The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1911-09-29
BUSINESS IS
BUSINESS
By M. QUAD
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1911, by Associated Lit
> erary Press.

The village of Exter numbered 1900
Inhabitants and was accounted an in
tercsting place. That was why George
Bailey, who had just graduated as a
dentist, opened parlors there. 1t could
be figured as straight as a string that
1900 men, women and children had
teeth enough to keep three dentists on
the hump.
1t was only natural that Mr.. Bailey
should observe the teeth Of the. people
he had come among. He me per-
haps n dozen in the 1000 whose teeth
were in good order. There was re
doubt that the graduate had com to
the right spot and struck a soft thing.
A week went by and Mr.. Bailey
hadn't had a customer. Then a second
week passed. Then he went about to
inquire what was the matter. He ran
NJ against a grocer, who told him.
Why. l supposed you knew all
shout it," said the grocer. Some six
years ago a dentist set up here, and in
pulling a tooth for old Mrs. Joyce
he pulled her neck out about two feet
long, and she died next day. Too
much neck. you see. The dentist had
to fly for his life. Since that date none
of us dare patronize a dentist"
At the end of the third week Mr..
Bailey offered to fix the teeth of a min
lister for nothing. The minister said
he was much obliged. but he hadn't
get. fulfilled his mission on earth.
Did Mr.. Bailey set his Office afire
and then go ont and hang himself?
Not at all. He knew just what to do
In such a case. and he did it. He went
us to Chicago and walked out a bit
until he found Professor Donaldson.
The professor was the champion pain
less tooth puller of America. BY day
he was in his office: when evening
came he dressed up as a harlequin
md drove about the streets and pulled
teeth without charge. Mr.. Bailey and
the professor had a long and chummy
tall: together, and an agreement was
reached. Three days after the talk
the dentist was back at Exter. \ day
later the professor followed. He had
a wagon and music. He had flags and
banners and prancing horses. He had
the whole town on the street, and he
delivered a lecture on bad teeth.
Bad teeth We're responsible for head
aches, fi%atulency. dimness of vision.
loss Of memory. biliOusness. liver cnm-
PLANT and n score Of other things. Bad
teeth filed graveyards. Bad teeth pre-
vented happy marriages. Bad teeth
caused half the crimes committed. Bad
teeth caused 10000 divorces per year.
IT was because of the bad teeth. OF
the soldiers that Germany conquered
France. It was only a lecture on bad
teeth and tho results this evening. To-
morrow evening the professor would
show the good people of Exter. what
q. true philanthropist he was. There
would be something doing. and it
shouldn't cost any citizen a cent.
When the next evening came the
professor. made a few general remarks
and ii offered to pull teeth free OF
charge. 1t would be painless. If any
one felt the slightest twinge of pain
that person was to be presented with a
five dollar gold piece. Aye. the pro-
fessor would do better than that. He
would furnish sets of false teeth at
the low price Of So a set. Single teeth
would he only 20 cents each. No more
headaches in Exter and the death rate
reduced 80 per cent.
Three evenings 1t took the professor
* .oox.L~ kho ln,A konkl> No h,,uk c,rl
nobody out a cent. There were a few
people who sympathized with Mr..
Bailey and called to tell him SO, but
he had folded his tent and gone of
fishing. and it was a long fortnight be-
fore he returned. What Of the people
who had got something for nothing?
They had had from n to six teeth
extracted. Many of them were ION
their gums alone. Scores were lisp
ing as they talked. Other scores ut
tered Il hiss as they started out to talk.
For three weeks they went about pat
ting each other on the back and call
Ing Professor Donaldson the friend of
humanity. Then it suddenly occurred
to some one to ask when he was going
"a return and make good. He had
been indefinite about the date. They
rushed to the Office of Dentist Bailey,
bnt he could tell them nothing beyond
the fact that he had the best kind. of
luck fishing. Letters were written to
the professor. but they remained UNI
answered. A committee was sent to
Chicago. 100 miles away, but 1t failed
to find its man.
Then you must see what happened.
Dentist Bailey was ready for the rush
that came. He had secured an assist
ant in a%nticipation. His stairs groaned
under the weight Of callers. They
wanted to be fitted from two -front
teeth to all their mouths would hold.
There was work for a year ahead. and
there was money in the work. 1t was
weeks and weeks before one man in
Exter would take another mans word.
but had to have everything in writing.
When 4 man Misses and liSDs and