davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-01-24
spECIAL SALE TOMORROW

Honey Jumbles, 3 dOz, 25c.
On sale at both retail stores
Purity Baking Company.
400 n. Oregon ga MeSa'
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW
Many Women There Are Who VIII
Understand Just Why Long-suf-
fering WORN" Turned.

Several years ago an Atchison cou.
pie were living happily together. The
community was shocked one day when
the wife applied for divorce and got
1t. The story of the divorce has come
out. 1t seems that the wife went into
the kitchen and shaved" all day. She
made bread, pies, cakes, cookies and
pork and beans. She boiled tongue.
made potato salad, stuffed eggs,
made custard and brown bread.
When her husband came home at s
o'clock In the evening he found her
dressed up. And on the table was
cold tongue, pork and beans, fresh
bread, cake, cookies, pie, potato salad,
stuffed eggs, brown bread and Gus
tard. The wife thought her husband
would say: you poor darling, how
you have worked today!" Instead, he
said in a surprised. way: COLD sup
per! Lord, but you have an easy
time!" His wife did not answer him.
She was speechless with rage, and
he does not know to this day why she
asked the court to be divorced lron
a BRUTE.-Atchison Globe.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
SCALP WAS BADLY AFFECTED

II am more than gratif1ed by the
successful results I obtained by the
use of the Cuticura Remedies. For
several years my scalp was very bad
ly affected with dandruff and scales.
MY scalp itched terribly at times and
my hair fell out. MY coat collar would
be actually white with the dandruff
that had fallen from my head My
profession being that of barber, I
was particular about having my hair
In good condition, and was also in a
position to try many lotions, ETC., for
the scalp. These had little or no eff
feet. I had heard so much about the
Cuticura Remedies that / resolved to
try them. I shampooed my head
with Cuticura Soap twice week and
after drying my head thoroughly, i
anointed parts OF my scalp with Cuti-
cura Ointment. I was pleased from
the outset, and continued to keep up
this treatment. To think that only
three cakes of Cuticura Soap and one
and one-half boxes of Cuticura Oint-
ment rid my head Of this annoying
trouble made me feel quite contented.
have now got thick growth of hair
and I am never troubled with any
dandruff or itching Of the scalp. There
is no question but that the Cuticura
Remedies cured me. I frequently
recommend them to my customers.
and they think great deal of them"
(Signed) John F. Williams, BOT Nor
folk Street, Dorchester, Boston, Mass
July %, 1910.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
WHY, YES, SHE GOT THE NOTE
Beautiful Roses Appreciated, but
There Was a "Fly In tho
Ointment"

A young man whose gallantry - In
excess of his means sought to remedy
this defect and to save the expense
of the money required for the pur-
chase of flowers for his lady loves by
arranging with a gardener to let him
have bouquet from time to time, In
return for his CASTOR clothes. So 1t
happened that one day he received q
bunch Of beautiful roses. which he at
once dispatched to her house. In
sure anticipation Of friendly vel
come he called on the young woman
that evening. He got frosty recep-
ton.
"Did-er-did you get my flowers
today?" he was finally forced to ask.
Eyes, and the note that went with
them"
Mote? Why, did / send note?"
"You did. A disgraceful note,
scrawled with a blunt pencil, on dirty
paper. Here 1t is. don't understand
1t, and / don't think you are very
humorous"
The note read as follows:
Here's your flowers, but you owe
me pair of pants for EN-. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

bloated and swollen and at night had
to gasp for breath. Kidney secretions
were in terrible condition and to bend
my back was agony. Life was one
constant round Of suffering and re-
ally thought death would be a relief.
I began using Doan's Kidney Pills and
today am well, happy woman"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. 80 cents o
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. 7.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
NextI

There were couple Of dandy fish
liars In the Colonial lobby. We didn't
have time to get their names, adj
dresses and photographs, but we lin
gered long enough to hear the CONVEX
sation. The poignant part thereof
was as follows:
How much did your fish weight?
II didn't have no hay scales with
me, you NUT. But when pulled him
out 1t lowered the lake four inches"
"Some fish," commented the other.
without the CULVER of an eyelash.
Reminds me of some good sport |
had duck hunting last fall. I fired at
a flock Of ducks and gathered up four
quarts of toes. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
Breaking q hobo,s Heart.

