davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
CAN'T STAND FOR El-~-y.lINl
Every Man Has Weak Spot in His Humorous Nature and Falls to
 See Joke.

A man who lacks sense of humor is despised by all. But every man has a weakness somewhere in his hu- morous nerve. Every man knows of some joke which is amusing to all but himself.
 For my part I never could see any thing funny about any one having the toothache. What on earth Is funny about the toothache? I have had plenty of opportunity to observe this phenomenon in all its phases, and while admit that toothache is thrill. ing and exciting. I cannot see where the fun comes in.
 I have six children and they each have toothache by turns. Bulstrode has 1t Monday, Ajax Tuesday. Abe lard Wednesday, Sinbad Thursday, Fritz Friday, Peter Saturday, and I have 1t myself on Sunday. Everybody in the house has 1t but my wife and the cook. One of them hasn't time, and the other cannot afford to have it. But as it is we are busy with 1t all week.
 When I stagger into the office Tues day morning clutching my hot, throb- ping head the boss inquires: Whats the matter?"
 I say: Little Bulsey had the tooth ache all night last night"
 "Too bad," says the boss.
 Wednesday morning finds the same symptoms in me, and the same ques- tion comes from the boss.
 "Ajax had it this time," I say.
 The next day the boss questions me, and I say 1t was little Sinby's turn, and the next day Fritz and the next Peter. The boss is always sympa- thetic.
 But on Monday when I tell him I had the toothache myself he lets out a horrible roar of laughter. I de- spise such misplaced humor.-H. P. Galt in Chicago News.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
Reautifyinq Orphan Grounds.

Batesville.-F L. Mulford, an expert landscape man from the department of agriculture, Washington. D. C., ar. rived in the city for the purpose ol taking charge of the work of beautify ing the Masonic Orphans Home grounds here The natural location of this home is of itself magnificent, and it is the intention of the board of trustees to add to this by a scientific and judicious expenditure of good sum of money in doing what nature had not done, and when finished il will be one of the most beautiful places in the state
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
ee.claI Election August 90.

Gov. Donaghey has called special election ln Columbia county to be ReId on August 30 for the purpose of eEectinx q sheriff to succeed s. s. McMath. the former sheriff, who was Eilled while attempting to make an arrest in the early part of the sum- nler Sheriff McMath attempted to arrest George and sam Hill on charge of bottlcgging, and in the duel that followed both the sheriff and George Hall were killed
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
New Bridges for Arkansas.

Washington. D. C-The senate has passed the following bills. authorizing the construction of bridges across nayigable streams in Arkansas Cam. bell Lumber Company, to build a bridge across St. Francis river in Dunklin county to Clay county; Le- vitte Land &. Lumber Company to con. struct a bridge across Bayou Bartholo. new in Drew county; Jefferson Coun. ty Bridge Company. to bridge the Ark. ansas river at Pine Bluff.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
Reform School Machinery.

With the arrival of the last load of machinery for the state handle and spoke factory to be erected at the re form school. the work of installation can ooon be completed, and the mill ready for business. The work will be done entirely by the inmates of the school. 0f whom there are at present about a0. and the oak and hickory on the state lands will be turned into profitable articles. Officials state that the factory will be a means of giving the boys cxcellent and useful manual draining in the conversion of the 200 acres Of timber adjacent to the reform school inta handles and spokes.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
State Fair Exempt From Tax.

Upon the ground that the State Fair Association is not organized for the profits of it's members, the state tax commission had ruled it to be exempt from the franchise tax law. When the matter was receiving attention some time ago. J. l.. Wadley, secretary of the association, pointed out that the organization, in the sense of declaring dividends, etc. was not a money-mak- ing concern, but that it's purpose was more for the advertisement of the state. The majority of the comnis- sion inclined toward that view
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
Army Worm Doinq Damaqe.

In a letter to the department of agriculture, in which he desired in- formation concerning where he might obtain supply of arsenate of lead, c. R. Roberts of Haynes. Lee county, stated that the army worms are doing considerable damage in that section of the state. Paris green is frequent ly used. but later authorities recom- mend the use of arsenate of lead, as it is claimed that this poison does not injure the foliage of the cotton.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
THEY WILL BE BUSINESS MEN
Two Young Lads Who Are Displaying the Wisdom of Presidents of
 Railways.

