davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-02-27

The only time that a man is really
old is when he ceases to ask, What s
the scorer and with women it's when
she stops thinking of clothes.
The Washington times., 1911-02-27

Some men have no more tact than to
praise pretty girl to the mother of a
painfully plain one.
The Washington times., 1911-02-27
The Optirnist

A man is fool to rush into things,
but it's astonishing how the women
get away with 1t.
Don't get mad because you can't tel
folks what you think of them. Remem-
Der they might return the compliment.
Don't fret because your neiGhbOr
hasn't returned your snow shovel. You
have an excuse to refuse him li1e lawn
mower.
Don't growI about woman's incon-
sistency. If she we're always consistent
you wouldn't have anything to kick
about.
Don't commit fo!lies. Profit by those
of somebody else.
Until you have reached the grave
don't turn to look back.
Don't fuss about small difficulties
One can't gather roses without being
pricked by the thorns.
hope.
Keep up your faith in humanity. The
hobo who struck you for a dime may
have wanted to contribute to foreign
missions.
Don't revile your neighbor. You may
need to borrow his garden hose next
season.
Some men have no more tact than to
praise pretty girl to the mother of
painfully plain one.
The only time that man is really
old is when he ceases to ask, Whats s
the scorer and with a women it's when
she stops thinking of clothes.
Don't fret II you oversleep. They
say it's good for digestion to run early
in the morning. .-..
The Washington times., 1911-02-27

Don't revile your neighbor. You ma!
need to borrow his garden hose mex
season.
The Washington times., 1911-02-27

Keep up your faith in humanity. The
hobo who struck you for dime may
have wanted to contribute to foreign
missions.
The Washington times., 1911-02-27

Even a man who is a failure ma!
hope.
The Washington times., 1911-02-27

been given a good reason by the aunt
herself.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
DRUGS USED IN TROPICS ARE THESE TWO GIRLS oNE7

The hardest problem legal authori-
ties in Berlin have had to solve in
years has resulted from the brief i'm
prisonment of the Sisters Black"
who are joined like the famous Si-
amese twins A warrant for alleged
breach of contract was issued for one
of the sisters, who We're appearing at
Berlin music hall. The court officer
wasted no time in The embarrassing
situation that confronted him. but took
both girls to Jail, A few hours later
the music hall manager made the
necessary deposit and secured the
girls liberty. Now the sister against
whom there was no warrant is suing
for Illegal imprisonment Legal ex-
perts agree that unless the court de-
cides that the two girls are in reality
only one somebody will have to pay
dearly. One sister is married and the
mother of a baby two years old.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
Professors of Economy Differ in
Their Opinions.
Prof. Thomas Nixon Carter, Head of
Economics at Harvard, Discovers
That $50 Is Fair Estimate
on Average Person.

Cambridge, Mass-The California
state board of health recently fixed
the value of baby at $4,000, sum
considered far too low by Prof. Edwin
r. A. Seligman of Columbia univers-
ity, who declares that a baby less
than year old represents an eco
nomic value of at least $15O,000. Now
comes Prof Thomas Nixon Carver,
who is at the head of the chair Of
economics at Harvard, who using a
hypothetical case discovers that 500
and that "it would be losing invest
ment to buy baby at that price"
How much is a baby worth?" asks
Professor Carver
"Of course. the first thing to be de-
cided in the discussion of this kind, >"
he says, 'is what is meant by the
value of baby. To its own parents
after they have got used to 1t a baby
is an exceedingly precious thing, but
their estimate is not necessarily the
same as that of their neighbors, or
that OF society in general. For ex-
ample, certain man is reported to
have said that he regarded each Of
his children as worth S100000,000, but
that he would not give cents for an
other one. Therefore, we must ex-
clude from consideration the value Of
existing babies to their parents.
One way of finding the real eco
nomic value of a man is to find out
how much the community would lose
If he were to die or to emigrate. The
community would lose the value of
his labor. but it would save what he
consumed. In case he was consuming
more than he was producing by his
own individual labor the community
would gain by his death. In other
words. such a man is worth less than
nothing.
This brings out the fatal defect in
a great deal of the reasoning regard
ing the economic value Of the man,
viz: The failure to take account Of
the cost of keeping him. The man
who earns $500 a year and consumes
exactly that sum is worth exactly
nothing. How much would you give
for a COW that would produce S1OO
worth Of milk and $40 worth of veal
~ a year and consume s11O worth of
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
inscriptions Which Heretofore Have
Defied savants Near Decipher.
ing by Recent Find.

