The French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1896-1912, 1911-05-25
WHICH BEAT THE GAME?
Jim Thought the Lord Was Not Up
to His Business, But Found He Was.

the noted Topeka, Kansas editor, ~
years ago, was considered one of the
coming men of the town. He was a
mighty smart young man. He was
too smart-that was theNtrouble. He
Thought he was smarter than the Lord.
So he dabbled with the rules of the
game. He put his toe over the dead
line once or twice and it didn't rot of,
SO he thought that was easy, and put
his whole foot over. The experience
was, upon the whole, pleasurable SO
he packed up and walked He
didn't drop dead, and he didn't lose
any money, and he didn't see any rea-
son why that wasn't a good place to
Ibe so he concluded that the Lord
wasn't on His job. OF course folks
talked; but they said he was a smart
fellow, and that he could look out for
himself-an opinion which he shared
himself. So he kept or prancing up
and down the primrose path of dali
lance and what, with an occasional
bat, and on occasional 1irtatious ex=
cursion into the land of stolen water,
he kept his Office open and did a fine
business. For he was a smart young
man and he had found a way to beat
the Lord at His own game. Prosper
ity smiled on him. He won every case
he took. He was brilliant and in
dustrious and had a way with him,
and so his wife left him, and the lady
who thought she was going to get
him found that he could fool the ladies
as well Is the Lord. And that affair
was over. Of course, the church peo-
pie and the good goodies were excit-
ed; but who cares for them when the
Lord isn't working? If the people of
the town didn't like his gait they could
lump it, he said. There were clients
who needed that kind of lawyer and
they we're generally in a fix that made
them pay well, so he sported fancy
vest and found it hard to hire a steno-
grapher in his Office, and people said:
He's pretty smart; it's hard to fool
old Jim; when he takes a case he al
ways wins it, For he was a great
jury lawyer, and could make the jury
breathe like a steam engine in the
yards with a big head of steam on,
and could make the jury leak at his
will,
He was the best dressed man in
town, and made connection with the
fellows who did things in politics at
Topeka. So when, by a combination
II the county organization he got the
nomination for the legislature and
took his eratory out or the school
house circuit he denounced the mud
singers and character assassins who
we're bringing up his old domestic
trouble, and by weeping a few old
copious lines in the schoolhouse got,
the county vote, lost his own ward
and went to the Legislature. There
he was ION the inside" He got a
good committee and. was leader of the
group of politicians who put things
through with a rush in the last end of
The session. Thus he came to have a lit
lie reputation outside of his home
county, and went into state politics.
The Lord still seemed to be thinking
IF something else, and his scandal
with the young woman who went down
to Topeka from a neighboring town
during the Legis lature had begun
to smell pretty rank.
And some way the bright young man
couldn't come to the next state con-
yention except on a proxy, and he
couldn't find even a proxy to get
him into the convention after that.
Moreover, most of his practice was
in adjoining counties! Some way, at
Il uO110 Tue JuT10S I0luS0uH W WGOpS Ill
his creditors annoyed him. He get
interested in a number of stock prop
ositions that didn't pan out, and sold
out of him friends. He acquired a
bad reputation at the banks and
changed bankers. He owed a lot of
bills around town, and spots appeared
on his fancy vest. But he was hav=
ing a fine time, and when business
rYo1 I1111 h. uYn1I1d@on * MO Some
said to Kansas City, others to st.
Joe-and come back rather the worse
for wear. After every big lawsuit he
would lock himself in his Office and
corn up, and for a day or two would
go about looking frowsy and bad;
then take a brace, get hold of him
self, buy some new clothes, and af-
ter having barbered nd.massaged he
would appear on the streets looking
as fair as a May morning but the
hell frying in his heart, glazed his
| eyes, and he had a faraway look that
made people distrust him. 1t didn't
seem to cost him much to lie to
women, so he tried it on men, and
was known as a mighty slick prop
osition. He gave his note freely
kited his check from Ebank to bank;
kept within the law and if a victim
| squirmed the victim was told to test
the matter In the courts.
And so the years wore on. Women
couldn't fool him so he did not mar
ry; he knew when he was having q
! good time, and as he passed his for
tieth birthday, his face grew hard.
his eyes shifty and cruel, his hands
a bit unsteady at times, and his
friends ~distruStfuI. They said he
was smart as chain lightning, and
they had about the same feeling of
security towards him that they had
for chain lightning. For he was just
as treacherous. He was endorsed for
a high appointive Office, but his old
trouble came up and he was turned
down. An equity in the best prop
osition he had went to satisfya debt,
because he could not raise any mon
ey at either bank; he finally married
- A~l H. k0-n -r1SIAI - @I-