davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

A Boston court has been called on
to decide whether baseball playing is
labor. 1t seems to be when the Detroit
team is playing on the other side.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

A Chicago woman has had a lawyer
arrested, alleging that he called her an
"old cat" Call a woman a cat, If you
must, but never call her an old cat.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

Edison says that the end of the troll
ley a is in sight. But the boldest In
ventor has not yet tackled the prob
lem Of the strap-hangerless cal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

Foo is a great game, and might be
ever more thrilling and spectacular If
the players would ride motorcycles in
stead OF horses.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

An umpire never reverses a deci-
sion. although asked to do so every
day.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

Several hundred marriages in Chica-
go have been declared void, thereby
saving a good many people the ex-
pense of a trip to Reno.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

A Sacramento minister defended Sun
day baseball, and they say he struck
right out.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

You'll not notice the heat If you
don't talk about It," says Doctor
Wiley. The trouble is that other PEG.
pie insist on talking about it.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

Warmer winters are promised. 1t is
consoling to know that they cannot
be warmer than the summers.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

A new counterfeit $40 bill is in cir
culation. Watch for it when the con-
ductor hands you your change.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

Worse than not being able to swim
these days is not being able to go
swimming.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

A good many Of u h~ouseholders
labor under the impression that ice is
measured by the carat, like diamonds.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

Chicago has twice as many tele-
phones as London. But then 1t has
twice as much to say.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

In addition to the wireless telegraph
Chicago will now have permanently
noiseless peddlers.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

A Pittsburg scientist says there Is a
microbe in every kiss. Pittsburg ought
to know that by this time.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

No first class summer resort, as you
may have observed, aver has any
flies or mosquitoes for publication.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

Visit any store where they sell
straw hats and view the impressive
ceremony of putting the lid on.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

When a nan boasts about his old age
1t is generally found that he has moth
ing else to boast about.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

INNER girl was never more
ding than she is this season.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

I That wind blown summer resort ad,
vertising begins to look very catchy.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

A college education is getting to be
mighty expensive-for alumni.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

When you discover two souls with
but a single thought the thought con-
Germs the coolest place within reach.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

Redman Wanamaker is insured for
$4,000, 900, but it is not stated wheth-
er he is an aviator or a canoeist.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-08-03

stil this is just the weather you
were wishing for last February.
The Washington times., 1911-02-05
The Building Of the Greater Store Has Begun
East Wall to Be Torn Down

The great wall separating the Palais Royal building
from the adjoining Scottish Rite Cathedral Building is to
come down at Think of it-5O0,000 bricks will
have to be removed The woren will attack the wall
the Fourth Floor tomorrow. The Furniture Depart
ment Chief has orders to make for them. Learn
what this means-read the adjoining paragraph.
The Washington times., 1911-02-05
Tomorrow's Fourth Floor Bargains Told Of

To the music of hundreds of hammers-the work
will be erecting temporary wooden wall the east
side tomorrow furniture and draperies will be selling
at auction. The auctioneer and his hammer will
not be there but prices will be little and less in many
instances .at auction. Greater satisfaction-every
isfactOE
The Washington times., 1911-02-05
Please Enter by the G Street Door

Many are asking the of the great hole in the
ground the outside of the building on Eleventh street
The Houseurnshings Department is to be enlarged the
length and width of the sidewalk. One thousand two
horse wagon loads of earth being removed in order to
make for this enlarged downstairs department.
Trnks-now the west side Of this Basement-have to
go. Look for bargains.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
Retort Practical.

A too convivially inclined young
clubman was introduced at q recep-
ton last week to q clever society
woman whom he understood, in some
hazy fashion. to be a great artist. She
was not an artist. nor had she ever
made any attempt to be. But the
young man. whose wits were apt to go
wool gathering at times, thought she
was. And he was very anxious to
make sufficiently pretty speech to
her.
He murmured the usual convention.
alities when he was presented, and
You paint, don't you? So many peo-
pie have told me about It," he said
ingratiatingly.
The young woman stared at him,
looked him severely in the eyes. let
her glance fall on every feature Of
MS perplexed face, glared her indig-
nation. and then she spoke:
III l do" she remarked, icily. "at
least l don't make mistake and put
1t on my nose. "-Philadelphia Times.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
Personal.

adjournment of congress appears to
be far Off
Rumors were spread of an attempt
to assassinate Madero.
In a Memorial day address Colonel
Roosevelt said the laws are outworn
and should be changed.
Madero is to be well guarded on his
entry to Mexico City.
Six people were drowned in Utah
lake, near Salt Lake City.
President Taft will spend the sum-
mer months at Beverly, Mass.
Noisy and enthusiastic receptions
were given the Madero party.
Governor Hughes cannot be re-
garded as a presidential probability.
The speech of President Taft at
Chicago is expected to strengthen the
cause of reciprocity.
Chairman Gary, of the steel corpora
ton. made public his address in oppo-
sitiop to price cutting.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
General.


