davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26
The Very Worst.

Clement j. Driscol, at a dinner In
New York, told a number OF amusing
stories about his strenuous life as
commissioner of weights and meas
ures last year.
"A friend Of mine," said Mr.. Dris-
coll. noticed one morning that his
grocer looked very sad What's the
matter. old MANI my friend asked
tokingly. The weights and measures
man hasn't been dropping in on you.
l hope?
"'Yes. he has, snapped the grocer.
but you don't really mean to say
exclaimed my friend, that he caught
you giving only fifteen ounces to the
pound?'
Worse than that groaned the
grocer. I've been giving seventeen.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26
Salve TO Conscience.

It was at concert, where the re-
movai of hats was not obligatory. still
the woman with a conscience wished
to be accommodating She turned to
the woman sitting beside her and
said:
Does my hat bother your"
mot in the least" said the other
woman sweetly, SO the woman with a
conscience settled complacently back
to listen to the music while persons
on the back seats twisted their necks
out of joint trying to see around her
hat.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26
Association Of Ideas.

"You have great many flies and
mosquitoes" said the rather super
cilious girl.
yep" replied Farmer Corntossel
81 don't like to mention 1t, but I've
noticed every year that flies, mos
quitoes and summer boarders all ap-
pears to be on hand at the same
time"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26

knowledge. She had come to us unde'
sired and In darkness, her form en-
yeloped in cavalry cloak. her face
shrouded by the night. AS to wheth.
er she was young or old had scarce
means of knowing. saving only that
the tone OF her voice and the graceful
manner of her riding made me conf.
dent that she had not lost the agility
Of youth But beyond this vague I'M
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26
DodainQ a Discussion

Young man" said the Maine mer.
chant. what are your habits as to
Intoxicating beverages"
Excuse mt" replied the applicant
for employment but under the cir.
cumstances. rlightnt we just as well
avoid talking poiitics?"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26
Caution.

This looks like 40 exceedingly
good thing. Sanibad the Sailor said
when he had discovered the thine
Now the thing to be done Is to res
Ice on this wealth before the conser
vationists get busy and police thu
Job
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26
Well Broken,

jim is man who will have his
Joke, What do you think he said
when his wife threw the lamp at his
head?"
What did he say?'
80 Anew light is breaking on mel"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26
CHAPTER v.
A Disaster on the Road.

To me she was merely a woman
whom it had become my duty to pro-
ing may have held toward her was
based upon nothing deeper than this
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26
Trade Rfasona-

q have neighbor who is bitterly
opposed to restrictions on speeding
automobiles.
rs he a speed maniac?"
NO; he's an undertaken"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26
Their Habit,

III telephone concern were to go
into bankruptcy, would not like to
be one Of the receivers"
why not ?"
Because in telephone operations
they always hang up the receiver"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26

The story ovons In a Confederate tent
at a critical stage of the Civil War. Gen.
Lee imparts - Capt. Wayne an important
message to hongstreet. Accompanied by
Sergt Craig an old army scout, Wayne
starts on b 8 mission. The two after
wild ride get within the lines OF the
enemy Ir the darkness, Wayne is taken
apDointmHnt
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26

to more rapid speed all sound of his
progress was instantly lost In the
pounding of our own hoofs on the
hard road
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1911-10-26
A Caution.

Would you advise me to inves'
that airship manufacturing concern %
We'll, naturally. it's inflated
stock"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
RECEIVED INTERNAL
INJURIES WHEN
KICKED
E. Hutchinson, Farmer living
South Of City Near Deaths
Door

f. Hutchinson, who owns and OPP
crates a market garden farm about
two miles south of the city is lying in
a %precarious condition in one of the
local hospitals as the result Of in
juries he received when kicked by a
horse some time Tuesday evening or
night.
Hutchinson was working for a farm
er e where he lives and helping
in the threshing. He left for his
home after the work was v Tues
day evening and that was the last
seen of him until about 4 O'Clock We'd
nesday morning when he was found
lying beside the road.
He was hurried to his home and al
though in a very weak state, said
that he had been kicked by a horse.
1t is impossible to get any Of the de-
tails of the accident other than a
horse kicked him, as the victim of
the accident Is unable to talk owing
to his serious condition.
Hutchinson was brought to this city
Wednesday evening and taken to one
of the hospitals. A physician was
called who found that the man was
suffering from a rupture of the kid
ney and internal injuries. At the pres
ent time it is stated that he has
small chance of recovering.
The victim Of the accident is an
elderly gentleman. He has a wife
and six children.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
FUNERAL WAS HELD TODAY
Services Over Remains Of Henry Got.
zian Took Place This Afternoon
From First Baptist Church

