davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1911-12-15

@upernbr eller life @mpernpr? S
Se politiife @reble ioa bel iom I
@ogblooene bar ser / Sc iibite Gage
peret enoeI @urm1lbei | Mnleoni11g
al, at @%icegrtperner Gam 3. GORDON
bopoe reiit set 5pgrgsmoal for @ta=
tens General Mbpofat, ON life gu
pernerembe6et bar at betragte iom
pofant, noar @uberneren, iom
oisle Gage er frap9renoe fra Sta<
ten for en- lpngere SID. Spis &C.
neral M6pofoten bilbe erflere bette
at pere Iilfaloet, mentes set at
pare bons &eniiet at iommenfaloe
en- @fstraiamling at 9egislatnre''
for at giennem fere forifiellig 9onz
gipning, iom efter bans @ening bar
foripmt, men / b6i @ra6 neonenoig.
sssmiolertio bar Mttornep General
Snsooes ofgibet 6en &ienoelie, al
@rlpernerembeoet ita6ig befl9oes al
81. 8. gberbart, ielp ON ban CT
9iten for at tale Staens Gag for
Sc troenoe ser, og Gicegrpernpren
bar opgipet ale Tmfer ON at relic
6en 5torm. fom disadvantages
u6en TpipI pil6e ppffe tillipe.
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
THE STAGE DOORKEEPER

IT see that George H. Primrose. the
minstrel man. is goin' to retire." said
the stage-struck youth as he fixed a
refractory shoe lace.
Yep" said the stage doorkeeper as
he stopped whiting his initials in the
door jamb. George is goin' to tie the
can on the minstrel business and de-
vote his time to farmin' in Oregon.
I'm Just wondering how he'll like 1t.
Had Good Chance
Hes had a good chance to see all
the country and he must know where
he wants to settle, but II strikes me
that an apple orchard in Oregon is a
long way from the peach crop on
Broadway.
when, you think Of the miles that
man has travelled you know that the
drummers have nothin' on him. Say,
I can remember seein' George Primrose
so far back that you wouldn't believe
It. He was always comm around ev-
cry season. One year 1t would be Prim-
rose and west and the next year It
would be Primrose and Dockstader. But
Georg1e was always there with his tam
The Washington times., 1911-07-21

nightly. and twas true that he had
never chewed gum in his life.
And yet Harold Ladyfng had the
heart OF q lion.
On the day that our story opens-a
Friday-the fair Mehitabel had ac-
cused Harold of being a mollycoddle,
merely because he cried bitterly be-
cause some of the chocolate from his
eclair had come off on his lily
fingers.
you wrong me, Nifty" cried he.
81 would ascend to the top of the
Eiffel tower and Jump off for love
Of you"
'Nawthin' at ALL" she scoffed, and
he exclaimed, II would put my head
in four lions mouths right in sue
cession for love of you"
still less!' she laughed, and in
desperation he shouted, II would
walk down the avenue with you If you
had a harem onr'
"HaroldT' she cried rapturously,
how you must love mer And they
married and lived happily most of
the time ever afterwards.
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
ACCORDING TO SAMMY

was setting on our frunt steps yes
tiddy aftirnoon late wen a man who
headed a shave so bad 1t must of hert
him cain up. Thare was ony l button
avn his cote and thare wasent eny
button hole avn the other side for II.
so wat good did evin l button do.
Ask yure mothir II she will pleese
give q poor man a few pennies, he sed.
thawt he was going to kry, and ]
sed ma isent in, wich she wasent
Nobody In
Amt enybody in. he sed. and I sed
ony, me, and I'm avn the frunt steps.
If that's In.
You wodent want to see a poor
man go hungry. wood you, he sed.
/ haven't had a bite to eet for days.
Kant you take me in and get me
sumthing to eet I haven't had q bite
to eet in days, he sed, forgetting
may be he told me that befoar.
So I tok him in and he sat down
at pops plase in the dining room and
I went to the ice books and brawt
him 1. plate Of kold meet, 1 han Of
chicken, 4 kold potatiZ and onyuns.
There was sum cherry pie thare to.
wich Is my favorite pie. and 1 thawt
he had enuff enyhow, without that
He ate everything so kwick 1 CESS
he dident masterkate propirly, but
may be II you haven't had a bite to
eet for 8 days you don't ham to mas
The Washington times., 1911-07-21

