davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR.
By FRED C. KELLY.

public schools have been taught the Yer.
teal writing system, which wouldn't do
at all on White House Invitation. And
so Messrs. Mortimer and Sullivan have
been called into service, year after year,
to jab their pens into rich black ink, and
their tongues against their cheeks, while
they I'LL in the Spencerian hourishes that
will cause hundreds Of people to get out
their evening clothes and travel to the
White House.
It is said that neither Mortimer nor
Sullivan were much better than>the aver
age boys when they first bought their
copybooks in the primary grades and be-
gan to practice on the AS and Os, but
they learned rapidly.
Senator Stone, Of Missouri, says that
he sometimes wishes he had carried out
his original intention OF being a preacher
instead of going in for Senatoring. He
believes that a good preacher can be just
as influential as a United States Sena-
tor Facially he could qualify as an old
school preacher on short notice.
Alfred Henry Lewis, the writer, abhores
people who butt in. Some time ago he
was seated in the National Press Club,
with a number of friends, when a newly
to Lewis, mosied up, slapped him on the
back, and said:
We'll, fellows. what'll you haver'
Lewis turned and glared at the man.
IF IL won't interfere with our friend
ship" said Lewis, sarcasticaIly. I'd like
to know who the devil are your
"Ah. I'm Soandso. proprietor Of the
BIanktown Gazette replied the buttin-
ski
We'll, I wouldn't care a continental"
replied Lewis. 'ff you owned two three
ring clrcuses. Yon can 90 plumb to
thunder
And he resumed conversation with his
companions.
The train was passing through the
State Of Indiana. and that being the case.
it seems quite likely that the passengers
were looking forward to a change Of
cars at Logansport-but that is neither
here nor there. What We started to tell
was that on the train rode Representa-
tive Henry A. Barnhart, of the Thir-
teenth Indiana District, and beside him
sat another native Of the Literary State,
who, however, did not know Barnhart.
What's your line?" asked Barnhart's
seatmate.
''How's that?"
II say what line Of business are you
in?''
"Oh, I'm a member OF Congress" re-
piled Barnhart, elevatlng the two top
buttons Of his vest with pardonable pride.
Hum" grunted the other man, with
out much show Of being impressed. Il
purity nigh went to Congress once my
self. The boys all said / could have had
the nomination as well as not, but was
busy painting the barn and didn't have
time to go TO the convention"
Copyright. 1911, by Fred c. Kelly. AL rights
re5eTTed.)
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

Senator Jonathan Bourne, jr., OF
Oregon, could save a good deal OF money
IL he would stop smoking. He smokes
almost constantly, except when seated
In the Senate chamber, and his cigars
cost him about Al cents apiece, whole
sale. Understand, he doesn't just pay
wholesale prices for retail lots. but lit
orally buys his smokes by the wholesale
It is doubtful II another private con-
! sumner anywhere buys so many cigars
at once as Jonathan Bourne does. Each
year he buys the entire supply Of GER
| tain brand Of tobacco down in Cuba
and has the cigars made up according to
his own plans and specifications. Thus
he has a monopoly on the brand that he
| likes. He is a sort Of young cigar trust.
After the years yield at the Cuban
plantation has been made into Bourne's
Favorites, the cigars are all shipped to
New York, where an expert tobacconist
keeps them in cold storage, with just
the right amount of moisture, and from
New York they are sent to Senator
Bourne, a few boxes at time
Besides smoking almost constantly
Bourne gives away cigars with lavish
hand. and II he were to read over the
Handbooks of Useful Information, where
II tells how much money can be saved
by man who suddenly ceases to smoke
let us say, ten cigars a day-if he were
to study those tables carefully and then
do a little figuring on the back OF an
envelope, he might be surprised at the
amount of money he could have accumu-
lated by this time II only he had never
learned to smoke.
There's another thing about Bourne's
cigars. Though he gives them away with
great abandon, he has only the one grade
on hand, and everybody that receives
Bourne cigar, whether he be seedy
workman. or a bespectacled banker, gets
the same costly brand.
w W. Mortimer, Of the Patent ONCE,
and S. E. Sullivan, OF the Post-Off1ce De-
partment, are two of our unknown, I'M
sung heroes. These are the men whose
wonderful Spencerian handwriting does
much to contribute to the success of the
Presidential receptions at the White
House. Invitations to these parties that
the President gives are nicely engraved,
just as II 1t were a wedding. but the name
OF the invitee on each invitation is filled
in by hand. The writing is so Ike the
flowing style Of the engraver, however,
that one must look a second time to dis
Germ where the engraving leaves OF and
the handwriting begins. 1t is here that
Messrs. Mortimer and Sullivan figure.
Nearly all the White House invitations
are filled in by them. They are high
grade men, each one a division chief in
his department, and could. easily occupy
themselves with more intricate things
than fancy handwriting stunts, but ap-
parently there have been produced no
younger men competent to take their
places. More recent graduates of our
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
Banks of the Potomac.

