davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20

fyin' smile
| Around this burg for quite a while;
Bout forty years or so.
He somehow allus aimed to please;
The kids all sat Upon his knees
And every doggone one of these
Would swear by Uncle Hank.
He settled all their little ills
And when they look pale round tie
gills
He'd recommend the YARDS and pills
That cured 'em in a yank.
He took care of the grown-ups, too,
In spite of all that they could do
There wa'ant a soul that could stay
blue
When he was in the room.
| When folks would hear the we'll
known click
| Upon the walk of his old stick
Grim trouble would vamoose right
quick;
1t wa'ant no plaza for gloom.
OF course he never made no pile
Ia cotton, wheat or steel or lie,
And didn't go in much for style
Or sole billed parlor talk.
But folks hung out the Welcome"
sign
And schemed to have him stay and
dine.
The u most always seemed to
shine
When he came up the walk.
He never won no great renown
Al -ro--f+ Jyn4u,oI nrfZiHa IF fnuf1
Historians won't set him down
For future folks to read.
But folks here is of n accord
That he's no stranger to the Lord
And sure and certain his reward
Will be complete, indeed.
y y
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
Seems to me the bachelors ought
all to be advocates of the single tax.
Elmer Jones says there's n thing
that he likes about Miss Amy
Stubs, the village milliner, and
that is his arm. Elmer has been
reading an almanac somewhere.
There isn't any use in a Teller
runnin' a half a mile down the rud
lookin' for trouble. If he sits per-
feetly still, it will come to him when
it gets ready, and it amt goin' to
pass by without noticin' him, either.
Outside a new red flannel shirt,
about tho most uncomfortable thing
in this world to is a set of
teeth that don't fit.
The days of the stem-winding oat-
mobile are numbered. A Teller
wont have to get out any more to
crank up, but there will be somie-
thing else to cuss about, SO it won't
make much difference.
One of the delightful sights is a
teller wearin' a silk hat and a yaIler
rubber r%afncoats to the tnayter
/ hear a Teller might Just as well
buy a taxicab as to rent one for two
or three hours.
1t is sometimes hard to tell
whether the ~progTessives are pro-
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20

gressin' for'ard or BACKYARD.
A lot of men get the reputation OF
bein' highbrows simply bekaz thes
haven't got much hair.
Amry Hicks amt took q drink
for nine years, but he has got 0
worse reputation for drinkin' nov
than he had before he quit His
friends all say: No, Amry don't
touch q drop now. but you orter see
him when he did. He was the VIII
lage drunkard."
There are two things that q fell
Ter seldom has when he needs 'em
bad. One thing Is a collar button
and the other is money.
I AND so 1T GOES.
Age willie. (Ain't he just too
cute?)
Aged 1o-willie Jones. Cts a
wonder his parents wouldn't do
something with that mean little
brat.)
Aged 15-Billy Jones. School
boy.)
Aged GOV. rockingham Jones,
(High School ~graduate.)
Aged 25-Jones. (Star half back
on College team.)
Aged 30-Mr. William F~rothing-
ham Jones. (His wife has bought
him some visiting cards.)
Aged 35-William F. Jones.
tNow he's a railroad clerk.)
Aged 40-W. f. Jones. (Presi-
dent of the road.)
Aged 45.-W. Jones. (Millien-
aire.)
Aged 5o-Big Bill Jones. (sen-
ator.)
Aged 70-old Man Jones. Clown
sage and weather prophet.)
AT OUR BOARDING HOUSE.
The Dyspeptic Boarder who was
always one week behind the light
house on his board bill, cleared his
throat and said, II would like to re-
mark"
81 know you would snapped the
landlady. You would always like
to remark something. It's the best
thing you do. But / want to give
you fair warning that don't have
to take back talk from anybody.
My family has money. | don't have
to run a boardin' house, you know"
MY dear madam" interrupted
the Dyspeptie Boarder, Il was only
about to remark about this roast of
beef
ooh, sure" broke in ~landlady,
nov you r going to roast the
victuals. Well, all l have to SAY is
that / am an honest woman and /
have to pay my bills on time. /
can't stand 'em off a week or two
at a clip like some boarders that
know of. OF course, | am not nam
ing no names, but there are parties
who would make more of a hit IL
they were as ~partickler about paying
their board as they are about their
food
but, my dear madam"
Don't dear madam me. You
all think you can impose upon me
because / am a woman. It's all that
can be expected of a passed. of shift
less men who wouldn't be hangin'
around a "a boarding house any
how, If they amounted to anything.
Don't talk to me. If there is any
body here who doesn't like his
meals, he can pay up and get OUT
II was only about to remark
said the Dyspeptic oarder, rhat this
roast beef is the finest | have had In
several years
Well" snapped the landlady,
why in tophet didn't you say SO in
the first placer"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20

