davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

Travelling Salesman-Is there a
stationery store In this town. sir7
Station Agcnt--Well. most OF 'em
Is stationary until the next cyclone
blows 'em off. pard.--Chicago
News.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

Most Of our lila arc purely i'm.
aginary."
Yes. but when you eat mush-
rooms and develop tosdstood symp.
toms there Is usually something
more than Imagination To be- rcck.
oned with
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

A giri Ia Bucharest was killed
by her sweetheart because shs
xors a hsr.m skirt.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14
BENEATH The TABLE.

George--Didn't you notice that I
pressed your foot at the dinner to-
night7
Mazie-Why. II wasn't my foot
you pressed oh. George, won.
dered why mamma was smiling so
sweetly at the Michigan
Gargoyle.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

Madero has s7s.eoo. 900 In IN.
Mexican treasury.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

WHEN gas was first introduced in Cologne in 1923 there
was objection ground that the Lord wed the night
time TO be dark.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

To clear rooms OF flies. heat a
shovel and pour ON 20 drops OF car
bollc acid. The yapor will kill the
flies.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

The will Of Marie Broiasky. whc
died at ianscown.. Pa. aged so.
has been attacked and the petition
reveals some mighty queer stunts
she used to DO. Here are some /:
She affected masculine atyie
% dress.
She had 70 sets Of false teeth.
Sh. had a beautiful swimming
pool Ia her home. but always used
a tin tub Instead.
She used 10 bring her pet pony
into The houae and she had bis
harness hanged on a clothes tree
In the parior
she took her pct canary %
Europe for its health.
She learned 20 play the corne,
when IS.
She awoke her servants. at
a. az. and mad. them scrub floors
In their best clothes
She once maintained she had
eaten Fridays breakfast on Thurs
day night
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14
A pRoFITABlE puestJIr.

You say your son who Is In col.
lego Is quite writery"
Yes"
What does he write for-the
magazinea"
No: home for money."--An.
swers, London.
One OF Harvard's graduates this
year was named Aristides Evan.
Eelus Phoutridcs.
The strawberry was used as an
article OF food by the ancients.
IN A BARkls STATE.
Caller-ls your sister engaged.
my little mani
Little Man-No. but heard her
tell ma that she would be as quick
as she could get you to ask her
Baltimore American.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

When you finish moving the
lawn yoa can trim the trees. and
then you can hoo the garden. and
then
I'm sorry ever put this place
in your name. Now you can boss
me around ~ you please"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

NO FREE-HANp DRAWING
Father. We decided to be.
come an artist. Have you any oh
jectiong
Father--No: provided you don't
draw on me.--Boston Transcript.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14
HE KNEW WHAT THAT MEANT

Mrs. Exe--So you cured your
husband OF gambling. How?
Mrs. Wye--i warned him II he
lost any more money I'd discharge
Bridget and do the cooking myself.
Boston Transcript.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

I'D share my last match with YOU
old fellow" said George openfacs
"yca." replied Percy Sinnick
and keep tn. head end
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

xHHp y y ~ =
4 TIE REAL DOPE.
= II you want TO make a living.
= you have TO work for II. while
= " you want To get rich. you
= must go about IL In some
= other way.--Life.
= 4 4 ttt tttAt
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14
MOST ANYTHING
INFORMATION Hi0HBoy.
Conducted by Cynthyso Gay.
Gl~A
IL

"PIesse Tell me what IS puppy
iovcf"
Thus asked inexperienced Dove"
When you whine ~ the moon.
Make sheep's eye. and spoon,
These symptoms attend the above.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

Ethel Mary Hicks OF wsskegsn.
Wis. has never been abssnt or late
In her II years attendance nj
school
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14
Observations

MISSOURI factories made 26455s+ corncob pipes worth
e45O48 year. II took "a freight pull those pipes
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

Someone has said. very aptiy.
that he'd like 10 give HIS motherin.
law a vacation Ia tho Thousand
ialandn-a year on each Island
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

Who Invited hsr1
Tho dancing party at the Casino
last evening was attended By I
very pleasant evening
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

