davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
COMES A TIME
When Coffee Shows What II Has Been
Doing.

OF late years coffee has disagreed
with me-" writes matron from Rome,
Ny.
Its lightest Punishment being to
make me 'logy' and dizzy, and it seem
ed to thicken up my blood.
The heaviest was when 1t upset my
stomach completely, destroying my ap-
petite and making me nervous ana IT.
rtable, and sent me to my bed. After
oze Of these attacks. in which nearly
lost my life, l concluded to quit the
coffee and try Postum
Ii went right to the spot! found
st not only most paIatable and re-
Ereshang beverage, but a food as Wen.
An my ailments, the 1oginess' ana
dizziness, the unsatisfactory condition
Of my blood, my nervousness and 1rrl-
liability disappeared in short order
and my sorely afflicted stomach began
quickly to recover began to rebuild
and have steadily continued until now.
Have good appetite and am rejoicing
IN sound health which owe to the use
Ct Postum" Name given by Postum
Co, Battle Creek, Mich.
Read the little Book ''The Road TO
MELVILLE" in pkgs. There's reason.
Ever read the above letter. A new
one appears from time to time. Tney
nre genuine, true and fuu OF human
Interest.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
POOR RETURN FOR cHIvALRY
incident That Probably Has Forever
Discouraged kind-Hearted
Mr.. Jones.

ChivaTous Mr.. Jones purposely
dropped tifty-cent piece at the foot
of poorly dressed woman who
passed through the Subway turnstile
loudly lamenting that the ticket agent
had cheated her out of half a dollar,
then he picked the money up and
gave 1t to her.
Excuse me- madame" said MFR.
Jones, 81 think you dropped this"
"Oh, no." she said, lit can't be
mine. Perhaps you dropped it, your
SELF
"Oh, no." said Mr.. Jones. sit is
yours, / am sure. 1 picked it up just
as YOU passed"
She took the money, and hurried
after another man who had passed at
the time the money dropped.
Excuse me, sir" she said, Il think
you lost this"
Thanks" said the other man, and
Jumped aboard a train that was ready
TO start
St y" said chivalrous Mr..
,J0nes.-New York Times.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
Blind Charity.

While think l am rather inclined
to give, yet try to be discriminating
not to give to every beggar with an
idle and obviously untrue tale, but, "
said the nearsighted man to New
York Sun reporter, Il recently fell
1mpulsively for story new to me.
Boss, said this man as he looked
at me, I've lost my spectacles and
I'm trying to get together money
enough to buy another pair
"You know, if | should lose my
spectacles / should be lost myself, and
on that story l gave up without an
other thought"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
GETTING Out the Strength.

Among the applications for the
cookship in a Richmond household
was a rather dashing yellow girl
The lady Of the house was rather
doubtful as to the ability Of the
mulatto, and therefore propounded
more than the usual number of ques
lions to her Some were fairly salts
factory; but when the interrogatories
touched the question Of making tea
the negotiations we're declared off.
How long do you boil tear"
tWell. ma'am," said the girl, "dat's
matter of taste, amt it? Some folks
biles 1t longer, an some shorter"
"But you do boil it?"
Certify, ma'am, / biles It. Pus-
sun1y, / always thought dat two
hours was long 'nough to bile any
tea Yo' kin git de stren'th outer any
kind Of tea in dat time."-Lippin'
colts.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
John D. Saves Gasoline.

John D. Rockefeller doesn't believe
in wasting gasoline when he takes
spins about Augusta in his touring
car, and today he sharply rebuked his
chauffeur, who was using gasoline
when there was no need says an Au-
gusta (Ga.) Dispatch in New York
World
Mrs. Rockefeller, who is spending
a few weeks here, went out today for
an automobile ride, accompanied by
three friends The chauffeur sent the
machine along at a merry pace,
climbed a long hill, and as the ma
chine began to rush down a long
grade Mr. Rockefeller reached over
and tapped the chauffeur on the
shoulder.
Say, Charlie" he cautioned, shut
OF the engine and save the gasoline
You must never waste anything"
Charlie shut OF the engine.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
DIZZY BALL YARNS
ASTOUNDING STUNTS TOLD OF IN
MAGAZINE BASEBALL
FICTION.
HERO MAKES A BASE KNOCK
Uncle Ben Shibe Tells Good Story on
Himself-When Dad Clarke Was
Lost-Jim Deiehanty's
Batting Streak
BY HUGH 8. FULLERTON.

