davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
WAS A NARROW ESCAPE.

I am often asked what is my mar.
rowest escape. Perhaps the following
is the closest shave l have had. was
experimenting the dispatch of some
animals at the railway station in Ham
burg, when a half-grown elephant,
which was standing in one Of the
trucks with its legs chained, sudden
ly turned round and tried to pin me to
the wall. l was at that moment ex-
amining cage containing monkeys.
When I entered the car / knew the
elephant was cross and should have
kept my face towards him. Instead
OF doing SO turned round to look at
something and at that moment the
brute went for me- He tried to pin
me to the wall; but fortunately for me
his tusks were too wide apart for him
to properly grip me. The tusks just
grazed my skin on each side OF my
back. One of utg men rushed to the
rescue and pulled me down between
the animals head and che wall. Then
they stood me ON my feet to soc If
my back was broken. With the excep-
ton Of torn d4othing and a grazed
skin. was all Tfght-Carl Hagenbach
in the Wide World Magazine.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
KNEW NAME AND ADDRESS
rhree-Year.old Wanderer Had Them
Down Pat and Was Not
Afraid.

Arrived at the mature age of three,
Casper H. Miller, Jr., of 10,623 Ia
coma avenue, has taken to exploring
the neighborhood. Sometimes he
strays. But since everybody, along
with his sisters, his cousins and his
aunts, knows the young gentleman,
he is never allowed to get out of
sight. That is, almost never.
The other day was one Of those e1-
ceptional days when all hands were
busy and the youngster wandered
away, fetching up at McVeigh's the
dairy,uan, in Hathaway avenue. He
didn't seem bit afraid, either.
whats your name, little man?"
asked Mr. McVeigh.
Casper Hart Miller" was the re-
ply. Only, he pronounced it Hart
miller" Mcveigh hunted in vain
through the city directory and the
telephone book for any Hartmiller.
Where do you live, Casper?" was
the next inquiry.
Eddy 391X," was the immediate
reply, and with the aid Of the chief
operator of the Eddy exchange the
street and number were quickly fixed,
The name Hartmiller looks 80 good
to the boys father that he contem-
plates adopting 1t for family USE
Cleveland Leader.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
WORST PENMEN IN CONGRESS
Sparkman of Florida and Adamson Of
Georgia Share That Honor
Between Them.

"I'll bet you dinner for ten peo
ple," said Representative Frank Clark
of Florida one day last spring, ac-
cording to the Popular Magazine, that
the worst penman in congress Is
Sparkman of my state"
"I'll take that bet" replied Hard
wick of Georgia. The man who
writes the worst hand in the world is
Adamson of MY delegation"
Sparkman Is chairman Of the COM
mittee on rivers and harbors and
Adamson is the head of the commit
tee on interstate and foreign COM
merce. The two congressman who
had made the bet selected commit
tee to pass on the handwriting in
question, and then secured letters
written by Sparkman and Adamson
in their own penmanship. Those let
tiers were something horrible to see,
and the judges decided that the writ
ing of both was so bad that the writ
ers, not the men who had made the
bet, must pay for the dinner.
While the banquet was in progress
Adamson told this story:
Last winter a constituent of mine
wrote to me and asked for a speci-
men Of my handwriting, explaining
that he had heard it was the worst
in the world, and that he was making
a study of bad penmanship. 1 com.
piled with the request. In few days
he returned my letter to me, with this
note:
"'Ffne! Am enthusiastic. Didn't
know such handwriting was possible.
Please send me a typewriter copy OF
the inclosed. I need key to it."
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
VERSE WORTH READING.