To modernize an old phophecy, Out of the mouths of babes shall come much worldly wisdom" Mr K. has two boys whom he dearly loves. One day he gave each a dollar to spend. After much bargaining, they brought home q wonderful our-wheeled steam boat and a beautiful train of cars.
 For awhile the transportation busi- ness flourished, and all was well, but one day Craig explained to his father that while business had been good. he could do so much better If he only had the capital to buy a train or cars like Joe's. His argument must have been good. for the money was forthcoming. Soon after, little Joe, with probably less logic but more loving, became possessed of a dollar to buy a steamboat like Craig's. But Mir. K, who had furnished the addi- tional capital, looked in vain for the improved service.
 The new rolling stock was not in evidence, and explanations were vague and unsatisfactory, as is often the case in the railroad game at which men play It took stern court of in quiry to develop the fact that the rail- road and steamship had simply changed hands-and at a mutual profit of 100 per cent And Mr K, as he told his neighbor. said 1t was worth that much to know that his boys would not need much of legacy from him.-Lippincott's Magazine.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
LEcense Supply Used Up.

Tho supply of automobile license blanks has run short at the secretary of states office and a new supply had to be ordered from the printer, which might occasion delay to applicants in getting their tags. It was stated, how ever, that if the tags are asked for and the money paid in before the law becomes effective, evidence of this fact wiE save owners from arrest be- fore the blanks are received and prop. eriy signed. The first order was for I.ooe- and only about 40 have re. oeived tags.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
Abiding in Christ.

Abiding in Jesus is nothing but the giving up of ones self to be ruled and taught and led. and so resting fin the arms of everlasting love. Blessed rest! The fruit and the foretaste and the fellowship of Gods own rest! found of them who thus come to Jesus to abide in him. It is the peace of God. the great calm of the eternal world, that passeth all understanding. that keeps the heart and mind With this grace secured. we have strength for every duty, courage for every struggle. a blessing in every cross, and the joy of life eternal in death It. self-Rev Andrew Murray.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
Fifty Bushels Per Acre.

Hamburg.-The corn crop in this county promises to surpass any year previous. Three farmers a few miles west of here state that they have 10( acres in corn that will average fifty bushels to the acre.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
Applications Are Held Up.

It is announced that no applicants for entrance to the Confederate Home will be considered by the state board of charities until after the building has been remodeled and renovated, as there is not now any room for addi- uonal inmates. When the remodeling is finished and the veterans moved back into their quarters applications for entrance will be considered.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
The Right of
 Free Speed

Tn Tn hot water again. celes,.r qulred the fluffy haired blonde =, n solemn parade of sympathy sllA [
 Young Mrs. Allison noaaa, opened opened her mouth to explain sa. s closed it again with decipion put sewing circle waited nolita,, iAe1 she took seven stitches on 2 Talls work bureau scarf. But fndiDs s'ssa ! she maintained a resolute silaa 'aat fuffy-haired blonde besought ss 'as planation. aa ei'
 Whats the trouble now, dea,~ asked. 'eafs shs
 Young Mrs. Allison laid do,. bureau scarf and sighed s1,a .as my fluent conversation, as usus,s a' said. She
 The gushing young woman [, trope breathed a sympathetic a,as. us',. but the fluffy-haired blonaa ,,s Aa and young Mrs. Allison glared I,ss'se as ssa resentfully. ~ ua
 Do you know Mrs Mo,., Morse?" demanded Mrs, Allison .'a .a.a a dark frown. 'aa
 Why, yes, do" said tbe eu. haired blonde. with interest q her the other day at the bridee ols Is' She dropped in just in time fo. " treatments and" v
 I'm sure she did" interruD,.. young Mrs. Allison. fretfuly aSh.s @ always dropping in somewhere cs. drops in to tea at dinner tima ,,.. when she accepts a luncheon ir,s. tion she usually arrives after x. have given her up and the soun I !. being served. She simply loves in b. casual"
 The gushing young woman in belio trope emitted another soulful mo,a syllable.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
Hear Prohls October 10.

Little Rock - County Judge Joe Asher has set October 10 as the date upon which he will hear the three mile petition which seeks to close al saloons in Little Rock. The petition was filed several weeks ago and has been held up to allow all those whe desire to take their names off.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
H. D. Green Assumes Office.

