davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
FABLE SHOWING = GALTON'S LAW %
ANCESTRAL INHEE1TANCE.

The exact nature of the process in
volvod in hcredity is still hazy. But it
is generally believed that a son re-
scmblcs his father because lie was made
from the same germ plasm or stuif-ln
fact. is really "a chip of the old block.
According to Wiesmann. tho germ plasm
IS "of definite chemical and special mo-
lecular constitution, being composed Of
ids or chromosomes. These later in turn
consist of vital units. each Of which
determines tho origin and development
of Il particular part Of the organism.
And in the course OF nature. this sub
stance Of tho ovum splits into two parts,
a somatic. which directs the develop
ment OF the individual. and a propaga-
tive, which reaches the germ cells and
there remains until it gives rise to the
succeeding generation
In the preceding paragraph it was in
timated that inheritance is by deter
minants or units. which when developed
form the characters that make up an
individual. Now. sometimes, these units
will blend to give an intermediate char
acter and sometimes they will not. Thus,
Galton found that in man there is per-
feet blend of stature, and likely Of SIZE
but not Of eye color tastes or tempers.
The more difference there is in the pa
rents. the less likely is this blending Of
units to occur in the offspring.
Mendel discovered that in crosses be-
tween varieties. although the first gem
Grafton Of hybrids appear to possess
these units blended when bred inter Sc.
the succeeding ones break up into the
formula: A plus > IA plus a where a.
and "a represent two different. but an
alagous characters in the first parents
That is. one-fourth of the offspring
would have a character possessed by the
father in the original variety and which
would continue pure down this line for
all future generations; another fourth
would be similar for a character of the
mother. while the remaining offspring
would have a mixture Of the two, which
in the next generation would break up as
before. into the pure and apparently
blended characters.
Diseases are not inherited. but pTedis-
positions TO them arc Thus, where con-
sumption runs in families, weak lungs
are transmitted which succumb easily TO
tie tuberculosis germ so abundant every
whore. Neither are accidental Injuries
or mutilations OF organs LANDED down,
save with tho possible exception OF those
to the spinal cord, popular opinion TO
the contrary notwithstanding. Did the
matter stand otherwise. young Isaac OF
TODAY could not still he initiated into
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
VIGOR, 10 POINTS.

Under this heading | have grouped
age, health and vitality. Considering
now the first. some very cstimable old
ladies In our village. who make 1t "A
point to be Informed on all such matters,
say that a girl should be a few years
younger than her fellow. which Is In
accordance with biological law. Dill
gent inquiry has shown that the most
successful marriages as regards popula-
ton result when the husband is twenty
four-twcnty- and the wife eighteen
twenty, in which case one out OF every
two couples will have progeny within
year.
The children. however, are most like
" 10 reach maturity If the mother Is
twenty one twenty five, the latter age
being the ideal i'm this respect. Twins.
capacity for which is matter of in
heritance, are most likely 10 arrive when
the mother is a little older, twenty-five
twenty And finally. this matter of
age may he one of the reasons why the
married graduates of girls colleges are
credited with Is children for each fam
ily. as agains; 1.S9 for their less learned
rclativcs.
President Schurman of Cornell, in ad =
dressing US students, once arranged the
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19

the rite first instituted 10y good old
father Abraham in the land of Canaan
At this point, a word in regard 10 sex
i'm offspring may be pertinent. since
first primeval man began To cogitatc on
the origin Of this phenomenon some five
hundred odd theories have been pro-
pounded, but with one exception they are
yalueless 1t is now believed by scicn-
fists that female is produced WIN
abundant and a male with relatively
ucor nutrition in the embryo. And very
recently A. Russo. by administering
lcithin simultaneously. intraperltoneally
and per os to rabbits. was able 10 get 40
per cent Of the offspring females. con
scquently. it would seem that the time is
now at hand when our legislatures must
enact a Rooscvcltian anti-race suicide
measure. embracing quality as well as
quantity.
SO far in this discussion ] have en-
dcavored TO set forth a few of the more
important laws as science finds them In
man. however. | believe these can be
modified by psychcal and spiritual in
ruenccs. and that not hercdity or on
yironmcnt but the ego can be the de-
tcrmining factor in his career. But.
unfortunately. in the past instances OF
such are rare. and as the taking OF a
wife is a venture fraught with great
uncertainty at best, ! still hold that it
is the part of prudence to have pedjgreed
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
Learn Here What Is an Ideal Wife
If You'll Take Prof Halocs Score Card" and Record the
Damseps Various Characteristics as They Develop
You'll Have Mathematical Summary OF
Her Merits and Dement'S.

