davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
Betty's Breezy Monologue

MARY, declare I'll never come out
IF1 in the trolley cars again after o
o'clock. Yes. 1 know all about how
wrong It is for either desultory or
methodical shoppers to help crowd the
cars during the rush hours. and. I for
one, will never do if aagin.
An unlucky fate seems to pursue me
and prevent me from getting a seat.
somehow.
Now, you know I'm not given to
superstition, but it does seem queer that
always when I have the most bundles
is the time that 1 have to stand all the
way home.
Last week I had to go down town
to match some linen and saw so many
bargains that 1 simply couldn't resist
them. When I was ready to come home
I was just loaded down with small
packages.
Thought 1t Early.
I was sure that 1t couldn't possibly
be later than o'clock. but when tried
TO get into a car I knew that it was at
least half past ). Every seat was taken,
of course, but 1 stopped in front Of
likely looking man, who 1 was sure
would take pity on my burdens and
condition.
But not a bit OF It, Mary: he glanced
at me and went on reading his paper.
When the car stopped with lurch
nearly extfnguished him, and when I
had gathered my packages together
again and begged his pardon for falling
on him, he just glared at me and said
something to the man next to him about
these women who didn't have any
thing to do but dawdle about the shops
and then take up room in the crowded
cars during the rush hours"
l saw right then that there was no
hope of him giving me his place, so 1
looked around and moved up to the
middle Of the car and stood eXpectantly
in front of another male creature who
looked as though he might have more
manners.
Got Up and Left.
And would you believe it, Mary, I'd
no sooner taken my second stand when
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
LORETTA'S LOOKING-GLASS
SHE HOLDS 1T UP TO THE TELEPHONE PEST.

a kind OF disgust for a girl who de-
liberately concocts plan to throw her
self in his way. He reflects on the num-
ber of pay stations in the neighbor-
hood, and politely suppresses a sneer
when the pest telephones to mother that
''she will not be home for lunch"
He grimly sets his teeth and swears
he will not take the hint. But he does
often. 1t is the only way to get rid
of the pest. And, If you nave ever had
experience with her. you will take even
desperate means to be relieved of her.
She has a little way. too, of running
in to use a nelghbor's phone when the
unmarried brother or the bachelor part
neT of the neighbours husband is a
guest. OF course, courtesy prompts an
invitation TO join them at dinner. She
never can-but she always does.
There are only a few pests that can
attain the very COnsummatiOn of pes
tiferOusness as surely as the telephone
pest does. And they use exterminators
on THEM!
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
Now Which of
Them Is Right?

One set Of orators declare
The world is all awry,
While others just as strongly swear
Things are as apple pie.
One does not see in all the mix
A thing to cause delight,
The other says, "Oh, fiddlesticks"
Now. which Of them is right:
According to one set of views,
The world is going wrong;
Another gives us different news
And makes it just as strong.
If 1t is to the dogs we go,
Or jaunt the other way,
How is tho one who doesn't know
To size it up and say?
1t may be neither one is right.
That wouldn't be so strange.
There may be different brands of sight
In this old world of change.
The man who leads an easy life
Is not so apt TO spy
AS one whose ways are toll and strife;
How troubles multiply.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

run after. They detest being run down
and caught. And, If this telephone pest
is not actually running a man down,
right in his own office, and catching
him where he cannot exercise the free
dom of will that he regards as the
right of his masculinity, what is she
doing?
There are girls who seem to think
that being seen and heard IS enough
to make them desired. They try to
keep in the eye of the particular mas
Culine member of the public who in
terests them. The telephone pest be-
longs to that group. She thinks she is
cultivating her popularity by making
nuisance of herself.
A man cannot tell her that she is a
bother; he cannot toss her out bodily.
SO she just assumes that he likes to
have her there. He does not. No man
wants women around his office. unless
she is there on business. And he feels
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

DEAR SPINSTER AUNT: I was
- reading your advice TO a business
girl the other day, to save some money.
then give up her position and marry
the man she is in love with. But for
the mans sake write her again and tell
her to forget him. 1 am a married man,
and did just what that fellow is con-
templating. l proposed to a girl who
was making a good salary, and we got
married.
But somehow things have gone wrong
ever since. We have one little boy, but
my wife is never happy. She doesn't
like running the house. She doesn't care
much about the youngster. and when
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
PigtailS Are Gone;
BARRIERS Rejoice

