davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
LAUGHTER.
How II Has Been Defined and Some
Folks Who Never Tried It.

How II Has Been Defined and Some
Folks Who Never Tried It.
What is laughter? An American hu-
morist has called it IAN undignifed
widening of the human mouth, accom-
panied by a noise resembling a cough
u the effort to avoid swallowing a
chestnut"
Laughter" says Professor Sir
Charles Bell, sis a convulsiye action Of
the diaphragm. in this state the per
son draws a full breath and throws it
put in interrupted short and audible
saehinnations. This CONFUSION Of the
diaphragm is the principal part Of the
physical manifestation Of laughter.
But there are several accessories,
especially the sharp vocal u%tterance
arising from the violent tension Of the
larynx and the expression Of the fea-
lures, this being a more intense form
Of the smile. in extreme cases the
eyes are moistened by the efusion
from the laehrymal glands"
There are some people who cannot
laugh, who r wholly unable to enjoy
either the physical or the mental lux
ury OF a laugh. Thus 1t was said OF
William III. that he was utterly at a
loss to understand what could be got
out of laughter except loss of dignity.
There are many persons in history
who have been, according to common
report. incapable of laughter. Queen
Mary l., John Knox, Robesplerre and
Asltke are examples. The Iron Duke
himself rarely, II ever, went beyond q
yrunt-Srand Magazine.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
CITY CLERK Ia ROE Is
AT MEETING IN TRENTON

City Clerk Wilbur LaRoe is repre-
senting Perth Amboy at a second
meeting Of the New Jersey County *
Municipal Clerks Association at city
hall in Trenton today. He is taking
an active part in the proceedings of
this newly formed organization that
he may gain a thorough knowledge
of a good Interpretation of the Geran
election law. One Of the principal
aims Of the organization is to have
the contents of the act Interpreted
uniformly among municipal clerks
throughout the state that elections
may all be held in the same manner.
This subject was preached when the
association was formed at Asbury
Park on August 2.
Organization work Is being COM
pleted today. The executive commit
tee will present a set Of bylaws and
constitution it has drafted.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
TAXING BANK
STOCK FARCE
Is the Opinion of Clerk of
County Tax Board.

Taxing bank stock under the X
listing tax laws is a farce and but a
mere waste Of time, according to
william A. Spencer, clerk of the
Middlesex County Board of Taxa
ton, who has spent the last two
weeks securing data and compiling
valuations of the stock Of the va
rious county banks, to be in readl-
ness for the boards meeting today
at New Brunswick. The session was
held at 10 o'clock this morning IN
the court house.
New laws and a recent supreme
court ruling were expected to In
crease the amount Of taxes
from this source, but upon lnVes-
~tigation Clerk Spencer has found
that the banks are still impregnable.
The law holds that bank stock must
be assessed It's market value, less
non-taxable securities. Inasmuch
as the money on deposit in banks Is
not taxable, the institutions make a
practice, It is claimed, Of transfer
ing their taxable securities to the
credit of the depositors when as
sessment day comes around. The
non-taxable securities thus received
decrease the holdings Of the institu-
ton until, as in one New Brunswick
instance, the city receives no reYe-
nue. from the source.
Work was started today by the
tax board on the abstract of rata
bles, which takes nearly two weeks
to compile. The assessors books
were also checked up today and cor
rections and revisions made. The
board will not place a valuation on
the coal depot of the Susquehanna
Coal Company, situate in South Am
boy and Madison township, until all
/ other work is completed.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
FIX Up SLATE
FOR THE CITY
Republican Committee Will
Meet Every Week.

Another session Of the Republican
City Committee was held last night
in the rooms of the Fourth Ward
Republican Club, in Elm street. Just
what business was transacted behind
the closed doors, and which candi-
dates were approved, was not reveal
ed today by the twelve members of
the committee. The committee will
hold weekly meetings, it is expected,
from now until election day and take
active part in the campaign in this
city.
Chairman L. Burt Moore presided
last night and stated today that the
names of several probable candidates
were discussed, but no action taken.
The city committee does not in any
way wish to interfere with the en-
dorsement of the Republican County
Committee, to which the city commit
tee members also belong. The Young
Mems Republican Club meets tomor-
row night and expects to endorse or
approve Of several candidates. Chief
among these will be John Hanson for
sheriff, and John F. T~enBroeck for
assembly, both members of the re-
Gently formed organization.
Local Republican leaders contend
the timber for a strong freeholder
candidate from this city is exception
ally weak, despite rumors to the con-
trary. 1t is known that the oTgani-
cation men here have not decided
upon a man and the field is still
open. One Of the most prominently
mentioned is former Freebooter Will
liam I. Stacey, an employe of Liddle
& Pfeiffer. William II. Pfeiffer, the
newly-appointed postmaster, has en-
gagged the services of Mr.. Stacey as
clerk, it is said. Mr., Stacey will
assume charge of the clerical work
at the Liddle & Pfeiffer Offices in
New Brunswick avenue.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
FREDDIE SEES
THE FIVE ACTS
Much Pleased With New Bill
at ProCtor's.

