davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
THAT GARDEN OF LOVE.

From the sublime to the ridiculous
is the way all things in the world seem
to run along. What can be more sub
lime than love? Nothing will be the
answer of every one who has not been
bitten by it in disastrous way. It's
the fire that furnishes the power OF
life. And 1t is sorry condition of
affairs when the attainment of that
sublimity is denied, and denied espec-
tally to young girls who are branching
out into all the glories of womanhood.
Surely, they are denied it, too, when
they happen to live in a place where
for some reason or another there are
not enough young men to go around.
That appeared to be the situation
at Sylvia, Kan. Sylvia with the lovely
name, suggestive of nothing else than
being a veritable greenhouse of exotic
specimens of the fair sex. So the
girls of Sylvia, according to many and
varied stories which have appeared in
the newspapers of late, organized
club to eradicate this deplorable sit
uation. They had the encourage
ment of their parents in the enterprise.
The plan was to get the names of elig-
ible young men in surrounding COM
munities, strike up an acquaintance
with them through the medium of
correspondence, and eventually invite
them to wander SyIviaward and pluck
any one of the beauties that happened
to be poisoning in that garden of
love.
An ingenious scheme. Individuals
have tried it before through the me-
| dunn of matrimonial advertisements
and agencies. But this was the first
! instance where there had been a CO.
| operative effort of this sort on large
| scale, and the world marvelled and
! considered these Sylvia girls quite as
wise as they were supposed to be fair.
| But the denouement came sudden
ly. 1t furnished all the necessary evil
dence of the righteousness of the ap-
parently sublime activity. One of the
young men who was picked out as a
victim became impatient and hurried
on to the land of his lady fair. She
was at the train to meet him. So We're
her father and mother. He was given
a cordial reception by the family, but
he was struck rather dumb with
amazement when he discovered that
his would-be affinity was slip of a
girl in short dresses. Presumably she
had pigtails hanging down her back.
| She coyly confessed to being fourteen
years old, and proudly proclaimed the
| fact that she was the oldest member
of the club Most of the other mem
bers of the club had seen no more
that II or IL summers.
It's needless to say more, except ii
might be appropriate to suggest that
| guardians be appointed for the par
ents of these infants-in-arms. But
anyhow, the town got a lot of adver-
Using out of the enterprise or es-
capade, or whatever it was. Maybe
that is all it was cooked up for
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
HYHAWKER JOTS

Or brought down to the minute, says
the Leavenworth Times: Young man,
go west and rob a bank
That music intoxicates some people,
isn't altogether proof of the fact that
it is written in bars, insists the Law
renee World.
Some fear is expressed, reports the
Garden City Telegram, that both Gov
ernor Stubs and President Ripley are
suffering from an attack of writer's
cramp.
The Hutchinson News has the idea
that the government is looking for the
millennium because it is insisting that
the labels on patent medicines must
tell the truth.
Ewing Herbert thinks that most of
the girls look rather pretty in their
knit caps and Jackets in white and red.
He might well have said that most of
the girls look rather pretty in any
thing.
Another savior of the nation, thinks
Deacon Walker, would be a person
who could invent a device to prevent
the hard coal burner from becoming
an extinct volcano about three times
a week.
The fact that a woman gave her
baby carbolic acid by mistake in place
of soothing syrup came to the notice
of the Salina Journal and it remarked
carbolic acid route is quicker
Noting that young Kansan near
Wichita received a motor car as a
present the other day, the Ottawa
Herald comments: Some men are born
poor, some achieve poverty and others
have poverty thrust upon them
Bert Walker of the Osborne Farmer.
is willing to admit that there are a lot
| of fellows in that community who
should get married, but on the other
hand, he is of the opinion that there
is an equal number who should have
| been restrained by law.
This is one of the years that give the
! printer trouble. In printing the date it
now requires three figures of the same
! denomination, namely. the figure a.
| Type used especially in job printing or
| advertising is put up with two or three
| of each letter or character, and when
! three figures of the same value must
often makes trouble. The same thing
| happened in 1888, but will not occur
| again for nearly a, century, or until tn,
year 19S9.-Wetmore Spectator.
Grounding day is next on the pro-
gram. Old Sol Miller, who established
the Troy Chief and in his day was one
of the strongest newspaper men III
| Kansas, made it an occasion for spe-
| cial edition. Where he found his
| grounding lore and world information
/ concerning his topic and the clever
way in which he handled his subject
was marvellous. During his days in the
| little out of the way towns of White
| Cloud and Troy he had not peer II,
the newspaper world.-Seneca Tribune
ct had the most horrible dream last
night have ever had in my life" a
/ Manhattan man said recently, accord
| ing to the Mercury. 81 dreamed that
| was at home and my father was accu5-
ing me, in the presence of my mother
| of having been drunk. / denied tbs
accusation vehemently, 1 dreamed, bul
all the time felt doubly ashamed be-
cause 1 was lying what did you
have on your stomach that would gig
you that kind of nightmare" in
quired a friend Cocktails replie+
the man who had been dreaming.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
MODEL HUSBAND.

