davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
aubertiseu,snts.
Avoid Harsh Drugs.
rlany Cathartics Tend to
Cause Injury to the
Bowels.

II you are subject to constipation, you
should avoid strong drugs and cathartics.
They only give temporary relief and their
reaction is harmful and sometimes more
annoying than constipation. They in no
way effect cure and their tendency ls to
weaken the already weak organs with
which they come in contact.
We honestly believe that we
have the best constipation treat
ment ever devised. Our faith in it is
so strong that we sell it on the posi-
tive guarantee that it shall not cost the
user cent if it does not give entiro satis-
faction and completely remedy constipa-
tion. This preparation is called Rexall
Orderlies. These are prompt, soothing
and most effective in action. They are
made of recent chemical discovery.
Their principal ingredient is odorless,
tasteless and colorless. Combined with
other well-known ingredients long estab-
lished for their usefulness in the treat
ment of constipation, it forms tablet
which is eaten just like candy. They may
be taken at any time, either day or night,
without fear of their causing any incon-
venience whatever. They do not gripe,
purge or cause nausea. Tney act
without causing any pain or excessive
looseness of the bowels. They are ideal
for children, weak, delicate persons and
aged people as well as for the most hearty
person.
They come in two size packages, II tab
81 De,
Der you can obtain them only at our store
The Rexsl Store. e. g. MOORE, cor.
opp. postoffice.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
opp. postomce

A common mistake of local advertisers
is to estimate the patue of advertising
space of one newspaper by the amount
asked bu some other publication. is a
mistake of judgment for a business man
to estimate the ualue Of space IN a repu-
table newspaper ,O,th good circulation
by that of some other publication wh'ch
viu accept business at any price and be
pleased to get it.-Leavenwort (Kansas)
Timea
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
A Story Pepys Tells.

Pepys tells In his diary that in tue
Reign of King Charles III. a customer
bargaining with London merchant
Tor elaret hired q confederate to ''thun-
Ger (Which he had the art Of doing
upon deal board and to rain and
nall-that Is. make the noise of-so as
70 give them pretense Of undervalu-
ing their merchants wines, by saying
this thunder would spoil and turn
them, which was SO reasonable to the
merchant that he did abate two pis-
tolls per tun for the wine in belief OF
that"
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01

Medicines that aid nature are always
most successful. Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy acts on this plan. 1t loosens the
cough, relieves the lungs, opens the secre-
tions and aids nature in restoring the sys-
tenn to healthy condition. Sold by all
dealers.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
Wanted II to Show.

A rich old farmer once had his por-
trait painted When the portrait was
finished the old farmer looked at IT.
shook his head and said to the artist:
Every good Very good. indeed. But
there is one fault that you must rem
edy. Please make the right side OF
the chest bulge out. That Is where !
carry my wallet"
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
a Marked Judoe,

The descriptive reporter of certain
daily paper in describing the turning
of dog out of court by order OF the
bench recently detailed the occurrence
rs follows: "The elected canine as he
was ignOminiously dragged from the
room cast a glance at the judge for
the purpose of being able to identity
him at some future time"
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
A Miahtv Differences,

Brougham used to tell an anecdote
about the flight from Waterloo. Ma
poleon was greatly depressed. His aid
riding beside him thought he might be
sorrowing over the loss of so many old
comrades at arms and tried to comfort
MN by saying that Wellington also
must have lost many friends. He has
not lost the battle" was the reply.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01

Doesn't 1t make you sad," exclaimed
the member of the Audubon society,
''to see women wearing on their hats
the feathers Of the poor little birdsT'
ut isn't the feathers that make me
sad" replied the practical married
man. ats their bills."-Philadelphia
Record.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
Work Of Providence

'sThe man died eating watermelons,"
some one said to Brother Dickey.
"Yes, suh." he said. providence
sometimes puts us In paradise befo'
we gifts ter heaven."-Atlanta Consd-
tuition.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01

"a. what Is futile remark"
The one man makes for the pur-
pose OF changing the subject when his
"Ie complains because he has for
gotten their wedding anniversary
chicago Record Herald.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01

THE AMERICAN prints more ustdi sta
tistics-births, marriages and deaths-
than all the other papers printed IN the
county combined, and most Of them II
prints from one to tao Useks ahead Of sts
conferspororjeS.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01

Al the good aus,,t,e. a, E,v,s Cream
shiasi s.o'id, are found In Liquid Cream Balm,
Il is 10 intended for use In atomizers That
tarrh = wonderful remedy for Nasal Ca
ttsss.amony. 1t does not dry ont nor rasp tbe
tio" { ar passages. It allays the irfiamma-
essa ana goes straight to the root II the dis
fev o9stinate old cases have yielded in .
AM. weeks. All druggists 7sc., including
Ea,sng tube, or mailed BY Ely Bros, IS
"sfFen street. New York.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01

Chamberlain'a Stomach and Liver Tab
let's invariably bring relief TO women suf-
fering from chronic constipation, head
ache, biliousness, dizziness, sallowness Of
the skin and dyspepsia. Sold by all deal
ers.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
A WITTY Retort.

