davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
RECORD HARD-LUCK STORY
"siII" Jordan Has an Experience That
Caps All Stories Of Mis-
fortune.

You've heard all those funny hard
luck stories. but this is one that hap
pens to be true and caps them all.
says the New York correspondent Of
the Cincinnati Times-Star "Bill" Jor-
dan Is teamster. He hadn't eaten
for "a hours and had been out Of work
for week when he met a man who
promised him a job Meet me on the
corner OF Fiftieth street and Lexing-
ton avenue at nine o'clock In the
morning." said the man. Jordan was
getting weak from hunger. He went
to one OF the Bowery pawnbrokers
and traded his clothes for a worse
suit and enough money to Ill him with
buckwheat cakes. He had just called
the Bowery where cash accompanies
each order as a guarantee of good
falkland had paid for them-when
Gre broke out in the restaurant. Jor-
dan managed to seize three on the
top and ran into the street, munching
them. but his cakes and his money
were irretrievably gone. That was at
night. He walked about all night
and IL was a bitterly cold night-be-
cause he didn't have a nickel with
which to buy flop" downtown. Jor-
dan is self-respecting man and he
would not beg. Pretty shaky from
want of food and the all night fight
against the cold, he appeared at the
corner Of Fiftieth street and Lexing-
ton avenue an hour before time
While he was there the explosion took
place In the Grand Central station.
Jordan was shot across the street by
1t and when he came to some time
later he noticed people laughing at
him. The entire rear elevation of
that miserable old suit he had res
cued from the pawnbroker had been
blown out. He couldn't even walk on
the streets until he had picked up
some castoff newspapers and pinned
them across the gaps. And then he
dared not sit down. He returned to
the corner where he had been told
to wait and stayed there for hours,
shaking In the chill breeze, waiting
for the man to come to whom he had
hired. In the meantime he volun-
teered his services to those who were
clearing away the ruins, although he
was almost too weak to do any good
He helped carry out one of the vic.
tins Of the explosion. 1t was the
man who had hired him.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
zone Man."

81 have a servant girl who is capable
and good natured and whom | wouldn't
willingly part with, but she troubles
me one way" said Mrs. Clockley to a
visitor. "She is a Finn and knows
but q few words of English, so the ar
rival of anyone from a guest to gro
Ger boy is heraldcd by her footsteps
and the solemn words:
lone man.
ut is laughable and vexing. I have
to go all the way downstairs to ascer-
tain who it is. / am thinking Of hav-
ing a series of mirrors put up to re-
fleet the visitors image upstairs. Or
perhaps | can invent coming tower
such as submarines are equipped with.
AT any rate shall never be able
to stand it until she learns enough
English to tell who wants me-"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
HONEST CONFESSION
A Doctors Talk on Food.

There are no fairer set Of men on
earth than the doctors, and when they
find they have been in error they are
usually apt to make honest and manly
admission of the fact
A case in point is that Of practi-
toner, one of the good old school, who
lives in Texas. His plain, upvarnished
tale needs no dressing up:
81 had always had an intense preju-
dice, which can now see was unwar-
rantable and unreasonable, against all
muchly advertised foods. Hence. l
never read q line of the many ads OF
Grape Nuts, nor tested the food till
last winter.
while In Corpus Christi for my
health, and visiting my youngest son.
who has four OF the ruddiest, healthi-
est little boys l ever saw, l ate my
first dish of Grape-Nuts food for sup
per with my little grandsons.
II became exceedingly fond OF IL
and have eaten package of 1t every
week since, and find 1t delicious, re-
freshing and strengthening food. leav-
ing no III effects whatever. causing no
quotations with which l was for
merly much troubled. no sense Of
fullness, nausea, nor distress Of stom-
ach In any way.
There Is no other food that agrees
with me SO well, or sits as lightly or
pleasantly upon my stomach as this
does.
IL am stronger and more active
eince l began the use OF Grape-Nuts
than I have been for 10 years, and
am no longer troubled with nausea
and Indigestion" Name given by
Postum Co.. Battle Creek. Mich.
Look in pkgs. for the famous little
book. The Road TO MELVILLE"
There's a Reason"
Ever resd the above letter. 4 view
ono cpv~srs FROM tive 90 ttw~. They
are genuine, true. ssd fell of hsrssa
enterest
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
FEARED THE SCREECH OWL
Woman Was Not SuperstltIous, but
She Cut Short Her Visit to
tho Country.

