Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1911-03-07
TRUE IRISH BULLS.
They Have a Flavor All Their Own,
1.-THE Effect of Climate"

1.-THE Effect OF Climate"
Sir Richard Steele explained why his
countrymen made bulls: 'Tis the eff
feet Of the climate, sir. If an English
man were born In Ireland he would
make as many" said he. 1t is not ev-
cry one who knows a bull when he
sees her. II may be no bull, but
merely a blunder "a betise, as the
French have it. To make sure that
we have the true criterion let US first
set down a few of the genuine, ortho-
dox Irish kind:
he built the wall wider than it was
high, so that when it fell down It
should be higher than it was wide.
Two weary and footsore Irishmen
come to a milestone, ten miles to Dub
lin. "ArraL," says one. Its but five
miles apiece
DisuUtiug % the date of st. Patrick's
birthday. "Eo couldn't have had two
unless l.. was twins"
An Irish sailor reported that In Phil
adelphia they copper bottomed the tops
of the houses with sheet lead.
Give me the loan Of a Ratchet to saw
an empty barrel Of -four in two to
make the dog a pigpen.
His estate is divided by impenetra-
BILE furze bitches made of Quarried
stones set on edge.
An Irishman. describing a glorious
dcht. said, There was only one whole
nose in the house, and that was the
taypots."
in these and in hundreds Ike them
we have the true favor Of the Irish
buu.
There are genuine bulls IN French,
but they are rare. The genius OF the
language does not lend itself to any
thing less than neat precision. A
French bull is usually nothing more
than q betiSe. Still, French bulls exist.
Leon. Bishop and Count Of Lisieux
wrote 10 the Duchess Of Brissac as fol
lows:
Madame. knowing how fond you
are OF red partridges, send you here
with half a dozen Three Of them are
gray. and one is Il woOdcock. You will
find this letter in the bottom of the
basket"
4 Frenchman used a large stone jar
for pillow. explaining that it was not
hard because he had stuffed it full OF
hay.
The very best French balls are acted. !
not spoken. The Duke de St Simon
relates that lady, lying i'll, was much /
disturbed by the ringing of the church /,
bells. To deaden the noise her lover /
haS the street IN front Of her house /.
saIt with "traw-
4 spoken JulI IN French is apt 90 be /
different from the irish va /
riety, something more like a betise, as
has been said. AID II Is difficult to
retain the favor IN translation. "Ce
sont toujours les memes sCldats Qui Sc /
font tuer." says Marshal Bugeaud of .
bis army. This loses Il little when one
translates. 1t is always the same sol /
1iers who get themselves killed"
En- fair dinutiites il ne faut que lie
necessaire" Is more highly colored in
the French than in its translation,
only so many useless things are re
luired as are strictly necessary"
Here IS the translation of part OF an
italian letter:
I'VE have had a most famous earth
quake. II by the mercy Of God it had
asted for another half hour we should
Ill have gone to paradise. from which
may God deliver US. Whether you re-
,eive this letter or not, please advise
ne In either case"
Here Is a Portuguese bull. In offer
ne a reward for the recovery Of the
,orpse Of a drowned man his relatives
that the deceased might be
Identified. if found. by a slight impedi
nent in his speech.
After much research It has been so
ar impossible to discover a genuine
spanish bull. but here is a Dutch bull:
The pig had no marks on his ears
Except a short tail"
And here is q German bull:
Der Zahu der Zeit. der allie Thranen
roCknet. wird auch uber desc Sache 3
1ras wachsen lasSen" C'The tooth OF !
ime. that wipes away all tears, VIII /
,ermit grass TO grow over this mat I
er alsO'D. Il
Blunders IN English speech are not (
Uncommon. The orthodox bull of Ire
and has scarcely crossed the channel
4 fellow OF the Royal society speaks
4 the earthquake that had had the
onoT 10 be noticed by the Royal so 4
iety" m
The West Indies will now have q
uture which they have never had in Il
he past" sounds promising until one Il
ees that its bullish quality is a mere
lunder by which the word -'opportuni- d
- was omitted There is none of the 1
avor Of the famous definition of salt
y the Irish schoolboy. salt is that H
7hich makes your potatoes taste nasty Il
you don't put # in"
Even the best of the foreign bulls in
attn tongues evoke the suspicion that
hey are mere TRANSACTIONS from Irish
riginalS- TAe Dutch. the Germans
nd perhaps the English may have the
enUine article at times No distinc-