davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

him to come on around to the other side
of the stage.
Cant leave here" replied Brown.
That lady gave me her umbrella TO hold
and ordered me TO stay right here"
She finished her turn, took her UNI
brella from the United States Senator.
and was about to take d coin from a
jcweled Chatelaine purse to hand him
when somebody stopped her.
Represo ntativc Dawson, of Iowa, who
i going to head a big national bank
when ne finishes his present term in
Congress, is a good deal of an offhand
optimiSt He was telling the other day
of little experience to show that the
reported high cost of fOodstuffs is not
nearly 50 universal in this country as
one might think
He was billed to make a speech in a
small town in his district last fall and
dropped in at the most pretcntiOUS-l look
ing restaurant in the place to buy food.
1t was one of those restaurants where
they have a counter and stools up in
front. with a big glass cover over dish
of douGhnuts on the counter, and tables
back in the rear for the highbrows who
get dizzy when they get to the top of a
restaurant stool.
Dawson went back to one of the tables
like Il sport. and gave his order to A
tawny-headed girl who seemed to think
her services would be appreciated in di-
rect ratio to the noise she made arrang-
ing the knives and forks.
Bring me a good piece O. steak" or
dered Dawson, ''whatever vegetables you
have, and a cup of coffee"
The girl went back as far as the
kitchen door and then yelled at Dawson:
"D'juh want a or 10 cent cut O. steak?''
Representative McDermott. of Chicago
who was operating n telegraph instru-
ment at the union stock yards when he
was elected to Congress, has two prides.
One h that he got TO Congress without
the aid of much education, and the
other is that he can go among his con-
stituents wearing either a flannel shirt
and other garments TO match or a plug
hat-and get away with it"
Capt. Robert E. Peary. the man who
made the trudge to the north pole, came
swinging out Of the apartment house
where he lives the day of the last big
blizzard dressed in an ordinary medium
weight suit without any overcoat, for he
seldom, if ever. wears an Overcoat A
fellow-apartment dweller walked out be
hind him with a fur coat and muffier on
This is your kind Of weather.
s'pose," said the explorers neighbor.
Yes" replied Peary. This is my
idea of a nice summer day"
The janitor of the apartment house
looked after the explorer and remarked {:
There's the finest man in the whole
town. I'll bet the furnace could go ont
and stay out for week and he'd never
say a word about his suite being too
Geld. He's what l call a nice fellow"
tCop9rEht, 1911. by Fred c. Kellyl.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

Fy FRED G.. KELLY.

Three or four Senators sat in the cloak
room the other afternoon discussing mis-
cradle experiences, and Senator Norris
Brown, OF Nebraska. recalled sadly his
first day at school.
Browns sixth birthday-in fact, all his
birthdays-fell on the I'd of May, and it
wasn't really worth while for him to
start to school until the following fall,
but his father felt that he should begin
acquiring an education without delay,
and he was led off TO the schoolhousc.
There were no vacant seats in the pri-
mary grade but the teacher told Brown 5
father that little Norris could have a
temporary seat on the platform and get
along well enough for the few weeks be-
fore school closed. Until they could get
him a cute little chair of the proper size
Brown occupied a small peck measure
placed alongside the teachers desk.
Little Norris found it rather embar-
RAISING sitting up there in front and
staring all the other pupils in the face.
So he amused himself by trying to see
how close he could get his index finger
to flies that would alight on his knee
without frightening them away. This
amused the whole school. and when the
teacher saw what was distraCtinG their
attention she spoke sharply to the fu-
ture United States Senator.
Norris" she shouted real suddenly,
like that
Norris was so startled by the uneX-
pected mention of his name in his ear
that he jumped off his seat and then
aF0l- hn Nna-T 70
with n thump. The jar broke the bot
tom out Of the measure and he fell right
down inside He was wedged in so tight
ly that he couldn't get out, and the
teacher, assisted by another pupil, had
to pry him out OF his seat.
A year or two ago Brown went back
to his old home in Iowa, and that same
teacher was instructing the youngsters
in that same grade after lapse of more
than forty years. Brown went around
to visit the school. and the youngsters
We're greatly awed to find themselves in
the presence OF a really truly 'Nited
States Senator. But the teacher got up
and narrated the peck measure incident.
and then the awe business was all of.
senator bro"n IL Always naNlng eN-
reriences. Last fall he was ON the pro-
gramme for a speech at a big meeting
in Dayton. Ohio Besides a nuuber of
prominent speakers. there were one or
two musical numbers, and a woman
viOlinist from Cincinnati came tripping
through the wings, where Brown was
awaiting his turn, on her way to the
stage. The light was poor in the pas
sageway and the woman took Brown for
a stage hand
Here. just hold this umbrella until
have finished" she said to him in the
low, commanding tone Of a woman used
to being waited on. Don't move away
from there"
Brown took the umbrella meekly and
stood there holding it. when member
OF the committee came along and told
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
Faithful Postal Workers.

