davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
HUMOR or THE Day

Wanted Her own Way.-He-Im willing
He-Yes. but it seems impossible TO make
the supply meet the demand.-Exchange
Willie (after the chastisement-Ma I
don't think can stand your husband any
longer.-Judge.
The last joke Of yours is sacriIegious
"Oh. that's easily remedied. Wen let a
child say it"-Birmingham Age-Herald
Its positively disgusting" What is2''
The way people crowd to a theater TO
see an improper play. Just think They've
sold out the house for three weeks la
advance How do you know - Il tried
TO purchase tickets and couldn't ."-Iondon
Opinion
Manageress Ito customer about to light
cigar)-No smoking In here, sir pleased
Customer-But you've got smoking
room on the door there. Manaeeress-
That is the door of the next room. sir
Gustomer-Then what's it doing in here
Punch.
After ALL" observes the thourbtful
man, there's always a lot OF difference
between expectations and realization ,,
y on bet, answers the man xtItb ~.
chenille WHISPERS For instance readin.
a seed catalogue in the spring ana iooi-ins
at your garden in the fall LIE.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

she pushed back the glass doors and
disclosed Jack himself at his desk in a
snug library.
why did we do it?'' he laughed.
after the storm of greetings. Be
cause we were going too fast a pace.
and we couldn't pay up. I knew if we
could get away for a few months. 1
could get on my feet: but keeping up
Edgemere, and running a steady hotel
for one crowd after another, was put
ting us altogether on the financial
blink, to tell the plain truth, and so
we eloped. Didn't we. sweetheart p"
Biggest scandal this year" Carey
returned. Il shall spread it broad
cast. When man elopes with his
own wife, the rights of bachelors must
be protected. Diane, this is no place
for an engaged couple. You'll be elop-
ing with me directly after the honey
moon, and by Jove, if we could find
a nest like this, Jack, I'd do it"
You may have this after Christ
mas" said Jack. Were going home"
Copyrighted 1911 by Associated
Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
GLOBE SIGHTS
TFrom the Atchison Globe.l
fFrom the Atchison Globe


Lots Of men quit smoking every time
they finish cigar
quite often a mans Chosen Profession
was thrust upon him
Few men are stingy they aren't will
ing 10 share their crouch with you.
defense of a hunter: There are lots
shots s00N
In all probability your audience heard
You the first time you said it. so don't
He is so worthless" one man said of
another recently, that he isn't even
asked to sign petitions"
While most great men are willing to
tell the secret of their success. not many
catch up with them
A hunting man who lives near a good
duck lake is as bad off as drinking man
VINO lives over saloon.
Speaking of the aviation of time it Ger
ta1nly would wreck the speed limit if il
all hurried by like the noon hour.
There are other ways for man to
prove he is master of his own mansion
besides making his wife start the fires
When an officer is court martfaled if
reminds US that 1t takes great induce
ments to make some men behave
An Atchison woman saws her husband
ought to have a world Of patience: that
he never uses any.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
EVENING CHAT

