davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
DAILY SHORTEST STORY
The Hiss That Failed

With hideousIy working features, Of
which he had several, the red-headed
man sat up in bed. His hands clenched
convulsively, and ever and anonymous
" in the frenzied fury that filed him
he thrashed the air with his long arms.
I'll kill him yeti" he hissed. I'll
kill him YETI
That was all he hissed, yet the
hiss of It was as the hiss Of a steam
engine The red-headed man meant
what he said.
Another day broke loudly, yet t.re
red-headed man had not closed his eye
in sleep. He had spent the night hiss
ing.
The next night the red-headed man
was not alone when he retired.
murderous-looking club was with him.
Scarcely had our hero closed his eyes
when a sharp hiss was hissed. But it
was not our hero's.
The red-headed man sprang out Of
bed, swung the mighty club, and
brought it down with terrific force.
The mosquito was smashed to a pulp.
The Washington times., 1911-03-20

married women you know and say
you would rather be as you are.
You deceive yourself.
Marriage is a lottery, a risk, a
gamble, any uncertain thing you
will But 1t is not CERTAIN re-
gret. 1t is not an aching sense
Of being only half accomplished.
have looked at bachelor maids
with such interest and so conscien-
tiously. have heard the honest
confessions of some of them who
have achieved notable personal
successes. And 1 have yet to find
one who feels that her success
compensates for the loss of the
joy and sorrow, the growth and the
self discovery which can come to
the woman who marries.
And 1 have compared the regret
of the woman who has married un-
happily with the regret of the
woman who has not married at all
One is the misery Of realization;
the other the agony of the unful-
filed.
Listen, you fine. sensible bachelor
maid: Do not let the fashion-plate
girls and the social octopuses in
hobble Skirts get all the good men.
They will If you do not go in to
win. A good man Is just as good
for you as he is for a foolish
virgin. And you are vastly better
for him. Let him see how nice
you are.
The Washington times., 1911-03-20

Just listen to that fool girl gig
glin', Belle. Amt that enough to make
you resolve to stop laughin' for year?
If I hadn't O. seen what started it
I'd want to be let in on a joke like that
myself. But, do you know what she's
cacklin' about? A woman came in with
a baby about five minutes ago, and
rammed the poor little kids head
against a fat mans bay window. And
she's been at 1t ever since.
When 1 see the things that make a
lot Of people laugh. Belle, l begin to
think this country's not so civilized
after all, or else some folks have got
too many funny bones. Bill and I took
IN q vaudeville show the other night,
and one Of the acts was three of these
fellows that make an honest Twin bury
In hatchets in each others heads and
1allin fifteen feet on the first part of
their anatomy that comes handy, while
the bass drum tries to beat 'em to it.
They hadn't been on the stage two
seconds when the Irishman kicked the
Dutchman on the chin and the Chinese
almost broke the drummer arm fall
m on his nose. And they looked like
they was havin' the time Of their lives.
was Just turnin' around to see how
many people was leavin' the house
when I heard a cackle in back Of me,
O roar in front and ha-ha's on both
sides loud enough to bring the police.
The place was in commissions.
'Do you think they're laughin' to let
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
Loretta's Looking Glass

TT is all very well, this splendid
/ appearance of independence
that you make. And you enjoy
it-now. You revel in your foot
looseness and your freedom.
But 1t cannot last. Let me tell
you why.
Nature has no use for a bachelor
maid. She has no place for her in
her scheme. She does not count
her as one of the essential figures
in the pageant of her progress
1t does not change the state to
call OLD MAIDENHOOD by a new
and somewhat more flattering
name. You are just exactly what
your old-fashioned prototype was.
1t Is more comfortable to be just
that now than 1t was then. But
you and she are the same, even
though you do look different in
the modern garb Of larger. oppor-
tunities and more varied activi-
ties.
You are an unfulflled woman.
You are the wandering half of some
human whole that you were meant
to form.
And none of the varied activi-
ties can compensate you, for the
one particular line Of self develop
ment and happiness that you are
missing. Your charity work and
your advanced study, your travelling
and your suffrage agitating, your
church life and your social diver
sion, whatever takes the time that
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
Mamie's Trolley Monologue

