davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10

this analysis: two thirds Of the cases
(99 of 800 occurred during August and
September, or during the most heated
season. dry summer and the locality
OF valley, seem to bear some rela-
tionship to the seasonal occurrence, in
| this as we'll as other outbreaks Of the
/! disease. This has been noted in YER
mont, Massachusetts,, Pennsylvania,
Nebraska, and in Europe
The two rivers which meet in Eau
Claire had been extremely low that
summer, and the offensiveness of many
sewers discharging their contents on
the banks became SO great that many
letters Of complaint appeared in the
public press.
The mean temperature for July was
70.-S0F.. 1.10o in excess OF normal. The
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10
The Chi1dre11's Plague
By JAcoLYN MANNING, NJ. D.


in
the
Of B. is
Hamptons
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10
All, Her Own

All Her Own.
did the audience weep while I was
singing?" asked the temperamental
soprano. NO." replied the music di.
rector. you were making that noise
all by yourself"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10
Smarter Than Meet.

The Old Guy-"Huh! Driving ~
automobile. Ell? Young man. when
started In life I had to walk" The
Young Chap-"You were smarter than
most, sir When first started In life
I couldn't walk"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10

but what would Des Moines say if
the people OF the capital city gave heed
20 the preachmert Of back to the SOIL
enthusiasts, and If the next census
gave Des Moines $4,000 instead Of the
anticipated $50 ooo?" asks the Burling-
ton Hawkeye. ooh, what a howl would
be there, my countrymen"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10
IOWA OPINIONS AND NOTES.

IF Lorimer is to be ousted it will
have to be mainly on suspicion, and on
the general principle that the tainting
Of single vote is sufficient to invali-
date an election" asserts the Sioux City
Journal. If such a precedent is estab-
lished the way will be opened for an
interminable number of 81 material con-
tests in the future. Practically. at least
nine out of ten senators would prefer to
stick to old precedents. But the senti-
mental aspect of the case may loom
largest just now"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10

"A large part OF the money loaned in
almost every community comes from
people who are actually poor or at best
in very moderate circumstances. Thes"
people put their money in banks or
loan it out to reliable men in small
quantities. and under the present law
every dollar of it is subject to tax
of from one quarter to nearly half its
income. Such a law is practically con-
iscation Of property. 1t falls on those
who can i'll afford to stand it, says the
Manson Journal.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10
WET" AND DRY"
IRurlington Hawkeve.l

II advertising Iowa hereafter. OF
tumwa wants to be labeled wet"
Some Of the Ottumwans shrink from
that kind of notoriety.
On the other hand. the beautiful
little city of Washington Iowa, de-
sires to he placarded on the Iowa pub
Lefty bulletin as a dry" community
And is it dead? BY no manner of
means. 1t had big building boom
last year. A special to the Hawk
eye says:
Nearly every section of the city has
witnessed a building boom. New resi-
dences have been built and are being
built by parties who desire to make
Washington their home in the future
The city Is becoming essentially home
city Many people are attracted to it
on account Of its good moral tone and
after reaching the age, where they de-
sire to retire from the activities Of life,
come to Washington and settle down."
In what way would saloons contrib
ute to the prosperity of Washington
and Its attractiveness to desirable
class of newcomers?
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10
TAX PRACTICABLE.
IDubuaue Times Journall

1t is d mistake to assume that y
promotion tax Of one mill on the as
sessed property within the city of Du
buque is impracticable,
1t is true that there is no legal au-
thority for it, but more is necessary
1t need not and should not be includ-
ed in the general tax levy. If can
vass were conducted by campaigners
endorsed and paid by the Dubuque
Industrial Corporation, those who pay
the bulk of the taxes would sign
an agreement to pay a tax Of one mill
on the dollar Of city valuation. or one
dollar per $1,000. for the benefit of the
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10
The Shenandoah sun saws "Pep-e-

