davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
Iiv,no. Ire

There's a sort of l~aziness that OF
itself Is genius in its sense Of perfect
perspective. Tip once knew a chap
who was making several thousand dol
lars a year in New York, with still
higher prospects. He came to say
goodby.
"Why, what's the matter?" asked
Tip. E4Dl l5304- 1853
"Chucking up the job"
a1qWhat fort" E&G
Got something better
"Where?"
"F1orida-taking the mails up and
down the Indian river in a sailboat-
5000 a year"
What"
"That's right. Nothing in this. Just
working to get more so as to pay out
more. Think of drifting up and down
the Indian river, basking In the sun
all day long; nothing to spend on any
thing. It's the chance of a lifetime"
That was years ago, In the days
when everything In the south was look
ing very peakit, and Tip has never
seen him since. Maybe, with the fat
times which have come in Dixie, If he's
still on that drifting job, he's now get.
ting $225 a year.
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
His Pace.

At the Franklin Inn, a Philadelphia
literary club, an essayist said of Mark
Twain:
"His old age impressed me with its
sadness. Visiting him last year, we
drove through the beautiful, rolling
New England country. 1 happened to
remark that the horses ran uphill and
walked down. To this with a sad
smile, he replied: WI
"Ah, they remind me Of my own
life. When l was young, and had
hills and obstacles to climb ran.
Now that I'm old and tired, and there
are no hills or obstacles. walk
slowly"
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
EarlsErom Bohemia.

u Bjenks-How Is that lean, unscis-s
sored bohemian = getting on these
days? e1 81 9I''4 a1o' Z H7'29.7
TjarksAWhy, they say he is desper-
,ately In love with the girl down in
the laundry and is to be married soon.
Something suspicious about Il, though,
Bjenks-I should say so. What is a
sFne-hahaH1fau1doing around-a laun-
dry. anyway? arEtnnrr II
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
Why Not Do It ThemseIves7

Judge Ben P. Lindsey, In a wom-
ans suffrage address at Albany, said
with q smile:
Another type of mar ccuse the
woman voter of grating. Well, we
are all prone to accuse others of our
own besetting sin. Like the tramp,
you know.
"a tramp, after a day or two in our
hustling, bustling town of Denver.
shook the Denver dust from his boots
with the snarl:
"'They must be durn lazy people in
this town. Everywhere you turn. they
offer you work to do"
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
NOW What5Did She Meanf

-. NOW What DId che WedHE
! AT a recent. wedding a baby had
-shrieked without intermission to the
great -~anhoyanceJ ofSths gnesta, aetc.
AS the bridal party was leaving the
church a slight delay occurred, one
Of the guests seized the opportunity
to say-te-the first bridesmaid:-
What a nuisance babies are at q
wedding!"
Eyes, indeed" answered the brides
maid, angrily. when l send out in
!. yitations to my wedding shall have
printed in the corner, No babies ex-
pected.' Nudge.
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
Wanted to Know.

A mar whose proboscis had suffered
amputation, was invited out to tea.
my DEAR" said the good woman of
the house to her little daughter, Il
want~you to be particular, and make
no remark about Mr.. Jenkins nose"
Gathered about the table, everything
was going well; the child peeped
about, looked rather puzzled and at
last startled the table:
Ma, why did you tell me to say
nothing about Mr.. Jenkins nose? He
hasn't got any?"
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
Now He Doesn't Believe II

A Cleveland man was reading some
jokes about how the English weren't
so slow as they. are supposed to be
to get a joke. He believed it, too. So
he tried his theory on a British guest
Of his.
4''' did you ever hear Mark Twain's
Joke about how the q report of his
death had been greatly exaggerated?"
he asked 0 c8-IAsl5 qaI a.skz RsEs Bias
ID NO" answered the Englishman,
eagerly, "but I'll wager 1t was good.
What was it?"-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
!Tha Ballot Box.

