davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Reddy Smith Chats On
One Who Has Worked

Sum women. Jimmie. sure do have
life easy, gaddin uhroun' to all de
stores in town by day. an gittln dere
husban's supper at night, or mebbe
even leavin' dat tn de maid. But, II
WI noterced de one dat jes passed,
yu'd soon fin out dat she amt dat
kim.
1 feels sorry fur hur, Jimmie.
KNOWN all dat she's hat tn stan
but she's arays got uh smile on hur
face an is jes as cheerful as tho she
got uhway frum hur wurk every day
instead Nv dis bein' de first time in
uh long while
She's got five children. Jimmie.
Five uf dem dat she's brought up
on jes what she earned. Sure, hur
husban's livin'. He's right in de
same house wild hur. She an him ur
all right, but he don't make morn
fifteen per an de bes' he can do Is
tn save uh little an de res goes In
rent
She takes In sowin'-has been dom
dat ever since dey wus married uver
twenty years uhgo, an sides all nur
housework an bringin' up dem KIDS
she pays fur de grub by her sow1n
tells yu, Jimmie, IT'S uh hard nte
she's got, but she alays has un smlhe
on hur face an pears 5es as happy
as tho she never had tn do uh bit Nv
work in bur life.
The Washington times., 1911-08-04

with his hand to soak the Ay. I cess,
and hit himself bang avn the Ease.
Benny and me got away down on the
floor so pop coodent see us in kase he
woak himself up by slapping himself the
way he did, and aftir a vile we herd
him snoaring agen.
He thinks he killed the fly sed Ben
ny. and l sed. But he dident, did he
and Benny sed. You bet he dident, and
he tlckiled him avn the noze agen.
Flies gentally get avn peepils nozes,
sed Benny, and I got to make this ny
ackt natcheril.
An Orfull Krack
Darn. sed pop. ony verse. and hit
himself avn the noze an orfull krack
and sat up still asleep and startid
reetching erround.
Good mite, sed Benny, and ran down
stares and pop grabbed me, thinking
1 was the i-y, CESS, and then he woak
up and sed. Wat in the naim Of kom-
min sense have you bin doing, and
sed. Nuthing, and neether I was be-
Klaus Benny was showing me about
fmaginashun and 1 wasent doing eny-
thing.
But pop fOwnd the strawr avn his
necktye. ware Benny dropped It, so
then sumthing happined to me and I
moo It wasent fly awl rite.
The Washington times., 1911-08-04

among those present. and she tickled
me exceeding much by accepting my
kind invitation"
Everything was just too luvuIy for
words, as the deah girls say. fished
a hammock from among a lot OF old
things around at the house and
strung 1t up for Juliet as soon as I
found nice shady spot. Juliet in a
hammock looking up at the bluine
sky and me swinging her! Oh. go
on. you!
At last l scraped up nerve enough
to say. Wonder If there's room for
two in that hammock rs it strong
enough?" says Juliet, and 1 assured
her that TWENTY-FIVE people had once
sat in that ha- mock all in a row.
climbed In. R-rip! Rip! Bang!
landed on the right-hand corner Of
my left ear. Though Juliet didn't k.-ss
herself, her hair came down, and X
anything distresses female more
than having her hair come down I've
never been introduced to it. And Juliet
hasn't spoke to Sluggie since!
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Suggesting a Change

You walked in about twenty min
utes before everything was ready for
the reception. You sailed about sug
gesting a change in the lighting and
q slight modification in the position
of the punchbowl. Then you spied
the hostess piece de resistance. The
mantel and mirror in the library were
covered with crimson ramblers. 1t
was the result of a careful and
thoughtful effort on the part Of the
giver of the party. She had to re-
gard pocketbook, the effect OF the
flowers with the wallpaper, and the
amount Of homegrown material at
her disposal with which she could eke
out the florists limited and expensive
greeneries.
You think a festoon hanging too
far over the mirror could be draped
back to advantage. Gratefully, your
hints are accepted.
After you have run home and gotten
into your best clothes, you come back
prepared to earn new laurels. Your
tired but bravely smiling hostess
hears you tell a guest, whom she is
anxious to impress, that you de
signed the rambler arrangement she
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
THE STAGE DOORKEEPER

