davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
FROLIC WAS COSTLY
RoYsTERERs PAID FOR TT WITS
HIGH POSITIONS.
Unfortunate Series Of incidents tlss
Result Of Future King Of Westpks.
Has Desire for Just ~Oas
More Night"

J Previous TO his elevation to the SOW
ereignty. Jerome BonapaTts had
formed a friendship with some young
suthors at that time in vogue for thcisI
Wit and reckless gayety. On the even
/ ing after his nomination to the crown
/ OF Westphalia he met two OF his 10
vial companions just as he was leaV-
ing the theater. My dear fellows"
said he, Il am delighted to see you. q
suppose you know that | have been
created king of Westphalia?" Yes,
sire, and permit us to be among the
| first" "Eh, what! You ar cere-
monious. methinks: that might pass
were / surrounded by my court. but
at present away with form and let Us
be of to supper"
Upon this Jerome took his friends
to one of the best restaurateurs in the
Palais Royal. The three chatted and
laughed, and said and did q thousand
OF those foolish things which when I'M
premeditated are so delightful 10
may be supposed that the converse
tlOn was not kept up without drinking
When the wine they had drunk began
to take effect, My good friends" said
Jerome. why should we quit each
each other? If you approve of my pro-
pOsal you shall accompany me. You,
c., shaIi be my secretary; as for you,
P, who are fond of books, ! appoint
you my librarian" The arrangement
was accepted and ratified over a fresh
bottle OF champagne
At length the party began to think
of leaving, and accordingly called for
the bill. Jerome produced bis purse,
but the king of Westphalia could only
find two louis, which formed but a
small portion of 2OOf, the amount Of
the bill. The new dignitaries, by
clubbing their wealth, could only mus
ter about ST.
What was to be done? At one
o'clock in the morning where could
resources be found? They determined
to send for the master of the house
and acQuaint him how matters stood.
He seemed to take the frolic In good
part, and merely requested to know
their names. Having told him, the
restaurateur set his customers down
as sharpeTs, and threatened to send
for the commissary of police. This
alarmed Jerome, who, seeing that the
restauTateur doubted them, handed
over his watch in payment This
watch had been a present from NapO-
leon, and on the back was the en-
peTOr's cipher in brilIiants
On examining the watch the res
taurateur concluded that il had been
stolen, and took it to the commissary
of police. The latter, recognizing the
imperial cipher, ran with it to the
project. The project few to the min
lister Of the interior, and he in turn
went to the emperor at st. Cloud.
Next morning the Moniteur contained
an ordinance in which Jerome was Or
dered to Mestphalia at once, and pro-
/ hiDited from comforting any appoint
ments till his arrival at his capital
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Biggest Dam in the World.

The secretary of the interior has di.
rected the reclamation service to take
up Immediately the extensive prelim-
mary YORK on the Rio Gran6e project
in New Mexico and Texas. so that
actual construction on the foundations
OF the Eagle dam shall be finished by
July, 1911.
The Rio Grande project, of which
the Eagle dam is the most important
engineering feature, will provide for
the reclamation of 10000 acres Of land
lying in New Mexico, Texas and Mex
ico, in the valley where irrigation be-
gan before the discovery of America.
1t is estimated that the entire pro-
Ject will cost approximately $4,000, 900.
The Eagle dam as planned by the rec
lalnation service will be one of the
most remarkable structures of its kind
IN the world. 1t will be Of rubble con-
crete, gravity type, with a maximum
height of 265 feet, length of crest !, 400
feet, and will contain 100000 cubic
yards. The reservoir created by it
will be the largest artificial body of
water in the world, having a capacity
of 2,538,000 acre feet, or enough water
to cover that many acres a foot deep.
It's capacity is nearly double that of
the Roosevelt dam in Arizona and is
considerably greater than that of the
famous AssOuan dam, constructed and
recently enlarged by the English en-
gineers on the Nile.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
QUEER INDIAN BELIEFS.
vac Bella CoeIa Believe There Are
Five Worlds and Are Worship
ers of the Sun.