the fellows know they're maxim fools
of themselves" I says to Bill, "or IL
this really funny? I was thinkin' OF
writin' to the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Idiots" says.
Il think they're laughin' to think that
some day one of ems goin' to get
killed" says Bill.
Well" I says, "thatl be about the
only week he'll earn his salary"
Belle, I'm gOin' to make sure the
man I marry knows what to laugh at
before l give him the glad reply. If
man asks you to love, honor and help
bear expenses, Belle-and stranger
things than that have happened-the
first thing you want to do is to bump
your nose against the door hard enough
to rattle the windows.
Then, if he laughs, say gently, but
firmly, Good night
Listen to her, Belle; she's still at it.
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
: z
The Southern View The Northern View
March 20, 1851.

President Lincoln let 1t be known
that he would not withdraw the fed
eral forces from Fort Sumter under
any consideration. Great enthusiasm
was manifested in the north when il
was also stated that he had never for
a moment seriously contemplated do
ing so. He had been anxious to give
a fair hearing to his cabinet on the
subject, and in order to understand
the view OF each member he asked
their opinions in written form.
The question was a most difficult
one because of the grave results at
tending its decision.
President Lincoln was convinced
that the Withdrawal of Major Ander-
son would have the appearance of
virtual surrender, and be a species of
acknowledgment of a legal power in
the south which the president by his
oath is forbidden to entertain.
Declares War Is Inevitable
The Republican, a newspaper of
Washington, declared that the war
is inevitable and will come before the
year is out"
The extra session of the senate at
Washington resumed the considera-
tion of Senator Douglas resolution
calling for information relative to the
forts.
Senator CIingman. of North Car
olina, pointed out that the policy Of
the president led straight to war. III
the policy of the administration is to
be peaceful, why is II not announced
TO it's friends" he asked.
The senator asked if the govern
ment did not intend war. why the
great mobilization OF troops at New
York; why orders had gone to the
Mediterranean and other stations to
hurry home our ships.
The debate was participated in by
Senator Clark, of New Hampsh! ire;
Breckenridge, of Kentucky; Chandler,
of Michigan. and others.
The proposed loan of S15,000,0O0 OF
the confederate states" was widely
discussed among financial men in the
north. 1t was the belief that 1t could
mostly be subscribed for in the south.
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
SHE HOLDS 1T. UP TO THE
Bachelor Maid

you must needs fill, are but so
many ways to keep you from think
ing of what you really want to do
and be, of what you need to make
you recognize yourself as an es-
sential, instead Of an accessory,
creature.
You ought to marry. You should
fulfill the destiny that will ofrer
you the largest chances for fullest
growth.
Oh! do not point to the unhappy
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
FREDDY SMITH"
On Heart and Soul

Yu wus askin' me, Jimmie, how you
can luv uh woman wild yur heart an
soul. Bein's yu aint never been in
luv yur sorter perplexed bout de
matter?
When yu goes tn hur. Jimmie, an
tells hur how much yu luves her; how
WI could die fur hur an slave till yur
bak wus broke, an all dat, den yur
luvtn' hur wild yur heart. Cause yu
can explain de feelins' an motions
dats takin place widin yur. But when
ct cumes tu luvin' hur wild yur soul
The Washington times., 1911-03-20

