Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-07-14
Setting Forth What May Hap
pen if Boards New Rule
Is Enforced.

DTdInaIlS IGISOldc ahAOAiiNAi
Richard Brightmind, first robber, sec
ond robber. ambulance surgeon, etc.
ACT l.
Patrolman Richard Brightmind Ito
himself)-Can't talk no more-wouldn't
that beat you! A spasm before he
commissioners and some good yellow
shekels locked for every offense-
whowl Maybe we aren't in bad-what?
And every time anyone has a mind to
report us talking, we're to be con-
sidered guilty until we prove 1t was all
about official business.
(Groans sadly and walks on a few
steps,. We've got to take ~anybody's
talk now without even reminding 'em
that we're officers of the law; but I'd
better quit right now-maybe they'll be
able to get me for talking to myself.
Oh, my; oh. my
(Sighs disconsolately and walks on).
(Reiectively) If l couldn't hear may
be 1 wouldn't want to talk.
(Exit).
First Robber (stealitly)-Sh-sssh-
the cop wot's on this beat Is a pipe.
You becha! He wouldn't hear us take
der house to pieces and carry 1t all
away. Not on you life. Dis Is wot
I call a lead-pipe cinch. You becha!
Second Robber-Sure as fate, Mike.
Well Just pick UP the swag and wan
der. That's the M%illionair Moneybag
shack wei there. Some fine looking
house, wot?-Here comes our friend
de cop.
First Robber-Oh, don't mind him,
Jimmy. He can't talk-he'll get broke
If he does. And this peach can't hear,
| either. They ought to blind and lame
'em, too-dat's wot I've always sed.
Enter patrolman; stands with back
to robbers and Moneybag's mansion.)
Second Robber-Come on, let's go In.
walk up marble steps of Money
bags mansion, break open door with
much noise, and enter. Patrolman does
not stir.)
Patrolman r. B. with bright smile)
We'll, I've solved 1t. all right. pats
ears. with satisfactorily. No one can
insult me or ask me questions now. l
Just won't hear them. No fresh guy
will talk me into telling him what l
think about him-not when I'm on
duty, anyway.
kVnIs fAtiiO6 1OOhASato" ekRt
walking jauntily).
Mr.. G.-Hello. Richard. aid boy. The
Tigers got walloped again. Did you
hear about? Great game .thiugh. How
what's the matter? Not feeling well
(Patrolman r. b, mods coldly to Mr..
Goodfellow and walks on. Mr.. G.. seizes
him by the arm).
Mr.. G. (shouting)-Say, they were
Qn-
normal voice. oh, / guess he's got bats
In his belfry. Kind of late for the hot
spell to be getting It's innings. Poor
fellowi
(Exit).
, PATROLMAN r. B.-I don't know
what he said. but my scheme worked
all right. l wonder-hello-
(Stout woman enters; looks at houses
anxiously; sees patrolman and runs
toward him, p%anting).
STOUT WOMAN-Of1cer, oh, officer!
1 want to find No. 40. Where is 1t?
Can you tell me. please?
CPatrolman smiles sereneiy upon her
and passes on. jolly looking man, fat
face and fat diamond in tie, enters;
nearly runs into patrolman).
FAT MAN-Oh, 1 say, Richard, you
won that rattle at Harry's. Sure as
you live! A real gold watch. Now be
real nice about and-what-why don't
o answer?
mo r~esponse).
FAT MAN-Very we'll, you bic NUT
ton headed cop-I'll see that that gold
watch goes to someone else. You betl
You bet!
ACT ".
Great excitement. Crowd PUSHES into
street.
First man in crowd-Help! Thief!
Where's the officer?
All-Stop thief! Help!
CPatrolman crosses stage at right;
| does not hear yells or see crowd; smiles
serenely as usual).
All-"Of1cer, they're robbersi"
1.-TWO robbers dash down steps OF
Moneybags mansion and rush across
the street as the crowd yells; several
automobiles turn into ~street).
Patrolman r. B.-Everything seems
awful quiet. If only l could talk to
some
(Robbers dodge one automobile,
crash into patrolman, throw him In
front of another auto. which run over
him. (Confusion.)
ACT ".
Ambulance Surgeon (sadly)-Its all
over. Brave act-trying to stop those
two desperate burglars. 1 wonder what
these things are in the officers ears?
(Studies them In ~perplexity.) Look
like some new-fangled sort of muf-
fers-no one could hear a blessed
thing with those in, not ever in a
boiler shop.