davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

Second sight may be a good thing.
but it is usually the man with the
first sight who knocks down the
persimmon.-Chicago News.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04
Little Mary.
airy had a little jam,

Mary had a little jam.
She smeared some on her nose;
When Mary's ma came home at
night-Well. what do you suppose?
S. E. Kiser. aa
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04
Chinese Missionary.

Rev. G. P. Bostick, for II years a
Baptist missionary in China, will
preach three times Sunday at the
Baptist church.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

To settle bet, we would like to
inspect the pedometer Bill Reed US
ed while he was running.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04
STATE Of Ohio. City Of Toledo. ..
IlIeaa CounfV

Frsnk J. Cheney makes oath that he u senior
sTtnsr of the arm Of y. ,. Cheney a Co.. doing
sslnssa In ths city Of Toledo. County and Stats
.Aforoaald. and that hAid firm win pay the sum Of
ons Hundred Dollars for each and every ease Of
.CatArrh that eannOt BE- cured b. the uhs u Halls
C4t4rrh Cure. FRANK =. CHENEY.
Sworn 10 before me and subscribed In my trta-
saos. this eth day u December, A. d.. iss5.
t., A. W. GLEASON,
hotafy Puzzle.
hairs C4tarrh Cure 4 taken internally. ADD acis
directly 10 ths bod and mucous surfaces u tbs
cgsiann. Sad fof tasth1onlals frss.
~. CHENEY a Co. Tolsao. o.
80 ~ ~ dFssslsi. 10.
Isks nAifsTsn1y "a. g. soasuDsilsa.
s~r~~ - - w. 80 -
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

What pity Senator Jimmy O'Gor-
mans election couldn't have taken
place on the seventeenth of March.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

The man you now see in the lime
light is Speaker Beauchamp Clark.
formerly known as Champ.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04
Alabama STYLE.

Alb Johnson, a negro who assault
ed a white woman at Union Springs,
Ala, was taken from Jail and lynch
ed.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

A man admires his wife's relatives
If they are rich and distinguished.
It's funny how much fun there
isn't in doing things we have to do.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

The Iowa Legislature will adjourn
April IL and indications are that the
senatorial deadlock will continue to
the end of the session.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

II reports are true Postmaster
General Hitchcock is not giving all
of his attention to mail matters.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

We congratulate Assistant Secre-
tary of State Robert A. Cook on
giving up a job to accept position.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

The early bud gets caught by the
future worm.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

Unless objections are raised Spring
may now proceed.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

IL is now up to the man from Mis-
souri, to show us.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

perhspa Big Bill couldn't Reed his
title clear.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

Better a self-made man than a
machine-made politician.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04

During the month of February,
1853 207 pounds of tobacco were
sold on the Danville, Va, market.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1911-04-04
H. C. MEYERS
STOCK FARM
HIGH BOYD No. 2154
A, s, III. REGISTER. Vol. 5

A. -. III. REGISTER. Vol.
Will make the season of 1911 at my farm the
Russellvile pike, 2 miles east of Hopkinsville, at
SIS to insure mare In foal, or $40 to insure
living colt provided mare not transferred; IT
transferred before fOaling time forfeits insurance
and money must be paid.
PEDICREE--HghB Boyd was sired by High
Wave 1241 he by Duluth 70, he by CabbclTs
Lexington F. S., he by Gist's Black Hawk, he by
Blood's Black Hawk, he by Vermont Black
Hawk he by Sherman Morgan, he by Justine
Morgan, etc.
High Waves first dandy Miller's Lexington
As, he by Cabbelrs Lexington F. S.
High Boyds first dam, Adah Crutchfield 1909
(Vol 81 sired by Lynn Boyd A., he by Tom
Boyd go, he by Cabbells Lexington F. S. (See
extended above.)
Lynn Boyds first dam John Waxey 100, he
by Van Meters Waxey F. S., second dam by
Imported Leviathan [th.]
Tom Boyd 90, first dam by Woodpecker It'll
john Waxey's first dam by by Pilot second dam by,
Canadian
Gloucester County Democrat., 1911-10-12


poses, SO that the expenditures for
State charitable and governmental
purposes will actually be less under
the present administration than for
the preceding year. A conservative es-
innate will show that on Oct. 81, 1911,
the end of the States fiscal year, there
will be in the State treasury free
balance of at least two million, five
hundred thousand dollars, a balance
never equalled under Republican ad-
ministration.
Thirteenth We favor safeguarding
railway travel as far as possible, and
therefore pledge ourselves to the pas
sage of law to accomplish the pur-
pose contemplated in the Full Crew
BILL which failed to pass the last
Republican Senate.
Gloucester County Democrat., 1911-10-12
HuRFFYILLE.
David Davis slaughtered his pen

