davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25

shouId he noted that this public roads ohce-a
branch of the United States department OF agrlcur
ture-is doing most important work for the cause
of road Improvement throughout the length ana
breadth of the land For thing laboratories are
maintained at Washington, specially equipped TO
ascertain which of these are best aoapteo u
use in any specified locality or under any gwen con
dtions Even more important is the WORK OF the
government bureau in building stretches of model
road
Under this plan of building model roads TO serve
az object lessons in the possibilities and Dement'S
of highway improvements Uncle Sam SENDS MS
force of engineers and experts into any community
which seems to need to be aroused regarding gooo
roads and with their own helpers or by means or a
force Of workmen recruited in the ne1ghborhood
thew construct a mile or two miles of just the sort
of road that is ideal for that particular district
How beneficial these object lessons are IS proven
bv the fact that thousands of miles OF good ROADS
have been built in various parts OF the country tns
past few years with these governmental sample
roads" as patterns The showing made by rural
roads before and after" treatment by the govern
ment road doctors has prompted state legislatures,
county commissioners local boards OF trade, farm
ers' oranges and other bodies to appropriate money
for a more extensive good roads campaign in To-
calities that thus had taste OF the benefits,
and in some states, notably Delaware, wealthy
men have paid out of their pockets for long
stretches of improved public roads for the use OF
the whole community.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25
Remarkable Fish.

Il thought you said there were fish
around here" said the disappointed
sportsman.
There are replied Farmer Corn
tossel But they are experienced
fish. Moreover, they're kind and con.
siderate."
Il haven't had a nfbble"
We'll, you don't think they'd bite
at that brand-new fancy tackle, do
you? They'd stand off and admire it,
but they'd never take a chance Oh
gettin' it mussed up
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25

enthusiasts who were looked upon until a short
time ago as "cranks."
This is not saying, mind you, that there is not
much yet to be done TO bring the highway sys-
tenn Of this great land to the point where it ought
to be and to maintain it there. We are still
very long way behind most Of the countries of
the cd world-notably sister republic of
France in the condition of our roads. But that
Is perfectly natural, not because the foreigners
are any better road builders than we are, but
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25
Found In the Tea Cup

an on the side of the cup, it signifies
a rival in love; if it looks like a bird,
it means news from a distant friend;
if it look like a book, it refers to
friend at some institution of kuuwl-
edge; if it assumes the shape of q
tree. it means that the one who sees
the picture will soon take jour
ney into the country: If two stalks
come ~ogether, 1t means that you
are to meet a mar: If it looks like
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25
.|)O(uIH
81 ~ f@&
ACTIVE INDIAN RUNNER DUCK
Small Breed, Noted for Its Egg Pro
duction and Termed the LeShcrn
of the Duck Family.
CBy GEORGE e. HOwARD1

THESE ducks came originally from
india; hence the name Indian. Tho
term Runner" comes from the fact
That they literally run instead OF
waddling like most ducks.
The Indian Runner is a breed OF
small, utility duck noted for its egg
production, and is often termed the
Leghorn of the duck family. These
ducks have been credited with records
or more than 200 eggs each in flocks
OF ten, and 1872 eggs each in flocks OF
one hundred. The Runners" are ac-
i've IN their habits, are good foragers,
and on an extensive run are able to
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25
Busy Times in Minnesota

Those in charge of digging the state drainage
bitches complain that they cannot keep men be-
cause the farmers grab the aborers to work in the
harvest fields says the St. Paul Dispatch. A Min
neapolis man with automobile tells how ne
shanghaied by those who wanted a machine in
which to ride to and from their work as burglars.
It would though is safe in these
busy harvest times
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25

F there is any field of public
spirited activity in the United
States which stands out con-
spicuous above all others be-
cause of recent progress it is
the betterment of our public
highways. If anybody had pre-
dicted a few years back that the
beginning Of the second decade
of the twentieth century would
see so marked and widespread
an improvement of the public
roads of the United States he
would probably have been
laughed at by all save those few
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25

semblance Of a man fishing with rod
it means that minister will either
oficiate ar her wedding or become
her husband; if she sees an image OF
man with many spots before him it
indicates that her husband will be
rich
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25
PreDarco,

Gracious, what is all that crepe
for?"
gain, and, you know, my husband goes
in for f1yingi"
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25
tain Position Something viii
Take Place.