The ballot box seems sacred to me,
and L never voted without removing
nv hat. The men In the voting booths
are always amused at this attitude,
but to me the voting privilege viii be
always treated with great respect. "A
man should pray as he votes and vote
as he prays.ARey. R. s. Macarthur,
Baptist, New York. city. % aL
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
Time SAVING.

iltaA new version oftthe new long fa-l
miHar while you wait" signlis found
in an uptown avenue where a barber
shop and a. tailoring shop stand side
by side In front of the building hangs
a sign on which are displayed the
name of the tailoring concern and the
name of the barber shop and this ant
nouncement: '-0 -@"A@ 80 GU"
-"Suits cleaned and pressed while
YOU are getting shaved .YHNew York
Sun. -
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

The impossible


81 Andrew Carnegie, at a recent din.
ner In New York, said Of a certain
labor trouble: ], yg~nS n4rf q
"It- is silly Of employers to pretend
In these troubles that they are always
in the right. Employers are often
in the wrong; often unreasonable.
They o~ften-Tlike Mrs. ,Smith-Jones-
ask impossible things:
Mrs. 8Smith-Jones, taking a villa
at Palm Beach, engaged for butler a
stately old colored deacon. yEsa1 anIn,
".Now, Clay she said to the old
fellow, there are two things I must
insist upon-truthfulness and obedi.
ence,' = ICY 5i-' .. 9l'''i- e4410 9a5
eyes, madam, the venerable serv-
ant answered, and when yo' bids me
tell yo' guests yo's out when yo's in,
which shall it be, smadam?'l"a4 ma a
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
pIsrEMPER

IN all its forms among an ages Of horses,
as we'll as dogs, cured and ethers in same.
stable prevented from, having the disease
with SPOHN'S DISTEMPER CURE.
Every bottle guaranteed. Over 900, 600
bottles sold last year $50 and $780, Any
good druggist, or send to manufacturers.
Agents wanted. Spohn Medical Co., Spec.
Contagious Diseases Goshen Ind. ~ ~
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
2 IGEslkseP ctean.
jnd .MeINA elia

Keep your house and your belong
ings clean.W Letathe1besseda sun. the
greatest physician in the world. get
all through you and all about syon.
Get your fiji shafsoo Of theAfree air of
heaven 'sEat to live and not live to
eat.p as IA sage philosopher of the long
z tells US. Keep your house clean
In which YOU live and Ike ep the
g"housep Cin3 which your life lives
clean, md an win be well. -
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
Her Eace Doesn't please Her,

The young woman sat before her
glass and gazed long and earnestly at
the reflection there. She screwed up
her face In many ways. She fiuffed
her hair and then smoothed 1t down
again. She raised her eyes and low
cred them; she showed her teeth and
she pressed her lips tightly together.
At last she got up, with a weary sigh,
and said: azS'
"It's no use. I'll be some kind Of
reformer." l'.p --
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

6yillpCOlllS. IL dltdiu
perfect health, you
must keep your filters
right. You can use no
better remedy than
Doan's' Kidney Pills.
) Mrs. Nettie Durham,
4 Mechanic St.. Sene--
ca Falls, N. Y, says:
IT had lain in. bed
four months and the
doctors said. I lit
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
Classic Note.

"Archimedes,n read the pupil,
'leaped from his bath, shouting. Eure-
ka! Eurekap ngBo1s li5a si'8aI g5Ai
"One moment, James," the teacher
says. What is the meaning of 'Eu-
rekai'"
Eureka means I have found 1t.
Every wen. What had Archimedes
found?" 49, ! 90 '9'A
q 2, James hesitates q moment, then
ventures hopefully: ~ .' Daa.
"The soap, mum."-Christian Intel
iligencer.. SIT! lis t.ga9 bs3 b..
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
aHonetsssIva outcIassed

"Mrs. Caswell, while you were IN
Venice did you e the Bridge of
Sighs?" s
"Oh, yes; 1 saw what they called
that. But, my land, I've seen bridges
ten times it's size without ever going
out OF. PENNSYLVANIA" rr Dna ,
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
How II Happened.

Rastus was on trial for the theft Of
a turkey and took the stand on his
own behalf. 81 didn't steal no turkey,
squar'; 1 stoled a rail.
"Well, Rastus, how did those bones
get in your back yard%
"They done come dar without my
nermishun; an 1 amt 'sponsfble, you
see, squar., Twas needin' firewood. SO
I took de rail and toted 1t home, an
der was a turkey on 1t, a great big fell
lab. Well, sab. what's on my lan's
mine, an / didn't give i'm no time to
run off, neither, squar'."
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

-I-am~ quite as much at a loss as
anyone else to say what is the object
@~ of life, but I do not feel any doubt that
wesare not sent into the world to be
ina fuss.-A. C. Benson.
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
sSs2n4D ~tsttnction.

