davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
TWO Very Old Ladies'.

We have heard great deal lately
about long-lived people. but It is prob
able that the oldest two people in the
world today are Frau Dutkievitz and
another old lady named Babavaslika.
The former lives at Posem, In Prus-
sian Poland and was born on Febru-
airy 81, 1873. She is therefore one
hundred and twenty-five years old
The latter, however, is nine months
her senior, having been born in May,
1874.
She is still fairly hale old woman,
and for nearly one hundred years
worked in the fields. Her descendants
number close on 100, and these now
make her a joint allowance. She lives
at the village of Bavelsko, whose
neighborhood she has never quilted
during the whole of her long life She
remembers events which happened at
the beginning of last century much
more clearly than those Of the last
40 years.-Dundee Advertiser.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Rankara and Bank Notes.

Four men. three of whom we're con-
nected with brokerage concerns in the
Wall street district, were discussing
United States paper currency and the
disappearance Of counterfeits. I'VE
are so sure nowadays" said one of
the party, "as to the genuineness Of
bills that little attention is paid to
them in handling, except as to de-
nomination" To prove his assertion
he took a $40 yellowback from his
pocket, and, holding It up, asked who
could tell whose portrait 1t bore. No
one knew, and by way of coaching
the broker said 1t was the first treas
urer of the United States. Again NO
one knew the name. why, It's
Michael Hilleaas,' said the man
proudly. But in confidence, I'll tell
you, I didn't know 1t five minutes
ago."-New York Tribune.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
HOLIDAYS in the States.

Washington's birthday is a holiday
in all states. Decoration day in all
states but Florida, Georgia, Louisiana,
Mississippi. North Carolina, South
Carolina, Tennessee and Texas. Labor
day is observed everywhere. Virtu-
ally every state has legal holidays
shaving to do with Its own special az
fairs-battle of New Orleans in Louis.
lana. Texan independence and battle
Of San Jacinto in Texas, Admission
day in California, and SO on. Missis.
sippi is like the federal government
in lack of statutory holidays, but by
common consent Independence day
Thanksgiving and Christmas are OBJ
served. A new one is Columbus day
in few of the states.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

hospital and at the risk of death be cut.
Plain common sense shows the better way
is to stop. food that evidently has not been
dgested.
thea when food is required, an easily
digested food. Grape-Nuts or any other If
you know it to be predigested (partly digested
before taking)
We brought to Court analytical chemists
from New York. Chicago and Mishawaka, Ind,
who swore to the analysis of Grape-Nuts and
that part of the starchy part of the wheat and
barley had been transformed into sugar, the
kind of sugar produced in the human body by
digestfng starch (the large part of food.
Some of the State chemists brought on by
the weekly" said Grape-Nuts could not be
called "predigested" food because not all of
1t was digested outside the body
The other chemists said any food which had
been partly or half digested outside the body
was commonly known as "predgested."
Splitting hairs about the meaning of word.
It is sufficient that If only one-half of the
food is "predigested" 1t is easier on weakened
stomach and bowels than food in which no
part is predigested.
To show the facts we introduce DR.. Thos
Darlington. former chief of the N. Y Board
of Health, DR.. Ralph w. Webster, chief of the
Chicago Laboratories, and DIR. B. Sachs, N. Y.
II we were little severe in our denuncia-
ton of a writer, self-confessed ignorant about
appendicitis and its cause, 1t is possible the
public will excuse us, in view Of the fact that
our head, Mr.. C. w. Post, has made a lifetime
study Of food, food digestion and effects, and
the conclusions are Endorsed by many of the
best medical authorities of the day
II 1t possible that we are at fault for
suggesting as Father and Mother might, to
one Of the family who announced a pain in the
side: stop using the food, greasy meats,
grayies, mince pie. cheese, too much starchy
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
French Official Etluuet.