From Leshe's.
The government has no employees more
faithful and none upon whose personal
honesty more depends than the thousands
of postmasters and postal clerks in our
nearly $1,000 post-offices. When one
thinks of the countless letters in fimsy
envelopes dropped into mail boxes and
post-offices. with no protection, except
a 2-cent stamp and thin piece of paper.
against the violation of secrets the ex-
posure of which might ruin a business.
one realizes, how much depends on the
personal integrity of those who handle
the mails. In his annual report. the First
Assistant Postmaster General Dr.
Charles p Grandfeld calls attention to
the need of readjustment of the salaries
of assistant pOstmasters, since at pres
ent it frequently happens that an assist
ant postmaster receives a, smaller salary
than some of the clerks whose work he
supervises.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
ARCHBISHOP MAY
COME FROM ROME
Rector of American College
as Ryan's Successor.

Philadelphia. Feb. 2O.-Speculation Is
rife in ecclesiastical circles throughout
the world as to who is going to receive
the appointment of the Pope to fill the
vacancy in the American Catholic
late Archbishop Ryan.
Ihere are two persons whose names are
more generally mentioned in connection
with the post. either one Of whom ap-
pears to be Il logical ChOice-Bishop
Thomas r kennedy. tituIar Bishop of
AdrianOpoIiS and rector of the American
College at Rome. and the Rt Rev. Ed
mund F. Prendergast, who is the tenn
porary head of the archdiocese pending
the selection of the permanent head
Inc former of these seems to have the
support Of the clergy and Iaitv of the
archGiocesc. and the receipt Of a cable
gram from Rome late Saturday evening
shows that he Is regarded favorabIv by
the Vatican authorities.
Bishop Kennedy is comparativeIv a
young man. He is thoroughly American
in his ideas, and has commanded the
respect Of all tourists who have met
him in Rome by the consideration no
showed to them. He labored in the arch
diocese with great success after his
ordination and gained A host of friends
He has demonstrated his extraordinary
administrative ability to the Roman ALL
thorities while acting in the capacitv
OF rector Of the American College and
has become thoroughly conversant with
the policy Of the Vatican. He was for
merly professor in Overlook Seminary
ana in 1900 was summoned to Rome bv
Pope Leo to take charge Of the Aueri-
can College in Rome.
Bishops Prendergast's chief ouaIi6ca-
ton lies in the fact that he has bean
TOT fourteen years bishop coadiutor To
the late archbishop, and during that
time the bulk Of the work in administer
ing the affairs of the archdiocese has
fallen TO his lot The ability he has dis
played has placed him high in thu esti-
mate OF the priests OF the diocese. There
is one drawback to his selection. how
ever. and this is his advanced age. He
is in his siXty-eighth year. and tho gen
eral impression is that the post demands
a younger man.
chief among the other candidates men
toned are the Rt Rev. Dennis J.
Dougherty. Bishop OF Jaro, Philippine
Islands. who was at one time a priest
Of the Philadelphia diocese and was also
professor in St Charles Seminary,
Overlook. and the Rt. Rev. Eugene A.
Garvey. Bishop of Altoona.
The final choice of the Pope is not
limited to these four candidates. nor is
he obliged TO restrict it to the selection
of one who has labOred at some time
in the Philadelphia archdiocese. He is
at liberty to go to some distant $. e and
make an appointment as was the case
when Archbishop Ryan was chosen.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
A Park for the Southeast.

