Morris tribune., 1911-07-21

YELL 'THIEFl DUB! CROOK RoBBERl"
signals. And the right fielder throws
to the center fielder, and the center
fielder throws home the ball reaching
the catcher's hands just as the runner
gets to the plate.
"Outv says the umpire.
"Wotv' demands the captain of the
home team, which is the one to which
the runner belongs.
"Out, said," returns the umpire
truculently. 'See"
This is all the bleachers need. Rob
ber"' they yell.
"Thiefw
"Dub!'
"Crookr'
II seen it myself. He was safe as
choich! Gee, he couldn't "a ben no
safer f he'd stayed home! Thief!
Yaaaaaar
Meanwhile the runner has brushed
the dust from himself and retired to
the bench. He gets his pay just the
same, so what does he care? And the
captain of the home team after max
ing, purely for FORMS sake, perfume
tory complaint subsidies, for he, too,
gets paid just the same. so what does
he care? And the umpire gets paid
just the same, no matter what he de-
cides, so again what does he care? In
fact, nobody seems to care much ex-
cept the bleachers.
The uninitiated might naturally sup
pose that the best game is that in
which the most runs are made, but.
this is not so. Quite to the contrary.
the best game is that in which the
fewest runs are made. And so the
batters step up only to be struck out,
and on the third strike out the sides
change. My. but it's exciting!
And so it goes on and on and on, and
then finally one of the White Sox or
the Red Heads, or whatever they are,
hits the ball with good left handed
wallop. And away it goes, while the
long legged, hungry looking batsman
hikes off for first base as though there
were money waiting there for him.
Then some one else manages to get
his bat in the way Of the ball, and off
he starts for first, while the man for
merly on that much desired spot (whO
has in the interval of two strikes and
two balls managed to land safe on
second after twenty foot slide on his
sternum) prances gayly off to third.
And the man who hit it last succeeds
in getting to second ere the left fielder
J,n ri
A third man comes up to the plate.
And then something happens. And the
man beside you gets up and hops up
and down and soaks you on the ear
with his newspaper and yells:
GOO boy! H'ray! Yah, yah! Gee !
whatasoak! Run. y ice wagon. run! |
Fineandandy! Vow. VOW! Heeeeeeeee- |
yahr' |
And the petulant youth with the hec- !
tic scarf and the industrious cigarette |
cries gentlemanly:
Raw, raw. Well struck, Cassidyw |
And every one jumps up and begins ,
to howl and shrek and wave frantic !
arms, and finally some whirling der ;
Wish behind you lams you over the
Qedu VIII ny JOlSt ana Grams !
your hat down over your eyes. By the
time you get it up where you can look
out from under everybody is walking
over you to get out. for the American
public is always in hurry. 1t is in
hurry to get where it is going 1t is in
a hurry to get through with what it
came for. 1t is in hurry to get home
again. And. for that matter, it is in
hurry to get away from home almost
as soon as it's got there. The only
thing which Americans don't hurry
over is paying bills.
Then comes another hour of catch
as-catch-can travelling. and at about
$50 you get home with your clothes 4
torn your disposition ruined. your hat
and a nose that would do
credit to Keeley cure freshman
Oh. it's a great game. Is baseball'
By and by. when get another grand
mother. I'm going again.