The wives of the new French minis.
tiers share in the honors conferred ON
their husbands, the degree of defer
ence due to them being infinitely es-
tablished by the "protocole." When
the wife Of minister enters room,
If any deputies or senator's wives are
present. they are supposed to rise
and remain standing until she Is seat
ed. Other ministers wives may rest
in their chairs, but should the prime
minister's wife arise they also must
stand to attention. And even Nine.
BRAND (if there were such person. i,
would have to show similar Difference
to the wife of the president of the
chamber. With her. according to the
protocole, "eest la representation ma
tionale qui entire, lie suffrage univer-
sci la France. London Chronicle.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
AS They Do in New York.

She was a beautiful and statuesque
blond who had changed her residence
from New York to this city and Sc
cured a position as stenographer in
the office of staid, dignified citizen
of good old Quaker descent. On the
morning of her first appearance she
went straight to the desk of the boss.
81 presume" she remarked, that
you begin the day over here the same
as they do in New York;"
ooh, yes," replied the boss, without
glancing from the letter he was read
ing.
We'll, hurry up and kiss me, then,
was the startling rejoinder, II want
to get to work. "-Philadelphi Tele-
graph.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
That Suit for Libel
Cereal Co., Ltd. Cav Splendid Chance
Bring Out Facts 0o

A disagreement about advertising arose
with weekly" Journal
Following it, an attack on appeared in
their editorial columns; sneering at the claims
we made particularly regarding !S99eRdies.s
We replied through the regular papers and
the weekly" thought we hit back rather too
hard and thereupon sued for libel.
The advertisement the weekly" attacked
us about claimed that in many cases Of appen-
dicitis an operation could be avoided by dis
continuing indigestible food, washing out the
bowels and taking a predigested food Grape
Nuts.
Observe we said MANY cases not ALL
Wouldn't that knowledge be a comfort to
those who fear surgeons knife they fear
death?
The weekly writer said that was lie.
We replied that he was ignorant of the facts
He was put on the stand and compelled to
admit he was not DR.. and had no medical
knowledge of appendicitis and never investi-
gated to find out il the testimonial letters to
our Co. were genuine.
famous surgeon testified that when an
operation was required Grape-Nuts would not
obvfate 1t. True
We never claimed that when an operation
was required Grape-Nuts would prevent it.
The surgeon testified bacteria rgeTmsl help
ed to bring attack and bacteria was
grown by undigested food frequently.
We claimed and proved by other famous
experts that undgested food was largely
responsible for appendicitis.
We. showed by expert testimony that many
cases healed without knife, but by stop
ping the use of food which did not digest, and
when food was required again 1t was helpful
to use predigested food which did not over
tax the weakened organs of digestion.
When a pain in the right side appears 1t IL
not always necessary, to be rushed of to
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Pretty Good Definition.

We hear some funny things In Fleet
street sometimes, and the following
definition Of the height of aggravation,
by a gentleman in rather shaky boots
whom we encountered In a well-known
hostelry the other day, struck us a.
being particularly choice.
THE eight of haggravation, gentle
men," said this pothouse humorist, set
ting his pewter on the counter and
looking round proudly, with the air OF
one about to let off good thing, the
eight of Internationally, trying
to ketch flea out o yer ear with a
pair of boxin' gloves."-London Tit
Bits
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
crInnls RIdas RlexeIs.

George Anstey, aged IL. a cripple,
of Leicester. England, is one of the
most remarkable cyclists in the coun-
try. Both his legs are withered and
useless. but the Leicester Cripples'
Guild has provided him with two
wheeled pedalless machine, with a
padded tube covering the axle bar.
Across this he lies face foremost, and
with wooden clogs strapped to his
hands he propels himself along the
streets and roads in a marvelously
rapid manner. He has complete con.
troll of the machine, his hands acting
as pedals. steering gear, and brake
combined
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
EnolIsh Women Smoke pInes.

