davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Travelling Mans Experience

F Concerning interchangeable mileage books, it is not fair for anyone to say that the travelling men are more fussy than ever.' ' said prominent commer- cial traveller Now, who keeps up the railroads? We go to every point reached by railway, and sell goods to people that they had never heard of, and create demand that not only adds travel to the railroad lnes but tonnage also Now, used 10000 miles of mileage during the year just closed, and sometimes l have had to wedge my way up to the ticket of flee as many as six times in one day and await the pleasure of $40 agent in small towns. If I should suggest that the agent is slow in making out the ticket l am informed that I should have come soon CT; but if I could have my mileage pulled on the trains I could stay with my cus- toner until the train whistled and do bus mess and make tonnage for the railroad up to the last minute, then step on the train and go to the next town; but mo- am compelled to go to the station 10 or 20 minutes before the train is due 10 get in line to get my ticket and when get up to the window and meekly ask for an exchange ticket and ask Is the train on timer am informed quite often that the train is 60 minutes late. Had this fact been posted I would have been saved lot of time and worry.
 "As to the special rate of cents, 1T make short jump of three or four miles I am compelled to give up five miles, and if the place to which I want to go IS one-tenth of a mile beyond the mile post I am required to pay for full mile. These things are not exacted of the pas senger who puts up the money when he buys his ticket, but such is required Of him who pays from week to six months In advance; not only this, but nine out of 10 times he will pull out one and some times several miles too much, and If he is checked up on 1t he will offer to re- fund, but if it happens to be only one mile he will pass it up and it goes into the treasury of the railroad.
 "I do not like to kick, but I think we have cause to be fussy. The few things I have mentioned do not begin to be all of our troubles"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
An Excellent Start

The state senate has reflected high credit upon itself in electing Hugh Nor row president pro tenn of that body This is a position of far-reaching importance and the particular significance of the choice lies in the fact that while the senate had excellent material from which 10 select, the man pre-eminently fitted is the man who has just been honored.
 Senator Morrow is yet young man but he has served a term in the senate and his record there established his reputa- tion not only as a clean, high-minded gentleman. but as a practical leader and a statesman-one who takes large view of large questions. He is one of the ablest lawyers of the Birmingham bar and one of the largest taxpayers in Jeff well as lawyer and being large prop erty owner he is especially well qualified to represent the vast vested interests of Alabama.
 The action Of the senate in electing High Morrow Is an unmistakable evil dence, therefore. of the sane, conservative trf1 ,F 1,ot bod. o,,1 r..tz. attitude toward the upbuilding forces that only need encouragement to make Alabama move forward in the years to come as never before.
 Judge E. B. Almon, who has been elected speaker of the house. is, like Jef- ferson county's senator, a high type of man, and like him, too, he represents the upbuilding spirit.
 | The two positions of highest rank in the legislature having been filled our law makers will now proceed with their work,
 while the public will feel assured that no measures antagonistic to capital or | to the people will be enacted at this ses- | sion or at any special session that may be called during the next four years. A happy and a prosperous era in the states history Is certainly promised and Ala bama's future never looked brighter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
GOING TO BED

From the New York Mail.
 Those of us who have come from farm or village have remarked how much longer it takes us to dress in the morning or undress at night than 1t did when we were boys, and we have feared that we were getting numbering and intellectual of movement. Any country boy can wash and dress-to be exact, dress and wash-in five minutes and be ready for breakfast, and he can undress for bed in minute. It make take city man bed and sitting down at the table, and half as long when 1t comes to retiring But the difference is not between youth and age or country and city, but just be- tween donning or doffing clothes and doing number of other things which were never dreamed of in the barefoot boys philosophy What does the latter do at night? Merely sheds shirt and trousers and slips nightshirt over his head. In the morning he reverses the procedure, and dips his face in basin.
 When the city man retires he goes through his exercising stunts, shunting over his constitutional into the last mo- ments of the day. Often he takes bath, then he messages his hair Then he clears out his head with a nasal douche. Then he drinks glass of sour milk and eats an apple. Then he brushes his teeth, rubs his gums with zinc preparation, rinses his teeth with milk of magnesia, swallows little quinine to head off that cold and bathes his eyes in a salt solu ton. In the morning he does most of these things over again, and throws in a shave Rising and retiring have been de- veloped into a series of operations the purpose of which is to keep the body clean, to preesrve health and to retain youth and all it's assets of teeth and hair and vision uhimpaired.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
INCORRIGIBLE "SNOW BIRD.

