davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-11-01
IS the Club Price. The
Pianos are zvorth ,S3Z5
These twenty-three short
sentences tell the whole
FREDERICK PIANO CLUB
story

story
(l) Tho third Frederick Piano Club VIII
consist Of 1000 members. I2) There will 20
7so members to take straight pianoa ts1
There will be $50 members to take player
pianos t4)s The pianos and player -pisnos are
alike in grade and quality. t6) The regular
selling price Of the straight piano 10 376 dol
lars-average. tS) Thousands Of such pianos
are sold at 400 dollars few here and there
as low as $50 dollars. It is. therefore. fair to
say that the average price and value of the
straight piano IL 375 dollars. G) The regular
price and value OF the player-piano 10 $50
dollars We know of many places in the
United States where they are sold for 600 and
$50 dollars-where interest is not charged.
They are certainly splendid values at $50 dol
lars. with interest on unpaid balances. ()
dollars--the Club member saving 81 dollars
at the very outset (s) The Club price for
the player-piano is 4A dollars. The Club
member therefore saves 10s dollars at the
on joining the Clubs dollars il he elects to
take the piano-12 dollars IL he elects to take
credited to the price Of the Instrument he So 81
cures. Cl2l The balance he pays dollar snd
DC dollars Ss month IL he takes the S pIayeS.pissS.
(1O He pays no extra interest or exHAa
Of .Ss PssSrs n'
guarantee can be written which IL more biu&<
member within 80 days of the time they jolI-
Cs) Privilege is given each member Tin writ
,ns amy tims Within one sesr for any otnsn
strumsnt we sell. Of equal or greater valgeI
takes the piano is 1872 weeks-or sM -ysssTE
(1S) To those who take the player plano thG
is cas Tub Gs@ssss Glnn Is IS Sho ssst TO-
piano will be paid cash diyidends at the rssa
% ssS the s a
(20) Club members who elect to take the
player-piano will be paid cash dividends At
each and every months time they reduce the
life of their agreement. t21 should Club
member die during the life of the Club, q re-
ceipt In full for remaining unpaid dues is
handed TO his family. f22l Stool. scarf, and
free delivery are included with the piano.
(2s) Stool, scarf, player -Diapo bench. and ~
rolls of music fClub members own selection)
are included with the player-piano,
The Washington times., 1911-11-01
Twins Under Flag.

NEW YORK. Nov. /. - Mrs. Otto
Schlessinger. expecting visit from the
stork and, wanting the visit made under
the German flag. was rewarded with
twips after she boarded the German
steamer Prfnz Joachim. n,
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
.CASCARETS CURE A
BILIOUS HEADACHE
Gently but Thoroughly Cleanse Your
Liver Stomach and Bowels and
You Feel Great by Morning.

You're bilious. you have a throb-
bing sensation in your head, bad
taste in your mouth. your eyes burn,
your skin Is yellow, with dark rings
under your eyes; your lips are
parohed No wonder you feel ugly.
mean and i'll tempered. Your sys-
TEN is full of bile not properly
passed off. aud what you need is a
cleaning up inside. Don't continue
being a bilious nuisance to yourself
and those who love you and don't
resort 10 harsh physics that irritate
and injure, Remember that every
disorder Of the stomach, liver and in.
testines can be quickly cured by
morning with gentle, thorough Cas-
carets--they work while you sleep
A Decent box from your druggist
will keep you and the entire family
feeling good for months Children
have to take Cascarets, because they
taste good and never grippe or sicken
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
A Rossini Joke.

