davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
The Christmas Reycls

"It is amusing to read the newspaper accounts from Birmingham and Atlanta regarding the Christmas revelries and compare the two as to their reasons for the conditions existing at this time,' said member of the Chamber of Commerce yesterday.
 "A certain paper of this city traces tho cause of the Birmingham casualties and mob demonstrations to the presence of the saloon, while paper in Atlanta. which had many more casualties and more ruff fiansm than this city, says that the reign of the blind tiger made supreme by pro- hibition is directly responsible for the murders and accidents there. It is strange that both cities should blame opposite situations for their holiday mishaps. It makes it hard to tell which is true, espe- cally when one realizes that the Georgia metropolis scores a larger number than Birmingham :"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
THE RIDE TO BUMpvILLE

By Eugene Field. Play that my knee was calico mare Sadded and brdled for Bumpville: Leap to the back of this steed if you dare And gallop away to Bumpyillel I hope you'll be sure to sit fast in your
 seat,
 For this calico mare is prodigously fleet. And many adventures you're likely to
 meet As you journey along to Bumpville. This calico mare both gallops and trots While whisking you off to Bumpville; She paces, she shies, and she stumbles,
 in spots, +s6 s5t aHE In the tortuous road to Bumpville; And sometimes this strangely mercural
 steed
 will suddenly stop and refuse to proceed Which, all will admit, is vexatious in-
 deed. She's scared of the cars when the engine
 goes "Toot''
 Down by the crossing at Bumpvile: You'd better, look out for that treacher- Bearing you off to Bumpville! With snort she rears on her hinder
 most heels, And executes jigs and Virginia reels
 
 one feels Dancing so wildly to Bumpville! It's bumpytybump and it's jiggytyjog, Journeying on to Bumpville; It's over the hilltop and down through
 the bog
 You ride on your way to Bumpville; X It's rattfetybang over boulder and stump, There are rivers to ford, there are fences
 to jump. 9s And the corduroy road it goes bumpyty-
 bump, Mile after mile to Bumpville! Perhaps you'll observe it's no easy thing Making the journey to Bumpville, So think, on the whole 1t were prudent
 to bring ' An end to this ride to Bumpville; For, though she has uttered no protest or
 plaints The calico mare must be blowing aid What's more to the point, I'm bIowed #
 ain't! 'su
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 Some people have to go visiting, but some only have to go to funerals.
 Most people could learn to know some- thing if they didn't think they knew 1t all.
 Even a man with $1OO0,O00 can howl about the injustice of some other man having two.
 The more money man is willing to spend on girl before he is married to her the more he tries not to afterward.
 lts better for girl to be married and get reconciled to her regrets than not to get married and remain unreconciled to them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
EnsIcy,s Postoffice

q witnessed the laying of the corner stone of the new postoffice building at Ensley, at which Senator Joseph F. Johnston officiated," said a resident of the Steel City. "Attention was called to the fact that 1t was a most unusual thing to have two distinct postoffice buildings in one city. l believe the statement was made that there is only one other in- stance in the United States where two postoffces exist inside of the same city lmits-New York and Boston.
 However, I can say for the people of Ensley they feel very proud of the honor. as it will perpetuate the name of the town they all love so well, and which In the short years of it's existence, brought more fame to the Birmingham district than any other section of the great city. It was near Ensley that Uncle Billy Gould drove the pick that disclosed the hidden wealth in the earth beneath. It was at Ensley that the great furnace plant was erected, that blazed the way of the successful method of producing iron in large quantities from southern pre- And it was at Ensley the first steel rail was rolled, and since that time the Ensley steel rail has been acknowledged by the leading engineers and trade journals to be the best on the market today.
 While we accept the inevitable, and are loyal to the interests of Greater Bir- mingham, in which we live, those of us who saw the progress of the Steel City from the time of its incorporation to its consolidation with Birmingham, are ex- tremely glad that EnsIey will not com pletely lose its identity, as it's name will be perpetuated by the splendid new post office building, the cornerstone of which has just been laid yesterday"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
ANNnYANeES