There Is an odd feature in the theos-
sxy Of the small Indian tribe Of the
Bella COOla which inhabit British Co
Ambia In about latitude So They be-
1sve that there are Eve worlds. one
above tae other. and the middle one "a
eur own world. the earth. Above II
are two heavens, and under It are two
underwOrlds. In tue upper heaven IL
ehe supreme deity. who Is a woman.
and she doesn't meddle much With the
affairs ia the second world below her.
The zenith is the center OF the lower
heaven. and here is the house OF the
gods, 10 which live the sun and the
rest OF the deities.
Our own earth Is believed TO be an
STAND swimming In the ocean. The
Grst underworld from the earth is In
habited by ghosts. who can return,
When they wish. TO heaven, from which
place they may be sent down TO our
earth. II then they misbehave again
they are cast into the lower Of the un-
derwOTIds. and from this bOuru no
ghOstly traveller returns.
The Bella Coola are sun worshipers,
for Senex. the sun. the master of the
AOuSe Of gods who is called the father
and the sacred one. IS the only deity
20 whom the tribe pray. Each family
OF the Bella COOla has its own tradi-
lions and its Own form OF the cur
rent traditions. so that In the mytholo-
gy Of the tribe there are countless con-
TadiCtiOnS. When any one not mem
Der Of a clan tries to tel! q tradition
Is like white man trying to tell an
others tOke-he is considered as ap-
propriating the property right which
does not belong to him.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Lon ReaIisfin

During a performance OF "Captain
LapaliSse" at q Valencia thPater some
years ago an incident occurred which
for lifeIike effect left nothing to be de-
sired. During the said play some OF
the actors mingle with the spectators
In order to cooperate from the body
Of the house. No sooner had MiralIes,
the actor. taken his seat in the stalls
than a daring pickpOcket robbed him
OF his gold watch MiraIles seized the
man by his coat collar and called out
In deep bass voice:
"PoIice! Help! ThievesP'
The audience. taking this little epi-
sode to be part Of the performance.
roared with laughter. Even the police
men Joined in without stirring hand or
foot.
''This is no farceg' cried the actor
in tones of despair. "The fellow has
got my watchr'
The voice sounded so natural that
the audience broke into loud applause
at ''such excellent fOOling" Meanwhile
the thief managed to break away from
his captOr and escaped.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
The Wonderful BANANA

Some people believe that the banana
was the original forbidden fruit of the
garden Of Eden. In any case it is one
Of the curiOsities Of the vegetable
Kingdom. being not a tree, a palm. a
bush, shrub, a vegetable or a herb.
but a heTbaceous plant with the status
OF tree. Although it sometimes at
tains a height Of thirty feet, there is
no woody fiber in any part Of its strue-
ture, and the lunches growing on the
dwarf banana plant are often heavier
than the stalk which supports them
No other plant gives such a quantity
OF food to the acre as the banana. 1t
yields Il times more by weight than
the potato and 133 times more than
wheat Moreover, no insect Will at
tack il. and 1t is always immune from
diseases OF any kind
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Saved BY Eirefies.

The gigantic tropical frefies which
swarm in the forests and canebrakes
OF most OF the low lying West Indian
Islands once proved the salvation Of
the city OF SantO Domingo A body Of
buccaneers, headed by the notorious
Thomas Cavendish, had laid all their
plans for a descent upon the place, III
tending to massacre the inhabitants
and carry away all the treasure they
conveniently could, and had actually
put of their boats for that purpose.
AS they approached the land, however,
rowing with muffied oars, they were
greatly surprised to see an Infinite
number Of moving lights in the woods
which fringed the bayou up which
they had to proceed, and, concluding
that the Spaniards knew of their ap-
prOach, they put about and regained
their ship without attempting TO land.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
JAPANESE ENGLISH.
\ Sample Circular Composed by Ma
tive Tradesman With an observa-
ton on the Servant Problem.

There comes from q correspondent b
Japan this example Of circulars In
English that japanese tradesmen some
times compose:
Dear Sir-I have the honour 60
write letter for you that I have now
established the meat market and It's
branch 10 deliver the meat as one OF
the branch OF my Slaughter house. as
which ! have many cattle. their pas
lures. their markets. milk houses. aud
3 Slaughter house. etc. and ! will have
q fresh meat with the most cheapest
price from my slOughter house than
other buchery and especially make you
many reduction for every dag pur.
chaser for month beg you can soOa
make me your order without your
servants commission. 'aS you know
your servant Is always making money
By your meat ! will make you the
pasS-bOOk for the creditor only.
"P. S.-If you handed bad meat from
your servant while you are making
purchases the meat from my market
every day. you will soon to let It ex-
change by the servant without any
hesitation. PIE 81 make me your or
der. and II you can make me order by
letter | will have the postage rPduc-
ton from the count of meat with kind
regards. Your ."-BOston Tran
script
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Wrong Name for a Card Sharp.

