New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-05-03
WHISPERS AND BALD
HEADS FIGHT A DRAW
Speaker Champ Clark. Referee,
Throws Up His Hands in
Despair.
PUBLIC MEN IN TIE RING
Cannon, Longworth, Carter and
Taylor the Contestants-BiT
Audience, but No
Betting.

Betting.
washington Nav 2-Vhether whiske-s
are greater detrinent - q man than
a bald head is still disputed question
-Four Of the ablest men in public life
discussed the subject before the Ma
ticnal Press Club here tonight The
bout was under Marquis of Queensberry
rules. and when the bell rang the ref
cree threw up his hands in despair
Speaker Champ Clark of the House
Of Representatives.. called on in the
emergency declared he couldn't see any
usc in either whiskers or q bali head.
and refe~red the whole matter 10 the
Wavs and Means Committee of the
House which now has the wool and hair
schedule under consideration.
The bald headed side of the question
was in the hands Of Senator Robert L.
Tavlor. Of Tennessee. and Representa-
tive Nicholas Longworth. of ohio. The
chin curtains found their champions in
OK Senator Thomas H. Carter. Of Mon
tana. and "Uncie Joe" Cannon. of Hi
roie. Messrs. TAYLOR and Longworth en-
.cred the ring amid cheers and applause.
Their hairless domes sparkled beneath
the radiance Of myriad electric lights
Senator Carter and Uncle Joe" came
with their whiskers combed for the fray.
The shouts that greeted them were
deafening
Or pure Food" Wiley. Of the Depart
r7crt of Agriculture. was chosen as time
l-oener and 10 each contestant ten min
,tos was allowed. Scott G. Bone repre-
sen.ed the Press Club as referee during
rostiities. but gave way 10 Speaker
clark NJ the end The audience was
rsthered from every part Of the country.
and included most Of the prominent men
Of Washington The absence OF verdict
prevented any money from changing
hands
Lorgworth Leads for Bald Heads.
REPRESENTATIVE Longworth was the
first speaker He declared that he did
not believe a hair on the head was worth
two on The chin Neither was he willing
70 assume that a bald head-rrovided he
should be. considered bald-was in any
sense a handicap. either in public or pri-
vate life. Mr Longworth asserted that
on his birthday every man has choice
between hair and brains. His choice he
declared was apparent
The condition of the disputants on
the other side is utterly inexcusahle'
declared Mr. Longvorth. In olden days
whiskers were excusable-they were
sworn bv-but nowadays they are only
sworn at. There is no excuse for sncn
whiskers as those that adorn the chin
or chest-of the former Senator from
Montana I claim that whiskers are un-
sanitary and I appeal to the timekeeper
10 uphold me"
The timekeeper promptly called time.
NJ Longworth insisted that he had been
interrupted. and that these Interruptions
should not be taken from his time. Or.
WILEY insisted that the interruptions
we're the best part of the argument
Carter Whisker Exhibit.
Ex-senator Carter was introduced as
Exhibit A" for the whiskers
NO man" said he, ever voluntarily
wore a bald head. a bald head is an
affection. a standing joke. a physical in
frmity We pity. but do not blame our
opponents"
Mr.. Carter insisted that the beard
was the real thing He ridiculed mus
taches and declared they first called out
tre name Of whiskers as they whisked
back and forth in the breeze.
40 fair maiden" he said. ever
feared a promise from bearded man.
The beard ie a badge Of manhood a
bearded man needs only opportunity.
The first man to cut of boards was
Alexander the Great II was brutal
r7ea sure of varfare-to prevent antae-
orists from seizing the soldiers BY the
beard Let as all wear heards. and
the~e will be no more warfare IN this
troubled world of ours.
There IS another thing about the bald
headed man He naturally goes 10 prison
without previous preparation. The sub
iect is ready for THE work. i takes some
trouble ~ prepare a bearded man for
that unfortunate habitation. Our oppo-
rents tonight having neither hair nor
uhiskers we're compelled 10 take the side
assigned n them The baldheadei nan
will be the butt Of Jokes from the be-
ginning 70 the end
a saldreaded Noses.
Senator Taylor. introduced as an
"ivory- pated Moses Of the Tenressee
Democracy. declared that when NJ.
Cannon was Speaker Of the House he
shook restilence and war from his hor-
rid beard. He dwelt on the nobility -
the bald peaks of the mountains and The
bald neads Of the American eagles cir
cling about them in the azure atmos-
rhere Coming down 10 bald facts he