even a college trained agricultur'st
would soon be forced from the farm for
the schoolroom or poorhouse.
Here let me digress hit to observe
that selecting a wife IS really little
more intricate problem than ! have yet
ntimated. II is not simply getting
good COW or horse, II is the mating up
Of a team where the most eXacting re-
ouirements are 10 be met. And to COM
plicate matters still further. the one who
must do this Is not a third party, but,
unfortunately, the one to be mated. Yet
on that glad and bithesome day when
the parson comes TO hitch pair before
the matrimonial cart he ought to find
team not only harmonious in color
and form. but steady and true. for the
road will not always be smooth and
level.
Although in the accompanying table
on Cations law. the question Of prepo-
tency in the individual and the duration
of each generation from the mean is
waived. il is accurate enough for n pop
ular discussion. 4 most superficial ex-
animation shows the importance Of hav-
ing girls ancestors for the preceding
-four or five generations of excellent quail
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
ADAPTABILITY 20 POINTS.

1t was Lord Bacon, think, who, in
one of his essays, first suggested that
the complex mental problems of life
could be simplifed by putting them on
paper, together with their possible solu-
tions. And So before a fellow falls in
love. Supposc he ought to write out the
place in his little world wife is to
occupy, whether il is TO be in the city,
town or country and whether he is look
ing for a mother. an artist or q song
bird: domestic, suffragette or w. c. TU.
fend. Such a proceeding gives him the
mental conception that is for practical
purposes analogous To a type for the
oairyman. who selects his COWS. first
and foremost. on the adaptability Of the
breed he needs. If he wants butter, he
takes q Jersey: milk, a Holsten. regard
less Of the relative merits of their re-
kpectiye digestions. Just so with fel
lew: he should find a girl of the right
fool with him, and the color of the hair
or length OF the nose is OF minor i'm
portance. For instance, ! once knew "A
girl who. with this exception. would
score phenomenally high-a jewel Of a
,o-od. But on my card she would have
IN be cut the entire amount on this point
h.causc she was afraid OF a COW and all
which that implies. With such wife
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
social winter, Z

ASHINGTON'S social winter, Ia
M the surprise OF the pessimists.
w has been an exceedingly gay
one II began with few depu-
tante teas and luncheons. but on the
wing Of the New Year tho city's hospita-
ble doors were opened wide AS one
man who has just built an enormous
house near Sheridan Circle. put 1t to
the deep mystincation Of a prominent
diplomat TO whom he was speaking):
washington is a wonderful place for
give and take. Why. your oXcellncey'
I've hardly ever had my knife out OF my
mouth since Christmas"
II has really been dinner" winter.
that being the favorite form OF enter
tainment and when Lent arrived many
sought strict diet not only as a PEN
ancc, but as a first aid 10 the injured.
Invitations had to be issued four or five
weeks in advance before worried host
ess could get the desired number OF din
ner guests. Numerous contretemps have
resulted as a consequence.
A pretty widow. who has been very
much entertained since her return TO
Washington. went to a large tea recent
Iy. While there her hostess Informed
her she had been invited to meet her at
a dinner Senator and Mrs. Blank were
giving I'm the widows honor on February
2S
Indeed" said the widow. This Is the
first | have heard of the dinner"
Her hostess expressed her surprise, and
then they parted. After that other
friends told the widow they had been
asked To meet her. but. receiving no inti-
nation herself. she became more and
more bewildered. Several days later she
met the Senator on the street and stopped
to talk with him.
MY friends tell me they are invited to
meet me at your house on the 2Sth, Mr..
Senator, but your wife has not written or
telephoned me about the dinner" she
said. after they had exchanged greet
ings.
My dear Polly"-the Senator was an
old friend of her father-"it's just this
way: We made out list of guests TO
meet you and sent out our invitations
weeks ago, thinking ii difficult to find
people disengaged. Unfortunately, our
dining room is not large. and the seating
capacity Is, therefore. limited. To our
great surprise we received acceptances
for the proper number before we reached
your name on the list. We're awfully
sorry. but we just couldn't ask you this
time" The Senator finished his naive
the astonished widow could collect her
wits.
Washington men, as a rule, are very
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
DowRY, 3 POINTS.

