Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-11-19
Etiquette of CALLING.

Etiquette of Calling.
THE commencement of the winter sea-
son. and the consequent return of
many Of the residents to town, brings
calling very much to the front once more.
and the question at once presents itself
as to who should take the initiative and
be the first to call-should it be the ear
Hest or the latest arrival?
Practically speaking, this doubt is not
to be decided by the date of arrival, as
it entirely depends upon from whom a
call is due or from whom it is not due
The one who was the last to cal, al
though she may have been the earliest
arrival in town, should await the call
still unpaid before repeating her visit to
the lady In question. This point of Ell
quette, if strictly observed. occasionally
leads to some little IN. apprehension De-
tween sight acquaintance. more partic-
ularly If one or them happens to have
a rather defective memory with regard
to dates, and Is somewhat careless in ar
ranging her visiting list. On the other
hand, others are SO punctilious in this re-
spect that they know almost without con-
sulting their visiting book whether call
is due from them or to them. and act in
accordance with this knowledge
X
Calling in the city differs In a measure
from that followed in country society
that is to say, when friends and ac-
quaintances return to a country neigh
borhood, after a long or a short absence.
the neighbors call upon them as soon as
they are aware Of their advent, and they
themselves do not take the initiative and
announce their return by calling save in
the case Of very intimate friends, with
whom they do not stand on ceremony. In
this instance it Is not question of who
was the last to call and from whom
cal Is due; 1t Is the received rule to call
upon those who have returned, and there.
fore 1t is strictly followed.
The routine of card leaving. SO per-
picking to many people, is strictly allied
to calling, as the two cannot be sepa-
rated. The card is to announce that a
call has been made, and the card reminds
the recipient that the call has to be re-
turned. This Is thoroughly understood
but 1t would seem that the number of
cards to be left under various circum-
stances Is the occasion of SO much un-
certainty and doubt.
The hours for calling are somewhat
restricted and range from to q;
the more formal calls are usually made
during the first calling hour. from )
to 4, and the more friendly ones from
4 to 6.
Il 4
In regard to bridal calls, these must
be looked upon as first calls. although
the bride before her marriage was in
cluded in the calls paid to her mother;
but after marriage the call is made to
her husband and herself. although the
husband may be a comparative stranger
to the caller. The fact of having been
present at the wedding requires that a
call should be subsequently made upon
the young couple, and thus one is actual
ly made. and cards are only left in the
case OF the bride not being at home. In
the country the same routine is followed
with regard to bridal calls. and. although
they are actually first calls, yet il the
caller is acquainted with either the bride
or the bridegroom they are surrounded
with very little Formally.
A married lady, if not accompanied by
her husband. should leave two of his
cards on departure, one for the wife and
one for the husband. and should the
former not be at home the caller should
leave one of her cards with those of her
husband.
1t is generally understood that much
latitude is allowed to bachelors in the
matter Of calling; but this. again, refers
to those whose occupations render il next
to impossible to fulfill this social duty.
Married men can depend upon their wives
to do all the card leaving on their behalf
that is necessary, and widowers can
equally rely upon their daughters who
keep house for them TO do likewise.
bachelor also, when his sister is at the
head of his house. can depend upon her
for similar assistance: but when a young
bachelor lives alone in rooms he has no
such aid at command, and must either
leave cards himself upon the friends at
whose houses he has been entertained
or excuse himself for any remissness IN
this respect. If he is busy man. f.
cupied until late in the day, officially pr
otherwise. his card leaving is generally
got through on the afternoon of Sunday,
but even this day is seldom at his dis
posal for this purpose, owing many times
Therefore he generally endeavors to give
some returned civility to those at whose
houses he has been constantly entertain
ed, and invites them to dine with him a.
one or other OF the fashionapie resssi.
rants. He knows that a bachelor hos:
can invite a party of ladies with thsis
husbands without requiring the pres
ence of a hostess on the occasion, ara
he also knows that no card leaving aft-
erward will follow. He is too well ac-
quainted with the men of the party Tor
them to pay him after-dinner calls, and
he does not expect them to do so.
-
When a widow, who resides with her
son, pays a first call she leaves two OF
his cards for the married couple upon
whom she is calling after she has paid
her call Should the lady called upon
not be at home, she leaves one of her
cards with those of her son. At subae-
quent calls she leaves one of her sons
cards for the lady called upon, but not
at every time of calling, unless he is a
constant visitor at the house
After a bereavement one of the wife'R
and one of the husbands cards should be
left, and with sincere coincidence ands
sympathy" should be written at thu
top Of each card. Again, when inquiries
are made during illness one of the wife's'
and one of the husbands cards should be
left, and ITO inquire" should be written
at the top OF the cards