davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1911-08-21

,London, Aug. ls-Lsdy Arthur Paget has Gre
atsd sensation In cotrt circles BY inviting her
milliner. Mr. Tappe to dinner. attended BY
some Of the most exclusive peers and peeresses Of
England. Among those who attended the milh-
ner's unsnnoInced debut were Lady Sarah Wilson,
Mrs Cecile Bingham. Mrs. Leeds, and others.
Lady Paset cndeavored to sooth the outraged feel
inp Of her guests by asserting that Tape "was
an artist the sane, as a.painter or actor"
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21
NOticias

Aver, en- Martin Pena, Sc voIco uDa
maquina de cargar piedra, que condu-
c1a ell mecanico Pauline Rosa, de la
casa Portilla, y lie cogi0 tres dedos del
pie derecho, siendo necesario amputarle
unO.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21

70 Ft~ EST, NEW YORK kCi Y.
En'>'N y embarques de los E-,ados
d b II rarcarse segdn esta direrti6n
Me.Iiante eOllcitud 1e enviaremts etsuue-
LAS CON direction comDleta, tariiA y utros
infurmee CUE deBee
TipOe m6dtcos y servicio ra lido.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21

Anoche, en- Puerta de TERRA, IN i'll
dividuo dispar6 rn tiro de revolver y
cuando la polic1a trat6 de arrestar1o So
di6 a la fuga tiramdo el arlna, que fu6
ocupada por el polic1a No. 489.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21
Cine las be' hu1cra2

La empresa de dicho Cine nos remise
Ia gacetilla siguiente.
Hoy es el estreno de las grandas re-
for1nas ofrecidas al pilblico, eonsisten-
les en- un toldo de magnltica tela lna-
perrneabIe, nuevos redondeles y tres
abanicos electricOs.
Para introducir dichas reformas la
E1npresa no lla orNitido gasto alguno,
eontando sie1npre con Ell benepfacito y
protection CON que el p1blico en- gene
raj lie favorece Y le seguira faVorecien-
DO en- virtud de proporcionarle un local
con todas las comOdidades 6 lhigIene
4fonde pueda pasar agradabIes ratos
presenciando un espectacuIo digmo de
su cultura.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21
MADERO TRATARA
DEL ARMISTICIO
DESPUES DE ATACAR
A CIUDIAD JUAREI.

Nueva York, viernes.-
tMadero ha notifcado a los consulas
que atacara esta noche a Ciudad Jua-
rez. Tratara del asunto de tn annls-
ticio despu6s de la batalla. Sc ha re-
cibido la contestaci6n de Mexico a las
reclamaciones de los Estados Unldos.
Su texto no iha sido hecho ptlblico, pero
sc inforana que es completamente salts
factorio. El Embajador de Mexico de-
clara que dicha contestaclon es amls-
tosa en- su forma y esencia.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21

Anodhe, en- la carretera, parada o,
fue encontrada Basilia Sanchez, into
xicada con sublimado corrosive. F'u6
asistida en- la sala de socorro, pasando
despues al Hospital Municipal.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21
Secci6n Religiosa
LAS MISAS EN- SAN JUAN
DTAS IABORABLES


A las 5 1I2, en- San Ildefonso; las
6 liz, en- Santa Ana, Hospitalillo
Capitla Franciscana, a las Z, en- Ia Ca
tedral, San Francisco y Capilla Fran
ciscana, a las 2, en- la Caplla Fran
ciscana, las s 2, en- la Cathedral.
DIAS DE FIESTA
A las 5, en- Ia Catedral y HospitaIes
Mnnieipales.
A las / 2, en- San Ildefonso: a las
6, en- Sag:ta Ana; a las 6 l 2, en- San
Francisco; a las ] 2, en- el Ho>pitalI-
llo Capilla Franciscana las :, en- la
Cathedral San Jose; a las Z I ?, en- Ia
|Capilla F'ranciscana; las 5, en- la
Cathedral.
A las s en- San Jose y San Fran
cisco; a las 9, en- la Cathedral y Capilla
Franciscana q las 10, en- Santa Ana; Il
las II, en- Ia Cathedral.
MISAS EN- PUERTA DE TERRA
A las 9, en- la parroquia; a las 7 1I2,
en- Asilo de Ancianos.
MISAS EN- SANTURCE
Dias festivos: A las 5 l 2, en- .el Auxl-
] lilo Ninas; las 7 y 2, en- San Matco; a
| las 8, en- la Convalecencia; a las en-
San Mateo; las 6 3I4, las s as
10, en-. la Parroquia del Sagrado Cora
/ z0n.
Dias laborabIes: A las 5 l 2, en- ell
! Auxilio Mntuo y Convalecencia de Her
manas; las 7, en- San Mateo y Sagra-
do Coraz6n.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21
LAS PENSIONES
AL CLERO
FACILIDADES AL CUITOo

