davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFron, the Atchison lobe.

TFrom the Atchison lobe.1
good wing shot can't make much of
a salary at it
Every candidate is in position to prove
he is the logical one
Some men can whistle the same tune
a long time without learning it.
If you imagine time flies. it also indi-
Gates you are not waiting for parole.
We are easy, but you can't always win
US over by leaving a circular on our door
step.
Parrots live long time, and it is be-
lieved Nature made one or two other mis-
takes.
If talk on currency reform won't put
you to sleep. see a nerve specialist immed-
lately.
No doubt you pay for the candy the gro
Ger gives your children when you pay
Men who brag on their ancestors over
look the fact that probably they wore lace
collars.
not considered before. arrival as much as
they should be.
What has become of the old-fashioned
woman who made hominy by using wood
ashes for I've?
You may have observed that the gestic-
ulating orator frequently mistakes his
stomach for his heart.
While many men are not conceited in
other ways, each one believes his teeth
can ache harder than any Others
There are wives who make" their hus-
bands, as they have told you. Then there
are the other kind, who say less about
it.
Every once in a while the unusual hap
pens; we met an actor the other day who
didn't claim to come from New York
If one can't prove he is an aristocrat
without having the govt, the question
arises as to whether it is worth the price?
Every married woman feels she would
get rich if she were paid overtime for
homework. Still, under those circum-
stances, she might be locked for CAD
ding.
Speaking of fiction, that is also about
the only place one finds that style of
architecture which has secret stairWays
and hidden doors in the walls.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

From the Philadelphia Record.1
The first time a girl falls in love she
takes it seriously.
Some fellows are always dry and others
are wet blankets.
Laugh at your troubles. Even trouble
can't stand ridicule.
Some men go at their pleasure as
though they mean business.
1t doesn't require much inventive genius
for man to make a fool of himself
Some men never accomplish anything
because they are afraid of doing more
than their share.
The woman who let's her husband think
he is having his own way can do almost
anything with him.
Blobbs-"Do you think 1t is bad luck
to walk under a LADDER Slobbs-''Not
half such bad luck as to fall on one"
NeII-''Adiss Antique carries her age
very WELL Belle-"It's easy enough to
carry your age by dropping a few birth
days now and then
Wigg-'' Bjones is pretty hard to please,
isn't hep Wagg-'A Almost as hard 20
please as a college graduate looking for
his first job"
Ajax had Just concluded his great stunt
of denying the lightning. "Huht' snorted
the married man. That's nothing.
have Just defied my mother-in-lavv .
Whereupon Ajax felt like the proverbiaI
pinhead.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

toothache and wouldn't leave his bed
for wedding or funeral.
Four miles further on. explained
the good mans wife, was another
minister. That is, he called himself
a minister. She wasn't sayino. he was
or wasn't. She wasn't saying that any
ceremony he could perform would be
binding. She wasn't eavip~- whether
his fee was SO cents or 81. All she
knew about it was that he was a Rap-
fist while she was a Presbyterian.
The Baptist minister wasn't home.
He had gone to point nine miles
away to hold a funeral and hadn't re-
turned yet. He might return at any
moment. and he might be gone two
days. Whenever he got where there
was good cooking he hung on like grim
death. There was Mr.. White, the jus
tice OF the peace only two miles down
the road. He sometimes
The judge had gone to bed, but he
got up and stuck his head out of the
window and said he'd be hanged If he
would marry anybody in such a hurry.
Let them come back next day-next
week. He wasn't going to hurry mat
rimony at a 2:40 gait and then be
blamed for 1t afterward. He'd married
thirteen couples in a hurry and ten OF
them had applied for divorces.
The night was getting old, the
chauffeur kicking and the auto limp
ing, and it was decided to return home.
Just then another machine drew up,
and from it descended Mr.. John Bart
leet and wife and Mr.. James Wright
and wife.
why. daddy-why mammal"
Married yet?" was asked
mo"
Then this fellow has got to do it or
Well pull his house down"
But, daddy, we've eloped!' pro
tested the daughter
You haven't done any such thing.
We knew about it all the time"
But the quarrel?"
Nonsense. This old fool John said
the world was made in six DAYS and 1
said six years. He's come up to four
teen days and I've come down to fiji
t n days and we've decided that one
little day hasn't made a cents worth
of difference to the corn crop."-(Copy-
rishted, 1911, by Associated Literary
Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24
AYHAWKER JOTS

A school note in the Severy Journal:
One book seems forgotten in school
this year; it is the Bible.
Bert Walker of the Osborne Farmer
insists he ran across the smartest man
in the world the other day. He said.
Il can't tell a story and know it, and
therefore I don't try
A young lady went into dry goods
store the other day, relates the GaIena
Republican, and blushingly asked the
head clerk if he "had any of those
elastic bands capable of being elong-
ated and adjusted at pleasure, and
used by the feminine portion of man
kind for putting around the lower ex-
tremities of their locomotive members
to keep in the proper position and the
REQUIRED altitude habiliments Of
tibias." The clerk was heard after
ward asking City Engineer Ricksecker,
for a lob on the sewer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24
KANSAS COMNENT
THE TWO REFoRMs.


