davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
WOES oE AN EDITOR.

WOES OF. AN ED1IOR. "A man who owns 80 acres of land and has brains enough to till it, makes the | lot of country newspaper men look like l the last sad remrants If a Dutch lunch. The farmer has the best Of it all around. lie is as independent as an express com pany. He doesn't have to write soulful obituary over some peak-headed bloke who kept on display an exhibit of cut plug proianfty that would make the efforts of | a steamboat mate sound like a meeting of the Epworth league. He doesn't have to go into raptures over the beauty of | an open-faced bride with a cast of coun- tenaEce that would blow out the gas. The
 farmer isn't required to lie until his back teeth fall out about the sterling man hood of groom with eats like a cauli- flower plant and the brain power of a shoat. He doesn't have to run piano contest for the most beautiful young lady In the community, make everybody sore about the winner, and then print a 75- cent haif-tone of the beauty that looks like tintype of grandma at the age of 13. There is nothing in the farmers
 curriculum that oblges him to paint the local soprano as a heaven-sent songster. He isn't called upon to paint the vir- tues of a prominent citizen who earned his money by collecting notes with a
 draw shave. The farmer can express his opinion of the new Methodist preacher in a firm and loud voice. on the four cor
 
 press the view that the preacher ought to be chasing a currycomb over a milch cow instead of filling large room with thin ozone and transformation, he will lose subscribers so fast that he won't have the circulation of cold storage egg. The farmer doesn't have to impress chaste kiss on the moist nose of his foreman in order to keep him from get ting drunk on press day, neither does he have to get somebody to go on his note wher the devil carelessly feeds a pair of pipe tongs through the cylinder press or the rats chew off the lining of new set of rollers. If the editor takes two days off in fishing his patrons call him a loafer and take their job work to the other office If he works until he is
 bowed over like fat man with cramps people say he is too stingy to hire extra
 help. If he contributes s2 to the Woman's Christian Temperance union and wears a
 boiled shirt on Sunday the banks call in
 his note; and if he refuses to dig up for the Woman's Relief corps supper he is
 branded as miser and avoided as if he
 had the hives. ."-Wilson County Citizen.
 MODELLED.
 She wore a hobble skirt for fair, But what was worse than that, She couldn't jump upon a chair
 When someone hollered "Rati" PAITI, COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
FOND AFFECTION.

When Pm with you" a poet sang,
 'I can't be blue. Of earthly bliss the perfect type, Pale Sorrows talons cease to gripe,
 When I'm with you.' Twas thus he warbled of his pipe,
 A comrade true.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
oIrEsTJONs

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
 Was there ever Rallies or Arsene I.lpin in real life?'' asks a Pacific coast dramatic critic Sonny is the Senate committee on finance without chair man?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

Andrew Carnegie boasts that he made 4s milljonaires and Representative Crum- pat ker says he made 42 congressman. It is difficult at present to say which one injured the world the more.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
THE CHATTER.

Ofttimes a man whose still recurring
 thought Is, Whats, just now, the safest way
 to steal?" Pretends that he is one who can't be
 bought, "A lidless watcher of the public veal"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

Hoke Smiths conspirators loaded up with 10000 boil weevils refuse to ma- terialize. Hbernated boil weevils are not easily accumulated
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

The Sheehan- Depew contest at Albany is enough to prove the wisdom of electins United States senators by direct vote
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
NOTHING LIKE TRYING

Alabama now proposes to try local op- tion in place of statewide prohibition. If the state keeps on 1t may hope some day to find something that will be reas- onably satisfactory.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

Illinois almost weeps when she thinks that Lee O'Neal Browne is sitting where Abraham Lincoln once sat as member of the legislature.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

The loss by fire of England's ancient coronation coach of gold and glass will not be felt in an age of derby hats and taxicabs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

The Mexican insurrectos have captured handcar, and this may become the neuc,us of a forward movement
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

Jack London has gone to the front and the alleged war between the federals and insurrectos can now proceed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
MIsuNpERsTooD.

There goes a woman who can beat any other woman on the stage dying"
 q thought her hair looked unnaturally black
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
SENT THE WRONG ONE.

