davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
POLITE POLICE OF PARIS

| F. Berkeley Smith Parisians Out of Doors.
 | The laws of France relative to the out of-doors life of the masses are made in
 the interest of the people. Furthermore, they are enforced. There is no fixing
 things with French policeman. If your bicycle has suddenly been twisted into junk by a careless driver, the belted and
 brass -buttoned gentleman who arrives on the scene questions you with intelligence
 and iots down in his notebook the facts
 of the occurrence, as near as he can as-
 certain them. Throughout the interview
 he is polite alert and painstaking in getting at the exact truth, and, whether you or the offending driver or both ac- company him to the police station, he conducts you with quiet dignity and an air of fulfilling his duty. It does not make the slightest difference in France who you are, or whether or not you have mutual friends in the corner saloon, or come from his ward, or are relative of Congressman So-and-Sos- If you are at fault, you must pay the damages; If the other fellow is to blame, you will be ushered from the presence of the com missaire de police with as much cere- moniaI politeness as would be shown at diplomatic interview.
 If it is boiling hot and you are in need of information, go to the nearest police man, address him as Monsieur and raise your hat. He will immediately re- turn military salute, listen attentively, and give you, as carefully as possible, the necessary information, saluting you again as you raise your hat to leave him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
In Georgia and Florida

Tn my travels I divided the month of .Jnlv between Georgia and Florida" said George R. Holmes of Birmingham, who represents northern manufacturers or machinists tools. q found business good in both of the states named. With the exception of a shortage in the peach crop the fruit industry has been very satisfac- tory this summer. I never saw anything like the quantity of melons that are be-
 ing shipped
 .Florida seems to be wonderfully pros porous this year. Jacksonville is going forward by great strides, and other towns in the state are growing.
 "In Georgia everybody is talking about the big cotton crop and the big water melon crop. Among the cities of Georgia Savannah is one of the best from busi- ness point of view. It used to be an old fashion place, but now it is full of mod ern push. One may always hear a good deal of political talk in Georgia. cam paign ~seems to be in progress all the time There was some talk recently of an organized movement to have the state wide prohibition laws of Georgia re- pealed. The Asct that the sale of beer under the name of near-beer is licensed
 in Georgia has doubtless kept off an ac- tive anti-prohbition agitation, but just as soon. as Birmingham has the open sa- loon Atlanta is sure to want it. Up to this time the difference between Atlanta and Birmingham is that one has liberal prohibition laws, while the other, that is to say Birmingham, is governed by dras- tic laws l think in about two years Geor- gia will go back 10 the local option sys- tenn just as Alabama has done"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
Presidency of the University

'I have no idea who will be elected president of the. University of Alabama - said a former resident of Tuscaloosa, but doubtless a high-class man will be found who will accept the position. pr. Denny of Washington and Lee is spoken of as one Of the best educators in the country, and if his services could be secured the | university would be fortunate.
 About 20 years ago I suggested tO one of the trustees that Woodrow Wilson would be a good man for the university Wilson had already distinguished him. | self. ] thought. At any rate, he was big
 enough to be made professor of jurispru.
 dence and political science at Princeton
 wear after the conversation I had witf the trustee on the subject Woodrow Vii
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
AInbamn,s Cotton Crop

What is my estimate of the cotton crop i'll Alabama, do you ask$ said w. U. Nesbitt, the well-known cotton broker. After an experience of b years in the cotton business and F years experience as married man, there are two questions that I do not attempt to answer. one IS with regard to what the crop will turn out to be and the other is what woman is going to wear. have quit answering in either case.
 Seriously, however, I am glad to say that cotton in Alabama is in splendid condition. I can say further that we can | nave less than a normal crop. The plant Is we'll fruited. and no matter how bad weather conditions might be from now on ihe crop will be normal. How much more than normal remains to be seen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
The Underwood Boom

Mobile Register: Washington corre- papers says that Mir. Underwood of Ala hama has a noteworthy "boom' started, and that he must be put into the list of presidential possibilities. The Alabama delegation in Congress is for him. and each member of it has declared belief in the vitality of the 'boom."
 Democrats in Washington say that MT. Underwood has made fine record since .he party came into the control of the House. They point out that he put the Canadian agreement through the House in the form in which it comes from the hand of the President and he passed in jig time a wool bill and a free list bill. In addition his friends declare MT. Un- derwood has sized up generally as a leader of national proportions, and they believe if the democratic convention should decide to name a Southern man that the Alabamian would i'll the bill. The objection raised that MT. Under wood is from a southern state will have some weight possibly. He, however, is a native of Kentucky and for considerable time lived in Minnesota. He can hardly be classed as southern Bourbon. In fact, he is southern progressive; and is very much alive, upon national topics. To bar him out because his state is safe, is simply to bar out all southern men, with exception of those living in two states, from the hope of attaining the highest office in the gift of the people. How long is party expediency to domi- nate what must be regarded as the right of the south to recognition in national ar fairs?
 It is worth while to make fight for this right; and the occasion appears very fla vorable when the south has such man as Underwood to present to the attention ,f the democrats of the country.
 Raleigh Times: Alabama is going to put oscar w. Underwood forward as a candidate for President As chairman of the ways and means committee of the House MT Underwood has grown inn mensely in public favor the last few months He is a good general and the
 way he has martialed his forces and gone l about the work of relieving the country
 
