davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08
Back, Then, TO the Farm.

D 1CHARD CROKER during his visit
~ to New York last month discussed
with a reporter the high cost Of living.
The farmers are all right" said MIR.
Croker. 1T Is the people who insist on
living In the towns who find everything
too dear. In the towns. You see. the
expenses are as bothers6me as the chill
dren.
"A little boy in a tiny fiat looked up
from his drum one day and said:
Mother. Adam and Eve lived in
Paradise. What was 1t like there%
Like what 1t Is here his mother
answered. when you eight children are
all at school,"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

Hon. Secretary set silently waiting be-
hind his spectacles.
X
x
what movement will your Majesties
make this Session to pass this Magazine
Stamp Act?" require that sad stenogra-
ply. But that Republican and Demo-
cratic Senator lay backwards with SINH
lar expression peculiar to patriots who
are interested in the same corporations.
In significant corridor Of House Of
Reps 1 seen a small kidly Page playing
toss-nickel games with slight D. T.
messenger lad. This Page child was
very important politically, for he made
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

'"This will be such a Sinking session
Of Congress that I shall fear to return
home and face my constituents" report
that Page child gambling SC from that
telegram lad.
shall you vote Reactionary, as
usual?" require Hon. d. T. boy with
words full Of cigarettes.
"I always vote with my party" snug
gest Hon. Kid. But this time there
won't be no voting to be did,
X *
What shall happen to all them great
bills to regulate armies, navies, trusts
and other .evils?" require telegram lad.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

to all ages.>to both sexes, even to women
above 200 pounds"
Especially asthma" added the young
American wife. VINO is willing that her
husband should devote himself to the
French peasant. but not unwilling to have
1t known that he could win the gratitude
OF rich estimates like the well known
Paris banker, who was obliged to sleep
propped with six pillows, yet who at the
end OF fifteen days could sleep lying fat
and run up two flights of stairs almost
like boy
Emile Faguet. one OF the forty i'm
mortals. has been writing about the
Gagey table and predicts that it will one
day be a household object.
While the children develop their
frames as nature intended, father and
mother will get rid OF the Corporation"
that accompanies q hundred ills.
How can improved breathing reduce
a great abdomen" / asked.
when the back straightens the stom-
ach recedes." said Or. Gagey, land
good breathing makes the subjects burn
their grease by sur-oxygenation. They
cease to tire SO easily, being less intoxi-
Gated by carbonic acid and their own
poisons. Physical education could not do
1t for them. Until now every one has
confused hygiene and physical education"
"H0w?' / asked.
"A young man developed normally by
normal hygiene cannot have a big stom-'
ach; he will be in all things the type OF
the race. You can teach him to box or
wrestle or anything else, just as a youth
Of normal brain can pick up arithmetic
or painting
"Certainly,"I answered.
But" continued the Regeneration OF
French peasants. "the man who has
grown up badly with big abdomen and
little chest, what can physical education
do for him? Give him q small abdomen
and a large chest? AS well try to de-
velop the weak brain by painting or
arithmetic! The ill-made man has to be
made over" STERLING HELLO.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

be limitless material for agreeably rem
iniscent reflection and "reminiscences and
retrospection. And SO certainly am 60
ing to stick at the task. If task 1t really
could be called, Of keeping q diary.
To start out. then. / got up early this
morning, had breakfast with the folks.
read the papers and then started out to
pay a bunch Of informal calls. Called on
Maize Kerplush and am going to take
her to show pretty soon. Called on
Tottie Plumsy-jolly lass. that, II she
does say sharp things occasionally-and
she accused me OF sending her box OF
American beauty roses-which l didn't.
She wouldn't believe that ] hadn't sent
'em, though. and she can go as far as
she likes on that score. can't help 1t
IL Tottie doesn't believe ! didn't send her
$14 worth of roses. can 1? Then I had
dinner at the Kaystreets-turkey feed.
very kapoo-and came home and had a
nap Played little pinochle this even
ing-Sunday, Of course. but the sin is
taken of of card playing Sunday when
it's New Year too. isn't it? Went out
for a walk. met few Of the bunch
Jim Swiftclip and Tim Hotpace-and
then home. where I'm starting the diary
Off now. You're all right, diary. and I'm
going to stick along with YOU perma-
nentiy.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

Advertising Section is often full of dam
gerous undertaking and radical state
ments injurious to the government, and
whereas the average Short Story don't
amount to much nohow, and whereas
the average Magazine Poem is sweeter
and worse than the Sugar Trust, and
whereas articles like Murdeous Mexico
and Barbarous Boston are apt to get
with foreign republics, and whereas the
Payne-Aldrich Tariff is the best and
only Tariff we've got, and whereas the
Postofice Department needs the Money,
be it resolved that the Editors OF
Magazines containing over pounds Of
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08
UnattainabIe Heights.

