davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
TWO-MINUTE VAUDEVILLE
BY FRED sCHAEFER.

Slap, what's the difference between hooking bird
a plumber? Give it up?
SLAP: Yes
Well, knocking bird and
pIumber-the mocking but the plumber can
only lay pipe.
coming out of brewery the other day.
thought the waterwagon?
THUD: Oh that's all right only go down to shove
WE'LL I'd like to ask questonwhy is toy ab-
a woman's switch?
THUD Whyf
they're akeeach is false hare
THUD sister She's in a show
SLAP: s she a clever actress?
into giving her a job.
won't last 1ong-she forgets her lines.
SLAP: Does she suffer much from stage fright?
THUD No; only when the curtain is
mercifu1 and bindfold her?
a merciul scheme than hat-they re
going O bndfold the audience.
baritone whistng entitled 1.-THE Col
apsible In al Nothing Form
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

"Maw!"
Edwin"
"Are we gonna have some
strawberry shortcake soon?"
"Why do you ask, Precious?"
Because it's in season-the
paper says the short-measure
berry boxes are here again."
well. 1 will try to make you
some-in a short time"
why can't you make some for
supper?"
Because the time Is so short.
But there are other difficulties
we are short of butter
"Say, NAV, If the butter is
short, does it come from Short
horn cow"
ct doesn't matter-any butter
from any kind of cow Is good for
shortcake. The main thing is the
strawberry.
81 guess 1t Is the main thing.
nav. Take shortcake with just
one strawberry short and there
amt nothin' left but the cake
and there amt even enough OF
that to tell which is short-the
cake or the strawberry. Amt that
SO, maw?"
"I wish, my son, that you
would cut your questions short.
"Tell me what NAV. you give
me a recipe for strawberry short
cake"
ooh, it is too long-I will let
you copy one from the cook
book"
Never mind, maw-I can't
write shorthand"
"You will shortly make me
shorttempered, Edwin, with such
talk. Go out and play shortstop
with the boys while 1 read this
short story entitled Short of
dough, or the Long Lost Heirs
Strawberry Mark Was Tattoed on
the Wrong Arm
"But nav
"You are annoying me, Edwin.
In short, you are too long-winded
What do you want?"
"If I was to ask you for cake,
could I expect a short answer"
Then just to show that there
was nothing short about her
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
0ll0hIr nBusiness Office, Main 733, A1733
fNIIWf 1CircuIation Dept, Main 1873, A1733
sIOvlOEditorial Dept, Main 791. A1733
OFFICE-768 Commerce st.


election will largely or
Placing
Shaping
officials much whether ne
despite the fact that Tacoma p
ordinance has fallen
rather serious thing
election, where 10000 people
at
Ten thousand people yot
satisfied with man hke
overlooked his oath offce
to law?
Mr. Roys small for public
w 8
power be elected
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
THE TACOMA MARKET

hundred; Olympia oysters. 800 OF.
shrimps, 12Mc Q25c; crabs. $3.50 q
Zoo q doz. perch, loo.
Hay. Feed and Grain
Prices I'm Tacoma.
Bran. S5c sack; shorts, $1.2C
sack; wheat, S2.15 sack; oats, $1.6t
sack 100 lbs; hay, timothy. s24 ten:
alfalfa. SIT ton; corn. $3.50 sack.
WHOLESALE PRICES
Livestock.
Cows. 4hc; steer beef. 6k 1gi: C;
wethers,- Az @4&c; lambs. 81 @6c;
ewes, 6Q4hc; hogs. 1oG11c; heif-
.ers. 4Zc.
Turkeys. 23@25c; ducks, live,
lie; hens. live. tic; springs, 20
@ 22c: squads. live. s2.500S dog;
Vegetables.
lrtichokes. 81 doz: beans. wax, 80
h.; green, SO h.; bell peppers, zoe;
Chill peppers. 12c; tomatoes. $2.256
$50 crate; cucumbers, dollhouse
$50 doz.; carrots. zoo dog. punches.
81 sack; beets, 20o doz.. $1.75 sack:
&c; radishes. SOC doz.; rutabagas.
$1.25 sack: parsley. csc doz: lettuce.
$3.50 per crate: spinach. &c lib.
sprouts. &c; green onions. zoo dos
Butter and Egg.
BUTTER-Wa shington. Csc.
Observation-Disclosures ranch, can
Had 29c
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
OUR DAILY BIRTH.
DAY PARTY.