 dcns is one thing that has won for him 1 popularity. But the true test of his character and the thing that has given
 him fixed place as a statesman came when the coal, iron and steel interests | tried to bluff him. He represents the Bir- mingham district and these interests there | threatened him. One new concern threat
 cned to stop work and shut down if Un-
 derwood persisted in his tariff revision
 course. Underwood kept on. As result he is the most popular man in hiss dis | lrict and his state and his cause has wor | tl,c admiration of the whole country There is a lesson here for some of thu little southern congressman who Now
 with fear every time tariff revision Threatens to touch some highly protected industry in their district If they vii
 have more concern for all the people the,
 represent and less for the interests i
 will be better for them and better for th'
 country.
 Florida Times-union; The vote on tn
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
The Cotton Situation


 Henry Clews in his review of the cotton situation says in part;
 '',rhe continuation of favorable grow ing conditions naturally leads to the ex- pectation that the government report, which will be issued August 2, will reflect an improvement over last month. Private bureaus place the con dition at above 90 per cent, and 1t is not unlikely that the government re- port will closely approximate this figure.
 Trade conditions are still very un- satisfactory and unfortunately there is no indication as yet which would tend to confirm the claims of the bulls made earlier in the season that an enormous crop would be readily absorbed this year.
 Sentiment. however, is little more optimistic, due probably to the belief that the decline which is now in prog ress is gradually eliminating the most u,nfavorable factor in the manufactur- ing situation--that of the high cost of the raw material, and because of this, together with the fact that stocks of goods are slowly but surely being re- duced, spinners here and there are be- ginning to display a more independent attitude
 Readers of these advices are aware that we have consistently and consist ly advocated the short side of the mar ket for the reason that we were fully convinced that prices were bolstered up to a ridiculous height, wholly un- warranted by underlying conditions, and that sooner or later there was bound to be a sharp marking down. The inevitab has at last happened and the situation In consequence is no longer dangerous; 1t is quite likely that if the high crop estimates should ma teralize a further decline would ensue, as going quotations are still well above the level of former years under condi- tions very nearly the same as those now eXisting"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

,yoo, schedule showed the hands Of the ,psnraent republicans. Their position nav have been already known in Wash ineton, but it was not known throughou' inc country. The vote showed that the icut that they propose to make in the tariH | ,s not nearly so deep as that which tue democrats desire to make
 l We believe that public sentiment oe- nands A greater reduction of duties thah ,hc insurgent republicans are willing 10 l. copcede. We believe the republicans on | .ba farms will demand greater reduc- ,,,n |, the duties on manufactured prod
 ucts Some of them will believe Presioeh. ,caft,s statement that the tarif mas never ! nrotected them. Others who may con ,inue to believe it has will feel that Can o6ian reciprocity has robbed them Of the advantages the tariff gave them' In either event they will De deeply displeased with the republican party and Will reel like cutting off as much as possible rom tho duties that oppress them. We be- | Howe this tariff fight will result in giving tho democrats nearly every state between .he Alleghenies and the Rocky noun tains. t . Another result will be the rise of oscar Underwood as a presidential possibility. | If the tariff fight continues with the com- mittee of which he is chairman proposing inc lowest duties, with the insurgent re- nublicans in, the Senate increasing the duties and then helping to pass the piil and with the republican President vetoing
 whatever bill is passed. the issue will be clearly Joined and Mr., Underwood Will
 stand before the country as the leader Tn inc tariff fight. This may not give him
 enough prestige to tnolnin@e him, but 1t
 is likely to put him before the demo-
 cratic convention with a strong support for the presidential nomination.
 Meridian Star: It is understood that
 the state of Alabama will cast her vote In | the democratic national convention next | year for her favorite son, Representative l Underwood, now chairman of the ways | and means committee in the natiot'a' House of Representatives, a position tna'
 entities him 10 the floor leadership or the l majority party in the House,
 Since the converting of the present eN- lraordinary session of Congress MT. ln-
 derwood has come rapidly to the Iron' aud he has justly earned reputation Tor rc,n,rase and ability of leadership that ranks him second to none in the present Y or passed Congress. His popularity mas
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
Interurban Trolley Systems