The latest fancy of the woman
smoker is a pipe-not the tiny affair
that sufices for the Japanese. but a
good-sized brier or a neat meer-
schaum. The pipe is boldly carried
along with gold card case and chain
purse. For some time now the Gig
arctic has given place to a cigar,
small in size and mild In quality.
Women said they were tired of the
cigarette. and wanted a bigger smoke.
London Mail.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Moneys Worth.

Your watch is away wrong" says
the friend why, we compared time
pieces half an hour ago. and already
your watch has gained a full half
hour over mine"
That's all right" says the man
with the business-like face. st forgot
to wind 1t night before last, and IT
didn't run at all yesterday, SO today
I've set it up to the fastest speed, so
that it may catch up the day 1t has
lost"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
(The 'mother-in-law joke has
been barred from the theaters of
an eastevn vaudeville circuit.)

an easte<n vaudeville circuit.)
I have stood for three-a-day. and being
put In supper shows;
have killed 'em-simply killed 'emi-
when I fell upon my nose;
have laid 'em out in Oshkosh. simply
laid 'em cold an dead
When my partner stuck a Ratchet with q
'Woof! right in my head
But when this fierce blow is struck
against the temple of my art
Then the time has come for me an good
old vaudeville to part
Not word. an ont whimper, when
they busted up my team
BY a-cuttin' out the patter that would al
ways make 'em scream,
Where ia say. II seen you wallxin' with
your sister yesterday"
An why. that was not my sister, twas
ladyi" he would say.
Yes. let 'em frost that gaglet-But tell
you art Is art
An the time has come for me an good
old vaudeville to part.
Why, they've cut out stuff that landed
forty years ago. an more,
An l never kicked or grumbled. never
even acted sore;
When they said the settler bottle an
green whiskers had to go,
No one ever heard me boiler, not a squeal
come from me, beau;
But they're goin' too much distance when
they tamper with my art,
An the time has come for me an good
old vaudeville to part.
One by one they've killed the wheezes
that forever has made good
All the gags that all the lowbrows an
the others understood;
Why, remember how we held 'em-simply
held 'em to the spot
When What is your manner" he'd ask
me, and I'd keep on sayin' watt? '
I'm not much for them ideals but I'm
loyal to my art,
An the time has come for me an good
old vaudeville to part.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Before DAYS o. Free Press.

Many of the restrictions that hamp
cred the influence of the press re-
manned in force until the close Of the
eighteenth century in England. 1t was
not till that period that newspapers
obtained the right to criticise the pol
Icy OF ministers and of the king. Mr..
Walter, the first editor Of the London
Times, was prosecuted for censuring
the duke of York. He was sentenced
to pay a fine Of $3.50, stand in the
pillory for an hour, be imprisoned for
year and give security for his good
behavior for seven years. The order
with regard to the pillory was can
celed. but ne had to serve his term in
Jail.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
LARGEST Of Whales.

The largest whale of Its type OF
which there is scientific record was
captured recently off Pore Arthur,
Tex. He measured sixty-three feet
In length, and was estimated to be
about three hundred years old. Cap
tain Cob Plummer, mate of United
States pilot boat, sighted the monster
In the shoals or the jetties, and tie
crew of his vessel captured the mani
NAL The huge body was towed ashore.
exhibited and much photographed BIZ
fore being cut up.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
n.. nn,,n.u Ennltan Merrlment.

Seattle, fearing the introduction OF
bubonic plague by rats. has offered .
bounty of ten cents a rat This moves
Tacoma, safe from infection from the
sea, to raucous laughter. and the Led
ger says that the bounty, though not
Intended for rodents Of Tacoma.
Everett, BelIingham and otlfer popu-
lous and busy centers, has been find
ing it's way into tho pockets 81 non
residents of Seattle for nonresident
rats. But the joke would be on us II
IL were found that our rat popula'
ton had found its way into the Seat
tie census"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Trying suggestion on the Mare.

