Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1911-11-02
DOING THE
IMPOSSIBLE


enough TO drive any one crazy the
way people promise things and then
don't DO them" (To her son. aged
twelve. who has been pressed into
service under protest) Tommy, you'll
have to 20 over to Mrs. Smiths and
get those table cloths. We positive
ly can't wait to get the tables any
longer, for people may begin to come
as early as half past eleven They
always do, you know, II you don't ex,
pect them and don't want them.
Tommy-Can't / telephone, mother.
and ask her If she's got them ready
Chairman (frmly)-No, Tommy,
you can't, want you to 60 and get
them. Bring them back with you. you
understand
Tommy-Aw. say. mother. why
can't I telephone?
Chatrman-Because say you can't
Now hurry up, because we must have
those cloths right away.
Tommy (stArting for the door,
Say. mother. I'm going 10 get Harry
to 80 with me. Can I. mother?
Chairman with decision)-No. you
can't. Itil take too long.
Tommy-Aw. mother, why can't II
II won't take q minute to call for
him. Please, mother, can't I?
ChairmAn-No. Tommy. II you say
another word I'll have your father
whip you whom he oomes home.
(TOmmy disappears mutterihg.)
Chairman-Now, l wonder where
Miss Parks ID With the spoons she
promised. She almost went down on
her knees to promise that she would
be hero at nine o'clock, and its half
past ten now. declare, l never will
have anything to do with a church
luncheon again. Nobody seems to
think It makes any difference whether
she does what she says she will or
not. I'm sure Pm Just about distract
ed with It ali. l wonder where Miss
Parks can be with those spoons!
Miss Parks (entering hastily oh,
Mrs. Burton. I'm so sorry don't know
what to do, but l couldn't get but a
dozen Of those spoons. I've been b;,l-
lying everybody know to try 10
make them lend me spoons. I'll start
out on another trip right away, and
I'll surely bring you two dozen this
time. Mr. Henlow has some friends
who he thinks will lend us some and
he's going to take me to see them. so
/ mustn't wait minute.
Chairman-That's the last she'll
ever think about spoons-I can count
on that, at least That's the worst Of
having a young bachelor for a rec
tor. I'm sure I'll be glad when Mr.
Henlow gets married and the girls
begin to think about something else.
(The door opens and handsomely
dressed woman, followed by maid
carrying parcel, enters)
Handsomely Dressed Woman-How
do you do, Mrs. Burton? Put the
things down, Christine, and then hur-
ny home. I've brought the cake I
promised you, Mrs. Burton, but the
other things weren't ready, so you'll
have to send for them later
Chairman (distractedly)-But
haven't soul to send, Mrs. Porter,
ana l don't know how on earth I'll
ever get things ready Half the
things haven't come yet. It's always
the way! I'll never have anything 10
do with a church luncheon again.
always have all the work to do, and
then If things go wrong everybody
blames me.
Mrs Porter (soothingly)-Well, Of
course, when people aren't able to do
much financially I always take it for
granted that they are glad of the OPP
portunity to do all they can in other
ways. I'm really awfully sorry
can't let Christine stay with you and
help as l promised, but l have a guest
who is coming unexpectedly for
luncheon and my other maid is i'll and
unable to do anything. Christine can
come after luncheon and help clear
the things away.
Chairman (acidly)-No, don't.
think trying TO get people 10 90 what
they say they'll do is the hardest
part II | ever am foolish enough to
undertake anything like this again
Mrs. Porter (unperturbed)- I
dare say 1t is trying, but things al
ways straighten themselves out. The
principal thing is not to allow ones
self to become excited. Now l must
go, but I'll certainly try to send
Christine around this afternoon AS
for the other things l promised, I'm
sure you can find somebody to send
for them. You're 80 resourceful.
(Goes out.)
Chairman (wildly)-Oh. I could
choke that woman!
During the next half hour there is
a succession of telephone excuses for
things not forthcoming and kaleido.
scopic procession of people bringing
provisions or explanations for not
bringing provisions. At the end of
the time the chairman is almost in
Mysteries When Tommy enters with
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