The Shenandoah Sun saws: "Pepre-
sentative Good, Of the Cedar Rapids
district has made hard fight for a
tariff commission, and it is probable
that a bill will be presented to the
house in the rear future The commit
tee was controlled hv stanapa tte-s.
while Good is a progressive. and while
the comm ittee di1 not have the nerve
70 turn down the ,neasur PROPOSED by
Good. it will not LEI il hear his name.
They are rot going TO let any progress
s:ve have credit for any good measures
if they can help IL"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10

"Tl1e-e will hc no caucus ot renubli-
cans Of the legislature on the senator
ship says the Waterloo Tinles-Tri-
hune (dem) The standpatters do
not want a caucus because they fear,
the progressives would be able to domi-
nate it,"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-01-10

The Sioux City Tribune. remarking
that Senator Young says it is mpos-
sible to defeat him # primary IS held.
he must be exceedingly sorry he
fought the primary so long"
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
CHIN MIE'S HISTORY

littil thing like that. He went rite
avn watching the steem and wunder-
ing, wich Is how inventors invent,
watching things and numbering. In
those days people dident have nuting
but roebotes to crawss the Atlanttck in,
so thare wasent hardly enVbody
cravssed the Atlantick at awl, on ak
kount of If a big wave soaked q roe
boat, good mite.
An Ideer
I no wat Ill do, sed Robbit Fultin.
Ill invent a steembote to run by steem
and darn If I'll let my grandmother ride
in it. he sed, on akkount Of beeing so
bull heded about her old tee kettil
How can fnventir invent. Robbit Full
tin sed, If his grandmother wont evtu
let him watch the tee kettiI.
So he got all the steem togethir that
he Good get and inventid the steem
bote.
Cant make 1t rum Cant make It
run! awl the people sed. wich shows
the werld Is full of jelisy, and its
wundir inventirs amt soar all the
time
That shows how mutch you no, sed
Robbit Fultin. steembotes don't run,
they just go.
And he made his go and now re
can crawss the Atlantick eny old time.
The Washington times., 1911-06-18

II Robbit Fultin hadent of inventid
the steembote. how Good people
crawss the Atlantick oshun vile they
are asleap the way they do. brakeing
reckords and aw1., They coodent-
Wen Robbit Fultin was littel boy
he hardly ever did nuthing but set
in the kitchin and watch the steem
koming out OF the tee KEITH. Steem
ust to KUN out of tee kettils then
the same as It does now, ony nobody
notised 1t exsept Robbit Fultin.
If that steem can KUN out of a
tee KEITH, sed Robbit Fultin to him
self. its mitey funny 1t cant KUN out
OF a smoak stack.
Granna Butts In
If you don't qwit rubbiring at the
tee kettil and attend to yure lessins,
his gran 'mothir, who used to do the
hooking at Robbit Fultins house, sed
to him, how do you evir expect to be
CRATE inventor.
l was numbering wat I can do with
that steem, sed Robbit Fultin.
You do enything with this steam,
sed his grandmothir, and I'll books
yure eers for you. This steem is the
tee steem, she sed, and If katch you
trying to-tio enything with it I'll tell
yure mothir, she sed.
But Robbit Fultin dident mind a
The Washington times., 1911-06-18

"I put one over on Calculo last
night" said the stage doorkeeper as
he stopped figuring with a pencil. AT
least / think I did You know he's
doin' that mathematical stunt that
seems so easy and yet must be aw-
fully hard DID you see him stand
there on the stage and add up columns
OF figures and never make mistake?
Probably Born in Him
Gee, It was great last night when
one of the professors of mathematics
came down from the university and
tried to stick him. Here's the example
he gave him: Add four hundred and
twenty-seven thousandths of seven
teen and three-quarters; subtract the
cube root of three thirty-seconds of
one-half Of minus three and add the
greatest common divisor of seventeen
and a half. Divide this by seven
twelfths of three and a half of sixty
seven and square the whole
"Calculo said The answer is minus
.S7584329,' without batting an eye.
caught the professor just as he was
about to fall IN the wings. He said
it was the most marvellous perform
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
A Feminine Dynamo

