davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12
THE GoODY, GoODY GIRL

Carolyn Wells In Judge.
When Lucy was
an infant small
She was a model
child
She never. never
cried at all,
But only slept
and smiled.
And then when Lucy
older grew,
And tried TO talk
and toddla,
She did no thing she
ouRhtn't 20,
But still behaved
model.
When Lucy was, say,
twelve years old.
And growing tall
and slightly
She did whatever she
was told,
And curetseyed
most politely.
At sixteen Lucy was a dear,
At eighteen quite a beauty.
She lived without a care or fear,
And always did her duty.
She was Perfectlon'E Perfect Pink
A character unflawed.
Unworthy thoughts she could not think:
Her mind was fair and broad
She said things she ought to say.
She acted she should;
She lived her life the noblest way
oh, my but she was good!
What happened next?" you ask OF me.
Well can't answer you.
just made Lucy up you see
She's too good TO be true.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

The redoubtable Dan" Custer has
landed the responsible and lucrative
job Of custodian" by virtue and au-
thority Of the senate Of the state Of
Nebraska. and the party of Thomas
Jefferson and saint Jackson is
agar vindicated. Hurrah for Dan.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12
A Cnuse for wonder.
indianapolis News.

FVII0
With the Interstate Commerce commits
sion making such radical reductions OF
freight rates in the Rocky mountain region
one wonders more than ever why an in
crease should be allowed east of the Mis-
sisslppi and north Of the Ohio and Potomac
rivers.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Boost for Omaha. The enthusiasm
of the true booster does not cool on,
no matter what temperature the Their
mometer records.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12
How Things Average Tn.

Things average up pretty we'll I'm this
world; the man who doesn't spend a good
deal Of time hunting for things he put
away spends a lot of time putting them
away in their proper places.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

II the mayor of bellicose Memphis
is looking for trouble, let him chal-
lenge the mayor OF Omaha to a rope
throwing contest.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Subscribers leaving the clay tenn
PQrarily should have The Bee
mailed 20 them. Address will be
changed as often aa requested.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Owing 70 the unprecedented pros
perity of republican rule, that Jackson
day feast ought to lack nothing to
make Il an elaborate success.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Those suspected druggists are given
their liquor permits for the ensuing
year, but are warned not to do 1t
again,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

As soon as Los Angeles finds
enough dynamiters to all out those
twenty-five indictments maybe It will
have some convictions.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

With hobble skirts against a sixty
mile wind, is 1t any wonder Chicago
women are finding life an uphill task
these days?
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

It il now a question which is first in
the battle for supremacy, Mr.. Carne-
gie's world peace foundation or his
public library endowment fund.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12
Around New York

nipples m the Current o. Life
az Seen in the Great American
Metropolis from nay 90 nay.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

The new governor of Texas already
has got mixed up in an aeroplane run
away. Better stay close to earth,
governor.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Many a lawyer is richer because the
Sherman antitrust law has not been
repealed.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

The Atchison Globe contends that a
man who cannot keep a cook by mar
rying her should board. A good many
OF them do.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Oregon's activity in raising crops Of
political reforms is threatening to put
Kansas woefully in the shade.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

DWIGHT WILLIAMS.
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed in my presence and sworn to
before me this 3lst day OF December, 1910.
ROBERT HUNTER,
Notary Public.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

At any rate, King Ak-Sar-Ben has
enough money left over in his ex.
chequer to buy a new lid.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

An Indiana man sues for a divorce
because his wife battles her dog in the
dishpan. Sick 'em.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

"Airship to Circle the Globe. -
Headline. The seasons prize joke.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

faithful and hungry democratic work
ers are turned down because there is
not enough pie TO go around.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Western lads who have come up
since the old wild west days and crave
taste of them might go to Massachu-
sets. where things are riotously wild.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

1t is safe to say that the proposed
job of jury commissioner at a salary
OF $4,000 will not go a-begging.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Zangwell's new play, The God of
War" ought to make a big hit with
Mr.. Carnegie.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12
TAPPING THE FUNNYBONE.

