davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
QUAKER MEDITATTONs.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.I
Factions speak louder than words
in politics.
Some people are almost as change
able as luck
The finger Of scorn is a part Of the
hand Of fate.
Many a mother spares the rod and
spoils the slipper.
Delicate people shouldn't go in 1or
fencing. 1t might make them feint.
Don't throw your cares to the wind
unless it is blowing away from you
The fellow who spends his money
before he gets it is apt to get 1t in
the neck.
The most brilliant people are not al
ways those who cast reflections on 9TH
ers.
A man isn't much good unless he
tries to deserve the good opinion he has
Of himself.
Woman will become a power IN poll
tics Just as soon as she can pack a
convention as successfully as she can
pack trunk
Blobbs-"What does your wife say
when you stay out late playing poker?'
Slobbs-'Well, that depends upon
whether have won or lost"
FOR two weeks" said the returned
explorer, "I was without food, but one
day I found calendar" What good
did that do your" asked ths skeptfcal
listener ''I Immediately ate the dates.
Replied the explorer, unbl'1shingly-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

mans case. I'll give him to UNDER
stand that he can't walk over mel"
Good for you, ma'am.''
But next day they met almost on the
dividing line. Miss Spriggs was out
pruning a rose bush. and Mr. Smith
went out to recover a slipper the dog
had run off with. The Two stood and
stared at each other. They recalled
those notes. They recalled the scalded
dog and the shotgun. They tried to
look fierce, but it was no use. They
didn't look as each expected the other
to- Mr.. Smith raised his hat, and Miss
Spriggs smiled. Mr.. Smith said 1t was
a fine day, and Miss Spriggs said it was
charming.
People say that in the fall they will
be married.-(Copyrig 1911, by As
ISOLATED Literary Press.l
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

ships Will carry ten of these mighty
guns. Each gun costs about $4,000.
and it costs another $4,000 to mount
each gun on its ship. The guns dis-
charge projectiles weighing 400 pounds
each. And it is said that such a pro-
pectile win pierce any system of armor
plating which has yet been devised.
The shell and powder for one such shot
costs 500.
In other words if all the ten guns
on one OF these ships could be fred
in one broadstde, the cost for powder
and shell would be $1,000 In a fight
Of few hours one Of these battleships
would eat up a small fortune for pow
der and shell. enough to establish an
agricultural college worth while and
run it for a few years. But even in
the piping times of peace, when there
is not an all day fight going on, the
mere investment in these guns repre-
sents $750,000 per ship for the guns
alone in addition to the $500. 900 that
it takes to mount them. And presumably
in the few years time. the guns will
be out of date and only fit for the naval
scrap-piie.
Is 1t any wonder that earnest striv-
ings are going on these days to bring
about a universal peace. to obviate thu
necessity of maintaining navies so e,1-
pensive that they already threaten TO
bankrupt two or three of the nations
that are navy-mad?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison Globe.l

IFrem the Atchison Globe.l
If you're game you will go after the
hard ones.
Did it ever occur to you that prob
ably you are too busy?
Every irrigated country has so much
land that isn't irrigated.
The cabbage worm is not only a pest,
but a poor judge of things to eat.
Too many women demonstrate their
will power by bossing their husbands.
About all that can be said in favor
of a knocker is that he is live one.
The quickest dirt starter isn't always
soap; there is the mud-slinger, for in
stance.
Sometimes on the stage, as in real
life. the villain is a better actor than
the hero.
It may be just as easy to get out of
jail as it is to get in, but it takes more
time.
Paint on a house is an investment.
but good many people still consider
it an expense.
It has been repeatedly demonstrated
that no man can drink it all. You
needn't try that.
What finally became of the stereo-
scopic views which used TO clutter up
the center table?
An Atchison man is so conservative
that he won't admit an egg Is laid
after it's in cold storage.
You have such a good memory; no
doubt you always remember your
friends when you need them.
Flies have such a mean disposition
on a rainy day that there is a suspicion
that they have rheumatism
When a circus surpasses the prom
ises Of its posters, that will be the
Greatest Show on Earth, all right.
Before getting into deep water. it is
a good idea to know how to swim.
Which may mean number of things.
A man who makes living off of ten
acres has to work about as hard as
the man who farms q quarter section
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
HUAOR OF THE Day

