davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11
Thin.
GOndOn OniniOnl

Customer-Look here, waiter, is that
the stuff you've got the cheek to call
OXtail soup?
Waiter-That's it, sir.
CustOmer-Well, you'd better take i.
out and let the OK dip his tail in it two
or three times more.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

There is very little land to drain in
Sumter county, but that does not pre-
vent the people here from sympathiz-
ing with the project to drain South
Georgia's swamps. Selfshness is not
the dominant impulse hereabouts.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

The bones of giant, twice the size
OF the average man, have been IN
earthed in Arizona. Big as he was.
though, we doubt if his contempor-
aries believed him big enough to hold
two Offices at one time.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

Women prefer to buy goods that are
advertised, declares one of the expert
female ad writer's at the recent con
vention. Women never flock to stores
that do not advertise. And the wo-
men are the ones who do the buying
in this country.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

Congressman Fowler, of Pennsyl-
yania, charged with being a silk
stocking Democrat" Indignantly as
serts that he had never seen a silk
stocking" Where are the Congress-
mans eyes on rainy days in Washing
ton?
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

Roosevelt's dramatic appearance be-
fore the steel trust investigating COM
mittee was another highly effective al
yertisement for The Outlook"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11
Orders to Mary.

(Eyerybody's Magazine.)
A college professor, noted for strict
discipline, entered the classroom one
day and noticed girl student sitting
with her feet in the aisle and chewing
gum.
Mary" exclaimed the indignant pro
fessor, take that gum out of you1
mouth, and put your feet in.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

A Chicago judge has granted an in
junction restraining wife from call
ing her husband on the phone during
office hours When a man is busy ne
doesn't care whether the baby has got
another tooth or not.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

She won her college letter for
Athletic records new;
She rowed her school to victory
AS stroke oar on the crew;
She set mark in sprinting and
She starred in basketball;
Back home now, has she strength to
help
At homework? Not at all.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

THE revisionists are in the saddle,
declares the Baltimore Sun. The sad
die is large enough to accommodate
one more Georgian, though.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

lntemperance is being fought with
apples. The fruit is said to destroy
the taste for liquors. With apples It
$3.50 barrel the cure is more ex-
lpensiye than the habit.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

Democratic papers do not enthuse
over Vardaman's election. He will be
there to vote, though, when the time
comes.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

If President Taft gets into a hole It
VIII be his own fault, The Democrats
are not putting him there. All he has
got to do is to stand by his own words
as to the infamy Of the wooden sched-
ule and the necessity of other tariff
reforms.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11
"Lamb" Defined BY a "Bear."
Cincinnati Enuuirer.D

IUlnclnnal EnQuirer)
James R. Keene, at a celebration in
Cedarhurst,' said a New York broker.
"once gave, in a dozen words, the Wall
Street definition Of lamb.
A lamb said Mr.. Keene, is one
who invests first and investigates af-
terward.'
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

Pellagra has invaded Kentucky and
causes scare. Naturally it will he
charged to prohibition.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

A cynic asserts that the sweetest
harmonies to many men come from the
blowing of their horns.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

you have a fine signature, Mr. So
and-so," said a salesman to a buyer
who had written his name with many
fourishes
Yes" answered the buyer, proudly,
4 should have. One OF my forefathers
signed the Declaration Of Independ-
ence."
"So?' said the salesman. Vel, you
ain'd got notindgs on NE. One Of my
forefathers signed the Ten Command
ments."
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

The Atlanta Constitution shows a
fash Of the old time yearning for
protection.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

= \ = = y = \ = \ = y
Whose neglects learning in his
youth, loses the past and is dead for
the future. -Euripides.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11
OFFICIAL ORGAN:
Americas, Ga, August II, 1911.

What is Beer? DR.. Wiley should ask
the Georgia legislators who went 20
Macon.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

They have it all planned to put the
Tippins bill to sleep 1t looks very
much that way.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11
THE CONSTITUTIONS, LATEST
POLITICAL BUGABOO-A SOUTH
ERN REVOLT If THE COTTON
SCHEDULE Is TOUCHED