Henry D. Green, who was recently appointed by state insurance eommis- sioner by Auditor lobe has taken charge of the office at the new capi- tol. The position was created by the last legislature.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
Sorrows Crown of Sorrow.

Cook-Please, mum, Dive had a great misfortune.
 Mistress-What is it, Bridget?
 Cook-I've burnt up the fruit cake, an it cost five dollars, and the worst of it is me labor is wasted.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18

.ioh sue usually arrives after Ion have given her up and the sonr z. being served. She simply loves ,o h. casual"
 The gushing young woman in hall. trope emitted another soulful mo,a syllable.
 Well" commented the fufy.bairsa blonde, doubtfully, T don't know bs, very well. myself, but she wears r,r ishing clothes. What have you sa against her, Celeste?"
 "I?' exclaimed young Mrs. Allia, with surprise. "Oh, nothing, exceu her habits-but she has somethn, against me"
 "Um," said the fuffy-haired blonde comprehendingly Have you been telling her what pity is that her husband Is so ugly CT did you van her against wearing lavender uert her face?"
 Neither" responded young Mn Allison. cheerfully. ",or, I will ada am such a painfully tactless persoa as you all think l have been known to mak- quite charming personal re marks to people on the spur Of tho moment. and very often," she added sadly. "I think of the loveliest sa most plausible lies imaginable--aitst ward"
 T don't believe it." said the futr haired blonde. with q sigh on her On account There are many yirtus my love, that your warmest frena cannot claim for you. but your most radical enemy couldn't accuse you q r4thfulness. Now, what is As trouble with Mrs. Morrison MOra anyway"
 She called me up on the telephoa the other day" explained young An Allison, meekly, and asked me i had anything on hand for SaturdF afternoon. l said l hadn't I've ben feeling like going to the matinee, sA told me. Let's go tomorrow, then That suited me perfectly. so we de cided on what to see and where meet and all that. Of course l uf derstood that it was to be a Du'ci treat, as we all do that way yoa know"
 The different members of the aF ing circle nodded afirmatively
 Well" continued young Mrs As son, her voice becoming aggresa Saturday afternoon came, as the nov elists say, and I had met Mrs aa rison Morse. who was so late 'ha was cross. Then We went to as matinee!
 Young Mrs. Allison paused, as hr fiecting on the unhappiness q aA past occasion. You all know n's stupid the play was" she EesI l finally, with considerable heat iA remarked to Mrs. Morse that " too bad we had wasted our time ~ our money on 1t. She gave ms strangest look, but l was dehse l" porpoise." ,..
 "Porpoise murmured the aA haired blonde. inqulringly' B sT poise dense?"
 I'm sure I don't know, re1ls' young Mrs. Allison, blandly in " connected with the zoo myse,i' it sounds all right. doesnt h
 "Oh, very well" said tns D haired blonde with resignauon it pass" M ued. taking up the thread oi '. rative, between the second anu acts I remarked that 1t was we hadn't bought our sea's so that we might have op'a'n' ter ones" ,...t lauBnlnB. What h. cye1 guest you were. Celeste!1 sns 1 ,n
 That's just 1t" admit,ea '. m Mrs. Allison gloomily, Whep that tb pas sbe as' had invited me to ss vited me. you understand. aa1 ala i, {, I tried to explain my hi0l ,,h ssS like sharing condolences "''D wall" said
 NO wonder you hate hef fluffy haired blonde. uoupg y6
 Of course not" agreed yO.uy anrbss Allison. "It is dangerous ,O
 ho nolfte tO me.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18

Every pew in crowded church has somebody h it wko might become a power for the Lord, If he would only do what he could.
The Nevada County picayune., 1911-08-18
Incredible.

Incred lble. ,,ss Anything new In ter?" ,ostscnpt Yes; there was DO
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-07-13
Seaboard to Sue Coast Line.

Columbia, July S.-Charging con-
spiracy the Seaboard Air Line rail-
way will Monday file suit against the
Atlantic Coast Line Railway COM
pany for 100000 in Chesterfield
county. This is the largest suit
ever brought by one railroad In South
Carolina against another road and is
the elimination of the war that has
been progressing between the two
roads during the past several months
as result of the crossing at Front
street in the town of Cheraw. The
positive announcement of the suit
was made here to-day by Lyles &
Lyles, attorneys for the Seaboard in
this State.
The, supreme court recently rem
dered decision that the Coast Line
had no right to cross the Seaboard
Air Line at Front street in the town
of Cheraw. The crossing was put in
and the case is now before the su-
preme court on another issue.
The Front street crossing in the
town of Cheraw is on the main line
of the Seaboard Air Line. 1t is said
that the Coast Line desires to cross
the main line of the Seaboard in Or
der that their passenger trains may
go closer to the center of the town.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-07-13
Two Girls Attacked.