When John A. STosnider was ar
raigned before United States Commis-
siOner Morle in Brooklyn, charged
with aiding young Coleman to rob the
National City bank of Cambridge,
Mass. of large amount of money, O.
policeman of German extraction said:
That's the first time I've heard a
card sharp called by that name The
name was surely Strohschneider once
on a time and was Americanized into
what it Is now. SnOhschneider is
German for straw cutter, but when
ever Germans play cards they have
only one name for the man who makes
unpardonable mistakes, who trumps
his partners ace, who can't count i3
and who disregards rules, and that
name is 'Strohschneider.' II were
IN the card business I'd never have
any confidence in a man with that
name"
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Innuendo.

When founded on fact, the malicious
hint often does vastly more harm than
the full disclosure. 1t has about it an
air of mystery which brings on a train
of imaginings and hegets groundless
suspicious which would quickly melt
into thin air were the whole truth
known. More especially is this the
case when the evil hint is blended
with words of commendation. He's
an honest and a temperate man, etc,
but" Oh, that mean, vile, hypocriti-
cal little but that has severed SO
many friendships and befouled so
many a fair name! Where so much of
good is spoken and the mean little
but" uttered with a regretful sigh it
often looks like real pity. In reality
it is but decking out and garlanding
the victim for the sacrifice. The en-
comium is used only as a means Of at
tanning a dastardly purpose; with
coIors faireT painting their foul ends. -
The slandeTer Is frequently but a
clumsy blunderer. Not so the skiIfuI
innuendo man. He at least is no bun
gler. He is a real tactician, a genu-
inc strategist. He is verify the refine
ment Of cruelty.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
a Judicial Expert.

The native with a stOgie met the na.
tive with a pipe.
''HOwdy. ZebY" quoth the stogie ma
tive. Hear bout tn fuss down to
tn courthouse?'
Nope" drawled the man with the
pipe What was it abOut?"
"Why, Jim Simpson has been sum
Abner Hawley for alienatin' th' af-
feCtiOns of his wife. an Jedge Mus
grove told tn jury to bring IN a YER
dick of cents damages. cause he
thought that was all the damage was
worth to Jim. An Jim's wife got mad
an threw a chair at tn jedge. an he
had her arrested an put In tn cooler"
But didn't tn jedge go a leetle too
far when he fixed her value so low"
Not at all. not at all! You see. be
was her first husband"
Plain Dealer.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Best Way to Telephone.

when | telephone while sitting, as
customarily do" said a woman who
telephones a good deal, Il habitually
speak in a low tone, not very much
above a whisper; when telephone
standing up / don't shrek exactly, but
/ find myself always speaking in a
loud tone. suppose thhe reason for
these things Is simple enough. When
am sitting I am comfortable and en-
tirely at ease bodily and inclined to
do things easily, and then ! can adjust
the telephone to exactly the most con-
Venient height and angle and speak
into It quite withoH4 effort; it is all
very easy, whereas when | have to
stand at a telephone some effort is re-
quired in that / am more or less rigid
to start with, and then the telephone
may be one fixed IN position. may
have to bend my face more or less up
or down to the tTansmitter, to stand
in a position more or less constrained,
and then when | ccme to speak | al
ways find myself, as you might say.
shouting into the telephone. Il is my
experience that / make myself heard
more surely when sitting and tele-
phOning as l do then, easily and in
low tone"
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
LACEMAKING.
An Old Legend That Tells of ths orl-
Gin Of the Art.

An Old Legend That Tells of ths orl.
Gin of the Art.
LacPmaEing Is by no means so old
an industry as most PERSONS suppnSe.
There Is no proof that Il existed pre-
vious to the fifteenth century. and the
oldest known painting IN which IL ap-
pears Is d portrait OF a lady In The
academy at venice painted 10y Caspac-
clio. who died about l523. The legend
concerning the origin of the art is as
follows:
young fisherman OF the Adriatic
was bPtrothed to a young and bPauti-
ful girl of one of the isles Of the la
COON. industrious as she was beauIi-
ful. the girl made a new net for her
lover, who took Ii with him on boa rd
his boat The first time be cast II into
the sea be dragged thPrefrOm an Pxqui-
site petri6ed wrack grass. which he
FASTENED TO present to bis fianCPe; but,
war breaking out, the fisherman was
pressed into the service of the VPne-
ton navy. The poor girl wept at The
departure of her lover and cOntPm-
plated his last gift to her. While alb
sOTbed in following the intricate ira
cery OF the wrack grass she began TO
twist and plait the threads weighted
with small beads which hung around
her net. Little by little sne wrought
an imitation Of the petrifica ton. and
thus was created the bObbin lace.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
PAYS TO ENCOURAGE BIRDS
Assertion Made That Farmers WouId
Find II to Their Interest to
Protect songsters.

