davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-08-21
DRINKS ACID BY MISTAKE.
Man Takes Draught of Poison for
Cough Medicine.

Mistaking a small vial of muriatic
acid for cough medicine, Harold B. Isley,
Of so Eighth street southeast, swallowed
a small quantity of the poison yesterday
before he realized his error.
Isley was severely burned about the
mouth and throat by the poison. He was
taken to the Casualty Hospital, where.
after receiving treatment. he was able
to go to his home.
The Washington herald., 1911-08-21
LOCAL MENTION.
EXCURSIONS TO-DAY.

Norfolk and Washington Steamboat Company
steamers from foot Of Seventh street for Old Point
Comfort and Norfolk daily at SIS o. m
Steamer Charles Manchester leaves Seventh street
wharf for Indian Head forty-mile moonlight at
p. M.
Steamer Charles Macalessez for Mount vsrno.
snd Marshall Hall leaves Seventh street wharf at u
Q. N. and 80 p m. daily. exceps Sunday.
Steamer Queen Anne leaves Seventh street wharf
on forty-mile moonlight trip at D. m.
Cars from Fifteenth street and New York ayenus
ere.y quarter hour for main entrance Zoo PARK
Chevy Chase. and Kensingtou.
wnhingtoa. Baltimore and Annapolis Electric
Railway operates sixtythres limited trims each day
between Washington and Baltimore, leaving FIJI
teenth street and New York avenue on the hour
and half hour. Also trains to Annapolis i've min
utes after the hour.
Cans from 18th and b streets northeast direct e
National Training School and Bladsnsbury
Chenpeaks Beach train schedule in rsilroad column
Take New York avenue COLUMBIA Line) street ear
For additional information phone Lincoln le2oL
To Great Falls and the Camp Meeting -Grsat Falls
and Old Dominion Railroad cars every few minute
from Thirty-sitth and u strectA
The Washington herald., 1911-08-21
The MT. VERNON and MARSHALL HALL
STEAMBOAT CO., LTD.
TAKE
The Great Falls and
Old Dominion
FOR
Great Falls

Dustless - -Noiseie~s-Standard Rails
and New Coaches.
RAPID SERVICE,
The Washington herald., 1911-08-21

Are You Using Dr.. schinSIssss Pesnu,
on Buttsrt 1oo q Greeeg9s
The Washington herald., 1911-08-21

Foundi wheref whof See Thursday's
paper for his photo. Electric Webster
The Washington herald., 1911-08-21

Kedsks, DeveIoping, and Printing.
Columbia Photo supply Co. 1884 N. Y. q,
The Washington herald., 1911-08-21

A feller kin have tn swelled
head an still wear a number six
hat.
When you see three men in
buggy it's a cinch they're full.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01
NOTHING BUT THE DEAR OLD
DOLLAR.

What can wash away my need?
Nothing but the dear old dollar.
What can buy a bang-up feed?
Nothing but the dear old dollar.
Chorus:
Oh, watch, the dollars flow!
No other power I know
Can make the old mare GO
Nothing but the dear old dollar.
What can fill a man with pride?
Nothing but the dear old dollar.
For what cause have all men lied? :
Nothing but the dear old dollar.
Nothing can buy automobiles,
Nothing but the dear old dollar.
Big stink-wagons with rubber
wheels,
Nothing but the dear old dollar.
What a give a man a chance?
Nothing but the dear old dollar.
What makes some outgrow their
pants?
Nothing but the dear old dollar.
JAMES LARKIN PEARSON.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01
AGENTS WANTED.

/ want to employ One Thousand
Agents to work for me, taking sub
scriptions for The Fool-Killer. If
you are a good talker, and want to
make from So to SIS every day right
plum easy, Just sit down and write
to me for Agents Terms, Sample
Copies, Order Blanks, ETC., and get
to work. You can work all or part
time and make big wages. Address:
The Fool-Killer, Moravian Falls,
North Carolina.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01
CASTLE GATES"
By James Larkin Pearson,

The above is the title Of a little
Book of Poems by your humble ser
want. My spare moments for the past
Is years have been spent in writing
the book. I also printed it and bound
it in cloth with my own hands. The
book has 108 pages, and contains SO
poems, all Of which are said to be
very good. Price so cents, postpaid.
JAMES LARKIN PEARSON.
Moravian Falls, n. C.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01
WHAT THE MOONLIGHT DID.

