davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-04-06

count, getting the discount allowed
her.
You know a man who has charge
of the box Office at a theater. In
spite of the sign prominently posted
above the window, mo free list" you
sidle insinuatingly up to him and sug-
gest that If there are any vacant
seats II would love to see the show"
Men ARE weak creatures where
women are concerned. I do not pro-
fess to know ali the kinds Of men
extant; but this I do know: There Is
not one man in fifty who can refuse
a woman anything for which she asks,
If he is in a position to give without
actually losing his place. So, of
course, you get a seat for the matt
nee.
The Exception Proves the Rule
You are the one exception that
proves the rule-something is never
given for nothing. Your whole day is
a succession of detailed evidence that
you get about everything you want
without paying the price that others
have to give.
OF course, you pay your self-respect
You give your dignity. You achieve
first place on the list Of public nui-
sances. But you do not value self
respect and dignity. You do not mind
being a bother If you get what you
want! So-you go on grating!
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
GENEROUS

Maud has a good heart"
Has she?"
Yes. If her new spring hat doesn't
cost too much and her candy and matt
nee bills are not too big she's going to
buy her mother patent sweeper, or
else a cake mixer, next summer
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Right to a Dot

ct can tell you," said he, how much
water runs over Niagara Falls to
quart"
How much?" asked she.
1.-TWO pints."
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Like a Mass Meeting
The Fair Girls Fix;
Or, YOn MauVe Walls
CDaiIy Shortest Story


The fair girl sat in her saffron and
rose Louis " room, casting glance
after glance at the beautiful mauve
paper that decorated its walls. Not a
wall in the room was without 1t.
Il wonder" she unused, as she drop
ned into a Louis " chair without in
Jury to either herself or that fragile
furniture, what fortune lies behind
that paper. and lies and lies. The
house has stood full eleven years, and
in that time what bold buCcaneer may
not have stored his booty behind yon
mauve walls? Heigho Alackaday!
Prithee,"
At that moment the door opened
noiselessIy without a sound. Two
burly men, each with his face full of
evil features. stole into the room. The
fair girl started back. clutching the
bureau in fear.
The Taller Man Kissed
Clutch not the bureau in fear"
Missed the taller of the two men, both
Of whom were of about the same size;
we will not touch you. But we must
and will have the paper off these
walls"
And. without more ado, further parley
or waste Of words, the intruders began
stripping the costly mauve paper from
yon mauve walls.
Great mauve strips had left three
walls bare and the strlppers were at
tacking the fourth, when suddenly the
fair girl uttered a cry, sharp but not
cutting.
a great realization had forced itself
upon her.
The men were paperhangers.
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Huniliating

He-Great heavens! We have run
over somebody!
She-Well, don't make such a fuss.
People will think it's the first time
you have ever been in a motor car.
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
d A Smart Man

He seems to be very clever"
Yes, indeed. He can even do the
problems that his children have to work
out in school,"
The Washington times., 1911-04-06

tonght Tor instance you eeI an eVe4ng TIIn nc noy
would do good take It You've been home several
ratified his slightly and cough
Of ming su-pr and embarrassment.
petty" he Legree myself, know
feel that when suggesting
thing Now, III tell you what have suggest instead
getting
keep house tonight while take
ssters?"
ohn cried his wife that may have expressed
that know
and won't consider for moment Just for that insist
on the club
And strenuouy" returned MI Peeved warmly
you spend odashoned gosspy evening sisters
And I'll keep or insisting till GO
John exclaimed his wife desperately IL cant'
"Whv? n the of all that's 5ociabe, why?'
"Because, several members of the Blue Button
Club up tonight"
"Indeed" replied Mr. Peeyed appearing indignant
three boys
from club. You take the hens in the Par or" 49, $50
tell expected boys! asked Mrs
Peeved. know l wouldn't have cared
snorted.
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Foolish Question

will you love me when I'm old?''
why, precious darling, We'll be di-
vorced long before that"
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Used to 1t

Unskilful Rider (as horse goes
through the water for the third time)-
Great heavens! This beast must have
been in the marines at one time.
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Dramatic Note

Did you enjoy the show?"
Yes, indeed. The leading lady ac-
tually wore gowns that would look we'll
in real life"
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
On to His lob

Waiter Ito aviator who has fallen on
the roof Of a hoteD-Want q room, sir?
The Washington times., 1911-04-06

