davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19
POURING MONEY
INTO A HOLE
BY GEORGE S. BANTA.

Just like pouring so much
money In a hole" a merchant
often says when approached on
the subject Of advertising his
business. will agree with him
In that statement, but ! want to
explain just how . understand il.
] want to remind that man
how, down in Texas a year ago,
there was company which put
nearly a million dollars Into a
MOLE" Finally, q vein Of oil was
struck, SO rich and so generous
in Its flow, that the money the
company put into the hole has
already come out again and
there Is every indication that II
will keep on coming until il has
been paid back scores of times.
That is the kind Of hole into
which you put your money FOR
advertising. But you don't need
TO 60 to Texas to find il. With
you, it is just around the corner
at the newspaper office. II you
do not advertise, advertising will
never give your business a tonic,
move those sheif-worn goods,
and put a swell In your ledger
balance.
] will admit that no merchant
can advertise without spending
money. Furthermore, real ad-
vertisins takes lots Of time and
thought and work. II Is also
true that those fellows down in
Texas might still be wondering
whether there was really any oil
down below them If they had
been SO attached to their cur
rency as to have been unwilling
to pin II to their faith and send
II down into the hole.
Which are you going to be
wise-acre pessimist clineIne
to the one talent you have, or
will you spend a part of il in
advertising that will bring you
back ten talents in the place Of
one?
Observation-Disclosures: :. s::,s:,
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

J. report comes from India Of how
four ferocious lions were captured
alive and unframed by means OF fly
paper Plainly. the nature takers have
not been discouraged. but are in fine
iettle for the season.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

If, While looking over your winter
garments on suspicion that some Of
them may be all wool. you happen 70
zee moth. the proper course of &C.
lion viii occur to you.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Lightning is keeping up Its -eputa-
hon for speed. 1t knocked an Ohio
telephone girl nsensible before she
rould give 1t the busy signal.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Boston is to have hospital for none
but rich people. and a new set Of
strictly aristocratic diseases are to be
thought out TO meet the wants of its
patients
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

The man who invented the lawn
mower died the other day. Why can't
something like this happen TO the
man who pushes one next door?
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

II would not be quite fair TO charge
all the suffering OF last week to the
account of humidity The heat had
something to do with Il.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Aeroplane races are bringing the va
rtous nationalities together more eff
lectively than any other thing since
the dispersion at Babel.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19
FIRE INSURANCE

Is the cheapest and best security .
man can buy. II saves him from worry.
perhaps from ruin and hSs family from
want The rates nre not very high
| Will be pleased to give them to ana
one who win come in and talk the mar
ter over Only safe companies repre-
se1sSd !. T AcDouEaL ceredo "
Va
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

The son OF the Begun OF RbopaI
caught in an escapade in Paris. is
sent home The cable says the begun
10 woman. Will somebody give us
the word for a male begun?
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

If the fly swatters attend strictly TO
business, some day we may be able to
sing; There are no flies on us" Sug-
gestion for a national anthem.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Two million trees have been plant
ed in Kansas this year, and yet Kan
sas is long way from being a cool
and shady spot.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Eggs criticised by Buffalo peopIe
Matched out chickens while left in
the health commissioner care over
night What do Buffalo people ex.
poet? Humming birds?
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

A sea serpent Aas already appeared
pt Atlantic City. 1t is Is feet long and
all regular patrons OF that resort are
seeing things
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Chicago professor advocates a
school for scientific spooning, but It
Btrikes us that spooners are born. not
made
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

The house fly may be of some use in
the world, but thus far he has been IN
able TO prove an albi. Therefore,
swat!
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

AN eastern clergyman tells MS TO
marry only our ideals, but he over
looks the fact that ideals change with
vears.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

With hay at s27 a ton in Chicago.
the Western farmer buys an automo-
bile and pays cash for It,
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Good hot weather advice is 10 drink
plenty of water. but not out OF a pub
Tic drinking cup.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Chicago women advocate shirtwaists
FOR policemen in summer. but who is
going to button them up the back?
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

An explosive golf ball Is something
new 10 us, although we have often
heard OF explosive golfers.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Now q doctor has produced u heart
stimulant from toads
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Death is a big winner In automobile
races.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Evanston has a rooster that sings
bass. Instead OF being nursed into
celebrity he is classed as & nuisance.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

Now is good time for the man who
invented all wool underwear TO keep
mum.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19
sssssssssssssssesssss.s.

