Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1911-06-08
HIS WASTED
EFFORTS

If Pearlie Fattershall had told him
to shave his hair In tufts and to walk
down Main street on his hands and
his heels in the air Tom Flanz would
have obeyed her.
At least that's what everybody In
town said. They also said 1t was per
fectly ridiculous what slave a man
could make Of himself just because
he had fallen in love with girl.
That fall Pearlie began raving over
the football players on the state uni
versity team, whose pictures were in
all the weekly papers, and what made
1t more serious was the fact that Ben
Tirlit one of the town boys and a
rival of Toms, was on the team. Tom
shivered to think of the holiday vaca-
ton, when Ben would be home and
Pearlie could worship him in person.
Tom realized to the full the vaga-
ries OF the feminine heart. He knew
that mere worth did not count against
brass buttons or Drawn and Ben 1ir-
lit certainly had plenty of the latter
He looked like young OK, Tom bit
terly reflected, gazing at the football
team as pictured in the window Of
Peterson's drug store
Every time he went to call on Pear
lie nowadays she recited the football
scores to him and inquired If he didn't
think the run that Ben Tirlit made in
the last game was perfectly wonder
full! She said she just loved athletic
men
That settled 1t. Tom Flanz was
built on fat and bulky lines, but if
Pearlie liked EN- athletic, why, ath-
letic he would be. There was some
thing heroic about Tom Flanz's whole
souled sacrifice of himself. What he
really liked was big plateful OF
buckwheat cakes for breakfast and
an easy chair and riding instead of
walking. but he held grimly to his
diet, religiously swung his Indian
clubs. painstakingly worked his pat
ent eXercser and walked Ave miles
day.
I'm training down." he told Pearlie
Fattershall with pride. Il really have
got lot OF muScle!"
Have you?" she asked, absently.
II shouldn't have thought 1t. Did you
ever play football when you were at
college?"
What chance, Tom Flanz reflected
desperately on the way home, had
fellow tied down by business against
a great lazy loafer at school, who did
nothing but chase football over the
ground? Then he redoubled his exer-
else.
1t was such serious matter with
him that his friends began to take an
interest. They all knew that Tom
was immolating himself because Pear
lie Fattershall liked athletic men.
They took personal interest in his
cutting out Ben Tirlit. and when that
young gentleman came home at holt
day time and took Pearlie to the
dance they were indignant They
considered that she was playing I'M
fairly.
But Tom kept on with his exercise
and his diet. He began to grow thin,
naturally, but that did not satisfy him,
for he yearned for the bulk and Drawn
Of Tirlit. However, he could not
have the bulk without achieving 1t by
fat. and this worried him.
He read all the sporting pages of
the city newspapers in order to en-
liven his conversation by scores and
gossip and thus prove to Pearlie that
he took an abiding interest in arh-
letics. Instead of being impressed by
this she took it as matter of course.
People do like sports and ath-
letics," she sighed. did you happen
to notice what the last football score
was?"
Il can lift ten pounds more than
any other man in town." Tom told her
one day late In the winter
Can you?" Pearlie asked politely
What's the use?"
Tom Flanz's jaw dropped IL
thought you liked athletic mem" he
stammered out You're 80 crazy over
the football news and Ben Tirlit and
things like that 1--we been trying
to qualify, Peariie. knew you
wouldn't like me just for myself and
I've been working hard at athletics
this winter. / can't play football, but
I can do lots of other things!"
Pearlie Fattershall looked at him
with startled eyes. DO you mean to
say" she began, Indignantly, that
you've deliberately gone about getting
thin and scrawny and like a picked
chicken, as you have been lately, be-
cause you thought I'd like you better?
My goodness, Tom Flanz, l like you
heaps better when you're fat and COM
Portable, and don't care If you're ath-
letic or not! Why, you-are you'll"
"Pearlie," breathed Tom Flanz In
voice broken with emotion, why
the dickens didn't you tell me that
early last fall? Think of all the buck
wheat cakes I've missedi"