davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21

when he hearo the splash from the
faucets.
But tonight his spirit was broken. As
a lamb to the slaughter he permitted the
Amateur Wife to lead him n his doom
and deposit him without struggle in the
hated tub.
For ten minutes nothing but the sounds
Of a mighty scruobing. interrupted by soft
coaxing. reached the ears Of the Post
Graduate Husband
Then ne stole upstairs.
Perhaps the most detected sight on earth
is a long-haired dog in the thrOes Of bath
ing
Woof-woof. now a lank streak Of melan-
choly. gazed reproachfully at his treach-
erous master He had not forgotten the
perfume-not for minute.
Hello, woof-Woof began the Post
Graduate Husband ingratiatingly. Is he
having a nice bath?'
Woof-Woof turned slowly and gently
released himself from his ministering mis-
tress. Then. as If to show he had no hard
feelings in her direction. he began 10 lick
the soap from her hands.
Here said the Post Graduate Hus-
band impauently. you're not strong
enough TO make any impression on that
animal, Give the dog to me-
without a word the Amateur Wife
handed him the soap and with a slightly
derisive smile walked away.
His baths overt she said.
The Post Graduate Husband asserts that
His wife whistled as she walked off.
/ The Amateur Wife declares that she
cant whistle
| At any rate. woof- Wool shook himself
| violently and. scattering hair sOapsuds
/ and tepid water in every direction, leaped
/ out Of the bathroom.
The Post Graduate Husband. drenched
from head to foot. stslked triumphantly
! after him
There he exclaimed. 1T was a tough
/ job, but. at any rate, I've got him clean
\ for the first time in his LIE
| Copyright, 1911. by the n. Y Herald Co.
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21

have an heTbliks taste when cooked.
Sweet mustard resembles our own caun
flower. Tulip bulbs IN baskets are for use
In salad with garlic "on the side but Il is
a t0regOne conclusion that most Amer
leans would prefer theirs in red or yellow
flowers after q wee taste OF the unhappy
mixture. The elephants' TRUNKS of large
and elongated shape correspond 10 our
own beets, while the popular water
sprouts used IN 50 many OF their dishes
look like chicory salad Bit gone wrong.
great deal Of horseradish Is used in their
cooking, a. well a. onions. peppers tur-
nips and ginger root.
The beverages seem 20 consist Of tea.
rice, wine and few American drinks that
have been adopted. The sweets are sticks
Of sugar cane. rice cakes and candles.
dried and sugared fruits and roots
CHANGING around Al the hard. uninyiting
food, one realizes that there might have
been a reason for the wording OF the old
Chinese saying which 4 guest Is supposed
70 have used. Farewell. most favored
% heaven. Nay the gods preserve your
honorable teeth"
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21
A Smile Dispensary

Inspired by American example, a pro-
fessional worry killer. an earnest apostle
OF cheeFfulness has set up in the smile
dispensing trade in a tiny office within
a stones throw OF the Victoria railroad
depot in London A London paper says
the probability is that as result Of his
efforts they viii soon have a thriving
smile club in the metropolis, with a set
OF jolly maxims for members, calculated
20 keep demon worry at bay.
This lively innovstor is a university
graduate Of Is, endowed with q private
fortune. a country mansion and a heart
full Of optimism. He declares he is not
out for the dollars a. all and will be well
satisfied IL he can pay expenses At pres
enJ he Is running the cheer-up office
singie-handed, but already one or two doc
tors and lawyers have rallied 70 the cheer
ful apostles side, and when disheartened
LOndoners get 70 hear Of the smi-s-b be-
getting bureau the apostle expects TO en-
gage several meFry-hearted eOadjutors-
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21
Coolies as Pack Horses

"A Chinese eoois." said a returned mis-
sicnary. will carry l05 Wounds forty miles
day over difficult and mountainous
roads His pay viii be cents, and on this
pay he viii live yell enough; eggs. Ter sx-
ample, costing only Jesnts dozen IN IN
land China
There is no porter on earth equal 20
the Chinese eOolie Ths coolies VINO carry
sBsehuen tea into Tibet travel over snow
ehoked mountain passes. Tooo feet above
the sea. with loads Of az pounds Of com
pressed tea On their patient bAokA
salt. coal ealioo. copper and taA are
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21
Dyspeptic Philosophy

