davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
THE CosT OF DISEASES.

A pointed discussion of the Cost of
Our Preventable Diseases is contain
ed in the August bulletin of the kan
sas State Board OF Health, just is
sued. It is provided by DR.. Charles
A. l. Reed and is as follows:
mans life is his capital What he
earns is his interest on his capital.
Then suppose a man work 900 days
in a year, at $1.25 a day. and that his
money thus earned, $375 a year, repre-
sents per cent on his capital, which
on that basis would amount to ST.
500: then multiply this by 10000 for
tuberculosis. 10000 for typhoid, and
so on through the list which foots up
to a quarter of a million and add it
all together, and you will only have
begun. You are to add to this the
loss of productive energy of something
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
QUAKER NlEDITAT1oNs.

GFrom the Philadelphia Record.I
The days will be getting shorter be-
fore long.
In being collared most of us prefer
haberdasher to a policeman.
The man who loves peace should al
ways be willing 20 fight Tor II.
The fellow who is fond Of using the
capital I isn't always capitalized.
The engaged girl feels that she can't
have too many strings to her beau.
Tell some people they are half-wit-
ted, and they ought to feel nattered-
No, Maude, dear: an anchorite is not
a sailor who attends to the anchor.
A pessimist Is a man who can't for
get the mean things he knows about
himself
The small boy who eats a green ap-
ple may also show an Infinite capacity
for taking pains.
NeII-"I can read him like a book"
BELIEVES, but he's such small type
of man 1 should think II would ruin
your eyes"
Buegins-"My father Is over so years
cid and has never used glasses" Guz-
zlcr-"Alwsys drinks from the bottle
eh 2s'
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
L6YH-AWKER .JOTS

The Clyde Republican thinks that
the Chicago woman, who says her face
powder costs $400 year, must have
a lot of cheek.
Tt is said that keeping the mouth
shut will prevent snoring, notes Mack
Gretchen and he adds: It will also
prevent a good many other things.
A good many Americans have worn
King AlphonSo hats, points out the Sa-
lima Journal, but few would care to be
in King AIphonso's shoes just now.
More impertinence from the Law
renee Gazette: It wants to know how
many railroads the Kansas City boat
line has put out of business up to the
present time.
Noticing that a Wichita man has in
vented a beet harvester, Tom Morgan
wants to know If it can be adapted to
the collection of subscription accounts
from newspaper dead beats"
Hiawatha thinks it is entitled to a
little more distinction because it has in
its midst gentleman who gets shaved
every day in the week except Satur-
day. and then he gets shaved twice,
once IN the morning and once in the
evening
1t is to be hoped, says the Leaven-
worth Times, that a result of this
movement to better the social life of
the woman on the farm will not be to
provide her with a cook. There's moth
ing in the world to equal the dinner of
A Seneca man walked down the
street one day this week with every
pocket bulging. you've got the wrong
idea,' he said to some friends who fol-
lowed him to his place of business.
''Those are not bottles; they are hand
kerchiefs; I've got the hay fever. -
Osborne Farmer.
A Kansas boy, son of parents whose
wealth runs into six figures, came to
Manhattan last week to enter college,
relates the Manhattan Mercury. Twen-
ty-four hours after he was in town he
had secured a job paying $1.00 day.
The job required that he wear overalls
and a coarse blue shirt but that made
no difference to him. In town there is
a widow who supports her family by
keeping boarders. She works hard
from o'clock in the morning until 0
o'clock at night. This widow has a
big, able bodied son who puts in half
his time sleeping and rest of the time
loafing about the house. He complains
that there are no opportunities in this
town for young man.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
Nrore TitIes for King,s sons.

The admission to the order of the
Garter of the kings second son, Prince
Albert, will take place next year. and
will be as brilliant a ceremony as that
of the recent investiture Of the Prince
of Wales with the order.
The Dukes of Argyll and Fife are,
it is understood, also to be admitted to
the order when a convenient time can
be arranged, but there will be no great
ceremonial as in the case of the young
princes.
The Prince of Wales viii be made
a Knight of the Thistle and st. Patrick
in due course, but as Is the case with
the many foreign decorations (such as
the order of the Black Eagle and the
Order Of ST. Andrew, which are the
honors to be conferred on him by the
German emperor and the emperor Of
Russia, respectively, the young prince
will not receive these decorations till
he is 81.
The king has also chosen titles for
his Younger sons, which he will be-
stow upon them in due time. Several
Of the old ducal titles now extinct are
to be revived for the royal children
London Daily Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
a Ffsh. a Ring, and a Toe.

