The Holbrook news., 1911-02-17
CLERK HAS TROUBLE
Man Who Handles Mail Finds
 Many Queer Missives.
Mostly Due to careIessness, But ldiotic Addresses and Various Kinds of Crani<s Add Greatly
 to His Confusion.

Washington-It does seem an easy matter to address a letter prop erly in order that it may slip through Uncle Sam's postal mill as speedily and safely as possible. No racking of the intellect is required in the process and but little physical exer- tion-simply the inscribing of name and address. Yet in the face of this, ask the man who superintends the sorting of the mail in the city post office about it and if he does not throw up his hands and fervently cry: "Our lucky stars preserve us from those who don't or won't know how to address a letter." it will be because he is too busy to do more than think his opinion.
 Of the thousands Of letters which go through the office weekly it Is sur prising to learn that hundreds of them. through faulty addresses. cause the post office people almost as much trouble as the handling of those that are in proper form. And the acts of this same class are also the most potent factor in keeping the wheels or lQQuSITy QuIuIuluB III NAc NCaN AOI- ter office all the year round.
 Carelessness on the part of letter writers is the cause of the appear ance of most of these bothersome mis- sives, and in this line Washington is entitled to a seat in the grandstand, as the records of the office will show It is the careless person who drops a letter adorned with a stamp but un- adorned with an address into the box; it is kindred spirit who mails let ter to a friend in some distant city which the writer locates in state having no such city within its borders.
 Have to Fill in City.
 It is one with a similar failing who directs his letter to a certain street and leaves a blank space below for the post office officials to fill in any city or town it may occur to them the street is situated in. It is careless ness that brings to the post office neatly addressed and stamped enve- lope which is, however, unsealed and destitute of contents. just the sort of an affair to cause fearful breach between two correspondents, one angry because of an unanswered let ter and the other indignant because his tale of the empty envelope is dis credited. But to tell of the devious and aggravating ways of the careless letter writer would take day in itself
 Ignorance also plays it's part in the letter game. as a few select specimens will show. It was certainly an ig- norant person who not long ago ad- dressed a letter to His honorableness the President" leaving it to the su- perior wisdom of the postmaster to guess whether the letter was a peti- tion to the president of the United States for a position or an appeal to the president of glue trust for job as laborer.
 ChiIdIike Faith of Some.
 Ignorance or a childlike belief in the supernatural powers of the postal officials also inspired the following effusive, though vague, inscription of a rather dirty envelope dropped in the main office:
 ITO my cousin, Martha Small who lives in Organ and who was goin' to move to Montannel."
 Another missive with a nomadic ad- dress was odorous with mystery. It was directed:
 Samuel Kramer. Milwaukee. Wis. If not. try Columbus, O., or maybe Dallas. Tex, or perhaps, Bangor, Me-
 A piece of handiwork worthy of the Handy Andy" is exhibited by letter which. besides the stamp. bore only on its face this writing:
 'If not delivered in ten days, post master will please open and return as per address inside. Stamp in- closed"
 But it is not the careless and fig norant alone who clog up the postal and cause the letter men to give way at times to an inclination to use words of lurid tinge and em- phatic meaning.
 There is a vast and growing army of cranks who seem to live only for the purpose of using the mails in their own peculiar idiotic way. In the oper- ations of some of these there is q studied fiendishness that would sug- gest a gigantic conspiracy to drive postal clerks to an insane asylum or the clammy tomb.
 In the first place there is the puzzle crank. who imagines that two-cent stamp gives him the privilege of dis playing. at the expense of the postal his marvellous powers as an enigma maker This is fair sample | of his work:
 "F. (color) H. (second President) I
 Seventh President,
 "1o-s-o."
 The envelope ought to have gone into the waste basket. but Uncle Sam's orders are to use all possible means to find the party to whom a