davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1911-12-10

at his obese sorrows and fails to rec
osnize that even the fattest. man has. !,
heart capable of loving and beins
loved 4- u
The universal tendency i 70 mai,
f,n =
- -. ~ i's aliu =
-. - taqipose tissue II
tfsfps ef Even a small bo,
dogs uot t<E1ishb beng AcaIled sFatty1 B,
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1911-12-10

has been-@exniplting his expansive
SkRsz at Riverview park. Chicago,
nsea informed by state Factory
gpeafef Davies that he Is yiolat-
labor law inasmuch an
Ting himself for a salary
B ~ of the age to be at
schoof aby Harry" when asked
why gh< 4 not attending school.
said I'm too fat. They
could net pld any place to put me.
waatoQ big for the desks, and
everySfhaf I1sat on broke down. II
you do1J let me work shall starvs
99enth lIt's awful to be SO fat
], Th1 pbservcr of Hudson county
View jersey, scopies the following bi
News from an English paper
liowing what long distances tn,
News editors BYE can trayel to ge
hese ifefns about cofpulency:
g MAN WANTS TO FLY
zF EccIestone. keeper OF .
pub called the Canterbury Arms.
Gan find an asroplane,sto carry him.
he ~ sure ehe Will establish one
worlds record, that of being tho
heayiest aviator yet Ecclestons
sfghs AS pounds and has offered
rich Inducements to Grahame
White, Paulhan and Bleriot to take
him up in their aeroplanes.
Sometimes the News Editor has thu
'ood fortune to get two fat people
Continued on Third page)
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1911-12-10

But the whole clan, class S1lsc-
ton Of them. They ared I5s
for stories about thess ls;l q.
others may be app1 3sss fss
mention in the 81 vzlh. even
though they 81 presidents. the
fat man storiq always boldly dis
played on th4 1nt page And the
story, once priS, is exchanged and
exchanged unt its reproductions
must reach into thQus ds and jss
readers be scattered over koles
4habitable globe. No item II nsTs
about the fat nah IS TOO insigpihc
for the notice ii ths ajsts
none Of the fat mans ztfaiis ssf6as
6syate for publication. snd cwtlsak w s
fro9the cradle to ths IS the iata
man is Alledlupon to s tor
news editoss eyerywhsrs
Here is some esgrob tiion IL tils
foregoing statements:s sxtraeted
from daily or weekly newspap
rent during the last year:
HOY TOO FAT FOR SCHOOL AND
TOO YOUNG TO WORK
Eugene Crawford. otherwise
known as Baby Harry" IA years
old and weighing 475 pounds, who
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1911-12-10
]. Spillenger, B. &c., M. D.

= !, - :
TT was Maclyn Arbuckle, who. star
ring ina popular comedy two or
three seasons ago, created and i'm
mortalized the epigram, Nobody
loves a fat man. You may remember
the circumstances which led to its very
forcible enunciation. The sheriff IF
San Saba county (Maclyn .ArbuckIeJ
oes to considerable troubis to
straighten out the affairs of a 9s1ng
lady for whom he had moro titan a
friendly interest Believing thak she
appreciates what he has donesfor her
and will be inclined to look with favor
on his suit, he stammers ny blum
dering proposal of marriage, but is
rudely scorned, and her hand is given
to worthless rake of a cowpunehcf.
And as the loving pair walk. away
from the camp arm in arm the disap-
pointed and corpulent lover throws
his hat on the ground. kicks it into the
tlre, sits ponderously down on a keg.
: OF salt pork, and remarks with en-
phasis: Hill Nobody loves a fat
amp
And the unthinking audience, seeing
that he really is excessively fat, laughs
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1911-12-10
HOY TOO FAT FOR SCHOOL AND
TOO YOUNG TO WORK

