davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening world., 1911-07-11
GIRL THRASHER
Of WASHER LOSES
Z ToJEALoUS Wife
Pounded With Hands and Feet
and Hair Plucked Out,
Says Miss Coomer.
A CAREER L T
Lured Into Theatrical Instruct.
or's Office and Attacked, Is
Victims Complaint.
STAGE CAREER HALTED.

Although she ehrashsd . masher on
Broadway and thereby secured not .
nttls fame, Anss Gertrude Coomer found
It differ ent when she went against .
woman. especially. as she says, the
woman was Jealous OF her. As q result
Of her new encounter. Miss Coomer,
who Is . beautiful girl from Blrrnlns-
ham. Ala. 10 In a serious condition At
the Hotel Calvert. Broadway and Forty
first street, and has been under a phyA-
cian's care several days. She expects to
be- able to leave her room this week.
Her lawyer. 8. J.. Karin. has instituted
two suits for damages.
Miss Coomer II Q mass Of bruises from
head to foot from the beating she says
she received At the hands n feet OF
Mrs. Ada Jermond. wife Of theatrical
instructor. at Eighth and Vim streets
Philadelphia.
CHE THRAsHEp A MAsHER ON
BROADWAY.
Il was two months ago that Miss Coon
er fret came before the public. She was
employed a. . cashier In a restaurant.
and her a u attracted attention wher-
w Div VSbl
broadway she was accosted by a masher
and he received the surprise Of his
young life for. instead of hurrying to
avoid him. Miss Coomer turned. swung a
right On his Jaw. dropped him on tAe
sidewalk and then pummelled him some
more. She was taken to the Roosevelt
Hospital after this experience.
"when I left the hospital" said Miss
Coomer to an Evening World reporter
to-day. II was told that. owing to tie
notor!ety I had received I could not keep
my position. 1t was necessary for me to
earn my living. and l secured q position
az usher in the Winter Garden. ! was
advised to 60 on the stage. and was told
I would make a good show girl.
II went to q theatrical agency M
made application. They asked me II I
had had any experience. and. of course,
I told them I had not. Then they told
me that I could get tho desired training
for q little money at Jermond's school
In Philadelphia. Mr.. Jermond was In the
ONCE and recommended tho training to
me.
y went to Phiiad e,phia, and Mr.. Jer-
mond was on the same train. I had
been there only a short time when I be-
came conscious that Mrs. Jermond was
Jealous OF me. and I decided to come
back to New York. On the afternoon OF
TIE Fourth l prepared to depart. On
tho pretext OF having me sign a con-
tract. Mrs. Jermond got me INTO her
private office with her husband and her
self the only others present. She ac-
cused me OF having accepted attentions
from her husband and basely slandered
me-. ! was too horr!fied 10 reply at frst,
but when l recovered my speech I denied
IL.
The evening world., 1911-07-11

Al. Isst. o. found .Flciss .11ssts:sa
Il T6: HSIld VIII bS listed g. TIN
GSsSxP 0siiss: sost6ws.s cs.uss sSss
nssssst!vS Stnes, iSSSS WH:sSiSstcs 81.
Dreokly1, fos 10 Days folloWtnG u
.ld.st.a q The 9 s:rt!:swsHt;
The Washington times., 1911-08-06

had refused to stop for him. There
was a voice.
Just a moment. please it said.
MAY l examine that umbrella? And
would you mind telling me"
"Oh. IL hope you'll let me explain, -
suffered Mr.. Spifkins-Jones. You see,
the umbrella looked so much like mine
that in the hurry of the moment l in
advertently picked it up. 1t was about
three weeks ago, I believe. Take it,
do; am exceedingly glad, at this
chance to rectify the-the mistake"
Mr. Larkins-Schuyler took the UNI
brella and proceeded rapidly down the
street. 1t was still raining. There was
another voice.
Pardon me-" it said. but may 1
have a look at that umbrella? And
would you mind"
;'Ch-er-let me explain" suffered
sIr. Larkins-Schuyler. In the hurry
or the moment and all that, you know.
Here, take it; do"
And Mr. Scott-Farson strode away
with ii, though 1t wasn't his.
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
CHIMMIE'S HISTORY

