davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
Not His Fault.

lille Augustus Johnson had learn
d some things about the face of a
o,ook hut not quite all there is to
aWbat time is it, 'Gustus?" asked
i. employer one night, to test him.
ats les 8 o'clock" said the boy,
.ttor 4 careful survey of the clock.
aNo you're wrong" said his en-
rlover ut won't be for quite a
mile yet-not for twenty minutes"
nBofe hands is printing to 8, jes' as
straight as dey can pint" said the
boy stubbornly. "If dey amt telling
de truf, | cyan't help it."-Youth's
companion
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
It Depends on the Liver.

1T life worth living?-that depends
upon the liver" Yes, and that again
depends upon what you eat, and how
you eat
Henry Ward Beecher once said: "A
man with bad liver cannot be a good
Christian" Henry made some mis-
takes, but in this statement he was
eminently correct. 1t is only another
version of phrase frequently used by
the editor of the Care of the Body:
AS man eateth so is he."-Los An
geles Times.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
TEACHING and Feeding.

A student at the Western Reserve
university suffers from obesity. 1t ap-
pears that even professors do not love
a fat man. After a particularly I'M
successful recitation IN an English
course the professor said: ALAS, Mr..
Blank! You are better fed than
taught"
"That's right, professor" sighed
the youth, subsiding heavily. You
teach me; | feed myself"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
FRENCH BEAN COFFEE,
A HEALTHFUL DRINK

The healthiest ever; you can grow
1t in your own garden on a small
patch 10 by 10, producing so pounds or
more. Ripens in Wisconsin 80 days.
Used in great quantities in France,
Germany and all over Europe. Send
Is cents in stamps and we will mail
you a package giving full culture d.
rections as also cur mammoth seed
catalog free, or send 81 cents and get
in addition to above 10000 kernels
indispensable vegetable and flower
seeds-enough for bushels of vege.
tables and flowers. John A. Salzer
Seed Co., 1872 S. Sth St, La Crosse, Wis
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

A gentleman once started on a
long Journey. He having to go on
ioot' got weary and lay down in
renee corner to rest. The sun being
50 warm and he so weary he fell
asleep.
by chance he had a pumpkin seed
IN y, MS pocket. The ground was damp,
'lls made the seed sprout and then it
grew. When he awoke he was al
most 20 miles away from where he
,as DOWN He was curled up in a
pumpkin blossom.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
MIGHT be in a Nice Fix.

Two men of Milwaukee were dis
cnssing the case of a person of their
acquaintance whose obituary, it ap-
pears, had been printed by mistake in
one of that citys newspapers.
"oh, ho!" exclaimed one of the
Germans. so dey hat printed der
funeral notice of a man who is not
dead already! Veil, now, he'd be in a
nice fix if he vas one of dose beebIe
vot believes everything dey sees in
der papers. "-Harper's Magazine.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
School Bows Garden.

An admirable scheme to have a
school boys garden next year has
been planned by the authorities of
Ginning, N. Y. Last summer a hun
dred boys made good as farmers OF
vacant lots, and it is now proposed to
place practically all such unused
property in the city under cultivation,
the pupils of the public schools to be
the gardeners and to reap the profits
from their products.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
Advanced Fast.

Mike, didn't you have some trou-
BILE when you landed at New York;"
"DiVil a bit, sor."
You hadn't any password admit
ting you to the country, had you?"
mo, sor, but before l had been in
the country tin days l had the grip
Chicago Tribune.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
EXPLAINED.

'*Now they claim that the human
body contains sulphur"
In what amount"
ooh, in varying quantities"
We'll, that may account for some
girls making better matches than
others"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
What She Wanted.

rather Ito his daughter)-Tve
Thought you a either for your birth
ras' my dear, and a book by which
:; can teach yourself to play on it
~. paughter-"But it was the either
S U, | wanted most.-FIiegende
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
First Choice.

