davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
NXHAWKER .JOTS

Don't crawfish." advises the Leroy
Reporter. There may be some one be-
| hind you with a shingle."
| Good advice from the ottawa Her
aid: If you have asthma, don't attempt
to hold your breath until Hon. Diaz re-
signs.
Every woman should have an aim IN
| life, insists the Ingalls, Beacon, even If
she can't hit the side of a barn with a
| brick
Taking notice of the attempt of a
"firebug' to destroy a Salina hotel re-
Gently, the Mtltonvale Record says its
| recollections are of a different kind of
bug in the Salina hotels.
The Jewell County Republican heard
or farm woman who won't buy to-
bacco with her egg money. And the
Republican adds: Some women don't
care how much suffering they cause.
A small boy who had been naughty
was taken into the cellar by his father
where very feeling interview took
place. After it was over, the father
said Now Johnnie, do you know what
bigger than I am" whimpered John
nie.-Minneapolis Better Way.
"Pony Boy" the Charleston CORE
lspondent of the Ingalls, Beacon, did not
have a very strong string of items in
last weeks paper, but he furnished an
adequate apology DY lacking THIS
statement on the end of them: Coo
oo-oo. Our sweetheart visited us this
week, but that's the trouble. We can't
think of anything else.
It is related, says the Potter Kansan.
that several years ago an Irish bridge
inspector on the Pollywog arrived in
Potter and as he knew Deacon
Brown, the barber pretty well, he put
up with him for the night at the hotel
That was before Deacon" was mar
ried, and he and the Irishman slept to-
gether. Upon retiring the Irishman
said he wanted to get up bright and
early in the morning as he wanted to
get over as much of his territory as
possible that day. Deacon" assured
him that he would get him out at day
break. The Irishman, like most sons of
Erin, was of a jovial disposition and
given to joking. He chaffed Deacon
about his bald head, all of which the
latter endured in silence. AS soon as
the Irishman fell asleep, however,
Deacon" arose and shaved his head
as smooth as an Easter egg. The Irish
man was called at the appointed time
and without the least suspicion re-
sumed his tour of inspection on his
railroad tricycle.. At the first stop he
knelt down at a spring to get drink,
and seeing the reflection of his bald
head in the water. he threw up his
hands and exclaimed. "Well, I'll be
blowed if Deacon didn't call the
wrong man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

and delicate looking, but has a won
derfully sharp expression, gave vent
TO lamentations over the capture of his
gang at the very moment when it was
about to distinguish itself by a particu-
larly grand coup. "In a very short
time" he cried, 1--WE should have made
our fortunes, as 1 had discovered a
quite original way of exploiting the
markets in the district. Well, 1 am
caught, and so much the worse for all
of u.s." His two companions had al
ready been sent to the depot of the
prefecture of police, and he had fol-
lowed them there, as his parents, in
sheer despair, have washed their hands
of him.-Paris correspondence of Lon
don Telegraph.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
The west and Immigrants.

According to an Antwerp cable, the
diversion of European immigrants from
the United States to Canada is said to
be seriously affecting the Atlantic
steamship line. One of the largest emf
grant steamship lines in the trade has
already diverted two of it's steamers
from the New York service to Canadian
ports. The loss of immigrants who can
find superior opportunities in Canada
to those with which they are familiar
in the United States is a serious one for
this country. Canada has not yet
reached state of development where
labor conditions are bad. She needs
immigrants for developing her natural
resources, and that is the kind she is
getting. The United States, unfortu
nately, does not make it plain to the
foreigners that Eastern cities are not
the only prosperous places in America.
Desirable immigrants are being fright
ened away from this country because
they do not know that the great west
can offer them every attraction that
they can find in Canada--Portland
OreoOuian
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago Ne

