davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
q Political Genius.

Congressmen sometimes adopt queer
expedients to gain the good will of
their constituents. Years ago mem
Der from a western state was afraid
that his first term would be his last,
as he had not MANAGED to make him.
self a power in congress. While he
was debating what he should do a
friend said, "You live near the center
of the United States, don't your
Yes" Then why don't you intro
duce a bill to have the capital moved
to the principal town in your dis
trict? The congressman introduced
the bill, and the people Of his district
at once concluded he was a great man
and sent him back for another term.
He reintroduced the bill in the next
congress, and. although it was prompt
ly pigeonholed in committed. his con-
stituents gave him a third term as a
reward for his genius.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
LIQUID Dynamite.

The Me1icans have native brandy
called aguardiente, which is species
of liquid dynamite, as palatable as cor,
rosive sublimate and as full Of poten'
tial deviltry as an egg is OF meat.
When you find a Mexican gentleman
adorned with a belt full Of deadly
weapons decorating and deluging bis
interior with aguardiente it is the part
of prudence to retire to bombproof.
There is another tipple, white. inno-
cent looking fluid called mescl, which
is distilled from a cactus Of the same
name, which has in it all the COM
bined energy, activity and homicidal
possibilities of a volcano mixed up
with the gable end of mule. In for
mer days the Apache Indians made a
crude distillation of the same stimu-
liant. which they called tis-win. and as
a preliminary to a raid among ranches
and settlements it was great success
from an Indian point Of view.-Boston
Herald.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
The Crocodiles Owed.

The cunning of wild animals in con-
cealing themselves in moments of
danger is we'll known. A party. spend
ing a week on the Nile, were watching
eight or ten crocodiles summing them
selves on the surface Of a small Ia
COON. It was determined to trap these
monsters. if possible. The water was
breast deep. including about two feet
or more of heavy mud. Four nets
were tied together. so as to make one
long enough to reach across the lagoon
and this was weighted on the bottom.
This net was drawn with long poles
from each shore. and behind the net
came a line of men yard apart. prod
ding the mud with poles. The scheme
looked like an admirable one, but the
crocodiles sleepily dived. and that was
the last seen of them. The water was
dragged backward and forward. out
they had burrowed so deeply in the
mud that not one could he found.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04

say there wasn't a rat within mile
of this house,? demanded Mr.. Bowser
as he knocked on the table with the
handle of his knife.
Yes, but
There are no butts about it. What
say about rats goes. Cook saw water
bugs or cockroaches. They might even
have been gfasshoppers that jumped
in from the back yard
''But other houses have rats. Ms.
McLain was telling me-
Mrs. McLain and Mr.. Bowser are
two different persons, madam. If Mrs.
McLain has rats in her house she is
welcome to them. I have none in mine
and never had and never will have,
and if / come home and find another
circus performance going on somebody
will sufferp'
Agrees to Whitewash Cellar.
'I'm sure that cook began Mrs.
Bowser, when he cut in with:
THAT will do. The subject 1s closed
/ have told you what will happen If
any more rats are seen around here"
A week passed without another rat
being seen. Then two made their ap-
pearance, but disappeared before the
cook had time to get scared On the
next day there were four rats and on
the next day one. Not word wss
said to Mr.. Bowser until the other
evening after dinner. Then Mrs. Bow
ser careIessly asked:
Don't you think the cellar ought to
be uhitewashed again.
might be a good thing" was the re-
my.
"Would you pay a man IS to do its'
"Three dollars! Three dollars! Not
By the tomb Of Allah! The man that
charges s. for such little Job fs a
horse thief and q swindler."
'But If it takes him a day and
hafr
HE ought to do It In four hours. I
did It in three. I'll go down and take
a look at things, and II there fs need
Of another coat I'll put It on tomorrow
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
The Blushino Octopus.

