davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26
Recovered.

DR. PAUL BURNMASTER, president
II of the Chicago . Anti-Gambling
League, was discussing his suit for SIS, 200, :
OOO against a noted Spectator.
Spectators Of this type said DR..
Burnmaster, ARE so welded to gambling
that they see no harm in the practice.
They deem their pernicious doings to be
work. work helpful to the community,
like baking bread or building houses. In
their blindness to their own shortcomings
they remind me of Billings.
Billings, showed up by a blizzard in
a country town, sad, reproachfully. to the
one waiter in the places restaurant:
Look here. waiter, I've just found
this suspender button in my SOUP
The waiter hurried forward. beaning
"'Oh, thank you. sir he said, L
could,': imagine what had become Of
it,"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26

ing?' require Hon. Aldrich from Hon.
Tawney with roll call voice.
Il shall spend the rest of my life be-
tween Minnesota and Panama." he say
so. II shall rebuke the big guns of
both important places and assist Hon.
Andrew Carnegie to make the world as
much like The Hague as possible"
20 observe who approaches holla all
Persons making lame duck signals with
wrists.
x X
From nearbye distance come a Human
Keynote walking with fatisued express
sion like one who has been defending
Senator Lorimer. 1t was Hon. julius
Caesar Burro. reformed Senator from
Mich.
March will be a national holiday
with me-" he deliver with brightly smil-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26
Warping the Deacon;
HDAUL NORTON said a Chicago

HpAUL NORTON" said a Chicago in
surance agent was a stickler fol.
business honesty. 1 once heard
him, in an address to agents, declare
that dishonest dealer would turn the
straightest patrons morals slightly
askew
"IIe illustrated this with a story
There was a farmer who sold butter to
the village storekeeper. taking sugar in
exchange. 1t seemed to the farmer after
a while that the sugar he was getting
was short weight. Accordingly he made
a complaint.
Look here, Deacon he said, 1T seems
to me you're giving me short weight
sugar.
NO said the deacon, a religious old
man, in a dry voice; no, that can't be,
for in measuring out that sugar Of yours
/ always use pound of your butter as
a weight
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26
A Waterman Tells Stories
Of Congressional Library

please was his answer. I am sorry, sir,
1 said, but IL you want to keep your UNI
brella you will have to go outside or
course, he finally gave In. but 1t seemed
to hurt him.
At this point visitor sidled up and
broke into the conversation. You know"
he commenced, Il have visited all the
public buildings I'm Washington. and
with one exception I must say that the
people in them are the most polite
have ever SEEM"
"And the one where they are not?"
asked the Waterman In the voice OF one
who is daily accustomed to show cur!os-
fty to any remark made.
THE Capitol almost exploded the VS.
itor. They don't even know how to open
a door for q lady over there" With
that out OF his system. ho. seemed re-
lieved. and wandered off and was soon
lost In the labyrinth OF arches.
THAT reminds me of one woman who
came over here. How much does this
building Weigh That was one Of the
questions, while another one was the mum
Der Of marble stones in the building, and
how many pieces OF mosaic had been
used. But what was going to say about
her was that she asked me which kind
OF people were the quietest. Deaf and
dumb. ma'am,' l answered. because they
can't talk / suppose she meant which
nationality. As q matter ar TACT, tho
Chinese are the quietest. They generally
can't speak much English and don't feel
inclined to jabber away In their own
language"
The library OF Congress, It seems. 10
not a productive field for the souvenir
hunter There isn't much for anybody
to take" said the Waterman, land IL
any one is caught mutilating the build
ing ITSELF why. 1t is a penitentiary OHense.
so that we don't have much trouble. We
do have to keep y good supply Of drink
ing glasses, though. The glasses have
the name Library of Congress- blown in
them, and some people take them away
as souvenirs. But aside from that We
are not bothered much"
And besides having couples coming
here for marriage licenses, We have
dozens OF brides and grooms every day. L
can spot them every time. The man al
ways hangs on to the girls arm as IL he
expected her to run away.
''Of course we hear a lot OF funny re-
marks from people who come in and are
struck with the beauty Of
the place. But a large portion of the
visitors who come here don't say much
Of anything when they get inside. OF
course the largest per cent OF people COM
To them the Library OF Con-
gress is a great place, and they almost
seem to feel that 1t is sacred. and that
they must not talk out loud. They como
In and hush falls over the group and Il
is several seconds before they. say any
thing. Even then they walk around
quietly, as il it were wrong TO be natural
and cheerful.
But I suppose 1t takes all kinds to
make a world, and that the people We
get here are just the common run. But
sometimes we do hear funny things, and
light to our patience to keep from saying
hings We would only get reported for.
But it's all in the days work, and after
Ill We get some fun out OF 1t.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26

