The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-02-19
JOHN BYRUM AND
 FEMININE AVOIRDUPOlS
BY c. H. MANDY

Some men are born leaders, some have leadership thrust. upon them by force of circumstances. Whatever the proposl- tion is, when numbers are concerned some orc must of necessity, take the front, whether it be leading an expedition to the Figi Islands or leading a german. To be successful leader one must have tact, patience, ability and courage all combined with an attractive personality. Of such is the subject of this article.
 John Byrum is well known in this dis trict. While in no sense of the word a "Ward McAlhster," he has been the nov ing spirit for the past 'steen years in matters social in the busy city of Ensley.
 Of unbounded good nature and unselfish spirit, always looking to the pleasure or others, he has naturally been the recog- nized leader of the younger social set Of the Steel City, and well has he filled the part John Is a splendid fellow, of indus trous habits and clean life and enjoys the respect of the men, the admiration of the girls, and the good will generally of his large acquaintance. He is also bald headed and a. we'll, a young man of long standing. His pate has forced its way
 
 fast assuming the nakedness of door knob or an ostrich egg. His one standing joke about his scantily matched cranium is that when all his hair has gone to the country from whose bourne no traveller returns" he will have some rabbits paint ed on 1t, so that the people will think they are hatess
 As was heretofore remarked, John is much admired of, the gentler sex, and not to be outdone they are much admired by him. He is in great demand at those functions at which the principal duties are to wear, a frock coat and buy slo present. His long and varied experience has made him connoisseur of feminine charms, and many a tilt has he had in the tournament of love. He has succeed ed in inducing several maidens fair to marry-some other fellow, and though he has come out second best thus far, hts chances are as good if not better than ever, for he grows in popularity as he grows-as he grows more experienced I John is very susceptible to charming femininity and it was ever so. His first real experience occurred about the time he left college and was with girl he had ,known while at school. She was Of large dimensions; that is, there was lots or her." To come to brass tacks. she was fat. and though still in her teens weighed nearly 200 pounds. She was an amiable creature, as large folks generally gre. oe good family, and notwithstandinS her size was fairly good looking. Be- tween the two arose deep affection. John fin those days was extremely slender not that he is wearing any medals at the present writing for being heavyweight. He WAS so thin that when they went driV- ing he would ride in the whip stock there heinz no room for him on the seat.
 They made a striking looking couple . sort of .'before and after taking ef- feet. but they loved each other with the devotion that first love only knows.
 On one occasion on their return 10 the girls house after long walk they iouno the house locked up and the old IolNs gone. On the porch was a lonesome cnair which John, of course, offered 10 the young lady. She refused 1t. however and insisted that John sit down. AlteI the Alphonse-G -Gaston act had had its thiro reading they compromised on the meas ure and agreed to take it in turns 10 siI, down. At the expiration of the first time limit the young lady got up and gave John the chair. Then it was that his giant intellect got busy. He made proposition to which the coy maiden, after the usual T couldn't think of such q thing" shly assented. and soon thers were two souls with but single thought, two forms with but one chair.
 The sun was never more totally eclipsed than was John by the ample proportion of the 'little' maiden; nothing was vis- ible except two arms about@the waist line that lacked about 10 inches sof meeting. when the maiden suggested that he would s6on get tired of holding her. he gallant ly replied that "he would never get tired And his voice indicated that he meant 1t. A little later she softly said, ~'Sure enough, John, aren't you tired?" Again John repeated his former declaration, though not with the same enthusiasm, that had characterized his first assertion
 The young lady then became engrossed In the recital of the latest gossip, and for about 15 minutes she had the foor.s