Funerla services for the late Hen
ry Gotzian, whose death occurred on
Monday morning, were held this aft
ernoon from the First Baptist church
and were very largely attended. Mr..
Gotzian had been a resident of Grand
Forks since the seventies and his
prominence in the business life OF
the city in early days combined with
the fact that he had always been a
maker of friends, made his departure
from life particularly regretful on the
part of a great many citizens.
Rev. w. H. Matthews of the First
Presbyterian church conducted the
services and in the funeral sermon
took occasion to pay high compliment
to the deceased. Interment took
place in Memorial park.
Members of the Knights of Pythias,
Pythian Sisters and the Eagles lodges
attended in a body.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
A7HELE7|C BOARD 70 MEET
Several Important Positions Will Be
Filled This Aftern0on-Few
Candidates in Field.

The athletic board of control will
meet this afternoon at 4:30 in Prof.
F.. r. Chambers Office. One of the
important matters to be taken up is
the election of a coach for the sec
ond football team. Ansel Wineman,
who played fullback on the 1908 and
1909 varsity team, has been doing the
work for the past few days and prob
ably will be selected for the season.
A ces to Guy Elkin as a men,
Der of the board of control will also
be chosen. AS far as is known, Thor
valid Dahl, captain of the varsity
track team, is the only candidate for
the position.
An assistant football manager is
to be selected. At 2 o'clock, no ap.
plications had been handed in for the
position and it is not certain whether
it will be filled or not. Several other
matters Of Importance probably will
| be considered also.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
IS IN CHARGE
He Was Delegated to Take Complete
Charge of the Valley Boosters
Products Disnlay.

NJ. c. Bachelor of this city was
named by the Red River Valley
Boosters at their meeting in Hills.
boro Tuesday evening to take com.
plete charge Of the big display that
will be made at the state industrial
exposition in Bismarck commencing
next Tuesday. In addition to the ap.
pointment Of Mr.. Bachelor there also
was considerable other business
transacted, such as the closing up Of
the details of the big work.
Indications are that the valleys dis.
play will be one of the best ever at
tempted in the state.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21

The champion sent a hard, low one,
but Spider" blocked it and yawned.
Was this luck?
The champion stood still to think
1t over. Spat! Slap! Spiders" long
arms had reached out and the cham
pion received a teasing pat on either
cheek.
That settled it. He would ami
hilate Stats. He would beat him into
"a pulp: He would keep his promise
to the boys and break him in two. The
matter determined to his satisfaction,
ne rushed. Spider" danced languidly
away: He swung for Spiders jaw.
but Spider" was not there. He was
n the other side Of the ring, droop-
ing on his spindle legs.
"You said you wouldn't hit hard"
reproached Spider" more in sorrow
than in anger.
Il amt hitting hard" gasped the
champion. I'm just tapping" And
he rushed again.
When the champion rushed the
Spider" did not prance out of reach.
No. His inertia vanished and some
thing seemed to electrify his long lean
frame. He was galvanized into ac-
ton SO swift and terrible that the eye
could not follow him. He was all
legs and arms. He seemed to WELD
at least 20 pairs of gloves which beat
a rapid tattoo on the eyes. nose,
mouth, chin, jaws and solar plexus Of
the champion.
This once-and never again." said
the Spider" and drove his right
home. flush upon the jaw, with all the
weight of lean bones and stringy
muscles behind It, and the champion,
quite unconscious now, sank to the
ground, did a neat handspring and
lay still.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
FRESHMAN CLASS IS LARGE
Total Enrolment is Considerable
Over 5OO-Old Students Enter
Late Because Of Work.

