davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-22

and probably right atop of that kind
of an argument the two of YOU get to-
getther and see the old thing IN a new
light: and no particular harm is done
But it is the insinuating knocker, the
he-invertebrate with the oleaGinous
pipes. who is only to be dealt with by
the people with whom he tries t.
spread his knocks.
You cant control the lawful knock
er. He comes ranting to you and No
says. Say, that Bill Beding is "A cut
throat and pirate and son of "A sea
cook on waterlogged lumber schooner
and he'd poison his grandmother for a
nickel and hit an inmate Of the oil
ladies home for a dime.
You can't stop a wild man like that.
He's too noisy and too much in earnest.
He's got the old coal maui out for
the man he's talking about. and he's
going to say what he has to say about
that fellow if the Capitol caves i'm and
the Monument lies right down on the
grass.
But the soft voiced. wheedly BAN
booty. shifty-eyed he-gossip-he doesn't
even deserve the appellation Of knocker.
which seems to imply at least kind
of masculinity-is altogether a differ
ent kind of proposition TO deal
with.
There is only one way to deal with
him, and that is to call him quick and
loud and with a decorating and dizzy
ing report,
Just soon as you sense what he is
getting at, call him,
1t Will. if you care to wade through
the modus operandus of il, work oct
somethin~ like this:
The he-gossip nudges along your
way fddles around with a lot OF in
consequent talk about the weather afd
the ball game and what-not for a little
while: and then he begins TO graduallT
lead up to the little vinegary norsel
that's rafting around on his menta.
palate.
Hear about Jake" he asks you.
Jake is buddy of yours. and YOU know
all about him: that he's been having
little trouble at home lately. or has failed
i'm business. or that he's leaning little
too heavily against the old red-eye, OF
something Of that sort. You know all
about Jake. You've known him ever since
he went TO the old Force School. and you
know that he's ali right. barring a few
little eccentr.cities OF character whic',
have brought anon him little occasional
chunks of punk luck. which come TO all
ha ads Of Us.
No" YOU reply. not knowing what the
he-gossip is getting at. What about
Jake
Well don't let any o this trickle out
q YOUR system. matey.' lnslnuatlhsIy
goes or the he-gossip, "but-well. i heard
the wimmen folks at home say his vile
thinking of getting div
Right here, Here is the place D
paste the he-gossip, Before he gets any
further, don't mean literally paste
him; but call him. Shut him up, stake
him to little Noley of poisonous Ian
guage. and effectually put the extinguish-
err on and roll the crusher over MN
There's never going to he any better time.
Hand il to him quick. Don't let him get
away with il.
CLARENCE l.. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-22

| did not, as a girl. study for grand OPP
era: but here | am giving voice to the
usual perversity of stage folk who. after
they succeed at one branch of their art
infa libby feel that they have made a mis-.
take and that they should have taken up
some other branch for which they weri
not in the least adapted!
CLARENCE l.. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-10-22
u EPRES EN- T ALIVE
IN Hobson's Statement Re-

II Hobson's Statement Re-
garding Present Day
Marksmen-Says 1t Would
Be Impossible to Recruit a
Brigade of Men in Territory
East of Mississippi Who
Could Qualify as Marksnen
Washington Has Some
Crack Shots" The School
boys Practice and Their
Averages-Effect of Such
Training.
In case 81 war with hr~; class power III"
United states would find it impossible I" re-
crrIit brigade of men in IN" entir" territory
esst ~ the Mississippi river who coiiid Gusi-
'fv - mark smPu that i. aside rom the
National Guard. - Representative Richmond
Pearson IIutt>ou.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
A Ship Three Blocks Long,