What may be done In the encourage
ment Of naturally migratory song birds
to remsin north during the winter has
been demonstrated at the farmhouse
OF George E. Hoxsie during the last
winter. where colony of IL bluebirds
have contentedly lived and apparently
enjoyed their quarters In the bird
houses where they were reared last
summer.
1t Is quite interesting to watch their
modes OF living, as their habits of pro-
! curing food have to be entirely differ
ent from what they are In summer.
Every fairly pleasant morning by
the time 1t is light they fly away and
are not seen again until near sunset,
when they return individually and go
into the bird houses, several occupying
one house, and all on the same build
ing.
Mr.. Hoxsie has about his place %
bird houses, all of which were accu-
pied last season, there being two nests
OF bluebirds and 20 nests OF stump
swallows
Besides these there were raised
about the buildings four nests Of barn
swallows, one nest of chimney swal-
lows, and seven nests of cave swat
lows. AS these would average four
young birds to each nest, the number
raised, with the old ones added. would
make approximately 200 birds.
Then there were within 500 feet of
the house ten robin nests, one oriole.
one waxwing, one house wren, two
chippins. two ground sDarrows and one
king bird, making in all 18 nests, and
with ,LesL young and old added would
make a total of 300 insect-destroying
sOngsteTs that were not only a cOntin-
ual JOY, but a source of rare profit in
tie great number of gnats, lies, bugs
and worms daily consumed.
Mr.. HOxsie attributes a big yield OF
apples last season to the destruction
by the birds of the insect pest that in
fects the apples from bloom to finish.
If every farmer would put up a few
suitable bird houses it would soon
make vast difference to the raising
OF farm Westerly Sun.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
THE DELUGE.
Queer Old Australian Tradition About
the Flood.

Queer Old Australian Tradition About
the Flood.
The aboriginal blacks Of Australia
have queer tradition about the food
They say that at one time there was
no water on the earth at all except In
the body of an immense frog, where
men and women could not get at It
There was great council on the sub
jeCt. and Ii was found out that if the
frog could be made to laugh the wa
terS would run OUT Of his mouth and
the drought be ended.
So several animals were made to
dance and caper before tho frog to in
dGcs him TO laugh. but be did not even
smile. and so the waters remained In
his body. Then some one happened to
think OF the queer contOrtiOns into
which the eel could twist itself, and 1t
was stTaightway brought before the
frog. and when the frog saw the wrig
Cling he laughed so loud shat the
whole earth trembled. and the waters
poured out of his mouth In a great
food, IN which many people were
drowned
The black people were saved from
drowning by the pelican This thought
ful bird made a big canoe and went
with 1t among all the islands that ap-
peared here and there above the sur
face of the water and gathered in the
black people and saved them.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
SM0KELESS POWDER.
81 Came Through Experimenting For
High Explosives.

tt Came Through Experimenting For
High Explosives.
The Idea is very general that smoke
Tess powder In being practically
smokeless achieves its greatest end,
but as a matter OF fac, its smOkeless
feature is incidental and was an ac-
cident
When the idea Of modern long range
guns was conceived it was at once ap-
parent that the old black powder lack
ed explosive force. and thousands OF
experiments were made with various
chemicals to procure powder Of high
explosive properties, and this was at
last accomplished.
When the new powder was tried,
much to the surprise of every one it
was found that practically no smoke
followed the explosion, though this
could OF course have been predicted
had the question ever arisen. The
volume Of smoke from black powder
Is due mainly to the quantity Of char
coal in the powder. an ingredient not
found In the smokeless explosive.
SmOkeleSs powder. though a great
boon to the sportsman, is Of question
able value on the battlefield. so far as
It's smOkeleSsness is concerned. The
smoke clouds Of old days were fire.
suently most advantageOusly used to
cloak movements Of troops and bat
0eries and really interfered with the
anpmv muPh mora than With fba
tCOOps creating the smOke.-Exchange
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
SINGER and Orator.

IF ! had my way" DR.. Mcnamara
once confessed to an interviewer, II
should be singing in Carmen instead
or making speeches from the treasury
bench. but unfortunately the British
public thinks great deal more Of q
man who can make a bad speech than
man who can sing a good song."-
Westminster Gazette.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Lead Pencil Erneriments.

