davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18
LAYHAWKER JOTy

Ex-Congressman Charles F. Scott
has re-entered the Kansas newspaper
field. He has resumed charge of the
lola Register.
Deacon said fellow to me the
other day, you maintain the best av-
across. Thanks I replied. Eyes.
you continue to say ten fool things to
every smart one. e."-Osborne Farmer
Mean fling from the Ottawa Repub-
lie: 1t is said that Editor James of
the Independence Reporter has missed
his calling and that he should have
entered the ministry. In ending an
finally, o Lord take some of the
lemon juice out of our veins and put
in its place real, warm, human blood"
Leavenworth Times: "Has General
Funston's luck deserted him?" anx-
iously inquiries the Kansas City STAR
these frenzied military operations are
under way Funston is in Manila"
Does the Star forget that General
Funston ordered the exec -tion of a
large number of cats? And doesn't
the Star know that it's "bad luck to
Kill cat?" Even one cat?
From one who ought to know-Sen-
ator j.. L. Brady. in the Lawrence
Journal-World: The legislature just
closed will measure UP favorably with
any that Kansas ever had. 1t enacted
a big list of wholesome legislation and
1t had the courage to kill what it did
not believe to be for the best interest
of the public. The legislature of 1911
will stand as the bravest in the history
of Kansas. 1t feared neither the gov
ernor nor the populace.
Don't kill the next Bufo Lentigi-
nosus Americanus you meet. In short,
don't kill the toad. He is harmless. in
general, and in the fields and gardens
he is helpful, as he eats all kinds of
noxious insects. says the Kansas In
dustrialist. Scientists have often won
dered, just as you have done what the
toad eats. Here is the result of an in
vestigatiOn showing what one hundred
toads-slaughtered in the interests of
science-had eaten: Angle worms,
thousand legged worms, cutwormS,
army worms, tent caterpillars, miscel-
laneous caterpillars. snails, sow bugs,
spiders, grasshoppers, crickets, ants,
beetles, flies. The quantity is as star
tling as the variety. The amount tax
en- every twenty-four hours is about
four times the stomach capacity. The
toads examined averaged one hundred
bugs a day, not a bad days work for
the mistreated father of the pollywog.
Nearly every bug the toad eats is in
furious to plant life. The toad spends
its winters in the ground. 1t chooses
a mellow spot and digs into the moist
earth until it reaches a point not af-
fected by the freezing and thawing of
winter. Here it sleeps for four or five
months, eating nothing and breathing
little.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

ney questioningly. Reaching m his
arm, his hand came in contact with a
! board that completely closed the OPEN
! ing into the fiue.
This is certainly strange he said,
distinctly remember Uncle Nelson
| having fire in this CRATE last spring.
SO 1t cannot be that the chimney is
defective
The board slipped easily, and as he
showed 1t loose at one end a small tin
hearth below
1T is the summons!" murmured the
girl, in an awed voice.
The box was not sealed. Blake drew
from 1t a small folded paper.
To whom it may concern-and
strongly suspect it will prove to be my
beloved nephew, Judson Blakei
If you will present this testimonial
to Lawyer Green, and if you have
compiled with the other stipulations
personal, shall be made over
Blake dropped the sheet back into
the box. and turned to the waiting
Girl! Grill" he cried, gladly; at
is the summons. And we are all right.
We have got the house and the land
and-and everything
We?" murmured she, perplexed.
wei" very emphatically. And he
threw his arms about her in sudden
Didn't we find the box together
And do you suppose 1 would ever be
happy anywhere without you? Surely
you've known 1 cared-that 1 could
not speak, because 1 had nothing to
contribute toward that bill of fare of
yours?"
"Oh, well'' she murmured demure-
ly, 1--WE could have sold the eggs oc-
casionally and bought beefsteak.'
Dear. precious cousin-by-m mar
vic !. r141
and say that you love me, that you
will help me make the most of Uncle
Nelson's summons"
81 will-and-we are going to have
fried chicken for breakfast she said.
-(Coprighted, 1911, by Associated
Literary Press.l
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison Globe. ]