Senate republicans claim the demo
cratic family Is about as badly d.
vided as itself.
President Taft rebuked an army
colonel for his admitted prejudice
against the Jewish race.
Senator Smoot accused the house of
trying to saddle printing bills on the
senate committee.
The senate committee having the
reciprocity bill declared in favor of
the Root amendment.
A resolution was offered in the SEN
ate to permit the opening of the Lori
mer election investigation.
Attorney General Wickersham said
criminal prosecution of trust mag
mates will be undertaken.
Testimony was introduced at Des
Moines duplicating James O'Calla-
CHAN in the treasury robbery.
By direction of the president, pri-
vate papers of the state department
were refused house committee.
A storm drove George H. Hutton
a clerk. to commit suicide in Addison
vile, a suburb of Cincinnati.
Several hundred well armed Yaqui
Indians have modified in the Yaqui
river delta country and are demand
ing the restoration of their lands, &C.
cording to the statement of passengers
on the train which arrived lately from
Mexico.
Sixty-three persons were killed as
the result of an earthquake in Mex
dco City.
The bill for county option in Wis
consin was indefinitely postponed by
the assembly. This action practically
disposes of this question at this leg
islature as the senate voted against
the measure some weeks ago.
Fifteen persons were more or less
seriously injured when the Lebanon
accommodation train on the Tennes-
see Central railroad crashed into a
switch engine on the outskirts OF
Nashville.
The American chamber of com.
merce in Paris, which transmitted the
resolutions adopted by the New York
chamber of commerce and the Paris
chamber Of commerce favoring unre.
stricted arbitration between the Unit.
ed States and France to the As cham.
bers of commerce in this country, has
already received six enthusiastic re.
plies.
Sir Henry Seymour King, who, in
the last general election was return.
ed to the conservative seat in com.
mons for the central district of Hull
was unseated. The judges found Sill
Henry guilty of lavishly treating his
constituents.
James and Matthew White, father
and son, were slain at their home at
Sac City. la. Clifford Wilson, also OF
that city. is in Jail, charged with the
crime, while a posse under the direc
ton Of the sheriff, is searching for an
unidentified man. alleged to have beer
with Wilson at the time of the
tragedy.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
NEWS BRIEFLY TOLD
INTELLIGENCE HERE GATHERED
COVERS WIDE AREA
GREATER OR LESSER IMPORT
includes What 10 Going On At Wash
lnnton and In Other Sections 81
che Country.
WASHINGTON.

WaSntn0tons
William Jennings Bryan, during a
brief stay in Washington held con-
ference with Representative Burton
Harrison, of New York, Representa-
tive Hammill, of New Jersey, and
about 20 other politicians. The par
Elephants in the conference would not
discuss its purpose.
President Taft promised Represent
alive Hardwick, of Georgia, chairman
of the special house committee inves-
tigating the sugar trust, that all In
formation regarding the trust now In
the possession of the executive de-
partment would be put at the disposal
of the department. Senator Hard
wick said the investigation would be-
gin in earnest next week.
President Taft will stick to Beverly
as hot weather play ground unless
congress selects site and appropri-
ates the money for an official sum-
mer white house elsewhere. In let
ter to Governor Eberhart, Of Mime
sofa, declining with thanks the offer
OF a site for a presidential summer
home at Wayzata, on Lake Minneton-
ka, the president explained that con-
gress alone had the authority to des-
ignate an official summer white house.
Many border cities which extend
their commerce to Canada and Mexi.
CO telegraphed protests to the GUS
toms authorities against the decision
of the customs court which prohibits
the free entry of domestic animals
which have been taken across the
Mne Under the courts Interpretation
Of the law a delivery horse once TAX
en- across the border is dutiable when
1t comes back.
Senator Cummins of Iowa, one of
the organizers of the national repub-
lican progressive league, receptive
candidate for the presidential nomi-
nation and supposed enemy of the ad-
ministration of President Taft, an
nounced that he would favor Presi-
dent Taft delegates to the republican
national convention and that he could
not see his way clear to support Sen
ator La Toilette for the presidency.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
Honey Sixty Years Old.

One thousand pounds of honey. some
OF 1t more than sixty years old. is tho
remarkable exhibit now being viewed
oy hundreds Of people at East Lee. q
village OF Massachusetts. The entire
quantity was obtained by workmen
while tearing down a tavern built one
hundred and fifty years ago. They
discovered in the garrett more than
hlty swarms Of bees and their half
ton accumulation of honey. For more
than century the tavern has been
In the hands of single family. No
person now living can remember ever
having entered the garrett.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
Fire In Baseball Park.

