davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
PUTTING 1T UP TO CENTRAL
All Caller Wanted Was Mrs. Smiths
Number, and Surely That Was
Easy to Get.

"Halloa, there, central! Is this cen
trail? 1t is? l thought it was, but l
couldn't quite be sure. The other day
l supposed l was talking to central,
and here it was only my grocer. l do
think there are some queer m1X-ups
in this telephone service. What l
want now is to find out the telephone
number of Mrs John Smith-S-m-i-t-h
Smith. / find that there are more
than 100 persons of that name in the
book, and | don't know which one is
the husband of the lady l want. She
is a large lady with ford face and
prematurely white hair, and | think
her husband is travelling man, and
a brother-in-law of hers, named Jones,
lives somewhere on M street-a stout
ish, elderly gentleman with side whis-
kers. Kindly let me have Mrs. Smiths
number at once. l had it on a slip
of paper that | can't find. Seems to
me it was two-four-sixteen ring three,
or none-two-sixty-four ring two. You
know how confusing telephone num-
bers are. Let me have Mrs. Smiths
number right away, please"
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
Oeqenerated.
TVS osnrAvs so.sAsv. srv voRs ont.

Kid Mccoy, the hero of 125 battles.
is to open a sanitarium at Stamford.
He said the other day to a New Yort
reporter:
Il hope in my sanitarium to restore
lots of grumpy middle-aged people to
perfect health, and if l give them
back perfect health I'll give them
back youth and gayety and romance.
If middle age is stupid, if middle age
is prosaic, it is only because the
health of middle age is poor
THE woman" he continued, who
sends her grumpy mate to my estab-
lishment will no longer have to make
the bitter complaint of Mrs. Blank.
My husband, Is years ago. said
Mrs. Blank, used to kiss me every
time was passed through a tunnel
But now
"She gave a bitter laugh.
"'Now,' she said, he takes a long
pull at his travelling flask"
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
SOUND SLEEP
Can Easily Be Secured.

up to years ago." a woman writes,
Il was in the habit of using both tea
and coffee regularly.
Il found that my health was begin
ming to fail, strange nervous attacks
would come suddenly upon me, making
me tremble so excessively that / could
not do my work while they lasted; my
sleep left me and l passed long nights
in restless discomfort. l was filled
with nervous dread as to the future.
"A friend suggested that possibly
tea and coffee were to blame, and
decided to give them up, and in cast
ing about for a hot table beverage,
which | felt was an absolute necessity,
/ was led by good fortune to try Post
um.
For more than year l have used
1t three times a day and expect, so
much good has 1t done me, to con-
tinue its use during the rest Of my
life.
Soon after beginning the use of
Postum, l found, to my surprise, that,
instead of tossing on a sleepless bed
through the long, dreary night, |
dropped into sound, dreamless sleep
the moment my head touched the pill
low.
Then l suddenly realized that all
my nervousness had left me, and my
appetite, which had fallen off before,
had all at once been restored so that
ate my food with a keen relish.
''All the nervous dread has gone. l
walk mile and half each way to
my work every day and enjoy it. l
find an interest in everything that
goes on about me that makes life a
pleasure. All this l owe to leaving off
tea and coffee and the use of Postum,
for have taken no medicine" Name
given by Postum Co., Battle Creek,
Mich.
There's a reason" and it is ex-
planned in the little book, "The Road
to Wellville," in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full of human
interest.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
The Simple Life.

Anna Maria Wilhelmina Pickering,
in her Memoirs" edited by her son,
tells Yorkshire incident which con-
tains great deal of human nature.
Variety spices life; the plain is monot-
onous, until it's extent entities it to
the name of prairie or desert, and it
gains interest through vastness.
There was an old couple in the vii
lage whom l used often to go to see.
One day, when l found them sitting.
one on each side of the fire, the old
man said to me:
well, t missis and me, we've been
married nigh on so years, and we've
never had one quarrel"
The old woman looked at me, with a
twinkle in her eye, and said:
ut war verie conscientious, but
varie dool."-Youth's Companion.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
Lawn Economics.

81 note" says the sage, that you al
low sprinkler to spray water upon
your lawn almost continuously"
"Yes," said the native. I'VE do that
to make the grass grow"
"But the other day / saw a man
pushing clicker contrivance over the
lawn and"
ooh, yes; that was lawn mower?"
"And what is its purpose?"
"Why, it cuts the grass"
"Then why do you put water on it
to make it grow if you simply cut it
down as fast as it cLmes up?"-Judge
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

kidney secretions. After using all
kinds of medicine, without relief, be-
gan taking Doans Kidney Pills and
received perfect cure. I have had
no trace Of kidney trouble since"
when Your Back is Lame, Remem-
Der the Name-DOAN'S."
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price soc.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
Keeping Busy.

