davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
GREAT TRUTH IN EPIGRAM
Few Words of the Late Edwin A. Alb
hey Contain Whole Sermon
to Misers.

"The late Edwin A. Abbey, the
American painter who lived in Lon
don, was only comfortably of, where
as he might have heen rich"
The speaker, a Chicago art dealer,
had just returned from Europe. He
continued:
Il dined one evening with Abbey in
his house in Chelsea, and after dinner
we walked in the blue twilight on the
Chelsea embankment.
GAS we passed Old Swan House and
Clock House, and the other superb
residences that front the river, / re-
preached Abbey for his extravaganza.
why said, pointing toward Clock
House, If you had saved your money,
you might be living In palace like
that today
"But Abbey, with a laugh, rather
got the better Of me. He ratified of
this epigram-and it's an epigram I'll
always remember when Pm tempted
to be parsimonious:
"'Some folks he said, are SO busy
putting something by for a rainy day
that they get little or no good out of
pleasant weather."
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
Get Positive Proof.
Qualified Prayer.

Marion's mother was Ill, and the
aunt who took her place at the head
of the household piled the children
with unaccustomed and sometimes dis
liked articles of diet. One day, after
being compelled to eat onions, Marion
refused to say grace.
'Then you must sit at the table I'M
til you are ready to say it," was the
aunt's stern judgment. An hour or
SO later, when the brilliant sunshine
and impatient calls of her comrades
together comprised an irresistible ap-
peal, Marion capitulated-thus:
''Oh, Lord, make me thankful for
having had to eat horrid old onions,
If you can do it. But I know you
can't
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
nuGE GERMAN HOUSE KEYS

u present German house Key could
!. aseo as weapon of attack and de-
ss besides serving its original pur-
= 1t weighs on an average about
. . s4snth OF pound, and as each per-
T. sititled to carry q house and CORR
- y aey has nearly a quarter of q
ss4u Oh soft iron IN his pocket it is
,na-sefsatiVely estimated that the
s a0ont OF iron IN circulation in Ger
NJ ny u the pockets of the men and in
Il N, handbags Of the women amounts to
M IONS, besides an additional 1850
ssuss ~" ~ interior OK herman
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
"GREEN WATER" OF THE NILE

The green water OF the Nile is
quite different thing from the green
water of the ocean About April Is,
the Nile begins it's annual rise and a
month later the effect lis felt at Khar-
toum. A very curious phenomenon
accompanies this increase in the ap-
pearance of green water"
For long time it was believed that
the color came from the swamps of
the upper Nile lying isolated and stag
nant under the tropical sun and pol
luting the waters with decaying vege-
table matter. With the spring rise this
fetid water was supposed to be swept
into the streams to make its appear
ance in Egypt.
Within recent times, however, this
theory has been abandoned. Now we
are advised the green water is caused
by the presence Of innumerable num-
bers of microscopic algae, offensive to
the taste and smell. They originate
away up in the tributaries and are
carried to the Nile, where under the
hot sun and in the clear water they in
crease with amazing rapidity, forming
columns from $50 to 500 miles in
length.
The weeds continue to grow, die and
decay until the turbid flood waters put
them to an end, for they cannot exist
except in clear water.
Offensive as In some respects the
green water Is, it is hailed with de-
light by the Egyptians, since its ap-
pearance Is a sign of the real flood
time and the close of the water
famina &C.,
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
LONGEST TRAIN EVER SEEN

A cantaloup train, believed to be
the longest the world has ever seen,
passed through Tuscon, Ariz., recently
from the imperial valley. The train
consisted of 100 cars, was one and one
half miles in length, and contained
more than 100000 cantaloups.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

ed only temporary relief. Doan's Kid
ney Pills helped me at once and soon I
was permanently cured. I really feel
that Doan's Kidney Pills saved my
life"
when Your Back is Lame, Remem-
Der the Name-DOAN'S."
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price SOC.
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
ROOSTER WHIPS A Hawk

Paul e. Gerard of Bowling Green,
KY, went to his farm recently and
while walking over his place he saw a
chicken hawk fly to the ground and
catch chicken. One of Mr.. Gerards
fine game roosters saw it's companion
in trouble and ran to its assistance,
fighting the hawk, which later let go
the chicken and saved its life.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