BOURNE. Do you remember now the
two kid dancers that he used to have
with himH And the little song and dance
they did on the levee? 1 can't say
that ever threw any fits over Georgie's s
voice, but when II came to clever foot
work he had Jim Corbett looking as
though he was nailed to the floor.
It's a long cry from a maroon
newmarket and shiny hat to q pair Of
overalls and a straw lid, but maybe
that's what George wants. But II he
delves around in the soil properly he'll
probably get Just as black as he used
to when he smeared the burnt cork
over his smiling features.
Here's to Him
We'll, here's to him." continued the
stage doorkeeper. Il hope that he'll
like his new nome and that he'll never
regret it and that Oregon will be
proud of him as a citizen. and more
than that, hope he'll raise a good
big CROP.
rCrop OF what7" queried the g. Y.
" Cotton, you ninuy," snorted the 8.
D. K. What would you expect a
minstrel man to raiser
The Washington times., 1911-07-21

terkate propirly avn akkount Of
thare being SO mutch empty room =
Wen he had ate everything, evin
the onyuns, he looked erround and
sed, Well, wat do you think of that,
hear they are, and / said, Wat are.
Inc silver nives and forks / lost
wen I was a boy. he sed- Little did
think I wood evir find them agsn,
and hear they are. Yure mothir
fownd them. dident she, he sed.
Bawt Them
don't no, 1 sed- / thawt she bawt
them, sed. WITCH did.
No, he sed, she fownd them, and
thare the nives and forks I lost wen
was a littil boy. And he startfd
putting them in his pockets, wEch
l thawt he awtent to do, bekaus evin
II he lost them he awt to put an add
in the papir insted OF koming into
peepils dining roms and taking them
that way. But he sed that was .hs
way peepil always do wen they lose
nives and forks so I sed, AwI rite
Jest then who shood opin the door
but pop and he sed, Sammy, who's
yure friend, and / sed, Hes the man
that lost the nives and forks, and pop
told me to go out and get a pleece-
man vile he minded the man, wich I
did. ony 1 stopped on the frunt steps
to rite this and now I am going b
get the pleeceman
The Washington times., 1911-07-21

rid of those dried peaches. They were
as dry as the dryest of them. but they
stuck, so yesterday. the boss got dis
gusted and told me could have 5
cents commission on every pound Of
them I sold.
1t may sound f1shy, but five minutes
after the boss had made ths PROPOSE
tion a red-headed chap blew in and
started looking me over as IL he
didn't know exactly what he was
after. Did you say dried peaches?"
caroled.
why, yes" he says, you can
give me a few pounds"
A few pounds; six or seven" !
wanted to know, with q get-rich-
quick scheme at the back OF my
noodle. Sure, that'll be all right" he
says. "and now let's talk insurance"
And do you know. rather than lose
that 35 cents commission, / was fool
enough to insure myself for 1900,
collections to be made every time I'm
broke Amt It awful7
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
Reddy Smith Chats
On Heat PrOstrationS

De best way tn keep cool desc hot
days, Jimmie, is not tn worry an
keep uh level head!
Hot? Well I should say so, but do
yu think dat worries me? Nav, /
jes' thinks uhbout udder things an 1
don't mind de heat so much.
Sure, deres uh lot NV people goin'
under wild de heat, but I tells yu,
Jimmie, dat II yu keep frum worryin',
an ten too yur wurk, W wont feel de
heat.
Now, take de case Nv Jones uver In
de Mutual Jones Is uh young feller,
fine, strong an hearty. He didn't have
tu worry uhbout de heat, but he wus
all de time complainin', TITS too hot"
'I cant do me wurk," an maxim lots
Nv udder expressions like dat. Well,
he jes repeated dem words over an
over an got himself to believer dat he
was goin' tn go under, an sure 'nougn'
de heat got him yesterday.
OATS why dey all goes under, JIM
mie, cause dey worries uhbout It.
Jones is in de hospital now. an
guess he'll stay dere. but little yours
truly is still alive an kickin', all cause
he don't worryl
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
sKE HOLDS IT UP TO THE
GIRL WHO MATCHES TROUBLE

