The Southern herald., 1911-05-19


a woman's sympathy and you have
secured her love. Be pensive, my
boy. but at the same time be pre-
pared to be heroic. It's a great com
hination-almost as good as a bar OF /
soap and two dozen clothes pins for
a dime"
The glggling young lady, who now
occupied Harold's thoughts to the ex-
elusion Of kerosene and molasses was
In the habit Of riding out every morn
ing on her bike. She always took a
certain road and covered a certain
distance. On a certain morning she
came across a dejected-loOking young
man seated on a stone by the road
side She couldn't say whether he
had busted his suspenders or lost
his mother by the chicken pox, and
she didn't care. She whizzed past
him In the most eold-hearted manner.
He was there again on the following
morning This time she was salts
fed that he was signing as well as
looking detected. On the third morn
ing he looked at her appealngly, Just
as If he had an attack Of the collie
and wanted to ask II she had her
flask OF brandy with her, 1t was the
same on the fourth and the fifth. II
is not a fat mans nature to be pen
sive and detected for long. He gets
discouraged over II and wants a
change The girl had never slack
ened her pace by a second. She had
never wavered. She had never seemed
to see him. So far as he could tell,
she kAd regarded him as a toadstool
or fungus growing on the rock. The
sage had just weighed out IA ounces
Of 60-cent tea for a pound, which is
allowable in all well-regulated family
groceries to Offset the leakage Of the
N. o. molasses barrels, when his ad-
vice was again asked for and given.
my son. there are three ways OF
winning a woman" he said. First,
try cheek. II that is a failure try the
pensive business. II that goes back
on you try heroics. The two first will
generally win, but you have the third
in reserve. The sex love a heroic
man. The shorter and fatter and more
heroic he is the quicker they fall in
love with him. leave II to you to
perform some daring deed. In trade
here we have often mixed 23 and 80
cent butter together and sold the
same at 20, but to capture a young
maiden's heart It must be something
more heroic than that"
1t was. Harold had all the ingredi-
ents at hand and he proceeded to
mix them. The young lady who would
not notice his pensiveness must be
saved from a tragedy, and he was the
one to do it. She had not yielded her
sympathy, but she must her graft
tude. When morning came again and
she rode out she saw the same pen
, sive young man sitting on the same
pensive stone. He still turned ar
appealing eye, but still in vain. She
; simply took 1t for an obstinate CASE
, of collie and let 1t go at that. Twenty
! minutes later, as she returned, there
was a COW in the middle Of the road
1t was a COW with a glare In her ey'
and a seeming disposition to pick W
girl and bike and toss them over thu
fence. The girl was coming down ;
! long hill at the rate of forty miles al
hour. Even a cock-eyed man coulC
see the impending tragedy II sht
: held for the COW 1t meant broker
bones; II she ran into the ditch
meant sudden death.
But the heroic Harold was there
! It was his business to be there. HI
!, had timed 1t all by the watch, and
was no dollar watch, either. The gir
: came on without word. He spran
out to drive the COW aside or perisl
: with her. He was about to shout ou
:. something appropriate to the occs
sion when a cyclone hit him. Anothe
hit the COW. Both were knocked int
: the highway ditch, and when tn
y young man recovered consciousness
he was fondly resting with his hea
:, on the cows heels and she was tr!
- ing to kick that head of. The C!
clone had done its work and passe
!. on. Harold staggered to his feet an
= looked around for dead girls an
- fragments Of bikes, but the road wa
n clear. They were eating breakfaI
at the villa half mile below.
,e you see, my son." said the groct
Il sage after driving spigot into a ne
K barrel Of cider vinegar made wit
n out reference to cider, some youn
v men are a success at love and SON
a at clerking In grocery, and aft
of resting up for the day and night yc
es may be here at the usual hour in ii
III morning to take down the shutter
. and make the usual display Of tom
ID toes and green corn on the platform
le