davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
STOPPING UP The LEAK.
MAN TRIES PLUMBERS TRICK
AND COMES TO GRIEF.
Painful Experience Results From
Mans Desire to "Putter" Around
the House During His Wife's
Temporary Absence.

Election day brought to prominent
Brooklynite the remembrance of the
way he spent that day year ago. He
had noticed slight discoloration on
the ceiling of his library. which was
directly under his bedroom. With a
mans desire to "putter" around the
house, be decided to use the holiday
to Investigate and see If there was not
a leak In the water pipes on the floor
above, one reason for this determine
ton being that his wife was away and
would not return home until after
luncheon.
When he had finished his morning
paper and cigar, he took up a corner
OF his bedroom carpet, and turning it
pack, removed couple of the floor
boards and, sure enough, found an in
significant leak in a water pipe that
ran between floors. He had seen
plumbers stop little leaks of that sort
by hammering down the pipe where
the water seeped through, and decid-
cd to try the same trick himself. He
TOOK the heaviest hammer he had in
the house and struck the pipe several
brave. resounding blows.
The result was startling. Instead
OF one trif1ing leak he had enlarged
that to stable dimensions, and the
rotten pipe giving way had also start
ed another leak. from which a vigor-
GUS stream Of water spurted into his
face, knocking off his eyeglasses and
trlckllng merrily over his shirt front.
The principles of first aid to the in
)ured flashed into his mind and, lying
nat on the floor, he put a thumb of
each hand over each leak and called
Justify for help. He was finally heard
In the regions below, and when the
servant girl appeared he besought her
to put on her hat and run for q
plumber.
1t took Bridget some time 10 realize
that her master had not gone entirely
dart, still more time to array, herself
III her outer garments, and anyone
who has tried to find a plumber on a
holiday may imagine how long it was
before she corraled one and brought
him home with her.
At any rate, when the Brooklyn
mans wife returned repeated ringings
at the doorbell only resulted in her
hearing confused and indistinct bel
lowings from within which she could
not understand. With the aid of an
obliglng butcher boy she finally
sprung the catch on basement win
dow. On ascending to the upper
story she found her spouse fiat on his
face, hanging on to that water pipe
with both hands and using LANGUAGE
more picturesque than she had ever
heard him employ before. BY the time
she had decided she had not broken
into an insane asylum by mistake,
Bridget arrived with a reluctant and
diftident plumber, and the Brooklynite
was released from his predicament.
He goes out of town on holidays now,
and he still glances at innocent ap-
pearing pipes with shudders of appre-
hension.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Potatoes and Cheese.

Boil eight or more potatoes, nix to-
gether with a cupful of hot milk. Beat
until very light, seasoning to taste and
shape into cone-shaped mound on Il
buttered baking dish. Make a large
hollow III the center of the mould,
pour in filling made of tablespoonful
and half of melted butter, half q
cupful Of grated cheese, the yolzs o.
two eggs we'll beaten and salt ana pep
per. When the cheese has melte1 and
is mixed with the butter and eggs pour
the mixture into the hollow mound
Spread the sides of the mound with
grated cheese and bake until brown in
a hDt oven.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
CARE OF THE FLOORS
VARIOUS SUBSTANCES MAY BE
USED FOR POLISHING THEM.
Water Should Be Employed sparingIy,
As It Will Cause the Wood to
Expand-Oil and Wax Con.
sidered the Best.

If one has been so fortunate as to
secure hardwood floor, the intelligent
care OF 1t becomes very important
matter and one which is not particu.
larly difficult if a little thought and
attention are given to the subject.
Various materials are employed for
this purpose, but the processes are all
similar, namely, that of rubbing the
surface with some sort of an oil or
wax. In general, it is a safe rule new
er to apply water to the surface of
nice floor, at least not in sufficient
quantities to wet the fiber of the wood
to any extent, because all wood, even
oak. Is susceptible to moisture and to
the extent to which the fbers expand
they will dry afterwards and gradu-
ally cracks will appear in the boards.
II something has been spilled on the
floor SO that it is absolutely necessary
to wash 1t, this should be done with a
cloth wrung out Of water. For tn"
most part. however, oil and wax in
some form are the proper cleaning
and polishing mediums. It is said that
equal parts of sweet oil, turpentine
and vinegar. we'll mixed and we'll rub
bed into the floor with cotton or WOOL
en- rags, is a highly successful method
ut treating polished oak floor. The
acid IN the vinegar cuts the dirt and
CRIME that works into it from shoes,
the sweet oil gives luster and the
turpentine dries it. There are any
number Of articles on the market that
are advertised for this purpose, and
some OF them are very effective. In
testing any new brand Of wax or other
application. it Is we'll to try 1t first of
all on small portion Of the floor in
some 1nconspicuous part of the room
A weighted brush is a great advan-
tage, though more or less expensive
A piece Of plank covered with Brus-
sells carpet Is not a bad substitute.
The above-named mixture does not
need to be applied to the floor oftener
than once month, and about once
year a coat Of good floor wax should
be we'll rubbed into the floor.
The application of varnish to a hard
wood floor is modern method of fin
tsht!g. The old-time method being
that Of rubbing them with wax, and
very beautiful surface may be thus
produced. provided the floor has first
had a thorough coating with q paste
filler which fills up every pore and
crack and makes a perfectly smooth
surface.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Metallic Trimmings.

