davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
An Omeer'S Ready wiz.

An ancestor Of Tolstoy's, an army
officer. was an excellent mimic One
day he was mimicking the Emperor
Paul to a group of his friends when
Paul himself entered and for some mo-
ments looked on unperceived at the
antics Of the young man. Tolstoy
finally turned and beholding the en-
peror he bowed his head and was ST.
lent. go on, sir" said Paul. Con
tinue your performance"
The young man hesitated a moment
and then folding his arms and repro
ducing every gesture and information Of
his sovereign he said: 'Tolstoy. you
deserve to be degraded. but l remem-
Der the thoughtlessness of youth, and
you are pardoned." The car smiled
slightly at this speech. well, be it co."
he said.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
BABY THEN TOOK HER NAP


A New Jersey,.man and his wife
went ON q little vacation trip with
some friends In AN automobile last
week. They left the baby at homo
with the maternal grandmother and
the baby's uncle. All the while the
parents were away the baby was up
permost In their thoughts. In one Of
the towns they passed through they
saw a sign in q shop window adver.
Using an "unbreakable" doll They
stopped the machine and hurried in to
get one for the baby. It was Just
what they had been looking for. and it
seemed q providential occasion to al
. longfelt want.
When they got home they gave the
unbreakable doll to the baby. The
baby is little maiden not yet two
years old. but already has a fondness
for dolls. She has also q desire to
destroy them that some of the friends
Of the family call abnormal. She has
more ways Of breaking up her dolls
than have ever been noticed before.
Therefore what would happen to the
unbreakable toy was q matter that
was watched with considerable inter
est not only by her immediate family
but by those in the neighborhood who
were informed Of the experiment.
The baby did not have the doll in
her arms more than two minutes be-
fore she tried her strength. At the
first attempt to pull 1t apart she was
unsuccessful. and appeared to be puz-
zled. After swinging her right arm to
and fro and seeming to do a little
shadow boxing. Just to see If she was
in good condition or whether the trou-
Bile was with the doll. she tackled it
again. This time she did better, and
the doll retired from the encounter
with a fractured skull This seemed
to encourage the baby. and she hurl.
ed the doll with excellent air and all
her force against the marble fireplace.
The dolls neck was broken as the re-
suit. In half an hour. as the result of
the baby's efforts. the unbreakable
doll was reduced to pieces fit only
for the scrap heap. Then the child
lay down for her afternoon nap and
went to sleep with a seraphic smile
on her face. She had achieved what
the inventor of the unbreakable doll
had believed to be impossible She
did not know this, but she was well
satisfied with the result.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Tell II 70 Rcstand.

did you ever notice." inquired the
woman who has just moved to the
country, that when you hear a roos-
ter crow early in the morning 1t al
ways sounds a long way of? I used
to observe that when I took my vaca-
tons in the country. Even when stay
ing at a place that had a barnyard
full Of chickens, never heard a roos-
ter crow close by. 1t always had a
distant sound. sort of mystic and al
most poetic In the early dawn. Now
am living in the country I notice
the same shrili, small note, far away
always far away-although there are
lots Of chickens in the yard next door
and across the street. too. I'm sure
there's some arrangement between
the chanticlers about this. only we
are not clever enough to understand
it."
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Credit, Yes; Money, No.

James J. Hill does not like to give
money to people who know little Of
business. The widow of former
friend came to him one day. She
wanted a small loan with which to
open a boarding house.
Sorry. Mrs. Blank" said busy Mr..
Hill, but I can't let you have any
money. Go and start your boarding
house"
But I can't without money, Mr..
Hill. must pay rent and buy fur.
niture and many things
Nothing of the kind, Mrs. Blank"
said Mr.. HILL Go and get good
house: get bill for six months rent;
furnish the house. Send bills to me.
I'll pay 'em. Sorry ! can't let you
have any money. Good day, and good
luck to you."-The Sunday Magazine.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
PASSING OF TUATARA LIZARD
10 One Of Most Ancient Forms Of AMI
NAL Life Now Found on
Earth.

The tuatara lizard. found In New
Zealand. is one of the most ancient
forms Of animal life now found on
earth. Originally this lizard pos
sessed four eyes, but in the course Of
the ages it has lost one pair and must
now get along with two. The tuatara
lay eggs which are remarkable In that
they require ii months to hatch. the
embryo passing the winter In a state
Of hibernation.
These small survivors Of past ages
are found only in few localities and
are becoming very scarce, collectors
from every part of the world being
continually on their trail. They are
about two feet in length, and. in COM
mon with other lizards, have the for
tunate characteristic Of being able to
replace portions Of their limbs or
tails which have been destroyed. II is
asserted that one of these lizards,
owned by a naturalist, had the mis-
fortune some time ago to lose an eye
and that a complete new eye, perfect
in every way. has grown in the place
of the old one.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03

a ustro-Hunsary and France Plan Ex-
tsnsive Operations for the
9hlpbulldero.

