The Washington herald., 1911-09-10
TEN THOUSAND LETTERS OF
UNHAPPY MARRIED COUPLES
And in Them All Neither Husbands Nor Wives Make
Complaint of Conditions that Little Common
Sense Tact Would Not Alleviate.

thing, and left life stale, nat, and tasteS
less.
This is the more inexpncabIe to them
because nothing has really happened to
account for their marriage being such
disappointment. John Is a good man,
with no eye out for sirens, and he works
like dray horse to support his family.
Mary Is a good woman, whose horizon
is bounded by her home. Yet she and
John get nothing but the bitter out Of
matrimony.
In the course of a year I get at least
ten thousand letters from miserable men
and women telling me of their domes-
tic unhappiness, and asking IL I can sug-
gest a remedy for It The thing that
strikes me most forcibly in all of these
letters Is how very. very seldom either
husband or wife makes a serious charge
against his or her mate
Sifted down to the very bottom, the
grievance that these husbands and wives
nave against each other is nothing but
lack of appreciation. Their marriages
are failures for the loss Of so small and
phiful thing as a word Of praise.
II isn't that man begrudges what
he does for his family. but II Is a hard
and disheartening thing to offer YOUR
self up as daily sacrifice before those
who do not even perceive that you ara
making a sacrifice at all
The life of the average married man
is one eternal grind at the mill, almost
without relaxation or amusement It
takes every ounce OF strength and
vitality that he has got to make a IIv-
ing, every dollar almost that he can
Scrape together to supply the endless
needs of wife and children. 1t is they
who go away to cool places in the sum-
mer while he stays in the city and
works. 1t is they who have the best
clothes. who go on the trips, have rheI
family treats, while he wears his clothes
until they are shiny. and is supposed to-
care for no llvelier pleasure than readinsi
the evening paper.
A Hard Life.
It is hard, barren, bleak life, heavy,
with burdens, and the one thing shat
would redeem its joylessness, the one4
thing that would make all Of its iaborsi
and deprivations worth while, and turn!
its sodden skies into golden sunshine,
would be for the mans wife to be ac-i
lively and enthusiastically appreciativs.
II she would daily and hourly show
her husband that she thought that he
was the most wonderful man in the
world. and the bravest and most heroic.
and that she was down on her knees
thanking God for ha8iEg given her such
a treasure. why you may be sure that
that man would not look upon himself
as a martyr to matrimony. Marriage
wouldn't be failure to him. It would
be a great and shining success.
And precisely the same thing may be
said of the woman's side OF the ques-
ton. When a woman marries her hus-
band becomes her world. He Is her
arbiter of success, her need Of praise,
her trumpet of glory. II she IS a good
woman she can't go outside Of her home
looking for admiration, or praise, or
Never Notices Her.
Think. then, of what 1t means . q
woman to be married to a husband who
never apparently notices her after the
wedding day. who never pays her a COM
oliment. or sees when she has done rer
hair a new way, or remarks on what
wonderful meals she gets up!
The life of the average married woman
IS as dull as dish water. 1t is q mo-
1otonous round of cooking and cleaning,
tending She, even more than her hus-
band, offers herself up as a sacrifice ON
he family altar, and with her, as with
him, the bitterness is that the Eacrifice
s before a god who Is unseeing. II only
her husband would sometimes kiss her
oH-"Rn nanuS' she "OuIu SIdUJ "oLA
hem to the bone for him. II only he
would tell her that he would like 10
give her a new dress, she wouldn't care
whether she had II or not. It's the
thinking that he doesn't know or care
hat hurts.
All that the domestic machinery needs
10 make it run smoothly and without
,reaking is a liberal supply Of soft soap,
applied where II would 90 the most good.
This is an old woman's remedy, but It
will work. Try II.