From Scraps.
 This snow," said an army officer, 're- minds me of a time years ago when I was stationed at Fort Sheridan. It was about November l, when a big snow storm came. The weather got cold and bad, and one day a deserter, who had got tired drifting around. wandered in. He admitted he was a deserter, and was sent to the guardhouse. Well, the grub was good and he got fat. Along about Christmas time he began to feel sorry that he'd surrendered himself. So he sat down and wrote the most pathetic letter you ever heard of, telling how sad it was for a soldier to be locked, up in the guardhouse at a time when everybody else was happy and merry. He addressed it to Mrs. Benjamin Harrison, wife of the President. That was the first Mrs. Harrison, a fine, tender-hearted women. It reached her Christmas Eve. We'll, Mrs. Harrison was so affected by that letter that she sat down and cried. She took 1t to her husband, and in 4S hours an or der came to the post from the President of the United States to release the snow bird Of course he was released. That was Christmas Day. The boys were feeling good and they asked him to join them in the Christmas show at the bar racks, and then counseled him to go his way and sin no more. He went his way, all right, but when he was gone 1t was found he'd taken all the com pany money the first sergeant had on hand and that he'd made way with a gold watch belonging to the duty ser geant. And he was never heard pf again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
An Eminent Mans View.

People who are interested in prohibi- tion as a sociological question should read the essay on Prohibition and Temper ance' by Prof. Hugo Munsterberg, the famous psychologist of Harvard univer- sity," said a man who is interested in the cause of temperance
 q have heard many arguments ad- vanced against prohibition. but Munster berg gives number that are new and interesting. He is against prohibition, he says, not because he Is a German, but because he is psychologist. While he neither drinks nor smokes himself, the distinguished professor makes the declar- ation that the United States could not do without alcoholic beverages, and says he would be opposed to prohibition even if 1t really prohibited. The temperate use of alcohol, he states, affords a mild and not very harmful means of relaxation from the highly wrought nervous condi- ton of nearly all Americans, and com plete disuse of alcoholic drinks by all Americans would simply mean the substi- tuition of some drug or drugs. which would perhaps, be more harmful.
 "Munsterberg suggests the German cafe system as the cure for intemperance, de- claring that the American saloon is a great evil. He may not be right, but the essay is certainly worth the reading"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
 Word has come at length from Meme Wallace, the Eskimo boy who, as an in fant, was brought here by Captain Peary fl years ago. He writes to his great friend, MT. R. Chester Beecroft of 1402 Broadway, New York, that he is unfit to live either in America or the far north, and that there is no fit place for him on earth any more. The boy, with his father, who was chief of the tribe. and two oth- CTS, were brought to this country and used for scientific experiments by the American Museum of Natural History. All the others died here. In America the boy attended the public schools and Man. haitian college, with fairly good credit to himself But he wanted to go back to the land of his fathers, went back, and now finds he is unfit to live either there or here.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

ads and run a press and make rollers of glue and molasses. If at any time Smiths Quarterly does not suit me shall sus- pend it and return the money to my handful of subscribers.
 Some day I may attempt to 'come back as Jim Jeffries did. It is extreme ly probable that I shall often send con- tribution to the Globe to be refused or accepted as the news editors see fit. I have great interest in the paper. After I am rested I may "sub" for some of them, for l can do anything down there except run a linotype, and I have mo- tion to induce Harry Westcott to teach me that. t. a l am retiring to a farm because I am ambitious to have no more to do than a farmer My present intention is to issue Smiths Quarterly, John Smith. N. K, ed- itor. monthly at first. When I become older and lazier I shall issue it once in three months. Price, 10 cents per copy. But now is not the time to subscribe, be- cause I shall not issue the first number until April 1.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
All Know About Birmingham

