Weekly journal-miner., 1911-02-22
CLUB CR|LLS
 POLITICAL FALLAC|ES

opposition m dlspOslng or the OOm-
 mittee of Fifteen the newly-instal-
 led president of the club had been lulled into false security. Before
 his very eyes big table was spread
 like magic in the open space below
 his seat and in a twinkling an Op-
 position dinner was in full blast over his protests. It appeared that
 there were insurgents even in the
 Gridiron Club and they had taken
 this method of showing their inde- pendence. They utterly disregarded
 the president of the club and smugly
 constituted themselves a mutual ad-
 miration society.
 "It is perfectly wonderful how we do it" (meaning the dinner) says one. "It is amazing that news papermen should have so much tal- ent' volunteers another to which a third gravely assents "However, we admit it.' Notable guests had these insurgents, too. Among them were counterfeit presentments of Carnegie,
 Tawney, Cannon, Sherman, Beve- ridge, Fairbanks and Champ Clark
 Gall of whom were present in the flesh at the real guest tables and these were called upon in turn to briefly adress the diners. Each of the little speeches was a bit of delicious parody upon the well-knOwn ofatorial styles of the originals. Car negie. for instance objected to the number of windows architects plae- ed in his libraries, as not affording dead wall space in fifty-seven places for his own name, and his ambition was "to die poor, but advertised" "
 Tawney was bitterly opposed to more battleships and economy was his watehword, but he stood for pub lie buildings galore and for the many creeks that needed deepening.
 Fairbanks had never attended more joyous dinner, wherefore he felt called upon to add to the hilarity by a few words ''in tribute to the great leaders who nestled beneath the messy tombstOnes on wonder hills. '" He had mentioned them at the proceeding club dinner but felt jus tified in recurring to the subject
 because "they are still dead" Vice President Sherman's double told the inevitable anecdote. only in this case it was unspeakably aged
 and shOp-worn, which can never be
 said of the original article. He
 would like to be newspaper man. "Let me but write the political
 news of the nation and the Old Guard will get the votes" said he. Beveridge's representative "stood fearlessly for the uplift. In fact
 he was the uplift himself. He had
 never missed an opportunity to make
 a speech, and indeed he "had made
 a great many when there were no opportunities. 7" Champ Clark was
 fairly obseessed with his love for Uncle Joe, but of course that had , nothing to do with the fact that "he will be fussing around on the floor of the House when I am up
 in the Speakers ehair'
 All of the speakers, by a singular
 coincidence expressed their undying
 admiration of the Gridiron Club, "no
 member of which had ever betrayed 1 their confidence
 Though a few days after the Sen ! timental Saints annual visitation, ! the Gridiron Club was resolved that its guests should not suffer for their {: valentines, and the pretty missives
 were personally bestowed upon. the ] favored ones between courses by a | two hundred pound Cupid with dia- | phanous wings (and little else,) who cruelty insisted upon proelaiming aleud each choice bit of sentiment,
 which generally was loaded with half concealed jest at the expense of the recipients.
 Catching up and holding together the various skits and adding to the { iollity of the occasion were the topi- ] cal songs of the famous Gridiron Quartet, replete with sparkling hu-
 nor yet abounding in the sweetest
 melody. President Taft was not i given the usual number of turns on
 the red not gridiron, so he had a
 better opportunity to enjoy himself
 and doubtless one of the songs es-
 pecially appealed to his disabilities. | It was entitled "The Tariff WhOOp'
 and pictured the plight of a sturdy
 Kansas member of Congress who had
 been shrieking for tariff reduction l and.-