davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
Uncle Walt Says To-day:

Bob Burdete, who kept grnnng in the days when we
young urges quit their SHINING with his gentle pen
and tongue. AS wit he teacher, and ne
BOB helped the world, wist; in his age ne is
BURDETTE preacher-but he's still humorst Why should
priests, be solemncholy as they are throughout the
earnest folks be jolly? Can't they the Lord
with mrth Underneath stately ater of the church, where
gloom found would like to hear the laughter OF the joyous
Christians When seek the sanctuary depressed seems
every one that think they plan bury when the
mons When Bob writes tract he rings
human jest you find yourself asqunn in joy like all
poessed Priests like Bob will deny all the gadness
is holding that may be pous while smile adorns his
phz! - WALT MASON.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
GOING SOME

Ralph ouintsr had a client last
week. The client obtained n.ooe
worth Of advice free and then bor-
rowed . quarter. Mr.. Quinter states
that the law business Is looking up.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
Would Be a BenefactOr.

From the'Buffalo Express.
The man who invents a wax figure
capable of escorting a woman to the
opera while her husband attends a good
vaudeville show might make a comtIr-
table living, II no more.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
oNTHE AMATEUR STAGE

The many fads
OF sweet girl grads
Make uly hair curi.
The other day
! saw them play
The chorus giri."
Rat this l. worst Of all. you know
They played at 30 cents throw.
EMORY B. WILSON.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

Tom. L. johnson is dead, but his spirit
seems to have been marching to the
polls in Cleveland.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

1t is lucky that we do not all have to
live on our per capita
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

A Baltimore physician has been lectur-
ing on the baby problem. The Bishop of
London says the problem is to prevent
the diminution of the supply.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
IN THE SANE WAY.

To his rarions friends around
town ]. w. Umbstaetter wishes to
explain that his name Is pronounced
the war Il Il spelled.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

The apple growers say the country
would be greatly benefited if every per-
son ate five apples every day. 1t GER
tainly ought to make it fruitful
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

Luther Burbank has produced a thorn
less blackberry, but he can never remove
the sting from a political defeat.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
No More Woman's inequality.

From the Baltimore Star.
A girl in st. Paul drove twelve nails
in straight in forty-six seconds. Another
giant stride has thus been taken in de-
molishing the theory of womans inequali-
ty with man.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

A German professor says Americans
give themselves heart disease travelling
on elevators. +. .ey are more likely to
have It when they find the elevator is not
running.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

After all this trouble licking the trans
feS bill into shape, It would be pity to
have 1t licked by its opponents in Con-
gress
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

Evidently Massachusetts, does not share
Canada's distrust of reciprocity.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

One of the saddest moments Of all is
when the losing candidate files his ex-
pense account.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

tried in the Mcnamara case except the
guilt of the prisoner.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

To set all doubts at rest, the govern
ment officials have announced that egg
nog is a spirituous beverage.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

If the struggle between capital and la
bor is really going to be as long drawn
out as the Mcnamara trial, who can fore
see the finish?
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
4 Mean Friend.

will you loan me two dollars?'
No"
Then will YOU loan me your revolver
to commit suicide with
NO: you'd pawn it and get your two
dollars that way
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

Brooklyn did well to speak up so en-
phaticaIIy in favor Of an unbought ju-
dietary.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
Took Him Literally.

IT have beaten my sword into a plow-
share" remarked the young officer who
had resigned.
Dear me-" exclaimed his sweetheart.
Il wanted that sword TO decorate my
COSY corner with"
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

The elastic gown will be sure to lead
to rubbernecking.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
Consulting the Playwright

My star can wiggle his ears and
whistle through his teeth"
"I'm.'
Now, can you build me three-act
comedy around that?"
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

Getting together is fine. but staying sc
is altogether finer.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

No country should have constitution
until It can stand by laws.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

will cease pokinz fun at Italy for the de-
liberateness of the trial Of the Camorrists.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

II China needs an inquisitor. We do not
see how it could find one more inquisitive
than DR.. WI Ting-fang.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
Familiar Statement.

Autumn leaves are getting sere,
And the writer believes.
You will see this often ere
Autumn leaves.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
asMnrnhH Muat Co."

writ large on the election returns"
comments the New York Evening Post,
rs the proof that the disgraceful lead
ership of Charles F. Murphy is involv-
ing his party in steadily deepening dis
aster in New York County. This must
be ended. The fact must be faced that
he pulled through his nominees by a
beggarly plurality, and that the total
vote that he can muster shows an ON
inous shrinking. The entire Tammany
vote in Manhattan and the Bronx was
only about $4,000. while even for Van
Wyck. as long ago as 1897, 1t could roll
up $4,000, and in 1903 Mcclellan got
1SS,O0o II II Is made a question of on
years.. in 1907 Tammany elected a sheriff
by a majority OF 1900, while this time
Hamburger had only a plurality OF 2136.
Moreover. in 1907 the total Tammany
vote for sheriff was 146,OOO, dropping
5000 votes. despite increased population
and a surprisingly large registration.
How long" concludes the Evening
Post, must this sort Of thing go on
before the Democrats Of New York City
wake up to the fact that Murphy is as
impossible as he is intolerable?"
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
Thone Sad Gags.

