davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
sAFEmAKER vs. sAFEBREAKER

From Harper's Weekly
 A number of years ago two prospective safe breakers succeeded in obtaining em- ployment in two different safe factories. worked over a period of years in the va rious departments, gained all the infor- nation that they desired, and, subse- quently working together, managed to baffle the safe makers by their skill in opening complicated safes in different parts of the country. The police were at loss to understand how the safes had been opened, and only the apprehension of the two men several years later was it learned that the jobs had not been ''in- side" ones, as was originally suspected, but had really been the work of two men who had been initiated into the mysteries of safecraft, and had put their knowledge to criminal use. This put the safe mak- CTS on their guard, and an exceedingly complicated system was immediately put into force, whereby not only was the ped igree of every workman looked into closely, but the work among the em- ployes was so separated that no one man or two men could gather enough informa- ton about a safe to put it to dangerous use afterward Furthermore, when an employe is discharged. or when he vol untarily leaves his position. his actions are watched, and. although safe com panes refuse to discuss this particular point, it is a matter of record that any former employe of a safe company, who is possessed of intimate information re- garding the secrets of that company's safes, is kept under constant surveillance. As an illustration of the thoroughness with which this is done, there may be cited the case of a former superintend- erft of one of the principal safe com panies, who was discharged eight years ago for intoxication, who subsequently, sought and obtained a position as super 'intendent of an iron foundry in the mid dle west, who has now held that position for the last seven years, who has done his work well, and who is kept under the eye of detective in the safe com pany's pay There is not the slightest reason to doubt the mans integrity but as has been suggested by the mans employer, who knows his superintendent is being watched, the safe company seems unwilling to take the slightest chance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
oIn AGE AND BOOZE

From the Washington POst.
 Statistics are wonderful things. With little care one may prove anything by them. It all depends upon whether the mental lens is concave or convex as to whether the conclusion deduced Is optimistic or otherwise. Again, the Individual instance comes in to dis- turb, or to confirm, as one may wish. For example, the population of France is decreasing; but this fact adds no woe to the peasant with a family of 12 He has troubles enough of his own as 1t IS. His only consoling thought at the arri- val of twins is that misfortunes never come sngly.
 Again, take the devasting demon rum. So far does it overshadow all oth- CT items of calculation. one might say that statistics themselves are rumniy things The estimated sum that goes up annually In smoke is mere bagatelle compared to that which goes down an- nually in drink And 1t is all wasted, or worse-more ineffecual than the fec ble efforts of man, who in his weak : ness has been compared by holy writ to water poured upon the ground
 The liquor question has been with us for a long time. It goes back at least to the days of Noah, when the children of Ham got themselves into unwilling trouble long before they were born. We wish the problem could be settled. Now and then a valiant champion arises to lend surety to the hope that the so- lution is at hand. But the next moment his adversary springs into the arena, wiry and eager for battle.
 There is a good old soul now living in California. His age is 115, and his he has partaken only of that which MT. Emerson says makes the true poet drunk ken--water. To this he attributes his unbroken health and long life. Let us drink him a toast from the moss covered bucket which hung in the we'll.
 But hark to centenarian caclSle from down in Georgia? What has this lusty youth to say? Upon my head the summers of 105 years have de- scended leaving these once raven locks as white as the cotton fields of my na-
 tive state. Since early childhood have drunk regular and frequent To InlS l owe ny pltStHI NiSpi- | SAiAA take three fingers of good stuff three times a day. That's why l am here"
 What shall be said to these things? Statistics are confusing. Perhaps the individual combatants can decide once for all. Would it not be well to strip these doughty old heroes to the buff, place them in the ring, and cry Lay on Macduffn The outcome might not be satisfactory to the opposing hosts drawn up silently on either side. But if an exhilarating dram were supplied to the absteminous California before the battle began, and if, at the same time. the Georgia bantam were deprived of his morning snifter, the onlookers might well expect a nifty scrap.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
Proposed Recess of Congress

The weather is becoming torrid in Washington and already there is talk of recess until October l. The House has passed the Free List bill, and a revision of the woolen sched- ule will doubtless be laid before it next week. This bill can be passed by June 15. A good many democrats prefer free wool, but Chairman Un- derwood seems to be committed to a reduction of 70 per. cent in the tariff rate. In other words, he favors a duty of cents a pound on raw wool instead of a. duty of 12 cents pound, to say nothing to the high ad valorem, duty awarded to the wool trust on manufactured goods.
 All these questions will be threshed out in the democratic caucus, and the democrats will stand by the woolen schedule as it is reported by Chairman Underwood. No better dis ciplined party ever existed than the one led by Messrs. Clark and Un- sdsrwood. It is fighting consistently
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
SUCCESSFUL PLAY IN PARIS

