davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
SHE SCREAMED, "Mosrs HAS ooxEw

She SCREAMED, "MOSEs has 0OMEv
far above, his deep voice suddenly
doomed across the silence she reared
to her knees with startled:
"Lawk-a-massy on us! Who's thereT'
Don't be alarmed, my good woman"
said the squire condescendingly. Its
only Moses"
Far from being treasured, she scram-
bled to her feet and started to bolt.
nor was she induced to remain by hear
ing the voice shouting behind her:
"Stay and listen! Stay and listen!
I'm Moses
Rushing down the church steps, she
screamed to the passersby: "Moses
has come! Moses has comet" Nor
would she be convinced until some Of
them, rather timorously. had ventured
in. only to find that the imposing pres
ence in the dimness was no appari-
tional lawgiver. hut a mere lawyer In
the flesh.
Even then she was heard to mutter
resentfully: 'sThe voice Of prophet.
and him no more than a squirrel The
ways of Providence are past our feeble
understanding. youths Companion.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
a comieal comparison.

You know how it is when man
grows fat and rolls Of fat at the back
of his neck are sort of piled one above
the other until stopped by the base of
his skull. Well. a man with the rear
of his neck disposed that way was sit
ting at the theater one evening in a
seat just in front of one who isn't rev.
erent.
The latter contemplated the exuber-
ant layers of flesh surrounding the fat
mans collar. Then, pointing to them.
he remarked. soto voce, to the COM
panion beside him:
Look at the plate Of buckwheat
cakesv'-New York Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
owned Evervthino.

Owned Everything.
An Irishman crossed to Canada on q
Canadian Pacific steamer, took the
Canadian Pacific train for Vancouver.
ate at G. p. r. eating houses. stopped
at C. p. r. hotels. was shown q. P. r.
land and finally got to Vancouver,
much impressed with the greatness Of
that institution.
He went to a hotel, registered and
asked the clerk how soon breakfast
would be ready.
Breakfast is over" said the clerk.
The Irishman looked at his watch.
at isn't time for it to be over" he an
swered.
"Oh, yes, it is" said the clerk. "You
see, your watch isn't right. We run
our dining room on Canadian Pacific
time"
"Good Lordr' said the Irishman in
an awed voice. docs the Canadian
Pacific own the time tooY-Saturday
Evening Post.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
Eff. Fruit. Shall Follow.


The books say well. my brothers. Each
mans life
The outcome Of his former living is.
The bygone wrongs bring forth sorrows
and woes:
The bygone right brings bliss.
II he who liveth. learning whence woe
springs.
Endureth patiently. striving to pay
His utmost debt for ancient evils done
In love and truth alway-
II he shall day by day dwell merciful,
Holy and just and kind and true. and
rend
Desire from where it clings with bleeding
roots
Till love Of life have end
He, dying, leaveth as the sum Of him
A Nfc count closed whose ills are dead
and quit,
Whose good is quick and mighty. far and
near.
So that fruits follow it.
Light Of Asia"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
Gave Him Due Credit.

Sir James Scarlet, the great English
lawyer, when practicing at the bar had
to examine witness whose evidence
promised to be damaging unless he
could be previously confused. The only
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
He s
; K
q Great Relisf "a Iisr.

II From astory found In The Land Of
Romance recent book about the
ever interesting Scottish border. itmay
be assumed that the e ovenanters be-
lieved that the rightful home Of the
highlanders was tile neither regions. It
is not SO many years. says the author,
Mrs. j. Lang. since an old woman up
Yarrow way was listening to a lesson
from the book Of Revelation read to
her by her grandchild.
:'And there appeared another won
der in heaven" read the little girl.
and behold a great red dragoon' -" :
"Hoots. lassie. : interrupted the dame.
cts no dragoonr'
The child persisted.
eGie s the book an rax me by my
specs. ORA. dra. g-o-n. COON. Ye're
RIGHT an Aim wrang. Read on"
The child resumed. And the great
dragoOn was cast OUT
Il kent that wad be the upshot off,
the old dame cried triumphantly. Its
the wunner tae me hoo he ever wan
in!''
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
TWO CIDER TESTS.

