The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-14

! ''Sho I am-sho I am he said. as
he chuckled and slapped his leg
! Funny that Bowsher forgot he was
Bowsher. 1 remember now. I joined
a club. didn't I?''
yes You joined the S. S. S. club.
and you promised to tell me all about
it when you got home. Did you meet
a lot of nice gentlemen there?"
"Mishus Bowser, l met more'n a
million nice gem-len there. Perfeck
gem-len. Nice, soft smooth gem-len."
| "And they welcomed you?"
Just held out their hands to me
and cried. Sho glad to shee me that
they cried I cried, too
| land then what?''
| "Then w-what? Lemme shee !?
| Then we began to talk about the age
of the earth. They thought 1 didn't
know, you know, and they wanted to
right"
What did you tell them?''
! 'ToIe 'em the earth was seventy
five years ole, and any perfeck gentle
man who said it wasn't was a d
liari"
| why, Mr.. Bowser!"
| "Whazzer mazzer?''
you shouldn't have said such a
thing"
But amt this earth seventy-five
years ole-ain't it o.
| '.Of course. but
''Then amt anybody dam liar who
who says it's only seventy-four? You
femme lone, Mishus Bowser. L know
how to talk to perfeck gem'len. I'm
one myself. If you don't call perfeck
gem-len dam liar then you are no per-
feck gem len yourself. Shee ?"
We'll, what else?''
| You know-you know bout a gla-
cial period, don't you?''
| yes
so do I. but I didn't know all about
lit. and so I had to sit on a cake of ice
for an hour
But I thought they were Serious
Savants?'
Jus so. Mishus Bowser-jus' so.
| Anythin' more serious than sitting on
| cake of ice?''
| Mrs Bowser had to laugh. but he
| hadn't the faintest smile. He looked
and blinked for a moment and then
| said:
and there was a Drift period
Things was err drifting round.
Couldn't stop. Had to keep right on
| drifting
ct wasn't up. on er drifting, and SO
they drifted me. Drifted me around
'er room till 1 was most dead
1T was a shame!" exclaimed Mrs
Bowser
iod. That was when sandstone was
made. l wasn't up on sandstone, and
so they made me hold a hunk in my
teeth
You don't mean it,
''And there was 'er Granite age,
when granite was made. They put a
bag of granite on my hack and run
me round.
You poor, dear man How dared
they use you that way9"
''Yesh, how dared they3" he replied
as his lip began to tremble and tears
; came to his eyes. "They asked ms
about the Circus age. l never heard
of it, and couldn't tell EN- anything
: about Barnum or Dan Rice. Then
; Mishus Bowsher-then-''
Then what?"
''They made me turn cart-wheels
and hand-springs. and I almost broke
+ my back"
, THE monsters!
And then-and then"
. Mr.. Bowser reached ont his han6
and took hers, and for minute ht
4 was so schoked up that he could not &C
1 on. Then he crowded down his emo
/ lions and continued:
Then they asked me about tn,
Bounce period. What is er Bounce
l period, M.shus Bowsher -
why. it must have been period
| when everybody got the bounce"
But couldn't tell 'em bout it. ana
/ SO they bounced met Yes, sir, threw
I me right out in 'er snow
N shameful. OutrageoUs,,"
And sho, NIishus Rowsher-ane
l Sho-''
And Mr. Bowser broke down undel
the strain and wept. The cat rubbed
against his leg and purred her sym
pathy. and Mrs. Bowser smoothed hi
bald head with plying hand. but h
I could not be comforted The Serious
Scientific Savants had done him up
! Copyrighted 1911 by Associated Lit
/ erary Press
No Short Weight-The order had bee
/ ! passed to weigh the anchor. -"Oh. that
i all right. can. said the new recruit. ..Ih