The Washington herald., 1911-05-27
By JULIA CHANDLER MANI.

There came to me yesterday a letter
from two young women asking my per-
sonal opinion and advice in the wearing
OF mourning for a long-absent sister. who
has died in a foreign land. protesting
girl adopt unhygienic and detested
clothes In the memory of one who would
not so punish them II she knew.
DO you think her absence from home
would excuse us for not wearing mourn
ing during the summer months? We dis
like It so much. but fear the criticism of
| our friends" the letter ends.
Since l have not been asked for the
rules OF social etiquette in the matter.
but for my personal opinion, 1 am frank
In the admission that do not believe we
have the right to cast a shadow of de-
preston over the living because of a
death in our home. particularly when no
Other motive prompts the infiction OF
grave clothing upon ourselves and our
families. except the fear of the criticism
OF our friends" as these young women
expires it frankly in their letter.
Leaves Appalling Gap.
Death is a beautiful transition for the
one who goes, but a condition that leaves
all gap III tHt AN-S lIdt must
still go on in the. temporal body.
AS a mark of respect for the dead. as
a badge of reverence to the memory of
lost one. / have nothing to say against
mourning, but is this more TO be con-
sidered than the preservation of bright
ness in the daily lives OF those who are
still with US?
Many physicians consider mourning
detrimental to the health. and advise
against the wearing of 1t. particularly
the mourning veil over the face, that
stiles one with the smell of black dye
and shuts out the life-giving air.
Without. however. dwelling on the pos
sible influence of black dye upon the
health. it is an indisputable fact that a
continuous association with mourning
clothes is most depressing TO the spirit.
and what is depressing to the spirit will
react on the nervous system to its un-
doing.
Death leaves an emptiness in a home
that is in itself SO utter and so final that
II has always seemed TO me that to force
an, additional note of melancholy by
having our clothes conform to the in
evitable condition is an unnecessary mis-
fortune.
Clear Shadows from Other Lives.
The heart must mourn its loss because
the heart is human. The mind cannot
fling out thoughts that the void death has
left thrusts upon it. but We can Danish
the gloom Of our thoughts and heart in
the outward signs and symbols, and it
seems to me our bounden duty is to clear
the shadow OF our own grief from the
lives Of others as far as it lies within
our power to do so.
A wife and mother whom know lost
her mother about six months ago, the
mother who was one of the most cher
ished beings in the world to her. made
doubly precious by her presence in her
daughters home.
The world was astounded that, except
for the funeral. the dead woman's
daughter did not wear mourning.
The neighbors gossiped about 1t. Her
nearest friends whispered that they
thought she loved her mother devotedly
and would surely pay her the respect of
wearing mourning for her" Others de-
clared the woman incapable of grief
And all the while in her heart of hearts
the daughter CT the dead woman felt her
unutterable loss as probably none of her
criticisers were. capable of feeling grief
and woe.
But there was her own home. There