davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1911-06-04
ono one Of the handsomest residences

Corporation Commissioner Lee is
back from Washington. where he went
TO confer direct with the Southern
Railway officials relative to changes in
the Western Carolina train schedules,
involving Waynesville. Asheville and
other points and the Goldsboro con-
nections from Wilmington 10 Asheviiic
in the early morning. which were in
danger of being broken by scneduic
changes.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1911-06-04
BoY FIDDLER PERFORMS
BEFORE GERMAN EMPEROR

[speciai Gable 10 The Times-Dispatchl
London June 3.-One OF the most
picturesque incidents in connection
With the * alscr's visit TO London was
performance before His Imperial Ma
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1911-06-04

Victor Records for June. ,
The big features on the Victor re-
cord June list are Alma Gluck's rendi-
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01
sATAN'S SONS AND DAUGHTERS.

:, Word comes from aagerstoWn
Maryland, that a gang of soulless
snoligosters in the shape of human
beings held regular breakdown
shindig and double-geared dance in
a graveyard at that place one night
recently
1t seems that some of the fast
bucks and buckesses tanked up on
red-eye and other delightful dopes
till they lost what little conscience
they ever had and felt able to fight
Kansas cyclone or drive the devil
out of his den
And in that glorious state of mind
and body they wended their way to
the old graveyard where their good
old ancestors were resting under the
sod. They hung lanterns on the
monuments to cast dim glimmer
over the awful scene, and they lock-
ed arms and crow-hopped it over
the grassy mounds till the place
"OOAANO 1AhO WhC1C q tItUC vi Save
Indians had held war-dance.
When this shameful performance
was discovered by the decent citizens
OF the community, there was some
thing else doing. They called on the
officers of the law to take charge OF
the gay young heather, and if they
DON'T make them see stars they will
fail to do their duty. Such set OF
Wild and woody barbarians ought to
be stripped as naked as Adam and
cow-hided till their miserable car
casses wouldn't hold shucks. And
then they ought to be put in the per
and made to work eighteen hours {
cay making white oak paddles to bt
worn out over their western hemi
spheres.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01
MoRAvIAN FALLS NORTH CAROLINA. SEPTEMBER 1911.

best Teller: Squeeze Me To Your
Liver, Kid, For I'm Your Mustard
Plaster. ~ If that don't get him
she'll have a perfect right to hit him
with an axe.
These are just few samples Of
the catchy, popular titles that we
can furnish you on short notice.
Special rates on carload lots.
q Don't put your songs in the fire
where they ought to gobut rake up
$25 for each one and send them to
sas. Before sealing your letter be
careful to see that the money is en-
CLOSED. It really don't matter so
much about the songs they can go
TO the devil for all we care, Addre So:
Catchum & Skinum, Music Publish
ers. Chicago, What-a-noise
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01
VOL. ii.
SONG OF DISSOLUTION.

You may dissolve old Standard Oil,
You may kill it if you will;
But the same old Johndee gang
Will run the business still.
A little change in the method,
A slight reform in the name,
But the same old John in the saddle,
And the motive power the same.
So don't you get too happy
And think the millennium's come;
For Standard Oil will be your light
For some time vet. by gum!
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01
o. HELL.

Hold on there-don't look at me
IN that awful tone of voice. May
be you think I've lost my religion
and gone to cussing, but | amt.
The above heading is simply the
name of a merchant who lives in
Brooklyn, New York, or else the
newspapers have lied. And you
surely don't think that a newspaper
would be guilty of telling a fib. 1t
is stated that O. He'll and his father,
old man Billy He'll, are about to open
up candy store in Brooklyn. And
| understand that Mr.. He'll has PEI
titioned the court to change his
name to Hill, as it never would do
to. tell the folks to go to Hell for
their candy.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01
HELLO, SONG WRITER'S!

