davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
How Harding Eats WaffIes.

George w. Harding, who was the
Republican nominee for governor of
Ohio, IS very fond of waff1es.
4 have regular formula for eat
Ing wafies,' said Mr.. Harding to a
friend, and I recommend it to every
one. You eat the first IA waff1es
without syrup, but with lots of but
ter. Then you put syrup on the next
nine, and the last half-dozen you eat
just simply swimming in syrup. Eaten
that way waff1es never hurt anybody"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
Left Both Satishad.

It all happened on one of those few
surviving pay-after-you-enter cars.
ooh, insist on paying, Gladys" said
the brunette. you paid coming
down"
NO. I shall pay" declared Gladys
with equal frmness. What If I did
pay coming down-didn't you buy that
last package of gum"
Let me settle the quarrel, ladies'"
suggested the diplomatic conductor.
why not use the denatured form OF
Dutch treat?"
Whats that?"
well, you each pay the others
fare"
And that was the way they solved
it-Cleveland Leader.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
Old Women In Maine

Gray has quintet Of ladies whose
age is over ninety years. Mrs. Enoch
Merrill's age is ,ninety-nine years and
eleven months, while Mrs. Lois B..
Small reached her ninety-eighth birth
day on November 6, and both Of these
. ladies are bright and active. Mrs.
Mary A. Frank was ninety-six last
September, and is in her usual health.
Mrs. Hannah T. Rowe is ninety-one;
Mrs. Mary Leighton also is ninety-one.
-Kennebec Journal
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
A Young Philosopher

Time is relative quantity. Some
minutes. seem like hours, and some
hours seem like minutes. How to con-
troll this flight is beyond most persons,
but the little boy mentioned below
seems to have progressed pretty well
for a youngster.
The teacher was surprised to see
that he remained perfectly idle all
through recess, and accordingly asked
him why he did not play
cause" he said, slowly, "it makes
recess too quick II I play, and I want
1t to la-a-ast! "-Youth's Companion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
His Speciality,

What has become of young Mr..
DAuber, who showed such signs of
talent in drawing? Has he made a
SUGGEST"
ooh. yes, indeed. He's got all the
work he can do now"
Magazine or studio work."
He draws the maltese cross show
ing where the body was found, in the
evening papers. "-Cleveland Leader.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
They Both kneM-

The fool said one day In the kings
presence, 81 am the king" And the
king laughed, for he knew that his fool
was wrong.
A week later the king was angry, be-
cause of an error he mad committed,
and exclaimed: Il am fool" And the
fool laughed, for he knew that his
king was right.-Smart Set.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05

ed in the poems which made his name
world-famoua-
Another lounger was Sir Walter
Scott. Although he did not go so far
as to work regularly in bed. he usually
reclined comfortably on a couch, and
in that position he held his mind alert
to such an extent that he kept two
amanuenses busy.
Lord Byron composed many of his
best poems on horseback "a. K. H.
B. once actually wrote one of MS
charming essays, using the forehead
of his fayorite pony as his desk
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
Now He Knows.

To-day" remarked pretty widow,
lis the fifth anniversary of my wed
ding"
Indeed! And at what age were
you married?" asked a bachelor.
AT the parsonage" was answered.
-Tit-Bits.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
Hard-Hearted JUDGE

The Sympathetic Pal-Wotcher,
Bill! You looks bad; been laid up?
Bill-Yus, sort of. 'Aven't been
outer doors fer free munfs.
The Sympathetic Pal-Wot was the
matter wiz yer?
Bill-Nufhn'; only the Judge wouldn't
believe 1.-THE Sketch.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
A piscourauInu View.

1--WE must investigate this affair"
said the rural official
whats the use?" responded Farm
er Corntossel. II never saw an inves-
tigation that changed anybody's per-
vonal likes and dislikes"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
A Condition DepIored.

do you think a secret ballot pro-
notes honesty in elections?
Cant say that it does" replied the
painfully practical politician. The
secrecy Of 1t tempts too many men
whom you have paid to vote for you
to go back on their words
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
Same Thlnd.