dat's sort Nv perplexin' tn explain. I
s'pose dat's when yu got uh feelin'
like-yu don't know what-an' yu
wants sumpin' an yu don't knows
what yu wants. s'pose dats yur soul
uh speakin' fur hur
Yur feelin' blue, but yu don't know
what it's uh'bout. Yu thinks Nv hur,
but yu amt satisfied Yu 'preciates
de nature bout yu; yu enjoys de
trees; yu listens tn de birds; yu feels
de air dats warm an sof' uh blowin'
in yur face an yu sees de udders uh
smilin' an happy. Yu likes all dis,
but yu amt satisfied.
Den, when yu sees hur ct all goes
an yu want tn tell hur bout yur luv'
an yu feels yur heart uh speakin,.
Oats when yu luves hur wild yur SOUL
Jimmie.
The Washington times., 1911-03-20

apples and bananas that We keep on
display outside the store.
And the pat on the back goes to me
You see we couldn't very we'll ask him
to stop making his lunches off our fruit,
because We often string our boxes along
the pavement farther than the law al
lows, and he could get mean II he
wanted to.
Now for the plot. We have the most
obedient little errand boy that ever
delivered a Sunday dinner to the wrong
address. We also have Mrs. Hammers,
the crUstiest customer in four states
As per instructions, William took a
peck of apples to Mrs Hammers that
had about fifteen apples missing.
William told her the policeman had
eaten them while the order stood
outside the door.
don't know what Mrs. Hammers
said to that cop, but oh. you strategy!
The Washington times., 1911-03-20

would have chicken salad. and-and I'd eat it,
"Aw fudge" growed Mr. Peeved you've
than that Take petty can't with
foolish talk and make believe it"
Isn't enough Mrs Peeved angrily
don't cards Lent You needn't think that
Just Mrs Bger than and
a fs that
have for her house think she's
horrd loud and she makes remarks, but
haven't anything against her. It's simply that i
Forget snapped Mr. Peeved "the thing stands this I'm
going that card party. you're dead ben like
all the the fool ahead and stay home You know
a all You're
something mournfu about There who
happy unless she miserable and yOu-'
"Oh WE'LL cried Mrs Peeyed beginning sob ego ahead
hhome all a-alone that's the OF tthing
10 w-when she b-brue
grumbled Mr. Peved angy start
maxim
Spose you have made play cards Lenti
suppose you"
arguing John Peved shifted his wife, wpng
her eyes corner of her centerpece. q" never
please Peeved" interrupted Della from the doorway the
a what de bridge
dis afternoon says, Will you all please sign receipt
Mr. Pceved. huedy left the
room; YOU'D better Bger while you're it,
petty"
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
THE EXCUSE

Vicar-James. I have not seen you at
church for some months. Does not the
voice OF duty call to you?
James-Maybe it do, sir, but since 1
had the influenzy last winter I've been
as deaf as a post.
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
SAVING SHOE LEATHER

What on earth are you doing on
roller skates this wet day.
Wen, you see, nay shoes are worn
through on the soles, and my shoemaker
won't trust me any more till I make a
nayment on my account"
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
SPELLING LESSON

Edward" said the teacher, you
have spelled the word rabbit with two
is. You must leave one of them out"
Yes, ma'am," replied Edward; !;
which ons?''
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
EXPLAINED

She (pouting)-Why did you give Nell
roses and me only a carnation?
He-Because I thought you would see
at once meant to imply that you were
a pink OF perfection. ....
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
OUR GROCERY CLERK SAYS
Strategy's the Thing

See that corpulent cop holding up the
telegraph pole across the street? Well.
for at least two weeks to come he won't
have the nerve to crib the nifty-looking
The Washington times., 1911-03-20

BiIly-Hello, Jimmiel How's 1t ye
didn't come fishin' yesterday, like ye
promised?
jimmie couldn't agree wild dad
on it. He insisted dat / go to school
and 1 insisted dat 1 go fishin', an we
compromised on a lickin'.
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
Senator Wisfall in Baltimore