One of Roesinls jokes. Rossini
promised place Ia he opera orches.
ira 10 tromhonist ana then forgot it,
says the Musical Courier At one OF
his dinner parties the butler announced
the visit oil this same protege Ros.
slni fastened 10 welcome him, and re.
lieving him of his instrument disap.
peared few minutes to return with
his friends. Handing the instrument ia
the irombonist with request to let
the company hear him, Rossini pre-,
pared to listen. Trombone to hps the
musician blows--dismay sound:
cheeks bulging, eyes distended In
vain the unhappy man makes super.
human efforts TO produce harmonious
sounds. At last! q effort supreme,
With a sound like a hoarse goose
cackle there shoots from the from,
bone a mass Of sticky macaroni. mo
harm, my friend said Rossini. you
nave proved yourself a strong must.
cian,' And the next day the coveted
position was offered to the from.
bonist.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
HAVE GOOD IDEA OF DRESS
Many Men Possess the Artistic Eye
When It Comes to Matter Of Fem
mine Drapery.

There is an old tradition to the ef-
feet that men lack discretion as well
as artistic ere in the selection OF a
becomngly gowned woman A man
VIGOROUSLY at sea in the matter Of
feminine irocks was asked to design
what TO his mind was a graceful dress
for the Identification of the woman
iy figure. The result not only vindi.
Gated men of the charge OF ignorance
voneerning tho becoming feminine
dr"pery, but established for him a
wisdom and artistry IN designing that
many devotees OF the latest sartorial
spasm, lie it modestly pretty or dar,
ingly ridiculous, will do we'll to cu!.
tiyate.
The fabric of the gown evolved by
the mere man was soft clinging
crepe de chine of shadowy blue tone
1t was cut in hnono fashion, with
loose-hanging Oriental sleeves. The
neck was slightly rounded out to show
the smooth, white column of the
throat and the gown hung free from
the shoulders, falling in long. sweep
Ing lines, With just suspicion of
a sweep at the back In front an elon-
gated buckle Of the blue material, en-
bfrdered with dull gold threads, held
a wide girdle. which was wound
around the waist empire fashion, tied
in an odd knot, with short outstanding
loops in the back, from whence long.
loose ends, fnished,with gold and blue,
fell to the bottom of the skirt The
sash gave slightly empire effect, and
the whole gown appeared to. swathe
the figure in folds OF pastel blue. Such
a gown must in the very nature of it.
self, conceal any offending angular
lines. just as ii would of necessity
heighten the symmetry Of the softly
curving ones. Grace Of carriage and
elegance of attire were its indubitabIe
followers, so much so that one won.
ders why the distress and fatigue Of
countless hours at the dressmaker's
are endured, when art Is so very sim
pie.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
FOR CONSTIPATION.
A Medicine That Does Not Cost Any.
thing Unless II Satisfies.

The active medicinal ingredients
OF Rexall OrderIles, which is odor-
less. tasteless and colorless, is an en-
tireIy new discovery Combined
with other extremely valuable in
gradients, it forms a perfect bowel
regulator. intestinal invigorator and
strengthener Rexall 0rderlies are
eaten like candy. and are notable for
their agreeableness to the palate and
gentleness of action. They do not
cause gripping or any disagreeable
effect or Inconvenience.
Unlike other preparations for a
like purpose, they do not create q
habit, but instead hey overcome
the cause OF habit acquired through
! the use OF ordinary laxatiyes
cathartics and harsh physic and
permanently remove the cause Of
constipation or irregular bowel ae'
/ ton
/ We will refund your money WITH
out argument If they do not do at
we say they will. Three sizes, soc
25c and Toe. Sold only at oul
store The RexaIl store. Paul q
Schulz Sons.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
THEIR APPETITES WITH THEM
Strong Drink Per Capita
Is French Record.