An Englishman in Dublin was asked
by an Irish cab driver If he wished to
ride through the city.
mo" replied the Englishman; II am
able to walk"
"Ah. WELL" remarked the jehu, may
yer honor long be able, but seldom
willing!'
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
unsueakabie.

~what would you think. daddy. If
Algernon Nocash should suggest be-
coming your son-in-lawT
"withdraw, my dear. while ! think
aloud. ."-Brooklyn Life.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01

Impure blood runs you down-makes you
an easy victim for organic diseases Burdock
Blood Bitters puriies the Enclosures sne
cause-bailds you up.--Advt.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
coIlset.d Som. AIimonx .AIse.

Collected Some A'imony Also.
She-This is Maud's third husband.
and they all bore the name OF William
HAYou don't say so! Why. the wo-
man is a regular Bill collector. New
York Times.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
A Sound Re..oc.

Mistress-Didn't you hear me calling,
Jane? Jane-Yes'm. but you told me
the other day never to answer you
back.-Throne and Country.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
She Wa. Wise.

asked Miss Jimps to sing some
@ine. and she refused point blank II
she grouchyr'
no. She's trying to make a hit
with you. Cheer up."-Toledo Blade.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01

It is a great evil as well as Q mis-
fortune to be unable to utter a promp
and decided no.-SsmmOns.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01
His Reward.

Lawyer Brown = So called the
Judge liar Lawyer Jones-And then
what did you do? Lawyer Brown
Thirty days.-Toledo Blade.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01

Whatever enlarges hope will exalt
courage.-Johnson.
Ellsworth American., 1911-03-01

A Very Great Impediment.
Ladies' Seminary Examiner-Miss
Jones. state the chief impeachment to
marriage. Candidate no one
presents himself -Fliegende Blatter
The new era., 1911-01-12

Both the officers and the crews of the older
navies used to dress pretty much they
pleased In Nelson's time attempt was made
to get the officers arrayed with sort of
system, but the sailors wore whatever they could
get hold Of.
That the dominant coors in dress in the Brit.
fish navy land resulting in the navies Of other
countries) were determined by woman's in
fuence is shown in English records. The Hon.
John Forbes, admiral of the fleet, said:
"Adverting to the establishment of naval uni
forms, 1 was summoned to attend the duke OF
Bedford and, being introduced into apart
ment surrounded with various dresses. my
opinion was asked as to the most appropriate
1 said red and blue. they were our national
colors.
"'No. replied his grace the king George n)
has determined otherwise. for having seen my
duchess riding in the park few days ago in
. habit Of blue faced with white the dress took
his matestys fancy. who has appointed 1t for the
uniform Of the royal navy"
While wearing uniform himself. Nelson was
Jealous in guarding against further encroach
mepts ON the sailors prerogative in the matter
Of dress About the time Of the French revo
luton epaulets began to be worn in continental
naytes: at first only one shoulder. according
tn tho ofacer's rank. In 1888 Nelson, while In
FRANCE. wrote to his father:
.Two noble English captains are hsss. They
The new era., 1911-01-12
UNIFORMS IN THE NAVY

wear fine epaulets for which think them
great coxcombs. You may suppose hold them
little cheap for putting on any part OF a
Frenchmans uniform"
1t only few years after this, however
that Nelson himself wearing epaulet, not
only on a single shoulder. but on both.
In the United States navy uniforms were pre-
scribed from the outset-but with the very wise
clause. inserted parenthesis. "if they can be
procured" By resolution Of the continental
board of admiralty captains were to have coat
of blue cloth with red lapels, slashed cuffs q
stand-up collar. fiat yellow buttons. blue breeches
and red waistcoat with yellow lace.
Lieutenants were to have blue coat. red
lapels, round cuffs faced, stand-up collar. yell
low buttons blue breeches and plain red waist
coat. Midshipmen we're to have blue coat
with lapels round cuffs, faced with red, stand
up collar, red at the buttons and button-holes.
blue breeches and a red waistcoat.
Of1cers of the marines were to have uni
form consisting of green coat faced with
white. round cuffs, slashed sleeves and pockets
with buttons around the cuffs. q silver
epaulet on the left shoulder. skirts Of the coat
turned back (like the uniform Of the continental
soldier), buttons for the facings white waistcoat
and breeches edged with green. and black
CATERS and garters The marines were to wear
green shirts.
But It IL highly improbable that these pre-
The new era., 1911-01-12
BABY's HAIR ALL CAME OUT

