davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
One WOman'S Experience in Au.
tomato Housekeeping.
Not Bit Of Bother for the Modern
House Wife as Mechanical Labor
Saving Appliances Are
Now Applied.

London.-The modern woman de,
mands, above all else, that her time
or the greater part of it-shall be her
own. She insists on freedom to earn
her GWn living, to acquire culture, or
to educate her children and be a com
panion OF her husband, and therefore
the modern house must needs keep
itself.
This # will not do if the vexed do
nestle servant question is continual
ly to the fore, and some women are at
last grasping the great comfort of let
ting mechanical labor saving applian-
ces do their work Tor them. l hap
pen to know one of these present day
women, says a writer in the Daily
Mail. She is married and has two
children. but she is busy every day
with many interests outside her home.
Yet her house is better managed than
any l know
Some days ago she showed me over
her dwelling, and let me into some
Of her work-and-worry saving secrets.
My wonder box is packed with in
sulating material and lined with steel.
The childrers nurse o. l merely cook
our dishes on a gas stove for few
minutes, then pop them in here, and
go out and forget about them. When
] come back in the evening they are
cookeds and hot-ready to serve, in
fact. The children's meal is put in
earlier in the morning and is ready
by midday. Delightfully."- simple, isn't
it?"
On the sideboard were several de-
vices for producing breakfast with the
least possible effort. This meal was
always cooked on the table, learned,
An egg steamer, a chatting dish, a
coffee percolator and an electric ra-
diator for making toast were the most
prominent items.
In a corner of the room stood a
small electrically worked vacuum
cleaner which made light of the toll
some business of sweeping and dust
ing, The floors, which were all lin.
oleum covered, we're washed with the
aid of a self-wringing mop.
A porcelain anthracite stove occu-
pied the hearth, and over this my
friend waxed regretful. II hated to
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
The Bryces and GouId-Decies Wedding

Decies and her daughter, Hon. Mrs.
Wilkerson, bore down upon the capital
for nice little visit with the former
naval attache of the American en-
bassy at London and Mrs Gibbons.
When the visitors arrived they were
promptly and fearfully Toasted after
noon and evening-at the homes OF
smart society, at the country clubs,
and, incidentally over to the White
House they journeyed one pleasant
afternoon and drank FIVE o'clock tea
with Mrs. Taft. Next thing everybody
knew the DoWager Lady Decies was
dining over at the British embassy
Now the story goes that the ambas-
sador didn't go to the wedding because
he isn't fond of wearing his gold-laced
clothes. Mrs. Bryce, who has naive,
ly frank enjoyment of the glamour ana
glitter of ambassadorial prominence
and such internationally glorious
international events as the Gould-De'
cies wedding, likes nothing better
than to get properly fixed up" and be
among those present" and she was
MT pleased bit when the am
bassador shrugged his scholarly shoul-
ders and thinking how much more
comfy he would be sitting at home
with a nice well-thumbed book on his
knee, stopped pat in Washington.
However, Mrs, Bryce like the wise and
obedient wife she is, put her glori-
Gus raiment and contented herself with
reading the newspaper accounts Of lne
great event,
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
Statehood Advocates Invade Capital

fend those who are sticklers for up
holding the dignity of the judiciary.
The Arizona men say a good judge
who doesn't become inoculated with
corporation and trust microbes has
nothing to fear from the recall, but
that the official life Of a Judge who
leans away from the law might be
shortened by the recall provision, and
it was to provide for such cases that
it was made applicable to the judiciary
as well as other offices.
The gist Of the Arizona argument to
a cornered congressman was:
After our recent election 80 per
cent of the people voted to approve
the constitution. We know what we
want. We know what Arizona needs.
Why don't you let US have the consti.
tuition we made and approved? Let US
attend TO our own affairs-we are
plenty able to do it,"
1t was a strong committee that
came on from Arizona, though not as
large as could have been brought, for
business men all over the state Yolun.
teered to join the invasion Of Washing
ton if it was thought their presence
would help.
The committee was carefully select.
ed from among the volunteers and
instead of chartering a special train
and making a iunket out of the trip,
each member came on his own ac'
count, regarding it as a serious bust.
ness matter, rather than a pleasure
iaunt
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
Railway Mail Clerks Make a Protest

