davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

permit some few people to use their
laugh on me, pussonally, but 1 allow
no one, sub, to laugh at ye' Uncle
Ovens beliefs, now that is too ever
lasting late to change them, suh!"
Good old Murf, you mustn't mind
Uncle Peter; he's sun-tounched," I
said, tapping my forehead signifi-
cantly.
"Oh!" said Murf; 'locoed?"
Plum, on the horse question"
answered.; "but otherwise as harm
less as a kitten. He was kicked on
the forehead some years ago by a
roadster, and now even the mention
of horse puts him up in the air.
Talk automobiles to him, Murf, and
be on the safe side"
II reckon yo' all best excuse me
from any automobile talk" said Murf,
earnestly. II nevah hope to see the
day, sub, when one Ut them foolish
wagons can rise high enough in my
esteem to be talked about. I'm a
hossman, and from Kaintucky, subj"
At that moment, Clara j., Aunt
Martha, Uncle Peter and Tacks ap-
peared, and it was evident from their
actions that a family council in re-
gard to Murf's supposed mental con-
dition had just adjourned pending
further investigation.
The two ladies remained at safe
distance and whispered together SYM
pathetically from time to time, while
Tacks armed himself with rock and
prepared for the worst.
But the hit of the shsw was Uncle
Peter. He danced around Murf with
a broad grin on his face and bowed
extravagantly.
Murf sided up to me. did yo'
all say he's harmless?" he whispered,
hoarsely.
Perfectly SOL" answered; "hu.
NOR him, though"
Uncle Peter called me aside. "sure
he's harmless?" he asked, eagerly.
Perfectly So" told him; "but
humor him."
The two eyed each other and began
to grin foolishly. 1t was my cue to
crack a rib, but l had to keep a
straight face or lose the fight.
Presently Uncle Peter and Murf
were strolling around the lawn to-
gether, the former laying himself out
trying to be pleasant, while the latter
kept watching his companion out of
the corner of his eye.
l joined Clara ]. and Aunt Martha
to tell them that the visitor was as
doci1e as pet lamb, when suddenly
an awful yell caused us to turn quick
ly, and we beheld Uncle Peter down
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
TAKE OATH OF ALLEGIANCE
Interesting Affair in the Supreme
Court Making Foreign Nuns Gill.
zens of the United States.

A very interesting affair took place
the other day in the Supreme Court of
the District of Columbia when Justice
Barnard, of that body, administered
The oath of allegiance to the United
States to three nuns of the Congrega-
ton of Perpetual Alteration and made
them citizens of the United States.
About three months ago the sisters
fled application at the home of John
R. Young, clerk of the court, who ar
ranged matters so as to save the three
sisters the embarrassment Of appear
hall, as the life of these three women
has been clustered one While that
could be done, it was not possible to
waive their appearance in court to
take out their final papers. They
were accompanied to court by Mgr.
Jas. F. Mackin and Mother Martin,
Superioress of the convent, who stood
sponsor of their qualifications to be-
come citizens.
The new citizens are Marie Ramp,
born in Holland; Rachelina Maresca,
of Meta de Sorrento, Italy, and Sever
ina De Giovanni, of Sicily. The Sis
tiers came to America on the Western
land October 10, 1900, and, landing at
New York, came Immediately to the
convent in this city, where they have
since resided.
The costume worn by the sisters to
court was entirely of black. For a
wrap they wore black cashmere
shawls; long crepe wells covered small
black bonnets, and hung down their
backs.
The usual questions required by the
law were propounded by Justice Bar
nard and demurely answered by the
three applicants, but they were unable
to refrain from smiling broadly when
the court inquired if they are believ-
ers In the doctrines of polygamy.
Their vows, of course, preclude mar
riage.
When the oath abjuring allegiance
to Queen Wilhelmina by one of the
sisters and King Victor Emmanuel by
the other two had been taken, Mgr.
Mackin escorted the sisters to Mr..
Young's private Office in the city hall,
where the concluding formalities were
arranged. The sisters then returned
to the convent
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
Murf Sat on Uncle Peters Chest.

