davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
A Frank Reply.

Walter l. Smith, who recently be.
came Judge of the Eighth judicial cir
cult, enjoys a good story even when it
IS at his own expense. He had a
warm contest in the primaries when
he was candidate for reelection to
congress in 1910, his opponent being
one of the insurgents. He had few
votes to spare for the nomination.
Before the election" said Judge
Smith, Il wrote letter to all the Re-
publicans in the district. In it l urged
them to come out and vote, saying
that 5000 Republicans failed to vote
at the primaries and that If they
failed to vote on election day it might
mean disaster to the party. l asked
the person to whom the letter was ad-
dressed to vote and also to get his
neighbors to do the same. closing with
the statement that it would be great
help to the Republican party and l
should regard it as personal favor to
myself.
among the replies l received was a
copy of my own letter with blue
pencil mark round the words 1900
Republicans failed to vote at the pri-
maries.' and this written at the bot
tom, It's 49, good thing for you
they did"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
A Disturbed Taste.

The neighbors having dropped in in
formally upon the Suthrons during the
evening, Mrs. Suthron suggests that if
her husband will gather some mint
from the mint bed in the garden she
will mix fur them Il genuine Kentucky
julep. Mr.. Suthron, who has INDUCED
in a matter Of seven or eight genuine
Kentucky juleps prior to the arrival
of the guests. goes willingly in search
of the desired garnishment for the
drink. He remains in the garden quite
awhile. and finally the others go out to
ascertain what causes the delay.
why don't you bring the mint
DEAR" his wife calls.
From somewhere in the darkness
comes the testy response:
Jane I've eaten my way twice
around this lot. I've chewed geranium
leaves. grass, catnip. tulips. onions.
sage and burdock. but blamed if l can
find sprig Of mint anywhere. Ma
tional Monthly.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
GROTESQUE NAMES.
0urdens That Innocent English Chill.
drer Had to Bear.
All N. 18th st.

ourdens That Innocent English Chill.
drer Had to Bear.
In England, as in other countries,
thousands OF people go through life
cherishing II grudge against their par
ents for giving them absurd or incon-
gruous names. 1t was most natural
that a demure and pretty girl in a
north suburb should feel resentfuI
when she had to answer to the name
Of Busybody. given in honor Of the
winner Of a race fifteen years before.
Among the names registered at Son.
erset House are Airs and Graces and
Nun Nicer. which were innocently
borne by two little girls who found
them most embarrassing in after years.
The appalling name of Wellington
Wolseley Roberts was borne by Il
young man who. in disposition and ap-
pearance. was anything but militant.
and as little likely to win fame on
the battlefield us his predecessors Ar
thur Wellesley Wellington Waterloo
Cox and Napoleon the Great Eagar.
However. even these names. map.
propriate as they may be. are to be
preferred to Roger the Ass. Anna (sic)
Domini Davies and Boadicea Basher.
To parents Of large families the ad
vent Of another child is not always
welcome. but 1t Is scarcely kind to
make the unexpected child bear a tok-
en- OF disapproval. 1t must be rather
terrible to so through life. for exam
pie. as Not Wanted James. What An.
other. Only Fancy William Brown. or
even as Last Of EN- Harper, or Still
Another Hewitt. And yet these are
oil names which the foolish caprice
Of British parents has imposed on in.
nocent children.-Chicago Record Her
nd.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
LIMITS VISITS OF
A MEDITERRANEAN
Eastern Judge Holds that
Ten Days Is Long Enough
for Her Sojourn.

