Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1911-11-09
NO HOPE
FOR HER

Miss Merton was one of those I'M
claimed blessings for whom their fem
mime friends who have achieved the
great end of matrimony are constantly
On the lookout for husbands.
She was the kind of girl-of forty
Or thereabout-of whom 1t is always
taid: Isn't it the greatest pity in the
Rorld that she never married2 She
you'd have made such good wife
Dor some mani"
Miss Merton herself wasn't particu-
hRrly troubled about her state of sin
gle blessedness. I'm too fat to make
hit with the men, she would say
with a ripping giggle. Besides,
ARugh too much. The men always
Bhink I'm making fun of them"
Her sister-in-law, John Mertons
wife, was devoted to Miss Merton, and
was most anxious to see her charms
appreciated.
When her sister-in-law called her up
on the telephone and asked her to dine
with them on a certain evening, on
which Harriet happened to know that
John was going to bring home bust
ness acquaintance whom she remem-
bered to have heard Mrs. John speak
Of as very reserved and dignihed
but prosperous widower, Harriet
chuckled
Does he like them plump" she
queried.
Does who like what plump"
Harriet's ripping giggle came over
the wire. why, Mr.. Ploperton, wives"
she returned, generally. John told
me he was going to bring Mr.. Ploper-
ton home with him tonight"
Il wish John wouldn't talk SO much"
Mrs. John retorted, impatiently.
did also the stately Ploperton
The dinner passed off delightfully."-.
Harriet evidently made quite an inn
preston on the prosperous widower.
She was natural and unaffected. After
dinner and a short game of bridge,
Harriet rose from the table.
We'll, john" she said to her broth
or, you know you'll have to take your
little sister home"
John remained seated. "Oh, ask
Ploperton," he said. lazily. Its on
his way"
Ploperton protested ponderously,
but quite sincerely, that he would be
delighted. AS he and Harriet stepped
put on the front porch Mrs. John gave
q little exclamation.
= why, it's been sleeting," she cried.
DO be careful. The steps are Slip
perry"
In spite of the uncertainty that at
tended their sliding feet, Miss Merton
and Ploperton were having an extreme
ly pleasant walk, when at the top of a
perfectly innocent looking hill, just
as Ploperton was saying CALAMITY, Il
hope l may soon have the pleasure of
-" he suddenly flung his arm wide to
the breeze. Then with an airy sweep
Of his leg he brought his feet into the
proper position for what is technically
known as sliding down HILL" and
with his coat tails standing out grand
Iy behind him and his arms rhyth-
mically beating the air in the most ap-
proved fashion, with an unbelievable
hghtness and grace, he sailed off, CIV
Ing forth, at short intervals, what
might have been smothered bellows of
10y.
For an instant Miss Merton main
famed her equilibrium at the top of
the hill, and then, as though inspired
by Ploperton's apparent sportiveness,
she gave little impromptu skip, her
teet few out from under her and with
a squeal of mingled terror and amuse-
ment she sat down and sped down the
hill after Ploperton.
The next thing of which she was
conscious was that she was sitting ut
the bottom of the incline with two sub
stantial feet planted in the middle of
Plopertons stately back. For an In
slant they sat thus, then Ploperton
faced about, looking with intense dis
gust into his companions face and
remarked: How ridiculous people
look doing a thing like thisI"
He proceeded to roll over until he
reached the edge of the sidewalk, on
which he took a firm grip with both
hands. Gradually and with extraordi-
nary care he walked himself up as
near as he could to where his hands
were and then undoubling In a very
gIngerly way he managed to regain
the perpendicular.
Miss Merton looked up from her
lowly position into her companions
disguised and indignant face. Then
che buried her own face in her mum
and shrieked with laughter.