davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
AYHAWKER JOTS

The new hats for women fit so close
ly over the head that the Cherryva1e
journal thinks they will have to be put
on with shoe horn.
The Spring Hill New Era has figured
1t out that some people can't see the
error of their way because Of the habit
they have of looking at yours.
The Lawrence Gazette thinks it is go
ing to be up to the medical sharps very
soon now to say whether the spring
fever is contagious or epidemic.
Says the Hutchinson News: Since
a foot or so has been taken off the
outer edge of women's hats men will
be able to go to church again and see
the preacher, or the choir"
The Downs News says there is a man
in Downs so dirty that when he moves
from one locality to another the fac1
should be chronicled in the local news
papers under the head of Real Estate
Trainers
Another story about the Central
Branch: A travelling man at Water
Vile was trying to get out of town. as
he had seen his customers. He asked
the station agent when there would be
another train. II don't know replied
the station agent, but you might go
ask old lady Smithers over there across
the street as they do say she is sort of
a fortune teller"
Old Bill Shiftless has a new scheme
Bill is sore at all the merchants in
town, reports the Osborne Farmer.
Before they got onto him Old Bill used
to stand the merchants off for various
amounts. He never paid and the mer-
chants now refuse to extend him any
credit. Some of them have talked
pretty mean to him while dunning him.
But a dun or cussing never phazes
Old Bill. Bill now has a mail order
house catalogue. He shows it to all his
friends and tells them how much better
they can do by sending away for their
stuff. ''I am for my home town. said
Old Bill the other day, ''but I want
decent treatment. When I am a little
hardup I have a. right to ask for credit
will pay every cent I owe when I can
get around to it. But intend to make
some of them sweat. The fellows who
have dunned me to death will never get
cent. They made good money on the
stuff thew sold me, and my first duty is
to my family. I will square 1t with the
fellows who have been decent" It
might be remarked that there isn't a
merchant in town who has been decent
with Bill, for all of them have dunned
him to a fragile.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
A PIucly Boy Corn Raiser.

DR.. S. A. Knapp, the representative
of the department of agriculture, who
has had in charge the work of the
boys corn clubs, tells some interest
ing stories of the pluck and persever-
ance Of the prize winners. In nine
southern states last year there were
1925 contestants. It was no easy task
in many instances to overcome paren-
tai Indifference or even opposition Dr.
Knapp tells Of one boy who was very
anxious to raise some corn, but had
no ground So his father said, stWell,
you can have an acre over there on
the hillside if you will clear the stump3
and logs off, The little fellow worked
hard and cleared the land, and then
his father took it away from him. The
little chap was not discouraged When
the farm demonstration came around,
the boy appealed to him, and he is turn
apepaled to the father. who said:
WELL. win let him have another acre
over there on. the same hillside, pro-
vided he clears off the logs and
stumps." He cleared them. worked as
vigorously as he could snd produced
IS bushels of corn on that acre. while
t@e old man, who eu.iisAi-A by the cid
nix thud on the acre h it The boy had
first cleared, mads only is bushels
I~s.le's
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.1

[F'rom the Atchison Globe
Travelling educates lots of people to
become bores.
Every man, however, would use the
veto power a good deal, if he had it.
Nothing is as easy as it seems to
the merchant who is sending solicitor
out.
With the average recreant If it
wasn't whisky it would be something
else.
A good many men continue to con-
slider a bet an unanswerable argu-
ment-
How much time do you kill in the
morning, before settling down to
work?
Quarreling will spoil good appc-
tito quicker than anything else in the
world.
Every woman thinks there is some
man in the world who couldn't get
along without her.
Someone must prove to US that
the second hundred dollars comes any
easier than the first
Count MCGOWAN says he has a
neighbor so poor and worthless that
he can't even support a dog.
Microbes may be dangerous, but
compared with your own fool habits,
they don't amount to much.
Whenever you have to put up money
to save an investment it generally
means that you will lose it.
The chief difference between a
crank and an enthusiast seems to be
that the crank disagrees with you.
Regardless of popular tradition and
the funny papers, q goat isn't nearly
| as dangerous beast as the dog.
A gun or a knife never made q cow
ard a brave man. An armed coward
te af1 I4or 1rox
armed.
A boys field of operations is so
| limited that he frequently finds it nee
/ essary to break his arm in order to at
tract attention.
If mans little children should dis
appear, he wouldn't have much diff
Guilty in identifying them by the finger
] prints on his collar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
KANSAS COANENT
DEFENSE OF THE Harlem.

