davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-10
One Exclamation

Say, pa. what does it mean when ie says the supreme court dissolved a trust?'
 Well my son. you see. hum-ha-thats a sort of solution of the trust question"
 Does it fix it so there isn't any trust any more, pa?'
 Well my son, when you dissolve a lump of sugar in water the sugar is still there, but you can't see it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-10
A Joke on the Jokers' Jokes

The jokes" that congressman invent are put into bills. The Jokes that hey borrow (without credit) are put into their speeches.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-09-10
COME AND SEE HOW THEY SPARKLE
LET THEM SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES

If you live at distance ORDER BY MAIL. Any article advertised will be sent postage prepaid receipt of price We guarantee safe and prompt delivery Send the price in letter and you will be than delighted with the article you receive by return mail We hold ourselves rigldy re- sponsible for safe delivery
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

means that she is fully one-fourth larger or
heavier than any other vessel now in commits.
sion In our navy except her sister ship the
North Dakota. She is also the speedest OF all
our battleships built building, being capable
of gait of "a or Is miles per hour, which is
dictinctly going some' for so ponderous 4 craft,
and which will enable her to make good timo
on her round trip beyond Cape Horn If neces-
sity should arise.
The Delaware is the heaviest armed Of all
our "peacemakers," excepting of course her
twin sister, the North Dakota. She carries ten
of the big 12-inch guns, four of which were a
few years ago considered ample for any battle
ship, and in addition she has ranged on her
sides IA of the tremendously effective 5-inch
guns, to say nothing of whole array of smaller
naval shooting irons" Some of these latter
the three-pounders for instance, will be the Only
ones used on the present cruise and then merely
for firing salutes. The Delaware has a ship 9
company Of record breaking size-55 officers and
nearly 900 men,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

Delaware's trip will naturally be compared
that Notwithstanding first leg" of the mem
orable roundtheworld cruise when Rear Ad-
m1ral Bob" Evans led fleet of 16 battleships
around the lower half of our continent In that
event conspicuously there exemplif1ed the
adage that In union there is strength, and
aside from the selfcon1dence inspired by the
coordinate action of whole fleet Of battle
ships there was the further insurance against
the unexpected offered by the presence with
the fleet OF repair ship, supply ships and ma
val GOLFERS. The Delaware, on the other hand
must traverse the same sea track fguratively
as we'll as literally ION her own bottom" as
the seafaring men say.
However, without Understanding the pres
tige that will come to the Delaware through
all these unusual attributes of her present trip.
1t must be admitted that the greatest signif-
canoe of all attaches to this 1911 cruise be-
cause of the mission of the Delaware. The,
fleet of battleships that visited South Ameri-
can ports couple of years ago went solely
on the initiative Of President Roosevelt as a
practise cruise and sort Of object lesson to
other nations. but the Delaware goes on a
specific mission of coincidence, out of respect
to the memory of an international statesman
and In compliment to friendly nation. She is
to convey from our shores to his native land
the body Of Senior Don Anibal Cruz, the late
minister Of the republic of Chile to the United
States.
When a foreign diplomat dies at his post of
duty in an alien capital it is customary for
the officials of the government to which he
had been accredited as envoy and for his fel-
low diplomats to accord him every possible
honor in death. Elaborate ceremonials are
prescribed, not merely tribute to the
statesman whose work in behalf of interna-
tional good feeling has thus been INTERRUPTED
by death, but also as a compliment to the
country and the government whose accredited
agent he was. All the unwritten laws were
carefully observed in the case of the late Chi
lean minister. His funeral at Washington
was made the occasion of an elaborate mill
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

There are three distinct classes in Neapoli-
tan society-it would be better to call them
castes-the nobility and aristocracy, the gal
antuomini" or middle classes, and the "laz-
zaroni" or the "submerged multitude"
The first class 1t is unnecessary to de-
scribe, the other classes live side by side,
and are yet distinct and hostile. They differ
in religious and political convictions, in NOR
ais in social customs, in food and clothing.
The galantuomini include the shopkeepers.
the small manufacturers, tradesmen, book
keepers, persons engaged in clerical occupa-
lions, and practically all who are compelled
to earn their living, but who are not engaged
in manual labor.
They are generally liberal and often radical
in politics. The men express an open in
difference and often contempt for the church,
but require their wives and daughters to OBJ
serve all the conventional religious duties,
and they themselves never fail to reach for
cruciflx or call for priest whenever they
imagine their own lives to be in danger.
They are fond of dress and display and in.
dulge their taste as far as their means will
permit, but their wives and daughters are
kept in seclusiOn and are never allowed to
leave the house without duennas to protect
them.
The lazzaroni regard with contempt as
we'll as aversion the families of the galan-
tuomini, who are not wealthy and have to
struggle to keep up appearances. The 1az-
zaron1 are strongly attached to the nobility,
have often given practical evidences of loyal
ty and on several occasions have been of SUI
preme service to the crown.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17
THREE ORDERS OF SOCIETY IN NAPLES

