davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09
BowsER, HE TELEPHONES.
And He Most Always Gets the Best
of It.

In the Bowser family Mrs. Bowser
most always does the telephoning, and
the central office has come to be her
friend, but there are occasions when
Mr.. Bowser takes a hand in it. When
these occasions arise it is a treat to
hear him. If the windows are up the
neighbors begin listening at the first
sound of his voice.
Mr.. Bowser comes home to dinner
and is told that he must drink tea, as
the grocer forgot to fill the order for
coffee That's an occasion.
Forgot the coffee. did he? Well,
we'll see about it I've been wanting
to talk to him for some time
But be gentle, pleads Mrs. Bow
ser. 4 heard that his wife fell down
stairs the other day
"Oh. I'll be gentlel I thought of
coffee all the way home, and now
there is none because he forgot Some
folks may stand it, but I'll be hanged
if I dor
Hello, there! That you, saund-
what is it2 What is it? I'll tell
you mighty soon what it is"
you don't catch me? Well, I'll
catch you before I'm donei''
"Stand back a little? I'll do nothing
of the sort. No man can make me
stand back"
who am I? I am Bowser. Get
that right into your head just as soon
as you can
busin ess. If you didn't learn to spell
at school I'm not going to play teacher
now
What am I roaring about? Say,
my friend, don't you get too gay with
mel Some men have done it and had
their necks broken. I'm speaking to
you about that coffee you didn't send
over Get that?'
mo one said coffins. I said coffee"
what about it? Why there's a
good deal about it. I've traded with
you about million dollars year for
the last ten years, but I'll never buy
another cents worth! Get that right
into your earl"
you say your wife fell downstairs?
What is your wife to me? I never even
saw her,
Upset, Ell? So am upset. Don't
try to plead that as an excuse. Mrs.
Bowser falls downstairs three times a
day but my bills are always paid every
Saturday afternoon. Coffee was order
ed of you at noon today, and it isn't
here yet. That settles it,
ooh, being sorry and making prom
ises for the future will do no good.
Coffee was ordered. No coffee came.
You have damaged me to the amount
of ten thousand dollars. Yes, sir-yes,
sir-and you and your old grocery can
go to bally-hack!'
And then Mr.. Bowser hangs up the
trumpet and swells out his chest and
tells Mrs. Bowser that when a man
sets out to bulldoze him that man
invariably gets the worst of it!
Mr.. Bowser gets m easured for some
shirts ant delivery is promised for
Wednesday afternoon at 4 O'Clock.
They are not to come one second later.
A point is made of this and thoroughly
understood.
On Wednesday afternoon Mr. Bow
ser arrives home at O'Clock. No
shirts
But you know you don't need
them" says Mrs Bowser.
It's another occasion. Mr. Bowser
rises to it.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09
"sience" CoIored Cop.

New York's lone colored police
man, Samuel J. Battle, of 27 West
136th street, has not grown less lonely
since he was assigned to duty the first
time at the West ty-eighth street
police station on June %. Ever since
his appointment there the big brawny
negro, who worked his way up from a
porter and waiter, through a comm on
and manual training school course un-
til he passed the civil service examina-
tion for policeman, has been treated
by his fellow policemen with great and
icy silence
There is, of course, no official dis
elimination against the colored pa
trolman, nor do the officers at the
station seem to encourage the silent
treatment of him. But the very fact
that a white policeman has nothing to
say to a colored policeman is not mat
ter for discipline at the hands of the
officers AS one of them said:
There isn't a captain or any other
official in the department who can
make one man talk to another or pun
ish a policeman for merely holding
his tongue"
Battle himself, according to Cap
tain Palmer, has never complained
that he was getting unfair treatment,
and the captain. as we'll as other Off
GERS at the station. denied that there
was any unfairness in the treatment
accorded him as policeman.
HE keeps to himself and reads pret-
ty nearly all the time ne is on reserve
said Captain Palmer, which the 9TH
er men while away the time in play
ing dOminoes, checkers. or handball,
and in taking shower baths in the eel
lar. I have several times stopped him
to inquire how he is getting on with
the other men, and whether he has
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

