davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

Emily" he began, al he sat down
to supper, "do you know why I am like
u donkey?"
He waited for a moment. expecting
his wife to give It up, but she didn't.
She looked at him with some pity in
her eyes, and replied:
81 suppose, dear, because ycu were
born So
At a dinner in a small town in SCOT
land 1t was found that everyone had
contributed to the evenings entertain
ment but a DR.. Mcdonald.
Come, come, DR.. Mcdonald said
the chairman, I'VE cannot let you e.
cape"
The doctor protested hat he could
not sing.
and resembles the sound caused by the
act of rubbing a brick along the panel
OF a door"
The company attributed this to the
doctors modesty. Good singers. he was
reminded, always needed q Not OF.
pressing. =
Long before he had finished his an
dience was uneasy. There was a pain
full silence as the doctor sat down,
broken at length by the voice of q can
did Scot at the end Of the table.
an" he exclaimed, your singin's
no up to much, but your veracity's
just awful. You're rich ABBOTT that
brick"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03
A Cleaning Needed.

To the Editor of the Evening Star:
The conditions Of some of the back
yards of the tenement houses along
Eighth avenue in the Italian district
are filthy. All manner of rubbish and
unhealthful refuse is thrown into these
yards and piled Up in a d~isgraeeful
fashion. My duties take me through
these places and I have been disguised
to see the careless conditions that are
allowed. DOCTOR.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

Dorm immortal, but it was a two days
losing fight, and he was shortly super
seeded by General Pemberton, who
turned out to be a general of even less
ability and courage. Rosecrans, on the
other hand, for this was appointed to
an independent command, in which he
proved to be somewhat dubious.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

mendouS demon
stration at Corinth,
Miss, where Cen
eral Earl Van
Dorm, at the head
of 1900 Confeder-
t e attacked Gen
eral W. S. Rose
GRAMS %, 900 men in
the - works a t
Corinth. 1t was a
bold stroke, and IL
successful would
have made Van
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03
Just By the Way
Changed.

Changed.
1t was a crime on the good old
days for a woman to employ artificial
means for adjoining her person with
the intent of deceiving man." In the
name of the hipless skirt and rouge
factories, what b%arbarians our ances-
tors were!
did your daughter enjoy her vaca-
ton at the seashore?"
"She must have. Her laundry bill
was $12 a week"
Pretty Tough.
The hardest luck we ever encoun-
tered was to be seated next to an old
man in a train going through a tunnel.
People who live in vain better move.
Their rent is too high.
In wall street.
Bear in mind" said one trust mag
nate to the other. that a little bull
goes a long ways here" Then they or
dered lamb with mint sauce.
The time approaches when we must
carry hot water bottles with us-or
a picture Of Mary Garden,
Rotten.
Customer-How would you tell a bad
egg?
Dealer-I never told any but II I
did have anything to tell a bad egg I
would break it gently.
Josh Wise says. when he examines
his tail a monkey probably wonders
what became o tn monkey thai grew
at tn other>end O. It,"
A bankrupt heart is worse than a
bankrupt pocketbook.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03
<UsTAIIHEr
MEN/
(6ONloW

Byron C. Mathews, head of the de-
partment OF economics at the Barrin-
ger High School, has a dry way Of
driving home his points.
He was telling about his experiences
in one Of the plants of the U. S. Steel
Corporation.
DR.. Mathews. a friend and the guide
approached one of the blast furnaces.
II guess this is neal enough" the
guide said.
The temperature was fairly lurid
with heat.
Much nearer the heat than we
were" DR.. Mathews told his class.
was the foreman of the blast furnace.
I wanted to speak to him, so I went
forward alone. My friend and the
guide thought it was plenty warm
enough where they were.
How much do you get for work.
ing in this inferno?' | asked"
The foreman received something like
$3.50 a day for eleven hours when he
worked on the day shift, and thirteen
hours when he had the night trick.
After learning tbs DIR. Mathews re-
treated to the comparative GOODNESS,
where the guide and his friend swere
sizzling.
you couldn't stand it for ten min
utes.'' his friend laughed.
NO" DR.. Mathews replied, Il CON
TESS that alongside of a two-ffty-a-day
workman I'm a failure when it comes
to roasting alive"
Harold E. Denegar, publicity director
Asbury Park, spent Sunday in New
ark. One of the things he got off is:
''They must be thinking of celebrating
Thanksgiving Day in Italy"
"Why?" asked a foolish friend.
'They are hot on the trail of Tur-
key" said Denegar as he lodged a
brick.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03
Bridge. behind Them.

