davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
MISSOURI NEWS
GIVES ADVICE ABOUT EGGS.
Campaign Begun to Keep Up Quality
Standard in Missouri.

Columbia.-Dr. w. P. Cutler. state
food and drug commissioner. is mail
ing circular letters to egg dealers
throughout the state, containing infor-
nation Of value to both the egg dealer
and the farmer who markets this prod
uct. This letter is me step in the
campaign Doctor Cutler has inaugu-
rated to abolish traffic in eggs unfit
for food.
The circular says, in part:
"You should be careful to see that
laying hens are kept away from sit
ting hens.
"All eggs in hidaway nests, like
strawstacks, under logs and in the
weeds, are likely to be musty, rotten
or otherwise unfit for food.
Incubator eggs are always unfit for
food, and the sale of them is illegal.
"Plenty of clean, dry nests should
be provided.
Eggs should be gathered daily in
cool weather, and twice a day in hot
or rainy weather.
do not wash eggs; use the dirty
and small eggs at home.
Keep your eggs in a cool, dry
place that is free from odors.
Market your eggs daily if possible;
If not, every other day. Keep the
eggs out of the sun when taking to
town.
"Oil, onions and other strong odors
contaminate eggs.
"Shut your ROSTERS up, or eat them,
or sell them after June /; your eggs
will be the better for it.
"If the farmer will obey these In
structions 1t will be money in his
! pocket, and Missouri eggs will com.
mand a better price in the market.
Merchants who ship lose eggs by
keeping them under the counter.
"1n the summer time eggs should be
| shipped every day.
IF you buy rots with good eggs
keep them apart, as the rots will spoil
the good ones.
BEST candle them, and be done with
ft1
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
PUNCHING HIS HARD LUCK
Sufferer From Toothache Summoned
Philosophy to His Aid During
Period Of Trouble.

Philosophers are not all dead yet"
said the dentist. II met one this
morning who knocked me out of two
hours work on a day when l have
nothing to do anyhow, and will make
me work overtime tomorrow. when l
shall be crowded with engagements,
He was bowling with a toothache.
Better come around and have it at
tended to-" l said.
Cant do it today" he said, "Tm too
busy"
But you can't work when you are
crazy with the toothache?" l argued.
"Oh, yes ! can" said he. There
are half a dozen other things / want
done to me that hurt pretty bad, and
If I have them done when my tooth
is OF the rampage they won't seem so
bad, because one hurt will neutralize
the other. l always take advantage
of a toothache to dispatch those dis
agreeable jobs"
Maybe not many people could
stand that kind of philosophy, but ap-
parently that man is going to get
away with It."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
What Was She Wearing?

The new fireman was telling his
wife about the fire.
at broke out at midnight in the
Won Differs house on the avenue" he
said, "and just as we got there Miss
Won Biffer came stumbling out of the
flames and smoke carrying her little
niece all wrapped up in her arms. II
was the bravest act / yer saw"
What was she wearing?" inquired
the fireman's wife.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
C~HEERFULNESS AIDS SICK

largely brought on through fear, or
some other wrong thinking and the
cure worked by the suggestive inHu.
ence Of n persons mind over an.
others.
Even If these functional diseases
are purely imaginary, they cause the
patient as much pain and incapaci.
tates him as much for work as any OF.
ganic disease. 1t Is d physician,a
duty to heal the sick, whether 1t IL d
sick body OF a sick mind. Physical
disorders need physical treatment. but
mental disorders need mental treat.
ment. "A physician who would neglect
the mind while treating the body
would not be doing his full duty
Probably few movements in the his
tory Of mankind have been or more VI
tai Significance than that now on foot
In America to put psychotheraphy to
effective Use And it is largely tc
physicians that the world now owes
the usefulness Of psychotherapby, for
they have had a vast lot to do with
bringing 1t to the place II now holds
lin science.-Woman's World.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Many Ills Contracted Through Fear.
and Cure is Often Effected by In
fiuence Of Another Person.

