davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-05-04
Jul US Was Stumped


New York an Sth avenue
grill room (the kind where you keep
one hand on your watch and the
other on your pocketbook) there is
large, jovial colored. man who
plays the piano. He doesn't know
note of music, but can play any
thing by ear
He even has the unusual gift of
being able to fake a passable ac-
compartment to song, upon hear
ing the air hummed over, and has
done so on hundreds of occasions.
The other evening a visitor who
could sing was taken TO the piano
and julius was asked to accompany
him. AT julius request, the man
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-05-04
Says Herr Limberger:

Veil poys, vat you dink now Of
dot Mirror, eh, vat? Since dot
schmall man got his hands und his
prains in them.
Vat you say? Veil -donts l al
ready know dot. You can just pet
my life dot dot little baper is the
kid candy and cot editor, Wy | don't
know vat to say apout him. You
see / vas kinder mad at him; you
know dere is a girl in Pennycvania
who is some day soon to be my wife,
and so j sent he1 the baper and she
just fell in love nit every one in the
printing Office; especially dot editor,
veil now dot makes me feel funny.
She said dot she vas glad dot / vas
in here and | pet she drinks dot if /
vas not here / would pc some blaze
else. Yes, you pet your shoes !
would, / would pc right nit her and
then / would make her name mine
yet.
But say poys, did you ever stop
and dink Wy editors get rich SO fast:
No? Veil | will tell you: When
child is born in the city, the doctor
gets from ten to twenty dollars. The
editor gives the loud mouted young
ster and happy parents grand old
send off and he gets for his drouble,
so. Ven it is christened, the pastor
gets $1,000 and the editor gets 500.
Ven it grows up and gets frau, the
editor gets busy and publish another
long -vinded piece and tell a dozen
lies apout the bride; then the pastor
gets $1.00 and piece of cake; de
editor gets 5000 and no piece of
cake. Ply and ply it dies, and the
glad undertaken gets 500. 90 to $500.
90 and de doctor gets his too. Den
the editor prints another big piece
and tell of his death; piece about
two colmes loud and also lot of
poetry und free card of thanks and
gets 5000. So you see it is no won
der why SO many editors are rich.
But guess dot dis editor will get
rich some day, ven the Warden says
veil done Billy, old boy, and gives
him free pass out theg gate. | hope
it will happen soon and SO does all
the poys.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-05-04
Hits And Near Hits.
BY Req.

3
Carter Harrison reigns supreme
once more~down in the Windy
City. 2 Ny! butt can see lots of
soft money in sight for 5 Andy Craig, !"
and a few more of the old straw
bondsmen. .
| am of peaceful disposition and
/ am not a fighting man. But if |
should meet the jasper" who lets
that Apache yell out Of him each
night about 1890, / believe I will
ingly would 90 few rounds with.
him.
When you have any ridiculous
questions to ask, just carry them to
Cap. Whelan, as he is at leasure
most of the day. He has only seven
hundred cells to inspect daily; keep.
his eye on forty 'leven bell hops, and
miscellaneous assortment of other
duties to perform.
Those of you who are metropolitan
probably miss the confusion of the
city, but those of the new arrivals
who are not metropolitan, get all
the confusion they want as they
aimlessly wonder up and down the
galleries, looking for their new
homes
A new arrival asked me to kindly
assist him in locating an old friend
of his. He said: L have read in
our family paper that my friend has
been transferred to c. G. cell, can
you tell me what that means?o Yes,
stranger, / can. 1t means that your
friend has been transferred to the
circus compartment, and no doubt
he is making faces at himself just
about now
When the days toll is over and
you peacefully SIT within your cell
door and the balmy spring breeze
gently blows upon your bald head,
just close your eyes and stretch your
Imagination and in the silence of the
dollhouse you can hear the brass
bands as they render popular airs,
down in the White City, And then
when the gong rings to retire and
brings you back to your 2x4 dome
Gle. remove your dress suit, crawl
into the hay and wonder what's for
breakfa fast.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-05-04
The Land Of Gold.
(Continaed)

