Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1911-08-24

DeCdLue eNIueuI 10 DOtn Objects tudt
they were rivals the fire burned hot
ter In the breast Of the younger, and
the elder drew q tighter rein in his
offici..l intercourse with his inferior.
Then came Lieutenant Phillips ex-
animation for promotion, and. owing
partly TO his being absorbed by love
rather than his studies and partly
from the breach of discipline for which
his colonel had reduced him from the
position Of adjutant. he was denied a
captains commission.
The young man, conceiving that this
deprivation was the result Of the colo
nel's animosity toward him, preferred
charges against him for tyrannical
treatment.
The commander Of the department
In which all this happened was an
uncle Of Miss Marjory Dressler. His
official position prevented his express
ing any opinion In the matter. but his
wife, not being similarly handicapped.
took secret part In the proceedings.
Miss Dressler was her sisters child,
and the young lady. inasmuch as she
was In doubt whether she would mar
| ry the colonel or the lieutenant, would
one day influence her aunt toward the
| defendant, the next toward the plain
| tig. The former being a prominent
artillery officer. that arm Of the serv-
ice took great interest In the trial.
some siding with and some against
their comrade Of the big guns.
or course the officers families took
great interest In the trial, and, as there
IL intercourse between the different
corps. the trouble spread to the In
| fantry, cavalry and the staff corps.
Thus by the time the court was ready
to try the case the whole army was
| involved.
The members assembled in full uni
form. The first proceeding was the
reading Of the charge. which was tyr
amy, AID the specifications, which
were very numerous. The first speci-
| fication began thus:
''In this, that on or about the -th
| day Of -, 10, the said PLAINTIFF
being Gu dress parade, a fly lighted
on his nose, the organ being very sore
and painfully tender
| NJ punt thC phCciuCht VI thO
court interposed.
whoever drew that specification
should be cashiered. Lieutenant Phil
lips is not being tried because fly
lighted on his nose. Colonel Auchin-
Gloss is being tried on charge Of
tyranny"
| 1t was explained to the president,
who was SO much of soldier that he
could not be anything Of lawyer,
that this incident Of fly lighting on
the adjutants nose was the beginning
of the trouble, whereupon he was sat
isfed, and the reading proceeded.
There was one matter that could not
be introduced into the trial. That was
the rivalry between plaintiff and de-
PENDANT for the hand Of Miss Dressler.
But everybody knew that this had
added fuel to the flame till the fly
that had lighted on the adjutant's nose
had been put entirely In the back
ground. When the trial began and all
through the army the question was
asked, whats this rumpus between
Colonel Auchincloss and PhillipsY the
reply was invariably, "Why, you see.
a fly lit on Phillips nose when he was
on dress parade" etc. But after
awhile when the question was asked
the reply would be, mo one knows,
but If you want to get at the bottom
of the matter you'll have to look for
a woman in the case"
It was found necessary to bring wit
nesses (at government expense) from
the uttermost points OF the world, and
when q witness was summoned IL was
necessary to wait for his or her ar
rival. So the case dragged and was
very expensive till at last It was
found necessary to ask congress for a
special appropriation to carry 1t on.
The matter was then taken up by the
secretary Of war, who sent for the
Judge advocate Of the court and asked
him to give the facts. The judge adj
vocate began:
"why. you see, Mr. Secretary, when
Lieutenant Phillips was on dress pa
rade fly Lit on a sore spot on the end
Of his nose"
81 haven't time for thatv' snapped
the secretary. "Give me the gist OF
it."
There's no gist to It."
"Isn't there some way Of getting rid
Of it,"
'"That depends"
ION whatT
"a woman"
The secretary was informed that
the rancor was kept up by a niece Of
the commander Of the department who
couldn't make up her mind whether
she wished to marry the colonel or the
lieutenant
go tell her to come to me-that
have something nice for her."
Miss Dressler answered the sum-
mons in person and expectantly.
"What is your ambition?" asked the
secretary.
''To be the wife Of military at
tache at a foreign court"
"Name the man you wish for hus-
band and he shall be appointed"
Lieutenant Bob Phillips"
THAT will do. Good morning"
The next day Lieutenant Phillips
| Withdrew his charges apainst ColooeI