Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1911-08-03
A WEDDING
FRACAS
BY F. A. Mitchell
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation. 1911.


to swing off when man Of the real
old fashioned ante bellum planter type
came 'hurryinG over the plank and up
into the forward saloon. where | hap
pened to be standing at the time.
Reaching the top Of the companion
way, bis eyes caught the name of the
boat, which was painted On panel,
and he stood with mouth and eyes wide
open.
Upon my hono'.' he exclaimed
Just then negro waiter passed, car
rying some glasses on a tray.
And if there isn't Joe too. Why,
Joe, you rascaIly nigge; 20 don't mean
to tell me yO're alive an on this boat"
Joe studied the newcomer awhile,
then said. II diSremember yO'. cunnel."
why, Joe, it was right thar"-point-
fng-"that | stood to be mated in
hurry just as this boat was cutting
loose from Memphis on June 20, 1860
And, Joe, you waited on me an nay
bride at the wedding suppe"
70 Gawd! Air yo' de gentleman
what wor married dat day? | wouldn't
"a knOWed yo'."
BY this time several passengers had
gathered around. all intent upon the
passenger who had evidently stumbled
on boat on which he had enacted a
romance.
Colonel" | ventured. would you
mind telling us about it,"
II shall be ve'y happy to do so. sah"
was the reply. Thee was a fracas
connected with the event. gentlemen.
I'll give yo' the story, and | think I'M
beneath the paint and putty I can
find the bullet holes afterwards.
Il was living at Memphis at the
time, and if | do say it myself l was
the biggest fool in the town. A young
lady-the daughte' Of Maio' Whitman,
one Of the most high toned gentlemen
In the south and ve'y influential cit
izen-was silly enough to return an
affection ! conceived fo' he. | neve
could understand why she did so I'M
less it was on account of he youth
70 she was at the time not quite sew
enteen. The'e'S no Wonde' her ia
the objected to my attentions. 70 |
did nothing but drink mint juleps and
play the American game with young
bloods Of my own age
"Majo' Whitman met me one day,
and, says he: William, If l catch yo
coming round my daughte' any mo
I'll squeeze q few chunks O. lead into
yo' yitals. If yo' don't want EN- tha'
yo'd bette keep away
"'Majo',' l replied, If yo' do yo'll
get rid of one who is entfely unwo'thy
of SO beautiful, accomplished and vi
tuous n lady as yo' angelic daughte',
Good mawning, sub
"At that age, gentlemen. if a man
is natural bon fool he has the sense
not to drag lady he loves down with
him. Besides, the'e's not much to eX-
pect from a young woman ba'ely sew
enteen, But | assure yo' it was she
who proposed an elopement. Thank
heaven, | have not that sin on my
conscience. One afternoon when we
wee sitting on the rive bank we saw
q steame' coming down, and when
SIlc NOlIC VI iEpNltC US W ( ilONlNCNl blIStL
he name was Indian Belle-this ve'y
boat, gentlemen,
"What did We two little fools do but
make up on minds to run away on
he ! give you my wo'd, gentlemen,
| hadn't fou' bits in my pocket, and
the young lady had hni three levys,
Wei. sub, while the boat was round
ing to head up stream to make & and
ing we wee going down to get Hooa'd.
"It so happened that Il friend of Ma
10 Whitman saw us 90 Owe the plank
What did the Unstable sneak do but
go off to find the MAYO to tell him
that his daughte' WaS going Aboard the
Indian Belle with a man whose prin-
cipal occupation was drinking julips,
sub. But it WIS not till the boat was
leaving thas the majO was found. |
was stan6Thg on the quad With my
sweethea't when saw my prospec-
tive farhc'- in-law coming on the run
and eating out his Gun as he rem.
Miss Whitman screamed. and gen
tleman standing beside Us took in the
situation
".The'r'S no time to hose he sad,
'yo' must be mated or pretend to be If
yo' wish 10 beat the old man.
He led Us inside, nut 4 white hand
ke'chiet around his ne X. stood Us up
tN2r"-uointin1 and made believe he
Us going through the Se'vice His
rronouuCing Us man and wife was
greeted with bullet that sung just
: my head md bu'ied itself in the
wood Naturally l returned the comri
ment, directing my weapon at the
maio. whose head was just above the
companion way. fortunately missing
him.
We'll sub. those standing about in
te'fe'ed. the supposed bride ran and
threw he ans about he fathe' and
brought him round We soon found
a clergyman aboard and wee really
mated Befo' the end of an hou'. sit
ting round n table in the ladies cabin
at suppe'. the majo' with julep befo'