davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-04-06

Yesterday afternoon while Ef~nara
IHfiH was riding n horse along bethany
EIffs The horse threw Burns 10 the
Eruuud. making or uElV wound ON the
cad ll4 was taken 90 the office 81 IT,.
vs.. a crnrraft. Dr.. at EdrInFt0n Lana.
whore tHr wound was dressed
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-04-06

united IN marriage by Rev. Westfau
The marriage WAS n complete surprise
The young people left Tor Pittsbure on
a honeymoon.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-04-06

The Wheeling Tennis club Be- havfna
itH building nt the Woodadala courts
moved o. the Clubs new courts fn fdr-
gNlr Tie house. which contains the
lockers. nets and other property or the
.luH Del hoiug torn down and will BE- re-
bulls on the new grounds
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-04-06
DuffY's Pure Malt WhIskeY

g. m absolutely pure. gentle and in
MIGRATING sfIm1.ant and tonic. Tf
overcome al weakening. wasting and
run down conditions Of the body.
brain and muscle. giving fhe sy.fe|,
power 90 throw ~ aud resist coughs.
colds. asthma, grip. cafarrh. bronrhi-
Co. and lung trouble. % o. a wonder
tul remedy fn the prevention and
cure oi consumption. pneumonia. ma
laria and low fevcrs. if taken "a. d.
rertef Prescribed ~ physician. ana
recognized as a family medicine ev.ry-
where
hI druggists. grocere and f,4fer-.
or direct. 500 o. large bottle De- .Br~
y0u get thc genuine. sui .Ufrfr. and
limitations are injurious. Medical
booklet. containing rare common
senr~ rules Tor hraifh. and fe.umo-
malls al.Y doctor. advice. sent free
o. any one who writes
ThoDuny Nsi''shisss Co. poohsstos.s.v.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-04-06

An entertainment viii he held in the
EdrlnFf0u Lane public school 90. NOR
row nifht for tho benefit 81 the athletic
association
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-04-06

The Ideal club will hold a dance
Thursday evening in the Armory hall
o. Bollaire
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-04-06
Musical.

suit. The happy couple left for Lor
-aine, where they will reside.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-04-06
SUES MEDITERRANEAN
Marietta Man Asks Damages A. Re
suit o. Hls Being Accused
81 Theff

epestli nf-ratch 20 TIE inteiirrncas
MARIETTA. O.. April 5.-Damagea
Tor i've thousand dollars against hia
motherin-laW. a. asked IN a suit hied
this Afternoon BY Knowles Martin
against Martha Pate. Of Newport. foE
q malicious statement he having been
charged with stealing eight hundref
dollars from under her bed.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1911-04-06
EDGWOOD
Annual Congregational Meeting Of Vance
Memorial Church Haid
Last Tvoufnn

Ihe annual CONGREGATIONAL meeting Of
tho Vance Memorial church was held in
lne church rooms last night when bust
rer 81 routine nature was carried out.
Tho annual financial reports were read
aId showed everything 90 be IN flourish
iHF condition. no officers we're elected
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
ACCORDING TO SAMMY

My umbreller, I bleeve. sed the uthir
man. folloing US to the doar.
I bleeve not, sir. sed Pop. this Is my
umbreller, sir and I don't no wat you
are tawking about.
The uthlr man looked close at the
silvir handel Of Pops umbreller and
sed. Is that so, well, would you mind
telling me ware you got It.
Sertenly Ill not tell you ware got II.
sed Pa. wy shood I tell you ware got
II. I think you are taking ungarantesd
libirties, sir.
Are you going to tell me ware you
got It. sed the man, getting awI wet
standing out IN the rane tawking about
II.
Tit for Tat
sippose you tell me ware you got IT.
sed Pa.
The uthir man thawt a mint and
then laffed, wich maid him shake awl
ovir, beeing fat.
never thawt of that, he sed to Pop,
and 1 CESS pizzeshun Is 9 tens OF the
law. Like wise. sir, I hope thare il
honor among umbrellar thieves.
Wat did he mean, Pop, said. going
hoam.
He ment, Pop sed. that awI men was
creayted eqwal. depending on wich one
gets thare furst.
The Washington times., 1911-06-17