Baseball Is the great American game.
Which statement Is bromidian enough
for anyone. used to think that every
one knew the basic rules and princi-
pies of the game-but no longer I've
been reading baseball fiction. The two
exceptions to universal knowledge of
baseball are magazine editors and mag
azlne writer's, to judge from some Of
the stories printed in the last year.
The most exciting yarn OF all, print
ed seriously by one Of the second class
climax. The score was to in the
last half OF the ninth inning. The
bases were filled and the hero was at
bat with two out. Now what do you
suppose he did? The writer had him
hit home run, and ended up the game
with the score of Z to 8, and the hero
being carried around by wildly ex-
cited crowd of admirers.
Immediately after reading another
story released the hero uncondition-
ally. It is rather odd, but the hero al
ways comes to bat in the ninth inning,
and I've never known him either TO
strike out or hit a fly. Indeed, In
seven baseball stories have analysed
within the last week the hero has bat
ted 1000 and mostly home runs and,
as far .as I can learn, no one has even
drafted him. But this hero was q
wonder. He was captain OF the team.
His great pal and assistant hero led
off the ninth with a two Dagger and
was sacrificed to third. With one out
and run needed to win the game the
next batter hit the ball mile to cen
ter field. The fielder went clear back
to the fence, leaped, caught the ball,
hit the fence and was unconscious.
Now, what do you suppose that runner
On third did? Why, he calmly stuck
around third base until the center field
er recovered consciousness and re-
fused to score until the hero made a
base knock" CHATS what the
writer called IT'D
The third hero was a pitcher and a
wonder. In the ninth inning his team
was in lots of trouble. The opposing
team had the bases full with one out,
and his rival was at bat with three
balls and no strikes. The hero pitch
ed him three sweeping outcurves SO
far from the plate he missed them, and
struck him out" Good waiter, that
rival The writer even fails to record
the sayings Of the manager when the
rival took his swings at those balls
One of the best bits of Judgment IN
any of the stories was that of the cap,
tain who, in the eighth inning, with
the score to 0 against his team
got runner to first base, then sacri
feed, ito save the disgrace of shut
out" The opposing pitcher fumbled
the bunt {no wonder, if he knew the
game he'd be surprised too much to
pick it upl, and turned the tide, and
the hero's team won. Just how he
managed 1T l haven't figured out for
according to the story, he hunted in
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

hausted It was night, and he could
not reach Comiskey. One of the stars
of the Philadelphia National League
club offered to jump to the American
league and sign three year contract
if Crit would give him $500 in cash.
get the money until the next day, and
by that time the opportunity probably
would have been lost Determined not
to lose the man, Griffith went to
Uncle Ben, borrowed the $500, and paid
Shibe's own money to the player to
jump from his club to the rival league.
And instead of being angry, Uncle Ben
self
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
UNCLE HIRAM TO HIS NEPHEW
He Gives the Youngster Little Ad.
vice as to When to Make
Decisions.

Don't" said Uncle Tram to hi
hopeful young nephew, make an
momentous decision when you're tiret
When we're tired we want to get tn
question settled and we're ready to
make concessions, to give way, and
the other man is sure to get the bet
ter of us.
I'VE often hear it said that it's a
good thing when in doubt about any
thing to sleep on it, and this is sound
advice. The general theory of the
benefits to be derived from sleeping
on question is that sleep clarifies the
mind, but in coming to settlement
about thing the most important ad-
vantage that we find in sleeping on
it lies in the renewed strength that
sleep gives us. 1t renews our cour-
age, makes us ready not to give way
but to stand up and fight and fit and
able to fight.
Don't be in a terrible hurry to set
tie things, Stevey, anyway. There are
times when you must strike when the
iron is hot but as a general PROPOSE
ton don't be impatient to get things
settled; it's the man able to keep
cool and wait and let the other fell
low do the worrying that generally
gets the biggest piece of the cake.
eve may meet occasionally man
of high and unbroken continuous
courage, but not often; the biggest of
men have heart sag at times, though
they may not show it; we are all hui
man and much alike under the skin
if that's any comfort to you; we all
have our moods; times when we are
buoyant and happy and times when
we are low in spirits and depressed
Don't, Stevey, settle things when
you are feeling low and disspirited.
You'll take a different view when you
come back, as you inevitably will, to
the summit
LET your decisions be made,
Stevey, not when you are tired or de-
pressed but when you are fit and
strong, and pride and habit will make
you live up to then"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
REVENGE ON WEATHER MAN
People AnxiousIy Looking for Right
Conditions Chuckle When
He Catches Bad Cold.