In the distribution Of the public
funds all sections OF the city should
share in equal proportion. This is the
axiom which should be uDpermost in
the minds of the legislators who are in
trusted with the responsibility Of appro-
priating for the expenses of the District
With this as a basic principle, there
is Justice in the claim OF the south
eastern section OF the city for rccogni-
ton. The taxpayers in that section have
seen thousands and even hundreds of
thousands of dollars expended in the
northwest and other sections. and have
been compelled to content themselves,
like Lazarus, with the crumbs that fell
from the rich mans table Now. when
they sec favorably suggested to Con-
gress a proposition to add to an already
extensive park system, they ask that
their section be also remembered. They
are miles away from the reservations
which add to the comfort and enjoyment
of the more favOrably situated section
in the northwest, and they ask for some
consideration for themselves. Their ap-
peal has solid foundation
The southeastern part Of the city may
not rank high in wealth or social dis
tinction but it is the residence section
OF homc-owners and good citizens, who
are entitled to recognition at the hands
of Congress, and for whom a breathing
place in the summer offers the only rec
reation they can afford
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
III Luck FolloWs the Deacon Family.

his sister Florence. formerly the Princess
Srozzi, but now Nine. de Halpart
Upon Gladys Deacon. the most beau
ttful of the three sisters. perhaps. and
the most unhappy, certainly. tho bad
luck in love that follows the Deacons
has come heaviest. The infatuation OF
the crown prince of Germany for her is
an old story. 1t still keeps her barred
from Germany. Il was at the Duke of
MarTboroughs request that she gave
back to the Kaiser's son a love token,
the ring given to him by his mother at
the time OF his confirmation. In ex-
change the Kaiser gave Miss Deacon an
expensive diamond and emerald bracelet.
She has been reported engaged from
time TO time to most of the unattached
nobility of France and England.
English society always has believed
that some day she would become the
wife of the Duke Of Marlborough. II the
separation between him and his wife.
COnsUelo Vanderbilt, ever reaches the
point of actual divorce At any rate, it
is an open secret that she loves the duke
and that the improbability of any mar
riage makes her quite the most miserable
girl in Paris.
The recognized time for a preacher to
occupy the pulpit when preaching before
the late King Edward of England was
ten minutes. King George. however, has
never quite approved of these short ser
mons, and it has been intimated to the
chaplains attached to the royal house
hold, from whom the preacher for the
morning service at buckingham Palace
usually is selected, that their sermons
may be lengthior than they were Gus
tOmarily in the late reign.
AT intimation of this sort amounts
practically to a command. but it is
doubtful il it viii be very welcome to
some of the chaplains who were in the
late Kings household, who have during
the past years rarely preached a sermon
of more than ten minutes duration
When the King is at buckingham Palace
on Sunday the preacher for the morning
service is selected by his majesty. The
selection is usually made on Friday, and
the chaplain who has been chosen is noti-
fed of the fact by the subdean.
FI.ANEUR
Copyright, 1911, By Mcclure Newspaper syDdicate)
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

through lack of advertising. The cave
is still in a class all its own as a sub
terranean spectacle, and still the stalag-
mite chair occupied by Jenny Lind is
to be seen. Of what advantage, how
ever, are all its peculiar attractions il
its location is a matter of doubt and its
glories are kept hidden? Unless the
public mind is directed toward them, the
cave might as we'll be given over to
solitary darkness.
And what is true of the Mammoth
Cave is true of every business. The
publicity gained by advertising means
success.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
AERONAUTIC PARTIES NEXT.
Rumor Has 1t that Guests VIII Dine
in Balloon

Philadelphia, Feb. 2n.-Charles z. Coke,
a banker. has planned an odd dinner for
next Friday night. According to the in
vitauons, it is to be an "aeronautic
party
While the greatest secrecy is mann
tained, 1t is understood that the forty
guests of Mr.. Coke will dine in the cabin
OF an immense dirigible airshfp, which
will be moored about 100 feet above the
roof of the Bellevue-StratfOrd Hotel
Where the balloon has been OF will be
obtained. is not known. Mr. Coke admits
he will give the party. but refuses to dis
close the details or to make public the
names of his guests
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
Bonding Government Employees.

From the Consular Reports
The legislature of the state of Vera
Cruz. Mexico. has approved the new con-
tract entered into between the govern
ment and the representatives of surety
company of New York for bonding OF
all the public functionaries, employees, or
agents intrusted with the care OF public
funds or values. as also corporations,
companies, or private individuals that
contract pecuniary obligations. This meas
ure has been made a law of the state.
The surety company is to have its rep
resentative at the capital of the state,
Jalapa, fully. authorized to act for same.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

Chinese studied law Engand
at railway China
ROBERT wYNNE American consul general at London is mem
inheritance
s he of
ther Is a Kansa
boyhood the
naturalist Of
at
the age o J.
Chicago publisher leisure time study
a
which weightier than his plays.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
Jarndyce VS.. Jarndyce outdone.

