The herald., 1911-07-06
By M. QUAD

and he would become a thriving mer-
chant.
Josephus went counting He found
the widow behind the pillow in a field.
As he courted she plowed. He had
no objections, as time was money TO
both Of them. Josephus confessed
that he had entertained a sneakinS
affection for the widow since his first
call, and, though she didn't say much,
she seemed pleased.
Josephus was told to call two weeks
later. but at the end of nine days he
was back again. He said it was his
beating heart that fetched him. He
had cut the time down, but the widow
was ready for him. Several days pre-
vious she had gone to the village and
paid q lawyer $5 to answer the Ques-
ton:
"Can the law trouble a wife who
Hicks her husband?"
. And his answer had been:
q mot if you do not lick him too hard
There is neither assault nor battery in
what may be called moderate licking.
Don't break any bones and don't seri-
ously injure his eyes"
, 81 have been thinking" said the wild
ow to Josephus; II have been thinking
and wondering If you loved me-"
Heavens. can you doubt it?" he ex-
claimed.
"And you will always love meT
"Forever and foreverw
'.Then well say two months hence"
zone month"; week-a day"
! Josephus knew Of store to rent In
the village. and he wanted that $1,000
The widow insisted that she must have
two weeks at the very shortest, and a
date was settled on. The marriage was
to be private and be celebrated in her
home. In due time the happy day
came round-a preacher and two wit
nesses and the deed was done. An
hour later, as the happy couple were
left alone. the widow changed her
dress. rolled up her sleeves and brought
out a new horsewhip bought for the oc
casion.
|, whats upr asked the wondering
Josephus.
Take of your coat and stand out"
! "For what, love? want to talk
with you about opening a store In
town"
PLENTY Of time for that Josephus
The first sale you made to me was five
yards Of roller toweling. You beat me
on the price and on the measure. I'm
going to tan your jacket for itv'
"But. love-
She took him by the collar and laid
on the whip till he bollered. A wo
man who could twist a pillow around
in clay soil could handle the little
Josephus.
1.-The second SALE" continued the
wife as she rested, twas five tin pans
Four Of them leaked. and you beat me
out Of 10 cents beside. Here is lick
ing No. q"
But I am your dear husband" ht
protested as he squirmed about.
"And that's why I can lick you ant
dodge the law. Here goesw
Josephus' hide was tickled again
He attempted to fight, but was taker
by the hair and his head banget
against the wall till he grew quiet
When the performance was over ant
the wife had got her breath she said:
"You sold me ten yards Of calico To-
a dress and warranted it to wash. I
was three-quarters Of yard short OF
the measure and the colors ran int
each other. Josephus, some NOR
horsewhfp"
'T'n have you arrested for thisr'
"You can't. That's what I paid s!
to make sure of. Come to timer
And Josephus was licked for selling
short weight groceries. and for charg
ing so cents too much for a pair o
shoes, and for selling black stocking
that crooked. and when he had got hi
last stroke the wife said:
"Josephus. darling, it was a cousil
Of mine that got the $4,000. but you'v
got me. and here we dwell, and 20,
do the farm work and do 1t well o
you'll get some more of this! TIL
mercantile business is not for ut
dear. What we want is the free ear o
l the country. with honest prices an
good measure thrown inr'
The Saints larder.
Not much is known in this country
Of st. Corentin, but Quimper, where h'
dwelt, cherishes a legend Of him. Ac
cording to the version gwen by Mar!
Atkinson In "A Chateau In Brittany,
"God, pleased with his Sife Of devo
ton, provided his food. A little fisi
swan to him every day, presenting
its side that the hermit might GU
away a sufficient portion for his needs
As soon as it was thrown back int
the water the fish became immediatel.
whole again, with no faintest trace o
the cut"