davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
). Comic Opera.

Comic opera is a small Joke entirely
surrounded by u If necessary,
the joke may be omitted and more cos
tunes added. Next to the moving pic
ture show the comic opera is h chief
boon Of the deaf man. It is constructed
by a stage manager with an eye for
beauty and a press agent with an eye
for truth-a weather eye. The stage
manager hires the chorus, costumes
Observation-Disclosures teaches them
how to dance. play football. walk on
their hands. scratch their ears with
their toes. ride in automobiles. and
turn their mash notes over to the press
very hard one, and most Of them are
compelled to retire on their Incomes at
an early age.
The chorus in the comic opera Is as
sisted by q comedian or prtma n
whose business 1t is to furnish a name
for the headlines in the playbills. The
chorus attends to the headlines In the
newspapers. The comedian is SO called
because Of the costume which he
wears. A good comedian will often
wear a costume with as many as SO
dictinct laughs in 1t. The clowns
abandoned as too conventional in late
years.
The scenery is also an important part
OF comic opera. A very comic opera
will sometimes carry 10 carloads Of
scenery. The scenery Is very popular
because 1t does not sing or dance and
seldom insists on being encored.
There is also music in a comic opera.
Originally. new music was written for
each new opera. but nowadays our nat
ural r conserved and the
same music Is used In all Of them. This
years operas use last years tunes
backwards. Next years operas will
cut the melodies in two and shuttle
them. Music Is now used chiefly to
drown The conversation Of the chorus
and to keep the audience from hearing
the words Of the songs.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05

Most comic operas have also what is
called a book. This consists Of the
conversation used by the principals. 1t
Is written after the opera is completed
in order not to interfere with the spe-
cialties. 1t was done by the property
man until his duties became too i'm
portant. 1t is now lone by the call
boy.
We approach the subject of the ioke
In the comic opera. There are six
original comic opera jokes, all Of which
are still In use. They are the informal
king joke. the stern father joke, the
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
"RuIes Of etiaustte require passengers
to dress in the berths."

Instead of in the aisles. AS u result
of this. American contortionists now
lead the world. Women often travel
in sleeping cars but the company
doesn't encourage the practice. 1t has
made the women's toilet room 80 small
that only one DIN at n time can
occupy 1t. n II two women are in a
car one OF them has to get up at $
O'Clock I'm order to give both a chance
to dress before breakfast.
Sleeping cars are now so numerous
hat the company finds great difficulty
in finding anne for them. 1t has ex-
hausted the names of countries. cities
and operas. but If it will now start In
on the names which passengers have
called sleeping cars. it will be amply
provided for all time to come.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
5. The Gas Meter.

The gas meter IL to mechanism what
Baron Munchausen is to literature. 1t
is i%naccuracy protected by a patent.
petual motion yet discovered. Leave
a gas meter absolutely alone in a de-
serted house for months at a time and
1t will work quietly but faithfully with
out stopping wen for meals.
The gas meter Is used by gas COM
panies to prove that the consumer has
burning his lights all night and
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
omeIets or erilss.

From the Washlngt0n 8t0r,
Senator MARITIME. OF New ~Jersey-tho
farmer SENATOR az it is his pride to be
led relating in Washington men,
cries Of his farm life.
What quaint minds" he said. have
those New Jersey colored folks who work
New Jersey farms. ! remember an old
uncle who once paused in q Job OF potato
hoeins to sing in my ears the praise Of
chickens.
"'Chickens.' he said. is 50 accommo.
datin'. Dey's 80 accommodatin'. sur, 70.
can eat en- befo' dey's bawn. Q n yo' can
cot 'oA ahftaA dex'a dead"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05

ways. They are a great assistance on
smoking cigars, in waiting for ducks
and IN disesting dinners. A great many
men find 1t impossible to support a
large heavy bar in an expensive saloon
without the aid Of several friends.
Friends can be sworn at with COM
parative safety. and the man who loves
to tell d~isagreeable truths in an Of
~fensivciy frank manner would not live
long II he were compelled to practice
upon strangers instead OF friends.
Friends are blood relatives o. pro-
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
Friends.

