davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-03-19
WANT AID
L E 7 7 6 r. [ D S I

FOR SALE-TwO work horses, 2 two
year-old colts and one team of mules
Call at 529 S. 5th. Phone 1885
lie O d
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-03-19

WANTED-TO trim your trees and
vines. Address Trimmer. care Pal
ladium. I4-9t
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-03-19

Toys; must DO six.
teen. City Bowling Alley. 23-tf
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
TEACH THE SICK TO !UGGLE
Manual Dexterity Is Also Beneficial
to the Brain Worker of
Sedentary Habits.

Speaking OF conjuring, the allied art
Of juggling is one of the most anus
ing and valuable of diversions, es.
pecially to the sedentary. Many
physicians become expert in Juggling.
but it is to their patients that it is
most useful.
The bedridden, If they retain the
use of their hands, may begule many
a weary hour in learning to keep
three or four tennis balls in the air
at once and in balancing sticks and
other simple objects on the forefinger
or on the chin.
For the brainworker who does not
care for walking there is no better
recreation. 1t has often occurred to
US that in cases where there is any
reason to fear some form of paraly.
Els the educating of disused cerebral,
cerebellar and spinal centers by the
rapid juggling might serve to act as
an efficient preventive.
We do not wish to claim too much
for manual education of this kind. but
we may point out that it tends to
perfect nervous poise and that no Jug
Cling trick can be properly done If the
performer INDUCES in dissipation even
so mild as beer and cigarettes. -Amer'
lean Medicine.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
ARTIFICIAL LACE IN FRANCE
Mechanism and Chemistry Furnish
Product That Wears Better
Than Real Article.

Mechanism and chemistry combined
have furnished France with new
produce-artihcial lace. The general
public has heard little about 1t. but
the lace manufacturers of Lyons, Ca
lais and Caudry have for some time
past been much perturbed over this
unexpected competition to which they
will have to submit
Artificial lace is in effect a manu-
facture of a very simple nature. There
is no weaving employed in its produc-
ton. The machine consists in its es-
sential parts of a receptacle contain
ing a upro-ammoniacal solution of
cellulose, a metallic cylinder upon
which is engraved the negative of the
design and a coagulation vat.
A rotatory motion is given to the
cylinder. over which flows the solu-
ton which, entering the interstices Of
the engraved pattern, fixes itself i'm
mediately in the coagulative liquid.
out Of which energies the texture
ready to be dyed and dressed.
Artificial lace has a beautiful ap-
pearance. It is homogeneous and IN
alterable; will wear better and is less
combustible than ordinary lace. Wa
ter does not affect it. Any desired
pattern can be obtained by engraving
a new cylinder.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19

Now he raised his head carefully.
closed one eye to get better view
of affairs. and sad: "Undoubtly,
Misher Grant. Now that we're all to-
geezer once more, ooys, lesh make It
a Quartette. iii shing tenor: one,
two. three, four!" on again on the
lulIabyl
1t took all our ingenuity, and Bunch
and l expended enough diplomacy to
avert a European war before we final
ly landed the Underwater Twins in my
little bungalow across the road from
Doves Nest Villa.
We turned the gas down low and
left the two celebrants to snore it
away.
They won't move muscle before
morning" l whispered so I'll leave
an early call and be here to help
hoist them to their feet" Then I
locked the front door and we started
for the other house.
wait, Bunch!" l said. suddenly:
we've forgotten something. II I'm
Gle Peter doesn't show up pretty soon
Aunt Martha win be worried to death.
This is his first offense. and he'll be
SO confused when he does show ND
that he won't be able to square III"
Il thought of that" Bunch answer.
ed. land l figured It out that I'd duck
back to town and send her a telegram
stating that Uncle Peter would be de-
tanned all night by an important meet.
ing at the Waldorf"
Fine, Bunchl" agreed. You're
always Observation-Disclosures
you arei Make the Telegram good
and strong and that will square the
whole good-by!"
Bunch was of for the depot like a
streak and | went home and cooked
up few excuses for his hurried de.
parture. II was then about o'clock
Nine o'clock came and no telegram
and I could see that Aunt Martha was
beginning to get the worries. II was
so unusual for Uncle Peter to be away
without her. Clara j. was the life OF
the party, and she leased the old lady
into better spirits.
VIA " NrAtNA anu sim Ait LElNAl III
Aunt Martha now had Uncle Peter
waylaid by robbers somewhere and ]
could see cloudy weather in that
household pretty soon II Bunch didn't
get busy with the wires.
A few minutes later # seemed 10 me
/ l heard family the sound OF breaking
glass OF in the darkness somew here
To quiet Aunt Martha suggested
that possibly Uncle Peter might be on
the 1909 train and I'd walk down the
road bit to meet him.
Just outside the gate I did meet
him. trembling slightly. but under q
big brace.
John, is that you?" the old fellow
asked oh! I'm so grateful 10 YOU
| don't know what came over me this
afternoon. It's so unusual for me to
do such thing-oh! how my head
aches and I'm so siekl When I woke
up on the sofa in your house a few
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
FEAT OF A CARRIER PIGEON
carries on One Trip Forty Thousand
Messages Averaging Twenty
Words Each.

