River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1911-07-13
ELECTRIC SPARKS

father, he'd rather stay at home.
Speaking of society, a six foot
New York man is to marry seven
foot girl.
Will some one give directions for
making the fly stand still while it is
being swatted?
Congressman Hobson should vol
unteer as a special detective to
watch Admiral Togo.
It's not SO hard to be reasonably
sick if you don't have to be nursed
! by any of your relatives.
Wisconsin has just had heavy
| frost. 1t was careless of Senator
LaFollette to let that happen.
Catching Chicago man who was
falling twenty stories is feat to
make baseball experts envious.
A review of the past month will
show that there has been no curtail-
ment in the June Bride industry
What's become of the old fashion
ed boy that always went around
with his sore toe tied up in a rag?
Was that raid on the Evanston
Sun Parlor inspired by some coal
man who wouldn' t tolerate a rival?
Perhaps they hope to put enough
detectives on the job to prove Lor-
inner is the only honest man in the
Senate.
President Taft did not elect Lor-
inner. He had enough to do trying
to manage senators whom others
had elected.
Troy got the altitude record.
The mercury went through the top
Of the thermometer there on Nor
day, July 8.
Now the coronation is over the
British parliamentary fight it is pre-
dicted will be resumed in fercer
form than ever.
Poker playing has been discover
ed in the Census Office. Which
probably accounts for the bluff in
the census figures.
Suggestion for French duelists
who are fighting over aeroplanes.
Let each go up in a rachine and
the one who comes down safely
wins.
Some of Mr.. Morgan's costly pic
lures may be fakes, but the decision
handed him by Secretary Fisher in
the Cunningham cases is the
genuine article.
While bemoaning his fate, it be-
ing SO hard to get out of prison,
Iceman Morse should remember
what hard time the government
had putting him in.
Senator Bristow (Rep.) of Kan
sas, says by heck that President
Taft does not represent the major
ity of his party. Maybe Mr.. Bris-
tow thinks he himself does.
"Havemyer's son says that his
father formed the first sugar trust
from philanthropic motives" On
the principal that philanthropy, like
charity, begins at home it seems.
1t has been discovered that toads
and frogs are the greatest fly eaters
in the world. And in addition to
their daily work the frogs do not
object 20 giving nightly concerts.
Immediately after the report that
this country has cut its champagne
bill in two, comes the news from
Pittsburgh that the club bars are
shut up at ] a. m. which explains it.
Attention is called to the fact
that Jack Johnson has been the
greatest man on earth for only one
year. But he has lived as much as
dozen ordinary men in that time.
Poet Laureate Alfred Austin has
written no coronation ode, but it is
safe to say the unofficial poets of
England are bombarding the editors
with deathless verse of their own
composition.
Mr.. Hines the Secretary of the
Lumber Trust said he never once
thought about the Lumber trade
when he was helping to buy SEN
atorial seat for Lorimer. These
lumber men are so self sacrificing.
A woman is reported to have sat
on her hance's lap and to have writ
ten on his shirt bosom, Il love
you" Writing on a mans shirt
bosom, with the laundries merged
for higher prices is very severe
test of love.
The Importance of plenty of shade
for the dairy herd can not be over
estimated. During dry, hot weather
the cows may be advantageously