Manager Gus Hartz was standing
near the opera house box Office when
one of two panhandlers who had en-
tered the lobby approached him, and.
holding out an addressed and sealed
envelope. begged for the price of a
postage stamp.
ITS for me mudder, boss" he sniv-
eled. "You'se wouldn't turn down er
guy fer de price er de stamp, would
youse?"
Never" said the manager, deftly
grasping the envelope and throwing it
through the box Office window. Here,
Fred" ADDRESSING himself to Treas
urer Fred Coan, stamp this and have
1t mailed"
The velocity of the proceeding fair
ly took the panhandler's breath away.
Then, backing away to where his part
ner awaited him, he whispered: Moth
in doing. bottle guys wise. "-Cleve-
land Leader.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
The Lesser Evil.

Gresham college In 1719 was the
scene of famous serio-comic duel be-
tween two celebrated doctors, Doctor
Mead and Doctor Woodward, both Of
whom were lecturers at the college.
While walking down Bishopsgate
street one morning they Quarreled
over some medical question and adj
journed to the square of the college
to fight 1t out with swords. Woodward
fell, wounded in several places, where
upon Mead magnanimously said Take
thy life" Anything but your physic,"
Kissed back the chagrined Woodward
ere he swooned away.-London Chron-
icle.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
A Business Head.

my boy" says the thoughtful father,
I notice that when you get penny
or nickel, you do not place it in the
little savings bank Santa Claus brought
for you last Christmas"
Not always, papa" answers the
bonny child
And / believe, II / am not mis-
taken, that you spend your pennies
and nickels at the little store around
the corner"
''Yes, papa"
'Well, my boy, If you do not save
your money now, what do you expect
ito do when you grow up?"
IT am going to run little store
around the corner, papa. Then I'll
get all the pennies and nickels."
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

She cannot make biscuit,
He cannot make a cent,
She knows no thing of broiling,
He is not built for toiling,
Yet still they think they'll risk it
Though he can't pay the rent
She cannot make a biscuit,
He cannot make q cent.
She rises late of mornings,
He stays out late of nights,
She plays quite well at euchre,
He has heap of lucre,
And yet in spite Of warnings
Their troth they want to plight:
She rises late of mornings,
He stays out late at night.
She cannot fry potatoes,
He cannot drive a nail,
She never had a worry,
He never had to hurry,
She cannot slice tomatoes,
AT beating rugs he'd fall;
She cannot fry potatoes.
He cannot drive a nail.
She is no good at dNsting,
He cannot mend a chair
Nor can be huild a fire,
Yet she is his desire
And with affection trusting
She knows they'll have no care
She is no good at busting,
He cannot mend chair.
They'll blame 1t all on Cupid
When life is going wrong,
And each will scold the other
And she'll go home to mother
And say that he is stupid
While he'll use phrases strong,
They'll blame it all on Cupid
When life is going wrong.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
Would Heed the Warning.

"Hortensia," cautioned the mother.
eff that young Mr.. Lovum were to
call on me as he does on you, and
were to ask me to kiss him, as he
does you, l should show him the door
Instantly"
Eyes, mamma" replied the dutiful
daughter.
After the young mans next call the
mother asked Hortensia:
did you follow my advice with re-
gard to Mr.. Lovum?"
Eyes, mamma. ! told him you said
II he asked you to kiss him you would
show him the door"
"Ah, and what did he say to THAR"
SHE said he wouldn't ask you to-
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
Gloomy Outlook.

Nov, Mme Screechy," says the
manager, after the contract has been
signed, cant you give out few In
terviews on the subject of mother
hood?"
Mercy, no." replied Nine. Screechy.
Then deny your engagement to
somebody this week and confirm 1t
next week"
II cannot think c. such a thing"
But you'll allow us to quote you
as saying that you favor trial mar
riages."
Indeed / won't. I'm under con-
tract simply to sing and not to talk
at ALL"
Then signs the manager, II am
afraid your tour is doomed from the
start"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
A READER CURES HIS
CONSTIPATION-TR 1T FREE


use OF salts, waters. strong cathartics
and such things. Syrup Pepsin, by train
ing the stomach and bowel muscles to
again do their work naturally. and with
nerves, brings about a lasting cure.
Among its strongest supporters are Mr..
John Graveline OF SO Milwaukee Ave..
Detroit, Mich, Mr.. J. A. Vernon of Okla
hona City and thousands Of others. It
can be obtained of any druggist at fifty
cents and one dollar a bottle, or IL you
want to try 1t first free sample bottle
can be obtained by writing the doctor.
For the free sample address DR.. w. B.
Caldwell, 201 Caldwell building, Month
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

