davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-06-24

Y see." said the stage-struck youth,
as he sttfed a yawn, that the Hari-
Kari troupe OF Imperial Acrobats, are
going to close this week and loaf all
summer. l always thought that they
played the circuses during the summer
months
80 they used" said the stage door
keeper. but they've had a good sea-
son and feel. like loafng. Then again
home ties are strong with them. and
the whole nine are going back to see
the old folks and put flowers on the
graves OF their ancestors.
Two to Indiana
Two of EN- leave tonight for Logans-
port, Indiana, where they were born.
MCGUIRE, the little Jap who jumps
from the top of the pyramid. told me
that his father was the leading drug
gist there, and that he was going home
to clerk in the store this summer and
take the rest of his Masonic degrees.
His brother Is goin' along to court one
of those cornfed Indiana girls, and l
suppose that next season well see 'em
dotp' black face song and dance
Mcpherson and McSwatt are goin'
to take a cattle boat over to Scotland.
The Washington times., 1911-06-24

thing very like suspicion. 1t WAS sus-
picion. She was a country girl. fair
as the flow'rs that bloom by the spring,
and she had heard much of young city
men who force acquaintance with city
girls by just such methods.
"I dropped my handkerchief" she
asked, doubtfully.
Yes" he responded, smiling so that
two gold teeth sAone pleasantly in the
sunlight You let IL fall" He seemed
q nice young man.
My handkerchief"
Exactly. To put it vulgarly, your
mouchoir."
Il don't believe you" she cried, and
ran around the corner, where she
searched and found that she had really
dropped her hanky. And there was
four cents tied in the corner Of It! She
ran back, but the young man had dis
appeared. So, Of course, she did not
marry him.
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
ACCORDING TO SAMMY

hat. Ma gave Mrs. Jones an orful
look and Mrs. Jones gave Ma an orful
look. jest like cats befoar the fite
starts.
Well, Of awl things. sed Ma she must
the brazing inpudints.
And wen we got hoam she took awf
the hat and sed to Nora, wioh is our
cook; Nora heres a nice moo hat for
you
Thanks. mum, sed Nora, meening
man.
Pop Is Told
Wen Pop CAIN home Ma told him awl
about 1t and pop dident no weather to
laff or wat, on akkount of him givin
but he sed, Well, I hope Nora likes
1t, bekaus dollirs don't grow on bushes
and there's no moar ware that came
frum.
Enyhow. sed Ma, It will be werth I
dollirs to see Mrs. Joneses Ease wen
she sees Nora with that hat.
Jest then Nora calm in and sed, /
don't want that hat, mum.
wy not, sed Ma
Bekaus, sed Nora, 1 put 1t avn wen
l went erround afttr the milk and who
Joneses waring one exackly like II.
and watts good enuff for that gerl is
not good enuff for me, she sed.
Holy smoak. sed Pop, Mrs. Jones
has gave her hat to her gerl to.
The Washington times., 1911-06-24

Farthir, sed Ma to Pop. at brekfust,
the othir moarning.
Mothir, sed Pop to Ma
I herd that Mrs. Jones tawking ovtr
the fense to Mrs. Hudsin this moarn-
ing. sed Ma, and shes Dragging about
going TO get a moo hat. Is that womin
to get a moo hat evry time she feals
like 1t, vile my only hat is a site to
be hold, sed Ma.
Most assurantly not, sed Pop, heers
dollirs; now see wat you can do with
It.
A Angil
Yure a angil. sed Ma II cant DO
bettir than Mrs. Jones, with her orfl
taist, Ill nevir look enyboddy in the
fase agen.
Mrs. Jones and Mr.. Jones and the
rest Of the Joneses and Pop and Ma
and me and my sister Sue don't speak.
The Joneses are jeIlus Of evrything
we've got, but we amt jellus Of evry-
thing they've got
I went down town with Ma vile she
bawt the hat, wich she did aftir going
in to s stoars and trying avn about a
millyun hats, all kulers and siziz, sum
OF them setting on the back of her he'd
an sum OF them almost avn her eye
brows.
On the way hoam who shood we meat
but Mrs. Jones in her moo hat, and
wat kind Of a hat shood IT be but
exactly like Mas, grean fethir and funny
berd and awl, jest IKE IT was Mas
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
Reddy Smith on
The MeaneSt Trait