| We received the news the other day
| that one OF the prettest and most
charming girls of our acquaintance was
about to announce her engagement.
I must say I'm disappointed in Ger
trude'' said the one who brought the
s'Why?" we asked
Why to think she's going to marry
What's the matter with him?
thought he seemed like a nice clean chap
when | met him and he certainly is good
looking and they say he has good pros
"Oh, yes conceded the one who
Drought the news. 4 know all that but
what I mean is that he's been born and
brought up right there in that little town
and she's known him all her life
tunities for meeting people, l Thought
Gertrude would marry some one from a
distance, some one more out of the ordi-
nary
What a queer point of view.
ana yet what common one. And in
to this from Mddlemarch:
Ever since that important new arrival
IN Mlddlemarch ROSamOnd had woven a
ittle future of which something like this
scene was the necessary beginning
strangers whether wrecked and clinging
70 a raft or duly escorted and accom-
panied by portmanteaus. have always had
cfrcumstantial fascination for the vir-
gin mind against which native merit has
urged itself in vain. And a stranger was
necessary to Rosamond's social romance
winch had always TUNED on a lover and
marcher."
Apparently this prejudice against find
ing lovers in ones tOwnsrnen ones
nelghDors whose lives one knows to be
honest and straight whose habits one
Knows are comfortable to ones own and
whom one has cared for in a fine friendly
nature.
And foolish
am always glad when l hear that two
people who have been good friends ali
their lives find their friendships merging
INTO love, because | think there is 50
nuch more than the ordinary probability
that they are going to be happy
GU see, there are so many less dfscon-
certlng surprises awaiting each of them
lhere are so few unexpected corners in
eacn viii have to get accustomed rhev
nave seen each other in the daylight or
friendship before ever they entered tn
moonlight of love and have each that
much better chance of knowing what
tiney are taking for better or for worse
III death US do part"
But such a love affair is so unro-
mantle" you complain
an my dear that just shows that you
don't know what romance Isl It seems to
me that the highest, finest romance -
not that of circumstance or situation or
strange coincidence or love at first sight
Inc most wonderful romance to me. is
the romance of a beautifully complete
mating the romance of a love so well
Srounded-so deep. tender. true and 50
Wen grounded in friendship-that it lasts
TO paint picture to be called 10
nance. I think I should paint two ola
folks with the love light stin in their
eyes. 40 '''e4i
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
QUAKER NIEDITATIONs.
TFrom the PHILADELPHIA Record

| GF'rom the Philadelphia Record
Don't kick till you know just where the
shoe pinches.
Some people waste a lot of time trying
to save it.
It doesn't pay to do today the things
you have to undo tomorrow.
Looking for a job is about the hardest
work some fellows ever do.
When a fellow gets a cool reception he
generally gets hot about it.
It's when a fellow is dom that he is
apt to feel it's all up with him
On the road to success it isn't every
man who knows when to change cars
As a stimulant an ounce of censiIre is
sometimes worth a pound of praise
1t IS extremely difficult for a man TO he
happily married unless he is a good
The photographer never takes peonle
seriously He always tells them to look
pleasant.
Some people are not satisfied to know
that money talks. They want to make
every penny count
The Bard-I have lots of poetry in my
soul" The Editor-''Yes. the trouble IS
you don't keep it there"
The man who puts his pleasure before
mis- business is apt to reach the uofnf
where he won't have either
The Cynical Bachelor rises to remark
that the woman who doesn't know her
own mind is the kind to marry
The man who has most respect for his
alma mater is the one who is graduated
from the school of experience.
The Cynical Bachelor rises to remark
that the fellow who won't take no for an
answer deserves to get married
First Turkey-"Wba hat is a good motto
for Thanksgi ving?" Second Turkey
STUFF not. that you be not stuffed
Blohbs-. Here's a chap who has writ
ten ar article claiming that four out OF
SIobbs+''And how about the fffth7''
Blobbs-"I suppose he stayed single
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
FRoM THE LONE wEsr.

fled
That all the pageantry and proud array
OF cloudland have become but specters
gray,
Gliding with ominous, funereal tread.
But in the southeast suddenly uprise
Enpurpled turrets from horizon deeps-
A fair chateau, wherein Queen Night still
sleeps.
Till star-crowned servitors illume the
skies
And see. There on the highest misty
tower,
More splendent than a sunsets gaudy
A golden flame it's doom of darkness
stays,
To bark the anthem of the vesper hour.
William Struthers, in the Boston Trans
cript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Keeping up with the fashions is also
more expensive than it's worth.
Tombstones are very poor places to
look for the whole truth and nothing
but the truth.
x x
Almost every man has an idea he'd
make better hit in some trade or
calling other than his own.
X
If the people generally were not so
easy to fool more men would have to
work harder for a living.
x
Everybody leaves some kind of :
footprint on the sands of time but a
microscope is necessary to find most
of them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

