davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison Gil

IETOm Ln0 ALcn1SOn NTlOD0.
As a rule poetry ought to be sold
by the cord.
Don't devote all your enthusiasm
to telling about it.
You're apt to fall hardest when
striving to do your best.
If you belong in the big league, the
scouts are pretty apt to discover you.
Not all men in politics are grafters,
and neither are all grafters in poll
tics.
A man sometimes gets reputation
for great energy by hurrying around
doing nothing.
You can't comfort a man in trou-
BILE by telling him how much worse
luck you have had.
When you are in a great hurry, you
may not have noticed that no one else
seems to be.
1t is easy for boy hunter to be-
come confused and mistake a tame
duck for a wild duck.
Admitting your guilt after It is
proven, is a form of honesty that
won't help you much.
If you need few drinks to make
you feel cheerful, you had better go
on with a sober crouch.
While the corset may help appear
ances in some respects, it can't do
anything for double chin.
A good many white men are IN
dams enough to catch the fish and
make their wives dress them.
Sometimes man marries an heir
ess and finds about all she inherited
was her fathers mean disposition.
Aside from keeping track of your
mistakes, you must use your own
memory rather than the memories of
others.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
HUNOR or THE Day

Millionaire Ito ragged beggar)-You ask
aims and do not even take your hat off.
Is that the proper way to beg? Beggar-
Pardon me, sir. A policeman is looking
at US from across the street. II I take
my hat off he'll arrest me for begging;
as 1t is, he naturally takes us for old
acknowledgements Blaetter.
Prospective Employer (perusing refer
enceS)-Have you any knowledge of the
silk and satin department? Applicant
Spent all my life among 'em sir. Pros
kets? Applicant Cforcibly)-Born among
'em, sir.-LondoE Taller.
Educational-stDo they teach domestic
science at your college?" inquired the vis-
itor of the freshman. Only sewing" re-
the visitor. And what do you sew,
chiefly?' wild oats" replied the
freshman.-Harper's Weekly.
81 am determined to live in LUXURIOUS
surroundings and eat and drink the best
ish man. THAT ought to be easily ar
ranged" replied Miss Cayenne. "Ail you
have to do is to get a situation as q but
Ter. Washington Star.
Mrs. Hoyle-What sort of a man did
man with a brunette heart.-New York
Press.
Your wife wants you on the te1e
phone" announced the new boy In an
office where the phones OF two separate
inquired the boss, thinking of the two
telephones, of course. please, sir said
the boy, Il don't know how many Won
haye."-Brooklyn Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

IFrom the Chicago News.l
A man is seldom arrested for striking
an attitude.
Wealth is a bubble that some men
try to enlarge by blowing.
Authors who burn the midnight oil
may provide slumber for others.
Where there's a will there's a way
and frequently it is the wrong way.
A spinster wouldn't mind it so much
If she could have been born a widow.
Most young men who inherit money
also inherit faculty for getting rid OF
it.
Usually the things that keep a man
awake at night are those he neglected
during the day.
Most people who are willing to loose
the strings of their purse know in ad-
vance that it is empty.
Men used to firt with pretty girls
and marry good cooks; now they marry
pretty girls and hire good cooks.
It's uD to some suffragette to adj
vance the theory that 'Solomon's Wis
dom was due to the advice handed him
by the numerous Mrs. Solomons.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
AYHAWKER JOTS