The Usual Spring Ailment
THE doctor says I have mental indi-
gestion."
What on earth is that?"
Seems I'm reading more baseball
news than I can assimilate"
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Loretta's Looking Glass

a HORNETS nest with its occu-
n pants III active hostility would
be only a mild suggestion of the
state of your temper If any one were
to accuse you of appropriating what
did not belong to you.
Yet you are constantly doing 1t.
Only yesterday you worked with the
subtlety, the quiet and the precision
of a safebreaker to secure your spring
suit at a reduction. You know the
manager Of a certain large wholesale
suit house. On him you practiced
your clever wiles. Nc ward politician
ever connived and schemed with the
singlehearted devotion that charac-
terized your treatment of the mana
ger. Gradually, you placed him in
such a position that, without SEEM
ing niggardly and discourteous, he
could not avoid Offering to get you a
suit at wholesale.
You Were Getting a ''Rake-Off"
You were engaged In the ungentle
art of grating. You were getting
what commonplace and inelegant peo-
pie call "rake-off." Besides forcing
the man to sell the suit at cost. you
complicated his position by saddling
on him the responsibility of a special
order for which you paid the whole
sale price. But did you care? Do you
ever consider. in your mania for get
ting something for nothing, the trou-
Bile, the embarrassment and the ex-
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Mr.. PEEVED PROTEST
Against Being Thought
4 Simon Legree Husband
TO HIS PATIENT WIFE

)HN," remarked Mrs Pecved, while the reading
lamp flashed cOnvusively under her adjusting
fingers, 81 don't you to get the idea into your
head that simply because you have home, you
bound to stay in it every evening by-by chains
of duty, to speak.
NO. John, whatever be my faults hope | am
not unreasonable and I've thought lately that
that perhaps I've been too severe with you when
you've gone off for evening at the club | guess
home isn't much a if he doesn't feel at
liberty to leave it occasionally, and-and don't want
you to labor under any false impressions, John.
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Our Grocery Clerk
Says Cupid's Cruel

When 1t comes to making progress
with the new cashier, I'm a blocked
funeral.
Somehow or other, muh fatal beauty
Is laying down on the job, and my TAX
ing ways refuse to take. Just look at
her. Don't be afraid she'll see you;
she never looks over this way.
1 tried the clever dodge today. all
right 1 thought never could get a
chance to speak to her unless I went
about a thousand miles out of my
way.
You know this invisible ink, the
kind that fades away after about an
hour? Well, 1 brought down a bottle
Of that, and started to write on the
cash slips with 1t.
Queered 1t
For instance l shot over a slip with
the money for four pounds of sugar.
and wrote with the invisible ink
after -Four pounds of sugar. Not
half as sweet as somebody" And
then, on the slip for a box of toma-
toes, I wrote, Not half as rosy as
your cheeks"
And, come to think of 1t. I guess
that last was what Queered it-too
exaggerated, you know. 1 watched
her read the slips-I sent over half a
dozen or so-with a face like marble,
and never once did she turn those
luvully eyes of hers in my direction.
Then later saw her hand the slips
to the boss. He looked at 'em and
shook his head The Ink had faded
away She grabbed 'em back, and,
not thinkin' it worth while to make
explanations, 1 guess, let it go at that
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Sadie's Classical

sadie's one of these afflicted people
that only play classical music. Well.
she started to make the old square suf-
fer with the overture to Tann-Tann-
we'll never say 1t twice the same way,
anyhow, so l won't say it. By the
looks of Sadie it was almost as much
fun as it was work, but I don't see
how a man that ever did thing like
that to Tann-whatChecallum ever
rest in peace.
And every time Sadie tackles ragtime,
Belle, she puts some of the overture in
it. and that's an awful crime. And it
all goes to show that though some mu-
sic NAV be better than 1t sounds all
music can sound whole lot bettern'n n
it is. all dependin' on who rattles it off
on what.
The Washington times., 1911-04-06
Mamie's Trolley Monologue

