Douglas Island news., 1911-11-08
Millions in It.
Editor Donelas Ialand News:

 Editor Douglas Island News:
 Dear nd:-Having read your valuable paper for number of years without paying any subscription, l feel grateful to you, and knowing that grate- fitness will not patch the editors panSs or fill his stomach, hereby offer you and your friends a chance to get rich quick. You and your friends can't buy stock too quick, for it costs absolutely nothing to speak of, compared to the millions in it, so get in on the ground floor. For mine, I intend to be the promoter, and introduce these schemes all over the world on basis of the honor and a percentage of one six teenth of one per cent, and digger" that in five years can retire with honors and have millions.
 Now, to business. You and everyone know that at a conservative estimate, that there are one million humane so- cieties in the world. Now, by guaran- teeing nice, quiet home until death' we can secare cat from each society. That will give us a million cats, valued con servatively at S5OO,OOO, or four bits, each, and costs, to us, practically noth ing. Not wishing to throw cold water on Dr. DamouRette's Sar scheme, 1 wish to state that this scheme cf mine is easier Do get in on than his, for mine is practically costing 0, while his cost 5. The next thing we must think of is a location. Having been there for some time, I think Turner lake would be an ideal place for our plant, as it Is full of fish. and we could put in more. The government woald give us the site. for the lay out, for they have stated their willingness 10 give land for rais ing fur before, and they want some more hatoheries, ard could locate along side of us, and they charge noth- ing for young fish, we could keep the lake stocked, giving us a location and food for our stock for nothing. You see the fish would live mostly on what they get from the water: we feed the fish to the cats, and in turn throw the carcass of the cats back to the fish. Therefore, no cost to us for feed for our stock. Water and air, as scien- tists know, furnish percentage of all things that world be ours-namely, the hides from the cats, and the guts
 from the same for fiddle strings Hay you begun to see the enormous profits from this industry on a large scale.
 We could establish home for super annuated printers, and each month hold a cat skinning contest, giving as a prize, few cat skins. There it is again-no cost for skinuing. Of conrse, the printers love company, and we could establish another home for old maids-and anyone knows bow all old maid loves cat. So our cats would have loving care for nothing. Philan- thropists would furnish the money to maintain the two homes Nothing agin, sac.
 Old maids, being very industrious, could make up the hides into fur gar ments known as the "Taku Sable,' and if these garment were handled by a Jew they ought to bring at least s a skin. Taking out our travelling sales. mems and the dealers profits, there would be at least one. half left for us. Now cat has on an average nine i kittens twice year, aGd if we in. creased our stock so that we could slaughter million cats day we would have an income of half million day, which ought to satisfy the stockhold CTS, if they are not hogs.
 Dear editor, have lain awake nights to get up this scheme. and I hope you and your readers will grasp the oppor-