New-York tribune., 1911-01-07
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Tn. youns woman who started recently
ON q walk TO Tampa. Fla. for the doupie
Dur pose OF earning q 900 and reducing ner
Udslrt from lsD pounds to more 'styhsh
o~,rr" may win the money. but the peo-
nIa who rernsmber the experience OF the
sirl who walked from Boston TO Portland
ana bach q few years ago have their
doubts as 20 the weight question. The
Boston girl returned 70 her homo seven
teen pounds lighter In weight but the
victory over the all too solid hesh, ac-
cording 20 her own testimony. was short
lived. Two weeks later ] had my old
weight and nothing 10 show for The walk
but the snapshot pictures taken on the
road"
How: your wife getting along at her
FINE So far nobodys put up a. better
lunch than she did. Detroit Free Press.
FROM AN EXPERT.
New York City has bought COW for
Central Park II would be a fine example
for the simple life IL the Mayor would
milk her twice q day.-Philadelphia In
quiyer. d..
We listen with profound respect,
Almost with veneraton.
To this. Our neigh hbor's. sage advice,
Concerning such lactation.
Because. by heck. II there be anything
That Philadeip phians do know how
To do as only experts do, II is
To milk the public COW.
Wow, W. j. HAMPTON.
The school teacher was trying TO illus
trate the difference between plants and
animals.
Plants" she explained ARE not sus-
cepuble Of attachment 10 man as animals
are" ..r.t
How about eurrs teacher" p!ped a
small boy who had passed the summer In
the country.-Chica8o News.
Conscience money" 10 the amount OF
IS was received by Vienna bank at
Christmas from An Austrian who emigrated
10 America more than sixty years ago. II
was formerly the custom for apprentices
TO call at Christmas time on the firms
with which their masters dealt for trffling
presents The old emigrent in letter sx-
planned that he cheated the bank In Ques-
ton by calling twice for. q Christmas g1ft
Disgusting himself on his second call In .
shoemaker's apron. He duly. received .
second present OF a nortn. The act has
that no decided this Christmas TO repay
terest for sixty, years. The bank manager
has given the 1S to charity.
Lawyer Brown-so I called the Judge Q
liar. ...-
Lawyer Jones-And then what did you
do?
Lawyer Brown-Thrty days. - Toledo
Blade.
Il see they've got a machine for sewing
on buttons, now" said tho humorlsts wife
That's Just my luck" said the humor1st:
the FIRST thing you know somebody will
invent a machine for finding lost collar
buttons. and my business will be ruined"
-Yonkers Statesman.
Virtue is Its own reward quoted tho
Wise Guy. II suppose that accounts for
The fact that 90 many people are good for
nothing" snicksred the Simple Mug.-Phii.
adelphia Record.
Contrary 10 ell expectation. especially
after its disastrous hre. the Brussels Expo
sition closed with an actual pront for its
promoters and ockhoiders
from 0G m. I've Soysh, a Z. book
II won't worry" responded the lawyer.
"In that case | shall probably get moro
business than ever r"-Washinston Herald.
A proposed law. to prevent "gun totins"
in Massachusetts forblda any one not be-
lonx,ns 10 tho militia or pohce force to
buy. hire, lease. receive. use or carry fire.
arms without securing a special license
9TH. Waterbury Republican" while admit
ting that the object OF the bill Is commend
abls. advances the novel argument against
4 thA, II nJe,Yses Z clause hn lhs tS1sA,