Some men, Jimmie, are nice in mos
respects. but in jes' one respec' dey
are de meanest creatures livin!
Did yu ever, notice de quiet lookin'
blond feller wild de panerma. dat
Gums thru de square? He's married,
Jimmie, got uh good wife an mos
wv de time he's uh good husban', but
dere's wun thing uhbout him-if he
can't make ends meet he lays de
blame tn his poor innercent wife.
Dey wus sittin on uh bench by de
stature an l hears dem talkin'. She
uster wurk uver at de Mutual.
afore he married hur. De las pay
she got she give 1t all tu him, to help
wild de marriage expenses. Well, he
give hur his salary each week an
wun week she goes to hur mudder's
home fur uh rest. Dere wus uh little
bill due dat week which she wud
hav' paid had she been home, but not
bein' dere, he pays 1t.
De udder day he wanted tu 60 sum-
where an foun' he wus short IS
dollars NV de price.
Kitten" sez he, ''yoo owe me IS
fur dat bill I paid an II yu give 1t
tn me I'll be able tn CO."
Den she bust right out in tears,
Jimmie, an cried:
Why, joe" she sez, II wuz uh way
de week 700 paid dat bill an 700
paid it out Nv de money dat 700 wud
have give me"'
1t broke hur all up, Jimmie. an it's
uh wunder dat she didn't leave him
on de spot.
OATS de meanest trait in uh man,
Jimmie, an I ain't got no time fur
uh feller dat shifts de blame tu his
wife tu cuver up his own spendinsi
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
SIZE HOLDS 1T UP TO THE
GIRL WHO PRINKS

The others had no time to stop and
tell her what they thought. They
were not ready. mad scramble and
four of them disappeared into the
small room she had enjoyed alone
She could not feel-what a woman
OF more delicacy might-that she had
achieved her toilet at the expense of
her good manners. She was callous
to the fulminations of rage that
sought to wither her as the hurried
women rushed back to their berths
to get into the coats that must cover
a multitude of sartorial sins.
She was the GIRL WHO PRINKS
When the judgment day comes and
the last trump sounds. she will be
putting hairpins in her hair and abb
sorbing all the mirror space about.
She will move to Judgment in apple
pie order outside: but the gross self
ishness, the egotlstic. self-consider-
ing. narrowly vain little nature in
side Of her will get its deserts.
Get Come Up Wifi"
rest of US to think that she will get
But we are hopeless about its hap
pening sooner. She will continue to
take up all the good space before the
glass at parties. She" will still push
other girls into corners while she
puts pins in her belt. She will walk
off with the powder box if she wants
It. Or she will subsidize the only
comb on the dressing table. Oh, yes!
she will be prinking a long time yet!
But she will be being hated, too. I
just wish she would prink so long some
time that a very, very nice man
whom she very much loves would lose
patience and leave her altogether
The judgment day is SUCH a long
way off!
The Washington times., 1911-06-24

but honest dry goods salesman. he
married about a year ago on s. a week
and prospects. He still has the pros
poets, but hear he's been reduced to
IS a week. Yesterday his wife pre-
sented him with triplets! Think Of 1t.
three of a kind on eight bones per!
sproggins pretends to be dckisd to
death, but it's not hard to see that II
he ever gets a swat at this hard world,
he's going to break his knuckles. To
get back to the plot, the postman
couldn k9et anybody to answer the bell
at tbs Rroggins' this morning, so he
left a NaaAse for sproggins with me.
went Sor a time, and told ths
errand give sproggins the pack
age when k passed the store on his
way to the dry, ,godds? And, Of course,
the kid mixJ Vie packages.
He gives oggins a bag with thrss
lemons in Triplets! Wow!
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
Loretta's Looking Glass

horid and speed breaking as women
could deliver buEzed and whirled
about her. But she did not wink.
Indeed. she was serenely Indifferent
to them.
She could afford to be. The train
was rushing through the suburbs. In
ten minutes 1t would be in the sta
tion. And she was superbly ready to
greet the man who would be waiting
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
look the Advice

A father demonstrated with his son,
an Oxford undergraduate, for wasting
his time writing for local papers, and
cited DR.. Johnson as saying that a
man who wrote except for money was
a fool
The son wrote back Immediately:
Il shall follow DR.. Johnson's ad-
vice, and write for money. Please
send me twenty pounds"
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
Equipment For
1911 Vacation
THE BEST AID

Il understand that your wife col
Elaborated with you?"
Yes; her work aids me immensely"
Il don't believe I have ever seen
any of her writings"
She doesn't write; she prepares
my meals"
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
Back to Their Berths