Advertising Is not a gamble;
Il Is no more difficult or mystic
rlous than any other legitimate
business activity.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

While swatting the fly. let US re-
member that the horse needs a drink.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19
ssssssssssssssssssssss..

A little advertising ls q dan
geroUs thing; the largest adver-
tisers are, almost without exeep-
ton, the most successful ones.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1911-07-19

All dogs are not bad dogs.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-07-06
SUGAR At HIGH
mark FOR YEAR

Sugar today IL touching the high
water mark for the year. and n the
threatening tariff revision cloud were
removed, stocks ought to be jumping
up.
"Four-cent" sugar. prophesied
months ago by Ed POLITE, is now a
reality. Centrifugals are quoted at
-four and five-hundredths, and beet
sugar at eleven shillings eight pence,
a parity of 4.47.
The Warehouse Trust Company re-
ceived the news of the jump in sugar
yesterday and expect the price will be
maintained, although no news from
the mainland has been received today
Beet sugar gives promise Of going
higher and the optimistic here think
that cane will also advance.
The market Is unsettled to con-
siderable extent. and tariff news In
eaglerly waited for Eva sold be-
tween boards at $3.50 this morning.
the same as yesterday. and then ad-
vanced twenty-five cents Immediately
after the morning session of the HO-
nOlulu Exchange. Pioneer has re-
corded slump, selling today at $500
as against the last reported sale at
$205. One hundred Hawaiian Com
mercial was sold between boards for
$3.50, and that ended the sales of
sugar stocks, Five shares of Brew
cry at 5000 and scattering sales of
Pahang preferred, rubber, at SCI.
were also recorded by the Honolulu
Exchange.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-07-06
fern IS AGAIN
TURNED down

Mayor I L Fern extended the olive
.,.. a., p,,,,,-
.a.n v, 80 , We, ,a,,,nn ~,
.an p 49,, au a., .,,', ,or
wae s". , H.. ,,,, .,,a
.'I.... .'s...,
- - -. a., 49,, .,,,ar,,
-. A., a.. go,
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, a., rpo,a,n,Lo a,s,r,c,
$3.50, 49,, n..,,,. o.,
49, - ,n,,, LA. do,,n ,his
a. na, y, No r,hhon
~, 80 ID. ,,,as
.,.,,,',a, ,,,,,,,ar, ,ha,
,,"a hoan ,o,, ~ a mo,nen,n NJ Tho o,d
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-07-06

hut what's the use?" he asks
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-07-06

A favorable report ON the nominal
tion of william II. Lewis, the Boston
negro attorney, to be assistant attor-
ney-gencral was authorized by the
Senate committee on the judiciary.
william NJ. Davidson Of Omaha.
Ncb. was appointed superintendent
of public schools of the District Of
Columbia.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-07-06
NOTICE..

WaiaIua Agricultural Company, Ltd.
The stock books of the Waialua Ag-
ricultural Company, Limited, will be
closed to transfers Friday, July Z. 1911.
at 4 o'clock D. m, to Saturday. July
Is. 1911, inclusive
CHAS. II. ATHERTON.
Treasurer. Waialua Agricultural Com
pany, Ltd.
Honolulu. July 0, 1911. 4971-1t
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-07-06

w..tIv R.Il.ti. ., NM v..r
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-12-07

been working through the South this
fall and winter and on next Sunday
will pass through the city en- route to
Houston, Texas. where he will be the
chief figure in a big Y. M. c. A. re-
ligious meeting. SECRETARY Elanton
is trying to arr: nge for a meeting so
that the people of P ne Bluff can hear
this big fellow speak If Mr.. Blan-
tons plans materialize he will have
an open meeting for men and wo-
men at the Y NJ. c.. A. at 230 o'clock,
which will be addressed by Mr.. Mas
on. Big" Mason is as big physic lly
as he is spiritually and he Is said to
be a great evangelist and has a Won
derful power In convincing men of the
error of the.r ways. He Is over six
feet tall and Weigas more than 300
pounds He has dlweys done work
among the me 4, but Mr. Blanton plans
to have the meeting open to everyone
and it is certain that the auditorium
will be crowded.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-12-07
CARD OF THANKS.

