davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24
The sfur,erer,s Creas onerss

When Theodore Roosevelt was President. he
was asked to pardon man who had been sent
to the penitentiary in Arizona. II explain
ed to MIR. Roosevelt that the convict should be
released because, although he had been shoot
ing at one woman. his bullet had gone so far
wide OF the mark that he had instantly Killed
another
I'm sorry for the fellow" said Roosevelt In
dispostng OF the case, but think he'd better
stay in prison There must be something radl-
cally wrong with who has as bad an
aim as that in Arizona THE Popular Maya
zinc.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

It's awful unlucky to think you know how to
speculate
You make more out of most anything
than out of rich relatives.
II a girl smiles toward you. look your
eh oulder for the other
Walking on icy payements is absolute security
to trying to escape family iars.
A man has ncurable idea that his wife
ought TO prefer TO sit around and him smoke
an old pipe to his taking her to the opera.-New
York Press.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24
s.opxf In. onfv O,..ss Scns ~.

Senator Dash, OF Tallapoosa prided himself
his rise from the bottom for Senator Dash
in his youth had worked with the colored men
In the elton fields. Boosting at a political meet
Ing about hts rise the. senator singled ont Uncle
Calhoun Webster among his audience and said
II see before me old Calhoun Webster. beside
whom. in the broiling Southern sun. / toiled day
after day. Now. ladies and gentlemen. / appeal
to Uncle Calhoun. Tell us all. uncle, was l.
or was not. good man In the cotton fields 7''
"Yo' wuz good man. senatah." the aged negro
replied, 'yo yuz good man 70 fack: but yo'
sutny didn't work much '--Argonaut
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

The Roanoke World is perplexed over what
Governor Woodrow Wilson means by Don't be
a parenthesis We interpret this a sugges-
ton not to be incidental, but a somebody. In
other words, live in Richmond.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

ing to hurt hardened criminal to be touched
up" says Governor Osborn. of Michigan. The
tough part OF it is. however. that many Of us
who are not hardened criminals. or at least have
not been convicted SUCH are frequently
touched up" by friends as a penalty for
their being short on the coin of the republic.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

Crime is disease, and with the chronic
criminal nothing will hold him but fear of
aid to discipline. II our mothers could paddle
us when we were children, don't think it La GO
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

got for this afternoon. Emelins7 Emeiine-
Why, my blue foulard, with the passementerie
waist. and my black beaver with the ostrich
plume. Voice the tslephons-Oh. don't
mean ciothes--I mean what you going 10
do? Emsline-Oh. neutrality-suspicious..
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

Lives OF famous men remind US
We may make our lives sublime
And departing, leave behind us
Gasoline on sands OF time.
-Harpers Baser
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

The Ruling voice.-John-I say old man.
how would you like to come up to the club
tomorrow and play golf? Henry-why-er-
1 can't say for certain till I-er-consult my
al she makes up your rnind.-Harper's Bazaar
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

II must say" complained the woman tour
ist that ] don't understand why people come
to this hotel-no scenery. amusements, no
good cuisine. no" "Pardong. madame" inter-
rupted the host. "but We have gr-ran' label
to stick luggage.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

That Elusive Line.-Mrs. Crabshaw--You
never put your arm around my waist as you
used to. Crabshaw--you see. my dear, you keep
moving your waist up and down so I wouldn' I
know where to find is.--Judge.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

You welded your art?" asked the In
terviewer.
Not at ALL" replied the opera singer. We're
tentatively engaged until / can what II can
do toward providing an income for me."-Wash-
ington Star.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24
The Huuorist.

Madam tto rough-looking callerl--Yes, los
q pet dog, but this isn't IT, My dog was brown
and this was white.
The Man--Ah. num- the poor little heas
turned white from arief.-Bo$ton Transcript.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24
Forever singing rs they shine.