A friend is a nan who IL willing to
share his time. his money and his con
versation with you.
There are many kinds OF friends.
Some friends exist for evenue only
and some are protective to q high de-
gree. A true friend 10 q better defend
er than q battleship and a. q convent
ence has . national bank beaten all
around the compass.
: Friends are useful IN . multitude Of
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
"Thers 10 also music in q Comic Opera"

other mans wife joke. the German ac-
cent joke, h gloomy dungeon Joke and
the slangy- with the -pancake-hat
joke. Comic operas are also afflicted
with puns. a disease which was intro
duced by Gilbert and Sullivan. The
joke n the comic opera is introduced
to keep the audience from laughing at
the enO in the love scene.
Comic operas are useful because they
keep our m~illtonaire's sons SO busy tina
they have no time to learn to organize
new trusts.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
"Ths Ga. Meter bring. light to the
homo, iiohtness to the poekstbook

uHu AVt1etVU 90 sU0 sSWPvs.
has been sending up balloons from the
roof. 1t is a small box with ace and
hands like a clock. Here the resem-
blance stops, however. You cannot turn
the meter back and 1t does not run
down. It Ices o no good to neglect
the gas meter. 1t keeps on going any
way. The man who will patent an at
tachment which will enable a man. to
stop his gas meter by forgetting to
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05

makes an insignificant omission mr.
charges sc straight for three extra COME.
he Is a stingy. careless. go~od-for-nothin~
old cuss who never gets anything ri9ht
and charges four times the price Of city
papers twice as large.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
Always Asking.

sFrom the London Opinion.
Friend-What about the rent Of a Mac.
like this: I suppose the landlord ask.
. lot for it,
'aardup-Y.s IS. rather--he's always asking
Ter It.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03
a sparkslnc Novelist.

A New York editor. at the Century
club. told . story sbout Robert w.
Chambers. the weli,krown young nov
clist>
chambers went one summer.- he
said. TO Sunapee with his brother At
The Bon Mere Inn tho &risticratfc old
ladies IN rocking chairs. seated on the
cool piazza that overlooks the lake.
were very much stirred up by Mr.
Chambers arrival Whenever he ap-
peared they gathered about him and
talked books.
Chambers was always ready FOR
them. He had always on his bps some
witty saying to double them up.
oh. Mr.. Chambers. erted an old
lady one day, 4 admire Lorraine so
much! I'VE read It eight tfmes!'
Madam answered Chambers. with
q bow 4 would rather hear you say
you'd bought eight copies"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03

ground, He next placed some shelled
corn in the bottom Of the jug and a.
board on the top, which was held in
place by a heavy stone. The side has
been broken away in the drawing to
better illustrate the idea. The jug
was forgotten for several days, when
the farmer found it and, wondering
what it was, raised the board and
found nine full-grown rats in the bot
tom and four mice. The trap has now
been in use for some time and Is OPP
ened every day or two and never
fails to have from one to 1--WE or six
rats and mice in it. AS the idea is
play for the boys. several other boys
in that section have made one or more
of the traps. and in every instance
they report that the traps get the
rodents.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03
A Transaction in Stamps.

The stamp vending machines in
stalled In many stores and shops about
the city are not favored by woman
who hurried into drug store in Mas.
sachusetts avenue several days ago.
where there is branch post office.
! How do you sell your two-cent
stamps?" she inquired Indignantly.
Two cents apiece replied Bassett.
Well, that's all right" she replied.
while she fished in her purse for a
coin. This Is the fifth, place / have
visited after stamps AT all the other
places they had those slot machines
where you have to spend a nickel for
two two-cent stamps. I made up my
mind not to be held up If | had to
walk all over the city. Give me two
stamps"
The woman laid down dime and
hurried out with two two-cent stamps,
leaving six cents in change lying on
the show case. She did not return.
Indianapolis News
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03
~ MAKE A WIRE sTRETcHER
Tool Shown in illustration Will Hold
All Kinds Of Wire and VIII
Also Pull Bolts.

