davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1911-08-03

Der warst var '.ssia. SertaaR uurssa
676 Sbls. CiffiHeris Sinissss Gesss saF
Der Safts bon 9l33 per Gaao1
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
Polly Hitchin-Her Book

somethink, Then there is wilyum the kid,
and that's all, except I'd forgotten TO say
I'm Polly, and by rights l ought to come
next to Peter.
Well. we had been saving up for weeks
and weeks TO buy mum a Christmas pres
ent Of a sofy with Cd. tied up safe in the
tail Of Peters shirt. We couldn't get the
sofy after all and when we got home we
was feeling Just miserable, and our Sd. was
only bump for Peter TO sit on, We soon
saw that poor mum was put out over
something too and she said there being
no work she had been obliged 10 put her
wedding ring in, and what she got had all
gone for the rent, so there wasn't scarcely
any tea after all. Me an Peter both had
the same idea quite sudden like, and we
sneaked out and fairly raced off to old Mr..
James. He makes wedding rings on pur-
pose for all the ladies to wear whilst their
are In. He makes them out OF French
pennies, and the copper shines up some
thing lovely, every bit as bright as gold,
only inside you can see all the pattern.
He was rarely surprised TO see us, but
when we got out 4d he chose a sidney
beauty, and you should just have seen my
mothers face when we came back and put
in on-she thought II was the beautifuliest
present she'd ever had; but she doesn't
know as we have got sd. left for another
present.-Marjory Hardcastle In Corahil
Magazine.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

Peter says my diary won't never get the
prize. cause, I'VE begun all wrong, and
proper books always start with saying who
you are; perhaps Il viii count now.
Dad Is father, and his name in Mr..
SEitohin. He used to make bicycles, but
something went wrong through no fault Of
his and. now he's always out OF work and
we are always getting poorer, Then there's
mum-she's Mrs. Hltchin. and she makes
trousers with a machine all day. When /
was telling. her about the beautiful lady,
my. mother said she didn't believe she knew
az how a pair Of trousers was made; but
can't believe a. great lady like her don't
know little thing Ike that. even though
her 'usband has got regular work, so she
don't have to make 'em
Peter is the eldest; when he leaves school
he's going 10 be errand hoy, but he says
it must be at a place that gives him a
uniform cap you feels worth so much more
In Uniform; besides, an the old ladies
chooses you out to ask the way so you
can get e&try pennies like that. Then
comes the terror. His real name is Chry-
session.. after the church, but that is a
name nobody cant ever say Though when
dad Is real mad with him he do can him
Chrystanthefnum) but It's generally Chris
for short. or the terror. He's not exactly
wicked. and az course, he's straight. like
we al are; bnt he's always ADDING Of
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
Wisdom from Babes

rhree-year-Qld John was told to always
80 right 10 sleep as soon as he had said
his pray rs, which mostly consisted OF the
Lords prayer.
One night he called TO his mamma ana
asked permission TO say just one little
word Ills mother granting IT, he said:
Mamma. just, want TO change Our
Father around a little bit I am getting
tired OF dahy bread. Can't I ask for dairy
Try cakes.'
The 6-ycar-old child was sewing. when
her older sister asked "Why don't you
use a PATTERN" The little miss replied
with a dignity greater than her knowledge:
- don't need pattern l sew by ear"
Alice, aged g. was tearfully rebelnous.
and her mother was having trouble to Sc
cure Obedience There Is 10 use talking. "
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
On the Street Car

