davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15
TJndoing of Mr.. Uplift
BY LAFAYETTE PARKS.

81 believe that doctor is right who ad-
vlses folks 10 have hobby II they want
to live long" begins Mr.. Uplift as his
First Born, the autocrat OF the Harlem
flat, strolls In for the daily verbal handi.
cap.
Count me in on that hobby stunt" ex-
claims young Mr.. Uplift, languldly prying
a cork tip from his cigarette case as he
sinks into the easiest chair.
''IIe says 1t takes ones mind away from
toll and worry" continues Father.
Anything that win help gink sidestep
work will certainly get your little Willie's
o. k" approves Son.
Hsome folks take up different line Of
kYork outside Of business as their hobby"
Freiates Father.
80 I've heard" admits Son II read
about one chap who crocheted doilies when
he didn't have anything else to do. That 8
my notion OF no kind OF a hobby to take
Up for fun. A stunt like that is all right
II fellow is RUNNING for office on the
-suffrasette ticket, but outside Of that
] can't fall for It,"
This doctor tells OF a noted musician
who collects watches as a fad" goes on
Father.
Vhere Is a bunch OF chaps in this little
VAu AOWh WIZ W npkAAhh tiso Aol n Nv
ing" says Son zone tried TO pinch mine
coming up in the subway tonight. but ]
managed to catch the time while Il was
flying He told me had such a frank
open face, he wanted to see II l carried
the same kind OF timepiece. Believe me
! before the cop got through with that boy
Me had an improving face like one OF those
dollar tiekers that made Maiden lane
famous"
'of course" Father objects. ''there 1,
such a thing as carrying a within too far
Il let this sink carry his to the door Of
the car before ! started In 10 hunt his feel
ings by changing the map on the from
elevation OF his marble dome" describe.
Son.
Women are especially recommended L
cultivate hobbies 80 they can keep up al
active interest in life," urges Father.
THE DANES are 80 busy cultivatini
hobhle skirts and some OF the other fifty
seven varieties" asserts Son. that I don
see where they can dope out place Of
the card for any other entries"
Well suggests Father. he tells o
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15
BY AMERE MAN

Like the plaques Of Egypt, one domestic
dynasty followed another IN the household
Of the Post Graduate Husband.
Some cooks came in answer 30 adver-
tisemeats. others the most incompetent.
we're recommended by supposedly helpful
friends,
For three days the kitchen Of that limo
cent suburban household had harbored the
village cut-up, who had brought the strong.
est kind OF reference from an elderly
maiden who, knowing nothing whatever
OF her, had been willing to commend her
for everything-in the conscientious way
that women have.
Finally the Amateur Wife decided that Il
was utterly useless to depend upon local
sources Of supply for q servant She must
so to town and select a trusty retainer
for herself. The Post Graduate Husband
had tried and failed. She would show
him. The superior judgment OF woman
would triumph where man had failed.
To Her Husband the most annoying thing
Aabout His Wife's self-confidence was that
events usually justified IL.
And on the morning when she journeyed
70 town with him to carry out her pur-
pose he was not in the least surprised
when, an hour after they had parted. she
called him up TO say that she had found
ING pearl oA HEaAAN-lil6 hOnlnOpI OF COOKE.
She's French-she doesn't speak a word
OF English, and I'm coming in on the first
train tomorrow to get her. she only
reached America day before yesterday and
she brought a trunk and wool mattress.
She said she heard there were no wool
mattresses in this country and go she
brought It along Isn't that cute and in
teresting, and exotic?" gurgled His wife
'Humph." grOaned the Post Graduate
Husband, TN bet you she never shows
up"
He was ever reticent over the telephone
but that night while striving valiantly to
eat the dinner prepared by His Wifes fail
/ hands he unburdened his soul.
What on earth did you think we wanted
eNwth a, French cook?" he asked, irritaby
Weren't our expenses heavy enough wher
we had a woman who spoke our owl
language and naturally had some regart
for Our feelings and bank account? Yot
know how those foreigners are! The,
think all Americans are mlllionaires. Ever
with Mary McGoogan our bills were be
yond all reasonr
Il should say SOL His Wife calculated
why. the last week she was here we hat
seven dozen eggsl Now you know. dear,
she added thoughtfully, "eighty-four egg
for three persons I'm one week is not prob
able It isn't even plausiblel"
Ne agreed the Post Graduate Hus
band, but I'm sure our expenses will b.
doubled the moment you place an ignoran
foreigner in charge Of the kitchen"
81! hope just the contrary replied Hi
WIFE with more than her customary firm
ness. 81 am sure the washerwoman use
to get dozen eggs from Mary every week
French women are thrifty and IN be YER
much disappointed IL she doesn't save a
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15
The Easter Message

