Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-08-31

LUCK I1iSSlHS SlTuCk IL lSnC WIlen
he married a telephone girl. All she
can ever think of to say to him ie
Hello"
Some fellers lives TO a ripe old age.
| Grandpa Bibbins says he kin remen-
Der when they had plush parlor fur
niturc.
Our village school board believes IN
higher education. so they are building
the new school house on top of Look
out hill.
If YOU want a quare deal. go and
! see a stranger. If you don't care what
happens to you, do business with a
relative.
They say there is nothing wasted in
this world. but by gravy. l don't see
why they put a "p' on tho front end
of ptomaine.
If have any one perticler pet aver
sion In this world 1t is to have to set
and listen to an old maid talk baby
tall to q dog.
Il hate to see a perfect lady chaw
tobacker but. by crackey. l would
rather see her do that than to see her
kiss "A pug dog.
When a Teller thinks he hasn't got
a thing in the world to be thankful
fer, 1t is q good plan to lake a squint
at some feller who has got the sciat-
tick rheumatic and st. Wits dance ST.
multaneous at the same time.
Hank Purdy'. wife smashed FIVE OF
his teeth yesterday. but there wasn't
any fight. She only knocked them off'n
the bureau, that's all. Hank says he
doesn't care q durn. He didn't own
EN-. but was just renting 'em.
Outside Of havin' your name spelled
wrong in the newspaper when you
asylum. the most embarrasin' thing I
know Of is to nave the beer wagon
stop in front of your house when the
Ladies' Aid is meeting there.
Eve was the first woman VINO didn't
have anything to wear, but she wasn't
the last one. I never yet see a woman
who did nave anything to wear, but
party without getting arrested or con-
tracing pneumonia.
1t all depends on the point of view.
A Teller kin fall out'n a 20 story winder
In a s~kyscraper and get killed and the
papers will give him three lines, but
II he falls out'n an airship 10 feet from
h ground and sprafns his ankle. he
gifts three columns with pictur.
When a Teller locks around a bit and
sees some Of the microbes tina are
fioatin' around the streets with pants
on and smokin' ~cigarets. 1t makes him
feel like gOin' and coughin' up 81 for
one of Mr.. Darwin's justly celebrated
books n lookin' into tho subjek a
little deeper.
A Teller was through our town tho
other day sellin' a brand new kind Of
frey bought a bottle and accidentally
spilled part Of it on the haircloth sofy
in the parlor. Since then he has had
to go over the sofy regular with the
la wn mover.
Eddication is a great thing. T. Will
fred Bibbins, who was the valedictor-
ian OF the class and electrified the
magnificent Grafton on Beyond the
Alps Lies Italy" several years ago. is
making 81 q week in a livery stable,
while his brother who left school when
plumbers trade. is making 81 q day
and owns an automobile.
The citizens of our village were much
surprised one day last week to see No.
l1 pull In at the depot apparently on
time. Rem Binks. the station agent
hollored at Rod Skibbs. the engineer
on time for once, amt yep Rod stuck
MS head out'n the window and said:
On time. hi. We're "a hours late
This is yesterdays train"
FINE HOT WEATHER MENU.
Breakfast.
Hot Mince Pie
FORK Sausage Buckwheat Cakes
Coffee
Luncheon.
Welsh Rarebit
Sauer Kraut and Speck
Hard Boiled Eggs
Pork and Beans Chop Suey
Hot Chocolate
Dinner.
Vegetable Soup
SAlYnnn Tllrhof C~~~oS No.. .-S
Cabbage
Macaroni and Cheese
Garlic Salad Hot Gingerbread
Suet Pudding
Rouqefort Cheese Douehnuts
Coffee
MY IDEAL.
There amt so fur as I kin learn,
NO other face 30 sweet as hern'n.
Her neck ts like the pretty swan.
Her lips IL like the cherries. and
Her Dig gray eyes IL simply grand.
TO feast your hungry orbs upon.
Shes got q peck Of golden hair and
She weighs one hundred eighty five.
with 9 figger h Is there.
! tell you what, she just suits me,
II you'd see her you would agree
She's the sweetest gal alive.
The ample damsel Of my choice has
got q fine c%ontralto voice.
The first time that I heered her sing
Il seemed just like my heart stood still.
She sounded like a whip-poor-will
Or else an ostrich on the wing.
! tell you what, h won my heart and
got my goat right on the start
FOR vocal music ] admire.