Say, chicks, why don't you get
rich? There is no longer any ex-ss
cuse for being poor. We have per-
fected a plan that gives every per-.
son chance
You can make just dead oodlinsl
of money writing songs and song.
poems. The rottener they are the
better. A grand prize of fifteen
cents will be given to the gink who
can carve out song that stinks|
worse than the rest of the rot.
|, You may think you can't write a
popular song but that's where your
thinker steps on itself. Anybody who
can peel 'taters can write a popular
song. Any song or song poem that
|is accompanied By $35s ii hard claink
will be ALFRED popular with US.
We don't care whether it rhymes or
measures or has any sense to it or
not. You can trim your toe-nails
and send us the trimmings, together
with $35, and we will guarantee to
make popular song out of 'em.
The $35 is what counts.
Don't get the idea that we are go-
ing to make you rich and famous
| just for our ilealth-not by a jug
full. The truth is, we've bought the
United States government on the in
stallment plan, and we've just got
| to have your money to pay for it
with. We can furnish you all
the references you want as to our
crOokedness, and we will forfeit five
cents worth of smoking tobacco to
anybody who can prove that we are
honest.
! There are lots of red-hOt titles fOl
songs that no fool has yet thought
/ of, and we'll just hand you few
/ samples to go by. Dig up your
/ thirty-fiye plunks and then write
your song to one of these titles:
TITS awful to be Bald-H Headed in Fly
Time''-this one would make a big
: = Is ~
hit with the old maids so touching
and heart-rending in it's tenderness
Shooting Marbles With Grandma's
Glass Eye" here's, a honey cooler
and don't you forget it. "Swat, Swat
Little Fly, That's Swat You Are
/ isn't that cute? Dogged if we don
i think it's almost too good to publish
j but send along your money and wei
i risk it. And this one: Red Eye,
1 Sal, She's My Gal, and I'm Her Lem
on Ade.' Money put into that som
would be safer than in the bank
Here's one Of those light, airy, fairy
! i fantastic titles suitable for a youn
lady to reel off in the presense Of he
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01

Do good, and the papers won't
mention your name to save your life.
But go and commit some crime, and
you will get "a doub1e-column scare
head on the front page, That's the
kind of a hang taxed premium that
the newspapers put on rascality.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01
A MATRIMONIAL DOG-FALL..
NO. 9.

Bless my time! What messes they
do have up in SWelldom! It's enough
to make a turkey buzzard throw up
his dinner Of dead boss,
Whenever two of these uppity no.
bodies take notion to claw sfleas
under the same quilt they have to
make more fuss about it than
thousand old women at quilting.
D Now for the past month or so the
papers have been full Of that Astor-
Force matrimonial farce, and if the
horses didn't laugh it was because
they didn't read the newspapers.
There was once a John Jacob As
tor who would sorter do, but he gave
his money and bis name to !: he thing
that haa sad beth
] don't know how many times John
Jake and his present honey-gal had
been married before their goo-goo
eyes rested on each other, but I think
they had both been hitched and un-
hitched nearly as many times as a
plantation mule.
And so they got the glad rags
ready and sent for a long-coated
Reverend to say the tie-up words.
But the good man held his nose and
begged to be excused. Then John
Jake reached down in the neighbor-
hood of his groin and fshed out $500
and shook it at the preacher. But
the preacher, who seemed to have a
little self-respect, quietly Informed
the shameless couple that $500 in
spondulix was no inducement for him
to mix up in such a mess. Therefore
John Jake and his jangle-jointed
jularkie shouldered their dough and
their duds and hit the high places in
search of another sky-pilot. At last
they found one who had lost his
smeller and couldn't see good, and
they finally persuaded him to take
the job and the money. They told
him not to tie it very hard, as they
might want to get it loose next week.
And so John Jake and Flubbydub
Force were pronounced hub and
honey until one day after date.
| And that's the sort of matrimonial
dog falls they have up there in the
rotten realm of social snobocracy.
How would you like to be one Of
that gang?
Gul-lup, gr-r-rau- hookup! Oh, dc
| bring me something to vomit in
lquick!.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01

This old life is nothing but game
OF grab and run. Did that fact ever
nit you in the solar complexion?
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01

Amt it awful funny to think about
how dearly the dog does love the
rabbit? Say, Rube, the silk-hatted
p1ute loves you just like that.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01
'TATERS.

O 'taters, I love you,
But we must part;
Three prices a peck
Would break my heart.
Elam's Olio.
The heart wouldn't matter,
But what's still worse,
Such prices for 'taters
Would break my purse.
Pearson.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-09-01

One of the most sickening sights
4 ever saw is to see full grown man
smoking cigarettes.
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
STRAY DOG CLUE TO
BOY DOWN MANHOLE
Youngster Receivers Aftel
Two Hours in Icy Waters
of Sewer.

