The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1911-12-27
THE SALVE
OF LOVE
BY SARAH W. CHANNELS
Copyright by American Press Assoc
citation, 1911.

III WINDOW OF WHICH silSi oeNlust a
woman whose expression | have often
studied. but always failed to interpret
1t may be best described as the ex-
preston Of one who has been disap-
pointed. but has accepted the dlsap-
pointment philosophically, The most
surprising thing on the premises is a
doorplate on which are the words,
Matrimonial Agency"
Now. / am a happily married wo-
man and in no need of a husband. for
mine Is the best man In the world
and / am the mother of seven dear
children. In short, our family is a
loving one But, having passed the lit
tie woman at the window many times,
my curiosity at last got the better Of
me. and went in. thought the best
way to gain information would be to
personate client. SO | invited the
woman 10 explain her methods
'To begin WITH" she said, II don't
recommend matrimony to nobody. I'm
willin' to interduce them as is banker
I'm after it. but I'm honest enough 10
tell 'em that it's good deal like dis
sipation-it's follered by headache"
~ should think that would injure
your business" / remarked.
mot a bit My opinion is when peo-
pie get the matrimonial fever they got
TO go through it just like any other
fever, only It's wuss, because most
people git over other fevers within
few weeks or months at most, but the
matrimonial fever usually lasts life
time. Most times 1t attacks some fell
Ter and some girl to onet. Sich cases
can't be stopped The cases that put
through are those where man or a
woman pines for a mate
snow, you're likely looiSin' woman.
and | don't want to do you no harm,
but | advise you to let matrimony
alone. You'll only jump from the fry
ing pan into the fire. You're used as a
single person TO dom a hundred diff
ferent things day, none of 'em, meb-
be, of any Importance. Just as soon
as you're married you got TO stop
and think whether your husband will
approve of your dom any one of 'em
the way that suggests itself to you
or If he's with you he'll tell you that
your way is not the best. If you think
1t RELY is the best, you got to argue
about It. When you've had scrap
over ninety-nine of these little mat
tiers during the day. about the time the
hundredth comes up you'll be mighty
tired o. the argument. What kind Of
a man do you want?'
She asked the last question appar-
entity well satisfied that she did not
consider her warning would be needed,
and having eased her conscience she
was ready for business.
WELL" / said. ~ think I'd like a
man who would always give me my
own way about everything. When
I'm feeling cross, I would like him to
pet me, and IL receive his caresses
coldly or snap at him, I'd wish him
to still be as pleasant TO me as May
morning"
Look a-here," she interrupted, II
amt in this business to sell million
dollars worth o. stuff for rs cents. II
you want that kind of a man you'd
better go to a heavenly matrimonial
exchange and get an introduction to
an angel. What kind Of woman be
your
$50 far as human nature will per-
NIT, I'm the kind Of woman as the
man I've described. have seven
children and sometimes | tire meet
ing their requirements, but I rub my
tiredness with the salve OF love and
it takes 1t right out of me. My hus-
band comes home disappointed at
some failure he has made during the
day; ten to one our boy Jim has fall
en- into some dirty hole and ruined a
suit of clothes, 50 you see I'm ready
TO slap at his father, and his father
to slap back at me, but before he
gets home get out my love salve and
take good rubbing, and when he APP
pears l am ready to cheer him up"
The woman followed me with curl
ous glance while / was saying this and
when stopped said:
What kind of fancy picture are
you givin' me, anyway
ut isn't fancy picture: it's a true
one. I'm really married and the mother
ST seven children. In our medicine
closet we keep a big pot of the ONT
Ynanf of Iova and my husband and |
use it continually. As for the children.
they don't need to use it. They are
born with love in their hearts for their
parents and each other. Perhaps when
they grow older good rubbing with
the salve will save them much trou-
BILE, but while they are young their ir-
rltations are self healing From what |
you have told me think 1t possible
that you may have tried to keep house
without a pot of this ointment in your
house. Get your family together and
use the love salve freely"
Without any further remark or apol-
ngy for calling | withdrew A few
days later, when | passed the matri- !
monial exchange. 1t was closed mel
Their saw nor heard anything from the |
agent for year, when | was surprised |
TO receive call from her
II came to thank you for that ONT |
ment you give me-" she said After
you left me | give myself good rub |
bin with 1t. then went TO see my old |
man. He's with me- and our younger