The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-03-24

Tor the benefit OF Uncle refers race
track betting proclivit1es, with Ikey
Schwartz as our understudy. After
completing our plans we walked
around to the Grand Central station
and I found a moment wherein to
make date for tomorrow's meeting.
Nothing was said about the real
estate business, which Peaches
thought was Ikey's line, on the way
home, but I could see that although
Peaches now had her semaphore set
for a clear track she still had few
cold doubts about friend Ikey.
OF course I couldn't tell her our
plan for Uncle Peters salvation with
out giving the old gentleman dead
away, and, besides, the secret might
leak out and my busy relative would
break of a few horse laughs at my
expense.
Uncle Peter blew into Ruraldene a
little earlier than usual that evening,
and with him was a stranger.
The old gentleman was in excel
lent spirits and introduced his friend
to US as Mr.. Barney Sullivan.
Hes a co-worker and deeply in
terested in the s. P. G. A." heard
cagey Peter whisper hoarsely to Aunt
Martha and Clara j., but I was wise
to the visitor.
Barney was none other than a little
Tad tout I'd often seen around the
tracks, but I couldn't imagine why
Uncle Peter had dragged him into
our home life.
OF course. the women folks saw
nothing strange in the fact that Uncle
Peter brought co-worker in a good
cause home with him, but it was me
for tho Sherlock Holmes thing, quick.
1t was all right enough for my es-
teemed relative to throw his money
to the sparrows, but why ask one OF
the sparrows home to dinner?
Barney was short and wide, with a
graceful figure, like turnip.
When he wasn't talking he was
laughing, and when Barney laughed
he opened his face on hinges at both
ears and kept it open for five minutes
If his head were few feet thicker
he'd make a good tunnel.
When Barney talked all you had to
do was turn on a green light to find
yourself In Ireland. His brogue was
thick enough to make an Englishman
yell for bobby.
And why wouldn't you live on
Fifth avenue in New York, Mr.. Sui
livan?" Uncle Peter was saying when
I joined them to smoke cigar, 'if
as you say, you expect to be very
rich man some day."
"Fift' avenoo is no place for tn
1rish," Barney replied. "A frind iy
mine tried it vance and bit his tongue
His name was Jawn O'Dowd, tn prize
fighter; perhaps you know Jawn?"
mo, don't think so," Uncle Peter
said, encouragingly.
"Jawn made so much money in the
fghtln' business that he blew himself
for a small palace on Fift' avenoo,'
Barney went on 1T were a foine
place near tn Ashtorbilts and TIL
Vandergoolds. Jawn have house
that's the divvle for shtyle, and he
have bunch of typewrittin' machines
fer to kape his voice in trainln' be
names Nv printin' letter vance in a
while in the newspapers"
Uncle Peter smiled and Barney con
tinued.
"They's lace curtains in tn windys
an in tn front hall they's a marble
bust iv woman be tn name iv Way
nus, but it looks more like a gurru!
be tn name Nv Marguerite Roscom
mon that wurruks in tn front row "
a burlesque throop. II tn throlley
card chop off her arms she'd be 8
ringer for that woman, Vaynus."
Uncle Peter looked around, some
what fearful the story might be lone
on Venus and short on wardrobe, but
Barney went right ahead
In Jawn's parlor they's pitchers
be Pat Rembrandt, Mike Angelo an
Tim Clancy. Clancy's tn best. rip
r1sintin' tn eighth round " a 20 be
chune O'Dowd an felly be tn name
Nv Muttonchops Mcclure. Ye can SEE
Jawn hanin' Mcclure long. low push
in tn short ribs be means iv his foot
Tn riferee's face Is turned tn othe]
way, an they's a bunch iv green
money as big as tn fist iv We Der
troodin' from his pocket. McGuirk il
his name. He's runn1n' a saloon nov
in Akron, Ohio. tn pitcher is a mas
terpiece, an Clancy played tn race.
on tn proceeds for six weeks before
tn tanbark ups an hits him a belt IL
tn neck"
Uncle Peter nodded his approval.
lawn O'Down is Twin bechune 6
Ashtorbilt an Vandergoold," Bar
ney continued. HE have a thrunk full
Nv pitcher books an novels locked VI
in tn cellar an be. have a nickle
plated growler an a man in livery tt
rush it at tn crook " his finger. Life
Is complate. Wan day wan iv tn
Ashtorbilts stops be tn front dool
where Jawn O'Dowd is settin' on tn
marble steps, eatin' a chicken sand
wich an enjyin' tn air in his shirt
sleeves.
Beg pardon says Ashtorbilt, blu,
I'm on me way to tn Govt Links an
I've misplaced me niblick. Will "
do me tn kindness to lend me tn
loan " yer niblick fer tn afternoon.
says he.
"'What t'helrs a niblick?' say,
Jawn to himself, battin' his eyes an
not DARN to show his ignorance fe1
fear " bein' oystercized socially b,
tn Ashtorbilts. Set down on til
shtep, Willie.' says he. an I'll q
look!' says he.