davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24
certIficate Of Incarceration.

The following certificate OF incorpo-
radon was filed Saturday in the office
Of the clerk of the county court Of
Marion county:
IA Hall Hardware Company, with
principal place OF business at 2OS
Main street., city Of Fairmont. Capt..
TIL $4,000. Object of corporation to
conduct retail hardware store, etc
Iicorporators: j. L. Hall, Ross Mar.
TIN, Earl Dancer, w, 8. Dancer and
Nan Loar.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24
ODDAND STRANGE

From the West Virginia News-Ron-
Theresa Cooks life was saved at
Theresa COOKS lief was saved at
Providence, R. l., last week, by her
garter. She fell out OF a second story
window, and her garter caught on a
spike projecting from a blind. She
was rescued after she had hung with
her head downward for at least 20
minutes.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24
sTRAy SHOTS.
- BYi---:-----=-
COLONEL
p TX E r
When the Paper Comes.

When the Paper Comes
Mother grabs society,
Willie grabs the sports.
Agnes grabs the fashion page,
Uncle. grabs the courts.
Grandpa grabs the politics,
|, Make grabs the stage.
Grandma grabs Religions Realm
Dad the business page.
Family all satisfied,
Papers torn and rent,
Cheapest education known,
Only costs a cent.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24
"A National Eneampment

Mr.. Harry Gould OF Stevens Street
who has been at Cleveland, Ohio at
tending the National encampment Of
the Maccabees is expected home
Tuesday evening.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

ME Woman,s Christian Temperance
Union will hold a mothers meeting
next Friday afternoon at two o'clock
at the home of Mrs. Joseph Carpenter
on Diamond street.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

Nurse-What is the matter?
Johnny-The baby is fake! ! threw
him on the floor and he'd idn't bounce
a bit.-New York Sun.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

Marshall Goolsby, Of Jasper county,
gta, claims the record OF having grown
the largest beet ever produced in the
state. The beet weighs 80 IL lbs. and
was crown without cultivation,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24
.MorIcE.

Why not sinVest your money and
get g. and 7per cent interest ayable.
Ben1i:a annually. See Carl iHt5 see
homer Real Estate Loans and inHe
mems Main street Opposite Court
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24
rhfmhIe club MeetIna.

The slcillian Thimble club will
meet at the home Of Miss Ola May
on Raymond street tomorrow evening.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

james Edwin aaughlin was grant
ed a divorce last week in Chicago
from his wife, Estelle May Laughln
He alleges that his wife once hit him
in the jaw and as a result he spent
"a weeks Gil bed Of pain. During his
illness she visited his bedside and
tried to beat him to death with a
crutch,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24
81 gSsIKTV.y IEITIF5V sF3FSYNENA|
El!5Et.HI.I|'EIIII..i|.!t|,s!.IE:IIII!!IiIII+|a

Mrs. Benham-what is the white
mans burden?" ~,
Benham-The white woman'-Ne"
York Press.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

.Binks-I wish I had the appetite
had when was boy.
Jfnks-I don't. l didn't have TO pay
nv board then.-Boston Transcript.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

pardon me, madam"
q" inadvertently iabbed my eye
into your jeweled hatpin!"-London
Opinion.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24
The man who cannot change his mind

The man who cannot change his mind
In some dark corner, lost to fame,
Engaged at solitaire you'll find,
While others play the real game.
Washington Star
Ashley-Until the last I was conf
dent that the painless dentist was ab
solutely truthful in saying he woult
cause me no torture
seymour-What did he do at TIL
last3
Ashley-+Gave me his bill- chicag'
News,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

Mrs. Polly Monke died Tuesday in
Northumberland county, Tenn, aged
ninety.four years. She had lived ala
her lief on farm, outlived two hus-
bands and had never been to town.
although living within two miles Of
Crofton. She had never seen train
and had an antipathy for new fan
gled things"
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

I'd give anything, almost, Il had
Mrs. Toner'S savoir-faire."
:, q think It much more patriotic 70
own an American-made car."-Birm-
'ingham Age Herald.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24
no the Cannon wlth These.