New York, July 9.-Magistrate Nc
CURE in the Flatbush court fixed ten
days as the limit for visits for moth
ers-inlaw. The case in point was that
in which young Mrs May Coyle had
summoned her mother-in-law, also
Mrs. May Coyle. a resident of Boston,
to court on a charge of disturbing her
domestic peace and happiness.
Harry Coyle, son of Mrs. Coyle, of
Boston, sat back in the rear of the
court room and never opened his
mouth. His pretty young wife did all
the talking and painted her mother-in-
law as 'kill-joy" and a "czarina."
She came down from Boston ten
days ago. said the younger Mrs.
Coyle, land took charge of everything.
Every time I opened my mouth she
squelched me. l didn't know how to
cook; | didn't know how to wash the
baby; l didn't know how to do this,
that, or the other thing She broke all
our rules and made new ones: she
told us how they did things in Boston,
=
Finally she turned my husband
against me, and l had to take myself
and my baby home to mother. l tele-
phoned her to go home but she re-
fused
Mother-n-Law on Stand.
MOther-in-law Coyle said her daugh-
terin-law was exaggerating.
How long have you been here?"
asked Magistrate Mcclure.
Ten days." replied Mrs. Coyle Sr.
Ten days is long enough for any
mother-in-law to hold possession" re-
piled the court. Ten days should be
the limit for all mothers-fn-law. While
mothers-in-law are more or less a nee
essary institution it is possible for
them to become an evil through fail
ure to use discretion. Mothers-in-law
are constitutionally 'bossy' There are
exceptions, l admit; but they are few
1t seems to be their exquisite function
to domineer and tread upon the feel
ings of their daughters-in-law. They
seem to forget that they once were
daughters-in-law and had mothers-in-
law inflicted upon them.
Urges Use of Letters.
"Mothers-in-law would be far better
appreciated if they would shorten
their visits and contine most of their
intercourse with their sons and daugh-
ters' families to postal cards and note
paper"
Il will use telegraph blanks hereaf-
ter" said Mrs. Coyle Sr.
Good" said the court, land l would
advise you to take the first train home
to Boston if you have any regard for
your sons future happiness"
Il will take the next and fastest
| train home" said Mrs. Coyle acidly.
Il have a fine home in Boston, which
is the finest city in the world. 1t is the
home of culture and refinement"
His honor bowed to Mrs. Coyle Sr
Mrs. Coyle Sr. gnored the bow, swung
around on her heel, and marched
quickly out of court. Mrs. Coyle Jr,
thanked the judge. smiled happily and
hurried to the side of her young hus-
band who had been perspiring freely
and looked as if he were haunted by
some secret sorrow.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
is READY
TO FIGHT STRIKERS

Cardiff. Wales. July 1a-Six hun
strike duty here today following yes
terday's four hour battle with rioters
in which many were severely dubbed
by the officers. The local police force
was recruited by detail of l2o Lon
don police today. The striking dock
workers are threatening further dis
order and the police and troops have
been ordered TO suppress outbreaks of
violence at any cost. The situation is
serious.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
Kent on Eeeiino Rad.

Judge W. G. Adamson, chairman OF
the committee on interstate and for
eign commerce in the house Of repre-
sentatives, was brought UP on a farm
in Georgia. One day his father told
him he must go to Atlanta for three
days, and he set young Adamson a
stint to hoe "a field of ground peas
during the parental absence, thinking
to keep the young man busy.
Il went out and looked over the
field the first morning. said Adam
son, land decided l could do the work
in two days, SO l went fishing. l had
poor luck and came back feeling
mighty bad. Next morning l went
out and looked at the peas and decid-
ed if l worked like fury l could hoe
1t all in one day, and l went fishing
again. l had no luck and came back
feeling mighty bad.
Next morning l took another look
at the field, decided l couldn't hoe it
in day and went fishing again.
had poor luck and came back feeling
mighty bad. Then father came home,
saw the field and led me to the barn"
We'll" Representative Hughes of
Georgia said. what .happened?"
Why Adamson said. Il argued the
case, but l had poor luck and came
back feeling mighty bad."-Saturday
Evening Post.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
WAS CONGRATULATED
Judge Pryor Is Honored on
His Birthday.
National News Association

New York, July 1a-Judge Roger A
Pryor, for many years a justice of the
supreme court of New York and one
of the best known figures in the pub
lie life of this city, received the con
gratulaticns of host OF friends today
on his eightythird birthday anniver-
sary. Judge Pryor is one of the few
surviving generals of the Confederate
States Army. After serving one term
as member of the Confederate Con
gress he entered the Southern army
and continued in active service until
taken prisoner of war in the final year
of the conflict. After the war he set
tied in New York and engaged in the
practice of law.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
Problem OF the Electric Eel,

Invention during the next two OF
three centuries will probably be in the
direction OF initiating the wonderful
economy and the simple direct methods
Of nature. says Professor John G.. Nc,
Kendrick. Take the electric eel. Its
electric organ is in no sense a storage
battery, but a continuance by which
electric energy Is liberated at the mo,
ment when It is required At rest the
organ shows so small an electromotive
force that a good galvanometer is re-
quired to detect it. but a sudden nerv-
GUS impulse from the cells spinal cord
raises a potential Of many volts with
very little heat aud so small an ex.
penditure of matter as to defy the
most expert chemist to weigh 1t.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
POPULATION CENTER
Of Country Located in Ind
lana Corn Field.