FIRE Lab HuXEr
&E-Harffa1 Copper Works.
f-Msrkef aud Eheridan SITS
S4-gmsth Sd and c. n. r..
*e-Hfwh and Lewis SITS
sg-MadIson Aye and Paterson 81
ts-Markat 2 First ets.
1EEnntth ard Nigh Sta 81.
fe-New Brunswick Ave. and New 81
|1T-State and Smith SITS. a..
Standardization Ave. aud Hartford St
4B-ComxneFo~ And Front SITS,
s7-High and washington Ste.
EHState st and buckingham Ave
ss-stats ana wsyss sts
ss-Near United Lead Works
ke-Maurer.
ss-New brunswick Ave. and Elm 81.
s4-smith s. and Watson Ave.
72EFront and Smith SITS
f4-Kearnsy Ave. and Gordon St
-smith and Herbert sts g,
s5--Near City Hospital
s~s-Clevsiand and Brace AYES
s4-Lehigh Ave. a~nd-stanford 81
67-Amboy and Aall Aves
e4-NeviIIe and Johnxtone SITS. -
To send In an alarm open the door q
the box and pull down the lever oNCn
ONLY. and let go. Stay at box un'i
Special Calls.
1 tap-Brsak in circuit. Z aps
Ere under son.rHi. : 5spsf far wash aas
i Ias'1 nnI aa:' g. g. i lsLs.ll fSF fSsss
.lon Hook and Z L.ddss - Gsi fo sT In.
coin eoi I EnsTins e.. 1l-csn for Garfield
psrtnent. In case OF Inability 20
sop sound s s@ssaan sl4@ . s s1s sspspmasno +
0na session OF SCHOOL,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20
WHO ARE

VIM AIM SONlAAfoL -
How many are there of us who
are Socialists but are afraid to ac-
knowledge it? We admit that it is
pretty hard to define a Socialist in
the broad sense of the word. A So
scialist, strictly speaking is oneewho
believes iii the equal distribution of
wealth; no individual ownership
whatever, and everybody working
on an equal basis for the common
good of all, the results of their la
bors being turned into a general
fund from which the proceeds r
equally distributed SO that all will
snar alike. Under this definition,
we do not believe there are many
people who could be called Social
lists, In the strict sense of the word.
But in the broader sense. Social
ism Is claimed to embrace practical
IL anything suggesting government
control of public utilities, or regu-
lation of private or corporate
business. Theodore Roosevelt has
met the charge la the great
progressive work he has done
and Is doing for the country. In his
editorial on 1.-THE Trusts, the Peo-
pie, and the Square Deal" in the
current issue of The Outlook, an
editorial which a attracted nation
wide attention and which is endors-
ed everywhere as being full of sound
sense and logic, he says: Against
all such increase Of government reg
ulation the argument is raised that
1t would amount to a form Of Social
ism. This argument Is familiar; it
Is precisely the same as that which
was raised against the creation of
the Interstate Commerce Commits
sion, and Of all the different utilities
commissions in the different states
But Mr.. Roosevelt is not frightened
By being termed q Socialist, To
him what is right, is right, II that
be Socialism, make the most Of It.
one q the features Of the recent
election was h great Increase
everywhere In the socialistic vote,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20
mMINa HYENTe.

