davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

From the Philadelphia Record.1
Some people give to charity without
ever giving it thought.
Second thoughts are often best. even
in a case of love at fret sight
It's always the other fellows poor
rule that won't work both ways.
A woman always feels privileged to
say disagreeable things to those she
loves.
1t is quite natural that a crema-
tory should pay according to its urn
ing capacity.
The coffee mother used to make has
furnished the grounds for many di-
vorce suit.
ct hate to have people walk all over
me-" complained the virgin snow. so
do L. can't bear people who do that,
agreed the thin ice
Tommy-Pop, what does "multum
in parvo" mean? Tommy's Pop
"Multum in parvo," my son, means
lot of questions in a small boy.
Blobbs-why did you cut that fell
low, Struckoil? Slobbs-He eats with
his knife. Blobbs-Oh, let him alone.
He'll probably cut himself.
Hoax-Sillicus was engaged to an
heiress. wonder why he broke it off,
Joax-He had an attack of indigestion,
and the doctor told him to avoid all
rich things
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.

IFrom the Atchison Globe.]
"You can say anything you want
about me-" said Count MCGOWAN to a
reporter, because if I don't like it I
will deny it,
When a boy gets the notion in his
head that he can make money selling
junk, Mother has to watch the cook
stove pretty closely.
A man occasionally devotes his va
! cation to kin visiting; good many
men are controlled to considerable
extent by their wives.
| It isn't recorded that any woman
ever thought so little of her sons
ability that she didn't expect him to
do better than his father did.
! While it may take smart man to
play a good game of checkers, q smart
man can do a number of things OF
more importance to the race.
What has become of the old-fash-
toned woman who spent most of her
spare time in the gladstone pastime OF
fearing she would be buried alive?
Lacking the artistic temperament
and other Finer Sensibilities, we are
unable to see a great deal of differ
ence between nude and naked.
While it isn't advisable for the aver
/ age outsider to dip into kin row
there is no denying that lawyers have
been known to do pretty well by theil
efforts in that line.
Preachers are underpaid, but {
mean man suggests that occasional!
they are overpaid in the matter o.
wedding fees; SO many OF the bonds
of wedlock fail to pay interest.
There's isn't any sure method b.
) which young man may win the hear
land hand of the girl of his choice, blu
parental objection probably helps hin
more than anything else
A man who has to buy his broiler
isn't greatly interested in reports o
| chickens Matched in January; h
knows he won't be able to afford any
J thing young in the poultry line unit
!, about the Glorious Fourth anyhow.
; While the man who drops the con
: tents of his weekly envelope in slo
> machine or the bar boys init, an
goes home and lays it on the hold-ul
man, isn't exactly True Sport, Meth
? l er is he so much of a liar as on
? might at first infer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

that any rules can be devised Whlcn
will put a stop to 1t. The Iraolhs =.
votes is purely private ana PersonaA
matter between the members VINO 10
so. The public is not taken INTO tnelr
condolences, and it usually might DC
difficult to prove that any two mem
bers had entered into vote-lraolng
Arrangement. It's up to the members
of the legislature themselves TO prins
an end to this practice. Their sense
of duty to the public ought TO De
sufficient to tell them that vote-trao-
ing is neither an honest nor ralr
way of effecting legislation on any
subject. whether it be unimportant OF
of the gravest concern.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Aged Derelict-Excusin' the liberty OF
arskin' a favor, mum, but would yer Oh,
shed? Soft-hearted woman-Poqr man;
you had better come up to the mouse SsSir shsie
mas pudden.-Ideas-
Why did he marry his deceased wife's
in-law."-Judge.
Bishop had officiated in the college
chapel and, though his discourse was
excellent in itself. it had no obvious con
nection with the text. At dinner Prof.
sermon. Dear old mani" he exclaimed
1T was truly apostolic. He took q text
and then went everywhere preaching the
acknowledgements.
Novice-It must be a dreadful sensation
to run over mani Chauffeur-Not near
~ SO dreadful as to run over a cow-and
1t doesn't fnjure the machine so much
Judge.
At the Box Onice-Ticket Seller-Iow
many? Absent Minded Student = Two
standing Observation-Disclosures Jes-
ter.
Here comes the BRIDE hailed Maude
Futon o, as demgre young beauty iya and ana
supper party. Then she told a story on
her blushing young friend. CThe friend
same hotel with Ethel said Miss Fulton,
land sit at the same table with her. Yes
sull1ed at luncheon and at dinner was so
cold that her adoring young husband was
almost dlstfaeted; FROM SOUP 10 cone e
the nature of his offense. Finally Ethers
lips began to culver and a great big tear
She burst forth, If ever dream again
| that you have kissed another woman I'll
never speak to you as long as 1 live"-
Young's Magazine.
| Crawford-Do you approve of women
going into politics. Crabshaw-Sure. Look
at what pretty bosses they would make
| Judge.
| James K. Hackett recently said at a
| luncheon in Pittsburg: IAN actor should
| be modest, and most actors are. But I
know young actor who. at the beginning
far This young man inserted in all the
dramatic papers a want advertisement
part, such as dead body or outside shouts,
preferred '-Argonaut
| Psychic Phenomenon-A man and
woman accidentally touched each others
said he. Communion of solos," said she.
Judge
The Cabbage-were you ever on the
stage? The Egg.No; but one of my fam,
a big hit.-smart Set.
Il Crawford-Isn't it strange your wife
hasn't spoken TO you Slnce the Hlg 1T you
came home late? Crabshaw-I don't think
SO. She said enough to me then to last
| a month.-Smart Set.
! Had Tough Foot.-A bare-footed negro
wandered into a blacksmith shop in a
| little southern town. While watching the
smith pound the iron into shape he uncon-
/ sciously stepped on a red hot coal. After
| several minutes had passed he sniffed his
nose once or twice and remarked in an
incidental way, "Peahs to me- sab. dat
smells rubbah burnin'."-Mack s Monthly.
The tough customer was struggling with
| a tough steak in a toughrestaurant. Say.
| your he finally roared at waiter. 81
amt used to eatin' rhinoceros hide-fetch
me something little more nourishin', in
hurry AN, fade away little ther; one
what do you t'ink this joint is-a diet
kitchen ?''-Mack's National Monthly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News. ]