He leaves his couch at early dawn
And makes the fire to bu-n,
he puts the eggs and coffee on
AND cooks them to a turn:
L hen when the meals prepared he takes
Without a bit of noise
HIS way unto the bed and wakes
The partner of his joys.
He knows where all his things are kept
He puts them there, you seel
Ii. when he's home, his den is swept,
He laughs right merrily.
he wipes his feet upon the mat
Until from mud they're clear.
he never, never hangs his hat
Upon the chandelier.
He is on time at eventide,
NO dinner has to wait:
he smokes no fragrant pipe inside
His little home-that's straight!
A wash-day lunch, he likes it, yesi
And if some talk there be
Or cash to purchase hat or dress
he scornS economy.
So doth the model husband do
In winter, spring or fall;
he Is a saint in summer. too
He has no faults at ALT
he is the catch to bring delight
To any maiden fair
1 know that he exists, all right,
But can't tell you wherei
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
LFrom the Philadelphia

EFrom the Philadelphia Record
1t doesn't take a pickpocket long to
get his hand in.
How are those New Years resolu
tons holding out?
Perhaps the reason widows so often
marry again is because dead men tell
no tales.
No, Maude dear, we have never heard
that in Boston Cupid discards his bow
and arrow for bean-shooter
Mrs. Muggins-"When 1 cry my hus-
band always gives in to me-" Mrs
Buggins-"Mine always shells OUT
Harduppe-.Do you thing it's possible
to get anything out of Tightwad?''
Borrowell-'.Not unless you use a stom-
ach pump
Did you stack up against any bic
game when you were out west?" asked
the man who is fond of shooting. No
1 never play higher than a quarter
limit" replied the cheap sport.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.1

IFrom the Atchison Globe.1
If you have a confession to make,
sell it to a magazine.
Good roads banquets are a mighty
poor way of building good roads.
You have the system if you can be
just as happy with failure as with sue
cess.
Don't complain because you haven't
any chance, but go ahead and make
your chance.
It is easy to put in crop of wild
oats. but help is mighty hard to get in
harvest time.
AS a general rule. mighty little hap
pens when you are hanging around
waiting for it.
Long experience will finally. teach
you that what you get free is worth
about what you pay for it.
The average married man does not
need to wear a wedding ring to show
he is married: he LOOKS it.
One trouble with the man who
wants to set the pace is that he so
often travels in the wrong direction.
A good deal of money. as well as
some space in the waste basket, could
be saved by sending out fewer circular
letters.
He is the kind of a man." a brake
man said, in describing a noted fall
ure, who spends most of his time get
ting ready
Stories of recent robberies vary in
some minor details, but they all agree
on the important point that the ban
dts got away with it.
AS soon as man becomes deeply
interested in his work he becomes less
interesting to women unless they are
figuring upon his money
Speaking of that old chestnut, per-
petual motion, gossip continues to be
about the only thing that anyone can
start and no one can stop.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

on the wrist for his indiscretion in
telling the English that if they ever got
in trouble, they could depend upon the
United States to help them out. If the
stringent rules and regulations prohib-
tied United States army and navy Of
f1cers from fmbibing of the wine that
is red and the cordials that are purple
and green at the banquets which are
rendered them, it is not likely that the
occasions would be frequent when they
would have to be reprimanded for let
ting their tongues run loose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Tuition fees are the highest in the
school of experience.
X y =
The fine theory that it's hardest TO
practice concerns economy.
>
1t is more than difficult to regain
a good reputation that's been lost.
X y \
Probably it's just as we'll that cats,
dogs, horses and other beasts cannot
talk. They'd make just that many more
liars in the world.
* X
If you don't want to lose, fight shy
of indulging in your favorite game with
the friend who says he hasn't played
it in years"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.I


Most people are conference.-the asleep.
Many man gets tangled up in q
string of lies
The less luck man has the more he
believes in it.
When Cupid Shoots an arrow his VIC
tim feels the CULVER.
The proud peacock of today may be
only feather buster tomorrow.
A woman may not be able to vote.
but she possesses a strong veto power.
Every man is born with a backbone.
but matrimony sometimes removes it,
In. buying typewriter ribbons it Is
necessary to specify whether they ara
for her or it.
Are you one of those chaps who be-
slieve that every man is wrong who
doesn't agree with you?
When you hear man Dragging about
his ancestors it's a safe bet that he
has nothing else to brag about.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Most people will probably be agreed
that there surely is something decided
ly wrong with that Connecticut clergy
man who cannot be true to himself
lead a true life-and at the same time
not retain his pastorate f. church of
Cod
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