It is said that if there are in the
bottom of the tea cup cluster of
leaves with few stragglers in front,
it represents a hearse or a funeral.
but if the stragglers are close togeth-
ar, 1t means a wedding II the clus
.er ~ Ie. vas sakes the form of q WON
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25
Cement I ak No. =

P01zZand Cement does
not come from Portland,
Maine, or Portland, Ore
gon, and it was not first
made at either of these
places. 1t is called Portland
because it was given this name
by the Englishman who first
made it. He called it Portland
because he thought it resemblcd GER
tain natural deposits onthe Isle of Port
land in England. Portland Cement is
the fine powder produced by pulver-
izing the clinker resulting from the
burning together of various materials of prop
err chemical composition. In the case of
UniVerJaI Portland Cement, these raw mater
ials are blast furnace Stag and pure limestone.
There are many brands of Portland Cement
on the market, produced by different manu-
facturerS. UniQerJaLis one of the best known
and highest grade Portland Cement5. You
can always tell it by the name UniIerJaIand
the blue trade mark printed on each sack.
Forty million sacks of UniVsrJaiare made and
used yearly IN this country. If you have any
c0ne1ete work to do, you will make no mistake
byusing UnfUersaL Portland Cement UniUer5ai
isfor sale byrepresentative dealers everywhere.
UNIVERSAL PORTLAND CEMENT co.
IL w. ADAMS STREET. CHICAGO
ANNUAL OUTPUT 100000 BARRELS
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25
LADIES CAN WEAR SHOES

one size smaller after using Aliens Foot Ease, the
Antiseptic powder to be shaken into the shoes. 1t
makes tight new shoes feel easy. Gives rest and
comfort Refuse substitutes For FREE trial
package. address Allen s. OlInsted. lie Roy. N. Y
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25
A Nice Distinction.

rs he what you would call a hand
some MANI"
We'll, not handsome enough to pose
for a union suit advertisement, al
though he is extremely gocd-looking
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25
Wifey Knew Him.

Benham| man't remember dates
Mrs. Benham-But you have a
pretty good memory for peaches.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25

Many man who claims to be self
made has a wife who superintendent
the job.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1911-08-25

What some lawyers don't know
isn't worth lying about.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14

the lovely free to-all places. And they
are keen on that sort of thing.
THANK heaven grinncd Henry. Our
cloud has no silver dollar lining.'
In the pleasure of seeing The Numb
sons, tae WNsps had almost forgotten
their WEAKNESS and the low ebb OF their
Resources moreover, they had mapped
out a very diverting and inexpensive
two weeks entertainment, when Numb
son said brisllly NOW see here Hen
ry Host and Wife. we want you to do
just the same as II we weren't here.
i know You glddy city people and the
endless round of theaters and dinners
so necessary to your happiness and
while that's just the sort OF time we
are looking forward to, I'm going to
have 1t plainly understood that / pay
half 1t costs heap and | won't
stand for any other arrangement"
Your money isn't amy good in this
town." declared Henry Wysp 80
you may as wcll sew up your pockets y
Another thing" added Mrs Numb
son. Don't you poor dear people think
you've got to bore yourselves toting us
around to the stereotyped old Points of
Interest. l know you've done it a thou
sand times for out Of town friends and
to be convincing, I'll admit that it
doesn't appeal 10 us one little bit just
let's do all the regular city stunts"
Now where'll we go this evening ~
asked Numbson. biiskly. Lead on
MacDuff9"
before Henry Wysp could lead or
Maepuff" he and isabel held a strate-
gle conference Their combined i'e-
sources totaletl S5.S3. Ii WAS too late IL
make any sort of a raise.
Il thought tonight. at least. they'd
just want to sit around and talk and
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
A LADY LECTURER
Feeds Nerves and Brains Scientifically

