davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-08-17
SPlRITUALISM
BARTER AND EXCHANGE

TO EXCHANGE-Stenograp in Govern
ment service. on road part of time at "a so
per diem, wishes to exchange for per1na-
nent position in Washington. BOX $780,
Times office.
FOR EXCHANGE-$S5O piano for $50 eaAn;
leaving city. BOX 603 Times office.
FOR SALE-Five shares Of Cafe Republique
stock. BOX 643. Times office is
The Washington times., 1911-08-17
HORSES AND VEHICLES

GANTZ has 20 loads Of runabouts, sur
reys, and spring wagons. VIII sell them
regard ess OF cost. 1906 II st. y. ".
The Washington times., 1911-08-17
WANTED-ROOMS
WANTED-R00MS & BOARD

WANTED-Room and board in French fam
lily. BOX 9. Times office. IL
The Washington times., 1911-08-17
NOTICE TO LADIES

vIAVI SCIENCE OF HEALTH, natural
non-surgical: cloth bound, 400-pase beck
free. Apply by mail. sls Colorado Building.
Free lecture for women Wednesday. 2:Se .. m
eTICKIEST sTICKER that ever stuck. Clues
furniture glass, china, books. everything.
Royal GISe. GO. acc Soc Pints 81. Druggists. etc.
The Washington times., 1911-08-17

so 1st st. 8. T.: store and s-room dwell
ing above; occupied many years by druggist;
suitable for greer: $40 90
NATIONAL LOAN AND INV. CO..
Thompson Bldg. 100 18th St
The Washington times., 1911-08-17

IRON AND WIRE WORK-Ornamental iron
work at the lowest prices. SCHAEFER
BROS. s27 II ct. n. W, Phone Main 7o24
The Washington times., 1911-08-17

ST. n. w, 1009-Two unfurnished rooms;
large and light; couple preferred.
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
Loretta's Looking Glass

WHY don't you do 1t, If you feel
" that way? Ask a man to
., marry you, and stop talking
about ii as IL It were some exalted,
much-to-be-desired distinction from
which your sex is held. There IL no
law against it. There never can be
a law for 1t.
The reason women do not propose
-generally-is just because the
wise ones have recognized a slight
but never absent trait in the man.
Woman has let man do the asking
because he likes her better when
he can make himself believe that
he sought her and singled her out
and acquired her.
But you, failing to note this man
nish trait, or so unacquainted with
the sex that you do not know It ex-
lists, clamor for the right" to pro-
pose.
Take 1t! Half of the so-caIled
rights were originally just appropri-
ated privileges. 4
Go on and ask a man to marry
you.
oh, Of course, II you are afraid
Then, IL you have not the courage
to take the right" you ought not
to have IL. II / had this fervid
desire to do the proposing sesth-
ing in my soul ! should propose
to scores till I worked it out of
my system.
They might refuse? OF course
they would! They ought to. II
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
OUR GROCERY CLERK SAYS
Diplomacy IL His Middle Name.

Did hear somebody say I'm not all
there when It comes to keeping the
customers and the boss good will
ut the same time? I didn't think I did.
Just now I'm referring to Mrs.
lite. She's as close as her name, ard
she comes in here every morning with
her pug dog for her groceries. What
ever else she buys, we can always
depend on her for a pound of cheese
each day She eats it alive.
And so does her pug dog. Cheese
is that purp's faYorite vegetable, and
/ know as well as Mrs. Tite does that
II / didn't throw the pug a big chunk
of ii when she's through ordering,
shed go elsewhere for her groceries.
So-now listen attentively-I throw
the dog a slice of our best store
cheese every day. While Mrs. T. is
cribbing a fancy cake or something,
1 neatly lop off piece of cheese from
the pound that she has just bought,
and after her order is wrapped 1 cast
it off-hand like to the pug.
Rather a cheesy trick, not?
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
REDDY SMITH
On Suburban DOmesfIcitJ