ANNO1 AN1ES. He swore he would his burdens bear And never more complain, But later ons was heard to swear Because he missed train. h sooth it is the triaes that Turn weary mortals gray. Like living in a fireless fiat
 When tis a frosty day, Or getting on a trolley car
 Without the price to ride And landing with 8 sudden jar Upon the outer side; Or finding when the rain comes down Your last umbrella gone, That should have sheltered you to town Who now get rained upon; Or having made a date to meet A certain girly fair, And having hurried down the street, You find she isn't there; Or having planned joyous night With comrades three or four, Your wifey, who's disposed to fight, Won't let you out the door; Or having told a whopping lie, With which to save your skin, Someone for whom you fondly sigh Considers that too thin. Oh, yes, it is the little cares That make a fellow cross, Although with fortitude he bears The most tremendous loss.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
Last Week of the Year

The year end week is in cities a time of preparation against dividend and interest payments which aggre- gate millions of dollars. This causes temporary strain in the money mar ket. Berlin and London, and in fact all money centers feel a similar strain, and Berlin is seeking money on one month loans at rates as high as ' per cent.
 Year end weeks have long been re- garded with interest and as a rule they have been spectacular, but those of 1905 and 1906 in New York ex- ceeded all the rest. 'The last week of 1906 was. marked says the New York Evening Post, "by .45 per cent call money and a per cent rate for three months loans, and stock ex- change prices broke severely. The same week of 1905 ended with pro- digious strain on the money market and rate of 125 per cent. Yet the stock market rose. There was ap- parently nothing in sight, for the next two years or so presented an uninter rupted boom."
 The present year end week is full of steady promise and no disquieting signs appear anywhere. It promises to be an unusually tame year end week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
RoosEvELT's MEMORY FOR FACES

From the Boston TraVeler.
 The recent visit of Colonel Roosevelt to Boston brought out "reminiscences from John Currier of Newburyport, a veteran marine engineer, who, some years ago, was chief on the late John M. Forbes yacht Wild Duck. To this steam yacht came many distinguished visitors, and later, when the craft became the prop erty of Gen. Francis Greene, Roosevelt was frequently on board.
 ''fhe colonel had wonderful memory for faces" says MT. Currier. My as- sistant and I were introduced to him one day when he was inspecting the yacht. Several weeks later he came aboard, and coming to the engine room door, greeted us, calling us both by name. How a1 man as busy as he was at that time ever remembered those names is beyond me. General Greene was then on the republic an county committee, New York, and Roosevelt was getting ready to run for Vice President"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
A VIRGINIA FASHION
the Southwest Times.

From the Southwest Times.
 1 desire to announce to my friends and kinsfolk that, assisted by pr. Wooling and a miscellaneous assemblage of elder ly danes, the first durbar ever held west happy termination amid the enthusiastic cheers of the new subject of our realm this morning. Mother and daughter are doing well. I may pull through.
 SID WHEELEn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

lowing ale orgies in Atlanta. the hos ptals treated 0 people.
 Tn the limits of Birmingham there were but four deaths Christmas. One of these, that of Tom Motion. Jr., was accidental. The others were deaths of negores en- gagged in frolieing and using dangerous weapons.
 The greatest number of men on the force this Christmas was 124 On Christ mas. 1910, we had 1s9 policemen at work '"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
A DREARY FATE
5 MAN AND HIS WAYS

