The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-11-19

l There isn't any use being selfish and l l have a letter which is just too delicious and old fashioned to keep. Its stately phrases and felicities of ex-
 presson make me curiously interested in the personality of the writer. You can imagine "Old Beau to be one of at least a half dozen Crusty Old Bach- elors of your acquaintance-dating back to vintage of the early 70's and the picture you conjure up of him, and the
 admirable gracious, Miss Lucetia, is no
 less vivid than the keen and caustic,
 though courteous manner in which their
 criticism of latter day inelegancies' is
 couehed.
 q don't mind the note of criticism"
 one can imagine pretty Dorothy of to-
 day saying, hut what I do object to
 is the tone of disapproval in which it is delivered.
 The letter (which I am presently going to divulge) Is a model of tact and sub tlety. | There is no direct criticism. | It is merely an uplifting of the eye
 brows. and mild astonishment most ad- l mirably concealed in the phrase.
 "Lucretia's head and mine are holding l like Chinese Mandarins over 8. genera | tion rich in most things, but which finds 1 itself much impoverished when it comes
 to words
 1 And the dictionary is simply bursting
 with the very best kind of words! l Read, Pretty Maiden, what this "Old Beau says about you! And l Don't blame it on me. I didn't say it.
 | He did.
 But I will confess that I am such a craven admirer of all that "Old Beau stands for that I must say "I think so tooi''
 | Here is the letter:
 1 My dear Miss Dolly Darymple 0or none | could read your stories day by day and
 not imagine both pronoun and adjective | to be applicable): I am that which might have been known in the old South. | which preceded yours. as an "Old Beau" l Both words have been dropped by polite 1 society and have lost value. and anony- | nous letters are not in my line, but if l I should write over my own name my 1 Cousin Lucretia would die of heart fail | ure. She doesn't believe In peoples names I appearing in paper, and Cousin Lu-
 cretias freside is the only one In town where I can safely say: 1 Do you remember?" without risking Anathema from a 1 High-brow.
 l My dear young lady, am dying to
 make confession to you: 1t is this: | nave ulScONeTeu you. btucdtH yOui pretty mask of Discreet Advice and | Household Hints you are as frivilous | as am and under my gray crown and hack of my solemn looking eye glasses I am as frivolous as you are, my dear Miss Dolly. Tn fact, on the ] "otter side of the water"-I have been
 called sad dog" Now, then! | The raison d'etat for this unwar-
 rantable letter is this: There is but one | cir1 fhn If gina of Opn g. sion and of Commission that you and
 the rest have not indexed-and this 1 have the inconceivab1e temerity to point out
 1 This overwhelming desire on my part
 may be attributed to the collectors
 instinct which I have in abundance | having a collection of both varieties
 "Om." and "Com."-which would be hard to duplicate.
 l They are no longer on view, how ever: some of them have been chloro- 1 formed. some decapitatcd on the pin 1 of conscience: but all correctly class l; flied specimens--in my humble esti-
 nation, which may also be collectors Iprejudice.
 My cousin Lucretia possesses an ab- normally delicate sense of hearing, be- ing plainly able to tell you at once | whether an "e" or an "a" ever saw the South of Mason and Dixon's line
 which Is sometimes inconvenient for l the owners of the aforesaid vowels. Unfortunately I have inherited this sensitively from the same ancestor who was responsible without intending l. 1t, for my Cousin Lucretia's peculiar gift. Consequently Miss Dolly, l wish were Japanese and could rest l my head upon the lap of earth while
 making this confession which Is noth- | ing more or less than a Preachment
 about a Debutante on whose horizon I fully realize am but speck of yes- terday's dust. ~
 Her Highness. the Deb, and her older
 sisters. occasionally stroll in my Cousin Lucretia's and the sin which is heinous to my mind is the fratricide of words