A grin TRANSPORTED the face of the
shipping clerk who had telephoned
to the weather bureau for particulars
on the days atmospheric outlook. The
grin conveyed a pleasing message to
the manager.
mo storm in sight, eh?'' he said
NO." said the clerk; "but that
wasn't what I was laughing at. That
fellow down there has got cold.
He's SO hoarse he can scarcely
speak"
"a cold, has he?" said the manager,
and then he also smiled
In the course of the day hundreds
of people about town chuckled glee-
fully because the weather clerk had
lost his voice. The clerk was aware
of the hilarity his affiction caused.
For the first time since I have
been connected with the bureau" he
said, II have been able to make the
people happy. AS soon as an inquirer
perceived that my head was all
stopped up he began to feel better.
If I had predicted a tornado within
six hours he would have laughed.
Nothing that / can think of makes
such strong appeal to the new gen
eral public's sense Of humOr as a
case of influenza in the weather Office.
The chief and three of his clerks had
colds not long ago, and everybody
who heard about it thought it the
best joke of the season. Apparently
they consider us responsible for their
own shifting, and they rejoice In a
belated revenge"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
Musical Mote.

A music teacher in a New England
school was trying to make the chill
dren in the fourth grade understand
the value of triplet-to get them to
know that three-quarter notes under
a brace were equal to two quarter
notes.
She couldn't make them un1e-
stand; and finally, in despair, she
asked: What are three little babies
born all at the same time called?"
"Accidentals shouted a small boy,
with vague remembrance of the les
son of a week before.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

Dad Clarke, the inimitable veteran
pitcher, who for many years was one
of the best known characters in the
game, always was popular, no matter
where he played-except in one city
and there was a reason for that.
Dad had been pitching for New
York and was sold, receiving verbal
orders and money to pay for tickets.
berthS and meals to join his new club.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

sASKATOON'S splendid English-speak
ing agricultural community has won phe
nomenal prosperity from wonderful soil
What are the farmers in your district do
ing? Why not participate in our pros
perity? Come here if you want to make
the te,:: most and best of your energy and e
dren's sake. Write for all information to
Commissioner, Board of Trade, Saskatoon,
Saskatchewan, Western Canada.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
Some Contrast.

'Mornin' Sis Judy" called a neigh
boris cook to our good old nanny
II heah dat Skeeter Jim is dun got
him new wife. hope she leetl fat
tern dat spindlin', no'count streak-o'
lean!'
"Fatter n him?" nanny replied
rolling her eyes and clasping her owl
fat hands. "Lawsy, chile, day jus LAX
a needle an a haystack!"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

Before taking the bull by the horns
you should complete satisfactory ar
rangements for letting go at the psy-
Geological moment.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

Uncle Ben Shibe, owner of the Ath-
ietfcs, the worlds champions, is one of
the finest sportsmen in the country, and
q man who would love baseball quite as
much If he hadn't q ticket Office, as
with it. He Is the friend of every
one, his own players, his rivals, the
warning magnates and the fans. The
brawls and quarrels and wars find him
unconcerned, except to have a good
team, and If his team loses he is the
first to congratulate the conquerer
Last fall Uncle Ben told story on
himself for the first time"
At the time the American league
raided the National and took many of
its star players, Uncle Ben was part
owner of the Philadelphia National
League club, now his rival. and al
though friendly even then with the
American league club owners, he was
loyal to his organization. Clark Grit
dths. now manager of the Cincinnati
club, was working tooth and nail to
help Comiskey build up his Chicago
American league club, and, incident
ally, grabbed every National league
player he could get to jump TO the
American league. Grit was in Phil
Rdelphia and had been buying players
90 rapidly his cash resources were A.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

