davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
CataIog of Daily Grimes

II suppose there's none of us better
than we should be-"
Indeed, no! 1 was thinking 1t over
last night. Why. only yesterday was
guilty of killing time. numbering tune,
smothering yawn, stealing kiss, cut
ting creditor and breaking into a per-
spirati
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY

ranter>on temperance and peace
was trying TO attract listeners on Ep-
som Downs.
Il should like to see all the dread-
noughts filed with whisky, taken out
to sea, and then sunkr' he shouted.
Hear! Hear" approved a passer-
by, on his way to the station.
You re total abstainer. 1 am glad
to ,see," said the demagogue. with a
smile. :, -
No fearr' replied the other. I'm
a diver."-The Pink I'm.
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
Loretta's Looking Glass

val ladies before. And it's a sure sign
of their ignorance. Could you love
man whose acquaintance with water
was limited, and whose knowledge of
the gentle uses Of soap was positively
nil? That is the way they were then
Even If he carried a spear and raped
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
These Won't Cause
Any Brain Fever
EARLY AND OFTEN

Him-Do you believe in early mar
riages? ...
HerVYes-one can marry so many
more times, then.
The Washington times., 1911-06-30

the dimplin' in the glow O. the setn sum-"
Have you? Bill. 5a-1
NO." says I'd like Take canoein, Bill"
- Bill Never Met a Canoe ...- ....
"But wouldn't know what say canoe Bill II
ONE
"Oh on" says, s easy You have paddle and
have the other, and that's all there is to it, s
WELL" Bill my ony that have but life to
Mamie and canoein.
such starved-lookn thin little that
which and which paddle
mans help i and first thing knew the maf
the middle the each
paddle and daring for fear hurtin that canoes
feein's
you dip paddle like this beginnn when Bill
yes Never mnd-dont show pretty home that
time" ..-.
then Belle the boat began do of Some dance,
andI he end O the world was comiu.
"Sit STILL" Bill. That's motorboat."
And Belle but wouldn't a b1ieved little
boat could make much noise shut
awful
my got and jumped-ght the mans
carried right back wharf again Canoein
maxim Bele-it requires little
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
Turn Down the Gas

He-would you scream If I kissed
you2
she.Yes. of course would.
CSilence)
She-George- .-. ....-, a.. .
He-Yes. What is 1t? '.'
She-Father's deaf. =
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
Lor', That Glow! Or,
The Deuce 1t. Is!

The Cleb was full of members gazing
out upon Piccadilly through their mon
ocles. Across the way the great Picca-
diIIy collar factory cast its shadow
upon the Mall. Soho Vas no far of
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
Our Grocery Clerk
Says He's In Right

Say, take me by the hand and pat
me on the back. Also give three
cheers and let me set 'em up. I'm q
friend of the cold cashiers at last.
l did 1t with salt water taffieA
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
Awful Doubt

'T wish Fritz would write his figures
palmer. 1 can't possibly tell from his
letter whether II is 1000 or 10000 kisses
.tSat he sends me-"
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
Fathers a Politician

~Teacher-Johnny, doesn't your cons
science tell you that you are doing
wrong?
Johnny-Yes, but father said / wasn't
to believe everything 1 heard.
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
So That's the Reason

= .she's got nerve. When ali the other
girls yelled at that mouse last night
she sat perfectly stiH'
''Of course. She had her old stock
ings on!''
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
Oh, 10y!

-. Oh, Joy! -
Husband 6ather of six daughters
Rose, there's a gentleman in the library
who wants to marry one of our daugh-
ters He's a wine merchant.
Wne-A wine merchant? Heaven be
praised! Then he will be. sure to select
one of the older ones!
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
I'M Y gu, R

WI qUeSUOII SIIO01Iu 20 - So :.
have you answer. Why is 1t
that as soon as a man. let's me see
that he is so much in love with me
that I can make him do anything I
wish, I lose interest in him? 1 think
1 want to be mastered. 1 want a man
to sweep me so entirely out of my
own mind that can think of nothing
but him. I read of the splendid lovers
of bygone days and wish I had lived
then. The heroes of the old romances
who fought for their lady loves appeal
to me so much more than the men now
adays. What do you think of a girl
like this! I really regret 1t.
UrTrTNUTyEp
The Washington times., 1911-06-30

