The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1911-12-13
INSURGENCY
THEIR THEME
All the Roasts of the Cridiron Din
ner Were Directed Toward
Progressive insurgency
SUPREME COURT WAS
ENTIRELY RECALLED
''Bath House" John Was Made
Chief Justice and Teddy and
Debbs Were Made Associated
Justices on the Bench

WASHINGTON. d. c., Dec. o.
"Round the table are offices fair;
President and congress all are there.
Look them over, you insurgent horde,
And take them all if you have the
sword"
This touching little parody of a
verse from Whitters poem Barbara
Frietchie," gave the keynote to the
December dinner of the Gridiron
club tonight. The red banner of in
surgency was flung to the breeze and
every skit and gibe was super charged
with the spirit of revolt against pres
emit conditions, political, social and
personal. Nothing was too sacred to
escape the irony and wit Of the actors
who played their parts on the small
stage and the choirsters who chanted
to the tune of popular airs the griev-
ances of the common people and the
glowing promises of the reformers.
That venerable body, the United
States supreme court, came in for it's
share of attention early in the even
ing. After an overwhelming majority
vote Of the diners had vanquished all
Of the regular candidates and placed
DIR. Wiley in the presidential chair,
the supreme court found itself COM
pletely reconstructed, having passed
Through the process of recall" The
new court was headed by Bath
House john Coughlin as chief JUS
tice, and among the associate justices
were Eugene Debs, "Hinky Dink"
Kenna, Sam Gompers, "Fingy' Con-
ners, Charlie Murphy. Stubs of Kan
eas, Ex-senator A1drich and Theo-
dore Roosevelt.
When the attorney for the sugar
trust, which was on trial before the
court, sought to call attention to the
law in the case, he was chided by
the chief justice with, "Can that chat
ter about law. We make our own
laws" The trust was convicted and
ordered pulled apart
The steel trust was the next victim,
charged with having "goldbricked T.
r." although the justice of that name
violently protested that "they didn't
gold brick me-" The protest did not
avail and the president of the trust
was sentenced to four hours private
conversation with Attorney General
Wickersham.
An appeal for an injunction to pre-
vent Bryan from again running for
the presidency was denied by Justice
Ahrich, who said: ooh, let him run.
What difference does it make?" At
torney General Wickersham asked for
an Injunction to restrain Champ Clark
from annexing Canada, but one Of the
justices suggested reciprocal action by
inviting Canada to annex Champ
Clark.
petition to prevent the Taft BOOM
ers from grabbing the presidential
nomination from Bob LoFollette was
denied on the ground that sit is no
crime to take candy from a child"
In the stirring ballad of Barbara
Frietchie,' which was dramatized for
this occasion, was shown the rough
window of the little cottage in Fred
erick. Md, when Stonewall Jackson's
troops passed through the old town.
Framed in the easement was the face
of Uncle Joe" Cannon, representing
the stand-pat element while the con-
federate leader was depicted as La
Toilette in the little military process
sion. With melodramatic effect the
troops halted, and musketry crashed:
''Then Barbara leaned out on her
window sill
And shook her banner with a royal
will,
Shoot If you must this old gray head,
But spare your party's flag she said -
AS the troops withdrew the reader
gave the last stanZa as follows:
1.-THE party flags may come and go,
The nation lives and fears no foe;
It's own fair flag flies full and free"
(Spotlight on American fag)
For every party and for you and me-
sensation was created among
the guests when William ]. Bryan was
unexpectedly introduced and made a
brief speech and repudated all the
doctrines the advocation of which
made him famous. He declared his
admiration for Harmon, his friend
ship for Clark, sympathy for Under
wood, but asserted his vote would go
to Taft. In the commotion that fol-
lowed it was discovered that Bryan
was successfully impersonated by a
great American actor, who justified
his deception by declaring that Bryan
was also great actor.
Some of the guests were President
Taft. Count Won Berstorff, the Ger
man ambassador; Secretary Knox, Nc
Veagh, Fisher, Meyer Stimson, Post
master General Hitchcock, Sir Gilbert
Parker, Speaker Champ Clark and a
number if senators and representa-
tives and other notables.
Genuine grand opera by the Grid
iron quartet and chorus was novel
feature of the entertainment. Faust,
somewhat condensed, was the act,
but it was distorted from its high
moral purpose to demonstrate the
certainty of the ultimate victory of
evil as represented by stand-patsm
The shade of the imm ortal bard,
Dante, being still in quest of knowl-
edge, made another pilgrimage to hell,
where he discovered some ancient
friends, such as Marguerite Democ-
racy, Progressive Faust and stand Pat
Mephisto. who sis nevere wholly
down and out Faust, pursued by
Miss Democracy, declared Next
year is leap year. She is on my trail