Joakley right; most people
worry over what they haven't got,
because of what they have
Coakley-That so? What have they?
Joakley-Nothing = The Catholic
Standard and Times.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
Lies Varied interests.

''The weather's rather bad, isn't it?'
said the young woman.
yes" replied the nonchalant youth.
Lucky thing it is. Helps conversation.
1t would besa deadly bore to go on for
ever saying it's pleasant day"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05

Q. Do you use Postum or Grape-Nuts your
self at all?
A. Yes, use them at home
y. II from your knowledge of the factory
which you have gained in your ten years at
the factory you believed that they were dirty
or impure in any way, would you use thenP
A. do not think I would. No
Asked If any one on behalf Of the COMPANY
had asked him to testify in any particular
manner. Stated mo"
All these sworn dispositions were carefully
excluded from the testimony at the trial. for
they wouldn't sound well for the "Weekly."
Think Of the fact that every man swore to
the purity and cleanliness SO that the Atty.
for the Weekly was forced to say in open
court that the food pure and good
What disappointment for the Weekly"
But the testimony showed:
All of the grain used in Grape-Nuts, Postum
possible 70 obtain
Al parts Of the factory are kept scrupulous-
" clean.
None of the workmen had been told how to
testify
Most OF them have been from 10 to Is years
with me Co. and use the products on their
tables at home
Why do their families use the products
Grape-Nuts, Postum and Post Toasties that
they, themselves, make?
There's a Reason"
Postum Cereal Co., Ltd,
Battle Creek, Mich.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05

moved table and Jones yelled 'Supe!
supe!' We were dreadfully mortified"
II was at a dinner the other night
and Jones sat next to me. When he
saw the row of spoons and forks and
knives beside his plate he beckoned to
the waiter. Say, boy he hoarsely NUT
tered, I guess you spilled the spoon
holder!'"
We'll, it's lucky he's rich"
"Ain't it?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
A Eenefactor.

You should endeayor to do some
thing for the comfort of your fellow
men," said the philanthropist, with
out thought Of reward" 81 do. 1 buy
umbrellas. instead of borrowing them. 8
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
Share husbands Honors-

Wives of the new French ministers
share in the honors conferred on their
husbands, the degree of Difference
due TO them being infinitely estab-
lished by the "Protocole.'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
The Limit.

''Do you have much trouble with
your automobile?'
Trouble! Say, couldn't have more
if 1 was married to the blamed ma
chine. st. Louis Star.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
The Patient ToWnsmen-

Tie FdIIeHr oWhSmen.
$50 you got to work in spite of the
snow drifts?"
Eyes. But I don't see why the city
folks should not follow the example Of
country people and put up a strong
kick for good roads"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05

Of the saloon and sized up the situa-
ton. Well said he warmly, you're
Honest John, all right. You saved the
horse"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
The Cache.

Knicker-We are told to do our
shopping early.
Booker know it; my wife has al
ready concealed a forty-nine-cent tie
in the top bureau drawer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05

Some people would drown with a life
Sreserver at hand. They are the kind
that suffer from Rheumatism and Neural
ga when they can get Hamlins Wizard
Oil. the best of all pain remedies.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
On The Ties

First Thespian-Walking home?
Second Thesp4an-Yes, the railroad
cars are insuf1ciently heated.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05

Bring your will to your fate and suit
your mind to your circumstances
Marcus Aurelius.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05

Constipation causes and aggravates many
serious diseases. 1t is thoroughly cured by
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. The favor
lite family laxative.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
No Such Luck

Wilson-Do you keep a second girl?
Bilson-No; we can't keep the forty
third.-Harper's Bazaar.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
Quick az Wink

Ii your eyes ache with smarting, burn.
ing sensation use PETTITS EYE SALVE.
All druggists or Howard Bros. Buffalo, n. Y.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
ThA Primitive MN


Zones is SO dreadfully primitive :"
What's his latest?"
why, we were at the opera house
the other night and a stage hand re-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05

People who borrow trouble always
give more than they get.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
What Happened.