why do you write so much cheer-up
verse?''
ITO sort Of offset my jokes" the press
humorist explained.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

The corn crop is nearly 45o,OOo,OoC
bushels short Oh, shucks!
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
The Lesson of the Judicial Election

According to the Chicago Record-Her-
aid. the moral OF nonpartisan judicial
nominations and elections is obvious and
a large step toward a strong and inde-
pendent judiciary. This is the papers
comment: In Cook County We had q
separate judicial election, and in spite
of partisan clamor and hypocritical ar
guments, in spite of the partisan ballot
and the clumsy statute which handi
capped independent candidates, the voters
used discrimination and excellent judg
ment in making their ballots. The strict
enforcement of the law against fraudu-
lent voting contributed powerfully to the
victory Of decency and rectitude. What
We need and should demand insistently
! is legislation totally and permanently d.
vOrcing judicial nominations and cleo
tions from partisan politics Separate
elections, wherever constitutionally pos
sIbIe, separate ballots without labels. cir
cles of partisan designations, nomina-
ton by petition-these are the means OF
| such separation"
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
Loans to snlaried Persons.

"A small investigation IN New ! ork,"
says the Saturday Evening Post, COW
cred 300 patrons OF loan sharks, and
showed that the average interest paid by
them was $50 per cent per year. Prob
ably this is typical Of that business, to
correct which the New York legislature
last year passed the Brooks bill, limiting
the rate of interest to salaried people TO
IS per cent year. But the workings OF
the act are said to demonstrate anew
that the salary loan business cannot pos
sibly be conducted at so low rate be-
cause the losses are too great. There
fore the aim is to lend money to almost
everybody who has j"h who applies
and charge so high a rate that II only
three out of five meet their obligations
they will be still ahead of the game.
In short, make the man who Is honest
enough to pay his loan stand the loss In
yoIved in lending to the man who does
not This puts an enormous handicap
upon honesty. The Bank of France Will
lend SO as cheerfully as hundred thou
sand, and at the same rate of interest,"
but our credit system puts everybody
who wants to borrow a small amount IN
one and the same categOry-as tramps'
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

After the Mcnamara trial has dragged
along few months longer. Americans
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
Behold the boss Eardener Of 2 street

Behold the gardener Of F street!
Of suspect that thera
beautiful landscape midst Let them oGTesate in
Twelfth and the most
derful collection Of granum Eiolet red roses daisies
together
to author chief
collection OF botanical crtoEies
exhibition f flowers
grow p0rtecochere and with watering pot he
the
indoors
1t Is show. and Frank bluerooon ooy When
producing prize flowers an awning.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

The trouble with Boss Cox was he
didn't get enough converts.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
Uncle Pennywise Says

Glee clubs are all very we'll in their
way, but in Boston they campaign with
symphony orchestra.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

From the Newport (R. H. News
Frothingham couldn't quite beat Fos
in Massachusetts a handicap Of $500
was a little too much.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
ELECTION ECHoS.

From the Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Bryan expressed his satisfaction y
This phrase is now historical
From the New York Press.
Good for Philadelphia! The old Quaker
blow.
From the Newport CIl. H. News.
Frothingham couldn't quite beat Foss
in Massachusetts. a handicap OF 50'UJ
was a little too much.
From the Christian Science Monitor.
There is advance and there is reaction
there is an inclination to trust persons
and to be comparatively indifferent TO
platforms; and there is mood OF inde-
pendence and of Indifference to anything
more than immediate results which
grieves party managers, statesmen who
like to take long looks ahead, and pro-
! jectors of -Lsiness enterprises and In
yestors who demand stability.
From the Scranton Republican.
1t should not be overlooked that pre-
cisely those who were most viciously at
tackled have been liven the most pro
nounced vindication.
| From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
! President Taft and leaders Of conserva'
tive Republicanism may take heart as a
result of election day evidences developed
! in Massa chusetts. New York Maryland
New Jersey, and elsewhere.
From the Chicago Examiner.
! On the whole. the judicial vote, while
lighter than it should have been, is ar
encouraging sign that the people are aler
to maintain a strong, clean judiciary.
From the Savannah News.
The elections were favorable TO tn
Democr--s They are an Endorsement o
the tariff measures passed by the Demo
cratic House curing the extra session o
Congress, and a promise OF Democrati
victory in the Presidential campaign
next year.
From the Columbia IS. c. Record.
The returns from the elections held yes
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

From the Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Bryan expressed his satisfaction.
This phrase is now historical.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

From the Columbia IS. c. Record.
The returns from the elections held yes
terday throughout the country are by no
means discouraging to the Democratic
party.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11
wasps and the Workman.

