davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02

phoio Acid combined" and Potash 1914 por
cent from total OF 1010.
Considerable more than onehalf Of Phos-
phate Of Potash.
Analysis Of Grape-Nuts shows: Potassium
and Phosphorus (Which Join and make Phos-
phate Of Potash) is considerable more than
one'ha1f Of all tho mineral salts in the food.
Dr.. Geo. W. Carey, IN authority on the
constituent elements Of tho body says: "The
gray matter Of the brain IL controlled entirely
by the inorganic cellsalt, Potassium Phos-
phate phosphate Of Potash). This salt unites
creates nerve fluid or the gray matter Of the
brain. OF course. there is q trace Of other
salts and other organic matter in nerve fluid,
but Potassium Phosphate 10 tho chief factor
and has the power within itself to attract, by
its Own law of affinity, all things needed to
manufacture the elixir Of life"
Further on he says: 1.-THE beginning and end
Of the matter Is to supply the lacking principle,
and in molecular form, exactly as nature fur
nishes it in vegetables, fruits and grain. To
supply dedciencies-this Is the only law of
cure"
The natural conclusion IL that II Phosphate
Of Potash Is the needed mineral element in
brain and you use food which does not contain
it, you have brain flag because It's dali loss is
not supplied.
On the contrary, If you eat food known to
be rich in this element, you place before the
life forces that which nature demands for
brain-buildtng.
Mind does not work well on a brain that II
broken down by lack Of nourishment.
A peaceful and evenly poised mind 10 neces-
sary to good digestion.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
LOST FAITH IN White MAN
Eskimo Tested Efficacy Of Telephone
Scheme, and Realized He Had
Been Deceived.

An interesting story is told regard
ing the efforts of an Eskimo to con.
struct telephone line. The Eskimo
came into possession of piece Of
wire of considerable length and never
having seen wire before he asked
Professor Mcmillan of the Peary north
pole expedition what it was and what
1t was for. He was told that the
white man strung it on poles stuck in
the ground and a voice talking to an
instrument at one end could be heard
at the other end. After some search
the next morning the Eskimo was
found to be engaged in telephone con-
struction work of his own. He stuck
some sticks in the ground and hung
his wire on them. He held one end of
the wire in his mouth and talked to
it at the top Of his voice. Then he
ran as fast as he could to the other
end and held the wire in his ear with
the expectation of hearing his own
words repeated.
When he failed to hear any sounds
the expression on his face revealed
his opinion Of his white friend.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
BIRTHDAY GIFT FOR RASTUS
His Day Of Pleasure, But Woe and
TribuIatIon for the Rest
Of the Brood.

Human nature is = queer mixture.
The average man, next II good for
tune for himself. is best pleased to
see i'll fortune befall his friends"
The speaker. George Barr McCutch-
con, was responding to a toast on
Man" at the Athletic club in Chi.
cago. He resumed:
"Once, bicycling in Georgia, heard
q terrible hullabaloo In a cabin. Yells
and shrieks, sobs and groans-it was
evident that half dozen pickanin-
MES were getting properly whaled. l
stopped, and eight pickaninnies came
ruefully from the cabin, rubbing ten
derer parts of their small persons
with the other.
Then out bounded a little chan
with loud, gleeful laughter, and, while
his brothers and sisters wept, he
threw handsprings, cartwheels and
somersaults all over the garden.
The father of the brood, appearing
later, made things clear to me.
"'Yas, sah,' he said, hit wuz Ras-
tus' birfday today, sab, an All hadn't
no cash ter buy him muffin, an hit
made me so mad ter see his Ill brud-
dern an sistern all jes' as gay as he
wuz dat jes' hatchery guv 'em all
a good trouncin' while Rastus looked
on. Yo' see how pleased he is, sab
jes' as pleased as if yo'd guy him A.
cents ter celebrate de day, sah!'"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
Can't Get Away From II

