davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02

Mister Edditur
 have mailed my official resignasion to the Etowah Avyasion Club. can sore to all kinds of hites in eerquence, and things like that. but when it cums to soring in a flying machine l beg ernestly to be ex- cused. I am sum slouch of a sorer in sum lines, but I am free to admit that as an avyator l am dismal and pro- nounced failure When our Club was first organized l was an enthusiastick member. It costs nuthing to join. except enthusiasm, 1 am long on that com modyty. When the time came to elect the offisial obsurver to go along with the man bird'' and report all obsurva sion, l was put in nominasion. It was suggested by sum one that this was an extremely dangerous position. and that who-evver took it must risk his life, and that it was possibul. evven probabul that he mite fall out of the machine and be impalled upon church steeple, or fiat ten his classical frame upon the land skape No sooner was this mensioned than I was unanimously and enthusiasts tislxfy elected. I am very popular. No bne offered enny objection at all to my elecsion except my crediturs, and they were not all present. so I was tryumpl- antly put in our Club is the proud pos sessor of a Write By-Plane, that has seen its best days. We have an up to date By-Planur who admits he can make the thing fly like a bird. One day last week, evvery thing was put into shape for our first offisial assention. and I took out an extra thousand life insurance, took feeld glasses and fervently bid adue to my loved ones, and amid the cheers of the multitude we prepared to fly, far far away. I seeted myself by the side of the opperatur, and he turned on the juce, and we skdded down the run-way, and rose gracefully in the are about 3 feet. and the engine gave a gasp or two like the last gurgle of a bath tub, and the whole capoode turned turtle spilling me with a dull thud in the SW14 of the NWA of fraction 20. T. 12 R. , F. and the op- peratur rite on top of me. The opporatur was not hurt. He had a soft phase to lite on. I way about 1s0 pounds and ne was a small man, but when he came down on me, he did not so impress me at the time When it was assertained that our first attempt was failure, but that we were not seriously injured, evvery one seemd verry much disappointed
 The opperatur sed we could fix the machine and make a new start. I told him to go ahead, but 1 thought that l would walk. do not crave excite
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02
A Double Kindness
John Kendrick Bangs in LIppincott's Magazine.

John Kendrick Bangs Tn Llpplncott
 Magazine.
 "They may say what they please a bout Mabel Wall6per" old Mrs. Jim merman said, she poured out her husbands tea the other night while the rain fell in torrents outside. She may be frivolous, but all the same she is considerate woman-mighty con siderate. I don't know another woman who would do what she did today What did she do today?' asked Jim merson who had his own opinions as to the lady's good points.
 'Why, when this perfect deluge of a rain started in this afternoon she re- membered that the last time she Was here at our meeting of the Browning club she had Borrowed our umbrella, Mrs Zimmerman said, enthusiastically. and, without hesitatinS a minute, she put on her hat and waterproof coat ana came all the way over here in that rag ing storm to return it. l think that was mighty thoughtful and nice of her. Don't you?'
 ] T certainly do," said Jimmerson. T
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02
sh ouldn't have thought it of her

sh ouldn't have thought 1t of her
 q guess we've all done her an injus t:ce' said Mrs. Jimmerson. but here after I shall know better. l don't think I should have Ventured out on day like this on such an errand."
 Well, I'm mighty glad she did it. said Jimmerson Mighty glad. I've got to go back to the store for little while this evening and that bumber- sh oot will come in handy"
 Mrs. Jimmerson's face flushed and she coughed in an embarrassed way,
 Why Tom. I'm sorry, but you can't have 1t. dear" she said
 "Why not?" Jimmerson demanded.
 Why said Mrs. Jimmerson, ''it was raining so hard that I had to lend it to Mabel again to go home with I couldn't do anything else after she had been so thoughtful as to bring 1t back
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02
Catholics and Congress

From Harper's Weekly.
 It has been said, we know not with how much truth. that one circumstance that helped to keep Mr. Sheehan so long @ candidate for senator was that there are very few Roman Catholics in the Sixty-second Congress That was not a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02


