Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1911-08-21

| Aou oAAo "PPosAsS AAs'A
boy. 49,.
Jinks-1 don't. l didn't have to pay
my board then. -%~ ~ .
| PHILADELPHIA Bulletin: Boss-There
is $40 gone from my cash drawer,
Johnny; you and | were the only peo-
pie who had the keys to the drawer.
Office Boy-Well suppose We each
pay IS and say no more about it?
Washington Star: did you say the
fishing around here was interestingly
The fellow that catches one fish
breaks the record"
Punch: "Wot cheer. Arr" Yer
lookin sick; wot is it,"
Work! Nuffink but work, work,
work, from mornin' till night"
Cow long have yer been at it,"
start tomorrer."
Boston Transcript: Rural Cop
Hey, there, boy, yew can't fish around
here without a permit.
Small Boy-Oh, I don't know. I'm
gettin' along pretty well with this
Puck: Mr.. Willis-But why didn't
you take your handbook in to have 1t
balanced?
Mrs. Willis-I didn't want that
snoopy.looking cashier to know how
much money I've got there.
Harper's Bazaar: Howard-Did she
refuse you, old man?
Coward-Well, In delicate, in
direct way. She told me she never
wanted anything she could get easy.
TIE Club Fellow: She-1 dreamed
last night you bought me a new hat:
He-Well, that's the first dream OF
a hat you ever had that didn't cost me
money.
Toledo Blade: Percy-What are
you doing about your doctors advice
to take physical exercise, deah boy!
Adjective gone In for croQuet and
needlework, and have bought an cleo
trio wunabout, old chappie.
Chicago Tribune: Marie, what
was done at the meeting Of your liter
airy club last night?"
1--WE fined Mrs. Chillicon-Kearney
S. for accusing Mrs. Highmus OF
cheating at BRIDGE"
Detroit Free Press: "Your father
might have been rich man but for one
thing" ; !;
what was that, mother?"
HE was obliged to attend an extra
session of congress instead Of spend
ing the summer on the lecture plat
FORM"
Life: Randall-Was Spratt pop
ular man?
Popular! The only mourner at his
funeral was the insurance company
July Nppincott's: Lady president
What book has helped you most?
New Member:-My husbands check
book.
Chicago Tribune: Mamma. is that
lady the snake charmer? Why, she's
as homely as a mud fence"
Eyes, my dear. but snakes are not
like men. 1t takes something more
than mere personal beauty to charm
snake"
New York Tribune: Chief Counsel
Tho first thing to do is to get at
tho rot ~ tho tr0yh1e
Associate Counsel-The root Of the
trouble ia the late Mr.. Bigwad's for'
tune.
Chief Counsel Exactly. and we
must get It. =.
Washington Star: Clumsy Of you
to fall overheard" said the critical
friend.
Il didn't fall overheard replied the
man who never confesses to mis-
take, 1.-THE biggest fish ever saw
swan alongside and I couldn't resist
the temptation to dive for him.
Washington "Star: The cook says
she is going to leave" said Mrs. Cross
lots mournfully.
Are you sure she's in earnest,
responded her husband.
Eyes"
Nothing will change her mind?'
Nothing"
"All right, then I'll 60 down 20 me
kitchen and discharge her
Puck: Floorwalker--LookiAs for
anything sir?
Customer-Yes. for my wife.
Floorwalker-All right. sir put no.
ice in the Lost" column OF our daily
paper published on the thir;ythird
floor. second counte,. by o'clock, and
it will be on the corridors before 4.
Chicago News: Silas + hea:' some
wanderin' piano tuner Knocked the
stuffin' out of Hi Jones?
Hank-Yaas; ye know "Hat Teller
Hi is for gettin tn worth o his
money. Wall. he wanted the tuner
to throw in on oilin' o. tn windmill
and a repairin' O. the mowin' ma
chine, and all fer tn same money.
Pathfinder: No sir; l won't have
my daughter tied for life to a stupid