order, maxim the hours now required.
Official notice has now been given to
the clerks that on the lines where
their work is heavy continuously for
six days each week the standard Of
the service hours shall be considered
as six hours. 1t is announced also
that credit for overtime will be given
to clerks who do terminal work at
either end Of their runs, or extra work
that requires them to remain on duty
beyond the standard number Of hours
With this arrangement the clerks gen
orally have expressed themselves as
quite satisfied. There are 14,483 rail
way postal clerks assigned to road
duty. The total average Of time on
duty on trains and at terminals is now
six hours and thirty-two minutes.
The postoGice department insists
that it has had no desire to put addi-
tional burdens on the men in the serv-
ice. In explaining the attitude Of the
department, Second Assistant Post
moster-General Joseph Stewart, in
letter to the postmaster-gcneral says:
owing to the peculiar character of
the railway mail service, it is impossi-
Bile to fix a certain number Of hours
that every railway postal clerk shall
work every working day. There must
be sufficient elasticity in the service
to adapt it to the varying conditions
of operating trains"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
EIobson Again Predicts War With Japs

I'VE will be struck" he declared
"and when we are-gentlemen may diff
fer with me as to the time, but l firm
ly believe it can be counted in months
on the fingers Of my two hands-we
will find ourselves practically power
less. The nations of the world will cal
on us to give up the war and not con
tinue to disturb the peace Of the world
lust as we did with Russia in her wa1
with Japan. Our own financiers will
demand that we end an apparently
hopeless struggle.
But we will not give up. We will
fight on, angered and humiliated, until
1t becomes a mere question of re-
sources. Ever since we went into Ha
wall, ever since we took possession OF
the Philippines, declining to let Japan
in there with us; ever since their citi
zens came to this country and received
from our people the treatment that the
difference in race made inevitable
Japan has been preparing for war with
us,
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
CANADIANS CALL FOR GIRLS
Hundreds Storm Agent Who Is In Lon
don Seeking Brides for Young
Farmers of Northwest.

Iondon.-Thomas Howell, the Cana
dian immigration agent who is con-
ducting a search throughout England
for brides for the stalwart farmers Of
Canada, has given up searching, and is
really trying to lose himself, as brides
to.be in a yeritable army not content
with bombarding him with tons of let
ters, are here by the hundreds seeking
personal interviews.
There are touches Of humor in some
Of the letters received by Mr. Howell,
who has been overwhelmed with invi-
tations to teas and other functions
dear to the feminine heart.
One of the letters received is from
young woman in a London work
house, who, with unconscious irony,
writes:
please come and see me. can
make you quite at home"
Women, however, are not half so
anxious as the men of England to 90 to
Canada. It is estimated that fully 150,-
900 English mechanics, farmers and Ia
borers will leave for the Dominion dur
ing the coming season.
BY direct route from London nearly
1900 passengers viii start for Canada
in March, and in addition, during that
month about three thousand immi-
grants will reach that land Of promise
via the United States.
The phenomenal immigration is at,
tributed to the general prosperity and
immense advance in railway construc-
ton in Canada Fully 80 per cent. of
these immigrants are skilled workmen,
and nearly all of them have means
upon which to subsist for months after
their arrival
There Is no doubt that immigration
is being stimulated by English imperi-
alist organizations which expect
through these sturdy Britons to neu.
tralize the effects of the great rush
from the United States to Our Lady
of the Shows"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
HOUSE KEEPS ITSELF