Although leaving tho subjec, Of Do.
mesticity to be dealt with by every fel.
low after his own fashion. ! cannot con.
scientiously pass this one over in the
same manner. A great many rersons
seem t. think that marrying girl with
a few million dollars is the one road 10
fortune. II may be for them. To such
7 heartily commend the motto Of coll
Iogc friend. "s3, 600 900 and hacking
cough" both being Indispensable II q
fellow marries for money. money Is
what he wants, and the less 1t IS cncum.
bereG tho better.
II is one Of my pet theories that
money and brains are INTERCHANGEABLE
factors. Given one the other can always
be found. That brains will make money
is a truth commonly accepted as axio.
matte. That money. however, viii fur
nish brains is little more obscure. But
n man with unlimited cash can have all
the brains ne wants, as they are always
ION the market" FOR sale or rent" In
fact. such a man can 60 further and get
his own pate in the blue ribbon list OF
Ii. DIS by donating inteligently
million or so to any college or uniyer-
sity, ana If he will then have the good
sense 10 keep his mouth closed nobody
will suspect the trick
Now. in the application ~ this prin-
cirlc it might seem that dowry is as
valuable as capacity in a girl. But such
view overlooks a fact of great i'm.
portance: their respective transmissib!l.
ity to offspring.
Brains. bequeathed in unlimited guam
tity. never do harm.
Money. beyond a moderate amount
never any good.
II, now, notwithstanding the preceding.
there arc those who still consider my
valuation of dowry too low. | simply
suggest that the extra points be taken
from capacity. for under such circum-
stances a loss there would not be felt
By the user Of the card.
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19

Before passing to a consideration or
the individual points tabulated, let me
first explain how such scorecard is
operated. That the spaces for name and
the like are TO be filled in goes without
saving. but the treatment of the points
deficient column is not SO apparent Each
rart is considered separately. and the
amount that it varies from the ideal is
estimated in per cent This is then null
tiplied by the points allowed for per-
feet score. and the product written down
in the place assigned. Thus. under
Adaptability, farmer lad using this
card would cut country girl whose
ideal was city life so per cent, say
whence 2Gx.50 equals 10 points in which
thc is deficient. The sum of these de-
ficiencies subtracted from 100 gives the
lating Of the girl. With this leave the
scorecard as whole to treat Of its
parfs
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
FORM, s POINTS.

At this place am ready 10 admit my
score card is of doubtful value Theoret-
icaIIy no credit can be allowed for
useudomorphs, but in actual practice
suspect they might get the entire 1llot-
ment of points. Five thousand nine
hundred and fourteen years ago the SER
uent gave Eve her great lesson in the
Garden Of Eden. and she has been max
ing good use Of hcr time ever since
almost To the undoing of poor old Adam.
Artificial hair. paints. false teeth. pad
ding, straitjacket corscts. F'rench
heels. hobble skirts-high heaven knows
what else.- | don't,-makc 1t impossible
70 get more than the faintest glimmer-
ings AS to what Dame Nature originally
intended
one can, however. be approximately
sure of a girls primary axes, and, gen
orally speaking. if they vary more than
. per cent from the corresponding ones
on the fellow Il cut should be made. "A
couple. one Of which is two feet taller,
thicker or broader than the other. Is
likely TO be trne incongruous. The
nose is useful organ, but II ought not
To be overconspicuous; where such
yrotuberance is abnormally developed II
must be considered a serious defect. ana
| am at a loss for remedy. ON the
other hand. | am told that the so-called
pug" variety can easily be altered INTO
n classic Roman" by taking the trouble
for "A few nights. when retiring. To slip
on a stout clothespin The color of the
eyes and the chin arc hard to disguise
and will repay careful study. Here Let
me utter word OF caution: Avoid the
combination Of dreamy eyes and firm
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
-How TO Get Her Is Your Own Affair

values Of life as follows: First, health' :
second. character; third. education. and
fourth. money and position. Although
one can readily take exception TO the
order in the last part. no thinking man
denies that health Is first And SO no
fellow ought to marry girl with d
torpid liver or the chilblains.
Vitality Is a term applied to the lie
principle in us. and It differs with indi-
yiduals. We do not all draw equal por-
tions. Of the twenty-five men originally
in Lieutenan. Greely's ill-fated Arctic
expedition, when relief came. seven were
inst alive, the eighteen others 9aunt
and rigid corpses from cold and hunger
Such an awful conflict of spirit with
matter shows only too well that the life
stuff varies. and this 1t is that makes
for ripe old age When the step has
grown feeble and the head bowed with
years. to have beside one the girl loved
so well in the days gone by makes life
still sweet.
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
Had a Gay Winter in Capital