I'm not bit superstitious, not In
the least bit, butt don't ever want to
hear another screech owl in the
night" said woman who remained In
the country until the holidays. Posi-
lively, believe / should go mad II
ever heard that blood-curdling sound
again.
you know they say In the country
that If screech owl comes crying
around the house it's a sure sign of
death OF course, I've no faith In
that sort of nonsense, but all the same
the coachmans mother died after the
OWLS first appearance.
THE owl came back and one Of the
employees died. 1t came back again
and l decided that, after all, l didn't
want to spend Christmas in the coun-
try and lighted back to town. The
coachman said something about the
old rule and l just naturally packed
up my buds and bought a ticket for
New York.
"Ugh-h-h! l shiver now wheneve-
I think of that owl In the apple tree"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
WHAT THEY SAID.

Penelope-Charley called last night.
Justine-That's twice In q week.
Isn't II?
Penelope-Yes.
JUSTINE suppose he'll come three
times in the next week?
Penelope-That's what my brother
says.
Justine-And six times the next!
Penelope-That's what aunty says.
Justine-And seven times the next!
Penelope-That's what papa says.
Justine-And then what?
Penelope-Then we'll get married;
that's what everybody says.
Justine-And then what?
Penelope--Then shant see him
any more Of an evening; that's what
mamma says.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
Aviators' Superstitions.

A chapel in the department of the
Charente-Inferieure, France, called
Notre Dame du Plantin, has just been
dedicated to aviators, and medal
with the effigy Of this new Notre
Dame is going to be struck and dis
tributed to all flyers who ask for 1t. It
Is curious commentary upon our hui
man weaknesses that the adopts in
this newest science or sport, who seem
to brave everything, are really rather
superstitious persons. Santos Dumont
attributes his immunity from accidents
to medal of st. Benoit, presented to
him by Comtesse d'Su, which he wears
on bracelet. Edmond Poillot always
carries about with him a four-leaved
clover, and is very fond of horseshoes,
which he collects. Tabuteau. who holds
several records, believes. like a Monte
Carlo gambler, the number % is favor
able to him, while poor Delagrange,
who met with his death at Bordeaux,
had passion for the figure 13-for no
other reason apparently than that he
was born on March Is, 1873.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
Interpreted.

Man," said the new cook, II should
like to ask you something. It's about
jenkins, the butcher. He says / shall
have five per cent. on all orders give
him. What does that mean?"
The lady of the house looked
thoughtful. These technicalitjes.
Jane" she said. ARE hard to explain
exactly. Broadly. it means that we
shall get our meat from Jones in fu-
ture."
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
Children Work at Home.

Miss Mary Van Kleeck. who is EN-
ployed by the Sage Foundation, said
recently in New York that the agita-
ton against the child in the factory
had simply meant the transfer. of the
bulk of the work 10 the homes of the
poor. She says the law provides that
no work shall be turned out of tene.
ment that has not been licensed. but 1t
does not seem hard to obtain the II.
cense. and there are now more than
i2.Qca licensed tenements.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
ONE PAIR OF GOlD-FlllED
BEAUTY PINS

will be sent to you FREE, also our
new Premium List. Buy three pack
ages of Jellycon at 10c each and cut
out and send to us the red diamond
trade mark on each package; also tell
us your favorite way of serving JEL-
LYCON. This offer Is made to induce
you to try JELLYCON. the perfect
Jelly dessert. YOUR GROCER SELLS
JELLYCON, or will get 1t for you.
E. s. BURNHAM CO., NEW YORK
CITY, PREMIUM DEPARTMENT.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
A Useful Remedy.

Little four-year-old Billy was Wis
lung his neighbor. Jerry. Billy
showed every evidence of a bad cold.
Ierry's mother asked with grave SO
hcitude: Don't your mother give
you anything for your cold. Billy?"
Whereupon Billy answered, feeling
In all his pockets at once: "Yes.
ma'am. she gives me a clean hand.
kerchief. "-Lippincott's.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
A Protest.

please ask the orchestra not to
play 'Ogling Eyes said the cranky
patron TO the head waiter.
BEG pardon. sir. but that piece is
being played by special request"
Il don't care rap about that. I'm
trying to eat spaghetti and | can't do
L 10 syncopated time"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01

Miss Fretty-We are warning all
our friends that they have to take
care of themselves when they come
10 our house, for we are going to
hang up mistletoe.
Miss Oldgirl-Id like TO see any.
body dare to kiss me.
Miss Pert-Don't worry. Nobody
would Go il. even on a dare.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
His Excuse.