when my first baby was six
months old he broke out on his head
with little bumps They would dry
up and leave a scale. Then 1t would
break out again and it spread all over
his head. All the hair came out and
his head was scaly all over. Then his
face broke out all over in red bumps
and 1t kept spreading until it was on
his hands and arms. 1 bought several
boxes of ointment, gave him blood
medicine, and had two doctors to treat
him, but he got worse all the time. He
had 1t about six months when friend
got bottle Of Cuticura Resolvent, a
cake of Cuticura Soap and box OF
Cuticura Ointment. In three days
after using them he began to improve.
He began to take long maps and to
stop scratching his head. After taking
two bottles Of Resolyent. two boxes Of
Ointment and three cakes Of Soap he
was sound and well, and never had
any breaking out Of any kind. His
hair came out In little curls all over
his head. 1 don't think anything else
would have cured him except Cuticura.
Il have bought Cuticura Ointment
and Soap several times since to use
for cuts and sores and have never
known them to fail to cure what put
them on. think Cuticura is a great
remedy and would advise any one to
use it. Cuticura Soap is the best that
have ever used for toilet purposes"
(Sfpnedl Mrs F. r Harmon r r. d.
2. Atoka, Tenn, Sept. 10. 1910.
The new era., 1911-01-12
Thev Both Know.

The fool said one day in the kings
presence. Il am the king!" And the
king laughed, for he knew that his fool
was wrong.
A week later the king was angry. be-
cause of an error he had committed.
and exclaimed: Il am a fool!" And the
fool laughed. for he knew that his
king was right.-Smart Set.
The new era., 1911-01-12

Had Been In a Worse scrape.
Damocles saw the suspended sword.
That's nothing" he cried, I've sat
between two women with hatpinsl"
Thus they saw he could not be
scared.
The new era., 1911-01-12

admiral is a man of strong friendships. Ever
since his return from the Philippines he has
made his home at Washington-which is the COM
mon headquarters for retired we'll active
officers of the service. And those officers who do
not live there make 1t rendezvous, particularly
at holiday seasons. and thus 1t comes about that
there were in the capital at Christmas week an
exceptional number OF friends and acquaintance
The new era., 1911-01-12

of the admiral-oficers who served
with him in the Pacific and else
where. OF course they called upon
him on his birthday and he met
them at social functions during the
week.
AS for the admiral himself, he
lives very quietly these days and he
does not introduce many frills in
his celebration of his birthday ami
versary. On that day, as on every
other, he devotes a good share of
the late afternoon to long carriage
drive, probably handling the reins
himself. Formerly the admiral in.
dulged in a horseback ride as his
daily outing. but with advancing
years he has almost abandoned this
strenuous exercise In addition to
his daily ride he Is wont to walk
amore or less each day. walking to
and from his Office at the Navy De-
partment Annex building and in this
walk. on his birthday, he had as his
companion his only son, regard.
ing whom the public has heard so
little
The big event of the day, how
ever, was the admirals dinner party
In the evening. The most promi-
nent men in the nation gathered
around the festive board and the
president of the United States was
a guest. The dinner was prepared
by the admiral's famous Chi.
nese cook, who has been with him
ever since the stirring days at Ms
nila bay, and who is famous for his
appetizing dishes. The informal an
niversary banquet-with its gor-
geous birthday cake-was served In
the dining room of the admiraPs
present home-the house to which
he removed when the dwelling Civ.
en- to him by the nation, In graft
tude for the victory of May 1.
proved rather too small to enable
him to entertain his friends as he
desired to-
The new era., 1911-01-12
Seat, Of tho MIahty.
those
asked

Have you investigated those
charges against Biggun YETI" asked
the intimate friend.
Not yet" answered the distin-
guished statesman who was q mem
ber Of the investigating COMMITTEES.
"All we have done is to hold an In
formal meeting and decide that he
isn't guilty"
The new era., 1911-01-12

Constipation causes and aggravates many
serious diseases. 1t is thoroughly cured by
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. The favor
lte family laxative.
The new era., 1911-01-12
On the Doo.