He bought his love valentine, A very rare conceit; The envelopes got mixed and now She snubs him on the street.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

The New York insane asylums contain 32o00 persons, and Banker Robin could not secure a berth in them
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

Arizonas constitution suits her and that is the reason why she should be per- mitted to have it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

The Elberta peach crop and the Alberta wheat crop are friendly rivals, and both are full of promise this year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

Bernhardt is coming back when the Panama canal is completed. There is no thought of retirement in her breast.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

Houston boasts its mild winters. Scarce ly man in it has worn an overcoat seven times this winter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
JUST HAD TO GO.

"Wiggins went out to Kansas, but didn't stay there long"
 Didn't he like the state?''
 "Ch, yes; very much indeed" Then what made him leave?' "A cyclone blew him away"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
STRONG FOR PROGRESS.

There goes one Of our pioneers. Helped to build the town, eh?' No. He was the first man in town to own an automobile"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
FAULT-FINDERS.

r 'It takes a cracker box philosopher to tell you how the country ought to be run"
 "Yes. And a suffragette to pick flaws in the Apollo Belvedere."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

Reciprocity has gained ground ever since Speaker Cannon came out against it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

President Taft will take a hand at the recall if the Senate pigeonholes reel procty.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

The Lincoln state is also, alaA tn jackpot state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

While the revolution lasts the bull fight will not be considered the national sport of Mexico.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

The packers have hired 13 lawyers To aid them in maintaining prices of their products.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
OUT OF CHARACTER

Flow was the melodrama?" "Oh, thrilling enough at times, but the illusion was destroyed" How so?"
 "The villain sang comic songs between the acts'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
LACKS FAITH.

Pa. what is a cynic?'
 "A cynic, my son. is person who never believes the compliments he reads on a tombstone"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
WE'VE BEEN THERE

Although it has no great renown, Its designation's rather catchy; In Texas there's little town Held tight!-whose name is Waxa-
 hachie.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
LARGE PROFITS

I'd like to be a publisher And own a magazine. I could afford an auto then And lots of gasoline.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

NO Wild demand is springing up for the Congressional Record at s1 a year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
| BRAVE MAN

A BRAVE MAN. / Collector Loeb
 Has wondrous nerve; From duty's path
 He will not swerve. He sends smart danes Right off to jail, For smuggling, and They can't get bail.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

Freak legislators and freak hills ara found in every state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
BIT NEVER HERE.

BUT NEVER HERE. Down souf in dear ol' Alabam' Are names that have an odd sound, too, sah; We're willing, quite, to give the pam To quaint and queer old Tuscaloosa.
 Youngstown Telegram.
 HERE ONCE. Thou art city fair to see, Although thy moniclSer Is gawky. write these fervid lines to thee, c, cheerful, peerful old Milwaukee
 Milwaukee Sentinel. WE COULD LOVE THIS TOWN. When all the wide world wears a frown, And all the worlds glad songs sound croupy, Our heart longs for that Georgy town Some glad old rounder named Ohoopee.
 Houston Post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

The backbone of winter is not h1 e
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16
DEGRADERs OF THE sT.cn

It was safe and sane St. yalentine's Day at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

MODELLED. She wore a hobble skirt for fair, But what was worse than that She couldn't jump upon a chair When someone hollered "Rati"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-16

be broken.
Norwich bulletin., 1911-03-13
Public Utilities Outlook.