And you could show her how. That
booky Cross Father needs a femi-
nine dynamo to wake him up. I
reckon he would see things differ
emily If you married him. And you
are so fond of advocating matrimony
that you ought to get busy. 1t
sounds kind of sour-grapey to some
of us who are in the tn: of our
first married years. Some times 1
think you do not know what you are
talking about. Then, just as 1 get
that opinion well formed, you have a
lucid interval and hit so many nails
so aptly on the head that I'cannot
convince myself that you have never
been married. But this match with
the Cross Father seems a great one
for you. You would get a lot of
good material first hand from the
girls, and the Cross Father might
give you some that would show men
are not the only desirable things in
the world. Very truly.
A MATRoN OF TWENTY-FIVE.
so young and so untenderr 1 am
prompted to quote as l read this let
The Washington times., 1911-06-18

tion and not a knocker at all, but on
this particular morning some FOUNDER
"Tarrididdles!" exclaimed the duch-
ess de Grass. What ails the mane
We ordered no ice today. I forbid you
TO pay the slightest attention to yon
knocking"
"Oui, madame" acquiesced Dora, the
Swedish maid.
But still the insistent knocking al
most ratified the gate from its hinges,
and still the household of the duchess
de Grass paid no attention, because
they had ordered no ice.
II wanted to tell them their house
was on fire." explained the iceman to
the huckster as he drove off, but
guess they don't want to know"
So the entire household was burned.
and the moral is, Don't jump at con-
clusions."
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
Loretta's Looking Glass

THE letter copied here Is too good
for me to keep to myself
My dear Loretta: 1 have been
reading all you write. And you have
been so busy making suggestions to
us girls that l am going to retaliate.
Why don't you marry the Cross
Father? I think you would make
perfectly fine stepmother for a fam
lily of girls. You seem to enjoy
whacking them for their faults. You
would have a good chance in that
family. And you could help along
the love affair between the oldest
daughter and the young man of
whom she wrote you. 1 guess you
know all the tricks of the marrying
trade
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
The Little Household Loans
THE STAGE DOORKEEPER

ance he had ever witnessed. I asked
him If the answer was correct, and
he said he thought II must be, Cal
culo answered so quickly, but on
second thought he would work it out
when he got home just to satisfy
himself. But it sure did satisfy the
audience.
This mathematical mind must be
great thing to have. Just think
how valuable such a guy would be
around a notion store when they
started to take invoices. And I just
guess II his disease was prevalent,
all these addin' machine companies
would have to go out of business"
Where Do You Get Off?
But" asked the stage-struck
youth, where do you get off? Thought
you said that you put one over on
him last night"
Well" said the S. D. K, II think
I did. You know I've been paying
for a lot of c. o. D. packages he's
had sent to the theater. He came in
to pay me last night, and l read the
different amounts off to him, and
then he paid me a dollar and forty
cents too much"
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
The Duchess and He;
! An Historical Tale

~The time was morning, the hour was
eight,
When there came a-knocking at the
gate"
These three or four lines from Ten
nyson serve as an apt introduction to
the condition of affairs in the duchess
de Grass's household on the morning
OF July "a, Is.
Indeed, there was a knocking at the
mansion gate, the rear gate, known in
houses of lesser pretentions as the back
gate. The knocker was the iceman,
usually a gentleman of jovial, disposi-
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
SIZE HOLDS IT UP TO THE
Matchmaking Girl

Since we are recommending things to
each other I will advise you to think
Of the above statement. You and
your kind talk with a freedom that
is undignified and certainly lacking
in delicacy about matters that are
sacredly personal.
You are perfectly right. 1 DO
know all the tricks OF the marrying
trade. I. have watched you girls who
win the men practice them till they
are an open book to me. And 1t dis
gusts and humiliates me that most
of you approach the sweetest, most
sacred and meaningful experience of
life by means of a tortuous route of
deception and fraud.
First Married Years
You speak sarcastically of being in
the thick of first married years"
Do you know why they are thick and
you struggle and drag along? It's
because you are so ignorant. You do
not know anything of what would
make them easy. You, cannot do the
necessary things easily because you
never learned. You make hard work
Of housekeeping because you never
took the time and the trouble to
learn 1t properly.
Wouldn't yor be in a nice fix If
your husband knew as little about
his business as you do of yours? You
would be taking a free ride 10 the
poorhouse. Maybe you are right
men are not the only desirable trfhgs
in the world. But they are. just as
desirable as the beings they marry
the women! And listen to, this-I
would not marry the Cross Father
or any other man If did not believe
I had some knowledge of shoe-fitting.
] should know how to put the shoe
on the foot that was to blame for mt
least half of the matrimonial messes
that are politely called. marriages.
The Washington times., 1911-06-18