blows out his brains. Of course, Mau- rice forgives his wife. adopts the kid for his own, and though the play does not tell us this she supports him in luxury and idleness ever after on the proceeds of her prosperous millinery business.
 Curtain. Tears. What has Maurice. the wronged husband, been doing all these six years, and where has he been? That is what the gentleman up-a-tree wants to know. Even in real life. and assuredly in stage life. it Is best not to ask too many questions. Maurice knew on which side his bread was buttered. Where knowledge is a good living twere well not to be too foolish!
 I see from the American papers that the French method is creeping into America Naturally Chicago is the open door According to the reports, a wife betrays her husband, the object of her preference being fashionable physician. The doctor returns home from a night spent with his paramour to find his wife murdered in her bed He is suspected, arrested, tried and convicted. He re- fuses to establish an alibi through the revelation of his guilty secret and re- solves to die like a gentleman. Comes the erring wife to make the confession. Noble woman," cries the injured hus- band. "All is forgiven,''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
A BOOST BY THE ROOSTER

From the Rockville, Mo-, Booster tsts
 Friday night we drove good team from Hotel De Hoss to Appleton City and had the pleasure of listening fo Miss Fay Fosters performance on the plano.
 Yes, 1t was grand, wonderful. magnifl- cent. She is the finest we have ever had the pleasure of hearing. To be sure, we were not able to appreciate all of 1t, we are not educated in music sufficiently for that, but we would much rather hear her play than Doctor Powers sing. Her ex- ecution of Gottschalk's "Tremolo" was one of the finest things we ever heard. but we could appreciate her Music Box" one of her own compositions, to a greater extent.
 However, when she began Mendels- sohn's Spring Song' we sat up and took notice. A peculiar feature of classical music is that one appreciates it much more after having heard it until one all most knows it. We had heard this piece a number of times and her rendition of 1t was superb to say the least.
 We are very glad we got to hear her. She is a lady who has risen from an ob- scure country girl to a musician of in- ternational fame, not on account of the wealth of her parents, but by sheer force of her wonderful talent We cannot but commend the strength to mind that has held to her task so as to make her suc- cess as musician possible, for success even to the talented comes only after wears of heart-breakng toll.
 Think of the hours of practice neces. sary to produce the "Tremolo" as she produced it. May she be more than suc- cessful in her career, for6 she certainly deserves the best mature can bestow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

times. I believe that beginning with June there will be a very decided revival of business, and from July on I look for prosperity from one end of the country to the other The south, by the way, is fast coming to its own. It has made won derful progress nj the past few years. but that progress has been small compared with what we shall see in this section three or four years hence Alabama Is talked of as one of the great agricultural and mineral states. and a new tide of cap ital and population will turn this way
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
QUEEN MARY's THOUGHT.

QUEEN MARY'S THOUGHT.
 (Contributed.) Mary had little thought Bout coronation day, And not a woman taking part Will be allowed to stay, Unless her clothes are sensible, For Mary doth disdain H+ garb that hobbies woman's gait, And makes her figure plain. And every modest womans heart This act to her should bind. And they should follow in her wake, And be of Mary's mind.
 Mrs. Leola T. Park. Bryan's Mill, Tex.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
Business In the West

II spent the greater part of April trav- cling through the west" said Thomas Esdale of St. Louis, and seldom have business conditions seemed better in that part of the country. All through the northwest prosperity is in evidence, and on the Pacific coast all reports seemed to be favorable believe business every where will improve right along with the approach of summer Winter wheat IS giving q big yield, and bumper corn crop is practically in sight
 General trade in the east and middle west has been quiet this spring. only the most pronounced pessimists talk of haru
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
JOHN ANDERSON, MY Jo

Ky Robert Burns. John Anderson. my jo, John.
 When we were first acquent, Your locks were like the raven,
 Your bonnie brow was brent; But now your brow Is beld, John,
 Your locks age like, the snaw, But blessings on your frosty pow,
 John Anderson, my jo! John Anderson, my jo. John,
 We clanab the hill thegither, And monie a canty day, John, We've had wi ane anither: But now we maun totter down, Johl And hand in hand we'll go9 And sleep thegither at the fopt.
 John Anderson. my 1oi
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

If Sir Wilfred Laurier does not attend the coronation on account of the reel procity agreement, John Hays Hammond, who has got the money and the style, will have to represent the whole North American continent. Mexico has other business to attend to-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

" "HSHhLOH From the New York Press.
 Conscience is never very much bother when other people don't know about it. too.
 Pushing a lawn mower does much more for mans liver than writing poetry.
 The poor we have always with us, and when they're relations we are very irri- table about 1t.
 What woman can't understand Is what big shoes it takes for such little feet as shf has,
 A itan has to have a mighty generous ratu to admit the reason his house is run ell is his wife.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
FIENDIsH GLEE
n the Houston Post.