A man with a long head is worth two
with long faces.
Eve fell and it wasn't because she wore
hobble skirt either.
You have to probe pretty deep to find
the probity Of some men.
The noblest work Of God is man, or, at
least. some OF him.
Many a man gives the devil his due
when he isn't 50 charitable with his neigh
bors.
The trouble with our opportunities is that
50 many Of them come marked c. o. D.
Riches have wings. II you don't believe
it, invest in an aeroplane-
When age comes knocking at the door a
woman sends word that she is not At
home.
There are few things in life more diff
cult than for a girl to attempt 70 look IN
tellectuai when she Is chewing gum
A woman may not really be able to love
more than one man at q time, but she GER
tainly can make a good bluff at it.
Many a man complains that he is mis-
understood when he really ought TO be
thankful for H.
The worst thing about = theory is that
it seldom pays dividends
The love OF money that is the root Of all
evil is really the love Of other peoples.
No man thoroughly believes IN himself
unless he has full confidence in his digss-
ton.
There are Just a. good fish stories as
has ever been caught
The greatest drawback 20 long life Is
that Il necessitates old age.
Only a very rich man can afford 70 dreas
as though he didn't have one cent 70 rub
against another.
The early bird gets the worm, but on the
] other hand, the early worm merely SET
] aafau
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21
Ter Husbands Voice Only Pity for Incompetent and Help
D. 49, ~ less Womanhood
BIZ AMERE MAN

For several days Woof- Woof the angel
collie had denied himself TO all callers
or rather he had been denied 70 them.
When the neiehbors called they asked
ln vain for the light Of the household.
woof-wOof. the Post Graduate Husband.
sternly declared. had been banlshed to the
under worid-the coal cellar. In fact.
-He has had such a bad cold that we've
been afraid 70 give him a bath the ANA
teur Wife explained. "Efe needs one" she
added candidly
Dr. stan. tha family physician. who
dropped IN unprofsssiouaIly one evening
after dinner. clamored loudly for his fayo-
rite, and in view Of the high esteem in
vi ich the visitor was held BY the Post
Graduate Husband he was permitted G.
glimpse and Incidentally a sniff Of the ban
tshed collie
The next afternoon the local druggist e
delivery boy left a small parcel. wrapped
in red crepe paper. at the home o. the
Amateur wife II was fancifully tied with
red and green Fibon- and the dainty pack
age Law on the haI table when Her Hus-
band came home that evening. For His
wife By the exercise Of vast self-restralnt
had postponed opening IT tin his return.
Wool woof who was permitted to ap-
present shifted eagerly at the mysterious
present which he seemed to divine was in
tended for BAN.
"A the Post Graduate Husband started
TO open the parcel woof-woof rose on his
hind legs and barked at il. Then with his
tail az half mast he stalked disgustedly
away
one wrapper after another was removed
and finally DR.. Stairs present was re-
veaied-a eauds sample bottle Of perfume
which the Post Graduate Husband greeted
With ruars of laughter
Come here woof-' he commanded. as
he removed the stopper. Here's pres
ent for you. Come get your present
And before the Amateur Wife or Woof-
Wool either could voice a protest he had
sprlnkled the entire. contents OF the bottle
on the collie's back.
woof- woors dismay was piuful to wit.
ness He whined-he rolled on the carpet
he dragged his pointed nose along the
floor Rubbing II frs with one and then
the other drsmatic fore paw. Finally he
crawled mOurnfuly behind a screen and
gave hirHsef up-to suIky and real despair
4 Meanwhile the Post Graduate Husband
laughed uproariously Notwithstanding ths
furious rolor which Tanned IN His Wife''
face. the fire daring from her eyes.
You think mats funny. don't YOU sh'
said Indignantly But it's cruel, fiend
ish, Don't you know how YOU hate tha
stuff aud how I simply loathe IT! / won
have my poor doggie going around makinl
himself and syery body else miserable fol
the next week. m g0lng 70 give him 1
bath now. and II he gets pneumonia anC
dies II viii be ali your fault"
She ran upstairs as she spoke and tn
next moment WOof -Woofs ears were as
sailed BY the sound he dreaded most OF
sarth--that Of water running in the batl
tub.
Giving wOot- Wool bath was usually
sssESs much az an ordesl- Not syen. lumI
81 sugar would coax him I'D the Stair
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21
No Time to Fool

An Episcopal Missionary IN Wyomyng
visited one % thc eutiytng districts IN
his territory Tor the purpose o. conduct
iug prayer In the home Of lAEgs family
not conspicuous for its pieU- He made
known bis intentions 10 The woman 81 tAs
house. ant she murinurad vaElely thaE
'sbe go out and see-- sra WaE eng n
returuins aae ans a tiresouae Eln the
missionnrT ugna % tae dOoT snd ealse
with slulz inpanenos-
Areas yCa oumins ~ u-u1 yUa oaTs
Anyl1azlE ahuzl TuzE $3.50
sozis.- rello1 ne hla1 - ths dauflE
Cou ~ a-cta-d- we saFslE 81 t1ns
ts foll via or sulIs Nhsr IA heas an
sg-armin' - lprtnnnf1'a
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21
Isn't It the Truth?

