davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1911-08-04
PECULIAR RECORD OF TRIO
Chance, Jennings and WEIGH often HIT
BY Pitched Bali-Unable to
Dodge Coming sphere.

Frank Chance. the leader Of the
Cubs. was overcome by heat the other
day and the physician In charge says
he cannot play bah again this year
This is severe blow TO the Cubs.
Chance liz one Of the unluckicst play
crs In the league lie ia one " the
three men who stood out above all
others when It came 10 being hit by
pitched balls The other two are
llughcy Jennings and Curtis WEIGH
The strlngcst thing OF all ns far
As two Of these men were concerned
was tho fact that they didn't mean
It. They were game all right. but not
game enough 10 voluntarily run the
risks they seemed to take. and the
countless bruises they received were
not endured TO help their teams but
because they couldn't dodge. It's q
fact--llugh Jennings could not dodge
4 ball. aud Frank Chance cannot duck
one now As for Curtis Wolch. he
was q different proposition llo grl
hit Intentionally time after time, and
never. perhaps. without full meaning
Tho box scores of the old BaltImot,
games seldom went into print without
the words, hit by pitched ball. jcn
nlugs" Tine after time llughcy wal
canuonadod and as rule. was bump
cd hard. His nerve ana glmcncss wcr,
widely praised. while some Of the crit
| les said he was simply ioolhardy TIL
| latter opinion was almost universal
/ when. after baltimore had safely wu'
the Dag. llughcy continued TO sc
thumrcl. and 20 rct h.t us we'll Al
these years ho had been unable Il
dodge. Ito seemed unable To cgnyc
tho sense OF danger from his brain q
his limbs Quickly enough to sprIu
aside. and ON several occasions he wa
knocked cold WHOM he knew the bal
was coming when bee was eager TO 90
out OF the way. ana simply couldn
make his muscles move In limo.
Frank Chance has been hlt In IN
head IS tlmcs. and stunned on 90 OF
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1911-08-04
The Shepherd of the Black Sheep

more intense form OF the smile. In
extreme cases the eyes are moistenCd
by the enusion from the lachrymal
glands"
There you have scientific dehnl.
ton. But It Is clear that mankind
would hardly take the trouble to 90
through that experience II that is all
that laughter consisted OF. They
would not regard a Dickens or a
Mark Twain as a benefactor merely
because perusal Of their writings
produced that No; even the pbiloso-
piers know that laughter 10 something
better than that-somothlng internal
that there is such thing MS silent
laughter. Hobbes calls laughter "a
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1911-08-04
Professor sir Charles Bell In the
Strand Calls II a conVulsiye Ae'
ton Of the Diaphragm.

laughter" says Professor Sir
Charles Ben In the London Strand, -
a eonvulsive action of the diaphragm.
In this state the person draws a full
breath and throws II out in interrupt
ed. short and audible ordinations,
TSis CONFUSION of the diaphragm is
the principal part Of the physical man
Hesitation oi laughter; but there are
several accessories. especially the
sharp vocal utterance arising from the
violent tension Of the larynx and the
expression al the features. this being
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1911-08-04
VIM Mnekmen Want Flag.

II is hardly q state secret, but II ia
a fact, that the Athletics are furlously
eager to win the championship this
year in the American league, for they
believe that the Giants are probable
winners of the National league cham
plonship, and they wish to play them
again for tho worlds championship.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1911-08-04

Of Sir Frank Lockwood something that
would make a stuffed bird rcjolce'
And those who listened 20 the splon.
dor Of merrlment which no could i'm
part by that laugh realize the Intense
value OF that emotional exercise
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1911-08-04

DO you ever think OF the lrreyocable
nature OF speech You may find,
yeara after your light word was
spoken spoken. that II made n whole
life unhappy. or ruined the peace OF
a usehold.--Stopford Brooke.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1911-08-04
Abb

Father thaylng cadeht his son In
n lle)-lIaven't always told you to
tell the truth?
son-Ves. father; but you also told
me never to become tho slave Of a
habit
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1911-08-04

nlctnresqucncss and abil'
ity In congress knows no sec
lions. Northurners. southern
era, fasteners and vcstcruera
have their strengths and their
weaknesses. their likes and their
dlslikes. their physical manner
lsms and their mental idlosyn'
crasics Just like all other human
beings.
There have been mon IN con
gress who year IN aud year out
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
oATs-2ba nu. Per Anrn.

