davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
At the Dinner.

Last Christmas a certain minister
was invited to big dinner at the
house of one of the leading men in
the town. At the dinner table he was
placed opposite a goose.
The lady of the house was placed
on the minister's left. Seeing the
goose he remarked:
Shall | sit so close to the goose o.
Finding his words bit equivocal,
he turned round TO the lady. and said,
IN a most inoffensiye tone:
Excuse me, my lady; / meant the
roast one"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
First publication December IL, Isl1-6.
JUDGMENT AND SALE ON FORECI OsDRF

GTATE OF WISCONSIN-vERNoN COUNTY
~ In Circuit Court.
Gustav A. Larson Plaintiff, VS.. Alfred B. Ben
son and Matilda Benson ths wife), Defendants.
By virtue of Judgment of foreclosure and sale
made in the above entitled action on the 18th day
of November 1910. the undersigned sheriff of Yer
non county, state of Wisconsin win sell at the
east front door of the court house. in the city of
Niroqua, Vernon county. Wisconsin. on the 9th
day of January. 1872 at 10 O'Clock in the forenoon
of that day the real estate and mortgaged premi.
SEES directed by said judgment to be sold, and
therein described as follows:
East one half e2l Of southwest quarter ga
and northwest quarter ga of southeast quarter
90 of section tweuty-one (2D. township four
teen Q4l north, range four (4) west. Also the
southwest quarter % Of the southwest quarter
- and the southeast quarter (lal of the south
west quarter ca section seventeen %. town
ship fourteen tlQ north. range two 90 west and
the north-easth quarter "a of the northwest
quarter %. section twenty GOD, township four
teen CAD north. range two ~ west Vernon coun-
ty Wisconsin
Terms of sale cash.
Dated at sherif's office this sth day of Decem-
ber. 1911 MARTIN RooT. Sheriff.
c. J Smith. Plaintiffs Attorney.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27

Horns, tops, flying tops, engines,
electric toys, tool chests, sad irons,
stoves, dishes, games, post card pro-
jeetors, moving picture machine and
hobby horses at o. E. Davis drug store
Without opiates or harmful drugs of
any kind Foley's Honey and Tar Com
pound stops coughs and cures colds.
Do not accept any substitute. A. j..
johnson.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
LEGAL PUBLICATIONS
First publication December 20. lsli-4.
Notice of application to sell real estate
NERNON COUNTY COURT-IN PROBATE

NotiCC VI dppilcdltOh " sell real estate
I ERNoN COUNTY CoURT-IN PROBATE,
State of Wisconsin, county of Vernon So.
STATE OF WISCONSIN,
County Court. Vernon County So
In the matter of the estate of Jane Hodge. de-
ceased.
1t appearing to the satisfaction of this court, by
the petition of c. j. Smith. executor of the estate
of Jane Hodge, deceased that the personal estate
in the hands Of the said executor is insufficient
pay the debts Of said deceased and expenses Of adj
mnistrati0n. and that it is necessary to sell the
real estate of the said deceased for the payment
Of such bebts and expenses.
IL Is therefore ordered, That all persons inter
ested in the said estate, appear before the county
court for said county. at tha Office Of the judge Of
said court. il the city of Viroqua on the 9Th day
OF ebruary.A. D. l9i2,at 10 o'clock a m 10 show
cause, if any they have why license should not be
granted to the said c. j. Smith to nor gage. lease.
sell 50 much OF the real estate of the said de-
ceased as shall be necessary to pay such debts,
And it is further ordered. that a copy Of the
above order be published in THE VERNON COUNTY
CENSOR, newspaper printed IN said county, for
at least four successive weeks before the day Fixed
for said hearing, and that copy of said order be
serves personally ON all persons interest ed in said
estate and residing in said county at least twenty
days before such day Of hearing.
Dated this 18th day of December 1911.
By the Court D. o. MAHoNEY. County Judge
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
In Advance

Mrs. Skinflint-oh, John! Mary,
the parlor maid, has just swallowed a
quarter! What ever shall we do?
Old Skinfint-Do? Well, l suppose
we'd better let her keep it. She'd
have expected Christmas present,
anyhow!
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
A MYSTERY.