The editors of Heath Hints" and
"Questions and Answers" have one ques-
ton that is put to them more often than
they find the most difficult to answer.
That Is How can cure my constipa-
tion?"
DR.. Caldwell. an eminent specialist In
diseases OF the stomach, liver and bowels
has looked the whole field over. has prac-
tised the speciality for forty years and Is
convinced that the ingredients contained
In what is called DIR. Caldwellis syrup
Pepsin has the best claim to attention
from constipated people.
Its success in the cure OF stubborn con-
etipation has done much to displace the
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
WHY BONDS PILLS
ARE THE BEST.

They are honestly made Of best
agents, and are small, gentle but eff
fective Bonds Pills relieve the bad eff
fects of overeating or drinking. Head
aches, Biliousness. Constipation, Sour
Stomach, yield readily to one pill,
taken at bedtime. Try them once.
Their merit will convince you.
A free sample on request. Mention
this paper. BONDS PHARMACY CO.,
Little Rock, Ark.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
A Classic Note.

"Archimedes," read the pupil,
"leaped from his bath, shouting, 'Eure-
kai Eurekan"
Zone moment, James," the teacher
says. What is the meaning Of 'Eu-
rekar"
Eureka means I have found It,
VERY well. What had Archimedes
found?"
James hesitates a moment, then
ventures hopefully:
"The soap, mum. christian Intel
ligencer.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

matter is absorbed.
causing diseases and
symptoms. To attain
perfect health keep
your filters right. You
can use no better rem
edy than Doan's Kid
ney Pills.
Mrs. o. w. Erwin,
308 Third St, Little
Falls, Mimi, says: my
whole body became
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
Time SAVING.

A new version of the new long IA
miliar while you wait" sign Is found
in an uptown avenue where barber
shop and a tailoring shop stand side
by side. In front Of the building hangs
a sign on which are displayed the
name of the tailoring concern and the
name of the barber shop and this an
nouncement:
Suits cleaned and pressed while
you are getting shaved. New YorI
Sun.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
Ear From Bohemia.

Bjenks- How is that lean, unscis-
sored bohemian getting on these
days?
Tjarks-Why, they say he is desper-
ately in love with the girl down in
the laundry and is to be married soon.
Something suspicious about it, though.
Bjenks-I should say so. What is
true bohemian doing around a laun-
dry, anyway?
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
Interesting Figures.

'Withins ten years after that" the
lecturer is saying as we enter the
hall, "the seas will be completely filed
and the surface Of the earth will be
covered to a height Of forty-nine feet
60 that only the tops Of the tall trees
will be visible"
what is he talking about? we ask
the person next to US.
@He is predicting what will happen
after everybody begins living and
travelling In air ships and throwing
empty bottles, tin cans and old clothes
over the stern.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
DIsTEMPER

In all its forms among all ages of horses,
as well as dogs, cured and others in same
stable prevented from having the disease
with SPOHN'S DISTEMPER CURE.
Every bottle guaranteed. Over 100000
bottles sold last year $50 and ST co. Any
good druggist, or send to manufacturers.
Agents wanted. Spohn Medical Co., Spec.
Contagious Diseases. Goshen. Ind.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
A MonopeIy.

Urbanite- What did you come to
the city for?
Country Boy-To earn an honest
living.
Urbanite-That's all right. You'll
find no competition.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

Sincerity transforms all things. The
greatest fault, If it is avoided in
loyal kiss, becomes verify more
beautiful than innocence.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

You cannot step twice into the same
stream, for as you are stepping in,
other, and yet other, waters flow on.
-Heraclitus.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

# dose Of Hamlins Wizard Oil taken
at night will prevent your haAng bad
cold in the morning, isn't it good idea
to have it ready to take the moment you
feel the cold coming?
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

If you are acquainted with happi-
ness introduce him to your neighbor.
-E. Brooks.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

Mrs. Wins1ow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces inhamma
ton. allays pain. cures wind collie, 25c bottle
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
One Close Tin.