Afar in quaint old Brittany
A heartfelt tale is told
A legend of the lily's birth
BY peasant sages old
The message that the folksong bore
Is true this Easter day
Lends hope to those who hear its words
And cheers life's darker way,
Years back, in yonder pleasant grove,
Thus speaks the graybeard seer,
"A tree there was which lives no more;
A punishment severe
Once killed its growth, for from It's grain
Was cut the Hateful cross,
All verdure dropped and all mankind
Felt burdened with the loss.
But that Despair should not enthrall
The guiltless on the earth.
The lily's bloom as balm grew bright,
A token of His worth;
And as the blossoms birth was marked
Its light shOne clear above
The darker lines of sorrowing life
So Hope was sent through Love"
IT'S true today. this Hastertide
A joyful note should bring.
Take thou a text from Calvary,
OF Resurrection sing
Cling thou to Hope-the flower proved
It's light would Danish gloom
And let thy smile all sorrow end
AS did the llly's bloom.
"A. V. S. in New York Telegram
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15
Men Full Of Emotion

are more susceptible more easily moved
than those Of their wives.
Mans GOODNESS and apparent nonchal-
ance on exciting occasions Is only surface
deep Inwardly he is trembling with nerv-
BUSINESS and emotional fear. / venture to
say that the majority OF women on similar
occasions would be perfectly self-possessed
and mentally calm and alert.
In my experience women are on the
whole harder hearted than men. Woman
does not feel 50 deeply as a man; she Is
not so susceptible 70 the influence OF otheR
people"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15
History Of Transportation

reach or control of the engineer, and
neither Of which can be fastened down
Fifth-The engine and boiler must be
supported on springs and carried on four
wheels, the total height not to exceed fiji
teen feet.
The trial opened October /, 1929. Four
engines were entered, but only three of
them competed The track on which the
competition took place was only one and
one-half miles long Each engine had to
traverse this track back and forth ten
times, thirty miles in all. On October IA
the prize was awarded TO Stephenson's
Rocket, the only one of the engines that
fulfilled the requirements.
The success OF the Rocket in this COM
petition, which is remembered as the
"Rainhill trial" silenced further opposi-
ton to the use of steam locomotives as the
motive power of railroads.
The Rocket had a cylindrical boiler six
feet long and three feet in diameter. Elk
tending through the lower half of the
boiler were twenty-five copper tubes three
inches In diameter; these formed a pas
sage from the firebox to the stack. There
was an outside firebox surrounded by a
water space. The firebox was three feet
deep and the CRATE was three feet wide
and two feet long. The inclined cylinders
which were fastened near the rear Of the
boiler were eight inches in diameter and
had stroke OF sixteen and one-half inches,
The driving wheels were four feet eight
and one-half inches In diameter. Draft
was created by passing the exhaust steam
from the cylinders into the stack. This en-
CINE weighed about four and one-half tons
and hauled thirteen tons at a speed OF
twenty-nine miles an hour
(To be Continue6)
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15
Some SlhOuettes Of the Sidewalk The d h%'''
nv AERIE
Name and Address.
BY BoBBIE BABBLE

Forty days are over now"
Says Trivia, with unclouded brow,
80 /, in latest style arrayed
Will join the Easter day parade
From head to foot completely new
I'll flaunt upon the avenue
In new spring toilette, spick and span
To please that tickle creature-Man!
How welcome was the Lenten rest
Now that it's gone l find new zest
In all the crowding social joys,
The harmless flirting with the boys,
The tea and gossip with the girls
Who. under pompadours and curls,
Connive and agonize and plan
To please that tickle cerature-Man!
what was the text? Oh, 1 forget!
There's Polly Brown-she's wearing yet
That old black dress she wore last spring
When will she shake the shabby thing7
She's short on taste. but long on mind.
Some morning she'll wake up and find
That smiling lips and beaming eyes
Have conquered noble men and wise
Since Eve long, long ago, began
To captiVate that creature-Man!
THE pretty girl, with eyes Of brown.
Who keeps demurely looking down
Who captivates and flatters jim
Knows just the way to manage him
She seems so innocent and kind,
But bless her heart, since Time began
She's the sort that captures Man.
"Heighho / wonder with a smile
Whether the efforts worth the while;
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15