It is beginning to look as though
Governor Stubs and his next friend.
William Allen White, or vice versa, had
come to the parting of their ways. MI
White is free to express the opinion
that the defeat of Robert Stone for
the speakership was a piece of arrant
freacherv
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press

IRON the New York Press.
Imagination conceives great works;
lack of it carries them out.
After God created the world meE
began the work of recreating it.
Women ought to have the right to
vote SO they wouldn't want to do it.
You can convince even yourself that
your own lie isn't by telling it often
enough.
Even if a man knows better than to
quarrel with his relatives hn doesn't
know better than to let them Quarrel
with him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Everything is done on a large scale
in New York City. A storeroom used
by q small gang of burglars was To-
Gated there by the police the other day,
and it was found to contain loot to
the value of 10000.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Hugh Jennings, than whom there
have been few better baseball players
or managers of baseball teams, and
who holds a warm place in the affec-
tons of the baseball fans the country
over, has finally succeeded in making
the right kind Of home run.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

50 many 'stingers" have already
been injected into most of the pro-
cedures of the new Kansas legislature
one might be pardoned for concluding
that its membership is made up of bees.
Here's hoping that this is also an in
dication that the legislators will soon
get as proverbially busy in the right
way as do the honey-makers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

As the originator Of billiards. all the
honors of the North American CONT
nent belong to Medicine Hat. Still,
Medicine Hat can't help this, so nothing
but sympathy is due that frigid burg.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Congressman Reeder's bill for re-
apportionment Of the membership of the
house of representatives suggests that
he thinks it would be a good plan to
provide a sort of a commission form of
government for this branch of congress
by putting it in the hands Of very
faVu men.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

A few years ago a Topekan bought
some land in the vicinity of Solomon,
Kan, for $55 an acre. He has recently
refused offers of $40 an acre for =.
This is pretty good evidence that Kan
sas land is as good. If not better. for
the purposes of investment as the
land in any other locality of the coun-
try. even if Kansas land is not adver-
tised quite so extensively as is the
land in other parts. And when pro-
ductiveness is concerned. Kansas land
can more than hold its own with that
of any land on the face of the earth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Nat Goodwin's wife scarcely needed
to allege in her petition for divorce that
her husband "loved the girls too we'll"
That could have been accepted as
self-evident fact, because she happens
to be his fourth wife.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

One of the novelties in clubdom in
New. Jersey is an organization to whose
membership only those are eligible who
have attempted to commit suicide. It's
members really ought to be a cheerful
lot. but the chances are good that they
are not
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Now that the value of the Stephen
B. E1kins estate is known to be in
the neighborhood of $4,000, 600, per-
haps the Duke of the Abruzzi will
transfer his affections from the Prin-
cess xenia of Montenegro.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

DIR. Thomas McClary.- the Irish ora
tor of Chicago, who addressed a To-
pelxa audience recently, is, indeed, a
gentleman of discernment He charac-
terizes much of the stuff that is styled
these days as love as being nothing
hut slush
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Guatemalan revolutionists are re-
ported to be sweeping all before them.
If this is the case, the chances are
good that there is not much in their
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Pay your money and take your choice
Some people insist that wheat is king
in Kansas Others give the honor to
corn. Still others insist that alfalfa
is now entitled to the crown. And at
the recent meeting of stock breeders.
held in this city. insistence was made
that the hog is the king among the
products of the Kansas farms. There
is no need for any rivalry, however.
Why not recognize them all as kings.
There are four kings in every pack.
and when they get together it's pretty
tough hand to beat in the great Ameri-
can game.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

While there is no perfect safety for
life or property in this world. the
measures adopted by the Bank of
England to protect its treasure against
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the fun day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganizRtton for tho exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Commander Sims, of the United
States navy, is to get an official slap
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

what is your name?" inquired the
kind-hearted woman, as she handed the
intellectual looking tramp large piece
ma'am,'' the man replied between his
eager bites, lis known only to tn forgot
ten past, but ever since me gal turned me
down, an her oil man turned me out I've
went by tn name of Gas Chicago
Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
Bethlehem Today as 300 Years Ago.