A fish that was too small to take
home and a girl with a Cinderella
foot figured very oddly in the loss and
recovery of a wedding ring that Mrs
Harvey Wilson, wife OF a Pottstown
undertaken, dropped in Saylor's mill
dam. over in Chester county, several
DAYS ago. The ring slipped from Mrs.
wilson's finger when she tossed dim
fnutive bass back into the dam. The
water was partly drawn Off in a vain
effort to find it, and then the offering
OF a reward for the missing jewelry
made the juveniles of the neighbor-
hood get busy.
While a party of them were wading
the dam today a 14-year-old girl felt
something slip over one of her toes.
She imagined that it was a snake and
gave a scream, but an examination
showed that it was Mrs. Wilson's lost
wedding ring, and she hurried to town
with it to receive the reward.-Potts-
town dispatch to Philadelphia Record
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFron the Atchison Globe

From the Atch1SOn Globe.l
For most people, the lecture course
is usually long enough.
One who writes good love letters is
also apt to practice too much.
Some men are in great hurry all
the time they are not at work.
You will observe, also, that the
pinch hitter occasionally strikes out.
Most horses are lively enough to
gain a little energy on the return trip.
About all that can be said in favor
of motorcycle racing is that it is dan
gerous.
Neither does dignity depend on the
Prince Albert coat as much as it used
to.
Almost any sober man can whip a
drunken man, and more of them
should do it.
Even Society girls sometimes inag-
haps they are.
In this fat country. few men get
hungry enough to classify the German
carp as food fish.
While practice makes perfect, that
isn't sufficient excuse for whistling the
same tune all the time.
A good many people continue to ex-
pect q good deal of depreciation from
the great equinoctial storm.
1t isn't often that the roll in a reg
istered letter is large enough to re-
quire postage due stamp.
Air navigation will have to go some
distance yet before it is likely to be
classified as the easiest way.
In view of their well-known nose
for bargains, it is strange that so many
more women patronize agents.
AS a general rule, the Old Flag is
better able to take care of itself than
your more immediate business.
It takes a lot of nerve for a womaa
to wear some of the new style hats,
but they have it all right.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The drawbacks to compliments are
that SO few of them are sincere.
Y X y
Kicking a man when he is down is
somewhat of a favorite pastine with
many folk.
X X X
Because chess is a game calling for
the application of much intellect, that's
probably the reason so many people
have little use for it.
X X X
What has become of the old-fash-
ioned young man who used to insist on
singing Rocked in the Cradle Of the
Deep" wherever he happened to be at
a party?
X X y
Many a woman is never happy until
she gets husband and then she soon
begins TO act like she would not be
happy again until she gets rid of him.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

every one the little terrier flung him
self on Stanley as he had at the sta
ton and lavished frantic greetings on
him. 1t was plainly evident to all that
Mrs Langhorne's pet dog knew Col
Burton intimately
Mrs. Hampton.s blue eyes shone
with appreciative enjoyment. Cres-
sida had risen. and her face was pale.
" e are only waiting for you. Stan
ley, said his sister amusedIy. Won't
you take Mrs. Langshorne in to dinner,
Just for minute they two stood
alone on the terrace while the others
moment. only Isabelle's quick diplo-
smiled.
Grip is loyal" he said. quietly. he
does not deny his old friends
There was nothing else to do she
answered quickly. 'It was agreed be-
tween us-a year ago-and-and had
forgotten the dog
$50 had I. God bless him. rnur-
INJURED Burton. True blue, wasn't he,
Cress? did not know when I gave
him to you-a year ago-that he would
remember me after even you had for
gotten
Il have not forgotten she retorted
passlonately. Let us go in. We are
late now
Wait. Shall go back to New York
tonight, for fear"
Of what?" she challenged.
Ihat Grip may remember the night
She hesitated Slowly she turned
toward him and held out her hands.
VIII De here a week" she said,
II you care to stay-for Grips sake"
1911, by Associated Lit
erary Press.)
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
HUHOR or TIE DAY