(Copyr1gnt 1911, by Union Pacific Ry, Coz
Compiled by Charles ]. Lane and ID. G.
Buell. for the Union Pacific School OF
Railroading for EmployeB)
Continued from Yesterday
The engine "Locomotion No. l." was
notable because Of the fact that the pis-
tons were linked directly TO cranks on the
driving wheels, thus doing away with the
toothed wheels previously employed. This
engine on it's first trip hauled a train
made up of thirty-four wagons, an aggre-
gate weight OF about ninety tons, at an
average speed Of five miles per hour, and
maximum speed OF twelve miles per hour.
Notwithstanding the flattering showing
made, this locomotive was employed only to
small extent on the road. 1t could not
compete In economy with horses and was
only used to. handle a portion of the coal
traffic.
Locomotives were in disfavor at the time
il became necessary to decide on the kind
of motive power 10 be used on the Liver
pool & Manchester railroad Stephenson,
after much persuasion. finally prevailed
on the directors to consent to a public
trial OF locomotives, open 70 all, for a
purse Of f6OO.
| on April 25 1929, the conditions Of the
trial were published and were as follows:
F1rst-The successful engine shall eff
| fectually consume its own smoke.
Second-If its weight is six tons, 1t must
be capable OF drawing after II, day by day,
/ on a level plane, a train having a gross
weight OF twenty tons, including tender
and water tank at the rate Of ten miles
/ an hour.
Third-The steam pressure must not ex-
/ coed fifty pounds.
| M. l. 81,
one OF which must be completely out OF the
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15
Dates 40 Rememher.

Paper was first made from linen in 1874
Glass windows were first used for light
In IlGO.
Weaving OF woollen cloth started In Eng
land in 13ll
In ls5s lead pipe began to be used for
carrying water.
Chimneys became q part OF house con
struetion as early as 1896
Gunpowder was discovered in 1881. and
guns were Invented In liza
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15

least her wages on the housekeeping bills"
Dream ony" exclaimed Her Husband,
bitterly. Dream onr' and said no more.
Next day the new cook. her trunk and
the globe-trotting wool mattress arrived
in Mountainville.
She could cook divnely. The menu OF
her dinners read lige a passport to heaveni
Every evening tho Post Graduate Husband
was introduced to some new culinary mas
terplece, but invariably, as he praised its
excellence, came some disquieting reflec-
ton as to It's cost
"She certainly can cook" rs observed
one evening as the buxom and black-eyed
Marie battered down the basement stairs,
but just walt till the butchers and gro
GERS bills come in! I'm afraid. my dear,
we're rather poor to afford the luxury OF
such a first-class chef"
The Amateur Wife smiled mysteriOusy.
Don't worry about the bills in advance"
she answered lightly. wen know the
worst soon enough. But you should have
seen Maries face when / told her to give
the washerwoman her dinner!"
As though answering to the utterance OF
her name, there was a sudden clutter upon
the stairs and a flashing, heaving and
highly enraged French woman burst into
the room.
''AIadame Madame! Come quicky!" she
called eKcitedly. THAT woman has dared
to touch the butterl have explained to
her that butter is not for the domestics
but she understands not my language! II
| is a crime-a Sin! AS long as have beer
in madame's house I have never once eater
| Of the butter"
| The Amateur wife smiled triumphantly
at the Post Graduate Husband, who was
lost in utter admiration.
Say" he remarked contentedly as Marie
disappeared. "she certainly is a cracker.
| jaclS I'm glad, / discovered her"
| Copyright 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Co.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15
Pranksome Spring

