The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1911-09-16
A Memorable Trip to the East.

LhSt we heBtfoHeu tHdt tAO
news Of j. A. Williams arrival had
reached the ears of President
Taft, aud that the President be-
came pacifed upon learning that
his friend had the Major under
control. But Bill soon found out
that his friend had no intention of
Stacking his rampant bombastic
aud hilarious colleague, but, de-
string to see little of the lively
time in the Capital City allowed
t le Major to go the limit. Taft
was quite disappointed and not a
little hurt that his friend should
play upon him such an Irish trick.
He hoped out of bed in a very
bad humor, scowIed at everything
and everybody about the house, and
refused to taste of the delicious
breakfast that Mrs. Taft had pre-
pared for him with her own little
hands. According to his daily
custom, the President picked up
the Washington Post but when he
read the glaring headlines, he be-
came SO Infatuated that be fell
from his chair, rolled down the
steps of the White House, across
spacious lawns, Ger moor and
fen. Ger crag and torrent" until he
found himself kicking his massive
heels in the middle of the Poto-
mae river. Several of the White
House attaches. who had watched
in horror the Presidents mode of
expression, followed him to the
river, and after a great deal of diff
fculty managed to fish him out.
The attending physicians admin
stored all of rbe restoratlves that
be could stand aud soon he was in
fair shape to endure the terrific
ordeal of the day. Several times
during the hour the President was
heard to say, in accents that re-
minded one of the lamentations of
Jeremiah: Williams has come to
town. Alas! My Countryl l see
Inv fate"
Williams was now in a better
hnmor, not because be had given
expression to bis wrath by upset
ting the coon policeman, but be-
cause a porter with baboon face
had jsst come into his presence
bringing with him several glitter
ing samples of the bravery juice,
especially imported from the re-
gions of the Rhine. When Will
llams beheld this glorious treat,
his eyes spanked and an express
ion of angelic innocence spread it.
self all over his face. As every
body knows, whenever Williams
smiles, his face begins to crack,
aud on this especial occasion he
smiled with such emphasis that
his friends became alarmed that a
fatal facial designation would
follow.
After being restored to his
equilibrium, Williams began to
prepare for his tour of inspection
of the Capital City. He arrayed
himself i'll a manner that not only
startled the people OF Washington
but gave suggestions to the mod
istes of Paris, whose Office it is to
dictate the fashions to the woman
of Europe and America. Will
llam's costume was simple but very
pretty, for he arrayed himself in
his most winning smile, Merry
Widow hat, a peek-a-boo shirt
waist pair of bombazine pants,
so provokingly short as to display
those inevitable green socks, to
say nothing of his graceful ankles
and those TRIBES of huge proper
tions. After donning all these
unique articles of raiment, he
sprinkled himself copioasly with
extract of vanilla, which shows
that Williams has admirable taste
when it comes to tho selection OF
perfume.
His first visit was to the Capt.
tol building. He gave the huge
and historic bronze doors an en-
phatic kick aud they opened with
as much mystery as the doors of
the cave in the story of the Ara
bian Knights, then he made hasty
and superficial inspection of the
building. He stood in the very
spot where John q. Adam was
stricken with apploxy aud admired
the beautiful aud wonderful works
OF arts with which the building
is decorated. When be had seen
all, he was gracious enough to
agree that the Capitol building is
is equal to anything he had ever
seen Notwithstanding the foct he