davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
COW GOT HER CUBS MIXED
Sukey Was . Good Animal Until She
Went Into the Banking and
Junk Business.

Greensburg, Pa.-If Thomas Morri.
sons pet COW hadn't neglected the
dairy business for the banking and
Junk business she would still be In
the land of the living somewhere In
this vicinity.
It was a find Of II cents that start
ed her on her downward career
three nickels and two pennies which
a barn boy had placed in line on the
top OF fence to g'oat over. and then
forgot In the face Of some greater ex-
element. Sukey nosed around and
swallowed the coins. Her taste for
metal thus whetted she proceeded to
swallow number Of wire nails. pull
Ing them out of the fence. and wound
up her repast by taking into her sys.
tenn Ave feet of steel wire. 1t was the
wire that tangled her up. 1t insisted
In sojourning In all three stomachs
At once. Sukey found her wires were
crossed when she tried to chew hel
cud, 30 she died. An autopsy was held
and the concrete evidences Of the
facts here related was found In hel
little "tummy'-in Ill three Of them
In fact.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02

Frank PAIL and William Ehlert o,
Anaconda. who helped form hunt
h.S party recently. are telling story
which sounds well for the kind OF
jack rabbits grown In the sagebrush
hereabouts. The story Is told on
Charlie Laler. another Anacondan. and
as he does not deny It It must be true,
Ehlert and Later are great hunters
and when Frank PAIL joined them
here they were given the tip that they
might see some rabbits the size Of
which they had never dreamed Of Aft
or having bagged fifty odd speci
mems Charlie blaxed away at an old
jack. wounding II slightly. whereupor
It turned and In rage made for the
hunter. who dropped his gun and shin
ned up tree. After awhile the call!
OF the freed Charlie attracted Pah
and Ehlert. who came to the rescue
and bowled over the enraged jack
which was chewing the tree down Il
q determined effort to get at his tor
mentor.
Mr.. Laier was nearly frozen whel
rescued. He says that he will hav
the head mounted.-Twin Bridge Col
respondence Anaconda Standard.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
FROM SLOT MACHINE
One May Buy Stamps and Insur.
ance Policies.
In New York Z Machine viii vend
Your Dinner and at Coney To-
land Palms Are Read
Automatically.

Kansas City, Mo.-"Two stamps.
please" traveller at one of the ho-
tells said to the mail clerk. Instead OF
selling the stamps the mail clerk
pointed to a machine few feet away
THAT machine will sell you stamps"
And the traveller dropped a nickel In
to q slot and out popped two 2-cent
postage stamps.
1t is very simple and operated on
the order Of q gum slot machine
There are two places in which to drop
coins. In both the amount must be
scent piece. One receives for his
nickel either four 1-cent stamps or q
pair of 2-cent stamps
In the same room Of the hotel there
Is slot machine which sells thou
sand dollar accident insurance policy.
effective for twenty-four hours, and
the price Is five cents. While some
persons doubt the wisdom Of buying
this machine vending insurance, there
Is one point In Its favor-One's time
Is not taken by an agent.
AS soon as the nickel goes into the
machine there Is the clicking Of 8
spring which stamps the exact time
the policy Is issued. A handle Is
turned and out comes the policy. The
person getting the policy must write
his name on the stub and separate II
where 1t says: TEAR here" The stub
on which the name has been written
must be poked into a slot and then
the insurance Is effective.
Automatic machines are almost as
old as civilization, but each year sees
some new machine added to the list
The stamp and insurance vending de
vices come under the new classified
ton. as do many others. For example
on Twenty-third street, in New York
there Is what Is known as the Auto
mat. restaurant where, soup and al
most any food desired may be pur
chased by contributing certain sunni
| In a slot machine.
For several years there has been {
shoe shining machine where one maj
have his shoes shined. There Is wha
is known as a mutiphone, which play
twenty-four distinct Edison records
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Change of Heart


The family Of Judge Winters had
known the family Of Colonel Bellaire
for years and years. That meant that
rfod Bellaire and Agnes Winters had
Known each other ~ boy and girl.
The fathers hadn't settled It over
their wine and cigars that there
should b = marriage. In fact. the
two young people didn't take to each
other very we'll. It was only in after
years. whom Fred had finished college
and Miss Winters WA in society. that
there was any feeling stronger than
acQua1ntanceehip.
Il was not necessary that young
Bellalre should choose = profession.
He had been left money. and he
drifAsd along - other rich young
men do-tho Observation-Disclosures
-golf-autoing and the races. And
a tho intervals he spent his time ad-
uiFlng Agnes Winters and falling in
love With her. On her side. she liked
hin but she had NO stronger feeling
She was Z bit Of . prude and had old
tAshioned notions.
no WOuk0 nave STOOD Detter IN ner
estimation had she found him with
carpenters apron on and saw In his
hand. He had asked for her hand, and
without giving her time to reply had
asked her to think over It for week.
RI have thought" she said when the
week had expired and he was back
for his answer.
~And-and you are going to decide
against mel" he whispered a. he read
her answer In her face.
n am. and want to give you my
reasons. You ara a butterhy-a frit-
terror. You have accomplished moth
ing. and you have nothing In view.
Aside from tho society journals. you
are Z nonentity."
III you say 60 to tho south pole I'm
OIL" stoutly replied Fred.
"You wager on the races and other
things. You play for high stakes at
the club. You have the gambling
spirit In you"
But almost always win"
Then it's even worse. You've got
money. but you throw It about In the
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
FRENCH BEAN COFFEE,
! CENT A POUND