Across the car-the sort of car that has
one long seat down the sides-you can see
all sorts of things, says the Dallas News.
You start at the beginning and see a
small boy looking out of the front window
at the motorman.
Next him is a fat man, taking up enough
room for two, and tapping over as It
were on the people on either side of him.
Next to him a very thin man with glasses
hooked over his ear is reading a paper
without them, and adjoining this thin man
is a lady. She is plainly fixed up for a
call. She wears a hat smothered with
ostrich feathers, and as you look at her
her eyes meet yours. Does her gaze fall
modestly? Nary a fall. She stares CON
temptuously at yOu-you worm-and as
your own gaze falls she hurriedly pulls
her dress down so you cant see whether
she has on low-cut shoes or not.
Immediately opposite you is a healthy
middle-class woman with two healthy mid
dle-class infants. They are both under
years of age, we know, because she told
the conductor so, and the conductor turned
and winked at us.
One of the infants is trying TO get the
stylish ladys ostrich feathers and the
other is standing on the cOat-tails Of a
young man sitting next, and is trying to
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

reach the push button that stops the car.
Then a bunch OF people gets into the
car, and one Of them squeezes into the
already crowded seat OH, see the change!
The man at the end is pushed into the
man ahead Of him and he - damned
into the infant trying TO reach the bell.
The infant hits its mothers hat and
knocks It askew.
The mother throws her head aside and
a hatpin jabs the other child which sets
up yell and grabs--oh, yes, oh, joy
the nearest ostrich plume Of the stylish
lady.
See the stylish lady Insulted? Oh, Sc
little gods and ginger cookies, no, the word
doesn't fit. She throws herself sideways
like tarpon feeling the hook, and tears
the newspaper from the readers hands.
He rises, scowing bitterly and knocks a
bundle off on the floor Oh, was II china
1t was. 1t is, but not the china 1t was.
He steps the foot of the fat man,
and the fat man, Jerking his elbow back,
pokes the small boy, who yells. How
pleasant IT is to ride in crowded car.
See the happy folks opposite All men
are brothers. We know 1t now having
brothers OF our own, and knowing that they
act just as these people are acting Let US
off at the next street, conductor
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

said, "Oh, no--indeed no. He said.
Dye know / asked 10 meet you? Say,
you're stunner--a regular queen, you
know" / said, my conformation may be
all right but T kick" HIS eyes bulged, and
he was just beginning, 70, say something
when Agnes came along. We had to go
home and he was most attentive until we
got out of the house. ] just contracted
my mouth until It looked different every
now and then when he was talking, and it
was so little trouble really, that It hardly
made any difference whether he was there
or not. But 1t has happened two or three
times about being so disappointed in people
have heard a lot about,
Mrs. Dangerfield had a friend who was
supposed to be simply fascinating. She
said he was so handsome, and that women
were simply crazy about him. / met him
and thought he was pretty, which is so diff
ferent and so appalling in a man. And ]
wanted to hit him almost immediately-oT
have somebody do II for me, as 1 wouldn't
have wanted to touch him. Now, Mr.
Winton is so different, He says himself
he's very poor, and he hasn't got straight
features, or long eyelashes, but I like him
so much and love to look at him because
ne is put together so nicely. His hands
look as though they belonged to the rest
of him, and he's really very restful to the
eye after seeing some other people. Mrs
Hollens. for instance, looks just as though
she must have her laundress' hands in a
mistake.
l was walking down the avenue day be.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
Quick Repartee

"Our language has great possibilities"
one of the regulars at "our table" said at
lunch today while waiting for a car
two young ladies with all the ear marks Of
refinement, culture and other accomplish
ments met so near TO where stood that
couldn't help overhearing the CONVERSE
ton.
Hello, Name
Why, Sue, howdy
Fine and dandy. now be your
"Outer hight; where soin%
'Nowheres; where YOU?
Any old place say
WHAT
Seen new soda water clerk down 20
drug storeg
Nope: any better other fresh guy?'
Better? say, Sue, he's got that blonde
piker stuug so he can't set down. / drop
ped In on the way over to get postage
stamp. Didn't want no soda, but just 10
get acquainted stepped up to the fountain
and said careless like Gimme mineral
water
'Kissehgen?' says he
Kiss and gin; well that's going some.
SAY Name, he's got a nerve all right all
right
Not kiss and gin. sue, but Messenger
It's a kind OF mineral water they drink on
top Of vichy TO keep il down / pretended
/ wasn't on, and thought he said kiss and
gin and I says as II / was a little hot
! under the collar, SAYS You're sassy
parilla, says L.
Sassy parlIla; that's good, too. lie
didn't have nothin' on you. did he, Name Z?
'Betcher life he didn't Then he said
something about passing me sundaes. and
said he couldn't hand me no lemon. And
we just stood there and jOllied each other
back and forth making puns on soda
syrups, me putting EN- right back over the
plate as fast as he tossed EN- ont He's
classy. Sue and he's university man too
d" A university man?
" Sure he is. DO you thing a heightened
drug store would have anything but a
university man singing college ises? Nit
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

