davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
A Confirmed Pessimist.

Appropos of Canadian reciprocity.
N. G. Goodwin said the other day at
the Lambs in New York:
But you can't rely on Senator
Blank. Blank is never satisfied.
visited his ranch one day and he had
the finest crop | ever saw harvested,
Il knew. though, that Blank would
have something to complain about,
AND, sure enough, when | remarked.
This is a record crop, you lucky ras-
CALI Blank frowned and said:
Ives, but I'm afraid it's going to
be a terrible strain on the land
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

What is your fee for extracting 8
tooth?" asks the heavy set man with
the fur trimmed overcoat
Five dollars" answers the dentist
recognizing in his patron a well kncwr
plutocrat.
wv ell, say, I'd like to make a bar
gain with you. I've got a whole LOT
of grudge at this tooth, and if you'll
let me swear at you as much as | liks
for hurting me when you pull It don't
mind paying you $40 extra"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Dear Clara" wrote the young man.
pardon me, but I'm getting so forget
full. l proposed to you last night, but
really forget whether you said yes or
no."
Dear WILL" she replied by note,
80 glad to hear from you. / know I
said yes to some one last night, but l
had forgotten just who 1t was Red
Hen.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

One of the most remarkable proofs OF
the unusual laxative merit contained in
DR.. CaldwelPs Syrup Pepsin is that 1t is
effective not only in people In the prime
of life. but at the extremes OF ages. As
many letters are received from mothers
regarding the cures of children. as from
men and women of sixty. seventy and
eighty years OF age. 1t must be truly a
wonderful laxative.
In the cure of constipation and bowel
trouble in old people It has no equal. 1t
corrects the constipation. dispels the head
ache. biliousness. gas. drowsiness after
eating. etc. People advancing in years
should see TO IL that their bowels move
freely. and II they do not to take DR..
cAldwells Syrup Pspsin. You can pro-
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
The AWakenjnO.

First Tragedian-Ah! deah boy! The
chance of my life came last night.
Izzacstein offered me thirty shillings
a week to play Hamlet. The contract
was drawn up, he lent me his foun-
tain pen to sign with, when
Second Tragedian-You woke up!
First agedian-Damme. How did
you know?
Second Tragedian-By the salary.
my pippin. I've dreamed like that
myself.-Punch.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Agnes was being hurried of to bed
at her usual hour, p. M, despite the
fact that there were guests in the
house.
why, Agnes, you go to bed with
the chickens, don't your" a visitor
sympathetically remarked.
mo, l don't" replied Agnes, re-
senting this reference to her youth. Il
10 to bed with mamma. "-Harper's
Magazine.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Il hear that Mrs. Cole, the wife Of
the dentist, is suing him for divorce"
Eyes. Too bad that he treated her
that way, wasn't it,"
What did he dor
"She had to have a tooth filled one
day, and when he got her into the
chair and gagged with one of those
RUBBER contrivances, ne stood there
and talked at her all afternoon. re-
fusing to give her a chance to answer
back"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Jonathan-Silas is dead. Went to
Their city ter git tooth pulled and
Their dentist told him he'd better take
gas first.
Postmaster-Gave him an overdose,
Ell?
Jonathan-No. After Their dentist
told him that he went back ter his
boarding house an took Their gas him
self.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
Why Daniel Was Unframed.

"Can any of you tell me-" the Sun
day school teacher asked, why Dan
tel when he was cast into the den
with the lions, was unharmed?"
Il can, please" piped the juvenile
who always figures in this brand OF
anecdote.
"WeN?"
"'Cause, teacher he belonged to
the w"-Everybodys Magazine
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
a COUNTRY SCHOOL FOR GIRLS

IN New York City. Best features Of coun-
try and city life Out-of-door sports on
school park of IS acres near tho Hudson
River. Academic Course Primary Class to
Graduation. Upper class for Advanced
Special Students. Music and Art Write
for catalogue and terms.
as Bangs and Mss xAhs Rhra1k hess l5Jn 81 vest
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
Absent-Minded Suffraqette.

