davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Is 1t sign of laziness II you never
have had any ambition to keep COW?
Then we confess ennui.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Love isn't so blind that it hasn't
been known to shift it's course when a
better looking woman beckoned.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Did the decline of your stocks
caused by the Standard Oil decision,
cause you to lose any sleep? Here
either Pete.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Our notion of extreme laziness is
carried out by any reasonably healthy
person who eats breakfast in bed.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

You needn't worry much about the
trusts grinding you down if you help
yourself up as much as you can.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Remember that there are various
ways of emphasizing your remarks
without swearing about them.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19
know. Now who does know?

Maybe the wind1l go down when
the grass seed comes up.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

How would it do to run Mexican
war news in the sport column, with a
table to show the days batting av-
erage, runs, put-outs, etc.?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Before telling your troubles to your
friend, remember that he probably has
enough of his own to keep him busy.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Parties are important to politicians
and society girls, but other people
shouldn't take them seriously.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

1t might be well to bear in mind
that sick person appreciates flowers
more than a dead one does.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Convicts are always kicking because
the world doesn't receive them more
cordially when they quit their state
jobs. 1t is our hard-hearted opinion
that the convicts should kick each
other about this unhappy condition.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

"There is n lie out on me-" said an
Atchison man this morning, "and my
great fear Is that someone will dis
cover that 1t isn't true. The lie gives
me undue credit"
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Every boy regrets that in the course
of events, so many good dogs are spoil
ed by having women for their owners.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

How can you tell whether a tree is
really dead; or just playing possum to
get you to water it?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Men can't all understand women,
but there continue to be a fair num-
Der of bachelors who are never caught.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

California people talk so much
about their grandoldstate that 1t is a
wonder they don't say more about the
earthquakes that occur there so fire.
quently some people use them for
alarm clocks.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Revenge may be sweet, but it is
another of those sweets that impair
the digestion a good deal
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19
Here either.

To tell the truth, we don't own an
automobile, and it's not because we
don't like 'em, either. If you insist
upon the facts in the case, it's for the
simple reason that we can't afford it.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

The supreme court has determined
that oil and water won't mix.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

An incubator chicken doesn't mind
being an orphan, never having had a
taste of maternal affection.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

only refrain from trying to reform the
o. m.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

When is the wind going down? Yes,
we asked the cook, but the cook didn't
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Norfolk, by the way, still needs that
hospital.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Our idea of cheerful person is one
who can be greatly pleased by win.
ming a game of solitaire.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Now we hope nobody will ask us
again when we're going to get a car,
or why we don't.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Considering the kind of hats they
wear, women go to too much trouble
to protect them when caught out in
the rain.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Yes, BY That Time surel
Or when we get rid of that cold.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Sundays Mothers Day" Enough
said.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

If some people don't see a double
header the day they come back with
their rain checks, they are convinced
that it Is impossible to get their
moneys worth in this home of the
brave
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Run any spikes into your automo
bile yet?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

What has become of the old fash
Toned boy who carved picture on his
slate?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

1t is remarkable how poor some
people are when the assessor calls and
how wealthy they are when daugh-
ter lands man and an expensive we'd
ding Is on the program.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

No restaurant ever made a success
by serving oleo and paper napkins.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

When man begins to look into the
future he sees so much that isn't there.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

If you are drawing wages you don't
earn, your rainy day isn't far off.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

If q man isn't henpecked to a Ger
tain extent, most of the furniture in
his happy home will bear little burned
spots where he has laid his cigars
down in his own Independent way.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

You can't make fair guess by the
way a widow carries on" how long
her grief is going to last.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

A man can be smart and not plead
his own case very we'll
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Or when the war comes to an end.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Fortunately, it isn't easy to con-
vince a sick man that he isn't going
to recover il he isn't.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Try to save enough money so you
won't have to go back to the bush
worn out.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

When your curiosity runs away with
you, that isn't a sign it is going to
find what it is after.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Why is the air always calm and Sc.
rene in the morning, and windier than
the very deuce along about time for
golf in the afternoon?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Probably the longest measurement
of time, using the feelings as a gauge
is that which elapses from the time
one sends rush order for the doctor
and his safe arrival
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

