The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1911-05-03
ARGUE Boards and BADNESS
LEvITI THRtST INTO DEBATE
By NICK LONGWORTH.
Hc says senator Tom Carter's Whiskers
Ever BetOkened Bad Faith and the
senator Tells of the Daid Mans End
Senator Bob Taylor RhapsodiIes.

WHisheTb are greater ueITlfnent 10
man than a bald head" was the ques
tion debated with seriousness at the
National Press Club tonight by foul
men of prominence in public life. Rep
-esentative Nicholas Longworth of Ohio
and Senator Bob Taylor Of Tennessee
upheld the affirmative. Former Speaker
Cannon and former Senator Thomas G
Carter of Montana took care OF the mega
tive. II was admitted by all present that
both sides Of the quest ion were repre-
sented by specimens whom nature hac
generously qualified for the contro-
versv
Scott e. Bone. formerly publisher of
the Washington Herald. was the referee
DR.. Harvey W. Wiley. chief of the bureau
Of chemistry at the Agricultural De-
partment was the official timekeeper
The assembly room Of the Prcss Club
was crowded with newspaper men. Sena.
'ors and Representatives.
After the four debaters had verbally
assaulted one another with grna. enth,I-
eiasm for a totel Of forty minutes MIR
Bone refused 10 make decision He
turned the responsibility over to Speaker
Champ Clark. who also lodged. Mr.
Clark passed the buck 10 the Ways and
he pointed out. is charged with the duty
Of passing upon the merits Of wool, free
raw and otherwise.
Nick Longworth who has head like
the upper half Of a we'll polished ostrich
egg opened the struggle
Il am not willing TO assume" said
Mr., Longworth. that badness ia in any
sense handicap either in public or pri-
vate life. ] shall therefore leave the
Affirmative side to my cofiddler. Senator
Taylor. Centuries ago whiskeritls was
excusable. The beard in those days
was an object Of dignity. 1t was an evil
dence Of good faith. 1t is related that
Joab approached one Am:,sa and la id
his fingers upon hi2 whiskers with a
desire TO kiss him He neglected to note
that Joab had sword and he was
promptly smitten beneath the fifth rib
If anv one OF you members of the press
will 90 into Uncle Joe Cam on COM
mittes room and place your fingers on
his whskers whom do you think will
get 1t beneath the fifth rih?'
Tom Carter's whiskers. Mr.. Longw ort h
declared, were worn IA q badge of bad
faith.
Whenever any eSpectant officeholder.
he said. applied 10 Carter for job and
when he desired to have his secretary
know the promise was dead one he
gently stroked his whiskers. On the few
his promise he left his whiskers 'es-
chewed. That is the history Of the
Senator from Montana
just at this physiological moment
Timekeeper Wiley interrupted to tell
MIR. Longw orth that ne had only one
minute more OF his ten minutes remaining
terrup,ionsi. demanded Mr Longs orih
savagely. There was q wrangle over the
refusal OF the referee TO make these time
allow ances and the Hon Nicholas sal
down after delivering this shot
Il contend that whiekers are unsani-
tary and may be receptacle for germs
and other herbivor@.-
Mr.. Iongworth got 'ong round Of ap-
plause. which merged into the ovation
that greeted Senator Carter as he arose
TO his feet solemn of expression and pink
Of cheeks lingering the wondrous paint
brueh whisksrs that have won him fame
He was viribly indignant al the personal
illusions made bv MIR. Iongworth
The committee that selected this sub
ject for debate" he said severely. never
supposed that IL might be turned into .,
matter Of levity. The heated unguarded
personal illusions put forth clearh do
monstrate that the sub icct is Of character
calcuiated 10 lead to bad blood To
begin with. no man in this world ever
voluntarily wore bald head. A bald
head is an atfliction, IA disease. a standing
Ioke and a physical intlrmity"
Senator Carter dug into the Bible for
several examples 10 prove his contention
=. My friend l.ongworth from Ohio, said
Mr.. Carter. is really "a bearded man
Whlskers originally consisted Of those
Two little hairy protuberances family
cast upon the breeze and whlsked back
and forth. II was the mustache that
originally CAV" the name To 'whiskers
The Senator paused and shook his finger
a' the ohio member.
NO fair maiden" he said in solemn
bearded man Moreo, ar" and here
the Senator again wagged his finger at
Mr. I.OnRworth the baldh.aded man
naturally goes to PRISON. His head is
ready. The subject is prepared for his
future
Mr. Iongwor'h, grinned and flushed
clear mp to his back hair
Il might quote TO YOU from holy writ /"
the Senator added. from now until to-
morrow morning and ! could only reach
the conclusion that wherever there was
amentation and sorrow and distress
heads we're shorn to make them bald az
An evidence Of suffering and penitence
Whether in sacred or profane history
all human experience, from
high station down to a place in the front
row OF the theatre, the baldheaded man
has been the butt Of Jokes from the be-
ginning to the end"
Senator Taylor who has q great repu-
tation as performer on the Chautauqua
circuit. was warmly greeted when he arose
TO uphold the honor Of the shining dome
He wore an air Of profound seriousness
and smoothed his hairless peak as he
leaped into flight Of oratory.
AWAY up among the mountains Of Ten
nessee." he said. where the bald peaks
point upward toward the sky and where
the bald eagles circle around thcm, for
ever teaching the lesson Of liberty, only a
few short summers ago. ] WAS born bald =
headed My father before me was ex-
tremely bald
When opened my eyes and looked
upon his FURNISHED dome ] imagined the
whole world was baldheaded and then
when my mother pressed her soft cheek
and chin 10 mine Ibid not dream there was
in ali this earth such "a thing AS whiskers
BIT as tho years rolled on u splendid shock
OF hair sprang mp on the top Of n,y head
and waved in triumph above my classic
brow CurlS hung about my temples like
halo Of glory and when | looked in a
mirror dreamed that was beautiful
r!' alas. those raven ,rcsScs
Ike autumn leaves began 20 "a.
They feil until my head reseNlhrl
rha, thing they Call billiard haG
Ever since ] lost my hair" Senator
TAYLOR concluded, y have always had a
horror for hair and a contempt for whiSk-