MAN AND HIS WAYS
 Erasmus J. Proudfoot was the husband of Suffragette fact well known to himself and to the neighborhsod in which he resided Nobody ever had an oppor- tunity to forget who wore the bifurcated garment in the household. Ii had been many round. pale moons since Mr Proud- foot had been able to tear himself away from his fireside in the evening. Upon this eventual evening he had decided to issue his declaration of independence T will be- out this evening"" he remark ed quite casually to Mrs. Proudfoot. It was his plan to break the thing gently but firmly. and to stand by his colors to the bitter end.
 Is that so?' she asked with a slight touch of polite sarcasm. May ask why, pray?"
 ''I have directors meeting"
 "No you haven't. Your board of direc- tors always meets in the afternoon Mr Jones told me so." , "Well-er, then, I have an old college friend from out of town. and I promised to spend the evening with him." "Old stuff" snorted Mrs. Proudfoot. You act as though I was a ten-twent'- thirt vaudeville audience, ready to bite on anything. If you have an old college chum in town you can phone him to come up here.v
 But have got to meet our senior partner at o'clock and go to the train with him." said Mir. Proudfoot desper- ately.
 Your senior partner went away yes-t terday. You told me so yourself
 ''Well, even at that said he, in final attempt to get by gracefully, "even at that, I promised to make the fourth in a game of whist over at Mir. Pod snaps tonight. and I've got to go.''
 "Mr. and Mrs. Podsnap are up at Char levoix, and have been there ever since July l. Your work is really coarse, Eras- mus''
 well. you know, I never deceived yon in my life, Matilda said Mir Proudfoot, weakening.
 "I know perfectly well that you have never deceived me, Erasmus, and you arc not decaiving me now. You had better get out your slippers and remain at home this evening"
 And he remained.-Boston Globe.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
Chief Bodeker Explains

we have heard a great deal concern ing the alleged bloody Christmas in Bir- mingham," stated Chief Bodeker yester- day, "and efforts have been made to show that the accidents and homcides re- suited from the legal sale of liquor.
 However. it is unquestionably true that the blind tigers in Atlanta wrought more havoc Christmas than the legalized saloons in Birmingham. l note that fol-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

from a bank in California When he went into the prison he weighed 25O pounds. When Sheridan saw him lie was not moro than 1S0, rosy checked, athletic and in prime condition.
 What makes you look so fine?" asked Sheridan.
 f'sBill, ''ahe replied ''thisais a sanitanum. I've become an athlete since l came In here. l swim, play baseball, run races and, say, l have a better time here than I ever had on the outside. It's the train ing I do that has me in this fine shape. All the prisoners. except the very old ones, get into athletics here The aged fellows read lot and play coquet and cards.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
GROWS IN FAVOR

From the Nashville Democrat.
 Oscar Underwood grows in favor with the Fasteners. The democracy might go farther and do worse-not because he is a southerner but because he has the grit and the gumption and is a democrat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
Walker All Right

Walker county is all right stated Capt. Jack Cranford of Jasper yesterday. We have had a fine Christmas trade, and everybody seems happy with a share of prosperity.
 We have the biggest cotton crop under the sun, and although the price of the staple is low we will manage to get along. We are happy in Walker, and that means mucn within itself"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
LIVING BEYOND IT.

'Even the most practical persons are subject to curious hallucinations at times,r remarked Guzzit.
 "No doubt you are right" said Tupper.
 For instance, did you ever feel that there was something behind you that was trying hard to overtake you?"
 why. yes: have felt that way and have often suspected that it was my in- come"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

didn't get even a banana for cliristmas present.
 Very sad. no doubt, but if they had reeeVed bahamas from. Santa Claus the chances arc they would have thrown the peeiinss on the sidewalk, where we might have stepped on them and broken our neeks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
Representative Government and the
 Primary


 The talk by politicians of the aban- donment of the primary system is mere nonsense. No state that has once adopted the primary has ever gone back to the convention plan not one, and the voters of Alabama are not bit eccentric.
 There is only one way in which the primary plan can be abolished in this state, and that is by a square sub- mission of the proposition to the democratic voters. The nolitigisas that attempt to do it 9e 3t securing authority fir Ie v8tea will simply burn tho s neg will accomplish no
 Mississippi is reear aees the primary eeaa to ih. aIes n9s sible ext an5 Faen tf the ril be ca1 I hs p.sn 0 atmg Ta a e Us desire s rs 
 is tl vol a eaprassioq
 thgt
 N They
 taa
 te stay
 
 one
 VII
 do
 oye  
 sW
 e
 i'd
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
SARCASM