The Hungarian delegations have ap-
proved the Austro-H Hungarian naval
program, which calls for IN expendi-
ture of $65. 000. 900 in building four
Dreadnoughts. three fast cruisers and
. number of torpedo boats In the next
SIX years. A sQuabble With the Aus
TRAN delegations has arisen over the
partition of contracts for the new
work Admiral Montecuccoli Is &C
cused of promising Hungary q larger
share than her contribution to the
work entitled her a. an inducement to
pass the naval budget The Austrian
delegations refused to ratify the deal.
and Montscuccou threatens to r.
sign.
Frances naval program. SO far as
Axed. provides for laying down this
year two q. 500 ton battleships.
Turkey has definitely arranged with
the Armstrong; for the construction
of two frst-class battleships at once.
A special commission Is visiting for
eign navy yards in search OF informa'
don in order to determine on the dis
placement and armament
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Too UNPLEASANT.

DR.. William ]. Gies of the College OF
Physicians and Surgeons, was discuss.
ing at a dinner in New York, his re
cent dictum that cannibalism is the
ideal diet, for the reason that the best
food is the one which most nearly ap,
proaches the bodily composition OF
the eater.
"Cannibalism - the ideal regimen,
said DIR. Giles. smiling. land the books
Of Stanley. Jameson. Barttelot and
other explorers will bear me out The
cannibals of the Congo are wonderful
~ fine fellows physically.
But cannibalism is, of course, as
unpleasant and as impossible as the
economy suggested by the southern
housewife.
Here said her husband to her, If
you're going in to the village, buy me
5 cents worth of snuff
But the woman shook her head.
NO she said. times are too hard
for snuff-taking. In future. John. you
must just tickle your nose with q
straw"
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
The Crying Need.

An irate old lady. the wife Of a
prosperous farmer on the outskirts of
Philadelphia. stepped OF a train in
Broad street station the other day
with q face like a thunder cloud. Any
one could see in that scowling coun-
tenance the smoldering fire that
might break forth at any minute.
Stamping excitedly on the platform.
she CRASHED her teeth in a struggle
to keep back the tears. Finally she
buttonholed the first person who
would listen to her tale Of woe.
What's all this here talk of educat-
ing young men to be civil engineers?"
she screeched. Indignantly. What We
need in this here country is more
civil conductors and less sassy brake
nen."-Philadelphia Times.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03

He Was Not the Kind Of Poor Man
Andrew Carnegie Advised
Girls to Marry.

Andrew Carnegie recently advised
some New York girls to marry poor
men. Il would rather be born poor
than a millionaire" he said, and I
have had experience of both estates.
At a dinner Mr.. Carnegie. elabora-
ting the above, said:
Il suppose these girls will all take
my advice about marrying poor men.
Poor men are SO much easier to find
than rich ones. But that Is no hard
ship.
so many people think that poor
young couple. to get on, must practice
the niggardly meanness of Tom Wei
don.
tom Weldon, on a journey from Al
toona to Philadelphia. got into game
of cards with . young man. The
young man lost steadily. Finally, as
Philadelphia drew near, he was out
total Of SCI.
The young man had hard hunt to
produce all this money. From one
pocket he took two $50 bills. from an
other two fives. from his waistcoat
SO goldpiece and silver dollar. and
from his trousers a half-dollar. a quar-
ter. two dimes and four pennies. The
final penny he couldn't find, search
where he would.
I'm awful sorry he said to Tom
Weldon. I'm a cent short
".Never mind. young man. said
Tom, genially. We won't stick at
cent. You can give your evening pa
per-"
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
No More "Ticket-of-Leave" Men.

No More "Ticket-of-leave" Men.
The old ticket-ofleave systematic
staple of many an honest melodrama
after Charles Peace-has at last gone
altogether Henceforth the discharged
convict really anxious to make a clean
start will not be brought into direct
contact with the police. Up TO now
the convict has been supervised by the
police on the one hand and cared for
by various philanthropic societies on
the other. and there has been TO CO.
operation between the police and the
societies. The new scheme is to com
bine into a central body the societies
which have hitherto aided discharged
prisoners and to give this body author.
ity to deal with the convicts and funds
to carry on the work This body will
be responsible for the convicts whose
interests it serves, and the police will
have no more dealings with discharged
prisoners so long AS they keep from
further crime.-From the London Sat.
urday Review.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Advertised Letters.

