davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05
Selecting a Wife
by DOROTHY DIX,

be independent or clinging, sensible or
fool broad minded or narrow and pre-
JUDGED, thrifty or a spendthrlft, is already
settled. son, and no mere man can alter
the verdict. She's there to take or leave
but she is there.
One could laugh at your own particular
dilemma, were not your case so typical
of the many matrimonial tragedies that
result from man marrying the kind of u
girl he doesn't want instead OF the sort
OF u one he does, and then quarrelng
with her ever after because she isn't
something that she never pretended to be.
In your case you have drawn the
picture of an ultra-modernist girl. A
girl who is independent intelligent. self
wllled and determined. There's nothing
wrong about her. She has as much right
to her political opinions as you have to
yours II she prefers to wear sensible,
comfortable clothes. instead Of lacing her
self into tight fronts, she certainly has
common sense and hygiene on her side of
the question. And surely the woman who
must bear children should even have the
privilege of deciding that important prob
lem of married life.
1t seems to me that she has played
ldlI III iClNlnk you sac RNaCIN the sort
of wife she would make and it's IN
to you to beat mastery retreat on the
safe side of the altar, simply and
solely because this girl with her adj
.vapced ideas isn't the sort OF "a wife you
! want
! What YOU are looking for is a sweet.
fluffy headed little creature, who dotes
on dolling herself up; and who will sit
I d VOur fpot and oh ,.ott xubat t.a,,
she thinks about everything from politics
! 10 pie,
III my opinion the reason there Is go
much domestic misery all about as is
chiefly because 80 many men do the
thing you are tempted to co-narry
women who are one thing and then ex-
! pect them TO be something else We
| should think man a candidate for a
luratic asylum II he bought a grand
/ piano. and then complained because Il
was not n cook stove when he got I.
/ home.
Iut that is no more unreasonable than
for a man to marry girl because she Is
a beautiful butterfly OF fashion, and then
| blame her because she is not thrifty.
! hard-working domestic wife. Nor Is II
/ more ridiculous than for man to pick
out a professional woman, who has
achieved success in some calling on
which she has put years of study ana
effort, and then feel himself III used be-
cause she does not want TO Give up her
Network and become q darner OF stock,
ingg,
Yet we see these III assorted matches
| medO daily when the men might Just as
well have picked out the kind OF a wife
they wanted in the first place.
The attraction that draws people o:
! opposite tastes and temperament to-
gether doesn't las. The only tie tina;
en6ures is of similarity, The people we
Hike best are those who are most lkC
ourselves and who agree with us instead
Of contradicting us.
This being true, when YOU marry sua
pick out a woman who rides the same
hobbies YOU d.. Thus shall you amblc
along peacefully, side by side, throuz,
life.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05
New Booster for Romance

A charming romance has ended at
Brewster, wash, IN the marriage of
Philip Strange ana Miss Helen McGraw.
the wedding being locally styled 'upion
OF tho washington State Potato King
and the Turkey Queen of the Northwest"
Mr. Strange last year sent a special
train Of forty cars OF potatoes to eastern
inarkets-the first exclusive potato trEln
to cross tho continent. This year he in
creased his potato area to $500 acres, and
his crop Is in the hundreds OF thousands
OF bushels.
Miss McGraw Tor years had taught
country schools in tho vicinity Of this
town, but two years ago began to raise
turkeys FOR the market. The land she Sc
lected for her turkey ranch adioined the
potato Farm Of Strange. Here the ro-
nance started.
During the laR summer scourge OF
bugs Iaided the potato fields and Strange
f1resaW that unless lie fought the bugs
his crop would be lost About this time a
drou5h spoiled tho feeding grounds OF
Miss McGraws turkey farm. The grass
and alfalfa fields dried Up, and insects acr
cgsto.lcd to Turk thereia vanished.
Unable to find food at home, the horde
of several thousand half-syown and half
fclisLed turkeys Invaded the potato field
I OF The potato King. The potato bugs de-
creased IN aumbcr every day as the vora-
cious turkeys advanced through the long.
! straight roWs At night tbs poultry rested
beneath the vines, and al daybreak again
continued the onslaught against the
plague Of bugs. when August came and
with Il nice waTm rains. the potato fields
| fresheaed uP, and the biggest crop OF
tubers ever harvested maturee.
The turkeys were 10th TO leave the po-
ta,o fields, and Miss McGrsw and strangs
held seYeyni COUNCILS 10 plan methods to
got the turkeys back to their home land
IL was finally decided to let turkeys and
potatoes remain on the same farm. and
the result was the wedding.--raeoma
Ledger.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05
The Fable of the Wise Dame
By Tad
BY DOROTHY DIN.

