The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1911-04-07
P. I. BARAUM AS
A STORY TELLER

Phineas T. Barnum, the great show
man. was no less celebrated for his
practical jokes in private life than for
the hoaxes and sells that he in
fiicted upon the pubic. Among his
friends he passed as the prince of
story tellers, and in his old age he
published a few yarns from an mex
haustible stock Here is one of them:
Half Shaved.
From Danbury and Bethel the hat
tiers and combmakers. on their spring
and fall visits to New York, used to
go Norwalk and take passage on a
sloop, the length of the voyage de-
pended upon wind and weather. The
run might be made in eight hours,
and again in not less than eight days.
But 1t made little difference with the
passengers. who were 'in for a good
time" and. as all were fond of fun,
before starting they usually entered
into q compact that any man who
got angry at a practical joke should
forfeit the sum of $50.
On one of these occasions a party
of fourteen started from Bethel for
New York on a Monday morning.
Among others We're my grandfather
Taylor, Capt Noah Ferry, Esquire
Ior. as everybody called him; Eleazer
Taylor and Charles Dart. The sloop
sailed from Norwalk on Monday ev-
ening. with some additional passen-
gers. including a clergyman, and with
fair prospect of reaching New York
next morning. He was a slim spare
man. over six feet high, light COM
plexion, sandy hair, and a huge pair
of reddish-brown whiskers.
Expectation of a speedy run to the
city was cut short by a calm. Fri
day came and the calm continued.
array of ''stubby'' beardsi My grand
father had the only razor on board,
but he would not use 1t, and refused
10 lend it I'VE shall all be shaved
I'm New York" was his comforting
remark
On Saturday morning the sloop was
becalmed off Port Chester, and the
passengers began to bewail.
And ] have an appointment to
preach in the city this evening and
tomorrow" mourned the clergyman,
whose face now was covered with a
Swallowed by his gigantic whiskers.
After breakfast. on Sunday morn
ing. O breeze at last filled the sails.
and the sloop glided through the wa
ter If this held. they ought to
reach the city at 2 o'clock in the ar.
ternoon. the captain consolingly said.
But the barber shops close at 12"'
a dozen exclaimed.
And l shall barely be in time for
my afternoon sermon" the clergyman
SdlG- On. MT. 1dylOT. 90 De SO klIlO
as TO loan me your shaving appara-
tus-''
The old gentleman deliberately
went to his trunk, unlocked it, and
took out his razor, lather box, brush
and strop, and thus addressed the
eager, expectant thro1g:
Now, gentlemen, as we shall be
too late for the BARRIERS. / am willing
you shall all use my razor. But it
is evident that we all cannot shave
before reaching the city, and it
would be unfair for half of us to go
ashore clean shaved, leaving the rest
on board to wait for their return.
therefore propose what seems per
fectly just, that each man in turn
shall shave one-half of his face, pass
the razor to the next. till all are half
shaved. and then in rotation shave
the other half"
This seemed reasonable to all but
the clergyman, who objected to any
thing so ridiculous; whereupon it
was proposed that the clergyman
must sacrifice his enormous whiskers.
one at time, or not use the razor
at all. This was agreed to, and my
grandfather continued:
las / own the razor / will use it
first, and next TO me, our reverend
friend: that is, if he shaves off one
OF his whiskers." and to this the cler-
syman. who was in a hurry, reluct-
antly consented. Within ten minutes
one-haIf Of my grandfather's face was
as smooth as the palm of his hand,
while the other half presented the ap-
pearance of a thick brush fence, eiic-
!ting a roar of laughter in which the
clergyman joined. But this was as
nothing to the general yell. when, in
turn. the clergyman showed one
cheek as clean as child's, while
from the other stoow out four inches
of a huge red whiskerl All the rest
followed in turn. and in an hour and
a quarter every passenger was half
shaved. II was then proposed to go
on deck and get a drink before re-
Stunning operations, and here the par
ty were again convulsed, each one
OF course at the ludicrous appearance
OF all the rest
Now" said my grandfather, 81
will go down and shave off the other
side. Then / will come up and give
the clergyman his chance"
'-You must hurry up if you all mean
&c fnish,'' said the captain. for we
shall reach Peck slip in half an hour.
In ten minutes Mr.. Taylor reap
peared on deck, smoothly shaved and
razor in hand Now" said the i'm
narient clergyman, Its my turn"
Certainly" said the old gentle
man. --but wait a minute till I strop
the razor"
Putting his foot on the side rail