davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
No Occasion for Alarm.

The mobilization of the army on the
Mexican frontier gives the jingoists a
great opportunity. They hear 7umors of
war and of grave international compli-
cations and they excite the public mind
by citing the case of the battle ship Maine
in Havana Harbor as a parallel instance
with the present military movement
They wilk view with alarm each casual
and commonplace fact, and their souls
will not rest satisfied until the United
States troops are engaged in deadly
combat on Mexican soil.
There is not, however, airy occasion
for alarm. Mexico has not asked for
American intervention and there is no
disposition on the part of this govern
ment to invade foreign territory. We
will demonstrate our ability to move a
goodly portion of the army in quick
order and we will give assurance to
Europe that we are in position to
maintain the Monroe doctrine. Condi-
tions must radically change, however,
before the war cloud assumes ominous
form, and in the meantime we may con-
tinue our daily avocations undisturbed.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

the United States with no
S a
checks witt his
is the or
collector Of old
London Of English
lecture Becher Mark
and
JULIAN HAWTHORNE
president
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
Mail Wagons Deliver Merchandise

Fred L. Owens, of London, England,
who is at the Shoreham, in speaking of
package delivery in England. said yester-
day: Not only do the general public
eagerly avail themselves of the service
for the transmission of all sorts OF
articles, ranging from a hatpin to a we'd
ding trousseau, but the great retail
houses, in increaing numbers, also en-
ploy it for sending home the purchases
of customers, instead of using their own
delivery wagons. They find the government
does the work for them cheaper and bet
ter than they can do it for themselves.
The price charged, which is paid, OF
course. in postage stamps, varies from 2
cents for a parcel weighing under two
pounds to 2 cents for a parcel not ex-
ceeding eleven pounds. Many of the
London laundries now send home the
weeks washing by parcels post for the
same reason that the big stores are TAX
ing to it The service costs less than
that which they had previously provided
themselves.
"One of the great advantages Of the
parcels post as compared with the work
of private companies is its celebrity. Be
fore it came into vogue customers often
had to wait days for their goods. Now.
within the London radius, 1t is a case OF
only a few hours, for the parcels post
makes several deliveries daily. By paying
a small additional fee, immediate deliv-
cry is secured.
Another feature OF the parcels post
service which commends it to the public
is the fact that all goods transmitted by
1t are practically insured up to figure
which covers the value OF most packages
sent"
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
Annual or Triennial Assessments.

The substitution of an annual assess
ment for the present triennial system is
to be recommended, according to the
District assessor, to Congress for
adoption.
There is much to be said in favor of
this change. Real estate values are
notably inconstant The vacant field
upon the city's outskirts to-day is to-
morrow populous and prosperous sub
division. On the other hand. & section
which is to-day of value is deprecated
tomorrow 1t is said, and with truth,
that intervals of three years are too
long to insure proper adjustment of
these fuctuating values. The District
assessor appreciates this fact and his ad-
vocacy of change is based upon OBJ
servation and upon the knowledge that
there is considerable injustice in the
present arrangement. 1t is to be ex-
pected that if an annual assessment is
to be adopted there will be an enlarge
ment and reorganization of the present
assessing force, although it is said that
the results to be attained will more than
offset the additional expense incurred.
At the same time, it would be worth
while for the Commissioners to secure
consensus of public opinion upon the
subject before they take final action.
There is one strong argument for the
triennial assessment which must not be
overlooked When the assessors have
completed their work the taxpayers
know that there cannot be disturbance
of their rate for three years. This sta
bility has value On the other hand,
an annual assessment will place upon
the property owner the necessity of ex-
amining the tax books each year and
may subject him to an annual appeal to
the board of equalization and review.
1t is evident, therefore, that the question
has more than one point of view, and
public sentiment ought to be definitely
expressed before any change is made
The average citizen would be indignant
if the commercial rating he enjoys were
to form he baS of fc3YraS
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
The Bats the Thing.