<<C URGERY," said Simeon Ford at q
- dinner in New York, ACCOM-
plishes wonders nowadays. Hearts arc
sewed up. the appendix is removed. the
large intestine is done away with.
But
The noted humorist smiled.
but will the time ever come when
surgery will be able to remove the
cheek OF a young man or the jaw OF En-
Old woman3"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

HERE Is a simple
wooden table in
Paris that has be-
gun giving 10000
extra cOmbatants
to the French
army annually.
These are the
10000 young men
annually found I'M
fit for mI,llary
service. Out of
200 OOD called each
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

Asst S a I u r d a y
p. m. Hon. Sam
G u m p e rs, cele-
brated labor agi-
tation, come to
my detective Of
flee and say with
voice, "Togo," he
say, sis 1t re-
spectacle for folks
to draw payment
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

EXTRAORDINARY Table
L. Will Be Put in French
Schools to Add 10000 Com
batants to the Army-No
More Flat-Chested Children
-Fallacy of Breathing Elk
ercises and Swedish Move
ment-William G. McAdoo's
Brother : in : Law Lengthens
Short Muscles-The French
Idea.
pecial Correspondence of The Star.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

particularly the reproach against the
Swedish gymnastics which demand the
straight position, when that straight posi-
ton Is to be a point of arriving and not a
point of departure.
'.Why can he not hold himself straight p
exclaimed DIR. Gagey. Because, also,
habit has given a form of equilibrium to
the body in which certain muscles have
been heightened. and, especially. certain
muscles have become shortened. The
youth whom yous tell to hold himself
straight is tied and bandaged. crooked
by his muscles.
certain muscles before strengthening the
muscles which are opposed to them. Az
terward the doctor strengthens the OPP
posing muscles.
4
It is all done on the mysterious table.
I saw DR.. Gagey treating a gilded youth
Of Paris, personal friend of the family.
He went over the young mans chest,
back and shoulders with a tape measure.
marking down the figures like a tailor.
After twenty days. before my eyes. he
proved himself tailor OF flesh and bones.
because twenty days later the young
mans clothes tailor was obliged to make
him fresh patterns, increasing over the
chest what he took in at the back.
Inc patent Is lalu OH the ldDlo anu Ills
arms are manipulated like those of a
drowned man; but the patient Is pulled
and manipulated systematically day by
day. There is no Sinking. because most
of the work is performed by others on the
patients body. AS time passes, DR.. Gagey
takes new measurements. Such and such
muscles are frightening, such and such
muscles are lOOsening, such and such
muscles are strengthening. AS result.
all muscle-binding is undone In twenty
days.
In twenty days the following results
are obtained according to statistics from
the School for Children of the Troop at
Rambouillet:
a. The height Is Increased from one to
three centimeters.
b. The chest measurement Is Increased
from three to five centimeters.
C. The increase between the difference
of inspiration and expiration goes up to
six centimeters.
What happens actually to the young
men who are rejected by the Frenzy army
examiners?' asked.
* *
"They are rejected regularly for lack
of necessary chest measurement" said
the doctor. 1.-THE worst are rejected out
right; the rest are turned into the auxili-
airy service as non-combatants. hospital
infirmiers, secretaries and clerks. The
most promising are adjourned for ex-
animation a year later. but as none of the
$4,000 really improve. the army has been
getting no combatants from them. The
Swedish movements which have been ap-
piled to them give no results because they
are too muscle-bound to benefit by them"
DR.. Gagey showed me the photographs
of four men thus thrown into the non
combatant class for physical crooked
ness and lack Of chest measurement: yet
one month later all had the required
chest measurement.
AS a mere money-making proposition
this quixotic doctor has turned his back
on the richest class Of patients These
are the asthmatic milliOnaires Tor wnom
he invented the table In the first place.
Now that he has started reforming the
French army they knock at his door In
vain.
Yes" he said. 'the re-education OF
breathing Is SO general that It apphes
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

