davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-07-02
Caught.

A shopwaiker il large business
acted for his. severity 10 tie assistants
under him. one day stepped up TO &
counter from which ladyhke person
had just left gnserved.
YOU let that lady leave withoa:
making ans purchaser" be asked an
yrily of the meek looking young mat
responsible fo- the handkerchief de
partmenr sales.
Yes. sir r.
and she was at your counter fcii.
ten uinuteS:"
DC ubtless: but, then. you see
Exactly. saw that. liz spite Of al;
the questions she put to you. you rare.
iy answered her and never attempted
to get what she wanted"
well. BUT
''You need not make any excuse
shall report you for carelessness."
"Well. hadn't what she wartedr'
What was that?''
Five shillings. She was canvass
ing for subscriptions to an encyclope
London Globe
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-07-02
An Aquatic TRAGEDY.

When visitors came. Bobby was
often turned out Of his room and into
the garnet for night or two. He did
not object to this. but he felt that 1t
endangered certain cherished possess
sions. When his uncle. the clergy.
man, arrived Unexpectedly one night
Bobby was transferred to his garrett
quarters In haste and with small cere
monF. aud neglected TO take any pre-.
cautions to guard his treasures.
Il have TO thank the thoughtful per.
son who placed glass of water on the
tabie near the bed last hight" said the
,ierGy man the next morning. i
a|e=ia n the night and found it re-
lFeaa-;..; -Tnost refreshing"
OH said Bobby. in IA tone of sor-
row ani reproach. you've drinked
up Ht gre new 'quarium. and alp
But hare i:obby's revelation was sup
pr"~Sefi - his Youths Com
oan;":.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-07-02
YOUNG DUCKS.
They Have No Instructive Impulse =
Enter the Water.

They Have No instructive Impulse T.
Enter the Water.
I. has turned out Under The search
ing exrerinIentation OF recent years.
that much that We have supposed to
be instinct in animals is net instinct
at sal. For example. he young duck
proy es to have no instructive impulse
to enter the water. does not recognize
the element by sight and is. In short.
In precisely the same situation as
chick until. by happy chance, it gets
its legs wet. Wet legs. however, and
the lift of the water on the body at
once start up the swimming reaction.
and away sails the duckling. as chick.
ems and children do not.
The chick, on its part. has definite
instinct to peck at any small object
that catches it's eye. That takes care
Of its feeding. But the chick has no
corresponding instinct to drink and
would die Of thirst before It would
recognize water by sight alone. Drink
ing 1t has to learn for itself by peck
ing at dewdrops or spots of light on
the surface of the water Oh particles
at the bottom Of its cup. Even the
hen. contrary to general belief, proves
to have no instructive fear of the wa.
ter for her offspring. A hen that has
raised a few broods of ducks and seen
them take to the water becomes highly
distressed when a subsequent hatch Of
chickens do not swim. In fact. hens
have been reported under these cir
cumstances to lead their chicks to the
waterside and push them In Nc
Clure's Magazine
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-07-02
Who Got the 6abyf

Once upon a time a crocodile stole !"
baby and was about to make dinner
Of it. The frantic mother begged sc
piteously for the child that the croeo-
die said:
Tell me one truth and you shat
have your baby again"
The mother replied. You will not
give him back to me-"
Then" said the crocodile, "by our
agreement shall keep him. for II you
have told the truth l am not going to
give him back. and II 1t is lie l have
also Won.
But the mother said, If told you
the truth you are bound by your prom
Use. and If it Ii not the truth 1t will not
be a lie until you have given me lay
child"
Who got the babyl
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-07-02

- IA
E0t. Ii
m..Es5
var
lsbattd
3D. an
J.E'.sH|
fyxoM<,el
assas]
s..-.ss1
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$500
AA&EdA
nl'ss.ms]
Mss,..ln1
Eu'Aaa--]
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.u',l.')
1850
ts.es|
ss|ss.i'1
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s's''|.s''s||
F0ehI
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1851
l8lIaHE,|
&s'|
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-07-02

