The Cairo bulletin., 1911-05-17
Dad E anne.

Drifkia.ef so mute VINO mad JUS
had a hodfni of briefs fall on MI
feeti Itrpl}t EN- nu ycr topt rhat',
noihln Why. | seen Il dukp get EiIi
ed Stone dead an d never made sur
q hioomin fuss as you're doil,. ~
don Tit BITS
Looking Eaokv ard.
Were you nervous when YOU pro-
posed 10 your wife, asked the septi.
mental person.
No replied Mr. Meekton, "but If [
could have forcseen the uext ten years
! would have been" Washington
Star.
Her Fruit.
II wish was fish," sighed Susie.
"Why?"
Cause papa said the ocean was full
OF currents, and like currants better
than any kind Of fruit 'cept bananas.
4 apples, oranges and sweet potatoesg'--
Pittsburg Press.
Faith Unsi1akon.
Is that man a reliable weather
prophet."
a should say he IS" replied Farmer
Corntuksel- Sometimes his weather
lis Il few days ahead of time or a few
days hehindhand, hut ii always gets
here, =" Washington Star.
4 Costly Lie.
MY wife found 4 POKER chip III my
pocket. and | told her il was dyspep
ssia tablef.'
"fhnt was clever"
tfar from IT! She swallowed the
chip. and the doctors bills cost me
more than the iick pot
Heard In the Hall.
You don't know enough to stay III
whenit rains" derisivcIy said the cane
to the umbrella
Look here" retorted the umbrella
such bluffs from Il mere stick like vou
don't m with me- Ms motto il Put
UP or shut I'M every time"
SoSh DocirabIe.
1ou say YOU married once for layo
and once for money!"
II did"
wen, what's your verdict?"
~ "ouid ne nice II one |
could combine little Of h."-Louis.
vile Courier-Journal
A Fatal Omission.
II can't for the life of me make out
what my wife is driving at in this let.
ters"
"0f course you can't, old chan. Don,t
you see that she forgot TO add the nost-
script|-New Orleans Times-Demo.
crat.
Both Hoped
I ''Well, may hope, then, dearest, |
that at some time may have the SUI
perlative happiness of making you my
wife?"
4 Yves: I hope so, I am sure" she re-
Piled II am tired of suing fellows for
breach of promise
Only ON the Outside.
aWhy, Ethel, you don't mean to tel |
me YOU want to marry that baldhead-
ed Professor Wisemanf'
ut is true he is bald" said Ethel, |
abut think how many young men OF
today are bald on the inside OF their
nsaas' /"
- His Promstlon.
"pa,D said little Johnnie, teacher Is
thinking about promoting me-"
"How do you know"
"From what she said today"
sand what was thatT'
"She said IL / kept Oh I'd belong to |
the criminal class"
He Paid It.
Everbroke--I want to pay You some |
thing on account. Tailor rubbing his !
hands, All, I'm glad to see you. Ever
broke Yes; want to pay you COM
pliment on your artistic way Of dun.
ming. Sh-not a word! You deserve
1t. Good morning"
injustice.
Wife, can't see why. because w0- !
man marries a man, she should take |
his name.
Husband--I quite agree with you. l
think that the poor chap ought to
have something which he can call bis
own.-Illustrated Bits.
Relay Event.
"Son, how would you like to enter a
relay eyentp
"Fine, dad. was star at relay
events In college"
$50 I've heard you say. Well, your
ma ID about ready to relay the car
Washington Herald.
Proper and Common.
What Is the difference" said n
teacher, between a proper noun III
q common noun?' The answer VI
not devoid of logic, but rather une
pected. IA proper noun is a not
used properly, and q common noun !
q noun used commonly"
a Financler.
/ Maud-Tsnt the man you are en-
gagged to a Spectator?
Clara--No, indeed He's flnancier.
Elbow do you know?"
tile didn't buy the engagement ring
until after / had accepted him. Elk
change.
''Butterfnger is awfully absentmind-
cd"
"What is his latest"
He was driving nail and ham
mered bis thumb. He howled and put
the nail In his mouth and tried to
ding his thumb on the floor"
a Statesrnan's Queer Ambition.
The great Lord Grey had an ambi-
tion far above politics. He had passed
tkr.Bss exf.. t.tH iAx.