Medill Mccormick Is but "a
years old today, yet he is publish
err of one of the greatest news
papers in the world-the Chicago
Tribune. Ten years ago he was
only cub reporter, drawing So
a week. 1t was hard shedding,
for Mccormick, but he had the
blood of Joseph Medill on one
side and that of the binder trust
on the other, so there was no
keeping him down. He has editor
ial ability and business ability,
too-a rare combination-and to-
day he Is treasurer and publisher
of the Tribune-and incidentally
writing editorials whenever he
feels like 1t.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
Sermon of the Smallpox

interesting illumination of the sociology OF our
unconscousy American returning
from Mexico:
had smallpox alto
the better class These
guarded
night the house."
fellows to
opportunities education and refine
comfort hndmos?
devil gets em!
ought to be good to the unfortunate
they standsill in their
health ands Blu ITO him
hath shall be
ever little that he hath
its place the better rule
ability according to his need
that 5 civilizations big job right
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
RETAIL PRICES.


Meats
Round steak, 15c; sirloin, i5c
porterhouse, zoe; pot roast, lSW llG
mutton steak, 12hc; chops, lSc; PORE
steak, TING; chops. zoe; ham. sliced
25c: liver, Sc; veal chops. Z0c,
hens. csc; pork sausage, 12hc iamn
shoulders, 10c; picnic ham, l2he.
Vegetables
Peas, 15c, or 2 lbs. for 2bc; as
marquis, 5@7c; radishes, zoe per
doz.; cucumbers. 1o@ 15c each; pota-
toes, home grown. $3.50, Yakima,
s2,75 SIX; tomatoes, LOG 1oc per
H.: cabbage, Sc lb.: lettuce, 2 for
hc: all bunch stuff. 3 for &c; eau
iifiower. 5000 head, rhubarb, 3 lbs
FOR 1Oc; artichokes. for 15c.
Fruits.
Apples. $1@2.25 box; oranges. 10
m soc doz.; grape fruit. for 16c, 4
Tor use; strawberries, loo box;
lemons, zoe per dog.
Dairy Products.
Eggs, 25c doz.; cream cheese,
17Hc; cottage, 15c; .Swis. imported
$50; domestic. 25c; butter. ESQ
''O' Fish
Halibut cheeks . lbs; a5c; haiisMt
Sc Id; salmon, 15c; smelts, A lbs. Csc
hack cod, loo; salmon trout, 1Sc
rock cod, 15c: clans, 30 per h.;
90 stern oysters, $1.00 Of; $4,000 6
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
OOW dOM

The TIVE between Easter and
To father seems short. When
he's paid
For the feathered, be-ribboned
new lid
For mother to wear on parade,
Then daughter says: "Well, pa,
|. guess
1 need a graduation DRESS"
The cupola on John ID. Rookie
feller's Pocantico house was too
heavy to lift. How about the
mortgage?
Our Hall of Fame.
George Ellison, Memphis, was
caught snatching the last penny
from a blind newsboy.
The pies that mother made
don't interest us so much nova
days as the dough that father
made.
The maiden says shyly: 'Now,
Norman,
Are you certain you can sup
port two?"
'Do you think that 1 am Nor
mon?"
He answers. I'm sure one will
do"
Otto, the crazy king of Bavaria,
has forgotten that he is king. And
others, like Manuel, can't forget
they were.
A drunk was released in a New
York police court when he recit-
ed Omar Khayyam to the judge.
On that basis, If he'd recited Ella
Wheeler Wilcox he'd a-got a
medal.
Let's Discard This:
II like cucumbers, but they
don't like me-"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
BRoTHER's BRIGHT

BROTHERS. BRIGHT
PROSPECTS
A group of little girls were dis
cussing the merits of the babies in
their families, and each was striv-
ing to Guido the others in reciting
the virtues and achievements OF
the home infant.
"My little sister is only seven
months old, and she has three
teeth" said one.
"My little brother is only six
months old, and he has four"
boosted a second.
"My little brother hasn't any
yet" ventured a third, but when
his do come they're going to be
gold ones. "-Lippincott's.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

