davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Tramps and Cuff MuzzIera,

The most curious article in the
tramp's outfit bears an appropriately
odd name-the cuff mueller" 1t con-
sists Of the leg of an old stocking cut
up into short lengths and worn over
the wrist like thick mitten, and it's
object is to increase the circumference
Of the wrist to such an extent that a
constable cannot easily slip handcuff
over it.
Indeed, pair of 'cuff muzzlers"-
which are worn by none save veteran
roadsters-make it very difficult for a
constable alone and unaided to hand
cuff their wearer. Tramps' tools bear
puzzling names. Particularly cryptic
is '1ddle," the term for a big nail
carried by 1.-THE spike ranger" or itin
Grant who goes from one casual ward
to the next. Should he fall into the
hands of the police it is used in "oak
um worrying''-that is, separating the
strands of hard rope.-Baltimore Amer
ican
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Old lima Smoke Nuisance.

We are accustomed to think of the
smoke nuisance as q modern phenome.
non, but Professor V. B. Lewes shows
that it raised so much Indignation In
England 600 years ago that decree
was made forbidding the use Of btu
minous coal for fuel. Such fuel was
then a new thing.
In the time Of Queen Elizabeth an
other attempt to use bituminous coal
was defeated by public opposition to
the smoke. The third effort attained
complete success in the nineteenth cen.
fury, and new the quantity Of smoke
belched into the air is so great that
Professor Lewes Hkens it to a cumu-
lative pois bn which aids in shortening
life. killing vegetation and beginning
and destroying buildings.-youths
Companion
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09

"1 went into a stationer's shop II
London one day." said an American
land said to the shop assistant:
"'Do you keep mucilage?
"'No, SIR the young man answered
we try to take in all the papers, bu'
there are so many new ones coming
out. Still, I can order mucilage fol
you, sir. Which number did yor
wantY
81 learned afterward that I should
have asked for gum. They don't nave
the word 'mucilage' over there in Eng
land.
"But an Englishman travelling OF
one Of our railways stopped a trai1
boy and said:
"'Have you got any gumT
"'No; I don't use it, boss the DO,
replied in friendly fashion, but l cal
let yo1 have a cYaw off this herr
plug" Washington Star.
He Knew
Casey-Phwat kind av horse is {
cob? Mulligan-Its wan that's beer
raised intoirely on corn, ye ignoramus
Boston Transcript.
Prayer carries us halfway to Goo
| fasting brings us to the door OF HI
palace, and almsgiving procures US al
mission.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
A Woman's Letter.

Women, it is generally admitted.
write much better letters than men
M. Marcel Provost discovered the
reason for this superiority. 1.-The OBJ
v1ous meaning Is never the one we
should read into a woman's letter
There is always a yelled meaning.
Woman makes use of letter just as
she employs glance or a smile, in a
way that is carefully thought out and
with an eye to effect. And, after all,
does woman's hat serve to cover her
head? Does a woman's parasol keep
off the sun? Why, then, should wo-
mans letter serve to convey her real
thoughts to the person addressed, just
like the letters of some honest grocer,
who writes, I send you five pounds of
Coffee" because he really does send
you FIVE pounds of coffee Y-London
Spectator.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09

No. 8, daily, 11.5O a. m. Local be-
tween Washington and Danville.
No. 20, daily, 10 p. M. Birmjug-
ham Special. Through coaches
ard sleeping car 30 Atlanta and
Birmingham. Dining car service. TUu-
rist to California times weeks
No. So, daily, 1910 p. m. U. s. Fast
| Mail, first-class coaches and drawing
room sleeping car to New Orleans
dining Car service.
No 81, The Southern Southeastern
Ltd, daily, 500 p. m. Through Pull
man drawing-room sleeping cars,
coaches and dining car for Greensboro,
Durham, Raleigh, Charlotte, Column
bia, Charleston, Aiken, Augusta, Sa-
vannah and jacksonville.
No. Al, daily, LOS am. New York and
Chattanooga Limited (via Lynchburg)
first-class coach and sleeping cars to
Roanoke, Knoxville, Chattanooga.
Sleeping car to New Orleans. Dining
car service.
No. 81, daily, 1.42 a. m. New York
Atlanta and New Orleans Ltd; solid
Pullman train, club and observation
cars to Atlanta and New Orleans;
sleeping cars to Asheville, Atlanta,
New Orleans. fSleeplng car 10 Cnar
lotte. Dining car service.
7:25 a. IN. daily. Memphis special
Through sleeping cars and coaches for
Roanoke, Knoxville, Chattanooga and
Memphis. Dining car service.
Trains leave Harrisonburg for wash
ington $40 a. m. week days, and zoo
D. m. daily; arrive Washington l1;55
a. m. and 915 p. M, respectively
Trains leave Washington LOT H al
burg $50 a. m. daily, anu orr i,oo s Ha ~
risonburg 3. So p m. and 1925 and 800
immediate connection in New Union
Danot at Washington for and from
Baltimore, Philadelphia and NewYorS
p. Fl. Goapma'n' Vs. y, f. T = Sse: Mg g
III. F. Cay, Gen. Pass. Agt.
Il. s. Brown, Gen. Agt.
Washington d. C
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
STARTLED THE BISHOP.
An UntimeIy Royal Letter and the
Message 1t Conveyed.

