davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
THE HANDY MAN.

His Job of Vanishing the Door Was
Not HowIing Success.
Mr.. Brewster thought his front door
looked as though coat of varnish
would do it no harm and resolved to
do it himself to save the expense Of a
painter.
Finding an old golden sirup' tin III
the yard, he went off to the shop for
some best oak varnish." He placed
it in the pantry for the night and was
up early next morning and by half
past II had got the door finished.
81 don't like it now it's DONE" he
said to his wife.
Its bad varnish," replied she.
He's sold you the wrong sort of
stuff"
He thought so, too, and went back
to the shop. taking what was left with
him.
'This is funny varnish you sold me, y
said he. Its dull, sticky stuff"
After examining it the shopman said
''This is not what sold you. This is
sirupr'
1t then dawned on him that he had
got hold of the wrong tin, and he
went back home to explain to his
wife, who at once said: Good gra-
cious James! And I've made the pud
ding with the other tinful!' Then
after moments pause, you'll dine
today on roast mutton and varnisf
uddingw-PearsOn's Weekly.
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16

TIE DOGS FOLLOWED THE HOT SCENT.
panions. His room was on the ground
floor. almost adjoining the place where
the congenial spirits were gathered.
The master of hounds conceived
plan for bringing Morgan back into
the circle. He brought in the drag,
trailed it through the clubrOOm, into
the bedroom of Morgan, across his bed
and out the window. Then he I'M
leashed twenty couples of hounds.
They followed the hot scent full cry.
giving tongue as they leaped upon
and over the sleepers bed and crowd
ed through the window. History does
not relate what Morgan said. 1t is as
serted, however, that he rejOined the
group he had left, somewhat bruised
and cut. but decidedly wide awake
New York Post.
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
RAILWAY DETECTIVES.
They Trace Those Who Steal or d.
stroy Property of the Road.

The secret service is a hard game
to tackle. but, like all kinds of work.
1t has it's easy jobs. One of them is
that of special agent for railroad.
The agent is supposed to trace those
who steal or destroy railroad property.
When he is notified that trunk or
other article Of baggage is missing he
finds out by its number from where It
was sent and follows it on the books
to the last station where it has been
checked. Then he notifies the police
in the vicinity between the station
where the baggage was last checked
and the station where II should have
been checked. The police get busy,
and probably the property is soon re-
covered and the thieves put In jail.
The baggage is then turned over to
the special agent, who notifies the rail-
road official that he has recovered the
stolen goods
If O freight car is robbed the spe-
cial agent pursues the same tactics
He finds out where the car was last
sealed and the place where the car was
reported as having its seal broken
The police or constables in the coun-
try between the two points are noti-
fed. and if they fail to capture the
robbers the railroad may never hear
again Of the stolen goods. Wherever
destruction has occurred to railroad
property it is usually police officers
who trace and arrest those guilty.
However. the special agent must
be a keen Judge of human nature and
with sufficient tact to make himself
popular with the police officers in his
territory. Usually he is an old time
detective and is well enough acquaint-
ed with detectives and police through
out the country to obtain results where
an amateur would fail.
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
DEFECT THAT WAS
EASILY REMED!ED
Amusing Break Of an Uncut
tured Theatrical Man.

The question of the New theater's
fame as the echo" reminds me Of the
we'll authenticated incident in the the
atrical career Of the late John Stet-
son. On one occasion, while he was
managing the Union Square theater in
New York, an important star complain
ed that the acoustics were abominable
and that he didn't see how he was to
give an effective performance under
the circumstances. StetsOn, although
he had been identified with the Globe
theater in Boston. was not overbur-
dened with Boston culture, and the
term acoustics" was not included In
his picturesque and unique vocabulary.
but he surmised that it was something
tangibls-sOme sort Of a stage prop"
However. as he wasn't quite sure. he
looked the star straight in the face
and asked:
what is it you're kicking about?"
Acoustics, Mr.. Stetson! You've got
the worst kind of any theater ! ever
played in"
"Why. man." said Stetson-"why
didn't you say so before? I'll speak to
the stage manager at once. and before
the curtain goes up tonight I'll have
him beg. buy. borrow or steal the best
kind Of 'cowsticks' to be had on any
stage In New York. ALBERT Ellery
Bergh in Columbian Magazine.
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16

