davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
There Was a Goodness.

Two fashionable Philadelphia women
met In Chelsea one morning recently.
AS they shook hands and stopped to
speak Mrs. Brown said to Mrs. Jones,
That's beautiful hat you are wear
ing"
Eyes, my dear. Isn't It cunning? And
Pm so glad you like it. John gave me
the money, and had it imported from
Paris"
Next day little Susie Brown was
playing with the Jones girl. and she
said, my mother says your mother
has an ugly old hat what is her last
years lid made up new"
And when Mr.. Brown and Mr.. Jones
reached mutual friends. hoping to
spend the week end together, they
found GOODNESS between the fami-
lies.-Philadelphia Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
PIES FOR THE KING.
Ancient CUSTOMS That Are Still Kept
Alive In England.

Ancient Customs That Are Still Kept
Alive In England.
The city of Gloucester. IN England.
annually presents the king with pie.
Almost from time immemorial Glouccs-
ter until the year 1884 followed the
custom of expressing its loyalty TO the
throne by sending TO the sovereign a
lhmprey pie. In 1854 the custom was
suspended. but IT was revived in 1898
and has since continued.
Ii was felt that the year of the dia-
n,ond jubilee required some special ef-
fort, and therefore the 1897 pie, which
was In May dispatched to Balmoral
upon gold dish. was of n more than
usually elaborate character. This pie
weighed twenty pounds and was
adorned with trufiles, line prawns on
gold skewers and aspic jelly. On the
top was a representation OF the royal
crown and cushion. with a scepter to
which were attached streamers Of royal
blue, and at the base were four golden
lions.
BY the survival of an ancient Gus
tom the town of Yarmouth is bound
to furnish to the sheriffs OF Norwich
annually a hundred behring's baked In
twenty -four pies. which are then sent
to the lord of the manor of East Clare
ton, who conveys them to the king
Harper's Weekly.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
A Powerful Appeal,

Two Dublin bargemen were strolling
along beside the Liffey when they
saw a notice that any one who res
cued drowning person from the wa
ter would receive a reward of f5. IL
a dead body were taken out the re-
ward would be only 80 shillings.
1t seemed an easy way of making
money, so after thinking the matter
over for some time they arranged that
one of them would fall in and the 9th
er would rescue" him.
And then" Mike explained. well
share the f5 between us, two pound
ten each"
They found fairly quiet spot, with
nobody about, and Pat jumped into
the water. Only when he saw his
companion go down and come up gasp.
ing did it occur to Mike that neither
of them could swim. So he stood
rather doubtfully on the bank and
watched his friend go down and come
up again for the third time. Then a
faint voice called to him:
mike! Mike! For the love of hiv'
en-, save me, quick, or Wen only get
Is shillings apiecew
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

One of the most delightfully."- ludi-
crous enactments to be found in the
acts of parliament is the fifty second
of George H., chapter 146," which en-
acts that the penalty imposed under
it shall be given half to the king and
half to the poor of the parish, After
the act had been passed 1t was dis
covered that the penalty which the
act provides is transportation for four
teen years. The first intention was
that the penalty should be a fine Of
$500. On second thought parliament
substituted term of penal servitude.
But 1t forgot TO omit the clause pro-
viding for the division of the spoils
between the king and his INDECENT
subjects.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

There is no such thing as loss OF
matter or force. The so called con
servatlon" of matter and Its forces
was demonstrated years ago by Joule
and other scientists. When, for in
stance, a thing burns up" as we say,
the substances that give out the light
and heat are changed, not destroyed.
The wood or whatever the substance
happens to be becomes ashes and gas,
and If we could gather up all the prod
ucts Of the burning we should find
that they had not lost particle OF
their weight and that the form of them
only was changed. The eternity OF
matter was teaching of the old Greek
philosophers, or Of some Of them at
least, and the modern teaching of the
conservation or indestructibiity Of the
stuff of the universe would seem to
corroborate the ancient idea.-New
York American.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
A STORM ON GALlLEE.
Fierce While Il Lasted. II Went a.
Quickly as u Came.