be hanged to you!"
What! What! What!'
''Say, Mrs. Bowser. that Internal
pirate says I'm a swindler and a
cheat"
''Yes, dear, but you are roaring" she
replies.
And you take my word for it that
I'll make that liar of a Gibbs roar be-
fore he is "a hours older! Lie about
my shirts and then call me a swind-
ler!"
There are times when Mr.. Bowser
leaves a pair of shoes at the cobbler's
to be repaired. He sets the day and
hour for them to be sent home. They
arrive 10 minutes late.
Young man. how is this?'' he
thunders at the boy who comes whist
ling along.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

any complaint to make against their
treatment of him. But each time he
told me had none.
OF course he explains, I don't
expect the men to talk to me and take
me in their arms as a brother.
HE is a good, sensible negro, and
his conduct is above reproach. / have
been able to discover nobody with
whom he has had a quarrel or disa-
greement or who has annoyed him.
Of course. what personal prejudices
there may be manifested toward him
He seems to know what he bargained
for in taking a place on the force. -
New York Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

The vaudeville show opening at the
Novelty Monday matinee, Septen1 ber
11th. will have five big acts and one
reel of moving pictures. The feature
of this bill will be the bewildering SEN
sation of the hour, Mercedes. present
ing an act that has startled and amaz-
ed the world. She will play any selec-
ton on the piano that the audience has
in mind without question. It is con-
sidered the only act of its kind in the
world. She will also answer questions,
call names and describe articles. AS
an extra added feature on this bill will
be Miss Orilla Barbee and Arthur Hill
& Co, in a little comedy sketch "A
Strenuous Day. and such a jolly
laughing act is seldom seen on the
vaud eville stage. There will be three
other acts which are: Nip and Tuck,
comedy acrobats; Andrew Toombs.
character com edian; and Sadie HeIf
the princess of Song
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09
CocIzroaches Rout Bathers

Swarms of cockroaches which
suddenly appeared in the waters at
Lynn and Swampscott beach made a
vicious attack on 1900 bathers, many
of whom were members of the North
Shore society set. The bathers start
ed for shore. but found themselves
surrounded by the insects.
Many of the bathers viii carry SOU
venirs of the bath for some time to
come. Where the bugs came from is
a mystery. The Metropolitan park
commissioners will take Immediate
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

Z
women lawyers to act as magistrates
in trying cases of children under thir-
teen.
A movement has been started in
Australia led by the printers, to en-
force six-hour daylight work day
for all female workers. The eight
hour is universal, and wage agree
ments are made in all trades. Equal
suffrage has prevailed in Australia the
past seventeen years
At the Moslem Congress recently
held in Egypt a discourse by one of
of the country was read. Among other
things. she asked for MOslem women
the right to attend prayers and SER
mons in the mosques; to have primary
education of young women made obli-
gatory; to admit young girls to the
schools Of medicine; to use practical
means to reduce polygamy and the
needlework, housekeeping, and hy-
giene.
Some welI-meaning woman who
writes as if she were more addicted to
bridge than to housekeeping or
civics, has written that women ought
to be taught housekeeping instead of
having the vote given them. Alice
Stone Blackwell has written in an
swer: One of the first things the wom-
en- of Norway did with the ballot was
for domestic training for girls. In
Idaho woman suffrage has led to the
addition of d department of domestic
science to the state university. In
Finland, one of the noteworthy re-
forms undertaken by women has been
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09
At the Novelty.
Vaudeville.

''Norwood's Great Sensations" are
coming. The Norwoods are the worlds
favorites and kings of hypnotisrn, men
tai telepathy mind readers and con-
Querors of electricity, the people who
possess the highest occult power. who
carry their suggestions out in the most
forms and who manage to extract out
of every situation more fun that will
last an average man week of steady
laughter. 1t simply ripples from one
point to another during the entire
evening Their work is marvellous.
They have a novelty this year in using
very elaborate costumes for different
scenes. It is an original idea of the
NorwOods and something never at
tempted by other companies of this
character.
They will be at the Grand next week.
NIcLain Gates will play the part of
Captain sand, in Miss Hobbs" the
North Bros. bill at the Majestic next
week, because he drew the longer
straw. The company has one more
man than is needed for the cast. Grif-
fin Barnett and Mr. Gates were can
didates for the role of the captain.
The matter was settled by q drawing
of straws. The one who drew the
longer straw was to play the part. Mr..
Gates drew it, Mr.. Barnett Will lay
off next week. However he Will make
after next by playing Captain Hodge
man. the heavy in arizona
Miss Hobbs" is the play in which
F'rohman starred Lillian Russell. In
this play meal is cooked on the
stage. A scene on the deck of a yacht
is another feature.
When Harry North manager of
North Bros. Stock company was asked
about the details of the play over the
telephone this afternoon this CONVEX
sation took place:
Hello, Mr. North
Hello, Boz
Whats doing next week ?"
Cant you read the papers?''
'Sure; ut what about the play next |
week? Is it good d?"
What? Do you expect me to knock
on it?"
NO; but tell me something about
it,
"Oh come and see it and then write |
It up to suit yourself. You're too in I
quisitive for me, haven't time to fuss
with you. But. let me tell you. come |
back on the stage after the last yacht |
scene. We are going to cook a real /
meal and it's you and me for the pork |
chops
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09
what! You don't care!

