davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Worked the Visitor.

Speaking about visiting English
men," said hotel manager recently
who had been reading about one in the
newspapers. reminds me Of one that
came to the Palmer House in Chicago
some years ago when | was room clerk
out there. He and another had been
paying visit TO the Rockies. and their
last stopping place had been Cheyenne
Coming east they had fallen In with
some Americans who made themselves
agreeable, with this result:
After they had put their names on
the register one Of the EngIishmen
leaned over the desk.
81 say, he whispered. 4 am expect
ing President Cleveland's son 10 call
this evening to return ESQ which
lent him on the train. Will you please
put the money in the safU for me if /
do not happen to be in?
II promised. for had not the heart
to shatter his confidence In human ma
ture. President Cleveland didn't hap
pen to have such thing as a son at
that time."-New York Sun.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
A Drop of Water.

Figures are sometimes impressive
simply by being SO stupendous that
the human mind grasps them with
difficulty. An instance in point is af-
forded by the Illustration once offered
to his hearers by an eminent scientist.
who. In order TO bring to their com
prehension the idea OF ultimate parti-
cles Of water. stated that if he was to
empty a tumbler containing half
pint Of water. letting out each second
number equal to 1,CO0 times the
population OF the earth. IT would re-
quire somewhere between 100000
and 100000 years to empty the tum-
bier. Lord Kelvin has assured us that
II drop OF water was magnified to
the size of the earth the particles
would be between the size of cricket
balls and footballs. If that statement
is correct the drops Of water in all the
oceans are not many times so numer-
GUS as the particles. or molecules. in a
single drop.NSt. Louis Republic.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
1.-THE Texas of Europe,"

In the "reminiscences Of Mrs. T. P.
OConnor, IL Myself" the author tells
OF her first meeting with Henry James,
whom she calls "a sort of Massachu.
sets Sir Galahad"
The first time l met him sat next
him at dinner. had just come to
London. and he asked me II liked 1t.
] said hadn't made up my mind. and
he said l would-that in London you
were allowed every independence of
opinion and action. only you must con-
tribute something socially-beauty land
he bowed very courteously to me. and
/ bowed very prettily to him) or wit
or agreeableness-and then London ac-
cepted you. l said: History repeats
itself. In Texas. where | was born,
they say a man Is not asked his ma.
honality. his religion or his politics.
but only II he is good fellow" "Ah."
said Mr.. James. then London is tho
Texas Of Europe"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
The Dreadful LOOKING Person.

Rodin. the world famous French
sculptor. has had wonderful career.
and. like most men who have risen
from obscurity to fame. he still pre-
serves much Of the simplicity of his
early days. One day he was entertain
Ing a few artists. among them a Ger
man who had never before visited the
sculptor. AT dinner they were waited
on by particularly plain looking wo-
man.
I'm surprised" remarked the Ger
man during one of the woman's alb
sences from the room. that you
should have such very dreadful look
Ing person about you. Why don't you
get a nice. good looking young house
keeperf"
There was sudden ghastly silence.
Then Rodin smiled.
I'll don't like to be waited on at meals
by servants" he explained. "The
dreadful looking person is my wife,"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
When He Was Bad.

1t has been said that you never know
man till you travel with him, and
certainly travelling has tendency to
bring out all the depravity innate in
human nature. Out Of this test. now
ever. Benjamin Disraeli emerged with
flying cOlOrs. This is what was said
OF him by Mrs. Austen. who with her
husband travelled with him when he
was quite d young man. as related in
MIR. MOnypennys biography:
Your brother" she says ,the letter
was addressed to Disrael's sister. lis
so easily pleased so accommodating.
SO amusing and so actively kind that
l shall always reflect upon the domes-
tic part OF our journey with the great
est pleasure. Your brother has be-
haved excelently. except when there
Is a button. or. rather. buttons. to be
put on his shirt: then he is violently
bad. and this happens almost daily"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
MAKING STEAM WORK.