This greatly puzzled his friends, most
OF whom had wives and troubles OF their
own, and they begged him TO tell them
how he had managed TO put It over his
spouse so successfully.
when / married." replied the man,
81 knew that l should be handed COM
plete codo OF conduct, and ru I did not
desire TO take part in perpetual family,
Joint debate, ! apparently accepted It
without murmur. elso decided that
Il would be less painful 70 Gpread the
salve than 20 bump into my wife's
rock-bound consciencp. Furthermore,
! was wise that the only things a woman
doesn't worry over are those that she
does not know, 80 II Is foolish and un-
kind TO put her hep TO too much,
MY wife IL, therefore, satisfied that
do not play the market, or sit in little
game. nor buy drinks for the boys be-
cAuFe | could not do Il on the chicken
feed she permits me 20 carry in my
pocket, but II has not occurred 20 her
that l really tote my roll In the sweat
band of my hat. She also opens the
door for me without kick when l re-
turn home in the early morning because
she Is satisfied that man who does not
care TO own a latch key only stays out
at night when compelled to by business
Neither am l chump enough to ever
remark ON another woman's pulchritude
IN her presence; and, because she 81 sure
that 1 would not notice the venus Dc
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05

fear that IN timo an existence devoted
solely TO tho pursuit OF the pure, the
beautiful and tho good will get on YOU
nerves"
1T IL true" replied the youth. slowly
eleyatpg The lid OF his left orb, that
do not sport any fringe as shinins
example TO youth, nor am ] a top
notnher IN tho wisdom push; never
thslcs1 1 think that | stand TO win
out IN this deal
Il opine that the Tess a wife knows
the eaEier mark sho is. and that work
ing II household angel ~ IKE playing
with marked cardg. | shall not OPP
pose my wife In her sacred Esalon of
makiuC over the universe On the
contrary I shall encourage her TO con
,iaus 10 devote herself to the nltruls-
&c occupation OF reforming public
Rbusss
'Iror Il doc1 not get past me that
! when sac is momoriallzng congress- 10
abolish rnloons ur SUPPRESS polygamy
among tho sulus she VIII net have
leisure IN which TO observe that / oo-
caEtonally vary tho monotony OF the
| firoside by opening bottles OF wealthy
water Tor chorus girls
| Now, az room az the nuptisl knot
was tied the wife proceeded 20 try out
/ her theories on how to bring a hus.
/ band up by ha@d
II hold" she said, that It Ia wife.
duty TO liit her husband up to her own
exalted level, uEd 10 help him q
overcome lbs weaknesses, 80 1 shall pul
the double cross on all OF his former
amusements. Gpprehoud that # s.
! sinful 10 burn uP good money IN cigars
when there arc 20 many great cause.
need ne funds. Moreover, Il a. the pos
session o. mougs ia his pockets that GETS
masculine creature into trouble, and
there Is ro ota.e auch protection ggGins
temptation Cs lot 90 have TIE Ir.co.
/ NFCICupon The wige went Through nc,
Ihueba.G'a C.otheJ every night and re
lIoyed him ot eysrS ,hiuE but carlage
She also refused to lot HIM carry
latch Lay lest 70 might lead hin int
staying out late az night. ana when uns
OF his old friends called IN tho even
Ing tho only refreshments she seryeS
was cold shoulder. Also when the!
met @ real girHe-girlie. all dolied up I,
XIII. she made her husband turn hii
head tho other way ana walk baoR
ward.
Notwithstanding all OF these homi
rules 1t was observed that the mar
preserved q gay and Joyous demeanor
and altogether tho wife always spelled I,
other women about how she manage,
her husband, It seemed to his old pal
that they mat hlm on the sreat whit
way about as often as formerly.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05

once upon time there was serious
young creature who believed that her
sex had a sacred mission to police the
world and that man got married TO
get someone to reform him.
Sho was one OF those admirable girls
with three story forehcadg who are
tho goods as domestic angels, and who
wear high neck gowns to parties, and
are down on all scrapping matches eX'
cept church quarrels.
In spite, however, OF being topheayy
with virtues the maid was good
looker ell right, all right, aad as hor
lamented father had left her a pile Of
silt edge securities the size OF II trunk,
courageous youth wooed and won her
as his bride.
This greatly alarmed his friends, who
feared for his safety In the penal servi-
tude for life domestiolty that the lady
was apt Co serve out, and 80 they went
to him and thus addressed him:
without doubt" they said, your
flancee is a lulu and a honey, and you
are fortunate to have won so noble n
wife, but do you feel that YOU are fitted
for the higher life. and tuned up "a
the high G pitch In which she wabbles
We apprehend that your recent refor'
nation was merely cGmpaign PROMISE
that doesn't go after election, and that
your good resolves are no thicker thai
the gliding on the gold brick that yov
are handing the lady. Therefore. WI
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05
Mothers of NAMES
By FRANCEs l. GARsDE.N

