davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1909-1915, 1911-10-20
THIS HAPPENED IN MISSOURI
Editor Mixed Wedding Announce.
ment and the Advertisement of an.
Auction Sale.

A Missouri editor who was brimful
O. hard cider got a wedding account
and sale mixed and served to his
readers this dope:
William Smith, the only son Of Mr.
and Mrs. Josiah Smith, was disposed
at auction to Lucy Anderson on my
farm, one mile east of here in the
presence Of 70 guests, including the
following, to-wit: Two mules, IL head
of cattle. The Rev. jackson tied the
nuptial the least weighing 1850
pounds on the hoof. The beautiful
home of the bride was tastefully deco
rated with seewash calf, a spade,
sulky rake one feed grinder, one set
double harness, almost new, and just
before the ceremony was pronounced.
Memberships wedding march was
played by one mich cow, five years;
one Jersey cow, to be fresh next April,
carrying bunch of flowers in her
hand and looking charming in a gown
made of light spring wagon, two boxes
OF apples, two racks Of hay, one grind
stone, mouseline deori trimmed with
about 100 bushels of spuds. The groom
is we'll known and popular young
man and has always stood we'll among
society circles of IL Berkshire hogs,
while the bride is an accomplished and
talented school teacher of splendid
drove of Poland China-pedigrees If
desired. Among the beautiful pres.
ehts were two sets of knives and forks;
one spring harrow, one wheelbarrow,
one go-cart, other articles too numer-
GUS to mention. The bridal couple
left yesterday on an extended trip,
term of IL months time, extended to
responsible parties, otherwise spot
cash luncheon will be served at the
After this Mr. and Mrs. Smith
will go to housekeeping in a coy
home at the corner of Main and Doc
tor R. L. CRANKY, auctioneer.-Nation-
al Monthly.
Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1909-1915, 1911-10-20
Motor Maps.

In countries like France, where
roads are good and cross roads nu-
merous, travellers by automobile have
frequent occasion to consult road
maps, because they 60 so fast and
change direction so often that topo-
graphical Information is, for them, a
continual necessity.
To meet this there has been invent
ed an automatic chart that unrolls in
step with the advance of the carriage,
SO that the chauffeur has always be-
fore him a map of the route he is to
pursue. When the road is about to
turn sharply an electric bell gives
warning, 300 meters in advance, An.
other attachment to. the, chart regis.
tiers the distance traversed. The
whole apparatus is moved by gearing
connected with the wheels of the an.
Gomob1le. $3.50 g..
Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1909-1915, 1911-10-20
Great Chance for This JUDGES WIFE.

Great Chance for This Judges wife.
A New York court has established
q ruling that no woman's dress car
ries money value after 1t has been
worn ten times. The decision was
made In a fire insurance suit whereby
the plaintiff sought to recover the full
value Of clothing destroyed. In ad-
uniting that the clothing had been
worn more than ten times the plain
tin lost her case, for the court gave
her but trif1ing sum.
~ Whew! What an opportunity for
that judges wife! She might hang a
tally sheet by her wardrobe door with
the record Of every wearing Of every
garment "Ten times and out" might
become her slogan. If she chose, she
could have new dress or two or
three new dresses every ten days
according to the number Of times she
wishes to change her, clothes in q
days time. Perhaps at the end Of a
month the Judge might come to the
conclusion that after all dress has
some money value after Il has been
worn ten times.
Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1909-1915, 1911-10-20
CERTAIN r ,. RESULTS
= > 49, -. ~ = !. : -
Many Devils Lake Citizen Knows
HOW Sure They Are.

Nothing uncertain about the work Of
Doan's Kidney Pills in Devils Lake.
There is plenty Of positive proof Of
this in the testimony Of citizens. Such
evidence should convince the most
skeptical doubter. Read the following
statement: ~.'.,
Mrs. N. e. Waller, 103 e. Sixth st.,
Devils Lake, N. OAK, says: II can
speak very highly Of: Doan's Kidney
Pills and I have recommended them
to many OF my friends and acquain.
tances. In every instance where they
have been used, benefit has been re-
cived. My first experience with Doan's
Kidney Pills took place about two
years ago. At that time they relieved
me Of dull, bearing-down feeling In
the small Of my back. My kidneys
we're strengthened and I improved so
greatly in every way that was given
great confidence in this remedy. Last
spring when again had need of a kid
ney medicine, I took Doan's Kidney
Pills and they acted as effectively as
before. I have little faith in medicine
as a rule, but I make an exception
with Doan's Kidney Pills, for l know
that they live up to representation"
Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1909-1915, 1911-10-20
is. HAPPY WITH Y T! So A WEEK
Little sufices Where Love Abounds,
Declares Buffalo Man, Arrested 4 ID
k eeplngs Dog.