lETom the Chicago News.
A generous man doesn't give his
friends away.
Men who mean no harm are not
necessarily harmless.
And many a tombstone inscription
is too good to be true.
The farce comedy that fails to make
a hit is no laughing matter.
Ever notice that a lecturer always
comes highly recommended?
When cuteness develops into inso-
lence 1t is time to get your gun.
Be sure you are a good loser before
participating in the game of love.
Give any man half chance and
he'll say something he will regret
later.
Gossips believe all they hear, and
what they don't hear they take for
granted.
Men acquire a taste for liquor and
tobacco and women acquire a taste for
olives and love.
The wrinkles caused by worry are
the result of worrying over something
that worry could not help.
If a man is troubled with indiges-
ton, it is a waste of time to try to
convince him that the world is grow
ing better.
Weather was probably invented by
his Satanic majesty so that people
would have something to growI about
when there was nothing else at hand.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
Crime Among Children.

There is considerable fermentation in
France over the fact that most of the
murders and dangerous assaults which
are chronicled in the columns devoted
to crime are committed by members of
the rising generation, young people
whose ages vary from Is to 81. Now
small boy, no more than 10 years of
age, has suddenly emerged from c5-
security as the ringleader of a gang of
thieves. This anything but promising
child haS already been brought last
month before the police cOmmissary
of the neighboring township in which
he dweIls, on a charge of appropriat-
ing other peoples property, but in
consideration of his youthfulness he
was sent back to his parents. The les
son was lost on him, however, as a
few days later he organized a gang
will. Goods disposed for sale outside
the shops in that township disappeared
as if by magic, and every hour of the
day one tradesman or another was
hurrying to the police commissary
with a woeful face to report his losses.
Detectives were told off to keep
careful watch, with the result that a
couple of lads were caught in the act.
They soon made a clean breast of it,
admitting that they had committed
some of the theftS which had created
such stir, and adding that their gang
was under the direction of the boy of
10, who was eventually discovered fast
asleep in a goods van lying at a rail-
way station at some distance from
that place.
| Brought once more before the police
Icommissary, the lad, who is very small
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
FROM OTHER PENS
THE GRADUATION GOWN.

Graduation days will soon be here.
And with their approach comes to ev-
cry prospective girl graduate the i'm
portant question: What shall wear?'
Probably more heartaches have
been caused at school commence
ments by the question of dress than
all the troubles that a girl encounters
during her entire course of instruction.
The proud mothers of girls in homes
of affluence are eager to have them
looking their best on this momentous
occasion and are not inclined to con-
slider expense in the attainment of
that end. The mother of the poor girl
knows this and is determined that her
daughter shall make an equally good
appearance, no matter at what sacri-
fee. When the eventfu1 evening
comes it is found, usually, that some
are better dressed than others and the
fact rankles in the breasts of the I'M
fortunate ones and their women rela-
tives to an extent that is difficult for
men to realize.
This has long been one of the most
disagreeable problems that school au-
thoritieS are called upon to face In
volt among the high school girls and
their mothers by decEeeing that all
graduation gowns shall be white, in
expensive and fashioned simply. In
East Liverpool, o., it has been decided
that the girls shall wear the conven-
tional students cap and gown. And
against these DEGREES there is bonn
bardment of indignant feminine pro-
tests about the tyranny that seeks to
dictate what we shall wear."-CTeve-
land Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
QUAKER MEDITATIoNs.
[From the Philadelphia Record

lF'rom the Philadelphia Record
Quite naturally it's the worldly peo-
pie who want the earth
A woman may feel helpless even in
an employment agency.
A man may be a cross country rider
and still be amiab1e about it.
A soft answer may turn away
wrath, but sometimes it comes hard.
Aiming high won't do much good
unless you have the necessary ammu-
milton.
No, Maude, dear, there is no SINH
larity between a thirsty doctor and a
dry dock.
The man who bets may be a gam
bier. but the man who doesn't bet is
no bettor.
Few of us can do more than one
thing well; many a man who has no
difficulty in making money is a dis
NAL failure as spender.
Hoax-Rubber is the longest word
in the English language. Joax-How
do you make that out? Hoax-If It
isn't long enough you can stretch it.
Facts always speak for them
selves quoted the Wise Guy. In
which connection it is perhaps need
less to add that a woman is an incon-
trovertible fact" replied the Simple
Mug.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

