Arizona republican., 1911-01-20
OFFICERS EXPERIENCE WITH 4 GENTLE BURRO POLICEMAN BILL BRADLEY HAS
 HIS TROUBLES. 1t Looked Like He Had Forgotten What He Learned in Corre-
 spondence School.

! | looking pocket knife it would never have been necessary for Officer John
 Long to throw him into the city bas- | tile. Then, of course, it would not | have fallen to Officer Bill Bradley to | go and hunt Uncle Macks burro. And | if Uncle Mack, when he tied up his | Rocky Mountain Canary. had hung
 his spurs on the saddlehorn instead
 of wearing them to the saloon and to
 jail, it would have helped lot
 When Uncle Mack isn't on a tenn perance crusade he is absorbing the visible supply of barbed wire. Wed nesday night he happened to be de voting his attention to the latter oc- cuption and as a result he had an argument with someone over the mod ern system of education, the pro posed Russian invasion of India. man ! touring as an occupation for young women. or something like that Un-
 cle Mack was pretty well lighted up and drew his knife, Policeman Long
 happened along about that time and
 he. escorted Uncle to jail His spurs
 made a lot of noise on the cement
 sidewalk but Mack refused to take Aiitiil tlis uftldIlllS lildl they were
 an indispensable part of his attire
 After he had been turned loose in
 the bullpen, Uncle Mack raised a howl about his burro. He had tied him up somewhere around town-he
 couldn't exactly remember where
 and was afraid the poor brute would
 starve while his master was languish-
 ing in durance vile.
 So Bradley started out to look for
 the tin can consumer. He finally To-
 cated him at the court house and
 started to ride him to Charles Rear
 ley's stable. at First and Adams
 streets
 Now Bradley is from Chicago and
 burros are not quite the proper thing on Lake Shore drive. But Bradley is trying hard to get over being ten derfoot and thought that he would
 make hit by riding Uncle Mack's saddle horse as though he had been a wild and woody weSterner all his life. To be sure. the burro was not quite as fast as a limousine car or d fire engine but that didn't trouble Bradley. He knew that the longer time the trip required the longer would be be the center of attraction in the gay night life of Phoenix
 There was little argument at Center and Washington. There was no need of turning north for another block but for some mysterious reason Bradley wanted to go up Center In the end he had his way but before he did get started north he learned something about the toughness of a burro's mouth
 In front of Gass Bros restaurant Jack stopped, looked around at his rider and then prayed. If Bradley had been acquainted with the burro language he would have known that that bray meant coffee and sinkers." Anybody more than six months away from Chicago should have known it. but Bradley didn't. Instead of com ing through like gentleman and buying supper he kicked his burro- ship in the ribs and recited a verse from the twenty third chapter of Ac- cidents. which is something like this:
 And the Lord spake until Pete Kitchen. saying: Blessed be the burrro that sticks around camp. but the burro that stops not nor stays not except upon command of his master shall be thrice blessed and his is the kingdom of heaven"
 Then there was a lot of other things Bradley said but they were not scriptural quotations
 A crowd began to gather Every one had some kind of a suggestion to make A stray chauffeur wanted to know if Bradley hadn't forgotten to shove in the spark plug Somebody else yelled that it was the burro's turn to ride.
 Oh, the cruelty of man. Some. 1 good. true friend of Bradley's dived l with the night cashier The young | lady was much distressed to observe | the young policeman's plight
 Did you ever make a special study | of managing burros. Mir BradIey?" | she asked timidly.
 "Of course; I took a course in | Sears Roebuck and company's cor respondence school he replied. dig | ging his heels into the stubborn | beasts Hanks. There was a slight | twitching of the burros ears. as though there was a fly somewhere behind that he was too lazy to brush off
 It was an automobile that saved Bradleys disposition from eternal wreckage. The machine chugged along up Center street. and the driver blew the horn. But little thing like an auto horn didn't bother Uncle Mack's | private steed He stood as pat as a Rhode Island senator
 Then something struck him just | above the hooks and he sat back on he radiator. The auto propelled him gently forward. He stuck out his ront feet and plowed two long trenches in the thick mud Bradley II vas the only one that looked like le was enjoying himself The driver vas swearing and the burro was probably thinking lot of profanity.
 Not until he was half way to Ad- ms street did the burro make a jump md get out of the way And then le kept on going. His last chance or coffee and sinkers had disappear d and he had to be content with ommon alfalfa hay out of a bale. PILES CURED IN 6 TO f4 DAYS. our druggist will refund money if 'AZO OINTMENT fails to cure any