\ mothers devotion Is the loftiest trait
the world ever knew; even tho cynlc1
who desp.se every human relationship
admit II, And the world while prais ny
this trait OF supcThuman sacrifice and
love In loud voice, is just as unanimous
in declaring, I'm lover tones. that il is
also at times the gfeatest bore.
woman appears at a card party, late
nCstered and out OF breath because Of
some demands made by her daughter
Mamie, and she begins her game with
her mind filled with Mamie, and sand
wlokes every deal. interrupts every play
and fsrgsts her own turn. In eonyersa-
ton devoted TO Mamie.
The length OF NAMES new skirt. what
Mamie wants for Christmas, the name
VI Nantes new dog, the color Of Mamie
new hat what Mamie says when she
fist goes to bed Mamie, Mamie, Mamie,
uatl the three women playing with the
raotheF don't know II they are playing
bridge. noker, thumbs up, OF Mamie. and
II the Jack is the high card out. OF II il
Mamie
Mamie Is dealt with every hand, Mamie
= served vita the rsfreshmsnts. Mamie
"a eished up again when the tables are
cltarsd and II the players progress e
another table Mamie moves with them.
Mamie psrcolates all through the room
an the guests begin to envy the mait
out In the kitchen; she MAJ have hel
hands In dlshwater and act get enough
wages 70 buy new hair more than twiel
q week, but az least she can wash dishes
-s~''' che feeling that she IL Washini
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05

unless your iden of matrimony is drawn
battle instead of grand, sweet song.
Two people whose opinions and. tastes
are as antagonistic as yours and this
girls could no more get along peaceably
together than fire and water.
And, the pity of 1t is that old mother
nature, who concerns herself with the
good of the race and not the happiness
Of the Individual, almost invariably
gives to men and women endowed with
these opposite characteristics, fatal fas.
CITATION for each other, so that they
marry each other and live scrapplly ever
afterward - .-
Don't be misled, son. into believing that
marriage Is some sort of magic sooShWs
syrup that softens down all tho dngles
in peoples dispositions, and makes those
who have always disagreed on every sub
tect able TO agree as coon as the knot io
tied, .... ,.-
Take Il from me as a sure tip that the
matrimonial yoke isn't a patent adjust
able collar. It's the most stiff aud un-
Welding stock that was. ever invented,
and the most liable to gall Also, people
are not changed by having the marriage
service read over them. As they were
before wedlock in character and DISPOSE
ton. so they are in wedlock. Only q
LITTLE moro So
Therefore, If you wish to be hanpy
though married, pick out the kind OF q
wife you want instead OF marrying thf
one who is exactly the sort of woman
you don't approve OF, and then trying &c
make her over into your IDEAL Believe
me, that is painful process, the END
whereof Is generally Reno.
OF course, II Is part OF every man:
vanity 90 believe that his wife IS goins
TO be as plastic as clay I'm his hands
and that he can mold her character 4
suit his own fancy. Never was there 4
greater fallacy on earth than this b
the time a cir! IS old enough to marry
she has hardened into the sort oG
woman she is going to be, and You coull
change the color of her eyes or the shap,
OF her face easier than you could he
, tastes and beliefs and standards Of con
duct.
The question Of whether she IS going t,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05
by GARY DEsLYs.

by GARY DEsLNS.
stretched. Il was called one Of hcr
rads. but Il was really Che best possible
way Of fighting tho double chin she %
feared Her collars were very carefully
bonsd and fitted and finighed at the
top with a kind OF ruching, a bias band
Of material which was help Up b. q
little silver wire There was nothing soft
o. yielding about this Cpllar-eNce2t tha
look OF IT, It was really tlsht Wee
like affair ard she only thing you could
90 in q was 40 hold your head VI hishe,
-stn, which shq d.d Always the head
very hgh-thai "a tae sesret oi a youth
fu neck and can.
You never even seen a picture Of Perm
hardt with her head down, and / doubt
II she ever bends It unless che has e
when she IL playing. Stretching the neck
exercising Il backward and forward viii
he.2 reduce n double chin and go VIII
massage or She application of coap"osse.
OF very hot water alternating with veFy
cold, bet. OF sh thinss. Just Holding The
chin very high Ia the air Is the best. aud
& Is something that ecu can co at a.!
times.
There Is another reason why Il Is wei
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05

