The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-02-27
DOC PERKINS, REMEDY.


customer IFieo " on Flmselt Betort
the reg Had a Chance.
CUPPOSE nothin' would have hap
~ pened u il hadn't been for Bud
Willis droppin' the chemicals
(spenkin' about old Doc Perkins
champion remedy for man and beast.
bar nonel. Mebbe you never heard OF
it. Fact is, hardly anybody ever did
not that it wasn't success; but. you
see, only one lot was put Oh sale. and
that didn't last more'n two days.
Well, son. in the first place. some
fact'ry sent Doc n lot of bottles of
chemicals mixed for his drug store.
and Bud the was learnin' to be a drug.
gist then-he went into the express
business afterward dropped the box
into big tub setting beside the coun.
ter and smashed all the bottles galley
west.
Don't suppose nothin' would have
happened If Doc hadn't got sore and
said to Bud. You quit tonight; you're
fired" And of course Bud thought,
seein' he was fired, that he might as
well have some fun first. And jusT
then Ole Larsen. the Swede. hoped
in.
"Ay got sick dawg on house." Ole
says. "Ay tank ay skol get some
medicine"
"One minute. Mr.. Larsen" says
Bud. We've got a shipment Of medi-
cine that's just come in. and it'll
cure any dog of anything from hydro
Dhoby to hvdrotheraDy"
And Bud. hustlin out into the back
room, scooped up n dipperful OF them
mixed chemicals from the tub the
didn't know what they was any
more'n a rabblt) and poured the stuff
into bottle.
Here you are, Mr. Larsen" Bud
says. "Give your dog a teaspoonful
in a glass of water every hour and
see that he drinks II all"
So ole started Off down the road as
satisfied as II he'd had reg'lar docs
tors prescription instead Of that hog
J wash out OF the tub.
Don't suppose nothln' would have
happened IL II hadn't been day cold
enough 70 freeze your eyewinkers of.
| Ole wasn't dressed very warm, and
| long about the time he got In front of
Lawyer Higginson's he felt like he was
| froze. So. without thinkin at all. he
opened the bottle and took a nip aud
says after he smacks his lips, "Ay tank
| Ay amt ban waste dat on no dawg.'
| And Interchangeable drunk up every
drop In the bottle.
| Don't suppose nothin' would have
happened II just then A. Sleaver Wob-
bins from New York hadn't skipped
out of Lawyer Higginson's house
where he'd sold Mrs. Higginson a set
| Of Edgar Allan Poe de looks for $3.50
| or course for minute or two the
medicine didn't take no effect, but by
the time the book agent reached the
| front gate Ole was leapin' up and
! down and cuttin circles and sprlngln'
around like rabbit. A. Sleaver came
out of the front gate, and Ole made
long jump for him 0nd kissed him on
both cheeks and knocked him over and
began tobump his head on the ground,
| all the time yellin': "HOoraw Svenski,
IIooraw NOrski" And then Lawyer
Hlgginson, whose wife had Just told
| him what she'd done, rushed out or
the house and grabbed the contract for
$3.50 out of Wobbins' pocket and tore
II up and telephoned for the police,
and afterwards he give ole job as
| janitor IN the courthouse.
| Natchely when old Doc Perkins
heard what them chemicals had done
for ole he wanted TO do the same for
the rest of sufferin' humanity, and he
bottled all the rest that was left in the
tub
1t was the same thing that Bud had
give to ole. but 1t didn't stay on the
market for all that. No. About the
second day 1t was on the shelves 1t ct
its way through the glass bottles and
wasted out on the hoor.-Horatlo Wins
low in Puck.