Springfield, Illinois. - A fire de-
stroyed the grandstand and box Office
of the Three-I league baseball park
in this city. 1t is believed the fire
was of incendiary origin. The loss is
estimated at $500.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
Former Minister to France m.

Highland Falls, New York. - Rev.
John Bigelow, author and former min
lister to France, is seriously ill at his
home here. DR.. Howell of New York
intimated that the aged patient mighi
1ot recover.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
Cholera Feared In Berlin.

Berlin, Ger. - A woman was taken
to a hospital here suffering from sus-
pected cholera. An examination by
psychologists is now being made.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16

Sutherland. Utah Townsend. Mich
Warren. Wyo. rs.
Against (Democr.t.).
Bailey. Tex. Thornton, Las.
Foster, La. Total against. IS
Doubtful (Republicans).
Kenyon. Ia.
Lorimer, ILL., probably for) 2.
Doubtful (DemOcrats).
Clarke, Ark. probably against)
Davis. Ark. probably against) g.
Total doubtful. 4.
In view of the overwhelming major
ity for the agreement, the impression
prevails that it will prove impossible
to amend the bill. If this be the case,
there are several senators now opposed
to the measure, who may find it expe-
dent to vote for it.
Publishers For Reciprocity.
In the final hearings on the recipro-
city bill, both Herman Ridder, until
recently president of the American
Newspaper Publishers Association,
and Melville E. Stone, general manag-
er of the Associated Press, testified in
answer to queries from various senat-
ors that in their opinion no effort had
been made by the newspapers of the
country to present only one side Of the
reciprocity argument, to color their re-
ports on the question or to suppress
any facts which were of news value.
Bruce Haldeman, president of the pub
fishers association, and Frank B.
Noyes. president of the Associated
Press, also appeared.
The chief interest which the news
poporc IF tho oountrv hovo in tho m Of.
ter, Mr.. Ridder told the committee is
their desire to free themselves from
the paper manufacturers trust which
now. he added, has the publishers at
it's mercy The readers of the country
would benefit by cheaper paper. as well
as the publishers, he declared. because
the money saved on paper could be
used to furnish a larger and better
news service.
Lorimer Subcommittee Named.
Senators Dillingham;. Gamble, Jones,
and Kenyon, Republicans, and Fletcher,
Johnston, Kern, and Lea, Democrats,
will constitute the subcommittee that
will conduct the new investigation into
the bribery charges against Senator
Lorimer. OF the eight members,
Messrs. Dillingham; and Gamble, Re-
publicans, and Fletcher and Johnston,
Democrats. voted for Lorimer in the
previous investigation. Mr.. Jones, Re-
publican. voted against him. Messrs.
Kenyon, Republican, and Kern and
Lea, Democrats, were not then mem
bers of the senate. They are known,
however, to be opposed to Mr. Lorimer.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
1T

I
Sunday World.
II your welded lot IL
more full of thorns than roses, then
you may provide q little company for
your misery.
II you are contemplating matri-
mony, they may tend to have the sal
utary effect Of Punch's advice to those
who are planning marriage-Don't!
At any rate, they show what an
ironic little god Cupid is sometimes.
and how he wears a cap and bells as
often as the bow and arrows.
Moved to Avoid Rent.
G HORTLY after James e. Jarrett Of
- Fort Wayne married Jennie New
man he told her one evening after din
ner that he had solved the whole ques-
ton Of the advanced price Of living,
and when she leaned breathlessly for
ward he impaired the somewhat worn
aphorism that It Is cheaper to move
than to pay rent.
Mrs. Jarrett laughed and took 1t as
q joke. because the next day was the
one fixed for the visit Of the landlord.
However, she found that Mr.. Jarrett
was In earnest, because within the
next week or 80 she had her first ex-
perience with an angry rent gatherer.
papers of eviction and a visit from
the sheriff.
After that Mr.. Jarrett put his theory
into continuous practice. and in the
next seven years the Jarretts Grated
their household goods no less than 80
times: 16 moves being only two
jumps ahead Of the officers Of the
law. Finally Mrs. Jarrett found that
her love had been broken all to
pieces with so much moving, as she
had not always had time to crate 1t
properly. When she sued for d.
vorce she declared that her husband
had failed to provide home for her,
and Mr.. Jarrett answered that he had,
but the Judge sided with the plaintiff.
Had to Nurse the Chickens.
WHEN the wife of Herman Roemer
w Of Denver left him he had his
share of troubles. He had to turn
in and do the cooking. and the wash
ing. and, to complete the disaster,
some pet chickens got sick. and there
Herman was left all alone with them
on his hands. He inserted personal
after personal in the columns OF the
daily paper beseeching Pauline to
come back to her desolate home, but
not even the thought of the suffer-
ing fowls moved her tickle heart. FL
nally, we are glad to relate. Herman
nursed them back to health. and then
he sued for divorce.
Sewed Runaway Husband In Sheet.
r RNEST STEWART of New York
Z got tired of too much domesticity
a few months ago and decided to re-
turn to the adventurous life of a rover.
So one night he failed to come home.
and his wife went through various
stages of anxiety. fear and grief until
she discovered that he had sailed
away over the sea as assistant stew
ard on an ocean liner On the day
the ship was expected In port on its
return voyage she sent her 13-year-old
son to the pier. So, when the recall
citrant Ernest came down the gang
plank the first person he saw was his
boy. But Charles brought no re-
proaches to his parent, but said:
Papa. mamma says that she isn't
angry or anything. but she has fixed
,ou I'D a nice dinner and wants you
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
No Doubt.