The protest OF Architect Gilberr
against the inroads of commercialisn
upon the natural beauty of the bank:
Of the Potomac River will arouse CRATE.
full response in the minds of those who
would make Washington the most at
tractive city of Our country. Speaking
before the American Institute of Archi-
tects. Mr.. Gilbert presented a strong
plea for putting a stop to the excava-
lions OF quarrymcn into the granite rocks
above Georgetown. and other operations
OF 4 business nature which NAV dis
figure or destroy the natural charm OF
the banks OF the river near the city
His concrete proposition was that tine
government should purchase the lands
bordering the river and devote them
now or in the future to parks.
The fact was pointed out that inroads
upon the high bluffs west of the city
on the Virginia side have ALREADY
spoiled much of the beauty of the scene
which formerly held the waters of the
river as border and verdant frame in
setting which always stirred the be-
holder. Mr. Gilbert, in the interest of
art and the future enjoyment of vis-
itors as well as the people of the Dis
trict, would buy the quarries and neees-
state procuring the stone from more
remote places. incidentally, he would
put an end to the sunrise guns" of the
blasts which echo daily through the
city and far down the Potomac Valley
No reasonable doubt exists of the
good quality of the stone taken from
the river banks, and no doubt exists of
the right of the present owners of the
land TO do with it as they will, even to
denuding it of fores, growth and lesy-
ing the banks unsightly and bare of
trees and shubbery. But Architect Gil
bert and many who stand with him have
a larger view of the importance of a
river valley winding gracefully beside
the Capital City than to turn its min
eral wealth into money by the quickest
and easiest process Such fAen have
vision OF what Washington. is 10 be.
They see that century hence both sides
OF the river viii bic occupied BY a city.
of possibly a million inhabitants. They
see thst river parks in thai day win be
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
Millions for Precious Stones.

The wonderfuI prosperity of thi:
country is shown by the fact that the
importations OF precious stones into
New York during this year aggregate
S4I.ooo.ooo in value.
Millions and millions of dollars were
spent for diamonds, rubies. emeralds
and similar bauhles.
Not one Of the gems was a necessity
Each one was an adornment and lux
ury. Upon some shoulders the burden
of grinding poverty evidently does not
rest.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

of vastly more value than the compare
.tivelY few dollars that can be dug
from those beautiful hillsides
Land along the river banks is not
now very valuable, and might be pur-
chased, should Congress so decide,
without extravagant outlay, and as time
passes the river banks could be devel-
oped into public parks as necessity or
convenience demand, and such action
now would save to the Capital, in all
its natural splendor, some river and
landscape scenes which are as beauti-
full as any to be found in any spot in
North America.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

Ffom the Chariotte Chronicle.
A Washington hack driver who carried
Senator TilIman to the Capitol wanted so
cents. The Senator would pay but Is
cents. and the incident is In all the pa
pers. Senator Tillman was wrong. The
proper thing Is to inquire OF the cabman
the price OF trip. and II the trip Is
taken pay the cabman's price-not what
one is accustomed to pay in Columbia or
some other rural town. Wonder II TIL
man ever goes in taxieab? II he wants
to get initiated into tn. real art OF charg-
ine fares. he should try one OF these
vehicles. We parted with IS cents for a
ride from the Union depot to the Capitol.
and the walking was good. too.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
CURIOUS BITS OF HISTORY.
By A. w. MACY.
MAKING ENGLISH CITIZENS
OF FRENCHMEN.

MAKING ENGLISH CITIZENS
OF FRENCHMEN.
After the fall of Quebec, in
1859. Canada passed into the pos
session OF England. 1t had at
that time a resident population
of perhaps 100000. A large per-
centage Of these were French
men, who could not understand
English and knew nothing of
English laws and customs. Yet
in making the transfer neither
the French nor the English took
any. account OF this fact. The
French King coded the country
to the English ain the most am
pie manner and form, without re-
striction;" the English King pro-
claimed the country to be Eng
lish, and that Is all there was to
1t. There was no reservation of
the French tenure of land. In all
respects the inhabitants were to
be British subjects. and to be
treated as such. AS a matter of
fact, this did not make much diff
ference to the French Canadians.
for 1t was hardly possible that
their condition could be worse
than 1t was already. Such an ex-
traordinary proceeding-to trans
form 100000 Frenchmen into
English subjects by a stroke of
the pen. without taking their well
fare into account one way or the
other!
Copyright. 1911, BY Joseph B. BowIsA)
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
TOURISTS VISIT RANGooN.
Liner Cleveland Takes Americans
TO Interesting Points.

