davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
ADMIRALS IN THE MAKING.
The Course For Midshipmen at the
Naval Academy and at Sea.


Naval Academy and at Sea.
Two midshipmen are appointed each
year by every United States senator
and congressman. TWO are credited to
the District of Columbia. and Eve are
named each year from the United
States at large. All are generally
chosen by competitive examination.
The course for the midshipman is
six years. four years at the academy
and two years at sea. at the explra
ton of which time the candidate is
required 10 take his examination for
graduation All midshlpmen who pass
these examinations are appointed to
fill vacancies in the lower grade of the
line of the navy.
All candidates for admission to the
academy must be physically sound
well formed and of vigorous constitu
tion. No boy who is manifestly un
dersized will be admitted. The height
Of the candidate must not be less than
FIVE feet two inches between the ages
Of sixteen and eighteen and not less
than five feet four inches between the
ages Of eighteen and twenty. The
minimum weight of the candidate at
sixteen must be 100, with an increase
of i've pounds for each additional year
or fraction of a year more than one
half.
No midshipman is permitted to mar
ry between the date Of his graduation
from the academy and his final grad
uation for appointment in the line
without the consent of the secretary
Of the navy. The pay of the midship-
man is 5000 year. beginning with the
date of his admission to the academy.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
HER PRETTY TEETH.
They Are All Fer Very Own. and the
Dentist Has q Grievance.

They Are All Fer Very Own. and the
Dentist Has Grievance.
Men in every other profession and
business have the advantage of der
lists in the matter of advertising" said
q man with forceps in his hand. .Thcl
can persuade good looking young wo
men to wear their goods for photo
graphic purposes; the dentist cannot
The whitest. evenest set of false teei y
ever made cannot tempt a woman t.
wear them and be photographed with
her mouth wide open.
Manufacturers of cosmetics and ar
tificial hair are besieged by womeI
who are willing TO daub their face
with paint and powder and build thei
heads out with puffs and braids into
any style of architecture desired fel
Photographic advertisements Neither
do they balk at patent wearing ap
parel The most absurd garment ever
invented can find somebody to pose iii
it before the camera But false teeth
are universally bIacklisted
Every woman who gets photograph
ed with her mouth spread into a smlif
wants people to think that the teeth
she shows are her own. and the dentisi
who would dare to label the picture
These teeth made by DR.. Blank wonld
lay grounds for libel New
York Times.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
Correct WAY to Roll Umbrella.

A badly rolled up umbrella, besides.
looking unsightly does not wear half,
as long as it ought to. The process of
rolling an umbrella is very simply.
The majority hold it by the handle andi
keep twisting the stick with one hand.
while with the other they twist ands
roll the silk. Instead of this they
should take hold of the umbrella just
above the ribs Of the cover. These
points naturally lie evenly with the
stick. They should be kept hold Of
and pressed tightly against the stock
and then the cover should be rolled up.
Holding the ribs thus prevents them.
from getting twisted out of place or
bending out of shape, and the silk is
bound to follow evenly and roll smooth.
and tight. If an umbrella is rolled in.
this fashion it will look as If newly
bought for long time.-Boston Her.
aid
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
Good clothe. and Good Morals.

1t is doubtful whether any one TO
whom soap and water and more oi
less tidy clothes are a matter of course
can rightly estimate the extent to
which this question of clothes anG
cleanliness bears upon the criminality
of youths. Dirty. ragged garments
greasy caps and neck scarfs worn day
after day without the possibility of a
change are. | believe. responsible fo'
much. Certain it is that the lad who
is content with but one set of raimenT
invariably belongs to a very low stra
tum of society, and the absence OF a
desire for Sunday suit and the un
abashed wearing of the weekday suit
on the Sunday is very frequently III
deed the mark of one largely imper,
vious to outside infuences.-C. e. E
Russell in Young Goal Birds"
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
A Bible Library.

Probably the finest collection of.
Bibles in the world is that in the IL
brary of the General Theological semi
nary in Chelsea square, New York. In
the fireproof Bible room on the second
floor are more than 1.20O different edi-
tons of the Bible. in all about 1900
volumes. arranged on shelves and in
glass cases OF these 800 editions are
In Latin. making l.053 volumes. OF
''polyglot' editionS-in more than one
language-there are 93, in 500 volumes.
The most interes ting of the Bibles is
the Gutenberg volume. printed at Mo-
guntia between l450 and l455 by jos
bannes Gutenberg. which has always
ranked as Il masterpiece of art.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
PlYinq His Trade.