Don't take 'em off yet, advises the
Ottawa Herald. Spring has never Of
cially come until the crappies bite
well.
The Colby Tribune announces the
following hymn for the garden sea-
SON." Lay Down the Shovel and the
Hoe.
Mack Gretchen is on the hunt for
the old fashioned man who always
wanted grub that would "stick to the
ribs
Attention is called by the Ga1ena Re
publican to the fact that size doesn'
count. 1t points out that the singer
is the smallest part of the bee.
Some people think they are observ-
ing Lent, remarks the Salina Jour1Sel |,
if they can merely keep the newspa-
pers from printing what they do.
Be diplomatic and keep peace in
your family, advises the Gridley Light.
If your wife won't get up and build
the fire without a fuss, do it yourself.
Never willing to let we'll enough
alone, the Emporia Gazette goes out
of its way to state that it's nearly a
year since Kate Bender died the last
time.
Thinks the Scandal Journal: If
woman suffrage and the harem skirt
be to put the men in Mother Hub
bards.
An anxious inquirer is advised by
the Stafford Courier that the common
house fly is not protected by the new
game law. But it is about the only
game bird in the state which is not.
AS a general rule, insists the Downs
Times, the boy who wears callous
places on the palms of his hands is
surer of success than the one who
wears tEreadbare places on the bosom
of his trousers.
Will Palmer hopes that the job of
supporting a shiftless husband will
finally fall to the lazy big girl who is
now Sinking her share of the house
work at home-and that is probably
just what Will happen.
You frequently hear complaint be-
cause the men won't attend church,
says the Florence Bulletin, and it con-
tinues: Well, the women wouldn't
either # they were not always getting
new clothes they want to show off.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
FROM OTHER PENS
RRAzu,s PROBLEM.

Brazil has branched out with new
departure in government which is in
| tended to elevate the status of the
lower strata In society. AS everybody
knows, Brazil was once an empire
where several millions of African
slaves were held in involuntary servi-
tude. After the liberation some be-
came ambitious and progressive and
others decided to do as little as pos
sible and live in the easiest and most
shift1ess way. Such q class is a dead
load to a state, for the people of that
disposition are, poor consumers and
tnonproducers. Thousands of the de-
scendants Of the slaves have been con-
tent to live without homes, finding
shelter wherever convenient and get
ting their subsistence any old way. The
republic has millions of acres of I'M
titled soil and a great deal of money
deposited in the postal savings banks,
and the congress has passed an act of
public assistance by which even the
most hopeless class may be encour-
aged to take up a little land. build
them modest homes and become re-
spected and useful citizens.
The postal savings banks will aid
building associations in the work of
helping thrifty workingmen to acquire
homes. 1t exempts from taxation all
building materials so used and it offers
to exempt from taxation all property
put to such use for a period of Is
years. The ownership is to be &C
quired by landIess people on rent
purchase plan and thus the republic
hopes to increase the per capita wealth
the independence and the thrift of its
people.-Detroit News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
LONG Trip to lovers Grave.

have received letters describing her
journey of nearly 5000 miles to the
grave of her sweetheart, Lieut.. Boyd
Alexander, the famous explorer, who
was murdered in central Africa in May
of last year. In the French Sudan he
met his death through the treachery Of
the natives of Wadai-
Miss Macleod, who is the daughter
of Sir Reginald Macleod, formerly
permanent undersecretary for Scot
land. determined to make pilgrimage
to Lake Chad in order to place mem
orial cross on her -sweethearts grave.
She started on her journey in August
last and landed at the mouth of the
Niger. For 1000 miles Miss Mac
Leod was borne in a litter by native
bows and reached Maifoni without
mishap.-London Correspondence New
York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
KANSAS COMMENT
WHY BOYS LEAVE THE FARM

VIII 6O , LEAVE THE FARM.
Some of our farmers wonder why
their sons have desire to quit the
farm, preferring town or city life.
The cause is with the farmer himself
With the boy on the farm it is per-
petual toll in good weather, all
through the busy season. and per-
petual loneliness in bad weather and
most of the winter season. The time
when the farmer has leisure is at the
very time when they cannot get away
from home on account of their isola-
ton and bad roads. The boy hungers
for company and his heart revolts
against this uncomfortable loneliness
and to free himself from IT. walks
miles through the mud to spend an
hour at the country store. We are
glad to note that in some sections of
our country the young people of both
sexes, have broken through these bar
riers, and established farmers clubs
and little societies of ono sort or an
other. This should be encouraged and
will prove great tonic to keep young
people on the farm and make life to
them worth the living -Sterling Bull
letin. p
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

