davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-04-07
pennltIon Of MUSIC.

Music is kind Of inarticulate un-
fsthomable speech, which leads us to
the edge Of the infinite. and lets us for
a moment gaze into thst-Carlyle.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-04-07
THE HAPPY MAN.

First Lady-How very happy the
bridegroom looks, Really 1t is pleas
ant to see a young man looking SO
joyful.
Second Lady-Hush! That's not
the bridegroom; that's a gentleman
the bride Tilted six months ago.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-04-07

worth o. presents. That assistant II
now big man in the silver business
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-04-07

All druggists sell the famous Hen Is,
edy, Garfield Tea. 1t corrects consl'7.'1
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-04-07

PILES CURED In TO IA DA,r
Your druggist Will refund money AZ p lIl ms.
MENT falls 20 cure any case Of EchInr I..|
Bleeding or Protruding Piles In $50 "A dan e
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-04-07

bob invited his wife downtown one
day to lunch. with him at the Savarin.
SO she donned her best and prettiest
costume ana the hateful old stole
which she had thought Of presenting
to the washwoman. bitterly regretting
the handsome sables-
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-04-07

No doubt the mind cure is al rr.'
If you have the mind to begin VIII
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-04-07

nue. place, as.1 promised would, ana
redeemed the pledge. When saw
what the old Hebrew handed out
was stumped-anyone could see that
s25 was not a twentieth part Of their
real value. Carried 'em down to the
once. OF course, and during the day
showed 'em to Buckley. He offered
me I'VE hundred for the lot, no ques-
tons asked knew they'd newell,
not exactly too handsome for you, be-
cause nothing could be that. you know.
but-well. er-you see. thousand-dol'
lar sets Of furs don't exactly go with
this kind of a ranch'-waving his
hand at their modest surroundings
and a junior partners income. So,
supposing you weren't wise as b what
the ticket really called for, and Buck.
ley's five hundred looking pretty good
to me. took him up. Here's the
money, less the twenty-five and what
paid for the ring flinging a roll OF
bills into Madge's lap. I bought the
ring so that you wouldn't be disap
pointed at not getting anything else
out of your old ticket. OF course Buck
ley may have given the buds to Miss
Rodgers: as to that couldn't say;
never notice what she wears anyway
she isn't my private stenographer--
and how was to know that you had
any interest In 'em, or would recog
nize 'em? That's the whole truth, cross
my heart Now it's your turn. sweet
heart. Let's have your end of th'
yarn
while Madge listened to this sim
pie and entirely reasonable explana
ton she passed through a whol'
gamut of emotions, from anger to hap
py relief at finding that Bob had real
ly been guilty Of nothing worse thai
a peccadillc. Indeed. his frank avowa
made her own task more difficult ye
how else than by an equally franl
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-04-07
Spring Medicine

There is no other season when ~
cine is so much needed as in the rt',.
The blood is impure and impoverisb,||-.
condition indicated by pimples, boi|> IA
other eruptions on the face and bod,. b
deficient vitality, loss Of appetite. hc. {
strength.
The best spring medicine. according Is
the experience and testimony o: to.
sands annually, is
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1911-04-07
coopyrisht, 1910. by W. G. Chapman,
!" SAID Darius Ward,

D." SAID Darius Ward,
manager for the up
town New York Office
of Bullivants, I'VE
never dabble in domes-
tic cases-divorces, sep
aration suits, and the
like-for the reason
that the agency, both
at home and abroad,
never cared for that
line of business. But
| can tell you Of one
case where we were
the means of STAYING
off serious trouble bey
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
B q

