davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06

asThere is" says Hondo Murphy,
limit, and it has been reached. ing
proper moment for all good men am
true to come to the aid of organized
society and personal liberty, has ar
rived in a bunch. This paper bug
should be swatted early in the sea-
son. g
are willing to recognize its value as an
iaeent of civilization; without paper
railroads, many of our leading slmps
would be at loss for place 10 lnVes@
inherited money; without paper nap
kins, picnic lunch would De uisIlaI
failure; we will stand for the paper
drinking cup. and even submit to one
of the most recent idiocities boosted
by the paper trust,--the paper towel
the paper milk bottle is gooo Inlns,
as it saves a lot of washing,-BOT the
enemy of clean, manly sport VINO IS
advocating paper pop-bottles for base
ball use, should be shot upon the spot,
without particular attention 10
which spot! Why, blame 1T, no one
could kill. or even seriously MAIN an
umpire with a paper pop bottle!"
Near-Rev. Bickel is not guilty. But
whether the jury rendered the verdict
upon the grounds that he was dlvin-
ity student or because he didn't know
that mercurial tablets were poison, we
are unable to state.
Regardless of Doc Crumbine's opin-
ions, we still hold that the fly is like
the professional gossip.-not particu-
larly dangerous, but dang nuisance
nevertheless.
LEAVE IT TO FATHER, HE IS
RIGHT!
Dear me- the mother said and
shifted;
''the dog is soaking wet"
''You don't smell that" the father
said;
TITS wi1lie's cigarette"
Dallas News
There is nothing different about the
Camorrist trial except that it is spoken
in Italian. The defense is the GUS
ftomary one, to-wit that the witnesses
for the prosecution are all liars.
Mr.. Capper's resemblance to the late
Mr.. Barkis holds good in more ways
than one. He is not only willing, but
did not need much urging.
IT TAKES AN ASSORTMENT OF
JUNK TO FILL A NEWSPAPER.
Reports of Chess-Games, which we
never heed,
To others are, no doubt, Daily Need
Although they are our fav'rite Syn
For Nothing Much. Dear Ermyntrude,
to read.
Likewise, the Bunc which we do here
indite
May be waste of Paper in the Sight
OF many good Subscribers; yet few
Do read the same,-just as you do,
Tonight!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
AYHAWKER JOTS

And the editor of the Toronto Re
publican also offers an explanation at
this time. His excuse is about the
best that could be offered: At this
writing we have a full grown case of
neuralgia and if these items sound a
little bit grouchy you needn't be sur
prised.
Timely warning from the Strong
City News Courant: It is rumored
that 1.-THE Old Maids Convention"
will be held this year in Strong City.
This is an age of conventions, so the
old maids of Kansas have organized
and will be here in convention in
few weeks. Bachelors and Widowers'
look outi
without manning any names" the
Luray Herald advertises thu besett1ng
weakness of a fellow either thus: A
believer in personal liberty to eat ana
drink as he pleases, and who can
drink or let it alone, has preferred to
drink lately to an extent that he drove
his wife out of the house. so that two
different nights she hid in an clubhouse
much of the night to find refuge from
his drunken fury.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
Poor "Cussin' Carus'."
Caruso's voice is marvellous,
Or was, two months ago;
But why it is he does not sing
N0bOdU SPar1S fn Epouy