David Davis slaughtered his pen of
porkers on Wednesday.
Wesley Handle accompanied by
Mrs. Volney Handle, of Pitman, left
for California on Tuesday; they will
be gone two months.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles H. Doran,
accompanied by Miss Jennie Mathis,
of Tuckerton, spent Saturday and
Sunday at Phoenixville, Pa.
John H. Carol has moved into
Charles Turner's tenant house vacated
by Frank Mahan.
Benjamin Epley's house which is
undergoing extensive repairs, and be-
ing made as large again as it was, is
nearing completion.
James r. Jones slaughtered his pen
of porkers on Wednesday.
The Sacrament of the Lords Sup
per was administered at the M. E..
Church last Sunday morning.
The work in constructing the new
road has been delayed because one
half of the asphalt has been condemn
ed. as after thorough trial it was
proven unsatisfactory.
Mr.. and Mrs. David j. Richards,
the newly-weds, will be given a rous-
ing serenade this Saturday night.
The invitation sent out by the Lad
les Auxiliary to those interested in
the Bethel Cemetery, soliciting a con-
tribution for the church painting fund
have at this time received about sixty
four dollars.
In an address Rev. H. ]. Conover
thinks Governor Wilson was justified
in condemning the song Beautiful
Isle of Somewhere"
Mr.. and Mrs John w. Barrett cele-
hrated their sixth wedding anniver-
sary on last Saturday evening, it be-
ing a surprise on behalf of Mrs. Bar
reft. Al very enjoyable evening was
spent, and a pretty collection of USE
f,,l presents received. At a reason
able hour the guests were invited to
the dining room where there was a
bountiflll supply for the innerman.
Ask jim if he is ready for his fifth
nlafe of ice cream. Those present
who enjoyed the occasion were: Mr..
and Mrs. John w Barrett, Mr.. and
Mrs. Benjamin Barrett, Mr.. and
Mrs G.. A. Shaw, Mr. and Mrs. John
y shaw, Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Bo-
Earth. Mr.. and Mrs. George Wurst,
Mr. and Mrs. John Wurst, Mr.. and
Mrs Brooks Hurff, Mr.. and Mrs.
Albert M Hurff, Mr.. and Mrs Elwood
Hurff, Mr.. and Mrs. James Faust,
Mr.. and Mrs. George Senor, Mrs. Ada
Idhb. Misses Alice Barrett, Merrebe
Barrett. Vera N. Hurff, Iva Bozarth,
mildred Shaw, Lisetta Neuschaffer,
Messrs. Neal Shaw, Theodore Shaw,
Gloucester County Democrat., 1911-10-12
CROSS KEYS.

Mr.. Oliver Mullen and wife, of
Paulsboro, were the guests of Thomas
Duncan and family last Sunday.
Drs. Halsey and Fouder, of Will
Jamestown, removed a tumor from the
wrist Of Mrs. Thos. Duncan last week
and at this writing she is doing very
nicely.
Richard Evans and his son Thomas
have been visiting Gettysburg and
other places of interest.
Hiram Hurff, wife and son Allen
took in the Fair at Mt. Holly last
week.
Mr.. Edward Duncan, who is suffer
ing with cancer in his mouth, is now
confined to his room most of the time.
He has the sympathy OF his many
friends.
John johnson, near Sicklerville, is
gathering his Keiffer pear crop. which
is estimated at about eight thousand
baskets.
Autumnal services will be held in
J. S. Wheeler is having new
shingle roof placed on his store prop
erty.
We regret to record the serious
illness of Mrs. Richard Yapp at the
residence of her daughter, Mrs Con-
over, at Harrisonyille.
Frederick Lang will have public
sale of his personal property on Tues
day, Oct. 18th. He expects to retire
from farming.
The first hay crop in this section
was very light, but the second crop
has nearly made up the deficiency. q
Gloucester County Democrat., 1911-10-12
Where can the entire -
value in
Munger s. Lon8'S-the Answer


We've successfully solved
many footwear problems, even
going into families and giving
them ALL a uniform satisfaction
that they had never been able to
realize before. In some case the
man had been able to get just the
shoe he wanted; sometimes the
LADY had been able to do the
same, and frequently both had
met with disappointment. The
feature of this shoe store that is
responsible for it's widespread
popularity to day is that of giving
year in and year out the same
uniform SATISFACTION to all
the family.
Gloucester County Democrat., 1911-10-12