Stranger (to Mrs. Rooney)-what beauti-
tui children you have, ma'ami Mrs.
Hogan (from the floor above)-Phat's that
slob sellin'. Mrs. RoOney?-Puck.
How did you spend your two-week
vacation Recovering from Bunburn
the first week and poison Ivy the second"
Washington Star.
Profitable.-''You say Garston made a
complete confession2 What did he Ret-
five years2'' mo. $50 He confessed 20
the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
Artist-This is my painting, Youth in
the Melon Patch" Critic-But where are
the melons? Artist-What a foolish ques-
tion!-Toledo Blade.
First Imp-Ananias won't be 80 lonely
now. Second Imp-Why? First Imp
There's a theatrical press agent coming
tomorrow.-Puck.
white-Have you any trouble in making
both ends meet? Green-Not a bit. The
efnd OF my money and the end OF the
week always comes at the same time
Harper's Bazar.
Who's the author Of the novel you are
reading?" There's no name given Due
to modesty, I suppose2" mo: fear.
should call it."-Boston Transcript.
why. how do you do, my dear slr2"
Y GU can't Just place me, can your "Oh,
yes, indeed. You are Mr.. Bjenks. whom
meet in the humorous paragraphs nearly
every day. y."-Buffalo Express.
Mr.. Cleaver, how do you account for
the fact that found a piece Of rubber
tire in one Of the sausages bought here
last week2' MY dear madam, that only
goes to show that the motor car IS re-
placing the horse everywhere. New
York Times.
when I was a young man." said Mr..
Cumrox, Il thought nothing OF working
twelve or fourteen hours a day"
Father" replied the young man with
sporty clothes. Il wish you wouldn't mem
ton ii. Those nonunion sentiments are
liable to make you unpopular"
Have you any ancestors. Mrs. Kelly2''
asked Mrs. O'Brien. "PhWats ancis-
tors?" "Why, people you sphrung from"
% Listen to me. Mrs. O'Brien," said Mrs.
Kelly impressively. "Oi come from the
rale sthock av Donahues that shprinE
from nobody. They sphring at thim."-
Catholic Tribune.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Crumblne says to swat the fly,
I've punched his wind and hiffed his eye;
And when these gentle means did fail,
I tried to put salt on his tail.
And still the Mr.. Fly doth come
And in my ear doth hum and hum
Sometimes he lights upon my nose.
And ere I swat away he goes;
And on nine-foor ceiling high
How can I. can I swat the fly?
Back again he comes, B-z-z zipl
And plants his stinger in my lip,
And while I'm smarting with the pain
Sir Fly, he hits the trail again
Wildly charge upon his track
To find him crawling up my back:
If ere I should so lucky be
To kill one, or two. or three,
Immediately upon the scene(
All his relations can be seen,
Who to the funeral have come
With their insistent hum and hum.
At meals. cavorting through the air.
where;
And daubs up everything I eat
With his most filthy, filthy feet
And every time he hits the plate,
(The one from which my food I ate,)
I say it in no idle terms,
He plants about ten million germs.
Ten million bug1etsl Oh despair
He got those germs-the Lord knows
where.
If Dr. Crum this case would reach,
Then he must condescend to teach:
Not how to add or multiply.
Or how to live or how to die,
Or sail our air-ships through the sky,
But teach us how to swat the fly
MRS. W. S. KENYON,
Jetmore, Kansas.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


