Tonopah daily bonanza. [volume] (Tonopah, Nev.) 1906-1929, 1911-04-25
RICE RIDICULED
BY EASTERN STOCK
EXCHANGE PAPER
WRITER IN NEW YORK CURB Is
AFTER THE AUTHOR OF
NEW STORY.

ANA@h
Yes, Agnes, | know you have
been waiting for someone to open
can of the canned Life Story of
Simos jacob herzig alias george gra-
ham-rice and tell you what the
first slice tastes like, says Franz
Heinrich De Schneider in the New
York Curb. 1t takes courage, back
ed with good deal of resolution,
to uncan Georges Life Story, and
you girls are so squeamish about
such things, but l don't blame you,
for it hasn't the delicate aroma of
the gentle and polite art of pig
sticking, but has all the meretrici-
Gus fiavoring of race track dope
and of vulgar hog killings" so l
pass it up. Its a persimmon, Agnes.
But that tragically worded an
nouncement of the completion and
initial treasury Offering of the first
can of Georges canned Life Story
appeals very strongly to my sense
of humor | wonder if Georgia
knows how really funny he becomes
when he pretends to be serious;
and, to be honest now, Agnes, didn't
it start your ha-ha fountain going
when you read it? 1t is the pro-
duction of an erratic but somewhat
heroic mind, Agnes, and should
have been labeled "The Serio-comic
Salutatory of the Shyster Separate
Gus of Susceptible Suckers And
George is only just now attempting
to par "the public once more
with this stale junket of gruesome
jokes! Isn't it funny? No, Agnes,
| it wasn't the Mohawk that caused
the Goldfield boom, but George
scented pay streak in the pock-
cts of the public''-he smelt ore,
already mined and minted, 1000
miles away-and that started those
violent eruptions of the eXoteric eX-
uberance of his egotistic imagina>
ton, unloosened by eXhalation of
| eXtemperaneous extravaganza and
| exaggerated ego-and what jam
| boree that was for his joy works.
| That was engineering the Goldfield
boom And, Agnes, isn't it funnier
still that it was 1.-The Unsuitable de-
sire of the American people to
gam ble"-not Georgie's Unsuitable
appetite for hog killings '-that led
him to satiate that same Unsuitable
public with 200,000,000 of indiges-
tible, Woody wildcat "securities?'
George is almost as clever a joy
maker as a laughinggas works. He
forgets, however that there are
those who remember when he was
celebrating one long, continuous SEES
sion of Walpurgis Nights with FIN.
ancia fireworks and bacchanaliar
brainstorms out on the wearisome
alkali and sagebrush, waving win
some wildcats" from the threads
Of his cobweb imagination. wallow
ing in the ways of the wantonlA
wicked and whacking the welkin O
the east with whoops of wonderful
word-paintings wooing the wallets
of the unwary with womanish witch
; cry. wrenching the wit from thu
wisdom teeth of the wiseacres un
til they became "dippy" from con
Stunning Georges delirious dope,
unwound their wads of wealth ant
sent them forth in exchange TO
THE ONE BEST BUY of the wooz,
wildcats which the wraiths of hi
genius were whelping in wholesal
. whirlwinds Suckers were born ev
| cry minute and the minutes mul
tiplied rapidly, reasoned George
1t was no deception to call hi
I worthless wildcat whelps "goo
| things splendid speculation" Ono
gambles), with every reasonabl
chance to make good 1t was n
crime to give each fake the labe
of genuineness in placarding it wit
the favorable report of reputabl
II "a engineer. 1.-THE American pee
pie didn't know that George ha
them gambling on the chances c
shadows becoming shade trees H
1 was only fooling them, workin
| them for suckers stacking tn
| cards and dealing them doubl
u o,a.coa t1rbo ,,lJioO didn't knO