For more than two thousand years
carrier pigeons have been used to car
~ messages when no other means suf-
need. and during the siege Of Paris.
when 1853 birds were sent out from the
doomed city, one of ne birds perform
ed the almost incredible feat Of carry
ing to the outside world. on one trip,
no less than forty thousand messages,
averaging twenty words each. This
was eight hundred thousand words, or
the equivalent of five or six average
novels.
This marvel was accomplished by
means of microscopic photography, the
messages being first printed with ordi.
nary type and then photographed and
Photographed, until they had been
reduced several hundred diameters.
The final photographs were taken on
films or pellicles Of collodion, each OF
which, about two inches square, con-
tained fifty thousand words. A dozen
of these films, rolled up in a quill.
weighed one-twenty-eighth of an ounce.
The messages could, of course, be read
with microscope. without the neces-
sity of rephotographing and enlarging.
Under favorable conditions, and for
comparatively short distances, pigeons
have carried as much as three-quar-
tiers of an ounce. Using the photo-re,
duction method, it would therefore bB
possible for a single bird to carry mes
| sages equal in words to no fewer than
one hundred and twenty ordinary vol
umes.-Harper' Weekly.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
SHOPPING ORDEAL IN BURMA
Requires a zseat Effort &c Get the
Shop Women TO Show
Their Goods.

You may walk through the muddy
old lzz-kets Of RangoOn for hours at
time or through the brand new bazaar
at Mandalay without any Of the sales
people taking the slightest notice OF
you as a possible purchaser of their
wares. The dear little ladies sit cross
legged upon long tables in front OF the
high cupboards containing their goods
They are placidly smoking or chatting
Or painting their faces or braiding
heir hair. They are not attending to
business in the least
If the European is conspicuously
dressed or presents figure which the
Burman, with his finely trained sense
Of humor, considers at all ridiculous
then gay ripple Of laughter passes
along the stalls, and then indeed the
would-be customer is noticed; but
otherwise the tourist is an object OF
no interest whatever
It requires a great effort to get a
Burmese shop woman (they are near
~ all women) to show you her silks,
and when at last she has spread her
merchandise broadcast upon the table
and you are revealing in the Illusion
that you are living in the middle of a
rainbow, with a chance of holding fast
to some of its colors, she will ask her
price (which is seldom more than one
rupee too much) and will stick to it
like glue.
She is an fndolent lady in many
ways wh0 loves a quiet life, and she
has determined that her most COM
Portable course is not to haggle in the
market place. So you may make up
your mind that bargaining and persua-
sion are useless arts to practice in
Burma, however valuable they may
be Observation-Disclosures Magazine.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
Origin of Royal Literary Fund.

The Royal Literary Fund owed its
inception to one of those tragedies Of
poverty which have been only too
common in the history Of literature
In 1888 Floyer Sydenham, an eminent
Creek scholar of Wadham college, Ok
ford, was arrested for some trifiing
debt due for his frugal meals and
thrown into prison, where he died in
want and misery when nearly eighty
years of age.
His sad story becoming known Gre
ated widespread sympathy, the prac-
teal outcome of which was the es-
Enlistment of fund to assist needy
literary men. It's chief promoter was
David Williams. a Welsh Noncon-
formist minister. and friend Of Ben
!amin Franklin.-Pall Mall Gazette.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19

The eight-year-old son of a Balt-
more physician was playing in his IA
theirs Office with a friend during the
absence Of the doctor, when suddenly
the first lad threw open a closet door
and disclosed to the terrified gaze Of
his little friend an articulated skeie-
ton.
When the visitor had sufficiently re-
covered from his shock to stand the
announcement, the doctors son ex.
planned that his father vas extremely
proud OF that skeleton
is he?" asked the other. Why"
i d.. know was the answer:
~naybe IL vs. his first patient. -
Harper's Magazine.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
A Difference in Customs.