"Of all southern cities Birmingham without doubt is uppermost in the minds of the people of Cincinnatb'' said George H. Kersting of that place. q have been coming to Birmingham for the past five years and I think I am sufficiently familiar with conditions here to say that the reputation of this city has been established by the CO., operative effort of her citizens as well as the report of the census.
 I travel a territory between Mary land and Mexico. and I have found that the wonderful growth of Birmingham is familiarly discussed throughout the length and breadth of this area. I have s<en many exchanges in papers in Mexico relative to the subject.
 "The people of Birmingham seem to have come to the realization of just what constitutes progressive city, if I may judge from all that has been
 said of varied industries, civic inn provement and municipal government. understand that the sentiment of the citizens is unanimously in favor of government by commission, and l | nave nO uOuDI lulS fWOuiu Dc d CildHS for the better. I cannot recall one city where this form of administration
 has not proved a success.
 q understand that the necessity for a new up-to-date hotel has been gen. erally emphasized by the voice of the public and this has brought to my notice another thing which should not be lacking in city of this size. Bir- mingham needs a good up-to-date cafe a place where the man with moderate means can get a wholesome meal with out having to pay the fancy price to eat with society and without being el-
 bowed out of his seat in the scramble over the lunch counter. An eating
 house after the pattern of Faubacher's
 in New Orleans would be a welcome re.
 lief to the transient guests of Bir. mingham, as well as to- the many bus. mess people who are forced to talk, their lunch in town.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
Selden Patent Declared Invalid

George B. Sheldon applied gasoline to a Brayton automobile engine, and he had reaped a golden harvest from his idea when the United States circuit court of appeals decided that he picked the wrong Otto engine his patent would still be good but he did not do this. The Otto engine is not an infringement of the Selden patent patent because it is of different type. It is the engine that the best automobile makers are using. It is the superior engine.
 The selden patent has been adopted by about 80 per cent of the auto car mak- CTS. It has but short time to run, but MT. Selden does not mind that for his pockets are already overfull. Up to the present time nearly every owner of an automobile has been taxed to enrich him. The tax is paid by the manufacturer and is added to the cost of the machine.
 The case decided in the circuit court of appeals in New York will be carried to the United States supreme court, and perhaps final decision will not have been obtained when the Seden patent which sought to cover all gasoline auto- mobiles in America has actually expired. The age of a patent is but r years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
CATALOGUED

From Short Stories.
 Two women on a train. seated together, held each a covered basket. From one a faint shuffling noise proceeded; while from the other came, now and then, an indignant purr.
 The conductor came by.
 Dogs ain't allowed on this train," said he.
 This is cat!" protested the owner of the purring basket.
 Makes no difference-dogs ain't al lowed" repeated this stolld logician.
 Must get off. tooY' inquired the other woman. T have turtle in this besket.
 NO, ma am, turtles is sinsec's. but cats is dogs" he told her.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
Brisk Trade Predicted

q have seldom known a time as early in January as this when there was a more hopeful feeling in business circles than l find today said David L. Weismann of St. Lopis. And the remarkable thing about 1t and what I regard as particular ly encouraging is that the improved con- ditions have taken place within the past two or three weeks. In Decem- Der business men seemed somewhat ap- prehensive about the situation in 1911, but very quickly the outlook has bright ened and everybody met is talking good times in sight
 we are not going to have any boom. We do not want anything of the sort. But business conditions are sound and tine country is in fine shape. We will, therefore. have @ brisk spring and sum- mer trade"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
MoNGoOsE NABs RArrLER
m, the New York Timas.