Frenchmen are pretty able trencher-
men. but the following account of a
meal made by eight Norman peasants
surpasses expectations. According to
the Medical Journal, a grazier with
seven of his friends undertook an ex-
petition to gather fagots.
Among them they should have man
aged some 400 fagots, but 81 repre-
scented the sum of their work, the
small total being accounted for, pos.
sibiy by tho luncheon which the octet
devoured. They managed to consume
20 pounds Of meat. s quarts OF pure
perry 16 bottles of assorted wines. Q
bottles OF champagne and s quarts Of
cider brandy OF an alcoholic strength
of 65 per cent roast goose, placed
thoughtfully among the rations, was
not required.
This luncheon represents an aver
age of ~ pounds of meat and 10
quarts OF milk, none Of II weak. per
capita during the 70 hours occupied
by the expedition.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
GEM OFFERS PROGRAM OF
GOOD VAUDEVILLE ACTS

Large crowds fiocked to the Gem
theater last night to witness the new
bill. This popular vaudeville house
continues to please. The enter
tainment offered for dime here is
said to be equal to that offered any
where.
The bill now running is made NJ
of an act by o. G. Ruff, styled the
"grotesque comedian" and singing
and talking skit by HollabeauX ant
JACKSON. These three artists have
been given an ovation.
Up-to-date moving pictures give
the entertainment variety. and some
excellent first run films are shown
including Lubin. Pathe, Biograph
Vitagraph, etc.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Infant Buried at Paducah.

The funeral of Elizabeth Adelino,
tie sly-months old daughter of Mr..
and Mrs Harold Spalding, who died
Sunday morning, was held at the
residence, Twenty-third and Wash
ingtcn avenue at o'clock. Saturday
afternoon. Rev. Allen Terrell, pas
tor of the Baptist church at Mound
City. officiated The body was taken
to the home of Mr.. Spalding's sister,
Mrs. Cora Hooper, Paducah. Satur-
day evening, and was laid to rest
Sunday afternoon.
Mrs. Daisy Walker and J. J. Kuy-
kendally, of Cairo; DR.. and Mrs. Hall
Whiteakere. Mrs. A. l.. Compton,
and William Montgomery, of Mound
City, accompanied the parents to
Padueah.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

ent only they have brown eyes,

ent only. they'will have brown eyes,
but the condition is said 10 be sim.
pick. TWO parents lacking brown in
the iris (blue eyed will never have
children with brown eyes, hut only
with blue eyes. II both parents have
brown eyes simplex, then one In four
of the, children will have blue eyes. If
one parent has simplex brown eyes
and the other has blue eyes one-half
OF the children wiz have blue eyes.
But II IN both OF either one OF the
parents the blue iris fermentation Is
duplex, all Of the offspring will have
brown eyes.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Dies at Mound City.

Lee Braxton, the eleven-months-
old son of Mr. and Mrs. n. l..
Thomas, of Oscar. KY, died N 3
o'clock. Sunday afternoon at the
home of his grandparents. Mr.. and
Mrs. G. B. Ryle. at Mound City He
was i'll three weeks Funeral ser
vices will be conducted by Rev. A
Terrell. pastor of tho Baptist church
at the residence, at II O'Clock Mon
day morning, Burial will take place
at Oscar, KY, Monday afternoon al
1880 O'Clock.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Expert repairing, coats refined,
by an expert tailor. The Elks' Clean
ing and Dyeing Co.
Entertains at Dinner.

Mr.. and Mrs Jacob Klein of TWEEN
ty-forth and Sycamore streets en-
tertaiued at dinner yesterday. Mr..
and Mrs. John Fletcher of Mounds,
r. b Endicott of villa Ridge and
Albert Gunther. of Hermann, Mo.
Mr.. Gunther il the guest of his son,
Herman Gunther. of Eighth street.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Value Of knowledge.

officer Cat distance Judging prac-
tice) We'll have you learned anything
new today?
Private Yes, sir; II you take the bolt
out of the barrel and man Just Ats
inside. he's 800 yards away.
Officer And what Is there remark
able about that?
Private latter consideration 49,
NothIn, cept that didn't know II be-
fore.--Punch.
"tie mas Jusc uvnsteu a nimvn ~
charity."
Without fanfare?" Il.
strange man." h p,gs,a n
without fanfare" TT1
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
PERSONAL.

