davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

QUITE FRESH-She-Did you see
many fresh faces at the opera the other
night? He-Oh, Yes. Some of them
had only just been made that evening.
Boston Transcript
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Charles Mcdonald, Hawley, spent
Wednesday in town.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

The Democratic congressman will
hold caucus in Washington April
3. to determine upon a general pol
icy to be pursued, to select a speak
er and also to discuss various other
appointments, committees, etc. MS
is the first time the Democrats have
had anything to say about these mat
ters in many years.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Mr.. and Mrs. Tyler Hawkins,
Pleasant Mount, spent Thursday in
Honesdale.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Abraham Susnitzky returned to his
home in Danbury, Conn, Thursday
afternoon, after visiting relatives in
town.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

The Spring and Summer Wash
Dresses at Menner & Co. are more
beautiful then ever; latest forms. 1876
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Miss Loretta Malloy, Taylor, /!
visiting friends in Honesdale anC
Haw1ey.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Mrs. Ed. Mueller, Pittston, spent
Tuesday with relatives in town.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10
: A CBNT-A--WORD =
FOR SALE.

FOR SALE-Eggs for setting sin
gle comb White Orphingtons, Kel-
Berstrass Strain, $3.50 per Is; White
Pekin Ducks, S1.00 per II. Chas.
S. Burger, White Mills, Pa. 16t4
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Horace Can, Dunmore, was in
town on business this week.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

John Refer, Mercersburg Acad-
emy, is spending few days with his
parents here.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Judge j. L. Sherwood, Preston,
is spending several days in town.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

DR.. w. T. Perkins, Carbondale,
was a professional caller here We'd
nesday.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

A. G. Rowland, Rowland, was a
weekend caller in the Maple City.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Hermann Harder is able to be out
again after severe attack of sick
ness. His brother, Augustus, is still
confined to the. house, but is up and
about.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Frank De Laney Joined the Coast
Artillery, Tuesday, at Scranton, and
left for Fort Slogan, Wednesday.
Mr.. De Laney is a popular young
man eighteen years of age.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

THE CITIZEN is in receipt of a
souvenir postal card from Atlantic
City, N. j., showing the first harem
skirt on the boardwalk. The couple
were hooted off the boardwal- just
after they had a picture snapped.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Costly and handsome bar fixtures
are being installed at the Hotel
Wayne.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

q. Henderson, Siko, transacted
business in town, Thursday.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Mr.. and Mrs. A. e. Sheard, Cal
kins, spent Wednesday in the Maple
City.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Next week is Red Mems week.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

School children may attend the
lecture at the High School Auditor
ium next Tuesday evening, by pay
ing 10 cents; all others, 25 cents.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Judge G. B. Wittmer, appointed to
succeed Judge Archibald in the Mid
die District of the United States
court arrived in Scranton Tuesday
and took his oath of office Wednes-
day morning. He will maintain his
residence at Sunbury and will hold
sessions of the court from Monday
to Wednesday of each week. No
changes in the personnel of the court
will be made at present.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Thomas Lotus transacted busi-
ness in Scranton Tuesday.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Mrs. Charles Gray Main street, is
seriously i'll.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

John Racht is seriously i'll at his
home on River street.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

B. w. Schultz, Scranton, trans
acted business in town, Wednesday.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

T. F. McGrew, Scranton, will speak
at City Hall, March II at 8 p. m.
on Incubation and Brooding," un-
der the auspices of the Wayne Coun-
ty Pigeon and Poultry Association.
Admission free. Mr.. McGrew has
charge of the l. G. S. course in poul-
try raising, is man of forty years
experience, and considered one of
the best authorities on the subject in
the United States.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

V. S. Sims, Middletown, N. Y, is
spending a few days in town.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Miss Mamie Haggerty, Whites
Valley, is visiting relatives in Homes
dale.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Rev. A. l.. Whitaker attended a
meeting Monday in South Bethle-
hem, of the diocesan missionary
committee composed of six clergy
men and six laymen, of which he is
a member.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Public worship will be held at the
Berlin Baptist church on Sunday af-
ternoon next at $3.50 o'clock. Rev.
Geo. S. Wendell will preach.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

C. F. McHenry, Binghamton, N.
Y. is spending several days at the
Allen House.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