From the New York Times. Curator Ditmars, of the Bronx zoologi- cal park, was watching the inmates of the reptile house the other day, when from behind the unweldly shell of the giant Galapagos turtle he saw a poi sonous snake of the moccasin species glide into the turtle inclosure. MT. Dit mars closed the door quickly and went in search of Head Keeper Charles Sny- der.
 An investigation showed that the snake had escaped in the night from a glass fronted cage in the snake collection. In spite of the cold weather outside, the moccasin was full of life when Curator Ditmars and Keeper Snyder attempted to capture 1t. It hid beneath the turtle, and neither the curator nor the keeper cared to roll the turtle over to dislodge 1t. The snake could not get into the exhibition part of the reptile house, for all the doors were closed and locked, but there was danger for the keepers so long as it was at large.
 "It would be good time to try the skill of the Indian mongoose," said the curator.
 Keeper Snyder left the room and re- turned moment later with a cage con taining one of the weazel-like animals. The mongoose must have caught the scent of the snake even before it's cage was put on the ground for it became al- most frantic in its efforts to get out. When the cage door swung open the mon- goose darted out like flash and circled the giant turtle at top speed, causing a shower of sand to fly as it's feet dug inclosure
 The moccasin seemed to realize it's dan ger, for the curator and the keeper sud- denly saw the snake appear from be- heath the turtle shell, and as the mon- goose neared it the moccasn struck The mongoose was too quick, however, and sprang away unharmed. As the snake fell, after the lunge. the mongoose sprang upon it.
 Like Ia bullet shot from a gun the 1.-the animal projected itself through the air, straight at the moccasin's head. So quickly that the curator and the keeper could not see all that was taking place, the sharp teeth of the mongoose closed upon the moccasins neck at the base Of the jaws. There was a crunch, and an instant later the moccasin lay dead.
 Only once did the mongoose bite, and only one bite was needed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
THE REIGN OF TERROR

From Carlyle's French Revolution"
 We are now, therefore, got to that black precipitous abyss. whither all things have been tending; where, hay ing now arrived on the giddy verge, they hurl down, in confused ruin; head long, pell mell, down, down; till Sans, culottism have consummated itself; and in this wondrous French revolution, as in a Doomsday, a world have been rap Idly, if not born again, yet destroyed and engulfed. Terror has long been terrible; but to the actors themselves it has now become manifest that their they say, "Be it so.''
 So many centuries have been adding together, century transmitting it with increase to century, the sun of wicked ness, of falsehood, oppression of man by man. Kings were sinners, and priests were, and people. Open scoundrels rode triumphant be-diademed, be-corneted, be-mitered; or the still fataller species of secret scoundrels, in their fair-sound- ing formulas, speciosities. respecta- bilities. hollow within; the race of QudckS HdS SrOWH IlaIy as IHe SanuS or the sea. Till at length such sum of quackery had accumulated itself as, in brief the earth and the heavens were weary of. Slow seemed the day of set tlement; coming on, all imperceptible, across the bluster and fanfaronade of courtierisms, conquering heroisms, most Christian grand monarqueisms, well-be- loved Pompadourisms; yet behold it was always coming; behold it has come, un- looked for by any man. The harvest of long centuries was ripening and whiten- ing so rapidly of late; and now it has grown white, and is reaped rapidly, as it were in one day-reaped in this Reign of Terror; and carried home to hades and the pitt
 Unhappy sons of Adam. It is ever so; and never do they know it; nor will they know 1t. With cheerfully smoothed counternances, day after day. and genera tion after generation, they, calling cheer fully to one another Well speed yer' are at work sowing the wind. And yet as God lives they shall reap the whirlwind no other thing, we say, is possible since God is truth, and his world is a ttt,t1,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press
 Money that shrinks and shrinks when you own it swels and swells when you owe it.
 What man insists upon doing on a holiday for fun would be an outrage if he got paid for it.
 If man has 8 pint flask of whisky in a bedroom closet his wife can talk about their wine cellar
 The way woman knows whether it's cold enough for her to wear her furs is for her to have them.
 We all want other people to do useful things: what we ourselves do is satisfac- tory enough, useful or not
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
Fine oil Indications

