davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29
A GOOD LAW.

THAT any person, firm, association
or corporation engaged in the pub
lication of any newspaper, magazine,
periodical, or other advertising me
dium published in the state of Colo
rado, or any employe of any such
publisher who shall make any state
ment concerning circulation Of any
newspaper, magazine, periodical or
other advertising medium by any such
person, firm, association or corpora
tion published, and upon which such
statement concerning circulation of
any such newspaper, magazine, peri
odical or other advertising medium,
such publisher fixes its charge for ad-
vertising space or any such newspa-
per, magazine, periodical or other ad-
vertising medium which shall be un-
true or misleading, as to its actual
bona fide circulation, shall be guilty
of q misdemeanor and shall upon con-
viction, be punished by a fine Of not
less than one hundred nor more than
one thousand dollars or by imprison-
ment in the county Jail for not longer
than six months or by both such fine
and imprisonment and in addition shall
be liable to an action by advertisers
in such publication for any damages
sustained by any such advertiser in
such sum as the actual bona fide cir
culation bears to the untrue or mis-
Leading statement of such publisher
concerning the circulation of any
such newspaper, magazine, periodical
or other advertising medium"
The above Is the text Of a new
law passed in the closing hours of
the last session. II is good law,
there is no more reason why pub
Usher of q paper should be allowed
TO obtain money under false pretense,
by lying about the circulation of his
paper, than that a merchant should
be allowed to sell sixty pounds of su-
gar for one hundred pounds. The cir
culation of the Daily and Semi Week
ly Herald is so much greater than that
Of any competitor that we are proud
of it and our books are open to all
advertisers to prove our claims.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

ness and pleasure, which await the
coming of the hand which shall har-
vest them.
The question OF accessibility is go
ing to be settled in the near. but We
must admit that it is somewhat in
definite, future. The work, which was
begun yesterday, of building a great
state highway which viii bring to us
much tourist travel, is a great and a
good thing but We want also to keep
up the agitation of the necessity Of
another line Of railroad which will
let us out, with our products, to the
hungry markets of the southwest, this
road is coming but it is coming too
darn slow to suit the people Of this
region, and the region to be served.
II is worth while to boost, to strive
for the obtaining of the things we
need, so let US get together and boost
with an exceeding boost, and let us
strive with all our might, to get these
things which we need and must have
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29
AS there are some people who like

As there are some people who like
Il newspaper fight we have arranged
with one of our vile and loathsome edi-
torial friends to start one. We have
agreed to call him bow-legged,
knock-kneed, brainless chimpanzee,
and he will in return call us pot.
bellied, butter-fingered, slobbering
nincompoop. This great three ring
attraction will be pulled off as soon
as the tourist season opens. Now is
the time to subscribe, no extra charge
TO paid up in advance subscribers. If
we can arrange to shoot at each other,
with blank cartridges, the extra edi-
tions containing the account Of the
awful duel will be sold ON the streets
by nswsboys at the price Of 10 cents
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29
each. Orders booked in advance, Tor
limited number. will be filed at the
rate Of three for quarter.
For WOMEN ONLY

