davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
SHIELDED THE LADY.
A Taotfui Head Waiter Baked an Of
fensivs Hotel Guest

A TaotfuI Head Waiter Baked an o.
fensivs Hotel Guest
To illustrate an incident that &C.
CURED in a hotel uptown the other
night, where. II you are not known.
you have to produce some sort OF
patent of absolute responsibility. con-
struct a rectangle. lettering the imag-
mary diagonal corners A. B. @ and D.:
A represents a solitary male person
dining. B represents a comely person
of the opposite sex seated at another
table with a party. @ represents a
head waiter and D group Of the I'M
employed walters. Let the line ABB
represent an admiring look that travels
continuously. RA represents look OF
annoyance. CA and CB are compre-
bending glances directed by the head
waiter.
The point @ moves toward d. max
ing a triangle. After a whispered d.
rection a figure which may be termed
o, because 1t represents particularly
rotund waiter, moves from the point d
until 1t reaches point on the line ABB.
q moves back to position.
A 1nds that his 0gie stopa at o,
which he cannot nee through. and calls
o to take an order. Th-reupoR q mo-
lions toward ID. when another waiter.
ira yelling on the line DA. effects a
junction with A and goes OF at tan
gent. A cranes his neck. stretching to
one side or the other. but it cannot get
past O. The result IL that A finally
SEES what is up. finishes his coffee in
| sheppish disgust and leaves the room.
New York sun.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

Two Broadway business men met
before bar. They We're good friends.
"I'm worried a little" said one
"My chauffeur ran over dog today
and killed it."
ooh, l wouldn't worry about little
thing like that" said the other. 1.-THE
dog probably got in the way. These
dogs are pest"
"But it was your dog"
"Whatw came from the second
"My dog? I'm sorry, but that will
cost you $100. That chauffeur Of
yours is too careless. I insist on the
hundred, understand."-New York Tel
egraph.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
Irickinu tha Rohhx.

A Dublin eccentric a short time ago
entered purveyor's shop and bought a
ham. Having paid for his purchase.
he requested that it should be hung
outside the shop door. saying that he
would call back for 1t. The customer
then paced up and down outside the
shop till policeman came In sight.
and just as the man in blue caught
bis eye he grabbed the ham and bolt
ed. The constable. however. soon col
Jared the thief. as he thought. and
hauled him back to the shop. Having
explained the nature of the alleged
crime to the shop assistant. he asked
the latter to chargethe offender.
But" said the assistant as he real.
lied the joke. its his own ham. He
was quite at liberty to take it in any
circumstances he oSe"-London An.
swers.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
FoIey's Kidney Remedy Acted
Quickly.

NJ. n. George, Irondsle, Ala, was
bothered with kidney trouble for many
years. al was persuaded to try Foley
Kidney Remedy, and before taking it
three days could feel its beneficial eff
fects. The pain left my back, my kid
neys action cleared, and am so much
better, | do not hesitate to recommend
Foley Kidney Remedy."-John W.
Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
In~the Wake of the Measles.

The little son of Mrs. o. b. Palmer
Little Rock, Ark, had the measles
The result was severe cough which
grew worse and he could not sleep. She
says: "One bottle of Foley's Honey and
Tar Compound completely cured him
and he has never been bothered since"
Group, whooping cough, measles cough
all yield to Foley's Honey and Tar
Compound. The genuine is in the vel.
low package always. Refuse substi
tutes.-John w. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
SURE TO BE MISSED.
A Famous Cooks Lament on the Death
Of His Royal Master.

The most successful book that was
published by William Harrison Aims
worth during his first year of buSi-
ness. says Mr. s VI Ellis in his bios-
raplly OF the English author and pub
Usher. was a cookbook II was THE
French Cook" by Louis Eustache Ude.
"the Gil HAS of the Kitchen"
This unique study of the culinary
art brought In handsome sum TO the
astute young publisher who had pur-
chasedsthe copyright, and the book
was In the hands of every gourmet In
London.
Ude had been chef of Louis XVI. of
Nine. Letizia Bonaparte and then of
the Earl of Seton. at salary of 800
guineas year. At another time he
presided over the culinary department
Of the Crockfords. but his favorite
master was Frederick. duke of York.
When the royal gormand died his
bereaved chef pathetically calculated:
"Ah, mon pauvre due, how much
you will miss me. wherever you are
gone tor
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
QUAINT MARRIAGE NOTICE.
William Cullen Bryant Broke the News
Gently TO His Mother.