A man who had been caught In a
raigned not long ago before a local
magistrate.
"What is ycur trade?" the magis.
trate asked.
81 am a locksmith, sir"
"And what were you doing in the
gambling dent" pursued the magis-
trate. 'sWhat were you doing when
the police ente"ed?"
The locksmith looked up into the
magistrates face with an expression
of sublime innocence.
"Why. your honor" he answered, 81
was making Il bolt for the door,.
Philadelphia Times.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02

that got HoXsey, Johnstone and Moi.
SAINT and which gets 'em ALL Every
flight of noted aviator is thoroughly
followed by Moran.
The little fellow will go into the
aviation business. He has made ar
rangements with the Wright brothers
to buy two planes, which he will
study from the mechanical end and
endeavor to skill himself into such
degree that Owen Moran, pugilist, will
become Owen Moran, aviator.
Moran will begin his side career in.
Paris next June, he says. Daredevil
Schryer. the man who did the deadly
bicycle dive, will be his business part
ner. Schryer is now flying. He is
great mechanician. according to Mo.
ran, and he will do the flying until
Moran becomes expert, when he, too
will take chances with death.
Watching the flights of Grahame
White at Boston was what turned
Moran's mind to aviation. He becam
immensely interested and determined
to take an upward trip some time
himself.
Owen is philosophical about it. He
says you might as well die conquerine
the air as in any other way. He be
lieves in the doctrine of predestina
ton. He thinks that when a mans
time comes he goes to the other world
"And. besides, you're getting paid fol
dying" explains he.
columbus took chance and dis.
covered America. The old world
thought he was dippy. The world
may think Pm dippy, too. but l may
discover something. I may become Il
famous bird man. There's possibili-
ty. And if don't can go back to
fighting"
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
A WELSH JAWBREAKER.
The Great Bis Name of a Charming
Little VILLAGE.


Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrn
drobwllllandysiliogogogoch is a charm
ing little village in Anglesey. Wales
and favorite visiting place for tour
tsta There are many other charmin;
little villages in Wales-all over th,
world, in fact, but none with q name
pike that. Llanfairpw., ETC., mean
"the Church of St Mary in a hollow
white hazel near to the rapid whirlpool
and to the Church of st Tysilio by th,
red cave"
1t is declared that only a WelshmaI
can pronounce the name of the village
but there is no harm in you trying
you wish. The first syllable, "Llan,'
Is very simple. You must double bacI
your tongue along the roof of you
mouth and get ready to say somethin,
that sounds halfway between "clan'
and "thlan," and there you've got 1t
The second syllable, fair" is encou1
agingly simple. And if you want to gs
on and learn the whole name of the
village the following rhyme may be o.
assistance:
At first 1t began fair,
Commencing with Llanfair,
Then started jingle
BY adding Pwllgwyngyll.
But was horrible, very,
To stick on Gogery
And simply ignoble
To run to Chwyrndrobwll,
TIL it almost will kill you
To say LlandysiliO.
With terrible shock
AT the end Gogogoch
The inhabitants of the village anc'
the postoffice authorities have shorten
ed the name to Llanfair P. G., while
the railroad limits it to Llanfair.-New.
York World.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
PAYING I PAINTER.
verrio's Reward For Decorating Two
English Royal Palaces.

verrio's Reward Fur Decorating Two
English Royal Palaces.
Rubens received for his painting OF
the grand ceiling at the banquetine
house. Whitehall. the sum of f4.0O0
The space covered by this painting is
about 400 yards. so that he was paid
nearly f1O yard. In addition to this
remuneration. he was knighted, and
chain of gold was also presented ia
him by Charles |.
Sir James Thornhhl. the first Eng
lishman who received knighthood for
yard for the laboriouS work on the
ceiling Of Greenwich hospital and only
FL yard for painting the ornaments
on the walls. The Duke Of Mon
tague." says Sir james Thornhill I'm his
memorial to the commissioners foi
building the hospital, paid NJ RosSc
for his saloon $4,000 and kept an px
traordinary table for him. his friends
and servants for two years while the
work was being done at an expense
estimated at $500 per annum"
Signor Verrio was paid for the who'll
palaces of Windsor and Hampton
cOurt-ceilingS. front and back stairs
at 8 shillings a square foot. which /.
f3 12s a yard. exclusive of gliding
had wine daily allowed to him. lode
ings in the palaces and when his ere
sight failed him II pension of f200 per
annum and an allowance of wine fo'
life.-PearSon's Weekly.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
The Mikado's Title.