}
coIIec'ly' II has Deen very iI0cn III
c'lAeu 10 "oOOIe ana 10 "a'el " men II
came " 9"pPoi 'iii7 l0siiio>' ''''O ga -
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eo u d ueSlIe " ieau me ''"'e' 81
not l"e 0o"'H' mo " SUI u sam
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- P"p''' 'nouio 9I'e uue cOu-
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GU. l''''7'' ~ i'eo' 'IiIe 'ii7 Deilioc' DIT ''
i0i0i poiloS' says Ihe hecoIu'
0''0-l spinner > A'u am pl'
% '-'''' 'iiei' cunning ii1'lil'ui"
'N''0U''l' '0'iu NC ulluoi''
''' opp'' '''iii''' men 'n'
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:, ~ " ~ . anu 'ies,"' Oollliiil''ee u
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u mn ~ nal anu no" successor VI
@A'o' w. 'PPe"ie Gu WIN oile u
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- e'0 'i'''1 'iie 'Oiieu 'le Snouiu not Ut
H''l SOU 5', Du' W Soiiie can'rlp Sllsn'
''' '1i' ''e'i ! ei'oi &c" u oiii ooi'iiill''ee
0o'. ''''liou Ni' 0'ei ~ u" ciaSSllcd'lonS O9
MY" 'iie uuIieS were IdlSeu' III some
0''''e' il'0ie ',i''n one nuiluleu PEI
I0i''' oN 'eeiHs 'iiiS Chairman FaS 1T
0'''' Uoiiouil'eu II do -" 'lloN' "u'
Io 81 "lN 'ne 'n"lseS rom 'ne olll
g III 'ne 'oeia'e NoilliliI'ee Oh ri
i'''''Oe 'iie Nippl'I 'llch was renewed
ana paSSeu hhaIly INTO the Fayne- Al
VI lOn act
MS ne" co'Oon OIL FeFlses thes'
'.e' uo"" warn ana 1t Is INTENDED i
ueie"' 'iie al'llice oI Ihe lllli-o"heTs
= 10 "ui''i'leu Oh all hanuS Ihat saw
~ al eNCepOloHaI oIahch OF TWO 1T
I'00' III '"'S l"nu IS 50 lll-palu DIS Il
1ne 'o''o" lactorleS III the name "
'o'e''ion' me average weekly "aS
III Tue coIlon mills Oh New England ,
@'' anu III 'ne ooutherh mills less tha'
P'' III 'He coIVoh Hills Vi olu Eng
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

'Tis beauty that doth oft make women
proud,
'Tis virtue that doth soft make them
most admired.
lis government that makes them seem
divine. King Henry VI
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11
Turning Back to the Clock.
brooklyn Life.)

(BroOkIyn Life,)
Il am 35 years old" announced a
woman of Sc at a tea last week And
I am &C." said a woman Of As. Then
turning to girl OF Il, who stood near
by, she asked:
How old are you, Ethel?"
Oh" replied Ethel, according to
the present reckoning I'm not born
yet"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

The pugilist's short cut to fame 6.
generally an upper-cut.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

A woman never does anything she
wants to unless her husband doesn't
want her to.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

Most people seem to think that they
are not getting all the happiness they
are entitled to.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

The chronic kicker doesn't do it al
together for exercise.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

The golden rule doesn't always work
both ways.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11
Do You Want q Farm?

show yo any pIe y wan a re l prices Som O. tt pEo@m Sumter and
;aLoSm hmsmT Cdh neae choice farms he pnehy
Mpy godm " bno gH " inc npdy
Wewnte gn Oh wyouMy OF these u@ny la Nllgow1h
m on all fgd t a so ed dgnyM ta dN ubL THERE'S
in "a clear ged cling barn dsbn undtS
apwMe This nnsmhH
acre he farm u rad d Lh 1O@nc cultivation Hdn
d
tank INC pnp;wd Yelling barns This ndGsmo Hbetf
pnto fCeugan This has Eu fee Alpine mDrmH
p f easy h m thar asking
NJ I h ngnynen Price 25Oprue
of Aen
two nal house gd twenty ~ B fine farm; adedda yaksa Price
pt m like 50 fph NI roll noh toda nv:ve hn that
tenant onesA erl barns
adjacent dior from Hub ryuo HH
run rSnto deferred
b o p al bB off,
m One O two tenant houses Mer of neeah
gray OF i d od Price
Ogre
Pne1O
three one acres in n;unfw ndvlmeH
aHr SMH@nha
pbby edc h Price
as h;on M niles AmnuB; Endn level S1 nsHK
local bd gd
county W buy farm for pcen ahanmgan
very US oh aHeedmn
O eto late
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

Teddy continues to do things in thu
old spectacular way.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

Yet the Cotton bill leaves an aver
age duty of q per cent. Is not that
enough? 1t is higher than the cotton
duties of the tariff of 1916, and much
higher than in the Democratic Repub-
lican tariff of 1889, before the Repub-
Iican party had yet acquired a stu
pendous appetite for spoils. This cot
ton schedule, which is threatened with
a veto, would doubtless have been re-
duced still lower but for the conserva-
tive spirit of the Democrats in Con-
gress, who do not wish to hastily
snatch the tariff nurslings from the
breast of their mother. But there is
nothing in the Wool bill, the Cotton
bill or the Farmers Free List to war
rant the exercise of the veto power"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11
SOME
MORNING SMILES.
= = = = = = : = = = , = y +
Who's Who?