Quickly as Il Came.
The sea Of Galilee is not always
calm. The mountains Immediately ad'
joinging II are 1900 feet high. and
through their deep gorges the storm
winds are sucked into the hollow OF
the lake. so that sudden squalls come
literally out of a blue sky. One charm
ing spring morning we started out TO
sail from Liberals 10 Capernaum.
There was not a ripple. on the water
or a cloud In the heavens. But when
we were a quarter of mile from
shore out boatmen noticed band Of
rough water rushing toward us from
the other side of the lake. In spite
of our remonstrances they Immediate
" gave up the plan for making Caper-
naum. took down the sail with such
frantic haste that they nearly upset
the boat and then rowed for the land
with all their might and with such ex-
cited urgings TO one another that we
thought them a cowardly crew. But
hardly had the boat been beached in a
sheltered cove when the wind was
bowling down on us from the noun.
tains and the heavy breakers were
foaming along the shore as far out
into the lake as we could see. A quar-.
ter of an hour later the sea Of Galilee
was again as level as a mirror, and
only a soft, warm breeze was blowing
over the smiling waters.-Travel Mag
aZine.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
The ="
Scrap Book
A Real Crouch.

There il In Washington an old
Crouch" whose son was graduated
from Yale. When the young man came
home at the end OF his first term he
exulted I'm the fact that he stood next
90 the head of his class. Bat the old
gentleman was not satisfied.
Next 10 the headw he exclaimed.
"What do you meanf I'd like 10 know
what you think I'm sending you TO
college for? Next TO the headl Why
aren't you at the head, where you
ought TO be-"
At this the son was much crest
fallen, but upon his return he went
about his work with such ambition
that at the end of the term he found
himself in the coveted place. When
he went home that year he felt very
proud. 1t would be great news fol-
the old man.
When the announcement was made
the father contemplated his son for q
few minutes In silence; then, with d
Shrug, he remarked:
AT the head of the class, eh? Well
that's "A fine commentary on Yale uni
versity. "-LlppincOtt
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
SEWERS OF PARIS.
How This Great System Swallows Up
the Litter of the Streets.


The Paris sewer system is said to be
the finest in the world. The Observant
visitor in the French capital soon
notices that its people have somewhat
different ideas from ours as to the use
of sewers, for he will see porters throw
big bundles of paper down large open
ings left in the curb, and even rags
and garbage.
On Shrove Tuesday there is car
nival along the Paris boulevards.
From noon to midnight the crowd
throws paper confetti in such guam
titles that the broad streets are COW
cred with many tinted paper snow
when the last jewellers leave for home.
The visitor wonders how this mess Is
to be cleared up. In the morning, how
ever, every scrap is gone II he had
stayed out late enough he would have
seen the litter swept and washed right
into the sewers.
Perhaps that takes him underground
to visit them, one of the sights OF
Paris. There are nearly 1000 separate
channels, some great aqueducts navi-
gated in boat with walks on either
side. They carry the telephone and
telegraph cables, electric light wires,
gas mains and pneumatic letter tubes.
Telephone Review.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
Inhn Runxan,s Indictment.

The bill of Indictment preferred
against John Bunyan ran thus: John
Bunyan hath devilishly and pernicious'
.y abstained from coming to church to
hear divine service and is a common
upholder Of several unlawful meetings
and conventicles. TO the disturbance
and distraction of the good subjects
of this kingdom. contrary to the laws
of our sovereign lord the king" He
was convicted and imprisoned twelve
years and six months.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
A Great Comfort.

