davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-11-16
~ y b 49, Z fEI's3 \ ], -
fUNNYGRAMS
(ey "Mc."l .
by "Mc.")

1t was a dark and stormy night, the
rain fell in torrents as the train pull.
ed into the lonely station. The bell
was ringing wet, (eh?) and when the
train stopped. lonely man got off
the train and sneaked away between
the freight cars on the other side Of
the train.
Not leaf stirred, when suddenly
he heard an ominus click and a quick
command. Glarlng into the muzzle
of the cops gatling. he spat upon the
ground and then Kissed "Thcy say
Marietta Hotel. but did she?" Il
They cop gasped he looked foolish
then wise. and at last saw light. Say
you're the Funnygram Editor, amt
yuh? y
II water lilies bloom in June, when
Will Geo. Lilly bloom? VI 4.
No, you boob, these amt Mus
graves Musings. They are McCatfer-
TVS Musings. All right. cap, let her
go.
l made the boss what he is to-day,
but what credit do I get?
All the worlds a stage. but my,
what n chorus OF supes are required.
I'd rather have. a bank roll the size
OF shoe string than heart as big
as an OK. s.G..
Opportunity knocks at every mans
door, but she never picks the lock.
If the compass broke, could West
Point? u
II. you wanted to know what kind
of a. character man had, could J. r.
Judge?
Speaking Of winter coming on.
Black undressed kids are theg latest
lin 'gloves). Y ~ {y'8 4
Oh. Fireman. save my carnival bad
sc. " n
Latest report from the Funny.
gram Editor in China. II Admiral
Togo were to Pekin China, would he
Celon?
If car weighs several tons, how
much would the subway?
If dog hunts, can cat fish?
II church bell tolled would the
Watson Hotel? (Handed ln). '
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-11-16
AGENT BRAND
, CONTINUED from page one). !

note,to be given to the mine superin.
tendent. and hopes that that will set,
tie the matter. but Mr.. Brand will sec,
that the boy gets to 90 to some other
place In the town to stay, and also
that he gets the money Which right.
fully belongs to him. sysa:s So ay,
The writer and many others who
heard the boys story cannot help but
think that the boys OF the United
States would have but little ambition
TO work;at all II they are not to get the
money for the labor which they per-
form. ia
Any one can readily see that the boy
could get along just as well without
working at all. II the father does not
allow him to have the money which
he earns. x
All5who heard the boys story were
in sympathy with him. and ifSpeace Is
not made between father and son to.
day, the boy intends to returnlto this
city in the morning and swear out a !
warrant against his father, having the
matter settled before the squire v
~
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-11-16
Poet Philoso pher
.WAITlNG.

seems TO- me I'm always waiting something
TIL skating
IN winter am sadly waiting until
ahd wny weather I'm beratng rusy tongue sore
done wait for dinner then;
GER walt the timer
my youth hated and longed grown
ior which waited and gladly And
III death mmures crates also
serves, me pard assures who hangs waits
oss: ssa ~. * Ok le4o.,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-11-16

II a dog hunts. can cat fish?
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1911-11-16

II a church bell tolled would the
Watson Hotel? (Handed ln).
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Plan to Make One Town In the East
the Only Fiyless City in the
Whole United
States.
PROFESSOR HAS PLAN
People Urged to Kill the Adam and
Eve Flies in Their Homes and
That Will Settle the
Question.

WORCESTER, Mass. Feb. 16.-Dr.
Clifton F. Dodge, professor of biology
at Clark University, told an audience
In the assembly hall in the college
building that he is planning to make
Worcester sliyless city"
He has practical plan to get rid
of house flies, which spread typhoid
fever and other diseases. He proposes
to educate people in this city to CO.
operate with him and will start on his
campaign of prevention as soon as
flies begin to appear in the spring.
Students will assist him and be as
signed to different fields. One will be
assigned to dairy, another to a
barn, and every breeding place for
| the insect pest will be under surveil-
lance.
"The chief feature in the American
"has been the invention and manufac-
ture of the web and wire screen or
netting, into which it is possible, at
an estimated expense Of $10,000,D00
annually to shut ourselves in jail
through the summer, while we yield
the wholesome out-of-doors to the en-
emy. Then we have devised disagree
able and expensive poisons, fly spat
tiers and sticky paper.
Here is the crux of the whole mat
ter. The first community in which ey
I cry member is intelligent enough t
4 realize the enormous power Of repre-
duction of single pair of flies viii
from that time forth be free fron
flies and will remain SO as long a
the level of general intelligence il
maintained. The universal difficult.
has been that there will be someon'
who cannot think this equation of in
crease and will say, 20, never nin'
these few. They cannot do any harm.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
COOK WILL OPEN
POLAR CONTROVERSY
Speaks for Charity at Des Moines
Next Week and viii Probably
start Something.

