The Washington times., 1911-08-15
PIPING BEER INTO CONSUM
ERS' HOMES.

1t listened well when Jack Cade
promised his thirsty followers that the
conduit in Cheapside should run with
wine, but Jack, unluckily, was unable
to perform. Not so the leading citizens
of Mont Clair, n. j., whose names are
withheld, but whose ability to make
good is said to be unquestioned, and
the project they have in mind would
make the dry Sphynx of Egypt's arid
sands look up and lick its chops. These
enterprising citizens have sent com
munication to Mayor Hinck asking
that he place before the common coun-
Gil of Mont Clair their request for a
franchise to run beer pipes into every
home, connecting with reservoir Of
beer at one end, meter like unto a
gas meter at the other.
The enormous tank would be located
on a neighboring hill, sufficiently high
to give abundant pressure and the
pipes would be carried particularly into
what is known as Upper Mont Clair,
where at present there are no saloons.
Beer fountains, with elm the slot
attachments, would also be erected in
the principal parks.
As an evidence of good faith, and
likewise as an inducement toward
securing the franchise, the promoters
agree to pay the city third of the
profits or fiat rate of $500 year
for each 1000 inhabitants.
The citizens who are behind the
movement announce that they will re-
main in the background until they
hear from the Mont Clair council
through the medium of the press. The
general public will watch the news
papers with equal interest. At the
same time it is difficult to understand
this unfounded timidity or excessive
modesty. Could anything short of the
millennium be a more distinct service
to the community? Is it not highly
probable that, once the plan has been
thought out, less modest promoters
will come forward, duly incorporated
and besiege council for the privilege
which these shrinking benefactors
broach from behind the mask of
anonymity?
Practically the only drawback to the
project as it has been outlined is the
ancient trouble of getting a square
deal from the meter, and there is no
reason to assume that beer meter
will be any more upright, painstaking,
and conscientious than the gas meter.
To which may be added the monotony
of one brand of beer.
The promoters have anticipated the
latter objection, and propose to hold an
election once year at which the
citizens shall DECIDE by ballot what
brand of beer shall be piped during
the succeeding twelve months. Such
an election would take rank with the
most unique specimens of the working
of a democratic government. 1t may
be assumed that there would be no
difference of opinion as to the wisdom
of running through a few gross tons
of book beer in season, but perhaps It
would be wise to engraft the recall
upon the machinery of government as
a protection to the consumers. If at
any time a majority of citizens should
decide that the beer was becoming fiat,
or fell below high standard of malt
and barley, the corporation would be
compelled to fill the tank with a more
acceptable brew.
The Mont Clair temperance solution
may yet take it's place with commission
government and other twentieth cen
tury developments of municipal regu-
lation. The reply of Mayor Hinck and
the common council will be awaited
with the keenest interest.
A DISGRACE TO THE KEY