ter. One would really think from the
fate she urges upon me that 1 had
something to do with her marriage
Dear Matron of Twenty-Five, am
not looking for a ready-made family.
And 1 really do not need to marry to
know everything necessary about the
exp rience. Ny young married friends
discuss their husbands, their homes,
everything with an unholy frankness
that gives me data and indigestion.
The Washington times., 1911-06-18

laughs. Teehee! Just like that, or
Haha! If the woman happens to be q
man. :
why pickled?" they'd like to know
every time.
Because" we tell them cheerfuIly,
because picked stands for soussdI
don't It? And soused stands for III
f1icated, don't itf And pifflicated Stands
for full. And these boxes OF berries are
full. No, short measure In oirsj
madam
Say. there's simply nothing to ~
the boss Is. there!
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
Our Grocery Clerk
Says Some Boss!
Freshly picked berries!

Freshly picked berriesI
How does 1t listen, huh? How does
it look? Ridiculous, absurd, foolish,
nonsensical, dippy, eh? Well. let me
tell you this sign has sold more ripe
strawberries in one day than I've been
able to dispose of in a week.
It's an idea of the boss to get rid
Of two crates of berries that loved the
shop so much they wouldn't make
friends with the customers at all. And
believe the dispenser of plain and fancy
eats, 1t was some idea.
The customer looks at the sign and
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
Some JeSts to
Make You CHEEKY
IN THE SKYSCRAPER

And how did you happen to meet
the brother you haven't seen for
years?"
BY accident. He and I have had Of
fees on the same floor for ten years
without meeting each other. He goes
home at 5 o'clock; go at sos. He hap
pened to be delayed five minutes look
ing for a missing umbrella and we met
in the elevator"
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY

This sort of ambiguousness somehow
reminds US of a small sporting printer,
who once said: Shakespeare? D'you
know until last night I'd never read any
of that. feller's stuff. But they talked
me into it, and, after I got home and
had me, supper. I waded through The
Rape Of Lucrece.'
We'll, and what did you think Of
it?"
"0h, padded to death! I could have
got it all in fourteen lines. THE Pink
I'm
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
Holiday Wanted

Mamma-So you want to give your
dear teacher a present
Tommy-Yes, ma. I'd like to give
her some of that candy like I had
the other day.
Mamma-Why. Tommy, that was
what made you so i'll.
Tommy-Yes. ma. I know II was.
The Washington times., 1911-06-18

Don't
and dents expressions and alp"
They cerny do Bill do think they'll
it all right Mame?"
Those Speeches Impressed Mamie
speeches, Belief These sefmade business
college education teaches the
blow could heard those
young getin speeches their
you'd "a the world they in
years N.Y. their faces while they d
You could tell they knew xacy what they akn
about Belle, whether anybody else did
knowledge brain istenn them all, but
! by the
all tariff preconceved
basis umatum completely disguised and tell
speeches that make you think You
wouldn't dfrent things thought while
maxim that speech.
wonderful the English language, and
if he his after the chilly winds the cold world
gown he'll be successful spite
speech haven't real ideas, there's
around where
world in the face the
and get away with almost anything
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
Would Know, ANYWAY

ELMER, my boy" said the fond
mother, don't you think you have
eaten enough of that chicken salad?'
well, mamma" replied Elmer. as
he helped himself to another dishful,
az I get sick you'll know what's the
matter with me, anyway"
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
Absent Minded

You forgot to get that silk for
me" she asks. why. 1 tied that strip
Of cloth around your finger this very
morning to remind you of it,
The husband stares blankly at the
strip of cloth and then, says:
We'll, I'll be jiggered! And here
I've been trying all day to remember
how I happened to hurt my finger"
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
Keep These In
Your Ice Box
THE DEVIL BOTH WAYS