The octopus frequently changes IN
color like a marine chameleon. 1t
would appear, from studies of this
creature, that the colored pigment
whereby this change in color is effected
is contained in envelopes in its skin
in the tissue of which are muscular
fibers actuated by nerves. Should
these fbers become relaxed a dark
pigment appears. The phenomenon IS
said to be analogous to blushing.-Har'
per's Weekly.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
Not on Her Side

A little boy who was very much
puzzled over the theory Of evolution
questioned his mother thus:
Mamma, am I descended from q
monkey"
81 don't know" the mother replied.
81 never knew any of your fathers
people e.''-Cotton Seed.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
BoWSER SEES 'EM
Rats? Not a Bit of 1t; Only Big
Cockroaches.
He SC0LDS WIFE AND COOK.
Man of the House Angry That the Wo-
men Had Beer Scared by Rodents.
!. Has Unpleasant Experience In Cellar,
but Stands by His Guns.
BY M. QUAD.

lCopyright. 1911, by Associated Literar!
PreSs.1
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04

ICopyright, 1911, by Associated Literary
Press.1
~ NE evening two weeks ago Mr.:
Bowser came home from the
Office to find Mrs. Bowser seat
s ed on the piano and the cook
standing up on the sofa. One was
armed with the broom and the other
with an old curtain pole, and on the
face Of each was a look that she would
sell her life dearly.
q what in thunder does all this
meanY' shouted Mr.. Bowser as he
paused in the door of.the sitting room.
"Ratsr' answered Mrs. Bowser.
3 teWhat sort Of an answer is that?
Come down from that piano! By the
great John Henry, has my house been
turned into an insane asylum"
sMr. Bowser, there are rats in the
house." explained Mrs. Bowser as she
got down. "Cook saw three Of them
IN the kitchen an hour ago."
s "And one of 'em snapped at me like
q. mad wolf," added the pride Of the
kitchen as she also reached the floor.
ST don't believe a word of it! There
isn'ta rat within mile Of the house
and hasn't been for twenty years.
Come right downstairs, both of you.
Now, show me a rat. Go right at it
and show me a rat!'
tI think thev came up out Of the eel
lar" said. Mrs. Bowser. Il didn't see
one myself, but T heard them pattering
across the foor."
Sure There Were No Rats.
Pattering nothing! Cook never even
saw mouse She might possibly have
seen a cockroach strolling about, but
I doubt that. Get dinner on the table
within ten minutes or there'I be some
thing worse than rats around the
house! By George, but what fools
women can make of themselves"
At the dinner table Mrs. Bowser
said:
'T am sorry you talked so bluntly to
cook. She isn't a girl easily frightened,
and am quite sure she saw at least
one rat. She says three. She came
running upstairs and said they were
after her, and so ] got scared
ssMrs. Bowser, didn't you hear me
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
Corrected Him.

A reporter was once interviewing
Thomas A. Edison.
"And you. sir" he said to the in
ventor, made the first talking ma
chineT'
mo" Mr.. Edison replied, 1.-The first
one was made long before my time
out Of q rib"
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
A Little Girls Importance.

Grandma Gnlpatiently) - Dorothy, I
do wish you would keep quiet for a
little while.
Dorothy - III try, grandma, but
please don't scold me. Just remember
that if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't
be a grandma at all.-Chicago Record
Herald.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
Thres Not Of a Kind.

Sir Henry Names famous political
diagnosis Is worth quoting. The king
Of England reigns, but does not gov
ern. The president Of the United
States governs. but does not reign.
The president of France neither seigns
nor soverns.-Boston Herald
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
Many Caught.
Matrimony Is like a rainstorm
only bad when you're caught
in it-Detroit Free Press.
Honeymoon Over.

Honeymoon Over.
Mrs. Newedd pouting)-You are not
like Kate's husband. He won't let his
wife do bit Of heavy lifting.
Newedd-But I can't always be at
home when you take your bread out OF
the oven.-Boston Transcript.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
liz &&ro~ eacA

His Strong Face.
"Bilkein's 1s strong face or I'm ne
Judge Of physiognomy."
ut ought to be. He and hts whole
family are living: on tt"-Buhale
Courier. -
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04

obsdieace ID net truly performed BY
the body Of him whose heart h DIS
satisAed.-6aaH
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
The Way Il Goes Now.