With the Automobiles of Kansas
beginning to express themselves as be
ing favorable to a state tax on their
machines, the money received there
from to be devoted to improving the
roads. there ought to be little difficulty
in having the next legislature pass a
law to this effect incidentally, a real
state engineering department should
be created and given authority to de-
velop an adequate plan for the general
and systematic improvement of the
roads throughout the state.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
KANSAS COMNENT

THE REAL YELLOW PERIL.
Formed by the polyps of a shallow.
summer sea; fixed by the subtitle chem
istry of the air and comminuted by the
Aeolian geology of the Great Plains the
soil of Kansas has been one of man 5
richest possessions
From it has come the wealth to estab-
hsh a great state, to flex the markets IF
the world and to build the homes Of Il
progressive people. 1t has given of its
rendered its substance to his accretion-
1t has given much and received little;
its strenuous activity in production tfins
its strength. and the yellow appears.
Depleted condition of the soil is the real
yellow PERIL. d. G. in the Kansas
Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
DAFFYDuS
BY U. NoALL.

When a street-car stops does the
sidewalk
(step up forward little bit.)
I'd rather have a bank roll the size
of a shoestring than heart as big as
an OK
(Please pass the dough, Hortense.J
Do duelists get their pointers by
watching a board fence?
(She may have lost her charm and
beauty, but she still retains her girlish
laughter.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

who seems to be one of the ideals;
now slightly cracked since New Jersey
went Republican on last Tuesday.
Chapter XVIII, printed tomorrow
VIII, among other "reminiscences,
deal with a decidedly interesting in
cident. explaining why the Topeka state
Journal has not carried the Standard
Oil scvertising for the past three years
ard why this paper has not since that
time received any of John DIS" al
legged tainted money. This chapter may
prove interesting, at any rate you
ought to watch for tomorrows chap
ter in our last edition, price two cents,
including the first and only page in
colors printed daily by any newspaper
in he world. BY the way, this col
ored page is awfully expensive. but
we are going to fight it out on this
line for 100 days. If you want to
send the paper to any Of your friends,
you can leave 800 or 100 cents at the
business office and have the paper
sent postpaid for 100 days-the cheap
est is sometimes, for a time, the best
and most entertaining.
But will have to quit this chapter
A Chicago Tribune man, representing
err Mr.. Handy is here and wants to see
all about our new daily color page, he
cannot quite understand it; how
daily paper published in a smaller city
like Topeka can afford to print a
page in colors every day.
He said this morning; You of course
have to slow up your press do you
not?''
No said 1.-The writer. I'VE run it as
fast as we can. at full speed; am
very proud of the work we do, I think
there is no finer color printing done
on any newspaper in the country, do
YOU not think so TOP"
The State Journal has really been
preparing for this for over year
There is no better printing press in
the country than ours. The Chicago !
Tribune has larger ones but no better
one and our press and the Tribune !
are the same kind-Web perfecting- |
Ours is a Cfoss, the celebrated press
same make as Kansas City Star presses
and New York Herald presses
When the great Chicago Tribune
takes notice of the colored printing
each day in the Topeka daily, there
must be something doing in this city
and quite an advertisement going on
for Topeka; but Mr.. Handy is wait
ing; he wants to see the press run
with his own eyes and the colored page
come off on the paper at the rate of
three to six complete papers a second.
our Neon Edition Is printed at the
rate of six per second, and the regu-
lar edition at the rate of about three
per second: our noon edition is 10
pages; regular edition today is pages.
TChapter XVIII Tomorrow
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
POSTSCRIPT

Chicago, Nov. 9.-Whether the shop en-
ployees of the Rock Island road will join
milton Of their federation plan is up to
officials of the five unions involved. At
a conference between employees and rail-
road officials today statement of the
road position was given the men,
It is reported the railroad reitera ted it's
purpose not to deal with the federation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

President Madero of Mexico has
been busy during the first few days of
his incumbency receiving congratula-
tions. When he gets this job off his
hands all of his attention Will likely
be demanded in saving his kin from
rebel plots and putting down upris-
ings against his authority.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