A message by cable from a special cor
respondent of The Herald aboard OF
steamship Cleveland, that is now on its
eastern tour of the world, was received
yesterday.
Three winners in the Herald's contest
will be on board the Cleveland when she
steams out of San Francisco Bay Feb
ruary next on the western tour that
will circle the globe and land in New
York the latter part of May, 1912. The
cablegram is as follows:
RangoOn, Burma, Dec. 9.-The steam
ship Cleveland of the Hamburg American
Line arrived here this morning on sched-
ule time on her cruise around the world.
During her visit OF seventeen days in
India, special trips were made by tour
lists to Darjeeling and Benares. A gar
den fete was held in honor of the Clever
lands passengers at Benares, when the
Maharajah placed his elephants, wearing
special gala harness, at their disposal. A
delightful trip was also made in small
boats on the Ganges. At Darjeeling the
passengers were carried by rickshaws
to Tiger Hill. where they enjoyed a sun
rise over Mount Everest. the highest
mountain in the world.
The Cleveland passed up the Rangoon
River this morning past the glittering
pagodas and dagobas, the weather con-
ditions being perfect. Rangoon. city
OF 1000 Inhabitants, extended a hearty
welcome to the visitors. The tourists
attended a play acted by natives. a mill
Itary concert. and a native sport carni-
val, all arranged for their benefit. Visits
were made to the famous Shwe Dagon
Psgoda. the representative shrine of
Buddhism, which dates back to 600 B.
c., and other shrines. The other show
places visited included the baEaars. the
Cantonment Gardens, the Royal Lakes,
and the Geological Gardens.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
The Russian Treaty.

The overwhelming vote by which the
House has passed a resolution recon-
mending the abrogation of the treaty
with Russia indicates the sentiment
which exists in this country concern
ing the dishonoring of American pass
ports.
Many months ago The Washington
Herald took occasion, in an elaborate
article, to indicate that the attitude
of Russia toward American citizens
was one which could not be endured
without emphatic protest. The posi-
ton of this government had been re-
peatedly made known to Russia through
formal communications from the va
rious Secretaries of State 1t is un-
necessary at this time 10 repeat the
strong language in which their presen-
tation of the American side of the
question was expressed. Suffice it to
say that Russia continually ignored
these proteStations. In the meantime,
the country became fully awakened to
the fact that the dignity and self-rcspect
OF the United States was involved, and
now that the representatives of the
people have spoken in no uncertain
tone, ii is to be hoped that Russia will
agree to observe the solemn obligations
OF the treaty to which it subscribed
nearly century ago.
Under the circumstances. the House
could not do otherwise than it has done.
1t has taken the patriotic and proper
stand.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
a Democratic Query.

From the Baltimore Sun.
The White House is the oficial resi-
dence Of the President of the United
States. not of the ''titular leader OF the
Republican party" Mr.. Taft invited the
members of the Republican National
Committee to dinner, and they made the
White House Republican headquarters on
The eve of their, session. Democrats have
the same rights IN the national palace
that Republicans have. Mr.. Taft Is their
President. too. When they meet in jan
uary. will ne act IS gracious host to the
members OF the Democratic National
Committee and welcome them as he did
the Republicans to the Presidential
board?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
BANKERS FORBID WAR.
Powerful Agency. EIerted in Secur-
ing Universal Peace.

From the New York Sun.
London, Dec. 13.-The Berlin CORE
spondent of the Daily Mail in reaffirm-
ing his story of yesterday about German
banks obtaining s75.OOO.OOO in New York
when there was danger of trouble with
Great Britain, says in response to an in
dIgnant outburst from the German news
papers that the American syndicate re-
fused to advance the money to Prussia
without a binding assurance that Ger
many did not contemplate war.
This was about the time when the Ger
mar boerses and banks were suffering
from panics and runs and when the finan-
cial leaders told the government that
Germany's financial condition did not
warrant her in launching upon a war.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
Dull I'm Washington.

From the Charlotte Chronicle.
About the dullest thing now going on
In Washington is the Lorimer investi-
cation, and It promises to be almost as
long drawn out as the celebrated Greene
Gaynor case.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
mMore DeadIy,n &C.

From the Detroit Free Press.
Kaiser wilhelm should take warning
before II Is too late or Rudyard Kiplins
may turn himself loose on him.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

Some Of the trusts would doubtless like
to be guaranteed under. pure corpora
ton act.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

An Iowa man is thought to be crazy be-
cause he claims to have been a member
OF Congress. 1t is well the same suspi-
cion does not attach to all who claim
they are going to be-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
VirRinia,s Climate.

Firm tho stnnrt0b Dispatch-News
II any one tries to tell you there is
anything wrong with, yirginia.s winter
climate. ring FOR doctor or the police
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

The way to tell which Presidential can
didate expects TO get the Southern dele
gates is to watch the attitude of their
friends toward the proposition to cut down
the representation from that section.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

A juror in Kansas City made his es-
cape by sliding down a rain pipe. He
will probably be sentenced to sit on an
extra long case.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
Quite in Contrast.