The ruler of Japan really should b.
called ten-o. not mikado. The aIteI
means royal gate" and is ii title some
what similar so sublime porte. which
is used indiffarently to mean the Turk
ish sultan. bis government or the tnun
try itself Tea-o means "heavpns
highest" title surprising all the most
grandiloquent European efforts The
original Japanese equivalent for ten-o
IL soumelamikoto. but the former is
universally used. perhaps on account
OF its hrevity
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
OWEN MORAN WOULD
DEFY DEATH IN AIR.
English PugiIist intends to Turn Hh
Attention to Aviation.

They say it takes nerve to be a
fighter, but more nerve is required in
the battle with the air, which men
hope in time to conquer with their lit
tie monoplanes, biplanes and the TWEEN.
ty other kinds Of planes manipulated
by famous bird men. Owen Moran is
a fighter who has fought enough and
well enough TO be recognized as one
of the greatest lightweights England
ever produced. Now he wants to be
champion of the air. 1t will be grant
ed he has nerve
Morans hobby is flying. He spends
a good deal of time in studying the
intricacies of the treacherous game
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
BUSY PEOPLE.
Here's a Writer Who Says They Rare
ly Accomplish Big Things.


ly Accomplish Big Things.
The sun is blazing down on the gar
den in which lives a saint, so called
whom visited one day in Bombay
He has not spoken for twenty-three
years, and his neighbors look upon
him with awe. Some months later |
visited at Davos Platz a man who for
nearly thirty years has been studying
drops of blood under microscope
He is getting as close to life as he can,
but admits that he knows little more
than the sage In his hot garden al
Bombay. Both the western scientist
and the eastern sage smile indulgently
at the fussiness of modern life.
My own experience of men in many
lands has taught me that the most
active are least valuable 1t is n nota
bic survival of the simian in man that
so many people think that constan,
mental and physical activity is a meas.
ure of value. Busy people seldom az
complish anything The statue. Tho
poem. the painting, the solution of the
economic. financial or social problem.
the courage and steadfastness for war
even are all born in Seclusion and ap
pear mysteriOusly from nowheret Mo
liere. Cromwell, Washington. Lincoln
Shakespeare. Dante ana Cervantes All
appear from nowhere and promptly
take command OF the busybodieS
What crowd of men we all recall
who were SO busy making themselves
remembered that they are already for
gotteni-Price Collier in Scribners
Magazine
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
Mo Reason to Worry.

81 once played the part of Venus in
pantomime said the lady who
showed her age and was beginning TO
have a muStache.
replied the one who was still fair to
look upon Venus was only myth
so. of course. you didn't hurt her feel
ings. ."-Chicago Record Herald
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
n Is Just a Habit.

"I suppose. Eileen" she remarked TO
the new girl. with feigned Indifference
''that you overheard my husband and
me conversing rather earnestly this
morning. hope however. that you
did not think anything unusual was
going on?''
"Niver a bit. mum. OF wanst had 81
husband meself. an niver a day pass
ed that tn neighbors didn't behave one
or TIL other uv us would be kilt en-
toirly y"-Success Magazine.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
SPORTS in SMALL CHUNKS

New Orleans has a fifty-one team
indoor baseball league.
The Swedish government donated
$4,000 toward Olympic games.
Moving pictures of the Jetfries-John
son fight have already neteed profit
of $245.O00.
The Polo association handicap list
contains the names of 1888 men whe
play the great equestrian game.
Ernest Barry. present professional
sculling champion of England, is to de
fend his title against William Albany
Carl Morris. the alleged white
mans hope has Indian blood in his
veins. His mother was a Cherokee
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
say I can lick der whole crowd in tw.

