davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
Nubs of knowledge

BeeswaX and turpentne form an effective
combination to clean bronze.
Municipal tramways Of the United King
dom employ more than $1,000 persons.
Eight years are required to bring the
average oocoanut tree into bearing.
The population Of Japan is increasing at
rate of about 10000 a year
The Chinese army advisory board is plan
ming a complete survey of the entire en-
pre for general as well as military pur-
poses
Russia planted 24O. iis ss6 acres in grain
last year, the largest Ia its history.
California furnishes about three-fourths
of quicksilver produced in the United
States.
A simple test for the purity of sugar Is to
burn 1t. II pure, fire viii entirely consume
IT. II adulterateh, n viii leave an ash.
The Odor OF onions will disappear II AZ.
fected cutlery be inserted In fresh earth for
few minutes
The famous Hoosac railroad tunnel In
Massachusetts viii be electrified at a cost
II about 100000
Nearly 100000 will be spent for the en-
couragement of agriculture by the Danish
government this year.
The Italian government is fostering ex-
periments in the raising Of cotton in that
country, which now imports more than
100000 worth Of the new staple each
year
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

when man ceases to bleat that the woman
she did tempt he when lovely woman
quits ending all losing arguments by burst
ing into weeps; when Carnegie gives away
his last centavo; when avistors cease
flying down faster than up; when Well
man Is coaxed into balloon again; when
women cease rouging and powdering; when
ice Is cheap in summer and coal in win
ter when senators are elected peacefully
and without scandal; when standpatters
and insurgents kiss and make up when
women wear trousers gracefullyi when the
white races hope is found; when the north
pole controversy Is settled to the satisfac-
ton Of all; when the infant industries
grow up; when women stop wearing low
shoes on sIushy days; when the Ballinger
case expires when the Sherman law is
finally interpreted and when a trust is
actually busted when and then a few
whens and not until then this new planet
will have simmered down enough to stake
out in town lots and to advertise. as a
choice suburb. You will pardon me while
pause to laugh. Ha! Hal Two has
why the mirthful outburst'' asked
Friend wife, suppressing a yawn.
Il was thinking how a regular star
would feel II stranded 5Ss5, e96. 300 miles
from Broadway said the Tired Business
Man. ~ 'tt'
Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

public They will not laugh unless the
Witticism is finished by a nod Of the head
or a certain movement. of the body
1t is on this account that certain
comedies, great successes In this country.
are absolute failures in Great Britain.
Something must be done when a laugh
line Is spoken on the English stage 10
give the audience an inkling that the
witticism has been completed. Then you
get your laugh. ...r
Not so, on the contrary with AmSri-
cans. remember Of hearing OF an in
cident involving one Of Olga Nethersols's
first appearances in this country. Sew
eral times during the performances the
celebrated actress walked TO the, sides and
exclaimed to the stage manager: What's
the matter? Are they going to hiss me
Off? Why, they applaud before they hear
the end OF the lines In each instance
she was told that the audiences was
quicker than the audiences 70 which abe
had been accustomed 10 playing She was
told the Americans grasped the meaning
and the wit OF her lines when she had
spoken only half OF them. The actress.
although she received all kinds OF ap-
plause during the performance, seemed
disheartened Washington Post
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
English and American Wit

Nothing illustrates the difference be-
tween English ard American wit more,
probably, than the manner in which play
wrights write their lines" said Rupert
Hughes, journalist and playwright of New
York, In Washington There are few
people who realize the intrcacy Of the
science Of writing 1augh-that Isl line
capable Of producing laugh from an audi
ence.
"A man may write one OF the funniest
lines ever given TO the American stage,
and see It ignored by an audience be-
cause OF some act on the part Of the pro-
ducing company or one member OF that
company. ] have seen the wittiest OF re-
marks wasted because OF the move OF a
hand or Of the head Of the comedian or
actor who enunciated It. Then, again,
the laugh Is taken out OF a line by the
moving Of some person in the stage set
ting or by the moving Of some part OF
the setting Itself. Il is funny how the
slightest move on the part OF an actor,
after reciung certain lines, absolutely
eliminates the wit from what he has Just
spoken so far as the audience Is con
cerned. This is 80 OF American audiences,
but not so Of the English theater going
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

