The Green Forest tribune., 1911-03-17

cious sprightliness. I never expected, Perry, to see you reduced down from a full-grown pestilence to such frivolous fraction of man. Why, says I, you've got a necktie on; and you speak a senselesgs kind of indoor drivel that reminds me of store keeper or a lady You look to me like you might tote an umbrella and wear suspenders. and go home of nights
 "'The little woman,' says Perry has made some improvements, be- leve You can't understand, Buck. I haven't been away from the house at night since we was married
 "We talked on awhile, me and Per ry, and, as sure as I live, that man interrupted me In the middle of my talk to tell me about six tomato plants he had growing in his garden. Showed his agricultural depreciation right up under my nose while l was telling him about the fun we had tar ring and feathering that faro dealer at California Pete'S layout! But by and by Perry shows a flicker of sense.
 "'Buck' says he, I'll have to admit that it is a little dull at times. Not that I'm not perfectly happy with the little woman, but man seems to re- quire some excitemert now and then. Now, I'll tell you Mariana's gone visiting this afternoon, and she won't be home till seven o'clock. That's the limit for both of us-seven o'clock. Neither of us ever stays out minute after that time unless we are togeth- CT Now, I'm glad you came along, Buck, says Perry, for I'm feeling just like having one more rip-roaring razoo with you for the sake of old times. What you say to us putting in the afternoon having fun-Td like it flne,' says Perry.
 'I slapped that old captive range rider half across his little garden.
 Get your hat, you old dried-up al- ligator,' shouts-'you ain't dead yet You're part human, anyhow, if you did get all begged up in matrimony We'll take this town to pieces and see what makes 1t tick. We'll make all kinds of prof1igate demands upon the science of cork pulling. You'll grow horns yet, old muley cow says I, punching Perry in the rihs, if you trot around on the trail of vice with your Uncle Buck
 "I'll have to be home by seven you know says Perry again.
 "'Oh, yes says I, winking to my self. for I knew the kind of seven o'clock Perry Rountree got back by after he once got to passing repartee with the bartenders
 "We goes down to the Gray Mule saloon-that old 'dobe building by the depot.
 " Give it name,' says I, as soon as we got one hoof on the footrest 1 'Sarsaparilla,' says Perry.
 "You could have knocked me down with a lemon peeling.
 i "Insult me as much as you want to- I says to Perry but don't startle the bartender He may have heart disease. Come on, now; your tongue got twisted The tall glasses, I or ders, and the bottle in the left-hand corner of the ice chest
 'Sarsaparilla. repeats Perry, and then his eyes get animated, and I see he's got some great scheme in his mind he wants to emit
 "'Buck,' he says, all interested. I'll tell you what! I want to make this a red-letter day. I've been keeping close at home, and I want to turn myself a. loose. We'll have the highest old time you ever saw. We'll go in the | back room here and play checkers till half-past six
 "I leaned against the bar, and I says to Gotch-eared Mike, who was on watch:
 "'For Gods sake don't mention this. You know what Perry used to be. He's had the fever, and the doc tor says we must humor him.
 Give us the checkerboard and the men, Mike says Perry. Come on, Buck I'm just wild to have some excitement
 T went In the back room with Perry. Before we closed the door, says to Mike:
 Don't ever let it struggle out from under your hat that you seen Buck Caperton fraternal with sarsaparilla or persona grata with a checkerboard, or I'll make a swallow-fork in your other ear
 T locked the door and me and Perry played checkers. To see that poor, old, humiliated piece of household bric-a-brac~ sitting there and snigger. ing out loud whenever he jumped man, and all obnoxious with anima- tion when he got into my king row would have made a sheep dog sick with modification. Him that was once satisfied only when he was begging six boards at keno or giving the faro dealers nervous prostration-to see him pushing them checkers about like Sally Louisa at a school children's party-why. I was all smothered up with modification.
 And I sits there playing the black men, all sweating for fear somebody knew would find it out. And l thinks