SdbNh 49,
Gently to His Mother.
The following letter from William
Cullen Bryant to his mother. Quoted
by Professor Chubb In Stories Of Au-
thors." indicates that the author Of
'.Thanatopsis" could enjoy bis little
joke on occasion:
"Dear Mother-I hasten TO send you
the melancholy intelligence OF what
has lately happened to me. Early on
the evening of the eleventh day OF the
present month | was at a neighboring
house In this village. Several people
of both sexes were assembled In one
of the apartments. and three or four
others. with myself. were in another.
AT last came in a little elderly gentle
man, pale. thin. with a solemn counte-
nance. pleuritic voice. hooked nose and
hollow eyes. II was not long before
we were summoned 10 attend IN the
apartnfent where be and the rest Of
the company were gathered. We went
in and took our seats. The little eld'
erIy gentleman with the hook nose
prayed, and we all stood up. When
he had finished most OF us sat down.
The gentleman with the hooked nose
then muttered certain cabalistic ex'
pressions, which ] was too much
frightened TO remember. but ! recol-
lect that al the conclusion ] was gwen
10 understand that was married 10 a
Young lady Of the name Of Frances
Fairchild. whom | perceived standing
BY my side and whom ! hope In tue
course of a few months 10 have the
pleasure OF Introducing to you as your
daughter-in-law. which is matter of
some interest TO the poor girl. who has
melt her father nor mother In the
world"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

The Fieldings are an ancient race.
and the Denbigh earldom dates from
1922. By the way. there Is funny
story as regards the family name and
its spelling. The. author Of TON
Jones" was one of the race, and the
then Lord Denbigh said to his relative:
"Why don't you spell your name Field
ing as the rest Of us do and not
'Fielding'T'
The writer made answer, Because
am the first of the family who learn.
ed to spell. London Gentlewoman.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

The seagull makes a splendid living
barometer If covey Of seagulls fly
seward early In the morning sailors
and fishermen know that the day will
be fine and the wind fair, but If the
birds keep inland. though there he no
haze hanging out toward the SEA to
denote unpleasant weather, interested
folk know that the elements will be
unfavorahIe. OF all weatherwise fish
the dolphin is>fhe most remarkab bic
During fierce gale or storm at sea
the mariner knows that the end of It
is near If he can see dolphin or a
number of that fish sporting on the
high sea waves.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
killino One FIy,

Every fly begins AZ an egg deposited
In some kind of organic NTH. 1t
matches into u tiny maggot within u
few hours. begins to feed AMI grow.
completes Its growth and Gomez "ut AZ
a perfect ty In possibly ten days. II
then requires ut least fourteen days 10
mature Its first batch Ut eggs. and II
may live to mature and deposit at least
six iayings. Of from 100 to l5n eggs
each. This means that In killing one
fly we may BE- preventing the hatching
of nearly u thousand Others Youths
Companion.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

FH.Ha .HEHwt.-
DON I "aHt 900 Do. r- '~sA
pride i...sf -..
anu t-iI u- fr.-. .....
% my side .3 a-ss-,
" 5 80 aea.t. ...-s In
Ger aiar '-l b,
in -, T., -.s, 0i a.-. ra--,
A., s l'sils ar. o.
anu mus mus learn a1a O.. e-.a-
A ~ 49, y ''' lga
Auu mock az tis man r....
- oH' .E p
must be naughty T...
dr. ,.,S ''''.sF alone urrsr.s
Shut INV a.. -.... s.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

Foley Kidney Pills take hold of your
system and help you to rid yourself of
your dragging backache, dull headache,
nervousness, impaired eyesight, and of
all the ills resulting from the impaired
action of your kidneys and bladder.
Remember it is Foley Kidney Pills that
do this,--John w. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
Lust a Bit loo Ant.