A wire stretcher made as shown In
the accompanying sketch will prove a
very useful tool, as it will hSld all
kinds Of wire and can also be employ
ed for pulling bolts. If they are easily
accessible. writes j. N. Bagley of Web
Der. Kan, in the Popular Mechanics.
The handle. A, is forged from u by
1 n in. stock and should be about Is
In. long. Shape it as shown, and
drill hole for 1s-in. bolt or rivet at
the upper end. The upper part B is
made of the same material and is
shaped with an Offset as shown. This
Offset allows the pressure at the post
TO be in line with the handle, thus
preventing the tool from having ten
dency to turn In the hand. The roller
G is " In. thick and IN in. in diam
eter and is also attached with a ~
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03


Archibald Terhune, popular and In
doient young bachelor Of London, re-
ceives news that he has been made heir
to the estate1 of his Aunt Georgiana, with
an Income Of Zoo year, on condition
that he becomes engaged to be married
within ten days. Failing to do 70 the
legacy will 20 to third cousin In Amer
lea. The story opens at Castle Wyckon.
where Lord Vincent and his wife. friends
OF Terhune, are discussing plans 70 md
him wife within the prescribed time. X
seems that Lady Vincent 70 one Of seven
persons named Agatha, all close girlhood
chums She decides to invite two of them
ITO the castle and have Archie there as
one Of the guests. Agatha Sixth strikes
Archie as a handpainted beauty. Agatha
First Is a breezy American girl Lady.
Vincent tells her husband that Agatha
Sixth already cares for Archie He gains
from agatha Eixth the admission that
she cares fcr Kim, but win require a
morris time fully to make MP her mind.
sA6atha First. neglected by T4rhuae, re-
ceives attentions from Leslie Freer. -Four
days Of the precious time have passed
when Terhune Is called to London on
bua' agatha FIRST on the plea OF
sickness. excuses herself from a motor
TRIP planned by the, vsncenta Later they
eee Agatha First picking flowers with a
strange man The vfnceuts discuss
Agathass seeming dupEcfty The follow
ing day theE party visits the ruins Of an
old convent Terhune continues his at
tentdons to Agatha Sixth. Then suddenly
he tran~fers hts attentions to Agatha
First. V,nrent scores him Tor his appar-
emit fckIenesa
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03

tinct Improvement over both the ordi-
nary split log drag and the harrow.
The drawing is sufficiently plain to
show the method of construction, and
the cost for the iron attachments for
holding the teeth need not be great
The teeth Of course can be set in q
wooden frame, though they are less
satisfactory SO, because less readily
adjustable. This implement has been
used on the farm where it was made
for number of years and has been
found equally effective in the field or
on the road.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03
Art leads Language and Science.


The fact is that art is working far
ahead Of language as well as OF sci
ence realizing for us. BY all manner ot
suggestions and exaggsrations. effects
tor which as ret We have no name;
nay Tor which we may never perhaps
have direct name. for the reason that
these effects do not enter very largely
INTO the necessities OF life. Hence
alone Is that suspicion OF vagueness
that often hangs about the purpose Of
"a romance; Il is clear enough to as
in thought; but we are not used TO CON
slider anything clear until we are able
20 formulate it in words, and analytical
language has not been suncIently
shaped to that end. It Is not that
there Is anything bEurred or indefinite
IN the impression left With us. It is
lust because the impression Is so very
definite after its own kind. that We
fndsit hard to 1T Il exactly with the
expressions Of cur philosophical
spe scn.--Robert Louis Stevenson
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03

..r,....,... ..s,.,z..,Y
III. ~. q, - - 800 80 '.s 81
: 80 q ~ sSss, 80 Z, -
s. III s.. : =. 49,. $3.50 ~ *,
80. Z 1870 ~ - '''osa'1 "a ss.''A
Ana ssave gVu - pe kailea ~
alohe 1 NeyeIa
seAsslnes, aaa,H = WITH z SOFT e
toha ISefes' ny WIG y uhEeePehAp ie.
At wouldn't help any II you were
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03

IN all policies of Insurance these.
among host Of other questions. oc-
cur: Age Of father If living?" "Age
of mother. living?" A man in the
country who filled up an application
made hts fathers age. IF living" one
hundred and twelve years. and his
mothers one hundred and two The
agent was amazed at this. and fancied
he had secured an excellent customer;
but. feeling somewhat dubious. he re-
marked that the applicant came Of
very longlived family. -Oh. you see.
SIR" replied he. my parents died
many years ago. but. II living. would
be aged as there put down. Exactly
] understand" said the agent
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03
CHATTER Xxi