What was your father doing In the
back yard so early this morning?"
Looking for his pipe. He threw II
away on New Years day, but last
night he and ma had a spat and now
he's going to smoke again just for
Spite"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
His Arbitration.

Richard. aged IL. Warburton. aged
IA, and Gordon. aged 10. were discuss
Ing what they would do with a million
dollars.
Richard said: II would buy a motor
boat"
Warburton said: 81 would spend my
million for music and theater tickets"
Gordon. the 10-yearold. shifted at
them derisively. "Humph!" said he.
I'D buy an automobile. and spend the
rest In 1nes!"-Harper's Bazaar.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
Accomplishments Demanded.

do you think diplomat should
know the language of the country to
which he is assigned?"
Certainly. He should have such
perfect command of it that it will be
as hard to grasp his exact meaning as
II he were unfamiliar with it."
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
An Exception.

Il have observed" said the old pro-
fessor, mournfully, that women now
adays are too frivolous. The average
woman's reading is not productive of
any profit"
Don't you believe IT," put in the
family man. When she reads the
bargain ads it's productive of profit to
the advertisers. Catholic Standard
and Times.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
A Puxxier.

Pop, you know everything. don't
your" said little Joe.
Some very few things in the uni
verse might have escaped me-" an
swered the parent. modestly, but
they are hardly worth mentioning.
What do you want to know?"
Il want to know" replied little Joe.
what relation an august king is TO
q May queen?"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
UNCHANGED.

Do you act toward your wife az
you did before you married herr"
Exactly. ! remember just how
/ used to act when l first fell in love
with her; l used to hang over the
fence In front Of her house and gaze
at her shadow on the curtain. afraid
to go in. And l act Just the same
now when I get home late"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
Back From Abroad.

The city niece was telling about
her European trip.
And Brussels" she related with
much enthusiasm. "Ah. Brussels was
such a charming city"
do tell" exclaimed the rural aunt
And which did you enjoy the most.
dearie. Brussels carpets or Brussels
sprouts?"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
AzA 8 :, !! +: "A;
TOO COMPLACENT.

He simply wouldn't worry.
But also wouldn't hurry.
Nor took part In the hustle
When others gan to hustle.
Just sat around still dreaming.
His brain with fancies teeming.
Till Fortune passed right by him
And vowed she'd never try him
Although. in sooth. tits nesdfui
To stay serene. the speedful
Progressive sort OF fellow,
fet kindiy-souled and mellow,
Is one who'll cop the prize out
And bulge old Envy's eyes out.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
HIS FIRST cAvIARE.

Poor Uncle Henry embarrassed us
all when we dined In the ultra-fash-
ionable restaurant"
In what way?"
why, the waiter brought the dear
old man a caviare sandwich. and
guess what he said?"
What, my dear?"
why. he said he didn't care about
blackberry preserves smeared on his
bread for dinner"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
Merely Wished to Know.

Mother did father have to ask you
more than once to be his wife,"
why, dearest, what makes you ask
such a question:"
Il just wanted to know whether
you always answered no before you
thought. the same as you do to me
now"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
Two Comparisons.

Mrs. Sage-Look how different the
fate of these two sisters. Emily mar.
ried and became miserable wife.
Miss Giggle-Eow hard to bear!
Mrs. Sage-Her sister Jane took
warning by her fate and remained an
old maid.
Miss Giggle-How unbearablo!
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
That Moved Him.

Stsylate-Has your father any OBJ.
ections TO m paying you visits. -.iss
Brightly?
Miss B. tglancing at the clock)-l
hink he would prefer that you raid
hem In installments. Mr.. Staylata
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
Profound Eaotlsm.

"Twiggs aspires to be looked on as
a strong minded man."
why do you think so?"
Hes going around telling every.
body that he hasn't made Q single New
Year reso.uticG"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
A Significant Selection.

THAT was a mighty inconsiderate
brass band that serenaded me on cleo
ton night" remarked the defeated
member of congress.
What was the trouble?"
ut didn't play anything but Home.
Sweet Home"
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
a Stern Chase.