Say II you want to see a real show
lust trot over to Proctor's. They've
got Ave acts on and a bunch of pic
lures, and one act. Edmund Hayes
& Co. in The Piano Movers" will
split your sides, and leave a grin on
your face for the rest of the week.
I've seen funny acts but this has got
all the rest of them skinned a mile
on the level it has. There are
five people in the act-twO skirts,
one a supposed m~illionaire's daugh-
ter, the other a maid. and three men
two piano movers and a real lord.
The man skirt gets the piano mover
to pretend he's her father, and in
order to get the clothes he nabs the
lord as be comes in and takes his
away from him. Gee it was a scream.
Before they had been moving the
piano and It fell on one of the guys.
l thought I'd crack a rib before they
got him out. Il would take me all
night to tell you all about it, but take
my advice if you want to keep good
uatured for the rest of the week Just
see The Piano Mover
Jessie Noble is a fine looking girl
and she can hand out a good line of
talk. and get away with 1t. She sings
some of the popular songs and has
got a cracking good voice. She sure
has some dash when she sings The
Alexander Rag"
Clinton & Nolan are after my own
heart. They are two men-one a
black face, the other fellow thinks
he'll be the wise guy and make poor
black face be the African dodger.
Then he goes out in the audience,
passes around a lot of balls and the
audience gets busy. Say. he had to
do some lodging let me tell you.
Finally he got mad after a few bricks
came to him, and he got out his
shooter and made the wise guy give
up his clothes and he had to go home
Ia a barrel.
Fiska and Saunders do a mighty
classy magic act. I'd give my ears
TO get on to some of those tricks
you bet if I could get away with them
like that fellow Fiska, l bet the
EVENING NEWS would lose Fred
die. Miss Saunders sings-but gee,
me for the tricks.
c. W. Littlefteld came next with
o lot of limitations. He's immense.
You'd think he had a whole menag-
erie with him, and the audience toe,
he initiates the whole bunch, animals
and all.
Got to stop now; there's a fellow
waiting for my copy, and say if l
don't let up he'll get a new Freddie.
So long. FREDDIE.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
UP STATE MEN WILL
OPEN MILK DEPOT HERE

Three experienced dairymen from
up state have purchased the property
at 1875 New Brunswick avenue from
J. P. Westergaard for the purpose Of
nsine 1t as ap u~p-to-date wholesale
ersap= at SerN Sc bruns-
. $50. gnue through to Fayette
e'and is claimed t6F@a ideal fer
the purpose for which it was pur-
chased. The new owners are C. w.
Nanatta. OF West Portal; James
Wyckof and George y. Robinson, all
well-known dairymen from the
northern part of the state. They
purchased the property through the
agency of Comegys brothers, which
is at present trying to locate another
Industry in this city.
The property consists of a lot
fronting forty feet along New Bruins.
wick avenue and about the same dis
lance along F'ayette street. It con
tains a brick building now occupied
by II. kuttler as a shirtwaist factory
II Mr.. Kuttler a yacate on or be.
fore November IS the new owners
will make extensive alterations ant
improvements and start a milk depo'
at hat time. If the premises canno
be had by that time nothing will b,
done until next spring.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
CLAY COMPANY PLANT
Is SOLD BY SHERIFF
spsetal to the EVENING e

Keasbey, Aug, 22:-Equipment Of
the plant of the Raritan River Clay
Company, of this city, was sold yes
terday by Sheriff William II. Quack-
enboss, of New Brunswick. to satisfy
a chattle mortgage Of $4,000 and a
judgment of $1,000. There was only
n bidder, William G. Demarest, Of
New York. the executor of the mort
gage. He bought the plant for
$500 in excess of the claims. The
plant will be kept running.
4 Relay Event.
Son, how would you like to enter a
relay eventT'
Fine, dad. I was a star at relay
events in college"
so I've heard you say. Well, your
ma is about ready to relay tho car
pets"-Washington Herald ~xaxs
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22