- r. 4 Fty w rs rl.s- ~
BafEalo N. e hiiea paying 10 me
~ $50 ina the city scourt here for.
keeping an nuzzled dog. Paul Gerth
yv,touchsafad the Information that Ills
weekly wage was 50. which provided
for a. family Of eight. d: f,,$ sts
as that enough to care for them ali
properly ~ asked the court, and Gerth
replied that he would not exchange
places with Rockefeller or Carnegie.
MOT sallsSthe money In the world
would, make me any happier, Judge, .
he replied. We have everything We
want and q little some thing over We
don't claim to have solved the prob.
asm of existence, hut where there sia
real lave i young couple can get along
Oh little
Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1909-1915, 1911-10-20
Able liz Ambitious.

!, In one Of the Philadelphia settle
ments the chief orker was telling the
urchins Of the right Of every American
youngster to aspire to the presidency
Of the United States Little Able Eick.
stein didn't take kindly TO the sugges.
ton. s5s F=Z
Why, Able. you are not g bit am.
bilious" said the worker. 5tssS.5s 81 81
Oh, yes, teacher. but not to be pres
ddent,9 the lad replied 'I' d just like
to be secretary of the navy 30 that !
could ride In the boats whenever ]
wanted 70.
Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1909-1915, 1911-10-20
Legal blanks of all kinds at the In
ter-Ocean office.

For the aIl-day smoker.
If you must smoke all day, smoke
the General Arthur, a mild 10c. cigar
that can't get on your nerves.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1911-04-12

might knock off the handle and jam
the door and give trouble. Once the
outside door Is off then the yeggnlen
turn their attention to the inside
sheet door, which is called the 'keis-
ter" in the language Of the safe
blowers. This is the hardest door to
open, and the blowers are some
times at their wits ends to get on
the inside. A hole is drilled and
the explosive is inserted. Another
explosion takes place, and probably
only one sheet of metal comes off. A
bolt Is loosened or knocked out q
place, and into this opening another
charge Of glycerine Is inserted, and
this operation Is continued until the
door Is finally down and the cash
drawer Is rihed.
''The work Of blowing a safe re-
quires about al hour and a half, and
Immediately at It's conclusion the
gang makes off as soon as possible.
We strike across country unless a
convenient freight train passes,
never, however, dividing the booty
until daylight on the next morning.
Sometimes we have to bury the treas
ure, or a part Of it, and the tools
have to be hidden sometimes, too.
When we take the train we never
ride more than about 25 miles, when
we then strike across country, nut
ting further distance between us and
Il pursuers. In burying the tool
bag or treasure, we always carefully
select the place, making it easy OF
finding upon our return.
"Dodging bloodhounds is done by
attaching a small piece Of cloth, sat
urated with the oil of mustard to
the heels Of Il shoes. We used to
use vaseline with iodoform. but the
trouble about this drug Is that we
could not get the smell off Il clothes
when we wanted to do SO, so the oil
Of mustard is now used to advantage,
In lodging officers we have a merry
time Of 1t sometimes. being often
forced to face the music. 1t all de.
Ponds upon the character Of the mar
or men at the head Of the posse"
The work Of breaking up the yeggs
in South Carolina was performed b,
a quiet, modest man, Inspector II. r.
Gregory, who Is willing to admit
that McCarthy's evidence had mucf
to do with putting on the finishing
touches.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1911-04-12
DAYS OF DEAFNESS
Come to Hundreds of WalhaIIn
People.

There are days of dizziness;
Spells Of headache, languor, back
ache;
Sometimes rheumatic pains;
Often urinary disorders.
All tell you plainly the kidneys are
sick. .
Doan's Kidney Pills are especially
for kidney Ills.
Can Walhalla residents doubt this
statement.
Mrs. Mary NJ. Hunt, s.. Broad
street, Walhalla, S. c., says: II SUI
fered a great deal from weak kid
neys and my back and head ached.
| was subject to dizzy and nervous
spells, and | seemed unable to get
relief until | obtained Doan's Kidney
Pills at DR.. j. w. Bells. drug store.
They soon made a marked improve
ment, and l continued their use until
all the symptoms Of my trouble had
disappeared. My experience with
Doan's Kidney Pills has beer so sat
isfactory hat I can recommend the
remedy highly"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-
n take no other.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1911-04-12
Children Cry
FOR ELETCHER'S
~ r O ] ~
Inccndiarics Try to Burn City.

