davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
Re'sun and Sir John Fisher.

Admiral Potter told a new one on
Sir John Fisher. When Sir John was
at the head of the British admiralty
he was most inaccessible. One day an
old boatswain appeared. He would
not take mo" for an answer. Finally
a secretary went into Sir Johns Of
fee, leaving the door ajar. He told
the admiral that a sailor demanded
an interview.
Tell him to go to hell" roared Sir
John.
AYE, aye, sir" piped the boatswain.
who stood in the doorway at a re-
spectful salute; II know II meet you
there, sir, but l want to talk to you
now, too"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
ABOUT THE SUBURB
In Theory They Should Be Well Gov
erned, But Frequently They
Have Their Troubles.

In theory, small cities and big vii
lagos which are composed largely Of
the residences Of men who do business
and earn their living in a great urban
center which carries along n sus-
tatns these suburbs, ought to be models
of good government. They should be
very efficiently guarded, supplied with
whatever necessaries local officials are
expected to provide, and kept clean,
we'll paved, we'll regulated and con-
tented.
Such communities are not too big for
wide-awake citizens to watch their
public business closely. They are free
from many difficulties which great
cities must face, in the nature Of their
industries and commercial interests
and the mixed character Of their popu-
lation. In theory, the suburbs have
all the better of such comparisons with
their big neighbors.
The practical tests of experience do
not work out that way. Suburbs are
often full Of troubles. They have more
thar their share of wrangling and bit
terness and discomfort, IN politics and
government. Often the local admins
tration in such municipalities is costly,
extravagant and inefficient.
Many great cities have seen their
growth promoted and their legal lin.
Its enlarged, time and again, by the de-
sire of suburbs to have better local
government than they seem able to get
for themselves. They join great cities
to improve extremely unsatisfactory
conditions.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
FERTILIZER AGENT'
Funds to Fight tuberculosis.

III " FISuI OOCISuIOSISs
Based on reports from all parts Of
the United States the National Asso-
citation for the Study and Prevention
Of tuberculosis has issued a statement
which shows that in 1910 nearly $751;
600, 900 was spent in the fight against
tuberculosis, as opposed to IS, 200, 600
spent in 1909. The largest item of ex-
pense in 1910 was for treatment in
sanatOria and hospitals, $11,376, 500 be-
Ing expended for that purpose, or
more han double the amount for 1909.
The anti-tuberculosis associations
spent $760,500, and the tuberculosis
d~ispensar1es 1886, 900. The special mu-
nicipal and state expenditures aggre-
gated$1, $50, 900.
The statement declares that the
most significant fact in the survey OF
b years work is the increase in the
percentage of public money spent.
While in 1909 53.5 per cent. Of the
total expenditure was from federal,
state. municipal or county funds, 62.6
tons in 1910. The actual amoun Of
public none spent in tuberculosis
work this past year was $9,267,9 900, or
more than double the amount from
this same source in 1909. This fact
indicates, the national association de-
clares, that anti-tuberculosis associa-
lions are gaining ground, by securing
increased appropriations from public
money.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
| HOME TOWN
HELPS u
VALUE OF CITY BEAUTIFUL
Aside From Aesthetic, Commercial
Benefits Are of the Greatest
importance.

