davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24
BUSINESS OR DOODLE?

According to the following, from the
Denver Post of the 17th, it would
seem that the government property at
the Fort Lewis Indian school has been
regarded as fair plunder for some
peighbor who has more the love of the
commhnIry," III MS souI ana fi1ar 'is
has not hesitated even momentarily to
make hay while the sun shone and the
Great Father, at Washington, slept:
According to reports received by
United States District Attorney Ward,
unless the state or government takes
immediate action every piece of port
able property at the Fort Lewis In
dian school will be taken away by
thieves. A letter to the government
prosecutor states that rancher liv-
ing about mile from the school has
been working in collusion with a for
mer assistant superintendent of the
school and that he has supplied his
place with all of life's necessities and
then some.'
1.-THE names of the former officer,
the rancher and others implicated,
have been furnished the government
officers and when it is determined
whether or not the state or the gov
ernment owes the duty to prosecute,
some action will be taken. The gov
ernment takes the position that the
school is now state property, having
been turned over when Governor Shat
roth accepted the proposition of the
secretary of the interior. The state
is not sure of its ground but will
probably do the investigating.
THE rancher was sold 300 tons of
coal at 80 cents a ton, ninety-two
chairs at 5 cents apiece and other
property in proportion. He was given
the contract to carry away the ashes
from the Indian school building and
when he got through is alleged in
the letter to the district attorney to
have made a second trip and carried
away the stoves as we'll.
"On another occasion the rancher is
said to have stripped the doors of
the guard house and used the iron
bors and locks for his blacksmith shop
on his farm. He is said to have car
ried huge portable sink to his farm
and then, fearing detection, sent it to
the ranch of one of his relatives close
by. The school, it is said, has been
greatly handicapped because of the
removal of half the furnishings"
Now the facts are, as nearly as we
can get them, chat Mr.. Speer, the off,
cial in charge at Fort Lewis, being
sore at the abandonment of the school,
and we suppose the loss of his Job,
sold to man, by the name of Haff-
ner, and who is resident of the vi
cinity, some 300 tons of coal at 80
cents per ton, few hundred chairs
at 5 cents each, lot of heating stoves
at 30 cents apiece and the Lord only
knows what else at about the same
ratio Of prices.
Now, we do not know that Spcer
did anything crooked in the selling or
that Haffner did anything crooked in
the buying but 1t does not require
anything like a forty horse power
to see the shadowy form
'f . gigantic colored gentlemen re-
posing in the woodpile Of such q trade
10 that.
Further developments will undoubt-
.dly follow and you can depend that
ne Herald win keep it. sys ON the
Iitsatiea. !
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

A Missouri man who is said to have
attained his 1929 birthday last week
claims that in all his life he never took
. drink Of liquor, smoked or chewed q
bit Of tobacco, hugged . woman or
cusssd . cuss word. About the only
comment We care to make IL that he
probably tells many other lies ~ well
~ these named. What in the world
would . man want to live 70 b. 102
yam Old for II be could havs NO more
fsn thaa tAis man Aas had, Il bis
eln1ns aEs tEue1
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

the train. Then they die. So the
powers that be have found It best to
keep them without anything to eat
for about twelve hours before they
start on journey. The government
has q rule not 10 feed their fish for
twenty-four hours before trip.
Wouldn't you hate to be a fish be-
longing to the United States?
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

If we were suffragette we'd take
up the cause of the lady dog. AS the
laws are a lady dog is taxed about
FIVE times as much as a gentleman
dog and this is wrong. A lady dog
has just as much right to liye as a
gentleman dog and her life is just as
dear, we suppose. Down with this
unjust legislation against the sex.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

God has made it so that almost
any man can get along in the world
by attending strictly to his own bust
ness but the devil has things fixed Sc
that the average person would rather
attend to other peoples business and
let their own take its chances.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