L. |EfA
A famous physician n c said that
over half Of all who call In the doc
tor would get well without any medi-
cine if the doctor only keeps them
cheerful. that many Of the remaining
half needed only a bare pill-their Inn
agination would do the rest.
Imaginary Ills, or Ills produced by
the power Of the mind, often battle
physicians, We all know how some
people In reading patent medicine lit
erature become seized with all the
symphonic they find described. And
1t is largely In the cases of people like
these that patent medicines have
wrought their cures. for no q can
dispute that many imaginative people
have felt beneficial effects from such
nostrums.
It Is largely IN imaginary ills sim
iiar to those / have mentioned that
mental science has worked Its good
u has also effected cures In ills other
than imaginary, but the sickness was
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Uncle Johns Sense Of Humor
By RUBY BAUcHMAN


Margaret was toiling along through
the Los Angeles chamber of COM
merce behind her two prosaic kinfolks.
Like the humming drone of his own
threshing machine, Uncle John prosed
ver silly statistics and poky pro-
cesses. She vas half-gigglingly COM
menting to herself as she tagged dog
gedly along after Aunt Eliza's amply
constructed, black broad-clothed form,
that Uncle John ought to be prosecuted
for bigamy, on the ground that he had
two times as much wife as he had
when he first married, when she dis
covered two grey eyes, under a broad
hat brim, answering her chuckles with
wrinkly wrinkles.
The naughty disdain which she duti-
fully tried to spread over her amuse-
ment fell before the good-natured ap-
probation of her need Of a relief ex-
petition. She bowed, tentatively and
reservedly. The hat lifted in a most
dignified acknowledgement and it's
owner advanced, holding out his right
hand. Margaret placed her brown
glove within his reach. with the affirm
alton:
Il am very glad to meet you here,
very glad to see you again." in answer
to Aunt Eliza's backward look Of In
quiry. The aunt's exclamation at
tracted the attention of Uncle John.
Margaret led her new-found friend
up to her guardians.
q am glad to introduce to you a
very old friend from Iowa. This is my
uncle and aunt, with whom l am
, spending my summer vacation, Mr..
Livingston"
Aunt Eliza only exclaimed again,
aloud, and started to say that which
Uncle John interrupted by an en-
phatic wave of his big capable-looking
arm.
Il am delighted to know you, Mr..
Livingston; delighted to know you"
Then taking an observation of the
young mans evident intention to fall
back in step with the niece, he
reached forward firmly for the young
mans arm, pulling him into step.
IF you are from the middle west,
most OF our agricultural processes and
products will be new and interesting
to you. Now. here is" and begin
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

PRESCRlBES
CUTlCURA REMEDIES

Il wish to let you know of q couple
Of recent cures which l have made
by the use of the Cuticura Remedies.
Last August, Mr.. - of this city
came to my office, troubled with a
severe skin eruption. 1t was dermatitis
in its worst form. 1t started with a
slight eruption and would affect most
parts of his body, thighs, elbows,
chest, back and abdomen-and would
terminate in little pustules. The itch
ing and burning was dreadful and he
would almost tear his skin apart, try
ing to get relief. I recommended all
the various treatments | could think
of and he spent about fifteen dollars
on prescriptions, but nothing seemed
to help him.
I'm the meantime my wife, who
was continually suffering with a slight
skin trouble and who had been try
ing different prescriptions and meth
DDS with my assistance, told me she
was going to get some Of the Cuticura
Remedies and give them a fair trial.
But as I did not know much about
Cuticura at that time I was doubtful
whether 1t would help her. Her skin
would thicken, break and bleed, es-
pecially on the fingers, wrists and
arms. / could do nothing to relieve
her permanently. When she first ap.
piled the warm baths of Cuticura
Soap and applications of Cuticura
Ointment she saw a decided improve
ment and in a few days she was com
pletely cured.
II lost no time in recommending
the Cuticura Remedies to Mr.. ,
and this was two months ago. I told
him to wash with warm baths Of the
Cuticura Soap and to apply the Cuti-
cura Ointment generously. Believe
me, from the very first days use Of
the Cuticura Remedies he was greatly
relieved and today he is completely
cured through their use. / have great
faith in the Cuticura Remedies and
shall always have a good word for
them now that I am convinced OF
their wonderful merits" (Signed) B.
L. Whitehead, M. D., 1903 Dartmouth
st., Boston, Mass, July 20, 1910.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
An Unlaureled Hero.

