davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10
At THE GATE.

81. Peter ouizzes American Wife snd
Gives Her Something to Do.
"AIEXTF called St Peter.
IN A tall. comely woman arose
from the bench and came for
ward graciously. She was dressed
rather for style than for comfort Her
clothes rustled vulgarly. and her hair
was manlfestly different from what
God intended II TO be.
Name, pleaseT" IA d.
II am the American wife" y =
"Are you suref"
Here is my marriage certificate"
81 mean are you sure you have been
a wifeT
'As to that, r.
what do you understand the quail
fcations Of wife to bef"
ITO take charge OF the household
and
"And do as little as possible in it.
ehY'
But you could not expect me to do
the heavy work. could your
"You expected other women to do
the heavy work"
"servantsl They are a different
class"
"And you were peeyish when they
didn't do 1t just So"
But
And you were always complaining
that things weren't going right"
LET me-
"And when your husband came home
at night be had TO hear all your little
ailments. physical. mental, domestic
and social"
But don't you
Your idea all the time being to d.
vorce yourself
"Not DIVORCE
"From real usefulness OF all kinds
In order that you might engage In the
most trifing occupations"
Don't you think woman should
have some pleasure In life"
Sitting around the bridge table or
at the matinee and eating rich food
until you got fat and then haunting
beauty doctors until you got thin
wasn't that your highest ideal of pleas
ureT
Il went to clubs and to church"
ITO show your clothes"
~ had children"
"But you found 1t a terrible nuisance
to take care OF them"
II could afford to hire nurses and
governesses"
But you couldn't afford to give
them any of your own very valuable
time"
But my husband didn't want me to
work myself to death"
mo. OF course not 1t is no better
to work yourself to death than to loaf
yourself to death. But. after all, your
husband has nothing TO do with it.
Wen deal with him separately. You
had your own life TO live. His being
foolish doesn't excuse you"
The American wife burst into tears
as she saw her chance Of heaven fad
ing away.
Here. none of that" commanded st.
Peter "Tears have no effect on u.s."
Then he turned to his clerk "Clerk,
give this lady glngham apron and
set her to work peellng potatoes and
other odd Jobs Let me see her again
In about six months. Ellis 0. Jones
In Life
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10
Advertised Letter List.

August Z, 1911.
Allen, Mrs. Emma; Baptie, Miss II.
May; Bernard, Mrs. Sylvana; Bent,
Mrs. Frank; Kohler, Miss Minnin /:
McKhon, Mrs. F. F. Ross, Mrs. Grace
Watt; Smith, Mrs. Carrie Z. :; Smith,
Miss Ollie; Stame, Miss Annie !;
Thomas, Mrs. H.. Barber, w. H. +;
Cation, f. R.; Cotton, James; Foy,
Edward ;Gibben, M. R.: Harvell.
Edwin E. Helms, A. c.; Howell, E.
W. johnson, Carl; Kent. Mr.. and MIS-.
Chas. Lee, Earl; Mark, Frederick /;
Mills, George: Nielsen, L. p; Rust,
H.sC.; Shank, A. H. +; Sheppard, Will !;
Smith, Mr.. o.. Stevens. Orlo; Stone,
r. L.; Terveset, Parhaat; Webster,
W. A. Wheaton, Frank Wood, Harry
G. Jay 7. Lucas, Post Master.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10

II suppose, Jennie, you wouldn't
want TO go to the concert Wednesday
in your old hatT
"You dear thingl | couldn't possi-
bly, think OF showing myself In it."
"Thats what thought, SO p
"WhatT
Bought only one ticket to the con-
cert. ."-Meggendorfer Batter
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10
Sewing Machines.

Singer and Wheeler & Wilson STYLES
Prices and terms to suit everyone. Re-
pairing and attachments for all kinds of
machines. Office with Onthank 4 OF
ten. A. Ii. Stone, agent Singer Co..
Hood River. If
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10

What we want" said the agitator,
sis TO get away from the tyranny of
money"
That's right" replied the ball play
err And 1t ought to start with a rule
against fines by the umpire. Wash
ingtOn Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10
Call for Bids.

