davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
SHAVING IN ITALY.
The Barber Must Have Used a Cross
cut Saw on This Victim.

cut Saw on This Victim.
Italy may be the land of the flea, but
it is not the home Of the shave
The BARRIERS there are generally re-
cruited from the ranks of the butchers
or the medical students. They must
be able to stand the sight Of blood.
In the early days of medicine ply
sicians called In BARRIERS to do their
bleeding for them.
In Italy a physician now does his
own bleeding-if he visits barber
shop first.
Everything is done In an orderly
manner in the Latin kingdom. The
man who yearns to open a tonsorial
parlor appears before the municipality
to request his license. No influence is
required. He does not have to have a
pull. No, he cultivates that later.
"Are you qualifedT' demand the city
fathers.
"Signori," responds the applicant re-
proachfully, "does not my father own
a horse, and have l not curried 1t
every Sunday? Besides, have worked
in the stockyards."
"Bene," reply the license givers.
You are indeed suited in every way.
Here are your shaving papers. Go
forth and scrape acquaintance with
the strangers within our gates, but cut
only distant acquaintances. To cut
your friends is bad form and bad for
EN-"
Then, If the happy neophyte has
the tin, he opens up dssecting par
Tor The tin Is necessary for razor
blades.
One Italian traveller was heard to
remark: 81 now believe that the mar
tyr st. Luke was skinned alive.
know the man who skinned him. He
shaved me this morning" Twelve
good men and true looked at his face
and then gave their verdict. He was
a truthful man.
When q customer enters an Italian
barber shop he is escorted politely to
an operating chair. The back of the
chair is stationary, but the headrest
lets down to a remarkable degree.
The result Is that while the applicants
hips and knees are bent to an angle
Of ninety degrees his neck stretches so
that his head makes an acute angle
with his back, his chin pointing direct
ly at the ceiling. 1t requires long prac-
tlce for stout gentlemen to become
comfortable in this position.
Then the operator dips his brush in
Ice water and brushes it lightly across
the soap. He then, with playful air,
dampens his customers beard as IL
to say, This Is really unnecessary.
but l yield to the prejudices Of a stran-
GER" No, he never rubs the soap in
he might produce a lather. Then
comes the major operation. Afterward
the face is washed with a shaving
brush full of cold water. and then the
powder is applied; no. not talcum pow
der-powdered alum.
When the damages have thus been
temporarily repaired the victim raises
his head-if he Is still able-and has a
coat of brilliantine applied to his hair.
He then totters home and. after his
wife has tainted at sight of him, re-
solves to raise mustache. sideburns.
galways and full beard. The barber.
meanwhile having washed up the
gore, seats himself In front OF his shop
and smiles benignly on the passerby.
No, Italy is not the land of the shave.
although it may be the home Of the
nea.-New York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
RELIC OF ANTIQUITY.
The Seal That is So Often Used on
Legal Documents.

The Seal That is So Often Used on
Legal Documents.
A most absurd thing connected with
legal business is the little piece of red,
greea or blue paper or daub of sealing
wax which we often place at the end
of 7ature to a deed. will or other
document
very small thing in size. but
one TO which a great Geal of impor
tauce is frequently given. 1t is relic
of antiquity, and no plausible excuse
can be invented for continuing its use.
Some of the more progressive states
have practically abolished its use by
legislation, which deprives it of any
technical legal significance In others,
however, it is still used with all Sc
rlousness and solemnity, ard an al.
most magical value is given to it by
digniied judges that is little less than
ridiculous.
A man died years ago leaving part
of his estate to another to enjoy while
he lived, with the privilege of devising
1t at his death to others whom he
might select by a writing under his
hand and seal" A writing was exc
cuted so devising the property. but it
was contested by others claiming the
property upon the technical ground
that the paper contained no seal after
the signature and the devise was
therefore void.
A wise Philadelphia Judge closely
scrutinized the signature and after
carefully listening to the arguments
Of lawyers decided that at the end of
the signature there was an extra
scroll or flourish made with the pen
with which the signature was made
and that this was sufficient in law to
constitute seal.-Case and Comment
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

An ingenious person has discovered
that the three most forcible letters in
our alphabet are n X G (energy,, that
the two which contain nothing are Nj
Il (empty. that four express great cor
pulence. o II c Il obesity; that two
are In decline. ID X decay; that
four indicate exalted station. y l. N
G (excellencyl. and three excite our
tears. yet when pronounced together
are necessary to good understanding
Il E G (elegy and leg,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
MANNED CERVANTES.
Bravery In Battle of the Famous
Author of "Don Quijote."

