davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Mamie's Trolley Monologue

Wana see somepin' selfish, Belle? If
that funny-lookin' woman in black
would only hitch herself over a couple
of inches and put one end of that big
package on the floor, stead o holding
1t sideways on her lap. the meek
lookin' little duffer standin' there
starin' at her could sit down, too.
But no. She's comf'ta BILE. And she
knows If she rioved over and was
iammed in between a couple of men
she wouldn't be. and she wants to be.
So there she squats. and the meek
little duffer, not havin' the nerve to
pun his overCoat around him and let
her see hell perch on her knee if she
don't move over. stands and stares.
And the moral is, Belle: Selfish peo-
pie are most always -comf' table. If
only you've got the face to be selfish
enough. you can have most anything
in reason you want. and in just the
way you want it.
O. course, you gotta he built that way
to get any satisfaction out of it, he
cause if you amt and try to have
good time bein' selfish your ConsCienCell
keep calm yOu down so hard you won't
be able 10 appreciate the fun That's
the way il is with me. Belle. and some
times | wish I could be as selfish as
the rest Of 'em without feelin' my soul
Elippin' a couple Of nOtChes the other
way from heaven.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Confederate Government
Refu,es Big Bid, For Loans

Announcement is made that the con-
federate states government has re-
fused large bids of capitalists for the
million dollar loan, and adheres
TO the original plan of distributing it
among the people.
Decrease in the receipt Of cotton at
all southern ports. as compared with
last year, reaches 10000 bales. and It
is predicted that the crop will hardly
reach 100000 bales, owing to disturbed
conditions throughout the country.
Under servants for sale and hire"
column, a Richmond newspaper carries
this "ad:" For hire-A small mulatto
boy who is very handy in the dining
room He would be a very useful din
ing room or house servant to a gentle
man.
"A new company, styling themselves
the Independent Sons of the. South
has been formed in the past few days.
and is rapidly increasing in numbers"
SAYS the Petersburg correspondent of
Richmond newspaper. Tho company
is entirely composed of gentlemen who
are for resisting the rule of the black
Republicans and favor the union of Vir-
ginia with the south. Homespun is to
be their suit, and they will in no man
ner encourage the production Of north
ern manufacturers"
The Washington times., 1911-03-30

FTHIS is you that the truth-telling
glass reflects.
! 1850. You with the light in your
eyes! You with the red blood of your
young body flowing to make your
mouth look like a rose! You with
your cheeks so round and firm and
soft! You with the aureole Of your
hair framing your face! 81 -,
You are lovely. Even IL the ac-
cepted marks of beauty are not
yours there is a charm as indefinable
as the perfume from Glove, pinks,
sweet in its freshness and spicy fra
GRANGE. -. -
You are a girl. You are young.
Do you ever wonder why your blood
sends its bright flood TO your cheeks
and your lips? 1t might have gone to
your nose. Why is your hair long and
shining or shadowy as the light
touches it? 1t might have been stub
by and stiff. Why have your eyes the
light of stars and the flashes of the
sunlight? They could have seen as
we'll and been less lovely. i.s.-. - q.
( You are made to ATTRACT. No, not
other girls. Nature made you with a
selfish intention, the big and splendid
selflshness that Is her characteristic.
She made you to attract the man who
will help you to accomplish. her pur-
pose. 80
That is why you are lovely.
And the moment you let any other
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
He Hears About a
Dead One

fects Nature? Do you imagine that
she is diverted from her intention in
making you or thrown off from the
steady accomplishment of her pur-
pose?
Not for. one iota of an instant.
And she demands the best of you for
her work. She makes you pay cruelty
when you lend your body to vanity
and let It be abused so that 1t can
not serve its real use. She leaves
you with empty and unsatisfied heart
at the end Of long years that you
have given to aims that you mistake
enly believed higher than hers.
Your beauty and your brain will
reap their richest reward when you go
with the stream of Natures intent in
stead of fighting the current. You
may write great. books. You may
paint great pictures. But 1T will only
be through the knowledge and the
power, you gain by living all of life.
instead of dedicating your half-in-
formed mind, your half-formed heart
TO a career that does not consider
Natures plainly marked decree.
And you will be happiest when you
respond TO those other signals that
are attracted by the bright banners in
your cheeks, the beckontng beacon of
your eyes. They will flash from a
mans eyes.
You are beautiful and young and a
girl to win him.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Our Grocery Clerk
Says Money Tickles

