The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-07-13
DINNER EPISODES.
Odd Happenings That Helped tc
Spice the Meals.
THE WORM THAT DIDN'T TURN

tist and a Gastronomic Calamity.
At a dinner party one night my host
and | were in the midst of an interest
ing conversation when / noticed a
movement in the lace centerpiece
which Law under a pot of growing
tulips. The lace was pushed aside, and
straight toward me wriggled fat red
earthworm. If have pet horror 1t
is for anything that writhes. My host
was nearing the point of funny story
when | caught sight of that strange
intruder on a dining table. He reach.
ed the end of the story and laughed
believe | laughed, but to this day |
cannot tell what that story was about.
l sat watching the gymnastics of that
lively specimen of fish bait. In forty
seconds it was due to tumble into my
lap. There was no waiter near. The
reptile was hidden from my host by a
soup plate. The man at my right was
absorbed in conversation with q wom-
an beside him. The worm had almost
reached the edge of the table when
had an inspiration. | turned a red
wineglass upside down, for the waiter
was approaching with a napkin wrap
ped bottle.
"Have you turned White Ribboner"
asked my host.
"For tonight | have" Where my
voice came from do not know; neither
do l know how | ever sat out that
meal listening TO host who tried his
level best to entertain a dull guest
and watching a frantic fishworm try
to break it's way out of Jail. Some
how growing plants on the dining
table have gone out of favor In our
house.
A dear distracted old scientist l
know keeps his wife on the anxious
seat every moment when they dine
out. She is prepared for any ridicu-
lous thing he will do. No one ever
possessed finer breeding or gentler
manners than the good old professor.
but his fits of abstraction are Iikely to
descend on him at any moment. His
wife tells of one notable experience.
Zone night" she says. II lectured
John all the way home from a dinner
! was trying to make him understand
that pate shells were intended to be
eaten. If it had been a caterers
meal / should have thought nothing
about it. but our hostess was a fine
cook, and she had just announced
proudly that we were having some of
her own puff paste. Everybody ate
the pates except John. With the
greatest care he scooped out the
creamed chicken and left the shell.
He was horribly distressed over it.
If had only known. my dear he
said. that the thing was intended to
be eaten. that it was really food and
she made 1t, should have shown my
appreciation
Remember it next time. them
said.
"A week later at another dinner
John was seated opposite me.
glanced at him curiously after the
dessert came on, for he seemed to be
In the throes of choking fit. Imag-
ine. if you can. my horror. He was
trying to masticate the paper case of
charlotte russo There was only
one thing / could do-call him to order
as one would have done a child. |
could not sit by calmly and watch him
choke to death. Dinners are frequent
ly stupid affairs, but that one was not
after | had explained the situation to
a tableful of people. Fortunately John
is so brilliant that his absentminded-
ness is considered a natural adjunct
to genius"
my husba1d'' said one woman. ''is
the funny man at party when the
mood happens to seize him. One night
after playing bridge we filed out to the
dining room, where we were seated
about the table for supper. From
the corner where my husband sat
came gales Of laughter He had turn
ed conjurer and was making every
thing disappear. from salt spoons to a
water decanter When things were
found it was in the most remarkable
places.
"A week later while searching his
clothes for soiled handkerchiefs--tha
is regulation Monday morning task
in our home-l heard something rattle
in his dress coat From an inside
pocket I drew two silver forks, three
teaspoons and a salt spoon. They
were marked with various initials.
None of the stuff came from our side
board. My husband was out of town.
and | spent few perplexed hours An
idea suddenly dawned on me. | wrap
ped up the silver, put on my hat and
went straight to the hostess Of our last
card party. Thank goodness! she
cried. I have nearly had nervous
prostration over the loss of these
things. Servants have been suspected,
] hired a man to go over the garbage
dump. and the whole house has been
turned upside down in our search. If
it had been my own silver it would
not have been so bad. but it was Dor
rowed, and could not duplicate 1t any
where in town. Wait till | see that
husband Of yoursr
1.-The story got out. and sometimes
hostess in facetious mood insists on
rounting her silver before my better
half goes home. Isabel Gordon Curtis
In New York Tribune.