The little daughter of a Philadel.
phia minister had invited a friend of
the same age to take supper at the
house After they were all at the
table the minister said short prayer,
which ceremony his little one whis-
pered 70 her friend was known as
saying grace"
That's not the way my pa says
grace, yentured the child to the min
lister. when he had concluded.
Isn't it?" asked he. smiling. How
does your pa say grace?
"Oh, he comes into the dining room,
sits down, bangs his fist on the table
and yells:
Good heavens, what a supper! "
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
John Henry
PILGRIMS | !
By GEORGE V. HOBART
PILGRIMS

on Us now, Dixie waving a suffering
arm in an effort to beat time, while
they both cut loose with the song.
Then suddenly Uncle Peter and
Dixie paused They had to. Bunch
and had blocked right of way.
"Ish ou'rageousl" Uncle Peter CUR
gled; Outrageous to shink two ge'men
can't walk public thu'fare without be-
ing" then his spluttering lamps
recognized me and he fell into my
arms joyfully.
John, ish proudesh moment Of my
life," Uncle Peter hiccoughed. "Mush
present friend Of mine Misher Law
renee, permit me in'erdoosh you to
my nefoo, my nefoo, John Henry,
Misher Lawrence! Won big shum Of
money at track today, John. Mosh
incredible shum of money, Johnl
Misher Lawrence shed only thing to
do under circumstances was to shelle-
brate vict'ry! Misher Lawrence besht
shellebrator / ever met-who'sh your
friend. John?"
why, Uncle Peter, this is Bunch;
you remember Bunch, don't your"
answered.
Glad she you, Bussh!" the old fell
low came back; "mush present you to
friend OF mine. Misher Lawrence,
permit me inerdoosh you my nefoo's
friend. Misher Bussh! Won big shum
money at track today, Misher Bussh.
Mosh extraordinary event roy life.
Firsh time ever won sush a tremen-
jush shum in all my life. Misher
Lawrence shed constitution United
Shtatesh demandsh sbellebration,
amt ash so. Misher Lawrence?"
All this time, Dixie. with one hand
on Uncle Peters shoulder, had been
swinging gently to and fro. like the
pendulum on grRndfather's clock.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19

through the twilight we beheld two
Torch-bearers coming towards US arm
in arm. oscillating from one side of
the road to the other. and trying to
sing, Has Anybody Here Seen
Kelly" at the top of their wine-cov-
cred voices
As the Woody brothers drew near
their forms took on familiar outlines
and then all of sudden my heart
went down into my shoes and stayed
there, for | recognized them both.
At the same moment Bunch ex-
claimed. Great Scott, John! it's I'm
Gle Peter and Dixie Lawrence! petri-
fed and pickled wouldn't that ring
the alarm"
Uncle Peter soused 10 the bald spot!
Uncle Peter, the sedate and dignified,
sewed up TO the eyebrowsl Uncle
Peter, the model of propriety, full OF
benzine to the BOBBY hatch!
was ready to take the count.
The two Cafe Trimmers halted
again about ten feet away from us
and could hear Dixie saying, "Misher
Grant. you've won my eshteem and af-
-affec-affeshum. shakel theresa
bond of union between ushn never be
broken. Misher Grant never be brok-
en-. Lesh try nnd another saloon so'sh
cement zish frien ship-shakel
We could see Uncle Peter vainly
trying to focus Dixie with one eye, and
being unsuccessful in his efforts the
old fellow placed HIS head on the 9TH
er boozeologer's shoulder and bleated :
Has Anybody Here Seen Kelly?"
Uncle Peter. who for years hadn't
swallowed enough naphtLa to float an
olive. webbing at twilight through
the country lane. with all his lights
lit, good and oryide!
What would the astonished and
fearful Clara ]. say! What would
the overwhelmed Aunt Martha think
to see her paragon of all the virtues
with his feet in the trough!
Bunch was too dumfounded to
speak. while ! just stood there and
batted my eyes in the expectation Of
waning NY NNGA9 NtAAuNSs RAA TIA tL
the wake
The picture was there all right.
Two Parsifal pilgrims returning from
the feast, humping the noodles togeth
er while they hunted for barber shoT
mirrors. and hitting up the Wagner
There's only one thing to do"
whispered hurriedly to Bunch. I'VE
must get them quietly in my house
across the road from Doves Nest VII.
la It's almost ready for occupancy
but Clara ]. and l aren't going to
move in for few weeks. II we can
get them In there and asleep, possibly
we can prevent news Of the disas-
ter from reaching the watchers in the
old homestead"
It's the goods" Bunch whispered
back and wen keep this drama OF
intemperance away from the women
folks If we have to sandbag the Bulge
Brothers, Syphon and Squirt"
The two bubble-breakers bore dow
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
Active Frenchmen.

