Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-09-14

announced as she deposited the animal
proudly on the center table.
How do you know"
II know it is a tomcat." she replied
With great emphasis. because its
mother was a tomcat."
WHEN FATHER EATS GREEN
When father eats corn on the cob it is
a nightly ticklish job.
The family all stand back
In order to give him full swing: it
isn't wise to say a thing
OR make a funny crack.
He buffers it all over first. and then
prepares to do his worst.
He grasps it firmly at ZACH end;
He looks just X the kid YOU see
mouth-organ playing i'm high
And he Won't condescend
To say a word until it's done; until he
green corn race is run.
He turns it round and round
TO keep the butter in it's place-upon
the corn and Oh his face
Instead of ON the ground.
i'or when " starts he cannot stop for
fear The lubricant will drop.
He must eat fast to win.
He gets ii i'm his ears and hair and
; there is some, despite his care.
That fingers on his chin.
| -A.d when the cob slips from his hands.
it matters not much where it
lands.
1t hits Il WonIloGs pace.
X car0Ins caily here and there on side
board, buffet, wall and chair
And lea3s 3; merry chase.
lis customary meal is 10. our mission
1iningrocin is then
y wreck. sad and forlorn.
To him it is the time most dear; to
ma the Saddcst of the year;
When father Gets green corn.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
The best way to get q reputation for
intellect is to wear thick eyeglasses.
The greatest hold-up game in this
country is played by the suspended
trust.
Every man i'm the community knows
how to run Il newspaper, excepting the
editor.
Whisky Il q~uinine for u cold. Pour
the whisky down the sink and tai.e
the quinine.
Things are purity we'll %cqualized in
this world. The homely gals are the
best cooks.
/ always have my suspicious of a
good man. Most of 'em are too
good to be true.
1t begins to look as though the
derby hat and the four in hand neck
tie have come to stay.
No man can truly style himself a
rough rider until he ha taken a trip
on the water wagon.
One of the most embarrassing things
for a Teller to look at is a photograph
of himself when h. VAS 81.
The average man needs a drink of
whisky about as much as an automo-
bile needs q whip socket.
There is no use in a fat mar tryin'
to make folks beiieNc he is sick and he
might just as well stay we'll.
Every dog has his day and. judgin'
by the canine population of our neigh
borhood dogdays will last forever.
A celluloid collar is a vain thing for
safety. LATE Tubbs leaned up again q
cigar lighter the other day and lost all
OF his hair.
A Teller always feels safe when he
has got a little money In the bank,
but he always feels safer when he has
got a little more.
You can't go entirely by appearance.
Every Teller who wears ear NUTS and
yarn muflers amt necessary Il college
professor. nowadays.
never vet see a Teller with enough
strength of mind to go by a basket of
peaches in a grocery store without
pinchin' one or two OF EN-.
Hank Pringle. of this town. says he
wants to own an automobile before he
dies, and it seems as though he would
certainly have to own it hen or never.
Elmer Perkins OF our town got into
a poker game down to Peavey juno
ton the other night. He turned round
once to look al the clock and lost $39.
The kind OF a gal to marry is one
who looks as neat at : O'Clock in the