The League of Kansas municipal
tiles is in session, trying to see what
can be done toward more perfect gov
eminent of cities. They have evolved
numerous plans for better law en-
forcement-it is always easy to offer
plan for reform. But plans don't
always prevent. The heads of Kan
sas towns are probably in earnest in
trying to find the solution of better
government and believe that they are
on the right track=which might pos
sibly be true.
But after these good men and true
have dallied over the subject for a
few days they will eventually come
to where every other head of a town
has arrived before-the place where
they will realize that the solution lies
in the training OF minds and not in
the training of policemen; in the forg-
ing of civic morality, not the forma-
ton of thug-Slugging force of cops.
All reform that is aimed at the hab-
ltually unrighteOuS is a failure. And
the reason it is a failure is because
it is intended to keep crooked men
from being crooked instead of max
Government has tried to make "ex-
amples" out of men so that others
would not try to follow their exam
pies. But that is only half reform.
1t is easy to formulate punishment
What would be still better would be
to spend more time in trying to point
out the moral advantage of being de-
cent. Punishment and prevention
ought to work in equal doses
1t is lOp-Sided justice to develop one
phase of reform and ignore the 9th
er. It may be a beautiful and bene-
ficent lesson to humanity to hang
q man, but it would be vastly bet
ter thing to have befriended him and
given him a moral checking up before
he shook hands with crime, and made
it a pal.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

In childhood's world, Of a rainy day,
When nothing, outside, the child could
do,
There still remained one weirdest play.
Which 7 played till shivered through
and throrfhi
Two pieces of mirror. and between
There was the self that smiled as
smiled;
Beyond, a second-a third-was seen.
And last. oh, last. was an Elfin child!
Each face in the mirror (nirrored, tool
Gazed at its inage-and all at me;
But each reflection less like me grew
And l shut my eyes, that I might not
see:
Those broken shards they were cast away,
Dropped with many childish game
Yet, still, at the mirror charm play
With no glass at all, it is just the same.
For thought, now, serves me mirror wise;
And, whenever within list to gaze,
There, frankly looking me in the eyes,
Is the wonted self, of my current days!
But, back of that wonted self of mine
Gust as it happened so long ago.,
Are the other selves; and, last in the line,
Is the mocking one I do not know
Edith M. Thomas, in Scribners s.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24
ADVERTISING Talks


I wonder how many people. II any. ever
give a thought TO the tremendous amount
of detail required 70 perfect "A railroad
system. Are we not too apt 20 take every
thing as a matter Of course2
We read the railroad advertisements
which tell about special trains that are
run for our convenicnce-about the de-
tails planned for our comfort while trav-
cling and knowing the management 70
be UP to date, we accept What they Ten
US, never quite realizing, however, what
a perfect system must be back OF all OF
the arrangements in order TO carry them
out.
I was travelling from Philadelphia TO New
York the other night. carelessly left the
case containing my eyeglasses on the
train and did not miss IL until an hour
was attending the monthly gathering
of the Representatives Club, and wanted
to use the glasses. IL occurred 70 me 70
send a note to the Lost and Found depart
ment at the Pennsylvania Station de-
scribing the glasses, and SAYING that
had left them in Car =, Seat 2, and TO
thew we're found. The messenger return
ed with the glasses
This is only a small part OF the man
agement OF railroad system The IN
eistence upon employees on trains picking
m lost packages and delivering them 70
the Lost and Found Bureau, and doing TX
promptly, is a real service TO the pubic
which the public does not often appre-
10 do such things effectively. means
that every employee on every train anu ~
employees in the Lost and Found Bureau
must be men who are on their JOB ana
who are honest, and II is great tribute
to a railroad system that can 50 manage
its affairs that its employees are always
Interested in serving the public.
Back of any advertising done by fner-
chant or railroad must be the element OF
CTo be continued)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

from the Chicago News
Anyway. a cook book is full of good
ideas.
People. may be well posted without be-
ing stuck up.
If you are standing in your own light
you can't see it.
Few men would care to flirt-if all wo-
men were past 40.
It's easy to convince a spinster that it
is unwise to marry young.
Many a man in search of a job ought to
stay at home and send his wife.
You may have noticed that nearly all
standpat politicians occupy comfortable
seats.
A girl can be awfully surprised to learn
that a man loves her when she knew it
all the time.
A woman has to have a lot of faith 10
believe that her husband never thinks OF
any woman but her
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24
JOURNAL ENTRIES

