The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-01-22
The Pa1eOzOic
HUMOR of
MR.. Fits
BY REX BEACH
(Author of The Meier Do Well
1.-The Spoilers" Etc.
Copyright by the Red Book Corpo'
ration.)

! thiStledOWn, Captain Ieke MoOTt
brought his salt-rimed sooty little
steamer, now fifteen days out from
the westward, bound for the Sound
AS he left the bridge a figure
came bouncing down the gangplank
bald. excited and manifesty from
the far east.
Are you the captain?' it began
rabidly. My name is Hatfield, from
New York Same to you, sir! These
are my friends, also from New
York" He indicated a group on the
wharf who gazed curiously at the
steamer
We're Cooks tourists-just been
up to the Muir Glacier. Coming
bhck we stopped here and the Queen
steamed off and left us. Yes, sir!
steamed right off and left us. It's
an outrage. They knew very well
we'd be back as soon as we bought
some curios. Why, they only whis
tied four times for us. It's awful -
Il s'pose you want to go down
with me?" said the captain.
'iExactly!" agreed Mr.. Hatfield
exactly, We were in despair till
you came in sight Fancy being
cast away in this place; not a de
o1 in Villa tNtufilf -
He shuddered fearfully, and gazed
with disgust at the ragged little
town curling around the head of
the narrow ford.
Il don't see how ! can take you,
MIR. Fits here has the only state
room that would accommodate the
ladies'"
Hatfield avidly seized the pos
SCISSOR of the room. He noted that
the mans clothes were rough and
of that ubiquitous bilious tint asso-
ciated with Mackinaw. Therefore,
he forced a bank note into his hand.
Now, my good man." he said
Fconde(cdnJngly, I'VE want your
cabin. We couldn't stand this rough
life, you know It's all right for
you-but, my goodness" he shrug-
ged expressively.
Keep your money" said Fits.
THE ladies are welcome to NY
room, but | suppose it's quite a
hardship for you gentlemen to sleep
on the floor. Ever try it?"
We'll, hardly. l don't believe |
could endure it, How ones clothes
would look And he fled up the
gangplank to his companions.
A robust lady raked the schoon,
er with her lorgnette, and the min.
ers along the rail withered under
the fire.
Really quite an intelligent fe'
low,' she announced audibly, at th,
conclusion of Hatfield's report, and
Fits writhed under her curious
stare. Il trust you thanked him,
Adelbert; these people are Sd ap-
preciative."
Il don't fancy travelling with those
rough persons at ALL" complained
Mrs. Van Slyke. Thank heaven,
it's only for a few days. Do you
think we can trust them?"
Fits entered his cabin disgus--
edly, emerging with a war bag as
they took possession, and later on
when the Newport grunted and
wheezed down the inlet, Hatfield
approached him.
"Deuced good of you to give us
your room"
Fits nodded
Been in Alaska long?"
Yes"
What are you doing?'
Mining"
Strike it rich?" he continued,
bent on conversation.
Pretty fair"
Mrs. Hatfield called her husband
from his curios probing of the un-
familiar species.
"Adelbert, why do you persist
in mingling with these people. I'll
warrant that man eats with his
knife, and has grimy nails The
words reached Fits quite plainly.
1T isn't very elevating. my dear,
but they're such strange creatures.
He returned to his seat, resuming
supercillously
You were about to tell me how
much you made"
"Oh, was H." Fits in turn eyed