Twice as the bus slowly wended its
way up the steep Cumberland gap the
door at the rear opened and slammed.
At first those inside paid little heed;
but at the third time they demanded
to know why they should be disturbed
in this fashion.
Whist cautioned the driver,
don't spake SO loud; she'll overhear
u.s."
'Who?"
'The mare. Spake low! Shure,
Dime desavin' tn crayture! Every
tonne she ears tn door close she
thinks wan o. yez is gettin' down ter
walk UP tn hill, an that sort a. raises
her sperrits. Success.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
TWO Kinds Of Fame.

"Yes," admitted the author of a sue
cessful book. II woke up one morning
and found myself famous"
st was different with me-" re-
marked the politician who had made
an ill-advised speech. "One morning
1 found myself famous-then / woke
up."-Chicago News.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
A podaer.

Il understand, Mr.. Bingo," says the
gentleman with the quizzical air and
the optimistic smile. that you are a
man who is strongly opposed to the
practise some people have of telling
their troubles-that, In fact, you will
almost run away from such folk"
We'll, yes" replies Mr. Bingo, edg.
ing off, and I'm getting SO that /
dodge the man who is always telling
how he never tells his troubles, too. :"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
What They All saw

In one day she was told that she
had
ID Beautiful hair,
(2) Lovely skin,
90 A perfect figure,
az Shapely hands,
(5) Very small feet,
However, it is explained by the fact
that she visited
ID The hairdresser,
(2) The beauty doctor,
(3) The modiste,
"a The manicurist.
(5) The shoe store.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

Nicola Tesla, dining by himself In a
hotels great dining room. takes a
table where he can be seen. Through
out his meal he wears deeply stu
cious, a completely absorbed, attitude.
He may bring to the table portfolio
filed with papers. These he may
scan with prolonged solemnity. In
any event, he sits an eloquent taoleau
of profundity.-New York Press.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

This looks like something new in
the way of domestic economy. A will
filed in the New York Surrogate's Of
fee provides for an allowance to one
of the heirs. a young lady, for the
purpose of giving an education which
should be practical and include cook
cry. drawing and cutting" 1t eyi-
IDENTIFY wes the purpose of the tesla
tor to have the girl trained for house
wifelv duties.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
UTAH STATE WOOL GROWERS
CoNNEN TON.

Salt Lake City, December 3o-31, 1910.
Low excursion rates via The Salt
Lake Route. Tickets on sale from all
stations in Utah on Salt Lake Route
From Tintic district and Nephi and
East, December Both and 31st; from
points Modena to Tintic, December
18th and Both. Good returning until
January 3, 1911.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Horrld Man.

pa" said little Johnny, do all
roses have thorns?"
yes. my lad" patronizingly answers
father.
Il don't see any thorns on these
roses in mas new hat" continued
Johnny.
You would if you had to pay for
the hat!" sadly signs daddy.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
LIahtnlns chsnaa.

The Manager-Can you make quick
changes and double IN a few parts?
The Actor-Can II Say, you know
where the hero and sthe villain are
lighting. and q friend rushes in and
separates EN-? Well. played all
three parts one night when the other
two fellows were i'll.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Too true.

she broke her engagement with
Miggley."
why? jealousy"
mo. Quite the other way about
He was SO devoted to her that she
said she never got chance to fiirt
with any other man."
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Had Eather,s Ok

You say the elopement was sort of
forced upon your"
YES; after she came down the rope
ladder her dad pulled it up."-Louis.
vile Courier-Journal.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
But There Are No Takers,

Clarence, you don't realize what 1t
is to have all your career before you
I'd give 40 years of my life to have
your chances"
"Of course you would, Uncle Benja-
min. You'd be glad to give 40 of your
years to anybody that would take
EN-. Tribune.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

Only scientific institutions or learn
ed chemists will be permitted to buy
radium. As it is $36,000,000 a pound,
one can. readily see what hardship
this arbitrary regulation is going to
work among the general public. seek
Ing radium bargains.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Possibly a Good Bargain.

