davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
Apply to the Cashier.

A timid knock. a gruff Come ini"
and the tear-stained, new office boy
stood before the manager.
''P-please, SIR" he blubbered.
The manager looked up sharply.
"P-please, siri" he blubbered again.
well, WELL" asked the manager,
what is it?''
''P-please, sir, l upset a p-packet of
envelopes said the office boy, dab
bling his streaming eyes with his coat
sleeve. land the c-cashier k-kicked
mel"
/"Good gracious. my lad!" snapped
the manager irritably. you don't
expect me to attend personally to ev-
cry detail of business, do you?"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01

always was called David and SO the military acad-
emy held friendly David and Goliath thereby
establishing a better record for amity and friend
liness than that contained in the Scriptures.
When the army engineers went to Panama to
take charge of the work they knew that In order
to make progress with the digging they must have
contenied family of laborers. They also knew
that they must maintain discipline. In the army
discipline is maintained matter of course,
the men who enlist knowing that they sub.
init themselves without question the proper
orders of their superiors
The who work on the Isthmus OF Pan.
anna are mostly civilians and Colonel Goethals
and his assistants knew that they would resent
anything like army disciplinary methods even
though they intended for their benefit and
would prove their worth. Goethals is a
most tactful man. With his assistants. he secured
army discipline the isthmus without allowing
the civilians even to appreciate that gradually
they coming under the guidance of rules
laid down for men who the uniform of the
service The army officers worked at first in a
suggestive way Men were directed to try" GER
tain things and how they out
Trial was made and then other suggestions
made and finally the big working force
with time for regulated recreation, and that it
possible to get pleasure out of existence by
other means than by drinking it in. Sugges.
ton rather than command made a Disciplined
force out of the forty-odd thousand laborers.
There probably is not a healthier place the
face of the earth today than the canal strip of
the Isthmus OF Panama.
Colonel William c. Gorgas of the medical de-
partment of the United States army is the head
of the department of sanitation the isthmus
Under his direction disease virtually has been
killed and fear itself has been set at defiance
4 A large part of the food for the isthmus is
purchased in the United States and it is shipped
under the most favorable conditions. paper
called "The Canal Record" is published at fire.
quent intervals and its last page is devoted to
a list of the food which can be obtained at the
commissary department, with the prices affixed.
Living the isthmus is just cheap II not
cheaper than 1t is in this country and the food
is of the highest possible quality. Many of the
civilian employees constituting clerical and engi.
neering forces have taken their families to PAN
anna. they have fine quarters and they buy thei.
food virtually at cost price.
The army its metal when it put in
charge of the Panama canal building. Thus far.
admittedly its work has been nothing short of
wonderful in all lines of isthman endeavor. 1t
may be that President Taft's prophecy will not
come true and that the canal will not be opened
until 1915 but 1t should be remembered that the
latter date is the set for the opening by
Colonel George w. Goethals the enginer-in-chief.
1t is probable however. that he hopes to see the
procession of ships. with the old Oregon leading.
pass into the great waterway some day within
the next two years.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
Z7z7aAhx ~ MON HoSa1N 01e0ll,RJ

