The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1911-03-17

A lot OF fellows are more anxious
today To- so to the front than they
would be to stay there, after six weeks
Of It,
ATchIsoN GLOBE SIGHTS.
Some liars are so persistent they
fool themselves.
No man was ever so busy he for
got when payday came.
Some men seem always to be look
ing out for a relief expedition.
Some men are so smart that they
can even sell an old typewriter
Many men. who consider themselves
as martyrs, are merely chumps.
Many people seem to think that the
simple life is n good thing for the
other fellow.
inflammation of the digestion" is
the way Count MCGOWAN described his
wifes recent illness.
Another thing we have never been
able to understand is why more jur-
ors don't get sick on the job
A woman likes to say of her hus.
band that she doesn't believe he ever
would get up if she didn't call him.
When a woman says she is getting
too old TO attend dances her feelings
are hurt if she is not contradicted
Why is it when you are lying awake
listening for the clock to inform you
of the time it always strikes the half
hour?
Very few men have an ambition
to make garden that grows as rapidly
as the weeds do when warm weather
comes.
When some men begin by saying,
when | was boy" there arc always
persons who think that what they ae
going to say may not be altogether
true.
While it is all right for woman
TO visit her kin, we contend mat she
shouldn't insist on her husband going
with, her. .
The most foolish man that ever
lived in Atchison was a fellow who
oiled the CRATE of his stove to keep
it from squeaking.
What has become of the oldfashion-
ed man who fastened his watch chain
to the little tab stitched % he bosom
of his shirt?
Il want a pair of ground grippers,
said Count MCGOWAN this morning,
when he went into a shoe store. lie
was after overshoes.
Still, it would help the average
outsider good deal if all the big talk
ers would wait till they got to the
senate before proving it.
Speaking Of cheap commodities, il
will soon be time for dandelion
greens, the supply of which is always
considered above the demand.
A young man who has been polish.
ing up on love-making forgets the art
as soon as he gets married-~if he b
a respectable husband.
In town this size about the only
question the women ask about the
new styles in hats is Are the hats
worn forward or back this year,"
While it isn't necessary to catch
cold in order to get free advice, you
probably can secure more Of it in that
way than by any other known method.
In the eyes OF parents, Group and
whooping cough and measles are mere
trifes in the matter of raising daugh-
ter when compared with the boy ques-
ton.
A boys idea of easy money is to
walk hundred miles, wait month,
and finally trap some animal, and sell
it's skin.
Poker, however, is not the only
game you can play in which the
chances are against you, and the rake
off large.
Marrying for money isn't as bad as
numbering for the same purpose, if
you happen to be casting about for
an argument in favor of mercenary
matches.
There may be exceptions to the
rule, but most smokers are inclined 10
be suspicious of the cigar that is
heartily recommended to them by the
dealer.
Next to telling what a fine old fam.
lily he belongs to southerner visiting
in the north seems to derive the most
satisfaction in telling how n northern
negro would be dealt with In his
town.