When charity begins at home it
generally stays there
The best of friends don't hobnob
with each other a great deal.
Some people are too stingy even to
pass out an occasional compliment.
r. n x
Any number of women can devote
q whole day to shopping without
spending a cent.
Many women seem to think that
they're the only ones who are entitled
to vote in the state of matrimony-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

Colonel Roosevelt says the judiciary
must be brought within the control of
the judgment of the people, but he
thinks this control should be "eXer-
cised more cautiously and in differ
ent fashion than the control by the
people over the legislator and the exc
cutive'' This seems like the colonel
was opposed to the recall of judges
in the ordinary way that legislative
and executive officers are recalled, and
in the only way that is being advocat-
ed by the frieDds of thu nlan
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

IFNrom the New York Press.J
Republics aren't any more ungratefuI
than intimate friends.
A man tries to appreciate his family by
appreciating himself.
A girl wants to get married early be-
cause she ought to know better.
Understanding a woman would be easy
enogh for a man if she ever wanted
him to-
After the kind of paper It is written on.
the next most important thing to girl
about a love Letter IS the underscoring.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

Considering the trouncing that was
given to the Chicago Cubs by the Whit ;
Sox. what would have happened to tile
cubs had they won the National League
pennant and been compelled to go up
against Connie Mack's men? Four
straight shutOUts would have probably
been their portion. Still, you can never
tell. Nothing is more uncertain tI.aE
baseball "doheH
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

Some of the chickens counted be-
fore they were Matched turned up in
the criticisms of the AIdrich plan for
banking and currency reform. These
criticisms were based on what certain
wise men thought this plan was going
to be. 1t turns out to be something
entirely different. And regardless of
any merits it may have, it will likely
be criticized severely just because Mr..
Aldrich has promulgated it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

China doesn't appear to be as back
ward in the equipments of an adj
vanced civilization as some people
have painted her. News of the bat
ties in the revolution is being trans
mitted to the outside world by wire
less biography.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

If the weather doesn't clear up at
the scene of the hostilities, the nation
wide agony and suspense incident to
getting a decision in the baseball
championship series will be prolonged
indefinitely. 1t may be necessary to
turn them into football contests or
hockey matches. Baseball can't be
played on a field of ice.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

With the hunting season in Kansas
just opening, reports are beginning to
come in. not of welEfHed game bags.
but of hunters manned and injured
through the accidental discharge of
guns. either in their own hands or the
hands of companions.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

No one can blame the woman who is
suing the Pullman company for s1O,-
600 damages because she was com
PEELED to walk before a number of
people from one sleeper to another in
her nightie. Next to a man in a
nightshirt. a woman in the same kind
of a costume presents the worst pos
sible picture, and especially if her HAIR
is done UP on curl papers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

A Chicago judge has warned women
bridge" enthusiasts that they are
liable to punishment for gambling.
Things are coming to a pretty pass
Are society folk not to enjoy few
exclusive PRIVILEGES?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

Daughters of the Confederacy de-
clare that a certain American history
is a libel on the south AS with every
thing else. it is impossible to find a
history that will please everybody.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

It is beginning to look as though the
Ellsworth murderer had made a safe
getaway. Still there is nothing very
strange about that. He wouldn't have
had so much luck. though, in this
particular if he had been a bank
robber or a horse-thief.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

No wonder Germany suddenly turn
ed her conversation with France
about Morocco into a less noisy key
England's great navy was ready to
take a hand in the game. So was
Russia's big army. In other words
# appears that Kaiser Wilhelm must
behave himself. or the rest of the ma
tions of Europe will join hands and
see that he is properly spanked.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

Mr. Hearst has returned to the regu-
lar ranks of the Democratic party.
But he never got so far away from
them as to support Republican candi-
dates for any of the major offices of
tho land
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

Now that a Chicago dog has been
equipped with twelve gold teeth, it is
likely that Jack johnson will have his
set with diamonds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

Once in a while a man lands just
where he belongs. Pat Grove is in
Chicago jail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

There appears to be some hope for
the Filipinos. Many of them are re-
ported to be willing to work.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

Il made a big hit with that woman. all
right"
what did YOU say to her2'
Nothing. just kept still and listened"
Kansas City Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24
CHAPTER Ill
Continued from Page one.)