Who's Who!
Mother has gone TO Reno,
Father lives at the club;
Sister is over in Europe
Hunting titled dub.
I'm left alone with the servants;
I sit here and wonder all day
If l am Fathers or Mothers
Kind Judge, won't you hurry and
say? Puck.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

A friend should bear his friends in
firmities. Julius Caesar
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1911-08-11

Auto JOY kills.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10

Send the Newspaper east.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
Goats, Not Tars,
To Risk Lives

Navy department officials assert
that the seamen who have volun-
teered for that duty would not be
permitted to remain on board the q.
5 5. Texas when it is used as a tar
get by other battleships next month.
The Texas is being fitted with ar
NOR plates. and dummies will proba-
bly, be placed in the gun turrets to
show what would be the fate of the
gunners in an engagement. II there
are to be any goats on the Texas
during the firing. said the naval Off
GERS, they will be four legged ones.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
Wakefield Mesa Soon To
Be Sold In Small Tracts

The large tract of land owned by
J f. Wakefield ON Wakefield mesa Is
soon to be cut up into ten acre tracts.
1t will he put on the market and
offered for sale at a reasonable price
per acre, "A perfect water right to- go
with each tract.
Several parties are ready to buy
some of these tracts just as soon as
the survey can be made, which will
be as soon as the mud dries up. Here,
within three years we will see a thriv-
ing settlement of from twenty-five to
thirty families as this tract is very
favorably located in many ways. be-
ing well adapted for fruit raising or
general farming. within mile OF
coal mine. domestic water pipe line
running right by 1t. and only about
four miles west of Paonia on a beau.
tiful mesa overlooking the valley.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
Why is q LegisIature9

The following extract from Good
wins Weekly indicates that the LIQUOR
question has arrived at an acute
stage in the Legislature not to men,
tion the editorial office of the Weekly:
with the joint committee LIQUOR
bill passed by the senate and the
fretted brow of the Badger person
wreathed in trailing clouds OF glory,
while the house walks carefully
around or steps over the latest beer
keg eliminator from the fragrant
coterie OF lawmakers in charge of
the federal crowds liquor traffic regu.
lating gymnastics, the atmosphere
in the immediate neighborhood of
Utah's legislative halls clears up
about as rapidly as nice wide street
on the west side on wet day"
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
Y. M. c. A. Banquet
Was Huge Success

Monday evening a big banquet was
served by the ladies to the Y. NJ. C. A.
members and their friends at the odd
Fellows hall. About one hundred
persons were present to enjoy the
festivities of the evening. The dinner
was elegantly prepared and served.
Robert Rockwell was toastmaster.
In the responses Lawer Stone gave
n short introductory speech. followed
by talks by Wallace Decker. Weldon
Hammond. C. +. Angel. Harry
Bunker and l.. L. Ernst. Several of
the speakers were not present and
Others took their place. Rhodes or
chestra furnished the music OF the
evening.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
D. u. Glee Club
Charms Large Audience

The Glee Club OF Denver University
gave their ualentertainment here
last Saturday night before large
and enthusiastic audience despite the
rainy day. Ii was given under the
auspices OF the NJ. +. church and held
in that building. The entire club of
twenty-five members are artists and
every number of the programme.
composed of solos. trios and quar-
tettes Were splendid and the selec-
tions by the orchestra were a treat
to all music lovers. Miss Rowell
gave several exceptionally pleasing
and clever readings. which invoked
much applause. All in all the enter
tainment was ofsuperior quality and
one OF the best of its kind that has
come our way for many long day.
They are making quite an exten-
sive tour of the country I'm a special
ear and from here went to Telluride.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
What Is Your System
OF Raising Children?

DIR. L. F. Barker OF Washington
thinks parents make "A mistake I'm
yielding too much to their children's =
craving for sympathy" and that
true kindness will teach the child TO
rely more upon self-help.r
The only persons who are sure
they know how to bring up children
are old maids and bachelors who
have never had any, and whose the
ories have never suffered from the
fatal necessity of putting them into
practice.
Our observation is that quite as
many children suffer from lack of
sympathy as from an overdose of It,
but when we say "sympathy." we
do not mean mere indulgence. Even
as IA father pitieth his children" is
one of the sweetest phrases in the
Bible. 1t is eloquent of that kind of
sympathy of which no child can have
too much.
Blessed is the boy or girl who
comes to selfdependance sure of
father and mother love that faileth
not in the time OF misfortune. of ad-
versity or even Of fdisgrace,-Denver
ENnrpss
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
Cupid Still Triumphant
Another Couple Wed