canal purposes. the United States had malevolent
territorial designs toward all Central and South
America
No one had any conception that progress on
the canal would be as rapid as It has proved to
be- Much more time spent in talking prior
TO the beginning of operations than has been spent
since In digging. Now that 1t is long in the past,
the country is perhaps forgetful. but 1t may be
OF interest TO remember that for many weary
months the congress of the United States gave
itself over to debate. discussions and even bick
erings upon the relative values of two routes
the waterway the Nicaraugan route and the Pan
route.
Senator Morgan of Alabama who died a few
years ago. was advocate of the Nicaraugan
route He was old at the time that he
undertook to voice sentiment and argument or
behalf OF the northern waterway He
worked night and day, studying the questions in
volved from every possible viewpoint and the long
speeches which he made the matter in hand
written almost entirely by his hand
He indefatigabe in labor. and what he did
on behalf of the Nicaraugan route and on behalf
of the waterway scheme generally is best told
in the words of Senator Jonathan F. Dolliver of
Iowa Dolliver. like Morgan. is dead The Iowan
in favor of the Panama route. while the
Alabaman was in favor OF the Nicaraugan route
The two men were opposed to each other polit-
ically, but they were personal friends. When bit
DISAPPOINTMENT came Morgan in the final
defeat OF the Nicaraugan project, Doliver rose in
his seat and paid this tribute to his aged col
league
toric figures connected with this canal contro-
veTsy lie may be the man who began the
discussion, but for nearly a generation he has
kept IL up No man has exhibited within
knowledge any such marvellous industry. energy
and sagacity as he has put into the argument for
the Ncaraugan canal. Day and night he has la.
bored. not with the assistance of others. but per
sonally often with his pen writing the
speeches which have become the chief part OF
the agitation which has resulted in unifying public
sentiment in the United States in favor of the
canal.
'I regret more than say that he dis
appointed in his personal ambition In respect
TO the route that finally was chosen, but that
does not prevent from adding that long after
the little controversies of this hour forgotten
his will be connected in immortal reputa-
ton with the Isthman canal, wherever 1t is built
Few people probably have forgotten the first
attempts of President Roosevelt and Secretary of
War Taft to secure the service of civilian engi
neer who would stick at his post until the Panama
canal dug Three great engineers, one after
another. resigned their positions engineers+n-
chief
1t is perhaps useless to discuss the causes which
led to the designations of the civilian engineers
All sorts of stories told. from the fear OF
yellow fever to inability to maintain discipline In
the working forces. II is probable that one eng
neer's ears tingled for a long time with the
buke which given him by Secretary of War
Taft. who Is the president of the United
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
BABY's ECZEMA AND BoILs

"My son was about three weeks old
when / noticed breaking-out on his
cheeks, from which a watery SUBJ
stance oozed. A short time after, his
arms. shoulders and breast broke out
also. and in few days became solid
scab. l became alarmed, and called
our family physician who at once pro-
nounced the disease eczema. The lit
tie fellow was under treatment for
about three months. By the end of
that time, he seemed no better. / be-
came discouraged. l dropped the doc
tors treatment, and commenced the
use of Cuticura Soap and Ointment,
and in a few days noticed marked
change. The eruption on his cheeks
was almost healed, and his shoulders.
arms and breast were decidedly bet
ter When he was about seven months
old. all trace of the eczema was gone.
During his teething period. his
head and face were broken out in
boils which l cured with Cuticura
Soap and Ointment. Surely he must
have been great sufferer. During
the time of teething and from the time
! dropped the Doctors treatment,
used the Cuticura Soap and Cuticura
Ointment. nothing else, and when two
years old he was the picture of health.
His complexion was soft and beauti-
full, and his head mass of silky curls.
had been afraid that he would never
be well, and / feel that / owe great
deal to the Cuticura Remedies"
(Signed) Mrs. Mary w. Ramsey. 224
E. Jackson St, Colorado Springs, Col,
Sept. "a. 1910. Although Cuticura
Soap and Ointment are sold by drug
ygists and dealers everywhere. sam
pie of each. with 32-page book. will be
mailed free on application to "Cuti'
cura," Dept. L, Boston.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
Plenty of Such Men.

"What kind of life insurance policy
is yours?"
"Twenty-year plan"
"How long have you been paying
premiums on it?"
Fifteen years"
"Then at the end of twenty year
do you get your money back or merel
a paid up policy?"
"Why-er-Fve never really read
through yet, and I'm not sure abV
that. You know how fellow puts
such things, and-er-"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
HOMESEEKERS ExcURSI
RATES TO TEXAS AND NEW
MEXICO POINTS DUR
ING 1911

On the first and third Tuesdays Of,
each month during the entire yea
The Colorado and Southern Rail-
way will sell round trip homeseekers'
excursion tickets to a great many
points in New Mexico and Texas at
greatly reduced rates. Final limit
25 days allowing liberal stop-over
privileges. For detailed information.
rates, etc, call on your nearest Colo.
RADIO and Southern agent or address T.
E. Fisher. General Passenger Agent.
Denver, Colo.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
Some Vocabulary.

"Did you learn any French while
you were in Paris?" asked Bildad.
meeting Slithers shortly after his re
turn from Europe.
"Oh. little" said Slithers; mot
SO very much. though. l got so L
could say cigarette in French"
Good" said Bildad. What is ci
garette in French?"
"Cigarette," said Slithers.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
Some Peroratin'.