What is that old man tearing down
the road in that fashion for. do you
suppose?"
In pursuit OF happiness"
You don't expect me to believe
that racing himself half to death
makes him happy?"
'Of course not. He is in pursuit
Of his daughter and her lover who are
eloping."
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
Modesty.

Lady (standing on a window ledge
Of burning building about to cave in.
70 firemen below)-You Gather tell
hose naughty men down there to shut
heir eyes, or I'll jump head first
Judge
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
A Way Of Getting Even.

Hewitt-When | asked the old man
for his daughters hand he walked all
over me.
Jewett-Can't you have him arrest
ed for violation of the traffic regula-
tons?
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
oh. Suoarl

Sweet little feet is not poetic.
At least not altogether.
Since we have learned the trusts are put
Ting glucose into leather.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
Another Version.

Mother. may I go out to skater"
You may. my little Myrt.
But you must stay close by the stove
And wear your hoppie skirt
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01

easy to take as candy, regulate and invig-
crate stomach. liver and bowels. Do not
crime
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01

To give profitable returns dairy
cows must be we'll bred, well fed and
well managed.
The most profitable nut trees for the
middle states are the chestnuts, wal
nuts and shellbarks.
The first great requisite in the care
of stock is perfect cleanliness, pure air
and abundant sunshine.
A hen that does not lay usually
does not bother the trap nest unless
she is after eggs for food.
Flax has been found a profitable
crop in the West and seems well
suited to the prairie soils.
In buying barrel churn don't get
one too small; il you do you will find
it takes a long time to churn.
Raising of broilers is a business by
itself. Start on a small scale and then
with success increase the capacity.
Scrub poultry may serve a good pur-
pose in the pot, but they should not
be permitted to propagate their kind.
Stables should be we'll lighted and
so arranged that the light will not
strike the animals directly in the eyes.
Few farmers and poultrymen know
about the feeding value of bright.
well-cured clover hay for laying hens.
You can not make a greater mis-
ducks, especially If they are Indian
Runners.
One of the very important things to
do. this month is to make your selec-
ton of seeds and plants and order
them now.
Pruning apple trees involves so
many principles that only the most
general survey can be given in a short
discussion.
The dairy COW is one of the best
money makers on the farm; but, like
hens, she pays only according to
value received"
The Holstein, the Ayrshire and the
milking shorthorn are the best breeds
for the milk farmer to raise. For
cream select the Guernsey.
Good comfortable housing and judi
cious feeding are the two cardinal
principles of successfully wintering
the breeding ewes.
The value of skim milk on the
farm when fed in conjunction with
grain is greater than it Is usually
given credit for being.
1t Is a good time now to take amin
ventory of your farm and plan to keep
records Of all transactions connected
with your farming operations.
Don't be in a hurry to get rid of the
old bull Remember that he has prov
en- himself and the calf that you buy
will be more or less of lottery.
A chilled egg will bring forth a
weak chick II II matches at all and a
weak chick that has hard work to live
is sometimes worse than no chick at
all.
During the breeding season mate
one drake with four ducks until the
last of April, then diminish the num-
Der of brakes to one drake to five or
six ducks.
The lack Of success which so many
farmers have with chickens in largely
neglect to give the fowls the attention
these plans call for.
Anyone can easily see that bone is
one OF the best feeds for producing
eggs. as the fat assists in forming the
yolk of the egg and also in sustain
ing the fowl in winter.
Butter is a good price. Feed is com
paratively cheap, especially so IL you
have saved all OF your roughage such
as cornstalks. the best of our straw
and things of that sort which fire.
quently 20 to waste.
In making good butter and wrap
ping the prints with paper printed
with your name and the name of the
farm, the goods will advertise them
selves and by making up your milk
at home you are sure to get all there
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
FATHERS PATENT.

Johnnie-Why do you have three
pairs of glasses. father?
Father use one to read with. one
% see at a distance. and the third to
ind the other two.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01

The entire object Of true education
Is to make people not merely do the
right thing. but enjoy the right thing.
-Ruskin.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01
ALWAYS Thus,

You are most unlucky cuss-
or course. IL has occurred to you
That II is always some else
Somebody leaves million to.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01

Don't be in hurry to get rid of the
old bull. Remember that he has prov
en- himself and the calf that you buy
will be more or less of a lottery.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01

1t is a good time now to take ansin-
ventory of your farm and plan to keep
records OF all transactions connected
with your farming operations.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01

The value of skim milk on the
farm when fed in conjunction with
grain is greater than it Is usually
given credit for being.
Charlevoix county herald., 1911-04-01

A chilled egg will bring forth a
weak chick that has hard work to live
is sometimes worse than no chick at
all.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-14
ICE WAGON DRIVER
GIVEN FINE TODAY
Employe of Rettig & John
son Co. Said to Have
Given Short Weight.