We have shoes for as much as
SIS. We specialize on men and
women's shoes at $50 and $500.
Our ambition of years has been
to see just how much of the SIS val
ue we can getinto Munger & Long
footwear at $50 and $500 We ln-
vite you i'll to test the satisfaction
of our footwear, to see if at 3. so or
So 90 you can't get what average
shoe stores ask SIS 90 for.
All the new shapes and styles.
all the popular feathers and a per-
feet fit, no matter what the pecul-
iarities of your particular feet.
The sturdiest and vet most
dressy footwear for children, too.
Gloucester County Democrat., 1911-10-12

.Davy'' Baird's Congressional can
didate, VIM. ]. Browning, was in
Woodbury. last Friday looking up
'Dayy's" followers. When. the re-
turns come in on the night of Nov. z,
"Davy1 will know that he can't finn
fam the people of Gloucester county
twice in one campaign, and that's why
VIM. ]. found followers so scarce here
Gloucester County Democrat., 1911-10-12
DEMOCRATIC TICKET.

It's queer how some people forget
their own troubles. and try to find
troubles their neighbors are sup
posed to have. A case in point is
Editor Albright, who is hunting Jim
Smith Democrats" If he can
drown his troubles thus, we advise
him to keep it up.
Gloucester County Democrat., 1911-10-12

Among the bills introduced by As
semblyman Lafferty, and which be-
came a law, was House bill No. 480,
relative to the condemnation of turn
pixies, and their requirement by
counties. Under this law, on petition
to the Governor, a commission of five
is appointed TO view its condition and
fix it's value. If the report of the
commission is favorable to purchase
by the county, the State pays one
third the cost, the municipality 10
per cent, and the county the balance
There was legislation on the statute
books providing for the purchase of
turnpikes, but none made such favor
able terms to the county as the Laf
ferty law, which enabled counties to
acquire turnpikes on the same terms
as new roads are built. The idea or
iginated with Mr.. Lafferty, and met
the approval of the State Commission
and the Legislature.
Gloucester County Democrat., 1911-10-12

$4,000 a year is fairly good sum
for the people of New Jersey to pay
the Governor of the State to make
campaign speeches for Partisan pur-
poses, don't you think so, Mr.. Voter
and Taxpayer .Swedesboro News.
Evidently some one has forgotten
that Mr.. Taft is making another
swing around the circle" and for
what object? And he on 100000
a year salary.
Gloucester County Democrat., 1911-10-12

Burlington County will vote this
Fall Dn reducing their present Board
OF Freeholders 10 three commissioners.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30

The Illustration herewith shows a
new trundle bed which Is designed
either for the tiniest Of new babies or
for one who has reached the dignity
Of three or four years.
1t can be rolled at night so that the
little bed is suspended above the foot
Of mothers bed, just at comfortable
height where she can sit up in bed II
the baby needs her attention and care
for him without getting out Of bed.
When be is ready to go to sleep again
she fastens the openwork hood over
him and knows that he is as safe as
though he were in her arms.
If there is any draft in the room,
a blanket thrown over the hood keeps
1t away from the baby. II there is a
stray fly or mosquito, netting can
be thrown over the hood.
In the daytime the trundle bed can
be rolled out on the porch. 1t can be
adjusted to various heights and can
be put into easily transportable shape
like collapsible gocart.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30

Washington, June 27.-Much impor-
tance is attached to an announcement
by the interior department that the IA
nous Cunningham claims in Alaska.
involving coal lands worth from $780,
100000 to $5O0,OO0,00O, have been or
dered Cancelled by Land Commissioner
bennett, with the approval of the new
secretary of the interior, Walter Fish
er.
The properties have been restored to
the public domain and later will be
opened for re-entry.
BY the action of the interior depart
ment the syndicate, which has tenta-
tive option to take over the claims,
has had a hard blow given it in its
plan for getting firm grip on the
mineral resources Of Alaska.
The announcement is made by attor-
neys for the Cunningham interests
that an appeal will be made to the
courts and that the fight will be car
ried through to the supreme court.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
SAYS HE "MADE GOOD"
That's How His Passport to Heaven
Reads, Says Peary.

That's How His Passport to Heaven
Reads, Says Peary.
Rear Admiral Robert e. Peary de-
hvered a long address at the com
mencement exercises of Rensselaer,
Polytechnic institute. at Troy, N. T.,
in which he reviewed the attempts
made since 1920 to discover the north
pole and his own success In 1909 In
attaining "the gaunt frozen apex of
the earth" He went into much detail
about his experiences In the twenty.
three years he was working on bis
dream" and In closing said:
"Were ] a ragged beggar in the
streets today, without a friend in the
world. could hug my dream to my.
self and feed and warm and clothe
myself with the thought, 4 have made
good
sand when the end comes can
knock at the gates on the other side
and, with head erect, offer as my pass.
nort, 4 have made good"
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
Caulifiower au Gratip.