In making a peroration before
raptured bearers a speaker said:
We must not be content but IN j
advance. We must go on and on.
mi st reach higher heights, broy
breadths and deeper depths"
A village evangelist was improvis-
ing in prayer and presently stumbled
into pitiall.
"Oh. Lord he prayed, Make the
Incorporate temperate: make the un-
holy holy; make the Industrious dus-
trious.'
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
Wants to See It.

81 done heard it read in de paper
said Uncle Raspberry. 'dat some o
deshere flying machine gemmen says
a man kin do anything bird KIN,
That's what they say"
well, when any of 'em sees hu-
man sit fas' asleep holdin' onto tree
branch wifi his feet, sho' wishes dey'd
call me to have look
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
Kind Parent.

Dad" said young Jack Shiftless -
Old Bill the other night, 81 want to go
to the show tonight" "a show at night
is no place for a kid like you,' said
Bill. You should be at home in bel"
But peddled bills and have two
tickets" said Jack, as he began to
sniffle. "All right, then" answered
Old Bill, 81 will go with you to see
that you don't get into trouble"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
HzZlLIE LO(HsS At GHzZW

of the independence
OF Panama. an over
nj g hit proceeding"
which made 1t possi-
BILE for the United
States to enter into a
treaty with the twelve
hour old republic
which would allow op-
erations TO begin at
once. Colombia has
not yet forgiven us
for giving the Pana-
mans recognition. Mr..
Roosevelt said that II
Panama had contin.
ued under the rule
of Colombia the canal
still would be a
dream. for the Colon.
bians simply. temper
lied with us and act.
ed as If they thought
that in seeking the
strip OF land for
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
Works Both Ways.

"Mr.- Wombat, must leave you to
get married. | know great many
girls leave the firm to get married
Still, hope you can fill my place."
"That will be all right. We have
waiting list of ladies who left us TO
get married, are now tired of tfeir
husbands and would like to c
back"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
An Early Frohman.

First Medieval Manager-How's
your latest miracle play?
Second Ditto-Fine. Thought it
would be failure. though, till we hit
on something that's got the women
coming in droves.
F. NJ. M.-How so?
Second Ditto-We lost the baby that
we used in the Solomon-and-the-Tw
Mothers baby scene, and have been
using a lap-dog ever since.'-Puck.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
Was in Real Trouble.

A passenger who escaped uninjured
from a serious railway smash, seeing
fellow-traveler searching anxiously
among the wreckage with a lantern.
offered to assist in the search, and.
thinking the old man had lost his
wife. asked in sympathetic tones:
"What part of the train was she in?"
Raising his lantern and glaring at the
kindly disposed passenger, the old
man shouted with indignant distinct
ness that triumphed over physical in
trinity: "She, sir, she! I am look
ing for my teeth"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
Poor DoiIie.

"Oh, dear.' sighed little Mabel
"I'm having an awful time with my
dollie.'
''How's that?" queried her mother,
She's so cross + can't do thing
with her." answered Mabel. 81 guess
she must be Matching her teeth
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
A LUCKY Slip.

Joel hear dat Tom Sniff dune
got cut wild a razor.
Sam-Yes, he were gittin' shav9i
and he were tryin' to get his hands
in de barbers pocket and de razor
slipped.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01

improved. Before long l was without
a sign of the trouble that seemed to
be carrying me to my grave"
when Your Back Is Lame, Remem-
berthe eName-DOAN'S." soc, all stores.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01

Makes the laundress happy-that's Red
Cross Bag Blue. Makes beautiful, clear
white clothes. All good grocers.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure con
stipation. Constipation is the cause oi
many diseases. Cure the cause and you
cure the disease. Easy to take.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01

SO weak, / had 10 Jake
to my bed. Kidney
secretions We're sup
pressed, l became ter
ribly bloated. and final
ly reached the point
where / took no inter-
est in life. 1t was then
1 began using Doan's
Kidney Pills and soon
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01

If it is safe to trust God in any
thing it is safe to trust him in every
thing.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01

If every man had all the money he
wanted, the devil would get US all.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
TIRED, SICK AND DISCOURAGED.
Doan's Kidney Pills Brought Health
and CheerfuIness.

