The state-line herald. (North Lemmon, Adams County, N.D.) 1907-1912, 1911-03-17
ADVICETO
JOHN

long D01Oro this tnat your most fOot-
ish foolishness is to act the way you
DO when you feel like criticising your
wife as housekeeper. II you really
desire better conditions and happy
home, instead of tears and divorce
proceedings, there Is better way.
| It has been your custom, you know.
when you saw dust on the center ta-
ble, to quietly and not unostentatious-
" stick your foref1nger into 1t. then
look at the finger with an air of pa
tiont martyrdom, wipe It carefully on
your handkerchief and then use the
handkerchief as dust rag. When
you have accidentally discovered that
sweepings have been left under the
davenport, you have without comment,
and almost secretively, gotten the
dust pan and broom and swept UP the
Hitter, giving Mrs. John only the
barest hint of what you have been do
Ing by asking her what to do with the
painful OF trash. When you have come
home to slipshod and unappetizing
dinner, with accompaniment of spot
ted napery, you have merely beer
moodily disagreeable, really uncon-
scious Of the look Of holy resignation
you are wearing. And all the while,
when your wife has been sneaking
away to sniff and sob out her indig
nation and aggrievement. you have
dattered yourself with the unctuous
thought that less patient men would
have said withering things or wrangled
under such circumstances.
1t would be much better John, for,
you to throw china and smash furni.
ture. But this Is the best plan Of all:
II one of these annoyances turns up.
tomorrow, overlook 1t as entirely as II
your wife were your employers wife,
and you were dining with said employ
er to talk over an increase In your
salary. Put on your society manner.
Not only try to be gallant but try 10
be fascinating. 1t will be hard for
you, John, but try. Be as complimen-
tary as you can without showing you
have something up your sleeve. You
must be that way at least one whole
day before attempting to apply the
remedy
next day, continue to play your part
You must not even whisper to your
inner consciousness the sarcastic ex-
cuse that modern housewives are often
compelled to neglect household duties
OF shopping. paying calls, shopping, at
tending bridge parties, shopping, going
to matinees or shopping. At lunch,
particularly. be paragon of gallantry
and thoughtful courtesy, and take re-
luctant and affectionate leave Of your
wife before going back to the of
fice.
AS soon as you get back to the Of
ice send her this note by messenger:
Dear Tr!x: The home atmosphere
30 took possession of me at lunch that
forgot all about the office, and, In
cidentally, about Tumpkins You
know, the Tumpkinses, poor things,
haven't any perfect home life like ours
they board. Poor old lump was
complaining about their miserable
condition today, and l felt so sorry
for 'em | wanted to give EN- a real
treat In honey home like ours, with
one Of those Jolly little dinners you
are so good at getting up 80 invited
EN- out for this evening. Sorry /
forgot to tell you before, dearest, but
l know my little owney own will fix
things just right. Your loving-Jack.
You will go home early that night,
and when you open your door you will
think you have gotten into the wrong
house. 1t will be the brightest, cozi-
est, most orderly house you ever saw
You will find your wife In the kitchen
oh, dearie," you must exclaim
everything Is beautiful, exquisite
perfect! It you shouldn't have
gone to SO much trouble for Just the
Tumps"
Why. john" she will say; don't
you know Mrs. t Is the spiteful
est most critical old cat in the
world?'
| Continue to be explanatory enthusi
astic until the Tumpses arrive BY
t that time Mrs. John will be flushed
with pleasure and look unusually
!. pretty.
For week after this event you car
keep telling her how proud you were
and the flattering things Tumps sale
up at the office. And you must be
appreciatively complimentary Of hel
efforts to follow up this success. Then
] by the time the Tumpkinses or Other
friends have dined with you five
times, you will be able to tell Mrs
John, in all sincerity, how happy II
makes you to know you can invite &
friend home at any time, without any
t warning. knowing he will find a well
ordered house and good, though sim
pie dinner
A pat on the back beats slap OF
the wrist from here to Texas, John.