davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-09
A WORD WITH WOMEN.
Valuable Advice for Colfax
Readers.

Many a woman endures with noble
patience the daily misery of back
ache, pains about the hips. blue
nervous spells, dizziness and urinary
disorders. hopeless of relief because
she doesn't know what is the mat
ter
1t is not true that every pain in
the back. or hips is trouble peculiar
to the SEX When the kidneys get
congested and infiamed, there are
many such aches and pains and the
whole body suffers.
You can tell 1t Is kidney trouble n
the secretions are dark cOlored. con-
tain sediment; the passages are too
frequent or scanty. Then help the
weakened kidneys. They can't get
well alone.
Doan's Kidney Pills have brought
sound backs and new life and
strength to thousands OF suffering
women. They are endorsed right in
this locality. Read this woman's
convincing statement:
Mrs. NJ. V Flynn. Bringhurst Ave.
Alexandria, La, says: II have TAX
EN- Doan's Kidney Pills for pain and
weakness 9fid my back. together
with ottlereymptomso of kidney com
pialnt ana l have never failed to get
relief. l have recommended this
remedy to great many people and
all who have, used 1t on my advice
have been benefited"
For sale by all dealers. Price SOC.
Foster-Nilburn Co.. Buffalo. N. ".
sole agents Tor the United States.
Remember the name-Doan's-
take no other.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-09
Continued next week. J

For bowel complaints in children al
ways give Chamberlains Collie. Cholera
and Dlarrhoea Remedy and castor oil.
1t is certain to effect cure aud when
reduced with water and sweetened is
pleasant 10 take. No physician can
prescribe better remedy. For sale by
all dealers
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-09
A Dreadful Sight

to III j Barnum. of Freeyilie, n Y, was
the fever sore that had plagued his lie
for yeurs in spite Of many remedies he
tried. At last he used Bucklen's Arni-
ca Salve and wrote: "it has entirely
healed with scorcely scar left" Heals
burns, boils. eczema, cuts, bruises.
swellings, corns and piles like magic.
Only 25c at all druggists.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-09

Diarrhoea is always more or less prev
alent during September. Be prepared
for it. Chsmberlain's Collie. Cholera
and Diorrhoea Remedy 10 prompt and
effectusl. 1t can always be depended
upon and is pleasant to take. For sale
by all dealers.i
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-09

Major Williams spoke, they resort
to bowling and hurting pebbles,
and although Williams is very ap-
preciative. he thought the audience
was too enthusiastic when they
sent him fresh volley of brick
bats, old shoes, lemons, antique
eggs, etc.
The train that carried the dis
tinguished party was a special,
but the ever gracious Williams
permitted number of the COM
mon rabble to occupy space in the
same train, and even in the same
car, but it is needless to mention
that they were glad enough to
move out when Williams began
his continued and emphatic noe
turnal nasal serenade from the
sacred precincts of his bunk.
At the request of the citizens
of Spartenburg, S. c., our special
stopped few minutes, and the
good people were entertained by
Major Williams with few anti
quated jokes, but which took per-
fectly with the South Carolina
hill-billies.
Major Williams on the way de-
cided that he would have the pleas
ant experience of eating break
fast in Alabama, dinner in Geor-
gia, and supper in South Carolina.
These meals were very elaborate,
as the Major intended to fly to
the limit, and had the dough to
burn. He made several faces at
the menu card, and on each occa-
sion treated himself to a decent
competency of hog fat. and an in
numerability of Boston baked
beans. 1t is impossible to express
in words the look of infinite pain
and disappointment that came
over the iron bound physiognomy
of the Major when the waiter in
fol med him that he was now pass
ing through the native land of
Prohibition, and that alcoholic
wet goods could not be obtained
until after they had crossed the
Potomac, which would not be I'M
til the following day. Alas and
alack! What a horrible situation.
Williams must wait whole day
without anything stronger than
iced tea. He looked into his grip
which contained a shirt and an
extra collar and bottle. The
bottle once contained the luscious
nectar that Jupiter sips Tin other
words Sazarac) but now, alas, il
was bereft of its invigorating and
contents. Williams
refused to become reconciled to |
the condition of things, and retir- |
ed to his bunk without saying his
He was SO mad that he |
could not extricate the socks from |
his prodigious feet. These socks |
were of bright green hue, and |
when he protruded his feet through |
the car window they admirably |
served as signals, the green lamps |
usually employed on the occasion |
having been unayoidably left be-
hind.
1t was Monday morning, at the
irst peep of dawn, that the speci-
II rolled into the city of Washing
on, and then the trouble began.
was still mad, and the
irst thing he did was to knock
Town coon policeman who hap
oened to be in the Union station
when Williams and Brennan step
bed from the train. Like wildfire
he news was flashed all over the
'ity. The President was aroused
rom his sleep and was all excite
nent, and when be learned that
lis friend aud adviser had Will
Jams in hand, he became assured
hat the nation was safe.
Continued next week.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-09
SIS. 90 Reward.