we only had you In the store we could
fill police station with shoplifters Ia
side of week"
The natural born detective felt hurt
at the words and would say no more.
although invited to relate some of
her other cases. Her mind had in
stantly been made up to a certain
thing, however, and next day she pro-
ceeded to carry her plan into execu-
ton. With no hint to her sister,
who would oppose 1t, she made her
way to the store of Moses & Vain
right. She wanted to get an eye on
the afternoon shoppers. She had
feeling that she could tell a shoplift-
er on sight. The criminal might be
well dressed woman with diamonds
In her ears, and she might pretend to
be at ease, but there would be fur
tive look, something In look or walk
to give her away.
Miss Cleo passed from counter to
counter, looking for guilty parties. She
spotted and followed two or three
about, but they seemed to receive a
mysterious warning and kept hands
off. There was one old dame who
might have pocketed three yards of
lace If she hadn't looked up and
caught the girls eye on her. Miss
Cleo finally retired from the store
with the feeling that If she had caused
no arrest she had at least frightened
q number of shoppers into being hon
est. At dinner that evening, she
didn't feel so self-satisfied, however.
Mr.. Marshall reported that never had
the shoplifters been SO busy. There
had been no less than seven cases
right under the noses of the brightest
Balesgirls.
Should that report discourage nat
ural born detective? Not in the slight
est. 1t should stimulate her to great
or exertions. That's what 1t did in
Miss Cleo Gates case. She had been
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

Miss Cleo Gates was visiting her
lister, Mrs. George Marshall. Mr.. Mar
shall was general manager of the de-
partment store of Moses & wainwright
Therefore, Miss Cleo heard much
shop talk. Al t. the only thing that
Interested her, owever, was the talk
about shoplifters. The store was
constantly troubled with them, and 1t
was only at long intervals that one
was caught, although store detective
was supposed to have her eyes, every
where.
One night when the manager came
home to say that goods worth $500
had been lifted that day from I'M
der the nose of the store watchdog,
who was young woman OF 40, and
that she would be discharged at the
end of the week, Miss Cleo announced,
In very serious tone:
II am a natural born detective"
A laugh greeted the words
II have solved several difficult
ases."
More laughing.
"A year ago when this diamond ring
was suddenly missing, father and moth
er said 1t was case that would never
be solved. After devoting one day to
thought walked into the kitchen and
told the cook she was the thief. She
broke down at once"
THAT is. she confessed?" said Mr..
Marshall.
mo, she did not confess. She turn
ed red and white and burst into
tears, and within an hour she skipped
out"
And the ring?'
81 found it on the shelf over my law
atory. She, of course, had placed it
there on finding that she was sus-
pected. Father said the police could
Mt have worked the case better"
'Keenest. brightest thing ever
heard of" replied the manager. IF
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
Persons That Didn't Know Mis- Par
kins Wousa Have a Different
Impression of Her.

Some folks" commented Mr. Peas
lee, judicially. seem to be gifted in
the way of expressing themselves
wrong" Mr.. Blake concurred. and
even went so far as to mention his
own wife as a good example. But Mr.
Peaslee did not allow himself to be di-
yerted.
"Now there's Mis- Parkins." he went
on, as If he alone had spoken. i don't
s'pose there's a heater woman in this
village, If there's one as neat as Mis-
Parkins. An yet | hear her say
something this mornin' that nd give
a stranger, or a pusson that didn't
know her, an entirely different idea
Il went In there for moment this
mornin 20 see that niece OF 'Lish Par
kins-the one that went to York state
IA years ago. continued Mr.. Peaslee.
warming to his recital. AN she an
Mis- PARKING was attacking over old
mes
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
EXPRESSING HERSELF WRONG

II don't know what tho event was
that Mis- Parkins was tryin' to call to
the girls mind. 1t don't make no
odds what it was. What want to tell
you was how she fixed the date OF
whatever it was
1T seems that the. grid couldn't just
remember all about it, an Mis- Par
kins was about on the edge Of show
ing little out O. patience with her,
and at last she-Mis' Parkins, l mean
bust out at her. She says:
Why, Ellen, of course you re-
member! Don't you remember that
awful hot day 16 years ago-the day
washed 'Lisha's shirt?
Now" demanded Mr.. Peaslee, what
would stranger have thought Of
that?-Youth's Companion.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
FOSTER AND HIS MODEST FEE