After many years of wearing
Hair that reached around the block
Cinnamon at last are tearing
From their heads the braided shock.
As the pigtail, long and picked,
To its finish is resigned
You can bet you they are tiCkled
When they hear the scissors grind.
1t was something of a scandal
Where the hOOdlums were thick
How they used it for a handle
When they went to play trick.
In their rude and bOisterOus SHINING
How they grabbed the pigtail queer
AS they sent the owner spinning
On his unoffending ear.
Now he's had it amputated
From his wise and yellow pate,
And he goes about elated
AS a creature up to date.
Quite light headed as a feather
Since he's lost that dangling end,
But he'll pull himself together
And will be the BARRIERS friend.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

that first man got up and left the car
and a big fat man got the seat.
Did you ever hear of sue hluck?
And that's not the only time that its
happened.
So now I've made a VOW that If I
should be stranded downtown until tha
rush hours, I'll either walk home o.
take a taXiCab.
And to tell. the truth, Mary, I don;
suppose it is fair to the people who
work all day and who have to go homr
at that time OF day TO take their place
in the cars, and expect the poor, dea~
men who work so hard reading n
newspapers at their desks during t.
cay. to get up and give a woman thei.
seats.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
Sweet Revenge.
Drawn for The Times

Had most enjoyable time at the
dentists today"
Eth. Enjoya ble?"
Yes When l went in another dem
tist was filing my dentists teeth
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
Big AlimOny.

Stela-The children want to begin
matrimony on the scale their parents
end it.
Bella-Ycs: the bride wants as large
alimOny as her mother.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
Daddy'S Opinion.

What. would you think, daddy, II
Algernon Nocash should suggest be-
coming your son-in-law?"
Withdraw. my dear, while I think
aloud"
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
Fortunate for Him.
BY
E. E. LOWRY.

Did Tom have any luck hunting
tigers in India?"
Yes: great luck"
"How?''
He didn't meet any tigers"
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

The man who contributes so cents
TO a charity fund gets $50 worth Of
pleasure patting himself on the back
Then isn't he Indebted S49.5O to the
suffering poor?
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

Why doesn't some one invent a
sidewalk that never gets slippery?
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
Pert Paragraphs

If the chooser is a woman she will run
Atn q third.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

Don't let your husband find you in a
wrapper when he comes home in the
evening. He prefers to do the neglige
dressing for the family.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

A man always thinks YOU are lying
II you have a more wonderful experience
than his own.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

A widow IS never so inconsolable as
Rhen her mourning is becoming.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

The wise mother doesn't ask her son
whom he took to the dance. She knows
that little brother will keep the family
Informed.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
The Optirnist

Don't grumble because it's slippery
If the snow wasn't frozen it would be
slush.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

Death loves a shining mark, but the
promoter prefers an easy one.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
MR.. PEEVED PROTESTS S
Against Women
Making Speeches
TO HIS PATIENT WIFE

sS is; :a;s 'p,z a'
= be interrupt
Get dictionary I'm no
walking spelling bee"
MrsP sn her writing again
a
getting speech suffrage meeting tomorrow
answered his wife
Suffrage speech snickered Mr. Peeved go to it.
it. of it
coughed rustled her and read loudly
gathered together people whose minds
and good Of"
"Oh ready speech maker! That's
original All need in there is little bit
cali you'll be all to the mustard
listen it,, snapped Mrs Peeved laying
down the angrily.
goodness don't have to listen
who does listen to female spout
doesn't know anything of fool worse
Look
begin often
that together, ha, ha!"
head ang Il that part OF the
John Peved she sad because didn't know how to
Ragme Club
smoke then said loudly:
all the time; that's why kidding Don't
petty. I'll come down tomorrow and hear you
Peeved snifed but she looked molifed
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

Don't fuss because your wife wants
trouser-skirt. She might demand die
mondS.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

Don't swear at having to pay bills.
You're lucky to have money enough to
DO 1t with
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

r. NR AY I use your phone?" Is
NV what she says But what
VI she means isl am making
the phone an excuse to get
to talk to you.
OF course, you" Is a man, young and
unmarried. But he happens also to
have his living to earn, and he hires
his office and his telephone for that
purpose. He never intended one for
reception room for idle-handed, empty
headed young women, nor the other to
serve as an excuse for such young
women to bother him.
Girls do such senseless things, II
there Is one thing a man who amounts
TO anything hates it is having his wom
en- friends and his social life get mixed
up with his business affairs.
But girls seem to forget that; or they
do not know 1t.
And another thing they forget, or do
not know, IS this: Men resent being
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

Don't break your heart if she
doesn't love you. 'Tis better to have
loved and lost than to try matrimony.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

Don't fret because you lost at poker
If you'd stayed home your wife might
have coaXed you to buy her a new hat.
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

Just because another man is a success
full CRATER is no sign that you will be
able to get away with it,
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

Suppose the cars are cold. Think
how stuffy they'd be if the heat was on
The Washington times., 1911-03-01
What's the Use?