DES MONIES, Feb. 16.-The Peary-
Cook controversy is expected to
break out in all it's vitriolic force
when DR.. Frederick A. Cook. arctic
explorer and alleged discoverer of the
north pole. delivers his address at the
auditorium here Feb. %, under the
auspices of the Press Club Of Des
Moines. Cook makes the statement
in q letter to members of the club
that Peary refused to bring back to
America the man he left on guard
over his property in the far north
until he had given to Peary $4,000
worth of furs and ivory which Cook
says we're his property. Cook says
Peary added insult to injury by pre-
senting one of the choice pieces oi
ivory worth $1,000 to Colonel Roose-
Welt. saying 1t was secured by the
Peary party on the trip back from the
pole.
DIR. Cooks lecture will be for the
benefit of charity, and in his letter oi
acceptance of the invitation he pays
! his respects to the rocking chail
geographers who say his claims are
not good. His lecture will be Illus
| trated with views of the far north.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
PUBLIC MEETING !:
Next Monday

In conformity with the
resolution passed at the
Public Meeting held Jan
uary 18th, l9l ! a Public
Meeting is hereby called to
meet at the County Court
House at 7:30 P. NJ, on
Monday, February 10th,
1911, to hear and ap-
prove, or reject, the report
Of the Committee Of Thirty
appointed by the under
signed, BY authority Of the
resolution adopted by the
Mass Meeting held January
| 18th, 1911.
WILLIAM LOGAN
]. F. ELDER
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
FIFTEEN HURT
IN RAILWAY WRECK
Engineer ,Hennick Was Killed When
Passenger Train Fan Into
Coal Cars.

JACKSONVILLE, Ill.,, Feb. 16.-A
west-hound passenger train on the
Baltimore and Ohio railroad ran into
an open switch last evening at Phil
adelphia, H.. twenty miles north OF
this city, which resulted in the death
of Engineer Oscar Hennick, of
Springfield, and injuries to fifteen
passengers. The train ran into a
string of empty coal cars and when
the crash came both engineer and fire.
man jumped, the engineer landing on
the rails of the main track, death en-
suing instantly. Conductor Post had
his hand badly bruised and one finger
broken.
The passengers were given medical
attention by the Philadelphia ply
sicians. They were detained for four
hours until the wrecker from Spring
! field cleared the tracks. q is the sup
position that the crew of an extra
| freight, east bound, preceding the pas
senger two hours, had forgotten to
close the switch.
Among the injured, the following
are reported:
Fireman, name not learned: Charles
Davis, mayor of Virginia; A. R. Tay
lor and Rev A, W. Denny, of Vir
ginia; Rev. Mr. Williams, of Boards
4 town None of these were seriously
! injured. The engine of the passenger
train was turned completely over.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
standpatters Immensely Enjoy the
Situation and Are Helping All
They Can to Defeat
Measure.
CHAMP CLARK's SPEECH
Utterances Of Missouran Seem to
Add Just the Proper Touch to
the Sensation of
Politics.

WASHINGTON, Feb. 16.-Recipro-
city may be defeated by the speech
of Champ Clark President Taft issued
notice that annexation is not thought
of in the proposed measure and
Champ Clark has repeatedly said
that he voiced only his own private
opinions in his spread eagle speech
which has aroused Canadians and
Great Britain.
Meanwhile the standpatters, oppos-
ed to the treaty are enjoying the stu
alton and doing all they can to keep
UP the trouble. Some Of them say that
the prophecy made two days ago in
congress has come true, it being the
statement made by one of the repre-
sentatives who said: Il see that
President Taft and Champ Clark are
sleeping in the same bed. Let me
warn the republican president that
when he wakes up he will find that
he has been hobnobing with night
mare"
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Dog Kills Cow But Does Not Survive
Very Long After Having Won
the Victory in the
Stall.
BATTLED FOR AN HOUR
Terrier Took Dislike to Bull and
Made Attack Upon It at Tho
Very First op-
portunity.

