The Washington herald., 1911-03-19
VALUE OF GOOD MANNERS
By THE SOCIAL ARBITER.

flower of which is courtesy, and its fruit
heroism of character. It is certain that
person who respects himself. respects
others and this respect is evidenced by
gentleneSs and consideration, by tine
manners, in truth, for gentleness and
consideration are the mother and father
Of fine manners.
What are these manners?' some one
asks, that American men are charged
with lacking?' The best definition of
manners ever came across Is that given
by Emerson: The visible carriage or
action of the Individual, as resulting from
his organization and his will combined,
We call manners" He says, too, Man
ners are the happy ways Of doing things;
each, once stroke of genius or of love,
now repeated and hardened into usage.
They form at last a rich varnish with
which the routine Of life is washed, and
it's details adorned" Swift says that
good manners is the art of making those
people easy with whom we converse, but
manners are more than this. They cover
all of our intercourse. Many philoso-
piers and many sages from the dawn of
history until the present moment, have
said in effect Give a boy address and
you give MIN tue
mastery Of places and fortunes where
he goes. Manners, in a word, make the
fortune of the ambitious young person.
man or woman, and are the open sesame
of society"
Some writer, I cannot at this moment
for the life of me remember who, de-
fined manners as a contrivance of wise
men to keep fools at a distance. This,
as cynical as it sounds, is true. Per
feet manners protect one better than
any stone wall could from unwelcome
intruders. Those repelled do not recog-
nize the means by which this has been
accomplished. Manners. indeed. are
never remarked unless they are very
bad or very ostentatious. II they are
iabOrn, inbred they are worn as lightly
as one carries his own weight. A bor-
rowed garment or one that is seldom
worn rarely sets easily nor do manners
that arc borrowed or kept slowed away
for some formal occasion. DO you
think it necessary that your children
should rise when you enter the ROOM
a mother was asked the other day. ITO
whom should they accord greater honor
thar their mother" was the Yankee
reply.
But more than that. if young people
are allowed to have bad manners in
the homo circle they will show them
outside The clever mother is the mother
who insists upon the same attitude from
her children in the home circle that she
wishes them to have in the world. There
is no such thing as company man
ners." II one plays a different part in
society than elsewhere. it is a part only
but never manners. One may be civil
in society and rude at home, and re-
main undiscovered as faker for a
long time, but he will be discovered
eventually, discovered and cast out. by
all those who love truth, as a masquer-
adler. Such peope never succeed So
Cially. They are taken up for a time.
hut as soon as people come to know them
as they really are they are rejected,
much to their astonishment. They went
through the forms, they did as other
people do when they were on parade,
50 they wonder why they were not ac-
ceptabIe and rail at society. Now So
Cicty is clever old dame. She de-
tects the spurious. recognizes the real
instantly and though the spurious may
amuse her for the moment, she re-
jeCtS it in the end.