One of the Suffragettes-I've lost
me best hatpin, Lizzie.
Another-Where did you leave it
last?
The First-Oh, | remember now!
left it sticking in that Policeman
London Opinion.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
"SPOHN'S.v

This is the name Of the greatest Of all
remedies for Dstemper, Pink Eye, Heaves,
and the like among all ages of horses Sold
by Druggists, Harness Makers, or send to
the manufacturers. $50 and Sl0O bottle
Agents wanted. Send for free book Spohn
Medical Co., Spec. Contagious Diseases
Goshen, Ind.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
His Claim to Fame.

V"You say that hard-faced young fell
low over there is your most eminent
citizen?"
HE shore is. Mebbe you don't be-
lieve it, mister, but that there young
Teller took a spring trainin' trip with
the Giants one year"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
A Great Invention.

The Peddler-This is little device
especially designed for use in our
spring weather.
The Housekeeper-Wha is it?
The Peddler-It may be used one
minute as fan and the next to shovel
on the snow.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
His Hope.

81 suppose" the beautiful girl said,
you write for the mere love of
writing?"
YES" the sad looking poet replied,
but l still hope to some day be able
to write for at least fifteen cents a
ine."-Judge.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
Feeble Guardianship.

81 wonder" said the Sweet Young
Thing. why a man is always so
frightened when he proposes?"
That" said the Chronic Bachelor,
is his guardian angel trying to hold
him back'--Stray Stories.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
Not a Parallel Case.

II always take little vine with my
dinner" said Mr.. Fadoogus to the
rector. 81 believe Noah INDUCED IL
IT, didn't he?"
Eyes. but you must remember that
Noah had lived quite long time or
water"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19


HIS medicines woldfmous eHica
The perfect dcvise fol- deli
cate women Is Dr. Pieroe's Fsvorite Prescription
ri MAKES WEAK WOMEN STRONG,
WOMEN WELL
oth rlsin nssh in the Peoples Medical Adviser COOS p aewy
Edition, of
eo stamps wppns and mailing b Address shove
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Set yourself earnestly to see what
you were made to do, and then set
yourself earnestly to do it.-PhillipS
Brooks
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
Not Responsible.

Teacher-You are late every morn
ing.
Pupil-Well, 1t isn't my fault that
you didn't build your blamed old
school house nearer my home.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

You are not treating yourself or your
family fairly if you don't keep Hamlins
Wizard Oil in the house. It's the best
substitute for family doctor and a mighty
good friend in case Of emergency.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
A Decided Change.

Doctor-You certainly do look bet
ter. You must have followed my ad-
vice and had a change.
Patient-Yes, doctor, ! have.
Doctor-Where did you go?
PATIENT went to another physi-
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
Please Read These Two Letters.
HERE IS HER OWN STATEMENT.

Paw Paw, Mich. 1.-TWO years ago suffered
very severely with dlsplacement-I could not
be on my feet for a long time. My physician
treated me for several months without much re-
lief, and at last sent me to Ann ArbOr for an OPP
erations was there four weeks and came home
suffering worse than before. My mother adj
vised me to try Lydia e. PinlSham's Vegetable
Compound, and did. To-day L am well and
strong and do all my own housework. owe my
health to Lydia IL. Pinkham'S Vegetable Com
pound and advise every woman who is afflicted
with any female complaint to try it," = Mrs.
Orville Rock, IL. II. No. 3, Paw Paw, Mich.
~There never was q worse case"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

one size smaller after using Aliens Foot Ease the
Anuseptc powder TO be shaken into the shoes. II
makes tight shoes fee easy Gives rest and
comfort. Refuse substitutes. For FREE trial
package, address Allen S. Olmsted. lie Roy, N. 7.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Full life exists in three dimensions,
art In two, and science in one; like a
solid, superficies, and line.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

An institution must be propped up
by precedent when 1t is no more up
lifted by sap.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Take Garfield Tea in the spring to purify
the blood and cleanse the system.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Garfield Tea will win your approval. II
is pleasant to take, mild in action and very
health-givng. 1t overcomes constipation
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

A woman who has a nose for news
usually has chin for telling 1t.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Away with these cemeteries OF
stone; they are indecent; let me fade
into the anonymous grass
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
Getting the Worst of It.