Childhood.
Ny child. we two were children.
Little and merry were we.
We wriggled into the henhouse
And hid ourselves there with glee.
"Cock-a- doodler 1t sounded j
The regular farmyard cry,
Cock -doodle' 1t cheated
The ears Of the passersby.
In the yard there were packing casesi
We papered them bit by bit,
And there in our elegant mansion
The pair Of US loved to sit.
One Of our regular callers
Was the cat from over the wall.
We met here with bowings and curtseyS
And thanked her each time for her call
we trusted her cold was better.
Our speeches were smooth and pat,
Since then we have said the same things
To many an ancient cat
Sometimes we sat discoursing
Like graybeards ever so wise,
Sighed as We thought OF the present,
Wished that the past could rise.
sorrowed that trust, and faith
And love had departed hence,
Groaned at the price of coffee
And the scarcity Of pence.
Gone are the days of childhood
AS all things turn to dust,
The world. the years and the pennies
And love and faith and trust.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
EXERCISE ON THE DECLINE
Medical Journal Says That Automo-
bIIes and Motor Boats Arc Max
Ing People Lazy.

Anyone who takes an outing, par.
dcularly at the seaside, can hardly
fail to notice the revolution that has
taken place during the last decade in
the methods Of enjoying vacation,
says the New York Medical Journal.
The automobile whizzes by on the
roads and the motor boat sputters
noisily within sight Of the shore, each
bearing its crowd Of pleasure seekers,
while even the swimmers are support
ed, q large proportion Of them at
least, by an artificial contriyance de-
signed to keep them afloat without
exertion.
Rowing, walking and swimming are
the three ideal exercises, all demand
ing the open air and all having def
mite objects apart from their excellent
effect on bodily health. But the mod
ern amusements, such as motoring
and motor boat racing, have nothing
to recommend them save that they
too require outdoor space.
/; Golf lseems to be. increasing the
number Of its devotees, even II the
latter go to the links In high pow
cred cars. But the writer would like
to see the immense audiences Of base
ball and football games playing on
numerous diamonds and gridirons Of
their own, and would welcome regu-
lation that prescribed a playground
ten times it's size to adjoin every new
library. It is not only the rich who
become lazy; the omnipresent trolley
car embodies the favorite recreation
nf the poor.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
Education.

Our Johnny is a pupil .
In public school, you know;
His class he leads
In stringinG beads
All in a fancy row; =
At writing he's deficient,
He can't spell even ''cat,"
But ahl he knows
Each flower that grows,
So what care we for that?
In mathematics Johnny
Is hardly any good.
But he can knit
A woolen mitt ii
AS we'll as granma could;
He doesn't know one hero
Or date In history. !
But hip hooray!
His blocks of clay
Are beautiful to see.
Before he's graduated
An awful lot he'll know,
And he can turn
The things he'll learn
To profit-maybe so;
But yet, somehow or other.
Before he quits. we hope.
He'll learn enough
odd fashioned stuff"
To drown this modern dope"
Paul West in New York World
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13

closely resemble the celebrations OBJ
served of old in honor of Saturn or
Bacchus.
The Roman Saturnalia, which oc-
Cured in the winter solstice, were q
season of great festivity and rejoicing,
honored by many privileges and ex-
emptions. The spirit Of gaiety had
free charter, and even quarrels were
suspended, to be resumed alter the
holidays.
AS manifestation Of the gratitude
felt at the renewed prospects of the
returning march Of the sun, gifts were
exchanged and special hymns were
sung. These latter were really the
Roman representatives of the modern
carol.
At the Saturnalia the Roman feast
ed, sang and danced, as we do at
Christmas. A ruler or king was ap-
pointed, who enjoyed certain preroga-
tives. He presided over the sports Of
the season. Probably he is the an
cestor of the lord Of misrule, who ex-
ercised similar power in more re-
cent times.
Merriment was a matter of general
concern, and the joyous spirit of en-
tire districts is now narrowed to fam
lily parties.
1t is the touch that makes the
whole world kin, and 1t is pleasant
reminder that, after all, history re-
peats itself.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
"If Love Were Always Laughter" /"

II love were always laughter
And grief were always tears,
with nothing TO come after
To mark the waiting years.
I'd pray life of love to you.
Sent down from heaven above to you,
And never grief come near to you,
To spread its shadow. dear, to you
II love were always laughter
And grief were always tears.
But grief brings often laughter,
And love. ah. love brings tears;
And both leave ever after
Their blessings on the years;
So I. dear heart, would sue for you,
A mingling of the two for you.
That grief may lend its calm to you,
And love may send its balm to you
For grief brings often laughter
And love brings often tears.
Annie ]. Grim, in the Century.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
Rose-Time.