They live cheaply in the open air. with q
room in the basement the attic of some
old tenement, to which they can retreat for
shelter in case Of storm, and when the hour
comes for Sleep
They delight in garlic, she'll fish, raw vege-
tables and fruit The women pay little at.
tention to their dress and always go bare.
headed. There are probably not dozen hats
or bonnets to the thousand Of the women
population of the lazzaroni
The lazzaront are SO accustomed to fetid
odors, the misery, the loathsome filth Of the
"Fondaci" as the slums are called, that it is
difficult for them to be happy under any other
circumstances. They are born in It, they live
in it and they die in It, and ret there are
grades of misery, just as there are grades Of
prosperity
There are lazzaroni who are rich and COM
Portable, compared with others who may oc.
cupy the adjoining attic, but it is said by
those who have studied this class that they
are never reduced to a condition which is be-
yond their philosophy to endure; that they
will always Jest about their hunger and laugh
about their pains.
Sentimentalists who have made a study of
them insist that the poorer and more loath-
some the family the stronger the love and at
tachment. AS misfortune comes upon them
they seem to cling more closely together, pa
rents to children, children to parents and
brothers to sisters, and not one ia so low or so
destitute as to be unable now and then to do
an act of charity express compassion to
neighbors who are even more badly of than
themselves.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17
The Oldest klick1tat.

The Oldest klickitat. >
Jake Hunt, the oldest living Klicki-
tat Indian known, lies at deaths door
at his home adjoining this town east
of here. The old Indian is reputed to
be more than 100 years of age.
Years ago an Indian village stood
where the Hunt family now carries on
general farming business. All that
Is left of the old settlement is little
church, a totem pole and numerous
mounds where the Klickitats lie who
could not reach the century mark. Old
Jake says that this was the Indians
paradise before the advent of early
white settlers.
Jake Hunt is destined not to die q
poor Indian. His lands are as rich and
productive as any In the valley and
command a high price. He is said to
have married seven times during his
long career, but there will be only q
widow and few children to fall heir
to his valuable property.-Husum Cor.
respondence Portland Oregonian.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17
WHERE CALAMITY CEASES
Ono Thing That Woman Has No
Right to Expect F rom
Man.

II always believe" he gallanty
said, s"in yielding to the ladies'"
II suppose you always give way to
your wife when you and she happen
to have an argument"
invariably"
"A4d you never fail to relinquish
your seat in the car when 1t happens
that some woman would have to stand
unless you did so?'
"Certainly."
do you take of your hat when you
get into an elevator where there are
ladies?"
II never fail to do that"
IF you had secured the last lower
berth in a sleeper would you give 1t
up to a lady who would otherwise
have to occupy an upper?"
"Of course. I have done it fire.
quently."
I'm case you stood in line in front
of a ticket window, would you be
willing to go away back to the end
so that some woman might have your
placer"
"Say, what do you think I ana
fool?"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17
! @ >sA1llllll lIIlIINIIIN|
$Y0%SSS;;:::!|l|

battleship cannot ascend the cor,
parat1vely shallow Potomac river
TO washington to receive the body,
and SO the presidents yacht May
hover will be used to convey the
casket from the capital to Hamp.
ton roads, Va, where the transfer
Will be made to the big vessel.
Wnen the casket is conveyed from
the receiving vault to the May
Hover there will be another mill
tary and naval pageant and guns
Will boom In salute and high off,
Gals OF the government will stand
with uncovered heads while. the
casket Is swung by means of the
long arm Of crane from the cais-
son used as hearse to the deck of
the vessel. A high Official of the
state department will accompany
the body to Hampton Roads as a
representative of our government
and. in all probability, one or more
Chilean diplomats will go with the
body on the battleship all the way
to Chile.
Captain Cove, who will command
the Delaware on this important
cruise, is one of the most capable
officers in the United States navy.
He was for years the commandant
OF midshipmen at the United States
naval academy and is thus known
personally to almost every one of
the younger officers of our sea ser
vice. The Delaware, of which he
is in command, is $40 feet in
length, IS feet breadth and dis
places 10000 tons of water. which
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

