The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1911-02-19
GR|D|RON CLUB
HAS ITS jokes
MANY MEN OF HIGH DEGREE
ATTENDED DINNER AT WASH
tNGToN LAST NlcHr.
CAUGHT JAPANESE SPY
Who Hat Sketch Showing Where
Hon. Cumrins VIII Place Lad
der on Back rorci, OF
White House.e


organization of newspapeymen, tie
Gridiron Club. entertained its friends
at dinner tonight, and 1t would be
hard to tell which &C. tie most Iun
out OF the varied melange O. wit and
humor; OF sense a1d nonsense, thai
was poured forth the sues,s or iae
hosts There were many men of high
degree among the former; men OF
stern vislge with faces lined with the
burdens of lireat public seharges and
responsibilities; yet they laughed Ike
school boys and chucklet and cnor-
tied VITA mirth at the merry. quips
and jests of the scribes that unfali-
ingly played upon the foibles OF some
of their own number or hit off in Il
roaring skit some fatal weakness IN
the party policies.
Scaroel had the committee bees
placated by being resolved into a
"hog combine" and order restored
when japanese spy was unearthcd.
Papers of the most compromising ma
ture were found upca his person,
such as diagram Showing where
Honorable Cummins with place step
ladder on back porch CT White
House, "blue print of Hon. Taft's
mind when Hon Hitchcoc.. refused to
be impelled with toe of boot out of
Republican national committee, g" no
nograph record showing long inter
walls of silence at Oyster Bay" anl
measurements of Honorable hole in
TO which congress throws oiiilon Coz
lars each year. Just waen ;ae ex.
element ran the highest, it was dis
covered that the pseudo-spy wao
Richard Pearson Hpsospa=iAe Jap
anese 'Shr Scare. 'TF@ sss
7lytha enough was :.e sprightly
clerk who announced to the diIers
that the house had passed the recip-
rocity bill, which he held In lis hand.
But he cut an awful figure few min
rter later as he emerged from the
Goor OF the senate chauDer, with his
clothes in tatters, MS nat knocke |
over his eyes ana the parchment of
the bill in shreds-"all tina; was icit
of reciprocity"
Then for a moment the dining ;lall
with its eXquisitely -eau;iful floral
embellishments was plunged into
blackness, and the great fiery, grid
iron over President Taft's head faded
away. In sepulchrfl tones a lecture.
liftcl ,llis voice amid the Chill silence
and discoursed mournfully, and then
in turn with pungcnt wit upon public
men and measures, and shrleHs OF
laughter were heard as ! rc.norse.ass
spot light vas dire~-e. rrol t, G
shrinking Victims OF ..:s shaI@s OF wit
as they were each in order ,:.sc.oscI
to their fellow guess.
ut is perfectly wonderful now we
DO it, (meaning tie dinner says one.
!, at is amazing that newspapermcn
should have so mucn talent" vo1un.
teers another to which third graveiy
assents, However, we admit IT, no.
table guests had these insurgents, 100
Among them were counterfeit present
ments of Carnegie, Tawney, Cannon
Sherman. Beyeridge, Fa:l BANKS and
Champ Clark (all of won We're pres
, ent in the flesh at the rei- guest
tables) and these were called upon
in turn to briefly address the diners
Each of the little speeches was a bit
of delicious parody upon the well.
known oratorical styles of the origf
mails. Carnegie, for instance, objectel
to the number Of windows architects
placed in his libraries, as not afford,
ling dead wall space IN fifty-seyen
places for his own nC7Tie, and mis- am
bition was "to die poor, but. adver.
tised."
Vice President Shermans double
told the inevitable anecco;e, only in
this case 1t was unspeakaIbly !, aged
and shop-worn, which can never be
said of the original article. He would
like to be q newspaper man. Let
me but write the political news oi
the nation and the Old Guard will gel
the votes" said he
Beveridges representative stool
fearlessly for the uplift." In fact nc
was the uplift himself. He had never
missed an opportunity to make a
speech, and indeed ne mad made a
great many when there were no op
+, portunitios." Champ Clark was fairly
! obscessed with his love for Unc.e Joe
but of course that had nothing to dc
with the fact that "he will be fussina
around on the floor of the house when
| am up in the speakers cnair.'
, All of the speakers -.ry a singular
coincidence expressed their undyins
admiration of the Gridiron Club, nc
member of which had ever betrayed
their confidence"
Catching up and noiding togethei
1 .a.