davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-11-17
THE TEST OF A GOOD ACTOR.

THE TEST OF A GOOD ACTOR.
 James Thornton, the monologist, was walking down Broadway one evening when he Saw. leaning against a lamp post, an individual who was evidently an actor just off the road. Equally apparent was the fact that the man needed a job or money.
 How do you do, my friend?" greeted Thornton.
 The stranded actor, recognizing Thorn ton, spoke to him a trifie sadly.
 Need job?" asked Thornton.
 T do-badly," answered the actor.
 What have you done?"
 "A lot of work" explained the other, his face brightening at the prospect of Thornton's taking an interest fin him. I've done all sorts of roles in stock com panies.'' .s-s
 Ever play the part of Mexican?"
 "Oh, yes"
 Pretty good at it. weren't you?"
 Well, if do say 1t myself. Mr. Thorn ton, I think I played the Mexican in fine shape.''
 That being the case,'' responded Thornton, handing him tobacco and a cigarette paper, roll me a cigarette"
 The man who made such a hit as Mex ican made miserable failure of the cigarette. And Thornton, observing this fact, resumed his stroll leaving the stranded actor still stranded.-The Twice a-month Popular Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
TAKE LESSON FROM VENUS
Moral That Writer Has Drawn Is
Not Without Some Points of
Worthiness.

Miss Venus Is a lovely girl; not
one time has she muttered, against
her pale, illumined life not one word
has she uttered. Just think she's
been without her arms for many dusty
ages, and yet she never drops the
brine or rants in hopeless RACES. She
has to stand bunch of CUFF from Art
bugs down to draymen, and yet she
never once comes back and grills the
heather layman When some low
brow of brutal mein starts merrily to
panning and says her face is worse
than wood and that her hair needs
canning or that he has a waitress
friend who jerks a coffee jigger could
give her many, many leagues and beat
! her out on fgger, she never even
looks at him, that rank untutored sin
| ner, but holds her tongue and pedes-
| tai; 0, Venus is a winner. She's on
| the job both day and night; she hears
men knock or flatter and women not
of classic mold get madden than
| halter. She suffers long and quietly
with calm and placid manner, in cold
no mits to reach a quilt, in heat, no
| hands to fan her. She is a lesson in
! herself-a fruit for daily picking. Just
| spare the world your trouble tales and
scratch the useless kicking.-G. S., in
| Chicago Tribune
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19

deep. reverberant bass. Yet, not long
after he had started upon his strictly
parliamentary tongue flashing Of the
man who was hated and despised Of
the Democrats, he occasionally halted,
as though trying to catch his breath
Then, at times, his voice became sud
denly husky. Again, what seemed to
me to be an expression Of pain passed
over his features, and towards the end
Of the speech he paused frequently,
often that he might swallow drink
Of water, which he took as though his
mouth were parched.
Perhaps half an hour after the sena-
tor had finished speaking 1t fell to my
lot to meet him In a horse car going
down Pennsylvania avenue. l ven
tured to say that I had had the pleas
ure of listening to every word Of his
speech, and was sure that it would at
tract widespread attention. AS l spoke
l noticed that he held his mouth open
i in peculiar way.
81 thank you for what you have
said,' the senator replied. But I am
fearful that 1t is my last speech in
the senate.">
81 thought you were occasionally in
some physical distress" l said, as the
senator paused.
you were correct" ne said Some
portions of the speech were delivered
while l was In great pain, and nearly
all of 1t was delivered under much
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19

physical inconvenience. There Is some
thing the matter with my throat. 1t
becomes peculiarly dry, with parch-
ing dryness, when l am compelled to
talk long. l am going TO Philadelphia
to consult specialist in a day or
two"
That he did, and the surgeons dis
covered that an excrescence had grown
upon the tongue. 1t was removed al
most Immediately. But in a little while
the malignant growth reappeared, and
then 1t was that the senator knew he
was doomed. He went TO his home
and died soon after from the effects of
this trouble, somewhat similar to the
disease which caused the death of
General Grant. He had, indeed,
spoken prophetically when he said
that he was apprehensive that the
speech in which he attacked Senator
Malone would be his last In the fed
eral senate.
Copyright. 1910. by E. ]. Edwards All
Rights ReserYed.)
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
Accounts Grant Didn't Audit

