davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
''THE LINE WENT"

sell you must make as much noise as If you had a thousand. That's the way to get on.'
 Well. the eventful night came. got my cue. entered and, rushing down to the footlights, yelled at the top of my voice. Hold backr You could have heard me many blocks in the open. l can assure you the line went. The audience roared with laughter No other line in the play made such hit that night as did my line-the very first ever spoke on the stage."-kan- sas City Star.
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
A Water Trick,

Fold your napkin into the form of rravat and request some one of The company to fill up your glass with wa
 Ter and place il on your napkin; cover your glass with hollow plate: cover again the plate with the two ends of the napkin in such a fashion that the glass will be tightly pressed against the plate. and turn the whole upside down Ii is now easy 10 drink the liquid which comes down gently into
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
A Cutlery Salute.

Discipline aboard men-of-war belong ing to tropical countries Is not as strict as that obtaining on the yes sels of colder countries. Indeed. In some instances it is very lax.
 The Defense. il Haitian naval vessel was lying in the harbor of Port au Prince. One day a mess cook Tor some reason cleaned about peck of knives and forks on the gun deck, and, being suddenly called away and no' wishing to spend time to go to the gal ley. he seized the mess pot full or knives and forks and stuck it in the muzzle of the ten inch gun. putting the tampion in after it About an hour afterward the admiral came aboard, and as the gun was loaded with blank cartridge they used it to fire salute.
 It happened that the gun was aimed toward the town and almost point blank at the Grand hotel The guests had assembled on the porch to wit ness the ceremonies. when they were saluted with q rain of knives and forks. which stuck against the wood CD walls like quills on porcupine and drove the startled sightseers in mad head over heels scramble indoors in fear of a possible shower of pots and pans and dishes
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
READ THIS
THE DANGERS IN NOT USING
 GOOD MILK

Very few consumers of milk ever stop to think of how it is produced.
 Many sicknesses, especially in children have been traced by nedi- cal research to the improper hand ling of milk.
 A short time ago thyphoid fever broke out in the upper section of New York City and was traced by the Board of Health to the milk which had come from farm in the Northern section of New York State.
 Milk when taken from the COW is in pure state, and is the best whole food known 10 man, but care- lessly handled it becomes a danger, as the warm milk is ready to re- ceive foreign bacteria whi, h multiply at an alarming rate until the milk is dangerous to use, but cannot be deteced unless analized. Use milk which is produced under the following methods: Clean b ,rn, cowS cleaned one half hour before milking to allow the dust to settle, clean milking cans, dry milking, the habit of some milkers in wetting the hands with 1 the milk before milking is discust- ing and dangerous to milk. The use of tobacco in any form prohi- bited by railkers in the barn, wash | ino the hands before milking. taking the milk from the barn as soon as 1t comes from the COW, as there are more bacteria in the barn than out in the air. The liberal use of good dis infectant daily around the barn, especially in the gutters. These rules are strictly inforced at Brook side Dairy Farm, as the REPORTS of the STATE will prove by the low number of bacteria in Brookside Farm milk.
 1 Use Brookside Farm Bottled Milk delivered daily. A guarantees of it's purity goes with every bottle
 c. GIBSON,
 PRODUCER
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
MIL.
.nce. no destiny. no fate,

4hme is no chance. no destiny. no fate. Gnn ctrcumvent or hinder or control { TM firm resolve of a determined soul 0lfto count for nothing Will alone Is
 great. A1f fhings give way before 1t soon or late. Wnat obstacle can stay the mighty force ofthe sea seeking river in its course or eause the ascending orb of day to wait1 Eaeh well born soul must win what 1t de
 Serves. Let fhe fool prate of luck. The fortunate n no N hose earnest purpose never swerves. Whooe slightest action or inaction serves Tho one great aim. Why even death
 etands still And waits an hour sometimes for such VIII
 Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
Grspplino With the Menu.

An unwise providence had guided don restaurant. He could not under stand d word of French: but. determin- ed that he would not unnecessarily display his ignorance before the wait CT. he pointed to an Item and said:
 "I'lI have some of that, please"
 The waiter looked compassionate.
 "I'm sorry. sir." he said. gently. but the band is playing that just at pres ent"
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
Cradle Sonq.

