davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-23
. T. SUT1
AppersOn Automobile Company
DISTRIBUTORS
1924 Farnam Street
A


BeeP Co
of
M f a
luck onein
ca be a time at sal
+ e.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-23
JAMES L BURR. Lscal Mgr.

We wish thank the Gronoa Regent and $50
Str will be cred to s
o. al
JamesI Bur,M Manager
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-23
Magnificent $3.50 KimbaIl Player Piano

go second prize
Of
the
of
In
an place and
S eA TO The aiRs hays Into the best homes
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-23
Contest OF Skill Rather Than Money

In the Bees BookloverS' Contest one fac
on the scene at the Bee office five minutes
victory. No voting; no subscription getting
teStant with smaller means just STUDY.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-23

$500 Columbia GrafanOla
And $50 Worth of Records
will be the fourth
elimination
genius production Here
sought
Of this than the Column
ba Columbia GrafOnoia de Luxe 1t 10
mahogany throughout and equipped with the Column
worth $4,000 included IN
Yonm Columbia at the store OF
Columbia Phunograph Company,
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
rh;nos Ar chanoed Now.

The Fourth of July. the day Of our
arrival at Albany. was the anniversary
Of the Declaration Of Independence.
and on our arrival we were told that
great preparations were making for It's
celebration.
Our landlord. as soon as he found
out who we were. Immediately came
to US to request that we would excuse
the confused state in which his house
was, as this was the anniversary day
of "American independence" or. as
some indeed more properly call 1t.
"American repentance" We were all
of us not little surprised at this ad-
dress, and from such person. In
stances, however. are not wanting OF
people openly declaring that they have
never enjoyed so much quiet and hap
piness in their own homes since the
Revolution as they did when the states
were the colonies Of Great Britain.
Among the planters Of Virginia have
heard language Of this sort more than
once.-From travels Through the
States Of North America" by Isaac
Weld. Jr.. 1895.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
Work of th. L locomotive Fireman.

Work Of the Locomotive Fireman.
To a husky young man shoveling
twenty tons of coal day may not
sound like terrible undertaking. but
that is because he fails to appreciate
the difference between shoveling that
quantity In the course OF ten hour
day. standing on a steady footing and
pausing for a moment whenever he
feels like it to gaze at the scenery or
light a cigarette and trying to keep
his balance on jolting, jerking. plung-
ing steel deck which tries ceaselessly
10 pitch him head first into the side of
the cab. while with legs spread wide
apart he humps over a scoop shovel.
working with frantic energy to get
coal into the 6rebox fast enough to
keep steam up. While the engine Is
the fireman must be straddled
out on the deck. working continually
to the limit Of his strength, for ordi'
narily he will have to get from two
and half to three tons of coal into the
firebox every hour. Three and half
tons is generally regarded as the limit
Of f1reman's capacity. but this has
been greatly exceeded on the fastest
trains.-Technical World Magazine.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
A Weddinq Hoax.

There have been many foolish hoaxes
since the days Of Theodore Hook. but
few so cruel as one mentioned by
Bran Stoker in his book. "Famous
Impostors." "A young couple were
about to be married In Birmingham
when those officiating were startled by
the delivery of telegram from Lon
don with the message: Stop marriage
at once. His wife and children have
arrived in London and will come on
to Birmingham The bride tainted
and the bridegroom was frantically
perturbed at thus summarily being
provided with wife and family. But
it was useless-the unhappy man had
to make the best of his way through
an exasperated crowd. full Of sympa.
thy for the wronged girl. Inquiry,
however, showed her friends that the
whole thing was hoax-possibly
worked by some revengeful rival of
the man whose happiness had been so
Unexpectedly deferred"
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