Here KID bawled the stage door
keeper to the callboy, who was loafing
on his job. take this dollar bill and
beat il down TO the drug store on the
corner and buy me four cigars. -Four
cigars for a dollar, mind you-real
smokes-none of the imported Pittsburg
panatelas for mine" and the S. D. K
proceeded to store away a roll that
would have given a COW tonsil trouble
Why This Thusness?
why this thusness?" asked the
staEestruck youth. -Four cigars for a
dollar-that's goin' some. Always
thought that you were Of the opinion
that a pipe was good enough for any
body"
1T used to was. kid, 1t used to was,
but not today. I'm going to have just
as much satisfaction in seeing you
smoke one OF those cigars as I'm goin'
10 have myself, and that'll be plenty.
There must be a reason" said the s.
S. y.
There's always a reason" said the
S. D. X. and this one is bird. I m
buying these fancy torches in honor OF
a great event. Dextro, the great, the
most marvellous card manipulation, is In
our midst again. He opened here last
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
THE DOORKEEPER

night and mystified the thousands. He
exposed all the old gamblers tricks and
picked cards out of what the descrip-
tive writer's call the cIrcumambient at
mosphere. whatever that may mean. ]
always like to see DeXtro come to town.
| cause he always draws a crowd, and
he's a good sport. Say, the things that
guy can do with cards and a bunch of
poker chips fairly make yoUr eyes bulge
out. I've always been strong for card
tricks since I was a lad. and ! must
say that this fellow has It on all the
rest of the bunch"
Made Little Touch
"I saw him." said the stage-struck
youth, "a few minutes ago. He was
putting up a fine line OF strong talk
with the manager for an advance on
next weeks pay. Seems funny that a
guy with his talent, and pulling the
money that he does. should be running
short at this time Of the week Why,
he only got paid yesterday"
Yes" said the S. D. K, he got paid
yesterday. and last night Dextro and I
sat in a little game Of draw after the
performance. That's some of the great
card experts money that I just spent
for the cigars"
The Washington times., 1911-06-17

know they can phone right here to the
grocery and have their messages deliv-
cred like orders. And we can't refuse,
because men may come and men may
go, but a customer is a customer.
Mr.. Highly telephoned this morning
and dictated this message to be shipped
around to his wife: Put on your glad
dest tonight, hon. I'm going to bring
a couple of the boys around. Dick"
A minute afterwards comes a mes
sage for Miss Solitaire, the only old
maid in the block. Oh, how she hates
men! I hear she's insisting on having
a lady iceman sent around instead Of
the brutal person on the job at present.
Well, you've guessed It by this time.
got the messages mixed and sent Miss
Solitaire the glad rag note from Dick"
And did she sprint around and spit fre
at the boss? She did. Meow! Meow!
FIT! Sure I apologized; but nevah no
MOI
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
Caesarean Ability

Your interest in all the conversations
you are not supposed to hear is an
impertinence. Your effort to absorb
the attentions of the man is a selfish
deception. You have so much conf
dence in your Caesarean ability to do
seven things at once that you think
you can keep him from noticing that
you are gathering general information
while he talks.
But 1t Is a mistaken delusion. In
deed, 1 have an inward persuasion
that it's about as much of a success
as Caesars own multiplied effort. His
biographers tell the flattering story Of
him. But he is read and naturally
well spoken of. No such hallowing
circumstances dignity your perform
ance. The man sees his conversational
efforts falling on stony ground He
realizes that his choice pearls Of
speech are being tossed to a social
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
Reddy Smith on
The Pair of Shoes

1t wus rainin' de udder mornin' wher
I started fur de square, Jimmie, an de
win was as col as It Is in November.
Dere wus uh little girl in front Wv
me carryin' uh big umbrella Onces,
in uh while cud see hur little face
pink-cheeked an roun'. an hur little
brown eyes jes danced, while uh stray
stran' Wv blak hair waven frum under
hur big hat
Hur clothes wus de bes' w culd buy,
an dey At hur tn uh ct"
As I'm nearin' de furst street afore
you gifts to de square uhnudder little
girl, blond hair an blue eyes, Gums
'roun' de corner Hur umbrella wus
ragged, hur dress wus jes plain stun
an she wus In hur bare feet.
"oh," sez de brown-eyed gurl, 'tyoore
in yoor bare feet! Why don't 700 wear
Shoes?
Il can't" sez de blue-eyed kid. 'Dere
in de shoomaker's gittin mended."
why don't yu wear uhnodder pair,
den?"
Cause amt got uhnodder pair"
Hoo amt got uhnudder pair" ssz
de brown-eyed one. Oats funny.
Why, got lots Nv pairs"
Il know" sez de udder kid, but I
amt, and what can you do when WI
amt go no more? Den, wild uh sorter
lauf, de blue-eyed kid run of tu git
hur shoes frum de shoemaker's.
had tu stan an listen tu dem, Jim
nlie. cause knows, an yoo knows what
1t means tn have but one pair; but de
udder-she couldn't understan' An, in
mos cases wild de grown people It's de-
same way.
The Washington times., 1911-06-17

