davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
WRONG SORT
Perhaps Plain Old Nest, Potatoes and
Bread May Ds Against You
for . Time.

"A change to the right kind Of food
can lift ono from . sick bed. A lady
In Wslden. ILL.,. says:
Last spring became bed-fast with
severe stomach troubles accompanied
by sick headache. l got worse and
worse until / became SO low l could
scarcely retain any food at all. Al
though l tried about every kind.
II had become completely discour.
aged, and given up all hope, and
thought was doomed to starve to
death, until one day my husband. try
ing to flnd something I could retain,
brought home some Grape-Nuts.
ITO my surprise the food agreed
with me, digested perfectly and with
out distress. began to gain strength
at once. My flesh (Which had been
fiabby), grew firmer. my health I'm
proved In every way and every day.
and in a very few weeks gained 20
pounds in weight.
81 liked Grape-Nuts SO well that for
four months ate no other food. and
always felt as well satisfied after eat
ing as II had sat down to a flne ban
quet.
II had NO return Of the miserable
sick stomach nor Of the he daches.
that l used to have when ate other
food. am now a we'll woman. doing
all my own work again. and feel that
life 10 worth living.
"Grape-Nuts food has been Cod
send to my family; 1t surely saved my
life: and my two little boys have
thriven On 1t wonderfully" Name
given by Postum Co.. Battle Greek,
Mich.
Read the little book. The Road to
Wellville," in pkgs. There's q reason" /"
Ever Rad the abevs lsttefS A nsw
Ooe apDeaRs froa tine t. tine. Thsy
interest.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
noMEsEEkERs ExcU RsioN
RATA TO TEXAS AND NEW
MEXICO POINTS DUR.
IAa foff

. On the first and third Tuesdays Of
each month during the entire year
The Colorado and Southern Rail.
way will sell round trip homeseekers'
excursion tickets to q great many
points in New Mexico and Texas at
ereatly reduced rates. Final limit
rs days allowing liberal stop-ovef
privileges. For detailed Information.
rates. etc. call on your nearest Colo
sdo and Southern agent or address T.
Fisher, General Passenger Agent.
Denver, Colo.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
AnsvsrIna the Dean.

The man who Thackeray calls 'the
greatest wit OF all time"-Dean Swift
Of st. Patrick's cathedral. Dublin
was a. ready to take as to make a re-
tort.
why don't you don your hat to
met" he asked q small boy who was
coaxinG along an obstreperous goat.
Il will" said the lad. 'if your honor
will hold the goats horns!" an answer
which delighted the dean.-Youth's
Companion.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
che Forgot.

A young woman who forgets faces
very easily and is painfully conscious
of so doing. was riding In an open car
one summer day. She felt q hand on
her shoulder and heard voice say.
ing. Il beg your pardon. but you
have forgotten"
"Oh. not at all: remember you
very WE'LL" hastily interrupted the
other, whereas the lady Of the hand
At once straishtened up and. in .
most frigid tone. said: Il have not
the pleasure Of your acquaintance.
but you have forgotten to button your
waist"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
A stock Anecdote.

This sword came from the battle
field of Waterloo. An interesting an
ecdote goes with it."
1T 10 . fine anecdote." said the
other man. after listening carefully.
II bought the same anecdote once
with an old musket."
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
A La Gypsy Moth.

All the flies had been exterminated.
Except one pair. which learned
professor had imported from Mars. or
New Jersey. or somewhere. and was
saving for scientific purposes.
One day these two flies escaped
from captivity.
Then history repeated itself.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
The Wise Tailor.

But look here. Snip" said Slow.
pay. you haven't put any pockets IN
these trousers. What's the matter
with you?"
why. Mr.. Slowpay." replied the
man of clothes, Il was going to sug-
gest that In case you ever had any
thing to put into them you send 1t on
to us to keep for you"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
Not for Mr. Hercules.