Fate-Did you call?
OPPORTUNITIES, but she sent word
word by her servant she wasn't in
Harper's Bazaar.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teethng softens the gums reduces In
Illumination, allays palm cures wind collie 25c bottle
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
Answered

How can l keep a husbands lover"
Have you tried cold storage?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05

Woman's True Age.
4 woman is as old as she looks be-
fore breakfast.-Atchison Globe.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1911-01-05
CURES ECZEMA
GOT HIS SOBRlQUET EARLY

dye color. hbe They
Write for free bookist-How CoIors M "a
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

"A wonder how
WIN thriving
OF tho
tcres that turning them out day and night
bottom demandr' Wont they
I soonf"
q
ber Of in a J. n WHY'S:
families.
eligible
he
In
supplied.
making
Who raising 100000 produce
eEhtecnyear Job Ia sight
1Dr
isn't q
O
Then how fast wear
Of Sellers estimate OF the market
his automobile
booming the
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30
GARVIN'S CORNER
nv KIND oF<D91oR
ny REV. JOSEPH L. GARviN. o. o., N. A.
Pastor Of the First Christian Church. Seattle.


HsH, .Esss - !. ! : sr, ~, |.
sasc We 81 not/sant one who
cannot see bey0Nd the end OF HIS
nose. eve1xr1t is
'-AoT6Nc As NUTS. An air.
castle architect dreaming for fifty
years to come and stumbling over
present problems Is out OF the ques,
ton. We want stargaxer who
keeps bis feet on the ground and
makes Seattle OF today the promised
Seattle Of tomorrow.
THIRD. a sense OF Justice. He IL
mayor OF big and little businesses.
good and bad people. and all ways
between. He faces conditions and
strives to make them betfor. lie
recognizes the rights OF all under
the law and serves
WITH STRAIGHTFORWARD,
God-fearing. man-loying justice and
fair play. Can any one ask for
morey 1t Is a big mans task. but
there are men amongst us capable
OF filling the bill.
GIVE Me A MAYOR OF BUsI.
NESS sense. level headed judgment.
Intelligent sympathy. constructive
imagination and with a sense OF
fair play Let him be an impartial
city father to all his children and
! will trust my interests to his care.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

nv MINI ~
our NEXT MAvoR7 II keen1
% guessing. We do not all agrG
Ny idea Is man the majority ~
10 elect. Such one IL more Ia
than angel. not a snob. not a soNsU
but man-cican In hts person.
habits. happy in =
HIS DOMESTIC LIFE, honorable
~ his business relations. Naturally
he must qualify. There are today
standardized levels of efficiency. I
include all those things you are
thinking Of just now. These are
any mayors earmarks.
He MUST HAVE BRAINS
enough 10 run the city business In
Z business way. and be man enough
70 respect his oath Of office. IL he
win only do this, his self respect
will make him safe. But to be eff
c1ent he must possess
THREE OTHER ouALIFICA-
TONS. II he has these he will
give the city a harmonious Gas
much as can bel. progressive and
prosperous administration. Best OF
all. you. yourself. will acknowledge
Il.
FIRST, A BROAD SYMPATHY.
In a peculiar sense a mayor is city
father and he has to deal with all
kinds Of children engaged Ia all
kinds of businesses. He may APP
prove or rebuke. sometimes spank
and sometimes counsel, but
HIS OATH or OFFICE will de-
eide his actions. II he has genuine
sympathy and can put himself in
other mems shoes, even the naughty
children will take their punishment
With growing respect for author
fly.
DELIVER us from a good man
with narrow sympathies. He would
DO more harm than good. A bad
man Is unthinkable. because he can
not possess intelligent sympathy.
SECOND, A CONSTRUCTIVE
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30
The Whole Thing Solued

crc YOU have ui reduction OF
bills growing out OF rans fearful war civil
little tighter aud observe what tho
through the Boston Transcript 70 vii
although the after the dissolution 80
BIO the
lapse OF time VIII hrns about genuine
tran
Cheer up wobhs and sputer the
may
10 their sood sword
high
coat living The land and honorable
OF all created things doing
busine nj 10 al
do 10 outlse Rcckefeller
and walt until their
OF Meanwhile tho
slipping little
Of vaudeville rastms
have wckershams anyhow 80
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