| other documents essential to perfect
accounting, and said to him:
Father, | have tried to keep very
careful and accurate accounts of your
business affairs since you hsxe been
away, and I think | have dofie pretty
well. l have here general statement
Of receipts and disbursements a de-
tailed statement, and a complete set OF
vouchers. l EN- sure that you will find
to have you look them over
Well, my son, father asked, did
you receive enough money to pay all
my bills prunptly?'
"'Oh. yes, the receipts were abund-
ant
Well, you have paid all the bills?'
Ives, every one
Was there anything left over"
Yes, quite a little sum-.
Then take your accounts away and
lock them UP; 1 don't care to see them.
So long as all the bills were paid. and
so long as the balance remains in my
favor, what do l care about accounts :?
That's all want to know
And do you know" concluded Mr..
Grant, Il could never get fathertto look
at those accounts l had kept SO pains
takingly against the day of his return
But l think he was not a little proud
of the way In which was able to hand
a general report to him by word of
mouth"
Copyright. 1910, by E. J. Edwards. All
Rights Reserved)
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
NOT AS BAD AS If SOUNDED
Wonderful Highland Dialect Respon-
sibIe for Wrong Impression
Given Divine.

Andrew Carnegie, at a dinner in
New York, talked about the Scotch
dialect.
It's a hard lingo to understand, he
said. 1T often causes awkward mis-
takes.
Once an American divine spent
Christmas in a Highland inn On
Christmas morning he gave the maid
tip of a sovereign, and he said. look
ing earnestly at her-for she was a
pretty maid
Do you know, Kathleen, your are
very good-looking lassie?'
"Of course Kathleen was pleased,
but, being modest. she blushed like a
rose and answered:
All, ma; All IA! But my kissin,
sir, is beautiful
The divine frowned.
Leave the room, you wicked
young baggage" he said sternly.
He didn't know. you see, that mod
est Kathleen had been simply praising
in her Highland dialect, the superior
charms of her cousin Janet of Pee
bles."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
A Mar, of SeZf-DenieuL

which one could prolong ones days,
but whether he should follow them
he was not ready to decide;
He wavered, regret to state, until it
was by far too late, and he, alas, I
grieve to say, was only thirty when
he died.
Nathan NJ. Levy In New York Sun.
TWO Soldiers.
Lack of petty jealousy is one of the
distinguishing marks of the great. To
be entirely frank in the appreciation
Of rival is better than to win q bat
tie. Lee and Jackson, the two great
generals of the south during the Civil
war, were absolutely free from even
trace Of rivalry. Theodore A. Dodge
quotes a remark from each In his arti.
Gle on Charlottesville
He is the only man I would follow
blindfolded,' said Jackson.
When Gen. Lee heard of Jackson's
wound, he exclaimed:
He has lost his left arm, but have
lost my right Companion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
SKIN TORTURED BABIES
SLEEP AND MOTHERS REST

A warm bath with Cuticura Soap.
followed by gentle amounting with
Cuticura ointment, is generally sufh
cfent to afford immediate comfort in
the most distressing forms Of itching,
burning and scaly eczemas, rashes, ir-
ritations and infammations of in
fants and children, permit sleep for
child and rest for parent, and point to
permanent relief, when other methods
fail Peace falls upon distracted
households when these pure, sweet
and gentle emol1fents enter. No other
treatment costs SO little and does SO
much for skin sufferers, from infancy
to age. Send to Potter Drug & Chem.
Corp, Boston, for free 32-page book on
the care and treatment of skin and
scalp troubles.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
a Lesson for Diplomats.