The board of directors of the Pine
Grove school district No. Z, desire
sealed bids for the painting of the school
building and tinting the walls of the
school rooms, said building containing
about 400 yards of coats exterior work,
and 2 coat trimming. The board re-
serves the right to reject any or all
bids. For specifications see G. K Ben
ton, clerk. ii
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10

''Does your wife do the cooking ON
the day the maid goes out2"
"Oh, yes"
How does that suit your"
at doesn't bother me any. always
get a good meal just before | 20
home. ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10
Both Wanted.

"Ha| shouted the rich man, peer
ing cautiously over the stairway. II
want your
Well" chuckled the burglar. reach
Ing for the silver. I'm at your serv-
Ice, columbian Jester.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10
And rh.x Turned Him Down.

I'm afraid l can't give you any
work. We're hiring about all the men
we can use here now"
81 know. sir. but you'd never notice
the difference In the little amount I'd
do."-Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10

Do not forget that Sherwin- Williams
Arsenate of Lead will not create black
spots on your apples, For sale by Me
Donald
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10
Not His.

do you obey the Bible injunction
to love your neighbor2"
II tried to. but she wouldn't let me. !"
Houston Post.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10

There Is new world out in space
Just being made OF starry stun.
Why should this fret the human racer
The one We have is good enough.
Washington Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10
A Motto For Your Wall.

In idleness many discourage
ments lurk. The very best way
! TO kill time is to work.-Life.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10
As TO Honesty.

: The man who would not trust
. anybody else gives himself a
poor recommendatlOn.-Chlcago
Record Herald.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-08-10
A Road TO Discovery.

If there wasn't any such thing
as running for office some people .
would never know how unpopu-
lar they are. .-Atchlson Globe,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

many is thoroughly loyal Even a
short stay there is sufficient for per-
ceiving this.
There is eager Willingness to blame
or make fun Of this or that act OF the
kaiser. Criticism gets bitter; hostile
newspapers like to arouse adverse pub
lie opinion But in the great mass of
the people devotion to the emperor re-
mains impregnable. and in case of peril
IL would manifest itself in a blaze of
zeal that would strike US dumb with
amazement
That Is what France must thor
oUghly understand. The worst mistake
is TO be fooled regarding an adver-
sarys strength"
So much for the F'rsnchrnan's esti-
mate.
Now comes the opinion of that ia
nous English divine. Dr. John H.
Jowett. whom America has brought
over 70 take charge Of the Fifth
Avenue Presbyterian church in New
York
He went back to London to see the
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

grardizenent? What is his purpose
concerning Alsace-Lorraine?"
Twenty three Years and No Fighting.
To the first Arren answers that the
kaiser is essentially a man of peace.
For the twenty three years William
has been on the throne" he writes.
this monarch has been looked upon
as one tthrsting for wars. yet what
wars has he caused?"
To the second he gives this quota
ton from a speech Of the emperor:
"One Of the great merits of my an
cestors is that they never belonged to
a party. that they always kept above
all parties, that they succeeded in
making all parties work together for
the good Of all their subjects and the
good OF all the world"
For the third the author says the
views Of the kaiser are 81 nrned up In
this:
ITO hand AIsace- Lorraine back to
France Is out OF the question II there
Is to be a reconciliation 81 must be on
the basis OF the status quo with the
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

coronation at King Georges personal
request, and as part OF hts impressions
had this to say:
LAT the coronation the man who
caught my special attention as being
vital and alive and really receptive
was the crown prince of Germany.
Like Father, Like Son.
AT King Edwards funeral was i'm
pressed especially by the German en-
peror, and now at King Georges coro-
nation it was by his son. The crown
prince asked many questions OF a SOL
der who stood near him, and they
come to be on very close terms. The
manner of the future emperor showed
that ne was open to information from
every point of the compass"
And the kaiser has succeeded recent
" in arousing the attention Of "all the
world that loves lover"
He declared that matchmaking plans
OF state were not for his only daugh-
ter, the Princess Victoria Louise. She
shall marry only the man she loves"
he said with his accustomed earnest
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

