davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
Bachelor chums in Game OF Wits.
Win Cupid Referee.

Bachelor Chums in Game Of Wits
With Cupid Referee
Two young men % this cify J. G..
Watts and % D Duskin who have for
years been chnms, decided that il Is
not all 81 ire % live as past grand
masters in the Ancient Order 81 Old
Bachelors forever. Their success in
finding tao exceptionally beautiful
and accomplished young ladies' % con
slider their pleadings seriously seems
10 have been matter Of happy coin
cidence. The wedding bells we're SET
to ring 10 August sith only = few
DAYS Intervening As soon ss il was
learned 1y one that the mussesl
chimes ~ his wedding would answer
to the ecn0 81 the other he az once
arranged for a resetting. giving him-
SELF q safe margin with q prior date.
As soon as this fact was known o.
the other chgm he decided this was z
zame BE- could play az and pursued
the same tactics This procedure
continued until the date for the we'd.
dag in which Mr Watts vas one oi
the contracting parties VAS finally ar
ranged os July 81. thinking. Oi
course. he Ess easily safe fog the
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
first published in The Guthrie DAHL
Leader, August J, 1919
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS

Sealed bids will be received at the
office of the city clerk OF the City OF
Guthrie. Oklahoma, until 20 a. m Au-
gust Srd for repairing the Convention
han. bv plastering, removing paru
tions. and patching floors according
to specifications on file in the office
of the CITY clerk All bids 10 be ac-
companied by certified check tcr
$500.
ME city reserves the right to reject
any and all bids,
Done by the order OF the board OF
commissioners the first day OF August
1911.
(SEAL)
r. \. DUNHAN, City Clerk.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
Stop
IDiarrhoea
Wakefieid's
Blackberry Balsam

Qrrsiv T1ss Disrrh9rs. DEsentcrT-
cHoler. lrfantam and ali bowel troubles
auholt --nslpaiinE. No opium nor
ether habit f1rming drugs. Accept cniY
EHakeneIfs. 81 eares after other remedies
'lli sc Or 3 bottles for fi.a8. EreEyWhsre.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

The band Hli z.re a concert al the
Electric park pav1ion on THURSDAY
night and a good crowd s. expected
10 be present TIE receipt SAIL De-
used In the purchase o. new Eusic-
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
FoR SALE

The 1911 laws pertaialng 10 Roads
Highways, bitches and Drains
Pamphlet form. Price 25c eacn
Special prizes on Quantities Address
Book Department. Leader FrinGa
company. Guthrie
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
DIPLOMACY

A North Dakota German farmer
aSulrinz 10 fiji an appointive Office
wanted 10 keep on good terms with
both parties. At ten on election
night the result was stll uncertain
when he was called upon TOT d
speech.
We meets. be said, 10 zele1raie
dis glorious victory. We knoHs not
set vich way it goes hnrra. hnTfa-
Hurra at4-Success Magazine
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
.-alTa MALkaa n MeAaAeu..

Tba weekly Leader ard the above
book zoo copies u witch eeFe sold ia
Glihrse fvf tf.50 copy tor uue dol
lar for tha two
ODiT 4 Few copies ieft.
Read what speaker Chamg Clark
Says 81 ths BOOK Washingfon. r. C..
Jaly Z5fh. Lear General. have read
four suaa. end it Is equal IL Interest
10 novel ft really a great pits
ffat GcacUh Walker did not saceced
mend. Chgmp Glars
Ges the LsaGeT ard you 81 tho
Dcok.--fhis to rsW and sid sub
ceribffs
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

OSTEcPATHlC PHYSICIANS.
Dsy and Night Calls Answered.
OFF1CE-Anderson Block, lltlz VI.
Oklahoma Avenue
PHONES-0ffice 200. Residence llsi
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
sssssssssssssss Q > .