A fine interurban trolley system Is about to be put in operation in the Charlotte district of the Carolinas. It stretches from Durham, N. C., to Greenville, s. C., distance of 300 miles. It links together many cotton mill towns, and the power of the en- tire system will be desived from fall ing waters. No coal will be consumed by it. The power company that keeps 150 cotton mills in operation will sup ply power to the interurban trolley line. The Catawba and other rivers are to be utilized.
 The day will come when an inter- urban system will be built in Ala bama, and the Cahaba may be called on to do work not unlike that of the Catawba in the Carolinas. A basic line from this city to Selma is need ed, with spurs or branches to Mont gomery, to Camden and finally to Mo- bile. An extension to Huntsville and perhaps to Chattanooga would give the state a basic interurban system, and some day it will be built. We have plenty of rivers with untold un- developed power in them, and capi- talists will yet build an interurbar system in this state equal in scope and value to the 300-mile line now nearly completed in the Carohnas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
nEFLEcTIoNs OF A BACHELOR

FrOln tIe New YOrN PTeSS
 Count no cash and you cut no dash The man any girl can fool is the one who thinks no girl can.
 Lovers sentiment gets very anemic when it settles down to housekeeping.
 A useful thing about the telephone is how you can long-distance lie over it. f In reality anything is good enough for the man who thinks nothing is too good for him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

If Congress passes a wool bill the Pres idcnt will then have chance to reduce the tax on the poor mans coat, his wife s dress his children's garments and the blankets on their beds. Will he dare to plead the tariff board under such circum- stances?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Germany certainly has tested the Anglo French entente and it proves to be some thing very substantial and very trust worthy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Pittsburg claims that its new $22, 300 pitcher does not spatter the diamond with tobacco juice. This is certainly worth something.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
KEEPING AHEAD.


 There is a southern insane asylum where those inmates whose particular form of insanity is harmless are permit ted to participate in dances and other amusements; to which outsiders are in- vited. At a lawn party at this institution prominent lawyer, who had been invited, saw very attractive girl seated under a tree. and engaged her in conversation. You are surely not an inmate of thIs place?' he sympathetically inquired. "Oh, yes, l am,'' she assured him. But you don't look g. bit insane" Well, you see, l was put here because can't keep from swearing You see that man walking around with a mop?' ''Yes."
 Well, he walks around after me and washes off the swear words that I write on the walks. I'm two hells and a damn ahead of the mop now."-Metropolitan Magazine.
 CHURCH NOTES. On Sunday morn he sat in church The strictest silence Keeping; But now and then a little lurch Betrayed that he was sleeping.
 Birmingham Age-Herald. The preacher saw him where he sat, But didn't mind g. bit; It takes a whole lot more than that To make a preacher quit
 Chicago Record-Herald.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Nat Goodwin and the Princess Chimay would make q good match. and it would be an even bet as to which would get the best of il.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Mr. I}ryans attention has been called to the fact that he left the name of oscar W. CndcrN ood off his list of presidential eligibles
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Lord Hugh Cecil was considered rowdy even by his father, the late Earl of Salisbury.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Missouri expects to build new state house for S3,5O0OO0. She evidently expects to rule out all Pennsylvania architects and constructors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

The Standard Oil is to be cut into 3o rarts TO have one for each state there would have to be 4S. Some states will have to get along without one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

She new comet has no press agent and it whirls along almost unnoticed in thls world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

The congressional lame ducks are limp ing away from Washington. They are becoming weary of their peculiar .distinc- |
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
A CONFESSION.

Now, these be days when poesy
 Hath yvery little charm; The thought of working wearies me- The weather is too warm. Ye, gods! when winters breezes blow 1t isn't hard to rhyme, Fen though a minstrel band below Is footing all the time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

The house of commons veto bill makes the lords feel like biting somebody
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

The bathing beach owners are trying to talk the cold spell In July out of ex- istence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Despite the peace arbitration treaties all Europe is full of war rumors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Even the Encyclopaedia Britannica is no match for the record in the Lorimer. ease, and the latter is by no means concluded.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Blind tigers are known in Texas as sa looms of the maverick type.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Premier Asquith prefers the suffragettes to tory rowdys led by Lord Cecil.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Some elade crossings call for grave yards close at hand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
SOMEWHAT TESTY.

IS he at peace with all the world?'
 NO; only with that part of the world Wlth which he is not acquainted"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
PROBABLY AN OVERSIGHT.

