davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
FoOT-ROPEs WERE NOT SAFE
5oatswain's Mate Satisfies Skipper by
Long Fall That He Was En-
tireiy In Wrong.

The skipper was man who had a
good opinion of himself and hit no
lions. He had pulled through ship
wreck, mutiny and other perils of the
deep, but he came cropper once. For
one of his voyages he had shipped a
boatswain's mate who bore something
of reputation.
One day the skipper ordered him
aloft to examine a sail on the royal
yard.
'Tain't safe, cap'n!" protested the
boatswain's mate; the foot-ropes has
got to be fixed first"
DO as tell you'll" thumb ed the
captain. THE foot-ropes are all
right. l know they are"
The man went up.
! Five minutes later he came tumbl
ing down through the rigging from the
top of the mast. distance of over
100 feet.
With bang he handed on the belly
OF the mainsail and bounded into one
of the canvas-covered boats
The sailors. thinking him dead
crowded about him in circle
To their amazement he sat up.
His eyes wandered vacantly abou
until they rested on the leathery fac,
of the skipper, when they lighted VI
with intelligence
"Cap'n," he said, slowly; you wa
mistaken about them foot-ropes."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
A Philadelphia Paraphrase.

OF the many experiences which
Magistrate Richard w Barrett has
had here's one dealing with the mod
est witness in hearing She was a
woman of evident refinement and
much Todesty. She testified against
man who had visited her home to
complain against the dismissal OF the
cook. his sweetheart.
You say the prisoner was profane?'
said Magistrate Barrett. embarrassed
but wishing to get the facts. Would
you mind telling me. if you can. just
what he said.''
"Oh, Judge" said tie woman blush
ing, II rather not; but. If you car
understand me. he gave the home ad
dress of ephistopheies."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
A u,,n.Inc story

An old backwoodsman that Abrar
ham Lincoln Often told of had very
heavy, over-hanging eyebrows, and
wore big spectacles with brass rims.
One day he eame rushing into his
cabin and Selling his rifle. aimed 1t
carefully through crack Of the door
at a great oak tree that stood near,
and ired.
What is it?" whispered his wife.
"a wildcat, Sairy." he said. ex.
citedly, "an' / missed him!"
He hastily loaded and fired again
and then again.
Now, hold on. joshua" said his
good wife. Let me look at you
Why. laws-a-daisy, it's nothin' but {
little bug OH one O. your eyebrows!"-
Housekeeper.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
volces Of the Ninht.

Hey, you! Wake up! What sta
ton do you want to get off att"
you might just as well have kept
your shoes on, John. can hear you
coming up the stairway"
OF you don't like my smokin', mis-
ter, yo-. en- go out an stand on the
platform. This Is the owl car"
60 Sleepy, now baby; go-Great
Peter! How much longer have got
to walk the floor with him!"
Where's the fire, Henry? Get UP
and see If It's on our street,"
(Bang!) "Ye-ow! Wow! Vow
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
JUST MAKING OUT A CASE
Uncle Jeth Had Deep Reason for oc-
cupation That Was Seemingly
Improbable.

John Collier, the secretary of New
York's board of moving picture GEN.
sors, said the other day:
ITS no good getting up objec-
tionable picture plays. We never
pass them, in fact, we turn them down
SO invariably that it seems to me the
composers of such plays are animated
by spirit of perversity. They re-
mind me of old Uncle Jethro Husk
Uncle Jethro sat fishing on the
bank of tiny rivulet when stran-
ger stopped beside him and said:
Is 1t possible that there are any
fish in such small stream as that?"
: NO, there ain't none, Uncle Jetb
grunted.
but you're fishing!'
Yep said Uncle Jeth.
What, then, is your object?'
my object said Uncle Jeth, is to
show my wife amt got no time to
sift the ashes.'"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
A Future savant.

What function does the iron in the
blood perform?" asked the teacher
Converted into steel by the mys-
FERROUS agencies that operate in the
human body" glibly answered the
young man who had not studied the
lesson, land wrought into hair springs
of the finest temper, it serves, | fancy,
to regulate the reciprocal action of
that wonderful balance wheel of the
human machine, ths heart"
Rather clever, Lucius," said the
teacher, but it will not get you any
credit marks"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
Wanted to Be More Earnest.