WANT TO SELL SOME loISf 9
@ Set aside a few dollars Tor z
0 series Of classified ads. Write z
c the ads 80 caniidly thar tnsy {
% VIII win a second reading. .faTs :
the courage 20 order the puflica- G
Q tion of these acs-Eitr a rsas- {
Q enable number % repetiti0rs. z
Q You'll get in touch vita u1ssi- z
Q bic BUYERS through tlis little Q
Q campaign
. Q o o Q Q Q Q . . Q Q o Q Q Q Q
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

The uater eupniF d suflfieuf 'q
-r- re eftv f0r some time comus
sioner spencer has men al vor2
flushing and cleaning rae sanitary
sewers all over fhe city.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

itch dreadfully. When nv
hands first started 70 get
sore. there we're small
biisters like water blistefs
whah formed. They
itched dreadfuIly. II .ust
seemed a. though ! could
tear the skin all on. l
would scratch them and
the skin would peel on,
and the flesh would be
ali red and crack open
u - =.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
, O O O o . O o o o % o o o O
. FREsH TOPICS or c
@ THE TOWN. {
O q
o q q o o o o q q o o q q q q o {
ltlnrsetheft Renorted.

Word Was received at the sheFiff's
office that two mares bad been stol
en at NaYina last night. The mares
are buckskin IN color, marked with
black names and tails. Il is enought
fhat Identification being 80 easy II
will De almost impossible for the
thief or thieves. 20 escape
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
MENU FOR WEDNESDAY.

Breakfast.
Hnckleberries, cereal and cream
stuffed peppers with gravy, bacon
cornmeal mullins, toast, tea and cof.
fee.
Luncheon.
Mince Of liver and bacon on toast
"a left-oyerl scaEoped eggplant "a
lefe-over), toasted mullins from
breakfast, huckleberry cake and
American cheese, iced ginger ale
Dinner.
Mutton broth, stuffed and braised
beers heart a la jardiniere, garnished
with hillocks Of carrots cut into
cubes; potato marbles, green peas
fried tomatoes and button onions
homemade ice cream and cake black
co. fee. The Daily Leader.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
o O @ o O O O o o O o O @ o O @ Q
. SHORT ours TO THE NEWS G
10 g
. O c o @ @ O o @ . O O o o C . o

The executive board OF the hospital
is holding a meeting this afternoon.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

r. 4, Baggett has sold 10 w. n.
Boyd the Dave Araoid farm. noftn
cast OF the city for s5,100.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
HANDS WOULD CRACK
OPEN AND BLEED
BIisters Formed, Skin Scaled on,
and Flesh Burned and ltched
DreadfuIIy. Healed by Less Than
One Cake Of Cuticura Soap and
One Box Of Cuticura Ointment.

About two months ago my hands started
scale OF, and the good sesh would burn and
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
artshorne Ralses AonI

Special 10 the Daily Leader.
HaFtshorne, Okla, Aug. IA spe-
cial meeting Of the city council was
held here 10 protest against the action
of the state board OF equalization in
raIsinf Pittsburg county property
from 20 to 80 per cent above the val
.uatlon accepted by the county and
city boards. Several strong speeches
we're made and an urgent letter OF
protest 10 the governor was drafted
and passed The letter Ieclared the
exorbitant increase IN values, TO be
unjust, unwarrantcd. I'll advised aud
practically conhscation of property.
They furthermore asked The state
board OF equalization TO reconsider
its action and permit the values as ac-
eepted by the cibg eaualfz lsioh board,
70 stand al originally made"
The action OF the state board has
Defn tho main topic. Of conversation
OH the streets of Hsrtss,ofne, anu
plans for big mass meeting OF pro-
test are being made.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

Dogs Of every description color
and pedigree on West Logan avenue
are being poisoned by some secret
enemy.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
0 g O @ O @ @ @ g u @ @ Q o q
8 or LOCAL MOMENT 9
O s
o nc o O @ O O O o q O @ O @ @ C

The two daily papers at Frederick
nave suspended.
The Tulsa Post and Tulsa Demo
crat have consolidated.
Another prohibition election IS
booked for next spring.
A new policeman is to be appointed
at Mineral Wells park
J.. n. Curl rented three houses yes
terday to people interested in the
Methodist university
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

john w. Pearson, who has been
policeman at Mineral Wells park for
the past eleven months, turned in
bis star last night and quit his place.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

8 ACRES Near city. hall orchard and
berries. good house and stable. 20
exchange for city resideuce--l. A.
Baggett.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
canln-crook.