A lady lecturer writes from Philadel-
phia concerning the use OF right food
and how she is enabled to withstand
the strain and wear and tear of her
arduous occupation. She says:
Through improper food, imperfect
ly digested, my health was complete
ly wrecked, and / attribute my recov
cry entirely to the regular use of
Grape-Nuts food. 1t has, l assure you,
proven an inestimable boon to me.
Almost Immediately after beginning
The use of Grape-Nuts found graft
flying change in my condition. The ter.
rible weakness that formerly pros
trated me after few hours of work,
was perceptibly lessened and is now
only memory-it never returns.
Ten days after beginning on Grape
Nuts l experienced wonderful in
crease in mental vigor and physical
energy, and continued use has entire
ly freed me from the miserable in
somnia and nervousness from which
! used to suffer so much.
Il find Grape-Nuts very palatable
and would not be without the crisp,
delicious food for even day on any
consideration. Indeed, always carry
it with me on my lecture tours"
Read the little book, THE Road to
MELVILLE" in pkgs. There's reason
Ever read the above letters A new
are genuine, true, and full Of kaman
Interest.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
His Future Expenditures.

Among the most frequent requests
that go to the United States senate
are those asking some prominent
member to give money to charity or
CARNATIONS, hospitals and other phi
lanthropic undertakings. Ono day a
charity worker asked Senator Flint
OF California, who is not wealthy
man, TO give a large sum of money
for a free ward in one of the hos
pitfalls
Il am sorry that cannot comply
with your request" said the senator
gravely; but. judging from the num-
Der OF similar demands that have been
made upon me in the past, have de-
cided that | can promote greater
charity. The vast amount of money
spent on hospitals in this town con
vinces me that thousands OF people
are going to die and be buried With
out flowers. Hereafter | shall devote
my spare money exclusively to send
ing flowers to the dead. The Sun.
day Magazine.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
THE HAPPY MAN.
Social nistinctinn

In some parts OF the south the
darkies are still addicted to the old
style country dance in q big han. with
the fiddlers, banjoists and other mu-
sicians on the platform at one end.
AT one such dance held not long ago
in an Alabama town, when the fiddlers
had duly rcsined their bows and taken
their places on the platform the floor
manager rose.
Cit yo partners 70 de mex dance"
he yelled. All you ladies an gennul-
mems dat wears shoes an stoelins s,
take yo places in de middle OF de
room. All you ladies an gennulmens
dat wears shoes an no stocliin's, take
you place immejitly benin dem. An
yo' baretooted crowd, YOU jos jig 1T
round in de corners. Lippincotts
Magazine.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
No Need to Trough IT,"
In the Woman's Home Companio
Robin LNnde IIartt writes q practic

In the MomanS Home Companion
Rollln Lynde HART writes Il practical
article on Sleeping in a Tent" In part
he says.
You have heard of the summer
widower chained 10 business in town,
he sends his Wife to the mountains or
the seashore-an arrangement more
llattering to his generosity than to her
devotion or ingenuity. for II canvas
villa might keep them together all
summer in the jolliest fellowship mag
Unable. Let them camp, from early
| May To late october, within 10 or 10
] miles OF town.
-Four seasons test convinces mo
| that the merry comfortable, healthful
| life In the woods will make summer
widowcrhood absurd. No one need be
tinlid about trying our kind of camp
| Ing. We don't rough 1t. we smooth
| it,
/! But i hear you ask: How about
when it rains?' Delicious. Patter. pat
ter go the drops on the tents water
proof double top. Il soothing lullaby.
If showers come peltlng down i'm day
time. We stretch out in steamer chairs
before the open fire in our weather.
proof shack and beguile the hours with
books from our Pigskin library
"Or perhaps you are saying: How
about mosquitoes Well, how about
mosquitoes on plaza, and how about
sitting UP late, though cruelty bitten,
waiting, waiting for u bedroom to get
cool enough to enter? The moment the
sun leaves its roof, tent takes the
temperature of the outer air. We crawl
under blankets at 8. with mosquito nets
tucked In under the blankets all around.
We rise at 6. AS mosquitoes keep low
by day, we suffer less from them than
you do.
OR does some one ask: How do
| YOU manage without convenienccso -
listen! Ice wagon, fruiterer's cart.
peddler's van and wagons from village
and grocery and meat shop. all call 1T
our camp. The big grocery store in
town sends boxes of provisions. our
equipment includes an oil stove, "a
fireless cooker. an ice chest. unlimited
Shelf room, a spacious wardrobe and
excellent illumination Consisting of a
big lamp, lanterns and an electric
flash light,) to say nothing of the dog.
AS a receptacle for lcavings. he is
worth his weight in blueberry pud-
| ding"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
Dead Sure.
From the Washington Star.

