The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1911-07-19

bring 81 for that purpose. bat not a
cent more. Did you think Mr.. Bowser
here was running a soap factory"
woman. ! want none of your inter
%ference!' exclaimed Samuel as he
strutted around.
Looked Like . squealer.
"Oh, I'm not interfering. I'm just
telling you that. firstly. we are not in
the pigpen business. and. secondly. il
we were we'd be looking for some
thing different from the razorback
breed. 1t would take a hundred
pounds Of corn to put an ounce of fat
on him. and I'll warrant him to squeal
twenty hours out of the twenty-four."
But he asked me to bring him in a
pig" contended the farmer.
"Oh, Of course. and Ill ask you to
take him back home again. We buy
our pork and bacon over on the o r
ner."
II say I want a pig here!" from M.
Bowser.
"You simply think you do. Samuel,
but now that your mother-in-law is
here things are going to be different.
l think you'n have to get along with a
Teddy bear"
The farmer looked from me to my
son-in-law for a long minute and then
exclaimed. by thunder!" and drove
of. He may have been a married
man and had a living m~other-in-law,
but If so she is a weak and wishy-
washy m He was hardly out Of
sight when another farmer came driv-
ing down the alley. Mr.. Bowser SEEM
ed on the point Of Offering me $40 to
60 into the house, but before he could
do it the wagon halted before us and
| the man called out:
"Well here's your dozen Leghorn
chickens. Pm going to let you have
'em at a dollar apiece"
Chicken Man lnsuIted.
"Couldn't-couldn't you come back
in about an hour from nnw?" asked
Mr.. Bowser, who thought l might be
dead by that time.
mo time like the present." l said.
$50 those are Leghorn chickens. eh?"
"And the best Of layers. ma'am."
Are you a negro or a white many'
"By George, but she's insulting the
man to his facet" almost howled my
dear son-in-law.
"What do you mean, ma'amy"
"You are just as much of a negro as
those are Leghorn chickens. You are
talking to a woman who has kept
chickens for forty years. They are
scrubs. They are old enough to die of
old age. Let one of them lay an egg
and she would collapse. Ny son-in-law
here thought he would have a dozen
chickens around to make the place
seem homelike, but he has changed his
mind. He's got me, you see."
Eyes, l see." replied the man, with a
grin.
"And so you may drive on after the
man with the cow and the man with
the pig"
Bowser Put to Sleep.
he went. That man, whoever he is,
has a mother-in-law and knows what's
what. Mr.. Bowser grew red and white
and other colors and kicked the fence
in his rage, but l was ~serene-very Sc
rene. No mother-in-law can make a
success Of it without being serene.
Samuel followed me into the house
to tell his wife that he was going to
rip up carpets and start in to clean
house. but I gave him one look and he
wilted.
Then he announced that he was 60
ing to paint the front steps. We had
quite a little argument over it, and he
raised his voice several notches, but he
did no painting. Then he said he
would 60 off to a saloon and get drunk
and let everybody know that my com
ing had driven him to despair, but by
8 o'clock l had him tucked up on the
lounge and sleeping like a baby. Once
in awhile in his dreams he heaved a
heartfelt sigh, but l am a woman and
pay no attention to triles when man
aging a son-in-law.
LUCINDA BENSON,