Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1911-08-18
MY NEW ALARM CLOCK.
Bl I.CE +. VERNON.


getting up early IN the morning, eX-
cept that it was case of necessity.
Though it has been my misfortune
through life to be compelled to be up
with the lark, as the saying goes,
though why the poor little lark gets
up SO early don know. Anyway
/ can see where the fun comes in.
| suppose, however, that this par
ticular bird being called lark it
must be done for a joke"
Personally, | cannot Imagine why
his superior beirgs have to follow
the example of the lark for. Its
what scientific professors would des-
ignate as an irresponsible atom of
society.
There is no necessity for it TO be
up and doing, So early in the morn
ing, i'll order to dodge the rent, groc-
cry, wood, coal or light collector.
The lark pays no rent or taxes. 1t
would not lose 4 nickel though it
should overstep itself.
Maybe it is Mrs. Lark's fault. |
dare to say female birds are rs cranky
as other females. Perhaps she hus-
ties husband out in the morning to
| look for worms or whatever else they
feed on. This is subject that
should be tackled by some of the
learned professors of the Chicago
University. It's too deep for me.
Yet | cannot see why we shouldn t
work longer in tine afternoon so we
might lie In bed longer in the morn
ing.
Now what put this in my head was
something | saw at vaudeville show
once in Olympia Theater. A coined
ian there was in bed, when the screen
was taken away. All of a sudden
the alarm clock commenced to ring,
ring and ring.
1t was so realistic that to tell the
actual truth | pulled my oat-collar
up around my neck thinking of the
cold. damp, foggy mornings at five
O'Clock.
Then the funny man" reached
out of bed, got a hold of his slipper.
and gave that alarm-clOck such a
wallop that it was knocked clear
across the stage, dented, bent and
put out of commission as a purveyOr
of Time, completely. Then he pulled
the clothes over his head again and
went to sleep.
laughed and applauded the com.
edian, for | Sympathized with him.
and admired his pluck, for many a
time | have had my shoe in hand to
do the same stunt, but refrained-l
didn t have the price for a new one.
AS to rising early, they say you
can get used to it, but I've been get.
ting up with the lark-the d
thing-for many years and | must
confess | love the institution less
now than ever.
OF course it is the same with nc
as it is with most wcrkIngmen--o or
holidays and Sundays when you have
the chance to sleep all day-yOu
won't do it, That's the bother of it
What | want is to remain in bed
when | have to get up. Do you see
now?
| have had an alarm. clock for .
long time. My father used to kick
me up. He needed no alarm.
never could understand it.
Still. as for my alarm-clOck, | have
been tempted many and many a tint
to throw the blamed thing out the
window, but being five-eighths of a
philosopher, | thought better of it,
and it's been good friend to me first
and last
However, a friend of mine, the
other day, told me about a clever
cOntrivance that would wake you
mornings, and have a nice, hot CUP
OF coffee at your bedside ready to
drink. Gee! l thought, that's all
right; | would like to try one OF
them.
My friend said it was somewhat
expensive, but he made one himself
and that was just as good as those
sold in the store, and he offered ne
the loan of it. | accepted his offer
with thanks.
The thing was complicated, and
when he arrived at my house to fiji it
up, really thought he was going to
make steam engine of some sort.
What time do you get up?" he
asked.
Five clock, - | replied.
Well. then" he said, when
this clock gets toquarter OF five it
lights this little lamp, see? The
lamp being lighted, it boils the wa
ter; then when the wafer comes to a
boil, the pan is gently tipped and
the water runs into this little coffee
pot which is already charged with
a maxim of coffee. Then in two
minutes the alarm goes off. and you
DO the rest.