New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-01-28
THE TANK or THE DAY.

Young colored man in Washington re-
Gently opened a shine Parlor' near the
nov Union station and met with consider
able success. but soon his trade d"inoieu
on account of loafers. TO abate the null
sance there was tackled up on the wall
laboriously penciled sign reading
please don't Set
on this stand
for past time
unles you want
Sumthen dld
The Buenos Ayres Herald" says; Inc
Hon. John Barrett. on whom we nave co"-
farred the degree Of Dr. has just been
prescribing a tonic for American commerce.
in South America The recipe is by no
means bad. but its principal virtue Hes III
the fact that it suits all constitutions II IS
a shrapne shell remedy: II one of the IN
gradients misses the mark another Is IKE
~ to get there. The formula runs Take
of American rails. subsidized ships ana
American banks, Of each a sufficient guam
tity. mix with Spanish language, flavor
with a little commercial training and serve
on oyster Bay leaves. II this treatment
is persevered with conscientiously for ten
years. DR. John Barrett says. that tired
feeling Of which Pan-American trade COM
plains will vanish and the United States
viii control the commerce OF Latin-Amer-
lea
Local Clerical-May ! ask ~ which re-
ligious denomination YOU subscribe?
Newcomer-Im an asoestologist.
Local Clerical-And what. pray, do you
believer,
Newcomer-That If one sins often enough
the soul becomes fireprOOf.-i.tfe.
Turkey is probably the last place where
one would look for the recognition OF the
fact that women have any rights" says d
Constantinople correspondent in the "Oes-
terreichische Wochenschrift," but strik-
ing proof of Turkish fairness is seen in the
appointment Of DR.. Amalia F'risch as one
Of the attending physicians to the imperial
crown princess. Or. Frisch is the daughter
of DR. Josef Frisch She was born at Grau.
in Hungary. and after receiving her d.
plOma as physician, came TO CONSTANT
nople and is now a valued member of the
Austro- Hungarian Hospital staff, in this
city. She has often been called in con-
sultation I'm the Sultan's household, and
was I'm attendance at the recent confine-
ment of the Crown Princess"
pa. what's in that little thing the ar
fists always put on Cupid's hack? Is that
where he carries his arrows
ut used 10 be supposed that he had ar
rows there. but in these days he usually
carries divorce decree In h;s culver. -
Chicago Record-Herald.
Jarvis r. Edison. who died last Thurs
day was at one time connected with
manufacturing concern in Berkshire County.
Mass, which produced plastic material
like celluloid known as zyIonite. Among
the articles which the factory turned out
were collars and cuffs. the superiority Of
which Mr.. Edison was discussing one even
ing at a business mems gathering. But
] see" said one Of the men, that you don't
wear them. good AS they may be-" NO"
said Edison. I'm like our friend Blank. He
makes coffin trimmings. but doesn't use
them 10 any great extent Manufacturers
try to find out what The market wants
regardless OF their personal likes
What is a good joke
ANY joke YOU have read that makes
you sore because you didn't think of St
yourself Toledo BLADE.