/ The First One Was Rather More Con
vincino Than ths Second.
In all glorious New Jersey It Is zen;
orally admitted there Ii no cider u
equa. that Of, Farmer Marshall. Blu:
he II notable for other things besides
ut Is said that he would very much
rather receive than givt.in short. tina
he Is q stingyfold rascal.
Young Peterson had heard Of this
i but he was young man who had con
siderable faith in his own powers vi
passing on the gentle hint. and to som
sp0rtive companions he had boastetl
that he would get a drink Of cider on:
Of the old man without actually ask
ing for 1t. Az such Il thing had neve.
been known to happen in living mem
DRY. there were plenty of takers, and
the next day Peterson drove over.
Morning. father" said he. "Fine
orchard you have here"
AYE" said the farmer.
''They tell me, too. that you have a
very fine press.
AYE. IT'S the best in all Jersey"
i1etty soou cAuer YOU get sup
pose. eh? But I dare say I've tasted
better
MOT in your born days. Tom"-this
to his son-"get an draw a mug O
CIDER
The luscious beverage was brought.
and with IL smile Of triumph young
Peterson held forth his hand to take
it.
But the farmers hand got there
first. He drained the mug and then
handed 1t to the visitor.
"There!" he remarked. IF you
think you've ever met the like Of that
cider just smell the mug"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
A ProbIe,n Solved.

He was from the country all right,
but he had "gumption" enough to
know that it costs nigh all outdoors"
to satisfy healthy rustic appetite at
certain city restaurants. Therefore
he was slow to take advantage of the
wine list which his friend and host
thrust before him in the midst of the
white lights. Two, three and four
dollars a bottle was heap of money,
by heck.
But his face lighted finally as If he
had solved the economic problem.
'Guess I'll have some o. that" said
he, indicating with his finger. The
line on the card read:
Corkage ........................ss.. u
New York Globe.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
The Same Message.

Horace Greeley once wrote a note to
a brother editor in New York whose
writing was as illegible as his own.
The recipient of the note, not being
able to read it, sent 1t back by the
same messenger to Mr.. Greeley for
calculation. Supposing it to be the
answer to his own note, Mr.. Greeley
looked over it. but likewise was I'M
able to read it and said to the boy:
go take it back. What does the -
fool mean?'
Eyes. SIR said the boy. 'sThat is
just what he says"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
SqueIched.

Squelched.
Senator Ogle, a member Of the Penn.
sylvania assembly. had been deputed
to compose an address to the newly
elected president. Andrew Jackson.
When the bluff old warrior submitted
his document to the house a fellow
member. a dapper little chap from
Philadelphia. observed:
Pardon me. general: l hesitate about
making any suggestion to 80 distin-
guished an Individual, but cannot
refrain from saying that It is custom
airy to write the first personal pronoun
with capital Il instead Of small
H."
General Ogle returned look Of
scorn. sir said he. when I write
to so great man as General Andrew
Jackson, Democratic president Of the
United States. abase myself. Sir. ]
use as small an + as can put upon
paper. But. sir. II ever ! should have
to write to liftle snipe like you ]
would use an T. sir. that would dll
two pages Of foolscap. I'D q;
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
Aupropriat, |, shade..

89A party Of Americans were sitting;
on the upper deck Of Rhine river.
boat enjoying the charming scenery:
One was reading aloud from guide
book about the various castles % they
came into view. just as the boat was
passing one Of the finest old buildings
q woman IN the party exclaimed 70 her
companions: Yhy. that old castle IS
inha bited. ses. thers m blinds at
the Wind z, 7. ssss SRI Il
81 /. said = msn & SfludingS ~ her:
~: q 100 ~ H. o their m
|eeStot |. an g3ss
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
PIeesed tho Bishop.

At the opening of a large religious
meeting in Iowa few years ago
missionary bishop from a neighboring
state took the usual steps toward put
ting his audience in good humor by
paying some compliments to the state
in which they We're assembled. He
praised the products Of Iowa one by
one and congratulated the people on
living in so rich a land. M
When his speech was ended q solemn
young clergyman rose and said that he
ventured to call the bishops attention
to one serious omission from the list
Of Iowa products mely. eggs. q.
The bishop. abundantly endowed
with humor. promptly replied. to the
delight Of the assembly, II am ex-.
tremely glad to learn that the hens OF
Iowa have SO competent q young
rooster to crow for them. .
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
A Spoiled Banquet.

An ambassador in Washington had
arranged-the date happened to be
Halloween-to give dinner party to
q body Of travelling Siamese noblemen.
Halloween duly arrived. the dinner
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
A Witty Reply.