An editorial for women only may
be novelty but then, you know, the
Herald is novel paper. Women are
II peculiar creature, they give the
world the best they have, the best IL
gets, and are therefore entitled TO the
best to be got out of il.
Women have for ages been called
the weaker sex but it now appears
that in so calling them an inJustice
has been done, they are not weaker
sex in any particular but really are
the stronger, as i8 clearly shown by
the results Of an investigation which
has just been completed by members
of the New York Medican association.
The report filed by DR.. Ii. A. Stew
art, president of the commission, Is
that women have longer average HE
than man. They require less nourlsh-
ing food. They live and thrive IN an
atmosphere containing less oxygen
than is required by men. They en-
dure more heat and are not as read
lily affected by cold. They stand the
rarilied air OF elevated regions better
than men. They suffer less from the
effects of anaesthetics and they stand
severe surgical operations better, they
yell less when in the hands OF the den,
list and in danger are cooler and
show more bravery.
Bear in mind that it is man who
says all these things, if it We're a
woman who made these claims for her
sex we men would just sit back and
laugh but when male man makes
these statements we are compelled to
sit up and take notice.
nt Gtatyut.t a1en makes the state
ment that the female sex is mighty
near immune from idiocy and imbe
cility, leaving this field almost entire
ly to the males. He further passes
out the lemon to US men by stating
that badness is almost unknown
among women, that they are exempt,
to a remarkable degree, from the
pangs of rheumatism and the pains OF
gout, and that they "are more likely
to survive the ordeal of hanging"
TO the eulogy by DR.. Stewart we
can conscientiously, and consistently,
add little eulogy of our own and
are proud to do so. We have observed
that women can stand the fatigue OF
a talking match IA great deal better
than men, that they can come nearer
standing on their heads while comb
ing their hair, and that they can wear
tight shoes and smile under anguish
that would make man ''cuss blue
streak" That they can, at least out
wardly, come nearer loving their enc
mics and forgiving their foes than
any man, they can kiss when they feel
like cussing, and cuss when they feel
like kissing, can say meaner things
while in u good humor and nicer
things when they are as mad as thun-
der, than any man living.
II would indeed be dreary world
without women, they We're so extreme
ly necessary to the plan of the Gre
ator that they were created very early
in the game and have been, directly OF
indirectly, mixed up in about every
affair of any Importance since that
date.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Not deeming it sure thing at all,
but being sporty enough to be willing
to take chance, we'll bet five-cent
cigar that the view which met the eyes
Of Moses, when he gazed from the
mountain top over into the promised
land, was not bit prettier than can
be seen from the top of the mountain
which is found just north of the city
of Durango.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

ming 10 hold big celebration in TINS
city on July 4. The arrangements
will all be made by the members "i
the tribe and no donations are To be
asked of the public.
Albert Mcconnell returned last
night after an absence OF some Two
years spent in California as \ student
of Leland Stanford university His
many friends in this city are pleas
ed to welcome him home again.
o.
Mrs. ]. r. C. Tyler and little daugh-
ter left this morning for six weeks
visit in Denver and Leadville. Mrs. X:
d. Allison, Mrs. Tyler's sister, and
children, who spent the past month IN
this city, returned home this morn
ing. As the sisters had not com
pleted their visit Mrs. Tyler accom-
panied her sister home to spend lew
weeks in sLeadville, and the rest OF
the time in Denver with other friends.
Mr.. and Mrs. o. l.. Keen and their
small son, Frederick Stanton, were in
town over night on brief business
trip, returned to their home at Bay
field today Frederick Stanton is a
very handsome baby, who, according
to his father, gets his good looks from
the paternal side of the house. We
refrain from expressing an opinion.
Mrs. A. H. Weston of Riverside,
N. NJ, Mrs. C. d. Taylor jr. of Cedar
Hill, and Mrs. C. d. Taylor sr. of
Colorado City, came in on the Red Ap-
pie train last night, and stayed over
at the Palace. This morning Mrs.
Taylor sr left for her home at Colo
RADIO City, her sister, Mrs Weston,
and daughter, Mrs. Taylor jr. accom-
panying her this far on her trip. The
two latter return home tomorrow, put
ting in their time shopping and visit
ing the dentist, today.
Miss Nettie Buchanan, and sister
Helen, came down on the morning
train from their home in the Animas
valley. Miss Buchanan has recently
completed successful term of school
at Eureka and came down from Sill
verton few days ago. The young
ladies will visit their sister, Mrs. Har-
ry Fry, for few days.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29
There is nothing nowadays chat the

There is nothing nowadays that the
courts won't try to regulate. In
Georgia last week a man complained
to the courts that his wife was race
suicidist and that he wanted a family,
the judge, instead of granting the man
divorce, sent the couple back home
together and instructed the woman
to become mother within the next
twelve months or go to Jail for ninety
DAYS.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