DO you smoke cigarettes7" asked the
head Of the firm. Yes" replied the ap-
plicant for the position of office boy s'bIit
amt got no grandmother Twin Chi
cago Record-Herald.
Mrs. Piffle asked Mr.. Piffle for new
hat yesterday" What gave her the no
tion?' 1.-THE home team won. "-Birming-
ham Age-Herald.
ION Bonded knee I begged her for a
kiss" And what did she say7" Told
me to get up and be practical.'-Louisville
Courier
An Added Interest.-Parvenu formerly
butcher)-AH my books are bound in
calf. Friend-ReaIly? Parvenu-Yes, and
every calf killed by my own hand.-Pele
Mele.
Mrs. Helbrau-Don't you just love
Browning? Mrs. Rufnels-Shl might. but
my husband has such a jealous DISPOSE
ton. Er-have I been introduced to this
Mr.. Browning ?-Toledo Blade.
Suburban Gall.-Wife-We lent that man
some grass seed last month I suppose
he came over just now to return It. Hub
No, to borrow our lawn mower.-Eix-
change
Cure.-"War with Japan seems i'm
minent. These dreadful rumors alarm
me-" TOO bad" what you'd you do2"
well, think would switch magazines"
kansas City Journal.
marked the crossroads philosopher, is
a sort of human vacuum cleaner He
gets the dust and you can't see exactly
how he does it."-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
Sharing the Rod

The announcement that birching has
been dispensed with in the upper school
by the headmaster Of Elton has elected
a number of impassioned protests and
regrets from old Etonians and public
school boys.
If the boys of Elton today would
rather write out 500 lines than take a
birching. they must indeed, have alter
ed extra ordinarily from those of 40. or
even 10. years ago. We cannot believe
that the reform will be popular with
those whom it will most affect. And
has anybody ever met a sensible man
who deplored the fact that he had been
birched at school or who did not admit
that such birchings as he had received,
had done him a great deal of good?
Our own view. for what it is worth.
is entirely on the side of the birchers
We have vivid recoIlections of certain
melting moments rich in anguish. with
the air darkened by the headmaster, s
flying gown, and trembling to the swish
and the snacks of his weil-plied inn
plement. The experience was less pleas
ing than picturesque at the moment,
but-well. truth viii out sooner or la
ter. and we have been nothing but
grateful for It ever since.-Pan Mall
Gazette
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
LAYHAWKER JOTS

Experience has taught the Cuba
Daylight that chigger is a good deal
buster for its size than the ant or
the bee.
Earl Akers has figured it out that
men have more temptations than Wo-
men because they know where to look
for them.
1t occurs to the Marysvilie Advo-
cate-Democrat that if Diogenes had
been looking for trouble he would not
have needed a lantern.
Everybody seems to be uneasy
about something" reports the Center
Hill correspondent of the Randolph En-
terprise. TT must be the weather"
Maybe it's chiggers.
They are so wrought up over a burg
lar scare in Syracuse that three boys
were arrested there the other night for
hiding in a private yard while play
ing Run Sheep. Run
Arthur Capper let contract for a
new residence in Topeka recently, notes
Charlie Blakesley, regardless of the
knowledge that the state provides a
very comfortable mansion for the chief
executive.
A gentle hint from the Spring Hill
New Era: The man who expects TO
get to heaven ought to pay his sub
scription to the local paper and not
tempt the editor to swear. Honesty
counts with ST. Peter.
According to the Council Grove
Guard twenty-five young people went
on fishing party recently. They fixed
up the fish they caught for supper and
for additional eats had everything
suitable for a picnic from pickles to
cake
We can think of no greater deception,
says Editor Wilkerson in his Spring
Hill New Era, than the practice some
merchants have of advertising cool AMI
comfortable underwear at this time OF
year. We have not been able to find
any of that kind.
A little black dog, running around in
circles and otherwise disporting him
self in a gay manner in the southern
part of town mixed it up with a, certain
young woman last night, much to her
annoyance. The dog was not mad, but
the girl was.-Winfield Courier.
Crow ,ggs are worth one cent each
and crow heads are worth five cents
each. This is the bounty paid by the
county as an incentive for the destruc-
ton Of the crow pest. The Sentinel OF
Glen Elder tells of a boy in that vicin-
ity who has an eye for business. He
robs crows nests and matches the eggs
in an incubator to get the extra four
cents
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News.l

IFrom the Chicago News.]
Some men do not believe in their own
beliefs.
Aeroplanes viii have to be used by
air castle dWellers-
A girl is anxious to make name
for herself by marriage
Second love is like second childhood
q skim milk affair. at best.
A dog isn't a dentist, even II ne
does occasionally insert teeth.
A man can always please a woman
by. telling her that she pleases him.
Did you ever see a self-made man
who was dissatisfied with the job?
Occasionally q girl points the finger
OF scorn to show off her rings
A woman's idea Of a model husband
is one who does just as she Dleases-
The mosquito is saddest when he
stings-unless he makes quick get
away
After writing love letter it may
take a man quite while to right him
self.
A truly great orator is one who can
say the most convincing things in the
fewest. words.
Some people seem to get round
should cred from carrying the respon-
sibility of things that do not concern
them an the least.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Popularity that is only attained
through lavish expenditures seldom lasts
very long.
One of the games that requires
more nerve than skill to play with sue
cess is politics.
At any rate, the shorn lamb has
qualified for one of the degrees in the
school of experience.
If many a man was as big as he
feels, there would not be room for any
one else on the sidewalk
There would be more Of an excuse
for eating with a knife, if that in
strument was at all serviceable as a
food carrier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
FROM OTHER PENS
THE MoTHER-1N-LAW.