honorary pallbearers. But there was one other
courtesy which International etiquette pre-
scribes shall be offered under such sad c1rcum-
stances In accordance with the usage OF
friendly nations the president OF the United
States cabled to the president Of Chile Offer
ing the of United States warship to con-
vey his last journey home the body of the
deceased diplomatist The offer was accepted
and the Delaware has been assigned to act as
funeral barge on this voyage of thousands OF
miles to Valparaiso and return. In accordance.
however with the wishes of the Cruz family
the battleship did not start on her Journey i'm
mediately after the funeral, but the trip was
deferred until this month, the 1agdraped cas-
ket reposing In the meantime In receiving
vault in cemetery at Washington.
The United States government has been
called upon twice before, within comparative
ly few years, to convey home the bodies OF emf
nent Pan-American statesmen who have died
in this country. Some years ago tho body Of
an ambassador Of Mexico was thus conveyed
home In state and only year ago similar hon.
ors were paid to the remains of the late Senior
Nabuco, who was for years the ambassador of
Brazil at our seat of government. On neither
occasion, however, was there employed for the
service so imposing vessel as the Delaware
That the officials and the public Of Chile
will appreciate the significance of Uncle Sans
sending his largest and finest warship is the
expectation of the American authorities and
there is plain intent to thus create an espe-
cially favorable 1mpression-possibly the more
so because Chile is one of those South Ameri-
can countries with which the United States
has at times in the past been on the verge of
i'll feeling and it is the desire of our statesmen
to allay any lingering suspicious and cement
friendship IN this quarter. The Delaware was
not, of course, a member of the round the-world
squadron that visited Chilean ports several
years ago SO that not only will she be a nov
city to eyes beyond the Andes but she will af-
ford the people of Chile their first opportunity
to inspect all example of the worlds latest
ideas in heavy battleship building.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

Uses, simply saying that he had no
doubt he should get along all right.
On mounting to the pulpit in his
friends church the next day, however,
he proceeded to electrify the congre-
cation by taking several handfuls OF
rags out of a piece-bag which he car
ried with him, and deliberately stuff
fling them into the broken panes OF the
unsightly window.
Then he proceeded calmly with the
service. but when he began his ser
mon 1t soon became evident that the
pulpit cushion was by NO means to be
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

slip their minds from week to week.
"The window behind the pulpit Is
minister explained, land so is the pull
pit cushion, in which there is large
hole. l mention these matters to you
so that you may be saved annoyance.
have learned to stand at one side to
avoid the draught from the broken
window, and 1 refrain from bringing
any force to bear upon the pulpit
cushion"
The parson looked at his friends in
diligently. but made no rash prom
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17
A Long-Suffering Minister

with a friend who presided over a
wellto-do but somewhat careless con-
gregation in neighboring town.
This friend, who was one of the
meekest and most long-suffering men
imaginable, told the parson with much
modification that there were one or
two things about the church which
sadly needed attention, but that al
though he knew his Pensioners
meant well. these matters seemed to
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

spared at his hands. In some way or
other the largest hole in the cushion
was worked round until it was we'll
to the front, and after that each oe
three emphatic thumps from the par
sons vigorous hands, as he expounded
his ideas, sent a shower Of feathers
floating down over the heads of the
people in the front pews.
The next Sunday, when the gentle
parson resumed his charge, there
were no broken panes in the window
behind him, and the pulpit cushion
had new cover.-London Telegraph,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17
Ten t. MILLION PEOPL
1N~THE CANADIAN
WEST BY 1920
'sToronto STAR" Dec. 10th, 1910

"Toronto STAR" Dec. 10th, 1910.
The prediction is made that before
1920 Manitoba, Saskatchewan, AL
berta and British Columbia will have
ten million people. 1t is made not by
a sanguine Western journal but by
that very sober business newspaper
the New York Commercial. It Is
based upon actual observation, upon
the wheat-growing capacity of the Ca
madam West, and upon the prospects
of development following the build
ing of railways. The writer shows
how the position Of leading wheat
market of the world passed. from
Milwaukee to Minneapolis and themes
to Winnipeg. Canadas wheat-grow.
Ing belt is four times greater than
that Of the United States, and only
five per cent Of Canada's western agri.
cultural area is under cultivation.
There are 17O,O00,oQ0 acres of wheat
lands which will make these Western
Provinces richer, more populous, more
dependable for food supplies than the
Western States can ever become. The
center Of food supremacy will change
to Canada, and Is years more will
give this country 100000 -popula-
ton west Of Ontario. ~ e.:
All these estimates of population
are In the nature of guesses, and must
not be read too literally. But the
enormous area Of wheat-growing land,
the rapid construction of railways,
and the, large volume of immigration
are facts which must be recognized.
They point to the production of an
ever-increasing surplus of wheat and
other cereals. However rapidly the
urban, the industrial and commercial
population of Canada may increase,
the Increase Of home consumption is
hardly likely to keep pace with that
of the production of wheat; for a sim
gle acre of wheat will provide for the
average annual consumption of four
people.
While production in Canada is thus
running ahead of consumption at a
prodlglous rate, consumption in the
United States is overtaking produc-
ton, and the surplus for export is
growing smaller year by year. It is
true that the limit of actual power to
produce wheat is as yet far away.
BY methods Of Intensive cultivation,
such as prevail In France, the produc-
ton could be greatly increased. But
with the overflowing granary of Can
ada so close at hand, 1t seems likely
that our neighbors will begin to i'm
port from us, turning their own en-
ergies moro largely to other forms Of
agriculture:
1t must be remembered that while
the Northern States resemble Canada
In climate and products, the resem-
blance diminishes as you go south
ward. The wheat belt gives place to-
a corn belt, and this again to semi
tropical regions producing. cotton, to-
bacco, cane-sugar, oranges and other
tropical fruits. '$' "a
Tho man who secures q farm in
Western Canada at the present time
secures an investment better than the
best of bond Of any government or
bank. It Is no unusual thing for q
farmer in Western Canada to realize
a profit Of from IS to SO per acre.
There are thousands of free home
steads of 160 acres each still to DO
had, and particulars can be obtained
by writing your nearest Canadian gov.
eminent agent.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

