davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

Throughout his political career. Senator
George Earle Chamberlain, of Oregon.
has seldom had to fight. He was appoint
ed attorney general for the State of Ore
gon by the governor, then elected to that
Office without opposition, and later was
nominated for governor by reclamation.
When ne ran for United States Senator,
he had no opposition in his own party.
Thus have things broken rather easily for
Chamberlain right along.
About the nearest the Senator ever
came to getting into serious fight was
when he was teaching a country school
shortly after ne went to Oregon.
His pupils were of assorted sizes. rang
ing from four feet six to six feet four.
and a pair Of them were self-touted ter
rors. Three or four days after he'd taken
charge. Chamberlain noticed that there
was surprisingly large number of young
men out from the nearest town to visit
the school.
What is the occasion for so many visi-
tors?' he inquired of one of the younger
pupils.
'Why. they're out to see the fight" re-
piled the youngster.
What ight?''
''Oh, didn't you know? Why. couple
OF the boys are goin' t lick you this af-
ternoon.''
Chamberlain concealed his annoyance at
not having received formal notification be-
fore the invitations were sent out. and
bided his time.
1t wasn't long until the two big boys
who had arranged for the afternoons en-
tertainment got into a scuffle with each
other and one OF them talked back in a
when Chamberlain reprcved him.
SO the future Senator from Oregon pro-
ceeded to take of his coat vest, collar
and cuffs. and to roll up his sIeeves-all
this with as much deliberat ton as an or
chestra tuning up for action. He walked
over toward the two husky ba-ad boys.
Il see that you two are looking for
trouble" observed Chamberlain. with a
confidence born of having been a cham
pion boxer in college Let us settle
who's running this plant right now. with
out delay. as want to get through this
and explain the hare and hound problem
| on the blackboard If you two. either sin
gly or both together. can knock me down
I'll leave the school. and IL I can whip
| the two Of you. I presume you'll agree to
take orders from me in future
That was as far as the fight got. The
| two wicked boys backed down and an
armistice was declared for the rest of the
year. One of the two pupils is still livins
out in Oregon. and he wrote to Chamber.
lain after his campaign for the Senate
| saying that he had voted for him.
Representative j J. Fitzgerald who
halls from Brooklyn. which Is the place
| where New Workers go to visi, relatives
! on Arbor Day. Decoration Day. and
other minor holidays. was the victim of
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
Not Ready for Self-rule.

T; is becoming palmer every day that
the people OF Portugal are not ready
for the burdens of f-government. which
rather rashly. actuated not by the highest
motives. they have taken upon them
selves. The republic of Portugal-repub-
lie evidently in name only-has shown no
signs of stability and is even now in a
standard Of education is low. Apparent
ly those who fomented the revolution
were actuated by no lofty ideals OF
patriotism or love of liberty. and the form
Of government at present seems to be in
the nature Of a military dictatorship un.
der which the Portuguese enjoy a smaller
and less intelligent measure Of popular
liberty than they did under the monarchy
which they overthrew.
A sign that there is no such thing as
real freedom in the new so-called republic
is to be seen in the fact that freedom o.
the press has been abolished and the right
of free speech has been abrogated. Hei
finances in a chaotic condition, Portuga
ldS TcSOTtcu " uHolaOic oiiu
paper currency as a temporary means
out Of her dilemma. Capital has become
frightened: business houses have closed
factories have shut down. and numbers
OF people are thrown out of employment
to add to the rapidly growing army Of
disa1ected.
What the end win be It is not easy t.
foresee. but ii Is by no means improbable
that SO soon as the discomfort gets q
head or a leader there will be q plebis.
cite that shall call back the former ruler
The people of Portugal must realize thai
something more Is necessary than merely
to declare their country q republic. Tht
knowledge is being forced upon them-ai
II was forced upon their neighbors oi
spain. who went through a similar ex
perience-that they are not prepared 4
rule themselves.
But failure Of the Portuguese republi,
should cause no sense Of mistrust to tn,
friends Of popular government. Such ,
failure win only emphasise the fact tina
pure democracy II only possible whsr,
the people ere At. II vim prove that tn,
inssttmable pFiviiege Of seif-eovernmen
may only b sxercised by = people VI
=
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
Gen. Grants Volunteer Service.