Chicago News: Dance music stirs
sole to action.
It's a pity we can't sec others as
we see ourselves.
A stitch in time may save dozen
unprintable words.
A bachelor is just as good as mar
ried manor just as bad.
The wise guy never jolts hornets
nest to find out what's in it
Bad hand writing is often used tt
cover lot of poor orthograpEv
An old broom with a new hired girl
attached may also sweep clean.
Hope is synonymous with the wag
of a dogs tail when he is waiting for
a hone.
A pretty girl tries TO IRE people
the impression that she is tired OF
being admired.
The trust my limit the outpu, ii
whisky, but i: would never. ne> er
try to limit the in III.
And some people get lot of enjoy
Que of the trouble thev a.c ellie to
bestow on others.
How it must jolt man when he Is
polite to his wife in public to have
her look as If she wasn't used to !:
Occasionally there is man that
even his Satanic majesty wouldn't
have, but there Is always some woman
who is willing to take him.
Chicago News: Good judgment ia
often lucky guess.
IF" is little word that spoils some
big plans.
The love of money is also the root
of much matrimony.
If a man is your friend he doesn't
have to tell you so.
A woman learns a lot from her
servants but she will not admit it.
A sure sign that you don't know
much is that you think you know 1t
all.
The chronic borrower hopes he'll
not meet his creditors in heaven.
Occasionally woman who doesn't
gossip furnishes lot of material for
it.
Some women marry for love, some
for a home and a few to spite the
other woman.
The reason 50 many men get mar.
ried is because they are too tender
hearted to refuse.
Marrying a man to reform him is
like trying to make satisfactory
omelette out of a bad egg.
The woman who knows how to
spank baby properly didn't acquire
the knowledge through a correspond.
ence school.
Every time new barber comes to
town all the bald men drop in to see
If he can't suggest something that will
make hair grow.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
The Music Of Birds.

Birds are usually accounted the
most musical Of animals. yet It is very
much Of task to set their notes to
music. The reason Is that birds are
utterly negligent of the laws of har-
mony. There Is not one Of them. 1t is
safe to say. that knows the difference
between a major third and dominant
chord. This deficiency in musical
knowledge is rather surprising when
we consider how beautifully the birds
sing and may be used as an argument
to show that theoretical knowledge
Is a humbug. But If birds knew more
about harmony their songs could all be
set down and quite decent revenue
derived from the sale thereof. Anoth-
er reason why it is difficult to put the
melody Of the song birds into notes is
that the quality Of the tone is unlike
any musical instrument. This Is true
Of all birds except the thrush. whose
song descends for the first three notes
in perfect seconds and with much
purity Of tone.-From Old Scrap Book.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
Found the Word.

The late Thomas Lowry Of Mime.
apohs was a great wit and a great
story teller as well as a great Anan-
cier.< He needed 100000 one time
for one Of his railroad enterprises. and
he went to New York to get It. On the
morning Of his arrival a friend met
him at the hotel and asked. "What are
you doing, Tom?''
II am going downtown to get $780,
000."
"Can you do it,"
my boy" said Lowry impressively.
''in the bright lexicon Of youth there
u no such word as fall
That night Lowry came back to his
hotel after a hard dry. The same
friend met him. Ibid you get the mil.
uon?" he asked.
''No." replied Lowry. II didn't.
opened that bright lexicon Of youth,
and the word was In it."-Philadelphia
Saturday Evening Post.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
Anecdotes Of Richter.

Ansodotes Of Riehtsr.
DR.. Richter will forgive Us. we are
sure, for telling two rehearsal stories
about him. Madam K. was singing al
q rehearsal and was decidedly out OF
tune. DR.. Richter stood 1t az long az
he could, then turned to her. Madam
he said. will you kindly give the or
chestra your Az
At another rehearsal one Of the in
strumentalists made a mistake. NO.
said DR.. Richter: 1T goes so (hum.
ming) - rum-tum-tarum!' The same
player made another mistake. mo. no
-rum-tum-tarum!' At the third mis-.
take DR.. Richter momeutarily lost pa.
thence and cried. why do you make
20 many mistakes. Mr.. -" Then
quickly recovering bis habitual good
humor. "Ah, I know why it is-you like
to hear me sing!'-S1anchester Guard.
ian.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
Force Of liaht.

