Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1911-03-17

says |, you've got a necktfe on; ana
you speak a senselesss kind Of indoor
drivel that reminds me Of store
keeper or lady. You look to me like
you might tote an umbrella and wear
suspenders, and go home Of nights
1.-The little woman says Perry,
has made some improvements, be-
lieve You can't understand, Buck.
haven't been away from the house at
night since we was married
eve talked on awhile, me and Per
ry, and, as sure as I live, that man
interrupted me In the middle of my
talk to tell me about six tomato
plants he had growing in his garden.
Showed his agricultural depreciation
right up under my nose while I was
telling him about the fun we had tar
ring and feathering that faro dealer
at California Pete's layout! But by
and by Perry shows a flicker Of sense.
"'Buck,' says he, I'll have to admit
that it Is little dull at times. Not
that I'm not perfectly happy with the
little woman, but man seems to re-
Now, I'll tell you. Mariana's gone
visiting this afternoon, and she won't
be home till seven o'clock. That's
the limit for both of us-seven O'Clock.
Neither Of us ever stays out a minute
after that time unless we are tUgeth-
err Now, I'm glad you came along,
Buck says Perry, for I'm feeling just
like having one more rip-roaring razoo
with you for the sake of old times.
What you say to us putting in the
afternoon having fund like it
fine says Perry.
81 slapped that old captive range
rider half across his little garden
"*Get your hat, you old dried-up al
ligator,' I shouts-'you amt dead yet.
You're part human, anyhow, IL you
did get all begged up in matrimony.
Wen take this town to pieces and see
what makes it tick. Well make all
kinds of prof1igate demands upon the
science of cork pulling. You'll grow
horns yet, old muley cow says I,
punching Perry in the ribs, If you
trot around on the trail of vice with
your Uncle Buck
cpl have to be home by seven,
you know says Perry again
"'Oh, yes says I, winking to my
self, for I knew the kind of seven
o'clock Perry Rountree got back by
after he once got to passing repartee
with the bartenders.
1--WE goes down to the Gray Mule
saloon-that old 'dobe building by the
depot
"'Give it a name says I, as soon
as we got one hoof on the footrest.
'Sarsaparilla,' says Perry.
"You could have knocked me down
with a lemon peeling
Insult me as much as you want
to- says to Perry, but don't startle
the bartender. He may have heart
disease. Come on, now; your tongue
got twisted. The tall glasses I or
ders, and the bottle in the left-hand
corner of the ice chest
'Sarsaparilla,' repeats Perry, and
then his eyes get animated, and I see
he's got some great scheme in his
mind he wants to emit.
Buck he says, all interested, TIL
tell you what! I want to make this a
red-letter day. I've been keeping close
at home, and I want to turn myself a.
loose Well have the highest old
time you ever saw. Well go in the
back room here and play checkers till
half-past six
ST leaned against the bar, and says
to Gotch-eared Mike, who was on
watch:
"'For Gods sake don't mention
this. You know what Perry used to
be. He's had the fever, and tho doc
tor says we must humor him.
"'Give us the checkerboard and
the men, Mike says Perry. Come
on, Buck, I'm just wild to havo some
excitement
"T went in the back room with
Perry. Before we closed the door,
says to Mike:
"tDont ever let 1t struggle out from
under your hat that you seen Buck
Caperton fraterna1 with sarsaparilla
or persona grata with checkerhoard,
or I'll make a swallow-fork in your
other ear.
1T locked the door and me and Perry
played checkers. To see that poor,
old. Inundated piece Of household
bric-a-brac sitting there and Singer
ing out loud whenever he jumped
man, and all obnoxious with ANNA
ton when he got into my king row
would have made a sheep dog sick
with modification. Him that was once
satisfied only when he was pegging
six boards at keno or giving the faro
dealers nervous prostration-to see
him pushing them checkers about like
Sally Louisa at school children's
party-why, was all smothered up
with modification.
"And / sits thete playing the black
men. all sweating for fear somebody
knew would find 1t out. And / thinks
to myself some about this marrying