Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1911-04-27
UNCLE BEN,
ADVISER

The father, mother and as many of
the neighbors as had been taken into
their confidence were very much wor.
ried about the 20-year-old daughter
Lena. She had been keeping COM
pany with, and was at last engaged to
VIII Armstrong. Mr.. Henderson had
not put his foot down in time. He
was merchant and the idea that his
daughter should take up with" a
clerk in another store and working
on salary Of $40 per week, angered
and Inundated him.
Things were at skies and sevens
when Uncle Ben arrived. He was sew
enty years old and worth thousand
dollars for every year Of his age. Ev-
eryone looked up to Uncle Ben He
was great hand to advise. He made
a specially of advising whenever op-
portunity offered. If a man had
COW which only gave five quarts of
milk per day Uncle Ben would adj
wise him that 1T was just as easy to
have one which gave double the
amount. He advised his neighbors
how to live in peace and unity-young
men what sort of girls to pick out
girls what sort of fellows, and he
lived his life knowing that the great
world would sadly miss him when his
time came to go.
The old gentleman didn't wait two
days before tackling his job. He
didn't go to see the young man, as he
might have done. All young men
were alike. He first led off on the
duty of children to their parents.
They must obey. What did girl of
| twenty, who had never churned or
made soft soap. know of human char
acter? Right in his youthful breast
Will Armstrong might have the seeds
of murder and piracy. After marriage
they would grow and thrive like lot
of burdocks, and 1t would eventually
be the gallows for him. Yes, the gal
lows, and the wife would stand at
the foot of 1t with streaming eyes and
wish she had never been born Then
the good Uncle Ben took up the COM
mersial side OF the case. Let 1t go
that they loved Admit, for the sake
of argument that no murderous seeds
were waiting to blossom in Williams
breast. He was getting salary of
$40 week-only $40. How far would
that go towards making home? 1t
was easy to figure. So much house
rent-so much sugar, coffee, tea, -four
and butter. There might be SO cents
a week over, but that would have to
go for rheumatic liniments and corn
cures.
After talk lasting for hours, in
which the girl had very little to say,
Uncle Ben patted her on the shoulder
| and observed:
Il am glad you see things my way.
dear. You are going to drop this
young man and be sensible"
But am not" she replied. "Un-
less he dies or backs out we shall
be married"
Then you can't think know
much"
Not about girls. When they love
and wed they are willing to do with
very little tea and coffee Will and l
shall get along. You are a dear old
uncle, but when 1t comes to choosing
a husband let girl alone"
Look here. Lena" replied the old
man after some thought, you are my
favorite niece. don't want to see
you go to the poorhouse. nor weeping
at the foot of the gallows. Send this
young man about his business II you
will do this I'll agree to put SIS. 900 in
the bank for you against marriage
with somebody In your station"
mot for sale, Uncle Benz"
Uncle Ben had no more to say to
her. She refused to follow his advice
and was therefore to be considered a
lost soul. His advice to the parents
was:
Say no mora Lot her make her