Did WI notice de feller dat jes' pass
ed, Jimmie? De tired lookin' Teller,
wild de sparkle in his eye? Sure.
dats him-de wun dat has his las
years overcoat Iookin' like dis years
de one dat's always got uh smile fur
yu. no matter how tired he looks.
He lives out in de suburbs, Jimmie.
Gets up at five in de mornin', rides
uh hour on de trolley, den wurks all
day till four an rides back uhgaln,
reachin' home bout five in de evenin'
OATS uh pretty long ways tn travel.
Jimmie, but say, de twinkle in his eye
tells how little he minds it. Can yu
imagine uh little house on de out
skirts, wild flowers an grass, an trees
all 'roun ct? Can yu see him gettin'
up in de mornin', eatin' his little ham
an eggs, kissing his wife goodbye a.
de door, den leavin' fur wurk? Cam
yu see de little woman watenin' him
till he gifts out NV sight. den goiD'
sinein' back tu hur wurk? Can yG
see hur waitin' fur him at de door
throwin' hur arms roun his neck an
kissin' him? Can yu hear hur LAT es
she helps him off wild his las years
coat an den leadin' him tn uh nice
brown beefsteak wild gravey an
mashed potaters? Can yu see him
readin' de paper while she's washin'
de dishes? Den, can yu see hur
stealth up in back NV him, throwin'
hur arms urroun' his neck am?
Say. Jimmie, dat mus be great,
Wurkin' amt so bad after all when
yu got dat tn look tn, eh. Jimmis3
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
DAILY SHORTEST STORY
KerhOp


Don't look down." he warned her
i'lest you grow dizzy and fall"
Shelooked, and even as he had said
grew dizzy and fell, fell. fell. He
reached out wildly to stop her, and he,
too, fell, fell.
Fell, fell, fell. Were It not for lack
of space the word could be repeated
indefinitely without loss of verisimili-
tude. Fell. fell. etc, etc. 1t was a hor-
rible distance.
'Help"' she shrieked. and the rushl
Ing wind carried the sound to his fall
ing ears.
7 am near you," he responded, re-
assuringly.
And still they fell. Not once, bu.
scores of times, did the history Of their
past lives rush through their brains.
They got tired of reviewing 1t. Such
was the extent of their fall.
ut seems hours since we started" {"
she sobbed. Won't you try to man.
age 1t so that can fall on your"
From that tremendous height they
hit the earth a foot apart and dis
appeared.
They were rain drops.
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
Mamie's Trolley Monologue

ladies on the Boulevard de whatsits-
name.
You never see a woman read a paper
as If It was a blackboard. Belle. She
folds It so as to run no chances of
breakin' her neck readin' the top lines.
1t makes me think a maH must be a
conscientious sort of animal, Belle, or
he wouldn't be so hdgety about 1t.
Did y'ever see one that had forgot his
paper and had to sit for an hour with
four beautiful females in distress look
in down at him? He'd be twice as
happy standin' up, on'y he somehow or
other just can't bring himself to it
And the joke of 1t is, I don't be-
lieve a man ought to be given three
months of hard labor for neglectin
to give a woman his seat, unless, o.
course, she's so old she oughtn't to
be on the car, anyway, or so pretty
he'd kick himself for a week for
losin' a chance to get a smile.
Look how the women treat a man
every time they get him where they
want him! What do they do to him
when they get him at a bargain coun-
ter, where they know he's helpless as q
baby? What don't they do to him?
Look what-but what's the use, Belle,
a man can sit down more gracefully
than a woman, anyhow.
The Washington times., 1911-03-24