l am sure I am going to marry a poor
man. 1t is very disappointing that only
men have met so far that ] seem to like
appear to be positively poverty stricken,
and the ones that have been introduced to
me and are apparently wealthy ! don't like
a bit. Agnes came tearing up the other
day and said she had a man that she
wanted to have meet me.
She said, MY dear, he is worth mill
lions!"
There was respect in her voice, and it
irritated me. The fact of his having the
millions didn't but / knew she would ex-
cuse a man with a pudgy figure II he did
have them. She brought him up and his
figure was almost more than pudgy and
he had horrid hands and looked sort of hot
and greasy but was trying to appear cool
and well groomed looking. And she thought
he was so NICE He said something compli-
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
9 The Bees H0me Magazine page X
Her Husbands Voice
ny AMERE Man.

Vengeance flashed from the eyes Of the
Pest tirsdnate Husbsnd at His Wifes
greeting
"woof-woof is lost" she exclaimed dis
traotedly. and youn have TO get right
out and look for him. Hes been gone
three hourst''a4
Forgetfui % al the maxlms Of matri-
mcniaI tact she did not wait till Her Hus-
band had crossed the threshold to impart
the awful and not infrcquent things that
the beloved collie bad run away again.
As the romantic noveHsts have fire.
qusntly observed. the human heart can
stand certain amount Of shock, and after
that point is reached il becomes deadened
60 all emotion.
Sever again would the Post Graduate
49, usbsnd feel the thrift OF horror and dis
may be had experienced when Woof- Wool
had FIRST succumbed TO the wanderust.
The butcher hoy had brought him book.
he remembered. The amateur Wife had
wcpt with 10y and in the exhlleration OF
his own -eliet he had handed the expectant
urchin a new five-dollar bill.
Later the coliies disappearance had
grown too FREQUENT to permit such magnifi
cent largesse.
within Jhe first three months Of Their
stay In Mountainvle che price Of restor-
ms Woof-Woot to his nome and family
had dropped to 81 net. And as though
with the deliberate purp0se Of paying no
fsyorites. the dog allowed himself to be
found hy the butchers boy, the driver of
the grocers wagon and the bakers as
sistant In a regular rotation that might be
picdicated az confidently ~ The alterna-
ton Of winter, and summer, fan and
sprins
.Ics about ttrne ne was lost again
calmly answered the Post Graduate Hus-
band as htr hung his nat on the rack and
removed his t'ubbers. What are we going
c. nave foa'dinner"
What. exclaimed the Amateur Wife
indignantly you think about dinner wher
my angel Woof-Wo is goue-nobody
knows where How ran yod do il? I've
driven -a,l- ever athe neighborhoOd! I've
called W everj- police headquarters within
MY miles and re can't get any trace Of
hini And this 'timeYT feel as IL am never
mover e0inslto see MIN again!
Her voice tfailed ont into a despairinl
yah ana thts sun IN her eyes went behin'
~ cloud VITA an imminent prophecy o
rain req" 60
troht wofryy bsbye' said Her Husband
with more evatOr than he felt Hen b.
lack, Let's see whose turn It is to fin,
Inn? Oh, yes-the bakers boy Well
come along, let's" have dinner Hen b.
alcng with Woof-woof in the course Of tn
evening" --...-.f e.
N. thattvers, moment Mary, the Helpful
hanomalden, sounded the call for Dime
on. lbe 'Chipese gong in the hall.
Come Ai We True Born Irishmen
Was what thu gong Said according to He
Husband and he answered the call Xix
any like lover OF the ould sod.
In. the middle OF dinner the front doc
boil rang,,4,7- 81. ...4ss
Behold tbe bakers boy and Wool
--ifvsa7 s1rsJaqu,
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

