davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
SOBERED AND LABELED.
The Pre- aphselite Treatment Fer
Drunken Geniuses.

drunken Scntuscs.
Nothing In Mr.. Ford MADDOX Huef
fer's Ancient Lights" is more anus
ing than the account OF his illustrious
grandfather's efforts TO reclaim this
many drunken geniuses of his ac-
quaintance. II appears that he was
in the habit of providing several of
them with labels. upon which We're
inscribed his own name and address
Thus when one of these geniuseS was
found incapable In the neighborhood he
would be brought by cabmen and 9TH
ers to Fitzroy square. The poet, be-
ing thus recaptured, would be carried
upstairs by Charlotte and laid In the
bath and would be reduced to sobriety
by cups of the strongest coffee that
could be made (the bath was selected
because he would not be able to roll
out and inJure HIMSELF. And. having
been thus reduced to sobriety, he would
be lectured, and he would be kept in
the house. being given nothing but
lemonade to drink until he found the
regime intolerable. Then he would dis
appear. the label sewed inside his coat
collar. to reappear once more In charge
of n cabman."
Whistler was not among the wine
bibbers. but he had other peculiarities.
Upon one OCCASION" says Mr.. Huef-
fer, MADDOX Brown, going to a tea
party at the Whistlers' at Chelsea, was
met in the hall by Mrs. Whistler, who
begged him to go to the poulterer's
and purchase pound of butter. The
bread was cut, but there was nothing
to put upon 1t. There was 10 money
In the house, the poulterer had cut off
his credit, and Mrs. Whistler said she
dare not send her husband. for he
would certainly punch that tradesman's
head"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
BOGUS ANTIQUES.
Tricks Of the Crafty italian Forsers Of
Old Curios.

Old Curios.
There are dealers In eurios, crafty
set of tradesmen, oil over Europe, but
II is In Italy that they have carried the
art OF deceit and forgery, the substitu-
ton OF modern products for ancient, to
tho acme OF perfection. Verona, Ven
ice Siena and Rome swarm with
shops In which Turk these dealers In
the antique. and they arc keen TO spot
any American that may pass their
way. Next 10 the American In guilt
bility IL the Engliahman. but he does
not so freely give up his money.
Sir James Yoxali. the English con-
noisseur, thus describes one OF these
dealers: "IIe know how 20 crackle new
worries by boiling them like eggs. how
TO cook new pictures In the oven, how
TO smoke new prints and how to green
new bronzes with nitrate Of potas-
SUM. 1t was so amusing to see the
things age in n minute! He would
bring n new earthenware dish out of
the over, burning hot, end plunge 1t
into iced oil; result, contraction. chill
chilblains, SO to speak-and the enamel
MI cracked into the wrinkles Of age.
And then he would rub the surfacs
upon dirty paving stone till signs of
wear and tear appeared that might out.
wit anybody.
"As for pictures, 1t was easy to find
an old canvas or an old panel for Lo-
reno. 1t was when the artists work
was over that the real science and art
began-flrst of all. a wash of var
nish that had been colored with sepia
next, on the more raised portions, rub
bings with licorice juice to attract the
flies. He could even initiate fly marks
with india ink. A few drops of salty
water left on the canvas would pro
duce moldiness and mildew. A needle
deftly used would cover the picture
with network of cracks"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
MEN WHO MAKE SAFES.
Closely Watched After They Resign or
Are Discharged.

Are Discharged.
A number of years ago two prospec-
tive safe breakers succeeded In obtain
ing employment in two different safe
factories, worked over a period of
years In the various departments. gain
ed all the information that they desired
and, subsequently working together,
managed to battle the safemakers by
their skill In opening complicated safes
In different parts of the country.
The police were at loss to understand
how the safes had been opened, and
only upon the apprehension of the two
men several years later was 1t learned
that the Jobs had not been inside"
ones, as was originally suspected, but
had really been the work Of two men
who had been initiated into the mys-
teries Of safecraft and had pue their
knowledge to criminal use.
This put the safemakers on their
guard, and an exceedingly complicated
system was Immediately put into force.
whereby not only was the pedigree Of
every workman looked into closely, but
the work among the employees was SO
separated that no one man or two men
could gather enough information about
a safe to put 1t to dangerous use after
ward. Furthermore, when an employed
is discharged or when he voluntarily
leaves his position his actions are
watched, and, although safe companies
refuse to discuss this particular point.
1t is matter of record that any for
mer employee Of safe company who
is possessed Of intimate information
regarding the secrets Of that COM
pany's safes is kept under constant
observation-disclosures Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
A QUICK TWIST.
Why the Watehful Owl Didn't Wiring
Its Own Head Off