From the Buffalo Times.
Any reader of Dickens who thinks the
famous lawsuit of Jarndyce VS.. Jarn-
dyce an exaggeration, may gain confl-
dence in the author by the case of George
Harrington, Thomas A. Edison. and Jo-
siah c. Reiff against the Atlantic and
Pacific Telegraph Company and Jay
Gould. This suit was begun in 1876. and
has just been dismissed by the United
States Circuit Court of Appeals. After
the action had lasted twenty-nine years
the plaintiffs got judgment Of 81. Then
1t was decided the court had no jurisdic-
ton.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
Death Follows Wedding.

Harrisonburg. Va, Feb. O.-Strath-
more. the beautiful country place OF the
Wlsslers, near Mount Jackson, was the
scene of a wedding and a death within
twenty-four hours. On Thursday, Miss
Maud Wissler and Mr.. John Edwin Trip
lett, OF Baltimore. were married On Fri
day, the brides aged grandfather. Frank
lin Wissler, died after an illness of sew
eral weeks.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
Old Tavern L. Hnunted.

Morgantown. W. Va, Feb. 2O-GranvflIe,
a town near here is in the throes Of ex-
element over a haunted house During
the past few nights persons claim 10
have seen a white-haired woman walk
ing through the rooms of an abandoned
hotel there, with a lighted candle in
her hand.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
X-RAYS TO TELL AGE
Chinaman Hopes TO Prove He Ii
Minor and Admissible

Boston. Feb. 3n.-By the testimony Of
X-ray photographs. Chang Hong. twice
denied permission to enter the United
States as an adult Chinese. hopes to
prove that he is only seventeen, a minor.
and hence admissible.
Drs. Bonney and Granger, with Har-
ward experts. made X-ray photographs Of
the Chnaman's bones. which they de-
CIared show his age to within a month
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

OF the 1s5 Republicans who. voted on
the Mccall bill in the House, 81 were
against it and IS for it. OF the former 81
will not be members of the next House.
by far the greater number falling victims
of the Democratic landslide. OF the IS
who voted for the bill. g will not return.
The heaviest political mortality. it will
be seen. fell upon those who antagonized
reciprocity.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

We are emphatically for. peace in the
far East, because there are a number of
people who still are suffering as a result
of trying in vain to pronounce the names
Of the generals printed during the late
Russo-Japanese unpleasantness.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
William b. GnIInher Dead.

Staunton, Va, Feb. 20.-William B. Gal
laher, a Confederate soldier. aged sew
enty-one years, related in Washington
and Baltimore, is dead at his home near
Staunton. He leaves a wife, three sons,
and three daughters.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
WILL FLY IN CHINA.
FunE Guey Intends to Start Aviation
in Native Land.

San Francisco, Feb. 2O.-Fung Guey, a
Chinese, will leave for his native land
Tomorrow. taking with him a Curtiss BIZ
plane, in which he intends to make exhi-
bition flights. It is believed that he will
he the first aviator to rise from the
ground in China.
Fung Guey has been experimenting with
aeropIanes for about two years He has
constructed several machines, and after
many mishaps has recently succeeded in
his flights
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

Considering that the entire population
OF Canada does not even equal that OF
the State of New York. il sounds like a
reflection on the intelligence of Ameri-
cans to cry that reciprocity would ruin
our farmers.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
British Bnd CnInnisfa.