MOI tor MT. V0rcuIeS.
Hercules had finished his twelfth
labor.
That's tho last!" he exclaimed.
positively refuse to do another one!"
Thus we see that even Hercules
was not free from the "13" supersti-
ton.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
with Emphasls.

Mistress chastity stick . finger into
eitheh ear-Kittie. for Heavens
sake! What does that frishtful noise
and profanity in the kitchen mean!
Kittie-Oh, that's nothln'. ma'ami
lt's only cook rcjectin' q proposl av
marrij from the ashman!
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
Rotri ributlon.

The poet Wordsworth. stricken in
years, had been put on the pension
list.
If that MEANS" he said. that they
want me to stop writing. they'll have
to make 1t more than $1,000 a year"
So he kept on writing. and q year
later the blow fell.
They made him poet laureate.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
A Help to Patience.

A man who had to leave his office
and was expecting caller to pay
him some money. left this notice on
his door: II have gone out for half
an hour. VIII be bacA soon. Have
gone 20 minutes already"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20

Mrs. Benham-The paper tells about
Q man who stole head OF lettuce and
then went back and got another. b.
mg arrested on the second trip.
Benham-Irl bet you can't mako that
eollow believe that two heads are bet
ter than one.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
The Urgent Need.

She (flattering with eyes and voicel
Arthur dear. find that We stu
need . few things to make our htue
household more serviceable.
He-What one thing. perhaps!
she-Well. for instance. We need .
Knew hat for me.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
lust %.

why do they call q bell boy in .
hotel 'Buttons?"
Because he's always on when yoa
need him most, I guess"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
Then He Got His.

She-I consider. John, that sheep
are the stupidest creatures living.
He (absent-mandedly)- my
lamb!
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20

Watch the hobble girl trying to
skip over the cobbles.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1911-07-20
STOP PAYING RENT!

You can own your own home fos
what yOu are paying NOW In rent. TAis
Compsny will lend you the money t.
kuy or build . home or to lift that
aortEaGe, and give You ten and ens-
Aalf years to repay the loan et the
thousand dollars borrowed, per cent
eiapIe interest. Die you ever step te
waste for hsuse rent In ten aaA sns-
half yearsV II not, figure this up-tt
will take you only . moment. Yes Will
lind that II will be more than enough
to buy you . hoae. We will GLADLY e1.
plaln oar plan to you. Do It now. II
nako your rents pay fer . h0Ae.
;aNational Home Investment Co.,
- l1ss First N.He.ai Ba.h BiAs-
DENVER, COLO.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
NEW JERSEY TOWN TO BUILD
A MARKET TO DRAW STORES
Glen Ridge Has Three Thousand In
habitants, but No Business.

There are 5000 inhabitants of Glen
Ridge, N. j.. but there is no bust
ness section in the town. as most
of the residents are commuters and
spend their days in New York. This
condition is often ~inconvenient. and
so the residents have taken steps to
bring stores to their village.
The town has decided to erect a
commodious market in Il central loca-
ton at Bloomfield avenue and Her.
man street. The building will be of
red brick with Il red tile roof. There
will be'SiX stores on the ground floor,
with offices for the borough officials
and the conncil chamber on the second
floor. Each of the stores will be %
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
Rene's Sea Girt Tomb.

Francois Rene. Vicomte de Chateau
BRAND. some twenty years before his
death. writing TO the mayor of st. Ma
10. his native town. made the request
that the town would grant him on the
west point Of the rock of Grand bay a
space sufficient for his burial. TO this
island rock. accessible only at low tide.
the body Of the great French littera-
teur was brought at his death. A
granite cross marks the spot. AT high
tide the rock becomes an island. and
the waves of the Atlantic beat against
this lonely grave.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
Even an aeroplane should be
bought in ones home town if
there's a dealer in the machines
there. As for ordinary, every
day things, home is the place to
buy them.
A Lament.