Boil fine caulifiower tender in milk
and water mixed in equal proportions
and salted. Prepare a white sauce,
diluted with milk to a creamy consist
ency. When cooked tender break the
caulifower into clusters, put a layer
into a baking dish, sprinkle with
grated parmesan and moisten with
sauce. Repeat to form a second layer
Scatter breadcrumbs over all and dot
with bits Of butter. Bake golden
brown. Meanwhile prepare garnish
Of hard boiled eggs in the following
manner: Boil four eggs hard. separate
the yolks and whites. Rub the yolks
to cream with bit of butter and sea-
son with salt, paprika and nutmeg.
Add some finely minced ham or chick
en- and form the mass into little balls.
When the gratin is baked set the dish
in paper gratin holder and garnish
with the tiny egg balls, laid on pieces
of chopped hard boiled whites, and
serve very hot, cs,,~za.,,gaAis,sl .a,.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
HUMOROUS QuIPs
The Office Boys Metamorphosis

The girl who runs the switchboard smiled
at me.
/ wonder II she'd answer Yes" or mo
II should ask to take her to a show?
The boss looked up this morning an said.
Gee,
It's marvellous the way that boy does
growl"
The blond stenog downstairs looked up
an smiled
When 1 came in an called mo mister -
too,
An in her sweetest voice said "Howdy
do?"
The other day she used to call me Child. ''
Ill make a hit with her before I'm
through.
The sporting editor came in an hour ago
An shook my hand an slapped my back
an said
AT last, ] see. you've made the big
league. Fred.
Don't let the bleechers scare you. Stick
an show
Your pluck. That is the way I got
ahead"
The office poet-how / hate that mani
Took Off his specs and filed me full Of
con
An gave me good advice to think upon.
II were boss that guy you bet I'd can.
All this because I got long trousers on.
Detroit Free Press.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
KING AT GALA PERFORMANCE
Royalty Attends covent Garden Coro-
nation Offerinu


London, June 27.-The gala perform
ance at the opera carried on the cycle
of coronation splendors. The interior
of Covent Garden, where the perform
ance took place, was eXquisitely deco
rated with hundreds of thousands of
pink and crimson roses set off with a
display of greenery, but the glitter of
the gold lace and the scarlet, blue,
green and white uniforms of the men
and the diamonds and gorgeous toilets
of the women Outshone the decorations
in the eyes of the ordinary onlooker.
The king and queen and members of
the British and other royal families
reappeared for inspection MS on former
days of the festivities, accompanied
by ambassadors, ministers, high Off
cials of the state, the army and the
navy as well as titled leaders of soci-
ETY.. There was not seat vacant in
the house below the gallery.
The performance consisted of selec-
tions from Romeo and Juliet" aida"
and the Barber of Seville" with
Melba, TetraZzini, Destinn, McCor
mick, Bassi and Franz as the interpre-
tiers.
1t is announced that the royal gar
den party at Buckingham palace,
which was scheduled for today, will
be Cancelled if the weather is bad.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
Barley Water.

Barley water is probably one of the
most popular summer drinks in this
country, but many fail to make it ap-
petizing by emitting to flavor it with
little lemon Juice. Wash two ounces
Of barley in cold water and put into a
pan with one pint of cold water.
When It has boiled for fifteen minutes
strain of the water and add two
quarts Of boiling water. Boil till the
liquid is reduced one-half. Strain 1t,
sweeten and favor with lemon juice
to taste.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
Buster Brown Roast.

Place in an uncovered roasting pan
piece Of beef seasoned with salt, one
sliced onion and liberal amount of
cayenne pepper. Add a small amount
Of water and keep adding same as
needed and baste freely When tender
put potatoes with the roast, and when
potatoes are about done cover and
place on top Of the stove for about ten
minutes, or until potatoes are cooked.
Remove meat and potatoes and add
one can of corn and a can of beans to
a small amount of the liquid and make
a brown gravy from the remainder.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
es.s4ssl5.s71Ea.e- s,,s..sss
INDICT PAPER CLUB" MEN.
Federal Crusade In Trust Cases Hits
Box Board Manufacturers.