Is it possible to nourish, strengthen and Re-
build the Brain by Food?
Every man who thinks uses up part Of the
brain each day. Why don't it all disappear
and leave an empty skull in say q month Of
brain work7 Because the man rebuilds each
day.
II he builds little less than he destroys,
brain tag and nervous prostration result sure.
II he builds back q little more each day the
brain grows stronger and more capable. That
also is sure. Where does man get tho material
to rebuild bis brain? Is It from air, sky or the
ice Of the Arctic seat When you come to
think about It, the rebuilding material must
be In the food and drink.
That als Is sure.
Are the brain rebuilding materials found in
all food? In good variety but not in suitable
proportion in all
To illustrates: we know bones are made large
~ Of lime and magnesia taken from food:
therefore to make healthy bone structure We
must have food containing these things. We
would hardly feed only sugar and fat to make
healthy bono structure in growing child.
Likewise II We would feed in q ski1lful man
ner to insure getting what tho brain requires
for strength and rebuilding We must first know
some article or articles (there are more than
one) that contain these elements.
Analysis Of brain by an unquestionable
Phosphoric Acid and Potash combined (Phos-
phate Of Potash) 3.91 per cent Of the total,
633 Of al mineral Salts.
This - over oneha1f
y Beamis. another authority, shows "Phos-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
Size Of the Feet,

Paris just now is having a wave of
interest In human feet. Two scien-
lists, Marie and MacAuliffe, recently
advanced the observation that the
sanest type of men had the biggest
feet, while the sanest type of women
had the smallest feet. Which has
started the boulevardiers to scanning
the feet of pedestrians.
Out of 100 normal men these scien-
lists have asserted that only 10 have
small feet, while of 100 insane men
only "a have large feet. These proper
tons for women are almost exactly the
reverse. Out of 100 sane women only
% have large feet, while of 100 insane
women Is have small feet. On the
male side of the proposition the Amer
ican-long having looked upon Lin
coin as one of the sanest, sagest of
American statesmen-probably will
agree with the French scientists.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
1oh;n6%'4Henry
IT Il MAKES A
NOTE |
By GEORGE v. HOBART

NO." I said, i've got a better and
less expensive plan. You know Mr..
Bunch Jefferson thinks he's the best
little society man that ever walked be-
hind white vest. He's got an idea in
his noddle that the social push has
put up his photo on every mantel, and
now It's up to me to cure him"
How could you dit it," asked Con-
rad. while the other willing workers
went after the bug bitters.
We'll. I'll tell you," l answered.
1--WE cooked up a bunch of shine So
ciety advice which is supposed to have
been written by Bunch. I've had 49,
900 cards printed with this phony pat
ter thereon, and when the society la
dies get peep at 1t Bunch will be on
his way to the mines. Bunch has
pulled Off lot of mouldy tricks on me
and now it's my play to chase him to
the woods"
Then I sprung on them this sample
of my campaign literature:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02

how TO remove bones from fish"
Conrad insisted. "Und maybe So
ciety should be glad to learn how to
eat soup through straw. Perhaps
dis card Is boomderang, yes!"
Before could convince Conrad that
my idea. while somewhat cruel, bore
traces Of originality. the Rev. Mr..
Macy arrived to take tea with US and
was greeted cordially by the family.
We were all sitting around the yer.
anda, discussing the outlook and
chatting pleasantly. everybody with
one ear primed for the supper bell.
when Lizzie Joyce, the lrrepressible,
put in an agitated appearance. Once
more the lid trimmed with onions and
spaghetti fell over her left eye and
the grouchy grip kept company with
the freckled parasol.
Il give you my notice. Mem; I'm
leavin' this minute" she said to the
embarrassed Aunt Martha.
whats the matter now. woman.
what's the matter, eh?" asked Uncle
Peter, hungry and irritated.
Before Lizzie could frame a come
back Clara J. stepped in the breach.
whats the matter, Lizzie?" asked
Peaches, soothingly.
"Sure, it's dream l had last night
that came back to me whilst I was
bastin' the chicken" Lizzie answered.
In me dream I was kidnapped, and
they's so much political palaverin'
goin' on around here maybe it'll come
true!"
who'd kidnap you, woman"
sneered Uncle Peter.
well, you never can tell" Lizzie
answered quietly. "They's a lot of
Woody old millionaires hanging
around these days tryin' to get their
money we'll cared for. I'm takin' no
chances"
That was about all for Uncle Peter,
and presently the excitable Lizzie was
led peacefully back to the kitchen by
Clara J.
But Lizzie's dream gave me an idea
that took my appetite away.
Copyright by G. w. Dillingham; Coz
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
kidney TROUBLE
CAUSES LuMBAeo
Remarkable StoryAbout Great Remedy