Dudley Nobs-Pa, there's one thing
about Santa Claus never could un-
derstand.
Mr.. Nobs-What is that, my son!
Dudley Nobs-Why does Santa al
ways leave valuable presents to rich
folks and cheap ones to poor people?
Why don't he even things upi
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
A convenlent MYTH.

why do you still keep up that abb
surd Santa Claus myth?n asked the
eynic. Il should have thought you
would have laughed at it,"
Because" answered the man with
large family. 1T is convenient to
have some one to blame for presents
that fail to please"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
First publication December Il. 1919.
PROBATE NOTICE.
Notice Of application for final Sc

Notice Of application for final settlement.
VERNON COUNTY COURT-N PROBATE
State of Wisconsin, county of Vernon, ss
In the matter Of the estate of Andrew Jensen,
deceased
On reading and fling the application If N. A.
Anderson, executor of the estate of Andrew
Jensen. deceased, representing among other
things that he has fully administered the said
estate. and praying that time and place be fixed
for examining and allowing his account of mis- adj
ministration. and that the residue of the said
estate be assigned TO such persons as are by
law entitled to the same:
II is ordered. that said application be heard be-
fore this court. at q special term thereof to be
held at the probate Office. in the city of Virpqua
Wisconsin. on the 9Th day Of January A ID.
1912. at 10 o'clock a. m.
And II is further ordered. that notice Of the
time and place of examining and allowing said ae-
count and of assigning the residue of said estate
be given 20 all persons interested BY publication
of copy of this order for three successive weeks
in THE VERNoS COUNTY CENSOR. Newspaper
published in said county. before the day fixed for
said hearing.
Dated this 6th day Of December 1911
By the Court. ID o. MARoNEg. Cc2nty Judge
II don matter much who you work
for, provided he pays your wages
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27

Judge Higbee has summoned grand
jury to assemblein La Crosse to take
notice of official misconduct and alleged
grating among city officials, the police
department in particular. 1t is the
first time like court of inquiry has
ever been convened in that county.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
Win the cOmius OF Middle Ase

There is a letting down in the physi
cal forces often shown in snnoying and
painful kidney and bladder ailments and
urinary Irregularities. Foley Kidney
Pills a a splendid regulating and
strengt 'ng medicine at such time.
Try the. A. ]. johnson.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
once ENOUGH.

christmas comes but once year"
said the CHEEKY citizen.
mo rse in its coming twice year"
said the mcrose person. Must give
a man a chance to save a little money
before he can spend it,"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
oPPoRTuNE.

George-Ah, Lily, dear, this will be
the jolliest Chris mas I've ever spent
Now that were engaged l think only
of the future
l.i.y-Do you? Well. at this time Of
the } ear l think only Of the present.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
THE FIRST PRESENTS.

The giving of Christ
mas presents was
first introduced by
the early Romans.
They exchanged gifts
freely, but in eompli-
ance with a sumptu-
airy law they were
never allnwaa 10 gi..n
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27

The republican national nominating
convention for president and vice pres
ident is slated for Chicago, to open
June is. The national committee so
decreed at late meeting in Washing
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
Zoo Late.

Highwayman-Halt! Your money or
your life!
Victim-It's no go, stranger. My
wife's in the same line of business al
ways at Christmas time, and she's just
finished with me.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
Christmas Thanks.

When turkeys ON the table laid.
And good things I may scan,
I'm thankful that / wasn't made
A vegetarian.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
Two Kinds

There are friends and Christmas
tree friends. The latter take all the
presents they can set and present
you with beautiful boughs,
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27

People have cause for rejoicing! Con-
gress is taking its holiday vacation and
there will be no session of Wisconsin g
legislature the present winter.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
cackIInn.

Mrs. Gramercy-She must have been
surprised when her husband gave her
such an expensive present for Christ.
mas.
Mrs, Park-Not surprised, my dear.
but suspicious
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27

AIRS Callsr-You surely don't give
ycur husband a neckde every Christ.
aas7
AIRS. Athome-Oh, yes, / dol And
poor ar never seems to know
1hat it is same onei
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
Gl1rtatn,aH mtttR
ann IalnntH
Wonderful Man.

Decem-Glnks had The most wonder
ful eontroi Of his features OF any man
/ ever knew.
Burr understand he was mar
vel.
Decem-He was. Why I've even
seen that man look pleased when he
saw what his wife had bought him
for Christmas.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
A clean sweeo.