Shortly after Governor Hughes Of
New York was elected the second
time. after bitter campaign. a law
yer from New York wanted to see him
and was told to go to the executive
mansion in Albany.
It was the first time the lawyer had
ever been in the official residence Of
New York governors. and after Mr..
Hughes came into the room the visitor
said:
You have handsome place here"
yes" Mr.. Hughes replied, ''but l
had a hard time getting the landlord
to renew the lease. Saturday Even
ing Post.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-22
Il HAM" REpL1rp MR. roMpx1Ns.

II HAM," REPLIED NIB. ToMPKINs.
! vulnerable point Of the man was said
to be his self esteem.
The witness, portly, overdressed
person. went into the box, and Scarlett
took him in hand.
VI ''Mr. John Tompkins, believer"
Eyes"
You are a stockholder?''
s II ham" replied Mr.. Tompkins. with
apronounced cockney accent.
Scarlet regarded him attentively for
. 4 few moments and then said dryly.
: And 4 very large. well dressed ham
! youa re. sir. = 3i
shout Of laughter which follow
a (ompIetely disconcerted Mr.. Tomp-
ins, and the lawyers point was gain
u .5
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1911-04-28
For BirdfProtection.

A country wide campaign for State
enactments against the sale of game
birds has been started by the Wild
Life Protective Association of New
York, the National Association of Au
dubon Societies, and the League of
American Sportsmen.
Immediate extinction of many game
birds will result, it is said, if protective
measures do not at once obtain general
adoption. Attention is called to the
fact that six native American birds
already are extinct and that a like fate
at an early date awaits fourteen others.
1t is urged that the stopping of the
market salesoflgame birds will restore
them in large numbers within half a
dozen years. - Most of the middle west
states prohibit the sale of game.
In investigation of conditions sur
rounding the sale of wild game in New
York Citylis said to have discovered
one dealer with the following supply in
cold storage: Stow buntings, 5000;
sandpipers, 1000; plover, 5000; snipe,
1000; grouse, 1900; quail, 1890; ducks,
l, 700; bobolinksi(rice birds), 300.
Arguments advanced in support of
the movement for State legislation
against the sale of wild game include
the following:
Ninety per cent of the feathered game
already has been destroyed.
Every species of mammal, bird, or
reptile that is pursued for money max
ing purposes eventually is wiped out of
existence.
Fifty per cent of the decrease in
feathered game is due to market gun
ming. Burlington News.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1911-04-28
Praise Morgan Horse.

Capt. Frank Tompkins, U. S. army,
professor of military science and tao
tics at Norwich university, and Henry
Steele Wardner of New York city
were over-Sunday guests in Burling-
ton. They left for the south Sunday
evening. Both are enthusiastic about
the Morgan horse, and hope that the
Morgan will be the coming horse for
the United States cavalry. They saw
some fine horses here and also called
upon Col. Jones, commanding the 10th
cavalry, and other officers at Fort
Ethan Allen.
Mr.. Wardner is the president Of the
Morgan Horse club and wrote the
able article "Morgans as Cavalry
Horses" which appeared in the state
fair number of the Vermonter in
1909, and which told of the 1st YER
mont cavalry going to the war for the
Union in 1861, with one thousand YER
mont Morgan horses, of their endur-
ance, intelligence and steadfastness
under fire, all of which aided materi-
ally in giving that regiment of gal
liant riders their wonderful record of
76 battles and combats. This article
received most favorable comment by
the Free Press and other leading pa
pers throughout the United States and
Canada at that time, and was espec-
tally noticed by the army journals in
this country and Europe. 1t has also
done much in attracting the attention
and interest of the officers of the
general staff of the army of Wash
ington, d. c.
Capt. Tompkins and Mr.. Wardner
called upon members of the Vermont
cavalry regiment residing in Burling-
ton, who gave most reliable and valu-
able reports regarding their personal
experience and that of their comrades
with the Morgan horse in war.
Gen. Charles H. Tompkins, U. S. A.
(retired), who commanded the 1st Yer
mont cavalry regiment in 1862, is the
father of Capt. Tompkins and lives in
Washington. The members of the reg
iment will be glad to know that their
old colonel enjoys a hale and hearty
old age. Gen. Tonlpkins surely has
the respect and affection of the old
soldiers who served under him. -Rut-
land Herald.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1911-04-28
HURT IN AUTO. MISHAP.
Brooklyn Man is Run Down by q
Machine in Newark