An UntimeIy Royal Letter and the
Message 1t Conveyed.
One night at 3 o'clock the bishop Of
Orleans was reused by a royal cou-
rier who had in hot haste brought
dispatch from his majesty Louis XIV.
The bishop imagined that something
terrible had happened. Tremblingly he
opened the package and read:
"Monsieur the Bishop of Orleans-My
daughters wish for some preserved Or
leans ounces. Pray send some. II
you have none beg that you will
In this part Of the letter there was
drawing Of a sedan chair, and under
meath the chair the kings letter con-
unued thus:
"Send Immediately into your episco-
pal town and get them, and, monsieur
the bishop. may God have you in his
holy keeping. Louis"
Lower down on the page was this
postscript:
1.-THE sedan chair does not mean any
thing. 1t was drawn by my daughter
on this sheet Of paper, which hap
pened to find near me-"
Greatly relieved, the bishop hurried
a courier into Orleans. procured the
preserves and sent them to his royal
master.-Thomas e. Watson in 1.-THE
Story Of France"
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Dumas R;ot CT Extravagance.

Dumas Monte Cristo villa was a
lordly pleasure house, tropical In its
taste and it's extravagance-a weird
confusion of Bohemia and the Ara bian
Nights. The SpoIls Of the bazaars Of
Algeria and 1Inis lay about the house,
commingled with costly treasures OF
home manu- acture, in a supreme dis
order. and thtre was every embellish-
ment which the caprices of luxur1-
ant and undisciplined imagination
could suggest-gothic turrets. pavil-
ions, minarets. an artificial lake with
an island and a cascade, a picture gal-
lery, a studio. an aviary. a monkey
house. a sta BILE, a bijou theater, kiosk
with a blue ceiling studded with stars
to serve as workroom for the mas
ter, who had the titles of his principal
plays and stories craven conspicuous
ly on the stones of his dwelling.--
Passions of the French Romantics"
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
THE FLY ON THE PANE.
It Will Crawl to the Top, but Will Fly
Back to the Bottom.

A fly on window pane will crawl
to the top, fly back to the bottom and
crawl up again. This order is seldom
reversed-why no one knows. 1t is
on record that a fly crawled up win
dow pane thirty-two times, returning
each time awning.
Hens scratch for food with the sun
behind them, the reason being that the
rays reflect on the minute particles. A
blind hen will pick grain and not miss
Il kernel.
Cats seldom lie with their feet to the
fire. Usually they lie ON the left side.
Dogs lie with their fore paws to the
fire.
A mouse will ignore a food supply
sufficient for meal and run great
risks to nibble at a wholesale supply.
1t will hide at the source Of food sup
ply and not depart therefrorn until ac-
tually disturbed. 1t isn't true that a
mouse runs to it's hole at the first
alarm.
Find harmless little snake the
length Of lead pencil and provide a
box for it In the house, visit it daily
and at the end of three months it will
crawl to you for food
Goldfish usually swim around a globe
to the right. They can be taught to
take fly out of the hand in six weeks
time. The presence of other fish in
the globe is generally ignored by gold
fish. Drop piece of chip on the sur.
face of the water and it will brighten
a fish.
Sheep spend more time grazing than
do cattle and horses. Sheep will eat
for twelve hours out of twenty-four,-
New York World.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Personal Mention
Personal MentiO n