Henry c. Leon
hardt, Liberty St.,
Sturgeon Bay, Wis,
says: "My kidneys
WERE In such bad
shape, the kidney Sc
cretions passed every
few minutes. I doc
tored with the best
physicians and treat
led with a prominent
specialist, but receiv-
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

Ny friend is dear, but my enemy is
also useful; the friend shows me what
I can do, the enemy shows me what |
ought to do-Sckiller.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

Do you ever have Headache, Toothache,
OF Earache? Most people do. Hamlins
Wizard Oil is the best household remedy
and liniment for these everyday troubles.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

Such a platitude Of world, in
which all working horses can be well
fed, and innumerable working men
die starved.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
An (JnsIeeoino Youth,

F7l olISlCCFNS
What business do you think your
son will adopt?"
Cant say" replied Farmer Corn
tossel, "but Judging by the hours
Josh keeps, I should say he was nat
urally cut out to be milkman."
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
HAVE YOU SUSPECTED YOUR
KIDNEYS?

Thousands suffer from backache,
headache, dizziness and WEAKNESS
without suspectins their kidneys.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
DON'T BE MlsLEAD

by the claims of unknown makers or
the testimonials of unknown people
about the wonderful" merit Of some
untried medicine.
Get Positive Proof.
Write us for free sample Of
Bonds Pills, a genuine and gentle
Liver Stimulant. One Of them will
promptly relieve Headache, Bilious
ness, Constipation, Indigestion and
Torpid Liver. State where you saw
this offer and give us the name OF a
reliable dealer. Bonds Pharmacy Co..
Little Rock, Ark.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
Wifeiv Sarcasm.

IT hear they are wearing nothing
but old clothes at Plunkville-under-
the Peak. That's the place for you to
go, wife"
Eyes. I can take seven trunks OF
old clothes. If old clothes are the
racket, can make a splurge.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

Mrs. Wfnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the guns, reduces inhamma-
ton allays pain, cures wind collie, 25c q bottle.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

Sooner or later most of us get what
we deserve.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

ueel.
1T means my wife will always make
me wipe my shoes off when I come
in the house." he cried.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

s, Ssess so Of le<zzAzzzzzzw
In Use For Over 80 Years.
Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

Important 10, Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

A woman isn't self-made just be-
cause she makes her own complexion.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

How About III
1t may also be true that the roll
ing moss gathers no rocks.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14

No Doubt About II.
do you consider yourself good
enough for my daughter?"
Il am If, as you say, she Is like
you
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1911-10-14
Tae Hero's Lament.

Achilles lamented his vulnerable
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22
10000 AT STATE FAIR
RECORD CROWD ENTERS THE
GROUNDS AT HURON.
Exhibits Are Up to Date-Displays In
All Departments the Best in His
tory Of Organization.

Huron.-The South Dakota board
of agriculture has every reasOn to be
proud of its fair of 1911, the greatest
In all departments in the history OF
the organization. Not only were the
exhibits in agriculture, horticulture,
live stock, machinery n special de-
partments the best the fair manage
ment ever has been able to assemble,
but the people came from far and near
to see them. The crowds were Of IN
precedented size. The weather was
entirely favorable.
Governors day, old soldiers, Mime
haha day, Codington, Miner and Nc
Cook counties day, with the opening
of the boy scout encampment, attract
ed $1,000 people to the fair Thursday.
Interest centered in the marriage on
the east veranda of the woman's build
ing, at noon, of John Nelson and Hill
da Mass, both we'll known people Of
Carthage, Miner county. Rev. Pearce
Pinch of Huron offciated in the pres
ence Of 10000 people. Survivors in
South Dakota of the battle of Shiloh
held a reunion, with NJ. Howard de-
partment commander.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22