You cruel man, my tears have no
effect on you at ALL
well, drop them, dear"
The Washington times., 1911-03-01

GsD KNs you'd have died laughing to see kid eating
restaurants Things
- a kid when somewhere, you know
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
REGISTRATION
OF NEW PUPILS
Schools Open Today for
Enrolment of Children.

Registration Of new pupils in the
public schools of the City of New
York began this morning at g O'Clock
and will continue until Tuesday, 3
o'clock.
During the next three days princi-
pals, assistants to principals and
heads of departments will be on duty
from 8 q. m. to 3 p. M. to admit the
children who are to enter school for
the first time, to issue transfers to
those who have moved away and to
attend to other school duties. The
registration of the new pupils Is the
first indication of the approach of the
opening of q new school year, which
takes place next Monday morning.
Principal N. J. Lowe, of public school
No. l, T~ottenVille, Principal Gould ].
Jennings, Of school No. 3, Pleasant
Plains, Principal Richards of school
No. 6 Rossville and Principal Henry
f. Albro, of school No. 4, Kreiser-
Vile, with nearly all other principals
IN the borough have returned from
their vacations and are at the schools
today ready for business. This Fri
day the teachers will return to their
class room to receive supplies and
make necessary arrangements for the
prompt resumption Of school work
next week. After this week when
the registration of pupils will end,
pupils will be admitted on any school
day provided application is made be-
tween $40 and 10 o'clock In the
morning,
Children under six years Of age
will not be admitted except in kin
dergarten classes. Children who
have never attended a public school
the City of New York must
furnish a satisfactory certificate of
vaccination.
During these same days the high
schools will also be opened for regis
Graduates of the private
schools will also be admitted this
week.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
T0TTENVILLE

Professor and Mrs. Warren Van
Name Of Brooklyn, are the guests
of his parents here.
Mrs. Rudolph HOehn. daughter
Miss Lena Hoehn, son Rudolph and
Miss Estelle BedelI, returned last
night after two weeks at Ocean
Grove.
Edward Johnson spent Monday IN
Brooklyn.
Miss Josephine A~ngerbach, of
South River, spent the holiday with
the Misses Walkerling, of Broadwsy.
Mr., and Mrs. Wilbur Shea were
at Ocean Grove Monday.
Mrs. j. F. Ryder and Mrs. John
NJ. Sleight are at Roxbury, \. Y.
Mrs. Edward Androvette and son.
Of Brooklyn, visited here the week
end.
James B. Firth has returned from
the Catskills.
George Thrall has returned from
a visit in Hartford, Conn.
Mrs. W. ]. Hayes and children
spent Monday with her parents al
Dongan Hills.
c. c. WinCapaw, Leland and vii.
liam H. Wtncapaw were at Hunting.
ton, L. l., to witness the motor BOA
races held on the sound Monday anC
yesterday, when the Dixie III wor
the race. They went from here II
George w, Du Bots launch, the Dl
Bee III. They will return tonight
Washington Council, D. Of L., met
last night.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
Too Biz a Compliment.

Miss Henrietta was not q sylph by
any means, but she prided herself upon
the neatness Of her we'll rounded fig
ure, and when she appeared on the
hotel veranda Il summer day with a
cluster Of white oxeye daisies pinned
against the crisp freshness Of her green
linen frock gallant Old Colonel Floyd
was moved to make her a pretty
speech.
what charming posies.' he remark
ed, with a C~hesterfeIdian bow. They
suit you exactly. You look like a Vir-
ginia hillside"
He was mystifed at the frigidity
with which Miss Henrietta received
his bit Of homage.-Youth's Compan-
ion
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
explanation Wanted.
BOARD OF WATER COMMISSION
Frs, CITY HALL, PERTH AM
Roy, n. j,

