davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-21

ACRES WITH A 5-ROOM BUNGALOW, DT.
rectly on the Rockville trolley: fine spring
will make an ideal chicken plant Price
$500. See us for farms and country homes
THE NATIONAL FARM AGENCY, 132 10th
st. NV.
FOR SALE - FARMS. NEAR ROCKVILLE
electric, from 80 to a25 acres; prices SO to
500 per acre. small farms, 3 to 20 acres.
Suburban homes along Rockville electric. Ad.
dress CYRUS KEISER SON. Bethesda, Md. |;
phone Cleve. 17-R.
FOR SALE = 90O-ACRE FARM: ORCHARD
nearly 1000 young trees, mostly apple trees:
miles Of city: near schools and churches; big
money made in fruit growing: price. $50 acre
STONE 4 FAIRFAX. 1912 New York ave.
DENTISTRY.
ANNIVERSARY MONDAY.
Continuing the entire week only, We will make
You A Beautiful SET OF TEETH for $500,
the same other dentists charge % and SO
Limited number of sets, 20 call early or phone
your order.
ARMY AND NAVY PAINESS DENTIST.
Entrance GO + ST.. cor. of 9TH.
Rnrneuii-,r tho address aUi i.t'srf Main 800.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-21

FOR SALE-LOOK AT MY WELL. BUILT PER-
ble-dash six.ro houses: tiled bath: . covered
porches: rear bay windows: hardwood through
ont: handsome mantels. gas fixtures, paper and
shades laundry and toilet in cellar, with front
aHl rear entrances. Price. $40 W. II. a.
THOMPSON. owner and Builder ;SOo Georgia
ave Pctworth. 23s
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-21

';IESBORO POINT. II. q. United States Engi-
Office aud the Office OF the Commissioners
~ the District OF Columbia. Pablo hearing
will be given in the Municipal Building OF the
District OF Columbia. February 2. 1911, ~ =
PM, TO all persons interested In the establish
ment Of harbor lines at Giesboro Point. d. C..
Maps showing proposed harbor lines are on view
ri the United States Engineer Once go 18th
street. Northwest. Washington. ID. &. W. C..
I.ANGFITT 1t. Col. Engrs. EDW. NJ. MARK
HAM Captain. Engrs. jazz %, "a, Is. 81 ,fe1
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-21

MOV1NG, Ell.
]. ii. POORE EXPRESS co.
Furniture. baggage and pianos moved. Pack
ing. shipping aud storage. N. QCACkENBUSH,
Manager {32 nth 81. NV. NJ 453J.
FURNITURE, BAGGAGE AND PIANOS MOVED
with care. Phone Main 20lO. kKEI0 s Elk
PRESS 1924 st. NV. Packing and shin
ping u speciality. Storage.
WE MOVE ANYTHING FROM SMALL BONES
and baggage to the heaviest machinery. safes,
etc. Furniture in padded vans u specially,
Estimates furnished.
MERCHANTS TRANSFER 4 STORAGE CO.
O2o-a22 ST. Main 600
dogs PETS. ETC.
One cent a word each time for IL words 3 times
BEAUTIFUL YOUNG BLACK FEMALE PER-
sian cat. cheap: lady leaving town. iiJ
TWO THOROUGHBRED FOX TERRIER PUP
pies. = months: male. HARRY Il. HAYES
Sta. Il. Washington, ID. e. Ss
HOSPITAL. FOR ANIMALS IS OPEN FOR VS.
itors. Telephone inquiries cheerfully answered
Special rates for long-tern or boarders.
Phone " 1903. oI13-i5 14th st. NV.
PAPERHANGING.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-21
For SALE-HOUSES.

FOR SABE-<S. sJO.
ON THE HEIGHTS WEST OF IaTH ST
UNUSUALLY ATTRACTIVE 3-SrORY. Rp.
MAN BRICK RESIDENCE. BAY WINDOW
STONE STEPS AND TRIMMINGS ON FRONT,
10 VERY LARGE ROOMS : BATHS; HOT
WATER HEAT; CHARTERED OAK FLOoRS
AND TRIM AND MANY OTHER ATTRN'
TIVE FEATURES NOT To BE FOUND IN
THE AVERAGE HOUSE. ADJOINING
HOUSES HELD At Sl5Woo.
THIS Is A SNAP. ACT QUICKLY.
L. W. GROOMES. 14to G. STREET.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-21

FOR SALIENT PLEASANT BARGAIN.
Full three-story pressed brick: nine rooms,
reception hall, tiled bath, porcelain tub con-
crete cellar, laundry servants closet. furnace
heat; wide and deep lot: alley. Estate prop
erty; must be sold Cost 5000; would like
ofYer OF $4,2J0
GARDINER & DENT. INC,
S12 l4th st.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-21
GARDINER & DENT Unc.D.
So 14tli ST.