"Bliggins isn't Sery lucky in driving
bargains"
his own mind without getting the
worst of the deal"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Take Garfield Tea to overcome constipa-
ton, cleanse system and maintain health.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

A pleasant smile and a sweet voice
G~e great helps on life's journey.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Envy is furnishing ourselves for be-
ing inferior to our neighbor.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

Prevents Observation-Disclosures Eye Salvo
In Tubes for all Eye Ills. No Morphine.
Ask Druggists for New Size 25c VAL
liable Eye Book in Each Package.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19
a Poor Weak Woman

As she is termed will endure bravely and patiently
aGones which strong man would give way under
The fact is women more patient than they ought
to be under such troubles
Bvery woman ought to know that she may obtain
the most experienced medical advice free Of eharfs
and in absoIss confidence and privacy by writing to
the Worlds Dispensary Medical Association, R. v.
Pierce, M. D., President Buffalo, N. Y. Dr. Pierce
has been chief consulting physician of the Invalds
Hotel and Sureical Institute, of Buffalo, NJ Y, for
many years and has had a wider practical experience
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

For so years Lydia T.. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has been the standard remedy for
female ills. No sick woman does justice to
herself who will not try this famous medicine.
Made exclusively from roots and herbs, and
has thousands of cures to its credit.
nnED Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick women
to write her for advice. She has
guided thousands to health free of charge.
Address Mrs. Pinkham, Lynn, Mass.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1911-05-19

ills than mine, and cannot begin tell what suffered.
for month and the doctor said nothing would
Compound; please him took it, and improved wonder
never feel i'll effects it only ask other suffering
before submitting operation" Mrs. Margaret Meredith
II. f. ID. No. B ROckpOr, Ind
We will handsome reward to who will
that these letters genuine and uhor that either Of
paid in for their testimonials that tho
letters published without their permission, that the original
The Detroit times., 1911-05-27
Issue New Score Book.

How to Score a Baseball Game.
the latest issue of Spalding's Athletic
Library, makes its appearance with
the opening OF the season and should
be OF interest to every follower OF the
game who keeps a record of the
plays. whether OF an individual con.
test or that OF an entire season. II
has been written by J. NJ. Cummings
Tor many years sporting editor OF The
baltimore News, Official scorer OF the
Baltimore Baseball Club, and well.
known member OF the Baseball Writ.
ers' Association. Besides giving full
directions on every point in scoring.
II also contains numerous questions
and answers ON intricate points of
play that often arise In a game and
on which there is often diversity
OF opinion. This feature clone makes
II Invaluable.
The Detroit times., 1911-05-27
FAMOUS AvIAToRs COMING
List For Detrolta Meet to inelud,
RENE Simon.

On exhibition at the headquarters
Of the Detroit aviation meet. Mo- l4l
g7riswold-st., are the two mammoth
silver cup trophies won by John b
Moisant and Rene Simon at the ma
tional meet, New Orleans, last De
cember. Moisant got his prize for the
longest time in the air, four hours
81 minutes and SO seconds. Moisant
was the first man to cross the Eng
fish channel, flying from Paris to
London and winning $4,000 prize.
He was also winner of the Statue OF
Liberty prize He was killed at the
New Orleans meet.
Simon was awarded a cup for the
fastest time, a speed of SO miles an
hour in an aeropiane. The other con-
testants In that race were Moisant,
Barrier. Audiences, Garros. Hamilton.
Frisbie and Seymour. OF these men,
Simon, Barrier, Frisbie and Seymour
will fly at the Detroit meet, to be held
on the State Fair grounds. June 20
to July 4. s.ss4. ,
Simon has the distinction OF hav-
ing flown to the highest altitude of
any aviator, 1880 feet above sea
level
The Detroit times., 1911-05-27
Most Umpires Brave
Men, SaysH. Fullerton

