davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

WE are so eternally hedged about
 NA/ by commas, semi colons, colons
 W and periods that I am in despair lest in our work of wholesale punctuating we will find little or no margin of time in which to prepare the matter for punctuation. The fear has kept me awake, nights. If one could rise up in his might and say Moe" to these warning factions as did Teufels- droch to the fears that haunted him by day and night if one could rid himself of the comma Tyranny once and for all time, one could get some thing done, I suppose l be- 1ieve even Teufelsdroch, however, sage though he was, would have been liter ally prostrated by dream I had last week. I dreamed that a Roman comma coiled itself about me, wrestling with all the fury of Jacob, smiting me hip and thigh, the while it's second cousin, the colon, in the guise of two white hot pokers, scared my eyes; I was shot through and through with burning asterisks, while some devilish Riffel peppered me at close range with red hot periods. And I heard a voice cry, not ''Sleep no more" but "Ungrateful wretch, These smitings and scournings take, for thou hast treated us like the poor Irishman treated his lame COW. Thou hast not given us due credit for
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

our manifold work for thee. Dope thou hast written-chaotic messy creations thou hast wrought, and builded them up into semblance Of literature. We are the foundation and superstructure of all words, for we group 'em and shape the sentences as they should be. Truly, we have been badly stayed with, even as Patrick Brady's cow" And the voices died away (for it was a sort of medley I sensed) into stellar space.
 From the punishment I suffered at the hands of these dream policemen, suspect we have been making too many hurry calls. Even those comma service men, like policemen who have held their situations some years, grow some- what naughty and arrogant, and dis like to be disturbed at all hours.
 Believe me, friend. one of the prices you must pay for culture with a capital c, Is to get your commas and semi colons right. You may not write a companion book to "Sartor Resartus," but the very best people will rise up and call you respectable. Your readers will call you blessed if you summon a handful of these comma policemen and fling 'em ad liberatum onto the written page: and by these signs your readers will certainly known where to pause O, where to stop O, where to feel chesty and eXclamatory CD, where to expect some thing to follow @. So long as you can give your correspondent some
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

of Nazareth? Will the competition of the future he as the competition of the past, ana national lines be drawn, as of old. only the workman's cap taking the place of the old vizored helmet, peering over the battlements? Does the millennium come pecemeal?
 Now that the doctors and the health departments are prolonging human life, adding indefinitely to the worlds popula- tion by cancelling the former processes of subtraction, one of three things must haI pen through the working kings of the future: They must make us all work to raise more and cheaper food, or else they must cut down our allowances and have us fined or taxed in proportion to the girth we carry, or finally, they must go oh with the old inglorious savagery of war. and encourage mankind in its well esta blished habit of racial hara-kiri. MT. Roosevelt, foe to race suicide" seems quite convinced of the eternal necessity of racial hara -kiri. generally called inter- national war But then, MT. Roosevelt was never a logician.
 For the present we observe this. with reference to that High Anglican journal, the "Chuch Times" and the non-conform- ist papers of England; For a brief ffperfod the. churches in England are in sackcloth and ashes. They are not siding with the strikers nor with the employers on the rely economic issues; but they are real izing that Christian civilization is worth less if vast masses of sober, industrious people get so small a share of the profits of industry that they are poorer in the matter of creature comforts than the savages of barbarous countries" So an English correspondent of Boston paper To which I add: Mene. meme, tekel.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