Colon. Panama. April 5-Three ar
rests were made Today as a result OF
efforts OF incendiaries to burn the
entire city.
Three thousand persons are home
less as a result Of twenty incendiary
fires within the past fortnight. The
police force has been increased.
The anti-foreign element Is believ-
ed to be responsible for the numer-
GUS fires. There is a great deal Of
excitement and feeling Is running
high.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1911-04-12
Taft Sends Shortest Message.

Washington, April 5.-President
Taft to-day sent a message to Con-
gress urging immediate consideration
Of the Canadian reciprocity bill. The
President urged It's passage for the
benefit Of both nations. The mes
sage is the shortest ever sem by any
President at the opening Of Con-
gress, containing only SIS words.
Reciprocity Is the only issue taken
up.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1911-04-12

Good results always follow the use
Of Foley Kidney Pills. They give
prompt relief in all cases Of kidney
and bladder disorders. Try them.
Barton's Pharmacy, Walhalla; w. q.
Lunney, Seneca.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1911-04-12

There are days of dizziness;
Spells Of headache, languor, back
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22

ne canao: speak a word and can hear
Cniy the lOudest tones"
Aunt Martha heard me and the
coed old soul was all sympathy at
once. She sat next 10 our bookmaker
friend so she leaned over in an eff
fort TO be pleasant. put her mouth
close TO the astOnished keys ear
ard yelled in n shrill treble, Lovely
day. Mr.. Schwartz"
Poor key looked reproachfullv at
the old lady second. then with gath
ering establishment he slid silently off
the chair and struck the floor with 4
bump.
Aunt Martha was so ratified over
this unexpected effort on Mr..
SchwartZ's part that she upset her
coffee and key got most of it in the
back OF the neck.
When peace was finally restored
Punch inquired about Uncle Peters
health.
Never better" answered Aunt
Martha During the last few months
he has gone about more than he used
to. Almost every day he is at the
race track in the interest of the So
Cicty he IS 4 member Of
What society is that" Bunch in
Quired
The S. P. c. A." replied the old
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22
| John Henry's
| - PLAN
| By GEORGE V. HOBART
PLAN

for collecting apartment houses. He
owns the largest assortment of people
coops in the city. All the modern
improvements, too. Hot and cold
windows, running gas and noiseless
JanitorS. Mr.. Schwartz is the inyen-
tor of the idea of having two baths in
every apartment SO that the lessee
will have less excuse for not being
water broke
lkey never cracked a smile
In Mr.. Schwartz's apartment
houses, | continued, while Bunch
kicked my shins under the table; you
will iind self-freezing refrigerators
and selfleaving servants. All the
rooms are light rooms, when you
light the gas. Two of his houses
overlook the park and all of them
overlook the building laws. The floors
are made of concrete so that if you
want TO bring a horse in the perlor
you can do so without kicking off the
plaster in the fiat below Every room
las folding doors. and when the Wa
ter pipes burst the janitor has folding
arms"
Quit your jOshing, John, you'll
embarrass Mr.. Schwartz" laughed
Bunch somewhat nervously, but keys
grin never fiickered
is Mr. Schwartz deaf and dumb"
Clara J. whispered.
''Intermttently So I whispered
back: sometimes for hours at time
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22
WOULD LIE AWAKE ALL NIGHT
WITH ITCHING ECZEMA

Ever since I can remember I was
terrible sufferer Of eczema and
other irritating skin diseases. would
lie awake all night. and my suffering
was intolerable. A scaly humor set
tied on my back. and being but q
child, naturally scratched It It
was a burning, itching sensation, and
utterly intolerable. in fact. 1t was so
that could not possibly forget about
It. 1t did not take long before It
spread to my shoulders and arms. and
l was almost covered with q mass of
raw flesh on account of my scratching
it. l was in such a condition that my
hands were tied.
A number of physicians were call.
ed. but 1t seemed beyond their med
zeal power and knowledge to cure
me. Having tried numerous treat
ments without deriving any benefit
from them, I had given myself up to
the mercy Of my dreadful malady. but
thought l would take the Cuticura
treatment as last resort. Words
cannot express my gratitude to the
one who created The Cuticura Mira
cles.' as i have named them, for now
! feel as If never suffered from even
pimple. My disease was routed by
Cuticura Soap and Ointment, and I
shall never cease praising the wonder
full merits they contain. will never
be without them. in fact, I can almost
dare any skin diseases to attack me
so long as have Cuticura Remedies
in the house. l hope that this letter
will give other sufferers an idea Of
how suffered. and also hope that
they will not PASS the 'Cuticura Life
Saving Station" (Signed) C. Louis
Green. 500 Chestnut ST.. Philadelphia.
Pa, Aug. 20, 1910.
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22