Mr.. John A. Hartman, of near
Staunton, has received his diploma at
the National University Law School
at Washington.
Mrs. Laura G. Props, of San Fran
cisco is visiting her parents Mr.. and
Mrs. d. w. Switzer of near Long
Glade.
Mrs. F. b. Picker is visiting her
son DR.. Walter Picker at Snow Hill.
DR.. Picker is engaged in the crusade
against the hook worm in the state.
Mrs. G. G. Berkeley and children
have returned to Newport News after
visiting relatives here and in the
county.
Mrs. r. A. Arlington and baby
have left for Louisville, KY, after a
visit to DR.. and Mrs. c. P. Eichelber-
ger.
Messrs. G. M. Whitlock and J. A..
Wiseman have gone to Washington
to locate.
Miss Halle Henkel went to Balti-
more yesterday and on Saturday she
will sail from Philadelphia on the
steamer California and will spend the
summer travelling abroad.
Mrs. Leonard Patterson has return
ed to Charlottesville, having come
over to see the havoc the storm
Sunday afternoon wrought in her
fathers grove on Stars Hill.
Mrs. II. L. Baylis and daughters
of Column bia, s. G. are visiting Mr.
and Mrs. Z. NJ Woodward.
Miss Russell George has returned
from an extended visit to friends in
Charlottesville, Farmville, Appomattox
and Lexington, and Miss Erie George
has returned from Charlottesville.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Gold That BIackens.

Blackening of cuffs and shirt fronts
by the rubbed off gold is a matter Of
much annoyance to jewelers. when
their customers come back, thinking
they have bought brass. The skin on
the neck as well as on the fingers
is frequently discolored by fourteen
carat, eighteen carat and. some say,
pure gold. An expert says that even
in the case Of pure gold this colora-
ton of the skin is not due to any par
ticular properties of the metal. but.
rather. is the result OF chemical
changes in the body or, rather. in the
perspiration and natural oil of the
skin.-Exchange.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Mean Advice.

Old Gent-On the eve of your MAJ
rage let me give you niece of advic.
Remember when your wife's mex
birthday comes and give her a hanG
some present.
Young Man-YeS, of course
"Give her the best your pocket ca
buy every birthday. but at Christina
New Years and such times give he
only inexpensive little tokens. ForI.
that habit"
Eyes, but why?"
at will pay"
II presume So
Eyes. In few years you can beeil
to forget the birthdays and she won
say word New York Weekly.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Books and Beaches.

At a sale in New York bibliophile
said:
"Book is a word that comes from the
German buche. or beech. But what
connection has a book got with a
beech? I'll show you"
The bibliophile led the way to su-
perb Caxton that had just been sold
for $500.
This volume, you see," he said, sis
bound in boards-nOt pasteboards-real
boards, beech boards. That is how al!
books were bound when printing be-
gan. Yes, when printing began In Ger
many. each incunabulum. or early
book, was bound in buche-in beech
boards half an inch thick, covered per-
haps with leather. tipped and clasped
with brass and studded with precious
Or semi-precious stones"
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
FIGHTING NATURE.
What One Mans Patient Effort Wrun
From a Desert In France

What One Mans Patient Effort Wrung
From Desert In France.
In the southwest of France, between
the rivers Adour and Garonne, are
long stretches of pine woods, green
and cool.
Where these pines now stand was a
barren waste in the middle of the last
century. Sun and wind We'd with each
other in making the land drier and
dustier. Over the stormy bay of Bis
cay came winds that set up great
sandstorms and sometimes buried
whole villages. The whole region was
one of hopelessness and despair. Fate
was against it.
But finally there came a man who
acknowledged fate only as something
to be overcome. This man, one Bre-
monitor, was an inspector of roads.
He began fencing in the desert He
built fence and behind it planted
broom seeds. Behind the broom seeds
he put seeds of the pine. The fence
protected the broom seeds, and the
broom grew. Then the broom in its
turn afforded shelter to the delicate
pine shoots.
Soon the pines spread, and their
tough roots bound the sandy soil to-
gether. The first step was accomplish
ed Then canals were made to drain
the wet parts and carry water to the
dry.
Thus did one man by patient effort
turn a dreary desert into a home for
an Industrious and healthy population.
It was an instance of triumph over
fata-Naw York Tribune.
Curious Anticipations.
Many peculiar anticipations have
been cited against patent applications.
At one time congressman took the
patent Office lock invented by one of
his rural constituents The lock was
an exact copy of lock figured in
price on Locks" showing the lock
used on gate of ancient Thebes, thou
sands of years before Christ. The con-
gresham, after examining the illustra-
ton which was shown him by one Of
the officers, exclaimed that he didn't
care who that fellow in Thebes was
he certainly stole it from his constltu-
ent On another occasion an applica-
ton for a patent was filed for flower
basket whose construction correspond
ed in detail with the Scriptural descrip-
ton of the ark in which Moses was
placed in the bulrushes, which we are
told in the second chapter Of Exodus
was an ark Of bulrushes daubed with
slime and with pitch. This Is also
probably the first recorded instance Of
a REINFORCED concrete structure.-Sci-
entific American.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
FUN WITH ROYAL INITIALS.
A Pun Ths. Pleased Victoria and One
That Hit Albert Edward.