The Waterbury American, though never unfriendly to proper regulation of Connecticut's public service corpora tfons, is moved to speculate:
 We wonder if the appointment of such an energetic and forceful man as J. H. Hale on the railroad oommis- sion will not put stun enough into that body so@ that the utihties commission and the commer0e court will be allow e1 t. kill each other of1 on the plea that we don't nesd either now. There are signs of such an outcome.
 There is no sign in what MT. Mellen said at Hartford yesterday of such an outcome. He has become reconciled to tue idea of a court of commerce, obwi- oHsiy locking upon 1t as the better of tae evils which the present legislature is surely to prescribe for the public service corporations. Yet perhaps Mir. Me1len who has never expressed any commission as 1t has been, could be persuaded that commission of the sort now appointed would answer all desirable purposes.
 But if the American sees signs of the state in general being satisfied with such an outcome, it sees what the rest of Us fail to see. As far as the Regis ter Is concerned, it believes that two years more of things as they are, or rather as they promise to be with a 'Halefed' railroad commission. might pc considerably less than a calamity. There are certain people, however. who cease not day nor night to cry out for public utilities commission, New York style, and 1t will go hard with the iee1slature but they get what they want. As for the rank and file of the citizens. they may be persuaded that they want it, too. at least until they nave tried it.-New Haven Register.
Norwich bulletin., 1911-03-13
WHO THEY RGpnno1(prfrn'

TX II. s' Of the Hsi6Gerert TSis.' gram tells . very ln&oroqtinr stery of . meeting beforo tho 1llh TIT GS1ne commission at HartxGrd 1ast weSk. ir which dozen ladi6o paxticipated. and Tif they were not expected they wers respected s .t:
 Following is her interestiur Aescxlp- tion of the heartne:
 "As the mon indfvidually took tAeir turn to present their arEuments Tor and against the bills under conotdSra- tion. one was reminded of tho days in the little red schoofhcuse when She flower of the country side declairned on visiting days. Some even forrot their prepared speeches and had to resort to their notes, and others pro- claimed in stentorian tones witch were set to the Charge of the Light Brie- ade.'
 Tt was the regular thing Tor each to start with the form I represent' and then would follow the name and number of their constituency Some had the gunners of town with them and others of a club, theso usually speaking for the present law did SO upon request of their constituents, the voters, but most of the speakers on this side were expert bird students. But no matter what the society or the constituency back Of the speaker, the whole of them put together were beat a mile' by a little woman who said she was speaking for s00,o00 wo- men! She was met with the first ap- plause of the afternoon and congratu- lated by many. She was pretty woman with beautiful white haif and a fascinating personality. Inc whole scene changed. The men, from idle indifference, sat up and pulled them, selves together. Long since their ci- gars had been removed in d1eorence to the presence of the ladies; . new vital force seemed to have como into that administrative chamber. And when this speaker was followed by another of her own sex who told them plainly they were wasting time and had been right along, they were still thing happened and the man who might be oslsrized by his political con- temporaries without seeming loss be- gan his usual badgering this woman met him on his own ground and drove him into a hole, to the delight of all. A couple of legislators were overheard today, she retorted, when he began the old gag, saying We have been here for ten weeks and have not done thing."' The point was SO well taken that the men had te laugh at their own expense.
 'The experience was great fun for the ladies: but, we ask, would 1t have been so agreeable if these women had been vOters?"
 Those who think matters would be tive in public affairs may be able to take new cue from the above.
Norwich bulletin., 1911-03-13
| Do Not Understand.

MT. Editor: Game of all kinds is growing scarce, and the general senti- ment is that something must be done to prevent 1t becoming extinct.
 Our Legislature passes laws to ac-. complish that end. What are those laws? The breeding season has arr rived for all kinds of game, and for the next few months the law forbids killing the same. As tine farmer sees the f1oc2xs of birds, the partridge drum ming, quail whistling, squirrel playing, is pleased with the thought, game Is increasing and the attractions Of the farm grow stronger. The game has grown up now.
 The next move on the part of the state is to grant a license, mostly to those who come from cities, villages that do not own a foot of land, to go on the land of others, with their gun that will shoot a dozen times a minute, with their dog that has been trained for this purpose, and shoot every ytlfng he can find that is worth the powder and shot 1t takes to kill it. If the bars are up and in the way, leave them down. cut the wire fence, if that hedges his way.
 Hunters will vary likely want to smoke, and through care1essness the woods are set on fire. Another year
Norwich bulletin., 1911-03-13
AN EASY AND HARMLESS WA1|
 TO DARkEN THE HAIR.

