davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
GLOBE SIGHTS.

[From the Atchison Globe.l
There are always new ways of MAX
ing mistakes
To have some men defend you, is
about the same as being convicted.
Every funny man has it said of him
by his enemies that he is really fool
ish.
: "A train that is late is always later
than it is first marked up,'' a brake
man says.
Ever notice how hard it is to find a.
daily paper around the house that's
a week old?
81 never knew a willing horse that
could pull said an old-fashioned
farmer recently.
You can please almost any person
by telling him he has a bright look
out of his eyes.
There are some people you never
get thoroughly acquainted with until
they owe you money.
1t is right and proper that you
should have Hope, but don't expect
it to do the chores.
As a girl grows older and nearer
the discard, she isn't so particular
about being June bride.
I'D like that man better" said
Count MCGOWAN the other morning
If it wasn't for the size of his Wings
Some men can never understand
why their wives want them to get a
bucket of water right then and there.
No man could pay ransom for a
sixteen-year-old girl which would ap-
proximate what she thinks she is
worth.
1t is difficult to understand Just
what is eating" a man who has his
photograph taken with cigar in his
mouth.
When woman's favorite doctor
loses patient, she always explains
It by saying he was not called soon
enough.
Don't show your mean disposition
by being suspicious OF a man simply
because he happens to be more polite
than you are.
1t frequently happens that the AT
Rest notice on Fathers coffin is the
first label of the kind ever hung up
for his benefit.
Every employer says he believes in
paying man all he is worth. but not
many think about it until they are
asked for an increase.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
THE NOISY KICKERs.

The kickers always make more noise
than the other fellows. For years the
k1ckers have been denouncing the post
office department for it's extravaganza
and its habit of always having a de-
hc1t. Resolutions for economy and re-
trenchment were the regular order, the
country seemed to demand a reduction
of expenses in that particular depart
ment.
Postmaster General Hitchcock re-
sponded to this popular demand and
cut out a number of useless and I'M
necessary employees. He went at the
work of reforming the postal depart
ment like business man would a SINH
lar job in his own affairs. He got re-
suits and nearly if not quite wiped out
the deficit in the postal service.
Then the kickerS began again and
they said the reduction was wrong and
foolish. that the postal department was
service was being injured. All the en-
ployees who had been fred and all their
folks and their wives folks Joined in
the holler. A lot of people who never
get any mail except circulars from
Kansas City liquor houses chimed in
and you would think the country is in
arms against the retrenchment policy
of Gen. Hitchcock.
The great mass of the people are not
foolish and they appreciate the efforts
of Hitchcock to lower the expenses of
the postofice department. But they
cannot make near as much noise as
the kickers and congress is being call
ed on to save the employees and main
tain the usual postal deficit.-Hutchin-
son News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
KANSAS COANENT
OUT OF THE FRYING PAN.

It may. be said for the freak bill
which haunts the halls of legislation
and the minds of legislators that it
never does any good. If it passes,
people pay no attention. to it, and, if
1t doesn't it is the same so far as gen.
eral results are concerned. So many
OF them happen at the biennial silly
season. which marks the gathering of
the law makers. that ali are promptly
relegated to the joke class, and han
died that way forever after. There
fore, Chris Ritter, an lola attorney,
who has devised one that is better
than most, can hardly expect to go
past the joke column. Ritter does an
extensive divorce busin ess IN the
course of a days work. but he is high
minded, and holds the sanctity of the
home above gain. Acting accordingly,
he has investigated and arrived at the
conclusion that the principal cause of
marital unhappiness is not booze, nor
coat. Neither is it bridge whist or
vanished buttons. The Great Evil
which threatens to wreck the Family
as a, social institution is fried meat.
Dyspepsia follows with it's ensuing
crouch, in which the little differences
of the day are argued with flatircns
and half-Nelsons. Then comes the di
vorce as an effect rather than a cause.
So, in the interest of posterity and
harmony, Mr. Ritter proposes to make
it a nlisdemeanor to fry meat, except
fowls, which exception may help some
with the preachers, who are also great
divorce 1ghters-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
HYHAWKER JOTS