Caroiine-rve been in the stores all
day
Pauline-So soon after Christmas,
and still shopping?
Caroline-Shoppingl l guess not.
I'm exchanging all my presents.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
For Sale by
OSTREM & DAVIDSON
VirOqua, Wisconsin
{ G EMA
Also called Tetter, SAT- Rheun. Pruritus, Mink

Also called letter, salt Rheunl. PrurituS, Milk
Crust. Weeping skin, etc.
ECZEMA G AN BE CURED TO
S T A Y and when / say cured mean
just what l say--C-U-R-E-D, and not merely
PATCHED Up for awhile to return worse than before
Remember make this broad statement after put
ting ten years Of my time on this one disease and
handling in the meantime quarter of a million
cases of this dreadful disease. Now. do not care
what all you have used nor how many doctors
have told you that you could not be eured-alI
ask is just a chance to show you that know what
] am talking about. II you will write me To-
DAY, will send you a FREE TRIAL of my
mild. soothing. guaranteed cure that will convince
you more in day than or anyone else could in a
month g time. If ycH are disgusted and discour-
aged, dare You to give chance to prove my
claims. By writing me to-day you viii enjoy
more real comfort than you had ever thought
this world holds for you. Just try it and you
viii see am telling you the truth.
DR.. j. Z. Cannaday
1929 Park Square, Sedalia, MO-
References: Third National Bank, Sedaa Mo.
Could you do hef'~- ac. than to send this notiee
10 cane poor suitere Of Eczema?
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
z estzn1 Free

Have your eyes tested by ]. w. Lucas.
optieisn, at Luess' Jewelry Store. Eve
yls~ es-,a st lowest prics 9
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-12-27
raE AeIsrocnacY AND cosr o. War

We69aa11T. DroaMBEE q. On
The Washington times., 1911-02-15
Baked Pork and Beans
Prepared to the Liking

Pick over, wash and put to soak In
plenty of cold water a quart of white
beans.
Put them, in the morning, In two
quarts of cold water and boil slowly
for forty minutes, then drain off the
water. and put more in; use boiling
water this time, the same quantity as
before: boil for thirty minutes, and
pour off this water; now put enough
boiling water into the saucepan to
Good deal more than cover the beans.
Put half a pound of picked pork into
the saucepan and boil until d,tnn the beans Taars
water from time to time.
Remove to pudding Rnogt1i dish; H. mo5aIses a6d PeR
p,5; haita in n hot oven until pork and
beans Sl S are Of a light brown color: See See
that there is plenty of moisture IN nS tnS
deal; % When cold, baked beans should
cut smooth, and should be as moist as
they can be and hold together. serve
in the dish in which they were baked
The Washington times., 1911-02-15
LATEST METHODS
FOR CROCHETING
POPULAR TURBAN
By FRANCES CARROLL.

all loops on hook, ch. 1, then make q
star stitch by inserting hook into eye
of stitch, insert hook INTO back loop OF
stitch, insert hook into back loop ol
next stitch, insert hook into eye of next
stitch. yarn over hook. draw through
all stitches on hook, ch. l. Make another
star stitch, then widen.
To widen, insert hook in eye of stitch,
insert into back loop, insert into the
same eye where last stitch was made
a loops on hook, yarn over hook
and draw through all loops on hook,
Ch. l.
Continue this way, making 2 star
stitches and one widening, all around
this row.
Fourth row: Make stars and widen.
all around row.
Fifth row: Make stars and widen,
all around row. Now work round and
round, making rows without any
widening.
Then make rows Of single crochet,
using the same color as the border.
Now, to make the border, turn the
work, and, working on the wrong side,
make rows of star stitch. This throws
the border on the right side, when it is
turned up.
Finish with row of single crochet
8 join, make single crochets in ring.
Now make . single crochets In each
of the s just made.
In the next row make X 2 S. C. in first
stitch, S. C. in next Repeat from Y
around row.
Now make 2 rows of s. c. without any
widening.
Then make / s. c. in every other stitch
until there are no stitches left.
The Washington times., 1911-02-15
Mirandy On Nerves
By DOROTHY DIX