An English statistician was asked
how many words could be written
with an English lead pencil, and, be
ing determined to answer it, he bought
a lead pencil and Scott's "Ivanhoe"
and proceeded to copy the latter word
by word He wrote 95.6OS words and
then was obliged to stop. for the pen
ell had become so short that be could
not use it, A German statistician who
heard Of this experiment was dissat.
isfied with it because all the lead in
the pencil was not used on the work,
and therefore he bought a pencil and
started to copy a long German novel.
Whea the pencil was so short that he
could not handle it with his fingers
be attached a holder to 1t. and it is
said that he wrote with this one pen
ell 100000 words. Possibly, however,
his pencil was longer or the lead in
it was OF more durable quality.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Couldn't Fool That Bow

An uptown minister, interested IL
social work. is still laughing over a re
cent experience with one of the small
boys whose Teclaiming into the paths
Of virtue he makes his special prov
ince.
It was a frecklefaced little urchin
whom he had in hand, the leader of a
gang Of tiny terrors. With a saucy
leer, the youngster asked him what he
did for a livin'?"
81 am a messenger Of God" replied
the minister, solemnly.
The urchin looked skeptical.
where's your bicycIe?" he said
Philadelphia Times.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
When Silence Is Deadly.

Silence is commonly the slow poison
used by those who mean to murder
love. There is nothing violent about
It. No shock Is given. Hope is not
abruptly strangled, but merely dreams
OF evil and fights with gradually sti-
fllng shadows. When the last cOnyul-
sions come they are not terrific. The
frame has been weakened for dissolu-
ton. Love dies like natural decay. It
seems the kindest way Of doing a
cruel thing.-George Meredith.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Curiasities o. sunerstition.

When Egypt was in the height of
her power. when she was most highly
civilized and delighted In being called
the mistress Of the land and sea, her
people wOrshiped a black bull. There
was some discrimination, however,
even in this form OF worship. in order
to be an object of mad alteration 1t was
necessary that the bull calf be born
with circular white spot in the ex-
act center of his forehead. ard the
advent Of such a creature In any herd
was the signal of wild demonstrations
from the Mediterranean to the border
Of the Lybian desert, Even as late as
the time Of Cleopatra. star eyed god
desS, glorious sorcereSS of the Nile,
such animals were shOd with gold and
had their horns tipped with the same
metal HerodOtus tells of a man who
died with grief because he sold a cow
that soon after became the mother Of q
black bull calf marked with the sacred
white circle in his forehead.
The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Black Eye For Blackstone.
Phone Main 23i5


~Your honor" said Moman Pruiett,
the criminal lawyer, ''sinCe reports
and modern law are not sufficient TO
convince you. let me read this section
from Blackstone, the father Of the
common law. an Undoubted authority.
He supports my contention precisely"
you had as well sit down, Mr.. Pru-
lett. 1 have decided the point against
you," replied the court. You need
not cite more cases. | have overruled
your demurrer and do not care to hear
you read the section"
81 know you have. your honor.
know you have" sarcastically said the
redoubtable lawyer. Il know it, but /
just wanted to show the court what
fool Blackstone was."-Kansas City
Times.
First Use Of the Word kerosene"
The word kerosene" seems to have
been first used in the United States
patent No. 1862 Of March u, 1855,
granted to Abraham Gesner Of VIII
liamsbuFg, \. Y. and assigned to the
North American Kerosene Gaslight
company. In the preamble to his spec
ification Gesner states that he has
invented and discovered a new and
useful manufacture or composition Of
matter, being a new LIQUID hydrocaF-
bon which | denOminate kerosene.
So far as we are aware and so far as
the patent office examiners are aware,
this Is the first instance IN which the
word kerosene was suggested as a
trademark or a name for what was
then generally called rock or-"-
Scientific American
Ceremonious and Deadly Dull.
The first executive mansion was in
Philadelphia. a three story brick build
lug with small paned windows and
heavy brass knocker on the door.
Formal state dinners took place on
Thursdays at ! O'Clock. with from ten
to twenty guests. Friday evenings
Mrs. Washington held her drawing
rooms. Plum cake. tea and coffee were
served at Q o'clock. after which Mrs.
Washington rose and dismissed her
guests. as though they were little chill
dren too long lingering at q party.
'-The general was the naive formula,
always retires az 9, and usually pre-
cede him" The whole affair was stu
pendously ceremonious and deadly
dnII-Scrap Book.