Senator Wigfall, of Texas, is greeted
warmly in Baltimore, where he ad-
dresses a large crowd of citizens, after
a serenade. Among other things, he
said: The people OF the south have
seeded and 1 hope those who listen
to my remarks will never make a
retrogade movement. They have been
greatly slandered and 1t has been
charged that they have designs of
seizing upon the capitol at Washington.
But for what purpose. when they have
a capital OF their own at Montgomery?
The congress of the border states would
not meet in Washington, no matter
what might be the character of affairs
and condition OF the country. I re-
gard the people of Virginia and Mary
land as acting in the dark and unmind-
full OF their best interests in hesitating
to secede and 1 at least expected bet
ter things of them"
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
Mr.. PEEVED PROTESTS
AgaIns st Won1en's
Desire for Martyrdon1
TO HIS PATIENT WIFE
w WIFE

De BILGER in to see me today" said Mr..
Peeved coming into the library and taking the
paper off fresh box of cigars. Said he and wife
were getting up bridge party for Friday night and
wanted to be there. l said"
81 don't what you said" snapped Mrs.
Peeved we're not going"
Not going not going" retorted Mr.. Peeved.
well just guess ! said we'd 60
mo, we're not, persisted Mrs. Peeved, thrust
ing her needle viciously through her fancy work.
81 don't believe in playing cards in Lent. Added to
that Friday is fast daY and ! lust know that
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
NEWS OF THE CIVIL WAR
As Told in Daily
Dispatches Printed
FIFTY YEARS AGO TODAY

lIFTY years ago began the memorable struggle
{: : J: !.
IL. the civil
~ The Evening Times has searched the old
VI paper files of both northern and southern cities
vi published during that stirring period and present
y ing from day day the and
y | i reflection of public sentiment it appeared in
GhG each section at that time.
.Ik~MSfN the southland the dispatches taken
fYynH directly from the files of oldme newspaper of
lSTHNYhW Richmond, Va and from the north the is
drawn from several sources, including files of old
.Ioft The larger cities
The Washington times., 1911-03-20
March 20, 1851

According to a special from Mont
gomery, Ala, members Of the Alabama
state convention call on President JET
ferson Davis to pay their respects. In
reply to a toast President Davis said:
III it should come to war, we would
invade the north and compel them to
support the contending armies"
Vice President Alexander H. Stephens,
Of the southern confederacy. and Presi-
dent Davis were greeted with rounds Of
applause, according to the special.
The Richmond Daily Dispatch says:
Petersburg has covered itself with
glory At one time the strongest union
town in Virginia, the manifest coercion
policy Of the irreproachable administra-
ton at Washington has opened its eyes
to the truth that secession is the only
remedy consistent with honor and in
dependence of Virginia. We should like
to hear Richmond speak and all slave
holding Virginia to let its voice be
heard"
The Washington times., 1911-03-20

De Whiz-He's awfully clever with a
gun!
De Quiz-A good shot, eh?
De Whiz-No. ! don't mean that way.
De Quiz-What do you mean then?
De Whiz-Why, he couldn't find the
hammer yesterday, and he drove the
tacks into the carpets with his new
revolver.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-05-29
State Department Pays S2,45O
for a Picture Costing
Only $3.50
NOW SEARCHING FILES
TO VERIFY STATEMENT
House Committee on Expen-
dltureS Amazed at Re-
velations of Albert
Rosenthal

W WASHINGTON. D. C., May ga
Charges that an $3.50 portrait Of for
naer Secretary Of State Day cost the
State department s2.450, were made
before the House committee on expen-
ditures in the State department to-
day by Albert Rosenthal, a portrait
painter.
Rosenthal told the committee that
he received what he thought was d
personal check from former clerk VIII
liam Il. Michaels, OF the State de-
partment, and that the voucher drawn
on the department, as turned In by
Michaels called for $2,45o. This dis
crepancy was discovered when Rosen-
thai endeavored to sell the department
portrait of former Secretary Hay,
and was told that his price, $3.50 as
shown by the record OF the Day por-
trait, was exorbitant. Rosenthal pro-
tested he had only received $3.50.
The committee confused by this
revelation adjourned Immediately af-
ter issuing a summons for Thomas
Morrison, file clerk of the department
and the vouchers In question.
Michaels is now consul general at
Calcutta. receiving salary OF $4,000
per year,
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-05-29
AMERICANS ON
MEXICAN COAST
FEAR MASSACRE
BANDITS PLUMBER AND KILL m.
MiNATELY. WOMEN ARE
ToRTuRED-ENTlR SECTION
UNDER REIGN OF TERROR.