In rural New England districts the
telephone takes the place Of tea In the
city as place where women gather
and retail gossip. Walter Prlchard Ea-
ton in American Magazine tells the
following story:
"It's great blessing, specially If
you're on party line said our hostess.
And we're all on party lines! Wait
"She went to the instrument, called
a number and remarked: What you,
Bessie? What's this | hear bout you'n
Jim breaking it OFF,
1--WE watched her smile as she listen.
ed to the answer. Then she said:
How'd hear it? Why, Mrs. Asa Par
ker told me-
"She held the receiver free of her
ear and beckoned us close. We heard
distinctly an indignant voice exclaim,
why, Sarah Bowers, | never said no
such thing!
"I thought I'd catch her. said Mrs.
Bowers when the telephone CONVERSE
ton was closed. AS I told you, the
phones a great comfort to us allv"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15


All manner Of devices have been en-
ployed to mark a line Of march, put u
is thought that the most curious
method Of blazing the trail Is that
stilI TO be seen In Africa. In the
year 1859. after a fierce battle Win
the Abyssinians. the deryishes pur'
sued their foes as far as the lake uis,
frict. The mahdrs men had sman
knowledge Of geography and little TO
geographical intelligence. So the au-
vance party, I'm order to marx tue
route for those who came after ana
also to guide the force on their return
tourney, twisted the saplings along the
way into living knots. The war end
ed. but the tied up trees grew ana
nourished, although uncouthly twisted
and distorted, and are now the ohls
reminders Of that uprising Of the der
gisheS
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15


His name was Johnny, and his ambl-
ton was to be grown up. He had
watched Cissy and Percy, but that's
another storiette, as Kipllng says.
Papa" he piped as he walked with
his dad on the beach. whats under
those rocks"
"Limpets!' snapped papa. This was
not the first question.
Wouldn't they rather walk about,
pa?"
Nor raped out pa. They prefer
to cling where they are!'
us everything that likes clinging to
something else limpet. pa?"
For goodness-yes!' roared father.
Johnny thought.
well, pa" he concluded, "ls Percy
a limpet, pa, when he says goodby to
Cissy in the passage"-London An
SwerS.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

At certain college in Scotland the
male students were not allowed to Wis
II the resident lady boarders. One day
n male student was caught in the act
OF doing so and was court martialed.
The rector. addressing him, said:
"Wen, Mr.. -, the penalty for the
first offense Is 2s Cd, for the second
5s., for the third Is. Cd, and 90 on
rising half crown each time up tc
Is"
In solemn tones the trespasser said:
"How much would a season ticket
costT
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
No Need to Stop Work

When your doctor orders you u stop
work, it staggers you. 81 can't, you
say. You know you are weak, run
down and failing in health day by day,
but you must work as long as you can
stand What you need is Electric
Bitters to give tone, strength, and vigor
to your system, to prevent breakdown
and build you up. Don't be weak,
sickly or ailing when Electric Bitters
will benefit you from the first dose.
Thousands bless them for their glorious
health and strength. Try them. Every
bottle is guaranteed to satisfy. Only
soc at j. w. Thurston's.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
Common Colds Must be Taken
Seriously

For unless cured they sap the vitality
serious infection, Protect your children
and yourself by the prompt use of
Foley's Honey and Tar Compound an
note its quick and ecisve results For
coughs, colds, Group, whooping cough,
bronchitis and affections of the throat,
chest and lungs it is an ever ready and
valuable remedy,-John w. Thurston
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

According to John Lattimer, a clerk
at the Seelbach hotel, n big Chicago
travelling man, while stopping in the
city recently tried to call little south
ern Indiana town by long distance tele-
phone. He was informed by the girl
on the switchboard that the call would
cost him % cents. Immediately he
raised strenuous kick.
"say," he shouted, 'in Chicago we
can talk to hell and back for Is cents"
"Well, l know" came the calm and
unruffled reply back along the wire,
"but that's in the city limits."- Louis.
vile Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
HeIped Out the Code.