The results of the recent state cleo
tons are just about as encouraging as
they well could be to President Taft.
New TOrk's reclamation by the Repub-
Hcans indicates how that state Will go
next year. and the stock of Taft and
the Republican cause should soar away
above par.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

Negroes in a Portugal possession on
the west coast of Africa have also got
into the revolution game. It is to be
sincerely hoped. though. that if their
efforts are successful they viii not re
suit in the establishment of another
negro republic of the. proportions Of
the one at Eavti
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

Minnesota has such a stringent law
providing for the lighting of vehicles
after dark, that it has been construed
t the effect that even baby carriages
must be equipped with front ard rear
lights And then some legislators get
terribly veXed when their constituents
have the temerity to question their
acts and wisdom
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

That island which was suddenly
thrown up in the Caribbean sea on
huge columns of flames probably
wasn't given a chance to cool off be
fore some nation grabbed it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

If for no other reason the presi-
dency of the United States would be
attractive to any hearty man because
of the wonderful turkeys that are sent
to the incumbent yearly by Horace
Vose of Connecticut. And it is about
time that Mr.. Vose was being reward
ed with the ambassad orship to Turkey
or some other good job
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

It will be safe to set down as trihe
premature the announcement that tur-
keys are going to be cheaper this
Thanksgiving than they have been in
the past few years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

Trenton. \. J., Nov. e-The Democrat
state committee of New Jersey TODAY en-
qorsed Gov Woodrow Wilson for the
democrat nomination for president Tie
committee decided to maintain permanent
headquarters here to further Governor
Wilson's nomination.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

Boston's reputation for nice dis
cernment has not been enhanced any
by the action of three big hotels there
in prohibiting the placing of bibles in
their rooms by the Gideons.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

I'm this Chapter are echoes of the re-
| cent victory of this paper over Republic
can Machine methods in the Second con-
| gressiOnal district OF Kansas on Tuesday,
| wherein the Insurgents undertook Il
! beat the old Republican Machine at their
! own game-with disastrous results to the
/ Insurgents, resulting IN the election or a
! Democrat who will be the new mysteri-
+ Gus stranger. with apologies to Nc
/ Cutcheon (see first page). in the other
! wise unbroken solid Republican Kansas
4 delegation in Washington in both the
senate and housed
It is just as true today as it was
nearly 50 years ago, when Abraham
Lincoln said: You can fool all of the
people some of the time; and some of
the people all Of the time; but you
can't fool all the people all of the
time
Our esteemed friends. W. r. Stubs.
chief executive of the state and JOS
eph N Dolley, chairman of the Re
publican state central committee, are
engaged, right now today" in try
ing to fool some of the people all of
the time.
Below is given what the Topeka
Capital, advocate of Guyer's election,
the state Insurgent organ, printed this
morning on its editorial page in the
form OF an interview with both Gov
Stubhs and Chairman Dolley. The
state j journal mas SlIlllet1 AAtCi lSNS
today Here is the item from the pa
per of Mr. Capper. who is a candi-
date for governor and is supposed to
represent the Insurgent Wing of the
party although he declares in his
platform that he will be fair to both
factions II nominated and elected.
From the Topeka Capital. Nov. 9:
Governor Stubs who put IN some
hard work in the Second district in the IN
terests of l. S Guyer, the deIeated can
didate for congress. did not discuss TO
any great extent yesterday the result OF
the election
ton was a special and it was to eject d
only for half a term: Ihen
it was such fine day that the farmers
remained at home and worked 1nStedu
Of going to the polls Everything con-
spired to bring about light vote
Chairman j. N Dolley Of the Repuo-
lican state Central committee expressed
practically the same sentiments He SAID
that in his opinion Guyer's defeat was
due to lack Of interest on the part or
the Republicans OF the district; that they
did not go to the polls, while the Demo
Gratis seized the Opportunity and voted
early ana late thereby electing TagSa1t'
their nominee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

Anyhow Mr.. Guyer, the late congress
sional candidate in the Second Kansas
district, must have obtained fully So
COO worth of experience.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

And still no news about the weather
conditions prevailing at Medicine Hat,
Such a storm must be raging in its
vicinity that the wires are down
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

Now that the price of sugar has
begun to go down materially perhaps
q few more folk Will be able to resume
the use of some in their tea.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

tional prohibition won out in Maine
probably means that the promiscuous
vioIst items of the prohibitory law will
continue there as usual
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
BY THE WAY
BY HARVEY PARSONS.