w-ta
Nav 24-Bau. washington Fife
Drum and Bugie Corps In Washing
ton hall.
Nov. 22-2s-24--Fair, auspices OF
the Presbyterian Ladies' In the chap
Oh.
Nov. 24-Dance, San Salvador
| Council, No. 299, knights of Column
bus.
Nov. 27-Dance and reception OF
the Church of Our Lady OF the
Most Holy Rosary, Auditorium.
Nov. 28-Dance and reception,
Ladies' Auxiliary, st Vincent de
| Paul, K. of G. rooms.
Nov. 2S-Harvest supper. Ladies
Aid Society of First Baptist church
in chapel.
Nov. 29-Strawride, Junior Glass
of High school.
Nov. 29-Dance and reception,
1arion Athletic Club, Auditorium.
Dec. 2-Smoker, Lyceum Club,
Pulaski hall.
Dec. 5-ConcerL by Madame Alb
bic Clarkson Totten and others, I'M
der auspices of the Baptist Brother
hood, in First Baptist church.
Dec. 7-S-Fair, Woman's club, st.
Stephens Danish Lutheran church.
Dec. 27@Cotillion dance, Raritan
Yacht Club.
1912
Jan. Dance, Goodwill Assoeia-
ton, Auditorium.
January 17-Leap year dance,
aaritan Yacht Club.
Jan. 22-Masquerade ball OF La
dies Society Bragg. Washington
hall.
Jan. 24-Sixtf. annual ball of Star
of Grace Lodge, No. II, Shepherds
of Bethlehem, Washington hall.
Jan. 26-Barn dance, Jefferson
Maccabees, Washington hall.
Feb. 21-Colonian dance, Raritan
Tacht C1u
Feb. 22-Dance, Washington
Hose and Chemical Company.
March 1s-Dance of the Brother
hood Trainmen, Auditorium.
May shakespeare masquerade,
Tartan Yacht Club.
May 30-Dance. Greek Societies,
Auditorium.
April 8-Dance, St. Patrick's AIli-
ance, Auditorium.
Sept. 2-Sangerbund, Biennial
session in this city.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20

But perhaps New Brunswick
would have taken more kindly to
Captain Clark II he had allowed
that city to have Deeper Waterways
League No. I. The county seat
clearly showed her jealousy of Pts
catawaytown In this regard.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20
gasyN.
ENF~s
SSN By RoY ko-nOuLToN.
GOOD Man

GOOD MAN
GONE
80 Uncle Hank Ia
gonet Dew tell
He has been aiiin'
quite a spell
And folks round
here will wish
him we'll
Wherever he
may go.
He e V let his
temper Spite,
But wore a salts
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20
FRISCO MAYOR HAS BIG TASK

1t is q big job that James Rolph, Jr,
the new mayo of San Francisco, for
merly an errand boy. has before him.
In taking charge Of the city govern
ment for the four-year term, during
which it must prepare for the Panama
Pacific exposition, he will be largely
responsible for the expenditure OF
800, 000, 900 for public works
And then, most difficult and most I'M
p~ortant Of all, perhaps, ne must clean
up San Francisco. That is. he mus
give the city such a moral cleaning
that it will present a decent appear
ance to the thousands of visitors from
all over the world.
BY his election Rolph becomes an
international figure with the expendi-
ture Of millions of dollars under his
direction, with the prosperity of a mil
lion people largely dependent upon his
policies, with the success OF the
worlds fair linked to his administra-
ton and with the good name OF San
Eraucisco in his keenfng
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20
LAURlER IS NOT TO QUIT