Belle, I bet if women could vote
they wouldn't have to swing on straps
like hams in a grocery while the
men took up the seats to do the dis
appearin' act behind their news
papers. There'd be a seat for every
body then. And IL there wasn't
enough left over the men could
stand.
And speakin' of this newspaper
dodge, Belle, the more 1 see of some
men, the more think of ostriches.
Look at that man behind the Daily
Clavicle. You can tell It's a man by
his legs.
Well, Belle, did y'ever? 'Womans
Rights, Woman's Rights" all over the
front page. and him actin the ostrich
act behind it to hide from that thin girl
doin' the trapeze stunt around his
knees. AS long as he can't see her.
Belle, he feels perfectly comf'table, and
has a sort of idea she can't see him
either.
And II he gets through the news be-
fore it's time to get off he'll turn 10
Coopenheims fuIl-page ad. and read
with a face like a wooden Indian how
our represen' 'ative has secured ev'ry
country in Europe to find this empire
model of the l.. and W. which gives
the dumpiest figure those lines 40
much in vogue just now among the
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
SIZE HOLDS IT UP TO THE
Girl Who Wants the Right" to Propose

tented with the appearance of being
the proposer. AS a matter of fact.
no proposal ever happened but that
the woman saw 1t coming and either
helped it along or tried to stave
it off. She is not always successful
in either. But that Is her misfor-
tune.
But to do the proposing yourself.
Why should you? What is the use
of offending this desire to be the
initiator that the man cherishes?
Let him. I venture to say the req
ord of the most inveterate flirt
would look tame in comparison to
that of the average man-if the
women took to proposing.
Why, q proposal would be an in
suit to q man. 1t would be a rob-
berry Of his pet belief about him
self. He simply could not murmur,
"Yes, dear" to the girl who snatch
ed his favorite prerogative from
him in asking the question.
OF course, IL you have a title or
loads of money and the man has
pride, It Is different There are al
ways exceptions.
This is the truth Of 1t: Tho girl
who would have to Go the proposing
would get q REFUSAL. Then why
have the trouble7
And the girl who cannot bring on
9 proposal when the man Is in
terested Is too stupid to marry and
be the mother Of children.
The Washington times., 1911-03-24

one OF them did not, should know
he was not fully equipped with the
average allowance of gray matter
or that 1t was atrophied.
Il believe absolutely in all sorts
of hrst-aids to the propossr; but
should think myself a poor excuse
IL I had actually to utter the fatal
VIII you marry me?"
You do not want the right to
propose. You just want to get to
work-and work hard-to over
come an inherent incompetency.
You are on the wrong mental
tack. A strong wind has blown
down the ages; and it's going to be
blowing when the shores OF the sea
Of eternity come in sight. Get In
its path. This wind is the natural
inclination--which becomes q stub
prerogative IL It IL
opposed-in the heart OF man to do
the positive things In the progress
Of living. He claims for himself
the place of the initiator.
But he is like child. He Is con-
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
General Twisss
Declines Appointment

On account of i'll health General
Twiggs declines the appointment OF
brigadier general Of the Confederate
States army.
Departure of Commodore Ingraham
and Captain Harstein from Charleston
to Montgomery in pursuance of orders
from the capital of the confederacy Is
noted. They both bear important mes
sages from General Beauregard and
Governor Pickens.
1t is reported that Governor Brown,
of Georgia, has Just received from
President Davis a requisition for two
thousand troops.
The Louisiana state convention rati-
fies the Confederate constitution by the
vote of 1o1 to Z.
Owners of New York vessels seized
at Savannah induce Superintendent
Kennedy to give up the arms seized by
by the Georgia authorities.
The Charleston correspondent of a
Richmond paper has this to say: "All
tine seeded states are now raising, and
have raised, an army of ten thousand
men each for the northern invasion. If
any Republican reads your paper. let
me tell him with the utmost kindness
and goodwill, and at the same time
with all sincerity and truthfulness,
with a full knowledge OF what write,
that If a war commences between the
two sections 1t will most assuredly be
carried into the northern states by
the most desperate army that was ever
marshaled In this or any other coun-
try"
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
APPLAUSE