SdFuSOS voice is marvellous,
Or was, two months ago;
But why it is he does not sing
Nobody seems to know.
Of course, If there's a woman shad-
owing Enrico Caruso with unrequited
love in her soul it is no wonder that he
cannot light long enough to loose the
s1lVery tones that are stored in his
throat and delight the general public
at so much per delight. No man can
do anything when a woman starts after
MIN, urged on by cupid. Therefore, if
the great tenor is being chased by a
| wild-eyed wooeress he is not to be
blamed. An affinity never jibes with
art.
They say it's true. She saw him
first on train coming from Chicago
last February. Alteration Immediately
| took possession of her soul, and since
that time she has been on the trail
OF the tenor so persistently that his
sensitive nerves have been all tangled
Up.
Il blame it all on these large railroad
cars you Americans love-" he is re-
ported to have said. In Europe we
have small compartments, entirely pri-
vate, but in this country everybody
meets everybody. What, then, is an
artist like me to do?'
The story of the energetic woman
may be the answer, and it may not.
Some of the great tenor's friends
ascribe his absence from the stage to
rear that something terrible might
happen if he sang. A story is going
the rounds to the effect that a for
tune teller, whom he visited one time in
spirit of fun, told him that If he
sang any more this season death would
crack down on him and carry him to
the land from which no traveller ever
returns. Not being ready just at this
time to quit this vale of tears, the tenor
is religiously turning down his 81, 500 a
night.
And then, still another tale says that
there is a pesky microbe in Carusos
throat, that insists on not being dis
turbed with high C's.
1t is estimated that Caruso has lost
$4,000 through his absence from the
Metropolitan productions since he drop
ped out. Verify they even say that
cousin Carus' - at times gets so peev-
ed over the state of affairs that he
becomes "Cussin' Carus.' New York
Te1egraDh
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
GLOBE SIGHTS.
LFrom the Atchison Globe.]

So often a good letter writer isn't
good for anything else.
Was the temperature in a chair car
ever satisfactory to any one?
The fact that others are worse,
doesn't excuse your meanness.
Speaking of thirsts, the one child
develops while travelling on the train,
is no SLOUGH.
Why can't an actress be as natural
off the stage as she tries to be when
the play is on?
After it begins to run over" there
are few more sorrowfuI sights than a
high heeled shoe.
In the average Kansas town whisky
drummer is spotted the minute he steps
off the 1888 passenger.
In their quarrels children are like
grown people: about the only thing to
do is to let them fight it out.
Figured in dollars and cents, it is
considerable journey from the live
stock market to the butcher shop.
Every man may be entitled to a
middle name, but very few use their
central monicker to any advantage.
There are several ways of being dis
agreeable. One is to call attention to
a mans age after he has passed 40.
There are so many different kinds Of
people in the world that there may be
few girls who don't use slang.
So many give their employers their
time during the day, and put their
heart into what goes on after supper.
If you just can't drive yourself TO
work you are sick or lazy, with chances
largely in favor of the latter.
While deafness is a great misfortune.
we who hear a good deal are willing to
admit that it has many advantages.
If you don't think the joys of child
hood are exaggerated a good deal, ask
the children. But you know they are
without asking.
Seeking consolation for a defeat, one
can't do much better than find an ac-
commodating person who will cheer
fully listen to abuse of the victor.
Although a boy doesn't like to go to
school very well. he would rather take
a cold lunch than come home at noon
and get a warm dinner
Daughter usually breaks a good
many dishes if she has to wash them,
and there is some question as to
whether the breakage should be
charged to carelessness or revenge.
You may have observed that fat
man who needs the exercise of climb
ing stairs, will fuss a good deal if the
elevator isn't running. But he isn't
the only one to object to what is best
for him
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06

the hltherto monument of silence that
had been taking in the whole per-
formance from the front seat, "for
I'm the town clerk and I remember
enough of the phrasing of a license to
write one out where We Sit
'.Whew!" declared the judge "You
had me well scaredI L thought we
We're permanently barred. Hurry up
and draw it up and have these children
execute it,
Then he turned to the girl. els
there any doubt about your father be-
ing in the house?"
He Was very audibly present when
l was up after the ammonia" broke in
Windon.
Hurry to the house and see if he is
eff he's there he won't be STILL" in
terpolated Annie.
"And then meet us in front of the
house" went on the Judge. "And now,
Mr.. Holmes, come with us and marry
these foundlings of ours. so they can
say the ceremony was held at the
brides home and when her father was
in the house."
Gathered in front of the mansion,
the group of impromptu wedding
guests heard the words that bound the
pair for better or for worse, the Judge
giving away the bride. The congratu-
lations were interrupted by a heavy
voice which doomed:
Where do belong in this perform
ance?'
"Oh, father cried the bride, rush
ing to the dark figure with hands out
stretched; and then she was surprised
to be caught in the strong arms and
repeatedly Kissed.
Il suppose I'm to blame for this es-
capade, SIR" declared Judge Harlan,
"but I'm not sorry for, nor ashamed
of any part of iti''
IF you are either sorry or ashamed
it's the first time in your life, Dick
Harlan" growled the father.
D-D-Dick-why, 1 know that
voice! BY George, you are Hal Ar
mour. you old rascal" he stammered.
And then the bride of ten minutes
stood between two large old men with
a pair of clasped hands on each side of
her.
Now, everybody come in, for 1
want to get the light on this meddling
old jurist," said the doctor, turning
into the hall with one big hand cling
ing to the simmer white hand of the
Judge--(Copyright, 1911. by Associ-
ated Literary Press)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06