Here is a niche In the Hall of Fame
for Seth A. Eaton, a rural mail car
rier from the Middleboro postof1ce,
who, surrounded by woodland fire, his
horse lying on the ground stifled with
smoke, his own hair singed, his hat
burned and one side of his face and
hands blistered, was still mindful of
duty and saved the mail he was carry
ing by burying it in the sand, before
he fought through the line of fire to
safety. Not all the heroes tread the
battlefelds.-Fall River Herald.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

IfTWHH. EH Ma. W.
ming with a peroration about prunes,
based on the huge elephant construct
ed out Of dried specimens Of that
much derided boarding house favorite
"a frightful, wobbly-kneed example Of
what industry, coupled with violence
Of imagination, energetically misdi-
rected, can perpetrate-Uncle John led
him by dried-fruit-bound paths into the
mysteries of California farming.
Silently. not to say patiently or re-
sentfully, Margaret walked along with
Aunt Eliza. What profit from her
t~ransgression IL 1t not only furnished
no escape for her, but even afforded a
new sacrifice upon the altar Of Uncle
Johns zeal for acquiring and impart-
ing information. Piloted by Uncle
John, the humorless, the quartet
stopped before a model fruit farm,
Z worked out in papier mache.
This ranch, Margaret, which is
here reproduced, belongs to your
aunt's nephew, Jack Jenkins. I have
asked him to take dinner with us at
the hotel tonight and you will meet
him there. He's a good chap. l
caught him in a false position
but once, and then / think the fault
was not altogether his"
The young man. with longing looks
toward Margaret, showed signs of
breaking away from her uncle's re-
strainlng grasp.
"All he needs is a housekeeper-a
wife, l mean. home-maker, like your
Aunt Elias been to me-" droned
Uncle John, stating that romantic sit
uation as one might speak Of the mum
Der Of seeds in a prune elephant. but
he is not much for women folks. He
says itTtakes him six days to figure out
what a woman means by what she
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
kaIser Honors RarthoIdt.

Washington, d. C.-Representative
Richard Bartholdt of st. Louis, spe-
cial ambassador Of the United States
to convey to Kaiser Wilhelm and the
German people the replica Of the mag
nificent statue Of Gen. Baron Won
Steuben, unveiled in this city last De-
cember, will sail for Europe to execute
his mission about August 10. The
German emperor has indicated that
the most convenient time to receive
the replica will be between August 80
and September 5.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
WorId.a wealthlest lndlxlduaIs.

1t Is quite impossible to say who are
the eight richest men and women in
the world. Some OF the Indian princes
are enormously wealthy. though the
extent Of their fortunes is not known.
There are besides many wealthy fami-
lies and individuals in Europe whose
names are little known in this coun-
try. and about whose fortunes SO lit.
tie is reliably known as to make a
comparison impossible.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
His disqualification.

When we saw her she stopped pant
ing by the road to rest. 1t was the
shell road in Bay st. Louis, and she
was black. Beside her was a heavy
market basket filled to overlooking.
We smiled at her with sympathetic
friendliness and she responded with
full and free confidence.
"Yassam. l is some tiahed. An
lame. All painful wild miseries.
Yassm. / coulda done SEN some one
else to mahket To- me. Nah grandson
he ;oulda done gone. But dasn't
trus' him. He spends nah money toe
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

e. P1nkham's Vegetable Compound,
and I did. Today / amwell and strong
and do all my own homework. / owe
my health to Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound and advise my
friends who are afflicted with any
female complaint to try it.''-Mrs.
ORv1LLE ROCK, r. r. No.5, Paw Paw,
Michigan.
If you are i'll do not drag along until
an operation is necessary, but at onc
take Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.
For thirty years it has been the STAN
dard remedy for women's ills, and has
positively restored the health of thou
sands of women. Whydon't you tryit2
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Armour scholarships Awarded.