functions of modern press agents for
theatrical folk.
They were called "secretaries'' at that
time. just as they are now. But their
job was to keep their employers in front
of the public just as much and often as
they could. Always these press agents
had elaborate lists of the guests present
at the functions OF their employers, and
can remember what careful editing these
lists always needed, for it was the COM
monest thing for lot of distinguished
guests to be named Oh such lists who
were not present at the functions at all
and who never had entertained the slight
est idea of being present. Also these press
agents that We're not then so called al
ways had brand-hew photographs of their
mistresses-yea. and OF their masters,
of the Climber" species senerally-ready
to dish out to the society reporters for
the New York papers, and they would be-
come intensely peeved, deed they would,
when these photographs didn't appear,
and when their peevedness did not get
them anything in the publicity line, why,
they'd turn right around and become
wheedling and imperative and say that.
honest lnjun. their jobs in the great
households depended upon their contriv-
ing to get those pictures in the papers,
and couldn't it be done somehow as a.
special and particular favor to them
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26

tiles? 1 come to bury Caesar, not to
praise him. Sweet country life is more
best for me. There to practice little
golf and little law. There can wear
my soul carelessly on the side of my
head. There I can do valet work for
cows and horses in complete peace. Too
long have been chore boy for the Re-
publican Party. Whenever there was a
keynote to be footed or Illinois corr
ruptionist to be enamelled white, then
all Statesmen would holla, Let Caesar
do it, am tired Of being used for my
talents. Goodbye for me-
Senator Beverage set reading maya
zine to learn what style Of story
cites he should learn to write when he
Joined himself to Indiana again.
Il believe in Organization" say Sena-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26
@X8 ~%>%y Mzzzlcg M5mz 111@ @@1 &AA&Esz2

out of politics for 10. 20 or so years,
do not call it a retirement. I call it a
vacation. I was Speaker Of the House
before Jo-Uncle Cannon learned how to
smoke Then I took slight vacation of
20 years and came back younger.
shall do so again"
you cannot do SO oftenly." suggest
Hon. Lowden. Because old age will
intercept you
How foolish you converse" holla Jo-
Uncle Keifer II am only IS years
ased In IS years shall be enabled
to return to Congress and overwllale the
Democratic majority
you are a remarkable comeback"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26