Your wandering life as an actor
must cut you off from all ties"
"Ah, madam, say not so. The rail
road ties are ever with u.s.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
Better Days.

He with a little sigh -This Is the
third winter hat you have had this
year.
Well, but dearest, summer
will soon be here now.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
HEALTHY KIDNEYS ESSENTIAL
TO PERFECT HEALTH.

Z When healthy, the kidneys remove
about 500 grains of impure matter daily
from the blood when unhealthy impure
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
Even Her Mother.

Her Mother-I feel, Mr.. Owens,
that I can trust my daughter to you.
Owens You can indeed. madam:
everybody trusts me.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

Let amusement fill in the chinks of
your life, not the great spaces there
of.-Parker.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
Between Women.

How exasperatingly clever she
is?'
Eyes, but how consolingly homely!"
Puck
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

He that is not sensible of another's
happiness is living stone.-Beau-
mont.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

1t is a good thing to know where
you are going, and what you are going
there for.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

Say, 'Ras, Eddie Jones SEE he's got
a real bloodhound and we want to
hire you to run ahead Of him for
about eight miles to see If he's any
good"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

Humor is a great solvent against
snobbishness and vulgarity Seaman
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

All the rules that glitter are not
golden rules.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25

Authority is a misfit when some
people are clothed with it.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
No Won Use Eye Salyes

DO You Use Eye SaIveY
Apply only from Aseptic Tubes TO
Prevent Infection. Murine Eye Salve In
Tubes-New Size 25c. Murine Eye LID
uid 26c-6Oc. Eye Books in each Pkg.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1911-05-25
JACK,s NEW DIsCOyERY

JACKS NEW DISCOVERY
is positively guaranteed to cure all skin troubles
Hczema, letter, Pimples, Chaps Skin Blotches
Bruises and many Others Doc in stamps for bottle by
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-21
TEAMS
PUT UP GREAT GAME
Columbia Five Of Elizabeth Defeat
OreOs Of Asbury Park by
Score Of so to a.

Professional basketball was usher
ed into this city last night and from
all appearances will be q success
here FOR 1t seemed to make q hit.
The fast Columbia Ave, Of Elizabeth.
which Is to appear here every friday
night, bested the Oreos, of Asbury
Park, In the style OF 50 to. "A. The
game was full OF spice and ginger
from beginning tas END. Snappy
but clean playing was the rule. The
Elizabeth team was by far in better
playing form than the Asbury Park
ties and therefore a Dne-sided score
resulted. The Oreos have a long
list of games booked for the next
few weeks and say they will be In
form to trounce the Cofumbias In
about two weeks.
Considering that 1t was the Oroes'
1frst game Of the season they did
very well. They proved themselves
a good collection Of material. losing
because they were not up In form to
the extent that tho Colurlbfas were.
The Elizabeth team plays on an av-
erage Of FIVE times a week and
therefore keeps In tip top form
throughout the season.
Better basketball than was play
cd by the Elizabeth team last night
could hardly be desired. Their team
work was almost perfect. Their
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-21
Columns Of 81. Marx.

Two memorable granite columns,
known as the columns OF st. Mark,
brought from the Holy Land In 112o
and standing In front of the quay and
landing steps of the Piaszeta, have
been associated with the fortunes OF
Venice for many years. At first they
lay PROSTATE for a long time, while
no one would undertake to raise them.
But a reward offered by the doge at
length induced one Nicolo Barratiero
fNfek the Blaekiegy TO offer his serv-
ices. lie succeeded and claimed as
his reward. the privilege of carrying
~ between the columns games OF
chance, elsewhere prohibited BY law.
TO neutralize this as much as possible
1t Was enacted that ali public execu
tions should take place on the same
spot. One column is suru1ounted by
the Lion Of st. Mark The other car
ries a fine figure Of ST Theodore. the
patron saint Of the city, who stands
upon a crocodile aud with sword and
buckler gives token that the motto of
Venice Is Defense. MOI Defiance.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-21
Wrestler May be
Able to Get
Contest.
LIS