1Y, judge there was nothing IN the world that she
wanted that we didn't give her. She-she is
only child and has had every wish gratifed,
understand why she should away"
There tearsNin the mothers eyes she
stood there beside her husband, in her soft summer
silks with the jewels cleaning on her fingers, and
through the windows the kindly magistrate could
see the great motor car with its monogrammed
doors waiting for them, and then he turned to the
small girl who faced him so intrepidy, in her
soiled and torn frock with her soft curs tangled
and her round, little face, oddly unchdlike with
i+e
The Washington times., 1911-06-30
M A ME ELLIS BELLE
That When You Read
About 1t In Books
CANOEING IS ROMANTIC

D~you ever go canoein', Belle? Neither Bill nor
knew the bow of boat from hole in the water,
but | made him take me canoein yesterday
I'd read so much in the six best sellers about
the joys o canoein' and how Dick and Dora drifted
down the dinipn' stream in the glow o the settin'
sun that made up my mind I'd find out for my
self if l drowned for it. ...---. .-.. g..
How many times have you padded canoe.
Bill" I says r.. -.. -.-.. .... -. -.
. "Exac'ly as many as I've few in an acceptance
says Bill
"Oh, Bill" says, Representatives,, haven't
The Washington times., 1911-06-30

why did you away Molle?" he asked
gently won't tell about it, You mother doesn't
know and nobody knows and can't things do
The little girl hesiaed then she gained from the
judges to
wanted dirty wanted play with the little girls that live
the alley back
the cooks baby, do
naughty and-and big be naughty
what l I'm
the kind bread oIasses and
= and please, judge don't think home yet"
Tragedy of Every Day
z Sounds like bit of of book doesn't R But it
everyday little tragedies passed in the general
the less real tragedy to the child and its
The youthful words stabbed deep the hearts that mother
father, troubles
also stabbed deep the little girls heart
Its fun to be dressed good" all the
youand that where
every luxury occasional
holiday from rules and regulations and the breaking
wealth while from around youthful lives
Don't you think so?
The Washington times., 1911-06-30

-9h =
~
.
Na-TE
=
~
Il
= - 4 a
& O..
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1911-12-26

stacked up on my desk. As | sat work.
Ing late into the twilight the telephone
bell at my elbow tinkied imperatively.
| took up the receiver.
"Hellor said |. what do you WANT"
There was an infinitesimal pause;
then q feminine voice asked:
May | speak to Mr.. Allison.
please7"
This is he" returned I In my most
courteous tone.
oh"
Well" observed. have you recov.
ered?"
Recovered" she repeated in pro
found establishment. II don't under
stand you"
THAT letter." reminded. wasn't Il
the result OF an hallucination of some
sort?"
Certainly not" She flung back the
words with such force that the tele
phone wires tangled
was quaking inwardly but deter.
mined to blum It out.
"Oh. come. now. Prunela-don't be
foolish Why don't you speak out II
there's anything"
There U.s." she cut in sharply. and
here is the truth was coming I'm
town on a Broadway car the other day
Your father occupied the seat in front
of me: he was talking to another man
lie said Too bad about Underworld
sinking every cent In that wire deal
wasn't IT, Leave his family practically
penniless. Dicks engaged to one OF
the girls believe. but of course I'm
all have TO be on now"
bit my lips TIL the blood showed
through in purple prints
"Prunella" My voice sounded
hoarse and angry over the wire.
"Yes?" hers came back In some tren
iaation.
rs that ALI"
Isn't II enough"
NO" Numbered. 1T IL not, Wher.
are your
I'm down town"
"Where7" I reiterated sternly.
AT the Grand Central station. N,
train leaves in"
banged the receiver on tia hook
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1911-12-26
MARK TWAINS BOYHOOD