that street cars should be stopped on
Sunday but imagine what a revolution
it would create here if this were DONE
But no matter how diverse the opin-
ions on this question there ought to De
a unanimity of sentiment on the ques-
ton of enforcing the law. The law
was made to be enforced and it should
be enforced or repealed. Attorney Gen
eral Dawson's determination to apply
the same rule to other cities that he
applies to Topeka should be COM
mended. 1t is the only position that
an officer charged with the supervision
of the enforcement of the law could
consistently take.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
HUA4OR or THE DAY

F'rost-What's the difference between a
debutante and a suffragette? Snow-About
twenty years.-Woman's Home Compan-
ion.
''They say he's very phiNlnthropic.
yes, indeed. He provides his employees
with everything except fire escapes
Louisville Courier-Journal
isn't it strange the Scrapleys always
have their house full of company" "Oh,
don't know; it's the only way they can
get along together''-Judge.
IT am going to ask your father tonight
for your hand in marriage" How dread
fully old-fashioned you arei'' .Tn what
way?'' Don't ask him; tell him. "-Hous-
ton Post.
Kalem-Duler seems to be looked upon
as the most famous man in your town;
what is the reason? Silig-He was the
first inhabitant to mortgage his home to
buy an airship.-Chicago News.
Eventually said the literary boarder.
Frightening up, Ct believe it will be pos
sible for G. Bernard Shaw to advance
some commonplace idea or suggestion
without starting everybody in discussing
it as If it We're something worth WHILE
Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
[From the PhiladeIphia Record.


Many a man who is strong drink
er isn't strong enough to raise the
price of a drink.
Even after boy has been christen-
ed he sometimes has to make a name
for himself.
A woman hates to change her mind
almost as much as she hates to change
a dollar bill.
The fellow who first discovered that
honesty is the best policy had evidently
tried them all.
Artists are all right. The only trou-
BILE is that some of them can draw ev-
erything except salary.
The theory of supply and demand
doesn't. unfortur ately, always govern
the market value of advice.
Tommy-''Pop. what is a stitch in
tire?'' Tommy's Pop-''When the clock
has a pain in its back. Now run away
and play"
1t isn't until the average man reach
es a certain age that he discovers he
can have fun without suffering for it
the next morning.
BIoobs-'Borrowel boasts that he
always keeps in touch with the pub
lie" SIobbs-'Naturally Borrowed is
always touching somebody
Mrs. Goodleigh-"Is your husband
regular in his habits?" Mrs. Guzzler-
las regular as clockwork. He takes
a drink eight times day
Possibly it's just as well for the man
with a sense of huulor that he doesn't
live to read the inscription on his
tombstone. Otherwise he might laugh
himself to death.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
PuREIY PEssInr1srro,

OhE1AL1 HESSlMISIlC.
say, weather. can't you change you
style?
The sunshine every day,
so cheerful in its kindness,
Is too much like a play.
We do not long for azure skies,
such as the poets sing;
our weather taste is different, and
We want the real thing.
The long-continued sunny smile
or heaven, day by day,
Gets on our nerves and makes us yearn
To have the frowning gray.
we want to see some weeping clouds,
Some rain to lay the dust,
To prove the bureau and the sun
Are not sunshine trust.
rms serial style of clear white days,
With which were sorely vexed,
Is getting too much like a tale
Continued in our next.
We want some dark and dismal days,
Some gray skies with the blue.
Because you really seem too good
To be entirely true.
w. ]. hampton, in New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
Pankhurst ON Prisons

