Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1911-08-10

lie teller tnal hHOMs Vic icast II
generally the most anxious TO tell il.
o O o O
II every Teller would live up TO the
standard he sets up TO measure his
neighbor by, the policeman would soon
be out of a job.
o o o o
Some men are gentleman because
they are poor, others are as mean as
thunder.
o o o
w hen the old nick can't keep Teller
away from church in any other man
ner he sometimes persuades him TO buy
an automobile and in this way frequent
ly "rurn the trick"
o o o
Speaking of autos-is there an owner
of an auto who has not gone UP all the
steepest hills on "high?"
o o o o o
How like some humans the auto is:
1t has a muffler, occasionally slips
cog, has wheels in its head, is quite
sparker, smokes occasionally, at times
has breath like cigrette fiend, is an
inveterate chewer, consumes strong
drink, and barks and coughs like ii
was in the last stages of consumption,
and frequently it is-in the last stages
of consuming mans home.
o o
Job holds the record as a patient
man, but he never owned an auto, and
rode out in the country seven miles
| from nowhere and than had the auto
sparker refuse TO spark, or the Scar
butter" refuse TO "butt" and crawled
down under the blamed machine with
the best of intentions, only TO get his
hands all skinned up, and his best
suit of clothes all smeared over with
grease and dirt, aud than after he had
done everything he could think of TO
get the auto TO start, TO make the start
ling discovery that he was out of gaso-
line oh no Job never owned an auto,
might not hold the record for patience.
o o o
The girl that wears an eighteen inch
| wad of someone else hair on the south
west cornor of her head, and has the
heels OF her shoes showed up under the
middle of her feet so they will look
small, dosent make the best wife.
o o
Human nature is full of idiosyncra-
sizes some of the women are hollerin
| for suffrage and others are fallin' over
themselves tryin' TO get into "hobbbles"
| (hobble skirts.
o o o
have always found it a good plan
to watch the Teller pretty close who
squints up or closes one eye when he is
talkin' to you, that eye don't close for
nothin'
o o o
There is always some fellers waitin'
and ready to get in on the ground floor,
'olc 10 DOlh cNciy hiihuoS cue hS
don't usally find ii out until after it
happens.
The Teller that spends his time argu-
in that there saint no Help, will
wake up one of these days and he
won't need more than a few minutes
to revise his creed there may be nothin'
but He'll in it.
o o o o o
"The mills of God grind Slowly,
But they grind exceeding fine"
o o o
Sand burrs are an abomination.
They are worse than fleas and cause
weeping and crashing of teeth, and
very frequently cuss words of more or
less dynamic force. You wouldn't
think il, but they can crawl up mans
pant leg or woman's hose and skirts
causing more trouble and anxiety than
bugs fieas or red ants. You don't know
when sand burrs get on you but you
realize they are there shortly afterward,
even one healthy burr is an abom-
ination, but when you discover sixty
or seventy TO pick of your pants one
by one, it is WEAKNESS to the flesh of
most diabolical nature. There are
few burrs in Belding, as most every
body can swear TO, and II some kind
botanist will define their good, Uncle