turmoil. She telephoned. And the
wanderer, with hot heart at being
jerked away from a congenial party,
trotted home like a trained poodle, re-
senting the insinuation that she was
not of sufficiently sound mind and de-
veloped reason to know how TO take
care Of herself.
But the building Of unnecessary
bridges, the forcing Of others to fur
nish the timbers and making them
uncomfortable by the continuous
noise Of the never-ending hammerng,
had an end.
Because she had worried and stewed
and fretted over little things, mere
fanciful floods Of trouble, a real tor
rent came rushing down upon her.
And she had NO BRIDGE TO CROSS
IT.
A Dear One Died
clear sky. A dear one died. For two
years the menace had hung above
her. But she would not tell the
BRIDGE BUILDER because 1t would
make her, work harder than ever.
All! those two years! The one who
had needed sympathy and comfort
was denied II because of the passion
of the other for BUILDING BRIDGES
And now the reproach piles noun
tain high on the BUILDER OF UN-
NEEDED BRIDGES when she thinks
Of the two years during which her
loved one was calmly and quietly ap-
preaching the BRIDGE OVER THE
RIVER OF DEATH-ALONE. Think
Of all the wasted effort! Think of the
help and the comfort the builder
might have given TO the one who
trod the hard road to the REAL
BRIDGE!
oh, BUILDER OF BRIDGES. for
sake your useless workl
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
Humorous Selections
From Times Piano
DISAPPOINTMENT

A prominent business man in a west
ern state found 1t necessary on one
occasion to defeat a bill pending In
the legislature He went to lobbyist
and told him to beat the bill and pre-
vent its becoming a law at any price.
The lobbyist carried out the instruc-
tions and the measure did not go on
the statute books.
Tn sorry I had to resort to such a
thing as bribery said the capitalist
10 the lobbyist, but II that bill had
passed 1t would have ruined my entire
business
''Gee-whiz!" exclaimed the lobbyist In
sorrow. IF had known It meant that
much to you I would have gotten more
cut Of YOU"
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
Loretta's Looking Glass

party was starting out. and she added to
the lunch baskets choice collection of
cumbersome umbrellas and overshoes-
for fear 1t would rain. And all day
long, the ridiculous impedimenta had to
be dragged about In the hot and un-
yelled summer sun It did NOT rain.
When one Of her loved ones went out
of her sight she began to bridge-build
If the hour at which she expected the
wanderer home came and no wanderer
materialized, she stewed ana fretteo
about her building till the house was in
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
ENGLISH JOKE FOR TODAY

English lady teacher desires Japa-
nese puppies, four or. Ave, to form q
class"-Advt In North China Daily
News.
Fortunately. Just before the hounds
began to arrive, the important word
was corrected to "pupils."-Punch.
The Washington times., 1911-07-21

When compny there the slightest doubt
how to entertain them Come we'll play solitaire and which
one beats himself the first always glad noise and then the
kdsd be around the house the little
tables into the paror and everybodyd chase with
little table and pack O cards apiece and in.
Almost Melodramatic in Its Intensity
Excitin' Belle. nothn
heard but the heavy beathn player maxim his mind
die like and the thrln fip-hip of
jack
and wake all the players and eveboy shake
the hand tell him what enjoyable soae
they'd had fellow took girl home he had to promise
mouth the she could
what would "a happened shed that three the msnte
piece instead o sippn asver the O di'mon's.
l always had idea invented could
half Dozen mortal hours n beat myself but the
had the learn solitaire There
horrible examples to profit by If be beaten sPoe
satisfaction know did yourself but from usn
o this short life for the Belle mel
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
Contaminated

Mn BiIkins Ia seaside cottageD -
notice you always go to private oatn-
ing establishment. Why don you oaihe
in the ocean?
Ms BfIkins - The ocean? Goodness
me, why, all those hotel boarders
bathe In It.
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
Single Men Wanted

Guest-Td soon starve here.
Proprietor Country hoteO - There's
plenty to eat
Perhaps so, but those waiter girls
Of yours don't attend to me-
They don't Well, that's easily fixed.
Here's some wax"
What good is thatf''
Put It on your mustache, Of course,
and curl the ends. You've got too much
of a married look"
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
. His system

