The Washington herald., 1911-05-31
ALL SHORT CUTS TO
COURTESY ILLBRED
PoIiteness Is Neither Old.
fashioned Nor PUSSY"
By JULIA CHANDLER MANI.

/ wish some good man would take po-
likeness as the subject of his baccalau-
reate address. for, in this age, when
time is money, even the young women
who are Just starting out or their real
life path do not consider that too much
money boarding is deteriorating to char
acter; that the saving of time Is often
accomplished through the short cut Of Ill
breeding.
The accommodations of modern science
make these short cuts temptingly easy.
1t is SO convenient, for example, to call
up ones hostess after one has returned
from a visit for twenty-four hours, and
tell her over the telephone what a de-
lightfui time one has had ip her home.
Nor does the ease of the enticing tele-
phone respect persons, for It is just al
simple 20 get an elderly woman over the
wire as it is for a girl to get connection
with one of her own age.
Difference Due Elderly Women.
Just as easy. but still more ill-bred.
The weIl-mannered girl writes a gra-
cious note to her hostess even If she
has spent but night in her home, or a
day.
I said as mich as this to a girl gradu-
ate the other day and she informed me
that no one bothered to be SO foolishly
fussy these days
She was excusiHg herself for her fail
ure to write note declining to spend the
weekend in a home to which she had
been invited by letter.
She telephoned that she could not come
and her excuses were accepted, which
did not imply, however that her hostess
did not think her rude.
Politeness my dear young lady, is not
'fussiness," and you may depend upon
it that you will lose nothing through be-
ing courteous: through taking enough
time to observe the common decencies
demanded by polite society
There is nothing that will so injure a
girl socially as the requirement Of a
reputation for rudeness.
The courteous girl is the one who does
things, and who does not Just take the
matter out in good intentions.
She may have every intention of writ
ing note Of appreciation where it is
due and put il off from day to day until
she meets the woman TO whom she should
have written and is embarrassed in maxi
ing verbal excuses, which may or may
not be accepted, but which, in either
case. will not deter the swift report Of
her impollteness.
Take Time to Be Courteous.
Too many notes of thanks if they are
sincere and contain no "gush,'' are better
than too few. 1t is better TO acquire the
habit of taking time to be courteous just
when the occasion demands the courtesy
and be saved embarrassment in the fu-
ture.
The engraved short cut is a rudeness
almost equal to the telephone-forms
with blank spaces left in for filling to
meet every social demand.
Some few of these are permissible, such
as using an engraved card to announce
a birth, but it is the height Of rudeness
to use engraved cards with spaces left
TO put in the name and present when ac-
knowledging wedding gifts.
ANY gift whatever, whether a wedding
gift or just a bunch of violets, demands
a personel note from their recipient in
the first person.
1 know a woman who is suffering So
cial ostracism because her engraved
forms were sent to her hostesses as duty
bread and butter notes, did not make
the appeal she would have had them
make, but stamped her as too rude and
indifferent TO write a personal note in ac-
Acknowledgement of an obligation.
When a girl leaves school she is Just
beginning her life in the world, and is
likely to make many social errors, par
ticularly in the matter of good form.
She is very much afraid of being old
fashioned and employs extremes to avoid
this impression.
But, If she will remember that defer
ence to older women is never old-fash-
ioned;. that it is never out of style to be
courteous; never ''fussy'' to acknowledge
her social obligations with a gracious
note she will spare herself some things
that women who have lived longer have
learned through bitter experience.