Last Sunday afternoon at four
O'Clock at the Methodist parsonage,
Miss Lille V. Allen and Claude NJ.
Smith were united in marriage. Rev.
officiating. The young couple are
both residents of our valley, the
bride having recently come here from
Byers, Colorado for n visit with her
uncle and family who own ranch
across the river.
The Newspaper extends congratu-
lations and wishes for them long
and happy journey through lie.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
Matt Cavanaugh is
Killed by Partner

Matt Cavanaugh, of lola, a for
mer resident OF this place, was shot
last Sunday afternoon at lola by
L. E. Champlin, his partner.
On his return from hospital at
Salida Champlin, who had conducted
the partnership store at Powderhorn,
was accused by Cavanaugh of mis-
appropriating company money. An
alteration ensued in which Cham
plin was severely beaten over the
head with "A revolver. Cavanaugh
was arrested and taken to Gunnison
for trial, but on the tesetimony of
himself and wife was released. On
the way back it was agreed the par
ties would settle the partnership af-
fairs. Arriving at lola, Champlin
went into the postoffice and tele-
phoned his wife who warned him to
keep away from Cavanaugh who
had threatened to kill him. Going
out on the street. Cavanaugh accost-
ed him and told Champlin II he
did not come in and settle he
would be killed and suiting action
to words began drawing his revol-
yer, which stuck in the pocket
long enough for Champlin to draw
and fire three times, all the shots
taking effect. the last bringing Cav
anaugh down with his pistol at his
side. Cavanaugh was hurried TO a
hospital at Salida, but died some
hours later.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
More or Less Right

In a recent address to medical
students, Senator Depew said that
"the party with the greatest major
ity is more right than the minority
party"
That sounds almost as incontest-
able as an axiom in geometry. The
corollary is that the minority party
Is more wrong than the party with
the greatest majority. So. when we
sit up election nights to see which
party succeeded in buying the most
votes, we discover by that wrong
what is right. Thus, party lines are
coincident with ethical distinctions.
All the most.right people are in the
party with the greatest majority.
The not-so-right people are In the
party with the greatest minority.
The very wrong people are in the
smaller parties. This, as noted above.
Is automatic.
But these distinctions. are subject
to change without notice. For in
stance, prior to the election of 1892
Senator Depew was more-right. After
Cleveland was elected, he was not.so-
right. Then he became more-right
again.
To multiply words is unnecessary.
and might seem like unto individious
emulation.-Puck.
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
Quite A New Sidelight
On Railroad Situation

A short time ago the Colorado SC
Southern turned over to the D. & r,
&. its lines from Gunnison to Pitkin
and from Gunnison to the coal mines
at Baldwin. Now comes the News
Champion and says that a rumor is
current over there that the u. & r.
q. contemplate extending the Bald
win branch over Kebler pass to a
connection with the Somerset branch,
Two weeks ago this paper outlined
a probable route for the d. & r. G,
i'll case it should be made part of a
now supposed to be in control. The
tunneling OF Marshall pass was part
OF the scheme, then a line along the
south rim of Black mesa to Craw-
ford and the North Fork branch of
the road was the outline II this
Gunnison rumor has any foundation,
the low Kebler pass seems to appeal
more strongly to the new owners
than that along the mesa. A line
over kebler pass would be very
much easier grade than over Cerro
hill and would not be so long as one
around the mesa. A line around the
mesa would be a good thing for the
Maher-Crawford country, but would
of course connect with the North
Fork branch at or below Hotchkiss,
while a line over Kebler pass from
Baldwin would put Paonia on the
main line and be good deal shorter
line to build. Besides. such a line
would open up another large coal
district above Somerset. This rail-
road situation should receive earnest
attention from our commercial asso-
citation in the very near future. In
cases like this it is not true that
avery thing comes to him who
waits
The Paonia newspaper., 1911-03-10
Congregational Church, Sunday. Mar. 1,

Regular morning and evening SER
vices as usual.
Topic for the morning sermon.
"Christ's Definition of God" Luke IL.
lib. Topic for evening sermon. "A
Fighting Chance" believe every
person has Fighting Chance for
success. Environment, Circumstance.
inclination and Personal traits NAV
be against you, still l believe you
have n chance for success in what
ever work you take up. but more
than that. and most important. a
chance for straightforward, clean.
moral and spiritual life, even in the
face of seemingly great odds. Good
music by choir and orchestra. You
are invieted to attend.-E. II. Robin
son, Pastor.