"Umpires are brave men-at least
the great majority of them. One OF
the brayest things ever saw was the
act OF Billy Evans on the old White
Sox grounds In Chicago" writes Hugh
Fullerton In the June number OF the
american Magazine. ION that park.
happiiy now vacated, there was a tier
OF seats known as the Stock Yards
In which gathered one OF the most
dangerous crowds Cfor umpires) In
the country. They were regulars vino
occupied the same seats almost every
day and who fought for them.
seats Oh course, were not reserved.
but hundreds claimed a title TO Ger.
tain places. They paid their quar-
ters and II anyone was In the place
anc refused TO move, he was tossed
OUT and thrown over the heads of the
crowd to the bottom. That crowd
started after Evans. who had given
q close decision at third Lase against
chicago. Evans walked over ONO
foul ground back of first base and "A
shower OF bottles fell around him
IL looked as II hundred men were
throwing bottles at the umpire. One
Bottle touched hts cap, several bound
ed and struck him, one hit him on the
arm. During this bombardment Evans
did not turn his head. He stood
watching the batter. For at least
three minutes the bottles whistled
around his head. The people in the
grandstand shouted for him to run.
Nearing he would be killed. The play
crs begged him to move into the dia-
mond out Of range. He stood still.
with back 10 his foes, until the batter
made base hit, then trotted down
near second base to watch for play
there. AS the opposing team took
tie field few moments later Evans
walked TO the same position back OF
first base. and the crowd that had
tried TO kill him stood up and cheered
him. They recognized brave man.
lOne fellow threw a bottle, and the
crowd pitched him down the steep
steps, passing him along until he hit
the fence"
The Detroit times., 1911-05-27
bfIng Ray ba(i To Stop
Tigers. Says Hedges

Il don't see who is going to stop
the. Tigers" observed President r.
L. Hedges. OF the Browns. recently,
as he inspected the latest baseball re-
turns. Looks like the Detroit peo-
pie were going to make a wide-open
race of II.
However, have a scheme. Why
not bring Ray back. use him when
ever we play Detroit, and then sell
him to some other club when they
have 10 face the Tigers We could
pass him along In this way all sea-
The Detroit times., 1911-05-27
Masonic League Opens.

Manager Rathbone of Union lodge
team promises great surprise FOL
tho Orientals In their contest tomor
row afternoon at Papke's grounds
corner of Livernois and Dix-aves., this
being the first game Of the season
between these two strong teams oi
the Masonic league. Root will pitc
for the Orientals and IL he Is sup
ported, II will take some mighty fine
playing by the Unions to get away
with the game. The Detroit and Cor
lnthian teams play at Delray.
The Detroit times., 1911-05-27
Wants to Change Rules.

Owner John /. Taylor is out with
another plea for rule that the
pitcher need not take his turn at bat
Once Taylor thought that he could
nut through legislation stopping the
pitcher from taking his turn at the
bat and having a sub hit for him, go
Ing so far as to hire an emergency
hitter named Clay, who had made q
great record in the Tri-State League
The legislation did not go through
and Clay never got chance to show
what he could do.
The Detroit times., 1911-05-27
DISCOVER IDEAL BASEBALL
MANAGER. HE'S FROM CONN.

At last the ideal baseball
manager mas been discovered.
He Is Dan O'Neill, manager and
owner OF the Connecticut league
team representing New Britain.
who has shown that he has a
realizing sense of what Is due
TO the patrons OF baseball who
pay their quarters to see his
team in action. A game be-
tween New Britain and Spring.
field won by the former IL to
10, was so poorly played that
at It's conclusion Manager
0'Neill had the announcement
made from the diamond that
spectators on the way out of the
grounds would be. given rain
checks good for the next game.
The Detroit times., 1911-05-27

son. Great idea. what?"
Ray Is laborlng for tho Hartford
(Conn.), team and is doing we'll. His
slow ball. which virtually knocked
the Tigers out OF the pennant race In
1910. Is slower than ever. and he has
control. A letter received from the
Hartford management conveys the In
formation that Ray has learned how
to hold runners on the bases. That
was his greatest weakness when in
the league before, but the Tigers
never got enough men TO first 10 take
any great chances.
The Detroit times., 1911-05-27

CHICAGO, May 26.-Chuck Larsen,
who was out-pointed by Mickey Sheri-
dan, at Gary, Ind, Wednesday night.
today called off his bout scheduled
for indianapolis. June /, because OF
an injury TO HIS hand, sustained in
the Gary fight As soon as he re.
covers. Larsen will start training for
another match with Sheridan.
The Detroit times., 1911-05-27
EVANSVILLE BALL ToSSER
MAKES GREAT RECORD


