Graham guardian., 1911-07-14
A QUEER
TOURNAMENT
BY ANDREW c. EWING
Copyright. 1910. by American Press
Association.

How Is 1t, Mr.. Martindale, SAID
Miss Ashby. "that you men talk to
each other as you do? Whenever you
and your chum, Mr.. Warren. are to-
gether you say all sorts Of mean things
to each other, but I don't see that
either Of you gets angry"
"Oh, we understand each other"
II wonder II Sadie and l could do
that"
mo. ypu couldn't without quarrel
Ing"
Miss Ashby was silent for moment.
then said. I'm going to try"
'I'll bet you pound Of candy
against cigar that you quarrel"
''l'll take the bet"
1t was agreed between us that the
two girls should have talking tourna.
ment while they played game Of ten
mis-, Dick Warren to furnish remarks
for Miss Blanchard. to be thrown In
occasionally. aud to do the same for
Miss sAshby. Empires were appointed,
and we oil met By appointment at the
court ~.
We permitted the girls to play for
awhile without furnishing any re-
marks, during which time they said
what they considered very trying
things to each other, laughing all the
while and congratulating themselves
on their ability to maintain good hu-
NOR. After the 6rst set had been play
ed Dick and |. each standing by the
girl he was to talk through. began to
put In an occasional word. producing
the following bits of dialogue:
"You give me another ball like that"
said Miss Ashby, "and I'll swipe you
with my racket"
| Miss Blanchard only smiled.
"Now you're showing your rhinoc-
| eros tusk." pursued Miss Ashby.
Miss Warren ceased to smile. In
deed. she looked very sober. The tooth
referred to was a blemish to her beau
! ty. Dick made her retort.
"That remark was one Of your own
You weren't told to say 1t ut all. l
think II real mean of you."
"Deuce!" cried Miss Ashby at my
| suggestion. claiming 10 points more
than she was entitled to-.
"You know very well its 30-40
What do you want to grab points like
that forY
"lf you knew" retorted the other.
what a mad looking thing you were
when you said that you'd put your
head to soak"
Miss Blanchard tried to laugh, but
was too sensitive to laugh Mt re-
! mark which was untrue.
II say. Clara" she said when her
opponent failed to take ball she
served. IF you'd stop looking sweet at
Mr.. Martindale you'd play better
game. Everybody knows what you're
up to In that direction"
Dick scored one In putting that re-
mark into Miss Blanchard's mouth.
Miss Ashby threw down her racket.
II don't care" she said. 1T doesn't
make any difference whether you were
prompted to say that or not: you had
no right TO say It," Her face was fiery
rcd. and her eyes were swapping.
Miss Blanchard had not got over the
remark about her tusk and seemed to
take malicious pleasure In saying
what Dick told her to say. sometimes
breaking into short bits of irritating
laughter.
"Sadie. If you don't stop that gig.
Cling you'll drive me crazy" made
Miss Ashby remark.
''Oh. don't be silly! You're making a
poor show Of yourself. You should
have brought a handglass."
you'd better have brought one
Yourself" retorted Miss Ashby. IF
you bad you'd have kept your tusk
hidden"
Miss Blanchard dropped her racket
and strobe off the field.
II didn't suppose" she said holly,
that this was to be tournament of
insults" ...a. "
Miss Ashby followed her. walking
erect and with great hauteur. "T think
you two men had better finish It." she
said .....
"pone" exclaimed both Dick and I,
and. picking up the rackets, we began
to play and to chat We both have
physical defects and did not refrain
from delicate mention Of them.
"Now I'm going to take you In the
bald spot on your forehead" from
Dick
And I'll knock one OF those spin
die pins from under you. Forty-thir.
ty."
"Thirty forty, you mean. Pity your
first baby lessons were In lying"
"You know very well you've Just out
Of jail for perjury"
"Now I'm going to put ball between
those bow legs Of yours. could throw
a barrel between lem"
(which eye are you locking Of me
with-the upper or the lpWerf'
When we had sent these delicate
compliments for awhile we threw our
arms around each other and kissed.
after the European fashion. on both
cheeks. This we did to show our su.
periority in the matter Of good nature
to the girls. The umpires decided that
I had won the bet, but aentepcsd ms
to pay It.
II have no desire whatever" said
Miss Ashby, tossing her head, ito ex.
Gel at any such game. a.
"Nor have l." Miss Blanchard
chlmed in.
I'm admit" ] said by way OF apQ|. |
ogy. that It's far more pleasant for |
friends to say nice things to each 9th
err"