davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12
The Cub Reporters First Job

all: that there'd be no more job for me-
there If 1 did go back under such I'M
Imaginable circumstances.
All of this was popping through my
head as i rang and rang that doorbel,
without getting SO much as symptom
of response. Perceiving that my ringing
was liable to keep me on that stoop all
night. took to pounding on the door.
This brought results. A second-story
window was pushed up after a brief
space, and the raucous voice of man
called down to me:
who is that making all OF this
off. whoever il is, or L shall call the
police"
L told him who / was. what paper
represented, and what 1 wanted. He
told me that he couldn't help what
paper L represented. half-past one
o'clock in the morning wasn't any time
to visit a house OF the dead for such
Information, and he told me to come
around during the forenoon and he
would see me.
You'll have to come around tomor-
row. mean after daylight today" he
said. Il can't come down there now
and see you. I'm in bed. Everybody
in the house is abed" And he pulled
down the window. leaving me standing
there on the stoop In state OF dejec-
ton such as l had never experienced
before, and never have experienced
since.
of an all-night beanery in which I
knew there was q telephone. 1t was
perfectly hopeless for me to attempt to
get the man with whom I had spoken
out OF bed again. So down to the beam
cry / went. and 1 called up the impress
sive house on the telephone
1T seemed an age before my call was
answered. but when it was answered I
instantly recognized the voice of the
son of the dead man; he was still in
his petulant humor, naturally enough.
L told him again the name of the
paper / represented, and what / want
ed. A few little clickings told me that
he was hanging up the receiver on me-
and this put me into such a state OF
anguish that there was nothing for il
except for me to put into play the little
idea that the imp had suggested to me
walt" I called to him. Don't hang
up, I want to tell you something that
it is highly important for you to know
Well, what is it?' he answered back,
this time with the anger of his tones
slightly mingled with curiosity.
TT is this" I replied. with wanton
abandonment-a desperate like aban-
donment, such as only an exceedingly
overweight cub reporter possibly
could exhibit hate to submit such
a query TO you. but IL the rumor that
your father committed suicide is true,
why"
stopped there. 1t almost seemed tn
me as if l could hear the beating OF tho
pulse of the man at the other end OF
the wire.
For hea"en's sake. young man. come
over here right away he said to me,
almost gasping the words, over the
phone.
| went back to the house. He pulled
me i'm al soon as ! appeared, for he was
waiting for me. He handed me a hand
full of carefully written material bear
ing on the details of his fathers death,
with a fine sketch. all in fine shape.
got the matter in for the first edition.
But often I have wondered just what
I should do now If 1 found myself in q
similar predicament. c. l. c.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

chair. felt as if / were stepping slightly
aside from the strict path of rectitude.
But the manicure girl is now in every
barber shop Of any class whatever in
New York: some of the larger shops.
those in the big hotels, keep as high as
a dozen Of them constantly employed.
The New Yorker, generally speaking, is
a we'll nlanicured person. if he is not. in
deed. a BIT overmanicured. The other day,
entering one of the big hotel barber
shops, where there are fourteen chairs in
operation, saw ten manicure girls work
ing on the hands of ten occupants of bar
Der chairs who were getting their shaves
and haircuts at the same time their paws
were being fixed up. In the -manicuring
anteroom all of the remainder of the staff
of manicure girls were busy with male
patrons seated at tables. The New York
manicure girls are a remarkably pretty
class. and they earn good money at their
occupation. Their bulge, OF course, is in
tips. The charge for an ordinary mani
curing is half a dollar but the lordly
male who has his hands attended to by
a girl doesn't feel equal to departing from
the operation without bestowing a tip,
and usually the girl keeps the dollar bill
which is put in front of her. 1t Is nothing
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

under consideration to do away with all
of their male walters, except those work.
ing in the cafes, and replace them with
girl walters. 1t is stated positively that
these two hotels will do this within the
present year. The reasons, of course, are
many, but mainly the graspingness Of
the male walters is at the bottom of the
thing. There is no such thing as giving
a hotel waiter silver money in this town
any more; if you do that you are pretty
liable to be treated TO a sneer, even if
you have purchased food that doesn't
amount to the value of the smallest piece
of paper money, and nothing in life, as
everybody knows. is quite so objection
able as the sneer of a waiter in these
.abhorrent circumstances. The patron
who doesn't tip in paper money is spot
ted by the walters at the big hotels and
restaurants of New York, and all the
service that he gets after he has been
spotted could be put into the left-hand
corner of an extremely diminutive ants
nigh eye. He is damned into a shadowy
corner. generally neglected. treated to
cold or otherwise Objectionable food when
ne Is waited on sullenly by some green
waiter. and staked generally to treatment
that causes his temperature to rise con-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12
&!a(|z<9