NEW YORK, March s.-When four
year-old Eddie Burrell rubbed his
eyes open in Presbyterian Hospital
this morning he at last made up his
mind that he was alive despite the
fact that he fell into a sewer under
East Eighty-sixth street and lay in
the icy water there for more than
two hours. Eddie had his eyes closed
when Sergeant Mulhall, of the harbor
police. brought him out OF the dark
tunnel through the manhole into the
brightness of day yesterday. He
thought he was dead and he was act
Ing the proper. way. Only many mas-
sages and several administrations of
warming. life-bringing foods and drinks
have thoroughly convinced him that he
il alive.
1t was hard to convince Eddie's
papa and mamma, too. His mamma
and a friend, going out to call, took
Eddie along. They missed him at a
corner OF Eighty-sixth street and East
End avenue. He disappeared. The
only breaks in the immediate land
scape were a street cleaner, who had
not seen any little boy, and a stray
dog looking interestedly into an open
manhole. The interested dog told the
story. In a little more than an hour,
policemen, street cleaners and in
spectors, with ropes. ladders and Ian
terms, had found Eddie. His father
took him into his arms and prayed
over him. His mother cried over him.
The hospital surgeons rubbed alcohol
over him; The stray dog ceased to be
interested.
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
DIRECT ELECTION
OUTLOOK BRIGHT
Leaders of Fight Believe
Chances Good During
. Extra Session.

Senator Borah OF Idaho and other
Senators who have been conspicuous
in the fight for direct election of Sena-
tors believe that it will be possible to
secure the passage of a resolution for
the submission OF a constitutional
amendment at the extra session of Con-
gress.
They have been looking the ground
over, and consider that tile strength Of
such a resolution in the Senate has ma
terially increased since the short ses-
sion.
The reason for this is found in the
retirement of a number of reactionary
Senators who have for years fought
desperately against direct election of
Senators. and the advent of new men
Of more liberal views.
A net gain for the resolution of about
twelve votes is depended on. This would
be more than sufficient to pass 1t and
give it the necessary two-thirds of the
Senate When the test on the resolution
was had in the Senate some days ago,
in spite of the Sutherland amendment.
giving Federal control of Senatorial
elections, it needed but few more votes
to put ii through.
Senator Borah has been in conference
with Senator Bacon and others on the
Judiciary Committee who are for the
resolution. 1t will be slightly amended
and reintroduced at the outset of the
session.
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
Lawns.

S eer and with
French figures, in new
designs and colors.
Standard at IL 12c yard.
Special sale o.
price ............ w
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
DAN CUPID WINNER
FROM FATHER TINE
Aged Jeweler of Orange
Comes to District to Be
Married.

Cupid is laughing at Father Time to.
day over his latest romantic achieve
ment in the wedding today at the par
Sonage of the Hamline Methodist Epis-
copal Church Of William Henry Hail,
4 prominent and wealthy jeweler of
Orange, N. J., and Miss Eva Alvira
Daum, also prominent in social circles
of Orange.
Hall is seventy years Of age and his
bride is thirty-eight, their marriage be-
ing the elimination of lifelong acquaint-
ance and friendship.
Hall and his bride came to Washing
ton this morning, and were quietly
married without the knowledge of but
a few friends and relatives in WASH
inGton and Orange.
The ceremony was performed by the
Rev. Joseph NJ. NJ. Gray, pastor OF
Hamline Church, the brides brother,
Frederick E. Daum, and her sister-in-
law. being the only attendants.
Despite his years and crown OF snow
white hair, Hall bore himself as proud
ly as a bridegroom of one-third his age.
The bride was attractively gowned in
q travelling suit. After a brief visit
with relatives Of the bride at 1902 Ken
yQn street, the couple will return to
make their home at Orange.
The aged bridegroom and his bride
have known each other since childhood,
being dtstantly related. Both have re-
sided at Orange for years, it is report
ed Hall Is a widower, his former wife
having died three years ago.
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
Police Are Looking for
A Supposed Fire Bug

Police of the Fifth precinct, in con-
junction with Fire Marshal Nicholson,
today are Investigating a series of small
fires Of supposed incendiary origin,
which have occurred recently in the
southeast section of the city.
I'm my opinion" said the fire mar
shal, they are being started by some
one who likes to see tn department
respond to an alarm. A short time ago,
there was at least one false alarm sent
in from this part of the section nearly
every night. Now the false alarms have
stopped and we have the incendiary
fires
In almost every instance. the fires
have been in old sheds where the dam
age has been slight and other buildings
not endangered A shed in the rear Of
9O3 East Capitol street was destroyed
about 9 o'clock last night. The police
think the incendary is the one who was
for the false alarms.
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
International Speakers
Will Address Y. M. G. A.

