Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-11-16
MN.THE.SPUR
F.THE.MowENT
~ BY ROY f.. MOULToN.

sOOevONs
dow was open. or perhaps the kitchen
door.
H. J. Y. writes AS follows: "How
long n handle should a furnace shovel
have to mako the fire burn good?"
We must, in answering this question,
transpose a famous saying OF A. Lin
coins and tell you that the handle
should be long enough to reach from
your hand to the shovel.
w. I. K. writes: my neighbor says
ne burned only our tons of coke all
last winter. Do o think that an un-
reasonable atOry?"
Not ut all. We burned only three
tons Of coke last winter, but we also
burned ~ tons Ut coal and nine cords
OF wood.
THE HUSKIN' BEE.
There amt nothin' like it. %fellers.
In thia world. take 1t from me.
NOthin's half so interestin'
AS the good old huskin' bee.
Every teller asks his sweetheart:
Httches up the old gray mare
Then they all race for the huskin'
Fer tn see who'll be fust there.
There they all set in a circle.
With the cOrn all piled up high;
Barn is all trimmed up like sixty.
LII the Fourth day OF July.
When a Teller finds a red ear
Then his gal must bnzx him sweet.
Each n a red ear with him
So he Will not miss that treat.
Red ears are SO doggone plenty.
Seems like they's the only sort.
And the kissin'. gosh all Friday.
! SnlVnHc Hkn CtoflfnO r,1nc' rnno,.t
When the huslsin' all Is over.
e they all set iown to eat
Apple cider and good dunnuts
Makes a banquet you can't beat.
| After cutin' comes the dancin'
Hear the good old fiddle sound!
Balance all and swing yer partners;
Gents jine hands and circle round
Drivin' holneward In the moonlight.
That's II pleasant job; yes. sir;
Best part of the whole blamed VEN
Is yer drivin' hOme with her.
-
IRRESISTIBLE IMPULSES.
To run your finger along the edge
of II knife blade before sharpening a
pencil.
10 sneeze right in the middle Of
the most exciting part of the drama.
To look into the collection plate and
see how much it contains.
To hold our palm over a hot air
| register to see if there Is any heat
coming up.
To size UP your %neighbors order OF
meat in the hotel to see If it is any
larger than our own
TO pick out II cigar that has got
white sane spots on 1t.
To pull u roller towel around three
nr fnlpv fir.ia knforo ,,cinu ~
To try n scrape acquaintance with
the railroad conductor.
To put salt on your food whether
it needs 1t or not.
TO ask your neighbor how much his
salary is.
TO kick the cat when anything zoe
| wrong ut home.
| To make some perfectly foolish re-
mark to the bride and groom.
TIC count the carriages in a funeral
procession.
Once upon a time a person made a
famous remark that nothing Is i'm
possible. Here are some things that
person never tried to dc
He never tried to convince his wife
hat she didn't need a new hat.
He never tried to cut a pane OF
! glass with a 10 cent glass cutter.
He never tried to unscrew the tor
from a glass fruit jar with his bare
| hands.
He never tried to look digniied in
Il cclluloid collar.
He v tried to hook his wife.s
| dress up the back in a hurry.
He never tried to make league base
ball pay in a town where grass grows
in the middle of the street.
He never tried to run n seven col.
umn newspaper In a one column town
-
OUR IDEAS OF WEALTH.
Knowing how to polish a plug ha,
with ~ silk handkerchief.
Shaking hands with a man who
owns an ont-of-door sleeping room.
Having grape fruit for breakfast.
Being asked what frat we belong
to.
walking down the street every morn.
ing behind the bankers.
Having Mr. on u visiting cards
Getting 4 laugh u Of a cafe waiter
Having IN automobile stop in front
II - -. -... -,,-- A.s --a-k~nA a