Does your wife ever make a fuss
because you smoke up the curtains ?"
No, 1 have system which pre-
vents anything Of that kind"
"A system. eh? What Is it7''
Il smoke such good cigars that the
curtains we have are necessarily too
cheap to cause my wife to worry
about them"
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
Needed More

Peddler-Any tins, ma'am!
Housekeeper dndignantly)-Those tins
you sold me last week have all gone to
pieces.
Peddler-Yes'm. I knew you'd want
some more by this time.
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
Amounts to Nothing

Mrs. Hitone-You said this parrot
had the gift OF speech. but he does
nothing but holler and. screech and
never says q thing. ..
Dealer-I meant de gift O. political
speech, lady. .. ....-
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
Harold And She; Or,
G'Wan! No Man Would!

Twas true that Harold Ladyfing's
mamma had made him wear a bib
until he reached his majority. Twas
true that Harold Ladyfing had his
nails manicured thrice daily and once
The Washington times., 1911-07-21

y WONDER If the girl ever lived
i who did not thrill to the splendor
of achievement when q great
bridge Is arched with tedious, dan
gerous effort across a river. And, in
her heart; she has almost worshiped
the man.. the engineer, whose brain
directed the work. She has reveled
in the thought Of the service to hu-
manity. She has been thankful for
the end Of q time when the sweeping
torrent could take It's toll Of human
life, She has rejoiced in the work Of
the bridge-builder and in the builder!
But you, who daily build bridges, are
not a cause for rejoicing You are a
source Of misery and discomfort. For
you not only construct the bridge, but
you create the very torrent that 1t Is
to span. You are the worrier! You
are the one who crosses the bridges
you build over the stream Of trouble that
you cause to flow. You seem never to
know with what a weight you burden
the minds Of those who are forced to
listen to your bridge plans. You are
impervious to the protests that they
make against your unnecessary labor.
State of Constant Confusion
Listen to this! There was another
like you. She built SO many bridges
that she had her family In a state Of
constant confusion. 1t was utterly I'm
possible to keep a map Of her con-
They endured her foolish,
wasteful work. But they tried to keep
from her all the materials with which
she might erect new structures of
worry. ..,0
She had q continuous stream Of worry
always running. And over 1t she flung
q thousand spans. She would look up
at dark cloud in a summer sky and
I'm tediately begin bridge A picnic
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
SOUL-HEALING BY COLORS
Strange Greed of the Daughter
OF Famous Poet
BY PEGGY VAN BRAAM

T in the very heart of great city, where the thun
shrill voices of passersby sound wearly when the
windows open, the daughter of famous poet
has made for herself strange pagan little chapel,
where, to escape the ways the soul-wearing strain
of social shams, the lust for gold and the hard
cruelty of the city, she worships Cupid, Venus and
silence.
Her odd religion has excited considerable con-
troversy among women, attracted by the novelty of
the shrnes before which she offers up her thoughts.
but repelled by much of the pagan side of it, yet
one feature of her novel creed is at least
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
Two Signs

Customer wish you'd quit dun
ming me for that suit of clothes. Do
you object to giving me time?
Tailor-Oh, no; but 1t looks as II
YOU expected me to give you the suit
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
M A ME TELLS BELLE
Although Few Old People
Are Still Helpless Slaves
SOLITAIRE HAS DEPARTED

5 the good, odfashioned game O. solitaire got any
hold on you, Be elef Do you feel capable O. sittin'
in one position for seven sweet hours putin kings
on queens and eights sevens until you're over
taken by sudden fit o giddiness or somebody
sneaks up behind you and forcibly separates you
from the cards?
l remember the time, Belle, when everybody
with any education at all knew at least seven ways
o playin solitaire, and soon as they got tired o
beatin themselves at any particular way they'd just
change off to any of the other six ways and If
they ony had patience enough there was sure to be
crushin' yictrv in favor ~ he oIaver
The Washington times., 1911-07-21

worth consideration
1t the "sou-healng blending of colors and peace"
This the
ply escape the lack of concentrations the glitter
the social world
coor that will lend their aid
thinking beautiful thoughts and the filling of the soul with
the Of absolute loveliness
colorless, should
says shades cushions and soft hang
ings of Soul massage while the fod red
booded needs soothing and and the artistic
temperament moods should take for
the blended pastel shades soohe the varying
Impulses
odd idea, isn't it, An Idea told In
simply
her hair doctored and
should
developing beauty Of soua beauty that the Poets daugh
saws MAY worship of Saint Silence amid
coor which engender the beautiful thoughts
which soothe"
The Washington times., 1911-07-21
Our Grocery Clerk
Says He's Insured