mutter as fiercely as possible, you web"
when Mrs Thompson brought him up and
introduced him TO me-
Much good It did me, as didn't hear his
name at all, and wasn't put next to him at
dinner. Before we went in he Just had
, time to say, IT'S too good to be true
actually meeting you here. l was begin
ming 10 give up hope. Was thinking of
sleeping in the parks. so as to have more
OF a chance TO get glimpse of you on the
streets, though the glimpses I've had have
been most tantalizing!" l thought OF the
time ] had smiled such a little bit at him
as we had left the restaurant that night
and the time | had smiled such little bit
at him the time 7 saw him standing look
and the time l had smiled such a little bit
out OF the car window at him, and said.
Where have / everd seen you before?" l
looked right at him. too. but as II / was
looking at a very distant view
II took a good deal OF nerve, but I've got
quite a lot, sometimes lie said, Haven't
you? I'll see you after dinner about Il.
may IT, I said. mot about that do
wish ] hadn't smiled even q little bit, those
other times. DO you think I'm very IN
lady like?' lie said, Il think YOU are
simply But you must never, never smile
al any other mtn. OF course, with me Il
was all right" We had to go in to dinner
then
Copyright, 1911 by the n. Y Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
To Announce an Engagement

the engagement. of her. daughter to Mr..
James G. Soule.
II is natural that some persons who have
not read the printed notice will receive
cards for the tea. Those, on the day ap-
pointed. are told by the hostess.
Whether the announcement is being sent
out formally or not. girl and her mother
as well, always writes notes to a few most
intimate friends, telling them the news and
asking them to let their other friends know
at certain date mentioned.
For such friends to make the announce
ment before the time specified would be
the gravest breach of confidence. but after
the date has passed they are desired to
help to spread the news.
When an engagement is announced In
formally, it should still be published in a
newspaper, that more friends shall hear OF
it promptly The girl also writes TO her
nearest friends. but she does not set a
time for being at home TO receive them.
They are, however, supposed to call ct
once, and It is a graceful custom to send
flowers with cards OF congratulations 10
the bride elect. ROSANNA SCHUYLER.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

The Tired Business Man
! see that .thsy = have photographed a
tbI WAbTBR a. SINCLAIR

Il see that 'they have photographed
new star observed Friend wife.
Syndicate or .antiF asked the Tired
Business Man, 'Oh, yes. / remember-the
one that's so far away that none Of us
dsres, try to speak the figure rapidly. OF
course, Hs easy for those scientists to keep
hitting the zero key on the typewriter be-
cause they know that nobody IL going out
to make sure that the new, twinkle-twinkle
is net every foot Of 5.sg5 900 miles
from earth. ANYWAY ] won't do IT, You
can quota noe on that.
'Illi bet that none Of the. old first night
ers Of the baldhead row can see anything
in going to the first night performance Of
a new star-thls is her absolutely first ap-
pesrande, l. road-zvhen the nearest they
can get to the STAGE IS 5,s65 SOC. OOO 900 miles
tickets bought from the SPECTATORS posi-
lively refused. l like TO roll out that five
well, you know how many miles / said
II has . fine, houthsfIiing sound. guess
II would fln the biggest mouth that ever
needed filling.
But just imagine the real critics sitting
up in the frohtsro looking through their
telescopes and finding fauR with the per-
formanoe. Taking q, good peek. they see a
swirling mass Of 100000. 10000 miles in
diameter giving the hook to the new star
and firing her'out into iimitless space, the
dream OF the country correspondent. This
spiral nebpla, or words 70 that effect is or
are whipping duto shape q nice new star
and Old Father Time will be her stage
manager This will all be news to persons
who thought that stars were made by a
trust with headquarters in wall street and
factories in Pittsburg. A lot Of us have
grown 10 think constellation Is not too
large job for a trust head to direct
Taking It for granted that this new
world has come on the Job and is sputter-
ing away up there, up above the world so
high, like a Diamond match in the sky.
and is beginning to cool off, let us look
little ahead and try to imagine when It will
be ready for tenants. I suppose the new
planet will eventually be fixed up with
all modern Inconvenience and allow Sc
lect families to move inland then out.
when? Oh. that's hardly worth bother
ing about! When the lamb and the lion
share the same folding bed when the
mQther-in-iaw joke has retired; when a
Self-retrieving colar-button is invented
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
HE STUCK A BLACKHEADED PIN IN
MY SHOULDER"