A great deal of feeling is being ex-
pressed by folks whom it does not con-
Germ over the approach of the harem
skirt FASHION. In the Illinois legis-
Iature statesman of the Kansas va
rlety has introduced a bill to prohibit
the wearing of harem or even of hobble
shIrts- Leading newspapers have De-
voled columns of space to attacks on
the 1nsldlous skirt and doctors and di-
vines have declared it unhealthy and
ungodly.
Inc only question that should bother
the male public is whether the harem
shirt is singular or plural. Is it in fact
q SKIRT like meal sack with Sits up
Inc Sldes or is it pair of pants sewed
partially together? Should this new
'tthey?"
With this little doubt settled, seems
TO the ordinary citizen that If a lady
wishes to wear a harmon skirt she
should nave the right to do SO. Any
lnlng which keeps below the knees and
Is not contrary to the public safety is
allowable to be worn. The old men ami
CYNICAL critics who fuss around about
the style of architecture of ladys wear
ing apparel should go to the display
WINDOWS Of the dry goods stores during
white goods" sale, and thereafter
noid their peace. Any man who can
glance over the advertisements in the
magazines for the toilet affairs, access
sores and deficiencies, will realize that
the true Reformer will not waste time
IN an argument against an inoffensive
harem skirt
The women won't like the harem
sklrIs any more than they did the
Mobile, or the freak before that But
tne moral1st should stop fooling with
IL or them, as the case may be, and
turn his attention to the horrors tina.
are advertised-and turn his head the
otner way.-Billy Morgan.
FATE OF THE HoMELY GIRL.
No man would have dared to think
such thing, much less to say it, but
mere comes Miss Imogene Kelly, of
Brooklyn, herself a student, talking
right out in meeting to this effect:
II the girls at Wellesley were more
attractive they would be married and
there would be less pressing need of
college education for them'
| She qualities the remark by saying
that there are many attractive girls
there, or course" but repeats: 1.-The
majority possess that quality of looks
That warns them that it is better to
prepare for self-support.''
So the homely girl is driven to the
necessity of getting a liberal education
while the pretty girl marries young and
settles down to the care of family
ana not because she is competent, but
simply because she is good to look
upon.
We are not at all sure but the gods
are kinder to the plain girl than to the
pretty one, even on this theory of coll
lege education
knowledge is a good thing of itself
and capacity for self-support a very
convenient thing to have on hand. In
many cases it is an advantage, too, to
be delivered from the periIs of marry
ing the first young man that comes
along. Besides, the accomplished wo-
man has some attractions, even from
matrimonial standpoint
On the whole, the fate of the homeIy
girl might be worse.-Wichita Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
JOURNAL ENTRIES

One way to please a woman is to
forget when her birthday comes.
Il
Many people would look more at
tractive if they assumed DISCUSSES.
y y y
1t seems that the queerer women's
clothes are cut and made the more
stylish they are considered.
y y
Never condemn jealous wife too
harshly. The majority of women are
not inclined to jealousy of a husband
without good cause.
X
According to many of the patent med
icine advertisements the most severe
cold is very easily broken. But that
is not the usual experience with most
folk.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
HUNOR OF THE Day
Sing a song of sixpence,
Pocket full of rye
That's the way to carry 1t
When the town is dry.
81 PHILADELPHIA TELEGRAPH

When the town Is dry.
Philadelphia Telegraph.
Dearest. will you love me when my
as your keys are gold."-Baitimore Ameri-
can.
'ewhat would you do If I should kiss
your I'd smack your face: Mhats
the matter with my lips?'-Baitimore
American.
Here, waiter. there's a fly. in my
soup" Serves the nrnI Ie +5 slsn.c i he 3
been buzzin round mere all the mofhin-
Life.
Does your baby take after her father7''
indulging in high bawIs. Baltimore
American.
1.-THE newspapers appear to have over
woman who wore harem skirt across
Brooklyn bridge the other day" How
so % None of them expressed an opin-
Post.
"And what were you Doing In the gam
bling den v purss1 osne the Then fg 1o1s
entered?'' The locksmith looked up into
the magistrates face with an expression
p Ia spsWared. II was making a bolt Tor
the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Times.
Two misunderstanding hoboes called on
posed that he purchase their bodies for
the dissecting room, as they were on the
verge OF starvation and had not long to
done" suggested the spokesman eagerly.
Well said the dean, I'VE might arrange
gave gave us So 'NEappinootts- '"ss
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
QUAKER srEDTTATToNs.