"Banzai." holla me & Nogi. "Then
that green ghost We seen in orange
must Of been st. Patrick"
Who say ST. Patrick live in Orange
require one Irish with talented knuckles
II dor' holla me & Nogi joyly. but be
fore we could feel surprised by this re-
jim-jammed to door amidst Kilkenny
conversation and elevated down stair
way with irregular bounces.
ireland contains nothing but tempera-
ment." explain Nosi while laying
amongst his bruises.
"It is the Mary Garden spot OF the
Universe" ! expatiate hastily.
While. standing on elevated r. r. sta
ton me e Nogi observe one Ghost in
green kimono including whiskers on his
face. He was awaiting for nighttime
train with Chauncey Olcott expression.
Hon. st. Pat"' holla me & Nogi to-
gether like chorus girls.
"Ha. You know me at LAST Holla
Hon. st.
1--WE remember you with every bone
in our body" say me & Nogi together
like a college yell.
I'VE have been seeking among the
Irish and we have found considerable
military genius" I say so.
Amt all military geniuses Irish?" re-
auire Hon. Pat with Terry McGoyern
elbows.
Hon. Roosevelt amt" 1 report shyly.
HE is
Hon. Roosevelt's ancestry is n Con
gress OF the Nations" snuggest Hon.
Pat. And yet he are descended out of
the mush of antiquity from one great
Irish king, Terry McRoostus. This king
first invented clubs for fighting pur-
poses and used this weepon so ex-
tensively on the sinful that ireland was
entirely pure for 10000 complete years.
THE Irish are a race Of affectionate
pugilists," I otter.
ut was ever thusly." report st. Pat
For the Irish system is built so that a
steam pipe runs between the heart and
the feet So long as one Of them organs
keeps warm the other amt liable to get
cold"
Speaking thusly that green Ghost be-
came completely evaporated.
Hoping you are the same
Yours truly
HASHIMCRA TOGO.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

of the southwestern corner OF his facial
crevasse.
"The s4e5 out Of a fve-dollar bill tina,
I left here less than minute ago, when
/ gave you a five-dollar bill for a nickel
ticket" l said to him.
law, run away an sell y'r papes." the
ticket seller remarked to me. 'Youse
didn't leave no coin here. / git dat kind
O. stuff right along, but it never git
grafters like youse nothin'. On y'r way.
Now, | liked my cub reporters job quite
we'll, considering-often since I've won
dered just why [ liked it or why | ever
stuck to it for as long as twenty min
utes-but 1 didn't like it well enough 10
have a low-brow of this particular type
dish me up that particular kind of con-
versation. ~.
SO reached my right through the little
ticket-selling window and. caught the
ticket seller on the point of the jaw. |
considered that that would be a pretty
fairish S4.95 worth. 1t Would nave peeI
had I got away with 1t. But l didn I.
A station cop was right on the job, and
onds / was pinched.
The cop marched me before the desk
lieutenant at the city hall station. This
was at the time when collateral was
taken for minor offenses at the New YORK
police stations-a condition which no
longer exists.
ZEN collat," said the desk lieutenant.
1 didn't have any ten, and 1 told the
lieutenant so. -.
Sad, gurgly stuff. that" said the lieu
tenant. Take him back! this last 10
the cop.
And so I was being led back to cell,
when, happily. the police reporter Tor my
paper wandered into the station and saw
the situation He was a kindly. middle
aged man who had been doing the same
Work-night police reporting-nearly all
his life; he knew; me from having seen
me around the office FOR Wniie; anu
.fotr 40
for cub reporters which the Older men
of newspaper stats, for some inscrutable
reason-considering that they've all been
cubs Observation-Disclosures
"Whats up, kid?" he asked me. TOO
strong. hey? Think you're there with
YOUR maulies? That stuff will get you
into lot of trouble if you don't for
get it,
I explained the thing to him. and he
dug into his nankeens, like a regular man
spot necessary to have me turned loose
/ promised to show up in the Jefferson
Market court the next morning SO as to
save his ten dollars, and then l hoped
out again on my assignment.
This time | managed to get on board
the l. train without having to take a
chance of getting licked or arrested, and
after an interminable ride-for my time
for doing the work assigned TO me was
short. considering that il was wanted for
the first edition. finally reached Har-
lem and scrambled around and found
the impressive home of the fine old gen
teman for an account OF whose life ana
death had been sent.
The house was wholly darsened. 1t
was after l o'clock in the morning, but L
rang and rang the bell. and then Kept
right on ringing, becoming more desper-
ate all the time.
Ny joS was in the balance. / could
mentally see the night city editor squrm
N oh
obituary sketch of the deceased was not
in type. ] knew that il | didn't get the
material I had been sent after | might
Just as well not 60 back to the ONCE at
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12
Togo Finds Footprints of Hon. St. Pat.