 Hush thee. baby. night is near; Che bright star is shining clear: Now the moon. a silver bow Hangs above our cottage low Hush thee. baby. close thine eyes; Darker grow the evening skies Hush thee. baby, mother knows Way to land of sweet repose She will guide thee safely there Over poppy blossoms fair Hush thee. baby. sleep and dream While the stars above thee gleam. Hush thee. baby; wondrous sweet Are thy dimpied hands and feet. Wondrous dear thy sunny face. Pure and perfect fin its grace Sleep. oh. sleep. the whole night long: Shining angels round thee throng
 Ruth Raymond.
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
One Recommendation.

xhe members of political party in rt1In county were holding a conven- n fo nominate candidate for treas v. The leading aspirant was man 70 had formerly been noted as oeball player He had made great roe4 as a batsman, but was noto- loly slow iD running bases. The U who had placed him in nomina- made speech eulogizing him as md a citizen. He was followed 9toers in the same vein. and things 41ed to be going smoothly enough 1G4 one of the delegates rose and k Chairman, are good men so 11U4 that we have to choose a base |4 D1ayer for the most important of 0 the county. involving the han 1 of hundreds of thousands of dol. IE- Chairman" replied the original M ''it Is true that the candidate |< Dentioned was a ball player. but
 ask you. Mfr. Chairman, is there M here who ever knew him to Zen baseT'
 Part Of the Preparation.
 of Lady Reay's recollections is
 nner party at which she had for eighbor Gladstone. iD happiest
 He told her of his Eton ex- les and tales of terrible little pr The latter always had the J of those doomed to be logged
 down on narrow slip of
 One day. picking up such a
 called up for logging the boys
 names were inscribed upon it
 euch occasions the delinquents Dot permitted to offer expiana'
 po boy after boy was castsated
 Burned sore and savage to hta -l 1sot until the operation was com
 "a Dr. Keate learn that instead
 nogging list, he had picked up
 on which were the names o1
 . about to be confirmed
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
Experience Teaches.

''I wonder what has happened to Mir Green?" said Mrs. Brown to lady friend He seems so dismal now. and he used to be a practical joker!"
 An" was the response, he pro posed as joke to his present wife. She accepted him. and he says he will never indulge in a joke again"
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21

a seat in a tram car, be foun d himself next to a stif and pomp- ous looking swell. This didn't dis concert Pat in the least. and he c o m n ed a one sided conver- sation with his dignifed neigh Dor in a rather free and e a sy style. At length the mighty one, raising his eye hrowa said.
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
No Quarter Granted.

4111 story. which is told of a Scottish ltG11onder who served in the French xQks Illustrates either the bloodthirsu- - or the unique ideas of humor Of 6e Gcotchman:
 I'm highlander had overtaken flee 4G Frenchman and was about to nile him down when, falling on his Enee1. the E'renchman cried:
 3uarter! QuarterP'
 Ill no ha' time to quarter ye," the lcot Answered.. I'll just cut ye in
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
Seauels to "Mother Goose"

A rhyming game with plenty of chances for fun in 1t is here described. Before your guests arrive take as many sheets of paper as there are to be guests. At the top of each sheet write the last stanZa of nursery rhyme, different one on each paper-for exam
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
When she got there
The cupboard was bare. And so the noor dog had nnne

lAtt NuDbbdih W hS betita
 And so the poor dog had none.
 You will probably need copy of Mother Goose" to refer to. When the guests have arrived a pencil and one of the papers with verse al the top are given to each, and they are told that the point of the game Is to write a sequel to the nursery rhyme each will find on his paper. the time allot ted being half an hour When time Is up the papers are collected and the verses read aloud. A prize for the best rhyme may be given by commit tee on awards, chosen from among the players. Here is an example:
 The dog was distressed,
 Had a pain in his chest
 Because of his hunger and thirst.
 He howied out his woes,
 Then turned up his toes.
 Disappointment his poor heart had burst
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
MADE 4 BIG HIT.
The First Line Billy Florence Spoke
 Upon the Stage.