$25. 90 reward will be paid for proof
sufficient to convict party or parties
cutting timber ON Bynum Estate.
Late trespass on Spanish Grant. Sec
ton No. 81. tp6n .r2w
S. s. KEENER.
apro-6mo Monroe. La.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-09

5 or 6 doses $685. will cure any
case of chills and fever. Price Doc.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
See the Cafel

0CC, lu0 Gale!
Yes, gala scene it is with its
brilliant lights and rich furnishings
and fashionable women and port1y
men,"
DO you know why the men and
women come to the cafe?"
II can see we'll what they are doing
They are eating and drinking"
DO you know why they are eating
and drinking?'
II suppose it is because they are
hungry and thirsty"
1T is natural mistake, but such is
not the case"
do you, then, o Sage, tell me why
they are eating and drinking."
Because they are not hungry md
thirsty"
you talk in paradoxes."
mot at all. You do not understand
They do not know what it is to be
hungry and thirsty. If they were Fun.
cry and thirsty they would be in the
bread line or at home eating real food
instead Of dainties and CONNECTIONS
and drinking real water instead OF
stfmulants and narcotics
But you do not explain why they
eat and drink what they do not need"
ITO show they have money and to
show they have time-money to spend
In overindulgence and time to spend
in letting the effects wear off,"
And do they perform no useful ser
vice?"
mo. To perform useful service is
to produce, which is not respectable.
It is respectable only to consume" -
Life
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
Mans Rights and Privileges.

One privilege which man exercises
ID that Of being absolutely helpless
when It is question of looking for
anything, and he considers it his nat
ural, inherent right to have some
woman lind things for him. The aver
age feminine responds every time, for
she realizes the urgency of the situa-
ton. When he tries to look for some
thing, as rule the after-appearance
of the place would make chaos, house
cleaning and the tail of a cyclone
turn pale green at their inefflciency.
In the house his wife finds his hat.
cravat and other possessions. In fact,
It is family tradition that great-grand-
father used to ask, MA, where's my
shirt" and for great-grandmother to
respond, I'm aware, Mr. Clark, did
not hand it to you, but laid it right
beside your bed" But he asked her
next time just the same. She knew
he would.
In the Office he stands in the middle
of the room and asks where his letter
book is. That book has been always
in one spot for the past five years.
In the days Of the garden of Eden
Eve had to find the apple and give it
to Adam.-Life.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21

A woman burglar, her face heavily
yelled, and accompanied by a man,
was scared away from the house of
John Gallery, a wealthy coal dealer,
living in the Clifton Park section Of
Weehawken, early the other morning
by servant coming downstairs to let
in the cat
The burglars had entered by front
window, which they opened with a
Jimmy, and had packed up all the sill
verware, table linen and cut glass
ready for removal when the servant
girl heard the cat crying outside the
kitchen door. AS she came down the
stairs to let the cat in she heard the
swish of a woman's silk gown. Turn.
ing up a light she found the packed
bundles ready to be taken away. She
ran to the front door and saw man
and woman running down the street.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
THE BANANA TIP

