The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-10

NCE upon a Time there was a
 work-Horse who used to lie
 awake Nights framing up Schemes to corral more Collateral to leave to the Olive Branches.
 They may have looked like Jimpson Weeds to the rest of the World but to Pa and Ma they were Al Olive Branches.
 Pa was a self-made Proposition-Sole- Leather. Hand-Stitched and Four-Ply, with Rivets around the Edges.
 His Business Career had been one long :sassle with Adverse Circumstances. Nothing was ever handed to him on Sheffield Tray with Parsley around 1t. The World owed him living but in order to collect it he had to conduct his Arguments with a piece of Lead Pipe.
 elwas out for the Kale, if you know what that means. He was Collecting Hebrew Diplomas and he had a special Liking for the light colored Variety with a large c in the Corner.
 He was going to provide for his Fam fly, regardless of what happened to other Families.
 He had little Office back of the Bank and made a Speciality of helping those overtaken by Trouble Any one in Fi- narcial Straits who went into the Back Office to arrange for Loan was ex- pectel to open Negotiations by removing the Right Eye and leaving it oh the Table.
 Pa had Norman Whlskers and Mack erel Eye and wore Shawl instead of an Overeoat and kept little Bag of Pep permint Drops in his Tail Pocket and walked Pussy-Foot and took more Stock fin Isiah than he did in the Sermon on the Mount.
 The Above is merely Rough Outline but 1t will help you to understand why his Wife preceded him to the Other Shore.
 She was a Good Woman who never formed the Matinee Habit and up 70 the Day of her Death she could put her Hand on her Heart and truly say that she had not wasted any Money on Jew elry or Cut Flowers.
 But she could have written a large Book on how 1t feels to get up in tho Morning and cook a little Oatmeal.
 Pa and Ma saved and skmped and held out and trimmed and manoeuvered for Years.
 They had been brought up in the School of Hard Knocks but they wanted Bertrand and Isabel to go through Life on Ball Bearings.
 Pa finally went to his Reward accord ing to the Local Paper and then it came out that Bertrand and Isabel had $400,000 each. which was more than Pa had ever turned in to the Assessor.
 These two Children had been sheltered IrOil tue Greal NOTl0, dltnOuSn never stinted in the matter of Sassassfras Tea or the Privilege of reading Books written by Josephus and others.
 As soon as he came into his Inheri- tanc@ Bertrand looked about in startl- ed Manner and then bought himself a Plush Hat and began to cultivate Pm- ples A few Days later he might have been seen riding in a Demonstrating Car with Salesman who wore Goggles and who told him that all the Swell Guys were putting in Orders for the $6200 Type with the jeweled Mud Guards. And next Morn- ing the Sexton observed that Father. by turning over in the Grave, had some what loosened the fresh Earth. Bertrand had Modern Plumbing put in to the Old House and built Porte Co., chere on the Side and moved lot ot Red Velvet Furniture into the Parlor. | Some said that the Moaning Sound heard at Night was only the Wind in the Ever l greens but others allowed that it was the | returned Spirit of the Loan Agent check | ing over the Expenses. Isabel stopped wearing Things that | Scratched her and began ordering from a l