From the Philadelphia Record.]
Hard work is the mother of success.
Luck is only a third or fourth cousin.
The fellow who plays the bass drum
isn't the only man who beats his way
through life
eff Cupid ever hits me-" remarks
the Cynical Bachelor. he'll have to
hit me in the back"
Two things in life that are hardest
to find are a needle in a haystack and
a self made man who is dissatisfied
with his job.
BIobbs-"Henpeck says he fell in
love with his wife at first sight. =
Slobbs-'IH bet he wishes he had
taken another look"
Wigg-ssHardupp came around this
morning and actually borrowed pair
of shoes" Wagg-"Daren't even call
his sole his own, eh7'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.1

Every family is a debating society,
only without parliamentary rules.
A girl could kiss man in the dark
without realizing it if he was the
right one.
The more excuses man has for not
having come home the more thankful
he would be for a single good one.
When q woman sees her sons name
get into the newspapers she knows it
won't be very long before he is presl-
dent.
A man has to be a grandfather be-
fore he can realize that he doesn'
know anything like as much as he
thought he knew when he was a
grandson.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

Doctah'' Washington experienced
difficulty in getting from the police
court to his carriage, on account OF
the crowd that thronged the street.
from which one. or several for tnat
matter, might gouge the sweetly sol
emn thought that New York
throng" will stop and rubber at less
than 1t takes to interest the average
country rube.
Now that they have the Silver Lake
pootiegger who sold the booze that
contributed to the recent murder in
that burg, the incident is probably
Over in New Jersey, a carload of
pig iron was blown crossways on a
railroad by high winds. New Jersey,
perchanee you forget, is one of the
places where the most popular indoor
exercise is commiserating with the
poor Kansas Settlers who are subject
to the ravages of those Terrible Cy-
clones.
IN THE SPRING, IRA LA.
Spring poets we must all endure
To kill them is considered crime;
And, as there is no other cure
They'll bore us to the end of time.
what JOY If we could wander back
To ancient days, when Queens and
Kings
Prescribed the gibbet or the rack
For pestilential poet things.
Then We could say, like Good Queen
Liz:
"Avaunt-the cannery for his.r
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

Women who answer to the name of
Mrs Schenck seem to have a faculty
of getting into serious trouble. The
second woman of that name to be held
recently for the murder of her hus-
band is a Chicagoan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

If March, having come in like a
lamb, follows the traditions and goes
out like lion. 1t behooves her to get
busy soon. Her life, at longest, is of
short duration. Here's hoping. though,
that March will not find it necessary
to live up to her reputation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

If there are seven thousand Mexican
rebels in the field. as is reported by a
newspaper correspondent who has just
returned from visit to the chief revo-
lutionary districts, they have managed
to keep pretty well hid so far
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

March, having provided the warnlest
day in the year so far, and real hot
one at that, will probably turn around
and show just how good she can do IN
Producing cold weather.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

There will be much repining among
certain men because they did not find
1t before the new conservation move
ment got under, way. The government
owns hundreds OF billions of tons Of
coal on several sections Of it's domain
in the western section of the country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

That dollar dinner which was tender
I'd Mr.. Bryan by many of his admir-
Ars must have been a rather meagcr
meal When the Democrats started
the dollar dinner fad some years ago
d dollar would buy much more to eat
than it will nowadays.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

The toll of the sea is still heavy.
Lives to the number of 125 were lost
as were ships and cargo to the value
of $1.OO0, 600 in marine disasters along
the northern Atlantic coast during the
last shipping season.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

An Assyrian, who has been peddling
shoestrings in New York. is in Gus
tody and suspected of being insane be-
cause he happened to express a wish
for a million dollars. IF this was the
test of insanity, almost everybody in
the world, except the miIlionaires,
would be in that sad plight
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

This spring fever which urges mer
on to renewed activity is, like every
other good thing, not without it's draw.
backs. The hight-riders in Kentucky
are busy again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

A quarter of million Kansans
have already seen the tuberculosis ex-
hibit that the state board of health
has been displaying throughout the
state. and the results of this educa-
tional campaign against the great
white plague are certain to be large.
This is one of those state activities
that is decidedly worth while
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

State bounties for babies and pre-
miums for large families to be paid
by a tax levied on chronic bachelors
IS a plan which has been projected
into the Illinois legislature by one of
that states senators. Evidently ali of
the freak legislation is not born in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

Last years cotton crop in this coun-
try, which was held. up as such a fall
are several months ago that the price
of cotton was advanced materially
turns out to have been more than a
million bales larger than was the crop
4ooo
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

The test as to whether or not the
Portuguese are fitted for a republican
form of government will come along
on April so. when a general election
Is to be held in that country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal b member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
Eanlzafion for the exclusive 4xteTnoon
Publication in Topeka
The news is received in The State Jour
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