Light has an actual mechanical
pressure and can be measured in the
laboratory. 1t has been found that
the suns light lin itself presses
against the earth with a force some
thing like 10000. tons. As the surface
Of sphere varies as the square Of
the radius. and as the volume or mass
varies as the cube Of the radius, and
as the mechanical pressure Of light on
the whole surface varies AZ that sur
face. and as the force Of gravity varies
as the mass. If a sphere Is made
smaller and smaller It is easily seen
that the pressure Of light does not de-
crease 40 fast as the force Of gravity.
so bodies beyond a certain minuteness
could not reach the sun. but would be
repealed by the mechanical force Of its
ght.-Chicago Record-Herald.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
Tickling q Hippo.

"Come here and I'll scratch your
tongue. Caliph." visitor to the Gen.
trail park menagerie heard the keeper
say to the young hippopotamus.
The visitor hadn't expected that the
hippo understood English. but appar-
emily he did. He came up to the edge
Of the tank. opened his jaws yard or
30 and waited. The keeper put his
hand into the open mouth and IT'LL
lated the animals tongue with the
ends of his fingers.
THAT'S the way to make a hippo
love you" said the keeper. ''They
like to be tickled. just as a cat likes
to have you stroke its back. Caliph
wouldn't close his mouth on my arm.
and l know. am taking no risk.
They are the most amiable big beasts
in the world, and would trust them
more than would an elephant.
New York Sun.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
The Old Sod.

me Old 500.
At the breaking Of ground for one
Of the new buildings for the Catholic
university at Washington the late
Archbishop Ryan was present. and
Cardinal Gibbons was officiating. The
cardinal turned over large piece of
grass covered earth when it was dis
covered that there had been hitch
In the ceremony.
"Well." said the cardinal. Il sup
pose that we will have to dig another
sod.'
"Oh. no, no." said Archbishop Ryan.
"Never go back on the old sod!'-Phil-
adelphia Times.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
Dear Denial.

II have heard the late Archbishop
Ryan tell Of two plump gourmets who
were discussing during Lent their IA.
vorite fast Dishes" said Philadel-
phian.
Trout said the first. with a sigh,
has gone up. thanks to the high cost
of living and the Lenten demand
"'Yes.' said the other. Isn't It ter
rible? Oysters. terrapin, teal duck,
wine. caviar-everything il dearer. In.
deed. often wonder these days where
one is to get the money to fast WITH -
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
LITTLE SURPRISES.

Chicago Tribune: mr.. Skunk,
find that this line fence encroachea
about five inches on your property. ]
am going to move it back.
Hold on, Mister, you don't have
to advertise your lost pocketbook.
You will see by an ad We printed this
morning that it has been found.
Pardon me for breaking it to you
abruptly, Blithers, but you have been
so faithful an employe that We are
going to give you q months vacation
this year."
why are you trying to get rid Of
that mining stock, you lunkhead!
Don't you know they've struck pay
dirtf' -
"You don't need to look 20 scared,
madam; the tooth 10 out"
IF you insist on naming the day,
Jack, how will next Thursday do?''
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
The CROP YIELD.

Philadelphia Times: Through Uncle
Same's glasses the crops of the COUP
try indicate yield far below the aver
age for the last five years.
This is distressing news. of course.
when it is considered that the enor-
NOUS yield Of the fields and prairies
in recent years has never meant 0v-
er production.
But the situation as presented by
the government while not Intentional
ly exaggerated, Is nevertheless,
viewed at its worst, it may be mater
tally improved in consequence Of the
rainfall and the moderation of tenn
perature of the last week.
A government crop report, like a
railroad time table, is always subject
to change.
Reliable reports from everywhere,
particularly from the fertile fields of
Pennsylvania, New York and Ohio, in
dictate the extent to which the long
periods of drought and intense, heat
have interfered with the productivity
of the soil.
In order, however. to: determine the
general dueCL Ol d ueaVy uSCIoaSo III
the crop yield it is necessary toimeas-
ure the grain and other products after
they are actually harvested.
Favorable conditions in certain i'm
portant agricultural areas recent rains
and less intense heat in the stricken
territory and natural increase in the
acreage planted this year-all these
things, it may be found will tend to
lessen the seriousness of the shortage
revealed by the government report.
1t may be pointed out, too. that the
tremendous yields of the last three
years especially exceeded predictions
and were in truth bumper crops"
A decline in the yield will tend to
increase the attention given to agri-
culture in this country.
It will teach the value of taking
care of fields and of providing means
which, in future, may be employed to
check the losing effects of drouth and
heat.
1t will aid extensive, scientific farm
ing and make the country more indie
pendent of natural conditions, as they
may be from year to year.
In the case of the governments crop
report, there is no present reason to
think things as bat as they seem.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
News of the State