lows from the bad feeding Of the young
child; enlarged stomach and narroWneSs
Of the chest; the weakening of the chiid
of from two to seven years because ne
lacks Fairgrounds or because he IS still
badly fed; and from all this, weakening
of the skeleton determining exaggerated
curves of the spinal column.
..What useless cruelty to put such
youth on breathing exercises exclaimed
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

sets secretary was reading them the
Presidents Message in tone OF voice.
I'VE next come to Paragraph 112, Sec
ton B in this wonderful document" say
Hon, Secretary. 'This begins, There is
no need at present Of further legisla-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

analogous to that employed to resusciate
asphyxiated or drowned persons-by arti-
fetal respiration. The object OF this aru-
ficial respira ton is to make more air enter
and go out of the chest to serve the respira-
tory exchanges. enlarge the thoratic cage
and to lengthen, strengthen and shorten
certain muscles. In making these weak
ling breathe / give them the habit or
breathing better and thus to become more
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

active, because If to live is. to act to act
is to breathe"
A young man or girl cannot attain the
maximum activity without breathing well.
which is to have a mobile thorax. The
insufficient mobility Of the thorax which
prevents good breathing Is q result OF
causes that have acted to diminish the
function of the thorax These are Obstruc-
ton Of the nose; rachetism which fol-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

parks hidden behind street facades OF
great. severe stone houses.
Here I saw DR.. Gagey. He has practi-
cally given up private practice to devote
himself to the physique of the French
peasant, who has lost his ancient safe
guard while profiting nothing as yet
from modern civilization.
II want to improve the teeth and nose
and chest of the French peasant" said
the doctor. He always had bad teeth,
nose and chest, but in the old days ne
remained strong and we'll because ne
lived on vegetables, bread. milk, eggs
and cheese and wine Now he poisons
himself with meat"
rs meat a poison?' l asked.
Meat is q poison to these who chew
and breathe ill., answered the regene-
rator of the French army. "Of course l
am not a vegetarian. The president OF
the Vegetarian League recently praised
his system to me. You see how well l
am he said. DO you breathe well?
/ asked. That is just It, he answered.
I used to have sudden expressions and
difficulty in getting upstairs: but now
Obviously / interrupted, you are one
Of those bad breathers who cannot digest
meat.
4 i.
This Is not a breathing exercise story.
Breathing exercises are capable OF being
done only by those who do not need
them: and the French army has never
gained anything from the Swedish move
ment, long practiced in it. DIR. Gagey says
that his table will make young folk mt to
undertake both He showed me photo
graph of a youth who had been rejected
BY the army doctors, being weakly and
bent.
This youth had negotiations in the
nose" said DIR. Gagey. He had bad
teeth. which made mastication impossible
whence bad digestion and distended
stomach. He had fiat feet. on which he
sighted, a defect that had not been
noticed: and 1t caused him to bend
while reading. Observe his chest. Its
aspect is not pretty. He could not swell
the normal swelling is from eight to ten
centimeters. Now look at this other
photograph. taken three months later
1t was the same youth. but changed.
He had q look of manly confidence winch
DR.. Gagey analysed for me.
His family had sufficient money to send
him to dentist. He was provided with
eyeglasses and given five extra cent?
new science of juveniculture. which be-
gins where puericulture leaves on. and
extends to the twenty-first year. To
carry on our juveniculture We must cor
all. make it possible for the youth to
hold himself straight-which means to
breathe we'll"
William G. McAdoo's sister sat listen
ing with pride. Were her husband q
money maker. he would profit by the rush
OF fashionable young Parisians scared OF
their restaurant Corporations" and fat
asthmatic milaonaires pleading for breath
but he practically refuses all such while
the army organization Is not completed.
The famous table looks very simple: yet
1t seems that this table holds the secret.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