The Way II Goes Now.
The greatest novel Of the age
Wonder Of the nation;
An the rage, sir. all tho rage
Th!sss tho whole ceeattonl
,s' IS
Critics praise on every hand
Speed the authors miesion;
Hundred thousand copies and
Neither big edition! :
Auther@publishers rejoioe--
Live on milk and honeyt
'Is Il eenius1" pipes q voice.
Genius? No, It's money!"
ATLANTA Constitution
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1911-10-04
Usual Reason.

"He used to be q straight enough
young chap. What made him get
crooked?'
Trying to make both ends meet,
beifeye"-Toledo Blade.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1911-10-19
SHARED PUPPY's HOT COAT
Story About William 3. Mckinley
That Reveals the Wealthy Con.
ge4ssman's Kindly Heart.

Although William B. Mckinley Of
Illinois Is almost the wealthiest men,
Der in congress. he is one Of the quiet
est and. most unassuming of men.
Those who know him at close range
tell many story of his kindly heart
and generous nature.
Zone hot day." says man associa-
ted with Mr.. Mckinley in business.
I'VE were at work in the office when
a little dog came sneaking in to escape
the misery Of blistering sidewalks. A
worse specimen Of tatterdemalion dog
I never saw. It was mud-stained and
owned a bushy. unkempt coat that
made hot weather a horror to it. It's
ears were ragged, and there was q
hunted. homeless look In its pathetic
eyes. It turned these pathetic eyes on
Mckinley. who was trying to catch up
with Ahard days work. In few min
utes he laid down his pen. left the
room and returned with a bowlful Of
water. l. was called away When !
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1911-10-19
IT WAS THE PROPERTY LIME
Bartender Admits It Was Filled With
Lemon Juice for Each
Gin Hickey.

The consumer Of the gin rickey,
who knew all there was to know about
gin rickeys. detected something wrong
about the taste Of the one he was
drinking. Study Of the matter told
him that. instead Of lime Juice, 1t was
favored with the Juice Of the lemon.
But no! There. in the glass. uncom.
promisingly green and genuine, was
half q lime.
Still. there was something wrong.
After taking two or three additional
sips he decided to speak about it to
the bartender.
isn't there lemon Juice in this rick
cyl" he inquired.
The bartender realized that before
him waaeone who could not be bluffed.
There u.s." he confessed, shame.
facedly. "You see, we ran out Of
lines long ago. 80 each time rickoy'a
ordered We take that half lime In your
glass. squeeze It full Of lemon Juice to
freshen Il up. and serve the drink"
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1911-10-19

came back l found the congressman
with a newspaper spread over his
knees, and upon it stood that dog. A
pair Of scissors which had cut of mil.
lions Of dollars in coupons was shear.
ing away at the ragged coat Of the
wretched little beast, which was look.
ing up with almost human gratitude In
its pathetic eyes.
"What are you doing?' asked.
Tn getting the hot coat of this
poor little pup. He's in misery an.
swered the congressman, in his quiet
way.
"Since that day Mckinley has had Q
shadow in the shape Of small mon,
grel that any dog fancier would cast
outside the pale Of classified canines.s
-Leslie's.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1911-10-19
Next Attractlon-Oct. 9th,
"The Sunny Side of Broad
way" A Big Musical Comedy.
Sale Of Land.

NOTICE is HEREBY GIVEN. That under
authority of an order of sale granted by the
Honorable George VanArnan,, Judge of the
County Court of the County of Riehland, in
the State of North Dakota, dated the 10th day
of October, A. D. 1911 the undersigned, the
Guardian of the Estate of Albert F. Bader
and Grace F. Bader, minors. of the City Of
Wahpeton, county of Richland and State of
North Dakota, will sell at private sale to the
highest bidder. for cash or equivelant subject
to confirmation by the Judge of ssid county
court, the following described land. to.wit:
The undivided one half interest of said
minors, Albert F. Bader ana Grace f. Bader
in and to the southeast quarter of section
fourteen l141. in township number one hun.
dred and thirty.two 1881 North. of range
forty.nine l49l west, of the fifth principal
meridian, of Richland county. North Dakota,
excepting therefrom three acres of land, de.
scribed as follows: commencing at the north.
west corner of the southeast quarter, run.
ming thence south thirty.three 1881 rods;
thence east ten Ito! rods; Themes north thirty
two 1927 rods; thence east one hundred and
fifty rods. to the section line, thence north
one III rod; thence west along the quarter
section line one hundred and sixty rods, to
the place Of beginning.
The sale will be made on or after the 18th
day of November. A. D. 1911.
All bids must be in writing, and may be left
| at the law Office OF Gustav Schiller, In the
city Of Wahpeton, North Dakota, or filed with
the Judge Of said county court, or delivered
to the undersigned personally.
CHRIST HOFFMAN,, Guardian of
the estate of Albert Bader
and Grace F. Bader, Minors.
Dated October 10Th. 1911. A. d.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1911-10-19
Mre. Comstock vac in from
the farm q couple of DAYS this