SAN FRANCISCO. May 29.--That =
veritable reign OF terror is Is In pro-
gress along the entire West Mexican
coast. from Guerrero to Mazatlan and
that conditions are becoming daily
worse Is declared by fifty refugees who
arrived to-day on the steamer New.
port. Thirty-one are Americans.
At every port touched by the ves-
sci on It's trim northward. scores clam.
ored for passage. but the boat was 50
crowded that her officers were COM
PEELED to refuse.
The refugees say the whole country
Is being secured by armed banditas
robhing and killing indiscrimina,eiy.
Everywhere women on plantations
have been attacked and subjected to
horrible indignities When the steam Il
er approached Mazatlan. her officers
were advised that no one would b
permitted to land.
Refugees reaching the vessels side in
small boats, said the water supply OF
the town had been cut of and that
the whole surrounding district had been
devastated. Many Americans arc
penned up In Mazatlan and they fear
outrages viii follow the capture Of the
town. DIR. George Rich, an American
from Ahuijallo, State OF Jaiisco, says
the rebels are crying Death to thu
Gringoes." Fears that there viii soon
be a. massacre of Americans on the
west coast similar to the massacre a
Chinese at Torreon.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-05-29
CHARGE TOO MUCH
FOR HAULING ICE
INTERSTATE COMMERCE CON-
MISSION GIVES JUDGMENT
AGAINST COMPANIES.

| WASHINGTON, D. c., May 29,-
| Rates on Ice affecting a large proper
! ton OF the smaller cities of New York
and pennsylvania, were slashed by the
! Interstate Commerce Commission In a
decision handed down and five manu-
facturers located In these two States
| were awarded damages in the sum
of ss4,9l0.07. Practically every road
operating between New York and
Pennsylvania was found guilty of rate
extortion. Half hundred dealers jotn-
ed their complaints 10 those OF the
manufa cturers demanding individual
damages. These claims were rejected
following proof that ice was sent to
| them prepaid.
A tentative victory in a legal bat
tie to Increase western lumber rates
by ! IL cents per hundred pounds
was scored by the Santa Fe railroad
over the Interstate Commerce Com
mission to-day when the United States
Court of Commerce denied the motion
OF the government to dismiss the rail-
roads complaint. The rates In con-
troversy were ordered reduced by the
commission more than a year ago. II
the railroad finally loses its fight to
overturn the commissions order, II
must pay nearly 100000 TO ship
pers IN damage claims.
Solar t'iexus Tor Isolated Plants.
The back TO the farm movement was
handed solar plexus blow by the
Interstate Commerce Commission to-
day when IT ruled that persons living
In out-of-the-way localities must pay
higher freight rates for the same mile
age than those living in places reach
ed by a number of railroads. The
decision virtually makes competition
justify violation of the long and short
haul clause and viii nullify hundreds
of damage claims based OF. that law
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-05-29
Former President Will Prob
ably Tell What He Knows
About Merger
COMMITTEE BELIEVES
TEDDY WAS "BUNCOED"
Lively Session of Probers is
Anticipated When Siren
Gus One Takes
Chair