y
cheapest diet was potatoes at 25cts
per pound, or $500 per bushel;
eggs 60cts a piece or $7.20 per doz-
en-; chocolate $500 per pound, and
other thsngs at proportionate prices,
based upon the cost of their trans
portation as we'll as upon their pow
er to sustain life. The exact amount
of gold that has been taken from
the Alaska gold fields can not be
truly estimated, but in 1897 tn e
Klondike district augmented tn e
worlds gold supply nearly Sc, 000,-
600. So far The Land of Gold has
paid for herself ten times over and
with bright future in other miner
ais, such as copper, iron, silver, lead,
and recently rich oil fields have
been discovered. She has enough
coal buried beneath her soil to last
the entire United States for the next
hundred years to come. And if I
could speak for the people of the
United StatesI would say: Thanks
to you, Senator Seward. =
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-05-04

OF all boys that Yellow Greeks ever as yet turned out
guess that Erastus Meeks peculiar sprout
Some years ago he got sting the correspondence bee
Hit Rastus and he found the string to educatons key
Hesarted in learn The law with postage stamps MALL
And took the word of ads he which said he couldn't fail
The he read neighteen days. It cost sixty PUNK
But in the end, his mind haze, he made awful funk
Discouraged No! not young FRIEND for all unfortunately
He'd sat down its business endhe correspondence bee
He tried again. shorthand this time and made atting
But just he doing prime he wearied of the art.
The biz his assay stole
And then the stage worthless play he promptly got hook
But he kept and took course for daring aeronauts
The plane he built used ectric burned some
watts
He'd patch him the doctor sad before the winter went
And while he upon that bed good dough sent
To learn the trick of how to work wireless telegraphy
he'd got the dirk of the correspondence
His cash he gotta job Yellow Creeks State Bank
He changed lot became snob and felt advanced in rank
But still the itch to learn by mail his one browning fad
his bills he needed kae and the tale grows sad
For at last he got a book on speculation's art:
simple plan, brains it took you worked with chart
the scheme and b the boy walked round on
Next time he ost got heavy Inland skinned the bank fair
They've got him. for years down the M s. p
last he's free, it of that correspondence bee
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-05-04
Caught IN the Get
Ar. b.

AZ. B.
Tie knocker is one who is always
in trouble.
Keep your things packed up, fel.
lows, for you cannot tell when you
will be forced to move.
Mr.. O. S. and myself, in charge
of Guard Westland, spent most OF
the week over at the Warden's house
painting and papering several rooms.
Another new barber has signed
contract to keep the alfalfa crop
cut in our midst. The other barber
has decided to learn the shoe trade.
The Warden suffered severe at
tact of lumbago recently. He was
forced to cancel an engagement to
speak, we believe, for Rev. Budlong.
Two new French horns have been
added to the orchestra. When the
new horns arrive Prof. Burchard
will have one Of the finest Bands
and Orchestras in the State.
One of the water mains under
went repairs last week. The broken
pipe is on the hill back of the prison.
Mr.. Mccarthy, and the golden haired
plumber boy, Chief Schatze's right
hand man, repaired the same.
The solos rendered by Mr.. r. J.
on Sunday mornings, are given in a
truly artistic manner. His tones are
clear and true. Prof. Burchard
predicts fine future for Mr.. j.
along musical lines.
"A certain family INDUCED at times
in mild milk punch. Being sup
prised one day by the minister he
was given glass. He smacked his
lips after drinking the connection
and said, Madam, you should thank
God for having such fine cow
MIR. =. w. copied the little poem
/ sent in last week, entitled Don't
You Cry Now, Grandma. Philip
always finds time to make another s
heart glad by kindly deed, a VIM
ming smile or pleasant word of praise.
Thanks, Philip, may your shadow
never catch you.
1t is with pleasure that | note the
splendid progress which one of the
men who lately left here is making
along literary lines. In one of the
leading papers in the State, a SER
ial story is being published-w written
by this young man. | also found
the following piece in this paper:
Maud Muller, on a summer day,
raked the meadow sweet with hay;
Her eyes bane sharp like guide sharp
knife, she bane nice girl, ay bet
your life. Before she ban dar very
long. she started singing little song.
The Yudge came riding down big
hill, in nice red jumping ottomobil.
Maud say Hello, Nudge; how bane
your The Nudge say, Maudie, how
y'do? He say, skoll yu tax little
ride? If yu skoll LAX tn yomp inside
So Maud and Yudge ride bout six
miles, and Nudge he skoll bask in
Maud's sweet smile. The Judge
say you bane my pal?' Den otto
mobil bust all to hall Den Maud
bane walking bout half way, back
to meadows sweet Wit hay. Aye
love yu still dear, say the Yudge,
but Maud she only say, oh, fudge
OF all sad words that man skoll talk,
the saddest bane, walk, yu sucker,
valk-Nuff Sed. .
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-05-04