A small West Philadelphia boy may
be an author some day He has just
finished his first essay. It is on a dog.
"A dog is a animule with four legs.
tale and pants but he never changes
them. He wags his tale when he II
glad and sits on 1t when he Is sorry. A
dog Is useful animUe because he bites
burglars but he is more trouble than
he is worth when he tracks mud on
the carpet. A bull dog is the king Of
beests."
II takes more than singing vo
cabulary to make prophet. ....
The new era., 1911-01-12
Breaking IL Gently.

Callahan was stopped on the street
by Father Clancy. The good priests
countenance took on a sad express
sion.
whats this. l hear, Callahan"
asked he, about your breaking Ho-
gan's head last night? And the two
Of you friends for years!"
Callahan seemed somewhat taken
back. Sure. was compelled to do
it, your reverence" he explained apol-
ogetically, "but out Of consideration
for that same frindliness, ! broke 1t
gintly, your reverence. e."-Lippincotts.
The new era., 1911-01-12

rh; a,r,ng room is q very imposing apartment
,tt araan wall hangings. heavy carved furniture
WI ,oftv ceiling studded with electric lights On
ana - The long walls Of this apartment there Is
orr.naed the admirars famous collection OF Fill
nino weapons, including knives, spears, shields
and other pieces of decided decorative value Con-
sn,cnous on the opposite wall is a mounted moose
head and an ingenious map of the world fashioned
from hemp by Filipino weavers Opening from this
room Is the breakfast room, which is used by the
Dewevs for all family and informal dinners.
In soma respects the most interesting room In
the admirals home is the blue ROOM, sort OF
combination "den" library and living room. The
wall coverings draperies, etc. are all Of brocaded
silk in the delicate robins egg tint, and the up.
ho]stery is In harmony with this color scheme.
Here are the admirals reading and writing table
and his "fayorite corner" containing his lounging
chair brought from the Orient and collection OF
priced pictures including original war sketches,
autographed photos and other mementoes. Seated
here the other day the admiral. who does not look
within ten years of his seventy-three years. said:
81 relish the little birthday celebrations I have
enjoyed in recent years. all the more because as
a boy my birthday anniversary never meant much
to me- My relatives wont to combine 1t with
Christmas in far as gift giving was concerned.
I do not recall that. as a boy, received a
birthday present and thought 1t pretty hard
luck then"
The new era., 1911-01-12

as the holiday of gifts. II he had any say in tho
matter 1t is doubtful If he would change things.
for he has found that far from being overshad-
owed by the more generally observed holiday,
many persons might expect. his holiday actually
takes extra significance by reason of close
proximity to the general holiday.
For thing 1t affords Admiral Dewey excep-
tional opportunities to old friends. and the
The new era., 1911-01-12

at this season of the year is found in the crcum-
stance that the birthday anniversary Of the hero
of Manila bay occurred December 26. the day
after Christmas. Moreover. the Admirals friends
make as much of the birthday anniversary
they do of the general holiday that just pre-
cedes it.
The highest ranking oficer Of our naval
vice is quite in concelt with the idea of having
his birthday anniversary fall In the same week
The new era., 1911-01-12

cases of great ceremony or where the officer
was sitting for his portrait
The facts in the case seem to be that John
Paul Jones. Nicholas Biddle, John Barry and
other nautical heroes Of the revolution achieved
their greatness in red or blue flannel shirts and
in any other clothing that came handy; doubt
lessy patched by the ships tailor. not too neat.
IT, with sail cloth. ~ the assistance Of q mar.
line spike and spun yarn.-Bluejacket.
The new era., 1911-01-12
zeEzkz4cT
.R0oN

DMIRAL DEWEY. head of the
United States navy, has an espe-
cial reason for feeling in fes-
tive mood during the merry Yule-
tide season. 1t brings him .
double holiday Not merely, you
understand. the dual celebrations
of Christmas and New Years day,
but another one besides. The ex-
PLANTATION of surprise Of red let
ter days in the admiral's calendar
The new era., 1911-01-12
Bad Taste

in your mouth removed while
you wait-that's true. A Gas.
caret taken when the tongue is
thick coated with the nasty
squeamish feeling in stomach.
brings relief. It's easy, natural
way to help nature help you. -,
cAscARErs-soc box-week's treat
ment. All druggists. Biggest seller
In the world Million boxes . month.
The Washington times., 1911-12-25
Connie Mack Is at
Times Most Sarcastic

