davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

night, awakening from a dream that
he was being drowned, he found a ter
rifle thunderstorm in progress and the
rain streaming in on him through a
leak.
"Landlady! Landlady!' he yelled.
And in reply to his yells the old lady
staggered upstairs and into the room
with a big washtub. She pumped the
washtub down on top of the drummer,
and then said as she turned to depart:
There, son, now yer all right, an
jist as soon as the tub fills up you yell
agin, an I'll have another empty one
ready for ye.'"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12
DINNER STORIES.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES

Major John j. Dixon, of the State
Boxing Commission of New York, said
to a reporter apropos of certain rene
dies for ticket specializing:
These remedies promise to alleviate
the evil about as well as the old land
lady of the clearinghouse alleviated
the leaking roof.
"a drummer put up for the night was
under the roof. In the middle of the
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

JdmeS Il. OSueH, MIS-, WlllldIn l.. 6luIui
Mrs. E. Martin Philippi, Mrs. Albert
I. Phillips, Mrs. Franklin Phillips
Mrs. James S. Polhemus, Mrs. Louis
Plaut, Mrs. Joseph NJ. Riker, Mrs.
! Rose. Mrs. Abraham Rothschild, Mrs
George T. Rogers, Mrs. P. Sanford
Ross. Miss Harriet B. Steele, Mrs.
William Scheerer, Mrs. Tonic Savage,
Mrs. Charles Thatcher, Mrs. Frederick
L. Thorne, Mrs. Philetus w. Vail, Mrs.
Fred Wright Van Kuren, Mrs. John j.
Wright Clark, Mrs. Benjamin Atha,
Mrs. Harry G. Atha, Mrs. William
Linn Allen, Mrs. John D. Battin. Mrs.
Sylvester S. Battin, Mrs. Frederick H.
Ball, Mrs. Carroll P. Bassett, Mrs. Mil
ton E. Blanchard. Mrs. Roderick S.
Byington, Mrs. C. Blake Darlington
and Mrs. Campbell Clark.
Miss Kathryn Underfill, of Turrell
avenue, South Orange, will give a
bridge whist at her home on Tuesday
afternoon, December 10.
-
Mrs. Ernest C.. Klipstein, of SO Pros
pect street, East Orange, has issued in
~vitations for a reception at her home
on New Years Day.
-
The Fortnightly Club will be enter
tanned on Friday night at the residence
of Mr.. and Mrs. William L. Slater, 10
Chestnut street, East Orange.
-
Included among society events
during the holidays i. a dance
to be given on January 2 at
the Essex County Country Club by
Mr.. and Mrs. William S. Pitcairn, of
81 Harrison street, East Orange, for
their son, MI. Gilbert Pitcairn. Assist
ing Mr.. and Mrs. Pitcairn in receiving
will be their niece, Miss Margaret
Swift, of Hudson, N. Y.
-
Invitations have been issued by
Mrs. Francis George Hasselman, of
Turrell avenue. South Orange, for a
progressive hearts party followed by
dancing, to be given for her daughter,
Mary Dorothy Hasselman, on Satur-
day afternoon from 3 to s.
=
The prize winners at the meeting of
the Bridge Club, held yesterday after
noon at the home of Mrs. 3. c. Orsor,
20 Wilcox place, East orange, were Mrs.
Robert Slusser and Mrs. William Harm
ish. The club will be entertained Tues
day afternoon, December 26, at the
home Of Mrs. Mabel Brown, rs Wat
son avenue, East Orange.
-
Mr.. and Mrs. Chandler w. Riker, of
Mt. Prospect avenue this city, will
entertain at a dinner and dance Sat
urday night at the Essex County
Country Club in honor of their niece,
Miss Marguerite Street Riker, of this
city.
Mrs. William Scheerer, of Harrison
street, East Orange. will give a tea on
Thursday, December q, to formally in
troduce her daughter, Miss Lois
Scheerer. The tea will be followed by
a dinner and dance for members of the
receiving party.
Miss Harriet Mcclure, of Chicago,
who is visiting Miss Eleanor J.. Nc
Carter, of 1OS0a Broad street, this city,
will be the guest of honor Thursday
at a luncheon to be given by Miss Nc
Carter.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

