The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1911-01-28
The Friendly
Critic

When jerks returned to the Office
after visit to the tonsorial parlor he
was In a happy frame of mind. For
two weeks he had been urged to get his
hair cut. The entreaties finally took
the form Of command and it really
looked as though there might be per-
sonal damage If jerks didn't acquiesce
and let the barber trim the mat down
to reasonable proportions.
They will so into OBSTACLES of de-
light now. dare say" muttered jerks.
"The've won. The hair is cut and they
can see for themselves"
jerks. your Intentions were fine
the head bookkesper remarked, but
in the name Of Mike, who is your
barber?"
One of the best in town." jerks
replied. He charges IS cents for his
haircuts. and he has had q world of
experience"
why didn't he finish the job?" tho
credit man asked.
He gave me hairout, DIDN'T he?"
jerks replied. doggediy.
There Is no doubt that he started
something" the head bpokkeeper
broke in. Was he in hurry?
mo, he wasn't in a hurry"
"The haircut appears all right to
interrupted, except that tho sides
don't balance"
why don't they balanoef" jerks
asked.
The right side is longer than the
left side"
The sides are all right" the head
bookkeeper broke in.
Indeed" jerks retorted. II was
under tho Impression that one OF them
was left"
Il mean that the sides are even."
tho head bookkeeper returned. "They
might appear to be uneven, but that's
an optical illusion. You kind O hang
down on one side, anyway"
II note that the barber shaved
the back of your neok," tho credit man
said.
us that what you cah ~" the ste
nographer asked. Il thought that he
had shaved the back of his head"
You know l appreciate these ortiz
cisms." jerks said. hut you have my
permission to saw of at any time.
The haircut suits me-
That's because you feel n, and
don't see IT,
Il can look at IL II I want TO-" ex
claimed jerks.
But don't do It, old man: for the
peace Of your mind, don't dp It. Think
OF us-we have to look at II"
I'm New York, you know" the
credit man resumed, "a first class
barber never sheves mans neck
unless he has Hca1 In the chair
and wants to entertain the other
BARRIERS. Why, any man who would
walk down Broadway with h4s neck
shaved would be arrested for inciting
riot"
Whom the noon hour arrived. jerks
sneaked over to the barber shop and
began cross-exnmination.
What do you think OF this hair
cut?"
"A fine haircut" the barber said.
"Is it cut even?"
II belong to the union; you don't
think I'd cut 1t uneven. do your
do you think you should have
shaved that neck?"
Shaved your neck? What did you
want me to do~-cut your hair and
leave a bunch Of corn silks on the
back of your neck for the cows to
play with?"
Il never thought of that. but the
gang over there says they don't
shave 'em in New York."
Don't worry about the way they do
things In New York. Let mo tell you
something (the barber grew oonflden-
tial and spoke in whispered tonea) the
ginks around here that tell you about
the way they do things in New York
never saw New York except on the
railroad map. They get their style
charts from De Soto. Mo, For
get It,"
That's an example Of tho power of
suggestion" the barber remarked, aft
er jerks had departed. "Thsm same
guys, you know. make well-meaning
citizens throw away new flve-dollar
hats. Ever have q crowd OF en- d.
agnose a boil on The back OF your
neck? They'll have you thinking that
the bolts goin' to break on the in
side and cause death by blood poi
soning before you can telephone the
police. On the lsvSl, they do"