Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1911-04-13
MAI. PERKINS
Comes to Town and Attends a
Woman's Club Meeting, He
Makes Them Talk

what Gerusha told me. He said you
don't understand, mean place
where women meet to talk and eat and
said if you'll 60 round to my house
I'll show you one III full blast. | told
him | was not dressed for such an oc-
casion That | had on my seesucker
coat cottonade pants and hickory
shirt which would admit me into first
circles down at "Owl Holler" but |
needed something better here. He
said the ladies' said bring me and he
would fix me up it | would go. |
wor ked on my courage and would
have been glad Of two teaspoonEulls of
Peruna to tone it up little, but finally
got out to get a pair of shoes and it
soon developed that | had on the only
pair Of number elevens there was in
town. so had to call in the shoe black,
and his goose grease gave out be-
cause he said de shuze was so big,
and ! was forced to take another
nickIe Of Gerushas butter money to
get the job completed. Then he
tuck me down home and got his old
Prince Albert that he was married in
30 years ago, and he was a foot
higher and foot wider than was,
and the coat come down nearly to the
shoe tops, but it gave me a kind Of
preacher look and | didn't object; but
when | buttoned it up you could have
put in a ter year old boy without
crowdin' and we had to fasten a pill.
low on the inside and when care.
fully surveyed my remains in a biz
looking glass told him looked Ike
a United States Senator. About thi,
time the hostess sent word that the
time tor refreshments had arrived
and my appetite came in on the same
train, and | was as hungry as vol
and as empty as a last years Aou
barrel. ! had forgotten to eat an,
} dinner and my friends had treated
me 10 soda water till you could hea
it slosh as | walked around. Yor
know soda water has no staying quail
} tiles. You can get as much strengtl
from sitting out on the gate post an,
let the wind blow III your mouth
Good red Ticker would have left SOM
: a spirit in me for the trying ordea
that | was about to undertake.
| had been so busy arranging m
toilette that | hadn't thunk up nothir
, to say, but the man and the occa
! sion had met" and told him | wa
ready to be offered up On my curiosit,
to see a womans club in actor
The sight that met me as we move,
into the dining room was somethin
4 awful for a bashful man: fifty fin
! dressed ladies all standing around tn
table waing Tor me to make my IN
It timely debut into club society. H
+ SAID: Ladies, | have the honor O
r introducing to you Mai. Eli Perkin.
d the sage Of Owl HoIIer, who wi
S make few remarks before we tax
: our seats.
: ! had laced The cannon's mouth
-the sixties and had marched to met
y the invading foe on many battle
J. field, but had never tackled anythn
l. before that required as much genuin
u grit as this occasion; but my rep wa
"a at stake and that pillow went up an
d down like pair Of blacksmith 5 he
| lows as strove for enough breat
ct to keep me alive, and | wiped II
Mt sweat from my noble brow and pr,
ceeded to give EN- taIfy, the only sal
lie weapon to use on such occasions.
le SAID: Ladies Of the confederate
5 clubs OF this town, while | have m
Id many OF the greatest men and womt
ut in the United Siotes and have Sc,
ir everything from a circus to a Ianter
ut show, never bt.ore stood har hun
Iy and breeze shucken before Iiv
to true blue, up to date womans clul