divorce before she becomes 4 peach
., Reno.
As soon Is agirl gets married she
then gets busy and tries to help
some other girl into the same kind
of trouble.
When you hear q man remark
that accidents will happen you
may be pretty sure he has been do
ing something that he shouldn't.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-05-04
NY reJead rove$

BT.
On the Father of Waters in a birch bark canoe,
Minnehaha and /, went boating;
We had wandered, before, the wild wooded shore
In innocent days of counting.
My! what damsel was Mnnehaha,
Gee. what a warrior Minnie's Papa
Ill never forget not all through my life
How this painted old warrior battles did thrive
Her brothers were White Bear, and Ran-in the Face
Sleepy Eye, maybe belonged her race
But the Great Spirit has taken my Minnehaha
Likewise He's got Minnie's Papa
Her birthplace is marked, and a monument fair, -
sssas Near ST. Anthony Is Park by waterfalls rare
Ny! How loved sweet Minnehaha.
sigh onward my bark the Father of Waters;
I sigh for more worlds''-fair Indian daughters;
come bluff Red Wing of beauty SO rare;
pass Pepin, seeking her there's
come lone Maiden Rock-surely shes here
Oh! naught do | find but her funeral bier
oh, me- what have / lost All me- none count the cost
My beautiful maiden, only free in thy grave,
Since pursued by that savage young Indian brave.
My spirit yet dwells with my eage-winged dove,
Heart Of my Heart. Love Of my Love-
Onward Onward returning er the Father of Waters
Back DER the course, my true love has run;
Back to my Princess-fairest of daughters
Back to sweet Red Wing, wondering come.
Oh. glory forever! heart as feather
There cath the shadows, Love waits, you see;
There the trysting loves ways insisting,
Ny copperfaced Princess, is waiting for
Ibe Robin in Che Rain
Usne Dewitt Rowel.
When the day is dark and gloomy,
Don't be glum;
If the rain comes down n torrents
Let her come!
Keep stout heart and be happy,
Smile agaln;
There's robin singing somewhere
If hard luck is chummy with you
Never kick
Don't go fretting, be incoming,
Sort of sick.
Buckle in and show your mettle,
Bear the strain
Keep looking for the robin
In the rain.
May Nautilus.
{naueS
baroid susman.
OF knaves the very worst are those,
Il do maintain
Who can their former honesty
Precisely feign.
May Lippincotts
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1911-05-04

We are saved the trouble of in
vestigating a mans character when
we learn that he is hero, felon,
or saint.
The fortunate have whole years
And these they choose;
The unfortunate have only days
And these they lose.
The evening times., 1911-07-29
CRYSTAL IS ON
NAT FOR SUNDAY.
That Team Will Cross Bats
With the Picketts-G Good
Game Anticipated

