davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1911-08-02

For Sale-In New York city. de-
partm ment store. Established in the
heart of the financial section in 1898
Proprietor has good and sufficient rea-
sons for retiring. Responsible parties
can get full particulars by addressing
the editor of this paper. Information
withheld unless satisfaction can he
given that the applicant means bust
ness.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-08-02

was thought the girl would not make
complaint but she finally did and the
police were glad to turn their prisoner
over to the higher court The state
charge is simply assault the girl
claiming two unknown men rescued
her before she had been seriously in
iured.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-08-02
Births reported.

TO Mr. and Mrs. Ed Gossett, AL
Woodlawn, August l, girl
To Mr.. and Mrs. J. w. Keller. 1O4s
Woodward, August 1, boy
To Mr.. and Mrs. R. L. Bone. 900
Woodlawn, July %, a girl.
To Mr.. and Mrs. Carl HaIendorf
116 Fillmore, July 10. a girl
To Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Miller. 61q
West Fourth July 19, girl.
To Mr. and Mrs Frank Dryer, 1874
Harrison. July IS, boy
To Mr.. and Mrs. H. W. Geer. 45a
East Seventeenth, July 2S, a bov.
To Mr.. and Mrs. Alexander Bnre.
hart. 325 Sardou, August 1, a girl
The Topeka state journal., 1911-08-02
Taft Bank Is Rohhed.

Muskogee. Okla. Aug. 2-Robbers
this morning entered the bank of Tar
y miles west of here, blew the safe aD5
escaped with 81 200. : -
The Topeka state journal., 1911-08-02

Louis Cunning was IL. town today
from Ozawkie and says that the apple
crop in that vicinity is very poor He
said: There are scarcely any apples
at all in the bottoms that are really
good and up on the hills away from
the river the farmers are not even at
tempting to pick what few there are"
Corn, however, looks pretty good, al
though we have not ha0 the rains
around Ozawkie that have fallen in
and around Topeka
The Topeka state journal., 1911-08-02

large crowd is expected to turn out
and it bids fair to be one of the great
est meetings ever held for civic pur-
poses. 1t will be called to order at
O'Clock and all the merchants and busi-
ness men are urged to be there.
The Topeka state journal., 1911-08-02

large crowd is expected to turn out
and It bids fair to be one of the great
est meetings ever held for civic pur-
poses. 1t will be called to order at s
O'Clock and all the merchants and busi-
ness men are urged to be there.
The people living along the 900
block on Harrison street are suffering
from the nightly visits of some prowl-
er who is making raids on the porch
furniture. Green seems to be the pop
ular color and last night a green
rocker, rug ard also three porch
pillows of that shade were taken from
the residence of J. NJ. Haynes, 911
North Harrison street.
a later report comes from NJ H
NJ. Barnes. 913 North Harrison street.
Two porch rockers wert taken from
his porch. There is a funny coinci-
dence connected with these thefts-
the thief. whoever he is confines him
self entirely to green furniture and 50
far has not purloined anything OF g,
different shade. Therefore if you have
chairs. etc. painted red or white and
possibly yellow you need not worry
of its being taken. as ii seems this
color of ''swag'' is not wanted
The merry ry-go-round or carrousseI
is being taken down and moved today
and will probably go to Granville to
be on hand for the Woodman of the
World picnic to be held next week.
Mr.. J. NJ. VanOrsdal reports that the
Silver Lake and Nenoken township
boards have started the work on the
enlarging of a sewer to drain the
country north of Silver AXE The tile
that has been there for the past few
years is not large enough t. carry off
the drainage water, it being only IL
inches in diameter. The plans for the
new concrete pipe to be installed show
that it will have a diameter of at least
four or five feet. The surveyors are
at work now and expect to make their
report in about three weeks. at which
time a meeting viii be held to decide
on the future plans and improvements
in that district.
Louis Cunning was IT, town today
from Ozawkie and says that the apple
crop in that vicinity is very poor. He
said: There are scarcely any apples
at all in the bottoms that are really
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Gojno Back a Iona WAY.