50 Jim may not be a successful mar"
said the optimist, @but he's full q. pos
sibilities." bsfs ia .otlar
Perhaps" grunted the cynic, but
not Of probabilities" 10
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

J LrDraao EtheEn .plutocrats! They're
grinding ndown the poor worse every
day. There l was maxim ez high ez
,e$29I a week commission fer ketchin' au-
ltoniobife lspeedersy an'Ynow what do
they do?-They take to fyin' ma
chimes an cheat a poor man out of his
liYii. ths &essslEGEllI4a8sS.l u0igu.
out Of Date. q
"a fTnam COINS to- ask your father to-
night for you hand In marriage. ~
How dreadfully oid-fashioned you
are"
I'm what way?"
Don't ask him; tell him."
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

The cotton padding that squares up
the shoulders of the coat adds moth
ing to the size of the man, but 1t
makes him feel bigger when he looks
in the glass. Uaa .nl
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

Old Gentleman-And, what's, your
nome INV bovo E A-xF -EIii
= Kid-Seeh is famel He don't rec
-ognfze -~champeen-of the
Thoiteenthe wardIa
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

If a dose Of Hamlins Wizard Oil taken
at night win prevent your having 8 bad
cold in ths morning, isn't 1t q good idea
to nave 1t ready to take the moment you
feel the cold coming? - 's~ ,''Oa DO.
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
HEALTHY KIDNEYS ESSENTIAL
TO PERFECT HEHETH.

When healthy, the kidneys remove
about 500 grains of impure matter
from the blood daily when unhealthy.
some part SofSthe impure matterSis abb
sorbed, causing various diseases and
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
Have you got it?

There was a pause and then, mo.
mamma, the fly papers got me. But
we're both coming"
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
s.tw.en women.

How exasperatingfy clever she
Is q"sASfD 5idsl4A& 3.5 10 si.sb.ezIi ~
eyes but how aconsolfngly homely!"
Puck, Ygll3il ,sAl..gS " s4.9ss a..
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

Vi Heroism Is endurance for, one mo
ment more.-W. T. Grenfell, .aV
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

Mrs. wins1ows seething Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces inhamma
ton, allayz pain. cures wind collie, 25c a bottle.
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12
Both Comma.

Mamma had sent little Bessie to the
pantry to fetch some sticky fly paper.
She was gone a long time, and finally
the mother called:
-"Ressie. hurry with the fly paper.
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

The only proof against disappoins-
ment is to expect the unexpected
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

Authority II is s'. a misft when some
people are clothed with It. t' tno
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

ylA XIII the Files Now and Keep
disease away. A DAISY Fly KILLER
will do it. Kills thousands. Lasts all season.
Ask your dealer, or send zoe to n. SOM
JERS, $50. DeKalb Ave-. Brooklyn, N. x.
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

The friend who takes your part
sometimes forgets to return It
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

asa Do You Use Eye saIveRz jan
Apply only from Aseptic Tubes TO
Prevent Infection. Murine Eye Sa1ve In
Tubes-New Size Csc. Murine Eye Lq-
uid 25c-50c. Eye Books in each Pkg.
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

All the rules that glitter are NOS
golden rules.
The Penn's Grove record., 1911-05-12

tressing Ills peculiar to their sex shouldanet lose sight OF
these facts or doubt the ability Of Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound to restore their health.
Arizona republican., 1911-06-05

now, then at last upon our roadway as on His own, will shine the glorious sunlight of the everlasting Kingdom, and the tired but devoted soldier of the cross who has run with patience the race that has been set before him, will find his reward and his rest iI the in finite peace and benedictiOn of the eternal Christ.
 And now ladies and gentlemen of the graduating class. a word of counsel and congratulation to you at this inn portant milestone in your life's jour ney which you have now reached and will soon pass. I need hardly remind you that the great profession you are about tO enter ranks among the nOblest and highest Of all. in it's fine Oppor- tunities for service. In the plastic and formative years of their life, the youth of this commonwealth and this country come under your influence. More than you can understand does the future of Arizona depend upon the way in which
Arizona republican., 1911-06-05
An Alleged Conspiracy.

