davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09
Clutches or Biers.

Richard Croker, at dinner at New
York, expressed a distrust for aero
planes.
There's nothing underneath them"
he said. "If the least thing goes
wrong, down. they drop.
II said to Londoner the other day:
How is your son getting on since
he bought flying machine?'
ION crutches, like the rest of
them,' the Londoner replied"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiamma-
ton, allays pain. cures wind collie. 25c bottle.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

Keeping Oil Fire From Spreading.
Milk will quench fire caused by
an exploding lamp, water only spread
ing the oil.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

The recording angel may take more
interest in your day book than in
your hymn book.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

Tightness across the chest means cold
on the lungs That's the danger signal.
Cure that cold with Hamlins Wizard Oil
before it runs into Consumption or Pneu-
monia.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

You never catch up with man by
trying to get even with him.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

Your working power depends upon your
health Garfield Tea corrects disorders of
liver, kidneys, stomach and bowels.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take LAXATIVE BROMO Ouinine Tablets
Druggists refund money If it fails to cure. E. w.
GROVES signature is on each box. 25c.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

Taking Garfield Tea will prevent the re-
currence of sick-headache, Indigestion and
bilious attacks. All druggists
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

No harmful drugs in Garfield Tea, Ma
lures laxative-it is composed wholly of
clean, sweet, health-giving Herbs!
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

To correct disorders of the liver, take
Garfield Tea, the Herb Laxative
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

you are sure to create some social
wrongs.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

Preaching produces so little practice
because people look on it as a per
Torrance.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

He who cannot do kindness without
a brass band is not so scrupulous
about his other dealings.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

Garfield Tea cannot but commend itself
to those desiring a laxative, simple, pure,
mild, potent and health-giving.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

LADIES CAN WEAR SHOES
one size smaller after using Aliens Foot-E Ease,
the antiseptic powder to be shaken into the
shoes. 1t makes tight or new shoes feel easy.
Refuse subsfftnfes For Free trial package, ad-
dress Allen s. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09
ALL GAY

First Tramp-The doctor as order
ed me a bath.
Second Tramp-You do look pleas
ed about 1t.
First Tramp-'E's ordered me a
mud bath.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

bushels of wheat from one quarter
section of land John Mclean, who
owns two sections. threshed 1850
bushels of wheat.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

LIOuIfl0 III dill 1GS
Dire adful forms /;
shooting pains all
over my body, sick
headache, spin al
weakness, dizziness,
d epres 81 on, and
everything that was
horrid. / tried many
doctors in different
parts Of the United
States, but Lydia e.
Pinkham's Vegeta-
b1a COnn0J1nd h9Q
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

A good home is the best exposition
of heaven.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09
Important TO Mothers

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

One might fight a lie and still not
follow the truth.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09
The Rree

Stella-Is her coat Persian lamb?
Bella-No; Podunk mutton.-Judge.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

Difficulties are often the barnacles
that grow on delayed duties.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09
OTTUMWA
WOMAN
CURED
BY Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

Ottumwa, Iowa.-''For years was
almost constant sufferer from female
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

sTOCKMEN, DAIRYMEN-HERE'S BARGAIN-An improved
farm of $50 acres, miles west of Ellsworth County
seat of Pierce Co., Wisconsin. Only Is miles south
east of St. Paul. Has 11-room house; new barn 4Ox7O,
with full stone basement, graDary, chicken and hos
house and other farm buildings, all in good condi-
ton. 200 heavy black loan soil, balance pas
ture and meadow. Fine trout stream, through pas
AS above city has over 500 600 people, Prices range
from $50 to SIS per acre. but for immediate sale viii
time, easy terms. Write or come at once to secura
this Thos E. Slime. $685. jackson St.. ST. Paul, Mimi
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

Affections mark the difference be-
tween iron and steel
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09

done more for me than all the doctors.
4 feel it my duty to tell you these
facts. My heart is full of gratitude to
you for my cure."-Mrs. HARRIET e.
NAMPLER, ga S. Ransom Street,
Ottumwa, Iowa.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09
Consider This Advice.

