping
Clara J. ratified on; and then we de
cided to come here for bit of lunch
eon-why, Mr.. Bunchl I'm so glad to
see youi | understood John to saw YOU
we're in South America! Really. How
oyelyl John, hadn't we better take
another table so that your friendly
conference may not be interrupted"
| FASTENED to assure Clara J. that
ii wasn't a conference at all We hao
met Mr. Schwartz quite by accident
Then l introduced Likely to the ladies
He got up and did something thai
was supposed to be a bow. but yor
couldn't tell whether he was tleins
his shoe or coming down a step lad
der.
When key tried to bend a society
double he looked like one of the pic
lures no; goes with a rubber exer
ciser, prce rs cents.