To the Editor of the Evening Starr
do your Christmas shopping early"
1t seems as if for the first time in years
the 'omen are needing this cry of the
merchants. Daily the stores are
crowded and IN the evening the trolley
cars look like the interior of a baggage
car. Keep up the goot. work, friends,
and not only the management, but the
saleswomen of the stores will thank
YOU. MERCHANT.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12
SOCIAL NOTES
OF Newark and the Suburbs


In order to obtain better facilities
for the illustration of the latest meth
DDS in housekeeping, the College Wom-
ans Club of Essex County will meet
Friday in the Public Service building
instead of as originally planned at the
home of Mrs. Charles H. Hampton, of
IS Vernon terrace, East Orange. The
business meeting at $40 will be fol-
lowed by a supper prepared at the
Public Service building and a demon
~stration of the various l~abor-saving
! devices for the use of the housewife.
| The hostess, Mrs. Hampton, has been
| assisted in making the arrangements
by Mrs. Galen G., Perrett, Mrs. Bea-
trice Maybaum Stern and Mrs. William
o. Cooper.
Mrs. Walter K. Wildes, of Little
Falls, chairman of the department of
conversation of the State Federation of
Women's Clubs, will speak on Flores
try" at the meeting of the Woman's
Club, of Arlington, whic' will be held
this afternoon in the auditorium of the
Lincoln School, Arlington. The musi-
cal program will be given by Mrs.
Avililla Buckhout and Mrs. ]. H.
Kraus. The president, Mrs. E. E. ALL
bee. will be chairman of the day. She
will be assisted by Mrs. G. e. Van
Loon. Mrs. Jennie M. Wilson will be
the hostess. and the ushers will be
Miss Georgetta Cormier and Miss Lo-
retta Hurry.
Look Up, Not Down, In, Not Out"
was the topic considered by the discus
sion class of the Woman's Club, which
met last night at the club-rooms, Al
Hill street, this city. The meeting was
led by Mrs. H. S. Taylor.
-
The young ladies of the guild of the
Babies Hospital are making plans for
a dance to be given at the Washington
on Friday, December 20. Miss Dorothy
Lee is chairman in charge and she is
assisted by Miss Florence Elmore
Murphy, Mrs. Robert Southland, Miss
Eleanor j. McCarter, Miss Isabelle L.
McCarter and Miss Elizabeth Condict
Carter.
The ~patronesses are Mrs. Campbell
Clark, Mrs. Frederick F. Guild, Mrs.
George Everett Halsey, Mrs. Roderick
F. Byington, Mrs. James Gordon Tay-
lor, Mrs. Pierre S. Ross, Mrs. Franklin
Conklin, jr., and Mrs. Albert H. Atha.
Tickets may be obtained from Miss
Lee, 10 Lincoln Park; at the Newark
Exchange for Women's Work, 544
Broad street. and at Lauter's. 657
Broad street.
The subscription list includes Mrs.
John w. Howell, Mrs. William T. Hunt.
Mrs. Edward j. Ill, Mrs. Joseph S. ISL
dor, Mrs. Richard C. Jenkinson, Mrs.
Frederick C. Jacobson, Mrs. Gottfried
Kruger, Mrs. Herbert w. Knight,
Mrs. william B. Kinney, Mrs. Halsey
NJ. Larter, Mrs. Austen Fl. McGregor.
Mrs. Uzal H. McCarter. Mrs. Robert
son S. Ward, Mrs. Gustave Wieden-
mayer, Mrs. Benjamin S. Whitehead,
Mrs. e. A. WATSON, Mrs. James T.
Wrightson, Mrs. Alexander Ward, Mrs.
Franklin Conklin, Mrs. Henry L. Colt.
Mrs. w. ]. Dawson, Mrs. Waters B.
Day, Mrs. Richard Dieffenbach, Mrs.
Wilbur Doremus. Mrs. Charles Farrell,
Mrs. william p. Field, Mrs. Herbert p.
Gleason, Mrs. Frederick +. Guild, Miss
Annie Gwinnell, Mrs. George Everett
Halsey, Mrs. William A. Halsey, Mrs.
Peter Hauck, jr., Mrs. John r. Hardin,
Mrs. Arthur c.. Hensler, Mrs. James e.
Howell, Mrs. A. F. r. Martin, Mrs.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