FOR SALE
WASHINGTON HEIGHTS BARGAIN.
Out -of-town owner having had financial set
hack In compelled to dispose Of this house at
sacrifice. Located In one Of the hest sections
in this city: surrounded 10y many high-cass
residences. The house is OF colonial design.
and contains ten rooms, two tiled baths; heat
cd by hot water. Built about two years To
sell for $50. Price to quick buyer, 81 900.
Trust Of 81. 500 at SCI can remain.
GARDINER & DENT tlnc.l
Sl2 l4th st.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05

When | am dead" said the stenog-
rapher. Il wonder who will be able
to reveal the secrets of these books. ="
The books referred to were diaries.
There were four of them. She had
written in them that night from dicta-
ton
ITO keep a diary in shorthand is
the latest method of keeping a record
of the days proceedings a secret from
the rest of the family" she said.
Some folks have refrained from writ
ing in diary through fear that it
might rise up some time and shrek
dread revelations at them. With the
notes taken down in shorthand there
isn't much danger of that, especially
If the stenographer has devised a
system of her on a that is perfectly
unintelligibe TO other stenographers.
THAT is what have done, and !
have several customers whose diaries
are enriched by my most abstruse
style. So long as | am alive those
people will be able to find out what
happened to them on certain day,
but II | should die before they do good
ness knows who would refresh their
memory"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05
BUTTONS WINS MANS HEART
ment Fasteners Because of Yer
sstlity In Domestic Arts.

New York-Infatuated with her
grace at the dance given at the home
of Miss Marguerite Fitch, at 81 West
Eighty-second street, a year ago. Jo-
seph Haag, a representative of a
Rochester button mandatory, sought
and obtained an introduction to Miss
Josephine Julian of No. 81 West Fifty
eighth street Mr.. Haags infatuation
was increased a few days later when
he called and discovered she was YER
satile in domestic arts and particularly
skilful in replacing missing buttons
on garments. This appealed to his
business interests and increased his
fondness
Three months ago their marriage en-
gagement was announced, and a wed
ding date was set for next fall. Mr..
Haag received a sudden summons to
make a four months trip through the
country for his firm. He and his fance
were appalled, at the prospect of sepa-
ration and decided to be married at
once. They then left for tho west
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05

We were a half-hOur early for r,sy
engagement with Signor Petroskinski
when Bunch and l strolled into the
cafe of the Hotel Aston
Bunch" I said, when the waiter
had forced confession from us,
there's doings out home. Clara j.
tipped me off last night that / must
hand over my five thousand plunks
TO be properly invested by the mayor
of Ruraldene."
Uncle Peter!" chuckled Bunch.
Now / can't tip my hand to the
old gentleman and have him lecture
me all over the place, can l, Bunch?"
Not unless you want your wife to
know that you sprained your prom
ise."
Then it's up to me to press the
button and start my get-rich-quick
concern" I said. Il simply can't 90
home and hand them sad drool about
being coaxed into the street and be-
ing trimmed for my coin-nix! The
only thing to do is to go out and get It
back. and get It quick, Ell, Bunch?"
you bet, john" Bunch agreed.
81 spent last evening with Alice and
felt like phoDy money all the time.
She's going right ahead with the we'd
ding preparations and simply hadn't
the nerve to tell her that lost nearly
every penny had. Uncle William
Grey tiptoed into the parlor for a few
moments and began to congratulate
me on the good reports he had had
from Alice with regard to my ability
to save bit Of money / could feel
myself shriveling w. as he talked and
the parlor bega- to turn around and
start for the Saratoga track"
Il know the feeling" Said earnest
ly. There was a time, Bunch, that
whenever my wife mentioned the
word money to me I could see horse
come into the room and shake his
name at me-"
"And then" Bunch continued.
Uncle William said to me, 'Jeffer-
son, my son, Alice tells me you've al
ready saved up five thousand. and I'm
proud of you / didn't like you at
first, because thought you were ha.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05
AS ToMMIE UNDERSTOOD II
Figure Out for Yourself Just What
Had Been Done With That
Dog Ordinance