James Watt took out patent on his
steam engine In 1869. but as far back
a 1o43 there was a captain In Spain
who constructed vessel Of 200 tons
and propelled IL at Barcelona In the
presence OF the Emperor Charles v.
and his court by an engine, the con-
struction OF which he kept a secret.
But an old document says that In II
was monster caldron Of water and
that there were two movable wheels
on the outside of the vessel The en-
peror was satisfied with its operation.
but the treasurer OF the kingdom OBJ
5ected to IL. and so no encouragement
was given to the enterprise. The poor
inventor. whose name was Blasco de
Guerrero, wearied and disgusted at the
want OF patronage. took the engine out
or the vessel. and the secret of the
machine was buried In his grave.
The incident was almost duplicated
In France a century later. The IA
nous Marian de POrme. a celebrated
frenchwoman. who lived to be 1874
years old. told In letter to an admir-.
sr. dated 1871. Of man confined I'm
madhouse of Paris for urging that
anything could he done by the force
OF steam. The mans name was Solo
mon de Coste. native OF Normandy.
and " was because he had persistently
Followed Cardinal Ricbelieu. imploring
him to take an interest In his inven-
don. that he was put behind bars
Kansas City Star.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
When Baronets Were Bold.

1t was in the reign of good King
James that barOnets first came into
existence. Today you could hardly tell
baronet from banker. But in the
year 1911. when James l. needed ready
money and created POO little barons"
to supply him with cash. they swag-
gered about In their baldrics and SASH
es and behaved in the courtliest of
fashion Each baronet in order to
Justify his title had TO maintain a
small army of thirty soldiers for three
years. In this way the crafty king
not only increased his revenue. but
actually lishtened his expenses.
1t Is not generally known that the
title of "baronetess" has twice been
bestowed on women. One of these was
the mother of Dutch general. The
other was Nottingham lady named
Dame Maria Boles. who won her way
into the good graces of Charles |. and
received the title from his hands
London Tit-Bits.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Brides In Iceland.

A quaint old superstition in Iceland
is that every bride must invite all her
friends TO dinner in her own home
and every article Of food must be pre-
pared by the bride herself. If she is
successful in pleasing her guests she
not only receives praise for her own
skill. but helps along her younger sis.
ters, who are then assumed to be
equally good at cooking and conse-
quently have much better chance of
getting married.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Royal Perouisites,

The king has many privileges which
he never exercises. He enjoys an i'm
memorial right to all gold and silver
mines, not only on his own land, but
upon any Of his subjects lands within
his dominions. So shareholders in
Rand and Westralian mines would
have to forego their dividends IL the
king felt avariciously disposed. The
king is also entitled to a yearly tribute
from his tailor, consisting Of a pair of
white doves. pound OF cummin seed,
a pair of scarlet hose ano a silver
needle
All surgeons and whales caught in
British waters are royal perquisites.
The whale has a split liability. Its
tall belongs TO the queen. while it's
head goes 10 the king. 1t is generally
assumed that the partition was decid-
ed upon in order that the queen should
always be supplied with whalebone,
but if so the founder Of this act of
benefcence committed the mistake of
giving the queen the wrong half
London Chronicle.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Good Shootipu.

The story below Of certain Virginia
mountaineers whose patriotism was
only equaled by their craftsmanship,
Is one told by c. X. Bolton In the
American Historical Review.
In l715 500 recruits were needed.
but many more came forward aud the
commanding officer decided on a shoot
Ing match TO determine their proficien-
cy. A board one foot square. bearing
chalk outline of nose, was nailed
to tree at distance Of $50 yards.
Those who came nearest the mark
with a single bullet were to be enlist
ed. The first forty or fifty men who
shot cut the nose entirely out Of the
board.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
BRANDING loafers.

The brand of 49, figures in an ex-
traordinary act passed by parliament
In 1541. An ablebodied man or wom-
an found lettering and not seeking
work for the space of three days
could be seized and brought before
two justices Of the peace, who, upon
confession or on the proof Of two wit
nesses. shall Immediately cause the
said laborer 30 be marked with a hot
iron on the breast the mark of w
and adjudge the said person living so
idly to his presenter, 70 be his slave
for two years. The said slave shall
be made to work by beating. claiming
or otherwise" II convicted Of run
ming away during this period the jus
tees could cause him to be branded
on the forehead or the cheek with the
letter rs" and then adjudged to his
master as a slave forever For run
ming away a second time the penalty
was death.-LOndon Standard.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Witty Ann Pitt.