Rev. Sylvester Horne. the Liberal
NJ. p. from London, was talking about
religion at dinner In New York
TOO many of us in our religious OBJ
servances." he said, ARE like a little
Tottenham Court Road girl.
This little girl said one night to her
new nurse.
"'Oh, must sleep In the dark?'
"'Yes. MISS the nurse answered.
Then wait minute said the lit
tie girl. I'll get up and say my pray
ers more carefully"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25

stomach and there was no cure. ! al
most thought the same, for my breath
was offensive and l could not eat any,
thing without great misery, and ! grad
ually grew, worse.
FINALLY l concluded to try Peruna,
and l found relief and a cure for that
dreadful disease, catarrh. l took FIVE
bottles of Peruna and two of Manalin.
and l now feel like new man. There
is nothing better than Peruna, and |
keep bottle of it in my house all the
time"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25

They had been married but two
months and they loved each other de-
votedly. He was in the back yard
yard backing his shoes. Jack" she
called at the top other voice-"Jack,
come here, Quick!"
He knew at once that she was in
imminent danger. He grasped stick
and rushed up two flights of stairs to
the rescue He entered the room
breathlessly, and found her looking
out of the window.
Look" she said. that's the kind Of
bonnet want you to get me. "-Har
per's Magazine.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
grunted
Business Instinct strona.

A photographer tells as a Joke on
himself that woman, accompanied
by a little boy, came into his studio
the other day. II want my pickcher
took" she said II see that you take
pickchers for four dollars dozen this
week, so | come fer mine. And |
want this little boy took in the same
pickcher with me-" Eyes, madam
but, of course, we made an extra
charge outside this special rate when
two pictures are taken at once" "Oh,"
says the lady, "but I'll keep the boy
In my lap. That's the way do In the
street cars, and no body ever says
anything"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
CATARRH !.
OF The
STOMACH
Could Hardly Eat. Gradually
Grew Worse. Relieved by
peruna.

Mr.. A. M.
Ikerd, Box 81,
w e s t B u +.
lington, Iowa,
writes:
81 had ca
tarrh of the
stomach and
8 m all intes-
tin e 8 for a
n u m b e r of
years. I went
to a number
of doctors and
got no relief,
and fin al | y
one of my
doctors sent
ue 10 y II l.
C a G o, and l
met the same
fate. T h e ,
8 a i d t h e y
could do moth
: ing for me;
s al d / had
oancor IF fhe
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
Her Specially.

"I thought you said George had mar
ried a good manager"
He did"
Il called on her yesterday and the
house was in terrible disorder. 1t
looked as If everything had been left
to take care Of itself"
But you should see her managing
George"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
To Contrihs.

G.. Perfectly lovely, but would
require too much space.
Q. S. Alt was in type, but had to
be killed, as the reply to it, owing to
an inadvertence in making up. was
printed Tuesday morning as para
graph.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
what MOST concerned Him.

Rankin-Theyve found out lately,
as | suppose you know, that candy is
a cure for the drink habit
Fyle Gather Of six girls)-So I've
heard. | wonder If there Is any cure
for the candy habit.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
IncurahIe.

you say you are your wife's third
husband?" said one man to another
during a talk.
mo. am her fourth husband" was
the reply.
Heavens. mani" said the first
speaker. "You' are not husband
you're q habit"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
Can See Everything but That.

Fired a policeman. have they ?
| What for?"
They found he had defective Wis
ion."
Color blind?'
mo; gambling joint blind"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
How Could Hsf

Johnny, did you have good time
at the party?"
How could ] have good time?
had promised mother to behave my
self"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
WASTING the Tea,

why don't you ask that young man
up to tea some evening, dear?'
Il don't believe it would do any
good, mother. he's a confirmed bach.
elor"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25

For over fifty years Rheumatism, Neu-
ralgia, and other painful ailments have
been cured by Hamlins Wizard Oil. 1t is
good honest remedy and you will not
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25

Mrs. Bronson-Well. where did that
bit of gossip come from? From the
sewing circle?
Mrs. Woodson-No, indeed; it came
from my husbands whist club on the
4:35.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
The plain Facts.