[From the Chicago News.1
Cold coffee may make the boarders
hot.
A woman laughs at love only when
she is afraid of it.
It's usually great bore for the bur-
g1ar if the safe is locked.
After finishing some things it keeps
US busy keeping them finished.
Fair exchange is no robbery, but u.s.
ually one of the parties geS stuck.
Self denial as practiced by some
people means that they deny them
selves nothing.
When it comes to telling fortunes
the bank teller leaves the fortune
teller at the post.
A man usually leaves the band on a
two for five. cigar SO that people Will
imagine it is a ten center.
A woman can't resist buying a 10
cent pan marked down to 8 cents, even
If her kitchen is full Of them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
JOURNAL ENTRIES

When man acts like perfect fool
he generally is one.
\
The best judgment of many man
is likely to be no good.
=
Too many folk want to get more out
of life than they put in 1t.
4 X
IT takes a real salesman to sell a
man who does not want to buy.
Y X
individuals who give the most adj
vice are usually the least willing to. &C.
cept any.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
SHAME

was ashamed I dared not lift my eyes.
l could not bear to look upon the skies
y What had done, sure, everybody knew.
From everywhere hands pointed where
stood,
And scornfuI eyes were piercing through
and through
The moody armor of my hardihood.
I heard their voices, too-each word an
asp
That buzz'd and stung me sudden as a
flame;
And all the world was iolting on my
name,
And now and then heard a wicked rasp
or laughter, jarring me to deeper sname
And then I looked. and there was no
one nigh,
No eyes that stabbed like swords or
glinted sly:
No laughter creaking on the silent air;
And then found that I was all alone
Facing my soul, and next I was aware
That this mad mOckery was all my own
James Stephens, in the London Nation
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

This unusual brand of summer
weather that has prevailed during
the present Kansas winter season is
beginning to have it's effect. A western
Kansas man dropped off in Wichita
the other day hunting for harvest
hands. He was obsessed with the
hallucination that his wheat was ripe
and beginning to fall.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.1
When a woman has curly hair it's
sign IT'S naturalsif it's only pinned on
Extra useful things are specially
destitute of fun for those who own
them.
A girl would seldom hesitate be-
tween the choice of good looks and
good character.
A man is always much more asham-
ed of being known as small fool
than of BEING big one without it be-
ing known.
A widow has the genius to pretend
she is old enough to be a young man S
grandmother and middIe-aged man .
Observation-Disclosures.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

with all due respect to its abilities
and perspicacity, the Danville grand
jury which is investigating election
frauds, seems to have started on wild
goose chase. It is reported to be go
ing after the men higher up" So lit
tie success has been achieved in this
country in getting next to these fell
lows that many people are probably
convinced they are prominent MEM
bers OF the John Doe family.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

you here and nurse you until you
have recovered 80.
Meriden became q willy peEsinnlst.
st recover slowly he said. always
recover slowly from sickness-and &C
cident Slowly" he repeated Win
peculiar emphasis.
turned away her head.
In the heart Of Meriden there was
no thought of Dolly Condon.-(Copy-
righted 1911 by Associated Literary
Press.l
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Mrs. Brookins, who is suing her IA
nous aviator husband for a divorce.
declares that he was an that could be
desired in worser half until he took
to hight flying And other women
can probably say the same thing of
their husbands who don't happen to
ba avfafors
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Goose-bone weather prophets in
various sections of the state have seen
ducks flying north already and they
look upon this activity as a sure sign
of an early spring. Just ordinary
folk have been of the opinion that
spring or a fine imitation of It has
been here for two or three weeks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