Mrs. ]. P. Pemberton. S54 Lafayette
ST., Marshall. Mo-. says: For years
/ suffered with Bright's disease which
doctors said was incurable. l grew
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1911-12-01
important to Mothers
His Bearil

His Bearing.
rs he a man of military bearing?"
well, he likes to soldier
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03
Wayside Wisdom.

Jealousy is egotism-but so is in
difference.
The man with one idea cannot be
said to be full Of himself.
Virtue is its own reward. And US
ually somebody else gets it.
Many a shining light in the legal
profession Is nothing but a gas light
Many a painter who claims to be
welded to his art is in reality a grass
widower.
Grief is like water-the more it is
compressed. the more it tends to burst
forth in unexpected places.
II q man could live by the sweat
Of his brow. what a jolly time he
would have in hot weather.
Happiness is like the echo-no mat
ter how loudly you call 1t, all you get
is the repetition Of your own accents.
It is the man who is able to bite
or more than he can chew who has
done the most for the comfort and
pleasure Of the world.
There are some men, who, in the
endeavor to hide their light under q
bushel, leave all their faults outside
where they can be the more easily
discovered
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03
Not for Money.

n NE Of the men on the rear plat
form of the car who looked like
" machinist having remarked that
he was on a strike, the man with
the cigar turned to him and Queried:
so you are one of the strikers, Ell 2"
Yes, SIR"
How long do you expect to be out
Of work?''
Cant say"
Don't you know that strikes are
running the business of the country?"
81 expect they do hurt it"
Every time there is hope of pros
perity ahead you men jump in and
spoil it."
Eyes, sir.''
You were getting at least $3.50
per day, I think?"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03
The June Picnic.

- DAY In June, so festive gay,
We went to tho wildwood green;
- Our Sunday School. and Joy did
rule,
And nothing but smiles were seen.
The stately trees the bunch did please.
The mandrake reared its head;
The birds did sing with Joyous fling.
And flowers both white and red.
Midst dells and deles, and swamps
and swales-
Midst frogs and snakes and sioh;
The ground was wet, and cold, you
bet,
The whole thing it was rich.
There were Ieafy bowers and thunder
showers,
And then came a pour of hail;
There were wildwood glades, and little
Hades,
And we heard the Bob White quail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03
HIS CHANCE.

. Mrs. Henpeck-"Henry, who wa
the best man at our wedding?"
Mr.. Henpeck-"A bachelor,
think"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03
TOO LAZY.

she-"You'd better put out tn
light"
He-"oh. no-we'n just shut on
eyes"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03
Some Stray Queries.

rem skirt along2
Going to marry your stenographer
and sail for Europe7
VIII it be a mad dog summer, or
just an occasional bite?
Can you raise the dough for two
weeks off?
Have you told the coroner to lay it
to ice cream?
Going to use the same old swear
words when the hot wave comes2
JOE KERR.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03

-Four dollars day, SIR
"And you are striking for more?
Great Scott"
mo sir, we are not. We are sim
ply striking for shorter hours SO that
we can get home and play golf with
our families. If we win this strike
we shall probably have another to
shorten up some more and give US a
show to play pony-polo!"
JOE KERR.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03
water dangerous7

s soda water dangerous7
How much did your uncle ad-
vance on your winter overcoat?
Is 1t the same old ginger pop2
Going to stick to the end seat this
SUMMER
Does it do any good to pull the neck
of the summer sQuash7
Does DR.. Cook need any more North
Pole?
VIII the summer girl take her ha-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03

The cake got wet. the ice cream not
The sandwich looked forlorn;
And Deacon Beers let out some swears
And wished he wasn't born.
Then we did go. as fell the dew,
Each with his little chill;
Each with a sneeze. and shaking
knees
OF picnic had his I'LL.
JOE KERR.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03
VERY BAD.

Sharp-He Is foiled again. I guess
he doesn't believe in his luck like he
used to.
Flat-Oh. yes, he does.
Sharp-His luck?
F1at-Yes, bad luck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03
ABOUT ALL.