Did you see the prisoner strike this
! man in the melee?"
mo, seen him swat him on the
nose"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25

When one is sad or out of sorts for
any cause whatever, there is no rem
edy so infallible as trying to make
somebody else happy. W. Carney.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25

Mrs. Winsiow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces inhamma-
ton, alleys pain. cures wind collie, csc bottle.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25

To strive at all involves a victory
achieved over sloth, inertness and in
difference
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25

The bright side Is sure to be the
right side-Mary d. Brine.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25

Wisdom, like flowers, require cul-
ture.-Ballon.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
lenses.

Teacher-Tommie, what is the fu-
ture of Il give?"
Tommie-"You take."-Life.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
CHRISTMAS POST CARDS FRET

Send 20 stamp Cor Ave samples OF my very choice
est Gold Embossed Christmas and New Year
Post Cards; beautiful coors and loyeliest designs
Art Post Gard Club. 7sl Jackson st. Topeka, Kansas
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25

The moment a man begins to love
his enemies he has the devils hate.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
She Capltulated.

Would you like tc fly with me?"
asked the aviator. addressing Miss
Fadedout
"oh, sir" she cried, grasping him
around the neck. this is awfully sud-
den. but II you insist"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
An Exception.

eYou know 1t is matter OF pride
with me to let nobody pass me"
"Glad to hear It I'm theatrical
manager"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1911-11-25
Just as Good.

as your wife in?" asked the friend
of the druggist.
mo" replied the druggist, absent
mindedly, "but can show you some
thing Just as good. Puck.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30
145 LOSE LIVES IN
 A BIG FACTORY FIRE
Scores Crushed by Eight Story
 Fall to Pavement

One hundred and forty-five persons. most of them women and young girls. were killed in fire which gutted the ten story building at the northwest corner of Washington place and Greene street, just block east of the south east corner of Washington square. The dead were all employees of the Triangle Waist company, the proprie- tors of which are Isaac Harris and Max Blanck.
 When the reporters first reached the fire there were two dozen dead bodies on the Greene street sidewalk. 4 few minutes later there were more than fifty. The women and girl machine operators had Jumped from the eighth, ninth and tenth or top floor. They jumped in groups of twos and threes into life nets, and their bodies spun downward from the high windows of the building so close together that the
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30
ASHLEY FALLS

The Village school closed Friday for the spring recess and will reopen April 3d. Miss Dendall will enjoy the the vacation at her home in East Long Meadow. 1.<
 Mrs. F. c. Capron of Danbury Conn.,, who was the over Sunday guest of Mrs, Milton Roraback, returned to her home Tuesday morning.
 Mrs. Wm. A. Beattie is spending the week with friends in Springfield.
 Miss Katherine German is spending the spring vacation at the home of her parents, MT. and Mrs. William German.
 Mir. w. D. Chamberlin returned from New York Saturday spending Sunday with MT. Beattie, leaving Tuesday after noon eEroute for his home in Dayton, Ohio. t...,..
 MT. W. King of Mill River is moving in the William Dunham house recently occupied by Harry Scoville.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30
LIME ROCK.

Miss Rose Malcuit spent part of last week with friends in Winsted.
 Miss Carrie Richardson went to Bridge port Friday morning.
 Miss Evelyn Fenn, Miss Griffith and Miss Alice Stone were in Canaan Tuesday.
 Michael Hickey is in Canaan drawing wood for his uncle, Peter Coggin.
 Mrs. George Carley and her sister were in Falls Village Tuesday.
 Rev. H. B. Chown is in New York this week attending conference conse- quently there will be no service in the M. E. Church next Sunday. It is regretted by all that MT. Ohown will not return for another year.
 George Belcher Jr. was a guest of East Canaan friends quite recently and attended dance and a birthday party while there.
 R. N. Barnum and family are expected home from New York Wednesday night.
 Mrs. Richard Dunn is visiting in Winsted this week.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30
DE LA BARRE OFF FOR MEXICO
New Minister of Foreign Affairs TeIIs
 ... of Contemplate Reforms.