Il will remain in parliament as
leader of the opposition for some time
I should be a deserter OF my party II
I ran way now." said Sir Wtifrid Lsu
rier in Ottawa. Ont. Sir Wilfrid said
that he had intended to retire and, no
doubt, would do SO after some time,
but not Immediately. He ~undoubtsd-
~ viii go through the next session as
leader Of the opposition.
Sir Wilfrid Laurieg, defeated. and
perhaps q little dismayed. possibly
wishes now more than ever that he
had remained unknighted- He did not
desire the honor bestowed upon him
at the diamond jubilee. i would have
preferred to remaia plain WifEri0 Laa-
riee.e he has said = began M POI
Iitscal career under plain Alexander
Mckenzie. who began life as q stone
cutter, and who Iived and died plain
Alexander Mckenzie
An enemy charged him oae@ With
having fecssYea \ s4E scr : .
runt corporation d handsome veil fNs-
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20

This mornings papers told Of
several girls In training school In
Cincinnati who lived on even cents
. day; also q Terre Haute, Ind
family Of seven that lived on 90
a week. Probably they are all say
ing for Christmas.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20

Roph plugged his way through the grammar school and spent three
and onehaf years in completing the high school course doing odd jobs to
earn money to buy books and clothes RoIphs meteoric start in business
life began In January, 1900. when he formed a partnership with George u
Hind, a high school elassmates The W young mNn opened a little Office
near the water front and started in the shipping and commission business.
Kinds father gave the boys their tart and within a few months they were
dong business on their own account, which trebied and Quadrupled "a the
wears wen @
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20

wonder Il Governor Wilson can
see any favorable amer Id the great
Princeton victory over Yale Sakur-
3M%
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20

The EVENING NEWS goes fnto
mere homes in this vicinity than an
ather publication
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20

ROBERT JAIN.
Cornfcc and Ornamental Work.
Ekyliahts and Metal Ceiling Jobbina
promptly attended to.
Jefferson st. and New Brunswfck Avs
Tel No. s1o-Js Perth Arnboy.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-11-20

ADoLPH N. E0TRN,
Successor to Edward Koyss-
Mason Material, Cement stonss
Edisonsx Portland Cement.
Hixgenson's Piaztsr. Lehigh Coal
5ayrs Ava Perth Amboy ~. d
Tel. s46-W.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1911-07-20

An almost new surrey, used but
vsxy little and in fine condition, for
sale at a Bargain. For particulars
call at this Office. mioti
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1911-07-20

MEL linz
American Mines Company-Notice
is hereby given, by order of the
Boad of Directors that a special meet
ing Of the stockholders of American
Mines Company will be held at Room
900, Mechanics Institute Building,
81 Post Street, San Francisco, Cali
fornia, on Thursday. june 22, 1911, at
the hour of 2 O'Clock p. n.., for the
purpose of dissolving the American
Mines Company, pursuant to that
effect of a resolution adopted by the
Directors of American Mines Com
pany. at a special meeting held at.
Room 900, Mechanics Institute Build
ing. 81 Post Street, San Francisco,
California. on the 10th day of May,
1911 G. H. WAGGONER,
Secretary American Mines Com
papy. MO St
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1911-07-20

SALESMEN:-Makina small towns.
Just what you want for pocket side
line. Consigned goods, new. snappy
catchy. Quick shipments and prompt
commissions. Write for cider book
200 SIGEL St. CHICAGO. ILL
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1911-07-20
THE
WHITE IS KING

The BEST all-round Fam
lily Sewing Machine that can
be prodced. Made in both
ROTARY and
style.
The rotary makes both
Lock and Chain stitch. The
latest up to the minute steel
attachments with each ma
chine. Send name and add
ress for our beautiful H. T.
catalogue free.
White Sewing Machine Co.
1860 Market Street
SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIA
Az 73t
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1911-03-10
AIRIIE

