davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
THE NEWS OF MADDEN

Madden, Jan. 16.--The year of 1910
mas been numbered with the past
ana we have commenced with the new.
We should make some promises and
tnen carry them out Everybody seems
to be In good spirits and will start
ont with renewed energy to look for
ward to good crop from which they
rope to get living price, which is
all that the farmers want.
The Milan brothers, Charles of
camden and Blnmc and Henry, bought
the league farm two or three years
ago and have been renting it until
this year. Today they went to Iau-
yens and bought some of those mules
at fancy prices TO supply that place
and 1t is safe to say that the league
place Will have good crops if the sea-
sons are alright. When your CORES
pondent came here eighteen years ago.
these boys were little fellows going
TO school at the Orphanage i'm Cim-
ton. r. p. Milan. of Cold Point. being
me only one able to do much work at
hat time. Today these four boys
ran thirteen plows and, it might be
added, none of them drink whiskey
use tobacco or have any other bad
habits, but are men OF high moral
character
On December 18th, Mr. Erett Jacks
AID Miss Allie Bell Fuller were mar
ried at Mountville. On December the
@lst. MIR. James Jacks and Miss Lula
sell Madden We're happily married at
the home OF the brides parents. Mr.
and Mrs. w. w. Madden. Their friends
and acquaintcnces wish these young
people much happiness and prosperi-
~ all the way through life.
Mr. Green Fuller and family will
occupy the league home another year.
Messrs. Pink and Ed Fuller and Mr..
Aus. Ridder and family will occupy
the Smith and Holmes farm These
young men are all good farmers and
good people and hearty welcome is
extended to them.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
A Motorcycle Parade.

The Curbstonc club members
were discussing the speed of motor
cycles when the ancient carpenter,
who had just come in, joined in the
conversation.
"Talking about motorcycles" he
said, 81 took a count Of them in
front of my house the other even
ing.
81 noticed that continual string
of them seemed to be coming by
the place, so I started in counting.
''By the time l had reached 9S7
I made peculiar discovery. I hap
pened to notice by mark Of the
tire of the wheel that it was the
same motorcycle that l had been
tallying.
"The rider went so fast round
and round the block that I mistook
him for a parade. youngstown
Telegram.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
SPENDTHRIFT BALzAc.
Extravasanee OF tho Man Who Had
Mountain Of Debts.

"With Balzac's rising fame rises
the mountain of bis debts" writes
critic. "These, starting from his
two disastrous years of printing and
publishing in Paris, accumulated un-
til at the top of his literary renown
he had to hide from his creditors
in garret under the name of his
landlady OF his washerwoman. In
1887 Balzac, at that date the best
known and the most debated novel
ist in France, owed 162 900 francs
(about $32,500). Then he must needs
buy cane which was the talk of
Paris, some gold buttons for a new
coat, divine opera glass and
dressing gown beyond words and
give dinner to the dandies of tho
opera respecting which Rossini said
that 'he had not seen more mag
nificence when he dincd at royal
tables
"Balzac three times a millionaire
would still have buried himself in
debt, for the mental cxaltation Of
his creative hours was reproduced
when he broke loose from the gal
ley bench. He lavishcd in anticipa-
tion the wealth he had dreamed
would be his. This gone, he bor-
rowcd anew or devised another of
those schemes that were to enrich
him beyond the possibilities of lit
craturc. His schemes were essen
TALLY part of Balzac, the sovcr-
eign, unconquerablc visionary.
Gle would transport oaks from
Poland to Francc-nothing like
oaks from Poland to make your for
tune three times over! Behold him
again gravely working out his plan
to make corner in all the arts and
putting up the Apollo Bclvcdcrc for
competition among the nations
to act as auctioncer to Europc-the
child man., as his devoted sister,
Nine. Survillc, used to call him"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
a Duel In Undross.

Ducling, though not dead, was dy-
ing out even in Rogers time and was
not taken very seriously. The poets
biographer tells the quaint story Of
how Mr., Humphrey Howarth, sur
geon, when called out made his ap.
pearance i'm the field stark naked. The
astonishcd challenger asked him what
he meant. 81 know" said Howarth,
"that If any part Of the clothing is
carried into the body by a gunshot
wound fostering ensues, and therefore
i have met you thus" His antagonist
declared that fighting n man in purls
naturalibus would be quite ridiculous,
and accordingly they parted without
further discussion.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
BLIND TO GOOD LUCK.
Fable of the Weary Farmer and the
Golden Plow.