(Sfftii-(f ~SNf
The home OF Mr.. and Mrs, Guy
Owens, on East Harrison avenue, was
the scene of a quiet. but pretty wed.
ding last evening at 7 o'clock the
contracting parties we're Mr.. Harry
Calm and Miss Hazel crook, both
Of this city The ceremony was per-
formed by Rev s. } White. minister
oi the First Christian church These
young people are well known in
Guthrie and their many friends wish
for them happy lie. They VIII
make their future home in Kansas
city, Mo., where Mr. Calm has po-
sition in the National Reserve bank
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

The Willis Tailoring Co. OF Okla.
bona City. managed by George r.
willis. formerly of Guthrie. has filed
a voluntary petition in bankruptcy in
United States district court here
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

Duskin-Field
Mr. D D Duskin and Miss Eliza.
beth Field we're married At Sulphur
Okla. at the home Of the bride Rev.
Wauchope officiating Only the im-
mediate family we're present imme
distely after the ceremony the bride
and groom left for Guthrie where they
VIII make their home al 7le East
Cleveland avenue
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
wa,ts----Fitchett.


pretty home wedding took pace
at the parsonage, the residence ol
Rev. and Mrs. ]. r. Abernsthy Mon
day evening at $3.50 o'clock, the cor
tracing parties were Fiss Ethe
Fitchett Of Prescllla, Tex, and j. &
Watts Of this city
The bride was gowned In silk Mar
auisette. banded witn seed pearls
Her bouquet vas a shower of bride
rose buds and lilies Inc home was
decorated with white carnations ans
green ferns, the altar being made oi
ferns and palms.
Before the ceremony Mrs. AOel
nathy sang Il Love You Truly Tnt
ring ceremony was used, being read
ID the sUbdued strains oi the wed
ding march A very few intimate
friends were present
Mr. Watts has for five years beer
with the National Biscuit compani
as travelling salesman, having th'
entire western half OF the state al
his territory He has always beer
an ardent Guthrie booster, and !;
Justly popular With our business meI
He has also been a power in church
work and IL leading member D.
the W. f, church, south Mr. and
Mrs. Watts will make their home II
Guthrie, and win be at home to new
friends after August Is. at 309 soutf
Broad street
Miss Della Adler is visiting in Ok
lahoma City.
The Missionary society of the Chris
tian church Will hold its regular meet
ing Wednesday, 1880 p m, at the
church This viii be a meeting o
special importance and all members
of the church are invited.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01
WAITING ON
RETURNS Of
STATE BOARD
County Excise Board Hampered
In Preparing Annual
Tax LaVIes

The county excise board consisting
Of Count Judge Strang, chairman,
County Attorney John Adams, County
School Superintendent Neal Humph.
rey, County Clerk Charles Olson and
County Treasurer Ritterbuscb. re-
sumed their session adjourned from
Saturday afternoon at 10 o'clock this
morning. Il was hoped that notitca-
tion OF the change iii assessment
would have been received by this
time from the state board Of equali
zation. but no word has come The
county board must therefore await
the pleasure OF the state board before
taking defnate action In the making
tof the tax levies. The delay is unfoT-
board more difficult every day.
The time OF the board Was taken
up this morning in passing on the es-
ltimates submitted by school districts
and townships
Causes Extra work
The state board Of equalization
saddled an endless amount of extra
work on the county clerks of the state
according TO Charles Olson, clerk OF
logan county when it adopted
system OF increase, BIZ which the ag-
erage valuations Of different classes
of property we're raised d certain ig
lure, instead of a per cent
For instance, mules In Logan coun-
ity We're raised to an average value OF
ss5, which figured ont shows an In
crease over the return By the county.
/ OF 70 1916 per cent Ii can readily be
seen that to calculate 79 1-l6 per
cent increase on every mule assessed
In Logan county will prove a tedious
Task The same applies 10 other
classes Of property Olson points out
| that the board might tavs ordered ar
so per cent increase on the mules. in.
stead OF fixing the average value, aud
avoided world OF extra calculation
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

Why 90 to the mountains or to the
like that Of the last few days2
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

SAY you saE Il advertised IN The
leader.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

The Home Missionary society OF the
First NJ = church slll meet Wed
nesday afternoon with Mrs. A. r. Ran
kin. 1920 East Springer. An mem
bers are requested TO be present
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

The wash water system insta led
last spring at the water works plant
is giving great satisfaction aud has
fought about a saving In the hand
ling of the water supply. Inc system
costs less than any other system In
this part OF the country The cost
for May was $3.50 for June. 50 and
for the past month, s.. Before It's
installation and under the old plan
the monthly cost WIS from s35 to
$50.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

Mrs & q Tingle and little daugh.
ter, Patti Adel OF Kansas city. are
visiting Mr and Mrs. J d Williams
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1911-08-01