be bad Idea either for the Latin-Americans
are very jealous of receiving their due need Of
respect and recognition from their big brother
of the north This focusing of the attention
of people on the east coast of South America
will come about through the circumstance that
the Delaware, being unattended by coal or sup
ply ships, will find it necessary en- route to and
from Chile to put in at ports in Brazil, Argen-
tina and other places for fuel, supplies, etc.
OF course the natives at each port cannot fail
to be impressed by the vessel and the impor
sion.
The placing Of the metal casket containing
the body Of the deceased diplomat aboard the
battleship will be made the occasion of another
impressive ceremonial. The heavy-draught
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17
God
Sars pariIla

Eradicates scrofula and all
other humors, cures all their
effects, makes the blood rich
and abundant, strengthens all
the vital organs. Take it.
Get It today in usual liquid form q,
0Aocolatsd tablets called 8a4oatab0>
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17
IT Is A MISTAKE

Many have the idea that anything
will sell If advertised strong enough.
This Is great mistake. True, q
few sales might be made by adyertis-
ing an absolutely worthless article
but it is only the article that is
bought again and again that pays.
An example Of the big success of
worthy article is the enormous sale
that has grown up for Cascarets
Candy Cathartic. This wonderful rec
ord Is the result of great merit sue
cessfully made known through per-
sistent advertising and the mouth-to-
mouth recommendation given Cas-
carets by its friends and users.
Like all great successes, trade pi-
rates prey on the unsuspecting pub
lie, by marketing fake tablets similar
in appearance to Cascarets. Care
should always be exercised in pur-
chasing we'll advertised goods, espe-
cially an article that has national
sale like Cascarets. Do not allow q
substitute to be palmed off on you.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17
Younu at the Business.

General Howard was an invited
guest at a dinner given by a boys
patriotic club. "You eat very we'll,
my boy" said the general to a doughty
young trencherman. IF you love your
flag as we'll as your dinner you'll
make good patriot"
Eyes, sir" said the boy; "but I've
been practising eating IL years, and I
amt owned a gun but six months."-
Success MaRazino.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17
A ScarecroW.

A ScarecroW.
Miss Brush suppose you don't
mind my being In your field, Mr..
Gobel?"
Farmer Gobel (heartily)-The long
er you stay, the better, miss. Fact is.
the birds ave been very troublesome
this season.-London Tattler.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

tary a n d n a v a l
display: the pres
ident of the Unit
ed States and the
members Of his
cabinet were in
attendance; and
the chief justice
of the u nj t e d
States, foreign
a m b a S s a doris,
United S t a t Q S
senators and 9TH
er distinguished
o~ o@f1Il oc &hA
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

Ferdinand-She is all the world to
me! What would you advise me to
do?
William-See q little more of the
world, old chap!
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

When He Resumed Charge After Ex-
change Of Pulpits He Found
Repairs Made.
A certain parson, we'll known in
Liverpool, always attended to matters
which he decided were in need of sum-
mary treatment. On one or two &C.
casions, at least, his action was not
limited to his own parish One anus
ing instance of this sort occurred one
Sunday. when he exchanged pulpits
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

Many think they are fighting sin
when they are having a good time
stabbing sinners.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

Many who think they mean right
are right mean.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-02-17

Incidentally, ncle
Sans impressive method
of paying tribute to a
worker for Pan-American
unity will be brought to
the attention of the people
of other South American
republics and this will not