lped into the ribbon borderei pockets
of her apron vision TO warm
tho coolest heart and bless and cheer
the saddest"
The author had the real Laura Of
his childhood In his mind when he
wrote that. though the story itself
heays no resemblance TO her life
They were never really sweethearts,
those two. There was never any
engagement between them They
were only good friends and com.
rades. Sometimes he brought her
magazines exchanges from the
printing office Goiey's and others
These were a treat. for such things
were scarce enough.
He cared little for readinE him
self. beyond few exciting tales.
though the putting into type Of a
coed deal of miscellaneous matter
had beyond doub, developed N him
a taste for general knowledge. II
needed only TO be awakened.
! There came into his life just at
this period one of those seemingly
trifling incidents which. viewed In
retrospect. assume pivotal proper
tions. He was on his way from the
office 10 his home one afternoon
when he saw flying along the pave
ment a square OF paper-a leaf from
book. At an earlier time he would
not have bothered with IL at all. hut
any printed page had acquired a
professional interest for him now.
He caught the flying scrap and ev-
amined II II was a leaf from some
history of Joan of Are. The Maid
was described In the cage at Rouea
in the fortress. and the two ruffian
English soldiers had stolen her
clothes There was a brief descrip-
ton aud good deal of dialogue
her reproachcs and their ritald re-
plies.
\ Passion For Joan.
lie had never heard Of the sub
ject before. lie had never read ans
history when he wanted to know
any fact ne asked Henry. who read
= everything ohtainable. Now, howey
er. there arose within him dec
= compassion for the gentle Maid Of
Orleans a burning resentment to-
E ward her GATORS powerful and IN
} destructihle interest in her sad his
tory
II was an interest that would grow
2 steadily for more than half n life
: time, and eliminate az last in that
browning work. the "Reoollertions,
: the lcveliest story ever told OF that
e martyred girl.
The incident meant even NOR.
! than that, II meant the aWakenins
I of his interest H. all history tn,
! worlds story in It's many phases q
passion which became the largest fea
hntrfe OF his intellectual life and re
. NAMED with him until his very las
: day on earth
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1911-12-26
PIGEONS ON A JAMB0REE
Drink Liquor Spilled In the Street and
Gave Real Exhibition OF
Drunkenness

A heavy truck loaded high with
kegs Of liquor was jolting across n
line OF downtown car tracks when one
of the kegs toppled aud fell from the
top Of the pile into the street. II
was thoroughly smashed. so the truck
man whipped up his team and went
his way without stopping The rum
flowed out over the street-one little
dent in the paving collecting a visible
Judd OF IT,
In Few minutes a pigeon came fut.
terms down 20 drink at the pool thus
fortunately provided for thirsty birds
The initial taste was surprise. but
n second and a third soon followed.
and soon the pigeon tottered futler.
ing away too overcome TO ny other
birds, seeing him there and anxious
to wet their parchirg threats on so
sul'ry day followed their brother in
his bath ol wicked Interference
Five minutes later passerby was
aF'uu.sted 10 see q dozen pigeons N
We gutter q The otherwise deserted
street some dencing drunkenly. others
already sound asleep \ Few leet
away a hound OF disrcputable appear
an,e Wa creeping up. slowly and n
TITLE uHsieadiy. on his unsuspecting
ana b.bulous quarry As he was at.
nos among the birds his feet went
suddenly In several directions and
ne la' In the gutter among the pig.
cons growing sleeplly to himself for
he, too was drunk.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1911-12-26
me OufzUiffing
of PruneHa
By Nellie Crarey Gilmore

I consumed many perpiexing hours
over a olscumspeci, yet sufficiently
emphatic reply TO Prunellas recent
surprising communication. Here Is
What she wrote:
Dear Dlck-Our engagement Is al
an erd Something awful has hap
understanding that makes II I'm
possible for me ever to marry you.
DO not. pray YOU. attempt to see
me: could not endure Il. not now.
Under separate cover am mailing
70 YOU our betrothal ring. together
with the brooch. watch and bracelet
you sent me on my last three hirte'
days. Please do likewise In regard TO
different trines have given you. !
do not care for them lntrinsically, but
under the circumstances It is best that
this should be done.
Il am starting for Colorado Thurs
day. where shall make my home
with the Cahills as scverness and
companion to their children.
DO not try to intercept me. This Is
final. and though II breaks my heart.
there Is no other way but to sign my
self. Farewell forever.
"Prunella"
The letter had left me bewildered,
fumfounded. dazed II was a long
time before could rake my faculties
together. even TO think Had Prunel
IA. In some miraculous fashion pecu
liar to iancees. dragged forth some al
tair out OF the past? Had my latest
escapade with a chorus girl been err
o-neously reported on the evening
Dagger? Had some one OF my numer
DIS rivals confded to her that dis
( taIt uncle OF mine had died OF con
sumption? After having cudgeled my
ingenuity exhaustively. produced the
GLOWING:
My Dear Girl-yours 10 hand and
contents noted. | am shocked. startled
/ beyond expression Our relations have
been too deep. too tender. too genuine
10 be thus lightly severed Il is my
blessed privilege to request an ex
planation; and failing In that. to de
nand one.
III you will be good enough TO In
aicate the hour. | shall take pleasure
In calling al your home. Don't refuse
FOR depend upon It. | shall find wa'
Of seeing you face to face and hearing
the worst As ever.
Dick"
This dispatched. gave my attention
10 the long neglected pile OF brief
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1911-12-26
ALFALFA As 4 ROW CHOP.