Al a charity baza- an elderly gentleman
was approached by q charming Young
woman who urged that he take a chance"
on a meerschaum pipe
I'D be slat 90 take a chancs Il
smoked said the old gentleman pleas
antly.
oh. bu, you can learn exclaimed the
young woman. DO take a chance. only
a quarter"
No. thank you, said the old gentleman
Tobacco doesn't agree With ne Why,
I'd have no earthly use for that pipe"
Take a chance. any way" persisted the
young woman There isn't the Ieas'
probability OF your winning IT, you know
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21

carried By coolies thousands OF miles The
express eoOlis. with is light load Of l65
pounds, swings along A. the rate OF
forty miles a day The accommodation
eoons. with leo pounds. does thirty miles.
The various freight coolies. loaded re-
spsctivsly with 30. 80 and 80 pounds. do
twenty. fifteen and ten miles.
Every one Of these coolies smokes
opium hate 20 80 against tradition.
but opium smoking does very little harm
In China Certainly the harm Il does is
infuitssimal IN comparison With the harm
thai strong drink does % us-"
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21

them whether the fairies help them or
not"
is that all Of the story
Yes. ali OF IT, and the Happy Lady is
going to wish you both good Right and a
nice dream to each of you; and I hope
you are going to be very careful what you
wish for, because there Is no telling when
the queen OF the fairies may change her
wisdom"
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21

For trimming every style OF gown, from
the sheerest lawn tub dress 70 the street
g0Wus Of striped wolfe or tussah, black
velvet has never been used TO a greater
extent than Il noticeable this year. This
vogue. which started last summer in Paris
was not expected 20 be 50 diligently FOL
lowed this spring, but even the eccentric
combinations Of material which had their
origin At the fashionable midsummer races
srs nav Ia h seen in the windows OF the
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21

American shops A goWn c. Waite EN-
bruidered bEtiste b finisheu with a four
teen-luch -berder u black s-ivet. there -
q velvet girdle and the sma toque and
parasui walsh Uompiete this rather incon-
gruous costume are also % black yelvetf
Already ths idea % this costume has heeN
modified b. be Aurcric4n wc=-2 - gc-'
ducing The border on the sEirt 20 some
SIX iuchss n cepth- and makins ouiT the
eroua 81 lha haG o. peirei-ana a. ancs
Omaha daily bee., 1911-03-21

In order that The GdvsrrSeF E,AE ga ths
best results TOR mo1-g nEestaA. ~ must
reach The buysr By IN nost dhect aad
reliable ehAhnsl. Ths Be- h thAa ehAaaaa
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
SlONIkER MILLS TIMES.

Crops are looking fine since the rains.
 The last few nights have been real cool for July. Uncle John said he liked to have frozen last Monday night.
 Mrs. w. $. Nugent has been very sick for several days, but we are glad 10 learn that she is improving at this writing
 NIT. Charley Parker is wearing quite a smile On his face over a fine baby boy which came to live with them a while. Mother and babe are getting along fine. So il is grandpa and grandma now instead of Uncle George and Aunt Mary.
 MT. Ben Thomas of Jericho, passed through our neighborhood last We'd nesday en route to Forrest City
 The ice cream supper was well at tended at MT Warren Harris last Friday night. The young folks re- port line time and plenty of ice cream.
 On last Wednesday evening Mir. F. l \. Perry and Miss Thurston Ross were united in holy matrimony. Squire F. W. Sulcer of Palestine, of iiciating Immediately after the cer- emony all present were ushered into i the dining room where tables were filled with the bounties of this earth, and everybody enjoyed the occasion to the fullest extent. We wish this happy couple much joy and long and happy life.
 Wild Bill No 2.''
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
New Law Firm.

