davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1911-01-17
ANNUAL MEETING.

The ladies aid society Of the Uni
versalist church met in annual ses-
sion last Wednesday afternoon with
Mrs. V. 4. Anderson and elected the
following officers for the coming year:
President-Mrs. w. A. Green.
Vice PTes.-Mrs. A. V. Gearhart.
Sec. and Treas.-Miss Kate Bentley.
Chairman of the Work Committee
Mrs. E. A. Gooding and other mem
bers of the work committee, Mrs. G.
G.. Yawkey and Mrs A. III. Reid.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1911-01-17
Death In Roaring Fire

may not result from the work Of fire.
bugs, but often severe burns are caused
that make QUICK need for Bucklen's
Arnica Salye, the quickest surest cure
for burns, wounds, bruises, boils, sores.
1t subdues inflammation. 1t kills pain.
1t so0ths and heals Drives of skin
eruptions, ulcsfs or piles. Only 25c at
W. W. AIbers.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1911-02-09

Major J. H. Frame as chairman and
Is going over the vouchers on file in
the state auditors Office. 1t is said
the report of the committee will be
highly interesting as disclosing the ma.
ture of some of the bills allowed and
paid and that witnesses may be sum-
moned by the committee to explain
in what manner they aided in the pro-
lection Of game, having received sal.
aries al special game wardens during
the months of July, August, Septem-
Der and October The report of the
state game and fish board does not
explain where the funds collected
we're expended, merely stating the ex-
penditures in lump sums.
It Is said that some Of the leaders
q the senate and house are planning
% get the work of the assembly so
we'll in band that they may bring
about final adjournment about ten
days before the usual time. 1t will be
the first time that such thing has
been done and old time observers BE-
lieve such action is doubtful.
J. w. FOLEY
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1911-02-09

t0r Tale { opposed the proposed bill
and made minority report, but the
committees recommendation that the
bill pass was adopted. The physi.
clans Of the state have protested
against the passage Of the proposed
bill, claiming 1t will cast serious re.
lection on the fraternity in the state
and become temptation to some
members Of the profession to 20 into
the liquor dispensing business, thus
lowering the standard Of the profes.
sion. The druggists generally seem
70 want the new bill and are working
for It and the temperance people ap.
Dear to be satisfied with Il.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31
Indian Courage

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
 Quanah Parker, chief of the Comanchs Indians, who died some weeks ago, en- ioyed the reputation of being the wittiess man of his race. He was likewise mao of affairs and something of lobbyist. - had appeared before the committee oe Indian affairs regularly for years. ana the members of that committee had be- come intimately acquainted with him.
 Two or three years ago Uncle Sam issued mandate to the effect that the In- dians in the future should take unto themselves but one wife, explains Iippin- cott's. Quanah, appearing before the com- mittee, told its members that many of the men of his tribe had more than ono wife. He was admonished to go homo and tell them that this condition of af. fairs could no longer exist. and that the surplus wives must be sent home to their perents.
 Last session Parker again appeared be- fore the committee, and the following conversation took place between him and commtteeman:
 Did you tell your bucks that they must have but one wife, Parker?"
 "Yes, me tell 'um," responded the In- dian.
 Did you get rid of the extra wivesr'
 ''Yes, all gone" answered the chief
 But" urged the committeeman. 'I am told that you yourself have six wives."
 "Yes, me got six" said Parker.
 "Now, this will not do. Parker. You have to get rid of those extra wives. You go back and tell them to leave. Send them back to their parents. Tell them to go home.'
 You tell 'um," responded the Indian.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31
BY GEORGE ADE PICTURES BY ALBERT LEVERING

