Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1911-05-03
Whiskers as Seen on the
Faces Of Some Men
Make Many Other People Feel
Like Saying Amen.
Cannon, Longworih, Tyler and Car
ter Ably Discuss II.

washington, May w ii'IbNi p" iii'tN
ers are n greater detriment to man
than a bald head is still mooted
question. Four of the ablest men IN
public life debated the subject before
the National Press Club here tonight.
The bout was under -darquls u
Queensbury rules and when the bell
rang the referee threw UP his hands
in despair.
Speaker Champ Clark of the House
of Representatives called on in the
emergency declared he couldn't see
any use in either whiskers or a bald
head, and referred the whole matter
to the ways and means committee of
the House, which now has the wool
and hair schedule under eonsidera :
ton.
The bald headed side of the ques-
ton was in the hands of Senator Rob
ert T.. TAYLOR of Tennessee, and Rep.
Nicholas L.ongworth of Ohio. The
chin curtains found their champions
in Former Senator Thomas II. Carter
of Montana, and Uncls Joe Cannon
off Illinois. Taylor and Longworth
entered the ring amid cheers and APP
pladse. Their hairless domes sparkled
beneath the radiance of myriad cleo
tric lights. Senator Garter and Uncle
Joe came with their whiskers eomhed
for the fray. The shouts that greet
ed them were deafening DR.. Purc
Food Wiley of the department of ag-
riculIure was chosen as time Keeper
and each opponent was allowed 10
minutes. Scott Bone represented the
Press Club as referee during hostili-
ties but gave way to Speaker Clark
at the end. The audience was gath
cred from every part of the country
and included most of the prominent
me1 of Washington. The absence of
q verdict prevented any money from
changing hands.
Representative Longworth was the
first speaker He declared that he did
not believe that hair on the head
was worth two on the chin. Neither
was he willing to assume that bald
head-provided he should be consid
cred bald-was in any sense a handi-
cap either in public or private life. Mr.
Longworth claimed that on his birth
day every man has choice between
hair and brains. His choice. he de-
elared, was apparent.
THE condition of the disputants on
the other side is utterly inexcusable,"
asserted Mr. Longworth. In olden
days whiskers We're xcusable-they
were sworn by-but nowadays they are
only sworn at. There is no excuse for
such whiskers as those that adorn the
ehin-or chest-of the former senator
from Montana. l claim that whiskers
are unsanitary and | appeal to the
timekeeper TO uphold me-
The timekeeper called time. Mr..
Longworth insisted that he had been
interrupted and these Interruptions
should not be taken from his time.
DIR. Wiley insisted that the Interrupt
lions were the best part of the argu-
ment.
Senator Carter was introduced as
exhibit "A" for the whiskers.
No man" said he. ever voluntarily
wore bald head A bald head is an
affection, standing joke, physical
infirmity. We pity, but we do not
blame our opponents" Senator Car
ter insisted that the beard was the real
thing. He ridicuIed mustaches and
declared they first called out the name
of whiskers. as they whisked back and
forth in the breeze.
NON fair Maiden he said. lever
feared a promise from a bearded man.
The beard is badge of manhood. A
bearded man needs only opportunity.
lie first man to cut off boards was AL
exander the Great. 1t was brutal
measure of warfare-to prevent antag-
onists from seizing the soldiers by the
beard.
Let lis all wear boards and there will
be no more warfare in this troubled
world of ours.
There is another thing about the
bald-headed man. He naturally goes to
prison without previous preparation
The subject is ready for the work. 1t
takes some trouble to prepare beard
cd man for that unfortunate habita-
ton. Our opponents tonight having
neither hair nor whiskers were COM
PEELED to take the side assigned to
them The bald-headed man will be
the butt of jokes from the beginning to
the end
Senator Taylor, introduced as Ivory
pated Moses of the Tennessee Democ-
racy," declared that when Mr.. Cam
non was Speaker of the House he shook
pestilonce and war from his horrid
beard He dwelt upon the nobility OF
the bald peaks of the mountains and
the bald heads of the American eagles
circling about them in the azure at
mosphere. Coming down to bald facts,
he added
"Whcn | was born few short sum-
mers ago, | had a bald head. My Ia
Their before me had a bald mead ana
when / opened my eyes and looked
upon his FURNISHED dome, ! thought
all the world bald headed. And when
my mother pressed her smooth cheeks
to mine did not think there was such
a thing in the world as whiskers.
"Onee I had raven tresses, but, like
autumn leaves. they left me. Ever since
| lost them I have had horror of hair
and supreme contempt for whiskers. On
the other hand. I have always admired a
bald head as a symbol of purity and in
nocence."
Uncle Joe Cannon, declaring he had new
er been funny in his life-at least not