One year, in a certain town IN
Maine, a tax was levied on dogs for
the first time. II caused quite an ex-
citement among the dog owners, as
many OF them had dogs good for moth
ing except for pets.
SO the next year an article was in
serted in the town warrant TO repeal
The dog law. All interested attended
the meeting.
When Mr. W. came home bis chill
dren, who had a pet deg, met him,
eager to hear the result. Mr.. w. said:
We'll, boys! they have repealed
the dog law"
Little Tommie, four years old,
catching the words from his father
and entering into the spirit Of the &C.
casion, rushed into where his grand
pa sat reading and shouted: Grand
pa, they have peeled the law dag"
Have what?" asked grandpa.
They have peeled the dog"
What did they do with the peel
ing?" asked grandpa.
Don't know. I'll ask papa" and he
legged it for the door
Papa, what did they do with the
dog-peels?"
Buried them" said papa, laughing.
Tommie rushed back
They put UNI on berries, grandpa!"
What did they do with the Der
ries?" asked grandpa.
EFT UNI, l s'pose!" said Tommie,
thoughtfully.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05

and actresses who haven't a chance
on earth to get back"
I'D hate to have ~ make my liV-
ing by trying to drag the bread and
butter away from other people,
Bunch butted in.
Eyes, and the nickel-plated nerve
that goes with it," went on. Every
time this Stale guy goes to a theater
he makes 1t appear that he was
forced into a den Of thieves and ev-
erybody he can point out with his
fountain pen is either a criminal or a
dirty deuce. What has he ever done
that finished one, two, nine?"
Hes been four1ushing around for
years about the pitiful condition Of
the 'drammer,' but did he ever write
a play that saw the light Of day? Nix.
IN bet eight dollars if he ever
does get a play produced thereIl be
nobody left in the theater but the
ushers and the spot light after the
first act"
Lots of people think he is very
clever" Bunch suggested.
so is a trained goat" | came back.
IF you stood a crowd of handcuffed
actors and authors and managers up
in a corner and made faces at them
and called them names and blew spit
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05
Gets Busy

I Broadway audience it1l be a case OF
is matching John D. Rockefeller to
zee who has the most money"
NO, we better not bring Skinski
into New York." Bunch advised
I'm afraid Of the critics"
What critics." l inquired. There
are only four people in New York city
who can write criticisms-the rest OF
the bunch are slush-dealers. and a
knock from any one of them is a
boost"
Il mean Mr.. Stale" Bunch put IN.
IF he we're to roast our Skinsh I.
might hurt our business"
1T would-among the Swedes and
Hungarians," ! cross-countered. I'm
wise to Mr. Stale, nee Cohenheimer,
the human harpoonl Say. Bunch!
he's a joke. / caught him the day he
first left the blacksmith shop. some
ten years ago, with a boathook in
each hand and a toasting fork between
his teeth. That duck isn't a critic,
he's only a Foofoo."
What the devil is a Foofoo?'
Bunch asked.
"A Foofoo is something that tried
to happen and then lost the address"
/ explained Did you ever pipe
Sales CHEEKY bits Of humor as exem-
plified in one of his burning criticisms?
Well. III put you wise, Punch:
81 went to the KoOkoo theater last
night, ! and myself VOLTA, tout blen!
have seen lots of shows before, |
have, but have never, solemnly de
clare. seen any show so utterly banal
as this. The libretto was written by
some obscure person who never reads
my criticisms for If he did he would
know that | abhor Dutch dialect
One reason | hate It so much is that
some people can write it so well that
they make more money than l do
writing English undefled--oh! the
shame of It! VOLTA! tout suite! But
to return to our muttons, as we say in
Paris whenever 90 there. Tottie
Coughdrop played the principal part,
but a merciful Providence gave me a
cold in the head so / couldn't hear
what she said! VOLTA! tout frontage
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05
SURE CURE FOR WEAK LUNGS
London Specialist Declares Playing
MournfUl Instrument viii Assist
Materially as Remedy.