You You would like to borrow s5?' broke'?"
 "of course not. have merely sent my bank roll out for an airing"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
pLEASES HIMSELF

'Dibble is an entertaining talker.'
 'Id like to see the sort of man he could entertain with his talk'
 Well, the next time you pass him on the street, take good look at Dibble."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

If not, you know, you can exchange them This business should be attended to this week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Fort Wayne, Ind, boasts of 25 cent taxi eab fare from the station to any part q the city. It is said to be the lowest 5 ne in the country. The chauffeur usual- iy expects a tip of that amount.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Colonel Roosevelt is right when he says big man is of no account unless he has the masses back of him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

THE SAME IS TRUE TODAY. Diogenes upon his quest
 An honest man could never find; Although still hoping for the best. Great was the scarc'ty of that kind.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Next year will become historic because [ is the year in which the last spadeful
 earth will be thrown from the Panama nal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

The meat trust is now up against rein deer meat and whale steaks, both from Alaska.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Yuan Sinai Kai warns up to a republic an form of government slowly. but he is pretty plainly drifting in that direction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

iermany's r dirigible war balloons are nply + gasbags sadly out of date. No her country is bit alarmed by them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Gary is coming along as a city. It has ready sent bribe taking alderman to gSiou
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

The Lorimer case will be opened fin re- juvenated form in 1912. It is a stand batter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Persia is not even permitted to select it's own purse bearer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
NOT FIT TO PRINT.

NUT FIT -TO HIN T. Ma hopes she'll never hear such words Oh, never hear again Such words as pa said when he stepped On Bobby's railroad train. The room was dark and that was why Pa came to sudden grief; That he could fall so hard would seem Almost beyond belief. That he could use such language warm No one would ger suppose, Who's seen the Sunday morning look With which to church he goes.
 THE BRIGHTER SIDE.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

rake wool bills are being drawn up
 men all the way from New York Utah. Shoots bill promises to be a li mmer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

And now the trouble is to catch up with the holiday bills.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

People of leisure can at least watch the days grow longer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

New York and Pennsylvania are about Q make appropriations to fight the ches- U atnS
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

The President is engaged in reading the life of Job and the lamentations of Jere- miah
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Santa Claus has gone back to the north pole to rest for a year
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Santa Claus comes but once a year hence his great popularity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

The Persian lamb stands a-trembly be- tween the British lion and the Russian bear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

King George Is a mighty hunter himself, and yet he will not write a book.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
WHY, HE'D ROCK A BoAT.

His foolish ears we'd like to catch And pull like all creation The chap who throws lighted match And starts a conflagration. : :: E. : x; : ; ;:' : ;. k.
 A DREARY FATE.
 How sad is life
 For one who sees
 His carping wife
 He cannot please.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Dr. Wiley comes out against plum pud- dings and whiskers in one breath.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29
SHOW GIRL HARD UP

Add 1912 up and you have. alas. IS.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Entered at the Birm Hs pcstoffice as second-class z act of Congress March 3
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

HE BRIGfIIER oIIJE. 'There are some poor little waifs who
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

z. E. Morgan, w. G. George McMasters are the #t travelling representatives Herald in it's circulation
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Daily and Sunday Age-Herat Daily and Sunday. per n Daily and Sunday. three
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

TELEE N tt4 Bell (prlvate exc 1N euu aft ah departmPnts), No. PeopIesi Editorial rOoE 8s1i busi- ness office, 230.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