No Doubt.
nave Just been reading in q news
paper ABOUT an armless man who II
"nting book with his toes"
Amen! l presume 1t will consist
largely Of footnotas"
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16

10 come up 10 the mousse. Al uret
Stewart hung back, but as the boy
ran over the menu his decision weak
ened and he went home.
His wife, instead of greeting him
with tears, had on a nice white apron,
and set dinner At for kings before
him. He ate to repletion, so that
when he arose after it and said he
was about to return to his vessel, 1t
was easy for Mrs. Stewart to persuade
him to take little nap before so
doing.
AS soon as Stewart had begun to
snore the sleep of perfect digestion
Mrs. Stewart and Charlie bound him
fast to his couch with clothesline, and
then Mrs. Stewart sewed a sheet
about him. Then she sent Charles to
the police station. and when the po-
liceman came they took Stewart to
the station on his bed, and there his
bonds were cut.
She Wouldn't Say "obey.
r HE other dag divorce was
! granted In Pittsburg that ended
a marriage Of 80 years, during all of
which time the man and woman had
been separated on account Of a stub
born whim Of the bride. When Mary
Terrence and John Speer were mar
ried Mary corrected the minister and
declared that she was not willing to
include the word "obey" in the mar.
rage service. After the ceremony
the pair proceeded to their home, and
there the bridegroom began to reason
the matter out. Then Mrs. Speer
said she considered the word "obey"
foolish. as she had no intention of do
ing any such thing. The bridegroom
asserted his right to be considered the
head. of the house. and in short a fine.
lively quarrel started on the question
OF who should wear the trousers. FL
nally the newly made husband seized
his hat and said angrily that he would
never return to his home until his
wife signified her willingness to sub.
NIT. AS time went on the resolution
Of both hardened, and the marriage
halted where 1t began at the word
"obey" in the marriage service.
Husband Who Would Not Smile.
MRS. John Pohlman of Des Moines
AVA secured a divorce because she
had that which men usually declare
woman does not possess-a sense of hu.
NOR. Besides, she had a sensitive dis.
position. 80 that when she tried to re.
gale the family dinner table with
funny stories and witticisms. and her
husband met her efforts with only
cold stares. she was SO deeply wound
ed that she charged cruelty In her me-.
tition.
One time. she related. when the fam.
lily was having a fine time telling
jokes and commenting humorouslv
upon the news of the day, her hus.
band acted SO morosely that one n,
the children asked him If he was no,
feeling well. whereupon he responded.
Il hate to see set of FOOLS"
Comedy Of May and December.
WE HEN the friends of Minnie zo,-
w be of Detroit demonstrated with
her for marrying 70-year-old Christian
Zolbe. she tossed her head and ouotod
the proverb about an old mans d.r
ling and young mans slave b..
Minnie didn't turn out a darling INV
any means. for after four years of mo.
riage the old gentleman sued for
divorce on the ground of cruelty and
cited that when his athletic wife was
provoked at him she spanked him
with her slipper. Also, he declared
when she wished to reprove him ~
public. she pinched his arm. He I'D
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16
PROC|TYSAFE
POLL INDICATES SENATE WILL
lNDORSE BILL BY AN OVER.
WHELMING MAJORITY.
TKIRTY VOTES TO SPARE
Change In Sentiment ls Attributed
Largely to Taft's Efforts
Lorimer Committee
Named.

Washington, D. G. - The Canadian
reciprocity agreement will be adopted
by the senate without amendment and
with more than 80 votes to spare. This
prediction is based upon careful poll
Of the senate. This poll shows a re-
markable change in sentiment, due in
large measure to the gallant fight
President Taft has made for the legis-
lation and the overwhelming public
sentiment in favor Of the proposed
treaty, which was shown by the Chi
cago Tribune's poll of editors in %
different states of the Union.
AS it is at present lined up the sen.
ate stands upon the reciprocity meas
vlra M f011ows.
Dewey County advocate. [volume] (Timber Lake, S.D.) 1910-1913, 1911-06-16

F YOU are happily married,
these little stories will
make you realize how
lucky you are. writes Maude
Neal. in the New York
Sunday World.