cTa HE Hudson grand jury, in its presentment to the court, urges
the abolition of the present Board of Freeholders, six mem
bers of which body were arraigned in court yesterday to
plead to criminal indictments, and the substitution of a smaller
board similar to the new board elected on a general ticket that will
take charge of the Essex county government next month. If there
was nothing else to condemn the present beard the shocking con
ditions on the Newark Plank road would be enough to impel the
people of Hudson county to throw out the board, neck and heels.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

A w~ell-known actor received a ring as
a present from an admirer. Showing
it to a friend, he said the unexpected
ness of the gift reminded him OF an
open-air amateur performance of "As
You Like 1t" that he once ~rehearsed.
The rehearsal" he said, took place
in a garden that vas overlooked by a
building operation. AS my amateurs
postured and chanted the bard's beau
tiful lines bricklayers above us laid
bricks, carpenters planed boards and
masons Clipped stones.
And n afternoon during a silent
pause in our rehearsal we heard a
voice from the building operation say
gravely:
ct prithee, malapert, pass me yonder
brick"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12
Old Poem.

Il shot an arrow in the air,
1t fell to earth, 1 know not where,
But 1 can guess where. pretty near.
My next-door neighbor lost an ear"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12
What 1t Means.

She was reared in luxury, was she
not?'
"Yep-had everything on earth she
didn't need"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12
A Negative Quantity.

He never offended a person on earth,
OF high or of lowly degree;
And there's scarcely a person on earth
but inquiries,
When you mention his name, who's
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

ABoUT MEN,
(6UINoW

One OF the most u tasks hat
Rt. Rev. John ]. O'Connor, bishop of
the Newark diocese, has to perform is
confirming children. Last Sunday it
took fifty-three minutes of his time
doing that work at st. Joseph's Church,
where 45S children received the sacra-
ment of confirmation.
=
Judge Herr, sitting at the Fourth
Precinct Court yesterday morning, was
confronted by two girls who wished to
make a complaint.
Your honor, there are a lot of boys
who call us names every time we pass
them, and we want you to make them
stop it,"
What names did they cal you?"
asked the judge.
After taking a look around the court
room, one of the girls replied: "They
call us rats, paint and powder and all
names like that"
81 don't think they were mistaken,
as far as l can see. 1 refuse to take
the complaint"
Two Acknowledgment girls turned
and left the courtroom.
Gustave Bachman, a resident of
Roseville, does not deny that a short
time ago he was caught with the goods.
He had been out late and not caring
to have his better half know what
time he came in entered his home
noiselessly. just as ne got to his room
he heard his wife stir, and quick to
grasp the situation he started to rock
the baby's cradle.
What are you doing there?' was the
first question, and the answer was. II
have been for the last two hours try
ing to get the baby to sleep"
How strange, l have him in bed
with me-"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

A party of Manila army women were
returning in an automobile from a
suburban excursion when the driver
unfortunately collided with another
vehicle. While a policeman was taking
down the names of those concerned an
"English-speaking'' Filipino law stu
dent politely asked one of the ladies'
how the accident happened.
I'm sure l don't know she replied.
Il was asleep when it occurred"
Proud of his knowledge of the Anglo
Saxon tongue, the youth said:
"Ahi Then, madame, you will be able
to prove a lullaby"
A tourist in the mountains of Ten
nessee once had dinner with a quer-
ulous mountaineer who yarned about
hard times for fifteen minutes at a
| stretch.
why, man.. said the tourist, you
ought to be able to make lots of money
shipping green corr to the Northern
market"
Yes, I o~rter,' was the sulIen reply,
You have the land, I suppose, and
can get the seed"
yes, l guess So"
"Then. why don't you go into the
| speculation?
mo use, stranger" sadly replied the
cracker, the old woman Is too lazy
to do the plowin' and plantin'."
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12
PR@sT}dN

The STAR extends the privilege
OF these columns to the public and
not more than one hundred word
treating of topics of the hour.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12
Giveaway.