London.-The London physician Is
usually a grave, sedate person, for
whom one has great respect-but low
some of them have declared that the
flute is medical as well as a musical
instrument
One of these physicians, who is said
to be lung specialist, announces that
where there is a weak spot in the
lungs fute-playing ought to be bene
fetal, as the inspirations necessary for
playing the mournful instrument make
numerous little lung cells work which
otherwise would be unemployed.
This specialist. however, has consid.
Grafton enough to say that he would
not recommend playing the flute in
doors, but if man has the courage to
sit in the parks and play 1t will help
him. The flute, he contends, should
not prove Objectionable to the neigh
bors If man plays it in his back
garden.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05
Advertising Cuba.
memory

One of the valuable things the
Cubans have Learned from the Amer
leans is the art of advertising. and as
is sometimes the case the likely pupil
goes his tutor one better Not only
will the Cuban government be official
IL and ALPHABETICALLY represented at
the coronation OF King George in Lon
don. but the special ENJOYS from
Havana will have a double mission to
fill They are going to act as official
advertising agents for their country.
They will carry with them 10 England
5000 Of tho finest cigars that can be
manufactured anywhere in the world,
TO be presented TO King George with
the com pliments of the Cuban people.
As a Havana newspaper says, the
cigars are being taken to remind the
British ruler o. the fact that Cubs
puts out the best cigars"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05

balls in their eyes you could get a
laugh from the low foreheads.
couldn't you, Bunch?"
"Surest thing you know, John"
well, that's Grouchy Stale's line
of endeavor. Say, Bunch, if it we're
not for the knocks cont; ined therein
one of that guys essays would read
like the II alden effort of a loyesick
jellyhsh,
did you ever pipe the pure and
lofty and highly ennobling senti-
ments. the spiritually beautiful inspi-
ration which characterizes that book
of his-that deft little dip into de-
generacy-someth about a frozen
wedding! Oh, slush! Percy, pass the
cigarettesn
THAT windy stuff Stale hands out
is supposed to be criticism, Bunch.
but 1t isn't-it's typewriter egotism."
yes, but it's useless for you to go
after him. John; he'll only hand you
another javelin."
well, the next time that dub
throws the gaff into me I'll know he
has a reason for It, Hereafter, every
time he bats an eye in my direction
It's me for a swift get-back, I'll tell
you those!'
You should bear the Ills Of the
flesh with Christian fortitudc."
GRIM I'd Bunch.
NIX" ! said. I'm tired holding
up something fat for a mutt like that
to paddle with a slapstick!"
Copyright by @. w. Dillingham; Coz
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05
Missouri Promoter Insists Reptiles Are
Better Than Cats-ReptiIes Harm
less and inoffenslVe.

Kansas City, Mo.-Will Kansas City
families take kindly to pine snakes
and yellow bull snakes, norpoisonous,
az pets?
BY WY of testing out the willing
ness of Kansas City people to substi-
tute the domesticated snake for cats
in the determination of rats and mice,
]. s. Edwards Of the Edwards animal
show has placed an order for 300 bull
snakes with q reptile firm in San An
tonic, Tex.
AS soon as the snakes arrive they
will be distributed free of charge to
those applying for the strange pets,
who will agree to report the result Of
the snake-instead-of-a-c substitution
in their homes.
The yellow bull is the largest snake
native to the United States, sometimes
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05
Woman ShrIeks, Porter Flees and
Passers-by Hunt Rodent in Vain
1t Finally Escapes.

Chicago.-A big gray rat raised all
street early the other day. 1t scared
a woman pedestrian, made a colored
porter turn white" with fear and
caused half a dozen pedestrians who
kicked at it to bark their shins. Then
II escaped.
morning pedestrian--the woman-was
passing a building between West
Dearborn and South Clark streets,
when the rat jumped from behind a
sidewalk signboard. The woman gave
one shrtek-a shrill and a loud one
and ran to the middle of the street
A colored porter at work cleaning the
sidewalk heard the woman's cries, but
did not know what was the cause of
them. He and several pedestrians
rushed to where the woman stood.
Under there! Under there!" the
woman shouted. as she pointed to the
signboard, under which the rat had
ran again.
The porter advanced bravely and
thrust MS long handled brush under
the sign. The rat gave bound and
jumped directly at the porter.
Wow he yelled, and took to his
heels.
The rat ran east few yards. with
at least six fun grown men in hot pur.
suit One, who had dashed ahead of
the animal. stood prepared TO deliver
a death dealing kick. He made a
mighty swing, but missed the rat and
his shin struck heavily against an
iron hitching post. The man yelled
In pain and the crowd in laughter.
Others tried hard TO kick the rat,
but none succeeded. although the toes
of half dozen boots were scuffed
where they had come In contact with
the curbing. Then a citizen with q
cane came along and prepared % take
q mighty swipe He apparently had
the creature cornered in the entrance
Ct one Of the West Madison street
nickel theaters, His club was uplifted
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05
EH Rt'H Moons ao0HOntaH5E}}a719
INFERIOR TO WOMEN

