davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Penalty of UnpOpularity

On account of his being stranger the floor had been swept so clean that the dust was not offensive. However this was a peculiar grace allowed only to persons of the highest rank who stood well at court.
 In fact, when those received in audi ence happen to have powerful enemies at court the floor is strewn with dust on purpose and Gulliver afterwards saw great lords with their mouths so full of dust by the time they reached the throne that they were unable to utter a word.
 Also when the King has a mind to put any of his nobles to death in an indusent manner he causes a certain brown powder to be mixed with the dust which powder is of so poisonous a nature that the noble dies within "A hours.
 But Gulliver was well received by the King and people and stayed three months in the country. He found the Luggnag- gians very polite and generous, and made
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Protectors Established

Lord Munodi took Gulliver to his coun- try house, where he saw an etstate man aged and cultivated with success-a flour ishng domain and mansion house and farm houses well built.
 This was because Lord Munodi had not been carried away with the rage in scientic exploitation which in the rest of the country had entirely succeed the practical.
 It apeared that some 40 years before some person had gone up to Laputa, eith- CT on business or diversion, and had come back filled with the scientific mania which possessed the inhabitants of the flying island.
 These persons, upon their return, began to criticise the management of everything below as "unscientific,' and fell into schemes for putting all arts, sciences, ian guages and mechanics upon a new foot ing.
 To this end they procured a royal char ter for the establishment of an acade my of projectors in Lagado, where the really scientific way of doing things should be taught.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08

rebellion unless they might be allowed to speak with their tongues after the manner of their forefathers--such con- stant and irreconcilable enemies are the common people of science.
 However, many of the most learned and most wise adopted the new scheme of ex- pressing themselves. It's advocates said of it, among other things, that the new speeches. language was universal lan- guage which could be understood by tn, people of all nations as the goods and utensils of all civilized nations are gen. orally of the same kind, or strongly re- semble each other, so that their uses may readily be comprehended.
 Here again the wise professors of La puta seem to have been far in advance of the moderns, and the professors of the university of Lagado to have been successful in a cause wherein so many modern wise men have failed-the inven- ton of a practical and workable univer- sal language.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Useless Language

The side of the academy devoted to speculative learning was as wonderful as the first visited. One system taught there was that of shortening discourse by cut ting poysyllables into one and leaving out verbs and participles: because, in reality, all things imaginable are but nouns.
 But still more advanced" scheme was one for abolishing words altogether Health, as we'll as brevity, recommended this plan for 1t Is plain that every word we speak is, in some degree, diminution of our lungs by corrosion and, conse- quently, tends to shorten our lives.
 Now since all things are nouns. words being only names for things, 1t would be more convenient for men to carry about with them such things as were necessary to express particular business they were to discourse upon.
 It will be seen that the professors of the great academy of Lagado were con- siderably in advance of the simplified spelling advocates and other language reformers of the present day, but had arrived at their wonderful discoveries by working along the same lines.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Stopping Party Contentious

This man. being q physician, offered a most practical plan for stopping party contentious in any national assembly, His method was as follows:
 You take hundred leaders of each party; you dispose them into couples of those whose heads are of nearest the same size; then let two nice sawyers saw off tho occiput of each couple at the same time in such a manner that the brain of each may be equally divided.
 Let the occiputs thus cut off be inter- changed. supplying each to the head of his opposite party man. These two halves being left to debate the matter between themselves within the space of one skull, would soon come to a good understand Ing, and produce that moderation as well as regularity of thinking. so much to be desired in those who believe they are sent into the world to watch and govern its motions.
 As to the difference in size or quality of the brains among those who are direc- tors of factions. the learned doctor as-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Absorbed in Wise Thoughts

2, At his alighting on the island he was surrounded by a crowd of people who beheld him with al the marks and cir cumstances of wonder. Neither. indeed, was he much in their debt, having nev- CT before seen such race of mortals, so singular in their shapet, habits and countenances.
 Their heads were all reclined either to the right or left; one of their eyes } were directed inward and the other turned directly up to the zenith.
 Their outer garments were adorned with figures of the sun, moon and stars interwoven with those of various musi- cal instruments.
 4 Here and there were men in the habit, apparently. of servants, each of whom carried a blown bladder fastened like & flail to the end of a stick. In each bladder was collection of small peb- bles or dried peas and with these blad- ders they every now and then Tapped tho ears or mouths of thees upon whom they were in attendance.
 It appeared that the minds of tho dwellers in Laputa were so taken up with wisdom and intense speculation that they neither could speak nor hear the discourse of others without being aroused by some external action upon the outer organs of speech and hearing.
 For this reason all those who could afford 1t never appeared abroad unless accompanied by "flapper" and always kept one as domestic in the family.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Licking the Dust