The man who never makes embar-
RAISING blunders misses a chance, says
the Jewell Republican, to learn some
thing that he won't forget.
It is pointed out by the Nickerson
Argosy that everything evens up all
ice in the summer time and the poor
in the winter
The Burr Oak Herald thinks that a
good, healthy pair of tumble bugs
could take care of the freight traffic
these days quite as efficiently as does
the Missouri Pacific.
Attention is called by the Mime
aplolis Better Way to the fact that
Daniel Webster is one of the janitors
in the senate chamber during the
present session of the legislature.
1--WE sort of wish they'd quit i'm
proving motor cars" writes Conner
Davies in his Concordia Kansan- I'VE
have good machine, all right enough,
but we want one of the latest i'm
proved cars now worse than we wished
for a car before we had one at ALL
1.-The postmaster of this town. -
writes Ewing Herbert of Hiawatha,
who is the postmaster, fell on his
porch, rolled down the steps and
scooted over the ice to his gate. As
he got up neighbor came along and
said: Why, did you fall ? oh, no,
said the postmaster, always leave
my house that way
Sent in to the Atchison Globe: Sew
eral bachelors and widower, in
North Atchison, celebrated the ami
versary of their birthdays Sunday
night. The celebration lasted until
after midnight, and was carried on IN
such a boisterous manner that people
living a block distant were awakened.
The birthdays of these men usually
come around once month.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
GFrom the chicago News !

[From the Chicago Newsl
Rumor travels on the path of sus-
picion.
Any cook is a good cock if you hap
pen to be hungry.
A running account often keeps a COL
lector on the run.
And many mans popularity begins
and ends with himself
Take things as they come-but leave
a little for the rest of us.
And it sometimes happens that a.
dressmaker ruff1es a customers tenn
per.
After getting his own way it is
sometimes up to a man to make
getaway.
If you haven't wind enough to blow
your own Aorn hire press agent.
The incubator has kept many an old
hen from brooding over her troubles.
A woman has as much faith in the
family physician as the husband
hasn't.
The average man is as fast with his
sympathy as he is slow with his purse
We once heard of a prominent citi-
zen in small town who actually did
not want to be postmaster.
Any girl who is able to weep at will
firmly believes that she was cut out for
an emotional actress.
And many man would rather nose
as the defendant in a divorce suit than
not get his name in the newspapers.
married woman can nearly always
md some consolation in the fact that
her husband admitted his love for her
'-DeIore they were married.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
LONDON.

For me no dark, deserted lane
with muddy footprints, leafleSs banks,
sui shops that shine the more for rain,
The friendly, flashing window-pane,
And watchful cabs in glittering ranks;
Ihose country lamps burn thick and
Beside the lights of London town.
That heavy golden plume, flung high
AS thought to challenge peering stars;
The whisk of light where 'staxis'' fly,
And grave Big Ben against the sky;
The moving lines of brilliant cars;
The great lifts moaning up and down
All these are ours in London town.
Like captured moons the pale arcs flare.
Fncker moment, dim. and blaze;
ADoVe each quiet, somber square
through evening wind, on morning air,
The distant drone of traffic strays;
Let other cities smile or frown,
Iheir magic fades by London town.
NO other voice our souls can fret
With such desire when memory calls;
The empire-circle widens, yet
LIS fartheSt bounds are Swayed and set
Here. where the flying message falls,
And all that empires fair renown
Beats in the heart of London town.
-Wilfrid L. Randall. in the Spectator
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
HUAOR OF THE Day

