The Ocala evening star., 1911-03-27
TOO MUCH FOR wIMPLE
He Could Stand the Weather Talk
No Longer

Mr.. Wimple paused on the thresh-
hold of the dining room Of his board
ing house, repressed a shudder and
walked in. AS he sat down he forced
his features to assume a smile but his
soul groaned within him.
Has not this been a beautiful day.
Mr.. Wimple," asked the doctor across
the table, pausing impressively be-
tween each word and syllable. Has
not this been a gorgeous day? Have
you not felt inspired by the day? o,
| think it has been such a superb day"
ITO one who knows the law said
the Lady Who Had Studied Occultism.
every day is a perfect day"
But surely" said the Argumentative
Young Man, surely, Mrs. Spratt. there
are times
NO such thing as timer' exclaimed
the Occultist, rolling her orbs Don't
you know where it says that a thou
sand years is but as yesterday and
Yes, yes said the \. V NJ, but at
the same time it says that Methesulah
| lived for nearly thousand years
and"
co. she replied. later translati tions
give an entirely different meaning to
the word"
| But all the same" said he.
here's the earth revolving in space
every 90"
"There's no such thing as space"
said she, shaking her head
| rs there no world. them" he de-
manded.
"Ah, you're young" she answered
| him, speaking in the tones of the
| tomb, but when you get TO be as oil
as 1 am you will know that nothing is
real All-an are dre-e-e-eams.'
| Mr. Wfmple checked temptation to
say, Wake up, then" while the \. Y.
NJ. wagged nis head over his soup in
a scornful. sardonic sort of way.
'Is this soup a dream" he suddenly
| asked. rs food dream?" he con-
tinued. charging his premises with
wave of his spoon. IF so, Mrs. Spratt,
why do you eat?'
And he looked around the room as if
to say, '"Theres a sticker for the old
girl?"
Some food" said the Witty Person
'is a nightmare. Tee-hee- hee-hee!
Tee-hee-hee! Tee-hee! Tee
| Il did all the cooking at the camp
this summer" said Mr. Wallaby, eager
ly. Il can cook bacon and eggs"
20, l think it has been a lovely
l day." exclaimed the doctor, turning to
his neighbor "A grand day! In fact.
one might even go so far as to say
that it has been a bully day, Every
breath in-vig-o Grating, Every breath a
living joy"
1--WE know so little" despaired the
Occultist All, if we only knew the
law: ah. if we only had faith"
Faith" said the Trite One, moves
mountains"
But" said the Witty One, while all
hands but Mr.. Wimple sniggered al
ready in anticipation-"but it doesn't
pay the rent! Tee-hee-hee, Tee-hee
hee, Tee -hee-hee"
81 can make coffee, too" said Mr..
Wallaby.
"Now. take a dark. gloomy day"
slowly chanted the doctor, 'and some
how. in some mysterious manner
we all feel dark and gloomy. but a
day Ike today has been-
odd you go shopping today?" ask
ed The Lady with Her Hat On. Yes -
said the Lady With the Soulful Eyes.
"and. o. those salesgirls get worse and
worse")
That's it exactly" exclaimed the
Occultist. ITS just how you feel!'
Not at all" replied the doctor. with
the air of a man who has thereby
proved his point. Not at all!''
For instance" said the Argument
Eative Young Man. eff l had a headache
and were to feel that my head was GO
ing to split, would it split?"
What have l suffered from head
aches" cried Grandma Grampus. lift
ing her nose from her food. nobody
knows but myself"
They don't seem to care whether
they wait on you or not" said the Lady
With Her Hat On.
And they are so insolent with il,
too" said She with the Soulful Eyes.
There was a man once said the
Witty One. who boasted he had never
had a headache in his life. Tee-hee-h hee,
Tee-hee, Till finally someone told him
that he had no brains to ache. Tee
hee-hee-hee-hee! Tee-hee-hee! Tee-hee.
Tee"
"Flapjacks. TOO" said Mr.. Wanaby.
Mr.. Wfmple arose. excused himself
left the room. seized his hat, clapped
it on his head and hurried down the
street. Five minutes later he strobe
into the presence of Miss Pettiger like
a man who will no longer be denied.
why. Mr.. Wimple!"
Il want 70 ask you a question
Lucy"
Er-yes-Charlie?
How much do YOU suppose it takes
70 run a house,"
Just a moment" she whispered
She ran into another room. kissed
her mother, murmured, He has done
it, cut caper and ran back again
She sat down on the sofa. making room
for him beside her. and turning 10 him
with a beaming countenance she be
gan:
Now. first Of all. Charlie. there's the
> rent-"-New York Sun.