To exc out his salary the people of a
small country church gave their pas
tor a donation party. among the pres
ents being fine new dress coat for
the pastor and pretty bonnet for bis
wife.
On the following Sunday as they
walked up the aisle in their new habili-
ments the choir inadvertently struck
out with the voluntary-much to the
discontinue of the sensitive clergy
man and his wife Who are these in
bright array ?"-Ladies' Home journal.
The quickest and most effective remedy
for loosening the phlegm, relieving
irritation and curing any cough or cold
is Bloodine Cough Checker. John W
Thurston, Special Agent.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
IL Startled the World

when the astounding claims We're first
rdade for BuckIeus Arnica Save, but
forty years of wonderful cures have
proved them true, aud everywhere 1t Is
now known as the hest salye on earth
for Burns, Bolts, Scalds, Sores, Cuts,
Bruises, SpraiuS, SwelImgs, Eczema,
Chapped Hands, Fever Sores aud Pies
Ouly 25c at j. W. Illusions
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
BY the work one knows tho work.
men.-La Fontaine.

For sore throat there is positively no
remedy that will relieve so quickly and
cure permanently the most aggravated
case, as Bloodine Rheumatic Linin
john w. Thurston, Special Agent.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
Do You Have the Right Kind o
HeIp2

Foley Kidney Pills furnish you the
right kind of help to neutralize and re.
move the poisons that cause backache,
headache, nervousness, and other kid
ney and bladder ailments. John w.
Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
T~o Kinds of Curiosity.

Philanthropic Visitor ito jailbird'-
Ny friend. may ask what II was
that brought you here? JaiIbird-The
very same thing that brought you here
the desire to poke my nose into other
peoples business. only ! used gener
ally to 60 In by way Of the basement
window. Exchange.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

'"What was the worst money panic
you ever saw" asked one inancier Of
another.
1.-THE worst money panic ever
saw" was the reply. was when a
fifty cent piece rolled under the seat
of street car and seven different wo-
men claimed it"-Exchange.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

Bloodine Cough Checker will quickly
allay that hacking irritation accompany
ing severe cough or cold. The safest
aud surest remedy for children. Keep
bottle constantly on hand, John w.
Tturston, Special Agent.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

There are few minds 10 which
tyranny is not delightful. Power ia
nothing hut az II is felt, and the de
light Of superiority is proportionate to
the resistance overcome
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
Mean,

Miss Mugley-l always try to retire
before midnight don't like to miss
my beauty sleep. Miss Pepprpy- You
really should try harder. You GER
tainly don't get enough Of II.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12
Two Sides.

Willis-Why don't you go to church,
Gillis-Too far. Why don't you GOT
Willis We live next door to one. and
hate to get all dressed up Just to 20
that little way.-Puck.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

For that awful cough take Bloodine
Cough Checker. A SO cent bottle will
last longer than most any cough. John
W. Thurston, Special Agent.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

Foley Kidney Pills are a true medi-
cine. They are healing, strengthening,
antiseptic and tonic. They act quickly,
John W. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1911-05-12

After few more villages have been
wiped out China may learn that It will
have TO fight the plague with modern
sanitation
The Illinois issue. (Chicago, Ill. ;) 1906-1912, 1911-09-22

ictory the anti-saloon forces.''
party will vote with the democrats The Gampaiga
Inscriptions type have known any state
the situation than a doubtful aspect.
Lack of Systematic Fighting Part of Temperance People
Fourth While the temperance people of the state are work
cay separate divisions womens Chris
sR and pG h Civic
each headquaers They are all ~oEn
but Of s % sHF
al Only four five counties in the state are organized
be taken The farm
s viii no and @ Rsy
a9 fore the after t5em oD the
other hand the LIQUOR will get out their VOTE for bh they a
sd s % ne
have beaten the Peep in the setting e era
wholly character the
Apathy on Part of Pulpit
Fifth While the ministry of the n are interested a and al
n "n M 6 5 o the 5pE
& @ the on M m Ma9 % sat n
their vacations during the crucial month of August and many
some notable exceptions this few appreoiating
their BEST While hundreds their thoughey
sea 5o % lack Re Of the
%aa really acs ss Of
by liquor with telling effect in
that aDsaner is thereby likely to have
what and his give to of
conscience to vote for license
Both Statutory and Constitutional Prohibition
Sixth If the vote sepember II is in favor of the repeal
constitutional prohibition it not in fact license
constitutional repealed,
the legislature
license
a
after the legislature
electors
referendum until that is
majority vote the prohibition
still remains in force the statute books Thousands people
will constitutional prohibition who
will licensed The burden of the of the
BEEN Take of the constitution where
with it,
Misleading Voters to Vote Against Constitutional Prohibition
While, in this it lead
II, that will probably
repeal statutory prohibition. If the yes-voe
The Illinois issue. (Chicago, Ill. ;) 1906-1912, 1911-09-22
AS DIR. Baker Saw the Situation i'm Maine One
Week Before the Vote Was Taken

