The Washington bee., 1911-03-18
Public Men AndThiDps
(By the Sage of the Potomac.)

A short time ago I met Prof. Kelly
Miller on the Rue del Morgue-that's
You street-and in one second bv the
watch, after we met, we were discuss
ing the race question. You know
Prof Miller is the author of Race
Adjustment" the highest priced book
on the maTket-pTiCe 81, bound in
imitation leather, and being the au-
thor, it's up to him to talk race mat
tiers continually, as an advertisement
Prof Miller is one of the few close
corporations that have been able to
get by the Interstate Commerce Com
mission and increase rates. Now for
example: He first put out his Race
Adjustment" articles in pamphlet
form, and blandly invited the public
to taste of his jar of wisdom at Is
cents a taste. This worked so well
that he said to himself: well, old
Barnum cOgitated to himself that the
public likes to be humbugged. Now
I'll lust see if the old c. c. (circus
CuSs) knew what he was whistling
about" So the Professor collected
all the odds and ends of his moss
covered manuscripts on this race bust
ness-'Leopard's Spots" and all-had
them bound IN book form, and dump
ed the edition upon an unsuspecting
public at So per volume Did the
public stand it? Well l guess yes, for
the Professor is still selling them at
the same old price, with no discount
for age OF course, that Race Ad-
justment" is a mighty interesting col
lection of sweat drops from the Pro-
lessons prodigis brain. 1t reads we'll,
is logical, and hits the high places.
Strange, there is not a straddle in any
One Of the articles All of them are
straight from the shoulder-no COM
promise. And this is rather strange,
because if there Is one man in all this
broad land who can straddle a razor
back hog with comfort, it's Prof.
Miller He runs down the main line
.or a short distance at full speed, but
f he meets another train coming in
he opposite direction he'll put on the
-everse and back up on the siding
perfectly contented. Prof. Miller
doesn't believe in head-on collisions.
He thinks a straddle is better than
paddle any old day.
But Prof Miller is a great educator
-One of the bTainiest cOlOred men in
his country. Howard University is
,etter known because of his cOnnec- /
ion with it than the connection of
my other one man. He's an amiable !
nan, and all amiable men are strad- /,
Hers to a certain extent This is be- !
;ause they have such a high regard
or the feelings of the other man. ,
Prof. Miller believes it is far better to /
provoke smiles rather than tears; ,
rather than roasts. He's
IS mild hammered man as ever SCut-
Lngry. l have seen him try his best
o get angry, but he couldn't make
he turn. | have seen him 90 to
Iray's coinage factory and load up
IN soda water, hoping that it would
team up anger, but it wouldn't By
he way, | want to advise the Pro-
esSOr that if he doesn't cut out some
IF his soda water he will soon have
stomach ready for the hospital OF
,Ourse, you can't induce him to go
Lnything stronger. At a banquet he
will toy with glass of care-robbing
iuid, make eyes at it, and then pass
I along with a sort of facial express |
ion that suggests he is soliloquizing
you certainly look good, but what
would Thirkield say?" Some day Prof.
Miller will be president of Howard,
md when that day comes genius and
bility will be recognized, This doing
deanery stunt at $I,7oo per ain't |
reating a fellow of his ability on the |
evel. Do you know this Carolinian
is a Hope diamond? !
hat IS, he's the rarest gem in cap
ivity. Most every one outside of |
thinks he's the head-push |
,ut at Howard When thew speak of /
Prof. Miller they mean Howard Uni
-ersity, and when they speak of How
rd University they think they are
alking about Race Adjustment Mil
er. The two are hooked up, insepa- |
ately, together There's only one |
Prof. Miller, and we've got him here /
x
l dropped in at 6oo F street the
,ther day You know if you want |
rumors, and rumors with |
,ut beginning or end, and want them /
resh or warmed over, just make a !
ocial call at 6o9 F. Well, they fell /
o discussing the Elks down there.
md they discussed and cussed both
actions One man said Ben Gaskins /
vas the legal brains of the order here, |
md another Immediately reached in |
lis pocket and pulled out a little tin |
lorn through which he blew the gIo-
les of Melendez King. They took
ldes, you can rely on my word for
t. you saw in a certain newspaper,
lidn't you, where Melendez King |
vent to Richmond and cleaned up on |
hem" said one fellow. "Well, Gas
iins furnished the gun and powder, !
md King simply pulled the trigger"
etOrted another. And then they bad |
I, and for a few moments there was
'winging of arms and hands and the |
pitching of voices in high c. I finally |
not factionist, and left /
hem wrangling and jangling over
who is who-King or GaskIns.
But as I sauntered away, I thought /
% myself-why don't we Elks settle |
1ur differences in the lodge rooms,
instead of punching holes in each |
1ther in bar rooms and on street cor
lers? l am an Elk, but / promise !
you that l am getting awfully weary |
over this pickering. There's nothing !
n it for us small fry who attend /
meetings and pay dues. The big