TNTER a couple timidly. '.PIease tell
me where the clerk is asks the
young man in a self-conscious
voice, at the same time casting glances
at the young lady. What clerk?" asks
the Waterman at the door, in a voice
void Of sentimentalism. ''Why the clerk
who gives out marriage licenses, of
course replies the young man in an
aggrieyed voice We'll this happens to be
the Library of Congress, and not the
courthouse. Take the car up there and
get off at AZ street." And in the voice
of the watchman Is a suspicion Of Con-
tempt.
The foregoing is a sample of what the
Watchman at the door of the Library of
Congress has to put up with while on
duty.
1.-The daily average" said a veteran
Waterman. lis about twenty-five hundred
visitors. OF course some days We run as
nigh, as four or five thousand. while at
other times We don't have more than fif-
teen hundred people come in, but taken
all in all the average is about twenty-fi
hundred. And what an assortment there
1.-The other day a man came In here He
was a big man. who sort OF looked as ff
lie might be a senator or something like
that. Well, in he came smoking a cigar
that looked like headlight. Sorry, sir
Se,iu L, Uut SiHOhiuS dllOWcu.
"'No. said he. SOFT Of hurt. We'll, I
am so-and-so, the private secretary OF
Congressman so-and-so, and it seems to
me that if l want to smoke in here It's
all right
Sorry I replied, but IL you want to
come In here you must leave the cigar
outside. l amt doing it: it's the rules Of
the place, and am simply paid by Uncle
Sam to carry out those rules
oh, very well, Them was his answer
as he walked outside and left the cigar,
but he looked as If he would have liked
to kick me.
But here's where We get the sarcasm.
all right said the Waterman, pointing
TO the umbrella and hat and coat stand.
There's where We get it. The people
sometimes get as sore as anything be-
cause we can't let them take their UNI
show them the sign over there they get
sarcastic. One woman came in here the
other day and started off down the cor
ridor with her umbrella. "Check your
umbrella, lady, l called after her. She
looked around as If to see what was go
she came over here smiling and says,
Want my pocketbook. too?' Then an
other lady came in and after l had at
tracted her attention and told her the
rules, she looked me over in a contemp-
tuous manner and then asks politely:
also?' No. madam l answered. as seri-
ously as il she We're the President, we
would prefer that you kept those on"
"A man came In here the other day and
when / told him about checking his UNI
brella he looked me up and down. and
then remarks, I'm citizen OF the United
States. and am free to do as / please
Certainly answered politely, only you
can't carry your umbrella around in
here. AS a free citizen l can do as
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26

lieve that they've done something, or
that, at any rate, something has been
uone, In the way of reducing the hor-
rid volume and variety Of tympanum-
bursting sounds that make New York,
even at the dead of night in good
many neighborhoods, a sort Of neither
most pandemonium.
But the noises go on and on; par
ticularly the noises which the Anti
Noise Society has taken the greatest
pains to attack. For example, the fish
and vegetable peddlers bawl through
the streets of New York just as bawl-
fully today they did long before any
such an institution as anti-noise
society ever was heard of. The anti
noise people went after them long,
long ago. got before the board of alder
men with representations, saw mayor
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26

after mayor about the thing. and fixed
up law after law putting the ex-
tinguisher upon these aforesaid bawl-
ers. The net result is that the fish and
vegetable persons with the wagons
have learned to insert a little extra
note of defiance into their tones, and
they pull these notes with particular
gloatfulness when they're making de-
tours with their wagons for the especial
purpose of passing by the Riverside
drive residence of Mrs. Isaac Rice.
Long, long ago it was announced that
the unspeakable villains of umbrella
and cane-chair members, who went
through the streets proclaiming their
mending ability by means of battered
comets, upon which they perpetrated
outrages calculated to reduce the most
normal man to acute mania-long ago
it was announced that the Anti-Noise
Society had succeeded in obtaining what
is technically known as the official cam
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26
THE ENGL ISF4 AFTERNOON TEA HABIT

the fummery that attends the making of
hotel solely for the purpose of getting
dish of tea for themselves. At the little
tea shops you get all of the tea and cakes
on the side that YOU possibly can attend
to for 80 or 40 cents, and you come away
from one Of these places prepared to de-
fend your right to, go on living until sup
per time or dinner time, anyhow. The
afternoon tea habit is sort of easement.
1t let's you down. 1t puts an agreeable
little set OF skids under YOU and gently
rolls you along through bad part of the
day. And the late afternoon, especially
in the winter season, of course, is the
worst part of the day. 1t is, as students
of alcoholism know, the time of day when
men endeavoring to cut out drink are
most inclined to yield to the temptation to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26