Cairo.-An important discovery has
been made Professor Sayce, who
is engaged in digging on the site of
Meroe, in the Sudan. Many ancient
inscription in the Sudan are written
in the hieroglyphics Of Egypt But
many others are in a language that
has. up to now. successfully resisted
all attempts at Identification. This
mysterious writing is known as the
Meroitic. Its pictorial characters are
similar to the ancient Egyptian hero
glyphics. and is styled "demotic al
phabetic writing" DR.. H. Brugsch
and DR.. H. Schafer have tried to de-
cipher 1t in vain. but Professor Sayce
writes that ne has just obtained some
Egyptian translations of Merotic
words Thus. owing to this discovery,
the unknown Merotic script may be
read by Egyptian hieroglyphists for
the first time, Just as the key to the
latter was obtained from the demotic
and Greek translations on the Rosetta
fthe.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
PLAN TOISOLATES SNORERS

and lungs are affected by the large
quantities of smoke they inhale.
The members of a fire company all
sleep in one large room and when
ever there is member who has pecu-
llarly strong snoring powers the other
laddies often find it difficult to get
needed rest. Cases have come up
where the offending fremen found
their cots transferred to a rear room.
where they We're less likely to dis
turb the peace of the night.
Now the suggestion has been made
to Marshal Seyferlich that one of two
things should be done. The snorers
should all be made members of the
same company where they could have
no excuse for grumbling If kept awake
at night, or provision should be made
at the firehouses for separate quar-
ters for snorers, so that the other
members can have peace. The de-
velopment of the snoring habit with
some of the firemen is responsible for
the latest propositions and also for
bringing out the fact that 1t is not
considered trivial subject Of COM
plant, though there is nothing per
sonal in the matter AS rule firemen
who snore are among the bravest.
hardest workers and most popular
members of the department
At one engine house a string is tied
to the foot of loud snorer and the
other firemen keep jerking it during
the night to prevent the man going to
sleep before they do. At still another
house the champion snorer is forced
to sleep near the pole hole, so that
the man on watch in the station be-
low can prod him during the night to
prevent him from awakening the
other members of the company.
In the fire department snoring is not
considered physical defect, for many
of the men who show the most agility
at fires are snorers who can easily
scale buildings.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
BIGGEST BIRDS
NEST

The biggest birds nest in the world,
not excepting the stork's, is built by
the African grosbeak. 1t is really
hundred nests or more bound together
with closely interviewer sticks, vines
and strands of coarse grass, and is not
built by a single pair of birds, but by
colony of them. II is of such enor-
nous size that at little distance 1t
is often mistaken for one of the ma
tive huts built in the trees so frequent
ly found in wild tropical countries
where man-eating animals abound, and
the only way to sleep in safety is to
roost high"
The birds usually select thorn
tree, probably because of the protec.
tion afforded by the sharp long thorns
against marauders. All around the
nest the roof of sticks, thatched with
dried grass. projects to let the rain
run off. A deep fringe of grass hangs
from this cornice like curtain to keep
out any stray drops. These great nests
are added to from year to year. each
pair of mated birds building on the
main nest. Sometimes the nest be-
comes too heavy, and the branch
breaks or the great mass of sticks
falls to the ground, destroyed by its
own weight. The grosbeak Is no larg
er than an English sparrow and just
as gregarious.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27