The Ladies' Aid of st. Johns
Evangelical Lutheran church are
serving light refreshments, coffee,
kuchen, etc. from 2 to 8 p. m. to-
day (Thursday).
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Services in the First Presbyterian
church, the Rev. w. II. Swift, D. D.,
pastor, Sunday, March 12. Morning
at 10:30 o'clock. Evening at 1880
o'clock, Sunday School IL M. Chris
tian Endeavor at GAS p. m. DR..
Swift's subject Sunday evening will
be Sixteen Ounces To A Pound"
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

all postofiices of the country are
now required, for time, to count
every piece of mail passing through
the office, and classify the same,
weighing and making a record of
the weight of each class of mail.
This extra work causes considerable
delay in delivering the mail.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Miss Name Kelly, head milliner
for Katz Brothers, left Wednesday
morning for New York City in
quest of the latest metropolitan de-
signs.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

The Rev. H. w. Diller, Pottsville,
will preach at Grace P. e. church,
Friday night at 1880 o'clock.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

P. H. Durkin, proprietor of the
Coyne House, Scranton, William
Webster, Scranton, j. F. Mulherin,
New York City, were the guests
Sunday of Thomas LOTUS at the
Commercial hotel.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

C. Livingston, Pleasant Mount,
was a Thursday business caller in
the Maple City.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Lewis Lybolt, Damascus, transact
ed business in town, Thursday.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

P. H. Laughlin, Ashland, was a
Wednesday business caller in the
Maple City.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Captain James Ham Post, No. 1913,
G. A. r., will hold an Appomatox
Camp Fire on April 8.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

Mrs. A. G. Loomis has been con-
fined to her apartments at the Ho-
tel Wayne for the past few days, by
a severe attack of illness, but is
much improved at this writing.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

All the Methodist Episcop;
churches in Wayne county are NAL
ing preparations for winding up tn
Conference year which ends tn
month. The annual conference wi
convene on Wednesday, March 2!
at Owego, N. Y.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

c. B. Johns, Cresson, transacted
business in town, Wednesday.
John Reiler has purchased an
automobile.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

John Refer has purchased from
the Refer estate, the former resi-
dence of his father, on Main street.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-03-10

DR.. and Mrs. B. Golden, Carbon
dale, spent Wednesday in Honesdale
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
CONDENSED RECORD OF the
PROGRESS OF EVENTS At
HOME AND ABROAD.
FROM ALL SOURCES
SAYINGS, D o N q ., ACHIEVE.
MENrs, sUFFERiNes, HOPES
AND FEARS OF MANKIND.
Western Newspaper Union News Service
w EST ERN.

A. G. Rushlight, regular Republican.
Oregon.
Garrett and Martin Hankie, broth
ers, aged 90 and 25. respectively. were
drowned in the Raccoon river near Des
Moines.
AT Tulsa. Okla. the government
thermometer registered LOG degrees in
the shade during one of the recent
hot days.
Miss Grace Bryan, youngest daugh-
ter of William Jennings Bryan, and
Richard Lewis l. Hargreaves have
married, at Lincoln. Neb.
There has been one death from heat
prostration at Dallas, Texas, the vic.
tim being Miss Pearl Hooper, aged 20.
The maximum temperature was 1903.
The report of the State Controller
issued, giving the first annual assess
ment levied against corporations under
the new tax law, shows total of $780,
375,O0O.
Existing freight rates on coal from
Colorado and Wyoming mines to Fre-
mont, Neb., are held by the interstate
commerce commission to be unreas-
onably high.
Four girls were drowned when II
squall struck the craft on Little Lake
Butte Des Mortes, at Appleton, Wis &,
and capsized it. The victims were mem
bers of picnic party.
Attorneys representing Nat Goodwin
have filed suit at Los Angeles to re,
cover from Edna Goodrich, the actors
and real estate valued at more than
$25O,OOO.
A. D. Dutton, ninetytwo years old.
who attributes his longevity to his
regular habit of eating beans. has
been married to Miss Rebecca Jane
Galloway, twenty-four years old at
Muldrow, Okla.
William Hill, his wife and their two
small children were beaten to death
with an ak in their home in Arden
wald. n suburb of Portland, Ore. The
four bodies were discovered by a
house.
Carrie Nation, the Kansas saloon
smasher, died at Leavenworth, of
paresis. Mrs. Nation had been in poor
health for months, and on January 9th
entered the sanitarium, in which she
died, hoping to recover from a ner-
vous breakdown.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
WASHINGTON.