Forever singing as they shine.
The hand that made us is divine
-Addison.
We're / tall to reach the pole
Or grasp the ocean with my span
| must be measured by my soul;
The minds the standard Of the man.
--ISaaC Watts
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

Does my playing the piano annoy you,
papa" asked the daughter.
oh, no, daughter. go right on, replied the
parent. 1T prevents me hearing lot of your
mothers conversation. '-Yonkers Statesman
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

"Hows your daughter coming along in bust
colege?''
Hers spelling little bad yet, but she's care
full read several letters she wrote on her
typewriter, and every 'i is dotted and every II
ts oEsed.--Toledo Blade.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

II was Just pure, unadulterated irony that.
while the Lynchburg Advance was heaping
praise upon the municipal gae plant In Danville.
the fates blew II up because the purifier became
pure fire However. there 10 a suffciency of
natural gas In Danville to supply the city
And while we are on the subject wish to
say that It would be a rafting good thing for
the newspapers OF Danvile IL the demon Of ex-
plosion made daily visitation to that city. The
newspapers In the city on the Dan looked better
than ever the day following the biow-up. The
Bee explains that the gas was off and the pub
fishers were handicapped. but the adversities
were 80 met that good rather than harm re-
suited.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24
Proverbs md Phrases

As good be out of the world out OF the
/ fashion.--Cibber
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-02-24

VIII Honeycomb calls these over offended la
dies the outrageously vlrtuous--Sir Richard
Steele.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11
SUCCESS TURNS MANY HEADS
Average Man Assumes an Importance
to Which He Actually 10 Not
Entitled.

1t is rather a remarkable Mlustra-
uon Of the weakness of our nature that
there should be 50 many persons
whose heads are completely turned by
attaining even the slightest degree OF
success. Instead of raalizing that the
achievement which won him fame is q
thing Of the past, and therefore buried
In oblivion, except to those nearest to
him, the average man imbibes . good.
ly portion OF self.satisfaction and
drinks to his own conceit. His one sue
cess looms very large upon his narrow
horizon, and the temporary adulation
Of tickle public magnifies It's proper
tions and appears to give him hn I'm.
portance not really his due. This self.
importance is apt to be reelected In all
his further efforts, II indeed II does
not forbid effort of any sort, and once
man becomes obsessed with an exAg.
gerated idea OF his attainments there
is small chance Of his ever duplicating
those attachments. II is Just here,
however, that so many persons make
the mistake OF their lives by believing
that having once established q record
live up to It. II they could only forget
their successes. or hide them away In
the dim places Of their own minds 70
he peeped at only for inspiration. their
Self.aggrandizement would give way TO
. correct valuation OF their ABILITY,
which would 80 far toward helping
them to new accomplishments. A
mans most serious thoughts should be
OF what is TO come, Of what he ,is TO do
in the future. not Of what ia passsd or
OF what he has already accomplished.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11
WAS A JOINT OF sTovEPIpE
The Editor Thought II Poem. and
Was etout to Eject His
Visitor.

He walked into the editors Office
az quietly as might q shadow. and
wnen that busy man looked up. start
led. he was in the act of laying upon
the desk circular roll of something
done up In brown paper. 1t was about
20 inches long and eight inches in d.
ameter, and upon this roll the editor
nVed his eyes. while the hair on the
back CT his neck began to rise like
tnat OF an enraged porker.
wish," said the visitor. smiling
upon him, that you'd look over"
Inc editor arose with speed. kick.
Ing over his chair With dramatic
motion he pointed at the door.
Gout!" he gulped hoarsely and
orokenly Then his lost voice came
oack to him on the wings of indiG.
nation and he hoped up and down,
pointing at the fat roll on his desk
what dye take me for?" he
screeched: take that thing away. DO
you s'pose | haven't anything 10 do
out wade through bunch of gun like
lS'inch gun? Take It away" The
visitor regarded him with some alarm.
Say. old man." he said. are you
slck? The editor waved his arms
Don't you old man mel" he howl
ed; get OUT"
Here, said the visitor, sternly, 81
came In here 10 pay my bill. and II
you don't want it"
Pay-bill?" said the editor, weak
~ sitting on the edge of the desk.
Yes. did," said the Indignant Wis
ltor; ! wish you'd look over your
book and see"
The editor seized him by the hand
with the other hand he po MED at the
fat roll on the desk.
Ihen, he gulped. 1T amt a
poem?" The visitor scowlrd
NO, II ain't a poem." he said: "It'a
joint OF stovepipe" - Galveston
News.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11
MADE THIS BRAKEMAN I'LL
Touching Devotion Exhibited by New.
iywed Causes 6rouchy Tralnman
.- to Lose His Temper.