! Peaches continued. while the Their
mometer went lower and lower.
so he is l replied, mentally ar
I ranging pleasant surprises for Tack.
in the near future.
Then why does his correspondent,
! address him is a Bookmaker?" my
wife said slowly. and l could hear the
iceberss grinding each other al
around me-
Il think I can explain that" Bunch
put in quietly. Then, with the utmos,
collaboration he looked Ikey in the eye
and said, Mir. Schwartz, it's really
none of my business, but would you
mind telling me why you. a real es
tate dealer. should have a letter in
your possession which is addressed
to you as Bookmaker? Answer me
on your fingers"
Ikey delivered the goods
in q minute he had both paws
working overtime and such a knuckle
twisting no mortal man ever INDUCED
in before.
He says" Bunch began to inter
pref, that the letter is not his 1t is
intended for Isadore Schwartz, a
wicked cousin of his who follows the
races. Mr.. Schwartz is now complain.
ing bitterly with his fingers because
his letters and those intended for
his renegade nephew become mixed
almost every day. These mistakes
h. 49,. g-l-
identical. He also says that-he-
hopes - the-presence-of - this
particular-letter - in-hiS-posSes.
sion-does-not- offend theta
dieS-becauSe while-it - is-ad.
dESssed-to-a - race-track-gam
bler-the - contents-are quite
harmless - being but -a-small-
from-the-dcntist.
keys fingers kept on working
nervously as though he felt it his duty
to wear them out. and the perspira.
ton rolled off poor Bunch's forehead
|. Tell him 10 cease firing said &c
Bunch: he'll sprail his fingers and
lose his voice"
key doubled up all his eight fingers
and two thumbs in one final shout
and subsidized.
I'm afraid we'll miss the AIS train
# We don't hurry" said Peaches. and
| could see that the storm was over.
although she still glanced suspicious
ly at poor key.
Buy key two more quarts OF
Green Seal and let him wade around
in it," / whispered to Bunch as We
started for the depot
As We pulled out of the Mayonnaise
Mansion | locked back at key 20
thank him with a farewell nod.
He was half way under the table
holding both hands to his sides. and
making funny faces at the carpet.
Bunch was ahead Of US. INDUCING
in another choke.
Copyright by C. W. Dillingham; COD
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22

en-. Il think when a man has lost 9
whole lot Of money in that manner
and then wins it back by accident he
should be satisfied and not tempt
Fortune again, don't you, Mr.. Bunch ?
Il certainly do" replied Bunch Wig
crously
oh. I'm all through I added. 81
wouldn't bet another dollar on a skate
not If they promised to hurry II
around the track in an automobile
not for mine.'
Clara J. patted me lovingly on the
back and Aunt Martha beamed over
her glasses.
Bunch was fixing his throat for an.
ether choke when suddenly my youth.
ful hrother-in-law, Tacks. came to the
surface with a letter in his hand.
Tacks had spotted the missive iy-
ing on the floor near keys chair, SO
young Mr.. Buttinski had to get busy
and pick il up.
Here's a letter I found on the
fioOr." he chirped, and then to show
the profound depths OF his learning
the little imp read the address in
slow. deliberate tones. Mr.. l..
Schwartz. Bookmaker. Brighton Beach
Race Track, New York"
Clara J. went into the ice business
right away quick.
key never whimpered
Then Bunch took the letter from
the open-eyed Tacks and leaped to
the rescue while | came out of the
trance slowly.
It's too bad Mr.. Schwartz forgot
his ear trumpet" Bunch said quickly,
and key was wise to the tip in a min.
ute
Clara ]. shifted suspiciously and !
knew she had the gloves on.
Mr.. SchwartZ's affection is terri
ble, she said with a chill in every
word How did you converse with
him before our ARRIVAL"
oh, he understands the lip Ian
guage and can talk back on his fin.
gers" l fastened to explain. looking
hard at key. whose mask-like face
gave no token that he understood
what was going on.
Il thought | understood you to say
Mr.. Schwartz is a real estate DEALER"
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22
LIVED LONG WITHOUT EATING
Men and Animals Have Made Some
Remarkable Fasts q Mat
ter Of Record.