1.-THE whole spirit is so very fine that
the institution is a better one than 1
have ever visited before" said Miss
Sylvia Pankhurst, the youthful mill
tant suffragette now touring America,
after she had concluded trip of in
spection through the Eastern peuiten-
tiary.
And the warden is so hopeful and
kind and shows such humanity. 1t is
quite all right, though I would sug-
gest many things to bring the condi-
ton of the convicts to a more humane
plane. Besides, there are 1,40O men
prisoners there and only % women.
Now, isn't that another good argument
for woman's suffrage?
"The chief hopeful sign is that there
they learn something" she continued,
pointing around at the various speci-
mems of workmanship. "And they can
also earn a reasonable amount of
money up to 20 cents day.
There are many objections, how
ever, but generally the tone here is
better than I have encountered any
where. I do not think, however, that
the prisoners Should be kept, as they
are in some instances, four in a cell,
and neither do 1 approve of the work
being done in the cells, although they
tell me the weaving is to be stopped
shortly. That is always dangerous and
leads to tuberculosis.
ST think have been all over. Here
they give the men some latitude.
There, for instance, was one man who
had come in here as a minor, after he
had killed a man. He has developed
a talent for drawing, anc the walls of
his cell contain drawings of boyhood
scenes rear his home in the West.
Then, too, the illiterates are sent to
school. Why, looked over the papers
of some of the pupils. They had been
writing a composition on Does it pay
to be potter One paper in particular
was longer than the rest. 1t was the
work Of a Hungarian. He wrote very
wretchedly and with terrible English,
lyet he was struggling to put down his
thoughts that it does pay to be polite.
And in the composition he pointed out
that there~were many bad points about
him that made politeness almost an
| impossible thing. 1t was very pathetic.
1.-THE warden tells me that very few
| come back to the institution. I wonder
| at that. For there is no doubt that sc
many men sleeping in the same cells
the strong one will corrupt the weak
| er. That is one of the great draw
backs. The men should not work in
their cells. There should be large
workrooms. And only one man should
| be kept in a cell, and only then when
| he should be sleeping. Then, too, they
might be given more liberty. "-Phila-
tdelphia Press. -.4
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
MAYOR BILLIARD FOR GOVERNOR

The entry of Mayor J. B. Billiard
into the race for governor will prob
ably occasion little surprise for the
drift has been in that direction so far
as the Democrats are concerned.
]. B. Billiard, an open and avowed
enemy of prohibition, has twice
been chosen as the head of the
government of the capital city of Kan
sas, where it is acknowledged that the
people favor a strict enforcement of
the prohibitory law. This being true,
it follows either that the sentiment
of the people has changed or that Mr..
Billiard is considered such a great man
that the city can afford to ignore his
sentiments on this important public
question.
There has been no state campaign
against prohibition for long time and
perhaps the enemies of the law have
concluded that the time is ripe for
action. In that event Mr.. Billiard
would be an ideal candidate to lead
the resubmission forces.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The one-legged man has the advant-
age when it comes to corns.
Only the expert politician can live
easy without any visible means of sup
port.
When you're travelling the wrong
road the helping hands are few and
far between.
The pessimists on the subject believe
that marriage is a lottery In winch
there are no prizes.
X y
It's not difficult to find a few people
who will say they dislike to see sum-
mer coming.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the chicago News.1

IFrom the Chicago News.]
It's human nature to want the things
we can't get.
It's easier to put up bluff that it is
to put up the stuff.
Many political boss isn't any kind
of boss at home.
Unless a girl is hard to please she's
not worth the effort.
Give a designing widow rope enough
and she'll rope some man in.
A young man never makes strenu-
Gus effort to entertain a girl who is
engaged
Everything comes to him who waits
including the woman who said she'd
be ready in a minute.
Some people are selfish enough to
want to keep their troubles to them
selves even when their neighbors want
to borrow them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

[From the New York Press.1
Girls can exercise a lot of influence
over men by not marrying them.
A woman can rule her husband with
out being able to do 1t to the children.
Telling the truth is not so difficult:
it's not telling a lie instead that is so
hard.
People will ask you to let them do
you favor when they wouldn't do /.
if your asked them to.
Lots of women are ashamed to have
their husbands so unartistic they can't
help being successful
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06
KANSAS cO4AENT