Little Rock, Ark, July 17.-Repre- sentative A. D. Hurst of Washington county, arrived in Little Rock this morning from his home at Fayette- vile en route to Forrest City, his fu- ture home. MT. Hurst represented his county in the last two legislatures and was one of the floor leaders. He has formed law partnership with NJ. B. Norfleet, well-known former Memphian, who is now residing in Forrest City.
 Above special is the first news of the newcomer that we have had, and we have not been able To see Mf Norfieet to confirm it, but, taking if for true, we offer a most hearty and cordial greeting and welcome 10 Mr Hurst. and hope he will find this town to his liking and that the new firm may do most lucrative practice
 LATER-Mr. Hurst arrived last week and is now being welcomed by who have the pleasure.
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
NEW CASTLE TIMES.

Crops are tine in these parts. The gentle rains that have been falling were just what we needed Crop re- pHI~ rom ail directions are encour aging. Some are laying by or through. ! There i> iesS grass and weeds on the fafms al tbis tiae of year than was ever knaWn in our history.
 Mr F. |. Horton has purchased a new supply oi dry goods. and k ex. per'iilg them lt any time
 Il. \. Horton has his eyes wide open and 1n an expected tour Il rough a lortian of the adjoining county We wish II. \. success.
 Mrs F. l. Horton has just returned ffom l visit with relatives and friends III Mississippi, where she accompanied Miss Lula Nichols They report a lovely lime and say the two weeks passed almost as quickly as day NIT. Charley Lewis of Forrest City extend. ed them thv courtesy ef bringing the ladies eaf from Hat city in his automobile. reaching here just in time for sumptuous dinner that aaaited them.
 Mrs Nichols and Dr. .ad Mrs. Oliver gave an ice cream party Satur- day night in honor of Misses Lula Nichols and Lizzie Rawlison, and Mr Lee Horton. The young people report good time
 Our New Castle Sabbath school is the best ever known al this place. Also on every Sunday night prayer meeting is very good.
 Protracted meeting will begin at Forrest Chapel on July 2s. Every body is invited. Bros. Green and Sul- livan will assist Bro. Henry May with this meeting. We are looking for a marvellous services.
 Rev. Webb has almost hospital at his home. Rev. !. I. R. Milton is quite sick yet, as is also Mir. Webb's baby, in addition to three cases of whooping cough. We hope the good people will be Q. K. soon.
 Success.
 Received to late for publication last week-Ed.
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
CALDWELL TIMES

MT. l. NJ. Geeters, of Texarkanna, has been visiting NIT. G. Royal, of near here
 A host of young people gathered at MT. Cliff Browns last Saturday even ing to enjoy the ice cream party, and all present seemed to have q big time. The same evening MT. Ernest Gray ave an ics cream supper for the spec ial henetit of the older people.
 We learn that MT H. Bynum has had his pump engine at work.
 MT F. $ Royal is suffering from | painful wound on his upper lip caus- en by being struck by flying stick of stove wood. The lip was split open from the nose down.
 We had good rain in this section the 'ast of the week. which gave this locality line season. Crops generally are good 'fhe rain just fallen k the best We have had in twomonthS.
 Mr. and Mrs. l.. S. Royal made a flying trip to Forrest City tue latter part of the week to visit friends and relat ives
 Mrs. Rynum and daughter passed through Caldwell last Sunday.
 NIT. l. R. Browning paid our town Il visit one day this week aud his horse threw him. His injures are not serious. Subscriber
 Received too late for publication last week Ed.
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS
In st. Francis County for Week End.
 ing July 26, 1911.
Reported by St. Francis County Alb.
 stract Company.

l.. ]. Pugh and wife to A Bird 1 l4 acre in nv l.4 Se IA sec. 3o, [ n, r3 e SlO0.
 N. B. Nelson and wife to Robert Steel. W l2 nv l.4 sec. g. II, 1 e. S20O.
 A. !. Vaccaro and wife to ] E. Fer guson, part of lot , in block II, For rest City. s500.
 Crittenden Lumber Go. to R. NJ. Meek and Laura L. Meek, l-2 sw l-4 sec. g, 6n, 6 e. sl4So.
 Clay Wadell to Pauline W. Walker, nv l-4 SC 1.4 sec ,, and 1-2 sw l4 sec. ,, | , n, Be. sl.
 James McCutchen and wife to Bertha Lane, lots II and l5 in block of the Russell x McCutchen addition to town of Widener. s2S00
 James McCutchen and wife to H. c. Starcher. lot 20 in block ,. town of Widener. $40
 John Calling and wife to Frank N. DeRositt, sw l4 sec. i. , n. r e. $s00O
 J. E. Mallory, guardian, to II. r. German. und. l-2 interest in S5 acres of land, SC IA sec. p. | } n, r 3 e, and in 10 acres in sw l-4 sec. ?. } n, r } e. S67O
 H. P. German 10 Carrie L. Mallory, und l-2 interest B acres in SC l.4 and 10 acres in sw l-4 sec. p, ] n, r 3 e. S670
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
.A Reader Cures His Constipation n-Ty It Free
 Simple way for any family retain the good health of all its meb.,,