To, the cannery with These.
OF whom are you taking lessons OF?
BY which road did you go to New
York by?
A widow woman.
The alte deceased.
What do you know about that?
A large circle Of relatives AND
friends,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

OFFICE RooMs-For rent one ONCE
room, fifth floor and three rooms on
third floor Jacobs building. Apply
Geo. M. Jacobs.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

FOR RENT-Unfurnished fiat; water
gas and electric lights. Apply 710
Merchant street, or call Bell phone
No. ii.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

RooMs-For rent, with or without
light housekeeping. Mrs. Robertson
corner High and Monroe streets.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

"And she swept the room with a
glance"
a room without a glance !"-Womah 8
Home Companion.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

FOR sALE-Three room and one 9
room cottages in Second ward, In:
uuire 22s corner Warrington and
Jefferson streets.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

oFfIcEs-For rert a few first Glass
Office rooms in Peoples National
Bank building, corner Main and
Monroe streets. Apply at the bank.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

RARN-For sale, for stable or stor;
age. Close in. W. H. Losch, 800 ia
cobs Bldg. s...g
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

TABLETOP sale mission dining ia
bic, square top, handsome design;
never been used $500. ? fIhduire
West Vlrginian office
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

HoUsE-For rent, new seven room
house. Modern conveniences. E
t. Clayton, 926 Spring st.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

RooMs-For rent large cool rooms
in Penick residence; two men Of
man and wife. Apply 62S Pike ST.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

ACKNOWLEDGES sale Maxwell
1910 at a bargain. Call at 62S Pike
street. Ask for Mr., Wibert.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

RooMs-Furnished rooms for rent,
AL Monroe street
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

Mrs, Pinhesd-You said before we
were married tia. my word should be
" Mr.. Pinhead-That was before l
found out that the law was unconsti-
onal.-Philadelphia Bulletin
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

GIRL-Wanted girl for general house
work. Apply to Mrs. H. S. Lurly
405 4th st. z E8Sit5
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

FOR sALE-shetiahd pony. 1--WE years
old new trap and harness. Apply
6O6 Sixth street and CASTOR avenue.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

FURNISHED ROOMS for light house.
keeping. Apply 2O7 Cor. Monroe
and Jackson SITS.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

"Those kentucky feuds are terri
81 don't know that l ever went
against any Kentucky foods, but l
know the Kentucky drinks can 90 b
lot Of things to man."-Houston
Post.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

maria, what was done at the meet
ing of your literary club last night?"
1--WE fined Mrs. Chillicon-Kearney 50
for accusing Mrs. Mighmus OF cheat
Ing at bridge,"-Chicago Tribune,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

Asitated Old Gent-Quick! My
daughter is oyerboardL Save her, and
she shall be your wife!
Blase Person-Wait till a wave rolls
borrower and can see her facet
Puck. .:e
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

FOR sALE-Modern room brick
dwelling including 10 acres land at
Barrackville, convenient 70 p and
o. depot and cars. reasons ble ap-
ply at BarrackYllle BpsEnastes
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

At the camp meeting service OF the
Union Pentecostal church, held at
Pleasantyllle, Pa, Mrs. Mary R. Went
eel SAYS she was mlraculously healed
from paralysis. Her entire lete side
was affected and she walked with
crutches. While, at the. altar she be-
gan to swing her left arm, which she
had been unable to use for three
years. and like flash she says her
left leg healed. She arose and, throw
ing away her crutches, walked about
the tented tabernacle, shaking hands
with everybody and thanking God iol
His wonderful healing powers.
Captain John NJ. Carnes, who Is DC
lMeved to be the Oldest living Odd Eel
low in the United States If not in tn
world, celebrated HIS ninety-eightl
birthday on July Il at his home Il
Providencetown, Mass. Captain
Carnes also claims the DISTINCTION Q
being the Oldest survivor OF the goll
rush to California in 1919.
Holding a magazine gun with tn
use OF which she Is familiar, Mrs
Ruth Abel, near Dayton, Wash, stool
at one side of a hole in the ground
and while two boys, discoveries OF
polecat den, drove the animals OH
she blazed away at them. The boy
used extra long sticks to evist the al
| imals, and as fast as the sariped an
mails emerged Mrs. Abel greeted ther
with discharge Of shot. Two larg
and ten little ones fell as a result 9
her workmanship.
The progress made by Rev. kellogg
Gold, an evangelist of Little Rorf
Ark, in stirring up religious enthl
siasm OF the Free Methodists of Altot
ILL.,, with o'clock In the morning n
vlvals, suffered setback when re-
| ]. w. Stills, pastor, was notified tha
they all would be arrested If they trie
to hold q meeting at 5 o'clock an
morning thereafter. The neighbor
have complained to him that Evange
ist Colds voice reaches five blocks.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