Say, are my lips cracked? I've just
been laughing for the biggest end Of
an hour. 1 do it once a week. and It's
one Of my regular duties.
Did you ever hear of Boggs, old Boggs
that lives in that double-barreled brown
stone front around the corner? Well,
the old man made enough money to
keep him out of heaven manufacturing
carpet tacks. See the point?
Don't shoot, please. I'm liable to let
one of those slip any minute now. 1t
takes two days for the effect of old
man Boggs to wear off. Maybe you've
guessed by this time that the old mans
a humorist.
Well he's not, but he thinks he Is,
and he's got enough money to back \
up. He comes in here once a week and
orders enough groceries to stock a little
store, and I've got 1t straight from the
boss that If l let one of his almost
Jokes go by without laughing I can
shake day-day to my Job.
Some of 'em this morning were so bad
1 can remember them. When he came
In. for instance, was mixing %
pickles to keep item from losing theR
happy disposition.
..Stirrfng, stirring scenet" he croaks
in NV ear, and IL was my cue to dou-
bile up and laugh till the pickles blew
bubbles in disgust. -
Then he got one off that / don't see
how he can ever recover from. 1t was
sonething about peas bean green, what
r,onId lima bean? didn't wait for the
ond of II Just started to ha! hal once
more as II I'd swallowed a fish bone.
The old manH kNp on ordering as long
as. his jokes last.
And as soon as he goes l get the
.ca ashier to fan me for five minutes.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30

home but didn't back because knew you'd begin holer
took the time. tell it's the limit. If work like
forgetn tomool package and if Pm late you be-
! didn't home SUCH
"W were late enough getting home tonight anyhow John
Peeved interrupted Mrs Pcevcd You home
and whats wasn't the the
world wouldn't believe the till
"SilenCe madam roared Mr. Peeved That thing I
will stand from will have word doubted
will have integrity Amt the money
turn in sufficient that work like slave it, Don't
the home tired
paper prove that I'm done bending
tell madam, its outrage! An you talk
that
Believe the patient in I'd
home What's pleasure OF coming getting
rowed all the time: What's the of trying when woman
little hammer knock knock, knock, without letting
a read his paper peace?'
well, started it, said Mrs. Peeved, beginning
"You---"
pop interrupted youthful voice doorway heres
package Of coffee Mr. Smith said left the
the old lady would Cain she didn't brought
it along his way home"
Mrs Pcvcd looked her husband but he hurried away
furnacC.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Old Dominion Seethes
With Uneasine.s

The attempt to inhame the people
Of Richmond into revolution because
the government was called upon to
gay for some cannon contracted TO be
delivered at Fort Monroe has failed.
Col. Alfred NJ. Barbour has been noti-
fed that the guns will not be moved
Just now, and the probability is that
the Virginians will purchase them. The
Old Dominion is undoubtedly in an ex-
citable state. but when her citizens
exercise sober second thought they
will remain true to the union.
1t is said that no uneasiness is felt
by the commissioners from the southern
states either in regard to the evacuation
Of Fort Sumter or the reinforcement of
Fort .Pickens.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Save the Uniion"
Sung at Concert

The programs Of the concerts have
patriotic airs attached to them now.
The new patriotic hymn. Save the
Union" was given a great rendition
last night at the Jubilee concert, the
combined orchestra, chorus and solofsts
taking part in it.
Robert Hazlet. recruiting agent for
the southern army at Baltimore, took a
body of recruits south last week. He
has ow retsSned and opened his office
again.
Private advices received here from
persons who have been in constant at
tendance at the congress of the con-
federate states at Montgomery say
that the people in the south entertain
no idea of coming back into the union.
II is stated that IN agent of Gen.
eral Sam Houston is on Ms way
north to purchase arms and nuni-
tions of war Popular report says
that "Old Sam" is raising an army
of from three to five thousand men
in Texas and the adjoining states.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
The Woman and the
Lather; or, Why Not?