The editors of Health Hints and Questions and Answers" have one question that is put to them more of- ten than any other. and which strangely enough. they find the most difficult to answer. That Is How can l cure my constipations"
 Dr. Caldwell, an eminent specialist in diseases of the stomach, liver and bowels, has looked the whole field over. has practised the speciality for forty years and is convinced that the ingredients contained in what IS called Dr. Caldwells Syrup Pepsin has the best claim to attention from constipated people.
 It's success in the cure of stubborn constipation has done much to dis place the use of salts. waters, strong
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
Deafness Cannot be Cured

by local applications as they cannot reach the diseased portion of the ear There is only one way to cure deafness and that is by constitu- i1onal remedies. Deafness is caused by an in- iiammation of the Eustachan tube When this tube Is inilamed you have rumbling sound or imperfect hearing and when it is en- tlrely closed deafness is the result, and unless the inflammation can be taken out and this tube restored to its normal condition, hearin 2 will be destroyed forever: nine cases out of ten are caused by eatarrh which is nothing but an intamed condition of the mucous surfaces.
 We will give one hundred dollars for any case of deafness (caused by catarrh) that can not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars free
 F. J. CHENEY X co, Toledo. O
 Sold by druggists, foe
 Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
Escaped With His Life

'Twenty-one years ago l faced an awful death" writes H. B. Martin. Port Harelson, s. C. Doctor said l hrd consumption, and the dreadful cough l had looked like il, sure enough. l tried everything l could hear of, for my cough, ..and was under Georgetown, S. c. for a year, but could get no relief A friend advised me to try Dr. Kings New Discovery. did so and was completely cured. l feel that l owe my life to this great throat and lung cure. It's positively guar anteed for coughs, colds and all bron- chial affections. DOC and Sl. Trial bottle free at all druggists
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28

cathartics and such things sv,n
 Pepsin, by training the stomach auP aP bowel muscles to again do their ,,aIs ala naturally, and with it's tonic ;narsdiA iA ents strengthening the nerves br;nn. about lasting cure. Among strongest supporters are Mir LIZ Graveline of 98 Milwaukee Ave f,.h nn troit, Mich. and Mir. J. A. Vernon :, Oklahoma City. Thousands of h o,b.oi ol of both sexes have written to h. Caldwell telling of gratifying resni,. It can be obtained of any drupg;s, a, fifty cents and one dollar bottle if you want to try it first a free cam
 pie bottle can be obtained by writino the doctor.
 For the free sample address Dr w
 B. Caldwell. 402 Caldwell build;ns Monticello, III. s'
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
Power and Pumps Tor Irrigation.

Engines using low grade oils. Simple in construction, Economical in opera tlon-SiZes loo II. r. and smaller Centrifugal Pumps for every service Write today for catalogue and estimate Of expense compared with steam Prepare now for next season.
 Address-Charter Gas Engine Co. Sterling. Ill.
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
For Sale.

One four-room cottage on one acre ground; ornamental fence in front; good cistern water, nice garden and fruit trees; all in good repair. Will sell cheap for cash. Apply to Wright Lewis, F. O. box 4S4, Forrest City, Ark. i23-2t
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
Those who Take Foley Kidney Pills

for their kidney and bladder ailments
 and for annoying urinary irregulari-
 ties are always grateful both for the quick and permanent relief they af- ford. and for their tonic and strength
 ening effect as well. Try Foley Kidney Pills. ]. T. Sanders.
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
Hay Fever and Summer Colds

Hay FeNer and summer tOIds must be relieved quickly and Foley !. Honey and Tar Compound will dc l., F. M Stewart, 1884 Wolfram street, Chicago, writes: ''l have been greatly troubled during the hot summer months with hay fever and find that by using Foley's Honey and Tar Com. pound get great relief Many otl1ers who suffer similarly will be glad G benefit by MT. Stewards experience. ]. T. Sanders.
The Forrest City times., 1911-07-28
Foleys Kidney Pills
What They Will Do for You

What They Will Do for You
 They will cure your backache, strengthen your kidneys, cor. rect urinary irregularities, build up the worn out tissues, and eliminate the excess uric acid that causes rheumatism. Pre-. vent Bright's Disease and Dia- bates, and restore health and strength. Refuse substitutes. 8.
 J. T. SANDERS.