Yes, the gentle spring is here.
You can tell il by the gear
OF the ambient atmosphere.
You can tell II by the jokes
Nature plays on trusting folks,
Making spring a jolly hoax.
Morning genial as a spruce
Running full of vernal juice,
Evening colder than the deuce,
Morning sun all full of glow
Driving off all thoughts of VICE.
Evening just a touch Of snow.
Every prospect fair to see
Say from 8 a, m. to 3,
Filling all our hearts with glee;
Then in spite of all our trust
Comes along a windy gust
And our eyes fill up with dust
ON the lawn the robin sings
Happy songs of genial springs
While he flaps his pretty wings.
Later on he's not so pert,
Sits a-shiVering and inert,
Glad of his red flannel shirt.
Strawberries come on the scene
Looking pallid, sour and green,
In the spring air, nipplng. keen.
When the gardener blithely goes
Down to cheer the thirsty rose,
10, there's ice upon the hosel
So it goes from A to u,
Somehow ruther seems TO me
Spring amt what the poets sung
In the days when l was young,
Amt no longer being sprungl
A. Suffering Mann, in New York SUI
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15
Delusion

A young couple appeared not long ago
in a prayer meeting In a middle-Wsst
town and requested the minister 20 marry
them. The service was interrupted "a
oblige them, and after the ceremony they
took a front seat while the regular meeting
resumed hymn was then given out that
had evidently not been selected with thia
incident In view The opening line said1
"Deluded souls that look for heaven ~
L1ppincOt'E A
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15

GGy LITTLE SERMON FOR TFFE WEEK END

Of earthly peace. But The result OF truly
advertising Jesus passes us into another
realm. A satisfaction that is more serene,
peace that Is more cnduring Let us re-
member that we are the architects OF Gus
own fortunes There is one mind common
to all Individual men Every man is an
inlet to the same and all of the same. Tie
that is once admitted to the right OF reason
is made freeman of the whole estate.
Failure Is ours only II we make il such
our life Is DUN only II We make It so
The highest duties oft are found
Lying on the lowest ground
In hidden and unnoticed ways.
In household works, on common days
our lives are songs; God writes the words
And we set them to music at pleasure;
And the song grows glad, or sweet OF sad
As we choose to fashion the measure.
We must write the music. whatever tbs
song,
Whatever its rhyme or meter;
And IL ii Is sad we can make It glad,
Or II sweet. we can make Il sweeter.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15
Fight for the Babies

and on the understanding that the number
Of the family be strictly limited.
But this combine between landlord and
parent on basis OF compromise unfavor-
able to the other babies can only be a
temporary arrangement and already the
babies are putting up such a strong fight
that garden cities with small cottages are
growing up right and left around the big
English towns. and the flat landlord will
soon be advertising family flats."
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-04-15

For, after all is said ana done.
It's just a man that has been won;
So free from intellect and mind
Inconstant, selfish, hard to please;
Loving himself and loving ease!
Yet we keep on as we began,
To captiyate that creature-Man"
Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-21

a club without apology. and later on.
during his dummy. saw him writing
our names on the back of an envelope,
and putting numbers after them. At
my earliest opportunity l went to
Max.
There is something the matter with
Dial, Max / volunteered. "He has
been acting strangely all day, and
just now he was making out a list
names and numbers"
You're to blame for that, Kit" Max
said seriously. You put washing soda
instead Of baking soda in those bis
cults today. and he thinks he is a
steam laundry Those are laundry
lists he's making out. He asked me
little while ago if l wanted do
mestic finish
Yes, had put washing soda in the
biscuits. The book said soda, and
how is one to know which is meant?
Il do not think you are calculated
for domestic finish,''I said, coldly, as
! turned away. I'm any case / dis
claim any such responsibility. But
there is something on Dal's mind"
Max came after me. Don't be
cross, Kit. You haven't said a nice
word to me today, and you go around
bristling with your chin up and two
red spots on your cheeks-like what
ere-her-name-was with the snakes in
stead of hair. l don't know why I'm
so crazy about you; always meant to
love a girl with nice disposition"
| left him then. Dial had gone into
the reception room and closed the
doors. And because he had been act
ing so strangely, and partly to escape
from Max, whose eyes looked threat
ening, followed him Just as 7
opened the door quietly and looked in.
Dallas switched off the lights. and
could hear him cropping his way across
the room. Then somebody-not Dial
spoke from the corner. cautiously.
rs that you, Mr.. Brown, sir?" It
was Flanagan.
"Yas Is everything here?"
All but the powder, sir. Don't
step too close. They're spread all over
the place"
Have you taken the curtains
DOWN."
Yes, sir
"Matches?"
Here, sir"
Light one, will you, Flanagan? I
want to see the time"
The flare showed Dallas and Elan
nigan bent over the timepiece And
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-21
IN OBEDIENCE TO ORDERS
french Boy Caused Merriment by
Taking the Order Of the Court
Too Literally.