Some of the travellers had scurried
back to their berths and were painfully
inserting themselves into daytime
clothes in the restricted quarters.
With humping heads and wild plung-
ings to catch up with the slits of mir
rors that insuf1ciently decorate the side
Of the car, they were dressing and
anathematizing the being who was con-
fiscating the dressing room and its
facilities.
Maybe she has fainted!" a timid
waiter breathed.
Maybe she hasn't! wish she had!
There would be some excuse for her
holding the fort while we all lose
our hairpins and our tempers! No
indeed! she is Just prinking"'
Then, the door opened. And the
PRINKER emerged.
Her done-to-a-turn appearance was
red rag to the disheveled women
who had waited while she pinned and
powdered and polished. Remarks as
The Washington times., 1911-06-24

"Give fly bad and him know they've en
doin il around house and the wherever
there's anybody that believe what they in the
Two Of Them Invade Mames House
and his brother sneaked by the wachnan and
dnn before the family had got the las night
and did their best break perfectly good meal They're the
first flies een this Belief their
have been maxim m learn read and they know what's good for
e Even before mother spotted EN- this fly and his little brother
seemed felt real sorry for hem though knew
that EN- half chance they'd take pleasure
half million assorted free transportation
n Wa says mother tnereS ny 1et H. SOMEBODY: s IT,
brought little friend with him"
They're libe typhoid EN- mother akin
her napkin and tryin' behind the little while
wasn't ookin.
Flies carryn yellow fever killed of soldiers
than the Spanard did durn the Spanish said father
don his best the big hrowin salt its tail
"Gee' l says lookn around for hapn they look like
Spanards, toor'
1t pretty fight Belle endn CROWN discouraged
and suicide
watchn each other which breaks first
The Washington times., 1911-06-24

MEDIEVAL fortress never resist
q ed the battering rams that were
hurled against 1t by an attack
ing party more persistently than the
door to the dressing room in the
Pullman had withstood the knocking
of angry and kimono-clad women.
At last the porter was besought to
lend his aid. Some one of the lady
travellers had seen a female figure dis
appear into the dressing room half
hour before. She had been waiting
to see it emerge ever since. Her
rat had ceased to be thing to
conceal beneath her garments. draped
over her arm. She watched the IA
miliar signs as the train sped on and
announced to the waiting line OF
furried females just how many miles
they were from Chicago.
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
WhV He Was There

What brought you here?" asked the
prison chaplain.
Youth" said the convict sadly.
Youth? Why you look quite fifty
Not my youth, sir; my lawyers"
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
WHEN NOAH WAS A BOY

He was always making little models
of what he termed arks. His mother
couldn't dope out what they were, for
she read in the Sunday papers about
''houseboats." She swiped the latest
model and crawled right into the style
brigade. There's nothing new under
the sun
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY

LINOLISII JONL ION IODHI
DO you play golf?' he asked the
little lady, as they started off for their
summer run.
Il could try. Of course" she replied,
but I haven't had much experience.
don't think should even know how to
hold my caddy.-The Pink I'm.
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
Our Grocery Clerk
SAYS, Poor Father

We lost a customer today. It's the
errand boy again; when 1t comes to
putting his foot in it, that kids the
original hind leg.
Young Sproggins Is a hard-workins
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
Pardon Me, Miss; Or,
Twas But Too True

"Parding me. but here's your hand
kerchief You dropped IT."
The beautiful young girl turned and
regarded the young man with some
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
Would Return II

Why are you crying. my little man ?'
Cos Jimmy kicked me-"
why don't you kick him back?"
Cos it would only be his turn
again
The Washington times., 1911-06-24

TER fifteen years of absence-years, first of wild
searching, of praying, then of despair and finally
of resignation on the part Of the parents-a man
who ran away from home as boy has come back
to visit his home.
The daily papers have been full of the story, of
the wild joy of the mother, prematurely aged by
longing for her little ad of the prosperity that
now surrounds the son. of promises of joyful years
follow this reunion, while the tale of the boy who
went to sea, then travelled westward and finally
settled. the coast lends glamour of romance
it all.
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
Practical Parents

Anxious Mother Our daughter
hasn't touched an onion for a month.
Anxious Father-Then it's time to
get a dog
The Washington times., 1911-06-24
NJ A ME TELLS BELLE
IF You Want 10 Live
To Ripe Old Age
BEWARE OF THE HOUSE FLY