He landed at small seaport, and, after being detained awhile, was allowed to proceed to the capital. The King, having received notice of his arrival, sent g. party of 10 horsemen to convoy him ''and his suit" to the city.
 All Gulliver's suit consisted of was a
 lad whom he had pressed into his ser vice as interpreter and at his request each was allowed a mule to ride on. A mes senger was dispatched half a days jour- ney in advance to inform the king of his approach and to beg that his majesty would appoint day when the captain might lick the dust before his footstool." Gulllver found that this Ticking the dust" was more than mere form of words for, upon being admitted to the royal pres ence two days after his arrival at the cap- ital, he discovered that he was actually expected to crawl upon the floor of the audience chamber and lick the dust as he advanced toward the throne.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Worse Than Death

At 90 they lose their teeth and hair: they have no distinction of taste, but eat what is given them without relish or appetite. ing because their memory is not suffr- cient to carry them from the beginning to the end of the sentence.
 Of course, such people are not able to manage their own affairs-if they have any-and after 80 the law declares all struldbrugs to be legally dead. Their heirs, if they have property. at once sue ceeded to their estate, a small annuity being reserved for their support. The poor are provided for by the state.
 Gulliyer was taken to sec some of these .mmortals, and declares that it was the most mortifying sight he had ever beheld. He asseverates that his keen appetite for the perpetulty of life was much abated
 Tn fact he was convinced that no tyrant could invent death to which he would not run with pleasure from such life as that of the struldbrugs
 Soon after though the King pressed upon him to accept some employment at court he took his leave of the monarch and getting a ship for Japan voyaged to that country, and so home to England.
 Copyright, 1911. by Irving King)
 Next weeks one page classic will be "The Surgeons Daughter by Sir Walter Scott
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Things Overlooked

The gentleman with whom he was speaking stolled and asked Gulliver what he would do had he had the fortune to be born a struldbrug.
 To this the great traveller replied that he would first accumulate riches. Having done this he would devote himself to Inc study of the arts and sciences in which he might reasonably be expected in time to excel all others in learning.
 Then he would, as his life went on, keep public character and set down the several changes in customs, language, dresss, diet and divisions of the people SD that he would become living treasury of knowl- edge and wisdom and the oracle of the nation.
 And so he went on, his friend smiling all the while at his raptures.
 "Ah," said the fientleman, you sup pose a perpetuity not only of life but Of youth, intellect and health. But the struldbrugs, though they live forever grow old. And who would wish for an immortality of old age?''
 The gentleman said that up to 90 ihe struldbrugs acted like ordinary mortais. But after that, by degrees, they grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in both humors until they came to be so, which Is accounted about the average length of life in that country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Firing of Wisdom

Although Capt. Gulliver could not say that he was i'll treated on the island of Laputa. yet after awhile he became the most speculative and abstruse sci- ences were the constant and only oc- cupation of the inhabitants, and of neither music nor speculative science was Gulliver greatly enamored.
 Also, his deficiencies in these respects having been discovered, the people of the flying island treated him with neglect which rather chafed him.
 When he tried to tell them about the great and glorious country from which he came. its laws, governments and in- stitutions, the people evinced not the slightest interest-and their fappers were motionless.
 It was only from fiappers, court pages and women that Gulliver could get any reasonable answer to his questions or with whom he could converse rationally,
 So he finally asked and received per- mission from the king to descend to the realm below. and was happy in having as a fellow traveller great lord of the court-my Lord Munodi.
 This lord was practical and sensible man and therefore was only tolerated about the court because he was of the blood royal. He had great estates in the continent below which by the way, all though forming part of the kingdom of Laputa, is known by the general name of Balnbarbi and has metropolis. called Lagado.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Unskilfu; TailOrs

Gulliver felt great satisfaction at find ing himself once more on firm ground, but discovered that the inhabitants of Bainibarbi were quite as science mad as those of the flying island.
 One thing which was vexing to tho captain was the clothes the tailors made for him.
 They J.d not measure him in the ordi- nary manncr-O, no; that would have been too unscientific. But they took his altitude with a quadrant and then, with rule and compass, described the dlnen- sions and ortii.:ss of his wholo body, en- teriaG the data upon paper and then working out the.r calculations
 Tle result Was that, his clothes were very i'll mado and quite out of shape by reason of the scientific tailors having made a mistake in figure of their cal culatiens.
 But 1t was one comfort to see that such mistakes were exceedingly frequent md very little regarded
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Flappers Kept Busy