Neither is being president of these
United States without its drawbacks.
And among them is that when an in
cumbent in this high Office desires to
attend a baseball game at the opening
of the season, he has to toss the ball
to begin the game with from his seat
in the grandstand
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Unlike charity, poverty is almost sure
to begin at home.
y
Most people are sure there is nothing
in the theory that the good die young.
n
OF the many speeches that are made,
only a very few amount to anything.
4 =
The successful man never seems to
have any difficulty in finding plenty of
opportunities to be more so.
-
Persons who are always crying that
they are being imposed upon by other
ers are likely imposing on some one
else.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

inasmuch as this gentleman once had
charge of the work of trying to build
a canal at Panama for the French
government, it is reasonable to as
sumo that his opinions in the premises
are not particularly weighty.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

Thus do the mighty fall. Senator
Joe Bailey of Texas was not given a
place on the new Democratic steering
committee in the United States senate.
Bailey's future Democratic leadership
in the senate will likely be confined to
mapping out a course merely for his
own procedure.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[From the New York Press.1

The only way man. can cut an
other out with girl is for her to do it..
Where there's will there's a way
for the heirs to spend what it leaves.
If you don't tell a vain man he
we'll
It will be heaven sure enough II
there are no first of the month bills
there.
The only man who believes in luck
is the one who has things against him;
the fellow who has them with him
is sure his brains did it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

The preparations of the Diaz gov
eminent to equip its troops in better
fashion need not necessarily be con-
strued as being inimical to the move
ment for peace which seems to be I'M
der way between the rebels and the
federals. The theory is, you know,
that in times of peace it is incumbent
to prepare for war.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14


Whenever we are awfully hard up
for something to write, we invariably
fall back on junk like this:
The man who stops to think before
saying it, may be quiet person, but
he doesn't have so much to take
back. One who jumps at conclu-
sion5 is liable to miss them and go
in the hole. Man who is silent be-
cause he can't think of anything APP
propriate to say, is always the first
one to realize the folly of talking too
much -. Friend of ours who has
seen 1t, can't remember what Judy
Forgot" unless it was part of her
clothes. .Boozefighters are inven-
tive to an extreme when it comes to
framing excuses, but the best of their
excuses are no better than the worst:
the worst is that the drinker is trying
to keep his floating ribs afloat.
And stuff like the above frequently
passes the blue pencil. z
i The only advantage of the bifur-
Gated skirt is a useless one: a woman
can get on both sides of a question
anyway.
In New York a policeman had
chunk shot out of his backbone, but
the surgeons patched him up, and he
Is back on the beat. But a policeman
doesn't need much backbone; now, If
that bullet had carried away a por-
ton of his gall
HEP
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
Inauguration oil Davis.

The first event to bring all patriotic
Richmond into the streets that winter
was the Inauguration of our president,
Jefferson Davis. on February %, 1852.
We were asked to witness the ceremony
from window of the Virginia State
library in the capitol, by our friend Mr..
John r. Thompson, the librarian i'm
chief, and. were entertained, while
awaiting events, with the latest North
ern papers, Harper's Weekly and 9TH
ers, together with the extraordinary
apparition of box of French bonbons,
just arrived by underground EXPRESS
| It was dismal day. depressing to
stoutest spirits, rain falling heavily,
and the Capitol square beneath US one
mass of open umbrellas. When the
poor wet bishop and the president
elect came upon the stand, there was
an Immediate portentous hush in the
crowd. One heard nothing but the
patter of the winter rain. The brief
ceremony over, when President Davis
kissed the book, accepting, under God,
the trust of our young and struggling
nation, great shout went up and we
distinctly heard voices of God bless
our president That evening Presi-
dent and Mrs. Davis received at their
residence, making most favorable i'm
preston upon all Richmond.
We had been hearing a good deal of
the inner life of the presidents family,
from a young inmate Of his house
hold destined to play an important
part in my life thereafter. This was
Burton Norvell Harrison, born in
Louisiana, Of Virginia parentage on the
fathers side, who, at the instance of
his friend, Representative L. @. c.
Lamar, had been summoned by the
president to be his private secretary
at the moment when Mr.. Harrison was
about to enlist in New Orleans as a
private in the ranks of the Washing
ton artillery, Mr.. Harrison, having
graduated at Yale in the class of 1859,
had been designated by President F. A.
P. Barnard, then of Oxford University
| in Mississippi (whose fist wife was
Mr.. Harrison's aunt) tc occupy a
junior professorship in that institution.
and had remained there Until the out
break Of the war.-Mrs. Burton Har-
rison, in Scribners.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