IOul LIS <AlCIllSOn OlOD0.
The average boy doesn't mind being
CT nee with plenty of palatable grub to
tempt his delicate appetite.
If a mans gardening enthusiasm
doesn't last until he gets the back
yard spaded up, there is no use send
ing him Back to the Farm.
Count MCGOWAN was in Atchison
this morning telling about a neighbor
who tried to kill himself. HE at
tempted sewer side" he said.
While most young people are afraid
they will die young. it isn't the theory
that the good perish in their youth
which prompts these vague forebod-
ings.
When Daughter has Strong Will,
she is more likely to demonstrate it by
holding out for a candy kid against
the opposition of her parents than by
head of her class.
When a man begins to cut down
expenses by using a cheaper brand of
cigars, he throws away SO many be-
fore they are smoked up that the pro-
cess doesn't fatten his bank account
much.
If you want to see a forlorn, un-
happy, despairing expression don't
look for rejected lovers: look at a
storekeeper standing in the door of
his store while his rival is getting the
trade.
You may have noticed that an old
friend you haven't seen for years,
seems terribly glad to see you if he
hasn't prospered as much as you have
during the years of separation.
Joining the navy is a great way to
see the country, but in all other re-
spects it is a good deal like working
on the farm without any rest on
rainy days.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18
HUNOR or THE Day

Il hear you have been in vaudeville
all winter
That's right. Cap admitted the
famous ball player
well, all I have to say is this:
When you make a hit, don't stop to
bow on your way to first base. Pitts
burg Post.
There's something wrong about that
new car you sold me-" says the man
with the exuberant ears to the auto
mobile agent.
"How's tnat?" asks the agent
'I drove it 200 miles yesterday and
didn't have any trouble at all with it."
Judge.
I'm madder than Murphy
whats the cause?"
"My wife wore a harem skirt down
Broadway from Forty-second street to
Madison Square"
"And nobody noticed her!"-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
''Your wife wants you on the tele-
phone,' announced the new boy in an
office where the phones of two separ-
ate companies were installed.
(which one?" inquired the boss,
thinking of the two telephones OF
course.
please, sir" said the boy, ."I don't
know now many SOu nave
Life.
Presbyterian Elder-Nae, my mon,
thereYH be name o. they new-fangled
methods in Heaven
Lstener-I don't know how you can
be sure.
Elder-Sure? Why, mon, gin they
tried it, the whole Presbyterian kirk
wad rise up an gang DOT in a body
Lippincott's Magazine.
They started in a purely platonic
way to read Lucille together"
'Well?"
.sIow they are interested in a book
that tells how to build a $1,000 house"
-Pittsburg Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18
THE uGuANTEs.

heignrS-
Men who had threaded dim forest ways
mere, the eagle circles in endless flights,
AMI plays.
bearoed were they, and strong of limb
Men in the rougIl-and in every eve
rlres were cleaning; lips were grim
some one must answer, some one die.
brlef was their meeting, meath the trees,
bI1eI were their words of aye and nay
ana tnere, In the vagrant early breeze,
Bodies were swinging at break of day.
Gone are the men from the slopes of
green,
Though the eagle scars and the forest
sighs;
Lost are their graves meath the glaciers
sheen
But their lesson of justice never dies!
Arthur Chapman, in the Denver Repub-
lican.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELoR.
TFrom the Ne

IF'rom the New York Press.l
The small man is smallest in small
things.
Strong minds are much more any
thing than agreeable.
Deafness is very contagious when
an appeal for charity is making a
clanor.
The less he deserves it the more a
woman wants her husband to be
praised.
A girl can be awfully- surprised
when she gets kissed, specially If she
expected it.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

Baker university of Baldwin, Kan,
asked for an entire $4,000 estate when
the benefactor died. Other Kansas
colleges asked that the estate be di-
vided among the schools. Baker was
given the money. All of which goes
to show that it always pays to ask
for more than the other fellow.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

than he ever was before. He has been
convicted and sentenced to prison IN
both. federal and state courts. 1t Is
said that Callahan has amassed a
fortune of $4,000 in cash by his
defiance of law Tut he has learned at
last that money does not always buy
irnrn11rifv
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

Guy Gardner. agent for the Union
Pacific in Topeka, has been AWARDED
first prize by the. passenger traffic man.
ager of the road for the best written
article on How to Conduct Ticket
Office" In other words the Topeka Of
fee Of the Union Pacific is supposed TO
be conducted in a better manner tn IN
any Office on the road. The patrons
will see, now, if Guy Gardner is mali
who practices what he breaches.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18
Needed a stimuIant.