Nueva York, viernes.-
El clero en- seryicio actual con&Inuara
reoibiendo sus Ylonorarios hasta el pri
mero de julio, desputs de cHya fecha
sera pensionado. Toda la prOpledad
neeesaria para Ia celebraci6n del enlto
sera cedida al clero grataitamente.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21
La iglesia y el
Estado en- Portugal
E,T, DECRErO DE SEPAR.ACION-
NueYa York, yiernes. :

Nueva York, yiernes.-
El decreto de separation de La lgte-
sia del Estado en- Portugal sera pro-
nHlgado de hoy manana. Sc conce-
de Ia libertad de cultos, cesando asa ell
gsredo cat6lico de ser la religion del lis
tado. Todas las iglesias seran sosteni-
11as por sus adeptos~
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21
Una conision indtil
SE INQUIERE Ell
PREsUPUEsTO QUE CONSUME
Nueva York, viernes.-

Nueva York, viernes.-
FL Representative FitsgeraId ha pre-
sentado una resoluci6n pidiendo infor-
mes sobre los gastos ocasionados con
motivo del nombramiento de la Comi-
sion Monetaria. Sc cree que este es ell
primer paso hacia la abolici6n de dicha
Oomisi0n.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21
CENsT1RADA POR UN SENADOR.
Nueva York, viernes.-

Nueva York, viernes.-
Ell Senador Culberson ha presentado
una resoluci6n declarando que la ln-
te1venci6n de los Estados Unidos en-
Mexico serfa injustifcada y contraria
a los principles de gobierno.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21
Un bale en- Vega Baja

La Directiya del Casino de Vega Ba-
ia, nos invita- al bale que ha de llevar-
sc & efecto el domingo % del corrlente,
I'D
en- los salones de dicho clrculo.
Agradecemos La atencl6n-
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1911-04-21
El aument0 de
los representatives
COMO Ell PROYiECTO
CRUAIPACKER.

Nueva York, viernes.-
Ell proyecto de la Camara de Wash
ington aumentando ell nGmero de re
presentantes a 433 la sido infornado %
favorablemente. Este proyecto de ley
es identicamente igual al que presento
ell representante Crumpacler en- la Ill
TINA session.
Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1911-04-01
BUSINESS NOTES.

The Fair Ia Chicago's foremost de-
partment store and ID also the safest
II abounds with splendid ass0rtnents
Of merchandise exclusively for the use
Of men.
Maryland Reserve 10 O fav0rite with
all good judges Of rye whisky. Brsen
4 Kennedy, sole proprietors.
No bettsr place II Chicago for pic.
MICS. festivals and parties Of all kinds
than q James KolzeS beautiful Elec-
tric Park. at the corner OF Irving PARK
boulevard and Northwest cath street.
%6A
Rudolph Oslsnsr, SIC North Clark
street, u the sole agent Tor the Uaitsd
States for schloss BrunAsa. 0seolstsia.
Pilssn. Hofbrauhaus. Ausnehsa, Busr.
gorliehos Brauhaus. The Chicago Of.
- = under the Management Of VIM.
ohunAHAsf.
~
No wonder the business OF the Brand
ersWing Company. at 1851 nlston ave-
aue, increased over 100 yer cent during
lSes. Their famous Extra" brew has
Z worldwide reputation.
For badges, buttons and signs Of oil
kinds 20 to Geraghty 4 Co.. 81 La Sale
street
The business men who want the best
desks and once fittinss 20 to Rsvsll'A
II you cast be suited at Rsvell's you
can't b suited anywhere.
Tue ha1dsomsst. most sanitary and
most durable and e6leient coastruet3on
ever offered 10 the celebrated OPAL
Onyx Icslsss Soda fountains sold a.
clusively By the Bishop Z Babesek
Company. lS2 East washinstoa strsst
This big company which hes edaess
In the largest cities IN America, hes
no pssr Of IL kind In the world. and
everything It offers 10 the BEST. The
Chicago o6,css are under Ne capable
and popular management Of Cooper
Lyon.
For the finest tailoring at moderate
prices 60 to Tanner q Conley. Reaper
block. They stand In the front ranky
Of Chicago's leading tailora Tuxedos
and full dress suits can be rented.
&@
One OF the foremost concerns Of IL
kind In Chicago II the Lake Building
Material Company. Evsrythins IN IL
way Of lime. cement. rubbls. crushed
stone. plastsPs. lsth. sand. sewer pipe,
etc.. q handled By this big Arm. Matt
l. Mueller % president. John oelso-
bisWski b treasurer. end 4. WltAall
3 ssesstaSy. Once aAA yast1s ~ q
1lll Wsa tStA stTssG
Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1911-04-01