The late W j. Florence liked to re- call his first appearunce on the stage The play was Evadne. one of the old standard romances in which Mary An derson appeared very frequently in the earlier stages of her career.
 ''l was one of the couspirators." said Florence in recalling the night Hold backr was my line IL was tbe first. last and only line had in the play. I was naturally very timid at rehearsals. and delivered this order in a way un- like that of real conspirator.
 Shout 1t. my boy, shout it-let them hear that you have a voice. said the stage manager. If you want to sue ceed in this business you have got to have confidence in yourself If you go to market with a pound of butter to
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21

n Qa rd or ms f1Ir1t for beer.
 If s student fho morning aft lf corps meet
 a meeting Sereat be had nk by actual I5l1t ffty-three mugs of
 awoke to
 himself in but half un- ped. with his resting on billow.
 Du the low oard { h e
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
A Prank of the TypeS

A sentimental novelist. describing his heroine as one who always kept mod estly in the background" was horri. fled to find it recorded in print that she always kept modesty in the back ground"
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
Young Men Wanted
 Government Pays Railway Mail Clerks $500 TO $l'4OO a Year.
 Free Scholarships Are Offered

Uncle Sam holds examinations for railway mail clerk, postoffice clerks, carrier, custom house and department- al clerks. Prepare at once for the com- ing examinations.
 Thousands of appointments are to be made. Common school education is all you need; city and country people have equal chance. Start 10 prepare now-free information. Free scholarships this month. Write inn mediately to Central Schools, Drop Box 76, Rochester, N. Y. 43-lO
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
As Usual.

"So your Shakespeare club Is great success?'
 "Yes. We have accumulated enough fines for nonattendance to take us all 10 a musical comedy Washington Herald
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21

the plate. ana hence you can reauiIy wager to drink a glass of water with out touching your glass with your hands or mouth
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
Wrong Diaqnosis.

A certain high rolling student at Be50e berg was ponderous. bibulous ma somewhat stupid. his thirst for kn6Rledge not being quite up to the
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
NaturaIIX

A girl feels fattered when told she looks well in anything. but a wife thinks such compliment only plot to get her to wear old clothes.
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21

moment his large feet propped
 by side on the white pillow. Then 1 uDttered:
 Himmel. Here I've been thinking I'll uIght that had the toothache. and TIT my shoes that have been pinching
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21

To DNNANAoN oC aSeSP
 tive. Many sudden deaths are caused by it-heart dis ease, pneumonia, heart failure or apoplexy are often the result of kid ney disease. If kidney trouble is allowed to advance thekidney-poison- ed blood will at-
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21

My good man, I've your conversation for one of TIT own equals. I'd have you know TIT ! K. C."
 X this the countryman stood up sw1fh outstretched hands. exclaiming: ~6Hake hands. namesake. Begorra. Ym a Casey meselfY
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
The - ;crap Book
A Namesske.

A genial. garrulous old lrishman rom the country districts was visit IT Dublin for the first time. Taking
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21

Some one claims to have discovered that gophers do not like rye and that a strip of this cereal sown about wheatteld will keep the rodents out of 1t.
Putnam patriot., 1911-04-21
The Cause of Many
 Sudden Deaths.

There is disease prevailing in this country most dangerous because so decep-
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1911-08-05
HOW COULD WI ]! GET ALONG
WITHOUT TH1 CAPITALISTS?
BY JoHrFIM. WORK.

BY JOHNlM. WORK.
An Irishman once said that half the
lies they tell about the Irish are not
true. ..-s
None Of the lies they tell about So
cialism are true. :
The lies they tell about Socialism
are very wonderful, both in = their
stature and In their variety. i wis.,:
to refer to but one Of them at pres
ent It is q huge, awkward, massive:
monstrous lie. Ismean the one about
Socialism being Impractical because
we can't get along without the capt,
talists. =, IN So. i. - i. !.
Designing opponents Of Socialism
spring this He With malice afore-
thought Others task. in all serious
ness, do we not need the capitalists
to give US employment and: to manage
the industries? How would it be pos
sible to get along without them?'
Well, we can get along without the
capitalists a,szgood deal like a dog
could get along without fleas. :. L.
For, the capitalists perform exact
ly the same function in society. They
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1911-08-05
A POINTED QUESTION.

