The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19??, 1911-03-03

We never knew n man who did not
occasionally play sick, and bid for
sympathy.
No man can argue with a mule, and
do so impressively, with any hope
of results.
Some women are such clever bar.
gain hunters that they keep their hus-
bands poor.
No one feels quite as important as
a little man who has just called big
man q liar.
Don't neglect all your energies in
trying for class "a" when your living
is in class "B."
genius is the one who does today
what the other fellow thinks he will
do tomorrow.
The real estate dealers seem to have
remembered a good deal of the land
God forgot.
About the only system of beating a
poker game is to leave it alone or get
in on the rake-off.
Waiting for rich kin to die can
hardly be included in the list of get
rich-quick games.
There are still few people, we no.
tice, who consider the tambourine a
musical instrument.
The fact that matrimonial adver-
Using gets results, is not positive
proof that it pays.
one who makes lemonade out of every
lemon handed him.
The club is the only convincing ar
gument, and no gentleman will use
that on woman.
Unlike the owl, you can't gain a
reputation for wisdom by following
the all night circuit.
What has become of the old fash
toned circus that advertised Behe.
moth of Holy Writ?
About the only thing we can think
of in favor of whiskers today is that
they are home grown.
The man who has an ambition to
save enough to bury himself usually
saves more than that.
Most any woman can accumulate
money by going bareheaded, but what
would the milliners do?
Unless you are an alienist almost
Anything else pays better than being
a witness for the defense.
No matter how fierce a dog may
look, it's owner will always declare
| that it wouldn't bite anybody.
No man ever ought to want a drink
| bad enough to take it in an alley OF
the back stall of livery barn.
When did anyone ever grow as fine
vegetables or as beautiful flowers as
| those shown in the seed catalogues?
When a girl admits that she's stu
pid you're neglecting cue unless you
| no IN hnr hof oh &c
Did you ever notice that there are
not many men who quit because they
are not given an increase in salary?
| This is the season of the year wher
the farmer takes a day of rest anG
greases two or three sets of harness
Beauty hint: The horse will soor
begin to shed, and, while horse hail
is hard to handle, 1t looks better thar
jute.
II the writer is ever investigated he
will appreciate the privilege of nam
ing the committee that is to do the
investigating.
Some progress has been made il
this direction: Fewer men than for
merly count the Prince Albert Goa
Essential to dignity.
There is such a selfish disposition
to assume credit and dodge the blam,
that the law of heredity gets NOR
brickbats than bouquets.
A lot of sympathy miscarries, ant
it has always been thus; a good dea
: that Is now devoted to the dogs use,
to be wasted on the poor Indian.
You may have observed wha
usually happens to the man who be
: lieves he can present his own cas-
better than the smartest lawyer il
town.
No man likes to have his wife pus
a carpet sweeper toward his fee
} about the time he gets comfortabl
seated in a rocking chair to read tn
evening paper.
| Another rural holiday which isn't o.