The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-22
WHEN wAocENER WAS SICK.

/ Considerable space has been det
voted to the illness of Hon. Bailie
! Waggener OF Atchison, Kan. because
4 said illness points a moral if II does
/ not adora a tale AS previously re-
! lated. Mr. Waggener had an attack
Of bellyache Of the old fashioned
kind FIJI the days Of his youth his
grandmother would have given him
| pint OF ginger tea, and in an hour
he would have been ready to 20 fish
| ing But Battle is rich and promin-
ent and the doctors have been ach-
ing to cut him open for years Death
love a shining mark aud the doctors
love a conspicuous patient
SO when the doctors heard that
Mr. Waggener had the bellyache they
camped on his trail and argued so
long and earnestly they finally con-
yinced him he mad appendicitis. lt
can be said TO the credit of Bailie
that he didn't yield for long time.
Had this been the first attack Of the
doctors he probably would have re-
sisted them, but for three years they
have been begging him to take an
anaesthetic and let them slice him
up The constant drop of water will
wear away the hardest stone and the
tireless energy Of the doctors final
ly oyercame Bales power OF resist
ance and he consented to an opera
tion, Just to get rid Of the importun-
titles OF .the saw bones and have some
peace.
One can imagine the joyful ghost
dancing OF the doctors when they
finally achieved their victory They
held a council Of war and decided TO
ship Bailie to Minnesota. When an
operation is decided upon and the
patient has plenty of money, the doc
tors always ship him away some
where IT wouldn't do to carve him
up at home Such a proceeding
would lack dignity, and would knock
the stuffing out Of the ethics of the
profession When rich man in
Minnesota has the bellyache they
ship him to Kansas for an opera
tion and when a rich Kansas man
has the bellyache, they shnp nim to
Minnesota ihus do we see the ad-
vantages Of reciprocity, and the rail
ways gel quite a raleoft.
Well, they shipped this unfortun-
ate Mr. Waggener to the sacritiGial |
altar In Minnesota and he went into |
raining fer the ordeal. The doctors |
swamed around him and dieted him |
and kept tab on his pulse and re- |
spiratioa, and issued hourly bulle- |
tins-and all the time Mr.. Waggen |
en- was as well as he ever had been |
In his life. There wasn't a thing |
the matter with him except cold |
feet The doctors had simply bluff
ed him into believing that be had
So finally after much preparation
and graadstand work they placed
the victim on their disseeting table
and Weat 10 work with tbeir can op-
eners and found that he had no
sign of appendicitis They sent word J
TO Atchis0n that while Balie didn't
lavp anything wrong witn his appeu-
dix his dWeitieulUn was out OF
whack and another operation would
be necessary
The Atohison doctors took down
their old medical books and rustled
through them trying to discover
what a dlve1iculum WAS, and after
much searching thoy put ou "a grave |
appearance and shook their heads
lud said the ease was serious indeed
and IL was well that Mr. Waggener
had been carved. When things 20
wrong with tie dWerticuum the7e rs
he devil 20 pay None OF the doe
ors had ever heard of a dWorticu.
ann before bul when it was called I
10 their attention they realized that |
3 was the real tung
So poor old Bailie has to be
'horpCd some mole and it VIII b.
weeks before he can leave the Min.
iesota slaughter house aud AN be
.aNsc ne bad q little pain in his n.
.ides The doctors may look wise
na make explanations uuui che
oWs come home hul they can't GEL
around lae Haci that they diagnOsed
.is oeIyache as appendicitis and
-rl toUrd ~ lli -0 sauh disease.
WILLIAM AI1lN WHITE.