The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1911-11-03
The Friendly
Critic


When jerks returned to the Office
after visit to the tonsorial parlor he
was In happy frame of mind. For
two weeks he had been urged to get his
hair cut. The entreaties finally took
the form OF command and 1t really
looked as though there might be per-
sonal damage If jerks didn't acquiesce
and let the barber trim the mat down
to reasonable proportions.
They will go into OBSTACLES Of de-
light now, dare say" muttered jerks.
"The've won. The hair is cut and they
can see for themselves"
jerks, your intentions were fine
the head bookkeeper remarked. "but
in the name of Mike. who is your
barber?"
"One Of the best in town." jerks
replied. HE charges 35 cents for his
haircuts, and he has had world of
experience"
why didn't he finish the job?" the
credit man asked.
HE gave me haircut, didn't hep
jerks replied, doggedly.
There is no doubt that he started
something" the head bookkeeper
broke in. WAS he in hurry?"
mo, he wasn't in a hurry"
1.-THE haircut appears all right te
me-" the credit mans stenographer
interrupted, except that the sides
don't balance"
"Why don't they balance" jerks
| asked.
1.-THE right side is longer than the
left SIDE"
THE sides are all right" the head
bookkeeper broke in.
Indeed" jerks retorted. 81 was
under the impression that one of them
was left"
II mean that the sides are even,
the head bookkeeper returned. "They
might appear to be uneven, but that's
an optical illusion. You kind o hang
down on one side, anyway"
Il note that the barber shaved
the back of your neck" the credit man
said.
''Is that what you call it?" the ste
nographer asked. Il thought that he
had shaved the back of his head"
"You know l appreciate these crit
cisms," jerks said, "but you have my
| permission to saw off at any time
The haircut suits me-"
That's because you feel 1t, and
| don't see it.
81 can look at 1t If want to-" ex
claimed jerks.
But don't do it, old man; for the
peace of your mind, don't do it. Think
of us-we have to look at it."
I'm New York, you know" the
credit man resumed, "a first class
barber never shaves a mans neck
| unless he has a Hick In the chair
and wants to entertain the other
| BARRIERS. Why, any man who would
walk down Broadway with his neck
shaved would be arrested for melting
| riot"
When the noon hour arrived, jerks
sneaked over to the barber shop and
began cross-examination.
What do you think of this hair
| cut?"
"A fine haircut" the barber sid.
lis it cut even?"
II belong to the union; you don't
think I'd cut 1t uneven, do you?"
do you think you should have
shaved that neck"
Shaved your neck? What did you
| want me to do-cut your hair and
leave bunch of corn silks on the
back of your neck FIR the cows to
play WITH"
Il never thought of that, but the
gang over there says they don't
shave 'em in New York"
Don't worry about the way they dc
things In New York Let me tell you
something (the barber grew confiden
tial and spoke in whispered tones) the
ginks around here that tell you aboI,
the way they do things in New York
| never saw New York except on the
railroad map. They get their style
charts from De Soto, Mo-, For
get It."
That's an example of the power OF
suggestion" the barber remarked, aft
er jerks had departed Them same
guys, you know, make well-meaning
citizens throw away new five-dollar
hats. Ever have crowd of 'em di
agnose a boil on the back of your
neck? They'll have you thinking that
The bolts goin' to break on the in
side and cause death by blood poi
oning before you can telephone the
| police. On the level. they do"