Long coats are not 70 be laid aslie tal5 spring
or sutfneF. rs o. Is IN, g9I III ,tIy
i.aeessaLE Si@+ mi NJ new NOES b ar b sa4Hn
a stfaighe ms sf' S1lhpe e,ee aos uars he
odd features OF g lAe very laise ieeers, pls
Collars an unit aie aons ami mse msSs
Shapes Inc Sit {! '.-;'S IL poi'uidI anu et
with one or mo; -. n:ns i2r Wn i oea hn
fross and "atS nae OF SILK praius or hahu-
some buttons aie to" :, .;, o.
Back satin IS tAs c tasnonaoe inater h lot pr,
dress coat. Is = Wlth d prs'!it. nut SUI
coior ana the - - coiial may ~ etii 49,
1raiaed or pea ed SAN ra]hii anu p'see ''i@A'
SATISFACTORY SIX COZ. 49,. -, =. .a.,rs
ATTRACTIVE netost Is are pelns hiue u isa.lT
pouoie, hoines21fl PH lie 800
eotns hoh!'G en- Ok eItlspals an oi"e SaroI
are Teabif i9hrifs Tor taEe, opeig fr r 10
service Hungarian ci2ss-suteH elii'I S
aYshiy used on ne handsome coi Goa ID oiaGa
SATIN or OF DFoa@ f' bis 'ialGu ieSsl Ia
sometimes wen cove! YIN d noa ut, Sn
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-07-02
His Own Valuation

"Belle tell, me Sha is sorry 40 ever
married YOU said y Young lady 10 the
husband Of her dearest friend
80 she ought TO be-" he retorted
'She did some aice girl ont of gooo
husband.'
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-07-02
NESTS IN GULF WEED
Breeding Place Of the Flying Fish In
the Sarqasso Sea.

ofeeotng race OF the F'yinq FISH IN
the Sargasso Sea.
In : the middle of the north Atlantic
there is an area of comparatively still
water almost equal to continental
Europe in extent and more or less
covered with floating sea weed. 1t was
known as the Mar de Sargaco to Co
iumhus and the early navigators and
Is the Sargasso sea of modern geog.
rapher.;.
The doating seaweed was formerly
supposed to have grown near the Ba.
nama and Florida shores and to have
drifted to its present position. 1t is
now, however, known to grow and
propagate itself where it is found. In
It are found giobular masses Of weed
containing fish eggs and known as Ash
aests-
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1911-07-02
Unhapojnees

They who have never known pros.
perity can hardly be said to be IN
happy. 1t Is from the remembrance ~
Joys we have lost that the arrows Of
affection are pointed Emile Zola.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1911-09-13
NOTICE OF sHERiFF's SALE

BY Virtue OF an Execution issued out
Of the County Court of Prowers Coun-
directed and delivered. whereby I am
commanded to make the sum of one
Hundred Twenty -three dollars damages,
aIAi the further sum OF Ten dollars and
Seventy cents costs l have levied upon
and VIII expose for sale atpubhc vendue
at the Court House door In said Coun-
~: on the 18th day Of September. A. ID.
1911. at 10 O'Clock A. NJ, TO the high
est and best bidder, the following
described property. to-wit One one -cyiin-
der REQ automobile. seized and taken
into execution at the suit OF Cora r.
strain. ct al. against A. a. k.ubank
Terms and conditions OF sale, cash
In hand at date Of sale.
John a. SIMPSON.
Sheriff OF Prowers County.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1911-09-13

Interest will cease on above
DAN e" school orders and bonds
after September 16. 1911.
J. O. STREAM.
County Treasurer
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1911-09-13
NOTICE OF REDEMPTION.

Offic- of County Treasurer.
Prowers County. Colo.
Aug. 16. 1911.
n ,tiee Is hereby given that l will
re DEF N at my office In Lamar.
Provers County, Colorado. all
School Orders numbered as follows:
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-11-01
sNUFF-DIPPING GIRLS.
NO. 10.

Look here, you little old ignorant,
backWoedsy, snuff dipping goslings,
I'm talking to you now. / know how
you slip out behind the house and
smear your mouths with that Internal
old nasty stuff Gee whizz! You must
have dogs stomach A snuff dip
per's mouth reminds me of the back
door of a lanyard If you have seen
other fool girls swabbing their tattle-
traps with solution of snuff and
slobber, can't imagine what you
saw about it worthy of imitation. The
habit is SO nasty and repulsive that
any decent girl ought to be ashamed
of it, and no respectable young man
wants sweetheart with bale of
snuff caked in each corner of her
mouth.
You wouldn't dare let your nanny
catch you dipping snuff, and you are
fools enough to think she will never
know. But that's where you are mis-
taken. Any NANNY with sense
Eenough to grabble taters or feed the
pig WI not be long about eatching
UP with you. And when she does
find it out, if she. is the nanny she
ought to be, she will remove every
thing but your hide, and then get a
| peachtree limb and proceed to re-
move about half of that.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-11-01
PROVERBS REVISED.