Mamie.
The mothers of NAMES trot out their
NAMES in their conversation at teas and
receptions. They interrupt the dry goods
clerks in their measurings with anecdotes
about Mamie, and the butcher hears so
much Of her he chops al his boael
yiciously
HNat a great trait Is mother love. and
whom she mother Is a mother like
Mamie's, how much greater II is whea
s@~ 0Uay!
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05
He Felt u.

tie FeAt IT,
Foot bali" cried the OLD gentleman in
the Red Lion smoke ROOM rs a sin and
a disgrace. Foot ball he continued,
humping the table with his fist, is an
abomination and a blot on civilization.
The very name OF foot ball" he shouted,
sweeping two glasses and a pot off the
board In his excitemeat-"the very name
of foot ball - enough to make decent,
respectable man go and hang himself out
Of pure diEgust"
The gentleman seems 10 feel rather
deeply on the subject" said a CONNER
eisl traveller. who had been listening "a
his remarks.
"Ie DO assented o9e Of the natives.
HAS be lost soraetHing az a match ~
Inquired the commercial traveller
''He ave so. 'Ad O relative killed al
one" replied the other, oTaeuiavly.
what relative vas lt?" asked tbs
Qusrist
us wifs's first husband, was the re
Spouse.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05

everything Of which
] dlsapproye
she Is mann sh
in dress and walk,
while ! like a vo-
man 70 glide and
wear fr.lly clothes.
she carries a
pight key, and
comes home when
she likes. while /
think a woman
should be a cling
ing vine.
she thinks a
married couple fool
ish TO have children
Tor ten years,
while ! just dote
On babes.
Ought l to mar
~ her?"
Certainly not son,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05

MORAL--ThIs fable teaches two things:
First. that the henpecked husband is q
fly bird when he gets away from his own
roost; and, Secondly. that no woman
can keep up with a man. and she Is silly
to get gray headed attempting the Job.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05

A perplexed Brooklyn youth torn be-
tween conflicting emotions, writes me;
81 am in sorry straits. am engaged to
a young lady who IL a red hot suffFe-
gette | love her deeply, but she does
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05

milo n l met her coming down the pike,
| am enabled to employ a stenographer
who is. peaeherno. Thus, by this dis
Greet line OF conduct, | enjoy peace at
homo and fun abroad"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05
lEkNE THAT WOMAN DEL!

| IN A STApLE boV NOW
HkiHA GEE ITS SOFT
IN Up AT TWO ~ DHG
MoRNIfN (y-ANO SlvE
NfHE ItoRSES ASEcRE
WoRkoUT- Them /
| WALK THEM EOR AN
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05

HOUR I'D COOL en- 0E
PUD EN- DOWN. BED
n4E S7RLLS. PREPARE
he FEED POLISH n4E
tth an ESS. cLGNr4 UP
R4E 5TAoLe. 'hEN.
WORK. oUT TAO MORE -
"A
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-12-05

COoL en- oFE ArIO y
SAooLE THEM FOR The
pAGe MEN AFTER The
RACG coOG ntGN oFE.
AFTER D+Rr NTUe
TIL MoRnING AHo
WARN 71+Ar No oTE II
poPEi0tG HoelG4Z q
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-16
NEW AUTO TOUR BOOK OUT
Nine Hundred Routes Mapped IN
Automobile Club Guide.

The new tour book OF the Automobile
Club OF America is issued, and is now on
sale 10 the general public. The book has
been published on a loose leaf system, with
flexible morocco leather cover. The latter
is designed TO last for an indefinite period
whereas the contents may be changed ana
added 20 from time 70 time as new or cor
rected routes are compiled by the bureau
of tours
The book contains twenty-five sectional
mans. twenty Of which are printed on dou-
BE pages and two on four pages on the
backs OF the sectional MAPS are 10 city
maps. showing tourists how TO pass through
the principal places encountered on the
main travelled trunk lines.
In addition 70 the nine hundred ODD
routes giving full running directions in all
parts of the country the volume contains
a description Of Canadian customs regula-
tons and licenses customs regulations OF
the United states and all foreign countries
ferry information and timetables foreign
touring information lists OF hotels and
garages. Information in regard 20 automo-
bile insurance. a summary OF state motor
laws a complete index OF al cities and
towns through which the routes pass 70
falling some forty-ive hundred names ar
index Of city maps, an index OF routes etc
Two features will especially commend
themselves 70 Automobiles. First inc
thorough way in which the book has been
indexed. so that no difficulty VIII be en-
countered in finding the Information de-
sired, and. second. the fact that the BOOK
will be kept constantly up 10 date so that
motorists will no longer be obliged TO be
guided by information six or eight months
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-16
DEAD HORSE HILL CLIMB
Manufacturers Rally to Test I'm
der Worcester Auspices.

