davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
MAKES RATHER A BAD START
No Doubt Boy Meant Well, but His In
itiai Efforts at Keeping 4 Diary
Are Impressive.


This is my first dry SO don't mind
the spellin. l wus'nt goin to right 1t
till . little while longer. only. this
morning was rainy and my ma sed.
William. why don't you begin your
dry. this will be 4 good day to be-
gin. and It will keep you out Of mis-
chif?" I sed alright. so i went up
stairs and got my big brother Johns
stamp album and began pulling out
the stamps SOS could right John
says his stamps are worth lot OF
money but | don't believe 1t cause
when he wanted to buy football the
other day why didn't he sell EN- and
get the money. Anyhow don't want
him to catch me as l have started
righting In It, The first thing in a
dry is the date so will now right It,
October 26, 191l-When began this
dry l forgot to tell you that l bor-
rowed my sisters pink hair-ribbon to
hold the leaves to-gther more. and.
when big brother John came home |
heard him yell awful when he couldn't
find his album so l ran upstairs to the
attic behind big trunk where he
cant find me. ! just now heard my
sister come in and I'm SO scared !
darst not go down stairs now and I'm
afraid to right anymore so I'll have
to creep in the trunk and stay till he
goes. I'll continu my dry to-morrer.
Newark IN. j. Star.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
suslns.. lnstIne. strong.

A photographer tells as a joke on
himself that woman. accompanied
by a little boy. come into his studio
the other day. II want my pickcher
took" she said. ~ see that you take
pickchers for four dollars a dozen this
week, 80 come fer mine. And
want this little boy took in the same
pickers with me-" Yes, madam
but. Of course. we make an extra
charge outside this special rate when
two pictures are taken at once" "Oh.
says the lady. but I'll keep the boy
in my lap. That's the way do In the
street cars. and nobody ever says
anything"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
WalI plsposed.

A well-known expert in cooking en-
countered trouble In a suburban COM
munity the other afternoon when she
prepared to lecture to the Mothers
club. Her subject was How to Cook .
She began by telling how much a man
appreciates good cooking. and then
she proposed to give various recipes.
Among the FIRST was one for cold
slaw. ITO have this best" began the
lecturer. take q good-hearted cab.
bage and"
At this point a young matron inter
rupted. She was eager to get all the
Information possible. Tell me.
please" she spoke up. how is one to
know the disposition OF a cabbage!"-
Philadelphia Times.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
PHYSICIAN ADVISES
CUTICURA REMEDIES

-Four years ago I had places break
out ON my wrist and on my shin which
would itch and burn by spells. and
scratching them would not seem to
give any relief. When the trouble first
began. my wrist and shin itched like
poison. 1 would scratch those places
until they would bleed before l could
get any relief. Afterwards the places
would scale over. and the flesh un-
6erneath would look red and feverish.
Sometimes It would begin to itch until
It would waken me from my sleep.
and l would have to go through the
scratching ordeal again.
Our physician pronounced 1t dry
eczema" used an ointment which
the doctor gave me. but 1t did no good.
Then he advised me to try the Cuti-
cura Remedies. Al this trouble has
been In our family for years. and IL
considered hereditary. felt anxious
to try to hesd It on. ] got the Cuti-
cura Soap. Ointment and Pills. and
they seemed to be Just what needed.
Tho disease was making great
headway on my system until I got
the Cuticura Remedies which have
cleared my skin Of the great pest
From tho time tho eczema healed four
years ago. until now. have never felt
any Of its pest. and I am thankful to
the Cuticura Soap and Ointment which
certainly cured me. always use the
Cuticura Soap for toilet. and l hope
other sufferers from skin diseases will
use the Cuticura Soap and Ointment"
(Signed) Irven Hutchison. Three Riv.
ers. Mich. Mar. 1e. 1911. Although
Cuticura Soap and Ointment are sold
by druggists and dealers everywhere.
Q sample Of each. with 32-page book.
will be mailed FREQ on application to
"Cuticura." Dept II K. Boston.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
ne,,h.n Nation. Invent Nothing.

Bishop Thoburn who has been a
missionary in India for SO years. and
knows India better than any other liv-
Ing American. says: III you visit the
patent once at Washington. you will
see 500 improvements on the plow.
India has not invented one improve
ment on the toothpick in 1000 years.
The nations without God have no In
ventivc faculty. They are almost uni
versally the savage, unenlightened ma
tions OF the earth"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23

-slotAeral >ede . pile of money In
that gold MI this. didn't he's" asked
Willoughby
'Yes-about five million" said Hick
eaiooper.
"what's he doing now!" asked VII
boughby.
"Oh. he's resting on his ore." said
Hickenlooper.
II was upon presentation OF the
above under oath that the court 40
quilted Willoughby Of assault and bat
terry on the ground OF extreme provo.
cation.-Harper's Weekly.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
A BRAIN WORKER.
Must Have the Kind Of Food That
Nourlshes Brain.