The Washington correspondent of the Los Angeles Express reiterates the fear he expressed recently that it is not ordered of the fates that Arizona shall be admitted to early statehood. He believes that the recall of the judiciary was seized upon by the enc mics of Arizona as a rallying point in a campaign against admission; that it is the purpose of the republicans Of the Senate to prevent the adoption of the house resolution and to insist upon such conditions of admission as Arizona cannot accept, the purpose being to leave statehood hanging in the air not only to the next regular session, but forever, so far as the present enabling act is concerned.
 We do not thing that such situa- ton as the correspondent thinks he has discovered really exists at Wash ington.
 It must be clear that if it was the
Arizona republican., 1911-06-05

Ed Howe of the Atchison Globe says: An sixteen-year girls are alike in two particulars-they are all good looking and never have a cent" The siXteen-year- girl is not com monly suspected of burdening herself with ready money; or of hoarding the country's cash to such an extent as to affect disastrously the money cen ters. Yet by what impertinence. we discovered that she is penniless. His broad statement may be based on his isolated experiences at soda foun- tains
Arizona republican., 1911-06-05

set purpose to exclude Arizona, the Mann resolution, requiring only that the recall of the judiciary be elimin- ated from the constitution would never have been offered.
 The adoption of that resolution by the house would have left the alleged against Arizona without any pretext at all. It would, more over, have weakened the opposition in the senate.
 If there is such a conspiracy. the democrats of the house have furnished it food to feed upon and grow strong.
Arizona republican., 1911-06-05

as elsewhere and In everything else. The gospel of work is the gospel which he breaches. The lazy and the self in- dulgent are but cumberers of the earth, and in the kingdom of heaven, can they have no place.
 Third, we are to follow Christ in the road of suffering and pain. He was man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" We live in a world of sin and evil It is weak and unmanly for us to complain. to shut our eyes and not to face this fact. It is a mighty mystery. We grapple with it, but cannot explain it. It has its interpretation in the life and purpose of God. Some day. stand ing face to face and no longer looking through a vlass darkiy, it wiil be re- vealed in the eternal sunshine of Gods presence. God pity the men and the women who do not suffer Shallow and superficial must be the lives of such men and women. It may be our destiny to endure physical pain, to suffer loss of fortune and friends. to feel the heavy weight of sin, which is the most awful tragedy in human life. to have bright and magnificent hopes break in fragments at our feet, to suffer the limitations of a narrow and restricted career, to be unable to take our place beside the workers of the earth. to be baffled in our highest and nobl,st ann bitiOns If Christ himself was made perfect through suffering and Obedi- ence, how can We who seek b be His disciples. refuse if called upon to tread the winepress of human suffering, as It was one trod by His divine feet.
 The sadness Of the world, i,s awful suffering and its terrible sin. the out come of mans foolishnesS anl weak ness must rouse us, must stir our hearts with a heavy pang, must sting and penetrate our whole nature We must feel them as our own, if we are to be of any real help to the struggling and heavy-hearted and, it may be. sin laden brother or sister by our side, who. without our assistance would sink forever beneath the engulfing waste of a hard and relentless materialism, through which the vision of the spiritu- al world can no longer penetrate. In this way the life of the crucified Son of God and Son of man will come to us with a richer and deeper meaning than we have ever known before.
 In self-denial in toll, in suffering. must the true disciple walk. as did his Master and his Savior Jesus Christ.
 Let us remember always that We can not serve both God and Mammon, and unrighteousness, truth and fasehood, honesty and dis honor. In Gods kingdom there can be no half-hearted. no divided service. All our powers and energies must be con secrated to the one service of following Christ Only the highest aims must become our own. If, with largenCss Of purpose and of mind, with integrity, with earnest and consecrated love for God. our Father, and man, our brother. with noble zeal and divine enthusiasm in all our work and life with Unselfish labors and patient suffering, it may be. we shall follow in the path If Christ
Arizona republican., 1911-06-05

Continued on Page 3
Arizona republican., 1911-06-05
PHoENX, ARIZONA, JUNE 3, 1911
The Great Mining industry.