Three days later ne walked INTO q
newspaper office In Cincinnati, called
the sporting editor to one side, and
said: Say, old man, what team do I
belong to-"
The astonished sporting editor plead
ed ignorance, not having heard of the
deal
''Why, Dad, don't you know?" he de-
manded
II know it's Nashville, Or Louisville,
or some OF those Southern league
towns he said, seriously, but I've for
gotten which one. Will you wire on
for me and find out?''
And when that story reached Louis.
vile shortly after Dad reported for
duty, he found himself the object Of
much dislike.
Il think" said Jim Delehanty, the
hustling second baseman Of the De-
troit team, that if some one would
kick me between the eyes real hard,
I'd lead the league in hitting"
Whats the angle on that remark p
asked Sam Crawford.
IF / were you," said Davy Jones,
sadly, I'D hire mule to kick you
three or four times, and maybe you'd
hit a thousand per cent
'I'll tell you what l meant" agreed
Del. when l went into the Tri-State
league was just fair hitter, fair bor-
dering on rotten. II | hit 225 | felt
pretty good, and if fell below that
/ sod 7 hoI
been going along fairly well for few
/ weeks when one day I started to steal
second. I intended at first to slide be-
hind the bag, but the baseman
changed position, and l tried to switch
| and slide in front. The result was
slid awkwardly and as he touched me
out and blocked me his knee hit me
bang between the eyes. | saw forty
million stars and got up dizzy and feel
ing funny Everything seemed changed
and seemed to be looking through a
veil all the time. Everything on my
right side looked uphill and everything
on the left doWnhill. For about ten
days l was the worst hitter in the
world, not excepting Jack Pfester. 1t
worried me- / think in three weeks
got two base hits, and what seemed
funny to me was that made both
those hits of curve balls that fooled
| me. The fact Is my eyes had been
banged cut of gear and was swinging
about four inches below where the ball
really was and the only times hit it
was when it fooled me- l was all up
set and ready to quit when one day
drew case on balls and tried to steal.
The short stop was coming to cover
the bag, and as I slid his knee caught
me right between the eyes and knock
ed me cold. When l batted the next
time | saw the ball perfectly. or
thought / did, and up went into the
ESQ class. A year later I got another
crack between the eyes-and imme-
diately improved still further in hit
ting. Now I'm waiting for the kick
that will put me in the $50 class"
Crawford was silent for some time
Then he said:
''Say-did Lajoie ever mention being
hit between the eyes with a pile
driver?''
Copyright. 1911. by Joseph B. Bowles.l
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
Both Had Grievances.

First Professional Humorist-Why
SO sad, old man?
Second Professional Humorist-I
am the only one who takes myself
seriously.
That's nothing. / am the only one
who takes myself humorously. Life.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
The lJnaffainahIe.

Young Bachelor often wonder if
am making enough money to get
married on.
Old Benedict-Well, I don't know
how much you're making; but you
ain't!-Puck
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

the eighth, led OFF the ninth with a
hit. and then drove home the winning
runs with triple.
Mr.. Beach ought to send book of
baseball rules to every editor who goes
in for that sort Of thing.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16
Bears the
Prouress Of Civilization

Lady-And did you make your con-
gregation give up cannibalism?
Missionary (suppressing a GRIM
Not quite; but after much trouble l
persuaded them to use knives and
forks.-The Throne.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

Death may love a shining mark
but shining marks are scarce.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

The husband of nagging woman
IS apt to furnish most of the be-
cause.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

Many self-made men forget to make
themselves agreeable.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-06-16

When a laxative is needed, take the al
ways potent Garfield Tea. Composed of
Herbs.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-03-21
MUCH MONEY
HAS Been
APPROPRIATED

The session that has passed did
not refrain in expenses to any de-
gree. The state rate was fixed at
so cents the same as two years ago,
which it is figured with the in
creased raise in taxation, will fur
nish sufficient money to carry on
the workings of the state and fur
nish sufficient cash.
The general appropriation bill
which was passed, foots up $1,027,-
AS. Several items were added
to this amount to at least ten,
thousand dollars On top of this
the raise in salaries of state officers
for the ensuing two years must be
added, which foots up $4,000 Oh
Whereabouts.
The irrigation and publicity COM
mission gets $4,000. The public
utility commission is furnished the
sum of $4,000. The Carey act
commissioner has $4,000 at his dis
posal. The raise in the state police
with horses runs over $4,000. The
road bill appropriates $4,000,
while minor appropriations approx
imately reach another $4,000, MAX
ing a grand total of over one mill
lion and a quarter to see the state
through two years. This does not
include the legislative fund or other
expenses which have been necessary
during the past sixty days. The
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-03-21
COLLAR EXPLODEs.