It will grow in your own garden.
Ripening here In Wisconsin In 80
days. Splendid health coffee and cost
ing to grow about one cent = pound.
A great rarity; . healthful drink
Send US today Is cents In stamps
and we will mail you package above
coffee seed with full directions and
our mammoth seed and plant cata-
log free. Or send US 81 cents and We
add 10 packages elegant flower and
unsurpassable vegetable seeds. sum-
cient to grow bushels Of vegetables
and flowers. Or make your remittance
40 cents and we add to all Of above 10
packages OF wonderful farm seed spe-
cialties and novelties. John A. Salzer
Seed Co.. 1872 S. 9Th St.. La Crosse. Via
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
GOOD Jokes
A cRITIoUE.

did not like the heroine.
did not like the lover.
l did not like the ballroom scene
Depicted on the cover.
l did not think the ''atmosphere
Was what you'd call "convinc'ns@
Observe. my attitude II clear
I'm in no mood for mincing'
The plot. methought. was rather @'''
The characters were pale. o;
Although the author strive to wr'~
His toll did not avail. O.
Before I'd read a hundred woros'
Ye gods! fell to yawning:
Who seeks ambrosia. finding curoA
No ray Of promise dawning.
Doth peevish wax. Just what i dio-
But that was shortly ended:
Unto the floor best seller" slid
The nap l had was splendid!
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02

A young man and . maiden were
betrothed.
Dearest one" said the young man.
Il love thee. So great Is my devotion
that II another should but cast low
Ing glances at thee a fearsome thing
would happen"
what might 1t BET" yuoth the
maiden.
Even that would kill him. Dost
believe me?'
Nay" quoth the maiden.
May? But protest to thee. VOW
swear. that II another should make
love to thee his life should pay the
forfeit BY yonder moon swear!
Dost believe me now?"
Nay" quoth the maiden.
Now. what meanest thou? Why DO
lievest thou not that would kill the
bastard villain?''
Because" quoth the maiden. "thot
wouldst not know aught about It.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Music Hall Losing Vogue.

tie in the last few years. Some have
gone back to drama Others have
been run partly with drama. Others
have gone over to picture entertain
ments. The picture houses have not
Immensely added to their own by new
buildings.-London Stage
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02

most reckless manner. You are sense
1oosly extravagant. They tell me you
have I'VE autos"
I'll sell four Of them II you say So"
That would make no difference.
must toll you that some Of the things
you DO border on loaferism."
you don't mean It! Have you heard
that Ill stumbled. one night. and up
st Z peanut cartf"
you are learning to box, sir!" an
1ounced Miss Winters with great
severity.
"Oh. But you-you-?"
"yes. air. call that loaferism. Why
should = gentleman learn how to
pound any ono with his lists! No
gontloman II ever attacked. Should
he b.. he carries Z cane to defend
himself with. or he can threaten to
call the police. Neither your father
nor mine has had to resort to such .
practice - boxing"
Vred Bellaire could have told her
that be had seen tho Judge and the
colonel knocking each other about al
the gymnasium at so years of age. and
having Z lot Of fun out Of It. too but
be knew there WAS moro coming. and
~ was making ready for It.
And lastly" continued Miss Bel
ualre, II ia your name in the pape
the other day among the list OF at
tendants at a club where prize figh
vas held. It's there In plain print
The next thing you will be figuring "a
one Of the principals. do not car
TO be the wife of prize fighter"
"Oh. come. now" appealed Fred
III you understood these things 70
know"
But ! don't and don't want tt
When you enter the ring will 1t be a
Battling Bellaire.' or what?"
Agnes. you are altogether too g
we're and old4ashioned have see
the mayor Of the city at club fign
and he enjoyed every round Of /
Your own father"
my father Is not under discussio
cir. and there Is NO moro to discuss.
must answer no to your proposal al
hope that you will make change
<ho better in your hfe."
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
HONEST CONFESSION
A Doctors Talk on Food.

