davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21

We handed out the salve thing /.
all the paper lads and they were for
US good and plenty.
After our publicity department had
been in operation for about four hours
we began to see the neighbors sit up
and notice us, and we figured on about
$1,000 opening.
The show will cost us about $50
a day." Bunch financed, with a stran-
gle hold on a big green lead pencil.
Lets see! expenses say $500 week
at the outside. Now, let's strike low
average and say we play to $500 a
night; that's $4,000 a week, and two
matinees at, say 5000, that's $4,000 on
the week, eh. Jean! That gives us a
clean profit of $1,000 apiece for the
three of us-oh, aces!"
1T looks good to me, Bunch"
agreed, and then we went out and Or
dered some more three-sheets and a
flock of snipe.
We spent the whole day in New
Rochelle, and I xeached home tired,
but enthusiastic
John said Clara ]. when we We're
alone after dinner, Uncle Peter says
if you will let him have that $4,000
by Thursday or Friday he will in
vest it where the returns will be enor-
mous!"
"Sure," answered, and l could feel
my ears getting pale; "Tll hand 1t
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
Catch 1oo.Year.Old Turtle.

Four hundred years ago, according
to estimates, Indians, with their crude
fishing devices, might have tried to
catch a large turtle that appeared at
times in the Chesapeake bay; but it
eluded generation after generation of
red men, white men, sailors and oys-
ter fishers until few days ago, when
it was finally captured and sent to a
fish merchant in Homestead. It will
make soup for 100 persons or more.
The turtle, weighing 81 pounds and
measuring nearly five feet in diam
eter across its she'll, was captured in
the Choptank river, near Choptank,
Nd, and created sensation in that
town. According to the owner, there
are 1900 barnacles on its SHE'LL
Pittsburg Post.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
The Pink Marble Personal.

While the Japanese are rapidly as
similating western business notions,
they have not yet entirely Invested
themselves of Oriental extravaganza
of expression in their advertisements,
especially those of a personal nature,
as the following, which some time ago
appeared in a Toxic newspaper, will
testify:
II am beautiful woman. My abun-
dant, undulating hair envelops me as
a cloud. Supple as a willow is my
waist Soft and brilliant is my visage
as the satin of flowers. l am endowed
with wealth sufficient to saunter
through life hand in hand with my be-
loved. Were to meet a gracious lord,
kindly, intelligent, well educated and
Of good taste, would unite myself
with him for life, and later share with
him the pleasure of being laid to rest
eternal in tomb of pink marble"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
Not Born to Be Drowned

The plan of nineteen-year-o girl
to commit suicide was frustrated in
a remarkable manner the other day.
She flung herself into the sea (near
Calais, France), but her act was wit
messed by a number of boatmen, who
at once put OFF to her rescue But the
tide swept her right out to sea, and
the men had to turn back. They
rushed into the town and gave in
formation to the authorities. A
steamboat then put off to look for
her, and three miles out to sea they
found her. She had tainted, out her
dress had formed sort of parachute
around her and kept her above water.
She was taken to shore, and soon re
covered, being little worse of her dan
gerous experience.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
Easy-Gojno Individual

l. r. Sherwood, Democratic con-
gresham from Ohio, tells this story:
A man had for years employed a
steady German workman One day
Jake came to him and asked to be ex-
cused from work the next day. Ger
tainly, Jake" beamed the employer.
What are you going to do?" "Vall,"
said Jake slowly, Il tink I must go by
mein wife's funeral. She dies yester-
day" After the lapse of few Weeks
Jake again approached his boss for a
day of. "All right, Jake, but what
are you going to do this time?"
"Aber,' said Jake, Il go to make me,
nit mein fraulein, wedding.' -
What? So soon? Why, it's only been
three weeks since you buried your
wife, ''Ach!" replied Jake, II don't
hold spite long"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21

over to him Thursday or Friday--if
you think it's best not to invest it in
that new house"
"Oh! really do" she hurried
back. You know Uncle Peter is SO
careful and so clever with his invest
ments. He told me in strictest conf.
dence only this morning that he would
more than double your money in six
months. Isn't that perfectly splen-
did,"
rs that the wonderful secret you
threatened me WITH" I asked mourn.
fully.
"Oh, no." she replied;'''I can't tell
you that till Wednesday EVENING"
promised not to-"
guess didn't sleep very we'll that
night, for had dreams of Uncle Peter
chasing me with club all over the
alter and making ME hop every seat
In the orchestra, while Ma'moiselle
Dodo sat perched on the balcony rail
and screamed, You betcher SWEET
Copyright. G. ". Dillingham; Coz
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
The Girl'a Handicap.