tive-tonic that does not gripe-effec-
tive and yet so mild that babies can
take it. Its tonic ingredients invig-
crate the body and strengthen the
stomach and bowel muscles so that
they again do their work naturally.
If you have been a victim of salts,
pills and strong cathartics you will
discard them when you once use
Syrup Pepsin.
You can buy a fifty cent or one
dollar bottle of any druggist, but be-
fore doing so you may want to try il
free. If so, send your address to DR.
Caldwell and he will promptly for
ward a free sample bottle. Then, be.
ing convinced, do as others are doing
and buy it in the regular way of your
favorite druggist.
For the free sample address DR.. w
B.. Caldwell, 402 Caldwell building
! Monticello, Ill.
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
Drawing the Disease Out.

The Chinese have a curious custom
Of trying to cure sick man. A friend
of the patient obtains straight
branch with a few leaves and twigs
at the end. On this he hangs mirror
Of polished steel, and under that one
of the sick mans coats. Then he goes
for short walk, priest in the mean
time performing ceremony. The
roat, being carried In this way, is sup
posed to draw the disease from the
4ufferer.
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
THE JUDGE ERRED.
His Mistake Clearly Explained by the
Old CoIored Norman.

Old Coiored woman.
The judge of the juvenile court,
leaning forward in his chair. looked
searchingly from the discreet and
very ragged piccaninny before his
desk to the ample and solicitous form
of the culprit's mother. why do
you send him to the railroad yards to
pick up coal?' demanded his honor.
"You know 1t is against the law to
send your child where he will be In
jeopardy of his life
deed, tedge, 1 doesn't send i'm.
l nebber has sent i'm, deed
Doesn't he bring home the coalY'
interrupted the judge impatiently.
But. jedge, l whips i'm, ledge,
cherry time he brings it. 1 whips de
little rapscallion till he cayn't set,
deed does
The careful disciplinarian turned her
broad. shiny countenance reprovingly
upon her undisturbed offspring, but
kept conciliatory eye for the judge.
"You burn the coal he brings, do
you not?' persisted the judge.
Burns ll-DuruS lI-COSe L DuIHS II.
Wy, jedge, has to git it out OBJ de
way"
"Why don't you send him back with
it," His honor smiled insinuatingly
as he rasped out the question.
'Send i'm back, ledger exclaimed
the woman, throwing up her hands in
gesture of establishment. "Send i'm
back! wy, jedge, amt yo' jest done
been told me didn't oughter send my
chile to no sech dange'some and
jeopardous place?'-Youth's Compan-
iOn
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
Record For Size.

Senator La Toilette, himself one of
the most direct of speakers, has nat
ural horror of speeches Of the RAM
bling, boring kind.
In a recent session a certain senator,
after celebrating In a speech Of two
hours statement that would have
been better made in a speech of two
minutes, concluded:
"And that's the situation. gentle
men, In a nutshell"
Gracious" said Senator La Fol-
lette. soto vOce. "what a nutv'
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
new TALES
THAT ARE TOLD
The Huntsman's Awakening.

A story told many times at Meadow
brook in it's week Of polo activity con-
Germs Edwin D. Morgan. horseman
and devotee of sport. whose estate is
at Wheatly Hills. not far off Morgan
had been entertaining the assembled
company in the club one night before
a hunt, but finally had gone to bed
despite the protestations of his COM
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
Just So.

"He doesn't really love you. He's
after your money"
"But If his love were not genuine
how could he put so much fervor into
his wooingy'
ooh. man can dig up considerable
fervor when he has to marry money or
60 to NOTWITHSTANDING
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
Fertile Socotra.

Socotra, large island In the Indian
ocean. Is one of the least known Of
the inhabited parts Of the world. 1t is
mountainous, but very fertile, and In
ancient times was famed for franklin
cense and myrrh, aloes. dragons blood
and spices. But now Sumatra and
South America produce more dragons
blood.
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
Rich Man Spoke to Him.

zone Of my acquaintance is much
interested in the Chagrin Falls Hunt
club and is an onlooker at most Of the
functions Of that organization" says
Ward Jackson. ''The other night he
said to me, with some show Of enthu-
siasm. that gradually he was getting
acquainted with the club members.
"'Why. Dan Hanna came right up
and spoke to me today he said exult-
antly.
Is that sof replied. What did
he say to your
He said, "Don't get too near that
horse there, or he'll kick your darned
head ofK."fe-Cleveland Leader.
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
ln.ide Information.