NAV" sent him to the store a
short distance away for some
shortcake, but her peace was
shortlived, because on Edwin's
return in a short time she found
he'd been short changed.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

fought the hard
est and bloodi-
est battle in the
campaign 4 o r
he capture OF
Vicksburg. Grant
in command of
$1,000 federals
pounded the con-
federate SO Wig
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
~. @MzMATs<MHNme

of tideless
they huge tipped giant
of the
amounting blow
place N a would call a bit of blow.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
B, |. p. u. QUOTATIONS

sI.75 doz.; spinach. &c Is; dollhouse
Iradishes, Csc doz.; rhubarb, 1@2c;
new asparagus. 5@6c.
MEATS-Roosters Is % 15c: springs
|22c; hens, 17@ 19c; veal. 11Q lac.
EGGS. &c.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
THE WOMAN's THAT'S

DIFFERENT
"She looks like a woman with a
past"
"She is"
"Is she trying to live down a
mistaken"
Not exactly; she is trying to
divorce it. Judge.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
AN ENGLIsHWOMAN's

mn I11NUI1BJII w ONIHN ,
LOVE LETTERS
Bertie-I've been having a love-
ly game with this postoffice set
you gave me, auntie. I've taken a
real letter to every house in the
road.
Auntie-How nice! And where
did you get all the letters?
Bertie-Oh, l found a big bun
die tied up with pink ribbon in
your desk.--London Punch.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

FRUIT - Apples, fancy. $i.10 @
65c9s1. Pears. 65c @$1.6o.
VEGETABLES house let
ltuce, $500 1.60: cucumbers. 75c ~
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
OBSERVATIONS

KUEKENTHAL, zooogist Bresau university
Harvard And he's not the first
Willy Hardware, eyther.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

orously that Gen. Pemberton was
compelled to retreat to the Big
Black river, only 10 miles from
Grants coveted goal.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
A FINE STATE OF AFFAIRS

A FINE STATE OF AFFAIRS
cts positively disgusting!"
what Isl"
"The way people crowd to the
theater to see an improper play.
Just think; They've sold out the
house for three weeks in ad-
vance,"
How do you know"
II tried to purchase tickets and
couldn't. Judge.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
COME NOW, LET'S SMILE AWHILE
A DEAD GIVEAWAY

Maud-Did the brides father
give her away?
TAM should say he did. Why,
all through the ceremony he look
ed tickled to death!-Blue Bull.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

COLLEGE, Mass. al Faculty
naming black stockings other things
threaten
Simple" that they won't stockings at all
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

PRODUCTION furniture will be one-hird prices
orrespondngy by the decision the national
kicking
tas have bargain sales Maybemaybe understand
the decision will be reversed in the fall
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
TODAY IN HISTORY

May 16, 1868, at Champions
hill, near Jackson, Miss, was
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

produced fill O0acre tank
championship
would a drown in that tank than
Amaric ON
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
lit STIMULATES RECOVERY

whats the difference between
a hospital and a sanatorium?"
About twenty dollars a week. 4"
Kansas City Journal.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

raise lemons well in Iowa. Last yea
couples figured divorce suits
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

En@ red at the postoffice nt Taecmn Wash. rs
sec ond-cIass matter TELEGR4PHfC SERVICE
Or UNITED PRESS ASSOCIATION.
PUBLISHED EVERY EVENING EXCEPT SUM-
DAY BY THE TACOMA TINES PUBLISHING
COMPANY.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

BUTT, military aide, Is advertising
odashoned
aside, wrong
the wash?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16

a cabinet One of those fake affairs. Ii
the spirit mediums use?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1911-05-16
JOSH WISE

JOSH WISE
SAYS:
Bun SniZer's
campin' trip wuz
spilled fer him.
He eats with q
knife, an the
boys forgot an
brought o n l y
forks"
The evening world., 1911-08-31