Whatever may be the attitude OF auto
mobile manufacturers and dealers toward
racing, it IS certain that the majority OF
them favor hill climbing contests. This
was clearly demonstrated by the Worcester
Automobile Club, under whose auspices the
sixth annual climb will be held on Dead
Horse Hill on August Il. Before deter
mining on the date Of the climb. the club
thought II advisable to feel out" the trade
regarding the affair, and ESQ letters were
issued. The replies from which were ususu-
ally encouraging and augured well for
big field OF entries.
According TO John P Coghlin, chairman
OF the hill climb committee, no better date
could be selected for the affair. because
large portion OF the 1912 cars which the
dealers and manufacturers want 10 enter
will be ready b. that time. The climb
comes at a time Just before the autumn
selling season and many entrants have
seen the wisdom OF the climb committee in
selecting the late date, chiefly on this ac-
count
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-16
VI Jump IN AUTO CENSUS
st Figures Show $4,000
Cars in United States.

l:,,sS : Hershaw. manager Of the
e. branch .a ths city, who was one
IA. Neneer dealers in the automobile
r,,,, % Commenting on the wonderful
Va. tae motor car Industry. says:
s,s,. 'ae beginning OF the 1912 auto
H., sahon f.e manufacturers have in
k,., -''-aaess been compelled 90 greatly
l.g .4,H capacity for the production
= sg.,r,..Ae ~ fhe unprecedented demand
f-'r al .ee HN.en tine increasing pros
k.s... 'n, country has made almost "a
"a a., 'r... Years ago an automobile
sh zeal OF curiosity, there being
as ' thousand FOB uae in the United
b ,a'ts' statistics report over $1,000
n United states alone
a.r. ~ Thomas Motor car company
- ,rost maintained position IN me
,.s.fsf III. ana OF flc Industry. from "a
Sl.ly G'..ins 20 has been compelled 90
rlsiL,s so.f f plant, until to-day the
/. ss.es a ln the manufacture ~
s&'s 10. nave GooT space Of 5.j,gO
| a easA goo. ln addition. the company
-. ----.antiatel with other plants To-
~ distance FROM tho main build
| ;. ars,, new foreign and domestic
si ~. -4f been purchased and In
gss ~ q which fh- Thomas com
''hus.' ''e AiSi ~ seclye FOR use in this
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-16
BUILDING OF BODIES
different Cities and Districts De-
nand Different Types.

ne +,,e public ever stop 20 consider no"
80 automobile manufacturers aeclue oh
49,. ,arious body styles. the quahu,y ~
a,c II is just easy 10 ouilo
-, cars as baby tonneaus' sunDoa'S
la-adoore but how many will the market
+gEe is most important Item. .s,.o
experience and close "atch Cn - ~,
a,r,s,d are about the only ruies ~ %
-5.In,,,h the general demand IN iarse
,rettv we'll defined for HS,i''I,
-, work. city is a distinctly ruh"Dou'
- .,ov touneau" city, win Soihc -.
- tbrowu IN The percentase u -, 20,
ca 49, - o.rs is small. probably Tue 70 INC
r., the average owner mas '"o -
-a~' and has little use for d 'ais'
'ouii' -. otber hand. staid Boston i4,ol >
Oii sar,i1v car, and comfort ana iuN
- a., oouipment plays HaJo' en-
u's -, saIs. This Is also true u ~
lI'o 80, where the dlstihceS
11i"~ 80 must travel IN coihi :
sieH, -. Inc found IN the aVerase
"ii'' pbuadelphia is fast oeco''i-'e -
lohH""N l,, town-not a loulH"s
uNe-pas','. but something between '.'e
10Y n,lrer-Singer M1orl Teei'S
-, the bill. giving all 'hs ,..l,isb lines
.-,,-,,,r car and retaining '"o -, Martial
80. toy tonneau. Chicago % - curing
- 81, particular type anu
49,, topneau cars allkc' Middle
anu vaw York state ana I'M =, and
Ppe' ,',a nome Of the 'torPeao ii,
west >, .rbere every possible 80, :,
"foTedoola 80, the coach builders arr 'l-''
Ss be disposed Of The south os'. curing
9olitan Hn' sayor This Is due 10 road cor s,
slightly IN la'y IN spots. are not Of the Oe''