No woman should submit to surgf-
cal operation, which may mean death,
until she has given Lydia E. Pinkham'S
Vegetable Compound a fair trial.
This famous medicine, made only
from roots and herbs, has for thirty
years proved to be the most valuable
tonic and invigorator of the female
organism. Women residing in almost
every city and town in the United
States bear willing testimony to the
wonderful virtue of Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound.
Mrs. Pinkham, at Lynn, Mass,
invites all sick women to write
her for advice. Her advice is free,
confidential, and always helpful.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1911-03-09
Buy a Florida Farm

In the famous Pensacola District. Five
acres bring independence for life. Soil
expert shows you how. Canning factory
acres in truck will net you $500 to $1,000
a year. Two railroads through this prop
erty. Good county roads. Prices will be
advanced soon. Write today.
PENSACOLA REALTY COMPANY, Pensacola. Fiorda
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07

A cat that lives at one of the police
stations in New York city went nosing
about in the basement and found a
nest full Of baby rats. She started in
to eat them. but the mother rat came
out of the dark and Jumped at the in
truder. There was a little fight. and
then the cat backed out. She went
upstairs and got another cat, and the
two went down to the basement 1t
needed more than two cats, though.
The rat beat off both her enemies and
followed them upstairs and out into the
street. Somebody set a dog into the
fight, but the dog got tired after he
had been bitten few times. and he
gave up the fight, like the cats. The
rat was victorious, but she had been
hurt so much in the battle that a po-
hceman shot her to put her out of
pain, and then the baby rats, of
course, had to be drowned.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
The Bluebird.

There is an old Indian legend that
the bluebird was a piece of the skV
which came down to live on earth.
1t surely looks as if this were true,
for his head, back, wings and tail
have the lovely blue color Of the
spring sky on a sunny day. Though
he is now really bird Of the earth.
the bluebird seems to enjoy getting
back as near the sky as he can, and
we often hear his call come floating
down when he is SO far above as to
be out of sight.
The bluebird is not entirely blue
Indeed. he is said to be the most pa
triotic Of birds. for his colors are red,
white and blue. With the blue above
and with a red breast and white un-
derneath, the little fellow surely
seems to be doing his best to display
our nations colors. The soft warble
Of the bluebird is one of the most de.
Ightful signs of spring.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
FOR THE CHlL.D.....::l,
Table Rules For Little Felix's.

In silence | must take ny seat
And give God thanks before ! eat,
Must for my food in patience wait
Till l am asked to hand my plate.
must not scold nor whine nor pout
Nor move my chair or plate about.
With knife or fork or anything
must not play, nor must sing.
must not speak a useless word,
For children should be seen, not heard.
/ must not talk about my food
Nor fret If don't think it good.
1 must not say, "The bread is old,
The tea is hot, the coffee's cold"
must not cry for this or that
Nor murmur II my meat is fat.
My mouth with food l must not crowd
Nor while I'm eating speak aloud,
Must turn my head to cough or sneeze
And when ask say, IF you please"
The tablecloth must not spoil
Nor with my food my fingers SOIL
Must keep my seat when have done
Nor round the table sport or run.
When told to rise then 1 must put
My chair away with nolseless foot
And lift my heart to God above
In praise for all his wondrous love.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
look His Nerve.

Took His Nerve.
"It's up to me to get a new gag.
told dat lady in de cottage dat 1 used
to travel wild a circus"
81 suppose she got off dat old chest
nut by giving yer an ak and asking
yer to do de split?'
"No; she had a new one. She gave
me saw and told me to saw up a
cord Of wood and den de -esh saw
dust would remind me of de circus
rings."-St. Louis Democrat.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
Glass Sandpaper.