Authentic reports come from the
high lands Of Western Nrhraska,
Western kansas and Eastern Colo
RADIO. of ~ one Successful AMI pro-
fitahle cultivation Of alfalfa rs 4
row cron for market seed production.
THIS crlt' alton Is thro1gh ne me-
dunn Of windmill we'll pumpasc !rrl-
cation the water being ll'ted from,
depths OF from 200 to $50 feet with
a pumpage flow Of from ~ inches
C. 2ib inches and discharged into
s,irface a!rt exclyated reservoirs.
The alfalfa culture Is similar 10
that Of corr and gives from to :
bushels OF seed per acre. the great
accruing profits including the facts
that the cror is grown on $40 or SIS
per acre land and seed sale rang
Ing from $3.50 10 SIS per bushel,
the orginal well plant investment
rarely reaching $500.
Owing to the smallness OF the
pumpage flow the crux OF this irrigat-
ing system Is contained in the reser-
voir conservation Of the water
These reservoirs are as cheaply
constructed rs they are effectively
used. consisting merely OF connect
ing chain of surface dirt eycavatel
basins the first basin receiving the
pumpaee discharge and the hains
feeding each other TO the end Of the
serial chain.
The primary and practically the
principal. irrigation under these res
orvoirs is tat cf fall or winter
flooding. the water being turned on
the lard in september. and allowed
TO freeze in the soil 10 a denth NJ
several inches and thus constituting
a subirrigation for next years plant
ing, whose moisture is not exhaust.
ed until the latter part OF June. OF
the firs, % July.
Alfalfa row crop cultivation thus
proving profusely profitable unde,
windmill we'll irrigation pumpage IL
the high altitude lands and grea
water depths Of Western Kansas
Western Nebraska and Eastern Colo
RADIO what almost incaloulable profit
would accrue from similar alfalfa ir
rigation in the Texas Panhandle al
titudes: minimum water lifts. an
minor costs OF windmill we'll ruinpag
plan installation.
The answer TO this News question
should be the early initiation OF
general alfalfa row crop cultur
through windmill pumpage irrig,
tion which will inevitably develop IN
Texas Panhandle into the create,
alfalfa seed producer on the globe.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1911-12-26

Albert Tlgelow Paine in Harper's
Magazine
Mrs. Clemens and her son Samuel
now had sober talk and, reslizins
that the printing trade offered oP-
portanity for acquiring further edu-
cation az well As a livelihood, they
agreed that he should be arpren-
ticed to Joseph T. Ament who had
lately moved from Palmyra 10 Han
nibal and bought a weekly Demo
cratic paper. the Missouri Courier.
The apprentice terms were not over
liberal They we're the usual thing
for that time: board and clothes
more board than clothes and not
much OF either" Mark Twain used
10 say.
lie was a happy, industrious lad
in little more than year he was
office favorite and chief standby In
time n, became sort of sub-edtior
When the forms of the papers we're
ready 10 close. and Ament was need
ed TO supply more matter, II was
Sam who was delegated to find that
rather uncertain and elusive person
and labor with him until the required
copy was produced. Thus IL vas he
saw literature in the making.
II Is not believed that he had any
writing ambitions of his own. Ills
chief desire was 20 be an all around
journeyman printer like Pet NcNur-
ray: to drift up and down he world
In Pets untrammeled fashion; TO SEE
an that Pet had seen and number
of things which pet appeared To have
overlooked At Aments he generally
had a daily task. either OF compost
ton or presswork after which he
was free
When he had learned the way Of
his work he was usually free ny 3 II
the afternoon. then off &c the riyel
or the cave, as In the old days, some
tines with his boy friends. sometimes
with I aura Hawkins, gatherins will
colrmbine on that hieh cliff over
looking the river, Lovers Leap.
The Girls Liked Mark.
lie was becoming quite a beau, at
tending parties on occasion, WHERE
Old fashioned games -Forfeits Ring
around-Rosy. Dusty Miller and tn
like-were regarded as rare umuse
mcuts lie was a favorite wish girl
of his own age lie was always goo'
naturcd, full OF fun and gentle Il
his manner toward them, Though h
lplaved Joke, on them too. and va
often a severe trial lie was Will
Laura Hawkins more than the 9th
ers. usually her escort On Satur
day afternoons IN winter he carried
Iaer skates to Bear Creek and helpe'
her to put them on. After Nhiol
thcy skated partners, holdin'
hands tightly, and were a likely pal
Of children. no doubt In the Glide
Age" Laura Hawkins at u Is pic
tured with her dainty hands prop
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1911-12-26
CURIOUS BITS
OF HISTORY
THE LAST SURVIVING SIGN
Err OF The DECLARATION
OF INDEPENDENCE.
BY A. w. MACY.

