Weekly journal-miner., 1911-02-22

most fun out of the varied melange of wit and humor; of sense and nonsense, that was poured forth the guests or the hosts. There were many men of high degree among the former; men of stern visage with faces lined with the burdens of great public charges and respOnsibili- ties; yet they laughed like school boys and chuckled and chortled with mirth at the merry quips and jests of the scribes that unfailingly play ed upon the foibles of some of their own number or hit off in a roaring skit some fatal weakness in the party policies.
 And the hosts had that keen sense of enjoyment that comes from knowledge that one has purveyed successfully to the utmost demands of mind and matter and has sup plemented a repast of the most ex- quisite viands with a feast of ming led humor and satire ealuelated to add infinite zest to the entertain ment.
 Gridiron dinners differ from most other formal affairs of the table in the fact that a guest does not wade drearily through heavy course din ner clear down to the coffee and cigars and only then, with brain more or less dulled, have an oppor- tunity to listen to floods of oratOry. No; at one of these banquets the fun begins with the very seating of the guests and sparkles and erackles through the dinner, and interrupts courses in a fashion caluclated to drive well-meaning chef to dis traction.
 Tonight s dinner was no exception to the rule for almost at the out set there was what appeared to be a bitter row over the inauguration 
 the New York Sun, as president to preside over the dinners of the Grid iron Club for the next year. Quite unaware of opposition, he had taken his seat at the very handle of the Gridiron when he was fiercely beset by the famous Democratic "Com- mittee of Fifteen.'' Because they mad undertaken to run the business of the House of Representatives re- lieving of all responsibility the un- fortunate Speaker (Champ Clark) whom they exhibited in shackles to demonstrate what a rules fight in one Congress can do to a perfectly good speaker in the next; they now extended their ambitious designs and demanded to be inaugurated as Presi- dent of the Gridiron Club.
 Scarcely had the committee been placated by being resolved into EHog Combine' and order restored when Japanese spy was unearthed. Papers of the most compromising na- ture were found upon his person, such as diagram showing where Honorable Cummins will place step ladder on the back porch of the White House ''Blue print of Hon. Taft's mind when Hon. Hitchcock refused to be impelled with toe of boot out of Republican National Con- mittee '-" Monograph record show ing long intervals of silence at 0ys- ter Bay' and measurements of Honorable hole into which Congress throws a billion dollars each year. .'f Just when the excitement ran high est. it was discovered that the pse udo-spv was Richard Pearson Hobson the "Japanese War Scare"
 Blithe enough was the sprightly clerk who announced to the diners that the House had passed the Re ciprocity bill, which he held in his hand. But he cut an awful figure a few minutes later as he emerged from the door of the Senate Cham Der, with his clothes in tatters, his hat knocked over his eyes and the parchment of the bill in shreds- "all that was left of Reciprocity"
 Then for a moment the dining hall with it's exquisitely beautiful floral i establishment was plunged into blackness, and the great fiery grid iron over President Taft's head faded away. In sepulehral tones a lecturer lifted his voice amid the chill silence and discoursed mourn fully, and then in turn with pungent wit upon public men and measures, and shrieks of laughter were heard as a remorseless spotlight was direct ed upon the shrinking victims of his shafts of wit as they were each