We are told that at New York's CON-
ing municipal budget exhibit bells will
be rung and lights flashed to show a
birth every four minutes, death ev-
cry eleven minutes.
Just what sort of demonstration is
made every time a cafe bottle pops, or
a bellboy is tipped. we are not told.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

James w. Clay, 666
w. Fayette ST., Balti-
more, Md, says: II
suffered almost con-
stantly from pains in
my back and head
and was laid up for
a week at a time.
I could scarcely walk
and experienced add
ed annoyance from ir-
regular passages Of
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
A Rate Maker.

you say you charge extra for sum-
mer boarders who are trying to reduce
their weight"
YES" replied Farmer Corntossel.
81 have to. They always develop the
biggest appetites"
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
Determined.

Gillet-What did you pay that
world famous specialist $50 for il you
felt perfectly we'll?
Perry wanted to know how he
pronounced appendicitis.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
Doing Ellis
a Favor

Conrad, threading his way across
the steamboat dock Uttered with
boxes and trunks and trucks and peo-
pie, saw Ellis at a distance and head
ed his way
Ellis was a man that it paid to cul-
tivate. Conrad was glad they were
crossing the lake on the same boat,
for there was the chance of smoke
and chat together.
Great jam tonight, isn't there?'
Conrad remarked after greeting Ellis.
The man with whom Ellis had been
talking when Conrad came up laugh
ed at this There sure is,'' he re-
marked. Il can't get berth, let
alone stateroom! Guess I'll have to
sit up all night"
Conrad eagerly grasped this chance
to do a favor for friend of Ellis.
You can have a berth in my state
room," he said, cordially. I'm alone
in it,
Later on Conrad sought his room.
Somehow he had lost Ellis after the
boat started. He had patiently pa
trolled the decks without finding him,
and was consequently disgruntled. FL
lis had not even seemed decently
pleased at the kindness to his friend.
The stateroom door was locked.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

good for man. 1t keeps him from
brooding over his neighbors success.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

Save the baby from the ravages of Group. whoopins
cough or Pneumonia, with Hoxsie'S Group
Remedy. Guaranteed by A. p. uoxsie. 81 cents
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

Mrs. Wfnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething softens the gums, reduces infamm
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, 25c q bottle
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

Pessimism is method of proclaim
ing personal failure to conform to the
fundamental facts of life
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
HAVE YOU SUSPECTED YOUR
KIDNEYS?

Thousands suffer from backa =,
headache, dizziness, and wearines
without suspecting their kidneys.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

Some neighbors don't like it unless
you talk about them.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

AS he disembarked Conrad Met Ell
lis, who was looking fresh, rested and
vigorous Conrad longed to smite
him.
Here" he growled at Ellis. "You
let me in for an awful night with that
friend of yours I've had hardly a
wink of sleep and have nearly had
heart failure besides. What's the mat
ter with him, anyway"
I'm sure | don't know" said Ell
lis, genially. Il never saw him be-
fore last night. He had just stopped
to ask me for light when you came
along and took him in like a brother!'
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

Infammatory Rheumatism may make
you cripple for life. Don't wait for
inflammation to set in. When the first
slight pains appear, drive the poison out
with Hamlins Wizard Oil.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

But many college graduate avoid!
the disgrace of dying rich.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
The Moderation of JaeI.

Jael justified herself.
81 only used the nail on my hus-
band" she cried. II didn't go around
with hairpin spiking Tom, Dick and
Harry"
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06
Specifications

81 believe in a man of deeds, not
words
$50 do |, if they're title deeds"
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

