The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1911-05-10
WHAT ARE
GOOD MANNERS7

What are good manners7
Tact" says one, kindness Of heart"
says another.
This question, asked and answered
in a thousand different ways by Pc
tronius, Lord Chesterfield and other
arbiters Of elegance. arises again in
the present day when manners seem
an art lost in the maelstrom Of money
making.
OF course, there are no set rules
concerning courtesy, as every age
makes its own code Manners are too
elusive, too changeable for 1t to be
possible to lay down any hard and
fast restrictions as to what is correct
in one generation or vulgar in an
other.
Manners have been defined as "the
result of much good sense, some good
nature and little self denial for the
sake of others, and with view to
obtain the same indulgence from
them" Again it has been said, eff we
look to our manners, our morals will
look out for themselves" which say
ing contains as much wisdom as wit.
To be Of real value, good manners
should be acquired early; then they
will become second nature, for the
good habits and impressions of early
youth have a way of sticking to one
through life.
To begin with, it is the greatest mis-
take to think that manners are only
for society, and are to be set aside
with our outdoor garments when he
comes home. If manners are meant to
hide the unsightly side of human ma
ture, to clothe the nakedness which
shocks our highly cultivated sense of
what is fitting, it is surely at home
that this primitive aspect is most
likely to obtrude, and 1t is just as
shocking when displayed at our own
fireside as to the world at large. If
parents taught the sons of the house
to be polite to their sisters, and if
they themselves were polite to each
other there would be fewer unhappy
homes. Boys often think that manners
are meant only for girls, but they
would be none the worse or less man
ly for knowing how to behave, while
it is the greatest help to a girl when
she goes out into the world to be
able to feel at ease in society, to en-
ter and leave a room gracefully and
to find the right thing to say when
her mothers friends speak to her.
Nothing plays a more important part
in a woman's career than charm, vet
nothing is more elusive or more diff
cult to describe. We know it when we
meet it, we feel it's influence, but alas!
if we do not possess it we can hardly
hope to achieve it, for charm is a gift
of the fairy godmother, one of the
most precious of gifts, and one of
the rarest. Youth and even health
vanish with the passing years, riches
have wings, and too often fly away;
beauty we know is skin deep, but
charm will last a lifetime.
If, however, we are not one of the
favored of the fairy godmother, and
| so cannot get the vital spark, the real
| thing, we can still have nice, pleasing
manners. Of course, those who are
born and bred in a certain miIieu know
instinctively what to do and what to
leave undone, but, for all that, no one
| can be so rude or so crushing" as
! your grande dame when she chooses,
though no doubt she would say that
she does not choose, that the unpleas-
ant necessity is forced on her by cir
cumstances. The ideal good manners,
| however, are largely tempered by the
milk of human kindness, and though
| the woman of the world should be
dignif1ed, she need not be rude.
1t must be owned, though, that this
many people who ought to know bet
ter allow themselves to be very rude
to those they do not know, or whom