davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-12-07

All that the wife can do will not
make the home an agreeable one.
Neither can a .wife be happy with a
husband who is addicted to finding
fault with his bread and butter. She
may try ever so hard to please him,
yet when he sits down to meals, she
lives in constant fear that some por-
tion of the food will not suit his fasti-
diouS taste.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-12-07

What's the use of getting into n
worry and fret over gossip that has
been set aloat to our disadvantage by
some lmeddlesome busybody who has
more time than character. These
things can't possibly iniure you, I'M
less indeed, you take notice of them
and in combating them give them
character and standing. If what is
said about you is true, set yourself
right at once; if it is false, let it go
for what it will fetch. If bee stings
you, would you go to the hive and de-
stroy it? Would not a thousand come
upon you? 1t is wisdom to say little
respecting the injuries you have re-
ceived.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-12-07
And Striped Like Tigers.

ards are common In China. but we
have stranger species over here. Pol
lticians that are spotted like the mis-
chief are common In this country
Philadelphia Inquirer
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-12-07
HOME CIRCLE COLUMN.

To the young man who has no taste
for reading, the evening hours become
loaded with temptation. II is tiresome
to sit moping by the stove, and he nat
urally drifts to the street or the card
table. There he finds others like him
self, with vacant hours to while away
and thus grow up those habits and as
sociations which soon eventuate in dis
sipation or lead to crime.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-12-07

The making of money and saving of
money, as distinguished from the mis-
erly love of money which is said to be
the root of all evil, should be the aim
of all young men who start out in life
for themselves. They include habits
of industry that lead to contentment
and often ward off dissipation, want
and future misery. 1t was not the
gathering in of wealth that has sent so
many leading men to prison, it was the
unlawful manner in which they en-
deavored to reap their harvest,
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-12-07

If brothers or sisters err, the world
says 'shun them; thus you will show
that you disapprove of the act, making
an example of them" Alas, how
many examples we have of this mode
of teaching crowding the haunts of in
fanny today. Once bright young lives,
over whose pure lips and innocent
brows mothers watched in all tender
ness; but the trembling feet took one
false step, and so we thrust them out
OF our hearts, out of our churches, and
would even thrust them out of heav-
en-. Is it right, is it just, is it Christ
like?
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-12-07
FREE BOOK

500 Page Book free. on the Treatment
and Care of Horses, Cattle, Sheep, Dogs,
Hogs and Poultry, also Stable Chart to
hang up, mailed free.
For Every Living Thing on the Farm
Humphreys Veterinary Specifies.
A. A. For FEvERs. MIX Fever, Lung Fever.
Il. D. For sPRAINs. Lameners. rheumatism.
e.. G. For SORE Throat. Epizootlc. Distemper.
d. d. For WORMS, Bots. Grubs.
T.. Il. For COUGHS. Colds. Influenza.
r. r. For collie. Beiiyache. Diarshea.
q. g. Prevents MISCARRIAGE.
II. II. For KIDNEY and BLADDER disorders.
4. /. For SKIN DISEASES. Mango. Erup,ions
J. X. For BAD CONDITION. Indigestion.
At druggists or sent prepaid on receipt
OF price. GO cts. each.
HUMPHREYS HoMEo. MEDICINE CO., Corner
William and Ann Streets. New York.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
TALKS ON TEETH
By The REGAL DENTISTS
HIGH-CLASS DENTISTRY AT
REASONABLE PRICES

our remarkable success IN 70
sforing teeth b. Our Method Is due
TO the superior character Of the
work. which Ia beyond the capabll.
tiles Of any but the very top.notch
operators. Our specialists are
capable. careful and conscientious.
who try, as far as lies in their
power, 10 make each and every IA
tlent who leaves our office a walk
ing advertisement for US.
Another important feature Of our
system, which In greatly APP
preciated By our patients, Is the
moderate fees we charge-no
higher than the average dentists
ask for ordinary work.
by Our Method, II you have two
or more teeth In the jaws, we can
supply ali that are missing without
the use Of bridge or plates.
II you are suffering from the Ell
fccts OF poor dentistry, or have lost
all your teeth and want a fun set
OF teeth which viii be In every way
as Hervlceabie. comfortable and
good looking as natures teeth, then
come to our office for a free exam
nation Of your mouth and let as
explain the nature Of our goFk and
the exact expense
We cure pyorFhea alyeolaris,
commonly known as Riggs disease
loose teeth.
A written guarantee given with
all work.
REGAL DENTAL OFFICES,
i4o5 Third Az. NJ. w. Cor. Union.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