A garden spot won't do much to re-
duce your living expenses unless you
cultivate it good deal.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Fewer farmers who favor the sin
gle tax idea, now believe the automo-
bile ought to pay it all.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Denying 1t doesn't amount to much
as evidence.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Some men are such good mixers
that it is hard for them to get any
useful work done.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

A boy doesn't mind chapped hands
if the affliction permits him to wash
them less frequently.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

seventy-fve thousand Americans are
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

AGAIN IN NICARAGUA
Tempestuous Nicaragua will have
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

An ornery man never gets so far
down the line that he doesn't admire
a good citizen, If the good citizen will
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19
ATcHIsoN GLOBE SIGHTS.

Know 1t all, II you can, but don't try
to tell 1t all.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Friends may be divided into two
classes, but those who stay with you
until you begin to need them form the
larger class.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Do you sometimes doubt the posi-
bility of getting an honest opinion?
Then listen to one expressed of an
other behind his back.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

We don't object to Mothers day."
but where does father come in at?
Personally, we could qualify better for
fathers day festivities.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

You've missed something in life If
you never worked in the beet fields at
ten cents row. But maybe you'll
get your fun some other way.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

You may wonder that the fakir puts
up such convincing argument. But
1t isn't any wonder, he has to be con-
vincing or quit.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

If man never wastes any money,
he is pretty sure to get rich, but if he
is never going to waste any money,
what's the use?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

And as tanning of the hide. it cant
compare with the kind that mother
used to make" Those were mothers
days" all right, all right.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Speaking of extremes, there are
boys who can't learn to smoke, and
others who don't seem to be able to
learn anything else.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

really dead; or Just playing poSSum to
get you to water it?
Sundays Mothers Day" Enough
said.
Run any spikes into your automo-
bile yet?
Here either.
To tell the truth, we don't own an
automobile, and it's not because we
don't like 'em, either If you insist
upon the facts in the case, it's for the
simple reason that we can't afford it.
Now we hope nobody will ask us
again when we're going to get a car,
or why we don't
Norfolk, by the way, still needs that
hospital.
How would it do to run Mexican
war news in the sport column, with a
table to show the days batting av.
erage, runs, put-outs, etc.?
Why is the air always calm and Sc.
rene in the morning, and winder than
the very deuce along about time for
golf in the afternoon?
We don't object to Mothers day.
but where does father come in at?
Personally, we could qualify better for
fathers day festivities.
Summer is here. At least that sea-
son of the year has arrived when you
can get your arms and neck burned to
a beautiful blister playing a game OF
golf.
But at that, the blister Is nowhere
near the kind you used to get swim.
ming all afternoon in the Elkborn, or
working barefooted in the beet fields.
And as tanning of the hide. it cant
compare with the kind that mother
used to make" Those were mothers
days." all right, all right.
You've missed something in life II
you never worked in the beet fields at
ten cents row. But maybe you'll
get your fun some other way.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Every Friday. by mail per year, $3.50
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

But at that, the blister is nowhere
near the kind you used to get swim
ming all afternoon in the Elkborn, or
working barefooted in the beet fields.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

Summer is here. At least that sea-
son of the year has arrived when you
can get your arms and neck burned to
a beautiful blister playing a game of
golf.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-05-19