HE STUCK A BLACKHEADED PIN IN
MY SHOULDER"
proper swing to Il, and It would have been
all off. don't mean the-oh well, any
way, It was aggravating my looking like
such goose. He probably thought my
slippers were too small for me. They
were but they made my feet look awfully
nice. tried 10 look like a woman we'll
versed in the ways OF society as 1 righted
myself, and at any rate knew was
dressed for the part.
think I looked at least thirty, and my
earrings gave me a good deal Of con-
fidence. / think ! looked a good deal like
a woman with a history, myself.
In a moment Of weakness l told Johnnie
that on the way uptown. He said he didn't
think so. He added that / looked as
though It might be with me some day,
however, and that he hated me In ear
rings. and begged me 20 remove them /
told him ne was childish. That all the
women were wearing them, and that l
adored them. / also said that I could
imagine having a man love affair with
green jade ones on. He told me not to. be
a little idiot And I thought he was falling
In love with met
When we got to Elsie's and I was begin
ming TO feel dignified again after the rug
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
Name and Address.

The formal announcement Of an engage
ment to be married adds to the gayety of
a girls life at that time. but she can have
good time without going to the expense
Of elaborate entertaining, and may still
feel that she is fulfilling the laws Of ETH
quette.
To make an announcement formally a
large tea is given by the girls mother, or
her guardian, II the parent is dead. To
speak quite accurately, announcement is
made just previous to the tea, but the lat
ter gives occasion for all friends who have
not heard the news to be told II.
II is the custom to publish the fact of an
engagement in a newspaper, after which
congratulations begin to be sent by friends.
The printed announcement may be as
simple as the fact can be phrased and the
news is given IN the name of the girls
parents, as:
Mr. and Mrs. Edward John Howard an
nounce the engagement of their daughter,
Mary, to Mr., James G. Soule.
Or Il may read:
Mrs. Edward John Howard has sent out
cards for an cat Home" on Wednesday
afternoon, February the third, to announce
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
Predictions that Don't Pan

fording due support to the national govern
ment.". This forecast John Marshall made
absurd.
When Louisiana was annexed Senator
White remarked in debate that gentlemen
on all sides. with very few exceptions,
agree that the settlement of this country
win be highly injurious and dangerous 10
the United States and that its ineorpora-
zion into the uBipn you'd he. productive
OF innumerabie evils
In 1911. In a speech on bill to permit
the organization OF state out of the
Louisiana purchase. Representative Josiah
quincy OF Massachusetts asserted that II
The measure should pass. the bonds qof
this union are virtually dissolved
In the COS a Seotchman. Patrick shirreff
made a journey through the United States
and published the results OF his oBserva-
tons in a book. At that time Chicago was
a town. Of $50 houses. OF it's future the
traveller wrote; Chicago will, in all prob
ability, attain considerable size, but its sit
uation is not so favorable to growth as
many other places in the union
In 1862 Lincoln. In a message to congress,
predicted population OF 1S0OOOOOO for the
United States in 1910, and of 1s7. 10000 in
1920 This estimate was 100000 too large
The trouble was that the country Didn't
keep on growing after 1860 as 1t had up to
that time.
And the list might be continued IN
definitely, Most people think they can see
into the future. but most people can't
There have been notable fulfiIments OF
predictions. But consider the vast number
Of prophecies in every persons experience
that have gone wrong.-Kansas City Star
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
Remarkable Blind Boy