And it is the business of this attend ant when two, three or more people are in company to strike gently the ear of those who are to hear and the mouths of those who are to speak so that they may be reminded of their duty.
 The flapper is also expected when walking abroad with his master to occa- sonally flap him over the eyes. because he is so wrapped up in profound calcula- tions that otherwise he might walk over precipice, or off the island.
 It will be perceived that it was into a very scientific and profoundly wise com munity that Captain Gulliver had been drawn up.
 He was taken to the palace, and enter- Ing the chamber of presence, saw the king seated on his throne, attended by his great lords. Before the throne was a table upon which were globes, spheres end many strange mechanical instruments of science.
 It required two flappers, one on either side, to keep the king in communication with other men-so great and so awful in their profundIty were his cogitations.
 The kng,. aroused by his royal flappers addressed some words to Gulliver !n a strange language and the captain spoke was master-and he was master of many without being understood. but the stran- ger was treated kindly and soon learned the language of the island, upon which Le staid for 0 considerable length of time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
The Island in the Sky


 "HAT celebrated traveller. Lemuel
 Gulliver, set out upon his voyage ! to Laputa and other strange lands lying beyond in the good ship Hopewell, starting only 10 days after he had re- turned from his famous voyage to Brob- dingnag.
 The usual series of mishaps, which seemed to always lie in wait upon the high seas for Captain Gulliver, ensued and at length he found himself marooned by pirates upon an island in part of the Pacific ocean seldom. or never, visited by European vessels in those days.
 He walked awhile upon the desolate rocks of the island; the sky was clear and the sun desperately hot.
 Suddenly he observed the air to become cooler and the sky dark as If he had stood under the shadow of a mountain. He looked up and saw great, firm substance circular in shape and not only suspended in the air but moving through 1t.
 The bottom was flat, smooth and shining, very bright from the reflection of the sea- Its upper part rose in ter races up to center 600 feet high and with his pocket glass Gulliver could see many people moving about on 1t.
 He judged this astonishing island to be about four miles and a half in diameter. Subsequent investigation proved that he was right in his guess
 Gulliver made signs to the people in the lower terrace, who had evidently discovered him, and called out to them as the island settled nearer to where he stood.
 Finally a chain was let down from the lowest terrace-or gallery-and by 1t the intrepid traveller was hauled up to the wonderful island of Laputa.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08

Gulliver found Lagado of about half the size of London, but the houses were strangely built and very much out of repaid The people in the streets walked so fast, looked wild, had their eyes fixed and were generally in ragse.
 Going out into the country, he saw many laborers working with many sorts of tools in the grounds, but could observe no expectation of any corn or grass. though the soil appeared to be excellent. Gulliver was amazed at the sight of so many busy heads, hands and faces, both in town and country, while he could not discover any good effects they produced.
 He had never seen soil so unhappily cultivated, houses so i'll contrived and so ruinous, or people whose faces and dress expressed so much want and mis- cry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
The Jewel of Persistence

From the Los Angeles Times.
 T contribute my success is great part to my persistency,' said Charles M. Schwao in an address in Loretto. i've been all my life pretty nearly as persistent as tho Loretto barber
 Once this barber said to me, I shaved man
 "'Yes,' said l.
 "'And afterward. he continued, I pre- vailed on the fellow to have a haircut, shampoo. singe. a friction, face mas sage. an electric scalp rejuvenatlon. dandruff cure spray, and a tonic rub
 And after that? said l. After that, said the barber, The need ed another shave
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
A CLASSIC
 IN A PAGE
Copyright, ioi!. by Irving King. All
 Rights Reseryed)

Copyright, ioi!. by Irving King All
 Rights Reserved) |, In his voyage to Laputa the mad per- son. the great dean of St. Patrick's, has his fling at scientists of all sorts, both those who lay down the law upon arts and mechanics, agriculture and philoso- phy, and those who ponder the problems of sociology. government and political economy.
 His g.bcs are bitter, his sarcasm deep cutting, and he displays an almost fiend- ish ingenuity for touching sore places with raw salt In the general invective which Swift hurled at mankind his story of the land of the Houyhuhums alone is superior in virulence to the voyage to Eaputa. And then when the author takes his traveller to Luggnagg there IS dis played that famous and awful picture or the struldbrugs, human clay endowed with immortal life.
 It was, indeed, an anticipation of the sad end of Swift's own life and, as one of his commentators says. 'Is written with the same feeling which dictated his exclamation to Dr. Young when they passed a withered oak: I shall die at the top.'"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Aviation Secrets Solved

The secret of the ability of the island to travel through the air up and down or horizontally, was soon explained to him and the apparatus by which this le- markable feat was accomplished was shown him-
 In the center of the island Is a cavity about 50 yards in diameter, and in this an immense londstone is shaped like q weavers shuttle. It is six yards in length end at least three yards round it's thlckost part.
 This magnet is sustained by q very strong axle of adamant passing through is middle upon which it plays and is ex- aotiy poised that the weakest hand can turn it.
 Tho axle itself $ fitted in groove so tl.at it can be turned when necessary iior change of direction
 By means of this loadstono tho island is moved. For. wish respect to that part of tiie earth over whici. tho king of Laputa reigns. the stout stone Is en-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08

dued at one end with an attracting and at the other with repelling force.
 Upon placing the loadstone erect with its positive pole toward the earth the island, of course, falls; and. upon re- versing the position of the giant mag net-placing the negative or repelling end toward the earth-the island, of course, is made to rise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
Women Cause n Halt

