davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30
Its an Auto"

you ask Ronald what he was swearing
about?"
No"
Did you ask him why he kicked
tat footstool up to the ceiling?"
No"
And when he said he wished he
had never got married, you didn't say
he could bet his bottom dollar that
you wished the very same thing?"
"a was shocked. you know.
And so made a Ounce of yourself!
7iStcr Katie, you are three years older
Aan AM, but I've got twice the
anse you have Oh, why can't get
,acrried and show the rest of the
:la:ly how to manage a husband!
ricliy, but you are a lot of geese!"
"Eu' father says did just right"
And he's a Ounce and mother ditto.
they'd known beans they'd have sent
80 right back and let you and Ron
u sulked for couple of days and
,heu made up. T;umph. Come run
aing bach home just because your hus-
baNl came home in a mood"
"Brt he hasn't come near me to
cay he's sorry" replied the, wife in
; voice that>Rad hit of a wall in it.
OF course not. He's the man of the
house. He's the It.. He didn't leave
yoH, but you left him. Why should
he cone craving to you? Oh. you
niLny of i wife!"
"B1t-hut what can do?" the wom-
an sobbeG
I'm drive you to your home instead
CT to lawyers Office, and you walk
right up to Ronald and tell him to
swear and kick over things whenever
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30
The Kaiser Likes the Bible.

The kaiser is a great reader, and
while he tries to keep himself abreast
Of current events, his favorite book is
the Bible, says the London Chronicle.
A we'll thumbed and marked copy is
always by his bedside. When Mr..
Roosevelt visited Berlin last year, the
kaiser made him a present Of a mum
Der Of books About half Of them re-
ferred to theology and the others to
military subjects. These two classes
indicate the kaiser's own preferences.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30

George AIDE. at luncheon in Chi.
caso. Fcid a gal ant compliment to a
well-known actress
Tho actress wore a harem skirt OF
the new flame color and Mr.. AIDE said
to her:
1T is pretty. And what an odd
color It is! Tell me the name OF the
color"
"Flamme de Vesuve-hame OF Vesu-
vius," the actress answered.
BE Jabers," said Mr.. AIDE, "ye make
a vurry purity crater"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30
Why FaIliere's Chef Left

his good dinners the best wines Of
Bouzy.
M. Loubet, too had good gifts Of
discernment. Although a provencal he
did not insist overmuch on the south
ern note in cookery. With M. Loubet
M. Tesche made the famous voyage
to Cronstadt.
But the crash came with the ad
vent of NJ Fallieres to the presiden.
tial chair, and after a few brief
months. NJ Tesche found that his con.
science bade him retire.
''It was garlic in every dish" said
M. Tesche. Garlic in tho soup. gar
lie in the entree, garlic with the roast.
garlic with the vegetables. And every.
thing had to be fried in Oil.'
After brief but impressive pause,
NJ. Tesche added:
There is still cook at the Elysee,
but there Is no longer a chef"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30
WILLING TO Support Proxy.

Albert Tiedemann, a freshman Of
the University of Pennsylvania, was
called upon to vote for officers in a
recent gathering. Not being we'll ac-
quainted with the nominees. he
thoughtfully hesitated before filling
out his ballot.
One of the company left the room
with the explanation that he would
"vote by proxy"
$50 will l." said Albert, and with his
pencil poised above his paper, leaned
over to a companion on his right and
asked:
"Say, what's Proxy's first name"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30
Tea Time In Chile.

Either tea or yerba mate is served
in Chile at 400 p. m, not only in the
homes but at clubs, restaurants and
hotels, and many business houses. A
cup of tea and a roll or small cake in
the club or hotel cost from eight to
twelve cents United States gold, while
the business houses serve it free
rather than have the clerks leave their
work or 90 out for it.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30
He Got the Pass.

L want pass.
"Pass? You're not entitled to a
pass. You are not an employe,
Sorry"
mo; but here the antipass law says
free transportation can be granted to
necessary caretakers of live stock,
poultry and fruit Well, I'm going on
this trip with an aunt that's a hen
there's your poultry; girl that's
peach-there's your fruit; and a
nephew that's a mule-there's your
live stock Gimme pass. THE Way
Bill.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30
More Than That.