A Pun Ths. Pleased Victoria and One
That Hit Albert Edward.
Caroline Fox in her memorials I'M
der date of May "a. 1887, Queen Vic
toria's birthday. 5ots down an eyre
gious pun reported by her famous
kinsman, Charles James Fox. "Uncle
Charles dined with us today. He was
delighted and dazzled by the display
on the queens day and mentioned a
right merry bubble perpetrated by my
Lord Albemarle, who on her majesty's
saying, I wonder If my good people
Of London are as glad to see me as
am to see themT pointed out as their
immediate cockney answer to the
query ". r."
Jokes run in cycles. Sixty-fve years
later Edward VII was on the English
throne Sir Walter Parratt, professor
of music at the University of Oxford
was practicing with part of his band
in the music room at Windsor palace,
where all the furniture was covered
with sheets bearing the royal cipher.
Suddenly he turned to the musicians
and said, I'VE all know that the king
Is king. but why Is he?" The men
looked astonished but said nothing.
Because e. R., Of course" chuckled
Sir Walter as he pointed to the ini-
tails around him.
A more humorous Jest of this sort is
found in the Life of Richard 81. Bar
ham," author of the "Ingoldsby Leg
ends" On the night Of Jan. 25, 1912.
the late king Of England was christen-
ed Albert Edward Barham. going
out to see the illumination and observ-
ing in almost every window the in
itials A. E.. heard some one say most
likely it was HIMSELF, "Ah, he'll make
acquaintance with the other three
vowels before he comes of age!'-New
York Tribune.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
NEW PEOPLE ARE RAPIDLY
GOING To GR0TTOES

Grottoes, Virginia, June 5.-M rs.
S. A. Mercer, who was recently
operated upon at the University
Hospital for liver trouble has returned
home and is improving nicely.
Yesterday was Children's day at the
Methodist Church. A beautiful pro-
gram was well rendered. The music
was good and the attendance was
large.
The Crottoes Board of Trade met
recently and elected officers for the
ensuing year, after which the meeting
adjourned to meet again on the Sth.
inst at 8 P. M. for the consideration
of important business.
Mr.. John O. Handbook, OF East
Brady, Pa, who recently purchased
the Bluford Hall property near Grot-
toes, has moved his family co the prop
erty and all seem to be well pleased
with their new home. Mr.. Handbook
expects to raise commercial orchard
of his own planting in addition to the
fine young orchard of over one hundred
improved trees now coming in bearing
and 1000 bearing peach trees. This is
in the fruit belt and will be very
valuable as commercial orchard
proposition as well as pleasant
country home.
Mr.. E. L. Cole and wife, of Chicago,
who have purchased the j. q. Bell
property in The town of Grottoes have
taken possession, and are now greatly
improving and identifying the same.
Mr.. and Mrs. Cole are thoroughly
identifying themselves with our people
and taking an active interest in the
affairs of the town. We are con-
graduating ourselves upon the acquisi-
ton of such worthy citizens and hope
to acquire many more like them.
The Bank of Grottoes is doing an
increasing business and the stock is
steadily increasing in value. A block
of stock was recently sold to nearby
party at a nice premium.
Groetoes has a com bination in a
skating rink, moving picture show
and an ice cream parlor.
Col. R. II. Miller. will open his Black
rock Springs hotel in few days where
he expects to do a good business this
season.
The new macadamized road which
will connect Grottoes with Cave
Station, on the B. & O. and New
Hope, and, we hope, to Staunton is
being pushed right along. This will
be a grand i'm provement to this section
when completed and no doubt Will
bring much business to.Grottoes which
formerly went to other points, There
is also a good prospect for new
bridge at SCOTS Ford, which, when
built will open up a fine territory for
trade here which has been cut off by
The river.
Rev. Isaac n. Campbell, of Lindsay,
Va. has taken possession of the w. l..
Dinsmore property he purchased early
in the Spring. This is a beautiful
country place, near town, where Mr..
Campbell will reside with Instantly,
having retired from the Presbyterian
ministry.
Mr.. BIuford Hall has purchased the
the ]. HI. May property opposite the
Blueridge Mill. Mr.. May has bought
tho property of Charley Randall, near
the public school building.
Grottoes is known all over the
country. Strans ers are seen here every
day. The automobile travel to the
Meyers Cave, as well as thatsby rail, is
assuming considerable proportions.
The recent fine rains have greatly
revived vegetation.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Let Him Stay as He Was,