Gold and silver are used lavfshlv in
all for1as OF neutrality-suspicious.. pas.
sement"rfes. applique embroideries,
laces, etc. but, as a rule, these metal
lie trimmings are in the soft, dull
tones aud achieve richness and beauty
w1thou: being garish or barbaric.
There are beautiful heavy silver and
gold lacss, crocheted by hand after
the fashion of the Irish lace, and 9th.
ers fine and thin as spider web. Deep
lace bouncing. with gold or silver net
top Is made with enough to form an
entire skirt. and the chantilly and
alencnn meshes and designs are clev-
erly reproduced.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Happy Future in Store for Him.

Here is a sensible mans views of
the sort of woman he would like to
marry: I'm afraid l don't care for
the one-sided woman. My wife is GER
tainly not going to be too strong
minded, and you can bet a large sum
she is not going to be bit masculine,
but she's going to have plenty of in
terests and avoid a rut as she would
the smallpox. The little woman
whose only thought is husband and
babies and how the dinner turns out
may be all very nice in short story,
but I'd rather come home to find out
that my wife had been to a" club or
to suffrage meeting or an aeronaut
meet than to discover after 20 years
of marriage that she had fallen 100
miles behind my mental and spiritual
development. When I marry it shall
be for companion, not for house
hold ornament or family drudge"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Savory Stow.

11ace some chopped vegetables of alt
kinds in frying pan and cook in a
little butter till soft and Drowned.
Then put them in a stew pan and
cover with stock water. Cook for
an hour, adding chopped parsley, pep,
per and salt. Press all through II sieve,
thicken with Drowned -four AID boil
five minutes, stirring we'll. LIST it get
cold. Cut slices of meat, freed from
skin and fat, and put in the gravy,
simmering slowly for half an hour:
serve very hot, with a garn1sh OF beets,
chopped capers or fried onions scat.
tered over.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Might Have Been Kelly.

Priam. king of Troy, had come over
to the camp Of the Greeks, praying to
be given the body of his son, slain by
Achilles.
The occasion appealed to Odysseus'
strong sense Of humor
HAS anybody here seen Hector 2?
he warbled.
II Ireland had been known in those
days it is shrewdly conjectured that
Hector's name would have been Kelly
and on that supposition the refrain
endured till yesterday. when it be
came extinct-Puck
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
TO KEEP SILVER BRIGHT
Polish Well Once . Week, Keep In
Drawers Lined With Channels
or Flannel.

All household silver needs careful
attention. and to keep it in good con-
dltlon the housewife must sacrifice
considerable of her time. When
teachlng an inexperienced maid her
duties In the household the mistress
should specially stipulate that the sill
yer should be cleaned at least once
IN each week. and that list OF all
tne pieces should be kept on hook
IN the pantry. After the, thorough
cleansing of all the pieces they should
be counted and checked off with the
list on the hook.
Under no conditions should any sill
yer be allowed to remain out in the
pantry at night, unless there Is a spe-
clal place for it. Each housewife usu-
ally has method of her own for
cleansing the silver. A good polish,
free from all sorts of grit and dirt, is
the best thing that can be used. This
can be rubbed on with a soft cloth
and the polishing done later with a
chamois. Where engraved pieces
are cleaned great care is necessary
10 get all the Polish from the creases
and crevices. where it is most likely
to lodge.
One solution of the problem Of TAX
Ing care of silverware when 1t IL not
in use has been effective. A cup
board Is built under the pantry
shelves and fitted with a special lock
and compartments made for the sepa-
rate pieces. A shelf the length OF
the cupboard is placed little higher
than the center, thus leaving the low
er portion for larger pieces. Both
shelf and bottom are covered with
thick red flannel, and, in order that
dust may not gather, there is q sepa-
rate flooring. as it were, under the
flannel. THIS permits it being taken
out and thoroughly brushed. The up
per SHELF ia divided into boxlike Sec
lions, in which the splall pieces fit
easily. It requires less than five
minutes to put away everything, and
no longer to take them out in the
morning. Cha1nois is d good lining
for drawers where silver is kept.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24

To Hang Out the Winter Washing.
A good way to save yourself and
handkerchiefs in freezing weather is
to get a line long enough for the
amount you have ip wash. pin hand
kerchiefs on line while in the laundry
carry line on yard, AMI hang on hooks.
When dry take line from hooks, carry
to laundry and remove clothespins.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Marouerites.

