davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe. ]


White lies never fool anybody.
Judges of a debate usually decide
that both sides talk too long.
Don't try to fix prices for the whole
United States by the results in your
neighborhood-
And doubtless there are people in
the world who have no desire to be-
come bankers.
A cat never gets on the job as If it
had an intention Of Kidding the world
of rats and mice.
It also seems quite natural for the
one who is paying, to think he is pay
ing too much
When a man makes mistake he
likes to believe that every smart man
has some fool hobby.
It is hard for man to attain a
proper respect for a newly scrubbed
floor or lace curtains
An effort to break will sometimes
breaks about everyone but the lawyers
concerned in the case.
No woman is willing to admit man
truly loves her unless he is also willing
to accept all her kim
Where is the fashioned man who
believed that his pocket-knife was
really Made in Germany"
Possibly a woman would get tired of
her husband if he hung around her as
much as she thinks ne 5noulo-
While It may be all right for man
to ride his hobby. he shouldn't insist
on taking all his friends On behind.
Some people talk over the telephone
as If they feared the one on the re-
ceiving end might hear something they
say.
Although a woman who writes let
tiers, has plenty of time, one would
never guess it from the amount of
authorizations she uses
Probably there wouldn't be much
fun in opening the letters belonging to
other people. although many of the
curious would like to try 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
onaint CannihaI custom.

The Rev. Albert G. Adams, of Gin
cinnati, returning on the Leyland liner
Winifredian after eight years of mis-
sionary work among the man-eating
tribes Of Africa, was held up by the
customs inspectors because of a tusk
of black ivory he had in his possession
valued at thousands of dollars.
He was obliged to sign a sworn
statement that this remarkable curio
had been in his possession more than
it to be part of his household effects.
With this he was allowed to bring it
in untaxed.
He explained that a converted can
nibal living at the coast missionary
station along the inland border of the
German province on the West African
coast had packed up his belongings
and he really didn't know just what he
did have along with him in the big
packing case which attracted the at
tention of the customs inspectors. but
supposed 1t was all right to call the
whole business household effects and
let 1t go at that.
The customs inspector. who insisted
on having a cooper pry off the iron
straps and chop open the case. was at
first inclined to make a seizure when
he discovered the contents, but was
finally convinced by the missionary
explanation that it was al the result of
a misunderstanding.
The Rev. and Mrs. Adams are anx-
ious to get back TO their friends after
their long absence III thu wilds Of
Africa, so the inspector had the mis-
sionary make the sworn statement. The
question may be put up to the Wash
ington authorities for a ruling.
Little Evelyn Adams, a pretty, blue
eyed tot of years, looked as If life
among the cannibals agreed with her.
She lispst the Batanga dialect as well
as she speaks English, for she had
never had white playmate until she
met the other little folks among the
SIS passengers brought to Boston by
the Winifredian.
There is no danger of harm coming
to a white person living in Kamerun,
or even zoo miles inland among the
Mems If the natives are treated well, >.
said Mrs. Adams. I'VE Rave Travelled
about the country for eight years and
never had any trouble. The fact is
the cannibals don't eat people because
they like the flavor, but merely to show
their disdain.
''I really didn't know the tusk was IN
there wrapped IN a skin. Black ivory
Is very rare and an interesting curio-
Boston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

in return for all you We're ready to give
me. I refused you and-and-I went
to school to learn to be a good home
maker. I learned to cook, to arrange
rooms, to shop economically. I've
practiced here in my little fat, trying
to become proficient enough to-to
make your home comfortable and hap
py. I'm a literary failure. but am
a good cook and now I can be a real
partner useful one-if you"
But the rest Of the sentence was left
unfinished as the girl and the big white
apron were drawn into the easy chair.
Copyright. 1911, by Associated Lit
erary Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
POINTED PARAGKAPHs.
[From the Chicago News.

IFrom the Chicago News.]
But the wage worker has a boss to
blame It on
It's better to stay out than to get
married and fall out.
When you see bad luck coming your
way, dodge up an alley.
Nearly every business proposition
looks like a sure winner-on paper
When arrested for vagrancy beg
gar naturally has a pinched look.
Isn't It queer how narrow minded
the people are who argue with you?
You may have noticed that the ma
jority of our coming men fail to ar
rive.
A pessimist is a man who never
RmilesEexcept when he faces the bar
tender.
Sooner or later you will hear every
body you know say something about
the weather.
Nine out of ten of the magazine ar
ticles on how to choose husband or
how to manage one are written by
spinsters.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

stroke Of pen. If any railroad in the
country wished to do likewise it would
have to submit its proposition 10 the
railroad or utility commission in one
or more of the several states. in which
1t does. business and it might not get
the necessary permission. And why
should the railroads be Disseminated
against in matter of this kind? If
1t is right to regulate their stock and
bond issues, it surely is right to ~egu-
late the similar issues of other public
service corporations ana al other cor
porations doing an interstate business.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

readily even about food. Where it is
used there should be no other liquid
for flies to drink
The burning Of pyrethrum powder,
which can be obtained at any drug
store. is said to be most effective in
killing the flies in a room. Dropping
twenty drops or so of carbolic acid on
a hot shovel will produce a vapor that
will also put flies out of business in
short order.
With such simple and inexpensive
agencies as these it ought to be easy
for any one to swat the flies that have
gained some Roadway OF them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
JOURNAL ENTRIES

