davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22
humorous 1epartmeat.
Fond of Oysters.

When l was in the produce busi-
ness in Philadelphia years ago." said
an old merchant. Il had, among my
country shippers, a Pennsylvania Ger
man by the name of Jacob Snyder.
He did not often come to the city, but
when he did it was a great occasion
with him, and he expected some at
tention. So one morning in the fall,
when he turned up in my store about
10 o'clock, said to him:
Jacob, you must have made an
early start from home to get here so
soon. How would you like to have a
bit of lunch right away? Do you
like oysters?'
wy he said, I could eat few
oysters
so we went round to a neighboring
oyster cellar, and 1 ordered two stews.
Now, Jacob said l, while we are
waiting, what do you say to some
raw?'
"'Vell,' he replied, I don't mind
so we had half a dozen raw apiece,
and as the stews had not yet come,
we had another half a dozen on the
half shell.
When the stews were despatched, l
asked, as a matter of form, if he would
not have another, and he said:
"'Vell, thems pretty good oysters,
and 1 don't mind if 1 do haf another
stew
'T nibbled crackers while he ate stew
number two, and when he had finished
l said to him:
They pan oysters very we'll here.
Do you like panned oysters as we'll as
stewed?'
Ivy, like oysters any way. l don't
mind if haf a pam
Il ordered one for him, and, that dis
posed of, suggested a few fried.
Wells he observed, I haf eat fried,
and fried is goot. don't mind
by the time he had finished that
order-and 1 made it a dozen-it was
high noon, and 1 did not feel that l
could afford to test Jacobs capacity
further. So paying the hill, 1 piloted
him out, and as we walked along l
said to him:
Jacob. you're right fond of oysters,
aren't you?'
William he replied, with more
animation than he had yet shown, I'm
very fond of oysters. Wy do you know,
I sometimes belief l could make a meal
of 'em!"-Youth's Companion.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22

Change and Rest.-"Hello. Bill" re-
marked q Market street salesman as he
met a friend yesterday in lunch cafe,
where have you been? l haven't seen
you for the last three weeks"
Well" replied the vacationist, wear
lily, III tell you. I've been away
Went on the recommendation of my
doctor. Seemed to be all run down and
wrong. The doc said l was nearly all
in. and been working too hard. He ad-
vised me to go to the seashore for a
change and a rest. l did, and here
am. The boardwalk got the change
and the hotels got all the rest"
He looked tired. and his friend be-
lieved him.-Philadelphi Record.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22
Good Listeners.-Senator Swanson

Good Listeners. Senator Swanson
of Virginia tells a good story on him
self about the first political speech he
ever made. He says: Il jumped up and
began: Gentlemen, Herodotus tells
us'-'which tickets he on? yelled the
man with the red shirt.-'Herodotus
tells u.s. resumed with a gulp, of
whole army that was put to flight by
the braying of an ass The crowd ap-
plauded and felt fine. Then the mans
voice rose above the din. Young fell
ler, he called, you needn't be afraid
for this crowd. It's bin tested"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22

Teaching BY Example.-Willian
Dean Howells is a stout opponent OF
those novelists who, under the preteXt
of reforming their readers, write books
about vice.
such writer's" said Mr.. Howells al
a luncheon at Kittery Point, Me-, re
mind me of a lad whose mother sait
to him:
why, Johnny, l do believe you're
teaching that parrot to swear
mo, I'm not, mother. the boy re-
piled. I'm just telling it what il
mustn't say.'"-LOs Angeles Times.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22

lneffectual.-A colored woman went
to the pastor of her church the other
day to complain of the conduct Of her
husband, who, she said, was a low
down, worthless, trifiing niger. After
listening to a long recital of the de-
linquencies of her negleCtful spouse
and her efforts to correct them, the
minister said: Have you ever tried
heaping Goals of fire upon his head?"
NO." was the reply, but l done tried
hot water"-Kansas City Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22

a. Gould you do something for a
poor old sailor?" asked the seedy-
looking wanderer at the gate.
Poor old sailor" echoed the lady at
work at the tub.
"Yes'm, follored the wotter for six
teen years"
We'll" said the woman, after a
critical look, you certainly don't look
as if you ever caught up with it,"
Then she resumed her labors.-
Ideas.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22
/. W. JOHNSON
MEDICAL COLLEGE
OF THE STATE OF SOUTH CARO-
LIMA, CHARLESTON, s. c.