HAD terrible dream las night, Belle And woke
up shiverin and looked under the bed and in the
closet and on the window panes and everywhere
else fly could hide. Haven't you been readin' In
the papers how it's flies that give you everything
was terrible dream.
How'd you like to be poor little fly, Belle,
born with reputation big enough to wear long
trousers? Il must be an awful handicap to start
life with and don't blame the poor flies for gettin'
discouraged and tryn' to live up to it.
There's an old proverb, Belle, Give dog and
had name and hang him " Thew or1oht n change IL
The Washington times., 1911-06-24

there any love that would
forgive weary other this which could
forget of reunion the anxiety the needless and the
seepess nights days following the boys disappearance
lis wonderful isn't think how much parents will orgive
why boy should have left his
his whereabouts No why he might have
assuaged the anguish Of his mothers heart by telling her where he
why, him and he
older why why
condition where
he holiday" came the old folks
siN alive"
Found Forgiveness, Love and Pride
casually they living and found forgiveness
oy-the the fifteen
of reglect-becaue he was their
Its story ought make all daughters who
wnging back the mother and
thinking of them It's that ought wake lads from
understand which will lead them send
prayer up for that mother who would woman-v
now be o
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-06
PLEASANT PLAINS. Hu0bEAQNn
PRINCE BAY
CALVIN TOMKlNS LISTS
FERRY STRIKE BREAKERS

Calvin Tompkins, Commissioner
of Docks and Ferries, yesterday IN
timated to officers of unions repre-
scented on the Staten Island ferry
boats that his department WAS pre-
pairing a list of men who would be
placed at work On the boats In case
another strike should occur Dur
ing a conference with representa-
tives of engineers and firemen on
the municipal boats yesterday f. w.
Yates, president of the National Ma
rfne Engineers, asked him IL 1t Was
not true that t'berakers' are being
concealed here and that engineers,
lremen and oilers have arrived from
Baltimore to take the place Of the
regular men.
II shall not discuss that question
with you" said Mr.. Tompkins. This
stupid, indefensible strike was repu-
dated by the men and their leaders.
/ intend to be prepared in the fu-
ture to u these ferries without IN
teruption. A distinct threat has
been made to the city that in case
one engineer was dropped from the
pay roll because the budget did not
provide for his salary, there will be
another strike.
II was ~astonished to receive such
a communication from a responsible
set of men. ] have done what any
city official should do have pre-
pared for any contingency. The en-
gineers have lost what standing they
had before the public"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-06
PLEASANT PLAINS

Mrs. Robert Esselborn visited in
Perth Amboy yesterday.
Mrs. Alfred Palmer, OF Tottenvilie,
visited her mother here yesterday.
James O'Rourke and Albert
Staudt called on several friends here
New Years.
Mrs. Frederick Petro visited here
yesterday.
Robert Russell, who crushed his
right hand last week while working
at Michael's Home, is recovering.
Joseph Mangin has returned from
a visit in Manhattan.
Joseph Pruess, the Kreischerville
baker, who has been Ill with pneu-
monia, Is recovering.
Charles Bogardus. Jr., OF Wood
row, was In Tottenvi1le last night.
A meeting of U. s. Grant Lodge,
No. IL, knights of Pythias, was held
In Orlando hall, Rossvil1e, Wedness
day night.
The Bellflower Social Club was en-.
tertained Saturday by Albert Ham
mon at the Oakland.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-06
STATEN ISLAND NEWS
ANNUAL RECEPTION FOR
ST.. VIRCENT'S HOSPITAL

