The Colorado statesman., 1911-09-30

VI
bAszzza-1'AE 1z'1A'H1 fear of being too
ridiculous or extreme.
Here are a few with what may be
called patriotic streak; M. j. Yam
kee, Preserved Ireland, Mexico Wash
ington, Alfred Constantinople.
These suggest a hardware store:
Minerva Hatchett, John Hammer and
George AK.
These would come in handy for
man running restaurant: Peter
Beets. James Bean, Susan Gale. John
Garlick Daniel Mustard. John Meats,
John Ham, Thomas Tongue, w. II.
Lamb, David Mutton, w. T. Kidney,
Samuel Heart, William Fish, Samuel
Crab, William Oyster and John Her
ring, Enoch Fritters, Henry Pancake.
John Crumb, Charles Drybread. George
Goodbread, Thomas Butterbaugh, Irwin
Huckleberry, Obediah Gooseberry,
John Jelly, Tom Cherry, Adam Apple
and Sandy Dates, Isham Vinegar,
John Sourbeer. James Sourwine, Een-
jamin Sherry and S. B. Goodale.
William Roof, Margaret Floor and
Josiah Door might we'll mingle In the
building business, but Sarah Razor
hasn't a close friend in all the lists. In
the hazy background can be heard
Andrew Laugh, David Jolly, Jane
Shriekingoat, Anguish Smith, Dreary
Graves. Daniel Death and Mourning
Ashby.
Elkana Dampman, Louisa Wetright,
Thomas Rain, William Hail, Robert
Dew, Davis Moist, Jeptha Showery,
Milton Sloppy, James Blizzard and
Seacat Showers probably are weather
prophets.
David Tadpole, Cochran Roach,
Robert Gait, Frank Coon, Henry Deer
Amos Hogg and James Pigg consti'
tute quite menagerie.
Here is an aggregation that exudes
a religious atmosphere: Susan Sun
day, Christian Easterday. Philip East
ernight, Mary j. Chapel, William Arch
deacon. Good Preacher, Robert Priest.
Celestial Good, Hiram Pray, John
Blessing. Stephen Souls, Samuel Holy
cross. Pleasant Cross, Apostle Paui,
jeremiah Scripture and Levi Bible
Pursuing them closely are EDWARD
Vice and Conrad Sinner.
Then a psychological few: Endearln
Johnson, Charles Kiss; Kiss brings
Henry Hug; Hug Arings John Wed
ding, and Wedding provides John
Bridegroom. Afterward come Robert
Bodkin, Jacob Needles, William FUSS
Hugh Cry and Mary Sobbs.
Then a high and mighty three: John
Emneror Moses Sovereign and Ed
ward Throne.
And a nervous bunch: oliver Jumps
Andrew Bump, Simon Dancer, James
Waltz, Peter Trip and George Gai-
lup.
And an unwelcome few: Jesse
Toothache. Edward Dentist, George
Bonebreak and James Bonekiller.
The manner in which different parts
of the human anatomy are scattered
about might be sufficiently suggestive
of n battlefield to induce the govern
ment to grant pensions, for there are
lanes Legg. Thomas Foote, Hiram
Head. Samuel Nose, William Face,
lanes Cheek, Adam Shanks, Samuel
Hand. Stephen Back and E. 6. Lpp'
Mary Body. Joseph Boil and America
Corns.
Picking out enough of these to make
Thomas Mann there are plenty Oh
clothes to array him in: Jerry Gun
Mary Collar, Ford Cravat' Wlilan
Corsets and Robert Bonnet.
Then Thomas Bathes, for Tim Tunos
and James Towel await him. Having
bathed he goes down to breakfast ana
finds on the card Isaac Quail, Aaron
Drake. Hester Pigeon and william
Grow.
Then merrily he goes on his way to
business singing, along with Peter
Highnote. Jane Melody, John Har-
mony. John Songster. John Harp ana
D. P. Ditty.
Down town he associates with David
Dollar. Jacob Shilling, William Mllllon'
George Thousand. Thomas Pence
william Farthing, A. Hapenny and
nerbaps. with Wiley Wise, William
Clever. William Swindle and X
Rogue. ,,,
In the evening he dimes Win VIII
tam Proper. James Polite, John Harm
less and Lafayette d. Favorite' and'
mayhap, with Washington slllyman,
Henry Gump, Blooming May ana
Mary Grasshopper.