"There is no sand in sandpaper,''
said the manufacturer "It is a pow.
dered glass that does the business
That's where the broken bottles 60.
He nodded toward a pile of broken
bottles in the yard. 1--WE powder the
glass into half a dozen different
grades" he said 1--WE coat our paper
with an even layer of hot glue. Then
without loss Of time, we spread over
the glass powder. Finally we run a
wooden roller lightly over the sheets
to give them good surface. When
in the past, sandpaper was made OF
sand it wouldn't do a quarter of the
work glass paper does"
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
About the Sloth.

A sloth will feed on the leaves, buds
and young shoots of a single tree
without once descending from the
branches. so long as food lasts, though
sometimes it will pass from one tree
to another If it can do so without 60
ing to the ground. Instead of walk.
ing on the branches it swings beneath
them with its back downward. It's
coarse, shaggy hair looks like grass
withered in the sun and gives 1t such
an appearance that 1t cannot be readi-
ly seen except when in motion.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
Poor DOG.

Poor Dog.
So often we call man a dog when
we wish to reproach him.
And yet dog
Doesn't lie,
Doesn't swear,
Doesn't cheat,
Doesn't drink,
Doesn't smoke,
Doesn't swindle,
Doesn't f1irt,
Doesn't borrow.
Doesn't pretend
And wouldn't even resent it If you
called it man.-Life.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
The Euidence.

"Say, Bunkerton, Tom Billups has
applied for position in our bank,
and I'm looking up his general record"
said Dobbleigh. "Can you tell me If
he-er-if he is man Of domestic
habits?"
"Why, yes, guess So" returned
Bunkerton-"that is, Judging from the
cigars he smokes his tastes are entire
ly that way."-Harpers Weekly.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
Conundrums.

Why is baby like wheat1 Be
cause it is first Graded, then lhrashed
and finally becomes the flower Of the
family.
What is that which is sometimes
with a head. without a head, with a
tail and without tail? A wig.
When are tailors and house agents
both in the same business? When
they gather the rents.
Why are the tallest people the lazi.
est? Because they are always longer
in bed than others.
What class of women are apt to
give tone TO society? The bellies
(bells).
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07

According to a recent college profes
sor, three French boys were studying
Hamlet" and their task was to ren,
der the soliloquy "To be or not to be-
from French into English.
This is what the professor read on
the three respective papers:
'"To was or not to am"
'"To were or is to not"
''To should or not to will"
Now you. my friends who study
French. can say to them at serves you
right"
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
A Much Needed Boon.

81 am working on an invention that
will, think, be the greatest boon
mankind could have"
"Will it reduce the cost of nving?"
"No, but it will make it impossible
for people in other parts of the house
to hear those in the boxes talking
while operate performances are going
on."-Chicago Record Herald.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
HUMOROUS QUIPS
The Man Who Kicks.

Philosophers may tell you that an ever
l1st.hg smile
Is better than a mixture, half and half
Of smiles and frowns used alternately
every little while
And that the world will love you II you
laugh.
But / have often noticed that the man
who's always kind
And smiles. no matter how hard he's
been hit.
Gets what the kickers wouldn't take and
you will always find
The man who kicks some gets the best
of it.
I've seen it in my daily walks through
life, and, while know
That frowns bring favors sometimes
when a smile
Would fail, 1 try to smile little every
where l go
And often miss the best things by a
mile.
I've seen 1t in the hotels as I waited for
my meals
That made all hands step lively and it's
so in other deals
The man who kicks some gets the best
of it,
The man who smiles continually and new.
er makes a kick
Will be imposed upon and often sold,
For merchants like to sell their goods and
always turn the trick
OF passing out what's damaged or is old
To one who does not raise a howl and
kick for something new,
Although the things they sell to him do
not fit
like the smiling method best but still I
know tits true
The man who kicks some gets the best
of 1t.
Charles II. Meters in Puck
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
The Civil War.