Duran. ". =. .r. ~inn~. De, together.
hrothsn, and .snd n votes. ,xn
b. r. o. Ei.Ks No. I.
tn. sI + K. ' r so; ss' Ne az, W. ..i.r go e. G sss T. ' sSi%
offered By "RO.rin, nnl' ssii.ss ,o q, a., a.,s I ,"r :
s a,es bundle nHs' ., S SIpss i Fria.y. 4. 1. BSSo1cKwAY..
Dispatcher. Il. X, T., Coney Island Depot
Inclosed please find 1900 votes for Moe IT,
B.ron. ths psIt King o. The M'rdi or"' ITO"
josEpT a. DuRKINL
Chairman Campaign Committee.
Incio.ed find 200 votes for Mrs. William p.
Role. Much sTsdi, !. due 10 ID. wife. who, Is one
of the most popular ladis. IN ~. borough, her
i ni.a, d ssSSs:saa.' q Fer friends " : s"9'i, ,sr, N' She |. /:
I Ps.s hi Hs,, .ss..l Bowling n%. s. G'1 Rs,. g, r ,Ss p%r .st ne'S q
M ",s ss::ssi H., q aa Nj; si'7 S... 81; S,,s Nam" :sa
70 aoR have he ss'e queen 10" q he Msrdi Or Ti:. one of their
xIuttoiIuJsst HERMAN. WILLIAM II. GROUSE.
and HERMAN STERN. Marathon Club Com.
Find ,nelo..d 400 vote. 70, J.mss 4. Kelsey
for King :; so Il; i isSSJsE ''' HHES$ $iis3 rs CLUB
~lnclosed find 100 votes for our old friend and
i sf.... p. at sc. i Ss,ss' he a.h name y; ,1 %as' *. %s .ssi !
We Ar going TO make him King Of Msrdi 0rn.
Trusting that you Will comply Win our. wtsheo IN
mem q sS.' f M 'G F1seinss. osT :sisss. S:nh.s:
tan.
Credit 70 Anton Dshlssndsr. F.Imep' clyb. 100
.SSsh. "0 100 ~ from s'n' kdIsgI I ssSi.: si'p IT, md %
David MORGAN. s~scrstary.
lnclosed find ~sixty-two votes for Louis Freidel,
the Republican leader Of our district,
BOYS AND GIRLS OF STREET.
Vote good and often, with nothing aboard.
A. the gasoline tank with wine Will be stored.
Whion will last all night. so let's be Jolly,
And II anything Is short II will be ny to kolls.
] vote twenty-ninr for q Jolly good skate.
Send more than this and don't try 10 fake.
But ", hnow you're not this kind. and blur nsves
throw,
30 send them In quick and plenty more show.
Then line up, old man.
And Join koilc's clan.
We've outlined It all, you know the plan
30 don't be among those who also ran.
A VOTER. But No JOKER.
lnclossd find 80 votes for our candidate. John
2, Blake. We are Just starting 70 make the Others
wHAIEN BROS. EMPLOYEES.
Inclosed find eighteen votes for Conrad stuben.
bord from q. OF GOLDEN RULE.
Plene credit the incloscd thirty -four votes 10
EDWARD q, Smith. who ought to be the next
King o. Marii Gras, AS he is a FOLLY good fellow.
KID LlTTIE JEFF ASSOCIATION,
Frank u. Ankelen. President,
Martin G. Baur. Treasurer.
Kindly credit. these eleven votes to a persona
friend OF ours. James A.. Kelsey.
HbRMAN ApELEA ASSOCIATION,
George kronche, Financial Secretary.
'redit these twelve votes To \. II. Yarcnda.
kHELER SOCIAL CLUB,
The evening world., 1911-08-31
REVENUE CUTTERS
SEARCH FOR WRECK.
Crews Taken Of Three Disabled
Schooners-City of Memphis,
Floated, Safe in Port.

WASHINGTON. Aug. 3i.-Five reve-
hue cutters are searching the Atlantic
coast from New York to Florida for
disabled vessels.
The storm has damaged sixteen build
ings at Fort Moultrie, 3. c. Every roof
at the Port Royal. 8. c.. Naval station
has been blown on.
Five members Of the crew OF the
three-masted schooner Bessie Whiting.
dismasted and waterlogged Of the
Georgia coast. have arrived Mt Jack
sonville, Fla. They reported being
picked up at sea by the steamer Ligo-
nier. Captain Lowry Of the Whiting.
his wife and the steward refused to be
taken of. and revenue cutters are on
the lookout for the vessel.
The Seminole 10 searching for the
schooner Fortuna. which has aboard
her captain. his wife cook. her
crew having been taken of by the tank
steamer Ligonier. The crew has been
rescued from the schooner Charles II.
Valentine, near the Cape Fear bar.
The City of Memphis. ashore OF Sa-
vannah. has been fioated n IL safe at
that port. The Sa ratoga. from New
York, has arrived at Havana. Three Of
her crew were injured In the gale.
The evening world., 1911-08-31
SIX MAY REIGN
WITH CURRAN AS
QUEENS OF CONEY
He Expects to Be Carnival
King and Has Selected a
Partner for Each Night.
WIFE DECLINED HONOR.
But She Will Appear in Pony
Section of Mardi Gras
Parade.
WIFE DECLINED n
VOTE TO DATE FOR
KING OF THE C0NEY
MARDl GRAS CARNIVAL.

