The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1911-02-09
RUSSIA'S JESTER.
BaIakireff Is the Joe Miller of the
Muscovites.
HIS WIT TICKLEs THE BEAR.
He Was the Court Fool That Many q
Time Braved the Anger of Peter the
Great-His Miracle Of the Sword and
Wondrous Deed Of Daring.

around whom crystalline all the float
ing stories of Il people. Thus England
has its Joe Miller, Germany its Till
Eulenspiegel, Italy its Punchinello, the
orient it's Nasreddin ell Khoja and
Russia it's Balakireff. Like Joe Mil
ler the last was a real character.
though not all the jokes credited to
him were his own. Some were inven-
tons Of later age; others were Dor
rowed from the past. He shares the
credit for many of the latter with Joe
Miller and Eulenspiegel
History records that Balakireff was
the favorite jester of Peter the Great.
Tradition represents him as the con-
slant company of that car. frequent
" exercising his wit at royal expense.
One day, for example, a cousin of his
had fallen under the cars displeasure
and was sentenced to death. Balaki-
reff undertook to obtain reprieve
The car guessed his errand even be
fore he opened his mouth.
"Nor' he cried. ""Tis no use your
coming here l swear that l will not
grant what you are going to askr'
Balakireff dropped at once to his
knees. "Peter A!exelvitch," he cried,
81 pray you, put to death that scamp
of a cousin of miner
Peter. thus caught in his own trap,
had no choice but to laugh and send
pardon to the culprit.
On another occasion Balakireff ask
ed that he might be enrolled among
his masters domestic guards. Peter
consented for the sake of the joke,
the penalty if any officer of the
guards absented himself from his post
or mislaid his sword. Then to test
the volunteer he sent him up a tiagon
of wine to "mOisten his commission
Balakireff, as was expected, drank to
the Intoxicating point While he was
sleeping off his debauch the ear him.
self crept into the room and carried
off his sword from the scabbard. Rala-
kireff. though badly scared, on awak,
ing made shift to replace the missing
weapon with his own wooden imita-
ton Of the guardsmen's sword. lie
was called to parade next morning,
when Peter feigned hot Indignation
at the untidiness of one of the guards.
Captain Ralakireff," he cried at last
draw your sword and cut off the head
of that sloyen!'
Balakireff cast his eyes up to heav.
en-. "Oh, merciful Cod he prayed
grant that my sword may turn into
wood before l use it on one of my own
| fellow soldiersv'
And, 10. when he nnsheathed it the
| blade stood revealed as a wooden one
| Peter laughed heartily at the knave's
presence of mind and restored him tC
| favor.
A more serious Offense resulted in
| the banishment of the jester. "NeveI
dare to appear again on Russian soilv
stormcd the emperor. Judge then OF
Peters surprise when, a week later
| he beheld his old favorite coolly driv
ing cart past the palace.
How dare you disobey me?' shout
ed the enraged monarch. did l not
forbid you ever to show yourself on
Russian soil?'
"Nay." replied Balakireff, 81 have
not disobeyed you This is not Rus
sian soil"
How say you-not Russian soil:"
"Truly not This CARLOAD of e;,rtl
on which am sitting is Swedish soil
l dug it up in Finland only the Other
day
Again the car laughed uproariously
and readmitted his buffcon to favor
Some historians add that when hi
heard the excuse he said. eff Finland
be Swedish soil now it shall be Rus
sian before long" threat he was no
| slow to fulfill.
This story, however, was an old ons
long before the time of Balakireff. i
forms the twenty-seventh adventure
of Till Eulenspiesel. who is reputed t.
have died in 1850 Having offended
the Duke of Nuremberg, Till was 'for
hidden the land" He purchased q shil
Hng's worth Of earth to fill his car
with. and. being duly challenged by thu
duke. he answered:
"My gracious lord, am not in you
land, but i'll mine own, wherein / d
sit. l bought it of Il boor for shil
ling And rightfully could he sell it
for from his fOrefathers he inherited
it. So is this truly my land"
At the close of one of Car Peter
campaigns Balakireff overheard som
Russian officers boasting of exploit
they had performed.
Nay" he cried. II can tell bette
story than any Of you" And. bein;
pressed for the story, he continued:
"Never have liked this modern wa
Of fighting all in body together
Surely it would be more manly TO
each to stand by himself Therefor
went | out alone in search Of adver
lures. One day while reconnoiterin
near the enemy's outposts l espied
Swedish soldier lying on the grounf
Before he could rise and give tn
alarm / rushed upon him and wit
one blow from my sword cut off hi
right foot
You foolr' cried one Of his auditor.
",Vhy did you not cut off his head?'
so would | have done" retortc
Ealakireff, except that somebody els
had already done t."-Washingto
Star.
DIR. e. G. Allen. Of Shrevenorf
Announces that he has opened an offic
in the Cooper Building. DR.. Allen is