30 t4@ Voter Of Jefferson County:
AItboasa aefeaEed, | ACCEPT the re.
suIs in thz best Of spirit end with
h. bast ofgood will congratulate
ny fellow-candidates upon their
success, aud assure them, and thoSe
who did not vote for me, OF my best
wishes and utmost good feeling.
shall unhesitatingly support and do
all l can for the successful candi-
dates at the General Election. Dur
ing the campaign it has been my
good fortune to form. many new &C
quaintances and Friendships. which ]
value and prize very highly; and !
now take this means Of thanking my
new-found friends. and those. who
voted for me, and assure each and
every one that: his support, is most
cordially appreciated. To them ]
owe debt Of gratitude which l car
never pay. -:
Yours very sine ArelY. !.
- A. r. COOPER.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-12-07
JACK 1R0XfL
DEFENDS HIS JOB
BELIEVES HE CAN CONVINCE CITY
COUNCIL THAT 4 CITY ELEC-
TRICIAN PAYS.
SAYS HE HAS FIGURES
Fire Hazards Lessened and Money
Paid Into Treasury Exceeds
Expense.
SAYS HE HAS FIGURES

City Electrician Jack Troxel, who
will probably be relieved of his jon
January !, # the action of the city
council at the last meeting is not re-
considered, Is now engaged In gath
ering data to show that the office ts
an important one and more than pays
the salary. 1t Is said he will send a
communication to the city fathers
with a statistical statement showing
the amount of money that has been
turned into the city treasury, which Is
greater than the expense Of maintain
ing the office.
II think" he said yesterday. that
l will be able to show that the office
is more than self-sustaining. 1t is
stated that the principal reason for
the council wishing to abolish the Of
flee Is that they say the office Is an ex-
pense to the city government. Since |
have had the Office the total amount
collected for permits for wiring, plac
lng..new. poles,-ate.;;7. has amounted to
s702.14. Ny salary for thet time, five
months; has amounted to $41s, which
leaves the sum Of $214.14 in the city
treasury that Otherwise would not
have been. there. :.
"But that Is not all: The city light
ing. has been increased Is per cent at
no increase In expense to the city, by
testing the amount.of power that the
light company was giving US, which
fell short of the power that We were
paying for Nearly all the Is candle
power Hahts IN the city have been in,
creased to 80 candle power, the result
Of re test Th8 .b6sfneag man say th3s
fi.s!.fanee rates. .haxe been decreased
III tie bus aa.s' raat e tbe=ei5v siuca
my position was. efsated from the
mere fact that detective wiring Is TIE
use Of many Manifestations, and
during my reg me all wiring contracts
were thoroughly Inspected before |
| Okla the job. The fact that fire
hazards have been cut down should b.
worth: something"
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-12-07
CARD OF'THANKS.,

To the Democratic Voters OF Jetfer-
son County and my friends:
I desire to thank you most sin
cerely for your votes and assistance
given ME In the recent Democratic
primary.
| was defeated for Circuit Clerk,
but l appreciate the help Of my
friends just as much as II ] had
been successful.
Unless | change my mind you will
have an opportunity to give me your
vote again two years from now.
am still of the opinion that will
make a good Circuit Clerk.
Again. thanking you, I am
Yours to. serve,
WAD TONEY.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-12-07
AN ALARM AT:NIGHT

That strikes terror to the entire
household is the loud hoarse and
metallic couch Of Group. No mistak-
Ing 1t. and fortunate, then the lucky
parents who keep FolAv's Honey and
Tar COMPOUND on hand. H. W. Cas-
selman. Canton, Ny, saws: ut IS
worth it's weight in gold Our little
children are troubled with croup and
boarseness, and all We give them Is
Foley's Honey and Tar Compound.
always have. bottle of 1t In the
house" w. L. Dewoody & Co.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-12-07
Cured in His Own Home Town