Miss Della Adler is visiting in Ok.
lahoma City.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-04-28
Me0)QbAdE@
CAPTAIN PUN !

up!" He spoke the words loudly.
Then quickly dropping his voice to q
whisper he added: "For Gods sake
don't betray her! They saw her with
us-everybody knows that it was the
kings wife with you!"
The kings wife! Nathaniel was
too weak to analyze the words beyond
the fact that they carried the dread
truth of his fears deep into his soul.
Who would have come to him but
Marion? Who else would have kissed
him? It was her voice that had
whispered in his ear-the thrill Of her
hand that had passed over his face.
And this man had said that she was
the wife Of the king! He heard the
voices of other men near him but did
not understand what they were say
ing. He knew that after a moment
there was q man on each side of him
holding him by the arms, and me-
chanically he moved his legs. knowing
that they wanted him to walk. They
did not guess how weak he was-how
he struggled to keep from becoming
too great a weight on their hands.
Once or twice they stopped in their
agonizing climb up the hill. On its
top the cool sea air swept into Ma
thaniels face and it was like water to
a parched throat.
After time-it seemed a day of
terrible work and pain to him-they
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-04-28
aYNoPsls.

Capt. Nathaniel Plum Of the sloop Ty-
onoon. lands secretly on Beaver island.
stronghon OF the Mormons. Obadiah
frsce. MormoD councillor, confronts him.
tehs HIM no = expected. and bargains for
t Ssa: .TNn I'm. .a aboard the slSSP He
HadkaEe 70 Franklin Pierce, president Of
the United States. Near Prices cabin
Nat sees tho frightened face Of q young
,wos1an who disappears In tho darkness.
SS.axlne g odor OF hlacs. It develops that
tlement OF the king. strang, for the loot
ing OF his sioop by Mormons. Price shows
~ tho Kings palace, and through q
Etndew he sees the lady Of the Hlacs.
En0 Price says is the kings seventh wife
SS -. At the kings office Nat is warned
see; 6tfeng processes indignation when
ne hears Mats grievance and promises to
punish the guilty. Nat rescues Neil who
y being publicly whipped, and the king
oroers the sheriff, Arbor Croche. to pur-
Nat Marion a,. the girl Of the lilacs. is
on Mats sloop and take Marion and
Winnsome, daughter of Arbor Croche,
and sweetheart OF Neil. Nat discovers
t thst s ne slooP is gone. Marion tells him
mons. She begs him to leave the island,
telling him that nothing can save her
from Strang, whom she is doomed to mar
~: Plum finds Price raving mad. Recov-
sring, he tells Nat that Strang is doomed,
IN; nat II armed ned men are Depending on the
summoned to the castle by Strang. Nat
Kills Arbor Croche, and after a desperate
night With the king. leaves him for dead
Inc nVenging host from the mainland de-
a part in the battle and the latter is
wounded,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-04-28
Strang Was Alive.

came to the streets of the town, and
in half conscious sort Of way he
cursed at the rabble trailing at their
heels. They passed close to the tenn
pie, dirt and blood and burning tor
nlent shutting the vision of it from his
eyes, and beyond this there was an
other crowd. An aisle opened for
them, as it had opened for others
ahead of them. In front of the Jail
they stopped. Nathaniels head hung
heavily upon his breast and he made
no effort to raise it. All ambition and
desire had left him, all desire but one,
and that was to drop upon the ground
and lie there for endless, restful years.
A voice dragged him back into life
"a voice that doomed in his ears like
rolling thunder and set every fiber
In him quivering with emotion. He
drew himself erect with the involun-
tary strength of one mastering the
last spasm of death and as they
dragged him through the door he saw
there within an arms reach of him
the great, living face Of Strang, gloat-
ing at him as If from out, of mist
red eyed. white fanged. filled with the
vengefulness of beast.
The great voice rumbled In his ears
again.
Take that man to the dungeon!"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-04-28

