davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25

i've Just got home from Washington. +"
said Uncle Jared Green;
can't begin TO tell you all the splendid
things I've seen
But best Of all or worst Of all, dependin'
on the view,
Was this here incident which I'm about
to tell to you"
Then Uncle Jared bit a chew from or his
heavy plug
And spat reilectively and set his shoulders
In a shrug.
Il seen our statesmen hard at work;
set there In the loft
An felt as II they'd run me in IL I 80
much as coughed.
realized that history was maxim down
below,
That here our country's future was 70 ya,
Its veal or Woe
When up arose man who sneered until
he showed each tooth
An said the other fellow was a stranger
to the truth.
Up Jumped the other fellow, an his bow
was most polite:
lie said the honored brother was a fool.
An that means fight
out here where things is common. Rut
the honored brother smiled
An said the other gentleman would steal
gum from a child!
Ihen up arose another with his hair
draped in his eyes,
An he thrashed his arms an shouted:
'Sirs. both of the others lies!
Then two-three more got up an yelled:
the floor began to shake;
One man with yellow whiskers called an
other man a snake;
another shook his fist and cried: MY
honored friend is drunkp
me honored friend retorted with some
words about a skunk.
names ' were we're ff,xnsnrsgwhers they riz. an
That ought to mean plain murder when
they sizzle off the tongue.
We'll! What d'you think? The cheerman
raped his table for a while.
An then one member he got up an pulled
pleasant smile,
An when no more the other men in anger
rared an lunged
He said: L move that these remarks
shall hereby be expunged
They simmered down, an In a wink the
motion carried through
An that was all that happened; hope to
die If 1t amt true!
4 loafed around for quite a spell; I shjv
cred with alarm
An them contendin' statesmen rig an
walked out arm in arml
Ihey took each other out for lunch-or
drinks, as like as not
An not nose was bloodied not n man
was knitted or shotl
SO ] come home an here I'll stay. where
liar amt repealed,
An Where the man that says II has to be
most plenty heeled."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
IT'S FOOD
That Restores and Makes Health
Possible.

There are stomach specialists as
well as eye and ear and other special
lists
One of these told a young lady, OF
New Brunswick, N. j., to quit medi
cines and eat Grape-Nuts. She says:
For about IL months l suffered Sc.
verely with gastritis. / was unable
to retain much of anything on my
stomach, and consequently was com
PEELED to give up my occupation.
Il took quantities of medicine, and
had an idea l was dieting, but | con.
tinued to suffer, and soon lost Is
pounds In weight. / was depressed
In spirits and lost interest In every
thing generally. My mind was so af-
fected that 1t was impossible to be-
come interested In even the lightest
reading matter.
After suffering for months I de-
cided to go to stomach specialist.
He put me on Grape-Nuts and my
health began to improve Immediately.
1t was the keynote of new life.
II found that l had been eating too
much starchy food which l did not d.
gest, and that the cereals which l had
tried had been too. heavy. I soon
proved that 1t Is not the quantity Of
food that one eats, but the quality.
In a few weeks l was able to go
back to my old business of doing cler-
ical work. / have continued to eat
Grape-Nuts for both the morning and
evening meal l wake in the morning
with a clear mind and feel rested.
regained my lost weight in a short
time l am well and happy again and
owe 1t to Grape-Nuts." Name given
by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich.
Read "The Road to MELVILLE" In
pkgs. There's a Reason"
Ever read the above letter. A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full OF human
interest.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25

A Mixup in Motors
By MILTON PAXTON
Copyright 1911. BY Associated Ii,sr.r, P1s..