There was once Benevolent Fairy
who was accustomed to doing Coed
Deeds in Whimsical Ways. One day
she was dying across the country to
attend Il meeting of the A. O. B. f.
when she noticed Farmer laborng in
the Fields. His horse was Attenuated
and Decepit. and his plow was Heavy
and Old Fashioned. Often he would
pause and wipe the sweat from his
brow. Plainly he was having a Hard
Time.
The Benevolent Fairy watched him
a moment and observed his Haggard
Look and his general air Of Misery.
Suddenly an Idea came to her-to
make this man Rich, so that he would
no longer have to delve and struggle
to eke oht Bare Living. So she
swOOped down and touched the plow
with her wand-she was, OF course. in
Yisible-and instantly 1t was changed
to Solid Gold. Then with an amused
but kindly backward glance the Beney-
olent Fairy went on her way.
A year later, remembering the oc-
currence; she few over to see how the
Farmer was enjoying his Good For
tune. She found him I'm the Fields.
plowing laboriously, and II anything
he and his surroundings looked Mean
er and More Miserable than they had
before. Much surprised, the Fairy
flew closer, just In time to hear him
murmur:
~ wish this ding busted plow warn't
SO heavy"
The Benevolent Fairy eyed him Pity
ingly; then she once more touched the
plow with her wand. and 1t again be-
came II thing of wood and iron. Then
she flew away, and the Farmer resnm-
ed his Toll.
After all. are there not some folk
who would die of thirst adrift on a
river2 - Clifton T.. Dowd in Lippin-
cOtt'S
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
Disabled.

In an English camp battalion
was being instructed on how to
take convoy through open coun-
try. One company was told off to
represent a convoy, the men being
instructed that they were to repre-
sent horses, COWS and wagons.
After being halted short time
the advance signal was given, and
the convoy moved on, but the ma
jor noticed that one man continued
to lie down and, galloping up to him
in a rage, said, "Man, why don't
you advance
The soldier replied, "I can't, sir"
Major-You can't? What do
you mean?
'1'm a wagon" said the soldier,
"and Pve got wheel Off"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
Tho Execution.

A cynic had returned from par
ty in Toronto, given by some "new
rich" citizens who were rather os-
tentatious, but not given to the use
of correct English.
"I suppose" said an inquiring
friend, Chat everything was very
swell"
"It was" said the cynical youth,
with yawn. Everything was OBJ
served except the rules of syntax." I"
Exchange.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
COTTON DEPENDS
ON FOREIGN NEWS

New Orleans, Jan. 15.-ln the cot
ton market this week much will de-
pend on the reports from Manchester.
At the close Of last week many trad
ers, representing the more conserva-
tive element on both sides OF the
market, were inclined to take with a
grain OF salt some Of the more opti-
nistic utterances coming from Eng
iish brokers. The suspicion began to
grow that mill men. merchants and
cotton operators we're engaged In spe-
collation. on huge scale In both cot
ton and cotton goods. The feeling
that some of the accounts of the enor-
nous business being done by Eng
iish mills were exaggerated was
strengthened by cable messages from
houses that are not strongly bullish
stating that business was showing
signs OF halting.
Want Real News.
The first thing this week the trade
VIII try to get line on the real
situation in England and the new
news received may form the basis of
price movement either way.
On Tuesday, representatives of
Southern mills will have a confer
ence to talk over the matter of cur
tailment, The cotton trade has not
been inclined to take this talk OF cur
Gslrheht very seriously because 1t has
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
Patent Leather Shoes.

Before putting on patent leather
shoes always rub the surface os the
vamp briskly with the warm palm
of the hand, thus softening the shoe
and rendering it less liable to crack.
Many patent leather boots cracklo
al over the first time they arc worn
when this prccaution might prevent
the accident. Another method is
the gradual warming of the shoe,
and it must always be remembered
that shiny shoes are never kept in
cold places.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
He Couldn't Sec.

Little jacks father was the
teacher of the Sunday school class
of which Jack was a new member.
He had been told that as this was
his first Sunday he would not be
asked any questions, but he must
pay close attention just the same.
SO on the way home his father
asked him who it was who killed
Goliath.
"I don't know. 1 was sitting on
the back seat and couldn't sec,"
was the ready answer.-National
Monthly.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
License Fees for Hawkcrs and Ped
dlers in Laurens County for tn,
Year 4. ID. 1911.
State of South Carolina.
County OF LaurenS.