A Boston oil man was putting down
a well in virgin territory. He was
keeping the fact profound secret in
order to secure leases without diff
Guilty If he got a good well. But he
arranged a code telegram to be sent
him as soon as the drill reached sand.
In order that the news might not leak
out at the telegraph office he told the
driller that the sentence pine trees
grow tall" would mean that he had
struck OIL The driller promised to
follow instructions. In a few days the
telegram arrived. 1t read: pine trees
grow tall. She's squirting clean over
the derrick
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
In tho M atch Linz

when Edwin Gould took up the
manufacture Of matches seven years
ago." said New York banker, "his
friends were good deal amused, and
many a joke was cracked at Mr.
Gould's expense.
Il remember one June day at an
open air luncheon at Tuxedo superb
four-in-hand dashed around turn of
the road, and we al looked up from
our Strawberries to admire 1t.
That is Mr.. Gould's team,' said
some one. who is drivingr
"'Mr. Gould himself lady answer
ed. Doesn't he look striking on the
boxY"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
A Dreadful Siqht

to II. j. Barnum, of Freeville, N. Y,
was the fever sore that had plagued his
life for years in spite of the many
remedies he tried. At last he used
Bucklen's Arnica Salve and wrote, sit
has entirely healed with scarcely scar
left. Heals Burns, Boils, Eczema, Cuts,
Bruises, Swellings, Corns and Piles like
magic. Only 25c at j. w. Thurston's.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
Hot Air as a Polisher,

Hot air Is used for polishing The
articles to be treated are placed in a
basket In centrifugal machine driven
at a very high speed and heated air is
blown from pipe through the basket
A high polish is thus produced very
rapidly. Nickel plated articles that
have become furnished are made bright
In few minutes Wet metal, fresh
from the bath, needs no preliminary
dying, for the current of air dries and
poIshes it at the same moment.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
FoIey's Honey and Tar Com
pound

Still retains its high place as the best
household remedy for coughs aud colds,
either for children or grown persons.
Prevents serious results from a cold.
Take only the genuine Foley's Honey
and Tar Compound, and refuse substi-
stutes.-John w. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
APES OF GIBRALTAR.
Highly Priced and Carefully Protected
by Martial Law.

7Ighiy FRIED and Carefully Protected
by Martial Law. ...
Major is the name of the chief Of
the highly priced and carefully pro.
tected tribe of Barbary apes that in.
habit the rock of Gibraltar. There is
a saying in the fortress to the effect
that 1t were better to kill the gov.
ernor than Major"
There are only about twenty left of
this band Of monkeys, which in some
mysterious manner came over from
Africa many years ago and claimed
citizenship in Europe. They are pro.
tected by martial law, and any add.
ton by birth to their number Is care
fully chronicled and announced In the
local paper. The apes change their
place of residence from the highest
peaks of the rock to lower and more
sheltered portions and back again, &C.
cording to the state Of the weather.
They show their sense of humor by
throwing stones at the soldiers. but
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

"Has Temmie been good boy since
I've been outW said the mother.
mo, he hasn't" replied the father.
did you punish him2"
mo"
"Oh. yes, you did, pop! Don't you
remember you sang to me?" came
from the boy.-Yonkers Statesman.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
Before You Reach the Limit

of physical endurance and while your
condition is still durable, take Foley
Kidney Pills. Their quick action and
positive results will delight you. For
backache, nervousness, rheumatism and
all kidney, bladder and urinary troubles
John w. Thursten.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

they are often not seen for weeks at n
time save in the early morning.
A few years ago. on account OF the
diminishing numbers 81 these animals.
some apes were procured from Bar
barry and turned lOose upon the rock.
But resident monkeys Killed them all
Although SO fierce TO iniruders ~ their
own kind. they never attack human
beings aud art greatly beloved and
esteemed.-New York Press
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
Be Strong.
Re strOngl


We are not here to play. to dream. to
drift.
We have hard work to do and loads to
lift
Shun not the struggie-face 1t. IT'S God's
gift.
Be strong!
Say not the days are evil-whos to
blame?-
And fold the hands and acqulesce. On,
shame
Stand up, speak out, and bravely. in Gods
name.
Be strong!
1t matters not how deep intrenched the
wrong,
How hard the battle goes. the day how
long.
Faint not fight on! Tomorrow comes the
song.
Unidentified.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
AN AFFAIR
OF HONOR
By THOMAS r. DEAN
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation, 1911.