Little Godiva was playing in the CEN
ter of the floor. Perhaps it was not
the geometrical center, but It was
close enough to induce even the most
captious critics to forbear.
Beatrice Breakwater, the child's
mother. famous beauty, society leader,
and musician of note. stood grace
fully before her $4,000 mirror, which
had cost a small fortune, and put pin
here and a pin there to add to the
general effect.
Suddenly. with IAN ineXpressibly
agonized expression distorting her
classic features, which were COnsid-
cred one of the main attractions of
her face, she turned to the child.
',3IT," she said. "Bral boot siddidee
pHliT.'
Geraldine started up in amaze. She
more than started; she got up.
The famous beauty. society woman
and musician of notes had never had
a seizure like this before, and, nat
urally, the child, who but a moment be-
fore hal been playing in the center of
tho floor, was horrifed.
1creamlng, she ran for her father,
who was shaving his race IN an adJoln-
ing room nearby. White with lather and
fear, he burst slowly into his wife's
room. ..~
''Siffe'' she eXclsimed duly "Mruff
bluloo i'll staff"
My love-" cried Rreakwater Speak
to me! What is it?" The lather was
still on his face. --
With a sudden movement she opened
her mouth wide and let the hairpins
fall .-~.- ~.
Button me up the back" she
snapped.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Paragraphic Yarn
With a Real Moral

A sleek black cat started out for a
reveI on a midsummer's night. r.
He pranced up and down the back
fence half the night "ogling'' all the
pretty tabbies in the row.
Pretty soon the sleek black cat got
hungry. He made a canvass of all the
milk bottles on the steps. but found
them licked clean. =.
Death by starvation. seemed imminent.
The catf sat by the corner of the
house snacking his lips at the thought
of food. - -
Just then mouse ran from cover In
search of q piece of cheese.
The cats mouth was still wide open.
The mouse ran around the corner.
Z-z-z-z-ti,-
Moral
Catch as catch can is better than no
hold at all in the battle Of life.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Ship Nelson Arrives
With Firearms

Dispatches from New Orleans say
that there has just arrived at that port
the. ship Nelson, from Liverpool, having
on board a consignment of firearms
and munitions of war. sent as a pres
ent to the city OF Jackson, Miss, by
Mr.. James Smith, of Glasgow, Scot
land. The consignment contains twenty
five Quitman rifles, with sword bayo-
nets: one six-pounder gun, fifty rounds
of shot, twelve rounds of canister shot
and twelve canisters. Mr.. Smith is
Scotchnan who came to tlIs country.
resided several years in Jackson, and
then returned to his -sative land.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
The Northern View
March 30, Is01 (Saturdnyl

The president stands firm on his policy
not TO plunge the country into civil
war. He is winning good opinions by
his readiness to listen to all sides Of
the questions presented to him. This
holds true even in political appoint
ments.
II is understood that the further con-
sideration of diplomatic and consular
appointments will be deferred to give
place to the consideration of more i'm
portant matters
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
The Southern View
Mnrch 9O. 1se1 (saturday)

The new state constitution Of Georgia
provides that the governor shall have
been a citizen Of the confederate states
twelve years.
The Louisiana convention, just before
adjournment. adopts a resolution trans
ferring the public funds to the con-
federate states. A special act of the
convention abolishes the free banking
system and introduces the general char
ter system instead.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
SHE HOLDS 1T UP TO THE
Girl to Study Herself
Loretta's Looking Glass

idea than a willingness to obey her in
the best and most exalted way you
can, the instant you. begin to fight
against her, you become her victim,
The very air about us shakes and
-trembles with a thousand confusing
notions of what women are and mean.
Do you think any of the chaos af-,
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Look These Over
They Nav Strike You

The sea was rather rough that
morning.
"Oh. Ethel I feel positively des-
perate! Idon't care whether my hats
on straight or notr'
'Tm farther gone than that.
don't care who knows how old I am"
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
If You Want Gloom
Pass These Quickly

Il am to meet the duke at the dock"
But he has never seen you, girl"
For means of Identification he is to
wear a red carnation and I am TO carry
H00O,00O in my left hand"
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
NEWS OF THE CIVIL WAR
''.s7' r. ~ q ! AS Told in Daily
~. ...-. ..>Dspatches Printed
FIFTY YEARS AGO TODAY

Fly years ago began the memorable struggle
between the north and south known generally as
the civil war.
Old newspapers of both northern and southern
cities published during that stirring period have
been searched and the news and current re-
fecton of public sentiment are presented from
day to day as they appeared in each section at
that time.
From the Southland the dispatches are taken
directly from the files of an old-time newspaper of
Richmond, Va, and from the North the news is
drawn from several sources including files of old
Il the larger cities.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Wife Wouldn't Let Him

- W by don't they ,'narry?" - :
one of his. family objects to her"
THAT seems a trivial obstacle"
Not at all Its%hfs wife. She won't
agree to a divorce" ....- =.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Affects the Tongue

What is the effect of taking a cold
bath every morning.?
I The chief one that I've noticed Is
an unconquerabls desire to tell every
body about It"
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
And Holds Him

