davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
HUMAN NATURE IN WASHINGTON
Bv FRED C.. KELLY.

Senator Root has long found the pa
tronaSe end Of statesmanship q vast
nuisance. Since he came to the Senate
the bulk Of New York Senatorial patron
age has been handled by his colleague
Senator Depew. and the arrangement i:
one for which Root is grateful. Roots
attitude is. logically enough. that when q
man is drawing government pay as a
his time to seeing people who want Job:
and ascertaining In q great many in
stances that the chief qualification Of thu
applicant is his earnest desire to hold the
job that he is seeking. When he was
Secretary Of State. Root was Obliged tc
devots SO much attention to people whr
painted for consular and other appoint
ments that he has never recovered from
his dislike for anything pertaining t.
job dispensaton.
At the beginning Of the Rnot regime In
the State Department Vermont seemed tc
have more men landing consular johs
the exceptional activity Of Senator Proc.
tor. 1t was always matter Of comment
about the State Department when Proctor
didn't drop in early in the day after a
job for some Vermont friend. Then Con.
gress passed a measure placing consular
positions under civil service. and appoint
ments went more according to a candi-
dates standing in the examinations.
Early one morning before Secretary
Root had his mail opened Senator Proc
tor was there to tell him what a nice IT.
tie fellow he had in mind for good jot
some place.
I'm afraid there'n be no chance just
now," remarked Root. who isn't given tc
hemming and having and looked across
country when he has anything to say
You see. all these appointments are nov
under civil service, and. moreover. your
State already has nearly double its quota
so that we must give the other States a
chance to catch up"
Senator Proctor was considerably peeved
Mr. Root" he said. II have been doing
business with this department for mum
Der Of years and had hoped that the
pleasant relations between the State De
partment and myself might continue.
shall indeed be panied If I cannot come
here for a favor occasionally. as hereto
fore. with reasonable assurance that the
favor may be granted
Now listen here came hack Secretary
Root in solemn tones, but with flicker
Of a smile about the corners of his mouth
You wouldn't think OF taking a cocktail
every morning before breakfast. because
it wouldn't be good for you Neither
would it be good for you to take a consul
ship every morning before breakfast"
That ended the interview.
Representative Gilbert NJ. Hitchcock.
who has been elected Democratic Senator
from Nebraska. win have the unique dis
tinction of wearing a Senatorial toga
that once rested on the shoulders Of his
late father. though his fathers bore the
Republican label.
Hitchcock had been so busily occupied
building up his newspaper. the Omaha
Evening World. that he was little known
by the masses when he first entered the
nolitical game as a candidate for Con.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

boat desroysrs subsist and which forms
a part Of tho fuel supply OF larger vessels.
Such depots have been built at Key West.
Charleston. Norfolk. and Narragansett
Bay. and they are required At such ad-
ditional places Al Boston. New York,
San Francisco Bay. Puget Sound. San
Diego. Olongapo. Corregidor. and Pearl
Harbor Sooner or later something In
this direction must be done in the neigh
borhood Of the Panama Canal.
The naval general board has outlined q
comprehensive plan which has been
policy. on the theory, Of which there are
many sagacious advocates. that An ample
stock of coal and Oil Is as essential in the
preparation Of a feet for war as is re-
hood that Congress viii be moved to any
generous impulse in this direction. be-
cause this Is an era Of economy. and
even necessities must 60 by the board.
But. sooner or later. there will have to
be depots for coal in order that the fight
ing ships may be able to maintain their
radius Of action by the prompt replenish-
ment Of an exhausted fuel supply. A
ship with empty coal bunkers is the acme
OF helplessness at sea in time Of war.
and. as the experts point out. might as
well be without projectiles and powder
Any system which will keep the ships
supplied with fuel. or which gives the
ships speedy access to a coal pile. is a
real contribution to the fighting power
Of the command afloat Congress Is now
In possession Of the detailed Information
and can act at its leisure. with knowl-
edge Of the necessity. assuming the re-
sponsibility for whatever delay there may
be in carrying out the designs Of those
responsible for the efficiency OF the ieet
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
Where Was Mr. Churchill5