That is the sworn to yield Of Theodore
Hermes, Lewis Co., Wash, had from
Salzer's Reiuvenated White Bonanza oats
and won handsome so acre farm. Other
big yields are l4l bus, ll9 bus, l03 bus,
etc, had by farmers scattered throughout
the u. S.
Salzer's Pedigree Barley, Flax, Corn,
Oats, Wheat, Potatoes, Grasses and Glow
ers are famous the world over for their
purity and tremendous yielding qualities.
We, are easily the. largest growers OF farm
seeds in the world.
Our catalog bristling with seed truths
and receive 10 packages of farm seed nov
elites and rarities, including above mar.
yelous oats, together with big catalog.
John A. Salzer Seed Co., ls2 South Sth St.,
La Crosse, Wis.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
MEMBER OF COMMERCE COURT

The successor in the interstate com.
merce commission of Martin Knapp,
who was recently appointed to the
new commerce court, Is Prof. Balthu-
ser Henry Meyer, one Of the most
prominent educators in the country
and an authority of note on political
economy and sociology.
Professor Meyer is native of Wis
consin, a graduate of the University
of Wisconsin and the University Of
Berlin, and has been an educator
since 1884, when he taught district
school in his native state. He has
been a member of the Wisconsin rail-
way commission and the new federal
railway security investigating COM
mission and has written many impor-
tant articles on railway legislation
and administration and other econom-
ic subjects.
The professor also served as expert
special agent for the bureau of the
census and interstate commerce COM
mission.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
WOULD SAVE ROADS BIG SUM

No man has been more in the pub.
lie eye of late than Louis d. Brandeis,
who not long ago declared that the
railways could save $1,O00,000 a day
by proper and efficient management
Mr.. Brandeis first came into promi.
nence in 1908, when as the head OF
the Public Franchise league of Boston
he was involved in the struggle over
the reorganization of the Boston gas
companies. Largely through his in
fiuence legislation was put through
which permitted the unification OF the
gas companies on unique principle.
The total capitalization of the new
company was made the same as that
of the valuation of the securities Of
the consolidated companies. The price
of gas was set at 80 cents thousand
feet. On that basis the company was
allowed to pay seven per cent. on
it's stock and one per cent. extra
for every reduction Of five cents a
thousand feet in the price OF gas. The
plan worked successfully.
lnently known through his share In
.hasetts to write industrial insurance
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
FUNNY TALE FREES SOLDIER
Civil War Veteran Relates Unique Ex-
perence During War-captors
Laugh and He Runs.

Amateur public speakers or persons
who have difficulty in remembering
"impromptu" remarks would do we'll
to consult Capt. A. r. Palmer of Chi
cago, commander of Meade post, G. A.
r., for an infallible cure for such for
getfulness. This would be his
recipe:
Get yourself captured in war and
entertain your captors with funny
stories until you have them off their
guard, so you can escape. Everything
you say will be stamped indelibly on
your mind" The rule has held good
for fifty years for Captain Palmer.
Every word of senseless tumble he
repeated to amuse couple of Con-
federates in 1861 while he racked his
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
MILD, GENTLE LAXATIVE
FOR WOMEN GIVEN FREE

So many of the ills Of women are due
to habitual constipation, probably be-
cause of their false modesty on the sub
1ect. that their attention cannot be too
strongly called to the Importance of keep
ing the bowels open. 1t is always impor-
tant to do that regardless of the sex, but
1t Is especially important in women.
From the time the girl begins to mem
struate until menstruation ceases she has
always vastly better prospects of coming
through healthy II she watches her bowel
movements. If you find yourself consti-
pated, with bad breath. pimply complex
Ion, headaches, belching gas and other
symptoms of indigestion and constipation.
take small dose of DR.. Caldwell's Syrup
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