The managers of the White Star
Steamship line has announced that
the Olympic, the leviathan which
has been building at Belfast for
four years and is the largest vessel
that was ever flOated, will sail on
her maiden voyage to the United
States on the 18th of June and
will be followed a few months later
by her sister ship, the Titanic, which
is of similar size and carrying ca
pacity. 1t was supposed by lay
men that the limit had been reach
ed when the keels of these monster
had been laid. but now comes the
Hamburg American Company with
the announcement that the Vulcan
shipyard at Stettin has laid the
kneel of a ship for that company
to be called the Europa" = which is
891 feet in length, or Fl feet longer,
four feet wider, has a larger ton
mage by 5000 tons and a horse
power greater by 10000 than the
Olympic, and be capable of carry
ing $3.50 passengers, or 1000 more
than anything that floats.
1t will also be the most expensive
ever built, costing $7,500000.
The Europa will be 100 feet
longer than the capitol at Washing
ton; she will be, 1926 feet longer
than the Washington monument is
high, and if set up on her stern her
bow would reach higher than the
lantern on the tower of the Metro
! pOlitan Insurance Building in New
York, which is the tallest object
created by human hands.
The expansion of the steamship,
both of mercantile marine and of
the fighting class, is as remarkable
as the development of any other
science or trade, and the rivalry for
the supremacy Of the sea between
the merchant lines is as keen as
between the navies Of the great
powers, notwithstanding the fact
that the government Of the United
States is about e prosecute the
former for bsine too friendly. Xxx.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

we know from the travels of an
English army officer in this country
So there was fun at spelling bee
and still is where the bee mana
geS to survives. Modern pedagogic
methods are fatal to it. The school
children now do not learn their let
ters-they just read them. The lit
tie boy who after encountering the
alphabet wondered if it were worth
while to 60 through so much to get
so little was born too soon. Little
boys born now do not have to 60
through the alphabet they do not
learn to spell; their Deficiencies in
this direction are on record in the
lamentations of many of the Eng
lish departments of our colleges.
And not learning to spell they
cannot have the joys, the thrills,
the triumphs of the spelling bee but
in Bowling Green, in Ole Mizzourah
they can spell. The circus doesn't
draw greater crowd than a recent
spelling bee which crowded the Pike
county court house to its utmost
capacity. Twenty-three sturdy
youths and maidens of marked ne
monte might lined up in the contest
umpired by the County Commits
sioner of schools. Ten thousand
words had been carefully selected to
discomfit them, yet after twelve
hours with the floor ofthe courthouse
knee-deep with dismembered words
six gladiators survived and the
struggle was adjourned till the fol-
lowing day.
For five more hours the contest
ragged and one by one four more of
the dSplrdntS tOr literary lame sue
cumbed. Misses Margaret Patter-
son and Ruth Crenshaw were the
sole survivors of the band of TWEEN
ty-three. Then Margaret put up a
superAuous p" and all her hopes
into "sepulchre" and Ruth remained
the proudest and most distinguish
ed person in Pike county, Mizzou-
rah In seventeen hours $500
words had been analzyed into their
Constituent elements and Pike
county will long resound with the
praises of the star spoilers. -Phila-
delphia Record.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
Did Her Best.

A little girl sat in a doctors of
flee waiting patiently until her
mothers turn came to 90 to the
dentists chair. The room was fill.
ed with patients, for it was the
common waiting room for four doc
tors Every one sat and watched
the child, who smiled at each in
turn, beginning at the right aud 60
ing around in a circle. She re,
ceived some pleasant responses at
first, but finally they grew scarce
Nothing daunted, she kept right on
making grimaces until her mother
in evaporation said:
Julia, what are you doing?"
Don't have to, mother?" AnC
the little maid pointed to sier
tackled up over the stenoghrapher'.
desk, Keep on Smiling."-Lippin,
colts.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

The high tariff which our Repub-
lican friends have given America
causes the people of this country to
pay a higher price for American
made goods than these same goods
sell for in the open markets of the
world after paying the freight for
thousands of miles. and these goods
are not sold in foreign countries at
less than cost. There is no reason
why American made goods should
not be sold in America as cheap as
they are sold anywhere in the
world.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

The farmer has to sell his pro-
ducts on the open markets of the
world, but under the Payne law,
when a farmer goes to buy any
machinery, clothing, or in fact any
thing he finds a high tariff wall
against him and this high tariff
benefits the great trusts and monop-
olies in that it enables them to
exact more dollars from the farmer
than they should
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