the truth. I'm going 10 use this
preserving kettle for fish globe.
"And what kind OF fish would you
place IN q preserving kettle. my
worthy lad r. ! says.
"Iellyfish." said the boy.
Next went 20 the roo and saw
some beavers. They were chewing
down sapllngs and called the at.
ten,ion Of the keeper 10 Il. My
good man" | says. why do those
little animals cat that wood7"
Aud the man says without batting
an eye that they we're simply doing
Il for grub stake
Then ! met a lady with a little
girl. stopped and pctted the little
lass and asked her what her name
was. She said Il was Vesuvius.
my dear madam" | says 10 the
lady. my dear madam, how do you
come 10 name this darling child
Nesuvius7"
Because" says the lady. with q
sunny smile. she Is subject 20 erup
tons
thought II was about time to &c
home. but before ! could do so
met friend OF mine who is in the
Legislature Then thought of a
law wanted put ON the statute
books to compel all owners of horse
radishes TO blanket them in cold
weather. and | said TO him, "Old
fellow. will you take care Of a bin
Tor me7"
Sure" says the legislator, what
denomination is it7"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
OBSERVATIONS

BoUTELLE, repudlated the ministry
Taft preserving peaches early that's all
BALLnoER quits be to who
special gathered about Taft
EVIDENTLY Taft and Bainger didn't think the democratic
insurgent would 10 n
BATTLE Of ria got yellow dobe
patriot hol but he
UNITED STATES sENATEs decision that he didn't buy h seat
enable Lorimer
tears--of mlarity.
navy article
stating battieships good
her snkers.
~oa..-a oo,,ra.,o, oc.,,.... H.. i, -. !.
big and defend Lucky BaHjns
resigned minister
found he had a job home.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
WALL STREET GAMBLING

people trying 10 stop gambling
BY John
gamble forecastinE
CANDLES plants crop
In his stock"
So does when he gets married for office
nd he IS
know he a lottery
nd ssn things nd
especially
selling" {
the manufacturer something Marriage fishing Of
flee huntngthres mixed with good deal Of grief
gambling Ii productive
a
fell federal build
steps
badly tender thing like Phi drummer has
Indiana that hasn't speed limit
GOO
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
GEOGRAPHY OF POLITICS

shy and beaten aganhats the end Of Borahs sal
submit
tae election BY direct Of the people
cuTously political
light the battlefield OF 1919
Industrial the Allan
Pennsylvania voted
popular election OF senators By 5 to l.
The Of the reform and the Middle.
West Southwest Northwest and Pacific b. nearly
/.
We have then. radical the Mississippi from
Canada Mexico and Ohio. the
cactionay
Northeast, which money; also
electoral
this OF presidential
results looks for whichever shall face most
squarely toward
PORTO RICO complains grab
assirion"T
getting yet they kcs-the insrssss
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
w. W. Lake and the Check He
Won't Have cashed.

SPOKANE. Wash. March s.
Uncle Sam became indebted 10
Private Warner w Lake Ia 1864
for 81 80 as bounty for becoming a
soldier ia the Union ranks. and "a
cents for clothing allowance On
NOV ~, 1910. Uncle Sam paid these
debts 70 Lake
The veteran IL now nearly 80
years OF age lie bad always kept
a record 81 the money due him, and
finally decided. just for the fun Of
Il. that he would see II be could
collect 30 he wrote TO Washing
ton aud after dusty records had
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
WHAT MAKES A WOMAN BEAUTIFUL?
WE ASK YOUR PERSONAL OPINION

A
houdo the rather which beauty
{ htefay
For months the lady lay flat her back the floor
mooue with her her sides during several hours
/ During the
the period Of time she oHa high stool
this said TO have acquired
q a sylphs
corrected and made
OF bandaRe
nos being larger than the other she small spoage ia
1t Tor
months compressed against the sides OF
ohes
elongated shape which has been successfully
iasng suffered this complicated mardom year poor
satisfied tssuiclently beautiful
n
commonplace : thousands Of daily
themselves beauty.
4 IS worthy purpose, TO be SURE
Rnt-after ALI
Is beauty
anything In this
world beautiful than beautiful all cheerful
BUT WHAT MAKES A WOMAN BEAUTFULf
opinion opinion better perhaps
than other mans although think know better than ans
what makes beautiful
would Ike readers the sub
Write down briefly We would like to print
first class opinions by readers and readers
On
what a beauIfuIf"
TAFT asuhns whte~ash onto Balnaer.
remember stenosrapher who
by sainser Thersupon
goods Taft ana admitted the truth
dene ed lis
Insignificant ike wouldn't
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
srRlcr colo.