New Minister of Foreign Affairs TeIIs ... of Contemplated Reforms.
 Senor Francisco Leon de la Barra, the Mexican ambassador, has left for the City of Mexico to become minister of foreign affairs in the new Mexican cabinet.
 'The task of the new cabinet in re- storing interest in the reforms desired by the people of Mexico will be difi- cult" said Senor de Ia Barra, 'but I am confident that it will be accom- plished satisfactorily. When the re- forms which are contemplated by President Diaz are put into operation have no doubt that the patriotism of the people of Mexico will cause them to support the new administra- ton. It will be my aim to act for the best interests of all our people. The other members of the new cabinet are representative men who, think, will be acceptable to all factions"
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30
DIAz TO RESIGN FROM
 OFFICE IS REPORT
MaderO's Father Predicts Peact
 In Thirty Days.

The report that President Diaz vii resign is regarded as not wholly with out foundation, though the date O such action is contingent upon the re establishment of peace. Semioficiall. 1t was stated that Diaz has no inten tion of going abroad, as has been re ported, while the present state of In surrection continues, but with peac established, the same authority said it was not improbable that he would seek retirement.
 The members of the new cabinet with the exception of Francisco LeoI de la Barra, who has not yet arrived at the capital, have taken the oath O office.
 Francisco I. Madero, Sr., father O. / the insurrecto leader, upon his ar rival in San Antonio, declared tha peace in Mexico Is assured within thirty days, and probably within ter days. He believed that he, his soI Alfonso and his son Gustave would be the revolutionary representatives.
 Senor Madero added that Diaz vii save his face by remaining in office fol four or six months and then resign pleading weariness and his age II will then fall to De La Barra to be come de facto president and to call ar election. The administration party, il is said-and believed by Senor Madert will choose Limantour, the minister of finance, as its candidate for the highest office in the land. ..-.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30

~NSSS~@~~NA~NN'
 SCENES AT FACTORY FIRE. few life nets stretched below soon were broken and the firemen and pass CTS by who helped hold the nets were crushed to the pavement by the rain of falling bodies. ,.
 The bodies lay there with the water which the firemen soon were pouring into the building soaking them. There was no time to clear the dead in the street away. Inside the building the firemen believed still were dozens upon dozens of girls and men, and the firemen wasted no time upon those whom at a glance they kpew to be dead.
 It was more than an hour and half before the firemen could enter the floor where the fire started, the eighth, and they came back then with the word that a quick glance showed, according to Chief Croker, about fifty dead bod les on that floor alone.
 In the elevator shaft also was pile of bodies, estimated conservatively at twenty-five, girls who had jumped down the elevator shaft after the ele- yator had made its last trip.
 There is just one fire escape in the building. That one Is an interior fire escape. In Greene street, where the terrified unfortunates crowded before they began to make their mad leaps to death, the whole big front of the building is guiltless of one, nor is there a fire escape in the back.
 The building was fireproof, and the owners had put their trust in that.
 The Triangle Waist company was the only sufferer by the disaster. There are other concerns in the build ing, but it was Saturday, and the other companies had let their people go home. Messrs. Harris & Blanck, however, were busy, and their girls and some men-stayed.
 They were just about through for the day. If the fire had broken out five minutes later probably not life would have been lost.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30
FALLS VILLAGE

