davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-05-08

Herman Kern, president "The
House of Herbst," whp was taken
seriously Ill while at French Lick
Springs. In February, is able 70 be
out again. tt
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-05-08
Late Telegraph News

WASINHGTON-Rev. d. F. Carroll.
assistant rector Of the Episcopal
Church OF the Ascension, will resign
from the pulpit to become an actor.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-05-08

TAxIcAB-MAIN on crrY-ia
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
ACCORDING TO SAMMY

round to see how pop was. and pop
was bettir then. I answered the doar
when he rang the bell. and he sed.
Hello, Sammy. hows yure farthir7
Hes awl rite now. sed, but he had
indulgents. He dident come hoam til
orful late last mite. sed. and wen he
calm hoam he had indulgents. Did
you evir have that, 1 sed to pops
boss.
ust to have 1t wen 1 was yunger,
he sed, and 1 thawt yure farthir was
to old to contrackt 1t.
Well, l 'sed, he aint going to con-
trackt 1t agen, bekaus I herd him say
so. Hes got a way of telling.
Good evening, sed pop to pops boss;
sorry 1 couldn't report this moarning,
but this thing took hold of me rite
aftIr suppir last mite.
Wy dident you come rite hoam wen
1t took hold of you, pop, I sed.
Go out and play, Sammy, sed pop
and ma both togethir.
So 1 went out and rote this on the
frunt STEP and the boss jest went and
pop Jest leaned out the window and
told me he wantid me very importint
so I'm going in now.
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
THE STAGE DOORKEEPER

This here 'Pinafore' revival looks
like it's goin' to amount to an epi-
demic.' said the stage doorkeeper. as
he deftly removed a hangnail with his
pocket knife. There's no religion in a
managers soul when It comes to this
revival thing. And they put it over
about once every so often.
The Dear Public
You read a lot of CUFF about the dear
public demanding the old favorite
shows. but did you ever stop to think
that the patent right on them shows
had run out, and nobody has to pay
any royalties? I wouldn't be surprised
If they even resurTected some of the
old scenery and costumes and Just fur
bished them up again. But it's sure
soft to have an old-timer like 'Pinafore
start in for a summer run. All of the
actors and actorettes knew the dope to
start with, and the music isn't unknown.
Just think what that means Instead
of having all the hot nights used up for
rehearsals, and then havin' to get down
at 10 in the morning and go all over
the business again, they lie abed and
The Washington times., 1911-07-02

wen 1 got up This moarning, ma sed
ent hoam yet and Ma was pritty mad,
smacking her book down on the tabii
awl the time and awl.
Wen got up this moarning, Ma sed,
Sammy. don't make eny noize, yure
fartnir don't feal well.
looked In pops rooms and his bed
was a'wl tyed in a towil and thare was
ice wattir and ice there and pop was
making a noize like he felt orful and
saying nevir agan to himself.
A Query
Watts he saying nevir agen for, ma,
I sed, how can he tell hes nevir going
to get sick agen.
He's got a way Of telling, sed ma
Fone down TO the orfise and tell the
boss I'm sick and cant come down to-
day, sed pop.
Awl rite, sed ma. and let this be q
lessin to you.
@, ma, / sed, IL that's a lessin
woodent want that kind of home
work. Wat kind of a lessin is IL? /
sed.
Its a 1essin in indulgents, sed ma.
Aftir suppir pops boss calm er-
The Washington times., 1911-07-02

had announced to the assembled male
population that Grizzly Gus was a fat
headed fizzle and not fit to eat with the
pigs, and now Gus was in town to
shoot Slim up.
They met on Main street. Both were
bold, bad, wild and woody men. But
Gus was the boldest, baddest, widest
and wooiest.
Hands up!" said Gus, drawing his
cold and gfittering.
why, Gus?" asked Slim, whose gun
had stuck.
do 1 understand that you made the
remark that wasn't fit to eat with the
pigs, Slim simpson,"
No such a thing, Gus. Somebody's
been lyin' to you. You are fit to eat
with the pigs! always thought SOL"
And so, arm in arm, Slim and Gus
repaired to the Red Dog.
The Washington times., 1911-07-02