Following is list Of unclaimed Raj
matter remaining in the post office al
Columbus, Nebraska, for the period end
ing May ), 1911:
Letters-Miss Louise Cook, Mrs Nam
ie Oohee. Glen Carpenter, Charlie Miller,
W. H. Gewburr. Mrs Ida Mack. Frank
Walter, Miss Marie Wilson.
Osrds-Ralph Atkinson, Earl E,
Brown, Ms Lizzie Oarper, Ms. Arthur
G. Finch, Mrs. Cora Gray. f. ID. Johns,
Jesse Kopp. Mrs Marths Miller, Mrs.
Lena McOormic, George Porter. Airs. NJ.
s. Mack, Mrs T.. A. Rodman. Miss
Minnie Smith. Irwin Sheffield. G. Som
mer.
Parties calling for any of The above
will please say, "advertised."
w. A. MCALLISTER. Z. VI.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
ResourcefuI.

Every man can find work II he
uses his brains." said Andrew Carne-
gle. in an after-dinner address in New
York. Tf there are no more open,
ings in oil and sugar. rubber should
be turned to. and il the automobile
trade grows crowded, then there will
probably be openings in the aeroplane
line.
1--WE should all be like the piano
tuner I once met out west.
"'Why.' I said to him-for We were
in wild. unsettled country-'surely
piano tuning can't be very lucrative
here. I shouldn't imagine that pianos
were very plentiful in this region
"'No. sir. they're not said the
piano tuner. but I make a pretty fair
income by tightening up barbed wire
fences
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Gave Overshoes as Aims.

Mayor William F. Connery of Lynn
Mass. came close to obeying the
scriptural injunction concerning char
lty to the very letter when he took
Of a pair of rubbers and gave them to
an old man. The mayor was hurryine
home for luncheon, when the old man
asked him for so cents.
The mayor said: Il haven't 1t. What
DO you want 1t for"
Il need a pair of rubbers." said the
old man. The mayor saw that the
mans shoes were full of holes.
Here, take mine" said he. peel.
ing off the footgear. They were an
excellent fit. and the beggar departed
loud in his praises.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Great Concrete BRIDGE.

There was recently opened for traf-
fic at Auckland. New Zealand. a rein
forced concrete bridge. which con-
tains the largest masonry arch in ex-
istence The structure consists Of
nine approach spans of from 43 to 81
feet. and great central arch of 800
feet. The latter is hinged at the abut-
ments and at the center.
It consists of two separate ribs. con-
nected by cross struts, with a floor
resting on slender columns built up
from the ribs. Provision is made for
a 2f-foot roadway and two six-foot
dewalks-Scientific American.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
A lincoIHism.

Norman Hapgood. the noted editor.
quoted in an address on Lincoln. Lin
colnism of great value TO parents.
Lincoln said Mr.. Hapgood, was
Sace talking to dissipated man of
middle age who was lamenting over
the fact that his seventeen-year-old
son had just begun to indulge in dis
sipation.
We'll, there Is just one way said
Lincoln. to bring up a child in the
way it should go. and that is to travel
that way yourself
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
A Mise Mavor,

HayOr Crump, at 4 Democratic ban.
uuet i'm Memphis. said of political
turncoat:
He is as Inconsistent In politics as
man is in love.
Mans Inconsistency in love is, you
know. proverbial. The average man.
as soon as he wins a woman. tires Of
her. The advice I'd give to every girl
is this:
There is only one way TO keep a
mans love. and that is never to re-
turn n
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Resents the Criticism,

Mrs. Henry Cabot Lodge, in com
menting upon the statement OF Lad,
Sarah Wilson that American womer
do not take an interest in politics
said that she had seen only the crus,
Of society while visiting here. ant
that she could not judge American
women from those she had met. She
said that American women do take 6
healthy. normal interest in politics, as
do their English sisters.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
VIII Train Servants.

Mrs. Mary Gray Of Newark and
other New Jersey women are inter
ested in statewide movement te
solve the servant question. The plar
proposed is to provide better servant,
by providing cooking and trainins
schools. and these will be started IL
the cities where girls may learn ever,
branch Of Homework. Girls who are
educated simply by going the round.
of the homes in any community. car
not be expected to be property cdu
Gated. Servants will be classified IN
der the new plan and when profic,en,
will be given diplomas.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Matter OF Breathing.

