The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-10


reserved free. Phone to High School
or 5 on 2s Wabash, for your seats.
pair of gum boots. The other time
was when man named Pease was
going to be executed here. They re-
ferred that appeal to the secretary of
agriculture. Let us now disturb the
senor behind the bar for a subse.
quence of the red wine
Thus soliloquized the consul of
Sore-toe- kangaroo to me and Henry
Horsecollar
"But, Notwithstanding, we hired a
room that afternoon in the Gale de
los Angeles, the main street that runs
along the shore, and put our trunks
there.
I'VE were rubbing the dust off the
machine and getting fixed to start
business the next day, when a big,
fine-looking white man in white
clothes stopped at the door and looked
in. We extended the invitation, and
he walked inside and sized us up.
New York; he says to me finally.
Originally, and from time to time,
l says. Hasn't it rubbed off yet?
Its simple, says he, when you
know how. It's the fit of the vest.
They don't cut vests right anywhere
else Coats maybe, but not vests
THE white man loks at Henry
Horsecollar and hesitates.
Injun,' says Henry; tame Injun.'
'Mellinger,' says the man-'Homer
p. Mellinger. Boys, you're confscated.
You're babes in the wood without
chaperon or referee, and it's my duty
to start you going I'll knock out the
props and launch you proper in the
pellucid water of SOre-toe- kangaroo
You'll have to be christened, and if
you'll come with me I'll break bottle
of wine across your bows, according
to Hoyle.'
Mine and Henry's money was coun.
terfeit. Everything was on Homer F.
Mellinger. That man could find rolls
of bills in his clothes where Hermann
the Wizard couldn't have coniured Out
an omelet. He could have founded
universities and had enough left to
buy the colored vote of his country.
Henry and me wondered what his
graft was. One evening he told us.
Boys says he, I've deceived you.
Instead of a painted butterfly I'm the
hardest worked man in this country.
My job is private secretary to the
president of this republic, and my du-
ties are running it. I'm not head
lined in the bills, but I'm the mustard |
in the salad dressing. There isn't a |
law goes before congress, there isn't |
a concession granted, there isn't an |
import duty levied, but what H. p |
Mellinger he cooks and seasons 1t. In
the front Office | fill the presidents |
and search visiting states
men for dynamite; in the back room
dictate the policy of the government.
Boys, I'm to hold soiree this
evening with a gang of leading citi-
zens, and / want your assistance. You
bring the musical corn shelter and
give the affair the ouside appearance
Of a function. There's important busi-
ness on hand but it mustn't show. I
can talk to you people. I've been
panied for years on account of not
having anybody to blow off and brag
%. / get homesick sometimes, and
I'd swap the entire perquisites of
office for just one hour to have a
stein and a caviare sandwich some
where on Thirty-fourth street, and
stand and watch the street cars go
~, and smell the peanut roaster at
I'D Giuseppe's fruit stand
Yes, said I, there's the caviare at
Billy Renfrow's cafe, corner Of Thir-
y-fourth and"
God knows, it, iterrupts Mellin-
,er, and if you'd told me you knew
BILLY Renfrow Id have invented tons
# ways of making you happy. Billy
vas my side kicker in New York
that is man who never knew what
rocked was Here l am working
honesty for a graft, but that man
)ses money on it. Carrambos l get
ick at times of this country Every
hings rotten. From the executive
own to the coffee pickers, they're
lotting to down each other and skin
heir friends. If mule driver takes
If his hat to an official, that man
cures it out that he's a popular idol,
nd sets his pegs to stir up a reyOlu.
on and upset the administration. It's
ne of my little chores as private sec
stary to smell out these revolutions
nd affix the kibosh before they break
ut and scratch the paint off the gov
property That's why I'm !
own here now in this mildewed coast 7
,wn. The governor of the district
nd his crew are plotting to uprise.