The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1911-02-09
"Who is the biggest fool you ever


well, like that. What kind of
wife do you expect her to make?
How should | know her qualiflca-
lions for wife? Marriage is lottery.
Other men may marry for qualifica-
tlons' but we youngsters don't pretend
to forecast what girls going to be.
And don't believe the old ones hit it
any better than we"
What makes you set your flancee
down as a fool?"
III tell you. but must begin back
a little way. She's Madge Whitridge,
only 1t should be Madge Wildfre in
stead. Not that she is so wild as she
was. She's been quleted down n bit by
a certain little happening that came
near resulting disastrously. She near.
| ly caused my death"
you don't mean it! Not intention
ally, suppose"
wei, whether there was a spark of
intention in it don't know. You never
can tell what n woman is going to do
or why she does it. We can't be sure
L
caused my death any prosecuting at
torney might have made very good
case against her Of doing it with NAL
Ice aforethought. And to tell the truth
I'm not sure but she did"
"And you're going to marry her?"
"You bet-that is, if she doesn't shake
me for another fellow, though | don't
IA a no
might have done it before this thing
I'm going to tell you about happened;
but, as said. il sobered her. and she's
quite tame. That's the time | chose for
putting salt on the birds tail.
There's more appropriateness in |
this simile than you may imagine, as
you'll see in a moment. But for the |
incident We floor gliders,' as one
called our dancing club of young PEG
ple-there was not one over twenty, /
and some of the girls weren't over fif- /
teen-cOncluded we'd celebrate the
Mardi Gras with n masquerade ball. I'd
been getting sweet on Madge-Wildfre
/ may as well call her-and about the
time the costumes were being arrang-
kitten to warm brick. In fact, we
arranged to have corresponding cos
tunes for the ball.
This was after Rostands play of
'Chantccler' came out and everybody \
was talking about ii. You know that
the leading lady chicken in the play
is the hen pheasant, the leading gen.
flAInun hafnfr A oh tf.In |
We concluded to get ourselves up as
these two birds. | was month ar
ranging my OUTFIT did 1t all myself.
you know-but when l got it done it
was a corker. / made the body of n
rooster, which | strapped under my
arms, with an elegant head and comb
in front and fine display of cocks
tail behind, the tail being made OF .
tissue paper of different colors. You
couldn't have told it from the real
thing.
81 went to see Madge the afternoon
before the ball. 1t so happened that
we got to quarreling, and | went
Off in a huff. This was unfortunate,
to say the least. We had spent lot
of time getting up our bird rigs and
expected to make lot of fun billing
and cooling during the ball, and the
worst of it was. now that we were in
just the opposite condition from what
we expected, we hadn't time to get
other rigs"
"What was the cause of the quar-
rel?"
'We tried on our costumes in adj
vance, and when she walked l told
her she waddled like a duck. TIL
made her mad and she fred back, and
We soon were in for it hot and heavy.
when the ball came Off. instead OF
walking about together, / strutting,
he cuddling up beside me, we were as
ar apart as possible and when we
net glared at each other. After awhile
saw her sitting in a window with
led Tucker. This made me all fred
ealous as well MS mad, and to show
ny spleen what did / do but go up
lear where they were sitting and
vhisk around with the intention of
urning my back on Madge. | didn't
alculate how near my tail feathers II
we're to them, but 1t seems they n
rushed their faces. This made Madge Of
ladder than ever. Ned had just struck a.
match to light cigarette. Madge az
erked it out Of his hand and held il Il
nder the tip of my tail. If
"In second the whole of IL was in Il
ames tried to get the rooster part is
me off, but IL was tied on so well 8,
nat l couldn't do II. The flames ran I'll
rom the tail TO the wings and from
le wings TO the rest of the body. The W
hole roomful of people rushed toward Ct
Ie, scared out of their seven senses, &C
very one crying, Put him outr II
neither they meant to put out the A
imes or put me out to prevent my set
ng them all afire | don't know. / IN
as bowling with the burns and with n,
ar when n Roman senator took of ev
S toys and wrapped 1t about me. 10
81 was taken TO carriage and home nd
wasn't burned at all, but just to pun 40
b the COMPOUNDED girl that applied 81,
e match | gave out that | might die. -
he was knocked clean out. and when ".
let up on her she wilted. she had -,
It n match to my tail; | put salt on