why tno W1tCnIui NWl Dionh WTinR
Its Own Head of.
Boys who have tried to put salt on
a birds tail" generally come to the
conclusion that birds can ''see behind
them" and some may half believe that
the heads Of these little creatures are
hung ON pivots. How easily one could
conceive such notion is illustrated
by the experience Of a Maryland man
who had read story about an owl
wringlng its own neck by looking at a
man who was walking around him.
The Marylander decided to experiment
along these lines and so procured a
fine specimen of an owl and placed
him ON a post.
1t was not difficult for the expert
menter to secure the owls attention.
for the bird never diverted his gaze
from the man while the latter was
present. The man began walking rap
idly around the post few feet from
It. keeping his eyes fixed upon the bird
all the while.
The owls body remained motionless.
but his head turned exactly with the
mans movements. When the man
was halfway round the owls head was
directly behind. Three-quarters OF a
circle were completed. and still the
same twist of the neck and the same
stare followed the man.
One circle and no change. On the
man went. twice around, and still that
watchful stare and steady turn Of the
head Three times the man went
around. and he began to wonder why
the OWLS head did not drop Off, when
all at once the man discovered what he
had failed TO notice before.
When the man reached distance
halfway around from the front. which
was as far as the owl could turn his
head to follow the experimenter's
movements with comfort. the owl
whisked IT back through the whole cir
Gle so instantaneously and brought 1t
facing the man again with such pre-
cision that the latter failed TO detect
the movement, although he was look
ing intently all the while at the bird.
The Marylander repeated the expert
ment many times afterward on the
same bird, and he had always TO
watch carefully TO detect the move
ment OF the readjustment Of the owls
gaze-Philadelphi Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
A Charming Woman

is one who is lovely in face, form,
mind and temper. But it's hard for
a woman to be charming without
health. A weak, sickly woman will
be nervous aud irritable. Constipa-
ton and kidney poisons show in PIN
pies, blotches, skin eruptions aud a
wretched complexion. But Electric
Bitters always prove godsend to
women who want health. beauty and
friends. They regulate Stomach.
Liver and Kidneys, purify the blood;
give strong nerves, bright eyes, pure
breath, smooth. yelvety skin, lovely
complexion and perfect health. Try
them. SOC at all druggists.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
"pinner Of Deadly Enemies"

Lady Randolph Churchill once gave
at her house in Connaught place what
she called dinner of deadly enemies.
1t was thought. says Mr.. G. W. Small
ey In his "Anglo-American Memories"
a hazardous experiment at proved a
complete success. They were all well
bred people. They all recognized their
obligations to their hostess as para
mount for the time being. In some
cases ancient animosities were soft
ened. In all they were suspended"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
SCIENCE IN BUSINESS.
The Way the Task and Bonus System
Operates In a Factory.

