Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1911-11-03
A KANGAROO COURT.
The Loss of 20 Ducks Intended For
A Sunday Feast Called For a
Special Term.

TO an auto III lTOuU VI uIlc LNuuolph
Hotel last Saturday night, with in
tent to defraud a game dinner party
out of a glorious feast, and the prop
erty of Charles Seely, 2. S. Pickett,
Ben Summerwill and Il. }. NC
Dermott, and the complainants ask
and demand ample and complete pun
ishment for the larcenOuS action OF
one who had no fear of future punish
ment.
Attorney for the defense, A. B.
Carlson.
Attorney for the gentlemen who
suffered the loss of a duck dinner, A.
r. Jameson.
Proceed with the case" said the
court.
MAY it please your kangaroo Ma
jesty," began the prosecuting attor-
new. whose oratorical effort was cut
short.
Il object" said Mr.. Carlson.
ITO what do you Object?" said Mr..
Jameson.
Il object to the language Of the
state. We are not here to be hangar
rood or kangarooied, your honor. we
came to be heard in justification OF
the alleged removal Of ducks that
we're denied The God given right to
freedom on the wing. These alleged
ducks were brutally murdered while
seeking a southern home and happi-
ness. They were taken with a chris
tian hope and purpose that they
might yet be able to wend their
winged way to the southland, but
vain hope, they were actually dead,
yes sir. dead, and nv heart weaps in
for the victims OF mans
unerring aim and duck loving stom-
achs. The ducks being dead and re-
moved from captivity this defendant
felt that to return them would be an
act of cruelty, so he distributed them
unfortunaUes who never hunt
and couldn't hit a railroad water
tank if they tried, and
May it please the court. | would
suggest that the court" said the
state,
ono suggestions are permitted in
this court" said the kangaroo chief,
with some warmth.
CAS- | was about to remark" said
the counsel for the defense, "We came
not here seeking mercy or a straw
bond for our appearance. We expect
no mercy from a Kangaroo court be-
cause it's a frame up deal
"Attorney Carlson is fined $50 for
contempt of court. Proceed with
YOUR address and be careful" said the
court, gazing sternly at the counsel.
81 appeal from the decision of the
court. The whole darned business
isn't worth $50" said Mr.. Carlson.
"No appeals in this court, sir, pro-
coed or | shall double the amount"
Attorney Carlson had some ex-
perience in college days with kanga-
roo courts but the Canton sample was
a little stiff. After consulting with
the defendant he began.
MAY it please this honorable and
distinguished court" (The court
smiles.) "If IL we're proven to this
court that the defendant was once
robbed of a goodly number of ducks,
dead ducks, by n of the complain
ing witnesses, would it make any diff
ference with your decision?"
IIIS .-.-lA nnrtf a m ~ m q ~ C91N
the court. "Proceed.'
SIN that case your honor, we came
here fully prepared to fight this case
to the bitter end, but looking into
your calm and beautiful eyes, l an
convinced that your sympathetic
heart is beating in unison with the
hopes of this defendant, and be
lieving that we have Coopered the
case we stand ready to plead guilty
"What case have you Cooperedy
demanded the court sternly.
SIT was only a figure Of speech youl
honor. | sometimes use the term ad'
| visedly, but not in this case. Had
said that l had Coopered Cooper ant
run a graft upon the court, and won
| victory, you might have called mt
down, but l assure you Coopered hae
reference to a court where a man cal
expect justice, if he stole a mule"
81 object to his effort to horn-swog
gle the COURT" said the state.
"No man a horn-swoggle me,
said the court, land if the Attorne
for the prosecution makes any NOR
breaks I'll hand him a $50 nugget 10
contempt. What is the plea?"
eve plead guilty to removing tn
ducks, not stealing, may 1T please tn
court, and if our plea is not accepted
call your witness and We'll stay her
till something freezes over
Attorney Jameson consulted Be
Summerwill, the complaining witness
Eyes," said Ben, in a whisper, "de
mand a duck dinner or $50 fine"
"We are ready to accept the plea {
guilty, your honor, and rely on tn
court for a square DEAL" said tn
state.
By the court. The prisoner befor
this time honored and highly respect
ed court, will provide a fresh will
duck dinner to the com planning wi
ness and his friends, not to exceed 2
IN oil and failure To so provide wi