davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
HU4OR or TIE DAY

Brown-That is one Of the worst be-
haved kids ever saw. Do you know his
parentS2 Jones-His father Is one OF
those scientific management experts
Puck
She-But how did you make the ao-
quaintance OF your second husband7 Ber-
tha-It was quite romantic was out
walking with my first when my second
landed on him with an aeroplane.-Aril-
waukee Daily News
Have you laid by anything for a rainy
day?" asked the serious friend. ''Y es, =
replied the frivolous person II m cutting
out all the 'fair-and-warmer weather pre-
dictions and preserving them. Washing
ton Star.
earth is Frau Borstig doing over there7''
She doesn't trust her husband out OF
sight, so she only let's him fly his aero
plane on a line."-Fliegende Blaettcr.
Isn't that Diogenes hustling round the
corner with a lantern and a big clubf''
he's looking for that college professor who
said the sun was losing its heat. "--Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Brown-J -Jones-AIrs. Smith is oppos-
Ing your nomination bitterly Can't you
conciliate her in any way7 Mrs. Black
It is impossible. Twenty-four years ago I
said her baby was small for it's age
Harper's Magazine.
Mrs. Sob, what a beautiful faeei who
is #? Painter-That. madam, Is your
daughter. Mrs. S--What a perfect like
nessi 1 think I'll have you paint me. too.
-Harper's Magazine.
you say she worries herself unnoces-
sarily over trifIing thingsT' said one OF
two women who were speaking about the
ways Of another. 'fWorries2" was the an
swer- why, she's more trouble to her
self than a family Of children New
York Sun.
Perhaps you drink too much coffee
suggested the doctor. Il should advise
you to try a substitute" "Sir your ad-
vice Is superfluous." replied the patient.
II have lived in boarding houses for tvgen-
ty-five years. s."-Philadeiphia Record
Were you seasicS on the voyaRe7''
mo: worked so hard to get the vacation
that slept all the way over."-Bunaio
Express.
Achilles lamented his vulnerable heel
1T means my wife viii always make mo
wipe my shoes or when I come in the
house." he cried.-New York Sun.
I4ady-What q handsome dog He must
be valuable Vendor-Yer bet e a. The
gentleman wot I bought I'm offs oTorin'
R5 reward II bring him back.-The
Sketch.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
PoINTED PARAGRAFHs.
[From &c Chleago Nsws.l

LFrom the Chicago Nsws.l
II at first you don't succeed. don't sue
cumb.
But It is easier to earn money than it
Is to get It.
Be charitable; you may be up against
II yourself some day.
Money makes the young man go-to the
home Of the homeiy heiress.
Most married peoie are IN favor Of an
occasional peace conference.
Everybody gets a rake on but the con-
sumner. Moral-Don't be a consumer.
Some public officials are unable to dIa-
tingulsh between a bribe and a present.
But the word stylish" appeals to a
woman far more than the word service
able"
If II takes two to make a quarrel. and
a husband and wife are one-what's the
answer?
It amounts to this: When a man asks
woman's advice he can Interpret tire
answer to suit himself.
II girl has rosy cheeks when she get.
on the shady side OF 40 people begin ~
speak Of her complexion as florid.
A young man may be able to paddle rs-
own canoe on the sea OF matrimony IL ~
isn't accompanied BY a female boat rocker.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
LAYHAWKER JOTS