From the washington STAR.
Representative Swager Sherley, OF
Kentucky, was talking in Washington
about his amendment to strengthen the
pure food and drugs bill.
We must make our laws against
impure food and drugs impregnable,'
he said, 'Or a national state OF Ill
health will be ours as certainly as-as
certainly as"
He hesitated, then resumed.
1T reminds me of a story, story
about Louisville maid servant who
said one day to her mistress:
Might have next Friday a week
off, ma ann
You'll get your usual Thursday
the mistress objected; but. of course.
If it's important
My fiance is to be buried, ma am,
next Friday u week, and l want to go
to the funeral
Your fiance? Buried? Why,
didn't know you had u fiance; let alone
that he was dead.
He amt dead. ma am said the
maid softly.
The mistress smiled and looked re-
lieved
Not dead? Then, of course. she
said. you can't be sure he is going to
die, no matter how ill he may be.
None of US know when we are going
to die. Death is one uncertain thing.
And yet you would predict positively
the date of this mans death and bur
ial. It's absurd of yo;i.
Excuse me. ma'am, said the maid
in low voice. 1T amt absurd. Jim y
,oin to be hung"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14

Henry Wysp gave a sigh of relief
hausting whirl. "a quiet evening at
over at Isabel. No one likes 60 enter
tain friends better than l debut one
bunch after another
And then he noticed for the first time
that Isabel had not relaxed. Her eN-
preston was more strained. If any
thing.
Il suppose I'VE got to tell you" she
said With Il groan, Henry Wysp,
there's more company coming tomor-
row. Laura and Tom Numbson have at
last found an opportunity to pay that
long promised visit. They can stay two
weeks At any other time. I'd be tickled
to pieces, but
Henry opened his mouth twice before
he could ;trticulate: Have we got TO
20 through All that again? Ii it We're
nny one but tho Nurnbsons-"
We can't disappoint the Numb
sons agreed Isabel But Henry,
chepr Up You know what dears they
are and how simple their tastes are.
They'll enjoy anything. After the aw-
fun erinap The last few weeks, and a
Nillion unexpected expenses, have put
in our finances and all your money
tied UP in that new deal is 4 ca!ani-
iiy that they arc coming before the first
Of the month";
"Don't You suppose know it?" asked
Henry. with the masculine dislike OF
hearing the iaorbidly obvious thing.
But" said Isabel. as the Nunlbsons
have never been in this city before,
Why. they'll enjoy just plain sight see
ing famous buildings. parks. monu-
tlents, art galleries, museums and all
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
His Part In tho Proceedings.

Clarence is darby who is as proud
of plotting Mr.. Hillside's costly auto.
mobile as Mr.. Hillside is of owning it.
Well. Clarence" said neighbor. q
saw you in the Taft parade, but you
didn't have the president in your car
! noticed" mo. sir" the chauffeur
answered. II didn't have the presi-
dent, but I had a reporter. and !
reckon Mr.. Taft might have talked up
there on the hill all night long and no.
body in town would have knowed
about it next day il it hadn't been for
me and that reporter. Exchange.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
Twice Convicted.

Another lawyers story arrives. We
are told that a man was charged with
picking a pocket the other day and
that when arraigned he pleaded
guilty" The case went to the jury,
however, and the verdict was lot
guilty And the court spake as fol
lows:
You don't leave this court without
a stain on your character Ky your
own confession you are thief BY
the verdict of the jury, you are a
liar. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
Cat Beat Him Back.