Marion, Ohio, July 9.-As Miss
Flora spicer, aged 20, and her guest,
Miss Mary Rogers, aged %, Of West
Mansfield, were returning home from
church at 10 o'clock tonight, they
were accosted on the street by man
who struck both girls over the head
and, picking up Miss Spioer, who was
unconscious, carried her away. Miss
Rogers quickly summoned the help
of a number of men, who searched
the railroad yards, a block distant,
where they found Miss Spicer, with
face bruised and clothing torn,
crawling along the tracks and unable
to speak. Her assailant escaped.
Miss Spicer, when she regained her
speech, said the man threatened her
with death If she screamed. She is
in a serious condition. The entire
police force is searching for her as
sailant.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-07-13
IN FAVOR OF GOLDEN.
Greenwood Rural Policeman Will be
Paid Salary by County.

Greenwood, July S.-Associate JUS
tice E. B. Gary has signed the order
of the petitioner, R. L. Golden, in
mandamus seeking to require the
county of Greenwood, through the
proper officers, to pay him one
months salary up to June z. This
is salary due before the filing OF the
recent decision Of the State supreme
court that he was entitled to pay,
with L. c. Ellidge, as de facto off,
Ger.
The county, through it's attorney,
E. s. F. Giles, resisted payment on
the ground that Golden had no stand
ing in court, and Mr.. Golden's attor-
ney, D. H. Magill, argued that under
the decision he was entitled to pay
which had accrued prior to the fling
of the decision of the supreme court.
Justice Gary so ordered, and Mr.. Col
den will get 1888. He is still act
ing as rural policeman, and his at
torneys say he will bring another
action to compel payment OF the sal
ary as long as it is refused. Another
month ended yesterday, and mean
while the decision of the supreme
court has been filed, and the out
come of the next suit will be awaited
with greater interest.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-07-13

The race for governor next year is
Salready being discussed by the press,
and various suggestions as to candi-
dates have been made. One is to the
sefect that T. G. Mcleod, of Bishop
vile, who was in the race last year,
will run again, but Mr.. Mcleod has
had nothing to say in regard to his
intentions. Some think that he is
the logical candidate, but this does
not necessarily follow. Mr.. Mcleod
and R. I. Manning are from practical
ly the same county, Lee county being
formed from a part of Sumter, and
Mr.. Mcleod having lived in Sumter
before Lee was formed. Therefore,
as Mr.. Manning ran some years ago
and then stood aside last year for Mr..
Mcleod, it seems only logical that
next year is Mr.. Manning's time to
run, and that Mr.. Mcleod should
stand aside. We have no informa-
lion in the matter, but we believe this
is the way it will be, and if Mr.. Man
ming runs next year he will prove
formidable candidate, and in fact, we
believe he would be elected. He is
strong, clean man, one in whom all
have confidence, and his election
would do great deal toward cement
ing a now badly divided people. To
be frank about the matter, as we
usually are, we hope to see Mr.. Man
ming in the race, for we believe he is
essentially the man to put forward.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-07-13
263 Horses Perish in Fire.

Chicago, July 9.-Fire of unknown
origin early to-day destroyed the
stables of the Arthur W. Dixon
Transfer company, burned 263 horses
to death and caused s5O0,000 dam
ages.
Scores of firemen narrowly escap-
ed death when the roof caved in.
Fire this afternoon destroyed the
furniture warehouse of W. c. Rebbie
& Bros, causing 100000 damage.
Hot weather made the work of the
f1remen doubly onerous.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-07-13
Left Dying Wife to Surrender.