LFTILENESS OF THE GREAT.
Ohe OF the country's greatest pub
Iisners, IN giving advice to young men.
noios up Alexander the Great as his
Ioty most successful young man."
such teachings are most vicious but
lney are IN line with similar rot con-
scientiousiy taught in the public
scnools. The Greats of history are
enpnatically the fellows who were
auePts at Wholesale robbery and
Dutcnery. We read and teach much
ABOUT Alexander the Great, Napoleon
me me Great' and Jim, John or Charles
conquest in blood, skill at slaughter,
ana thoroughness in wiping out or ac-
curing whole peoples, but Franklin
ne ne great Pasteur the Great, Edison
VINO created and uplifted, saved rather
than slew, got feeble attention.
alexander, the Macedonian, was per-
maps the most able and Successful of
species of Greats who will be less
ana less considered, either as great
men or great Successes as we be-
come more enlightened and civilized,
ana TO hold him up to our youth as
the worlds most successful young
man is perniciously stupid, if not
cr1minally dangerous
Alexander became ruler of Mace
don at 20 years of age, under strong
assassination of his father. He crush
ed rebellfons throughout Greece, de-
stroylng Thebes and selling ali her
peoPIe as slaves. He ravaged all Per-
sia, burning Persepolis, most beautiful
city of the world, because, during a
drunken orgie, a worthless woman,
named That's, asked him to. He muir
dered, with his own hands, his faith
~! generals and his closest friend,
Clltus, when in a drunken rage. He
conquered pretty much all the then
known world. At go years of age, his
Ilxer and heart went back en- him.
after a prolonged debauch, and he
died. Nice character to hold up as the
most successful young man of history
wasn't he?
Nay, Alexander and others like him
may do as splendid examples of sue
cessful destroyers, but the most sue
cessfui men are those who create. We
should teach emulation of the man
VINO destroys a billion tuberculosis
germs or the fellow who gets up a new
potato and fills millions Of empty
stomachs.-Wichita Beacon
TWO IDEAS.
1t isn't often that the clerk of the
United States senate gets an ovation
the other day he got two of them in
quick succession.
The first came when he announced
that the upper house had appropriated
money to build a monument to Thorn
as Jefferson in Washington. Then the
democrats jumped up anc cheered |
like mad.
The second ovation broke loose |
when he announced that the senate |
mad also appropriated money for a |
memorial to Alexander Hamilton. |
'Fhen the Republicans leaped to their |
feet and yelled their prettiest
And the lesson? Why. that this is |
a big country with room in it for two |
City, Kan, Gazette |
Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06

e. A. Brown, the Denver millionaire,
who has travelled from one end of the
country to the other as tramp for the
purpose of ascertaining the conditions
which prevail among that gentry. is of
the opinion that the hoboes could be
materially helped on their way if each
community established municipal 1odg-
ing houses for their care and comfort
while they are in transit This would
certainly make it fine for the hoboes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06

Colonel Roosevelt hits a nail on the
head when he insists that murder is
murder" But the great trouble with
murder being murder in the United
States is that 1t has to be proved, and
so many rights are conferred en-
those accused of serious crimes that
this has developed into an almost i'm
T9osSfble task
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06

Madero, the leader of the Mexican
rebels, is nothing if not generous. AS
a peace overture he has expressed his
willingness to resign as provisional"
president of the republic provided
Diaz resigns the actual presidency. In
other words, Madero is willing to give
up nothing while he wants Diaz to
give IN great deal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06

Baseball must be among the most
profitable of pursuits. The owners
of the New York Giants are going to
spend 100000 in rebuilding the
grandstands and bleachers at the Polo
Grounds which were recently destroy
ed bv fire
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06

As suggested by the Boston Globe:
Congress has before it a memorial from
the Ohio legislature proposing the pro-
hibition of polygamy by constitutional
amendment. wouldn't the cause of
public morality be advanced more by
a constitutional amendment limiting
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06

It would seem that in the investiga-
ton of cold storage methods, com
rnittee of the United States senate will
work on familiar theme. The SEN
ate has ever had the habit of keeping
things in cold storage.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-05-06

The Mexican peace commissioners
are meeting in a ring. Inasmuch as
they have failed to equip themselves
with six ounce gloves their contro-
versy cannot be settled according to
tha MARQUIS of Queensberry rules.
More's the pity.