The Senate Military Committee has
refused to report with a favorable
recommendation the bill which passed
the House at the last session and which
bears the title ITO correct the military
record of Maj. Gen. F. d. Grant. L. S.
A." There is abundant justification for
this diSapprobation on the part OF the
Senate committee. notwithstanding the
action of the House. In the first place,
Congress should not be found in the
position of correcting military records.
If record is erroneous. there ought to
he some way OF rectifying it without an
act of Congress. AS a matter of fact
these bills. of which there are many at
every session have for their purpose
something besides the correction of rec
orGs. and the titles to that effect are
nisnomerS. In the case OF Gen. Grant
il was desired to place on the records Of
the War Department the fact" that
the distinguished officer was captain of
volunteers on the staff of his father in
the early part of 1863. and that he was
honorably discharged and mustered out
of the service. The circumstances, as re-
lated in the reports on the subject, are
to the effect that the Junior Grant was a
lad of eleven years at the time, and that
he happened to be with his father in
the field. and could hardly be regarded
as a commissioned officer of the volun-
teer force of the civil war.
Gen Grant, il is fair to say in his
half ha n
the military record in the direction de-
scribed for any other than sentimental |
reasons. 1t is to give him the right to
become a full-fledged member of certain
patriotic organizations. his connection
with which is desired. it is easy to appre-
ciate, by those societies. While this
may be a perfectly harmless proceed
ing in the case of a person of Gen F. D.
Grants position and record. it is. at best,
a dangerous precedent to establish OBJ
lection has been raised to correcting
records in behalf of other claimants who
dc not possess Gen. Grants influence.
and were il done for Gen. Grant it could
nc properly demanded for others, includ-
ing those who wish to have an amended
record as an aid to the allowance Of a
pension or other benefit.
The proper course for Gen. Grant and
his friends Of the patriotic societies is.
has been pointed out by the War
Department in its communication to Con-
Eress on the subject, to have the by
laws of these organization so changed as
10 admit Gen. Grant or any one else
who is similarly situated. 1t certainly
seems a roundabout process to seek
Congressional action in order to esta b.
lish what is really a fiction in the War
Department records that Gen Grant may
he regarded as having the service which
makes him eligible to admission to the
society. from which he is now barred
through lack of actual service. Congress
cannot be too careful about correcting
records. unless the facts call for such
action.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
A Socialist Experiment.

Since socialism has been playing so
large a part in the governmental affairs
of the city Of Milwaukee that city has
been watched closely to see what would
come of certain activities, advocated by
the socialists. looking to the betterment
of the people No better or more concrete
example has been furnished than in Mil
waukee's attempt to solve the question Of
the public dance hail. How vital this
question is to>the social welfare Of a COM
munty any dweller in a large and crowd
ed city may testify. The ordinary private
dance hall in big cities has too often
proved an incentive to vice and low liv-
ing: it has furnished opportunity for
scandal and shame: has been mere
meeting place for the young people Of
both sexes where there was little order
and no restraint.
There were many such dance houses in
Milwaukee. and they needed reforming:
but. unlike most reformers who seek to
take away certain forms of amusement
from the people without substituting any
tHlHS else. tfic feSpOTSlDit anu "cli-
meaning citizens of Milwaukee formed an
organization which they called 'an asso-
citation for public play and social educa-
ton and they hired the Auditorium and
other places in which to hold public
dances. and thus compete. directly and
forcibly. with the private dance houses
that were ill conducted. The result has
been most gratifying, in that already
many young people have been drawn
| from the ill-conducted places to the as
sociation's parties. and now Milwaukee
has a municipal dance hall that threat
ems to make all the private dance halls
in that city unpopular and unprofita bic.
In regard to the success of the public
dances given under the auspices of this
Milwaukee Citizens Association. the
Christian Science Monitor quotes an OBJ
servant Milwaukee woman. who says:
AT the Auditorium dances the condi-
tions were conducive to decent social in
tercourse. l know. not by hearsay. but
by having attended all that have been
given. arriving early. remaining to the
| end. and then getting outside 10 observe
tIt ocpdTtliiS Sio~u. ioulu Dcdi
ing that Of self-respecting young people
Thus. it will be seen that Milwaukee
under its Socialistic trend of municipal
government. has gone a great way toward
solving a problem that has long proved
difficult Of solution in many large cities.
1t has been wise to recognize the fact
that thousan nds OF young people. not in
! society" must ffnd some form Of amuse-
ment: that the commingling Of the Sexes
is natural and right. and that il this can
not be attained under proper and decent
conditions. it will be under conditions
that are sinful and shameful. And so
the city has stepped boldly in, and it pro-
vides for it's young people a better, a
cleaner. and a more wholesome form Of
entertainment than they have been able
/ to get thepselves or to have purveyed
! for them by private enterprise. This is
| conservation in one of its finest forms
| the conservation of the morals and the
health Of the young people who. ere long.
| will grow to manhood and womanhood.
! themselves to take hand in the future
| government and right conduct Of the city.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
MI OLD SHAKER BONNET.