brains for plan of escape from them
is with him still. Palmer. who was
born comedian, was also fleet of foot
One day on scout duty he was cap
tured by two Confederate soldiers.
When his captors started one on
each side Of him, he recited every
joke and comic verse he knew.
The previous spring, when "secesh"
talk was on every tongue, he had
spoken at the usual school "exhibi-
tion," giving a prepared lecture on
the paramount topic In the character
istic humor of that period. 1t was
nothing but idiotic dribble that came
to him as he trudged merrily toward
the Confederate camp at Centerville,
Va. bound for Libby or Andersonville,
but It is still fresh In his mind. This
is the speech he delivered:
Ladies and Gentlemen: | have riz
to give you warnin' and make some
what of a speech. say that crisis
has ariz and the wheels of govern
ment has stopped. The machinery
needs greasin' and the biler is busted,
and we are like bob-tailed ganders
floating down the stream of time. We
have had our harmony disturbed and
have been driven on the quicksands of
the Potomac. We have threatened to
dash everything into splinters, but we
will eventually pick ourselves up be-
fore we are gone goslins. The at
trapian knocks the adjacent joyous
regions of violent voice and whispers
in our ear for peace, but you give us
no peace. The peace has gone flick
ertng through the gloom of the other
climate to aid the miser in his dun
geon and the great Alexander. who
fitted the battle of Hunker Bill and
who, with agony, despair and frantic
shrieks, cried, oh, gravy!' Peace is
for the southern confederacy and
don't care a darn, for she's whole
horse and time, sure"
Palmer's harangue, accompanied by
| sweeping gestures and heroic poses.
threw his hearers into spasms of
laughter They didn't know just what
he meant, but It was funny. The ora
| tor resumed
ALREADY / see you travelling in
solid phalanx, with shouts that make
the earth ring while you come down
upon your opponents like a thousand
of brick on a rotten pumpkin. Blood
has got to be poured out of your op.
ponents like soap suds out of a wash
tub, and every one Of them that has
a soul as big as the white of mig
gers eye has got to fight. bleed and
die for you. The north may don their
rusty regimentals, grease the locks
of their guns, put in new flints. grind
their old scythes into swords, mount
their little airy horses, twelve abreast
blast the little rocks and blow up all
Gods creation. but still Jefferson
J Davis will remain"
This is as far as young Palmer got
in the muddle of nonsense. His aud
itors were frequently doubled up with
laughter.
They came to fence on the edge
of wood and the two southeiners
climbed over, confidently expecting
their prisoner to follow. He, however
hung back and instead of mounting
the fence broke off his speech, jumped
back suddenly and darted into the
woods like deer. A few ineffectua
bullets followed, but before night ht
was back In his own camp.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

Pepsin. 1t is a woman's favorite laxa-
tive. You will find that you can do away
with salts, strong cathartics ETC.. which
are entirely unsuited to woman's require
ments.
Mrs. Katherine Hahorstroh of NICK ees
Rocks. Pa, and Mrs. A. p. Herrick OF
Wheeler. Mich. who was almost para
lyzed in her stomach and bowels are now
cured by the use Of this remedy A free
sample bottle can be obtained by address,
ing DR.. Caldwell, and after you are con-
vinced OF Its merits buy 1t of your drug
gist at fifty cents and one dollar a bottle.
For the free sample address Dr. w. b.
Caldwell. 201 Caldwell building. Mont-
colo. Ill
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17


of the
northern
charge the Mexico the Chihuahua
subduing
the republic receiving his reward ito and hold the state of Chi
Nomnay Really
his
gobbled
people growing and
spite
O the he has more than3 years
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
MEXICO'S WEALTHIEST MAN

Not unlike the mighty estates Of
the old PATRONS, who used to own tre-
mendous tracts Of land around New
York and whose sway was more pow
erful than that of the most puissant
feudal baron in Europe, is that OF
Gen. Don Luis Terrazas, boss" OF the
state of Chihuahua, owner Of more
than half the land included within its
wide boundaries and the richest man
in Mexico. His wealth Is estimated
at not less than $25,000,00O gold and
many estimate 1t much higher. Ter
razas Is of interest at this time, for
many people are saying that he and
his son-in-law, Enrique Creel, are re-
sponsible for the rebellion in Mexico.
Gen. Don Luis Terrazas has lived
all his life in Chihuahua. His parents
were small landowners before the in
vasion Of Mexico by the French.
When Mexico began to try for free
dom from the foreign invaders Ter
razas, then young man without in
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
He-oh, yes; write verse occasion
ally-but I tear 1t all up as soon as
write 1t.
She-Ah! I knew you were clever.
A Trained Nurses Experiences with
Resinoi Ointment.