In the recent city planting congress
IN London reasons enough were given
for the identifying of towns. One,
however, and an important one, was
not, we believe, mentioned. This Is
the commercial benefit which accrues
to a city which has become famous for
the beauty Of it's buildings, the vtstas
unfolded by it's streets, it's public parks
and gardens. For ges Paris has been
known AS the playground Of the civil
lied world. Not only have countless
thousands visited it for it's ancient
palaces, it's stOrehouses of art treas
ures, and its historic associations, but
because Of the more modern beauties
OF its architecture, it's ~boulevards and
it's parks and pleasure grounds. But
many Of the ancient buildings which
delighted the eye of the artist have had
to give way to the march Of progress
and the needs Of today. So Paris is
trying to beautify It's modern features
that some of it's landmarks Of b past
will not be missed.
So strongly do the Parisians believe
in city Identification as an investment
that the municipality has been author
lZCO W DOEIO" 34IO,OOO1OOO 1OA ILLS
purpose. A part Of this, SAT, 1000, 900,
has Just been raised by an Issue of
bonds, which, in spite Of labor difficult
ties and other obstacles, was oversub-
scribed twenty times. At least two
leading th~oroughfares are to be greatly
extended, new parks established and
new government buildings erected.
In America the chief opposition to
improvements of this sort are likely to
come from the classes which would
most be benefited by them. ChicagO's
chief claim on visitors is it's system OF
parks and boulevards. There is no
telling how many of our guests are at
tracted by these splendid driveways
and pleasure grounds. The Chicago
plan, which commercially may be
looked upon as an expensive dream Of
Missionaries, would, if carried out, be
the city's chief asset. Not only would
It conduce to unreasonable benefit and
delight to those who live here, but it
would attract millions Of people from
elsewhere, and these indirectly would
help pay for its cost and maintenance.
Chicago Tribune.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
NEVER GOT TO KNOW HIM
Seemingly, This Husband Was Some
what of a Hard Man to Get
Acquainted With.

Il met a queer old woman charac-
ter on the train between here and
Buffalo one morning." remarked Po-
lice Judge McGannon when talk had
drifted around to queer people one
meets. "She was travelling with her
grown son., whom l had met in the
smoking compartment, and later on
| got talking with the old lady. She
spoke Of several people she knew
here in Cleveland.
Did you ever happen to know
James H. Soandso?" l asked her
casually, judging from something she
had said that she did know him.
She gave me a strange sort Of a
look. Well she replied, 1 don't
know whether to say l know that
man or not. He's a queer sort, you
understandable kind of a man that
nobody really knows. Why, I was
married to James Soandso, and lived
with him for foul years, but l never
felt that l was really acquainted with
him.
And the funny part of it," added
McGannon, was the woman was in
deadly earnest about it. She didn't
make the remark by way of s~pringing
any comedy at all."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Dealer.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

land Ave-, Chicago, Ill, says: my
eyes were pulled from dropsy n my
face and feet terribly swollen. l was
laid up for three months and although
I doctored, 1 received little benefit.
Doan's Kidney Pills relieved the aw-
full back pains, stopped the swelling
and made me feel 100 per cent. bet
ter"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. so cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. 7.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
A Little Mixed.

Admiral Evans, at a luncheon in
San Francisco, said of a naval policy
he disliked:
ut is mixed and illogical. It re-
minds me of Bob Backstay, who be-
came engineer on a submarine.
Bob said a friend, don't you find
it dangerous work, this knocking
about in a submarine deep beneath
the sea-
"'Yes. very dangerous Backstay
admitted, but a mans got to do some
thing, you know. to keep his head
above water"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

HN0
lished a testimonial or used a letter
without the written consent of the
writer, and eve has the Company
allowed these confidential letters to
get out Of their possession, as the
hundreds of thousands Of them in
their files will attest.
Out of the vast volume of experience
which Mrs. Pinkham has to draw
from, it is more than possible that she
has gained the very knowledge needed
in your case. She asks nothing in re-
turn except your good will, and her
advice has helped thousands. Surely
any woman, rich or poor, should be
glad to take advantage of this gener-
Jus offer Of assistance. Address Mrs.
Pinkham, care Of Lydia E. Pinkham
Medicine Co., Lynn, Mass.
Every woman ought to have
Lydia E. Pinkham's SO-page
Text Book. 1t is not a. book for
general distribution, as it is too
expensive. 1t is free and only
Obtainable by mail. Write for
it today.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
The Difficulty.