II see" said the stage-struck youth,
that Gaby DesIys is comm over to
these shores in the fail and let US get
n slant at the pulChritude that put
little Manuel. the POrtugee kid. on
the blink"
''Surest thing you know" said the
stage doorkeeper, as he sWatted
nv which was becoming too familiar
with his face "Gaby will be here on
the lob and at the rate of four thou
n week l imagine that she will have
to hire q motor truck to cart her
earnings down to the dock when she
gets ready to go back.
She'll Be Mitted
She'll be mitted by a lot of society
folks Just as though she never had
a breath Of scandal near her. It's a
way they have, and anybody who's
been the Cozy little playmate of a
kink can count on getting a warm
reception. It sure would have been a
great piece Of york If the manager
could have booked Manuel for forty
weeks. Say, If he ever blew into the
theatrical game he could fill Madison
SQUARE Garden twice a day for a year.
Just imagine, royalty doin' two a day.
Wouldn't the gang fall for il? But l
guess Manuel will stick around in the
BACKGROUND, and they do say there is
some chance of Gaby financing lit
tie revolution with view of getting
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
SHE HOLDS IT UP TO THE
APPROPRIATIVE WOMAN

her corns, she burns with indignation
at your appropriation. Under her
breath, she calls you a name that
function were she to speak 1t aloud.
The crimson rambler decoration would
be pale and uninteresting in COM
parison!
But you have not done with your
nabbing. Some one mentions the
safe bestowal of an INDECENT invalid
in a home. And you smile and grab
the credit. It does not matter to you
that a young woman who was self
supporting had carried the burden Of
the invalid for over a year. You gave
a card party and started the fund
that finally secured the stricken one
refuge. And you take all the credit.
A Corroding, Cankering Creature
You are a corroding, cankering
creature. You make those who con-
scientiously endeavor to do their duty
wonder whether 1t is worth while
when you snatch all the glory. There
are mighty few of US big enough and
brave enough to be patient and in
dependent OF reward. II a means of
elimination would be evolved that
might be embraced without too much
FISK, you would be made way with
instantly. For you goad good people
into a frenzy of irritation. You dis
courage halfway good people by i'm
pressing them with the fact that you
get credit without working for II
and they can, too.
It's such a nasty, hateful, crawling
under the tent way. you have. You are
q human cuckoo, letting some one
else have the trouble of building the
nest which you sneak into and ap-
propriate when they leave 1t for
second unguarded. One longs for q
bean shooter.
The Washington times., 1911-08-04

watery appearance of your eyes.
Nothing simpler
Il hope you can help me. sir" said
the milkman, gloomily.
It's ink spots, sir, black ink spots.
Br-r-r, ink spots. oh-h-h, black ink
spots. I'm afraid it is the work of the
horrible black hand. When l wake in
the morning 1 find my clothing covered
with black ink spots; cannot look at
the ground without finding black
ink spot at my feet. Br-r-, ink spots"
The great detective leaned over, and,
tickling the milkman jocularly in the
ribs, whispered something in his ear.
In half a second the look of depres-
sion on the milkmans face gave way to
an expression OF profound relief. What
the great detective whispered was:
Your fountain pen leaks"
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Loretta's Looking Glass

is admiring. Gall and wormwood
mingle with the small talk the hostess
is dispensing. She hears you appro-
priating her brains and work. All
her originality is calmly 'cribbed."
She listens while the one to be i'm
pressed SAYS: Il thought I detected
YOUR clever touch"
Standing upon her aching feet.
made more achingly awful by the as
ISOLATED and sympathetic strike Of all
The Washington times., 1911-08-04

It is not the silver that you con-
fiscate. Nor do you absorb the
= Cluny doiiies into your beadbag.
1t is the CREDIT that you ap-
propriate.
King Lear has given the world some
good words to hurl at the thankless
child. But had he known you, his
invective would have chosen you for
its inf1aming aim. Instead of COM
pairing you to the stinging bite Of
the serpents tooth, he would have
summoned adjectives descriptive Of
the kangaroo-like leaping of q
molar's jumping ache.
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
COT REVENGE

"1 had such a good time the other
dav watching my wife's discontinue. "
Mice thing to say. How was it?'
''she is so hard and fast about her
rules about the house-won't even
allow me cigarette. Well. the
chimney began in the morning and
smoked all day in spite of her"
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Our Grocery Clerk
Says He's the Goat

The grocery clerks held their an
nual picnic yesterday. and of course
I got the afternoon of I asked the
beautiful cashier If shed like to b
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Wireless Smiles
From Everywhere
HE DOUBTED 1T