BY virtue OF an Act of the General
Assembly of South Carolina provid-
ing therefor; Be it resolved by the
Board OF County Commissioners of
Laurens County. in the State of South
Carolina. in regular annual meeting
assembled; That the license fees to
be paid by hawkers and peddlers doing
business within said county during
the year a. ID. 1911 be and the same
are hereby fixed i'm the following
amounts, to wit:
For peddlers of merchandise, on
foot, Fifteen Dollars; Peddlers of
merchandise in one horse wagon Fif-
~ Dollars; Peddlers of merchandise
i'm two horse wagons. Seventy Dollars:
For peddlerS of stoves or ranges. for
the first wagon Seventy Dollars. and
Tor each additional wagon operated
by the same firm, Fiity Dollars. For
peddlers OF clocks, for the first wagon
Fifty Dollars. and for each additional
wagon Thirty Dollars: For peddlers
of lightning rods, Twenty Dollars for
the first wagon, and'Ten Dollars for
each additional wagon. For peddlers
of spectacles, on foot, Seven Dollars
and Fifty cents; peddlers of specta-
cles in vehicle. Fifteen Dollars; Ped
dlers of sewing machines, Fifty Dol
lars for the first wagon. and for each
additional wagon Thirty Dollars: For
peddlers OF pianos or organs. for each
one horse wagon Eighty Dollars. and
for each two horse wagon, One Hun
dred and Twenty Dollars. All Ii
censes VIII be issued by the Clerk
OF Court of said county to be of force
and effect until the 3ist day of De-
cember, "A. ID. 1911, as provided by
law
Done in regular annual meeting at
l'aurens. s. c., this 5th day of January
A. ID. 1911
Attest: III. b. Humbert
MeSser Babb Supervisor.
CLERK or the Board. 25-4t
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
FORGOT THE KEY.
Then the Loeksmish Showed Him How
TO opon tho Door.

When Mr. and Mrs. Eastend started
out to spend the evening In pursuance
OF an engagement they paused on the
front steps long enough for Mrs. e.
to PROFOUND the usual query, Have
you got the key, dear?"
"Yes. guess so." said Mr.. e. "Wait
minute. No, haven't, either. What
do you think of that? Must have left
1t on the dresser"
"Well, here's pretty how-de.dor
exclaimed Mrs. T.. as her consort saw
agely but fruitlessly rummaged his
pockets. "How are we going to get in
to get it!"
Hubby first tried the lower windows.
to find them all carefully locked.
Neighbors awoke to the situation and
began to be helpful.
"Get ladder" said one.
Get n jimmy" said another.
Get an acroplane," said II third.
Various other eXpedients. ranging
from dcrricks to dynamite, were sug-
gested. Finally one neighbor brought
ladder which wouldn't reach the
second story windows by six feet. 1t
""S 'S~SSSSu lhpI thC hiC ucpult-
ment be Summoned. Rejected.
BY this time the engagement had to
be called Off, and the remarks Mrs. Il.
was making to the female contingent
of the asscmblage will not here be re-
corded. AS n last resort locksmith
was suggested, and Mr.. e. departed in
search Of one. AT the end Of an hour
he returned with stolid looking Ger
man bearing an armful OF tools.
"Nlch toor?' he inquired.
"This one" said Mrs. e., "and for
goodness sake don't Jimmy it nor dy-
Mantle 1t unless you have to-"
dots all righd," grunted the work
man. Then he extended his hand and
tried the knob 1t turned The catch
had not caught. The door swung
open. He turned and gave the assem-
blagc an expressive glance.
And now when Mr.. and Mrs. e.
leave their little home of an evening
some neighbor is sure to stick his head
out of window and kindly inquire.
"Have YOU got the kcS?"-Pittsburg
GaZctte-TimeS
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
Provaricator,

The word prevaricator is from
the Latin and originally meant a
straddler with distorted or mis-
shapen legs. In the Roman courts
of law the expression was applied to
one who in a suit was discovered to
be in collusion with his opponent
to compass some dishonesty. AS
falsehood was the necessary part of
such performance, the word by
and by came to have the signif-
canoe at present attached to it.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
500 Reward. 500.