~ and make peek-in to that Congress.
If they are there for purpose of accom-
plishing honest labor. I am apologize
to them. But if they has no intention
now till Mich 4, shall refuse to pay
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

the DOCTOR s'He cannot do them. He is
muscle-bound. He can do nothing lot
himself until certain muscles of chest.
side and back have been heightened and
strengthened for him. Here is the in
feriority Of all systems proposed up to
now. They tell the subject to hold HIM
self straight in order to breathe well.
when in reality he must breathe well IN
order to hold himself straight. This is
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

To Editor Sunday Star, who usually
spend his idle moments in hard work,
Dear Sir
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

envelope while they waste their time by
loafing in lazy leisure?"
This is not considered honest, except
in the Plumbers Union report. put
ting on my shylock Holmes derby.
"Ah then" he collapse, what use
shall Hon. Sixty First Congress be from
jan Q, 1911, to Mch 4, same year,"
What use should any Congress be for
similar periods?" I nudge with Bernard
Shaw expression.
AS laboring men are employed to
chop meats. dig Panama, excavatc holes
with shovels. construct buildings with
beautiful brickbats, ETC., so are Con-
gressional Senators supposed to do
something for employment. Some are
hired to make insurgent movements,
others are paid to do stand-pat jobs.
But all must be doing something how
ever humble. If they can't find nothing
else to do, they might at least try to
save Hon. Republican Party. For these
jobs they receive salaries arranging
upWdIuS ~ St,cVV POI cAhaoA sSoA'
This from Hon. Sam.
l listen at this lecture.
What is the climax of your argu-
ment?'' I deprive calmly.
: <
Thus negotiate Hon. Bumpers dag
onally. Hon. Congressional Senator is
laborer like any other shoveler.
Therefore, if he do not surrender sum-
cient services for pay-envelope he should
be propelled from Union by kick-step."
1 stand CAST for this phenomenal.
Togo" commute Hon. Bumpers with
pale ears. "I have just been told a
truthful Islander. have been told that
Congress will assemble together on Jan.
for the purposes of Idle enjoyment.
They will accomplish all regular work
by not doing so. They will be called
the Dont-Do-It Congress. This is very
sad crime
Are not similar strikes permitted in
all Unions?" / require.
..Iron-workers and teamers do not get
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

'srhe individual who breathes badly.
has a cause why he breathes badly" said
DIR. Gagey, ''but because he breathes
badly. he becomes continually more and
more inferior. 1t is a vicious circle;
and the only way to get out Of it is to
apply to these bad breathers q method
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08
The Mystery Of the
Don't -Do-It Congress

$500 yearly pay for walkouts," he dib.
"This Congress must be investigated
with immediate quickness."
II shall detect their slightest move
ment," I snagger pulling on my fearless
mittens.
.Togo," say Hon. Bumpers, ego swift
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

year, an average $1,000 have lacked chest
measurement, physical development and
stamina.
These youths need making over: and
the Gagey table makes them over. Those
who have read the sitting OF the French
chamber of February II, 1910. In the
'Journel oficiel." will have faint idea
OF the nightmare of army degeneracy
from which the nation was awakened by
its results reported from the l03d. lo4th,
Ifath and 45th regiments Of infantry. the
military hospital at Val-de-Grace and the
school for children of the troop at Ram
bouillet.
When the simple wooden table Is put
into every French school the time OF
the narrcw-chested child is over. Teach
and exercises that in twenty days
lengthen and strengthen muscles.
straighten spinal columns. force air into
lungs. expand chests and do away Win
abdominal breathing. No need Tor
science on the part of trainers: this ex-
traordinary table renders making over
mere routine. No need of ambition on
the part of pupils: fifteen minutes daily
development cannot be shirked-on the
Gagey table.
Its inventor Is the French brother-in-
law of William G. McAdoo of Hudson
tunnel fame--a curious coincidence unites
two public benefactors; because DIR.
Gagey must be obviously benefactor
for the French army clique to accept the
apparatus of q civilian physician. The
coincidence" who was formerly Miss
McAdoo is now a beautiful and accom-
plished Paris bride. agog with interests,
from Sorbonne lectures to bestowing
broad chests on American school chill
dren.
They live in a luxurious ground-hoor
apartment of the Rue de la Beetle. with
a private park of century-old trees out
side their windows. This is a charm OF
central Paris unsupported by outsiders
The great quantity Of blooming shade
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