Tickets for the sixth annual re-
ceptfon an aid of st. vincent's Hospi-
tai under the auspices OF the Ladies'
, Auxiliary win be vent out soon, and
the several committees are working
assidueusly in ~perfecting every de-
tail for this annual function.
The German Club rooms, Staple
ton, will be the scene of this de-
lightful reception on Friday even
ing, January 20. The rooms will be
beautifully decorated. The people
! who attend this reception each year
marvel at the transformation
wrought by the decorators, and as a
rule spend some time after arriving
at the hall In admiring the tasteful
artistic effects. This year it Is
planned to make this feature surpass
all former occasions, and the decora-
tors will have their hands full In
making good in this promise.
The music will be by Far Baar,
which is in itself sufficient guaran-
tee that this feature will be up to
the standard. The supper will be
looked after In a careful n by
the committee having that part Of
the arrangements in hand.
The demands or the of
St. Vincent's during the past year
have been unusually heavy, and the
treasury sadly depleted. The annual
reception Is looked forward to by
those In charge to replenish the
treasury, and 1t is the experience OF
those who have managed past af-
fairs that the appeals for aid have
never fallen on ears that were deaf
or failed to bring liberal responses
from charitable people. The good
work accomplished by this hospital
is known to every resident OF Staten
Island, and with that reputation for
responding literally to all calls for
aafd In a worthy purpose, many peo-
pie of Staten Island will take an ae-
tive part in this years reception and
help make it as great a success as
they have those In past years.
The committee wishes 1t distinctly
understood that all people of Staten
Island are invited to attend, for
aside from the financial end of the
affair. 1t Is encouraging to have a
large attendance and thus make the
affair a special success as well.
Mr.. George J. Benziger, the chair
man of the managing committee, is
an energetic worker, and has asso-
ciated with him men like himself
used to doing big things, and who
do them to the entire satisfaction OF
every one. Assisting Mr.. Benziger
are Messrs. Charles f. Hart, Victor
J.. McQuade, Thomas A. Braniff, Al
bert Reynaud, Jr., John ]. Hayes, Jo-
seph H. Maloy, John J. Kenney, Jo-
seph w. Burke, ames H. Clark and
Mnnson G. Shaw
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-06
s. WINCAPAW
INJURIES MAN
Stops Car and Hurries 10
Hospital With Victim.

An automobile belonging to Moses
P. Payne, of 263 Madison avenue
Manhattan, and driven by Sterling
Wincapaw, chauffeur, of Prince Bay,
ran over Eugene Gras, of SOB West
Broadway, at Forty-sixth street,
Forty-sixth street. Gras was
picked up by Wincapaw after the &C
cident and taken to Roosevelt hospf-
tai In the automobile with all posi-
Bile speed.
Gras has three fractured ribs and
internal injuries, and may die. The
chauffeur who was not arrested, told
the police that Gras, while crossing
Broadway in a tangle of machines,
stepped in front of his a The
mud guard struck him and he was
thrown under the forward wheel.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-06
MAIL PAPERS
TO AUSTRALIA
First Shipment of Home
Child is Made.

The first shipment by mail from
the Prince Bay postoflce, Pleasant
Plains, of the paper called the
Homeless Child" printed at the
Mission of the immaculate Virgin,
This shipment, which was consigned
to Australia, was composed OF about
fifty sacks. Another shipment Is be-
ing made today to California and
other points west and what will be
made ready tomorrow will be about
200 sacks for the week.
1t is expected that this years ship
ment of the paper will be even much
greater than last year, when over
500 sacks were sent out to all parts
of the world. Postmaster U. G..
Sprague, Of the local office, Is lgur-
ing on about 1000 sacks in all. Rev.
M. ]. Fitzpatrick, In charge of the
Mission, has prepared to put out over
a million copies of the paper, which
will be much larger than any previ-
Gus time.
AS this paper is one of the greatest
sources OF revenue for the Mission OF
the Immaculate Virgin, those In
charge are much pleased with the
advance that 1t is making through
out the country in its circulation.
The paper Is edited, compiled and
printed by the boys at the institution.
Last year the paper was somewhat
delayed in getting out on account OF
a fire that partly destroyed the print
ing shop at the institution at the
time the paper was about to be print
ed. The work had to be transferred
to Manhattan at that time, which
greatly handicapped the shipping Of
it over the country.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-06
WELCOME COUNCIL D. OF A.
INSTALL ITS OFFICERS

The semi-annual installation Of
ficers of Welcome Council, Daugh-
tiers Of America, of Tottenville, took
place last night at a meeting In
knights of Pythias hall. District
Deputy Mrs. Frederick Peto was the
installing officer. After the install
lation the monthly social of the coun-
Gil was held. Besides many mem
bers Of the council. there was a del
egation from Molly Stark Council,
of Pleasant Plains, present. Games
were played and a social time en-
joyed with refreshments.
The officers Installed were: Coun-
cilor, Miss Beatrice Monroe; assoei-
ate councillor, Mrs. Kate Ballet;
associate vice, Mrs. P. i. Sprague;
past associate, Mrs. Emma Robedee;
Junior past councillor, Miss Laura
Johnson; secretary, Mrs. Grace Fur
assoefata -asnratary, Mrs. r.
Stricklin; financial secretary, Mrs.
e. w. Berlett; treasurer, Abram M.
Sprague; trustee for eighteen
months, Mrs. T. @. Simonson.