The Washington herald., 1911-12-31

moment and promised everybody-e'en
| though the promise tore his very Vitals-
that he would never mention the good
old days of 1858 again.
. Times don't seem to have changed
nor custom stalled the habit of attempt
ing in a single moral wave to change
the habits conscientiously cultivated dur
Ting lifetime And as it was in the
| cafes, so 1t was at the house parties and
| the churches where the vigilant awaited
| to the most solemn moment when the
| hand of time, symbolized by a grand
fathers clock, ushered in the Sabbath.
To-night's the Night.
OF course, all this goes as a preliminary
to the big celebration tonight The big
| celebration will be a quiet, clean kind of
celebration, unmussed by song and
wine and wooziness. Church, meetings,
| quiet watches, possibly a very, very few
OF the unregenerate who haven't beaten
Father Time to the immortal aqua pIra
| omnibus.
Alas! the copperish taste Is here, the
head is pounding like an inebriatcd trip
| hammer, the rich. thick blanket of re-
morse surrounds, and everybody is ready
for year of virtue. 1t all happened a
day too soon.
The happy moment when the revelers
upset walters and wine, smashed hats
canes, and regulations, broke furniture
and pocketbooks, and generally greeted
the New Year in that painfully civilized
fashion, that is part of the indelibIe Gus
tom of the great American flation-all
this Is gone by. 1t came a day too soon.
One of the Reformers.
Which reminds me:
In lonely corner of a prominent cafe
sat solitary man last night, Juggling
with Scotch highball His dress suit
locked tired. His silk hat.one of the
noncrushabe kind - also looked tired.
much as if some merry Jester had sat
upon it or hit it with a cane The soIi-
tary man looked tired.
Lifting his highball. he soliIouuized to
himself, and this Is what he said:
Yep; I'm going to be good; I'm going
TO reform and buy n cottage and have
children; I'm going to have wife to
meet me at the door when | come home,
tired and ragged from a days hard toll;
and never again will l seek pleasure out
side OF this dove cote which | will build
But-f anything happens and these
resolutions go wrong, don't blame me,
rather Time. Remember that YOU
switched the days on me so I couIdn't
make my resolution on the last day of
the old year. Remember it wasn't NV
fault because / didn't have any place to
celebrate the old year and the coming
of the new except en- Sunday Maybe this
resolution won't take. If it doesn't, the
fault isn't mine"
Some Go to Smash.
Anybody present who feels the same
way about 1t, please rise-oh, %: not all
at once. Remember, good resolutions.
like good intentions. should be respected,
no matter what happens to them.
OF course. we'll respect them If they
turn out to be solid, respectable resolu-
tions And if they don't-what's that.
doctor? Oh, yes, ''NehiI nisl male bo-
num-
Long after midnight Saturday the cars
took home hundreds upon hundreds of
marrymakers-little girls. big girls. old
men, young men, some happy. some
gloomy; all filled with the annual deter
mination to lead a nobler. higher. better
life. There were handshakings and
hearty good-bys and many:
Well, good luck, old man, hope you
stick to it,
And the well-wished. smiling with the
fortitude Of early Christian martyrs.
tramped homeward, singing hymns and |