Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-08-03
The President
and the Cranks

rom tIe 7 nllaIel!lilla Ledger.
IT. the one best l,et That the president
- the most worried man i'm The United
States said an attache at the Whit
House between whites, and it's not Cana
Juan Gfcil rocitv treaties and tariff bills
and stch Ike big things that cause tn.
worry. That's his business; he was elect.
cd hrcaiis" he was fitted to wvestle witt
just TINT sort of work, and of course hS
expects it.
but it's the cranks that furnish him
his real. 'pestcrins' worries: cqanks on
All manner of subjects from all parts oil
the union. Every crank in the country
that doesn't know what fool thing to do
wita himself gets on the train and tells
the conductor to put him off at Washing.
ton-thinks he must see the president. IL
the wheels N the head of some lunatic .r
i'ansor. Me, or Tombstone, Ariz., get to
W"rkins overtime he heads for Washing.
~ to show the president the mechanism.
III Soc long-haired lunatic in Oshkosh
builds wheelbntrow out of "A soap box
and Il : fter rim he won't be happy till he's
trundled L. cross country to Washington
anA has TIE president come out ON the
'front.' porch To look at II.
Every su1mmer before the president
ieaves. there's Il perfect deluse OF cranks
That have RIDDEN horseback from Dawson
''fN IN driven am OK team from some
sase-brush town out beyond the Rockies.
cN'> "a o'SN WE HdN TWO OF (NeSe lulOtS
IN one day-tliree. to be exact. One was
a man riding a burro from San Diego to
Boston on a bet, and the other two were
u man and his wife from some insane
place out west. They had sworn on the
bones OF the saints or something that
they would walk into every state in the
union within a l2-month: they had al
ready been In II. and having thus &C.
CURED fame. came to Washington to show.
themselves to the president.
Then there's the lunatic who tramps
srross country on a wager that he can 20
from ocean to ocean on a dollar and 81
cents. There must be a hundred OF him
every year, and he generally brings a let.
Ter to the president from the mayor Of the
little cow-town he comes from. And thess
are just IA few of them; IL I'D put down the
names of all this breed OF cranks that turn
UP mere 10 see the president in six month";
1t would be longer than the list OF appli,
cants for a vacant consulship.
The trouble Is. the president, in many
instances. can't get out OF seeing the
crank. With the cunning OF his kind, hs
generally goes straight to one OF the local
papers. The paper takes him up, prints
Wis photograph. and publishes hts vain
glorious interview about his eccentricities.
IN which he always states that he's coins
TO see the president at a certain time. It's
wired to every paper In the state the luna,
W. VIC Wosu.hStoH CUT
respondents. and. of course. printed there.
!f the president refuses to see the crank.
mats wired. too. and then the papers have
q chance to fall afoul of the administra-
ton and howl about the man whose
naughty exclusiyeness misrepresents the
great democratic spirit OF the nation-
which doesn't help Il man any in a politi,
sal way. SO. oftentimes. the president
must take his mind from important mat.
ters to shake hands with some paretic'
Who ought to be over in st. Elizabeth',
insane asylum instead of buzzing around
. busy president. Yes. he's a much wor,
lied man"