Beat two eggs slightly. Add one
cup brown sugar, one-half cup -four
mixed with one-fourth teaspoon baking
powder, one-thlrd teaspoon salt, one
cup pecan nat meats. cut in small
pieces. Fill slnall buttered tins two
thirds full of mixture and place pecan
nut meats on each. Bake in q mod
crate oven Is minutes.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Fried Eco Plant

One egg plane, two eggs, half a cup
of milk. -four for thin batter, salt and
fat for frying. Slice aud pare each
slice. Lay in salt and water one hour:
dry between two towels and dip each
slice In batter made of the materials
above gwen. Fry in hot fat to a good
brown. Drain well, put spoon of
grape jelly on each slice after serving,
If liked.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Cypress In SpItzbergen.

cypress IN SpItzber9en.
Swamp expresses that grow in Flor
ida today once flourished in Spitzber-
gen, says Count de Geer, the leader
of Swedish geological expedition
which has Just returned from an ex-
ploration trip to that bleak and ice
bound island. The expedition found
geological strata which are described
by Count de Geer as one colossal
herbarium in fossilized state. They
are said to justify the assumption that
in! early periods the entire north pole
region was one vast low-lying plain
covered with dense forest. Evidences
of the early vegetation now present
themselves in extensive coal deposits
which a newly formed company Is be-
ginning to work. It IL expected that
$4,000 tons Of Spitzbergen coal will DO
shipped next year. Today no plant
grows on Spitbergen taller than an
inch or two at the most
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
SteWed Celery.

Wash and clean six or eight heads
Of celery: cut about an inch long:
boil until tender; pour of the water:
mix through a white sauce made az
follows: Heat half-pint of milk: when
hot add one tablespoonful of -four and
the same of butter mixed to a smooth
paste; stir this into the hot milk: nea
son with pepper and salt and allow to
stand in the back of the fire for I've
minutes. then stir into the celery.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Trouble BREWING.

"See here. Mr.. Yankem," said tho
landlord, patience has ceased to be a
virtue in your CASE"
Why, what's the trouble?" quer1ed
the dentist.
WELL" replied the landlord, you'll
either have to move your Painless
Dental Parlor' somewhere else or
make your patients stop hollering. Tho
other tenants won't stand for 1t any
longer"
served.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
OLD FLATIRONS MADE new

A shoe of thin nickeled steel, which
can be attached to any old Eatiron is
here illustrated. The old iron, it
makes no difference how worn and
rough, Is first heated over the fire
and then the shoe is slipped on, tho
spring attachment holding 1t solidly
In position.-Popular Mechanics.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Lemon and Banana Sherbet.

Mash two perfectly ripe and soft
bananas to pulp, add the juice of two
lemons and two cups of sugar, mash
and blend together, then add one
quart full milk, pouring it in slowly to
prevent curdling, then freeze. Per
fectly ripe peaches can be used instead
of bananas, If preferred.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
A Modern Method.

But" said the theatrical manager,
I've read most of your Jokes in the
newspapers ,..
Yes" replied the playwright, II
thought I'd be sure to get reasonably
good ones II used only those that
had bsen considered worth printing
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Their Freshness.

These eggs don't seem to be real
fresh" objected the man from Phila-
delphia.
well, it's your fault. then," snapped
the Cincinnati waitress; they were
fresh when brought them on, but
you've been half an hour opening EN-"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Scrambled Mutton.

Two cups Of chopped cold mutton,
two tablespoontuls Of hot water and
piece Of butter as large as an English
walnut. When the meat is hot, break
In three eggs and constantly stir until
the eggs begin to stifien. Season with
pepper and salt. @
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
The Professors Plan.

II think l should like to lave a
college degree" said Mr. Dustin Stax
"Have you been engaged in any
great or important work." asked the
professor.
Indeed, I have. I've been going
over my enormous pay roll"
"Ah! Perhaps we might take some
recognition of your proficiency in the
hire mathematics"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Bananas on i3alf She'll

Trim ends Of bananas, split length
wise without removing skins; mark
sections crosswise with a knife, and
aqueeze little lemon juice over them,
and sprinkle with sugar. Serve on
lettuce leaf and garnish with slices of
lemon: Mice for breakfast.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Scented Water.

When washing blouses, fine haudker
chiefs, lace wells, ties, etc., put small
lump of orr;s root in the rinsing water
This imparts delicate violet scent t.
them, much more permanent than AM
that can be achieved by q sachot = .
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Among Hiqhwaymen.