wagons to market, and men working
in the fields, were all to be seen with
wonderful clearness.
Presently his curiosity was satisfied
and he climbed down from his lofty
perch and quietly retraced his steps.
He went to his boarding house and
ate breakfast with a heartiness that
made the cook tell him that he had the
appetite of a horse. While he was
at the table, Ezra Wallace came in.
The sexton spoke to him yer coldly.
Brooks became alarmed. He did not
desire the i'll will of the old man,
and, above all, did not wish to have
his plans go astray, SO he tried to con-
ciliate him.
Good morning, Ezra! you're looking
fine this morning
That's the way all respectable folks
should look" was the gruf re-
joinder.
Sure" responded the detective, who
did not quite grasp the meaning of the
sections remark.
The latter eyed him coldly for a mo-
ment and then said in an accusing
voice:
II may have my faults, but I've
never stayed out all night in my
life
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22

Il don't care anything about it, yoU
know. but the women folk insist on
it."
No. | don't expect to have a good
time. I'll feel worse tired out when
| came back than when / went away"
It's such a bore. don't you know
this thing of having to pack up and
go gadding all over the country un-
der the p~reteXt you need a rest"
The misery Of it is hat you can't
get good coffee anywhere"
And, besides, it always rains when
| go on my vacation"
You never meet nay but selfish peo-
pie at a summer resort"
I'll be mighty glad When it's yer
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22

At this psychological moment the
detective gave a terrific sneeZe
IF you had been In your warm bed
last night" said Ezra, now making his
accusation direct, you probably
wouldn't have had that cold"
oh, that's all right" was the cheer
full reply.
1T Is not all right" retorted the sex
ton, "and I'll thank you to give me
back that key"
Brooks handed it to him with some
misgivings.
What are you going to do?" asked
the detective.
Il don't know yet" was the reply.
I'll find out first whether anything's
been taken out of the church After
that I'll decide what to do"
1t took Brooks nearly an hour to
pacify the old man, and in convincing
him that although he was travelling
under an assumed name, and spent the
night in the steeple Of the church, he
was engaged in a legitimate business,
and assured him that in a short time
he would explain it all to his salts
faction.
The day after his night in the
church steeple, Brooks was very busy.
He telegraphed to Cincinnati several
times, and during the afternoon and
evening 1t was noticed that several
strangers alighted from the way train
that stopped at Meadboro. The detec-
tive was very stiff from his exposure,
but he managed to conceal his dis
comfort in the thought OF the impor-
tan work that lay before him.
He was up at daylight the following
morning. He stationed himself in the
road that led from the Davis farm to
the station. The two-hOrse team
that was in the habit of hauling the
milk to the train was due at six
o'clock. 1t rumbled along just at the
hour. Davis, himself, occupied a
place on the seat beside the driver.
The detective stood near a turn in the
road. Behind him, concealed in a
clump of bushes, were two ~able-bodied
assistants. AS the team reached that
point Brooks stepped in front Of
the horses.
Good morning. MI. Davis-how are
you feeling this morning?"
None of your business" was the
rough rejOinder. Get out Of the
way and let these horses pass"
You're not very polite this morn
ing"
I'm in a hurry, and I've got no time
to waste on you"
Then you'll have to take the time"
Davis answer was characteristic Of
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22

the man. He cracked his whip and
started the horses. But the detective
moved with amazing quickness and
GOODNESS. He pulled his pistol and
pointed 1t at the farmers head.
Halt" he cried.
At the same moment his two assist
ants rushed from their places of con-
cealment.
You see said Brooks, pleasantly,
its three against two. You might as
we'll give up"
But l don't understand" replied
Davis. who did look dazed. Whats
the meaning of this performance"
ut can be explained in a few
words, said the detective. I'm rep
resentative OF the United States gov
eminent, and 1 charge o with main
tanning an Illicit distrillery."
But I pay the government tax"
ON a small part Of your product
only. You've been cheating Uncle
Sam for a long while"
Davis laughed dryly.
That's easy to say, but 0 can't
prove it"
Yes l can"
"How?'
Here and now. That wagons full
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22
Belonged to Father.