"Dear SIR" wrote the man who owed
his tailor and had received letter ask
Ing for payment of the bill, "your let
ter was extremely impertinent, and !
return It to you unopened.S
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16
Revenoed.

Johnny, have great news for you.
I am going to marry your sister. What
do you think about that?"
II think it serves her right."-Hous-
ton Post
The Adair County news., 1911-08-16

Riches do not consist in the pos
session. but In the use Of things.--
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
Special Service

Rev. G. G. Rollit, of Minneapolis,
Minn., secretary of the sixth mis-
sionary department Of the Episcopal
church, will visit st. James church
next Sunday august 2O), preaching
both morning and evening.
Services will be as follows:
Holy communion, 7.3O a. Ill.
Morning prayer and sermon, 1l.OO
q. m.
Evening service, 8p. m.
A special choir will furnish the
music.
Rev. Mr.. Rollit Is the official rep
resentative of the General Board of
Missions in the sixth department,
embracing the states Of Minnesota,
Iowa, North and South Dakota, Ne
braska, Wyoming, Montana and Colo
RADIO.
Everyone is invited to attend.
Saturday evening the men Of the
congregation are asked to meet Mr..
Rollit informally at the rectory. Sun
day afternoon at $50 the ladies of the
Guild are asked to meet at the church
when Mr.. Rollit will address them.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
Burial Of Mr.. Seymour

The funeral services over the re-
mains of the late Carroll L. Seymour,
whose death was chronicled in last
weeks HERALD, took place from the
Methodist church Sunday afternoon.
Interment in Highland cemetery.
The funeral was held under the au-
spices of the employees of the Riley
Merritt company and the Petrolite
employees, at which camps Mr.. Sey-
mour has worked past two or three
years, and was held in high esteem
on account of his gentlemanly ways
and kind, considerate disposition.
Fred Riley had charge of arrange
ments, and Thomas & Settler, under
takers, did their work well.
Deceased was native eff New
York state and about flfty-six years
of age. He was "a widower, but had q
son living in the east. An effort il
being made to locate the boy.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
Tariff Revision Inevitable

The truth is that the people of the
United States are determined to re-
wise the tariff. The more swiftly the
process proceeds the better 1t will be
for all interests concerned. Tariff
boards can be useful in their modest
statistical way, but they are of only
slight consequence In an emergency
like that which now exists. As these
pages have more than once set forth,
the taiiff-commission method Is a
Republican proposal rather than a
Democratic, and it presupposes a
gradual, scientific reduction of duties
from the standpoint Of the Republic
can protectionist policy. The Repub-
licans held out this olive branch to
the voters of the country last fall.
and the voters rejected it with an en-
phasis that could hardly be mistaken
except by those of dull wit. The peo-
pie of the country believe that there
Is quite enough information about
the production and cost of wool
and wooden goods to justify tar
iff action. Their are very few peo-
pie who believe that as matters now
stand the tariff board,-with its stat
istical tables which are to be held In
reserve until next December,-could
affect the course of practical legisla-
tlon or divert the current of public
opinion, as respects the wool tariff
From 1.-The Progress of the World, :"
In the American Review Of Reviews
for August.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
More New Settlers

Among the many new settlers OF
the past few weeks none are more
welcome than party which came in
from the San Luis valley, some days
ago. In the party were Ira Durham
and family and Mr.. Dunham's mo-
ther; John and James Crook and
their families.
These people are looking for loca-
tions, and as they are very desirable
people, we hope they find what they
want.
Mrs. Ira Dunham is sister of Mrs.
NJ. w. Covert.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
GOOD NEWS for
HOMESTEADERS
Ed Taylor Comes to the Aid Of the
"Poor Devil" in Very Help
full Way