The British workingmen's compensation
law, argues the Boston Transcript has
been prolific of litigation, based upon
the assumption that the employer Is
bound to pay, whatever the origin OF
the accident, so long as it is proved to
have occurred while the sufferer was in
his employ. Here Is the transcripts
comment: a number of cases have
arisen under that law, but as yet there
is not an abundance of decisions affirm
ing authoritatively the principle OF In
terpretation and clearly defining the
statutory meaning of accident 1t has
been held, for instance, that even mur-
der may be considered an accident, and
the widow of a colIiery paymaster re-
cefved compensation for the loss Of her
husband, who was killed and robbed on
board a railroad train while on the way
to the scene of his duties. The highest
court maintained that he was doing what
he was hired to do when be came to his
death.
Another widow, suing for similar
COMPENSATION was not so fortunate, but
she ELECTED an important ruling. The
owner of a farm hired a man as driver
| of a steam thrashing machine. While
so employed he was stung by a wasp.
Blood poisoning set in and he died. The
widow sued, and the county judge al
lowed her claim, but the court of ap-
peals reversed the judgment, because It
| had not been shown that the fatal acci-
| dent arose out of his employment. The
| court held that for compensation to be
/ recovered It must not only happen In
the course of employment, but 1t must
arise out Of It."
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

Good for Philadelphia! The old Quaker
town gave Boss Penrose a staggering
hlOw.
The Washington herald., 1911-11-11

On the whole. the judicial vote, while
lighter than it should have been, is an
encouraging sign that the people are alert
to maintain a strong, clean judiciary.
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12

Hon. JAS. w, Norment, who is
temporarily residing at Santa Fe,
New Mexico, arrived in Starkville
Wednesday and is spending sever
afdays here. He is accompanied
byMrsaNern ent and the children
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12
$lOO REWARD $lOO.

The readers of this paper will be
pleased to learn that there is at
least one dreaded disease that
science has been able to cure in all
its stages, and that is Catarrh.
Halls Catarrh Cure is the only
positive cure now known to the
medical Fraternity. Catarrh being
a constitutional disease, requires u
constitutional treatment. Halls
Catar h Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surface OF the system tx ere-
By destroying the foundation of the
disease, and giving the patient
strength by building up the consti.
ution and assisting nature in do.
ug its work. The proprietors
nave SO much faith in it's curative
powers that they offer One Hun
dred Dollars for anv case that it
fails to cure. Send for list of tes
timOnials.
Address F. j. Cheney & Co.,
Toledo, O.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Take HalPs Family Pills for con
situation,
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12
Notice..

All concerned will take due notice
that certificate No. 221 in my name
for five shares of capital stock Ct
John M. Stone, Cotton Mill, has
been lost or destroyed, and as said
certificate was not endorsed, I shall
make application for a duplicate
certificate at the expiration of 30
days provided for by the rules gov
e"ning duplication of stock certifi-
Gates. VIM. r. Gladnev !,
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12
A Regular Tom Boy

was Susie climbing trees and
fences, jumping ditching, whiting,
always getting scratches, cuts.
sprains, bruises, bumps, burns Or
scalds. But laws! Her mother
just applied Bncklen's Arnica Salve
and cured her quick. Heals every
thing healable-Boils, I lcers
Eczema, Old Sores, Corrs or Piles.
Try it. 25c at all dealers.
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12
LOW ROUND TRIP FARES
Via Mobile and Ohio Railroad Account
Annual Reunion U. c. W., Lit
tie Rock, Ark, May 1918.

Tickets on sale May 1915 ilc.,
limited, returning, to reach origi-
nal starting point not later than
May 23d, 1911, except that extern
sion of limit to June IA may be Sc.
cured by deposit Of ticket and pay.
ment of fee Of 80 cents. For fur
ther particulars apply to nearest
ticket agent, Mobile & Ohio Ry..
~ v, a AsGrifin Meridian, Miss,
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12

must be filled with care and with pure
drugs. He expects this when he pre-
scribes, and unless the prescription is
properly filled the money you pay both
the doctor and FOX the prescription is
worse than wasted.
You do not go to the doctor unless the
matter is pretty serious, so not only for
the sake Of getting something for your
money, but from the far greater stand
point Of good health should you bring
your prescriptions to us.
R. k. e. F. L. Wier
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12

NOU have more money invested in your farm than
your grocer has in his stere. sell Big part
of your goods by weight as he does why not b. as
businesske? II will pay you Just We'll il docs
him.
"A pair OF scales bought from cost only few dol-
a lars at most, and enabi4 you to KNOW not TO
GUESS, and save their price many tim.s, man,
ways in year.
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12