Session opens October I'd, 1911, ends
June Sd, 1912.
Unsurpassed clinical advantages Of
fered by the New Roper Hospital, one
of the largest and best equipped hospi-
tails in the south. Extensive outdoor
and dispensary service under control
of the Faculty.
Nine appointments each year for
graduates in medicine for hospital and
dispensary services.
Medical and Pharmaceutical Labor
atories recently enlarged and fully
equipped.
Department Of Physiology and EN-
bryology in affiliation with the Charles
ton Museum.
Practical work for medical and phar-
maceutical students a special feature.
For catalogue, address
ROBERT WILSON, Jr., M. D. DEAN.
Cor. Queen & Franklin Sts., Charleston.
South Carolina.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22

18' Old Gent-Pon my word, madam,
| should hardly have known you, you
have altered so much.
Lady-FOr the better or for the
worse?
Old Gent-Ah, madam, you could
only change for the better.-Judge.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22

DT The Business man you write to-,
judges you by tho quality of your Sta
tionery. The best is the cheapest for
you to use. Send your orders to The
Enquirer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22
PAY ME FIRST

u OR IL long years you have paid
IL the other fellow first. Now / am
sure you love to make glad hearts, so
pay me first and let me pay the other
fellow, and let us all rejoice together.
R. E. MONTGOMERY.
73 If IT,.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1911-09-22
FALL
FLOWING

There is just about enough moisture
in the ground now to begin your fall
plowing, preparatory to sowing oats
and wheat If you expect to do any
plowing and need a first-class. better
than -the-average Turn Plow come and
see me. l have the Plow that will do
the most satisfactory work, do 1t the
easiest and the fastest. Come and see
me for sizes and prices.
WIRE FENCING.
If you expect to put up any Wire
Fencing come and see me about the
Perfect Pittsburg Wire. It's the best.
Sec mo for Domestic Coal.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19

the hotel at Providene recently, and
was held at bay at the point of shot
guns, has Just been made public
here.
Sensing was employed by a pub
lie committee to investigate the >mys-
terious murder of Henry Thompson
here last December, and gave testi-
mony before the grand jury now sit
ting at Dixon. Sensing arrived In
Providence Saturday night and went
to the hotel, and about midnight a
mob, 1t is said, arrived at the hotel
and demanded that Sensing come
outside. The Marshall was sent for
and threatened to shoot into the
crowd If they did not dispense.
Sensing and the hotel proprietor
sat up the balance of the night with
shotguns on their laps and looked
every minute for the mob to show
up again. 1t Is said that Sensing
was able to present strong evidence
to the grand jury at Dixon.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
CANDIDATE VIM. Adams
STATES HIS PuSlTION
On Public QuestiOns-SOme Ex-
CeIIent Democratic Ideas
Are Advanced.

VIM. Adams, candidate for the
Democratic nomination for Cover
nor, has made an announcement of
his position on public questions as
follows:
1. Stringent educational laws
that will secure more schools, bet
ter schools and better pay for the
teachers, in order to insure compe-
tency, and such a system of schools
as will insure equal opportunity to
all children.
2. Constitutional revision of the
tax laws.
8. All legislation necessary to
bring the roads of Kentucky to the
highest state of efficiency.
A. State bank inspection.
>. Bringing the military up to
the highest standard of efficiency
and freeing same from politics.
G. Organization and cooperation
between farmers as well as among
other laboring men, whether they
labor in the field, factory, store, OF
wherever wage is earned.
:. Such legislation as would I'M
prove the relations between capita
and labor.
g. The strict enforcement Of
that portion of Article of the Con
stitution of United States which
reads as follows:
mo religious test shall ever be re
auired as a qualification to any of
fee or public trust"
g.. Election Of L, $, Senators b.
direct vote of the people.
10. The strict enforcement o
all laws on the statute books.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
BIG K. P. CONVENTION
MEETS IN GREENSBORO
Next MOnth-AII Lodges in the
District Will Send
Delegates.

