davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
Cost of Standing Armies.

The recent large donation by Mr. An
drew Carnegie to the cause of peace, no
less than the recent plea of certain Of
our jingoistic military authorities that
the United States is sadly In need
Of a much larger standing army, lend
peculiar point and interest to a state
naent just published by Edmund Thery.
the noted French economist. After care
full study and comparison Of figures. NJ
Thery has calculated that the cost of
maintaining the standing armies of the
principal European countries has been
about $4,000. .00O 900. an almost unthinkable
sum- To maintain these armies has
caused an increase in the public debt of
the European states Of more than 105000-
10000 francs. and, at the same time il has
kept from productive labor that should
have been profitable. instead of an ex-
pense to the states. 1ssooo officers and
nearly 100000 men
Some idea of what this frishtful waste
for it is nothing else-means can be
gained when We come to think of what
vast and wonderful peace projects might
has been expended That terrific sum
of nearly thirty billions Of dollars would,
If properly expended, have provided free
education for all the world. 1t would
have stamped out from the face of the
earth the dread scourge of tuberculosis:
1T would have irrigated all the desert land
and made it bloom. 1t would, if properly
expended, have proved powerful enough
to lessen, almost beyond human calcula-
ton, the total sum of misery and want
in the world
And to this actual expenditure of money
taken from the people in various forms
tof taxation must be added also the fright
full waste that has resulted from the nom
productivity of such a mass of human
beings. Instead of adding by their labor to
the products Of the world, these standing
! armies have been mere parasites on the
: workers. and it is not easy to estimate
; what sums of happiness might have been
! added to the world, what advance in
! progress might have been made, had
these standing armies been permitted to
; do their proper work.
Purely speculative as any conclusions
one may draw from NJ. Therys figures
may be, they surely point to a time when
the people, the producers. who ask moth
ling but the right to work and live in
peace. will protest against such economic
waste as this Universal peace may be
regarded as a sentimental dream; it is not
mere sentiment that will bring about such
a ''consummation devoutly to be wished"
not sentiment but gross material conSid-
erations. Already we have reached the
! primer stage in our education in conser-
I! walton and have been brought to see the
need of safeguarding our resources. 1t
is. but step to that higher education.
where We shall come to see that the
! interests of the people demand that no
portion of what they earn shall be taxed
from them for the creation of armed
camps. Popular feeling and knowledge
Of what is sane and right win put a stop
ito the waste of treasure and the misdi-
rectfon Of human energy.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

watching where she was going. and
started to continue on her way. more
cautiously.
The Ohio man thought he detected AN
American accent when she spoke and
he remarked: II guess we're both Amer
icans.''
mo; am Lady so-and-so. Of London.
suh-" she replied.
Whereupon the general remarked: Il
don't care whether you're from Lon
don Of Vladivostok. you must be m
American; and furthermore. you were
raised south Of Mason and Dixon's line
or else you wouldn't have that sub
in your talk. I guess I know"
The woman looked embarrassed Yes:
was born in Kentucky sne admitted.
but I've been living in London for a
great many years"
Woman" exclaimed Keifer, who was
born in Southern Ohio. not 50 far from
Kentucky, do you mean to say that
you were born in Kentucky and instead
of being proud Of it were going to give
me the impression that you were born in
England? I'm sorry bumped into such
a person. Good day"
Sc0Siu JOC oohCys VI ACA82s udS JoSI
recently seen Q new light. He has un-
dergone some sore Of weird metagenesis.
change of heart been born again. or
something. Just what it is We vot not
but Cousin Joe is a changed man.
We refer to his attitude toward the
queer-looking automobiles that fioat back
and forth in the subway between the
Capitol and the Senate once building.
Cousin Joe has always walked when he
had occasion to use the subway. just as
a matter Of principle. because he has re-
garded automobiles as the physical ex-
preston Of everything in. this life that is
undesirable.
But what do you think? Here of late
Joseph Bailey has taken to riding in the
subway autos. A lot Of people have seen
him, and he rides back and forth brazen-
ly, without shame.
And now a great many people here
abouts are prepared for almost any,
thing. There are even those who would
refuse to act surprised il Cousin Joe
should begin to attend afternoon teas.
practice the high hand shake. use mas
sage cream. and carry his handkerchief
In his cun.
Senator JEFF Davis, of Arkansas, is a
great man to appreciate a favor, no
matter how trifling. One morning some
months ago he happened to think Of an
important letter that he'd neglected to
write He rushed out Of the Senate cham
Der into the first committee room he
came to. and appealed to the man At the
nearest typewriter to help him out
When the letter was finished the Sena-
tor wanted to pay for the stenographic
work. but the stenographer. who was also
one OF the secretaries to another Sena-
tor. declined to take anything. Every time
the Senator has met the man since he has
spoken Of the favor with as much sense
os gratitude as II the stenographer had
lent him money to set himself up in
business.
Copyright Isll. b. Pred C. Kslly.)
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
POLITICAL CHAT.