Mr.. Imri Zumwalt, who has always
seemed to make it point to stir up
as much trouble as possible in Kansas,
has been named by Governor Stubs
as one of the delegates from this
state to the national peace congress to
be held at. Baltimore on May 3-5.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

Now that the major baseball
leagues have started the ball a-rolling,
It may be said that the open season"
on umpires is also under way. And
the new Kansas game law seems to be
deficient in not having provided for
their protection.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

hope" has been uncovered in Boston.
But the best bet in this particular
would be to see to it that Jack john
son IS kept out of Jail so he can con-
tinue the pace he has been travelling
Of late. It's of the killing variety.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

And Kansas. the queen os the agri-
cultural states Of the Union. is now
without representation on the COM
Tnittee of agriculture OF the national
house of representatives one of the
most important Of the congressional
committees. Nuf sed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

It has been necessary for the state
authorities to inform the ignorant
again that Kansas has NJ state flag.
The grand old stars and stripes of the
nation are plenty good enough for her
and sufficient for all stste occasions
when a display of flags is necessary.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

A Duroc Jersey, weighing $50
pounds is styled as the biggest hog in
Kansas. Evidently the claimants for
this record have forgotten about the
''end-seat hog who will be on the
Job as soon as the open street car sea-
son begins
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
THE BOYS ROOM.

How about your boys room? Par
ents do not wish their boys to loaf on
the street corners, much less to spend
their time and money in saloons and
pool rooms. Club rooms are not much
better. Give your son, therefore, a
room in the house that is in all re-
tain his friends in boyish fashion.
Make that room attractive SO he ever
feels proud to show it to his compan-
ions. The boys room, if there is such
a room found in the house, is very Of
ten the catchall for discarded furni-
ture, mismated curtains and impossi-
BILE pictures. Boys appreciate a honey
and pleasant room, and in a majority
of cases are tempted to spend their
leisure time there. Wise parents should
not expect their son to find content
ment in sitting in grandfather's arm
chair and then ait p. m. bury him
self in a feather bed. Boys will be
boys as long as dogs have tails.-Troy
Chief -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

No one, with the possible exception
of his mother-in-law, would care to
see an injustice done DR.. Hyde, but
the fact that he will be the star in an
other long drawn out trial on the
charge Of having murdered Colonel
Swope, is somewhat distressing, to say
fha least
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

Artificial diamonds of good size are
now being made. They are as color
less and transparent as the natural
gem and have even greater luster and
retroactive power. But-and here comes
the rub-they are so brittle they can
not be cut and polished. Were It not
for the butts" and the "ifs'' the in
gsnuity and activities of man in every
field of endeavor would be without
limitations.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
b
t.s7::ls

Mike Link, deceased, seems to Q.
the missing one in the Lorimer case
They wanted him for witness.
The Las Vegas gent who KIDNAPPED
his little nephew, was undoupteoy
one of those conservationists who be-
neve in keeping it in the family.
When a Chinaman gets sick, ne
takes dragon-blood pills and burns
few bundles of red paper. AND the
average life of Chink is about the
same as that of the white human who
patronizes specialists.
Beautiful Kansas, where the air is
either full of dust or debris. (To Kan
sas poets: There, cuss yuh, work OUT
on that tip.)
ADD BEAUTIFUL KANSAS:
why doth the farmer tie a rope
Unto his cow" asked Willie Towne,
Pa Towne replied: HE has a hope
That he, mayhap, can pull her down
When e'er a Zephyr passes by
And hoists said bovine to the sky"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

wrestling is said to be as old as
the hills. To be sure, Adam and Eve
wrestled with temptation, but they
failed to get the decision.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
PROTECTING DOCUMENTS.