In addressing a MONDAY meeting
at the Y. M. G. A. the other day on
the subject of letter-writing. F. D.
Coburn, secretary of the Kansas de-
partment of agriculture, declared that
the first thing to be observed was po-
likeness; second, legibility, and third,
lucidity. And it might be well for ev-
eryone to paste these simple but eff
fective rules for letter writing in his
hat for ready reference.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Only 1000 of the voters of Topeka
are registered and qualified to vote at
the spring election. Capt. Titus, the
election commissioner is to be com
mended for urging that the unregis-
tered voters in the city do their duty
in the premises. A full expression OF
the sentiment of the entire people OF
the city is most desirable at the COM
ing municipal primaries and the SUBJ
sequent election.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

One man killed and six other persons
seriously injured represent the casual
ties that were incident to a recent au-
tomobile Joy ride in Denver. The
time has long since passed when
a more appropriate characterization
should have been given to affairs of
this sort. There is surely nothing par
ticularly joyous or festive in dashes to
death and injury
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Many audible smiles will likely
greet the opinion of the president of
the New York state lunacy commits
sion that the ringing of church bells
is a contributing cause in many cases
of insanity. Silence has also been
known, or has been credited with driv-
ing people insane. So these are other
instances where you can pay your
money and take your choice.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Perhaps George Gould has felt COM
PEELED by necessity to give UP the ac-
tive management and f1nanciering of
the Missouri Pacific. He now has a
titled son-in-Iaw to finance. and that's
no email Job.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Facts are facts but they never in
terfere with a mans fancies. This is
the only explanation possible for the
insistence of William Allen White that
Dave Leahy ''everlastingly made good"
in his mix-up with the senate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Francisco I. Madero, who has pro-
nounced himself as provisional in
surrecto president of Mexico, is one
of those men who is easily satisfied.
He is reported to be well suited with
the progress of the revolution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Few conditions ever exist which
might not be worse. There is no United
States senatorial deadlock on to ag-
gravate matters in the Kansas legis-
lature.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Higher education is getting, thsre.
An anti-cussing club has been or
gained among the students at the
state university.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

No revolution being on tap there
Just at this minute all of Nicaragua
has been placed under martial law.
Unless there was something like war
on the boards. things would not be
normal in the Banana republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
or THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal IS a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news Is received in The State jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
FpOA O7EER PENS
AN UNSATISFACTORY VILLAIN.

AN UNS1A SATISFACTORY VILLAIN.
Whatever else may be thought of
DR.. Pantcheko, the Russian physician
who is accused Of having made a
business of removing inconvenient
husbands or wives or those who stood
in the way of SUGGESTIONS to large in
heritances, as a witness he is a dis
appointment 1t is only necessary to
compare him with Harry Orchard, the
western dynamiter, to perceive how
poor a figure he cuts as grand GRIM
inal. Orchard was cool and straight
forward in the recital of his crimes.
He told his story without Wanting
and without weakness. Nothing shook
him, and cross examination did not
weaken him. What he confessed he
did not take back. And he had a rea-
son for making his confession, since
he declared that a religious awaken
ing within him made him desire to Of
fer every PREPARATION to society within
his power. He left the impression of
a stolid, unima ginative man who might
use dynamite with as little compuc-
ton in blasting out human lives as
in blasting out ore from tho depths OF
a mine.
But the Russian physician has al
ready confessed and denied his con-
fession. He has given no satisfactory
motive for confessing at all. He goes
white in the court room and feebly
means, st don't want to tell" And
he cringes 4nder the hypnotic eye
of his alleged accessory. He appears
weak fellow, lacking that stolid in
sensibility which might make man
monster of crime under the instiga-
ton of a more powerful character, in
the way Orchard pretended to have
become one and, on the other hand
that pride in the magnitude of theil
offenses which imaginative rascals Of
ten have.-New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
RICH MEN AND CRITICISM.