ideas Of George Westinghouse. II IL
true we OF later years know Edison best
Of all, but II patents went by quantity
there are many inventors still seeking
fame outside their native hamiets who
have fled more applications than the
wizard OF Menlo Park" ever dreamed
Of The great difference seems to be
that Eoison's patents work
Professor Morse made much money.
but he wouldn't II all subsequent tele-
graph business had been no brfsker
than f. shown by the first weeks earn
!ngs Of the little ONCE he opened In
Washington in April ls4S.
IN the first four days he made only
cent, the next day l2h cents. and the
next 50 cents. winding up In blaze Of
glory for the LAST day of Sl.sa.
Mr.. Westinghouse has reaped honors
and millions both; but. like Mr.. Edi-
son, he can't keep away from his ex-
pertinent shops and laboratories. His
leisure Is the leisure of every really
big man-hard woEi<-and he may yet
bring out something worth more to
mankind than even his wonderful
brake.
There is only one absolute way Of
telling a real from e near inventor. If
he is quiet voiced. dressed Ike a gen
tlen1sn and OF a retiring nature he Is q
real
II his voice is Ike the bull Of Bashzn.
his clothing either very loud or very
dirty and his appetite for the searcn-
light unquenchable he Is a near"
who shall say what the proud pos
sessor OF patePt no. I,0o0.609 viii tuFH
cut ts BET DAVID LINDSAY,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

ness. She shall be a happy wife and
mother first. The Queenhood will take
care OF itself"
Pictures Show q Ruler.
The pictures shown here OF the war
lord of Europe are chosen to show his
firmness and aggreSsiveness of coun-
tenance. And let 1t be understood that,
although he has been before the cam
era thousands of times. he does not
like the ordeal. Being photographed is
simply a matter Of duty. and the kali
ser Is nothing If not punctilious.
The pictures show that from his
nurse to his cabinet no one has ruled
him. He rules.
Perhaps as strong a hint as any to
his determination is shown in the way
he makes the best OF his derormed left
arm. which is much shorter than the
right and would to n person OF less
grit be severe handicap.
But by incessant training he uses 1t
in riding. eating and shooting so deft-
ly that the average spectator notices
nothing.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

As Whitnsy~s patent was issued In
1854 and FAliton's in 1865. they we're
among the wiped out ones SO far as
historical value is CONCERNED, but the
loss didn't hurt the cotton gin nor the
steamboat TO the slightest exfent
Patent once experts say that the
6rst big patents after the reorganiza-
ton were gwen To Colt for his rsvolV-
eF In 1sss and 20 Morse fer the teie-
graph In 1870.
Some Of the greatest since then have
been the rubber vuicanizinz plans Of
GaAEaAA ftaadEAkR eE6 tAs etE brake
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

However, there II q wrfnkled ross
leaf under his maJestys bed sheets- He
can't make his college students be-
they stiu absorb beer by the quart and
Gisfgure each others facea In mock
duels and insist upon their rights to
avoid soap and to make love.
Even though the katsers nfGh SON.
Prince Oscar. who Is at Bonn. sets an
example to his fellow students, the
young men simply avoid his company
and sing an irreverent song about him.
But the kaiser has plans for the fall
sessions of these colleges. It ia report
ed that will make the students behave
themselves, at least in public. just as
decently as plain. everyday. taxpayins
citizens.
And the kaisers plans usually work
out.
At Berlin on our great and glorious
Fourth the American colony celebrated
at the river suburb OF Gruenau with
baseball and other sports, a dinner and
dancing. Several hundred persons
were present
At Kiel the imperial yacht Hohen-
zollern and the German fleet in com
mon with the visiting American war
vessels were dressed with bunting in
honor of the day. The HohenzoIlern
and the German battleships new the
stars and stripes from the maintop.
The entire German and American fleets
fred a national salute of twenty-one
guns.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