D. N. Hauk, of Long Beach, calp
has completed an original residence
The front door is designed after the
entrance of an Indiana barn, dear to
the heart of Mr.. Hauk. The ceiling
also is a faithful replica of the ola
barn ceiling, and he'd i'd not overlook
a stable door at the top of the stairs
landing. In striking contrast to TINS
barnyard atmosphere, a mantel Of
gray granite, set with rubies, emer'
aids, turquoises and other stones
struggles for recognition in the par
lor.i The mentel is valued at $4,000
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

GIRL-Wanted girl for general house
work. Apply 8o7 CASTOR Aye;
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-07-24

GIRL WANTEp-For general house
work, small family. inquire 5O4
Sixth ST., Fairmont avenue. s
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24

II is told of a genial Kansas politician,
who was a member OF the State board Of
control, that he once visited the deaf and
dumb school at Olathe and made speech
to the pupils. Says a writer in the Kan
sas City Journal:
His remarks were somewhat rambling,
but they were received with frequent out
bursts of applause. When he got through
he turned to the interpreter with some
pride, and said:
"Well, seemed to please the students
all right"
ayes, they enjoyed it very much,
replied the interpreter.
"But wish you would explain why
they frequently applauded at inoppor'
tune times" said Henry.
That's easy" replied the interpreter
'You made one speech and delivered
another.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24
How Long Can a Bee Liver

Thomas Burgess, superintendent OF
Kensal Green cemetery, relates a story
Of bee which lived underground for IS
years. He says:
while two Of my men were digging a
grave and when six and half feet down
from the present surface they came on
the original maiden earth, which had been
covered since 1896 with earth thrown out
at that date when excavating for the
foundations and catacombs under our
church. In throwing out spadeiul OF
the virgin mold under this mound Il
split up and broke on the board and a
large bee known as the humble bee)
came out OF the soil Considering that
the ground above was solid, loamY clay
and six and one-half feet deep, II would
be impossible for bee 10 get down this
depth. Is il possible, therefore that this
insect was covered up in 1882"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24
NEW VOL. 46-No. "a.
A Swedish Expert on Drink.

Seved Ribbing, the famous professor
of medicine at the Swedish university at
Lund, makes these remarkable statements
in concluding an address on one phase OF
the drink curse:
GLOW large per cent OF moral down.
falls are caused by drink am unable to
say, but certainly it is not infrequent that
you hear from many questioned youth
for an answer, 4 was somewhat under
the influence ofliquor.' Through drunk
enneSS and in drunkenness one accus-
toms himself 10 conditions which, under
ordinary circumstances, would be relig-
iously Stunned. In course OF time the
sense OF shame is overcome and Silenced
and the evil habits are looked upon as
an everyday necessity. The cases
when a young man will in cold-blooded-
ness and with clear head, and with de-
cided intention, throw himself into the
arms Of prostitution are very seldom in
comparison with those that happen under
the influence OF liquor. A British army
physician has shown figuratively that
sickness in troop is much less among
the total abStainers than with the balance
OF the men,"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24

Mrs. HobSon was an ideal tenant for
any landlord. She knew all the rules and
kept TO them in every place she lived.
When she discovered that the agent fer
the Uphill Apartments was slow in order
ing necessary repairs, she possessed her
soul in patience.
But when she had spoken and written
unavailingly several times in regard to the
leak from one Of her steam radiators, she
decided to send a personal note to the
owner of the property, whom she had
met and liked.
"Dear sir, " she wrote, twill you be kind
enough TO instruct your agent to pur-
chase for my use large tin pail and a
rubber mat, four feet by ten? The pail
will do to catch the water from the leak
ing radiator pipe when am in The house
and frequently empty it, but the rubber
mat is a necessity at other times. Yours
respectfully, Mary Hobson."
She never needed either the pail or
mat.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24
The Piping Costs.