NO eavesdropper. you! You need
~ no architectural accessories to
assist you in listening. You are
the girl who listens with one-third of
your attention to the person who
thinks he Is talking to you while you
exercise an observant scrutiny over
half a dozen other conversations.
You catch enough of the talk across
the table to know that the two ladies
there are criticising the table decora-
tions. You snatch enough of the
whispered conversation to your left
to gather that the young man is try
ing to make his peace with the pretty
girl You listen to the general dis
cussion that is supposed to be alb
sorbing the company; and you hear,
too, the asides and asserts of the man
on your right who has the duty of
entertaining you on his shoulders.
The Washington times., 1911-06-17

"when was it that your husband dis
appeared"
Three months ago." she replied. "Or
1t may have been four, or it may have
been five. I've had so many things on
my mind-you understand"
Exactly" replied the great detective.
You say 1t was Just after an attack
of heart trouble that you missed him p
Yes
After thinking rapidly but thoroughly,
the great detective took from an inside
pocket a file Of newspapers. He began
searching through them.
TT ts as thought" he said at length.
Here is the death notice telling Of
how your husband was buried four
months ago from this very house"
She bit her lip.
To be sure" she exclaimed. "I re-
member now. I've had so many things
on my mind, you understand"
Exactly" replied the great detective.
The Washington times., 1911-06-17

you to antagonize him by offending
his pride? Why provoke him by fall
ing to reward his efforts to do his
duty as your escort? What can 1t
profit you to listen surreptitiously
and learn how the quarrel between
the young man and the pretty girl
will end7 You have a possible ro-
nance of your own right at your
elbow. The hostess has put you two,
single girl and an unattached man.
together. And you are such an om-
nivorous absorber of the details of
other peoples affairs that you neglect
your own.
He Ferments Inside
II there are many girls possessed of
more aggravating ways than this pro-
miscuous1istening habit of yours have
been mercifully spared their acquaint-
ance. 1 watch the man, and I know
that he. too. fnds himself expert
encing an internal ebullition as you nod
your head now and then to him and
your eyes and your ears continue, in
their semidetachment. to hear the other
conversations and still keep a kind OF
working knowledge of his. The long
process OF the courses measures a pen
ance period for him. He ferments in
side and gradually grows grouchy out
side All the anticipation with which
he may have contemplated a seat next
to you Is killed in the inflammation OF
his impatience which your listening has
ignited.
Can you think of more completely
successful back-handed blow to mans
disposition to be agreeable? The COM
plex nature of the inattention you have
given him defles description. But the
definition of the one who administers
the perfectly unnecessary punishment
is easy. She Is a goose!
The Washington times., 1911-06-17

II raned Yesterday. so of corse
Pop coodent find his umbreller. Pops
umbreller is one of the funnyiest
things in the house, bekaus on the
days II don't rane evryboddy is all
ways fawlllng ovir 1t, and on the
days 1T does rane nobody can nevir
find It,
Pop is very prowd of his umbrel-
Ter, on akkount OF 1t having a silvir
handel. Pop dident always have it
He ust to have anuthir one with a
wood handel, and one day he went
down to the awfiss with the wood
one and calm hoam with the silvir
one
Wat a luvly umbreler, Ma sed, ware
did you get it
A Present
Its a prezent, Pa sed.
From who, prey? sed Ma
If enyboddy asks you, Pa sed, jest
tell them you don't know.
Once wen I was out in the rane with
Pop and his umbreller. sumthing hap
pened. We went in a drug stoar, and
wen Pop was finished Sying stamps he
reetched for his umbreller Jest as an
uthir man, wich wes a fat man, was
reetching for 1t. Pop beeing thin with
lawng legs and the othir man beeing
fat with shoart legs, Pop got thare
furst.
The Washington times., 1911-06-17