In her pretty new frock sister Mabel
felt quite proud as she sat on the front
step and watched some boys playing
on the sidewalk.
After a time one little boy came up
to talk to her and to admire, in his
rough little way, her bright shiny
shoes and pink sash.
"See my nice square-cut waist" ex-
claimed the grille, "and my nice coral
beads! Don't you wish you wuz \
girl?"
mo dre-ee," replied the boy. II
wouldn't want to be any girl at all.
because locke how much more neck
you hat to wash"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
Oxygen As a Cutting Tool.

A jet of burning oxygen from a blow.
pipe may be successfully employed to
cut sheet iron, iron tubes, and small
bars. The cut made Is almost IS
sharp and thin as that made by saw.
In earlier attempts difficulty was en-
countered in clearing the cut of liquid
metal and in preventing the spread of
the melting effect beyond the borders
of the cut. In later processes two
blowpipes were used. The first has
an ordinary oxyhydrogen flame, which
heats the iron to redness at the place
where the cut is to be made. This is
followed Immediately by the second
jet, composed of pure oxygen, which
instantly burns the metal without melt
ing. The liQuidized iron is blown
swiftly from the fissure, so that there
is no serious spreading of the heat to
surrounding parts.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21

saved us the hardship of ringing the
bell. Oh! he's thoughtful relative,
Bunch is"
Clara J. looked at me, looked at
Skinski, he looked at Dodo, and she
looked at the piano and said thought
fully, You betcher sweet"
The idea of Bunch coming to our
front door and then rushing off again
without seeing anybody" gasped
Peaches, what does it mean?"
Alice lives only half mile away
and possibly Bunch was running be-
hind his schedule" l suggested.
Just then Aunt Martha and Uncle
Peter came in the parlor, and present
ly l grabbed a chance to say a few
words to Skinski ON the side:
If my family circle ever gets wise
that you and the Queen of Laughter
over there are excess baggage it'll be
to the cabbage patch for mine."
whispered.
I'm on" Skinski whispered back.
Never a break from yours mysteri-
ously, believe me. We wouldn't have
come out at all If your partner hadn't
insisted. He vas so hot to have us
butt in here and hand your heart
flutter that l just couldn't resist his
pleading voice. It's a catchy jest, all
right, and it's making me laugh. The
way you two ducks josh each other is
pitiful, but your secret is safe with
me, Manager. l won't make no bad
breaks, and Dodo won't ever open her
talk-trap. She never talks of the
stage. On the stage. say! she has the
most elegant line of language that
ever left the pipes. Leave it all to
me, Manager, and I'll see that the Nc
Gowan family makes an awful hit with
your fireside companions"
And Skinski kept his word.
He shlfully led Uncle Peter around
to q discussion Of sleixht- of hand. and
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21

wife and her aunt and l tried to get
cheerful and chatty with Aunt Flo,'
but we only succeeded in dragging
from her four reluctant You betcher
sweets!"
Presently Uncle Peter and Skinski
shook hands about something, and
five minutes later Bunch's relatives"
took their departure to the accompani-
lnent OF much internal applause on my
part
Mr.. MCGOWAN is a very accom-
plished gentleman" Uncle Peter de-
cided; but handicapped by most
depressing wife; most depressing. The
Blue Hills, eh! the Blue Hills. Now,
| wonder"
Then he began to whistle softly and
went into the dining-room.
Monday morning, bright and early,
l met Bunch, and we buried the
Ratchet.
Il hope my beloved relatives didn't
disgrace me while sojourning in your
midst" he chuckled.
Not at ALL" answered airilv.
Why, Uncle Cornelius was the hit of
the season with Uncle Peter, though,
of course, Aunt Flora didn't make
good with that You betcher sweetn
monologue of hers. How could she?
Even at that, she stands better with
me than some conversational queens I
know who get so busy with the CAB
they make me dizzy"
About noon Bunch and ducked for
New Rochelle to do a bit of advance
work for our show.
Nobody knew us In the town, so we
posed as Cameron & Connolly, own.
ers of the Great Hall of Illusions,
and managers of the world WONDER
and Magic king, Signor Beppo Petro-
skinski. and Ma'moselle Dodo, the
Oriental queen Of mystery.
Pretty hot line of goods. oh?
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21