Grace (as clock strikes 12)-Gra-
cious! Twelve o'clock. How the hours
have flown.
Tom-Yes; and your father has
helped 'em some, too. I've heard him
tinkering with the clock in the library
for the last ten minutes.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1911-10-06

pleased at the kindness to his friend.
The stateroom door was locked.
Conrad raped. There was no an
swer. He raped louder He repeat
ed it.
The man in the next stateroom flung
open his door GROSSLY and asked Con-
rad to stop trying to knock in a side
of the boat. He said he had press
ing business in port, and if Con-
rad sunk the vessel and he had to
swim in he would be late for his APP
pointment.
Thereupon Conrad kicked the door
of his stateroom. 1t was opened six
inches and sleepy and blinking face
peered forth. Conrad showed himself
inside.
Who are your" demanded the blink
ing man.
Here, wake up!' replied Conrad,
disgustedly. This is my stateroom,
and Pm going to bed. Don't you re-
member that | offered to share with
you?"
OH" said the blinking man, CON-
prehendingly, sitting down. Then he
rolled over and went to sleep again.
Suddenly Conrad gave howl
What have you got in here?" he
asked
The sleepy man sat up and regard
ed the floor on which Conrad was
dancing. oh" he said, and seemed
amused. They've got out, haven't
they? | must have kicked a hole in
the paper covering! There's a hun
dred of those crabs."
Then there are just hundred too
many" Conrad announced as he made
a leap for life.
You see," said the other passen-
ger, sociably, "Tm going over to visit
a friend, and he's daffy about eating
little fresh water crabs He asked
me to bring him some. | put 'em
in a basket"
We'll, put 'em back" Conrad or
dered, ferociously.
Crouched on the edge of the berth,
he watched the other man try to cor
raj those agile crabs. He chuckled
and shooed and coaxed and dived
headlong and at last had most of them
back in their basket. Then he prompt
ly went to sleep once more
Vastly irritated, Conrad retired. He
awoke later to find himself being
violently shaken ~ two strong hands
Don't you see it? Don't you see
it?' shouted voice. Can't you
stop it?'
Are those crabs loose again?" Con-
rad cried in horror. making spring
for the electric light switch.
mo, no." moaned the voice. That
automobile! It's toppling over and
they'll all be killed.
Conrad shook the sleep walker vic,
lently. Where am II" the man asked
when he came to.
You'll be overheard in the lake if
you repeat that performances" Con-
rad told him. Il want to get a lit
tie Sleep
In an hour yell once more sent
Conrad to his feet. 1t seemed that a
crab which they had missed in the
roundup had ascended blanket to
owners ear. No one could reasonably
objected to mans yelling under these
circumstances, so Conrad merely de-
tached the crab, threw it out of the
window and tried again to sleep, but
by that time the boat had reached
shore. Sleepy and angry, he start
ed to dress. The other man was slum-
bering as sweetly as a baby. He
woke up, though, when Conrad tried
to put on his shoes, because the
shoes had crabs in them.
AS he disembarked Conrad Met El-
lis, who was looking fresh, rested and
vigorous. Conrad longed to smite
him.
Here" he erOwled at Ellis "yo,,
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1911-01-28
Silver Wedding.

In st. Michaers Church Tuesday morn
ing, January 26, 1856, by Rev. V. f. SchmItt,
Mr.. John Chambers and Miss Mary Me
Allster, of tins place Frank Spates and
Miss Lizzie McA lister the latter a sister OF
the bride. attended the happy pair. We'd
nesiay evening the residence of the groom
was thronged with congratuating friends.
Merrlment, gayety, fun and the good things
of life gaiore ruled the hours until morn
deCked the oriental sky with rosy fingers.
Thursday evening the Arion Band rendered
serenade and were handsomely enter
taned.-M1NING JOURNAL, January 30, 1856.
The 25th annual recurrence of this
happy event fell on Thursday this week,
and a goodly number of relatives and
friends accepted invitations to help Mr..
and Mrs. Chambers observe it at their
residence, u Uhl street
Congratulations We're profusely ten
dered and numerous silver tokens made
manifest the esteem in which the couple
is held.
One incident worthy of mention was
the reading Of letter from Rev V. +.
Schmitt, Washington, ID. c., who Of
ticiated at the wedding. After wishing
Mr. and Mrs. Chambers continued pros
perity and happy life until the Golden
Jubilee" he wrote
If | remember Alright, you CMr Chambers
once commanded canal boat and carried
coal from Cumberland to market. If
owned silver mine would send you a
boat-load of silver corresponding in tonnage
with those you used to bring here.
But as | am not a producer of earthen
treasures, | transmit my most sincere con-
gratulations and heartfelt wishes for life
yet long and happy, and these be better than
silver, gold, or precious stones
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1911-01-28
Coming Events