Crisp was chosen speaker, and excepI idea Crisp was the much more capable man for the place. Springer was made chairman of ways and means and brought in numerous bills providing free raw ma terial, the first wool for which MT. Ball. ey of Texas voted, as he voted for all the others.
 On the issue of Millsism Cleveland was ele cted President. The Wilson bill was Millsism incarnated; but it was plas- tered over with party perfidy and party dishonor in the Senate by German of Maryland. Smith of New Jersey and Mur- phy of New York and Cleveland allowed it to become q law without his signature. Then the silver question came on to shove the tariff out of it's paramounty, just as the disputed presidential succession had in 1877.
 Mills was elected senator, in which body he served until 1899. He entered public life poor. and he retired from it poor and never statesman had cleaner hands or clearer conscience than his. He might have been a millionaire had he not scorned dirty money. But he died a. wealthy man, wealth legitmatey ac- qured by the fortunate development of some landed property he owned in Texas He was a very great man. and his like is not in public life today.
 And the King said unto his servants. Know ye not that there is q prince and a great man fallen this day in lsrael"?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

now they have many more means that contribute to their happiness.
 That is the ideal of life, anyway, and true contentment Enjoy the things you have and ever watch for the opportunity to add to lifes comforts and to it's possl- bilities of enriching the lives of others.
 There are some people who live at the antipodes of. my friend Johnson. They are never contented, no matter what their earthly possessions. They are envlous and covetous. They are never happy. and never enjoy the things that they have, because somebody has what they have not. The reader will at once recall what q fine illustration of this fact We have in Faust. He hears the chapel bell ringing. and says,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

like this: Mistur Speaker. l want to warn the gentlemen upon that side of the house that the eyes of the country air upon them, and that peepul will rise up in there clothes and in there rath and smte them. I cannot sit dolly by and see my country sacrificed to the greed and selfish ness of the Republican party, who's ex- travvigance and folly, if unchecked, will bring ruin and disastur to the Republick. moor devastlng than the swarms of To- custs that descended upon unhappy Egypt bringing famine and dessolasion and leaving in there wake only death and dis spare.
 Anuther thing that knocks Champ out, and eliminates him as a possibility. is the fact that he is a humerlst. and the way of the humerist is hard; today he riseth up like a fake mushroom, and tomorrow he is cut down like private John Allen. He must always be in good humer and ready with sum bright new fabul. that no one has cvver heard before and when he falls off in his batting average. he IS handed the pink slip.
 Underwood out-hit Champ In the big
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24
BILL VINES ON CHAMP CLARK

does evvery few minnits A long time ago Champ maid a speech in congress on the anexasion of the Hawayan Ilands-Chlmp was opposed to sed aneXasion and didn't go behind eny bush to say so. In fact to read Champs speech on the subject woNl Iced one to beleeve that it was sertainiy plunging the Republick hedlong into the yawning abiss of ruin to follow such d corse, I quote;
 But depart frum the plan of justs, of wisdum and of moderasion and go chasing aftur Agnis Fatuus of Manifest Destiny ovver land and ovver see and sum day Macaulay's artisticlS New Zeelander nftiir finishing the picture of the ruins of St. Paul, will sit on the broken arch of the long bridge, and sketch the ruins of this Capital"
 Sum big smoke eh? It Is plane rum ne above that Champ did not approve of con- gress chasing aftur Agnis Fatuus. or anny uther woman. He did not think it was proppcr We newer saw Agnis. but the way Champ laid on the loud Iedal in his speech she must have been sum Squab, What? Probably she was one of the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

most daring and formidable scout and
 Indian fighter of the time. In numerous encounters he had been a distinguished
 victor Six feet two inches high. straight as a flagstaff, square shouldered. raw boned and muscular, with unusually long and muscular arms, he was a physical giant, and the terror of an
 Indian antagonist By his courage and intrepidity, he excited the regard even Of the Indians. who called him Sam Thlucco," or Big Sam
 The qualities possessed by Dale may be Illustrated by the revelation of one or two Of his daring feats. Appointed scout at Fort Matthews on the Oconee riyer in Georgia. which fort was under the command of the famous Indian fighter, Captain Jonas Fauche, Dale slid with stealthy movement through the country, and spied out the whereabouts and plans of the Indian. Once while at a great distance from, the fort, he was bending over a spring of water to drink, two Muscogee warriors sprang from be- hind a log, and leaped on Dale with tomahawks upraised. With entire cool
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