Yep, I'm insured, 50 II died right
now it wouldn't make any difference,
can blame It on dried peaches.
don't know why we couldn't get
Morris tribune., 1911-07-14
NO DECISION Is REACHED
Conference at Minneapolis Considers
Petit Shortage.

Frederick B. Wells, vice president
of F. H. Peavey & Co., said no de-
cisiOn was reached at the conference
at Minneapolis of Chicago and Min
neapolis bankers with representatives
of the company as to the course to
be followed with reference to the af-
fairs of the Peavey Grain company
Of Chicago.
Although the loss was given out in
2 public statement as $1,000,000 it
was stated that it would reach be-
tween $1,2O0,00O and $1,50O,0O0. The
sessions Of the conference are behind
locked doors in the Peavey offices on
the third floor of the Chamber of Com
merce. All information, it was an,
nOunced, would come through Fred
erick B. Wells of F. II. Peavey & Co.
The question under discussion is
what is to he done about shortage
Of the Peavey Grain company, which,
Mr. Wells said, is about $1,000 900,
The shortage is due to notes f10ated
by the late James Petit, who was
president Of the Peavey Grain com
pany in Chicago, and who, it is said
used the cOmpany's paper in his per-
sOnal grain speculation.
Morris tribune., 1911-07-14
News Of Especial Interest to
Minnesota Readers.
FREIGHT RATES GIVEN BOOST
Advance May Mean an Increase IN
Cost of Supplies to the Con-
sumers of the State.

Following the decision of Federal
Judge Sanborn Minnesota has started
paying an increase in freight rates
that probably will be felt by people in
every section Of the state. New tar
ifs issued and effective July 1 have
boosted the rates in some instances
as high as so per cent, while advances
of 33 1-3 per cent are common. In but
few instances are the old rates left
unchanged.
The 2-cent passenger rate and the
class freight rates were put in effect
in 1906. New commodity freight rates
were published, but enjoined before
being put into effect. The Sanborn
decision knocked out the 2-cent pas
senger rate and the class freight rate
and held confscatory the proposed
commodity rate, which had never been
put in effect. Accordingly the only
increase in rates effective now are
those applying to passenger and class
freight.
Through the application Of these ad-
vances in rates, sugar, canned goods,
meats, butter, eggs and most of the
fOOdstuffs shipped as merchandise will
cost the merchants more and in some
instances may result in advances in
cost to the consumer.
Morris tribune., 1911-07-14

Trapped
But There Were Two Traps
and One NeutraEzed
the Other
BY Della B. TllOms
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation, 1911.
'YVVYVVVVVVVVVVVV

My husband and ] had been work
ing for some time educating the peas
antry in Russia and had the good luck
to escape the police. Our work was
done by means Of matter written,
printed and distributed all in secret.
So long as we had no traitors among
us we felt comparatively safe. And
since we were all doing the work as
matter of duty the only danger from
traitors was that some spy should come
among us for the express purpose of
betraying us. The other dangers were
that the police should get word of our
depots of supplies or intercept the mat
ter while leaving our hands.
One day 1 went to the main depot to
get some matter ready for shipment.
The room was at the top of business
building, and l climbed the stairs with
Morris tribune., 1911-07-14
Not For Her.

A family noted for it's internal dis
sensions stood in such urgent need of
a maid that extraordinary privileges
were offered to the last girl interview
ed, yet Notwithstanding these conces-
sions she asked for day to think it
over In the end she declined to come.
"But why?" walled the distressed
mistress, 81 offered you everything.
I promised to treat you like one of the
family, yet you won't come"
mo" said the girl. that is why |
looked you up and found out how the
family are treated. New York Press.