come on in time for the first act letter
perfect
Why, I expect this 'Pinafore' re-
vival to spread to such an extent that
we'll soon be seem ads in the Mirror
from Al Shields wanting minstrel men
who can double as Dick Deadeye, and
Stetson's Uncle Toms Cabin company
will be wantin' little Eva who can do
the Buttercup stuff.
You know when one of the revivals
starts there's no stoppin' It. All sum-
mer long we'll be polishin' up the
knocker on the front door to a SIM
liar tune on the hurdy gurdy.
A Just Complaint
But II l was a small boy or girl say
about or years Of age, would Ger
tainly get up and kick against the re-
vival."
For why?" asked the stage-struck
youth.
You're too young to remember" I"
said the s. D. K, but they used 20
call all baby frocks pinafores, and the
name stuck. And now all the kids will
have to be warned again not to get
their 'pinafore' dirty. And no kid likes
to hear his duds called pinafores"
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
Reddy Smith on
"All BabY"

De feller dat jes passed, Jimmie, is uh
fine feller, dey say. Good hearted
was hometown, kind an all dat, but
him an his wife's separated,
1t amt cause he was crooel ur harsh
tn hur-naw! it's jes' uh case wv too
much baby.
Yu see, he's got uh baby. boy, not
morn uh year OIL, but it's uh bouncer
Well. after de kid seen daylight, his
wife goes plumb nutty. All she Guild
do wus tawk baby tawk an live an
be baby"
He'd ask hur to go out tn uh show
UT tn uh frien's, an she'd say, II can't,
Jim, on uh count NV de baby"
Den, she'd send him out an say.
"Yoo go, want tn stay home wild de
baby"
'Afore long, he goes off de we'll
beaten track, an den de neighbors
tawked an said, What uh shame!
Dat good woman stays at home an,
minds de baby, an hur husbanI runs
aroun' wild udder women an drinks"
Dey blames him, an dey praises hur,
an for long dey separates an de peo-
pie tawk on.
rs uh shame, Jimmie. uh shame, dat
sum women can't divide DER infection
more!
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
she HOLDS IT Up TO TKE
Girl Contortionist
Loretta's Looking Glass

jammed your head foroefully, you are
the very elimination of the crazy dis
regard for decency and decorum that
characterizes the present fashion.
Your wriggling gait Is mute but OBJ
Eious testimony to the narrowness Of
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
Awful

Mrs. Willis - Isn't 1t awful the way
people paw over goods in a store?
Mrs. Grillis-Shocking. / went over
to the waist counter this morning and
picked up every single garment and
there wasn't a one that didn't have the
marks where somebody. had been ham
ding them.
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TO-DAY

The growing popularity of aero
planes is having a startling effect on
the bicycle trade. Now is the time"
says a Dundee paper, ITO buy a BIZ
cycle. II you want a good second
hand one, advertise for 1t in the Cour-
ier. 1t will only cost you sixpence, and
Punch. r..- -'- ......
The Washington times., 1911-07-02

about as hard to sell as off1ce buildings
But 1 got rid of three dozen to Mrs.
Jinks.
Cracked eggs aren't any use to me-
she says, when 1 started to tell her
that II it wasn't for cracked eggs the
world would have perished long ago
Why, Mrs. Jinks," I sings, "T can
think of at least four uses for cracked
eggs at this moment"
Tell 'em to me-" she takes me up.
"and I'll buy three dozen"
Well, I was stumped, but the bsss.
was standing there and I had to make
good. Scramble 'em," I says, and the
boss counts "One" 'Put 'em in pud-
dings. "Two!" says the boss. Put 'em
in cakesH' 'Threer the boss sings.
'FAnd-and put 'em IN pies!' -Four"
says the boss, and we had her money
and she had the eggs before she knew
what II was all about!
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
Lively Sport