OFFICERS.
George NJ. Reynolds, President.
John Jay. Albeit, Vice.President.
Charles G. Wilson, Cashier.
Frank II. Jones, Secretary.
VIM. p. Kopf, Asst. Secretary.
George b. Caldwell. Mgr Bond Dept.
The combined deposits OF
these banks on September
LIST, 1910, date OF Comptrol- m. m
ler's call, were. .$lI4,S69'eSo'ss
f tSis SSss are cepc. ls7sol. oS725
Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1911-04-01

The Fair Ia Chicago's foremost de-
partment store and ID also the safest
It abounds with splendid assortnents
Of merchandise exclusively for the use
Of men.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
The Old, Old story.

Tired and dusty, party was re-
turning by train from holiday trip.
Simkins, little bald man, seated
himself down to read, but dropped on
to sleep. On the rack was a ferocious
crab in a bucket, and when Simkins
went to sleep the crab woke up and.
finding things dull in the bucket,
started exploring.
BY careful navigation Mr.. Crab
reached the edge of the rack. Down
1t fell. alighting on Simkln's shoulder.
and it grabbed the mans ear to
steady itself. The passengers held
their breath and waited for develop
ments, but Simkins only shook his
head and said:
Let go, Sarah; tell you / have
been at the office all the evening"
| Ideas.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
STILL IN HIS POSSESSION
Remarkable Coincidence IN sum o'
Money That Rastus HAD IN
His Pocket.

Rastus was on trial, charged with
stealing seven dollars and eighty.hve
cents. He pleaded not guilty, and, as
he was unable to hire an attorney, the
Judge appointed Lawyer Clearem as
counsel. Clearem put up strong
plea in defense. and Rastus was &C
quilted.
Counsel and client met few min
utes later outside the court room.
Now, Rastus," said Clearem
you know the court allows the
counsel very little for defending this
kind of case. worked hard for you
and got you clear. I'm entitled &c
much more pay than I'm getting fol
my valuable services, and you should
dig up a good-sized fee. Have you go'
any money!"
'Yes, boss" replied Rastus, Il don't
got seben dollahs and eishty-hV'
cents"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Showing slans.

A Wilmington woman recently
reached the conclusion that the at
tachment of a certain policeman for
her cook must be investigated, lest it
prove disastrous to domestic dis
cipline.
DO you think he means business
Mary?" she asked.
Il think SO, num- said Mary. He's
begun to complain about my cookin'
mum. Success Magazine.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Custom House Humor.

Two Germans who were crossing
the Luxembourg frontier declared to
the customs officials: We have with
us three bottles of red wine each.
How much is there to pay?" Where
is it," was asked. well, inside us"
The official gravely looked at his
tariff book and read; "Well in casks,
20 shilhngs. In bottles, As shillings.
In donkeys' hides, free. Gentlemen"
he added, looking up, you can co.
Der Guttemplair.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
RtonerIy located,

You write. The afterdeck bristled
with ft6wnihg guns said the editor
to the reporter who had been told to
write an account of the naval conflict
from cabled weather reports.
Yes, sir" timidly agreed the re.
porter,
well, why do the guns froWn on
the afterdecks? Don't they frown all
around the ship"
Possible so, sir. But thought nat
urally they would frown on the after
deck, that being the stern part of the
ship
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
An Effort 10 obIiqe.

MIR. Lowbrow does his best to be
agreeable" said the sympathetic
young woman. Its too bad he has
so little tact"
Il understand that Miss Coddleyap
refuses to speak to him. He sent he:
a box of candy, and she fed 1t all to
her pet terrier. So he tried to be still
more kind and thoughtful, and sent
her box Of dog biscuits Wash,
ington Star.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

First" says the lecturer, our fore
fathers assembled to their domiciles by
means of the tree trunks. next they
progressed to dwellings built upon
the ground. and naturally invented a
rude ladder by which to mount to the
upper floors; they then developed the
stairways, and from that by easy
stages came the elevator. Therefore,
we may say the tree trunk is the
father OF the elevator"
And" asked the bright scholar in
rear seat. after that may we reason
that the stepladder is the stepfather?'
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
AN ESTABLISHED FACTORY