Although the regular registration
days closed Wednesday, a number Of
late ones arrived today and they will
continue coming in for several weeks.
The enrolment now is considerable
over 500. This number is slightly
larger than that Of last year but the
indications are that the late enroll
ment will increase the number very
much above last years mark.
Fully thirty per cent Of those al
ready enrolled are freshmen. This
makes the first year class larger than
that OF any previous freshman class
~ a large margin. The old students
have been delayed this fall on &C
count Of thrashing. The continual
rain has delayed farm work and con-
sequently many will not enter until
the beginning of October.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
University News
BIG MEMBERSHIP CONTEST
The Reds and the Blues Are Putting
Forth Every Effort to Win
BANQUET

The big campaign of the Y. M. c.
A. for members Is now on and the rep
resentatives of both sides are putting
forth every effort to win the contest.
The plans for the campaign we're an
nounced at the Y. NJ. C. A. social on
Wednesday evening.
The membership committee has been
divided into two sections, the reds
and the blues. The leaders of the
reds are Ed Lowan, chairman; c. w.
Matchbox, Oscar Baarson and Will
liam Elsnie. The blues will be COM
manded by John St0rmon, chairman;
John Baldwin, Ed Porter and A. l.
Pardee.
Today, Friday and Saturday will be
devoted to the campaign and it ID
planned to reach every man in the in
stitution. The section which secures
the greatest number of members will
be the guests of the losers at q big
banquet to be held later, probably on
Monday.
As a new member is secured, he lie
given an application card. This he
will take to the Office and on the pay
ment Of the regular fee is credited to
the section which secured him. He
also pays for a ticket to the banquet
When the contest closes Saturday
night the results will be checked up
and the successful section announced.
To the members Of that section the
price of the banquet ticket will be re-
funded.
The reception last night was for
the purpose of getting the new stu
dents acquainted with the old stu
dents. The social was very informal
and various students were pulled off.
The assembly was entertained by reci-
tations by Garth Rowland and T.
Quirke. Prof. Samuel Pease and Ed
Porter delivered short talks. Light
refreshments were served and Earl
McFadden lead the boys in college
yells.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
PERSONALS

o. Hanson was an arrival Wednes-
day evening from Grafton.
c. S. Robertson of Langdon was an
arrival in the city Wednesday even
ms.
]. B. Bruegger Of Williston is
spending the day in the city.
c. NJ. Cupp Of Rolla is here to at
end the clerk of courts meeting.
N. H. Rinde of Grafton was an ar
rival in the city on Wednesday even
ine.
f. T. McCanna Of McCanna is
spending the day here on a business
mission.
G. w. Harnwell of Grafton is trans
acting business in the city.
Henry Hammerly of Cando is
spending a few days in Grand Forks.
County Clerk R. J.. Roberts of La
kota arrived in the city Wednesday
evening.
Clerk Of Court Herman stenseth OF
Devils Lake was an arrival on Wed.
nesday evening.
]. N. Thompson of Fargo was in the
city today on a business mission.
Rolf Prom and Lloyd Reilly of Mil.
ton We're arrivals in the city Wednes.
day evening.
Mrs. ]. E. Gray Of Grafton is visit
ing in the city.
A. j.. Lucourse Of North Yakima
WASH, is spending a few days here OF
business.
NJ. A. Cosgriff of Emerald was
business caller in the city today.
Mrs. C. w. Morgan and M. M. Nor
gan of Hillsboro were in the city Of
Wednesday,.
Olaf Ostness of Petersburg was ii
the city ~transacting business.
E. Pritchard of Faulkton, S. D
was in the city today on business mat
tiers.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
THE PRESBYTERIAN FIGURES
Annual Report of the General Assem-.
bly, Shows That North Dakota
Is in Good Shape

The annual report of the general
assembly of the Presbyterian church
just issued gives the following sta
tistics on the North Dakota synod:
Presbyteries z; ministers 112,
churches $50; communicates 1907:
baptisms 463; Sunday school men,
bership S,473.
In the Pembina Presbytery in which
Grand Forks is located there are 81
minister's AZ churches, 1880 commu-
nicants. 1,747 Sunday school members
and 1874 baptisms in the past year.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
THE SPIDERS
FAREWELL FIGHT.
He Did Not Want to Fool With
the Champion Until Forced To.
New York Worldly