The late Justice Brewer was with a
party Of New York friends on a fishing
trip in the Adirondacks, and around the
camp fire one evening the talk naturally
ran to big fish. When it came his turn.
the turist began. uncertain as to how he
was going to come out:
I'VE were fishing one time on the
Grand Banks for-er-for-"
Whales" somebody suggested
NO" said the justice, I'VE were bait
ing with whales"
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
Blood relationship.

In a speech in the Senate on Hawaiian
affairs, former Senator Depew, of New
York, told this story:
When Queen Liliuokalani was in Eng
land during the English Queens jubilee.
she was received at Buckingham Palace.
In the course OF the remarks that passed
between the two Queens, the one from
the Sandwich Islands said that she had
English blood in her veins:
How SOP inquired Victoria
My ancestors ate Capt. Cook
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
Good Story of Archbishop Ryan.

From the Philadelphia Evening Timss-
Memories have been freshened by the
death of Archbishop Ryan. and many
incidents in his life are being told by
those who knew him. Among them. one
that he took great pleasure in telling him
self, is the following:
At the breaking of ground for one of
the new buildings for the Catholic Uni
versity at Washington Cardinal Glib
bons was officiating He turned over a
large piece of grass-covered earth, when
it was discovered that there had been
hitch in the ceremony.
We'll" said the cardinal. "T suppose
that we will have to dig another sod"
"Oh, no, no." said Archbishop Ryan,
never. go back on the old sod"
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
Where Did He Learn Itf

From Ia FoIIettes WeehIy.
A teacher of English. in order to dis
prove the charge that high school pupils
know little about the vital things that
are going on around them. gave a test
in which she asked for definitions OF such
terms as tariff. reciprocity. the labor
problem In the paper of a ffteen-year-
old she found this: The labor problem
is how to keep the working people happy
without paying them enough to live on"
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
Gut the Nickel I'm Two.

From Life
Will the Federal government oblige
many citizens by coming some 2hs-cent
pieces? We need them every hour. They
would help to simplify many commercial
problems, including some problems OF
street railway transportation. Half
cent pieces would be a nuisance and
create unnecessary and troublesome COM
merciaI disturbance, but a coin that
would represent the half of 5 cents would
be help.
Cut the nickel in two for us, Messrs.
Congressmen 1t would help the con-
sumer and at the same time stimulate
the exchange of commodities.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

In a breach OF promise suit the girl
plaintiff, who, according to letters read
in court, had been addressed as Honey
Bunchums'' by the defendant, was award
ed $1,000 heart balm Any girl who is
obliged to answer to a name like that
deserves 10000.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

The Hungarians Of this country sent
81, 600 900 home to the old folks last year.
1t would be interesting to know how much
money these thrifty men brought with
them when they came here.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

Wealth is not always influential A
New York banker who had stolen 10000
was given fifteen months in prison and a
boy who had taken $50 got thirteen
months. The banker got the worst Of It
by two months
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

Gov. Harmon, OF Ohio, has declined the
invitation of the Texas legislature to ad-
dress the solons. He will have nothing
new to talk about until next year.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

The New England preacher who made
the astounding statement that the blush
is lost to modern womankind is decid-
edly in the wrong. Not lost, cnly COW
cred
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
She Explains.

I breathe my vows from a surcharged
heart" said the young man.
Nonsense. George" said the college
damsel You don't breathe from your
heart You breathe from your dia-
Ihragm."
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

And then, just as a hypothetical ques-
ton, suppose that we agree to reciprocity
here, after all, and then Canada should
reject it; what then? That would be a
poser TO the administration
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
Would Tinker Calendar.

