The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1911-12-15
TAKING THE CURE.
Graphic Pen Picture of Carlsbad
and Its Dyspeptics.
MUD BATHS AND VILE WATER

Tho Victims Drink Often and Drink
Deep and Absorb With tho Evil Brew
Large Doses Of Misery-An Un-
pleasant and Costly Road to Health.
A city shaped like cup, cup con-
tanning hot water. The sides of the
city are clothed with pines, and in the
hollow lie the waters where the dys-
peptics of. the world foregather to
drink and to be healed. They desire to
be freed from excess Of fat. from vel
low skins, from pains that catch one
in the small Of the back and from the
stiff joints that follow hard upon the
pleasures Of the too abundant board.
In Carlsbad you drink often and
occupation. Your drinking glass is
strapped over your shoulders as you
wander, slipping from spring to spring
as assiduously as any one bee, but
you do not get honey.
Your misery begins at 6. At 6 o'clock
they call you, and you are expected to
be shaved and decent before you face
the world Of waters and of miserable
sinners at Z o'clock. If you had not
been a miserable sinner, too, you would
not be here. but you have done those
things you ought not to have done and
you have left undone those things you
ought to have done, and your penalty
| Is Carlsbad.
So you take your place at the end of
a queue 300 dyspeptics long and wish
you were dead. You very nearly are,
for no morning tea" sustains you; they
forbid that; it is strictly against the
law. You take your turn at the "Spru-
del" spring uncontrolled by the cook.
Everything contributes to your misery.
A German close behind you is tread
ing on your heels and breathing loudly
down your neck, and q gentleman in
curious top hat is conducting an or
chestra with intent to make you merry.
He fails. You hate him. And every
moment you draw nearer to the "Spru-
del" spring. 1t leaps from the bowels
Of the earth toward the roof Of the
colonnade shrouded in it's own steam
and a girl in waterproof overalls
catches. you a glassful by means of
long pole.
Then you retire to a corner with the
evil brew and try to drink it. 1t tastes
of dead rats-hot ones, long dead. Your
character may be OWNED by your
method of dealing with it. 1t may be
faced as one faces a pet beverage,
with an air." or it may be dallied with
in sips-or thrown away. 1t may beat
you altogether. but this is rare. The
hardened dyspeptic who does his year
ly "cure" has trick with little glass
pipe. He is initiated by the wise. Aft
er the first fell glass you hurry to the
little glass pipe stall and buy little
glass pipe for your very own. and half
an hour later you brace yourself to-
gether for the second dose. If you
have sinned deeply you may be order
ed even three. but probably you will
be let off with two goes of "Sprudep
and one of something lighter.
An, hour afterward you may have
an inadequate meal Of sour milk, one
egg and a browny roll that would baf'
fle dentist. During the morning you
will be required to undergo a bath
possibly Of mud, reeking with curative
properties and very expensive-as ex
pensive as the lunch yous would like
to have afterward If they would lei
you. Even as it stands your mockery
of meal, fruit rice and a bit of O
boiled bird climbs up to total hither
to unassociated with such elementary
A insufficiencies. At o'clock you drinE
more water. AT 10 the long day closes
/ with final gulp, and the dinner inter
vening is beneath the dignity Of word:
! of any words.
Sixty thousand of the sorrowful sub
iect themselves to these penalties year
~ every summer.
But in spite Of the 10000 you will
probably be lonely soul in Carlsbad
Its dietetic system does not make To-
sociability or mirth. But as the day
go by the pink hues of health begin t.
return to your cheek. your color cease
to be drab and your temper become
less vile. You find you can TOLERATE
your fellow man with some degree o
courtesy even when he breathes dow
your neck and clears his throat in tn
region Of your ear. There is less o
Hamlet about you and more OF PUCK
for your days are ordered now more Il
conformity with natures plan and you
reward is an equability that is foreig
to the life Of broken laws in the plac
from whence you came. For two
three weeks this quickening process
will dovalop and continue until in tn