I cannot refrain from writing to ray
that your Swamp-Root has benefited me
greatly. Last year had a severe attack
Of lumbago. Was bad for long time,
and on seeing your advertisement, de.
ter1nined to give it . trial. did 10 and
in two weeks was cured. gave q bottle
to . poor woman who could scarcely walk.
She came to me in four days to tell mo
she was all right and most thankful.
had another attack last November and
was 20 bad that I could not rise from my
chair without assistance and could hardly
lace up my boots. at once sent for
more Swamp-Root and after taking two
bottles, I am moro than glad that am
well again. My age being seventy-three, I
am the more convinced of tho excellence
Of DR.. Kilmer's Swamp Root.
Yours very truly,
HENRY SEARLE,
14l0 Arch Street. Little Rock, Ark.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
"Boob" Walked AWAY.

The telegraph girl in the Waldorf
hotel was talking over the wire the
other day with a girl friend in the
main Office Of the company. 1t was dur
ing lull in business. The girl in the
hotel told a funny story in Morse, and
man standing few feet from her
desk laughed. The girl noticed his
quiet merriment and spotted him as
an operator. The man used to work q
wire many years ago. The girl con
sidered it rude for him to listen to
the ticking conversation. However,
she was not certain that he was an
operator. She decided to find out
Listen. DEAR" she licked off; there's
a man standing near the desk listen
ing who looks like a boob from Paint
ed Post. II he" But the man made
a hurried getaway.-New York Press.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02

the pocket-book and throw the left
carelessly over the watch and chain.
This delays suspicion.
Rule III.-When leaving Society al.
ways walk backward and trust to luck.
Rule IV.-When the hostess intro
duces you to a lady always inquire
politely what her age is. II she tells
you in small figures raise the eye
brows with a slight doubt. If she
doesn't answer she is no lady.
Rule. V.-When you rise from the
pink tea table to take a smoke never
strike a match on the back Of the
hostess.
Rule VI.--Always drink tea with the
face. To drop 1t in between the neck
tie and the top Of the waist-coat Is
very selfish.
Rule VII.-Never eat fresh-laid pick
les with spoon This is one of the
most pitiful mistakes that a man
could make In Society. Use the
thumb and the little finger, squeezing
the victim slightly until it is still and
motionless. Then bite it without
fear
Rule VIII.-During an argument at
the table with the host never try to
score point by throwing your plate
at him. Always throw the butter. It
spreads wider and lasts longer to get
it of.
Rule 1X-When you have placed
your napkin around your neck just
before dinner never ask for a safety
pin. Stick fork through it and
wade in
Rule X-One Of the cutest ways to
60 after the beans Is with wooden
toothpick. This custom has descend
ed from the inventor of the Chinese
chopsticks, and 1t makes very inter.
esting eating.
Rule XI.-To eat soup through a
straw is a new idea, but only those
who are not in hurry will find much
enjoyment in this plan. The best way
is to get mad at the soup. then get a
piece of bread and soak it.
Rule XI1.-Always at Society we'd
ding be sure to kiss the BRIDE The
best way to kiss her is before the
ceremony, because afterwards the
kisses belong to another gentleman,
possibly her husband.
Rule XIII.-When dinner is over
never ask the hostess what is for
breakfast It is vulgar to be so hun
cry in public.
Rule XIV.-Never use your throat
to remove the bones from q fish. 1t
sounds too unhappy.
Rule XV.-Be careful to wear pale,
white kid gloves at wedding. Kids
are always the national emblem of a
wedding.
The little band of willing workers
howled with delight when l finished
reading, all save Conrad, who said,
earnestly, "Mein lieber Chon, Wy
should you blame such nice ideas on
dis Bunch Chefferson? Society Will
like him better for dis, yes?"
Society won't do thing to him. u
I chuckled.
We'll it Is fine knowledge to know
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
"kickino tho Bucket"

When we speak facetiously Of some
one of whom we have no reverence
employ a phrase that would seem to
be a piece Of latter-day slang, but as
a matter Of fact, it dates back to old
England, when, about the year 1925.
one Bolsover hung himself to a beam
while standing on the bottom of a
bucket and then kicked the bucket
away. Although at first used only in
cases Of suicide, 1t has been applied
in the course Of years to any death
without distinction.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
SETTING A HIGH STANDARD
In Perfect Faith, Without
lrreverence.