A droll incident is reported as hay-
Ing taken place in one of the pro-
vincial appeal courts in France. A
boy, about IA, was summoned to give
evidence, and his appearance was such
as TO move the whole court to laughter.
he wore long redingote, peculiar TO
the Basque country, and immense
boots. His trousers, collar and hat
were unquestionably those of a man.
Inc court was convulsed, and the
president asked the boy how he dared
TO treat the court in such a manner
fhe boy seemed as surprised as the
president, and taking out the citation
from his pocket, read the formula in
wiling him, Comparative dams les af-
flares de son pere" (To appear in
his fathers suit.)
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-21
copyrlghs lpOs, by the BobbsMerrln Co.
SYNOPSIS.

James Wilson or Jimmy he is called
by his friends. Jimmy was rotund q
looked shorter than he really was HIS
ambition in life was to be taken seriously.
but people steadily refused to do SO. his
art is considered huge joke. except 20
himself. If he asked people to dinner ev-
erYone expected a frolic. Jimmy marries
Bella Knowles; they live together a year
and are divorced. Jmmy's friends ar
range to celebrate the first anniversary
of his divorce. The party is in full swing
when Jimmy receives telegram from his
Aunt Selma, who will arrive IN four hours
to visit him and his wife. He neglects to
tell her of his divorce. Jimmy takes Kit
into his confidence. He suggests that Kit
play the hostess for one night, be Mrs.
Wilson pro TEN. Aunt Selma arrives and
the deception works out as planned.
Jimmy's divorced wife, enters the house
and asks Kit who is being taken away in
the ambulance? Belle insists II is Jim.
Kit tells her Jim is well and is in the
house HARRISON steps out on the porch
and discovers a man lacking a card on
the door He demands an explanation.
The man points to the placard and Har-
bison sees the word Smallpox printed
on 1t. He tells him the guests cannot
leave the house until the quarantine is
lifted. After the lifting of the quarantine
several letters are found in the mail box
undelivered. one is addressed to Henry
Ilewellyn. lquique Chile. which was
written by HARRISON He describes mi
nutely of their incarceration. also of his
iuf2tua ton for Mrs. Wilson. Aunt Selma
is taken al with Ia grippe. Betty acts as
nurse. HARRISON finds Kit sullling on the
roof She tells him that Jim has been
treating her Outrageously. Kit starts
downstairs when suddenly she is grasped
In the arms of Il man who kisses her sew
eral times She believes that HARRISON
did it and is Inundated Aunt Selma tells
Jimmy that her cameo breastpin and
other articles of iewelry have been stolen.
She accuses Betty Of the theft. Jimmy
tells Aunt Selma all about the strange
happenings but she persists in suspecting
Betty of the theft of her valuabes.
HARRISON demands an explanation from
Kit as to her conduct towards him. she
tells him of the incident on the roof he
does not deny nor confirm her accusation.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-21
STILL IN HIS POSSESSION
Remarkable Coincidence in Sum Of
Money That Rastus Had in
His Pocket.

Rastus was on trial, charged with
stealing seven dollars and eighty-tive
cents. He pleaded not guilty. and, as
he was unable to hire an attorney, the
judge appointed Lawyer Clearem az
counsel. Clearem put up a strong
plea in defense, and Rastus was ac-
quilted.
Counsel and client met few min
utes later outside the court room.
Now. Rastus," said Clearem,
you know the court allows the
counsel very little for defending this
kind of case l worked hard for you
and got you clear. I'm entitled to
much more pay than I'm getting for
my valuable services, and you should
dig up good7sized fee. Have you got
any money!"
Yes, boss" replied Rastus, Il done
got seben dollahs and eighty.lvo
cents"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1911-04-21
AN ESTABLISHED FACTORY

Producing standard goods used by stores,
banks, farmers and practically every body,
is sending its special representative to
open a distributing office for this district
and other unoccupied territory and desires
a resident distributor with $500 to So, coo
in cash, carrying stock for Immediately
filling orders; we allow 500 to 5000 month
ly compensation, extra commissions, of
flee and other expenses, per contract, ac-
cording to size of district allotted and
stock carried; permanent arrangements
references required. If YOU can fill re-
quirements write promptly Liberty
Manufacturing Association, 230 West HUI
ron St., Chicago.