To-day as I stood On the street fns q minute
Ohervins the newfansied headgear % H,
I noticed one hat with cri's hsad within II
That carried me back to the paA with ush.
thought q my childhoods iansdinate panSoa
For wearing the --latest In bnonst and spwn-
How mouth after Dooth inst to b d the fashion,
stuck to an old 0hAkar bonnet q 6uwu.
tight-httiDg bonnst With ucthins spsa y
mat covered my bsad num the nape to w 0u.n
To-day IT'S 4 ..stoVe-ppa" bowl" o. . basket,
Hauled oscr to rsst On The bkidse Il hes nos;
A fsw yards q yelling to ssftsn ~ mask II.
big kvslsd hatpiu. fes1hR. q ~.
h own h0 fnSaad. hR hair ana ~ s0ssneed;
WhieA noe in the Old ssdsf trunk ~ and nosdes-
a ssais q styles that ussd to aAesA
~ "a aAabes boasut With notAiag upnn II.
bguoAf for dr. at TIE Quu95 9css
--IHna aAs3aoa IN FAilaAs1pAh PU1lie Led0R.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
Inventive wonea.
Prom the New Yak Sun.

EfURu inc SeW ON bun. /.
Miss Sophie Heiibrun has invented q
machine which will open 100 letters \
minute She is at the head Of a mail
order concern. and realizing the time It
required to open letters. she set about
to find something that would hasten
the process. Her invention 10 the result
Ernesta di Luisi II another feminine
inventor. She IL only fifteen. and she
has lust invented q turntable which. hxed
to vehicle. will enable It to reverse at
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
A Perilous Innovation.

From the New York Sun.
The Hon. Murray Vandiver. treasurer
Of the committee which is preparing that
Baltimore Hellogabalian Democratic
agape. gives this among much other kind
Iy information for the benefit Of the
faithful:
Evening dress will be permitted, but
II will not be obligatory"
With submission, 1t shouldn't be per-
mitted. 1t smacks Of oligarchy, pred
atory interests. the money power. What
ruined Thebes, Neneveh. Babylon, Chos-
sus. Tyre. Persepolis. Palmyra. Athens,
Carthage. and Rome?
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

The naked truth about that Pennsyl-
vania capitol building will probably never
be known. They are going to have the
statues draped now.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
CASE AS TO LORIMER.
Facts Presented n They Are on .
Purely ImpersOnal Basis.

Facts Presented 0S They Are on .
Purely Impersonal Basis.
From the Chicago Evening Post.
With a sigh Of simple satisfaction the
average citizen will read the minority
report on the Illinois Senatorial case pre-
sented to the Senate by Mr.. Beveridge
We have been waiting such a dreary
while for some one somewhere to take
a purely common-sense view of the situ-
ation-a view uncolored by any personal
or political animosities and undistorted
by any effort either to sacrifice or
''vindicate'' anybody else. And We have
had such an almighty long procession of
twisted. biased. futile analyses Of the
case
Mr.. Beveridge is most gratefully differ
ent. Instead of wrapping himself up in
some dull robe OF official perverseness. he
states the facts as they are. and as any
ordinary human being must know that
they are He does not try to get Mr..
whole question on a purely impersonal
basis. 1t is for its own sake that he
asks the Senate to establish the decent.
| reasonable rule that ''one act Of bribery
makes the whole election foul
We do not believe that many great
national causes have been presented more
fairly and more forcibly to a great ma
tiOnal tribunal. The Beveridge report at
last lifts the Lorimer case out of the
muck of partisanship and states its rights
and wrongs so that the whole country
may understand their true significance.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

Those convicts who insist on writing
poetry for the magazines ought to be
informed that they are entitled to time
off their sentences for good behavior.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