All things are relative, and to tho
child, gazing at life and its wonders
with eyes as yet undimmed by So
phistication or sorrow, nothing is i'm.
possible, nothing unspeakable. moth.
ing too sacred to be discussed or too
difficult to be attempted. Not irrev.
erence, nor impertinencc, but inno-
cence prompts such speeches as that
recorded of the child of q popular
journalist by his devoted paternal
grandmother.
"Grandma," said the little boy de-
lightedly addressing her, do you
know what's going to happen? Papa
says that If we're real, real good. he'll
take us to the circus!"
That's nice," smiled the young
hearted adult between whom and the
eager youngling no hint Of age sepa'
ration mars perfect comradeship.
"How good do we have to be-"
The embryo man, after q moment of
silent consideration: "Oh. as good as
God. I guess!"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
Amb5ouous.

Obliging Shopman Ito lady who has
purchased pound of butter)-Shall
send it for you, madam?
Lady-No, thank you. 1t won't be
too heavy for me.
Obliging Shopman-Oh, no, madam.
I'll make it as light as I possibly
can.-Punch.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
Made Il Necessary.

Made It Necessary.
Horace Greeley invented the type.
writer"
"Where did you get that idea?"
well, that isn't exactly what l
mean, but his handwriting was prob
ably more responsible for it than any
other one thing"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02

against Peter Grant for mayor OF
Ruraldene, had challenged Uncle Pc
ter to joint debate. The news OF 1t
spread like wildflre, and 1t soon be-
came patent that whoever won the
rag-chewing contest would also win
the election.
Every morning Uncle Peter would
lock himself up in his library and
prepare verbal gunshot with which to
pepper Uncle William when the night
Of nights arrived.
OF course, Uncle William played the
same cards and spent hours daily IN
his word factory turning out tart re-
marks with which to sting Uncle
Peter
The excitement grew apace, and
everybody took sides, from the infant
In arms up to the Octogenarian.
One morning I witnessed meeting
between our German grocer's boy
with the Grant button pinned to his
calico shirt and the red-headed kid
who had pinched Uncle Peters first
speech, the latter with the Gray rib
ron tied around his suspender.
What are you wearin' that button
for? You amt got no VOTE" sneered
Reddy.
"Oh! don't know answered
Dutchy, I'm carryin' just about as
much steam as you are. Pipe the rag
on the braces! What is it, the Rus
sian flag?"
You seem to think old Peter Grant
is all the eggs, don't you?" said Reddy.
well, he amt the only pie on the
counter-the flies can get to him, all
right"
rs that sol" answered Dutchy;
you think you're pretty warm wealth
er, don't you?"
"Oh, maybe, but amt no gas-stove
like you!'
well, l don't see you dom no
home cookin'!"
That's because your lamps Is
smoky You want to get somebody to
rub water on you with a hose!"
"Uh! you amt the whole church
you can be crowded." said Dutchy.
You have a swell bunch of come
backs. haven't you?" Reddy snapped.
You mustve been listenin' tosa ball
camel"
II don't see your license to look
wise," the other answered. where's
the medal you got for keepin' out Of
the foolish house?"
Pm so hot Id melt 1t; I've got on
fireproof underclothes.'
"What's the matter with water
proof?"
Don't let that put you of the car.
I'm still able to read the news to you,
all right"
"Oh, perhaps!"
whats the matter; amt you got
no more bum wheezes to pull?"
"Oh, frequently! You amt Uganda
you can be reached in few days."
"Mebbe, but you amt the only low
collar In the laundry-you can be
turned down."
"Sometimes-but not by the Chink
in the lookout"
Then they went at it, hammer and
tongs, and it took Hank about five
minutes to separate them.
An hour or so later, as l sat on the
veranda trying to figure out some way
to finish the campaign in blaze of
Grant glory, overheard old Barney
Doolin, our stableman, airing his po-
ltical views for Hank the gardeners
benefit.
THE daysire for political PRAYER
ment is so shtrong in some min," Bar
ney was saying. that they can't kape
shtill unless they's runnin' for Office"
"Oh, much better!" answered Hank;
the attakt only lasted two days with
Genevive, but the second youngest is
ailin' with her teeth" Hank was
stone deaf.
Supremacy unconscious OF this irrel-
evant interruption, Barney gazed away
over the meadows and proceeded with
his soliloquy:
Take that old felly, William Gray"
he said, reflectively; "sure he thinks
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02

The author hopes that his many
friends In society will avail them
selves of this opportunity to become
thoroughly conversant with the prop
er rules of department as set down
hereWith-B. Jefferson
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
Difficult to Answer.