tuo TuuAo0po18
fou may bust. You may batter the tuH II yuu
will. tho ascent Of its prices viii 60 night On still
From the Atlanta Constitution
Disappointed IS to a Mexican invasioo the Hous-
too Post wishes that fxas could annex Col. Roose-
velt. II that isn't enough to sir tho colonal to
action shall be ready to believe that be really
Is "a silent conservative"
From the Cleveland Leader.
The bank guaranty system VIII be LET TO work its
own cure II it can survive the natural cpuse-
quences Of the opportunities which it oe5 gamblers
in banking to outhid the best terms any pudeutly
managed and sound bank can aaaqd to give do
postors the ablest dnanc;en in the ouuntly viii be
srpriaed
From the Fresno Repuhlinn.
An tho present political wransiins over primaries
for United States seoaton. the nature of advisory
votes. and the sitting near TO tho people in the
choice Of higher omciah. Is showing the public that
the only way to hold an election Is to esc not to
advise.
From the Providence Journal
The night to fortify the Panama Csnal Is strangely
Questioned Public opinion would s0me that the
night existed. Tho waterway and its terminals are
manifestly the property Of the United States as
any part Of the coasts of its contiguous territory.
From the Louisville Courier-Journal
The Indianapolis Mems. which marvels At the fact
that liquor il still the cause Of alicde in tho pro-
hibiton State Of Alabama is evidently not familiar
with tho peculiar favor and after effects of the
liquor COMMONLY sold in prohibition stateA
From the Chicago Rscord-Heald
II may be that sone Of the membeEs Of the Losi-
ner investigators committee are beginning By this
time to understand that they were not sent to Chi
caso merely for the purpde Of finding the easiest
way TO smooth things ovcr.
From ths Omaha Bee.
'Ths DemoGatic governor elected last fall are
al makins good boasts oar amilble Daao1stic
contemporary. OF onurse. they ara They have
Just taken their oaths of ofBcs and begun 10 warm
the seats d the executive chains.
From the Baltimore Sun.
Cor. Dir evidently THINKS that everybody en-
ployed By the STATE Of New York should strive
to earn his salary. For himself he proposes to
keep regular once hours. He win begin wort at y
O'Clock in the morning and keep at Il. with hfty
minutes intermiasiou for lunch until 80 O'Clock.
From the Chattanooga Timek
Hooson seems to think that Canegiss $lo.moNtc
pnce gift Is intended 10 b slap in his faos.
From the chariestoa Nsss and Courier.
Tut. Hcbaon is doing world q good for the
worlds peace. His tam about war b - funny
that IL natino can ssver 81 nsd for lausains.
Fsum ths Nsw Yoet Evening Nal
Any nan Who onEas 10 - eeaafs e tAs uAited
etstss euuAt - hass . dsas TIE. F~ hb Own
aientr Wflli6m Z Lcsim9 ought b have tasistsd
. Il H I'D ~ pseesd0t - for hin b. Lesus
pu1..rb s1nA NJ asuspt tainted tit,A q ths
~ ~ 1suuk3n eapdaM Untna
n unate1le vseipg = - neaO q WMhines
"a, - siy ~ 80 ans(h8. "a pattosp =
sul1 10 - ~ enU = - ~ = IN
- "a SA mn 49, = - - a1ls uv1DD
- ~ ~ zn1lI s11o1 q 49,
- - e, =. - - -
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
Our immigration Laws.