One thing can not fail to impress
every visitor to Bethlehem, and, in
deed, to the Holy Land generally, who
is imbued with true Christian faith
and a proper sense of the sanctity of
the location and of the events that
have transpired there, and that is the
more than remarkable correspondence
between the things and places shown
US today as having been associated
with the life and work of the Saviour
and other events that enter into the
structure of our religious faith and
the descriptions and accounts of them,
as furnished us in the pages of the
Holy Scriptures. They agree with
them in every respect. and it is inn
possible, after carefully considering
and comparing them, to doubt their
identity, so exactly are they in accord
with the Bible narrative.
The work in the fields, the arrange
ment of the buildings, the very arti
cles of diet and clothing of ancient
days are plainly recognizable in the
doings and surroundings of today. In
deed, where modern methods have not
become obtrusive the manners and
customs of the people remain much
ence on earth of the Saviour. Be-
tween the descriptions given in the
Bible of localities, climatic and geo
graphical conditions, distance, etc, of
these times and those of today there
is hardly any discrepancv.-Charle A.
Brassler in the Columbian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

What is that patient doing over there
in the corner?' Hes a crazy circus man
who is drawing up catalogue for an en-
tirely original menagerie." what animals
has he eatalogued SO far?" "A sun dog,
a moon calf, an ocean greyhound, sea
puss and an Irish bull. Baltimore
American
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
Marriage and Ioneevity.

DR.. Jacques Bertillon, the eminent
French physician and an acknow1-
edged authority, announces the con-
clusion that matrimonv is the greatest
aid to longevity. He says if men and
women would reach a good old age
they must marry. This, he says, is
established by statistics cleaned from
all over the world. A married man
or woman has, he saws, thrice the
chance of good long run as a bache-
Tor or q sDinster. In further illustra-
ton of this contention that the we'd
ded life is best for men he shows that
the mortality among widowers is
greater than the average among mar
ried men. So he recommends them to
look out for new partner-that is,
at any rate. if they are under 60. This
is his advice to young men:
Marry; you will do well, even from
a selfish standpoint, But watch care
fully over your wife's health, as even
from this egotistical point of view her
loss will be a terrible misfortune, for
your life depends in a great measure
on her own"
DR.. Bertillon finds that the mortal
ity among widows is much greater
than among married women of the
same age The death rate of widows
from 20 to 20 years of age, he says, is
twice that Of married women. of the
same age.
Men are less careful of their habits
and are unable to live SO near the ideal
life when deprived, either by design or
circumstance, of the watchful care of
a wife. When we live under the rule
of matrimony we gain. When people
leave this influence they suffer, he con-
cludes.-Woman's Natioral Daily.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12
irish Farms Feed England.

Facts cited in recent report of the
department of agriculture and techni-
cal instruction of ireland make a sig
nificant showing of the Increasing ma
terial Importance of that country to
the British empire.
It appears that ireland rapidly is
becoming the granary of the United
Kingdom.
During 1909 Ireland shipped more
cattle into the mainland than all other
countries combined.
During the same period Irish farm
ers sold their customers across the
United Kingdom $17,641,602 worth of
butter and $13,933,S worth Of eggs.
Poultry to the value of $4,171, J33
and bacon and hams to the aggregate
of SIG, S70.730 went to swell the trade
account of the Irish with their Brit
ish neighbors.
When England discovers that her
people must depend on Ireland for the
bread they eat, the grievances of the
island will acquire more than political
importance.-Chicago Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

ct isn't what a man earns that makes
him rich" said the mOralizer. No. re-
Joined the remoralizer. Its usually what
his father saved."-Chicago Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

"John!'' she exclaimed jabbing her ell
bow into his ribs at 2:17 a. M. did you
lock the kitchen door?' And John, who is
inner guard and was just then dreaming
over last evenings lodge meeting, sprang
up in bed, made the proper sign, and re-
sponded: worthy ruler, our portals are
If he was asleep!-United Presbyterian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Tough Job.-"An flesh is grass sighed
the landiady. I'D hate to have to NOW
a meadow of beefsteak like this growled
her boarder, throwing down his knife in
disqualification Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Biblical History Lesson.-''Wfsat hap
pened to Babylon asked the Sunday
school teacher. 1T fell.'' cried the pupil.
And what became of Nineveh?" at was
destroyed And what of Tyre?'' Pune
turedi"-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Frank Polygamy.-"For tomorrow's Off
ciaI ceremony invitations have been issued
to 200 of the leading residents of the dis
trict, who with their wives will number
it is expected, nearly 500, which is the
full capacity. of the hall."-Exeter Ex-
press and Echo.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-12

Orchestra Leader-All the orchestra
players are drunk. Theatrical Manager
Well, drag EN- out. We advertised a full
orchestra. 49, \. --------.- =