Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-04-05
OLD ENGLISH HUM0R
The Brand Of Laugh Extractors
Used Two Centuries Ago.
IN ZOE MILLER'S JEST BOOK"

A Selection Of Specimen Jokes From
the Venerable Volume That Mari
Twain Was Moved to Call the AIph,
and Omega Of Detected Humor.
The zoe Miller Jest Book"-lt 1:
famous. Mark Twain mentions 1t Al
the alpha and omega Of detected hu
NOR. 1t is unrlvaled, Incompatible
apart. Further, it is English-very
English.
Possibly the latter phenomenon is re
sponsible for the difficulty searches
had in finding an unrevised copy. Aft
or an afternoon Of search q second
hand but scarcely worn copy finally
was discovered in a little bookstore
The bookseller eyed the buyer curious
~, but with some awe, and seemed
very glad to get rid Of it for % cents.
Twenty-Five cents! How instantly
reminiscent of one OF the Joe Miller
pau uOAS JSStSs
THE LIGHT SUBJECT.
The government, having threatened t.
proceed vigorously against those who re-
fused to pay assessed taxes. offered to
them q remission of one-fourth This al
least" said one sufferer, may be called
giving them some quarter"
You can get that of in your very
next after dinner speech. You can put
a little accent on one-fourth and quar-
ter and get quite as loud a laugh.
Second specimen Ut must be remem-
bered that the jest book was compiled
in the early part of the eighteenth
century, when there were librarians;
therefore the jests that aren't blamed
on lords are mostly charged to writ
ers):
A DIFFERENCE.
Jerrold one day met q Scotch gentleman
whose name was Leitch, who explained
John Leech. Pm aware Of that" said
Jerrold. "You're the scotchman with the
itch in your name."
There! Just think Of the triumph with
which Mr.. Jerrold later related that Quip
to his friends.
Specimen:
THE CONNO1ssEUR.
A person to whom the curiosities. build
ings, ETC., in Oxford were shown one very
hot day was asked by his companion II
he would see the remainder of the univer-
sity. my dear SIR" replied the connois-
seur, Il am stone blind already"
Whether the friend expired in
epasms Of mirth or subsequently was
hanged for mayhem the jest book
doesn't say.
The wit Of the Irish is called in too.
Specimens:
A sPRIG OF SaILLALAH.
A fellow on the quay, thinking to quiz
q Door Irishman, asked him, "How do the
potatoes eat now. PATTI" The Irish lad
who happened to have q shillalah in his
hand, answered .cleverly: "Oh. they eat
taste the stalk?'' And, knocking the in
Quirer down, he coolly walked of.
Probably it was a good thing he
knocked him down first.
Turning to the middle Of the book
there are 400 pages-Joe breaks into
verse:
ON THE LATIN GERuNDs.
When Dido mourned, Aeneas would not
come.
She wept in silence and was Di-Do-Dumb.
Classic?
Here's
A BAD END
It was told of .Jekyll that ono of his
friends, a brewer. had been drowned In
his own vat. :Ah," he exclaimed. 'thoat-
ing in his own watery :bier!"
Right off the bat that.
There's little Johnny also. He drops
in during jest:
THE sEAsoN-1NGs.
"Come here. Johnny. and tell me what
the four seasons are
Young Prodigy-Pepper. salt. mustard
and vinegar.
Here's a little shot ut politics and
the peer system:
EPIGRAM.
ION Alderman Woods being afraid to
pledge himself to even tho principles he
has always professod)
Sure in the house he'll do but little good
Who lets Il dare not wait upon II.
Wood" Il would.
Oh, listen! Talk about your ,origi-
nality:
A SHORT JOURNEY.
'.Zounds. fellowI" exclaimed . oholsric
Old gentleman to Q very phlegmatic. mat
ter of fact person. II shall 90 out OF my
Wits"
"Ws,l. you won't have far - g." said
tie phlegmatic man.
Yes, and here's 4 small ebu]litdon
from 4 dramatist:
OLD TRIEND0.
Coleman. The Asamatist. vas asked II
10 knew Thsodore Hook. Eyes," replied
the wit. ''Heok and eye ars old assoca-
Atao."
Hook was not present ut tho time.
The courts also come through WITH
4 few ssms:
NEW RELATIONSHIP.
A stranger 70 law courts, hearing .
Judge call sergeant 'brothor," expressed
his sufprise. asOh," aid - q ~ b..
ISLANDERS, "they are brothers AeotAoro =
law"
And speaking of repartee:
A STUMBLING ANDWDR.
Two Oxonisus diadng together. go Ct
them noticed . grease spot On tho oock.
cloth Of his companion ana eaA, Il ~
you are = Grecisn."
"Poehv' said the ether. THAT = far
fetched"