temperate: at least they seldom appear
the worse for wear at dinners or dances.
But occasionallys being only human
there are lapses.
I Some years ago n young cluhman'
member of an old and distinguished
PENNSYLVANIA family. went 10 ball at
the Russian Legation. as it was tnen.
During supper one Of the attaches per-
suaded the clubman to drink sons
vodka. The fiery stimulant promptly
went to his head. and on their return 70
the ballroom the clubman leaned over
and bit the wife of the Russian Minister
on her bare shoulder.
Her frantic shrieks alarmed the COM
pany. and people rushed 10 her ala. lho
intoxicated clubman was Immediately
taken home. He told his scandaiHe'
companions that he bit Nine. - os'
cause he always wanted 10 know no"
Russian leather tasted.
There are numerous odd characters IN
the Kaleidoscope life Of the capitsl
whose adventures would ill volume
There are those who are Intentionally
witty and those who are unintentionaiis
amusing. or the latter class one dame
stands pre-eminent. Many stories arc
told of her. among them that OF her en-
counter with George Bancroft diploma'
and historian, who was then eighty years
old.
A member Of the Cabinet gave iars'
dinner. and among the guests we'e
George Bancroft and the woman reier'eo
to. He was assigned to take her QUIZ
and as they were enjoying their oysters
she turned to Mr.. Bancroft. ana saia'
"Oh. Mr. Bancroft. we are all "ai'"s
with so much interest for your autops''
Madam calculated the astounu'.
Mr. Bancroft.
yes" went on the unconscious "o'"'
en-. my husband tells me 1t Is 10 Do puN
lished very soon."
Like a flash her meaning dawneu
Mr.. Bancroft, and he chuckied %
deftly turned the conversation ~
safer channels; but later In the e'e"..'
he could not refrain from telling "-
hostess. and that he thought OF au"'"'
the remark to his autobiography
on another occasion prominent
ciety woman went to call upon the s~"'
,,atron. She was shown into the d1s"
ing room and told that Mrs. - WV.
he down in a moment. In few secoas.
she came in, wearing pretty ors's'''
gown. ID.
MY dear" she remarked. as she ... sn
hands with her caller. please Io's
my informality. but | did not wsH'
keep you waiting. so just slipped ="
nom de plume and came down."
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
Nv Professor Daniel W. HalIock' H. D. ~
~ only books

NV only books
We're wonan's looks
And follys all they've taught me.
Moore: "The Time I've Lost In Nooihs'
-IE suhiect Of matrimony has been
on my mind for some time. WIN
here and there rare exception All
nv friends have attained unto the mar
riage state or are now in the process vi
II. Not only this, but for several gem
erations past. my ancestors should nave
done likewise. And, on getting q little
larger view of life. find the practice is
quite common-all Of which leads me 10
believe that it is matter OF suf1lcleht
interest to merit careful discussion.
So far. however, l have been unable
TO find any literature on this proposition
which adequately expresses my views.
True this is a favorite theme for novel;
lists and poets. but what do the latter
know. for instance. of Weismann's theory
of the continuity of germ plasm? Abso-
lutely nothing. And what is worse. they
prefer 10 remain ignorant lest the cold
facts chill the Muse they must so ar
IDENTIFY WOO. How To Be Happy Though
Married" is q good book, but it is not
quite TO the point 1t is the pound OF
oure rather than the ounce Of preven-
ticn. Now. I propose to set forth my no.
tions as to the essentials OF a good wife,
which 7 have arrived at after due study
observation and delberation. But here
l stop. How TO get her is another mat
ter and one still quite beyond me. For
nine years have been in coed institu-
tions oe learning. where comrade after
comrade has secured a fascinating prize.
hut no one ever loved me. In fact. or
late. il has been gently intimated that
I am "unavaila bic" impossible" hope
less" past salvation"
On first thought it might seem that
such a confession disqualifies me at once.
But. to be frank again, it is the one
thing above all others that gives me con-
fdence in my undertaking. ! can turn
from the pages of Darwin and Spencer
IN the consideration Of the domestic al
fairs of my friends, with candid ana
cren mind-a mind unbiased by dainty
ankles or dancing optics. l can do, as
am now going to do. strip this subject
of all its romance and sentiment, ana
Judge a girl, as my honored professors
taught me to Judge the other specimens
Of the animal kins lom-by means Of the
score card shown In the accompanying
table:
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
No. never come over again.
Charles klnggleN. nnlcIno

