The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-06-06
HAeANs.

Miss Auda Eddy and Mrs. c. L.
Shuman are on the sick list.
j. r. Kennedy was recently visiting
his brother, James, at Cassvllle, who
is seriously i'll.
Mrs. Cora Rohr is spending few
weeks at her home on McFarland's
Run.
The farmers are very busy these
days re-planting corn in order to furn-
ish the cut-worms fair and honest
living
The recent brief and blatant session
OF the Legislature almost conclusive
ly demonstrated the correctness Of
Darwln's celebrated hypothesis. Taken
as whole 1t was the plainest exhi-
bition Of arrogance, laziness and stu
pldity that has been witnessed for
years.
,Bryan's recent attempt to coerce
the Democrats in Congress failed and
Bryan Will now vent volumes Of yul.
pine yapor. He appears to consider
.hlmgelf high boss of the universe and
general superintendent Of the Milky
Way, b .aFn sR ";
4. Diaz was once president OF Mexico
and we were once trustee Of the Pleas
ant Valley school. Now, both Of us
are down and out. There is not a
Joy the world can give, like that 1t
takes away.
A. Pennsylvania lady has brought
suit against her next door neighbor be-
cause the Iatter's pet monkey climb
ed through window ana bit her on
the ankle. Monkeys are great on imi-
tatlon, b, 5iisEf
Kansas has taken to a liquor made
Of water, prune juice, ginger and fish
berries, The effects OF this mixture
upon the human system is said to be
astonishingly successful, causing a
mild-eyed farmer to resemble a Ben
gal tiger two days late for dinner.
A profound thinker wants to know
II we ever heard OF anybody offering a
job to the fellow who has his picture
taken with his hat on the back Of his
head and a cigarette in his fingers?
A man who talks much, says little
aud does nothing is the latest defnl-
ton Of a boomer.
II you have an infinite capacity for
believing the incredible you Will be
happy though perhaps not wise.
An attempt is being made to force
Governor Colqultt, OF Texas, to sever
his connection with the church BIO.
cause he has lined up with the anti.
prohibltlonlsts. Such requests will
not be frequently made in West Vir.
ginia,
A new reason has been advanced
for the rejection Of few Leap Year
proposals three years ago: the ques-
tlon was popped when the sign was
not in the heart. Oh! young ladies,
beware, search ye the almanacs for
we say unto you there is time for
everything, even for the acquisition
Of husbands,
Many of our young people continue
to amuse themselves pitching horse
shoes regardless of the fact that this
game is condemned by a few, who
display more superstition than sense.
The time. appears to be coming in
West Virginia that whenever man
comes out with a brand new suit OF
clothes his friends begin to speculate
as to what particular graft he was
able'to get in on.
A Texan, 20 years DID, made the
of a widow at o'clock
in the morning and married her at
noon. A western editor thinks the
wanton waste of those three hours
may come back to haunt him when
he Is old.
A New York minister attracted an
overflow congregation by announcing
that he would preach about family
scandal. There was church full Of
when the preacher
talked about the temptation OF Eve
by the serpent.
1t is claimed by an expert that con-
science is that still small voice that
tells a CRATER he has done wrong aft
Or he has been found out.
s.. G. MUSGRAVE.
T. II