The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-04-05

tie the damage man to man and save
time"
When the owner was asked to es-
innate his damage, however, he re-
ferred the American to his estate
agent, saying:
That's a matter of building and
very complicated, you know" l
couldn't put a price on it-never did
such a thing in my life"
The estate agent, in turn drew
long face.
Damage to one of our buildings!
Oh, but l say, my dear fellow, that's
very complex-very. We shall have
to refer you to the solicitor"
The solicitor also assumed aser-
ious professional eXpressin.
Matters of building are extreme
ly knotty. Must settle in regular
form, of course. Give me the name
of your solicitor"
So the engineer handed the case
over to his company's lawyer. The
two solicitors agreed that they would
be unsafe in proceeding farther with
complex matter like building
without the advice of quantity sur
veyors. Each sde appointed it's own
quantity surveyor; the latter experts
solemnly inspected the crack and re-
ported. Ultimately damages of two
hundred and fifty dollars were
awarded. This was more than the
engineer had expected to pay the
owner direct; so he lost nothing but
time, The owner got only seven
teen dollars-the rest went for fees
and costs!
The American points out that such
procedure is inconsistent. The Brit
isher admits it; but he says that is
the regular procedure. The thing
has always been done that way. He
would rather be regular than right.
He thinks of precedent first and
profit afterward.
When a Board is No Board AT All.
When our business routine is
wrong it is commonly in some detau
that has not yet been thought out
and provided for; but when the Brit
ish routine is wrong it is because
the established way does not happen
to be exactly consistent in this par
ticular case. inconsistencies do not
worry John Bull at all. Much of the
enjoyment of his existence comes
from the abounding Inconsistencies
of his social, political and CONNER
cial fabric. The British Board
| rade, for instance, is not board at
all and has virtually nothing to do
with trade. The Lords of the Treas
ury are not lords and have practical
ly no connection with the treasury,
apart from drawing their salaries.
When the Yankee hears of such in
stances he protests: How foolish!"
But the Britisher says: "How jolly
British!" Once upon a time, when
| he was yound, perhaps he looked in
to few such cases and found that
they had started so far back in the
| past that nobody was to blame; now
he regards Inconsistencies as purely
| impersonal.
A New Yorker, establishing a
branch office in london, encountered
thoroughly senseless trade custom
| whereby he had to pay a commission
for no value rendered whatever
| When he protested, everybody said
it had alwaJN been done that way
Getting nowh re after a week of OBJ
jections, he pyid it in disgust Next
month it came up again and he held
out two weeks. Everybody conced-
ed that it might be unjust, but said
it had always been done, you know
So he paid it once more. By-and-by
it came up third time.
Teddy" he said to his English
head clerk, " want you to put or
your hat and find out who is re.
sponsible for this practice. Every.
body follows it and nobody knows
why. Don't come back till you run
it right to headquarters"
Teddy was gone most of that day.
We'll, have you ound the man
who started it?" asked the boss wheI
he returned.
; Yes, sir-that is, next to it, sir
There's difference of opinion Some
says James the First, sir, but they
mostly attribute it to Henry the
Eighth"
The Yankee in London will hard
ly be happy or get anywhere until ht
adopts the British view of incon
sistencies.
In venerable London chophoust
a thorough Johnny Bull got into {
dispute with a thoroughly British
waiter He had eaten turhot anC
had a second helping, which wal
charged in the bill.
But here!" complained the Gus
toner. IurDOt is the same price a.
roast beef and you never charge TO
a second cut of that. Why shoulC
| pay for another helping of turbot?
"Cawn't say, SIR" said the waiter
Rule of the 'ouse. We've alway
done it, sir; and the 'ouse as beel
ere since 1881"
The customer turned for sympath,
to an American at the same table.
TITS not very consistent" agreed
the latter, who had had long expert
ence in England; but you must ad
NIT that it's very British. Really,
think it's just these little inconsist
encies that give charm and characte
to English life"
"Why, that's so! You're quit
right" agreed the customer; and tn
suggestion so delighted him that h
, paid at once. The renection tha
though a thing is inconsistent it
also very British constantly lead
John Bull to pay much heavier item
than a second helping of fish.
, The Yankee business mind look
/ forward and expects all good of tn
) future. 1t believes conditions ar
going to be better this year tina
| theY have ever been before and in