The following letter shows that
Hon. Edward T. Taylor, Colorado's
able and hard working congressman
at large, is still at his good work in
the interest of the people he repre-
sents:
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, U. b.,
WASHINGTON, d. O., Aug. II, III.
Hon. James Lyttie, Editor, The Herald,
Meeker, Colorado,
MY DEAR SIR-In order that the
homestead settlers may as soon ~
possible know definitely the terms
OF the homesteaders' leave Of absence
bill passed by the House yesterday.
and which will undoubtedly be sign
ed by the president Monday, and - l
reported the bill from the Public
Lands committee and had charge Of
1t on the floor Of the House during it's
passage, write to give you the ex-
act language of the act, so far ~ 1t
pertains to Colorado, which is a. fol-
lows:
"That all persons who have here
tofore made homestead entries In the
Denver, Pueblo, Sterling, Hugo, Ia
mar and Glenwood Springs land dis
tricts in the state of Colorado, =
are hereby relieved from the neces-
sity of residence and cultivation up
on their lands from the date Of sp-
proval of this act to April 18th, 1913;
provided, that the time Of actual ab-
sence during the period named shall
not be deducted from the full time Of
residence required by law"
You will observe that this law ap-
plies to all homesteaders who have
made filing and have not yet proven
up, no matter whether they have yet
made settlement on their claims or
not. They are unconditionally re-
lieved from all residence and culti-
vation between now and the 18th Of
next April. They are not required
to make any application to the land
office, or give any notice to anybody.
They can just pack up and leave at
once and come back any time on sor
before the 18th of next April. But
they must all remember that If they
do take advantage Of this law and
leave their claims any time between
now and the 10Th of next April that
they will have to make up their fall
five years time Of residence before
they can make final proof.
The way the bill passed the Senate
it did not include any part of Colo
RADIO; but after wiring the various
land offices included six out Of the
ten land districts in our state, includ-
ing the one in which your county is
situated.
Thanking you for such mention of
this matter as you may deem its i'm
portance merits, 1 remain.
Yours very respectfully,
EDWARD T. TAYLOR.
while this section hasn't suffered
from drouth like the plains region,
we have had two dry seasons, which
added materially to the struggles of
the average homesteader, even in
this favored section, most of whom
are poor people, and no doubt all will
duly appreciate Ed Taylor's work in
their behalf. The homesteader Of
limited means can now go out and
work for nearly eight months; Uncle
Same will see to it that body
bothers his or her claim during alb
sence.-ED.l
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

Now is the time when the averaeg
citizen is having dreams of the sea-
shore, mountains and lakes, or an
onting along the shady banks Of some
ripping stream. An outing taken rs
q restful vacation, makes for better
and more active life. Getting away
from the daily grind of worry and
work gives both health and a better
appreciation Of the attractions and
joys which our own hometown
holds.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
Seemed to Give Him a New
Stomach

"I suffered intensely after eating
and no medicine or treatment 1 tried
seemed to do any good" writes H..
M. Youngsters, Editor Of The Sun,
Lake View, Ohio. 1.-THE first few
doses Of Chamberlain Stomach and
Liver Tablets gave me surprising re-
lief and the second bottle seemed to
give me new stomach and perfectly
good health" For sale by all deal
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

A tramp, in a way has the right
philosophy of living. He accepts
the earth a. his, with all Of Its boun-
ty, beauty and freedom. There is
Just one flaw In his creed: he has for
gotten the limiting clause which
makes it necessary to join the army
Of workers II one would enjoy to the
fnll all of the blessings in which the
earth abounds.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
Will cure your cold
BROMO.FERRIN
while you sleep.
Accuaed Of Stealing.

e. e. Chamberlain, Of Clinton, Me.
boldly accuses Bucklen's Arnica
Sslve Of stealing-the sting from
burns or scalds-the pain from sores
of all kinds-the distress from boils
or piles. "It robs cuts, corns, bruises,
sprains and injuries Of their ter
ror," he says, ''as healing remedy
its equal don't exist" Only Csc at all
druggists.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
BOUGHT AND
SOLD

The Harp-Peterson Company will
buy your herd or sell you . herd.
Will contract to buy steers or stock
cattle for customers. We know what
Ia required for the White River val
ley range and are prepared to meet
all demands. Address
The Harp.Peterson Co.,
Meeker, Colorado
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
Council Meeting

Town council met Monday evening.
Present, Mayor Reynolds, Trustees
Bowen, Graham, Hulett and Strehl-
ke; absent, Trustees Ball and Sal
mon.
Minutes last meeting read and ap-
proved.
Marshal Nichols reported follow
ing collections: Fines, $22; licenses,
$7s5.
Bills allowed on water fund:
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