Pick up any peerage book and you
will find it bristling with ancestral
names whose presence is much more
difficult to explain than that of the fly
in the amber. And as you descend in
the social scale the fictions multiply
from the pedigrees of the landed gentry
to the family trees proudly cherished in
hundreds Of middle class homes. But
these lineages, aspiring as they are,
are of mushroom growth compared
with many that are claimed with SEEM
Ing honesty. At Mostyn hall you may
see vellum roll, seven yards long,
headed by no less famous an ancestor
than adam, son of God" Another
pedigree at the college Of heralds
starts thus modestly with Adam and
the garden of Eden, and Wales has
many a family tree which traces de-
scent with unerring hand from the
same remote origin.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Wonderful AnimaIcuIae.

OF all the minute creatures that in
habit this globe unseen by the naked
eye there is none SO astonishing, &C.
cording to the Scientific American, as
the little living things that live in
stagnant water. They are called slip
per animalculae, or. as the scientist
has 1T, the paramecium. These tiny,
invisible things develop so rapidly that
If they were able to live through $50
generations they would crowd every
other living thing off the face Of the
earth and form mass larger than the
planet itself Should they go on re-
producing until the nine hundredth
generation these little creatures would
form a mass large enough to crowd
the moon and stars and even the sun
entirely out Of space. Luckily for us
this is not possible, according to ma
lures decree. The paramecium dies
after it has attained the one hundred
and SEVENTEEN generation, and so the
awful possibilities are checked of it's
multiplying to fill the universe
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28

The brand of 50 figures in an ex-
traordinary act passed by parliament
in 1547. An ablebodied man or WON
an found lettering and not seeking
work for the space of three days
could be seized and brought before
two justices of the peace, who, upon
confession or on the proof of two wit
nesses, shall Immediately cause the
said laborer to be marked with a hot
iron on the breast the mark Of w
and adjudge the said person living 80
idly to his presenter, to be his slave
for two years The said slave shall
be made to work by beating, claiming
or otherwise" If convicted Of run
ming away during this period the Jus
tees could cause him to be branded
on the forehead or the cheek with the
letter 49, and then adjudged to bis
master as a slave forever. For run
ming away a second time the penalty
was death.-London Standard.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Illustrated His system,

1t was habit of the wise French
man Arago to look during his lectures
at the young man who appeared the
dullest of the students, and when he
perceived that this one understood he
knew all the others did.
Once In drawing room he had just
explained this habit Of his to some
friends when a young man entered
and saluted him familiarly.
"But to whom have 1 the honor of
speaking?p asked the scientist.
"Why, Professor Arago, you do not
know me? / always attend your lee
lures, and you never take your eyes
of me the whole time"
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Tho Medicine Bottle.

In order to avert the most serious
thing Of having a child take the wrong
medicine, mothers should adhere to the
following rules:
Never give medicine in the dark.
Always read the label on the bottle
Never go by the color of the medi
cine.
When the bottle is refilled see that
the label reads clear.
Keep poisons locked up.
Keep all bottles locked up In draw
er or medicine chest.
Mistakes Of giving children carboliC
acid and such like poisons in the night
time make it imperative that mothers
study and adhere to these rules, fol
sometimes such inadvertent mistakes
bring about terrible conclusions.-Cin.
cinnat Commercial Tribune.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
A R,eouraefui Radaer.

An English artist while painting {
sea piece discovered badgers sca- an
thought to play the animal practic
Joke. Gathering together a bundle {
grass and weeds, he placed it ins1d
the mouth OF the hole and, igniting i,
with a match. waited for the ignomini-
Gus fight of the astonished household
er. But Master Badger was resource
full animsl and net disposed to be
made butt OF practical jokers. He
came up from the depths of his hole
as soon as the penetrating smoke told
him that there was a fire on the prem
Uses and deliberately scratched earth
on the burning grass with his strong
claws until all danger was past. Nc
human being. could have grasped the
situation more quickly or displayed
greater. skill in dealing with an un
familiar event.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28

Worked the Visitor.

speaking about visiting English
men," said a hotel manager recently
who had been reading about one in the
newspapers, reminds me of one that
came to the Palmer House in Chicago
some years ago when / was room clerk
out there. He and another had been
paying visit to the Rockies, and their
last stopping place had been Cheyenne.
Coming east they had fallen in with
some Americans who made themselves
agreeable, with this result:
after they had put their nam IS on
the register one Of the Englishmen
leaned over the desk.
"I say he whispered, I am expect
ing President Cleveland's son to call
this evening to return ESQ which
lent him on the train. Will you please
put the money In the safe for me if
do not happen to be IMP
81 promised, for had not the heart
to shatter his confidence in human ma
ture. President Cleveland didn't hap
pen to have such thing as a son at
that time."-New York Sun.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Was Good onoa.