BolingbrOke called England's great
statesman. William Pitt Oord Chat
ham,. "Sublimity Pitt" and he dubbed
his sister Ann Divinity Pitt" But
that must have been long after there
were written and received the delight
full letters addressed to Pitts Dearest
Nanny" his little Man," his little
Jug"
"Oh. for the restless tongue of dear
little Jug" he eXclaims in a letter writ
ten by him from Northampton when, a
lad Of twenty-three. he had but lately
Joined his regiment.
Ann Pitts restless tongue was never
stilled. for when Chesterfield, calling
on her in his later life, complained Of
decay with the words. Il fear that /
am growing an old woman" Ann brisk
ly replied:
81 am glad Of it. 1 was afraid you
were growing an old man, which, as
you know, is much worse thing"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
SIZE OF WHALES.
Length of the Biggest Ones and the
Height They Can Spout.

Length Of the Biggest Ones and the
Height They Can Spout.
A government official who has made
a special study Of whales states that
the average length of a full grown
sulphur bottom whale is just under
eighty feet. This estimate disregards
the exaggerated reports sometimes
spread by sailors and is based on
actual measurements Of many indi-
vtdual specimens. There seem to be
credible accounts of whales reaching
a length Of from eighty-five to ninety
five feet. but the authority quoted has
never seen any of that size
Whales appear to grow with great
rapidity. the length of ,earlings being
estimated at from thirty to thirty FIVE
feet.
How high can whales spout? Photo
graphs taken by the scientist referred
to give means Of measuring with
some accuracy the height to which the
water Is thrown. This appears TO be
much less than 1t has often been sup.
posed to be. 1t is claimed that even
the great sulphur bottom whale on the
average spouts to a height Of only
fourteen feet, although occasionally
the height may be as much as twenty
feet.-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
SHOES IN JAPAN.
a Man Will Wear Out From Eight to
len Pairs q Year.

The shops and booths of Japan are of
unfailing interest. Here the greengro.
Ger and fruit seller has arranged his
wares till 1t seems as though one look
ed upon great bouquet There the
flower shop blazes In brilliance and the
lantern maker sQuats at his multi
cOlOred task At the next entrance we
perhaps see man severing chicken
meat from the bone, and he performs
the operation as skillfully as the sur.
geon with his dissecting knife. Beef
and chicken are commonly sold in this
fashion.
Two or three PAGES farther on one is
confronted with typical japanese
shoe store. All the footwear of the lit
tie brown man Is here on view. The
geta (wooden clogs and straw sandals
are indeed fanciful exhibition. They
line the benches. the floors. the shelves
They hang from above and seemingly
are everywhere. allowing the seller lust
about enough room TO squat on his
mat The newcomer is at once star
tied at the immense quantity of this
simple footwear and the many places
where 1t IS sold. but he soon finds n
solution to his query when he hears
that Japanese man annually makes
away with from eight to ten pairs
Christian Herald.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Jolted Mark Twain.

Mark Twain" said magazine ed
itor. brought out Joan of Arc anOny-
mously. Before he acknowledged its
authorship he sometimes fshed for
compliments about it. One evening
at dinner he said carelessly to a sen.
ator:
Are you a novel readerT
"fes, a great novel reader was
the reply.
II don't suppose you're following
that anonymous new serial. Joan OF
Arcf"'
Indeed l am. though. every in
stallment.'
What do you think Of it? Is 1t
goodT
That's hardly fair question to
ask me- the senator. who knew the
books real author. replied. You see.
l wrote Joan of Arc" myself"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
illustrated His System.