ting AunSedn wallis struck inshis lace; i
1t remained with him a. he stood
swaying In the thick gloom-the voice
rumblfng IN his ears. the words beat
Ing against his brain until the shock
OF them sickened him, until he stretch.
ed out his arms aud there fell from
him such a cry as had never tor
tured his lips before.
Strang was alive! He had left the
spark Of life in him, and the woman
who loved him had famed it back into
full flame.
Strang was alive! And Marion
Marion was his wife!
The voice of the king taunted him
from the black chaos that hid the
dungeon walls. The words struck at
him. filling his head with shooting
pain. and he tottered back and sank
to the ground to get away from them.
They followed, and that vengeful leer
Of the king was behind them, urging
them on, until they beat his face into
the sticky earth, and smothered him
into what he thought was death.
There came rest after that, a long
silent rest. When Nathaniel slowly
climbed up out of the ebon shadows
again the first consciousness that
came to him was that the word.demons
had stopped their beating against his
brain and that he no longer heard
the voice Of the king. His relief was
so great that he breathed a ,restful
sigh. Something touched him then.
Great God! we're they coming back?
Were they still there-waiting-
ing
1t was wonderfully familiar voice
that spoke to him.
Hello there, Nat! Went drink"
He gulped eagerly at the cool liquid
that touched his lips.
Nell" he whispered.
Its me, Nat. They chucked me in
with you. Hell's hole. isn't it?"
Nathaniel sat up, Neils strong arm
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-04-28
MENDING TROUSERS POCKETS
Mrs. eiIItops Objects to the One In.
genious Method That PIeases
Her Husband.

las some sage has remarked" said
Mr.. Billtops, "the longer we lives the
more we finds out. You take. for in
stance. the mending Of trousers
pocket that has hole in it down at
the bottom, so that you are in danger
of losing out of it your keys or your
pocket knife or such small change as
you may there carry.
Nov l supposed there were Just
three ways Of mending that pocket,
three and no more. One way would
be to put patch on it, another way
would be to cut OF the bottom Of the
pocket and sew on new section, and
still another way would be to put in
an entire new pocket; but the tailor
to whom took these trousers to be
fixed up has shown me fourth way
that made me laugh for its simplicity
and at the same time as thought in
genuity.
He just folded over the bottom Of
the pocket high enough up to cover
the hole, and then just stitched. the
pocket across through the folded over
part and the main body Of the pocket,
this you see something that could be
done in a minute and that at the same
time served its purpose. admired
It for its ingenuity and effectiveness,
but Mrs. Billtops doesn't look at it
as do. .-,.
"She says that II it's sloppy way
Of mending q pocket. that it makes
the pocket shallower, for one thing.
and that then that folded over part,
making the pocket Of double thick
ness, makes ridge there which is
not desirable. She says that she has
mended pockets that way herself. but
that It Is not good way. and / guess
she's right; she generally is."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-04-28
DAME NATURE HINTS
When the Food Is Not Suited,

+, When Nature gives her signal that
something is wrong it is generally
with the food; the old Dame is always
faithful and one should act at once.
To put off the change is to risk that
which may be irreparable. An Ari-
zcna man says:
For years I could not safely eat
any breakfast, tried all kinds of
breakfast foods, but they We're all
soft, starchy messes, which gave me
distressing headaches. drank strong
coffee, too, which appeared to benefit
me at the time, but added to the head
aches afterwards. Toast and coffee
were no better, for found the toast
very constipating.
"A friend persuaded me to quit COT.
Zee and the starchy breakfast foods,
and use Postum and Grape-Nuts in
stead. I shall never regret taking his
advice.
The change they have worked in
me is wonderful. now have no more
aOf the distressing sensations In my
stomach after eating. and never have
any headaches. have gained u
pounds in weight and feel better in
every way. Grape-Nuts make de-
licious o well as q nutritious dish,
and 4 md that Postum Il easily d.
CRESTED and never produces dyspepsia
i1gmpt ,3Se &.
Il, Name given BY Postum Co. BATHS
Creek, Mich.
Get the Htt1e book, "The Road to
MELVILLE 2, IN pkgs. There's .
Reason.S
IN. lBvse srsaa - aAove IsttsrS Il new
- n lIgs1 49, - tinnA. Thsy
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1911-04-28
Willing to Make an Effort,

I On q large estate in the Scottish
highlands it was the custom for a
piper to play in front of the house
every week day .morning to awaken
the residents. After an overconviv-
ial Saturday night, however, the piper
forgot the day and began his reveille
(can it be played on the pipes?) on
Sunday morning. The angry master
shouted to him from the bedroom win
dow: Here. do you not know the
fourth commandment" And the piper
sturdily replied: mae, sir. but yell
-hic-whustle it I'll-hic-try it, SIR"