Mr. Jawback-"My dear, l was one
of the first to leave"
Mrs. Jawback-"Oh, you always say
that"
Mr.. Jawback-'T can prove it this
time. Look out in the hall and see the
beautiful umbrella I brought home
Toledo Blade
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
DISTEMPER

In all its forms among all ages of horses.
as well as dogs, cured and others in same
stable prevented from having the disease
with SPOHN'S DISTEMPER CURE.
Every bottle guaranteed Over 6OO. 600
bottles sold last year $50 and 500. ANY
good druggist, or send to manufacturers.
Agents wanted. Spohn Medical Co., Spec.
Contagious Diseases, Goshen, Ind.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

"Ah say, Miz Mandy, am yo' pro-
gram full?"
'Lordee, no, Mr.. Lumley 1t takes
mo- an san'wich an two olives to
fill my program"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

vo,, ss-Dont you wish you could live
your life over again?
sot s--weh, should say not! I've
ms.n. I"enty-year endowment policy
cr,s. ing this month.-Boston Trans
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
One on the Parson

to S ason Joiner-Tt must be dreadful
upor 10 impose a life sentence
V ~ a man. Judge.
parso use Jolly-You ought to know,
Tranoa,, you do it yourself.-Boston
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
ExpIorer,s Ailment-

Did that explorer suffer any ply
steal ailment as a result of his trip
to the arctic regions?"
yes"
What was it,"
writer's cramp." - Washington
Star.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
a Difference in Ace

Yon Ave yourself. Master Freddy.
egg von, snty boy-that's the second
2 sy you've knocked over"
over - nut Mamie. this one fell
London mes g. very young, you know
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
The Difference

mitted tied "a, are the first man I ever per,
kissed y U,i,, are the first girl I ever
4 won, Mlll you marry me?"
4 won5 un !, marry liar"
"Ould "-Houstoi Post.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

How easy it is for the people who
are down on excitement in religion to
fire all their gasoline at a baseball
game.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
No Secret,

MRS Chucksley, is your husband a
@I, OF any secret society?"
hi. m tninks he is-but he talks in
40 steep. Chicago Tribune.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
The Why.

How long are you going to stay
in Monte Carlo?
six days"
why exactly six days."
Because I've only brought six cos
tunes with me-"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
Colds and Chills Bring Kidney Ills

%
the eySandda disorders dtle. lIame,w md
have
vel cod,b
cold Do Kidney Pills
etnonpr sit cecouy
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

Hamlins Wizard Oil is recommended by
many physicians. 1t is used in many pub
lie and private hospitals Why not keep
bottle on hand in your own home?
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

A woman who speaks but one Ian
guage usually talks enough for two.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

The vacant room at the top is due
to the fact that there is no elevator
service to help the lazy man.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

Whenever there is a tendency to consti-
patton, sick-headache or biliousness, take a
,up of Garfield Tea. All druggists
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething sOftens the gums, reduces in1amma-
ton, allays pain. cures wind collie, 25c a bottle.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

He Was Judge.
Geraldine-I am just twenty-five.
Gerald-Verdict set aside.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

Try Murine Eye Remedy for Red.
Watcry Eyes and GRADUATED EyeIids
No Smarting-Just Eye Comfort Mu-
rine Eye Salve in Aseptic Tubes New
Size Csc. Murine Eye Remedy Liquid
25C and soc
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
Seems to Be Wronn.

Howell-Whateyer is is right.
Powell--But suppose a fellow soaks
you with his left?
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

1t must have been a spinster who
said that some widows wear heavy
wells to conceal their joy.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

The busiest thing in the world is
idle curiosity.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

suItatlon, was thought to be In a hopeless
state. My limbs were so swollen" said
Mrs. Shearer, that 1 could hardly get about.
| rapidly grew worse until the doctor said
one kidney was entirely gone and the other
badly decayed. The end seemed near, and
my friends gave me up to die On my
brothers advice began using Doans Kid
ney Pills and after the fourth day l was
able to be propped up in bed. Through their
use rapidly improved until at the present
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