Manley Bevens is i'll with the grip.
Mr.. Winterstein of Airlie is quite ill
Jack Rogers made a business triI
to Airlie Tuesday.
Mr.. Portwood's sale was largely at
tended and everything sold well.
Mrs. Peterson, of Parker, has been
visiting her sister, Mrs George Conn
Mrs. T. C. Ritner and Mrs. V. c.
Stats made business trip to Albany,
Monday
Ernest Williams, of independence,
attended the party at Portwood's and
returned Monday morning.
Mr.. and Mrs Fain Simpson have re-
turned to their logging camp on the
Luckiamute, and work has been re-
sumed there.
A large number of young people
gave surprise party in honor of Fl.
S. Portwood last Saturday night. They
played games out on the lawn until
about 10 O'Clock, and then continued
them in the house, and concluded the
evenings enjoyment with a fine sup
per- The following We're present:
Frances Harrington, Edna Conn,
Helen Conn, Ruth Simpson, Katie
Wienert, Virda Turner, Goldie Mateny,
Thelma Turner, Ernest Williams, Vern
Williams, Wayman Williams Willie
Staats, Asa Smith, Johnnie Weinert.
Willie Weinert, Lester Woods, Henry
Nendle, Vernon Alcorn, Pale Alcorn,
Roy Harrington, Donnie Turner.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1911-03-10
BALLSToN

Lynn Birks is in Portland on busi-
ness.
Isom Kenworthy has returned from
Hood River.
Miss Nora Jones, of Buell., visited
friends here Saturday and Sunday.
Grandma Birks has returned from a
visit with relatives in Albany.
G. w, Morgan went to Portland,
Monday, in search of employment,
Miss Rhoda Conner, who is teaching
at Hopewell, visited her parents here
Saturday and Sunday.
c. A. Ball and family have moved
up from Portland, and are occupying
his property west of town.
Mrs. Lou Boefert went to Astoria
Wednesday, where her husband is
working, for few days visit.
Miss Olive Williams, formerly
teacher of the primary grade here, has
been visiting friends in Ballston.
Mrs. N. E. Tufford returned to Port
land Tuesday, after few days visit
with her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. ]. II.
Butler.
Mrs. Henry Buell., who has been
here helping take care of her father,
Hathaway Yocum. has returned to her
home in Falls City.
The entertainment Friday was well
attended good program was rem
dered, after which refreshments were
served. An admission fee was charg-
ed at the door, and the proceeds will
be applied on the minister's salary.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1911-03-10
Zena ass Spring Valley

Lynn Purvine bought a new buggy
last week.
Dave Jerman returned from Silver.
ton, Friday.
Will and Donnel Crawford drove
over to Pratum, Sunday.
The coons have been making a raid
on the chicken roosts in this valley.
Is G. F. Felts, of Portland, has been
up, setting out some more trees in his
orchard here.
Harold White returned from Salem
Saturday and is now staying with
Fred Purvine.
The Lincoln Progress League met
again last Saturday, when they had a
long supper and short speeches.
Road Supervisor G. H. Crawford got
the grader in last week, and is getting
ready to grade some of the road.
Mrs Fred Carrothers returned from
the hospital at Salem Sunday, where
she had undergone a surgical opera
ton.
A number of people have the grip
here. DR.. Morris, of Salem, was out
Friday night to see Mrs. w. N. Craw-
ford and Frank Koch, both of whom
are sick.
Mrs. G. H. Crawford has been buys
ing some more eggs for Matching.
They are from prize winning Barred
Rocks, and she intends to build up
her flock. She already owns q fine lot
of blooded chickens, and has sold
many settings of eggs from them this
spring.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1911-03-10
GoosENECK

Will Newbill went to Salem, satur-
day.
Uncle Dave Meador was in Dallas
last week.
Roy Newbill trapped very large
eagle recently.
Mr., Hippol, of Sheridan, visited Mr..
Mcneil lately.
Mr.. Mcneil had very good hatch
with his incubator.
Mrs. Lenhard's cousin is staying
with her this week.
Dave Giger hauled load of freight
for d. G. Walker, Saturday.
F. M. Rowland has rented the J. A.
Knox farm. Mr.. Knox is staying
with Mr., Rowland.
Jim Sears went to Ballston Tuesday
Mr. and Mrs. Dave Meador were in
Buell. on business Tuesday evening.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1911-03-10