Mother-I suppose you'n be soldier
too, when you grow up, Billy? Billy-How
many hours day shall have to fightE-
-. Mrs. Nagleigh-I suppose you are salts.
YOU married I' m yo9 MaTieighmf '1 msds
mistake, all right but I'm not satisfied
Boston Transcript
What a blessing civilization has been to
the worldi Consider for moment the
bloody sports Of ancient Rome" why,
race?'-Baltimore American.
George" said her husbands wife, II
don't believe you have smoked one OF
day fhats i right. sG my % dea xe"f replied
them until our Wiiiie wants to learn to
smoke. Chicago News.
Maud--They say bridge is responsible for
a lot of nervous breakdowns. Beatrix-I
know 1t. It won't be long before Wen
have to go to an asylum for a really good
game.-Iife.
Weary whichever play chess2 Tot
But you don't have to move for a long
time Wei, yer got t move some
time hain't yer?'-Yonkers Statesman.
{. Lady Ito professor who has spoken
learnedly of the Atlantosaurus, Ichthyo-
How very interesting! But do you think
we can be really quite sure they were call
ed by those strange names?-Punch.
II hear they are building fIatsNnow that
are provided with disappearing furniture"
suppose that is for the purpose of pro-
vtding more ROOM THAT Is understood
to be the reason, but 1t will come in handy
to have such a flat when the tax acces-
sor makes his appearance.''-Chic Rec
ord-Herald
Georgee..Missus, they little pigs be all
dead! Missus-Lawks, Cargo! How did
they die? George-I think they died 'appy
missuS.-The Sketch.
Knicker-Do you think women would
vote for the best man? Bocker-Certainly:
the bridegroom wouldn't be noticed at all
Judges Library.
First Sportsman wonder you ride
brute like that at your time of life, Jack?
Second Ditto-Keeps one young, don't you
know. First Ditto-Likely to prevent your
getun' old, anyway.-Punch
Lady Customer-Do you keep coffee in
the bean? New Clerk-Upstairs, madam;
this is the ground floor-Princeton Tiger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Silence is virtue that more people
ought to cultivate.
Most opinions are valueless because
they are based on differences, rather
than facts.
The world would progress consider
ably faster if more individuals found
fault with themselves.
X <
The line between genius and insan-
ity may be exceeding fine, but that
doesn't signify that all crazy people
are geniuSes.
x **
A safe prophecy would be to the ef-
feet that ninety-nine per cent of the
New Years resolutions are nothing
more than memories.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
lFrom the New York Press. ]

IFrom the New York Press.1
Self-control runs the quickest as
well as the best race.
A man doesn't fool women; they
lust make him think he does.
Really the thing that makes people
hates work most is to get paid for it.
The trouble about travelling like a
prince is you have to tip like an en-
peror-
When woman wants to go out
and do things for the world it's sign
there's a lot more for her to do at
home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Just suppose those Russian dancers
at the Grand last night had been COM
PEELED to appear in dresses falling four
inches below their patellas. Their
shindigs would have been about as
artistic and interesting to look at as
a Virginia reel at huskin' bee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

For the first time since it has been
in existence, the vice presidency of the
United States doomed up as position
of tremendous importance the other
day. Vice President Sherman was
called on to cast the deciding vote
on three most important propositions.
One of these votes passed the ship
subsidy bill through the senate. It
will be out of order now to declare the
vice president fgurehead.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Instead Of taking the regulation
honeymoon trip, a Minnesota couple
of newlyweds. are going to take a
six weeks course of study at the ag-
ricultural college in that state Then
they are going to farming. All OF
which goes to show that some of the
young people of today are getting
o1ita sensible
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

And young Jay Gould, brother
of the 17-year-oId girl who is to be
bartered off for an English title, is go
ing to marry a girl whose mother was
a princess in the defunct royal fam
aly of Hawaii It does beat all how
the Goulds run to royalty. Anything
that approaches it even distantly ap-
pears to be plenty good enough for
them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Bank robbers are busy again in
Kansas, and the ease with which they
tap the vaults and get away with the
''long green" is little short of remark
able. Isn't it about time some effect
i've action was taken against them?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