- '.''N'tfAn never mas She DIIh-
Ished testimonial or used q Letter
without the written consent Of tba
writer, and never has the COMPANY
allowed these confidential letters ~
get out of their possession. as the
hundreds of thousands of them in
their files will attest.
Out of the vast volume of experienca
which Mrs. Pinkham has To draw
from, 1t is more than possible that she
has gained the very knowledge needed
in your case. She asks nothing in re-
turn except your good will. and her
advice has helped thousands. Surely
any woman, rich or poor, should be
glad to take advantage of this gener,
GUS offer of assistance. Address Mrs
Pinkham, care of Lydia e. Pinkham
Medicine Co., Lynn, Mass.
Every woman ought to have
Lydia e. Pinkham's SO-Daoe
Text Book. 1t is not a book for
general distribution, as it is too
expensive. It is free and only
obtainable by mail. Write for
it today.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
FREE
ADVICE
TO WOMEN

Women suffering from any form Of
illness are invited to promptly com
municate with Mrs. Pinkham at VIM
Mass. All letters are received, opened
read and answered by women. / wo
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

- NJ ~
man can freely talk
OF her private i'll
ness to a woman :
thus has been es-
tablished this con-
tdence between
Mrs. Pinkham and
the women Of
America which has
never been broken.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31

time active and WELL although 65 years old I do
fully much work in Centralia and enjoy
good health"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
CONVINCING PROOF FROM GRATEFUL USERS
THE SHADOW OF DEATH

THE SHADOW OF DEATH.
Washington Woman's Remarkable Recovery.
Mrs Enos Shearer, Yew St. Centralia Wash, with
ney gone. the other badly diseased five doctors
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1911-03-31
IN HOSPITAL FOR NINE MONTHS.
Awful Tale of SUFFERING From Kidney

Alfred ]. O'Brien, No End St. Sterling Colo. says
in the Baltimore Marine Hospital for nine montf
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07

The mother of q family was grievlns
over the siae Of her daughters feet
for indeed Clnderella's distinctive
charm seems to have departed with
the tiny rosebud mouth once neces-
sary to feminine perfection. The 10.
lie foot with the arched irsteO was
very fascinating. one Of the most no
mantle OF fair ladies' graces, yet the
short, marrow frockn and low buokled
shoes OF this season have revealed
very clearly &C. practical extinctiOn.
Do nhoemakers stilI stock ''twos" en-
ceUt fer children2 Even the -FOUR
is growing rare. and girls take .fvea. :
'nlxss" and "sevenan without blunh-
ing. As women are bigger, their feee
must bs biggsr. and II Ia the future
they are to be equal to men in every-
thing else, one SuppOsea tins siEe ce
their boots WIN have to be Included
Il woman's fairy foot becomes myth
as her stature wakes 90 much higher
than mans heart. what Is to happen
to the poetsf Perhaps they also Wall
presently be history, since nobody
reads poetry nowadays.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07
she Was From Missouri.

Professor Jordan. the corn expert OF
the Missouri College of Agriculture.
tells story Illustrative of the suspi-
cion with which people often view new
ideas and Inventions ia pioneer days
settler near the present town Of
Albany. MO-, bought for bis wife the
first cook stove ever seen In that part
of the state. II was an object OF
great curiosity. and the Woman's next
door neighbor who lived ten miles
away came to see how it would work
Without comment she saw the dinner
cooked she ate the meal with judg
ment held In reserve. and then remark
I'd with shake OF her head: Well.
Sarah, II cooks ali right, and the VIC
knals taste good. but / don't believe 1T
viii ever ~ success Youths Com
panion.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07
APPLY Answered.

Mayor Preston of Baltimore said he
was reminded OF story once related
to him of Gen. F1tzhugh Lee. While
General Lee was governor or Virginia
disputes arose over the division line
OF the states OF Maryland and Virginia.
Some of our oysternen trespassed on
your waters" said Mayor Preston.
"and guess some Of your oystermen
paid US visits contrary to law, but not
contrary to our hospitality. Our gov
ernor. the late e. e. Jackson. tele-
graphed to Governor Lee: 'Depredar
tons by your oystermen must cease.
They must not cross the line which
separates the states Governor Lee
sent back the following characteristic
reply: No line separates Virginia
and Maryland. and none can separate
US
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07