"Ne have very encouraging signs of both oil and gas in the well we are sink ing at Rankston. in Fayette county" said J. B. Cobbs. president of the Alabama Central Oil and Gas company, yester- day.
 "The well is down now 22p0 feet and the indications for oil are increasing with every foot that has been driven. We have had considerable gas in the well for some days.
 "'Those at work at the well feel con- fident that the well will produce oil in a few days"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
A CLEAR CASE.

A CLEAR CASE. =
 A wealthy citizen of Muncie, Ind, Is suing his wife for divorce on the ground that she won't darn his socks for him and he suffers greatly by having to wear socks in which the holes are rapidly in- creasing. When a man who is rich enough to afford new socks insists on wearing darned socks, 1t is an easy mat ter to 'set a line'' on his character He's so darned stingy his wife can't live with him and we hope she'll get ample alimony. PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
THE YOUNG MOTHER

Anonymous. From what strange journey am I safe
 returned So wearied, yet content; These eyes still darkened with the mists
 jof death. ~ All strength and courage spent: Yet with such strange sweet stirrings in
 my breast,
 such rapture heaven-sent. ff Shrinking, I left broad day and took the
 road That led me close to death; wings,
 Defying his chill breath, As I snatched up my joy and homeward
 drew,
 Knowing love conquereth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
THE LORIMER WHITEWAsHERs From the Pittsburg Post,

The contention by the whitewashers that Lorimer was elected without count ing the seven votes in question may sat isfy them pecause they are easily satis- fled. Theif further contention that the evidence does not show Lorimer gave the money fof the votes leaves the inference that the legislators bribed themselves to vote for Lorimer. The whitewashers may believe their quibbling because they want tg. The country is not so easily guiied.I
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
ANOTHER MATTER.

"Pipps telephones that he can't come to our poker party because he is storm bound"
 Why, the weather outdoors is very pleasant tonight" 'I know it, but Pipps says his wife is storning so he can't get outdoors
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
WE'LL, HARDLY.

I've never seen chorus girl Whose age was ninety-nine, Mid twinkling toes and skirts awhirl, Adown the dancing line. I've often read in funny quip
 They get to be that old; Odsbodkins By the way they trip
 It never could be told
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
QUITE RIGHT

From the Shreveport Journal. The Birmingham Age-Herald says that Adams county, Ohio, outranks Rhode
 Island in it's worst days. Must be awfully rank, then.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

Uncle Joe declines to admit that he has received that g, 2,O0O, 900 legacy from India He is not in the market at any rate for more long black stogies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

Missouri is about to select a state song and the legislators are expected to become able to sing it to their constituents when they go home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

The Illinois state senate is driving out self-confessed bribers wholly regardless of the Senate sub-committe on privileges and elections.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

The direct primary and the recall, says Governor Foss, are the only safeguards Of representative government
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

Africa led all the rest of the world in gold production last year. The African output was s175,OOO,OoO, or nearly double that of the United States.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11
TOO MANY STAIRS.

"A newspaper writer says he doesn't know anybody who wants to be uplifted."
 ''I saw fat man bawling up an ele- vator shaft yesterday, who seemed very desirous of being uplifted."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

If Gaby Deslys does not keep away from England she may separate Manuel from his pension as well as his throne.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

The Ohio senatorship row was so soon done for it must wonder what it was begun for.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

Senator Lar ollette is camping on Lori of the Lorimer whitewash report.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

9 years ogo. It proposes an amendment
 to the constitution providing for the pop ular election of senators and leaving the regulation of the elections in the hands of the state
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

In Adams county, Ohio, vox populi has been put on specie basis. It is noth- ing there if not metallic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1911-01-11

The rush to the city is not so much no one ever goes back to the village.