Elihu Root, at the luncheon in
Providence preceding the dedication
of the John Hay Memorial library at
Brown university, said of John Hay:
His diplomacy was gracious, and
it was prudent as well. l remember,
in an argument about certain inter
national complication, how very
warmly and aptly he once insisted on
prudence.
ct was the Christmas season, and
he said that we might learn lesson
from a little girl who was naughty in
the early part of December.
Dear me- her mother said, II
you're going to be naughty I'm very
much afraid Santa Claus won't bring
you any presents
THE little girl frowned.
WELL she whispered, you needn't
say it SO near the chimney"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
Senator Benjamin Harvey Hill Predict
I'd That His Attack on Malone
Would Be His Last
Speech.

With the possible exception Of Alex
the confederacy, no other statesman OF
the south who entered congress during
the reconstruction era SO greatly In
terested both members Of congress and
visitors TO the capitol as did old Ben
iamfn Harvey Hill of Georgia. First
as representative and then as SEN
Rtor, he was especially conspicuous be-
cause he was the member Of the state
convention Of Georgia IN 1851 who
earnestly opposed the proposed seces-
sion Of that state. After Georgia Sc
coded, however, Mr.. Hill gave his
earnest support to the cause and be-
came member of the confederate SEN
ate, where he met George G. Vest of
Missouri, who served as q confederate
senator before he became a United
States senator from Missouri Vete-
ran members of congress of the seven
lies and early eighties who remember
ed John c. Calhoun thought they de-
tected strong physical resemblance
between Senator Hill and Calhoun, at
iS%ASN IA ZIG S0I4touA VI IAS AC1IAI OS,
the heavy over-hanging eyebrows and
the stf1y brushed hair.
Undoubtedly the greatest speech
that Senator Hill delivered during his
congressional carer, which began in
1875, and ended seven years later, was
that in which he vigorously attacked
| Senator William Malone OF Virginia
for his unexpected alliance with the
Republicans, a move that brought
about a tie, instead of the slight Benz
| ocratic majority which had been an
| ticfpated.
! Senator Hill sat in the front rev, on
/ the aisle, of the Democratic side. Sen
ator Malone had been allotted a seat
at the end Of the row upon the Repub-
| tican side. Therefore 1t was possible
for Senator Hill to face Senator Ma
hone without changing his seat or
even stepping from his desk to the
aisle, and through the delivery Of his
castigation of the 'befrIlled man
from the Old Dominion, the Georgian
| took advantage of this position to drive
home his sentences Of damnation of
Mahone's course In the senate.
! Senator Hill began with a voice
| that never seemed more powerful to
the packed galleries and the body OF
the senate. 1t WIS of vast volume, s.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19

He had great schemes within his
head; he patented a folding bed,
but though he praised 1t loud and
long he never tried to sleep in It;
An sirship wonderful he planned, of
nice proportions, graceful, grand,
but he was rather timorous when
he was asked therein to fit
With much ado he brought to view a
fuel that was wholly new, but in
the furnace of his house he went
on burning chunks of coal;
He had novel instrument for Turing
fish, but when intent on gathering
IN the fnny tribe he stuck to the
old bait and pole.
He had preparation rare that he de-
clared would quick grow hair, but
never tried 1t on himself although
his head could boast no thatch;
He had devices to Hume the black
ness Of the darkest room, but when
he wanted light himself he used an
ordinary match.
At last he studied out the ways by
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
Yankees Secret Berlin Visit