. on the lawn kicking furiously, while
Murf sat on his chest and swatted him
in the ribs.
In a moment l had pulled them
apart and Murf exclaimed, when
the gentleman informed me, sub, that
he used to be a brokah in Wall street,
l fo'got for the moment that he is off
his dip, sur, and / plugged him one
for yo' Uncle Owens sake, sub, &C
cording to certain promises made to
myself, sub! I'll be glad to see yo' all
at ouah training quatahs tomorrow,
subj" and with this Murf politely
dotted his hat to the alarmed ladies
and strobe off majestically down the
road.
Il beg pardon, Uncle Peter"
said, but on the level, forgot to tell
you not to mention Wall street to
poor old Murf."
"Confound you and poor old
Murf!" spluttered my surprised and
bewildered relative, feeling the dis
turbed portions of his anatomy care
fully for breakages. 1.-THE man is a
lunatic. Harmless, indeed! It's my
belief he ought to be in an asylum
Oh! my chest! my chest! I believe
it's crushed I'M"
Aunt Martha, in tears, ran hither
and back in wild alarm. ooh,
Peter!" she cried; you must put on
mustard plaster at once. Tacks,
dear, run and get the mustard! Come
in the house, Peter, and lie down.
Oh, John, don't let that horrid man
come here again." and with this they
all rushed in to spring the first aid to
the injured gag on Uncle Peter.
I knew the old gentleman was more
frightened than hurt, so sat down on
the wheelbarrow and treated myself
to hearty laugh.
Present a wild war whoop issued
from the interior of the house and
Uncle Peter came running out, claw
ing at his manly bosom.
Take it off! take it off," he yelled;
'it isn't mustard. Mustard only
burns; this is biting clean through to
my backbone! Take it off," and with
this he threw the offending plaster
out on the lawn and rushed off up
stairs like one pursued by dogs.
I picked up the cause of the riot
and looked 1t over as Tacks drew nigh.
you said the other day that Uncle
Peter was bughouse. so when Aunt
Martha wanted to make the mustard
plasted l gave her the can of insect
powder" he said. softly
Isn't that boy the limit?
Copyright By G. W. Dillingham; Coz
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

About horse racing" she added
with falling barometer and increasing
cloudiness, winds shifting to north.
east, probably snow.
The mans name Is Murf Higgin.
bottom!" she said, quietly, looking
me straight in the eye.
"Murf Higginbottom!" echoed
slowly, while l got a good grip and
pulled myself together.
Eyes, Murf Higginbottom!" she
said, questioningly.
Dear old Murf," / murmured; $50
he did get out to see us after all. Bless
his kind heart, how does he look?"
Il presume he looks as he usually
does; you ought to know" she an.
swered, haughtily.
"All the way from Kentucky to see
me-" I went on as though thinking
aloud. HE was my Uncle Owens
best friend-Uncle Owen Henry, of
Lexington, Kentucky
Clara ]. watched me narrowly
Poor Uncle Owen is dead!" said,
with a Sob
Uncle Owen is dead" Clara J.
said in establishment
"Yes, dear, but don't cry; I'll bear
the blow alone" cut in.
II had no thought Of crying, I
assure you," she answered. why
never even heard of this Uncle Owen
before"
| Neither did I!-that is, mean I
never heard of him dying until he was
dead!-a very sad case. The news
only reached me yesterday, but kept
it from you and I bore up and was
cheerful just for your sake, Peaches"
She didn't know just how to size
me up.
/ And now Murf is here" started
again. "Murf was my Uncle Ovens
care for years. l wonder If Murf il
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
Extra Hour for Clerks,

Department employees in Washing.
ton are quite sure there should be a
limit to the zeal of lawmakers of the
economic turn of mind and that the
limit is just this side of tampering
with the present hours for work. I'm
der the present system clerks are
through with work at 4:30 o'clock.
Now some one suggests another hour
in tho afternoon for the clerks, releas-
ing them just too late to join in the
clothes parade on the avenue, or to do
anything except go home.
Some measures Of economy are to be
applauded and some are to be met
with disappearing silence. The extra
hour of work belongs to the latter
class, in the opinion of department
clerks. In return for the extra hour
1t is proposed to give the clerks every
Saturday afternoon, but as most of
them take that anyway, the proposition
does not sound alluring.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
Statue Before His Door.

Gen. Theodore Bingham, who was
removed from the police commission
ership of New York by Mayor McClel.
Ian, has bought a house in Washing
ton. For several days real estate
man took him around the city showing
him houses, and finally sold him one
in front of the Highlands.
While this house was being in
spected the real estate man expected
every moment that the general would
inspect the front view from the house,
take chill and declare negotiations
off. He happened, however, to close a
deal scr the place before discovering
that 1t faced statue of General Nc
Clellan, father of the famous New
York 10 ayor he SO cordially dislikes.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
Had No Real Money.