ton. and during his stay at the national capital. he was entertained by President Jackson. Together the two old grizzled warriors sat in the apartments of the president, and while they smoked their cob pipes they recounted the experiences of the troublous times of the past.
 General Dale served the state in n number of capacities additional to those already named. He was member of the convention which divided the territories of Alabama and Mississippi was on the commission to construct a highway from Tuskaloosa to Pensacola, and assisted in transferring the Choetaws 10 their new home in the Indian territory.
 His last years were spent in Missis- sippl where he served the state in the legislature. He died in Mississippi in 1sfi. His biographer. Hon. J. F. IF. Claiborne, says that a Choctaw chief standing over the grave of Dale the day after his bur- ial. exclaimed: You sleep here, Sam Th1ucco. but your spirit is chieftain and a brave in the hunting grounds of the sIIV.b
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

dusky James of the Fee-Gee Hands, or perhaps an affinnity of Manifest Destiny, and related to Lilly. O Killanny-s how Champ was rite in calling down such gay old Republican Ducks as Uncle Joe. and Grosvenor. who seemed to be under the spell of sum one and weer bent upon grabbing the Hands, which they did. Agnis must have got away tho for as yet the New Zealander referred to by Champ has failed to cum to bat in his sketching the ruins engagemint, and he newer will. Champ didn't expect him to- the truth is if Champ was to catch enny New Zealand CT sitting on the long bridge, and the broken arch thereof. making enny sketches of the ruins of our Capital, he'd be the first man to give him a swift liic:S. or call poliseman. This was simply one of Champs extravvigant metafors. If there was a question before the house in- volving the highly important detail of whethur the picture of Abraham Lincoln, or the classic lectures of Thomus Jerfer- sun should adorn a new issue of , sent postage stamps, Champ could be relied
 upon to hand the Republicans sumthing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

"Accursed chime. as in derision, It wounds me like spiteful shot; My realm in boundless to my vision, Yet, at my back this vexing blot: The bell proclaims with envious buster, My grand estate lacks full design The brown old hut. the linden cluster, The crumbling chapel are not mine. No sorer plague can us attack,
 Than to be rich and something lack. The chiming bell, the linden's breath, Cypress like air in vaults of death! How shall l ban it from my feeling, l rave when ere the bell is pealng.'
 So is il with some people. They have every reason to be happy in their pres ent condition; yet, they rave because
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

have already won? The democratic House will declare Tilden elected. The republ- can Senate will proclaim Hayes elected. That amounts to no election, and Article XII of the constitution then prevails, the election Is thrown into the House, and the democratic House will choose Tilden.' Had the republicans held the democratic cards they would not have lost trick; but the democrats followed Randall and Hewitt instead of Knott and Mills and they did not take a trick.
 There never was a more dramatic scene in a legislative body than that when Mills took the floor to oppose the electoral -om- mission. With clarion voice, magnificent attitude and flashing eye he began:
 q fell as one who treads alone
 Some banquet hall deserted"
 The effect was electrical, but the fiat had gone forth. The democrats were be- wildered and walked right into the trap set for them.
 Randall was thrice elected speaker after the death of Kerr and packed the ways and means committee so as to make It impossible to tinker with the tariff. When Randall was the caucus nominee for speaker the last time Mills bolted. and that same day Pig Iron Kelley bolted Garfield, the republican caucas nominee for speaker of the Forty-sixth Congress, Randall was too much of a protectonist for Mills and Garfield was too much of a free trader for Kelley.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24
AADF ALABAMA-SAM DALE-By B. F. Riley