LITTLE ROCK, ARK. r. W. Cook,
1922 Spring: ST., tells the way for his
fellow townsmen to be cured of kid
ney and. bladder trouble as he him
self was cured. "Off and on for five
years l suffered with kidney trouble.
I had. a: severe pain just above my
kidneys and was troubled with a too
frequent action of the bladder. l got
some Of Foley's Kidney Pills for my
case, and after taking them for few
days, the pain. left my back and the
action of my kidneys and bladder was
natural and clear. In fact, l feel
much better than I have for years.
W L. Dewoody & Co.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-12-07
NOTICE

OF letting contract for the work.
ing of County Prisoners. Bids Will
he received at the office OF County
Judge of jefferson County, Arkan-
sas. until IL o'clock, noon, January
sth, 1912. for. the maintenance. safe
keeping and working of prisoners
committed to the County Jail of
Jefferson County for fines and for
FIXTURES for the term of two years
from January 1st, 1912. All bids
must be accompanied by certified
check for 100000, conditioned that
bidder will enter into contract and
make good and sufficient. bond If
contract is awarded.
C. M. PHlLPOT,
County Judge.
Pine Bluff, Ark, Dec. 6. 1911.
12-7-1m
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-12-07
MORE ABOUT THE CONTEST.

The Riley Commission Company. in
offering their prizes OF big 4 Flour
for best cakes and breads. do not
limit the @contestantS4-to any special
brand at 0ouf. 5r2 "
az. p. Russell CO. Offers IN seas-
lkne SashaG a. fruit 70 he uttls oiTl
vnaAAn = t,na%- ~nI3a -~-----4 -,
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-12-07
STOLEN.

information wanted in regard to
Two Central Bicycles. black frames,
red head and white wheels, 24-inch
frames. We're rented Dec. 5, 1911,
by two negroes Liberal reward for
Information. Address Harry StaTke.
122 West fourth Ave.
la. -- I'D 9.ht
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-12-07

Pine Bluff, Ark, Dec. 6, 1911.
12-7-1m
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-19
BUSY DAY FOR THIEVES;
FIND LOOT IN TRUNKS
Long List of Robberies, MOST OF
Them Small, Reported to
the Police.

When Henry Gray returned 10 ms nome
az ga Morton place northeast last night
disarranged furniture and clothes toio
that an intruder had been there during
his absence. He found that his trunk
had been opened and $41 taken from II,
Entrance had been gained by removing
a screen from a window.
Avoids Maranian, grocer at 111 n
street northwest, reported to the police
earlv this morning similar robbery HIS
,oss was s2j and bank book.
Joseph Rector. 2oe4 Georgia avenue
northwest. also complained that an in
truder visited his room during his abb
sence. rifled his trunk and carried on
$25 in cash.
George Brooks. employed as driver for
Golden & Co.. told the police that a
package containing forty pounds of but
ter was taken from the wagon In front
NJ AIT X street northwest.
A thief paid back-gate visit to the
nremises of Hamilton Seaton. 81 Quincy
Mace northeast. last night and carried
away about $40 worth of laundry from
the clothesline.
Annie Poindexter. 1907 18th street north
west, complained to the police last night
Of the theft of gold watch and silver
knife from her home
A bicycle worth $40 belonging to Ed
win Wickles of 100 Florida avenue north
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-19
COOKS GIVEN TRAINING:
AT THREE ARMY SCHOOLS
Students From State Miitias and
Other Branches Of Serv-
ice Admitted.

Probably taking tho view that its citi-
zen soldiers do not receive the proper
training at home under the guiding hands
of their mothers. sweethearts. wives or
daughters to enable them to provide good
things to eat for their comrades while in
the field. the state Of Ohio has felt Il its
duty to have some of its men taught how
to cook. During the year. according to
the report OF the army commisaary geu-
eral, that state made application to the
War Department to send enlisted men to
Washington to take course in the train
ing school for bakers and cooks, which
was granted.
Three such schools are maintained, one
at Washington, one at the Preside of
San Francisco and the other at Fort RI
ley. Kans. Since the establishment OF
these schools they have met with much
success. and the food Of the American sol
der OF today Is probably better prepared
than ever before. The Marine Corps on
Gals also seem to appreciate the value OF
such training, and . request Mhde to the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-19
Vapor Treatment
for Catarrh

