davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
AT THE AUTO SHOW.
Detrolt 30 Press.

Detroit Free Press.
met him at the auto show, reviewing thee
machines y
lie wore an overcoat Of fur, and talked Of
limousines
and touring cars and runabouts and bodies
undertaking;
He had the maine Of every car, II seemed.
upon his tongue.
lie talked OF carburetors and ignition
sparks and gears,
The mysufying terms he used st!il ring
within my ears
From booth TO booth with him ! stroled,
and every time we stood
To gaze upon q car lie showed me what
was bad and good,
He knew how fast this car could GO how
fast another couldn't;
lie knew what one ear would do. and what
the other wouldn't;
lie showed me the magnetic and the spark
plug OF the coil,
The pipe that ietus The gasolene, the cups
that feed the oil.
Unto myself this man. thought !, must be
a millionaire,
Or else he manufactures cars--he has a
city air:
But when asked his name he said, IT'S
Hezekiah Brown;
work a forty-acre farm Just thirty miles
from town"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
ANNEXATION Jokes. -

Washington Post; The Joke" that was
heard around the world and Is still on It's
travels stamps Mr.. Champ Clark as a
worthy successor Of Mark Twain. But Is II
not a case Of greatness being thrust upon
a man?
Chicago Inter Ocean: Il want It distinctly
understood" says President Taft. that II
we are going to embark ln the annexation
business we must at the earliest OppOr-
tunity annex the aurora bOrealis" Cana
dams will please understand this is meant
Tor a joke and that Uncle Sam has no
designs on It's northern border.
Pittsburg Dispateh Champ Clark's an
nexation uttsranoe Is now explained as one
OF his plays Of humor II so. 1t is humor
OF the pervading sort which our Canadian
and British cousins are unable 70 COM
prehend. As Gilbcrt's eoloaial bishop re-
marks:
The Joke they do not understand
Il pains them very much.
Louisville Courier Journal. Bennett's
resolution Ia the house for the annexation
Of Canada Is a transparent trick played
with the hope Of defeating Canadian re-
ciprOcity lie would have never thought OF
Il but for Champ clark's stumble and Il Is
as contemplate performance as could
be expected Of the most lnsolent Of stand
pattsra
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
Are Russia,s skirts Clsarl

Russia may be right in contending
that China has violated terms of the
st. Petersburg treaty adopted in 1881
and expiring next month. but before
other nations can afford 10 justify
Russiss threat against China they
have to consider Russia's own attitude
toward international agreements.
China's conduct on many occasions OF
late has been provoking, not only to
the car, but to other powers. II has
fallen into a tantalizlng habit of pro-
crastlnatiOh In commercial and diplo-
matte affairs that does it more harm
than good and Il needs to be aroused
from its lethargy. But whether Rus
sia's own skirts are entirely clear is
another matter
In spite OF the Anglo-Jspansse al
lance and Portsmouth treaty, the car
has gone right ahead with his agrees
sive campaign in the far east He has
not allowed either compact to retard
him He has pushed his troops for
cavalry. Infantry and artillery
until they eneroach upon China 10
an average depth OF 500 miles As a
matter Of fact, Russia appears to be
doing precisely what it undertook to
do when blocked by JaBan-foreing
it's way into the Celestial empire. II
sought 70 establish an approach TO the
sea through MaRchuria and was pre-
vented by the mikado Now It runs
around TO another door and seeks to
force its way through there Il Is
plain enough that Russia has never
once abandoned its determination OF
getting a foothold on the rich soil Of
Mongolia and Il IL probable that, un.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
People Talked About