Implication that what has been done
is done and must not be discussed.
His whole policy is based on this,
to avoid q war OF revenge without
yielding an inch on the Alsace-Lor-
ra1ne question
Whether he really understands our
mentality and the state of French feel
ing and whether his plan has any
chance Of success is another matter"
adds the Frenchman. But we must
take care. on the one hand. not to think
OF him as a man DESTROYS OF war with
France and, on the other hand. we
must be equally careful not to get the
idea that he stands ready to make
those concessions which we consider
absolutely necessary prelininaries to
reconciliation.
Germany Loves Him.
William II. is today the idol of Ger
many. We in France must not forget
that II wouldAbe a serious mistake to
think that, in case OF a crisis, Ger
many would not follow its emperor.
Perish the thought! At heart Ger
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

only thing one can wish is that ths
inventor reaps as many dollars as his
certificate number forecasts
The lack OF information on the Whit
ney and fulton numbers Is because Of
the FIRE that totally destroyed ths pat
snt once and every enc Of its docu-
neats and models IN 1855, The Office
had from tie time of It's orgsniza-
ton In 1880 issued s.ssT patents, but
the disaster was so complete that IL
simply lad 70 start Ia again with
rev sss CT books and stsFt fron Ne
aGA1E-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22
ALL READY FOR PATENT NO. 100000
WHAT KIND OF AN INVENTION WILL GET IT:

70 1911. ey American Press Association
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

to 1t that the McAuiey II only the fore
runner of a feet.
The crew consists Of Major Nils
EFikson. captain and evangelist Of the
division; Envoy Newly. frat officer,
Mrs. Major Erikson. purserI Ole Hal
vorsen. able seaman and the engineer
Major Erikson is a Norwegian. and
his wife Is an American who has been
g member Of the srTny since she was
q little girl and used to sing revival
songs while standing on the head Of
the big bass drum.
The jerry AeAuley f. painted white
and has tEo Feeay cabins. u has
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

- HE Salvation navy, the new
est branch of the world ia
nous Salvation Army, IS
n meeting with great welcome
on its first cruise along the Atlantic
coast TO bring spiritual aid to sailors,
fishermen and Iongshoremen.
The navy has only one ship at pres
ent, the thirty-five foot power boat
Jerry McAulsy. but II the experiment
proves the SUCCESS hoped for 1t Com
mander EVangeline c. Booth will see
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

speed of seven knots an. hour. devel-
oped by twenty horsepower engines.
Il is the purpose of her commander to
cruise along the Atlantic coast north
in summer and south IN winter, doing
missionary work among the seamen of
the ports. 1t is the first boat Of the
Starvation Army in America, though
there are two or three In Scandinavia
Before leaving Perth Amboy. It's first
calling port. the sailor-preacher crew
had added five converts to the Saliva
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22
Salvation Army Finds It Needs
a Navy and Sends Off First Boat,
The Jerry McAuley, to Fight Satan

More than 5000 persons gathered at
the New York Battery to bid the smart
looking little craft godspeed on her
way 10 Perth Amboy. and Miss Booth
reminded her hearers in her speech OF
acceptance that IL was only few feet
away that the 1rst Salvation Army
group landed in America thirty-one
years ago.
We haven't lived very long" she
said. but long enough TO witness the
entry OF the army into almost every
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

ton ranks and had received not the
slightest discourtssy at tho hands of
their toll roughened audiences.
The boat IL the gift Of Bradford Lee
Gilbert. and IL IL ramed In honor Of
the man whS onos gloried in the repu
tastoa - being the "touGhest man N
New YofkS bta Who later coBdGe<sd
IN ths metropolis.
In his presentation speech Afr. Gilbert
sptly said that McAuley had proved
himself the missing link between
what the church thought IL could do
and what Ged eould really Do"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

- CR good old United States OF
q America viii seal or Aug.
y its prestige as the greatest
49, producer Of mechanical
ideas when the patent once win issue
20 some genius. name now known only
10 Presfdeni Tax and Commissioner Of
Patents Moore. certificate No. J. oe0. 900.
whether the patent with the typical
American number on II VIII prove
more worthy than whltneys cotton
g. patent CT FS:ltoa's steamboat pat
ent. TIE numbers cf which are to-day
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22

important country and colony. dsalfnG
with almost every section Of the popu-
latIon. Why should We not also 90 70
the Iongshoremen and sailors along our
cost liner"
For the n9~G vera done In 6weds=
By Tia Saliva tionists they have re-
oefved tn ueanks Of the king. They
have pot the love Of God into the
hearts of thousands of friendlsss, help
less seaInen and the fear Of God into
the "cr4mps' and boarding house run
ners who lnfest seaport towns all over
the world.
ARTHUR J. RRnRTo1G.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-07-22
BIZ oEoReE WAUGH ARNoLp.