t& E
My desk was piled high with pa
pers-papers filed with cheap slush
that other men had written. They
have been accommodating for weeks.
At first / tried to wade through 'em
in the hope of finding a stray morsel
OF thought for my hungry intellect
to whet it's tushes on. But if all
the original thought ! found in the
whole bunch of them had been
dynamite it wouldn't have blown the
buttermilk off of a cats whiskers.
| tried to bunker down beside that
pyramid of exchanges and carve out
a few chunks of Sassy Talk-the
kind that makes people just uncover
each other to read The Fool-Killer.
But | couldn't write a line fit to
print. The psychological thought
waves from that pile of dull ex-.
changes seemed to addle my brain
made me feel sorter like a humble
bee in a Jug, or words to that effect.
So l kicked the whole mess into a
corner and walked out under the
open sky.
This is the eighth day of July.
That's a lie-its night. Nearly bed
| time, at that. The moon hangs up
yonder. Big and round and yellow
tonight the moon is. I like to look
at the moon on such a night as this.
Seems like big fat thoughts come
sliding down those little beams and
lodge in. a fellows think-box without
any trouble hardly.
The cool night breeze has famed
the fever from my brow, and / can
think again. Next time / want in
SEPARATION I will not go into a stuffy
Office and bury myself in a pile OF
exchanges will go out into the
friendly moonlight and talk to the
stars and the night-things, and gel
my mental battery charged with the
vitalizing forces OF Gods big, roomy
out-of-doOrs.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01
SUBSCRIBE FOR
sTHE BIG PISTOL.

The Famous Rascal Killer of the
Age. Every shot hits the center Of
the blackness of all social and polit-
ical sins and shams. Every chamber
loaded with fire and birthstone, and
shot of monthly for Is cents a year.
Address: THE BIG PISTOL,
CamptOn, KY.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01
RELIGION, AND so FORTH.

There. now, buddy, don't let your
little thinkery harbor the idea that
Pearson is opposed to religion. I
wish to goodness we all had about
ten times as much as we've got, pro-
vided it was the right kind. A re-
ligion that car take an old soggy sin
ner and make a decent critter out
of him-that kind of religion is worth
having, and L wish 1 had about forty
carloads of it to distribute here in
this country.
When l go to the big meeting and
see half a dozen of the sisters get
happy and go half-hammering around
over the house, shaking their bustles
and rats loose and beating the men in
the back, l can't help wondering how
long it will be before they will be
out among the tattlers repeating
some nasty lie about somebody.
If they've got the real article they
won't do it. But the devil has got SO
much cheap imitation religion float
ing around these days that it pays
a-body to keep their eyes open. The
devil often has a finer label On his
canned religion than the Lord has on
His, but there's a big difference when
you open the can. The people have
been humbugged with the devils re-
liglon so much that they are begin
ming to distrust the whole thing. II
isn't right nor fair, but what are you
going to do about it?
Hanged if there amt something
terribly out of joint about all this
religion business, anyhow. / know
plenty of old rich church members
They live in fine houses, and have
money to throw at the birds. AnG
they allow members of their owI
church to live right in their yards
almost, and suffer for food and cloth.
Ing. And they wouldn't give then
ten cents to save them from the no
place.
What's the matter?
Is it on account of the low-dow1
dishonesty of the poor brother, or il
1t the Internal hoggishness Of tn.
rich brother? Or is it both? VIII.
isn't there a more helpful and broth
erly spirit existing among churcl
members? Why? Why? And ech'
ansWers-Why?
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01
The Cornish Bond Protects You

and holds us strictly to
this offer. You are to have
the privilege Of any terms
OF payment that you may
choose. You risk nothing.
We assume all re-
spOnsibility, because
we know all about the
great beauty Of material
and workmanship In Cor
nfsh pianos and organs and
we know all about the
pure, sweet, rich tone
quality OF our instruments
and we know what q
quarter of q million
satisfied purchasers
think Of them.
If you keep the instru-
ment It will cost You the
Bottom Factory
Price, not one cent more,
and you will receive with
It our Bonded Guar
ante0 which ENSURES the
instrument for I'd years
against defect In material
or workmanship.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01
ARE YOU GOING TO GET MAR
RIED2