The district convention of the
lodges of the Fifth district of the
Knights of Pythias of Kentucky will
be held in greensboro in May, and
preparations are being made to have
it be one of the most successful and
important conventions that has ever
been held in the State. 1t is pro-
posed to have the largest class initi-
alton ever held in Western Ken
lucky, and each of the lodges in the
district is invited to have large
number of candidates for the first
rank. All of the lodges in the dis
triet will/send a large delegation to
the meeting, and as(the meeting
will continue only one day, Star
lodge members are making prepara7
lions to entertain the visiting
KNIGHTS on an elaborate scale. The
Star lodge degree team, which has
widespread reputation for being
one OF tne DeSl III thS Oh"NN'
confer the first rank in amplihed
form.
The district is composed of the
following lodges: Star lodge, No.
10, greensboro; Ivy lodge, No. FL,
Henderson; Breckenridge lodge, No.
81, Cloverport; Independent lodge,
No. 9S. Hawesville; Rough River
lodge, No. 10, Hartford; Caluthe
lodge, No. 144, Central City;
Eclipse lodge, No. $50, Livermore,
Damron lodge, Leitchtield; Luther
lodge, Drakesboro, and Golden Spur
lodge, No. 100, greensboro. The
convention will be attended by
Grand Chancellor R. L. Slade, Grand
Keeper OF Records and Seals ]. w.
Garter, Past Supreme Representa-
tive w. w. Blackwell of Henderson,
and other grand lodge officials.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
NO MEETING WAS HELD
BY THE MACEO GROWERS

A surprise was in store for the
representatives of the Green River
Tobacco Growers association when
they arrived in Maceo Saturday
morning, preparatory to attending
the farmers meeting, which had
been called by w. G.. Riney, presi-
dent of the Green River association.
Hiram Marksberry, vice president;
Walter Anterior, secretary, and T.
M. Maple, one of the supporters OF
the Green River association, went to
Maceo to represent the association,
but, upon arriving at Maceo, found
that something like 1900 acres of
tobacco had been pledged to a local
committee, which had been appoint
ed to confer with the Green River
Tobacco Growers Association, and
the Home Warehouse company, in
an effort to have receiving point
opened in the Moceo tobacco barn.
The representatives of the assoc
citation were unable to take any &C
ton until the tobacco had been pool
ed with the association uncondition-
ally, and they returned to Owens
boro. Consequently. there was no
farmers meeting held in Maceo.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19

afternoon and then drowned herself.
This double tragedy was enacted
just a few minutes before the Pres
ident and Major Butt rode up to the
spot. They saw a crowd of boys
running, some of them toward and
some away from the place of the
drowning. The President inquired
what it was all about, and had Ma
ior Butt telephone for the harbor
master and the police. These ar
rived, and the bodies were taken out
of the basin at a point near where
it empties into the Potomac river.
The negro woman and the boy are
supposed to have been strangers, her
acts clearly indicating insanity.
The boy, according to the ac-
counts of the spectators, struggled
desperately while his head was be-
ing held under the water by his
mother. The woman apparently had
no difficulty in keeping her own
head under water till she was dead.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
ELSIE'S EASTER "RUBBER"
COST HER VERY DEARLY