Bobby, you're shy a thumb.
Poor little mani
f1frcfnrkvtzT@ No. by Rami-~
Electric fan"
Chicago Tribune.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14
IN A aARkls STATE

The strawberry was used as an
article OF food by the ancients.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14
WHY NOT. SMILE AWHILE?
WE'LL NAMED.
MEANING A LoBSTERp

a. your mani" ~one who Is clever enough Ia make
d foolish enough spend it"-varicty Life.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1911-07-14

THE NEW INTERVIEWS SPRING
viii not sag or hammock; 1t is absolutely
noiseless. practically unbrcakable rust.
proof and perfectly sanitary. Made with
angle iron ends and tubular sides. The
Intervene fabric has helcals on both
ends. Regular price $500: special. 49,.
........ ............ ... $5.75
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09
vIII-HooKING AND LANDING.
By Charles stuart Moody-copyright

TVIHE BATTERY should consist Of no
more than two flies. Some anglers
Il employ three and even more. l sell
dom use more than one. two being the limit.
The leader should be at least six feet In
length and only heavy enough to hold your
hsh. heavy. twisted leader. besides be-
Ing hard 10 cast, frightens the fish.
Having selected the stream, the next
thing IS 10 fish II properly so az 10 obtain
the best results. The best success is had
by wading out into the water and fishing
upstream. The reason for this is that the
fish lie with their heads upstream and con-
ssquently can see the fly as 1t floats down
over them and cannot see the fisher. as
he IS nearly on a level with them, and be-
low.
Anglers have different methods OF ham
ding the fly. Some drag It across the
water, in imitation OF the insect struggling
to reach the shore: others cast and allow
The fly 70 float with the current. Both
methods have their advantages and the
novice will do well not 20 connne himself
10 either exclusively.
When the fish strikes hook him with
Slight snap. just sufficiently hard TO bury
the hook in his mouth. II he is large ono
ne will Immediately make rush for deep
water. Hold a stiff rod on him and let
MIN CO. Fact is. you will have some diff
Guilty In preventing his going. II there are
sunken logs or brush near be careful 10
Keep him from reaching these. Steer him
out into the open water A favorite trick
OF large trout IS 10 head for a rapid as
soon as they are hooked hoping, evidently,
70 free themselves by the force OF the cur
rent They will do Il. too. II you do not
prevent them.
Keep your fish in deep water ard let him
have little line dragged out stingily.
This will tire him sooner than running
around In a circle upon one length OF line
IL he keeps pulling and gains an inch or
TWO OF line now and then. he will the sooner
IRE When you find him gradually slack
ehing up on the line reel in. Be careful
mat he does not come toward you with a
itsh IN order 20 gain slack. then shoot on
s.ceWlse and tear the hook out II he
starts toward you. elevate the tip OF the rod
ana reel in rapidly. watching that he doeA
hot make his rush when the line is taut
ana Tree the hook in that way. In fact, TO
'ahd lusty trout the angler has 10 be
e"aKe about sixty seconds out OF every
minute after the hook sets. An instants
'eep' and your fish is gone.
Many fish have a trick OF breaking
water" Look out for that. A large trout
', bass will sometimes leap into the air.
snake Its head like q dog with bone. then
'an back, trying 10 fall across the line
s"a Jerk the hook out in that manner. II
~ Naps suddenly. lower the tip and let
..''h iali with a slack line, instantly raising
=" again as he strikes the water The often
ne Leaps tie sooner Is the baltic over.
re" leaps tire him worse than several
rotes OF fighting beneath the water.
ue hsh seem to know this, too. and leap
why as last resort.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09
Secrets Might Embroil Us