,. No. 80 mattoon ri il
49, III n,,sinees
aiiss - 4Ai.i'oH' = = ''''@'
n 'a'iV ~ ~ ~
arrived mere yesterday "a q ousii'esf
Trip
-
CO. Is the guest Of relatives in Pa
ducah-
from 4 visit to his former home in
paducab.
Chamber are the guests Of friends in
Paducah.
formerly Of Cairo, is in the city on
business.
here Yesterday morning, the guest Of
r. ]. Stuart.
Mr. and Mrs. George Mardef, OF
Hopkinsville. Ky. arrived yesterday
to visit friends
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Bury Infant Snn

Mr.. and Mrs. VIM NJ Robinson, OF
721 Thirty-sixth street. returned
yesterday from Carbonate. where
they held the funeral of their infant
son, Ralph It's little twin sister
Ruth, was under the care of the doe.
tor all the time they we're gone ant
was very sick at one time.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
CoIor Of Tho Eve

Brown eyes are due TO brown pig
ment laid down in the iris; blue, eyes
are due to lack Of such pigment,
When both parents are brown-eyed
the children get the tendency to form
iris pigment from both sides OF the
house, and the condition OF the pig
ment is said to be duplex. II the chill.
dren get the tendency from one par
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

Robert Pittsworth. a negro about
80 years of age. was found dead 4,
bed yesterday morning at his room,
3soS Commercial avenue. Coroner
McManus held an inquest over the
remains and the Jury rendered a
verdict cf death by natural causes
The remains were buried by NJ. e
l'eith al the expense Of the county
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Chief Lind Returns.

Fire Chief Peter Lind returned
Saturday from Milwaukee where he
has been attending the National
Convention OF Fire Chiefs. There
were over 1000 fire chiefs in at
tendance. Those who attended the
meetings were well repaid for their
time in the exchange of experience
in fire lighting.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Something TO Eat Free

There will be something doing in
the pork and beans line today when
the coupons which have been cut
from the 'ad" OF the yours truly
brand Of canned goods are presented
TO the grocers handling this excel
lent article. A ten-cent can will be
delivered free to every person pre-
senting coupon.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

please phone to Puss for me. Tell
her that didn't get the lace because
lost the sample. and that i am glad
of 1t. Tell her that didn't have any
downtown shopping of my own this
afternoon. Tell her that II she had
a molecule OF sense she wouldn't
want to infiict herself on innocent
people in such hot weather. Tell her
that II Bob breaks our engagement II
will be on her conscience. and that
hate her anyway.
"The truth. the whole truth and
nothing but the truth for me. car
see already that I'm going to be un
popular"
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Goes To Florida Home.

c. Pink, who recently returned
from four months vacation spent
in England, his native country.
will leave in few days for his win
ter home at Orlando, Florida. He
will not return to Cairo until in the
Springs.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
A Great Advantage to Working Men.

j. A. Maple, 125 5. TN ~. S'euo-
enyille, o., says For years J SUITE =
ed from weak kidneys and a severe
bladder trouble. learned OF Foley
Kidney Pills and their wonderful
cures so | began taking them and
cure enough had as good results as
any heard about. My backache left
me and to one OF my business, ex-
pressman, that alone Is a great ad-
vantage NY kidneys acted free and
normal, and that saved me lot OF
misery It is now a pleasure to work
whore 1t used to be a misery. Foley
Kidney Pills have cured me and have
my highest praise"
For sale by all druggists.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
$50 REWARD

will pay reward of $50 cash
for information leading to the arrest
and conviction of the person or per-
sons who stole my bay mare and
runabout. The rig was taken about
S:15 O'Clock Sunday night from in
front Of my office in Seventh street
FLINT BONDuRANT, NJ. ID.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Apartment Plans Almost Ready.

The plans are almost finished for
the new four story apartment build
ing to be erected by Christian Beck
adjoining the new Elks' club build
ing now being erected at the corner
Of Washington avenue and Ninth
street. Architect Kusener is work
ing on the plans. 1t is expected
that bids will be asked for the con
struction of this building within
two weeks
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Father Gillen Returns.