Il wss the very last evening Of the
time that had been allotted Terhune
In which TO select 10 wife. Tbs fox
lowing day was to see Solicitor Barnes
ct luncheon with as at ons o'clock
precisely, Dearest having invited him
n accordance with Mrs. James re-
guest that be should be the referee
present Ut the house when the last
minute Of Terhune's ten days OF grace
should expire, and his expected pres
ence at the meal brought It home to
as what decisive one It must Of
necessity be- Decisive was indeed the
right word to use in connection with
that meal! For II old Arch was still
free and unafianced when he sat down
to It, he might as well never have
been nephew Of hfs aunt as far as tn
hertting that aunt's property was con,
cerncd.
Dearest was inclined, being optimis-
tic enough TO hope for consunma.
ton Of his engagement to Agatha
sixth before that time to make Of the
luncheon sort Of tnarriage-feast in
honor Of that event. and was already
planning famous Ices end cakes Of a
hymeneaI nature But Arch seemed
not to view the approach OF the cru
ctal day with such light heart. His
thoughts at dinner that night were 30
sbsent, tn fact, as to force one to con.
cInde that the spectre Of HIS aunt's
&.nirl cousin seated upon the veranda
OF the house in Australia with pos
seasive feet on the railing had be-
come lis familiar spirit.
II was this apparent anxiety Of his
and his feverish devotion to Agatha
Sixth that utterly unprepared me for
the unfortunate denouement later.
The evening had ended at last and
Dearest and had succeeded In start
ing a general move toward retiring
for the night We had been playing
bridge that Is. the two Agathas had
with Terhalne and the Inevitable
Freer, while my wife AMI / stood BY
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03
Rotation for Hay Crops.

Wheat, corn and other crops are no
more improved by rotation than hay.
The MINNESOTA Experiment Station
shows that q Extraordinarily cut for
hay the past is years has given an
average yield of 1.7S tons per acre,
while on a plot under three-year rota-
ton Of wheat. clover and corn hay has
yielded the past ten years an average
of 2.9 tons per acre.
In five-year rotation of wheat, tim
othy and clover, pasture, oats and
corn, the hay has yielded an average
of 3.9 tons per acre since 1900 Eight
tons of manure per acre were applied
once in five years on the fve-year
plots. There is money in manure.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03
HANDY IMPLEMENT ON ROADS
May BE Considered Distinct Improve
nnent Over Split log Drag and
Harrow Useful on Farm.

We recently visited model farm
and one Of the most attractive fea-
lures about 1t was the condition in
which the roads. both on the farm and
the adjacent highway, were kept by
use Of the split-log drag. This is a
matter of real economy, as well as of
good looks. A visit to another farm
showed modified device which we
had never seen used elsewhere, and
which is the invention Of the owner.
1t is so effective that drawing ,of it
is shown herewith 1t is really com
bination of harrow and split log drag.
The harrow teeth are attached in such
q manner that they can be let down
and the implement used as a harrow
only, or the teeth can; be raised and
Che implement used as drag only.
II the teeth are set level with the bot
tom Of the drag, 1t forms an excellent
ciod crusher, and Its weight is such
that 1t can be nicely handled with an
ordinary farm team. There are cer-
tain roads which require a good deal
OF whipping into shape before they be-
come good dirt roads. This work can
be done by split log drag If time is
taken for it, says the Kansas Farmer.
It can be done more readily by the
combination implement illustrated
herewith, as will be shown on trial.
AS this implement has a value in
the field that Is equalled by that on
the road, it may be considered dis
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03