ability to handle money with discre-
ton"
Rev. Mrs. H. NJ. Mulleneaux Of Ra-
venswood. demonstrated mans In
feriority to women by instances of
poor men marrying wealthy women.
rs it not fact" she asked, that
when a man nlarries al heiress, as
soon as he has gained control of her
fortune he will run through it as soon
as possible and leave her practically
penniless
Equip women with business edu.
cation and there Is no question but
that in the long run she will outstrip
man In the conservative handling Of
finances"
Mrs. Jean Butler Wallace asserted
that with small capital a woman can
do more than man, and that many
successful women of today have start
ed with practically nothing and have
built up fortunes.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05

de Briel To my mind Tottie looked
like one of yesterdays ham sand
witches. and a gent sitting near me
said she was all to the mustard, so
you see great minds run in the same
channel-oh! la, la, la! But to return
to our muttons. The show is said to
have cost $4,000, but what care L?
VOLTA! tout coalscuttle! I'd roast It
If it cost $4,000. otherwise how
could make good? VOLTA! tout
blatherskite! But to return to our
muttons. l went out after the first
act and never did go back-great joke
on the show. wasn't It? OH In. In. La
Still I insist that Tottie Coughdrop
looked like "A ham sandwich. VOLTA!
tout fudgel"
so that's the kind of piffie that
managers and actors have to go up
against laughed Bunch.
They don't so up against 1t any
more. Bunch I said They are
shifty young guys in the theatrical
business nowadays, and they sidestep
the hammer.throwers Mr.. Stale is a
back number and his harpoon can't
stop a dollar bill from fiuttering into
any mans box office"
He thinks he can, all right" Bunch
muttered
We'll. there are two thinks and a
half still due him." said who ever
gave that guy license to splash ink
all over a production and hold actors,
weighs PCS pounds and she was i'm
mense.
authors and managers up to ridl-
cule?"
Il thought Stale used to write
books Bunch put in.
He thought so. too, but the pub
lie passed him the ice pitcher" !
| said. He started in TO be success.
! full author and then he bit his tongue
He'll get after you good and hard
II he hears YOU talking this way
Bunch admonished.
Say! Bunch, he's been after me
for five years and he hasn't caught
up with me yet. Every time he's had
a chance he's tossed few sneers iu
| my direction. so ! made up my mind
the other day I'd coax him down to
the foundry and throw the anvil al
him. If ever do cut loose on that
Birmingham gent he'll think he has
swallowed one of his own harpoons
He's a case Of Perpetual Crouch be
cause It gets the dough for him or
payday.
If somebody ever steals his ham
mer he'll be doing hofoots for the
handout thing and hen eat about
once q week.
Its brave and glorious spectacle
isn't 1t, Bunch. to watch this nlouldy
J writer throwing his hooks into actor:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-05
BABIES PUT IN NEvI DANGER
New York Charitable Societies Fight
Practice of Dressing Them In
Tight SwaddIins Clothes.

New York.-In an attempt to end
the practice Of binding very young
children in tight swaddling clothes,
prevalent among women in the foreign
settlements here, one of the prominent
New York charitable organizations has
placed nurses in various parts of the
east side to start campaign of educa-
ton among the mothers.
The swaddling clothes, sort of long
bandage, is wrapped tightly about a
child's lower limbs and is often al.
lowed to remain for six months at a
time. The mothers believe the treat
ment prevents the child from growing
bow legged" and have opposed at.
tempts to check the practice.
Investigations have convinced the
association that instead of preventing
malformation of the limbs, the swad.
ding clothes increase it.