An incident of the battle of Lepan-
70 which broke the power of the
Turks in Europe. has an interest Tor
students of literature. In the Mar
ouesa galley"-we quote from Com
mander Currey's Sea Wolves In the
Mediterranean"-"w lying in his
bed. sick of a fever, a young man
twenty-four years of age Spaniard
of Alcala de Henares, t.e S3n OF hon
orable parents, we are told, although
these parents were poor When this
Young man heard that a battle was
Imminent he rose from his bed ana
demanded of his captain, Francisco
San Pedro, that he should be placed
in the post of greatest danger. The
captain and others, his friends, coun-
seled him to remain in his bed.
'Senores,' replied the young man,
what would be said of Miguel de
Cervantes should he take this advice?
On every occasion up to this day on
which his enemies have offered battle
to his majesty | have served like a
good soldier, and today | intend to do
so in spite OF TINS Sickness anu IeNer'
He was given command of twelve sol
diers In a shallop and all day was to
be seen where the combat ragged most
flercely. He received two wounds In
the chest and another which cost him
the loss of his left hand. To those
to whom he proudly displayed them in
after years he was accustomed to say,
Wounds in the face or the chest are
like stars which guide one through
honor to the skies OF him the chron-
icler says, Tie continued the rest of
his life with honorable memory of
this wonderful occurrence, and, al
though he lost the use of his left
hand, it added to the glory of his
right. How glorious was that right
hand is known to all readers of Ell
Ingenioso Hidalgo Don Quijote de la
NIopobo
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
AFTER THE TEMPEST.
The Genial Calm That Settled Over the
Pretty SchooIma'am.

A pretty schoolma'am once taught
school in Long leland village All
thu young fellows for miles around
ma'am was proud. and none Of the
boys seemed to stand the ghost Of
chance.
Young Jim Brown. the judges son,
was the best looking chap in the
town. and Jim probably loved the
schoolma'am more than any of her
other SWANS, but he never had the
pluck to declare himself He felt too
small and mean before the beauty and
learning Of the scboolma'am But one
day, the schoolma'an being away on
q visit in New York state, Jim asked
advice of the editor. The editor said:
Take the bull by the horns and in
sert an announcement Of your forth
coming marriage in my society col
umn. II will cost you only so cents
So Jim inserted an announcement to
the effect that the schoolma'am and
he would be married the next month
and would spend their honeymoon at
Atlantic City
Well n short time after this an
nouncement appeared the schoolma'am
came back home Jim heard on all
sides how furious she was. For sew
eral days he kept away from her.
Then one afternoon as she was COM
ing home from school he ran plump
into her In the lane.
She let him know at once what she
thought of him and his outrageous
conduct She stormed and raved, and
her pretty eyes flashed fire. Jim stood
first on one foot and then on the 9th
er, and finally he blurted out:
"Well. II you don't like 1t ! can have
the announcement contradicted."
"Oh. bother 1t" said the school
ma'am. ITS too late now."-Wash-
ington Star
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

Negotiations by the Lambertville
Business League with Philadelphia
parties seem quite likely TO result in
the location of another prosperous
mandatory in this city. The con
Germ is to manufacture toilet soaps,
powders, creams and other toilet
articles and desires to locate at once.
They ask for gift OF building site
and the loan of small sum of money
on ample approved security. A
committee from the league has given
the parties a careful investigation, and
at a meeting recently decided they were
warranted to make proposition, which
if accepted, as they expect 1t to be,will
mean an mediate appeal for a sufficient
amount of local capital to finance the
industry in its start
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
Cnoknhv ChiualrX.