NEW YORK, Feb. 16A fight to the
death between thoroughbred Eng
lish bull terrier and Holstein bull
took place at the stock farm of Eben
Grover, at New Durham. N. ].
The dog was perfect specimen Of
the breed and was valued at $3.50. 1t
took a dislike to the bull, $500 ami
NAL, Immediately after the latter was
brought to the farm week ago
At night the bull was placed in
large box stall. When an employee
opened the door the dog slipped in,
and in two seconds the fight was on.
The dog whirled about the stall
with lightning speed leaping at the
bulls throat with swapping teeth.
Twice the dog was pinned against the
wall of the stall by the horns of the
brute but finally by a quick spring
sank its teeth in the throat of the bull.
The great animal roaring with pain,
swung the little dog about and dashed
4 its body against the walls, but it
would not let go.
The battle had ragged for an hour
and Grover, with his sons, had enter
ed the stall twice at the peril of their
lives, when the huge bull sank to its
knees and toppled over dead.
! The dog. loosening it's hold for the
& stall and died within few minutes.
!, Growers right leg was badly torn BY
the dogs teeth.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
POPE BETTER
But ALARMING
Doctors Are Worried over His condi.
ton Although He Shows Some
Improvement Over
Yesterday.
THROAT rs INTLAMMED
His Holiness Takes His Sickness
cheerfuIly and Tells Doctors
He is Sorry to Wor-
ry Them.

ROME, Feb 16.The pope's fever
showed q slight improvement today
but the inflammation of his throat is
worse. Several doctors are in con-
sultation.
AT noon it was reported that the
pope's condition showed slight i'm.
provement. The greatest uneasiness
arose among the doctors over the
pope's advanced age, rs.
Pope Plus has had several sick
spells since he succeeded Pope Leo
He has been troubled with gout
many times. He takes his sickness
cheerfully and today asked forgive
ness of his doctors for causing then
SO much trouble.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
BREAK INTO JAIL
FOR ROBBERY
Masked Man Holds up Solitary Fris-
oner and He Notifies the
Police

WILKEsBARRE. Pa. Feb. le.- Two
masked burglars broke into the town
Jail at Warrior Run, Pa. and, bursting
open the door of the cell in which
Stanley Jandus, the only prisoner
was confined, robbed him at the
point of a revolver of s29.
The burglars tnen escaped and Jan.
dus, who was being held on a trivial
charge. finding himself free, went out
and notified the town marshal. Like
nearly all sucn places in small towns
the Jail was not guarded.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
DANVII,LE MEMORY
BECOMES EPIDEMIC
Few Hours In jail is Prescribed BY
the Court as An Absolute
Cure.

DANvILLE, H., Feb. 16.-With par
ty lines obliterated by the grand jury.
the election probe was continued TO-
day with the prospects that a number
of citizens who have contracted the
''Danville memory which is lack
Of memory, may languish in Jail to-
night.
The first witness tocsy was an cleo
ton clerk. Foreman woodward hauled
him before the Judge who ordered him
to answer questions or go to Jail.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
NAVARRO is
AFTER THE REBELS
Goes Down the Valley With Machine
Gun to Put Them into
Panic

Ell PAsO, Feb. 16.-Gen. Navarro
and thousand soldiers left Juarez
today with the determination OF wip-
ing all rebels out of the valley Nav.
AFRO says he intends to wipe out the
revolution at single blow and crush
the capital at Guadeloupe.
Navarros troops took machine
gun down the valley from Juarez to-
day. 1t is reported that rebels are
gathered in large numbrs at Guade
loupe
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Illinois Measure Provides for the De-
velopment Of Smaller Streams
of The Whole
state.
UNDER STATE CONTROL
Five Per Cent Of Gross Receipts Must
Be Paid by Power Con-
Germs TO the Com
mission.