william Rockefeller, OF the STANDARD Oh
company, is confined to his home In New
York with lumbago Here is a splendid
chance for him TO write a testimonial IN
certification OF the virtues OF crude oil as
q paln-killer.
Miss Mary stebblns Colley. one OF the
few surviving real daughters Of the Ameri-
can revolution, died IN springfield, Mass.
OF pneumonia in her ninety sixth year Her
father who died at the age Of %. was on
duty at West Point when Major Andre was
executed.
Margaret Perkins was obliged TO give a
bond before she became telephone oper-
ator IN a hotel in Spokane, Wash This
instrument. signed and sealed holds her
bondsmen liable 10 the extent Of $500 In the
event she becomes a bride on OF before
June p, 1911.
The womens clubs Of Minnesota are OPP
posing q bill allowing husbands and wives
70 sell their real estate each without the
consent 81 the other The clubs say that
a woman's household duties generally pre-
vent her from earning money and her
share in her husbands real estate is often
her only provision.
A claim OF q 600 brought against the state
Of California by A. G. Lafferty OF Hum
boldt county. for supplies furnished during
the Indian wars in 1851. Is soon 20 be paid,
q bill providing for the payment having
just been passed by the legislature. Laf-
Terty was "a years old when the supplies
were furnished. he Is now So His claim
has been before every California state leg
islature since ISD only to be rejected.
Most persons have FORGOTTEN the discus.
sion Of two years ago upon the salary OF
the secretary OF state. Mr.. Knox. having
been a member OF the senate when the
salaries Of cabinet officers were increased
was unable TO take the office OF secretary
Of state until its salary had been restored
30 the present figure. The term Tor which
he was elected 10 the senate viii expire
next month. and In the next fiscal yeat
he viii be entitled 10 the same compensa-
don already enjoyed by other members Of
the presidents cabinet.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
Just a Reminder.

The resolution adopted by the city
council favoring abolition OF the
Water board 10, OF course, intended as
no disrespect to a coordinate branch
of the city government, but Just re-
hinder that we are still in the midst
of Immediate and compulsory" pur-
chase Of the water works begun eight
years ago. The resolution Of the city
council, passed under spur and stress
OF another mandate from the federal
court compelling the council to levy a
special tax to raise another t225,0OO
to pay judgments for past due hydrant
rental, contemplates a repeal Of the
law creating the Water board and
such other relief as may be possible
to get" What relief may be possible
under present circumstances, with
judgments aggregating s7,000,000 al
ready rendered, or staring US in the
face, is not visible to the naked eye,
although 1t is perfectly safe to assert
that had there never been water
board, and had the powers transferred
to It remained where they we're, the
mayor and council could not have
made a worse mess Of II than It Is.
The unanimous action Of the city
council, however. in passing this reso-
luton indicates that the Water board
is no longer regarded as a sacred en-
tlty, vested with omniscience and in
fallibility, and immune from criticism
under penalty for lesS majestic. Four
years ago the editor Of The Bee had a
bill presented in the legislature at
Lincoln, not abOlishing the Water
board, but merely providing that its
members should draw no salary until
the city had actually acquired q water
plant for them to manage and direct
The mere suggestion therein con-
tanned, that the board should not draw
pay for doing nothing except piling up
judgments and lawyers fee bills, was
secuted at that time as unwarranted
intermeddling, and the taxpayers have
since been compelled to honor requisi-
lions for Water beard salaries for four
years without being appreciably
nearer to relief than at the start.
While acknowledging sponsorship for
the bill offered four years ago to stop
salaries until there was something do
ing, The Bee wants to plead an alibi
to knowledge of, or part in, the ;resolu-
ton just adopted by the city council.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
The Treaty with japan.

Il Ia hardly to be expected that the
new treaty with japan just laid before
the senate by the president will be
acted upon at the present short ses-
sion, whose remaining program is al
ready over-full. The treaty, however,
ls sure to attract attention. and prob
ably opposition. which It may be well
to have threshed out in public and
with no time limit.
The significant feature OF the treaty
IA that Il IL a trade agreement, pure
and simple. ignoring the immigration
question entirely on the theory and
assurance that Japan may be de-
pended on to protect us against a
coolie labor influx by restricting its
emigration without any prohibition on
our part II the silence Of the treaty
as to immigration meant that we we're
to throw our doors open wide for in
coming japanese, the Pacific coast
states would put in an insistent re-
monstrance. Letting down the bars
to Japanese immigrants would be re-
garded as a prelude to similar action
for Chinese immigrants, but ostensibly
that is far from the presidents pur-
pose and intention.
It goes without saying that we
should have some sort Of a trade
treaty with Japan and that the expira-
ton of our former treaty calls for
renewal and adjustment. The old COM
pact is wholly outgrown by Jspan's
recent progress as, an Industrial and
world power, and cannot be service
able to the two nations any longer.
Furthermore, Japan feels that until
II has arranged new relations with the
United States il cannot conveniently
proceed with the formation of its new
fiscal policy. upon which large results
wait. Whether the form Of treaty as
submitted by the president is the best
one 10 adopt no permanent injury
could come from it's ratification since
IL provides for it's own abrosatlon by
either party at the end Of six months
II not satisfactory. This, together
with Japan's promise to keep its
coolies away from our shores, ought to
incline US favorably toward the pro-
posed measure.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
Promise Of Railroad Activity.