well, BILL" said Dawson. as he met
Holloway on the avenue, did you get
any good hunting UP in Manner
Fine" said Holloway
How did that new dog WilKlhs saVe
you work." asked Dawson.
Splendid" said Halloway. Fact Is,
IL it hadn't been for him we wouion
have had any hunting at all. He ran
away at the first shot and We spent
four days looking for him."
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
Picnic Sandwiches
For Pleasure Seekers
A SURE-ENOUGH KID

n SONL-L1INOOOAI INAD
Bob was telling about his trip to
the country. While there, he had ac-
quired some rustic idioms, and his
mother was correcting these as he
proceeded.
well. we goes up"
Went up"
Went up on the farm
ITO the farm"
ITO the farm and here We see"
I'VE saw" ....
I'VE saw a little kid"
Little child. Now begin again.
and tell II properly"
well, we went up to the farm,
and there we saw a goats little
child
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
Stop! I'll Explain!
Or, Grizzly GuStave

Everybody in Shy Ann knew that
Grizzly Gus was in town to shoot up
Slim Simpson. And everybody knew
why.
Leaning over the Red Dog bar Slim
The Washington times., 1911-07-02

is almost old all friends. We
he is insane Isn't there anything do?'
Anything they do Yes They let the wonderful Indian
mellow with the afectionae and
der understanding that they should the father and his boyhood
sweetheart Don't think so?
Why should they begudge him happiness though
late why they should feel humiliation the fact
that people, haired be their hearts,
should desire fulfill a of long
This Everyday World
Why should be of
father after all these could the midst this
day world the glasses memory the
gayaed the girl he loved the bygon when hoop
skirts in fashion.
We folk ntolerant the old We
forget that
practical full of rules regulations, that
memory and
But when they it hardly fair o
RESTRAIN the father mother who watched
and took of through all the extraordinarily
fair make their final unhappy because shrink the
tive smiles of those who do understand the the
revival of love of long wonderful
reality
This to
! could pretend give advice
what and what will think
of if think and
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
How Was He to Know
II MAS q Settin' Hen?

your skirt and the length of your cor
set. You look like a caricature of a
girl.
And you are not smart" You are
not the elegant aud modish result of
an expensive tailor and milliner. You
are just a silly girl who tries to initiate
the extreme Of fashion without the skill
and money that it takes to keep the
exaggerated from becoming the ridicu-
lous.
Humorous Hideousness
And this horror of contortion with
which you shuttle and slide and wrig-
gle along makes you a thing of hu-
morous hideousness. But you do not
stop with the extraordinary activity
of your body. You have another kind
Of contortion that is almost as obnox-
ious. It's really a wonder that you
have not twisted your shoulders out
Of joint in the constant patting Of
yourself on the back. For that is your
chief occupation. 1t is your most de-
votedly pursued form of exercise. And
its object Is not to develop good red
blood and strong muscle; 1t is meant
to increase that of which you already
have q superabundance-conc
Indefinably you defy description, yet
there Is not a sane man or girl who
will read this but will instantly rec
ognize that you are the one Of whom
1t speaks. You are the girl. who. writh-
ing till your hips appear to be inclined
to proceed upon tangents controlled by
laws peculiar to themselves, attracts
the glances from men which are GER
tainly not fiattering. YOU run down
the value OF the feminine. YOU make
the sex to which you belong toy and
a Laughing stock. YOU are funnier
than a jumping jack-and, have just
about as much intelligence and utility.
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
Fashion Note

This slim craze has its disadvan-
-tages."
"As to how?'
"The narrower a girl is the less dis
play space she has for diamonds"
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
Our Grocery Clerk
SAYS Scramble EN-

We had half a dozen cracked eggs
yesterday and the boss told me it was
up to me to get rid Of them. You may
not believe it, but cracked eggs are
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
ILLIAM DEAN HoWELLS, real