The United States Indian agents
of the country have been instructed
to impress the fact on the minds of
their noble charges that it is wrong
for a brave to have more than one
squaw. Why not teach them a little
table like this:
One woman makes one squaw.
Two squaws make one squawk.
Three squaws make one squawl.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Helen Ware. a shapely chorus girl
Of New York, is quite pronounced in
a statement Of dislike toward the har-
en- skirt. We have an idea that Helen
is against most any kind of a skirt
on the grounds that q skirt hides all
Of her talent.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Young man, If you are contemplat-
ing marriage make it . point to get
. good housekeeper and = good cook
Il she IL pretty I: won't hurt but don't
let the pretty part Of the affair blind
you to the vital points. You can hire
all the pretty girls you want, for pref
ty girls are drug in the market, but
good cooks are the gift Of the gods.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

The stories Of the war and the
fighting down at Aqua Prieta may be-
come . little more interesting If you
will just stop to consider that the
battle ground Is quite a bit nearer
Durango, in an air line, than Denver
by rail.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

The press dispatches are often very
unimportant and of small interest but
when they ginger up and convey such
desirable information as the naming
o. the particular sort of pie preferred
by noted eastern college professor
then it is that we feel like apologize
ing for the unkind things we have
heretofore mumbled about the service.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Champ Clark Gays that politicians
need more common sense and we hold
up our hand 10 request from the
teacher permission to mention the fact
that there's a lot Of people who are
not politicians who are in the same
boat.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

aGrest oaks from little acorns
grow" and small scandal will cause
a woman's sewing society to take on
renewed vigor and grow to beat any
old oak tree that ever bloomed.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

DR.. Hyde has no sooner been grant
ed new trial than the papers are
again relating the story Of his alleged
crime. A sort Of 'let the tale 60
with the Hyde" proposition.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Our idea is that the insurrectos will
never lay down their arms so long as
it is carefully impressed on their
minds that with the close Of the war
they will have to go to work. Our
acquaintance with the Mexicans is
limited but from what we know of
them we believe that any of them
would rather fight than work and we
are a good deal that way ourself.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

The Post Is now offering grand
prize to the woman possessing the
prettiest arm. We are thinking of
instituting contest for heiresses only
and giving q prize to the one dis
playing the most beautiful legacy.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

After talking with Capt. Dudley and
Judge Parkinson, and taking our own
case into consideration, we have come
to the conclusion that there is abso-
lutely no foundation for the old saying
that the good die young.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

When girl falls in love with a
young fellow she worries a great deal
about his health and his clothes and
his food but the question as to wheth-
er or not he will be able to provide
her, and the naturally to be expected
children, a living never enters her
head.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Great excitement prevailed at The
Herald office this morning when it
was found that the Perin's Peak Daily
Epitome had copied one of our small
editorials and a seven column write
up will follow just as soon as we get
time to write it. 1t pays to advertise.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

There is one consolation we mel
have and that is that the woman VIII,
is always bowling around that n,
man shall ever own her is usual,
exactly the kind Of a woman that n,
man on earth has even the slightes
desire to own.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Some of the Mexican war scare
stories have no better foundation than
the old story Of the horrible scandal
which was started by the appearance
Of an extremely slender middle-aged
spinster who had swallowed an olive
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

We 60 on the theory that women
should be allowed to vote and vote
jsut as they doggone please. If they
want to trade their vote for bonbons
while we trade ours for booze we shall
not kick on their deal
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Dig up a little square Of ground,
plant some roses and some phlox,
twill make a pleasant playground for
your neighbor's Plymouth Rocks.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

1t is not what you want and wish
for that makes you fat, it's what you
get. One ounce of backbone Ia worth
more in this dreary vale Of tears than
seventeen pounds Of wishbone.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

