Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1911-01-13
CAUSED MUCH
CONNECTION


They have had more strovblS q
our meeting house. -
Last Sunday Rev. Mr.. Moody wal
just beginning his sermon and. had
uttsrede the words. Brethren. ]
wish to direct your attention this
morning to the fourth verse Of the
twelfth chapter Of Saint when q
hen emerged from the recess be-
meath the pulpit. AS she had Just
laid an egg. she interrupted Mr.. Moo
dy to announce the fact to the con-
gregation; and he stopped short az
she walked out into the aisle screech-
Ing! Kuk-kuk-kuk-kuk-te-ko! Kuk-
kuk-kuk-kuk-te-ko!
Mr.. Moody contemplated her for
. moment. and then concluded to go
on; but the sound of his voice SEEM
cd to provoke her to rivalry, and SO
she put ON q pressure Of five or six
pounds to the square inch. and made
such a racket that the preacher stop
ped again and said.
"Will Deacon Grimes please re-
move that disgraceful chicken, from
the meeting house?" r.
The deacon rose and proceeded
with the task. He first tried to drive
her toward the door, but she lodged
him. and still clucking vigorously.
got under the seat In the front pew
Then the deacon seized his umbrellas
and 'scooped her out into the aisle
again, after which he tried to 'shoo"
her toward the door, but she darted
into q pew, hoped over the parti-
ton, came down In the opposite pew,
and In the side aisle. making a noise
like a steam planning mill. The dea-
con didn't like to climb over after
her, SO he went around, and just as
he got into the side aisle the hen
few over In the middle aisle again.
Then che boys In the gallery laughed
and the deacon began to grow red in
the face.
At last Mr.. Binns came out of his
pew to help. and as both he and the
deacon made dash at the chicken
from opposite directions. she Jew up
with wild cluck to the gallery and
Nperched on the edge, while she gave
e4c4ted oppression to her views by
sn1lttnes dbout 500 clucks a minute.
The deacon. hung a hymn book at her
to scare her down again. but he miss
ed her and hit Billy Jones, Sunday
school scholar. in the eye. Then an
other boy in the gallery made dash
at her. and reached 70 far ever that
he tumbled AID {eis on Mrs. Mis-
keys summer bonnet. whereupon she
said Out loud that he was predestined
to the gallows.
The crash scared the hel. and she
dew over and roasted ON the stove
pipe that ran along Just under the
ceiling. fairly bowling with fright In
order to bring her down the deacon
and Mr.. Binns both beat on the lower
part of the pipe with their umbrellas,
and at the fifth or sixth knock the
pipe separated and about 40 feet Of
It came down with crash, emptyipg
q barrel or two of last winters SCOT
over the congregation.
Thera were women in the congre-
Cation who went home looking as II
they had been working in coal mine
and Wishing they could stab Deacon
Grimes without being hanged for
murder.
The hen came down with the
stovepipe. and as she few by Mr..
Bihns he made dash at her with
his umbrella and knocked her clear
through 415 pane of glass, where
upon she landed in the street and
hoped OF cluckiag insanely. Then
Mr. Moody adjourned the congrega-
ton.
They are going to expel the owner
Of that hen from church when they
discover his identity.