Eugene Crawford. otherwise
known as Baby Harry" IL years
old and weighing 475 pounds, who
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1911-12-10

of him a. haaopn. If he Sigh, there is
comedy. In the sound His eroans
make for .ridicule. his despair for
ribald jests. Let US not be cruel to the
fat man. beneath whose interlaid lay
ers of faky lard there frequently beats
a tender - 1GEuuush. dee3 r&c1se~. IS
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30

ton the service has a ship specially constructed
as "derect destroyer"-the only vessel of the
kind In the world.
Commissioned officers of the United States reve-
nue. cutter service have rank with the officers or
the army and navy and receive the same benefits
of retirement accorded these officers The
officers are trained for the service at the revenue
cutter cadet school, located at New London Conn.
Young men enter at any age between eighteen and
twenty-fOur and in addition to eXactioDs in book
learning must undergo military and nautical
training that in some respects Is even more ardu
than that given at Uncle Sans big academies
at Annapolis and West Point. OF the
classes at the cadet school comparatively small
sometimes there not more than two dozen
embryo officers enrolled at the institution, but this
is to be expected, for the revenue cutter service
does not need the great numbers of officers re-
CURED for rapidly growing navy. Indeed, there
less than three hundred commissioned officers
the revenue cutter roster, where as the warrant
officers and enlisted will probably not total
more than fifteen hundred, although Uncle Sam Is
constantly adding to his feet of revenue cutters,
and this expansion is reflected in the active list.
The navigating responsibilities OF the officers Of
the nations police boats probably exceed those
of any other men in the naval maritime service.
Unlike many of the men who go down to the sea
in ships, they do rot copfne themselves to given
path. On the contrary the young revenue
cutter officer may be called upon at short notice
to navigate his ship in any waters from south
ern Florida to northern Alaska, and he must enter
many bays and arms of the where no naval
merchant vessel would ever be required to go.
For these versatile demands the revenue cutter
officers especially trained during their cadet
course. Each year during the three-year course
the cadets spend several months cruising
practice ship" which joys back and forth across
the Atlantic, partly under steam and partly by
sail power. The boys attend to all the operations
connected with the navigation Of the vessel
gaining that grounding of practical experience that
will be valuable in later years-and incidently
they continue that small arms and ordnance prac-
tice which is feature of their schooling shore
The motto of the United States revenue cutter serv
ice is "Semper ParNtus," which may be translated
as Always Ready, and certainly the Yankee police
recent years that the words of this slogan convey
idle boast.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30

service were to apprehend smuggers and pirates,
but it is not the less suitable in this age when in
addition to the quest for such enemies of the law
the revenue cutter organization is obligated to
lend aid to every form of life saving at sea-for
It is recognized that the ideal policeman is
charged not only with the duty of protecting life
and property but also with responsibility for aid
Ing humanity in distress under any circumstances
The United States revenue cutter service has
had a most interesting history. After the freedom
of the American colonies had been through
the Revolutionary war, the country returned to a
peace basis and the continental navy dis
banded From that time forward there was no
sea force available for the protection of the coasts
and the maritime interests Of the new republic
until there a response to longfelt want
the organization of the revenue cutter service.
This was one of the acts of our first congress-
President George Washington signed the act in
August 1890, and within little more than year
ten vessels were ready for duty Thereafter for
a period of nearly years the little fleet
formed the only armed force afoat flying the
stars and stripes and the ships constantly
engaged in patroling the coastne of the country
and enforcing its maritime laws. The first OPP
pointments of officers in the revenue cutter
Ice were made from among those who had served
in the continental navy and since that time many
men who prepared themselves for naval serv-
Ice have amended their life plans to the extent
of taking commissions In the maritime police
force.
The work of the revenue cutter service as de-
fined by the various laws which have been en-
acted on the subject consists in the enforcement
of almost every statute bearing upon the maritime
interests OF the nation. At the head of the cate
CORY comes, of course, the protection of the
toms revenue and If smuggling in any form is
suspected the revenue cutter officers have the
right of search of all merchant vessels arriving
within the United States bound for an
American port. The suppression of piracy is not
heavy responsibility any more, but the search
for wrecked and missing vessels is RESPONSE
bility which has expanded the other has con-
tracted. The enforcement of the neutrality laws
is always something of chore, thanks to the
South and Central American revolutions that
Matched in the United States. Another important
task is found in the enforcement of law and the
protection of property in Alaska, including the
protection Of the seal and other fisheries In Alas
kan water-a form of oceanic patroling which has
been productive of many exciting episodes In re-
cent years.
The suppression of mutiny is another duty dele
gated to Uncle Sans police of the sea, but mu-
tneers alike to pirates have become rather scarce
in the neighborhood of Uncle SarA's domains In
late years. On the other hand there has been
tremendous increase in the volume of work re-
quired in connection with the destruction of de-
relicts and other menaces to navigation and in
the rendering Of assistance to vessels In distress
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
FOUND RIGHT PATH
After a False Start.
"In 1890 I began to drink coffee

