River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-27
ELECTRIC SPARKS


The office boy counts on two va
cations-his own and his bosses.
Congress takes day off," said
a newspaper headline. Off what?
Emperor Williams peaceful in
vasion of England was a great sue
cess.
The mosquito does not wait for
the first of the month to present
his bill.
Do notice how sweetly the Stand
ard Oil Company promises to obey
the law?
King George is actually going to
have the time of his life for the next
two months.
We notice that the farmers" who
are opposed to reciprocity ride in
automobiles.
This country may be the richest
in the world, but no one contends
that it has forests to burn.
You don't blame Americans for
being nervous when they have to
dodge 100000 automobiles.
Our idea of the highest human
luxury is chance to get tired sit
ting around the house all day."
Gov. Woodrow Wilson may not be
a regular politician but he manages
a presidential boom like an expert.
If Secretary Stimson wants to find
his department, he will find most of
it strung along the Rio Grande
river.
Still, when we hear how much it
costs, we can restrain our grief at
not attending King Georges coron-
alton.
The Harmon Presidential boom is
liable to strike shoals when it at
tempts to navigate the waters of the
Platte.
The average salary of vacant
passionate in New York is said to be
$500" That's why its a vacant
pastorate.
In the opinion of clinical critics
the best thing about the Standard
Oil decision is the fact that it is de-
hvered at last.
The parcels post is sure to come.
The best that the express companies
may hope for is that it will be very
slow in coming.
Forecasts of 1912 are premature,
but it is safe to predict that the
Standard Oil Company will vote the
Democratic ticket.
Wherever postal savings banks
have been inaugurated the people
did not have any false modesty
about using them.
Still, after those Americans meet
the queen, they are not at liberty to
call upon her at any time they hap
pen to be in town.
Mayor Gaynor who thinks no sa-
looms are open in New York on
Sunday, evidently does not have
much of thirst on that day.
Gov. Woodrow Wilson is reported
to have astonished California by
telling the truth in plain, blunt
way. 1t can afford to be astonished.
If the month of July keeps on
mingling snowstorms, hot waves
and cold blasts she ought, in self
respect, to change places with
March.
On American farms $104 100000
more wealth was produced last year
than the year before. That sum
would buy a good many automo.
biles, and did.
There are times when Senator
La Toilette is tempted to suspect
that something like joker can
make it's way even into a Supreme
Court decision.
"a Philadelphia physician says
that everybody ought co practice
daily the healthful exercise of yawn-
ing" If SO everybody ought to
read the Congressional Record,
daily.
Massachusetts has law making
it crime to misrepresent the merits
of stock or the financial condition
of a corporation. This is going to
make life pretty hard for the pro-
spectus writer.
The Chicago News thinks the
only way to crush an egotist is to
ignore him" In some cases, how
ever, the process, to be successful,
would require a 100-ton ignoring
steam hammer.
IF what the photographer sends