From the Chicago Evening Post.
1t Is with pain and grief that We read
OF the inability Of the London police to
cope with that faithful bulldog which
guarded 50 zealously the body of its mas
ter. Why should the officers have stood
around so long in utter helplessness? And
why did they summon a physician to
poison the dog? Why was not Winston
Churchill called instead? He would have
done the trick so much moro simply and
dramatically. A few siege guns under his
mastery direction would have battered
down the door. and a vanful Of boa con-
strictors from the Zoo would have stran-
gled the dog to death. Or the armored
train from AIdershot might have butted
the whole house down. The London po-
lice evidently fail to appreciate the Ma
poleonic abilities Of the home secretary.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
Al to German Titles

From the London Chronicle.
I, the matter Of titles. the Germans
show more courage than we do. On
New Years card, which reached London
this week, the sender describes herself as
Frau Observation-Disclosures
torsvitwe. Would any Englishwoman
venture to describe herself as widowof-
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES!
In the matter Of titles. the Germans
friend. he produced q card on which the
sander was entitled "Staatsschuldentil-
euusbureauansgehers descrfp-
tion which she held to be her ,4ne. ~ the
widow OF an ofncial in the national debt
once.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

gress. The opposition circulated a story
that he was a silk stocking. . dude. and
that he wore gloves when the weather
wasn't cold enough for gloves. Many
people believed these things. and Hitch
cock. naturally difhdent had much to
overcome.
He started his camraign IN ono of the
rural counties in his district A native
Of the county whom he had known for
some time did the introducing and en-
deavored to put him in just right.
At the close of the first meeting farm
er called Hitchcock's sponsor aside and
began to ask him questions in a low. con-
fidential tone. like that Of a man who
wants to borrow money till Saturday
night.
How long have you known this fellow
Hitchcock tho man asked.
"Oh. several years." Hitchcocks friend
told him
known him pretty we'll an that time.
have you?'
Yes"
"Seen him often in Omahs-'
Yes: quite frequently"
Does he dress when he's at home just
about like he is now?"
Just about"
"Why. then. he amt no dude!
DANCED il l don't vote for him.
Senator-eIect Hitchcock once hired a
humorist sight unseen" to come and
work on his paper. He had been noticing
for a long time the jokes in one Of the
Chicago papers and had copied them fire.
quently. The author wrote to him and
suggested that he was open for a job
farther west. Tho jokes were SO funny
that Hitchcock thought their exclusive
use in his newspaper would prove valu-
able. so he wrote the man to come on
and so to the mat with humor in Omaha.
Let's go down to the train and meet
my new humorist," said Hitchcock to one
Of his friends the day the paper-and-pen-
Gil comedian was to arrive. They went
A solemn. horse-faced man with thin.
sandy whiskers and a complexion Hike a
college diploma issued twenty years pre-
vious stepped of the train, accompanied
by two forlorn-looking children. II was
the Chicago joker. He spent the rest of
the evening telling Hitchcock and friend
how his wife had died and left him with
the two children and what a struggle he
had been having making his jokes funny
enough to keep the family out Of the poor
house The funny mans tale was so sad
that all three, got to gulping. and Hitch
cocks friend reproaches him to this day
for giving him the most melancholy even
ing Of his life. But the Chicago funnyist
went to work for Hitchcock and kept
Omaha laughing for many months.
Representative Barnhart. Of Indiana
was hurting objurgation at Speaker Can
non in a campaign address last fall.
And now" he went on to say, "if you
want that kind Of Speaker and the sort
of system that is back Of such Speaker.
then don't vote for me-
I'VE WON'T" shouted an Irishman in
the rear OF the hall. and the audience
laughed right boisterously at Barnhart's 5
expense.
Copyright. ISL. By Fred c. Kslly.)
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
VERSE BY MAIN FORCE.

