The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-07-28
CHAPTER VII.


Mr.. Gilchrist thought he was the
most important; the senate thought 1t
was most important with John Hen
derson and McCreary sitting in the
southeast corner of the room, each
casually smoking a two-for-a-uuarter
cigar like blase English peers watching
race the house thought itself most
important with Wells leaning over his
desk. his unlit and rusty corn-cob pipe
resting on his copy of the parliament
tary manual; the supreme court
thought that it was most important
lying in wait down stairs to declare
unconstitutional and void any legisla-
ton that might have escaped the
sweeping veto OF Mr.. Almighty Wash
ington Gil. All of this being like the
classic dispute between the feet and
hands and eyes and ears and nose and
mouth as to which was most import
ant. / would have settled that dispute
last named by deciding in favor of the
tongue and larnyx and teeth-in favor
Of the mouth. I decide the dispute be-
tween the governor and the senate and
the house and the court adjudging that
the most important was Bauskett and
Reese and Felkel and Darrell and Bird
Of the Georgian; these made up the
mouth OF the session of the legislature.
What was the use Of talking to Littell
and Summers and Goldstein and the
II you COulO not IedCn MI
Smith down at Lake City and Brother
Jones. of Poodle Hollow? Reese and
Bauskett and Felkel attended to that.
These people sitting at the table there,
Bausket, ct al, Just outside the railing
were the big ear and mouth of Florida.
To get them to scribble while you were
talking spelled the childhood of fame,
viz: notoriety.
And the greatest Of these was Baus-
IvA&A IL II 0f 10
largest circulation, the Times Union.
He had been up on the mountain at
Washington. He was probably the
diplomat who arranged the sweet line
of publicity that Mr.. Taliaferro had.
Did you ever see anything in the Asso-
ciated Press dispatches or in the week
Iy Post and other great journals that
reflected on Mr.. Taliaferro till he was
defeated and 1t did not make any more
difference? No, Bauskett did that. He
was Mr.. It's private secretary. Baus-
kett is a word factory. 1 was able to
pass but two or three over his eX-
tended hand, just out Of his reach.
One was "orchidisiac," another was
"microcosm", another was "bicameral,"
another was "cunaeculum," each of
these got his goat But he hammered
me down with "honorrrifcabilitud
ousity." His word, though, was not in
the dictionary. Besides these qualiti-
cations Bauskett could stand more
cocktails than Reese. Bauskett is both
little physically and ugly: he trails
around in a near locotar- ataxia man
ner, a one-out cigarette dropping from
the mouth. looking like the present lord
of the chief Turkish harem. my sad and
languid friend Mehemed V. Bauskett
remains keyed-up, to be witty; the
strain is terrible on him and on every
one else. He is pretty quick but has
no original wit. He is insolent and i'm
pertinent and sassy and patronizing.
Taking him all in all, Bauskett Is a
vicious, little, malevolent, peppery,
cynical, snobbish, wasp.
That is one side of the picture, prob
ably overdrawn as you will infer when
tell you that once Berrell said to me,
"Bauskett says you are very ordinary
and commonplace
1t is strange but true that we can
forge lots of hammers to use in knock
ing even the angels when the angel
does not do to suit us; does not take
toward us the attitude that an old be
TO de war; negro takes when he wants
a quarter of dollar with which to buy
drink. When w. J. Bryan proves
that he can create and deliver a more
splendid Grafton than any one in the
convention at Chicago then we tfatter
him with Bourke Cochran. or this man
possession of superior oratorical ability
over the spell binders in the United
States, some one in France is used TO
bludgeon him into a second place; and
if his comb cannot be cut in this
fashion. Cicero and Demosthenes are
lugged in to bring him down to COM
mon clay. If there was no God one
would be invented as a club with which
to dwarf these Caesars who straddle
the world like Collossi"
Where is perfection? Long before
the reign of that English king beyond
whom. the law concludes, the memory
of man runneth not to the contrary, 1t
was tudicially noticed that perfection
was not on earth. And when I have
found fault with Bauskett because he
| libeled me with the fiendish libel that
| was ordinary and commonplace" let
me hurry to admit that in spite OF
! Bauskett being a wasp he is also
| clever, careful, diplomatic: he may not
| be as witty as Heine, nor as diplomatic
as me- nor as handsome as Represen
| tative Lamb, of Suwannee. but he Is
an excellent correspondent with an as
! tonishing experience Of men and af-
! fairs, a wonderful memory which pre-
.serves for him the flower of his wide