Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1911-11-08
SOME WIVES
WANTED
By NJ QUAD
Copyright. 1911. by Associated LII
erary Press

Spring bad just opened at Srawber-
~ hill diggings when somsthing oc-
Cured to put US all In q happy frame
Of mind Deacon Turner, who had left
us In the fall to pass the winter In the
east. returned to camp He brought
with him a grand scheme. and a public
meeting was called that he might IN
fold it can clearly remember him rs
he stood on the head OF an empty pork
barrel TO address the $50 miners as
sembled- He was tall and angular and
serious. Whenever a man died within
twenty miles Of US his comrades sent
for the deacon to conduct the funeral
services. and the deacon did IL In such
a nice. smooth way that verybody en-
toyed the occasion. I also remember
bis opening address He said:
"TeI!er Citizens-Let US git right
down to bizness. This ere camp. num-
BERN $50 men, IL a-cryin' out like the
children In the wilderness fur-what?
whisky? No: you ar two bar'ls ahead
Meat1 No: thar's plenty OF meat Pun
kin pie and feather beds? No; we
hain't no use fur luxuries. What our
hearts is achin' fur Is go wives 10
sooths our weary souls Tremendous
applause-l No place Is home without
a woman. No man kin be happy with
out n wife. IWhoops and yells.l Para
disc wouldn't be wuth Shucks without
women. More yells.l When our work
FOR the day is over We hev no homes
to go TO. no wives to welcome Us. 10
body to smooth Us down and comb our
hair and sing soothin' songs TO rest
our weary limbs.
Why hain't we got wives and
honest" demanded the deacon as he
raised his right arm and extended IL to-
ward the east.
"'Cause We hain't gone at II to git
I 'em Away of thar In the east are $50
/ women a-cryin' out fur husbands and
/ homes. tLong continued applause |
kin almost hear EN- boiler. They want
'em. and they want 'em bad"
The most intense excitement prevail
ed when the deacon stepped down He
had been east where there were won
en-. He must know that they were
pinlng to come. Ne was followed by
Judge Psersan. who hid two or three
wives back In the States. but who
feeiineiy declared that he wanted one
OF the drove OF 80. Theu Colonel
Taylor. who had run away from his
second or third. mounted 4 barrel and
shed tears as he drew a picture OF n
happy home at strawberry hiil-a
home made happy by the presence OF
a wife. Two or three Others had some
thing to say IN the same strain. and
then Deacon Turner unfolded his plan.
The camp was TO raise AZ large a fund
as possible. and the deacon was 70 re-
turn TO the States. collect the $50 fe-
males and conduct them bg tie qSiC6-
est route to strawberry bill. We were
playing in luck just then. and tie
smallest contribution was SS. | be-
neve the deacon took away with him
in cold cash nearly $1,000. Every
mans name went down on the list
according 10 the amount he paid. and
the following schedule was posted on
the traders front door:
twenty-five dollars gifts the pick Of
the lot.
Twenty dollars gits q regular wild
der.
"F!ftsaG dollars gifts . Srs~s wtdGer-
Ten dollars Efts q 80.
-T9vs Aonsrs So al OAo ma<d O.
whatever Is left over
mo departure from these rules IN
der any circumstances
The schedule" seemed perfectly fair
and was accepted by all The deacon
left US In May. and we could look for
him back In September at the latest
IL was three months to a day before
the lookout posted on the bill signated
to US that a caravan was IN sight
Had a barrel OF powder exploded in
camp the excitement could not have
been greater Everybody got into his
! vest Ut once. and. according TO pro
gram, we marched TO the hill.
By and by the cavalcade appeared
Deacon Turner appeared frst Behind
him. seated on 4 mule. came a female
a woman. one lone woman That
was all. She was ffty-hve years old
wrinkled. gray haired and alnos;
toothless. and she didn't look supreme
ly happy.
.'Whar's the other 249?" demanded
100 voices IN chorus. while score OF
men ran TO the top OF the hill.
I'll explain later on" replied the
deacon as he continued bis way to the
camp
he did. After he had tucked the old
woman away in a shanty be came ou'
to US aud said:
Boys. low me 10 Introduce my
wife"
"But whars our wivesT' yelled the
crowd.
Boys. we didn't hgger Jest right
!
east l found that women had riz hk'