the duchess Marlbor that didn't
runnn inches from her Adams apple it'd tickle
her shoulder blades somepn awful and she wouldn't feel home
all But she feels fine opra cloak and do l. and that's
why they're popular especially Belle especially with the girls
that just barely afford 'em
The Advertisement Fetched Mamie
bought this at & Browner' though I
handsome snabe Coopenhms window
than this think $ cheaper But know why
Brown Browner? Because simply couldn't resist their ad
verement There's doubt about it, Belle advertisn will rank
with electricity the comm
I'd about made mind let Coopenhms have
when happened Brown Browners advertisement There's
confidence, Belle
the healthy lookn black may the way the
the whole the anyhow be-
doubt whether those cloak I'd Coopenhem windows
desrble they looked after all
So took and though wasn't much impressed
with Coopenheims showin rmemberin that gowin
and fny paid s. I'd "a paid Coopenheim and
the package with for fear they wouldn't quick enough
and somebody esed along and take it.
Yes Belle I'm firm believer advern You'll notice when
the dukes
hree it's always the girls whose pictures have been the
fnly Adverisin'
The Washington times., 1911-06-17

ze that all their knowledge but wisdom of books and that the
of ALL the lesson of life and love and
still awaiting them; while the othersthe old fokackng
learned
of ones mental ability
mind absorb facts
broadening point and often short the
ladder high positions.
The Beauties On Every Side
diplomas mention the studies required to be kind to
patient suffer with Others and share their
opening of the heart the world,
nd the searchf 70 beauties that lie side.
the BRAIN and teaches the body but only
struggle the heart soul And that why
graduates mysteriouy eered de-
end of ard when they
college that institution of
nfe-and the curriculum is long and hard.
and learned youthful and brilliant
June army marching gaily with business
patoons that and
and don't be that
amor learning sheepskn will protect from the bruises
for
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
ENGLISH Joke FOR TODAY

He was found in Regent street with a
disconsolate look.
What is the matterT was the
obvious question.
My wife has sent me to Liberty's to
buy a tabouret.""
"A what?"
"a tabouret"
Whats that?''
"Oh, one of those things that stand
about shin high In the dark" said the
disconsolate one impatiently, and moved
in the direction of Verrey's.-The Pink
I'm.
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
Under Shady Trees
Try Some of These
DIFFERENT NOW

that you could hear the rustic of an
gels wings whenever 1 was near you"
Yes" he bitterly replied, 81 thought
that was what 1t was, but have since
learned that 1t was merely the creak-
ing Of your corset"
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
sKE HOLDS IT UP TO THE
LISTENING GIRL
Loretta's Looking Glass

swine who is roofing around In the
remnants OF gossip and quarrel and
scandal and personality where she is
distinctly trespassing.
What possible advantage is It to
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
Our Grocery Clerk
Says Be Careful

Our customers have got themselves
into the habit of refusing the kind offers
of the telephone company to install
phones in their houses because they
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
The Counon Fad

Mrs. Lightly-I think, Helen. you
ought to advise your husband against
smoking so much.
Her Friend-I couldn't think OF such
a thing at this time; why we need only
5000 more coupons to get a hand
painted sofa pillow.
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
The Husband Case;
Or, Great Detection

The great detective removed his black
sIouch hat and sat carefully on Its
hrim.
Now, madam" he asked kindly,
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
A Tipht Snueeza

Irena-I just DANCED with that Mr..
ALARMS.
Harry-well, you seem to have pulled
through all right.
Irena-Yes; but It was a tight
squeeze.
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
A Good-By

The Lamb-Tve just bought a hun
dred shares of C.. @. & D. common.
Think it's good buy?
The Wolf-It's a good-by to your
money.
The Washington times., 1911-06-17

IRENE and confident of their ability to cope with
all the difficulties life lays out ahead of our STUN
bling feet Junes mighty army, young, SO full OF
bravery, lightly armed with their sheepskin di-
pomas, has begun the battle for success.
So many youthful eyes, masculine and femi-
nine are seeing dreams of fame and fortune, so
many young heads gold or brown, are held high in
pride at the thought of the knowledge stored in
dusty brains. and yet-so few realize that gradua-
ton is in truth commencement" and not the end.
How many, do you think, coming home,
trife intolerant of the ways of the household,
inclined 70 their importance, real
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
M A M lie ELLIS BELLE
The Duchess ana She Have
Something in Common, and
1T PAYS TO ADVERTISE

MA see somepin NICE Belle? Take look at this
Considered just as an opra cloak, don't you think
it's almost too good for the op'ra?
That's fine thing about opra coaks-any-
body can wear 'em from the duchess O. MarlboT
to me without seemin' out O place. The men can
talk about suspenders, Belle, but opra cloaks are
the real democratic garments.
S'pose l went to the theater with Bill in one
O these V-back, ebb tide dresses that expose you
to the multitude. l wouldn't feel natural, neither
would Bill and everybody that knew would tell
their friends they givn' amateur imita-
tion of rd- deh On he other haud
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
Hard TO Decide

