New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1911-01-14
Written for the Enterprise.
JILL TO THE RESCUE.

"Shu- up, Jack. y You don t
know what your talking about
All this hullabaIoo you've been
raising about big hats makes me
! tired.
"Don't YOU know that YOU and
all the other Jacks, little. big,
Young and old. wouldn t love us
bit if we wern t in the fashion 7
you spout about our selfish
ness and want of consideration.
You re simply talking through
your hat. Neither you nor any q
YOUR tribe are to be compared to
us when it comes to the patient
self denying qualities conspicuous
in our daily lives.
SHOW me man. who to gam
our good graces will teeter thru
these streets year in and year out
on French heels under the middle
of his feet. compress his waist TIL
he looks like an elongated map of
the Western world, and sport
above the place where his brains
ought to be five pounds Of false
hair crowned by six acre truck
patch. and I'll show you a whole
flock Of live dodos
"You put up a pretty good
bluff about chat obstruction at
the moving picture shows; but
you don't 90 there to see the pie
lures. Not bit of it. You %
there to see US. If | take my hat
off, YOU don't give me a second
glance, but the girl who leaves
hers on. becomes target for the
interested inspection Of every par
of "Jack eyes, IN the house. and
that interest never abateS one Jot
or title while the brain behind
each pair of eyes is the least n
doubt as to whether or not the
wearer is eighteen or eighty
Naturally. the bigger tho hat
and the more it obstfucts the view.
the longer the attraction contln
ues. SO. you see Jack, we re not
|fools-even if we do have fits.
"Big hats draw crowd at NOV
ing picture shows just as they do
elsewhere. The people in charge
know this. They know that with
out big hats and plenty of them
the show would not 90 on; and
they are Indifferent as to whether
we remove them or not-eIse why
don't they put up cards asking
us to remove them. or leave them
at home. We'd take either horn
of the dilema if we had to. But
we never step out Of the old beat
en- rut unless we're smoked out.
1t is this beautiful quality of con
servatism that yet preserves to
us the much coveted appellatlon
of "woman lovely woman
And now Jack. last but not
least. that pitiful appeal expressed
in the fear that big hats are
destined forever to stand in the
"way Of your salvation, does take
the cake" Why not turn honest
Indian and confess the truth,
which is that you'd never 60 t
church at all if we, with our big
hats. did not proceed you. If you
really wanted to hear the sermon
you'd come up to the front and
turn your back on us. but You
don't. Instead. you hide in the
rear behind forest of hats; look
at the preacher little, out of the
window a little, and at the forest
a whole lot. and then go away
whining about the insurmountable
obstacles that stand in the way
Of "your salvation
"But Jack, You don't fool any
body, not even yourself. because
all the live ones know that you We
long since entrusted to our keep
ing, lock stock and barrel, your
interest in the Kingdom Come. and
it. some of us don't engineer you
into heaven. you'll never catch
glimpse Of the gates of gold, new
nat,nrY