The Washington bee., 1911-10-21
RUSSIA'S JESTER
BaIakireff Is the Joe Miller of the
MuSCOWteS.
HIS WIT TICKLES THE BEAR
He Was the Court Fool That Many a
Time Braved the Anger of Peter the
Great-i1is Miracle of the Sword and
a Wondrous Deed of Daring.

Every nation has its typical jester,
around whom crystalline ali the float
ing stories of people. Thus England
has its Joe Miller, Germany its Till
EuIenSpiegel, Italy its Punchinello. the
orient its Nasreddin eI KbOia and
Russia its Balakireff Like Joe Nil
Ter, the last was a real character,
though not all the jokes credited to
him were his own. Some were inven-
dons of later age; others were Dor
rowed from the past. He shares the
credit for many Of the latter with Joe
Miller and Eulenspiegel.
History records that BaIakireT was
the favOrite jester of Peter the Great.
Tradition represents him as the con
stant company of that ear, frequent
ly exercising his wit at royal expense.
One day, for example, a cousin of his
had fallen under the cars dispIeasure
and was sentenced to death. Balaki-
ref undertook to obtain q reprieve.
The ear guessed his errand even be-
fore he opened his mouth
Nor he cried "'Tis no use your
coming here. | swear that | will not
grant what you are going to askr
Balakireff dropped at once to his
knees. Peter Alexeivitch." he cried.
Il pray you, put to death that scamp
Of a cousin of miner
Peter, thus caught in his own trap,
had no choice but to laugh and send
a pardon to the culprit
On another occasion Balakireff ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
his masters domestic guards Peter
consented for the sake of the joke,
but warned his jester that death was
the penalty if any officer Of the
guards absented himself from his post
or mislaid his sword. Then TO test
the volunteer he sent him up a fiagOn
of wine to "mOisten his commission"
Balakireff, as was expected. drank to
the intoxicating point. While he was
sleeping off his debauch the cZaT him
self crept into the room and carried
of his sword from the scabbaFd. BaIa-
kireff, though badly scared, on awak-
| ing made shift to replace the missing
| weapon with his own wooden imita-
| ton of the guardsmen's sword. He
| was called to parade next morning,
when Peter feigned hot Indignation
at the untidiness of one of the guards.
Captain Balakireff," >" he cried at hast,
"draw your sword and cut off the head
| of that slOvenr
| Balakireff cast his eyes up TO heav-
en-. "Oh, merciful God" he prayed.
"grant that my sword may turn into
wood before 1 use it on one Of my own
fellow soldiersw
! And, 10, when he unsheathed it the
/ blade stood revealed as a wooden one.
| Peter laughed heartily at the knaye's
/ presence of mind and restored him TO
/ favor
/ A more serious Offense resulted in
/ the banishment Of the jester Never
dare to appear again on Russian sOilY'
stOrmed the emperor. Judge then of
Peters surprise when, a week later,
| he beheld his old favorite coolly dFiv-
| ing a cart past the palace.
How dare you disObey meT shout
ed the enraged monarch. Did I not
/ forbid you ever to show yourself on
/ Russian sOil?'
/ Nay" replied Balakireff, Il have
not disobeyed you. This is not Rus
sian soil"
/ Glow say yOu-not Russian soil|
'Truly not. This cartload Of earth
on which I am sitting is Swedish soil.
dug it up in Finland only the other
Gay"
! Again the czar laughed uprOariOuSly
and readmitted his buffoon to favor.
Some historians add that when he
heard the excuse he said. "If Finland
be Swedish soil now it shall be Rus
sian before long" a threat he was not
slow to fulfill.
! This story. however. was an old one
/ long before the time of Balakireff. It
! forms the twenty-seventh adventure
Of Till Eulenspiegel. who is reputed TO
have died in 1850. Having offended
the Duke of LunenbeTg, Till was flor
| hidden the land" He purchased a shil-
lings worth Of earth to fill his cart
with, and, being duly challenged by the
duke, he answered:
"My gracious lord, | am not in your
| land. but in mine own, wherein / do
SIT. l bought it Of bOOr for a shil-
! ling. And rightfully could he sell 1t,
for from his forefathers ne inherited
| IT. So is this truly my land"
At the close of one of Gar Peters
campaigns Balakireff overheard some
Russian officers bOasting Of exploits
they had performed.
NAY" he cried. Il can tell a better
story than any Of you" And. being
pressed for the story, he continued:
Never have | liked this modern way
of fighting all in a body together
Surely it would be more manly for
each to stand by himself. Therefore
went / out alone in search Of adven-
lures. One day while TecOnnOitering
near the enemy's outposts l espied a
Swedish soldier lying on the ground.
Before he could rise and give the
alarm [ rushed upon him and with
one blow from my sword cut off his
right foot"
you fOolp' cried one Of his auditors.
Why did vOU not cut off his bpady"