Woof," exclaimed the Post Graduate Hus-
band confidently.
And the next moment mass Of black
and yellow and white fur, possessed OF
seven devils Of delight, was leaping and
barking about the hall.
But for once at least Fate had not run
true to form For it was the butchers and
not the bakers boy who retreated with the
recalcitrant collie's ransom.
Dinner ended then and there, so far as
the Amateur Wife was concerned. For, Of
course the prodigal WoofWoof had to be
regaled with his .favorte dlsh--the boiled
liver Of the fatted calf.
Then he had to be scolded and told what
would happen TO him if ne should ever
run away again, for in describing future
punishment His Wife had the imagination
Of a Scotch theologian OF the old school.
The Post Graduate Husband took no part
i'm the demonstration.
An idea possessed him. and soon after
dinner he rose, put on his hat and horse
/ blanket coat and Jared forth from his
home,
When he returned half an hour later his
! face wore a singular expression in which
/ triumph and certain conjunction seemed
! to blend
| We'll, I've unearthed a trust in Noun
/ tainvllle," said Her Husband mysteriously.
Neither the butchers, the bakers nor the
! grocers boy will hold our dog for ransom
for the period OF one year! l found them
all three together quarreling over the di-
vision of the S. 1t seems that the
butchers boy stole Woof-Woof out of his
turn, and the other boys were angry.
Taking advantage Of the discord in their
ranks, l offered them 81 apiece to devote
| their talents elsewhere"
yes, dear" agreed His Wife, enthusiast
ticaly, you have impounded the Noun
tainville O0opus-and II 1t ever comes
around here again I'll sick Woof-Woof on
IT,"
J Copyright 1911, by the n. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

mentary to me that I hated, and after eye
ing me all over. and discovering that |
looked as though 1 was sound, evidently
considered me worths tryout.
I could read It in his eye It's like a little
sixth sense, sort OF seeing behind peoples
eyes. right into the inside OF their brains
or their heads. II makes meeting them
so much more amusing. And when you
meet some one like Mr., Winton. who has
/ that sixth sense, too, it's most exciting. I
didn't say anything 20 Agnes friend, be-
cause l didn't like him and I wanted 60 go
away.
! lie said, You look bored, I must say, p
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
H. \ E4 !! 4 ANGELICA &c: : q:

fore yesterday when l met him. Thank
goodness had my new suit on.
He stopped and talked to me and said he
wished he didn't have an engagement up
town at 4:3O O'Clock or ne would love to
walk down with me. I talked to him lit
tie more, and he said he's walk down to
Twenty-third street, anyway. 1t was a
perfect day. and we stopped and looked In
the shop windows and l showed him the
loveliest hand embroidered petticoats In
one window that I wanted to buy, and
asked his advice about which he thought
the prettiest Then we looked in a window
full of cravats and things and l picked
out a tie for him. Then he said he'd walk
down all the rest OF the way, and we got
to our house said he's come I'm for a mo-
ment
When he got up to go, after half an hour,
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

as he said he was forgetting his engage
ment / suddenly thought ! saw a mouse
running along the shadow Of the window
curtains. l grabbed his arm desperately,
and really II was awful. However there
didn't seem TO be any when We looked. but
said | would be very grateful 1t he would
stay a little longer until I had recovered
my nerves. After a few moments I told
him they were recovered, and did he want
to go? He suddenly caught hold OF my
wrist and said he thought he saw that
mouse again, and II made his awfully
nervous.
That upset me once more, but I said we
must he brave together, and / thought We
had better go and sit on top OF the piano
SO We did, and It was awfully safe ant
jolly up there, and ne stayed TIL 60
o'clock. We are going shopping tomorrow
afternoon.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