That's a very successful young
man"
ooh. I don't think SO. He inherited
his money"
What makes you think so?p
The shape of his head"
Good Sign.
Bobbs-Snobbs has quit smoking,
hasn't he?
Dobbs-What makes you think so?
Bobbs-I saw him kicking the dog
this morning.
A mans reputation oftentimes has to
smoker every time it peeks at him.
Laughing till your false teeth fall
out is carrying the fur too far.
The shoemaker should stick to his
last and the husband to his first.
Let us at least be glad that Wall
Street cannot control the circulation
of the blood.
When you whack up with another
fellow, somehow or other you both have
enough.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12
A Figure.


He's aaperfectly impartial umpire "a
very popular, then, isn't he?"
quite the contrary. He's cussed by
both sides instead of one."
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

You don't find honest men by look
ing for them with lanterns, but you
can find dishonest ones by setting your
lantern dow and going away for a
| bft
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

A d~og-catcher in Colorado has been
bitten by 1000 dogs. and he admits
that everyone of the dogs died.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

The old family horse halts a bit, but
he doesn't run out of gasoline.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

Today you see something advertised in the Star wants. The
advertisement may be repeated again tomorrow, or even the fol-
lowing day, and then discontinued.
Somebody has accepted the offer made. Every day people
who have things to sell tell their stories in a few words in Star
want ads, and every day new people tell about new things.
Because the Star is a homeread newspaper these offers are
quickly accepted. No matter what you want, Office, room, horse,
auto, position, help, house or anything else you can get il quick
Iy through reading or using Star want ads.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

Yet a few more days n water
on-the-brain becomes i~clcles-on-the-
ears.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12
Just By the Way
Preciou. stdAe.

Precious STOKES.
What did Mr.. Titewad give YOU on
your wedding anniversary"
"Cut glass"
Tableware"
mo, a necklace"
A Figure.
he v the bottle, doesn't he?"
Well, you might use that figure of
speech. He loves the bottle like the
politician loves the Dear ~Peepul-for
what he can get out of it."
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12
Good Sign.

A mans reputation oftentimes has to
smoker every time it peeks at him.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

Laughing till your false teeth fall
out is carrying the fun too far.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

The shoemaker should stick to his
last and the husband to his first.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

Let us at least be glad that Wall
Street n control the circulation
of the blood.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

Miss Harriet Mcclure, of Chicago
who is visiting Miss Eleanor j. Nc
Carter, of 10s0a Broad street, this city
will be the guest of honor Thursday
at a luncheon to be given by Miss Nc
Carter.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-12-12

When you whack up with another
fellow, somehow OF other you both have
enough.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-11-01

wrote today to Jim to find out what
to do about the roofs.
"John Skies, young fellow, who
had bought old 81 Maher's place,
when nobody would live in it because
it was so damp and musty, on account
Of the Ieaky roofs, was sitting in the
corner. He had fixed the old place
up, and was making all kinds of
money raising pigeons, and the old
house was as dry as bone.
'"Mr Hicks, says Skies, you
use Genasco Roofing, made by the
Asphalt Paving Company, of Phila-
delphia, like | did, and you will put
a roof on your place at small cost,
an I'll bet you five dollars you will
get couple of hundred dollars more
for your place.
Before George could say anything
the telegraph operator handed him a
telegram from his son George opened
1t and 1t just said: Use Gensco
Roofing l will expect you next week.
"And George got the roofing, laid
it himself sold his place for five
hundred dollars more than he paid
for 1t, and moved away inside OF a
week."
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-11-01
How George Sold the Farm.