indianapolis, July 9.-Frank j..
Vinson, former director of the Co.
lumbia club, which entertained Pres
ident Taft last Tuesday, and auditor
of the Brown-Ketcham Iron works
of this city, tonight surrendered to
the police, after a warrant charging
him specifically with the embezzle-
ment of $4,460 from the iron works
company had been issued. 1t is said
the total shortage will reach $685.
900.
Vinson left a wife seriously i'll and
said to be dying from heart disease
to give himself up. He was later re-
leased on $4,000 bond. The alleged
defalcations were discovered when
the company went into the hands of
a receiver in June, and expert ac-
countants were put on the books.
The defalcations are said to have ex-
tended over a period of eight years.
Vinson, it was said tonight, had been
confronted with the alleged short
age last Friday and had confessed,
but was not arrested then on ac-
count of the condition of his wife. It
was feared the disclosures would
hasten her death. She has not been
told of her husbands plight.
Vinson, when seen tonight before
surrendering to the police, told the
story of the alleged defalcation as
coming from Frank D. Stalnaker,
president of the Capital National
bank of this city, and receiver for
the Brown-Ketcham company, said:
"Well, if the receiver told you 1
guess you know it ALL
Further than that he made no
statement. While the alleged defal-
cation may have helped it was said
tonight that it alone was not re-
sponsible for the company going in
to a receivers hands.
Vinson, who is 4S years old, was
regarded as one of the leading busi-
ness men of the city. Brown-Ketch-
am company's officials made no state
ment tonight.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-07-13
Bamberg needs and should have

s Bamberg needs and should have
a sewerage system. We trust the
business league will take the matter
up and instruct our legislative dele
cation to have passed at the coming
session of the general assembly a
constitutional amendment allowing
Bamberg to vote additional bonds for
a sewerage system. This amendment
would have to be submitted to the
next general election, and in turn
submitted to the tax payers of the
town. By all means let us put the
matter in such shape that thespeople
can vote the bonds for sewerage +
they want to.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-07-13
{ NO AMENDMENT.
Defeat of Cummins' Plan Foreshad.
ows Bills Success.

Washington, July 8.-The defeat in
the senate to-day Of the first Of Sem
ator Cummins' amendments to the
Canadian reciprocity bill made 1t
clear that the measure is scheduled
to emerge from the Senate without
any change from it's original form.
BY vote Of 80 to IA the senate
refused to attach to the bill Senator
Cummins'' proposal to give Canadian
fresh meats and meat products free
access to the American market.
The fate of the first Of the Cum
Minis amendments is expected to be
that Of all the others, which are to
be voted upon Monday along with
amendments by Senator Simmons OF
North Carolina, somewhat similar In
scope. Three Democrats, Senators
Bailey, Simmons and Thornton, and
two regular Republicans, Senators
Clark of Wyoming and Sutherland,
voted with the insurgent Republicans
for the amendment. No material
change in the vote is expected on the
other amendments of like nature.
The remaining Cummins amendments
propose to put Canadian iron and
steel products, -four, lumber, coal,
leather, woolens and cotton goods on
the free list without giving similar
advantages to American goods going
into Canada.
An agreement for voting on these
and the Simmons amendment on
Monday was reached late in the at
ternoon.
So far as the effect on the progress
of the reciprocity bill is concerned,
some senators were disposed to mini
mize the importance Of this agree
ment on the ground that these
amendments would give place to
consideration of others Senator La
Toilette is preparing.
An element of the senate is await
ing the La Toilette amendments as
possible basis for renewed efforts OF
some Democrats and insurgent Re-
publicans to get together on revision
of tariff schedules.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-07-13

The "appointive members" of the
State board of education. issued a
statement this week in reply to Su-
perintendent Swearingen in the mat
ter of the recent school book adop-
stion, which gives their side of the
case. AS we published the article OF
Mr.. Swearingen, We will publish the
statement of the board. However,
on account of it's length, we cannot
print it until next week. There is
always two sides to every question,
and the reply of the board should be
carefully read by the tax payers and
parents who will have to bear the
burden of the change in text books.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1911-07-13
Killed in Memphis Hotel.

Memphis, Tenn, July 9.-Thos. F..
Dolan, 26 years of age, an employe Of
local theatre, was shot through the
heart and instantly killed this even
ing by J. H. Hughes, merchant and
planter aof Haynes, Ark, in the room
occupied by Hughes in local hotel.
The planter alleges that while in
the company of Dolan valuable dia-
mond stud was removed from his
shirt, and when he demanded it's re-
turn Dolan refused unless Hughes
pay him $50. The alteration fol-
lowed.
Dolan was formerly a jockey and
was well known among the sporting
fraternity.