give up my beloved open fire." she
! confessed. But it went dead against
my principles, and it made more work
than all the rest Of my household put
! together This stove is the next best
thing, for at least can open the front
and toast my toes at it. 1t only re-
quires stoking every twenty-four
hours, and it makes no dust"
When I demanded to see the kitch-
en-, she told me there was none. "A
kitchen only exists for the comfort
Of servants" she reminded me. "I
have no servants, so why should l
have kitchen? Come and see my
workshop, though. And she led me
into a small square box of a room,
containing only a sink, a gas stove,
a table, and two cupboards built into
the wall OF that coal devouring,
work producing monster, the kitchen
range, there was no sign.
But hot water?" ! protested. How
can one live without constant supply
of hot water?"
/ was told to put my head inside
one Of the cuDboards, which I did,
but ! withdrew it again hastily The
temperature was at least so degrees.
The cupboard, 1t appeared, contained
an automatic gas hot water heater,
from the tank of which small pipes
extended and circled round the walls.
They met again in large pipes, one Of
which carried off the water to the
kitchen sink, the other to the bath.
room.
The gas burners under the tank
were lighted each morning and
burned at full power for ten minutes
or so, till the water became heated.
Then the burners lowered themselves
automatically to mere pin points of
flame When the tank was emptied,
or partly so, it rehlled itself with cold
water, and the burners popped up
again and heated the tankful once
more.
"And the cost of keeping house by
your methodist" l asked.
"The initial cost-of furnishing-ss
perhaps rather high But think our
weekly bills would make most house
keepers open their eyes," was the an
sWer.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
MAN IS MOTHER OF CHICKEN
Pennsylvania Farmer Hatches Out
Little Chick in His Bed by
Warmth Of His Body.

Pittsburg, Pa.-Oscar Heinze, a
farmer of Clifton, holds the human in.
cubator record.
Little did he expect when he took
his bedtick to the barn recently and
filled It with straw that he was TO
become parent to a chick.
The straw happened to contain q
hen egg, but Heinz did not know. For
a couple of weeks he slept on the
newly-hlled mattress before he was
aroused by "Cheep! cheep! cheep!"
He lighted a lamp and searched the
room, but could not find the source Of
the sounds, which had become louder.
Finally he was convinced the
"cheep, cheep" came from his bed,
and with a knife slit open the tick.
Inside, near the surface, was a lively
chick, which the heat of his body
had hatched from the egg.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

brains for a plan Of escape from them
Is with him still. Palmer, who was a
born comedian, was also fleet of foot.
One day on scout duty he was cap
tured by two Confederate soldiers.
! When his captors started, one on
each side of him, he recited every
joke and comic verse he knew.
The previous spring, when "secesh"
talk was on every tongue, he had
spoken at the usual school "exhibi-
ton" giving a prepared lecture on
the paramount topic in the character
istic humor Of that period. 1t was
nothing but idiotic dribble that came
to him as he trudged merrily toward
the Confederate camp at Centerville,
Va, bound for Libby or Andersonville,
but it is still fresh in his mind. This
is the speech he delivered:
Ladies and Gentlemen: ! have riz
to give you warnin' and make some
what of a speech. say that a crisis
has ariz and the wheels of govern
ment has stopped The machinery
needs greasin' and the biler is busted,
and we are like bob-tailed ganders
floating down the stream of time. We
have had our harmony disturbed and
have been driven on the quicksands Of
the Potomac. We have threatened to
dash everything into splinters, but we
will eventually pick ourselves up be-
fore we are gone goslins. The at
trapian knocks the adjacent Joyous
regions Of violent voice and whispers
in our ear for peace, but you give us
no peace. The peace has gone flick
ering through the gloom of the other
climate to aid the miser in his dun
geon and the great Alexander who
fitted the battle of Hunker Bill. and
who, with agony, despair and frantic
shrieks, cried, oh, graVy!' Peace is
for the southern confederacy and 7
don't care a darn, for she's whole
horse and a time. sure"
Palmer's harangue, accompanied bv
sweeping gestures and heroic poses.
threw his hearers into snasms NJ
laughter. They didn't know lust what
he meant, but it was funny The ora.
tor resumed:
Already / see you travelling in
solid phalanx, with shouts that make
the earth ring while you come down
upon your opponents like a thousand
OF brick on rotten pumpkin. Blood
has got to be poured out of your op-
ponents like soap suds out of wash
tub, and every one OF them that has
a soul as big as the white Of a mig.
gers eye has got to fight, bleed and
die for you. The north may don their
rusty regimentals, grease the locks
of their guns, put in new fints, grind
their old scythes into swords, mount
their little airy horses, twelve abreast.
blast the little rocks and blow I'D all
Gods creation, but still Jefferson
Davis will remain"
This is as far as young Palmer got
in the muddle of nonsense. His aud
itors were frequently doubled up with
laughter
Tney came to fence on the edge
Of q wood, and the two southerners
climbed over, confidently expecting
their prisoner to follow. He, however,
hung back and instead of mounting
the fence broke Off his speech, jumped
back suddenly and darted into the
woods like a deer. A few Intellectual
bullets followed, but before night he
was back in his own camp.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