1t was a habit Of the wise French
man Arago to look during his lectures
at the young man who appeared the
dullest Of the students. and when he
perceived that this one understood he
knew all the others did.
Once in drawing room he had just
explained this habit of his to some
friends when young man entered
and saluted him familiarly.
But TO whom have | the honor of
speaking" asked the scientist.
"Why, Professor Arago. you do not
know me? | always attend your lee
lures. and you never take your eyes,
off me the whole time"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
More and More,

The gravedigger in "Hamlet' was
very witty man. wittier far than
many Of the epitaph makers who have
adorned headstones with their iingles.
A sample Of the punning rhymes
which are cut on tombs follows. 1t
comes from the grave of William
More, at Stepney, near London:
Here lies one More, and no more than he.
The More and no more-how can that be?
Why, one More and no more may lie here
alone
But here lies one More. and that's more
than one.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Whales In Nets,

Just south OF the Bay of Islands.
New Zealand. where in landlocked
harbOr beautiful Wangamumu nestles
In the shadow of Cape Brett. there Is
established a whaling station. and here
Is carried on the unique business of
catching whales by means Of nets set
In narrow channel between rugged
rocks. The cetaceans frequent this
passage. II is said. to rub off the ac-
emulation of sea growing parasites
gained in long Journeys through deep
water.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
FALLING C0COANUTS.
DIV Makes moH Of Them Drop Frem
the Trsss at Nioht.


Ill the tropics when the cocoanut is
wanted for planting" said an importer
OF the fruit "the nuts are picked up
when they fall from the tree where
they have hung for about fourteen
months In ripenlng II Is a fact not
generally known that majority Of
the nuts drop st night. which probably
accounts for the small loss OF life by
eocoanuts falling uron the heads OF
the natives.
"The action Of the heavy dew at
night loosens the seal with which ma.
ture has provided the nut and allows
IL TO fall The nuts wanted for plant
Ing are either gathered into heaps or
placed under sheds. where they are
allowed to sprout before planting In
order that good, healthy nuts may be
selected. thus avoiding the possibility
Of planting blind nuts that will not
sprout. I'm which case much time would
be lost In starting the cocoanut walks.
90 the orchards are called. When holes
are dug. abont three feet deep and
twenty feet apart. the nut Is carefully
placed therein and covered with about
Q foot Of soil The hole Is filled as the
sprout grows until the latter reaches
the surface. then II Is left to itself. re-
Quiring no further attention. Should
the place where the cocoanut is planted
DO any great distance from the sea-
shore a quantity OF salt Is placed in
the hole. The plant will grow In lux
uriance. however. bus a short distance
from the shore. nearness to salt water
being absolutely essential to its well
fare. Washington Herald
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10

To bake potato scones slft cupful
and half OF flour with a half tea
spoonful OF salt and two teaspoonfuls
or baking powder and rub I'm three
tablespoonfuls OF shortening. Add one
cupful OF light. freshly mashed pOta-
toes. add one well beaten egg and
enough milk To make soft dough.
Roll out half an inch thick. CIT and
bake on n hot griddle or In hot oven.
Serve very hot. with plenty OF butter.
-Suburbanite.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Curiosities of Etvn,oIonv

1t is extraordinary how words for
the same thing differ in even so small
country as England. Take left
handed for example. In Gloucester
shire such a person is described as
"scrammy," in Staffordshire be be-
comes "craggy," the phrase for a left
handed Yorkshireman is "gawkrod-
GER or 'callick handed" and in the
next county. Durham. he is "cuddy
w."-LOndOn Telegraph.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
K affr EnuIish-

AS a sample of Kaffir English here
Is a love letter sent by Cape Colony
boy to his dusky inamor8ta:
Dear Miss-I have great confidence in
numbering the width of my opinion that
1 shall thank for kindness If you will give
me the privilege OF lettering with you con-
cerning love, as your most winning face
has drawn my serious attention TO you,
and that ! shall appreciate YOU in antici-
patton OF an early lcPiy and also termi-
ton NED
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Experience Teaches.

''I wonder what has happened to Mr..
Green?" said Mrs. Brown TO lady
friend. HE seems so dismal now, and
he used to be practical jOker!'
"Ah," was the response. ''he pro.
posed as joke to his present wife.
She accepted him. and he says he will
never indulge In a joke again"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Miqht Be Saved.