Perhaps the most noted of his feats was that of the famous "canoe fight on the waters of the Alabama river. This vas a thrilling encounter, and is insepar- able from the great acheivments which adorn the states history. It is too long to be related in detail, and only the out line facts can here be given. With two rlen in a canoe Austill and Smith. and the faithful negro, Caesar, to propel the little boat, Dale sailed forth on the bosom of the river to encounter eleven Indian warriors in a larger boat. As the boat which bore the Indians glided down the river, the one containing the three whites shot out from under a bluff, and was rowed directly toward the Indians. Two of the Indians sprang from the boat, and swan for the shore. Caesar, the ne- gro. who padded the canoe of the whites, was bringing his boat so as to bear on the other. that they would soon be alongside, which so soon as it was effected, the negro grpped the two and held them together while the fearful work of slaughter went on. The result of the hand to hand engagement was that the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

seized a tomahawll and buried 1t in the brain of the Indian. The wamon was quietly escorted back to the fort and re- turned to her home.
 Peace having been made. Dale betooli himself to trading with the Indians, eX- changing calicoes, gewgaws, ammunition, and liquor, for peltry and ponies. His profits would have been enormous had Dale not been the spendthrift that he was. But like many another, he never knew the value of a dollar till he was in need. His trading led him across the Chattahoochee into the Alabama terri tory in 1908, at which time We find him among the earliest immigrants to this region. He was most valuable as guide in directing for years bodies of immi- grants from Georgia to Alabama. He was at.Tooka batchee and heard the war speech of Tecumseh which precipated the war in Alabama, and straightway gave the alarm of approaching hostilties to the inhabitants. A long and brilliant series of daring exploits marked the years of the immediate future of Dales event fuI fife
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

ness of mind he pitched one of them over his head. grasped the other with his left hand, and with his right plunged his knife into his body. Quick as thought the other recovered himself and rushed with madness on Dale just in time to meet another thrust from his blade, and both lay dead at his feet Bleeding from five wounds which he had received in the combat. Dale retraced the trail of the Indians for nine miles through the woods, and when he came to the edge of their eneampment he found three brawny werriors sprawled on the ground asleep, while in their midst there sat white woman. prisoner, with her wrists tied.
 He deliberately killed all three as they slept, and cut the throngs of the priso- ner. lust then a stalwart Indian sprang from behind tree with a wild yell. and with a gittering knife ready to bury it into Dale's body. Dale weakened by his wounds and his exhausting march, was thrown to the ground by the Indian, who had him in such a position that within moment more he would have made the fatal stab had not the woman quickly
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

, some body has something that they have not. A. is about to build new house, they rave because they must occupy their present home Mrs. B. has bought a new automobile, they rave because they have to keep their old one. Mrs. c. was invited to Mrs D. s function" and Mrs. E. raves over the fact that she was not invited. And so 1t goes. There's every reason for the abiding spirit of contentment, but envy and jealousy eXpel 1t, and like Noahs dove, contentment finds no place for the sole of her foot"
 Now, discomfort has it's mission. By discontent here l mean a rational dis satisfaction. which seeks to improve conditions by the use of proper means,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

nine Indians were killed, and pitched into the river. while the whites escaped with wounds only.
 In the early territorial struggles General Dale was engaged partly as an independant guerilla, and partly under the commands of Generals Jackson and Claiborne. At the close of hostilities Dale took up his residence in Monroe cc unity from which he was sent as representative to the legislature for eight terms In recognition of his ser vices the legislature granted him an ap- preparation amounting to the half pay of a colonel in the regular army, and at the same time gave him the rank of briga- dier general, in which capacity he was to serve in case Of war. Later. however the appropriation was discontinued be- cause of a constitutional qubble, when the legislature memorialized congress to grant an annuity to the old veteran, but no heed was given to the request.
 In order to procure some compensation for his services, General Dale was in- duced by his friends to go to Washing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