Charles D. Hilies, assistant secre-
tary of the treasury, is a quiet man
with great gift for humor. and he
knows about all there is to know con-
corning money and finance. He was
sitting at table in restaurant with
a friend one evening when one of the
wealthiest men in the Capital entered
and sat down nearby.
Referring to the millionaire, who is
notorious for his custom of holding to
every dollar, Hilles' friend said, THAT
old fellows as rich as Croesus. won
der how much money he really has,"
None" replied Hilles dryly.
Money, you know. 10 circulating me-
dunn"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

still afflicted. Did Murf say that he
was on here with string of horses?"
"He did," she said, stonily.
"Poor old Murf! A string Of seven
horses for me?"
"a string of seven horses for you,
yes!"
TOO bad; I was SO in hopes Murf
was better. Did he say that Uncle
! Owen considered me big Casino on
the Eastern tracks,"
His very words" Clara ]. said.
Isn't it pitiful to think Murf is no
better" I went on; but he's per-
fectly harmless"
! Harmless" she repeated.
Perfectly SO" I answered. Hes
been that way for years. When quite
a young man a thoroughbred horse
belonging to my Uncle Owen kicked
Murf on the head and ever since that
day the poor fellow is always arriving
in the East with a string of seven
horses for the big Casino on the East
ern tracks. He's what we call colt
crazy in medical circles. AS soon as
meet him he'll tell me the horses are
well, see If he doesn't"
Clara ]. began to walk slowly up
to the straight goods counter and
felt that catastrophe had been
| averted.
| Lets go and see Murf!" sug-
gested, "but let me handle him So
| u-ho
| about horses you'll find him the quiet
| boy with the gentle gaze; and if he
does insist that I'm a horse owner,
give him the belief smile and pass it
up"
On the veranda Murf and Uncle
Peter were conversing earnestly, but
directly we appeared Murf arose and
said, "Yo' colts are doing fuss class,
sub; but l reckon yo' all best come
down and look them ovah, sub!
We are qua'ted only about three
miles away from here, SUR"
Didn't I call the turn?" l whis-
pered to Clara ]. Put Uncle Peter
wise to Murfs condition and tell him
not to make any breaks"
Uncle Peter scowled fiercely at me
and joined Clara j., while I shook
Murf's hand and lied how glad l was
to see him.
''This here old man is yo' uncle,
subj" Murf inquired.
MY wife's uncle" replied.
That's some bettah, sub; being
10 blood relation, it won't hut yo'
pride SO much when l tell yo' all that
he has lightning bugs in his hayloft,"
Murf said, earnestly.
What has the old gentleman done
to you. Murf?" l inquired.
Done, subj" shifted Murf. con-
temptuously; when I informed him,
sub, tht had brought seven bosses
on from Kaintucky for yo' all he be-
gan to froth at the mouth, sub! And
when / told him that yo' Uncle Owen
went oVah the final and full co'se be-
lieving that yo' all was big Casino on
the Eastern tracks, sub. that old
truck boss laughed in my face, sub.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
| John Henry
- and the Two Dippy Boys
BY GEORGE v. HOBART