The insistent ringing OF the tele
phone bell brought Porterfield out OF
the chair where he had been loung
Ing, half asleep.
Well?" he demanded. taking down
the receiver.
The voice that came back was that
OF his friend. Jack Crookston, sherifr
OF the county. That you, Tom? This
Is Crookston. Now listen! The bank
at Bellevue has been robbed. The
Two burglars made a getaway in a
wpite touring car with top. wind
shield and four lights. We think they
went your way. Get out and stop
them
That was so like Crookston, whose
pursuit of evil-doers was single
minded and tireless. that Porterfield
could not help but grin. He answered
promptly:
10 you think I'm crazy? Here 1t
Is past IL o'clock of a January night.
Inc thermometer is down pretty
close to zero, and the snow is drifted
Two feet over the walk. And you
imagine I'm going out on the road
ana try to stop an automobile-load
OF bank robbers. Why, man, haven't
tne authority. even If had the in
clination.'
make you special deputy"
came back Crookston's quick, decisive
voice. Get out there, now: better
take a gun and a lantern to flag
them with. A couple of my men will
De along In half an hour. You don't
nave to try to capture the yeggs; lust
disable their car. Ring me up when
you do 1t. Good"
For heavens sake. hold on"
commanded Porterfield "You aren't
IN earnest, Jack. I'm not going out
there to face two desperate criminals,
WIN guns In every pocket. If they're
coming this way. call the sheriff at
Lebanon. He's paid for making
target of himself"
Wires to Lebanon are down"
snapped Crookston Storm has,
played havoc all around. OF course
IL you're afraid. there's nothing more
TO be said"
III go, confound you!" reared Por-
terneld. But If do stop them, how
am | going to hold them till your
deputies get here?"
mats up to you," replied the
sherir, and hung up the receiver.
Porterfield was alone In the house;
nis parents, brother and sister were
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
In His Line.

And SO you are JOURNALISM" asks
the girl with the trusting eyes.
why, in way, yes" replies the
young man with the double watch
guard.
And what part of the work do you
dor" 80
Il have charge Of the circulation !"
%, how lovely! Then you must
manage Heart to Heart column"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25

New Ways Of Serving Common Foods
AS there are over two hundred
ways of serving the common potato,
and most housekeepers' knowledge
consists of about five methods OF
cooking them, we need to add a few
new recipes to our repertoire.
Partisan Potatoes.-Wash, pare and
soak in cold water eight small pota-
toes, remove In half an hour and put
on to boil for Is minutes in boiling
sailed water. Drain and put into a
baking dish, basting three times while
baking with third of cup of butter.
Celery and Cream Cheese Salad
Mix one-half cup Of finely-chopped
celery with one cream cheese. Make
the mixture into small balls, arrange
on lettuce leaves and pour over a
French dressing. Sprinkle with pap
rika and garnish with radishes cut in
fancy shapes.
s1iced Apple.--Wipe, core and pare
six large apples and arrange in a ba-
king dish. Mix sugar, cinnamon and
dash of salt. and fill the cavities.
Add water and bake until the apples
are soft, basting often with the hot
strip In the pan. Remove from the
oven, cool slightly and pile meringue
on the top of each apple. Return to
the oven and bake eight minutes.
Chill and serve with sugar and cream.
To make the meringue: Beat the
whites of two eggs until stiff, add four
tablespoonful of sugar gradually,
beating, then flavor with half a tea
spoonful Of vanilla.
Apple Charlotte.-Put a cup and a
half of apple sauce In buttered ba-
king pan. Remove the crusts from
four slices of stale bread, butter gen.
erously, cut in triangles and arrange
as closely as possible on top of the
sauce. Sprinkle with third of cup
of sugar and bake in a moderate oven.
Serve with thin cream.
Dressed cucumbers.--Peel the Gu
cumbers and draw three-tined fork
the entire length all around, then cut
In slices and serve with French dress
Ing.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
When Pride look a Fall

lie had asked her father for her
nand and been duly accepted.
Naturally, he was inclined to be
Jubilant, the girl being pretty, and the
father reputed rich.
On, well" said the latter present.
iy, as he carefully inspected the clear
Havana the youth handed him, you
needn't be so unduly pulled up over
It, You're the sixteenth youngster
I've accepted for a son-in-law this
year, and expect two more tomor-
row."
"Wh-why, what does this mean ?"
stammered the youth.
1T means" replied the shocking
old poppy, amusement for the girl
and cigars for me- Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
Ne<k.-.h ~,es.~N-
Settling George.

mo, George" she said In her gray.
est tones, Il cannot become engaged
to you, and l am very sorry to see
you show this mad infatuation. Re-
member that | am much older than
you are, and believe me when / say
will always be an elder sister to
you"
You amt hardly any older than
me-" declared the disappointed youth.
Il am fifteen. while you are but
fourteen. And remember, George,
That to woman a year is q lifetime"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
Careless Husband.