The Wilkesbarre workers are at it
again. This time a chap wants his
mother-in-law arrested for bewitchiug
him, making his hair fall out. What do
you think about that? The poor piece of
putty has asked Alderman Donohue,
who pulls the people Of Wilkesbarre,
to put his wife's mother in hoe" MY
wife declared" he explained to the al
derman, that she would stick by me IS
long as 1 had q hair in my head. Since
then my mother-in-law has been be
witching me and making my hair fall
out in punches, thinking that she VIII
get my wife to leave me. Every time
she combs her hair she takes the comb
ings, does some pow-wowing over thems
burns them and then tells the ashes to
make my hair fall out. Ever since she
has done it my hair has been coming
out in punches and I'm afraid that I'll
lose my hair and my wife as we'll" The
alderman shook his head. You have
my sympathy" he said, but there is
no law in Pennsylvania that makes
good tonic for falling hair" There
must be something else the matter
with this man besides telling of the
hair, and it's our humble opinion that
he's taking either a few high balls"
too many or too few, but we can hard
ly think that a Wilkesbarre man would
be guilty of the latter.-New Orleans
Picayune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
fFrom the New York Press.l

from the New YORK Press.I
Excuses may butter no parsnipss but
they hold down the divorce record.
The way for a woman not to be an
old cat is to notice how anothers fig
ure has improved.
The reason the average man isn't a
bigger fool than he is is he hasn't
learned how to be yet, but he will.
Man at times works eight hours q
day at business under protest, woman
at home without complaint about every
hour she is out Of bed
The only good husband is the one
who can lose SO out of his pocket in
his own bedroom and not say a word
because it wasn't twenty.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
SAVING AND EARNING.

A Chicago millionaire came to this
country in 1871. with Il cents in his
pocket. The other day, referring to it,
he said he laid down this rule: Never
to be out of work and never to spend
as much as you earn 1t was that
rule that made him millionaire, and
that is the kind of millionaire that is
entitled to honor.
His idea is that it is good for man
to save, for economy IS healthy
habit AS rule men can live on half
they spend, have better health, and can
do more work. Let man sit down
and make a list of what he needs, not
scantily but bountifully, and he will be
surprised how many things he can cut
out and yet keep body ard mind in
fine condition
There are many things that one buys
that are the objects of his fancy. He
sees them and wants them; If he didn't
see them he wouldn't want them we
once heard of man who would not go
to market, because he said, he wanted
to buy everything, and succeeded in
buying much he did not need 1t is
possible to live we'll on meals that
average only 10 cents per capita. IN
a school on the West Side they do It,
and that little club of teachers are
hearty and happy as robins in a cherry
tree. We must get out OF the idea that
great chunks of heavy food are requtr-
ed for energy. As a rule they reduce
ft.-Ohio state Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Now that the United States senate
mas decided to make its members pay
out OF their own pockets for such min
eral water as they drink while on duty,
the chances are good that they won't
be so gassy in the future.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

One stock argument with those who
are opposed to woman's suffrage IS
that home is the place for women. It
IS also the truth that home is place
where countless men could pass more
OF their time to their own advantage
and that OF their families.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
VICTORY.

FlOlO1tL.
Though dead the flower.
That, from her tower,
Love flung you in some perfect hour;
Though duenched the light.
That, on the height
Faith built, beacon in the fight;
Though gone the star,
That, seen afar,
Hope lit to guide you through the war;
Yet, draw your sword
And shout your word,
And plunge into the battling hordel
Give Fate the lie,
And, live or die
Yet yours shall be the victory.
Madison Camein, in Hampton's Maya
zine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

The Topeka girl who recently be-
came the wife of Jap had to go
through q couple of marriage cere-
monies before the union was legally
effected. However. she has this con-
ISOLATION to look forward to. Only one
divorce will be necessary.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Subscribers of the Sssto Journal
away from home during the summer
may have tho paper mailed regularly
each day to any address ut the rate of
ten cents a week or thirty cents a
month (by mail onlyl. Address
changed as often as desired. While
ont OF town the State journal VIII be
70 YOU like a daily letter from home.
Advance payment IS requested on
these short time subscriptions. to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

ct have broken all the bonds which
hold me to Mexico is the most re-
cent sentiment expressed by Porfirio
Diaz. But this probably does not re-
fer to such interest bearing bonds as
he was able to gather in while serv-
ing Mexico as its president.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

steps are to be taken by Madero
and his followers to put the Cientifico
party out of business in Mexico. This
IS the grafters party, but a party with
2 name like that ought to be pro-
ceeded against on general principles,
sau1yI1ovs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