This idea of eliminating words alto- gether would infallibly have been uni- versally adopted by the nation had not the women-in connection with the vul- gar and illiterate--threatened to raise .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
The Wonderful Island of Laputa

Gulliver responded, having been supplied 1
 by Lord Munodi with money for just such contingencies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08

serted of his own knowledge that 'it is s mere trifie.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08
-By- JONATHAN SWIFT.

the acquaintance of many persons of rank and fashion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-10-08

Next weeks one page classic will be "The Surgeons Daughter" by Sir Walter Scott.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1911-03-30

will be prepared 20 meet
and convey passengers 10 and from
any point on York river from Ian
lst. / have a new LAUNCH Just completed
Viii also be prepared 60 care tor pas
seengers, furnish meals and lodging
when weather prevents passage on river.
Am fully equipped 10 handle all passen-
gers on short notice / also desire 20
notify the public that I no longer use
the old Dali landing. bat. am at the
Simonson' slanding adjoining and above
the old Dull landing e. W. LARKIN.
Magruder, Va, Phone 5OO-3O.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1911-03-30

When you have rheumatism in
your foot or iDstep apply Chamber
lain's Liniment and you will get
quick relief. Il costs but quarter
Whv suffer- For sale by all deal
ers.
The third of series Of practide
games will be played on Cars
Field here Saturday between Viii
liam and Mary and Mcclure school.
Of Richmond. The Richmond boy:
have always had a good team. anc
This year will probably b co ex
ceptiVn to the rule.
/ DR.. c. Z. Bishop will deliver al
address on German Student Life
in Bethany Lutheran church. Norge
next Wednesday night. The WI
liam and Mary quartette will tax
part. and Mrs. Bishop will play th
( accompaniment. and also rende
several piano selections. For bene
I fit OF the church. and the public /
/ cordially invited.
Mr.. Q. II. Lee. one ofJsmes City
most substantial citizens. IS havin
a sale Of his personal property 70
day. preparatory to long visit j
the west.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1911-03-30
Valuable Farm for Sale.

Contains about 400 acres. soc 10
woods. balance arabic Moods consist
OF pine, white and red oak, gum. all.
hickory and bevch. Open land slis htly
rOlliug. with a good clay sub. soil Farm
Is well watered With hne springs. There
IS a ? story frame shingle-roof yelling.
with 5 rooms. Situate Ia James CITY
county. Va, about miles west OF vii
hamsburg. and within one quarter of a
mile OF the {. & D K K For furthes
particulars. address A. Brooks. Owner.
Williamsburg. Va. nag
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1911-03-30
HANDICAPPED.
This Is the Case With Many Williams.
burg People,

This Is the Case With Many Williams.
burg People.
Too many Williamsburg citizens are
handicapped with bad back. The I'M
ceAsins pain causes constant misery,
making work burden and STOPPING or
lifting an impOssibilty. The back aches
at night, preventing refreshing rest and
in the morning is stiff and lame. Plas-
ters and iniments may give relief. but
cannot reach the cause. To eliminate
the pains and aches you must c=TS the
kidneys.
Doan's Kidney Pals help sick kidneys.
The following statement should con
vince every Williamsburg reader OF their
efficiency,
Mrs. NJ. NJ. Haywood, 226 5Oth ST..
Newport News. Va. says: "DOau's Kid
ney Pills are a good medicine Tor dis
| ordered kidneys and / am willing TO
| Give them my endorsement. Foriour or
| I'VE yeaIsI suffered. mostly IN winter
from kioney cOmpla Mt. My back achcd
from morning till night, and il was So
1 weak that / could not do much lifting
and when l did bend. sharp t~inges
darted through me. 1 saw 10 ans Kid
ney Pills recommended highly Tor such
trouble and got a box. BY the sime /
had hnished the contents my troubls
Fad disappeared and today am free
from kidney compliant"
Eor sale by ali dealers. Price so cents
F0stsr-Milburn Co., Buffalo. New York
dc agents for the United States.
Remember the name-poan's--and
kaks 40 other.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1911-03-30
YatGS-fGntOR.

Mr. Monroe Yates and Miss Ruth
Fenton were quietly married at the
home of the brides mother. Mrs. B,
A. Kirby on Tuesday night at 7:30
o'clock. Miss Grace Fenton attend
ed the bride and Mr.. George Pitts
was best man. The ceremony was
performed by the Rev. J, z. White,
% Eoaacs ---A--.-