poll-tax for support of such feetless
vagrancy."
s.
* *
Thusly speaking, Hon. Bumpers, evap-
crate away.
Dishguised to look like Chinese Suf-
fragettes, me & Nogi went to Wash, D.
c. and was deliciously enabled to make
walk-in to all Offices in Capitol Bldg
without being notified.
In one square mahogany room OF
Standard Oil appearance we seen Re-
in each others arms. A tall AIassachu-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08
1MB3e> f1AIHIlURA 1oGo=DETECTTYE 5 RN<3
NIX ~~~kyr MAzAACE MzypMN ~-e %A1$%

ton for the regulation and restraint OF
corporations.
"The resolution is passed." say Rep
and Dem Senators smiling sweetishly
in their sleep.
. Hon. Secretary read EDWARDS.
1--WE nextly came to Paragraph ia,
Section k,'' snuggest Hon. Sec. This
begins by saying. The Tariff Board is
not yet ready to report etc. How
will your Excellencies act on this
measured"
1T is perfect already" say them Sem
ators together like collaborators.
1--WE nextly come to Article Gil, Claus
X" read on Hon. Sec. ''This important
paragraph say, The Tariff will need re-
vision some time in the future, but in
decent haste must be avoided In this
solum duty How shall you stand In
this great movement
X X
Them 2 Senators -snore tremendously
up and down. schedule by schedule. Hon.
Sec make stenography note Of this great
legal opinion.
Here is Paragraph sss. Section j.
commune Hon. Sec. cit is entitled
Economy It say, Tt are recommended
to Congress to neglect all bills which
will cost anything What course shall
your Majesties take on this measure?'
Both Senators turn restlessly in their
sleep.
'"Turning to Claus 411,o44," say Hon.
Sec, 1--WE arrive to a paragraph which
suggest slight expense Of cash. This
say, We recommend fertilization OF
Panama canal at probable cost 5of
$4,000, O00-'"
Both Senators awake upward with
shocked expression as IL Hon. Roosevelt
had been mentioned.
did we misunderstood you say some
thing about s1s,ooo.ooo?" they holia
with equivalent voice.
"This Presidential Message say THAT
s19.0oO,OO0 must be expended immedi--
ately to make Hon. Panama Canal un-
safe for foreign powers" repose Hon.
Secretary agreeably.
I'VE cannot betray our Trusts by such
extravaganza" they gollup and flop back
into maps.
s'There are some slight paragraphs
about opening postal savings banks,
starting an American steamboat line
between U. S. and South America and
giving some thanks-medals to Hon. Rob
Z. Peary-
medals to Peary-what for" require
one Senator in the midst Of nightmare.
mot sure-this document do not say
maybe it is because he added the
North Pole to the geography" snuggest
Hon. Sec.
Are that Peary man still gossiping
about the North Pole?" corrode other
Senator with Dreamland voice.
1.-THE last and most important Para
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

January 2-Let's see. what did / do
today? oh. yes. Had a bum breakfast
coffee was punk, and ! guess was q
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

Special Correspondence of The Star.
PARIS, December 2S. 1910.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1911-01-08

is Magazines. Advertising of
Sec rsn messages hnt sm ny Hon
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1911-06-13
NEWSBOYS' MEET WILL
BE BIG AFFAIR.

One of the largest athletic and base
ball meets ever held in this city will
take place Saturday at Wiedenmayer's
Park. The fastest men in the State
have already entered the half-mile,
-one-mile, two and. three-mile races.
-Four large and beautiful silver cups
will be presented to the winner of each
event.. The cups will be on exhibition
at Holt & Co.'S jewelry store. Broad
and Academy streets. tomorrow after
noon. All entry blanks fer these races
can now be procured at Schulte's cigar
store. Broad and Market streets. .Ath-
letes are notified to meet stages ut
Clayton & Hoff's livery for the parade.
THE first baseball game will start at
8 o'clock. The Havana Giants will play
the winner of the first game. Champion
K. o. Brown will umpire the second
game. Instead of coming over the
Pennsylvania railroad he and his man
ager, Dan Morgan, will come over the
Jersey Central and leave New York at
1890. There will also be a handsome
prize given to n player of the three
times throwing the ball the furthest
distance from the home plate.
The parade will start at / o'clock
sharp. The line of march will be men,
toned later.