II suppose you cheered my speech be-
cause my arguments convinced you?'
said Senator Sorghum
NO" answered Farmer Corntassel;
ct cheered because you showed your
sense by sayin' the things had already
been thinkin'."
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
THEY KNEW HOW

They tell me all the women in your
married peoples dancing club are un-
usually pretty"
"Yes, we found that was the only way
to get the other husbands to come"
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
QUESTIONABLE REPLY

Brigss-I have made a will leavir &
my brain to the hospital, and just got
an acknowledgment from the author
tiles.
Lotty-Were they pleased?
Briggs-They wrote that every little
helps.
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
NONSENSE

Mrs. Callem-Emma, why is your head
so full of nonsense these days7
Emma-Maybe it's because I've been
putting my curls UP IN the funny pa
pers, mother.
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
Fifty u. S. Soldier.
Paid Off at Sumter

According TO Charleston dispatch,
Paymaster Hutton. of the United
States army, has just visited Fort Sum-
ter under q flag OF truce and paid on
fifty United States soldiers. Same dis
patch says Major Anderson, in COM
mand OF the fort, has sent to Quarter
master Hatch, Of the Confederate
army, desiring to know by what con-
veyance his troops can be transported
north. They are expected to go any
time, and abandonment OF the fort IL
hourly expected.
BY q vote Of SO to IS the Arkansas
state convention refuses to adopt the
secession ordinance ii has been con-
sidering for some time.
Governor Sam Houston, of Texas,
signs the bill to transfer the troops
and arms of the state OF Texas to the
authorities of the Confederate States.
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
FINANCIAL PROPOSITION

so your husband is dead, Mrs. Jolly?
am sure ] am sorry for your loss"
There amt no loss, ma'am We got
his insurance"
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
THE WHOLE STORY

She-Here's a lock of blonde hair ard
enc Of black hair in your watchcase,
Fred. What does II mean?
He-Is your memory so short, dear?
They are both yours,
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
BUSINESS TOPICS

There is one thing which marrying
minister desires in his business as ar
IDENTIFY as other business men dread It,"
What is that?"
"a prolonged te-up."
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
The Southern View
March "a, 1861
papers in several of Il

The Southern Volunteers OF Wash
ington city have one hundred and fifty
men enrolled for service under the
Southern Confederacy, and are holding
in readiness to await the acceptance Of
President Davis. II Is said that nearly
six hundred have left Baltimore, and
that a regular rendezvous is opened in
Market place for their enlistment. They
enlist for three years.
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
Felt Safe

Don't you see that sign, Look Out
for the Cars?"
do you see that of mule?"
Yes"
well, the cars better look out for
him."
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
COST OF BEAUTY

He-Grace is looking as young as
ever. isn't she?
she-Yes, but she says it costs her
more every year,
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
Reason Enough

what yer lookip' so glum about, Bill?
Bin lookin' for work?"
"Yes-an' I've found someE"
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
The Northern View
March "a, 1861.

The advocates of a peaceabls sep
aration- between the federal govern
ment and the southern states are
rapidly becoming more numerous.
They urge immediate action In
recognizing the confederacy.
There is a prevalent impression
also that the seeding states will be
allowed to do what they want. The
former militant expectancy that Fort
Pickens would be reinforced and the
southern ports blockaded has given
way to peace rumora
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
Philadelphi. Shipbuilder,
Laugh at Southern Navy