Il am a literary man whose nervous
energy IL a great part OF my stock in
trade. and ordinarily have little pa
tience with breakfast foods and the
extravagant claims made OF them. But
l cannot withhold my acknowledg-
ment of the debt that owe to Crate
Nuts food.
Il discovered long ago that the very
bulkiness Of the ordinary diet was not
calculated to give one a clear head,
the power of sustained, accurate think
Ing. 1 always felt heavy and sluggish
in mind as we'll as body after eating
the ordinary meal, which diverted the
blood from the brain to the digestive
apparatus.
Il tried foods easy OF digestion. but
found them usually deficient in nutri-
ment. experimental with many break
fast foods and they, too. proved un-
satisfactory. till reached Grape-Nuts.
And then the problem was solved.
"Grape-Nuts agreed with me per.
fectly from the beginning, satisfying
my hunger and supplying the nutri-
ment that SO many other prepared
foods lack.
81 had not been using 1t very long
before found that was turning out
an unusual quantity and quality OF
work. Continued use has demonstrate
ed to my entire satisfaction that
Grape-Nuts food contains the elements
needed by the brain and nervous sys'
TEN OF the hard working public wri-
ter" Name given by Postum Co. Bat
tie Creek, Mich.
There's reason" and 1t is ex-
planned in the little book, THE ROAD
to Wellville," In pkgs.
Ever read the aAove letterf new
one appears FROM dme to time. They
are Eenaine, true, and full ef human
interest.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
Best None Too GOOD.

A social leader at Narrangansett was
arranging for q musical and called .
local professor" into consultation.
Il think" he said. wed better have
two first violins. two seconds"
mo-" said the prospective hostess.
II wish to spare no expense. Let u
have only first violins. II you please. /"
-PhiladelphiA Ledger.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
III, Wor,dIv Goods.

At an "army wedding" In Topeka re-
Gently the service had proceeded to the
line. with all my worldly goods I
thee endow." The candidate for rat
rimony repeated 1t. There" remarked
another lieutenant who was q guest.
there goes his bicycle.'-Kansas City
Star.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
Good News.

"What did ma say to you when you
came int" inquired Johnny to his
friend who had come to tea
"She said she was very pleased to
see me"
I'm glad" said Johnny in a relieved
tone. "'Cos she said this morning she
hoped you wouldn't come!"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
Not oo,ne.

You're going to the smoker to-
night. aren't you?"
Nope"
why, the boys are expecting you.
Didn't you promise them you'd be
there?"
Yes. intended to be present. but
you see. we have the recall system in
our family. and my wife has just eI
ercised It."
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
Not TO Mention Motors

n Not to WentIon Motoro.
"Sincs I'm married I realize how
money Il kept in circulation"
Wen. let's have your chunk Of wis
DOM"
There's the spring hat, the summer
vacation. the fall gown and the holi-
day shopping. Herald.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
leary.

come and see our apiary?
Mrs. B. (who has been putting II off
all the afteTnoon)-Well. Mrs. A.. the
truth II. you know. lin rather afraid
Of monkeys."-Christian Intelligencer.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
Wise Ma.

ma, why don't you keep out Of the
parlor! Things are running smoothly
now"
you amt engaged yet, daughter.
md your ma knows that young man
ho finds things running smoothly II
3pt to get bored and quit"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
boMEsEEKERs excURsI
RATES TO TEXAS AND NEW
MEXICO POINTS DUR.

On the first and third Tuesdays Of
each month during the entire year
The Colorado and Southern Rail-
way viii sell round trip homeseekers'
excursion tickets to . great many
points In New Mexico and Texas at
greatly reduced rates. Final limit
Is days allowing liberal stop-over
privileges. For detailed information,
rates, ETC., call on your nearest Colo.
RADIO and Southern agent or address +.
Il. Fisher. General Passenger Agent.
Denver. Colo.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
On the Wrone Train,

On the Wrong Train.
She-Nd you ever get on . train
whom It was moving?
He-Yes-once.
She-What was the sensation?
He-Ripping-for the woman.-Wo-
mans Home Companion.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
ouaeki ouaekI

Gyer-Dr. Cubeb's wife wanted to
raise ducks this summer. but he
wouldn't stand for 1t.
Mycr-Why not?
Gycr-He objects to ducks because
Of the personal remarks they make.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
H,s Exact Location.

