The Washington bee., 1911-12-16
Public Men And Thiinps
(By the Sage of the Potomacg

/ young man. whose tl6S always match
{. his socks, and whose trousers are al
ways creased within reason, and roll
ed up at the bottom within two
| inches Of his knee cap. while walk
! ing out You street. and when near
Sixth, young washer lady, weighing
| I2S pounds. If she weighs a pound.
met him and began upbraiding him
/ for not paying her an old bill for "ah
Washln yer dirty old rags faw moan
! three months. The young swell,
who was on his way to visit his best
| girl waved the washer woman aside
and remarked: The idea of YOU in
| terrupting a gentleman on a fashion
! able thOrOughfare. To make a long
story short, Miss WasherwOman, with
her IS5 pounds figure, clothed in a
simple tub gown. laid hold on Mr..
| Society Man, forced him into a re
| ClIning posture, seated herself quietly
| but firmly upon his vocal organs and
facial expression and considerable ad-
Jacent territory, and just took f0rci-
bic possession Of his undivided sur
plus, which was just seventy-tive
cents shy of being enough to pay the
! three months wash bill. When the
young man, who, by the way, attends
| all the fashionable "sOirrees." had re-
gained his feet. equilibrium, and
| brushed the dirt from his coat and
| trousers. he remarked: Some of
these wash-women carry their pas
slous tor mere mOney-getting too far"
| And the buXom lady in black who
claimed IS5 pounds Of real flesh and
bones, saucIly replied. as she turned
around the corner of Sixth: Yes, and
you all sciety dudes care yer desiah
TO beat yer wash women too fan fer
dis chile, so ! sho did Jest have to
stop you The few spectators
laughe,. heartily, and cheered the 49,
pounder who had the nerve to 90 and
get hers.
l can't figure out why i is that a
woman has SO much concern for a
wee little mouse that she has to
mount chairs and tables. and hastily.
rather than daintily, hoist her skirts
rogoulshly high every time one Of
these last editions OF a rodent ap-
pears. 1t all happened at a meeting
of three or four ladies who aspire to
be new women" the kind that keep
their bubbles at the club because they
can't or won't cook his meals, prefer
ring to argue abstract and concrete
SuttraglSt questions They were bus
lily discussing WOmans right to vote,
IN home not more than rve hundred
miles from Eleventh street. The en-
bOnpontist lady of the four had lust
hnlShed a statement eXCOTiatIng men
III general, and. winding up with: Il
should like to see anything, man or
super-man, cause me to give express
sion to the least bit of fear of assert
ing my rights, and she contmptu-
OuSly Sneeder ii. Just then a wee bit
of a mouse shot across the floor: our
brave lady. hastily, unceremoniously. |
and audaciously Indifferent to a swell
pair OF hose she was displaying,
grabbed her skirts. gave one shrill
shrek, and jumped into a chair, or
rather on to d chair And the other
ladies, skirts gathered up in about the
same style, made hasty retreat from
the room. OF course woman, so
brave as this lady of quality. by
rights ought to have everything a |
man has, including nerve.
=
/ heard a good story told on Judge
N1lyem Houston, who draws $500
or 5000 per year from the Odd Eel
lows under misapprehension won't |
vouCh for 1t, but the source from
whence it came comes mighty near
beng 100 per cent proof against pre-
var1cating. This incident occurred.
IN connection with the life of this |
prominent Odd Fellow jurist and
pOlltICO-taunlSt, while rehearsing a /
speech. After spending approx
mately week in the careful prepara-
tlon OF an important impromptu ad- |
dress which he planned to deliver be
fore select collection Of high-brows |
and hOrney-handed sons Of toll, who |
were to touch flesh on perfect equal |
lty the judge, who Is a great walker,
started out to rehearse his im-I
promptu speech. Being a sincere |
lover OF nature in all her moods. and
desiring little solitude in which to |
Tehearse once more his contemplated |
eXtempOraneOuS remarks, Judge |
Houston soon abandoned the high
way and entered the broad meadow |
out near Benning Half way across /
he was confronted by a huge, belHg-
Grant, belliCOse and bloodthirsty goat, |
whose loss of one horn in some pre-
v1ous encounter gave him a peculiar |
ly unpleasant and menacing appear-I
ance. The feral and ravening crea-
ture, evidently having no respect forl
the Odd Fellow judiciary as consti-
tuted, lowered his uniformed head and |
waited not upon the order of his |
going but went at once. and it may |
be truthfully added that the Judge |
went at once also. Ger moor and /
len, DER Crag and torrent, DER sedgy /
pool and gorsy heath, the twain sped !
on the wings of the wind, the Judge
to keep his rear breadth
Just about a neck in advance of his
caprinic pursuer's hot breath. And /
the judge Outran the goat-didn'tl
even stop to wet his whistle with a
bit of red, red rye" As a sprinter,
Judge Houston IS great lawyer and
a greater Judge Mind you, the Judge
has never told this story on himself.
It's bran new-just leaked out
An interesting entry in the absent
minded contest has been submitted tOI
US by an anonymous writer. which
relates how DR.. Arthur GRAY. theI
prominent proprietor OF a rival coin-l
age factory to the pair run by Board
and MCGUIRE, had been gone aboutI
two hours on hunting trip when he