Bloomington. Ind. July 1a,-Prof A.
F. Cogshall head OF the astronomy de-
partment of Indiana university, has
definitely located the center OF the
population of the United States. on tho
Samuel stephens farm, six miles east
of this city in Monroe county. The site
is near the neutrality-suspicious.
pike If the measurement is correct, in
a beautiful little valley of Salt Creek
township, now filled with tasselins
corn. Stephens was notified of the
unusual fame that has come to his
farm, and markers are being erected
by local newspapers.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
Mutual Oistrust.

On one occasion Daniel Webster was
on his way to Washington and was
compelled to proceed at night by stage
from Baltimore. He had no travelling
companion, and the driver had a sort
of felon look, which produced no in
considerable alarm in the senator. Il
endeavored to tranQuilize myself" said
Mr.. Webster. and had partly succeed
ed when we reached the dark woods
between Bladensburs and Washington,
a proper scene for murder or outrage,
and here, confess, my courage again
deserted ME. Just then the driver
turned to me and with a gruff voice
inquired my name. l gave it to him.
Where are you going?' said he. The
reply was: To Washington. l am a
senator Upon this the driver seized
me fervently by the hand and ex-
claimed: How glad l am! took you
for a highwayrnan"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
LAYS CORNER STONE
King Figures in Ceremony at
Edinburgh Today.
National News Association

Edinburgh. July 19.-The leading
feature of this, the third day of the
royal visit to Edinburgh. was the at
tendance of the King and Queen this
afternoon at the laying OF the corner
stone for Usher Hall. an institution
to be built from a donation by the late
Andrew Usher. the noted distiller. and
which is 10 be utilized chiefly to pro-
mote the cultivation of music. This
morning the King attended historic
St, Giles Cathedral and officiated at
the dedication OF the chapel of the
Thistle.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
An Open Air Hotel,

A man from the west was looking
for friend in New York who had
gone wrong He heard his friend had
been sleeping on the benches in Bryant
park and went over there to look for
him. There were a good many unfor-
tunates on the bench hes, but the par.
ticular friend the westerner wanted to
find was not there. However, the
westerner did find another man from
his own town whom he knew and who
knew the man for whom he was
searching.
where's JoneS?" asked the west
erner. prodding the man he knew.
"Aw." replied the hobo sleepily. "he
amt come In yet."-New York Sun.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19

The -
Scrap Book
Converting q Skeptie.

David Hume, the famous Scottish
philosopher and skeptic, once for a
short time involuntarily posed as an
out and out Christian, and the story
Of very temporary conversion TO or
thodoxy is amusing.
Having fallen into a swamp at the
back Of Edinburgh castle, he called for
assistance to woman who was pass
ing. At first she took no notice, but
presently she asked:
Are ma We Hume, the atheist!"
"Weel, weel, no matter" Hume said
"Christian charity commands you to
do good to every one"
"Christian charity here or Christian
charity there" the woman said, I'll
do naething for you till you turn a
Christian yourself-ye maun repeat
the Lords Prayer and the Greed or
faith I'll let ye grafel (groveD there as
found ye."
And he had to repeat them.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
4 Court Fools joke.