In this column it was stated the
other day that in an explanation" of
the new law which makes a second
violation of the prohibitory statute a
penitentiary offense, John Dawson.
the states attorney general, was IA
miliar enough with the amber liquid
to refer to it as "suds'' and good old
beer" as It appeared that he was in
an interview with him on the subject
which was printed in the newspapers.
And a little surprise was expressed at
this familiarity on the part OF such a
strong champion of prohibition. But
Brother Dawson has set matters
right by denying the implication. IT
didn't write any official opinion" he
saws, "about 'suds' and good old
beer" OF course, John u a Canny
scot, you know. and is not expected
q have q very diversified knowledge
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
Tin to June Brides.

From now on there is to be mark
ed advance in the standard of cooking
in many homes in the Bedford section
of Brooklyn, for armor-plated bread
and biscuits that call for the services
of a nut cracker have been declared
by the Rev. Father John L. Belford'
pastor of the Roman Catholic church
of the Nativity, to be greater cause
of marital unhappiness tran the more
fashionable plea of incompatibll1ty OF
temper.
In the article entitled "Prenuptial
Thoughts" which appears in the latest
number of Nativity Mentor, the parish
paper, Father Belford says that many
a man who has gone blithesomely to a
jewelry store for a ring is disillus1oned
when he finds that dancing ability in
his life partne is poor substitute Tor
the knowledge of how to prepare
lunch.
sWhen a young man vows to love
and cherish for better or for worse he
never dreams that she will forget the
salt in cooking or bake bread that will
be soggy in the center and armor-
plated on the outside" Father Belford
said.
s'The first break comes when he
calls for the nut cracker as she passes
the biscuits Then there is scene,
pantomimic rather than wordy. She
hurrieS home to mother to cry out the
anguish that is on her heart, for her
lie is Dl1SnIeO.
eff mother is sensible, and most
mothers are, she will invite John to
her own home for a week to get his
stomach and temper right, and in the
meantime she will put the daughter
through a course of cooking that will
send her and her lord and master
home wiser and not the less devoted.
''In time, when John has sons of his
own, he will counsel them to be wise
in casting about for helpmates. He is
convinced that many a first page of a
book of married life would be without
tearstains if young men would insist
upon their prospective partners being
practical housekeepers
''It is all right to let looks and dane
ing and clever talking have share in
the attractions that lead a man to the
tewelry store for a ring, but he finds
her beauty is somewhat changed with
out the usual makeup, that dancing
is a poor substitute for lunch, and as
for talking, there will come a time
when he will set a premium on an
hour of perfect quiet"
Father Bedford says that women are
greater offenders than men today In
rushing into matrimony without sufh-
cient preparation. He says that 1t is
to be regretted that the demand for
women in commercial pursuits has re-
suited in a lessening of her knowledge
of household duties.-New York Her
aid
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

don't know how to go about 1t. Do you
a week."
Well. unused the professor, II
would rather give you two
''Of course he would" growled the
cartoonist to himself behind the
screen
"In fact" continued the professor,
81 could better afford to give you two
lessons a week for the price of one.
work that way
eff you think so,'' agreed the girl.
How much will the charges be?"
The professor hesitated. apparently
somewhat embarrassed. Fifty cents
week for-two lessons"
Please, I don't want to be in
class said the girl. Il don't want
anyone to know"
This is to be private instruction"
James assured her. Now what name
is it, please ~
tClark, Miss Drusilla Clark" she
said.
An hour later James had finished
Drusilla Clark's first lesson, and
Thomas had been unscreened.
"See here" said Thomas with sar-
Is cents an hour Don't you think
that organized charity is better than
individual effort?"
81 suppose" answered James, that
som ething depends on personality.
She's a clever little soul, that Miss
Clark. You should have seen how
she kept looking at those curtains,
though. Is there anything unconven-
tional about having curtains lying
about ?"
you are Dense" remarked Thomas.
miss Clark made those curtains and
of course she was interested in them
They always said that good luck
came with the curtains, and when, a
year later, James started out on his
law career and moved away from the
old lodgings he asked to take pair
of the curtains with him.
I'll need them as mascot, he
said.
Take them ALL" said Thomas. "All
my good luck came when I won Dru-
silla, and when We are married she
can make dozens more."-(Copyrigh
1911, by Associated Literary Press)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
HUNOR OF THE DRY

