The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-01-28
yrite, and he has had to make 'Novem

write, and he has had to make 'Novem
ber' rhyme with 'cuctmber.'
"Has ideas on the servant girl prob.
lcm; thinks servants would be glad to
stay at least four weeks I'm a house
where they were given champagne and
cake and allowed the use of the par.
lor and the piano
"Objects TO the butcher weighing
the bone with the steak. At such
times his words car be heard half
mile away.
"Is very charitable to the poor, but
his wife has to find money on the floor
to buy her stockings. one pair ut
time.
"Mr Bowser has been told that II he
had turned his attention to medicine
he would have made great doctor.
That's why he doses himself three
times day.
A Homo Jab.
"Mr. Bowser believes that what Is 10
be will be. That is. If his wife hap.
pens to lose her purse with 10 cents IN
IL ut WIZ jaw ulpullu w NIt tNt'hN VI
Il hundred dollars.
"IIe is known as n successful busl.
ness man. That Is. he has his club,
wines, cigars. etc, aud If his wife
wants cents for stick of gum he
talks about extravaganza and the
poorhouse.
"Has always taken great interest in
the drama: has been obliged to. as
some actor is always borrowing mon.
ey OF him. He has written three plays
all Of which were on the road for a
full week at his expense before bust
Ing. and may therefore be recorded as
successes.
at was Mr.. BOwser who introduced
the trick Of having a play open in the
city of Bagdad, In order that Bagdad
curtains might be right at hand. On
one occasion he attempted TO act, but
twelve policemen came behind the cur
tain and said they would not stand
for It. He might throw Black Hand
bombs, but he should not act except
over their dead bodies
on one occasion he may go to the door
and hand a beggar 10 cents. On an
other he may hike the man down the
steps ana over the fence. This trait
OF his makes the public rather cautious
In approaching him.
"Mr. BOwser has most remarkable
memory. Twenty six years ago he lost
l.f.s hIpF nNVtf
Mrs. Bowser about 1t yet. There are
times when he charges her with hav
ing swallowed II 10 spite him.
"Had Mr.. Bowser and christopher
Columbus lived NJ the same time they
would have been close friends. Mr.
Bowser would have very likely Offered
the long green to ut out those ships.
"Mr. Bowser has no hair to speak of
but he is "A firm believer IN hair dyes
He thinks that hair dyes and pumpkin
pies have put this country on the ped
estal she now occupies. He has already
advised the new republic Of POrtuga
to go in for them"
Flight OF Samuel.
This was the end OF Mr. Bowscr'
history as written by Mrs. Bowser
She had shopping to do the other day
and she took several hours Oft At III,
same time business was light with Mr.
Bowser at the office and he came home
to add TO those paragraphs. We whit
know him can realize what his feel
ings were before he had read tht
| fourth paragraph. He turned red an'
white and tried to say words, III
gesticuated and jumped up and down
When at last tha full measure
Mrs. Bowser's pcrhdy stood revealed
he looked for the ny. lie looked 70
the crowbar He looked for torcl
that he might set the house ablnze nm,
wipe II off the face OF the earth.
Then he grew calm. 1t was a dan
gerous calm. Not leaf stirred. s.
for ten minutes. and then he tore In
manuscript In pieces and wake,
from the house Mrs Bowser cam
home, but he was not there. Night fell
but he was still missing This iH
third day. but he has sent no wire les,
Is Mr.. Bowscr still living? Does h
read the newspapers? II so, and thi
meets his eye, he Is implored to return
Mrs Bowser was simply Joking Sh
promises To Joke no more She goes Z
bed weeping. and gets up all chokc
up in the morning. If he will only re-
turn he may threaten divorce and sh
won't say word
If anybody else will return him ther
will be grateful thanks ana all eS
penscs paid. For personal description
Of him see small bills.
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LaNfN Graa, Las DaN,naA