The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-06-05

From the Chicago News.
 'So you are from Rhode Island?" said
 the Texan, as he acknowledged the intro
 auction with a hearty handclasp that ex- pressed commiseration. An how ex-
 tremes meet You are from Rhode l Islandr'
 He paused, gloating over the other man, like a hen over a bug. though the other man was even a little larger than himself, which was not in keeping with the dra- matis fitness of things.
 Hurry up and say it" said the Rhode Islander.
 Say what?" asked the Texan. What you were going to say, what all Texans say on all occasions. about how big Texas is and how small all the rest of creation is.
 Oh" said the Texan, gasplng little, his headway stopped, like a vessel whose sails, leaning against the wind, fall futile ly Tapping in sudden calm. But he quickly recovered. He was not going to forego the native sports of his state.
 Texas must seem large to a Rhode Islander,'' he said. Why, sir, Alacazummi county. where 1 live, is as big as Massa- chusetis and New Jersey. It is more than seven times bigger than your Rhode | island"
 50 is any equivalent area in the Allan 1 tic ocean, interrupted the other man. Fifteen thousand square miles in the
 Sahara is as big Alacazummi county,
 though there is no need to lug in the
 Sahara. Alacazummi county is sufficient l ly arid and desiceated. Wait! l can say l it all for you. It is farther from the
 west end of Texas to the east end than it I is from the east end to Chicago. Texas l is as big as the German empire. It also
 has more cactuses, mules, turkey bug cards and fake oil wells than Germany. | Hold on! l can say the whole rigamorole as well as you can.
 Texas is nearly 125 times as large as Rhode Island. You can put all the New | England states, New York, Pennsylvania and a tresome lot more into Texas. If you had as many people for your area as
 Rhode Island has you would have 60,000 coo. Greenland sir, is six times bigger
 than Texas and contains 1000 times as
 many Eskimos and 93O00, 100000 times as | mucn Ice. NOl Sucn NaluaDle ldllu, you say? Suppose you get that ice down into Texas think what it would be worth. Providence. R. l., is five times bigger than your biggest city. It takes five times as long to go from one end of Providence
 to the other as it does to make a similar trip in any of your cities. Rhode Island, Sir, weaves one and a quarter times as much cotton as Texas produces.
 Hold on. It's Rhode Islands turn now. You Texans have held the floor heretofore and now you've got to give us a chance. Rhode Island turkeys sell for Il times as much pound, live weight, as your steers do. \ Rhode Island Red setting hen can lick enc of your bulls. A person who can get Rhode Island oysters will never eat | your ticks, and for your clans, even you would pass up horned toads, Gia
 monsters and gophers for a pan of baked
 Rhode island clans.
 | q could ride 50 days and not get out of 1 Texas. Sure, I could. but, by gosh, I won't l wouldn't start anything like | that. Fifty days in Texas, Heavens, q could never understand why you peo- pie parade the deplorable vastness of your | state and take pleasure in it and invite l the congratulations of the rest of the | world. What is the matter with you peo- pie, anyway"