Worthless except as junk, the old
monitor Puritan, which was sunk in
Hampton Roads, will be sold to the
highest bidder.
"The bill. the whole bill, and moth
ing but the bill" Thus President Taft
sums up an earnest plea for the un.
amended adoption by the Senate of the
Canadian reciprocity agreement.
The United States Steel Corpora
tion is to be put upon the antitrust grill
at last. Not only will the government
move to dissolve it as an illegal combi-
nation, but Its principal officers are in
danger of criminal prosecution.
A saving of about $25O,OOO annually
and gain in general efficiency are
the expected results of the proposed
reduction from five to three in the
number of divisional headquarters in
the army, not including the Philip.
pines.
Secretary MacVeagh has announced
that Charles P. Montgomery, for many
years chief of the customs division of
the Treasury Department, is to go
with the American Sugar Refining
Company as the head of its customs
service.
President Taft is positively opposed
to Legislative claims in regard to the
wool tariff during the special session
of Congress and before the tariff
board renders report covering its
investigation of the wool-growing
business of the country.
The Brkbeck bank in High Hol-
horn, which withstood run last fall,
caused by rumors that the institution
was in trouble, has suspended pay
ment. The directors estimate the de-
ficiency at sl,s75.O00. but the actuaries
think s3,750,000 will he nearer the
mark The total liabilities of the bank
are $43,3S0,910. An official receiver
has taken charge.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
FOREIGN.

In Cuba a movement to put an end
to the national lottery is under way.
Lawrence Hargrave. . box kite in
ventor of Sydney. n. 8. W., claims to
have constructed an aeroplane which
he calls fool proof"
One hundred and fifty killed, sew
enty-five wounded. property loss $780,
900. are the net results of the earth
quake which rent the capital of Mex
leo recently.
Twenty-eight Mexican liberals
who were opposed to Madero wers
shot at sunrise ON Saturday and Sun
day in the Altar district, near Com
pania and Altar. Mexico.
King Georges imperial crown and
the new crown which has been de-
signed for Queen Mary Tor the COR
onation are being exhibited by Gar
rards. the crown jewelers.. The value
of the crowns is $7.500.000.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
DOCTOR PRESCRIBES
CUTICURA REMEDIES

II wish to let you know of couple
OF recent cures which have made
by the use of the Cuticura Remedies.
Last August, Mr.. of this city
came to my office, troubled with
severe skin eruption. 1t was dermatitis
in its worst form. 1t started with a
slight eruption and would affect most
parts OF his body. thighs, elbows,
chest. back and abdomen-and would
terminate in little pustules. The itch
ing and burning was dreadful and he
would almost tear his skin apart, try
ing to get relief. l recommended all
the various treatments l could think
of and he spent about fifteen dollars
on prescriptions, but nothing seemed
to help him.
'In the meantime my wife, who
was continually suffering with a slight
skin trouble and who had been try
ing different prescriptions and meth
DDS with my assistance, told me she
was going to get some Of the Cuticura
Remedies and give them fair trial.
But as 1 did not know much about
Cuticura at that time I was doubtful
whether it would help her. Her skin
would thicken, break and bleed. es-
pecially on the fingers, wrists and
arms. could do nothing to relieve
her permanently. When she first ap.
piled the warm baths of Cuticura
Soap and applications of Cuticura
Ointment she saw decided improve
ment and in few days she was com
pletely cured.
II lost no time in recommending
the Cuticura Remedies to Mr.. -,
and this was two months ago. told
him to wash with warm baths of the
| Cuticura Soap and to apply the Cuti-
cura Ointment generously. Believe
me. from the very first days use Of
the Cuticura Remedies he was greatly
relieved and today he is completely
cured through their use. l have great
faith In the Cuticura Remedies and
shall always have a good word for
them now that I am convinced of
their wonderful merits" (Signed) B.
L. Whitehead, M. d., 10S Dartmouth
St., Boston. Mass, July %, 1910.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
JAMES BRAID SAYS:

No Athlete can do himself justice if his
feet hurt. Many thousands are using daily.
abroad and in this country. Aliens Foot
Ease, the antiseptic powder to be shaken
into the shoes. All the prominent Golfers
and Tennis Players at Augusta. Pinehurst
and Palm Beach got much satisfaction
from its use this Spring. 1t gives rest
fulness and springy feeling that makes
you forget you have feet. Aliens Foot
Ease is the greatest comfort discovery Of
the age and so easy to use. 1t prevents
soreness, bisters or putting and gives rest
from tired, tender or swollen feet. Seven
teen years before the public. over 10000
testimonials. Don't go on your vacation
without a package of Aliens Foot-E Ease.
Sold everywhere. Csc. Don't accept any
substitute Sample sent FREE. Address,
Allen S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
SPORT.
WESTERN LEAGUE FINDING.