say can lick der whole crowd in tive
minutes by some clocks. Den one
man comes out und speaks silently to
me. He says dot one hoonered dollars
vhas an error of shudgment. 1t should
be one t'ousandr'
"By golly"
eyes, sir, one t'ousand, but being I
vhas new customer he settles nit
me dis time for three dollar. Der gas
company likes to go to Europe on a
vacation und he needs dot t'ousand
dollars awful bad, but he can't have
me dissatisfied"
"Und so you pay him?' l says.
81 do, und den What happens? Dot
same night when we vhas all asleep
dot meter begins to growl und wakes
us oop. She growls und shakes. She
groans und sighs. She likes to get
down from der shelf und shump
around Why, she scares us most to
deathp'
"Und what you do?"
81 call in a policeman He says dot
meter has der collie, but vhill get over
it in time. He helps it by hitting it
NIT his club. In der morning she vhas
all right"
"Und so you don't have no more
troubler'
Don't I? By some horn spoons, but
l do! She shakes some more next
day, und l call der plumber. He says
der trolley vhas off der wire, und he
fixes it und charges me two dollar.
Dot same evening she shakes und
groans again. calls in an electrician,
und after feefteen minutes he finds
200 volts too much und charges me a
dollar und half"
"Und now she vhas all K or"
''Shust for dot night. When we vhas
eating breakfast next morning dot me-
ter begins to whistle like tugboat. l
send boy for der gas company. He
comes und looks around und says dot
meter don't have der right kind of
safety valve on it, but he vhill make
der change"
'fVhell?"
The Meter Smashed.
"Vhell, for two days she vhas all
right. She don't shake und groan, but
vhas like a lady. / begin to believe l
vhas nominated for alderman und dot
my wife vhas in high society When
smell comes in der house."
"Vhas it some roses?" I ask
"Not on your lifesl It vhas like one
t'ousand bad eggs dot vhas broken
BY golly, but you smell him half a
miller
"Und it vhas dot meter|'
"She vhas. She vhas broke loose
She vhas kicking oop. She vhas dane
ing around She vhas two hoonered
volts. She vhas five hoonered amperes.
She vhas four hoonered pounds steam
pressure TO square inches"
"Und you can't do somet'ings?"
"Oh, can't? | show you. I shump
for her nit der ak und hit und hit und
smash und smash. und in two minutes
she vhas some dead gas meter. Den
plug oop der pipe NIT stick. und all
vhas serene. don't be an alderman,
und my wife don't go in high society.
but we have no more troubles"
"Und Sound sO''-
'Und so. Hans" he says ash he goes
out. ''if come in here again und find
some water instead of beer you look
out a lectle. l vhaS q kerosene man,
but I vhas dangerous when I see wa
ter mitout froth on top of it."
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
A Grand Climax.

1t was the cub reporters first
assignment. the obituary of a
prominent city man who had
been fatally injured in an auto
mobile accident.
In his writeup he vividly de-
scribed the tragic circumstance.
referring tu the bereavement
sustained by the family. "The
widow" he concluded. sis almost
grief stricken. Success Maga-
zine.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
American to Run In French Marathon

John Kallas. the Chicago grocery
clerk. wearing the colors of the Mark
White square, will compete for Ameri
ca in the French Marathon to be run
at Paris. July "a. KallaS was selected
for his test by popular acclaim. secur.
ing 1902 votes. He will leave for the
French metropolis the latter end Of
June and after running in Paris will
also compete in a London distance
race
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
The. Charm of ENGLAND.

1t is not strange that Englishmen
should be. as certainly they are. pas
sionate lovers of their country, for
their country is almost beyond parallel
peaceful. gentle and beautiful. Even
in vast London. where practical life
asserts itself with such prodigious
force, the stranger is impressed in
every direction with a sentiment of
repose and peace.-William Winter.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
The 1etort Catfish.

First Sweet Thing-Oh. he's awfully
gone upon her. dear. l assure you
thinks she's the most beautiful crea-
ture in existence. | should imagine
He's been praising her beauty to me
for the last ten minutes. enlarging up
on her eyes. her complexion. her
mouth
Second Sweet Thing-Oh, I don't
think he could possibly do that, dar.
lingl-Tit-B Bits.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02

every half hour. Nobody vhas sooch
a happy man as me. Den one day
along comes man who says:
"'Mr. Hammerdinger, you was
happy man. but not so happy ash you
might be-
How vhas dot?
"'Because you burn kerosene. No
man who burns kerosene can be real
happy. 1t smells. Der can leaks. Der
cook puts 1t in der stove und blows
you oop. When rich peoples go past
your house dey point und say dat you
don't amount to much
"'Und What shall dor
Put In a gas meter und burn gas.
She vhas der stuff. She makes a big
light. She saves money. She looks
rich. If you have gas in your house
you can make some poker parties und
win enough to pay der bills. Do you
think you shall run for alderman
some day?
Gas and Politics.
"T know l SHALL
"'Vhell, let me tell you If you vhas
a kerosene candidate you vhas showed
under Der voters won't have it. Ev-
cry one vhill say you vhas some back
numbers. You must be a gas meter
candidate to win
"You see, Hans" said Mr.. Hammer
dinger. ''he vhas der gas man, und he
likes to put meter in my house. Der
pipes vhas In. but | never burn gas
yet. l vhas afraid of her After dis
man goes AWAY l talks NIT my wife.
und she says maype it vhas all right.
She likes to go in high society, but she
can't do it on Kerosene She likes me
to be alderman, but l can't be on kero-
sene. so we believe we shall have
gas meter"
"Und do you get him?" I says.
''Sure-iust as sure ash dot you have
some water in dot pail When you ought
to have beer. When der mans come
around again I tell him to go ahead.
und in two days she vhas done. go
down cellar NIT my wife und look at
dot meter. und we vhas proud. We
vhas some back numbers no more.
When we light der gas dot man says:
"'Now. Mr.. Hammerdinger. you go
ahead und run for alderman. und bet
you beat der odder feller by million
votes. Tomorrow your wife can go on
Fifth avenue und call on all der rich
ladies'"
'Und how vhas it?" | ask of Mr.
Hammerdinger when he don't say not
tings more for three minutes.
How vhas itr' he yells as he shumps
oop. "She vhas swindle. Hans-she
vhas a swindler'
''How do You mean?
''Vhy. in fifteen days I get my bill
How much do you believe it vhas?"
"Ten dollars. MAYBE"
''She vhas a hoonered dollars, Hans
hoonered dollars. Not one cent lessl
BY golly. bur my hair stands oop like
wiresr'
''But you don't payT
Rumpus With the Company.
mo. I goes by dot gas company
0nd talk. ! roar. shout, I swear. I
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
AHaekr After weiaht Lifting Title,

