The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1911-05-19

HERSELF

foruad fftv-one weeks in the year,
and could enjoy life for only seven
DAVIS. | think I'd choose to be awake
bargain week at the stores
81 have had the most beautiful time
this week just being busy. one uay
would go downtown and BUY tnihss
and have them sent home ana the
next day I'd go down and take them
hack Between whites I'd show them
n all nv friends who dropped in and
have them tell me why they dlun
like my selections. When noDouy
dropped in I'd call on them and ex-
nlain to them why l disapproved OF
their purchases and advise them TO
return them at once. or course All
this criticism was taken in the proper
spirit.
when you've purchased a perfect
love of a blue chiffon gown and get II
home only to find it is purple instead
of blue, you wouldn't have any re-
spect for a friend who didn't say II
was a horror and tell you TO run
back with it. Things do look diner
ent the next day-have, you ever no
ticed? Even men find it so. passed
the necktie counter in dry goods
store the other day and man with a
panied face was talking confidentially
to the clerk.
Say he was complaining, when
this was in the window 1t was bee
yutiful lavender dream, and when
tried it on at home it was nothing
but a sartorial crime, so kindly take
it back and let me buy can of tooth
powder in it's place. l need a snow
shovel. too-do you carry EN-!
1--WE always regarded myself as
person of q sane and just mind" went
on the young woman who had just
come in, but recent occurrences have
shaken that belief. You know that
when you plant woman in the midst
of mountains of $S5 dresses marked
down to $50 and hurl at her bewild-
cred head 5000 opera coats that are
marked down to $50 and thrust upon
her sight hats that a month ago had
$50 tags attached to their brims and
now have nice little black marks
below them, she can't be blamed for
going a little mad and buying reck-
lessly. Then on the way home she
adds up her purchases mentally, feels
nervous, dashes for her checkbook as
soon as she reaches her room-and
fsds, to her sickening horror, that,
while her bank account totals ninety
nHd oh
worth of stuff that she is trustingly
expected to pay for at the first of
the month.
'Is it any wonder she lies awake all
night waiting for the hour to come
when she can tear downtown to be
at the store when its doors open?
Why, regular groove has been worn
in the store floors to the returned
goods desks these days.
IF l go downtown bargain week
with the mild intention of buying a
spool of thread, bolt of baby ribbon
and a box of handkerchiefs, I'm just
as likely as not to come home with
fifteen yards of silk marked down
from $3.50 yard to 90 cents, a new
?
that l can't possibly wear the hat
with any outfit I possess and that
the silk is a color that makes me look
like broiled mushroom, and some
body points out that spring Is almost
here and instead of a fur coat. what
really need is a linen buster and a
parasol.
IF you think it is fun trying to
hand good money to the man behind
the counter for some yards of silk
It's because you know nothing of what
| gentle woman will do at a sale. II
| is enough to discourage and apnall
any mild hammered person when a
woman with a sharp chin and Wig.
orous arm muscles reaches over your
shoulder and grabs the bolt of silk
you are considering and sings It nm
on the pile she already has in her
arms, then smashes her way through
the crowd to the door to consider her
plumber In the daylight. Presently sbe
will return to the edge of the mob
about the counter and hurl the whole
armful across the heads of the inter.
Vening shoppers In the direction NJ
the clerk, with the remark that che
should think decent store would ho
ashamed to show such goods. Occa.
sionally one of the bolts so burled
hits the counter, but most of them
descend on the innocent hystanders
like the unexpected sticks from ev.
ploded skyrockets. 1t is disconcertinp
when twenty yards of green brocads
land on your willow plumes and drive
a hatpin into your skull, although NJ
course, you can't help but sdmire the
skill of the woman who achieves snch
q result with one simple twist of tbe
wrist
No" concluded the young woman
who had just come In, 81 can't stav gor
tea, because Pm on my way downtowr
TO take back three silk petticoats that
don't match the dresses honass