A well known veterinary surgeon of
Lemberg, Austria, was recently called
to the telephone, when this converse.
ton followed: ss.aist,
Hello! Is this DR.. NJ" M
eyes. What do you wish?"
"My horse is standing stock still on
his hind legs. with his forefeet in the
air. and nothing can make him come
down on. all tours, Did you ever hear
of such a queer case? What shall
do about it,"
"The case is extraordinary" replied
the astonished doctor. Il can give no
opinion without seeing the animal.
Where do you live?"
"Carl-Ludwig strasse." =.
"And your name?" }.
"Sobieski."
Here the doctor rang off and swore
softly at the wag who had fooled him
The horse in question was the bronze
animal which upholds upon its back
the fine equestrian statue of John So
bieski. king Of Poland, which orna-
ments the Carl-Ludwig street in Lem
berg.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Lona Distance Courtship,

Long Instance NourtSnlPs
A lady was one day approached by
her Scotch maid with the information
that she was about to leave. what Is
the cause Of this sudden decision,
Mary?"
II think I'll be a-marryin,."
Indeed. and whom, may ask?"
1.-THE mon that sits across in the kirk
o. Sundays"
"But what is his nameY
II dinna KEN"
What! You're surely not, engaged
to a man whose name you do not
knowv
"Not engaged, my lady, but he's ben
lang look1n' at me, an think he'll
soon be speakin'."-Housekeeper.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Matchmaking In Roumania.

In Roumania once every year is fair
Of marriagea Bile girls. The girl, with
her relations, gets into wagon. which
also contains her dowry-linen, furni-
ture and household matters-and all
set off for the fair. When they arrive
the girls are drawn up in one line and
the merlin another, with their parents
behind them. Then If a young man
likes the look of any PARTICULAR girl he
talks to her while the parents COM
pare notes as to their possessions and
their circumstances in life. If all Is
found satisfactory there's a marriage
at once, and the bride is driven away
by her husband to her new home.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
A Story of Daniel Drew,

When Sir Morton Peto visited this
country with large assortment OF
railroad schemes in his head he gave
a grand dinner, at which old Daniel
Drew was present When the com
pany were in good humor Sir Morton
developed his plans in detail and die
it very plausibly. Drew listened to the
end and then, turning to the gentle
man sitting next to him. remarked
I'VE amt goin' to do none O. them ere
things" That ended 1t.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09

Golfer (who has at last holed QUIT
How many is that. seventeen or
eighteen? Superior Caddie iwearily)-
] dinna ken. Golfer-What! Haven't
you been counting? Superior Caddie-
Mon, as fer countin.' it's no caddie
yer wantin'; it's clerk!-London An
swerS.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Globe Trotters Plus.

A number of tourists were recently
looking down the crater of Vesuvius
An American gentleman said to his
companion:
"That looks a good deal like the in
fernal regions"
An English lady, overhearing the re
mark, said to another:
"GOod gracious, how these Ameri
cans do travelw
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
POPE IS AGAIN Ill

Rome, June Z Pope Pins is again
lndlsposed,t this time Is q result of the
leat. The Pope again refused to obey
the Instructions of his physicians and
1eld audiences despite the orders to
the contrary.
Despite the official assurances of the
Ioctors at ths Vatican that few
iays' conplste rest will completely
restore the health of the Pope, there
is feeling Of uneasines1 on acc punt
II the advanced aga of the Pontiff
and his continual refusal to opey his
physicians.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
Quite a Criminal.

IT suppose there's none Of us better
than we should be-"
Indeed. no. | was thinking 1t over
last night Why. only yesterday l was
guilty of killing time, numbering a
tune. smothering yawn, stealing a
kiss, cutting @ creditor and breaking
into perspiration. Tit-Bits.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
A Chance of Mans,

word pendulum" asked the teacher.
Little Rachel's hand shot up. The
teacher nodded encouragingly.
lightning was invented by Penju-
lum Franklin. EVERY body's.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-06-09
A Candid Suitor.

"Can you support my daughter in
good style"
"I'll do my best, sir. 1 must admit,
however, that we shall have to buy
the furniture upon the installment
plan" Herald.