phant waving a prop Palm, but she spurned it, because she was ready to do Desdemona at Moments Notice.
 As for the Laudatory Article writ ten by would-be Willie Winter of the wild and woolly West, she could not find any one in the neighborhood of Forty-second Street who had even heard of the Tank Town in which her Folks were so Prominent.
 In order to get Experience, she signed up with o. k. Company, playing the Part of the deaf-and- dumb Lady who crosses the Stage and removes the Tea Things early in the Second Act.
 When the Troupe went on the Rocks at Mauch Chunk, Penna., the erstwhile Favorite of the Pocahontas Club found herself sitting on Trunk marked Theatre" standing off deputy Sheriff and waiting for an Answer to her Wire.
 The First Old Woman, who remem- bered Edwin Booth, came and sat be- side her.
 Do not be discouraged, Honey" said She. Go right back and start all over, and possibly sometime Next Year you will again have the blessed Privilege of going up a neglected ] Alley twice a Day and changing your Clothes in Barn. Any Girl with your Looks and Family Connections can curl up in Four-Poster at night and then saunter to the Bath over soft Rug in the Morning, but only throbbing Genius can make these Night Jumps in Day Coach and stop at a Hotel which is operated as an Auxiliary to a first-class saloon. It will be Hard Shedding for the first 15 or 20 Years but, by the time you are 45, you may reasonably count on getting 20 weeks out of every 52, running around in front of a Kine- toscope."
 Lilla pulled into the Scene of her Early Triumphs with mere sugges- tion of No. Greece Paint still ling ering behind her Ears.
 As the Train rolled through the Yards, the Foreman of the Section Gang narrowly escaped being hit in the Head with a tin Makeup Box,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

wore a Yellow Kimono and had her Meals sent to the Room.
 Father saw that he was Hooked, so he loaded her into a Parlor Car and took her up to School of Dramatic Art to have her searched for Talent.
 The Head Crimp of this refined Shake-Down watched her do the Scene in which Ophelia goes Dotty and picks the imaginary Hollyhocks, and when it was over and Shakespeare had been reduced to- Pulp, he slapped old Ready Money on the Back and told him his Daughter was a Phenom. She had the dramatic Instinct and the Fire of Genius and that indefin- able Something which enables Eva Tanguay to earn more than the Pres ident of the United States.
 With couple of hundred Lessons in Correct Breathing, and the Vocal Chords loosened up with a Glove Stretcher, and row of Scallops put on the Technique, Mary Anderson would be. right back in our midst. | So Lila got ready to fill the Vacan- cy caused by the Retirement of Ellen Terry, while Papa went back to the little Office in one corner of the Warehouse and began to sign Checks
 It took many an Egg to have Lila properly Conservatoried.
 At last she came home With a Di- ploma showing that she was an Ac- tress.
 After that, she merely needed a Play and a Company and lot of Scenery and Manager and a The atre and the soft old Public buying of the Scalpers, in order to realize her modest Ambition to become a Real Star.
 She took her Diploma and the Lo- cal Press Notices up to New York to see what she could get on them, and found 10000 other incipient Modjes- kas hitting the worn Trail that led from one Agency to another.
 Artistic Temperaments were more Abundant than Lamp Posts and get ting an Audience with Big Gun was just as easy as Opening a Time Lock with a Hat Pin.
 She had an offer at the Hippo drome to walk in front of an Ele-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

time she stepped out from behind a Tree.
 She scored what is known in the Ib- sen Cult as a Knockout.
 At Il P. M. she was up on lone some Eminence, right between Sara Bernhardt and Julia Marlowe, waiting for Telegram from c. F. to come on and tackle any Role that was too Heavy for Maude Adams.
 The proud Parents awoke next morning to discover that Lady Mac beth was boarding with them. s
 When she moved from one Room to another the Portieres had to be spread the entire length of the Pole, so as to make Room for her Head.
 A local Haberdasher, who had been plotting to surround her with new Bungalow and lot of Mission Furni- ture, went to call as per Usual and found her away Up Stage, trying to look like Margaret Anglin in the Big Scene.
 She was too busy to Hold Hands, for she was mapping out Career which terminated with an Electric Sign on Broadway and the Street damned with uptown Limousines.
 So the Cents Furnisher moved down the street to Brick House, the unmarried Inmates of which would begin burning Greek Fire and sending up Balloons every time Live One | Slammed the Front Gate. Lila had the Bacillus Theatricus gnawing away in every part of her System.
 She could see the magnificent Play House crowded from Pit to Dome, just as the Producing Manager sees it ev- cry August when the Pipe is drawing freely.
 She could hear the Leading Man in the Dress Suit say, as he pointed up the Marble Stairway, "Ah, here comes the Countess Zika now" And then she would enter trippingly, wearing 5000 worth of spangled Raiment, whereupon the Vast Audience would stand up and Cheer.
 Whilst enjoying this Trance she
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