Occasionally, says the Holton Recor-
| der, newspaper is chiefly interesting
for the news that doesn't appear in
| it.
ar Atchison woman sent this note to
the bank in that town where she had
an account: please stop payment on
the check wrote out today, as I ac-
| ctdentally burned it up
a lady in an eastern town tainted
and fell into the arms of a richly
dressed gentleman. When she left his
embrace she swiped a diamond stud
from his shirt. That's plain case of
using the males to defraud, says the
| Fowler Gazette.
Horriblei HorribleI Horrible! The
Mulvane News tells of a girl who went
to the cafe for a sundae and, having
forgotten to remove her gum, she
stuck it under the table. When she
was ready. to go she reached under the
table and got some gum. After the ice
cream flavor had faded she began to
get the sen-sen flavor of the gum she
was chewing. She remembered that
she had been chewing Spearmint.
Related by the Wichita Beacon: A
young woman about to wed decided at
the last moment to test her sweet
heart. So selecting the Drettiest girl
she knew she said to her, though she
knew it was q great risk: 'sI'u arrange
With Jack to take you out tonight
walk on the beach in the moonlfght-a
lobster supper, and all that sort of
thing-and want you in order to put
his fidelity to the proof to ask him for
a kiss" The other girl laughed,
blushed and assented. The dangerous
plot was carried out Then the next
day the girl in love visited the pretty
one and said anxiously: Well, did you
ask him % mo. dear" mo? Why
not?" It didn't get a chance. He
asked me first
Of course this newspaper never in
timated that the five Norton girls who
gave such distinction to one of the
floats in the semi parade
were the only good looking or worthy
girls in that town. But 1T is delighted
ncnetheless to reprint the following
from the Norton County News, even
though the News seems to have mis-
taken a little sincerity for "hot-air":
The Topeka State Journal used con-
siderable space in hot air for the party
of Norton girls Mr.. and Mrs. L. H.
Thompson chaperoned in Topeka It
pays to advertise and the best place to
get advertisement Is in a newspaper
office or on the right side of a re-
porter, but it strikes US if The State
Journal knew a certain sweet little
lady here in Norton in charge Of Mr..
Thompson's affairs during his absence,
they might not advertise her, but they
would remove their hats and congrat-
ulate themselves on seeing girl who
was a lady, not a doll or toy, but a
useful bud of womanhoOd girl who
when asked to typewrite number of
letters to be sent out to the aviators
asking help for Mrs. Frtsbie. did the
work and refused pay, saying: mo, I
am as anxious to do something for her
or any needy person as you I like to
do charity" Oh, yes, if Norton sent
good girls to Topeka she did not send
the best or all the good. We have
few sweet violets hidden away in the
grass.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
FROM OTHER PENS
THE COMMON TITLE.

"A critical history of technology
would show how little any Of the in
ventions of the eighteenth century are
the work of a single Individual" wrote
Karl Marx, the founder of modern So
cialism. He is quoted by Professor
Seligman-who is not a Socialism,
the Columbia university professors
Economic Interpretation of History"
OF the nineteenth and twentieth CEN
turies, too such a statement might be
made. Some months ago the Star pub
nshed letters rectting instances of men
who had not gotten general credit for
their achievements But the wonder is
that so many inventors, for example,
do get recognition for the particular
crowning touch which they give to g.
fairly general idea. Hardly an idea
gets crowned which has not been de-
veloped in its earlier stages by the
'tillustrious obscure The solidarity of
mankind-a solidarity growing always
solider-rests ON this social interde-
pendence of all persons in thought and
action. And that fact needs hammer
ing in-trite to many as the Karl Marx
assertion now is.
mo one, indeed" says Professor
Seligman, denies the value of great
men or the vital Importance of what
Matthew Arnold calls the remnant.
without the winged thoughts and the
decisive actions of the great leaders,
the progress of the world would doubt
less have been considerably retarded.
But few now overlook the essential de-
pend nee of the great man upon the
wider social environment amid which
he has developed. Kansas City Star
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

rupted avooations Of peace" Nacau-
lay uses the word ''avocations' to de-
scribe the ordinary pursuits of men.
And Noah Webster. for that matter.
declares that the use of the word
"avocation" to mean diversion is obso-
lete or archaic. So perhaps the boys
OF Marshall's band were not deserving
of especial criticism for using the
word 'savocations" in the way to which
Webster gives preference. and in
which it is used by MacauIay and Taft
and everybody else. for that matter,
who has occasion to use the word.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
WeIcome to WIG. but Not suIt Case


Joseph Kubisz Of Indiana Harbor,
Ind, lost a wife and a S5 suit case at
one and the same time Sunday morn
ing.
Joseph Kubisz's wife eloped with his
brother Stanley, 81 years old. The
slut case went with the elopers.
Now, Joseph Kubisz did not care
yer much for the loss of his help
meet, but he did mourn the loss of his
S 5 suit case. The more he thought of
the nerve" of the elopers in running
away with his cherished article of bag
gage the more angry he grew. Then
he went on the run to the police.
The eloping pair was arrested on
alighting from train at South Chi
cago- A little later Joseph Kubisz ap-
peared at the police station.
''He stole my suit easel Charge him
with robbery" said Kubisz. pointing
to his brother. Not a word against
his wife.
That's why the eloping wife was
freed and that's why the brother must
stand trial on a charge of larceny
Chicago Examiner.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
JOURNAL ENTRIES

No wonder Solomon was so wise. He
had thousand wives to advise him.
X
The popular shoe dealer with the fair
sex puts small sizes on big shoes.
Too many of the points of jokes have
become dulIed with so much continued
use
Il
That famous story about the Prodi-
gal Son would have been spoiled had it
happened he didn't ike veal.
X - y
It seems to be an inherent trait with
humans to pose, when away from home.
as being much weather. than they are
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

A GREAT LESSON.