Teachers will be interested in the
experiments of DIR. Noble connected
with the New York schools. He finds
that many boys are vicious looking
and bad because they do not breathe
properly. One boy who scowled at
his teacher and frequently played
truant, after course in breathing
lessons became bright. upright-look-
ing boy and fond of school
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Between Office BOYS.

How'll you get OF for the openine
game? You killed your sgrandmothe,
OF last season"
I'll get OF to 60 to ,grandfather's
wedding. What's the matter with thu
old man getting married. again.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
More Up-to- Date.

De Style-Old Dreemy doesn't build
castles in the air any more.
Gunbusta-Is that So?
De Style-He builds aeroplane sta,
lions in the air now.-Judee's ~
brary.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Much More Worth INSPECTING.

Johnny, you have been fighting. I
can tell It by the look in your eye"
"Yes. mother, and you ought to see
the look in the other boys eye."-
Stray Stories.
The Columbus journal., 1911-05-03
Baby Contest

nURlNG the month Of May We
y give pictures away. l dozen
best cabinet photos to the prettiest
= boy baby, prettiest girl baby, and
latest baby, one year and under.
Every baby entered will get one
picture free. Gallery north Of
Thurston hotel. Competent judges
will be chosen.
The Washington times., 1911-11-22
Reception at Hospital
Next Wednesday.

A reception will be held in the sur
parlor of the Georgetown University
Hospital Wednesday afternoon. Novem.
ber 20. from 4 to o'clock. by the ladies
board. Refreshment swill be served and
music will be furnished by an orchestra
Friends OF the hospital and all inter.
ested are invited to attend. Donations
of money or linen will be received and
guests will be shown through the va.
rious departments.
The officers of the ladies' board ars
Miss Alice Riggs. president; Sister Mary
Pauline, Mrs. Alexander Mcneil. Mrs
A. e. Murphy. Mrs. J. Eahn Gadsby
Mrs. Milton E. Allies, Miss Jane DAILY
Mrs Mullett, Mrs. Cogan, Mrs, Isaac
Cans, Mrs. Fealy and Miss Gowans.
Mrs. Rust Smith has invitations out
for a bridge-luncheon Wednesday. No
yember 90
The Washington times., 1911-11-22
FOR TIMES WOMEN WHO WANT TO KNOW
What Is Seen in The Shops
BY THE SHOPPER

very effective and odd. This material
was marked rs cents yard. ana was
forty inches wide.
Linen squares q yard wide for rs cents
are not often found by The Shopper. hut
linen pieces like these with a deem ben,-
stitched border and an insertion Of
drawn Mexican work were displayed in
@ street department store. near
Eleventh street. this morning for this
price.
! saw some attractive bar pins of
French enarhelware on sterling silver
for II In tewelry store in r street,
near Thirteenth this morning. These
pins were warranted to be genuine
French enamel. and the brilliant color
A silk stocking OF a well-known make
Ii displayed In an r street store win
dow, near Thirteenth street, for $3.50
q pair. These stockings, like the gloves
Of ov this ,sme ;,sss s. make. are guaranteed 70
hcavv in weight. and were absolutely
pure silk. They were shown in black.
white. and brown.
An F street fancy shop. which sells
every thing a woman can wear in the
way Of neckwear, is showing some at
tiactiye side-futed ruffies made Of a
fine dainty net in cream and white. and
edged with deep lace for SO cents. There
also were some dainty satin two-toned
bows which are worn with the side
jabots. for 25 cents.
saw a set of Burok embroidery
doilies in an F street department store.
this morning, which were exceptionally
artistic. and the cclor scheme pleasing
and harmonious. In linen and olive
green. There were thirteen pieces in
the set. and II was priced at only A.75.
The Washington times., 1911-11-22
FOR LITTLE FOLK JUST BEFORE BEDTIME
The Sandman S Stories
THE SELFISH BOY.

