The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-10
"HOCH DER KAISER, OR
 "OH! DOT SHRINE"
By c. HI. MANDY

count is not only necessary but impera- tive. When the nobles of Zamora temple left Birmingham on their pilgramage to Rochester they made a brave showing. Headed by the famous Arab patrol, | commander by Captain McGregor, | | bossed by Lieutenant Kilgore. and | cussed out by Lieutenant Riddle, with | the noted oriental band under the lead | ership of Lew Lazarus and direction of Professor Allsop, all dressed in their gorgeous oriental costumes with 100 red topped nobles marching two by two with "Hoch de Riser" in supreme
 command, they marched up and down
 the streets of Birmingham to their own supreme satisfaction and the plaudits of theft friends. l While the 5ourney to Rochester is | now ancient history and the happen | ings of that memorable trip a fond and pleasant memory-the nobles hav-
 ing had time to fully recover-it might not be out of place to relate few in | cidents that happened while the Za-
 mora nobles were sojourning In that | northern oasis.
 Leaving Birmingham on a special | train, all went well the first few hours. | At the first stop farmer with wagon l load of watermelons drove by, and then | 1t was that Captain McGregor opened
 his heart and decided to give the Shrin- CTS of Zamora a pleasant surprise by
 furnishing chilled watermelons for
 breakfast next morning. He had them placed in the baggage car, which was | in front of the train.
 | Many of the nobles have strong lik- ing for the lucious melon, and the gall , lant captain had all he could do to l a raid the frIlt of the melon
 vine. So placing his hugh form in
 the doorway of the baggage car he
 stood guard"-when he wasn't sitting
 down-all during the night.
 1 The train reached Indiana that night
 where three coaches filled with Indiana
 Shriners were hitched on. To save time
 they coupled the 'Indians' to the front
 end of the baggage car from Alabama. l The aforesaid Indians immediately went 1 on a forage and the first thing they saw
 was the heap of watermelons on ice.
 ''The lawful spells of warfare" said | an Indiana Shriner, and before you could | say Jack Robinson the melons were l transferred to the other coach and at | the break of day the Indiana nobles 1 awakened their wives and the melons were disposed of.
 About this time Captain McGregor | awoke He called the melon hungry Ala | bama nobles to the baggage car for the l
 gone An investigation showed the coach
 ahead and explanations were unnec- l essary. Captain McGregor was promptly l courtmartialed and sentenced to be shot, but his nibs the potanate suspended the sentence on the grounds that Captain l McGregor had been half shot already and | he did not know which half to shoot.
 Arriving in Rochester the parade was again formed and 1t was worth 30 cents in Chinese money to witness the addi- tional strut of Lieutenant Kilgore as he marched at the head of the gorgeously | arrayed Arab patrol. He threw out his | chest and yelled 'column right, eyes left" every time he passed a crowd of | ladies. Some one suggested he did it to attract the attention of the aforesaid ladies, but with such handsome man
 as the lieutenant arrayed in his "harem skirt" such proceedings were unneces- sary.
 his famous one lunged band together,
 and striking Philip Sousa attitude he gave the signal to commence the
 "Shriners' March" "One two, thr e."
 said Director Allsopp and the band commenced to play. The noise that
 bunch made was something awful. It
 was terrific. It sounded like a dozen
 asthmatic Scotch bagpipes. each play Ing a different tune, with a boiler fac tory accompaniment. As they marched down the street they had the right of way. Every living thing that was not paralyzed fled at their approach. Even the sun quit shining on that thorough fare. It was not until the riot call was sounded and the reserves called out that they dessted. When the af- frighted inhabitants of that ancient burg had recovered, they agreed not to prosecute Lew and his bunch on con-
 dition they would destroy their dia- bolical instruments. So they all ad- journed to an adjacent brewery and there the matter ended
 It might be mentioned that Sam Foley, the elongated undertaken from Pratt City, attracted much attention
 both on account of his length and try ing to sell them Yankees" second hand collins at a dollar down, balance a dollar a week." Tom Williams learned
 to dance the Salome in three different languages and exhibited his ability on every occasion.
 The illustrious potentate, Be-Gum Riser, fully entered into the spirit of the occasion, sometimes the spirit en- tered him. He was Johnny on the spot all the time and contributed much to the pleasure of the bunch, from loaning
 them money to minding babies. He
 made 16 speeches during the visit-all the same, however and held up the dignity of the shrine on all occasions
 even though some one had to hold him up. Hence 1t was that when he finally got the bunch together and saw them safely on their way home that he tum-
 bled into his berth from which came
 the remark that is now so famous, "Oh dot CIrtr, ,x,I frAv~