Green-If somebody were to leave
you a fortune in Europe, how would
you get it over7
Wise-I can't say off-hand. I'd
have to think it over.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03

Did you get rid Of the flies?
don't know. After we had burned
carbolic acid on a shovel and made a
smudge Of some kind of powder and
scattered oil of sassafras around. I
don't believe any flies could stay in
the place, know us folks couldn't.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03
sTUNG HIM GOOD AND PROPER
HAD DONE 1T.

Toni love you, dearest one.
Tess-Have you seen papa?
Tom-Yes, little one, saw him last
night at the poker party. That is how
1 got enough money to propose on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03

Well, I've got to look after my to-
matoes and string beans and things.
You don't expect to feed all your
summer boarders out of that little
garden, do you?
Nope. I've got IN my order for
canned goods, as usual That vege-
table garden is just a decoy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-03

With Best Wishes.
N EAR maid, I trow,
And hope that thou
~ With honors grand;
Wilt emulate,
And graduate
At head OF band.
May your essay
Be grave or gay,
But best of all;
No nervous chill
To make thee Ill
And bring a fall.
With puff and rat,
And standing pat
With dress Of white;
With ribbons blue,
Be brave and true
Twill all be right.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-12-08
SOUTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY
PRESIDENT INSTALLED

Georgetown, Texas, Dec. S.-Many
well known divines and educators OF
the Methodist Episcopal Church,
South, arrived here today TO attend
the Inauguration of DR.. Charles NJ.
Bishop as president of Southwestern
University. The Inauguration exer-
c:ses will extend over three days.
President W. P. Few of Durham Col
lese is TO deliver the academic address
at the formal installation tomorrow
morning. DR.. James X. Kilgore of
TeXarkana will preside over the exer-
cises. On Sunday the inaugural ser
non will be preached by DR.. Frank X.
Sanders, president of Washburn Col
ege.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-12-08
BEGGING THE QUESTION.

The Eagle editor admits seeing the
recent football game between A. e NJ.
College and Baylor, and says: 1T was
a good, clean game, except a scrap
between two of the players for which
neither team was responsible. 1t orig
mated in a Baylor man applying a
vile epithet to an A. & NJ. man and
the latter resented the insult" That
lis just the point exactly. There was
a scrap on the field disgraceful
scene, and for which there should
never be any excuse, The proper thing
for those in charge of the game to
have done would have been TO put both
players out Of the game until the mer-
its OF the case could be ascertained
and then declare the result-placing
the blame where it belonged. The
Eagle demands proof of dirty playing
on the part OF A. & NJ. or a retraction,
yet it states specifically that a vile
epithet was used by a Baylor man.
Did The Eagles editor hear this vile
epithet? If so, why hasn't it denounced
the Baylor man? The fact is The
Eagle is entirely partisan when it
comes to A. & NJ. matters and won't
see anything wrong. This method of
covering up,is not conducive TO clean
sport and is largely responsible for
the very thing the Examiner-Review
complains Of We think quite as much
Of A. & NJ as a college as does The
Eagles editor, yet we are not con-
trolled by mercenary sentiment. If
wishes were horses we'd have the
Farmers ride to victory every time
hut we'd demand in the name Of clean
sport, that they do so without repeti
ton of the scenes at Dallas, Houston
and the recent game at College. If |
A. & NJ would retain the good will |
Of the people those in charge must |
guard more zealously the acts of some |
Of it's athletes.-Navasota Examiner
Review.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1911-12-08
ARcHAEoLoGlsT WEEDS LINeUIsT.

East Hampton, Mass, Dec. S.-To-
day is set for the wedding in Bombay.
India. Of Miss Elizabeth s. Cotton OF
this city and DR.. David Brainerd
Spooner, an English scientist. DR..
Spooner will have a wife with more
tongues than any other woman in the
world, as Miss Cotton can speak or
write fifty-four languages. and is one
Of the greatest of living linguists re-
gardless Of sex.
DR.. SpoOner is an archaeologist EN-.
ployed by the British government, who.
about year ago, discovered the bones
of Buddha. The couple first met at
Harvard. This fall Miss Cotton re.
ceived marriage proposal by cable
and answered yes" She Immediately
sailed for India and set the ceremony
for today in Bombay.