The Stranger-Are you quite sure
that was a marriage license you
gave me last month?
The Oficial-Of course! What's
the matter?
The Stranger-well, I've lived a
dogs life ever since
The Washington times., 1911-08-04

only en
OF hates shop in hot weather and she
puts and puts off until bargain days actual drives
crowded ses of
weary clerks quiver
trouble
echo Oh every side.
Have No System
Simply along the hot
shops planned system buying and
have stopped remember that hundreds of harassed
shoppers have been before and that kindness and patience
behind the whom
of the business hours
question of charity her that
would that irritable of discomfort of guilty
allowed their the better of
would the introduction of system into shopping
why the highest floor
you visit buy everything need there then down
and
irritable
thinking much of the heat
Mha yOuC for regardless Of anything else
a did that the arragnment OF the
would have that Of truth to sting would it?
would husband weary Of days work in the office, find
shry all her troubles
woud-bu why We all know what such of affairs
would mean-why it?
Prove that we are good shoppers bargain seekers
The Washington times., 1911-08-04

bein' could have quarter
yellow pad and pencil he gave and started in
"Ah hah! thinks here's where bargain" and
down. arrived Safe for that's all wanted tell her. and
the How much for
"a quarter" he says Gust the same"
Just One Would Cost Quarter, Too
What" quarter for words and for
"Exaly, said the and wnked Dora didn't
about kilograms than did, though she ggged
invented the things when the wnked her He
of fellow.
Well, then says "11 get words in break pencil
SO Dear mother, ! arrived safe
chickens and eggs"
That's eleven the One many
know but let that little is after Dora in for
noth can't the railroads don't charge
under three Is it's ony the railroads
it, big telegraph comp'ny like this can" says.
Blu he al though
plain enough and lon time and Dora
the ony word could think
short without poin the the telegram
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Loves Young Dream

Does your husband like your cook
ing?"
-"Oh, excessively. He declares he
could never get tired of eggs the way
1 boil them"
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Reeled From a
Film of Wit
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY

Madame Tetrazzini," we learn from
a recent issue of The Express, sang
The Last Pose of Summer. Seeing
that in recent years summer has posed
as winter, we are glad to gather that
there Is to be an end of this.-Punch.
The Washington times., 1911-08-04

ORlNG women's demand for the vote and declar-
ing that until woman proves her efficiency in her
own fields she had best keep out of politics,
man, who for his sake l will not name, de-
clared the other day that women are born shop
pers, yet buy without system, without regard to
time or money conditions, and that the average
woman, especially in the summer time, reveals her
lack of competency more in the aisleS OF the shop
than she does the political platform.
It's rather a sweeping arraignment. isn't it?
Yet the whole it is full of truth not to sting
even the anti-suffragists, for it does if in
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
The Ink Spot Case;
Or, 'Tis to Giggle
Iilkman" " invited

BE seated, Mr.. Milkman," invited
the great detective. Il see the ques-
tion in your face; how do I know you
are a milkman? By the weak and
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Convincing Arpument

Sir, am soliciting advertise
ments."
Young man. my time is valua ble."
Advertise with me and your time
will be so rushed with trade that
your time will be twice as valuable"
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Tough As Ever

They say that all our food is adul-
terated."
Maybe so. But whatever they put
into this steak hasn't weakened 1t
any"
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Sufficient Reason

When you saw that beastly COW,
Why didn't you drive her out of my
garden?"
We'll. you see, sir. your garden
vas in the cow"
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
His Comment

Sunday School Teacher-Yes, Willie,
the Lord loves every living creature.
willie-I'n bet he was never stung by
bee.
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
He Objected

Il wish our dreams came true"
Not me. / usually have Welsh
rabbits for supper"
The Washington times., 1911-08-04

Ellie, did you ever have to write a telegram !
wrote the other day, and though l realize that
without kilograms might never learn that baby
has another tooth, or that uncle congratuates US
birthday, even if he didn't send present,
in the future from wrtn' any of em.
| wrote my telegram when | went to see
Dora Williams at Greatview. Every time l ride on
train somepin' tells mother that the locomotive
is goin' to trip its wheels and drag
erybody especially me, into the river. So l told
her Id send her a telegram as l got to
Greatvew
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
In Ouackland

Mr.. Drake-Gee, this soup is hot!
Mr.. Quack-Yes; they season II
with fireflies.
The Washington times., 1911-08-04
Wants To Be Shown