What have you done?" exclaimed
Mrs. Cumrox as she fourished a let
ter at him.
Has that anything to do with the
correspondence tried to help you
WITH"
1t has. It's an indignant protest
told you to address that distin-
guished pianist as Herr Professor /"
And did So"
Yes. But you wrote 1t Hair Pro
fessor! Washington Star.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
So Embarrassino

You know Mr.. Ganderby is so near.
sighted?"
yes"
Well, the other evening he went
nome, and the beautiful Mrs. Giddley
was calling on his wife, and he went
into the room and kissed her nv mis-.
take"
Kissed Mrs. Giddley? There must
have been a scene"
No. He kissed his wife. But there
was a scene"
Il don't see why"
Well, he apologized to her, calling
her Mrs. Giddley.'"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
Explained His Peculiar Action

burglar went home one night re-
Gently, fumbled noiselessly at the
kesho.e and lat himself in without
making a sound. He was about to
creep softly upstairs. when his wife
appeared on the upper landing.
Mike" she saia, "wot makes ye
come In SO quiet?"
Blame it," beloved the burglar
Il thought | was in another house."
Brooklyn Life.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
Clutches or Rjers

Richard Croker, at dinner at New
York, expressed a distrust for aero
planes.
There's nothing underneath them, y
he said. IF the least thing goes
wrong, down they drop.
Il said to a Londoner the other day:
How is your son getting on since
he bought flying machine?
On crutches, like the rest of
them the Londoner replied"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
His Annual.

Gushing LADY, hear you've been
away for your health, professor"
Musical Lion.-"Yes. I've been to
Marienbad taking the baths"
Gushing Really! That must
have been change for youl"--Lon-
don Opinion.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
Human Emotions.

why do you weep over the sor-
rows of people in whom you have no
interest when you go to the theatre?"
asked the man.
Il don't know" replied the woman.
why do you cheer wildly when a
man with who you are not acquainted
slides to second hington
Star.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
OF Course Not.

How can you let your Italian mas.
ter kiss you, Amalie?
well, Mamma, you can't expect
me to know enough Italian after only
six lessons to forbid m!"-Fliegende
Batter
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
A Well Protected Wedding.

Not long ago the daughter of the
chief of police of big eastern city
was married. The next day woman
who had expected an invitation to the
wedding and had been disappointed
remarked acidly:
Il understand 1t was one OF the best
policed affairs of the year."-The Pop
ular Magazine.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25

trouble in all its
Id r e adful forms !;
shooting pains ali
lover my body, sick
headache, spinal
weakness, dizziness,
Idepres 81 on, and
Everything that was
horrid. l tried many
doctors In different
parts of the United
States, but Lydia e.
|Pinkham's Vegeta-
bile Command has
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
scott's Rebecca In "Ivanhoe. !"

''SSSSS@ W 'Nd'uiOCs
The character of Rebecca, In Scott's
"1vanhoe" was taken from a beautiful
-Jewess, Miss Reoecca Gratz of Phila.
delphia. Her steadfastness to Juda.
Ism, when related by Washington r.
wing to Scott. won his admiration and
caused the creation of one Of his fin
est characters.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
Was There any Spare Time,

Husband-You never kiss me ex.
cept when you want money.
Wife-Well. isn't tnat often enough.
Smart Set
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
Chilly.

They say the pretty Boston girl is a
good pick. l wonder what kind of a
pick she is!'
ice pick, l suppose"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
Formally.

Old Lady-Can't something be
done?
Bystander-Oh, yes. They've sent
the crew line to come ashore.
Old Lady-Good gracious! Were
they actually waiting for a formal In
yitation in this weatner?-London
Opinion.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
Consider This Advice.

No woman should submit to surgi-
cal operation which may mean death,
until she bag given Lydia E. Pinkham's
vegetable Compound fair trial.
This famous medicine, made only
from roots and herbs, has for thirty
years proved to be the most valuable
tonic and invigorator of the female
organism. Women residing in almost
every city and town in the United
States bear willing testimony to the
wonderful virtue of Lydia E. Pink
mans Vegetable Compound.
Mrs. Pinkham, at Lynn, Mass,
invites all sick women to write
her for advice. Her advice is free,
confidential. and always helpful.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
The Only Piece.