I told you so,' which causeth him to go forth and drown his sorrow in drink'
 The ex-mayor was ip good voice ana read well, but as he finished and was taking his seat the toastmaster said, T read that piece in The Age-Herald about two years ago, and as had run for the legislature a few years before and lost all. save honor, it quickly came home to me"-and tears trickled down his face
 "Short skirts make the girls look shorter and the boys look longer" were the words on David B. Grace's card, and while he made no allusion to skirts, long or short, he was iluminatinf in philo- sophie way. He gave expression to these thoughts;
 "Our friend, Ranse Mabry, declares that he can marry any woman he pleases as he has never pleased one he is still q bachelor. Many bachelors are deterred from matrimony by the fact that wives now govern their husbands, As women become more and more the boss, men arc less inclined to marry, and in the course of time q married man will be so rare
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

kane, Sr.. who is the founder of the large concrete firm of Dulxane x Company. He has a worthless son who spends his money like it was water. The father in the course of time becomes very weary putting up as it were the wherewithai for his sons waywardness.
 The boy is out in San Francisco on some futile errand. and receives d tele- gram from Dukane, Sr telling him that there is a check for him at the company's office for $1o0, and unless he uses the check and goes to Melton, a far away western town near which the Dukane Company is building a large irrigation dam, and goes to work, he can consider all relations between himself and his father at an end.
 What he must do at Melton is simply to look over the works and make a report to the New York office.
 On his way to the camp a tramp roha him of his clothes and leaves his own for James to wear, which he dons, arriving at the works dressed in this fashion. No one believes that he is Dukane. Jr., but he goes to work just the same. and soon finds that there is crookedness on the part of the chief engineer, and so decides to continue his incognito.
 Of course the grl' appears on the scene and James saves her life and finally triumphs over his enemies and with hig intended wife returns to New York to the heaving bosom of a forgivlng father. AMONG THE HOLIDAY BOOKS RE-
 CEIVED.
 TASTEFUL BALLADS" by Burges Johnson. Illustrated. Harper & Brothers. New York
 IAN ACCIDENTAL HONEYMooN.~ hv David Potter. With illustrations in color by George w Gage. Decorations by Edward Stratton Holloway J. B. Lippin- colt Company, Philadelphia.
 JOYCE OF THE JASMrNEs." by Ralph Barbour With illustrations in color by Clarence F. Underwood. DecorAr tions by Edward Stratton Holloway. J. B. Lppincott Company, Philadelphia.
 THE LIKABLE CHAP" by Henry McHarg Davenport. With Illustrations by A. D. Kahn. Sturgis S Walton Company New York.
 "WALLY; A STORY OF THE WEST." by Guy Steely, F'rontispiece by W. W. Fawcett Dodd, Meade & Company. New York.
 FAMOUS PRIvATEERSMEN AM ADVENTURES OF THE SEA-" by Charles l.. Johnston. Illustrated. IL. C.. Page & Company, Boston.
 'TNDIAN TOPICS OR EXPERIENCEn IN INDIAN MISSIONS" by Rev. D. A. Sanford. The Broadway Publishing com- pany.
 "A BLOOD MOON, AND oFHUD TALES OF DIVORCE" by Irene Osgood- The Broadway Publishing Company.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

white family the mind to which all l things appeal as living forces and all lives as speaking intelligences." With Thomas Nelson Page and Joel Chandler Harris, the greatest of our Southern dialect writers, Mrs. Cooke has taken her place. and when the Sweet Gospel Chariot" that our old 'Mammies' have lullabied our mothers to sleep with and paofied our baby's hearts with, swings low" at last for them, and | they are received into that place where many mansions be" with their own white folks"-because to the real old fashioned Nanny" heaven wouldn't , be heaven at all unless her "chillun" were there with the rest of the family, Mrs. Cocke's stories will remain an ev- erlasting tribute to the old Southern regime, than which there has been no more beautiful or interesting period in all the world
 If we were called upon to make selection of the best, or even two or three of the best stories in the collec- ton in 'Bypaths in Dixie" it would be difficult matter, for from the initial story, "The Rooster Telephone" to the closing Mister Tall Pines Christmas Tree" there is not dull moment.
 Nothing could be more delicious than "Old Man Gully's liant, "Shoo Fly" and Mister Bad 'Simmon Tree" but after
 