How far would a detective in the
employ Of labor--if labor were given
to such acts OF lawlessness- per-
mitted, to go in the, direction taken
by Burns without the hand of. the
law falling with severity upon him?:
Burns invaded the office of Score
tary McNamara and hustled him out
of the state. -: ~ =. =: :;
He seized him by fraud. -.
He telegraphed a lie to. District AT
torney Fredericks. . 49,
He kidnapped. Secretary Mcnamara
The prosecution practically :: ad-
nitted in court that the presence OF
Secretary McNamara in Los Angeles
was secured by fraud. ,r,- "-.E-a So :
The judge practically admitted
the same thing. 4:
Had the person thus illegally and
fraudulently treated been a million
aire manufacturer instead of a la
Dor official, would the district at
torney have so easily fallen in with
the plot, would the court have winked
at the crime? :as;..
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1911-08-05


sprung it OH ;sil1; GO iulenled the Cher
ub. II told him he was dead one.
He says he isn't, 4 $780,. :. =
"Then the count isn't dead, ehY'
Cherub zDeyine watched with mild
amusement the confusion Of mind into
which Mr..Hewinston was immediate
" plunged
my dear M. Devine." said he at
last, taking the Cherub by the arm
and leading him away from the ice.
house, "I-er--ah-- that isl hardly
know how to to- -
Eyes: understand. why not let it
come straight out. thought"
swell, / must begin by making the
regretful admission that we discovered
soon after my daughters marriage
indeed. on the very day Of the cere-
mony-that he was q person of disso.
lutte habits 1861 s<it5t r... ,..
eyes. heard all that the first day
struck here. And.tthen?''
'"Then. sir, there was an immediate
Separation. For time i continued to
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1911-08-05
lCONT1NuED.l

- CONTINUED
"Oh, WE'LL" he observed, "maybe
you're just as we'll off. Guess it was
some time ago, when you were young
and vealy, eh?'
II was a young ass, If that's what
you mean." cynically responded Mich
olas. II was too sure Of her and
played the fool You see, we were
youngsters together, playmates. It
was one of those affairs that every
body understood was settled from the
time we were dozen years old. !
took It as a matter Of course that l
was the only person she could ever
care for. In time she resented it, and
before knew it had lost her."
"Went Off with some one else, did
she?''
Again young Mr.. Walloway inclined
his head. He got up. took a seat on
the other side Of the car and unfolded
a newspaper.
It was less than an hours ride at
best, but before it was half over
Cherub Devine was consulting watch
and time table and had again shifted
his seat to the forward chair, where he
could watch for the name boards on
the stations.
Perceiv1ng this unusual agitation of
q mind normally free from such dis
turbances, you might suspect that Mr.
Devtne was about to make some great
venture. It was a fact: His plans,
however, were somewhat vague. About
the only definite part Of his program
was his decision to turn himself out
Of house and home Immediately upon
reaching Hewington Acres. This de-
tail was already prepared. The Count
ess Vecchi should buy back the place
at her own terms. She now had the
means, and he was we'll assured of her
desire to do so.
Small wonder, then, that Cherub
Devine in brief period Of time for
got all about the revived wretchedness
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1911-08-05
DIALOGUE BETWEEN
TWO LAWYERS

At one Of our city hotels a two.
lawyers met. and AFTER the, usual
greeting one said to the other: :by
the way, where did you get that suit.
Of clothes?" Why? inquired his
friend. because it Is the 8 most
stylish suit ! ever saw. 1t fits you.
perfectly and the suit IL 30 =different
from the ordinary. and the pattern
and shade OF the goods become you So.
well. Did you import sit from abrpad?s'
No. said his friend u got this cost
made at Matheson's TailoFtng EN-
porioum on Lake avenue north, and:
you IS up-to-date 8 suit s.of clothes.
20 you can set on the Continent Z and,
his prices are very re- onables In;
deed when the class ana Ion.
of the goods and M . ~ - scon-
[sidAtods
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1911-08-05
STRIKE rs STILL on.

