Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-02-10

4 nod, when he knocked mamma opened
the door and said, %, Lord, we dom
want any tomatoeslY
Mrs. De Flat-Can you show me any
thing new in folding beds?
Dealer-0nly this, madam, and it real
| " is quite a success. On arising in tine
morning you touch spring, and it turns
into washstand and bathtub. After YOU
bath you touch another spring, and il
becomes a dressing-case with French
plate mirror. II you breakfast in your
room, a slight pressure will transform il
| into an extension table. After breakfast
you press three buttons at once, and you
have an upright piano. That's all it will
do, except that when you die it can bt
changed into rosewood coffin.
"Now wonder" thought Alphonso,
the new husband who was commercial
traveller and away from home, what
Arabella is doing at this precise moment
81 WONDER" he repeated, what she il
doing"
Then q brilliant idea struck him and
he visited the nearest spiritualist medium.
"What?' said Alphonso, for the third
time, sis Arabella doing?"
"She is looking out of the window, F"
replied the medium, evidently expect
ing somebody"
"That is strange" said Alphonso.
"Whom can she expect?'
"Ahl" continued the medium, "some
one enters the house and che caresses
him fondly."
"It can't bel" cried the excited hus.
Ill. Z, &~..< -. 49,,
''Now she lays his head on her lap and
looks tenderly into his eyes"
'NonsenseP roared the jealous hus-
band.
''Now she kisses him."
'It's falsei" yelled Alphonso.
The medium saw that he had gone far
enough.
Now" he said, che ways his tall"
Upon conclusion of the reading
Of the jokes, an old time spelling bee
was next declared in order, the
members lining up on either side,
and the words to be spelled were
propounded by Miss Lewis, whose
training as school teacher go well
equipped her for this role.
The following from Carleton de-
scriptive Of the country school spell
ing match may not be inappropri-
ate for reproduction at this time:
There they stood like young globe bat
tiers, with no salary enriched,
Waiting for the words momentous that
the dexterous teached pitched.
And he hurled the first one at them, like
anicely twisted ball,
While the catcher just behind them was
the horny-handed wall;
The first boy struck and missed it, and
his face was deeply vexed,
As the teacher scowled a cyclone, and
Moderated next
Then fair-haired maiden tried it with
some sympathetic aid,
And avoiding certain blunder that her
predecessor made;
But she happened, too, to wonder from
the photographic text;
And the teacher smiled in pity, as be
softly murmured next
Then a cross-eyed boy struck at it, who
te this day spells by ear
| And red-haired girl attacked it, with
pale eyes full Of fear.
| And the word flew on, till one boy, very
ignorant, but sharp-eyed,
Spelled it by the only method that. had
not as yet been tried. =
Then the teacher smiled approval, and
with satisfaction said,
That is right, my studious scholar, you
can 60 up head
The following queries were read !:
What is the meaning of Michigan?
Great lake.
What does the name Kentucky signify?
Dark and bloody ground.
What country is the most thickly pop
ulated on earth?
Europe.
How many people to tie square mile?
1861 :.
In what States are the following names
given to the citizens:
Lizards? Alabama; Toothpicks? Ar
kansas; Gold Hunters? California; Ro-
vers? Colorado; Wooden Nutmegs? Con-
necticut because State ia called the Nut
meg State, or Land of Steady Habits.
Blue Hens, Chickens and Muskrats?
Delaware blue Hen STATED; Fy-up-the-
Greeks? Florida; Buxzards? Georgia;
Suckers? Illinois; Hawkeyes? Iowa
(Hawkeye State); Hoosiers? Indiana
lHoosier STATED; Jayhswkes? Kansas;
Corncrackers? Kentucky; CreolesP Louis
lana; Foxes? Maine.
What is the origin and history of st.
Valentines Day7
st. Valentines Day originated, or is
celebrated, ON the 14th day Of February,
because st. Valentine, one of the Bish-
ops of Rome during the Third Century,
and most amiable and remarkable ora
tor, very successful in converting pagans
to Roman Christians, was martyred BY
the order of the Emperor on February
14th, A. ID. 270. When the Saint came
to be placed in the calendar, his name
was given 10 the day of his death. The
old form OF valentine was ridiculous
caricauture OF male or female figure
with few buriesque verses below. Re-
Gently it has become of an artistic or SEN
timental kind.
The following program was an
nounced for next meeting:
Jokes. Curry Macpherson.
Reading Baker.
Gray's Elegy---Miss Clyde Blanche.
Debate: Resolved, That the boys Of
Tensas Parish should organize q corn
club.
Administrations Curry.
Negative---Joe Pasternac.
The club expressed its pleasure
at the number of guests present and