From the Houston Post.
 we would like for Chairman Under wood to run his steam roller over Uncle Joe Cannon again. We know Uncle Jos is nice gentleman and that he is rather old. but 1t gives us such pleasure to hear him squawk.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Sufra gettes should remember that great issues are not determined by pa- rades. To win they must first secure the cooperation of all women as near as may be.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Diaz is at the bat witha two outs, two strikes and the bases full. He should put the ball and himself over the fence and travel fast.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Boston experts say that single wom- an can live properly on s124o.5O year. while a single man can live comfortably on ssSs. Each can If ned be live on less.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

If Diaz and Madero would agree to set tie their ambitions at twenty paces with shotguns, many lives and much property would be saved.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

The Mexican trouble now has but two sides, Diaz and Madero. The latter has won over all opponents of autocracy, and he Is now the acknowledged rebel leader.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

THE GAME. Once more my answer Is the same; Of course Fl see The opening game.
 Detroit Free Press. And I'll be there With heart elate To see the first Man cross home plate.
 Birmingham Age-Herald. We'll all be there In new spring suit To call the ump A big galoot
 St. Louis Times. No game, for years, We scribes have missed. We love to go- Oh. you free list
 Rome Tribune-Herald. The gang was there Yea, one and all To see the may'r Throw the first ball
 Allentown Democrat. We have not been Since it begun; We grieve to see Our home team done.
 Houston Post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
A GOOD EXAMPLE,.

A GOOD EXAMPLE.
 q know a man who takes things as they come"
 q wouldn't be too sure of that. Very few people are as philosophical as they would have others believe"
 "Still, I am willing to bet almost any sum that I can prove the truth of my
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Rhode Islands convicts now enjoy Sat. urday half-holiday and its baseball games and smokers" Prison reform is marching on.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Diaz has forwarded s1,OO0,00o in gold coin to New York for safe keeping. It pays to serve as President of Mexico a lifetime
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

No picture and no book that is not high priced has any attraction for some American buyers. The price is the thing,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
REFORMED.

He used to live on breakfast food, But that was long ago. He wonders now howe'er he could Mistreat his stomach so.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

The discipline in the democratic party under Speaker Clark and Chairman Un- derwood excites the admiration of the opp@ition.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
WILLING TO 4oBIdeE.

WILLING TO =oBLIGE. He seems to stand great deal on cer- emony."
 That's so" Say something mean'' All right Some people have an idea that pompous behavior. cenceals an in- tellectual vacuum"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

When the temperature is s5 in the shade
 few people care to consider the woolen schedule.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

New York complains of shortage of water, despite the fact 1t is surround ed by 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

The whisker advocates say that from Buchanan to Taft only one man of hair less face has been elected President.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Chicago barmaid of 76 says four beers is the limit of a woman. She ought to know.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

assertion in this particular case.'
 How will you go about it?n
 I'll take you out to the baseball park and let you see this fellow play. He is one of the best backstops in the league"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

The Japanese dash to the south pole is to be made without dogs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Diaz says he will not retreat under fire. That depends upon how hot the firing be- comes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Modern rifles carry far, especially ,.nvng innocent bystanders
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Coney Island arises out of the ashes of a dead winter to demand express trains.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
Supreme Court Ends Suspense

assumed, similar to that rendered in the Standard Oil contention.
 The Standard Oil company is held by the court to be operating in re- straint of trade and must be dis solved. Alarmists, who predicted at the time that the so-called trust cases were carried to the supreme court that the country would go to smash if the highest tribunal of the land decided adversely, did not rep resent the business or financial world. Able financiers have said all along that if the Standard Oil and the American Tobacco company had to be dissolved the men at the head of those corporations would readily adjust themselves to the new conditions. And that is just what they will do.
 Early in the year when the inter state commerce commission decided against an advance in rates, alarm ists predicted all sorts of trouble. But with the exception of a few grouchy railroad presidents the transportation companies accepted the situation phil osophically and began the day after the adverse decision to meet the con- ditions against which they had been contending. The railroads made a strong plea for an advance in rates, but the interstate commerce commis- sion, after thorough investigation and careful consideration, decided that the railroads could be operated at profit on existing rates, and that the ship ping public should not be forced to pay an increase. Instead of the rail roads being ruined they are pros- pering, and now that even the grouchy officials have got over their grouchiness the railroad directors are taking bright view and are looking forward to the coming summer as period for high records in net earn ings.
 All branches of business have been affected by the suspense grow ing out of the Standard Oil and American Tobacco cases. At one time it was thought that the supreme court would adjourn for the summer with out handing down the long waited-for decision. Most fortunate it is that they relieved the suspense. There may be slump in Wall street. today, but all good stocks will advance al- most immediately.
 Yesterdays decision marks a turn ing point in the business affairs of this country The Standard Oil com pany and other great corporations are managed by men of exceptional capacity men, and in most cases straightforward and con- servative men. They are good Ameri- can citizens, and will be quick to ac- cept and act upon the supreme courts conclusion; and being able men they will soon find way to meet the re- quirements of the law.
 Business will begin to improve at once. Whatever temporary incon-
 venience to the corporations affected
 may result from the decisions, the
 general business world will not only
 not be disturbed but will be all the
 more heartened from the very fac, that the supreme court has acted. Ii
 we have been hearing in some quar.
 ters of dull times during the past
 few weeks, prosperity talk should Lt
 heard from now on. The railroadl and the iron and steel interests vii
 be more active in the months to com, than they have been any time thil
 year. The summer of 1911 should therefore, be one of the best sum
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