Newark, April %. Two persons were
injured in automobile accidents here to-
day. They are Richard Hanson of Third
avenue and Thirteenth street, BROOKLYN.
and William Kortman of No. S16 South
Fifteenth street, this city. Both will
recover.
Hanson was knocked down at Market
and Broad streets by an auto driven by
Carl Stakeholder of No. 232 Orange
street. The injured man was taken to
st. Barnabas's Hospital. He is hurt
internally. The accident caused excite
ment at the crowded corner of the citv's
two principal thoroughfares. Stadel-
hofer was paroled.
Kortman was riding motorcycle in
South Fourteenth street, and crashed
with an automobile owned and driven
by William N. Bruckner of No. 233
Gator avenue, Jersey City. The cycle
was wrecked and the rider suffered a
fracture of the left leg and other in
juries. In the car with Bruckner were
Thomas Holmes of No. 80 Ross avenue
and Frederick Flick of No. 20 McAdoo
avenue, both of Jersey City. All were
held until it was learned Kortman was
not dangerously hurt. and then were
paroled. New York Press.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1911-04-28
AUTO ORAGS CHILD.
Mabel Brooks of Brighton Steps
from one Machine in Front
of Another

AS she stepped from her father
automobile, 6-year-old Mabel Brooks of
&c Mapleton street, Brighton, was
struck by another automobile and
seriously injured on Murdoch street,
Brighton, last evening. Before the
machine could be brought to a stop she
was dragged Is feet.
At the Childrens Hospital it. was
found that she had a fracture of the
right thigh and broken left forearm.
The chauffeur, William Jaques of 5
Sparhawk street, Brighton, was ques-
toned by the police of station IA, but
not detained.
The accident happened short dis
lance from the Brooks home. The
child jumped from her fathers machine
directly in front of the car of DR..
HoraceA. Marion of Brighton, operated
by Jacques. Boston Herald.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1911-04-28
HARRY G. SELFRIDGE AND
FAMILY HURT.
Former Chicago Man in Auto Ac-
cident in WestmoreIand,
EnoIand

London, April II. Harry Gordon
Selfridge, the London merchant, for
merly of Chicago, his mother, wife and
eldest daughter, were all painfully hurt
in an automobile accident near Amble-
side, Westmoreland county, yesterday.
News of the mishap reached here today.
All are expected to recover.
The party were touring the Cumhrian
Mountains and were not far from the
head of Lake Windermere. Their car
was descending Kirkstone Pass when
the brakes failed and it ran away,
swerving from the road and plunging
with great force into the side of a
house. The car was smashed and its
occupants roughly thrown to the ground.
Selfridge suffered conclusion of the
brain. He did not regain consciousness
until this morning.
Mrs. Selfridge got two bones in the
forearm broken. The senior Mrs. Self
ridge and Miss Selfridge We're badly
bruised. Boston Herald
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1911-04-28
All Spring Blood Diseases
Touring Car Crashes Into Beaeon
Street Curb.
and Ailments

An abandoned touring car was dis
covered early yesterday morning by
Patrolman Connors on the curbstope in
front of the residence of William Harms
worth at 157 Beacon street with stray
wheel about ten feet away. Connors
was unable to find anyone who could
explain the accident.
Early in the forenoon man applied
at the Back Bay police station for the
derelict, saying a patrolman who had
been stationed to guard the wreck had
refused to allow him to tow it away to
a garage.
He said he was Charles E. Wads-
worth of 80 Center street, Brookline,
and was chauffeur for Charles A. Vinal
of ID Ashton Park, Newton Center.
Shortly after o'clock this morning
was going along Beacon street with
my sister-in-law and another friend, !"
he said, "when taxicab came whizzing
along in the opposite direction and ap-
parently beyond the control of the
driver l made quick turn to reach
the curbing and my machine skidded,
turning complete circle and finally
hitting the curb with such a crash it
was wrecked"
He was allowed to tow the machine
away. The damage was probably at
least $500. Boston Journal, April "a.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1911-04-28
AUTO DRIVEN BY WOMAN
KILLS MAN.
Knocks Him Down, Breaking Neck
and Skull.