An apparent inconsistency which may
have bothered many thoughtful person
is admirably explained by story told by
a writer in the Detroit News-Tribune
The colored parson had just concluded
powerful address on Salvation is Free, y
and was announcing that collection
would be taken for the benefit Of the par
son and his family. Up jumped brother
in the back ofthe church. "Look a-yeah
pahSon," he interrupted, eff salvation am
free, what's de use in payin' for it2
amt goin' 10 glib yo' nothin' till | find
out. Now"
"Patience, brudder, patience, said the
parson. 1'Il 'Iucidate. S'poSe yo' was
thirsty an come TO a river. Yo' could
kneel right down an drink yo' fill, could
Mt yo'? An it wouldn't cost yo' moth
in, would it?"
"Ob co'se not. OATS jest what /"
"Dat water would be free," continued
the parson. "But s'posin' yo' was tc
hab dat water piped TO yo' house, yo'd
have to pay, wouldn't yo' ?"
"Yas, sub, but"
"Waal, brudder, salvation is free, but
it's de havin' it piped TO yo' dat yo' go'
to pay fo'. Pass de hat, deacon"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24

The wife had come home in great ex-
citement, full Of an extraordinary adven-
ture she had had in the subway. On the
authority Of Carolyn Wells in Life she
began thus:
Eyes, I'll tell you all about il, John,
dear. You see, was in such haste. and
just flew through the gate and flung my
ticket to the tocket clipper"
There, there Don't talk so fast,
little woman. You mean the chicket
topper"
"Hal hal You're as bad as ami OF
course / mean the chocket Upper"
"Well, what's the matter with you 2
Go on, you flung your ticket TO the top
pet chicken"
"The chippet tocker-"
"The tippet checker"
"The choppet ticker"
20 the dickens Next time do take a
surface carp
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24
Attack Like Tigers.

In fighting to keep the blood pure the
white corpuscles attack disease germs
like tigers. But often germs multiply so
fast the little fighters are overcome. Then
see pimples, boilS, eczema, salt-rheum
and sores multiply, and strength and ap-
petite fail. This condition demands Elec-
tric Bitters TO regulate stomach, liver and
kidneys and to expel poisons from the
blood. "They are the best blood puri-
fer" writes c. T. Budahn, OF Tracy,
Calf, al have ever found" They make
rich, red blood, strong nerves and build
up your health. Try them. SOC at Hills
Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24
Shepherdstown Jefferson County, West Virginia. Thursday August d. 1911
The Other Side.