only refrain from trying to reform the
q. IN.
II you insist on running things,
make up your minds that lot of peo-
pie will be awaiting an opportunity to
give you both barrels.
When woman becomes Interested
in II case, she has Sherlock Holmes
over the ropes in the contest for the
detective championship.
A woman with half a dozen children
doesn't lie when she tells how easily
she Is awakened, but there Is suspi-
cion that other people do.
Girlish ways are eXcusablo In girls,
or even admirable at times, but when
an old woman affects them, people
begin to wonder how she escaped.
The man who keeps revolver In
the house ought to have to pay high
er tax on II than the man who keeps
lady dog about his premises pays on
his live stock.
"There Ia lie out on me-" said an
Atchison man this morning, "and my
great fear Is that someone will dis
cover that 1t isn't true. The lie gives
me undue credit"
1t is remarkable how poor some
people are when the assessor calls and
how wealthy they are when n daugh-
ter lands man and an expensive we'd
ding is on the program.
Probably the longest measurement
of time, using the feelings as a gauge
is that which elapses from the time
one sends a rush order for the doctor
and his safe arrival.
If man isn't henpecked to GER
tain extent, most of the furniture in
his happy home will bear little burned
spots where he has laid his cigars
down in his own Independent way.
If some people don't see double
header the day they come back with
their rain checks, they are convinced
that it Is impossible to get their
moneys worth in this home of the
brave.
California people talk so much
about their grandoldstate that 1t is
wonder they don't say more about the
earthquakes that occur there so fire.
quently some people use them for
alarm clocks.
Convicts are always kicking because
the world doesn't receive them more
cordially when they quit their state
jobs. 1t is our hard-hearted opinion
that the convicts should kick each
other about this unhannY condition
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-11-15
LOCAL AND PERSONAL MENTION.

Mr.. Henry Mckinney spent Sunday
IN Greenwood with relatives.
H. c. Tillman, Esq, of Greenwood
attended court here Friday.
Miss Annie Davis spent the week.
end in Columbia with her parents
Mr., S. NJ. Wilkes spent the weekend
in Sumter
Mr. Gary Fowler of Cold Point spent
Monday here on business.
Mr.. j. *. Drust, of Greenwood, was
among the attendants upon the court
here several days last week.
Hon. Geo b. Cromer, of Newberry
spent several days in the city last
week
j. +. Glenn, District Counsel of the
S. A. l.. Railroad, attended court here
yesterday.
Messrs. w. p. Green and aniel Hill,
of Abbeville, attended court here sew
eral days last week.
Mrs. B. w. Ball left Friday for Co
lumbia to visit at the home of her
son, Mr.. W. w. Ball.
Dr. and Mrs. j. S. Wolff have return
ed to their home in the county after
visiting their son, Mr.. B. NJ. Wolff.
! Miss Lucille Wilson went yesterday
10 Laurens to spend some time with
relatives. cs.-Newberry Observer
Mrs. w. w Jones, of Laurens. is Wis
iting her daughter Mrs o. b. Mayer.
-Newberry Observer
Nr, j. b. Park, of Greenwood. was
in the city Saturday attending court
and shaking hands with many OF his
old friends
Mr.. NJ. A, Leaman, of Cross Hill, is
among the jurors at this term of
court. He is staying at the Gilkerson
House.
Mr. j. j. McSwain, of Greenvile, at
tended court here yesterday and as
sisted in the case of The Bank of Chill
licOthe. o. VS.. H. l.. & L. f.. McSwain.
Miss Annie Gilkerson and Mrs II. a.
Sanders left yesterday for Chester
where they Will visit friends for some
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-11-15
900
SnipcS- Williams.

Fountain Inn. Nov. 7.-Mr. Grover
Williams and Miss Clara Snipes were
married Sunday afternoon at Green
Pond church by the Rev Mr.. Black
mond
Mr. Williams is a promising young
man of Work Shoals, and Mrs. Will
liams, as Miss Snipes was one of the
towns sweetest and popular daught-
ers. The Young couple have the best
wishes of large circle of friends.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-11-15

Goldville, were in the city Thursday
Mr.. Browning was here most of last
week as juror in the county court.
Misses Willie May Childress and
Beth Shell, who attended the ID. A. r.
meeting in Chester, paid visit of
several days in Rock Hill before re-
turning home.
MIR Shaw Cunningham was here for
4 short while Monday He was on his
way TO his home in Clinton after
spending the weekend with home
folks in Cold Point.
Mrs. H. b. Lockwood and little
child arrived in the city Thursday ev-
ening to join Mr.. Lockwood who re-
Gently took charge Of the Metropoli-
tan Life Insurance Company's office
here.
Mr.. Nj. b. Chandler, of Greenwood,
was visitor in the city Monday. Mr..
chandler is native of this county. A
few weeks ago he resigned his posi-
ton as Chief of Police in Greenwood
on account of differences with the may
or.
Mr.. Ernest Moore of Cold Point pass
ed through the city Monday en- route
to Spartanburg. Mr.. Moore has re-
Gently accepted a position as trav-
elling saesman for the Murray rug
Company of Columbia.
DR., j. l.. Fennel was here Monday
enroutc to Spartanburg where he went
to assist in bringing Miss Ida May
Wharton from the hospital there to
her home in Waterloo. Miss Wharton,
who is a student in Lander College in
Greenwood has been in Spartaaburg
undergoing special treatment for
several weeks.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-11-15
HellamS- Mcdowell,