"You mustn't touch the bali Use
a stick
iIuw am | going 70 get u out
OF a mudhotc with a stickf Caddy,
go 20 the clubhouse and borrow a
pair OF tongA Pittsburg p0at
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
qnhtimAtQe5 ~
Correspondence.

the United States and Canada,
when any adjusting needs to be
done, and Messrs. Tawney and
Carter are to do the adjusting.
Mr. Taft has the thing nicely ar
ranged, and one Of the incidents
Is the fact that the commission
fixes It's own salary and determines
the amount and the salaries of its
own help.e Now could anything
nicer be prepared for lame ducks ?
Clifford Pinchot Is preparing to
make speech at an early date on
the presidential nomination Of
1912 Everybody Is given three
guesses as to who will be Pinchot's
candidate.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
lie LoNo; ART FLEerlNe.

The Critic NY dear. just fancy
having your portrait painted in
your car Why. a motor ear goes
out 81 fashion ia single year ~
London Punch.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

4 The boasted silver lining 4
4 Makes very small display I
4 Unless you start a hustle 4
\ And push the clouds away. 4
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

What joy in being just an or
binary roughneck like us. No rules
Of etiquct. no fashionable func.
tons TO attend. no polite lies 10
tell. no high collars 10 wear. Just
have 70 be decent. that's all.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

lin Mcyeagh duly acknowledged
the matter and signed check for
ff.B4 And Veteran Lake II 80
proud OF that check that be refuses
10 have II cashed.
Bicycle repairing A. l.. Hall 80
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

II ail the progeny survived.
the descendants OF one pair %
rats la five years would number
st0 $50 s6s .ts2.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

Washington. d. G.. March 4, 1910.
Senator Borah will bring up his
resolution In favor OF election Of
genators by the people. as soon as
the extra session of the senate
comes together The Borah reso-
luton was killed by four votes.
There Is a net gain In the new sen.
ate Of eight progressive members.
Thus, when the roll Is called again
there will have 10 be lively scram.
bic II the resolution IL again to be
defeated.
! note that there Is no reply as
yet 10 the open letter addressed
b. Senator LaFollette to President
Taft asking him when he expects
To pass upon the fraudulent Gun
ningham coal claims.
Two nice places have been pre-
pared for those valued and honor.
able lame ducks, James A. Tawn.
ey and Tom Carter There Il to be
p- ssks ----<< a
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

"Was his drama modern and real.
istic2"
NO" answered Mrs. Midwest.
The second act takes place six
months after the first and the
heroine still has the same
husband. Life.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

A subject on which the silence Ia
profound Is that embraced in Sena.
tor Bourne's speech In which he
charged President Taft with using
patronage to secure his renomina.
ton to the presidency. We pause
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

Holland is a tiny country. but
she produces i43,000.000 pounds Of
butter and l76.000,000 pounds OF
cheese year,
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

Pietry and dollars Who dared
mention poetry and dollars IN the
same BREATH
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
DEMONSTRATING.

Street Yender-'Ere y'are. gents:
now's yer ehawnce-the grite per
nouncin' dieshunry. London
Punch.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
70 A int.
WHAT HE WANTED

Now this car said the agent.
calling Billups attention to hand.
some limousine in the corner. is a
dandy. 1t runs so smoothly you
wouldn't know you were In 1t. Rides
Just like a rocking chair"
What do you think | am. an es-
capped inmate OF an old ladies'
homer" demanded Biilups. Il
want car that I'll know I'm In
when I'm in IL, and when | go out
looking for rocking chair I'll so
to furniture store and not to a
garage. '~-Harper'a Weekly.
THE SuREST PLACE.
Speaker warming TO his sub
ject) What we want Is men with
convictions, and where shall we
find themf
voIce--In Jail. auv.nor!-Penny
illustrated Paper.
We Wonder why II Is that Il IL
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

John W Gates. mulglmiliionalFe
got bis start manufacturing barhed
wire
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

Star Dust

\ Why shouldn't a girl be 4
\ happy. =
} And merry aud gay. At that, 4
\ When all she has upon her =
\ mind
. Ii marcel wave and ratf A
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
ANAcHRoNIsTIc.

