The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-03-02
FOR CHRISTMAS SHOPPERS.
BY Observing These Rules the Season
Win Be Merry.

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Win Be Merry.
I'm order that the evils of Christmas
shopping may be reduced to
minimum we reproduce herewith
the revised rules of the game adopted
by the international peace commission
upon the recommendation of its com
mittee on sports at the last meeting:
First.-The flying wedge in any shop,
small or large, containing at the time
Of play more than sixteen women TO
the square foot is contrary to the prin-
ciples of peace and good will supposed
TO prevail at this season of the year
and is hereby forbidden.
Secondhand runs, while allowable in
the pursuit Of embroidered doilies, rag
dolls, sofa cushions, hot water bags
and other resilient objects, are forbid
den at the china, glass, bric-a-bIac.
canary bird and lap dog counters, and
In no case will shoppers during play be
allowed to run in behind the said coun-
ters, all persons doing so being re-
garded as playing onside and liable
to the usual penalties therefor
Third.-In any case where seven or
more shoppers shall get their hands
upon the same bargain at one and the
same time and in the absence Of the
saleslady the object If torn shall be
awarded to all seven at its full value
to each, but otherwise the question of
its ownership shall be left to the floor
walker, whose decision shall be re-
garded as final, and he is hereby au-
thorized to referee all such disputed
points.
Fourth.-Any shopper found wear
ing brass knuCkles under or over her
kid gloves or wearing an unmuffled
hatpin more than ten inches long or
carrying an umbrella or parasOl hori-
zontally during play will be immedi-
ately disqualified, and all scores pre-
viously placed to her credit as evil
denced by the packages or bundles in
her possession will be forfeited
Fifth.-Every object to be regarded
as finally acquired and eligible to
score must be beyond all question in
the hands of the shopper so claiming
1t or at least beyond the reach Of any
other claimant, and it is hereby for
hidden to use tongs, fishlines with
hooks on the end or lassoes for OBJ
tanning possession Of articles desired.
ri
counter or through the aisles must be
fairly gained by use of the hands,
shoulders, elbows or knees and In no
case by kicks on the shins or else
where. Butting, backward play, bit
ing and the use Of nails for scratch
ing are strictly forbidden, and all
players found attempting to force their
way forward by use of umbrellas,
canes, ice picks, crowbars or any 9th
er weapon of olfense will be ordered
from the field
Seventh.-Where two or more shop
perS are playing in concert 1t Is per
missible to pass the desired object,
once it is secured, over the heads of
the opposing players but if this object
In transit Is caught by an opposing
player 1t shall be held by her as a
fair gain and may not be scrimmaged
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Eighth.-Foul tackles and hurting
will not be permitted under any cir
cumstances.
Nlnth.-Any lady discovered remov-
ing, either fOrcibIy or subtly with in
tent to dsarrange, the back hair, front
hair, chgnon, false curls or rat from
the head of another lady shall be dis
qualified, If the same is done by acci-
dent the lady responsible therefor shall
promptly apologize, assist her victim
to rearrange her disturbed coiffure and
lose five yards.
Tenth--In team play signals must be
entirely by numbers and in no case
by the use of invidious remarks con-
corning the bad taste of the dress of
an opposing player or reference to the
fact that your baby has the measles.
Any advances gained by such unfair
means win be forfeited and a penalty
imposed upon those using them by the
forfeit of thirty yards.
Eleyenth.-It is contrary to the rules
to attempt to engage the attention OF
the saIcslady by poking her in the back
or elsewhere with the end of your UNI
brella, or by swapping a bean shooter
at her, or by throwing your vanity bag
over the heads of other players, there
by dlStacting her attention from them.
A violation of this rule will be penal
i2ed by the loss Of three aisles.
Backward runs or any at
tempt TO get speedily away from the
counter and through the front door
will be regarded by the field detectives
as an attempt to shopllft, and no play,
er will be allowed to leave the game
whose score has not been attested by
the tloorWalker the superintendent OF
the wrapping department and the au,
ditor