AS the st. Louis Star puts it:
Charles H. Hyde, city chamberlain of
New York, who went into hiding
few weeks ago. and whose hide has
been fayed while he was gone, has
come out of hiding and hied himself
back to New York-which covers
nearly all the puns the writer's got off
on him in his absence. He has been
in Florida and is much tanned.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Chicago seems to be making pre-
parations already, to care for that
population of 1Oo.ooO,OOO it is going
to have a hundred years from now.
Plans are being made in the Windy
City to build the most elaborate sys-
tenn of subways that the world has
ever known.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

More than twelve hundred bills
have already been introduced in both
branches of the Kansas legislature
And a reasonable estimate would be
that that is just about LOO too many.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal IS a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news Is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

A French aviator succeeded in
carrying seven passengers the other
day in five minute flight in a mono
plane. About the only comment that
appears appropriate is that the pas
sengers were a foolhardy lot.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Now that hogs have died in Kansas
from the effects of warm weather dur
ing the beginning of February, any
thing else that may happen in the
SunfIower state need not be looked
upon as being unusual.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

If the Kansas legislators get as busy
In two or three months swatting flies
as they now are in 'swatting the ad-
ministration," Doc Crumbine's dream
of a hyless state will be speedily
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Both branches of the California leg
islature have passed by large ma
1orities, almost unanimous votes in
fact, a resolution providing for the
amendment of the constitution of that
state so that the women there can
enjoy their right of universal suffrage.
And the houses of the Kansas legisla-
ture have been setting similar reso-
luton aside as not being of much i'm
portance. Such propositions as pro-
viding a bounty for the ears of jack
rabbits appear to be considered as
paramount in the Kansas legislature.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

the professional progressives a sam
pie of progressiveness that has we'll
nigh taken their breath away.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

President Taft doesn't act like he
Is going to stand much fooling with
congress on his Canadian reciprocity
plan. He has given up his proposed
trip to the south, and rumors are
flying around Washington thick and
fast that if the present congress does
not act favorably on this reciprocity
proposition, the president will not
hesitate to call a special session of the
new congress to consider the matter.
President Taft was not invited to join
that new National Progressive asso-
citation. but he is now giving some of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
Platinum in Lanlps.

Before Edison produced a practical
carbon filament and thus made the in
candescent lamp a commercial article,
many experimental lamps had been
built with the h1ament made of a
single loop of platinum. sealed into
the bulb so that it's two ends projected
and made the terminals of the lamp.
AS platinum is fully as costly as gold,
it's price alone would hav- made its
use prohibitive. With the coming Of
carbon as a practical filament mate
rial, the use of platinum was re-
stricted to the short lengths needed for
passing through the glass of the bulb.
Even this length has gradually been
reduced, but so tremendous is the an
nual consumption of incand escent
lamps that the cost of the platinum
used for this purpose is estimated at
$500, 900. Efforts to replace the plat
mum with inexpensive metals or alloys
have not been very successful as yet,
but in view of the large saving that
might be effected a good deal of ex-
perimenting is being done along this
line.-Popular Electricity.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
FRON O7EER PENS
THE NoVELIsTs PLOTS.