What though love require no test!
In this rose-time after rain.
let me touch your hand again
Since caressing reassures
Lovers that their love endufes!
Now. whatever dark may come,
Now. before our mouths are ouHo'
while away the twilight slips
Celia. let me kiss your lips!
Until dawn shall be as blue
AS the little veins Of you
At the temple and the breast
-Witter Bynner. in Hampton's Magazine
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
The Changed Hills.

The hills on which the cattle grazed
Are strange today unto my eyes;
The plough has severed as a sword
All the appealing, olden ties;
The apple trees are blossoming-
I see their promise cleaning there,
And smell their perfume. heavy, sweet.
Where once the wild sage 'hlled the ali
The hills on which the cattle grazed
Were once the backgrounds where men
Far from the haunts of womankind,
Won or wero beaten9lsA tarahAed the
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
Second-Aand.

Dan Cupid. being very sick.
And never known to miss a tr'cK'
Now manages. pray understand
A shop for love at second-han"
He has a line of damaged hearts.
And an array of shopworn arts
A goodly lot of hopeful smiles,
And ev'ry sort Of fadsd wfles.
He's doing very well indeed.
For he supplies long-fe!t need:
Believe me. there is great demand
For love. cen though at secondhand
Town Topics.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
Kisses.

Kisses.
ooh, kiss me and CO."
Said the maid Of my heart,
And proffered her lip
AS a hint to depart
"The midnight approaches,
My mother will know,
Ny kindest and dearest,
Oh. kiss me and CO."
She gave me the blessing
In such a sweet way.
The thrill Of its pleasure
Enticed mo to stay;
So we kissed till the morning
Came in with its glow,
For she said every moment,
"oh. kiss me and CO."
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13

with meanings at Unknown today.
Where once the roundup campfire blazed
The ranch light shines like star upon
The hills on which the cattle grazed-
Denver Republican.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13

It's what I thank God for each day
A wife with never too much to say;
A wife. a dog, an a child for play,
For those I'd pray.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
Blessings.

It's what 1 thank God for each night
A little cabin that's mine by right,
The strength of a man for work or hgh.
And food and light.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
Not Blessed.

Tho presents you forget to give to
others who don't forget to give to you
are not SO blessed.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13

I thank God for the land I tread.
A pipe to smoke, and an easy bed,
The thatch I made that's DER my head.
And daily bread.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13

Mrs Jones-No wonder she looks
tired; she's up most all night with .
sick baby.
Mr.. Jones-What's the matter with
her husband?
Mrs. Jones-He's busy all the time
trying to get an eight-hour day for
workmen.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13

I thank God for an Irish name.
And a son of mine to bear the same
NV own to love me and none to blame
No more I'd claim.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13

Mr.. Newwed-I shall never. never
love another woman as love you.
Mrs. Newwed-I should hope not.
Mr.. Newwed-You needn't to get
go sore about It guess I could II
I wanted to.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13

Poet-Do you think will get much
from the editor for this poem?
Friend-Not much: you will be able
to be around again in few days. ]
imagine.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1911-12-13
CHRISTMAS Gusttals.

1t is interesting to
trace the origin of
festival customs to
those connected with
Druidical superstitions
of classic observances,
and it will surprise
many to learn that
present-day sports very
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1911-08-05
1t Seems Puzzlinq.