When Charles Carroll OF Car
rollton affixed his signature TO
the Declaration OF lndepen-
denee another slsner standing
by remarked, There 90 a few
millions" Carroll was a rich
man. and few " any Of the 9TH
er sIaners rlsked as much BY
the Revolution In the way OF
property as he did. But the
Revolution succeeded and he
did not lose his wealth. When
an old man he assisted In the
ceremony OF laying the hrss
rail- OF the first railroad In the
United States. the Baltimore 4
ohio. In 1891 Captain Alessn-
der, OF the British army, made
a tour OF the United States, and
visited Charles Carroll. not
then "of csrrollton," but OF
Baltimore. In q Journal de.
serlbine his travels he made
this record:
AT Baltimore visited
Charles Carroll. one Of the
sianers Of the Declaration OF In.
dependence. I found the ven
cradle patriarch quite alone,
and seemingly musine.
The old gentleman, dressed In
a dark purple gown, and seated
In a hlsh-bseked chair was
rather short OF stature, and
stopped under the burden OF
years. His nose was aqulline,
and his expression was partieu'
larly mild and engaging. The
speech, sight and hearing Of the
veteran had not much failed
him. but his memory had"
Carroll was then in his nine
ty.fourth year. He died Novem-
Der "a. 1892. the last surviving
sluner OF the Declaration Of
independence.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1911-12-26
Expensive Bravery

The manager Of a shooting CALLER,
patroniled by women was glad to &c,
another pupil, but he coula no, ey.c,ly
sympathire with her husbands motive
Tor urging her TO acquire crack mark
manship.
One night when she was STAYING
alone up In the country a BURGER 90,
.. the house" the husband said.
and she had to FIRE six shots a, him
before she touched him, and then she
only sraled the tail Of his coat Its
wicked extravaganza to waste cart.
shoot" eo' y"
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1911-12-26

lula Marlowe in the New York
World
II any young girl considers that
In becoming an actress II Ia neces-
sary for her to give up the fonda
mentals of existence. would not say
that il is not worth while
Personally | would nor recognize
any art that interiered with me gen.
inc things of life.
II is because ! know tina. the stage
,loes not make any such demands that
have never discouraged II as pro-
fession either for many or woman.
All arts. and especially thar of the
stage, must contribute to the beauty
and charm OF life, but they must lot
do so at the expense OF its votaries
| cannot bring myself to think that
any actress could possibly attain
great distinction In her art who had
cut out of her life those essentials
which are 30 necessary for the full
development OF a woman. When
hear of an actress making any such
assertions, feel that II is hui the
expression OF a mood. and that she
has expressed 1t publicly is rcsretta-
ble.
The greatest things that can come
70 a woman are love and affection
and these can only contribute &c
make her a better actress. The life
Of the stage teens with examples
Our hest actresses--at least from tn,
time OF the great Mrs Siddons to tn,
present day-have been woman whJ
have had a happy home life, who's,
greatest JOY was in their husbands
and children.
The stage, of course, has its hard
ships, and one OF the most trying o
these In America Is the constant trav
81 The English actress is very mucl
more fortunate In this particular thar
are we. In London the most sue
cessful actresses do not find II nee
essary to leave their homes from on,
wears end TO the other. II would b.
happy state OF affairs II such
condition existed in America. Blu
instead OF one great dramatic cen
ter in this country, We have at leas
twenty. and the continual deman,
for change does not admit OF a elias
sic play being presented for NOR
r. than a limited number OF weeks 4
one of these cities So we are ken
continually moving from place I
place.
~ II has been said that the art q