The civil war gave those who par.
ticipated In it all the lighting they
wanted for many year to come-in-
decd. for the rest of their natural
lives-but 1t let its effects In differ
ent way on many boys who were too
young to fight for the Union. Peter
Briton was seventeen years old when
the Confederacv collapsed, and he ever
after regretted that the fight hadn't
been kept up long enough for him to
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

A drunken man who sought to buy a
ticket at a thcater box office was de
MED the privilege.
whats matterf" demanded the ap.
plicant What's matter with me?''
well, If you really want to know
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
Hard ,,ok C{or,ae

II don't like to listen to hard luck
stories, do you?"
"That depends on whether they are
"reminiscences or the preliminaries to
a touch. "-Washington Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

Hope is flatterer; but the most up
right of all parasites, for she frequents
the poor mans fiat as well as the pal
ace of his superior.-Shenston
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
a Diplomat.

Little wille-Say. pa, what is diplo-
mat? PA diplomat. my son, is a
person who can prove man liza.
without calling him one.-London Tit
RitS
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
4 svitv In Court,

Judge-You saw the prisoner steal
the sheet OF music. What happened
next? Witness-Then he walked out
OF the store with an distracted air.
your honO..-Boston Transcript
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15
Foley Kidney Pills

Will reach your individual case if you
have any form of kidney and bladder
trouble or urinary irregularities. Try
them.-John w. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

WHOLESALE AGENTS FoRnn
Hobert ]. STANLEY * Co., Burlington -.
White River Paper Co, White River I"''"
Buswelps Book Sore, Montpelier
Argus and Patriot Co. Montpelier
Randall s Whitcoinb, st. JohnsbuFy
Clapp & Jones. Brattleboro
New England News Co.. Boston mss ,,,,s
For Sale by all booksellers and Ne"S''"'"
in Vermont
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

No great thing is created suddenly
any more than a bunch Of grapes or
fig.-Epictetus.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-09-15

responded the keeper of the box office,
you're drunk" The frankness of this
reply had rather SOLDERING influence
upon the playgoer. He gathered up
his money with dignity. "Of course
I'm drunk" he said cheerfully as he
turned to go. II wouldn't come to see
this play If were sober, would I?'
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1911-01-28
THEY ARE COMING

Mrs Henry, field secretary of the
Inland Waterway Association, receiv-
ed a letter from Secretary H. II. Rich
ardson of the Jacksonville board OF
trade. saying that both himself and
Mr. Arthur D. Stevens. of the Merrill
Stevens Company .ship-builders OF
Jacksonville, and important factors in
trans, ~tation matters in his state,
will be here Monday night to make
addresses at the meeting to be held at
the Woman's Club room, on the great
project of a canal across Florida
Mr. stevens is president of the Du-
val County Waterway Association.
Both are thoroughly posted on this
subject and impressive and effective
speakers.
These distinguished citizens and
speakers come to Ocala to interest and
enlighten us on vital commercial
proposition at the instance of Senator
Fletcher. who is president of the In
ternational Waterway Association.
and whose heart and soul are in the
| great work.
! Now. people of Ocala. can YOU af-
ford to have these leading citizens
come TO our city TO further project
| in Ocala and Marion county, and not
give them packed house? For once
we appeal to YOU to show by youl
presence what you sanction by your
words in everyday conversation AND
comment on this subject. May We no
! appeal in vain.