The strong Crystal team will cross
bats with the Picketts tomorrow aft
ernoon at Pickett park. The visitors
have been trimming all the teams
in their end Of the state, taking games
from Grafton, Park River and Cava-
lier and he Picketts will have to
go some to hold their own. Jesse
Leigh, who was the Picketts' main
stay the first part of the season, will
be in the box for Crystal and what
he promises to do to his old team
mates will be scandalous.
Street cars will leave the corner
of Third street and DeMers avenue
every five minutes between 2 and 8
o'clock so every one will be able to
ride over. The game will be called
promptly at o'clock. Sandlie will
umpire.
The lineup will be:
Crystal: Leigh, pitcher; Kennedy,
catcher; Thiegs, first base; Olson,
second base; Dewar, shortstop; Wills,
third base; Wallace. left field; Gill
bert, center field; Hunter, right field.
Picketts: Thomas, pitcher, Roy, T.
McIlraith, catcher; first base, Span
ton; second base, Ludwig; shortstop
Chandler: third base, Hallett; left
field. Evans; center field, Conmy;
right field, E. McIlraith.
The evening times., 1911-07-29
John T. Brush in an effort to secure
his influence in favor Of Magee. .N

tI' ;
John T. Brush in an effort to secure
his influence in favor of Magee. M
President Fogel has called special
meeting Of the National league board
Of directors. and has received four
replies, two. in. favor Of the meeting,
one indefinite and another from Dr.
rector Brush, owner of the New York
Giants, who favors a mail vote.
:Magees account Of the affair in
which he struck Umpire Fnneran
and was later fined 5000 and sus-
pended for the remainder Of the sea-
son by President Lynch has been for
warded to the National league board
with the official request that he be
given hearing.
The Philadelphia club officials and
Magee contend that President Lynch
acted hastily in handing out such
severe punishment, and that he did
not take testimony from the proper
persons.
Before going to New York President
Fogel and the clubs counsel, A. D.
Wiler, declared that they intended
carrying the case into the civil courts
If the league did not give Magee re-
dress. Fogel said he was willing to
pay the expenses Of twenty-five re-
liable persons to and from any city
where the directors meeting may be
held to testify for Magee.
The evening times., 1911-07-29
MAGEE IS APPEALING
FROM LYNCH DECISION

Philadelphia, July 29.-In an appeal
which he has entered against the
edict of President Lynch that Sher-
wood Magee be fined 5000 and sus-
pended for the rest of the season, for
his assault on Umpire Finneran, the
suspended player asks that the board
oftdirectors of the National league re-
view the case. Magee also prays that
he be given an opportunity to present
his side of the case to the directorate.
He says that in his defense he can
justify his claim that he should not
be dealt with as severely as the
league president has found necessary.
The board Of directors comprise
five presidents of various clubs, all
the clubs, in fact, with the exception
of Philadelphia. Boston and St. Louis.
It Is within the province Of the board
to overrule presidential decisions,
and both President Fogel and Player
Magee are in hopes that the board
will take that view of the case.
Horace 8. Fogel, the Phillies' pres
ident, has been to New York to see
The evening times., 1911-07-29
DAD AND BROTHER OF
"ALEX" DEAD RINGERS

st. Louis. Mo-, July 29.-Two giants
strolled into the hotel in st. Louis
and asked for Grover Cleveland Alex
ander. One was youngster about 18
and the other gentleman about 48
or so years Of age.
Both were dead ringers for "Alex''
and turned out to be his father and
brother. Both were red-topped like
the famous finger of the Phillies, and
were both over six feet in height and
rawboned.
They came all the way from St.
Paul, Neb., to see "Alex" pitch against
the Cardinals, as they have not seen
him in action since he Joined the big
leaguers. It is the intention Of Alex
ander's brother to travel with the
Phillies during the remainder Of the
season at "Alex's' expense. He is go
ing back to st. Paul on Thursday
night with his father, but will rejoin
the team In. Cincinnati or Chicago.
The evening times., 1911-07-29
Rain at Boston.
Rain at Boston.
JOE TINKER'S ARM
IS GOING BACK ON HIM