Whom does the baby resemble?'
well, we haven't quite determined
yet. To tell the truth, none of our
relatives have very much money"
The Washington times., 1911-06-17
OUR DEVIL WONDERS

II George Five can take any more
pleasure in his jeweled bonnet than a
cullud person can out of a discarded
silk hat
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-01-28
Secret of Queer Friendship

are suspected Of talking official bust
ness, the president and I are merely
engaged in telling each other our
choicest fish stories and describing our
experiences at fishing In different
parts of the country.
.'Do you recall-of course you do
that the president took long trip
through the northwest last July and
that l was his sole companion on that
trip, at least for the entire distance!
Almost everybody thought that he was
taking pleasure excursion to see
Yellowstone park and to get acquaint-
ed with parts of the country he had
never visited; and there was good
deal of wonder why Democratic SEN
ator went with him. Well, the real
reason for that trip was Just fish. and
| was largely responsible for its be-
ing made.
ut came about in this way. In
April, 1888. just after congress had
adjourned, the president visited Flor
ida. Shortly after his return to the
White House l called upon him and
we talked until three o'clock in the
morning about his experiences in the
south. especially his fishing expert
ences. He told me. among other
things, how he went of one day with
a guide in a rowboat in some of the
mysterious portions of Kissimmee
lake. expecting to have a day of black
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-01-28
KWANG HSU'S MAUSOLEUM

After searching the forests of the
eastern hemisphere for the most dur
able, best and most beautiful wood,
and after great deal Of competition
among producers and dealers, the i'm
perial princes Of the Chinese empire
have fixed upon species with which
will be constructed magnificent MAUI
soieum to mark the final resting place
of the late ''Son of Heaven"-the Chi
nese emperor, Kwang Hsu. It was dis
covered in the Philippine islands, and
is an exceedingly hard, fne-grained,
heavy and handsome wood. A Manila
lumber company has secured the con-
tract, which Is describes as "the rich
est commercial prize of recent years
in China" but the price, although very
large, is not given. The preliminary
contract, signed by two Of the impe
rial princes, calls for a first shipment
Of $4,000 feet of the wood. On its ar
rival at Pekin work will begin forth
with on the great sepulchral tomb,
which will be placed among those of
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-01-28
OLD COMMON SENSE.
Change Food When Yeu Feel Out Of
Sorts.

"A great deal depends upon yourself
and the kind of food you eat" the
wise old doctor said to a man who
came to him sick with stomach trou.
BILE and sick headache once or twice
week, and who had been taking pills
and different medicines for three or
four years.
He was induced to stop eating any
sort of fried food or meat for break.
fast, and was put on Grape-Nuts and
cream, leaving of all medicines.
In few days he began to get bet.
ter, and now he has entirely recover.
ed and writes that he is in better
health than he has been before In
twenty years. This man is Sc wears
old and says he feels like a new man
all the time"
Read "The Road to Wellville,'' In
pkgs, There's a Reason"
Ever read the above fetterP A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine. trues and full OF humas
Interest
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-01-28
Learn to Listen, Good Advice FOR one
Who ls Starting Out In
the World.

~The little piece of advice that I
would give you this morning" said
Uncle Hiram to his! hopeful young
nephew, "is this: Learn to listen"
1--WE all think that our own expert
euces are the most interesting that
ever were, that the things that have
hefallen us are the most wonderful;
but don't monopolize the conversation,
Stephen.
"As a rule, what happened to you
doesn't interest the other man at all;
what happened to him is what inter
ssts him most, and II you are wise you
will let him tell you about it; and be-
ware of trying to match his experience
with something greater out OF your
own, which, however greater it may
have been, will only make him think
less of you, for naturally it belittles
him, and that is something that you
want always to avoid.
= 80 let TIA ethpe man do the tN
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1911-01-28
Their Last Hone Gone.

When the minister praised the rasp-
berry jam at Mrs. Green's bountiful
Saturday night supper, he could not
imagine why Angie and Horatio, the
twins, gazed at him so reproachfuliy.
Don't you like raspberry jam, my lit
tie man." he asked Horatio
Eyes, sir, do, and Angie does"
said Horatio in distinctly resentful
tones, land mother told us that she
was afraid the last she made wasn't
quite up to the mark, and if you didn't
praise it, Angie and / could have it for
luncheon on our bread, for Mrs. Willis
and Mrs. Shedd never said a word
when they ate it, and you've made the
third; but now she'll use it for the
church sociables," and Horatio looked
gloomily at his twin, who returned the
look in kind.-Youth's Companion.