A study of the activities of the
French population based on the last
census has just been published. It
shows that s0,72O,S79 persons, fncIud-
ing the army. are engaged in active
pursuits. The figure represents 1913
per cent. OF the population; 1t In
cludes Is.027,000 men, 6S per cent. of
the male population. and 1855. 600
women. or SO per cent. of the females.
Agriculture stin employs 43 per
cent. OF all the inhabitants OF the
country, and more than so per cent
in 50 departments. In IS departments
the population engaged in industrial
pursuits raEs53 from 40 to Ga per
cent. and in l. from Sc 10 40 per cent
Automobile construction occupied
%. 600 persons. and electrical ma
chinery 10000.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
Whore Cleanliness counted.

housekeeper. wishing to change
her baker. recently decided to investi-
gate the conditions under which vari-
Gus kinds of bread were made and
sold Beginning with one of the most
popular bakeries in town, she found
that the loaYes of bread were packed
in large cases for delivery without be-
ing previously wrapped in paper. At
the houses of customers. they were
taken from the cases and put into
bags by hands which not over clean
to start with, had been used in driv-
ing and in other miscellaneous of.
fees. She spoke with the man who
had the contract for delivering the
bread in her part of the city and
asked the man why he cid not have 1t
put into bags at the bakery. His re.
ply was, why. madam. that would
never do at all The bags would get
so dirty that the ladies would refuse
to take therl "--LaFollette's Weekly
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
what a STANDARD LIaht Is.

Two starboard lights" said the
diner to the waiter in a Broadway res
taurant.
The waiter looked over the wine list
and his eye ran down to the liqueurs,
for his two patrons had reached the
post-coffee stake Of their dinner, He
looked blankly at the list He could
see no such cordial.
"Starboard lights. sir?" he asked.
Yes: starboard lights-two-and
hurry"
The waiter sought the maitre d'hotel
and asked what the drink might be.
Creme de menthe," said the i'm
perturbable person. It's what they
call EN- in England"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
STRANGE Idea Of "Eun.D

A new kind Of fun making" was
tnaugurated when there appeared
among the Personals" in each of the
Chicago papers an advertisement
which read: Am now in position to
meet all my creditors. Kindly COM
municate with me-" Then followed
the name and address of man who
was about to be married to an estima-
Bile young woman who, according to
the rumor. was the possessor OF a
substantial fortune. OF course the ad.
vertisement was inserted and paid for
by somebody who suspected that he
or she was humorist, and 1t appears
to open up a new field Of endeavor for
persons who regard it as one of the
inalienable rights of mankind to make
marriage a terror to those who un.
dergo it.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19

Bunch and I felt sore. We had ex
pected to keep Uncle Peter from los
ing his money at the race track by
Disgusting ourselves and persuading
him to lay his money with key
Schwartz, who was acting for US with
our own roll. But Uncle Peter had
won on my own tip-which l thought
was a bum steer-and had got into us
Tor about $4,000.
How about Ikey?" asked Bunch.
Il gave him the balance of the last
remaining thousand for his work, !"
Bunch replied.
His work." echoed.
Yes. his work to keep his face
closed" snapped Bunch ITS bad
enough for US to realize that we're a
pair Of custard pies, but we don't
want the whole world to know it. do
WEI"
Lets go to Ruraldene and think IT,
over" l suggested.
Say, John, II ever look upon that
old mans face again I'll want to bite
his thumb off," snarled Bunch, but aft
er a while we both began TO feel bet
ter and fed to the country.
About six o'clock aunt Martha
quietly informed me mat she had re-
ceived a telegram from Uncle Peter
telling her not to wait dinner for him;
that he would be detained for an hour
or two in town.
After dinner Bunch and l strolled
Off down the road to smoke our cigars
and tell each other how badly we felt.
There we're no determinations, only
sorrow, deep and abiding.
began to think Of all the things
that lost group of money would buy
and grew heartsick.
We had walked about half a mile or
80 in the direction of the depot when
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
PennsxlvanIa Lustlon

