The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-28

She Is fairer than the fairest, and neat
 CT than the neat,
 She is rarer than the rarest, and sweet
 CT than the sweet,
 She is finer than the finest-of all the girls
 divinest, is her dainty royal high
 ness. Marguerite"
 Thus sang a callow youth, with hair parted in the middle and wearing rain- bow tie
 "Mush," said the grabbed old bachelor. "Drivel." snapped the hard-headed busi- ness man. "A snare and deluson," re- marked the hen-pecked married man, They all look good when they're far away said the cynic. "Oh, what a diff ference in the morning" blithly warbled the gay widower But notwithstanding these and other sundry remarks, the youth sang on with an earnestness that showed that he, at least, meant every word.
 Now, despite these criticisms, 1t Is a safe bet that had her imperial highness appeared on the scene In person the whole bunch would have fallen over themselves in the effort to render homage to charming femininity, and have been ready and willing to lay everything al her feet.
 And twas ever thus, and ever will be- In past ages men dared all for woman's s smlle today he will risk all for woman's love. Yet what complex creature she Is and how hard to understand. Just when a fellow thinks he is wise as to some particular dainty little demoselle. just then he ain't for when he has about reached the two can live as cheap as one" fallacy, he gets a jolt that loosens his back teeth. He learns his fair enamo- rst ta is about to marry a portly individ- ual old enough to be her dad, with a wart on his nose and billy goat whiskers to boot; but he also has the rocks" which makes the difference, and she Is just merely exercising the privilege of mar rying whom she pleases.
 We read that men are "fearfully and wonderfully made" yet how gloriously is woman planned. We are taught she was made from the rib of a man. What a magnificent result from such bum ma terial. Apropos, Jones had killed a hog and invited a few friends to dinner. Among the dishes served were spare ribs. A guest held up one of the ribs. and turning to a lady sitting next to him, whose age was as uncertain as her tenn per, said facetiously, Woman was made from one of these" Yes" she snapped, and from the same kind of a critter."
 Speaking of ribs, we well may wonder if fellow is justified when he sees the object of his affection passing down the street, if he says, There goes one of my spare ribs" But whatever the material, the result is wonderfully, be- witchingly rapturousiy divine; and ey- cry feature of womans face so fair and every curve of female form di- vine has been the inspiration of geni- uses of all ages. Poets pen and artists with each other in portraying woman s wondrous charms.
 The beauty of the old masters in the world of art is largely due to the unsurpassed richness of color and the wonderful shades and blends pro- duced by the skillful mixing of paint yet the greatest effort of human genius | falls far short of that of the divine artist who, with veritable carnage of color, has tinted and touched and beau tiied and adorned the most glorious of all living creatures
 There is no blue like that of maid ems eye; no red to match the richness of her ruby lips; no heart of rose or downy peach to compare with the tints of her exquisite complexion; no coral so delicate as the shade of her dainty Shell-like ears; no furnished gold eer matched the sheen of her golden tresses; no silvery chime of tolling bell or silver throated bird ere thrilled the air with melody so divine as that that flows from her lips; no curves so grace full or harmonious as those of that out limo her matchless form; no skin sc white, no hands so fair; no feet so neal but enough. Words, mere words, are entirely inadequate to describe half the beauties of the adorable creature.
 However, 1t is not given to any one person to possess all the charms-nat- urally. They are parceled out, as if were. One girls chief attraction may be the beauty and expression of her eyes; another by mouth describing a perfect Cupid's bow, and which seems
 
 even though devoid of personal em- bellishments, they are girls whose charm of manner. depth of soul and strength of character make them as at tractive as those more favored by the god of beauty.
 But the alchemy of time and of count less generations have wrought some fear full and startling changes and the divine plan in some instances has been changed around, so to speak.
 The maiden's eyes may be sickly green and so crossed that when she cr{es she removes the tears from the back of her neck; her mouth may resemble the en- trance of a railroad tunnel and her teeth be like crumbling tombstones; her skin may look like a blacksmths apron ol an ancient manuscript; her head and hail like a last years birds nest, with the color of winter carrot or an over-burnt brick-bat; the bloom, charming or the cheek, may have settled on her nose carrying out the color scheme by match Ing her bristling brick-red loclSs her ears like unto Japanese fans and set at an | angle of 45 degrees; her form may re-