Semi-weekly herald., 1911-12-11
4 TROUBLE" STORY.

| have before mentioned that since
starting this funny little magazine,
have discovered several other SINH
lar publications previously entitled:
.Hoa % Win" The editor is Sarah
Jane - iepody, and on the front page
find this big announcement:
ASK Sarah Jane of Chicago. She
will tell you how to be happily mar
ried; how to get work; how to get
money"
The price is fifteen cents per copy,
although its editor says her readers
may send as much more as they
please, which will be used to help
along the Good Work. The amusing
part of it is that the same day re-
ceived letter from the editor; she
had in some way heard of my venture
into reform work Though so imper-
fectly that she addresses me as "Mr.
Harris.') Sarah Jane, of Chicago, in
her magazine, processes to tell how to
be happily married, how to get money,
and how to get work, but confesses in
her letter to me that she is unhappily
married, and so poor that she often
goes to bed hungry; in addition to
these ills, she applies to me fol- work.
Sarah Jane also says in her letter that
her husband has always found fault
with her because of her scribbling;
he is carpenter by trade, and an
industrious man, judging by his wifes
account of him. One day, at the din
ner table, the carpenter said to his lit
erary wife:
"You have been scribbling for
years, and never made a cent; and
while you have been scribbling, you
have neglected your home"
Thereupon Sarah Jane, of Chicago,
asserted her womanhood (Which she
advises all her lady readers to do.)
'If you say neglect my home,"
retorted Sarah Jane, of Chicago, "you
lie."
The husband had no doubt "argued"
with his wife until he was tired of it,
SO he proceeded to action. There
was dish of boiled beef on the ta-
BILE, cooked with potatoes and onions.
Putting his hand into this dish, he
grabbed as much as he could hold
and threw it in his wife's face.
"Now get out of here" he said;
"I'm tired of you. Never darken my
door again"
And thereupon Sarah Jane, of Chi
cago, left her husband, who had long
been distasteful to her because he did
not care for literature. From her re-
treat, she wrote me for job, and con-
fessed that she often went to bed hun
CRY, and that she had been unable to
get anything to do ON the Chicago
papers. Still, in her magazine, she
processes to be able to tell how to
make money, how to get work, and
how to be happily married; in short,
How to VIM" which is the title Of
her publication. l fear good many
of us literary people are good deal
like Sarah Jane, of Chicago. But /
try to be different from some of them.
For one thing, do not expect my pub
lication to pay, and never did. For
another thing, / do not profess to be
able to cure worry, hard times,
Bright's disease, dry weather or old
age, all for a dollar a year. / know
of no remedy for anything unless it
is hard work, care, common sense, pa
tience, politeness and fairness. have
no d-e.e to encourage cranks of
any description. have the greatest
sympathy for Sarah Jane, of Chicago,
who seems to be at lesat unfortunate,
however wretchedly she may have
failed in her ambition to provide
plenty of money for everybody, and a
kind and indulgent husband for every
woman. But / have no hesitation in
declaring my belief that had Sarah
Jane attended to her home instead Of
devoting SO much time to writing
stuff people will not read, and to
ieS lHdt Will HOt WOTh, ner Sltua-
ton would have been much better
than it is. If it were necessary for
me to know and associate either with
Sarah Jane, of Chicago, or her hus-
band, ! should promptly chose the
husband, for there is no mistaking
that he is the better one of the two.
Had his wife given him the attention
a husband should have, no doubt he
would be better off than he is; for
a woman may make or break the man
she is closely associated with. Here
is another unhappy wife; yet who can
say her husbands experience with
marriage has not been as unfortunate
as that of his wife? When you have
found an unhappy wife, you have also
found an unhappy husband. / stand
pat on that. 1t is too bad that anyone
cannot start little thirty-two page
and win fame and fortune
with it; but it has never been done
but once, and therefore will probably
never be done again.-Ed Howe.
The postoffice department has ap-
proved of the Red Cross Seal design.