The agent, bent on making a sale,
was trying to lead up to the subject
Il see that the typewriters you
USE" he said, ARE mostly Of the visi-
BILE kind"
'Visible?" said the head Of the
mercantile establishment, who didn't
quite understand him; "of course our
typewriters are visible-and when
they're not at work, let me tell you,
they are distinctly and persistently
audible"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30

Take Garfield Tea to regulate the liver
tud overcome constipation.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30

Sfrs. Winslow's Soothing syrup for Children
teethipG, softens the guns, reduces tuAamma.
ton, alays pain, cures wind collie PC a bottle.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30

Knicker-What do you know about
the recall?
Bocker-I believe in it for umpires.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30

Keep your heart high; that is the
sum Of philosophy.-Victor Cousin.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30

Friendship is one soul in two bod.
seS-DiOgenes.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1911-06-30
WAsro ths FlshIna Is oood.

NFtA@AR NNAN A.N~AtAfiI - NANAHa
Fishing" William Bowen OF Atchi-
son Is quoted as saying, is always
good on the other side OF the lake"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
Judge Denounces Sunday Entertainers

not the official set at all, but the old
resident set OF Washington. Until you
have been admitted to that particular
circle you are not really ''in society. :"
Mrs. Scott says:
think II is an outrage that SO
many OF the leaders OF society here
should desecrate Sunday by giving
large teas. dinners. musicales and 9th
er entertainments. The custom was
brought here from the continent and
has been growing ever since. II al
lowed TO continue II will undermine
the life OF this country and bring ruin
on us. | think that Sunday should be
observed above all else, and that this
continental habit should be stopped
agree perfectly with Justice Harlan
In all he said"
The custom Of dinner giving, mu-
sicale entertaining and all that kind
OF thing on Sundays was really intro
duced in Washington by the Baroness
Hengelmuller. wife OF the ambassador
OF Austro Hungary. II will be remem-
bered that Baroness Hengelmuller
only a few weeks ago gave out n
screed against the "slowness" OF
Washington society and the lack OF
sprightliness and spirit In the matter
of entertaining here, which got her
into no end OF trouble and sent her to
bed with a serious nervous illnesa
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
Attempts at Suicide Ignored in Army

the service. said General Davis, that
this offense is not punishable by court
martial, although test case never
has been brought up.
General Davis declared that at
tempted suicide is technically consid-
cred crime in the army and navy.
1T is a fact that. although many
men and officers OF the army and
navy have attempted suicide. not one
OF them has even been court mar
tailed" he continued Just why
this should be do not know
In both the army and the navy at.
tempted suicide is considered crime,
but has never been officially recogniz-
ed as such. Both branches OF the
service frown on the practice. how
ever.
The case in Germany. where EN-.
peror William pardoned Count Hans
Won Preill after he had been convict.
ed by court OF honor for this OF.
tense, cannot be compared to similar
cases in this country, because suicide
is looked upon differently there. In
Germany an army man who commits
certain offenses is almost expected to
commit suicide. and therefore they
would naturally be more lenient there
In the United States a man who tries
TO Kill himself ls looked down upon"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

MI. JUSTICE HARLAN, associate
VA Justice OF the Supreme court OF
&c United States. rather startled so
ety women of Washington and New
ork the other night when at the an.
ual banquet OF the Presbyterian ALI.
nee OF Washington he declared that
mere are a lot OF snobs who have
ONE down here from New York and
her cities Where wealth is para.
count and have set up customs which
~ Injurious to the people OF this
Immunity. Sunday afternoon teas.
usicales and other social functions
~ In my mind. a desecration Of the
aobath. Something must be done 10
I'm the tide Of depravity which will
herwise sweep over us"
Then this sweeping rebuke TO soci.
~ In Washington Is in q measure
mly upheld by Mrs. Mathew t.
ao't. president general OF the daugh.
~ the American Revolution and
VI one Of the cliff dwellers' set.
Z known the cliff dwellers are
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
NfAQXGIIl}A|isRIl1HfE
Az Et55lIR |9|ll''5 ~
Plans for Fortifications at Panama