WASHINGTON, May 2a.--Col.
Theodore Roosevelt, former pres
ldenf of the United States, may
appear before the Stanley steel
trust investigating committee of
the House to tell what no knows
about the absorption of the Ten :
nessee Coal and Iron Company by
the steel trust.
The Stanley committee 1n-dav
awaited anxiousiy an answer to an
informal invitation sent Col. Roose-
welt, requesting him to come to Wash
ington and testify. Following the
testimony OF John w. Gates. contra
dieting practically every statement set
forth in the famous Roosevelt letter
to Attorney General Bonapnrte, in
which Roosevelt said that Gary and
Frick had volunteered to save the
situation" by taking over tho r. G.
IL J., the committee decided 70 get
IN touch with Roosevelt.
The committee believes that through
Col. Roosevelt they can establish that
Gary and F'rick came TO Washington,
buncoed' the president into believ-
Ing that unless the absorption OF the
i. &. ~ /. WAS permitted tho Nor
gan crowd would plunge the country
into financial chaos.
The invitation to Col. Roosevelt
was not sent through official channels
but through "a personal friend In
Washington. who wired Col. Roosevelt,
that his presence is desired If he
would come willing. The committee
Is exceedingly anxious to get him
here.
Chairman Stanley and other mem
bers OF the com mittee have been pro-
ceeding in the matter circumspectly
however. fearing that any 'blare OF
trumpets" In this instance would
cause tho committee to be criticized
for playing policies
for playing politics.
The committee Will meet again to.
morrow, when either John Lambert
or E. II. Gary VIII be on hand. Mann
OF the steel trust officials SO far sab,
poenaed have been asking that they
he excused for dxy or two
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-05-29
THIEVES ARE ACTIVE
IN SOUTH BOSTON

HOUSTON. VA. May 29.--Last
night thieves broke open several
trunks at the Norfolk and Western
railway station In South Boston and
tho extent OF the damage 10 not Yet
known. Presumably the same band
entered Gilliand's dry goods shop
early Sunday morning. taking there
from several hundred dollars worth
OF goods They effected an entrance
In the shop by breaking In q window
light over q rear door This is the
second theft Of this nature in the past
few months which has resulted dis
astrously to Mr.. Gilliand.
No clew to either robbery has yet
been discovered.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-05-29
Idsf Of known Dead

LINCOLN, NEB.. May 2s.--It IL
stated at the general superintendent
office here at noon that eight persons
were known to be dead In the wreck
near Indianoia earlv day. The list
OF dead as given out by the Burling-
ton follows:
A. A. HIsSABECK. Holdredge, Neb.
ROBERT SHEPHERD, travelling
salesman. Holdrege. Neb.
ENGINEER JOHN H HYDER, OF
No. IL. and his fireman.
W. J. CAMERON, both of Lincoln.
ENGINEER w. r. LAHEY and his
fireman,
A j. OLSEN. both OF Lincoln
EXPRESS MESSENGER FRAZER.
EXPRESS MESSENGER FRIAR
Nearly two score passengers and
trainmen were injured
Among the injured are:
Fl. Kelly. Omaha, ball PLAYER.
Robert NJ. Anderson, "a. e street.
Washington. p. c.
o. II. Anderson. mail clerk. Linz
coin, Neb.
Both engines We're badly smashed.
fConttnIed ON Third Pa syeN
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-05-29
Eight Passengers Are Kill
ed in Wreck on the
Burlington Road
AMUSEMENT PARK IS
SCENE OF A TRAGEDY
Four are Missing, Many are
Injured and Financial Loss
Will be Quarter of
a Million

NDfANOfAA, NEB., May o.
disastrous wreck ON the Bur
iington occurred early to-day two
miles west of IndianoIa, resulting
In the death of eight persons and
the injury of large number of
passengers, some of them fatally.
The steam pipes burst on several
of the cars ana many were badly
scalued.
The Omaha and Denver base
ball clubs were both on the train.
several Denver players were In
1urcd but none was killed.
Passenger train No. IL, east
bound. had orders to take siding
at Redwood, IA small station west
OF here. but came ON east Pas
senger train No. 8, running at fif-
~ Mules an hour, crashed into
No. IL and both trains were ditch
ed. The engtnernen on both
trains were killed.