you book agents are a careless
bunch" growled Mr.. Busyman. You're
the third one that's been In here to-
day, and not one of you has shut the
door"
That's not carelessness," answered
the agent. TITS a matter of precau-
ton"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

Now comes the time of year when
the school boy persuadeth his mother
to buy him a pair of football pants so
he can go forth to practise and break
his nose.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03
DINNER STORIES.

William do you know why You are
ike a donkey?"
Like a Donkey echoed WfHiam,
opening his eyes wide. No. I don.t."
do you give 1t upr"
II do"
Because your better hAk - stub-
bornness herselff'
That's not bad. Hn, hal Ia sire
that 10 my wife when I set home"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

Dad-so you can't live within your
allowance. Ell?
Kid-No. sir.
Dad-well. then, you'll have to live
without It for a while.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

When a gentleman with decided
tendencies towards looking after every
body's business but his own saw a
furniture van being loaded near his
house he sailed forth into the street
on investigation bent.
II say he began, bumptiously, ARE
the people here moving"
The driver looked at him, then he
wiped the perspiration from his brow.
mo. sir" he retorted, tiredly. We're
just taking the furniture for a drive
One way to prevent hunting tragedies
would be to pass a law compelling birds
to disguise themselves as men.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

The STAR extends the privilege
Of these columns to the public and
not more than one hundred words
treating of topics Of the hour.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03
Auto Speeding.

SAoAU SpCtuhnk
To the Editor OF the Evening Star:
Is 1t not time that something was
done to stop reckless auto speeding?
] think that the clear and emphatic
charge of Chief Justice Gummere to
the grand jury in regard to automobile
accidents should be posted In every
garage and constantly brought before
the minds OF every driver of a car.
The best part of the charge is that dri-
vers are to run their ears with regard
to the safety of the public. This means
that a driver cannot drive his car at
a dangerous speed just because he
sounds a horn. The driver who
injuries a person must . be able to
show that the speed of his car
to persons who watch automobiles
pass along Broad street that a ma
jority of the drivers do not try to
abide by the simple rule as laid down.
They run their cars with care. Of
course, but not with the care which
the number of people crossing the
street requires. They take a chance.
and know that they are taking a
chance at the time. This must be
stopped, and the way to stop it is to
force the autoists to act on their WI
account without waiting for the po-
lice to interfere. AUTO.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03
On the stand.

You, there, in the overalls,'' shouted
the cross-examining lawyer, how
much are you paid for telling I'M
truths?"
Less than you are" retorted the
witness, "or you'd be in overalls, too"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03
)
TODAY IN HISTORY.

October 3, 1852. the fact that nothing
like success was given a ire
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

In tho Orient salt is used as a
symbol of hospitality.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

Go to the ant, thou siuggard." But
most sluggards have to go to the
uncle.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

What was the most thrilling moment
of your life7"
1T occurred last night. / walked the
floor with the baby for w hour, and
just as he had fallen asleep l stepped
on a squeaky board"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

did YOU daughter enjoy her vaca-
tion at the seashore?"
"She must have. Her laundry bill
was $12 a week"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

Mrs. Robert Gilchrist, Of. Clifton ave-
nue.. this city, is visiting friends al
Amagansett, L. 1.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03
Pretty Tough.

Pretty Tough
The hardest luck we ever encoun-
tered was to be seated next to an old
nan in a train going through a tunnel.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

People who live in vain better move.
Their rent is too high.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

A bankrupt heart is worse than a
bankrupt pocketbook.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

Josh Wise says. when he examines
his tail a monkey probably wonders
what became o TIL monkey that grew
at tn otherAend n, itn
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-10-03

TUESDAY EVENING, OCTOBER 8. 1911.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06
Licenses Granted by
County Commissioners