There are SO many other ways Of
wasting money that we really hate to
be asked to donate money to be used
for the purpose Of buying hymn books
for the heathen.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Mary had little flea
That nestled in her collar,
And everywhere that Mary went
The gol darn flea would foller.-Ex
She also had wiser flea
That nestled in her stocking,
And every time that Mary's scratch
What people saw was shocking.
Eek.
Yet what made Mary's clothes SC
warm
We're the fleas that nestled there
Because they changed her muslin shirt
To fleas-lined underwear.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Every mans hat covers some fool
notions. It's tho knack Of keeping
these notions in the background that
distinguishes the wise man from the
fool and the crank.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Women are all like peaches. Young
girls are green peaches, at womanhood
they become ripe and at middle age
they become dried peaches.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Did you ever think that the average
man is a queer duck. He is proud
of the very things he should be
ashamed of and ashamed of the things
iu his nature Of which he should be
proud.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

We would suggest that, at the open
ing Of the big poultry show in Dem
yer this week, the beautiful old hymn
containing the words Revive US egg
hen" be sung.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Thsrs's sueh thing ~ bsing too
esnseisutdeus about things and ~
think that IL Boujdsr sheriff. Who
sfSsrsl te IT ths naeb hang lin. \
sn1ee y ~ 1T = 6aeo nr1sr-
@A w1s - - thess ~ ~ -
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

There being no other nasty stories
for the papers to take up just at this
time the Cudahy-Lillis episode is
again occupying front page position
in some Of the big dailies.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

There IL this about politics, there
are lot Of men who think they are
in it who have not got within sight
Of It yet.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

do with all our might that winch we
find to do but it strikes US that the
Kentucky woman who last week gave
birth to fifteen babies at one per-
formance must have taken the advice
too literally.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

II pessimists would never pess un-
I'll they had something TO pess about
there wouldn't be nearly 70 much
pessiug done. Too many people are
always erossins ths bridge which II .
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Unpleasant tasks are like having
teeth pulled, it takes more nerve to
get started in ON the job than 1t does
to complete it.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Do you know that the world Is quite
like mirror7 1t is good natured to
good natured people and grouchy to
grouchers. Like bank it pays back
just what you put into 1t.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

One thing that a man learns, as he
grows old, is that it is entirely un-
necessary to tell all about it when
ever he happens to disagree with an
other man on some important detail.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

The Kansas game law u now said
to Be 10 strict that y man may only
shoot . rabbit out Of season when he
finds 1t attacking his horses or chas-
ing his cattle.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Once in a great while you find q
farmer who is so avaricious and
grasping in his nature that he keep.
scme sheep instead Of . pack of dogs.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Remember that it requires constant
practice to remain good and honest
just as it takes practice to become
perfect in other ways.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24
AQ q AN0
:liAoLE 04OS10

Gold. rs cents; 0olA and Silver. u;
Gold. Silver and CopDer. $1.so. Gold
and Silver refined anl bought. Write
for frss mailing sas1sI OGDEN ~
eAv Co, 1885 Cout Plsce, Dss~o
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

The present session Of the Colorado
Legislature ia, at any rate, = mighty
well balanced affair, being equally .
disappointment to both political par
ties.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

Old fashioned people used to say
that If it rained on Easter it would
rain on each Of the following seven
Sundays.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

We dearly love music but we are
not cultured to The point where . solo
performance on bass drum gives Us
joyful thrills.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

We claim to be different In this
respect also, we are willing to admit
that even the conductor knows more
about railroading than we do.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

There are lot of people who seem
to think that the final and convincing
argument is to offer to bet $40 on the
proposition.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

A gasoline engine Is practical
demonstration Of the falsity of the
old theory that barking dog never
bites.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

There is not much Of complete fail
ure, or entire success, in the world,
most Of it is of the drag-along class.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

II the Pennington fruit crop is At
all like the Kansas wheat crop the
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

II we were forced to give an illts-
tration Of Last Chance" we'd use
a picture of barber shaving . corpse.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-04-24

When it comes to beginning at home
poverty is a regular Johnny-on-the-
Spot
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-02-17
SPORT.