Minister-Now, Tommy, suppose you
did something naughty, and were
asked If you did it. what would you
say?
Tommy-I dunno.
Minister-You don't know? Why,
why! What would happen if you told
a lie?
Tommy-The devild git me.
Minister-That's right And what If
you told the truth?
Tommy-Td git tn devil.
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
Oh! Splash

Fresh Student-Do you know, pro-
fessor, ! consider a comet The most
despicable of all the astral bodies.
Professor-How do you arrive at
that conclusion?
Fresh Student-They are such tail
bearers, you know.
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
Fashionable Woes

why do you weep?" inquired the
sympathetic woman. as your hat
out of styleY'
Worse than that?" replied Mrs.
Chuggins. MY husband has decided
that we will have to go through the
summer with 1910 automobile
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
She nouhfed

Sunday School Teacher-Now, jean
nette, can you tell me what faith is :?
Small Jeannette-Yes, ma'am; it's
believing what you know isn't so.
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
PerhapS

gentleman had Just rescued a
little fellow who had fallen into the
river.
I'm awfully glad you got me out"
said the youngster. Mother would
have given me lickin' If had got
drowned"
The Washington times., 1911-06-18

HERE do you, think 1 made Bill take me las night
Belle? But don't guess; you might hit it by mis-
take, and want to surprise you. We took in
O those lbrain festivals known commencement
exercises. 1t great sight and l wouldn't "a
missed it. The on'y thing that worried is
whether we'll have room for all the future presi-
dents.
The other people in the audience weren't
ried about that, though. They all mamas
and papas and sisters, and you could tell by their
faces they knew it'd come out all right, if
congress has to pr'vide for half dozen new
White Houses to make the demand equal the supply.
The Washington times., 1911-06-18

It holds moral for all Of us well worth telling
girl question: and happy and with plenty dainty
wy Of her had the mania of girls to lend her own
things her dearest friends" and borrow theirs.
about them, and when after
demanded the of the diamond ringshe
did not followed then family difficulties and
the girls and before the
the roontang the human delight morse
girl confess that after the
ring she had LOANED it"
trip that she had telegraphed him and hoped
have it back, but unable then to produce it
The Little Household Loans
Wasn't it lust like girl? realize that the
her property but anoher? girls from each
Do each other
money they borrow when together? Do
remember the little household loans OF tea
butter the back fence?
lack scupulous honesty little things
that gives have real
honor personal equity toward those they like
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
ORROW, if you're seeking sorrow;

Lend, if you would lose friend;
For only giving brings blessing
That will last you to the end.
There's quaint old proverb that some
thing like that, and its, memory would have saved
certain girl now bowed beneath a weight of
shame, her pride, her friends and her self-respect
For the propensity to borrow and to lend in
careless fashion has brought her into the court
rooms of a great city the charge of having
disposed of a ring set with diamonds which be-
longed to another
The Washington times., 1911-06-18
OUR DEVIL WONDERS

How long 1t took other devils to
realize that the word rush on copy
meant only a pleasantly on the part
of the desk man who enjoyed seeing
small boys hustle
The Washington times., 1911-06-18

so young and so untenderw I am
prompted to quote as read this let
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1911-06-01

passed through Minot Tuesday en-
route to Montana to look up locations
for farming and ranching.
Isaac Berg, aompanied by Gilbert
Gilbertsen and E. c. Jones left Velva
Saturday for Spokane, Wash, where
they will reside
Frank Stafford of Velva was taken
suddenly i'll, knocking the plans Of tho
Velva home talent company's repro
ducing it's very interesting play, Val
ley Farm, at Velva Friday night for
the benefit of the Commercial club.
1t may be possible that the play will
he given later.
Veva has an Odd Fellows lodge Of
nearly ninety members Last Satur-
day night, thirteen members of that
order from Benedic, visited the Velva
lodge to witness some work, after
which a fine lunch was given by Ole
Erickson, a member o. the Velva
lodge