The Countess Szechenyi, who was
Gladys Vanderbilt, is quoted as COM
planning that the public seems deter
mined to criticise the rich for what
they do with their money, no matter
whether they keep it or spend it, and
no matter what may be the object
selfish or altruistic-that they seek to
attain by it's use. More in detail her
complaint is that if the rich keep their
money they are called mean; if they
spend it they are accused OF extrava-
gance; If they invest it they are said
to be aiming at monopoly; II they play
the market they are called gamblers: .
if they give away as Carnegie and
Rockefeller do they are tod tnat they
are doing more harm than good.
The countess herself would seem
from a disinterested standpoint to be
performing very creditably the part
| of a custodian of large means, though
| Americans who maintain that Ameri-
| can dollars should not go out OF Amer
! lea will feel a grievance In the fact
| that she married a foreigner and went
| abroad with him to i've In her hus-
| bands native Hungary she has been
repairing and adding to his patrimonial
| estates and going in for agriculture on
/ a large scale. In this respect the pair
seen, TO have congenia1 tastes and to
4 be pursuing a course very IKE thai
followed in Ireland by the duke and
duchess of Manchester. the duchess, il
will be remembered being the daugh-
ter Of Eugene zimmerman, the Gin
cinnati railroad president and stock
holder in the Standard OIL company.
| Evidently the countess is hurt more
or less by what may seem to her
and what really is-very like unrea-
Isoning hostility. It should be unnec-
/ essary to have to write in the defense
Milwaukee Wisconsin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
Careless About His Business.

at hate to see any man get careless
about his business said Mr.. Mac
Whackleton. beggar stopped me on
thestreet yesterday. and started on
with this:
i've just come out of the hospital.
and
st looked him over and-hospitai?
Why, he hadn't been near hospital
for three months, If ne ever was IN
one in his life: he was plump and rud-
DIV as any of US, and yet here he was
with that foolish, careless, thought
less story about coming out of hos
pitaI Didn't even take the trouble to
try to invent something that Woula
hold water If he can't do better than
that he will be in a hospital before
1ong.-NeW York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Crawford-Do you approve of women
going into politics. CrabShaw-Sure. Look
at what pretty bosses they would make
Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Novice-It must be dreadful sensation
to run over mani Chauffeur-Not near,
~ so dreadful as to run over a cow-and
it doesn't injure the machine so much
Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

At the Box Office.-Ticket Seller-How
many? Minded Student - Two
standing room-together.- Jes-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

James K. Hackett recently said at a
luncheon in Pittsburg: IAN actor should
be modest, and most actors are. But
know a young actor who, at the beginning
of his career, carried modesty almost too
far. This young man inserted in all the
dramatic papers a want advertisement
that read: Engagement wanted-Smal
part, such as dead body or outside shouts,
preferred ''-Argonaut
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17
HUHoR or THE DAY

Aged Derelict-Excusin' the liberty of
arskin' favor, mum, but would yer Cd,
ject to ne commitin' sooeyside in yer
shed? Soft-hearted woman-Poqr man;
you had better come up to the house, ana
I will give you the remains of my CHRISTI
mas pudden.-Ideas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Crawford-Isn't it strange your wife
hasn't spoken to you since the night you
came home late? Crabshaw-I don't think
SO. She said enough to me then to last
a month.-Smart Set.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

A Psychic Phenomenon.-A man and
woman accidentally touched each other S
feet under the table. Secret telegraphy,"
said he. Communion of solos, said she.
Judge
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

The Cabbage-Were you ever on the
stage? The Egg-No; but one of my fam
lily was once cast for the villain and made
big hit.-Smart Set.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

Bishop x had officiated in the college
chapel, and, though his discourse was
excellent in itself, it had no obvious con-
nection with the text. At dinner Prof
Y was asked his opinion of the bishops
sermon. Dear old mani, he exclaimed:
1t was truly apostolic. He took text
and then went everywhere preaching the
goSpeL"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-02-17

why did he marry his deceased wife,s
sister," so as only to have one mother
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-09
REFUSES TO PAY MONEY;
THEN BOMB EXPLODES
Chicago Black Handlers Act Within
Two Hours After Time
Expires.

CHICAGO, January 9.-Within two
hours after the expiration Of the time
set for Paul Figaro to deposit $1,000
on the mail box at Chicago avenue and
Larrabee street to satisfy the demand
Of Black, Handlers, bomb was exploded
last night in the basement Of his dry
goods store, partly wrecking the store
and building and throwing the residents
of the North Side Italian quarter into a
state Of panic.
1t was the second bomb aimed by
members Of the Black Hand at Figaro.
Five months ago he refused to accede to
demands made OF him, and twenty-four
hours after the last warning was given a
bomb was set off in the same spot where
last nights explosion caused such dam
age.
II am thought by some to be rich," said
Figaro, .but am poor man and did not
have the money. Five months ago the
same men made a demand for $1,000 and
said they would blow up my place and
kill my family il l refused. / didn't
have the money then and haven't the
money now"