New York Worldly
Spider Clarity used to be a prize
fighter. He'd like to be now, but
Mrs. Spider" won't let him. Spider
promised Mrs. Spider" before their
marriage that IL she would be his'n
he would give up the prize ring for
ever and ever.
Herein is told how he broke his
promise-with Mrs. Spiders" permis-
sion.
1t must be explained that while
Spider" Is about the best feather
weight in this neck of the woods, and
fights best at 1875 pounds, ringside, he
looks about as much like a pugilfst
as Big Bill Edwards looks like a liv-
ing skeleton.
But. oh, my grandmother, how he
can fight!
Spider" hated to give up fighting,
but he hated worse to give up the
girl. So the prize ring saw him no
more.
He got a job at w. Irving Twomb-
ly's automobile factory on East Forty
first street, where none knew him.
Now, it is the custom of the men
in the shop to engage in the moor
hour in various sports-baseball
wrestling and boxing.
The champion boxer Of the plant
was a burly 210-pounder, who hat
polished off all the big fellows ant
now amused himself by inviting al
corners to combat.
Those who were silly enough to b.
cajoled regretted 1t. He got them II
a corner and launched deft sledge
hammer blows which put them dowI
and out.
Then he apologized for his rough
ness, declaring it was an accident,
that he didn't mean to do it."
One day the champion saw Spider.
The champion knew himself for
humorist.'
Hey. Stats" he shouted, Come OF
an put on the mitts with me-"
Spider" shook his head sorrow
fully. Mix" he said, Il amt a fight
ler."
ooh. come on" begged the cham
pion. winking at the crowd. "Just TO
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21

points. I won't hand in no hard ones
Just taps"
But Spider" remembering the
promise made to Mrs. Spider" would
not box.
After that the champion watched
for Spider" at the noon hour and
greeted him with taunts and jeers.
Oh, he was truly a humorist. 1t
would be 30 funny to see the big
champion sending jolts and wallops
and uppercuts into the fragile "Spid-
en-"
But Spider" continued to grin and
shake his head. II amt a fighter" he
said, modestly.
But the taunts of the champion
CALLED him, hurt his pride. Besides,
the crowd saw the joke every time
and guffawed every time the cham
pion invited the thin, long one to mix
Spider" stood it for a week; then,
one night, he put the matter squarely
to Mrs. Spider"
81 promised" said Spider" "and
l amt goin' to- break my word. But
I'm sore. l can't stand it much long
err. I've either got to put on the
gloves with that fellah or pass up my
job. Say, now. you let me put 'em
on just once. that's ADJUST once-
and never again."
Mrs. Spider" didn't hesitate. go
1t, Spider" she said; hand 1t to him
good and plenty; after that never
again."
Next noon "spider" limped YEARLY
out into the yard and leaned against
a wall. Never had he seemed so thin
and anaemic.
"Hey, Slats!"
Spider" left the wall and ap-
preached the crowd. The old invita-
ton was renewed by the champion.
"I'll put EN- on with you tomorrow"
said Spider" eff you promise not to
hit hard. l amt a fighter, but mebbe
you would be willin' to put me wise
to a few points,"
There were many whispered con
v~ersations and suppressed chuckles
in the shop between that noon and
the next and many mirthful glances
sent toward Spider"
Spider" appeared in the yard on
that eventful noon looking more list
less and tired than eve The cham
pion confided to the crowd that he in
tended to break him in two.
The gloves were put on. Spider"
had many seconds and assistants.
EAT 'em alive, Slats!" they said jo-
cularly. "You can do it. The only
way to best him, though, is to wade in
and mix it."
A ring was formed. "Spider" drag
ged one foot after another. He stood
half bent over, hatless and cOatless,
his skinny arms hanging to his knees.
1t seemed a pity.
The champion shot a right for the
jaw, but Spiders" head laid lazily
over and the gloves simply grazed
his ear. The champion blinked. Wa
this luck?
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
COMMITTEES BUSY.
Women's League Will Give Children's
Party: Friday.