Father James Gillen. pastor of St.
Joseph's church, arrived Saturday
night from his European trip oil
three months. He conducted serv-
ices yesterday at church, and is we'll
prepared to interest his congregation
In accounts OF the old countries.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

Mrs, Charles Perry remains SER
iously Ill at the home of her daugh-
ter, Mrs. r. A. Julian, 1913 Wash
ington avenue She has been in a
serious condition during the past
three weeks
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

October IS, will be removed to the
new Halliday Estate building, when
it is expected the new goods ordered
by Mr. Gunther will have arrived.
L. Berkowitz will remain for several
weeks to assist the sale
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
On Not Telling !
the Truth

Never again as long as livei will
emphatically. throwing herself In a
heap on the couch. NOD even the
whitest of white lies. THAT'S posi-
tive"
And the reason for this beautiful
resolution" inquired her married sis
Ter in whose house Marjosy had taxi
en- refuge.
ITS not from any moran scruples
that have registered this VOW"
sighed Mariory, reveling III the wick
cdncss Of her confession. "but simply
because | have come tofthe conclu-
sion that lies don't pay"
TELL me what happered when yo,t
forsook the TRUTH" said kthe interest
ed sister.
This morning the thermometer
reed 101 degrees in the shade, and
there wasn't any shade related Mar
jory. 81 had just ren rned home
from a strenuous house iparty at Dor
othy's bungalow, much tile worse for
wear Simply exhausted and hating
everybody, | flung the, contents OF
my suitcase into their respective
places, jumped into my kmono. pull
ed down the shades. locked my doSr.
threw myself on the bed( and sighed
sigh of contentment.
Then the telephone rang. SIch a
long. vicious ring. too As | went
out into the hall to answer II / said
to myself If that is Hing George.
and If he asks me to go riding in an
aeroplane with him. shall refuse
wouldn't accept an Invitation even
from Bob himself, today
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
| CITY NEWS IN BRIEF


Willie Foss. year old. died ear
ly yesterday morning at the home of
Viola J Foss, 41s Seventeenth street
II was an orphan child.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Opened Store Again

The dry goods stock recently pur
chased from L. Berkowitz by the
Gunfhcr Dry Goods Company, will
be placed on sale beginning today at
cut prices, All goods not sold by
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

Mrs. Rudele Estes and daughter,
Joel. and Mr. Phillips spent Sunday
afternoon at Miss Harriet Hawley at
Mound City.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
Weight of the blood

There are 2S pounds o; blood IN II
body Of an average grownup rere
and at each pulsation the heart m0t
ten pounds.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

ne usual cause q Rheumatism II an cess Of uric acid in the
blood which week.-mrs. and acdcs ills Fcud prevents the
proper amount of nousen being afforded the muscles nerves and
tendons The pains and aches q Rheuasm may be temporarily
relieved by the OF nen hot applications and other external
treatments but the disease cannot be permanently benefited such
measures and bound 10 become chronic dangerous such
things depended upon alone SS cures Rheumatism in the
only way poSsse to the disease goes the
blood and removes the uric acid from The circulation tina. the
boneS and joints all fabricated and with nou
hhng matter instead Of being constantly raed and nfamed
the sharp acrd mpury When SIS s. ceaned and purified
the blood the Pains and aches all inflammation disappears
sfened muscles made supple and every symptom Rheumatism
away Book Rheumatism and medical advice free to all
S.S.S., is for sale drug stores.
re SWIFT SPECIFIC CO. Av.AN-A, Ga
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25
SOCIAL AND PERSONAL
a visit with friends in Ceiro.