wagon eyebrows.
Are you foolish or merely dotted?'
he require.
No reply from me & Nogi
Il am inclined to pull you to Jail for
asking questions under false pretenses,
he snagger. II have been in politics
thirty years, yet never before did sec
such ignoramus minds
American holidays are not taught in
school," we renounce.
"Thebit or Sitka, Alaska or Peruna,
Mexico or less ignorant" he snib dis
gustly. Scat away from here before I
call the jail-cart. II you wish to gossip
about Mich II why you no talk to some
Snake Charmer?"
ing sign:
MADAM RIGGoLETTo, CHARM
ING SHAKER"
For price loo we make entrance to
here and observe sweet prima donna of
Tetrazzini appearance setting on small
Republican platform surrounded by
coils and quirks Of considerable poison
variety. She was reading from works
Of Hon. Robert Chambers while Is blue
Egyptian lizards played waggishly in
her hair and one plaid-colored bow-con-
scriptor sat on her feet digesting a pig
with prosperous expression peculiar to
the Mayor Of Chicago. cobras and a
while circulating close up.
Fair morning. Japanese schoofboys!'
she renig with wholesale smiling. you
have just arrived at happy moment
Diaz, tho baby rattlesnake, has cut q
new tooth"
1--WE are careless about snakely dem
tistry," reject. 1--WE are japanese de-
teotives and have come to require ono
difficult question"
Il am dee-nehted to answer anything
of IN unpleasant nature" she pop back.
please answer this requirement" I
say so. What happens on Mich 17?"
HIssY!!!
Every reptail in that congregation
aroused upward with open teeth and in
famed tonAl. Hon. Bow-Conscriptor
tied himself around the chandelier, 8
cobras ran and hid behind portrait of
Caruso on wall. 2 Egyptian lizards at
tempt to escape down Nogi's collar,
while one garter-snaks bite Madam
Riggoletto ON knee.
Monster" she hol1a to us, "why you
come here and destroy the happiness of
my dumb friends?"
So she throw chairs to us while we
exit outwards in the midst Of squirrns.
Even snakes knows moro Irish his
tory than u.s." I say disgustly while
clipping away with Cousin Nogi.
Besides the sidewalk we seen one
brick bldg covered with green symblems
and distinctually labelled
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

by Hon. Thos. Moore, Janus Irish book
maker Yet some other was enquiring,
who can lick Ireland?" Me and Nogi
was disabled to reply.
Hon. Doorkeep. when We approach up,
require, What is your Irish Nance"
"Hashy OTogo and friend" I report.
Income for US.
One Speaker gentleman arouse up on
platform and say with Limerick prohle
Sons of EARN, soonly will come again
the anniversary Of that gladdish day
when all snakes swum out Of ireland
and entered the Dept Of the Interior,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12
Clarence L. Cu1ens New York Letter

