Evening star., 1911-01-22

"Wie geht's, was the reply.
There's them fellers now" said the as
tonished laborer.
TTNCLE JULIUS was the factotum of an
old Virginia home near Lynchburg. Sen
ator Daniel described the establishment of
an electric light plant in the old home, and
how carefully the young master of the estate
explained everything about it to the old
servant, and then asked:
Now, Uncle Julius, do you understand
all about it?'
"Yes, Marsa Chollie, l understand all
about it now, all 'ceptin what makes de kero-
sene slip through sech little wiahs."
SECRETARY WILSON of the Depart
= ment of Agriculture says that he over
heard a man in a restaurant say to another,
"You told me that Andrews was farmer,
didn't you?"
Il told you nothing of the kind. }" was the
reply. 81 told you that Andrews made his
fortune out of wheat. You never heard of a
farmer getting rich out of wheat"
FORMER Senator Pettigrew of South Da-
: kota tells about an irate citizen of Sioux
Falls who started for an editor for the pur-
pose of clubbing him. One of his friends
asked him what the editor had done to him,
and he said:
Il sent him letter signed Honestas and
he printed it; but added another S :
nNE of the insurgents was descanting on
the need of a change of the rules of the
House, when Representative Dawson of Iowa
came to the coterie and made the suggestion:
While you are tearing the old rules to
pieces, you ought to incorporate in them
Rule Y. of the Owls.
Whats that?" inquired the insurgent.
Don't take yourself too blamed seri-
ously," said Dawson.
SENATOR TILLMAN of South Carolina
= declaimed one day against a political
leader, accusing him of arbitrary and over
bearing methods, and likening him unto a
martinez Captain of militia, who inspected
his company, found fault with every one of
the men in the ranks, and finally demanded
that all of them raise mustaches.
Then young farmer stepped out from the
ranks, sallted the officer, and asked, "What
color will you have them, sir?'
SENATOR MCCUMBER of North Da-
- kota is statistician with an inquisitive
turn of mind. In one of the Capitol res
taurants the Senator had a tenderloin steak
one day, and when he received the bill he
did little figuring on the menu. After
he had finished, he said:
Now | begin to know and understand
something about this current topic of the
high cost Of living If the whole of an ordi-
nary steer is sold at the rate charged for that
steak, the animal would bring four thousand
dollars. 1t will not be long before it will be
necessary for a man to mortgage his home
whenever he wants to buy piece Of steak"
A LTHOUGH never dispute bill from my
grocer, says Senator Williams of Miss
issippi, Il did send one back once and asked
him to look it over. When dropped into the
store again, he asked me if there was anything
wrong with the bill, and | told him this:
= There's nothing the matter with the bill,
except two things. The figures on the debit
side are not right, and the figures on the
credit side are all wrong. That's all Then
paid the bill, just as it was"
CONGRESSMAN SHERWOOD Of Ohio,
Civil War veteran, recently replied to
a speech of Congressman Hobson, in behalf
of battleships, saying:
Il used to have a similar militant spirit
when | started out in the Civil War. But