/ The proverbs of Pearson, the ed
itor of The Fool-Ki1ler.
2 My son, hear the instructions OF
this paper, and forsake not the advice
of it's editor.
8 The editor by wisdom hath
founded The Fool-Killer, and by un
derstanding hath built up it's circula
ton.
4 The fear of the Lord is the be-
ginning of wisdom, but the reading OF
The Fool-Killer is funny.
A wise man readeth and handeth
to his neighbor, and man of under
standing getteth up a big club.
Blessed is the man that sayeth
unto his neighbor, Look here! This
is a good paper DON'T you want to
subscriber"
And why wilt thou be cheated hv
strange paper, and pay thy -
to stranger?
Say not to the club-raiser, go,
and come again tomorrow, and / will
subscribe" !" when thou hast the money
in thy pocket
9 A funny paper maketh a glad
subscriber, but foolish paper is
heaviness to the reader.
10 The fning pot is for silver and
the furnace for gold, but The Fool
Killer killeth the fools.
II As vinegar to- the teeth, and as
smoke to the eyes, SO is The Fool
| Killer to the rascals and hypOcrites.
IL The fool wanteth his paper sent
on time, but the wise man payeth in
| advance.
13 Commit thy nickels and dimes
to my pocketbook, and thy subscrip-
/ tions shall be recorded.
Ia. Whosoever subscribeth to The
Fool-Killer shoWeth wisdom, and he
| that getteth subscribers is wise.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-11-01
SISTER CHURCH AND BROTHER
WORLD.

Time was when you could distin-
guish the difference between
church member and sinner by their
daily walk and conduct, but you can't
do it any more Sister Church has
taken the arm of Brother World, and
they go gallOping around together
dance. They galavant up to the
house of God together, and there they
sit snuggled up in the amen corner
looking as innocent as two pet rab
bits. A stranger would be sure to
think that the angelic pin-feathers
were sprOuting out behind their
shoulder blades. While the poor old
preacher is working for dear life at
the handle Of the old gospel pump,
the Church and the World sit there
with their mouths open like a gang
of young cat-birds, looking as sancti-
fed as an angels grandmother. But
as soon as the benediction lis pro-
Inounced these two inseparable com
lpanions, the Church and the World,
go hiking off to the devils stomping-
ground, where the gossips and the
toughs congregate, and there they al
I most rupture their leather lungs try
| ing to see who can reel off the biggest
and nastiest yarns.
Some people seem to have an idea
| that religion is thing that they can
| put on and off with their Sunday coat
that they can be saint in the
church house and devil everywhere
else. But they can't cram that sort
of doctrine down old Saint Peters
wind-pipe. When these dOuble-faced
| hypocrites get to the Golden Gate and
try to slip through on the sly, old
man Peter will grab chair-post and
i frail the devil out of them.
There's no seventeen ways about
it, a man simply can't serve God and
the Devil at the same time, neither
can he serve God one day and the
/ Devil the next. He must choose one
side or the other, and then stick te
it like puppy to root.
4 The profeSsed Christian who tries
to stand in with the world by doing
as the world does, will discover soon
er or later that he never did have
religion enough to save the soul Of {
chicken-louse.
i like to see man show his color'
by getting down in the dust with hi!
new pants on to lead in prayer. Ant
i it's all right for him to below "A
men!' every minute during the ser
mon If he wants to. All that looks
Il good to me. But when see tn
same sanctified sniperjack set him
self up as the ring-leader Of a gam
Of neighborhood rowdies, cracking
4 coarse jokes and spinning vulga
. yarns for the amusement o
said rowdies, / feel that somebod,
ought to get busy with a blacksnak
whip or a two-handed paddle wit
holes in it. ss
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-11-01

KEEP YOUR GUN LOADED.