Nm0np 5JI0HV1yH1e0s
What did that shady flnancier dc
when you stopped him and said. Your
money or Jour life?
HE told me- that II didn't give him
. half interest IN my little enterprise
he'd organize Z competing enterprise
and drive me out II BUSINESS.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Pride Of Ownership.

Pride Of Ownership.
Where's something wrong in tho
perspective Of this picture"
YES"
The house in the foreground looks
like a mountain and the mountain In
the background looks like a mole
hill"
"Oh, that's due to the relative i'm.
portance of the house in the eyes Of
the artist. That is picture of his
new bungalow"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
She Was wilma,

He (timidly) Miss Peachly-er-
Clara, do you care if l call you by
your first name?
She-Oh, no-and-er-1 don't be-
lieve l should care II my friends had
the right to call me by your last
ZANE.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Still Better.

Mrs. Bla3e-Have you begun your
suit for divorce?
Mrs. Highupp-No, but I've begun
the suit I'm going to wear when get
my divorce.-Puck.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Overcome.

Overcome.
i understand Pipps tainted dead
away In restaurant yesterday morn.
ing"
$50 he did"
What was the cause?'
"Pipps had just ordered an orange
and a cup of coffee for his breakfast.
when he overheard a man at an ad-
joining table ordering an extra sirloin.
French fried potatoes. three fried eggs,
sliced tomatoes and a plate of hot
rolls"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
GETTING an Education.

Has your son learned much since
he went to college?" asked the new
minister
"Naw," replied Farmer Oatcake.
but hev, by hen!"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Shocked.

SnOCke0.
Mrs. Bacon-1 see It is said that GER
tain species of fish generate measur-
able quantities of electricity in their
bodies.
Bacon-Yes, believe that is so.
Were you ever shocked by a fish
you caught, dear?"
mo, but I've been shocked by some
of the fish stories 1'ye heard."-Yon4
kers Statesman.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Barred,

II am going to enter the contest"
said the aviator. Ito sec which bird
man can drop the most objects onto
battleship; l don't know whether to
Use eggs or oranges"
"Oh. take pan Of my biscuits."i
cooed the wife.
my dear, this 10 imitation war, not
real war;"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24

To Destroy Black Gunpowder.
The safest way to destroy black
gunpowder is to throw 1t into water.
thereby desolving the saltpeter.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24

Judge-You are regarded as one OF
the shrewdest confidence men in the
country, and yet you are here.
Prisoner-Yes; I guess it was a
case Of over-conf1dence, your honor.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Same Old Bluff.

The notes she writes are full Of bliss
That seldom comes to mortaIs lot:
But when she says she sends a kiss
It means she's made another blot
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Men and Anniversaries

significance. That it is only the date
they forget
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
OH, WHAT'S?

''Oh, what's the use of sighing?~
The cheerful people say.
In truth. there's no denying
IT'S seldom found to pay.
''Oh. what's the use of erowliner'
The optimists inquire.
The chaps who're always scowling
Their friends and neighbors tire.
Oh. what's the use Of looking
Upon the darker side?
The ship Of Hope is booking
Come on, let's take q ride.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Lifted.

What makes You think your land
ledy = III the uphft movement r
The inc1eass g the psiee o. board.aI
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24

First Reformer-It's about time for
your committee to begin its campaign
| against vice.
Second Reformer-Oh! no; they
| haven't had all their pictures In the
| newspapers yet.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
Get Busy.
In this space
We wish to say
Christmas Is
Not far away.
A Bad Loser,

Johnny, what ails your little broth.
err"
Jaw, he's bum sport"
What do you mean?"
II wrasseled with him to SEQ which
Of us would have the candy you gave.
him, and he lost; now he's putin up
a holler!"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24

Judge-How did you come to get
drunk?
Defendant-Fa1th, yer honor, Dim
not to blame. OF didn't know what OF
was dom.
Judge-You didn't? How was that?
Defendant-Well, ye see. sor, OF was
under tn influence Of liquor whin OF
shtarted.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24

Remedy Worse Than the Disease.
Mr.. Chinn-rve just been reading,
my dear, of a new cure for nervous
prostration. The patient isn't allowed
to talk for weeks.
Mrs. Chinn-Huh! I'd just as soon
die from prostration as from exasper-
alton.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24

Excessive Punishment.
From Manuers
Gilt throne they yanked him.
When at the worst
They should have spanked him.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24
lte Requirement.

its Requirement.
An automatic piano must have
tendency to make its owners con.
ceited."
why 500"
Because generally they do put on
such airs"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24

And They Probably viii.
Dogs as bridesmaids!
Bow wow-wow!
They should lead
A dogs life now.