Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1911-08-31
A Tin PeddIer'S
Love Story
He Found a Man Who Didn't
Understand Woman
BY JOSEPH B. HUGHES
Copyright by American Press Asso-
citation, 1911
by American Press Asso-
citation. 1911.

GOODS 10 women. l was SucceSS1ul
tin peddler. The statement may seem
superfluous 10 story. but it is quite
important in this one Only one who
understands the idiosyncrasies of wo-
men could sell them tin or any other
kind of goods. Ergo, /. being sue
cessfu tin peddler. must understand
women. But the main reason why /
think understand them is because
know | don't
On one Of my tours struck n young
bachelor farmer and concluded to stop
ali night at his house. He had no
woman to do anything for him, and
be cooked and took care Of the house
himself | asked him If he didn't
need helpmeet
Stranger" he said, dring up at once,
do you mean to insinuate that |
might better take a woman into these
premises?"
What is the objectionP
1.-THE objection is that they're the
most rantankerous. deceitful, pryin',
palaverin' creatures in the universe.
l wouldn't trust one on 'em within
forty miles of me-"
perhaps you've been crossed in
lover"
81 dunno what you mean by bein'
crossed in love, bat if it's fooled in
love I've been that twict"
had finished my supper, and my
host had put away the dishes. which
meant that he put them without wash
Ing into a big closet. He told me that
he washed dishes once week by car
rying them i'm his farm wagon to
the middle of the creek There he did
the work with a mop I offered him a
cigar. which ne declined and brought
OUT a cob pipe Since I had an even
Ing before me with nothing to do
encouraged him TO talk
How have you been fooled in love"
1 asked him
ut was this away was born on
this farm. and when / wasn't but six
teen man bought the owen farm.
about two minutes down the road
He had a little gal about two or three
years younger than me. she was the
slickest thing you ever seen; mighty
straight little figure. dresses not far
below the knees and two pistails be
hind tied up with ribbons. | never
was gals boy and didn't care any
thing about her When | met her on
the road | used to go on the other
side. Onct when | passed her no
ticed her lookin' sideways at me like
a robin or a chipmunk. When she saw
in ot ha hn
on TO the road and you'd a thought
butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.
Zone day when | was fshin in the
creek / heard some one just below
windln' in a reel and. lookin through
the trees. saw Mary Owen castin' in
line. jist fshed on. payin' no at
tention to her First thing ! knew |
heard a cry. | left my fshin' pole
layin' on the bank and went to see
what was the matter. There was
Mary holdin out her thumb with
hook In it. The barb had gone into the
flesh so far that it must be cut out.
/ TUX out my knife. opened a sharp
blade and by dom some slicin' into
the thumb took out the hook | must
"a hurt pretty bad. She KEEP up till
the job was finished. then she fell into
my arms with her head on my shout
der.
1T didn't think so then. but since I've
been satisfied she just pretended to
faint on purpose. That's the fust les
son In the deceitfulness o wimmen-
kind / ever had. Even this little gal
kid wasn't willin' TO let a boy about
her own age alone. he goin his way
and she hers.
WAL, when she come to or per-
tended to come to herself she was lyin'
In my arms lookin' up in my face.
One faintin' want enough. so she
had to faint agin. The reason for this
was that my lips want more n a
couple o. inches from hern. and |
reckon she tainted the second time SOS
to give me chance to kiss her.
"Waal, done 1t. like a fool, and it
tasted so good l done 1t ag'in and
ag'in. reckon If I'd KEEP on she'd
stayed unconscious all summer. When
she opened her eyes ag'in she pertend-
ed she didn't know I'd been kissin'
her. / tied up her thumb with her
handkerchief and told her to go home.
But she didn't She said she felt weak
and sat on the grass with her back up
agin tree.
I'VE sat there till supper time. Then
she went home, and | came back
home too. That was the beginnin' of
It. The next day went 6shin
again. | didn't care for the fish.
wanted to taste the little gals lips
ag'in. She didn't care for the fish in
the creek. She was fishin' for q boy
about my size. We done a heap of
fishin' after that till found the
kisses didn't taste so good as the first
ones | took. and about that time we
younkers organized a baseball team,
and l didn't go fishin' so much as I
had been doin'; consequently | didn't
see so much of Mary Owen.
Fact Of 1t was that wanted TO see
how much Mary would banker after