The loafer is an abomination, no
man likes him. The barkeeper who
sells him drinks, hates him, the bust
ness man breads to see him come into
the office or shop, his family cannot
respect him. In fact he is almost
as bad as the fly but it is against
the law to swat him and that's where
the law is lame.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Don't spend real money for ba-
rometer, beg a gingersnap from your
baker and keep it on the porch. When
it is going to rain the cookie will get
soft and this is sign that never
fails. When you get tired of using it
as weather prophet you can scrape
off the fly specks and eat it.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Willie 1t is true that it is no use to
cry over split milk yet 1t is equally
tue that il you cry loud enough you
may attract the attention Of the milk
man and get him to come back with
another quart.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

There are three things which make
us shy off from the man who does
them. One is saying "By Doggy" in
stead OF using cuss word; one is the
continuous scratching of the arms or
leg and the other is wearing wom-
ans size watch on mans sized chain
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

We never use up our space in at
tempting any defense of The Herald's
position on any subject. We take the
stand that we believe is right and
those who do not like that stand are
at liberty to take another.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

1t is a great fad nowadays to har-
rass and worry a newly-married cou-
pie by every fiendish and unpleasant
trick conceivable but some day an
indignant bridegroom will shoot the
stuffing out of lot of the tormentors
and the courts will clear him and the
people will take up collection to buy
him medal.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

A live man is good thing for a
community but a man who is dead on
his feet" and just waiting for some
enc to push him over into coffin,
is detriment to himself and his
neighbors.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

If we thought that the use Of strong
drink would make us dream of fearful
things, like the Utah man who dream
ed that his mother-in-law made him a
visit, we'd take the pledge at once.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Many man could learn a good
lesson from the helpful hen, which
never cackles until after the egg is
laid. This thing of telling what you
are going to do tomorrow doesn't
count.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

The professional sponge has about
the easiest wa. Of making living
but is about the most universally de-
tested creature in all the world.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

While we admit that it does not
exactly mean that the stuff is better
yet we are glad that what you find
OH the editorial page of this paper is
not written with paste pot and a
pair of shears.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

There is an old saying that the
devil takes the hindermost" but it Is
our idea that Mr.. Devil don't care
much for those who lag along behind
and that it is the leaders that he par
ticularly desires.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

love you just impress it on his mind
that he is being imposed upon In
order to make it easy for some favor
ite, that his money is being used IN
order to allow some other man
chance to have q good time.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

II is II hard proposition to attempt
to refrain from wishing but the less
time you put in on that line the bet
ter. Ii one was the very best wisher
in all the world he couldn't get job
at wishing which would pay his room
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Our idea OF the political situation
is that to be strictly in style you
should claim to be a Republican but
admit that you generally vote the
Democratic ticket. DO this and the
pie is yours.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

We believe in watching our neigh
bors and criticizing them for their
mistakes, but we should not spend SO
much time at the task we haven't
time TO clean up our own back yard
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Remember this, good town does
not just simply happen, it takes hard
work, and lots of it, to make town
n good one,
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Don't get discouraged because some
one points out a fault or two in your
daily life. 1t is said that the latest
edition of Webster's Unabridged CON
tains over seven hundred mistakes.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Some men are so narrow in their
thoughts that about all the good they
can see in any of the fraternal orders
is that by joining they get chance
TO blackball future candidates.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Remember that woman who will
get too friendly with you will prob
ably also get too friendly with the
men who come after you nre gone and
the man who pats you on the back
without apparent reason will also pat
your competitor when he drops in.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

1t is all very well TO talk about
conscience and all that but the thing
that drives most men to honest toll
is the fact chat they need the money.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

A man who trades his health, or his
home comforts, for what fun he can
get out of fast life has made Il
mighty poor trade.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