This is strange, passing strange" What Is stranger"
 Here's an obituary notice of a defunct statesmen from Snigginsville without any reference to Valhalla."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
A MIsUNDERsrANDING.

"He called you Aurora"
 'The next time l see him I'll scratch lis eyes out"
 What for?"
 He can't call me roarer and get away with 1t. I'll have him understand that Pm a perfect lady and I never roar, no matter what happens!''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

The near-frost up north has nipped many vacation plans
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
THE GRADUATE.

A young man went to college. Where learning's fountains leak, And later sold his knowledge
 For seven plunks a week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
From the, Autobiography of Joseph Jei 


 ferson.
 WIFE now entered upon course or \X/ -the most primitive acting, going
 w from town to town and giving entertainments in the dining rooms of the hotels. As there were no papers pup lshed in these small villages there were no printing offices, consequently no bills; so flaming announcements of our arriVai in a bold handwriting were displayed Ill the three important points Of the town, viz: the hotel, the postoffice and the barber shop. It fell to my duty, being an adept with the brush, to write, or rather paint, these advertisements. The plays were acted in costume, but without scen- cry or curtain. The nightly receipts were small-iust about enough to get us from place to place.
 Our objective point was the town ol Liberty. Miss; but there was some dihi- culty in getting there, as the distance was greater than we could accompllsh in A day. A farmer who had been to the theatre the night before for the hrst tune in his life was so struck by the perform ance that he proposed to have his teams
 
 brought in and take us to his farmhouse about g miles distant. According to ms suggestion we were to rest for oay, give an entertainment in his barn. ana so go on to Liberty.
 But" said my brother, ''you tell me tbere is no other house there but your own. What shall we do for an audience! well" said the farmer "all my fam ilv will come, to begin with, and there is A dozen or more on 'em; and there s eight or 10 Lighthouses close by, and II one of your men will drive there with my son and blow the born they will all come. for there isn't one on 'em ever seen play before. I'll insure you fuii barn."
 So the matter was settled and we ac- tually played in a barn. the house thae we stayed in being the only one m sieh''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

HENCE THE "ATMosPHERE.' He talks about Shepheard's hotel in Cairo, as if he had been there" Well, not exactly, although he once received a souvenir postal card from there."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
SOMEWHAT DRouGHTY.

Tt is so dry here that wagons are going around with their tongues out. Ice has to be soaked In water all night before 1t Is wet enough to make lemonade. The catfish kick up such dust in the bed of the river that the river has to be sprinkled before you can go fishing. A spark from an engine set fire to a pond and burned up lot of bull frogs before the fire could be extinguished, and the ground is so dry and hard that crawfsh holes in low places are being pulled up ard used for gas pipes. Vista, kans., Journal.
 FOOLISH. -
 Docs advertising pay?"
 Have you never heard of Gaby Des- lys?"
 "Of course I have"
 "Then, why do you ask such ques-
 tion?" PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

The snow storm in Michigan came too late to kill the peach crop.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

grown steadily with all parties and it has been well earned. His party has conf- dence in him and he has confidence in himself, combination that is hard to beat whenever met
 We do not know that Mir. Underwood is at present ,or is to be in the future . candidate for the presidential nomination. hut if such should prove to be the case is at present, or is to be in the future, entirely confined within the borders of Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
TO BE SIRE. A.sl

The Pensacola Journal says Underwood put Alabama on the map. Smoke up. Brother Mayes. Birmingham did that long ago. -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

The world is short on dreadnought dry decks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

Tine Hines testimony has been contra uictcd so h any times by so many people it should be wiped off the record.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01
TELEPHONES

See now, how wit may he made s Jock-a-lent, when 'tis upon Ill employ ment. -TrOiIus and Cressida.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-08-01

LANGUAGE OF THE FOOTLIGHTS From Lippincott's Magazine.
 The roll of drums: Here comes the king!'
 Opening bars of The Flower Song: somebody is going to receive a pro- posal."
 A puff of cigarette smoke accompanied by a wild roll of the eyes: 'I am . villain.''
 A flash of the American flag: Ihis piece is by George M. Conan" ,4
 Lowering of the lights: something dreadful is going to happen"
 Concentration of colored light upon so,brette: 'I am about to warble.
 Two or more joining hands and 'advanc-' ing: "All of us are about to burst into song.'' Rumble of tin sheets in wings "Weather forecast for this vicinity: se- were thunder storms"
 Bououet of red roses in hands or chorus ,,,,,. g..I clusters a la Newburg at 12.'
 Derby thrust down over his ears: My name is Izzy.'
 pillow under vest: T vass otto-celt following Irata wife comes upon adventures on hrsband's knee: Standing room only!'