The members of the executive board
and the various committees of the
Women's league, are busy preparing
for the reception to the new women
students Friday evening. The affair
will be a 6-year-old party and those
present will dress as children and
play children's games.
The committees which have charge
Of the reception are:
Refreshments-Ella Murphy. chair
man; Rena Parizek and Gladys Har-
vey.
Entertainment - Lola Peterson,
chairman; Olga Serumgard, Bertha
McKechney and Christine Finlayson.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Body Shipped Home

The body Of Ole Stranden, aged 80
years, who died at one of the local
hospitals on Wednesday. was shipped
today to his home in Roseau. MINI.
The deceased has been in one Of the
local hospitals for about three months
suffering from consumption. In spite
Of all that could be done he gradually
became weaker and passed quietly
away on Wednesday morning.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
THE CITY IN BRIEF
Fresh Flowers
1T Johnson Floral Co.
Have q Baby Boy,

Mr.. and Mrs. y. Nordlund, SOL North
Third street, are rejoicing over the
arrival of a son born Wednesday.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Foley,s HONEY and Tar Compound

FOley's Honey and Tar Compound
Still retains It's high place as the
best household remedy for all coughs
and colds, either for children or grown
persons. Prevents serious results
from a cold. Take only the genuine
Foley's Honey and Tar Compound and
| refuse substitutes. McGrath's Phar-
macy.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Roller Skating,
WOOdmen to Meet,

Every Saturday evening from 8 to
10 at Jacks Roller Rink.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
panoyitz Friday Special

Beautiful art prints, 10c each, on
display in Window. On sale Friday
morning at 8 o'clock.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
An Opportunity

The Grand Forks Street Railway
company offers for sale ten thousand
dollars Of stock in shares Of 500
each. Invest your money in a home
enterprise where 1t will pay good
dividends, at the time time help build
up the city. Send in your applica-
ton for stock or apply in person to
R. B. Griffith, president. or o. A.
Webster, secretary.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Chimney and Furnace Cleaning.

Chimneys and furnaces cleaned and
put in first class order. All work
guaranteed. Address IFS Walnut
street or telephone Tri-State SLIM.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Will plnY billiards.

Louis Shaw, the we'll known billiard
expert, has arrived in the city on his
return from q western tour and to-
night will give some work at the
Frederick parlOrs.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
T"hreShermen.

Send ten cents for a copy of the
noXious weed law. which must be post
ed on your separator. Times Publish
ing company, Grand Forks, n. ID.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Foley Kidney Pills.

Will reach your individual case If
you have any form Of kidney and
bladder trouble or urinary irregulari-
ties. Try them. McGrath's pharmacy.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Newspaper Association Manager

A. L. Westernhagen, manager of
the Western Newspaper association OF
Fargo, is spending the day in the
city looking after business matters
and vas entertained by Sam Haislett,
editor of the Observer, while here.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
South End Cleaning Co.

We are always ready to do your
dry cleaning. pressing and repairing
for reasonable prices. Ladies' gar
ments a specially. Call N. W. 1427-L.
T. 8. S6S-L. 21S South Third street.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21

There will be a regular meeting OF
she knights of Pythias in the hall this
evening at 8 o'clock. All members
Ire urged to attend.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Axiation Exhibition

Saturday and Sunday at state fair
grounds. .Thos. Mccoy and his new
aeroplane. Come and see the Grand
Forks boy make good.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Former Mayor Here,

One OF Grand Forks former mayors
arrived in the city Tuesday for a
brief visit, NJ L. Mccormick of Min
neapolis being the visitor. He has
not been In the city for some little
time. although he pays quite regular
visits here.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21

The Woodmen will meet on Friday
evening. All members are. expected
10 be in attendance.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Scottish Rite Bodies,

State meetings of the Scottish Rite
bodies will be held this evening at s
pollock at the Masonic temple. Men,
be!s are urgently requested to be In
attendance. Charles Allen, secretary.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Enters Gopher UNIVERSITY,

Ed. Ellison Of Minot who graduated
from the college of arts last spring,
is visiting with friends here. He will
leave this evening for Minneapolis
where he will spursue his medical
course at the University Of Minnesota.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Picture Frames
Il. IF p. Meet Ton;uht

Made to your order. Cut price
Peerless Store, Gotzian block.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1911-09-21
Farm Loans

See Sullivan Bros, Empire build
Ing. Grand Forks; second door First
National Bank building, East Grand
Forks,