Learning to walk day by day with
out fainting" was the simple message
Dr. Francis J. Mcconnell, president of
DePauw University, preached to a
large audience in the Methodist
church at Baldwin last Sunday morn
ing. In that audience sat the president
of the United States. the governor of
Kansas two United States senators and
many more public celebrities of lesser
Importance. In that audience were
college presidents, college professors,
college students and men of great edu-
cational training. In that audience
too were hundreds of plain, every day
sincere people from the more humble
walks of life And each person in that
audience from President Taft TO the
easy going farm hand listened intently
as DR.. Mcconnell explained the basis
upon which all permanent progress.
whether individual or otherwise, must
be made.
Learning to walk day by day with
out fainting-" It's a lesson every citi-
zen in the land should learn. Indeed
It's great lesson for the whole ma
ton If the nation would set itself to
the task of mastering this simple. but
powerful lesson of learning to walk
day by day without fainting." indus
trial strife soon would end. THE Girls
is and THE Panic" would be elirni-
mated from the political and financial
world If our great statesmen and our
national leaders would only learn to
walk day by day without fainting"
their example would be a great in
spiration to the army of followers who
look to them for guidance and advice.
Progress and righteousness will go
marching ahead unhindered, and tri-
umphant when the nation masters this
wonderful lesson of learning to walk
day by day without fainting"
In this day of political uncertainty
of financial depression, of Industrial
NJ a nd ~
gious anxieties, Dr. Mcconnell could
not have brought to the people of Kan
sas a greater or a more helpful, up
lifting message. Learning to walk
day by day without fainting." It's a
lesson for every citizen, in the land, a
message of truth to every city. to every
state, to every nation-in all the world
-Atchison Champion
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

which from $35 to $50 was charged
elsewhere; $40, for what others
charged from $45 to $50; $25 for the
same article offered at SIS to 800;
$500, for what others charged from
$500 to 800. These figures were fol-
lowed by the claim I'VE will save the
people of Chicago SO, 600. 600 a year.
which Will be invested in necessary ar
ticles for the living"
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

A local writeup of Major Archibald
W. Butt, military aid to the presi-
dent. suggests that he doesn't like his
job. FOR it Is said the major is quite a
soldier in the field" This will be news
to the major and all the rest of the
United States army. Major Butts en-
tire service in the field consists of his
having acted as an assistant quarter
master during the Spanish American
war. which was of four months dura-
ffou
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

Mr.. Bryan's reply to Mr.. Taft's
challenge is the sorriest sort of a quib-
BILE Mr. Taft asked Mr.. Bryan to pro-
duce an example of a restraint of
trade that would not come within the
decisions of the supreme court in the
Standard Oil and Tobacco trust cases.
M=. Bryan answers that these decisions
have nullified the criminal clause Of
the antitrust law and that he will wait
until the president puts a trust mag
nate in Jail before he will give any
weight to MI Taft's defense of the de-
cisions of the supreme court. In other
words, Mr. Bryan lodges entirely the
challenge issued to him by Mr.. Taft.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELoI

TFrom the New York Press.I
A woman expects romance out OF love
and gets housekeeping.
A man might much better lose his latch
key than forget his excuse
The trouble with family picnics is they
last so much longer than funerals.
Even a woman school teacher is glad
to have man try to teach her the al
phabet-
The way a man explains to his wife
how a sinking fund works for public
bonds it might as we'll be a flying ma
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

There was a sensational reaction and
wild rush to buy on the stock market
the other day. Maybe the unusual and
rather inexplicable depression in Wall
street Of late has been due to a care
fully planned maneuver to get the
public to unload valuable stocks so
that the interests could buy them in
at considerably less than their real
value. Such things have been done
on Wall street before.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