There was II crush In the pit, and the
anaemic looking girl stood with tho
late Corners behind the last bench.
The young man In front of her, COM
fortably seated, was not too absorbed
In the musical comedy to note that
the girl looked tired as she doggedly
stood out the first act He rose when
the curtain fell. would you" he asked,
pushing past her, like to mind my
seat while go out for drink The
age of chivalry is not London
Chronicle.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
A Request.

II shall never forget" says the emil
nent man of wealth during the course
of his little speech on How to Become
as | AM" II shall never forget how l
saved my first hundred dollars"
At this juncture weary individual
In the audience. who has heard this
story many times and has read 1t
many times more. interrupts:
"Well. II you can't forget 1t, for
heavens sake give the rest of us a
chance to."-Chicago Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

II Is hard to believe that Il shadow
Is probably the origin of all astronom-
zeal, geometrical and geographical sci
ence The first man who fixed his
staff perpendicularly In the ground
and measured its shadow was the ear
Hest computer Of time, and the Arab
OF today who plants his spear In the
sand and marks where the shadow
falls is his direct descendant. 1t Is
from the shadow of n gnomon that the
early Egyptians told the length of the
year. 1t Is from the shadow of gno-
mon that the inhabitants OF upper
Egypt still measure the hours of work
for water wheel. In this case the
gnomon Is lhurra stalk supported on
forked uprlghts and points north and
south East and west are pegs in the
ground evenly marking the space OF
earth between sunrise and sunset. In
a land of constant sunshine shadow
was the primitive chronometer. 1t
was also the primitive footrule.-Lon-
don r. P.'s Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
His Nav of Gettina Even.

"You know that fellow, Jim NEGRO
arty the lad that's always comm up
an thumpin' We on tn chest and yellin'
How aer YEP"
81 know him"
an bet he's smashed twlnty cigars
for me--some o thin clear Havannys-
but I'll get even with him now"
How will We do It'll"
"I'll tell we. Jim always hits me
over the vest pocket where carry me
cigars, He'll hit me there just once
more. There's no cigar In me vest
pocket this mornin Instead OF 1t
there's stick of dynamite, dye
mindr-Cleceland Plain Dealer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

Insist on yourself; never initiate.
Your own gift you can present every
moment with the cumulative force of
whole life's cultivation, but of the
adopted talent of another you have
only an extremporaneous, half pos
session. That which each can do best
none but his Maker can teach him.
Where is the master who could have
taught Shakespeare? Where is the mas
Ter who could have instructed Frank
lin or Washington or Bacon or New
TONI Every great man is unique. Do
that which is assigned to you and you
cannot hope too much or dare too
much Emerson.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
Help For the Elsotrinian-

Ii you are ever puzzled in working
with electric wires as to which is posi-
i've and which is negative or whether
the current is alternating there is no
SIMPLER method than the use of a po-
tato Cut the vegetable in half and
insert the ends of the wire into the
fresh body. About the positive wire a
green stain will at once appear, due to
dissolved copper. If the current is al
ternatng the ends of both wires will
De surrounded by dark colored stains.
Chicago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
Highest Prices
paid for old
Iron s. Rubber

l am building up business propo,
sition that good prices, SPOT CASH and
absolutely square treatment are bound
to bring the business Of a great many
people with whom wish to deal. lhiS
policy has attracted scores OF dealers,
factories and farmers to bring me their
Junk from all parts of the country
They know ty experience that do as
| say. am now paying good prices tor
Scrap Iron 45c q sue per ioo
pubhar Roots & Shoes 7c lib
Mixed Rags 94e 10
Bones soc s 60c per 100
Big prices for anything in my line
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
A Strauss Story.

