Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1911-04-28
WHISPERS VS.. Badness.
fGIn,,. c,iA.. 49,

fSioux City JournaLl
A heart to heart debate over the
relative undesirabilfty Of ,yhiskers and
badness ought not to be one sided.
but in the long run the proponents Of
the lilacs ought to win the decision
from fair minded Jury.
Against facial alfalfa It may b
argued that It is insanitary. All our
best scientific authorities agree that
microbes like to ride on wlliskers Tho
example OF the whiskered man who
will persist in chewing tobacco makes
a long yellow score against his side.
The allegation that hair on the face
is neither useful nor ornamental can
be supported by some Ornamental talk.
The proprietary remedy men have no
trouble in convincing che ladies to this
effect, and making them part with
their good money to get rid of IL.
The contention that the proprietor Of
luxuriant crop OF whiskers must ~
either barred from indulgence in the,
delights OF the first course at dinner
or from polite society can. be sup-.
ported with no small degree Of .vigoe.
II man happens to be interested IN
kissing he is put to the trouble Of
going to the side chow and inviting
the bearded lady out to dinner: This
item goes without argument Ali -
which is only scratching. the surfa0o:
OF the general case against whiskers.
but 1t is sufficient for present pnr.
poses.
Against the billiard ball pa&e ~
main indictment 10 the comfort Il Ak-s
fords the common or house vaFte4y *
fly, with corresponding dtscomfort 20
the owner And there is q suspicion
OF insanita ton in this connection. too.
AS a rule fly has no business on .
bald head unless there IS something
there that has no business there.
The prediction that any fly will dis-i
play for any bald spot at any tins
stirs suspicion that all Is not a. Il 49,
pears on the polished surface. But
enough OF this perhaps unjust SUI.
picion. It is in order to pass on "a
the annoyance to which a bald headed
man who also happens to be near-s
sighted In subjected when he pic,s
out seat at the theater from which.
he can see what IL TRANSPORTING on tihe
stage. Incidentally no presentation
will be considered even partially COM
plete that doesn't include the bald
headed mans troubles with the barber.
Attic the two sides Of the de.
bate, as thus hastily and inadequately
presented. may leave room for ass
sumption that the bald headed man
may be shade the more contented Of
the two, the argument that decided
the issue In favor Of whiskers II stili
coming 1t Is found in the undeniable
showing that the man who wears
whiskers does 80 because he likes EN-.
while the man who doesn't wear hair
on his Uranium eschews It solely
because there il no possible way In
which he can acquire It, There never
was a man of whiskers who WASN'T
besieged by all his friends. his wife
and his wife's relations, to consign
them to the waste basket. Ninety
nine times out of q hundred he refuses
to even consider the plea. He declines
to meet reason with reason. He sim.
ply shifts scornfully and sticks to The
superfiuous hair. On the other hand.
the bald headed man spends Q largo
share OF his time and considerable
portion Of his money trying 70 S9et nd
OF his Conspicuous lack It = an im,.
possible achievement. and this oughe
to be learned early In the gamA bn4
1t never IL. The manufactures keeD
putting new tonics and renewers On
the market, and the 1nhappily Aa1A
keep on buying and trying them