LILLIAN DEAN HOWELLS, real
w izing what an amazing effect
physical mannerism may
have, creates a character whom he
calls the Pivotal Girl. She gyrates
from the waist as II the upper half
of her were swung on a pivot. But IL
he had seen you he would have ceased
to find pivotal activity exciting, and
would have devoted his vocabulary
and imagination to making you a
creature of literature.
You twist and wriggle all over. In
the narrow dresses you look like a
serpent out on a holiday. A black satin
suit and a queer hat smashed down
over the part of you which contains
your brains-if you have theIn-make
you the most ridiculous creature that
the human zoo has ever displayed.
The Sliding Wabble
Rocking along with the sliding wab-
BILE that your clumsy-heeled pumps
make necessary you think you are
1.-The last cry in fashion. 1 translate
the French phrase for fear your afro
phied brain may never have absorbed
its meaning and from a profound con-
viction that nothing so trivial as a for
eign phrase could distract your atten-
ton from that worthless nonentity on
which ii is centered-yourself.
Why you think your mode of loco
motion stylish no one knows. Eut you
do, for your manner is so complacent
that it is Shiny, 1t slides all over
you that serene yself-approval-till it
seems to wriggle and writhe in the
very high lights on the satin of your
gown.
With your skirt too short, your
stockings too thin, your neck too
low. your hat too absurdly like a
small basket, into which you have
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
A Widow Preferred

Greene-why do you say that you
will marry only widow?
Keene-Because It's wisest to marry
a woman who has already discovered
that men are not angels.
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
In the ShoD

Won't that barasol fade?"
1T doesn't matter. Ny new hat is
big enough to keep the sun off It,"
The Washington times., 1911-07-02

TTERLY denouncing her father. whom she de
cares is going to bring the whole family into
ridicule, and who is not amenable to argument
certain young wife has written in asking if there
is any law or any reasonable way in which she and
her husband can restrain the old man from marry
ing woman almost as old as he-who was once
in the years gone by sweetheart of his, but with
whom he quarreled.
"It is humiliating," writes the woman, "after
all these years for him to marry. He is very
comfortable here with US, and has been inmate
of our house since my mother died, six years ago,
The Washington times., 1911-07-02
"Iohn" Hangs Back

Christian Lady-why don't you come
to our Sunday school. John?
John" wah Lee-Me fiaidee Clistian
hoodlums smashee head.
Newark post., 1911-10-18

two horse load over a bad road
and a one horse load over a good
road. We have had inferior roads
for long enough period. I sim
cerely hope the people of Della
ware will see the advantage when
the road becomes an actually.
Every twenty miles | have in
mind the establishment o: agri-
culture experimental stations for
the benefit of the farmer and de-
veloplnent of the state, in charge
OF graduates from the agricultu-
raj colleges in the country. They
will show the farmers of Della
ware, and those of any other state
how two blades of grass will grow
where they had grown one before.
IO course, there will be Other
representative ,adjuncts of farm
life, live stock of the best breeds,
for it is my belief that only healthy
and the best cattle should serve
the needs OF the human race.
AS to the road itself, my ideas
involve a combination which would
ultimately provide for both mo-
tor driven vehicles and horse
drawn carriages and wagons. A
4o-foot road should take care of
the motor vehicles, and also per-
NIT OF reasonable speed for or
dinary vehicle traffic. A 3o-foot
pathway will give ample space for
horse drawn vehicles. | believe
the value of this road when fin.
ished will be to show the people
OF the United States by a practi-
cal example, how any section car
build road that will pay for it's
maintenance, will ultimately pay
for itself, and pay those who con-
tributed the land handsome divi-
dend on the original ground or
investment. County or State
credit might be needed tempor-
arlly. but in a growing section for
only very short time"
Trees will line the roadways, ar
ranged in such manner as to afford
the greatest protection, for Gen
eral dupont considers that much
of the success of upkeeping Euro
pean roads is due to the care of
the trees along the roadside. This
road will also have stations for
the landing of airships, after the
latest known methods adopted by
the Belgians.
Newark post., 1911-10-18
NEWARK POST, NEWARK, DEL, OCIObEN 90 ~