In most of the government build
ings at Washington, none of which are
impervious to fire, there are stored
vast hordes of valuable public docu-
ments of great historical interest, as
well as ofsthe' greatest value to the
proper conduct of the governm ent
business Despite their historic or in
trinsic value, the older documents are
so stored as to give room Tor current
business, and without regard to their
preservation from fire or natural de-
terioration from damp or other causes
Besides being unsafe, these documents
are to a great extent inaccessible, and,
therefore. of little value to students
and others, who might Eeve reason to
consult or study them.
Some provision should be made for
the proper storing of such historic and
valuable documents and books, where
neither fire nor other destructive
agents can reach them. Much useless
trash could be got rid of, and the
really valuable documents stored IN a
properly constructive arcnive pullo-
ing at Washington and at the various
state capitals where they might be ac-
cessibIe under reasonable regulations
to students or others having an inter-
est in consulting them. The construc-
ton of such archive buildings would
involve some expense, OF course, Due
the cost would be small in comparison
with the irreparable loss which such
catastrophes as that Albany in
voIve-New Orleans Picayune.
SAUERKRAUT AND LONGEVITY.
To the long list of receipts for attain
ing old age must now be added a new
one, highly recommended by man not
with a Teutonic, but with a Celtic,
name. He is enthusiastic about sauer-
kraut, which he maintains will enable
anv man or woman to live century or
more. 1t will conduce not only to lon
gevity, blu to happiness. 1t is both nu-
tritious and appetizing. 1t feeds the
body and stimulates the mind. 1t is
cheap and will reduce the high cost of
living.
At least that is what its sponsor
claims as the result of his personal
d.fly experience with sauerkraut for
about so years. He docs not say how
often one ought to eat sauerkraut n
order to become a centenarian, but
since he advocates two meals a day for
the average persons, he would probably
not recommend eating sauerkraut be-
tween meals.
Made of cabbage cut fine and allowed
to ferment in a brine consisting of its
own Juice with salt, sauerkraut has al
ways been considered one of the most
indigestible dishes ever invented. But
perhaps for that very reason the man
or woman who could eat it twice a day
would be able to live 100 years on a
diet Of shoe leather..Boston Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

Strange, indeed, are the people the
world over. Little interest was taken
by the voters of Chicago in the primary
of the other day to nominate candidates
for several important judicial positions
in that city. When, as a matter of
fact, more concern should be shown by
the people in the selection of their
Judges than in respect to the selection
Of any other public OFFICIALS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
FIRST CALL 70 ACTION.

The bluebottle fly, one of the first
signs of spring, has made his appear
ance. We do not want to be accused
of nature taking, but have it from
good authority that the slaughter of
one of these large blue buzzers at this
time will decrease the midsummer fly
population by several thousand. Every
body swat the fly while the swatting is
good.-Mound Ridge Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

Kansas cannot now dodge pleading
guilty to the charge of being pluto
cratic. The black bass at its. fish
hatchery are fed on gold fish.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

A French engineer declares that the
lock type canal being built at Panama
can only be q temporary affair at
best and eventually It will have to be
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

The State Journal IL q member Of the
AgB0c1ated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report Of that great news or
g8nlB1tion for the exclusive 1ftDEnoon
publication In Topeka
The news IL received IN The state Jour
AAl building over wires for this sole pur-
poso.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

It's about time New Mexico was a
state. 1t has no specific law against
Kidnapping.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-14

The effort of some person unknown
to acquire a white woman for wash
ing" seems to be unsuccessful. The
ad is still with us