Hackenschmidt is reported matched
in England for the weight lifting
championship. the contest to occur
with an Englishman on his return
from his tour of the United States. 1t
is said in England that Hackenschmidt
is to give up wrestling after his tour
here and devote his time to weight
lifting and posing in the Sandow
fashion.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
Timber and Lumber.

"Paw. is there any difference be-
tween timber and lumber?'
There is no necessary difference in
kind. my son. They differ merely in.
degree or stage of development For
example. man may be spoken of as.
good timber for some high Office and
yet represent nothing but lumber when,
he gets there. Chicago Tribune
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
Reminded Her.

"Shoes come awfully highr' sighed
the father of the family.
THAT reminds me, papa" said his
sixteen-year-old daughter, that want
a pair reaching nearly to the knee.
All the other girls are wearing that
kind."- Chicago Tribune.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
His Weakness.

Wigg-Your friend the actor seems
rather eccentric. Wagg-He's the per-
sonification of eccentricity. Why, that
man actually admits there are other
artors just as. good as he is.-Phila-
delphA Record
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
Tbs Same Thinn.

The Ex- widow-You can't say ever
ran after You. Percival The Second
Helping-Very true. Hypatia The
trap never runs after the rat, but it
gathers him in. all the same-London
Tatier.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
Match Not Gninn

Cholly--What's the time. old chap!
I've an invitation to dinner at and
my watch isn't going. Gussie-Why,
wasn't your watch invited. too, deaf
boy ?-Boston Transcript
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
De Gro NAV Give un Pool.

Alfred De Orc. who has been eleven
times pool champion and twice three
cushion billiard champion. may devote
all his time to the latter game.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
Tbs Restorative

flows your wife's cold this morn
ipg?' asked a neighbor.
''Much better. thank you. There's
a dance tomorrow evening that she
wants to go to."-Detroit Free Press
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02

A word of kindness is seldom spoken
In vain. 1t is seed which. even when
dropped by chance, springs up o.
flower.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02

Howell-Have you any creed?
Powell-T make it a rule never to be
struck by an automobile before break
fast.-New York Press.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02

When man sits down and hopes
for the best he is apt to get the worst
Of it
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
Gas YARN To HANS
Hammerdinger Tells How He Quit
Kerosene.
THE LIGHT THAT FAILED.

Political and Social Ambition at the
Bottom of It-Monthly Bill Staggered
Him, and the Meter Groaned-Warn-
ing to the Shoemaker.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1911-03-02
BY M. QUAD.

BY M. QUAD.
copyright, 1910. by Associated Literary
Press.l
n LEY good friend Mr.. Hammer
i" dinger comes into my shop
der odder day for der first
time in three months. /
thought maybe he run over some auto
und hurt himself. He goes by der
water pail to see if some beer vhas in
it, und when he didn't find some he
says to me:
dot vhas all right, Hans. If you
like to drink water und bust oOp your
business und be dead man in six
months it vhas nottings to me. l don't
go by your funeral"
don't say nottings in reply, und by
und by he gets over his madness und
asks:
Hans. do you haf some gas meter in
your houseY
"No."
"Do you know about emp
81 shust see 'em sometimes"
"Vhell. you let 'em alone. You keep
avhay from 'em. 1t vhas better dot
you have ten Black Hands after you
dan one gas meter"
do you have one?' l asks.
"Listen to me, Hans. My home was
a happy one. 1t vhas happiness from
morning till night. 1t vhas like long
summers day. nit glass of cold beer