In letter 10 Jas. T.. West, ex-
ecutive secretary Of the Scouts.
Harold ParfitL chief scout OF the
Belgian Boy Scouts In Brussla. Bel
GUM. said no was very much
pleased with tho manual OF the Boy
Scouts of America. He writes:
Tho Scouts here who read Eng
lish almost fight to get hold OF one
OF your books. The work In Ger.
tainly in advance Of anything turned
out for Scouts In any language.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

Tan you draw
Next weeks contest Will be sCle
ly for the Circles young artist4
and anything In the drawing linz
will be eligible. Some Of the r.
fists might have a specially q
penning dogs. cats. etc. 50 ~
Circle. for the benefit Of special
ties. win accept any kind of Z
drawing. The conditions are thae
the artists contributions must ~
original and must be drawn d
black ink. and not in pencil q
light ink. Drawings must be ~
ceived by Friday evening.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

New York club assembled the Hotel sor to na
W1ae
Turner Bailey OF Boston told them He continued
Unless she
6houfd OF her
ladies
- be should than cosume-
claimed putting into ssouachs 80
80 Sohtg $4,000 1oov onf you,"
hS|vena ~ ND,
That's whaVfou lifetime Of TOD VI
:: g: q :: !; x! Ej' +;
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30
NEWS OF THE
BOY SCOUTS
By FRED HENRY.

Scoutmaster ]. v. A. Smith. who
left with the 20 scouts TO spend the
week In the Cascades. returned last
night Mr.. Smith reports the boys
are having a great time fn the
mountains. Forest Supervisor q.
L. Nelson took the scouts on trip
TO Laconia. al the summit OF Sno-
quaimie pass. Wednesday. The
hike was made through n raging
SNOW storm. and al places the snow
was over two feet deep. Yester-
day they arrived ut the old noun
tainecrs' camp. BIde A Wee. and
spent the night there. Today they
are walking - miles TO Fails City
and tomorrow will start the ~
mile hike 10 the Kirkland ferry.
where they will be met by over
three hundred OF their companions
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

Leaders OF the scout movement
arc notifying seou leaders in other
cities that Stanley. the young man
formerly connected with the Wild
West show. IL not q scout. as Il liz
said Stanley is hiking across the
con inent under the representation
that be ~ a scout He is too old
to enroll IN the movement. and
things he does are not approved
by the scouts.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30
Circle Photograph Contest Closes Announce Winners

Contest nrines Lots Of Photos
Interest Piessss Uncle Jack.
The photo contest announced In
last Saturdays Circle brought In a
flood ~ pictures and II was difficult
work awarding the checks. Uncle
Jack WAS much pleased with -
Inierest tho Circle children too In
the contest, The lucky ones were:
James Connley. inex LJndwall. War.
ron Holt and Thomas Jones.
HONOR ROLL
Milton Wsrrenthsuer.
0isdys Costello.
Archie Strange.
Anna sutton.
Mabel psrks.
William CLARK.
Audrie Thomson.
Peter WsiIin.
Francis o'Nsli.
Donald Moore.
Sadie Wilkes.
Cool Hidplsy.
AdsIine Barge.
Minnie Williams.
Hazel ostrsndcr.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

Joseph Naxenast. 10 years old.
owes a lot 10 the boz scouts OF
Babylon. L. l.. and their knowledge
OF the -First aid 10 the injured. {"
Joseph was picking chcstnuts from
a high chestnut tree and fell. frac-
turing his wrist Scouts nearby dis
covered his plight and gave him as
much attention as any average
physician could have.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30
Mother JOB for Unz1 stu ~

go business Baltimore.
started auny enough 70 raise fer independent
ship line from Panama
ff-sa
Intends Its sefmsln sympathy with the railroads.
~ ''''
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

Thomas Jones. one Of the CircIo
boys. has a great liking for taxing
spins on his wheel. Bicycle riding
is Thomas hobby and he sure ca
ride some. His figure eights Al
riding without using his hand
come easy to this lad and TIE
stunts he pulls off on this bike
startic other folks. Thomas like
TO take long rides on the wheel an1
he dotes on beating the other ki6o
who are lucky enough TO posses
bikes. down Rainier av. He lives =
s03 Rainier NV. A check has bceo
mailed him MS prize in this week'n
contest.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