3What! You don't care! Say, YOU
old reprobate-
''Whati What"
Mrs. Bowser, old Scmidt calls me a
jackassl. BY the piper that piped, I'll
go around TO his old shebang and
knock his head off his should ers!"
And Mr.. Bowser hangs up the
trumpet and roars out that he's a man
of his word, and he proposes other
men shall come to time, and thus
makes a very pleasant evening for
himself Copyright, 1911, by Asso-
ciated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

Many of the club women will be in
terested in the suffrage campaign. but
there viii be plenty to do for those
who do not expect to be active in that
work; for the federation provides en-
ployment in many fields, and the har-
vest is as great as it ever was.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

action to prevent the bugs going be-
yond the beach and invading the city.
Lynn (AIass.) dispatch to Phila-
delDhie. Record
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

Some new study clubs are being or
ganized, and they probably will feder-
ate during the season, adding their
strength to the organization.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09
GOING ATTRACTIoNs.

Fair Week=The Norwoods.
The Matinee Girl-Sept 21, p, 23
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09
SUFFRAGE NOTES.

France has passed a bill permitting
women lawyers to act as magistrates
in trying cases of children under thir-
teen.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

At the Majestic.
Fair Week.-Mrs. Hobbs.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

Quick Returns State Jour-
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

The City Federation of Women's
clubs will meet again this fall, as
usual, notwithstanding that it was sup
posed to have been disbanded last
spring. 4 meeting will be held the
first Thursday in October, and an in
teresting session is promised The or
ganization expects to go on with its
work and to make the coming year as
active as the past.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-09

taxes on approximately $16.0OO,OOO
worth of real estate, the Atlanta Civic
league has sent a petition to the com
mittee in charge of drawing up the
new charter requesting that a clause
be included giving municipal suffra ge
to women.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1911-12-02
That's right! Give him the third
degree. It's time he furnished
livid account of himself.

Even Servia is going to regu-
late things. If the German SUI
gar factory doesn't reduce prices,
King Peter will shut it up. The
people are sitting up and taking
notice of high prices the world
around. @
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1911-12-02

America is responsible for
England's decadance." And how
do you think? Those rich girls
we have given to- English noble
men have brought the. fine old
English spirit down, to the mire
of dollars. We can't help it,
faint our money!! ~
Another literary detective on
the trail Of Hamlet, they say.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13

For Sale-Some nice Jersey COWS
and Calves, which are registered or
entitled to same. If interested write
W Carl Wharton, Waterloo, S. S. G-3t
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13
MILLINERS HAVE RETURNED.

With the Advent of September came
the Ladies' who are TO he the .trhi-
tcrs OF Fashion for the Next Few
Months.
The ladies of the city and of the
county will doubtless be glad to learn
that the millinery stores of Laurens
have been fortunate enough to pro-
cure for the coming season the same
milliners which they had last year.
Miss Gertrude Lipscomb, who has
been with Swtzer Company for sew
eral years, was the first to return to
the city and has already begun to
shape up" the hats and trimmings
Miss Evelyn Ames, who was with Il-
Wis Roper for the first time last sel-
son, returned to Laurens several days
ago and is now putting hats on dis
play and getting ready for the fall
trade. Miss Louise Chilcote, who in
augurated Minters first millinery
season last year and who won a great
many friends while here, returned to
the city Monday evening and entered
upon her duties yesterday morning.
The buyers for the different stores
made an exhaustive search of the mar
kets while in the North and are bet
ter prepared than ever to supply the
home people with hats and other "ac-
coutrements." They have learned
that the way to keep :ne trade of their
home people at home is to buy the
very latest in styles and patterns SO
that no need would be felt for Lau-
erns people to go to other cities in
search of the fashionable things With
this in mind they purchased with a
view of keeping Laurens money in
Laurens. No doubt the home mer-
chants will enjoy larger percentage
OF the higher class of trade than they
have ever enjoyed before.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13

