The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-11-11
BY ESTHER GRIFFIN WHITE
Burns has settled it.

| Burns has settled it.
That is the Knabe murder mystery
in Indianapolis.
| Dropping casually into Indianapolis
the other day on purely private bust
ess that had absolutely nothing to do
with the Mcnamara case he permitted
himself to be interviewed about the
probable reasons for the finding of DR..
Knabe's body in her flat with her
throat cut from ear to ear.
1t was, without doubt suicide, says
Burns.
Because. you know. and therefore as
said. and all signs point, etc, and
nobody ever does that way, because,
as | have just remarked and it would
be impossible that and it clearly
shows, BUT. do not mistake me, am
just talking. because you asked me to
and while | like to talk still do not
! care to unless get played up on the
front page in the headlines. Under
stand it. was suicide because think it
was, the evidence plainly demonstrate
ing. and as before said, therefore,
This is about as near as they get
to it.
The fact is that nobody knows any
thing, as one paper says, except that
DR.. Knabe Is dead.
What would you do If you were to
walk into a room and find somebody,
who you supposed as alive as yourself,
stretched prone and dead?
| Hn h1lt
the truth is you don't know what
you'd do.
There aren't any hard and fast rules
in an authorized manuel as to the man.
ner in which you must conduct your
self in cases of suicide or murder.
But you might think so the way
some of the exalted intellects over in
indianapolis talk.
| According to them it should read
something like this
Rule l. Carefully examine the pre-
misses and decide whether it is MUIR
der or suicide.
II. After concluding definitely pur-
sue either the two following courses:
a. If suicide quietly inform the
lady's friends. straighten your hair
and be ready for anything.
b. If murder, run to the windows,
going to each in turn, lean as far out
as you can, without taking your feet
off the floor, and scream so they can
be advisable to scream above as this
might disturb the people in the next
block who are giving party.
c. After screaming thoroughly,
rinse through two waters, stir lightly
with fork and call the police.
d. If, when they arrive, they decide
1t is neither murder or suicide, do not
say that you have hidden the knife in
the garbage-can. This might annoy
them and would violate the ordinance
recorded in volume eight. on page 296,
of the Amalgamated Statutes of the
Municipal Union, annotated by all ex-
mayors and by the president of the
Associated Order of United Detectives
which reads
do not speak to a policeman when
he's thinking. 1t is dangerous"
| For anyone to say what he or she
would do under any condition or COM
bination of circumstances is to take
on the attributes of omnipotence. For
there's no surer thing in this world
than that the thing you say you'd do is
the very thing you would not.
This not only holds good in murder,
suicide and sudden death, but in pro-
posals Of marriage, after dinner
speeches, addresses before Chautau-
quas and teachers examinations.
And this brings round the state
ment that Chautauquas and detectives
have some strange affinity, two Chau-
tauqua near-stars having stated recent
ly to the writer that they had pre-
viously been detectives.
While this may seem anomalous and
indeed almost unbelievable, it is not as
far removed from FEASIBILITY as it
would seem at first blush. For it
would take that acumen most remark
ably absent in many representatives of
a profession in which it is supposedly
a superlative asset, to root round and
find out exactly what it is Chautau-
qua audience wants and then give it
to them.
| One of the brilliant theories put
forth for the suicide plea is that DR..
Knabe owed several hundred dollars
and was depressed. Therefore she cut
her throat after first neatly removing
all traces of having done so.
| If everybody who owed a few hun
dred dollars were to commit suicide,
the population would reach that low
plane where it could only be augment
ed by the anti-race suicide propagan-
da.
Everybody's in debt
If you don't believe it, ask the Mer-
chants Association. Only first be
sure that you're without sin yourself,
or they might pull the rate-book on
you.
When women commit suicide. how
ever. they rarely resort to methods
which disfigure them. They generally
use some sort of poison administered
internally" and which does not dis
tort the features. Almost invariably
they are we'll and becomingly dress