A Kansas butcher was driving a cow
10 MS slaughter house when q stranger
stopped him aud said: What are YOU
going to do with that cowY 'I'm 60
Ing TO XIII her." said the butcher. The
stranger looked the COW over carefully.
"Oh, l don't believe I'd do that. II
you feed her up awhile think sheu
live."-Kansas Magazine.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
A Hit

made great hit mt the banquet
mst night Came Off with good deal
of distinction, in fact"
didn't know you ever spoke at
banquets"
Il don't was the only one there
VINO absolutely declined" - Chicago
Record Herald.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
a MlsA Gnu.

"Gustav's letters to me are exceed
tngly dull and commonplace" said one
fair girl
''Dont you know whyY' resro.led
the other
"No"
Gustav once served on the jury IN
a breach of promise washinl
ton star
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
WooIuatheriuu.

For ones wits to go woolgather-
ing Is an allusion to a pitiful indus.
try sometimes seen In older countries.
In parts Of France. Germany and
Spain very old people are sometimes
employed In gathering wool from
bushes In sheep pastures. where 1t has
been plucked from the fleece as the
animals pass too close to the branches.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Taken at His Word.

"Since you are 50 busy today" said
the urbane Journalist, will you kindly
tell me when and where | can meet
You for m interview"
.Go 10 blazeS" exclaimed the rate
politician.
Thanks. I'll consider it d. appoint
Washington Star.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
u Soft Answer.

The wife Of II man who came home
late insisted upon reason.
Nhen ! go out without you" he
SAID y DO NOT enjoy myself half as
much, and II takes me twice rs long"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
The w ord Vaudeville.

The word vaudeville" sprang from
VauX de Wire. the name of hamlet
In the picturesque town of Wire, in
Switzerland. In the fifteenth century
this town was the home Of Oliver
Basselin. the author of witty drinking
songs. One OF the best known Of these
songs was merry dissertation on the
authors red nose.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Must Have Rncn Poor

Critic Where did YOU gct the idea
for that play? Playwricht-Ou out of
my head. of course. What do YOU
mean? Critic You must Ice glad that
N IL out,
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
j. Prank of the TvpeS

A sentimental novelist. describing his
heroine AS one who "always kept mod
eStly in the Background was hOrri-
fed to,tind it recorded in print that she
"always kept modeSty In the back
ground"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
He Didn't.

The wife OF clergyman warned him
as he went Off to otticiate at funeral
one rainy day:
NOW, John. don't stand with your
bare head on the damp ground; you'll
catch cold"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Kind littla Bow.

"Has my boy been little defender
and been kind to dumb animals to-
dayr
YES. grandma. | let your canary
out OF the cage. and when my cat
caught IL set Towser OH her"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
A Chanue Of Onipion

IL suppose, old fellow. your wife still
thinks she married a treasurer" re-
marked bachelor To married friend
No said the benedict: II have a
distinct impression that she regards
me as a treasury
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
AS Usual.

$50 your Shakespeare club is a great
successr'
Yes. We have accumulated enough
fines for nonattendance to take lis all
to a musical comedy. Washington
Herald
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Pathetic prooF

My Jim Is dead. my Jim is dead"
walled an old colorcd nanny. holding
up letter. Here is n letter from
MIN right from the dead letter officer
-Woman's Home Companion.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10

Mrs. PaIGe-Nour husband has been
III. hasn't lac? Mrs LANE never saw
him SO ill Why for two weeks he
never spoke a cross word 10 me-
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
He Was Immune.

Morrow-lt makes me very uneasy
If owe n dollar to any one. BORROW
Great Scott! If felt that way about
1t Id have st. Nitus' dance Boston
Transcript
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
The Reason.

why is that man always grunting
so about his bUsiness?"
Il don't know, unless il is the force
or association. You see. he deals in
pig iron. - l}a ltimOre American.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10

The great soul that sits on the throne
or the universe is not. never was and
never will be I'm II hurry. Timothy Tit
comb.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1911-05-10
Naturally.

\ girl feels hattcrcd when told she
looks we'll in anything. but wife
thinks such compliment only plot
10 get her to wear old clothes.