A certain well known composer now
In the full vigor of his established rep.
utation was at one time when he was
comparatively unknown engaged ir
writing the music for production ia.
thered by two managers who knew
exactly what they wanted, in addition
to knowing next to nothing Of the mu.
steal classics. After having burned
much midnight oil and worked himself
into state of semicollapse In a vain
endeavor to produce a finale which
would please them the composer tore
up page after page of rejected manu-
script and in despair took to the the
alter an entire section Of Faust to
which he had somehow managed to
f1t the words assigned to him. He
played 1t over, and one Of the mana
gers said quite unfeelingly. "Well, Gus
the others were pretty bad, but this
one is the rottenest of them ALL" $50 p
remarked the weary musician dryly.
cit was considered good when Gounod
wrote t!"-Metropolitan Magazine.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Look the Shilling.

A recruiting sergeant one day met an
ignorant youth idling, with his hands
In his pockets and standing before a
house on the front Of which was a
notice informing the public that the
building was to be sold. The notice
ran thus: ITO Be Sold by Private
Treaty"
The sergeant approached the youth
and asked him if he had ever thought
Of joining the army.
"Not me-" was the reply. you'd
have nothing in the army worth talk
ing about"
els that so?" said the other. "Well,
how is it then Private Treaty has a
house for sale and him only a private
YETI"
The youth looked thoughtful and
puzzled, and presently, over pint of
ale, the possibility of owning house
by joining the army grew into a GER
tainty and the shilling changed hands.
London Tt-Bits.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
One Story Eclipsed.

''Hot in Brazil?' said the young man
who had just returned from a trip
to South America. "WeIl, I should
say so. Do you know, for days at a
time we couldn't take our after dinner
siesta on account of the peculiar
noises"
"What noises?' asked the blond ste
nographer innocently.
''Why, the coffee popping on the
trees. You see, the sun was so hot
the grains just roasted before they
were picked"
The old traveller yawned.
Rather warm down there, bub," he
rejoined laconically, "but when I was
down there you couldn't sleep at night.
Every once in awhile there would
sound the most extraordinary crack
ling noise that ever fell upon the hui
man ear"
"What were the sounds, Mr.. Bings %
And Mr.. Bings yawned again and
replied, "The rubber trees stretching
themselves. Chicago News.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Buried In Secret.

Two ancient kings were buried in Sc
cret. Attila, king of the Huns, after
his siege of Rome, died in Hungary
A. D. 453. His soldiers, DESTROYS of
giving their great leader right royal
burial, inclosed his body first in a
casket of gold, this in one of silver and
this in one Of lead, and transported 1t
into a desert There slaves were Sc
lected, and under the direction Of men
who were sworn to secrecy they dug
the grave of the dead monarch. When
this was accomplished no traces of the
spot were left. The slaves were all
cruelty slain.
Alaric, king of the GOths, the cele-
brated conQueror Of Rome, died when
with his army at Cozenza, south Italy.
His men turned the course Of a river,
inferred the body of their sovereign,
with much treasure, in It's bed and
restored the stream to its channel
No man has ever lighted on the rest
ing place of either of these kings, who
in this respect resemble Moses, Of
whom 1t is written, mo man knoweth
Of his sepulcher unto this day"
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Where Ones Breath Falls as sno

Verkhoiansk, small village in the
northeast of Siberia, is the coolest
place in the world. 1t is a convict
station. No precautions against es-
cape are needed, for Verkhoiansk is
guarded by the wind. Though the
average temperature of the three
worst winter months is IS degrees of
frost, intense cold like this is easy to
bear in calm weather But a strong
breeze at that temperature or within
20 degrees of it will Kill every living
thing not under shelter In the icy
cold of Verkhoiansk an iron ak head
dropped on the ground smashes like
glass. A board of unseasoned wood.
on the other hand, freezes as hard as
steel. Frozen nicotine blocks the
stem of tobacco pipes, while ones
breath falls at ones feet in a fine
white powder.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
What Became Of the Trousers.