Novelists sometimes evolve charac-
ters, sometimes depict them. That is
their way, their trade. A shrewd OBJ
server of society may note individual
peculiarities or eccentricities, which,
added to other qualities, make up q
piquant paper parsonage. If the nov
elist does not violate the sanctity of
private life in doing this, if the does
not painfully reveal identities, he may
successfully plead his art and his pub
lie duty in justification. All noveIists
have not fallen back even on these
pleas. Some of them, notably Dick
ems. have entered a general denial as
to their readers idea of identity. Dick
ems may have merely sketched some
personal peculiarities of Leigh Hunt in
Harold Slximpole," to emphasize his
purpose in describing the latter's
moral defects, without meaning that
the resemblance should go beyond the
delightful airy manner. There was
a great controversy, however. The
friends of Hunt were not satisfied, and
it is doubtful If Dickens was, either,
though a man who suffered under the
imputation of touching up the humor-
Gus possibilities of his own father was
not likely to be very exacting with him
self. Thackeray sketched many of his
acauaintances, but with a more deli
cate hand than that of Dickens. He
and Dickens were estranged with re-
gard to Edmund Yates whom Thack-
cray was thought to have pictured as
f"Tom Garbage" and all London club
dom took sides. These were all quar-
rels in which no fluid more vital than
ink was spilled. other writers who
have used real names have paid smart
money for their ndiscretion.-Boston
Transcript.
RAILROAD CONTROL IN TEXAS
Texas owes what it is to the railroad
pioneers who took a long chance and
Opened up that terra incogn1ta to
commerce and civilization. Today the
benefciaries of this investment of out
side capital are going as far as the
extr emes of populiStic Legislation per-
nit in the direction of embarrassing
and Gripping the forces which opened
the door of opportunity for them.
Already this hostile policy has brought
railroad extension to standstill and
restricted developm to one-Seventh
of the area of the state; but, instead
of the evil results being recognized
and avoided. the state railroad COM
mission has supplemented its harsh
methods by putting on the screws to
the point of conf1scatlon
Does any other word than confisca-
ton apply to the case where rail-
road is fined $4,000 if a train is late
at the end of 500 mile run ~
means of this strangle hold the rail-
road commission is enabled TO extort
$4,000 from the Texas & Pacific
road for failure to observe the sehed-
ule between Fort Worth and II Raso'
covering a period of "a days. The fine
| is probably i've times as much as the
earnings of the train amounted to. and
| yet it is not out of proportion 10 the
penalty imposed for infractions OF
long list of restrictive reguiallon nls
which are enforced, albeit they are IN
conflict with sound policy and COM
mon washington Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04
BLIND BROTHER.

Outside the gate you beg OF men
The coin they give to you;
Outside the gate ask in vain,
Yet I, a beggar, too.
Behold your eyes are wide and blind,
My eyes are quick to seel
Blind brother If they saw my heart
What would they give to met
Blind brother, it is dark without.
No stars burn IN the sky
And now hear the closing doors
And now the night birds cry.
Blind brother, will the hours be long
That you and 1 must wait?
Oh, do they know beg for love
Success
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Mother-I suppose you'n be soldier.
too. when you grow up, Billy? Billy-HoW
many hours day shall have to fightg-
Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Maud-They say bridge is responsible for
a lot of nervous breakdowns. Beatrix-I
know 1t. It won't be long before wen
have to go to an asylum for a really good
game.-Life
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

He becometh poor that dealeth with a
slack hand; but the hand of the diligent
maketh rich. Proverbs x 4.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

What a blessing civilization has been to
the world! Consider for moment the
| bloody sports OF ancient Rome why,
what's the matter with an automobile cup
| race?'-Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

George said her husbands wife, II
don't believe you have smoked one of
those cigars I gave you on your BIRTH
day" That's right, my DEAR replied
his wife's husband; I'm going to keep
them until our While wants to learn to
smoke. Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Mrs. Nagleigh-I suppose you are salts.
red now that you made mistake when
you married me? Nagleigh-I made
mistake, all right, but I'm not satisfied
Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Knicker-Do you think women would
vote for the best man? Bocker-Certainly:
the bridegroom wouldn't be noticed at all.
Judges Library.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

George-Missus, they little pigs be all
dead! Missus-Lawks, Cargo! How did
they die? George-I think they died 'appy,
missus.-The Sketch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-04

Weary Whichever play chess? Tot
tering Tommie-Naw; too much like work.
time" well, yer got T. move some
time, hain't yer?'-Yonkers Statesman.