The forces that have taken the Mis-
souri, Pacific out Of the Gould hands
are the same that acquired the Union
Pacific from Gould control. With the
regeneration and systematic extension
OF the Overland as an object lesson, 1t
is natural to expect this latest acqui-
sition by the so-called Hartman inter-
ests to introduce another era of rail-
road activity in the west II 1t does,
II 1t transforms the Missouri Pacific
and its tributaries into anything like
such a system as the Union Pacific,
the change in ownership will become a
public benefit,
For years the Missouri Pacific has
been stagnating. That was inevitable
since the road lacked the personal at
tention OF any OF the big railroad
geniuses to promote its progress
Moreover its absorption by the Har-
rimsn people is the most natural out
come, because these interests could
not have afforded to let the road pass
into other hands and it was out Of rea-
son to suppose that it could long re-
main in the inactive control of Gould
where it was rapidly becoming a
dormant factor in the railroad world
FORGETTING such wonderful opportuni-
ties as It's territory afforded
The Hartman crowd will undoubt.
eddy use the Missouri Pacific as the
means OF opening up and developing
the rich country it traverses and
strengthening it's hold upon the Pa.
ciflc coast traffic by means Of trans.
continental connections by way OF
Denver, oyer the Rio Grande and
Western Pacific into San Francisco
1t is not natural to suppose that the
Hill-Morgan people sat by quiescent
while rivals seized this property, tC
use as an additional weapon in the
fight for Pacific conquest. Yet there
seems to have been no struggle between
them for the Missouri Pacific prize
The inference is, therefore, that these
titanic rivals have come to an under
standing for the peaceful pursuit Of
plans to build up trade and develop
resources In which an would shar,
and prosper.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

and were subjected to the greatest dangers
and privations. Those who enlisted for a
year or longer and those who were made
prisoners should be put in a different class
from the ninety-day men, many Of whom
never saw the front and endured no hard
ships whatsoever. 1t would be more reason
able to continue the present allowances on
the ninety-day basis and make additional
allowances for special classes Of pensioners
according TO the character Of their service
The men who really fought and suffered do
not want TO be Jumped in one class with
the three months levies called out for
an emergency and serving only in the sec
ond line.
The country is entirely willing to reward
the veterans in accordance with their
deserts but IL is not willing to sanction
any more draEnst and omnibus pension
legislation.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
The Lords, Last Stand

Prime Minister Asquith has reintro-
duced his bill for the abolition of the
veto power of the House of Lords in
the British Parliament, which places
the Lords on trial for their last stand
They are now arrsyed in a fight for
their constitutional lives. But whether
they lose in part or entirely, the
Lords are not and never will again
be what they once were In Great
Britain. They lost when they rejected
the Lloyd-George budget more than a
year ago. They lost twice again when
they invited popular approval Of their
action. for in both elections the senti-
ment of the people was against them.
The present contest is but the con-
sequence OF the Lords blunder, which
they themselves now doubtless recog-
nize. The Lords will be extremely for
tunate If they come out of the present
crisis with as much as a nominal Or
ganization. They can expect no more.
BY slow degrees the character and
power of the body which dates back
700 years in one form or another,
have been undergoing change. Even
as at present constituted the peers are
vastly different from what they were
in former years. Men Of big business,
rather than the barons of noble line
age. make up the active membership,
but nevertheless the new alignment is
influenced by the same old conserva-
tive property-owning element and con-
ditions are far more consOnant with
the tendency in other channels and de-
psrtments Of British life, which " ir-
resistibly toward larger popular
power.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
NAMES LIQUOR POLICY

