The Marshall republican., 1911-01-06
Press Clippings


1t is considered pretty dry in
this community but nothing to
compare with what South Mis-
souri, editor says: Il is 30 dry
here that wagons are going
around with their tongues out,
ice has to be soaked in water all
night before II is wei enough 90
make lemonade. The cat fish
kick up such a dust i'm the Cas-
conade river that the river has to
be sprinkled before you can go
fishing. A spark from an engine
set fire to a pond and burned up
a lot OF bull frogs before the fire
could be extinguished and the
ground is so dry and hard that
crawfish holes in the low places
are being pulled and shipped off
for gas pipe.-Ex.
A Judge, Disguised with a jury
that seemed unable to reach an
agreement in perfectly evident
case, relates a Louisville paper,
rose and said ~ discharge this
iury.n One sensitive talesman, in
dignant at what he considered a
rebuke, obstinately faced the
Judge. "You can't discharge me-"
he said In tones OF one standing
upon his rights. "And why nor"
asked the surprised Judge. "Be-
csuse,r announced the juror, point
ing TO the lawyer for the defense,
am being hired by that man
there"
Craig Leader: A new way OF
cleaning a chimney has been dis
covered by a Nebraska girl who
was pestered by a smoking coal
stove. She poured a quart OF gas
oiine In the stove, carried the can
to a safe distance and then light
ed Il by throwing match in II
from n partly closed door. II
cleaned the chimney by blowing
the stove through II and landed
! the girl and the door In the top OF
! an apple tree three rods distant
The girl had a nice ride or the
? door and was not burned mt all,
i merely two legs broken. The
: chimney was thoroughly cleaned.
Gallatin Democrat: One OF ouI
: good preachers Is feeling a little
"soren over an experience he had q
: few days ago. He was called "a
I the country to marry a couple, had
to get a team and after the cere-
mony the bridegroom took hin
aside and said an e You later
He has probably gone blind as hi
!, hasn't yet "seen" the preacher.
8 This Joke was awarded $25 by
Y magazine: An freshman after much
: coaxing went up with his employ
a or an aeronaut, for a trip In
= balloon. As Pat had foreseen, thu
big bag met with ar accident, ant
I Pat got ready 10 jump out. Thu
other man yelled ut him, "Pat dom
= Jump! hold on to the balloon
Pat yelled In answer as he jumped
"To the divil with your balloon II
meseif I'm tryin' to save"
After the Jury had been out I
very long time on a very simple
case, they filed into the court room
and the foreman told the judg'
they couldn't agree on a verde,
"weli," said the Judge, Ego back
and III have twelve suppers sen
in to you" "If II pleases you
e honor" said the foreman, "mak'
it eleven suppers and a bundle o
hay"
"Pop, why do doctors stick thos
e measures In your mouth to tell yo'
e II you've got fever2" because, m.
i son, the mouth In where the hot nd
comes from"
Man that Ia born OF woman
small potatoes and few in a hill
@ He rises up today and flourishe
.. Like a ragweed and tomorrow O
y the next day the undertaken hat
g him. He goeth forth in the morn
= ing warbling like a lark and
lie knocked out in one round and tw
J. seconds. In the midst of life he
in debt and the tax collector pun
: sues him wherever he goeth. TIL
bannister OF life Is full of splinter
and he sideth down with consid
Z. cradle rapidity. He walketh fort
e. in the bright sunlight to absor