It's that wonderful trilley effect that
does the business Belle. If they put
more of that in some of these boom
boom grand op'ras it'd be a more payin'
business. Sadie Foley. who's been
teasin' the piano ever since she was big
enough to reach the pedals, was over
L the house last night, and we asked
her to do her worst to our baby square.
Much as it hurt, Belle, we had to ask
her, for If a person plays and you don't
ask 'em to get some of it out of their
system every time they call, it's an
awful insult
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

les it has been the influence Of stand.
ards. unconscious and u~nintentional
perhaps and the result of long estab'
lished custom. but yet standards.
Most of our cities have a comparative
~ limited variety of street widths o,
standards. Eastern cities. as a rule,
have a greater variety than western
ones. and where their use has beer
found to be economical and generally
satisfactory in practice standardization
is a success; elsewhere it is a failure.
Grass plots in streets zen to thrive
only under German municipal regula.
lions or in cities where the property
owners have a superabundance of civ.
ic pride. Even in Paris, world famed
for its beauty. the streets contain no
grass plots. Much of the beauty Of
the old world cities is due to the scien-
tifc planting and are Of street trees
and il u streets are to achieve the
full measure of attractiveness we wish
for them we must look hopefully for
ward to a time when trees and other
plants will be properly cared for under
municipal authority. To this end there
should be a planting space unit of four
feet for narrow streets and eight feet
for wide one These units would ft
naturally into the unit schemes for
sidewalk or cartway In the event u!
the abandonment OF the planting.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

lfACIlNE.
fully reveal. R%eplanning and rebuild
ing will probably always remain mu.
nicipal liabilities; but. although our
provision may not be sufficiently un-
erring to enable us to fully anticipate
the future, the knowledge gained by
unfortunate experience should make
US more cautious and painstaking in
our study of the problem and should
enable us to plan streets which will
not be entirely wasteful and ugly dur
ing the period when their ultimate
destiny is uncertain.
That there is nothing new under the
Of other things. The street planner
has the physical example Of every
width and form of development 20
choose from, from the narrow unlove-
liness of the back alley to the splendid
breadth Of the Avenue du Bots de
Boulogne. Whether standards be es-
tablished or not. his judgement. wis
dom and skill will be the true measure
of his success in the final analysis of
the problem. and it is much more nee
essary that complete power over the
establishment and maintenance Of
| streets be vested In able and RESPONSE
| BILE hands than that their widths should
be either standardized or destandard-
lied.
If there has been one influence more
->x--X 49, it'll
ment of street widths in American cit
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
STREET PLANNING
OF AID TO TOWNS
Busy Communities Without Good
ThoToughtares.
WIDE ONES ARE NEEDED.
Power Over Establishment and Main
tenance of Streets Should Be Vested
In Responsible ,Hands-No Harm In
Making Them Attractive.

~
Making Them Attractive.
1t is generally agreed that the
healthy. progressive development of a
city or town depends primarily on the
opportunities offered by the street sys-
tenn for unlimited and untrammeled
circulation. and the experience of all
large industrial cities has been that the
demand for better and greater facili.
ties for such circulation is increasing
r1ore rapidly than means for supply
ing 1t can be found: therefore the
wise determination of street widths is
one of the most important of the prac-
teal and economic problems of city
planning and should be subjected to
much closer study than has heretofore
been the practice of own planners.
says A. B. Haldeman. a Philadelphia
engineer.
The failure Of streets in the busiest
sections Of large industrial cities to
provide adequate facilities for general
circulation and the wastefulness Of
unused street areas in other sections
of the same communities are too we'll
known to need any lengthy comment
The future requirement Of a street
is a dark mystery which only time will
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
Boiling Points of Metals.

A recent investigation gives the fol
lowing as the boiling points for certain
we'll known metals: Aluminium. 1.SOO
degrees c.; copper, 2,31O degrees c.;
iron, 2,45O degrees c.; lead, 1,525 de-
grees c.; silver, 1866 degrees c.; tin,
1870 degrees c..
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
Thought Well of Themselves.

Thought We'll Of ThernseIVes.
Gibbon wrote in his dairy: Il am
the greatest historian that ever lived.
Victor Hugo wrote to Bismarck:
THE giant greets the giant, the foe
the foe, the friend the friend. I hate
thee ~furiOusly because thou hast hum
bled France. l love thee because I am
greater than thou art"
And Wordsworth said of the "swan
Of Avon There is an immensely of
trick in all he wrote. If 1 had a mind
I could write exactly like Shake
speare."
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

Mr.. Taft chooses to advance his pol
icies by Yachting trips rather than by
using a knobby war club.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

Doan's Regulets cure constipation,
tone the stomach, stimulate the liver,
promote digestion and appetite and easy
passages of the bowels. Ask your drug
gist for them. IS cents per box,
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