st. Louis Republic: II is interesting to
note that Texas is likely to vote in July
OF the adoption OF the very plan Of dealing
With the liquor traffic which Maine is
Masking a desperate effort to get rid OF.
st. Louis Globe Democrat: Nine states
have prohibition at present, but in none
of them can 1t be said to be q success. IL,
as is probable Maine declares against it
in the coming election, there is a strong
likelihood that the protests against IT
which are being heard in Georgia, Ten
nessee, Oklahoma and other dry" states
will begin to command serious attention
from their lawmakers.
New York Tribune: The experiment is
worth making, for the electorate has been
greatly altered in composition since the
prohibition amendment to the state con-
stitution was adopted. 1t is only fair to
test public sentiment occasionally on such
q question. II a majority wants TO make a
change it's win should rule. II no change
is authorized the existing system is
strengthened by a popular decision in its
favor.
indianapolis News: Some astute rePub-
lcan politicians are not averse to the re-
peal of prohibition, as they argue that with
the state no longer dry Maine viii re-
turn TO It's natural republican moorings
Maine was the pioneer in the prohibition
movement, with legislation enacted in 1886
in 1854 the Neal Dow law went into effect
providing for the seizure and destruction
OF Intoxicating liquors. Ever since. with
the exception Of the years 1896 and 1851
the sale Of liquor has been Illegal in Maine
although for q great part of the time any
man seriously bent upon getting II could
obtain Il without much difficulty.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
AN INDEFENsIBLE BILL.
Initiating Pension Roll beyond the
Nations Means.
New York Tribune (rep).

Nations Means.
New York Tribune (rep).
The senate committee on pensions has
reported the Sulloway pension bill with
an immaterial amendment. thus aiding
the progress OF a measure which ought
not to be passed at this or any other SEES
sion The amendment reduces the maxi
mum monthly rate to be paid to veterans
rs years old or more from sa6 20 $50, and
would thus slightly decrease the extra an.
nual charge imposed by the bill, which
would, however, still exceed S4O,OO0,OO0 Such
an increase Is unjustlfiable in view OF the
sum already devoted to pensions, which
for l9Os-10 was 0.sOSOO0 and for ls1Oil
S155, 75S 900, and which will be about $i53,
100000 for l9ll-l2. The Subway bill, II It
becomes law. will necessitate new taxa
ton, but congress. instead Of providing
means to meet new annual obligation Of
more than $4O,0O0O00, seems disposed to
vote the money away first and consider
plans for raising II afterwRrd, or not at
all An addition OF SiOOOo.COo 70 the treas
ury's annual outlay would more than wipe
out the savings made by the Taft adj
minisTation through many praiseworthy
economies. The president has earnestly
labored TO check the expansion of federal
expenditures. and has succeeded in holding
the appropriations OF this congress within
reasonable bounds But all that effort
would be nullified Il the pensions account
should be suddenly enlarged from Si5s,-
OOOOOO TO nearly seOOyOO0OO0.
The sum carried by the sulloway bill Is
excessive and beyond the nations means
at present. Moreover. the theory on which
the measure Is constructed Is faulty, II
any increase in pension allowances is TO
be made, its benefits should go TO the
worthlest-the men who served longest
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

The Commercial club is said to be
asking the street car company to put
into effect a rule for its cars to stop
on the rear side of each intersecting
street instead OF on the far side. This
plan has been tried in other cities
without accomplishing much toward
safety, but producing much needless
annoyance and confusion to passen-
gers stopping the car on the near
side Of the street means in many cases
loading and unloading in mud puddiss
and snow drifts instead OF at the
cross-walks, to say nothing Of carry
ing people unfamiliar with the rule a
block or two past their destinations.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

less effectively checked now BY other
powers, II may succeed.
China is in no condition, Of course,
to clash with Russia and will probably
have to make concessions before Il
aecures a settlement but It would be
strange II other powers permitted
Russia to carry out its threat to make
a military demonstration on China's
frontier. so long as It's own conduct
had not been above reproach Those
nations that have banked so strongly
on the open-door policy cannot look
with any marked complacency upon
Russian aggression in the orient.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
Ideals Nowhere Realized.


The legislature OF Alabama seems dis
posed to discard prohibition for local OPP
ton. The legislature OF West Virginia has
just voted TO submit a prohibition amend
ment 70 the voters, giving them a chance
to discard local option for prohibition. Such
faee-abouts only illustrate the difficulty Of
applying consistent policy In the reguIa-
ton OF the liquor traffic. Conditions change
and laws must change with them. In no
other field of state regulation have there
been 50 many alterations OF opinion and
so many experiments cropping after an ideal
as yet nowhere realized.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
LAUGHING GAS.