he spoke German as though it were
his native tongue.
when first arrived at The Hague"
Mr.. Hollis said to me shortly after he
returned therefrom, Il was a little
dif1dent about taking any active part
in the conference Andrew D. White,
one of my associates. was universally
known abroad because he had served
as ambassador to Germany, and also
because OF his Identification with Cor
nell university. He was well acQua1nt-
ed with the kaiser. My other associ-
ate, Seth Low, was also a man OF in
Iernational reputation. So, you see,
my first inclination was to keep in
the background as much as possible.
But in the course Of the deHbera-
tons Of the conference a matter that
l deemed most vital to American in
terests came up for discussion-I am
under pledge not to reveal it's ma
turs-and almost before I realized 1t
| had lost my shyness and WIS in the
thick of the deliberations. For sever
al days we Americans pressed for the
adoption of our point OF view, only to
discover eventually that the German
repr esentattves, the French and at
least one Of the British delegates were
opposed to 1t. And when we sought
for the real reason Of the opposition
we discovered that 1t was based upon
statement made privately by one OF
the German representatives that the
feature would not be favorably re-
garded by the German emperor, or,
at least, by those who were high in
his official family
"I for one did not believe that to
be true. made up my mind that I
would verify or dfsprove the state
ment of the German delegate, and to
that end I was able to secure delay
of a day or two in the final discussion
without saying anything to anyone of
my purpose. Then, quietly, l slipped
out OF The Hague by a night train,
and the following day was in close
touch with the emperor of Germany
himself. A little inquiry satisfied me
that the kaiser and his official family
had been misrepresented, as I had
suspected. But 1t was going to be
delicate matter to make report Of
that Kind at The Hague. The German
delegate who had either deliberately
or fnnocentIy misrepresented his i'm
pertal master might feel offended, and
he certainly would not be disposed to
feel very kindly toward me.
However, I was authorized tactfuf-
Iy to report that the feature which we
Americans were especially DESTROYS Of
seeing adopted would not be regarded
with dfsapproval by the emperor or
his official family That announcement
| made in due course, and as tactfully
and politely as knew how. You can
imagine the surprise that was caused
by what I had to say. | was asked
how l knew I took the night train
to Berlin and spent few hours there
since last saw you,' l replied.
That reply was sufficient We
Americans had our way and what we
regarded as one of the most important
matters brought before The Hague
peace conference was in that way
made certain of final adoption"
Copyright, 1910, by e. J. Edwards All
Rights Reserved.)
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
Refused 90 Look at Those Kept 10y
Son During Nortd-cIrcIlna Trip,
Since All Bills Were
Paid.

The only one Gpf the Grant children
who did not accompany the general
and Mrs. Grant Gon any part of their
famous tour around the world, which
began when they set sail from Phi1a-
delphia In 1877, following the close lof
the generals second term as presi-
dent, was their second son, IT. s.
Grant, Jr- Years later, when this son
had become a wellknoTn resident of
San Diego, called his attention to the
fact and asked why he did Lot take
the trip.
l have always regretted that was
not able TO make the Journey" was the
reply, but there were one or two good
reasons that operated to keep NE at
home. | had been recently graduated
from Harvard and the Columbia Law
school and had just begun the practice
of law. 1t did not seem expedient that
l should break in upon my LIES work
thus early by taking part In q world
tour that perhaps would occupy the
better part OF three years. Further
more, 1t was necessary that some one
should be In the United States who
could look after fathers business af-
fairs, and because there was a very
good personal reason why l should re-
main at home. l was given the task
Of managing fathers business matters
for him while he was absent from
the country
We'll, after father had started | de-
c1ded to keep very careful, system
10 -
relating to such of his business as
might be called upon to transact AS
beheld these accounts grow from
month to month, reflected with some
pride that upon fathers return a.
should be able to lay before him &C
companied by the necessary vouchers,
a complete and full statement of ali
collections and expenditures made by
me IN his behalf. Anu, 1 must con-
TESS, as the time for his return drew
near l began to look for a compliment
on the manner in which I had attend
ed to his business and on the accurate
and complete story of his business af-
fairs. that the accounts would tell to
him.
"Of course, some time after IA |
Aher's return we were too much oc- |
eupied with greetings, with receiving |
friends and congratulations, and with !
listening to the various stories that |
father had to teB Of his experiences, to |
get down to the business that lay be- |
tween him and me. But, finally, there /
came a day when l placed before
father my account hooks. vouchers and |
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
World-Famous Financjer

The task mf negotiating Turkey s
great loan has no terrors for tho mil
ltonaire financier, Sir Ernest Cassel.
Undertakings which would appear
colossal to the average city magaate
are handled by Sir Ernest with the
utmost serenity and caImness. One
of his first successes, after launching
into business on his own account, was
the Strengthening out of Argentina's
finances, and he also raised China's
big loan after her defeat by Japan.
He negotiated at least three state
loans for Mexico, while lands as far
apart as Sweden, Uruguay and the
United States have benefited enor-
mousfy by his financial assistance.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
How Frederick w. Hollis Brought
About the Adoption of an Amer
lean Plan by The Hague
Conference.