Are you comfortable, darling?" the
man asked. bending over the lady on
the train. The brakeman passing
through the aisle, hurried along until
he reached the platform. where he
grated his teeth together like cof.
fee mill.
"G-r-r-r-r-r!" said the brakeman
What's the matter with you?" de.
m2nded the conductor. emerging from
the forward car with solid slam OF
the door. He straddled the swa, ing
crack between the two platforms and
stared at his assistant
"Sick?" he asked.
"G-r-r.r-r-r!" remarked the brake.
man. "Of course, I'm sick! There's
a new married couple back In there u
The conductor stared through the
glass of the door.
"Where?" he asked, interestedly.
The brakeman pushed him to one side
and pointed a gnarled finger.
I'm the Nth seat there" he said.
disgustedly: there's dough-faced
mutt there with n woman. She looks
like a canary bird Ugh"
The conductor pushed through the
door and Strolled down the aisle. cast.
Ing sharp glances from side to side.
As he nSared the nfth seat the man
was In the act OF poking pillows back
OF the lady. murmurIng gentle moth.
ings In her ear. The conductor re.
turned to where the brakeman was
leaning against the Vestibule.
That's right" he said they've just
been married.
"G.r.r.r-rumphH said the brakeman
In disgust.
We'll" said the conductor. you
might as we'll 90 to work. What you
going to do about Il? They got a
right to ride. amt they?"
mo, they a. !" snapped the brake
man. The! got no more right 10
ride on a train than mules got to
learn dominoes. Where do they get
on?" The conductor laughed
They go clear through" he said.
Cheer up. son. They won't always
be like that"
You just bet they wouldn't II
had anything to do with IT," growled
the brakeman. picking up his lantern
and slamming the door behind him
But He Should Keep on Trying.
A wellknowD editor who was iacile
in reflections was tested with un early
writing Of his own, sent under an un.
known name. After glancIng at the
title, which was new. he wrote to the
contributor stating that the article
was not up 10 standard, and adding
that ut would do the writer no harm
TO continue writing such articles. but
II was clear from his work he did not
possess tho @bllity necessary to &c.
cure accent; u"r"--hWhor Magazine
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11
THE FIRST WATCH AND CLOCK
Working Of Earliest Alarm Clock Cor.
sidered WonderfuI-Wh0n Sec.
ond Hand WaO introduced.

Since celebration are the order Of
the day who not observe the sixth
centenary OF the Introduction
OF clocks? 1t was. we arc told, In 1909
that the first clock known TO the
world was placed in the tower Of San
Eustorgia. In Milan.
he greatest astonishmOnt and ad-
niiation were manifested By crowds
10 gone to see the tm0pisce. In
u Il clock was installed In the pal
g ot the mobiles at PaduA- This was
"onder Of mechanism indeed, for
3'*'des indicating tho hours It showed
ne course Of the sun, the revolutions
of the planets. tho various phases OF
the moon. the months and the fetes
of the year.
The priod Of the evolution from tho
clock to the watch was II years, not
90 very long all things considered,
and the record Of the FIRST watch is
1880. A half century later an alarm
clock made 1t appearance. This, we
are told. was looked upon By the peo-
pie OF that age al an "un instrument
prodigeux"
The fortunate posSessor Of this
clock was Andrea Alciato. q council
lor OF Milan. The chroniclers have
placed on record that this clock
sounded bell at q stated hour, ind
at the same time little wax candle
was lighted automatically. How this
was done we are not told, but It must
not be overlooked that until about 20
years ago we had no means Of obtain
Ing light other than the underbox,
SO that the Milanese must have been
centuries ahead OF us In this respect
Not much progress was made with
the watch until 1740. when the second
hand was added.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11
THE SEVEN KINDS OF GIvERs

First. thosc who give spontansousiy
and generously. but only to them.
selVes--nutOT'vers they might 10
called
Second. those who give thoughtlsss
~. without any real or high motive
giVers OF the occasion. As II were
Third. those who give as q SOD 70
conscience and selfesteem; In q spS-
cies OF atonoment for the evil they 10
--penitentlal Eivers
Fourth. those who live a. q matter
OF display, to win public applause for
their Generosity--theatricAl sivsfs.
Firth, those who Give because
others give. because they are expected
to give. and are ashamed not to give,
and therefore give SrudGinsly-eon'
vcntioual Sivers
Sixth, those who give because they
feel they ought to give: who Etvs
through sense OF duty AAA act
through love--morh Givers.
Seventh, lose who give in the spirit
OF Jesus; who give because they love
their neighbor a. themselves, and
above all things desire to help them
spiritual glyers
To which do you belong Rev. y. l..
Meadows 10 pittsburE Christian Aave-
cate.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