1t is probable that, fundamentally. at
least. our laws and regulations designed
to weed out undesirable immigrants are
sane and sensible and necessary. but we
are inclined to believe that there Is hard
ly enough care used at Ellis Island in
their enforcement. There seems tn be a
lack Of discrimination, and often quite
unnecessary hardship is worked. The
country was stirred up q few weeks ago
over the case Of a little girl who was
detained on a technicality at Ellis Is
land. although she had relatives in Pitts
burg who were quite willing and able to
care for her Only the other day an East
Indian gentleman. a traveller. not an i'm
migrant. accompanied by European
friends. was detained in the department
for poor immigrants. even though his
friends offered to give whatever bond was
required for his departure from these
shores after his visit.
Now another case has come up-that Of
the detention Of the son Of q prominent
cotton broker Of Liverpool. who was de-
toIuSo a. GSliAS ASiAuo oovSOOSiy %
justly that q strong protest has been
forwarded to the State Department by the
members Of the Liverpool Cotton Ex-
change The lad. Charles Heape. came
over as . frst cabin passenger In the
Carolina. accompanied by his uncle. for
. holiday trip. There b a provision Of
the Immigration law which forbids the
admission Of alien children under sixteen
years of aes to this country unless ac-
companisd ~ parent. OF course. the
lad's uncle was n6t his parent. but surely
IN such . case one would think that the
immigration oacisls might have regarded
him - standing In the light OF apparent.
Tho ia was not detained long In the
pen .at Elfis Island. but II Vas long
enough 20 create inoonyenienee ana soms
humiliatioa.
a csrtain am6unt of irFitattcn would
sesn. on the part of ouf Eufopsan nsigh-
bora TO - justinahle h such cases q
thsss Il = probah,y auite tFus nat he
AutAHs&ss - Always viqlin ~ iaw,
III 4 = eeee1lv 1rea TIT vjsftsep =
Evaessa - - - e. sup n1G
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
HUMAN NATURE IN WASHINGTON
By FREDc. KELLY.

One Of the most vexatious Jobs In
Washington 10 held by Philip II. Patch
in. chief Of the division Of Information
in the Department Of State.
When the division that Patchin heads
was created. the state Department SEEM
ingly decided to play little Joke on the
public by calling 1t the division of In
formation, for the reason tnat no infor-
nation can be obtained there. Core
spondence and documents and various
secret Information bearing on foreign re-
lationSN for the use Of diplomats is pre-
pared I'm the division Of information; but
ever SO often the division gets renewed
instructions not to give any information
to the public about anything whatso-
ever. And they don't. One might az
well undertake to get accurate knowledge
from ticket agent for . Canadian rail-
the so-called division Of information.
And what makes the job vexatious for
Patchin, the chief. is that everybody
takes the name Of the division at its
face value and comes there to fnd out
things. Even people in other branches
of the State Department send inquiries
to Patchin's once, Just as II he were
running an Information bureau such as
one finds In railway stations.
'Ah, you are seeking information
they will say. There is . division Of
the department devoted to Just that
thing" And then you are steered to the
division of information, where every
body is polite and pleasant, but as COM
municative as the driver of q hearse- 1t
uses up all Of Patchin's spare time ex-
planning why it is that the division of
information is devoted to being nonin-
formative. He's just as sorry as any
body else that his division didn't draw
q more appropriate name.
:, Now, in some Of the departments they
really do have bureaus Of information.
The Post-ofhce Department. for instance
If one desires to learn something about
a recent Post-ofice appointment. one is
sert to the publicity bureau And II one
pants to know something Of real conse-
quence about the inside doings of the de-
partment, he is sent, also. to the pub
licity bureau, where ne, in all proba-
bility. will not find what he desires to
know. Many contend that one can hnd
out as many things that one already
knows or does not care to know. from
the publicity bureau OF the Post-ohice
Department as at any place in Washing
ton.
Representative ]. Warren Keifer, Of
Ohio. who. with his dress suit and other
working clothes. will remain at home
next Congress. is-the man who says pretty
much what he thinks. Some time ago,
Gen. keifer took . little jaunt to Eng
land and Europe to look things over
When his ship was crossing the English
Channel the general In cropping his way
across the lower deck. bumped into q
woman who begged hts pardon for not
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
Five-year Diamond Monopoly.