Rivers, is yours a safety razor3', "It
is now. haven't used 1t for two wears.
Chicago Tribune.
ticence in regard to your views on the
SUBJECT is often wise.-Puck
DO you believe mans character can
pc judged from his handwrftfng?" srYes.
II his letters are read in court "-Tudga
He takes a cold bath every morning
very remarkable man. "Pienty ~ wen
do that. But knew him for fiys vaara
peIore ne ever mentioned the facf."-
Louisville Courier-Journal
+he c SPOKE IN favor of good roads," said
ponent say to that?' ssFJa inn3eSfa+ oiv
IaSo e IN favor Of better roads. That Eel
1I S1To 1s q snreWd, dangerous man.''-Louis-
VINE Courler-Journal.
Mother-I gave you a nickel yesterday
b 10 De good' and today you are just as
trylng to show you that you got your
money worth yesterday.-Boston Trans
Miss GushweII-I like grand onera in
InSaHan SO much better than in English
Ion Ion your Musical Critic-Oh, yes: un-
translation in the lbretto CLOSELY YOU
don't need to find out what awful rot A.
is--Chicago Tribune Ao' ~
,o,, Ah' little boy. I'm glad you didn't
banana and fell down" aBonlhoo' J hao e
1t was my father?' s.Cheer IN. iIttIe
man-he's not badly hurt at don't care
nope ~ Pen ne ls-ooo-hooi It was my banana
ne stepped on.'-Cleveland Leader.
so she doesn't return your affection.
en- ven 1 shouldn't get mad about that
said Watkins. II don't mind her not re-
!alrag my affections" said Dobbleigh,
out conIound it, she won't return INV
diamond ring, either!'-Harper's weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
IFrom the New york Press l

IFrom the New York Press.1
Try raising flowers at home so as to
appreciate that you can buy them in a
shop.
A man is ten times as pleased with
a bet he wins as he is with ten
times as much that he earns.
The cook wants you to raise her
wages because she can make good cof-
fee and because she can't broil a steak
just the same
The fellow who wants to kiss a girls
little feet before she marries him
doesn't seem SO very much interested
in kissing her lips after she does.
The later a man stays out at night
the wiser it is for his wife to pretend
she believes him when he says the next
morning he came home early.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Starting a rumor is as easy as it is
hard to stop one.
y y
People who let their future take
care of itself generally end up at the
county poor farm.
4 \ y
Most parents demand a goodness of
their children that they wouldn't
think of practicing themselves.
More people would call others
names If they could think up ones
that would be appropriate.
y
When a girl debates as to which one
Of three or four men she shall marry,
she is not going to marry for love.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
NEW USE FOR M1sTLEroE.

In the average mind ncistletoe is as
ISOLATED with the merry Christmas
time and as an excuse for osculatory
diversion. The practical character of
the age, however, was never more
fully demonstrated than by the an
nouncement that the mistletoe is not
merely a Yuletide ornament Clinical
and laboratory experiments have
shown it to be possessed of medical
properties in high degree.
1t has already produced remarkable
results in lowering blood pressure and
as heart tonic. In some phases of
tuberculosis it has also proven its
value. and its effects in nervous dis
eases is said to be most beneficial. 1t
is evident, therefore, that the farmers
who gather it only once a year will
now be induced to overlook the Christ
mas season and turn their attention to
supplying the drug manufacturers.
We grieve to think what will then
happen. Mistletoe, now the chief
decoration of the parlor chandelier,
will be found only on the chemist
table and one of the joys of Christmas
will be sacrificed upon the altar of
Itrade.-Washingto Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