"Wombat was at the opera last
night"
"Ah. you saw him drinking in the
melody"
mo; when I saw him he was drink
ing In the ''-Courier-Journal.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
ohIpwreck Today.

Captain. 10 there much danger?"
Not . particle. A moving picture
outfit will soon be along and rescue u
after they have taken q few films"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23

Smile on wash day. That's when you us,
Red Cross Bag Blue. Clothes whittier thai
snow. All groccrs.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
HIs honsxed Manner.

"T notice Mr.. Comeup has such .
honeyed manner and way OF talking
lately"
"Oh. that's because running for Of
flee is now the bee in his bonnet"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
Couldn't Wait.

Tom-Did her last husband die?
Jack-No: he resigned. = Boston
Transcript.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23

The man who 10 envious Of evil
doers will soon be one himself.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
A Lon0 Face.

A Long Face.
The pessimist IL never gay:
His face is long and grave.
He really ought to have to pay
A quarter for q shave.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
lenses,

lenses.
Teacher-Tommie. what is the fu
ture OF Il give?"
Tommie-"You take."-Life.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
Aplcultural.

Mother-Yes, Johnny. the queen bee
Is boss.
Johnny = How about the presiden-
tial bee?
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23

Miss Antique have SO much on
my mind; l wish / knew what to do
for relief.
Miss Caustique- not remove
your switch7
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23

non LOOK pst,;s r. 8. s,ns. si 1E:
log mailed free. Cor. 18th Blake. Denver
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-11-23
RIeaslna oeevpatlon.

~ Rjoasin9 ocevp
-slothers >eds pile
,Sis %aosssss sSs NJ this did
.Yes-about five milic
whats . doing now
':sas' oh. he. resting on
Hckenooper.
1T. II ~. ,s.su upon IN - present .ss1
Quilted quite 'aSns wiiioushsy .aiS ,a-s Of =.
.saS sstIos1asr1s9'. on ias 1s91nS wssl, ss i
Not Doing
nl.ss s! .ssas ss soa's : ~
why boys
Didn't you promise tn
"Yes. intended to b
you We have the re-
our family and my wifi
His Worldly O
At army wedding"
line with ali my wo
thee endow." The cand
.nosSsr .asns 'sssstss fsstsn.nt 1T ,1ss ~ho
q there goes his bicycle
Best None
A social
arranging for . musical
Local ,Anp.s sps9.siser. ns said. into @we ce
two sNnn first VIC viSl'ns ms: two S,o.ss Sc.
'I spare exp
Hi. Ex.e. Loci
"wombat at tn
AZ him DR.
NO: when him
ing in the bar."-courieI
His Honsyed NJ,
T notice Mr.. Concur
honeyed manner and "
.oh that's because r,
flee is the in
ou.ekl ou.e
aysr-Dr. cubebs wi
us ~ouiana aasa. stand 'aes for it s'~
Gyea-He sysrlMns object. aee. to
Of the personal remarks
shpwr.ek To-
Captain. is there mue
OUTFIT will be along
after they have taken =
Not to Mention
"sinc. I'm I'm married 1.st., ;!
Wen let's have your
There's tn. spring
day shopping" s"-washn
Couldn't W.
Tom-Dd her last hui
J.ehLNo: he resign
Lsary.
Mrs. A.-Now. Mrs.
come and see our apal, a
all the afternoon)-we
truth IL, you know I'm
monkeys."-Christian
Long Fac
The pessimist IL
His face is long n
He really ought to b
quarter for st
On the Wrong
She-Dd g
whom It moving?
He-Yes-once
She-What the
He-Ripping-for the
mans Home Companion
Wise Ma
ma why you
parior! Things rum
engaged
- ,Apd knows that
- ~ ho finds things runnin
- 3pt get bored and gu
Good News
"What did
int" inquired Jo
friend to
"she said she We
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
CEDAREDGH COMMENTS

From the Surface Greek Champion
J. II. Witt is expected this week
from Denver to reside.
Leonard Gipe departed the fore
part of the week tor Idaho where
the Gipe brothers have purchased
ranch.
DIR. f. A. Hamilton left Tues
day for Ouray where he will ac-
cept position in the Camp Bird
hospital for a couple of months
after which he will return TO Ce.
daredge.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
Real Estate Transfers