"Of course it may be true that there
was nOthin' but platonic friendship be-
tween Nanny and Gaby, but I'll have
to he shown, for I think that's a small
matter TO kick a king out Of his own
house, not givin' him time to dress for
company But the Americans will be
glad TO see Gaby just the same And
faint shadows Of suspicion that may
have hovered near her will disappear
and the box office man will have to
massage the cramps out of his fingers
from countin' money. The heroine Of
any big scandal is bound to be a
DRAWN card, and I Just weep when
think that there was no enterprisin'
manager to sign UP Delilah for forty
weeks"
The Washington times., 1911-08-04

him back on the throne. But from
his pictures 1 don't think that he is
such a much. and l wouldn't be sur
prised # after she's been over the
circuit here, she'll make up her mind
that a mining man or a Wall street
shark with a roll like a mahogany
log looks better than a twenty-five
Caliher king out OF a job
I'm hopin' she brings that famous
rope OF pearls. l heard the other day
that they are as big as walnuts and
that she has to take Gods liver oil to
get strength enough to carry 'em
around
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-30
SPAIN TRYING To
KEEP GOOD FAITH
By Associated Press.

By Associated Press.
LISBON. July 2e,-Spain II taking
measures TO break up the moncharist
preparations in Galicia Spain, which are
being made against the republic OF Portu
gal and, as the Portuguese government
now believes. Will endeayor in good faith
TO disperse the monerchist recruits. con-
nscate their supplies OF arms and prevent
the organization OF raid into Portugal.
Foreign Minister Machado stated today
that these assurances had been received
from the Spanish government and added:
Madrid has for some time consid cred
the Portuguese monarchists In Spain near
the border as jnoffensive persons. merely
finding an asylum from the troubles In
their own country Now Spain Is con-
hostilities against the republic. thus mis-
using tho privileges OF the asylum
Whenever the Portuguese arc foHnd
government TO remove to the interior. OF
Spain. The civil guard on the Galician
boundary has been Increased by about
1000 men and Is cooperating with the
Portuguese troops against persons who
cannot satisfactorily explain their rea-
sons for crossing the line"
Replying 10 an Inquiry ns to why It was
thought necessary 10 have 10000 Portu-
guese troops on the northern boundary.
while further reinforcements are being
sent out. the minister said that the gov
regular communication between and sep
arate completely the conspirators without
from the conspirators within the republic.
Asked how long the newspaper CORE
spondents who have gathered here from
other countries would have 10 walt prob
ably for the projected Invasion. Scnor
Machndo replied with some feeling.
''If you wait for that. you will die here
The monarchists have no program and
do not represent national aspiration, The
monarchy is dead and is kept in Its cof-
fn by the lively recollection OF tho people
OF Its incapac!tics. corruption, squander
lngs and duh utilities No, Portugal has
Ind enough OF the select unit
The minister said he was pleased that
the United States hnd been the first
power TO give full recognition 10 the
public. No other power, he added, has
yet done this.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-30
UTAH CROPS LEAD;
HARD HIT ELSEWHERE
Special to Tho Tribune.

Special to Tho Tribune.
NEPH1. July 29.-Superintendent Sal
mon Of the United States experiment sta
tion at Newell. s. d, was in Nephi last
week visiting the experiment station and
looking over the crop conditions. He was
highly pleased with the conditions and
thought the crops exceptionally good
According TO the statement made by
Mr., Salmon. the western part of South
Dakota and portions OF Nebraska and
Kansas are, passing through a severe
drought and he Expressed the opinion
that the crops would be practically n fail
ure, as there had been no rain or mois-
ture Of any kind for ten months until
recently.
DIR. n. L. Shantz. Lyman ], Briggs and
Thomas H Kcarney OF the United States
agricultural department at Washington,
n. C., are expected here next week To
visit the experiment station and 10 make
a study of the agricultural conditions.
II is understood that the iourlshing con-
dition OF the crops throughout the state
has brought them here. as they arc anX =
ious TO find out what is responsible for
the promising outlook. They will take
back with them specimens of Utahs agri-
cultural products.
County Superintendent Ivan C, Dalby
has been conducting the teachers exami- =
nation for Juao county the past three
dayS
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-30
Notes Are Charged Back.