1T is quite possible" said F. r FL
bridge, of London, who is at the Raleigh,
that by the end of the next generation
Canada may have grown strong enough
to stand alone should it wish to sever
the connection which yet binds it TO the
empire. We are accustomed to believe
that the English colonist has no equal,
but the fact remains that Englishmen
are not regarded with favor nowadays in
the West. Farmers are ready to admit"
continued Mr.. Eldridge. who has inter
ests in Canada and spends much OF his
time there, that there is no man better
than a good EnElishman. but they COM
plain that in most cases the men from
the old country are lazy and inefficient
Nor is the charge by any means un-
founded
In the first place. the English char
acter is generally not very adaptable;
the national temperament, and perhaps
the national system of education, are
both to blame. a man who has very
likely sprung from the artisan class emil
CRATES to the Dominion. He has been
accustomed to certain fixed hours of
work per day. usually not very long ones.
according to Canadian ideas; he con-
siders he has a right to a certain amount
of amusement when those hours are
over, and he strongly resents being called
upon to prolong the daily task beyond
its ordinary limits
Too many of these who are sent out
from England are not suited to colonial
life. Very few of them realize before
they get there how long the hours on a
farm are, how mechanical. and how very
different from the ordinary work on a
see the possibility that the novelty may
wear off these pursuits, and the healthy.
active life to which they look forward
begins TO pail
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

A New Jersey woman found a man
under her bed and promptly had him ar
rested. The traditional feminine terror
is giving away before the modern woman
at last.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
HIS NATURAL DIET.

HIS NATURAL DIET.
The early robin of the press,
Now on the wing,
Would find no sustenance, guess,
But for one thing.
This is the time for him to come,
AS you'll agree.
For he can get his living from
That cherry tree.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

English churchmen are trying to short-
en- the Ten Commandments. Perhaps the
average man then would keep them more
strictly.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
Whr She j. Here.

From the Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Houston Post has in a mission
ary spirit sent young lady reporter
10 the press gallery at Washington in
the hope that that locality viii be i'm
pressed by her refined presence.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

It is hardly likely that any farmer
will be obliged to give up his autOmo-
bile on account of reciprocity
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

Any man who is fool enough to adver-
tise for a wife ought to get one that will
disturb his peace of mind for the rest OF
his DAYS
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

A man who owns an apple orchard
wants to know why rabbits are pro-
tected.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

The Tammany tiger may have yellow
streaks in his hide, but evidently he IS
no quitter.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
VIEWS AND
INTERVIEWS
Potato Worse Than Opium.


Even worse than opium smoking is
the smoking of the dried stems of the
ordinary field potato" said Dr. George
4. Wallace. of San Francisco. who is at
the New willard. when discussing opium
smoking among the Chinese.
The potato vine is a poisonous
growth" said he. The apple or seed
which grows on the potato and looks
like 2 small undergrown green tomato.
which it is, in fact, for the potato and
tomato are blood cousins. is especially
potent IN its bancful effects if one smokes
it.
u Sually the vice starts in bOyhOOd
days on the farm. when the yOungster
OF the family steals his fathers pipe
and hides with it and some matches
down behind the garden fence or behind
the barn, next to the field Of potatoes
He doesn't dare take up the straight to-
baCco, but he tries out some dried pO-
tatn stems in the pipe
The smoke sets the expcrimenter into
a dclciously dreamy state at first. bu;
the heart action aCcelerates in minute
or TWO in an effort to throw of the
poison through the lungs and skin The
dreamy state quickly disappears. the face
gets flushed. and the heart action rapidly
increases to severe palpitatiOn. The vic
tim feels wild. fierce eIation that i'm
pels him to action of any kind. In this
state he may do anything. but the stag"
is reached much more quickly than with
alcoholic liquors. ThC eyes become blind
and clouded. The pupils dilate as though
belladonna had been applied. The motor
centers are affected. and there is paral-
ysis Of the lower limbs. and the smokers
face gets pale, while drops of sweat
stand out. The potato stem smoke speed
lily draws victim down. He grows pale.
is gaunt and emaciated. ending up with
violent, acute mania, usually with hom-
icIdal tendencies"
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

After all, Honduras seems to be the
most interesting souvenir which Mr.. Nor
gan has yet collected.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

Champ Clark may be an optimist now,
but just wait until he has been Speaker
a year or so.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21

The cable is not quite inteIIigfble as
to which revolution is ended IN Haiti
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
Poor Old Pa.

I'VE dined out last evening. Pa dis
graced us, as usual"
-As to how?'
Got to the end of the dinner with
three forks and two spoons still unused" ="
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
Would BE Sensfble.

breast?"
Yes; and it gave me quite a start
at first. 1 thought the intelligent bird
was wearing a chest protector"
The Washington herald., 1911-02-21
Gone to Waste.
Same Old stock.

They say there are no new jokes"
Think not?'
'I don't see any new cherry tree
Jokes, must admit"