davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
UNCLE SlLAS SULKED.
What Aunt Melissa Had to Say When
She Heard the News.

She Heard the News.
Aunt Melissa Spigott was such an
exceedingly energetic talker that the
youngsters of the family used to sup
pose that her tongue must be copper
toed. because II never wore out. Uncle
SiIas. on the other hand, was as eco
nOmical of words as a marketman Is
of early strawberries.
The too free exercising Of this IN
ruly member OF Aunt Melissa's on one
occasion gave Uncle Slas serious Of
Tense. which he manifested by a Sc
we're silence lasting for several days.
At the end Of that period one of the
older daughters approached her mother
upon the subject with the remark.
ma. seems like you ought TO make up
with pa by now"
Make up with pa" exclaimed Aunt
Melissa In great establishment Make
up whatf"
why" returned the daughter,
don't you know poor pas feeling bad
YETI He's still hufiing"
Huntington the lands sake! How
longs he been a-huffing"
Ever since you came down on him
80 hard about wasting sugar by not
stirring his coffee; that's three days
ago"
why, you don't tell me, JAMIE
Maudw Aunt Melissa looked amazed
"Your pore pa. Been a-huffing for
three days, and | never mistrusted a
thing Of itw-Youth's Companion.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
Escaped the Bullets.

DR.. James Craik. who was Washing
toms family physician, was with the
Father OF His Country in the expe-
dition against the French and Indians
In 1854. and the next year he attended
General Brsddock in his fatal cam
paigning. Fifteen years later. while
exploring wild lands in the western
districts OF Virginia, DR.. Craik Ell
countered band OF Indians led by an
aged chief, who informed the physi-
clan through an interpreter that he
had made a long journey to see Colo
mel Washington. at whom in the battle
of Monongahela he had fired his rife
fifteen times and ordered all his young
men to do the same. In fact, Wash
ington had two horses killed under
him that day, and his coat was pierced
with four bullets, yet be left the battle
field unscratched
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
AN ENGLISH ORGANIZATION.
In One Year 1880 Did . Cooperative
Business Of $4,000, 900.

In One Year 1880 Did . Co. operative
Business Of $4,000, 900.
In England the farmers have an
agricultural organization or association
which has been very successful At
the end Of 1909 there were 1921 socie-
ties In the organization, with 1850
members. Both buying and selling
were done, and during the year there
was a total business of about $4,3OO,-
0OO There were also 1903 other socie-
ties outside Of the large organization.
These organizations insure property,
buy seeds, fertilizers, grain and ma
chinery and sell all sorts of farm
produce. There are fifteen egg and
poultry societies." They sold over
e85,OOO worth Of their produce, and
eighteen dairy societies sold $500, 900
worth. Most Of this was evidently
handled by parcels post. The English
government, through the board of ag-
riculture, gives financial aid to the soci-
ETY. because 1t helps to organize farm
crs, and this helps consumers by en-
abling them to get closer to producers
1t would be impossible for these Eng
nsh societies to do this great business
II they were held up, as our farmers
are, by express extortion and middle
men, remarks the Rural New Yorker.
1t appears that cooperative buying
and selling are the salvation Of the
English farmer.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
Thirty Years Together

Thirty years of assocation-think of
it. How the merit of a good thing
stands out in that time--or the worth
lessness of bad one. So there's no
guesswork in this evidence of Thos.
Ariss, Concord, Mich, who writes: 81
have used DR.. Kings New Discovery for
80 years, and its the best cough and
cold cure | ever used, Once it finds
entrance in home you can't pry it out.
Many families have used it forty years.
It's the most infallible throat and lung
medicine on earth. Unequalled for la
grippe, asthma, hay-fever, Group, quinsy
or sore lungs. Price Soc, $l.00. Tria
bottle free. Guaranteed by John w
Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
THUNDERST0RMS.
They Kill Over 800 Persons . Year In
Madagascar.