z TOT to be out Of the picture
AE during that event OF world
" wide interest, the coronation
Of his royal cousin. King
George W out pops. IN Paris. at the
psychological moment q book concern
ing Kaiser William ii. that win be read
and discussed in every capital
= II is by Jules Arren. who FIRST OF all
poohpoohs the idea that the kaiser is
q man OF mystery. He insists that no
ruler has been more frank IN proclaim
ing his program. RE admits that not
every item Of the outlined policy has
gone to a successful conclusion, but
holds that the greater part OF the en-
peror's thoroughly deHberated and
carefully watched plans show signs
not only OF ability. but OF genius
Arren tells his fellow countrymen
that in his book they will be able to
find the answer to three great ques-
tons. as follows:
rs William II. inclined toward
peace Has he dreams OF German ag-
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-10
c. & o. GENERAL MANAGER
AT THE WHITE SULPHUR

HUNTINGTON. W. VA. July Sc.
W. Grice. general manager. of the
Chesapeake d Ohio, left this morning
ON his private car. for White Sulphur
Springs. Mr.. Grice has been attend
ing tho hearing OF discrimination
charges made against the c. Il 9. by
Guyan Valley Coal shippers and heard
by a representative OF the Interstate
Commerce Commission.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-10

districts heretofore without public
schools. They win accommodate 1900
pupils.
ments. Bids will be opened in few
weeks for the erection of three more
schools which will accommodate 1900
pupils. All Of the six new schools. 1t
will be seen, win have desks for 400
children. The schools which will be
ready for occupancy in September next
are the Arents School. at China and
Pine Streets: the Chimborazo Annex
at Thirty-Fourth and Marshall Streets.
and the William +. Fox school at
Hanover and Sycamore Streets.
OF these the William +. Fox school
will be the most costly. the expense
OF erection being 100000. There will
be twenty class rooms In the building
with seats for 500 pupils in addition
to a beautiful and spacious auditorium
which will seat $50 persons. In this
building win be located the Richmond
Normal Training School, established in
May by the school board. Only full
graduates OF four-year high school
H-he admitted to tia normal school
Tor preparation for the work OF teach
ing. 1t Is Interesting TO note that Rich
mond is the first city south of Wash
ington,, ID. c.. to establish a normal
training school. a convincing proof OF
the progressiyencss which character
ICES the management of the education
al system OF this city.
Arents school will accommodate 100
pupils. This school is being built at
a cost of $40, 900. of which $4,000 In cash
was donated by Miss Grace Arents,
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1911-07-10

John g. coriey and w. ]. Kimbrough
fof the third district.
On the board proper the leading
spirit Is Charles Hutzler. chairman,
who is ably assisted by the vice.
chairman. f. C. Ebei When We look
for the real head Of the schools, the
man who is to the system what the
president is to a big corporation, we
una DIR. j. A. G. Chandler, super
intendent of public schools.
One might look long. far and wide,
for man more capable to fill the
position of superintendent than ur.
Chandler He seems built for the
work and goes at 1t with the enthu-
slasm of college youth In a cham
pionship contest. He leafs work" as
one OF his colleagues expressed it, and
Is also planning and looking far into
the future in his untiring efforts to
make Richmond's schools better, not
only now. but always better.
I'r. Chandler is surrounded by an
excellent staff OF assistants, including
a. II, Hill, assistant superinten dent:
C.. T.. Walfard. clerk and supervisor,
and X. j. Hoke. assistant superinten-
dent of South Richmond. There are
the thirteen men who learned the Sc
cret that dollar spent on the chill
dren is dollar well spent, indeed.
Learned in some of the larger cities
long ago. the secret comes TO Rich
mond belated, hut the men who learn
ed ii are making up for the time
lost.