Every one knew Jonathan Skinf1int
as a millionaire, with the exception.
so It appeared. Of Skinfint himself.
He invariably wore the shabbiest OF
clothes and is reported to have dined
one day on a couple of peas and a
grape skin.
One day an old friend endeavored to
persuade the miser to dress better.
Il am surprised" he said. that you
should let yourself become SO shah
by"
But l am not shabby" expostulated
Skinfint.
oh. yes. you are" replied the
friend. Remember your father. He
was always neatly, eve elegantly.
dressed. His clothes were very hand
some"
Skinfint gave utterance to a hearty
laugh. Why" he shouted trium
phantly, these clothes I've got on
were father's!"-Ideas.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22
REVIVAL OF FAMOUS FAIR
Students In Paris Parade on Ami
versary of the Lendlt, Celebration
Of Centuries Ago.

American students must envy their
European brothers the excuses for
getting up celebrations and anniver-
saries. The students of the un1ver-
sity of Paris this year determined to
revive the famous fair of the Lendit.
From the twelfth century to the
sixteenth, this annual fair, held in the
plain Of st. Denis, was b occasion
of much festtvity. The official con-
nection with the university was that
the whole student body, headed by
the faculty and the rector. went In
procession to buy enough parchment
to last for the year.
1t was hardly possible to carry out
the festival exactly, but at the close
of the college year n Saturday eve
ming, heralds, accompanied by torch
bearers and trumpeters, went through
the Latin quarter announcing the COM
ing pageant. And next afternoon a
fantastic procession started from the
Pantheon.
First came a squad of archers and
mounted ~trumpeters, then the heralo
Of the city On foot. Behind him ap-
peared the rector of the university,
with a mounted man carrying his ban
ner, the provost Of the parchment
sellers, professors and members OF
the faculty In their robes.
Then came a merry column follow
ing the King Of the Basoche," VINO
was mounted on a donkey and accom-
panied by his clowns. This column
consisted of the students Of the four
nations-France, Anjou, Picardy and
Normandy, each with It's band or
music.
While the only object of the pageant
was fun. it was correctly costumed.
the frescoes of the Sorbonne furnish
ing all the information needed. The
participants and the crowds OF spec
tators enjoyed it so much tina 1t may
be made an annual affair.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22
The Milk Punch
pevenue Fraud
Anfpisode mthe Life Of James brooks,
once Chief of the United States Secret Service.

boarders of Ezra Wallace's humble
home. The old mar would nave cheer
fully lodged and fed him for moth
sizes on which he lived, and thrived,
and had his being. One night the
two men needed a book to verify some
disputed point. 1t happened to be in
the church library. Brooks volun-
teered to go after it. The sexton hand
ed him the key and he went to the
church and obtained the book, but he
conveniently forgot to return the
key.
ly hurried to the church, and using
the %purloined key, made his way
into the editice. 1t was quite
dark and the place was unfamiliar, but
he managed to grope along until
he reached the stairway leading to the
choir loft. From thence he climbed
to the dingy attic at the base of the
church steeple. He crawled up by
easy stages until he reached the bel
fry. A rustling noise startled him.
This was followed by another and then
III llC lCdIlLCu IhoS lllS
rats were scampering from their &C
custOmed haunts. The huttering Of
wings lear the top of the structure re-
minded him that he had disturbed the
bats. 1t was still quite dark, and he
began to feel quite chilly, but deter
NAMED to remain in the belfry until
daylight.
He never realized before how slow
ly 1t is possible for minutes to pass
by, but his long vigil finally came to
an end. Daylight appeared and the
detective brought forth a powerful tel
escope. With the aid Of this instru-
ment he was enabled to get a splendid
view of the surrounding country. In
fact, he could see everything quite
clearly within a radius of a mile or
more. Good housewives at work in
their gardens, farmers driving their
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22
Dean Of London Bar 100 Years Old.

A Gordon Hake, the dean OF the
London bar, celebrated his one hun
dredth birthday recently at his home
at Brighton. Mr.. Hake is a master or
five languages-Greek, Latin. French.
Italian and Spanish-and reads Hor-
ace, Virgil and Montague.
He attributes his long and healthy
life to plenty Of riding-he had for
years a favorite horse named Daisy
and to walking and to abstemious hv-
ing. He has never cared much Tor
modern varieties of ress.
The Rev. T. G. Hake tells a good
story Of his fathers rough and ready
toilet. DR.. Charles Hanson once called
on him at his chambers and asked per
mission to put on his barrister's wig
and own Now" he said, lend me
a looking glass" He was handed a
razor-the nearest approach to a
mirror possessed by his friend.-Law
Notes
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22
of whisky on which 0 have not paid
Wis lips curled with scorn.