Perhaps Jack Johnson is not so de-
lighted as he once said he was with
his treatment in England. He had to
90 to court there the other day to
defend himself against the charge that
he was planning to commit a breach
of the peace in his proposed fight with
Wells. This is a legal procedure that
is unknown in this country, and it
seems to have much to recommend It.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
sOMETHING WRoNG-

Michigan had the greatest fruit crop
in its history this year. The orchards
were loaded with peaches and pears
and such things. There was such an
abundance that they couldn't be given
away, and so countless tons of fine
fruit have rotted on the ground and
still are rotting there.
A Michigan man went to Chicago to
see IL there wasn't some way to dis
pose Of all this fruit. The commits
sion men wouldn't touch the PROPOSE
ton at all There wasn't any money
i'll it. The dealers in Chicago are SELL
ing fruit shipped in from the Far West
at fancy prices. The poor people, to
whom fruit would be a godsend, can't
afford this high-priced stuff, and have
to go hungry for peaches and pears,
with mountains of such fruit rotting in
nearby orchards.
It's hard to figure out just what is
wrong, and harder still to suggest p
remedy, but che fact that something is
wrong, when such conditions can exist.
is patent to Emporia Ga
zctte.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

The denomination of Governor Eu-
gene W Foss of Massachusetts as the
Democratic standard bearer for the
next governorship of that state calls
attention to the fact that the people
of Massa achusetts have even more
trouble in one respect than do those
of Kansas. They have a state election
in Massachusetts, every year.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

DR.. Wiley capitaIizes the nations
health a ts54o. OO0,OOO,00O. Does any
one doubt now that it is worth con-
serving and Protecting?
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

One of the medical journals asserts
that the automobile is a valuable
therapeutic agent in nervous affec-
tions. notes the Chicago Record-Her-
aid and it explains: The way to get
the best results is to be in the auto
mobile instead of in front of it.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

Yale's oldest graduate. Judge Henry
p. Hedges. of Bridgehampton, is dead.
This makes some other man YaIe's
Oldest graduate.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

Indian summer seems to have ar
rived with considerable intensity a few
moons ahead OF its usual schedule.
And the ice man keeps right on smil-
ing, much to the discontinue of the
coa1 man
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

Swatting the fly is evidently not
without its dangers. One of Indiana's
young women broke her wrist the
other day as q result of taking q swat
at one of the pesky critters.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

missed being a Solomon by a large
margin. He has held that a combi-
nation of laundrynen can not be
prosecuted under the antitrust law
because 1.-The washing and ironing of
q shirt is neither trade nor commerce. -
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

The attention OF Topeka's orthograph-
icaI purist is called to the fact that in
his principal address at Topeka Presi-
dent Taft spoke of the soldiers who
survived the Civil war as going back
TO their homes to resume the inter
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

italy plans to carve a juicy hunk
out of Turkey in the immediate future
regardless of the fact that Thanksgiv-
ing Day is vet two months away.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

stood on the line of march of the pa
rades in honor of President Taft, is
certain that Mr.. Taft took especial
pains to bow to her individually.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

scientific explanation OF the fact that
q plain drunk always insists upon hav-
ing some one agree with him.
The weather may have nothing to
do with it. but the fact remains that
a half dozen divorce suits filed in the
local court during the July hot spell
were dismissed on the first cool day
! in September. Possibly the first
chance the abused wives had to cool
The agitation against the steel trust
may not result in the dissolution OF the
trust, but IL will offer a perfectly
lovely opportunity for the big ones to
skin the little holders of steel stock.
AS President Taft swings around the
circle, much is said and printed about
Major Archie Butt. the lady killer OF
the party, and very little about the
gentleman killers who stick TO Hon.
Taft like cockleburns. It is the secret
service men who get the rough end OF
the presidential trip; they have to
crush in where Archie Is invited;
when Leading Citizen gives a lunch
con for Hon. Taft. Major Archie is in
cluded in the invitation, but the gun
men pipe the feed from the dining
room window.
Over in East Atchison there Is a
saloon-the nearest to the end OF the
\ bridge-popularly known as the Gold
NINE IL is said that the owner, one
Pete Parsons, planted $500 three years
ago, and has up to date banked about
s35. 5.0OO-and most of it Kansas
money.
The moral Of the above seems to be
that one may drink champagne on a
beer income-providing the income is
from the sale thereof.
It pays a man to keep on the right
side of his wife, unless by chance. she
is deaf in the left ear.
Conner Davies travelled all night 20
get to Bale Waggener's picnic. but ne
I brought a good story with him. In
the morning he discovered the sleep
ing car porter searching frantically
for his other shoe. "Fo gawd. Mistah."
said the frightened shine, "Ah done
los one of you'alls shoes. Somebody
jes' nachelly snook IN hyah an swipe
dat shoe"
Pretty soon old man Frost Will come
will have to find something else to
swat The English sparrow is hereby
nominated.
Mistah Johnsing has spent $4,000
since he whipped Jeffries. and as that
was his total, he is rapidly approach
! ing the time when he will have to
wear vests instead OF waistcoats.
Sympathize with the poor simp who
has to get drunk every Saturday night
How he must dread the ordeali
Hep
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