Columbia.-Tbe ogden Armour
scholarships in agriculture, amounting
to $3.50 each, won by the University
of Missouri stock judging team at the
international Live Stock show in Chi
cago last winter, were awarded to Err
nest L. Anthony Of Bucklin, William
M. Regan of Joplin, John S. Fidler Of
C~arrollton, Marion w. Lowry and
Thomas G. Reed of Columbia.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Nine picked for Honorary Frat.

Columbia-Nine members have been
elected to Phi Beta Kappa, the hon.
orary fraternity to which only stu
dents of the college of art and science
and the college of education are ELI
gible. The chosen ones are: L. R.
Ford, Rich Hill; w. A. Woods, YER
s%ailles; T. w. Irion, Cape Girardeau;
A, H. Nolle, st. Louis; J. B. .Needham,
Salem; Miss Helen Ross, Indepen.
dence; T. E. Breeze, Windsor; Miss
Marjorie Grove, Webster Groves,
Francis Stewart, Chillicothe.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Some Contrast.

"Mornin', Sis Judy" called a neigh
boris cook to our good old nanny.
Z" heah dat Skeeter Jim is dun got
him a new wife. l hope she leetl fat
tern dat spindlin', no-'count streak-o'-
'lean!"
"Fatter n him?" Nanny replied,
rolling her eyes and clasping her own
fat hands. "Lawsy, chile, day jus lax
a needle an a haystack!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
trust case Decision Filed.

Jefferson City.-Judge William M.
Williams filed in the supreme court
copies of the decisions Of the United
States supreme court in the Standard
Oil and tobacco cases recently decid-
ed. He said he desired the court to
read them before their decision in the
custer proceedings against the Inter
national Harvester company.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Hadley Paroles Two convicts.

Jefferson City.-Gov. Hadley paroled
James Sullivan Of Randolph county
and Joseph Perrin of Jackson county.
Both were young men and sentenced
for two years each. Sullivan was con-
victed in Randolph county of stealing
fishing tackle in May, 1910.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Here Isl her own statement.

plaC6UleuG. i cOulu
not be on my feet for
a long time. My
physician treated
me for v months
without much relief
and at last sent me
to Ann Arbor for
an operation. / was
there four weeksand
home suffering
worse than before.
My mother advised
me to try lydia
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
AwfuI Contingency.

what are you girls doing?"
Settling u costumes for the
Shakespeare ball, mother"
Take my advice and wait. They
may dig up something at any moment
to prove there never was such a per-
son, and then where would your
Rosalind and Celia be-"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

La Grange-D. Ransom Harvey
has been elected president Of La
Grange college. He Is a graduate OF
Rochester IN. Y.) seminary and has
been at the head Of the theological
department OF La Grange college.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Fans Attack AM umpIre.

Moberly.-Enraged because they re-
scented his decisions, a mob of 500 fans
attempted to throw Umpire Genin OF
st. Louis into a pond. He was res
cued by a deputy sheriff and taken to
a hotel, which was guarded by the en-
tire police force until a st. Louis train
left.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Jefferson City.-The Bank Of Nc
Fall of McFall was chartered by Bank
Commissioner Swanger. 1t is capital
lied at $4,000, and more than 40 res
idents OF the town have stock. The
largest shareholder has ten shares.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Ina L Saved bv walklno.

Montgomery Clty-Mrs. Lizzie Hunt
er, a widow, took an overdose Of
laudanum BY mistake and almost died.
Neishbors walked and talked to her
all night to keep her from falling
asleep.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Gwendolyn--She Is not going to
stop at that resort any longer.
Genevieve-What is the reason, no
men there?
Gwendolyn-Not that exactly. There
is one lone man, who has proposed
to all of the girls but her, and she
feels so out of place when they III
holding an experience meeting.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
wife Of Pioneer PREACHER Dies.

