The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1911-12-08
CASUAL REMARKS BY
sage Of SUCKER
PRECINCT
SUCKER PRECINCT HAS BEEN
CLEANED AND SPRAYED TO
A FRAGILE SAYS ROT RITE
Our Government is Getting Too Pa
ternal For Any Use and Citizens
Are Denied the Ordinary Rights
and Privileges-Boise Smart Set
Attracts Attention.
Sagebrush Ranch, Dec. 6, 1911

SaSNDl HNaANAs GCG. " lS11.
Mr.. Editor:
Sucker precinct has been cleaned up
and sprayed. There are no more
germs delecterious to health left here.
Sagebrush Ranch was fumigated and
vacuum cleaned, and our buttery
quarantined. 1t knocked the pink tea
silly, if that were possible. Anyway,
it stopped the pinking. Nam was
that mad she couldn't cafeteria any
more, and spoiled the buffe cochen
salad, scrambled the frozen egg on
the angelica cake, broke Mrs. Ro-
settles branding iron, went blanc
mango and called Mr. Wallis a PURGE
Mormon Bishop, and your old friend
Parker a marischino souffle. l didn't
blame her; and if she had broken the
branding iron over their copes it
would have suited me better. l tell
you, Mr.. Editor, our government is
getting too paternal After while we
won't have any privileges that are not
subject to inspection and quarantine.
What'll our family life be then, 1 ask
you? Think of mercerized diapers on
a sagebranch ranch! Things have
come to a pretty pass when state
hirelings can come into your own
home and find amonia in the butter,
hookworms in the ham, germicides in
the kitchen, parasites in the cham
bers, microbes in the cellar and bac-
terra in the we'll, and insist on fly pa
per in the buttery. It's time for the
suffragettes to rise up and parade ;
and you can bet Sucker precinct will
back them up to a man. If Mr.. Wal
lis ever comes back here he'll find
vacuum cleaners that won't leave any
hair on his cylindrical pate, nor wind
in his electric lights.
Mr.. Editor, write a piece for your
paper telling what Smart set" is that
they have in Boise. The neighbors
have been having debate, and there
is wide difference of opinion. Jed
Crow maintains that it's a toilet fix
ture; Mink, that it's scrambled ennui
pronounced ang-nwe); and Ike
Jones, that it's a sporting term
meaning easy money" A Boise pa
per says people of means" have a
cinch on it. 1t appeared in a piece
about getting back to the soil, hence
is of interest to your agricultural
readers.
I see the Governors Special" Is
touring the east. That's handy for
the east. All the natural curiosities
of the arid west, including "Our
Jim" and "Bannock Jim" on exhibi.
ton within. See it now: The great
drama of thirst, "What is water OF
Who is wet, in Idaho" enacted by ia,
kris from the arid west, where two
drinks are made to drink as one, and
one drunk is as drunk as two, anc
local option springs eternal in the
bosom of Brother Herwig. Film:
passed by the House of Governor:
and Jim Hill. We pay the freight
You're it,
And Our Jim" preached in Michi
gan on Sunday! Wh--ew! Come
over into Sucker precinct and save u
from our taxes.
If it cost Barney O'Neil $4,000 t.
E get defeated, what did it cost jim
Brady to defeat him? That's tn
question that is agitating the direc
primaries.
If our senator gets to be judge
who'll do the hollering? A wireless
from New York reports the statu
of Liberty standing mute.
Yours trply,
Y ROT RITE.