They were on a winter shooting trip
down in Maine. Early the second
morning the coloners voice sounded
from the kitchen Of the bark shelter.
what in thunder has BECOME of all
orr whisky?" he demanded.
live d-drunk it," admitted the thin
member of the party, with chattering
teeth.
well, I'll be" the colonel paus-
ed. why in Heavens name did you
do that ?" he managed to finish.
"H-had to. old chap. III was
w-writing home last night, t-tel1inR
the folks what a fine time we were
having."-The Metropolitan,
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

In Hill City all the stores closed a7d
business men and citizens exhausted
the supply of picks and shoveIs in the
town and built a new road into the
city. 1t ives a healthy happy exercise
and resulted in a municipal improve
ment that would have cost the taxpay-
ers many hundred dollars.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

There is something wrong with the
Topeka population figures or with the
books of tie commissioner of elections.
It is hardly possible that half of the
population of Topeka is made up of
legally qualified voters. The probable
ity is that Uncle Sam missed a few
when he made his count
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

The municipal idea invented by Will
lam Green. when mayor. asking all
corporations owning poles in the city
to paint them different colors, would
be applicable for repetition this sum-
mer. The William Green paint has
worn off-it is time that the poles are
painted again
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

When Captain Titus predicted that
Topeka had at least 10000 voters who
were interested in the coming city
campaign people shook their heads.
But now that the registration has gone
over the $4,000 mark it is time for the
captain to say, 'I told you So"
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

The baseball season is not far away.
There are thousand ball players i'll
training on the vacant lots in Topeka
and the same thing is true of every
city in America
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

Topeka citizens are complaining be-
cause a house mover in town took a
big home down a certain residence
street and the rollers under the stIuc-
ture damaged the paving. And this
isn't all-that house mover is a city
commissioner who has charge of the
streets and public improvements.
Naughty man.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

If the city commissioners have
ruined outside competition for paving
contracts in the future by throwing out
a foreign bid, they have made a mis-
take in giving jobs to local contrac-
tors. But if no discrimination was
practiced and if their judgment was
thoroughly weighed they have helped
the city in keeping $40, 600 worth of
improvements at home.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

With their nerve in front of them
and the protective mountains behind
them the Mexican rebels will be able
to hold out several weeks longer
against the government troops.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

The Mexican insurgents who are em-
ploying the tactics OF General De Wet
In the Boer war should reflect upon
what happen to De Wet.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

Cy Leland says it was all right for
Governor Stubbs to fire Judge Glass
from the state tax commission. That
ought to close the incident
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

When the Topeka Railway company
installed their big new double truck
cars they spoiled" the patrons WHO
find it necessary to ride on the old
rocking chair equipment three times
dav
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

Another express strike in New York.
Luckily for the Kansas anti-prohibi-
tionists who use Kansas City as their
happy hunting grounds. expressmen
have not extended their strike.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

John Callahan, the bank robber and
all round thug who defied the law for
years at Wichita and laughed at the ef-
forts Of the officers to arrest law break
ers. is now in a slightly different position
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

The State Journal is q member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
gsnizaion for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
+ The news is received IN The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

Seed men in Topeka say this Is the
greatest season for garden seed in the
history of the city-garden seed sold
in small quantities. This means that
the down town office and business man
will spend his evenings in the garden
instead of attempting to keep cool
smoking a hot cigar on the front porcn.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

Another valid excuse for deplorina
me early Spring, is Doc Crumbine and
ms ''swatthefiy" slogan.
New Jersey is threatened with law
Wiitcn VIII create women police forces.
n the police ladies are allowed to car
~ guns, the open season for innocent
pystahoers will commence at once and
iast until the law is repealed.
Inc principal difference between
sylvia Punkhurst and other women
seems to be that she doesn't wear q
rat and has been pinched for swatting
members of parliament. But. outside
OF OF these trifling details. Sylvia may be
me retirement of Robert e. Peary
entails an expense of $4,000 per year,
put II the retirement is effective, it is
worth the price.
IN mentioning the name of Hon.
Dlaz, the Insurrectos intimate that
tney desire either his job or his an
CORA, and they are not so particular
in the choice.
THE VACATION BUG.
fain would fit to lands remo+e-
When Springtime Springs
And idly rest within a boat
And fish for things
Most suitable for Friday luncb.
But, sad to state, 1 have a bunch
That all the fish I get this Spring
shall not catch with hook and string.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18
RELIGION AND BUSINESS.