SO the yu0nE surgeon yog told We ot
b. cugagcd Co % telephone operator.
Yes. theirs is a case ot mutual 81 hue
What do Won mcone
"Why. sho made O. practice oi y.'i'ua
folks OFF aud be- ui vftuug them up.
Baltimore American
Mrs Gra,-Uha, book has been the
most helpful Go ypu'
Mrs Browu-W ebster's dictionary. Inc
baby sits ON "a al the table, and % q es
the price of a high-cteir Toledo Bl"ao.
Does 1t cost much TO clotho a family
asked the economical man
Not mine. replied Mr. sirius BARKER
MY only daughter g. barefoot dancer
and my only SON H. a marathon runner -
Washington star
Reggar- Please help me 20 recover my
child
Lady--Is your child lost
BegEar-Nu. mum, hut his clothes are
worn out-Boston Transcript.
"Iiows your wife getting oions at her
Fine So far nobodys put up better
lunch than she did."-Detroit Free Press
~ never enjoyed your chance Tor an
education said the reproached father
Well replied the flippant youth,
when It comes to that / don't believe
enjoy it myself Chicago Record Herald.
Lady Customer-Do you keep coffee in
New Cierk-Upstalrs. madam. this is the
ground floor.-l'rinceton Tiger.
They tell me AIRY is a boomin' fine
"'E's pretty falrish. When they ad
them bloody hanarChists OF 'Oundsdltrh
cooped up tn other dy AIRY missed tn
,ouse only three times out Of five!'-Cleys-
land Plain Dealer.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Representative Bob" Holmes un-
Quenched solicitude for pure beer is
really distressing.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
state OF Nebraska, Douglas County, 90.
Dwight Williams circulation manager OF
The Bee Publishing Company being duly
sworn, says that the actual number Of full
Evening and Sunday Bees printed during
the month OF December 1910, was fol-
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

1t is reported that Harry Payne
Whitney has got to Chile already in
his race for the South Pole.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Because he knew his patient the doctor
was not at all ruffled when she exclaimed
But can't, doctor; 1t is no use talking
/ just can't, l hate milk. / can't drink
it, ! will take any kind of medicine you
wish me to, but / cannot swallow sweet
milk"
Very we'll" he said soothingly Then
he opened the door and from the kitchen
there drifted in the smell Of popping corn.
who is popping corn?' she asked.
Your nurse" said the doctor
Half an hour later he persuaded her to
taste spoonful Of milk.
why, that's not so bad, after ALL" she
said. What did you do to it?'
Soaked that popped corn in it," said
he. Gives 1t an entirely different taste,
doesn't It? Sweet milk's bitterest enemy
is bound TO say it is drinkable after il
has soaked up the essence Of popped corn
for ten or fifteen minutes"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

The New York walters have adopted an
unwritten code designating the size Of a
tip and their characterization Of the man
who gives 1t.
Thus nickel is a tight" as indicating
that the donor is a tight wad. A dime be-
comes a throw" which implies that the
waiter has been thrown down. A quarter
is a pass meaning that IL is a passable
tip, but none too large for the service rend-
cred Fifty cents is good" and a dollar
or more becomes a rock" which suggests
that Rockefeller has been at the table.
At the Ohio Society annual dinner one
of the men at table threw a quarter into
a silver ash tray and passed It to the next
man. who added his mite. Also the third.
The waiter saw the move at this point
He jumped for the dish and emptied It,
lie gave quick look over his shoulder
and then turned to the table and said:
II thank YOU gentlemen, and shall be glad
to receive what you-are good enough to
give. But II the head waiter sees what
get ! lose the most OF It,"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

~ never enjoyed your chance Tor an
education said the reproRched father.
well" replied the fippant youth
when Il comes to that / don't believe [
enjoy II myself Chicago Record Herald
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

"Hows your wife getting ATOMS al her
card Club?'
Fine So far nobodyS put mp a better
lunch than she did"-Detroit Free Press
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Lady Customer-Do you keep coffee in
the BEAM
New Clerk-Cpstars. madam this IS the
ground floor.-prinCeton Tiger
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Walking in her sleep Is said to have
caused the death of Miss Sophia schmutz,
domestic servant in the family of Will
liam Hirsch, West Arverne, L. l.. whose
body was discovered in the surf. The body
was being rolled back and forth by the
waves, and was clad only in a long blue
and white striped flannel nightgown, and
an overcoat.
When the HirsCh family came down to
breakfast they found that their new ser
want. whom MIR. Hirsch had hired only the
night before was missing. Mrs. Hirsch
found the girls clothing in her room and
the back door unlocked. Mr., Hirsch was
then informed by the police Of the finding
OF a drowned woman and identified her as
his missing domestic. Frederick Schmutz a
carpenter, of Brooklyn. stated that his sis
ter walked in her sleep. The Hirsch home
is only about 500 feet from the water, and
It is thought the girl wandered into the
breakers and was overcome.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