said the mother. Il can't put up with any
little girl who does not mind. I will have
TO take you to the orphans home and get
"a little girl who will mind me.
We'll" shifted Alice, Il don't know how
YOU feel about It. but (sniffI I don't want
TO break In any new mothers
20, mamma" cried Dorothy, Il found a
little flea on kitty, and caught It'll" what
did you do with III" asked her mother.
why ! put It back on kitty again, OF
course. IL was her flea"
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
CnroIe.. Hnnhnnh.

What have you donei" exclaimed Mrs,
Cumrox as she four,shed a letter at him.
Has that anything TO do with the corre-
spondence I tried to help you with?'
1T has. It's an indignant protest
told you 20 address that distinguished
pianist as Herr Professor
nd did so"
Yes. But you wrote IL Hair Profes-
SORT Washington Star.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
Putttnn lin VIC.

Borem 0l:S0 p, NIL wish ] was a
mind reader, Miss Hits.
Miss Hitts-And why, pray?
Borem-So 1 could read your innermost
thoughts.
Miss Hitts-Oh. in that case you would
not be here.-ChicRgo News.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
Wise Innocence.

In Berlin kon had been naughty and
his mother suggested that he ask God 70
forgive him and help him 10 be a good
boy when he said his prayers. His reply
vas:
II o-eaR't say en- in German, ana God
can't understand 'em In English"
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

Real College Boy waiting for his change
in department store)-This suspense Is
simply maddening. Esmeraldo. Hadn't you
better start a tracer after my change?
Saleswoman Cmeanly, but sweetly)-Just
like money from home, isn't IL. Archibald
Drake Delphic
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
The wretch.

He has tricked me for the last time,
What is his last roguery? ?"
lie borrowed my revolver. ostensibIy
to commit suicide, and then went and
pawned it.'-LoulsvilIe Courier-JournaI
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
4 Quick Change

With a sigh she laid down the magazine
article upon Daniel O'ConneIl THE day
Of great men" she said, is gone forever"
But the day OF beautiful women Is not,
he responded.
She smiled and blushed. 81 was only
joking" she explained hurriedly.-W
Christian Advocate.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

90 Gee, you're regular albatross. Name.
'AlbatrOss what albatross? r.-.
Bird
" Oh mush.'
Then the car came along. Hartford
Times.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

She swore she'd get. even with him II
he divorced her and she did"
How"
She became his second wifes dress
maker, Boston Transcript ...
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

"Binks used TO be daft on the subject Of
buried treasure. What's he up to now
He's got up an expedition to Asia,
Minor 10 try 10 find the place where
Methuselah stored his birthday presents"
Toledo Blade.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17

I'VE won't print any such stuff as
that" sad the editor lofuly as he
handed back the manuscript
We'll YOU needn't be SO naughty
about IT," retorted the irregular contribu-
tor. You're not the only one who won't
print it."-Tit- Bits.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-01-17
Slightly Sarcastic

Warden-.You'n get six months for this
lob
Prisoner-,Just my blooming luck. Only
had my hair cut last night Threepence
chucked away, you might say.-Ilius-
trated Bits.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-04-29

