Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
HOW TO CARVE A GOOSE.

HOW TO CARVE A GOOSE.
The turkey is not the only insect
suitable for q able by any means.
There Is its half-step-cousin-in-laW
the goose. that nobl animal Which is
min parts bone and one part pessim-
ism. A 19-pound goose will provide:
enough meat for one person, II he ia q
vegetarian, but getting the meat off the!
goose is one of the tricks which every.
householder must learn.
The first step in the carving of a
goose Is to get a life insurance policy.
You can do this, providing you have
the price and can pass a medical ex-
animation. Some men prepare to carve.
a goose by Joining a fraternal insurance
society. Then you put on a rubber suit
and go into the room alone With the.
goose. The only Implements YOU need
are a carving knife, crosscut saw, crow
bar, four sticks of dynamite, one for
each corner of the loose n axe. a
hammer and nails, jackplane, c.aisel and
a burglar outfit.
First remove the wings. You will
find h a the wings do not nook on;
under the collar button of the goose as,
they do on the turkey, but are fas-.
tened on the bridge of the goose be-
tween the pilot house and the walking:
beam. You tackle the wings with your,
make several strokes. as the goose is.
a very active bird in his stuffed and
roasted state, and when you hit him,
you are just AS apt as not to find him
back Of the clock on the dining room
mantel, or on the top shelf OF the
china closet. After starting the re-
moval Of the wings with the axe, vow
can finish up with the crowbar and
crosscut saw after mailing the goose.
firmly to the floor. The legs you re-
the goose with the burglar outfit I'M
order to get at the dressing. Burglar
and fireprOOf geese must, Of course. he
kandled by more strenuous methods.
That Is about all that can be said i'm
a general a OF course every goose
geese have. and the carver must use.
iris own judgment in overcoming them.
The goose we carved disappeared
through q window after we hit him the
fourth time with the axe. n we think
he landed In our next door neighhor's
chimney, as our neighbours stove has
smoked ever since.
THE 1911 PATTERN.
"Oh, mammal cried the young of.
spring
In terror and despair.
'Oh, what can be that funnE thinx.
That's standing over there:
La 1t some strange wild animal
Brought from a foreign shore?
Oh. tell me, ma, for I've not e
A thing like that before"
The mother soothed the little lad.
Who In grim terror shook,
And said. Those things are not so had
o really. ~ they look.
n. VIII not bite my angel child,
He's harmless az a toy:
Tn thing you see IL nothing wild.
But just a college boy"
THE GOOD OLD WINTER TIME.
Soon comes the good old winter time
with all Its shakes and chills, it's soau
stones and It's arnicky. It's plastArs and
us Pills. It's rheumatic and chilblains.
and IT'S asthma and it's grip. it's hannels
and its oyershNes and cen its weather.
strip; IT. blizzard from Dakota ana it'd
rain n sleet and snow which serve ia
oft remind you OF the coal bills that
You W The ladies' literary cluba
again have struck their gait and
tatherH getting supper now when
mother stays out late. The nations
being cared for by the men down at the
store. They're fixing up the politics
list IL under way and mother r. IN
dount and she In worrying a lot on how,
she VIII come out. We're hayin, bu,k.
wheat e. against instead Of cornek
ncef nash and all the younger kids are
akeered they'll break out with a rash3
The baby has been sewed up for the
wInser IN z sack Ind won't come Out
back. Grandma IL knitting mittens and
the storm doors are all up and mother,
mas GOT Jelly In most every elaas and,
cup. Thu b~ackyard's full OF ood!
ano we ase all hxed. by gum. 9farf,
tne DIlxsards. See II We care. let the
a new lnsulator for uae IN n~