The plan for reforming the Gregorian
calendar has the merit of simplicity"
said Col r. S. Crosby, of Philadelphia,
who is at the New Willard.
1T is proposed to make every year ex-
actly ffty-two weeks by regarding New
Years as a day apart from the number
ed days of any month. and also leap
year day when it occurs. The year
would always begin with Monday. July
l. would always be Wednesday, Christ
mas. Tuesday; Washington's Birthday,
Thursday. Lincolns Birthday Sunday 1t
is even proposed to abandon the elabor-
ate calculation by which the date of
Easter Sunday is now determined, and
make it always April :. though the
church would hardly sanction so eX-
treme an innovation.
There would be practical advantages
in such a change, but it is not likely
to be made. There is nothing of which
people are more jealous than their accus-
toned methods of reckoning time. The
adoption of the Gregorian calender was
followed by dangerous riots of people
shouting. Give US back our eleven days.
The Russian nation still clings to its
calender, which is now thirteen days be
hind the rest of Europe. The whole
Mohammedan world uses not only
short year, which causes extreme suffer
ing for a whole month when the Rama
dan fast from food and water falls IN
midsummer, but a shifting noon. which
makes it necessary to reset the clocks
daily But in both cases hint of change
is not popular.
The adoption of standard time is the
one exceptional example of such a
change. This was forced upon the world
by railroads, many towns resisting for
years. And it is imperfect. Italy is still
the only important country in which
one can go to bed legally at twenty
three o'clock"
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

If ever King Alfonso finds himself
minus a job, he will not have to sponge
upon relatives or friends. He was award
ed recently the first prize for sailing his
yacht
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
A Possible Reason.

TT is very difficult to exact a promise
from that man."
II wonder why?'
81 think he figures on keeping his
promises"
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
His Contribution.

"A college has just made me doctor
of literature"
What did you ever writer
well, I wrote 'em a very large check"
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
A Commercial Ruse.

do you know any chorus girls?' in
quired the senior partner.
NO" said the junior partner. why
do you ask?"
IF you could manage to get engaged
to a chorus girl think the news would
bolster up our credit for awhile"
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

The German Empire is to be congrat-
ulated upon having as many as 100000
inhabitants, but more so upon the quail
ity of citizens she has given to the great
American republic
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

Was the New York sheriff alseep all
this time? The name of Joseph G. Robin
was called as a juror in the criminal
court in that city last Monday.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
A Widows Way.

From the ChioSo News
After a widow has made up her mind
to marry another man she begins to wear
colors to match his complexion.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
His Hard Luck.

The poet sings of bees and things;
The poet is no wizard.
He tries to bring the gentle spring,
But only brings a blizzard
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

Why all this, TRmpus about the girl
who was found in a local hotel mas
Queradins, as a boy? She was only a
bit ahead of her sisters, to judge by the
new style skirts
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
Harmless Amusement.

Il see somebody has sold you gold
brick at some time"
Yes" said Farmer Whifaetree- II
paid two dollars fer that brick It's
worth its weight in gold to amuse the
summer boarders"
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
What L. a ReconteurI

From the Galveston News.
AS we understand IT, raconteur is a
man who can tell an old joke so it sounds
like he made it up.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
ReckIe.. with Dishes.

From the Grand Rapids Press
Food is certainly high in some places.
A Western aviator took his wife up in
an aeroplane for picnic dinner.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

Artists may often take models for their
wives, but how often do they regard
them as models Of wives?
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

A girl who received number OF blows
on the head from burglar owes her life
to her possession of fine head of hair.
A word TO the wise, you know.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

Tuesday night and yesterday forenoon
forcibIy recalled Mr.. Taft's Inauguration
weather
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

"A party of US went to Mexico to see
battle"
Did you see a battle?''
Saw part of battle. The battle was
called on account of rain"
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
would Have Shocked Adam.

From the Omaha Bee.
Just try to imagine how it would have
shocked Adam had Eve, worn one Of
these scar'em skirts.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
Not Finished.
A SKELETON POEM.