Groom streets, was received from
Leo Goldberger, as secretary for the
Perth Amboy Realty Company. 1t
was referred to the committee on
streets and sewers Provision had
previously been made by the council
for grading Laurie street.
The committee on fire was empow-
ered to have rubber tires placed on
the hose and chemical apparatus Of
Lincoln Engine Company. The COM
mittee was also empowered to have
a new two-inch asphalt block side
walk laid in front Of Mcclellan
Engine Company's house. A rec
ommendation from the committee to
grant exemption papers to Henry
loft, William C. Smith and Helm
rich Smith of Eagle Hose and Chem
ical Company and for accepting the
resignation of Michael Patten from
Liberty Hook and Ladder Company,
we're unanimously adopted.
A petition from William bureau
and six others, asking for an cleo
trio light on Brighton avenue, about
midway between Gordon and Market
streets was referred to the commit
tee on lights.
The public grounds and buildings
committee was authorized to pur-
chase llnOleum to cover the floor of
the Isolation hospital building.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
HABEAS CORPUS
FAILED YOUTH
Young Gainesville Boy Ac'
cused of Being Lyncher.
Special by United Press Wire.

Special By United Press Wire.
Westchester. Pa, Aug. 22:-SlX-
teen year old George Stahl, arrested
in connection with the l%ynching Of
the negro, at Gainesville, was today
denied freedom on habeas corpus
proceedings and remanded to the
Chester county Jail branded as a
murderer. Only two witnesses, Po-
lIcemen Howe and Witty, both OF
Coatesville. were heard. They testi-
fed that they saw Stahl in the hos
pital on the night of the lynchlng
and warned the youth not to go up
stairs. without further procedure
Judge Butler hurried the boy to jail
again. The court held that anyone
in the mob was responsible for the
lynching.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
RARITkH COPPER WORKS
PLANNING TO ENLARGE

Enlargements Of the power plant
and tank room OF the Raritan Cop
per Works are under contempla-
ton. The company is procuring
estimates of the cost of the changes
and additions in the tank room and
for making an extensive addition to
the power plant. The company Is
figuring upon a plan to rearrange the
present tanks so as to provide room
for more. Such an addition would
necessarily enlargement Of the
power plant.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
MYSTERIOUS WOMAN
BATTLES CHICAGOPOLICE


Specir| 5V United Press Wire.
Chicago, Aug. 22:-Police physi-
clans worked for an hour today to
revive an unidentified woman held
as one of the most daring ''stickups''
Chicago has ever known. Bullets
failed to brighten her, but she
swooned at the explosion Of a pho
tographer's flashlight. The woman
is striking Of face and figure and
refused to give her name. In her
handbag the police found an auto
matte pistol and a black silk mask.
Police say she had been a compan-
ion Of Gustave OLeary, who the po-
lice accuse of many holdups in Chi
cago.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22

" %jhoay @~7gyterdgS" IWfsatakfg ifn=
ane after he had annoyed drivers
and pedestrians in upper New Bruins
wick avenue, was sent to the state
hospital for the insane at Trenton
today. He had previously spent some
time there.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
RETURNS AFTER MAKING
MOTORBOAT INSPECTION

Stacey NJ. Coutts, the custom
house official in charge of the motor
boat inspection for the port Of Perth
Amboy, returned last night from
Barnegat bay and M~anasquan river,
where he spent the last ten days en-
forcing the motOrbOat rules and reg
ulations. He was stationed at Bay
Head. Inspector Coutts found q
number of violations of the depart
ment'S rules.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
J., c. FOWLER AWARDED
THE BRIDGE CONTRACT
spsotql to the EVENING NEWS.

New Brunswick. Aug. 22.-J. c.
Fowler, of Sewareu. was awarded
the contract for the repairs to the
Woodbridge creek bridge yesterday
afternoon at the meeting Of the
Board of FreehoIders. His bid was
$1,000.
The bids received for the CON
JtructiOn Of the new Bound Brook
road, from that place to Lincoln,
were laid over until Monday, August
s8. John McNab, Of Bound Brook,
was low man with a bid of $9,114.36.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
ONLY FOUR BANKS IN
COUNTY TO Be TAXED
rnecln1t o the EHENINO NEWs.