Aunt Charlotte wanted a nun and your
grandmother shell comb for her haid,
so l gave them the things they wanted
this year.
"Everybody got what they wanted but
Yes replied his father. "They
thought they should have first choice
That night, when Frank was talking
over the day with his mother, he said:
Il do not understand why everybody is
80 selfish L could not have the leg OF
the turkey because you and Aunt Char
presents .ti,ey wanted but me-
1T does make people appear disagree
able when they. are so selfish, does II
notY" said his Inotherr;, ,
am glad YOU noticed It too. II is not
like any of you to be so selfish.".
Did you ever think that YOU always
have been selfish?''- asked his mother.
or take the best, Of everything at the
table. and do YOU know that you have
never given anyone a Christmas pres
ent: You receive. but you do not give"
"and father a scarfpin, and Aunt Char
lotte a bottle of perfume and grand
Those things were selected by others
Anne Murphy:s little boy sent You six
gingerbread animals, and you did not
think of sending anything to him..
Frank thought Of the basket of toys
he had. refused to part with, and he
hung his head.
Il. didn't know !. was so SELFISH" he
said at last, do you and father and
aunt Charlotte think / have been sell
fish?" r.. o..
Yes said his mother.
And grandmother. too?" he asked.
Yes" said his mother. "and she Is
very unhappy about 1t, her. day has
been spoiled because you did not get
The Washington times., 1911-11-22

the Lesk you wanted. but your father
said YOU had SO much this year that
you could wait for that until next
Christmas
Il have been selfish said Frank,
and / did not deserve the things did
receive. Do You think 1t is too late TO
take the toys to Anne's little boy"
You can take them to him New Years
When Frank Kissed his grandmother
good night he said: DO not feel bad,
grandmother, because I did not get the
desk. I have had everything I wanted
should have turn" -.
Before New Years Day Frank had
done much thinking, and in several
was trying to overcome mis- selfishness.
! New Years morning he packed bas-
ket with toys and books for Anne
. noticed among the things box OF
paints for coloring pictures.
Are you tired of, paints?" asked his
1 mother.
things are old and l wanted to feel that
| ] was giving something, because the
Murphy boy. does not have many GIN
gerbread animals and l.. expect he felt
He shall have the desk this very
day" said his grandmother. who over
heard what Frank said, II cannot wait
until next year, he is too dear"
his room there was the desk for whieh
he asked. His grandmother stood in
the doorway smiling. and Frank. put his
arms around her and kissed her.
| Grandmother, l do not deserve it,, he
said ."I know I have been selfish, but
/ am trying hard to overcome it,"
I'VE will call this desk a reminder
said his grandmother, 'and when you
are inclined to be selfish come in here
and sit at the desk and write, Every
body loves me, and tries to make me
happy, I must do my share toward
making others happy and / am sure
that will help you"
Tomorrow's story: Bright Eyes"
The Washington times., 1911-11-22

saw many gay and festive holiday
calendars In pretty and artistic de-
signs this morning in an street de-
partment store, near Eleventh street.
at very reasonable prices. One large
calendar made in leafiet form with
children's pictures. designed by Eliza
beth Shippen Green and Jessie Wilcox
Smith, was particularly attractive for
a child's nursery or a kindergarten
rSGm DSseh dssEn ssTs a.s1 on ons %as with nA back
ground of dyed blue wood. Both of
these were marked $18 each. The
motto calendars were artistically IL
worded. These were marked as low as
25 cents.
Soft silk fringe adds q pretty touch
to the one-piece dress SO much worn
this winter In the house. A. Seventh
street store, near ! street, is displaying
black. and other delicate shades for
l24 cents yard.
A mems furnishing store in Seventh
street. near Market place, Is showing
little boys Norfolk suits in stylish and
natty material for IS suit, and an
extra pair OF trousers comes with y.
The suit I saw was a rich brown IN
color. and the pants were baggy with
tiny straps and buckles at the knee.
The coat was oell made. quite stylish.
and up-to-date In every respect.
saw some pure silk embroidered
marquisettes In a Pennsylvania avenue
store. near Seventh street, this morning
which would. make up into handsome
evening gowns. There was a pale pink
shade with a black satin border which
looked as though II would make up into
Frenchy gown; also one piece In pure
white with rich Persian border was
The Washington times., 1911-11-22
Husband Leaves Out
The One Vital Point

Let me engage the next cook" said
the meddlesome man to his wife, Show
the applicants in to me and L will see
that you are properly suited"
DO you attend church, he inquired
of the first applicant.
Yes, sir. regularly every Sunday" re-
piled the cook.
,"How long were YOU at your last
place."
"Two years"
81 would pay you six dollars a week.
Would that oo?''
Yes, SIR"
Have you any followers?"
mo, sir"
Right, I'll engage you"
The next evening the meddlesome man
asked his wife how the new cook got
en-. She's gone, Frank replied his
wife. You omitted one question when
you engaged her"
Nonsense What was that?'
You forgot to ask her If she could
cook. She Observation-Disclosures.