The Press., 1911-09-20
HE WOULDN'T BE A HERO
 By M QUAD
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1911. by Associated Lit
 erary Press.

erp ana Ellen Taylor was the 0augnpeE of another, and they were engaged to be married. All their friends said it would be a sensible match. Joe was given the credit of lots of morse sense," and no one could say that the young woman was bit frivolous. That is. they couldn't until after cer- tain girl friend of hers from town had made her a three weeks visit and left four or five novels behind her when she departed.
 Those novels were about heroes, cav alters, chevaliers and knights. They told of perils. combats and rescues. Mrs. Taylor would have chucked them into the stove had she found them and boxed her daughters ears besides. but she didn't find them. They were read was asleep. By the time she had fin ished the second one the girl was look ing askance at Joe. He was sunburn- ed and freckled; his ears were rather large; instead of saying prithee. he said by gosh. In all the novels the cheva- Hers had plumes in their hats; Joe didn't even wear a hens feather in his old straw. He had a hoe on his shoulder instead of lance, and he plowed corn with an old 6eabttten mare instead of riding around on an Arabian steed.
 No, Joe didn't size up for shucks. compared to the chevaliers. In the meadow, near the field where Joe was blowing corn. a colony of humble bees had taken up their quar- ters in tuft of grass. This fact was known to the Taylor family. and the farmer intended to rout them out some evening. Rumble bees are not cheva- Hers. but they are the next thing to it. At o'clock one afternoon, when it was seen that Joe and the old mare were hard at work. Miss Ellen put on her bonnet and walked out to that bumblebee caucus. At five feet from it she halted and screamed and danced around.
 The scream reached Joe Harper's ears, and he let go of the blow handles and made for the fence. In an instant he realized the situation. but he didn't dash forward and fall over several stumps. Instead of so doing he sat on the fence and called out:
 ''Ellen. why in thunder don't you run away"
 "Oh. the humble beesw she shouted. 'Yes. but don't stand there like an idiot!' Make for the house"
 A week had passed and the stings had been cured. when Joe got another chance. At o'clock one afternoon Miss Ellen sat on the veranda sewing and wondering how Joe would look in armor and on horseback, when she caught sight of a big dog coming along the highway on the gallop. She screamed for Joe again. He dropped his hoe and came running. but paused as he reached the fence to ask what was the matter.
 ''Mad dog! Mad dogy' she shouted. '
 '"Then climb up that ladder on to the roof of the kitchenw
 No rushing to the rescue. no beating the dogs brains out, no remarks worth leaving to posterity. Miss Ellen was furious with him. That was the reason rung of the ladder broke as she was descending and precipated her on an ashheap. Within an hour the chevalier of the hoe received word that he need never show up at the Taylor house again. The engagement was oil.
 Now look at thaty' he exclaimed when he had been made to understand. ''There was that ladder handy to climb saw the dog coming and knew it be- longed to Perkins. Was there any need for me to break my other sus- bender? And if 1t had been a real mad dog would it have helped the case any for both of us to have been bit ten" ..
 Joe stayed away. He had been told to and he obeyed. At the end of two weeks he took a day of to go fish, ing. Miss Ellen heard through her brother that he was going, and she made little plan. She had got over being mad at the man who wouldn't be heroic. In fact. she wanted to make up." She would go a-fishing too. She wouldn't fish for fish. but for Joe Harper. The lover of other and happier days was fishing from shady bank when she came into view. but he was on the other side of the stream. He watched her walk out on a strand ed log and said to himself:
 If she gets bite and jerks up her pole she'll sure go of that log"
 Two minutes later the thing hap pened. There was nibbIe. a jerk and souse. and after the souse a yell Ho was only about three feet deep, and as the girl gained her feet after the souse she was called to: @
 Don't get skeart, Ellenv'
 "Oh. Joe-Joe!'
 You can wade ashore easy enough"
 Zoe. shall-shall"-
 "No. you won't"
 ID the six weeks following the bets were ten to one that Joe and Ellen would never marry. but those who gave the odds lamented 1t. The two met on the highway. and after pre- tending not to see each other they halted. and the girl said:
 'Joe, wanted to marry a bero."
 "Well. 1 hain't one"
 'I wanted to marry a hero. but guess I'll have to take up with great. big, good natured. sIabsided farmer"
 'sLooks that way to me. ElIen." smiled Joe. and that evening the mar. riage day was set.
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 Rivuiets and the Rivers,
 All are to be men of genius in their degree-rivulets or rivers, 1t does not matter, so that the souls be clear and pure. not dead walls. encompassing dead heaps of things known and num- bered. but running waters in the sweet VHYfNf TnOppN 70 H-Q. tf-5--