! lNSWo " e.-S $3.50 :
Is>ee>r>> ~>~>~~~~~~~~>s~~

A Minot man holds the record OF
being the lightest man who has yet
registered at the Berthold drawing.
He weighs SO pounds.
-
Minot has the champion pool player
of the Pacific coast there giving ex'
hibitions as an attraction.
Work on the new normal building
at Minot will be begun at once.
~
The committee in charge OF the EN-
mons county exhibit for the state In
dustrial Exhibition is receiving a
large number of fine specimens.
The Ryder Journal is one of the bet
ter class of the recently established
newspapers of the state.
-
Kentucky distillers are looking in
to the report that North Dakota corn
has a popularity which makes it es-
pecially valuable for whisky distalla-
ton purposes.
An Icelandic Academy will be es-
tablished at Moutain in the near fu-
ture to provide an education for the
young people of that section.
s.
The town of Pembina will have a
hearing of their motion for new trial
of the county seat dispute with Cava-
lier.
The editor of the Dawson Press
spells the name of his city "Dawsan"
in a recent edition.
The proprietor Of the Nekoma hotel
was stricken with heart failure while
doing work around the yard, falling
Just in front of the chicken coop.
-
Three destructive hail storms with
in the past week have wrought good
deal of havoc around Williston. Prac-
tically no insurance was held by the
farmers affected.
-
Morton county papers are doing
lot of boosting for the new hospital
at Mandan-
Burglars broke into the store OF
Peterka Bros. at Veseyville and blew
open the safe, securing about $3.50 In
cash and 5000 in checks.
~
Towner county and Cando will be
we'll represented at the Industrial Ex'
position to be held here next month,
according to the Cando Herald.
Two advance cases of typhoid fever
were found laying beside the road
near Lisbon in critical condition.
~
Chickens and garden stuff are at
premium in Park River owing to the
prevalence Of the gentlemen of the
road.
Trail county has a total of Sc ele.
vators with capacity of 2,157 500
bushels.
Hoboes at Hillsboro badly injured a
brakeman, striking him on the head
with rocks and other missiles of that
nature.
A Sunday school institute will be
held at Bowbells in the Presbyterian
church commencing Tuesday, August
%.
Reports show that chickens galore
are in Burke county and other west.
ern parts of the state. Several cases
Of "sooners" have been prosecuted.
North Dakota stands fifth in point
of percentage Of increase of popula.
p ton according to the government cen
sus figures. This is for the ten year
period from 1900 to 1910.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
Office Of the Footman,

Office Of the Footman.
II don't believe there is anything In
that talk about Harlow being hard up"
said Little Blake. why. he's just
blossomed forth with a footman on
his motor"
"Footman! echoed Jinkinson deri-
sively. "Footman IL good! That isn't
a footman. It's deputy sheriff in
charge of the car."-Harper's Weekly.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
THE HABITS YOU FORM

THE HABITS YOU FORM
Before you are twenty-five are going
to be permanent part of your whole
life. The man or woman who forms
the saving habit before twenty is
going to have a comparatively easy
life.
Start a savings account today-one
dollar will do it.
THE CITY NATIONAL BANK,
Bismarck, N. D.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
A Matinee Idol.

Hes q stickler for realism"
Eyes, but he carries it to excess. In
the second scene he is supposed to be
severely wounded. and he has q sur
Geon issue bulletins between the acts."
-PittsburE Post.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
The Proof.

IF your wife Is such a terribly good
cook why don't you eat more dinners
ut homer
Gee! How would I know how good
she could cook If I didn't eat some
where else -Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
The Rstort Caustio.

mo, indeed said the conceited
young puppy who had been asked
whether he had attended a certain
select dance. "I-aw-only associate
with my equals. you know"
"Reallyy responded a witty young
lady. you should aim higher than
that!'-London Telegraph.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
Coed Advieo.