Philadelphia shipbuilders are
laughing at the absurd pretensions
of the confederate states in regard
to a navy. A few days ago there
was great flourish of trumpets
about the first vessel of the con-
federate navy" This "man-of-war'
was named the Lady Davis, out OF
courtesy to the wife of Jeff Davis
This vessel was built in this city and
is well known here, 50 1t may be well
to state her size and capacity for de-
stroying union commerce. This
magnificent" steam vessel Is a COM
mon river tug, such az are used for
towing oyster boats up the Della
ware and canal boats on the Schuyi-
kill She was originally intended to
tow on the James river, Virginia
Her name was then the James Gray,
after a merchant Of Richmond. Her
dimensions are 11o feet In length.
% feet beam. 10 feet depth Of hold
The Washington times., 1911-03-24

suppose she's getting ready that annual she hands
each spring when she comes here
you needn't down my mother John Peeved retored his
angy She's much than deserve and
don't believe you read that letter"
it'll" cried Mr.. Peeved What do
Burned up? Gave the office boy
away with pink ribbon: What does usually do with
the letters of his mothernlaw? He reads don't he! Reads
'em quick with
what's more stand for being hounded
to death about my my your relations
It's enough drive divorce be nagged What did
say? When will come? Why did she write to
Believe the limit Why don't she write if she's
got deuge this house with letters2 Why don't She
did me- snapped Mrs Peeved but that letter to
you special one.
Special clustered Mr.. Peeved. Blew UP for
exravagance told what good wife you told nc
mamma interrupted Mrs Peeved
decision she says that long didn't acknowledge
cancelled it She says, she can't bear ingraitude .
outa IN unopened letter.
he went o fix the furnace.
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
Major Anderson Directed
To Evacuate Sumter

1t was authoritatively announced
today that President Lincoln yester-
day issued the order for the evacua-
tfon of Fort Sumter. The order di-
rects Major Anderson to put his
command in readiness to leave the
fort upon the arrival at that place of
a United States war steamer. Colonel
Lamon, OF Illinois, the confidential
friend of the president, was the bear
er of the dispatches to Major Ander-
son. The evacuation will take place
upon the arrival Of the steamer,
which has been dispatched by the
secretary of the navy. There is no
intimation whatever on the part of
the South Carolina authorities that
any attempt will be made to prevent
the evacuation in such a manner az
the United States government may
see fit to employ.
Major Anderson will salute his daE
and embark with his command.
The forces under General Beaure-
gard have extended the works on
Morris island with such rapidity that
no fleet with reinforcements can pass
the batteries. There is the utmost
vigilance night and day, and all sus-
picious vessels are obliged to come
to.
Confederate troops from various
parts of the south are being concen-
trated at Pensacola.
The Washington times., 1911-03-24

)HN," said Mrs. Peeved, looking up from letter
she was reading, did you hear from mamma earlier
in the week."
"Er-umph," answered Mr.. Peeved, unintel-
ligbly, as he skinned eagerly through the war
news from Mexico.
I'm sure l don't know what that means"
snapped Mrs. Peeved "and you haven't answered
my question. Did you did you not get a letter
from mamma on tuesday,"
you needn't holier at me-" growled Mr..
Peeved. YES l got a letter from your mother.
Never knew such woman for writing letters l
The Washington times., 1911-03-24
NEWS OF THE CIVIL WAR
As Told in Daily
Dispatches Printed
FIFTY YEARS AGO TODAY

1IFTY years ago began the memorable struggle
| between the north and south known generally as
| the civil
The Evening Times has searched the old news
paper files of both northern and southern cities
ing from day to day the war and current
reflection of public sentiment it appeared in
each section at that time.
From the Southland the dispatches are taken
directly from the files of old-time newspaper Of
Richmond, Va, and from the North the news is
drawn from several sources, including files of old
I of the larger cities.
The Washington times., 1911-03-07
NEGRESS ARRESTED
AS HOUSEBRlAKER
Woman Found in Walker
Home Denies She Intend
ed Any Wrong.

