Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-07-14
But If the ladies and gents believed

But II the ladies' and gents believed
he was fool. they were banking on
| the wrong card. He was an American
citizen with vote And If his time
was worth money to the ladies and to
| the gents in convention here assem-
bled, it was certainly worth money to
| himself. Was 1t merry jest they
were trying to put over on him? Not
them. Ladies and gents, except when
| they are drunk, do not pick up no.
| boes, battle them and shave them,
nurse them back to life with cocktails
| and then offer them hundred dollar
/ bills-not for fun. Drunk ladies and
gents were one thing. Sober ladies
and gents were another. And in view
Of the fact that the ladies and gents
in this here crowd were as sober as
crows, it was plain they had a game
/ in their sleeve and that coin was be-
ing passed-with him as the pigeon.
Take the hundred? Well, he would
not exactly refuse, but he wasn't no
drink and hand-out man, and he want
| ed his share or be shown.
While he was speaking they were
looking at their watches, apparently
oblivious to what he was saying; and
when he had finished, they began
the muttering again. The muttering
| swelled into loud and angry impreca-
lions, but they were directed not at
Snaggles, for he could hear above the
noise of it an oath now and then con-
signing ''the old fool' TO places of
spiritual unrest. The manhandler was
reaching for him again, but this time
he was stopped by the gentleman of
the restful eye.
"a moment" he said, in voice Of
| command. "Let the hobo retire under
guard"
1t was pity that Snaggles was
wholly unfamiliar with the climaxes
and catastrophes Of the ancient Greek
drama Had he not been so he would
have been highly entertained by the
story that was subsequently published
in the newspapers, when the matter
became one of court record in which
all details we're laid bare. Snaggles
did not read the story, having been
paid a fee of one hundred dollars by
the kindly faced gentleman at an in
terview the following day-a fee for
the part he had taken in the game
and was now busily engaged in spend
ing the money. But here is what hap
| pened when Snaggles, under escort Of
the younger guard, was conducted to
remote apartment on the second
floor of the house.
"Order!" exclaimed the elderly
gentleman "The time is nearly up
and must state the case before clos
ing the business Of the night"
They seated themselves impatient
". They were obviously tired of it
all, as OF a game they had played
and had lost. But the speaker went
on.
'In the transactions that are rapid
| ly nearing their end" he said, Il be-
lieve that none of you can justly &C.
cuse me Of unfairness Perhaps there
are those who regard me as an inter-
loper taking advantage Of the law to
| distrain from them wealth that is
| rightfully If not technically their own.
| Perhaps there are those among you
l
vert this wealth to channels in which
it would not otherwise flow I have
disclosed in my own character the
common human failing that prompts
us to better ourselves at the expense
Of our neighbors. Perhaps it is true.
Perhaps it is not. We will pass all
that. My only purpose in mentioning
it is to call your attention to the fact
that I am not unaware of the suspi-
cion Of the failing or even of the
! failing itself"
| He paused moment, as if in
thought, and when he resumed, he
did so with a sarcastic smile and
| distinctly dry tone in his voice.
'The experiments we have made
dollars, which is precisely ten per
cent. Of the sum that each of the
eight of you would have received from
the partition Of the estate of your
| late cousin, to whom I have heard
some Of you refer in recent converse
| tions as the old FOOL To charge a
man with being a fool because he
| sees fit to dispose of five million dol
| lars Of his own money in rather &C.
centric fashion may or may not be
! the best of wisdom. I cannot, at the
same time, refrain from remarking
| that the event has amply shown that
he was anything but the fool you
| think him.
What are the facts, my friends?
The facts, my friends, are these:
Your late cousin, having been left in
his youth to hustle for himself, was
disdained and neglected by yourselves
or at least by the older ones among
you, who had been made the favorite
| heirs of an uncle to the exclusion of
your recent kinsman. Did your cous-
| in complain at his fate, or curse the
rich man who had deliberately left
him pauper? All, no! He did moth
ing Of the kind, my friends. If I may
drop into the expressive slang of the
day, he got busy with himself and