Sick headache results from dis
ordered stomach, and can be cured
by the use of Chamberlain's Stom-
ach and Liver Tablets. Try it.
For sale by all dealers.
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12

Mr.. A. F. Rush, Jr., chashier If
the Merchants & Farmers Bank,
left Tuesday evening for Green
wood to attend The State Pankers
Association.
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12

Dir. j. w. Crumpton returned
Wednesday from jackson where he
spent two days this week attending
q meeting of the State Board of
Health.
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12

Now is the time to get rid of
your rheumatism. You will find
Chamberlain's Liniment wonderful
ly effective. One application will
convince you of its merits. Try it
For sale by all dealers.
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12

Mr.. w. F. Marshal, former
travelling seargent of the state
penitentiary, died at his home in
New Albany Monday. Mr.. Mar
shal had many acquaintances and
friends in Starkville who will re-
gret to learn of his death.
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12
ALEXANDER DAY In STARKVILLE.
The Immense Crowd Filled the Court
House Even to its Capacity for
Standing Room.

J
News gives a correct and full ac-
count of Mr.. Alexander's speech in
This city last Monday which the
Times herewith reproduces:
| The enthusiastic hearing accord
ed Mr.. &. Ill. Alexander by the
/ large audience which assembled
1 here yesterday to hear his address
was nothing short OF an ovation.
Before The appointed hour arrived
eyefy seat III the large auditorium
OF HE colul house WAS taken
standing room was.at premium
and lna.,y eng unable to get iii
trrned away. A number of ladies
were present, That the majority
OF he audience was III fun sNmpa-
Thy VIII the speaker was so, II
evident.
/ The minority, who were known
to lean toward the ex-governor as
their preference in the senatorial
race, listened attentively through
out the address of two hours and
seemed impressed by the forceful
logic of the speaker. The entire
audience seemed fully to enjoy Mr..
!Alexander's rich fund of wit, hui
NOR and anecdote with which he
frequently and aptly illustrated his
arguments. He was frequently
applauded.
Mr.. Alexander was introduced
by Judge Thos. B. Carroll, who in
the course of his five minute speech,
referred to the time back in the
80's when he and Mr. Alexander
were young practitioners of the
Starkville bar. Just at the con-
clusion of this introduction a pleas
ant little surprise was sprung on
the audience and the distinguished
speaker of the occasion, when,
from number of ladies seated
near the stand, Mrs. HI. Z. Saun-
ders came forward, handed Mr.,
Alexander handsome white bo.
quet and said; THE ladies of the
w. G. Z. U. of Starkville wish to
present this slight token of their
friendship for you, of their hearty
appreciation of the excellent SER
vice you have been to them and
their cause in Mississippi, and in
grateful recognition of the fact
that your life furnishes notable
example of the principles forwhich
they stand"
This pretty and well-deserved
compliment to the speaker was
roundly applauded.
The A, & M. College band, con-
sisting Of twenty instruments, I'M
der a skill ul director, enlivened
tile occasion with good music.
A marked impression was ere
ated upon the audience, when to-
ward the close of his address, Mr..
Alexander told them this morning
Major Vardaman had bruskly dis
missed the whole matter of the
auditors investigation upon his
appearance before Auditor Moore.
MIR. AleXander's speech at this
place more than met The expecta.
tion of his friends al d has left a
lasting an0 favorable impression
upon all who heard him.
Al the Vardaman reporters would
state it, there were something less
than n million present--or to be
accurate, between $50 AND $40
TPN"P'o' >-~~O-.N-~JN-->~~~~-~~-
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12
~OOoOO0oooo

DIR. Thos. j. Wood left Monday
for Blookhaven to attend the Mis-
sssippi State Press Convention
which holds IFS annual session in
that city this week.
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12
A /. a.! Wants 10 Die

on,y when u lazy liver and slug.
gish bowel ran.e Friglfnl ucspon-
tltncy, Bat Dr. Kings New Life
Pills expel poisons from tie system ;
bring hope and courage; cure all
Liver. StonHclp und Eitney trou-
b es; impatt henjth and visor to
the weak, nervous htd aiiing. 25e
az al dealelS,
~S-1~~~>-e-1~~>S~4r~~NN-
The | .IhG. VII! iheet with Mrs.
=. Il liearon Tuesday attelnnpn,
Alay 10th, ut $50 O'clock, 4Dtle-
gates will report the Meridian con.
veutiony
East Mississippi times. (Starkville, Miss.) 19??-1926, 1911-05-12

j. NJ. Howell. a popular druggist
of Greensburg, Kv., says, 1--WE
use Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
i'll our OWL houshold and know it
Is excellent" For sale by all
dealers.