A we'll known Des Moines woman
after suffering mise.ably for two
dsys from bowel complaint, was cur
ed BY one dose Of Chamberlain's Col
ic. Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy.
For sale by all dealers.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
A whole lot Of people don't have
to wait for the silly season to be fool
Much Appendicitis in Meeker

Many persons In Meeker have
chronic appendicitis and mistake 1t
for stomach or bowel trouble. II you
have wind in the stomach or bowels,
sour stomach or constipation, try sim
pie buckthorn bark, glycerine, etc.,
as compounded In Adler-i-ka, the
new German appendicitis remedy.
A SINGLE DOSE Of this simple
remedy will relieve you-you will be
surprised 1t the quick action. THE
MHEKnR DRUG Co.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

Berrying, fishing and h / g
parties, up the river, seems to have
taken up most of our space twenty
five years ago.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

An ordinary case of diarrhoea can.
as q rule, be cured by . single dose Of
Chamberlain's G Collie, Cholera and Di-
arrhoea Remedy. This remedy has
no superior for bowel complaints.
For sale by all dealers.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
Io Coal Consumers

We have contracted with Henry
Wagner of Oak Creek, to run Black
Diamond mine, and will have coal In
chute ut all times.
THE WHITE RIVER LUMBER Co.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
A King Who Left Home

A King Who Lett Home
Set the world to talking, but Paul
Mathulka, of Buffalo, N. Y. says he
always keeps at home the king Of all
laxatives-Dr. Kings New Life Pills
and they are blessing to all his
family. Cure constipation, headache
indigestion, dyspepsia. Only 25c at
all druggists.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

Buy 1t now. Now is the time to
buy . bottle of Chamberlain's Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy. 1t
Is almost certain to be needed before
summer is over. This remedy has no
superior. For sale by all dealers.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

A cloud burst at Rangely caused a
rise of four and . half feet in White
river in few minutes.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19
Thirty Years Together

Thirty years Of association-think
Of 1t. How the merit Of good thing
stand out In that time-or the WORTH
lessness Of . bad one. SO there's no
guesswork In this evidence Of ThOs.
Ariss, Concord, Mich, who writes
II have used DR.. Kings New Discov-
cry for 80 years, and Its the best cold
and cough cure I ever used" Once
II nnds entrance In home you can't
pry It out. Many families have used
it for forty years. les the most in
fallible throat and lung medicine on
earth. Unequaled for lsgrippe, ssth-
may hay-fever, Group, quinsy or sore
lungs. Price 5Oc, $l.0O. Trial bottle
free. Guaranteed by all Druggists.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

See the new Star wind mill, sold
by A. E. Lytle. These mills are per-
fectly self-governing; automatically
throwing themselves out Of gear; /;
adjusted to any velocity of wind.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

A strong kick was registered again
st increasing depredations by Colo
rows band of Utes.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

August Il, lsss-
THE HERALD enters on its second
year.
Link Tagert was taking in the
town sights.
Harry Miner left to buy dry goods
for the Hugus store.
Mrs. Wright was making big inn
provements in the Meeker hotel.
Work on Watson's store building
(now Oldland's) was commenced.
A party Of railroad surveyors were
In town. Needless to say, nothing
came Of 1t.
A county road was laid out from
town up over the mesa to J. b. Chris
ties ranch.
Simp Harp was credited with bring.
ing in the biggest load Of hay Of the
season-2670 pounds.
Frank Sheridan's new. residence,
noted as the finest in town, was near
ing completion. 1t is now the home
of the Ambrose Oldland family =
much modernized.
An item records: "Luke L. Devlin
had ranch surveyed on Little Bea-
YER Thursday" LAS Luke is still
with US, a prosperous and honored
farmer, just east of town, we'll get
him on the stand some day and make
him tell why he didn't become the
pioneer dry farmer Of the valley
Ed
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

Various reports read.
It was ordered that fifty cents a
month, beginning with August, be
charged the users of washing ma
chine motors.
Town treasurer submitted report
on water works and general funds.
Trustee Salmon was appointed pur-
chasing agent for all town supplies
rot now already provided for by re-
solution or ordinance.
Adjourned:
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

The Crook brothers, John an d
James, are doing the cement work
in the basement compartments of the
Hugus block.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1911-08-19

Truth, like silver, must be not only
IN I'D, but also refined, separated
dross, before its value can be
abUreciated.-P Russell.