Woman loves a clear, rosy complexion
Burdock Blood Bitters p%urities the
blood, clears the skin. restores ruddy
sound health.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
HurnOr and
Philos
By DUNCAN N. SMITH
APPROACHING THE LIMIT.

zach year the trusts grow bigger.
Each year another crop
Is added to their number.
Who knows where il will stop?
For every branch of business
Beneath the shining sun
That now has competition
Will soon be rolled in one.
A captain of finances
Sees thirteen peanut stands,
Each on a different corner
Soon all are in his hands.
The peanut buying public
May writhe and squirm and twist,
But it must %patronize him
Or peanutless exist.
We're used to trusts in matches.
In sugar. steel and soap,
In railroads and in rubber,
In brushes. boots and rope,
But o with nothing checking
The tendency to fuse
Well meet with combinations
In everything we use.
The mar who beats our carpets,
Tho man who hoes our corn,
Will soon be but the agent
Of some new trust just born. G
The laws may rail against them
And try to tame their pride,
But law o tears won't stop them
Till all is trustifed.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
Feeling His WAY,

FeeIIng IT'S way.
IL seems to be an old fashioned
DOCTOR"
well, he is not up to all of the
tricks of the trade"
"How does he get along with the
younger physicians?'
HE has to be mighty cautious.
When he hears a new word he doesn't
know whether they are talking about
a new disease or some breakfast
FOOD
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

There's nothing SO good for u sore
throat as DR.. Thomas Eclectic Oil.
Cures it in a few hours. Relieves any
pains in any part.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Some car learn a lot without ever
getting wise.
His ability to forget is often one Of
the elements Of a mans success in
life.
1t may be hard to get help, but you
can always find some one to tell you
how to do your work.
A good joke is one that your enemy
laughs at when you tell 1t.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

A man With both dollars and sense
knows the value Of money.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
Her Reaso

Her Reason.
care you fond of m~otorcars?"
mo"
"TVhy?'
at costs S much to keep one that
BERTHE can't afford to marry"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
The Most Desirable.

the WoSt DeSIFabIe.
"She has a new diamond ring"
where's the man who gave it to
her?'
"She never speaks of him"
"Why not?"
"She considers the ring much more
presentable."
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

No wise man ever wished to be
younger.-Swift.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
WiIi;pn n Matt

Willing to Wait.
Gould you loan me half q dollar"
I'D be glad to. but l haven't got it."
when do you think you will have
one?"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

CROSS SECTIONS OF STREETS SUGGESTED BY
HALDEMAN AS GOOD PLANNING AND AT
TRACTIVE.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
One joy Thwarte,

One Joy Thwarted.
Some drawbacks has the flying rig
To f1iers who are on the wing,
For when the engine will not work
They can't get out to crank the thing.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
Restricted.

Restricted.
"Three acres and liberty..' that is the cry.
Get BACK to the LAND and your table sup
ply.
But, say, when you venture away from
the town
To tie to the land you will find you're
tied down.
You a to be there, for the COW cannot
wait.
The weeds will grow rank if YOU lie abca
late.
In bright. sunny weather the hay must
be cut.
It may be a species of liberty, but
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21
SOCIETY DIRECTORY.


CHAPTER OF ROSE CROIX-Langdon Chap.
ter No. 2. holds regular communications on
the first and third Thursdays of each month
at the Masonic Temple.
WILLIAM FLAoK, w. NJ.
ROBERT Work, Secretary.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

LODGEOF Observation-Disclosures No. 8,
holds regular communications On the first and
third Thursdays of each month at the Masonic
j. E. TRUAX, V. NJ.
ROBERT Work, Sec'y.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21


1.-THE impudence Of that young broth.
err OF miner exclaimed Mrs. Nagger.
"He just told me l was no chicken
when | married you"
Well" replied her unsympathetic
husband. that's true enough. You
weren't a chicken. were you?"
mo; ] was u ose."-Philadelphia
Press.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

STATE SUPREME COURT.
Chief Justice. E. Morgan
Associate Justices-B. F. Spaulding, G. j. Fisk
T.. T. Burke, and E.. B. Goss.
Clerk of Supreme Court........R D. Hoskins
Reporter of Supreme Court..".....F. w. Ames
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1911-09-21

SCHOOL BOARD.
Members of Board of Education-John
Mahon Chas. Hunter, W. B. Dickson, Z D..
Fox, j. J. Mahoney.
treasurer. ....J ~
Clerk H.. lrua4.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-08-11
TO PROBATE GATES WILL
Legal Proceedings to Take Place at
Port Arthur-Helpei 80
Families.