will be completed by January. 1916
the date set for the completion OF the
canal itself
Brigadier General Crozier. chief Of
ordnance. has already drawn up plans
for the manufacture OF the $1,000. 900
worth OF guns and mortars required.
These viii be made at the govern.
ment shops at Watervliet. ~. Y. The
entire armament will be used In for
tifying the two ends OF the canal. no
provision having been made by con-
gress for the defense OF the locks and
dams. Two sets OF Notifications will
be placed at the Colon end OF the ca
nal and one set at the Panama end.
Four l4-inch rifles, eight 12-inch NOR.
tars and six six-inch guns will be
placed at the Panama side and the re-
mainder which the balance OF the ap-
preparation will provide at the Colon
end
Comparatively strong natural posi-
tions exist at both the Atlantic and
Pacific ends OF the waterway for de-
Tense against a land enemy. Nmcn
bay, the Colon entrance to the canal.
will be strongly fortified and fortifica-
tons will be set up on Perico island
and at other points
Plans for the protection OF the
docks at Pedro Miguel. Mia Flores
and Gatun are now being drawn up
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
ms SUICIDE
GAME NAMES
NE NERVOUS

TIE fact that although attempted
suicide is technically a crime in
certain states in the United States,
and civilians who violate the law are
usually punished by the courts, off,
GERS and enlisted men in the United
states army and navy are never
court martialed for this offense. was
brought to light when the news was
received from Germany that EN-
peror William had pardoned an army
oHoer for attempting suicide and de
CARED that his deed "can be Judged
neither BY regular or honor tribun-
ais"
zen. George b. Davis. Judge advo-
cate general OF the United States
a my. declared that since the or
of the army and navy OF
'he United States no officer or enlist
4a man had been punished for trying
.o Kill himself. II is a generally un-
lerstood custom in 10th branches of
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

IU ASHINGTON-Work on the final
w detailed plans for the fortifica-
ton OF the Panama canal, for which
an appropriation OF 100000 was
made by congress and which had been
the subject Of wide discussion, nation.
al and international. ever since the
digging OF the big ditch was undertak.
en- by the United States government,
has been begun here by Brig. Gen. w.
H. Bixby. chief OF engineers. and Brig.
Gen. Arthur Murray. chief OF the coast
artillery. Officials Of the war depart.
ment have already completed general
plans for the fortifcations but maps
will have to be prepared setting forth
the details for the construction work
before the ground can be broken. and
II is this task which Generals Bixby
and Murray are now undertaking. Ac
tive work on the building OF the forti-
tications will begin about July. II is
expected by the officials in charge
that the fortifying OF the waterway
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
Not a Penny for Pressing Trousers

question as TO what are legitimate
travelling expenses and what are not.
Not so very long ago Chairman
Burnham left Chicago for Washing
ton. 10 attend a meeting Of the fine
arts commission. Anxious. as its
chief. TO uphold the aesthetic and re-
fined nature Of this organization. he
found on unpacking his wardrobe
that many OF his articles OF clothing
were in imperative need OF a presser
before they would be in shape TO do
credit to the vista OF Pennsylvania
avenue
Without giving the matter sec
ond thought. he turned the tailor's
bill, with his railway ticket and Pull
man expense, over to the treasury de-
partment. expecting to be reimbursed
The bill amounted to S475 and the
auditor certified II, as matter OF
course
Not so. however Controller Robert
]. Tracewell- Insignificant name-who
can. on occasion. be considerable OF
a watch dog OF the treasury. Mr..
scrutinized the bill. repeat
ed the performance. and then. after
some deep thought. wrote out a for
NAL opinion as follows:
The pressing of clothes has never.
to my knowledge. been held TO be a
personal expense. occasioned solely
by travel"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

MILLIONS for art and not one
lfl penny for pants,
The solicitude that Uncle Sam dis
plays that the public buildings and
driyeways OF the national capital shall
be maintained in the most artistic
and approved style does not extend
TO his public men Uncle Sam is per
pecuy willing to spend loads OF
money for capital city plans. for guar
anteeing that the Washington OF the
future shall be patterned after the
most careful and exact designs, but
when II comes TO paying out money
70 make certain that the trousers of
the government officials are creased
properly and their clothes in as apple
PIE order as the capitals streets. he
draws a distinct and impossible
line.
This might never have been found
out II II had not been for Daniel II
burnham. Of Chicago. master city
Ilanner and chairman OF the fine arts
commission. incidentally he raised a
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
FRENCH BEAN COFFEE,
A HEAlTHFUL DRINK

