The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1911-03-30
THAT SAWYER
QUARANTINE
Citizens of Little CITY Down the 500
Tells About 1.-THE Population 70
dignant-Schools Closed ana
Business Interrupted.
Communicated }

The Sawyer Quarantine is rath-
er strange and novel affair, different
from most anything else in the sky
above, the earth beneath, or In waters
said to be under the earth. 1t seems
to be a double barrelled hair trigger
sort of an affair, and has such ADJUST
ments that first one barrel may 60
eff and the other not, or they may be
intermittent, or all unexpected like,
simultaneously both barrels may
20 at once and dead sure to hit,
especially if double barreled load and
considerable back talk, this seems to
make a bowling difference.
This Octopus seems to be patterned
after the old fashioned bell muzzled
blunder buss, only they were single
barreled, while this is double barrei-
ed, but by a combination can be run
either single or double, singfy or II
! collision.
The old blunder buss had no set
/ trigger nor trigger guard. This has,
the blunder sets, and the trigger
guards. r---.- .-'~~--~. ~. -~. ----"-e's
The old blunder buss scattered ter
| ribly and kicked like the d, so
does this, but 1t has this advantage
over the blunder buss. In scattering
/ it has the power Of selection. 1t can
pick out its victims and they can do
/ the kicking.
The old blunder buss never paid
very we'll as it was about as danger
Gus in rear as in front and most as
fatal and soon fell into disuse, while
this does pay or tries to. for II an
application for letters patent at Wash
ington was presented, undoubtedly
the heading would begin about thus
": A mechanism in the combination
of which two pairs of abnormally
elongated arms, with eagle claw fin
gers attached. plunged deeply up to
the elbows into the public crib, etc.
| This quarantine spread out on the
map Of Sawyer makes it appear like
the freckled face of some school kid,
and it is said it covers $4,000 fatal
diseases and can't possibly fail of
hitting some one of em. Why it's a
corker. 1t is said it not only covers
! Sawyer but blankets the moon and
SO darkens the sun that his "spots"
are invisible, and it is also said it
has knocked all the spots off the
Pedro of clubs, so as to get new
deal, and the new deal keeps coming
as the other Pedro's in the deck
lose their virtue. If It could In any
way be set back to a square" deal,
our business losses paid back, our
school proceed and its losses paid
back, our good people allowed to pur-
sue the even tenor OF their way,
there'd be a day set for thanksgiving
and prayer.
| 1t is said the Sawyer Quarantine Is
"agin' Scarletina, but some how all
sorts of dread disease have been de-
veloping, disease native and imported
diseases scratched up from the four
., corners of the earth. 'Tis even hint
ed that We'll soon have some from the
heavenly bodies. Good Lord deliver
US from what we've got here. II we
could trade off a part or the whole of
our Cure of the spread of it we'd
be well satisfied with earth, and take
the heavenly when we &c: beyond the
wall. ..-.w f
Sawyer quarantined for Scarletin.
ed-all at once the entire town was
shocked to find that 1t was the itch.
but this was soon allayed when /:
developed into mild form Of itch TO,
Office which was generally settled at
the spring election, no fatalities.
It 10 said in one house they have
measles. mumps, spinal meningitis
and lumbago. The old man kussed
bit, quarantined for scarlatina, got
double barreled load for 80 days.
Another had two with sore throat
(scarletina. Talked loud and long
got double barrel aimed at mouth &c
days Another with large family and
lots Of chores, some trouble. Talked
back with mouth full OF cuss words
Single barrel missed fire, escaped.
Another big fellow (scarlet fever)
shot Off mouth, cuss words too refined
shaved to close, double barrel, double
barrel, 30 days.
Another out in country, big family
and pocket book, TAXED loud bur
thro' hat got 30 days.
It Is further said, one family has hol
low horn, another gleet, another mango
another foot-rot and still another witr
q we'll developed case Of thumps for
one of It's members raised his quar-
antine, Just lifted the blanket ant
scooted up town and thumped on<