The Former Widow-You can't say 1
ever ran after you, Percival.
The Second Helping-Tery true, Hy-
patia. The trap never runs after. the
rat, but it gathers him, all the same
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
5000 to | Shot

81 am sorry, Mrs. Mahaffy, to hear
-of tie loss of your husband"
Don't be sorry for me, ma'am. Sure,
it's no loss to get thousand dollars
Insurance for a 3O-cent husband"
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Snilt- MiIk

Mrs Hecktor-I thought when mar
'Tied you you were an entirely diff
feFent man.
Hecktor-I wish, Maria, that you
had married the man you took me
for. ....... -. & I'll .a....~
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
A Heavy Loser

She-why did you lose your temper
at the game of--cards?l--,,;;
He-It was the only thing I had
left to, lose g.. ,..,,.s
The Washington times., 1911-03-30

OU forgot to buy the coffee again. didn't you?" said
Mrs Peevcd grossly, searching in her work bag
for button.
NO, I didn't" retorted Mr.. Peeved selecting
cigar from the box on the table: Il bought it,
all right but / left it at the Office ..,,
well, it certainly doesn'tado any good
there snapped Mrs Pceved
"Aw, forget it, growled Mr. Peeved, taking
up his paper. You're. always kickin' up fuss
about something. A womans got no right to
expect a to lug groceries round anyhow |
thought Of the coffee as soon as ] bad started
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Twas the Horse

First Tramp-You've got cold.
Second Tramp-Yes, went to
sleep under a wagon last evening,
and during the night some one re-
moved the wagon =
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
She Wears a Hobble

Would your wife vote If woman
suffrage were secured?'
"No She'd never be able to get to
the polls until after closing time
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
He's Wise

Louey-vy do dey hold brize fights
on such high platforms?
Fritz-Because: der are so few held
on, der level.
The Washington times., 1911-03-30
Hopeless

, Kate-I told Mr.. Beach I was q and
he said l didn't look 1t.
E, Her Friend-No, dear, you don't You
haven't looked 1t for forty-five years. !:
The evening world., 1911-05-24
Decoration Day Sale of Parasols

Agrand range of fashion.
able styles for women and
misses.
The evening world., 1911-05-24
Presidential Possibility, He
Thinks, Though Harmon and
Wilson Are Good Men,'Too.
MODEST ABOUT SELF.
Mrs. Hearst Goes to Look
After Her Two Magazines
in England.

wfffism Randolph Hearst and Mn
Hearst. who = an extensive publication
partner Of the editor a. wen a. mistress
OF his Household. sailed to-day on tho
Mauretania for an indefinite stay on
tho Continent. Like nearly all the
American notables sailing at this time.
Mr.. Hearst said he would not attend the
coronation celebration.
Il am going away for q rest" he
said. ''and while I am ready to come
back whenever I am called. I hope that
] WIN not be called soon. Our first
Otop viii Be at ~F1shSuard. We are
pausing In England to look after MIRA
Hearst's magazine properties. she IL
the owner Of Nash's MaSasine and the
London Budget.
II had been generally known that Mrs.
Hearst owned the Cosmopolitan Maya
nne but her ownership Of the two Eng
lish publications vas a fact that had no,
before crept Into public notice. 1t led
the editor to be asked II he intended
entering the English field Of Journalism
either by the changing Of a magazine
into Q newspaper or the establishment
Of IN English paper.
Talks Of New York Politics.
"oh. no." he said. II have no idea OF
entering that neld."
When asked about tho political stu
alton In New York he said:
The Democrats have made q fair be-
ginning toward fulfilling their election
promises, but . good many of the
pledges remain to be filled before they
will make a good ending. The most I'M
portant thing before the Legislature is
the income tar amendment. which I
hops will be passed. l also hope to see
the passage Of an effective direct pri.
The evening world., 1911-05-24
PLAYED CARDS
WITH HIS WIFE,
THEN ENDED LIFE
Brooklyn Man Cut His Throat
After Spouse Retired-She
Found Him Dead.