John w. Foster. ex-secretary of
state and known the world over
through his connection with the dip
lomatic corps of the United States,
has come into the limelight through
the publication of alleged facts con
corning the collection of a claim
against the Chinese government. II
was the claim of the heirs of Freder-
lex T. Ward, an American soldier of
fortune, who was killed in 1862 while
in the military service of China. China
paid to the United States more than
100000 indemnity for outrages
during the Boxer outbreak. OF this
less than 100000 was awarded to
claimants by this government and the
remainder was returned to China
with the exception of 100000 re-
served for belated claims.
Mr.. Foster received for this work
fee of $180,000. The matter is now
In the hands of a congressional COM
mittee for investigation. The amount
paid the claimants was $368,237.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
Doffin8
Ones Hat
in Public
Elevators
By GEORGE HUGHES
CHICAGO

the evening boarded bus for the Northwestern sta
Several seated Surely thought this place to
won't wait to take the from JIM So off tile
and into my ribs went Jms elbow"
"you IDIOT" he snapped, "is this an elevator?
s.No" answered cts conyeyor."
sWell then, put your hat
At the station magnificent coach Many
present "Surey" commented II can't this CASE So off
my hat and into my hssd "You hopeless pnhead pos
e you can't distinguish the difference between elevator and rail-
road coach?"
Each is public conveyance
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
TO PUBLISH A WORLD PAPER

Another movement is now under
way to bring the nations of the world
into closer and more friendly rela-
tons. The International Journal,
soon to be published in Paris and
which will essentially be an interna-
tional organ, and it is thought will
be a long step in promoting harmony
and friendship among nations.
The promoter of this new step In
Journalism is Theodore Stanton, son
of the late Elizabeth Cady Stanton,
one of the noted women of her time
and a pioneer in the cause of woman
suffrage. He has sounded the senti-
ment in the various capitals of Eu-
rope relative to the project and has
found 1t favorable
While French will be the language
mainly used in the publication, other
languages will be employed. The pa
per will have no policy, in the re-
stricted sense of the term, but viii
aim to publish truthfully and accu-
rately both sides of all questions Of
worldwide interest A large corps o
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
Pellagra
Endemic
Disease
Rather
Than
Epidemic


Bergamo reports disease endemic rather than epidemic
and that the cens have remained the for century
He found that when person into
pelagrous district spread Of pelagra occurred.
The fly midge gnat Whether have the kind
Of sand Av in this country studied the writer
not prepared say state entoog that
have with small nae insect called the sand fly Our
however be largely restricted to the coast country not
penetrating very inland rule The puny of the Adondacs
ii variety of said fly, also.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

Five hundred women and children
arrived in New York few days ago
CA their way from Scotland to join
their husbands and fathers who have
become farmers in Minnesota. Sas-
katcEewan and other states and prov
inces between there and the Pacific
This is one of the explanations of the
decrease of Scotland's population.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

Certain vague illusions in the pa
ssers lead to the suspicion that Keo-
kuk is building dam across the
Mississippi which will conserve all
the water Of that eccentric old stream
that is not needed for the mainten-
ance of its catfish Keokuk hitherto
has been called the gate city" Hence
forth it will be known as-but this is
merely conjectural
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

reduction in schedules the scholarship the physical
Of the and the ideals and finances
All these factors should be weight there
fore, determining their length.
Of these scholarship of stands paramount but the views OF
athlete manager and coach should due consideration and
if possible harmonious result obtained
For training and coaching team certain number OF contests are
Sufficient financial returns only from number
student body in the maintained only by
modicum of exhibitions
The ideal sport may be considerably less
the reduction should not be made SO
suddenly lose the support all concerned History be made TOO
For instance consider game
the ideal for college, but reduc
twenty eighteen the first be all that would be
Schedules however should be long require SO
make special legislation the part OF the faculty for
athletics This initiates the democracy OF the college
The varsity season" suggested by
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
HAS UNWATERED THE MAINE