Joseph Eschfmi. an Italian wrest-
ier, who has made good In mat per-
formances about New York, Is anx-
ious to meet John Larsen. OF tho
Danish Sociable Athletic Club. He
weighs 175 pounds and would meet
the local Danish grappIer in a match
OF any Htyle for any amount Of
money.
Eschimi called at the NEWS Of
fee yesterday and talked with the
sporting staff. He told OF past COM
tests with some OF the best wrestlers
In New York city, Brooklyn and vi
entity. He declared himself anx-
ious to meet Larsen In a match OF
any style. Money Was likewise q
matter that could BIT arranged by
Larsen. for he declared himself
willing to work for n price. He
said his weight was ITS pounds. at
which he has met several clever
men. Afew months ago he met in q
hard battle with Joe Frank In the
main match at Frank Gazzola's hall,
at 800 East 10th street, New
York. His address Is at 224 Thomp-
son street, New York.
1t Ia believed a good match would
result should Larsen meet Eschimi.
They are of almost equal weight
and those that have witnessed the
local man in action think him a good
match for the best Of his weight In
this section.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-21
ICE SKATERS
TO HAVE AN
INNING SOON

A healthy revival of interest In one
of the greatest OF winter sports, ice
skating, has been brought about by the
cessation of hostilities between the diff
ferent unions that govern the sport.
The action of tie International Skat-
ing union, which controls the sport In
Canada and In the United States, in
taking away the charter of the old
Eastern Amateur Skating association
has been heartily iHdorsed.
Assn resust OF The ranas*ad~ 1n&anssk
many clubs throughout the country
have become very active, and at this
date the men are rounding into fine
condition, they having been training
for some time at the various Kinks.
Thus when the big carnivais come off
every competitor will b on edge. and
there should be such racing as has
never been witnessed before.
The skater upon whom eyes wifi be
focused Is Edmund LAmy OF the Sara
nae Lake On. ~ Skating club. For
the last two years Lamy has been the
sensation in American skating circles.
Since Morris Wood turned profession
al Lamy has not been able to find a
competitor worthy Of his steel, and In
the races In which he generally com
petes he has been forced to allow lib
eraI handicaps.
Many of The best skaters In the world
will meet In the amateur champion
rhf.>. &A;- xrana 4 ~ nrsnux u xnitI InnE-
to Lamy to represent this country in
the contests, and the experts are con
fident that he will be able to hold his
own against tire stars from Canada
and Sweden, two OF the greatest shat-
ing countries.
LaIny is in great form at present.
He recently broke the worlds amateur
skating record for the go yard dash
Lamy negotiated the distan In II rs
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-01-21
SAM HILDRETH MAY RACE
HIS HORSES IN ENGLAND.
American Turfman Considering Offer
to Join Forces With Lord Csrncvan.

Sam Hildreth, the leading horseman
of the past two years, may race his sta
BILE of stars in England In the future.
The clever trainer is considering an
offer from Lord Carnovan to train and
race abroad. and IL negotiations eonaa
RIO 4 SATISFACTORY eszdsHg 4 Wzatsss1ta
that the American turf wiH lose some
of the greatest horses hat sysx per-
formed here. According to the infer
nation, Lord Carnovan desires Hil-
dreth 10 form a combination Of both
stables and Hildreth to have full sway
over the large string. If Hildreth &C
cepts the offer he will ship Fits Her
bert, Novelty aud his other winners
to England within a few weeks 1t
ss known th~t E,i--cth e ser.oGs.y
considering tho offer and will give a
definite answer shortly. Willie Bren-
nan will act as head lad for the com
bination II 1t goes through.
IT II also said that there Is 4 strong
proba hility that John n. Madden may
form a partnership with Louis Winans
on the English turf. Wtnans is q big
factor In British racing circles and
Will be remembered as the turfman
who purchased Sir Martin from Mad
den for the special purpose OF racing
In the Derby. Els sensational fall In
that classic win always be a feature
In turf history, for that tumble cost
American bettcrs q fortune. IL Hill
dreth and Madden sever their connec-
lions with the American turf 1t will
mean the loss of two of the strongest
supporters Of the game. They have
raced the two largest stables In the
past years and furnished winners ga
lore.