some friends, an jest as I reaches for
my nat l catches yo' eye, an sees you
sort or begtnnin to tune up yo' talkin
machine, hit makes me dat tremblySdat
my legs gives way onder me. an / feel
SINKS back 1pto my chair, whar 1 sets
fast ontfl bedtime.
An l tells you, Mirandy. dat you
has well nigh wrecked my constitution
wild de things dat you has said to me
on dem occasions when l is held out
few bones on you out of my pay
envelope.
"Cose dere amt no truth in yo' sus-
picions dat / give Sally Sue Jones dat
hat wild de weepin' willow fedder on
1t, but de sleep lost whilst you was
spressin' yo'self on de subject almost
landed me in de hospital.
'Yas, woman, eff l is ever one of
desc heah neuresthenys, you amt got
nobody but yo'self to blame for hit.
An l amt de only man dats a
tremblin' on de vergeSof nervous pros
tratfon on account of deir wives talk
in. You jest watch any man you lax.
an every time he hears his wife's
voice, he jumps.
Oh goes on Ike, in a sad voice,
what a mournful thing hit Is to see
all de po', nervous wrecks of men
about us an to think dat we could all
tongues"
What would you do If should quit
talkin'?" 7 axes Ike
Il should grab my hat and run for
de doctor spons Ike. "for I would
know dat you was in a dyin' state"
The Washington times., 1911-02-15

Continued from yesterday
ffX /ESSUM, dats a great man, dat
doctor is, an he done put his
i finger right on de trouble, an
splain why so many po', on
fortunate men Is nervous wrecks. Hits
oecase DER wives talks too much an
de cure for hit is for de wives to cut out
de chin music.
Yassum'" says Ike, wild a mournfuI
air. "deir aint nuthin, no danger. nor
nuthin. dat can make a man SO nervous
as his wife's tongue. Now, des look at
me. Use a big, strappin', abIe-bodied
man dat is a boss bricklayer, ef I does
say 1t myself. Manys de time dat 1
walks on a little narrow scaffold dats
eight or ten stories above de street, an
1 prances along dat wild no mo- nery-
iousness dan a cat on de back fence.
But des let me stop by de corner
saloon for a game Of craps, an a little
beer to keep things from beif' dry, an
when / starts home, an gifts to thinkin
about all dem things dat you is been
settin up thinking Of to say to me, Mi
randy, / gifts SO nervous dat by de time
l reaches home my hand is shaking so
dat cant git the key in the keyhole.
''Yessum, dats so, and dat amt all.
Whe l is thinkin bout steppfn round
to de Lodge to spend de evenin wild
The Washington times., 1911-02-15

r HAVE received, during the past
week, over a dozen requests fol
instructions in crocheting the pop
ular turban of the season in stat
stitch. Since the directions are toe
long to be given in the Question Box
department l am giving them to you
here.
For the turban you will require:
Three skains eight fold Germantown,
Amber Crochet Hook No. 6.
Oh. means chain; tr. c. means treble
crochet.
Ch. 3, join to a ring.
First row: Ch. 3, make Is tr. c. il.
ring, Join into Sd ch.
Second row: Oh. ., insert hook into
1st ch., draw up a loop. insert hook
into first tr. c., using both loops at top
Of stitch, draw up a loop, yarn over
hook draw through all stitches on hook,
ch. l. CThis ch. l forms an eye). Now,
y insert hook in the eye, draw up a
loop, insert hook in back loop of stitch,
draw up a loop, insert hook in next
IT. c., draw up loop, yarn over hook
draw through all stitches on hook, ch
l. Repeat from X all around.
Third row: Insert hook into last eye,
insert hook into back loop of stitch, in
sert book into I'd Ch. at beginning Of
previous row, insert hook into top loop
of first stitch of previous row 6 loops
on hook, yarn over hook draw through.
The Washington times., 1911-02-15
Much Cleanliness Rests
On Art of Using Broom

Good sweeping is dependent on the
broom. Buy a good, firm broom as hght
in weight as possible, when not In use
keep it hung up. Give the broom an
occasional bath, in hot salt water. A
cover to slip on over the brush when
sweeping down the walls or dusty
porches will be found a great convent
ence.
Sew up bag-shaped canton flannel
and make a narrow hem, work two but
tonholes one and half inches below,
one each side Of the seam, stitch an
inch wide casing on the outer side, and
run q strong tape through the button
holes and tie securely. Sprinkle floor to
be swept with cornmeai, salt, or tea
leaves; sweep in one direction with long
light strokes; be sure to sweep with
the arms and not with the back. Sweep
the carpet with the pile and not against
ii. Don't wait for roos to be dusty
before sweeping. Dust with cheese
cloth or chamois. Use crude oil for
woodwork and floors.
The Washington times., 1911-02-15
Old Rugs Made New
By the Use of Paint