A suggestion for current converse
ton: Why not talk about the wealth
It is often the case that clear con-
science is not particularly clean.
No family is popular with neighbors
unless it provides them with a little
gossip.
Not a few neople speedily forget the
lessons they learn in the school Of ex-
perience.
The true friend will believe all the
fish stories you tell him. or, at least,
he will make believe that he does.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
HUAOR or THE Day

Lets all change our pleas to guilty :"
said one of the defendants. Its our last
hope" Hope? How'd you figure that
out?' why, we've lied so much now
that the court might not believe U.s.
Judges Library.
What is soldier of fortune, par "A
soldier of fortune, son, is a vagabond who
fights for anybody who asks him, and
then puts up awful scream for help
from his own country when he gets into
trouble. cleveland Plain Dealer.
what we want is economy" said one
statesman. Il thought you wanted ap-
propriations," replied the other. IT want
appropriations for mine. wv ashington
Star
rs Bliggins the superior influence in
his own house?" I'm afraid not He's
one Of those men who understands exact
" what their wives are talking about
when they describe what other women
wear. Washington Star.
Editor-Are you engaged to be married,
Mr.. Keypounder2 Mr.. Keypounder-Why
expense account for $50 get married at
once and let me have two columns on
Married Life in Great City by u
o'clock. And-er-congratul ations.-Judge
Diogenes hurried down the street drag
ging a man by the coat collar. Are you
sure that's him." some one asked. The
old fellows smile was simply cherubic. 1T
must be-" he said. He is a lawyer, but
he admits that he can't make head or tail
Of the Standard Oil decision st. Louis
Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
OLD RECORDS.

Old records, whether Of the navy or
any other department of the govern
ment, have some value, and the policy
agreed upon by the senate to have
them destroyed ought to be limited in
some way.
OF course. a great deal of rubbish
has accumulated at the national CAPT
tai, and a great deal of rubbish will
continue to accumulate Unless congress
enters upon a more rational and econ
omic printing policy. The wise thing
for congress to do is to cut down the
print bill, to quit printing altogether
records that are not essential from
historical standpoint.
But in the case of old records which
have material historical value, con-
gress should adopt the policy of saving
the essential parts and destroying the
parts that are of no value. Old records
worth saving ought to be saved; 1t Is
possible for congress to get rid Of the
surplusage in any department without
sacrificing records which have histori-
cal value; and then congress ought to
quit printing in permanent form all
records which have no permanent
value.-Seattle Post Intelligencer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

1.-THE insurgents are ready for a
fight" declared Senator Bristov- when
Informed that the senate finance COM
mittee had precipated a general tariff
fight by reporting adversely the wool
and farmers free list bills. And that's
been one Of the greatest troubles with
the insurgents. They are too ready
and eager to fight. when little hard
and conscientious work along reason
able lines would accomplish much bet
ter results.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
LFrom the New York Press.1

From the New YORK Press.I
A woman has so little wits that It's
only about ten times as much as some
mems
Anybody who was clever enough to
be a really good liar would be too cleV-
er to do it at all.
A woman can tell her husband has
something to confess by the way he
tries to act as if she had.
A girl can admire a man for his
baseball ignorance, but he can't ad-
mire her for her grand opera knowl-
edge.
There's hardly anything a man will
lie more freely about than how he
got ont of an investment with little
gain when It was a big loss.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

On sailing for France the other day
Sarah Bernhard remarked that Amer
lea so grows in her affections that she
will return for another tour in 1915. In
other words the theatrical tour of ne
United States which she has recently
concluded was. a tremendous success
fIna rnciaIlu
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

It appears to be a somewhat general
impression that George V did not
actually become king Of Great Britain
until he was formally crowned N
westminster Abbey on Thursday. AS
a matter of fact he became king auto
naticaIly on the instant Of the death
OF his father, King Edward VII. The
coronation ceremony did not make him
any more of q. king. It was merely a
recognition and endorsement by the
Church OF England of his assumption
Of the kingship.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

