The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-01-28
BOWSER, HE BLUFFS.
But Mrs. Bowser Goes Him Several
Better.

Things had not gone smoothly at
the office that day and when Mr.. Bow
ser left for home he had a crouch.
AS he took the car man stepped on
his foot and refused to apologize. He
said he had got to step somewhere,
and if Mr.. Bowsers feet covered the
whole United States he couldn't help
it. Then the conductor had looked at
his nickel with suspicion. and a wom-
an had asked him why he didn't try
to take up three seats instead of two.
Who was to blame for all these
things? Mrs. Bowser of course. Who
should be talked to when he got home
and told what was what? Mrs. Bow
ser
Mrs. Bowser sat waiting. as all good
wives do. And like all good wives,
she read Mr.. Bowser's intentions the
moment he arrived at the gate and
kicked 1t open. Her mind was made
up on the instant. He had come home
primed for a row, and he should have
one. He banged the door open and
stood in the hall and glared around
to make up his mind where to be-
gin.
Ten minutes late again!" she ex-
claimed as she faced him. This is
the third time within a week, and I'm
getting tired of it. Is it that you have
to get off the car somewhere and take
drink? Don't tell me there was a
block on the line, for it won't go
down"
"By thunder, woman, do you know
who you are talking tor he roared as
he dropped his hat on the floor.
by thunder, man, 1 do!'' she re-
piled as she stuck out her chin at him.
You just come along down to dinner
and don't you dare find one word of
fault with it. Nice sort of a man
you are, to come home and bang open
gates and doors. I've got to have
talk with you, sir!"
ID
the dining room. He was too sur
prised to say more just then, but he'd
give it to her presently. and he'd show
no mercy. His opportunity came with
the roast. 1t was a fine one, but after
carving off a slice or two he laid down
knife and fork and said:
You've let the butcher swindle you
again! The fact is, and I've long
known it, you don't know a good piece
OF meat from an old pine boardn'
And do you?" was demanded Tell
me when you ever bought a piece of
meat that we could praise? 1 can't
remember. This roast is good enough
for you. and 1 don't want to hear no
more kicking at my tablet
'You-you know who YOU are talk
ing to do you?" he gasped
Il think I do, and don't you dare
come home again and kick my gate
open and bang my door, for 1 won't
stand it,"
He looked at her in a puzzled way.
Had she acquired the morphine habit
since he left the house in the morn
ing? Had her mother died and the
news unsettled her brain For five
minutes not another word was said.
Then he exclaimed:
There's Jumps in your mashed no.
tatoes! BY the great horn spoon. but
such cookery is enough to kill a doei''
But you have got fat on it! If Won
don't like the Jumps lay them aside,"
And the coffeei Mrs. Bowser, tell
me what you call this stuff"
call 1t good enough for you or
any other man that lives: but you are
not obliged to drink it Suppose Won
try cold water!"
"You-you are talking to me?"
Right to you, sir, and your name is
Bowser."
And you are not i'll? You haven't
lost your mind ?"
81 never felt better in nv life"
Then what was it? What had sud-
denly come over the humble Mrs. Bow
ser? Would joining a Woman's Rights
club have such an effect on her With
In few hours? He couldn't make it
out, but after dinner that and other
questions should be decided. She had
got out of her place and must be put
back. He had little appetite but Mrs.
Bowser remained at the table a omar
ter of an hour after he had left If He
had this time to walk about the Sit
ting room and get ready for the com
Ing Ddltle. mere would b. no dillv-
dallying. He would crush her at once
When she finally appeared he drew
himself up and said:
Woman, 1 have a few things to
say to you'll
Ditto, Mr.. Bowser You'd better
take a seat. A short fat man never
looks well when posing as a monu-
menti"
what! What! What" he shout
ed so loudly that the cook down in
the kitchen dropped the dishpan.
There, there, don't get excited 7
haven't even begun with you vet. Mr..
Bowser, the next time you find FAINT
with a meal cooked in this house Won
can begin to board elsewhere!"