A legislator in Missouri who was a
friend both of HoXsey and Johnstone
has introduced a bill, inspired by the
tragedy of their deaths, making it an
Offense under the head of attempted
suicide" for an aviator to ascend high
er than 1000 feet, and requiring a bond
Of $4,000 for birdmen, as a guarantee
that they win not violate the law. A
penalty Of five years in prison is pro.
vided. But it is little likely such a bill
can pass, however much lovers of the
sanctity of human life may desire it,
says the Baltimore American. Expert.
ment is always accompanied with reck-
lessness, and while aviation is in its
experimental stage, no amount Of
threatened punishment will deter eX.
perimenters from using their own lives
as they see fit in its service.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
ErIendahIp,s stronnest reat.

In the terrible engagement at Fort
Donelson, an orderly sergeant, seeing
conferedate point rifle at the captain
OF his company, threw himself before his
beloved officer, received the bullet in
his breast, and fell dead in the arms
of him he had saved The brave fell
low had been reared and generously
treated by the captains father, and
had declared, when enlisting, that he
would be happy to die to save the
life Of his benefactors son. The af-
festion shown by Damon and Pythias
,did not exceed that of this namelegs
soldier on the battlefield Of his loved
country.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
LUXURY OF BARsERINe.

There is reason In this barbarlna
habit although Il is one Of luxury
MANY may ask why go 20 the shop and
perhaps waste ten or twenty minutes
for ones turn and then pay ten or iif
teen cents, and perhaps a tip, for a
something one may have az home AZ
comparatively no expense Of money or
time? The explanation is easy says
the Cincinnati Enquirer, At the shop
men wait in the habit of years, for a
particular chair, and while waiting dis
cuss the latest news or gossip, There
is restfulness In the waiting Then
come the luxury Of the chair at a Sc.
lected angle, the kindly glance and nod
from the favorlte barber, the soothing
admiXture of comment upon the
weather and events with the lather
and the dextrous application of the
keen edge, TO the end Of a "close
shave" then the hot towel and possi-
bly, the massage Yes, this Is a habit
OF luxury but one justified by the
ages, from as far back as the days OF
tine prophet Ezekiel down through the
centuries In which The Arabian
Nights" celebrated the function 20 the
times of Edward ". Of England, who
in 14Gl Incorporated the Company OF
BarberSurgeons; to the days when au,
thor, poet and musical composer rec.
ognized the humorous features Of the
trade that once was a profession in
that 1t united with 10 that of the chir,
urgeon. The habit of the barber chair
is as old as some Of the hills.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

Once more the didn't know it was
loaded" joke has had a deadly result.
A young man in New York city picked
up a revolver which he says he
thought was empty and playfully snap
ped the weapon at his friend and room
mate, and the latter was killed instant.
ly. The frenzied youth ran out of the
house and surrendered to a policeman,
and is now locked up on a charge Of
homicide says the Troy Times. Prob.
ably no one believes him guilty of any
Intentional crime But even though
acquitted of such a purpose, what a
lifetime Of selfreproach lies before
him in consequence of that hasty and
lII-adVised bit Of humor! y
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
FUNNY TALE FREES SOLDIER
Civil War Veteran Relates Unique EN'
perlenee During War-captors
Laugh and He Runs.