"In 1890 I began to drink coffee.
"At that time I was healthy and en-
5oyed life. At first I noticed no bad
effects from the indulgence but in
course OF time found that various
troubles were coming upon me.
"Palpitation Of the heart took unto
itself sick and nervous headaches. kid
ney troubles followed and eventually
my stomach became so derangef that
even light meal caused me Serious
distress.
Our physicians prescriptions failed
to help me and then l dosed myself
with patent medicines till l was thor
oughly disguised and hopeless.
Finally / began to suspect that cof-
fee was the cause of my troubles. ex-
perimented by leaving it off, except
for one small cup at breakfast. This.
helped some but did not altogether rsS
heve my distress. 1t satisfied me,
however, that was on the right track.
SO l gave up coffee altogether and
began to use Postum. In ten days I
found myself greatly improved, my
nerves steady, my head clear, my kid
neys working better and better. my
hearts action rapidly improving. my
appetite improved and the ability to
eat hearty meal without subsequent
suffering restored to me. And this con-
dition remains.
Leaving of coffee and using Postum
did this, with no help from drugs/as l
abandoned the use of medicines when
l began to use the food drink" Name
given by Postum Co., Battle Creek,
Mich.
There's reason" and It is ex-
planned In the little book, THE Road
to MELVILLE" in pkgs.
Ever read the above Ietterf A new
one appears from time TO time. They
nrc genuine, true, and full of human
Interest.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30

thousand bees were circling around
trying to repair the damage which
had been done. Knowing the resent
ment that bees show when people
knock the top and bottom off their
hives and otherwise manhandle them.
Mr.. Jewett is uncertain just how far
the bees chased the thief before re-
turning home to take stock of the
damages. Mr. Jewett's theory is that
the thief knocked the top off going
through the gate, and the bees sailed
forth and began to puncture the ma
rauder, causing him TO drop the hive
and start an eXtemporaneous effort to
set up few running records.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
MAN WHO STOLE BEES
DOES RUNNING STUNT
WOULD BETTER HAVE CARRIED
OFF RED HOT STOVE WITH
OUT ASBESTOS GLOVES.

Savannah, Ga.-The man whose
thievish instincts led him into the
taking of red hot stove without the
protection Of asbestos has been held
up as an example of enterprise in this
particular line, but he must step into
second place for the man who attempt
ed to steal bee hive from +. w. Jew
EFT, OF this city. The particular hive
selected by the thief in the absence
OF a census Of its occupants is esti-
mated to accommodate somewhere in
the nei9hborhood of ten thousand
bees.
The hive was found just outside the
gate through which it had been taken,
its position indicating that it had
been left in hurried manner. When
Mr.. Jewett found the hive it's top
and bottom were both off. and the ten
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
Escaping the Drudgery
Woman Tells How Household Work May Be Made
Less Unpleasant.

The old-time household duties also disappeared
to great extent. Scrubbing was no longer a
necessity | found waved floor with simple but
effective rugs just practical as in other parts
of the house, says writer in Success. The next
step to eliminate that second frightful bug
bear of housekeeping-was the pots and pans
No dish or kettle used in cooking was allowed to
become cold before being washed with a COM
bination wire and bristle brush The hand thus
camo In contact only with the handle of the ves-
sci, doing away with the most unpleasant part of
dishwashng, while the immediate cleansing min
imized labor by preventing particles of food from
drying and sticking TO the sides of the utensil.
Table tops OF glass and marble also helped to
reduce labor In the kitchen. These were constant
ly kept spotess ty the free use of paper napkins
as 'wipe-up rags" The employment Of paper is
of the most washable means of saving work
Paper napkins when bought in quantities are
cheap, they absorbent, easily handled and may
be quickly disposed of.
Another of our schemes was to have all garbage
instantly dropped down a tube from the sink to
incinerator in the cellar, doing away with
that most unpleasant chemical combination of
mixture Of nondescript scraps, so unpleasant to
the senses of sight, smell and touch. We have
not as yet reached Mrs. Rorer's ideal Of minimum
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
BALD EAGLE FIGHTS SOLDIER
Infatuated Bird After Being Wounded
SavageIy Attacks Man Who
Fired the Shot.