MORGAN Bros. Morgan Hotel. Liberty
Gistrict. brewers license. Rcymann
frewing Company
Other licenses EI J Nulr Ioys
ins "llo,. 90 Wheeling Park. Nuhn
Bros. six pool tables. SO. f4.+ Mar.
kei street. HrInhaus Brothers re-.
iaurant. 80 81 Eleventh street. p h.
Ran. drug store. Eleventh and Mar.
kcf, Charles Kraft bowling allows.
The Oaks. Henry Bron-fror re.-
taTrauf Second ward market house.
Muhn Bros. four bowling alleys. 1924
MARKET street. George j. Sourefnidf.
four bowling alleys. Rudler's Place
ir"f Icsf.uror. lunch counter. Elm
Grove. J Y pimrcy. two pool frles.
EdCingon Lane. g. ~ Thompson.
Brinswick Hn'ci. Edward r0.ca.
hofel. ~ so 1887 Market stree,
Rehocca J NcCo'loch. West Liberty
hotel. George Saizer. restaurant. Soc
ond ward market John Mueller. lunch
counter. Sfactyarf. Hurdf and Jones.
lunch counter f05s Market. Harry
Tndo-ioifer. lunch counter. 2q00 Nc.
CoIioch Charles KraN. lunch counter.
The Oaks hho Tndorlcider. twelve
bowling a''cys. TVeufyninth stroot
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06
Ogden DENIES
REGISTER STORY
RELATIVE TO REMOVAL OF ELM
GROVE POSTMASTER.
Declares That He Made No Attempt
to Remove Smith for Politl
cal Reasons.

In the Wheeling Register Of last
sunday and the preceding Sunday
there appeared publications relative
TO the removal from office OF G. W.
smith as postmaster at Elm Grove.
The articles very emphatically de
clare that Smith had been removed
through the influence OF Mr. II. c.
Ogden. because OF his alleged opposi-
ton TO Hon. y. r. Scott for re-elec-
ton TO the United States senate and
also because OF his opposition TO Hon.
II. y. Ogden. a brother OF II. c.
Ogden. in his race for the Republican
nomination for congress.
When seen by an Intelligencer re-
porter Mr.. II. c. ogden said he had
not seen the Register publications
until his return yesterday from an
eastern trip. Speaking OF the stories
he said: They are absolute false
hoods in every respect. know just
as much about the reasons for the
removal OF Mr.. Smith from office as
has been published and no more.
have written no letters nor have
spoken to any one in the interests OF
II. H. Bodley or any other candidate
for the office.
"The announcement thar Mr.. Bod
ley had been selected to fill the office
was a surprise TO me as we'll as 10
Mr. Bodley himself. II Mr.. Smith
wishes TO know why no was removed
he can doubtless find out through
the proper channels AZ Washington
and II II becomes necessary 10 pub
fish the facts relative 10 the removal
without any desire 10 iniure Mt
smith or any one else. they will be
published"
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06
COUNTY PERMITS TO SALOON
ISIS AND OTHERS.
Large Number Of miscellaneous
Licenses-Work viii Be
Completed Today.
McFadden's

sitting as a license court. 'he coun
IS comm ioners yesterday afternoon
granted licenses 20 a number OF sa
lopuists and bowling alley. lunch
counter and restaurant proprietors
The work was not completed and VIII
hc continued 40 O'Clock This morn
ing
Those receiving licenses yesterday
we're as follows.
Sa'ooui-ts "a T. Muhn. 40 wheel
irg Park. Frank + Miupr.Erm Grove.
Fred IosfIuEor. Film Grove. Charles
KRAFT. .The Oaks" John Mueller
--ackyard. camille Eud'ar. Dud'er'-
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06

~" south. bur tho north was victori-
Gus. AZ Santiago the Americans lost
more men than TIE Spanish. but they
captured the city and won.
Your informant was wrong in sur
missing that West Virginia was
beaten. West Virginia won After
marching for five hours under a hot
sun. through woods and fields. over
bills. down valleys and Wales. through
streams and undcrbrush We feel that
u any credit is 90 be given as 20 ad-
vantage IL should go 20 the young.
sters who deserve 90.
COL n & HONECKER.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06
WEST VIRGINIA BOYS
WON Big SHAM BATTLE
'nteIli9eneer Misinformed on Out.
come OF MsneuVers Between
Troops on State Line.