SPRINGFIELD, Ill., Feb. l6.-De-
velopment Of the water power in the
streams of Illinois outside the route
of the deep water way project is con-
templated by bill introduced by
Representative Alfred N. Abbott OF
Morrison 1t gives the railroad and
warehouse commission control over
the utilities generated under the bill
and fixes compensation of 5 per cent
of the gross receipts upon power
concerns that may operate under me
act, exempting them from further
taxes
The measure does not apply to the
Economy Light and Power company
at Dresden Heights nor to any Of the
power houses in the reaches between
| Lockport and Utica and along the
Illinois river. It's avowed purpose is
/ the development of the smaller
/ streams and it bears the approval of
/ the railroad and warehouse commits
sion.
The provisions OF the Abbott bill
4 are:
Corporations organized to construct
| 8 dam or dams in any stream in the
4 state to improve navigation or to de-
velop water power or electrical en-.
ergy shall file with the clerk of the
county court an attested survey of the
proposed dam Or dams, reservoirs
a ponds, locks, bridges, power stations
conduits and transmission lines aud o1
the land that may be overfowed.
Such corporations are empowered tt
condemn property under the eminent
domain act.
Corporations obtaining power under
this act shall pay into the state
treasury per cent of their gross re
ceipts from the sale of power. Sucf
payment shall be in lieu of III state
municipal and other taxes.
The state treasurer Is vested witt
full power to examine the books ant
accounts of the corporation and tt
examine it's employees and others un
der oath. Persons swearing falsel.
when so examined shall be subjec
to the penalties prescribed for per
: jury.
., To enforce the act the railroad an,
e warehouse commission is given super
c vision over the construction an
e operation of all dams and locks tex
q cept in streams declared navigabi
e by the United States government
q bridges, power stations, roads, cor
t duits and transmission lines built III
b der this act.
O, The commission shall have fu
d authority to raise Or lower or ratif
h the rates charged for power by co
% porations operating under the act.
k The state expressly reserves th
$ right to require suitable locks wher
q. necessary for navigation
If The right is reserved to requit
. suitable fish ways in such dam {
e dams.
e Proviso:
The act shall not apply to al
ia stream In which the state may clai
If rights by virtue of the act reco
-s nizing the Illinois and Des Moint
ir PLANES as navigable streams or
-e virtue Of the $20,0o0.00O bond iss,
s. amendment to the constitution.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Democratic Mule, Dark Horse and In
sursent Charger Are Running
Neck and
Neck.
CLOSE AND EXCITING
Deemer 81, Kenyon so, Porter SO Was
the Result Of the Senatorial
Ballot Of
Today.

DIES MONIES, Feb. 16. Garst men
went to Deemer today on the twenty
fourth ballot in an effort to break
the deadlock, but it still continues.
The vote was as follows:
Deemer, 81.
Kenyon, so.
Porter, So
The initiative and referendum was
defeated in the house today by vote
of AZ to 5S. Democrats voted for it
and republicans defeated it. Only
eleven progressive republicans voted
for the measure.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
SCHOOL SYSTEM
VERY ROTTEN
Graft Found in Every Department,
Even in the Picnic Which
Are Held.

PITTSBURG. Pa, Feb. le.-The
biggest graft prosecution in Pitts
burg's history is impending today.
following the report of a committee
of the Voters League on the public
school system. Graft has been found
In every department in the erection
OF buildings, the employment of
teachers and even in school picnics.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
THE WEATHER.
Weather Forecast.

Until ZOO p. m, Friday.
For Keokuk and Vicinity Rain or
snow tonight and Friday.
For Illinois-Unsettled weather to-.
night and Friday with rain south and
rain or snow north portion.
For Towa-Rain or snow tonight
and Friday. Coder in west portion
tonight.
For Missouri Rain tonight and Fri
day Colder in west portion.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Panama Canal Bridge.

COLON, Feb 16.Th construction
of permanent highway and railroad
bridge over the Panama canal was
recommended today by the board Of en-
gineers. 1t Is proposed to make the
bridge 100 feet high above the water
SO that the largest vessels afioat can
pass under it
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
ONE ADVANTAGE
OF BEING RICH
Man With Money In His Pocket Has
Chance Of Not Being Killed
AZ Bullet.

NEW HAVEN, Conn, Feb. 16.-To
four small coins, dime, two nickels
and a quarter which were in his vest
pocket, Gulano Lavanture of this city
owes his escape from serious II not
fatal injury. According 10 his allega-
tion to the police, fellow workman,
Christiano Labagara, shot at nm
with revolver, but the bullet struck
the coins which happened to be piled
together In his pocket. The COINS
we're bent but aside FROM the slight
shock OF the impact, Lasvanture suffer-
ed no harm
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
CAT out of BAD.

LONDON, Feb. 16.-Little credence
is given to President Taft's disavow-
al of Champ Clark's Canadian annex
alton prediction by the conservative
papers. 1t is said that Clark has let
the cat out OF the bag. The newspa-
pers are warning Canada that reci-
procity means ultimate annexation
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
JOAQUIN Miller IN.