An Arkansas mob has relieved the
monotony by lynching white man.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
ESTETa 1Sz~SE5I5
.f8

There is still a field for investiga-
ton by the scientists. We desire n
scientific explanation OF the fact that
plain drunk always insists upon hav-
ing some one agree with him
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
SCHOOLS OF CRIME.

The number of inmates of our public
prisons is increasing, and the whole
subject increasingly demands the most
serious consideration by sociologists
and legislators. The time is ripe for
change for the better.
The old idea was to punish, and in
that way correct; but punishment has
been tried for years and has failed
The housing under the same roof and
under practically the same conditions
of both young and old has in part been.
discontinued but there is yet much to
be done to satisfy a fair-minded pub
lie.
Misdemeanants should not be housed
with malicious criminals, for by so do
ing there is grave danger that the in
stitutions intended for good purposes
may really become schools of crime.
Men with large hearts and clear
heads should be placed at the head of
these institutions, and more brains and
less brute force should be employed
to gain the results desired by ALL
Boston Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

The weather may have nothing to
do with it. but the fact remains that
a half dozen divorce suits filed in the
local court during the July hot spell
were dismissed on the first cool day
in September. Possibly the first
chance the abused wives had TO cool
off.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

The agitation against the steel trust
may not result in the dissolution OF the
trust, but IL will offer a perfectly
lovely opportunity for the big ones to
skin the little holders of steel stock.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29
SOUL IN THE CORPORATION.


A tramp who had been put off
Rock Island train fell into a vat of
boiling water while seeking a place to
sleep. The whole train schedule was
disarranged in order that a special
train which rushed the tramp to hos
pital, should have the right of way
The souIlessness of the soulless cor
poration has its frontier It may be
without heart in the com petition for
business. without conscience in gain
ing its earnings out of passengers and
shippers. But when the appeal of hu-
man suffering is made to 1t. it can for
get that its policy is to keep labor at
its lowest wage, to pay for personal
hurt only if it must, to gouge and.
sometimes, to cheat Where spontan-
eous impulses are generous there is no
real danger that any policy of industry,
developed out of commercial condi-
tions will ever become fixed, however
profitable it's meanness and cruelty
may prove to be.-Toledo Blade
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

Brown-That is one Of the worst be-
haved kids ever saw. DO you know his
parents2 Jones-Ifis father Is one OF
those scientific management experts
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

The moral of the above seems to b,
that one may drink champagne on
beer income-providing the income q
from the sale thereof.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

It pays a man to keep on the righ
side of his wife. unless by chance, sh
is deaf in the left ear.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

Pretty soon old man Frost viii come
alone and swat the flies, and then we
VIII have to find something else to
swat. The English sparrow is hereby
nominated.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

She-But how did you make the ac-
quaintance OF your second husband3 Ber-
tha-It was quite romantic. I was out
walking with my first when my second
landed on him with an aeroplane--Afil-
waukee Daily News.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

Mistah Johnsing has spent $4,000
since he whipped Jeffries, and as that
was his total, he is rapidly approach
ing the time when he will have 70
wear vests instead OF waistcoats.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-09-29

Have you laid by anything for a rainy
day?" asked the serious friend. ''Y es, =
replied the frivolous person I'm cutting
out all the fair-and-warmer weather pre-
dictions and preserving them. Washing
ton Star.