The Way the TASK ana Bonus SyshoW
Operates In a Factory.
Tho task and bonus system was In
troduced by me ia the Bethlehem Steel
works in 1901 us a means Of afrording
substantial justice TO tho employees,
while requiring him to conform to the
best interests OF his employer. says a
writer in the Engineering Magazine.
The employee was not told In q gen.
eral way ito do better" but had
definite standard set for him ana was
shown how to reach that standard. for
which he was awarded compensation
In addition 20 his usual days pay.
Tho system may DO described in
general way as follows: A card Is
made out showing In detail the best
method we can devise of performing
each of the elementary operations on
any piece Of work, specifying tho
time needed for each of these opera
tlons as determined by experiments.
The sum OF these times Is tho total
time needed to complete the piece or
work. If man follows his instruc-
lions anu uCCoIlpiisueS ia eho W."
laid out for him as constituting his
proper task for the day no is paid a
definite bonus In addition to his day
rate which he always gets. II. how
ever, at the end of the day he has
failed to accomplish all the worksiaid
out he does not get his bonus, but
simply hts day rate. AS the time for
each detail operation is stated on the
instruction card, the workman can con-
tinually sec whether he is earning
bonus or not. IL he finds any opera
ton which he cannot do in the time
set he must at once report to his
foreman. who must show him how to
do It or report to the man who made
out the instruction card. IL the latter
has made an error he must make out
new instruction card, explaining the
proper method of working and allow
ing the proper time. If, however, the
instructor contends that the work can
be done in the time set he must show
the workman how to do It
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

Among the odd habits OF rocks is the
way that members of the same rock
cry have Of intermarrying generation
after generation. The males always
choose their wives from among their
near neighbors, and If one should be
so bold as to bring home to his rock
cry a bride from a distance the other
rocks will invariably refuse to receive
her and will force the pair to build
some way off. In the neighborhood OF
big rookeries outlying nests Of this
kind may always be found.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

Various counties in England have
their especial brand of sandwiches. In
some apple and meat are mingled to-
gether; In others the customary slices
Of bread are supplanted by slices Of
parkin. Devonshire perhaps can boast
the most luscious sandwich of all Eng
lish counties. To make a Devon sand
witch split" or scone is cut In half,
each side is buttered, then jam is
spread upon the buttef upon that
again thick coating of marmalade.
Finally clotted cream is added with
equal llberality. and the split, thus
swollen beyond recognition, is ready
for consumptiou.-Londo Globe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
THELAMBERTVILLEREC0RD
FRIDAY, JUNE %, 1911
AN UNEASY SKELETON.
II Had a Lively Time Until Its Final
Burial Ceremony.

II Had q Lively Time Until lts Final
Burial Ceremony.
Speaking of final resting places"
said Ike Purcell the other day, IAN
Indian buried at Wakeeney has earned
his. He was the first Indian killed in
the last Indian raid in Kansas. The
raid was pulled off by $50 Sioux In
dams, and a good many settlers were
killed, considerable property was burn
ed and hundreds of horses and cattle
were stampeded. The Indians came
within few miles of Wakeeney, when
n part of cavalry regiment from old
Fort Hayes met them. The Indians
fed, but were forced to n stand over
in the edge of Rush county.
1.-THE history OF the chase is inter-
esting. Every Indian in the band was
bled off his pony near Wakeeney and
rolled into n ditch. His body was not
found for several months, and by that
time nothing was left but n skeleton.
The men who found the skeleton wired
the bones together and tied 1t to post
on the public road, with label tell
Ing that 1t was the first Indian killed
in the last raid, etc. Complaint was
made about the grewsome spectacle,
so the county board ordered the skele-
ton buried in the cemetery. To cele-
brate the fact that civilization had
come to stay speeches were made at
the grave of this the first Indian killed
in the last raid, etc.
later some 'fellers' got full, dug
up the skeleton, dressed II in store
clothes and had fun with IL. They
hired llyeryman TO take their friend
home, and when the driver found what
he had In the seat with him he yelled
nightly and jumped out of the buggy.
The team ran away. splitting the Indian
in park where an ice cream festival
was in progress. The skeleton was
again buried with ceremony, being the
first Indian killed In the last raid. etc.
Lo was permitted to repose about
year, when another bunch of FOUNDERS
disinterred the skeleton, redressed II
and shocked sensitive citizens with a
moonlight lynching, shooting at the
dangling figure and all that sort OF
thing Officers cut the corpse down,
and then the gang that was wise to
the Joke INDUCED in merry ha-ha.
For the third time the skeleton was
buried with more speeehifying After
that the skeleton was not disturbed,
and the good people of Wakeeney
hone thnt II hns found its final resting
place"-Kansas City Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