Nov that winter Is approaching"
said a good specialist, I'VE should eat
a lot of fruit. I myself, all winter,
will go in for bananas. But bananas
give most people indigestion. That Is
because they don't know how to eat
them, though. Listen.
1.-The average person selects solid
banana without a feck on its blonde
skin, he consumes the white, hard
flesh OF the fruit, and for seven or
eight hours afterward he keeps tasting
banana-he has indigestion-and the
next day, ten to one, he rises with a
headache.
But the native considers such
blonde. solid bananas green. The ma
tive eats banana whose skin is quite
brown and whose white flesh has
turned to a brownish pulp of the con-
sistency of stewed fruit. The native,
in fact. must eat his banana with
spoon: it is SO far gone as that.
Yes, it is far gone, but it is quite
sweet. Yet we couldn't stand tit
,1'N.d. seem to US unappetizing. But
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
The Upiift Movement.

Wien he left the house Saturday
morning Burton yanked at the door as
if he would pull it off it's hinges.
When he couldn't open it he started
to grumble until his wife came to his
assistance.
"What'n blueblazes is the matter
with this door," no grumbled, giving
it another powerful yank without be-
ing able to open it.
1.-THE trouble with you, John dear "
the wife ventured, us that you are al.
ways down on everything in
the mouth, down on the world. Let
me try It,"
With gentle tug upward on the
knob she easily opened the door.
John was about to sputter out a
sarcastic remark when the force of
his wife's logic sank in his thick
skull.
Il get it," he exclaimed. II get the
lesson"
That afternoon when his wife Wis.,
tied his Office she saw over his desk
little motto with the words, "Me for.
the Uplift'
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
TEMPTATION WAS TOO GREAT.
Afghan Horse Thief Gave Owner
"ReaI" Exhibition Of How AMI
NAL Was Stolen.

An Indian officer relates some good
stories of Peshawur, which In the
early seventies" before British poll.
tical influence had asserted itself be.
yopd% the lonely little forts Of Jam.
rud" and "Shabkadar," was a some.
what disturbed locality, in spite Of
the strength Of It's garrison.
It was at Peshawur (he says) that
the medical officer Of my regiment
was informed one night that a valu.
able and favorite Arab" OF his had
been stolen! Over the border. gone
for ever-he never expected to see
his horse again, but next day, much to
his surprise, there came to him a
bearded ruft1an. riding bare-backed tho
stolen steed.
He confessed that he had taken the
animal, but, learning that it was the
property of hakim, (physician) had
brought it back. The horse had been
tethered in line with others, with
men. women, and children sleeping
In the open about them.
How did you manage it," asked
the doctor
IF the sahtb will give the necessary
ORDER" he said, II will show him."
The entire scene was reproduced,
even to the night Waterman asleep in
corner. Noiselessly the Afghan
crawled towards the Arab, threading
snakelike through the PROSTATE forms
to where it was standing at the end
OF the row. Softly Kissing to attract
the animals attention, without caus~
Ing him alarm, he gently raised him.
self with arm extended.
In his open palm were some Jumps
OF ~goor (native sugar., beloved >ol
horses, and while the Arab was enjoy.
Ing these the man was caressing hin,
with the other hand, whence suspend.
ed watering bride taken from his
wallet Quickly this was adjusted, and
then, stroking soothingly, the robber
passed his hand over the animals
back and down tn headquarters.
Swiftly the heel ropes were unhltch.
ed, then the headgear released, and
with a bound he was astride and away
his right hand backward flung shout.
Ing trtumphantly as he passed: Titus
was 1t done!"
The joke was that he never cams
back! A double restitution would
have been too much Of a wrench.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
FOR: SUNDAY SUPPER
HINTS ON PREPARING THIS IN.
FORMAL MEAL.
Ono Hot Dish and the Rest Cold 90
II May BE Served At Any Time
and Guests Help Them
selves.