The following article correcting a
publication in the IntelIigencer con.
corning the sham battle AZ West
Alexander between the bows brigade
OF West virginia and PENNSYLVANIA is
communicated by co. r. s. Honecker.
Editor OF lntelliCencer: Execution
= ''ken 10 the article appearing in the
Monday issue of your paper 10 the
'"'ct that The West Virginia brigade
was defeated by the Pennsylvania
brigade in the maneuvers which took
place between West Alexander and
'laysviile on last Saturday.
At the close OF the maneuvers the
advantage was entirely in favor OF
West Nircinia Your article stated
that the Pensylva1ians made so many
points more than the West Vireiniaps
The umpires ~ no time mentioned
such thing as points gained or lost
they simply stated that a certain line
81 defense In charge Of tho Penns,l
Nanians had been carried nv assault
hl The West Nirginians and that West
Nircinians ~ the close Of the aTsav
had driven the Pennsylyarians ont Of
'heir position and had occupied II.
The Real Situation.
The exact situation was this. After
travelling five or six miles in search
~ The enemy ;he Wozt Nireini4
companies finally located them ON the
defensive ar Coon Island They GO
cupied q log house rs block bouso
For over half an hour from tho
shelter oi woods where they could
not %" seen the West Nir-iriaos srod
on The block house and then charge
was made on the place and tho block
1ouse was captured The decision o:
the Judges was that tho West V-r-
elnians had lost thirty men I'm making
The attack and that the entire force
in the block house had been Killed
IN" block house captured and a party
oi hFe mon -crt fo reinforce tho
block house had been wiped ont This
position was taken Notwithstanding
me strenuous effort on 'ro mart ~ Tho
Pennsylvania boys 20 prevent 70
\ comparison az the close NJ Tho
days work showed tho following q.
West Virginia Iu charge of tho bioc,t
house Of The enemy" with thirteen
killed 10 their credit and two scouts
~ The enemy captured Pcnnrvlvari1
had thirty men killed 10 their credit
and that was an They had been
driven our Of Tho only fertilization
they had and DC the mancuvor would
have continued would have been com.
poli"i to faI back for over % mile ha.
fore they could have reformed
The civil war m fhe beginning DRAG
r"d along because Mcclellan VA.
afraid 'o iorc bis mon. huf WHOM Crnnf
took command things wnrr done fort
wore captured with groaf loses. hut
'h" war was brought IN speedy
close. Tho north loat more mon than
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06
ADVERTISING IN MOD.
ERN COMMERCE."
Mr.. Crehan said:

ireland. unfortunately possessed
a fair quota OF that type cf business
man 10 whose mind the mention OF
the word ADVERTISING suggested
hair-brained schemes for the rapid
dissipation Of wcalth-that sterling.
honest. yet impossible-to-move type
OF man whose mind was made up
generation ago.
In The old days TO ADVER-
TISE WAS REGARDED As \ SORT
OF INVOLVEMENT FASHION.
TO-DAY 1T Is catalogued among
the NECESSITIES OF couyerce.
WHERE EDUCATION Is MORE
GENERAL and AZ a higher level
ADVERTISING IS MORE EFFEC-
TIVE"
Tho speaker then referred 10 Amer
ica. In which country. he said. edu-
cation had been brought 10 "a point
OF great efficiency. THEREFORE,
THE PUBLIC RESPONDED VERY
QUICKLY TO ADVERTISING be
cause Il was appealed 10 with splen
did effect by well-known advertise
ments
Advertising has had considerable
influence on our personal habits. our
dress. our recreation. our dietary.
and even our mutual attitude toward
many things.
The importer seeking fresh out
let's. or anxious 20 increase his hold
on outlets already secured. has found
in JUpICIOTS. WFLI~PLAN\ED
ADVERTISING JUST TIE HELP
HE NEEDED THE NANUFAC-
TURER SEEKING y PUBLIC for
his wares: OR WISHING TO IN
CREASE Az ALREADY EXISTING
DEMAND. is glad 10 call in the aid
OF advertising.
The trader. anxious 20 sell more
than his neichbor and 10 sell quicker
and over q greater area. MUST AD-
NERTGSE IN some way or other.
1.-THE idea that prevails In the
minds ~ some that advertising
means increased cost 20 the con
sumer and that the public helps 10
paw for advertising WAS based on a
LACK OF KNOWLEDGE.
"Adver'isirS rs most EFFEC
TIVE = 4 L r = VI a IA splendid
method OF creauVC permanent and
wide flung popularity for goods that
possess solid merits. II tho goods
did not possess Tho qualities likely
10 appeal 20 The popular fancy, tho
brainiest and brightesr and most
compelling publicity within tho ca
pacity OF man 10 devise would not
avail 10 secure them PERMANENT
SUCCESS"
He also paid a great COM
pliment to American adveT-
Using interests. especially 10
the American publisher who
is doing 50 much To- make al
vertiSing as newSy as the
news.
1t is a good thing for ruSi.
ness generally that all over
the world men Of brains are
devoting themselves to The
development of ADNERTIS.
INC OF RIGHT LINES.
ITO be continued.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06