Dinner was nearly over at Uncle
denly the doorbell rang violently and
two minutes later the servant an
nounced that Mr.. and Mrs. Cornelius
MCGOWAN were in the parlor.
knew! They were really Skinski
and Dodo, engaged by us to go on the
road with their sketch, and had once
introduced them as Bunch's relatives.
Bunch was getting back!
First l decided to faint; then
changed my mind and tried to figure
out which would be the most cruelty
effective way of killing Bunch Jeffer'
son.
Uncle Peter resented the unexpected
arrival of these strangers, because he
wanted t. sit around and have the
home folks tell him how sick he was.
I'D like to know what Bunch JEFF
ferson means by sending his relatives
over to US on a Sunday evening"" my
wife's uncle snapped. "Why doesn't
he worry old Bill Grey with them, Ell?
It's bad enough for me to have to
Sneeze my head Off before my own
people, but I'll be dod bimmed if I'm
going to sit around the parlor and
play solos on my bronchial tubes for
the ediication of strangers-no, sir"
Uncle Peter SMILED off to his apart
ments, and Peaches said she'd try to
entertain the visitors.
tn holp bor CANA
Skinski arose from the sofa and
greeted us with his most elaborate
bow.
Ma'moselle Dodo didn't Society very
much.
She sat in the middle of the room
Mr.. Jefferson, my nephew" Skin
ski was saying, insisted that we
should hit the suburban trail and To-
cate your shack. Here's a note from
nephew Bunch for you
Skinski handed me the note with a
face as solemn as a nonkey-wrench,
and read it:
CITY Sunday P NJ
Dear John.-1 send herewith the two
rosebuds AS a favor to your old pal
please treat my beloved relatives with
every consideration and make fuss over
them. You know you told them in the
restaurant to come and see you. They
want to make good and will stay week
if you insist.
With llindcst regards.
BUNCH
P. S.-Don't drag Aunt Flora into any
literary discussions-she might hand you
something. Her favorite author is Pom
eroy Sec. the chap who writes all those
frothy books b.
Il wish you could have seen our
place in the daytime" Peaches was
saying to Skinski when finished
reading Bunch's get-back. I'VE think
it's delightful out here. Did you have
much trouble in finding the placer
Nav, lady fair" Skinski replied;
mo trouble at all. Nephew Bunch
came as far as the front door with us"
what" exclaimed the astonished
Peaches.
Yes" Skinski concluded; "he even
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21

to a pair of ropes running over pull
leys and adjustable to various re-
Quirements
The pupils thus suspended are then
taught how to perform the movements
of the breast stroke until the action
becomes Utmost instructive. There
is decided advantage in teaching
these NOV ements in sue a way in
stead of in the water, for the pupil
is not distracted by the fear of a
ducking. 1t is not at all easy to learn
the swimming movements even out
Of water, hence the advantage of &C.
quiring this knowledge until it be-
comes almost instructive before en-
tering the Water.-Scientific Ameri-
can.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21