The girl lives on Centre street; the
young man not far away. In fact, he
Is seen so often going to see her that the
neighbors are predicting wedding
sure
a social under auspices of the Par
ish Aid Society of St. Johns Episcopal
Church will be held next Thursday even
ing at residence of Mrs. G. M. Hoye,
BOwery street, extended.
The Ladies' Guild of st. Paul's Luth-
eran Church will hold their annual mid
winter social in the lecture-room of
the church Thursday evening, February
I'd. A musical aud literary program
will be rendt red. Aprons and dust
less busters" will be offered for sale;
cake, ice-cream and coffee will be avail
able, and a small admission fee will be
charged.
The reported b. & o. r. proposition
to build the new tunnel under the pres
ent Sand Patch puncture doesn't augur
well for the short line from Pinto, ria
Frosthurg, to Confluence.
Calanthe Temple, No. 3, Pythian Sis
tiers, will serve a supper in Nickel's Hall
Friday evening, February II, 1911, from
to 10 p. m. for benefit of the Temple.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1911-01-28
IsrpyItipS.

Every duty we'll done makes the next
duty easier to do.
A surveyor complained the other day
that cup of coffee is as high at Poca
hontas, Pa, as on Pixies Peak-l5 cents,
or about cent ii thousand feet of alti-
tude. Hence, he believes that as POca-
hontas is only about 1000 feet up, that
ID cents is over I times too much cost of
high living. He believes, moreover
that he could have Jared better at the
democratic banquet in Baltimore
a Garrett county fat woman got so
t1eshy that she lost her waist line entire
ly, but she got it back again by walking
) miles day. Another reason why that
miles of National Pike should be re-
built.
In many matters think twice before
you speak. Then talk to yourself
Three boys held for court for robbing
Engle's meat store, 66 East Union street
No, dear Fratrr, Rev. G. H. Cannon,
formerly of this place, is minister, and
honors the cloth. The man, however,
who mistook the Speaker of the House
of Representatives for preacher must
be hard of hearing
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1911-01-28

AT his home in Borden Shaft Satur.
day, January 81, 1911, Mr.. Henry Mar.
tin Bpttner, aged 81 years. Mr. Bntt-
ner had been a long time sufferer from
an intestinal disease. He was native
of Germany. of long residence in this
country. however. Wife, one daughter
and two sons survive. Under auspices
of the knights of Pythias and Odd Eel
lows the funeral took place Tuesday,
with interment in Allegany cemetery.
AT his home, No. 20, Beall street,
Thursday evening, January 49, 1911, Mr..
Lawrence Miller, aged 50 years. He
had been long time i'll vii asthma, the
immediate cause of death. A native of
Germany, he came to this country in
1878, locating in this place Here he
reared family of one daughter Miss
Mary, and four sons -Messrs. John A. ,
Joseph NJ, Frank H. and Lawrence j.
Miller, all residing in this place, near
and with their mother-Mrs. Mary
Miller. He was a quiet, unobtrusive,
good citizen, and one whose latter-day
affection excited much sympathy Fun
eral Monday in st. Michael church.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1911-01-28
Humorist from GrantsyiIIe.

Jesse Slick, of Grantsville, and an ex.
chaplain of several extinct Grand Army
posts, was here Wednesday with two
horse cargo of dressed hog "Pork
however, is not my speciality, and l in
wife the JOURNAL to come up and we
will go fishing"
"How far from Grantsville ?" asked
the paper that is Internationally indie,
pendent.
about half mile" he replied, and,
continuing, he told of fish he had
caught the other day, weighing AS
pounds, but it got away :"
How do you know how much it
weighed if it got away ?" asked the pa
per that is not only Internationally in
dependent but inconcussibly great.
why, it had the scales on its back ~
The JOURNAL reached for a 300 pound
marble slab to slap Jesse, but before it
could be gotten into position he had al
ready reached the terminus of the Belt
Line, homeward bound.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1911-01-28
GrahaIntOn.

