The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-09-22
SATURDAY NIGHT
&S;SISAASERMONS
,WSAnA BY
3 RMSAMUEL
" WpURVISDA
THE DULL WEDDING RING.


I sat at the press table in the court
room and yawned. There's dreadful
monotony In these desertion cases.
The constant serving Of spices robs
ones sense OF taste. "Why can't you
patch this thing up?" said "hizzonor"
why, Judge she doesn't even know
enough to keep her wedding ring
bright" 1.-THE ring isn't as dull as his
companionship ut home, your honor"
was the retort. Down came my tilted
chair with a click. The very trifiing
ness of the thing caught me. 1t was
like the newspaper at the breakfast
table" plea Not much out OF tune, but
enough to after awhile get on the
nerves. Marriage Is much like getting
violin and bass viol together The
first thing Is to get them keyed TO the
same pitch. There will be some graf
ing discord until Il Is accomplished.
Wedding day is set, preparations oil
made, bridal trousseau completed, cards
out, altar, music, flowers, tears, con-
CALCULATIONS, hurried goodbys-they're
Off. "And they twain are one flesh,"
says the prayer book. True, but not
always OF one mind. There are peculi-
arities and faults and incompatabiliues
that are never seen until they are
shown within the veil OF the matrimo-
NAL temple. And they begin with tri-
fees and often end with them. The
sight of n propped up newspaper or a
dull wedding ring may simply be the
last straw. Then Eden is past, ana
the gates shut Yes, marriage Is
failure-for failures!
Losing tho Rings 6urnish.
No matter how careful one has been
in the selection OF n husband it's quite
trick keeping him. Some keep them
in pickle, some In hot water. Even
poor varieties may be improved by
smiles, affection and patience. while a
good husband may be spoiled by a
poor wife. A woman may be able to
embroider beautifully or paint a gor-
geous sunset, but when unimaginative
Esau comes home hungry he wants his
dinner or he will sell his wife's right
for a mess of pottage at the rathskel
lar. A whining, fault6nding wife Is
worse than chills and fever. Some
men take whisky to get over the at
tack. A good wife needs more gray
matter in her brain than talcum on her
face. The best complexion powder is
a sweet disposition and a bright smile.
Peroxide of hydrogen Is a good den
thrice, but poor hair tonic. Break
fast dishes In the kitchen and note
In the dining room telling of a whist or
a five hundred engagement helps to
buy touring car for the corner sa-
loon man. A twenty dollar income and
twenty-five dollar wife spells poor
house or prison for some one Many
n husbands finances are strangled by
his wife's fine laces. Lots of suicide
pistols are loaded with unpaid bills
and aimed by an extravagant wife.
To Have and to Hold.
I charge you, Mrs. Dullring, to keep
yourself as neat and attractive after
marriage as before. Many a man
ceases to love his wife because his
wife ceases to be lovabe. She used to
fix up when she expected John Henry;
now any old thing will do. No, a wo-
man cannot always be dressed up when
she is doing her homework, but as a
neat housekeeper said to me recently,
"You don't have to get in the trough
when you feed the pigs" Most men
would rather cut OFF their hand than
mention such things - they simply
drift. l counsel you to make home at
tractive, nice, but not too nice. One
wife whom l know says, mo room in
this house is too good for my husband
to smoke in" They've nice home
too. Possibly that's extreme. Guilt
vate sympathy Of occupation. And
food-remember the ancient jestf
Newspaper prize offer, How best
please n husband?" Read poetry to
him." said literary woman. "Flatter
the silly fellow" said the tactful wo-
man. The woman who won the prize
said simply, Feed the brute" 1t is
certain the way to reach most mems
hearts is through their stomachs.
The Best Fellow In Town.
Foreign writers say the American
husband is the best In the world, is
hlnueT anu more cOnSluerate tDaD men
Of most nations. And you, Mrs. Dull
ring, ! am sure will agree that yours
is at least the best in town. I know
he tries you sometimes. He likes to
imagine he is a very superior creature,
but man is only a great big boy after
all. Beneath his rough ways, which
he has acquired in contact with the
world earning living for you and the
children, he likes woman to fuss
over him. know a man with a sup
posedly rough exterior who was con-
verted by the gentle caress of wtfe's
hand in day Of distress. A little at
tention means much. He's had a hard
day too. The horses were ugly and
hard to manage, the work at the shop
was exhausting, the customer at the
store cheated him out of a bill OF
goods. Sometimes he isn't well-a
man will drop before he will acknowl-
edge it. | charge you finally take him
to heaven with you. If you value
cradle above cards, prayer above pi-
nochle, If you are sensible. sincere and