The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-09-07

Der to put up 10 cents worth Of am
monia for q small boy with a sore eye
Mr.. Bowser was somewhat cas-
down. for be really had a good schem,
on hand, one Of the best be has
thought out in a year. but as be reach
ed the butcher shop he couldn't resis
the temptation to step in and say Il
the butcher:
"You have a big icebox here. How
long does # take you to freeze meatY
why, / could freeze It overnight
with ice enough. Are you going inte
the cold storage businessT"
Drop In this evening and bring
your fur coat with you" said Mr.
Bowser TO the man Of meat as be
winked at him and poked him in the
ribs. Two hours later he returned
home carrying five carpenter made
shelves, and be at once began mailing
one Of them against the wall.
us knocking the walls to pieces the
way to make a cold houseP asked
Mrs. Bowser. with a good deal OF
irony in her voice.
Tells Wife to Withdraw.
Madam, will you kindly withdraw
for a timer. she was asked In return.
when the surprise is ready you will
be led up to 1t, and IL you don't say
It's the best thing have ever done
I'll eat my hat"
"But what do you want Of those
horrid looking old shelves on the
walls?" she persisted
Withdraw, madam, withdraw. The
surprise will be all right"
81 don't believe 1t. None Of your
surprises ever are. The paper says
this morning that this hot wave is re-
cedlng before the advance Of a cold
wave from Manitoba. and l wish you
would give up your scheme"
Mr.. Bowser waved her down the
hall and up the stairs, and ten min
utes later a wagon drove up and a
man brought in FIVE electric fans. Not
more than ten minutes after that an
electrician came TO attach the fans to
the wires. By this time Mr.. Bowser
had two OF the shelves up. The elec-
trician began peering and hunting
about and after time said:
Hang my cats, can't find where
the wire comes I'M"
"what wire?" innocently asked Mr.
Bowser.
"why, the wire from the street
Where is IT."
II dunno"
"But you must have seen 1t brought
in."
II don't think did. No, know
didn't You ought to know your busi-
ness"
Why Fans Do Not Work.
Mrs. Bowser had been listening from
the head Of the stairs. and now she
came down and asked:
as it electric fans you are putting
up, Mr. BowserH"
"Yes, dear. That is the great sur
prise"
"And the man can't find what they
call the feed wiref"
"No."
"Well, 1t would be another great sur
prise on me II he could. There Is
nonew
woman, what do you mean"
"There are no electric wires laid in
the street. You ought to know that.
If you had said your surprise was cleo
trio fans l should have asked you last
night how they were going to be work
ed. How much are you out Of pock-
et?"
The electrician grinned and walked
out.
Mr.. Bowser put on his hat and coat
and left the house.
The family cat sat on the stairs and
smiled.
At 10 o'clock that night the tele
phone rang, and when Mrs. Bowser
helloed In 1t voice said:
my names is Jones. am farmer,
living six miles from the city"
"YesT
"Mr. Bowser Is here and will stay
all night. He is not quite right in his
head Talks about surprises and fans
and wires, but we've given him catnip
tea and expect him to be all right in
the morning"
And Mrs. Bowser sat down and cried
and laughed.