Candidates must be nominated
to the Mardi Gras Association
ana accepted as candidates by
the Nominating Committee Of
the association. No others will
be recognized by The Evening
World.
Nomina tons closed Saturday.
Aug. 2s. Contest closes Thurs
day. Sept. 4. At ~ o'clock noon.
No votes will be received after
that hour.
The evening world., 1911-08-31
OFFICIAL NOMINEES.

W ASlAll ohl bFo.
~. y. xolls, Quartet Club .le,oea
). ;. XSwSs, Glencoe 4. 49,. 1855
4. =. Ysoenda, Panama 4. o.. 6,aa4
Anton Dshjhsndsr, Warmers
Olub 6,704
Noe =. Baron, Moe Baron
Assn .......'............. s,oos
John J. Curran, Ir1sh-Am. 4. A. 4,e42
=. q. Smith, Algonquin Club. l,783
q. Franz Croissant, 4. 4. A.. 76o
james J. opsiman, !. J. Spell
man Ao1'n. 90
James 4. Kelsey. John Ennis
Dem. Club. 473
John o. Blake, Whalsn Bros. <Yo
John J. xioksy, Soc. OLD y. z. +os
James =. Curtin, Thea. y. 4. -3s
Louis Yrsidsl, Lincoln League. l63
Conrad otubsnbord, o. x...... 100
August Won Xasssln, OasnGsr-
buud -
0haxlss =. 0orham, Alpha
0a0a Phi FRAT. .......... 10
9uSh 1ssssl, Ger. OF. 1saSus. ~
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-05-06
DsEDs REooRDED.

,Davis-E4ornor Company to Jase
Flerez, ] lot. Grasselli-
], HoFnor DAVIS TO Julia 81 RqIll-
ertson. i lot. Glen Moore, city
Onion land cohpans q Joh1
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-05-06
salem.
News Paragraphs Of Interest
Sent in from the Second
City of the County.

ssAIE:M. May 6.-Thc Salem pup
Uc sehools closed this week. The
Term has been most successful one.
The w. c. T. U. held very
,I.asant reception for the teachers
Of the college and public schools at
lteh home OF the president, Mrs. G.
II. Trainer. Tuesday evening. Dainty
refreshments were served to seventy
Eve persons. Miss sewall. travelling
secretary OF the W, c. a. was an
.honored guest CT the evening.
clete Randolph Is at ST. Louis
where he will meet his brother with
a car load OF horses and return win
them to Salem. where they wih be
for sale.
John Long and children spent sat
urday at the county seat calling on
Miss Mary Madaline Reese is
hire from Ringwood visiting her
grandmother. Mrs. Tim BurdIck.
Fir1nin Payne, Of West Railroad
street. who has been very poorly
with pneumonia fever. Is better at
this writing.
George n. Jessie. Of washington,
d. C., is here in the interest Of oil
and gas lands.
L. d. Lowther and Miss Blsie Bond
attended the Sunday school conven-
ton at Parkersburg this week.
DR.. l. S. Kennedy is building a
new residence on his home lot J.
c. Richards. OF Clarksburg, has the
contract.
Frank Pride. Ira Williams, Norval
Ryan. Dr. s. W. strother, Misses
Sadie Judge. Ercie Gains, Lou Tommy
and Julia Devaney were among the
many visitors at the county seat
his week.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1911-05-06