From ths New Yozt Herald
Maiden Lane diamond importers have
been informed Of q report submitted to
shareholders by directors Of the De Beers
n Con:elidatsd s. MIN Mines: s. ,d,n for the twelve I've
the year was f2.e9o.726 (about $4,000. .0o0).
Dividends Of nearly 100000 were dis
tributed.
Since the close Of the financial year OF
the De Beers Consolidated Mines. Limit
ed. the contract between the company and
the London Diamond Syndicate. which
sells the output Of the mines. has baen
renewed for fve years. A working agree
London syndicate and the Prsmier mine.
OF the Transvaal. the only large mine
outside the combination. These arrange
ments place the price Of diamonds abso-
lutsly under the control of the monopoly
for the next nve years.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

A bill has been introduced in the ILL
nois legislature looking to the prohibition
of the parlor match. But the young
couples will find chance to spoon just
the same
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

Women are so inconsiderate. A Nsv
York wife who is suing for divorce saye
that her husband lost an average Of ~
night playing poker. And yet she
charges him with being a gambler!
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

1t is hoped the atmosphere Of Mount
Vernon may have salutary effect upon
the inmates Of the new reformatory.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
Liquor In Maine.

lfum the No Y0k Nan.
In the State of Maine. where prohibition
10 supposed to prevail. some Of the liquor
dealers seem disposed to ignore the Law
altogether. This ID particularly true In
the city Of Bangor. So long as the pro-
prietors OF drinking resorts there were
content with keeping their places open
six days and six nights week their
operations aroused no serious objection:
but It appears that they are dissatisfied
With that arrangement, and are now keep
ing opsn seven days and seven nights q
week. The citizens Of Bangor protest
against this, their view evidently being
that Il LIQUOR dealers are permitted to
violate the law six days = week with
impunity. they ought to respect 1t one
day.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

Speaker Cannon has been asked to give
away s1S.0O0.0oO of a legacy which he did
not receive. Just to show his generosity.
he might present the beggars with drafts
upon the executor.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

They have now discovered that there is
big mail order business in cocaine
Some people will probably use this as an
argument against the parcels post.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
ReQuirenents Of . Journalist.

So&S~es
Fun the Atlantic Monthly.
Tho main preparation for q journalistic
career can be obtained In any places Of
secondary and higher education that live
up to their advertisements. What are the
main requirements? Tho candidate must.
Of course. possess certain natural apti-
tudes. Unfortunately these cannot al
ways be surely determined until the pupil
is . good way on In his teens. He must
have that native intelligence which no
school can impart. but which some
methods Of education can undoubtedly
impair. There must also be q peculiar,
alertness to the facts Of human life, a
quickness and cAtholicity of mind which
would almost Justify the maxim that
there 10 nothing dull to the born Jour-
nalist. In addition. there appears to be
especially needed wide and thorough in
formation. ability to observe and reason.
and skin In literary. expression.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

Some members Of Congress act as If
they were mad at Peary ror not suggest
ing a Congressional junket to the north
to examine his proofs.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

Ex-king Manuel is to be granted a pen
sion Of $4,000 a year If he stays out Of
Portugal Lots of people would stay out
Of Portugal for half the money.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

We respectfully suggest that Adams
County. Ohio. might be a profitable field
for the operations Of Evangelist Billy
Sunday.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

1t may Be necessary to instruct some
women how to enter a street car proper
ly. but all Of them know how to Chamber
into an automobile by instinct.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

A Georgia woman, attempting to defend
her husband. killed one man and shot
another Evidently a Georgia wife is al
most as good as a watchdog.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

An aviator in California who undertook
to deliver newspapers by flying machine
got there i've hours behind time. This
puts him well In the messenger boy class.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

A Harrisonburg, Va. couple walked
forty miles to get married. Yet they
called it a runaway marriage.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

From darning stockings to punching a
masher in the eye! 1t is evident that
Miss Illington's press agent has a vivid
imagination.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

A Kentuckian boasts Of having made
$500 OF single acre of plum trees. That
man is in good training for a professional
politician
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

New Jersey will be without governor
for twelve hours. but she will have a real
live one after that
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

Most Of us are from Missouri on that
project to bring beef from the Brazilian
market and sell it in this country at
z cents q pound cheaper.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

The principality Of Monaco is to be
granted a constitutions: but even 50. It viii
be quite constitutional still to try and
break the bank at Monte Carlo.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

There are twenty-six licensed aviators
in America But the trouble is that not
one Of them is sure how long the license
is good for.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

A New Jersey man sold his wife for
s. Now he wants q divorce to keep her
from being thrown back on his hands
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

Tho name of the recently elected Sena-
tor from Ohio sounds like some new kind
of apple butter.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

It must be bitter punishment to those
who robbed Pennsylvania in the building
Of the capitol to be obliged to return so
much perfectly good graft.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
( BOW to the Obvssus.