Fond Friend.-"Was there much cut
glass among the wedding presents?"
Jealous Cat.-"Only her engage.
ment ring. Judge.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
But Il poesn,t Worrx Him

| - '" ~VSS'' WITT EFF0Vs
"A clockmaker must be the most
uneasy of manufacturers"
why sol"
because there is always the pros
poet Of strike in his works."-Bak
timore American.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25

zone more for me than all the doctors.
! feel 1t my duty to tell you these
tacts. My heart is full of gratitude to
you for my cure."-Mrs. HARRIET 70.
NAMPLER, 524 8. Ransom Street.
'Ottumwa. Iowa.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25

No man has come to true greatness
who has not felt in some degree that
his life belongs to his race.-Phillips
Brooks.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
A Luxury.

Father" said the son of the Kan.
sas farmer. why don't you get In line
with modern systems Of managing q
farm and buy wind pump"
Wind pump!" says the father.
Wind pump? Gosh all over! Who
wants to pump wind out here, when
1t blows in SO dummed fast its hard
for a body to keep his hair on!"
hIL<.>G 9ea~A>
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25

One might fight a lie and still not
follow the truth.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
|WeKTFGHEN
l2sEHABINET

IN CHEERFUL temper Joined
with innocence will make
beauty attractive, knowledge delightful
and wit good natured
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
SimpIe. Rather

He-You are the only woman | ever
loved
She-Do you expect me 10 believe
that?
Hell do. l swear 1t is true.
She-Then believe you. Any man
who would expect woman to believe
that cannot have been much In the
company of women.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25
OTTUMWA
WOMAN
CURED
By Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

Ottumwa, Iowa.-'For years was
almost constant sufferer from fnnnnIn
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25

HE chief pleasure in eating does
ss not consist in costly seasoning
or exquisite flavor. but in yourself. Do
you seek sauce by sweating?
Horace.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-02-25

The telephone was ringing as por.
terrified stepped into his own home
some time later 1t was the sheriff,
as rapid. precise and unruffied az
ever.
That you. Tom? Well, it's all on
We got the fellows who robbed the
Bellevue bank. Caught them up near
Chiffon, when their machine got
stuck in drift"
Caught them, did your" returned
Porterfield. Then he laughed hap.
PLY. Good! I'm caught, too.
Which crytic remark the sheriff un.
derstood later. on the receipt of Q wed.
ding invitation.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-02-13
RnBERTSDALE.

Mrs. b. F. Barnes OF Indiana pouie-
ward suffered relapse last Saturday
and had to be taken to St Margaret
hospital where she is said to be in
critical condition.
Mrs. William Slagel of Harrison av-
enue visited her mother, Mrs. MADDOX.
in South Chicago, yesterday.
Postmaster +. r. Schaaf left Satur-
day for trip east to Washington and
New York. He expects to be gone sew
eral days before returning home.
Herman Breckman Of Roberts ave-
nue. transacted business In Hammond
Friday evening
Mrs Roy Haight is confined to her
home in Roberts avenue with a severe
attack of the grip.
The Independent Pedro club was en-
tertained Friday afternoon at the home
of Mrs c. Klima, in Whiting. The
guests spent a very pleasant afternoon
in playing pedro and prizes were won
by Mesdanaes William Kelley, c. Hell
man and Charles Gothic. A dainty
luncheon was served at the close of the
games The next meeting will be held
at the home of Mrs Gamer Feb. 22
Mrs. Chas Gothic of Indiana boule-
ward spent the day in Chicago with
friends.
Misses Marie Seliger and Mamie Mills
saw THE Round Up at McVicker' s
theater in Chicago yesterday afternoon.
Miss Hattie Timm of Indiana boule-
ward was the guest of friends in Chi
cago Saturday.
Mesdames John Kidney and NJ Fuer-
hour were Chicago shoppers today.
Miss Wilma Balm of East Side visit
ed Miss Myrtle Soltwedel Of Harrison
avenue yesterday.
Miss Admiral spent the week end in
Chicago with her parents
The Marquette club will give a St
Valentines dance at HATS hall to-
morrow evening. Over $50 invitations
have been sent out and a good time is
assured all who attend.
The Franklin school was closed all
day today in honor of Lincoln's birth
day.
Misses Maggie and Nellie Nicholson
of Indiana boulevard were visiting
friends in Chicago Saturday.
Miss Mary Stein of Roberts avenus
was a Hammond visitor Saturday.
Miss Carrie Buehler spent Sunday il
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-02-13
GRIFFITH.