Hold sions Oak
land nd

i6H Snnc ne q ~
IeSsny C,ohfersnce. 81 lhe ileFa
synod 81 Afafyitld win meet q
50 Nlark's trin church q 9 ~
land. va. ohdss nieht
Eo'coiel1 The isnt mem te,rel efs
VIII lie repre- ented by the REV.
q. Hay. rs pastor who viii leaie
for oa1risnd Monday afternoon.
He & on the program for ~
dress. The ofHeers of tae c9piet
enee are the Rev. A. f. Richard sqn
a.. Grafton. president the Rev.
K. Prdbst, Of Fa.rmont, vice presi-
dent; and the REV. w. Eds2E
Pieree. of CUmberland, seeret9
treasurer. There are nineteen MIN
isters or the church who are mem
ibers OF the conferences. The pro-
gram Will be as follows:
Monday Evening.
5000 Opening Sermon, the Key.
Of. L. Enderss
Conference oRering and notices.
Tnnesday Morning.
s:OO-Devotiona half hour the
Rev. John BTubaker, D. y.
9:3o-opcn.ng OF Conference
election OF ofieers and business.
Tuesday Afterhoon.
2: Oo-Address, ta) The Pray,nE
Church the Rev. L. k. Proost,
2so cb) THE working
Church, the Rev. J. A. Dunlap.
PHI D.
5000 ssThe church and the
chfldren,r the Rev. E. G. Hay.
s:S01AIt. Lake Reunion, Young
Lutheran, Conference Missions.
Tuesday Evening.
.oo-sernon, /. d. Woman.
Conference offering and notices
wednesday Morning.
e:Oo-DeyotionaI halt hour, the
Rev. Will.am Il. Berry.
Report OF committees. Ia New
synod; OBJ church Federation.
"wednesday AfCeFnoon
o. 6OZlA ldfegs, The Relation OF
The Church to Civic Rishteousness'
the REV. c. P. IICstian.
.3O-Address. THE Bible in the
.lome.-, the Rev. r. II. c+.ssman.
3:oOIThe Three Hundredth AM
n:verssTy OF the Authorized version
o. Tue B gtle,r the REV. John Bru-
,,5iicr. D. D.
IYrdne day Ev ming.
S:Oa- .4idress ny Dr. w A. Gran
VIE. president o. Pennsy -vanta COZ
-ese. t;e..y-;@. :ur.s. a Lutheran insti-
futon now the seyenty-ninth
vear .. Is history. with an enroll
mont rs over 500 students.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1911-05-11
Strain Too Great.

John Hays Hammond, mining engi-
necr and president of the Republican
League OF Clubs, once paid five dol
FAIRS for shave, and he did It at a
time wheA he was not worth much
money. He was married in a small
town in Maryland, and arrived there
the morning before the ceremony
after dash across the continent. One
of the things he carried with him
into the town was q thick but unorna-
mental growth Of whiskers, and one
thing he did not have was a razor.
His search for a barber resulted in
the discovery of the only one in town,
an o. negro who had been imbibing
too freely for several days. AS a re-
suit Of intemperance. the tonsorial ar
list was shaking like an aspen leaf In
q gale.
Look here," said Hammond. you
are going TO shave me. II you so much
as make a nick in my face, I'll cut
your throat! II you don't cut me, I'll
give you Eve dollars"
The barber. after much effort, agony
and tremor. nnished the shave sue
cessfully. But the strain was too
great for him. Just as his hand closed
on the fve-dollar note, he tainted
away.-The Sunday Magazine.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1911-05-11
WOMAN GRATEFUL TO EVANS.
Life Saved BY Outlaw at Cost OF
Capture.

Sacramento, Cal.-When Chris Ev-
ans, train robber, stepped out of the
Folsom prison a free man, Warden
Reilley handed him package contain
ing an old fashioned gold signet ring.
Accompanying it was a note written
in a feminine hand wishing him God
speed into his new life.
This was the sequel to an incident
that occurred in Evans life when he
was a fugitive from justice, being
tracked by men and bloodhounds. 1t
was the reward of woman whose life
Evans had saved.
Following Evans escape from the
Visalia Jail, he stayed one night at a
tent in the backwoods occupied by a
wood cutter and his wife, the wife
lying sick on the bed. The rude shell
ter leaked snow and rain, while few
rods away stood comfortable noun
tain cabin boarded up for the winter.
The owner of the cabin had asked
the husband to take care of it but had
commanded him not to enter the place.
Evans commanded the husband at the
muzzle of rifle to break open the
cabin and make his wife comfortable
there. Evans and his companion
spent the night in the tent.
That act saved the woman's life and
made Chris Evans capture easy for
the pursuing posse. The bitter cold
of the night spent in the tent so weak
ened Evans that he was an easy prey
the next day.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1911-05-11
Powers VIII ousIl Riots.

Hongkong-British bluejackets and
marines with rapid fire guns have
landed in Canton from four warships
to quell the Chinese rioters there if
any attempts are made against foreign
residents or property. The guns are
posted along the canal bank which
bounds the foreign concessions, ready
to open fire at the first sign of trouble.
Besides the four British warships, two
American and one German gunboat
and two French warships are ready to
open on the Chinese rebels. No Amer
leans have been injured.