Mre. Comstock vas in from
the farm a couple of days this
week.
For fire, tornado or wind.
storm insurance. See Wolfe
& Schneider.
Walt Pelham aud Tom Par.
kill autoed up from Fairmount
Monday.
1t costs no more than tin.
That Enameled Ware at Con-
molly Bros.
Olof Gotaas of Walcott was
transacting business IN the
city Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs. g. J. Johnson
are rejoicing over the arrival of
a big baby boy.
The Woman's Literary eocie.
ty will meet with Mrs. w, r.
.Rurdon-, Fsiday.-s -..,----e~~
w. S. Hurry Of Forman was
in the city Tuesday. He was
on his way to the twin cities.
Mrs. Mamie Stern Birnberg
of st. Paul, is visiting at the
home of her parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. A. Stern.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joyce and Mrs.
Willard are nicely settled in
their new home on the corner
Of third street and Wisconsin
Ave.
Attorney Forbes and family
have been entertaining a
couple of Mr.. Forbes nephews,
from Vancouver, Wash. They
were here over Sunday.
The Congregational Ladies'
Aid met Wednesday afternoon
with Mesdams Hull, Stern and
Bailey at the home of Mrs.
Bailey.
The Catholic Ladies will have
their annual sale of aprons and
fancy articles and will serve
dinner and supper at Forester
Hall Thursday, Oct. Goth.
Everybody invited. Price &c.
Judge .VanArnam attended Q
Christian Endeavor banquet at
the Barrie church last Satur-
day night. This society has
| $50 members one of the largest
in the state.
Attorneys Wolfe & Schnelltl
have begun two actions against
the N. r. Railroad Co. In one
they have sued the railroad
company for damages on &C
count of the death of MIR
Skauge, killed in the N. p
yards some months ago. The
other is an action of DR.. Kauf.
mans. He sued for damage
that he sustained from q de.
fective sidewalk on the com.
panies property at Mooreton.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1911-10-19

Mrs. Wood of Crookston is
visiting with her sister, Mre.
Glasgow.
Fur robes repaired and lined
at the Fur Store. A. Oxman
Prop.
Pres. Smith attended a teach.
ers institute in Forman last
week.
The N. P. Club will meet
next Monday night with Mr..
and Mrs. Joseph Patterson
Mres Forkner spent Sunday
at the State ~" with her
daughter Donna.
DIR. Gilbreath, dentist has re
moved his Office to the Schiller
block. Phone 50.
The Royal Neighbors will
meet next Wednesday after.
noon with Mrs. Fligelman.
Gus Zeigleman, a professor
in the Cakes school, took in the
foot ball game here last Satur-
day.
Albert Schneider takes orders
for all kinds of jewlery. Get
his prices and learn how much
he can save you.
Mr.. and Mrs. Arch Dada left
Tuesday by auto for Lisbon
where they will attend the
wedding of cousin.
A Co. I foot ball team played
Fargo College in Fargo last
Monday afternoon. The score
was "a ia o iu favor of Fargo.
Fred aacket of AbercrOmb bic
and now student at the A. C..
played with that team in their
game with the S. S. S. last Sat-
urday.
E. c. Estes is closing out the
Vertin Brothers stock of cloth.
ing and furnishing. Money is
scarce, much of it is going very
cheap, but it is all to be sold.
The Catholic ladies would be
pleased if all who wiehed to
donate an apron or other arti.
cles for the sale would leave
them at the Forester Hall or
Mrs. Hingtgen's, Thursday,
Oct. Goth.
DR.. Fitzgerald, who has had
twelve years of practical exper.
fence and formerly demonstra-
ton of clinical operative der.
tistry in the dental department
of the State University OF
II inois is now located over the
Boston store.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1911-10-19
A, Strateaist.

