Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1911-05-04
mo DECISION IN
WH|SKER DEBATE
CARTER AND CANNON CLASH
WITH LoNGWoRTH AND TAY.
LoR TO A DRAW.
CLARK THE REFEREE
Speaker Decides to Refer the Whole
Matter to Ways and Means com-
mittee of House Which 10
Considering Wool Schedule.

SOUot00SIVS vVOOt OSVeQuIos
II Washington, May 3.-That much.
Iheralded debate between bald heads
and Whiskers' which was pulled Off
last night under the auspices Of tbs
National Press club--the debate, not
the whiskers-was too much fol
Champ Clark, speaker of the house, the
referee, to decide.
He heard Mick" I.ongworth and
"Fiddling Bob" Taylor, Of Tennessee
defend the polished dome of thought
and listened to the zephyrs that sang
, through these fine punches of spin
ach" cultivated by former Senator Tom
Cannon Of Danville, on the Big YER
million, and then referred the contro-
versy to the house committee on ways
and MEANS which is already having
it's troubles over wool.
This was the question:: Resolved,
That whiskers are greater detriment
to a man than bald head
Clark Takes no Chances.
Scott c. Boone was originally down
for referee, but he side-stepped the
responsibility for a decision by putting
1T on Champ Clark. Mr.. Clark is re-
ceptiye candidate for the presidency
and wasn't going to run any risk Of
alternating the former populistic vote Of
the west on the one hand or the safety
razor brigade on the other.
DR.. Wiley, the anti-germ shark Of
the United States department Of agri-
culture, was timekeeper. Neither Mr..
Clark nor DR.. Wiley wears beard and
neither is baldheaded, although the
doctor has started to qualify.
There was a large crowd out to hear
the argument and in the absence of
decision the general sentiment was,
regardless of the question of detriment,
while Whiskers were mans own fault.
Lonsworth Opens Fire.
In opening for the bald head side,
Representative Longworth said:
Il am not willing to assume that
badness is In any sense handicap
either in public or private life. Every
one of us upon his birthday was given
~" hoice between having hair and
brains.
AN willing to admit that centuries
ago the prevalence of whiskeritis was
excusable. The beard in those days, my
friends, was an object Of dignity; it
was an evidence Of good faith. claim
that whiskers are unsanitary and may
be receptacle for germs and other
herbivorae."
mo man in this world ever volun-
",
Senator Carter, leading for the, mega
tive side. "A bald head is an affliction,
it is trace Of disease; 1t is stand
ing Joke; it is physical infirmity and
has been so for long, long time.
You will recall that in the days Of
antiquity, as related in the book ac-
cepted as the universal authority, how
was walking by very peacefully when
the boys jeered and said Go up, bald
head
Then, as now, the bald-headed man
displayed that Ill temper which has
been exhibited in your presence to-
night, for he cursed and swore at the
innocent children and made vile use Of
his divine power by calling out the
She bears from the wilderness to de-
your forty-two Of the offending VIC
Tins.
"The beard is q badge Of manhood.
The bearded man can always be relied
upon. In this day, when talking of uni
versal peace, 1t Is we'll to consider the
Importance Of the beard. The first man
to cut off boards was Alexander the
Great It was the brutal instinct Of war
that led him to cut OF the beard; Alex
ander wanted the warriors to cut their
boards 80 their antagonists could not
seize them by their whiskers in mortal
combat.
Il might quote from the Holy writ
from now until tomorrow morning, and
| could only reach this one conclusion,
that wherever there was lamentation
and sorrow and distress mems heads |
were shorn to make them bald as an
evidence Of suffering and pen1tence.
The bald head goes to prison with
out previous preparation. The subject
Is already prepared for the work.
in sacred or profane history, |
all human experience, from
high station down to place in the |
front row in the theater, the bald |
headed man has been the butt Of jokes !
from the beginning to the end"
Taylor Born Bald.
away up among the mountains of
Tennessee. where the bald peaks point |
upward toward the sky, and where the |
bald eagles circle around them, forever |
teaching the lesson Of liberty" said |
Senator Taylor in closing for the bald
heads, only few short summers ago
[ was born bald-headed.
"My father before me was extremely !
oald. When I opened my eyes and |
looked upon his FURNISHED dome I i'm
agined the whole world was baldhead-
ID, and then when my mother pressed
her soft cheek and chin to mine I did
lot dream that there were In all this
earth such things as whiskers.
Ever since I lost my hair I have
always had a horror of hair and a
contempt for whiskers; I have always /
admired bald-heads, because they are
he symbols Of purity and innocence.