Madagascar.
Thunderstorms never occur In the
arctic regions, and even the north OF
Scotland very seldom suffers from
such a visitation. The nearer you get
to the equator the more frequent and
severe are the electric manifestations.
In parts of Central Africa the average
Of thunderous days rises to the aston
ishing total OF 250 per annum.
Yet there are curious exceptions. In
Java and Sumatra, both intensely hot
climates, there are but ninety-two
storms yearly. and in Borneo only
fifty.
The Gold coast of Africa has only
sixty a year. which is less than occur
In Florida. though the latter country
Is outside the tropics.
In Jamaica there is a thunderstorm
every day during the rainy season,
which lasts for FIVE months. These
storms almost always occur between
midday and In the afternoon.
Perhaps. the most astonishing fact
with regard to thunderstorms is tina,
the island Of Mauritius, which Is only
$50 miles east OF Madagascar, has, on
an average. only one thunderstorm In
eighty years. Yet in Madagascar the
lightning is more destructive than any
where else in the world. the annual
death roll being over 300.-Pearson's
Weekly.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11

If anybody were asked to suggest
why the soup plate was made broad
and shallow the almost certain answer
would be that such an arrangement
facilitates the cooling Of theIsoup to a
temperature comfortable to the mouth.
We believe that utilitarians drink tea
out Of saucer for the same reason.
While that may be the explanation Of
the peculiar shape of the soup plate,
the advantage indicated is surely IN
significant compared with the obvious
disadvantages which may probably
arise from exposing so large surface
of nutrient fluid to the air. Soup
should be served in cup, a low broad
teacup, and the method, which is be-
coming more usual, is hygienic. Too
deep a vessel would be an error on the
other side. Its advantages would be
cancelled by its great drawback. We
should miss some of the delicate fla
vors of the soup.-London Lancet.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
THE GRANGE
Coneaeied By
Nv. DARRox. Chsihsrn. N. To
Edcor q p.< ys,r York staie Grange
Rersezr
LOOKING FORWARD.
The National Grange Will Meet In
Columbus, o., In November.

The National Grange Will Meet In
Columbus, o. In November.
Already the next session Of the Ms
tional grange In attracting the atten-
ton Of the Patrons throughout the
country. many Of whom are planning
10 attend from nearby states. The b.
ennial election Of officers then occurs,
which always adds interest TO the
meeting. Columbus, o., IL the place.
and It Is likely TO prove an ideal con-
vention city. Not only Is It beautiful
in location. with ample conveniences
for such a session, but II Is we'll locat-
ed, a logical grange center for a large
part of the members Of the country.
while even those living on the Pacific
coast will find the Ohio metropolis an
ideal place to visit.
While the voting representation at
an annual session Of the national
grange is scarcely more than fifty. still
good sized delegations from many sec
tons always attend. excursions are
usually run from distant points. and
the nearby members OF the Order al
ways turn out in great numbers In
appreciation Of having the national
grange session brought near TO them.
With the assembly continuing from
ten days to two weeks and of intense
interest throughout, this Is great at
traction for the Patrons. and every
one goes who can. Great uplift and
inspiration invariably result from at
tendance upon the annual session, and
by no other method can enthusiasm
and activity In the Order be equally
promoted.
State Master T. c. Laylin and his as
sociates are already hustling TO get all
the convention arrangements In order
to give the Patrons Of the country a
royal welcome. Ohio never does any
thing by halves, certainly not when II
comes to extending its hospitality to
their friends from other states. Every
detail Of the approaching national
grange session will be carefully antici'
pated, efficient committees are already
hard at work, and royal welcome Will
be in store for every one who turns
his steps toward Columbus next No
vember.-Natonal Grange Monthly.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
SANDY'S ScRUPlES.
They Almost KEEP, I'll. Tourists Frsm
Getting the Beat