A scald, burn, or severe cut
heals slowly if neglected The
family that keeps a bottle of BAL
LARD'r SNOW LINIMET on hand
is always prepared for such ac-
cidents Price Csc, SOC and $1.0O
per bottle. Sold by Elko Drug Co.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

if your child is pale and sickly,
picks at the nose, starts in the
sleep and grinds the teeth while
sleeping it is a sure sign of worms.
A remedy for these parasites will
be found in WHITES VERMI-
FUGE. 1t not only clears out the
worms but it restores health and
cheerfulness Price Csc per bottle
Sold by Elko Drug Co.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11
Heart and Brain.

Don't let us be afraid OF enthusiasm.
There Is oftcncr n lack Of heart than
brain. The world is not starving for
need OF education half as much as for
warm. earnest interest OF soul to soul.
We agree With the indian who, when
talked TO about having too much zeal,
saId; ~ think II Is better for The pot
TO boil over than not 10 boil at all"
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11
How He Llkes Fish.

Three-year-old Harold visited the
beach for the flrst time on Saturday,
and while thtrc saw the minnows In
the water. tho .ght II over. and wisely
remarked: II don't like fish in the
water. ! like them In bread crumbs" I"
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

Love comes Lsseen-we only see Il
Co. Austin Dobson.
The gentleman exists to help; he
has no other vocation.-T. T. Munger
We cannot teach truth to another,
we can only help him to find it.-Gal.
Flea.
No matter about yesterdays short.
comings; today Is yours.-Annie II
Ryder. 4
Health is the greatest gift; con.
tentednesB the best riches.-Dham
maraha
Truth Is structure reared on the
battlefield OF contending forces.--Dr
Winchell.
The mind ought sometimes to be
diverted, that 1t may return the bet
Ter TO NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
There are more opportunities than
thrre are young men to take advan.
tage of them.-James J. Hill
The man who can make up his mind
quickly make up other peoples
minds fer them.-G. Lorimer.
In the hour of adversely be not
without hope, for crystal rain falls
from the black clouds.-Nizami.
Truth, like cork, will he uppermost
at one time or another, though kept
down In the water.-Isaac Taylor.
Leisure for men of business. and
business for men of leisure, would
cure many complaints-Mrs. Thrale.
Keep the heart afar from sorrow,
and be not anxious about the trou.
bio which is not yet to come.-F1r.
Quasi
1t Is great service to create an
honest smile as we meet one another
In this heavy.laden world.-Rev T.
Young ..-
AS concerns the quality OF what ia
to be read. there is a single rule.
read much; but not many works.
Sir w. Hamilton.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11
Foodmakers' Trloks.


They adulterate barley meal with
oatmeal and oats with chaf. They
! put metallic silver In candles and glu
oose in jellies and preserves. For
eiEn cream" cheeses are made OF
American skinned milk. Artiflcialiy
colored alcohol-alcohol is a food
conveys It's wicked nourishment I'm
bottles labeled "choice Canadian whIs
ky" The household havoring extracts
arc tinted with coal tar dyes. EKR
custard powders appear dried with.
out eggs. Two.pound cans OF Tomatoes
weigh one and a half pounds. and
brands OF condensed milk are found
20 per cent short OF their labeled cor
tents. In Spring water" are microbes
OF disease. Nut shells and fruit pits
are fed into the pepper grinder
| Strychnine Is put In gin, lead chro
mate in coffee and atropine In castor
of. These things still go on, as the
pure food officials In Washington
testify. Underweighing misbrandinx
and adulteratlng are ancient customs
OF the foOdmakerS known OF yore hut
there Is an observable difference be-
tween the olden and the modern
methods of dealing with the OWLS. In
federal, state and municipal Offices is
lodged the definite evldehce upon spe
cific cases, and there is a record of
convictions. The old tricks are varied
with new "dodges" OF the law. But
the subterfuges are no longer perIna.
Hent shelters.-New York Times.
Re.maklng OF Our Bodies.
From the fact that every few years
we get perfectly new body through.
onl from the continual dying OF old
! body cells and new cells taking their
places, thus constantly giving our.
selves an entirely new living mnntle
| OF flesh, II not n now identity, that
which seems surest and most secure
to our faculties really waves and
! fiuctuates with freachcrous cha
md we ourselves slide away from our.
| selves and are none the uiger. While
! the spirit or inner man stays unchang.
cd In the midst OF all this hourly shift
| and change Ike lighthouse in a
whlrlIng change of sands and waters.
the mind alone Of all the man has the
| power Of being constant. STANCE we
CANNOT make sing thing, yet
we ourselves are III q form
Of reconstruction and d .ry gec.
ond and all the time
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11
But He Should Keep on Trying.
Took No Chances,