Hearing an unusual noise on the Sec
ond floor Of her home, Fifth and B
streets northeast. while members OF the
family We're at breakfast this morning,
Mrs Samuel II. Walker, wife of Major
Walker, former Superintendent of Po-
lice, went upstairs and found colored
woman in her bed room.
The negress said a woman in the
neighborhood had sent for her to get a
bundle Of laundry. and that she had
entered the wrong house
After she had left, Major Walker
called up the police Of the Ninth pre-
cinct, and on description furnished by
Mrs. Walker Patrolman o. T. Davis ar
rested Marian Anderson, of COZ Second
street northeast, on a charge Of house.
breaking. She was identified by Mrs.
Walker.
According to the police, the Anderson
woman was recently released from iail
having served thirty days for house
breaking.
The police Say the woman admits she
was In the house this morning, but de-
nies that she had any intention of steal
Ing. She told the bluecoats she found
the front door unlocked. Mrs. Walker
said the door was locked and that en-
trance must have been gained bv a.
duplicate KEY.
The Washington times., 1911-03-07
Ballinger's Successor
A Widely-KnoWn Man

The New Secretary OF Interior has
not before figured as a material char
acter, but he is widely known in the
middle West, both as q lawyer and as
q public spirited citizen He was at one
time President Of the Conservation Con-
gress, and is now a member of the
Railroad Securities Commission appoint
ed by the President last summer.
He was born in Wheeling, w. va
July l. 1862
He was a student at Marietta College
and at Hanover, Ind, of which his
father, a clergyman, was president. He
has a private fortune and large fam
lily. Several of his boys are at Harvard.
At the beginning of President Tart
term he was considered III connection
with q Cabinet place, and since then
has been suggested for vacancies on
the Supreme Bench. He was the first
president Of the Conservation League,
and one of its organizers. and Is now
one of it's vice presidents. His 1nfor-
nation on such public questions as re-
clamation, irrigation, and waterpower
sites is broad and comprehensive.
He is a Republican of strong con-
victions but independent He was one
of the organizers of the Municipal
Voters League, in Chicago, which f.
naIly brought about an adtucation of
the great traction fight. 1t was MIR.
Fisher who devised the plan under
which a full settlement of this Ques-
tion was reached.
AS special counsel Of the city OF
Chicago in the traction cases, Mr..
Fisher received $4,000 a year. He is
a member of one of the leading law
firms of Chicago, Matz, Fisher & Boy
den He also is a member of the
Railroad Securities Commission.
The Washington times., 1911-03-07
Horse Hungry, Excuse
For Eating Tree Bark

Nah horse was hungry, yo' honah,
an All guess dat's why he ct off de
bark of dat tree"
Such was the excuse given in the Dis
tr1ct branch Of the Police Court this
morning by Reed r. Ashwood, arraigned
before Judge Pugh on a charge of allow
Ing his horse to bite the bark of one of
Washington's shade trees.
What was the matterT" demanded
the court Hadn't he had any dinner?''
mo, sub, 'twasn't time TO- his dinner.
He jes' natchully got hungry befo' his
time, and went TO- the tree. OATS all"
We'll, see that you keep him better
fed in the future" directed the court,
as he ordered that Ashwood's personal
bonds be taken not to allow his horse
to repeat the offense.
The Washington times., 1911-03-07
Ferocious Wolf Hound
Guards Thomas F. RYAN

NEW YORK, March IA ferocious-
looking wolf hound, powerfully built
and alert. has been installed in Thomas
F. Ryan's home, at S5S Fifth avenue.
The hound looks more Hfe a real wolf
than like a dog Every time Ryan
rides in one OF his autos the hound
sits next to the chauffeur and looks
to be ready for any emergency.
Ryan's auto was IN front of his home
today when the chauffeur came out
of the basement with the dog. From
the animals collar ran a heavy steel
chain and leather strap. The chauf-
feur held on with both hands He
was dragged by the hound toward the
auto. The dog jumped to seat The
driver fastened the strap to q bar.
What kind Of dog is that?' asked
"A genuine wolf dog" replied the
chauffeur.
"And he belongs to Mr.. Ryan7"
HE surely does"
No attempt was made to interview the
wolf hound.