Ftn tAe New Ycsk Bssntng sn.
..Just because thirty or more men sot
married ON Chrhtmas Eve IN Houseen.
the Post 10 Inclined 10 bras. but wssd
like to bet that those follows WIN not
II drunk NEXT Chf1stnnas Hve." says
the scharleston News and Coufiae: n
easle61h -, oura And ~ epo1oe11o -
{on th1e etnslo eoea1enoo }oN1o - -
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

Was Gov Harmon making a subtle bid
for the Presidency when he refused to
deliver an inaugural address?
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
washinGton'S Legs.
From the New Y0k Mail.

from The New Y0x MAIL
Apropos of a recent statement to the
effect that George washington's artificial
teeth were slaring misfit. It is recalled
that the Father Of His Country suffered
from other physical drawbacks. Take
the matter Of legs. for instance. While
II can hardly be said that Washington
was exactly what might be called spin
dle-shanked." it u reasonably well es-
tabhshed that his legs were almost in
significant and glaringiy disproportioned
to his stature as an entirity. They were
10 inadequate and unimpressiye. as .
matter Of fact that. according to tradi-
ton. the artist who painted the wash
ington portrait now hanging in the hall
Of the House OF Representative was %
discouraged with his subject that he per
suaded Gen Smith. IN ofhcer Of the Revo-
luton. to lend his legs - models for the
picture. Therefore. II 70 eeriouSly con-
tended, the body and head Of that par
ticulsr portrait are those OF Washington.
but the legs are the legs OF smith.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
A LITTLE NONSENSE
OUR TRIP ABROAD.


Young queens are much like other girls.
As any ono will find;
Go in for switches and for cmis
That fasten on behind.
We called upon a queen one day
Who sang for us and played,
And talked about the matinee
Like any little maid.
And I. as We were shown around,
Investigated some,
And underneath the throne I found
Her wad OF chewing. gum.
High Life.
MET your wife lately?'
NO; but I sec by the society papers
that she will be at home twice this
month"
A Possible Solution.
Il wonder what Bluebeard had in that
secret room?'
Probably some haircloth furniture We
keep ours out of sight since mission
styles came in
Latest Methods.
Il see your son has gone into your
bank. Has he introduced any improved
business methods as yet?"
''Oh, yes. He has the clerks served with
afternoon tea"
The Sal0me Dancer.
Blessings on you. little girl.
Barefoot maid in may whtrl
Is string OF coral beads
Quite sufficient for your needs?
A Literary Age.
This is . literary age"
Think so. grandpa?
Yep. When was q young Teller there
wasn't but one volume In tho whole coun-
ty. And now my grandson sleeps in q
folding bed that looks like . bookcase"
The Boston C0artship.
II think could make you happy"
I'VE are not here to be happy" she
explained. We are here to fulnll mis-
sions."
Then consider me Is yours
And upon that basis they became en-
gagged.
Caustic C0mment.
Thinks he's some orator. ehr'
HE expects to draw tho people Ike
rats"
well. maybe he viii. He sure is
piece Of cheese"
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
M Foe,k & lueanatx.

m ~ 1ossp HeaS4
{ HSnkw Rnhtu's tnem q inssnify sssns
u hsVe hosa that knoyA = NJ aneleat
lll vssA - - ~
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
ouite Right.

Tsm ~ rstssauss 0azstssfine
Mis- Sylvia Pankhurst. the Ensiish
sualraGiat. u said to b mighty pretty
eirI We hazard the guess that one Of
these days she'll lose al interest In the
subject of votes for women.
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13
AAvaee te Aaay 90 ysA. !

Ffum tbs Riehnond Nsss Iaad9.
why do not CarAsgjs and RockesalIsr
play the game for alI they have. ana al
they EXPECT TO get. ana turn the tackuok
over to trustees TO be divided between
peace and freak education?
The Washington herald., 1911-01-13

s GoeA Way - De Popular.
go 1aessp lsantuaa,A
3 md - e1nefou& Tsl1 como Woman