without the state secrets. deep and i'm
penetrable. The Census Bureau jealousy
guards the most sacred Of all secrets con-
hded to IT by millions Of citizens-the mys-
terry OF their ages The census employe
who discloses this or any other Informal
ton concerning an individual is liable 10
a fine of 500
And chock-full CT secrets is the chief OF
this departments bureau of corporations.
who Is authorized by law to investigate tho
conduct and management of trusts or other
concerns whose products enter into Inter-
state commerce. No authority except tho
President himself, can force this func-
tlonary 10 divulgo what he has CLEANED
concerning the transactions OF our male
factors OF great wealth"
Doubtless there has ever been too great
secrecy involved I'm our administration Of
government. But as you have seen, the
throwing open of the doors Of all Of our
federal council chambers would-while hui
man nature retains its present fraities-
result in continuous war and panic. And
until some panacea for personal greed and
international envy has been discovered and
effectively applied ofiicaldom must con-
tinue to transact a portion OF its business
behind closed doors. So state secrets are
liable to plague is and excite our imagi-
nations until the millennium intervenes.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09
AS BLIND AS DEAF.

Dr Nicholas Murray Butler, at
Luncheon at the Mohonk Peace Con-
eress. said with a laugh;
There is a type Of man who declares
,bo+ q will never be possible for man
kind to get along without war IhiS
TYNE OF man, whom nothing can con-
vince reminds me in his blind. stupid
obst,nacv OF a chap who once consulted
. famous Philadelphia physician about
his dyspepsia.
"The patient was very deaf The dia-
logue between the physician ana MIN
r8n like this: -.
"'What do you usually breakfast on :
"'Oh. no, At least two miles in the
morning and motor ride after iunch'
"'How many hours do you sleep!
"'Well. doctor, / was fifty-nine my
last birthday
care you married"
Thirst
with gesture Of Impotence 'ne
physician turned and wrote out n Simple
remedy for dyspepsia. The patent aS
he departed, shouted in the loud harsh
tones OF the very deaf:
Doctor, can you cure deafness
"The other shook his head in the neg
alive.
"'Well.' said the patient, you've pech
very kind and therefore I'm gong 10
make you n present OF this prescrlptioh.
He took a folded paper from his pocket
1T cured me-"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09

reach the top IS because once started You
have 10. The attendant won't let FAINT
hearts turn back. II be did there's no tell
ing what might happen. for while the stairs
are hard enough 10 conquer going up they
are throcfod as 1inlru't going down.
And now that you are at the top OF these
eccentric golden stairs, what have you
earned?
why. you have gained Tor yourself the
unqucstioncd right 90 slide down chute
to the great depreciation Of the seat OF the
trousers you brought along. Seemingly
these things were invented by some manu-
facturer OF mons clothing You have
three routes 20 select from. There are the
bounding pillows that rise and sag and give
YOU that dissatisfied feeling IN your stom-
ach. The other two are surprises. You
don't know what YOU get until you get IT,
one OF these latter IS about as bad as the
other. The first shoots YOU into the Wh'rl-
pool. which IS a great wooden bowl with
sides so smooth that when YOU climb uN
them until you get your finger nails within
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09

Chairman Of the Swimming Committee OF , ,n
Metropolitan Association of the Amateur
Athletic Union. ,,.,
Copyright. 1911 by G. J. Mar ruo''S"'''
~ comparing swimming with other
branches Of athletics, including rowing'
Il undoubtcdIy takes first place IN my
o,i,ion not only because IT offers the same
o1,,ortacos as an exercise and Increases
,ho development Of the body, but because
{, o,eo surpasses any other sport for the
.ao.or that swimming is a very great fac-
,or IN saving ones own life or the hVes OF
others I'm case Of danger from dro"hi"s'
We see much In newspapers Oh 'no
derful achievements or our halioh"' 49,
ming champion, G. NJ. DANCES VI ~"
York. which might lead us 10 DelieNe NC
,ce lead other nations In swihfh'hs' "' w
Az On track and field and many o'hef
sports 49, .....o.,,,o, Ga
rocret 20 say that this suppositoh u
for from correct. In glanclnB over "'o
sv,i,pming record lists all That can I s'''
60 tbat we have one or two men VINO are
a second or two faster than the ias'est
men OF any other country at snort ois-
tonces. but as long as competition III races
&c not the final aim Of any athletic orsah'-
cation, but merely one or the means 10
nromotes the sport. the fact mentioned
offers very little consolation.
In the general development OF swimming
as an exercise we of the United States are
very far behind the leading foreign coun-
tries, chiefly England, Australia and Ger
many.
II is interesting to diagnose the reason
for this condition. 1t Is lack OF facilities.
Now, what is the cause of this lack OF
facilities? Nothing less than lack of public
interest
In speaking OF facilities, l mean bathing
places which can be used by the average
citizen during the winter as well as In sum-
mer.
To what extent are our leading cities pro-
vided with such places? New York has two
small public baths which are open during
the whole year free OF charge. In many
other large cities conditions are not much
better; in some possibly worse. II is true
there are some Young Mems Christian AS
sociations and private clubs owning small
swimming pools. but these do not enter into
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09