General Bixby, chief of the army en-
gineers, who has had charge of the un-
watering of the Maine, recently ex-
pressed the opinion that the destruc-
ton of the battleship was caused by
the explosion of her magazines. NO
external explosion, in his Judgment
could have caused the conditions oD-
served in the remains of the vessel.
But General Bixby added that the prl-
mary cause of the explosion would
likely never be known, so the mys-
terry of the Maine, unlike the hull IL
self, may never be revealed. General
Bixby said that unless the fragment
of a torpedo could be found there is
no way of connecting an outside
agency with the blowing up OF the
vessel.
The destruction to the vessel was
such, says General Bixby, and the de-
terioration has been so great that II
is impossible TO tell whether the ship
was blown up from force within OF
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

A Chicago doctor is quoted as say
sng that 60 per cent. Of the dogs that
bite people are infected with rabies.
Then the popular impression that be-
ing bitten by mad dog is fatal seems
to be pretty thoroughly refuted, mas
much as no rabies epidemic among hui
man subjects has been reported
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

arrived the other day, met cousin Jim.
and he offered to show me the town In
large Office building on State street we
stepped into the public elevator Four
women and two men, besides our humble
selves, we're present. One of the men was
uncovered. Jim dotted. 1 followed suit.
Coming down we dotted again, ladies be-
ing in the car.
Next, we boarded street car. Women
were much in evidence and uncovered
Jim didn't. Instead he gave me nudge.
Men frowned at me and women smiled, as
much as TO say. 'sHe is off but evidently
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
Well Anpliad.

William Dean Howells, the noted
novelist, was talking at the Authors
club in New York about a charge Of
plaigaism that had been brought
against Mark Twain.
"A big man like Twain stealing
from a little man like Blank!" said
Mr.. Howells. This, surely, is a case
for applying the old Hindoo proverb:
THE plagarist.'
"The ass heard the lion roar, and
cried:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

A Philadelphia woman gets di.
worce rather than live in Chicago.
Quoting George Ade: Somebody
must live here" However, the time
from Philadelphia to New York has
been cut to less than two hours.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

A man in New York who has
achieved an international reputation
as an inventive engineer while out on
bail on a charge of larceny, now goes
CD Jail for two years and six months.
The state can we'll afford to see that
he has eisure in captivity to go on
with his inventions.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

a punch in the jaw" delivered by
n wife laid her husband up for TWEEN
.Ey-two weeks. With a passion, for ex-
act detail, he also reports that the
third vertebra was displaced one-six-
S4eenth of an inch.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

Because her husband kissed her
only twice a day during their honey
moon a New York lady has applied
for divorce. Probably they were
etingy little kisses, too.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

The people of Charleston, S. c.. are
Tabilant because fifteen babies were
born there in one night recently.
Charleston may be expected to imme-
diAtely apply for the taking of new
census.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

The kaisers only daughter is Is, of
& sunny disposition, and will marry
whom she chooes. Other recommen.
dations may be had by addressing her
Gather at his Berlin residence
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10


Whether this from mpaneuc
inquiry
winch
findings and the view of General Blk
torpedo NINE Will be vndcated IN the
opinion generally at the navy
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

Wheat from an ancient Egyptian
comb has been successfully planted
en- Colorado, so good wheat must have
been selected by the cute Arab guides
who put it in the tomb.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
Those
Who
Succeed
and
Others
BY b. g. CLARKE

happens be less experienced older otherwise at dd-
vantage
l. one believe phenomenal failure accidental
While undoubtedly of ability and average industry stands
average meeting with does not follow that
needy misfortune that Millionaire excessively
polite could sit table and devour all the good food
sight while others Of reach Of the dishes sat fasting
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

nave been inoculated with rabies by
being hit by bullet which passed
through mad dog. Fast thing, the
germ that can hook onto a bullet.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