Miss Eula Hellams and MIR. John
Mcdowell, of Fountain Inn. were hap
PLY married at the home of the brides
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. John c. Hell
lams last Sunday evening. The Rev.
e. V. Babb performed the ceremony.
The happy couple are being congrat-
ulated on every side by their many
friends.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-11-15
600
SMindlCr-Ckcck.

Miss Alice Swindler, of Newberry,
last Sunday, Nov 5th, became the wife
of Mr. Calvin Cheek, a resident of
Newberry but native of this county
The happy young couple will make
their home in Newberry where they
have large circle of friends.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-11-15
w $$1sS &1G&& %Aka$ u $&&.&a
SOCIAL AND Personal. !
ikftMAMAMMFtEttAS.AN,F,A%

Mrs. Homer L. Blackwell entertain
ed the Bridge Club Friday afternoon.
In addition to the regular members of
the club, Mrs. Blackwell's mother,
Mrs. Stoney of Camden, and Mrs. John
son, also of Camden, were present.
During the afternoon delightful re-
freshments were served. Those present
at this meeting of the club were Mes
danes w. Fl. Anderson, L. G. Bale.
Jr., w. c. Irby, Jr, M. l.. Copeland
j. II. league, j. H. Cannon, j. E.
Clardy, Brooks Swygert; Misses Will
lie Jones, Jannette Macfarlane, Flor
ence Brown, Lila Hart, Frances
Thames and Julia Irby.
600
Riddlc-Lea.
Miss Eunice Vivian Riddle and Mr.
James Mcintosh Lea were happily
married at the home OF the brides
mother, Mrs. Mary Ella Riddle, last
Wednesday afternoon at o'clock.
Rev. w. p Jacobs performed the cere-
mony. Miss Alberta Riddle, a sister
of the bride, was tie maid of honor
and Mr.. Wilson w. Harris, of Clinton,
acted as best man. Both of these
young people We're educated at the or
phanage in Clinton and there it was
that their first love commenced. Fol
lowing the wedding Mr.. and Mrs. Lea
left for Beufort the home Of the groom
where they will be at home to their
friends.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-11-15
Red Iron Racket.

Special lot Ladies corduroy dress
skirts, $3.4S. All wool blue serge
dress skirts, $3.4S.
j. c.. Burns e Co.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-11-15
Fighting the Monaoose.

In Jamaica there is a premium on
the head of every moLgOose Like the
English sparrow. the Indian mongoose
was imported to Jamaica to drive out
snakes, but the agent became. I'm turn
pest itself. and the mongoose in
addition to killing snakes, killed chick
ems and practically every small thing
that came within It's reach. Conse
quently. its doom was sealed and a
price set upon its head. The United
States was forced to follow, and the
mongcose can only come into this
country by the smuggling process. un
less directed to a zoo
Red Iron Racket.
Good shoes at Red Iron Racket for
the whole family. Come and buy your
bill and save money.
j. G. Burns & Co.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-03-15
BUNCHtO PARAGRAPHS