going in for afternoon tea for the clerks
presently. The scheme isn't confined 10
the clerks here. All Of the officials nave
their tea here. just the same as the clerks,
from the president down; and we all en-
joy II. and we find out in our own cases
how much more smoothly the work goes
for the remainder of the day after we've
had the tea diversion
-
Nor is this the only indication that the
afternoon tea scheme is destined to take
its place as an American or, at least, as
a New York institution. At a number
of the highest grade downtown bars. par
ticularly in the Wall street district, tea
is now served over the bar. Regular.
fragrant, hot, the-cup-that-cheers-bu t-not-
inebriates tea. The barkeep makes it
for those who want it while they wait
u minute. The cunnin little individual
pots are stacked up, waiting for the tea
patrons, and when tea IS asked for, as
1t IS with astonishing frequency, the bar
keep eases the correct amount of tea into
the pot, fills it with hot water from the
big silver hot-water vessel that is kept
always going, and passes the pot out on
tray with cup and saucer and spoon
and a little dish of cakes or graham
waters on the side. When that first was
pulled down i'll the financial district the
tea boys naturally got the long aud
raucouS laugh from their mateyS, Who
We're ordering heftier things.
But the habit stuck, and 1t has grown
wonderfully. Stock brokers who in other
days, tired and nervous at the close of
the days trading. would hurl themselves
up to the bar of the nearest dampo. ium
and proceed to insert large number OF
cocktails or h.ghballs into their dia-
phragras, now are the call RS for the little
pots of tea. They found out the adj
vantageousness OF the tea, as 1t We're.
For example, the tea does not send them
home to the bosoms of their families in
a considerably or nearly picked condi-
ton, raspy, sore, and SO on as persons
suffering from the Inevitable reaction of
hard drinks are liable to be The tea
handed them the required glow, but didn't
render them dismal and incompetent for
the remainder of the evening. So now
"A remarkable number of the 70 mer cock
tailers and highballers are adherents to
the tea plan of letting themselves down
from the strain after their days la Der,
and these are the great boosters for th..
thing. They feel SO much better for II
that they can't help but boost
X x
In the streets off Broadway, up in the
hotel district, q lot Of little tea shops, gen.
orally conducted. and charmingly con-
Quoted, by womenfolk, have been started
in recent years, and all of them wear a
very prosperous air. Drop into any one
of these places along toward O'Clock in
the afternoon, and you'll find them right
comfortably filled with regular, mascu-
line-looking male persons Of all ages. just
sitting there at the nice little mission
tables and absorbing large draughts OF
tea into their frames These little plants
are for folks who don't care 10 indulge IL
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26

10 u.s. suggest Hon. Tawney.
If nothing happens we won't meet"
corrode Hon. Al Beverage with insurgi-
cal eyewink
While me & Nogi was clipping to Penn
r. r. Station making notes on our
brains, who should come up behind US
but a pair OF feet.
You have missed me in the barn
yard" holla a New York Central voice.
We turn quickly edgewise and beholt.
1t was Hon. Chauncey NJ. Depew, Janus
entertainment.
You have excluded me from the poul-
try" lie snagger.
(Which poultry. pleaseo' I require
with Chanticler expression.
Them Lame Ducks you was here to
report" snuggest Hon. Depew. II too
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26

observed Hon. Jo-Uncle Keller Of Ohio
clipping down sidewalks with Hon.
Frank Lowden Of Ill. Me &. Nogi trace
them closely by their rear footsteps,
because we observe their lame duck
expression.
"Jo-Uncle." say Hon. Lowden humoris-
tically, II congratulate YOU
why should ito'' require this Keifer
gentleman.
II congratulate you on your happy re-
tirement from public life communicate
Hon. Lowden.
do not congratulate me on such slight
matter" say Hon. Keif. when I go
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26
cciaI Correspondence Of The Star.