inc Sreat Mining Industry.
 The governments experts at Wash jngton make the official announce ment that Arizona has wrested first place from Montana and now stands foremost in the world :n the produc- ton of copper
 But it is not in Arizona alone that the mining business is pros notwithstanding the compara- lively low price of copper. One hun dred and twenty three mining com panies have reported to the Mining World their dividend payments for the present year-most of the dis bursements on dividend account were in May. The Mining World has also compiled a statement of the total dividends paid by these 123 companies since their incorporation, and the total amounts to the stupendous sum of sSI15g7,3O4.
 As the Mining World graphically puts it., If mining really needed any testimonial to convince the skep- tical that it is one of the greatest and most profitable of American in dustries. it is furnished in the dividend reports"
 When the companies participath 3 in these great disbursements are taken into consideration, some idea can be arrived at as to the prominent pat the mineral industry has had in the achievement of Americas industrial supremacy
 It is of interest to know that of the various metals, copper has been the greatest factor in dividend earnings, for with only 23 copper mining con- panies participating, over two-thirds of the SSH. 7.3O4 was derived from the profits made from the red metal mines.
 Of the $35,S52,064 paid in 1911 ty 115 American mines and works, the United States contributed S23.355.577 Canada S47S9,595 and Mexico B. .322. .549. The balance, S5,2T9,343, was contribu- ted by the six metallurgical com panies.
 During the present year the S5 prop critics, classed as gold -silver-lead zinc producers. have paid to shareholders in dividends. sI6.6I5.27S, with the Goldfield Con, as the largest contribu- ter with s3.55g,09S. Tonopah. a silver producer largely, is. second with ssOO,- OOO
 The 23 copper properties cOntribut- ing to the 1911 total have disbursed s13,S97,443, with Anaconda-under its merger-leading with s4,220,OOO. Sup erior & Pittsburg, which ranks second with s1,2S9,S21. has only this dividend to its credit and it was made in clos ing up business prior to it's being taken over by Calumet and Arizona Utah copper is third with s1,I55,12s
 Eight securities holding corporations. whose interests are centered almost entirely in the copper properties, have paid to their shareholders this year S6.599.159 of which amount Amalga- mated contributed s1,53s,S7S and Phelps, Dodge & Go. s1,123,365.
 But little less than the dividends declared by the securities holding cor poratiOns is the declaration of six metallurgical companies, which during the present year, have disbursed S5,279.343. American Smelling &s Min ing Go. leads with s2,750,000 with United States Smelling Co. second with S1,2O1, ,5S6.
Arizona republican., 1911-06-05

General Viljoen. who is to establish 1t there on his arrival The men who are breaking it now are not the kind of men to finger in any vicinity ap- preached by the army of justification. The dream of a socialistic republic has ended.
Arizona republican., 1911-06-05

The announcement is made that the farmers of Kentucky expect to har- vest a record breaking bluegrass crop. The contributing causes are doubtless the night riders and the tobacco trust.
Arizona republican., 1911-06-05
WEATHER RECORD.

Record of temperature, rainfall and state of weather as made by the Y. $. Weather Bureau, at a. m. noun tain time yesterday.
 Stations Temperature. Rain. Weather
The evening world., 1911-12-23

Mr.. Jarr Secures a New Angle
On The Christmas Present Game.

Rangls all came in one by one.


Mr.. Rangls all came in one by ons
What did you get for Christmas?"
asked Mr.. Jarr Of these. II got . neck
tie." said Mr.. Rangle.
6 did l." said Mr.. Muller.
Bepler admitted he had gotten two.
Every man present. in fact. had gotten
Christmas In the neck.
Jus adjusted a vivid red one in the
bar mirror and smiled for the frst time
In some days and remarked that mo.
body had nothing on him.
IT'S hard to give you anything" said
Mr.. Jarr to Gus. What good would II
do you to give you a bottle Of case
goods or a box of cigarsT"
II could put 'em In stock, couldn't ~"
asked Gus. Don't I have to nay for
my goods? Them's the very things 70
give a nan In the liquor business. ana
you fellers can 20 as far a. Won like 7"
Don't you think a nice watch and
The evening world., 1911-12-23

q the subway to meet him.
! Hundreds and hundreds OF men poured
from hat station. All the men In the
neighborhood must have come home
but there was no sign Of Ted.
crossed over to the drug store and
looked at the clock. Half past 6, l
couldn't believe 1.-THE had never been
late bafore, To make sure l walked up
the block and looked into every store
that had a clock, They all showed prac-
ticaliy the same time,
Then I became frightened. Suppose
something had happened to him, There
couldn't have been al accident on the
subway because people were arriving
regularly.
l was getting cold and hungry and
utterly miserable when a Mr.. Lewis
came up the steps. raised his hat and
hurried on home, Hut, ~ he turned. |
saw him smile to himself.
knew he was thinking what Q silly
picture | msdc-a brand new little bride
waiting for her errlns husband lmme-
dis,ely | decided TO 20 home.
crept IN very quietly q OF my
things. l was framing up Just what I
would say to him when he came In.
Then suddenly the door opened,
lie took me In his arms and kissed me
before | had "A chance to say a word.
I'm awfully sorry that I'm late. Kit
ten" he began. ''but / met a man I
haven't seen In Ave years and We had q
drink together"