There are several reasons why Sena-
tor LaFonette will not get very far
with his candidacy for the next Repub-
lfcsn presidential nomination. Import
ant among them is the fact that he has
been characterized by some ardent but
misguided friends as 1.-The little giant of
wisconsin" That's too severe a hand
leap for any man to struggle under
with much success.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

Much space is being given in the
newspapers to the decision of several
large railroad systems in the eastern
section Of the country to establish hos
pital systems for the medical treat
ment of all their employees. And the
Santa Fe has had such a system in
operation for many years. Out Of the
west come the ideas worth while.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers Of the State Journal
away from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
each day to any address at the rate OF
zen cents a week or thirty cents n
month Cby mail OnIyl. Address
changed as often az desired. While
ont Of town the State journal VIII be
60 You like daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions. TO save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

A Nebraska woman is suing for d.
vorce on the ground that her husband
has taken only one bath in fifteen
years, and that was forced on him by
an unexpected fall he took into a river.
That was certainly the height of care
Iessness on his part
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

Another instance where truth is
stranger than fiction. A young Kansas
lawyer received a block of stock worth
five cents a share in lieu of $500 fee
for legal services to a Mining company.
The other day he sold the stock for
S2OO.OOO in cash.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

On the theory that when the birth of
girl babies predominates there VIII be
no war in the Immediate future, the
town of Harrison, N. Y, is in for a
continued reign of peace. The birth
records there for the past two years
show eighty girls to six boys.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

Tt is gratifying to note tha- so many
young Kansans were successful IN
passing the state bar examination. But
It is also a fact that all kinds Of
trouble will have to be stirred up in
Kansas to keep them busily and profit
ablv ernnIoved
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

1oung gent from Empory, who IL
at Madura (medium dark. stons c-' =.
TOUR days at the Boston university ssfn
speciai preparation for course he viii
nave to teach" Question: II FIN
pOry gent can soak up the specia1
course IN four days, how long viii it
lake the benighted Hindoo pupils to
learn to use finger bowls?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

A furious storm Of the other day up
rooted trees, tore down buildings, and
the terrific hail that came with it
smashed the window glass ir houses
and destroyed crops. No. This storm
did not happen in Kansas. Its field
of operation was in Connecticut near
the towns Of New Milford and Gaylords-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

John D. Rockefeller is getting care
less with his money in his old age. He
IS going to put up in New York city
for his son a 100000 house on plot
of ground that cost $4,000.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

POOR UNFORTUNATE SNIP!
me boy stood on the burning deck
And didn't squeak or boiler
Although the flames did scorcn his neck
And crimp his paper collar.
They called to him: ooh, we entreat,-
Jump overboard.-you ought'er!'
Says he: I'm used to awful heat
But don't know much of water"
And as his soul wen. up in smoke
ooh, wasn't that pity?)
He gurgled: while wait to croak
I'll sing a little ditty."
And what he sang 1 can't repeat
Twas half a dozen stanzas,-
Condensed, it meant: who cares for
heat;
l spent last month in Kansasl"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

John Ice. recently admitted to the
par, should be a success in his chosen
profession The first consideration in
the practice of law. is to keep cool.
Thought Of that yourself? Oh,
very wei; no harm to repeat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

If Ty Cobb goes on the ctage next
fall as he thinks he will it's barely
possible that the first hon run he
makes IN the winter time will be a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

Thy spirit, Independence, let me
snare. wrote the late Toby Smollett;
put OF course he wrote 1t a long time
before the safe and sane" bug was
Matched
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

June u. the longest day. and also
-l.e opening day OF official summer.
pensseu without comment in this col
uAliH- All recent days have been 50
.ons ana summerish that We failed to
note the passing of spring.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

some New Jersey preachers are hor-
rlneo over the brevity of bathing suits.
out instead OF tossing fits, they should
profit by the example. During hot
weather, sermons of equal brevity
would be more popular.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

The dissolution of the powder trust
Snould De an easy matter. Method. a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

The American Telephone and Tele-
eraDh company has increased its capi-
tai stock by $50 ,O0O. 900 ana with mere
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
UNIVERSITIES AS GUARDIANS.