Customs inspectors at New York having
pinched the rich globe trotters and put the
fear Of smuggling deep into their cash
boxes. are about TO extend the cold cammy
hand to the small fry and exact tribute
Under the law everyone Is allowed 20 bring
In goods to the value Of 500. II has been
stated officially that a man could bring
bale Of hay worth SiO0 Il he wanted to.
Now all this Is changed An order recently
issued forbids bringing in ell presents free
Of duty, and even household articles or
small articles not for personal use This
ruling which goes into effect at once, eN-
ciudes from the 500 free list articles other
than wearing apparel and other persona,
effects purchased abroad" II Is estimated
that many thousands OF dollars will be
collected on articles which have previously
been admitted free incidentally. the Gus
toms officials are delighted with the new
order. since they say It decides beyond
argument what may be admitted, and gives
II EN- authority to act in cases which prev
iously have led to delay and confusion.
Believing It almost impossible for a man
troubled with bad teeth to lead q con-
sistent Christian life, the Salvation army
iiN'' NbOiaoN " NOP"i 'i"Sii' Va N'''N''N's -
300 West Thirteenth street, under Or. John
Craighton. The new dental department now
rivals in its peculiar field the army's ia
nous "anti-suioide bureau" in alleviating
human suffering, its promoters said.
Many a man has fallen from grace
when attacked with a bad toothache and
unable to pay the high prices of the aver
age dentist" an officer Of the army said.
In such a condition more than one man
has given vent TO his feelings in a now of
profanity or tried to drown the pain with
whlskey, and OF course such acts would
end his Christian experience, For those,
however, who can afford to pay the exact
cost Of the work done will be charged,
without profit Of any kind"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-01-12

ladN--lS your Child lost
BegEar-NO. mum, hut his clothes are
worn out.-Boston Transcript.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-26
STARTING CARS
A BIC PROBLEM
George Robertson Selected By A. A
A., to Help Getting Autos Of In
Long Sprint.

INDIANAPOLIS. Ind. April 20
Smiling George Robertson, the IA
nous racing auto pilot who recently
announced his retirement from the
game, cannot resist the temptation 10
be in action in some way or another
where the roar OF the motor is heard,
SO he has been named assistant start.
er for the 500mile international
Sweepstakes race at the Indianapolis
motor speedway next Memorial day.
The method OF starting the long
race has been discussed much by
racing experts, and II is altogether
probable that all OF the cars viii be
started at one signal from the start
er's gun. They probably will be
placed in rows about 10 10 100 feet
apart. the different drivers drawing
for their positions in the start Start
er Wagner will arrive in Indianapolis
within the next few days, 10 take up
the details OF starting the race ana
plans will be made for scoring, etc.
The handling OF this race Is one OF the
most serious problems which officials
OF the A. A. A. have faced thus Tar.
The large number OF high-powered
cars makes IL impossible for them
TO make any classification for start
ing, and as there will be more than 40
in the field. the question OF method
OF scoring Is somewhat complicated.
Practice for the big event is on and
several OF the drivers are at the
speedway tuning their cars for the
supreme test. Additional stands have
been built at the speedway TO ac-
commodate the throng OF visitors
which Is coming from all parts or
the country.
There are thirty-nine entries now
in and the speedway management ex-
poets three or four more before the
closing date The purse now totals
about $4,000 and IL is highly prob
able that before the race fully $780,
900 will be offered by the speedway
and various accessory and supply
makers.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-26
FRANKLIN-ST. BOYS AND
GIRLS WILL CELEBRATE
Conclusion Of Year in Gymnasium
Will Be Occasion Of Special
Exercises Tonight.

