Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-08-24
FROM THE HICKEYyILLE
CLARION

H4sOM IL L Nll/LE
CLARION.
If it wasn't for the home made obit-
uary poetry. there wouldn't be much
real. original humor In this country.
Grandpa Purdy wen to church in the
rain last Sunday n is now at home
suffering from iniammatory religion.
Jed Frink, u gentlemanly and con-
genial blacksmith, has just completed
a new set of false teeth for Grandma
Purdy.
Uncle Ezra Harkins is getting to be
recommendations for Binks' Tonic ac-
cepted and published lately.
Hank Tumms fell down the back
stairs one day last week and broke
three ribs n five commandments sim
~ultaneous and at the same time.
Ez Hanks says when he dies he.
wants the H~ickeyville Silver Cornet
band to play at his funeral, and then
everybody will be sorry he is dead.
Bige Timms has got a new go H. p.
roadster. His wife has also
got a machine which occupies all of
her time and attention. 1t is a Singer.
Deacon Purdy has two sons who are
down to New York. One of EN- is
writing poetry for a newspaper and the
other one amt maxim any money
either.
Miss Amy Stubs. our village mil
liner. has got a hat so big around that
h can't take holt of her feller's arm
when she is walkin' with him on the
street.
A drummer representa- a. nursery
firm was through here last week. but
he didn't do much business, for the
ok around here have got about all
the kid they want.
Mrs. LATE Purdy appeared at the
party last Thursday evening with one
of them decollette gowns on. Her hus-
band can't make much more than a
bare living for her.
Hank Tumms stole the sheet iron
thunder storm out'n the opry house to
patch up his tin roof with, and now
they can't have any show with un-
pleasant weather in it.
KEEP COOL.
Don't let the torrid atmosphere of z,za-
mer worry you, but just
Keep cool.
Don't let yourself be ruffled UP. az
cited or unduly fused.
Keep cool.
Don't scold about the price Of Ice or
meat, or anything like that.
Don't worry over little things or insti-
tute a family spat
Or lose your temper uselessly and vent
your feelings on the cat.
Keep COOL.
When everything on earth goes wrong
and things are not what they
should be,
Keep cool.
Remember how Cap. Peary fought the
icebergs in the polar sea.
Keep cool.
When asphalt pavement seethes and
boils and stone sidewalks reflect
the heat:
When 1T is possible to broil beefsteak
right on the b~rick-paved street;
Don't rave and swear and tear your
hair inc spoil a disposition sweet.
Keep cool.
When collars wilt and p%erspiration
trickles down your manly back,
Keep cool.
When you feel very sure, ere long,
your dome of thought is going to
Keep cool.
Though others rave about the heat and
are beyond all measure fused.
And though the weather bureau is
quite properly maligned and
We don't know how you'll do it, but.
remember. of all things, you must
Keep cool.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
The way of the pants presser is hard.
The harem skirt covers a multitude
Of shins.
Old Hi Perkins is a man Of very
regular habits. He. gets drunk every
night.
Many a man earns his bread by the
sweat of his frau. Lem Purdy's wife
takes in washin'.
BY gravy. it seems to be o OF a
disgrace to have a 1910 model Oatmo-
bile than to have lone at all.
Rev. Mr.. Binks has the shingles.