The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-05-28
GIRLS-REAL, IDEAL AND
 ARTIFICIAL-A TREATISE
Fly c. H. MANDY

1 sembe animated hat-rack or a dis
 carded bean pole: her voice may com
 bine the rasping of cross-cut saw with
 the dulcet notes of a sereech owl; her hands may be like sun-cured hams, and
 her ample feet with heels that stick out behind like a jaybird's. Again, enough. 1 Again. words, mere words, utterly fail l 10 depict feminine face and form as they sometimes are.
 l As in the other case, it is not given
 that any one person should be possessed 1 of all the foregoing "charms.n An other
 wise pretty face may have a nose so
 ''retrousse' that you could hang your l hat on it, or a complexion like a dark l dreay, drizzly night, or wrinkles like the I furrows of a newly ploughed field.
 Yet not one need despair, for Wizard l Burbank has not accomplished more in l the plant world than has the beauty spe- l cialst: for by arts, aids and appliances
 assisted by the product of the laboratory and the "apothecarys shop and the
 scientific skill of the dentist, the most
 unprepossessing may be transformed as completely as the unlovely caterpillar
 merges into a lovely butterfly.
 l If women owe a debt of gratitude to 1 anyone, it is to the dentist. Since his advent pretty women have increased 75 i per cent. Did you ever see a sure enough | pretty girl minus her front teeth? Suf- 1 fering cats and jumping Moses, what a disillusion! It makes you want to shriek or take hurried trip to the most deso-
 late regions of the Sahara desert!
 But this is a Aggression. Back to the beauty doctor. A few visits to the mas sageur and the ugly wrinkles disappear like dew before the morning sun. By the duplication of bloom of youth" or other kindred preparations. the parchment com plexion becomes one rivaling the fresh I ness of peaches and cream. Given an hair dresser and a vial of dye, the carrotty 1 locks become on aureole of yellow and l gold or tresses that rival the blackness of a ravens wing. Slight surgical oper- ation and the horrible "squnt" disap- pears and eyes that are truly windows of the soul' may gaze into yours. A I visit to the dentist and the ''yawning chasm, is lined with rows of pearl ad- ding a thousand-fold to her smile, ana the mouth become kissable whereas be- l fore the back of a spoon or a turnip would have been preferable.
 The nose specialist molds the ugly pug into classic Grecian or Roman, as pre- l ferred; and last but not by any means least by the use of ''plumpers," forms" developers, shapes" and other various and sundry appliances, the form that re- sembes a sack of potatoes tied in the middle, or that has the contour of a fish l ing rod, may become as sylph-like as Venus and as graceful as a fairy's.
 So when Maud Kate has avaied herself of these opportunities and emerges forth
 becomingly attred in clinging dress of dainty white lingerie" looking as fresh as a primrose and as pure as a water lily, John Peter gazes on her with enraptured eyes, and even though she be all puff
 powder, paint and padding" she looks good to him, and the five dollar William" that he has been saving up to buy him self a safety razor or a pair of summer pants with goes for two tickets to the show and a visit to Nunnallys on the side. Who shall deny the right of the dear, dainty darings to enhance her charms 1 by judicious use of "aids to beauty" if 1t makes them more attractive? It is the prerogative of woman to do as she pleases, so far as her personal appear ance is concerned, barring the harem skirt and kindred atrocities. So if she desires to add one iota to her loveliness by using arts and aids.' who shall gainsay her? Provided of course, that she does not put them on with trowel.