never have attended school? While the
boys of ohr rural districts are hav-
ing more and more advantages and
more and more of them are taking
advantage of their opportunities, many
and many of the boys and girls of our
mill villages are starving their minds
and growing up in ignorance. White
parents who will not send their chill
dren to school ought to be made to
send them
Let 1t not be understood that we are
opposed to the negroes getting educa-
tion too. We favor giving them every
opportunity that they might better
their own condition and solve their
own problems, but we must have our
own white children educated
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13
The Thornwem Orphanage.

The Thornwell Home and Schools
for Orphans is the name of the Pres
byterian Orphanage under the control
of the synods of South Carolina, Geor-
gai, and Florida. and is one that hopes
TO share in the benefit of orphan-work
day, 1t may interest the readers of
this paper to know that the Orphanage
was begun some thirty-seven years
ago with half-dollar, the gift of an
orphan: that it was opened with four
little boys and four little girls; that
1t has no agent, neither are any as
sessments made for its support by the
church; nor any days appointed for
collections being wholly dependent
upon the voluntary gifts of benevo-
lent people. 1t now has sixteen cot
tage homes, with some SOC orphans.
with ten teachers in the schools, with
matron in e2ch cottage 1t has a
farm, shocshop, a carpenter and
"achine shop, steam laundry and
other industrial departments in which
% fthe children do something toward
their support AMI in the aggregate they
save TO the home. by this labor. nct
less than $4,000. 1t costs about six
ty dollars a year to Hovide board for
each pupil. a fine education, begin
ming with the alphabet and ending
with a College course is open to them.
Surely such an institution is worthy
OF support. The pupils in the homes
are mainly from South Carolina, Geor-
gia and Florida. but there are many
scattered from New York to Oklaho-
ma now with us. There Is neither
local nor UNCONVENTIONAL restriction
as to reception of orpaans. Those re-
ceived however. must be worthy. in
telligent orphans, withou means OF
support. The institution Is located in
Clinton. s. c. Rev. DR.. Jacobs is
President.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13

Clear the deck and let the battle be
between Ira b. Jones and Cole l..
Blease.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13
A FAMILY REUNION.
The Children and Grand. Children of
Mrs. Sarah Simpson Celebrate Her
birthday mt Poplar Springs.

DTthuay hL EOplhT springs.
Poplar Springs, Sept. 81 suppose
the Inhabitants Of every nation on
the globe have some kind of gather
ing such as picnics, banquets, festi-
ylas, family reunions, ETC., for amuse-
ment and recreation.
| Mrs. Sarah Simpson, wife Of Mr..
James Simpson, celebrated her sew
enty-eighth birthday on last Tuesday
the 5th. She did not wish to cele-
brate 1t alone with her husband, so
she called in her children and grand
children and near relatives to share
the joys fthe day with her. 1t was
the joys of the day with her. 1t was
of these new reunions but one of the
old-time family reunions.
| The children went and carried their
well-filled baskets as if they were go
ing to picnic, in order that the wom-
EN- folks might not have to stand over
the hot stove all day getting dinner
Dinner was eaten at twelve o'clock
and on the table We're Vegetables
chicken, cakes and pies of almost ev-
cry description and flavor. About four
o'clock another beautiful scene greet
ed the eye for the father of the home
brought out several iarge watermel-
ons. 1t is useless to say, and vet al
most impossible to express in words,
how these watermelons were enjoyed.
They were his own raising. Although
man of seventy five years. he hasn't
forgotten how to grow melons.
The pastor Rev. b. p Mitchell, came
in just before the time of separation
and was asked to read a passage of
scripture and offer prayer When
the pastor asked if any one had any
special passage they desired read, the
answer was the 18th chapter of ST.
John. After reading the pastor Of
fered special prayer for the entire
| family. This closed the family re-
union for this time and of course it is
| impossible TO tell who will be the first
to meet death. but we will all never
! meet Just like we were Tuesday.
Mr. Lewis Gaines and daughter, Hat
tie. OF Georgia, attend the celebration
of the birthday OF Mrs. Sarah Simpson
last Tuesday.
Misses Lizzie and Maggie Beeks en-
tertained quite a large number of
young folks Friday evening, Septem-
Der Sth on their beautiful lawn. There
were about eighty young people pres
ent and all seemed to have had very
pleasant time. The party was given
in honor OF Miss Hattie Gaines, of
Georgia
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13
Advertiser Want Ads.