Johnny. did you have q good
time AZ tho partyr.'
How could have n good timef
! promised mother to behave my.
seif."--Answers. London.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

Making the Best Of u.
Il don't think I care for you for
a son-in-iaw."
And know I don't care for you
for father.In-law. but with the
daughter you have I don't see how
we can avoid IL. However. we won't
need to associate with one an
other. Houston Post.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

There arc always foikk who are
willing 10 die for principle. but
What the world needs II the man
who IL willing to live for . prin-
ciris.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

UP-TO-DATE
back China help tho republic" =
laundry
Post
A TACTFUL MISTAKE
"sr, Jobos how please lady cus,omers.-
what 10
a ths ali
Mira -ousokcepcr.
FRIENDSHIP
they fricndsy'
o money. which
ia whch"-Derus FREE Press
STANDOFF
Kind Hearted friend advice
hoscd
Gamhicr-csrtalnly
ia for the fhfr Puck
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

Motormaniac--w What do you think
In the most difficult thing for be-
ginner to learn about n motor
carr"
Frankensteln--To keep from
talking about II all the time.--To-
ledo Blade.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

uusvaiiino.
Being threatened wit.i visit
from his motherin-law. husband
decided to resort 10 strategy and
thus save domestic felicity.
my dear." he sald 10 his Wifi.
you have asked me to do two
things. Ono f. TO give you new
silk gown and tho other 10 send
your mother a check to defray her
travelling expenses. | can't afford
10 DO both. but viii do the one
you prefer. Which shall II bc7"
Send mother the check by all
means" responded the wife quick.
ly. Two already ordered the
0owf ~ ffc
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

And living Ia tho harder ,ask.
too.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

so CONSIDERABLE or HIM
so you are bill collector
Yes. Here In one
Keep II. my boy. keep II. You
seem TO have a nice collection there.
Far be II from mo to break II up"
--Tit.Biis.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

A preacher not only gots small
salary. but he has TO take the sun
day school papers also.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30
Strange.

Mrs. Highupp-How was the
charity baili
Mrs. Blaso--All right, but it's q
wonder they made anything when
you consider the small amount they
spent on IL. Their expenses were
actually .ess than their receipts.---
Puck.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

Goosey. gooscy. gander.
whittier dost thou wandery
Upstairs and downstairs
And In my lady's chamber.
There saw paint box
And a hank OF hair.
And then ! knew tho reason
My lady was so fair.
= 4 4 4 4 r. ~ 4 80 4 ~ 4
CHANGED HIS MIND. 4
4 Nawgsby - thought you 4
4 we're never going TO work for 4
4 those people again. 4
4 Waggsby--l did say so. but 4
4 since that time they have de- 4
4 cided that | might come back. 4
~ y 800 tkh 4 49, 4
Too Soon.
The caye-man was gifted with
prophetic vision. and when he per.
ccived how hideously hairy he was
discomfort took possession OF
him.
III automobiles we're only invent
ed" he muttered bitterly, | should
DO setting the style In winter coats. =
That sense OF having been born toe
soon. when has II not served to rob
men OF their peace?-Puck.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30
NOTHlNO 6ERlOUSkN


Tho only way to got rid Of sorrow
In 10 sthrso Il To death.
Nothing hurts moro than 10 have
a cat duck when you kick nj her.
Mat Goodwin In still temporarily
unmarried
Wa often wonder how \ man who
chews tobacco can Ect . wife.
We notice . remedy advertised
guaranteed to proionE the life Of
old people" But we are looking
for ono tha; VIII do the trick for
young people.
Piatonic affection means a scat
la the balcony.
Tho beat nccktie IL the ono that
wears out most rapidly.
Dreams 20 by contrarics. Women
must bs dreamers-
Swearing al angel cake strikes ua
az tho height OF lrreycrsncs.
No man ought to live on auaes.
thctics.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

Boston Ia lucky in not having "a
support two ball teams.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-12-30

II was sad day for Samson
when he inauguratcd the habit OF
having wives cut a mans hair.