Eli. Neb., April l6.--Miss Elsie
Stuart to-day succeeded In seeing
the back of her head, but In doing
so she dislocated her neck, tearing
some of the ligaments from their
fastenings, necessitating her being
sent to a hospital at Omaha, there
to have the injuries righted
Miss Stuart was arrayed in her
best, and upon her head was perch
ed a new and stylish Easter hat;
Standing in front of a long mirror
in her home, she desired to get a
back view of herself.
Backing up to the mirror she
twisted her head until she was al
most looking backward. Then there
was a swapping of muscles, sounding
much like the report of small pis-
tol, and Miss Stuart found herself
unable to turn her head to the right,
the left or forward. She was contin-
uallv looking backward.
The pain was intense. but the
Young woman was placed on a spe-
cial train and hurried away to Oma-
ha, where a surgeon pulled the neck
back into place, set the face so that
It looks to the front and caught up
the dislocated ligaments.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
STRANGE Coincidence
IN BIRTHS AND DEATHS

Richmond, KY, April 16.-The
funerals OF Thomas Hurley and Will
liam Devore, Jr., were held here at
2 and o'clock to-day.
Singular condolences in conneo-
ton with the lives and deaths of
these two men were that they were
BON the same day, were boys to-
gether and grew up as chums. Both
selected the same occunation, that
of engineer. were about the same
build, and died almost at the same
time. on the same day and from the
same cause and in the same man
ner.
The funerals were conducted
about two hours apart in order that
the Lodge of Locomotive Engineers
could attend both.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
EXACT CENTS MUST BE
CHARGEED FOR TICKETS

washington. April IA resolu-
ton has been adopted by-the Inter
State Commerce Commission put
ting an end to the practice OF rail-
road companies, for the sake of con-
venience in selling passenger tickets,
whenever possible. at charge in
multiple of 5. For instance, If the
fare according to the mileage figured
"A cents, the rate exacted has in
many cases been 40 cents, and II II
figured AZ cents, 1t might be 40
cents. BY the order issued to-day,
carriers are required to make the
charge in odd cents.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
Bill Providing for Popular
Election of Senators
PASSED BY VOTE 2s6 TO IS
Minority, However, Opposed
the Form of Proposed
Amendment.
LONE DEMOCRAT AGAINST IT

The House of representatives, by
vote of 296 to 16, passed last
week the Rucker resolution propos-
ing a constitutional amendment for
the direct election of United States
Senators. This is the first of the
Democratic program measures pass
ed by the House. Backed by a SOL
i'd Democratic phalanx, II went
through without modification and
with a speed that brought protest
from the Republicans. ..--.'. ...
The resolution, as the House APP
proved 1t, is in the form OF the Bo-
rah resolution reported 'out of the
Senate Judiciary Committee in the
closing days of the last Congress.
Republican opposition to the Rucker
resolution in the House was based
on the fact that it did not contain
the changes afterward made in the
fight in the Senate, which assured
to Congress continued control over
elections in the several States.
After six hours of debate in which
many demands were made for this
change in the resolution, all but tif-
teen of the Republicans voted for
the passage of the resolution. The
majority of them had stated during
the debate that they would support
the resolution anyway, because they
were convinced the public wanted
such a constitutional amendment
submitted to the country as quickly
as possible.
Those who opposed the resolution
on the final vote were:
Republicars-Cennon, Mann, IL
inois: Danforth, Dwight, Malby,
New York; Dodds, Fordney, McMor-
ran. Michigan; Harris, Lawrence,
Mccall, Wilder, Massachusetts,;
Kinds, Maine; Sulloway, New Hamp-
shire; Utter, Rhode Island.
at-McDermott, Illinois.
Former Speaker Cannon, Repub-
lican leader Mann and others of the
Republicans who voted against the
measure, declared that its form was
such as to threaten the Fedora
Government with the loss of con-
troll over the senatorial elections in
the States given to safeguard the
integrity of these elections. They
insisted, as did other Republicans
who ultimately voted for the resolu'
ton. that the direct election amend
ment should be offered without any
language attached that might be
dangerous to the future congress
sioral supervision of senatorial cleo
lions.
Democratic leaders declare that
the Rucker resolution was open to
no such construction and that it Of
fered the most nearly perfect consti-
tutional amendment that could be
devised. An amendment offered by
Representative Young, of Michigan,
adding language tha tresembled
that of the Sutherland amendment
adopted In the Senate two months
ago, was defeated by a party vote,
121 TO 100.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
Electric Lights for Livermore.