Suffering terribly from burns on
the neck and head, George Dur
ham, desert miner in the Grape
vine district out from Barstow,
walked seven miles to town for
medical treatment and was found
in delirions condition by other
miners short distance out OF the
city. Durham had donned a cellu-
loid collar preparatory to going to
Bawstow and was leaning over a
lamp to light a cigar when his
neckware ignited and burned him.
He is now IN hospital at Barstow.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-03-21
INSTALLING SYSTEM.

Sergeants Newgard and Stone, of
the state police, who came down
from Carson City yesterday, contin-
ued on to Winnemucca last night
where they will install the Bertil-
lion system of Sheri Lamb. They
will then go to Elko county and
perform a like service for Sheriff
Harris. Later the system will be
installed at Tonopah and Goldfield.
AT state police headquarter there
are now complete records of 25, 900
criminals. Gazette.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-03-21
SUMMONS.

TN THE DISTRICT COURT OF
i the Fifth Judicial District of the
State of Nevada, in and for the
County of Nye.
Action brought in the District Court
of the Fifth Judicial District of
the State of Nevada, in and for
the County of Nye, and the Com
plant filed in said County Of Nye,
in the Office of the Clerk Of the
said District Court.
Horace S. Hubbard, Plaintiff, VS..
Hattie e. Hubbard, Defendant.
The State of Nevada Sends Greeting
to Hattie 3. Hubbard, Defendant.
You are hereby required to an
pear in an action brought against
you by the above-named plaintif
in the District Court of the Fifth
Judicial District of the State of
Nevada, in and for the County of
Nye, and to answer the Complaint
filed therein, within ten days Tex
elusive of the day of service) after
the service on you of this Summons,
If served within this county; or, II
served out of this county, but in
this district, within twenty days:
otherwise, within forty days; or
judgment by default will be taken
against you, according to the prayer
of said Complaint.
The action is brought to obtain
decree of absolute divorce from
the defendant and to annul the
bonds of matrimony heretofore ex-
listing between plaintiff and defend
ant on the grounds of desertion.
And you are hereby notified that
If you fail to appear and answer
said Complaint, as above required,
said Plaintiff will apply to the
Court for the relief demanded in
the Complaint herein, a copy ct
which is served herewith and the
original of which is on file with
the Clerk of the above entitled
Court.
Given under my hand and the
Seal of the District Court of the
Fifth judicial District Of the State
Of Nevada, in and for the County
Of Nye, this 18th day of February.
in the Year of Our Lord One Thcu-
sand Nine Hundred and Eleven.
Attest: A True Copy.
(Seal) ROBERT G. POLL,
Clerk.
2-1S, 25-3-4,11.1S.25-4-1
Il
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-03-21
SEARCH CONTINUES FOR
BODIES OF WOMEN

The search for the bodies of Mrs.
Jones and Mrs. Campbell on Hobart
creek, near Carson, has not been
deserted as yet, and four men are
still at the scene of the accident
searching each day for some trace
of the missing women.
Mr.. Campbell, husband of one
of the missing women, has just re-
covered from a severe attack of
snow blindness and has again join
ed the party. The party consists
of Mr.. Campbell, Fred Olmstead
and John and William Freeman.
They intend to stay in the section
until the bodies have been found.
Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-03-21

i'll for some time, but it was
thought that they were doing we'll
and both were out of danger. Lit
tie Harold, however, had a relapse
a few days ago and nothing could
save his little life.
Judge Bartine is now in Wash
ington attending to some railroad
commission matters and the sad
news that was telegraphed to him
will hit the old gentleman a hard
blow as the child was a great ia
vorite of his.--Carson News.