Difficult to Answer.
Explaining the happenings Of the
sixth day of the creation, Miss Fran.
ces Hartz read to her Sabbath school
class: And the Lord God formed man
out of the dust of the ground"
WELL" spoke up one kid, that's
nothin' new. Did he put him in the
gun to dry, the way We do our mud
pies?"
Miss Hartz discreetly slurred the
answer and proceeded with her lss4
son.-Cleveland Leader.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
MOSQUITO CAUSE OF MALARIA
Doctors Remain Immune, While A.
PENDANTS Who Slept Outside
Contract Disease.

In the history Of research are many
romances. OF the discovery that
malaria was caused by mosquitoes, 1t
is related how Doctor Low and Doc
tor Sambon lived in the malarious
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
Letter -
Dr.. KllAer 4 c..
An8haatsn, n. 7.

Prove What Swamp.Root VIII Do For You
Send to DR.. Kilmer l. Co., Bingham
ton, N. Y, for sample bottle. It will
convince anyone. You will also receive
a booklet of valuable information, telling
all about the kidneys and bladder. When
writing, be sure and mention this paper.
For sale at all drug stores. Price fifty
cents and one-dollar.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
Some Antique MUGS.

The college collector of antiques
stopped off at Bacon Ridge.
Good day, sir" he said, addressing
the postmaster. II am collecting old
fashioned articles and would like to
know if could find anything like that
in this hamlet. Say antique mugs, for
instance"
Uncle Jason stroked his chin whis-
kers.
antique mugs! BY HEX, I know the
very place where thar be two of them
now"
"You do? Here's a good cigar Now
where can I find there antique mugs?"
why, down on Main street, in HI
ram Spruceby's shop. Grandad Wheat
ley and Pap Simmons are in there
getting shaved, and by hex, when it
comes to antique mugs, reckon
thars' be the oldest in the country,
stranger
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02

Some parents are long while in
finding out that money in 4 boys
pocket will do him little good, unless
he also has brains in his head.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
To the Point.

Over in Hoboken in shop frequent
ed by Germans, hangs sign framed in
mournful black. reading thus:
I'VE regret to Inform cur honored
customers that our good and generous
friend, Mr.. Credit, expired today. He
was a noble soul, always willing and
helpful, but has been failing for some
time. May he rest in peace. PAY
CASH."
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02

what Are You Wearin' That Button
for? You Amt Got No Vote"
he ought to be a STATESMAN just be-
cause he have money enough in his
overalls to pay his fare to Washing
ton"
l don't know just where Barney's
political dream finally landed him, for
at this moment a delegation of ward
workers waited upon me, so I had to
go for the checkbook and have a
coughing spell.
Dis man, Bunch Chefferson, Is
working, working, working to remove
der society wote," Conrad Puffenlotz,
my lieutenant in the fourth ward, in:
formed me-
I've been wise to that gag for some
time, Conrad" I answered.
Should we gift a pink tea or some
ding like lawn feet or a monkey din.
ner to get society on our side?" in
ouired Conrad earnestly.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
The Riddle.

The Sphinx propounded a puzzle.
why does it always rain the day
you move?" she asked.
Herewith the ancients gave it I'D.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
Not Particular.

Chew and smoke untaxed tobacco. cheap and
undoped. Meriwether Edwards. Clarksville, Tenn.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02
IN THE GOOD OLD SUMMER TIME.

Many time this summer you're 60
ing to be just about done out by the
heat-hot, and SO thirsty it just seems
nothing could quench it. When such
moments arrive or when you just
want delicious, palate tickling drink
step into the first place you can find
where they sell COCA-COLA. It's de-
licious, refreshing and completely
thirst-quenching. At soda-fountains or
carbonated in bottles-5c everywhere.
Send to the COCA-COLA CO., Atlanta,
Ca, for their free booklet "The Truth
About COCA-COLA." Tells what
COCA-COLA is and why it is so deli-
cious, cooling and wholesome.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02

It's easy to see the blessings of
poverty through the eyes of q mil.
lionaire.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-06-02

formulating any progress in your
suit for Miss Millyun's hand?
Dick-Oh, yes.
Tom-Why, I heard her father kick
cd you out every time you called.
Dick-Yes; but he doesn't kick me
as hard as he used to.