New Brunswick, Aug. 22:Eonly
four banks in the county WIZ De
taxed this year. They are as follows
with the assessed value Of each share.
perth Amboy National, 800; South
Amboy National. $50; South River
National, s35; National Bank OF New
Jersey. Of this city, $50. The other
banks are exempted as they hold
only n~on-taxable securities.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22

Any affair, or happening, or CIR
cumstance which Is too small to
make a want ad. worth while as an
adjusting force is too small to worry
about.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22

The best preparation for the future
is the present we'll seen to, the last
duty well done.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22

Try our exchange column. No
answer, no pay. Two cents for sYsry
teply received
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22

EVENING NEWS covers the field,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22
HAVE LOTS FOR
C0HVERY PLACE

CONTINUED from page IL
Perth Amboy evening news., 1911-08-22

- AWm- NOW lose h5m sn routing mWEMHhm top floor to basement to make room Tor new stocks
q Nemua@c sacrifice eyh mdn d@ every grade PhL Library Bedroom and Dining room Furniture att tremendous productions
q hsd sample pieces , 3G Even 500 Off, PmSa cut without regard to original figures d you can have ALL
81 YOU NED Choose what mw Mha nd tell how much you can pay ZACH week or month No Extra charge for ut
s NembamMhgq Hahns NophEMy
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1911-03-17
Rev. Sam N. Hurst

The Baptist congregation this
town has invited Rev. Samuel N.
Hurst, now of Pembroke, Ky, to
visit this church with view of To-
eating here. He will preach in the
Baptist church next Sunday week,
March Goth, at II o'clock, and also
at night. MIR. Hurt il native of
Pulaski. His wife was Miss Hop
son, of Kentucky, related to the
Newberry's of Virginia. He left the
bar for the pulpit several years ago.
He is author of Is volumes of law
books, and is we'll known as II lawyer
in Roanoke, where he practccd law,
and was pastor of the Primitive Bap-
tst church, leaving that church nearly
three years ago, and joined the First
Baptist chruch of Roanoke, from
which he was ordained to the Baptist
ministry He afterwards went to the
Theological Seminary and from there
To the pastorate of the Baptist church
at Pembroke, Ky. Mr.. Hurst is n
graduate of several schools and col
leges, and of the law school of the
University of Virginia,a Il fine speaker,
it is said, and studious, consecrated
minister, is about 40 years old, has
wife and six children, and is highly
commended by the leaders of the
Baptist denomination in Richmond
and his old home in Roanoke. Should
the Baptist people be so fortunate as
to secure his services it is certain
that he will receive warm welcome
to the town and community.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1911-03-17
Alfalfa Mistakes

The boys at the machine think it
strange if the editor fails to hand
over something about alfalfa and
some of our readers may think the
editor has quit work if he says moth
ing about alfalfa. So, to keep the
peace he will say few things about
his hobby, the greatest grass known.
The patch of 300 square feet, on
the east end of his acre plot near the
cemetery, is in conspicuous place
where every passerby can see it. The
west is half in crimson clover and will
be turned down sometime next month.
I he alfalfa is not just right. 1t is
not thick enough on the ground.
The trouble is to get a stand in the
beginning. Pure good seed are diff
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1911-03-17
Pounding Mill

Pounding Mill, March 15.-Mrs.
M. j. Sturgill spent the weeks end in
Blueiield attending the protracted
meeting of The Church of God, and
visited an old friend she hadn't seen
for thirty years.
Mrs. II. X. Gillespie, A. j. Myers
and G. w. Hurt We're among those
who attended the good roads meeting
ut Tazewell Tuesday.
Mir. Clint Young spent Saturday
and Sunday in Blueiield
Miss Pearl McGu re is driving from
her home to her school here this
week.
Mrs. II. X. Gillespie is visiting
MIR. Sam Wards today.
Mrs w. b. Steele returned this
afternoon from several days visit
to friends at Bluefeld.
Rev. Mr.. Blankenship, of the M.
e. church, preached here Monday
nihgt and left an appointment for
next Sunday ut IL o'clock
Miss Grace Williams visited her
sister, Miss Lucille ut Steelsburg
from Saturday to Monday.
j. M. Sturgil has gone back on
the road as news agent, on account of
his health.
Mrs. Floyd Mcclure still continues
very i'll at her home on the branch
Mrs. j. Marion Mcclure and
daughter. Miss Pearl, of Cedar Bluff,
were pleasant visitors here Sunday
afternoon.
The sick of the town are all conva-
lescent.
Toby Sparks and children have
been very sick this week, but are
better.
Mrs. Ollie Hurt spent from Friday
to Monday with relatives at Taze-
well.
Me'srs. John Gillespie and Frank
Hurt spent Sunday with George Hurt.
Miss Barbara Britain came down
rfrom Tazewel with Miss Barbara
Hurt and spent Saturday and Sunday.
G. G. Hurt, Of Indian, was visi-
tor here today.
w. Riangstaif, jr., three months
old bay of Mr.. and Mrs. l.. w.
Ringstaff, has been right sick.
r. M. Sparks visited his father,
J.J. Sparks near Gap Store Saturday.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1911-03-17