A strateaist.
my baby cries all night. II don't
know what to do with it,
I'LL tell you what did. AS soon az
our baby commenced to cry used to
turn on all the gas. That fooled him.
he thought it was bread daylight and
went to sleep.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1911-10-19


Frank Mitzel autoed over
from Great Bend Monday.
Its the best in town. That
Enameled Ware at Connolly
Bros.
FOR SAkE--sO. tons of good
hay in stack, if bought at once.
A. ] Heine, Wahpeton, N. d.
Mr.. Schunan cam. down
from Fargo with the A c. boys
last Saturday.
A fresh. supply Of Johnstons
fine chocolates just received at
Sheppard & Hatch's.
Miss Jennie Morley has re.
sumed her duties at the tele
phone office Monday after a
three weeks vacation.
If you want a farm loan a
the chea oest rate and best
privileges. Write or see Wolfe
& Schneider.
Miss Mabel Tonev, one of the
successful teachers of the
Wyndmere Village School, was
in the city last Saturday.
We will give a reasonable
discount on all cash sales fer
one week at the L. ]. Schanhaar
store, Breckenridge, Mimi.
Mrs. Hessmer of Three Riv-
ers, Mich, reached Wahpeton
last week. She will spend the
winter with her daughter, Mrs.
Gas Cow.
The VIM. H. White Lumber
Co.. are head quarters for hard
and soft coal. We have a stock
Of Pea Coal which is cheaper
than other sizes of Anthracite
Coal. ]. J. Hull, Age mt.
Read Vertin Brothers add on
another page of this paper they
are agoing to. close out their
mems clothing and furnishing,
the room is needed for other
lines.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1911-10-19

Doubts of Their Existence.
"Of course you admit that no self.
respecting man would associate with q
wife beaten"
"Of course" replied Mr.. Meekton,
timidly. But, do you know, I'd like
to see one. just out Of curiosity"
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-01-10

Bulk goods Duffey's Cider Co., Ro.
chester, N. Y. oFund to contain 1888
per cent benzoate of soda, and not so
labeled. Illegal.
75O3-Cream of Rye. Minneapolis
Cereal Co., Minneapolis, MINI. Short
weight. Misbranded.
75O4-Tomatoes Full Standard. Red
Cord brand. Fargo Nero. Co., Fargo,
N. D. Short weight and not stand
ard. Misbranded.
75O5-Corn Meal Dwight's Cold
en- Corn Meal. Dwight M. Baldwin
Jr, Minneapolis, MINI. Weight not
shown. Supposed to be 10 pounds,
short weight. Illegal.
75OS-Tomato Catsup. Superior
brand. L. M. Park Co., st. Paul and
Minneapolis, MINI. Labeled to con-
tain 10 of per cent benzoate of
soda, and found to contain is per
cent. Illegal.
751O-Tomato Ketchup. Blue label.
Curtice Bros, Rochester, N. Y. Con-
tains .176 per cent benzoate of soda.
Illegal.
7512-Butter. Sent in by A. w.
Rice, Forest River, N. D. Contains
4O.5 per cent water. illegal.
7517-Salad Dressing. The Horton
Cato Mfg. Co., Detroit, Mich. Con-
tains sodium benzoate and weight not
shown. Illegal.
1O63-Duffey's Apple Juice, Steril-
lied. American Fruit Products Co.,
Rochester, N. Y. Measure not shown.
Supposed to be one quart; contains
248 Ozs. Misbranded.
1064-Duffey's Cider, Sterilized.
American Fruit Products Co., Rochest-
er, N. Y. Measure not shown Con-
tains sodium benzoate .0S per cent.
Illegal.
l, I. w. Healy, auditor of Burleigh
county, N. D., hereby certify that the
above is true and correct copy OF
the list of adulterated food products
and beverages as certified to by E.
F. Ladd, food commissioner, to the
best Of my knowledge and belief
I. w. HEALY,
County Auditor
(1-1O, II, "a, 3D.