 in the story of Mister Rattle Snake" when Nanny is telling Willis and Mary Van the yarn, and she says, Well suh, dem hopper grasses blow an hoe an weed an pick bugs off an" Nanny, don't call them Hopper Grasses. Mary Van says you must say Grass Hoppers."
 Tn de name of de Lord, whut do May Van know bout varmints an beastes?'
 My papa says you must call them Grass Hoppers," protested Mary Van.
 T doan speck Mist'r Hop'r Grass men, suhn ter yo' pa, dat Hopr wus jes CT nickname, did hep
 The little girl was obliged to ack- nowledge that no such communicat ton had taken place.
 Den he aint got no opinions ter scatter on de subjec'-Hop'r Grass say he wush ter de Lawd fokes'd stop namin' him hine part befo', enny how. He says he plum ti'd white fokes med lin in his 'far's-''
 Many, go on about Mister Rattle snake" Willie began to fidget.
 "Set still den, femme see whar bouts wuS at'-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31
THE GERMANS. !"
II1EI GEIkMANS. By I. A. R. Wylie. The Bobbs- -Merri Company, Indianapolis.

By I. A. R, Wylie. The Bobbs- Merrill Company, Indianapolis.
 Although Germany and its natives has been the theme of innumerable books. no author of recent years has written more Interestingly on the subject than I. A. R. Wylie.
 The reader Is taken bodily, as it were to the inermost circles of the South German towns and allowed to see ex- actly how the Germans live and thrive and have their being, and although we Americans have always regarded them as an interesting nation, still the au- thor throws light upon their personal habits, their thrift and their intelli- gence that we are not intimately ac- quainted with.
 It Is an account from the viewpoint of an outsider who has lived among them long enough to have an unbiased in- sight into their ways and customs.
 So many phases of the Germans as a nation are discussed by the author that 1t is impossible to take up every sep arate and distinct phase, but from the beginning, which Is in the little town of Karlsruhe, the author deals with the social life of the people and tells of their festivals, the most interesting of which are Christmas and the Emperor's birthday.
 The most serious aspect of the Ger man character is then taken up, the author pointing out the particular ten- dencies and conditions which have made the Germans what they are today Sal lent points in the educational system of the empire are brought out to a con- siderable extent, and a good deal of space is devoted to the German women
 The accepted idea of the German wo- man is to degree refuted, for the author declares that she is we'll edu- cated and occupies an important posi- ton in her husbands life as well as being an excellent wife and mother
 According to I. A. R. Wylie, the Ger man woman if anything is better educa- ted than her English cousins, and her interests are larger and more diversi- fled, but she doesn't talk so much about them as they are universally taken for granted.
 'The Germans" is written for an Eng fish audience with the purpose to show that Individually and as a nation they are likable. whole-souled. fine lot of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31
Geo. Wards Bachelor Dinner

Frank S. Foster, the banker, was, How to succeed in Birmingham
 Early to bed,
 Early to rise
 Work like h-ll
 And tell no lies"
 Following Judge Ferguson's example, Foster did not alIude to the theme as- signed him. He came prepared however, to speak a piece which he felt would, to certain extent interest George Ward He had memorized it. but when his turn came, being seized with something like stage fright, he got the host to read it for him. It was this:
 ''The Candidate. He cometh up like a flower and retireth from the race busted. His friends fill him with false hopes and atmosphere. He swelleth like toad and thlnketh the earth is his'n. He smileth upon all mankind and sloppeth over with good humor. He. kisseth the children and privily cheweth clove when he meeteth a preacher, and as he converseth with him in pious tones he standeth to the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

Reno have as a motto, Limited we stand, divided we stand it better
 Any man can marry, but it takes a hero to resist the temptation. A mar ried man is usually one who was so bad that some woman decided to reform him.
 Bachelors have ever before them the possibility of breach of promise suit, such as friend Judge B. M. Allen passed through in farce on the stage in the early days of Birmingham's history" MT. Grace concluded his remarks with this aphorism, "rhe scientist has suc- ceeded in perfecting the diriglble bal loon, but has not yet made dirigible wife"
 Gus Camn told some irrisistible stories.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31
f@o 1 AMRz

those cast down by their sheer lone- hess. In his address of welcome there hs nothing Falstaffian. Rather it was heart to heart speech marked by grace dicton and manly tenderness. |On each place card was printed a |hst. For instance, here was the sen- Enent which the Hon. Charles w. Fer Pson, senior judge of the city court, |ls to discuss: 'rhe Kiss-Of no use to ! e, yet absolute bliss to two. The small |y gets it for nothing, the young man
 S to steal 1t, and the old man has to | y It."
 i heard the late. Josh Billings deliver
 lecture on milk. He began by saying, he best part of milk is the cream" and
 en went on amusing his audience, but
 yer again mentioned milk or referred
 it in any manner whatever It was
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31
The Telescope Husband