-----ANSDlll4luSu from idSe One.J s.
But before We get to the point: In
today's mail rather timely letter
came from Mr.. ]. A. Wright, one Of
the good and valued friends of this
who seems to have an appropriate
name, in the course OF his letter says:
Pleased to note that you have fin
ally concluded to defend yourself
from the attacks-unnecess at
tacks of the Topeka Capital Other
staunch friends of the Journal here
also express the same satisfactory
sentiment over your front page arti-
Gle in Saturdays issue. 1t seems
strange to us people up here, how
ever, that the Capital has the largest
circulation anywhere. as the State
Journal has four times, or more, the
circulation here that the Capital has.
In fact the State Journal sends a big
ger bundle through the postoffice
here. than any other paper pub
lished.''
Now isn't that a fine letter.
Lebanon is away out in Smith
county, about $50 miles northwest of
Topeka. Without looks up the par
ticular towns. we are inclined to VEN
ture suggestion that a similar sit
uation in regard to the relative sizes
of the eirculations of this paper, and
OF that of our esteemed contempor-
airy, exists at many other points in
Kansas, but we are naming no names,
now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

The state Journals criticism of Mr..
Capper for selling dictionaries is this
The dictionary is a good one and worth
the 90 cents, but why try to fool the
public? This Identical dictionary is sod
in New York city, no coupons needed,
at book stores and department stores,
for from 65 to 20 cents, and if Topeka
book stores desired TO sell this book
for 50 cents, or less, they could pre-
cure it for price which would enable
them to sell it as cheap as Mr.. Capper
sells it, but the book stores would have
this disadvantage. Mr.. Capper has not
only one newspaper, bit he has fifty
seven varieties dai1ies, weeklies and
monthlies. He has an immense job
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

But what is our friend Arthur
talking about right now? He has
claimed to you that the Topeka Cap
itaI was the only paper which was
printing its circulation, shrieking. be-
tween his political functions at the
A. H T. A, and other functions. that
the State Journal does not dare 70
print the exact figures Of it's local cir
culation! So?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

What we are trying to show our
readers is this: The Topeka Capital
is making a terrible noise in this com
munity and in the state and particu-
larly in the east, whence comes the
large amount of foreign advertising.
In Topeka they are kicking up a good
deal of dust into the eyes of their
readers. They have made assertions
which they can not prove and instead
of proving they are making more
noise.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

Now we havc no desire to make
book of these "reminiscences and are
perfectly willing to cut off the copy
at the end of this chapter third, but
there is material on file in this office
for a few more chapters if demanded,
but we would rather use space f'r
matters of public concern rather than
of a personal nature as this sort of an
article must necessarily be.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-24

In discussing this the State Jour
nal has been exceedingly careful t.
avoid malice, for it has none. It wants
to be distinctly and positively under
stood that 1t has no personal feel
ing against Mr.. Capper and the Cap
itaI. although they have grossly
abused this paper and without cause
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-11-29
For the Benefit
Of Pensacola.

There are very few knockers in Pen
sacola. What few there be are so very
Insignificant that they do not hurt the
city or it's people in the least. but
there are some-in fact a large num-
ber-who have not the get-up- and
get feeling that is required to make a
city reach a prosperous state in the
shortest time. This is not caused from
any lack of interest in the Deep Wa
pie have never realized fully the ne
cessity of concerted effort.
Concerted effort is what it requires
to make city. You cannot expect
the greatest things if you wait for
your neighbor to do something for you
is sure to follow.
Yesterday morning The Journal car
ried an editorial suggesting that a
canning factory be established in Pen
sacola. During the day several per-
sons expressed themselves as favoring
such a project, and If every person in
terested in the welfare of Pensa col.
CUulu bS HStlId 1IOIl III all
everyone would approve the sugges-
ton. but unless someone feels enough
interest to get these interested persons
together nothing will result. can
ming factory would be the entering
wedge to a great industry, for the pro-
duce grown in this fertile section
would know no bounds and hundreds
of persons would find employment
here. But that is not the most i'm
portant feature of the benefit to be de-
rived. although the city needs indus
tries to employ laborers. The furnish
ing to farmers of a sure market for
the produce is the main object in view,
and the sooner this is done the sooner
Pensa cola is benefited.
A stock company to operate a large
canning industry may be organized
and operated without one person
having to bear all of tht expense il
you will do your part. 1t means money
to you.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-11-29
PENSACOLA

bilities, with these, are practically
without limitation. The world is
bound to do its part. The elements OF
your success, or your failure. are not
in luck" or signs but within your
self.
The best places in all lines are ever
open. The pearly gates of success still
swing on their silver hinges to him
who rightly applies the golden key OF
wise effort.
The young man who idly waits for
his lucky chance" to turn up is sure
to be disappointed. All chances worth
having are created-they are self
made. To the man not fitted for them
they are not chances at all.
And get rid of that deadening super
stitution called advantage 1t is as
delusive as faith in the stars. There
is no real advantage but in superior
chara means equipment
and force. All circumstances are its
creatures.