The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-09-14

son. Not one of the missiles hit. ana
Mr.. Dawson had the good sense to see
what a failure he was with the gun
and what drawback to the Gulch, and
he mounted his cayuse and rode for
parts unknown.
At . O'Clock on Wednesday after
noon last, while We sat alone in our
sanctum, after having just finished a
rousing editorial on the Mexican stu
alton, and while we were wondering
why all men could not live at peace
In this world. Mr.. Buffalo Jim, from
the headwaters Of Grizzly Bear river,
with thirteen notches cut into the
butts of his two guns. opened our
door with whoop and announced
Hands up, or I'll blow the top Of
your head Off"
IL has been three years since we
heard that old familiar cry, but up
went our hands.
Then with two guns looking directly
at us Buffalo advanced to within ten
feet and said:
"You are liarr
We did not gainsay him.
"You are a villain"
Nothing from us.
"a month ago you put 1t in your pa
per that l orter be lynched.
We remembered the item referred to.
"And I'VE rode ninety miles to kill
your
We didn't ask him to be more exact
about the distance. What's a mile or
two more or less In such case?
"And I'm going to do it!'
He looked like man who'd keep his
word.
"You have just two minutes to live"
We never dispute the word Of man
behind two guns.
"You can get down and prayg
Very kind of Mr.. Jim, but We couldn't
see where the thing was going to help
our case over per cent.
Down on your knees. villain"
We moved We moved on Mr.. Jim.
He fred two shots and missed. By
that time we had hold Of our gun, and
the man from the headwaters went
down. He fred two more shots as he
went down. but the lead went wild.
1t did not take the coroner's jury f1f-
teen minutes to acquit us, as Buffalo
had made his brags In several saloons
as to what he intended to do
Funeral next day at our expense and
twenty-five dollar tombstone ordered.
Buried in our private editorial grave
yard, and within a month the Jack
roses will be stealing over his grave.
Not a word of fault to find with Buff
falo Jim. He was a man who simply
made grave mistake in including edi-
tors on his list. and he has gone to his
reward-or somewhere else. His bron-
cho and his guns await his weeping
relatives.
Bets of 2 to 1 are being made among
the sports of this town that the senate
will retain Iorimer In his seat. Ii
would be safe to say that they would
take in Jesse James II he were still
alive. Out In this country. however,
we don't get excited about such trifies.
There isn't senator in the bunch that
can shoot for shucks or has the dig
nifty to stand of q barkeeper for O
drink.
Over 100 In the shade all last week,
and yet Giveadam Gulch consumed
forty barrels Of whisky to keep her.
self warm.
We have our little way of announc-
ing facts and events. and. according
to that way, we hereby announce that
Alderman Thompson is plumb w
and down liar!
The circulation of the Kicker has
not reached the billion mark yet, but
we are expecting every moment when
it will and have the fireworks to shoot
off In honor Of the occasion.
Last week we sent our circulars tc
forty newspapers In Arizona, asking
the editors II they would support ouI
aspirations to become governor. With
a unanimity positively surprising eact
and every editor returned answer. NO
I'll be - IL | willw That seems to
settle US, but we are great hand tc
bob up In unexpected places.
We want no credit but what belongs
to us. There is an item going the
rounds of the eastern papers that the
Kicker employs S74 stenographers on
its editorial staff. The correct mum
Der is 1856, but we have places for 14s
more. We do not like exaggeration ir
any form.
The bears and wolves in the noun
tains around have got thawed out fol-
the summer, and It has become rather
dangerous for a feller and bis girl Il
saunter more than ten miles away Of
an evening.
We were told the other day that
Lawyer Burt had declared he woulf
shoot US on sight for denouncing hin
III Nursery Stock
III Hood River Grown
I'LL First Glass