Who does not know of the value of sage and sulphur for keeping the hair dark, soft, glossy and in good condition As matter of fact, sulphur is natural element of hair, and a deficiency of t in the hair is held by many scalp spe- eialists to be connected with loss of color and vitality of the hair. Unques- tionably, there is no better remedy toe hair and scalp troubles, especially prema- ture grayness, than sage and sulphur, if properly prepared. The Wyeth Chemical Company, "A C0rtlandt St., New York City, put up an ideal preparation of this kind, called Wyeth,s Sage and Sulphur. It is sold by all leading druggists for 60c. and $1.00 . bottle, or is sent direct 6y tho manufacturers upon receipt of prica.
 For sale and recommended by Lee z osgond :.
Norwich bulletin., 1911-03-13
For St. Patrick's Day.

As wall have an Easter breakfast without eggs as St Patrfclss days feast without potatoes. The ingenious hostess wilt see to it that her praties carry out the scheme of decoration. If ste has no ideas of her own these may appeal to her:
 Mold potato croquettes in the shape of a shillalah with knobby end, serve in 8 bed of green peas and stick in cash one a tiny bunch of shamrock with stems wrapped in paraffin paper.
 Decorate the plain roasted potato for the children's lunch with green high hats and stick in cloves for eyes and bit of celery for nose and mouth.
 Get new earthenware shamrock pans. the biz size or individual, scrub them au gratin or plain scallcped ones. Serve on mat of green paper with a green bow tied on the handle. Make mold of mashed potatoes, in tho top stick an Irish flag and around the base put ring of spinach dec orated with slices of hard boiled egg.
 Cut potatoes in shamrock shape and fry in deep lard as one would French fried ones. Serve in an oblong dish quite deep and tied with a frill of green paper.
 Plain stewed potatoes can be made more appetizing if plenty of chopped parsley and a few capers are mixed through it. They can be served as an individual dish in the hollowed shells of cucumbers.
 These shells can also be used for potato Q,Brien, which are slices of po- tato fried with equal amount of shred- ded green peppers.
 Serve potato cakes on q flat platter with a border of chopped white of egg garnished with chopped olives around each one. Pass with a tomato server so the eggs and potatoes can be lifted together.
Norwich bulletin., 1911-03-13
WET AND DRY IN NEW ENGLAND

The ~wsts" and "drys' in New Eng lanA appear to have fought each other 10 . standstill, and the battle over the 1iquor traf1c year by year finds little d1Horencs in the results.
 Maine. which has so long stood for prohibition, is about to have the ques- fion resubmitted to the people, and if local option is thu result, there is no doubt the majority of the towns will % dry" The license communities in New Engiand are the cities. usually.
 Nassachussfts has just voted on this question in the town elections, and eha changes were not enough to com ment upon
 New Hampshire last week also voted on the liquor question. and the results 1hrouGhout the state. says the Barre Times. indicate that the proportion between license and no-1icense com snunfties has been maintained and that from now on as long as the local op- tion regime shall stand, the results win not materially differ. For six ysars the average of 29 and fraction of license csmmunities has been main tnined, and the number this year will fun perhaps . trifle under that aver aea when the missing towns are heard from and West Rutland shall have been given time in which to hold 2 1egal election
 Ar . ruls. the larger communities of Vermont arc the ones to vote in favor of the licensed saloons. Now and then there are election freaks in which small and remote towns cast a majority of ballots in favor of the Affirmative on the question whether nicnunen anall be granted and ofteu- times the 'Yes'' vote is not followed by che granting of licenses because no ons cares to enter upon the business pf seiling liquor. either from personal nogup1as or from . feeling that the ouDiness would not pay. Very likely uovernI of the small communities which voted Yes" win not have sa- 1o0ns because there is no call for
Norwich bulletin., 1911-03-13
THE CITY BEAUTIFUL.