The road question. There was quite II
nice parade OF saddle horses, and the
usual March show of fine stations.
There were four fine Percherons-
three iron greys and one black. Jas.
ii. McMullin, Wells and Carter, The
Tazewell Percheron and Horse Com
pany, Brooks. Each showed
nice, young Percherons. Directly Boy,
a nice black stallion, belonging to
Albert Hagy. and the bay stallion be-
longing to j. w. Moss, were on the
street and attracted considerable at
tention. Tazewell is breeding fine
grade of both draught and saddle
horses. The scrub is no longer in the
light. Several sales were made on
tuesday. Capt. Cooper. Five Oaks,
sold nice yearling colt for good
price, Other sales were made, hut
not as many as were expected. The
buyers failed to arrive as expected,
and then. the people seemed moro in
terested in the road question than in
buying or selling stock.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1911-03-17
NORTON MAN Is
FOUND DEAD
7. w. Collie Fell From Freight
Train and Head Crushed
Against a Rock.

j. w. Collier, whits man, suppos-
ed to be about thirty years old, was
found dead on the railroad near
Ritchie Peery's yesterday morning.
An inquest and investigation depelop-
ed that he had evidently fallen from
freight train sometime during the
night, his head striking a rock on the
side of the track, which crushed his
skull producing instant death. Letters
on the person of the dead man indi-
Gated that he was from Norton. The
opinion is that the cold weather last
night SO benumbed him that he
could not hold the brake beam or rod
on the freight train on which he was
beating his way, and that as the train
rounded curve at point near where
his body was found he was hurled to
the ground.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1911-03-17
Keep Hands Off"

The question is respectfully sub
mitted: If one district is unanimous,
or almost so, in favor or opposed to
the bond issue, why should another
district step in and defeat the will of
the people in the other district? For
instance, if Clear Fork District wants
bond issue of $3.50, 600, and is
willing, able and solely responsible
for the amount, why should any other
district interfere, and say she shall
not have what she wants? True, the
other two districts are responsible,
or security for Clear Fork, but only
as security, and will never have dol
lar of her issue to pay. OF the eigh-
teen men who signed the protest
against the bond issue, three are
Maiden Spring taxpayers, only one in
Clear Fork, and fourteen in jefferson
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1911-03-17
Death of Former Citizen

News reaches Tazewell that Mr..
James Thompson, former Tazewell
citizen, died at his home at Gault,
California, on the 7th of this month,
65 years cid. Mr.. Thompson was
brother-in-law to Mrs. w. L. Moore
and Mrs. John Barns, of this town.
He left Tazewell about 1868, and af-
teIwards returned to .Tazewell and
married Miss Lavicie Smith, daugh-
ter of Jas. T. Smith, of Thompson
Valley. She survives with nine child
ren--fve boys and four girls, all liv-
ing in California. He is the last male
member of his family-three sisters,
Mrs Cosby George, Mrs. Louisa HUI
ron and Mrs. Amanda Smith, all liv-
ing in California. Deceased has a
large connection in this county who
will be grieyed to hear of his death.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1911-03-17
Need no License to Ship Liquor

That the shipping of ardent spirits
from Virginia to West Virginia is in
terstate commerce and cannot be
affected by the act of the general
assembly of Virginia requiring n ship
per's license is the argument on
which II. j. Ferrimer, liquor dealer
of Pocahontas, based his petition to
the Supreme Court of Appeals asking
for writ of error and representing
he is agrieved by decision of the
Circuit Court of Tazewell county.
The Supreme Court of Appeals al
lowed the writ of error on Tuesday
and the case will be reviewed. Fer
rimer is represented by the firm of
Sexton and Roberts, of Bluefeld. The
decision of the Supreme Court is
awaited with much interest, In view
of the fact that its opinion will affect
nearly every liquor dealer in Virgin
ia.
The history of the case dates back
to March 25th, 1910, when Ferrimer
was granted a retail license for the
year beginning May 1, 1910. In June.
1910 Ferrimer shipped ii quantity of
liquor, not exceeding four and half
gallons to Vincent Volscent, at Mora,
w. Va, and at the time of the ship
ment did not have retail lincese for
shippers. These facts are agreed on
by attorneys for Ferrimer and the
prosecution.
Ferrimer was tried on an indict-
ment charging violation of the reve-
nues laws and fined $50. The appeal
was taken. Pending final judgement
the petitioner has furnished bond for
$1O0.