I wisht 1 Good play the mouth origin
like the Pyed Piper of Hamlin- He
must Of bin CRATE at 1t. hipnotizins
awl the rats the way he did
Thare was moar rats in Hamlin than
you Good count IL you stayed up awl
day and awl mite for a weak, may be-
Nobody moo ware they all KUN
frum or wy they dident go sumware
else instead Of awl kuming to Hamlin
like they did.
The kids coodent go to skool
without the rats steeling thare pref
zils and may be biting them in the
shins II they got mad about II, wich
of korse they wood natcherilly do If
rats swiped thare pretzils.
Peepel Get Soar
Aftir a vile the peepil got so soar
they awffered to give a millyun dol
lirs to enyboddy that wood chase the
rats. The kats coodent do nuthing
with them, on akkount OF beeing
sutch big rats they Good Jest give the
kats a krack avn the he'd with thare
tales that wood make them see stars
for a weak.
One day the Pyed Piped calm into
town with his mouth origin.
Give me the millyun dollirs, he sed.
and Ill get rid of the rats for you.
Ill jest play a tune avn my mouth
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
THE STAGEDOORKEEPER

newspapers, and by the time the whole
thing was settled the extras were on
the streets with pictures of the lady
sign painter in overalls. Now wasn't
that about what happened?"
You seem to have the score cor
rect" acquiesced the S. S. Y, but
how you should he wise to It is
beyond me. This girl gave a good rec
ord of herself. and says that she has
been in the habit of wearing overalls
because when she's painting fagpOles
they don't hamper her legs and flop in
the wind. And that's real argument.
But the judge fined her for obstructing
traffic. and then remitted the fine dur
ing good behavior"
And" interiected the S. D. K, "a
handsome patrolmen lent the little
lady a long overcoat to wear on the
way back to the studio"
You Read The Story
you read the story" shouted the
stage-struCk youth.
Il did not" yelled the stage door
keeper, 'put l read the pattern story
years before you were born. Where do
you suppose that I've been all these
years? And I'll tell you something
else. III bet you that the newspapers
stated that she wore silk stockings"
She did" said the S. S. Y.
Snuff" said the S. d. K.
The Washington times., 1911-08-06

origin and they will awl wawk rite into
the see and be drownded. he sed.
We don't believe a werd you say, the
peepil sed. Nobody can play a mouth
origin that good. But furst go ahed
and do 1t, they sed, and If yure not
tawking thro yure hat We will give
You the millyun dollirs.
He Does 1t
So the Pyed Piper played avn his
mouth origin and wawked down the
streat and darn if awl the rats dident
follow him jest like he sed they wood.
I don't no wat the toone was he played
but 1t must of bin sum toone and he
must of bin sum playir.
Aftir the rats had awl wawked into
the see and bin drownded the Pyed
Piper sed. wares the millyun. and the
peepil sed, wat, a millyun dollirs for
a little thing like that. Beet 1t vile
yure shoes are good. And they woodent
evin give him a sent, mutch less q
millyur.
So wat did the Pyed Piper do but
play sum moar avn his mouth origin,
and awl the kids started to follow him
Jest like the rats. And warever they
went they nevir calm back, wich
shows If you promise enything, pay
up. evin If it's a millyun dollirs, and be
a sport.
The Washington times., 1911-08-06

something or other in double quick
time by pretending that one of our
swellest customers had ordered some
of the stuff, and this morning, when
he noticed a shelf full of stuffed olives
that ought to have gone the way of all
stock long ago, he had a bright idea
that the same plan would work again.
So every time customer would
come in the boss would yell to the er-
rand boy, Boy, take those four bottles
of stuffed olives around to Mrs. De-
Styler's house. She very particular
about them
And ten to one the customer would
grab at the chance to buy what Mrs.
DeStyler was buying, and we were get
ting along fine. But just at the most
crowded part OF the morning who
should rush in but Mrs. DeStyler her
self. I want this stopped" she ex-
hausts That boy Of yours. has
brought twenty-four bottles Of stuffed
olives to my house at different times
this morning. and''-but what's the
use7
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
SIZE HOLDS IT UP TO THE
WOMAN FRAUD

But the pity of your deceit is this
you take more time to cultivate the
art of SEEMING to be than you do
in BEING. Only a few days ago you
managed to secure for yourself that
chance to make an appeal to a club
Of very prominent women in behalf
of an Old Ladies' Home. The ep-
peal was touching. And. at that very
moment, your own poor old mother
was being 'slanged" and made
wretched by your obstreperous son.
to whom you make no effort to teach
the respect he should show his elders.
Appearance of Tenderness
You have realized the fact that the
world needs tenderness. And you have
made up your mind to give 1.-THE AP-
PEARANCE OF TENDERNESS. You
buzz and zoon with a proficiency that
advances your social ambitions in pub
lie places. At home, in your personal
relations to those who need the real
thing. genuine love and true sympathy,
you have neither time nor interest to
give 1t.
There are so many of your kind hum
ming. And the noise Of their buzzing
fills the ears of young girls who look
for help and inspiration. What do you
suppose they think when they find that
you are just humming for effect? Their
ideals come tumbltng down about their
ears. They find that you are cold and
distant, naughty and uninterested to
those who cannot advance your ambi-
tions. Singing bugs blight fine fruit.
So do you! You blast the faith of
youth! It's a pity that there are not
social bug catchers to pick you of OF
society as potato bugs. are removed
from plants-before they do any dam
age!
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Loretta's Looking Glass