IL is not possible for "the City Beau eifur' to become a hackneyed theme, bat tf takes more than words to cre- nfe it.
 There are three nearby cities that are moving along beautiful" lines Che city of Providence, in the plant -4ng of trees; the oity of New London In <moving to have more inviting Uaved streets. and New Haven to in- &EreaEe It's shade trees in order to pre- Nerve its sobrfquet of 1.-The Elm City,
 An offer of 2o.ooo trees for planting on Arbor day by the school children of New Haven has been made by Wal Yer E. Malley. a merchant of that city as c step towards beauAifying the city
 During the past few years" says e <dsspatch. the large eims which have been one of the natural glories of New ufnGen. have been dying fast, due tc 1mpoverishment of the soil and ths effect of electricity and gas The school board has tentatively accepted 8r. Aoalley's ofYer and will work out DInns for systematic planting of thu 1reea"
 Twenty thousand trees are nearly 1npomprehensibls to the average mind and what a change they will make ir khe appearancs Of that city in twenty zen1u, and what a monument they vii rbo to the donor.
 SeEwich has lest much of it's arbor. -ea1 beauty in the past quarter of 6 f. century, and unless moro attention il txiven Co replacing the shade trees which zrs constsntly perishing. it vii nse its prestige for natural beauty and uummer attract1veness.
Norwich bulletin., 1911-03-13

pain, my nerves are stronger ana can do my own work. Lydia B. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound cured mo after everything else had failed, and rec ommend it to other suffering women. :" MRS. WM. SEALS, 606 ". Howard St., Creston, Iowa.
 Thousands of unsolicited and genu- inc testimonials like the above prove the efficiency of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, which is made exclusively from roots and herbs.
 Women. who suffer from those dis tressing ills should not lose sight of these facts or doubt the ability of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to restore their health.
 If you want special advice write to Mrs. Pinkham, at Lynns Mass. She will treat your letter as strictly confidential. For 4O years she has been helping sick women in this way, free of charge. Don't hesitate write at once.
Norwich bulletin., 1911-03-13
WHAT MAY BE DONE WITH LEFT.
 OVERS.

It is frequently puzzsing to the housekeeper to know how to use up the bits of eatables left over from meal to meal. There is usually not enough left of any one thing for a dish, and what can she do with them ?
 Take, for instance, cold vegetables. If they have been prepared with a white sauce.-eorn, beans, peas or what not-they may be dumped all to- gether in g colander and washed. With a bit of lettuce and French dressing these can be made into tasty salads with or without nuts in addi- tion.
 If there is a bit of a1am left and cheese and few slices of stale bread
 some hot ham sandwiches can be made. Mince the ham, mix with grated cheese, spread on one slice of bread, cover with another, cut in two and brown on each side in hot butter.
 Serve hot.
 Leftover corn will turn into many good things. Corn oysters are made
 eggs and adding two cups of corn. Fold in the beaten egg whites and two tablespoons flour. Season, and drop
 by spoonfuls into hot fat in skillet.
 If there is cup of cold peas left,
 add small slice o1 onion and two
 cups of water and simmer until peas can be mashed easily. Season, add
 two cups milk and little thickendng. Let boil up once. strain through col ander. repeat and serve
 A cupful of cooked tomato can be
 used in various ways. For soup, heat
 with a couple of slices of onion, pars- ley. salt and pepper and bring to a boil. Put in q piece of baking soda the size of a large yea and let thds boil up also, stirring we'll. Have ready Q quart of milk, scalded, with a tablespoonful of butter, rubbed smooth with as much flour, and pour the tomato through strainer into this; let it cool for a moment and serve hot The soda prevents the milk from csardling.
 Cold string beans on lettuce, with either French dressing or mayonnaise make ono of the best salads. Cauli- flower fs good in either way, too. Cold cooked beets may be chopped. put on lettuce and mAyonnaise added. Cold minced onion added with cup o1 naayennaise, or boiled dressing, and this serwed as a sa1ad also. Tomatoes and cern, when both are left over, can be put in layers in a buttered dish, seasoned well and baked | with crumbs and butter on top. Chicken shortcaks is a most palat-
 able way to serve remnants of chick en. Free 1t from skin and bones and cut into small pieces. Put on to heal with enough gravy to make it quite
 moist. Take . short biscuit dough and roll into a cake an inch thick. Bake in quick oven for Is to 20 minutes Then open it and spread hot chicken stew over the lower half. Replace up- per half and pour over the whole a generous amount of gravy.
 Nice fish cakes and croquettes may be made of almost any>kind of cold fish.