why did she jllt HIM"
Some one told her that he was
Tery versatile, and she thought from
that that h) was q poet7'
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

The gentleman exists to help; he
has no other vocation.-T. T. Munger
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

L. cooCfaiL1L aIlacS

SAN FRANCISCO I. .eooCfaiL1L allacS
Formcrl, liutcs Stanford aud 81. FcryI. 20 /,
Street, n".r Gcary nd Joining Hotel hnn:,. I. =.
lintel hinnx BUS or Market Street Cars, traI,r u
70 Powell. Ideal house and location Tor Ladies'
visiting the city alone.
RATES. s1.o5 PEE DLR -s:E UP
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

Love comes L.seen-we only see II
CO. Austin Dobson.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11
WITH THE SAGES

The noblest motive is the public
eoCd.-Virgil
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

To which do you belong REV. 2. L.
Meadows ip PittsburE Christian Adve-
cate.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

We cannot teach truth to another
we can only help him to find it.-Gal
tlea.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

Second. those who give thouEhtisss-
~ without any real or high motive
giVers OF the occasion. as II were
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

Fourth. those who I've ~ q matter
OF display, to win public applause for
their Ganerosity--theatricA givsfa.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

Truth. like cork, will he uppermost
al one time or another, though kept
down I'm the water.-Isaac Taylor.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

Leisure for men of business, and
business for men of leisure, would
cure many complaints.-Mrs. Thrale.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

Keep the heart afar from sorrow,
and be not anxious about the trou.
bio which is not yet to come.-F1r.
Quasi.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

AS concerns the quality of what ia
TO be read. there rs single rule;
read much; but not many works.
Sir W. Hamilton.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1911-02-11

II Is great service to create an
honest smile as we meet one another
In this heavy.laden world.-Rev r.
Young -
The Washington times., 1911-02-05
MR.. M'NICHOL AS, A CENSOR
OF MORALS.

1t is conceded that some of the
dramatic performances which have re-
Gently been on tour in the Keystone
State, while breathing more of mirth
than ''Pilgrim's Progress" are far less
beneficial to public morals. They have
been affected by the banal cult of the
box office, and while they draw like
a fy-blister, the warmth of the lines
and situations is not regarded as
wholesome.
Perhaps it was in perfect keeping
with the eternal fitness of things that
proposal to impose legislative restric-
tions upon them should have emanated
from the City of the Quakers, but the
good town gasped over its breakfast
food when it read in the morning prints
that this restrictive measure had been
introduced at Harrisburg by State
Senator James P. McNichol. 1t had
never been suspected that he entertain
ed these high and altruistic sentiments.
There were even those who maintained
that in State which had produced
Simon Cameron and "Boss" Quay he
had improved on all the models that
had gone before. He was supposed to
look upon public morals very much as
bear trader in the wheat pit might
look upon bumper crop of that cereal,
which could be secured in the greatest
abundance with the least outlay. The
$l3,OOO,OOO Capitol. building at Harris
burg was, moreover, supposed to be
about the last place in which he would
bring up this delicate subject.
And yet we see now how a great
man may be misjudged. Senator Nc
Nichol has probably been dragged out
to a performance of some of these
Shakespearean productions wherein
the mummers, with an Elizabethan
freedom, have been calling a spade a
blamed old shovel. In the modern
drammer, such as Bertha, the Sew
ing Machine Girl" the most obtuse
could not fail to see that vice is al
ways punished and virtue exalted in
a manner the most approved. The
cape overcoat and dark moustache in
variably go out into the night in
handouts and contrition.
Cynical persons will probably take
the view that in his recent crusade
upon those agencies which undermine