Moberly.-Mrs. W. M. Featherstone
died at her home in this city. She
was the wife of Elder William Feath-
erstohe, one Of the Oldest ministers in
the Christian church in Missouri.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Garfield Tea keeps the bodily machinery
in order; it regulates the digestive organs
and overcomes constipation.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Mastodon,s reeth Hound.

Marshall.-John Stamford, residing
near Marshall, while ~excayating a
slough on his farm, found two masto-
don teeth, which now are on exhibit
ton at his home. The molars are
as large as q mans fist,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Death may love a shining mark
but shining marks are scarce.

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces inhamma-
ton. allays pain, cures wind collie. 25c a bottle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
ReslnoI Ointment Can Be Depended

heSIhoI OIntFneht Gan Be Bependeu
Upon
in all cases of eruptive and irritable
skin diseases. The most obstinate
cases of eczema, herpes, letter, bar
ber's itch, as well as the simple
rashes, chafings and sores of child
hood are readily cured by this reli-
able remedy. It stops the intense
pain of a burn or scald Immediately.
1t is also a specific in itching piles,
giving instantaneous relief from all
irritation. At all drug stores.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15
Getting Acquainted.

Settln9 acquainted.
When a new family moves in next
door the old boy and the new boy
climb up on the fence to get ~aequaint-
ed, and 1t is done as follows:
Whats your name?"
None of your business-what's
yours?"
None Of your business. You are
sassy"
$50 are you"
Don't you talk back to mel"
And don't you to mel"
I'm an awful fighter when I'm
mad!"
And I'm awfuller than you are!"
I've got a dog"
And I've got a goat"
And five minutes later they are
good friends.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

By taking Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

The following letter from Mrs.
Orville Rock will prove how unwise
it is for women to submit to the
dangers of a surgical operation when
1t may be avoided by taking Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
She was fOurweeksin the hospital
and came home suffering worse
than before.
Here is her own statement.
Paw Paw, Mich.-"Two years ago
1 suffered very severely with a dis
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

It's difficult for people to generate
advice that Ii fo~olproof.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Many self-made men forget to make
themselves agreeable.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Lewis Single Binder cigar. Original Tin
Foil Smoker Package, Sc straight.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Some girls are afraid to go down.
town by themselves for fear a man
may not try to firt with them.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Lewis Single Binder straight Sc cigar
is made to satisfy the smoker.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

When a laxative is needed, take the al
ways potent Garfield Tea. Composed Of
Herbs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Some people seem to make a spe-
cialty of thinking only near-thoughts.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Many a man has discovered that
popularity is not worth the price.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

You can't reform a man by sug-
costing that he ought to be as good
as you are
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Charity is too often charity dis
pensed.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1911-06-15

Our idea of q true philosopher is q
man who is able to explain away his
faults to the satisfaction of himself.
The Cairo bulletin., 1911-02-15
19oo.s1
s116.o44.oo,'
INCREASE WEIGHT QUICKLY
Simple Way for the Thin and Pale to
Be Plump and Rosy.

Samose can hardly De termed 3
medicine, ii is in realty a 1esh form
ing food. Taken before or after
meals it mingles vita the food YOU
eat, enables 1T to assimilate ana
readily digest, so as to make rich
blood and pleasing plumpnes.
After Samose has been used weeG
or ten days noticeable gain In
weight is seen. The sa'low com zen
ion will become rosy, the sunsen
cheeks will have a ruddy glow, the
eyes will be bright, the breath sweet
and the step elastic,
Paul G. Schulz & Sons customers
have told them of the remarkable re-
suits Glowing the use of Samose, the
great flesh forming food, and they are
so thoroughly convinced of It's re-
liability that they are selling It unGer
their personal guarantee to refund
the money if 1t does not do all that
is claimed for It, You who are thin
and in poor health cannot afford to
let another day pass without getting a
soc box of Samose on those terms.