stand the drain, handicap and the
losses that bad roads impose.
Again, may we ask, why is it that
In this land, where so many great
successes have been scored in so
many fields that we have utterly
failed in dealing with the highways?
In the writer's opinion the reason will
be found in certain fundamental mis-
conceptions They date back to CO.
lonial times. In the early days the
people settled along the water courses,
in the valleys. Farming was done in
primitive way 1t was the day of
the hOmespun. The hand loom and
spinning wheel were found every
where. The people lived very simply;
what they wore, they made; what
they ate, they raised: The community
was self-centered and had very little
to do with the settlement over the
hills in the next valley. The spirit of
home rule was everywhere dominant.
The roads were regarded purely as of
local concern. They were just such
roads as the people cared to build,
and whether good or bad it was no
ones business but their own.
Thus the concept that the highways
were purely a local matter and did
not concern any one outside of the
immediate vicinity became firmly es-
tablished and held undisputed sway
until about 20 years ago, when a New
Jersey man made discovery that
was far more important than finding
the north pole, and that was that the
roads were public property-they be-
longed to all the people and as such
it was the states duty to take up the
question of highway improvement and
not leave the whole burden upon the
property was limited. 1t was shown
that the worlds food supply had to
pass over these roads and that bad
roads increased the cost of delivery
made the food supply intermittant in
stead of constant, and that bad roads
produced heavy burden to every one
and was a serious economic error. A
movement was started for state aid
in road building. It met great Oppo-
sition, and principally from those who
would most greatly benefit from it
the farmers. They feared it was a
scheme to take the roads out of their
hands, and no telling where they
would land or what taxation would be
put upon them, but the movement
grew because It was right. In two or
three years after the people had had
the experience of building roads un-
der the plan, had used and paid for
them-they found it was splendid in
vestment and that instead of adding
to their burdens the good roads took
many burdeo- off. The plan became
so popular opposition died out and
those who at first We're strongly
against the plan were soon among it's
foremost advocates.
New Jersey began state aid with an
appropriation of $4,000 per year, this
sum was soon increased to five times
the amount The state aid plan of
road building spread from state to
state, until now fully half of the states
have adopted it, and it has everywhere
proved popular and successful. It is
the plan that gets the roads and SO
distributes the burden that the taxa.
ton is not appreciaDly higher than 1t
was before. State aid would have
been impractical In the early days Of
- / = z
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
Snakes In Prohibition Maine.

Snakes IN prohibition Maine,
Snakes emptied two saloons in Port
land of the crowds of customers a few
evenings ago. A nonresident ordered
south for the purpose of cleaning out
a vast number of rats from his place.
The snakes were given a chance to
demonstrate their rat killing ability
AMI the large snake destroyed Is In
a raw minutes. The snakes were then
taken to two different saloons and in
a few minutes cleared them of the
crowd.-Kennecbec Journal
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
WRONG SORT
Perhaps Plain Old Meat, Potatoes and
Bread May Be Against You
for a Time.

A change to the right kind of food
can lift one from sick bed. A lady
In Weldon, Ill.,, says:
Last spring became bed-fast with
severe stomach troubles accompanied
by sick headache. got worse and
worse until became so low I could
scarcely retain any food at all, al
though I tried about every kind.
II had become completely discour-
aged, and given up all hope, and
thought I was doomed to starve TO-
death, until one day my husband, try
ing to ind something I could retain,
brought home some Grape-Nuts.
ITO my surprise the food agreed
with me. digested perfectly and with
out distress. began to gain strength
at once. Ny flesh (Which had been
dabby), gre~ armer, my health i'm
proved in every way and every day,
and in a very few weeks I gained 20
pounds in weight.
II liked Grape-Nuts so well that for
four months I ate no other food, and
always felt as well satisfied after eat
ing as If had sat down to fine ban
quet. 4
Il had no return Of the miserable
sick stomach nor Of the headaches,
that used to have When ate other
food. am now a well woman, doing
all my own work again, and feel that
life is worth living.
"Grape-Nuts food has been a God
send to my family; it surely saved my
life; and my two little boys have
thriven On 1t wonderfully" Name.
given by Postum Co.. Battle Greek,
Mich. +.
Read the little book. The Road to
Wellvflle," In pkEs. There's q reason
Ever FoaA ~ a1ovo lottoRV 4 neW
go 0DDo0x0 1eo0 t1D0 - taD0s 3A01
aE0 gooufno, trOos a11 110 ~ A008
3Dfe10ot.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
A BUSY Place.

where Is that spot you call the
lovers lane?'" diffidently asks the
young man while the young lady waits
on the hotel piazza.
Fright down yonder." replies the
clerk. "Just keep going until you see
the porter from the barber shop.
Lovers lane is so crowded now that
we have him stationed there to give
the guests checks, so that each may
have his turn."-Judge's Library
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21

Mrs. Benham-The paper tells about
q man who stole head Of lettuce and
then went back and got another, be-
ing arrested on the second trip.
Benham-I'll bet you can't make that
fellow believe that two heads are bet
ter than one.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
The Caper Crop.