Week Before the
We rejoice that Superintendent Bakers prediction on
summing up Of the situation in that failed of ful
The latest press reports give small majority in favor
result actually IN doubt and will be until official
Whatever the final result of the battle careful study
given by Superintendent Baker several days before the elect
of other states. We believe that it will
We believe that suggests lessons that in Ilil
saloon When the result of battle the primaries Thu
that the liquor interests trmphed because of lack of
action their part. Rather may VICTORY for
unanmity of action and thorough organization gives the
Editor, Illinois 1ssue:1 came Maine than two
amendment with the firm belief that the people of the state were
am OF the opinion they are going to lose It, chiefly Tor the 1oow
First The construction of the interstate
has made the of the pohibtor law
very difficult for those public officials who honestly desired the
laws enforcement The protection of the federal
OF no dry State until the
of the % makes the the alder and
chattanooga Nashville Louisville broke prohibi
Hampshire Boston York that
ton territory by the federal mon
chiefly Of
an by m % s2 Now S psvs broken down
They Never Lived in Community with Saloons
Second Five of people in the state of Maine have
s al had
w G M @ nG ad p or @e h
their hands T5sy talk aseq the
cities being than licensed when in fact outside
there "speakeasy" the
of Maine that would make vebule to ordinary licensed
the nothing
themselves dnned their
Wellregulated option ideal
condition., until thousands testimony
their neighbors who know differently have believe that
prohibition that
is making the campaign to retain it difficult
The Success of Prohibition Told by Drink Bill Per Capita
of
capita expended by the people of Maine for drink while
statistics show the drink bill of the
prohibition
The difference between $14S capita Maine and $1739
the is the of of
prohibition Licensed bulletin, published
Portland recently the statistics of
panes that gallons of liquor capita are shipped into
prohibition the
consumed
the people of all the including the prohibition 1t
that will licensed saloons
licensed
shop the present conditions
The Party in Power Favoring Repeal
Third For republican Maine has played
this prohibition
it's by democratic
The Illinois issue. (Chicago, Ill. ;) 1906-1912, 1911-09-22

course honesty this it is lead
ing YES September H. that will probably vote
the statutory prohibition If the yes-vote
Legislature should repeal the statutory law and
The Illinois issue. (Chicago, Ill. ;) 1906-1912, 1911-09-22
The Party in Power Favoring Repeal

Third For the republican OF payeC
this stood for prohibition
it's platform and notification by it's officials The democratic
has stood for resubmission and nulhcaon The liquor
interests liking the attitude of the democratic party BEST have
that this campaign The
license All the leading
democratic Portland Argus Bdde
ford Record Lewiston S Lewiston Sentinel Bangor Commercial
Waervle Sentinel for license the liquor Interests
buying much their advertising columns which has carried
While quite number
democrats will yield the demands
organization prohibition the rank
will with their party while all of the element in the
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-02-02
L0NGW0RTH, SWIMMER,
MAKES NEW RECORD

SYDNEY, n. S. w, Jan. 14.-Long-
worth the New South Wales swimmer
today clipped three and four ffths sec
onds off G. NJ. Daniels record for 1920
yards making the distance in 17:42.
Daniels record of 17;45 As was made
in New York city, February Is, 1907,
making siXtyGVc turns in tank.
IongWorth in the present competition
finished twenty-five yards in front of
Cecil Healy, the Australian holder of
the amateur record for 100 yards in
open water, and WHO in turn was one
yard ahead of f., L. Beaurcpairc of
Victoria, holder of the amateur record
for 1000 yards in open water
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-02-02
s: :: :;
FAREWELL AT THE PARK

The little Park Theater Is presenting
a week end program change which will
be the last for several weeks, owing
to the closing up of the thcater on
Saturday night The performers will
make complete changes in their acts
tonight. H.f u.ll
The lie Marest brothers are adding
to their eccentric musical presentations
and will continue to show how a piano
may be played by man standing on
stunt. ~ ..5.st
Winnie Baldwin is to sing more new
songs, ana Harding 4 WATSON win sing
songs of their own composition and
dance. The film service will be excel
lent throughout
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-02-02
:; :: :!
LAST NIGHTS AT
EMPIRE FOR GLADSTONES

is introducing for the last three nights
and three matinees-onc to be given
this afternCon-the Gladstone Sisters
This is their farewell week, for they
shortly return to the mainland. The
sisters are presenting their best aero
batic stunts for the week end, and are
sure of having packed houses each per-
Torrance.
The Five CoIumbians is the name of
Il now team OF five people who will
leave San Francisco on February l. to
appear at the Empire. Their act is not
duplicated ON the vaudeville stage
Matinee today.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-02-02
UNIQUE GAME
! FOR SUNDAY
Corks and Thespians in Fetch
! ing Garb Gambol On the
1 Diamond.