The dates officially recognized as the
beginning and the end Of the civil war
are Jan. 8, 1861, when the United
States steamship Star Of the West was
fired on by state troops in Charleston
harbor, and April 3. 1866. when the
president proclaimed the rebellion at
an end
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
A Fright.

'Yes," said Miss Knox, 'I saw her
In that new gown Of hers, and she real
ly behaved as If she was happy.''
"WeliT queried Miss Ascum.
"Well. it's remarkable how happy
some people can be no matter how
they look."-Catholic Standard and
Times.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
REPORT OF THE CONDITION OF THE
and Me-
ChaniCS Bank,
OF HONESDALE. WAYNE COUNTY. PA
at the close of business. April 29. 1911.


RESOURCES.
Reserve fund. +
Cash, specie and notes, sl3469 3S
Due from approved re-
- serve agents. s........... $40 .061 4g--53536 81
Nickels, cents and fractional
Checks and other cash 'itemnss...... 32ii @
Due from banks and trust COM
panies not reserve.
Bills discounted, ed,................... S1949 5S
Time loans with collateral. .... 22s3I 90
Loans on call with collateral . 2SO84 80
Loans on call upon two or more
Loans secured by bonds and mort. O-'D'- W
cages. ...:,;................ 14,466 90
siye of reserve bonds, viz. ..........
Stocks, bonds. ETC.. .$5O,O77 81
Mortgages and iudg-
ments of record .....50.51 60-l00, $40 81
Office Building and Lot ...... 1889 So
Furniture and fixtures ............... 1904 III
S 364. .619 II
LIABILITIES.
capital stock t paid in...............s 1000 90
Undivided Profits, less expenses -'''' "
Deposits, subject to check $57,757 So 'ii0 10
Cashiers checks, ,outstandg 200 on
Deposits, special. 214042 1922 500 So
$3646l9 II
State of Pennsylvania, County of Wayne, ss
I, c. A. Emery, Cashier of the above named
company, do. solemnly swear that the above
statement is true to the best of my knowledge
C, A. EMERY. Cashier
SUBSCRIBED and swornto before me this 9th
day of May 1911.
RENA S. EDGETT. N. P.
( fir %i + :, hSa%s f HSl%$2sS %sasra, Directors us
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07

~ suppose those garden seeds 1 sent
saved you quite little money" said
the affable statesman.
mo" replied Mr.. Growcher. 81
hadn't the heart to waste 'em, and the
result is that I'm in debt for garden
implements. ."-Washington Star.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
His Contrary Methods.

TII5 OOIIITuIy WOITIOUH'
"If successful perfume manufaC-
turer were to become director of the
mint he would revolutionize its meth
DDS, wouldn't hep
"How soT
Because he coins dollars by making
scents."-Baltmore American.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
Unusual.

She-What are you laughing at?
He-Your hat.
"Oh, dear! Haven't 1 got it on
straight"
Eyes; that's why I'm laughing. II
looks funny on straight"
Statesman.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07

"Do you save Up money for rainy
day, dear?"
"Oh. no! | never shop when II
rains "-Browning's Magazine.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
Fixing the Record.

Fixing the Record.
Clergyman (taking friend round poor
parish)-Yes, a nervous little fellow.
remember his father was highly
strung.
Woman-Ye remember wrong then.
e got OFF wiv ten years!-Punch.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1911-06-07
Salhsh Girl.

The Widow-Everybody says my
daughter got her beauty from me-
What do you think about It?
Old Bachelor-Well. she certainly
had lot Of nerve to take all Of it.
Chicago News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1911-05-25
COMMERCECOURT
GETS INJUNCTION
Locks Horns with Interstate
Board over Interference with
Sugar Trust Rebates.