Warranty deeds recorded during week
ending March II. 1911, furnished by The
Delta County Abstract Company.
Charles A Lemon to G ii Williams, 1912
acres uear Crawford, $4,000.
John Reed to n Markley. tract near
Delta, -, 1878.
Mary Lee to G II Heckinger, 10 acres
near Crawford, 81.
b o Norris to NJ Kirton, 40 acres near
Paonia, 81.
ID Walter Thomas to II Smith, lots
Hotchkisss, 5000.
Z EP Barrow to j Barrow, 10 acres near
Hotchktss, $1,000.
W S Coburn to X /. McMullin. 10 acres
near Paonia, 81 900
Theodore A Burnett to Reed, 30 acres
Delta, -, 800.
May Ferne Remington TO IL A Reynolds ct
al, 80 acres near Delta, $4,000.
Mary Z Eley to Z W Perkins, acres near
Crawford, Sl,4O0.
Maud L Spore ct al to W L spore. 10 acres
near Paonia, 81.
Ehe VI Wayman TO j B McHugh, y acre
near Cedaredge, S115.
Maud l. spore ct al to j II Gainey, 80
acres near Paonia, 81.
John II Conner to Z Weed, l lot Cedar
edge, <215-
L c Fry to NJ Bird, 2 lots Paonia, 80.
George Ceilings to Hawkey, = lots in
Paonia, 81 $50.
James ID Smith to V Ebert, 30 nere- near
Crawford. x3,4 400.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

At last Teddy has said some
thing not only sensible but ap-
propriate In speech he deliv-
cred in Arizona he said that he
did not approve the recall pre-
vision of their constitution, but
that congress should admit the
territory as a state without regard
to whether congress approved the
provision. Since toe people OF
Arizona want the recall, they
should have it.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

We are not much given to
pointing to awful examples or
drawing morals from everyday
life but the following seems to
justify departure from the regu-
lar. Quite a good many years
ago Frank Work transgressed the
rules of the school and got fog
ging for 1t. Instead of mending
his ways he ran off and found his
way to New Orleans. Like a vag
abond. he finally wound up in
New York City, the city full of
wickedness By all the canons he
should have graced gibbet, but
he died few days ago leaving
$20.000,000 to his outraged rela-
tives. Moral1 None whatever,
except that you can't tell how Ia
lousy calf may come out in the
spring.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
Colorado Piano Buyers
Save $50 to 500

BY buying direct. Big 1911 Illus
trated catalogue now ready for mail
ing. This new catalogue contains
puch Information OF value to every
intending buyer. and Will he sent
free. When you write. II you viii
mention instrument interested I'm
ana tell us your exact wants. this
VIII assist us greatly in furnishing
the Information desired without the
necessity OF any delay. Thlrty-scven
years reputation and strongest DOS
sible guarantee behind your dealings
with us. Let our Easy Pay Plan
simplify the purchase for you. Write
us now before you forget. Address
knight-Campbell Music Co. Denver.
Colo, Dept. "a" a0.at
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

Talk about sand, how's this. A
fellow up at Cheyenne was put in
the pest house with smallpox. He
had made arrangements to be
married and this seemed to inter
fere, but the lady in the case stood
pat. A minister was summoned
and said the necessary words at a
forty-foot distance. Now they
are tied and the chances are that
nobody will be the worse for
wear, barring accidents.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
DELTA DOINGS

From the Delta County Tribune
On Tuesday evening at z O'Clock
at the brides home in North Del
ia, l.. M. Vansickle and Miss Hat
tie M. Ball were united in mar
rage by Rev. w. J. Sly of the
Baptist church. The groom was
formerly with the Colorado tele-
phone company here and at Pa
onia. but is now an electrician at
Carbondale.
Judge c. Fl. Stewart attended
the cornerstone laying OF the new
Masonic temple at Montrose Sat-
urday.
DIR. and Mrs. J. d. Walker came
down from Gunnison Sunday and
spent several days at their ranch
near Eckert.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

Looking over the situation as
appears from the various papers
published in Grand valley, it looks
very much as if the government
project to build high line canal
is calamity, The proposed route
is. through the very heart of Pali-
sade orchards. Private capital has
other schemes which would save
this valuable land and attain the
same or better results The writer
is familiar with the "lay of the
land" about Palisade and is conf
dent there is no necessity what
ever for invading the orchards
there. Private capital offers to
construct this much desired i'm
provement at much less ccst to
the land owner than the govern
ment proposes. Why the where
ore?
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

If Denver wants that Moffat
tunnel so badly. why not bond
that city for $5.000,00O and build
it1 There would be more reason
in that than to ask the taxpayers
of the state to do it. Now that
Moffat is dead the chances are
that his road will 60 into the
hands of the d. & R. G. and that
the Dotsero cutoff will be built.
Let the railroad that is to use the
tunnel build it.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

yer last Monday. where he goes
on business.
1t is reported that w. l.. Savage
has sold his bunch of cattle to T..
A. Browne and Lee Savage.
Rev. |. N. Parvin left here for
Clifton. Colorado, last Saturday
morning. where he goes to hold a
series of revival meetings.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