From the Detroit Free Press.
At least the President didn't fall into
the error of making his message as long
as his Western tour.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

II Is conceded that Senator La Toilette
will carry the first State to employ
Presidential primary; but there viii stin
be number OF other States to be heard
from
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

II the custom. d making Postmasters
Generals out OF national ehairmen be-
comes established, 1t ought to insure the
loyalty Of the postmasters in advance.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

The President and Gov. Harmon might
have had a sympathetic little confab over
their respective troubles in Ohio.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

Aviator Rodgers has at last completed
his flight across the continent, but few
people now remember when he began 1t.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

Mr.. Burns has done much to dispel the
Illusion that a first class detective must
have a chronic lockjaw
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

Perhaps the reason the President had
bis Christmas fruit cake made In Texas
is because II win have a chance 10 be-
come well seasoned on the way.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

Perhaps John D. might have accepted
the committees courteous invitation to
testify but for the lurking possibility Of
a somewhat rude cross-examination
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

The abundance Of pure water in Phila-
delphia did not prevent some of the in
habitants being thirsty last Sunday.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

1t doesn't take much money TO get
married. but every swain should remem-
Der that the frst cost Is net always the
greatest
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

If Congress really wishes to hand the
District a nice Christmas gift. let it pass
a universal transfer bill.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
Uncle Walt Says To-day:

stood before the county JAIL and said that suffrage ought to
win THE wonah better than the male cried; TO Hout her
is sim She has virtue and more sense than
W0MANS any who walks the earth; and all the world
WISDOM few hence will have own her sterling worth
woman always loves the good and hates the false,
the bad the vile for she's always Stood and looked on
merit with smile Then long parade of dames who
halted at the prison door they upon their graceful frames
ton lovely flowers asked the jaier why they brought
these tributes to den He answered. Well you know
we caught who slew dozen We have him et
tered safe BY ing hold him till the hangnan and every
day the women bring him orchids and chrysanthenurs
i ,copass IN. b espus Matthew War Mason,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
DON'T DO 1T.

Maude doesn't like me any more,
find her growing colder:
She asked me to tell her my candid opin-
ion OF the Christmas present she was
making for me, and
/ told her.
Jane has no further use for me;
No more my arms enfold her.
She requested me to tell her Of any
little mistake she might make at
bridge whist, and
l told her.
Young man. II you have a nice girl,
A town or country dweller,
And she asks you to tell her your real
opinion about this or that proposition,
why,
Don't tell her.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
In High Life.

VIII your wife spend Christmas at
home2"
Il don't know. I haven't seen the So
ciety papers lately"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
YuItIde Finance.

Sing n song Of sixpence!
How on earth am /
Four-and-twenty presents
Out of IL to buy?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
PennywIae Says.

The management of the Plunkvile
House is undecided whether to put in
some improvements or Jest change its
name
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
Almost Succeeded.

Say. Wombat. last spring you prom
Used me some early vegetables"
Il know I did, old man, and was
about to perfect a squash and a tomato
when the frost hit me-"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
Late for Rehearsal.

why did you want to marry a ballet
girl. SOM
She can sing and dance divineIy,
uncle
Well, we've had breakfast together for
four days now, and she's never been down
yet for the opening chorus"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14

The Prohibition party would not be
losing any opportunities II it nominated
Mr. Bryan for the Presidency.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
Between Girls.

Christmas causes a good many useless
expenditures"
Yes: and it's tough when the mistIe-
toe is a dead loss
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-14
A Mean Man,

Hubby. do you remember that 20,
proposed to me seven times?'
Yes; was a big dub. wasn't r.
The Washington herald., 1911-07-12
USEFUL HINTS FOR CAMPERS
Good Drinking Water Paramount Canvas Cots, AL
cohol Lamps, and Other Necessary Articles

for table clothes, cover for the box wash
stands, and as a protection to the wood
pile from the rain. Mosquito netting
should be pinned over the tent -Aaps
Clothes line. candles, tin box for
matches, and the essential jackknife and
can opener must not be lacking.
A hot water bottle, some bandages
surgeons plaster. a laxative lime water
and olive oil (the two should be COM
bined for burns). borax, and plenty OF
cold cream will form an emergency kit
As for clothing no starched clothes
should be worn. Seersucker, sateen
and light flannel make excellent waists
and two woolen Cor one denim) skirt will
suffice with a small hat. and one broad
farm hat for the sunny strolls. Bloom
ers are great comfort to women and
children should be kept in rompers or
overalls Every one needs a sweater
Two changes of shoes and a pair OF
rubbers are required
A hammock, camera, and all the books
which have been put by for a leisurely
perusal will help to make it a COM
Portable vacation and-a pleasant memory.