 A Book of Dear Dead Women, Edna w.
 Underwood Little, Brown & Co, Boss
 ton, s1.25).
 Fairy tales never lose their enchant- ment. In childhood it is the god mother fay who grants every wish, the fairy prince who wakes beauty at the right moment. a genie who opens the cave of rarest jewels. In later life it is the Cleopatra who comes to the wor- shipper of love for one night, the Egyp- t1an mummy that recreats itself into an enchanting princess for one who adornes, and the like wild fancies if so be that Gautier, a Maupassant or Poe calls such miracles into the realm of the real for us
 Such fantasies, such Dreams of Fair Women has Mrs. Underwood made seem very real.
 The wild fancy of "The Painter of Dead Women" will be remembered as tale of the Smart Set which attracted attention at the time of it's appear ance.
 The Mirror of La Granja" is fairy tale of even more grace. Zarabanda, the Moorish love of Phillip the Second, dances to life from the depths of the magic mirror upon Ia noche de los difuntos, the night when the dead re- turn; from the mirrors translucency
 
 bloom of her when she danced herself into the promise of a throne
 The little nun created by the "Listz's Concerto Pathetique," runs eagerly from the gray desert of unfulfilled de- sire to the fair garden of the lilies only to be beaten back to the desert by the strong wings of fate.
 The height of opulent. mystic inven- tion is reached in the story of The Opal Isles" There spread the realm of joy-"lightness and joy, freed from fear, superstition and corroding care,'' there all the joyance of courage awaits those strong enough to hold fast to the vision.
 The King" is an Easter tale of the Hamburg Ghetto, tale of finer uual- ity and higher reach than any other in the array of brilliants.
 But the story that grips strongest that holds most tenaciously, that sings itself into the memory is that of "One of Napoleon's Loves"-some leaves from the Diary of the Countess Tatjana Tschaska. Who does not recall the fascination of The Household of Sir Thomas Moore" and of the Dairy of Anne Powell'-the same never to be forgotten charm lives in this diary with an added 1ustre of brilliant court life and the glory of material music
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02

mind he wants to represent him. He responds to the mind that appeals to him. If the minds that Roman Catholic education offers him do not appeal to him as strongly as some other minds, what Is there to do about it?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02

The Professors Mystery" by Wells 1 Hastings and Brian Hooker. (Bobbs-
 Merrill, Indianapolis. s125)
 1 detective tale as thrilling as the best and yet not dripping with blood, not narrowing with mysterious murder, not convulsed with crime.
 It is fine thing when we can be thrilled, but not revolted, inter- ested and not mortified In the usual | detective story the gaping wound is left l to bleed while pursuit grows hot after the murderer In the usual story of that ilk the next door neighbor becomes a cul- prit, the intimate friend a miscreant: and viper at the breats is nothing to the transformation that the interest of the plot requires of those of a mans own household
 These two writers have chosen to give | interest without horror, excitement with out shuddering, thrills without shivers. And all this abundant excellence is brought about by the simple expedient Of ! calling in the supernatural evoking the spiritualistic, playing with the semi psychic forces which, who knows?-all may possess.
 The characters are nice, pleasant peo- pie who do not go about getting them selves murdered in dark corners The heroine is dainty, dear girl for whom the pleasing nick name Lady is de-
  in vacation time-who is not averse to adventure, midnight rushes to New York in big automobiles with fair Lady, hunt ing trouble with a dago sailor, haunting seances The medium, Mrs Mahl. IS well drawn-half a fake, half a believer in her own devices or in the existence of her psychic powers. The authors carefully put themselves on either side of the fence that divides belief from un- n 10 a Qpi n before her identity has been divulged, the medium locates a thin gold chain and ring, whose place she could only have discovered by the exercise of some occult force-at the books end. while the medium is exposing her own fraud an exposure deemed necessary, for the restoration of the mothers disturbed mind the authors devise very cunning ly arranged straws for choosing: Belief or Unbelief?
 The Tabor family are holding seance, last aid to the diseased mind of tho mother, whose fermentation arises from a passion to hold communication with dead daughter, Mrs Mah presides at the table She has declared the lev itation the voices which have so long sapped the strength of Mrs Tabor, to be "just a trick" when suddenly: "The canary gave a shrill scream-the me- dium cringed sdelong. raising her arms as if one had struck her. And my hair thrilled and my heart sickened and stop ped, for even while she spoke voice came out of the empty air above our heads voice like nothing that we had heard before. woman's voice, thin and tremuous, with fragile resonance in it ,as though it spoke into bell: oh. mother. mother,' it walled. Why don't you let me go and rest?'
 A sweet spirit, real or unreal is more companionabe even in book than is a diamond robber or a murderer!
 A book whose charm equals its ex- ritement.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02
Music Festival, Atlanta, April 27-29. S5.25 return Via Southern Railway.
S9.4S