DR. William II. Maxwell has announced
the graduation OF the first blind pupil Of
the public school system In New York
city. The boy who Is regarded by the
teachers as a marvel, is William Schenck,
10 years old, OF Bayside l.. l.. and passed
the examinations with a percentage OF 9OlA
the highest OF 40 scholars. lie also re-
ceived the Davis Character medal.
Or Maxwell said the bay has made the
most wonderful and rapid progress since
he was admitted. to the school. During
the last year the boy has done four years
work
Young schenck was admitted as a pupil
in October. 1903. lie came 70 the school
without any knowledge Of the Braille sys-
tenn, which is used for blind pupils In the
public schools. lie formerly attended the
New York institute for the Blind and was
taught the New York point system.
II took the boy just three weeks to learn
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
A Good Excuse.

A second grade boy in one Of the Phil
adelphia schools came in late recently,
when the following colloquy between the
teacher and pupil ensued
why are you late, Thomas?'
Couldn't come no sooner"
You should get up earlier All the other
children we're here on time"
II was up in time, but l couldn't come no
sooner"
why couldn't you come any sooner II
you were up in timer"
I'LL couldn't find my pants"
That's good excuse. Thomas. You
may take your seat."-Lippincotts
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

The business OF making predictions is no
tollously dangerous. II is always the part
OF discretion to restrain, or. IL that be i'm
pc sslble to make them at such time that
they will have been forgotten before the
events predicted come to pass.
rom the founding OF the United States
government. when Franklin predicted that
It muse end at no distant day in despotlsm-
down to the time of the late senator from
Arkansas who was always so confidently
predicting the election 4of Mr., Bryan, the
history OF the country IS streRn with
prophecies that failed to come true.
In 1888 Alexander Hamilton wrote of the
electoral college system for eiecting the
president, that III the manner be not per-
feet. II is at least excellent; Il unitos in an
eminent degree all the advantages the
union OF which was to be- Wished for.
Yet in a decade the fieetors would not
have thought Of exesetsiRg their consttu-
Ncnal prerogativesif
Hamilton ptedlGfea thaf2the house would
have no small SHFihtage" over the sen
ate In a digpnteg because It would be the
popular branch Of the government and be-
cause It wo,Ia have the power OF original
ing all money hlls switch would be a
strong .Raapon But ttg.A senate soon be-
came the dominant partner, and the house
found that the power to amend money bills
exercised by the senate nullified the advan-
tsge Of originating them.
AZ the time of John Adams admnistra-
ton John Jay refused the appointment as
chief tussee on the ground' that The bench
would pever attain the energy. weigh,
and dighfy which were essential to its at
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
cODyHssl rassaAs Css Ssh HsA oOaSa
ntAaNESsvoA 40 ea0..

Oh oh, OBJ I've actually been intro
duced to him He was at Elsie's dinner
after all, and II was her house he was
going TO that day when he got off the car
that l was in. When / went in the room
the other night, and saw him talking to
Mrs. Meekman couldn't believe my eyes.
He stopped speaking when he saw me, and
stood staring at him, and l felt like a
book Then ! tripped on the rug, hang it
Il simply can't be romantic Agnes would
have floated along with faraway look
and her dress would have had just the
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

Debit yourself TO the extent Of your abll-
ity with each DAYS individual duties
BE credit 20 yourself your employer
and those around you.
So conduct yourself that at the end OF
each year you can carry forward a balance
OF satisfaction. perseverance,. patience and
a renewal OF ensgy 70 meet future de-
mands.--IrOm Business IS
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

