The Marshall republican., 1911-12-14
Press Clippings


She hasn't finished telling it all to
me yet"
Golfers: A little boy had often
heard his father talk about the civil
war finally asked: "Father, did
any one help you put down the
rebellion7'
whats the trouble7" inquired
the Judge. "This lady lawyer wants
to make a motion, your honor ex
planned the clerk. "but her gown Is
too tight"
Tourist-I wonder IL the land
lord doesn't know 1t is against the
law to use roller towels now Reg
ular Boarder-Oh, yes, he knows IL,
but the law wasn't passed when
this toweh was put up.
Washington Star: "a woman can
be Just as se~lf-reliant and independ
ent as n man. said Meekton's wife
defiantly. "Mebbe she can, Hen
rietta mebbe she can. But not
while she wears dresses that hook
up the back"
st. Louis Globe Democrat: "Af-
ter all, you know, theie Is room
for both men and women in this
world. Men have their work to
do and women have theirs" at Is
the women's work to provide for
the inner man, and II is the mans
TO provide for the outer woman"
U~nionville Republican: The ply
stefan who attended Thomas F..
Walsh during his last illness has
filed suit for $4,000 as his fee. He
states that his fee was $50, 900 that
he was only paid $4,000 on account.
Gee, Gollyl but II costs some to
be rich.
Unionville Republican: II pays
to have cute babies. A fourteen
year old Guthrie, Okla, girl was
recently made the beneficiary OF a
will OF several thousand dollars be
cause an old man was captivated
by her baby charms while she was
about. a year old. Let all parents
maintain a dignified silence.
Record Herald Little Alfred had
grown SO weary OF being asked by
admiring strangers, "Whose little
boy are your" that one day he sur
prised every one by turning the
tables. Directing his innocent gaze
upon a very young man who was
calling upon his sister, the child
demanded sweetly, "whose papa
are your"
Holt Rustler: A certain Holt
man has a very red nose, and re-
Gently a Very inquisitive person
said to him "Please don't take any
offense, but Pm very curious to
know why your nose Ia always red?
And this Ia the reply the inquisi-
tive person got: my nose Is mere
ly blushing with pride over the fact
that II has never butted into any
ones business.
Cleveland Leader: He saw her
sitting in a dark corner and knew
that his chance had come. Noise
lessly he stole up behind her, and
before she was aware OF his pres
ence he had kissed her. "How dare
you9n she shrieked. "Pardon me-,
he bluffed, readily ~ thought you
were my sister" She stepped out
into the light. "You silly foolf"
she giggled. NJ ami" He tainted.
A stranger In a Southern town
was surprised at seeing an old
colored woman strenuously belab-
oring her husband with a stick. He
asked what she was beating the
man for. "ca'se he done opened
do coop do an turned out all de
chickens" was the reply. "Oh well
said the mediator, III you leave
the door open the Will come back
"Huhp was the indignant reply,
"Come back! Dey amt gwinter
come back; dey's gwinter GO
backw
Stanberry Herald: A pastor In
, Smith Center, the Pioneer says, re-
ceived a circular from q Kansas
City whiskey house asking him to
send the names OF some friends
whom he thought would want some
of the cheering beverage. As q
joke the preacher sent the names
OF a dozen men, mostly members
> OF his church. He was astonish-