Scogan, the famous court jester of
Edward w., dearly loved a practical
joke. Once he borrowed money of the
king and when the day for payment
came was unable to make good his
word. He feared the kings anger and
decided to appease him by a joke.
Feigning death, he had his friends
carry his body before Edward. The
king fell ready victim to the decep-
ton and in his lamentations over the
supposed dead fool said he freely for
gave the debt Scogan Immediately
sprang to his feet, exclaiming. THE
news is so revivifying that it has
called me back to life"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
bAv|S COMPLAINS
DILL HAS FAILED
TO SUBMIT FACTS
No Reply Made to Questions
on Complex Features of
the Proposed Amendments
to Water Franchise.
CONTINUED from Page One.)

vestment of this kind will reach a
considerable sum each year"
"A proper charge for depreciation
for the last 6 years was determined by
Mr.. Dabney II. Maury.
II is apparent therefore Mr.. Dill that
the $68,693.O2 depreciation which is
made to cover "a years was never
meant to cover more than 6 years
with the result that $206,079.06 is add
ed to the value of the plant unlawfully.
Value of the Plant
Of depre citation, according to Mr..
Maury's report. Is 1865, 1886, from
which you have deducted S6S,693. or,
for depreciation. when as "A matter OF
fact that amount only represents 6
years, or one fourth of what should be
shown as representing depreciation,
viz: $224,772,0S which places the val
aution 1ess going valued at $390,S13.-
So.
Mr.. Dill how does that measure up
with your standard OF square deal?
A raised bottom in that measure, don't
you think so?
The $70O,OOO.O0 valuation stands out
as a phenomena in view OF the further
statement OF your auditor who says:
THE capital stock issued and out
standing was $375000.00 July /. 1909,
being the total authorized issue.
Apart from the possibility that this
stock sold below par. 1t would be in
teresting to know what brand of fertili-
ing was used to give it such creative
power. as to make possible a plant
worth $7OO,OOO.O0.
Further confirmation is given to the
suggestion that large part OF that
500, 100000 Is artificial, for your audi
tor states that the original investment
was $2s3,216.O4.
Depreciation Of Pipes
That / am not mistaken in my con-
clusions regarding the amount that
should represent depreciation is cor
federated in the item of pipes and
mains which represents $120,36S7O
with depreciation of $7,350.00. If the
life of pipes and mains is 100 years
and the same has been in use % years
then there is depreciation of 25 per
cent which would amount to $30,092.-
II. That the $7,530.O0 represents
depreciation for 6 years only is shown
by the multiplying that amount by 4
and there is only a difference of $27.S3
which is near enough to confirm the
conclusion.
The item of meters, which the pa
irons have undoubtedly paid for, rep
resents $34,7S460 IN the valuation and
no doubt every hydrant that the
city has paid for is again added to
the plants tangible values.
In the face OF these evidences we
are assured we are getting square
deal. II you will pardon the seeming
vulgarity 1t looks to me like we are
getting 1t where Susie wears the
beads. Yours truly,
A. Bavis.
All N. 18th st.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
His Opponent.
Johnny'S mother bought him n

johnny mother bought hlm hre
engine. He wanted TO see how ii
worked, and of course in every short
time the wheels were of. She was
naturally very angry with him and
punished him severely. When daddy
came home he found his small son with
very red eyes.
Why, my poor old man." he in.
Quired. what is the matter?'
"Nuffing,' shifted the small boy.
But something must be wrong"
persisted daddy. DO tell me-"
"Oh, well. if you want to know
said the little boy. Il have Just been
having an awful row with your wife ''
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
Ono Of Jerrojd's,

Douglas Jerrold's wit was sometimes
rather heartless. The Life OF Sill
William Russell has the story of one
George Hoddle. who went to Jerrold
one day. Il want your help" he said
I'm In trouble. The Morning -- has
dismissed me-"
You don't say. my dear George
They've had CLEAN of intelligence at
last
Don't joke. my dear Jerrold really
want you. advice. am thinking OF
going into the coal trade
'CapitaI." said Jerrold. you see
you've got the sack to begin WITH
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
A ROYAL Apology,

King Edward VII. was never at n
loss for a quick suitable answer. One
day he was coming around street
corner on one Of his periodical walks
in London when he collided with a
very stout person. who. being near
sighted. did not recognize the king.
took him by the lapel Of his coat and
gave him a tongue flashing.
do you know. SIR" finished the
irate man. that I am a member OF the
London council?"
In that case l beg your pardon"
replied the king. for l am only the
king of Great Britain"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19

Paris just now is having wave of
interest in huban feet. Two scientists,
Marie and MacAuliffe, recently add
vanc the observation that the sanest
type of men had the biggest feet,
while the sanest type of women had
the smallest feet. Which has started
the boulevardiers to scanning the feet
of pedestrians.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
The Difference Between Them.