"ONTENTMENT may be vice. Dis contentment may be a virtue. It 0 all depends upon definitions and applications. If by the word contentm1at we mean satisfaction with conditions that might be improved and that ought to he improved, then contentment is an un- worthy sentiment to entertain. If by -he word discontent we mean a spirit that is dissatisfied with it's present lim- tations, and makes heroic effort to att tain a larger life. then discontent is a virtue which should characterize all men.
 One of my neighbors in the country Is about the most contented man that l know. He lives in q four room house built of logs, in which he has reared his family. He has not picture on the walls, noE a musical instrument in the house. The place has had the same ap- pearance of poverty ever since I first came to know 1t. Even the hounds seem to be the same mangy set that lounged about the door 15 years ago. Many of Johnson's neighbors have built well houses and introduced pumps but John- son stil uses the long well sweep. Several families that began to Keep house. In log houses about the time that Johnson started, are now enjoying weather board ed buildings, with little patches of cid fashioned flowers in the front yard that give attractive touches of color to yhe surroundings. But Johnson still lives in his log house. and there is not flower growing on the place.
 Furthermore. the neighbors have im- proved their farms with new out build ings, hen houses barns, and sheds to protect faJr,ire imn'ame"ts a~"inst '. lye weather Not so with Johnson's farm. The same old cornciln the same old barn, now propped up with poles and posts, the same old stable, shelterirc the s'me old black mule. Johnson thinks will last for many a year to come Ask linn why he doesn't keep up with his neigh bors He will quote ''the Scrptur'So you, and say. The 'postle said, he'd learnt to
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

thing to do in the way of watching the punctuation marks, are you not teach ing him self reliance of a sort? In placing these signs and symbols for his salvation, are you not also teaching him watchfulness? Are-you not in fashion making him conscient being? You cannot make your correspondent wise, but you may teach him grammar-per- haps; you can do your best, anyway. If your comma sense, colon sense has been neglected, there is no hope for you, See that you punctuate properly, how ever little sense your a, b, abs convey For though you may stand in everlast ing awe of these litle twists and dots and dashes, they have a certain practi cality. For my part, I cannot do more my best efforts to get the mass pune tuated in approved fashion You see. one can't both write intell gently and get the dots and dashes right If I get anything in- telligible done, I must certainly disre- gard the semi colon prerequisites. If any vital, living truth gets in my mat ter after squads, companies, regiments of punctuation marks are duly placed, it gets in by stealth.
 The world is painstakingly careful about it's commas, more even than about the sentences they are set to coil and writhe about. In fact, there Is little
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

be content in all things and that's me 70 a pigs nose" I thought, as Johnson said this, O., for the grace of little discon- tent. But it suddenly occurred to me- that, Johnson, like some other folk was too abominably lazy to be discontented If he made corn enough for his positive needs, to pay his taxes. and to buy .he simplest order of groceries. and at "rod- der pullin'' time saw that he could carry the old black mule through the winter, he was satisfied, for the matter of cloth, ing his wife, children and himself he would accomplish in some way.
 Johnson is church member He be- lieves in being contented. He takes no paper, reads no books; at o'clock at night he is asleep, and by 4.S0 he is out
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-24

and in the right spirit. Almost every advance of civilization has grown out of conditions that superinduced a spirit of wise and salutory discontent. From the rudest modes of living. discontent drove men to something better, to the comforts and conveniences of life; and to the stirrings of discontent we owe our present social order with all its privileges, opportunities and benedic- | tions.
 The nation, the state and the indi- vidual whose contentment is not aroused from it's placidity at times, by strong and lion like reforming discontent, Is doomed to pass away. dying of dry rot. This great American republic is the product of discomfort. Had the people of these colonies been content to bear and suffer the burdens imposed upon them by the British crown, there would have been no tea party" at Boston, no declaration. of independence, no Wash ington in the hall of fame no Patrick Henry to eXclaim Give me liberty or give me death,' and no republic of the United States of America on the map. Discomfort gripped the sword at Con- cord. and held the flagstaff at York town.
 The young man who never knows any thing of discontent will most likely spend his days in subordinate positions. Let him be content, that is, let him con tain himself for the present, for it may not be the moment for discontent to as- sort itself. Let him be faithful, dli- gent studious, and enjoy what he now has and be thankful for his present good fortune. Let him thus fit himself for posts of higher responsibility. let him make himself a necessity to some one: and the time will come when his ambi- ton will awaken the spirit of discontsnt. and he will find that larger life wants him and that vaster sphere is await ing him
 But let the young man be perfectly
 
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