M bug" It's '' not 's so ''p polite "a1n and
pretty a name as "a butterfly"
Is it? If there is an aristocracy in the
insect world flies seem rather more 'fn
the upper circle" than bugs. And
really. I think. the feminine butterflies
are preferable to the female humbugs.
A Lady Humbug is a kind of a buzz
zing cheat. You proved yourself en-
titled to a place in that particular spe-
cies just now.
You slipped up to the elbow of an
other woman and tried to crawl into
her good graces by your humming
Dear Mrs. Inctum It." you buzzed
softly. ALLOW me to tell you how sin
cerely I sympathized with you in your
bereavement. Such a loss is so crush
ing! I DO hope you are beginning
to feel the balm and ease that Time
so kindly gives US to soOthe our griefs.
When heard Of your loss, I thought 1
should write; but we were out of town
and l was no occupied that 1 did not.
DO let me tell you you now how much
1 felt your sorrow!"
Perfection of Humbuggey
The particular perfection of your
fumbuggery lies in the fact that you
have slipped under the edge of the
social screen. Mrs. Inctum 1t is so
exclusive that you have never before
been able to penetrate her privacy.
Now, you humbug your way in. She
cannot resent your humming in her
hearing. You are a good hummer,
too. You have learned how to use
mere words with a soothing smooth
ness that seems to suggest a deep
and Symnathetic nature
Mrs. Inctum 1t Is impressed with
your humming. She is agreeably sur
prised. Somehow she had not thought
you so refinedly sympathetic before
The Washington times., 1911-08-06

y TANDlNG always the flare of the hmelght,
< rounded By the and glitter of life abroad,
"a their whispering of romance and of the
!.
e stirring when me made history and the world
"a young the of American girls who have
49, married titles" hide what unhappmess dlu-
- 81 may them beneath smiling exteriors.
~ 49, They hide their bitterness away with the skele
u * = tons lurk the grim old castles their wealth
~ TE helped and they lift their heads
proudly the Americans that
E5##33=s=@--- what they sought.
they That the that
turning the of the whole world those
American peeesses recently made
abroad should be taxed the has
hees be taxed their
after ali. reality life of dreary makebeleve?
declare that the
the rainbow
bubble which the American offers They add that
the woman of title knows always
of life, which America
sends OF up and the other down day by day
Gets Full Value First
And that right take her
buy with what she full value
hand there who declare broken
the real wedding title and that
nobman would would
men seeking and the debuante
mothers their for high
fromh the heartbreak which follows.
Which right do pretend but interesting
fromth of Don't think
whether the worth
whether after all, the
unknown unpretentiou American home who the hap
she be from the glitter and the glory of the
the battles social precedent and the
which wealth filings about life for the titled woman
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Notches Made By
Humor'S Knife
THE SPOONERS

For the fourth time he had said Good
night" but still they fingered on the
doorstep.
"Ah, dearest" he whispered tenderly,
gazing toward the starlit skies, the
night has a thousand eyes"
"sh! You goose!" cautioned the pretty
girl, as she noticed dark forms at the
cpposite windows. mot so loud! The
might also has a thousand ears"
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Our Grocery Clerk
Saws Some BOnehead

The boss thinks If trick is turned
once it can be turned again. He tried
have succeeded. too. If the boneheaded
errand boy hadn't been on the Job to
stick both feet in things.
Some time ago the boss got rid OF
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Nuggets From
Humor'S Gold Mine
SAVING GREENS

side of your house have a delightful ef-
feet
Farmer-I should say they had. Them
trees keep off the wind and save bout
eight dollars worth O. firewood every
winter.
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Needles From a
Cushion of HumOr
ENGLISH Joke FOR TODAY

A few days ago President Taft, ar
rayed in the largest bathing suit known
to this age, threw his substantial form
into the sea.
That afternoon a newspaper corre-
spondent wired the news to his paper:
There was mighty little swimming
along the north shore today. The presi-
dent was using the ocean."-The Pink
I'm
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
All At Sea