Box Board Manufacturers.
New York, June PA strong in
dictment under the criminal provision
of the Sherman law has been returned
by the federal grand jury against the
Eastern Box Board club, alleged to be
the successor Of the dissolved Fiber
and Manila association.
The defendants, being individuals
instead of corporations, in the event
of convictions being secured, Mr.. Wise
will urge Jail sciences as well as the
imposition of heavy fines.
, The defendants named in the indict-
ment are: .-s,.,-.-~....-,.--..-
William G. Gear, Troy, N. Y; Henry
Shreiter, Long Island City, N. Y; Will
liam H, Smith, Bogota, N. j.; Sydney
Mitchell, Thamesville, Conn; Chester
town, Nd, and Winchester, Va; Ben
jamin Ward and Frederick NJ. Butler,
Passaic, N. j.; Emmons Bryant, Cas-
Teton, n, Y; Theodore Foster, Utica,
n. Y; William G. Shortess, Haverhill,
Mass; Robert B. McEwan, Whippany.
N. j.; William r. Shaffer, New Haven,
Conn; Henry L. Paddock, Fulton.
N. Y; Samuel A. Short, Jr., Philade-
phia; Charles L. Williams, Piermont.
N. Y; Andrew TAFT, Bridgeport, Conn;
Louis Newman, Tonawanda, N. Y; w.
Howard Richardson, Bogota, n. j.;
Matthias Plum, Jr., Waverly, y. j.;
Frank S. Harrison and j. A. Eyster.
Hallton, w. Va.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30

One quart of ripe Strawberries, one
half pound of seeded raisins, one
quart of granulated sugar, one-half
pound nuts broken up, not too fine,
the pulp and grated rind of two
oranges and one lemon. Put all to-
gether into preserving kettle and
cook slowly for about thirty minutes.
Put into tumblers and seal with paraf-
fin as you seal jelly. This makes a
delicious filling for filled cookies and
for layer cake. A tumbler of this
beaten in one-half pint Of cream
chilled and served in glasses makes
a fine dessert.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
Raised Biscuit

One pint Of milk scalded with table
spoonful Of lard. In a mixing bowl
put three pints of -four with one table
spoonful Of sugar, one teaspoonful salt
and pinch Of soda. When the milk is
cool add a yeast cake. Make hole
in the -four and pour the milk mixture
into 1t and let stand just as it is until
morning, then mix together and let
rise, then knead it. Make into biscuit,
let rise and bake.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
Poor Mans Stew.

Slice thin three or four pieces of
salt pork, fry until brown, then quar-
ter Several Tor as few as desired) on
Ions, place them with pork, cut up few
carrots-or one, according to size-and
turnips, cover with water and boil one
hour. Place potatoes in one-half hour
before the other vegetables are done.
This is a good economy dish.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
Raliahla.

Congratulations, old mani How
much does your new baby weight"
"a ton"
Quit your Kidding"
Honestly. I'm a coal dealer, and I
weighed the boy on my own scales."-
Toledo Blade.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30

Mrs. G. q. Miller has finished a quilt
the upper side of which is made up
entirely Of scenes in the counties of
Baker, Union and Wallowa. She took
the photographs herself and made blue
prints Of them on cloth. and this forms
the cover Of the quilt II required sey.
Orai years to complete this. perhaps the
most unique 1nilt IN the world.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
Mother AZ Her Raat.

81 suppose you hate to see your
daughter marry?" said the young man.
"Yes, do" admitted the father.
"Her mother has made it a point to be
mighty sweet tempered while this
courtship was going on."-Washingtou
Herald.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-30
A PAINTING 70 Order.


John 8. Sargent, the eminent painter,
was being discussed In a Philadelphia
studio.
Sargent" said a magazine illustra-
tor, "gets $4,000 apiece for his portraits.
Well, one day when he was in America
= deputation waited on him and asked
him to paint certain colonel of volun-
teers.
"'For this work. said the spokes-
man, we are willing to pay you, Mr..
Sargent, S2,500'
"'But'- the painter began.
"The spokesman, however, interrupt
ed hastily:
"'Of course, sir, at that price we
would only want half length
"'Oh, very WELL said Sargent. And
which half would you preferp "-Los
Angeles Times.
BY Ear.
Il never wear a stuffed bird on nv
hat nowadays" said Mrs. Lapsling
While | am not a member of the
~NeN'ciS SoNiStss Ill SyuDd
thy with it."-Chicago Tribune.
Such as Paying the Bill.
Kntcker-Books tell you what to do
before the doctor comes.
Bocker-But none tells you what TO
do after he comes.-Judge.
Most of Them Do.
"Talk about consistency! There's
Jorkins. who maintains man should
use the same principles of conduct in
public and private life. asked him if
he approved of the rule of reason
principle, and he said yes"
"Well?"
"Then I asked him if he lived under
the rule of reason in his house, and he
had to say no-under boss rule."-Balti-
more American.