A French contemporary tells a
piquant story of the composer of "Sa'
lone" He was dining one night with
a party OF musical friends when the
conversation turned on the compost
tons of the kaiser. Some OF the
guests had expressed their opinions
pretty freely when Herr Strauss put
his finger To his lips and said; "Sh-sh!
You should never run down the com
positions of crowned heads In com
them"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
Whittier's Safequard

when an overtimid visitor from the
city once commented to the poet Whit
tier upon the insecurity that seemed
inseparable from so many doors open
ing out from all sides of the large old
country home the master of the house
strove gently to restore confidence by
pleading that most of them were lock-
ed at night.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
THEY LIKE PRISON LIFE.
A Class of Persons In Japan Who Try
to Break Into Jail

A Class of Persons In Japan Who Try
to Break Into Jail.
In Japan there are people who make
sham confessions In order to obtain a
period of the comparative warmth and
comfort of Japanese prison. The
Japan Mail says: THE police slang
of the capital has words to describe
and distinguish these persons. 'Meshi-
kul,' or the rice criminal. will steal
some small article from n shop front
IN such n way as to be seen doing It,
He then makes bolt of II. pursued by
the master of the shop. or some faith
full kozo, but presently allows himself
to be caught and handed to tho pc
lice. He has to do time for his pre-
tended theft, but his rice is secured
for a period. and when that period has
elapsed he will allow himself to be
caught again
"The 'unandon.' or eel bowl criminal,
Is wilier than the one just mentioned
He does not actually commit a crime,
such as will put him into the convict
side of the prison. but allows himself
to be found looking In suspicious
places. underneath the broad verandas
of a temple, or In the garden of pri-
vate house. He gets into prison all
right. but he secures the more generous
treatment of the house of detention,
which Is to the fare of the convict Jail
what dish Of cells Is TO bowl of
plain rice
"The kuruma' is criminal who
makes sham confession In order to
sneak a free railway ride. The Asasi
tells Of a case connected with muir.
der, known rs the 'decapltated corpse
case. which took place last year. \
man gave himself up to the police In
Sendai as the perpetrator of the crime
He was brought to Tokyo and his story
Investigated 1t was found to be n
pure fabrication.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

This was after the quarrel. II can
never forgive you." he cried Last
night you said I was lobster"
'But you know" she replied. and her
tone was conciliatory-"you know how
dearly love Holsters"
With glad cry he folded her to his
breast.-Philadelph Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

From some cause not explainable,
many OF the subscribers to The REC
ORD have failed to receive copy Of
the paper during the last months. We
hope that all snch will notify MS at
once aud we will guarantee that the
complaint will not be like the old
English proverb "in one ear and ont
the other"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
Individuality.

To each intellect belongs n special
power We belong to ourselves and
we lose control of our own when we
try to be some one else The original
mind Is magnetic center for the
attraction of other minds But the
lodestone loses nothing by attraction;
II remains the same. - London New
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
A Friendly Tip,

Sapleigh- Would you-er-advise me
to-er-marry Il beautiful girl or SEN
slble girl? Hammersley-rm afraid
you'll never be able to marry either,
old man. Sapleigh-Why not? Ham
mersley Well, beautiful girl could
do better and sensible girl would
know better.-Exchange
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
SHERIFF'S SALE

ny virtue of several writs Of Fl Fa ia
nohls et terrls 90 me directed, issued ont ~
1 It. New Jersey supreme Court on DocEated
gpuegfiements there will be exposed to sale AZ
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 9Th, 1911
between the hours Of twelve and Ave in ia
afternoon, 70 wit; at two o'clock, at the To,rs
rouse, IN bennington, in the County ~ Hnrt
terdon and state of New Jersey All fbat ~. on
or parcel of land and premises herei.nsst ttet
particularly described, situate, lyinS snd W ~
ing m the CITY Of Lambertville, In The Von,,t,
81 hpnterdon and State of Nav 1a 9ua,S
bounded and described as follows, viz eiseS'
All that brick dwelling and barn ana /.
ana az the North West Corner Of Bridca. oa "
Ma,n streets, fronting 81 feet on Bridga e ~
sho one hundred and seventy-fve fse. o. D.,
IA street, be the same more or less BeiDn
ne q same premises Of which Stephen r Wonrss
aleq seized and by his last will and
ueSlssd 20 his daughter, Josephine + Monra
anu OF which she died seized and intesto.ee'
hallng lntermarried with George r EaIiass'
ana ma me sad Samuel NJ Kelar, being her sa,,
seized as the property Of Samnel s. NJ u,
laI anu taken in execution al the sn;, he 81
Ahomas Foster and others, and sold by sun OF
Frank n las A.. GEO. f. GREEN,
Sheriff
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
A Matter of Business.