1T must be hard to run a ladies'
magazine"
1T is. don't know what the
women want"
why don't you ask 'em?"
Il don't suppose they know"
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Woes of Men

MY wife often alludes tearfully to
the fact that she threw over
millionaire to marry me-.
Mines Just as bad. Her rather
offered to buy her a French poodle II
she'd turn me down.
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
COnSiderate Wife

Tall Girl-Helen's been married six
months and has never baked a cake
or batch of bread.
Short Maiden-Isn't it ideal to see
wife think so much of her hus-
band?
The Washington times., 1911-08-06

u see that Mr.. Axstein's music han
in New York got a nice call down from
the court the other day" said the stage
struck youth.
Spill it, kid. I'll be the goat" said
the stage doorkeeper amiably.
Well it seems that ANstein, re-
sumed ;he S. S. Y, wanted sign
painted outside of his music hall and
gave the contract to a female sign
writer. who is strong on that sort or
work The sign was to be on Broad
way. in a very inCOnspiCuous place
about Forty-fourth street. and the lady
sign writer turned up for work when
the street was deserted, which l be-
y lee they say was about II o'clock in
the morning. and she was clad in blue
denim Overalls."
Surest Thing You Know
"Surest thing you know" barked the
stage doorkeeper. III bet my weeks
salary against a cigarette PAPER that
she was a blond and that she coulG
wear a two B shoe. And of course slime
uafeeling cop floated along after eleven
million people had put traffic out OF
business and toddled her down to the
house with green lamps where she could
tell her troubles to the sergeant.
And then, of course, she telephoned
10 Mr. AXstein to come down and bail
her out and Mr.. AXstein phoned the
The Washington times., 1911-08-06

thousand Swed Hungarans had
deprived O bres because they word of Engshf
It's wonderful thing, Belle, wonderful.
The mionre feel it's their duty Belle do somepn for the
good O. civilization and maybe is don't how with
hundred million dollars for his fight for after he's dead
sleep KNOWN that society for the una
frecked foreigners goin the dogs for the of hn
hand with million or in
How the Mlio naires Work II
It's got mionares consider charity part
o the regular days work.
Achibald mlEonaireT his private take
the things And
because I've back the links finish that last
First, /
It's the teach the people their ashes
before they throw them away
Then send check a hundred thousand
widows and orphans of the fellows who lost their lives
puln people wells After that that lard
That ought bring fifty sixty millions and last of
all send autographed check for million the
society for the children who have been lost sea-"
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Baked at That

Rodd-Don't you ever have a long
ing to go fishing?
Nodd-Yes; I've had a longin' to &C
fishin' few times, but I've never had
a longin' to dig bait, yet.
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
According to Science

Il shall try to leave footprints on
the sands of time" said the man who
is earnest but not original.
Very good" replied the absent
minded criminologist; but thumb
prints are now considered more re-
liza BILE"
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Always Hopeful

Fame" remarked the morallzer'
.is but an empty bubble.
"True," rejoined the demoralizer !:
"vet every man has an idea that II
he could get hold of it he could con-
vert II into q dirigible balloon.
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
She Got Mad

"Ah, Mr.. Jimsoll." exclaimed the
kittenish lady with the plenitude OF
powder on her face, you must re-
member 1 am a daughter OF Eve
well. honestly" replied the blum
dering man. you don't look half that
old"
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Tailed Up

"1 hear that young lady from the
east did much execution among the
cowboys. Broke a lot of hearts, eh?"
went away with seventeen notches
on her parasol handle" replied Pizen
Pete.
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
A Coming Humorist

Now, sir, what do you think of
that?" said the, mother. after she had
boxed Bobby's ears.
Il don't think at ALL" replied the
youngster. My train of thought has
been delayed by a hot box"
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Well Mated

First Bridesmaid - They are well
matched, don't you think?
Second Bridesmaid-Rather; she's a
grass widow and he's a vegetarian.
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Surest Thing You Know
One Moment, Please!
Or, 1t Was Raining

1t was raining. Mr.. Spifkins-Jones
was hurrying along the cleaning
streets to beat the cars, all Of which
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
Big Enough

How big are the fish you catch at
your camp?"
"Oh, as big as can get anybody to
believe"
The Washington times., 1911-08-06
M A ME TELLS BELLE
That Even Though It
Is Misdirected
CHARITY'S A GOOD THING