I'm some parts of Africa" dilated
the returned explorer, "one can buy
wife for half pint of common glass
beads
WELL" replied the fussy old bach
elor, mo doubt good wife is worth
that much "-Lippincott's,
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

An Oregon detective has been deco
rated by China for guarding the Chin
ese prince on the latter's recent visit
to this country. But detective sport
ing yellow jacket and a peacock
feather would be rather hampered in
his business Of secret identity.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Not Too MANY.

Subconsciously Percy noted that
papa's shoes were of a terrible thick
ness and numbered at least 11.-Har-
per's Magazine.
It's a mistake to marry into a CEN
tipede's family.-Punch.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
When He Cries,

The Visitor-"What are you going
to call him?"
The Fond Mother1"I don't know
yet; his father calls him something
different every night-The Sketch
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

A preacher says that young women
prefer marriage to missionary work. II
they tackle the former. however.
they'll find that they're in for a bit
of the latter.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

In Detroit a man was arrested be-
cause he shot off firecrackers on the
twenty-fifth anniversary of his wed
ding. man who wants to celebrate
because he has been married twenty
five years ought to have some privi-
leges.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

Still, there are some young men who
are more interested in the price of
American beauty roses than in the
cost of beefsteak.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

They are going to put up another
huge building in New York, this time
one of 46 stories. Daylight will yet
be at a premium on the Manhattan
street level.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
Way Out.

II hear that Mr.. Poppitt proposed to
you thinking you were your twin sis.
ter"
That's the excuse he made when
rejected him.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

A Toronto girl who thought she was
marrying a young capitalist soon dis
covered that her husband was a bur-
Elar. Is not marriage a lottery?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
No Leisure for Repentinq.

Singleton-"Do you believe in the
old adage about marrying in haste and
repenting at leisure?"
Wedderly-"No, don't. After a man
marries he has no leisure. Smart
Cat
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

The Swiss are going to construct
another tunnel through the Alps. Evil
IDENTIFY they do not take much stock in
the aerial route taken by Chavez.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

Winter is looking over the fence
at US.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

It is alleged that dressed Peruvian
monkeys are being sold as rabbits in
the London market. What a waste
there must be In monkey tails.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
And He's Wonderlnu Yet.

English Waiter-"Whieh side of the
table do you wish to sit on, sir?p
American Guest-"I prefer to sit on
chair"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

Shakespeare may have had the man.
birds in mind when he mentioned the
condition of being "horsed on the
hghtless corners of the air.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

brought into Bangor. Me-, says an ex-
shange. were shot by women. Who
says a woman can't hit anything she
aims at?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

The Massachusetts girl who can
throw a baseball like ELAN is fac
tory girl. No college or society girl
can compete with her.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

King ChuIalongkorn is dead. Com
positors will be glad to learn that his
successors name is Chowfa Maha Va
IiravAuch.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

Man is useless creature. asserts a
Chicago woman lecturer. What? Who'd
stay home and tend the baby IL 1t
wasn't for men?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

A lecturer declared lately that the
perfect woman of the future will not
be a mother. Then she will not be a
perfect woman.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
The Retort Courteous.

"And you call this portrait of me?
Why, could paint my face better than
that myself"
81 cannot dispute you, madam. You
have had so much more experiences
than in painting your face"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06
CONSERVATION Wanted.

Candidate What fine baby?
Baby-"Aw kiss me big sisterl She
likes it and | dont."-Judge.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

The woman who has a pet boa con-
strictor IL feet long shouldn't kick If
her husband brings home a load of
snake bite cure.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

About the time a man begins to
grow brush heaps in his ears he loses
interest in the changing vagaries of
fashions in socks.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

In future. when aviation meets are
to be stopped by the police. they will
have to have more Fly cops"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

Airships have not yet filed freight
tariffs.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-01-06

One of the shocking new plays
brought out in New York is named
Electricity"