81 cannot understand, sir. why you
permit your daughter to sue me for
breach OF promise. You remember
that you We're bitterly opposed to our
engagement because wasn't good
enough for her and would disgrace
the family"
young man, that was sentiment;
this Is business"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

At teachers conference one of the
school principals rose to propose the
toast. Long live the teachers"
And meager. pallid assistant in
structor in n hollow voice asked, "On
what Y'-Ladies' Home Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
Abuse.

Abuse is not so dangerous when
there is no vehicle of wit or delicacy.
no subtle conveyance. The difference
between coarse and refined abuse Is
as the difference between being bruis-
ed by club and wounded by a poi
soned arrow.-Johnson.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
All They Could Find.

whats all that noise In the next
room?'
MY wife and three of her girl
friends are trying to play whist with
only forty cards in the pack
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
Its Resemblance.

Ibid the man whose auto was In col
aminstion?"
at sounded that way sir Balti-
more American
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
A Goal lie Had Never Reached.

"You are the greatest inventor in the
world" exclaimed n newspaper man
to Alexander Graham Bell.
"Oh, no. my friend, I'm not" said
Professor Bell. i've never been a
reporter "-Ladies' Home Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
Financial Worries.

so your debts are bothering youY
YES"
walking the floor because you can't
pay emp
NO; because can't make 'em any
larger. Exchange.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
Plain Talk.

"Shave." said the crusty person la
conically.
"Close?" inquired the barber.
"No. I'm not close, but I'm not In
the habit Of giving tips If that's what
you're driving at
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
nnasn,t Eeed Than

Slimm-our landlady says she likes
to see her boarders have good appe-
titles. Smart-Well. some women are
naturally cruel.-Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
Willinn 10 comnromise.

Didn't you promise never to do that
again."
"Yes, father"
And didn't | promise to whale you
good II you didn'tr'
Eyes, but | broke me promise and
won't hold you to yours" - Toledo
Blade.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
What Did She me,n9

shop Assistant Ito purchaser of wild
ow's bonnet-Would you like to try it
On before the glass, madam? Gus
tomer-No. thank you, miss. 1t amt
Tor me. | wish 1t was.-Stray Stories.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

He who reigns within himself and
rules preIudices. desires and fears is
more than king Milton.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

Advice Is not disliked because II ~
advice. but because So few people
know how to give It Leigh Hunt.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

The future is purchased by the pres
ent.-Johnson.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
THE MORRIS COUNTY
SAVINGS BANK

NORRIS TOWN, M j.
74th Semi.Annual Dividend Notice
The Managers of this Bank have ordered PAID
from the earnings of the business for the
Six Months Ending Dec. 3lst. 1910
to the depositors entitled thereto under the
Bylaws, a semi-annual interest dividend as
follows
list At the rate of FOUR per centum
per annum on all accounts from $500
to 81, 600 and on the first $1,000 of An
all larger accounts.
end. At the rate of THREE per cen
tum q per cent? per annum on the ex-
cess of $1,000
Payable on and after Jan, nth, 1911.
Correspondence solicited.
Bank open daily from 9 a. m. to 3 ..
m. except on Saturdays and Holidays.
On Saturdays from a. IN. to 1s O'Clock
noonl
PHlLANDER B. PERSON. President.
HORACE G. WOLFE. Sscy and Treas.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27
A Reliable
Remedy
Ely's Cream Balm

- quickly ABSORBED.
Gives Relief a, Once.
It eleanses, soothes,
heals and protects
the diseased mem.
brane resulting from,
CataIrh and drives
away a Cold in the
Head quickly. Re-
stores the Senses of
Taste and Smell. Flu
gists or bv mail T.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

80. -. L. N-lleI,' III size 90 cts at Drno-
g g, on 6y mail In liquid form * ca .a
Ely brothers, 90 Warren Street New S VOWS
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1911-01-27

CALVIN SOLLIDAY, President
JOHN @. HOLC0MBE, FiOe President
FRANK A. PHILLIPS. Cashier.
W. s. HULSHIZER, Asst Cashier
WILLIAM L. WILSON, Teller