The readers Of this paper will be
pleased to learn that there is at least
oBe dreaded disease that science has
been able to cure in all it's stages. and
that is Catarrh Halls Catarrh Cure
is the only positive cure now known
to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being a constitution disease. re-
Quires constitutional treatment
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internal
ly. acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces OF the system, there
by destroying the foundation OF the
disease, and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitu-
tion and assisting nature In doing its
work. The proprietors have so much
faith I'm its curative powers that they
offer One Hundred Dollars for amy
case that Ii fails to cure. Send for
list of testimonials
Address: f. j. Cheney e. Co., Toledo,
o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for Con-
stipation.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
HOW TO OWN THE
OLIVER TYPEWRITER
FOR nc A DAY.

You don't have to draw on your
Bank Account when you pay on the
Penny Plan.
You need not disturb your Dollars.
Keep them mt work earning interest!
We offer our newest model, the
Oliver Typewriter No. 5-fresh from
the factory-for Sev"H,een Cents
Day.
The plan is printed in "black and
white" on the Application Blank
below.
Simply fill out the blank, attach
the small first payment, send it in,
and OH comes the Oliver!
No tedious wait. No red tape!
No long drawn-out correspondence!
You quickly own your oliver and
scarcely notice the outlay. You can
have the use of your machine while
pennies are paying the freight"
You will never have better chance
to test the power of pennies.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
England and Lotteries.

The London Chronicle calls Eng
land "a nation of gamblers" 1t
points out that Westminster bridge
was built on the proceeds of a lot
terry. But so solemn an institution
as the British museum was founded
upon II basis of gambling in 1888.
"A sum of 100000 was raised by a
lottery authorized by special act
of parliament. The money was
spent principally in buying the mu-
scum and collection of Sir Hans
Soanc, the IIarlcian collection of
manuscript and Montague House,
Bloomsbury, then the mansion of
the Earl Of Halifax. And the gam
bic bought house big enough to
contain the British museum for
many years"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
FLEET DusKY PETE.
Tho Nag Responsible For the Ex.
preston a Ozark Horse."

pFoeeion u bark fioSeo.
Here is the real story of the
clark horse:" 1t came down to the
son of man, who had it from his
father, who in turn got it from his
father, and so on back to a time
when there lived in Tennessee a
shrewd old chap named Sam Flynn.
He was by way of being about the
cunningest horse trader in his state
and generally contrived to have in
his stable a nag or two that could
go along some. These he used for
racing purposes, particularly when
he CHANGED upon town where
there was sporting blood in the
course Of his travels.
Flynn finally picked up in a swap
black horse which he called Dusky
Pete. The horse was close to a
thoroughbred, and the shrcwd horse
trader was not long in making the
discovery that he was something of
a marvel in speed. But this fact
he cunningly kept to himself. He
roughcd up the horses coat and
made him look as little as possible
like the real wonder that he was in
race.
Once he had got Dusky Pete to a
point where he looked the part of
a horse vagabond, Flynn quietly
rode him into town one fine day,
where rustic race meet was in
progress. Dusky Pete merely look
cd like 'likcly hoss" for swapping
purposes. Pretending to be inno-
cent of everything connected with
racing, Flynn entered his horse in
one of the events. The village
sports took his bait to man. They
backed two or three of the local
flicrs against Dusky Pete for every
dollar they could beg and borrow.
The old horse trader moved
around in the crowd and took ev-
cry bet that was offered, most of
them being at big odds against his
horse. Just as the horses were be-
ing saddlcd for the race old Judge
McAlinamcc, the turf oracle of that
part Of Tennessee, turned up at the
track and was Immediately Impress
cd into service as one of the racing
judges.
AS he took his place in the judges
stand he was told how the betting
odds had been going and of the
presence of the old horse trader
who was SO foolish as to think his
nag could beat the local cracks. The
oracle was also informed that Flvnn
had taken all bets offered against
his horse.
AT that Judge McNIinamee ran
his eye over Dusky Pete and in
stantly recognized the veteran racer
under his ruff1ed coat of long hair
as an old campaigncr.
"Gentlcmen," quoth the wise
judge, "thcrc's dark horse in this
race that will make some of you
look sick before supper"
He was right. The dark horse
lay back till the three-quarter pole
had been reached and then went
to the front with a rush, taking the
race with ridiculous ease and clean
ing out the pockets of all the vii
lage sports.
And from this humble origin
comes so great an institution of
modern times as the dark horse
New York Times.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
DeGnito.

