The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1911-02-21
DODCINC THE
LAW
By M. QUAD
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1910. by Associated Liz
erary Press

| He was exactly five feet high and
| weighed ITO pounds. These figures
will convince you that JOsephus was
not numbered among the mighty men
! of earth. He had tried various ways
! Of making a living. and i'm pursuing
! them he had got the reputation of be-
! ing keen. He had at last turned ped
| der and was driving q horse and
wagon around the country with dry
! goods. notions, groceries and tinware-
That's the way he came TO meet the
widow Sopher. who lived on a farm
The widow had passed forty. She
was large and bony and strong. She
was not handsome. The only thing ON
earth she feared was the law. She
! had once been arrested for kicking q
man and had spent ten days in Jail
| The sheriff had made her stay as
pleasant rs possible. but she had uey-
er recovered from the shock.
Peddlers are n joyial lot. and so are
| widows, and in time these two came
! TO call each other Josh and Sally.
Things would have gone no further
! but for the little mans keenness. He
never made n sale To the widow with
out cheating her. and one day when
| he heard that she had come into pos
session of 5000 in cash through the
/ death of n brother JOsephus saw his
way clear for the future. That money
would set up store in the village,
and he would become q thriving rier-
chant.
JOsephus went counting. He found
4 ~ 4 L. cc.fA
/ AS he courted she plowed. He had
no objections, as time was money TO
both of them. Josephus confessed
/ that he had entertained a sneaking
affection for the widow since his first
! call. and. though she didn't say much.
she seemed pleased.
/ JOsephus was told TO call two weeks
/ later. but at the end of nine days her
was back again. He said it was hts
! beating heart that fetched him. He
/ had cut the time down. but the widow
/ was ready for him. Several days pre-
! vious she had gone to the village and
; paid lawyer 81 to answer the qyes-
ton:
Can the law trouble wife who
/ ticks her husband:"
And his answer had been:
Not il YOU do not lick him too lard
There is neither assault nor batter in
what may be called moderate licking
Don't break any bones and don't seri-
ously injure his eyes"
/ Il have been thinking" said the Wild
ow to Josephus: Il have been thinking
and wondering if You loved me-"
Heavens, can you doubt it," he ex-
claimed. s
And you will always love me-:
Forever and forever"
"Then We'll say two months hence
Zone month"; week-a day"
Josephus knew of store to rent in
the village. and he wanted that 5000.
The widow insisted that she must have
two weeks at the very shortest, and
date was settled on. The marriage was
TO be private and be celebrated in her
home. In due time the happy day
came round-a preacher and two wit
nesses and the deed was done An
hour later. as the happy couple were
left alone. the widow changed her
out Il new hOrSewhip bought for the oc-
casion.
whats up" asked the wondering
JoSephus
Take off your coat and stand out"
For what. love? / want 10 talk
with you about opening store in
town."
Plenty of time for that. Josephus
The first sale You made TO me was five
yards of roller toweling You beat me-
on the price and on the measure. Tns
going TO tan your jacket for it,
But. love-
She took him by the collar and laidr
on the whip till he hollered. A wo-
man who could twist a pillow around
in clay soil could handle the little
JoSephus.
The second sale continued the
wife as she rested. was five tin pans
Four of them leaked. and Won beat me-
out OF 10 cents beside. Here Is lick
ing No. -
But l am yOur dear husbandr' he
| protested as he squirmed about
And that's why ] can lick you and
dodge the law. Here goes
/ Josephus' hide was tickled again.
He attempted to fight. but was taken
/ by the hair AMI his head banged
against the wall TIL he grew quiet.
! When the performance was over and
the wife had got her breath she said:
! You sold me ten yards of calico for
dress ana warranted il To wash. lt
WAS three-Guarters Of yard short on
the measure and the colors ran into
each other Josephcs, some more
horsewhipv'
I'll have Won arrested for this
"fou can't. That's what paid 50
20 make sure of. Come To Time
/ And Iosephus was licked for selling