The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1911-11-07
THE DESCENT OF THE KING.
Gaurinburg Exchange.)

THE DESCENT OF THE KING.
Iaurinburg Exchange.)
Whereas, the Government re
cotton market became
The "embattled farmers assem-
bled in Alabama, estimated the crop
at twelve and a half million, resoly-
ing that in view Of the high cost of
living fourteen eents would be a rea-
sonable price-cotton eases Off. Re-
~ciprocity with anada fails-cotton
drops. Didn't rain when supposed to
another drop rained when not
supposed to-new low record pre-
walls.
Frost by some u~naccountable
phenomenon failed to appear when
predicted-cotton prices d~eteriorate;
Middle Atlantic States-cotton moves
up one point, flour eighty cents on
barrel, coffee, sugar, rice, meat n
back-band hooks, grubbing hoes n
pitch-forks all "rize'' simultaneously
Great cooperative and demon
business men in Raleigh for the pur-
pose Of devising ways and means by
which to reinstate the deposed ruler
upon the elevated throne from which
he has bee SC rudely snatched,
~whereupon it was unanimously re-
OltcO " A1Oid LAS OoSC4uIOOS hIIiS DIS
hostage, with a strict observance Of
the clause advising the curtailment
Of his offspring until his enemies
shall have become our footstool
and all 'taterdom shall glow with
silk and money. Great!
Two months later: Scene, Cotton
Vile, State Of Unhappiness. Caesar
Jones rents ene-horse crop for which
he is to pay eight dollars per acre.
which at present prices would amount
to approximately six bales Of cotton.
One-half the verag yield per farm.
There he goes now-suppose we
shadow him
Brides old Kit bitches up. drives
over to the corner furnishing store,
bitches Kit to blackjack, clears
throat, spits. Rubs hand and lower
sleeve across mouth, throws out chew
Of tobacco, takes fresh chew. Pushes
mustache back. Puts hands in pock-
cts. Goes into store. Takes another
turn at mustache. Splits Blows nose.
Merchant walks up, slaps him ON
shoulder: Good morning, Mr.. Jones,
what can we do for your" WALL,
er-sot a crop over to the McGoogan
place-come over to see if er-er-ru-if
you could furnish a ~feller?"
Certainly, MFR. Jones, come right
around into the Office" Jones comes.
n do you say this land is 10
cated?" 9Th huh" You will plant
twenty-five acres in cotton, I sup
pose? Will the landlord suspend the
rent:' Huh" alright, Mr.. Jones.
Now, Mr.. Jones, have you any prop
erty upon which to give me Sc
curity?"
Wall, I don't like to do this, but
thars Kit, ez good a OF mule ez
ever was hitched In leather" How
old. and what color? Alright, what
else "Thar's the old woman's COW.
and one SOW hog" No, she amt
got airy calf. Ain no pigs neither"
What else?" "Thar's one Dixie
pillow, one hay rick. two pitch-forks
and a grind-stun." What else %
parched coffee. six cold biscuits. two
monkey wrenches, and one dominic
rooster, the ftenest dom thing you
ever saw Anything else" LAS
fer's know, thet's about the hight
on it,"
the amount of one hundred dollars,
| not exceeding four hundred. all of
which is payable in cotton early in the
fall.
Mr.. Jones, please sign here"
Next fall when Jones gets out a
bale OF cotton, who in the-what-
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS the cotton
belong to? Jones amt got any cot
ton to hold.
Like unto an incident which oc-
CURED at a Southern Railway station:
There was a mule unIoaded from a
car 10 De Watered, fed and to rest;
and an old negro was sent tc adj
minister to his wants Some one
had fastened a cardboard around the
donkey's neck designating his 6esti-
nation, and in chewing his hay, he got
the address in his mouth and forth
Sifas excitedly ran to the agent ex-
claiming SonOrouSly. "For de Iard