"Madam"-a census taker was speak
ing to her who answered his knock
"how many children over six and un.
der twenty-one years or age have
you"
"Lemme see," she reflected; "lemme
see. Waal. sir, thar be two over six
an two under twenty-one."-Eve
bodY's.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
PROPOSITIONS.

A correspondent of the New York
Sun says he overheard the following:
"The boys came out from over in be-
tween those houses" Here are FIVE
propositions in bunch. Can this
record" be broken?
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
Your oeeupat;on.

Every occupation lifts itself with the
eDlarging life of him who practices IT,
The occupation that will not do that
no man really has a right to occupy
himself out.-Phillips Brooks.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
APPLICATION BLANK.
The Oliver Typewriter Co.

Gentlemen:-I accept your offer
OF the latest model No. 5 Oliver
Standard Typewriter for Seventeen
Gents a Day. Enclose please find
$f5 as evidence of good faith.
agree to save II cents a day and
remit the balance, $S5, in month
~ installments. Title to remain
in your name until the machine
is fully paid for.
Name
i'"S '''''''''....'.....
Io"n ....,...... State .......
References
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
Stop Scratching

Par-a-sit-i-cide cures itch and
mango in 80 minutes. Pimples
and Ringworms quickly. Price
SOC at
LAURENS DRUG co.
ooc by mail or express from
DR.. L. ]. Sharp & Co., Commerce,
Ga. Guaranteed. "Take no
substitute"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1911-01-18
OLIVER
TlpeMri+Ssr
The Standard Visible Writer

''f"'rN FISIUIC WTItVT
You need your Oliver now It's yours
almost for the asking. The biggest
hund. ed dollars worth in America
for Seventeen Cents Day!
Send along the Application Blank,
with small first payment of SIS as
an evidence of good faith.
Your check is good--or send draft.
postofhce or express money order
THE OLIVER TYPEWRITER co.
The Oliver Typewriter Bldg.
Chicago. Illinois.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-09-15
Citizens Literary Society.

The executive committee OF the Git
zens' Literary Society Of New Hope
have about completed their arrange.
menis for the coming season. The
| season tickets have been over sub
scribed. Their delivery will begin
ON Monday. Sept. 18Th, The course
for this year promises to be the best
ever given by the Society. 1t will be
| opened on October 10 with q lecture
by DIR. Roland Dwight Grant and will
be followed by "BilI Bone" "The
Fisher Shipp Concert Company, F"
1.-THE Davault Entertainment Com.
pany." "The Chicago Ladies' Or
ohestra."
Two extras have been arranged for,
Miss Jeanette Turner Broomell ON
October o and Edmund Vance Cook
on Jan. nth. This will be Miss
Broomell's fourth appearance In New
Hope aud no other entertainer 10 30
popular with our patrons. This time
she will be assisted by Mrs. Helen
Reed Alexander, Harpist aud by
Mr.. Henry Guruey. Tenor. Mrs.
Alexander travelled with Miss Broom.
oil for three years and is a hsrpist OF
long experience OF exceptional ability.
Mr.. Quincy is recognized by must
cal experts as being one OF the very
best tenors OF Philadelphia. He has
just returned from Italy where he has
spent several years singing and study
ing. This combination will present
one OF the finest programs ever rem
dered in this vicinity. Tickets for
this entertainment will be offered
when the course tickets are returned.
The committee feel warranted in say
ing that IL given full support by the
people they can secure the very best
talent in the land and still only
charge the uniform price OF 90 cents.
Ii they lose on the two splendid extras
arranged for there will be no more.
II you were to hear either OF these IN
any other town you would pay SOC.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-09-15
Lambertvile Heat Light and Power

The Trent Theatre has very well
come surprise for its patrons during
the coming week. 1t is no other than
the return engagement of "Nonnette"
the Gypsy Violinist. who had all
Trenton talking about her when she
was here a few months ago. Although
modestly heralded, this young woman
came aud as feature Of big bill,
before "a hours people were coming
in inquiriDg what time she went on.
To say that she was hit would DO
putting it mildly. Nonnette just re-
turned from Europe few weeks ago
after very successful season in the
Music Halls abroad. Associated with
her on this bill is the Roberty Trio,
a picturesque Dancing Act, which
has been very successful since coming
to this country about three months
ago. The Frey Twins, Roman
Wrestlers, will also contribute to
your entertainment. While Arthur
Pickens aud company will appear in
comedy sketch entitled "Billie." The
rest Of the bill contains many strong
comedy features making the whole
show an even and we'll balanced one.