E times hard, Belle, or what? I haven't read any
thing lately about any O the millonaires givin'
fortunes to the hospital for lethanded crpples or
the institute for instructin the odish or even the
college for curious consumptives
Charity's great thing, Belle. They say Il
covers multitude of sins, but don't see how the
world could get along without it. Didn't Rookie
feler found vivisection fact'ry in Chicago to
teach the risin generation how to separate cat
into forty diffrent pieces without KILN the catl
Didn't Carnegie build magnificent stone lbr'ies
containn' six million books each in seven hundred
The Washington times., 1911-08-06

She thinks she has been somewhat
unjust to you.
While she is reproaching herself
for an unjust Judgment, you are con-
graduating yourself on the success
of your humming
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-21
eocS Employment Agency.

4 ,o onsatrical agency announces its
fsr supply managers with artists.
.tin. oul of town managers and
ala matters OF business for pro-
ke,,, ,,heaters available for stock
Int pi ws,, on hand: d publicity de-
3 Nh. DC maintained, \ feature
seli.t esal department In charge
:, lihnp"n theatrical attorney.
h ihnDaer holds an option on the
sithf, ..T WHICH he can close any
o.oon q year for the total price
1lesic,.. IL Ii one OF the Hammer
y VII VII who recently left this
'an mn M her valise nlIed with
, drsniey, made by her lectures
Ame,lraai, has this TO say about
iso%s'e is%%erlea Isa found that. with few
viii, .ney do not produce their
howe ~uch loving care as we 10.
BY NJ. er are bcautiful-egpccial
4 pls... hclnsco. On. Of ihn most
cohre,, ever saw N Amelt ga was
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-21

Katherine Emmett has been engaged
by John Cort as leading woman in sup
port of Lawrence y 'Orsay in his re-
vlval Of the Augustus Thomas comedy
FThe Earl of Pawtucket'' -
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-21
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS.

Office OF The Board OF Public Works.
Salt Lake City, Utah. May 10. 1911.
Scaled proposals will be received al
this office until 7'30 p. m, June .. 1911
for the work of constructing stables,
warehouse. workshops, garage and wagon
sheds on the property owned by the city
between Sixth South and Seventh South
streets and State and Second East
streets. according TO r,ans on file in the
City Engineers office.
Instructions to bidders, together with
plans, profles. specifications and forms
for contract and bond. may he obtained
upon application at the office of the
Board OF Public Works or the City En-.
gIDecr.
The right is reserved TO reject any and
all bids.
BY order Of the Board OF Public Works
Fl. G, MCMILLAN, Chairman.
el2aJ
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-21
Women as Minstrels

Forty members of the Profes-
sionai Woman s league, woody
wigged and sooty faced, but with
stockings below their knee
breeches so silken slea2y as 10
show that it wasn't burnt cork
that cleaned through. were the
gambolers of the Woman 5 pro-
fessionsl league in negro min
strelsy, Amelia Summerville was
the Mr. John. the center of the
senlicirclc, while Truly D, Shattuck
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-21
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS.
Office OF tho Board of Public Works.

UIIIce OF the Board OF Pub!IC Works.
Salt Lake City, Jtah. May Il. 1911.
Sealed proposals Will be received at
this office until 1880 p. m. June .. 1911
for the work of constructing curb and
gutter including all necessary grading
in curb and gutter extension No. 10,
Seventh East street from Tenth to Elev-
cnth South streets. according to plans
on nile in the Citv Engineers office,
Instructions to bidders, together with
for contract and bond. may be obtained
upon application at the office OF the
Board OF Public Works or the City En-
Sineer
The right is reserved 10 reject any and
all bids
BY order OF the Board OF Public Works
II. G. MCMILLAN. Chairman.
eIog3
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-21

Charles Klein, author of 1fThe Gam
blers, has eDsconsed himself at his
summer home at Rewayton, Conn, since
his return from Europe, and is work.
ing on his new play which will be pro.
duced By the Authors Producing COM
pany next October.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-21

Never hesitate about Giving Cham.
berlain's IS Cough Remedy to children. II
and can be given with implicit conf
dence. As quick cure for coughs and
colds TO which children "a susceptible,
it is unsurpassed. Sold Nv all dealers
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-21
One Dollar

Round trip to Ogden Sundays via Ore
gop Short Line.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1911-05-21

John Cort Will give Lee Arthur S
comedy drama. "Thc Fox which was
produced in Chicago at the Lyric thea
ter and is now playing at the Cort thea
ter in that city, its metropolitan hear
ing on September l at Broadway
thcater.