applied Resinol to an liberated leg
Of six months standing. Almost every
thing had been tried to heal 1t. Made
two applications day for four weeks
and leg was permanently healed.
I have used Resinol on children's
faces to heal eruptions and for every
thing that seemed to need an ointment
with satisfactory results in every case
Mrs. Isadore E. Cameron,
Augusta, Me. Graduated Nurse.)
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
spoHN,s DIsTEMPER CURE will

SPOHN'S DISTEMPER CURE will
PINK EYE, and the like among horses
of all ages, and prevents all others in the
same stable from having the disease. Also
cures chicken cholera, and dog distemper.
Any good druggist can supply you, or send
to mfrs. SO cents and 81 90 bottle. Agents
Spec. Contagious Diseases. Goshen, Ind.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
PASTOR TO HAVE BIG CHURCH

Rev. Charles F. Aked, who talked
seriously of resigning the pastorate
of the Fifth Avenue Baptist church
the Rockefeller church-in New York
city because Of the supposed failure
OF pretentious building project on
which he had set his heart, seems to
have won his point. As result Goth
am is likely to have the greatest
church on modern institutional lines
in the world.
John d. Rockefeller has plan un.
der consideration for presenting his
Fifty-fourth street homo and his ad-
joining realty holdings as a site for
the new home OF the congregation.
The trustees of the Fifth Avenue
church have for three years been
looking for a suitable site on which
to build a church such as DR.. Aked
desires. but the committee IN charge
failed to make a selection. Mr.. Rock
efeller has recently purchased a num-
ber Of plots surrounding his home
and 1t is believed that he Is rounding
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
Seven Pensioners In One Family.

Seven brothers and seven sisters
living in Foulsham, England, and the
adjacent parishes are receiving old
age pensions. The oldest of the seven
is eighty and the youngest seventy
one. Their united ages total $50
years. Their father was Philip Lam
bert, a carrier between Foulsham and
Norwich, who had a family Of 16, all
born in Foulsham and of whom IL are
now alive.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
A Way to Keep Love In.

Mrs. Honeybird-But, Dickey, dear,
the nat is so tiny. Why, the windows
are so small mouse, couldn't crawl
through. s...
Mr.. Honeybird-That Is all the bet
ter, dear. When poverty comes in
love can't fly through the window.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
Rheumatism Advice
Gives Prominent Doctors Best
Preserlptlon-ls Easily Mixed.

S~cN~~e~"S~c~~O~~~Oc~Sr
Get one ounce OF syrup OF Sarsapa-
filla compound and one ounce of Toris
compound. Then get half pint OF gooo
whisky and put the other two ingredi-
ents into v. Take q tablespoonful OF
bed time. Shake tho bottle before us-
Ing" This 10 not now in this city as
many OF the worse cases of rheumatism
and back-ache have been cured by II.
Good results come the first day. Any
druggist has these ingredients on hand
or will quickly get them from his
them.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

You will sneeze; perhaps feel chilly.
You think you are catching cold. Don't
wait until you know it. Take dose of
Hamlins Wizard Oil and you just can't
catch cold.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

A woman can straighten up a mans
desk in five minutes SO effectually that
he won't be able to find anything he
wants in five hours.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

WHEN RUBBERs BECOME NECESSARY
And your shoes pinch, Aliens Foot Ease, the Anti
septic powder 10 be shaken into the shoes is 1ustt
thing to use. Try IL for breaking in New Shoes
Sold every where, 26c- Sample FREE. Address A. g.
omsted. Le Roy, NY. DoRr accept any subst4tuts.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

Your druggist will refund money II PAZO ONT
MENT falls to euro any case of Itching, Blind,
Bleeding or Protruding Files in TO Ia days. 600.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

Too many girls who work find It cas-
Ter to get than to keep.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

Garfield Tea corrects constipation,
cleanses the system and purifes the blood
Good health is maintained by its use.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
All Depends.

Want a good anecdote about q
statesman"
WAS he re-elected?"
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

The fear of being called mean has
paved many a path to the poorhouse.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

available
IL suitable
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17
Do You Use Eye

Do You Use Eye saIvef
Apply only from Aseptic Tubes to
Prevent Infection Murine Eye Salve In
Tubes-New Size 25c. Murine Eye Liq-
uid 25c-50c. Eye Books in each Pkg.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

All druggists sell the famous Herb rem
edy, Garfield Tea. 1t corrects constipation
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

The longer we live the more we
realize what we might have done but
didn't.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

Every man is conner until he reach
es a certain age-then he's a goer
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1911-03-17

Loud apparel naturally proclaims the
man.
La Junta tribune., 1911-08-05
New Game Law.