No never como over again
Charles kingsley: Dllcino to Margaret.
II is my firm conviction that the man
who wrote this gem Of English literature
should have high rank among flames s
immortal sons Although there may be
"A few folk for whom married life is as
calm and placid as the scquestercd Al
pine lakes. for the large majority 1t is
like the Sea of Gcnnesareth, on which
squalls arise frequently and without
warning. But now introduce this verse.
at the psychological moment. unto such
matrimonial commotiOns, and it acts like
oil on troubled waters.
Now, fortunately. ii is az easy for n
fellow to ascertain girls disposition
as to know his own. After becoming
dangerously well acquainted. as part OF
his preparations for an evening call let
him partakc OF n raw onion, continue
stcadfasily to wear that awful tie" or
break few dates to be discovered with
his friend" And. for fellows like my
self. an excellent substitute is to make
a second attempt at being musical.
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
rer "sLUE STockice OFTEN hAs a NoLe os IT.

ity Indeed. an inferior girl from such
line is far more likely to get offspring OF
worth than a superior girl with poor
ancestry. But. going further back. the
ancestry is OF little importance. and
when a girl comes from family where
great stress is laid upon superior an
cestor some ten or twelve generations
removed. like one coming over in the
MayHowor. in 1920. it is well to invos'i-
gate. There may be instances where
O00Ol per cent Of vigorous democratic
blood in an individual would be note
worthy possession. but not in the ordi-
nary American.
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
SPIRITUALITY, IA POINTS.

Herbert Spencer defines life las the
continuous adjustment OF the internal
relations 10 the external relations" and
adds: Every advance in Intelligence
essentially consists in the establishment
of more varied, more complete or mora
involved adjustments" and so in the
economy Of nature. what the ear Is 10
the aerial vibrations or tho eye 70 the
ripping ether, the spiritual sense Is TO
the sevenfold hallelujahs OF the Heavenly
Host and the Beauty OF the Eternal
When now to the ideal in physical and
mental. this is bestowed, behold Natures
noblest creation-the consummation OF
untold ages. Before such being
kneel in worship, for she 2: Is who
brings heaven here to earth.
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
CAPACITY, 10 POINTS.

BY this term | mean natural intelli-
gencc, ability, gumption. which In girls
as rule is in inverse proportion to their
good looks. And now. knowing full well
the consequences likely to occur, calm
~ state that the more gray matter a
fellow possesses the less will the girl
ot his choice have. Also that the reverse
one OF those shrewd little games that
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
Adaptabily, Pedigree Form Vgor Disposition Capacity
Education Domesticity, Dowry and Spirituality,
All Have Their Relative Values in the
Writer'S Perfect Total.

love. was once slowly and surely beceto.
ing an inspiration to me. But one day.
rs she was vending her way to thu
stately halls of learning J spied beneath
her skirt. peepng over one tie. whitA
semi i-circular spot-like tho pale. silvefv
moon half risen Ger wooded knoll
True. my own socks were i'm a far worss
predicament. and to place socks above
knowledge showed a fearful confusion
of ultimate values. but / could not heIp
II then, nor can ! now.
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19

chin. ! encountered il once and know
whereof speak. And finally. at the cX-
pensc of unity I'm this paragraph, a sol
emn sense OF duty compels me To add
that out in the TIoosier State cold feet
in a wife may lead to divorce.
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
DOMESTICITY, 10 POINTS.

On this subject every fellow has hla
own peculiar ideas. And will not take
this occasion for airing mine. save 10
observe in passing that this word does
not allow the cuddling Of pugs for
La bipG
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19

seminary brimful Of botany, Chaucer
and Virgil. which in the natural order
OF things soon give way TO astronomy or
tho celestial bodies as observed from
coat sleeve lined cutter in winter or
/ buggy i'm summer
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19
DISPOSITION, 10 POINTS.

The world goes UP and the world goes GOWN
And tho sunshine follows the rain.
And Yesterdays sneer and Yesterdays iro"h
can never come over again,
Sweet wife
New-York tribune., 1911-03-19

Ny only books
Were wonans looks
And folly's all they've taught M o..
Noore. 'The Time I've Lost In Nooing'