The first move in the city ice war
was made yesterday when Dairy In
spector Charles Flock filed an affida-
tig and Johnson charging him with Civ
ing short weight. Harry Ryder, porter
at Louis Muth's saloon, is said to have
ordered 375 pounds of ice Flock, who
suspected short weight from this par
ticular wagon, had been watching the
place all morning. Immediately after
the ice man carried the ice into the
kitchen of the saloon. Flock, noticing
that he had failed to weigh the ice, OBJ
weight Sc pounds short. The affidavit
was shortly filed, and Ruhl arrested
yesterday afternoon.
In police court this morning Ruhl
was fined SO and costs. Immediately
an appeal was taken by Rettig and
Johnson company, represented by At
torney Byram Robbins who was de-
Tending Ruhl. The attorney declared
that though the company has no per-
sonal interest in the case, it wanted
to show that all drivers are ordered to
give full weight to consumers. John
son and Rettig were both in the court
Attorney Robbins announced that both
of the proprietors declared that they
ordered their men to give full weight
and to weigh the ice. Park Superin-
tendent Ed Hollern has said that Ret
tig told him over the telephone that it
would be impossible to weigh all the
ice, as there is not time.
The ice company based their case
on the good intent of Ruhl. 1t was de-
clared that Ruhl thought he was de-
livering the correct weight in ice OF
to Rettig was admonished by the court
for prompting a witness, while Mr..
Flock was called" for laughing when
witness made some statement.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-14
SENATE PROGRAM
DETERMINED UPON
Important Measures to Be
Voted Upon by Aug. =
Reciprocity First.
National News Assoc iation>

Washington. July 1.-THE senator
ial program calling for a final vote on
pending legislation on August 3rd was
presented this afternoon by Senator
Penrose.
The senate then agreed to the fol-
lowing program: Vote on reciprocity
on July %: wool bin. July -; free
list. August !: reapportionment. Aug
ust 3rd; statehood bills, August eth.
This decision was reached after a
long informal discussion participated
in by Senators penrose. Martin Lafol.
lette. Cummins. Borah. Bailey and
others. 1t vas with difficulty that any
arrangement was reached. but these
dates are agreed upon.
Senator Kenyon of Iowa. wanted to
know if the agreement contemplated
the disposition only of the five meas
ures and if an effort would be made to
adjourn. He urged the campaign pub
licity bill should be passed. Senator
Penrose. i'll replying said this agree
ment would not prevent the consider
alton of the publicity bill if the Senate
desired to take it up.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-14
IS TO Be SAWBONtS|
New Calling for Prize Fight
err Mccoy.
(National News Association1

Stamford, Conn, July 14.-Norman
Selby (Kid Mccoy who was the hero
of 1875 battles, declared today that he
intended to become doctor of ply
steal science" after having proved his
theories on himself He has framed the
following Health Commandments"
for his prospective patients. They fol-
low:
First-Thou shalt keep thy back
bone straight.
Second-Thou shalt use all thy
lungs all the time.
Third-Thou shalt drink half a gal
lon of water daily.
Fourth-Thou shalt take sufficient
nourishment.
Fifth-Thou shalt masticate thy
food properly.
Sixth-Thou shalt sleep eight hours
nightly.
Seventh-Thou shalt cleanse thy
body daily.
Eighth-Thou shalt walk three miles
daily.
Ninth-Thou shalt think pleasant
thoughts and Danish unpleasant ones.
Tenth-Thou shalt praise the Crea-
tor for the result these laws bring and
tell thy neighbor.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-07-14
STRIKERS TO FACE
SPANISH TROOPS
National News Association)

Madrin, July II. Government
troops were sent today to Saragossa
where strike rioting has been going
on for "a hours. The strikers fought
the police last night from the windows
of the Workmen's club and wounded
several. Twenty-seven were arrest
ed.