Look out for something to happen ir
Russia. John Hays Hammond is advis-
ing the Car.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

Those who are most interested in the
fact that the per capita circulation is
Ss4 are those who haven't the $S4.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

| AS We understand Mrs. Schenk's de-
fense, it is that other people would have
been much pleased at her husbands
death as she.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

We might believe that Mr. Carnegie is
sincere in his campaign for universal
peace if he did not fight so hard for
simplified spelling.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

The Colorado sufrragettes are boycott
ting the Ladies' Home Journal. and Edi-
tor Box no doubt thinks the whole pro-
ceeding very unladylike.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

We hope the Houston Post will not
throw a fit when it hears that the battle
ship Texas is to be used as a target.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

The Bachelor Girls Club" in New
York has failed. Its death is attributed
to heart failure.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

A Utah woman says polygamy is the
only remedy for divorce. The general
public will prefer the disease to the
remedy
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

You may have noticed. too. that the
editorials from the Outlook are not being
quoted as much as formerly
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

We quite agree with Rear Admiral Va
shiro that the United States would make
mistake in fortifyins the canal. but
We are equally sure that it Is none OF a
Japanese admirars business.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
Foslish wsae. Scarce.

yfun The Ch5eAOo Re0dHeesIA.
would sell himself to the woman who
made the highest bid has. after waiting
fee about yeek. been compelled to an-
neslnss that te has not fseeived IN oler.
yoelioh vem(n mrst ~ Gstting seaseA
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

new play in New York is called
Bought and Paid For" but it probably
has nothing to do with the fate Of an
umbrella.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

If Mr.. Harry Payne Whitney discovers
the south pole We hope. for the sake of
his reputation. he will tell no one about
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

to music. believing evidently that it will
he a drawing card.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

Mr. Spaiding seems to have been lef
on his base.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
900 Proposals es Marriage,

From the Dstruif Free rsA
At Atlanta school-tsacher has received
over Loo proposals OF marriage since It
was announced that she = to inherit
800. 900. Men who need the money are
always on the lookout for an opDoN
tunity.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

For the benefit of school children. New
York authorities have placed a COW in
Central Park.-News item
The city lad is rather smart:
Repairing to the zoo
He sees the camel play its part,
Also the cockatoo.
He knows the warthog at a glance
The ocelot. and now
The city offers him a chance
To classify the COW.
He knows the wombat like a book
And makes Of it a pet;
He classifes with but a look
The freakish marmoset.
He knows the heron and the gnu,
The ibex on its bough;
And soon he may be able to
Identify the COW.
Saving Explanation.
Captain. the steamship is a day late. -
''Fogs will delay any ship, my good
man."
will you kindly furnish me with a GER
tificate to that effect to hand my wife,
Not Always Desirable.
Shall we advertise for a man with ex-
perience?"
"well. don't know. The last man had
SO much experience that we couldn' t
teach him. anything"
Between Kids.
I'm taking dancing lessons
They're fer girls
Jaw, all champeen pugilists go in fer
'em. They help yer footwork something
great"
From Vow On.
My resolutions gone to pot.
My diary on the shelf.
I'll get a chance, as like as not,
To now enjoy myself
A Gilded Youth.
"son attending to business pretty reg
ulariy since he started in?
Fairly 50. Only once or twice has he
failed to get to the ONCE in time to 60
to the matinee"
Part Of the Role.
Shall We pose as millionaires or az
foreign dukes at the hotel?"
LAS the latter. my boy. As millionaires
we might be expected to display some
evidences of wealth. But as dukes. no.
body can possibly take it amiss IL We
skip"
After the Ball.
"Ferdy held me SO close that couldn't
dance comfortably"
well, why didn't you 90 into the con.
servatory you Goose?"
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

A woman who will sell herself is dear
ct any price.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

are educated to high ideals and who are
willing to make sacrifices to carry those
ideals into practice.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

a Philadelphia man LETT 5000. 600 to his
heirs. Just as a joke" That is our idea
of a tolerable humoriSt
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
Standpatter vs.. ProGressive.