Bust you internal gall-bag yelling
"Peace!" Peace!" but keep your gun
loaded
Yes, that's the dinktum
That's the way this housekeeping,
hell-bent generation looks at it.
Send great gang of bowling Hob
sons to Congress, and let them rip.
rant and raise general hell trying to
double the appropriations for battle
ships and other death-dealing devil
ment. Pay these fellows fat salaries
for doing this, and pat them on the
back and say, go it, boys! Give us
war! Feed us on blood and thunder!
Spend our money for guns and battle
ships and let us kill and be killed!
Great business! Bully fun Hurrah
for war;
And then spin right around on your
heel and announce the opening of an
International Peace Congress at The
Hague or some place else, and app
point a delegation of long-coated le-
gal lights to go there and pound the
/ air into. fine dust pleading for peace
and disarmament. The Gar of Rus
sia was the daddy of the first peace
congress, but when the second meet
ing came around old Gar Nick was
engaged in war with Japan and was
too busy to attend the peace meeting.
And such is life. While your peace
congress is over there whooping it
up for peace, your war congress is
| over here tearing it's shirt for war.
One raises money for a peace palace.
and the other digs up the dough for
| a few more Dreadnaughts, and it's nip
and tuck to see which can talk the
biggest, spend the most money and
get the least done.
And the flying-machine! Bless
| your blooming soul, the first thing
after learning to fly little, they be-
| gan to speculate about how useful the
thing would be in war If the airshiI
can't be used to commit wholesale
murder in the name Of war it must be
| pronounced failure. That's what
they would have us believe. It's 6
1 great bloody calamity when one lone
daredevil gets his headlight telescop-
| ed in trying to do the turkey -buzzare
tstunt across the eternal Alps, but i
| the thing can be used to sWipe Ou
! whole armies or cities in the twinkle
of Sleeps tail-that will be the
stuff, Eoxie.
1 In that beautiful and wicked city o
Washing gton, where more hell happens
in minute than in hell itself, WI
have a great Peace Palace standin,
right cab in the shadow of a still
greater War Palace, and the futte
of the Doves wings is drowned in tn
4 rattle Of the guns.
/ Wave an olive branch and vel
"Peace!" till the rafters of heavel
ring, but keep your gun loaded.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-11-01
THE BIBLE AND ITS ENEMIES.

A great deal of hot air is being
shot off these days about defending
the Bible against the attacks of the
atheists and infidels Why, bless your
soul, mister, the old Book don't need
any defending. Through all the past
centuries of darkness and doubt the
Bible has been taking care of itself,
and it is quite able to keep on doing
so. ~. "a. 8.
Every generation contributes its
little coterie of warty -souled wise
acres who swell up on their own little
bigness and try to disprove the truth
of the Bible. Each one has a new
method by which he is going to lam
bast the eternal tar out of the old
Book and relegate it to the limbo of
the dim and shadowy past. He makes
great splutter while he is at it, and
some of the weakened brethren get
scared and think the Bible is in dam
ger. But it isn't. These great thun-
der guns of infidelity, who turn them
selves loose against the Word of God,
always manage to blow their own
saw-dust brains out first. They spin
around few times like horse-fy
with pin in the seat of his pants, or
flee dog with a bone hung in it's
throat, and then their little earthly
spasm is over. They have not in
jured the Bible a particle, but they
have played everlasting smash with
their own poor, puny souls.
Any fool can go out in dry wealth
er when the sun is shining and wal
low in the dust and kick up his heels
until he is enveloped in cloud OF
dust and can't see the sun. But the
sun is shining right on, nevertheless
The Tom Paines and the Bob Inger-
soils of this world are just like that
they paw and scrape in the black dust
OF unbelief until they get their eyes
full and can't see the glorious light
OF truth The darkness is not in the
Book, but in the men.
So many of these worldly-wise
Wlggletails have tried to destroy the
Bible and failed that it looks like
they would quit after awhile. But ths
poor old Anticipated fools haven't go
sense enough to know when they arr
beaten.
See here, you self-made SolomonI
OF the doubling persuasion, you jus
might as well save your breath t,
cool your dumpling. Your kic1
against the eternal truth isn't payin,
dividends. You remind me of an oil
azor-back SOW trying to root tn
Rocky Mountains down.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-11-01

1t is stated on good authority that
II multi-millionaires own and con-
troll this country. Neither the Pres
ident nor Congress would dare to do
anything against the wishes of these
II men. And yet there are some peo-
pie foolish, enough to call this free
country. Oh, the dickens!
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-11-01

We American hypocrites send ship
loads Of Bibles to the heathen Chi
nese, and they make them into fire.
crackers and send them back for lls
to celebrate the birth OF Christ with.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-11-01
NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE.
VOL. ii.