Rev. MT Chown started Monday for New York to attend the annual Methodist conference of the Pough- keepsie district. It is thought probable that he will accept the call recently ex- tended to him from Brewster, N. Y., and that the conference will assign him to that charge.
 Edward Ward, one of our best known citizens, was stricken with a sudden illness, at his home Sunday evening, and has been in serious condition since. At last accounts he was reported slightly improved.
 Dr. D. M. Wilcox. of Lee. formerly of Falls Village. was 8 visitor in town this week. ...4 >.
 Church Ward and Averill Hubbell, of Tilton Seminary, New Hampshire are enjoying their vacation, the former at his home here. and the latter at Cambridge, Mass. s .....
 Harry Frink is at home on his vacation, from the Connecticut Literary Institute at Suftield. s@...'. The Falls Village schools close, next Friday for the Easter vacation of two two weeks
 The auction sale of the J. M. Benjamin personal estate, to be held Saturday, is expected to bring out large crowd of buyers. The goods to be sold consist of farming utensils, hay and straw, horses, cows, pigs, wagons etc. g r.
 Bartle Brothers are taking their annual inventory of stock. -
 George Frink is keeping up with those egg and chicken sharks. by recording 8 hatch of 76 barred Plymouth Rock chicks from 90 eggs ..-, t-# A.
 Ed. Sanford the horse dealer, will leave Falls Village and open 8 livery stable at Chatham. ..., .....
 Frank Bushey will sever.his connection with Merchant Marcey on April.1. !
 Ohertock, the clothier. will leave town next week, to start his new business in Wingdale. NY.
 Real Estate Dealer Baird has just transferred the Ooain property at Cornwall to its new owner, Joseph Honek. of New York. =. i
 Messrs. H. R. Brinton and J. H. Vernam who drove MT Coachman's two fast race boats, the Dewey and the ''T & s, practically made clean sweep of the Palm Beach prizes at the Regatta there March, IA, 15, 16, IT, win ming eight of the thirteen beautiful cups and the Grand Prize of three thousand dollars in gold. The four days racing on rough water brought 8 severe strain on the twenty two race boats and their crews and only the Dewey" and the ''T 6 S'' were in at the end of the Grand Prize race. Immediately after the races MT. Brinton joined MT. Coachman on his yatoh Simple Life" for hunting and fishing trip around the Florida coast and in the Everglades. The real big game of the trip was an eleven foot alligator.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30
BLACK HAND VENGEANCE.

OHICaYU UIICS Lay NEIOIHsF DEaIH 70
 Door of Secret Society.
 Dominick Coci, an Italian laborer, was found dead in manufacturing plant in South Chicago, and the police believe he was the victim of the Black Hand, which in fourteen months has been charged with thirty-six murders in Chicago.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30
DUVEENS FINED $2O,OO0.
New York Importers Defrauded Gov ernment Out of Duty.

New York Importers Defrauded Gov ernment Out of Duty.
 Louis Duveen and his brother, Joseph S. Duveen, both members of the firm of Duveen Bros, art import CTS, of New York, both surrendered be- fore Judge, Martin in the criminal branch of the United States circuit court and pleaded guilty to indictments charging them with defrauding the government out of duties on importa- tions.
 Upon the plea of guilty, United States District Attorney Wise asked that the maximum fine be imposed on the two men, and Judge Martin fined them $1O,OO0 each. This is the maximum fine. Both men paid.
 Benjamin S. Duveen and Henry J Duveen, also members of the firm and jointly indicted, are at present out on bail.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30

Agent for the Mutual Life Insurance O., Massachusetts Acci- dent and Health O., and Ten of the best Fire Insurance companies.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30
TAFT CALLS FOR RECRUITS.
About 1000 Men Wanted to Make
 Mobilization Complete. ..".

About 1000 Men Wanted to Make
 Mobilization Complete. ."
 Calls for 5000 or 1000 recruits to bring the infantry regiments of the army mobilized in Texas and Cali fornia to full strength have been sent by the war department to all the army recruiting stations.
 It is explained that the infantry has been the greatest sufferer from the lack of recruits in recent months Other branches of the army have been adequately supplied. Two thousand recruits already have been sent to the "maneuver division" at San Antonio
 Aside from the vacancies existing in the infantry ranks, great number of enlistments are expiring at this time, which makes the task of bring ing the regiments up to full strength more difficult.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30
STATE TO PROBE FIRE.

Bill Introduced at Albany to Fix Blame
 For Catastrophe.
 Assemblyman Cuvillier has intro duced bill at Albany providing fol the appointment within five days after the act takes effect of a commission to investigate the cause and fix the blame of the fire in Washington place New York.
 The commission is to consist of nine members. and $15,OO0 is to be appro. priated for its expenses. It must make final report to the legislature, includ ing such recommendations as il deems proper, not later than April 15 It is to have the usual powers of 8 legislative committee. The members arc to be assemblymen and senators.
Connecticut western news., 1911-03-30

Several intellectual efforts were made to fire the hotel of I. N. Bartram at Sharon, but was discovered in time to save the building.
 The first train load of brown hematite ore was shipped from the Tobey Hill ore mine, owned by George W. Peck. Esq, to Landon & Co.'s furnace at Chapin- vile.