Many speakers of more than national
prominence have been procured for the
Interstate convention of the Y. NJ.
G. A., which is to be held in Washington
next week. Conditions experienced in
establishing the Y. NJ. c. A in other
countries will be discussed bv natives
One of the most prominent speakers
on the program is DR.. T. A. Steiner, of
Grinnen, Iowa, a Christian Jew, who
recently accompanied a student body to
Europe to study social conditions. He is
president of the Grinnell College. The
day sessions of the convention will be
held in ST Johns Episcopal Church
The banquet will be at Rauscher's Tues
day evening. The big platform meeting
will be in the hall Of the Daughters of
the American Revolution.
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
Irish Author Will Wed
Daughter of Venezuela

NEW YORK, March S.-Seumas Mac
manus. the well-known Irish author,
has announced his engagement to Miss
Catalina Violente Paez, daughter Of
Ramon P9eZ, of Venezuela.
Mr.. Macmanus is forty-two years old,
and was borI at Mt. Charles. Ireland.
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
Change Place of Lecture.

The Young Women's Christian Asso-
ciation has announced that the lecture
on What Every Woman Should Know
About Insurance" will be delivered by
Leroy Goff in the association rooms in
stead Of in the hall of the Chamber of
Commerce, as formerly stated. The lee
ture will commence at S o'clock this
evening. All women are cordially IN
Vited
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
Reports Valuable Bag
Is Stolen From Hotel

The theft of Venetian gold bead bag
valued at 800 from a room at the Eb-
bitt House has been reported to the DO
lice of the First precinct by R. G.
Burke, the manager. The bag was
stolen some time during the last week.
The Washington times., 1911-03-08

This new wash fabric
of 1911 is to be a
standard at 12kc per
yard. Special 10o
sale price ...... 1VN
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
Leaps Two Thousand Feet
To Death Down Shaft

BUTTE, Mont, March S.-Thomas
Hendrickson, aged twenty-six, a miner,
chose a method for suicide that is un-
paralleled in the history of this camp.
leaping 200 feet into the bowels Of the
earth to his death.
The Washington times., 1911-03-08
Ginghan.

Newly b e a u t | full
shades of best colors,
warranted sun and
waterproof. Standard
at 10c yard. Spe- In
cial sale price. -. ~
The Greeley tribune., 1911-07-13

for a two months visit with rela-
tives on the western coast. Mrs.
Huffsmith will remain in Evans dur
ing his absence.
Mr.. and Mrs. Carl Gooch motored
over from Loveland yesterday to
spend some time in LaSalle with
Mr.. and Mrs. George Briggs.
Mr.. Westfal of south and east of
LaSalle who has been quite sick is
improving in the Greeley hospital.
The Carlson restaurant building
is being completed this week. The
plate front glass is in place and the
building will be ready for occupancy
today.
8. J. Long Of the Hubert Maya
zine Of Seattle passed through La
Sale Friday evening on a walking
tour to Galveston. He started from
Seattle on April 1st with no money
and expects to reach Galveston by
October Is in the same financial
condition. The trip is made on a
$4,000 wager. He has been accom-
panied from Green River. Wyo.. bv
F. P. Jennings who will be with
him the remainder Of the trip-Op-
timist.
John p. Klug shipped a car load
Of hogs from this neighborhood to
Denver this week. This ia the first
shipment to be made from here this
summer and is considered a good
showing for the cattle raising mos
sibilities of LaSalle.
Considerable activity in tho
bridge building line has sprung nm
In LaSalle this week. Over half n
million feet Of lumber is being un-
loaded and hauled from here to the
camps of w. G. Briggs Of Fort
Morgan and John Unter of Denver.
who have over 150 bridges to build
over the irrigation ditches near
here.
The Greeley tribune., 1911-07-13

spent almost week celebrating in
Denver, returned home Friday.
After a few days business trip to
Denver, Edward ]. Smith is again
busy with his big crop. He has one
hundred acres of mlllet besides a
large acreage of other crops.
Miss Rose Spannan after spending
several months in Denver has re-
turned to her homestead.
NJ. c. Fischbierk spent the waek
end with his wife who is in Boulder.
His brother, Tom, was in charge of
the store during his absence,
After two weeks visit in Grae-
ley and Ft. Morgan, Mrs. W. W.
Lorimer returned, accompanied Inv
her mother. Mrs. j. S. seybold
Mr.. and Mrs. F. w. Bird and
children visited in Gill SATURDAY. and
Sunday. anu
Miss Louise Beatty of Grover
spent last week visiting friends IN
Denver and Greeley.
Mrs. Cora Bailey returned Fr,dev .
from weeks visit in Boulder NJ
Bailey remained for a few dane .
with his mother. u"''
The Greeley tribune., 1911-07-13
The Delta