dred whose farm is located near
the Eight Square Schoolhouse'
where he has been farming FOR II
wears, Laws claim to the greatest
bearing corn stalk in the State.
The four cars on the stalk ag-
gregate 3.1oS grains, in compari-
son with the recent counted pro-
duct Of a stalk on the farm OF
Charles Derickson OF near New
ark, which had 1900 grains.
Mr.. SPAIN has three acres OF
the corn that will average between
80 and S. bushels to the acre. Inc
corn bearing the 3,Io8 grains IS i
now on exhibition at S. l.. Fell q
Sons store, at the northeast cor
ner of Fourth and Shipley streets,
Wilmington.
Newark post., 1911-10-18
Planned For The Public Good

General T. Coleman DUPONT
adopted the road building idea
after considering many means of
beneftting the citizens Of Della
ware and in accord with this idea
Of helping the individual, the road
is being built.
General dupont when COM
menting upon this great work one
day recently said:
81 want to build road that will
be a lasting one, and | am grad
ually collecting all engineering
data obtainable in addition to en-
gaging roads engineers OF ex-
perience, who understand thor
oughly the conditions to be met
with in this day of multiplied and
varied traffic. OF course, this road
will show to the people of Della
ware the difference tbetween i
Newark post., 1911-10-18

Miss Mil:red Diehl, OF Philadel-
phia, spent the weeks end with
Mrs. George Gonce.
Miss Edna Getty spent Saturday
and Sunday visiting friends in
Philadelphia.
Mr.. Temple Jackson and Miss
Harriet Heaso,A bd1 h of Will
mington, spent Sunday in New
ark.
Miss Vera Beason of Whining
ton spent last week with Mr.. Alex
Perry.
Mrs. John Hartus is spending a
few days in Wilmington.
Mrs. Lewis Pierce, of Harmony
spent Sunday with her mother,
Mrs. Robert Collision.
Miss Elsie Spence, of Elkton,
was Newark visitor Sunday.
Miss Elsie Crow spent Saturday
and Sunday visiting friends at
Strickersville.
MIR. and Mrs. Leslie Moore
were Wilmington visitors last
week.
Mrs. David Gregson and sons,
Robert and David, were the
guests of Coatesville relatives on
Saturday and Sunday.
Mr.. Harold Gray, OF New Cas-
tie, was a Newark visitor this
week end.
Mr.. Harry Brown, of Stanton,
spent Saturday and Sunday with
his parents, near Newark.
Miss Anna Reed, of Philadel-
phia, spent the week end visiting
her parents, near Cooch's Bridge.
Mr.. and Mrs. McLane and
daughter have been spending few
dayt killing her parents near
North East.
Mr.. and Mrs. Hamilton Beats
and Miss Maleva Tyson and son,
Harmon, OF Wilmington, spent
Sunday with James Brown and
family.
Newark post., 1911-10-18
= STATE OF JOSEPH H
FRAZER. Deceased.


Notice is hereby given that
Letters OF Administration upon
the Estate of Joseph H. Frazer,
late OF White Clay Creek Hundred,
deceased, were duly granted unto
Eben B. Frazer and Security
Trust and Sac Deposit Company
on the eighth day of September,
A. d. 1911, and all persons indebt-
ed to the said deceased are re-
quested to make payment to the
Administrators without delay, and
all persons having demands against
the deceased are required to ex-
hibit and present the same duly
probated to the said Administra
tors on or before the eighth day
of September, A. D. 1912, or abide
by the law in this behalf.
Address Charles B. Evans. Esq,
Attorney-at-Law, or Security
Trust and Safe Del osit Co., Will
mington, Delaware.
EBEN B. FRAZER,
SECURITY TRUST & SAFE
DEPOSIT CO.,
Administrators.
Newark post., 1911-10-18

