Evening journal., 1911-08-31
GUNPsWDER AND KID

we were HuCn culneu the OLneI Qdy
in reading an account of a cook on
board the ship President Lincoln who
fed a lot of Limburger cheese to
hippopotamus, which was being trans
ported from its native lair to a 20
illogical garden. From the veracious
article in question we learned that
upon eating the cheese the guileless
beast sneezed with the violence only
possible to a hippopotamus The
friendly cook became frightened,
jumped back quickly, tripped over
Delaying pin, slipped under the lee
scuppers or some of the more init
mate fixings Of the ships deck, and
fell into the Atlantic ocean, the Presi-
dent Lincoln being at the moment In
process of proceeding over the raging
main. as the feller says. From
probable watery grave the cook was
rescued by his shipmates with much
difficulty. almost incredible wetness
and picturesque language.
AS is we'll stated in a recent paper.
read before the June meeting of the
Pilsener Literary and
Scientific Circle by Prof. Charles Ok,
the true Lmburger cheese is the only
article known to students Of organic
chemistry which possesses a sense Of
humOr DR.. Ok i'm his able paper
compared the Limburger cheese of
commerce to the onion which, as is
pointed out by Herr Bugge, of Ant
werp, is the only member of the vege-
table kingdom which possesses a
similar sense.
Or. Ok further pointed out the re-
markable fact that both the onion
and the Limburger cheese possess a
radioactive power which is as per-
vasive as the ultraviolet rays. This
is most clearly shown in the distress
ing account of the cook who fell over
board 1t will be noted that the
well-known sense of humor of the
cheese, being thrown in conjunction
with the total lack of humor sense
of the hippopotamus, Immediately be-
came radioactive to a degree, which
nearly caused the elimination of the
active cooking principle inherent in
the galley-steward of the President
Lincoln. From this fact DR.. Ok
rightly concludes that under given
conditions Limburger cheese is highly
dangerous, not TO say ferocious, and
is liable to cause drowning or at least
the intense sensation Of suffocation.
AS we limited some days ago in this
column, our own researches along
similar lines have led us to believe
that this same power is possessed by
sour krout. DR.. Bradford, OF the
Philadelphia North American, has
found the characteristic "sploo" OF
this organic substance in Reading,
Littitz and in certain environs of
Philadelphia. Doubtless it exists in
other localities and its pursuit offers a
most improving field for the original
investigator.
Mr.. Sinclair complains that he is
constantly shadowed by reporters.
This is a distressing state of affairs
to the retiring soul of the advertiser,
as will be recalled in the case OF the
\ late p. r. Barnum and that truly
! shrinking violet method employed by
Elbert Hubbard To have secreted
a novel presently about to be sprung
on a long-suffering public, and then
, to have ones statements occupying
columns of valuable space next 10
pure reading matter on the hrst page
of newspapers must be nerve-raehng
to a sensitive nature. The case is
indeed sad one.
The whole affair reminds Perkins
of a friend Of his who met a woman
friend one day. "Did your husband
die?" he asked her. NO, he resign
ed" she replied.
Today's Lexicon contest: "Smither.
was so thirsty he said he could drini
, whole gyle."