The principal center for the distribu-
ton OF arttculated skeletons for pur-
poses of study by the medical profess
sion is in Paris. from which point they
are shipped to every part Of the globe.
The price Of well mounted articulat-
ed skeleton varies from $50 to $500.
This difference has little to do with the
condition Of the subject while alive.
In the cheap skeletons only the barest
framework is offered, but in the ex-
pensive specimens every detail Is work
ed out with sedulous care, and often
both the nervous and the circulatory
systems are shown.-Cincinnati Com
mercial Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
GRAY HAIR MAKES YOU LOOK OLD;
DANISH YOUR GRAY HAIR

effective for this purpose than these two
-honored remedies, but Wyath, n
modern chemist, has combined the two
with other ingredients which makes n
delightful dressing for the hair, and
which not only removes every trace OF
dandruff but promotes the growth of the
hair. 1t also stops the hair from falling
out and makes it beautiful.
All druggists are authorized to refund
the money il it fails to do exactly Is
represented.
This preparation is offered To The
public at fifty cents bottle. and Is
recommended and sold by all uruggistss
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
Ihn Shoniifter.

Old Jed Shucks and his wife had WIS.,
tied New York city, and after they
got home Jed was describing to his
friends the wonders OF city ways.
AN we went to a big department
shop" he said. "an' we got inter one o.
them ere things wot whizzes ye clean
up TO the top-what In tarnation is
their name. maj"
"Shoplifters. Jedediar." Mrs. Shucks
replied
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
San Francisco 1915
Announcement made of free trip to the
Panama Pacific International Exposition

XX/ORD has received SUNSET, the Magazine
the Pacific and the Far West of the organization the Sunset
Panama Pacific Club The Club offers four weeks trip the Ex
position be held San Francisco including railway fare,
Pullman dinner hotel accommodations admissions the fair side
trips points interest," all in little time each week to be
devoted to the work OF the Magazine
The exposition be held the completion OF
the Panama Canal citing the Pacific and Atlantic From all
indications will be by far the greatest Worlds Fair held
The Magazine has issued attractive booklet descriptive OF the
trip. and giving further PARTICULARS which viii be application
The membership very limited and likely that than
two applications viii be accepted from this vicinity
Requests for particulars should be
SUNSET PANAMAPACIFIC CLUB
sI7 BATTERY STREET, SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
By Using a Harmless Remedy
Made from Common
Garden Sage.

Gray hair Is mark of age, and moth
ing that can be said as to its beauty will
effect the disadvantages of this mark of
age set upon your brow.
Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Hair Rem
edy daikens the hair and restores it to
It's youthful beauty. Our grandmothers
and their grandmothers before them used
sage and sulphur for darkening their
hair. Nothing has ever been found more
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
A Dreadful Wound

from a knife. gun, tin can. rusty nail
or Of any other nature. de-
mands prompt treatment with Buck
lens Arnica Salve to prevent blood
poison or gangrene. It's the quickest
surest healer for all such wounds IS
also for Burns, Boils, Sores. Skin
Eruptions, Eczema, Chapped Hands
Corns or Piles. 25c at all druggists.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

After ALL" said Mrs. Oldcastle as
they were returning from the picture
gallery to the drawing room, 81 think
my preference Is for Botticelli."
Well" replied her hostess. IT can't
say that mine is. For me 1t doesn't
seem that there's anything to beat
good old fashioned raspberry JAM
Chicago ecord-Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

THAT editor Ii terribly slow at read
Ing manuscript"
Think sof Why. know the time
b. went through twelve stories In less
than a minute"
"orncious When was that?'
When tho elevator broke"-Phila-
dslphia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
just Like His Dad.

"Bliggins says he has one of the
emartest and handsomest youngsters
In the country"
"Yes," replied Mr.. Growcher; chats
what comes OF so many people think
ing it necessary to tell a man that his
ton Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
His Mean Cor,msrt

Mrs. Doty (reprovingly)-Mrs. En-
peck told me today that her husband
always keeps her photograph on his
office desk. Mr.. Doty-I guess that
explains why he's always late getting
home to dinner.-Puck.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
Fair Warninn

Gotrox-Can you support my daugh-
ter in the way she has been accus-
toned to live, young man? Hardupps
Well. it'll be your fault II ! can't
Philadelphia Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
THIS WILL INTEREST MOTHER.