The greatest record for con.
tinuous service In the history
of baseball was broken when
Lii Sager, third baseman Of the
Evansville club, was spiked In
the hand and compelled to quit
the field In the first inning OF
the game between Evansville
and Dayton, on May 6. Previ-
ousIy. Sager had not missed an
inning OF Central league game
since July 20, 1904. Sager has
long been one OF the star third
basemen OF the league. A good
fielder and a fair batter, he new.
err sustained injury nor aroused
the ire OF the umpire. He was
looking forward to completing
seven straight years Of service
next July and a run OF 1000
games this season. Lii play
ed IN SOS straight games with
Evansville and South Bend be-
fore he took the count.
The Washington herald., 1911-06-04
GERMAN FLIGHTS
HAVE Big PRIZES
Circuit for AviatOrs Covers
Fifteen Large Cities.

Berlin, June 3-The organizing COM
mittee Of the German aerial circuit oil
1911 has decided to devote the sum OF
s1oo. 600 to the prize fund. including the
s25, 900 presented by a Berlin newspaper,
to four prizes offered by the minister OF
war, of which two, in addition to sums
of money, include the purchase OF the
victorious machines.
The circuit will be Berlin. Magdeburg.
Schwerin, Hamburg. Kiel. Luensburg.
Hanover, Muenster. Cologne. Dortmund.
Cassel, Nordhausen, Halberstadt. and
Berlin, a total distance of 1.l66 miles.
On the days Of rest local flying COM
petitions will be arranged for which ST..
500 has been set aside.
The circuit will just touch Kiel week.
IN which there will be Kiel national
aviation competition, for which the min
istry of war is also offering a prize, and
a flight over the Harz Mountains from
Nordhausen to Halberstandt
The flight will begin on June II and will
end on July 6. According to the puo-
lished details the programme Is to In
clude a flying week in Magdeburg and
another in Kiel and day halts In Ham
burg, Schwerin, Hanover, Cologne. Dort-
mund, and Nordhausen.
, First prize will be for covering the
whole distance in the shortest time. In
the case Of a dead heat the airman who
during the interval has covered the great
est distance in flights with passengers
will be awarded the first prize.
The Washington herald., 1911-06-04
POTOMAC HEIGHTS
is NEWEST SUBURB
Colony Grows in Public Fa'
vor and Popularity.

II back to the farm Is the slogan OF
safety to the tired city worker, WASH
ington has fallen into harmonious accord
with this sentiment, so far as possible
in the establishment Of suburban re-
treats that offer all that any country can
give.
Among the latest Of these ventures is
the establishment Of the colony at Po-
tomac Heights Already the development
has passed beyond the bounds Of ex-
pectation Of even the most sanguine of
the promoters, and the houses that are
already built and occupied IN this To-
caIity are artistic in appearance and sub-
stantial in structure.
The Potomac Heights Land Company
is composed of j. D. Dorsett, president;
]. NJ. Maupin. vice president and general
manager; S. T. Dorsett, secretary
treasurer and business manager, and r.
III. Mcneil, attorney. These form the di-
rectors along with w. F. jackson, j. D.
Kenerly, and Capt A. ]. overton.
With twelve new houses built and con-
tracts for eight more, the enterprise is
assured of success. The close proximity
of a government reservation Of 163 acres
and the erection upon it Of a $4,000
building are features that add materially
to the atractiveness of the colony.
The Washington herald., 1911-06-04
ARCHITECTS HOLD
ANNUAL EXHIBIT
Programme Extends Over
Two Weeks with Lectures.

The Washington Architectural Club
will close the season with a programme
of attractions extending from June to
June 20, inclusive.
On next Tuesday evening, at the regu-
lar business meeting of the club. q lee
ture will te delivered BY Rayourn Clark
Smith, of Philadelphia. on 'Architec-
trral woodwork and interior finish" The
club dinner will be he'd on Thursday
evening at RaNcher's.
The exhibition in the hemicycle Of the
Corcoran Art Gallery Will begin on Sat-
urday evening. June 10. with a private
view by invitation, and will be open to
the public from June u to June q, in
elusive.
Tuesday evening. June 90. will see the
close Of the club year and will be
ladies night On that evening the
subject of the lecture is Oriental rugs
by Paul G. CARRIER, Of New York and
Washington, and the lecture will be Illus
trated with rugs OF rare value and his
toric interest, from some of the most
famous collections.