Owen Crump is slowly improving
from bad injury to one of his legs sew
eral months ago.
George Lucas, tiSh-dealer, and Daniel
Powell, caterer, east Union street, visited
mutual friends at Wright's Crossing
Monday evening.
Alfred Hawkins, laid up last week
with lumbago, returned to work Monday
The news comes down here that p. T.
McGann, of Grant street, attended the
democratic banquet in Baltimore last
week at $40 per, and has not been feeling
well since. Some of his many best
friends fear that high living is more
than he can stand for regular thing
Or. S.-RObert Simpson, bailiff and de-
tectlve, ascertained from somebody that
Cumberland democrat who had eaten
slice of Smithtield ham and wanted
more, was told fatty that he had already
consumed dollar, $lla, or two dollars
wOrth.)
The mayor of Grahamton was in
Frostburg last week, played pool with a
tenant of John B. Shannon shoe store,
and got beaten.
John G. Harris, who had two fingers
crushed in No. I, Consolidation Coal
Company, is still on the retired list.
Thomas Gunter, son of Mr.. and Mrs.
X. Gunter, received blow in one eve
while at work i'll Hoffman mine last
week which Is still very painful.
One night last week someone in need
of flour Went to the warehouse of Owen
Crump and helped himself to two sacks
Jacob Miller, son of Mr. and Mrs
Scott Miller. underwent an operation
for appendicitis in Western MARYLAND
Hospital last Saturday and is recovering.
David Greening is recovering rapidly
the use of an arm and leg broken sew
eral weeks ago.
Robert Simpson bailitf, carrying fresh
eggs to Frostburg Tuesday, had to stop
several times to rest" his left arm.
Meanwhile, William Dodds, the Ora.
hamtOn merchant, was much fatigued
In hunting and finding II eggs from 10
hens same morning.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. A Saurbaugh at.
tended the funeral of Henry NJ. Boettner
at Shaft Tuesday.
Walter Yates, "off duty" last week
nursing bad cold, resumed work Mon
day.
Miss Lizzie Kelso, of Frostburg,
visited Mr.. and Mrs. Robert Simpson
last Sunday.
Joseph Davis killed a fine porker
Monday.
A pleasant surprise was rendered Mrs.
Richard Hawkins, sr., Wednesday even
ing, her Goth birth, day. Those visiting
her We're Mrs George Savage, Mrs.
Owen Crump. Mrs. Robert Simpson,
Mrs. Isaac Yates, Mrs. James Morris,
Mrs. Benjamin Hoff, Mr. and Mrs. Albin
Hawkins, Misses Reah Morris, Bess
Cook, Mary Gunter, Orgie and Blanche
Hawkins.
William Platon had three ribs broken
In No. Z, Consolidation Coal Company,
Wednesday by fall of coal
John Wright, son of Mr.. and Mrs.
Henry Wright, employed in Cumber-
land, is at his home here for few days.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1911-01-28

James Mccain, of Washington, d. c.,
relative of the Frostburg family of
that name, i'll since November Sth, is
recovering.
Mrs. James Close, Wood street, is a
patient under surgical treatment in
Western Maryland Hospital.
George Biddington, Wood street, is
"laid up with "A very bad cold.
Latest report from Charles f. Wagus.
in Baltimore hospital, indicates that
he is improving slowly. He is son of
Mr.. and Mrs. John Wagus, of this place.
John Pfeitfer, an old an esteemed citi-
zen, residing on Grant street. is re-
ported i'll.
Mrs. Isaiah Orion, residing on Welsh
Hill, is reported seriously i'll.
Mrs. Isaac kear, of Wright's Crossing,
is ILL.,
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1911-01-28
business Movements

j. G.. MerrbaCh recently sold his ice
cream equipment to c. f.. Gerwig. The
latter, already a baker and confectioner,
now has an ice-cream department all
at No. BOB East Union street. Mr..
Merrbach says he is resting for awhile
before resuming business of any kind"
but it is pretty certain that Merrbach,
always an active man, is gong to get
tired of resting before long.
John Morris entered the Duffy cdfr,
corner Mechanic street and Broadway
and is filling the bill, whether it be of
fare or beverage.
Dr. w. l.. VanOrmer, of Schellsburg,
Pa, well-known here, has recently pur-
chased a fine Kentucky horse-one of
the best equine types of bluegrass
evolution.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1911-01-28
Another immense outburst.
Scholastic.

Miss Enla Arnold, daughter of Mrs.
j. w. Arnold, Loo street and Broadway,
left Tuesday to take a course in the
Baltimore Business College.
Earl Lewis, member of the class Of
1910, Beall High School, now student
at st. Johns College, Annapolis, is
visiting his home here Mr.. Lewis has
made a scholastic record so complete thus
far at st. Johns that the faculty eX-
cused him from the mid-year exami-
nations, now i'll progress at the college.
A strong minority of the Beall High
School faculty are of duty this week
on account Of illness-Miss Alpha Gar
rett, undergoing treatment for throat
trouble in Il Baltimore hospital; Mrs
Alice kearSing, Misses Anne E. Nc
Alhster, Nellie Hohing, Nell Stewart
and Grace II. Dando with colds that are
bad