NO word of ours will relieve
the sadness in the death OF JOS
eph Frazer, nor can we add aught
that will give lustre to his men,
ory.
We shall never know the full
scope of his usefulness. The
friend who accomnanied his body
home has said what we thought
was true that his life and char
acter in that far off land was only
the natural result of the good ma
tured, kind, manly boy who left
us. His wonderful success was
Our proof before. Now we know.
We are glad to learn, yet it is not
surprising-that it was the same
Joe Frazer as a man as it was
zoe" here as boy.
His brilliant career seems at an
end. But is it? What a respon-
sibiity yet an inspiration is the
example of his life to his bro
theirs
They have a grave, strong task
to add horror to his name. What
an exampl~ to all of us .7oung
men!
To go out in the wilds of a for
eign country may have in It the
spirit of adventure, but to endure
the hardships and master the diff
hculties that now reflect to his
honor require strength of char
acter and mination thai be-
comes only strong, worthy men.
The news OF his commercial
success and engineering feat was
hailed with delight. His death
seemed out OF tune with right. But
when we learn of the work he has
done and the influence he has
exerted, we can but say--He has
lived his life and his influence shall
last through the years.
Newark post., 1911-10-18
PERSONAL

Mrs. Robert Reynolds, of Phil
,adelphia, spent the last of the
week with her sister, Mrs. George
Potts.
Mrs. Orlando Strahorn has re-
turned after a week end visit with
her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Wes-
ley Worrall.
Mrs. jane Murray has return
ed ater spending the week at
Hagerstown fair.
Mrs. Theodore Wolfe returned
to her Newark home last week af-
ter years absence, during which
time she visited her son, Theodore
Wolfe, in Japan.
Mrs. E. Greenwalt is visiting
relatives in Palmyra, N. ].
Mrs. w. c. Brooks, of Glas-
gov, visited relatives here Mon
day.
Mrs. Bayard Perry is visiting
her aunt, Mrs. George Brock, in
Oxford, Pa.
Mrs. Lee Warren of Lukens,
Florida, is visiting friends and
relatives in Newark.
Mr.. Roy O. Smith, vie and
four children, Mrs. Kate Davis,
Mrs. Smith, all of Smyrna, and
James Tibbitt and wife, of Will
mington, motored to Pine Lawn
Farm and spent last Thursday
with Mr.. and Mrs. X. M. Morri-
son.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ellsworth Moore
and Mr.. and Mrs. John Moore
spent Sunday in Middletown visit
ing relatives.
Silas Nesbit, OF New Castle,
Pa, spent several days last week
with Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph Haw-
thorn, near town.
Mrs. w. H. Smith and daugh-
te3in-law, Mrs. William Smith,
Jr., Of Philadelphia, have been the
guests of Miss Rachael Thornp-
son.
Mr.. and Mrs. Howard Fergu-
son have returned from an extend
ed stay in Burlington, VT.
Miss Lydia Fader is visiting
Mrs. j. M. Conner, Baltimore.
Mr.. Frank Weaver and friend,
Newark post., 1911-10-18
Peoples Column
Better Passenger Service Wanted

To the Editor:
often hear the question asked !:
Why does Elkton have so many
more passenger trains (stopping
there) than we have at Newark,
Delaware? Are we not entitled to
as good accommodations as Elk
ton? Our town is growing rapid
ly, more people are travelling to
and from Newark than ever be-
fore. Business is increasing all
the time. The railroads come in
fo, their share and should be will
ing to give their support and CO.
operation in keeping Newark to
the front, thereby granting her
people the same advantages as it
gives elsewhere.
Elkton has SIX more passen-
ger trains than Newark.
Why?
l am told by competent author
ity that owing to the stiff grades
and curves at Elkton, it is one O.;
the hardest stops on the Maryland
DtA sion-whie Newark is just
the opposite.
Again, we are told that poll
tical drag" helps Elkton. This
does not seem in keeping with
the way railroads are run nova
days.
| am inclined to think that the
residents OF Newark are more to
blame for being sidetracked than
anyone else. They are just cit
tie bit easy"
After we get what is coming to
us on the schedule, | have another
subject on public conveniences tc
which | wish to call the attention
of our citizens. Citizen.