Connie Mack ut times is the most sar
castle manager in baseball On the face
he has an easy-going disposition, vet he
Is one Of the sternest disciplinarians in
the game. although he is never appar
emily stern.
During the carly days of the American
League Mack had &c first baseman the
veteran Charlie Carr. who was recently
appointed manager Of the Kansas City
team OF the American Association.
This was in 1901. and Mack was hav-
Ing struggle to keep above water here.
He had a rawboned youth named Plank
on the mound one day. The Athletics
played wretchedlv. Piank's pitching be-
Ing as bad as the Mackmen's fielding.
Carr was particularly bad per-
former. After the giant first baseman
dropped his third thrown ball. Mack be-
came wild. but In a quiet wcy. He
waited for Carr as he was walking to
the bench. Taking a dime from his
pocket, he handed it to Carr.
why. what's that for?" said Carr in
surprise.
TITS car fare home" repJied Mack
coldly. "and take Plank with you"
Mack meant what he said anil didn't
permit either Carr or Plank to play any
moro that day.
The Washington times., 1911-12-25
Dwyer Will Probably
Pilot Des Moines Club

CHICAGO. Dec. 25.-William Dwyer
will probably be named to pilot the Des
Moines club In the Western League next
season. According to word from Presi.
dent Tip" ONeill yesterday the final
choice has not been named. but the
chances favor Dwyer. who now holds
down the first base position at the
Hawkeye town. Dwyer Is not new at
the job, having acted as field general
for some time.
Jimmy Barrett, former Milwaukee
manager. and Barty Mccormick. also
one-tiIne brewer leader. but now the
property Of the st. Paul club, OF the
American Association. are also after
tn. position, and both have talked over
the situation with ONeil. who now
owns the franchise which Comiskey at
one time proposed to buy with the Idea
of placing Duffy In charge and using m
as a farm for recruits. Both Barrett
and Mccormick would be acceptable,
but. according to O'Neil. sentiment al
Des Moines favors Dwyer. who has
gained a large following there.
The Washington times., 1911-12-25
Armour to Scout for
Bresnahan's "Wreckers"

CLEVELAND. Dec. 2s.-The news
came from st. Louis last night that
Roger Bresnahan, manager Of the St
Louis National League club, had Sc
cured w. r. Armour to scout for the
Cardinals during the coming season.
This gives Bresnahan two 'late club
presidents as scouts, Kinsella, of the
Springfield Qll.) club, having been en-
gagged few days ago.
Until recently. Armour was president
Of the Toledo club, but a few weeks
ago he sold his interests in that team
to c. w. Somers, Of Cleveland. Somers
offered him the position OF Nap scout,
but Armour did not definitely accept
His signing with st. Louis indicates
that he will no longer be affiliated with
the Cleveland magnate, with whom he
had been connected ever since the win
ter of 1901.
Armour enjoys a reputation second to
none as a discoverer of baseball talent
When he was manager and owner Of
the Dayton club he turned out such
players as Wiley Piatt. Elmer Flick,
Earl Moore, and Gene Wright, the lat
ter showing promise of being a wonder
full pitcher. when his arm went back on
him. He also dug up Otto Hess, gave
Charley Smith his first trial, and found
Baskette, James, Yingling, and others
who have worn Cleveland uniforms.
The Washington times., 1911-12-25
BREACH BETWEEN
ST. LOUIS TEAMS
IS IMPROBABLE
President Johnson Says
Clubs Are Working Un-
der Agreement.

ST. LOUIS Mo-. Dec. 2s.-There will
be breach between the Cardinals and
Browns as result Of the American
Leagues refusing to meet the ~ ational
In interleague games except upon GER
tain conditions. Whatever the result
on the worlds series. the worlds series
Of st. Louis will go on Just as 1t has In
the, past. ,... .., .
Ban Jahnson. president OF be Ameri-
can. when asked Tor an pi&i0n' as to
the st. Louis situation. wirld as fol-
lowed:
The Browns and Cardinals are signed
up TO PLAY annually spring and fall
series for period Of five yeeFs. They
handle their own tickets. each club at
It's own park, and work independently
Of the National Commission. This makes
AFFAIRS at Its park and saves money. as
aairs at Its park and saves money, as
there Is no commission to step in and
demand a certain per cent OF the gross
receipts.