The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-11-28

LUST LOOK AT THIS A ''One of them kinder he-women that's a. tryin' hard to ape men in everything, even to a-ridin' a-straddle, ast me one day after meetin' what I thought on the subject of 'Women's Sufferins,' an ef I was willin' to sign my name to pe- tition to the United States fer ekal rites an free sufferins?' !"
 Fer the lands sakes,' ses I, "haint us women got enough sufferins without a. astin fer more, free gratis fer nuthin? Amt we a sect of female Jobses, a-bear- in ever manner of afflictions from piles clean down to matrimony to a man? No, Nam, thankee. I hain't no call, ner no wish fer any more sufferins, nam" ses I.
 You misapperhen me- my friend,' ses she as lily as soap grease. My meanin' is this-what do you think upon the sub ject of women a-votin'? 2"
 I jumped clean off'n the ground with both feet, I was that dumbfoundered.
 ''Votin? Women? Me? Me a-goin around amongst passel of men a-cussin', an swearn', an drinkin'? Air you clean daffy to think I'd be-little my sect an raisin in sech a outrageous manner? You kin git into britches an cuss an swear of hit suits you, an ride a-straddle to boot, an cavort around same as men folks--' Here I shuck my front finger at her in a warnin' manner, but don't come here insultin' of a decent woman, a sister in the church, by a-astin' her opin- ov,s rpdlN My dear woman," ses she, your Idea is entirely wrong.
 q aint' wrong a little bit, nuther," ses L Didn't see with my own eyes, an hear with my own years the time when Trump Durkins was runnin fer jestis or the peace, an Lige Buck fer consterdel, an Pink Satterfeld fer crowner, an ther was sechs big excitement down at the Coat House wher they had the Pole at? Ever mothers son an soul was drunkern n a billed owl, an a-talkin sech langwidge as wouldn't do to think let alone put in the papers. Hits you that's wrong, from A to Izzard, mann, a-tryin' to in- juce decent woman to jine in with sech ongodly doin's as votin.'' But my good woman," ses she, a-layin' her right front finger in the pam of her left hand, 'our presence at the poles will pervent sech langwidge."
 'Pervent VT granney's foot Why, look at ole Si Fortinberry, who's been a-cussin' with nigh on to ever breath for 30 year. They ain't no power on Heaven nor Earth could stop him-the cuss words come out'n his mouth like pourin' peas outen a gourd. He thes nachully cusses 'thout seemin' to know it. He perfessed d change of heart, some years ago, an the parson was a-talkin' to him about the wickedness of sech words as he was uster. usin. Si shuck hands with the parson mighty humbly an ses he: You're plum right, parson, an I be damned if I'll ever cuss agin.' Hits just this way, mann, ever woman in Pike County might turn out, an 'twouldn't save a single swear"
 But by women congergatin' at the poles We expect to purify the ballet" she argued.
 'As to purifying them pallets, ther aint nuthin short of fire an birthstone as II ever purify them theatre folks"
 Miss Brooks, I made no illusion to the theatre nor theatre folks-I spoke of the ballet" ses she ice cold. e
 "Perciseiy, jest what I know, them ballet gals. B-a-l-l-e-t, ballet. You cant tell me nothin' good about em. Once me an Alb went to a show in the city, an nothin would do Alb but we must git a seat in the front row, with whole pas sel of old bald headed be-spectacled men.
 "Ab semed tickled to death about some- thin. He lent back in his cheer, rubbin' his hands an grinnin' from year to year. An more'n him was-ever' man in the whole row looked as pleased as Pearadise. sfh rtty fot r-i1 rerht ctchf nf about hunderd legs and arms with a handful of delusion ruffled about mid way, an I was plum scandalized. grabbed my ridicule an hlt it up to hide them oudacious creatures. | looked side wise at Abner eXpectin' to see a maid only blush a-mantlin his face, but la! He was starrin' at them creeturs a-grin- min wus'n Cheshire cat
 q rig up and grabbed him by his arm 'Abner,' ses I, git up and come outn this ongodly place. I'm plum scandal ized.' ?
 "Sech dense ignorance ses Mrs. Wom. ans Rights, kinder under her breath.
 Hit may be ignorance, man." ses l. 'h"t nll tha samo kit's aeency,' ses I 'anr twixt me an you, what will your women's votin' at the polet, an cavortin round with these half dressed ballet gals that look like so many young dirt dob- bers, all arms an legs, I wouldn't swar by decency fer your eddication.''
 All she done was to snort an sniff, an she lit out to ketch on to some of them spit silk sisters what's allers up to some kinder projec' that's more'n likely tc have devitry at the bottom of it.
 As to my opinion of Womans Sufferin's S which accordian to that creeter means votin'. is hits much more becomn'er fel women to stay in ther nachel spere a-doin' of domeskit juties, mussin' an sein to socks. an buttons, an ct setery and so on.
 I'm going to tell you right here, sence know about them pallets a-bein at the Poles,i l ain't a-gon' to 'em No, nei hosses couldn't draw me, an Abner ain't a-goin' nuther. Evil communercations corrupts good morals" an anybody thai mixes up with them air pallets needs per fumigation the wust sort
 Hits alters been somethin' curious tc me why men hung round the Coat House or lection days, but now hit'sc cler tc my mind-hit's them pallets. I know mighty we'll what they is-Ive went te the Theatre an saw em-an I've saw ther owdashes pictures on them Circus bills. You can't tell me pallets mean. votes. Ha4
 votes is votes, an pallets is gals, an as sech I'm sot agin 'em.
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