1--WE were all sitting arond the stove
down in Bill Luken's general store
the other night" said Sam Miller,
"and we were talking about how much
work we were going to do when it had
stopped raining. 1t had been rain
ing off and on every day for week,
and it did come down like pitch
forks most of the time.
All at once we noticed that George
Hicks was standing by the counter
with "A most solem look on his face.
None of us had heard him come in,
and we were all surprised to see him
and not hear him, because he always
let's you know he is coming. He
hadn' It been around for a week, either.
Erred Pettingill, who was telling
about his new carriage, stopped talk
ing and exclaimed, Hello, George
What makes you look so solemn?
Somebody sick? George sat down.
'Boys!' he began slowly, you know
my son Jim went to town when he
was young, and now he is treasurer
of big company up there. He wants
me to sell the the farm and come live
near him. He bought a nice little
place for me, out in the sub urbs, and
says l can raise enough on it to sup
ply us with food, and have things
pretty easy Mother and was both
pretty we'll took with the idea, and
decided to sell the old place advertise
in the city papers, just about the time
it started to rain, and in the last two
weeks over twenty people have been
to see the farm.
The roofs on our place are all
shingle and tin, and they most all leak
| was going to put new ones on this
spring, ii we hadn't decided to move.
We'll, every time anybody came
the roofs were leaking to beat the
band, and nobody would touch the
place. Jim Is waiting every day for
US to come, and mother is worrying
because we can't sell the place. just
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-11-01

breaking gr1ndStOne. IOol Snarpen-
ing now has been transformed from
grindstone drudgery to quick easy,
work by the inventing OF better abra-
sives and the application Of advanced
machines to sharpening machines.
The most conspicuous example Is
the new Luther Hummer" Tool
Grinder brought out by the Luther
Mfg. Co. of Milwaukee, Wis. The
Hummer" has wheels OF Dino
Grit, which is a twin product of
| Carborundum, but it is the most
suitable abrasive for steel. Dino
Grit is six times more efficient than
emery wheels, twenty five times faster
than the grindstone, needs no cool
ing with water and will not draw
temper from steel. Unlike any other
fast abrasive, it leaves!.the bevel OF
the tool perfectly smooth, which is
why 1t Is 80 especially adapted for
sharpening tools. The Hummer"
machine Is made entirely Of metal,
has ballbearing, beveI gear shaft
drive enclosed in dust proof housing
and gravity fabrication. 1t runs by
pedals like bicycle, or can be run
OF tool sharpening, making any grind
ihS VI pOhiuS JOO UhO OuOy WI n
OF only a few moments. Sharp tools
mean easier, quicker work for every
tool user, so besides saving time In
tool sharpening it saves time, strength
aud money In all the everyday work
of tool-users, farmers, mechanics,
carpenters blacksmiths, contractors,
shops, etc.
Besides its value As a tool grinder,
the Luther Hummer Tool Grinder has
% attachments available, which makes
it one OF the most all around useful
machines on the farm. Over one
third of the COWS OF America are milk
ed at loss, and by the use OF the
milk tester attachment, the profitable
COWS can be selected and the "robber"
COWS discarded. The flexible shaft
attachments enable the farmer to
sharpen enslage or threshing machine
knives without removing them, thus
saving time in the busy season. The
Hummer can also be connected to a
cream separator or churn, and the
work done by foot power, which is
vastly easier than doing it by hand.
With the different attachments it can
be used as horse or sheep clipper, jig
saw, rip saw, drill turning lathe, etc.
in fact, it is whole workshop in
itself, making everyday work easier
and saving time and money in count
less ways.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-11-01
Hnloitg Our Patrons
Labor Saving Devices.

The twentieth century slogan is
''save emery, save time, save money. !"
The most brilliantly inventive minds
of the world are chiefly concerned
in discovering new ways OF doing
things that will effect time. money
and labor saving. Some Of the ac-
complisments along these lines during
the last hundred years are sort of
marvellous, for example. the telephone
with Its web of wires covering the
remotest corners of the world, or the
gasoline engine, pumping water,
hauling freight, driving boats. pillow
ing fields, driving machinery.
Modern machinery makes work
that once was slavery easy. Take for
instance, tool sharpening. There is
hardly grown man today but who
had his experience with the back
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1911-11-01
FAR II Err s.
CLASSIFIED

Advertisements viii be printed in this
department at the low cost of 2 cents per
word. No display type or illustration ad-
mitted under this heading. Each number
and initial letter counts as one word. Cash
must invariably accompany the order. Re-
NIT by Postoffice Order. Everybody reads
these little ads Try Farmers" Classified
"adv. for results