Life amt nothin' but d~isappoint-
ment," groaned the Chronic Grumbler.
Cheer up" urged the Gu >rful
Idiot. Didn't yer git $50 for putin
yer picture in the paper as havin' bin
cured O. all yer Ills by Bunk's pills?"
Eyes, 1 did. An now all my rela-
tits are askin' me why 1 don't go to
work, now th't I'm cured"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
DON'T TAKE HARSH PURGES
They Are Very Harmful, Bonds Pills
Are Gentle, and They Cure!

Bonds Pills are in no way similar to
the cheaply made, irritating purgatives
that are scattered broadcast over the coun-
try with all sorts of guarantees" by I'M
known and unknowable makers.
Bonds Pills are gentle and reliable liver
stimulants. One small pill at bedtime is
the proper dose. They are tonic to the
bowels and leave them in a healthy and
a free sample write Bonds Pharmacy Co.,
Little Rock. Ark.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

"uSL keep your
kidneys we'll.
There is no bet
ter kidney rem
edy than Doan's
Kidney Pill s.
They cure sick
kid n e s and
cure them per
manently.
Edward Por-
sche, 1888 Cleve-
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

man can freely talk
of lei private ILL
ness to q woman;
thus has been es
tablished this con-
fdence between
Mrs. Pinkham and
the e Of
America which has
neyer been broken.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

The next time you feel that swallowing
sensation, the sure sign of sore throat,
gargle Hamlins Wizard Oil Immediately
with three parts water. 1t will save you
days and perhaps weeks of misery.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

And 1t sometimes happens that a
man likes to have his wife get so mad
she won't speak to him-then she will
not ask him for money.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
Hardened.

Scott-Is it true that Cooleigh is
financially embarrassed?
Notifies fearfully in debt, but it
doesn't seem to embarrass him much.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

Dr.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets first put Ut
20 years ago. They regulate and invigor
ate, stomach, liver and bowels. Sugar
coated tiny granules.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

There's one little satisfaction when
a mar falls sick, 1t makes his wife re-
pent of her i'll treatment Of him. Don't
work the game too often, however.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
FREE
ADVICE
TO WOMEN

Women suffering from any form Of
Illness are invited to promptly COM
municate with Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn.
Mass. All letters are received, opened,
read and answered By ID A Mo-
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
She Raved.

Mr.. Burble-That elocutionist is
some queen, isn't she?
Mr.. Bored-A raving beauty.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
TO DRIVE OFT MALARIA

TO DRIVE OUT MALARIA
AND BUILD UP THE SYSTEM
CHILL TONIC. You know what you are takiHg.
showing it is simply Quinine and Iron in q taste
less form The Suinine drives out the malaria
dealers for 30 years Price so cents.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

Nothing amuses the average man
more than to AVE some woman be-
lieve she is bossing him.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

Companions in Misery.
Ella-For all sad words of tongue
or pen
stella-Forget it: I'm an old maid
myself.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

PILES CCRED IN 6 TO IL DAYS
Your druggist will refund money If PAZO ONT
MENT fails to cure any case OF Itching, Blind
Bleeding or PrOtrudingP Piles in 6 10 Ii days. Soc
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13
LOOK TO YOUR KIDNEYS.
When Suffering From Backache,
Headaches and Urinary
Troubles.

They are probably the true source
Of your misery. To keep well, you
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

If 1 were an inventor 1 would ex-
pend all my energies in trying to pat
ent a collar button hat would come
when 1t was called.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

itch Cured I'm 80 Minutes by WoOlfOrd'
SanitaryLotion. Never fails. At druggists
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

Mrs. WinsAow's Soothing Syrup.
For children ~teething, SOftens the gums, reduces II
6anmatiOn. a1lays pelu, cures wind collie. Soa bOTtlA
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

Don't make the mistake of claiming
you never make one.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

Avoid pushing to the front by gcin.
back on your friends.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1911-01-13

PRINTED STRAIGHT ACROSS, NEAR THE BOTTOM. AND IN
THE CIRCLE, NEAR THE TOP OF EVERY PACKAGE. OF THE
GENUINE. ONE SIZE ONLY, FOR SALE BY ALL LEADING
DRUGGISTS. REGULAR PRICE SOC PER BOTTLE
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1911-08-10
rs. ,nnohIa George ~.

