La Junta tribune., 1911-03-25

~ tha, is going on In our
sister republic. Mexico. Fred. ] am
amazed at you, that you should be-
30 far behind the times. bu, IN for.
give you. II you won't do IL again. |
wish TO describe IL. first, because Il
is comedy and not tragedy. As war us.
ually is and, second. because wish
TO divert or switch off the attention
OF the public from the war zone"
In La Junta 10 the war zone" in
Mexico
The war in La Junta is chiefly
war of hot air or to be more pre-
else, dry air on one side and damp
air on the other II will probably
end APRIL lth. as did the battle OF
Dorkin. the report OF which conolud-
ed with these words Nobody killed
and nobody hurt" But the war In
Mexico will not end that Nay. FOR
there have already been falaligies.yes
fearful, monumental fatalities accord.
ing TO the Denver papers The var
In Mexico Is between the government
and the lusurreotos-calied patriots
Just 10 excite public sympathy These
iasurrectos are hybrid race. viz;
Indians. with just enough Spanish
blood In their veins 10 put the deyil
inio them They will neither work
nor 20 10 school. they will neither
fish nor cut bait. but loaf about
dives drinking mescal. which is the
Mexican word for whisky. When
their money is all gone and they
have nothing to cat-Why the govern
ment Is TO blame. Of course 50
dam and down with the government
Just Ike people in this country who
are too lazy to work and too I'm
provident to save. why is the gov.
crument. the government. ad iufin,
itum. al nauseum-
The MeNican's idea OF government
Is Just the same a. vas Pats idea
of government When asked What
his theory OF government vas he r.
piled
4 would have all the money in
the country put into one pile and
then would divide u equally among
all the people
why. Pat" said his friend, that
would not do you much good. for In
short time you would spend your
share for booEe and then what would
you do"
Why said Pat. then | would
divide again"
Well. the papers say that for
three months both armies have been
maneuyering Nov maneuyering Is a
military woFd and simply means.
getting ready Tor either fight or
a foot race. Now tn the civil war
1t never took either army over
three hours 10 maneuyer before a bat
tie. but In Mexico Il takes three
months for the same thing This
Is The first humorous thing about the
war In Mexico and / Wtsh the gen
tie reader would stick a pin here
for there il more TO follow.
Wen. af er they got through man.
euNering both armies met In a pitch
81 battle-the nrst Of the ~ar-on
March y. 1911 trcmcmbsr the daiel
a. small town called Aqua Prieis
Just across the boundary line and
about five miles south OF Douglas,
Aria The government had three
hundred troops and the rebels. or
patriots. had five hundred The bat.
tie lasted just one hour aud the
patriots got licked aud ncd TO the
mountains How sad' And Whcn the
smok. Of battle cleared away Il was
found thai there we're scysa Killed
on one aide and three on the other
whenee are We drlf,ings What arr
Ne ooming to- Oh. horror Of hor.
rors jus, before the battle began.
As per the Denver paPcrs. the Amer
leans In Douglas began a rush from
t1~~ ~ ~ h-aaAAAAf "
ands. mounting The house tops and
watching the r-b.l movements sith
field glasses, Au,omot lies s,ream.i
out from all Directions Soon the
entire ooantry from the American
customs hous. to tn. eastern out.
skirts OF the city was a solid pha.
LAM Of sixhi-.ecrs ON. paper says
there we're sin thousand and another
paper says seven thousand.
Nov IL they could have gotten
these au,oinobiiists into q Och, there
might have been . fixht ,ha, wAs
at least halfway respectable. II I
had . easiIron dog ON my front porch
vho would not laugh o, such . fixh'