The secretary and counsel Of the
American delegation to the first peace
conference at The Hague, called in
1893 at the instance of the car, was
the tate George Frederick William
Hollis, who, for many years prior to
his death, enjoyed q large German
American law practice in New York
city Mr. Hollis was especially quail
fed to act as the delegations secre-
tary and counsel. partly through his
ability as lawyer and his familiarity
with international law, partly by rea-
son of the very cordial relations he
had established at the German court
the year before and partly because
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
A Sons Commitment.

His incessant work, his avoidance
of all rest and recreation and his rig
orous self-denial made Joseph Pulit-
ger. in his days in harness, the de-
spair of his family.
In this connection a pretty story is
told about the famous journalists son
Ralph. Mr. Pulitzer had refused TO
take a holiday, and Mrs. Pulitzer ex-
Did you ever know your father to
do anything because 1t was pleaant?'
Yes, once-when he married you,
the young man gracefully replied.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
Woman Confederate Officer,

A tablet marking the spot formerly
occupied by the old Robertson hospi-
tai, at which Confederate soldiers were
nursed during the civil war, will be
unveiled by Captain Sallie L. Temp
kins, who was the only woman to
whom a commission was issued by the
Confederate government and who was
in charge Of the hospital. She is now
seventy-seyen years of age and resides
IN Richmond, Va
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
Almost Landed.

She had talked for ten minutes with
out break.
But what were you going to say,
Regulus, when l interrupted your
she asked.
'fBellatrix," said the young man,
looking at his watch and grabbing his
hat, 81 was going to ask you to marry
me, but I shall have to put that of
until the next time. l have less than
three minutes to catch the last train.
Good night"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19

around the house with the aid of a
cane, but the improvement went no
further. Finally my husband brought
home a box Of Doan's Kidney Pills.
1t was surprising how quickly they re-
lieved me and how soon was cured.
For three years my cure has been
permanent"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. so cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. 7.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
Are You w eak, All
Run , own /?

This condition is Directly caused BY
bad blood. When the Eood is made gich
and pure By Hoods Ssrasaparilla, you
VIII feel strong and cheerful; it will pet
new life into yonr veins, Rew vigor into
your muscles; give you sharper appetite
and good digestion: make you look better,
sleep better and feel better; will make
the hardest work lighter and the darkest
day brighter Facts! Thousands confirm
them Get Hoods today.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
Cats Tiqerish Nature.

A shocking affair in which a domes
tic cat displayed tigerish qualities &C.
CURED at Ayr recently. A woman
named Mrs. John Scott had occasion
to go message and left a child, six
weeks old, In the house. On her re-
turn she was Mortified to discover that
the cat had eaten the small finger of
the child's left hand, and had com
menced on the next finger.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
Truly Honorable Degree.

Quoting a congratulatory telegram
sent to a citizen of that city who has
been conspicuous in communal and
charitable work, the Denver Outlook
saws. Your heart has ever beaten In
sympathy with the suffering. Your
hand has ever been open in response
TO appeal for succor and relief, a true
soldier in the service of humanity;
IN appreciation of your life's work,
the high school of humanity confers
upon you, on this occasion, the high
est degree, the ancient and honorable
degree of Phi. D., 'Doer of Philan-
throphy.'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
THERE'S the Rub.

Well" said the optimistic boarder,
there's one thing about our boarding
house; you can eat as much as you
like there
"Of course; same as ours" replied
the pessimistic one, you can eat as
much as you like, but there's never
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19
Old Houses

Old houses have a far larger com
merciaI value than their owners al
ways remember. Millions weI-snown
observation is his "Areopagitiea,c AL
most as we'll kill a man as d good
book applies not a little TO a COED old
building which is not only book but
a unique manuscript that has ne fel-
low.-Adeiress by Thomas Hardy
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-19

with inf a m N a tory
rheumatism. My limbs
were swollen, hands
drawn out Of shape
and I was so sensitive
to pain I had to be
turned in sheets. l
was able, at last, I'M
der the best medical
o++oo+io- - o-o-1