The healthiest ever: you can grow
IL In your own garden on a small
patch 10 by 10. producing 90 pounds or
more. Ripens in Wisconsin 80 days.
Used In great quantities in France,
Germany and all over Europe Send
10 cents in stamps and We will mail
you a package giving full culture d.
rections as also our mammoth seed
catalog free. or send 81 cents and get
In addition TO above 10000 kernels
indispensable vegetable and flower
seeds-enough for bushels OF yege-
tables and flowers. John A salzer
Seed Co. 1872 S. sth St. La Crosse, Wis.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
WILING TO Tell IL.

The check which the comely young
German handed in at the window OF a
Walnut street savings fund bank the
other day was made payable to Crotch
en- Schmidt, and she had endorsed 1t
simply Gretchen Smith. The man at
the receiving teller's window called her
back Just as she was turning away to
rectify the mistake
'You don't deposit this quite this
way" he explained. See, you have
forgotten the h."
The young woman looked at her
check and blushed a rosy red.
'Ach. so haf," she murmured, and
wrote hurriedly:
age 23."
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
FREE SAMPLE OF LAXATIVE
CURED THEIR CONSTIPATION

When person has become discoura ged
through years OF failure to find a cure.
and finally. perhaps. gives up trying. II
is small wonder that lie becomes skep-
teal. And yet. TO all who have con-
stipation. we would say. Try just one
thing more"
We wish you would try DR. Caldwell's
Syrup Pepsin. a laxative tonic that has
been used for a generation. Thousands
are using IT; surely some OF your friends
among the number You can buy Il OF
any druggist at fifty cents and one dol
lar a bottle, but better still send your
name and address to Or. Caldwell for "A
free sample bottle. He will send you
enough 10 convince you Of its merits. and
then II you like IL you can buy 1t OF your
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

The Italian government. on account
OF the number Of tuberculosis cases
among the Italian emigrants sent back
from America. has appointed boards OF
examiners in the seaports, whose duty
II is to report the arrival of tubercu-
lous persons. These are then kept I'M
der observation in those places where
they settle, to prevent further spread
Of the disease. The erection OF new
sanitoria and other tuberculosis insti-
buttons is being urged in Italy. and
the number Of beds for consumptives
has been considerably increased in diff
ferent places
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

druggist Mr. J. ]. Petty OF Unionville.
Mo. Mr.. George W. Zimmerman Of Har-
risburg Pa. and many others OF both
sexes and IN all parts OF the country first
used sample bottle and now have IL
regularly in the house
You viii learn TO do away with salts.
waters and cathartics for these are bur
temporary reliefs while Or. Caldwelrs
syrup Pepsin is guaranteed to cure per-
mancntly. 1t will train your stomach and
bowel muscles so that they will do their
work again naturally without outside aid.
Cast aside your skepticism and try Syrup
Pepsin.
For the free sample address Or. w Il.
Caldwell. 20l Caldwell building. Moni-
cello. Ill.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
A Dramatic Critic.

And what is your fathers business,
my little MANI" asked Rev Fourthly,
as he made his morning call on the In.
FAINT class.
He's a dam-at-it kick-it,r said the
little chap. whose father wrote dra.
matte criticism for a newspaper
Harpers Weekly.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
DISTE MPER

In all it's forms among all ages of horses,
as well as dogs. cured and others in same
stable prevented from having the disease
with sPOHN'S DISTEMPER CURE.
Every bottle guaranteed. Over 6OO. 900
bottles sold last year $50 and 81 co. ANY
good druggist, or send 10 manufacturers
Agents wanted. Spohn Medical Co. Spec.
Contagious Diseases. Goshen. Ind,
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
up 70 Him.