Old Aaron made a golden calf
He made it, l allow,
Because he hadn't gold enough
To make a full-grown COW.
We're not much wiser than they
we're
Those Israelites of old;
We don't make ours up into calves,
But still we worship gold.
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1911-11-01

I ss....s. 80: =.
ossss.ss go -
8s5 : 80
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-16
new YORK C|TYS
GREAT CATHEDRAL
OPENS WEDNESDAY
Great Episcopalian Edifice,
Building for Is Years,
Will Be Dedicated on That
Date.
Continued From Page One)

At present only the choir and cross.
Ing. 240 feet long. 10 Ofeet wide, with
an interior height OF 100 feet in the
choir and 100 feet In the crossing, and
the two chapels st. Savior. the gift OF
August Belmont and st. COLUMBIA, err
ected In memory OF Miss Mary King
by her father. are completed. The
Cathedral. when completed. will be a
cruciform structure. $40 feet long.
1G5 feet wide across nave and aisles,
2s6 feet wide across the TRANSCRIPTS.
Its area will be about 100000 square
feet. At present three of the sides of
the crossing are closed by temporary
walls. which will be removed when
the other parts of the structure are
completed. II is impossible to say how
long II will take to complete the struc-
ture and 1t is estimated that its en-
tire cost will be more than 100000
900. The greater part OF this sum has
been contributed by wealthy patrons.
The maintenance OF the church will
cost about $4,000 a year according to
conservative estimates.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-16
REMONSTRATE ON
DITCH TILE SIZE

Residents and property owners of
the northeastern part Of Center town
ship were In the commissioners court
on Saturday. demonstrating against
the specifications for the Jackson and
Eliason proposed bitches. The speci-
fications for the improvement call for
ten inch tile to drain into another
ditch with a twelve inch tile and the
demonstrators claim that the larger
tile ditch is now overburdened and
can not Immediately carry off any
more water. 1t is probable that the
specifications will be changed and Is
or Is inch thing ordered.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-16

TAX COMPARISONS
A Century Ago o7Lz Paid Tax
on 100 Acre Farm.

A century ago owners of hundred
and sixty acres of real estate in
Wayne county, which was good for
farming purposes only, annually as
sisted in the support of the local. ter
ritorial and national government to
the extent of niety-seven and a half
cents. Now a farm of this size each
year nets to the different divisions of
the government approximately slGo to
$40, including improvents.
The authenticity of the foregoing
facts Is shown by tax receipts, some
over a century old, which county trea-
surer Albert Albertson exhibited on
Saturday. His grandfather Jesse AL
bertson located on 100 acre tract
in Clay township before 1910. That
year his taxes were 5 cents. but
whether on the land or not is not
known. as the ink on the slip is
now very dim. However the receipts
for taxes in the years 1S13-14-15 show
that he paid 97k tax on the land. The
receipts were signed by John Smith,
sheriff. The taxes on this same farm
in Clay township now amount to $3.50
The treasurer also exhibited a num-
Der Of other old heirlooms of his
grandparents. One exceptionally in
teresting exhibit was a pair of silk
knee length, which his
Daniel Williams wore on
the occasions Of each Of his three mar
riages. The hose are still in good
When his grandfather
was married, the custom was for men
to wear velvet knee breeches.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-16
HANDS CORN DOCTOR
HIS WOODEN FEET
(American News Service)

Massillon. O.. April 15.-Sam Nor.
gan. gate tender for the Baltimore &.
Ohio railroad. put one over on an
itinerant corn doctor today. Calling
at Morgan's shanty. the doctor dis
coursed on the wonders of his corn
salve. Morgan said that bis feet were
incurable.
MY dear sir, you are just the kind
OF person I make convert of every
time," returned the visitor enthusias-
tically, following with a profuse flow
of language.
Morgan listened mournfully. Final
ly he leaned over. turned some thumb
screws. removed one of his feet and
handed 1t to the doctor with, well.
go ahead and see what you can do"
They were Of wood.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-16

T'hsre 10 No medicine 80 safe anu ae the same
sg,c 20 plsasart to take DR.. CAidwell's Syr,'-
epsiu, the positive cure for all diseases arish.
ifo,n u ,m ach trouble. The price 10 very rsas.
/, az DO Soc and q.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1911-04-16

Sweet potatoes are exposed to the
attacks OF about a dozen serious in
sects.