The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-04-29
HE EXPECTED
A LETTER
And He Fretted Like a Spirited
Horse When He Found
IL Hadn't Come.

Foxworthy Shoonoverr' ed
the tranger At the general dsnv-
cry window.
There Is not" said the village post
master. with emphasis.
How in thunder do you know there
isn't unieAs YOU ;ookI II there's any
taing makes nae Ted-headee, ita the ar
rossHes OF you official whlppersnApperA
4 nave every reason ~ believe there's I.
.st'sr here Zoe James ~s'o&wortay shoon-
0Ner. I'm Just a. sure " - as though
1 saw It before ne 1 come in here po-
-tely and Ask y0d In the most gends-
manly way gOssib!s II there Ia suen q
.e''sr' No. says you. 'tnere sn'L' and
'"e tone u yOUr Voice MuuaaIes InAI 1
may 50 hang myself
4$yes mo spIneisSs citizens OF thn
N"AASe WI. sLAnd tVg SOUr GOgsons lnAo-
'enoe out J won't
- p~esltnastes isn't any bigger In ny
go 1HAI ~Ey other man. an tne rsere
80 taAt ySd draw - salary from the
S0ssTnfnsnt Doesn't give yau any right
e" insult . man whose tEissr saved la
lion army a. Anuetsm.
D 10 you just hand over that letter. or
ias nret thing you know you'n get a
-'.esFHm From my old ~schoolmate. Post
mAStef-0en@ra! Hitchcock. asking you &c
hhad In POUR resignation."
mere - no letter here for James
: 'N"orthy s~hoonoger" said the post
master. calmly. i have looked over
me ietesis q dozen times IA the last
hour. II Il win make you :eel better.
however. III 10 over them again"
A Suspicious Inquirer.
"fo1'd better 90 over them. W you
'Hiue your official scalp. And IL that
letter ISN'T there. the best t:iing you can
Do Ii 70 hunt Around the onics dntn you
Ind H. In . had man 20 fool nth.
For all ] know you may have the
letter la your h:p pocket 4 man VINO
VIII insult a stranger who steps Up TO
the delivery window and asks. In the
most courteous manner. for n letter for
James Foxworthy ShOonover. wouldn't
hesitate 20 open other peoples mail. IS
Peeially IL It looked as though there
might be valuable enclosures.
The impudencs OF a country post
master Is something intoIerable. You
swell up with false pride and imagine
yoL arc the nyWheel Of the government
when. As a matter OF fact. YOU are the
smallest cog In the whole blamed ma
cainery.
"If you fell on the earth right now
and took you one-horse postofhce with
you, the government would 90 along
and iever know IL
a postmaster should be the most
humble and obsequious OF men. for he Is
enjoying = soft snap at the expense Of
the taxpayers
When a taxpayer drops In and asks
II there's a letter for James Fox
worthy Shoonover the postmaster should
take on his hat ana max n bow. real
izing his own unworthiness. But In
stead Of that
There Is nothing here for anybody
named said the postmaster.
IN a monotonous voice
A Letter from Mr.. Taft.
4 suppose you think I'll AXE your
word for IL said the stranger. Il am
expecting a letter from my old friend
President Tart. II should have been
here two weeks ago ami I'm absolutely
sure II has arrived before now.
u have no doubt that when you saw
a letter from tho White House your
curiosity mastered you and you opened
and read g. and then hid II 10 destroy
the evidence OF your crime But wait
until you sec what Taft does about II.
He won't stan1 for any indiEnities
offered his Old friend. James Foxworthy
s~hoouover.
When he was n student a. Yale I
was the son OF one OF the janitora. and
We often played icapfrog together.
TAFT isn't the sort q man 10 ,orset a
nleri be- PLAYED leapfrlg with
60 wrote 20 him six weeks aro 70
mirdlrg him OF those lalcyon DAYS. and
asking him % appoint ire Ambassaeor 70
the Court Of ST. James His answer
should have been here two weeks ago.
allowing FOR al accidents and DELAYS,
and yet you Fay there is nothing here
for James FoEworfhy S-hoouover.
Well We shall see what We shall sect
IN report you % NV old chuu. POST
master General Hitchcock"