Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-19
SENSE OF HUMoR AFTER ALL.
Newspaper Man Too Shrewd For
Clever Mariner.

Newspaper Man Too Shrewd For
Clever Mariner.
"Well, I suppose you are looking
for yarns" said the captain Of one Of
the schooners in port to reporter as
the latter made his way aft without
the skipper showed at him. The day
was not particularly hot on shore, but
on the deck Of the schooner the sun
seemed to find a rejecting mirror, for
the rays beat upward numerically.
And so the skipper stretched a small
piece of canvas out from his cabin in
the form of an awning and 1t was into
the meager but none the less welcome
shade of this that the two chairs were
squeezed.
OF course the reporter replied affir-
matively to the skipper's question as
to whether he wanted yarns and, with
fingers instinctively reaching for note
book and pencil, he saw in his minds
eye lurid tales of smuggling expedi-
tions or fights with the south sea ma
tives or something Of the same ordi-
nary sort. But he was wrong in his
anticipation.
"I supposed you were looking for
yarns" went on the skipper, "but
the rather hesitating way you hung
around the dock before you came
aboard, knew you were out for
blood and could see you were trying
to size my ship up and decide whether
or not her old fool of a skipper would
have anything exciting for you.
well, I'm afraid I'm going to dis
appoint you, because I never was a
hand at drawing the long bow and
making the blood curdle with exciting
sea stories. And then, too, I'll tell
you a secret, whether you believe it or
not. In the thirty odd years that I've
been on the water I've never had
any of the adventures which appear to
be so common with seamen.
But If can't give you a real sea
yarn, 1 believe can tell you some
thing that will tickle you. It's two or
three practical jokes rolled into one
story. 1t happened just about year
ago, when was lying at one Of the
old Brooklyn docks discharging.
There was a water front reporter up
there who got about as popular with
the coastwise trade as a bungling
newspaper writer could ever get. He
did nothing but hang around those old
docks all day looking for something
freakish. And one day he came aboard
my ship and begged me to tell him
some yarn, no matter what 1t was, as
he was hard up for stuff.
II would not have minded telling
him a story, but / didn't know OF any
Of the sort I knew he wanted and /
had an idea Of how / could help him
out. 1 told him to go just across the
slip to the Z. G. Shirley. Old man
Cooper, the skipper Of the Shirley,
had more cock-and-bull stories rum
ming loose in his system than anybody
else I knew and / was sure he would
be able to tell the young fellow any
number of good yarns. But did not
count on Cooper's sense Of humor.
81 wasn't especially busy and II
went over to the Shirley with the
newspaper chap and we sat down
with Cooper. The reporter asked him
If he didn't know some yarn that was
out of the ordinary, and Cooper
thought a while and then said he did.
And then he started.
well, I've heard some impossible
stories in my time, but I never heard
such stuff as Cooper pumped into that
chap. I sat through 1t all and kept
my mouth shut. The reporter seemed
to take all the stories in good faith,
but now and then, from a twinkle in
his eye, I knew there was something
behind it. And Cooper just kept 1t up,
telling stories Of how he had done
such and such and swearing oaths
that no man ever swore outside of a
dime novel and the reporter just sat
there taking 1t all in.
when the newspaper man left
Cooper burst out laughing. He
thought he had made a fool Of the
fellow and said that If any of those
yarns ever came out in the paper the
reporter would be the laughing stock
of the whole water front. I told him
that the reporter would have too much
sense to write any Of that stuff and
that his editor wouldn't print 1t II he
did write 1t. But l suppose we both
thought Cooper was the only one who
had a sense Of humor and we didn't
reckon on what really happened.
THE next day, having some time ON
hands, I went over to visit Cooper. l
had scarcely reached him when he
waved a paper at me in the most ex-
cited way and seemed to be so angry
he could hardly talk. 1t was a copy
of one of the big newspapers which
pays lot Of attention to marine news
and is read by a great many seafar-
ing people. To indicate the cause OF
his excitement and anger Cooper jab-
bed his finger at a piece which was
spread half way down two columns.
In big letters 1t read Romance in the
Life of a Schooner Captain I took
the paper and read the piece to the
end and when 1 got through I didn't
wonder that the thing had made
Cooper mad. Still I almost split my
sides laughing at the way the tables
had been turned on him.
THE reporter had a sense of hu-
NOR of his own, it seemed. He went
and wrote out every one Of those
yarns Cooper had told him, and, what
was the main thing, he gave every
word Of them in Cooper's name. His
own name, not any fictitious one. And
there Cooper was in the story, telling
how he had dashed a sailor very near
ly dead for answering him back and
how he swore everything from 'Shiver
my timbers' to Dead mems fingers,
and other things that I'm pretty GER
tain no man that ever shipped before
the mast has ever said or heard of.
And Cooper was the hero all the way
through, John Cooper, captain of the
schooner c. G. Shirley, him and no
other.
Cooper was pretty sore at first, but
he came to see the joke of the thing
and l told him no man was a good
joker who couldn't take a joke on
himself. But the next time he saw
that reporter he didn't try to string
him with any ghost stories. And ever
since then COODer is known IN some