august ~fs ICAh |
President Snedeker presided.
Other commissioners present were
Grieve, Grouse, Sibley, Fraser.
The hour $50 P, NJ. having ar
rived, the time advertised for the re-
ceiying OF bids for coal, the clerk
was instructed to proceed with the
opening of said bids as follows:
Bid of P. Convery, coal from Lati-
mer mines, $2.65 per gross ton.
c. NJ. Peterson & Co., coal from
Wyoming region, $2.13 per gross
ton; coal from Latimer region, $2.13
per gross ton; coal from Wyoming
region, $2.27 per gross ton, the last
coal guaranteed to average not over
16 per cent. ash.
Geo. J. Haney, coal from Latimer
mines or equal, $2.05 per gross ton;
coal from Cross Greek or equal.
$3.50 per gross ton; coal from Beav-
er Meadow or equal, $2.45 per gross
ton; coal from Hazelton or equal,
S2.42 per gross ton; coal equal to
Upper Lehigh, $3.50 per gross ton;
coal equal to Sandy Run, $2.35 per
gross ton; coal from Wyoming mines,
$500, $2.35, $40, $3.50 per gross
ton.
On motion the foregoing bids were
referred to the committee Of the
whole. A recess was taken and upon
reconyening the bids were referred
to the committee on power and to re-
port at the next meeting, August 80,
1911.
On motion the engineer was in
structed to prepare plans and speci-
~fcations for extension of the twenty
four-inch main across the meadows
and to report at the next regular
meeting to be held September 6,
1911.
Motion that the finance committee
prepare an ordinance for a $4,000
90 bond issue and to report at the
next regular meeting to be held Sep
TENDER 6, 1911.
Communication received from the
C~hesebrough Manufacturing Com
pany regarding location of new main
on their property. On motion same
was referred to the real estate com
mittee and engineer, they to confer
with the Chesebrough Manufacturing
Company,
Communication received from the
Solraton Railway Company, Of Nor.
gantown, w. Va, relative to some
lots at Runyon. On motion same
was referred to Mr.. McDermott, OF
Jersey City, who has full knowledge
Of property belonging to the city OF
Perth Amboy, for a reply.
Statement of taxes received from
Madison Township. On motion same
was referred to the finance commit
tee, they to report on same at the
next regular meeting to be held Sep
TENDER 6, 1911.
Whereupon the meeting adjourn
ed until Wednesday evening, August
80, 1911.
W. GUY WE LAYER,
9-6-lf Clerk.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
The Eunnv Pcre.

A most unpleasant sensation is
caused by the violent e~xcitation Of the
ulnar nerve due TO a blow on the ell
bow. This nerve passes down on the
inner side Of the arm and then rather
incousiderately bends round and en-
tiers the forearm at the back Of the
elbow joint. Any one who has felt
his neighbours elbow sticking into his
ribs knows that the elbow is remark
ably deficient in flesh. The nerve IS
therefore at this point very near the
surface and has little to shield 1t from
a blow, II We give our elbow a smart
tap we obtain a practical conirma-
ton Of the fact that the ulnar nerve
Is the principal sensory nerve of the
forearm and hand.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
CLASSIFIED ADS
STATEN ISLAND NEWS
MARDI GRAS AT MIDLAND
Is NOW ON THIS WEEK

The annual mardi gras and car
nival at Midland Beach is now in
full swing and several thousand
people were on the boardwalk at
that place Monday on the opening
day. In the evening and during
the afternoon of each day during the
rest of the week there will be a con-
cert by Max Schmidt and his white
and gold band. An open air show
Is one of the principal attractions
and every effort has been made to
make this affair eclipse all former
carnival amusementB. Six thou
sand additional lights have been
cial trolley service has been estab-
cial trolley service has been estab-
ltshed to enable thousands to wit
ness the daily show. The baby pa
rade on Friday will be a big event.
1t will be held at 2 o'clock and many
entries have been received. Satur-
day will be athletic day. There Will
be swimming, running and one mile
course races. Fine gold and silver
medals and cash prizes will be
awarded.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
DIST. DEPUTY
MAKES VISIT
AdoIph ZoFn Over Richmond
Odd Fellows Here.