Mrs. Nuwed-Mary, for dinner
think we'll have boiled mutton with
caper sauce. Are there any capers in
the house?
Mary-No, ma'am.
Mrs. Nuwed-Then go out in the
garden and cut some.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
A Catastrophe.

A cat was being chased along tho
roof a New York building. 1t lost
It's balance and fell on a boy who was
standing on a balcony on the second
floor. The startled boy fell in his
turn, landing on baby carriage, for
tunately empty, which another boy
was wheeling in the street. The first
boy dislocated his wrist; the cat was
killed.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
Startling.

That's queer" said the conductor.
what is?''
when I told that woman her trans
fer was no good, she didn't tell me
that she'd just that minute got OF the
other car"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
Greed.

"A fool and his money are soon
parted" quoted the bunko steerer.
'Yes,' replied the green goods
man. But the trouble is that fool
usually hasn't much money to start
with"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
Teaching School Girls to SWIM.

In the apparatus in use in Ger
many for teaching school girls how to
swim the pupil is supported in such
position as to leave the legs and
arms free to perform the motions
of swimmer. The body is hung in
wide belt, suspended from a. over
head rail- while the feet are attached
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
Expensive,

Expensive.
II once proposed to a girl in q con.
servatory" :.
With what result?'' r.
"A lot of costly plants were nlppef
bv FROST"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21
UNIQUE.


why do you applaud the lady mon
ologist with such fervor?''
my dear fellow, she isn't wearing
q harem skirt"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1911-07-21

pA1s07e Fortunes arc made in patents- Pro
I'M 6U . tect yourideas Our GA page book free.
fitzgerald 4 Co.. Box X. Warrington, d. G.
The Washington times., 1911-05-13
E. II. THOMAS and JAS. FRANCIS SMITH.
Attorneys.

IN THE sUPREME COURT OF THE DIS
TRICT OF COLUMBIA. Holding District
Court. In Re: Extension of Seventeenth
Street. Northeast, in the District Of Column
by given that the Commissioners of the
District OF Columbia, pursuant to the pro-
visions of an Act of Congress approved
March l. 1911, entitled AN Act to authorize
the extension of Seventeenth Street, North
east, have filed petition in this Court
praying the condemnation of the land neces-
Northeast, from Brentwood road to Rhode
Island Avenue according to the permanent
system OF highway plans adopted in and
for the District of Columbia, as shown on a
map or plat filed with the said petition.
part thereof, and praying also that a
jury of Ave judicious, experienced, disinter-
the District of Columbia, not related to
any person interested in these proceedings.
and not in the service or employment of
the District of Columbia or of the United
States. be summoned by the United States
Marshal for the District Of Columbia to
assess the damages each owner Of the land
to be taken may sustain by reason Of the
extension of the aforesaid street and the
condemnation of the land necessary for the
purposes thereof and to assess as benefits
resulting therefrom the entire amount of
said damages. plus the costs of this pro-
ceeding upon the land abutting upon the
said street to be extended, and also upon all
other pieces and parcels of land which the
Jury may find will be benefited by the said
extension of said street. as provided for by
the Court, this Sth day of May, A. D. 1911,
Ordered. that all persons having any interest
in these proceedings be. and they are hereby
warned and commanded to appear In this
Court on or before the 2nd day of June, AID.
1911, at Ten O'Clock A. M, and continue
in attendance until the Court shall have
made It's final order ratifying and confirming
the award of damages and the assessments
of benefits of the jury to be empaneled and
sworn herein, and 1t is Further Ordered. that
a copy of this notice and order be published
once in the Washington Law Reporter and
on six secular days in the Washington Even
ing Star the Washington Herald, and The
Washington Times newspapers published in
said District commencing at least twenty
days before the said 2nd day of June, Al. D.
1911. 1t is further Ordered, that copy
OF this notice and order be served by the
United States Marshal his deputies. upon
such owners of the land to be condemned
herein as may be found by the said Marshal
or his deputies within the District of CO.
| OF the same before the said End day of June,
4: D; 1slly BY the ,.,ios GEuSt; ,ssiI HARRY I'M, M
Copy. Test: J. X. YOUNG. Clerk. BY
3. T. CUNNINGHAM. Asst. Clerk