In ninety minutes wrestling, Hack
enschmidt failed to ,throw Stanislaus
Zbyszko, in New York, and the match
went to the latter.
Outfielder Frank Schultz of the Chi
cago National league baseball club.
champion home-run batsman for 1910,
has signed three-year contract with
Chicago.
The Tommy Burns bill" to permit
ten-round prize fights in the state o.
Washington has been introduced in
the House by Representative Wray, of
Seattle, and referred to a friendly
committee.
Frank Work, the veteran sportsman.
who for nearly seventy years has been
known throughout the country as an
owner and campaigner of fast horses.
celebrated his ninety-second birthday
at his home in New York.
The Denver Athletic Club boxing
and wrestling tournament closed in a
whirlwind of classy work. 1t ended
the most successful tournament ever
conducted by the club. Winners were
PICKED as a result OF the finals and
the prizes distributed.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-02-17
. Big Irrigation Company.

Pueblo.-An irrigation project which
will cost 100000 to s5.ooo.ooo will be
started within ninety days on land ad-
joining Pueblo on the north and east
'rhe new company will be known as
the Pueblo. Fountain. Chino & Squir-
rel Greek irrigation Company. Art-
cles OF Incorporation have been filed
The company will secure water from
the Chino and Squirrel creeks and
three reservoirs viii contain more
than 100000 acre-feet when filled.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-02-17
FOREIGN.

Baron Albert s. Rothschild, head OF
the Austrian branch of the Rothschild
house, is dead at Vienna. He was
horn in 1874.
Mexican forces under Gen. Luque
have sustained another defeat in the
attack on insurrectos whom they have
been fighting in the vicinity of Mulato.
They were repulsed after battle last
ing five hours.
Unless Russia finds some way to
check the increase in cholera ravages.
the disease threatens to become
more calamitious than all the other
national perils combined. Figures
compiled by the health authorities
show the following number of deaths
from the disease in the past four
years: 1907. 6.42S; 1908, 15,543; 1909.
l0.605; 1910. 1O1,0O2
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-02-17
WASHINGTON.

Col Enoch II. Crowder will become
Judge advocate general of the army.
with the rank of brigadier general
Claiming that Russia has violated
the treaty OF 1892 with the United
States by denying Jewish citizens OF
this country the privilege extended to
other American travellers Representa-
tive Parsons of New York introduced
a resolution in the House calling upon
President Taft to declare the treaty
void.
Carrying forward his campaign for
Canadian reciprocity, President Taft.
at Columbus, Ohio, made direct ap-
peal to the American farmer on tha.
issue. He declared that the impress
sion that reciprocity with the Domin-
ion would injure the farmer was with
out foundation and by statistics he
sought to lend actual proof to his as
sertions.
The Mccall bill carrying into effect
the Canadian reciprocity agreement
reached the floor of the House and
probably will be passed before ad-
journment Immediately. When the
voting began 1t became apparent that
the lines we're being tightly drawn be-
tween those favoring and those oppos-
ing the trade agreement. AS finally
corrected, the vote to take up the bill
vas 1877 to 100. The bill will be
passed. 1t is said, by even a large ma
:ority.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-02-17
cornerstone 10 Laid.

Denver.-The cornerstone OF tho
magnificent Denver postoffice was
laid at the corner of Eighteenth anc
Stout streets. The new structure
which. Il is said. will without excep.
ton be the handsomest public build
ing in the world. occupies the entire
block bounded by Stout. Champa.
Eighteenth and Nineteenth streets.
The contractors say that the building
Will be completed in schedule time. or
''y December !. 1911. The corner
stone was laid by the Grand Masonic
lodge OF Colorado under the auspices
CT the Denver Chamber OF Commerce.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-02-17
Race for American Supremacy.