Distrisct Deputy Grand Master
Adolph zorn, Of Stapleton, made
his first official visit since his re-
cent appointment by Grand Master
George w. Stitz, Of Rochester, when
he came to TottenviIle last night
and visited Bentley Lodge, No. $40,
Independent Order Odd Fellows, at
a meeting of the lodge in It's rooms
in the Lehman building. 1t was at
this time that Past District Deputy
William L. Vaughan, a member of
Bentley Lodge, turned over the
books and credentials of the office.
There was a large gathering of
members of the lodge present on
this occasion to greet the new dep
uty, who is over all lodges in the
borough Of Richmond. Mr.. Zorn
made an address. Two candidates
received the inttiatory degree at
this session.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06

$40 Reward for return of black COW
lost Sunday afternoon. Andrew
Clausen, Grove Ave, Metuchen, N. j.
23O-9-6-3t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
Auto Club Has Shore Dinner

Eighty members, including their
wives and lady friends, enjoyed the
shore dinner of the Richmond Coun-
ty Automobile Club, held at the
club house in ~Eltingvile Saturday
afternoon, following the escort Of
Governor Wilson TO the county fair
grounds. DR.. Joseph Kuhn, chair
man of the committee Of arrange
ments, acted as toast master. The
dining Don of the club house was
beautifully decorated and some pro-
fessional talent furnished the enter
tainment during the dinner.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
From Ocean to Ocean by Rail

The completion Of the first railway
which made 1t possible to 60 by rail
from the Atlantic to the Pacific was
celebrated May 10, 1869, when a gold
spike was driven in commemoration of
the joining of the Central Pacific and
Union Pacific at Promontory, Utah,
The scene was commemOrated by Bret
Harte in a poem and preserved for the
admiration of the future by a massive
painting which was reproduced in an
engraving which had wide popularity.
The similar last spike of the Northern
Pacific was driven Sept. 8, 1888, near
the mouth Of Gold creek, in Montana.
On the earlier road the first through
car from the Pacific reached New
York, July "a, 1870.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
ROOMS WANTED.
TO LET.

We Have-The following amounts
to place on bond and mortgage at
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
Gutter Turns Out to Be Star.

Al RNAAA( - "a nc ONA W ~ 'Nf
= 1R n e and the Game" IN the.
rare 7an RariGan-- Magazine.
Grantland Rice tells how a "Quitter"
in a little game became a great play
er in q big one, He writes:
In building up his eleven for the
campaign that season, Coach FIELD
ing Yost Of Michigan selected from
among his candidates one who look
ed to have the making Of a star. His
name was Smith. Powerfully built
and active for a big man, he looked
to be a find But, tried out In a
preliminary October contest at guard,
Smith slumped from a find into a
f1zzle Of the rawest type. He failed
in aggressiveness was inert in effort,
and finally, after a slight injury,
limped off the field. YOst was deep
" disappointed. Smith vas shipped
to the side lines, where he remained
the greater part Of the seasOn-un-
known, unhonOred and ~un-bunged
up. Yost had lost all interest In
him, His place had been filled, and
hut for an Incident Smith would like
~ have left college with the unen-
yiable reputation Of being q gutter.
"a week before the Pennsylvania
game an accident displaced the Mich
igan center. Looking about in de-
sDair. the Wolverine leader by
chance happened to see Smith pass
ing the ball for the third eleven, He
was called in to fll out for the day,
until another could be found TO fill
the zap. To Yost's great surprise
Smith suddenly started In smashing
things left and right. He was given
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06
WIND SHIELD
is SMASHED
MisseI Strikes Car--Boy
is Injured

Three women and two men going
up Amboy avenue in Tottenville in
q large touring car yesterday after
noon were startled when something
like a bullet or small stone shattered
the wind shield Of the car. At the
same time the missile struck the glass
a small boy playing on the sidewalk,
lear Sleight avenue where the thing
occurred, felt a sting on his side and
began to cry. It is not known
whether 1t was a bullet or not, be-
aus no sound of a pistol shot was
heard. The occupants of the ma
chine, whose names could not be
learned, got out and looked over the
boy but found that the lad was not
injured. They drove on through
the island.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-09-06

to place on bond and mortgage at
once:
$2,5OO.OO at 6 per cent.
$2,500.OO at six per cent.
100000 at ST. per lent
$1,500.O0 at 6 per cent.
$1,500.00 at 5 per cent.
Fraser Brothers, No. 95 Smith St.
Perth Amboy, New Jersey.
237O8-8-22-tf
MONEY TO LOAN ON BOND AMI
MORTGAGE, 8 AND 6 PER CENT
PIERCE & SON. 9S SMITH STREET.
13097-7-7-tf.