Recently In Pittsburg Mrs. Rather.
inc Maxon-Smith-B aumgardner, re-
puted to be the wealthiest woman in
Louisville, KY, embarked on the mat.
rimonial sea for the fourth time by
becoming the bride Of Carl Neumeyer
also of Louisville. The bride Is said
to be very close to eighty-three
years of age and the groom
somewhat over half Of that. At some
what the same time in Paris Mrs. AL
bert Clifford Barney, Of Washington
who owns up to sixty-one winters and
who is worth some 100000. married
Christian D. Hemmick. Of Washington
who is twenty-six years Of age. There
are times when matrimony looks like
maternal love.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1911-08-05
Doctors Said He Would Die
A Friends Advice Saves Life

I wish to speak of the wonderful cure
chat + have received from your noted
6wamp-Root, the great kidney and blad-
der cure. Last summer l was taken with
severe pains in my back and sides. I
could not breathe without difficulty and
was nearly wild with the desire to urinate.
Was compelled to do 80 every ten min
utes with the passage Of pure blood with
the urine. tried all the different doc
tors from far and near, but they said it
was no use to doctor as would die any
way. I was at the end of my rope and
was 50 miserable with pain and tho
thought that must die that words can
not tell how felt. One day friend told
me of the wonderful help she had received
from DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root. She gave
mo one of your pamphlets which read
and determined to try Swamp Root. After
taking half a bottle I felt better. Have
now taken ten bottles and am well as
ever was, thanks to Swamp Root. wish
to tell all suffering people that have kid
ney, liver or bladder trouble, that DR.. Kill
mer's Swamp Root il the best medicine on
the market.
All persons doubling this statement can
write to me and will answer them di-
rectly, Yours very truly,
CLYDE F. CAMERER,
Rosalie, Wash.
Subscribed and sworn to before me this
23rd day of July, 1909.
VERNE TOWNE, Notary Public.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1911-08-05
ONWARD MARCH OF PROGRESS is
RETARDED BY MISERABLE
HIGHWAYS.
BIG HANDICAP TO PEOPLE
Costs Much More to Haul Produce
Over Bad Roads Than It Does Over
Good Roads-Effect Of Good Roads
on Social Life.
BY HOWARD n. GROSS.

When one makes a study of this
great subject and sees In how many
ways the march of progress is re-
tarded by miserable highways the
country over, and realizes what a
burden this handicap places upon the
people, 1t Is surprising that the whole
population does not rise as one man
and demand that the highway condi-
lions shall be improved to the standard
required for the twentieth century.
Road advocates have shown for
years and years how much more 1t
costs to haul produce over bad roads
than 1t does over good ones: how with
good roads the farmer can market his
produce at any time he desires to do
so and take advantage of market con-
ditions and get the most ror what he
has to sch.
Bad roads are serious handicap
to social conditions, and sometimes for
weeks at a time jewellers In the farm
home are marooned by stretches of
impossible roads. They cannot get
out to see anybody and nobody can
get to see them. The town that Is
five miles away might as we'll be twice
that. W. know that man Is sociable
thing: is part of his nature-he can
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1911-08-05
9ilver-Eyed Beefsteak.

The London cop calls his half-pen-
ny herring his silved-eyed beefsteak.
and there are hundreds cooking every
minute in London town where one Is
eaten here. Any time Of the year q
big part of this city would profit by
eating fish for a spell instead of beef.
With no open air exercise beef is q
heap harder than fish for the body to
get rid of, because there is good deal
more water in fish than In beef or
pork. Fish are fat or lean. Eel. sal
mon. herring are more than five per
cent. grease. Halibut and mackerel
are two to five per cent. fat; cod,
whiting, paddock. even less than two
per cent.-New York Press
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1911-08-05
Railroad to Be Built Along Panama
for Drawing Ships From Ocean
to Ocean.

