The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1911-12-25
SPORTING
SIDELIGHTS
By BILL BAILEY.


Was Santa Claus good to you?
Stove league going full blast these
days.
columbia Defeats Harvard at Chess"
is headline in Sunday paper. Action at
last. We were wondering when the chess
league would jump into the limelight.
So the Maryland Aggies are to be
taught boxing by Kid Sullivan. While
the Kid is about it, he might instruct
the football men how to box opposing
tackles This joke will appeal to "Murph"
King.
Vigilants and AIl-Star scholastic teams
did not play yesterday, but are sched-
uied to clash next Sunday, providing it
doesn't snow.
With Martin Becker. Tom Crooks, and
Big Six Brewer all playing ball on the
Bridgeport club next summer, local fans
will keep an eye peeled on the Connect
cut League scores.
Jim Rose says that Toney sousa's
twenty best amateurs is a bum selec-
ton
What's the matter with the soccer foot
ball players? The Capitals young Eng
lishmen miss the cries of kick i'm in
the shins," Pass me the ball, old chap"
Get going there, you soccerites.
WHAT THE SPORTS WANT IN THEIR soX.
Tommy Lowe-A new ear.
Beckett, Y. VI. c. A.-Smebody he can beat at
tennis
Gririth. Of Nationals-Ran club to match goat
mascot. said mascot batting $50 in the Tin Can
League.
Pat O'Connor-Joe Turner'S Northern records.
Doc Gessler-A bat with few hits in it.
Frencby-His name out OF the papers.
W. C. ThacheT-An automobile that runs
John Enthusiastically to collect certain bet
Mike Stuart-A good photograph of Bill Foley.
Harry Shurtlef-A marine team capable of win
ming pennant.
De Yo-Another pair Of glasses
Hamner-Some one he can beat bowling.
f. WilsOn-A championship hop scotch team at
Central
George Van Dyne-Fitz Reuters good looks.
Jim O'Shea-The eloquence Of Jimmy Kelley.
George McBride-Another good year at shortstop.
The remainder of our friends will be
remembered New Years Day when the
resolutions are printed. Watch for them.
Looks like a sad Christmas to Amer
icas White Hopes. Jack Johnson has
returned from the continong.
Wonder how many of the boys will give
her a diamond ring or a pearl necklace
and get a pair of red socks in return.
Bugs" Raymond, according to the
Spotlight Man." has a nonrefillable bot
tie. He took a bottle to gin mill, but
didn't have the price. He couldn't re-
ill it.
Percy Given says he didn't say it. Il get
yer, Steve"
The following from Jimmy Isaminger.
the Quaker City poet, are worth reprint
ing:
Young Erne will not wear an overcoat
while fighting in the ring.
The Athletics are baseball champions
OF the world.
Horace Fogel does not own or drive a
biplane.
Sherwood Magee does not play baseball
in December.
Eddie Collins is not yet sixty.
Toughkenamon, Pa, has no franchise
in the American League.
The President OF the United States is
William H. Taft.
Samuel Gompers Is not member OF the
Union League. of Philadelphia.
The LusItania has never locked at
Trenton. n. J.
Pennsylvania Railroad demands rare
for carrying persons to New York.
Few sunf1owers are growing now in
upstate towns.
Booker T. Washington is a colored man.
J. Pierpont Morgan Is millionaire.
Napoleon Is dead.
There is no garage at the Philadelphia
roorhouse.
The battle OF Gettysburg had little ef-
feet on the Franco-Prussian war.
George Washington never had a ste
nographer or typewriter while President
OF the United States.
julius Caesar, although a big man of
his time, never sent or received a tele-
gram in his whole career.
Marie Antoinette had a decided aver
sion to motoring.
Richard III at one time was In the
market for a horse, but he failed to ad-
vertise and didn't get one.