The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-06-22
THE GRASS
WIDOW
By M. QUAD
BY M. QUAD
Copyright. 1910. by Associated Lit
erary Press

When q widow is not a widow, bu
has a husband hiking around tn,
country somewhere, they call her {
grass widow. The term might as wei
be hay widow or straw widow. bu
1t is always given as grass.
Miss Minerva Saunders was a gras:
widow. She should have called her
self Mrs, but the report had come tC
her that her missing husband. Abel
had been seen to drown himself in q
millpond. She waited a year and then
called herself Miss and removed tC
| Perbinsville. She had not been there
three months when Moses Drew
! farmer, saw her at church and ad
mired her and began counting He
should have been told straightaway
that Abel was a deceiving husband
and that that drowning business might
| have been one of his little tricks, but
he wasn't. He went right ahead and
courted under the idea that he was in
love with a miss. About eight months
after meeting the woman he asked
her to be his wife. 1t was then nearly
two years since the absconding Abel
was supposed to have gone to the bot
tom Of the pond, and Miss Saunders
blushed and stammered and said she
guessed so.
That was enough for one night. On
the next the wedding day was set
On the second the wedding day was
planned. On the third as the happy
couple sat holding hands the absconder
walked into the house. He had not
been drowned. He had not come any
where near It. or course there was
excitement. more of 1t than as If
circus elephant had broken loose.
Abel apologized for his advent He
was sorry he came. He realized what
a worthless critter he was and he
could never forgive himself for hav-
ing broken up happy marriage. He
would go right away and commit sui
eide and let the matrimonial event
take place. He asked for a dollar and
got it and then disappeared. Mr..
Drew had to be talked to in a sooth-
ing way for long time, but he finally
sat himself down to wait until the
grass widow became a real widow.
In about three months a stranger call
ed on Mrs. Saunders to say that he
lived twenty miles away and was a
carpenter He had a man named Abel
Saunders up on the scaffold with him
one day when it fell TO the ground and
Abel was a dead man. He only had
time to tell his name and express the
hope that his dear Minerva would now
go ahead and marry Moses.
In five days more the preacher would
have tied the knot, but Abel walked
into the house again. 1t was some one
else that had fallen from the scaffold
and been buried by the town. II pro-
vided with a cheap suit of clothes he
would make an end of himself this
time
Three months went by and nothing
from Abel. During this interval there
was no talk about the wedding day.
There must be no more surprises. It
was lucky that the couple had gone
slow. Mrs. Saunders received by mail
from a town fifty miles away five af-
fidavits that a man who had been
found frozen to death in snow bank
was the lamented Abel. AS the frozen
legs had broken short off in carting
the body around there was no doubt
Of death.
"Please excuse me for saying these
look good to me-" said Mr.. Drew as
he looked up after reading the affida-
Wits.
Eyes, Abel is sure gone this time"
sighed the wife.
An hour later Abel Saunders walked
in and held his toes to the fire to toast. |
Minerva succeeded In fainting away.
but Moses Drew arose In his anger
and shouted out:
'Then you were not frozen stiffT
"Me? Oh, nor
"And they didn't break the legs OF
your carcassr'
LEGS? Oh, my legs are all right"
sand you've come backr'
"Come back? Yes, but I'm not going |
to stay long. thought I'd go out skat-
ing tomorrow and skate into an air |
hole. You can both come along and
see me do It, and then there won't be
any more false alarms"
you go to grass, sir, and I'll 20
home! This Is pretty muss for a re-
spectacle man to get intow
Mr.. Drew stamped out Of the house,
and Minerva got chilly on the floor
and returned to consciousness to fall |
to weeping and to wall out:
"Oh, Abel. I couldn't have believed
1t Of your
mo. Of course not. I orter got
frozen, but didn't. I'll be all right
tomorrow, though. Don't cry, Nerva;
don't cry"
"But Mosesv'
"Oh, he'll be all right in a day or
two. Just feels hurt at my coming
back. Thinks 1 don't mean to skate
into an air hole, but he shall see. Yes,
skate right in, and that will be the last
Of me. Cheer right up. girl"
1t Is matter Of record that Abel
Saunders went out on the millpond
next morning and kept his promise.
More than twenty persons saw him
deliberately skate into an air hole and
bis body shoot over the high dam.
They looked for 1t. and though 1t was
not recovered there was no doubt about
the death. Three months later the
ong delayed marriage took place. It
III