from, active appreciation and become an
onlooker Let's try it.
pa,,so bere I'm the centre OF the floor for
q minute and give your ears the benefit OF
these sounds. The shrieks Of the dying
mlngle with the cries of merrymakers VINO
,,.isb tbov were dead. The music OF the
orchestra Jars and jangles with that or It's
connection. the automatic band. BarKers
bark. children scream and cry. You say
IL sounds like a monographs record OF the
Inferno? Impossible All these people are
having real money to enjoy themselves
and those sounds are merely the by-product
of their intense happiness.
What arc all those people Laughing a.
oyer there? All, the human roulette
c.b.cI-a second cousin 10 the pool taple'
Il ia a big. sleek. revolving hardwood disk
The fun Of It is to hop on ana let inc
centrifugal force Of the revolutions sing
Won carelessly into the trough with
bunch of other screeching unfortuha'eS
one virtue this happiness machine mas over
others In the place, and that Is II oAci'
onlookcrs displays of plain ana fancy
hosiery in well shaped use.
Come on. though Here IS another one
81 those big wooden soup bowls that you
get into and out again-if you are man
enough. on, It can be done all right. The
hest way is to start running in circle
BY widening your track a length at every
Ian YOU will ultimately find yourself out
Of IT, sure. its fun-it must be- can
YOU see all those perspiring young men
running around in It enjoying themselves
Justify?
There are other things along the same
, line. You may toll to the top Of a three
story tower. thereby earning the privilege
~ sliding down spiral chute. LOOK.
That portly woman who has just been all
the way mp with a baby in her arms and
two children holding her skirts is coming
down By the stairs again She must be
having "A great time, No?
There's something else over there. It's
4 new idea on the merry -go-round plan.
You will notice that il has seats for
women and is made OF circle OF bicycle
wheels with pedals The men get on and
pedal themselves and companions round
and round and round. See how hard they
are tolling and what intense expressions
suffuse their crimson faces. What's that?
Now. you know that idea Is ridiculous
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09

instruct their own members. or any one In
terested. i'm swimming and the art of life
saving.
In order TO undertake this a certain
amount of funds are necessary. These are
derived. in the first place, from member
ship fees However. the fees are usually
small as most OF the swimming clubs are
not patronized by the wealthy classes. The
principal income OF these clubs is obtained
from holding swimming races. at which
small admission fee is charged. Hardly
ever has case been reported 10 the gov
erning body of swimming clubs in England
that such funds have been used for any
other purpose than for the legitimate
promotion of sport.
How differently are such things done in
the United States Swimming here has
been carried on chiefly from the competitive
point OF view by wealthy athletic clubs un-
der a continued strain on the clubs funds.
The question, therefore. arises. What
should be done in order to bring conditions
I'm the United States nearer to those pre-
vaing i'm England? The simplest way
would be to construct swimming baths in
all the big cities through public or private
funds. In this respect municipalities are
I'm position to do many things which in
dividuals could not do. IL would not be
necessary that such public baths should
be open 10 the public at all times free Of
charge. They could be run on a business
basis, and thus pay the running expenses.
This would open the way to the organ
izatlon of numerous swimming clubs, and
perhaps, In the course of time. results
similar to those attained in England could
be obtained. These swimming clubs would
do their share " arouse public interest.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09
What | Know of Fishing