Should what is known as the
the farmers bill in the House be,
come a law it will save to the
American people millions of dollars
every year and would not take
much from the receipts of the Fed
eral government, 1t would, how
ever, take millions from the great
monopOlies and thus help the farm
ers and laborers. If the great manu-
facturers can ship their products
across the ocean and sell at a price
they can sell the same goods in
America at the same price, but
they sell at a much higher price
and the higher price which the
American has to pay goes into the
nav of the great trusts and is TAX
en- away from the people to whom
it rightfully belongs. The Demo
Gratis stand for the interests of thu
people.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
Her Harem Skirt.

| have brand new harem skirt
Of satin rich and black,
With beaded gimp around the legs
And buttons up the back.
Each day take it from the box
In which it folded lies,
To gaze upon its sable sheen
With fascinated eyes.
| shake it out. and smooth it down
On sofa, chair or bed,
Its shining, bifurcated length
Admiringly | spread.
Then for its narrow box again
| mournfully prepare it,
Because | havn't got the nerve
To put it on and wear it.
New York Press.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
Smith Discusses Crime.

James H. Smith, Chief of Detec-
tives, while talking yesterday about
youth and crime, agreed with Judge
OSullivan of New York, who said
most of the crime in this country is
committed by persons between II
and "a years old.
Ninety per cent of the crime in
this country" is committed by boys
and young men between the ages
OF II and "a years.
"One reason for this is that the
older criminal lack one incentive to
crime that appeals strongly to boys.
The old criminal gets to be an old
story. He is spotted whenever he
appears in new town and is pick
ed up and turned loose time after
time.
The newspapers pay little atten-
ton to him and he has lost all zeSt
for notoriety.
Put it is not so with the boy.
When he sets out to be a criminal
he enters new world.
When the news of his depreda-
tons appears in the papers, some
times grossly exaggerated by yellow
journals, he gloats over the notorlety
he has achieved. He loves it, and
when he gets the chance he does
other and worse things. He wants
to repeat the experience" Post
Dispatch.
We have received a bunch Of
postal cards from the American
Protective Tariff league opposing
the Canadian tariff agreement and
requesting US to have them signed
and forwarded to our representa-
tives in congress. This league is
sparing no expense to defeat the
reciprocity agreement This is GER
tainly enough to make every demo
Graf be for it. 1t in our judgement
will be the opening of a period of
prosperity for North America never
equaled in the past. Along with it
will certainly 60 reasonable tariff
reform. 1t will be the beginning of
reforms that will stop the piling up
of the mammoth unearned fortunes
Missouri'S representatives are of
course solidly for it.-Ex.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
Card of Thanks.

We take this method of thanking
the neighbors and friends for their
kindness and rememberances in our
sad bereavement, caused by the
death of husband and father.
Also the floral offerings and for
their kind attention in sickness in
our family during the past winter.
Mrs. Mary HardeSty and Family.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
Sc. Us:;:;zIae7 +:
Monuments.

The jay is found in all specula-
tive markets. The eagle is the bull
bird, the hawk the bold bear dasher
The stormy petrol is your adventur-
er for finance. The vulture lives on
speculative Offal. Then there are
the cute little broilers and-the
Robin. The parrot is always chat
terine the opinions, for which he
has to depend upon the makers of
Wall Street thought.-Financial
america
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

Attorney General Major is prov
ing very efficient as legal repreSen-
tative of Missouri and from all
parts of Missouri you can hear the
call for Major to be Governor, He
is broad minded, liberal, able, a
patriot who will look after the in
tere5ts of all the people.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
Garden Seed.

The Democrat is in receipt of a
OF of garden seed for free distribu-
ton with the compliments of Con-
gresham w. w. Rucker. Call early
as they will soon be gone. None
will be given to children unless on
written order from parents.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

Should the Canadian reciprocity
measure and what is known as the
Farmers Bill which the Democrats
of the House will pass and both
become laws they will bring to
America great prosperity.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
Stirring Times In Bowling Green.

