The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-10-16
EVENING CHAT
BY RUTH CAMERON

Il know man who was insanely in
love with a beautiful and superior wo-
man He simply wOrshipped her on MS
knees. Now they are married and he
scarcely treats her decently. And yet
I'm sure that if she hadn't married
him, he'd have gone on worshipp1ng
her forever. Isn't that enough to make
woman cynical about marriage?"
So one of my correspondents ques-
tons.
No, that's not enough to make wo-
man cynical about marriage-at least,
not this woman
Superior beings are rot always the
easiest people in the world to live with
I'd really like to know the husband
side of this case.
Perhaps he doesn't treat her unkind-
ly at all I have a feeling, somehow,
that the whole trouble is that he has
gotten off his knees and she feels ag-
grieved at that change of attitude.
think that is one of the commonest
causes of matrimonial discord in the
first year of married life. The lover,
having become the husband, gets off
his knees, and the sweetheart, having
become the wife, resents his doing so.
And what would you have?
Can a man with the livelihood to
earn for himself and another, remain
perpetually on his knees? OF course
he can't. He's got to stand up on his
two feet and hustle.
And when he does that, he's doing it
for her, as we'll as for himself And
yet, lives there a woman that doesn't
feel at least a little bit aggrieved, when
she sees her husband brush the dust
off his trousers-as it were-and rise
erect to kneel no more?
The woman with common sense soon
calls that common sense to her rescue
and becomes resigned to the inevitable
state of affairs.
But the dreamer, the idealist-to
1tr1i n17 rIl Il
periOr woman doubtless belongs
takes the change much harder. She
not only feels, but acts much aggrieved.
She puts on an injured air which prob
ably vastly mystifies her husband She
often says, You never used to do so
and-so"
Whereupon the husband, who knows
that he is doing what is logical and
right, who loves his wife as much as
if not more, than his sweetheart and
who is totally incapable of understand
ing the feminism of her attitude, nat
urally feels Indignation, and, after pa
tiently enduring the unpleasant atmos-
phere which she creates, finally rebels
and gives her real reason to feel ag-
grieved.
And there you are with a matrimonial
rift wide and ready, to be wider at the
slightest provocation. And all with no
logical cause at all.
The whole thing reminds me of the
silly saying, "A man never runs for a
car after he gets it, which I have
often heard people quote in regard to
marriage with most cynical emphasis
OF course, a man never runs for car.
after he gets it. But would you wan.
him to? What would you think of him
if he did?
Listen, brides and brides-to-be. When
a man, in the change from lover to
husband, does not lose his willingness
to work for you, his respect. his cam
aradeTie, and his tenderness towards
you you may be pretty sure that, no
matter what minor changes in his
manner there are, you have no reason
to feel aggrieved
Don't act abused because he has risen
from his knees. Be glad that it is a
hlnd, strong man who stands erect on
his two feet before you, ready to take
your hand in his and walk with you
and guide you and make a pathway
for you to the Journeys End.