Informal suppers on Sunday even
lngs are tho entertainments provided
BY one country hostess for her friends.
and 80 successful have these affairs b.
come that never is she without sew
eral visitors. and. as the meal 10 Of q
kind that can be served at any hour,
guests have no feeling Of being too
late.
The hostess has but one servant,
and allows her to go out every Sun
day. It is easier to do without any
service than to have that which Is
bad. the employer sensibly maintains,
and declares that it would be de-
moralizing to work at other times.
did she> allow too much latitude to
the maid in the dining room on Sun
days. So, after the formal midday
dinner is over and the dishes washed.
the maid lays the supper table end
then departs.
Supper is either cold or there is but
one hot dish, this being made in the
chatting dish, and chosen with view
to not spelling by standing in the hot
water Jacket. Curried eggs, creamed
chicken or salmon, or something simi-
lar, is usually prepared. and incident
ally, should any be left over, it IL ex-
cellent for luncheon next day.
Besides this hot food there is al
ways vegetable salad and mayor
naise. selecting either cucumber or to-
mato. There is bread and butter and
iced tea or coffee. The dessert is
either berries, other fruit, or a kind
that will keep for many hours without
looking left over
All these are on the table at once.
There Is no tablecloth. but a center
piece. dish of flowers. and candies.
Plates are not placed at regular inter
vale, but left in pile, ono at either
end Of the table. Knives are also
together, and so are forks, two sets
being at either side of the table to
save unnecessary reaching. The Jug
of iced tea and glasses for it are on
a side table, and the dessert may be
kept there also.
Tho usual time for going into the
dining room is O'Clock, but as the
supper cannot be harmed by stand
Ing, and there is no maid to be de-
layed, the hostess goes when she feels
like 1t, and from then on to $3.50
friends drop in. Each person helps
himself as at any buffet supper, and
there Is never an evening when all is
not gayety and fun. Such entertain
Ing is no tax on the hostess, and she
sees her friends far more often than
she would under other circumstances.
Since automobiling has become more
general, her home is more or less of a
meeting place and Sunday night sup
pers have become an institution in
the household.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
Alfonso Enjoys Joke on Himself.

Alfonso Enjoys Joke on Himself.
Alfonso of Spain has a tremendous
appetite; like any boy, he is always
hungry. He is far from handsome,
but like any boy, again, he does not
give a rap about his looks. A few
months ago, while motoring near La
Granfa, the kings appetite plagued
him and he halted at a wayside inn.
where he ate with much relish while
cracking jokes with the landlord and
a few peasants who happened to be
there. being unknown to them, Of
course.
A little girl entered to buy wine for
her father.
Tell me-" said Don Alfonso to the
child. have you seen the king since
he has been at La Granfa"
"Only once" answered the GIRL
HE had on a beautiful uniform. but
he Is very ugly"
The king laughed and told the story
on himself.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
Ruined by Prosperity.

Oar now!" exclaimed Brother Dick.
ey. you see what prosperity does for
pusson, don't you? Look at dat man
yonder. Wen he wuz po' he wuz han
py, but he won prize er SO an fun
dat day ter dis he amt knowed what
peace is! His wife wanted ter buy a
hat wild de money an he wanted to 70
into bankln' business, an dar's whar
de row started. An it amt likely dat
it'll stop soon, either. An all on &C.
count er strikin' sudden riches by win.
min dat SO prize. May de good Lawd
keep me po' an peaceful!"-Atlanta
Constitution.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
"Horace, tho Man Here-He Ha,
Plnched Mel"