When Brussels or any other one-sided
rugs are worn out turn them over and
paint any color desired with good house
paint. have one painted dark green
and it looks as soft and refreshing as
a new velvet rug would, and is not only
cool in summer as we'll as warm in
winter, but so easily kept clean. Any
old Brussels or velvet carpets can be
turned and painted, especially in halls.
Paint to initiate hardwood floors. We
had one painted light brown, and with
a coat of varnish it was a pretty oak
color.
With rugs scattered over it, it was
as satisfactory as new modern floors.
These carpets also are fine substitute
for linoleum in kitchen and pantry.
The Washington times., 1911-02-15

Smith, a veteran, in his eighteth year,
Twas on that dread immortal day
l dared the Britons hand;
A captain raised this blade on me,
I tore it from his hand.
And as the glorious battle ragged,
1t lightened freedoms will:
For. boy, the God of freedom blessed
The sword of Bunker Hill.
Then take the sword, his accents broke
A smile and he was dead.
But his trembling hand still graspet
the blade
Upon that dying bed.
Now, that historic sword remains,
Its glory growing still,
And five score millions bless the size
And sword of Bunker riill.
The Washington times., 1911-02-15

published at the request of Emanuel
He lay upon his dying bed,
His eye was growing dim:
When with a feeble voice he called
His weeping son to him.
Weep not my son, the veteran cried,
bow to heavens high will,
But quickly from yon antlers bring
The sword of Bunker Hill.
The sword was brought, the veteran
eye
Lit with a sudden fame:
And as he grasped the ancient blade
He murmured Warren's name.
Then said. my boy, leave you gold,
But what is richer still,
leave you, mark me, mark me now.
The sword Of Bunker Hill.
The Washington times., 1911-02-15
Barrel Hoop Hangers.

When destroying your barrels do not
throw away the old hoops. These
should be saved and cut In pieces the
length Of the regular coat hanger with
a crossway piece of cotton material
and a loop sewed on in center of hoop.
These are much lighter than ordinary
coat hangers and are just as satisfac-
tory for hanging up shirt waists, coats
and skirts.
The Washington times., 1911-02-15

DAILY FASHION TALK TO
THE READERS OF THE TIMES
A Graceful Girhsh Frock

= iris are wear
~ ing a great
many frocks madf
with simple straight
tunics. This one Is
daintiIy charming,
1t is made Of crepe
de chine over a
skirt of silk which
is faced with velvet
at the lower edge.
The blouse is a
charming one with
two tucks over the
shoulders that are
becoming to girlish
figures and with
short sleeves.
1t can be worn
a s Illustrated or
W / t h out under
sleeves or over a
high neck guimpe,
as preferred. The
tunic is just a
straight gathered
one. 1t can be fin
ished with a band
at the lower edge
or without. The
skirt is seven-gored
and uSt full |
enough at the lower
edge to be pretty
beneath the tunic.
A great many COM
binations of mate
rial could be util-
lied for the model,
chiffon, ,marquisette,
or similar material
would be charm
ing for the blouse
and tunic with the
trimming eth e r
of beaded banding,
as in this instance,
or of contrasting
material or lace or
applique. Indeed,
there are countless
com binatiOns that
suggest themselves
at once. In addi-
ton to all its other
advantages, t h e
dress is very sim
pie and easy to
make.
For the sixteen
year size the blouse
with tunic will re-
quire 4 yards OF
material "a or q
inches wide, 2h
yards A in C h e S
wide; for the skirt
will be needed "A
yards "a or 27 inches
wide or 2I2 yards A
inches wide. with 2
yards of velvet for
the facing at the
lower edge.
A May Manton
pattern Of I h e
blouse with tunic
No. $3.50 or of the
skirt No. $40, sizes
IA, Is, and IS years
of age, can be OBJ
tanned at Golden
berg S.