The record for fasting. so far as
humanity is concerned, IS held by
GTanie. a French murderer. who de-
termined to starve himself to death.
and from the day Of his arrest refused
to eat. In spite Of every effort on the
part Of his warders. who first tried
tempting him to eat by placing the
most dainty meals In his cell. and
when that failed. attempted feeding
him by force. he held out for 63 days,
at the end of which time he died. Up
to then the longest authenticated fast
on REGARD was that accomplished by
Giovanni Succi, who tasted at the
Royal Aquarium. London. for IS days
But these records sink into insignifi-
canoe when compared with the fat
pig OF Dover. enshrined in Dr. W. h.
Carpenters Manual of Physiology"
This pig weighed 1SO pounds and was
en;omtol for 100 days by the fall Of
portion Of the chalk cliffs. When
dug out 1t weighed only 40 pounds,
hut to the surprise of its owner was
alive.
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22

lady. Peter tells me that there is
much cruelty TO animals practised ar
the race track so he has determined
10 do all he can TO stop it"
winked at Bunch and immediate
~ he began to cough till thought the
boy would choke would have given
eight dollars for a good excuse TO
laugh ont loud. Ikey took 1t all in
without batting an eye
Il think Uncle Peter is awfully good
and noble to devote his time 10 such
a worthy cause. don't you, Mr..
Buncn?" inquired Clara J. Bunch
mumbled something incoherert and
took another choke.
I'm so glad that John has really
made up his mind never to bet an
other penny on horses" Clara ]. went
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22
RAILROAD NAN WRITES
REMARKABLE LETTER

In 1903 and 1904, I was . terrible suf-
ferer for about five months with kidney
and bladder trouble. I could not sleep
nights and was obliged to get up ten or
fifteen times to urinate. / passed mucus
and blood continually. One doctor said
was going into consumption and gave me
up to die. Had two other doctors but re-
ceived no help from either of them and
en- sure would have been in my grave
had not seen your advertisement in the
DAILY Eagle Star" After taking several
bottles Of DR.. kilmer's Swamp Root vas
entirely cured.
In the last two years have been Q
railroad fireman and have passed two ex-
aminations for my kidneys successfully, %
that know that my kidneys are in ex-
cellent condition now a. . result of your
great preparation, Swamp Root.
Yours very truly,
GEORGE KENSLER,
1872 Mary St.
Marinette, Wis.
Personally appeared before me this 18th
Of September, 1909. George kensler, who
subscribed the above statement and made
oath that the same is true in substance
and in fact.
HENRY GRASS,
Notary Public,
i.s,.,,. Door County, Wis.
L y. KilnDP y e, i
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22
Birds Powers of FLIGHT.

1t has been calculated that a glid;ns
bird. at height OF 1000 yards. at the
moment when it commences to de
scenS With motionless wings. can By
setting them at the most favorable
angle touch the ground at a horizon
tai distance Of about Is miles. II the
wind fall. large birds can always
with few wing beats. attain an alti.
tude where they will find wind
which will permit them to continue
their journey on the glide"
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22
The Tragedy That WaSn'l

He raised the shining knife; his
face was dark. The woman before him
shrank back a step. The knife fell.
plunged into the flesh, again. and once
again
Then the woman spoke thickly:
There's plenty; they're such big
chops.
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22
EASTER foST CARDS. FREE

Send &C stamp for five samples of our
very hes, Gold Embossed, Easter, Flower
and Motto Post Cards; beautiful colors and
loveliest designs. Art Post Card Club. 73l
Jackson St., Topeka. Kan.
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22

Garfield Tea corrects constipation.
cleanscs the system and pur;fes the blood.
Good health : maintained by its use.
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22

ONLY ONE "BRONO QUININE-"
rhas Is LAXATIVE BROSO QClNINE. Look Cor
The signature Of r. ". GROVE. Used the World
uyer to Cure q Cold in One Lay. &c.
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22
Letter 70
~. Kilnse d e.
EisSAaatso, y. Y.

Prove What Swsmp-Root win Do For Voc
Send to DR.. kilmer l. Co., Bingham
ton, n. ", for q sample bottle. It will
convince anyone. You will also receive
q booklet of valuable information, telling
all about the kidneys and bladder. When
writing. be sure and mention this paper.
For sale at all drug stores. Price fifty
cents and one-dollar.
Loud apparel naturally proclaims
the man.
Smokers find Lewis Single Binder 50
cigar better quality than most l0c cigars.
No doubt the mind cure is all right
II you have the mind to begin with.
The Columbus journal., 1911-03-22
Amoco COLLEAGUES.

he thinks"
Impossible"
WHY"
.Ha ppver thinks