Mrs. Elizabeth Glascoe of No. 484
Courtlandt avenue, The Bronx, and her
niece, Marguerite Falls, 10 years old,
were out for spin in Mrs. Glascoe's
red runabout motor car yesterday after
noon. Mrs. Glascoe was driving north
in Seventh avenue and Marguerite sat
contentedly at her side with doll in
her arms, when near 144th street Will
liam Koch of No. 526 Hudson street,
Hoboken, tried to cross in front of the
auto. He became confused, was run
down and killed. His neck was broken
and his skull fractured.
A moment before Mrs. Glascoe and her
niece had been laughing and enjoying
the ride. When they saw Koch fall
under the auto Mrs. Glascoe put on the
brakes and then she and the child be-
came hysterical. They were so weak
from fright they could not get out of
the car unassisted. Marguerite still
chung to her doll, but she was scream
ing pitifully.
Mounted Patrolmen White and Horn
came to the place. They called an am
bulance from Harlem Hospital. Dr.
Donnelly, who came, said the automo-
bile wheels had passed over the victim s
neck, killing him instantly. Koch s
skull was fractured by contact with the
pavement.
So unnerved was Mrs. Glascoe she
could not operate her automobile when
the policeman asked her to drive it to
the West 125th street police station.
The owner of touring car offered Mrs.
Glascoe and the girl seats in his auto
and they accepted. Mrs. Glascoe's run
about was placed in charge of chauf-
feur. In the police station Mrs, Glas-
coe continued to weep. She said:
ct was pure accident. l tried to
get out of the mans way, but, unfor.
tunately, he seemed to become fright
ened, and ran right into the path of my
car before could stop it. l do not
believe l shall ever ride in an automo.
bile again. The car l was driving be-
longs to me.
The police heard other witnesses, anc
agreed with Mrs. Glascoe she could not
have prevented the accident She was
permitted to go. All the time she was
in the station Marguerite stood beside
her with her doll The little girl coulc
not stop crying.
Koch was a salesman employed by the
paper box manufacturing firm of Emf
Koch & Co., No. 172 Reade street. He
was large man, weighing more thar
$50 pounds, and it was partly due to the
fact ne could not run fast that the mo-
tor car struck him. N. Y. Press.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1911-04-28
TWO HURT ON FIRE AUTO
DIE.
One Victim of Crash Was Secre-
tary of Board of Education.

Passaic, N. j., April 16. Two of the
three men injured last night when the
combination hose and chemical auto of
Fire company No. was wrecked on the
way to fire died in st. Mary's Hospital
today. One of the two was Charles F.
Cowley, an exempt fireman, who had
been a member of the old Volunteer
Fire Department and who served to the
time of his death as secretary and a
member of the Board of Education.
Lieutenant James Delaney of the fire
company was the other man who died.
Elmer E. Graham, captain of the COM
pany, suffered injuries from which he
will recover.
Cowley when not at his desk in the
secretary's room in the Board of Edu-
cation was likely to be found in the
quarters of the fire company. He was
in the fire house when a second alarm
was turned in for fire in a tenement
house in Passaic street, and when the
automobile fire wagon turned out Cow
ley jumped on. When rounding curve
in Passaic street the auto hit a rut,
swerved slightly and crashed against a
telegraph pole. Delaney and Cowley
were among those thrown out, and they
landed on their heads. The skulls of
both men were fractured.
Until the injured men were taken to
st. Mary's Hospital it was not thought
they had been severely hurt. When a
doctor examined them carefully the ex-
tent of their injuries became known. -
N. Y. Press.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1911-04-28
BARS CHILD AUTO DRIVERS
Bill Amending CaIIan Law In
dorsed by Secretary of State.

Albany, April 17.-Important amend
ments to the Callan Automobile law are
proposed in bill introduced tonight by
Senator White, chairman of the Senate
Committee on Internal Affairs. The
new measure is Endorsed by the Secre-
tary of State. The bill prohibits per-
sons under 16 years from driving ma
chimes. The law permits persons under
IS to operate an automobile if accom-
panied by licensed chauffeur or owner.
The amendments permit person be-
tween Is and IS years to run a car if
accompanied by chauffeur or owner.
The license fee for chauffeurs remains
at S., while the renewal fee is reduced
after February next from So to 81.
The measure compels owners of motor
cycles to be licensed and display num-
Der plates. No registration fee is re-
quired for cars operated for State,
county or city purposes. N. Y. Press.