OF Judge Parry's many stories of the
Manchester county court that about
the comedy of a mans Sunday trousers
is one Of the best. In the plaintiffs
box was a woman, in the defendants
an elderly collier. The plaintiff stated
her case: IT lent yon mons missis my
mons Sunday trousers to pay is rent
with, an / want 'em back" The de-
PENDANT at first replied, There's nowt
in it at ALL" Pressed for more def
mite reply, he scowled at the judge and
protested, 'Why, the 'ole street knows
all about them trousers" But Judge
Parry was not the "'ole street." and
he patiently encouraged the defendant
to talk until he got the explanation.
'|Why, yon woman AN my missis drank
them Sunday trousers. Westminster
Gazette.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
ROYAL Perouisites,

The king has many privileges which
he never exercises. He enjoys an i'm
memorial right to all gold and silver
mines, not only on his own land, but
upon any OF his subjects lands within
his dominions. So shareholders in
Rand and Westralian mines would
have to forego their dividends If the
king felt avariciously disposed. The
king is also entitled to yearly tribute
from his tailor, consisting of pair of
white doves, a pound of cummin seed,
a pair Of scarlet hose and a silver
needle.
All surgeons and whales caught in
British waters are royal perquisites.
The whale has a split liability. Its
tail belongs to the queen, while its
head goes to the king. 1t is generally
assumed that the partition was decid
ed upon in order that the queen should
always be supplied with whalebone,
but If so the founder Of this act of
benefcence committed the mistake of
giving the queen the wrong half
London Chronicle.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Died From Bad Writing.

German handwriting attains a de-
gree of ELIGIBILITY unknown in Latin
script. a tragic instance Of this fact
was afforded by the death Of Johann
Bacher, an Austrian musician of the
last century. Bacher spent most of
his leisure for fifteen years in compil-
ing a history of the Viennese opera.
When the manuscript was completed
he submitted it to the Imperial acad-
envy, which had promised to publish it.
In three months it was returned with
a statement that no member Of the
academy could decipher it. Bacher
then sought to have 1t copied, but no
copyist capable of deciphering it was
to be found. AS last resource he de-
termined to dictate his work, to an
amanuensis only to discover that the
greater part OF the manuscript was
il1egible even to himself. The thought
Of his wasted years of labor unhinged
his brain, and in At of depression he
committed suicide.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
More and More,

The gravedigger in Hamlet was
very witty man, wittier far than
many of the epitaph makers who have
adorned headstones with their jingles.
A sample of the punning rhymes
which are cut on tombs follows. 1t
comes from the grave of William
More, at Stepney, near London:
Here lies one More, and no more than he.
The More and no more-how can that be =?
Why one More and no more may lie here
alone,
But here lies one More, and that's more
than one.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Witty Ann Pitt,

Bolingbroke called England's great
statesman, William Pitt Oord Chat
ham,, "Sublilnity Pitt" and he dubbed
his sister Ann Divinity Pitt" But
that must have been long after there
were written and received the delight
full letters addressed TO Pitts dearest
Nanny" his ''little Man, his 'little
Jug"
"Oh, for the restless tongue Of dear
little jug" he exclaimS in a letter writ
ten by him from Northampton when, a
lad of twenty-three, he had but lately
Joined his regiment
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28

but his woes, kept on his way. The
bull caught up to him and sent him
spinning into a muddy ditch, then con
tinued on its wild career. AS the woe
begone figure crawled out of the mire
he saw his better half coming toward
him. Plucking up a little spirit, he
whimpered, "M-M-Maria, If you hit me
like that a-g-g gain you'll really get my
temper up, so warn you"
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Am biticn.

The scroll OF fame has variant at
hsctions for different minds.
Here lies one whose name was writ
In water"-the despairing and dying
John Keats desired that admission OF
defeat engraved for his epitaph.
Write me as one who loved his fel
low men," was Leigh Hunts aspira
tion-
To be remembered as the author OF
the Declaration of Independence and OF
the first statue for religious freedom
and as the founder Of the University
Of Virginia, this was Thomas Jefer
sons prayer to posterity.
Thus one may go the range. And
thus the lines recur:
Ambition is our idol, on whose wings
Great minds are carried only to extreme
To be sublinneiy great or to be nothing.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Ruildina a Renutation.