Wnew, but my seven gee gees had
iet me in for lot of trouble. MY
Iate uncle had willed me seven
horses, and they had been delivered
70 me secretly by his old trainer
Marr Hlgginbottom, at Jersey City
Wnen i returned to town to meet
olara j. and Tacks at the restaurant
VINO should butt in but my old friend
Like Lawrence. Dixie was half seas
over and had demanded an apology
Tor my failing to recognize him in
Jersey City.
racks laughed half the way home
oue Clara J. kept handing me the
verbal ice pitcher.
What's the matter, Peaches? sure.
~ you're not angry because the old
original jag builder butted in! Dixie
doesn't mean any harm, believe me;
ana besides, I couldn't help it
o1dnt see him first" l explained.
Oh! Mr.. Lawrence didn't worry
me-" she answered; II felt sorry for
him, that's ALL"
Then why don't you haul in the
cold wave fiag?" l insisted.
Yes, but you went to Jersey CITY
alone, and I've been begging you for
SIX months to go over there with me
and call on Aunt Debbie Williams"
Clara D, complained.
rs that all that's worrying your"
answered. "You see, had to 20
over there on business-stock bust
ness-and that's no idle dream! The
1irst time get hold of an evening that
1 really hate I'll take it over to Aunt
Debs and kill it. Well do a society
call that will make her and the parrot
sit up and notice US. Come on, now,
reaches, let's tear up the divorce
papers and be good friends again!"
Clara J. smiled and then I knew
the storm was over.
Bright and early next morning
Uncle Peter was down on our porch
throwing the hooks into me about my
recent Wall street deal By failing
to take advice l had lost a wad of
paper profits.
How much are you ahead, John?"
he asked, delightedly.
OF course I couldn't afford to let
him know that I had sawdust in the
COCO so I yawned and said, ooh!
about ss.0O0!" in bored sort of way.
Fine" chuckled the old gentle
man; now you take my advice and
stay out Of the market for week or
two"
Sure as you live" I answered,
earnestly. Make it three weeks
I'll give the street a chance to re-
cover from the jolt 1 gave it. 1t
doesn't seem right to go down and
yank the yellowbacks away from
those busy boys In the Bond district,
so I'll let up on them for a while, eh,
Uncle Peter?"
The old man took my josh as a bit
of on-the-level reading matter and
said, Leave it to me. I'll tell you
when to get In again and when to
get out. After that stormy drop in
Westerns yesterday the market is
bound to be unsteady. Walk slow.
John and watch me-"
/ promised to be very careful and
went in the house to figure out just
how stood in the matter Of ready
cash. After hard dig found that
over and above home comforts l could
RON up just eleven hundred dollars,
enough to keep Murf and the seven
orphan skates out Of the poorhouse
for few days, at any rate.
After breakfast l sat down in my
dope den to map out a plan of cam
paign and presently Clara J. came in
and said, John, how much more
money will you have to make in Wall
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

A
+To+ Mime Ponnoya has invented rudderless arhp WHICH
authorities been called the
from it's nuar construction De Condray was the lhVen " W
mankn useful in the teaching of anatomy q
The familiar icecream patented IN lo4a oy MIS-
NJ Johnson The model patent office shows that IL mas ~
practically unchanged jeanette Powers invented the aquarium ~
Coston light so signaling at nlgh Is ha ~
it's inventor, Washington
Lady Amherss patent spring coapsbe muf has had quite vogue
among the ultra fashionb Miss Madeline Edison VINO asss "
famous father laboratory invented and marketed an au
bile map.
Mary deadener, adaptable to elevated anu
consumer both successful The apar1s1 Is
the comb foundation for her bee 'e %
The essential feature OF TINS h'e
that all the cells "worker" size
Sally pocket sewing machn Betsy j. Martins ASBESTOS
that dumps its cnkers from te rear
track Maggie Knights device for making satche ooton Days
machine shows wide divergence IN creative
ideas. But they are all practicable
Syllable types, slate and also typewriter for the bind process
machine for producing car coupler ana
heating beehive the seenng put
coapse collar BUTTON life raft machine for making 1odln
painting pottery few OF the inventions cred
tied to women contributed it's mite to the OF
the
of few epocmakng inventions has been conferred
if certain historians correct Notably this true OF
that the honor that great discovery
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
WASHINGTON's PRIZE BEAUTY
Miss Gladys Hinckley Picked by For.
eigners as the Capitals Hand
soonest Girl.

Miss Gladys Hinckley is considered
Washington's most beautiful girl. AL
though Miss Hinckley has many rivals
for that honor the title was conceded
when Baron Rosen, Russian ambas-
sador, globe-trotter and beauty fam
cier, exclaimed: Who Is that beauti-
full girl? / have travelled all over the
world and seen many women, but she
Is the most perfectly beautiful young
girl have even seen"
Gladys Hinckley is of the tall,
queenly type; her hair is beautiful
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

Should woman balk at the idea of
living with her mother-in-law and carry
her objection so far as to part with her
husband on that account?
She cannot in our community, at least,
maintain valid divorce suit on the ground
of being deserted by her husband.
Recently Denver wife asked for
legal separation on the ground that her
husband insisted that they make their
home at his mothers. To this she would
not agree, and the pair went their several
ways.
One of our judges before whom the
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
Needed Something to Do.