Word was received few days ago
from Peter Jansen. who is in Coron-
ado, Fla, for his health. that he is
improving nicely.
A petition asking the town board to
bond the town for $1,000 for the pur-
pose of building a town hall. is being
circulated. 1t is believed there will
be no difficulty in getting enough sign
ers to warrant the board in building
the hall.
Misses Laura Newcomb and Pearl
Jansen visited at the home of F. W.
Love Saturday.
The Misses Martha Demmons and
Jennie Chester the champion spoilers
of Lake county, visited Saturday with
Miss Blanche Riggle, who is also one
of the trio of spoilers that will repre-
sent Lake county in the district con-
test at Monticello.
Prof Har Mundel of Deep River was
the guest of J. w. Hough Saturday.
Ray Dick, who has been night tow
erman for long time, has resigned his
position and expects to move west
soon. Babe" Todd has accepted the
position made vacant by Mr.. Dicks
resignation. The change will take
place the 18th of the month.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-02-13
SHUCkS
From the Diary of ST. Lence

TIMES he'd a story erbout en- Alabamy
niger being sent t. jail fer cuttin' a
wart often tn hind laig o. mule. All
tn mules ever knew Nv would hev
sent tn niger t heaven fer dom an
act like tibet.
Hammond police err wonderin' who
TIL Teller wuz tibet resuntly stole a BIZ
BILE out NV a drug store in tibet city
Probably he's tn same Teller tibet stole
a pick an shovel in Squdgeville vicini-
ty sum time ergo.
1t is reported that VIII Tuthill has
bought the insurance agency bushes s
controlled by Herman e. Sasse and will
launch into the writing of fire and life
insurance in connection with his other
business interests. Mr.. Sasse left on
Saturday for New Orleans and other
southern points,. expecting to take a
months vacation in the southland.
The woman's Study club will meet
at the public library assembly room to-
morrow afternoon for their regular
weekly course of study and the fol-
lowing program will be given by the
club members: Peat and It's Uses, Mrs
p. A. Rott: Valentine Story. Mrs. Eu-
gene Crowell.
Judge and Mrs. w. C. McMahan de-
lightfuily entertained a. party of gent
lemen and lady friends at their home
on South street last Saturday evening
at cards and luncheon. Beautiful
souvenirs were given to the winner.
in the card tournament. An enjoyable
time is reported by those attending thu
affair
Peck's Bad Boy will be the next at
traction at Central Music hall, thu
comedy being presented by good cas-
of players.
DIR. Harry Laws recently assisted II
critical and successful operation onst
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1911-02-13

S. Pizer of the Pier & Miche1son's
store Is in a Chicago hospital, where
he underwent an operation, from pres
ent indications of which he is rapidly
recovering.
Mrs. Joseph Brock and family have
moved to 1o7 Russell street, Hammond.
Mr. and Mrs. wetherburg of the Ped
ersen flats entertained several out-of-
town and local friends yesterday.
Mrs. B. f. Barnes of Indiana boule-
ward was taken to St. Margaret's hos
pital in Hammond Saturday suffer-
ing with gastritis. Mrs. Barnes store
is in charge of her daughter-in-law,
Mrs Edward Barnes during her i'll
ness.
The remains OF Patrick Mahon were
taken to Washington, D. c.. where they
will be inferred besides those of his
brother. William Mahon. who died at
whiting about four years ago. Mr..
| Mahon. who conducted saloon at Fred
street and Schrage avenue. was taken
| to ST. Margaret's hospital on Thursday
and died on Friday. He was mem
Der of the A. o. H of Whiting and
also the F. o. E.. Members of both
orders escorted the remains to the
pennsylvania train at 1890 .. m. or
Saturday night, and John German, a
| representative from the A, o. H., went
| with the remains to Washington, the
deceased having no near relatives In
| this country.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. r. jenkins and Mrs
| Katherine Fitzpatrick of Woodlawr
| and Mrs Katherine Spring of Austir
spent yesterday with Mr.. and Mrs. Johr
| Hannephin.
Mrs Sol Pizer of One Hundred and
i Nineteenth street is visiting relatives
| in Chicago, while her husband is IL
| the hospital
Mrs. Frank N Gavit of oliver street
has returned from Indianapolis, where
she attended Governor Marshall's re-
ception.
Henry Schrage. Sr., has been confin
ed to his home on Schrage avenue the
past week with illness.