! Everything has been settled for the
great event of the year on the
baseball diamond, and on Sunday aft
ernoon the Boardwalkers and Corks
will start a contest at Moiliili which
will so down in the annals of local
sport as the only real baseball game
eyer played
For the past two weeks men for each
team have been tried out, and the cap
tins of the opposing mines now be-
ieve that they each have an invncibe
bunch to walk onto the diamond on
Sunday afternoon
Just look at the names for a moment,
names once great, and if they can
come back there is no doubt that the
rams will be amply repaid for the trip
TO the league grounds.
Here they arc
walkers-Demarcst, G.; McIvor,
p; Meeker, b.; Burke 3b.; Carroll,
3b. Stanley, e. Metcalr IT,; Bentley,
rfE; Greiner, S. All actors and SOU
brcttes who are at leisure on Sunday
will be kokuas, and this crowd prom
Uses to contain a lot of good material
Corks-Bert Bower, c.; Travis, D.;
Dick Sullivan, 1b.; Medciros, 2b Jerry
Cocker 3b.; Lemon, S.. Houghtailing
RI; Cannon, eff; Dunn, If. For kokuas
there will be lively bunch headed by
Larry TWomey, and including Lambert,
Mat lleffcrman, Bob Ross and Fred
Smith, all of whom will be in the game /
at some time, and possibly more than
once, for the bunch is going to play by
its own rules
;. special costumes will be worn by the
players. the Thespians going out in any
old thing, and the Corks with white
aprons tucked up so that there will be
no Interference with their leg work
when II comes to, running bases, While
in the field they can let their aprons
down to- full length.
EN- Gorks and would -Corks will
be. on the side lines to help their team
t{1victory and the same will be true
oNthe Thespian bunch, when all those
who have made good at Amateur
Nights in the, local playhouses, and
some who have not, will take an in,
terest in the fate of the actor bunch
and will do their best to cheer them on
to victory ovir their enemies, the Corks.
Pink lemonade and Peanuts will be
sold by dainty soubrettes to the fans
in the grandstand all to swell the
amount of money which will be turned
bver, it is understood, to Mrs. Ornelas,
mother of Tony the dead runner
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1911-02-02
FIERCE SHAPE
SAY MOTORISTS
Thus They Characterize Road
to HaIeiWa BY Way of
the Pail.

IF the sport of automobling is tt
receive its proper impetus on Oahu We
must have belt road around the is.
land" said Clifford Kimball of Hale.
iva Hotel in discussing the prcsen
road conditions.
Kimball came up from IIaleiwa in 8
machine yesterday ana said that the
road all the way in was fine, but
around the other side the word bog
was the most appropriate to describe
! the condition.
Several parties went out Sunday for
the trip around the island and those
WHO arrived at IIaleiwa by way of the
Pail arrived late, and some had diff
Guilty in arriving at all
From here to Haleiwa on the main
road by Lelehua nothing better could
be asked than the condition in which
this road is at present, in spite of the
rains during the past two weeks. say
the motorists who have made the trip
during the past few days.
1t is this way that most of the ma
chimes so now, and make no attempt
to Go the trip around the other side.
In view of the large number of mo-
florists who are now here from the
Coast and the larger number who will
be in Hawaii within the next two
months, the local enthusiasts believe
that something radical should be done
at once to make the trip around the
island Il delight to the visitors, rather
than q ride that they will look back
upon as never wishing to take again.
Many Of those coming on the Shrin-
ers excursion will bring their own ma
chimes, and those who do not will be
taken around the island by the local en-
tertaincrs.
1t seems to he UP to the local author
tiles to make an effort to put the road
in good condition at once, so that the
coming visitors can have nothing but
praise for motoring in. Hawaii
The local automobilists are going to
take steps themselves to induce the au-
thoritics to Go something on the road
which will make it more than passable,
it is reported but this something must
be Gone at once.