Special Correspondence of The Star.
NEW YORK, February %, 1911.
AS the English afternoon tea
habit for business men and
other regular people emigrated
III hitherwards?
1t begins to look SO. The
other afternoon 1 happened to be at
the far downtown Offices of one OF the
big insurance companies along toward
O'Clock in the afternoon. 1t is an in
surance company that employs male
persons exclusively. The employees
were bending busily over their desks
when 1 got there. Presently there was
a diversion that brought immediate
cladness into the faces of all hands.
Six trig mattresses from a rapid lunch
plant a few doors away entered to-
sether, carrying tea trays. The walt
resses quickly circulated among the
desks, pouring out tea and forking over
cute little sweet cakes to the clerks
they'll be calling 'em "ciarks next,
inayhap. The men more than guiped
their tea and dreGged into their cakes
The Mattresses stood by, waiting to re-
fill the cups. All of the men had their
cups reiilled. They looked glowy and
contented with life when, after about
twenty minutes given over to this tea
PARTY, they dug into their work again.
asked one of the officials Of the in
surance company how long this had
been going on, and what for
/; !:
I'VE introduced the afternoon tea thihs
last year" lie said. And It's DANDY
plan. Makes for greater efficiency. ihat'
really. is the secret of the English habit
If disbjny out tea to office workers when
the afternoon begins to wane. And sew
eral of us found 1t out by watching the
way il worked in England. So We put
the scheme into operation here You see'
office people begin TO tire, and some OF
them even involuntarily begin to Stop
their work. as the day wanes. The grind
begins TO tell on TIL m. They need some
thing 10 sort of chrk them up. In the
old 6ays men working in offices used TO
sink out when they could get Il chance,
toward the end of the afternoon and get
a drink-and it wasn't tea, either-to keep
them tuned mp until the finish OF the day.
in modern business, of course. nothing
like that is possible.
the solution. / used to laugh. with the
rest of Americans, at this tea-drinking in
the afternoon on the part OF English Of
flee men. But that was because | didn't
understand the underlying reason for il.
our men arc here for two hours after
they have their afternoon tea, and their
work Is vastly better for the little let-up
and the tea. They pitch in after the tea
with senc wed interest and activity, and
all that, of course, is an advantage to
the company You'll find that Il lot OF big
concerns With large office forces Will be
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-02-26

make following quotes from Hon. Long
fellow, Janus bookmaker:
"This is the Forest upheaval. the muir
muring pines and the sawmills,
Covered with moss Of landoffice brand,
indistinct in the twilight,
Buzz with political wheels in voices sad
and pathetic,
Stand like Senator Hale with whiskers
brushing their neckties-"
With immediate quickness of Hon.
Shylocl Holmes I recognize who was
II present you with my respectful
how-do. Hon. Gift Pinchot," is speech
for me.
How YOU know I am that personali-
ty?" he require baffably.
when 1 look at you 1 enjoy feelings
Of conservation / report. who else
could do so?''
= x
cit is on subject of Conservation that
/ have arrived snuggest Hon. Gift.
"Too hastily all our National Resources
are being chopped up before they are
ripe. We are filled with Indifference of
as trees. coal and waterfalls lie loosely
here and there to be gathered by Cor
poration Lawyers. The same is true Of
our statesmen. And this is crime. For
what National Resource have We got
more delicious than our Statesmen,
these splandid vegetables who grow on
farms, get ripe in fall and are delivered
to Congress by carloads? Should we
neglect them: Answer is. By No
Means
1 obtain slight shock from this.
Date Of March 4, say Hon. Gift,
will be entirely brutal to Political
Ducks residing in Wash, D. c., and
splashing around in Congressional pud.
dies. Game laws should protect these
gentle mammals, but they do not. as
usual. Togo. I must know the hldeous
facts about this gunnery. Elope with
immediate quickness to Wash. D. c., and
interview each prominent Duck which
will so soonly quack with crippled toes.
Sec Senator Hale and other afflicted
towels. Require to know what shall be
done with them after they cease doing
so. And if they are to be left harshly
TO lives of desoIation, and if they are
disabled to make honest living here
afterwards, let me know and / shall OBJ
tain them jobs with Maud Adams in
Chantecler theatrical circles where
poultry is appreciated