The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-19
MEN OF NATION ENJOY JOKES AT THEIR EX- PENSE BY BRIGHT MEN OF NEWSPAPER FRATERNITY

Washington, February 1S.-That uniqu
 organization of newspapermen, the Grid
 iron club entertained it's friends at din
 ner tonight, and it would be hard to tel
 which got the most fun out of the va
 ried melange of wit and humor; or sens
 and nonsense, that was poured forth
 the guests or the hosts. There were man.
 men of high degree among the former
 men of stern visage with faces lined witt burdens of great public charges and re
 responsibilities; yet they laughed like schoo
 boys and chuckled and chortled witt
 mirth at the merry quips and jests of th'
 scribes that unfailingly played upon th'
 foibes of some of their own number O
 hit off in a roaring skit some fatal weak
 ness in the party policies.
 And the hosts had that keen sense o
 enjoyment that comes from knowledge
 that one has purveyed successfully to tho | utmost demands of mind and matter ant
 has supplemented repast of the mos
 exquisite viands with a feast of mingled humor and satire calculated to add in | finite zest to the entertainment. l Gridiron dinners differ from most other formal affairs of the table In the fact
 that guest does not wade drearily
 through a heavy course dinner clear down to the coffee and cigars and only then, with brain more or less dulled have an opportunity to listen to floods | of oratory. No; at one of these banquets the fun begins with the very seating or the guests and sparlSles and crackles through the dinner, and interrupts courses in a fashion calculated to drive we'll meaning chef to distraction.
 Tonight's dinner was no exception to the rule, for almost at the outset there was what appeared to be bitter row over the inauguration of Richard V. oui- ahan, publisher of the New York Sun. as president to preside over the dinners of the Gridiron club for the next year. Quite unaware of opposition, he nad taken his seat at the very handle of the Gridiron when he was fiercely beset by the famous democratic Committee Of Fifteen" Because they had undertaken to run the business of the House Of Rep resentatives, relieving of all responsibii- ity the unfortunate speaker tChamp Clark, whom they exhibited in shackles to demonstrate what a rules fight In one Congress can do to perfectly good sneaker in the next; they now extended their ambitious designs and demanded 10 be inaugurated as president of the Grid iron club.
 Scarcely had the committee been pla- cated by being resolved into "hog com bine" and order restored when a Jap anese spy was unearthed. Papers Of the most compromising nature were found upon his person, such as diagram showing where Honorable Cummins with place stepladder on back porch Of White House" blueprint of Honorable Tafts mind when Honorable Hitchcock refused to be impelled with toe of boot out of republican national committee; | '.phonograph record showing long inter vals of silence at Oyster Bay and | measurements of Honorable hole into which Congress throws billion dollars each year." Just when the excitement ran highest 1t was discovered that the pseudo-spy was Richmond Pearson Hob son. the Japanese War Scare
 Blythe enough was the sprightly clerk who announced to the diners that the House had passed the riciprocity bill, which he held in his hand. But he cut an awful figure few minutes later as he emerged from the door of the Senate chamber with his clothes in tatters, his hat knocked over his eyes and the parch- nent of the bill in shreds-"all that was left of reciprocity"
 Then for a moment the dining hall with it's exqusitely beautiful floral em- bellishments was plunged into blackness and the great fiery gridiron over Presi- dent Tafts head faded away. In sep ulchral tones lecturer lifted his voice amid the chill silence and discoursed mournfully and then in turn with pun gent wit upon public men and measures, and shrieks of laughter were heard as remorseless spotlight was directed upon the shrinking victims of his shafts of wit as they were each in order disclosed to their fellow guests.
 Thinking that he had quieted all op- position in disposing of the commit tee of 15," the newly-installed president of the club had been lulled into false security. bclOiC HE FCAy SJSS e~ "ic table was spread like magic in the open space below his seat and in twink ling an opposition dinner was in full blast over his protests. It appeared that there were insurgents even in the Grid iron club and they had taken this meth- cd of showing their independence. They utterly disregarded the president of the club and smugly constituted themselves a mutual admiration society.
 Tt is perfectly wonderful how we do it" (meaning the dinner). says one Tt is amazing that newspapermen should have so much talent,' volunteers anoth- CT to which a third gravely assents, However, we admit it." Notable guests had these insurgents. too. Among them were counterfeit presentments of Car negie, Tawney, Cannon, Sherman, Rev. cridge, Fairbanks and Champ Clark Gall of whom were present in the flesh at the real guests tables), and these were called upon in turn to briefly address the diners. Each of the little speeches was a bit of delicious parody upon the well known oratorical styles of the originals. Car- negie, for instance, objected to the num- Der of windows architects placed in his libraries. as not affording dead wall space in 57 places for his own name. and his ambition was ito die poor, but ad- vertised.''
 | Tawney was bitterly opposed to more
 battleships and economy was his watch word, but he stood for public buildings galore and for the many creeks that