The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1911-02-19
Men Of Stern Visage
Laugh Like School
Boys.
GRIDIRONEKS
THEIR HOSTS
Leaders Of Nation Are Roasted
Brown by Capitals Newspaper
Men-Program Is Elaborate,
Even for One Of These
Famous Affairs-Nota-
BILE Guest List.

Washington. .. c., February IS
That unique organization of news
paper mon, the Gridiron Club, enter
tanned its friends at dinner tonight,
and II would be hard to tell which got
the most fun out of the varied me-
langc or wit and hurnor, Of sense and
nonsense. that was poured forth
tho guests or tho hosts. There were
many men of high degree among the
former; men of stern usage with
faces lined with the burdens Of great
public charges and responsibilities;
yet they laughed like schoo boys and
chuckied and chortled with mirth at
the merry quips and jests OF the
scribes that unfailinsly played upon
the foibles Of some of their own mum
her. or hit off in Il roaring skit some
fatal in the party policies.
And the hosts had that keen sense
Of enjoyment that comes from a
knowledge tina one has purvcyed sue
cessfully to the utmost demands Of
mind and matter. and has supplement-
cd a renast of the most exquisite vi
ands with a feast of mingled humor
and satire calculated TO add Infinite
zcst TO the entertainment.
This Dinner Different.
Gridiron dinners differ from most
other formal affairs Of the table, in
the fact that q guest does not wade
ui tHEOuSn Il HeaNS course Qtn-
ner clear down 70 the coffee and ci-
CARS. and only then. with brain more
or less dulled. have an opportunity TO
listen TO floods of oratory. No; at one
OF these banquets the fun begins with
he very seating OF the guests and
sparkles and crackles through the
dinner. and Interrupts courses in a
fashion calculated to drive a we'll
meaning chef to distraction.
TIL r G-,i plf's tJit,na 80. ~, g -, -. -
TO he rule, for almost at the outset
there was what appeared to be a BIT
torv1ow ovcr4the inauguration of Rich
ard y. Oulahan. publisher or the New
York Sun, as president to preside over
the dinner OF the Gridiron Club for
the next year. Quite w OF op-
position. he had taken lis seat at the
vsrT handle of the gridiron when he
was :crccly heset by the famous Dem
ocratic COMMITTEE Of Fifteen"
Because they had undertaken to run
the business of the House OF Represen-
tat!vcs. relieving of all responsibility
the unfortunate Speaker (Unanp
Clark, whom they exhibited IN
shackles TO demonstrate what Il rules
fgh; III one Congress can do to a
perfectly good Speaker in tho next:
they now extended their ambitious de-
signs and demanded 10 be inaugural ted
as president OF the Gridiron Club.
Jny "Spry" Unenrthed.
Scarcely had the committee been
placatcd by being resolved into q "Io-
Combine and order restored when a
Japanese spy was uncarthcd. Papers
of the most compromising nature were
found ilpon his person, such as q dia-
gram showing where honorable Cum
rnins will place step ladder on back
porch OF White House. blue prin; of
Hon. Taft's mind when Hon. Hitchcock
efused to be impelled with toe OF
boot out Of Republican National! Com
mittcc," '~phonograph record showing
long intervals Of silence at oyster
Bay and measurements of honorable
hole into which Congress throws ST.
600, 900 900 each year lust when the
excitement ran highest, it was discov-
cred that the p~scudo-spy was Rich
mond Pearson IIobson, the .~'Japancsc
war scare
Blithc enough was the s~prightly
clerk who announced to the diners that
the House had passed the reciprocity
bill, which he held in his hand. But he
cut an awful fgurc a few minutes
later as nc emerged from the door
OF tho Senate Chamber. With his clothes
in ~tat:ers, his hat Knocked over his
eyes and the parchment OF the bill IN
shrcds-''all that was left Of rccipro-
city
Then for a moment the dining hall,
with its cNquisitely beautiful iloral
embellishments, was plunged into
blackncss. and the great fiery gridiron
over President Taft's head faded away.
In sepulchral tonns Il lecturer lifted
his voice amid the chill silence and
discourscA mournfully and then In
turn with pungent Wit upon public
men and measures. and shricks or
laughter were heard as a remorseless
spotlight was directed upon the
shrinking victims OF his shafts Of wit
as they were each in order disclosed
to their fellow guests.
An Opposition Dinner.
Thinking that he had quoted all op-
position in disposing of the Commit
tee Of Fifteen the newly-installed
president OF the club had been lulled in
TO false security. Before his very eyes a
big table was spread like magic in
the open space below his seat. and In
a %twinkling an opposition dinner :
In full blast over his protests. 1t APP
peared that there were Insurgents even
in tho Giridiron Club. and they had
taken this method of showing their
Independence. They utterly Disregard
ed the president Of the club and snug
~ constituted themselves a mutual
admiration society.
1T Is perfectly wonderful how we
do 1t" (meaning the dtnner), says one.
ut is amazing that newspaper mon
should have SO much talent volun-
teers another. to which n third gravely
nssents: However. we admit It." 10
table guests had these Insurgents, too.
ments OF Carnegie, Tawney. Cannon.
CONTINUED on Fourth Pnge.)
.@Fi..N5slHL YScSf IEcryiooI Ia rOIffnrpto $3.50 -