Mrs Sophie Schia of Philadelphia
stole a pint Of milk and a loaf Of
bread from a doorstep to feed her
starving son. Her husband died re-
Gently. and she could not get work.
The magistrate sent her 10 the house
of correction for three months. Some
OF the thieves who stole $4,000. 900
In building the Pennsylvania state cap
itol are still free, All but one of the
Pittsburg councilman guilty Of hlching
hundreds Of thousands Of dollars
through bribery and graft escaped
Jail sentences The last gubernatorial
election IN Pennsylvania was stolen in
the Philadelphia tenderloin. And no
body has paid the penalty, A group OF
Philadelphia's leading citizens recent.
" banqueted and eulogized the mayor.
at the very moment when courag aous
Philadelphia newspapers were exuos.
ing unspeakably rotten conditions in
the city government Well-the helm.
less mother Of the starving boy goes
to the workhouse tust tho same.-Bos.
ton Traveller
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
A Bit Of Green.

A woman who wanted a bit of green
for her drawing-room, and was DOT at
racted by the conventional window
box idea. has created a really charming
effect by the use Of a plastic: bracket
on which is placed an ordinary red
clay rot holding an English ivy. The
bracket which was bought at plaster
cast shop for 35 cents. is Of classic pat,
tern and ivory in tone. The ivy has
already grown. so that it falls well
over the pot, and it is expected pres.
entity to reach out more ambitiously
These brackets are provided with sup
ports, through shich small nails ma,
be thrust TO fasten them to the wall
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
Could Be Banked On.

In a Columbus avenue dry goods
store where the family Of the proprle-
tor constitutes the working force the
som took charge OF the hosiery de-
nartmeut in the absence of his sister
4 nair of thin Isle stockings that he
had shown middle-aged customer
gave her considerable concern.
Il do wonder if they are strong
enough she said
oh, yes, ma'am," said the youth
You can carry a pretty heavy pocket
book in these stockings and it won't
break through"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
His Qualifications.

Writing to the leader of a string
orchestra an East Chester aspirant for
a position was requested to state his
qualifications. Complying by mail, he
said. among other thing;
yours reed, l can play fidle and
some on tromboan, also zillyfoan.
Have played foot at parties. but pre-
fer pickles.. Respt., o. NJ"
p. Slave taken u lessons on
the gatar. Would be willing TO teach
myself the cornit- Terms, union rats
Respt. o ID
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19
sympathy eeaets sympl,hv.

In life. in school. in cociety our
personal enthusiasms aid mental de.
sires will attract from Others that
which will satisfy them, and will
draw unto themselves the best from
other minds. No one learns without
hrst wishing to learn-that is certain
That no sympathy is gained without a
like Gift is almost as equally sure.
Indifference never can accomp lish
this
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19

lady one day remarked to Buiwer
Lytton how odd it was that dove
(Iatin. colombe) should have been
sent out to find the Old World, and
Colu, bus (Colombe) should have
found the new.
Yes" agreed the novelist; but
more curious still is the fact that one
came from Noah and the other from
Genoa!"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19

Any suggestions as to the music
for the dinner tonight?"
We'll. play something loud with the
soup course. You understand"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-19

The salt beds OF Chile could supply
the world with salt for ages 10 come
the mineral being found in large de.
9osits. 30 per cent pure
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-03-29
Trapped and Burned to Death

A horrible factory fire in New
York city Saturday evening snuffed
out the lives of 153 young people,
mostly girls, and several score more
were seriously injured. The Fl e
broke out in a ten-stOry building,
which had no fire escape, and the
unfortunate people were caught like
rats in trap. Many jumped from
8 and 10 story windows and were
crushed to death on the pavements
below. There were 700 people
working in the building, which was
used as shirt factory. on Greer
street, below Washington Place.
The authorities are investigating
the fire.