Then there was the precious regent
What a creature! Good men and bad
men unite in saying that he was abso-
lutely without a virtue. The shrewo'
calculating Greville described him In
words that burn; the great duke. his
chief subject, uses language OF dry
scorn. The king could only act the
part of gentleman for ten minutes
at a time," and we find the common
est satellites of the court despised the
wicked fribble who wore the crown or
England. Faithless to women. latin
less to men, coward, liar, a mean
and groveling cheat, George Nv. never
theless chung to belief In his own
virtues, and If we study the account
of his farcical progress through Scot
land we find that he imagined himself
to be a useful and genuinely kingly
parsonage. No man. except perhaps
Philippe Egalite. was ever so con-
temned and hated. and until his death
he imagined himself TO be good man.
-Runciman "Sidelights."
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1911-08-10
Bristol Democrat

Theo. Nelson autoed to Webster
Wednesday.
Geo. Chapman, of Webster, spent
Sunday here.
Chris Seefield, of Huron, was here
Monday morning.
Harry Hart, of Webster, was in town
Wednesday.
Walter Magnus, of Webster, was
here on Tuesday night.
S. S. Yaeger, of Webster, was trans
acting business here Friday.
Theresa Renkes, of Webster, is visit
ing for several days at the Blakely
home.
Margaret and Olive Hit drove up
from Webster and spent Saturday
afternoon with their sister.
Tom Candy, Ward Pierce and Earl
Goodwin called on us Wednesday.
They were on their way to Andover
where Tom expects to doctor sick
automobile.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1911-08-10
The Trouble With the Meat.

Stepping into small restaurant, q
grouchy old man demanded Of the
waiter certain piece Of meat he had
in the show window.
But" said the waiter. "we''-
"No buts," replied the old man. "You
bring me what ask for or | won't get
anything here at ALL"
Rather than lose customer, the
waiter did as he was told and, getting
the piece of meat, took 1t back to be
cooked. After long wait the meat
was brought 70 the customer, who, in
stead of thanking the waiter, said,
Look here. young man. what is the
matter with this meat?'
Nothing Is the matter with 1t, sir,
except that the paint on 1t has formed
a few blisters from the heat"
why, what do you mean by thatY''
asked the old man.
simply this" replied the waiter.
Those pieces of meat you saw in the
window were not made to eat. They
were made for advertising purposes,
but you insisted. sir. upon having one
of 'em."-Philadelphia Times.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1911-08-10
Maternal Instinct.

Children that yell like that ought
either to be gagged or kept at home"
remarked the irascible gentleman with
the white beard to the bus conductor.
And faces like the one wot you're
scarin' people WITH" Clipped in the
mother Of the noisy infant, 'oughter
be made into door knockers or sent ter
the chamber o. errors"
The gentleman with the patriarchaI
face fungus took brick red complex
Ion. Il know It's awkward at times
be commenced.
It's more'n awkward; it's nothin'
short o. 'orrible." snapped the lady, as
she once more glanced at the sorry
elderly mans set Of features.
When the rest OF the passengers tit
tered audibly the old gentleman came
to the conclusion that 1t behooved him
to speak to the point.
II mean the child he tried once
more.
"And you didn't mean It no good,
returned the lady. "else you wouldn't
. looked at Il. "-London Ideas.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1911-08-10