~ LdIT1c1I.
Why can we not have winter
When it should be in sight?
I'd hate to have the printer
See what l long to write
About the kind Of weather,
Defying all the laws.
That's sort of thrown together
For January thaWs.
A fellow starts to saying
When looking at the snow,
I'VE ought to have good sleighing
About a month or So"
And when he gets his cutter
He finds. to his regret,
The roads arc soft al butter
And growing softer yet.
The stuff the fellow mixes,
Our careless weather man,
Is all at sevens and skies
And quite without a plan.
we go out in the morning
To skate the CLASSY track,
And then with little warning
we have to wade it back.
1t makes a man feel ready
To lead a life Of crime
When winter should be steady
And working all the time
To have it raise the limit
And try to flood the street
So he will have to swim it
And soak in ice his feet.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09

NEW MARKET AT GLEN RIDGE.
by 40 feet, and all will be offered at
a rental that will induce merchants to
occupy them.
This plan will carry out an idea,
often suggested, but never extensively
tried. of having all the stores in a
village under one roof. y further ad-
vantage will be that the general ap-
p%earance of the town will be enhanced
and the market will offer Il protection
against the erection of u%nsightly struc-
lures.
The illustration gives a good idea Of
the appearance of the proposed mar
ket, and it also shows the arcade on
which the stores will open. The build
ing will add much to the beauty Of
the village.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
Direct Descent.

Direct Descent.
"Mother. isn't it just lovely: Uncle
George says we have a family tree"
II am sure I never heard of it"
"But it is so. He knows all about
it,"
"And what kind of a tree is it,"
IAN apple tree. We are descended
from Adam and Eve. and he says
that was their tree on account Of that
little trouble over the apple"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09

MORE than one man has died a
bachelor because the girl he was
in love with and was afraid to propose
to didn't have the courage. of her con-
victions.
Few men know how to treat a wife,
but they get competent instruction
after they are married.
The mills of the gods grind slowly
indeed when you are waiting to see
the man you dislike get what's COM
ing to him.
We seldom know when we are well
off, but we learn it after we have been
we'll done.
Mans woes are as a tale that is told
alas. too often!
Sometimes Il man thinks that he
can't live without a certain woman,
only to find after the ceremony that
he can't live with her.
A fool and Il get-rich-quick scheme
are sure to find one another.
The champion mean man is the n
who makes his family all walk five
hours Il day because shoe leather is
yet cheaper than coal.
A husband who can cool and wash
dishes is simply Indispensable in these
days Of uncertain domestics.
Smart Girl.
"My father doesn't spend much mon
ey."
Maybe he has none"
ooh, yes. he has a lot Of it,"
what does he do with itT'
II spend it for him so be won't have
to bother"
They Come Regular.
GLOW is your watch, Pedro?' asked
the South American wife,
"On time, l think"
Seems a little off to me-"
Perhaps it is a trife. l will set IT
by the next revolution anyway"
Some Object.
"Your sister is. l believe. an old
maid?"
BEG pardon, a bachelor girl"
what is the difference
ooh, a couple 90 thousand a year"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
Appearances.

A rooster cannot lay an egg:
But, listening 10 his loud alarm
And seeing how he rules his set,
A person might feel safe to bet
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
On the Quiet.

1 DeaC my wire
this morning"
said the little man
quite complacent-
~ and as though
it were the thing
to do.
Beat your wife,
you monster! l
don't believe a
word Of it."
II did. though"
And got off
yourself unharm-
ed?"
Sure! l beat
her out of a mic
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
AsLinauist.

Money talks"
"Yes, and it speaks every tongue
known to man"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09

Before ordering catalogue \
|. goods from another city try (
, your local dealer. He may have +
Just what you want at prioes (
equal to tho mail order house.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09

ed her, and she didn't know the diff
ference"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
just to Please Her.

II am going to sue him for breach of
promise"
But he has 10 money"
mo, but he has another girl"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
Some Object.