Amateur public speakers or persons
who have difficulty in remembering
'impromptu" remarks would do well
10 consult Capt. 4. R. Palmer OF Chi
cago, commander OF Meade post, G. A.
R.. for an infalliblo cure for such for
getfulness. This would be his
recipe:
Get yourself captured in war and
entertain your captors with run
stories until you have them on IL
guard, so you can escape, Everytht
you say viii be stamped indelibly on
your mind" The rule has held good
FOR fifty years for Captain Palmer
Every word Of a senseless jumbis he
repeated to amuse a couple Of Con-
'ederates in 1861 while he racked his
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
Doubles chlIdren,s SAVINGS.

New York;. w. Ellsworth, phil
anthropist of this city, is doubling
the savings Of all children under 16
years of age in his boyhood home,
Hudson, Ohio, to encourage their
thrift. The only condition is that
children must go to school and earn
the money after hours. Each Is ex-
pected to write him how the money
was earned.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
DEFEATS ICE TRUST

loaf of bread, and does not burst
the receptacle.
Warm weather is also dlscourag
ing, as the ice that has already frozen
in the dishes thaws Jerome says
they can literally see their money
melt away. Each morning the ice
made during the previous "a hours is
packed into large dry goods boxes and
sawdust is packed around the cakes
Jerome says that he will build an Ice
house In the spring
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

The better class Of Chinese in New
York are trying to eliminate queues
and loss" worship from their up-to-
date life. Evidently, the most hide
bound of the ancient nations is sur
rendering to modern civilization with
emphasis.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

Precious stones are being imported
Into this country in large quantities
this year, not counting the ones that
have been missed by the customs in
spectors. 1t is likely to be a great year
for tiaras.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
rraIn Has Race WIth ceer.

Paris, Tenn.--For ten miles, or
more than half Of the distance between
here and Mckenzie, a Nashville, Chat
.anooga &c st. Louis passenger train
raced with deer. Passengers crowd
ed to the side of the train and cheered
the deer, which was finally distanced.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

THE college man." AYERS Professor
Small, 'fs the ideal man in an organi-
cation to better conditions" History
has proved, also, that the college man
is the ideal football coach.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

Professor Haber's new pro
cess for utilizing atmospheric nitrogen
for the production Of ammonia is re-
ported to be so successful that syn.
thetic ammonia is about to be placed
on the market.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

Strange that the family dispenser Of
the kitchen door handout has never
been called upon to give expert testi.
mony as to whether or not the down
and-outer can come back
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

Maiden Aunt-Do you know, Dolly,
it's very solemn thing to get mar
ried?
Dolly-Yes, auntie; but l should
think 1t was much more solemn mot
70 get married.--M. A. P.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
And There You Are.

A New York man who was unable to
sign his own name left million. But
If he had had an education he might
have left billion. And then again he
might not
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
Arlzona,s Institutions.

Arizona maintains O prison, an Rsy.
lum for the insane, an industrial school
and home for aged and infirm pio-
neers, a university and two normal
schools
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

In one of the Washington clubs 67
different kinds Of cocktails are served
BIT seems as if human ingenuity might
he put to a better use
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
Proper WAY to Die.

George-Nlissus, the little pigs be
oil dead!
Misses-Lawks, Cargo! How did
they die?
George think they died 'appy,
missus.--Th Sketch.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
More Of a sinecure.

AN easy job will suit me, senator, "
How about winding the clocks eV'
cry week?"
Il might make that do. But whats
the matter with tearing the leaves 0
the calendars every month";"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

Pajamas for women doing house
hold work is the latest. Possibly we
shall soon have kimonos for everyday
wear in blacksmith shops.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
Nothlna Much.

Madge-Then you really believe in
nothing?
softhead--I believe in anything
can understand
Madge-What a frightful skspIc
you must be.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24
Developing Siberia.

Englishmen are making considera.
BILE progress In Siberin. especially in
establishing abattoirs and reirigerat.
ing plauts.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-03-24

An oversanguine contemporary says
~the hobble skirt is passing" In this
locality it seems to be clinging