ScNtifs tnc Boat
A couple Of tourists staying at q vi
lAge which is in close proximity 70 4
well known Scottish loeb had q fancy
one fine Sunday TO go for a row on the
loch. They accordingly sailed forth
IN search Of the bOstman, whom they
met just leaving his house. dressed in
his Sunday best and carrying q Bible
under his arm.
we want to 20 for a row." said one
Of the tourists.
"Dae We no ken it's the SawbathY 2
answered Sandy. yen no get a boat
fra me the day. forby I'll hae ye tae
ken that am an elder O. the kirk"
yes, yes" eXpostulated the tourists,
that's all very well for you, but we
don't require you with US. You can 90
20 church; we can row ourselves"
AYE, aye" said the elder, but jist
think whit the meenister u say"
Never mind the minister" was the
reply; he will know nothing about IT.
We will pay you well"
"Ah. weel," said Sandy, I'm no let
We the boat. bit I'll tell ye whit I'll
dae. Dae We see yOn wee boatie doom
among the rushesi Weel. she's ready
wi the oars inside Jist ye gang doom
there an row DOT tae the middle o
tire loch, an I'll come doom tae the
bank an swear at ye. Bit never ye
mind; We jist row on an I'll call fol
the money on Monday" - London
Ideas
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
CROWNED HIMSELF.
An Impromptu Ceremony In Which
King George W. Figured.


That was q curious sort Of impromp-
tn coronation in which his majesty
King William ". of England figured.
Things did not go very well with Earl
Grey's government after the second
reading of the first reformed bill had
been carried by a majority Of one In
1881, and one Friday in April they
suddenly got the king TO go down and
prorogue parliament in person. Some
body went off to the Tower to fetch the
crown, and with a scratch body Of at.
tendants his majesty drove down to
the house of lords. What happened
there is described In Greville's mem
oirs.
The king ought not properly to have
worn the crown, never having been
crowned, but when he was In the rob-
ing room he said to Lord Hastings:
Lord Hastings, wear the crown.
Where is itT' 1t was brought to him,
and when Lord Hastings was going to
put it on his head he said, Nobody
shall put the crown on my head but
myself" He put it on and then turned
to Lord Grey and said, Now, my lord,
the coronation is over"
The crown did not fit very well, we
are told, but the propagation was sue
cessfully effected.-London Chronicle.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
A FAMOUS DWARF.
eerulvsaski, the Pole, Was Handsome,
Scholarly and Witty.

Boruivsaski, the Pole, Was Handsome,
Scholarly and Witty.
A notable dwarf. who had long
lease of life over parts Of two centu-
ries-he was born In 1889 and died In
1S37-was Borulwaski. the Pole, Of
whose debut an interesting tale is
told AS boy OF fifteen, when he
was Just one inch higher than a two
foot rule, Borulwaski was presented
to the Empress Maria Theresa, who
was 80 charmed by his good looks and
grace that she seated him on her lap
and gave him a hearty kiss. To the
queens question as to what he con-
sidered the most interesting sight In
Vienna the dwarf replied. What l
now behold. 30 little a man on the lap
of 30 great a lady" This speech rem
dered the little fellow a great favor
lite.
He became a special favorite of
Stanislaus H.. who took him to Eng
land and introduced him to George
I'LL, and for more than half q century
Borulwaski made his home at the
English court.
This dwarf, who at his tallest was
a yard and three inches. had sister
whose head Just reached her big broth
ers shoulders. Borulwaski was not
only handsome and courtly man. but
scholar Of repute. He lived in FIVE
reigns. and when he died. lacking only
"a
mark, he was laid to rest In Durham,
side by side with the Falsta ffian
Stephen kemble.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
Costly Privacy.

Although a waiter. he was very hu-
man. so when he perceived that the
young couple who had been assigned
to his table had many matters tender
and confidential under consideration
be retreated TO a respectful distance
and stared at the opposite wall. The
restaurant proprietor disapproved Of
that humanitarian attitude.
Don't stand away back there" he
said. go up and hang over that fell
lows chair back for awhile"
"Oh. no." expostulated the human
waiter "Tbey want to talk"
"Of course they do" the proprietor
retorted- THAT is why I want you TO
butt In. Every time you come near
they will send you to the kitchen for a
fresh order to get you out of the way"
New York Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
Grim Relics.