Sinking ones identity Ira character
parts on the stage Is hat an insignif-
cant branch or acting. The displaying
of personality beneath the makeup.
the incarnation OF d written character
IN flesh and blood. by sheer act 81
genius on the part Or the actor ii an
ing part with his own personality
tempered to the limitations Of his
role-the creation, in short, OF 4 Ifv-
ing. Visible and Ineligible being, II
the grand goal OF the actors art
How well Richard Mansfield knew
that art In his performances, you
saw an impenetrable makeup. but
though Mansfield was hidden, behind
the disguise were the brains Of the
greatest dramatic genius Of our gem
GRAFTON. fashioning steadily and su.
perbly character az he conceived it
out OF the materials placed at his COM
mand by the playwright
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07

At one time business partner Of
J. Pierpont Morgan had been work
Ing ON an important traction PROPOSE
ton for a long time preparing details
and q statement. When all was I'm
readiness, the partner went to Mr..
Morgan late In the afternoon and
asked II he was ready to go into the
matter I'm the morning. 'Tt viii take
some time" he added TIN going to
Washington tonight" said Mr.. Nor
gan. 'sbut get into my carriage and
wen talk II over az / drive home"
When they reached his Madison ave
nue. residence the veteran flnancier
had solved the knotty problem ON
which his firm had labored for weeks,
and gave the answer with as little
ceremony az II he were asking the
coachman to call at eight-Joe Mitch
oil Chapple In National Magazine.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07
That aold-Fashloned Man

In reply to an inquiry SIS TO what has
become OF the old-fashioned man who
used his coat lapel as a pincushion, .
correspondent writes to the Kansas
City Star, from the town of Humboldt:
1.-THE aforementioned old gentleman
has changed the location of his pins
and you will now find them in his vest
at the lowest point In front. on the
left-hand side. AS to the old gentle
man himself. he changed his own To-
cation at the same time that he
changed the location OF the pins. In
fact. being wise old boy. he moved
to Humboldt AS he Is a modest aud re-
firing old gentleman, cannot give
you his name, but he is the same one
who writes under the nom de plume Of
1ncog.'"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07
one on the capsaln.

A woman who was about 20 start
on . trip to the southern part Of the
world was advised To be sure 20 look
for the equator On board the vessel.
she approached the captain and told
him she would be greatly obliged IL ne
would point out the equator TO her.
After a while he told her they were
drawing near. and gave her the use
OF his telescope. Pulling hair out
OF bis head. he held 1t IN front or the
telescope and said to her: There M
the equator Can you see it7" "Oh,
yes, yes.p said she. excitedly, ''and
there's camel on it!"--Efarper's
Weekly.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07
An Ala rm AZ Might

That strikes terror to the entire house
hold Il the loud, hoarse and metallic
cough d Group. No misialxing 1t, and
fortunate then the lucsy parents who
keep Foley's Honey and Tar Compound
on hand. Fl. w. Casselman, Carton,
N. r., says: ''Itis worth It's weis Bit in
gold Our little children are troubled
with Group and hoarseness. and ali we
give them l. Foley's Honey and Tar
Compound. / always have bottle OF
Il Ia The house. Pioneer Drug store.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07
TaIhs 70 cssa.

SAYS that she was an alley cat. Just
q typical alley cat. Not the kind that
IL fortunate enough to be taken into
home and sheltered behind warm
stove In tho winter, fondled By q
kind mistress. and the subject fcr
friendly comment by well-meaning
visitors. Never that.
For hers was that Wild and nCrna-
die alley cats life which is spent Ii
the out-of-way places, gathering food
to sustain life wherever It may Be
found.
.oh. the horror Of that life! Shall
ever forget it?v Mrs. Freeman was
speaking to q reporter. and as shs
half asked the question i Bhiyer rent
hex. Then, without waiting for an an
gwer, she related that the existence
she had to endure In her former life
has made her especially solicitous or
cats n this life
There you have the explanation Of
the twenty seven cats which make
their home with Mrs. Freeman. All
her life she has been cat lover.
II any one win take the trouble to
60 TO the rear of this womau's home
he VIII not only md food there for ths
stray cats. but he win see also 4
shelter made especially for the pur-
pose.
IL e terrible. terrible to lead the
life OF an alley cat. continued the
woman. No soul can have q drawer
or more sordid trial. The Wild r..
treats which must DO made In tina
face Of pursuing dogs, clubs. the kicks
and the abuse from human hands. /
might have thought myself the NEST
ill-treated soul in the world had / not
met other cats worse or than ].
Well do remember one dusk In mr.
CT world when / had put in most
miserable day. II seemed ID though
couldn't endure the torture. until
finally came onto another alley ca1.
whose leg had been broken that day
by some hsartiess boys. Then IL va
that she and ! pledged that ig ever
W. rot to " human beings - w0Uld
treat al the Gets kindly.
Would you bslieye me?~ Mrs. Fres
man spoke with manifestation 0f
much interest One day went u !
theosoDhiaE meeting III Detroit ana
there met the woman Who had been
the 6aiey CT win TIE broken Ion. The
ree0GnSzancs Was mutual. she va
keeping her promise and goodness
y - 44
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07