If Carrie Nation was obsessed with
a desire for wealth, as man who
served her once in the capacity of a
press agent says, why did she devote
30 much Of her money to charitable
rrrpOses2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Speaking of sour affairs. how about
the first annual convention of the Ma
tionaI Association of Apple Cider
Vinegar Manufacturers which was
held last week at Rochester, n. Y?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

J. p. Morgan fingers in London for
the purpose of seeing how a king is
crowned. notes the Chicago Record
Herald and it adds: 1t may be that his
desire to know is caused by an inten-
tion to have a coronation Of his own
when he returns TO this country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Congressman Murdoch characterizes
the express companies as robbers. And
if Congressman Murdoch and his col
leagues in the house. and the ''au-
gust senators would get busy and
pass a parcels post Law an end would
soon be. put to the brigandage of the
express companies
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

It is reported that the new Lorimer
investigating committee is going clear
to the bottom of the affair. If this is
done it is safe to prophesy that lot
of mud will be found.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

There is this great drawback to cor
onation festivities in England. They
don't come often enough for the shop
keepers, hotel proprietors and the
other folk IN all kinds OF business and
trade in London.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Entitled to a high place among the
nature takers are the rain crews.
They've been yawping in these parts
for the past ten days.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Goods things assuredly come slow. IT
appears that the fight for the direct
election of United States senators has
been waged internationally for no less
than sixty-one years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

what's the matter with the Amer
lean newspaper correspondents in
London? In their reports Of the cor
onation festivities they have failed rs
yet to make any mention of the part
being taken in them by Jack John
son and his fifty suits Of clothes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

This is the time for cartoonists to
dig up their old cartoons portraying
the inflated value of two-carat hunk
OF liver, re-label the package ''spuds, -
and print it for Something Original.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

The State journal is A member Of the
Associated Press and receives the fun day
telegraph report % that great news or
Eanization for the exclusive afternoon
publication II Topeka.
The news is received IN The state jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

And, rawther than wait for you to
think of it yourself, one might add
that some of them will consider It a
propitious time to play the deuce.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
dB|gR|

A family tree" says Hondo Nfur-
pny' is not much good az q shade.
ana It isn't always ornamental. MOI
lroIg ago started to look mine over. 7
Iohowed one promising branch into
kentucky and found so many of INV
iate relatives suspended from the
Ainps that I quit researchinR while
the quitting was good
It was the summer of 1890; the
custodian took the favored visitor
through long corridor to a steel-clad
vault, unlocked the door and busted
himself for moment with the corn
1ihatlon of the inner safe. Arising, h
displayed a two-ounca v!al containing
some strange transparent LIQUID No"
ne preathed, in answer to the visitors
question, 1T is not gaso tene-ft is the
rainfall Of June. 1911"
Serious charge made in a wichita
CLAIMS WATER
COMPANY HAS
GOT ARROGANT
II there be any truth in this charge,
the water company should be forced
TO give 1t up at once. Arrogant" as
We take it is the pet name of Wien
ita's goat
AMERICAN TEN-SPOTS WILL. ALSO
FIGURE LARGELY IN THE
DISPLAY
NOW all the kings and every queen
In all the foreign packs
VIII meet in Lunnon to be seen
In purple dressing sacks.
CThe q. s. furnishes the green"
Likewise the simple jacks.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Disputes are now in order as to Just
which day in the immediate future
will be the longest one in the year.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

General Diaz is also firmly convinc-
ed in his own mind Of the truth Of
the theory that republics are migrate
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Nay, Horace, forbear: don't send in
anything about Jack Johnson being the
logical ace Of spades in the royal flush.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Or, they might use one OF those old
coal famine cartoons, wherein the
proud owner of lump Of anthracite
is shown fling it away in the safe. A
change of label would be equally suffi-
Gent in this instance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Conditions are about normal in
Hayti Another revolution is we'll un-
der way there
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Sir Henry King. the Member of
Parliament who was canned for treat
ing his constituents, may now realize
that 1t is considered bad form to spend
on a personal campaign that which
should be saved for coronation e,r-
penses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

Pursuing the same thought further
into the underbrush: 1t costs a lot to
crown a king, but in England they
don't have to do it every four years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20
rrRMs On sURscRIPTIoN;


FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-20

The name Of the man who was re-
Gently arrested upon complaint OF his
wife, is Kissinger; but he wasn't at the
time.-he was Beatinger
Hep