Ifrom the chicago NeWs-l
If you would shoot the rapids use a
gunboat.
Some neighbors don't like it unless
you talk about them.
The world doesn't ask how you got
there after you arrive.
But many a college graduate avoids
the disgrace OF dying rich.
Some people ride in airships and somo
others are highty by nature.
Some men think they are ambitious
if they try TO avoid hard work.
A pitcher isn't necessarily broken
when he is knocked out OF the box.
II a man wants to pose as a martyr
he can always find an opportunity.
II a man doesn't look out for himself
he viii never be able TO get a look-in.
You can borrow the last cent a fat
woman has If you WIN only praise her
figure.
When a man gets too respectable to
enjoy life he is due to give the under
talker a job.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Another movement to evangelist the
world Is being financed. Evangoli4ing
the world Is a favorite indoor sport,
and costs from SO to $50 per evans.
The New York police commissioner
thinks that $4,000 per annum would
be about right for his salary This
would indicate that the popular Inn
preston that New York police Off
cials consider the salary an insignifi-
cant side line, is IN some instances
erroneous.
Abbott IS back. Which reminds
one,-or several,--that Abb could have
home team this season. He would
have stolen an occasional base or two,
thereby entertaining the visitors when
they became wearied with running
around the diamond
The key hole is Just as hard TO find
after marriage as It was before, but
the unmarried man didn't give the
matter sufficient effort; he wasn't
afraid to wait for daylight 30 he could
see the key hole.
An optimist can find bright spots
in bucketful Of mud: and a cheerful
married man can get some satisfac-
ton from the suspicion that, with the
newest thing in hobble skirts. his wife
but hat.
''Td almost be willing TO disguise
myself as a battle ship" said a To-
peka drought-sufferer the other day,
in the hopes that someone would
take notion to christen me by break
ing a bottle Of booze over my nose"
Now that an official count has been
made, the editors who wrote alarm"
editorials about the Maine election.
could use them to good advantage, but
the trouble is, many OF these burning
compositions have been rounded up BY
the janitor while the returns were In
favor of the drys.
HOP
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
FROM OTHER PENS
PRINTING THE NEWs

The contract which a newspaper
makes with it's readers is to give them
the news Not merely such news as
may be agreeable for all of them to
read, but 'all the news all the time"
That such news should be clothed in
proper language goes without saying.
but it should not be suppressed because
it's publication might offend the man
ufactured taste of diIettante readers.
An account of a cyclone a railroad
accident or the burning or sinking of
a steamer involving the loss of human
life is not pleasant reading, but it is
news. The fact that Manuel lost the
crown of Portugal because of a liaison
with a dancer ought no more to be cut
out of the cable dispatches than the
orgies of Nero should be excluded from
history of the Roman empire.
There may have been Christians
whose sensibilities were shocked when
they read in the daily journals that
the General Presbyterian Synod had
stricken the doctrine of infant damna-
tion from their church creed. But
should that news have been suppress
ed because its publication might have
been detrimental to orthodoxy? Should
the Times have stricken out the press
dispatches containing the report of the
Hams divorce case or the defense OF
Beattie, who is on trial charged with
the murder of his wife, or the COM
plafnt of Mrs. Upton Sinclair because
the latter news might hurt the feel
ings of socialists or the former might
offend the esthetic sense of divorced
people?
It is an error to suppose that reading
an account OF a murder develops homi-
cidal tendencies, or an account Of
fight fosters combative predisposlt1ons
in a man, or an account of the actions
of a shopIifter inclines matrons to steal
from the counter of a department. store
Considered on ethical grounds alone,
it is the experience of mankind thaE
publicity is a deterrent of crime rather
than an incentive to its preparation.
The lesson taught by publicity is that
the way of the transgessor is hard, that
detection is always imminent, and that
punishment follows perpetration.-I<os
Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21
REFLECTIONS or A BACHELOR
TFrom the New York Press.l

When the house is in pandemonium.
it's a sign father is catching a train.
A man will neglect his business for
three days trying to get his taxes
down 81.
When the devil sees a family quarrel
he lays in an extra supply of coal for
them.
When a mans old pipe won't draw.
it's worse to him than a woman's
losing her wedding ring.
A woman can manage to look half
way presentable in most anything but
white stockings splattered with mud.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

FILL, LEASED WIRE REPORT
or TFTE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the state Journal
rsxr9v from homo during the summer
NAV have the paper naaiAed regularly
each day to any address at the rAse q
sg9v1 1~nfa a week or thirty cents
r1onth (by mail only. Address
changed as often as desired. White
csV-f Of town the State journal viii be
90 Fou Ike daily leCter from home.
idvance payment is requested or
sfeso short dine subscriptions to save
Bookkeeping expenses
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

This man known as White is declared
to have been identified as KimmeI by
some Of the 1atter's former friends at
Niles, Michigan But Kimmel's mother
insists that the fellow is not her son,
and she ought to know Even s25, 600
worth Of insurance would not cause a
mother to deny her son. And how does
this White explain away his dark eyes.
KimmeTs eyes were blue.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

The latest transcontinental pedes-
trian journey has the backing Of Har-
ward university. Two young men have
been sent out by the physical director
Of that institution One is to subsist
on a meat diet during the trip, and the
other on vegetables, principally beans.
This test is being made to determine
the relative values OF meat and
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Labor disturbances in Spain are said
to be a mere cloak to a vigorous up
rising of the revolutionists. Certain
prophets are expressing the opinion
that Alphonso's throne is endangered.
They seem to forget that Alphonso's s
queen is a member of the reigning
family of Great Britain. AMI Great
Britain looks after her own in what
ever station they may be.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