Work is being rushed by a large
force of electricians on the erection
of the electric light plant at Liver
more, Mclean county, and within
the next few days the town will be
lighted by electricity. The Liver
more Electric Light company is in
staliIng thirty street lights and also
has a large force Of electricians en-
gagged. in wiring the private resi-
Iderres that VIII have the lights in
stalled.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
SHOE TORN FROM FOOT
BY LIGHTNING'S PRANK

Marion, KY, April 14.-During a
thunderstorm an outer building
near the residence of Levi Cook, a
ieweler of this city, was struck by
lightning. At the time Mr.. Cook
was standing near the building with
one foot resting on the doorsill. The
lightning struck the top of the build
ing. ran downward. tearing the shoe
from his foot and severely burning
bis foot. Otherwise he was unin-
jared.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
Hon. MaxHanberryin Race
N for Governor.
his PLATFORM EMBRACES ALL
That Is Worth Having In This
World Synonym of
Generosity.
SPECIAL APPEAL TO FAIR SEX

Murray, KY, April 15.-In the
following unique card Hon. Max
Hanberry. a prominent member Of
the Cadiz bar, formally announces
his candidacy for Governor of Ken
I tucy, the announcement appearing
to-dY in the Galloway County Ga
zette:
Having stood for many years for
equal rights to all and exclusive
privileges to none," mot even barr
ing the women) and all these years
having advocated five cardinal prin-
ciples, and these being so well
known to most of the people, II not
all, and owing to the great, terrific
and irresistible pressure brought to
bear on me, and owing to the furth-
er fact that even Gus Wilson has
once been elected Governor, though
knowing as l do that it Will be
great sacrifice personally and finan-
Eally to accept this position, feeling
b keenly the many laborious duties
of this responsible position; yet, ow-
ing to this great pressure, l have
decided to accept it. In fact, see no
possible way to avoid it; and now,
in order that none may misunder-
stand my position, will one more
time make myself clear.
First am unalterably in favor
of giving every yellow dog" Demo
crat a lucrative office-one which
will be remunerative enough tn keen
him from want, exertleD~ and worry.
second-I am ]- favor of giving
every white Republican Especially
those Who voted for Gus Wilson
and still remain loyal to their par
ty) a pension, same to be ample to
keep the wolf from the door without
effort or care on his part.
: Third am in favor of giving
ssvarv negro voter a watermelon
nateb 4 mule and fish pond, with
imported labor to handle his mule
and cultivate the melons free OF
care or cost to him.
FOURTH am in favor of and VIII
give all married wonlen Iorty'
horsepower automobile OF thell
own selection, and two hats eaen
every year, as large as any turbine
wheel now in use for the operation
of any grist mill in the State OF not
more than 900 barrels capacity, to-
gether with half ton of chewing
gum for each one annually; and Will
grant each one the exquisite privi-
lege of saying anything she may
see fit about her neighbor, no odds
how slanderous, without fear or
hindrance, either of law or equity.
OF course, it goes without saying
that every girl and single woman in
all this commonwealth is to have a
wicket phaeton and a sported pony
without cost or care.
So with some degree of impa-
thence, not on my account, however
but on account of the dear people,
1 await my inaugural.
MAX HANBERRY.
It should be noted that Mr.. Han
berry does not announce from which
one of the great parties he seeks the
nomination.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1911-04-19
Desreratc Fi"hting.
Rock ON Science Of stuGing.

Lessons in Taxidermy" is the I'll
tie Of little booklet just issued by
James NJ. DeWeese, B. s., ex-Supt.
Public Schools of Ohio county and
Captain Co. H, Third Infantry, and
Olnev NJ. Felix. B. s., graduate tax
idermist, now in the employ of the
U. s. Government. 1t is a most
comprehensive volume on the art
End science of mounting birds and
animals. and makes the task verv
nlain and easy. II sells for only 81
End ~ is we'll worth the price TO an
one interested in this matter. " 's
Gov sole Nv the New School of Taxi
denny, Owensboro. Ky.