S9.4S
 Special this week, any suit or overcoat in the house, S9.48, values up to $40.00. Chalifoux Bankrupt Stock, 1916 Sd Ave.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02
5 New Automatic Railroad Blocl

superiority of the bell over the light con sists in the fact that sometimes it is too foggy and smoky to see a light for any distance, while the bell can give instant and accurate warning, thus you can see that if the cost was the same to install that the bell would possess superiority ever the light. Our block signal not only will prevent all head-on and rear-end col 'lsions, but the device is so arranged as to protect open switches with the same degree of safety.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02

device-and many are buying stock volun- tarily after seeing the demonstration. At the present rate of selling this stock cannot last many days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02

From 800 to 1000 men are calling daily to Zee the demonstration of the wonderful end new Automatic Railroad Block Sig
 nal-the coming life and property saving
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02
BOOKS OF CHARM

and the fearful beauty of mighty armit and great battles
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02

There is a block signal being tried out now by the Frisco system They have placed it on 40 miles of their line al T cost of approximately 6O.Oo0,r which you can readily see is too expensive to be practical not only that, it is a signal that shows a light. Now our block sig
 nal can be installed at the same distance for s4oO0 and does not show light but rings an electric bell over the engineers head in the cab. You will note that the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-04-02
What Other Corporations Owning Patents Have Paid to the
 Owners of Their Stock

quoted at S24,0o0.W per share and none for sale.
 All inventions are owned by stock com panies, and the people who were fcre- sighted and invested in the stocks of in- ventons of merit have received great for tunes in Dividends from the stock in such inventions. If you would like to see this wonderf I invention operated, please call at 1go1 First avenue, corner ground floor room Morris hotel Our main office is 76t-5e BrownMarx
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
Too Much Economy.

An eminent musician tells Of trip
when he and butter merchant OF
Philadelphia crossed the ocean on the
same steamer. There were few pas
sengers on board. and the musician
was glad of the quiet, so that he could
compose. Often he would sit down at
a table by himself in the smoking
room and busy himself for six or
seven hours at stretch with pen and
manuscript paper. The butter dealer
watched the musicians dOings with
great interest and one day tried to
coax the musician to take walk on
deck. The musician declined courte-
ously, Offering the excuse that he had
a great deal more music to write.
"But, my dear man." said the man
of butter. what are you doing that
for? Economy is all right, but one
must not go TO extremes. Why don't
you buy the pieces instead of copying
them off this way? Music Is so cheap
nowadays
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
Every Minute Counts.

A business man from a small south
ern town was visiting New York. A
friend asked him what was the most
impressive thing he had seen so far
the high buildings, the subway, the
ocean liners or what.
"None Of them." was the prompt re-
ply. THE thing that impressed me
most was the rush in everything.
was in an Office one day, and young
woman, evidently a new hand, was
opening the mail. There must have
been several hundred letters. She cut
one open, took out the letter and laid
1t in its proper basket.
"Here, that will never do" said the
boss. Every time you hay down that
paper cutter and take it up again you
are wasting time Cut them all open
first and then take them out. You will
save at least ten minutes that way
every day."-New York Sun.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
HIS GOOD DEED.
II Was Well Done, but II Was Tagged
With a Return Ticket.