We hear a good deal about the
prospects for war with Japan. The
average person doesn't pay any
attention to it. But one of the
good things resulting from the
rumors is that Japanese are leav-
ing the country in large numbers
presumably to be where they can
get into the scrap against US. All
right. If they are wanting drub-
bing, they can get it by calling on
Uncle Sam. We never had much
of a standing army, never needed
one, but when scrap is in sight
there are always plenty of scrap
pers showing up, and scrappers
that scrap.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
One on the Mouse

A woman in harem attiring
In the mirror her form was admiring
When a little mouse came
On the scene, and the dame
Simply smiled and said: 1--WE blocked
your game, Sir mousey, and you
may as well retire to your holei in
the wall. Nothing doing here in
your line. Skidoodle. and stand
not upon the order of your retiring"
james Barton Adams.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
HOTCHKISS HAPPENINGS

From the Hotchkiss Herald
Mrs. T. c. Moritz and children
of PaonIa came down last Satur.
day and spent several days visit
ing relatives here.
Commissioner Roberts and w.
R. Gale were here the first of the
week looking after the matter of
building the new bridge over Le-
roux creek.
T. A. Lorenzen of Omaha and
his son were here the first of the
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
From the North Fork Times

From the North Fork Times
Assessor S. l.. Cockreham was
up from Delta the first of the
week.
Porter Nelson OF Denver was
here last week looking after his
interests on Grand View mesa.
Clayton Ottinger left Tuesday
morning for his old home in Ten
nessee. where he will farm few
months and then return to this
valley.
George Campbell. wife and
mother spent Sunday at Jayson
Hanson's at Paonla.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
From the Delta Independent

From the Delta Independent
One Delta girl claims to have
put the germs on diet by giving
up kissing during lent.
Dean d. Clark left Sunday af-
ternoon on a business trip to
Grand Junction and Glepwood
Springs.
Floyd Schmid and Miss Edith
Newman of Paonia came down on
Saturday and spent Sunday with
Floyd's parents. They say they
are not married-yet.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

Now it is said that St. Patrick
was an Englishman. After all
these years it is rather late to
make discovery like that. Any
loyal Irishman will recognize it
as dirty English trick"
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

MY new Farm Implements are be-
ginning to arrive. Come and see
them before bnying. Parker Balcb.
Implement Store.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

So the legislature is getting
down to business. Important if
true, but most of US are from Mis-
souri,.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
CRAWFORD CHRONICLES

From the Crawford Chronicle
Luther Collins made trip to
Paonia last Wednesday.
w. d. Gould left here for Den
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

week and purchased the Frank
Douglass place on Rogers mesa.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

Don't fail to attend the Briney Re-
cital' M. E. Church tomorrow night.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24

Entered at the postofiice in Paonia, Colo
RADIO for transmission through the mails as
0econd-class matter.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
U. S. Department Of Agriculture
WEATHER BUREAU

Voluntary Observers Meteorological Record
For the week ending Mar. %. 1911
and corresponding week OF 1910
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-24
STATE OF COLORADO
COUNTY OF DELTA
TatxH nr pAnrr.

nomna
to be hd
Colorado
of
this o 'N''
MYRTLE PAIST, TowNR RHcoRnrp
Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1911-11-25
TALKED TO MIDDIES.
Mr.. Fairchild Lectures AT Naval Aca-
DENY On "The Ethics OF Sport

ilr. Milton Fairchild, of Baltimore,
delivered an illustrated lecture on
'1he Ethics OF Sport" before the
mi lshipmen of the Naval Academy
last night in the auditorium.
/ II was lecture that has been given
at Harvard, University and in Missouri
and other colleges in the interests of
spcrtsmanhip. The lecture was ap-
propriate in view of the Army-Navy
football game today.
Besides having delivered the lecture
at Harvard University, Mr.. Fairchild
has given this lecture at Union Col
lege, Oberlin College, University of
Missouri, Universities of North Da-
kota and South Dakota, Agricultural
College, and has been indorsed by the
Poe otball Rules Committee as giving
the accepted view Of sportsmanship
am mong the older sportsmen in Amer
lea and England.
The lecture is based on photographs
take n from athletic events in coll ege
and high school work, and has exer-
cist great influence in reducing the
amount of brutality and unfairness in
college and school sports.