Chicago, July 29.-1t is said that
Joe Tinker. the veteran shortstop of
the Cubs. has slowed up considerable,
while his arm has not the snap and
vim to it that it had only year ago.
Tinker used to throw to first at a
terrific clip while stanndinngnnnnnnn
terrific clip while standing fat-foot-
ed, but Joe can't do this now. Every
time Tinker threw ball while in
Philly it was necessary for him to
take an extra step and when he was
forced to cut loose, little hop fol-
lowed this step.
When a veteran is slowing down,
his throwing arm is the first thing to
betray him, and it is pretty safe
bet that Manager Chance is looking
about for another shortstop. Chance
has Davy Shean for next season if
Tinker does go bad, but another man
will have to be schooled to take
Davy's place, as Shean is no longer a
spring chicken.
The evening times., 1911-07-29
STEINY'S ILLNESS
CAUSED BY WORRIES

Chicago, July 29.-There is a rumor
about that Harry Steinfeldt's illness
was caused by worriment over his re-
lease from the Cubs this spring.
Strange thing this baseball game.
Harry Steinfeldt, of all players, to be
worried by anything concerning base
ball!
=. "steiny... was always known as. the
coolest man on the Cubs and nothing
ever seemed to disturb him. He was
human icicle If there ever was one,
and often declared that man must
expect anything in baseball
That once wonderful third sacker
evidently also realizes that he will
not last much longer in the big league
and regrets to leave the ranks. He
has made a bunch of money in base
ball and has invested it we'll, so
should not worry about his future.
The evening times., 1911-07-29
HONUS AFTER THE
BOSTON NATIONALS

Philadelphia, July 29.-Hoch der
Honus, the Dutchman of Carnegie,
Pa, otherwise known as Johann Hans
Wagner, is one of the. gentlemen who
is said to be dickering for control Of
the Boston National league club.
Hans is we'll supplied with the worlds
goods, and has considerable coin Of
the realm tucked away in various en-
terprises around Pittsburgh. David
Davies, one Of the scribes who trav-
eled with the Pirate crew. was the in
termediary who did the middleman
stunt for Honus. Davies says about
the matter: "Honus Wagner's nego-
tiations for the purchase Of the Bos-
ton National league club have been
broken off. The writer, who acted as
the great shortstop's agent in the mat
ter, was requested to inform Presi-
dent Russell of the Helps today that
the price asked was far in excess of
that considered fair by Wagner and
his hacker, and that there. would be
nothing doing. This being the case,
no confidence is violated when the
price is made known. Russell and his
colleagues paid something like $780,
900 for the franchise, in addition to
assuming 100000 mortgage on the
grounds. The price asked of Wag-
ner was 100000 for the franchise,
the mortgage, too, having to be as
sumed. Since Russell took hold he
has sold almost every real player he
had, his revenue from this source
having been considerable. 1t is un-
derstood that the price quoted to Ned
Hanlon was $25O.000. At least that
is the figure named by Hanlon,
whose offer of $4,000 was refused .
The evening times., 1911-07-29
MAILER IS NOT
AFRAID OF JINX

Washington. July 2e.-One baseball
superstition that does not seem to
bother Jim McAleer is that pertain
ing to the use of left-handers on spe-
cial occasions. Many managers will
not start a season with a southpaw,
though he be an almost certain win
ner, fearing that 1t will bring a jinx
on the team for the year.
McAleer opened the season with
Dolly Gray, and opened the new park
with the same pitcher. In neither
game did the southpaw go the route,
but the first one was won in q sixth
inning rally, during which Warren
Miller batted in place of the pitcher.
Boston was the opponent, and the
score was to S.
Washington hasn't had much luck
thus far, but McAleer isn't blaming
his, opening day selection for the
teams present position.
The evening times., 1911-07-29
TO BUY AUTOMOBILES
WITH SERIES MONEY