Quinine stands first on the list of
drugs for the tropics; EPSON salts
next: then comes calomel, castor oil,
tincture of iron, or liquor OF perchlor-
ide of iron, opium. and brandy large
majority OF the drugs most used are
those we'll known to the doctors of
two generations ago. One medical
missionary has worked out the guam
titles of IL drugs that would be neces-
sary for the treatment of 10000 pa
tients in year. He estimates that
the approximate cost would be 1925.
His list includes 80 pounds of quinine.
300 pounds of Epson salts, and 200
gross of a tonic pill. On some rivers
of the Malay states are dispensary
boats that reach distant points, where
quinine and other necessary medicines
are distributed by the government to
the malara-stricken natives, who
would be without remedies except for
this charitable measure for relief.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
BABY'S REAL VALUE

feed while she was doing It? The
man who earns $500 in year and
consumes $500 of it, using the other
$100 to employ toolmaker in max
ing tools-that is. invests 1t in some
form of productive capitals worth
s100 a year to the community. BY
reason Of his existence the commu-
nifty has 5000 worth of productive
power or tools more than 1T would
otherwise have had
The only logical conclusion is that
no person is of an economic value
whatever unless he is by his own in
dividual efforts performing some kind
of serviceable labor, and of these only
those Of a positive value whose serv-
iceable labor is worth more than the
food clothing. house room. furniture,
street car seats and other consumable
goods and services which they are
using up.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
sTEEPLEJACk's CLOSE CALL

A steeplejack William Smith, of
Cincinnati, had narrow escape from
death lately while putting coat OF
paint on the top OF tall smokesctack.
Smith lost his hold and before he
could regain it plunged 40 feet to the
roof of the building. struck the slate
with a resounding thud and bounded
into the air, alighting on his feet like
an acrobat. A number of workmen
who We're on the roof at the time
rushed TO Smiths assistance and were
astounded to see him walk several
feet to where his tobacco pipe lay and
calmly pick 1t up. He was but slight
ly bruised
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
DOG SAVES BOYS FROM DEATH

Two fourteen-year-cl boys, Carl
Lewis and Sherman Goodyear, Of
Charlestown. w. Va, were saved from
death a few days ago by their dog.
While on hunting trip the boys en-
tered an abandoned mine and were
lost. One of their dogs returned home
and led rescue party to the mine
where the youthful nimrods were
found almost frozen to death They
had burned their clothing for fuel,
were without food and in a semi-con-
scious condition. One dog remained
with the boys until they were rescued
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
PORK AND BEANS ARE BEST
Sir Hudson Maxim Praises American
Dish and Offers to Teach Women
How to Cqqk Them. w

London-The food controversy in
London has ELECTED from Sir Hudson
Maxim glowing letter in praise OF
what he calls the American national
dish-pork and beans Sir Hudson
closes his tribute to the best dish in
the world" by offering to give cooking
lessons at his laboratory to English
housewives who do not know how to
prepare this nutritious food. His let
ter states:
mo food in existence is so benefl-
cal to man as pork and beans. 1t
has been proven scientifically that
pork and beans excel cod liver oil as
a stimulating food in cases of con.
SUMPTION
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
WORSHIP THE GODDESS KALI


Robert Dulwich, who has travelled
extensively In the lesser known re-
gons of the Himalaya, gives an inter
esting account Of native sect known
as the Thrays who have some curious
practices. The sect are worshipers
of the goddess Kali. They believe
either in selfdestruction or in the
sacrifice of one of their fingers to ap-
pease the deity. Thus it comes about
that when the eldest member of fam
lily is married the unhappy mother is
expected to cut off the first two joints
of the last two fingers of her hand
Princesses and other smart people in
this remarkable sect are allowed to
offer substitute of finger joints,
modelled in gold. -
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
Men in Different Organizations Who
Make unearthIy Noises In Sleep
Are to Be Grouped.