John Nelson. forty-eght years old,
travelling salesman for q tobacco COM
pany. killed himself by cutting his
throat With a razor at his home, No 3s
Ninety-ninth street. Fort Hamilton.
Brooklyn. early to-day.
For more than a year he had suffered
from Insomnia. Last night after a "a me
OF cards his wife. Bessie, said she was
going to bed. He said lie would be I'm
able to sleep, 50 he would stay up and
read.
At 8 O'clock she awoke and found
he had not yet retired. When she called
to him he that he had tried
TO sleep and couldn't. At s o'clock "a.
awoke again. and got no answer Oh call
ing to him.
She found him In a chair with his
throat cut and the razor on the crm
OF the chair. A doctor called from the
neighborhood said Nelson had been dead
some time.
The evening world., 1911-05-24

mary NV. II the Legislature does these
two things II win have accomplished
more than any other Legislature has
done IN recent years. II II does not the
Democratic party Will not deserve the
approval of the people.
Il believe that the Democratic party
will be successful in the campaign OF
1872" he said, switching TO the national
situation. THE House Of Repr esenta-
tives. under the leadership OF Champ
Clark. IL now the only branch of ma
tional activity under Democratic con-
troll. The work that II has dom has
been excellent IND the part taken by
Mr.. Clark makes him n of the men
to be prominently considered in con
nection with the Presidency"
Wilson and Harmon Good.
what about Gov. Wilson and Gov.
Harmon"
They are both good men"
VIII you be q candidate for Pres
ident?"
Il can't say a. to that"
Would you under any circumstances.
be a candidate7"
II don't think that that 10 . fair
question:"
what DO you think Of the new police
change in New York;"
Il think that the selection Of Mr..
Waldo Is an excellent one"
rs he one of our personal frends7'
Il have met him q couple of times,
but there are hundreds of people in New
York whom / have met a couple OF
ss.-..
The evening world., 1911-05-24
FRANK J. GOULD SAILS.
Hopes to See HIS Horse win Derby
at Chantiuy.

Frank J. Gould and his wife sailed to-
day on the Mauretania. Mr.. Gould said
that he was h%urrvtng abroad in order to
attend the ChantiAy races Sunday wNk,
when his horse. Conburg, II % he one OF
the entries for the Derby. lie says that
event
1T win probably take President Bush
three or four months to get things In
working order in the Missouri Pacific
and thor I think the property will forge
ahead rapidly" he said.
He would not discuss his connection
with the election OF the new president,
which refusal led his wife to remark.
That husband of mine Is a great
man.
The evening world., 1911-05-24


Parasois, 81. 00-Yaine N.S0-Linen
and %linene, poplin. p~ongeline.
satccn. plain effects. hem
stitched. embroidered. inser-
tings, fancy borders. tuoks,
in white, black and colors.
Pdrasois, H.S5-Vaius U.S0-Taf-
fcta silk. plain and hem
stitched. in popular colors and
black and white effects. black
and white checks and stripes;
many on gilt frames. =
Parosols, N.9S- Value SJ.0o-Taf-
feta silk; plain and hem
stitched: tonribbed gilt frames; new
Parasois, $3.50 Value Sj.S0-Silk pom
gee and taffeta silk; plain and hem
stitched; latest colors and blacl
and white: some have shepherd
plaid borders and canopy tops
eight and ten rib frames.
Parssois, Sj.S0-Vaius Ss.O0-Satir
pongee. taffeta silk; plain. hem
stitched with tucks; fancy Persia
striped borders: latest color effect
and combination; gilt frames; ear
opy and other shapes; very prett,
The evening world., 1911-05-24
Announcing the Opening of a
Ladies' Tailoring Department

ladies' Tailoring Department
We will make to your individual measurements, Of the
material you furnish, coats. skirts and suits in any of the
many fashionable new models at most substantial savings from
the exclusive taior's charges.
The woman who has her clothes made to order. the woman who finds
1t difficult TO be fitted with ready made apparel In fact every woman, may
now have jus. the garment she wants made to her orde5 at a cost that viii
make this new Bloomngdale department very popular.
We furnish oil Innings, butons. trimmings. fndinCH &c. we Sno" many
different styles of garments, but IT you have a style oil your own o. one from
any fashion publication W will be pleased to make II up. A. ln,roluct9ry
Inducements we offer to make, FROM MATERIAL fONNlotiGD 70;
Man. Tailored Wash Suiis 10 order for $500
You may have your choice of any Of fifteen new styles W. sho".
Other plain and fancy models will be made TO order at higher prices.
Separate Coats or Skirts made to order ut poportioAatcy 20" prices.
Suits Of Serres, Pongees, Silks, Saiins, etc, furnished us q 7 . and
In these suits we furnish SINNERS satin or peau de cygnc lining,
You furnish the material, we do the rest, r.ru
Satisfaction Guuan,eed or Your Money Bsk, indudns e"iof material Shop s-ond fSr