The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1911-05-16
THE THINKING
GERMAN
BY SARAH BAXTER
Copyright by American Press ASso-
citation, 1911

not content with the occupation house
keeping alone gave me, decided to go
into the business of raising squads for
market. Having ample room in my
back yard, erected dovecotes there
and put In a dozen pairs Of pigeons.
About the time began to think of sell
Ing my surplus on counting my young
birds missed several OF them. There
was leak somewhere.
Behind our place. facing on another
road. was shanty in which lived a
German cobbler named Hans Schrei-
Der. One night, hearing a noise in my
back yard, | went out with dark
lantern and flashed 1t on Schneider get
ting over the back fence. He was
warned that tho next time he was
caught in our yard he would be prose
cuted under the law. He put on
great deal of injured innocence. but
continued to steal my squads. Finally
caught him again. had him arrested
and the next morning appeared against
hlHi in court
"Jutch." be said to the court. assum-
Ing the expression of a martyr, I leaf
II to you Yedder a poor man like me
can affort to eat squap. How woult
know like squap il don't know
Row dey taste. got to puy 'em first
hafn't /. to know wedder like 'emT
( That's very ingenious argument,
Hans" said the prosecutor. taking up
the case. ''but 1t won't work Did you
never taste any kind of game-duck,
quail. snipe2'
"Nefrer Do you take me for shen.
tlemanT
you've eaten young chickens,
haven't your
"Proilersl You think can afforr TO
eat proilers? All t proilers go into
Z houses Of shentlemen like you. Pc
sites. ven T. proilers are two years
olt don like EN-"
How can broiler be two years
old2" asked the prosecutor. II should
consider a chicken two years old a
pretty aged bird"
"A proiler ot pc two years oft!
Hin! 70 70 10 t colt storage house.
Yo' fnt 'em tree. four, fife years oft"
We're not trying the cold storage
men," said the prosecutor We're
trying you. Hans Schneider, for steal.
ing Mrs. Perkins squads. What did
you eat for breakfast this morningT
Sausage"
Anything else?"
"Breat und coffee"
"Are you sure you didn't eat squabT
sure"
Hans. did yon ever hear of Herr
Roentgen"
| NO"
"He discovered process by which
one may look inside the body and see
what's there"
| Hans looked uneasy.
Now I'm going" continued the pros
ecutor, ito use one of these machines
to look inside your stomach. and If |
| find SQUAD there mis- honor will send
| you up for a long term. IL you viii
confess I'll ask him TO let you of with
small fine--just enough to pay for
/ the birds you have stolen. Now, VIII
! you submit to the test or confess|
'yat is t principle Of Z machine?'
/ asked Schneider.
The lawyer was bit staggered.
"The principle is that peculiar light
| called the Roentgen ray Eliminates a
mans inside and shows what is there"
The prisoner thought awhile, then
said:
/ II like t. see how dat lis done. You
show me vat you hat for breakfast dis
morning. und tell you what ] do"
Come. come" said the lawyer stern
". enough of this. Send for the
/ machine"
He whispered to an attendant to go
to an optician near by and bring
certain instrument he designated.
When It arrived the German looked at
I II with much interest. II consisted or
two brass cylinders, with glasses at
each end. mounted on an upright.
Now, Hans" said the attorney. "be
fore applying the test I'll give you one
more chance. VIII you confessW
Hans heslmted. The instinct of In
vestigation indigenous with his race
struggled with his fear Of detection
At last he said:
'If you fint the squap in my stom.
ach how long for | so TO shailr
The lawyer looked at the judge. who
was watching this new method Of trial
much amused
Thirty days" said his honor.
81 risk it." said Hans. Look into
my stomach"
81 withdraw the charge" ] said,
coming to the lawyers rescue.
"The charge is withdrawn" said the
Judge. struggling to repress laughter.
prisoner. If another such charge is
made against you and you are proved
guilty I'll send you up for six months"
81 wants to see" said the prisoner,
wat vent truh my stomach dis morn
ing"
That's not necessary now" said
the prosecutor, "since the charge has
been withdrawn and his honor has dis
missed the case"
"Jutch," persisted Hans, II wants to
know If the machine can do the Won
derful things the shentleman says II
can do I'm reaty to go to shall to
find that Duet"
The Judge winked at the prosecutor,
who placed the tubes against the Ger
mans stomach and. after pretending
TO look into IL. said to the Judge