FrJHn the hAhsaS CITY StaY.
Standpatters have pointed with exul-
tation to the fact that you may describe
the Representative as a progressive. and
by that description fail to denote whether
he Is a Democrat or a Republican. The
assumption is that he is neither, and
fundamentally that assumption is right.
But to put 1t another way. you may
describe standpatter fully. and by that
description you cannot tell whether he
is q Republican or a Democrat, and by
the same token you may properly assume
that he is neither
The important thing is that you can
not describe eitner progressive or a
standpatter without clearly denotins
whether he is a progressive or a stand
patter.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
WY Net .sYeets"

Fna ~ Kanas CITY TnA
/ elest rhymes With street. bat that's
one ~ thss least Of IL thiagy slsst dess
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
Ds4 Ceek's Rare osai.s.

Prom The Ohinso Rlnped-HaaN.
Peary does not even become oensrous
enough TO give d. Cook credit for the
possession Of tho reso Ganius which 4
seema to - ~ has exh{betod tu ~ ability
- 81 oaak IT ~ opalaogeoe
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

Col Roosevelt is now writing about
progressive nationalism. His new nation
alism did not progress very we'll.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
Roe- ter One More.

Archbishop Ireland was urging one OF
his senstorial friends to help the church
with his presence: but the Senator de-
clined to be q regular churchgoer. giv.
ing this reason:
''One fnds 80 many hypocritss theee
more. saSd the genial pfsIato. - ~
srippsd ~ haAd ee ~ seaasenaa Gasnk
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
Saving Explanation.

Captain. the steamship is day late -
"Fogs will delay any ship, my good
man.
will you kindly furnish me with a Ger
tifcate to that effect to hand my wife,
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
Not Always Desirable,

Shall We advertise for a man with ex-
perience?''
"Well. don't know. The last man had
SO much experience that we couldn't
teach him anything
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
POLITICAL CHAT.

From the Pittsburg Pest.
Mr.. Wickenhams appearance in the Sur1rme
Court against a trls; must have SEEMED like passing
under the yoke.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
A LITTLE NONSENSE
An UNFAMILIAR BEAST

For the benefit of school children. New
York authorities have placed a COW in
Central Park-News item.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
Between Kids.

I'm taking dancing lessons.
They're fer girls
law, all champeen pugilists go in fer
'em. They help yer footwork something
great"
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
A Gilded YONth.

"Son attending to business pretty reg
ularly since he started inT'
Fairly so. Only once or twice has he
failed to get to the ONCE in time to go
to the matinee
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

VateQ In Lieut.. Helm 8 case tnan IN tnat
Of the British officers.
Assuming that the British officers were
rightfully convinced-will any one save.
perhaps. a biased British scribe. say they
were not, in the face Of the evidence and
their own confession. it must be con-
ceded in fairness that the sentence was
not only just. but lenient.
The London pa pers are full Of praise
for the two ofdcers because they told
the truth in court Did any one expect
that an "ofiicer and gentleman would
lie to the judges. especially when 1t
would no doubt tend to make the road
harder for them? Whereas by admitting
that which the court already knew-for
the police had found the plans in the
room Of the two men-they got of with
q comparatively easy sentence, the Su-
preme Court judges. no doubt, In view
of the friendly and even intimate rela-
tions of the German and English courts,
anticipating that which one day soon
will follow. for the Emperor Is only
waiting for q plausible excuse to let
both go home. though he was unable to
interfere with the law. thing Of which
no German, high or low. would be guilty.
The collection of secret intelligence a.
all times Is dangerous work. and, STRANGE
tn say, theSe two officers were compii-
mented In the German court for their
skill in doing it. All nations either en-
ploy agents for such work, or use such
information as officers or others may col
lect "on their own initiative" DR.. Won
Gordon. the attorney for the British on
GERS, tried to persuade the distinguished
judges that spying vas not Low
crime. but self-d.fenee; the accused. moi
traitors. but foreigners. acting In the In
terest of their home country"
think that German justice showed z
great deal more leniency than, under
SIMILAR circumstances, Q French or Brit.
tsh court would have done In = case n
AaGBant - this one. pIAANDU1.
| tCesvslulG. n. " MsCpns Msssuaps evp1issaAl
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17
The Disany-est Big.nist.

From ths Charleston Nevs and Couri3.
About the bigamy-est bisamist We ever
heard tell Of is the Oklahoman who was
Mormon for twenty years and then
took to afhnities. II il not surprising
that he intends to settle permanently in
Arkansas.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-17

From the St Louis Post Dispatch.
The Supreme Court has said in short. that the
world can supply 20 more lese maesty than the
Kaiser can consume