A National League pennant is looked
upon in Chicago as the greatest prize
in the world when the Cubs have a
chance Of winning il. But listen to the
present sentiment OF Chicagoans as ex-
pressed by the Chicago Record-Her-
aid: ''It begins to look as if nothing
but a railroad smash-up would keep
the despicabIe giants from winning
the wholly unimportant National
League remnant"
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Isn't it a trifle peculiar that this man
who claims to be the long-missing
Kimmel should blame his mysterious
disappearance on one man who is dead
and another who is in a California
prison and who has such an extensive
criminal record that his word on any
subject would be discredited, even if he
cared to admit another crime against
hfu1selF7
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

A branch organization Of the Anti
Horse Thief association has been
formed in Topeka. On It's roster are
many gentlemen of prominence both at
home and abroad. So few are the horse
thieves in this neck of the woods that
If the members of this organization
hope to keep their hand in, they'll have
TO devote their energies to rounding up
the 'sjoy-riders."
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

The new movement to evangelize the
nation is backed by many of the coun-
try's millionaires. And that they are
needed as angels for the endeavor is
beyond a doubt. The activities of
evangelists of late years have demon
strated that it costs a considerable sum
TO Save a soul, in this fashion.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

That farcical primary in the Second
congressional district to nominate a
Republican candidate for the house of
representatives savored of anything
but being Of the mob variety Less
than 10 per cent of the Republicans in
the district took the trouble to par
ticipate in it
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

vegetable diet for physical endurance
And # the test should go against beans,
It is likely that the people Of Boston
win cross the Charles river In mob
and wipe Harvard out Of existence.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

BY enjoining the keepers of a res
taurant in Des Moines from frying on
ions upon the ground that the odor
was a nuisance to the tenants of
neighboring Office building, mostly
lawyers, Judge de Graft, of that city,
has placed himself in the path of edu-
cationaI progress.
It is foolish to argue that the odor
of fried onions is seriously objection
able to properly cultivated nostrils-
For the odor of raw onions, especially
when it is mingled with the odor of
the whisky of plain people, which is
corn whisky, which is probably the
honestest of all whiskies, we present
no defense, but for a judge to say that
the American people, when they con-
duct restaurants, shall not fry onions
without constructing before hand a
cUuningly contrfved chimney, at con-
siderable expense, to carry the odors
away, is an infractfon of popular rights
and is doubtless inhibited by the De-
claration of ndependence--Colum
Is. CD State.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Hunting big game also comes high.
as is evidenced by the cost of the
Roosevelt expedition into Africa. Still
it IS likely that the colonel had more
than $50. 600 worth of fun, If he did
have to pay only two-flfths of the
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

So prompt and voluminous are the
replies between Germany and France
in their conversation over Morocco,
that each of the governments must
have the services of a veritable Dave
nnlr-
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Nearly everybody in these parts is
certain that an exceedingly cold win
ter is on its way. Preparations are be-
ing made accordingly. And wouldn't
it be just like the weather man to
fo11 ,e,,, .
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Union bakers in the east have begun
q fight against the bread trust. They
have sufficient dough to erect a string
OF bakeries which will cost $4,000
earh
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Profitable.-''You say Garston made a
complete confession7 What did he get
five years2" mo, $50. He confessed &c
the magazines."-Pu
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Stranger (to Mrs. Rooney)- What beauti-
ful children you have, maiami Mrs
Hogan Ctrom the floor above)-Phat's that
slob sellin'. Mrs RoOney?-Puck.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

How did you spend your tvo-week
vacation Recovering from sunburn
the first week and poison ivy the second
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Artist-This is my painting youth ia
the Melon Patch" Critic-But where are
the melons? Artist-What a foolish ques-
tion!-Toledo Blade.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

Another movement to evangelist the
world is being financed. Evangeli2ing
the world is a favorite indoor sport,
and costs from SO to $50 per evang.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-21

First Imp-Ananias won't be 40 lonely
now. Second Imp-Why2 First Imp
There's theatrical press agent coming
tomorrow.-Puck.