New York, Aug, 10.-The will OF
John w. Gates who died yesterday
at Paris will be probated in Fort
Arthur, Texas, where the financler
made his residence. This was ascer.
tanned today at the offices of Byrne
and Cutchcon, lawyers. which firm
has the custody OF the will.
1t Is understood the bulk of the
property will 60 to Charles Gates,
his SON The fortune is estimated
at between s4O,ooo,Ooo and $780,
900, 900.
Were any bequests made outside
of his family?" was asked.
THAT ] could not say" was the
reply, "Brt will say that the pub.
lie knew very little of the real Mr.
Gates. More than thirty families
were dependent on checks mailed
monthly by Mr.. Gates"
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-08-11
USED MAILS TO DEFRAUD
Court Of Appeals Affirmed Sentences
Of Trio Who Disposed Of United
Wireless Stock.

New York, Aug. 10--The United
States court Of appeals today denied
the appeal of c. c. Wilson, president
of the United States Wireless Tele-
graph Co., Francis S. Butler, counsel
and director and w. w. Tompkins.
head of the company which disposed
of the United Wireless stocks and
confirmed their sentences. Wilson
and Tompkins were each sentenced
TO two years in the Atlantic peni-
tentiary and TO pay fine of $500
each, Butler was sentenced to one
year and fine of 81.
The three men and others were
convicted of using the mails to de-
fraud creditors and directors In the
United States Wireless securities.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-08-11
MURDERER ON Pixies PEAK
Wealthy Iowan Does Not Believe
Suicide Story Told of His
Nephew.

Colorado Springs, Colo, Aug. 10
-Suspecting that his nephew, Del
bert Cutler, was murdered on Pixies
Peak and did not commit suicide as
supposed, f. e. Cutler, wealthy mer-
chant of Waterloo, Iowa, arrived
here last night to institute an inves.
tigation and exhume the body
Young Cutler died in a local hospi.
tai May s, following a mysterious
episode on the peak.
Late the previous afternoon Cut
Ter had staggered into the half way
house and told story of having
been attacked and robbed. He was
taken to hospital where traces OF
acid poison were found on his lips
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-08-11
LAW
BAD DSAYSPERK|NS
DECLARES UNDER PRESENT
DAY CONDITIONS CORPORA
TIONS HARMED BY 1T.
DISSOLUTION A REQ FLAG
Standard Oil Decision Served al
Warning to All Corporations
Against Loaning Of
Money on Call.

Washington, Aug. 10.--George
W. Perkins, director Of the United
States Steel corporation made some
striking recommendations today
with reference to the government
control of corporations as a witness
before the house Steel Trust investi-
eating committee. lie said existing
laws were seriously threatening big
interests and their rigid enforce.
ment was making it impossible for
corporations to continue operations
In conformity with the statute.
The witness went over wide
range of subjects. He touched on
needed reforms in the laws, dis.
cussed existing conditions of cor
porations and pointed out changes
that might be made by congress.
Some Of his suggestions we're as
follows:
THAT the great corporations have
grown UP under demands of existing
conditions, could not longer success
fully exist under the Sherman anti
trust law.
That the government dissolution
of the Standard Oil served as wav-
ing OF red flag" of warning to
every corporation in the United
States.
THAT legislation of q construc-
tive nature must be done by the
government with reference to con-
troll of corporations and rather than
for present conditions to continue It
would be better to go to the limit
Of permitting government regula-
ton of prices.
THAT one great stride towards
ayerting financial panics in New
York could be made il the govern
ment would prevent banks in Chi
,cago and thaa middle west losuing
money on call in New York during
the summer at cheap rate and sud
denly calling 1t back on the fall for
crop movements making high money
and trouble in the New York mar
ket.
THAT the establishment of gov
ernment bureau which could give
accurate Information to the public
as to the condition of corporations
would be an active inducement to
the people to make wise invest
ments.
THAT one of the most striking
developments of the present system
of conducting business on large
scale is the dividing of great inter-
ests into the hands of many invest
ors rather than concentrating them
into the hands of few"