There are no fairer set OF men on
earth than the doctors, and when they
ind they have been in error they are
usually apt to make honest and manly
admission of the fact.
A case In point Is that OF a practi-
toner, one Of the good old school. who
lives In Texas. His plain, unvarnished
tale needs no dressing up:
Il had always had an intense preju-
dice. which can now see was unwar-
rantable and unreasonable, against all
muchly advertised foods. Hence. l
never read line of the many ads Of
Grape-Nuts. nor tested the food till
last winter.
While In Corpus Christi for my
health. and visiting my youngest son.
who has four OF the ruddiest, healthi-
est little boys l ever saw, l ate my
nrst dish Of Grape-Nuts food for sup
per with my little grandsons.
became exceedingly fond of 1t
and have eaten a package Of 1t every
week since. and find 1t a delicious. 70
iresning and Strengthening food. leav-
ing no Ill effects whatever. causing no
quotations with which was for.
merry much trcuh'cd), no sense OF
iunness. nausea, nor distress of stom
ach In any way.
mere Is no other food that agrees
win mo so well. or sits as lightly OF
pleasantly upon my stomach AZ this
does.
am stronger and more active
since began the use Of Grape Mutt
tnan have been for 10 years, and
am no longer troubled with nauses
ana Indigestion" Name given b.
rostum Co.. Battle Creek, Mich.
Look In pkgs. for the famous little
BOOK. Tho Road to Wellville."
There's a Reason"
Ever read the aAeve letter. A uev
20 epRenru from time to time. ne,
interest.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Defining II.

$50 the authorities have decided
that a mans home Is where he most
~ sleeps. have they!" asked Mrs.
Mrs. Getathim. with glare at her
hapless spouse.
They have. my DEAR" he replied.
meekly.
Then the next time you go to reg
lister. give the church as your home.
she said. with an emphasis not TO be
mistaken by a guilty. covering soul
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
An Extenuation.

An Extenuation.
Livery Stable Proprietor - I'm
afraid we shall have to cast him.
Murphy. He's about worn out.
Murphy wad not be sayin' that
Barrin' the wakeness he has in the
legs an that touch Of cataract. forbye
triflin' suggestion Of the staggers
Its a grand horse he'd be for the
funerals-if 'twere not for the colo'
Of 'um.-Bystander.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Ono bv Father Time.

Before entering the gates OF 1911
Father Time discovered a nick In his
scythe.
What Is that doing there?" asked
the Foolish Questioner
Why. my boy" responded Father
Time, Il guess that is what you would
call the nick OF time"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
The Brazen Culprlt,

An eastern man was charged with
stealing Christmas kiss without mis-
tletOe sanction and asked the Judge II
he couldn't testify in his own behalf.
60 ahead" said his honor.
We'll, all have to say u.s." re-
marked the brazen culprit. that no
matter what you fine me the kiss
wasn't worth it,"
Whereupon the plaintiff tainted and
the Judge said ten days."
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Settling George.

mo. George" she said in her grav-
est tones, Il cannot become engaged
to you, and I am very sorry to see
you show this mad infatuation. Re
member that l am much older than
you are. and believe me when l say l
will always be an elder sister to you. ="
You amt hardly any older than
me-" declared the disappointed youth.
II am Is. George. while you are but
IA. And remember. George. that to
q woman a year is q lifetime"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Consolatlon.

With a sigh she laid down the
magazine article upon Daniel O'Con-
nell. The day Of great men," she
said. rs gone forever"
But the day Of beautiful women 10
not." he responded.
She smiled and blushed. Il was
only joking" she explained. hurriedly.
Western Christian Advocate.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Both Ends.

BILL wonder why somebody doesn't
invent a match a fellow could light
on either end?
ing. It's all right for a fellow to
scratch a match on the sole Of his
shoe. but who do you suppose wants
to scratch one on his bald head?-
Yonkers Statesman.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
The Modern View.

no M006TU Wow.
Il simply wasted the money | spent
to see my son through college"
why, every one says he Is a thor
Ough classical scholar"
What does that amount to? He
never even was mentioned for a place
on the football team"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Il hear your wife has sold he

Il hear your wife has sold her par
rot"
Yes"
I'm surprised. thought she was
very fond Of the bird"
"She was, but 1t developed a ten
dency not long ago to insist on hav-
ing the last word. and that was too
much"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Easy to BE Good.

Miss Smith-Now. Madge. tell me.
which would you rather be-prctty or
good?
Madge tpromptly)-l would rather
be pretty. Miss Smith; can easily
be good whenever like to try
London Punch.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02

Your friend Is rather indicate -
remarked Mrs. Wombat SAYS he
gave her husband some panetelas for
Christmas"
What's wrong with that?"
II wouldn't think Of mentionin.
sleeping garments in public"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Mutual Sympathy.