/ am always as full of advice as a
dog is of 1eas, and while / think of
it l will just reel Off a few hanks of
advice to the young man who con-
templates slipping ove to one side
of the bed, adding another pillow
and getting his mouth full of long
golden hair.
You may not have noticed it.
young man, but her dress fastens at
the back. She can't reach it very
we'll, and you will have to fasten it
for her. 1t is always a good idea to
practice on a dummy awhile before
you tackle the real thing.
l would advise you to purchase
from some large dress-making es-
tablishment or clothing store one of
those bulgy ladies who have neither
head nor legs, known as dummies or
dress-forms. Then steal out n of
your mammy's old dresses, Tor your
sisters if you have a sister,, and
each morning practice fastening it
up and down the back.
Set it in a rocking chair, so that
it will wiggle, and then see if you
can get the right button into the
right hole. When you can do this
about once in four times, have the
buttons changed to a size just too
large for the button-holes, and be-
| gin all over again. If fairly clever
at this, try a row of hooks and eyes
invisible to the naked eye. Then sub
stitute for the metal eyes a few loops
of thread well lost in a jungle OF
lace.
Do not use a strong light, for you
will often have to perform in the
twilight or the early morning. Speed
is very necessary, and there should
be a few needles and pins stuck int
the garments at unexpected places.
At first you can use the Language
that comes handy but gradually this
should be discontinued and replaced
with something less offensive.
When you are able to pass through
this ordeal successfully, fastening
the, dress on straight in three min
utes without cnssing, then it will b
reasonably safe to have the papers
drawn up and send for the preacher
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01
Club Rates!
In Clubs ef Five, l5c 4 Year.

The price of single subscriptions to The Fool-Killer is Is cents a year,
but if you will get several of your friends to 81 in with you and send in a
club of five Or more 1T one time. you can all get the paper at Is cents a
year. The FoolKiner is creating great excitement wherever it ig intro
duced and it now goes into every State in the Union. Join the army of
club-raisers. Do it now. Address:
THE FOOL-KILLER, MORAVIAN FALLS, \. C.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01

.aThe Life of Nasmi wise,'' trse story of
the wrongs of a beautiful girl and how she was
killed by Jonathan Lewis in Randolph county,
A masterpiece of passionate. and thrilling In
terest. We include the song of NAOMI Wise"
with the book which is neatly printed and sub
stantially bound, all sent postpaid for 12c with
: e. ?. NzWsUM 1 co., KING. N. G.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01

A man 70 years old married a girl
aged 20 and decided her 500 acres of
land. Then she had plenty of ground
for divorce.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01
Cornish Book

Send For The New Cornish Book
Don't think Of buying before reading It. It fs the
handsomest piano and organ catalog ever issued. It
explains things you ought to know whether you buy
for 1t now and please mention which you are inter-
ested in-piano or organ.
Cornish %. s...si'.s.. IS. az !. e =; I;
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01

The strongest argument that I
know of against Christian Science is
the fact that Dick Maple has en-
dorsed it.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01

l have on hand a great big cOllec-
ton of dandy good letters that I aim
to print in next issue. Didn't have
room for them this time.
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01

II the instru.
.ment does not
prove better
va1u g for the
money than you
can ge t any.
where else-ifi it
Is not as good an
instrument q
you can buy for
One-third more
than we ask-if
at any time
within q y e
you feel that
you have not q
good bargain,
send 1t back; we
won't find one
word Of fault
with your de.
cisi0n, and you
will not be one
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01

Bill Saunders says, in his Down
Homer. THE more we learn the less
We know Law sakes, Bill, what
an awful heap you must have
learned!
The fool-killer., 1911-07-01

When a man has lost anything,
everybody he meets wants to know,
Where did you lose it," Now amt
that a pretty fool question? If the
fellow knew where he lost It he
would not be hunting in a hundred
different places for it,
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-02-20
1AYears Ago To-
From The Herald OF n2V
This Date 1897

E. Salich. Of Eddy. is in town.
The grand jury has resumed its ses-
sions
Charlie Newman is recovering from
his serious illness.
Mining interests at and about Sierra
Blanca are looking up.
W. W. Mills and wife left this after
noon on a Washington trip.
The fire department horses have been
provided with new stall partitions
Miss Pearl Rose has returned from
Chicago after an IS months absence.
District court adjourns tomorrow for
the term, and judge Buckler will next
hold court at BarstOw.
DR.. A f. Brown and Mrs. r. A. Will
son have bought lots l to D, block 15S,
CampbelTs addition, al private sale.
DR.. w. J. Jones has gone to Sonora
to act as physician for the Cleveland
Moctezuma Mining company at Lap
paZos.
A boy riding a bicycle was run over
last evening on San Antonio street by
H. c. Myles's buggy, which was Gr1ven
by a Mexican.
The local talent to participate in 'Th'
Merry Cycler." the sparkling operetta
Ito be given in the opera house March
l. is practicing diligently.
Capt W. H. Long, of Ell Paso com
pany of uniformed rank, Knights Of
Pythias. has been promoted to be major
aid aide to Brig. Gen. Hopkins.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-02-20