j. p. Neufeldt is planting potatoes
| A. r, Brown is shearing his sheep
P. P. Buhler is sick with rheuma-
tism.
John Diehm is shipping his cream
| to Portland.
John Diehm and son are spraying
their orchards.
Peter Diehm is ASSISTING his uncle,
G. G. Rempel, in butchering.
Frank Warkentine, of Salt Creek,
visited Jacob Neufeldt Sunday.
John Jones and son are doing quite
lot of tiling for d. d. Peters.
]. ]. Neufeldt and son were visitors
at the home of John Diehm, Sunday.
e. N..Keeney has over 500 little
chicks which were hatched from his
incubator.
A number Of iocks OF sheep in this
neighborhood have been troubled by
dogs lately.
Mrs. P. Friesen, daughter and little
son were visitors at the home of Mrs.
r. F. Friesen lately.
Rayma and George Brown and Alice
Buhler are going to school now that
the weather is nicer.
Mr. and Mrs ]. p NeufeIdt and
daughter. Anna. were Sunday guests
at p. Edigers in Dallas.
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. KIeiwer left for
Canada. after a months stay here.
They will return by way Of American
Falls. Idaho. where they will visit his
brother, Frank.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1911-03-10
HARMONY

The revival meetings will continue
until Sunday.
Hugh Guttry is setting out 20 acres
of apple trees.
The farmers of this neighborhood
are pruning and spraying their or
chards.
Randall Buell. and Mrs. Elmer Blan-
chard were Ballston visitors last Wed
nesday.
Mr.. Hayes and Allen Mclean spent
Sunday at the home of j. E. Brown,
in Sheridan.
Mr.. and Mrs. Thomas Dickey spent
Sunday at the home of her mother.
Mrs. ]. l. Guttry.
Ivan Dickey has moved into Elmer
Blanchard's house, which was recent
ly vacated by Jake Hinshaw.
The basket social given by the
school last Friday was a success. The
sale of the baskets brought Ss4
News has been received here of the
recent death of Isaac Fades, who was
returning to his home in Washington
from a visit with relatives here. He
was entering the depot in Seattle to
buy ticket. when he was stricken
with paralysis. and his death followed
three hours later.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1911-03-10
cola

Mr.. Vernon, of Salem, pruned
Thomas w. Brunks orchard the frs
of the week.
Thomas Holman has been putting
out fruit trees in the field just south
of Harry Hackers
Earl Brunk attended a party given
by the Willamette University fresh
men in Salem last Saturday night.
Last Saturday night about SO of the
nearest neighbors of M. I. Capps gave
him surprise party The evening
was spent in playing amusing games
and in social conversation, and the oc-
casion was enjoyed by everyone pres
ent. About II o'clock an appetizing
lunch was served. The party was COM
posed of: r. Brunk and family, j. r.
Sehaffer and family, Mr.. and Mrs. G..
W. Chapman, Grandma Chapman, Mr..
and Mrs. e. L. Harris and son, James
Allen and family, Warren Allen, the
Reverend A. Byers, T. A. Allen, Mabel
and Bertha Allen, Mr.. and Mrs. C. L.
Davis, John Gosser, Mr.. and Mrs. r.
w. Hogg, Mr., and Mrs. E. T. Hamer
and Marjorie, Fred Miller, Mr.. and
Mrs. Thomas w. Brunk and family.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1911-03-10
MOUNTAIN VIEW

Lonzo Libby Is sick with the mumps-
Mrs. Frank Wilson Is sick with the
grip.
Nellie Adams spent sunday at her
home.
Ferne Runcorn is grating for
Pearce Brothers
Ammon Grice visited Lester Savage
Sunday afternoon
Rosa Grice spent sunday afternoon
with Lottie Cain.
The farmers are beginning 20 spray
their orchards here.
Mr.. Bouhleur and son Albert were
in Portland last week
Ars Kubin has been SEX with the
grin. but is improving
Victor Lynch spent Sunday after
noon with sam Chapman
Mr.. Kimbau Be- setting out about
three acres of Eooseberries
james Best butchered three me
rorkers Tor market Monday
Glenn soufhuick spent sunday AZ