the most sumptuous hotels there, the
girls have taken the jobs of the male
walters and proved eminently satisfac-
tory. They are tidy, patient. courteous.
obiging: they don't lose their tempers
and go away from a table mumbling poly
glot objurgations; they don't spend all
of their time looking the eyes out Of pa
irons for tips. and when they're trained
at the work they have an instinctively
dainty and pleasing idea of the right way
to serve food for meticulous human be-
ings. I never have been able to see why
anybody shouldn't prefer to have his food
brought to him and served by a trig. COM
petent. pleasing American girl than to
have his meal served by a low-broN'
alien with a. slight veneer of address.
whose secret hatred for the folks he waits
on generally lies very close to his sur
face.
THAT the Fulton street dead line
for crooks virtually is effaced was
shown the other day when an aged broker
down in the financial district was touch
ed by pair of cheerful workers for a
package of securities valued at $4,000
1t was the late Inspector Thomas
Byrnes. then at the head of New York S
detective bureau, who fixed that dead
line at Fulton street He simply warn
ed the bank sneaks and confidence men
and all-around crooks who worked on
a big scale, before Byrnes' time, in the
financial district, that they We're never
cumstances whatever: and his notification
did the work beautifully. A number of
the superior grade of crooks tried out
the dead line" at the outset to see if
it really was working; and they found
that it was. Before they'd got twenty
feet away from Fulton street on their
way toward Wall and Broad streets they
We're nailed by Quiet-looking men. who
invited them to take a little ride over
to Mulberry street; and when they got
to Byrnes' office they We're chided in
the quiet but effective, way OF that mar
velously effective police officer; and they
never went below the dead line again
in Byrnes time.
I happened to be- present in Byrnes'
office. interviewing him, one day good
many years ago, when something hap
pened that illustrated his remarkable
method of holding the then powerful
IN check.
While l was in the Office an exceeding
ly excited, fat puffy Englishman was
ushered. all het I'D and painting, into the
Office by the man on the door. He was
so wrought up that he couldn't speak
for several moments: but the choppy
phrases that he gasped made it clear
that somehow somebody had frisked
him for his roll siZable roll. too,
amounting TO something over $4,000.
Byrues didn't ask the Englishman any
questions until the latter had sort Of
cooled out. Then the overseas person
produced his card and identified himself
as an exceedingly well known English
capitalist and iron manufacture, who
later became sir.
1t appeared that this English person.
on his way to visit some American
friends i'm the capitalistic line in Wall
street, had strolled into a brokers' office
TO have look at the state of the Brit
ish market. While there he met up with
an extraordinarily affable and accom-.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12
&4&32 f1A}HINURA 1oGo=DETECTIVE
g@8&9 ~+~kY MzhAA(% MRwW1 Us

Drum-corps assisted by Music.
The Sympathetic Order of Garabaldi.
George NJ. Cohan Association riding in
taXi-cabs.
TrOmboneS playing Irish Airs.
Sympathetic Society OF Greek Candy
Brass Bands.
Etc
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

(Nudges by me & Nogi). "Order Of
march will proceed in following dis
order:
Music.
Irish American Athletic Association.
Bands.
Sons Of Murphy, Assisted by Chas. F.
Drums, Bands and Music.
Thomas Fortune Ryan Benevolent
Guild.
Austro Hungarian Band playing "The
Harp that Once"
McAdoo Tunnellers, Chauncey NJ.
Depew and Governor Dix.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

Hon. Ghost hand forth leaves of
clover appearance.
This is q leaf plucked from the slam
rock tree" he report. Wear it in your
without fight"
He evaporate away behind Jersey Cen
trail timetables.
Togo" say Nogi, this Hon. Ghost
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

rous derbies, could We require one re-
ply from your
IF it are Sufficiently difficult" ne dib
politically.
it with Shylock Holmes expression.
Everything might" he deplore. Some
other Last year it was the Clan
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

Wash, D. c. On this date of all dates
we must arrange for such a shouting
parade like New York has never saw
since the time Tiddy Roosevelt marched
Barnes residence, Albany.
This procession must amass together
in front of Mayor Gaynor's Office early
on the morning Of the Seventeenth"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

idea never mas
been a success in
New York. A lot
of shops employ
ing woman bar
bers exclusively
have been started
here at various
times during the
past dozen years
but none of them
has lasted. The
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

ANCIENT ORDER of HIBERNATION
Irish Welcome
Others Tolerated.
This would be good place for u.s. l
report to Cousin Nogi while attaching
that shamrock bush to necktie
On interior side of hall several 1000s
patriotism Several was singing poems
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