Cne of his friends once asked Mr..
Darwin's gardener about his masters
health and how he had been lately
oh" he said. my poor master has
been very sadly. often wish he had
something to do. He moons about in
the garden, and l have seen him stand
doing nothing before flower for ten
minutes at a time If he only had
something to do really believe he
would be better
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
Some
FelineS
Not
Disease
Carriers
By MRS. S. S. KELLOGG

They of homes unless harness or carefully
perorc be bnshed from Of the earth
because the providers dangerous?
Will the learned doctor be little arer discriminate between
that dangerous and those that would Seem wera
these family pets to be entirely eliminated would be lack q,
the home environment of which poets have many years sung
Leave us few just little longer DOCTOR for there many among
us who love dogs and cats and them for frendz
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

The church bells whose tolling we are
so much accustomed to hear seem indis-
pensable for announcing the time of meet
ings and church services.
Among the Mohammedans, instead Of
the bell, man, priest, stands on top OF
the temple to announce the time Of service.
Among the Hebrews in little Russian
towns they formerly had synagogue call
ers"-stentors main duty was to
walk from street to street to call the
people to the synagogue.
But in modern times clock or watch
is found in every house and hoyel. and the
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

1t is nothing new for any intelligent and
thinking person to be told that the average
prowling dog and cat is not safe compan-
ion for children or proper inmate of our
homes, but the writer begs most emphat-
ically to take exception to the opinion Of
the learned specialist who places all Ct
these faithful ireside companions under
the ban.
Take, for instance, the beautiful Per-
sian and other fine breeds of cats which
adorn SO many homes these days and also
are to be found in many of the fine cat.
teres of the CITY.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

contains some in
teresting matters
besides a goodly
store of the ne
cessary and desir-
able cash. There
are many docu.
ments, in the
form of receipts.
q c c O u n t s, a n d
what not, which,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
Wife's
Duty
to Follow
Her
Husband
By SAMUEL R. RICE
of Denver

suit was filed could plaintiffs side and refused to grant de-
cree lecture was Wes duty
to follow her husband make her home with him.
plaintiff of being deserted had herself committed de-
serion and had real basis for bringing the action
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

Me Straight In the EYE.
: street before you can buy that auto.
mobile you promised me?"
Did I threaten to get one of those
kerosene carts for you?" I answered
5. I'm getting so absent minded. Well,
inst as soon as the new styles are
ready I'll get devil wagon for you,
Peaches, that will burn up the barn
everytime it goes out"
Clara J. didn't know exactly wheth-
or was kidding her or not, SO she
laughed and dipped her oars.
An hour later she was back again
lust when I had my pipe burning fine
and my horses had won me $4,000.
I hated to wake up.
John" she said, 1--WE been talk
ing for some little time with a pecu-
.liar-Iooking stranger who came to see
YOU
=. "Yes."yI said; what's the answer"
.sFrom what he says / am led to
believe that you are deceiving me-"
she came back at me, coldly and
cuttingly.
aDeceiving you!" repeated.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
Loud
Church
| Bells
Annoy
| Many Sick
By OLIVER CLARENCE MALR0SE
By OLIVER CLARENCE MALR0SE

synagogue caller dispensed with Hebrew knows
exact hours when are held
Why dispense with the tong of stupndous bells which
ouen annoy sick their immediate let
those who wish advert the
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
CAPIT0L'S OLD PAPERS
DOCUMENTS IN THE TREASURY
MAKE INTERESTING READING.
Early Records Of Nation-Canceled
Checks for Millions More Than
Mere Slips of Paper-Some
Historic Warrants.

Uncle Sans Pocket Book as the
national treasury is sometimes called.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25
Praised for Great
Many Useful
Articles
Women
Inventors
By JOHN d. WHITE

TOTAL number of patents approxlmatlng o'0oo nov -
., a;-oot - women Of these bare dozen would come
under the caption of freak Inventions and there is not
single product of the perpetual motion crank Dear1n ..
wbmscaities show that praccabity is characteristic o.
the woman inventor. IL, ~
Harriet Hosmer famed sculptor, has mVeh'eu 'ie
permanent magnet motive power inns Is usea IL
large masses of metal. She also has discovered
transmitting limestone into marble
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

really belongs to Mrs Catherine Greene, widow OF
Gen. Nathaniel Greene of revolutionary fame. They
say that dread of the worlds adverse comment and
consequent loss of social caste induced her to
the name of Mrs Miller, which was used in connec-
ton with the patent These hstorins say that
in 1917 Mrs. Ann II. Manning perfected mower
and reaper, thus anticipating McCormick's and Hus-
sey's inventions by II years.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-02-25

gold and her features and complexion
originally. At luncheon in honor of
Miss Helen Taft, given by Mrs. Wick
ersham, she wore a deep blue velvet
dress and a pale blue velvet hat with
a $4,000 tiger skin coat