The estimated population of Lon
don IL 1916
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

Conductor to passenger. We ran
over a cat down the line.
Passenger Was the cat ON the
line
Conductor Why. Of course
not. We chased up an alley after
her.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

When In doubt, give n shout,
change your mind and face about.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

when al q chatlng dish party
everything burns in the chatting
dish. SO to a regular restaurant.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
JOSH WISE
SAYS:

"Th' o cleys
port Weekly Quill
office has a sheet
iron stove that is
more rieke,y thar
tn We era b | c
Washin'ton hand
press-an' gives
out jus; about "a
much heat"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

TOOK walk the other DAY ana
ran across so many funny things |
nearly died Of laughing. The reason
| refused to die Of laughing Is that
there's a laughing clause In my
life insurance policy II you laugh
yourself to death before the policy
is in force one year the company
gets the premiums and all your
widow gets Is the laugh
met a boy going along with a
preserving kettle. Boy" says,
what are you going 10 do with that
preserving kettleR"
Mister" he says, "Tll tell yoi
ARE YOU WELL iNFoRMED7
What was George Eliots' real
name?
The prepondersnce Of Evidence.
sorry" said the constable. but
Ill have TO arrest ye--you been
drivin' along at the rate of so miles
an hour"
You are wrong. my friend" said
the driver. II say | wasn't, and
here's n ten'dollar bin that says
wasn't"
can right" returned the consta-
bic. pockcting the money. with
eleven TO one against me | amt
goin' to subject the county to tn
expense OF trial" - Harper's
Weekly.
Mrs. Elizabeth B. Grannis,
at one OF the dinners following
the conservation congress In
st. Paul, said OF marriages: at
is true that some girls, may
ryinq men to reform them,
succeed. Some girls, too, fail.
The hostess at a tea once said
to a beautiful, ssd-eyed woman:
Are you fond OF sports, Mrs.
BIankr Mrs. Blank smiled.
Her sad eyes twinkled
moment. Then she sighed and
answered: We'll, suppose !
ought to be. | married one"
Aroonaut.
What criminal hadn't rather be
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

The Lake Of Nejpa In kicagsgua
contains a strong solution OF BIZ
carbonate Of potash, blcarbonate OF
soda, and sulphate OF magnesis. II
10 veritable soap lake. Its water
rubbed or a greasy object forms a
lather.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
sDEATIif

There vas revolution that
huzxed like tarnation. II spurted
here and there making music In
the air. TIL finally big business
smeiled rat and the revolution
died qulcker'n scat.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

Are nlrtIng gIrIa fooIlah gIrla'
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

II being useful Is the rent We
should pas for the room we occupy
on this earth. some OF us are ter.
ribly IN debt
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

The modern arch Of triumph Is a
woman's No. 2 foot encased In a
dainty velvet shoe.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
TINE ON MAN

4 guess nay father must have
been = pretty bad boy. said Kid
Smithers.
"Whys' inquired Kid Jones
Cause he knows Just what anea.
tions 60 ask when be wants %
know what I've been doing.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

More than one.third OF the peo-
pie OF Australia live In four cities
i1ssds@v A1@issaA Maltsnurua and
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

Raising babies costs money but
no baby ever cost half as much
as he IL worth
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08
SOME MEN.

SOME MEN.
The devil in hades laughs. they
say. " man tears loose when his
~lfe's away. Satan oils the ways
Of the downward track and keeps
them CREASED TIL the wife gets back
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

The deacon'H wife wanted
your"
play church." solemn answer he
good woman nnatercd che forgot all The
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

Asbestos WAS first used by the
ancient Romans. who made croma.
ti0n robes from H.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

