Yellowstone monitor. [volume] (Glendive, Mont.) 1905-1928, 1911-02-16
RUSSIA'S JESTER.
BaIakireff Is the Joe Miller OF the
Muscovites.
HIS WIT TIcKLEs THE BEAR.

He Was the Court Fool That Many a
Time Rraved the Anger of Peter the
Great-tlis Miracle Of the Sword and
Wondrous Deed of Daring.
Every nation has it's typical Jester,
around whom crystalline all the float
inc stories of a people. Thus England
has it's Joe Miller, Germany It's LII
Eulenspiegel, Italy its Punchinello, the
orient its Nasreddin Ell khoja ana
Russia it's Ba1akireff. Like Joe MIL
Ter, the last was real character,
though not all the jokes credited TO
him were his own. Some were inven-
tons of a later age; others were Dor
rowed from the past. He shares the
credit for many of the latter with Joe
Miller and EulenSpiegel.
History records that Balakiref was
the fayorite jester Of Peter the Great.
Tradition represents him as the con-
slant company of that car, frequent
ly exercising his wit at royal expense.
One day, for example, cousin OF his
had fallen under the czar's displeasure
and was sentenced TO death. Balaki-
ref undertook to obtain reprleve.
The ear guessed his errand even be
fore he opened his mouth.
Nor he cried s''Tis no use your
coming here / swear that [ will not
grant what you are going to ask.'
Ba1akireff dropped at once to his
knees. peter Alexeiyitch," he cried,
II pray you, put to death that scamp
of a cousin Of mine.'
Peter, thus caught in his own trap,
had no choice but to laugh and send
a pardon to the culprit.
On another occasion Balakireff ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
his masters domestic guards. Peter
consented for the sake Of the joke,
but warned his jester that death was
the penalty if any officer Of the
guards absented himself from his post
or mislaid his sword. Then to test
the volunteer he sent him up a fagon
of wine to ttmoisten his commission
Balakireff, as was expected, drank to
the intoxicating point. While he was
sleeping off his debauch the car HIM
self crept into the room and carried
off his sword from the scabbard. Bala-
kfreff, though badly scared, on awak'
ing made shift to replace the missing
weapon with his own wooden imita-
ton of the guardsmen's sword. He
was called to parade next morning,
when Peter feigned hot indignation
at the untidiness Of one of the guards.
Captain Balakireff,'' he cried at last,
draw your sword and cut off the head
of that sloven!'
BalalSiref cast his eyes up to heay-
en-. "Oh, merciful Cod he prayed,
grant that my sword may turn into
wood before I use it on one Of my own
fellow soldiers
And, 10, when he unsheathed it the
blade stood revealed as a wooden one.
Peter laughed heartily at the knave's
presence of mind and restored him to
favor.
A more serious offense resulted in
the Punishment OF the jester Never
dare to appear again on Russian soilr'
stormed the emperor Judge then OF
Peters surprise when, a week later,
he beheld his old fayorite coolly driy-
ing a cart past the palace.
How dare you disobey meY' shout
ed the enraged monarch. Did / not
forbid you ever to show yourself on
Russian soil?'
NAY" replied Balakireff, II have
not disobeyed you This is not Rus
sian soil.''
How say you-not Russian soil?'
s'Truly not This carload OF earth
on which I am sitting is Swedish soil
I dug it up in Finland only the other
day
Again the ear laughed uproariously
and readmitted his buffoon to favor
Some historians add that when he
heard the excuse he said, IF Finland
be Swedish soil now it shall be Rus
sian before long" a threat he was not
slow to fulfill
This story. however, was an old one
long before the time Of Balakireff. Tt
forms the tWenty-seventh adventure
of Till Eulenspiegel, who is reputed to
have died ii 1850 Having offended
the Duke OF Nuremberg, Till was s.for-
hidden the land" He purchased shil-
ling's worth Of earth to fill his cart
with, and, being duly challenged BY the
duke, he answered:
My gracious lord, I am not In your
land, but in mine own, wherein / do
sit. | bought it Of boor for a shil-
ling And rightfully could he sell it.
for from his forefathers he inherited
It: So is this truly my land
At the close of one of Car Peters
campaigns Balakireff overheard some
RUSSIAN officers boasting OF EXPLOITS
they had performed.
Nay he cried, Il can tell a better
story than any of you.'' And. being
pressed for the story, he continued.
Never have liked this modern way
OF lighting al in a body together