Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1911-07-07
RUSSIA'S JESTER.
MS WIT TlCKLes TINE BEAR.

Ne We the Court FooS That Many {
Time 0es~sd the A~ese ~ Pstse tn
0ssst-his Miracle 81 The Sword and
Wsedssws Decd Of pssinS.
Every nation has Its typical Jester
around whom crystalline ali the nost
ing stories Of people. Thus England
has Its Joe Miller. Germany It's TIL
Enlenspieget. Italy Its Pune hinelio. tba
orient Its Nasreddin el khOja and
Russia It's Balakire6 Like Joe Mu-
Ter. the last was real character.
though not all the jokes credited to
him were Ills own. Some were inven-
lions OF Il later age: others were Dor
rOwed from the past. He shares the
credit for many of the latter with jos
Miller and Eulenspiegel.
History records that Balakiren WAS
the fnvorite Jester Of Peter the Great.
Tradition represents him a. the con-
slant company Of that car. frequent
ly exercising his wit at royal expense.
One day. for example. a cousin of his
had fallen under the cars displeasure
and was sentenced to death. Balaki-
ref undertook to obtain II rcpneve.
The ear guessed his errand even be-
fore ne opened his mouth.
"No." lie cried "'T1s no use your
coming here. swear that 1 will not
grant whit you are going TO ask
BalakirefY dropped at once to his
knees. Peter Alexeivitch," he cried.
II prny you. put to death that scamp
Of cousin OF mine!
Peter. thus caught In his own trap,
had no choice but to laugh and send
4 pardon 10 the culprit.
On another occasion Bala kiren ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
his masters domestic guards. Peter
consented for the sake OF the joke.
but warned his jester that Death was
the penalty II any officer OF the
guards absented himself from bis post
or mislaM his sword. Then 10 test
the volunteer he sent him up q dagon
Of wine to .'moisten his commission"
BalakireH. as WAS expected. drank to
the Intoxicating point. While be was
sleeping Off his debauch the cxar him
self crept into the room and carried
kirefY, though badly scared. on awak-
Ing made shift to replace the missing
weapon with his own wooden initA-
ton OF she guardsmen's sword. He
was called to parade next morning,
when Peter feigned hot indignation
ut the untidiness OF one Of the guards.
captain Balakireff." he cried at last.
draw your sword and cut OF the head
Of that sloven.'
BalakirefY cast his eyes up to heav-
en-. "Oh. merciful God" he prayed.
"grant that my sword may turn into
wood before use 1t on one OF my own
fellow soldiersr'
Aud. 10. when he unsheathed 1t the
blade stood revealed us 4 wooden one.
Peter laughed heartily at the knave's
favor.
A more serious o1ense resulted In
the Punishment OF the jester. Never
dare to appear again on Russian soil!
stormed the emperor Judge then OF
Peters surprise when, q week later.
he beheid hts old favorite coolly dnv-
Ing q cart past the palace.
How dare you disobey meY' shout
ID the enraged monarch. Did l not
forbid you ever to show yourself on
Russian soily'
Nay" replied BalskireY. II have
not disobeyed you. This II not Rus
sian soil"
How say you-no< Russian soil!"
'Srruly not. This CARLOAD Of earth
on which l am sitting IL Swedish soil.
I dug 1t up in Finland only the other
day"
Again the czar laughed uproariously
and readmitted his buffoon to favor.
Some historians add that when he
heard the excuse he said. "If Finland
be Swedish soil now It shall be Rus
sian before long" a threat he was not
slow to fulfll.
THIS story. however. was an old one
long before the time Of Balakire6. 1t
forms the twenty-seventh adventure
Of TN Eulenspiegel. who II reputed to
have died In 1850. Having offended
the Duke Of Nuremberg. TIL was for
hidden the land" He purchased a shil-
ling's worth Of earth to 6ll his cart
with. aud. being duly challenged by the
duke. he answered:
s.NGu oNOnS lprJ I m NOT In vNnF
land. but In mine own, wherein l dc
sit bought 1t Of u boor for shil-
ling. And rightfully could he sell It.
for from his forefathers he inherited
IT, So IL this truly my land"
At the close OF one Of Car Peters
campaigns HalAkire6 overheard souas
Russian ot1eers Boosting OF exploits
they had performed.
NAY" he cried. Il can tell better
story than any Of you" And. being
pressed for the story, he continued:
"Never have liked this mooax1 way
| Vt lighting all Ia \ body together
Surely II would be more manly foi
each to stand by himself. Therefor,
went l out alone IN search Of sdven
lures. One day while reconnoitsrin,
near the enemys outposts I espied |
Swedish soldier lying on the ground
Before he could rise and give tn,
alarm l rushed upon him aud witt
one blow from my sword sut on ht
right foot"
You fool" crted ono OF his auditor
why did you not cut "a his heAdy'
SO would have done retosts>
Balakire6. except that somebody sls