Having played your piscine captive 10 ex-
haustion, now you must get him into the
creel I have known anglers expert in ny
casting accomplished in playing their hsh,
who could not net "A fish 10 save them. do
not try 20 put the net over the fish, but
try TO put the fish in the net. Gently lower
the net into the water. below the fish,
which should be held with his head up
stream: wait for the water 10 open the net,
then let him gently float backward into
the open pouch. DO not make sweep with
vour net. and, above all things, do not try
10 net him from the head. He may be tired
out and ready 20 give up, but when he sees
the net coming he will bring all his reserve
energy into play to escape and about nine
times out of ten Will succeed.
suppose you are angling for smaller fry
and have no net, and should accidentally
hook a big one-what will you 90 then?
Tire him out as before, bring him alongside
YOUR leg, stand perfectly still, lower your
hand in the water and bring II upstream,
fingers on one side thumb on the other, OF
his back. If you move gently he VIII not
etir even though your fingers touch MS
bodv. Grasp him tightly right back OF the
ellis and lit with a sweep Of the arm DO
not atteupt 10 raise him straight up ana
don't fight with him II he gets leverage
with his tail fms he will break away.
Handle him so that he cannot get any solld
thing TO work against. In the air ne Is
helpless
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09

without which no pastime or sport can be-
come popular. There is an opportunity
right here for some influential and wealthy
men to do their share of pioneer work.
We have many who use their influence to
obtain greater facilities for Fairgrounds
and outdoor sports generally. Unfortu-
nately, swimming has been regarded by
them as a stepchild or some sort Of cast-oN
or necessary evil.
another way TO support the sport would
be 10 interest educational institutions 10
greater extent than has been done so far.
Some of our great universities have am-
pie facilities in the form of magnificent
swimming pools. which have never been
used 10 the limit of their capacity.
\ few reflections OF this sort are especial
~ appropriate at the beginning of the swim
ming. rowing and yachting season. Tho
audual toll in the way Of human lives ex-
acted BY these branches of sport might ba
reduced to almost nothing If proper facil-
tiles were afforded to teach those who enter
or sail on the water how TO swim.
] hope we shall be spared another Gen.
eral Slocum steamboat disaster, such as
that which occurred in the East River. New
York "a few years ago II New York had
at that time enjoyed the facilities which ex-
listed In London many persons then
drowned might not only have been able TO
save their own lives, but those OF many
others.
The long standing appeal to the public
authorities In England that swimming
should be made compulsory In public schools
has, unfortunately. no hope OF being taken
UP IN American cities for the reason that
the primary condition, proper facilities -
entirely lacking >.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1911-07-09

next that ten-year-old kid that can't keep
still
But look look, Maybe the kid is going
10 fall overheard. No-his mothers swift
hand saves him by the hem Of his white
duck suit
"oh. mamma" he pipes mistaken by the
fact that he has Just escaped a damp grave,
cook down there in the water! All the
becr is running out of the ship 80
Now. that point was well taken. you have
10 admit. The youth refers TO the salty
fosm churned up by the boats paddles. and
that bears a marked resemblance to the
cover Of a dry land schooner
DC we have 10 climb that perpendicular
gangplank to- reach the island? II seems
that we do And hark-observe how they
pile insult upon injury. The tar with
voice forty fathoms deep and half as wide
bellows at YOU the favorite encouragement
Of this fast age:
"s,ep lively, please. Step lively"
You had fondly hoped you had left that
behind in the subway along with other dis
agreeable things Of the steaming metrop-
oils that don't go in a days outing. But
10 II has followed you all the way-it is
On the job.
Observe the pier fishermen. Pioneers OF
the island tell Of a day lost in the shadows
Of dark antiquity when one Of these fisher
men caught fish. You had better take
that story with a grain Of salt, though.
and If the weather is wet unscrew the top
from the shaker.
There are some funny people in the
world, aren't there? But wait-you haven't
even seen Coney Island yet! So on across
the bstering boards to the greatest play
ground I'm the world-or in New York for
that matter.
On either side Of you the patient ocean
IS being thrashed into froth by the frantic
efforts Of teeming thousands who hope
some day TO be able 10 swim.