Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1911-08-25
MICROBES.


>.
MICROBES.
"a news item states that an emf
nent professor in an eastern college
has just discovered microbes on the
handles Of baby cabs, which greatly
~endanger the nursemaids who push
them).
oh, listen to the scientist, fair nurse,
before you grab
The old familiar handle of the baby
cab.
He has found the deadly microbes wko
are making it their lair
The same as he has found them here
and there and everywhere.
here and there and everywhere.
He has found them on the doorknob
and upon the razor hone.
He has found them In the drinking cup
and in the telephone.
He has found them on the dollar bills
n on the mantel clock.
He has found them In the p~honograph
and in the cookie crock.
He has found them in the coffee pot
and on the chandelier.
He has found them in the cedar chest
and on the chiffonier.
He has found them in the auto horn
oilA Oh Ni2G watch LAl Nllciils
He has found them on the necktie pin
and on the walking cane.
He has found them on the monkey
wrench and on the pocket knife.
The fact is, he's been hunting up these
microbes all his life,
And it is pretty safe to bet that, in
the future state,
He Will try to find some microbes
cIinging to the pearly gate,
-
OUR IDEAS OF WEALTH.
Knowing n man who knows a man
whose second cousin owns al automo-
bile.
Getting a folder from a trans-Atlan-
tic steamship line.
Being invited to invest in a western
silver mine scheme.
Living next door to a man who
wears silk pajamas.
Having someone ask us what our
high golf score is.
Having sirloin steak once a week.
Being acquainted with a man who
used to sell oil for John ID. Rockefeller.
Getting letters with isinglass fronts.
Having two pairs of trousers at n
time.
Having enough pearl studs to fill a
shirt.
Hearing Caruso on the photograph
SOME FAMOUS A~FFINITIES.
Portia and Bassanio.
Ham and Eggs.
Pygmalion and Galatea.
Potash and Perlmutter.
Romeo and Juliet.
Liver and Bacon.
King Manuel and Gaby Deslys.
Punch and Judy.
Corned Beef and Cabbage
Jack and Jill.
Hamlet n Ophelia.
Fever and Ague.
Beefsteak and Onions.
Antony and Cleopatra.
Pork and Beans.
-
AS THE EXPERTS VIEW IT.
Our standing army's on the blink, our
navy is about to sink.
The ranks are filed with sreenhorns
who do not know how to fight.
We may be wiped out any hour by
some aggressive foreign power.
Ills hardly safe to go to bed and close
our eyes at night,
Our soldiers don't know how to shoot.
Our cities. filled with golden loot,
Would fall to any peevish realm a
very easy prey.
That's what our fighting experts claim,
who think they know the army
game,
But still there's not a foreign power
which seems to think that way
Our fighting force Is but a joke. The
hardened cynics love TO poke
Their fine sarcastic shafts at it and
get their nanles in print
The Nicaraguan army could o'errun
our country IL 1t would
And kidnap raft and Sherman both.
and walk off with the mint.
The spirit of II troops is damp. They
couldn't lick a postage stamp.
III anyone should start TO shoot, we'd
merely have to dance.
'Twould be the sofrost sort OF dnch
70 grab this country every inch.
But still. there is no foreign power
that wants 10 take a chanca-
49,
MARY.
Mary had q little waist
six-inch ode. YOU know:
Ard everywhere the Fashions went.
That waist was sure to 90.
Her waist, with woman always a
One Of her patent charms.
sometimes 4 ~ around, her kness.
Aouseumes heneakh her jar7ns.
4& tM 4W*1M ## EMMHNN MN4AHNM*xMHs