Mother Grsy's Sweet Powders for Children
relieve Feverishness, Headache, Bad stom-
ach, Teething Disorders, move and regulate
the Bowels and destroy worms They break
up Colds in ~ hours. Used by mothers for u
years. All Druggist, CSC Sample Free. Ad-
dress, A, S. 0lmstead, Leroy, N Y.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
Silent For Once.

"Did your wife jump on you when
you got home late last nightf"
mo For once | was in luck. The
people In the fiat next door were hav-
Ing spat, and my wife was busy
listening City Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
The Riddle.

"woman is a riddle" remarked the
Wise Guy.
"Yes," agreed the Simple Mug. "She
keeps US guessing. and we hate to give
her up."-Phlladelphia Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

"My tailor always has touch of the
appropriate in his work"
YES I've known him to press
mourning suits with sadirons. - Balti
more American.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
Cause For Conaratuiation.

The Boss-Mr. Stubpen, when you
came In this morning | detected
trace of liquor about your person. The
Bookkeeper-That's fine, sir! Finel
That shows how much better your
cold IL, sir Puck.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

Prosperity Is great teacher. adver.
slty is a greater. Possession pampers
the mind; privation trains ana
strengthens 1t.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

If you want money, 20 TO strangers.
If you want advice. 20 TO friends. II
you want nothing, 20 to relations
Lipplncotts
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

II tell YOU" said Dottypate, Pm
nobody's fool"
"Oh. we'll never mind. Dotty DEAR"
said Miss Cynica. Some day some
nice girl will come along and take
you Harper's Weekly
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
Highest Prices
paid for old
Iron 6 Rubber

am building up business propo-
sition that good prices, SPOT CASH and
absolutely square treatment are bound
to bring the business of a great many
people with whom wish to deal. This
policy has attracted scores OF dealers,
factories and farmers to bring me their
junk from all parts of the country.
They know by experience that do as
l say. am now paying good prices for
Scrap Iron 45c & SOC per 100
Rubber Boots & Shoes 7c Id
Mixed Rags &c Id
Bones SOC & 6Oc per 100
Big prices for anything in my line
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
Whore He Won't.

Did the prisoner 30 beyond well de-
fined ethical bounds In his defense"
Nope He just went to Jail. "-Ex-
change.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

Truth often suffers more from the
heat Of its defenders than from tho
arguments Of Its opposers.-Penn.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
THE BANK OF ENGLAND.

Classed as a Tavern and Has tho Right
to Retail Beer.
In the census records of the city of
London the Bank of England is class
ed as tavern.
This is because 1t has the right In
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
Cupid In Caledonia.

An ancient Scotswoman rallied her
daughter.
Meg, for why Gamma We encounter
Sandy boy but We must so red as redf"
she asked.
"Mither," the girl shyly confessed,
'he glares at me that fiercely maun
deem he's In loo WI me"-Woman's
Home Companion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

Seventeen years of steady increase
in sales is strong endorsement fpg
the "Lambertville Puff"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

Ask for and insist on having Lam
bsrtviils Puffs.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23

most Kidney, Liver and Blood troubles. No
better remedy. 35 years successful. Write
DIR. David Kennedy Co., Rondout, N. Y,
U. s. A., for free sample. All druggists,
3l.00 o bottle.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-06-23
Danger Signs
OF Kidney and Liver Disorders
DR.. kennedy'S Favorite
Remedy The Best
Treatment.

Your health and life depend
upon the Kidneys and Liver
working properly. When out
of order you have pains In the
back, brick dust deposits,
scalding pains, swelling around
eyes, constipated bowels, drow-
siness, fever, rheumatic pains,
skin and blood troubles. DIR.
David Kennedy's Favorito
Remedy removes the uric acid
from tho avatarn tho cauaa ~