The Judge inquired whether the prison.
er had counsel, and finding that he had
not, requested a distinguished attorney
who was in the room TO represent the
young man at the bar. The case was
short. The prisoner had been employed
as clerk, and had stolen money. The
evidence was conclusive; there was
nothing worth speaking of for the de-
fense, and the young man was soon SEN
fenced to five years Imprisonment
Five years later, or little less, fol-
sentences are leSsened by good behavior
the same attorney was calling on one o
his most important clients, and saw this
same young man at desk in the office
He took a second look, and noticed thai
the young man evaded his gaze. The
lawyer passed into another room, and
having transacted his business, returned
TO his own offices.
He was much disturbed, and doubtful
concerning his own duty. Should he
tell his client that this man had been in
prison? He did not like to do it. On
the other hand, he knew that the bus
mess of the firm was such that it was in
the power OF clerk in the office to dc
great harm if he should so choose.
After much reflection, he called the
next day, and again entered the inner Of
flee.
"Mr. Jackson" he asked, "do you
know much about this clerk OF yours ?"
"a know all about him." answered Mr..
Jackson. "What do you know ?"
Nothing that shall tell to any one,
since you know" said the lawyer.
"WelI, then, will tell you that he told
me all about it. He came to the city, as
so many men do when they have served
their time. He could find nothing to do.
He tried one or two places, and got work
in one; but the other employees discover
ed his history, and he was out OF a job
within week.
"He saw my sign, and happened to re-
member my speaking alta Sunday-SchooI
convention where he was present. He
reminded me that had said God is al
ways ready TO givea man another chance
and he put it upto me to say whether
held to the same principle. | hated to
risk him, considering the nature OF my
business, but put him on the payroll
| can't be as good as God, but try, al
least, to practise what | preach"
The pathetic thing about this story is
that the young man did not prove true
He betrayed his trust this time as he had
done before. In less than year he alb
seconded with money belongingto his en-
ploYer'S harm.
The employer died not long ago. Many
good things were said about him in print
and some reservations we're made also
But his lawyer, now judge, said this oi
him:
"He had his faults, but he was good
man. have always remembered eS-
peciaIly that when that young man had
betrayed him, and asked, Are you Sor-
ry you trusted him2' he answered, q
would rather be wronged hundred times
trying to help man up than fail once to
assist the man who is earnestly striving
to find in what way God is going to give
him another chance.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24

II may be that the feat attributed to the
plumber in the subioined anecdote IRON
Answers is impossible outside the realms
of the imagination, but within them it is a
singularly pleasing achievement - for
every one but the family on whom it was
practiSed.
"Youre wanted" said the small boy.
"Who wants me p" demanded the
plumber.
Number l37-the house you've lus'
come FROM"
.'Do they think can work all hours oI
the day?" retorted the plumber.
"You'd better come," persisted the
small boy, stoutly, "or it'll be too late
Mas got Mysteries, and pas gone nearly
mad, and ="
"Look here, sonny" asked the plumb
er, "wtats up?"
"Well, | think you've connected the
wrong pipes, or something" replied the
boy. "Anyhow, the chandelier in the
parlor is spraying like a fountain, and the
bathroom taps on fireP'
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24

A new porter was being indicted into
Office at the Ritz-Carlton and had been
the butt of all sorts of fun, good natured
and otherwise. Therefore when an i'm
porant man from Boston telephoned
downstairs TO know when tlie Merchants
Limited would get in the porter chortlec
with glee as he thought this was the time
when he would get even with somebody
for the indignities put upon him.
at gets in after the engine, you oooo !
he shouted into the receiver. IT took
lot of diplomacy to smooth that Bostonlar
down and keep the porters job for him
New York Sun.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24

A story is told OF Rangely Lake guide
who, while working on log drive, ell
into the wafer.
He struggled for a while, and at last,
dizzy and nearly exhausted, managed TO
grasp big log and hold 10 il.
The current was so strong and swift
that it carried his body under the log, un-
Ill his feet stuck out on the other side.
Just as a comrade grasped him by the
shoulders he caught sight OF his own feet
protruding on the other side OF the log
"a can hold on a BIZ longerl" he gasped.
"Save the poor fellow that's in head
first, il you can"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24
Loss of Time Means Loss of Pay,

Kidney trouble and the ills il breeds
means lost time and lost pay 10 many a
working man. NJ. Balent. l2l4 Little
Penna St, Streator, Ill.,, was so bad from
kidney and bladder trouble that he could
not work, but he says: 81 took Foley
Kidney Pills for only short time and got
entirely we'll and was soon able TO 90
back 10 work, and am feeling well and
healthier than before" Foley Kidney
Pills are tonic in action, quick in results
"a good friend TO the working man or
woman who suffers from kidney ills.
Sold by ]. H. Hill.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1911-08-24

"Why do you have those glass cases
with the ak, hammer. crowbar, and so
forth. on these cars?% asked a traveller
on the railroad going to New York.
"Oh, those are put there in case any
one wants window open," replied the
facetious man.