Out at Omaha debating society has
decided that the horse is more desir-
xhle than the automobile. The So
clety must be made up of people who
get wages instead of salaries.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

A New York judge has decided that
a woman is not entitled to alimony
when she makes her husband cook his
own breakfast Hooray!
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

A Frenchman who recently visited
this country says that he found many
climates in America. Quite true, and
now and then they have habit of
coming all at once.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

I am glad that some one has a good
word to say for the members of the unfor-
tunate class whom custom stigmatizes as
sbums." When people get little virtue
their first instinct seems to be to blacken
the character of others in order to secure
a contrast which can show up their own
imaginary white wings. The first man
they meet who is penniless or sick falls
victim of their virulent vanity.
No one who has seen life has missed the
sight of some cheap braggart, elated with
some little success, browbeating and AFRO
gantly empowering some poor fellow who
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10


tourists by having them IN heavily fined
Mr. Loeb smuggling much
crime counteetng
to be crime plain daylight
webbed condition. William
general Theodore
receive salary of $4,000 a
AS a
his brothers and sisters he became
the official
stenographer
Albany
all problems of the
weighing
Of Richard who his Albany.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

Austria is to charge its tobacco
smokers $15,O00,OOO more year. It's
object is not to cure them of smoking.
either.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

Senator Clark has a $125,000 pipe
organ in his mansion, but when it
comes TO music we have no doubt
that the senator prefers ragtime.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
MAN AT THE CUSTOMS GATE

William Loeb, Jr., is the collector
of the Port of New York. He is the
Man at the Gate. Against him come
yearly 100000 tourists and million
immigrants in the feet of 5000 ships.
All manner of merchandise goes
through his gate-more than thou
sand million dollars worth in year.
This man has to sort it and appraise
it and tax it If 1t is taxable. OF all
the people and the merchandise that
enter the United States seven-tenths
come through the port of New York
and Loeb stands there with q staff
to take the toll for the government
on all that stupendous amount of traf-
fic.
Although he has been no more
than q months in Office he has in
creased the gettings of the govern
ment by more than $15,00O,O0O He
has enforced the commandment
Thou shalt not smuggle" as fully
on the rich as upon the poor. He has
locked up nearly dozen persistent
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

A professor of chemistry stopped
runaway horse by dashing ammonia
into its face. There's a device that
might be tried on runaway husbands.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10
Athletic
Number of Games
Should be Reduced
All Around
By PAUL C. PHILLIPS. M. d.

BELIEVE thoroughly in intercollegiate sport but in general
viewing the number of athletic contests occurring between col
eges throughout the country, should say unhestangy
to this question The tendency of the last twenty has
been toward the increase of intercollegiate contests in each
sport and the addition of SPORTS until the number has
passed the normal for institution of higher learning Shed
ue of 25 games term time in any branch OF inter
collegiate athletics certainly transcend the laws OF proportion
in college life The general public recognizes that.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

A. kfnd-hearted New Jersey yard.
master held freight car five weeks
on a siding because thrush had
built Der nest on one of its trucks.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

A Massachusetts man was choked
Co death by his celluloid collar. An
other argument for the modern, up
tOdate rag sitter.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

A physician tells US that yawning
Is good for the health. At any rate
people who are in the habit of yawn-
ing rarely break down from overwork
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-08-10

Mr.. Derby, former Harvard varsity football player,
in the Outlook last fall has much to commend it, espe-
cialy its fostering of widespread collegiate sport 1t
consists in allowing only about four weeks for the
varsity season in each sport previous to which there
shall be as many teams possible interclass, inter
fraternity and what not-in which the athletic ma
teria shall get conditioned physically learn the game
and be tried out for the varsity squad Intra-colegi-
ate games having concluded, an end-ofheseason VAR
sity series concludes the schedule.