Hosea Biglow admitted that
there wuz fun to a CORVALLIS" 5y
which forgotten word, reminiscent
of great event at Yorktown, Va.
was meant a militia muster or a
parade = one Of the great occasions
for merry-making as late as 1870 as
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

j. S. Harris will enlarge your
Picture absolutely FREE. with each
Ten Dollars worth of goods purchas-
ed, cash or produce. The agents
will call and see you. APT.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

Hadley has proven himself par
tiSan and not a patriot by vetoing
several good bills passed by the
legislature.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

E. W. Harland is Strengthening
up and putting the Bebbs Jewelry
Store in order. The new firm will
be ready for business in a day or
two.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
Salt on Land.

One of the effects of the use of
salt on land is TO increase the capa-
city of the soil for retaining mois-
ture. About one barrel per acre
has been known to benefit grass
during periods of drOuth, the salt
being applied in May. Kainit con-
tains a large proportion of salt, as
well as about IL per cent of potash,
and may be used in preference.
Mrs. E. G. Swan of Franklin, Mo,
who has been visiting in Hunnewell
for some time, changed cars here
Friday on her way home. While
here Mrs. Swan was the guest of
her friends, Rev. and Mrs. W. P.
Wynn, of this city,
The fine stopper, Heir-at-law
2.13 IA, goes to H. E. Clark's train
ing stables this season.
C. P. Donovan was in Shelbina on
business Tuesday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
THURSDAY, APRIL 81, 1911

Missouri is paying too much for
the whistle in maintaining TOler-
toms game warden department
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

Remember band and orchestra at
Gem Theatre every Tuesday even
ing. Process for the band.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27
TERMS SI.OO PR YEAR

Entered at the postoffice at Monroe
City, Mo-, as second-class matter.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

John White and wife were at the
bedside of their aunt, Mrs. Andy
Sullivan of Perry part of last week.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

Mrs. j. s. Stephenson returned
from Madison, Saturday, where she
visited friends and relatives.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

Walter H. Moss was in Quincy
Monday to consult DR.. Christie. He
is not getting along as well as his
friends desire.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

John Duer and Claude Heron of
Hunnewell, were Monroe visitors
Tuesday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

Mrs. E. j. Hubbard is the guest
of friends and relatives in and near
HunneWell.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

Miss Wayne WeSthOff returned
to Quincy, where she is attending
college. Sunday, after a weeks visit
with her mother.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-04-27

Band and orchestra at the Gem
Theatre every Tuesday evening.
Proceeds for benefit of the band.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1911-04-25
noe,or. and other Good Thlnss.

Doctors and Other Good Thinss.
DR.. Henry s. Pritchett. the president
NJ the Carnegie foundation. recently
nointed out that America supports too
many pbysicians-three times q
many, in proportion to the population
as Europe. :.
Advertins to this matter 1t recep
t,on. Doctor Pritchett said humor'
ously:
with our supernux Of physicians
we are rather like tho man who foil
Ill.
"srm very sorry you are ILL., . caller
said to him. What seems to be the
trouble?'
"The patient groaned and replied: !,
".well, you see. it's that health
food. Splendid stun. you know:l took
such a liking to tit did me 20 much
good
"A paroxysm Of pain seised Elm.
After it was gone he resumed In Q
faint voice:
Journal.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1911-04-25
ZION CITY VOTERS IN RIOT.
4ostiIities Result From Mayoralty Con.
test-PoIiee Stop Turmoil.

4ostiIities Result From Mayoraity Con.
test-PoIice Stop Turmoil.
Chicago, April 10. - Election rows,
which began before the polls opened
1t Zion City and which continued inter.
nittently until the voting concluded,
broke out afresh after the ballots in
the mayoralty contest had been count
ed and the result announced. The
inal count showed that w. Hurd Glen
denim, who had received the aid Of
Wilbur Glenn Voliva. successor to John
Alexander Dowie, had been elected by
majority of five votes in total of
little more than 1000 votes cast.
Supporters of ]. A. Goudie, heading
the independent ticket, Immediately
made charges of fraud, alleging that
be had been counted out.
Chief of Police j. l.. Hoover and
four of his aides, who had been sworn
In as special policemen, We're arrested
by Sheriff Green, of Waukegan, and .
force of Is deputies. They were taken
TO Waukegan and released on bond.
The arrival of the Waukegan sher.
If with numerous deputies prevented
any need OF troops.
.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1911-04-25

