The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1911-01-03
A FAIR EXCHANGE

Farmer Ephraim Brown perched
upon the rail fence of his horse pas
ture and bewailed the two great sOr-
rows of his life. In the distance,
plodding leisurely down the lane, at
tached to a rope teld by Squire JEFF
ferson Ramsey, was a COW that gave
unbelievable quantities of the richest
creamiest milk. Brown longed and
yearned for her as man longs and
| yearns but once in life.
The other browning sorrow of his
life stood nearer. 1t Was the sorrel
-filly he had bought the week before
from Elder Hezekiah Tilford. She
looked like a winner all through. But
on each occasion as Farmer Brown
had hitched her to a vehicle she had
kicked the dashboard into the next
magisterial distriCe.
Squire Ramsey had the famous Jer-
sey at the end of an extraordinarily
long rope and he walked so carefully
and skittishly that Farmer Brown
wondered
"Mornin', EphIaim," saluted the
owner of the COW. Are you as plum
set on my Jersey as you useter be?"
Farmer Brown thoughtfully combed
out his potrlarchal whiskers. "Oh,
dunno" he said, noncommittally.
The Jersey cavOrted around and
Squire Ramsey cried out with I'M
necessary vigor. "Sough-sough there,
say" AS the cow Quilted lie looked
shamefacedly at his neighbor. "Betsey
lowed as how We had too many cow
critters" he explained. Thought you
might want to swap son.ethin' or
other"
Farmer Brown strove to conceal his
wild joy. He spat leisurely at the
grazing sorrel and plated his sheik-
like beard. Il got a might good boss
there" he observed.
Squire Ramsey proceeded to ex-
anime the grazing sorrel. AS he
passed behind the animal Farmer
Brown cried out. "Stop, you ding
dumbed fool! Don't go back there!"
Then as the squire showed his sur
prise Farmer Brown made diversion.
Lets have look at the Jersey"
He began to pat and poke the sleek
COW; the COW fidgeted about and
Squire Ramsey went suddenly white.
"Jumpin' jackrabbits!" he cried. Let
that COW alone! Sough, Dolly, sough
now-seugh!"
With both owners somewhat suspi-
cious, yet eager, the trade was quick
ly contaminated and Farmer Brown,
su ldenly generous and with twinkle
in his eye, offered the loan Of
blackboard.
I'll let you hitch her up. squire"
he said, but you'd better sit in the
back end, cause that's the kickingest
boss in Jasper county,
"All right Ephriam," retorted
Squire Ramsey, with a grin, land
you'd better handle that ere Jersey
with mitts, cause she's done swallow
ed six sticks of dynamite"
Great worm-eaten boss cOllars!"
cried Farmer Brown.
The squire, still grinning. clam
bored into the blackboard. Instantly
the sorrel mare released her hind
feet as if shot from a catapult, hurl-
ing the dashboard into the clover
field. The sorrel began to back and
plunge about.
"Rustling fodder stacks!" cried the
squire in terror. Keep that volcano
of horse away from that cow" He
was too late. With a final triumphant
effort. the sorrel pumped her hind
feet into the fat sides OF the blue rib
bon wonder. There was a roar, a
puff and a soft thud and splatter.
Farmer Brown, hurled backward
against Squire Ramsey, looked in
vain for his newfound cow. Half a
mile Town the lane the wonderful
kicking sorrel sped madly. the ruins
Of the blackboard strewn along the