The Lamar register., 1911-05-17


favor. hut = condition that he would
never aiudr to the trick he had played
Heirlooms.
Fair Sbe-I have my mothers haiI
and teeth. Unkind He IL m; left you
them. ! suppose!-pele Mele.
The Right Time.
when shall take the sleeping pow
der. DOCTOR: We'll. about fifteen min
utes before you 20 To sleep" Exchange
Her Fault.
certain Scotch professor was left
a widower in his old age. Not very
long after he suddenly announced his
intention OF marrying again. half apoi
ogetically. adding. Il never would
have thought of 1t II Lizzie hadn't
died. "-Harper's Magazine.
Stirring Him Up.
Husband iy physiciau tells me |
must have .omptete change of scene
/ don't know hut IN have to run over
TO Eur'.le.
wife That isn't necessary. dear:
Just take day of and help me on my
shopping.
Sarcastic.
Exasperated Learner ito caddie,-
Why are you dragging that lump OF
turf all over the llnksf
The Caddie-I thocht that after
the trouble ye had diggin' II up we
MIGHT like tue tax II name tae practice
on.-London TitBits.
A Real Heroine.
what Is your idea Of heroine.
UNh ba xtff nf hnlnnt
as she looked up from the novel she
was reading
"a heroine. my dear" answered
John. 'is woman who could talk
back. but doesn't"
A Popular Hero.
my hero Is cutting up So" said the
new author. "he Is running away with
my story"
Fine exclaimed the critic. 81
know the verdict Of your readers will
be We would not call him back
again. '"-Atlanta Constitution
Expert at IT,
TownIey-Ihis paper says that one
of those idiotic colleges is going to
make Senator Boodler a doctor of
laws
.
enough He doctors the laws every
time he gets a chance Exchange.
Hard to Move In Russia.
An American wished to move from
the principal hotel In st. Petersburg to
Q smaller hotel around the corner. He
came down with his bag packed ready
to go. Sorry" said the manager. but
you cannot leave this hotel or register
at another ,otel until we get your pass
port from the police. and that will take
day and night You must 20
through exactly the same procedure as
U you wer. leaving the country"
A Marrow Escape.
Il near mad scrap this morning.
confided a slender young lawyer whom
you wouldn't suspect Of being bellig-
erent
who with we asked with no re-
gard for grammar.
Jimmie Sauiggs I guess | spoke
hastily to nlm. Anyhow. he got the
idea that ! wanted To- lick him"
We'll what did he do;"
He took u On the run. Honest. he
did three locks IN about twelve sec
onds before could say word q"
That's going some for big man
like Squiggs
"Aln't u And II didn't do him a
bit OF good was a half block ahead
of him every step OF the way."-Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
Simplicity Of Ia Fontaine.
Apropos of the simple. philosophical
In Fontaine | either read OF heard
touching trait of his simplicity. He
was wise enough to despise money and
spent all he had from not knowing Its
value or caring for Its production
When reduced to nothing he lived with
friend who loved him and supplied
the very few wants he had. This
/ friend died. One who had known Ia
Fontaine at his house immediate y
went to invite him to come and live
with him. He met la Fontaine on the
road to his chateau. and upon hearing
the Invitation the poet replied. ny
ALIAS CT was going there. The nal
vete OF his reply is very striking. From
l adr ualIapAIs Journal