To Editor Sunday Star, sweathearted
printer whose ink turns green when
he thinks Irish,
Dear Sir.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

report, Wear 1T in your dudeen.' What
is a dudeen in his language"
"Dudeen are a Irish word meaning
go forthly to seek for Mch 18th.
We arrive to n. Y. city. BY prominent
water-plug Of Tammany Hall appear
ance we observe one Jewish policeman
behaving very legally.
20 Hon. Police" we say with chival-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

USH, f..
This frightened
quotation arrived
to brain Of Me e.
Nogi at central
hour Of midnight
when we " a S
clipping through
Orange, n. j., at
tempting to look
patriotick.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

Rafferty, who destroyed the table Of
contents Of II orange wagons and mob
bed Broadway actor because he walked
like an Englishman."
"Is Ireland free on Mch 17?" I ask
out.
Very" report Hon. Police.
celebrated" is next question for me.
Hon. Police look to us with patrol
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

unusual for particularly heavy-cheSted
male creatures to give the manicure girl
as high as s.. and in few cases even $40.
for the mancuring job. There is mani
cure girl at one of the Times square ho-
tells whose income averages close to $50
a week from fees and tips, and as she
has been at the work for several years,
she is in a fair way to become rich, par
ticularly as she was wise enough, when
first the money began to come in to in
vest her savings in real estate specula-
tons in that wondrously profitable old
property now so enormously enhanced in
value, in the nelghborhood of the new
Pennsylvania station.
x
D ECENTI.Y l heard that two of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

Hon. Speaker say this program and
set downwards.
"Banzai." holla one Irisher with
talented knuckles. 'What-say Hon.
Homer, Janus Irish epic, about Mch II?
He-say
when I refer to sod that's green
guess you know the place 1 mean
Hurrah for Mch the Seventeen
St Patrick's Day in the mornin'r"
'WilI st. Patricks Day arrive on Mch
17?" we require nervely.
'If it don't there will be more fights
than usual" snuggest Hon. Irish.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

New Yorker doeSn appeal w
be shaved or have his locks shorh os
woman folks. I don't know why 'his
should be- considering that Woihd"
BARRIERS are so successful In Chicaeo'
The Chicagoan likes TO be oarperea os
feminine hands. There's something
p.ychological in this which don't pro-
fess to analyze. Certainly the Chicago
man isn't any more modest, 80 10
speak, or bashful and retiring, than
the New York man. You wouldn't at
tribute any Of these characteristics
either to the New Yorker or the Chi
caroan. Yet the female barber shop
lansuishes and perishes in New York
while IL has been a conspicuous sue
cess in the Lake town.
Personally, have never been able to
h1ure out Just why it should be sue
cess anywhere. 1t is. Of course. wholly
a matter OF individual taste. But once
i tried getting shaved by a per1ec
loidy barber. and ] didn't like 1t worth
q centavo. She was d beauteous chi
cago young person, too, with dainty
fingers fiuffy-wuffy hair. large violet
eyes, a complexion Of creamy paIlor
and barber from away back. But
somehow the experience made me nerv-
Gus and jumpy. / wasn't afraid that
she was going to cut me or anything
like that: but, TO my dormant sense OF
snugness or conventionality what
ever it ought to be called. it seemed
upseemly. as 1T We're. to have my jowls
razored in that familiar. intimate way
by a young female person of twenty
or so 20 whom l had had no introduc-
ton whatever.
7 FELT so constrained, In fact. that
couldn't make very Ineligible replies. /
feav. 70 her easy, chatty questions. put to
nc Just like any male barbering person
She told me she thought the weather
wasn't 50 bad. and asked me If | thought
the Cubs we're going TO cop the rag that
year. Then abe inquired il | knew OF any
good thing in the days races, interspers-
Ing this with queries TO whether the
razor suited me. OF course. having gone
this far. size asked me If didn't want my
hair singed and my neck shaved: told me
that The last haircut Id got must have
been given TO me by member of the
Buttonhole Makers Union, and sort OF
gently strung me along generally. But l
was glad TO get out OF that girl barber $
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

s,ecisI Correspondence Of The Star.
NEW YORK. March II, !
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

D ECENTI.Y l heard that two of the
IN leading hotels of New York have i
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-03-12

copyright, 1911, by the Associated Literary Press