Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-03-01
An Obituary Poem
BY LAWRENCE ALFRED CLAY
Copyright 1911. BY Associated Literary Press)

the next issue. and in a conspicuous
place He didn't exactly assert that
it was a gem Of poem, but left the
editor to find out for himself.
About the time poor Polly was do.
ing the dying act the editor and own.
er Of the paper was 20 miles away and
saying to a friend and chum in the
city:
Il hate to break into your vacation.
Clarence, old man, but I'm In a fix.
Got TO go west to settle up an estate
and come home with a full pocket.
Be gone a month. You must come
down and run the Eagle for Ice"
but I'm booked To- the Catski,s."
They be hanged! incest town
incest climate-best fshing-nicest
girls. Why. you1l own the whole show
in week. All you've got to do is 10
steal an editorial or two on our rela-
lions with Japan. and the boys will do
the rest"
There was further protesting and
arguing, but in the end the Eagle"
man carried his point, and that was
how Mr. Clarence Thorpe. author and
journalist. came to be occupying the
editorial chair of the village paper
when Miss Nellie Lees poem APP
peared
the poem was first read with sur
prise. lhen with ridicule, then with
Indignation. 1t was an insult to send
a parrot obituary to the Eagle" MIR.
Thorpe was about to return 1t to the
major with some caustic observations
when Fate stayed his hand. AL
though Miss Nellie's name did not APP
pear as the author, her father had
given her credit In his letter. She
might be one of the nice girls the
editor had mentioned The poem
would not bear publication. even as a
burlesque. but why hurt a nice girls
feelings?
Mr. Thorpe laid aside the manu-
script and took walk. boy told
him in which direction to walk to
pass Major Lees residence. He didn't
know exactly why he wanted to pass
IT, but he walked on. The major was
sitting on the veranda with his cigar.
and Providence ordained that a sum.
mer shower should begin to fall at
that moment,
Come In. sir--come under shelter
till It's overt" called the old soldier.
and the invitation was taken adyan-
tage Of
The two discussed politics and
other things and exchanged names.
The major received the impression
that MIR. Thorpe had selected the viii
lage in which to pass month or so.
and perhaps gather material for an
other book. This gave him an open
Ing to relate the death of the parrot
and the construction OF the poem. and
to add in his blunt way:
Yes; mailed the poem to our paper
last night. I've been told that the edl-
tor Is an ass. but perhaps he'll see the
beauties in these verses II he doesn't
I'll call at his office and make II my
business to find out why he isn't run
ming a sawmill"
The Eagle" was to be issued in
three days. II the poem did not go in
the major would keep his word, But
Mr. Thorpe was determined that 1t
shouldn't go in. He would dodge the
major. He would even bride the Office
boy to lie.
On the day the paper was to DO Is.
sued. he encountered the man of war
on the street aud was taken home
with him for another talk on the YER
anda On this occasion he was intro
duced to Mrs Leo and daughter. and
two hours had passed very pleasantly
when boy brought copy of tho
Eagle" 1t was hurriedly opened by
the major No poem!
Nellie. my hat and camel" he shout
ed I'm going down there and call
that editor fool"
Away he went In spite of protesta-
lions. and after he was outside the
gate, Miss Nellie said
"Oh, do so hope he won't find the
editor In It was an awful foolish
thing TO send such poem as that.
Mr.. Thorpe. can't you help me to get
II BhCh " duk W EGd ~
father knowing it,
Mr.. Thorpe promised to see what
could be done The major found the
editor out. and that lie brought tho
office boy so cent? The next day 1t
was so cents more, aud the next and
the next. Then the major gave up the
quest. His emotions over the death
of poll had begun to wane.
Every two or three days Mr.. Thorpe
occupied q seat on the veranda for a
time. and then no began 10 be invited
to dinner The editor returned from
California. but still Mr. Thorpe lin
gered. 1t was at the end of three
months. with a trip now and then to
the city, that he major said to him:
Yes, go in and win her II you can.
Hang you. you rascal. found out
that you suppressed that poem on me.
but haven't laid 1t up against you"