I'm I'D against it, good and hard; l have
to carve some verses out.
Yet here ! am. unhappy bard. with
naught on earth to write about.
But anyhow. a start I've made: I've
done two lines, and this makes
three.
There are some tricks in every trade.
The poet knows few, you see.
Verse One looks fairly spick and span.
and now to stanza Two we pass.
The lines are crude. but they will scan;
my doubts are ceasing to haraSS
or failure now I'm not afraid; in fact,
the end is we'll in view.
For there are tricks in every trade: the
poet even knows few.
Gone Far Enough.
What was that?'
That was SlambanGskis fifth SYM
phony Didn't you like it?''
IT guess so. But I wouldn't want to
hear his sixth symphony"
Something Imminent
"Tbat new boarder is acting in a rather
peculiar manner.
YES" said the lanQld0y DC 10 cASuei
going to pay UP or propose.
Ready for Anything.
-what do you think Of anti-toxin"'
.I don't know much about the crusade.
bur I'll join"
Our Kids.
A laughing lot.
They dance and sing.
For grandma's got
A ding-a-ling.
In the South Seas.
You saw the Sultan decorated your
~You might call it that. He had me
forcibly tattooed."
Passed Around.
ct marked a coin once and put It into
circulation. I got it back N about a
| week.
.It works that way sometimes Jus'
happened to me with a box Of Christmas
cigars"
Nature Could.
"A poor illustration. Nature coulc
never look like that"
unfortunately for your theory. this Is
. photograph.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
Difficult to Enforce.
ths Cleveland Plain Deals

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Rochester Is the first city to take Sc
riously the proposition to legislate against
long hatpins. An ordinance introduced
by one Of the city aldermen was 1t hrst
regarded as a Joke. but while 1t was pend
Ing brother alderman was severely
1abbed and nearly blinded by one Of these
feminine weapons. The jabbed one Wig
orously came to the support OF the meas-
urs. The Rochester chief Of police has
detailed four patrolmen In citizens garh
10 tooE out for long hatptns an1 tn
s11nehs' tho v0aH1gA
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
Means Stale EGEs.

From the New York Evening Post.
Whatever the part which an egg may
have played in the discovery Of this
country, eggs just now are helping the
American people to discover themselves.
The hurried confession Of the wholesale
dealers who found themselves over
stocked, together with drop in the
prices. has Q meaning too plain not to be
understood.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

A New York woman says she first be-
gan to suspect her husbands honesty
when she found him holding five aces
in game Of poker. How suspicious some
women are,
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

A Poughkeepsie man complains that
his mind has been a blank for six weeks.
We know people who have been in that
condition for years and years. yet DO
not complain Of it.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

Three engagements are reported in
Northern Mexico: but they were not more
serious than engagements usually are
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

A lawyer in Pennsylvania left his lady
stenographer a legacy of $4,000. It is not
often that a stenographer leaves her en-
ployer that much.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

Merely looking at girls hat these
days, it is not always easy to tell whether
she is going. coming. or only side-step-
ming
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
H.. rhen Yeti

From TIE Chaxiskm Nsws and Courier.
Richmond claims 70 have had thesnrse
felsctrSc srseE eass IN this ceuntUs ana
linlnaDA - a. -
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

The House of Representatives has be-
come so unruly over the rules that II
sometimes overruleS the Speaker.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

The best way to simplify spelling is for
everybody to stick to the old method
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
s.2rasette Triumph.

From ths Cleveland Plain Dealef.
We note with satisfaction that the
freight rate on mouse traps has been low
cred May We gracefully attribute this
great victory to the sweet influence Of
Miss Pankhurst?
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

Senatorial deadlocks seem to be rather
lively affairs.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
oat ef Deafea Path.

tfum th0 N0W Y0lf Word.
A. Pennsylvania banker whose bank
eaileA committees srdctdA Were thero -
|ananigts q AA1A = - ~ 81
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

Harry Thaw is rapidly nving down his
reputation Al a gadabout
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
Not Up On Proposals.