Articles have been signed for the
ten-round go between Mike Malone and
Young Erlenborn at Walsenberg, June
22nd.
New York took the lead in the Ma
tional League pennant race by defeat
ing Chicago in the final game of the
series, to /.
Eddie McGourty OF Oshkosh, and
Young Mahoney of Racine have been
matched to box ten rounds at Gary,
ILL.,, on June 3rd.
Pakey Mcfarland Of Chicago had
everything his own way In a ten-round
bout in Cleveland with Phil knight
of Leavenworth, Kan.
News has just reached New York of
the death in Gloucestershire, England,
of DR.. Edward Grace. the Oldest of the
Grace brothers, famous the world over
as cricket players. DR.. Grace was
seventy years old.
What is said to be new world s
record in baseball was made at Hunt
ington, w. Va, in the game between
the Charleston and Huntington teams
of the Virginia Valley league, when
neither team made hit until the
eleventh inning.
G. l.. (Tex) Rickard, who is now in
Buenos Ayres. who was the promoter
of the Johnson-Jeffries fight in Reno
July 4th. will offer purse of $780, 900
for Jack Johnson to fight any two
men in the world the same afternoon
for the worlds championship, al
Buenos Ayres.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
GENERAL.

Andrew Carnegie, it is announced
has donated $2O5.OOO for heroic fund
in Holland.
The first death of the year as re
suit of the heat in Oklahoma has been
reported from Oklahoma City.
June 10 seven deaths were caused by
the extreme heat, and many prostra.
tions reported in Chicago. The ther.
mometer registered 9S.3.
For the first time in the history OF
the Albany. N. Y, law school, WON.
an carried off the highest honors OF
commencement this year.
The signature of Governor Foss is
all that is now needed to enact into
law the direct nominations bill for
Massachusetts,.
There was never June day in Chica.
go as hot as June 9th in forty years in
which temperature record has been
kept. The thermometer; climbed until
98.5 degrees was registered.
The Wisconsin Senate adopted a
resolution declaring Senator Ike
olCphCuSoh 4io scat III luC
United States Senate, and requesting
that body to investigate his election.
A government Investigation of con.
ditions in the lumber industry, look
ing toward the prosecution of the So
called lumber trust" has begun be-
fore special grand jury in the fed.
eral District Court in Chicago.
Eighty years of age and still enjoy.
ing college life, Mrs. Amy D. Winship
of Racine, Wis, will enter the Uni
versity of Wisconsin next fall as the
only octogenarian coed In the United
States, and probably in the world.
Physicians of Manchester. Conn,
have organized a medical and surgical
trust and arranged scale of prices.
The price for amputation of one toe or
finger is $40, IS for each finger or toe
additional. 1t will cost IS more to have
twins than babies one at time:
Four railroad presidents. two inter.
state commerce commissioners, for
mer cabinet officer, bankers, manufac-
turers, college professors, lawyers and
labor leaders will meet In New York,
June %, to frame a model law for uni
form state public utilities legislation.
Six persons were drowned in Utah
lake at Salt Lake City, when the
launch Galilee. in which sixteen REQ
pile were attending party given in
honor of the approaching marriage of
Miss Vera Brown and Edward B.
Holmes. capsized. Among those
drowned were the engaged young cou.
pie.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
HoMEsEEKERs ExcURsI sIoN
RATES TO TEXAS AND NEW
MEXICO POINTS DUR.
ING 1911.

