Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-12-21
dignity amt got anything else.

When a Teller is in no hurry to git
! there h train is always on time.
I v seen the champion pool play
er of n village git to be a million
aire.
I never heered OF one of them par
lor joke entertainers dyin' Of brain
fever.
1 There amt n. Onc-armed restau-
rants pumpkin pie like mother used to
make.
A Teller doesn't know anything I'M
til he's 40 years old. then he knows
he doesn't
I v see au elephant yet tha
didn't look as though he needed his
suit pressed. -
A Teller that marries a homely gal
never dies OF indigestion. fer she is'ab
ways a good cook.
The Teller h a listens gets along {.
about twice AZ well in this world IN
the Teller that talks.
There would never be q divorce IL q
usban and wife would only take
turns at gettin's mad. Z.
There amt nobody who Is such Q
bore as the Teller who has been in New
r C and only once.
II q Teller could remain q football
nero all his life. the n would be
wuth while. but he can't.
Why not call It he whether bureau?
The bureau usually can tell whether
1t Will or whether 1t won't. !:
About the most pesterin' job I know
saurkraut with q safety razor.
entered h ministry. My, what q bar
tender that man would have made!
There is no m theater hend
who will brag that she saw ''Uncle
Toms Cabin with the original cast.
Red flannel underwear ant 30 much
OF a sign OF aristocracy as 1t was back
IN ionee days OF the lumber industry.
Judging from his trips, another
thing that Taft needs more than, an
assistant president in u traffic man
ager.
There is one time when q Teller likes
to have the blues, and that is TN a
poker game. A stack OF EN- is worth
| While.
Deacon Pringlc, who had got a home
made automobile, keeps the headlight
on behind SO that nobody will run over
him.
New Years day so as to nave an OPP
portunity to give away his Christmas
cigars.
If any leaf and dumb Teller ever
goes into the barberin' business he Is
going to git about all of the trade
there is.
It is getting so you can't tell an
actor any longer by the fur trimmed
overcoat. He is just as apt to be a
chauffeur,
1T seems as though every feller that
can scrape up enough for q dress suit
nowadays thinks that he has got to
get married.
What has become OF the celiuloid
toilet set you gave your wife for
WHAT"
Outside of sending a high rollin, kid
to college. about the surest way TO die
poor is to start in bein' a good feller'.
yourself.
1t Is said that one-half the world
does not know how the other half
,Ives. put That is q cinch. The other
half Is selling life Insurance..
There are two kinds of men who
down't know anything about women
M they are the married men and the
single men.
There are fellers in this world who
VIII spend 81 worth of time trying to
save z cents and then wonder why they
don't get ahead.
Mrs. Anse Judson dassent leave the
garden hose out night when Anse
comes home late. Anse is an alnmnI1
of the jag institute.
/. One of the most e~mbarrassin' things
IN this world is an engagement ring
that begins to turn green after she has
had 1t a week or two.
During these times Of great nrosner.
ity, about the only people that i bank
on both ends meet are the con.
tortionists In the circus.
Miss Amy Pringle says IL IA fercA
wnen a single lady finds out that for
the frst time she has been mistaken
Tor q chaperone at a social.
Uncle Ezra Hanks says things ain'f
exactly right in life when q Teller eets
Old and needs a lot Of hair to Keen his
mead warm. he amt got any.
The school board has had to buv .ev.
en- new snow shOvels this vear m.
new teacher is a physical culturist and
mas worn 'em all out on the kids.
Hank Tumms bought an encyclona.
osa on the installment plan II yeara
asoe: n he figgers that he has Tot IL
paid for almost down 10 Anaath.
Anse Frisby says he has got n nev
typewriter that he can carry aromn2
i, his suitcase. Must be some cra,nn.1
for the lady to be toted around th.s
way. 1880
T. rockingham Butts, our co,le..
graduate, has gone down to New Ha-
ven to see his alma mater. Folks
mere believe he will marry that cal
some time.
Elmer Jones, Of our village. evidently
means to commit suicide by starvation.
Tor he IL out c~anvassing our county,
rient In the winter with q book on ~
/ M -.