Lynn, Mass.-Corporal Thomas
Campbell, formerly Of New York, of
the 147th company, United States coast
artillery, stationed in this city, is suf
fering from injuries received in fight
ing an American baldheaded eagle
here. He was summoned into court
charged with violating the game laws
of Massachuse;t~ and fine $40.
Campbell fCrld the bird perched in
a tree. He got gun and fired. The
bullet only stunned the bird, which
then began to fight. Thomas Egan.
who was with Campbell, had his over.
alls torn from his body while attempt.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
important 10 Nothers
Risked Punishment for DOG.

A pleasing story Of prisoners love
for his dog comes from North Yaki-
ma, Wash. Michael Short, septenced
to the street chain gang to work out
his fine, escaped with two other men
recently, but somewhat to the surprise
of his overseers turned up again for
work the next morning Mike ex-
planned to the officer that acts as fore
man that he had left his little dog
tied beneath his bed at home and that
he had stolen away to liberate it, as it
had been three days without food or
water
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30

waste but we are striving to approach it, for
therein lies another real source of economy.
A great deal of dirt and the labor of removing
1t was prevented by having all vegetables washed
before they were brought into the house. To this
end l devised a little drop table near the pump
on the back porch, only step from the garden
We live in the country and grow some of our
vegetables but the principle of leaving al.
possible dirt outside is that could be applied
almost everywhere. All market deliveries werc
left In basket Just outside the door, obviatins
the running In and out OF da.very boys
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30

crews, but in addition it has virtually developed a
life-saving service of it's own, and every revenue
cutter might be designated a floating lfesav-
ing station. The police of the sea have to afford
protection for the sponge fisheries In the Gulf OF
Mexico and the Straits of Florida; they play an
important part in enforcing quarantine regula-
lions when Uncle Sam is putting up the bars"
against plagueinfested country abroad, and
they guard the safety of the public at all great
yacht races and regattas.
Persons who bear in mind the principal events
OF the SpanishAmerican war will recall that the
revenue cutters with their officers and men
played an important part in the defense of the
country during that conflict But this in
novation. In the preceding wars in which this
nation engaged the revenue cutter service al
ways had hand, and indeed, there is standing
arrangement whereby, in the event Of war, the
police of the sea cooperate with the navy 1t is
a question: after ALL however whether the great
est victories of the revenue cutter service have
not been won in times Of peace. Take, for ex-
ample the great yellow fever epidemic that in the
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30

neath my eyes and my Ieet Ncre 80
swollen l could scarcely wear my
shoes. I noticed Improvement after l
began taking Doan's Kidney Pills
and was soon cured. The swelling
and bloating disappeared, I can rest
like a child and have gained ten
pounds in weight"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price 6Oc-
Foster-M ilburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
Burned Her Prayer Book.

Fort Wayne, Ind.-While a sudden
electrical storm of great severity was
passing over this city lightning struck
the Trinity Episcopal church and
stunned many of the worshipers gath
cred inside the sacred edifice. The eff.
feet was startling. A prayerbook held
by Mrs. w. w. Shryock was burned
from her hand, which was b!ackened
by the bolt.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
Inc Man In Front.

'Who is at funny man S }ndin' up
In front of the band wavin' a stick"
THAT, my dear, is the conductor"
Does he make the music go?"
Yes, my child
well, then, why don't they call him
the motorman?
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30

ney Pills have cured
thousands. Mrs.
George Earl, Madi-
son, Neb., says:
For over a year l
was afflicted with
terrible kidney trou-
BILE. / was subject to
hot flashes, became
dizzy and felt tired
and exhausted. Puff
fly spots appeared be-
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
CONSIDERING the Details.