SoFne UbJect.
"Your sister is, | believe. an old
maid?"
BEG pardon, a bachelor girl"
What is the difference:'
ooh, a couple 90 thousand Il year"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09

There is a great mass of legislation
about half digested in both houses OF
the legislature and the time of the
last week will be filled in sorting out
and disposing of a great accumula.
ton of bills that have passed one
house and are now in the other.
J. w. FOLEY.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09

ALDERMEN.
First Ward......... $50. Morris Orion, J. B. Boyd
Second Ward........J j. Mahoney R. 7. Burke
Third Ward.......A Harrington, Chas. Haugh
SCHOOL BOARD.
Members of Board of Education-John
Mahon Chas. Hunter, w. B. Dickson, u ).
Fox, J. j. Mahoney.
GOOD. d. Milne.
Clerk ......J. +. Truax.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
HurnOr and
Philosophy
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
BY DUNCAN N. SMITH

MORE than one man has died a
bachelor because the girl he was
in love with and was afraid to propose
to didn't have the courage of her con-
victions.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-03-09
SOCIETY DIRECTORY

LODGEOF Observation-Disclosures No. 8
holds regular communications ON the first and
third Thursdays' of each month at the Masonic
J.E. TRUAx, v. Nj.
ROBERT WORK, Sec'y.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-03-03

Mr.. 81. M. Mccullough, of Elk
ton, complimented the club on its
good work and spoke Of the i'm.
perative need of the farmer look
ing after legislation which would
further his interests. He said
every other large interest in the
country had Representatives on the
job all the time looking out for
their interests in legislative matters
while the farmer allowed laws to
be enacted inimical to his welfare.
Advised the farmer to obliterate
party lines in legislation on all
questions touching their interests
and to have delegations of size to
show the legislative committees
their strength. Mr.. McCullough's
remarks were received with ap-
plause.
On motion the club adjourned to
meet with r. T. Cameron on
March %.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-03-03

granary was nicely arranged, fine
large hog house nearby, one end OF
which was used for storing machin-
|ery and ample shedding for all
other machinery about the place
and the implements all under
shelter; goo bushels Of corn in crib,
plenty Of hay and 70 lder, a gasoline
engine, a thrifty young apple
orchard. The live stock consisted
of a pair of FOUR year old mules,
five horses and colts, 10 head Of
cows, including six registered Hol-
stems and three grade calves, four
hogs, go Plymouth Rock chickens
and one turkey hen. The barn
was an especially fine one and
everything about the farm indicated
thrift and the dairy herd much
above the average. The farm con
tains 151 acres and in addition to
the other crops had lately pro.
duced 10 tons of hay.
In lieu of an essay the host in
troduced Prof. Harry Hayward, of
the Delaware Experiment Station,
who gave an interesting talk on the
soy bean which he preferred to COW
pea. He said there was great
difference in the varieties of seed,
some of which were utter failures
in this section. After trying many
varieties he found the Wilson BY
far the best, it producing FIVE tons
Of hay per acre and corn or wheat
on same ground the following year
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-03-03

Warren's exciting story, 'sIn the
Land Of Tomorrow" and the last
part of "The Admiral's Niece, - by
Kate Douglas Wiggih and her
c0llaborators. Short stories In this
number are contributed by such
well. known authors as Mary Hea-
ton Worse, Fannie Heaslip Lea,
Alice Brown and Gertrude King.
"What is Being Done in the
Fight for Honest Weights and
Measures is a particularly timely
article. It is a subject in which
every home maker, the country
over, should take a keen and active
interest. slow I Blundered as q
Housekeeper" is the title of an
article by Christine Terrick, in
which she shows some of the pitfalls
of housekeeping and puts q danger
signal beside them. Gardner Teall
reminds as that March is the time
to start the Salad Garden.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-03-03
What the March Woman's Home
Companion Contains.