TIE first shipment Of steel has been
made from New York for building
lnioue electric railway along the Pan
ANA canal for drawing great ships
from ocean to ocean. The enormous
volume Of shipping across the isthmus
will be drawn on the ancient towpath
system, 30 that 1t will be unnecessary
for steamers to proceed under their
own steam. In place Of the mules. on
this curious towpath. powerful electric
locomotives will draw the largest
ships smoothly and swiftly across the
continent. A steamer OF, say 10000
tons, which the canal will readily
accommodate. is obviously very
heavy burden. and the electric loco
motives will be geared to the tracks
by q middle rail in the form Of .
rack. The canal commission has ad-
vertised for 100000 pounds Of steel
ties, slots and covers and 1900. 900
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1911-08-05

Tacoma an improved road Is a mat
ter of the near future. This road
work is part of general plan to build
a trunk line from the northern to the
southern boundary Of Washington.
which in turn will become part of q
highway from the Great Lakes to the
ocean, through tho northern tier Of
state, and this will connect with an
down the coast to Mexico-a dream
Of that wide-awake country that is
certain to be realized In the next few
yeara
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1911-08-05
GOOD ROADS IN NORTHWEST
Washington State Alive to tho I'm
portance Of Tavlng Service
able itlghways.

The northwest is alive to the value
of good roads. In a recent issue Of
the Seattle (Wash.) Intelligencer the
statement is made that before the
summer is over Seattle and Tacoma
will be connected by flrst-class ma
cadamized highway. In King county,
Of which Seattle is the seat. there
will be $4,000 available, including
state aid. for road improvement this
year. Much Of this will be spent on
trunk line destined to connect Seat
tic and Everett. From Everett to
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1911-08-05
A Catastrophe,

A cat was being chased along the
roof Of New York building. It lost
its balance and fell on a boy who was
standing on a balcony on the second
floor. The startled boy fell In his
turn, landing on baby carriage, for
tunately empty, which another boy
was wheeling in the street. The first
boy dislocated his wrist; the cat was
killed.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1911-08-05
question whether we are ma establish

question whether we are ma establish
ing here in the central west the con-
ditions that have been the curse of
Ireland for three hundred years. The
result of this condition is that the soil
is losing its fertility; thes farm Is be-
coming foul; noxious weeds are grow
ing; the landlord squeezes the tenant
the tenant takes it out of the farm; he
cannot afford for the short lease Of
one or two years to buy fertilizers;
he must simply rob the soil for all
he can get and turn it over to his sue
cessor in worse condition than he
found 1t. He cannot go into stock
farming on short land tenures. so he
must be what is known as a grain
farmer, and this takes the life out of
the soil. The greatest economic men,
ace of the world today, bar nothing.
Is the depletion of soil fertility, and
this will go on as tenantry increases.
Thus we see few of the very many
drawbacks that are directly and in
directly due to bad roads, and We may
add to the list, as stated by the de-
partment OF agriculture, that the cost
of moving farm products to the market
and getting supplies back to the farm
over bad highways causes an extra
expense OF at least $3.50 per person
per year over and above what 1t
would cost to perform the same service
over roads that are uniformly good.
One Of the great world questions Is
that of good roads, and the sooner the
people wake up to the fact the faster
and surer will our progress be toward
higher and better things.
There is widespread clamor for a
parcel post and strong influences are
at work to get the federal government
committed to it. The indications are
that it will be tried out on moderate
scale Whether the parcel post will
prove a blessing or otherwise Is an
open question, and one we will not at
this time discuss. We may say, how
ever, that any attempt at the parcel
post that contemplates extending the
service to the rural mail routes will
prove a disappointment. The condi-
lions of the public roads are such that
for weeks at a time it would be physi-
cally impossible to make delivery. The
carriers are taxed now to the limit.
If he starts out with fifty pounds over
bad roads it is heavier burden than
five times the weight over good road.
Given the parcel post in full swing
and without doubt the weight the car
rier must handle will be many times
what it Is now. Any one familiar with
conditions will say that without good
permanent highways the delivery OF
packages over rural routes will be
physical impossibility. The first thing
to strive for Is good roads; let the
parcel post come later.