Coiorado's new game law will be In
effect today-Ausust 9Th. Under the
provisions OF the referendum laws do
not become effective until the ex.
piration of ninety days II no petit
tion was filed against any OF the
amendments passed by the last legis
lature up to midnight last night the
new law will take effect on Au-
gust 9th and the open seasons will
be as follows:
Deer with horns. October list to
October 9th.
Prairie chickens, mountain and
willow grouse. August 18th to Oc-
tober 10th.
Sage chickens. August list to Sep.
tember lst
Ducks geese, brants, swans. cranes
piovers. curlews, snipes and other
wading marsh and shore birds and
water fowls. October LIST to March
LIST of following year.
Doves. August lst to September
LIST. except in attitudes OF 1000 feet,
July 10th TO August 10th.
Open seasons In running streams
for trout and erayling. not less than
seven Inches In length. May 25th TO
October 3lst. In lakes May LIST to Oc.
tober 3lst.
Open season for whitefish. bass
catfish and wall.eyed pike. March LIST
! to November 30th.
AS the new amendments do not
take effect until August 9Th. the
doves and sage chicken seasons will
not open this year until August 9Th.
and all parties found killing doves or
sage, chickens before that date will
be prosecuted to the full extent Of
the law.
La Junta tribune., 1911-08-05
Good Reads Fund Available.

Attorney General Griffith has rem
dered an opinion to the state high
way commission in which he holds
that all the money In the internal
improvement and internal improve
ment income funds is under the ju.
risdiction of the commission and can
be used for construction OF state
highways. These funds now amount
to $23S,67S.S3. and 1t is the opin.
ion OF the state treasurer that at
least SIPS 200 more will be added be-.
fore the close of the present admin
jstration.
This means much for Bent county.
where the commission has already
taken steps to make extended i'm.
provements on the new Santa Fe
trail. Engineer Charles Beach, Of
Las Animas, has been employed to
go over the road and make estimates,
and is now actively engaged In that
work.-Bent County Democrat.
La Junta tribune., 1911-08-05
ANSWERS THE CALL
La Junia People Have Found
That This is True.

\ cold. n strain. u sudden wrench.
\ little cause may hurt the kidneys.
spells NJ backaehe often follow.
Or some irrcguiarii, ~ the urine.
4 splendid remedy for such attacks.
A medicine that has cutvd thou
sands
l. Doan's Kidney pills.
Thousands ~ people rely upon u.
Here II obe easel
Mrs. e.. II. Brown. Sheridan Lake.
Colo. says. "for several years I had
q most annoying aud distressing Kid
pcy dinlruity. I tried many remedies
IN order IL obtain relief. hut ~ M
avail until Deans Kidney PIN, were
finally brought To my attention. As
they were highly recommended. ! dc.
cided 10 give them trial. The re-
suits of their usc have been entirely
satisfartory."
For saIs by I'll dealers. Price ~
cents. postsr. .Milburn TO-. Bunaio
New forh. sois agents for the United
StstsA
Rsmssshss the anss--lIosn's
taks on u1AsS.
La Junta tribune., 1911-08-05
rlevr From Sugar eeess.

An entirely new use. and one that
may In tin. become very important,
has been discovered for SUGAR bee,s
This Ia the making II them into
flour. says Harper's Weekly. This
flour Ii now being manufactured In
considerable quantities st Surcsnes,
In France. whore an immense dryer
has been built for the purpose.
The first part Of tho process con
sisis In rboppinx up the beets and
drying the water out of them. They
contain sevcntytwo per cent oi
water. nesriy all of which IL removed
by evaporation. Dy this means io0
pounds Of dry material In obtained
from 557 pounds Of bects.
This dry material contains more
than sevcn'y-pcr cent Of sugar. and
therefore on being ground TO n fine
meal IL exceedingly sweet and adapt
I'd 10 the making Of cakes and pud
ditss. The susar.beet -four II ssti
mated 10 contain something like eigh
V.tuo PER cent Of pure nutrimsnt.