A prison sale is held annually in
Paris. The articles offered for sale
are the clothes Of murdered people,
the instruments with which the crimes
have been committed and the effects
which have belonged to the deceased
prisoners. Articles which have been
taken to the prefecture Of police and
have not been claimed are also sold
The proceeds go to the Paris aims
house. Unclaimed jewelry is usually
bought by ordinary brokers. but the
articles which have belonged to GRIM
inals. especially those who are noto-
rious. are bought at high prices.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11

far as the general pubic d. l.-..---,
Many Of these trees are rf IN
size The famous Queen %
est" Is a prehistoric raE-..r -.
eighty feet long and nr-r.r --a.-. F. %
In diameter. II has bee- f-..-
several places. and these l-.-t....- "a
clean as II cut OF with d sl~ -.
has grown up through one a. ,ral.---s
and has attained quite ra-g. ~.
Another giant tree known r.. ..,r--
arch" Hes near by. whit. 49,.
ninety feet long and is ~r..r,
break This tree Is a On. -..r .--.----
ten feet in diameter Not r.- 80.
another giant son Of the forest =. ~
wood that Is about sixty .a., I.......,
nine feet In diameter -... .l. ~
broken into many HUNDREDS ~ ,...-'
yet II retains its shape .al.r 49,.
ly. Scattered about fn- ... --..
several acres are many u'lpr r...g ~ y,
petrifactOn. So perfect lss faar "a
transmutation into stone fas, OLD. -
Of the wood still remains va-y 80
and the variety Of the tree NAV bs .- '.'
lily determined--Scienufc Ana-;...
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11

In fighting to keep the blood pure the
white corpuscles attack disease germs
like tigers. But often germs multiply
so fast the little fighters are overcome.
Theu zee pimples, boils, eczema, salt
rheum aud sores multiply and strength
and appetite fail. This condition de-
mauds Electric Bitters to regulate stom.
ach, liver aud kidneys and to expel poi
sons from the blood. They are the
best blood purifier" writes {. +. Budahu
of Tracy, Calf, ii have ever found
They make rich, red blood, strong
nerves aud build up your health. Try
them. SOC at J. w. Illusions.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
Accused of Stealing

F. f. Chamberlain, of Clinton, Me-,
boldly accuses Bucklen's Arnica Salye of
stesling-the sting from burns or scalds
the pain from sores of all kinds-the
distress from boils or piles. alt robs
cuts, corns, bruises, sprains and injuries
of their terror, he says "as healing
remedy its equal don't exist" Only 25c
at j. W. Thurstou's.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11


Funny thing about smoking! If a
man were compelled to puff good
cigar with his eyes shut the operation
would lose Its 2est. A man who had
undergone a slight operation upon one
OF his eyes had to stay in darkened
room Tor u week with his optics band
aged. After a few days his doctor
told HIM he could take gentle smoke
IL ne hked He jumped at the chance
ana to his amazement found 1t af-
rorded not The slightest pleasure. To
be sure, men often smoke in the dark,
but there's always the rosy glow Of
the lighted end to be seen and the
faint outlines Of the cloud of smoke In
the. air. There's no more fun In a
sightless smoke than saltless egg or
a kiss implanted upon your own hand.
What's thel Psychology of it.-New
York Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
Driven to Il.

Guy, the youngest son of Farmer
Timmins. had spent two years In col,
lege, during which time he had accu
mulated more Indebtedness than edu.
cation. His father paid his bills and
left him to shift for himself. The boy
had good stock In him, however, and
managed by turning over new leaf
practicing strict economy and doing
odd jobs OF work as opportunities pre-
sented themselves to pay for his tut
ton. and stayed on.
"How's your boy doing at collegeY
asked the elder Timmins next neigh
Dor one day.
He's getting along all right now"
Il hear he's working his way
through"
Yes" grimly, but with CLEAN OF
pride. answered Farmer Timmips
He found he couldn't work me any
more."-Youth's Companion.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11


Walter Prichard Eaton. the dramatic
critic. believes modern dramas are too
elabOrately staged In The Question
Of Scenery In the American Maya
zine be says:
After all. IL was not the Elizabeth
ans who were stupid because they
could enjoy the drama on q bare stage.
IL is We who are stupid because We
cannot enjoy the drama unless the
stage Il Uttered with realistic seen
cry. We have no faith In our own i'm
aginatiye powers. II would be a good
thing for the drama II all scenery
were abolished for the next ten years.
Having learned TO get along without
IL, We would perhaps keep II In its
proper place for awhile after IL re-
turned Its proper place is as a pic
torial and suggestive background 10
the actors and the play and nothing
but a background"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
PHYSICIANS AND FEES.
4 Medical View Of the Doctors Charge
For His Services.