NlllS. toI Sale Ii.
WANTED-A farm hand. APP
ply of JAS. Cheatham.
FOR SALE-Buff O~rphingtol
eggs for setting. Phone IS.
FOR SALE:-Good wort
horses. Enquire at the academy
FOR SALE-A six room house
on Franklin avenue.
MRS. HAS. TEUBNER.
FOR RENT-A five room
house on aDrth 18th street. Phone
l20 or call it the house.
FOR SALE-White and Buff
OrpingtOn eggs for Matching.
Phone l65.
FOR SALE:-An Eli Norri
safe. As good as new. Onl
used one year. Apply to thi
office.
FOR SALES. c. White Leg
horn Eggs for Matching. Fer
tility guaranteed. Phone 233.
JNO. PRICE.
WANTED Southern Florida,
small farm salesman; old reliable
company big pay. Powers Land
Co, 1901 Market ST., st. Louis.
Trustworthy man wants steady
work of any kind, farm or other
wise. (Married.)
1841 Railroad st.
Lexington, Nc
FOR SALE-First class second
hand organ very cheap. Better
see this if you contemplated the
purchase of an organ. Phone
McCall-2OO.
LOST;-A key ring with five
keys and one button hook on it.
Two lock keys, one trunk key
two grippe keys. Finder
please return to Col. Hoge at the
academy.
WANTED-A girl to do gen
9ral house work. No applica-
ions at the house will be con.
'idered. Apply to
H. G. GELZER'S.
Feed Store.
FOR SALE lumber
If all kinds and dimensions at
nil near Glen Oak mines or al
our yard in East Lexington.
Lexington Triumph Press
Brick Co. Phone S.
FOR SALES thorough bred
4. G. Red Hens, good layers with
1earling cock. Cheap.
EDW. F. MEYER.
80 North Sixteenth street, Lex
ington, Mo.
1855
: Buick and StOddard. !
Dayton $E
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-04-29
MAYHEM Notes.

Arthur Riley and Miss Ros;
Wehking left our peaceful town
and went to Malta Bend Easter
Sunday and were married. They
will be home to their friends in
a few days.
Mrs. Mary j. Pool, age Is years
widow Of the late Pleasant Pool,
died at her home in Mayhem,
Wednesday morning, April 10,
of bronchitis. The funeral ser
vices were conducted by Rev.
Downing at the home Thursday
at 1870 a. m. The remains we're
laid away to rest in the Pool
cemetery east of town. She leaves
two sons, f. R and R. E. Pool,
and eleven grandchildren to
mourn her loss, Sympathy extend
ed.
Dock Wilmot was in town last
Thursday.
j. 5. Vlckars and wife spent
last Saturday in HigginsvilIe with
relatives.
: Mrs. S. NJ. Green and daugh-
ter, Grace, went to Odessa Last
Saturday.
Your reporter aimed to give
d full report Of the closing ex-
erclseS of our school. If he failed
it was because zone little head
could not contain it all"
Geo. H, P~lattenburg and wife
made a drive to Higginsville last
Sunday afternoon and were the
guests of Lee Shippey and wife
of the Jeffersonian, also of John
Plattenburg.
j. H. Porter and sister. Miss
Wllllette, went to the country
and spent the day last Sunday
with W. F, Moore and family.
John Welliver returned from
Arkansas City last Monday where
he had been for treatment. He
says he feels much better-and
he looks it.
Judge E. S. Butt, A. J. HOef.
er, Otto Nolte, Lloyd VIM being
musical are often called in to as
Sist, namely: the Quartette for the
pantOmine.
Misses Edith and Lena Kelly,
Dick Vandever and wife of Hig-
ginsville, attended our school
class play.
G., H. RADIUS is a handy man
to have around. He arrang-
ed the platform, curtains and
drapery for the school exercises.
He surely has good discretion
and taste.
Win Jennings will take his
family to Higginsville this week
to remain for a month or so
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-04-29

FOR SALE-White and Buff
Orpington eggs for Matching.
Phone 165.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-04-29

FOR SALE-Buff Orphingtol
eggs for setting. Phone IS.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-04-29

the last two years. / think from your
description of internal catarrh that I
must have had that also. 1 suffered
very severely.
Nothing ever relieved me like Pc
runa. 1t keeps me from taking cold.
with the exception of some deaf
ness l am feeling perfectly cured, I
am forty-six years old.
Il feel that words are inadequate to
express my praise for Peruna."