The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1911-06-06
ITS HUMoR is SOOTHING.
Try Light Diet of the Congressional
Record Once Every Few Days.

'SSS'N O'iNS GNCIy TcW lays.
Washineton-Th They who think the
congressional record a dismal pubi-
cation, given over to partisan politics
and personal squabbles do that inter-
estng publication grave injustice.
II may not be as vivacious as the parti-
cclored comic weeklies chiefly seen in
barber shops, but there are many who
prefer its humor to that of London
Punch. \ really talented editor of a
comic supplement could do great
things with the humorous ma
terial in its columns.
Here, for example, comes J. Thomas
HELM of Alabama to talk about the
farmers free list bill. One might as
well expect to find humor in Calvin
istic sermon. But repreaching the re-
publicans for their boasts of what they
have done for the farmer, Mr.. Hefin
contributes this anecdote-you have to
hear Tom" tell it in his inimitable
cclored dialect to fully appreciate it
The farmer feels your tariff bless
ings about like the old colored man
did the possum. Old Rastus went out
one night and caught big fat possum.
He cleaned him good and put the oven
on a bed of rosy Goals. And he laid
the possum in the oven and put some
yam potatoes around him and some
butter and pepper and salt.
Then old Rsstus said: I'm gwine
ter lay down here fer little while
and I'm gwine to dream erbout eatin'
dis rossum, and den I'm gwine ter eat
i'm shore enuf and I'll enjoy i'm
twice
so old Rastus fell asleep. Sambo
came along and smelt the possum
cooking. He looked in and saw old
Rastus sound asleep. He lifted the
oven lid and took the possum out. He
was baked brown. smoking and smell
ing good Old Sambo ate him. He
took some of the grease and smeared
il on the mustache of old Rastus and
put little on his chin, a little on his
hands, and piled the bones down be
side Rastus's head, and departed.
"Rastus finally awoke and said
'Sholy | amt eat dat possum. Sholy
! amt eat i'm. But heah's grease on
my lips and grease on my hands and
bones lyin' by me- Then, pressing
his hand gently against his stomach,
he said: If did eat dat possum he
weighs lighter on my constitution and
has less influence wild me dan any pos
sum dat Use ever eat in nah bon
days"
Uncle Joe" Cannon, even in this
period of eclipse. has not lost that
sense of humor which is one of his
many saving graces. He scorns dem
ocratic pretensions to unprejudiced
tariff reform, and inquiring why not
free rice if there is to be free wheat,
launches this tale:
"I am reminded in this connection
of an eminent member of this house,
now dead and gone. With three or
four drinks his tongue would become
loosened. and one day at Williard's
(hoteD he fell into conversation with /.
Judge Ella of New Hampshire.
said he: Judge. recollect very
well our service together in the con-
sress.' The judge replied: oh. it was
most pleasant to me. We were on
opposite sides of the house, but we
were both called watchdogs Of the
treasury His friend answered: so We
were: so We were And. having had
the fourth drink, he continued: But
We always had the true instinct of
good watchdog-we knew enough not
TO bark when our friends were
around "-Phiiadelphia Bulletin. |