Joseph II. Choate and Chauncey De-
pew were invited to dinner. Mr..
Choate was to speak, and 1t fell to the
lot of Mr.. Depew to introduce him,
which he did thus: Gentlemen, per
NIT me to introduce Ambassador
Choate, Americas most inveterate
after dinner speaker. All you need to
do to get speech out of Mr.. Choate
is to open his mouth, drop in dinner
and up comes your speech
Mr.. Choate thanked the senator Tor
his compliment and then said, MT.
Depew says if you will open my
mouth and drop in dinner up will
come Il speech, but 1 warn you that If
you open your mouths and drop in one
Of Senator Depew's speeches up will
come your dinners"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
Cute Bow,

Widow Eames-How would my little
Johnny like q new papa?
Johnny (aged five)-Oh. you needn't
shove the 'sponsibility on me. ma. 1t
isn't a new papa for me. but a new
husband for yourself. that you are
thinking about
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-19
Deeds Of Aspiration.

OeedS OF VGpIrdtIoN.
What though your lot in life seems poor
and small?
What though in great accomplishment
you fail?
Let not the thought OF this your soul ap
pail
Nor think your days are spent without
avail.
A noble aspiration is a deed
Though unachieved and he who judges
man
Upon his lofty throne will give 1t heed,
And all will be rewarded as they plan.
John kendrick Bangs.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-09

MONEY TO LOAN
District of Columbia Real Estate
at lowest rates of interest.
ALI. TRANSACTIONS CLOSED PROMPTLY.
Thos. Fisher & Co., Inc.
7:S FIFTEENTH STREET.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-09
LEAVE WANT ADS" AT
STAR BRANCH OFFICES.

LEAVE WANT ADS" AT
STAR BRANCH OFFICES.
II not convenient to call ut The
Etar ONCE, 18th street and Penn
sylvania avenue, leave your adj
ve-tisement at any OK the 1ono"-
ting Branch Onaces:
WATT ADS, ! cEHx 4 WORD.
1Eiuimum, 10 cents only.
NORTHWEST BRANCHES:
Rradford's Pharmacy. 9Th and r. l. ave:
Hutier 4 Field. DRUGGISTS. "a and Indiana ava
Postal Telegraph. 1924 N. 7. ave.
T 8 c. nsSs S'' Sfu. s:n :ss
nupont Pharmacy. Goth and P sts: 90.
G-n:ner's Drug store. i4th and 2 :t''
Herbst's Drug Store. 18th and Pa. ave.
Hcltzclaw's Newsstand. I7o5 Pa ave. -..,>
.ptsF,or Dept sts and Postal Eas.ss
" N; Davis. Drug store 9th and 9. s..ro,.r,
Store. POS 9th st. NV.
r1,';S States Capitol. Postal Te,ss,;Dsn .,s
Iis2 Connecticut ave-. Postal telegraph.
cuisiey's Drug Store. c1st and sts.
GEORGETOwN:
0'Donnelfs Drug Store. cd and 81 sts.
rides Pharmacy. 18th snd p SITS.
Postal Telegraph. 1919 wisconsin ave.
NORTHEAST:
Perkins Pharmacy. 4th and Stanton pl. ne
U. X. Richardson 4 Co n. Cap. and sta
kenealy's Pharmacy. N. Capitol and sts.
Taylor K Lamb, nth and E Capitol sts-
Mooradin's Pharmacy. 18th and Fl SITS ne
Xeatman. D. A.. Pharmacy. 1fh and h me-
SOUTHEAST:
nradley's Drug Store. sth and z SITS. sc.
u. S. Fealy. Druggist. 18th and Pa. ave.
SOUTHWEST:
Iltb Ut. wharf. Postal Telegraph Once.
Eu!livans Drug Store. eth and D stS s-w.
Charles S. Walter. 901 AZ st. s.w.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-04-09
WANTED

WE WANT A GENERAL AGENT to select and
instruct local sales managers and local sales.
men In New York real estate on commission OF
lOss on all sales by his entire organizations
new plans opportunity for hieh-ciass man to
large experience. Write fully. 110S Tribune
bldg. New York.