The boys and girls who have been
attending the gymnasium classes or
the Franklin-st. settlement through
the winter, will celebrate the conclu-
sion OF the formal season tonight by
an entertainment, which will be feat
ured by class work, drills OF various
kinds. basketball games and novelty
features. ending with dancing
The gymnasium has had an unus-
ually successful year under the direc-
ton OF Foster j. Walker, physical d.
rector, who has arranged the program.
One OF the features will be the cham
fpionship basketball game between the
Junior and Senior girl teams. They
will line up as folloys:
Seniors-Misses Linda Audry, Edna
Eva, Eileen McMarmon Capt., Clara
| Labbie and l.. Bedore
Juriors-Misses Gladys Duross,
Alice Piercey, Alice Lebring, Marion
Eva (Capt), and Ida Hart
Josephine Labbie will referee and
Prof Walker will umpire
The complete program follows:
Presentation OF Spalding cup for
Settlement championship, by Richard
| Jackson, Jr.
| presentation OF hayl cup Tor 1Oul
shooting to Mr.. A. Geissler, by Mr.
| Essex.
Final game and presentation of b.
c. Whitney cup to Settlement, by Eos.
ter Walker, physical director
Kindergarten classes; wand drills
and fancy marching.
Duffield Midgets and Juniors: DUN
bell drill and high diving.
| Seniors: Indian club drill; work on
horse and mat pyramid building.
| Weight-lifting by Ed Reuter-
Girls class, fancy dumbell drill
fancy dancing.
Basket ball Dufield Midgets VS.
Jefferson Jrs.
Girls basket ball for Settlement,
championship, Seniors VS.. Juniors.
| Dancing
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-26
NEW D. A. c. At
OLD LOCATION
That Is the Probable Result of
Termination of Present Lease
on Club Property.

The Detroit Athletic club has Sc
cured an option on the valuable Mot
OF real estate which the club holds ON
Woodward-aye., between Forest and
Canheld and running through 10 Cass
ave, Al a meeting held last evening
preliminary plans were discussed for
me purchase of the property, the con
struction or new club house with
care, dormitory and other features.
ana the formation OF a 100000 hold.
ing company which should make such
a termination OF affairs possible.
In the meantime the club will be
run In It's present form until Oct. l.
Membership and dues have been re-
duced TO $40 for that period and es.
pecial inducements will be offered
members who join now.
The annual meeting OF the club
brought out a full representation or
the clubs loyal members, many OF
whom have been prominent In the
athletics OF the club on field. track
and gymnasium floor. President John
Kelsey, who has for several years car.
ried the entire burden OF the club on
his shoulders, put the question square.
ly. II was the general concensus OF
the members that Detroit was big
enough for an athletic club OF the type
outlined above. The club plans to EN-
ploy hustling secretary who will de-
vote his entire time to the matter OF
securing members and funds. A plan
will be outlined for work and commit
tees will be appointed within a month.
with the idea OF adopting a detailed
scheme OF effort. The clubs grear
history and the unique advantages
offered by it's location with large ath-
letic field adjacent TO its club house.
added to the central location OF the
establishment, give the club a fine
talking point. 1t is planned to make
the new plant OF the d. A. c. one
which will bear comparison with any
in the country
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-26
What the Box Scores
demonstrate to the Fan

When the Athletics did wake
up, they jumped clear out Of bed.
The reason that Danny Murphy
DOT only five hits In yesterdays
game is that he came TO bat only
five times. OF the 16 hits garner
ed by the Athletics, strange to
say, Demon Eddie Collins got
"naryfa one"
pitcher camnltz had his cleft
field ball" working nicely, and
Manager Clarke caught 10 flies in
his pasture. This will probably
stand as a seasons record.
Il remained for the loWfy
BrookIynites 70 humble the
vaunted Moore, the Giants Mem
esis.
Catcher Bliss was knocked un-
conscious by a swing OF Hans
Waaner's bat. Players had to car
~ him to the clubhouse.
pitcher Jack Coombs, who was
reported to be suffering from ma
IarIa at his home In kennubunk,
Me. and to have lost 35 pounds.
COnNdlG6CCo " kUS CNhC'h W
lowing Washington three hits.
Mack wishes the rest OF his twirl-
ers would become dangerously
III.
ST. Louis tried the Lake
George" pitching combination
against Detroit, and II went to
the bad In one inning, allowing
the Tigers eiehtr uns.
Evans Is the first man TO whang
out a duo Of homers In single
game.
Manager Clarke Griffith OF the
Reds was ordered from the
grounds. Makeup editors had bet
ter keep this line standing until
the season Is ended.
The Cubs continue their extra
base hitting, one double and four
triples being their portion against
the Reds yesterday.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-26

