The Washington bee., 1911-07-29
Public Men And ThinDs
(By the Sage of the Potomac.)

Last Wednesday evening l had to
mix il with the small-talk people.
The "small-talk' people are the so
ciety swells. l got an invitation to
the Church Johnson wedding and my
wife would have thrown three differ
ent fits if I hadn't gone. Last year
L folded up my dress suit, of vim
tage of 1893, put it in a box with
about pound of moth balls for COM
pany' and told by little honeyybunch
that 1t was never again for me. In
1921 Il think that's about the year)
the Sarbonne at Paris solemnly con-
demned the doctrines of old scram-
bled-face Martin Luther, and declar-
ed they ought to be extirpated by
hre an sword. Now l wish the Sar-
bonne had gone a step farther and
condemned society. If it had, could
have let that old dress suit of mine
keep company with those moth balls
till it got so use to them that it
would never again have appeared in
public.
But, you know, these women just
simply go crazy over a fashionable
wedding. And it was a six o'clock
church wedding, and a wedding at
that hour is quite recherche - very
Connecticut avenue. Don't know how
my wife and l got in on this affair,
unless it being church wedding they
wanted to fill the church, and thought
we would do as filters. 1t may be
that Link Brown got me put on the
list for an invite. Links the brides
uncle, don't you know, and Link and
l have drunk many a SassafraS tea
together. I went, however, and l
guess that little noneybunch of mine
who has patiently stood me for abom
fifteen years, though she was at the
coronation. Gee! but she did look
classy in a Monican Assembly gown
made over, and she felt that she was
in Mrs. John Hays Hammond's class
just because she got an invite along
with the dicties.
Cogitating over Link Brown re.
calls to mind the old Metropole Clut
when Link played Romeo to it as
Juliet - in English, was its ange
My! how we fellows used to go dowr
there and drink Links good old rec
liquor fresh from the still, smoke
his cigars, wear out the green cloth
on his billiard tables, and then say
softly, intelligently, and jauntily
Link, just put that on my tab" L
Link could cash in those tabs" now
he would have Senator Root work
ing for him, instead of him working
for Root. But Link thought he wa
a business man, and we thought h
was a good thing. Though "goot
thing" is hardly the proper descrip
tive - "sissage" would be more ex
pressive as to what he really was
There was some talk of starting
another club last winter, and a cou
Iple of fellows, knowing that Linl
had had experience, asked him if h
would join. When Link got through
telling them what he thought Their
WASN'T another cuss word left in tht
dictionary for Uncle Joe Cannon II
debate with. Link would make ;
capital boniface. He's just the prop
er size, always has few yards o
con-Con to hand out, and likes a so
cial crowd of bacchanalians. l us,
to drop around to Links house occa
sionally, when / was dry, but JUS
as soon as l would get inside of tn,
door he would beam on me that Ru
bens smile of his, which always re
minds you of four aces, and woul
icall back to his wife: Anita, didn'
!, Will Beverly drink all that was lef
= in the bottle?'' and Ania, who is tn
best trained wife in the Eighth pre-
cinct, would answer with: "Yes, Lin
coin" in a tone of voice three de
grees higher than Newport, r. II
81 believe he did" Then Link woul
hand me that old Chinese smile O
his - you know he always near
shuts his eyes when he smiles - an
say: "Old fellow, I am awfully Sol
> ry." Of course I would not sta
long after that. I would just hurr
out and spit cotton.
But coming back to that wedding