The broad ax., 1911-01-21
BINGS' BARGAIN
And the Way He Turned His
Purchase to Account.
By LAURA ALTON PAYNE.

pied cherub. patting the bald spot that
spread like a small shining desert in
an oasis Of thick blond hair on Bings'
well shaped head.
Whltlock grinned.
Mammals pet mustn't be naughty"
said the pretty widow. turning her
brown eyes apoIogetically on Bings.
Come To mamma. dearie. Mr.. Bings
isn't used to babies"
But the dimpled cherub. otherwise
Baby Mohatt, who had purpOsely and
after many backslidlngs climbed upon
the rustic seat occupied by Bings. for
whom she had evinced a decided par
tiality from the start. only snuggled
the closer to the secretly delighted
Bings and cOOed. Baby owe Bings,"
then as a happy afterthOught. Nam
ma owe Bings." at which frank and
wholly unexpected revelation OF her
small daughter the pretty widows face
rivaled Bings.
WhItlock guffawed. "NOw's your
chance. Bings." he urged. with mali
cious levity at his rivals discontinue.
But Bings. with a haSty adieu. fed.
leaving the cherub diScOnsolate.
Bings metaphOrically kicked himself
all the way home for not taking ad-
vantage OF the best opportunity he had
ever had. even II IL was before the
sneering WhitlOck. and for his cow
ardly desertion Of the pretty widow to
Whitlock's cauStic ralllery.
Bings paused mt his own gate and
gazed miserably at the big silent house.
he shut his eyes a moment and imag-
Ined he saw the pretty widow and the
cherub sitting on the front porch. II
was a blissful vision. but Bings felt
that II would never become a blissful
reality unless a miracle happened.
Bings was a bachelor. Bings was big
and blond and bald. Bings was BASH
ful-in fact. BingS was whole swarm
Of "B's." He narrowly escaped being
a beauty with his baby complexion
and innocent blue eyes. His size was
the only thing that saved him from
this terrible fate. Moreover. Bings
was a bargain iend. No woman could
scent a bargain sale farther or than
could Billy Bings. Incidentally Billy
was the climax TO Bings' woes. But
no persuasion on his part could con-
vince his. friend Of the absurdity Of
calling a six fOoter Billy.
Bings' bachelOrhOOd was a condition
Of neither birth nor achievement-it
was thrust upon him. During his evo-
luton into that state there had been
any one OF dozen maids and widows
that Bings would have been only too
happy to have endowed with half his
worldly goods but for his excessive
bashfulness. Never yet had be been
able to screw his courage up to the
point Of proposal. though be had made
almost superhuman efforts In that dl-
rection.
This seemed a pity. for Bings was
cut out for a benedict. he
thought all women angels and all ba-
bies cherubs.
AS he started uptown on the mo-
morning after his precipitate
dight BIngs had particular cherub In
mind-a pretty. brown eyed. dimpled
cherub that he would have given half |
be was worth to possess and the other |
half to possess the cherub's pretty, |
brown eyed mother. But so far every |
glance from Mrs. Jessie Moffat's |
'ogulsh eyes had produced the unfor- !
.unate effect Of instantaneous paraly- |
IFS Of poor Bings' tongue. so that be |
,ould only stand dumb or blush and |
'tammer like any silly schooIboy.
This was not the first time by any |
means that Bings had performed that
feat. 1t had been at least
! semiweekly occurrence for several |
months past. Each time Blngs vowed
hat the next time be would not act /
he fool. But he did. he had reached
he point where the inevitable mental
eat was coplously punctuated with a
'igorous ejaculation that would have
hooked the pretty widow had she
leard Il.
Bings felt his helplessness bitterly.
10 absorbed was he IN his thought as
Ie picked his way along the shady
treet that be failed to observe the
widow a block or so ahead Of him. A
eep gloom enveloped BIngs' soul that
right June morning.
''Confound it, he muttered. IF
doesn't happen soon Pn''-
Going. going-gOneT'
Bings pricked mp his ears and has
ened his steps. An auction and he
OF to know It. Turning a corner. he
anne full upon a familiar scene Just
5 a table was knocked down to the
ighest bidder. Blngs' eyes gloated
yer the unusual display Of household
oods spread before him.
Fifty cents!' bid a voice In the
rowd as the auctioneer held up an
rticle II was Whitlock's voice.
'ings' wrath famed up. and before be
ad time to think he was bidding fu-
ously against his rival. Fast IN the
rip Of bargain fever" and whetted
a BY Whitlock. Bings rapidly became
ossessor Of various articles that were
as much use TO him at that period
Z hfa aTfafanpo na q ,a1,ukfnn 1 4