NEW YORK, Feb. 16.-Miss Juani-
ia Miller, daughter OF joaquin Miller,
the poet of the Sierras, left today for
Oakland. Cal, in response to a mes
sage that her father was i'll.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Prisoner Hanaed Himself.

MICHIGAN, Ind. Feb 16. Guards
found the body of Charles Smith, a
life prisoner hanging in his cell. He
was sentenced for killing his own fa-
ther and throwing the body in we'll
Smiths mother took charge of the
body.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Ralstno Bio Fund.

WASHINGTON. Feb. 16-In the
name of Justice and liberty halt
million dollars is being raised by la
Dor unions of the United States for
the Los Angeles fight. Contributions
are being received by Secretary Nor
rison from all parts of the country.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
kiIIed In Mine.

BUXTON, la. Feb. ls.--charles
Cross. colored, working in mine No.
IL, was killed by falling slate. He
leaves a wife and six children.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Crane as the Whip

WASHINGTON. Feb. 16.-senator
Crane was made whip today by Presi-
dent Taft to run the Canadian
reciprocity treaty through the senate.
Meanwhile Taft is excited over the at
titude OF England and Canada over
Champ Clark's speech.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Life ls EbbIno Fast.

OAKLAND. Calf, Feb. 16,-Joa,
quin Miller can live only few hours
the doctors say. He is suffering most
of the time.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Weather Conditions.

The pressure has increased from
the Northern Mountain Region to
the Atlantic Coast, forming large
field of high pressure. with it's crest
near New York City. the temperature
falling to below zero in Montana and
North Dakota, and remaining low in
the Northeastern states.
The southwestern area of low pres
sure has been forced southwark. and
forms marked depression in West
ern Texas. the area of rainfall in its
front extending from Arizona, through
Colorado and Kansas to the Upper
Mississippi Valley
Conditions indicate rain or snow for
this section tonight and Friday, fol-
lowed by colder Friday night.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1911-02-16
Local Observations

Mean temperature, Feb. 10, As.
Highest temperature, 80.
Lowest temperature, 36.
Lowest temperature last night. 80
FRED z. GOSEWISCH.
Observer
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
HOUSEKEEPING RuTs.

When are we to be emancipated
Grundy and the way mother used to
do? Mothers ways were good ways.
but conditions change. The laws
that in our fathers days We're good"
are not the laws for us; so we must
get out of the ruts and be able to
swing along on high ground
Is the old-fashioned Monday the
best day for washing or is it the day
that has always been used and so we
follow the procession? Tuesday is in
every way a better day, for if the
clothing must be picked up, looked
over. mended or stains removed, Sum
day is not the day for it. After tho
day of rest Monday comes full OF the
many things that We're left from the
week end. If the laundry work is
added to all the rest, it makes too
full a day. In homes where the day
Is used to get the clothing in condition
to wash, the work Is made much
lighter.
Must we always serve potatoes
with our dinner or every other meal?
Can we not occasionally break away
and get out Of that rut? Serve hom-
my fried bananas or boiled rice.
Do you have the same kind of des-
sert every week or two? There are
simply millions Of ways of preparing
desserts. Have variety, so that the
family do not tire of the same one.
We are always glad of finding an
old friend in a new dress. For those
who are fond of tripe, this recipe will
be acceptable: Cut rounds of tripe
with pail cover in rounds four or
five inches across. If it is picked, add
salt. pepper, olive oil and onion juice;
and ii 1t is not picked, little lemon
juice Let 1t stand an hour or longer
in this marinade, turning often. Then
broil delicately, lay on a plate and
butter the rough sides generously
Garnish with chopped parsley OF
cress, and serve two rounds to each
person.
When cooking lima beans, add q
seasoning of onion and teaspoonfu
of curry moistened with little lem
on juice.
Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1911-10-05
peoenerated.

Kid Mccoy, the hero of 1875 battles.
is to open a sanitarium at Stamford.
He said the other day to New York
reporter:
Il hope in my sanitarium to restore
lots of grumpy middle-aged people to
perfect health, and If give them back
perfect health I'll give them back
youth and gayety and romance. II mid
die age is stupid, II middle age is pro-
sale, it is only because the health of
middle age is poor.
The woman" he continued, "who
sends her grumpy mate to my estab-
lishment will no longer have to make
the bitter complaint of Mrs. Blank.
"'My husband, Is years ago. said
Mrs. Blank, used to kiss me every
time we passed through tunnel. But
now
"She gave a bitter laugh.
Now she said, he takes a long
pull at his travelling flask"