Producing standard goods used by stores,
banks, farmers and practically everybody,
is sending it's special representative to
open distributing Office for this district
and other unoccupied territory and desires
q resident distributor with 5000 to 5000
in cash, carrying stock for immediately
filing orders; we allow 500 to $500 month
ly compensation, extra commissions, Of
fee and other expenses, per contract, ao.
cording to size of district allotted and
stock carried; permanent arrangements;
ouirements write promptly 'I6berty'
Manufacturing Association, $50 West HUI
ron ST., Chicago.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Didn't Speak the language.

Mr.. Howard was a man Of exceed
ingly few words. He positively dis
liked to talk, as an Indian dislikes to
smile. One day he went into a music
store to buy the music of an opera for
his sister. The clerk came up, and to
him Mr.. Howard said:
'Mikado' libretto."
The salesman frowned.
Whats that?" he asked.
'Mikado' hbratto," repeated the
other.
ME no speakee Italiano,' said the
clerk, shaking his head.-Washingtor
| Star
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Too Fresh.

"Will you promise to support my
daughter in the style in which she is
accustomed IL / consent to your mar
riage?" demanded old Skinfint, when
Dolby made his formal proposal.
well, I-rll promise to be tolerably
close with her, Mr.. Skinfint," said
Dolby, but you know. I'm a soft
hearted cuss, and I'm afraid she'll be
able to wheedle few things out OF
me that you were strong enough to re
fuse her."-Judge.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Decision Reversed.

The cook, who had held sway long
enough to be established as family
autocrat, was sent out to buy the
Christmas turkey. She returned with
two fine, plump chickens. why,
Mary" her mistress demonstrated, y
told you to get a turkey, not
chickens"
II know, num-" she answered, "bu'
| l don't like turkey"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Correcting a Mistake.

Girls Outstrip Men," says the head
of vassar college Evidently contrived
for the purpose of splitting the ma
tional lips! Why. making due allow
ance for insomnia, putting out the
cat, locking the side door and all the
other things occur to one after he has
the covers drawn over his neck, 6
man can still cross the borderland O
sleep before a woman get her hail
off.-Buffalo News.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
sartoriaiZ Suggestions.

But, sir" deferentially says the
tailor, while. of course. we can make
your trousers with so inch waist
band. sir, allow me to remind you that
your waist measurement is already
fifty-two, and
That's just it," interrupts the fat
customer. I've been trying to reduce
my weight for year-and no luck
Now. If l can yank my waistband oui
six or eight inches | can unconscious
" create the impression with myself
that I'm getting thinner"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Food for Repentance.

A we'll known federal official was
strolling down Philadelphia avenue
one afternoon when he encountered q
very small boy crying bitterly.
What's the matter with that
child?" demanded the official, some
what peremptorily, of the woman who
had him in charge. els he ill?"
HE amt exactly ill.," responded the
unmoved woman, but, between you
and me. sir, no stomach amt goin' to
stand nine success
Magazine.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
In Praise of EIoquenee.

An Alabama negro was defended in
court by Senator Morgan. Having
cleared the negro of the charge, the
senator said to him: "Rastus, did you
really steal the mule?"
well, Marse Morgan, 1t was Just
like this" said Rastus: u really
thought did steal dat mule, but at
ter what you said to the jury | was
convinced l didn't!"-Success Maya
| zinn
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Busted

Many man goes broken Health
then wealth. Blames his mind
says 1t don't work right; but all the
time it's his 6ovsts. They don't work
liver dead and the whole system gets
clogged with poison. Nothing kills
good, clean-cut brain action like con-
stipation. CASCARETS viii relievs
ard cure. Try it now. sle
CASCARETS 10 box for weeks
treatment. All druggists Biggest seller
In the world. Million boxes a month.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Very stronq.

Il see," said Skaters, that our old
friend Bilxins had strong srticel in
one of the Boston papers the other
day"
"Really?" said Binks, incredulously.
I'D never have believed that of old
Blk. What was it?"
"A recipe for picked onions" said
Slaters.- Harper's Weekly.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

A Massachusetts chief of police
wants the ducking-stool revived for
feminine scolds. He will want 1t still
more when the tongues he would thus
restrain have finished their assaults
upoN him.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
countrY,a oldest Weaver.