Many a prophet, blest with a good
commercial sense, has founded re-
ligion and made it such substantial
institution that it survived him as
business. The original Joseph Smith
probably never foresaw the extent to
which his church would be COM
mercial and political power; and the
late John Alexander Dowie perhaps
builded better than he ever expected
to do in a business way.
Zion City. which used to be fam
Gus In the newspapers as religious
and healing institution, has now be-
come a business enterprise OF such
magnitude that it has had much BUSH
ness in the courts and finally the pro-
perty has been settled in such way
that it has a prospect of a long and
prosperous career. 1t is now only a
question of a few years until people
will not be expected to work in it's
manufactures for the love of the Lord;
soon they will have labor unions and
wage scales, and will be on a common
business footing with other business
plants. The best business man in the
church won the fight for control after
the prophet died, and he will have his
opportunity to carry on the CONNER
cial side OF it.-Ottawa Republic.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

Wichita is to have a new union de-
pot. This, possibly, is the reason for
the hurry in eonvicting the Callahan
gang. A union depot would not be
safe from larceny in Wichita until said
gang has been filed away.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18
FROM OTHER PENS
THE AMERICAN ARMY ENGINEER

THE AMERICAN AKIN HNGlN EEK
The fame of the American army en-
gineer rests lofty and secure on the
success of the greatest enterprise BRAN
Cumulative testimony of the high abil-
ity, skill and expedition displayed by
Colonel Goethals and his associates at
Panama in surmounting tremendous
obstacles, and their praisewOrthy meth
DDS of administration, has now been
fortified by the report of a party of
members of the American Institute OF
Mining Engineers. Probably no body
of experts better qualified to pass criti-
cism on the engineering work has ever
inspected the canal They had the
fullest opportunity to scrutinize plans
and methods. They were told every
thing they desired to know, the canal
officials responding frankly and freely
to inquiry and criticism.
The party of mining engineers, upon
their return home unanimously Joined
in g. statement of their conclusions on
all main points. They think the pres
ent plan of the canal is good; that the
work is in thoroughly capable hands;
that it is progressing satisfactorily,
and that it will be completed by jan
uary 1, 1915, or earlier. Besides warm
ly complimenting Colonel Goethals,
Colonel Gorgas and their subordinates.
the engineers testify to the esprit de
seem to be a large factor in the sue
cess of the work. "a spirit of loyalty,
industry, emulation, and pride seems
to animate employees and officers
alike" the engineers observe. This
spirit, so difficult to arouse among
workers in tropical climates, is at
tributed to the inspiring example of
Colonel Goethals.' Post.
THE PRIVATE GARAGE
In deciding on the private garage. the
first requisite is a place to put it. In
the heart of the city the required space
is usually at premium, but in the
outskirts and in the smaller cities, the
house lots are larger, providing the
necessary area for building at the rear
Of the. lot. In some cases where there
is not room enough on one lot for the
garage, two neighbors may join in the
erection of garage large enough for
the cars of both, and placed half and
half on the two lots. The writer knows
of a case in which a man wanting t.,
build q garage for new car, and hav-
ing plenty of space for the game, could
not do so, as he had no space for access
to it, his house filling up the entire
front Of his lot. while he was other
wise blocked off in the rear. In this
dilemma, his hext-door neignbor, whose
house was very narrow and long,
bought a car also. By getting together
they were able to build a two-car
garage. mostly on the land of the first
man, but entered by the driveway en-
tirely on the land of the second.
Granting then the place to put the
garage and means for easy access to it,
the next question Is how large to make
it. Here is a subject to which the ordi-
nary owner of a car should give deep
consideration. A garage too small is q
perpetual source of disappointment and
trouble. Repairs of this and that ma
ture cannot be made because of the
lack of space. A small garage is, in
many ways, acknowledgements r,
Barnes in April Columbian.
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

The poor, but honest farmer, is re-
ceiving more than his share of the
blame, this season, and there is a sus-
picion that he may turn states evil
dence before time to elect a United
States senator. The most recent
charge is that he is responsible for
the canning of Judge Glass.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18
KANSAS COMAENT
WHAT PEOPLE ExPECT.