Greleey.-A race for American su.
rremacy in tunnel driving through
granite is being run by Contractor
James McIlwee OF the Laramie -Poudre
tunnel. against the work of engineers
in driving the aqueduct of the Los
Angeles water company through the
Sierra Nevada mountains. The Colo
rado men are in the lead. having
made 500 feet Of tunnel last month.
against 604 feet made by the Los
Angeles workmen. It is expected that
during March the Laramie-Poudre tun-
mel will be driven at least 720 feet.
which will be worlds record Sew
eral hundred men are at work on the
east portal and as soon as snow melts
work will be resumed on the west
portal.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-02-17
To Water More Land.

Montrose.-C. T. Pease. project en-
Eineer OF the Gunnison tunnel. an
nounces that work is TO begin inn
mediately upon the new canal. which
will be taken from the south canal
End conveyed along the side of the
uncompahgre valley as far as Delta.
to water a large amount of land above
the present irrigation system. This is
made possible by the recent appropri-
alton of si.5oo.oo0 for the Gunnison
project.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-02-17
GEN e RAJ.

Right Rev. OH w. Whitaker. bishop
Of the Protestant Episcopal diocese OF
Pennsylvania. died in Philadelphia.
Charles ii. Markham OF Chicago.
president of the Illinois Central, was
elected president of the Central OF
Georgia
Mr.. and Mrs. Hyman Berkowitz and
their five children we're killed by H.
Eliminating gas in their home in the
Ghetto in Philadelphia.
The condition of Miss Clara Bar
ton. founder of the Red Cross, who
has been Ill with bronchitis at her
rome in Glen Echo. Md. suburb OF
Washington. is greatly improved.
The United States Steel Corpora
tion announced In New York that the
untitled steel Tonnage on the books Jan.
21 last amounted to 3.110.919:. against
2.G74.757 tons on the books OF the COM
pany Dec. 81.
Shortly after midnight Frank Cof-
fyn broke the worlds record for alti-
tude In a Wright biplane In Augusta.
Ga. He rose 500 feet The previous
ittoid was nttd W tht AaAD
Arch Hoxsey. with $50 feet
1t was given out at the states at
torney's office at Danville, Ill. that
the grand jury would return a large
number OF indictments. The investi.
CATION is only half finished and over
300 indictments have been drawn.
Philadelphia, Pa.-His Grace. Arch
bishop Patrick ]. Ryan, is dead. The
news of this great Catholic prelate's
death will cause grief throughout the
land for the Archbishop was greatly
beloved for his learning. his piety and
his never failing good humor.
Thomas ]. Ham. one OF the Oldest
newspaper men in Pennsylvania and
probably the last survivor Of the din
rer given to Charles Dickens In New
York in 1852, by newspaper editors
and publishers, died at Lakewood.
New Jersey, following a stroke OF par
alysis. He was seventy-five years old.
Milton ]. Durham, former comptrol-
ler of the treasury and former con-
sressman from the Eighth district OF
Kentucky. died in Lexington Of pneu-
monia. Judge Durham was eighty
seven years old. He was a leading
Odd Fellow. having once served as
grandsire Of the order in the United
States.
The high cost of living received a
setback when eggs in the Kansas City
market declined two cents a dozen
and hog prices went twenty cents a
hundred pounds lower Eggs were
fourteer to sixteen cents wholesale.
waicI IA sixteen cents lower than at
the beginning of the year. Hogs are
selling $1.25 lower than last year; cat
tie fifty cents to one dollar lower. and
sheep 81 lower.
Inefficiency, insubordination and
mismanagement have developed in the
railway mail service and Is likely to
result In an upheaval, perhaps In
reorganization of the entire service.
Postmaster General Hitchcock is thor.
oughly incensed and makes no conceal
ment of his Indignation. Recently he
has beer conducting a personal inves-
tigation. His inquiry is not concluded,
but the facts thus far developed In
dicate plainly that its results are like
ly to be drastic.