Mrs. Melissa Hodgdon, aged seven
ty-f1ve years, who runs four looms In
the weaving department OF the York
Manufacturing company, at Saco,
Me-, and claims the distinction Of be-
ing the Oldest weaver in the United
States, began work in this plant 90
years ago the middle of this month.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

A New Jersey woman in an aliena-
tion-of-affections suit recently recov-
cred $4,000 for the loss of her hus-
bands love. And many of her sisters
will probably consider her a lucky
woman. more to be tnvied than pitied
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

A bull fighter in Seville ran away
with a popular dancer. literally snatch
ing her from the stage. as her dane
ing costume was covered with a CLOAK
This shows that the bold LocainVar
was accustomed to taking the bull by
the horns in any dilemma.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
einks' Definition Of a Politician.

Champ Clark, at a banquet in Wash
ington, defended the honesty of Amer
lean politics.
st is cheap cynicism," he said,
nothing but cheap cynicism, to talk
like Binks.
"'Do you think it follows friend
said to Binks, that because man is
politician he is liar?'
"'Oh, no. Binks retorted; but un
less a man was an expert liar l don't
think he could be called much of g
politician"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

Now a woman speaker comes Tor
ward to say that it IS the iceeoX' not
the ballot box, which should interest
women. To the average woman "ho
wants to enlarge her sphere, encour,
aged by warm enthusiasm, this VIII
seem but cold advice.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

A Chicago matron AYERS that
breach of promise suit against her
husband merely amuses her. How
ever, that form of amusement Is not
likely to become generally popular
among the matrons.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Mhv2 lust Racause

Papa" said the little boy, why do
they say a woman is setting her cap
for a man when she wants to marry
him?"
Because, my son." explains the
father, softly, IF she sets her bonnet
for him she knows blamed well the
price OF 1t will scare him to death"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Bad Company.

Nurse ito Tommy, who has been
using some bad words)-"How dare
you, Tommy! Don't you let me hear
you say that again."
Tommy-"Well. Shakespeare says
1t, nurse"
Then you are not to go out play
ing with him any more."-M A. p.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
No skill Required.

my husband is particularly liable
to seasickness, captain" remarked a
lady passenger. Gould you tell him
what to do in case of an attack9
"Tain't necessary, num-" replied
the captain. Hell do it."-Mariner's
Advocate.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

II the day of the harem skirt has
arrived It will come in regardless OF
ieers and friendly or unfriendly legis'
lation. II 1t has not come then all the
advanced women in the world cannot
force It,
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Mad az the AGRICULTURAL.

Here am" said the returned wan
derer, back with the fortune l said
would make and ready to pay the mort
gage of the farml"
EFF that amt hard luck!" exclaim-
ed the father las times are goin'
now that mortgage amt botherin' no
body. I'd heap ruther have seen
you broke an ready to do regular work
for wages"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

A skeleton found in England is said
to be 100000 years old. This may be
remarkable, but is there any limit to
the age that skeleton may eventu'
ally attain?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

woman who was described by hei
artist husband as a modern Venus'
has Just been awarded $25 month
alimony. Well, all Venuses are sup
posed to be more or less broke
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
In Strict Confidence.

And you can tell my fortune If
you know what stars were most prom
inent when | was born?" she asks of
the astrologist.
practically. yes" answers the as.
trologist.
u suppose" she falters. I suppose
that is-of course, whatever l tell
you here Is to be considered a pro
fessional seeret?"
Most assuredly. You need not have
the slightest misgiving."
well, when l was born Murdoch
was getting the best press notices.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
Mo Trouble az All.

Have you any serious trouble with
your new automobile?"
mot bit. So far | haven't hit a
single man without being able to get
away before he got my number. =
Cleveland Leader.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05
HOPELESS.

Mother What are you doing
Harry?"
Harry-"Pm countin'. You told me
when l got mad to count hundred"
Mother-"Yes, so ! did"
Harry I've counted 237 and
I'm maddern when / started"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

An eastern savant tells us fat men
rarely are criminals. Julius Caesar
had the same idea-at least according
to Shakespeare, or Bacon, or whoever
1t was
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

American heiresses are waiting for
an advance list OF King Georges APP
pointments Of 500 new radical peers.
Some OF them will be laborites. no
doubt.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

The coronation OF King George VIII
introduce special styles in hats, sage
AN sxr,sssnge, which is tough luck Tor
the man who was claiming to wear
70 ,os - sears straw again.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1911-05-05

A New Jersey dog catcher proposes
to get EN- with an aeroplane. Then
TO the other triumphs Of aeronautlcs
will be added that Of bark sailing
through the air,