ways a source OF annoyance to Cana
dians, but the dominion has adjusted
itself to the situation and IT is no
longer a major question except when
the religious. racial or sectional as
pect becomes prominent. The French
speaking people have the balance Of
political power and will hold it for
many years to come 1t is certain that
they viii use it TO perpetuate their
language as the equal Of English, and
Canada viii remain officially and ac-
tually a biHngual nation.
Meanwhile. the existence Of this Pc
culiar circumstance makes all talk OF
annexation TO the United States alb
surd, and should al1ay the alarm OF
those British imperialists who fear
that the growing commercial friend
illness OF the United States and Canada
may some day lead into political union.
The United States tOlerates no for
eign language, the French-speaking
people Of Canada know IL, and that is
one reason why Uncle Sam is not near
" as popular north of the Great Lakes
as he sometimes imagines he is.
TOmorrow-The Grits and the Tories.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-02-20
S6"HE butcher boys here, ma'am,"
announced Della. He wants
1-Or,r

S6T1HE butcher boys here, ma'an,' y
announced Della. He wants
your order"
well, tell him We are not going TO
order anything today. I want you 70
make some croquettes out OF the lamb
we had left from last night"
But there amt enough" objected
Della
Yes there is-we'n make it do some
how
Della went grumbling back into the
kitchen to yell down the dumbwaiter
that they didn't want nothing today.
The strict economies which Helen
was practicing now had not met with
the approval of Della Nothing was
left over for her to take home. or TO
give to the milk man, with whom she
was much enamored. Every bit OF cold
meat or vegetable was carefully put
away by Helen TO be used in some dish
for the next day.
If she could help Warren in no other
way. Helen resolved that at least she
would help him by reducing the house
hold expenses SO she saved and
scrimped in every way possible. Milk,
ice butter eggs. everything was or
dered in smaller quantities and closely
watched to determine on just how little
they could get along.
Warren had redeemed her rings, and
had brought them to her with curt
warning never to do anything so fool
ish again"
He had offered no further infOrma-
ton as to how he was to meet his debt.
And ne showed so plainly he did not
wish to be questioned that she was
forced TO remain silent
No Money to Pay Debts.
For several days she was able to pay
the current expenses herself. without
asking Warren for the money. But ut
length her limited resources were ex-
hausted.
They had been paying Della every
Saturday night: and when Saturday
morning. came Helen knew she did not
have the money herself, and Warren
did not mention it. Just as he was
leaving she said. hesitatingly:
"You know. dear. 1 always pay Della
on Saturdays"
well. can't you let it go this time
until Tuesday, III have the money
then"
ooh. yes: I'm sure she won't need it
before then. I'm sorry I have worried
you about such things now. dear. But
I didn't know what to do about it."
"Oh. that's all right" impatiently.
I'll have the money Tuesday, and you
won't have 10 put her off again"
After he was gone Helen began TO
wonder what she could say to Della
She certainly would not admit to her
that they did not have the money. And
yet what excuse could she make? She
decided to say nothing at all. in the
hopes that Della would let it go over
without question. Saturday and Sun
day passed without comment, but Mon
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-02-20
Married Life the Second Year
Mabe Herbert Urner On R h.s W1 @ a.s Ms Della