MY father" said the man with the
side whiskers. was a lawyer. One
of his clients was a bOthersOme old
She would pay him interminable visits
at his Office and at our home, talking
him almost to death about nothing
every time she came, and when she
was out of town her letters to him
were worse than her visits.
"Once when father was confined to
his room by a very bad attack Of the
govt and consequently was not In the
best Of humor he received very long
telegram from the old lady containing
lot of words about nothing. This of
itself did not tend to increase fathers
good humor. but when he discovered
that the old lady had sent 1t to him
collect, S4.60-well, to say that he was
angry but family expresses his condi-
ton of mind. Father at once called for
writing materials and supply Of tele-
graph blanks and for the next hour
devoted himself, in spite Of the govt,
to writing a reply to his clients tele-
gram. Just as he finished mother en-
tered the room. Father told her Of the
collect telegram he had received and.
showing her the reply, said: This tele-
gram is as long as can possibly
make It. / am going to send 1t col
Iect 1t will cost her somewhere be-
tween $50 and $25, but It will teach
her a lesson which she needs badly
Mother tried hard to persuade him
not to send II, but father was ada
mant He sent for Jim, my elder
brother, a boy Of about fourteen, and
gave him the telegram, with direc-
lions to send II at once at day rates
At the same time he gave Jim a check
on his bank to get cashed. When Jim
went off with the telegram and the
check, father, soothed by the knowl-
edge Of good deed well DONE set
tied down to enjoy his morning paper
IN as much comfort as the govt would
permit. In about two hours Jim re-
turned and, going to fathers room.
handed him the money for the check.
Father took the money and counted II.
and then he counted 1t again.
"'What does this mean, Jlm?' he
asked. 81 gave you a check for $50,
but you've brought me back only $780,
"'Oh, that's all right, father replied
Jim reassuringly; the telegram you
gave me to send cost S24'
Fathers govt took a turn for the
worse, and he was In bed for a week"
Baltimore American.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
A MISUNDERSTANDING.

They were man and wife, says the
Cleveland Leader. They were also
trying to catch an East Cleveland car
as 1t rounded the turn in front of the
Williamson building.
She was the first to see what she
took to be their car and started in hot
pursuit. But her husband saw that
twas a Shaker Lakes car and began to
yell Justify, Shaker L.akes"'
The woman seemed to run faster
than ever instead Of slowing down.
Didn't you hear me tellin' you that
was a Shaker Lakes carr" he inquired
breathlessly and bit grouchily.
She looked at him and gasped:
81 thought" she said. that you were
trying to get me to hurry. 1t sounded
as II you said. shake your legsw
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
The Weird Excuse.

Mrs. Parkison Of one of the main
line suburbs met Mrs. Brown at a. so,
cial function the other afternoon and
In the course of their talk told her this
story on Mr.. Parkison:
Don't you know, Frederick did a
very peculiar thing the other night.
He came home from the club rather
late. and Of course / had retired l
didn't hear him go to bed, but some
time during the night heard a noise
In the room. / awoke and was star
tied to trace the noise by sound to the
door under the bed. / was so fright
ened l screamed.
"Just then Frederick poked his head
out from under the bed.
whats wrongr he asked.
"What on earth are you doing
thereT ! asked In return.
~ must have been dreaming" he
explained. dreaming that was fixing
the blamed automobile Wasn't that
funnyr
Very replied Mrs. Brown. "rhat
was the night Mr.. Brown and Mr..
Parkison went TO the theater together.
Mr.. Brown came home late, too, and
went to sleep standing up in the UNI
breila rack, but he didn't have any
weird excuse!-Philadelphia Times.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
The ~
Scrap Book
Thinus He Didn't Know,

Artemus Ward was once making o
railroad journey, dreading to be bored
and feeling miserable, when a man ap
preached him, sat down and said, Ibid
you hear the last thing on Horace
Greeley"
Greeley? Greeley?" said Artemus
Horace Greeley? Who Is he?"
The man was quiet about five pin
utes. Pretty soon he said: George
Francis Train is kicking up good deal
Of a row over In England. Do you
think they will put him in bastile?'
Train? Train? George Francis
Train?" said Artemus solemnly. 81
never heard Of him."
This ignorance kept the man quiet
for about fifteen minutes; then he said:
what do you think about General
Grants chances for the presidency
Do you think they will run himf"
Grant? Grant? Hang 1t, man."
said Artemus, you appear to know
more strangers than any man / ever
sawr'
The man was furious. He walked
up the car, but at last came back and
said. "You COMPOUNDED ignoramus, did
you ever hear Of AdamT
Artemus looked up and said, what
was his other name"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
HE LED THE CHARGE.
And Then the General Changed His
Mind About the Colonel.