~ ''SNS
a Ger Of tax
Davis lips curled with scorn.
81 thought you didn't know what
you were talking about We have 20
cans of milk in the wagon and It's
consigned to the Harvey Milk com
pany Of Cincinnati. Isn't that true,
SAM"
The driver Of the wagon. being thus
appealed to, nodded a sleepy head.
Yes, SIR he said. that's as true
as gospel"
Brooks climbed up on the hub of the
front wheel and looked at the wagon.
IF you have milk here" he said,
lets see It,"
Yes" said the other detective, joe
ularly, I'll take a quart
But it's fastened for shipping"
open it," said Brooks. open that
can on the end
The man did as he was babe. and
sure enough 1t contained nothing but
pure milk.
ANY other you'd like to see?" asked
Davis triumphantly.
Yes; open the can on the other
end"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22
HHZT/ :
C0MMH/XDEDZ NE
Effective

That was opened and that, like the
other, yielded only Attorney milk.
Now" said Brooks, let me see the
contents of the can in the middle.
"Oh," exclaimed Davis, this Is
carrying a joke toe far"
The can was opened, however, and
it was found to contain high proof
whisky. Every one Of the other IT
cans were filled with distilled spirits.
Davis was arrested, tried and convict,
ed, and the far-reaching conspiracy OF
~defrauding the government defeated.
Brooks was highly complimented by
Commissioner Rollins, and shortly aft
erwards was assigned to Philadelphia,
where he won new laurels in ~ferreting
out and convicting those who were
cheating Uncle Sam of his legal dues.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22
WAITING for an Opinion.

Now Rastus," roared the major.
what is the use? Don't you know
that | know you are Iying?"
"Yassuh." replied Rastus, but ye
see, Marse Henry, l kind O thought
I'd like to hab yo' opinion on de sub
iect befo' | decided dat / was lyin
TO sho' mahself. Now dat yo' says
| is. Marse Henry, / jest reglarly
knows I is, suh."-Harper's Weekly.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22
WifeIy Sarcasm.

q hear they are wearing nothing
but old clothes at Plunkville-under-
tne-feak. That's the place for you 10
go, wife"
Yes. | can take seven trunks of
old clothes. If old clothes are the
racket, | can make E. s%plurge."
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22

bane of the prop
erty owner. Today it is
new porch steps, tomor-
row it will be a new
sidewalk, soon it will be
a we'll curb. Why not
cut out bothersome
patchingf Why not build
those things once and for
all, using concreeS 1t will
stand the frost, rain and
sun for years, if you make
it carefully. Use clean,
coarse sand, we'll graded
gravel or crushed stone and
UNIVERSAL PORTLAND CE-
MENT and stop that repair nuisance.
The best dealers sell UNIVERSAL
and are proud of its record of sue
cessful work. Ask them for helpful book
lets and prices or write us.
UNIVERSAL PORTLAND CEMENT CO..
CHICAGO-PTTTSBURG
Northwestern Office. Minneapolis
ANNUAL OUTPUT o.ooo. 900 BARRELS
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22

A mule seldom kicks without cause,
but a man is different.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22

Insurance Agent-Id Ike to write q
policy on your life.
Mr.. Brighton Early-Better not. I
was born under a lucky star. If you'd
insure me today it's ten to one I'd die
tomorrow.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22

A woman isn't self-made just be-
cause she makes her own complexion.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22

Blessed are the happiness-makers.
Blessed are they who know how to
shine on ones gloom with their cheer.
Henry Ward Beecher.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-09-22
Lingering.

Lingering.
Did you have a trial before you
hanged that horse theft"
I'VE SURE did," replied Ptute Pete.
He was a mighty bad man, and we
wanted to give him all the unpleas-
ant suspense possible"