Yuan Sinai Kai warns up to a republic an form of government slowly, but he is pretty plainly drifting in that direction.
  Colonel Roosevelt is right when he says big man is of no account unless he has the masses back of him.
  If not, you know. you can exchange them. This business should be attended to this week. The meat trust is now up against rein deer meat and whale steaks, both from Alaska. The Lorimer case will be opened fin re- juvenated form in 1912. It is stand batter. The President is engaged in reading the life of Job and the lamentations of Jere- miah. The Persian lamb stands a-trembly be- tween the British lion and the Russian bear. King George Is a mighty hunter himself, and yet he will not write a book.
  pr. Wiley comes out against plum pud- dings and whiskers in one breath.
  Santa Claus comes but once year. hence his great popularity. Santa Claus has gone back to the north pole to rest for a year.
  People of leisure can at least watch the days grow longer.
  Persia is not even permitted to select its own purse bearer. And now the trouble is to catch up with the holiday bills. Add 1912 up and you have, alas, 15
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-12-29

E. ". BARRETT. ........ = ees
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
THREE CURED OF ECZEMA

when child, l suffered eight
years with eczema. l could not sleep
at night, and had sores all over my
chest. We had doctors and none
could do any good, until my mother
saw the advertisement of the Cuti-
cura Remedies in the paper. We used
the Cuticura Soap, Ointment and
Resolvent, and they cured me Of
eczema. l also used them on my five
children. Two of them had eczema
very badly. When my children had
eczema, l was not worried at all, as
l knew the Cuticura Remedies would
do their work. They had sores all
out, and they would scratch all night
and day. They had 1t on their heads,
face, and in back of the ears SO that
thought their ears would drop off. I
washed their heads and bodies with
Cuticura Soap and they are as clean
as the driven snow. Cuticura Soap
and Ointment also cured my children
of ringworm. I would not be without
the Cuticura Remedies. They are
wonderful" (Signed) Mrs. Violet
Cole, rs s. Redfield ST., Philadelphia.
Pa, Oct. 20, 1910.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment are
sold throughout the world. Send to
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp, sole
props, Boston, for free book on skin
and scalp diseases and their treat
mont
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
SILENCE THAT WAS WASTED
Aunt Melissa Supremacy Indifferent to
Fact That Pa Had for Days
Been In duff"

Aunt Melissa Spigott was such an
exceedingly energetic talker that the
youngsters of the family used to sup
pose that her tongue must be copper
toed, because it never wore out. Uncle
Silas, on the other hand, was as eco
nomical of words as a marketman Is
Of early Strawberries.
The too free exercising of this I'M
ruly member of Aunt Melissa's Cd
one occasion, gave Uncle Silas serious
offense, which he manifested by
severe silence lasting for several days.
At the end of that period one Of the
older daughters approached her
mother upon the subject with the re-
mark, Ma, seems like you ought to
make up with pa by now"
Make up with pal" exclaimed
Aunt Melissa, in great establishment.
Make up what?"
why" returned the daughter,
don't you know poor pas feeling
bad YETI. He's still huff1ng."
Huntington the lands sake! How
longs he been a-huff1ng?"
Ever since you came down on him
80 hard about wasting sugar by not
stirring his coffee; that's three days
ago."
''Why, you don't tell me. jamie
Maud" Aunt Melissa looked amazed.
"Your pore pa! Been a-hufnng for
three days, and l never mistrusted a
thing Of it!"-Youth's Companion.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

It is a good plan to have the horses
and cows clean up their managers aft
er each feed.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16
HckzHg 6caoP Pods

a costly establishment during a dis
astrous year.
The worlds consumption of cacao
Is increasing at greater rate than
the recorded gain in production. 1t Is
unlikely that the latter will overtake
the former The demand for choco-
late, cocoa, and the many CONNECTIONS
in which cacao is used expands year
by year. Sections Of the worlds area
where cacao can successfully De
grown are necessarily limited, owing
to climatic requirements. The COM
parative facility with which this crop
can be produced, harvested and trans
ported gives it advantages not en-
joyed by other tropical products.
The principal markets for Domini-
can cacao are the United States, Ger
many and France, in the order
named. During the current year the
prevailing price obtained in the Re
public has been around eight dollars
per ouintal of so kilos.
w.. E. PULLIAM.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1911-06-16

Trim the young tree in the orchard
right from the start. Low-headed
trees are best; therefore, prune from
the top down and not from the bottom
up.