Washington. May 1.-THE commerce
court yesterday assumed complete domi-
nation over the Interstate commerce
commission when II eujoined the commits
sion from interfering with rebates Of
about $500 coo annually which the sugar
trust collects from the railroads that
handle sugar from the refineries to the
New York terminals.
The injunction was surprise and a
Jolt to the commission aud widened the
breach between the two commerce Gt-
bunals. This breach has been growing
steadily since the commerce court was
created.
While the commls slon has not stated
what action it viii take In the case,
1t is the consensus Of opinion that the
order granting the Injunction Will be
appealed to the Supreme Court of the
United States. The members of the com
mission, It is said feel especially keenly
Yesterdays injunction, since II ls looked
upon as an assumption Of unwarrantel
authority and was handed down with
out stating any reasons for the ruling.
a COURT or REVIEW.
The commerce court wsLs generally
understood 10 have been created 10 act
| over the interstate commerce commission
In the capacity of a court OF review
on points of law and conflscation alone.
| This injunction means that the court
holds the right TO review all evidence
| ana facts as collected by the commits
sion and that 1t may ut any time set
aside decision of the commission on
point Of evidence as well as exception
Of law.
| The principle established means that
the commerce court may at any time
| decide upon the reasonahlen of a rate
IN contradiction to the rulings Of the
commission ana may accept or refuse
TO accept the decisions Of the courts in al
| matters pertaining to rate making. y
logical procedure from this basis would
give the court complete power over the
commission In all its functions.
PREFERENTIALS To TRUST.
The injunction was granted on the
| contention Of the Federal Refining COM
| pay which held that all lines hand
ling the trusts products give 1t prefer
entail treatment in and around New
| York.
Many years ago Henry Havemeyer
head Of the trust. secured an arrange
| ment with the railroads in New York
| by which they allowed his company two
cents per hundred pounds for cartag'
and different amounts for lighternge o
sugar from the trusts rehneries acrus.
the Hudson to the railroad terminals.
The competitors held that thes'
amounts were vastly IN excess Of th'
cost OF service and amounted to gtganti,
rebates. The Federal Refining company
which Is located at Yonkers, could nevel
get these reductions from the railroads
because. the railroads said. they wer'
outside OF the lghterage limits OF New
York harhor.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1911-05-25
HEAVY SHOES SAVED LIFE,
West Rutland Workman Crushed un-
der Slabs OF Marble.

Rutland. May ga pair Of shoes
heavily tapped probably saved the life
Of David Johnson OF West Rutland who
was seriously injured in the finish
ing shop of the Vermont Marble COM
pany at the west side this morning.
AS it was, his left leg was broken
between the thigh and knee near the
hip. II was fractured transversely.
johnson was at work selecting a
slab of r;arble from a large pile. It
is custon ~ to place an iron bar at
the side OF the slabs. using this for
support in getting TO the center OF the
pile. Six large. heavy slabs had been
placed so they depended on the iron
bar for support when this slipped and
Mr.. Johnson was pinned under the
hundreds OF pounds OF stone. He fell
sideways and In so doing HIS thick
taps partly saved him from tho brunt
| of the blow. His ief. leg, however, was
badly smashed and there is a possibility
| # its having to be amputated. The man
was taken to the Proctor hospital.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1911-05-25
BURGLAR FOUND
DE AID IN TRAP
Woman Returning Home after
Five Weeks Absence Discov-
ers the Body.

New York, May A.-The body of a man
dangling from a sltylght was the sight
that greeted Mrs. Elias Surut when she
returned this afternoon to her home In
Harlem after a five weeks stay out of
town She fled and returned with a po-
iceman, who took the body down.
Investigation showed that the man was
a burglar trapped while trying to break
into the house. He had raised the sky
light cover, which weighs about 15O
pounds, propped 1t up with a lath and
started to let himself down into the house
with rope, one end of which was tied
to the chimney. As he lowered himself
the cover dropped and caught him by the
neck. and he strangled to death. He had
been dead at least four or five days.
Skeleton keys and a loaded revolver
were found in the mans pockets. He was
later Identified as Jos. J. Teur. but two
weeks out of Sing Sing and with lons
prison record.