Apropos Of the diplomatic reception as
the White House. the following oy vieo
President Fairbanks was repeated. Tue
Vice President said It happened q
White House reception. and that young
woman gisEied to another:
..Jack D. proposed 70 me last nieht
'.fIe doeo II aWkWardU, ooeot
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

among Persians Of high station. He has
lived in this country more than eleven
years, and during all Of that time he
has advocated and interpreted American
aims and methods. educational. industrial,
and other, to his people. Particularly. he
is urging the sending Of Persian youth to
this country for their early training.
Mr.. Ali speaks with enthusiasm of
the young Shah. Ahmed-Mtza. and OF
his unique education. While older men
instruct the youthful monarch in the ma
tional traditions, twelve chamberlains ap-
pointed by the new government, all OF
them graduates of European universities
train him in newer branches. Each IN.
structs the Shah in a certain specially
The most novel feature Of this modern
scheme of instruction is the converting
of the Persian court for the present into
a school. The young Shah II surrounded
by twelve youths of about his own age
chosen equally from the people and the
nobility. They study with him under
his special masters at court. With them
he enjoys free association and thus Is
laying the foundation of an understanding
Of his people, which will exclude the
claims Of neither high nor low.
In conclusion. will add that Florence
Khanom, wife Of the Persian charge
d'afIaires. u one Of the most highly edu.
Gated women. even for this enlightened
country. She has spent some time II
Persia. where she has endeared herself
to the women with her descriptions ol
American modern schooling and educa
tion to such an extent that the Persian
government mas decorated her with Z
gold decoration for high learning, and
also bestowed upon her . title OF honor
that OF Moraveh-es Sultaneh. In recogni
ton Of her services 70 Persia a. an au
thor. HkANEun.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
Passed Around.
Nature Could.

"A poor illustration. Nature could
never look like that
unfortunately for your theory. this Is
q photograph"
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20
Plan Scotland Canal.

depth and sixty-five miles in its total
length. that would reduce all existing
routes by 16O miles. Engineers have fg-
ured that the work could be completed
in nine years at an aggregate expendi-
ture approximating 500 100000.
Tho construction of a deep waterway
connecting the North Sea and the Attain
tic Ocean Is not a new one," continued
Mr.. Campbell. Interest has long been
aroused in many quarters, and tho sup
port of the commissioners Of navigation
and of the harbor trustees of seventy
four Of the most prominent centers OF
the northern areas Of the United King
dom have been secured. Owing to tho
facilities and practical economies which
the new channel would offer to foreign
shipping. Denmark. Holland. and even
Germany, through trade and official
bodies. have asserted their intention OF
using it. Such . new sea passage BE-
tween Northern Europe and America. II
is recognized. would avoid the fogs and
tides of the English Channel. 1t would
afford, SO its proponents argue. the safest
and most expeditions route from the east
coast and a part OF Northern Europe
to the west coast as we'll as to ireland
and the United States and Canada
The Washington herald., 1911-01-20

From the st. Louis StAE.
The United States boasts Of 100 0oo. 900
population. including the Philippines and
Porto Rico. But that is a good deal like
the man boasting Of his increased weight
because he has acquired a ten-pound
fum0r
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-02-18
With the ciuarettel

Why it like a painting Of Faurel
And yet merely Pacific paradise
lady who smokes?
fled rejoinder: Certainly mol
you you in receptive
specua
many o society involved
with the psychology OF
smong worthy indulgence is
graceful graceful provided
stages Of her
"eheoot
reclining pued lips in inse
cigarette played
equivalent to stepping your
transgon which accommodated
from region of drawing
occasions they attend wreahed
certain familiar brandon not Milo
tan scented trophy of ObacoOnst supreme
times easily its modest
number OF the
their favorte possibly ase the
"oh girls she cried dsmy stamping upon her own half consumed
stump window heard
strange the lanai"
S ashamed smoke "
the sound OF
strangers
friend into store to
believing want for huband
unafectedy
which into with modern civilization!
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-02-18
VISITOR FROM DENVER
TO PREACH TOMORROW,

There will be a special Sunday ev-
ening service at Central Union Church
tomorrow evening under the auspices
of the Mems League. Rev. Frederick
w. Cakes, d. D., of Denver, will de-
liver the address.
DIR. Cakes, who is stopping at the
Moana Hotel, is a man who has made
for himself a national reputation as
founder and builder of "Oakes Home"
of Denver, in which he has combined
in an ideal manner the benefits of a
hospital with the comforts of home.
Located on high hill at the out
skirts of the city amid spacious
grounds, stands a magnificent array
of buildings, a monument to the six
teen years of arduous toll given to
the project by DR.. Cakes.
At the service on Sunday evening
he will tell the interesting story of
it's growth and present magnificent
work.
The general public is invited to hear
him.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-02-18
THE CITY CHURCHES
CENTRAL UNION CHURCH.