For His Services.
Those who discuss the physicians
Zee frequently miss the essence Of 1t.
As a matter Of fact, under present
social conditions the charge made to
the wealthy and well to do Is the nor
nal and proper fee; the lowered
charges made to those less fortunate
are concessions. The tremendous field
Of the physicians charity is therefore
usually underestimate, for 1t extends
to a great majority Of his patients.
In olden times, when medicine was
nearly all art and but little science,
the fee was unknown. Like other art
lists, the leech received an honorarium,
the weight OF which depended natu.
rally upon the resources of the patient.
The popular impression that physi-
clans make the rich pay for the poor Is
incorrect. They extend their services to
all alike, and all are supposed to pay as
much as they can afford for services
really priceless and impossible TO rep
resent adequately in money values.
Any attempt made to establish stand
ard fees by law is sure to work in
justice to the physician. The stand
ard" fee would have TO be much high
err than the average fee at present and
there would have to be some method
of enforcing its sure payment Only
with the standard fixed, as now, by
the ability of the wealthy is 1t possible
for the poor to receive the benefits of
the highest professional skill without
losing their self respect-New York
Medical Journal.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
pinaappls Juiee.

AS an aid Of digestion, really ma
terial aid, the pineapple stands alone
among the fruit. Its vegetable pepsin
neutralizes. or perhaps rather digests,
albuminous substances In the stomach.
Fresh pineapple or, better still, the
fresh juice Of one placed In direct con
tact with eggs or gelatine or milk will
prove this fact conclusively by pro-
ducing a bitter tasting dish. In cases
of catarrhal ailments Of the throat
and in its downward connection the
alimentary canal or tract pineapple
cannot be overestimated, and It acts
with equal force In malarial affections.
New York World.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
Many Q Suffering Woman

drags herself painfully through her daily
tasks, suffering from backache, head
ache, nervousness, loss of appetite and
poor sleep, not knowing her ills are due
to kidney and bladder troubles. Foley
Kidney Pills give quick relief from pain
and misery and prompt return to
health and strength. No woman who
suffers can overlook Foley Kidney Pills.
John w. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11
FELL AMONG THIEVES.
And the Old Man Didn't Know Which
Set Was the Worst

And the Old Man Didn't Know when
Set Was the Worst
An old man from rural England
with his wife was on a holiday N
Loudon and decided on an evening a.
A theater. he looked up the adVer-
tisemeuts IN the papers and selected
house where ''An Baba and the Forty
Thieves was being played IL was
-cheap" house. the price or stalls De
ing given as two-and-si1pence. Inc
farmer was surprised. however on ar
irving at the box office to be met win
a demand for o shillings for the two
tickets. The extra sixpence per seat
Il was explained. was for booking
Then be was called upon to pay SIX
pence for a program. and the femaIe
attendant who showed him 20 the
seats also asked for sixpence, In addi-
zion TO which there was a shilling 10
be paid for hats and coats being taken
care of In spite Of his protest that
they could take care OF them them
selves. A footstool was brought for
his wife and was accepted without
suspIcion that II would be charged for.
but the attendant who brought II de-
manded another sixpence. and finally
opera glasses were handed to them
and payment of another sixpence re-
ouested. Then the farmer went In
search of the manager and. finding
him, said In a tone of deepest disgust:
"You may do what you like with these
tickets. There are so many thieves In
front of the house that We don't think
we want TO see the forty on the
stagep'-London Answers.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-08-11

When the genial Quaker. Isaac T
Hopper, met boy with dirty face
or hands he would stop him and In
quire if he ever studied chemistry
The boy, with wondering stare,
would answer, mo"
well, then, will teach thee how to
perform a curious chemical expert.
ment," said Friend Hopper. "Go
home, take a piece Of soap, put 1t in
water and rub it briskly on thy hands
and face. Thou hast no idea what q
beautiful froth it will make and how
much whittier thy skin will be. That's
q chemical experiment. l advise thee
to try it"-Life Of Isaac T. Hopper.