Columbus (O.) council has voted
100000 for the maintenance OF recre-
alton parks this summer.
Two girls and a man we're killed
when an elevator fell four stories in
st. Paul fur house.
Benjamin S. Parker, Hoosier poet,
died at his home in Newcastle, Ind,
Ogden Mills Reid, son of Whitelaw
Reid, and Miss Helen Rogers, for.
merly his mothers private secretary,
were married at the home OF the
brides mother in Racine, Wis.
Among the II oil producing states
Of the Union, Ohio ranks sixth in the
matter of production and value OF its
petroleum products.
Father Desidimus Meier, pastor OF
the leading Hungarian church in
Bridgeport, Conn, is missing. So is
s6,S75 OF the church's money,
Citizens of Gary, Ind are up in
arms against the Aetna powder plant
in that city and threaten suit for its
removal.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-03-15

t1c CINCINNATI, New Orleans g Texas
Paatd railroed and their sympa
thizers. Several passengers arriving
here from the south say that rioting
and violence are going on IN the
mountains to great cxtent. Rail-
road officials will neither affirm or
deny the reports Charles Swartz,
the st. Louis detective, was shot
while trying to hold off a mob q.
Glen Mary, Tenn.
An engineer, who refused to allow
the use of his name, said that threo
men were killed in the mountains
near Kings Mountain, but no details
would be obtained.
Not a freight train has left Lexing-
,on for 4S hours, and every pas
senger train goes out with heavy
guard. over so Pinkerton detectives
from st. Louis are working south
from Danvile to assist the already
large force OF special officers and de-
tectives to protect lives and prop;
erty along the Queen & Crescent.
From interviews with engineers on
the Queen & Crescent, 1t is more
than probable that the throttle men
will quit work today and join the
striking firemen.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-03-15
TWICE-TOlD TESTIMONY.
ifarion People Are Doing All They
Can For Fellow Sufferers.

Marion testimony has been pub
lished to prove the merit of Doan q
Kidney Pills to Others In Marion who
suffer from bad backs and kidney
ills. Lest any sufferer doubt that
the cures made by Doan's Kidney
Pills are thorough and lasting, we
produce confirmed proof-state-
ments from Marion people saying
that the cures they told OF years ago
were permanent. Here's a Marion
case:
Mrs. II. Rice. 23l Lincoln Ave, /.
Marion, Ohio. says: II have used
Doan's Kidney Pills In my family
with excellent results. Some ten or
twelve years ago we first procured
Doan's Kidney Pills at shcmidt a
Co.'s drug store and they proved
to be genuine medicine, living up
to all the claims made for them.
At that time freely gave a state
ment for publication, recommending
Doan's Kidney Pills and now can
say that lapse of time has not
changed my high opinion of them !"
For Sale by all dealers. Price 60
cents, Foster-Muiburn Co.. Buffalo.
New York, sole agents for the Un-
Remember the name--Doan 's--
and take no other.
tied States.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1911-03-15
TO WAGE FIGHT
ON SOFT SNAPS
lnsurgent Republicans Will
Help Taft.
OPEN AT EXTRA SESSION

Senators Say That System OF Re
trenchment That Reduces Salaries
OF Clerks In Classified Service and
at Same Time Provides Fanoy.sal.
!! aried commissonerships For Lame
Ducks Is Saving at the spigot TO
Waste at the Sung.
Washington, March 1J.-Prcsideut
Taft's general plan Of economy in
public expenditures is likely TO re-
ceive vigorous support from an un.
expected quarter when the extra sos-
sion Of congress begins. Certain Of
the insurgcnt Republican senators
believe that substantial progress can
be made in the direction OF economy
by abolishing some OF the commits.
slons or at least reducing the sal.
aries now paid to former senator's
and representatives who have on,
sconced themselves in these govern
ment berths. Some of the senate in
snrgents are prepared to argue that
the policy of reducing the salaries OF
clerks in tho classified service and at
the same time paying large salaries
20 lame ducks" from Capitol hill is
misguided plan Of retrcnchment
which saves at the spigot but wastes
at the bung
The insurgents have directed their
attentions, for instance. 10 the inter,
national commission on boundary
waters, a joint claim with Canada
A lump sum was appropriated by
congress for this commission. Tho
state department fixed the salaries of
the American commissioners at So.
900 a year each. The president, upon
the urgent recommendation of sena.
tors and representatives. appointed
ex-senator Thomas II. Carter of Mon
tana and ex.Representative James A.
Tawney of Minnesota as members of
the commission. The salary to be
paid the commissioners is s2.500
more than they drew as legislators.