The French General Gallifet was a
famous cavalry leader. a good liver, a
fine soldier and a man Of impetuosity.
daring and bravery. Ii is said that
Gallifet's pluck was in great measure
owing to his extraordinary powers of
digestion. he once undertaking and ac-
complishing the feat of eating wine
glass. In a biography of General Gal
llfet is the following story:
During some maneuvers he was
watching a charge of cavalry under
his orders. Suddenly the leading
squadron stopped dead. Gallifet roar
ed, Send me the colonelr And the
colonel galloped up.
"'Now. colonel. what's wrong|
ave came upon road at the bot
tom of an embankment which was too
steep to ride down. sir
"'Nonsense. sir! You're not fit for
your job. ! will lead the charge. You
go to the tail of the squadron
"Gallifet took the command, gallop-
ed to the road and rolled down the
embankment with his. horse. Lying
on his back with a sprained muscle in
his leg. he shouted TO his men to stop.
adding:
"'Send me the colonel"
"The colonel came up from the tail
Of the squadron.
"'ColOnel. you were right. I am a
ID fool! You may take the COM
mand of your regiment again."
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
Rented Weddinu Cakes

There was something wrong with the
cake, the baker said. 1t looked all
right, and It smelled all right, but his
artistic sense told him it would not
taste all right.
Then fix 1t up with an extra coat of
icing and We will keep it for a renter"
said the proprietor.
who In the world would rent a
cake" some one asked.
wedding parties" said he. "They
want big cake In the center of fine
table for show, but cake of that size
good enough for wedding would cost
more than they can afford to pay, so
they order fine cake put up in individ.
ual boxes for the guests and use the
brides cake just as an ornament. They
don't buy it; they rent 1t. Sometimes
cake is rented a dozen different
times. After each wedding 1t is fresh
ened up with new coat of icing and
looks as good as new for the next oc.
CASTOR. A good renter fetches about
- a wedding. York Press.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
FIRST TYPEWRITER.
Il Was a Clumsy Machine and Prae-
tieaIly Useless.

tieaIly Useless.
Most persons will be surprised to
learn that the typewriting machine is
not, as they imagine, distinctly mod
ern invention. So long ago as 1I14 a
patent was taken out in England by
Henry Mill for "a machine for i'm
pressing letters singly and progressive
ly as In writing. whereby all writings
may be engrossed in paper so exact as
not to be distinguished from print"
His machine was, however, a clumsy
one and practically useless. 1t was
not until over a century later QS29)
that anything more in this line was
attempted Then the first American
typewriter, called ''typographer," was
patented by W. A. Burt
In 1923 a machine was produced in
France having a separate key lever
for each letter, and between the years
1910 and 1860 Sir Charles MILESTONE
invented several machines which are
now preserved in the South Kensing-
ton museum, London.
In 1873 c. l.. Sholes, an American,
after five or six years work. succeed
ed in producing a machine sufficiently
perfect to warrant extensive manu-
facture. He interested firm Of gun
manufacturers in it. and in 1874 the
first model of the modern typewriter
was put upon the market.-Cincinnau
Commercial Tribune.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
A Different Idea.

A well known man had lectured
upon color blindness, and at the con-
clusion Of his remarks a collier, who
had evidently not grasped his expla-
nations, asked him IL he would ex-
plain.
Certainly" said the professor.
"Wot is this cutler blindness, then ~
SWELL" replied the learned gentle
man, holding up piece Of red colored
glass, ''supposing that when you look
at this you imagine it is green. That
would be an instance"
That's cutler blindness, do yer
say? replied the man, with a look of
contempt. Il should call it blessed ig-
Reconsideration Mail.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1911-02-16
Real Estate Transfers.

Mutual Building and Homestead AS
ISOLATION to Mrs. Albert J. Gerard, 10
Olivier, Vallette, Alix and Pelican, 81,
S3S terms. Rebentisch, notary.
Adam J. Haaser ct al to Firemen':
Bldg. Assn, lot Pacific, Elmire, Eliza
and Evelina; cash.
Purchaser TO Edward L. Stenger
minor, same property, $1,4SO terms
Zengel, notary.
Mrs. Edw. Barrett to Mark o. Carey
lot Socrates, Ptolemy. Numa and Gen
Meyer, $500 cash. Mahoney, notary.
Joseph Hill to John d. Nix, Jr., LOT
Webster, Diana, Wagner and Dear.
mas, $3.50 cash.
James p. Dougherty and wife to Mrs.
Lee G. Lowe, 2 lots, Atlantic, Pacific,
Diana and DeArmas, $500 cash. Ma,
honey, notary.
Ernestine Brown to Pierre David,
one-half interest in lot in Cutoff
Road, cash $780, Seymour, notary.