WV mil ONlSN
Rev. Doremus Scudder, D. D., min
lister. Rev. Amos A Ebersole, assist
ant minister.
At the morning service, at IL
o'clock the sermon will be by the as
sistant minister.
The evening service at 1880 p. m.
will be a special Mems League SER
vice. Prof. j. w. Gilmore, president
Of the College of Hawaii, will pre-
side. The address of the evening will
be given by Rev. Frederick W. Cakes,
d. D., of Denver.
The other services of the day as us
ual:
Bible school at $3.50. Mr.. w. A.
Bowen, superintendent.
Mems League Bible class at 10. led
by the assistant minister.
Christian Endeavor meeting at 6:3O
p. m, in charge of the Prayer Meet
ing Committee.
A most cordial invitation is hereby
extended to all who are not connected
with any other church in the city
Strangers and visitors in the city will
be accorded a special welcome. You
/ are invited to make Central Union
your Church home while in the city
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-02-18
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST.

Sabbath, Feb IS, at the Adventist
church, 767 Kinau street, the Sabbath
school will begin at 10 a. m. The les
son will be Acts 5: 12-42; which
shows the powers of earthly prisons
and priestly government in opposition
to religious liberty and the power of
the gospel OF Jesus Christ, who said
IF any man hear my words and be-
lieve not, Judge him not; for came
not to Judge the world, but to save the
world" So the Apostles rejecting the
power of earthly governments in spir
itual things, said I'VE ought to obey
| God rather than men,"
Preaching service will be at II
Him, but if Baal, follow him.
Subject, IF the Lord be God follow
Sunday evening the study of the
wonders of the book of Revelation
will be continued The opening Of
the seven seals will be the topic fol-
the evening. Surely this should be
interesting to all as it breaks the
seals of Heaven and reveals to an
gels, to unfallen worlds, and to sinful
men. the power of the gospel to con
+ quer every foe and give peace to men
even when war deluges the world with
the blood of saints.
81 heard one of the living creatures
saying Come and see."
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-02-18
CHRISTIAN CHURCH.
ng and Alakea streets.

King and Alakea streets
9:45 a. m, Bible school. VIM G.
Hall, superintendent. Lesson, eli
jah's Flight and Return" 1 Kings IS:
41-19, 81. Text, ZIG.
II a. m, morning service Preaching
by DR.. S. L. Livingston, Subject,
Gods Wonderful Way" Communion
following the sermon.
3 p. m, Sloan Mission Bible school.
Eli Snyder, superintendent. The In
ternational Lesson, and Bible recita-
tions.
$50 p. m. Y. p. S. C. e. Leader,
n, F. Farm. Subject, Serenity. How
to Get 1t. What It Accomplishes. -
John IA: 1877; 16: 33.
Tuesday evening, 21st February, BIZ
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-02-18
1858. Services Sunday February

No. 1858 Services Sunday February
10:
Sunday school. 9:45 a. m.
Preaching service, II a. m.
Epworth League, $50 p. m.
Preaching service, 1880 p. m.
Wednesday evening, February %,
prayer meeting, 1880 p. m.
Pastor r. E. Smith will preach at
both the morning and evening SER
vices on Sunday. His subject for the
evenings service will be Life as q
Fascinating Fight" Walter Revell
will lead the Epworth League at $3.50
p. m.
A cordial invitation to attend these
services is extended to all. Strangers
will be especially welcomed.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1911-02-18

BILE Students Glass in Church Study
room. Eli Snyder, leader.
Wednesday evening, End. Prayer
meeting. G. H. futile, leader. Sub
ject: Mission Boards, Missionaries,
and their Families, Converts and
Workers Acts 10: 1-3; Eph. 6: 1920
1880 p. M, evening service. Preach
ing by John L. Hopwood Subject
From Jericho to Jerusalem" Praise
service preceding the preaching.
Come and enjoy our meetings with
us. Strangers and visitors in the city
are always welcome.