To be a soldier in Mexico in July and August Is no light or pleasing task.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

CARPTNG CRITICS. The hat he wore last year, Who puts it on again. Is more than apt to hear Some whispers of disdain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
TfIE LAZY MAI

THE LAZY MAN He tried so hard to stay awake His efforts were in vain: A little nap he still wouldstalze And soon would doze again. His yawns enormous were to see, His languor was intense, That poor chap lacked the energy To sit upon fence. His balance there he could not keep, Without some effort made So stretched him where the grass was
 deep
 And slumbered in the shade.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

' All believe in brush plan until the
 first of the month M
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Peace Is safe and at hand when Diaz quits. and not minute before.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
HOW TT CAME ARoJrT.

HOW IT CAME ABOUT. There goes a man who has been in hundreds of revolutions" You don't say," "Yes. He used to work on a Ferris wheel'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
EXCITEMENT AT HOME

EXCITEMENT AT HOME.
 "Sublot doesn't seem very much inter- ested in the plans for King Georges cor onation.'
 No. indeed. He's getting lettuce out of his garden now"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
New orIe.p. Lnvyer visits city


 James E. Zunts, formerly of Bir- mingham but for many years a promi- nent lawyer of New Orleans. spent Sum day and yesterday here. He was cor dially greeted bv many of his old friends.
 | twelve years ago l was living Tn | Birmingham and while l thought then that the district would push ahead l had no idea that this city would be- | como the strong industrial and com mercial center that find 1t today" said Mr. Zunts. "The strides that Birming- ham has made in the past few years have been marvellous. The Improvements | in the outlying sections have transformed | the appearance of those sections and | have made Birmingham a beautiful I as well as a solid city
 Looking at things here today one need not have uncommon imagination to become an ardent prophet for Bir- mingham's future. So much has been done on scale of great magnitude that it seems only a question of time when the Birmingham district will rival the great industrial centers of the north" " The Worlds Fair Project There Is every reason to believe that Birmingham will make success of it's cotton industrial exposition in 1909," said Joseph H. Daffren of Philadelphia. "The exposition or worlds fair movement has just been launched, 1 understand, through the Chamber of Commerce. Eight years may seem a good while off. but if Birmingham's world expo sition Is to materialize the movement has not been started too soon. .4
 "A few years ago Atlanta undertook to get up worlds fair for the celehra- ton Of the opening of the Panama canal. I believe whirlwind campaign for subscriptions was made and com siderable progress was reported, but the scheme was finally dropped Atlanta has had many excellent expostions and this was the only time when it under took too large a job. The trouble was that Atlanta did not allow herself time to organize and work up the project. ,
 Birmingham, by having eight years in which to proceed should be able to raise two or three million dollars in popular subscriptions from the people of Alabama, to say nothing of large appropriations from the state and from the national government. Birmingham is the most centrally located city in the south and Is in many respects ideal from a worlds fair point of view"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16
SOME OBSERVATIONS. .

Many a man sets a pace with his love letters that he is never able to keep up with afterwards. The milk of human kindness has soured into limbur- ger cheese with some people. ' You cannot preserve friendship in alcohol. < The greatest human paradox Is the messenger boy who develops into the fast young man. < If you can't smile, sniffle; if you can't sniffle, snort; but don't sulk. Anything in the world but sulk, a grouch and grunt. They are the worst ever and never got anybody anything worth having. A Goose town man says a wheelbarrow is an inno- cent looking vehicle, but when a man comes home under the quiet stars of night wearing brown study and a 1o- year-old plug hat and tries to walk over one it generally comes out ahead of the game.-Leavenwort Labor Chronicle.
 KNOCKING OFF
 That man is bound
 To make hit,
 Who always knows
 Just when to quit.
 Since this is true,
 Wise men avow.
 By George. l b'lieve
 I'll quit right now, r PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

GALLANTRY THROWN AWAY. Why don't you dance with the belle of the ball?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

And sl9mbered in the shade.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-16

Whats the use? She's my wife"