Tom-I'm dead sore. lost s. to
day. ! feel like somebody ought TO
kick me.
Tess (absently)-Why don't you
ask father for my hand tonight-he's
right in the library.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

Whenever there is a tendency 70 consti-
patton, sick-headache or bilio1sness take a
cup Of Garfield Tea. All druggists.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31


lished testimonial or used a letter
without the written consent Of the
writer, and never has the Company
allowed these confidential letters TO
get out OF their possession, as the
hundreds of thousands Of them in
their files will attest.
Out Of the vast volume of experience
which Mrs. Pinkham has to draw
from, 1t Is more than possible that she
has gained the very knowledge needed
In your case. She asks nothing In re-
turn except your good will, and her
advice has helped thousands. Surely
any woman, rich or poor, should be
glad to take advantage of this gener-
Gus offer of assistance. Address Mrs.
Pinkham, care of Lydia E. Pinkham
Medicine Co., Lynn, Mass.
Every woman ought to have
Lydia Il. Pinkbam's SO-page
Text Book. 1t is not book for
general distribution, as it Is too
expensive. 1t is free and only
obtainable by mail. Write for
1t today.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

headaches. nervous and dizzy spells. was
restless at night and in the morning arose so
tired as to be almost unable TO do my house
work. The kidney secretions were unnat.
ural and gave me great deal OF trouble.
One day ! suddenly fell to the floor where
lay Tor long time unconscious Three doc.
TORS VINO treated me diagnosed my case as
paralysis and said they could do nothing for
me AS last resort | began using Doans
Kidney Pills and was permanently cured.
am stronger than before In many years and
In perfect condition"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets remla+e
md iny-gorate stomach. liver and bowels
Sugarc2ated, tiny granuies. easy to take
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
Colds and Chills Bring kidney Ills

February March and
fee
the matters of cold Dons Kidney Pills
the kidneys erevenc
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
FREE
ADVICE
TO WOMEN

Women suffering from any form OF
Illness are invited TO promptly CON-
municate with Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn
Mass. Allletters are received, opened,
read and answered by women. A Mo-
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

No woman can be happy who has
too much time to think of things that
are none of her business.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

1t must have been a spinster who
said that some widows wear heavy
wells to conceal their Joy
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

The vacant room at the top is due
to the fact that there is no elevator
service 10 help the lazy man
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
A<ens 10 Be Wrono.

Howell-Whatever is is right.
Powell-But suppose a fellow soaks
you with his left?
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

A woman who speaks but one Ian
guage usually talks enough for two.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

ONLY ONE "JROMO QUININF."
That Is LAXATIVE BROMO QT1NISE. Look fog
the Signature u b. W. GROVE Used the ord
over 10 Cure a Cold q One Day. Zc.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

Actions, looks, words-steps from
the alphabet by which you spell char
acter.-Lavater.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

Mrs Windows Soothing Syrup for Children
teething' softens the gums, reduces In famma.
ton, allays pam, cures wind collie 25c a bottle
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

Heaven won't seem worth while to
some women unless there's an occa-
sional bargain sale.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

Even the truth may be told with an
intention TO deceive.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31


man can freely talk
Of her private i'll
ness to a woman;
thus has been es-
tablished this con-
fdence between
Mrs. Pinkham and
the wo men Of
America which has
never been broken.
NnHar bnn che x..H
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31

neys, followed by stoppage Of the urine. |
called in physician, but he gave me only
temporary relief, by drawing the urine with
a cathster. | was soon in such agony |
could not lie in bed, and for four weeks sat
in a chair, propped up by pillows After
about a month. 1t seemed as IL something
burst and passed a regular food of water,
mixed with blood and mucus. After that
had ~ ri Of ~ ~.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
CONVINCING PROOF FROM GRATEFUL USERS

TERRIBLE CASE OF pRoPsY
Lebanon Ind Man Gives Vivid Description Of His SUFFERING
John I. Anderson 613 w Main St. Lebanon Ind says:
Il taken suddenly with agonzng pains through my
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-31
TEN YEARS OF SUFFERING

Restored at Last to Perfect Health by Doans Kidney Pills
Mrs Narcissa Waggoner Carterville ILL., r. f. d No @
says: For ten