The first book to be printed from
movable type, the famous Gutenberg
Bible, changed ownership the other
day, the consideration being no less
than $4,000. But a much more SER
viceabIe Bible can be purchased in any
book store for So or even less.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

Those differences between the reg
ular Republicans in the insurgents in
the United States senate over commit
tee assignments is likely to take up
much valuable time of that body that
might better be devoted to the trans
action of public business. But then
the personal scraps in congress have
always been paramount to everything
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

DIR. wylie's suggestion that the Of
Tending parties to divorce suits should
be prohibited from marrying again is
q good one. But it can scarcely be
brought about unless there are uni
form laws on this subject in each of
the afafaa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
PHYLLIS LEE.

PHHln1S LEE.
Beside Primrose 'broidered Rill
sat Phyllis Lee in Silken Dress
while Lucius limnd with loving skill
Her Likeness, as a Shepardess.
Yet tho he strove with loving skill
His Brush refused to work his VIII.
Dear Maid, unless you close your Eyes
cannot paint today" he said;
Their Brightness shames the very Skies
And turns their Turquoise into Lead"
Quoth Phyllis, then, ITO save the Skies
And speed your Brush, I'll shut my
Eyes"
Now when her eyes were closed, the dear
Not dreaming of such Treachery,
Felt Soft Whisper in her Ear,
without the Light, how can one Seer"
II you are sure that none can see
Til keep them shut" said Phyllis Lee.
oliver Herford in Scribners.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

The Dutch can always be depended
upon to do the unusual. They have
taken possession of the Palmas
Island, near the Philippines group,
and the United States considers these
islands so worthless that it does not
nronnsa to Krotest.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

The attention of those who may be
planning to embark in the profitable
business of bank robbery is called to
the fact that Mr.. Dolley, the bank
commissioner of Kansas, has in his
possession a full and complete set of
instructions on how to rob bank.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

of beer. But let him continue: "It is
possible that I did assist a reporter
once who wrote a story in which
Blackstone, Lord Cole and the Com
mon Law were interpreted in the
terms of Tennesseetown and the Bot
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

One of the presumably popular cit
liens of the state of Washington is
unfortunate enough at this time to be
in jail. He padded the census reports
he made out with 1000 names.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

There is likely to be shortage OF
words in this country by the time sum-
ner rolls around. Prospects are good
that untold millions of them will be
wasted during the tariff debate which
has finally been started on its way in
oaneraaa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

Fix this in your memory and lend
a hand wherever possible to make the
event a greater success than ever.
June Z, 8 and 9 have been set as the
dates for Topeka's annual Merchants
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

Stop, look and listen! A Kansas
rooster is "mothering' flock of little
chickens. And a Kansas hen is lay
ing three eggs a day. Thus is the
excellent reputation of Kansas for de-
veloping the unusual sustained.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

Next to having gold mine in good
working order the possession of works
of famous painters seems to be about
the most profitable thing. Two por-
traits by Titan have just been sold for
eonn mn
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
WHAT SUCCESS IS.

Success is to do little better what
ever you are doing than anybody else
has been able to do it. If you do things
just as well as the next man you be-
long to the common herd If you do
things better you make success. The
line of work has little to do with II.
Just do your work better than anybody
else and you have made success
Lawrence Journal-World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

Chauncey NJ. Depew has some poll.
teal discernment. He says that Mr.
Tafts denomination for the presidency
is Inevitable.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

It is to be hoped that Congressman
Captain Hobson has taken note Of that
letter written by President Taft in
which Jingoes are properly lambasted
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal Is a member OF the
&qs0c1ated Press and receives the full day
Telegraph report OF that great news or
ganiZatlon for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news is received In The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

Once in awhile man knows where
of he speaks. And in this category
is the Kansan who is able to say that
he did not commit suicide.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-28

And among the crop shortages Of
1911 that has been exceedingly &C
ceptabIe to most people is the one
concerned with spring poetry. 1t has
been unusually light this year.