ia visit with friends in Cairo.
i Mrs John K. Ford, OF Sill Wash
Iington avenue, continues to improv
from the effects of recent opera
ton.
| Misses 10 Long and Anna Down
ing returned last evening from Pa
dueah, after visit with friend.
! there.
! Mrs, Grant Schultz. of 315 Fourth
street, who was recently operated
/ upon at st. Mary's Infirmary, /:
gradually improving.
Jack Dansiger, of Kansas City
Mo. interested in the Schiller Bros
distillery here, is in the city for a
few days on business.
Mrs. G.. II. Bracket and Mrs. Ad-
die Eelby have returned from Padu-
cah. Ky. where they were the guests
OF the formers brother.
l.. T Parker OF the Hotel Gayoso
Of Memphis, Tenn. has returned
home after visit at the Halliday
hotelfi Of which he is manager
Mrs. Lorraine Anderson who has
been the guest of Mrs. Capitols
Hodge at the Hotel Marion, has re-
turned 10 her home in Martin,
Tenn
MIR. and Mrs. w. Vert and little
son who have been attending the
tri-county fair at Sikeston, Mo
have returned home.
George Sisney, of Harrisburg, ILL.,;
spent Saturday and Sunday in Cairo
with his family who are visiting rel
atives here for week or two. Mr..
Sisney is linotype operator at Har
risburg.
Mr.. and Mrs Roy P. Gholson, of
Denver, Colo. arrived in Cairo yes
terday for few days stay. Mr.
Gholson was at one time interested
in the Denison-Gholson Dry Goods
Company, having lived here a num-
Der of years. while his wife, form
erly Miss Weisse, OF Waterloo, Ia,
visited here frequently.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

Yes, this Is Marjorys' | told the
telephone. oh, I'm dreaGfully, dread
fully sorry. Puss, but went be home
spend the afternoon with me- What
a shame that | cant be here! am
Just going downtown this minute !
have some important shopping
That's what shamelessly' told her.
Going downtown? Puss said over
the phone, How perfectly grand,
You dear, sweet thing, L know you
will match some Irish crochet lace
for me. We have the dressmaker
here. III bring the sample right
over
Then before I could. say Peter
Pepper that awful girl had hung up
the receiveri
Mildred Morton Morse, maybe |
wasn't angry. was furious Here
was whole afternoon spoiled by
having to rush downtown In the
broiling sun to match sample OF
lace. for a girl whom ! see only about
twice year and whom ! don't care
two straws for.
LAS there was no one to open the
door for Puss and her sample. I had
to dress In perfect whirlwlnd rush
and / looked it. too When | got
downtown my hat was over one ear
my veil was over the other. my sailor
collar had worked It's front view to
the rear. my white buckskin shoes
begged for a shine. my gloves sympa-
thized with the mistreated shoes, and
my hair was done in wad on the top
Of my head In most original and un-
becoming manner. The Precipitation
rolled in rivulets of my face. | look
ed hideous. that's all. Ny one and
only fervent wish was that | might
meet no one | knew.
We'll. as I stepped off the car
ran straight into Bob. Bob's mother
Bob's father, Bob's two sisters and
Bob's grandmother. They were all
coming from their Michigan home for
some sort Of family reunion. or some
thing. Bob has been so anxious for
me to meet his family. and | wanted
to make good impression on them
because-well, Bob Is Bob, you know
There stood like scarecrow.
Bob looked at me wonderlngly az he
introduced me to his tribe. It seem
ed TO me that there were hundreds
of them Though they all said. We're
pleased to meet you, for we've heard
so much about YOU I know they
were thinking. What under the sun
can Bob see in that awful grl?'
~ said good-by as quickly as !
could and rushed away, Disguised
with Bob his family. Pnss, myself
and the whole wide world On general
Hurrying to the lace counter, | dis
covered that ! had lost the miserable
sample. so ! couldn't get the lace
Then | jumped on the cab, and here
am a wreck. come to you for any
comfort you may have In stock.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

We have dyed for others, let us
dye for you, The Elks' Cleaning
and Dyeing Co.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

Have your fall garments cleaned
by our sanitary process. The Elks'
Cleaning and Dyeing Co.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

Herbert Barr Of Nation, ILL.,, Is
here On business,
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-09-25

Mrs. Mamie Baker has returned to
her home in Charleston, Mo, after