You will read all about the latest
spring fashions in the March
Woman's Home Companion. This
always interesting and beautiful
magazine has outdone itself in its
presentation Of the beauties and
mysteries of my lady's spring
wardrobe. Besides a complete
description of the latest styles,
there are dozens of illustrations of
spring gowns and fabrics, many Of
them in colors.
This number is also an excep-
tionally full, complete, and we'll
rounded out general magazine,
packed from cover to cover with
bright stories, fascinating art
features, music aud verse, special
articles, and helpful departments
that go deeply into the heart of all
household problems.
ssThe Flight of the Magic
Carpet new motor story by g.
N. and A. M. Williamson begins
in this number. 1t is a highly
entertaining tale of love and adj
venture written in the usual crisp,
brilliant style of the Williamsons.
"The Magic Carpet" is the fanciful
mans of the automobile which
plays an important part in the
story. The fiction also includes
instalments Of Maude RadfOrd
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-03-03
Has millions OF Friends.

How would you like to number
your friends by millions as Buck
LENS Arnica Salve doesi Its as
founding cures in the past forty
years made them. Its the best
6alve in the world for sores, ulcers,
eczema, burnss boiIs, scalds, cuts,
corns, sore eyes, sprains, swellings,
bruises, cold sores. Has no equal
for piles. Zoe at Eli T. Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-03-03
Phone 222.

gave large yield. Sowed beans
after cutting clover in June and
harvested in fall, broadcasting IL
bushels per acre for hay and drill
ing in % inch rows for seed; latter
would yield 80 bushels per acre.
Some varieties can be sOwn as late
as July 3 and they matured the last
of September. He did not think
Canada peas were a success in this
climate.
Prof. Hayward when asked for
formulas for grass and corn gave
the following:
For grass-125 lbs. each OF
nitrate Of soda and acid phosphate
and % lbs. of potash, all mixed
together.
For orn-Tankage 200 lbs, acid
phosphate 600 lbs, muriate OF
potash 200 lbs.
He considerd the fertilizing ele-
ments in manure worth 90 cents
per ton, its great value being in its
action on other elements already in
the soil.
Numerous other questions were
answered and at the conclusion Of
his remarks a vote of thanks was
rendered him for information i'm
parted.
Prof. Hayward extended an in.
vitation to all present to attend the
exercises at the experimental farm
at Newark during farmers week in
June.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-03-03

A merciless murderer is Append
icitis with many victims, but DR..
Kings New Life Pills kill it by
prevention. They gently stimulate
stomach, liver and bowels, prevent
ing that clogging that invites
appendicitis, curing Constipation,
Headache, Billiousness, Chills,
2bc at Eli T. Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-03-03

Everyone knows chat the automobile business has had
mushroom growth and that the average automobile factory
has presented unlike that newspaper Office
just before the It has had all of the
wild excementa Of the feyerish haste and all Of that
disregard for that always accompanies rapid
development High-priced automobiles the result
The owners paid the BILL
We have for long time been studying this problem We
wanted to eliminate the important faults in the auto
mobile manufacturing institution of today We found
eral of waste First immature design and
ond immature and hasty method If manufacturer third
and most important eravagant overhead expense All
of these knew be abnormal and consequently
about to them We believed that in
the motor vehicle industry as in others in which have
engaged laid in giving the best value and
service we could for their money.
For Ave years have been studying the automobile
conditions in the United all Of
sentatves have received daily reports We know for
fact what the real conditions are today Consequently
the which have designed and are
ana selling, know from actual Of the
and prospective owners are what the people want.
Everyone wants the most up-sodate design the best
Workmanship value for his money and guar
antee OF good service after the car is in his hands
We are satisfied that IA this series Of Advertisements we
shall be able to concusively the truth of
these statements We the first make an announce
ment OF 1912 cara car which have been thinking
which we know represents the modern engineering
and manufacturing practices-a which in value has
never been eQualed either at home abroad It is in all
respects the result Of knowledge which have gained
from actual experience.
We have Always been he pioneers in setting the price
and 20 which is illustrated above value
anything which have offered before and competition
has failed to produce its equal.