The grayness of evening was creep
ing over the little suburb Far away
the shrill voices of newspaper boys
could be heard calling the $50 editions,
and the moon cast it's pale beams on
the Worried woman who stood anxious
ly leaning over her garden gate.
81 can't make out where my husband
has got to- she remarked to neigh
Dor He went out nearly three hours
ago with our cat, bag, two bricks
and the clothesline. He was going to
the river to drown the cat Oh, what
can have happened to Eim?"
Don't worry. DEAR said the sym
pathetic neighbor. cats take an awful
time to drown, you know
But it can't be that keeping him.
sobbed the distracted wife, because
the cat came back more than an hour
ago.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
pisTEMPER

In all its forms among all ages of
horses, as we'll as dogs. cured and others
In the same stable prevented from having
the disease with SPOHN'S DISTENIPER
CURE: Every bottle guaranteed over
for chicken cholera. 50 cents and siso a
bottle. S. and $40 the dozen. Any good
druggist, or send to manufacturers. Write
for free book. Spohn Medical Co., Spec
Contagious Diseases, Goshen, Ind. U.S.A.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
Eating Alfalfa to Gain weiaht.

INV fUTh NUTIV.
Take two ounces of carefully select
ed alfalfa leaves. put them in a tea
pot, and pour boiling water over them.
Drink the brew and grow fat at the
rate OF 10 or u pounds every two
weeks. Mark c. Rich, an alfalfa grow
err at Hot Springs. S. D., has tried this
and says it is quite so. He tried it on
himself and gained five pounds in one
week, 191s pounds in two weeks. He
then tried it on the baby, and her pet
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
MeaapInones ia Oil.

Robert Henri, the painter, was dis
cussSps in New York Very mediocre
old master" for which a Chicago pro
moter' had paid an eyorhitant sum
The man is content with his bar
gain" said Mr. Henri I'm sure of
that hTo a millionaire of that type,
YOU know, an cid master Is merely
niegaFhone for his money to talk
drought
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14

without relief. Doan's Kidney Pills
cured me permanently and 1 believe
they saved my life"
when Your Back is Lame, Remem-
Der the Name-DOAN'S."
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price SOC.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
The Genuine Article.

From Hampers Weekly.
II don't know about this picture,
Bobby said the visitor, as he ran over
specimens of the Youngsters camera
work. II am afraid dog with propeller
instead of tail is something of a fake"
THAT amt propeller, said Bobby.
That's his tail. He kept Vaughn it
while his picture was being tookened."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
a Humane Man.

Elderly Catch this big fly
Johann, but do it carefully, and put
him outdoors without injury.
Footman-It's raining outdoors
countess. Shall give him an umbrel
la?-Mergendorfer Blaetter.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
New pisappointment.

First Summer Girl-So you thought
man was coming?
Second Summer Girl-Yes; but as
we got a closer view we saw it was
only bird-Puck.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
WOW she aniies,

she must love her husband dear
", she smiles Whenever she looks
toward him
THAT isn't because she loves him.
it is because she has a sense Of
humor. Houston Post
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14

: A cold on the chest weakens your lungs
Iubercular Germs attack the weak spots.
Keep your lungs strong by curing colds
quickly with Hamlins Wizard Oil and you
will not get Consumption.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
AFTER
I YEARS
SUFFERING
| Was Cured by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound
Waurika, Okla.-sI had female trou
bleS for seven wears was all run down

q nd SO nervous 1
could not do any
thing. The doctors
treated me for diff
ferent things but
did me no good. I
got SO bad that I
could not sleep day
or night. While in
this condition / read
of Lydia e. Pink
hams v eye t a Bile
C o m und, and
hopor Ito ,,co o~<l
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14

Accept your limitations Seize your
opportunities. Enjoy the good of
the hour. Improve the bad and If you
fail, let it drop.-J. S. Blackie.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14
Hit and Run.

From the st. Paul Pioneer Press.
'Nhen L arose TO speak, related TIN
martyred statesman. some one threw
base. cowardly egg at me-
And what kind of an egg might that
be?" asked an attentive listener
"A base, cowardly egg" explained the
statesman. lis one that hits you and then
runs
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-09-14

o bark, o hear: 1 hail the sunlight.
That gilds the trees with mellow gold.
Caressing soft, ere autumn's sight
MUST all my mates In death enfold.