Spring odes no new note ever strike.
You fill this in; they're all alike.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

The Census Bureau tells US that last
year So, 10000 animals were slaughtered
for food. What proportion is still in cold
storage?
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09
VIEWS AND
INTERVIEWS
Glass Feeling Is old,

Prof. ]. Weber Linn, of the University
OF Chicago, who was recently seen at
the Cochran, in discussing the class dif-
ferences between the American people,
said: Scott presented a simple view of
the relations between riches and poverty
in his feudalistic idea that the world was
made up of a certain number Of able
persons and each of these surrounded by
vassalage of less able persons. Dick
ems first grasped the true status in his
Hard Times in which he made clear
that it is more than a question of being
well fed to insure contentedness. This,
however, did not contradict kingsley's
view that the only way the church could
do anything worth while was to go down
into the physical as we'll as the moral
needs of the people. George Eliot created
a hero in Felix Holt, who, as a descend
ant of line of craftsmen, chose the lot
of the worker rather than riches, not
because of a possible reward in heaven.
but in the belief that he could get more
out of life as a practical-minded crafts
man that he could amid the degenerat
ing influences of higher society. I like
the thought of Kingsley, as he voices
not only the discomfort of the classes,
but advances the solution in a movement
for betterment by these same classes
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

Can a man serve both Congress and the
ChautauQua? Ask Champ Clark.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

The average citizen would be indignant
if the commercial rating he enjoys were
to form the basis of figures for taxing
him.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

The other rooms are bedrooms, of which
there are no less than twenty-four. But
must not forget to mention the !''clou'
of the Lyceum Club; 1 mean the bath
room, which is in the second story. 1t
is indeed the height Of luxury. The floor
is covered with costly mosaic. the walls
with carved marble panels, the doors arc
of satinwood, and the bath itself is cut
from a single block of marble. The taps
are two fine bronzes, veritable works of
art.
The garden, which extends behind the
mansion surrounded by wall of great
height. is piece of enchantment, with
its lawn and fountain. All around are
big. old trees, in the shade of which our
charming Parisiennes will find a fresh
and delightful tea-time resort.
In the space of three Yeas the idea
of establishing permanent union be-
tween women interested in letters,
science. art, philanthropy, and social
questions has made great progress. The
membership of the club increases every
day. The elite Of French society has
responded with enthusiasm to the call Of
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

From the Baltimore Star.
America is just one blank election after
another.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-09

The people at large are getting an i'm
preston that the Interstate Commerce
Commission is earning its salary.
The Greeley tribune., 1911-04-13
SILVER FOX CAPTURED
BY OLD TIME TRAPPER

James M. Handy, who for so
years has trapped along the streams
in this section and who still follows
trapping for living, was in Greeley
with a big bundle of furs. among
them silver fox skin. valued at
$1,000.
Mr. Hanby says this is the first
silver fox he has bagged in 80 years
and so far as known the first that
has been taken by any one IN that
time
Handy IL over 20 years old, but
his outdoor life and simple manner
of living has kept him strong and
youthful. He laughs at the state
ment that there are no fur bearing
wild animals on the plains and along
the foothills now. He says that
they are AZ plentiful as they were
quarter Of a century ago. only that
one must know where to look for
them and how to catch them. Handy
says he 10 making better catches
every season and thinks he will beat
this winters record a year from
now.
The Greeley tribune., 1911-04-13
ELKS INSTALL
new OFFICERS

The annual Installation Of Of
flcers for the Elk lodge was held at
the regular meeting Thursday even
ing. There was a large attendance
at the meeting and refreshments
were served at the close. Following
are the new officers. w. Hall
Thompson. exalted ruler; Elbert
English, leading knight; Tom L.
Cronin. loyal knight: H. ]. Webb
king, lecturfng knight: Charles
Davis, secretary: ]. A. Sheppard.
treasurer; W. r. Patterson. trustee
for three years: E. B. Hatch, chair
man of entertainment committee;
Oscar feafgren, chairman OF sick
and relief committee; Emil Hurdtle.
tyler; Ben Cooper, inner guard;
Robert Dye. esquire.
The Greeley tribune., 1911-04-13
.LUPTON WINS
IN CLOSE GAME

The hundreds of enthusiastic fans
attending the ball game at Island
Grove park Sunday afternoon and
a run for their money from the sew
enth inning on when the Grays tied
the Fort Lupton team by bringing In
the seventh run. Prior to the fifth
inning the game seemed to be
walkaway for the visitors, as the
score was six to nothing until the
locals took brace and started
things doing. With the assistance
of several costly errors on the part
of the visitors the Grays got five
runs in the fifth and sixth innings
and tied the score OF seven all in the
seventh.
In the ninth the visitors got IN
another run on one of those fatai
asleep at the switch errors and the
Grays were unable to score in their
last half of the ninth. leaving the
visitors victors to the tune of s to l.
The Greeley tribune., 1911-04-13

