Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1911-10-07
Anecdotes OF Paul F. voelker

balance is struck at the end of the
season, he puts these on the credit
! side of the ledger, as among the
one of the lonely fraternity.
JOYS AND ,MIsERIEs
Life to him is like moving picture
with new landscape everyday and a
new audience every night There
are novel menus at the hotels
and different smiles on the COM
mitteemen. There are early trains
to run for and late trains to wait for
There are joys and there are miseries
Now, Shakespeare says that misery
acquaintS a man with strange bad
fellows. Had he been a travelling
lecturer, he would have said that
strange bad fellows acquaint a man
with misery.
TAKEN FOR A SALESMAN
Mr.. Voelker is frequently taken for
a salesman.
What is your line?" they ask him.
sThe lecture line,'' he replies
.'Oh, the 'lectric line"
But what's the difference? There
are as many ups and downs on the
lecture line as there are on the trolley
line
Somtines he is asked, s'What do
you sell?'
He tells them that he sells the
truth. OF course this is contrary to
the Scriptural injunction which COM
mand that we ''buy the truth but
sell it not"
PRoNOUNCING HIS NAME
Most people find it difficult to prom
ounce his name. They try every
thing from Volker to Vulture Some
even call him Vulgur, but its before
they have heard him. He himself
pronounces it .'Velker" with sse''
short, and the assent on the first
syllable.
WILL HE COME BACK
Once he dropped off the train down
in Indiana. A seedy looking indiv-
ual came to greet him.
''Be you the lecture man?" he ask
ed in a husky voice.
Mr.. Voelker assured him that he
was the looked for parsonage.
''Come along with me-
!. He followed him through a half
mile of sand and silence, lodging
among narrow streets and crooked
alleys. Finally they stopped at a
rude hovel.
''The committee says as maybe
you'd object to the hotel, thar bein'
a bar in connection. So I've brought
ye to me home"
There was no place like sshome. .
At least the lecturer had never seen
one. The floors were so dirty that
he had to wash his feet before going
to bed The meals were decidedly
favorable to dieting.
When the hour for departure arriv--
en-, the individual accompanied him
to the train.
81 s'pose you'll never come back. y
The lecturer assured him that he
was sometimes invited on a return
date.
"Wall, all / know is that McClary
and Hale said they'd never come
back. Said they had so many other
dates.,'
Poor McClary and Hale. They had
been entertained at the same ''home.' y
HE'S MARRIED.
Mr.. Voelker is benedict, very de-
voted to his wife. Being rather
young looking, he is often taken for
single man.
Once he told young lady who had
engaged him in pleasant conversation
for several hours, that he was mar
ried man.
''Oh, she said, with a look of dis
pointment; 'isn't it too bad that all
the nice men are married?'
MY good friend.' said the lectur-
er, IAN unmarried man is merely a
diamond in the rough. The men you
speak of are not married because
they are nice; they are nice because
they are married.
LITTLE, BUT On, N.Y.
Professor Voelker is a very slight
man physically, but, as often is the
case with such people, he is always
ready to stand up for his rights.
Once there was a crowd of ruffians
at a railway station who amused
themselves by pushing each ether
against the waiting passengers.
The little lecturer braced himself
against the biggest fellow of the
gang
"You quit your nonsense he
said
The ruffian laughed.