A prominent young business man
advertised house for sale in these
columns several weeks ago and with
In few days he had rented the build
Ing, number of people calling on him
before the house was let. He esti-
mates that In all he has had at least
dozen calls for this house as the
result of this one ad. See, 1t only
costs twenty-five cents for one inser-
tion.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13
Mt. Vernon School

Mount Vernon School furnishes ed
ucation, culture and growth OF char
acter to boys and young men with or
without money.
The school is located on a large
farm in Warren county Immediately
on the Seaboard Air Line Railway and
Is for boarding pupils exclusively.
For forther information address
Mount Vernon School, Littleton, N. C.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13
SPECIAL NOTICES.

For Sale-One power cotton press
at Tumbing Shoals. a self packing
machine with two extra pins and nuts.
one saw frame. VIM. ID. Sullivan,
Tumbling Shoals, Laurens County.
65t pd
For Sale-Some nice Jersey COWS
and Calves, which are registered or
entitled to same. If interested write
W Carl Wharton, Waterloo, S. s. G-3t
For SaIe-A good second hand top
buggy tBabcock) in good condition. AL
so set of single buggy harness. Ap-
ply to j. r. Little, Laurens S. C.
For Sale-Forty acres land one
half mile city limits fifteen acres in
cultivation. Will cut in ten-acre tracts
or sell as a whole. For terms and
prices, see b. y. Sullivan, Laurcns.
). Z. off
Notice-After the first OF Septem-
Der will make my headquarters in
Gray Court. Will make regular visits
to Fountain Inn, Clinton, Enoree,
Woodruff, Cross Hill and Laurens.
Phone 81, Gray Court. Earl c. Ow-
ems, Veterinary Surgeon.
Land For Sale-Well improved farm
OF 200 acres, more or less, part lying
within town of Waterloo. 7-room
dwelling and broom dwelling, also 3
tenant houses. Good water. P. II. An
derson, Waterloo, s. G. AT pd
For Sale-17 1-2 acres of land on
South Harper street. Laurens. S. c.,
with five-room dwelling, on edge of
city limits. Apply to w. c. Irby, Jr
3-tf.
House to -Commodous six
Modern Improvements, garden and
barn. Apply to w. G. Lancaster. En-
terprise Bank, Laurens s. c.. 2-tf
III You Wish to Sell That farm tim
ber land, store or residence, write
us at once and send full description as
we have an attractive proposition to
offer you.
IfGON LAND CO., Sumter, s. C..
51-12t
For Sale-Pinson and Yates apple
trees for fall delivery. They are the
best. Send me your order. Price rs
cents each. VIII be In Laurens first
Monday In November to make deliv-
cry. David A. Madden, Ware Shoals,
X. r. ID. No. /. 2-10t
FOR RENT-Store-room next to
Switzcr Company. For information ap-
ply to u. w, Martin, or N. b. Dial at
Enterprise Bank. Laurens. s. G.
3-5t pd
LOst-A Hound Bitch color white a
few red spots. comes to the name Of
Queen, liberal reward will be paid
for her or to any one who will tell me
where she is. G. e. Tucker, Glenn
Springs, s. G. Tit pd
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13

The Advertiser will be glad to
receive the local news of all the
communities In the county. Cor
respondents are requested to
sign their name to the cOntri-
buttons Letters should not be
mailed later than Monday morn
ing.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-09-13

Solid car load of Iron Beds just re-
ceived and they are the best values
ever shown in the State. Our prices
will save money for you, call and look
them over.
8. ". G. e. II. Wilkes g. Co.