Home grown turkey according to a
/ dealer in seasonable eats, will be
i cheaper than usual But we strongly
suspect that by the time appointed,
! European Turkey. will look a dang
sight cheaper.
The American Poultry association
should avoid the use of orange coll
ored ribbon for badges when IL meets
in convention at town which recog-
nizes the shamrock as a national
flower.
BY a careful perusal Of the news
papers. one may gather that the in
surgent Republicans succeeded In
electing a Democrat in the Second
congressional district.
Tag-gart, you're it!
And. if suggestions are in order. we
suggest that the obscquies of Repub-
lican hope in said district should he
opened with BIZ Whites Call to
Arms
We are reliably informed that "A
choir of 200 picked voices will soon
be heard at the Auditorium. Here's
hoping that they were not picked too
green.
The rise in eggs" reminds one that
regardless of pure food laws. one finds.
at times. specimen of the Justly
celebrated breakfast food which is en-
tirely too high"
CHIGH" is the British colloquial
for ripe" as applied to game and
other meats.)
The explanation. we hope. viii
square 1t with you. The word rotten"
Is tabooed in this sheet.
HELP! Can it be possible that we
are again falling into that dismal
abyss of alleged rhyme? Splash
They used to grow in groups and pairs.
And on the face at that;
But now the nifty person wears
HIS WHISPERS ON HIS HIATT
Friend Wife. who reads this colyum
only by occasional accident, makes as
read aloud each morning. while she is
engaged in ratifying the treaty be-
tween toast and eggs. the wanderings
of one D. CASTOR. What would you
advise; Reno, yard Of garden hose
or an axe?
To the cook who can drink IL or let
1t alone: THE LEGAL retailer has no
protection al law: neither govern
ment. state, city or pure food. A gov
eminent license. which would square
him with the higher tribunal is con-
sidered a proof of guilt by the lower:
and, as statistics will prove. homicide
is mere misdemeanor in this state ais
compared with booze selling, you may
gather that he who hath the nerve to
sell booze hath also the intestinal
equipment to make same of II . So A
or wood alcohol.
The woman who looks comfortable
out in the rain is wearing her own
com pleXion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

Aviator Rodgers fight was far from
being in vain. He found out that it's
impossible to cross the country in an
aeroplane inside of thirty days.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

Although the Turks haven't many
friends in the rest of the world. it is
likely that most people are roofing
hard for italy 70 get a good trouncing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

Madero having been formally sworn
in as president of Mexico, his real
troubles are likely to begin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

Worse and worse and more of it.
They're going to have new bunch Of
experts to testify at the Hyde trial
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

There must be something of real
substance to the Chinese revolution or
WI Ting Fang would not have Joined
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
NIaterIinck Gets II

Stockholm, Nov 9.-The Swedish acs.s-
envy has awarded the Nobel prize for lit
erature for 1911 to the Belgian author.
Maurice AIaterlinck
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PtSl.2:

The State Journal is member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report Of that great news or
Eanization Tor the exclusive afternoon
publication N Topeka
The news is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
n0=e
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

The woman who looks comfortable
complexion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09

should avoid the use of orange col
ored ribbon for badges when IL meets
in convention at town which recog-
nizes the shamrock as a national
flower.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-11-09
CART, you're il!

And, if suggestions are in order. we
suggest that the obscquies of Repub-
hcan hope in said district should be
opened with BIZ Whites Call to
Arms