The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-02-02
RUSSIA'S JESTER.
Balakireff is the Joe Miller of the
MuScOyiteS.

ing stories of a people. Thus Eng
land has it's Joe Miller, Germany it's
Till Eulenspiegel, Italy it's Punchi-
nello, the orient it's Nasreddin Ell
Khoja and Russia it's BalakireH.
Like Joe Miller, the last was real
character, though not all the JOKES
credited to him were his own. Some
were inventions of later age; oth-
ers were borrowed from the past.
He shares the credit for many OF
the latter with Joe Miller and Eulen-
spiegel.
History records that Balakireff
was the favorite jester of Peter the
Great. Tradition represents him as
the constant companion Of that car,
frequently exercising his wit at royal
expense. One day, for example, a
cousin of his had fallen under the
czar's displeasure and was sentenced
to death. Balakireff undertook to
obtain reprieve. The car guessed
his errand even before he opened his
mouth.
"No!" he cried. "Tis no use your
coming here. / swear that I will not
grant what you are going to ask"
Balakireff dropped at once to his
knees, "Peter Alexeivitch," he cried
81 pray you, put to death that scamp
of a cousin of mine!'
Peter, thus caught in his own trap,
had no choice but to laugh and send
pardon to the culprit.
On another occasion Balkireff ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
his masters domestic guards. Peter
consented for the sake of the joke,
but warned his jester that death was
the penalty if any officer of the
guards absented himself from his
post or mislaid his sword. Then to
test the volunteer he sent him up
f1agon of wine to ''moisten his COM
mission" Balakireff, as was expect
ed, drank to the intoxicating point.
While he was sleeping off his de-
bauch the czar himself crept into the
room and carried off his sword from
the scabbard. Balakireff, though
badly scared, on awakening made
shift to replace the missing weapon
with his own wooden imitation of the
guardsmen's sword. He was called
to parade next morning, when Peter
feigned hot indignation at the un-
tidiness of one Of the guards.
Captain Balakireff,' he cried at
last, draw your sword and cut on
the head of that sloven!"
Balakireff cast his eyes up to heav-
en-. "Oh, merciful God" he prayed,
grant that my sword may turn into
wood before / use it on one OF my
own fellow soldiers!"
And, 10, when be unsheathed it the
blade stood revealed as wooden
one. Peter laughed heartily at the
knave's presence of mind and re-
stored him to favor.
A more serious offense resulted in
the Punishment of the Jester. Never
dare to appear again on Russian
soil!" stormed the emperor. Judge
then of Peters surprise, when a
week later he beheld his old favor
ite coolly driving in a cart past the
palace.
"How dare you disobey me?"
shouted the enraged monarch. Did
I do not forbid you ever to show your
self on Russian soil?''
"Nay," replied Balakariff, II have
not disobeyed you. This is not Rus
sian soil.''
"How say you-not Russian soil?'
"Truly not. This CARLOAD of earth
on which I am sitting is Swedish
soil. 1 dug it up in Finland only
the other day.
Again the czar laughed uproarl-
ously and readmitted his buffoon to
favor. Some historians add that
when he heard the excuse he said,
.If Finland be Swedish soil now it
shall be Russian before long,,
threat he was not slow to fulfill.
This story, however, was an old
one long before the time of Balakl-
ref. 1t forms the twenty-seventh ad-
venture of Till Eulenspiegel, who is
reputed to have died in 1850. HaV-
ing offended the Duke of Lunenberg,
Till was forbidden the land" He
purchased a shilling's worth of earth
to fill his cart with, and, being duly
challenged by the duke, he answer
ed:
'My gracious lord, am not in
your land, but in mine own, wherein
I do sit. I bought it of a boor for
a shilling. And rightfully could he
sell it, for from his forefathers he
ca this tr111y NV