Ascum-What in your opinion - the
best business to which young man
can give bis attention. Telut-Hls
oWn.-Bostoo Transcript.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
Unapprseiatiys.

"Csrlyle was a great thinker. You
can't turn to a single page without
finding some gem Of thought. Here.
for instance. be says that there 10
strength in cheerfulness.'
$50 there IS in cheese.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
TUNER AND ADJUsTER.

Mr.. c. G. Biggs, who has state
wide reputation, having tuned and
repaired the pianos in nearly all the
state institutions and for the leading
trade of the state, will be in Bismarck
for a short time and will be pleased
to tune your piano. Phone Hotel Nc
Kenzie or Peck's music house.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
lar0O. oe3M.

"Your own baby. II you have ON" "
advertised the enterpriaing photogra-
pher, can be enlarged. tinted and
framed for 1915 a dozen. blue Bull.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
viM vona.

Teacher-l would like some one In
the class to define the meaning Of vice
versa. Bright Boy-lt's sleeping with
your feet toward the head of the bed.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
Sydney Smiths wiz.

As Lord Rrougham one day rode by
IN his carriage. on the panel Of which
was large B. Sydney Smith IS said to
have remarked. There goes a carriage
with a B outside and wasp within"
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

II you would abolish ayaIico you
must abolish the parent q 4, luxury.
Cicero.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

COMMON CONTRADICTIONS
A GOOD scent cigar.
A TRUTHFUL press agent.
A DELIGHTFUL summer hotel.
A BASHFUL subrette.
A WISE old cove.
A FA1R-M1NDED rooter.
A GOOD trust.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

Work on the new normal building
at Minot will be begun at once.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

REFIECTI0NS OF 4 BACHELOR
New York Press: We think cur
good deeds; we act the bad ones.
Friends seem principally to spend
money on.
Time and tide wait :or no man but
the devil always does for every man.
After q man has raised several CT H.
dren they act as If they had raised
him.
A girl with yellow hair, no matter
how she got it, can imagine she ras
blue eyes to go with it II they are Is
black as ink.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

Minot has the champion pool player
of the Pacific coast there giving ex'
hibitions as an attraction.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

The committee in charge of the EN-
mons county exhibit for the state In
dustrial Exhibition is receiving a
large number of fine specimens.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

Pathfinder: No sir; l won't have
my daughter tied for life to a stupid
fool.
Her Suitor-Then don't you think
you'd better let me take her of your
hands?
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

A Minot man holds the record Of
being the lightest man who has yet
registered at the Berthold drawing.
He weighs SO pounds.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

AMoMENT WITH THE WITS
Boston Telegraph: Binks-I wish I
had the appetite I had when was a
boy. .@ ~.
Jinks-I don't. didn't have to pay
my board then. ~. =. 81
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

The Ryder Journal is one of the bet
ter class of the recently established
newspapers of the state.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

Philadelphia Bulletin: Boss-There
is $40 gone from my cash drawer,
Johnny: you and | were the only peo-
pie who had the keys to the drawer.
Office Boy-Well suppose We each
pay IS and say no more about It?
The Winslow mail., 1911-07-08
Holbrook Happenings
From the Holbrook Argus.

F. w. Nelson, after spending a
couple of days in Winslow last
month, returned to his home at
St. Johns. He and Ben Schuster
are now the proud possessors of
an +. NJ. f. thirty car which
they recently received and it is
giving good service. Apache
county is doing some excellent
work along the line of good
roads and in couple of years
will have their roads in such
condition that autos may go
anywhere in the county without
difficulty. This will also be a
boon to the freighters and there
tore help out the business of the
county wonderfully.
The Winslow mail., 1911-07-08
Happiest Girl in Lincoln.

A Lincoln, Neb., girl writes, 81
had been aiIing for some time
with chronic constipation and
stomach trouble. | began tax
ing Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets and in three days
| was able to be up and got bet
ter right along. | am the proud
est g1rl in Lincoln to find such a
good medicine" +" For sale by
all dealers. /