Tuesday, July IL.
Delta, July IA large number OF
Delta people are attending the Chautau'
Qua in Greeley this week and report the
affairs Institutional and entertaining.
]. H. Mcconnell who owns paris
green sprinkling machine is sprinkling
potatoes for everyone in the neighbor-
hood.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harrington have left for
the mountains where they will spend the
month rusticating.
Mrs. Beahl, who has been visiting her
brother, Frank Meeker, and family, at
Pleasant Valley, has returned to Delta
and will spend some time now as the
guest of Mrs. Yerion.
The Greeley tribune., 1911-07-13
HighlanUake

Crops are looking fine in the To-
cality since the recent rains OF about
three inches.
DR.. Dillingham;, of Mead accom-
panied Jack Bishop to Lyons last
week on fishing trip.
Rev. Ladd filed the pulpit here
Sunday morning and evening. Rev.
Blodgett exchanged pulpits with
him.
There has been several fishing
parties here lately although there
are NO boats used on the lake there
has been some good catches made.
Flora Gately visited relatives in
Denver last week. She also enjoy
I'd q trip to Silver Plume the
Fourth.
DR.. Stenerwald of Longmont was
. called here Thursday.
Mrs. Henry Holmes of Longmont
spent the Fourth here.
Don't forget the lawn social on
tho Entwistle lawn this Friday
aight.
Ed Markham and family visited
Sunday in the home Of Geo. Mark
ham in the vicinity of Johnstown.
John Zimbeck of Longmont was a
Mead visitor Thursday.
Mr.. Mayfield of Longmont was
here Thursday.
The Greeley tribune., 1911-07-13
Eaton

Tuesday, July II.
The Sharp Music company em-
ployes played the Eaton regular ball
team here Sunday and the Eatons
we're beaten by a score Of to 3.
The Eaton churches united in a
union meeting here Sunday evening
which several hundred persons at
tended. The services were held in
\ vacant lot, a wagon box was the
pulpit and choir loft and Rev. Kis-
sler was the pastor. There will be
q change of pastors every week dur
ing the months of July and August
while these outdoor exercises are in
progress.
The Greeley tribune., 1911-07-13
Ia Sale

Tuesday, July II.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ross Lyons, Mr. a,d
Mrs. Frank Lyons and Cbas Snss.s az
were guests at the Parker bnma
yesterday. nome
Sid Parker went to Denver
w. c. Moore and Will oni,s tey. ny
real estate men from wv
spent the day in La Sale toao' tlano
their way home from ~ aay on
where they went by auto to inot I,
over some land for sale. W 'ooA
WIN and Ethel Bird, who h.-.
been visiting with Chas. Smith nave
,amily here have returned to th.ir an
Charles Huffsmith leaves to,..
The Greeley tribune., 1911-07-13
GaletOwn

Mrs. F1eber and daughter. Nina,
went to Denver this week to visit
With friends.
Mrs. Kent went to Eaton Monday
to spend q few days with friends.
MI. and Mrs. Carl Lnderburg
spent the fore part Of the week with
friends in Eaton.
Mrs. NJ. v. Carney gave the little
girls in Galetown district = party
this week in honor Of her little
The Greeley tribune., 1911-07-13
GilCest

Saturday. July 8.
Will Hines Of Haigler, Neb., was
visiting his son. Will, jr.. and fam
ily for few days.
Mrs. Hall was suddenly called to
the sick bed OF her father at Num-.
Mr.. and Mrs. H. w. Heighton
spent Thursday in Greeley.
Mr.. and Mrs. Claude Henltne
spent two days in Denver this week.
Born, July 1, to Mr.. and Mrs. J..
II. Rogers. a baby girl.
Robert Hines, who was very re-
nsntly operated on in Denver Is get
ting along nicely.
Mr.. and Mrs. r. H. P. Keller
spent Monday in Greeley on busi-
Frank Hammond left the first
part Of the week for his old home
1t Atlanta, Neb.