80 the young surgeon you told me
Of is engaged to a telephone opera
tori"
Yves: theirs Is a case OF mutual
sympathy"
What do you mean?"
why, she made a practice OF cut.
ting folks of. and he. Of cutting them
up"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02

Mrs. Crabshaw-You never put your
arm around my waist a. you used to
Crabshaw-You see. my dear. you
keep moving your waist up and down
20 wouldn't know where 70 find Il
Judge.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Didn't Apply.

DIDN'T Apply.
Mr. Jones (crossly)-Mary. this
isn't good bread.
Mrs. Jones Cndignantly)-Bread?
want you to understand that that's
cake.
Mr.. Jones (sarcastically)-Oh. cake.
is It? Then l most sincerely apollo
gize.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Wavslue Communlno.

Adam Zawfox-Pard. how does sofs.
enin' Of the brain act on teller when
he's gettin' It!
Job Sturky-You don't need { WORRY
bout that, ole scout You'll never rit
Il.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
His Cruel Terms.

My water pipes have burst: and now
The plumber knots my anxious brow
By saying he won't come until
l pay In full last winters bill.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
A Memory Aid.

links IL the only man In the once
who has not once made a mistake In
the new date"
HAS he a good memory"
Not so much that as he Is . crap
player"
How does that help him."
Because 1t Is natural for him to
have 1t come eleven"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Take This to Heart.

Some men work harder trying to
get out of doing a thing than 1t would
take them to do it-Exchange.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
A Black Outlook.

What makes you so blue?"
my wife is attending = white
SALE"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Know elnas7

There 10 no doubt that Bings II =
great optimist."
why do you say that?"
1.-THE fact that be thinks we'll Of
himself proves 1t conclusively."
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
fears tho Wurst.

Fears the Wurst.
A maid who had . poodle pest.
Which out Of sight did drop.
Displays q deal of interest
Anent the sausage crop.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1911-05-02
Big
Assets

-Four hundred thousand peoplo
take q CASCARET every night
and rise up in themornine andca
them blessed. Ifyou don't belong to
this great crowd of CASCARET
takers you are missing the greatest
asset of your life. ~
cAscARErs roc bex for . weeks
treatment all druggists. Biggest seller
n The world. Million boxes month
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1911-01-19

in due time. We suggest the reader look
for it.
Prevarication No. s. "Post spends
nearly a million a year in advertising and
relies on that to keep out of the news;
papers the dangerous nature Of the fraud
he is perpetrating on the public"
The Postum Company does pay out up
wards of a million a year for trade an
nouncements. Newspaper men believe our
statements truthful or they would not
print them. Large numbers of newspa-
per men use our products.
They are capable of telling the public
whether or not we .bribeo them:
It may have escaped notice that we
did not "bribe' that particular weekly.
No. 9 states that the amount of the
verdict will "be devoted by the weekly
to exnosing fraud"
This is almost real humor.
We have two suits pending against the
weekly" total, $500, 100000.
We haven't "devoted' the sum to any
particular purpose yet.
Item 10 is a discovery that wheat
bran is a part of Postum.
But the criticism neglected to mention
that for years every Postum package an
nounced in plain type that the outer COW
ering of wheat (bran), made part Of the
beverage.
They ignorantly fell into a trap here,
not knowing enough of food value to know
that Taxa iastase" the article used by
physicians the world over for Starch in
digestion is made from wheat bran"
So we use that part of the wheat berry
because it contains the element needed
| fO 1oyyo1On tho valuable l;oe%oeo ~
ufacture. Good Postum is impossible
without this part.
These s~elf-appointed critics do make
some laughable blunders through ignor-
ance, but-be patient.
Item II is an illustration of the squirm-
ing and twisting of the sensational writer
delivering distorted matter to his read
ers.
While On the witness stand Mr.. Post
testified to his studies in Anatomy, Physi-
ology, Dietetics and Psychological re-
lating to the preparation and digestion of
food. Asked to name authorities studied
he mentioned six or eight from memory,
and commented IN some. clinical expe-
rience covering several years in annual
journeys to Europe.
Now notice the distortion. Copy from
the printed criticism.)
"He POST pointed out a pile of books
in possession of his attorneys as the very
ones he had read"
(Notice,-"the very ones he had read,'
leading the reader to believe that they
were the only ones.)
"Did you consult the books from these
editions?" was asked.
"From those and various editions" an
swered Post.
The attorney "picked up book after
book from the pile and showed the title
pages to the jury,-all except two had
been published since 1906"
This is an example of distortion and
false coloring to produce an unfavorable
impression.
The facts are Mr.. Post ~purposely intro
duced the latest editions that could be
obtained Of prominent authorities to prove
by them the truth of his statements re-
garding appendicitis and the analysis Of
brain, also the latest conclusions in re-
gard to the action of the digestive organs.
These works are:
Truman Physiology, by Raymond.
Physiological Chemistry, by Simon.
Digestive Glands, by Pawlow.
Hand Book of Appendicitis, by Ochs-
nsr.