Alphonso-Gwendolyn, why are you
so cruel as to keep me waiting for
my answer? 1t is now ten minutes
since l asked you to be my wife.
Gwendolyn-O, pardon me, forgot!
was simply choosing my bridesmaids
STRAY Stories.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30

ing to lasso the bird 1t was finally
overpowered. The bird is alive and
under surgical treatment at the home
of Game Warden Thomas Burney. 1t
is six feet ten inches from tip to tip
of it's wings.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
StoD the Pain.

The hurt OF a burn cut stops when
Coles Carbolisalve is applied. 1t heals
quickly and prevents scars. 25c and 60c by
druggists. For free sample write TO
J. w. Cole & Co., Black River Falls. Wis.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
WHY BE WEAkf

Why suffer backache, headache.
dizziness, WEAKNESS. urinary irregu-
Iarities and other troubles that arise
from disordered kidneys when re-
lief is so near at hand? F3an's Kid
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30


certain cutters each year
during the stormy winter
months from November to
April to patrol our far-hung
coast line in search Of YES
sells in distress and to re-
spond for any calls for as
sistance that may be re-
ceived via wireless In the
performance of this duty
thousands of persons have
been rescued from the per-
lis Of the sea and property
to an aggregate value or
many millions Of dollars
has been saved. The
beats" covered by the po-
lice of the sea on this win
ter watch" are not con-
fined to the Atlantic, Pacific
and Gulf of Mexico, but in
clude also the great lakes
and the Bering sea and
Arctic ocean. A kindred
work OF almost equal i'm
portance is the destruction
Of derelicts which menace
all ships on the ocean path
ways. Every revenue cut
ter carries high explosives
and the paraphernalia for
blowing up or otherwise de-
stroying a derelict as soon
as discovered, but in addi-
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
II ZzE C4AET SCHON or ZzENS(
CZz|-ER cSEIpWCEcI

summer of 1905 ravaged the gulf coast Of our coun
try Revenue cutters and feet OF chartered vessels
commanded by revenue cutter officers patrolled the
waters of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and
Florida and for the first time in the history of such
epidemics there not single instance OF the
spread of the disease through communication by sea-
The ships were constantly within the infected dis
trcts and although Of them had to fight the
fever among its own crew never once did the vigil
lance against the scourge relax.
AS has been said, of the most important duties
Of the service is the relief of vessels in distress and
within late years this has developed regular win
ter patrol" of farreaching scope and immense value
Tba
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-09-30
EWET TNCLT SAMSPOLTCE
& OOf Y1L S[A : - 8,

2: ! !.
x% widen its sphere Of beneficial &C
ER tivity is the aim of every well-managed
XII branch of our national government but
"a it is doubtful if any of these have been
M ~ more successful in the effort than the
United States revenue cutter service
n.y. This organization under the treasury
A. ~ department, was long ago nicknamed
81 ~ Uncle Sans police Of the sea-" and the
sr-fSS designation has stuck because it is man.
ifestly appropriate. The title was
ously fitting in the old days when the chief
es of the officers and men of the revenue cutter
The Yale expositor., 1911-05-18
|IMRyG1IES oCaMSs
|. -. ia 9ItIH@EH wv

The aeroplane hat is seen every
where.
All vivid colorings are used for
evening.
Pongee is worn again this season,
as always. New colors and new
weaves are to be had in the shops.
1t is a great ribbon season. 1t is
used for trimming, and in shades of
rose and cerise is much used
Bright blue combined with cerise is
used on a smart crepe de chine blouse
decorated with eyelet embroidery.
Figured crepes, trimmed with plait-
ed rufiles, are quantity pretty for aft
ernoon wear, as we'll as for the blouse.
Embroidery in bright colors worked
in oriental, Persian and Bulgarian de-
signs are decorating all kinds OF
gowns.
The silhouette in the new gowns re-
mains much the same, the skirts are
narrow and the kimono sleeve is still
much in evidence. The waist line is
slightly raised in the gowns as well
as in the newest French tailor made
suits, and in these nothing is more
noticeable than the short, jaunty
length of the coat.
The Egyptian motifs show such de-
signs as the beetle or scarab, the ris-
ing sun, the cobra, the lotus, palm,
papyrus buds and reeds, animals, fan
shaped ornaments, the ram, human
figures and so on. The colors show
such combination as black, yellow and
red; red. blue and white; green and
black; dark red, medium yellow and
blue.