The HYOMEI vapor treatment is especially
recommended in stubborn cases Of chronic
catarrh Of long standing, but remember that the
inhaler should be used daily usual.
This treatment only takes a few Minutes time
before going to bed. Pour scant teaspoonful
of HYOMEI into a kitchen bowl of boiling
water head and bowl with towel and
breathe for several minutes the vapor that
arises
You will be surprised at the results of this
treatment; II makes the head feel fine and clear
you will sleep better, and that stuffed up feeling
will gradually disappear.
This method is also used to break up the worst
cold in the head over night.
A bottle Of HYOMEI pronounce 1t High me,
costs 50 cents at Henry Evans and James
O'Donnell's and druggists everywhere Com
plete outfit. which includes the little pocket
inhaler, 81. 90.
No stomach dosing; just breathe HYOMEI and
cure catarrh and all diseases of the breathing
organs. Free trial bottle by addressing Booth
Hyomei Co., Buffalo, n. Y.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-19
Today at College Park

DIR. William w. Christmas is expected
to begin this afternoon a series Of test
flights of his airship at College Park be-
fore sending his craft south for the win
ter The army aviators will indulge in
short practice flights, as usual. Lieut..
Kirkland was unable to fly yesterday ow-
ing to cold he contracted last Friday,
when he flew for an altitude record. but
he may take wing today and continue
experiment with the Means aerial signal
ing device. assisted by George bowman,
q semaphoric expert.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-19
HOW NATURE
CURES CONSTIPATION
AND why drugs are being used less
aud less for that purpose.

The custom Of Internal Bathing for keeping
me Intestines pure. clean and tree from poison
Gus mattsr-curing constipation, bitousness and
the more serious diseases which they bring on
has become 90 universally popular. ana % seien-
tfncally correct IN its application a. 10 merit
the most serious consideration.
Drugs tor this purpose have proven that their
doses must be constantly increased TO be eject
I've, that they force Nature instead Of assisting
her, and. once taken. must be continued
On the contrary. the scientifically constructed
Internal Bath gently assists Nature, but 10 In
nnitely more thorough In its cleanliness than
any drug. no matter what Its nature.
The J. B. L. Cascade which 10 now being used
and praised BY thousands and prescribed by
many eminent physicians. is nov being shown
and explained BY Ameek's Drug Store. 18th snd
r streets NV.
Its action 10 90 simple and natural ~ to i'm
,nediately appeal TO all common sense That 10
the ressoa Soe IT. sEsat and dessrveop pwsxifA
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-19
SEEK MOTHER OF BABY.
Police Search for Woman Who Left
Child in HALLWAY.

The mother of the month-old baby.
clad in white clothing Of good material.
which was abandoned yesterday afternoon
in the hallway on the third floor of house
coz 18th street southwest. is today sought
by the police. The little one Is being
Foundlings at 1715 18th street north
west
The infant had been at the hospital
earlier in the day. brought by young
woman dressed in black. who said she
was the widow of a soldier and was un-
able to care for the child.
Under the rules Of the institution it was
impossible to admit the child She was
told that she should have the infant COM
mitted to the custody of the board of
children'S guardians.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-19
Addresses on Aeronautics.
Saturday at 9 PM:

Aeronautics will be the subject Of adj
dresses by Maj. G.. o. Squier. assistant
chief signal officers of the army. and
Emile Berliner. at a smoker which will
be given at the Commercial Club tomor-
row evening at o'clock. Maj. Squier
will speak on Wireless Telephony. Teleg-
raphy and Aviation and Mr.. Berliner
will have as his subject "A New Airship
Engine. and Parachute
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-19

be married to Hedley McNeer Bowen.
son of wealthy coal operator of Bram-
we'll, W. Va. Rev. Wallace Radcliffe
united the couple at his residence
"Oh. yes, my people knew about my
approaching marriage said the bride,
but they don't expect it so soon. / have
been visiting in another town and came
from there to Washington. There are no
objections to our marriage. but we plan
ned surprise"