been very carefully considered by the
trustees. They feel that in several
states of the Union these valuable
scholarships have failed to attract
attention among students that they
deserve and that more satisfactory
results would probably be obtained.
and stronger representation of the
United States AT Oxford be secured by
some change in the system OF selection
or Distribution which would throw the
scholarship more fully open to eoal-
petition among the students OF the
whole Union. In the qualifying
examination held in October. 1909.
there We're three candidates. none Of
which passed successfully. 1t was
explained 10 DIR. Parkin that the scholar
ship had not appealed TO the young
men of South Dakota principally
because of the many opportunities
afforded by our state for independent
careers for our young men. 1t is pos
sible also that the availability of the
scholarship and the value have not
been fully understood.
Dr. Parkin in announcing that there
win be no change in the system of
selection says. "The trustees have,
therefore decided that for a time at
least the present system shall be
adhered to and they have come to this
conclusion in the hopes that in the
communities which have given the
least satisfactory results vigorous
efforts will be made to arouse interest
in the scholarship, and to create such
healthy competition as might fairly
be expected when the prize is so con-
siderable.
The next examination for the selec-
ton of scholar to enter Oxford in
1913 will be held during October of
1912. This information is given at this
early date so that young men may
qualify themselves for the state exami-
nation. Full information with refer
ence to the requirements for admis-
sion to Oxford and the character of
the examination and special instruct
ions to scholar-elect will be sent upon
application to President Gault of the
state university. Vermillion Repub-
lican.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1911-08-10

H. Gunderson was business visitor
from Webster Tuesday.
Rev. FIR. Mensing was here from
Webster Friday morning.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Wendt, of Web
ster, spent Sunday at the Frank Gruba
home.
Mrs. S. c. Crosby went to Webster
Tuesday evening for few days visit
with friends.
Mrs. Ed Pair and children visited in
Webster the first of the week, return
ing Tuesday morning.
Miss Mabel Williams came over from
Webster Wednesday morning to visit at
the F. G. Palmer home.
Anton Block, of Granville, brought
in load of new barley Saturday from
a field that yielded fifteen bushels to
the acre.
The diggers in the new town well
struck blue clay at a depth Of about
twenty-five feet Wednesday, which was
not shown in the test wen, and which
Is anything but desirable. 1t may be
that another well win have to be sunk.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1911-08-10
Pierpont Signal

There is little wolf and a great dea
of rabbit in every man. Yes, and this
year is an open season for chickens.
o. L. Bistodeau's two silos and O..
Illusions new ones are up in the air.
Miss Jessie Hastings returned last
week from visit with Webster friends.
H. G. Raffelson went to Webster
Tuesday to attend the regular meeting
of the county board.
The men who do town more harm
than good may be classed as follows:
First. those who oppose improvement.
Second, those who run it down to
strangers. Third, those who never
advertise their business.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1911-08-10
H.F. DENTON, Editor.
THURSDAY. AUGUST 10. 1911.
In South Dakota

It's ben quite dry fer rollin' tears
Up here in South Dakoty,
But you jes 60 anisee the steers
Out on the bluffs an hush yer fears
Bout us waitin' for the biers,
Up here in South Dakoty.
You take an go an view the corn
Up here in South Dakota,
An ies as sure as you war born
You won't come tootin' thet oil horn
About the settlers all ferlorn,
Up here in South Dakoty.
An while yer lookin' yen an there
Up here in South Dakoty,
You'll say, They've got wheat, too, i
swear,
Fer millin' and bit to spare
An oats as nice as anywhere,
Up here in South Dakoty."
Author Unknown.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1911-08-10

A wife b . decided addition to the
demands upon ones purse. In that
sense. however sensible ana managing
she may be. she b expensive. But
everything worth having has its price
Of one sort or another. and there are
some things which cost much without
which life Is hardly worth living.
Bald Theirs: 'tMost men contemplate
making some self denial when they
marry. They think they will give up
nuch and such expensive pleasures.
Eater On. when they discover that they
cannot do 70, and at the same time
they lack the means to indulge, they
complain that II h the extravagancs
q their wives which causes the incon-
Which Wise saying d applicable to
men 81 other countries besides that OF
vTance.-Nsw York American.