Chicago. Chicago will have a
unique organization of fire fighters If
suggestions made by Fire Marshal
Charles F. Seyferlich are carried out
by the head of the department The
proposal is nothing less than that all
OF the confirmed snorers of the fire de-
partment be gathered together as
members Of the same company and
quartered In the same f1rehouse. A
man to qualify must prove his ability
to snore and snore loudly.
What there is about the work of a
fire fighter that fosters and encour-
ages the snoring habit would be hard
TO say, but the fact remains that
among firemen are often found men
who can always shake the putty out
of the windows when they once start
snoring. Possibly their bronchial tubes
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
CANARY THAT REALLY TALKS

AT the National Cage Bird Show
held recently at the Crystal Palace in
London, the exhibits numbered $500.
The bird which attracted the most at
tention was talking canary. the
property of Mrs. Ives of Thundersley,
Essex. 1t is claimed that this wonder
ful bird can sing, talk and whistle,
and 1t is said to be fond of the
phrases My dear boy" Joey, you
are pretty boy" Kiss your missus, :"
and Joey, you are dear beauty 1t
was reported some years ago that
Queen Alexandra had canary that
talked, but this is the first time on
record that any talking canary has
been entered in a bird show.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
cows EAT RAILROAD SPIKES

Lehigh county CPennsylvania) COWS
seem to have developed a curious ap-
petite, which cannot be accounted for,
in view of the quantities of juicy fod-
der and ensilage on hand to feed them
At about the same time recently COW
owned by John Gritty of Weisenberg
township and one belonging to P. NJ
Bastian of Wescoesville, six miles
apart, died suddenly Post-mortems
showed that each had swallowed a
railroad spike.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
THUMB SCREW FOR BEAUTIES

China is not the only country where
the fair sex voluntarily undergo mild
forms of torture In order to bring
themselves into conformity with con.
ventional ideas of beauty In America
and Europe contrivances much like
the ancient thumb screws are used to
give the desired filbert shape to the
nails on womens hands and while
they infiict some suffering, they are
said to be effective.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
snceze Powder pisturbs 1900 ),

New York.-some person with no
art in his soul and less humanity
brought distress to New York's four
hundred at the Metropolitan opera
house the other night by distributing
package of sneeze powder in the
standing space behind the first row or
orchestra chairs on the main floor.
Within few minutes hundreds of men
and women We're coughing and
sneezing and within few minutes
more most of them found 1t necessary
to hurry out in the lobby for air.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
Abolish Birch at Eton.

London.-The birch has been abol-
ished at Elton college so far as the
upper form boys are concerned. A
cane may be used instead over the
clothing. The lower form boys, how
ever, still may be birched on the bare
flesh. The use of the switching block
at Elton dates back to 1910.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
KEY TO EGYPTIAN HISTORIES

Professor Sayce has also discovered
the names of some new kings. Some
of them call themselves kings of
Egypt, and as they belong to the OBJ
scure period of the twenty-seventh
dynasty. the inscriptions are expect
ed to throw some light on Egyptian
history.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
MILLIONS OF COB PIPES

Corn cob pipes continue to bring
fame to Missouri and money to the
five towns which make a speciality OF
manufacturing them. This unique in
dustry, while still in its infancy, net
ted seven factories $45S,41S in 1910.
The production Of 1890 amounted to
26,455,54S pipes.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
Or. Ellot,s Secret.

New York" Moderation in eating.
a full allowance Of sleep and no regu-
lar use Of any stimulant" This is
the answer given by Charles w. Eliot,
president emeritus of Harvard, in ex-
planning his good health at II years.
DR. Eliot also said he had the habit
of taking some exercise and some
fresh air every day.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27

hydroplane
in a strange
floats about 20 feet supporting the the machine
is rovide for
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
Find WashInston's Sword.

Albany. N. Y-George Washington,s
sword has been recovered from the
ruins Of the New York state library.
The weapon is little damaged. It was
at first believed that the sword had
been demolished by the heat and
Games.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
Gives Sweden s2ao.ooo.

Stockholm.-And Carnegie has
donated $230,000 for hero fund for
Sweden. 1t is announced here.
The hero fund for Sweden is tho
sixth Of its kind established by Mr..
Carnegie. In February he gave $780,
600 for the same purpose to Denmark.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27

Among the natives Of Paraguay
when girl comes of age the event is
celebrated by n big feast, the chief
feature of which is the puphek dance
by the women. 1t takes it's name from
the lunches of deer hoofs attached to
the long poles which the dancers car
ry. When struck on the ground they
produce loud jangle to which the
dancers, numbering from twenty to
thirty, keep step.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-04-27
College Boys Ask Work.