Lima Beans do not require very
rich soil and are easily grown.
We can save a lot of time and work
next summer by carefully planning
now.
Going to raise third crop of corn
on the same land next year? Great
mistake,
Protect the pastures, which should
be a feature of considerable import
ance on any farm.
1t is a very easy matter to protect
the pastures if the sod is not per-
mitted to become thin.
Great fun chopping down the use
less live trees and chopping the dead
ones on the ground.
I The woodpile ought to be growing
daily now Saving wood in the sum-
mer time is tough and useless job.
Any backyard 4Ox50 feet with de-
cent soil can be made to yield enough
summer vegetables to supply a fam
lily of six.
Feed cattle all you can afford to
during the time they are at pasture,
as that helps to keep the pastures in
good condition.
If your neighbor casts longing eye
on your best brood mare be sure she
is worth as much to you as to him
and hang on to her.
Taking one year with another, on
ions viii prove most profitable crop.
They are in demand in the markets
every month in the year.
Poultry house manure is wonder
full thing for the garden, but it should
not be applied in the hill, or it will
burn the roots of the plants.
The time to clean seed wheat is in
the winter Wei will have time to do
a better job then than the day before
we commence sowing in the spring.
Some men have the idea that man
can make a good hand on the farm
if he is big, husky and active without
having learned the business, but it is
a great mistake.
When the pastures get short in the
summer feed some oil meal, besides
some green food. such as corn stalks. /
The meal especially benefits the pas
lures in the droppings Of cattle.
Celery must have deep. mellow and |
very rich soil 1t is useless to buy |
plants and spend money and time in
planting and working the crop unless
the lrst conditions are fully met ]
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03

ard cut in now and then We had OBJ
served with pleasure that the party
Of four had divided itself exactly as
we would have arranged it ourselves;
Terhune and Agatha Sixth were part
ners, as were Agatha First and Freer.
Better STILL Agatha Sixth seemed quite
to have forgotten the unhappy cpl.
sode Of the waterfall when Arch had
so obviously missed his cue, an was
onenly basking in the return of her
edmirer's devotion And Agatha First.
too. seemed quite contented. not d
whit disturbed by this attitude on my
friends part and mildly amused by
he attempted gaIlantries of the rec
or's son from Wye. 1t was, in fact, a
thoroughly happy little foursome, and
as SPECTATOR OF Its content felt
particularly pleased when thought
Of what Arch had ccnfidei to me just
before dinner. That he Intended Ia
obtain definite, and what he seemed
to consider, a favorable answer. from
Agatha Sixth on the morrow.
We had all gone to bed. and the
night was well advanced, when i was
awakened from the rfppingest kind Of
q sleep by the loudest kind OF bang
you ever heard IN your life. It came
from the big drawing-room. which We
did not often use, directly below my
room, and woke me at once. II sound
ed for al the world as II some one
or something had knocked over one
of the endless number Of statuettes.
heavy vases or little tables that make
a regular auction shop Of the place
and | struggled into my bath robe To
minute to 50 and see what It was.
Dearests room adjofned mine and /
listened at the door to find out II she
had been awakened. and hearing moth
lne from her. went on my way down
stairs,
didn't much believe It could be .
burglar: | had hazy notion that 1t
might be one Of the dogs who had
gotten IN there somehow. There are
no end Of the big brutes about the
place and sometimes one gets into the
house for the night in spite OF Dear
est. So wasn't IN the least alarmed
or apprehensfye. and was just about
to lay my hand on the drawing>room
folding doors. which were at the foot
OF the stairs. when heard the highest
possible tread on the stairs behind
me and soft hand elutched my arm
II was Dearest. of course. 20 Fred
dy." she gasped. what Is IT."
zone Of the dogs. l expect" / told
her, What made you conner?
Why she said in an indignant lit
tie whisper, Il came after you. of
course! Do you think I'D let you go
all alone?s
why net?" ! whispered. .I,m a
man. Besides. there's nothing TO be
afraid of
20. but there Isl" she assured me.
'''it's burglars-I know IT H. They've
come 70 steal the Wyckhoff emeraids.
know they have!"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1911-02-03
j BoYs TRAP IS EFFECTIVE


An ingenious and rather mischiev-
Gus 12-year-old Barton county, Mo-.
boy found two gallon old-fashioned
fruit jug or jar that had been thrown
out by his mother, and while playing
In the yard close to grain house dug
a hole and buried the stone jug as
shown in the accompanying illustra-
ton, says the Homestead He next
got his hammer and made the hole
shown at the top and just above the