What criminal hadn't rather be
.risa NV the United States senate
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

nld you know that when youn
meeFachaum pipe was first mined
Il was so soft that Il made good
soapf
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

a
= Why shouldn't girl be
happy.
And merry aud gas. At that. a
q When all she has upon her
mind.
Is a marcel wave and ratf 4
...* s**%~s
Pletry and dollars Who dared
mention poetry and dollars In the
same BREATH
Are flirting girls foolish girls7
Raising babies costs money but
no baby ever cost half as much
as he Ia worth
Asbestos was first used by the
ancient Romans. who made croma.
tion robes from Il,
bid you know that when your
mceFachaum pipe was first mined
IL was so soft that Il made good
soapf
The az. the pen. the shovel are
best Welded by men with good al.
gcstiun. aud good digestion doesn't
abide with fast living
Let's see. he told In one minute
takes 30 years 90 oyertake. doesn't
itg
THE OLD MAN.
Il guess nay father must have
been pretty bad boy, said Kid
smlthers.
"Why9~ inquired Kid Jones.
Cause he knows Just what Qnes
tious 60 ask when be wants 10
know What I've been doing
STRICT GOLF.
you mustn't touch the ball Use
stick
How am going 70 get Il out
OF a mudholc with a stiekf Caddy.
go 20 the clubhouse aud borrow a
pair Of tongA =" Pitisburg Post
LIFE LONG; ART FLEETiac.
The Critic Ny dear. just fancy
having your portrait painted in
your car Why. q motor car goes
out ~ fashion ia single year
London Punch.
No Race Suicide.
If al the progeny survived.
the descendants OF one pair ~
rats la five years would number
st0 $50 s6s .is2
John W Gates. mulglmillionalfe
GOT his start manufacturing barbed
wire
FooliahneNa.
Conductor to passenger We ran
over a cat down the line.
Passenger. Was the cat on the
line
Conductor. Why. Of course
not. We chased up an alley after
her.
when al a chatting dish party
everything burns in the chatting
dish. so to regular restaurant
SDEATHt
There vas revolution that
huzxed like tarnation. II spurted
here and there making music In
the air. TIL finally big business
ameiled 4 rat and the revolution
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

The az. the pen. the shovel are
best Welded by men with good d.
geatiun. aud good digestion doesn
abide with fast living.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-03-08

Let's see. a lie told In one minute
takes 90 years 60 oyertake. doesn't
.lte
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-11-26
LOVE MADLYB BUT
CANNOT MARRY
SUCH IS THE CASE OF CARL BUR.
RAN AND HIS BEAUTIFUL
sEcRTARY-Hls WIFE OBJECTS.
Special to The Jour--'

New York, Nov. 25.-The " proper
directors of the Metropolitan Opera
House have been deeply perturbed by
the interviews given to the news
papers by Carl Burrian, the Bohemian
tenor. prof sstng his love for Emily
Letter pinges. a beautiful young grass
widow who recently arrived here from
the other side with the singer. AS
result of his indiscreet chaff, there is
talk among the directors. who say they
are much shocked by the situation of
distributing Burrian. For love of the
woman, Burrian voluntarily gave up
mis- position at the Royal Opera House
at Dresden, which carried with it GER
tain court honors and fed to Bohemia
with her pursued by her husband and
the police who vainly sought to in
tercept them at the international
boundary line. In his hurried exit
the tenor who was called the idol of
Dresden" left behind him a wife and
family of his own. She has refused
to divorce him, so that he may marry
his soul mate and he is now paying
her $4,000 a year alimony. On his ar
rival here to fill an engagement at the
Metropolitan, the ship news reporters
who boarded his ship at Quarantine,
bombarded the singer with questions
concerning himself and the younk
woman.
Had they been married? Did they
intend to wed? Both questions came to
the front as logical queries. "Married?"
asked the tenor, repeating the ques-
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-11-26

tons. NO we are not married. We
will not be married. She Is my beau
tfful secretary and always travels with
me. 1t is her beauty that is so great
She cannot sing at all, but her bea uty
makes up for everything she may lack.
We are companions in love. Madly.
blindly, passionately, l love my secre-
tary. She loves me-but we are not
to be married. l have a son ten years
of age and have been married twice.
Mrs Dinges is going to travel with me
forever"
The singer and his beautiful secre-
tary went to the Hotel Navarro where
they took suite on the seventh door.
When an effort was made to talk with
Frau Dinges after the first chat with
the tenor. she replied over the hotel
telephone:
II no splick English" "sphrechen
sic Deutsche?" asked the reported.
"a, ia, ia, ia !" replied Frau Dinges.
Whereupon the interviewer explained,
III his best rathskeller German. that
he would fain hold speech with her,
and she replied in pretty eccent:
Herr Burrian is by the rehearsal gone.
Maybe when he returns to the hotel