In the foolish question class q new
one" is entered. A fat old gentlemen
who arrived at the depot moment TOO
late was observed TO take after de-
parting train and run behind it for q
block. Were you trying to catch
the train," he was asked, but he smiled
YEARLY and replied, Hell, no! was
Just chasing it out of the town.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

You often read about how well the
inmates of n poorhouse are fed but
you never read the inmates boasting
ON that score or read of an epidemic
Of gout in an almshouse.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

In spite of the "See America First"
movement it is said that u larger num-
ber of passengers have been "booked"
for European tours this year than
ever before.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

There are two things which always
look out Of place to us. One is an Ice
delivery in January and the other q
coal delivery in July.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

II you are smart enough To be your
own lawyer you ought to be smart
enough to keep out Of trouble and then
you will have no use for lawyer.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Give your job printing to a dinky
little job office and take your free
puffs to "A newspaper plant. They'll
be glad to run them for you.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

When . man is treated well at home
you don't need to look in the saloons
and lodgs halls for him In case you
want to ~ him outside Of Office
bOurs. ..-.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

The oldest railroad in the United
States is the Baltimore & Ohio, not
the Alamosa and Durango branch Of
the d. & r. G., as many people imag
ine
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

A vulgar story may be witty enough
to make it pleasing but it viii be the
wit, and not the vulgarity, which it
contains that will make it so.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

A man feels just as foolish when
wearing n new suit of clothes as u
woman does when she wears her old
ones.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

You can get out of lots Of argu-
ments if you have got nerve enough
to own up that you know nothing at
all of the subject under discussion.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

We claim to be different in this
also, that we do not go around slap
ping old men on the back and calling
them "kiddo."
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

1t seems to be human nature to be
more highly elated over the thirty
cents won in slot machine than over
$40 earned in legitimate manner.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Remember, when calling ON busy
man, that it takes a mighty inter
esting conversationalist to be welcome
for more than three minutes.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Fair play is fine thing but the
trouble is you always have to let the
other fellow be the judge Of what is
fair play.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Many women are like strawberries
in this respect: take away the FIX
ings and they are not very appetiz-
ing.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Mr.. and Mrs. r. C. Haupt of Colo
RADIO Springs wer outgoing passengers
on the eastern this morning, bound
for Alamosa, where they will stay
over for day or two before leaving
for home Mr.. Haupt is state repre-.
sentative of the American Insurance
company of Newark, N. j., and also
for the Milwaukee Mechanics of Mil
waukee, and was here on business
with S. w. Pingrey.
Among all the conflicting reports as
to the fruit crop it is well not TO
be discouraged too soon. Every re-
port we have had so far this spring
of frnit failure in the San Juan sec
ton has been discredited later. The
fruit in San Juan county, New Mexico,
the Montezuma valley and the Animas
valley is unhurt. While the fruit trees
in certain spots in this city, appear
to have suffered, this condition is by
no means general, and except in a
few cases the fruit crop will be good.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Our idea of nothing to read is al
account of the proceedings of "A tria
of a colored man in the south.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

AS a rule man will never waste
much time arguing a point unless he
knows he is in the wrong.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

At a stag party the refreshments
are always poured while at woman's
party they are Served"
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

No man is so cowardly Shat he won't
make big talk and utter threats when
he is using the telephone.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

The bond between fool and his
money is not usually of the kind which
needs a crowbar to break.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

According to a statement issued
from the headquarters of the Social;
Isl party, thirty-six cities of the Unit
ed States have elected Socialist may
ors since Jan. |.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

1t isn't knowing too much that hurts
people, it's knowing so much that isn't
true.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

No bank will cash a $40 check for
man who is unknown but almost any
girl will marry him II he asks her
to do so.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

About every so often you hear of
case where a character assassin got
hoisted by his own petard.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

A performance may lead to a de-
formity, or a reformatory, it all de
pends on WHO catches you at it.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

The expected rain did not come last
night. Simon Guggenheimer! Policel
Seat! (Dont shoot, we won't do it
again.)
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

In the race between Supply and
demand" money usually gets dis
tancel
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