Ahrend, Roy Collins, Walter Linin-
ger, Ben Florance and Ben Marsh.
In the other important offices the
present incumbents will be candi-
dates to succeed themselves. City
Attorney ]. c. Ewing will have op-
position, it is said, from John c.
Nixon. Other we'll known attorneys
are mentioned as being acceptable
to some of the newly elected offfc-
ials.
Milton Seaman, street supervisor,
will have a number of applicants
with his own. George Washburn,
Dan Stroll and Joseph Kidder are
mentioned as possibilities.
Although the office of water sup
erintendent is a desirable one there
are only whispers of opposition to
Jesse Nolan, who holds the position
now.
DR.. w. H. Shields probably will
have things his own way, since any
who are in the race for city health
inspector have not noised about
their candidacy.
The several other offices will have
fair sprinkling of applicants for
each and from the present lineup 1t
| is expected that by the time the new
council and city officers get busy
they will have a large array of tai
T! ent from which to make selections.
The Greeley tribune., 1911-04-13
CANDIDATES FOR OFFICES
BEGINNING TO GET BUSY
City Marshall Is Only One Not In Line To Sue
coed Himsef-Plenty Of Talent Will Be Avail
able For New City Officials To Make Selec-
tions--Present Incumbents Will Be In Line For
Reappontment

With the election OF the new city
onicers has come speculation regard
ing the appointive offices on the
part of numerous candidates that
have been watching the results with
more than passing interest. The
elimination Of five of the candidates
for aldermen of the eleven that had
to be figured before election has re-
duced the fence building to a more
certain basis.
Although no appointments can be
made before the first meeting of the
council April IS, various names are
being mentioned as probable ap-
pointees for the different offices of
importance.
The next city marshal is causing
wide speculation, especially in view
of the announced platform of the
newly elected mayor-"clean out
the bootleggers" Long since, Mar
shall Williams has announced that
he was through, so that it has been
an open field for aspi'rants long be-
fore it as known who would dispense
the appointment. There are half a
dozen in line for the job, with prob
ably more who will assert them
selves later. Among those whose
GRAFTON are D. F. Camp, William
The Greeley tribune., 1911-04-13
Perce Record Thinks Skunk May Be
Hidden Under County Court House

The Pierce Record in its last issue
has the following comment to make
on the conditions in Weld county:
In view of the latest developments
in the unofficial investigation of af-
fairs at the Weld county court
house, it would seem that there is a
large sized and evil smelling skunk
under the official county residence,
and that it is time for the district
court to take steps toward Kidding
the place of the animal. Perhaps
a whole nest of them may be en-
countered. Who knows?
The feeble effort of the Weld
County Republican to laugh away
the findings which resulted in the
restitution of $500 of the peoples
money to the county treasury do not
take we'll with the man whose an
nual tax notice calls for an increase
of from so to 100 per cent over pre-
vious years. True, many of those
who have kicked to the assessor
have been assured that it was all a
mistake" and had the excess abat-
ed, but that is small satisfaction to
the man who Is forced to lose days
work and expenses in travelling u
the county seat in order to find
where the mistake" is. and who
made it. A case of mistake oc-
The Greeley tribune., 1911-04-13

cured recently in which a Pierce
farmer found another mans quarter
section assessed to himself, and it
cost him, in addition to his time and
expenses, $3.50 to have the mis-
take erased from the records.
These, as we'll as many othe like in
cidents, indicate a condition OF af-
fairs that may prove to be either in
competency or worse, and the people
are entitled to know By all means.
let us have an investigation, full and
complete. 1t will hurt no honest
man, while on the other hand it may
be q good lesson to future aspirants
to public office. If any are found
guilty of graft, let the whitewash
brush be thrown into the we'll