ond reading. A certificate was pre-
scented by the company. showing that
the franchise had ben advertised the
required thirty days.
A permit WAS granted Hudson
Creighton 20 lay sewer across the
Peters Run road list Of freehold.
ers selected 10 serve as grand Jurors
the coming year was presented. The
list. numbering about one hundred
and fifty. was accepted and ordered
certified 70 by Circuit Clerk John L
Kingdom.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06
CONSIDER FRANCHISE
Virginia OH and Gas Application Be-
fore Comnissioners-Grand
Jury List Approved.

At the regular meeting 81 the
county commissioners yesterday
morning. the proposed franchise 20
The Virginia OH and Gas company was
read tho first time and laid on the
table until this afternoon az O'Clock.
when % Will be advanced TO the sec
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06
WELLSBURG
Dam Celebration.

Arrangements ar" being mtbr ut
n" present time for grand c"ieiTa'-
ION ~ tn. opening Of Dam 80 n ON
Thursday. July sixth II IS planned 20
hold Home coming We. beginning
Monday july third. with tho dam
celebration u.s. the great feature dpriug
th. week. o. ls expected that $4,000
psori. will h- 90 W'llshurg ~ the
opening ~ tho dam. Tn" Board ~
Trade has tho matter iu hand. Pr"si-
don't Elmer Houeh and ATTORNEY :. r.
cochran left v.sf"rda' for Ptttshurs
20 consult with prominent PNtshofE-
,-s who ~. Interested Invitations
have boon extended 70 President TAFT
Governor silosscock and other promir-
.suf persons
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06
scALDEo TO DEATH.
Young Man Meets Death Near Hun,
louisville.

sr""is' nisp7fc' 20 the InteiIirsneer.
ELK1NS. ". Va. June 5-When an
injector blew ont OF n boiler Of A
small saw mill. which he was repair
Ing. Russell Smith. aged %. was
scalded 10 death near Huttonsvllle.
this county The mill was ownef By
the victims father.in-law. r. w
Campbell. a widow and two children
survive.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06

WhoopinC cough IS not dangerous
when the cough is kept loose and eN-
pectoration easy by giving Chamber
Iain's Cough Remedy. II has been
used in many epidemics Of this dis
ease with perfect success. For sale
IL al drnrrlsfs.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06


I'll. twentieth annual ~ the WASH
irrtou District EUwortu League. PITTS
burg Conference viii boo held in the
" T. church 81 the city starting to-
day. About $50 delegates viii D." pros
ont and aTiang"ments haF" been 'om-
pleted for tnctr entertainment TN N"
,ity The following SIS the program
for TODAY. th" opening 81 tho COM
y,utiou.
400 a m REGISTRATION; afternoon.
I g. Opening praise service James
g. Niece. gals Bible study Seven
circles a. N'truoss claude j..
Tuwuer O. N0 DT.uiu- business sos
sion thrietiiu -,lruc-." D. W Jones
Address Rev j. a Richards char
l.rHt Pa. Question SoV Every body
8 n.. Banquet Zoo Praise service 10
Speakers T. ST. Jones. SIR. samuel
~'alk.v. President T.tfshurg District
Row q. L.. Marsh. ser, IsH'y Pa.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06
ADVERTISING TALKS
WRITTEN BIZ
WILLIAM &. FREEMAN.

Mr.. 7. A. Grehan, Adver-
Using Manager of THE
IRIS H INDEPENDENT"
(Dublin), made a talk before
the Dublin Chamber of Com.
merce recently on the sub
jet
"THE POSITION or
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-06-06

ITO he continual ,