El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-12-12
In the Monastery
By arikhaIlO Jatsklv.
" INAILY, after much arguing. I
was accepted, but the novices
= were warned against me

~ INALLY, after much arguing.
/ was accepted, but the novices
were warned against me.
I Ny tongue even became slave ana
! rarely opened my mouth. Little by
little I was transformed into a living
carcass. mute as a tomb, forgotten by
all.
/ Ny movements became mechanical
limitations OF the others; when they
| kneeIed, I kneeled, too when they went
/ into ecstacy I went into ecstacy. too.
/ Sometimes. however. during the hours
! Of meditation, a memory, a thought OF
the world fitted across my mind
I swiftly. like a bird surprised by night
/ While the rosary slid noiselessly across
my knees. I invented prayers without
words, all images and visions. I built
with feverish enthusiasm temple
which was to embrace the whole world;
the foundations were human bones, its
walls human blood. its vaulted ceilings
tears Of the color Of the heavenly blue
A sound like the rolling of distant
waves filled it. It was the mighty
voice of human suffering.
Am L becoming hypocondrlac, i
asked myself "Of what can com
plain2 I have no more need Of the
it given to me2 Pain and hatred Nay
therefore the moment come quickly
when 1 shall drop dead on these rag
stones. They wih cover me with a
Z black sheet. and / shall be free. And
afterwards? I do not know
One Sunday I had escaped into the
garden. and was sitting on a pehcIls
no thought whatever In my BRAIN no
feeling in my heart, looking at the
landscape beyond the wall suddenly
I burst out laughing maqly A hand
MH|
ed to my feet The under prior stood
I before me.
what do I see2" he Kissed who
has run away from his duties with the
speed of a hungry wolf? Who tried 10
arrange a rendezvous with that charm-
Z turned my head and really I dis
covered in a field close by peasant
girl watching her COWS.
II never thought
silence! Who gave you PERMISSION
have to interrupt this charming little
affair, but YOU VIII have to come with
me. o Temporal, Q mores'
He led me to the kitchen, near the
refectory where the noT1ces we're about
to sit down TO their meal. He smiled
at me cruelty with his thick, sensuous
we meet so seldom" he said, 'but
when we do, we have something to
tell one another. Nay I ask syOu to
take off your coat?' he handed me
a
Here is a charming maiden that
feels like velvet. Please take hold Of
her waist And please do not mind
your breakfast I will relieve you Of
that duty. And be kind enough to ca
ress yourself hard enough to make
them hear il in the refectory in spite
Of the noise Of the spoons"
He went out and / began to beat
my naked shoulders with the whip,
while looking at crucifix on the wall,
and dull pain oyercame me. When
I felt the blood running down my
back 1 went over to the chimney ana
began to beat it instead of myself,
but soon stopped as I heard steps
1t was the under prior. He stopped
in the doorway, made the sign Of the
cross and said 'Satisl Go away in
peace and sin no more"
For six months everything had been
ready for the funeral Father Valen- /
tine knew his funeral sermon by heart,
for he had copied over ana over again
the poetic eulOgy in which he praised
to the skies the virtues and merits Of
the late prior and asked the whole /
country to bemOan with him the loss
of this Incompatible eclesiastic.
But the incompatible eccl estastic still 1
chung to life In his bed, absorbing i'm Z
mense quantities of drugs.
Two brethren, a monk and a novice, Z
kept watch at his bedside every night /
One night, when vesper was over and (
we had cleaned the candlestick and |
washed the dishes, it was Brother Vim
cents and my turn to sit up. We came |
into vast cell / had never seen before. !
An emaciated old man lay in bed mo- /
tionless, but turned his head when we !
entered and stared at us with CLASSY |
eyes. I shuddered, looked at my COM
panion ana caught his glance Of un- !
Outstanding. I did not know what to |
do. The old man. who examined me |
intently, gave me a sign with his fin 1
ger.
.sYou are a noviee?' he asked in a
whisper.
Yes. father"
"Oh, novice" he repeated with a /
sigh.
Yes, father. I have been here a |
long while. Is there anything I can |
do for you2"
me rba ne b ssne s3o % az cares - iFF
me. May God forgive them"
He took my hand, and his eyes wan !
dered from my hand to my eyes.