Young physicians in the smaller
towns have an idea that appearing
very busy will help them greatly In
starting a practice. The following is
told by a now prominent Kentucky
physician. He had call the after
noon following the hanging out of his
Ehingle and started through town IL
his buggy at terrific speed. A police
man stopped the enterprising physi-
cian-.
Doctor he said, 1T is against the
city ordinance 20 drive at the speed
you are going. You must accompany
me to the judge and pay your fine"
what is the finer inquired the
noctor
Five dollars"
The doctors hand few TO his pocket
Here's $40. have to come back just
rs fast as l am oing."-Success Maya
zine.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Salt Eaters.

Idiosyncrasy often takes the form of
a special craving for instead Of an OBJ
lection to certain foods. Many people
possess an extraordinary relish fol-
common salt and will eat it by the tea
spoonful when opportunity admits
This sometimes leads to obesity and
dropsy, but 1t has also the peculiar eff
feet of increasing the weight.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Generous Tramp.

"Please gimme quarter begged a
panhandler on Washington street. Il
won't hand yer no tale about bein'
hungry, pard-hOnest, l wanter git a
drink
But We objected (for it was in
deed u.s., you don't need a quarter
to buy. q drink. =
.'Sir." answered the panhandler, "do
youse tink I'm fallen SO low as ter
take a gents money an den not invite
him ter drink wild me ?"-Boston Trav-
eler
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Haffr EnaIiah.

AS sample of Kaffir English here
Is love letter sent by Cape Colony
boy to his dusky inamorata:
Dear Miss-I have great confidence in
laundering the width Of my opinion that
shall thank for kindness If you will give
me the privilege of lettering with you con-
corning love, as your most winning face
has drawn my serious attention to you,
and that 1 shall appreciate you in antfci-
patton of an early reply and also termi-
mating this with supreme Of high enuncia-
ton. NED.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Experience Teaches.

at wonder what has happened to Mr..
Green?" said Mrs. Brown to a lady
friend. "He seems SO dismal now, and
he used TO be practical joker"
"Ah," was the response, she pro,
posed as a joke to his present wife.
She accepted him, and he says he will
never indulge in a joke again"
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Goino Too Far

Along a country road walked a man
and woman. The latter, gaunt, stern
faced female, was bullying the meek
little fellow, who trudged just in front
of her with downcast head. Suddenly
the woman, turning, saw bull racing
down the road behind them. She
quickly took refuge in the hedge, but
her companion, unconscious Of aught
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
The Burglars Umbrella.

Among a collection Of articles used
by burglars when engaged in their ne
farious calling is one particular con-
trivance that arouses great interest.
In appearance it resembles a, large
umbrella that has seen hard service.
II was formerly the property Of bur-
glar. ana It was by its means that he
was able to enter the second story OF a
building. Removing the cover, stick
wound with ropes is revealed. The
stick opens like telescope or joint
ed fishing rod. Wound round it is a
rope ladder made OF strong material
and about thirteen feet in length. The
ladder is only wide enough for one
foot to be placed on the rungs. The
extending stick was used to raise one
end Of the ladder to the window
through which the operator wished to
enter, and on the upper end OF the
ladder are two hooks to be fastened
to the sill. This imitation umbrella is
regarded as one of the most ingenious
affairs ever made use of by thief
London Standard.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
In an English Hotel.

Proprietor addressing porter)-Was
the American pleased with his room,
William?
William-Now, I wouldn't hexactly
sly that, sir. E looked as if there
might be something that wasn't just to
rs liking, but I gathered from is re
marks that e found it Unusually com
Portable.
Proprietor-Well, what did he say
about it?
WiIliam-'E said it was cowlder than
'ell, sir.-Judge.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
a Prank of the Types

A sentimental novelist, describing his
heroine as one who always kept mod
estly in the background" was horri-
fed to find it recorded in print that she
always kept modesty in the back
ground"
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
THE FARMER: APRIL %, 1911

Ann Pitts restless tongue was never
stilled, for when Chesterfield, calling
on her in his later life, complained of
decay with the words, 81 fear that /
am growing an old woman" Ann brisk
ly replied:
81 am glad of it. l was afraid you
were growing an old man, which, as
you know, is much worse thing"
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-04-28
Curiosities of EtymoIoay.

It is extraordinary how words for
the same thing differ in even SO small
a country as England. Take left
handed" for example. In Gloucester
shire such person is described as
"scrammy," in Staffordshire he be-
comes "craggy," the phrase for left