Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1911-07-26

elecuti0nary n u m :
bers every day.
But that could hardly have been the
reason cause folks would have had to
be in attendance several sessions before
they'd noticed that deficiency, and not
iced that the first days attendance
weren't as good as the lasts. Some say
that because this Teller or that Teller
was on the committee in charge certain
other interests wouldn't have nothin' to
do with assembly. I wouldn't accept
that reason, cause there isn't huff sech
dwarfed pin-heads in the community to
make much difference in the aggregate
says that, and some don't say nothin'
at all. But I guess old Malindy came
bout as near to the bulls-eye as any,
when she says that the real cause fer
the lack of interest was cause they
didn't serve coffee and doughnuts after
the program. .@
Now guess the old lady is bout
right. A man'll even sit fer whole
hour and listen to 'somethin' useful and
elevatin' If he knows he's agoin' to get
a thimble of ice cream and few crumbs
of sponge cake latter the program.
The way to mans pocket book is
thru his heart, and "the way to a mans
heart is thru his stomach. That's
why when Malindy wanted money fer
new lace curtains fer the front-room
winders she went and roasted q spring
chicken and fixed me up fine dinner
afore she preached the subject. And
by gum, with that roasted pullet resting
rfoI ,1xy ON, oiz anrp11nsf
refuse, even tho I knew we needed a
new curry-comb fer the old mare worse
an we needed the curtains.
No. If you want to please man,
feed him. Give i'm something to eat
Good coffee is somethin' the ordinary
mortal understands and 'preciates.
Now jest to illustrate my pint. Last
fall we had one of the finest speakers
in the state to lecture at our church one
night No admission was charged-only
a: collection was to be taken. Well,
the attendance was so small you could
most count the audience on your fin
gers. I never felt more Inundated.
But here's dollars to New. Orleans mo-
lassee cookies that If they'd advertised
light refreshments after the lecture"
there wouldn't been standin' room left
fer the leanest man in the county, my
self included. AS a matter Of fact the
ladies aid gave social bout the same
week and took In over $1,000. There
you got it-three-hundred-s peo-
pie come out to get cup of coffee;
not half hundred to hear fine
lecture.
The church societies all over recog-
nize the coffee-pot as the best attraction
yet. They are all Gavin In to her SOW
eriegnty whether they want to or not.
If money is needed fer a new church
organ or fer the heather mission or fer
the deficit in the minister's salary, it's
fer the women bless 'em, to bake up g.
lot of rusks and sech like and make the
call, Everybody Cordially Invited"
And we all come. We gulp down our
coffee and cough up our dime. Maybe
we say word to our next neighbor at
the table, maybe we don't. But we new
err tire. We don't even pull the old pot
in on dry-dock fer spell. Year out
and year in we keep this up! Eat, eat,
and then eat again!
Or, you let a niger show come to
town. Won't it get a full house? I've
seen people so crazy to get into Kick
apoo medicine opera, that they have
most tore off the siding off the hall
tryin' to get peek thru the winder at
stunt inside.
Why, land sakes! That circus in
Willmar the other day took in more
money on one day than the Assembly
did on the ten. -..s
You talk bout intelligence! Talk
bout our schools and our magnificent
educational system! Shucks! Any
thoughtful man has got to admit when
he comes right down to the real thing
that goes to make up character and
culture that the generation of sturdy
pioneers which is now passing away
was in the main more intelligent than
their sons and daughters be, despite
their lack of modern educational advan.
| tages. Their past strict old-fashioned
| trainin' won't hardly let 'em down tt
the Mutt and Jef'' level; their topi.
Of conversation was mite higher thar
the frivilous society gossip; their am
billions a little above wearin' a hobbl'
skirt or rollin' a cigarette; and thef1
readin' some heavier than the prize
fight news or the Sunday comic supple
ment. I may be mistaken about thi
generation. I hope I am.
I can see how the simple old-fashion
ed church member who hears goo
sermon every Sunday by his local pas
tor may take the narrow view of it tina
that is sufficient and that he doesn'
need to come in closer touch with tn
problems of the country, the question:
Of the day, or the various other e1e
ments and opinions which go, to maxi
up our great nations development; blu
I can't for the life of me see how thes'
other wise fellers can neglect to sup
port the Chautauqua. can't get tina
into my noodle folks; no sir, I can't
What is their theory of the aim ant
purpose of community life, anyway?
Now, I'm not condemnin' the circus
or the church social. The coffee socia
is a good thing and fills need. Gu
world is SO busily busy nowadays tina
we seldom take time to visit one an
other and get acquainted as we shoulG
Man is social being. We get lonesom
and at once take this opportunity o
gettin' together with our fellows in
social way fer few minutes and Incl
IDENTIFY give few cents to somethin
useful. No wrong in that. It's good.
AS to the circus. I've got to admi
there never was another man in Who'll
yankedom as enjoys a good circus bet
ter an yer Uncle 81. A clever clow1
has made me laugh till the ten-penn!
as held my trouser-band was bent Xix
a clevis. A good laugh Is the best toni
fer tired nerves yet. Malindy and m
has been to circus several times, and t
be honest about it, we didn't go merel
to take the kids to see the elephan
either. But what makes me sore an
can't pull together in the support Of
moral and intellectual uplift like tn
~ +. fhof 1o~d}~yn1,