Knicker-Did you name the baby for a
thing?
Bocker-No; they named It for the cook,
so she wouldn't leave.-Judge.
You know, Uncle Ephrm. the doctors
say q man is as old as his arteries"
Yes, sub, an de older he gifts de more
he's arter ease "-Washington Star.
What Ten years in an office and
you've never been promoted. What kind OF
man do you work for?"
"A promoter. Chicago Tribune
Have you found true happiness in your
married life my dear"
Indeed have. ] can DO lot OF things
didn't dare to do wnen 1 was single. =
Boston Traveller.
"Diogenes was but IN requited In his
search for an honest man"
Yes. l have no doubt that everybody
thought II was an advertising fake and that
Diogenes himself wasn't on the level."-,
Washington star.
THE woman who hesitates is lost" para.
phrased the Wise Guy
MOT necessarily" replied the simple
Mug. Maybe she is merely handicapped
by a hobble skirt."-Philaredphis Record.
Mr.; Pestcr-Arent you going to kiss me-.
IDEAS?
Mrs. Pester-whats the use. havs
such cold can't tell whether you've
been drinking or moist, Louis Times.
The ancients thought the world wRa
We'll, they had no automobiles, no
musical comedy. no bridge whist. II must
have been Nat I'm those days."-Kansas City
Journal
"Absalom,' said Mrs. Rambo, you've got
TO quit your drinking, your smoking, your
chewing, your swearing, your
For heavens sake Nancy" protested
Mr. Rambo, don't commit me 10 such n
Wholesale reform! Let me revise M
habits schedule by SCHEDULED Chicago
Tribune.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

A janitor in Boston found in the snow a
wallet containing t150OO in cash. The wal
let was marked with the name Of firm
Of bankers. The janitor ate cheap and
quick luncheon and then went to the bank
ers. did you lose this7' said he. why,
yes cried one Of the firm but we didn't
know IT, Thank you; you are an honest
man. Please don't mention our name, win
your"
The janitor promised, and went back to
his janitorship. comforted with the assur,
ance that he was an honest man. That's
the way they do things in Boston. Virtue
Is its own reward and good enough for
him. Good old janitor
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

Thirty suicides in Omaha last year
and thirty who tried the suicide route
without reaching the terminal.
Omaha ought soon TO be able to or
ganize a suicide club with a member
ship of respectable proportions.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

II the city council succeeds in han
ding the gas lighting controversy
without a law suit II will set a fine ex-
ample for the Water board, whose
chief function seems to be making
fees for high-priced lawyers.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

II is announced that the democratic
legislative majority at Lincoln will see
to it that all platform pledges are
hlled. Democratic platform pledges
what are they?
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

Mr.. Bryan says his coming confer
enee With Senator Kern is not Of po-
litical significance. Certainly not lie
would not think OF talking politics
with Senator Kern when Tammany il
the assigned subject OF the discussion.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
PrnotIcaI PolltIcs.
New York World

There Is no occasion for the senate to
get excited over the sullowRy pension bill,
That august body feels perfectly safe to
pass the bill, with much fervid oratory
to help the lame ducks in their home dis
tricts, relying upon Mr.. Taft TO veto it.
1t is perhaps q cowardly course, but it is
practical politics"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

Il would have been terrible II Rep
resentative sehesle were deprived OF
his seat at Lincoln on the ground that
another man had been elected, after
soheele had held the place most Of the
-nnanlnn
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

We continue to preach peace and plan
war.-Mempkis CommeTcial-Appeai
Certainly That is, we preach peace
and plan TO guard against war, just as
we build houses and insure them
against IRE.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23

South Omaha's census has been
promulgated by wards. Il might be
interesting to check up and see
whether the figures correspond pro-
portlonately with the vote by wards.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-23
nnek 10 Psrinr ono.

IndIanRpOI8 NeWH.
After a brief and unsatisfactory exper-
fence with the near-war game, Juarez has
returned to It's we'll established and more
profitable industry OF getting people to
guess on which horse will win.