On the first and third Tuesdays OF
each month during the entire year
The Colorado and Southern Rail-
way will sell round trip homeseekers'
excursion tickets to a great many
points in New Mexico and Texas at
greatly reduced rates. Final limit
25 days allowing liberal stop-over
privileges. For detailed information,
rates, etc., call on your nearest Colo.
RADIO and Southern agent or address T.
E. Fisher, General Passenger Agent,
Denver. Colo.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
STOKE IN BLADDER REMOVED
m REMARKABLE WAY

A year and half ago was taken with
severe attack of kidney trouble that
panied me to such an extent that NOR
phine had to be given me. Was attended
by doctor who pronounced it as stone
in the bladder and prescribed Lthis
Water. took Lthia Water and tablets
for some time and received no relief from
them. stopped taking medicines for some
time and having some DR.. kilmers
swamp-Root in the house, decided to
try it and felt much relieved; while taking
the second bottle commenced to pas
gravel in urine until lad passed in al
at least half dozen or more and have
not suffered the slightest sines and in al
have taken one bottle and a half and feel
very grateful to DR.. Kilmer's Swamp Root.
Yours very truly,
II. w. SPINKS.
Camp Hill, Ala.
Personally appeared before me this
10th of August, 1909, H. w. Spinks, who
subscribed the above statement and made
oath that same il true in substance and
in fact.
A. B. LEE,
Letter I. Notary Public.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
Letter u
Dr. kIlIaer 4 c.
RiaShsato., \. 7.

Prove What Swamp Root Will Do For Yos
Send to DR.. kilmer & Co., Bingham
ton, N. Y, for a sample bottle. 1t will
convince anyone. You will also receive
booklet of valuable information, telling
all about the kidneys and bladder. When
writing, be sure and mention this paper.
For sale at all drug stores. Price fifty.
cents and one-dollar.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

Until within recent years there had
been ascertained no Trustworthy way
of finding out the age OF fish. 1t has
been shown that there mere size does
not indicate age. Reibisch, Heincke
and others have discovered that many
of the bones. scales and otoliths of
fishes have annual are rings. resembl-
ing those in tree trunks.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
Who She Was.

Well" laughed Squiggles. "some
men never know when they are
snubbed. That lady you Just spoke
to was about as distant as they make
'em in her greeting"
We'll, why shouldn't she be-" re-
torted Jabbers. She's a distant rela-
tive of mine"
by narriage?"
"No-by divorce. She got rid Of me
at Sioux Falls back in 1S9s."-Har-
per's Weekly
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

The royal coach of England was
built $50 years ago for the coronation
of George ILL., and weighs three tons.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
A Kicker.

Il wish the meddlesome busybody
who made two blades of grass grow
where only one grew before" grunted
the fat gentleman with the lawn now
er. pausing to wipe his perspiring
brow, could make two muscles grow
where there is only one now."-Ex-
change.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
First and Second Choice.

Uncle-Johnny, wouldn't you like
to be an angel?
Johnny-Not as long as there's q
show for me to become a baseball
pitcher or a circus clown.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

A woman can make an unfulfilled
promise go further toward her happl-
ness than man can an accomplished
fact toward his.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

To read one of his love letters a
year after he wrote 1t is beyond the
heroism of any man.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

Garfield Tea keeps the bodily machinery
in order; it regulates the digestive organs
and overcomes constipation.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

Heaps of stale eggs would be fresh
If so many people weren't too mean
to use them while they are.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

One hundred and fifty-two miles Of
the government railway lines in Vic
toria, Australia, have been relaid dur.
ing the years 190S-1910 with American
rails, 142 miles of s0-pound rails, and
10 miles of 100-pound rails.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

Moles and the mole cricket have
the same problem to negotiate in cut.
ting caves in the ground. SO here an
insect and an animal both have the
same shaped forelegs and shovel-like
hands and claws.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

The capital invested in German rail-
raods is about $50 an inhabitant, and
about $156 in the United States.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

When man is trying to take nap
and the flies bother him he can't get
half as mad with them as he can with
his wife about it.-New York Press.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16
A Short Month.

Il didn't have single engagement
to lecture in February" said the pro-
fessor
We'll, it's an even break. then." said
his wife.
How so!"
You and the month were both short
OF dates.'-Yonkers Statesman.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

Next to having to listen to the aver
age man tell joke the most horrible
torture is to have to let him describe
when he made great hit with It
New York Press.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

Some people seem to make a spe-
cialty Of thinking only near-thoughts.
The Holly chieftain., 1911-06-16

A woman wants everybody to be-
lieve all the nice things about her hus-
band that she couldn't possibly make
herself believe.