From the Los Angeles Times.
 Col. Robert M. Thompson, at his recent dinner to Admiral Togo in New York, said of the feminist movement:
 "The women who go in for this move- ment have usually poor sticks for hus- bands. But perhaps I should say, instead of poor sticks for husbands, telescopes for husbands"
 And then Colonel Thompson smiled
 'The telescope husband," he explained. ''is the sort that can be drawn out, seen through, and then shut up.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

that he will be captured and confined fin a cage and exhibited as the only living specimen eXtant of a once numerous tribe.
 He who embarks on tue sea of matri- mony takes passage in ship that IS more of a prison than a palace.
 "To many married men the path that leads to Reno is the pathway of peace Reno is the great divide. The colony at
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

hurled from the rear of the observa- tion Car.
 Next day she had strip of Red Carpet spread for the Haberdasher and was learning to Cook in Paper Bags.
 Whenever she hears of Good Show coming to Town, she invites
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

It was a typical Bohemian affair-for- ner Mayor George B. Wards Christmas light dinner at Baroness, complimentary b, a few of his bachelor friends. Fred flick T. Monks, formerly of Ireland, but low law librarian at the Jefferson county |ourt house. filled the roll of toastmaster.
 The host himself being a bachelor of 40 Finters, gathered about him at the fes- i've board others of the celibate state In |rder to cheer the spirits if might be,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

and when he became serious, spoke elo- uuently on some of the higher duties of life, rather than touch upon the toast assigned him, ''When you're broke you stand about as much show in this world as celluloid dog would of catching an asbestos cat in hell.'
 P. w. Hall was expected to say some thing on "The Business Mans Prayer which included these lines: Let MT. Tomorrow go to the devil. Send us the man who gets things done
 today,
 And we will pay the freight" But he spoke briefly, yet happily, on Sunshine
 Frank Demere was at his best when
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

F's part and also on the part of the ! guests when 8 climax was being Id lest the comedy lady who waited he table might have returned unex- Idly from the kitchen.
 |er Judge Ferguson had exhausted 'und of stories he touched upon the Rgette movement and good roads, . i'd not commit himself to either. He ed out the fact with some emphasis Be suffragettes were waxing in Bir-
 |n. and when some one asked him
 stood on the question, his dip re answer was. 'I am for what is
 sentiment. on the card in front of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

leeward and curbeth his breath as with a strong bit
 "He goeth home late at night to his weary wife with a beery breath and cold feet. The grafter lieth in wait and pulleth his leg to the queens taste He
 naileth the lie, but before election comes he runneth short of nails. He giveth lib- erally to the church; he subscribeth a good sum to the band; he sendeth small keg hither and a large keg thither. He contributeth to the poor whose barn was burned; he yieldeth up his substance with apparent alacrity. After election he goeth out behind the barn and kicketh himself and teareth his hair and caleth himself a Rotterdam fool. He returneth to the house and addresseth himself to the wife of his bosom, Behold driveing idiot; gaze upon a dodgasted simpleton; cast your eye upon a beetle-headed chump who had not sense enough to come in out of the rain.' Then his wife replieth,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

Poultry King, played a Daughter of the Southland, with her Hair shaken out and Lamp Black on her Eye Winkers, so as to look like Maxine.
 All of her Relations and the other Members of the Pocahontas Bridge Whist and Pleasure Club were In Front, and they gave her Hand every
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31
GEORGE ADES NEW FABLES IN SLANG (1912 Model)
 0 tue Dume espukT 10 Ia c or

all of her Friends to come out to the Bungalow and Play Rhum on the Mis- sion Furniture.
 MORAL: The True Friend of Hu- manity is one who goes to the Home Talent Benefit for Something and Kisses all Evening.
 Copyright, 1911, by George Ade.)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-31

The New Fable of the Divine Spark
 That Had Short Circuit
 ~ NE Evening at converted H Rink known as the Grand i Opera House, a flock of in- strepid Amateurs put on War Drama
 Lila, principal Child of the Egg and