Topeka, Kan-More than 100 east
ern college boys have already inquired
of Charles Harris, director of the state
free employment bureau, as to the
prospects for employment in the
wheat fields the coming summer.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1911-04-26
RATS BLAMED FOR
A DUBLIN BLAZE
Home of Mrs. A. Herbst Al
most Totally Destroyed
by a Fire Today.
palladium Specially

Dublin, Ind. April 26.-Fire of an
unknown origin about $3.50 O'Clock this
morning almost totally destroyed the
residence of Mrs. A. Herbst. one block
north of the National Road on East
Foundry street, entailing loss of pro-
badly more than $1,000. The gnawing
OF mathces by rats seems to be the
only plausible theory for the cause of
the FIRE. There was no insurance
either on the dwelling or on the
household effects.
The fire was first noticed by Mrs.
Herbst in the kitchen, the flames
seeming to play about the ceiling. An
alarm was Immediately sounded and a
large number of residents and the
bucket brigade responded. 1t was soon
evident that the fire had secured too
great headway to be checked and that
the house would be destroyed. so all
efforts were made to save the house
hold goods. Only a small number
We're destroyed.
1t required strenuous work for a
time to prevent the fire from spread
ing to adjacent houses.
Mrs. Herbst announces she will re-
build.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1911-04-26
TRACTION COMPANY
ONLY ASKS LITTLE
Merely Wants to Keep Their
Tracks Where They Are
and Not Be Assessed.

John J. Appel, vice president. and
G. X. Jeffries, general manager of the
Terre Haute. Indianapolis. and East
ern traction company was before the
county commissioners on Wednesday
afternoon and altered their request for
the modification of the improvement
to the National Road from West Fifth
estreet to the Wayne-Center township
line. The company's proposition is
substantially that the improvement be
made at the cost of the taxpayers of
the township and that the company
be given right OF way, eight feet
wide, within the south curbing. and
that it not be assessed any part of the
Improvement.
The commissioners said that such a
proposition justified their refusal to
modify the specifications in any man
ner. They had not taken final action
as a body at press time.
The company had originally asked
that it be permitted to run down the
center Of the highway from the city
limits to Easthaven avenue, and from
there to the western end OF the i'm
provement on the south side, but with.
in the south curb line.
IL the modified request of the com.
pany was granted it would not have to
move its tracks more than two feet at
the most. All the expense the com
pany wants to meet on the improve
ment is for the crushed stone between
its tracks. The roadway. according to
the contract which j. f. Cronin has
is to be forty eight feet wide with the
company's tracks on the outside oi
the south curb line. With the com
pany's tracks within the curb line
eight feet of the roadway would be.
come the right of way of the traction
company, leaving approximately thir.
ty-eight feet to the north of the track
for travel.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1911-04-26
mo MORE PAINS
IN MY BACK

For Kidney, Liver and Blood Troubles
MOnnett's afNn-dO-ifa are Strongly.
Guaranteed by COnkey Drug Co.
indianapolis, Nov. z, 1910.
During the past three years I
have suffered severely from pains
in my back. No medicine seemed
to do me much good. until one day
l decided to try Monnett'5 Kan-do-
Its, recommended for the kidneys
and blood. The relief was almost
immediate and after taking one
box l was well and my pains have
stopped entirely.
VIM. Smock, 1890 Talbot Ave.
Monnett's kan-do-its have a strong
beneficial effect on the liver. kidneys
and urinary tract. With these organs
working as they should work. most
diseases are easily overcome. The give
prompt and permanent benefit in con-
stomach troubles, liver and
kidney ailments including most cases
of diebetes), rheumatism. skin and
blod diseases Gncluding the worst
forms). They have no equal for puri-
flying the blood, restoring lost nerve
force and building up and invigorating
the entire body.
Conkey Drug Co. will sell you a fif-
teen days treatment of KAN do its for
so cents and viii! refund your money if
YOU do not feel like IA new and differ
ent person after taking them.
If you live where kan-do-its are not
on sale, and wish sample. send &c
stamp to Monnett Medicine Co. 500 n.
New Jersey St. Indianapolis, Ind.