OF the day following. There is an ex-
cellent reason.
The sporting extra totals are scored
by The Times representative anu rep
resent his ideas OF what Is due the
players and public in runs. hits and
errors. The official score is compiled
by a morning paper writer aud Is
printed in this paper for purposes OF
record.
No two scorers agree independently
on every play in game like that OF
yesterday. The Times gave Cobb one
hit. scoring Austin an error for a
throw which was out OF his first
baseman's reach, though beating the
flying Tyrus TO the neighborhood OF
the sack by margin OF about two
steps.
The official scorer gives Cobb nit
on this play, apologizing as follows:
Had Austin stopped and stead
led himself after getting Cobb's
bounder over near the box in the
fourth, he would have been too
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-26
|M||CH|GAN RELAY
RUNNERS SICK
Both Half and Craig Laid Up and
the Team May Not Start At the
Penn Games.

ANN ARBOR, Mich. April 26.-On
the eve OF their departure for the
Pennsylvania meet Michigan's relay
squad faces disaster In the shape OF
sickness. Han, the Saginaw lad, who
made such wonderful showing in
the tfyouts last week is the victim.
He Ii laid up with high fever and
the attending physician is very doubt.
full a. TO whether he can be pulled into
shape by Thursday.
Craig, the member from Detroit, is
on the near-sick list. He has a bad
cold and while he will be able to at.
tend the meet, he will not be in con,
dition for his best work, This leaves
the Wolverines out of the running en-
ttrely and II is probable that the team
viii not compete. However, the boys
Will be- sent to Philadelphia IL Han Is
"a condition to make the trip, whether
they run or not.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-26
CROWD LIKES THE BIG HITTING
GAMES ABOVE ALL PITCHING DUELS

late with his throw Therefore he
took a chance and cut the bail
loose while on the run. Inc
throw didn't happen 10 be good
and the Peach went 10 second.
Had Austin made the play
would have been a phenomenal
one, and therefore Tyrus Is right
~ entitled 20 hit.
The Times asks no further vindica
ton of It's Judgment on this play than
the statement OF the official scorer
n Tyrus is TO be handed a hit on
every ball thrown by an intielder VINO
is In motion, he is in a fair way "a
eclipse the 400 mark this year by q
liberal margin.
The writer believes that such scor'
ing Is not necessary TO give Cobb his
Just dues. The king OF all the bats
men can get hits enough OF the leglti,
mate character TO keep him ahead oil
the batters OF the universe. IL he
can't. the writer believes that Tyrus
himself is too just to crave the honor
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-26
SUNsTAR WINS A
BRITISH STAKE
Americans Among Also-Ran and
Winner Is Installed Now As the
Favorite In Derby.

NEW MARKET, Eng, April 26.-
The two thousand guineas stakes,
first OF the 3-year.old turf classics, was
won today by j. b. Joel's SINISTER, who
was at 10 l In the betting. Lord
Derby's Steadfast, at 100 TO 3, was
second and Sol. Joers Lycaon at so
To /, was third. Richard Croker's
Clonburn. and James X. Keene's Iron
Mask and Runnymead III. were among
the also rams.
The winner, SINISTER will be install
ed favorite for the derby TO be run the
latter part of May.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1911-04-26
Barrow Hands Out Fines.

NEWARK, n. j., April 26-Manag
er Joe McGinnlty of the Eastern
league club has been fined $50 and
set down for five Gays by President
Edward Barrow FOR he part the Iron
man" played in the trouble at the
opening game here. Jack HS~dy and
Natty Mattress of tie Montreal team
who were mixed up in the fight with
the Newark owner, were lenalized
s25 eacn and drew suspension Ot
Eve Gays. The head OF The Eastern
league investigated he matter tnor
onghly before placing tho blame fer
the trouble. The dispute was on the
question of ground rules.