When man is sent to the legisla-
ture his constituents expect him to get
Wnat they want and if he makes
trades 1t is considered a part of the
game and perfectly legitimate. This
trading is what accounts for most of
the freak legislation Kansas is guilty
or A man agrees to vote for some
1901 Dill provided the father of the fool
Dill viii vote for a pet measure the
other fellow has up his sleeve. 1t may
be safe to say that it is necessary to
pass two fool bills for each sensible
bill that goes through. Oftimes, how
ever the bill passed in the interest of
some pet measure is not exactly fool
Dill but more of a trick bill. 1t is said
that Hutchinson and its friends have
been doing all kinds of trading the
past week at Topeka to get bill
through locating the annual state fair
at Hutchinson. OF course Hutchinson
Is good little town, but there are
scores of such towns and the other
counties in the state, in trying to get
through measures establishing expert
mental farms and such things, should
not sacrifice common sense by voting
to send this fair to Hutchinson. To-
peka is logically the place for the state
fair and Topeka should have it. A
canvass of the business section of
Leavenworth reveals that the business
men here all think Topeka should be
the place for the state fair, being near
the center of population and the cap
ital of the state and LeaVenWortn's .
delegation in the legislature will be
asked to vote in favor of Topeka. If
the capital city is the state fair city, a
man can attend the fair once year
and attend to any business of import
ance he may have with the state au-
thoritieS also. Quit the trading and
use common sense Put the fair where
it will amount to something.-Leaven
worth Post
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

Another valid excuse for dep1orina
the early Spring. is Doc Crum bine and
MS "swatthefy" slogan.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

T. r. has denounced both Hon. Lor-
inner and Hon. Haskell, and added to
their other troubles, there is doubt
but that this additional load will drive
them to pair of early graves.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

The latest publication to reach our
exchange desk is, the Silver Lake Mir
ror-a clean, respectable little sheet;
and, as the publishers of the same are
prepared to do auctioneering and real
estating with neatness and dispatch,
there is no doubt but that they will be
able to keep the Mirror in circulation.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-03-18

It is estimated that there are near
~ 100000 Irish in the United States.
and. If such be the case they will be
able. with a slight increase in num-
bers, to drive all the foreigners out of
the country.
H q p
Norwich bulletin., 1911-08-03
BALTIC
Ensiand-Big Fish Brought Home By Local Party.


 Chas Garret left Monday night for New York when he will sail for Eng land where he will visit has mother whom he has not seen for nine years. A large number of friends accompan- jed MT. Garret to the station where he was given an interesting farewell He being organist at the M. E. church and member Of the Samaritan quartette a number of farewell vocal numbers were finely rendered while. waiting at the station.
 Various Items.
 Miss Lizzie McGuire of Hartford is the guest of her father, James Me- Guire.
 Joseph PIante. T. Bamford, R. Swan son, N. Swanson, H. Sargent, G. of c. A. c. c. N. G., have returned from Fort Wright where they were in camp for ten days.
 Mrs. John Quinn of Occum was the guest Tuesday of Mrs. Arthur Roy Naomi Agnes Cullen of Rockville is the guest of MT. and Mrs. Vim. Cullen of High street.
 Fishermen's Good Luck.
 A fishing party consisting of Louis Tindeau, Peter Rabitille, Az E. Ray nell John Roy, N. yanasse F. Girard. T. Donvalle, went to Fishers Island Monday and returned with 100 pounds of founders. flat and blue fish, l.. Trudeau, J. P. a~yeteran angler made the largest catch, T. Donvalle brought in the largest fish, which weighed nine pounds.