Speaking of confidence and opti-
xnism, each Of the candidates for the
mayoralty and comm.ssionerships of
Topeka is absolutely sure he is going
10 win out
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

People. including the criminals. are
pretty much the same the world over.
The Camorrists, who are on trial in
Italy on charges of murder. arson and
all other high crimes and rnisde-
meanors. insist that they are victims
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

It is not possible that the widows
will get very enthusiastic over the sug
Eestion Of Miss Pankhurst that they
devote their time to working for the
cause Of woman's suffrage. Most OF
them are busy tracking down No.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

However. it is really shameful to let
a few thousand farmers break down
q wheel of the political machine which
cost the taxpayers of the state hun
dreds of thousands to build. Refer
ring, of course, to the threat made
against the grain inspection depart
m ent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

of a plot on the part of those en-
trusted with preserving order in that
land
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

The political issue, in Tarrytown, N.
z, is whether or not automob ilists
shall be permitted the use of a per-
fectly good public road in front of the
Jawn D. Rockefeller estate. lawns
faction Is. against the use of the road.
Jawn's faction consists of his servants,
who are almost half the population of
that township. How would YOU vote
if you happened to live in Tarrytown?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

Everybody will be able to agree
with Professor Blackmar of the state
university that the hope of future
civilization is IN healthy, well-educated
children
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

Whether a kid is cute or impudent
depends entirely upon whether it be-
longs to you or to a neighbor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

The man who has no visible vices
is an object of suspicion-and right
fully, for he is usually a reform poll
tician.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

It is indeed a smart man who can,
offhand, tell the difference between a
morning gown and a sloppy wrapper
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

The camorrists claim that they are
victims of frame-up. They prob
ably mention it, however, as a
"framio-uppio.'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
FROM OTHER PENS
WOMEN. AND CHINESE HAIR.

L
The thousands of women who wear
hair that is not their own in compli-
ance with the mandates of a few in
dIvfdualS who assume authority to de-
eide what is fashionable and what is
not may find comfort in the assurance
from China that the hair of dead
Chinese is not put on the market Ac--
companying this statement is one that
the hair used in the making of the
unattractive displays seen at theaters
and churches is from the combines
saved by the attendants of Chinese
women, and that the pigtails recently
ordered cut off have not yet been
shipped abroad in lots large enough
to affect the hair market Perhaps
the queues are being held back by the
hair traders for the purpose of keep
ing prices up and that there may be
manipulation of the hair market is
suggested by the value of exports from
Honkong alone-$700.00e in gold dur
ing 191O-while the total value of ex-
ports was $1,500,000 last year. The
price has dropped from 50 a pound to
SO cents for the Choicest grades
since the Chinese learned that for
eigners were willing to wear the hair
for which millions of the yellow race
had no further use. But these facts
do not appear to disturb American
women who follow the fashions
whether or not they are in good taste.
1t is singular that the west is willing
to take the refuse combings of Chi
nese heads and utilize them for
"adornment. providence Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

You may have your own ideas as to
which of the Wichita aspirants for the
judgeship of the new district court has
the greatest political influence, but
after the appointment you will know
the opinion of an expert.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

GOLDEN TEXT FOR TODAY:
Remember that the state fire escape
laws apply only to lodging places on
this earth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23

The Santa Fe should run an excur-
sion to Lawrence when Joe Mercer
starts to catch the squirrels. Many
persons who have carefully avoided
Lawrence in the past, would take a
chance, under the circumstances.
H P
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-03-23
PROFITABLE PATRIOTISM.

good many supplemented Ameri-
cans marveled at the newspaper MARIA
tive which declared the other day that
certain well known American woman,
now the wife of an Englishman, had re-
turned to this country to get an ad-
vance of a million dollars from her
share of the family fortune for use
during the approaching coronation.
Recent dispatches from London indi-
cate that the lady will have plenty of
ways to spend her money without
strewing E5 notes before the royal car
riage. 1t is stated that wealthy Amer
leans, who have not already secured
quarters for the coronation season, and
who expect to entertain extensively on
that occasion, are doing some lively
bidding for the more desirable houses
When peers and high society people
are already in the market for what
they can make out of visitors, it is
easy to guess what the hotel mana gers
and shopkeepers will be doing later on.
No one questions for a moment that
the British people are genuinely devo-
ted to their new king, and are anxious,
for purely sentimental reasons, to have
his coronation fitting1y observed. Still,
it cannot be denied in view of the mil
lions. of money, that will be spent in
connection with the event, that a coro-
nation is highly profitable form of
entertainment.-Bing Press.