The fish market man brought out the
victim. The lobster, who had bitten
him three times that day was trying
for the fourth bite.
Mr.. White had to take the Elm
street car line to reach home. So did
Miss Henderson. They didn't meet
on the car by accident. He walked
down the street one block to find her
waiting, and they got on together.
1t is surprising how easy it is to
talk love on street car. On one
side of the happy pair is deaf old
man, and on the other is an old wom-
an who is thinking of the pork roast
In the market basket at her feet, and
the two opposite have their noses in
newspapers. The pair can go right
ahead and plan bridal tours, costly
flats and bank accounts. It's almost
the same as sitting in the parlor, and
there Is constant change of scenery.
This had been going on for weeks
when the event took place to try the
to-be-bride's soul.
On this particular evening she was
waiting on the corner, as usual. Not
q thought Of danger entered her mind.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
BARGAIN SALE.

The city artist had tramped over
fields and meadows without finding a
COW suitable for a model. At last he
sighted q sad-looking animal with
shaggy hide and protruding ribs. How
ever. It was the only COW available.
and he tried to strike a bargain with
its owner.
How much will you charge to
sketch your cow" he inquired.
Been charging dollar and half
a day." drawled the rustic.
Dollar and a half a day! Great
Scott! Don't you consider it rather
dear for such q model as that?"
The owner stood in deep meditation.
1T may be, stranger" he pondered.
AN yeou look like decent sort Of
a chap. Suppose yeou give me two
dollars an yeou can have the whole
blamed caow."
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-04-21
FORBID TWO NAMES
OLD ENGLISH lkX VERY DEFlN.
TIE As TO NAMING CHILDREN.
Practise Has Now Become Almost
Universal - Royal Percentage
Have Always Been kno~-,
Cd More Than One.

Middle names, hard as it is to credit
In this generation, were once illegal.
The old English law was very definite
as to the naming Of children, and &C"
cording to Coke, "A man cannot have
two names at baptism" 1T Is reQuls-
ite," this law goes on, that the pur-
chaser be named by the name OF his
baptism and his surname, and that
special heed be taken to the name OF
baptism"
Royal personages have always been
allowed to have more than one given
name. but as late as 1900, 1t Is said,
there were only four persons In all
England who had two given names. In
1920 the Mayflower sailed for America.
and there was not a man or woman
upon it who had a middle name.
Even a century and half ago dou'
BILE names were very uncommon. The
English used to dodge the law at times
by ingeniously compromising names.
: Thus old parish registers In England
there is occasionally seen such CON-
binations as Fannasabilia, which Is
Fanny and Sybil joined together, and
Annameriar, made up Of Anna and
Maria. Maris is one of the earliest
middle names of record for boys. 1t
was given in honor Of the Virgin
Mary. AS much as they dared begin
ming along in the 18th century, par
ents evaded the "one-name law"
But even as late as 100 years ago
custom was against the middle name.
If the names Of the signers Of the
declaration OF independence be looked
over it will be found that only three
of them had middle names. The first
five presidents of the United States
had only one name each-George
Washington, John Adams, Thomas
Jefferson. James Madison and James
Monroe. Before Grant, 18th of the
line, there were only three double
named executives John Quincy
Adams, William Henry Harrison and
James Knox Polk.
When middle names got going and
became the fashion, the law having
dropped into disuse, parents went to
work combining names for their of
spring enthusiastically. One custom
was done away with in England in
consequence of this, the plan of nam
ing the eldest son for the estate, par
t'cularly when he succeeds to that
estate through his mother. This old
Idea is still followed to some extent in
this country by the mothers maiden
name being given to the eldest son.
It Identifies the boy when he grows
to manhood, and so has a positive
value. During the time of the civil
war and just after hundreds of par
ents named sons simply Lincoln and
Grant.
Such instances have, however, been
uncommon for the past so years. The
middle name has become well-ligh
universal. Sometimes the case arises
Of man prominent in public life or
literature leaving of his first name
altogether and becoming known by his
middle name. Grover Cleveland,
whose baptismal name was Stephen
Grover Cleveland, has been the most
conspicuous example of this.-Ha=-
per's Weekly.