The strike Of the $4,000 employees Of
the Baldwin Locoir olive works at
Philadelphia and Eddystone- is still in
progress. The men involved are
showing splendid spirit OF .detarmi-
nation and indications the to the eff
feet that this same feeling will bs
maintained indefinitely. Organizers
from the various crafts involved are
giving every assistance possible. In the
contest. These employees have labored
under unsatisfactory and onerous
conditions for many years, but; as Ii
the usual result. they finally turned
to the trade unions for relief.
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1911-08-05

supply him with funds, however, but
after we left Italy gradually ceased
to do 50. About two years ago the
count became so dissipated that it
was necessary to conf1ne him in san
itarium. he disappeared from his old
haunts. This gave rise to the rumor
that he was dead. It was so reported
here. Naturally the countess assumed
appropriate mourning garb. A few
weeks later we learned the falseness
Of the rumor. The count was still in
the sanitarium and much benefited by
his stay there. But this fact was not
made public" y
II ~see," said the Cherub. HE says
he's comelto collect that income you
promised him.: i. = u.
1.-The impudent scoundrelv' exclatm-
ed Mr.. Hewington, lifting his clinched
dsts. .=% -.
That's the talk! I wouldn't give up
to him II l were you. But he says If
he isn't paid he'll bring suit and adj
vertise the fact that he's still alive"
1.-THE villain!" gasped Mr.; Hewing-
ton. sss.s} r. ;z3ss = ..r.. :.
II had him sized up that way from
the start. That's why 1 chucked him
In on the fce.'''' .. .:. II
.sOn the-the ice. Mr.. Devine7'
why. sure! ! thought he'd cool OF
quicker In there than anywhere. else
"Ah, had forgotten! That the ice
house. of course. And he threatens to
make public his identity? This is ter.
rible, Mr.. Dev1ne. have told every
one that he was Why, just think
1t will be known that have stopped
toto deception" 3; s .
The trembling Jaw Of De Courcey
Hewington grew firm.
{. ''Deyine,' : said he, "this must not
be- That man must, not be allowed at
large ST WIZ
'.oh,, Til attend to that, all right.
You just stay mum and I'll keep him
on the Ice. But not 9 word to the
countess. = -
{. met a word" promised Mr.. Hewing'
ton. And in q month or 80 I will
build another icehouse Tor next sum-
mer's use.0 s.ss SIS
For next.summer!' And the Cher
ub's gaze wfdened a. the full sisnin::
canoe of this remark became clear e
him. Then you're inning 70 give
{ tho count q GOOD, long tseIn. . Vgsu
/ ny, there's nothing slow shout you
! = th1rs1 yhsW m hayo q
think Is on s. !I
{,
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1911-08-05

are leeches. They are parasites. They
do. nothing useful. They live of the
labor of others.
AS a rule, the capitalists do not
manage the Industries even now.
Most Of the managing of the indus
tries is done by hired men, while the
capitalists spend their time wasting
the profits. 49,
Take a walk up Fifth avenue In
New York City, and the side streets
that run off of it, and you will see
the scores of magnificent palaces,
costing millions Of dollars EACH, The
men who own those palaces also own
still other palaces at Newport and In
the Adirondacks. The same thing IL
true In somewhat lesser degree, of
every other city in America :,
These men are the capitalists. They
have the wealth, without having
earned 1t. The masses Of the people
are deprived of nearly everything
worth while, because the capitalists
have the wealth. = :
Decidedly we do not need the capt.
talists. On the contrary, we need very
badly to get rid of them, so that the
wealth will 60 to those. who earn it.
II any of the capitalists do have
managing ability. they will be sure
Of good jobs under Socialism. =, We
have no intention of abolishing their
ability. We only intend to abolish
their function as capitalists-their
function as parasites. !. -, !:
Neither will we need them to give
us Jobs. For, when the people own
the industries collectively, they will
employ themselves in their own. in
dustriea =
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1911-08-05
SEWELL FORD

q Convict. peoe. b. Anocheil ksnnehsy -
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1911-08-05
YOUR OPPORTUNITY.

Those who would know the whole
truth about the Minnesota legislature
Of 1911 should read Haines' book. For
one dollar you can get the book, and
The Labor World for one year and La
Follette's Weekly Magazine for six
months. All three for one dollar.
Apply to or Address The Labor World,
Manhattan BldE. Duluth.