The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-01-16


Chicago Tribune.
The Rev. Maurice j. Dorney of st.
Gabriels church, which is the eccles-
iastical key of the Chicago Stock
Yards is probably better and more
favorably known among prominent
democrats than any clergyman in the
country.
OF course, he is often called on by
his parishioners to provide employ
ment for their friends, and the appeal
is rarely in vain.
A few years ago, just about the
time that the present Pope, who was
then Cardinal Giuseppe Sarto, was
elevated to the Holy See, John p.
Agnew, son of former high sheriff
Frank j. Agnew of Chicago, was
building the Thirty-ninth Street inter
cepting sewer and not being very far
from Father Dorney's bailiwick,
goodly number of Contractor Agnews
employees hailed from st. Gabriels
parish.
Mr.. Agnew had just appointed
new foreman-an Italian-and as Fa-
ther Dorney was passing the big ditch
the following morning he looked on
the upturned faces of a number OF
II. utb AZ 1u tn1Ipb-
ed their hats to him.
We'll, boys inquired Father Dor
ney, how do you like your new Dago
boss"
"Foine, yer riv-rence," was the
chorus of replies, "How do you loike
yours National Monthly.
r. A. Gardner, the golf champion,
said one afternoon on the famous
Wheaton links:
THAT chap ahead of us plays very
poorly, doesn't he? Let us say nothing
to him about it, though. His poor
playing is often enough rubbed in on
him.
His caddie, one day when he was
in particularly had form, lay down
near the ball in bunker and pretend
ed to sleep.
THE man looked up from one of
his many vain swats at the ball and
growled:
Say, you must be tired, boy lying
down.
81 amt tired of carryin'. said the
boy but | certainly am tired of
countn. New York Tribune.
The Circle railroad in London des-
cribes a circle whose diameter is
about ten miles. In the car was an
old and very obese lady, who express
ed the utmost solcitude lest she be
carried past her destination. A pas
senger assured her that her station
was half an hour away, and that he
would tell her when they reached it.
Thank you very much, Sir said
the fat old lady, "but whenever l get
out, bein' as 'ow I'm so 'eavy, | backs
out; an 1 amt more than 'alf way
out afore along comes the guard, an
e says, Look lively there, num-, says
he, look lively an e pushes me back
again, an I've been round the circle
three times this morning! !"-EX-
change.
The infant had been at it again.
Dad" he asked, does it cost much
to keep a lion?'
1T does, my SON.
"A wolf would make good meal
for a lion, wouldn't it, dad?"
Yes"
And a fox would be enough for the
wolf, wouldn't it, dad?"
Il suppose so. Go on and play
"A fox would be satisfied with a
hawk, and a sparrow would satisfy a
hawk, eh, dad?"
Hin, If you don't go away"
And a spider would make a meal
for a sparrow"
Yes, yes! Now"
wait a minute, dad. Now were
coming to it. A spider would be salts
fed with a fly, wouldn't it,
"Ye-es, my SON"
And a drop of molasses would be
enough for fly, wouldn't it?'
Well, supposing it would"
Yes; that's just it, dad. Now, what
I want you to tell me is this: Could
a man keep a lion for more than a
year with a quart of molasses?'
And then the sound of a falling slip
per awoke the schoes of the Silly
Eagle.