Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-05-24

Uncle Peter Grant and his old en-
envy, Bill Gray, were squaring of be-
fore the grand clash at the polls; and
as election day drew nearer the fight
waxed fiercer. and Ruraldene seemed
to be very evenly divided for Gray
and for Grant.
Uncle William had not yet attempt
ed to speak In public, but his bench
man, Bunch, was about the busiest
mosquito that ever stung a face.
That boy was all over the place
When he wasn't handing out the Con
talk to the mothers, or buying candy
for the kids, he was down In the Rye
Resorts helping somebody's tide to
Dme In.
And might as well tell you that
wasn't anybody's ossified man myself.
Bunch and hadn't spoken since
that eventful morning when Uncle
Peter called upon me to uphold the
honor of the family.
We sat up nights sharpening the
harpoons for each other, and 1t got so
that every time Bunch doomed up on
the horizon he growled, and every
time he saw me he'd bark and run the
other way.
One day had fash Of Uncle Viii
liam, with Bunch and Alice, hiking all
over town in an automobile, bowling
and smiling and throwing the glad
gaze at the populace.
Uncle William was steering the ben
zine buggy and putting on more dog
than a plate of sausages.
A neat bit of stage business, and
the old geezer made good.
1t was up to me.
1 ducked for the long-distance tele-
phone, called up a Bubble shop in
New York, and ordered motor-car,
painted red, white and blue, sent to
me in Ruraldene at once.
When 1t arrived I told Uncle Peter
that ne and Aunt Martha must snug
gle down in the busy barouche and
steer 1t all over town.
TRY to go some place where the
hoodlums will stone YOU" l advised.
IF you can get a good hard wallop
over the koko with rock 1t will ere
ate an awful lot of sympathy and win
votes for u.s."
Uncle Peter looked the benzine
buggy over and said, why don't you
run the machine, John?"
What! you want me to run the
Bubble" l exclaimed, "and let the
opposition see that you're shine
chauffeurl Nix, Uncle Peter; you've
got to get busy with the choo-choo
cart and do your own steering-for
the honor of the family! Don't give
the public a chance to say that old
Bill Gray is the only guy with the Cog
giles that can blow a Bubble through
the streets of Ruraldene! The rubber
sweater and the Dutch awning over
the forehead for yours and on your
way!"
But, john" protested Uncle Peter
81 never handled a machine like this
before. Do you really think it will
make much difference with the voters
If l don't show my ability as a chauf-
feur?"
"Differencei" l repeated; why. If
you don SNOW tuelu lndC Wien IL
comes to handling an automobuzzard
you have old Bill Gray stung through
the porous plaster, then it's all of!
Hasn't your opponent been out for
hours doing the grapevine twist and
cutting the figure eight through the
business portion of the town, and caus-
ing so many narrow escapes that all
the doctors in the district are watch
ing him--with their fingers crossed?
Cut loose, Uncle Peter. for the honor
of the family. cut loose!"
Finally, with much reluctance, our
candidate and Aunt Martha climbed
into the coal-oil coupe.
/ gave him his final instructions
Now, Uncle Peter" I said, grab
that wheel in front of you firmly with