material required for stage-setting the
celebration. The initiation Of the en-
tire ships company followed. When
the ceremonies were at an end. each
was presented with an elaborate
document stating that the owner had
paid his respects to Neptune in prop
er form, and that hereafter, according
to the proverbial custom of the seas,
he would be permitted to cross the
line without further initiation.
On the morning the Bluecher
neared the equator, Neptune and his
court, deliberately costumed. took
their places on an improvised throne
on the upper deck. One by one the
luckless tourists were ceremoniously
taken before the king who judged
the case and announced the penalty.
The prisoner was sentenced to re-
ceive either a hair cut. bath or .
shave, or all three. Escape was i'm
possible. Those who attempted to
dodge the judge by hiding were
sought out by four brawny "police-
men" Even the women were initiated,
but more mildly.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1911-04-25
SUSPICIOUS.

He's been 30 very nice to me
OF late; / wonder why It's SO.
Before. whene'er we CHANGED to meet
He'd very seldom say: "Hello!
But now he stops to take my hand
And breathes the hope that ! am we0
His manners hard to. understand.
wonder what he has to sell.
He stopped me on the street today.
And asked me II I'd like smoke.
And many were the pleasant things
About my work that fellow spoke
He patted me upon the back
And said that he admired me much.
I'm really quite suspicious. he
10 laying plans to make a touch.
Whenever a brother gets too kind
Or suddenly becomes polite.
I've grown to think baited hook
10 dangling near for me to bite.
I've learned some things upon this earth.
And some. indeed. were to my sorrow.
When man effusive grows-beware!
He wants to sell or wants to borrow.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1911-04-25
CONDUCTOR HAD WRONG IDEA
Thought He Was Going to Save I
Life. but Didn't Get the
Chance.

Here's another one about woman.
She was one Of the three or four pas
sengers scattered over Shaker
Lakes car recently. Also she wore
dark, spotted veil that gave an air Of
mystery TO her appearance.
The conductor. when he looked up
casually from his work Of jotting
down the trip statistics on . heavy
MANILA card. saw her watching him
furtively. stealthily. From him she
would turn her glance toward the 9TH
or passengers to make sure she was
not observed. After he'd returned to
his bookkeeping the conductor. keep
Ing tab on her out Of the tail Of his
eye. saw her reach into . little black
sahchel and take something out. Then
her supple form became almost rigid
q she again cast searching glance
In his direction to ascertain II there
ives danger of him. seeing what she
was about to do.
He became really alarmed. Per.
haps this woman was wrestling with .
great secret sorrow and was about
to commit suicide? Was It small
dagger or q vial Of poison that she
was taking from her satchel? He
went ahead jotting down figures on
his card, 60 that she wouldn't know
he had guessed her awful plan. but
he held himself In readiness TO spring
mon her In time to prevent her deed
Of self-destruction. He had never had
Q suicide on his car.
She raised up the dark veil. FUN
bled at something concealed in her
hap and started to lift her hand to her
face. The conductor rushed forward.
But he checked himself just % he
was about to detain her hand and
went on up as II to speak to the mo"
torman. For all the woman had been
liking to do was to apply her powder
rag for moment to the shiny part q
her nose. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1911-04-25
Midnight in the Ozarks

and yet sleepless Hiram Scranton, Of
Clay City, ILL.,, coughed and coughed.
He was in the mountains on the advice
of five doctors, who said he had con-
sumption. but found no help in the eli
mate, snd started home. Hearing of
DR.. Kings New Discovery, he began
to use it. II believe it saved my life, :"
he writes "eor it made new man of
me, SO that can now do good work
again. For all lung diseases, coughs,
colds, la grippe, asthma. Group, whoop-
ing cough, hay fever, hemorrhages or
quinsy, its the hest known remedy
Price SOC and 81 co. Trial bottle free.
Guaranteed by P. A. Clemmer. +
When medicine must be given to
young chldr, il should be pleasant to
tase Chamherlain's Cough Remedy
is m 'de from loaf sugar. and the roots
used in its preparation give it a flavor
similar to maple syrup, making it
pleasant to take. 1t has no superior
for colde, Group and whoopinE cough.
For sails by ell dealers.