At the commencement of Columbia
University last week William Cullen
Bryant Kemp was given his degree OF
master of science, being the fourth de-
gree that he has taken at the univer-
sity. Mr.. Kemp is past so years old,
has been a student of the university
20 years and. by the terms of his faith
er's will will lose the annuity which
sustains him when he withdraws from
the institution. The impression Is that
Mr. Kemp will pursue his studies in
definitely and. presuming from the d.
plomas that he has already won that
he Is a person of intelligence. he
should acquire all the learning that
Columbia University has in its locker
SO to say, II he shall live long enough.
Why the father of Mr.. Kemp made
this peculiar Will Is not civulged, but
numbers of weIl-to-do fathers in this
country might find the method con-
venient for the disposal of sons whose
ability to stand on their own legs, in
moral sense, they doubt In other
words why should not the university
be used as trustees for the sons Of the
rich columbia. s. c.. State.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

It takes a whole life time to acquire
the wisdom which is really necessary
to live the first half successfully.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
last month in Kansasl"

There are men who started as boy
clerks at IS week and now own a
string of stores,-but not so many of
them since the advent OF the cash reg
lister.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
KAMSzS cOAAENT
CoMFoRrARLE AoADs.


Farmers and business men in towns
and communities between Ottawa and
Emporia are working up interest and
taking hold of the improS ement of the
roads in this territory. Good roads
meetings are being held at various
towns on the New Santa Fe Trail and
on the Trail Cutoff. And what does
1t mean?
The fresh interest in country roads
may mean that motor travel is making
great increase, which It is, but 1t also
means that the value Of good roads
to the farmer is becoming more and
more apparent and more and more
urgent good farm stuck away from
the rest of the good farms with only a
rough and rocky road between is like
diamond on tramp'S vest It is
out of place. It doesn't do to run the
farm down so the natural thing is to
improve the road.
The good road brings the farm closer
to town. The poor road is disastrous
to vehicles and horses. to say nothing
of tempers and dispositions.
The brisk. increase in the interest
concerning the dirt roads means that
one of the real revolutions is going on
throughout the country. The revolu-
ton is in the direction of farm i'm
provement from the viewpoint of COM
fort. There is a growing desire on the
part of farmers to make home life
more comfortable. There is also a de-
cision in the minds of citizens in gen.
eral that the comforts of life are a
part of the assets of a citizen. The
method of equalizing the taxes for the
roads as provided in the new road law
appears to be fair one and it is prob
able that in Kansas there viii be fifty
per cent better roads in the next two
years than there are now.-Ottawa
Herald.
IF YOU WE'RE IN PRISON.
If you had gone wrong, been sem
fenced to prison, put in stripes and
shut up in cell, and then If the ward
en- came along with a suit of citizen 8
clothes for you, took you into the coun-
try, put you at work at your trade or
on farm and left you without a
guard-what would you do ? Run away
at the risk of being captured put back
in stripes, and locked up in a cell ?
Or would you just do the square thing
by working faithfully until your term
expired and you were regularly dis
charged.
Which would you do?
At Guelph, Ontario, the public au-
thorities are making just that expert
ment. Carpenters and masons are put
at work on farm buildings and farmers
set to blowing. They wear no prison
badge. They are not guarded. They
are fed we'll and sleep in large, clean
dormitories. They are doing useful
work. And they do not run away,
They joyously serve out their time.
Perhaps the prison is as great a
crime against the prisoner as any he
has committed against society,"
Wichita Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

LAST CALL for June Bridesl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24
a SATURDAY SERMON.

But he that hateth his brother Is II
darkness, and walketh in darkness, and
knoWeth not whittier he goetl, because
II IL.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-24

FULL, LEASED WIRE REPORT
or THE ASSOCIATED PtRFSS
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1911-12-12

Ollice u HOarA OF Commissioners
|Caddo Laeec District, @hresspert,
LA, Nos. q, tsii.-@raled proposals
|Will b. scceiaed q the oBcc % the
Board OF Commissioners % tle Cads
do Levce District at shresepofA, IL,
lug 20 IL o'clech noon Frida@, Dee
cember 10, 1911, for che construSsioa
of the followinN levee WoEe:
Cuba to Mulhaupt besee, Eeceons
Noe. 1 to 2, Caddo Parish, Red aaser,
right bans, nea tevce.
Section 1, Stations Q 10 ne, length
about $500 feet: approximate cone
tents 65,OO cubic yards; deposit re-
quired S250.0; bond required $3.50.
Section ., stations ~ TO s73 plus
"a, length about 9,t5a feet: Approai-
mate contents 75,lsi0 cubic yards; de-
post requivcd s370Bl; bond required
80, $4,000.
Cash or certified check to the
amount named 10 deposit mlet &C.
company each proposal,
Terms of payment: GaAl.
The right TO reject any or all pro-
posals is reserved,
Proposals will BE- received for each
section, separately, or for the worA
as whole.
Other information us to location,
character of work, manner of sub
uniting proposals, execution Of con-
tract and bond, and time OF begin
ming and completing work, as well
las blank forms for submitting pro-
posals, may be had on application to
he Board Of State Engineers, at New
Orleans. La, or TO the undersigned.
$. A. DICKSON, Pres.
S. n. KERLEY, Secretary.
November 26, 1911.