You may think that you have lots
of trouble but there are others. Poor
old Diaz for instance.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Be as cheerful as possible but al
ways keep the soft pedal on.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Mr.. and Mrs. ]. J. Hollingsworth
are here from Cortez for day or
two on their way east.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Rev. Father l.. Pecorella went to
CASTELAR, today, to conduct Catholic
services.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29
PROMPT Ac a We
RELIABLE MOO ~ ] -

Gold. rs cents Gold and Silver. 81,
Gold. Silver and Copper. $l50. Gold
and Silver refined and bought. Write
f9r free mailing sacks. OGDEN As
SAY CO., 1886 Court Place. Denve
Colo
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

If you want man to just dearly
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

From Friday's Daily.
Judge b. f. Houx was passenger
to Pennington this morning on Few
days outing.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

ming To hold big celebration in TINS
city on July 4. The arrangements
will all be made by the members "i
the tribe and no donations are to be
asked of the public.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Mrs. w. II. Crccker was return
ing passenger to her home in Silver
ton this morning after a brief visit
with Durango friends.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29
LOCAL NEWS.

u u u u II a n a n n n n u y Il
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

j. D. Clark, the Pennington real
estate man, was guest of the South
ern last night on his way to Denver,
on business.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Mrs. d. A. Bowdre and sons of Az
tee were in the city last night, pass
ing through to their former home at
Joplin, Mo. Mrs. Bowdre was a guest
of her cousin, Mrs. j. M. Morrison,
while in town.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

A. A. Buck left for Aztec this morn
ing where he will put in some plumb
ing fixtures.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

A. l.. Saunders and l.. B. Wise Of
Newport, Wis, were arrivals on last |
nights train on a land seeking trip
through San Juan county. They were
passengers on the Red Apple train
this morning.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

]. d. McGaughey of tile Pioneer
Construction company is in from the
company's camp on Florida mesa, on
business.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

The Red Men Of Durango are plan.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Mr. and Mrs. John Ogle and Miss
Celeste Martin were in the city last
night on their way from Edith to
Mancos, where they expect to visit for
a month or two.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Goble departed
for their home in Silverton this morn
ing, after a short visit in town, on
a combined business and pleasure trip
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

Mrs. E. F. Mccartney and daugh-
ters, Misses Sadie, Matte and Edna,
and Miss Anna Oberreich, left for
bayfield, this morning to visit Mrs.
Townsend, Mrs. McCartney's mother,
for few days.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

A ball game between the Moose and
Railroad mines will be pulled off next
Sunday morning at the fair grounds.
Both sides are confident of victory, so
a lively game may be anticipated.
Semi-weekly herald., 1911-05-29

o. S. Evans came up from Farming
ton last night on his way to La Plata
City, on a brief business trip. Mr..
Evans was a passenger ON the South
ern this morning.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-17
BREAK A BAD COLD
IN SEVERAL HOURS.
Most Severe Cold and All
Grippe Misery Will
Simply Vanish.


The most effective and harmless way to cure
the Grippe or break severe cold, either in
the head. chest. back, stomach o. limbs is .
dose Of Pape's Gold Compound every two hours
until three consecutive doses are taken.
You will distinctly feel the cold breaking and
all grippe symptoms going after the very hrst
dose. 1t promptly relieves the most miserable
headache, dullness, head and nose stuffed up,
fevegishness. sneesing. sore throat. running OF
the nose, soreness, stiffness and rheumatic ach-
ing.
Take this harmless Compound a. directed. with
the knowledge that there is no other medicine
made anywhere else in the world which will
cure your cold or end Grippe misery As prompt
" aud without any other assistance or bad
after effects a. 25-cent package Of Pape's
Cold Compound. which any druggist in the world
can supply.
After three years research We have coaels-
sively Demonstrated that euislns 10 not elective
n the trsatmspt OF colds or grippe.
. = $780, go. : -,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-17

The disease-so named from the yellow
or lemon color of its victims-prevails