Philadelphia, July 29.-Manager
Doom took Frank Schultz, Jimmy
Sheckard and Artie Hoffman out au-
tomobiling while the Cubs were in
Philly and while speeding up Broad
street, the party passed Sherwood Ma
gee in his car. A few squares further
"Runt" Walsh was seen plotting his
car.
Sheckard asked Doom few ques-
tions about his machine, the price,
ETC., and then thoughtfully said, well
1t certainly does beat b. l don't
know how you fellows do it. have
gotten in just little bit of worlds
series money. but I have never been
able to afford a car. But I'll tell you
one thing l think / will do. I think
i will spend my worlds series money
this fall on car"
"You will have a fine chance,
don't think" retorted Doom. II am
already looking about for another car
that l intend to buy after the worlds
series money is divided
The evening times., 1911-07-29
HEDGES IS GOING
AFTER TAYLOR
Probably Trade Involves wag.
ner and a Number of
Veterans

Boston, July 29.-President Robert
L. Hedges and Scout Fred Lake, Of
the st. Louis Browns, were at the
game between the Red Sox and Chi
cago, at the Huntington avenue
grounds. They were there for the
purpose Of making trade, and the
dope was that deal involving Wag-
ners Carrigan and Engle might be
pulled off. Young pitchers are what
the Red Sox want in return for these
veterans.
John I. Taylor has mad numerous
offers for Capt. Wagner, who has
been out Of the game large part Of
the season because of weak arm
Carrigan. too, has been on the hos
pital list long time. Engle has been
used in nearly every position on the
team. Taylor thinks as highly Of
Wagner as Of any man on his team,
and Notwithstanding Heinie's reversal
Of form at shortstop recently has been
strongly advised against letting him
go.
Mack After Eddie CicOtte.
Connie Mack, manager of the Ath-
letics, is also trying to arrange a
deal with President Taylor of the Red
Sox whereby he may secure Eddie
Cicotte, the knuckle ball pitcher.
Mack offers in exchange two pitch
ers-Krause, his left-hander, and
Martin, the youngster whom he took
from the Tufts college nine this
spring. Taylor has given no answer
as yet, and is expected to refuse,
though he would like to have Krause
on his team.
Cicotte has been much in demand
by rival owners ever since early in
the season, when Taylor suspended
him and threatened to send him to
some other team. He has pitched
some good ball, but has not been es-
pecially successful. 1t is generally
believed that he would be one of the
leading pitchers of the circuit if he
could get away from Boston. He is
dissatisfied here, and anxious to be
traded. New York tried to buy him
recently, and now has a case, before
the national commission on a demand
that the pitcher be delivered, Farrell
claiming that Taylor accepted an offer
made by the Highlanders' ownership
Lowell Stars Sold to Browns.
Though st. Louis has done nothing
yet with Boston, it has recruited from
the minors, as result of Lakes ac-
tivities in this section. The Lowell
team, leaders in the New England
league today, sold three of its star
players to the ST. Louis club. MCGEE,
Wolfgang and Moulton are the men
and they will report to the Browns
at the end Of the New England league
season.
Wolfgang is the most successful
pitcher in the New England league
this season, having won nineteen out
Of twenty-five games he has pitched.
The Boston Nationals farmed Wolf
gang to Lowell, but let its agreement
lapse, SO Lowell is his sole owner
McGee is an outfielder, and the price
for him was $4,000, while Moulton is
second baseman, whose price is not
known.
The evening times., 1911-07-29

Marching in the parade may be
foolish. but it is also true that there
isn't much to say for those who
stand for hours to watch it march by.
Remorse SO often sneaks in at the
same time the strong arm of the law
prizes the door open.