II 1906 lightuiug killed only 1859
peopls in Ibis whole country. Ones
chances Of death BY lightning are lees
than TWO In million. The chance OF
death from liver, kidney or stomach
trouble i vastly greater, but not II
Electric Bitters be used, ~ Robert
MadseD, Of West Burlington, la,
proved Four doctors gave hin up AZ
Ter eight months OF suffering from
virulent liver trouble and yellow isun-
dice. He was then completely cured
by Electric Bitters. They're the bsst
stomach, liver. nerve and k dney RENE
~ and blood purifier on earth. Only
SOC at the Pioneer Drug Co.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07

Frederick Townsend Martin, the
satirist Of the idle rich. made q Wit
ty speech, at a literary dinner I'm New
York. about modern marriage. Love. =
he said. Certainly has very small
place In marriage Ia mode I was
talking the other day at tea to a
beautiful debutante. when q beautiful
BRIDE girl of 18 or 80. passed with
her husband The husband was an
old fellow Of 70, and the debutante,
nodding toward him. said: 81 sup
pose Bessie married Millions for HIS
money. II she did, said | severely.
1T was a very wrong and foolish thing
to do Yes, wasn't itT said the
debutante old Millions looks so
healthy. I'm sure he'll live to a hun
dred. /"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07
Above the Surface.

J. Pierpont Morgan. looking up from
his well-beloved solitaire I'm the saloon
of the Olympia. asked resident OF
Denver the news OF western politics.
well, sir, our most startling news. !.
said the Denverite. smiling, SIS that
John Blank"--he named Colorado
statesman--sha turned Baptist /"
Turned Baptist?" said Mr.. Morgan.
-Yes. sir. turned Baptist" ''But to
turn Baptist don't you have to be
totally immersed?" Yes. sir; that In
correct" Mr.. Morgan shook his head
grimly and his cold blue eye twinkied
as he said: Then can't believe the
report Blank would never consent TO
disappear from the public view for
that length OF time. Washington
Star.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07
The woman Mho.n d Re Pltled.

FHe woman WHO'S TO BS PRi@0.
The woman who goes out into the
world fun Of wonderful sights and
Of many people and not knowing how
10 look comes back with just as little
knowledge az when she first starts out.
The woman who complains OF being
awkward and vet has never looked
about for graceful people that she
might initiate them. The woman who
talks OF seeing disagreeabls faces.
rude people, and unhappiness because
she has not looked for pleasant people
and goodness and kindness IN the
world. There would be fewer empty
hearts If there were more occupied
minds and buster bodies. Both the
body and the mind are restless when
they have nothing to do. Keep busy.
exercise, stir around. Activity il tho
law OF the universe. Even the world
has to take its daily exercise and turn
itself about.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1911-12-07
shlftlesa LOT.

A little cross-firing was going on be-
tween the Texas and Arkansas law
makers when Senator Culberson said:
Arkansas is suburb OF Texas. and
there are some powerful good people
there, but about the most shiftless
family ever heard OF lived In that
state. The family belonged to the nu-
mercus Smiths. Old Daddy Smith
was very sick. and D neighhor called
to see about his condition. He found
no one at home, except daughter-in-
law, who informed him that the rest
Of the family had gone to see their
daddy buried. The neighbor was q fe.
ligioqs man. and inquired Of the daugh-
ter-in-law IL the old gentlemen had
made any preparations for eternity.
No. replied the woman, .nothin' more
than to give the two boys boss
apiece. He knew they'd never own
one ef they had to work for It,