The bill then alleges that thoreafteI
the Continental bank caused TO he re
turned and charged back to the Com
mercial bank. certain Of the notes SO
iudorsed. as follows;
Eureka Land 6 Livestock company
note for $4,000; C. D. Porter ct al
note for 1870; O. j. and b. b. L.
Smith, note for $4,000; C. d. Porter,
note for $500; Smith Bros, note for
$1,000; o. j. Smith, note for S4500. That
said defendants allowed credi. to said
Continental National bank from tho
funds Of said Commercial National
bank for the full value and accrued in
tercst of all Of said notes so returned,
1t is then charged upon information
and belief that said notes are uncol-
lcctable.
The defendant directors are then
charged with having for period of
more than two Yoars preceding the e1.
piration Of the charter of the CONNER
cial bank with having conducted its
business Gin negligent. unsafe and
unauthorized manner, and in violation
of said bank S charter and of their
trust to stockholders Of said bank
The bill then goes on to state that
tho directors made loans TO individuals.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-30
YOUNG CALIFORNIAN
CUTS A DASH ABROAD
Minus Cash, He Boards Steam
ship and Works Upon sympa-
thy of Fellow Passengers.
BEAUTIES SEEK HIS FAVOR
Short but Meteoric Career of AL
fred o. Blumenthal in Lon
don and Paris.
~ Leased Wire 10 The Tribune

BY Leased Wire 10 The Tribune
PAR1S. July ga successful demon.
stration OF a new and artistic method OF
up-to date finance has been given in
London and Paris by diminutlve Call
fornian. Alfred G. Blumenthal. who after
cutting sensational dash. has left for
home.
Blumenthal is the son OF a butcher or
San Rafael. near San Francisco. He has
shown tendency to shine as a brilliant
meteor among the theatrical stars since
lie had the first taste Of Bohemian life
with Maud Allen, the dancer who was
visiting her family, the Durants. In San
Francisco.
On his latest tr1p 10 Europe Blumen-
thai boarded the steamship Amerika with
out ticket or money. and. when told
he could return with the pilot without
the sympathy Of fellow passenger. who
csshed one OF the ESQ drafts Blumenthal
had with him.
This ena bled BlumonthaI 10 90 to Lon
don There ne was much remarked upon
on account of his devoted attention 10
Edna Goodrich. who divorced Nat c.
Goodwin.
Blumenthal's entertainments were ex-
;raNagant and he always was seen in
ordinarily unobtainable places in the the
atsrs.
The Savoy hotel found itself the un-
willing host at all OF Blumenthal's en-
tertainments, for his bills were unpaid
Blumenthal came TO Paris. where he con
Quoted a competitive campaign between
Of the little Californian became so in
tense that the mothers OF the two ac-
tresses Joined in the contest. so Bumep-
thai sailed forth. adored by the two
stage beauties and armed with a foun-
tain pen and check book
His checks were not paid and the Hotel
Chatham and the Chateau De Madrid
pounced on him TO pay Things looked
black for the soldier Of romance. when. II
is said. Henry Ach, California lawyer
went TO Blumenthars rescue and ar
ranged matters SO he could leave for
home
When Mr.. Ach was seen today he sald
he was not in a position to discuss the
affair
Elsie Janis and Edna Goodrich now dis
claim acquaintance with their friend.
Blumenthal
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-07-30
Special to The Tribune.

special to The Tribune.
OGDEN. July 2e.-But one more day.
and the Utah Chautsuqua assembly
which began at Ogden nine days ago
VIII come TO close. On the eve OF the
closing patrons Of the Chautauaua were
given one OF the best programmes OF the
assembly
The national pegeants in which the
scotch. Welsh, Swedish. Norwegian and
Japanese people gave their national
dances and an open air exhibition OF the
games and fancy drills peculiar to the
customs Of their parent country ex-
cited the admiration of q crowd OF spec
tators which numbered close TO 1000 peo-
pie
The grand pageant of nations began
at 80 o'clock and lasted until early
evening. The Thistle and the Gale
donlan societies of Salt Lake City
arrived here on an early train and pa
raded the streets In the national cos
TUNES 10 the music from a band Of bag
pipes The Scottish societies of Ogde
ne Gronies. Royal Hishlanders and the
countrymen and marched to Glenwood
where all participated in the fancy
dances and musical programme given by
the Scotch people
>, AT the afternoon session DR. Aked
discussed that portion of the Lord s
PRAYER Give us this day our daily
bread. cxpoundins In his illuminating
style the various views of the theolo-
sians as 10 the Significance OF this pass
liVered an address on the Cost OF LIB
erty," holding that IFS preservation had
cost more human lives than all other
causes combined DIR. .Aked delivered
topic being "The Strongest Man on
Earth"