day morning Della asked for her
money
Mr.. Curtis must have forgotten to
leave it," Helen answered calmly. III
speak TO him about 1t tonight"
But Warren had said Tuesday ana
that meant Of course Tuesday night
Della must be put off one more day.
Tuesday morning. after Warren had
gone, Helen remarked carelessly:
Della, I forgot to ask Mr.. Curtis for
your money. but III certainly remem-
Der tonight"
With Big Sense of Relief.
That night Warren gave her the
money and she gave it TO Della with an
immense sense Of relief She had never
before owed servant and she devoted
" hoped she never would again Helen
had an innate horror Of debts OF any
kind.
The thought Of Warren owing money
he could not pay was always with her.
He had said he could hold the pay
ment Off" But the feeling that It was
hanging over him was intoIerable.
She had wild thoughts of dismissing
Della and doing the work herself But.
with the baby, that was impossible. So
all she could do was to keep the house
hold expenses as low as possible; and
this she did relentless1y.
But Warren did not take kindly to
warmed over roasts and lack of variety
in his food. Several times he had COM
planned, and she had replied evasively
that 1t was cleaning day" or ironing
day" and Della did not have time to
get much dinner She had wanted to
spare him the humiliation OF being re-
minded that it was necessary for them
to save now.
But that evening. when the lamb cro-
Ouettes were served WarraD Dushed
back his plate and flared out:
For goodness sake. can't we have
anything but stews and croquettes. and
warmed over roasts? What on earth Is
the matter with Della that she can't
give US a decent meaI?'
TT isn't Della. dear I've been trying
to keep the expenses down I thought
we should just now"
well. that's all right-but there's no
sense carrying a thing too far. We
haven't reached the stage where we
ed a few hundred of Dalton to tide me
over this. And I'll bring things around
all right in a month or So
Borrowed Of Daltoni oh. Warren,
how could you?"
Why not? What's wrong about
that?'
"Oh. I never wanted you to borrow
of any one You wouldn't let me help
you with my rings, and I'd a thousand
times rather do that than have you
borrow"
Leave This TO Me-, He Said.
We'll. I wouldn't All business men
borrow now and then; but they don't
pawn their wives rings. Now just
leave this to me. and don't be eternally
getting absurd ideas of things you
know nothing about
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-02-20
MEXICAN MATADOR
INJURED IN SPAIN
Gonzales Gored by Bull Is
Saved by Another Bull
Fighter.

Madrid, Spain, Feb. 2O.-Carlos Con
ZaIes. the celebrated Mexican bull
fighter, made his debut here yester-
day at Palaza Tetuan, and met with an
accident that caused much excitement
among large crowd Of spectators.
The first bull Gonzales was TO have
killed rushed him and caught him be-
tween its horns and threw him with
great violence The animal once again
rushed to him and was goring him
when another matador performed al
act called quit" which consisted in
drawing the bulls attention by dis
playing a red cape and then dispatch
ing the bull.
When done, this performance always
awakens the enthusiasm Of the spec
tators and men threw money. cigars
and other things 70 the second mata-
dor, while the women threw him flow
ers, fans and pieces OF jewelry. Con-
zales was not seriously hurt.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-02-20
SELL, "DYED" FISH
FOR SMOKED HERRING
Philadelphia Investigators
Find New Kind of Food
AdulteratiOn.

Philadelphia, Pa, Feb. 2O.-Phila-
delphia's campaign for pure food under
the leadership of Harry Cassidy, agent
of the dairy and food bureau of the
state agricultural department, has
taken a new angle by the discovery by
Cassidy of a large number of dell
catessan and other stores dealing IN
dyed" fish as a substitute for smoked
fish.
In smoking fish there is a loss of Is
pounds per hundred weight. but in dye
ing there is no loss at all. This permit
ted the violators of the law to under
sell the other company. Prosecution OF
certain wholesale dealers will be start
ed this week.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-02-20
Shall We Squelch Monroe Doctrine?

RTHUR E STTLWELL written Itwing give
a. promoter probably
peace original
credited originality for he is
country just
England Germany the other European
American republic that
appears o worth while
In peace
peace presidential suggests
against fighting,
nOnOOman
conflict before
establishing
anya appeal to sentiment, i probably
Hear him:
talw
@ aofPe % aaf the SG s Of @ 9
Monroe ne was peh o me 6 6ft D9 e U m
persons Goes not follow og
The Monroe
which would make them PsD and gow has
to continue fostering
s sFs9e nation " " comes under " Tag Of England Germany the United
new may but it is nightmare the husband
Bad manners are not half so great good society
perfect
The per capita ss448 against $3.50 in
spent automobiles Did get your n cents
worth
printed in the
he would be the most remarkable
quick change n world
before getting into
nOoety when the two
presidents
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-02-20
UN01MEA VARS Denatured Poem

ueiohbor which and far see
MI him mile, and OIL also see
- I'm
block My spenoO
begs-I with pride to fat legs
Therear better they bear me
down through crowded street ana
nean revolt, complain
not fill them up
gasoline around with wrench and maui to make the blame tng
do
they don't blow up stop they do not @
in victims down.
they do not honk hiss t0ot 90
brayey
GOOD fat legs that rde limbs car
beneath its load of idle rich until it dumps them the
dtcn.
,.,u-,-,, -, ~ a..r.. MATTHEW. .e.n. Da.AsR4e.>-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1911-02-20
BOILERMAKERS ON
N Y. CENTRAL OUT

Cleveland. O., Feb. 20.-A strike of
500 boilermakers on the New York
Central lines between Buffalo and Chi
cago occurred today. The strike is due
to dissatisfaction over the piece work
system.