Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-18
Jndoing of Mr.. Uplift
81 LAFAYETTE PARKS.

Fear famous doctors found good reasons
10 cali a leading fnancicr msan4. .--
jury Of twelve business men disagreed
with their decision and gave verdict that
the patient was sane. observes Mr.. bp-
lift desiring 90 point out TO young Mr.
Uplift some q tire perils Of modern COM
merciai life
That sixteen TO one business IL just as
crazy as ever Son muses., falling 20 be
come alarmed At the dangers OF great
city, Even II they cant prove they were
born foolish most folks don't need 20 so TO
all that trouble to convince the public they
are nutty.
Men who make a specially of such
things" resumes Father. ought 20 have
certain fixed rules TO determine whether a
man Il mentally sound.
The one big sound with those owl-like
experts" declares Son. is the noise the
victims hank roll makes when he drops In
20 be examined. when a frenzied finan-
eier suddenly gets an idea he'd like to 90
crazy. ali he has 10 do Is 10 run up the
long green flaE. Believe me. II it's long
enough. you eaR leave Il TO old Doc saw
bones 20 sign the papers showing he's ss
crazy a. a March hare"
Ia Is strange 10 think that there are
times when d seems desirable for anybody
10 be declared insane" marveis Father.
Gee. Amt is great 20 be crazy.' huns
son in the words Of that pathetic little
ballad that Is again coming into popularity
With many Of our best people. Even
heads Of happy homes are tearing off mad
scenes trging to sidestep gas bills the
rent and various other little items that
merely drive ordinary NUTS 20 drink Why
pay the rent when you can 60 crazy and
"a moved free Of charge
Ia Is q Hisu provision Of oar 50 stem Of
legal procedure. Father mentions. that
ali such cases must come before a judge
Make q noise like a purple COW and
most Judges viii turn you out 10 grass IN a
iiffy." suggests son. Every body feels so
-sorry for the poor guy with the dent in his
bean that they forget al about the bunch
uf hardWurkinE yaps VINO kicked IN with
their wads Of dough to help build an air
snip line 20 Mars or whatever the scheme
VAS % double their money In sixty DAYS.
Nopody loves sucker-afteT be loses his
siInoluons
This age Of strenuous endeayor 10 ac-
camuiste wealth. Father believes. tends
% develop eceentricitles In men
"a sure does keep as turning nip-naps
~ catch up Wilh thr cart wheels. admits
e
tictled 40 death 90 pun OF the circus
stunts G he can only pry loose coin.
a. takes a real highbrou actor. though. 20
hand out the money-naniac dope when
the moo begins the run on the bank"
OF course, argues Father when
rcputahle phy sicians declare a man Is suf-
ferinE from various decisions IL should
be- assumed that their diagnosis Is cor
rect
The nig trouble ain these bo5s Who
get deiuded over nisht~ sun explains. Is
hat they woh't suy CRAY long enough
20 get en- IN the padded CELL They re-
subject ~ form reNeusals. ike most o. the
ponies bel mo maEuma on. The only
toiks mixed up In these frenzied finance
sketehes Who cant afford @ have delusions
are The people vho Buy the lottery tickets.
Ihe9 re jost pain CRAY. believe me. with
out any friils on IA, when they wake up
ere liuq themselves stung
a understand thar these experts chargs
lsrEe fees rog their services rsmarks
father
ia wOrsh be nsnsy q ave sus o.