NWUTNUNNfNs
So many people suffer
From this dread malady,
1t comes on Sunday morning,
And lasts till after tea
Its symptoms often vary;
II brings on prolonged sleep;
Inducing shrinking nervousness;
Young patients often weep,
But one thing ! have noticed
In cases roundabout;
The victims all seem anxious
To have their church cut out.
Eta Anthony Baker in Llppincott s
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
Boy of Good promise,

Gen. Howard was an invited guest at a
dinner given by boys patriotic club.
You eat very well, my boy" said the
general TO doughty young trencherman.
If you love your flag as we'll as your din
ner you'll make good patriot"
Yes, sir" said the boy; but I've been
practicing eating twelve years and / amt
owned a gun but six months. Success.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
The subtIety of Him.

John dear" said Mabel, as her lord and
master entered the house, i've Just had a
letter from mother and she is coming to
visit us. u is a pretty expensive trip for
little Muddy and wondered II we couldn't
help her out a little
OF course We cans said John giving
his wife generous kiss Just you write
and tell her that IN be only TO glad 20
pay for her railroad ticket hack home again
as soon as she decides TO go"-Harper's
Weekly.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

episode, and had turned MY luck on him
was simply petrified to RsRr, Johnnie say
ing, Here. Gellie, let me try and hook the
back OF your waist up.slYou must have
gone off in hurry!" IniagineAimagine a
real woman Of the world in such a posi-
ton.
He said, :-'Oh, it's all right Just one
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
Daily Health Hint

Stimulation means hurrylng, and should
be followed by resting to equalize matters
for it is impossible for the heart and other
organs to work without sufficient rest.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

the Braille system and then he was I'd.
mitted to Class r and studied with the
other scholars. In three more weeks he
stood at the head Of his class In the re-
cent and other examinations the questions
we're read TO him by his teacher. and he
answered them on a typewriting machine.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

little place. Got pin. 9lsie?" And he
stuck q big black-headed pin in my Shout
der. ] squealed as softly as possible,
though 1 should have liked 10 scream, and
hit him. Then he said, There, you look
almost decent now, Gellie. What would
you do without me?" l only had time TO
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

Homes mot merely four square walls
hough With pictures huns and gilded;
Home iatwhere affection calls
Fled with shrines the heart has builded
Hame' Do watch the faithful dove
Sailing heath the heaven above US,
Home is where there's one 40 love,
Home - where there Is one 20 love us!
HPsue pdt merely roof and room
~ noeNs something 10 endeap a.
Home % Where the heart can bloom.
whore theres some kind lip 90 cheer e,
What ts haEae Eyita nuna tn sueet
None 90 NeasuolE nlunc 70 gseet usg
Home is sweet and onlf sweet
A. ht-c there one who iovCs 90 meet as
Charles swain.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
CnIIInr IA nInff.

Diner-Waiter, this knife Is blunt. and
the steak is like leather
Waiter-Yessir: do nicely for stropping
the knife on sir.-Tit- Bits.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

lie twho has Just proposedl-.I hope you
don't think I'm too old for you?
she-oh' no! l was only wondering II you
were old enOugh.-Illustrated Blts.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

A kind-hsarte6 old lady, while yiglthg q
prison. said 20 one OF the inmates. Il sup
pose you will be glad when your time Is
up}'
We'll. not so very" -.....-
mot glade Why not?'
I'm here Tor clipping with the servant
dri and my wife viii be waning Far me
outside '-Lippmcottfs
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

We ard iolo that God made man in His
own maze but woman seems 10 feel the
necessity 81 improving her appearance
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

Some hfn are 90 temperate in their
speech that they wouldn't even swear at
an aiartn clock
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

our teoebles lose part Of their sting
when weafe able TO cor Ince ourselves that
We didn't borrow them.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

For ona man who is ambitious to leave
footprints IN the sands Of time. there are
dozen 10 cover up their tracks.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

The key to the situauon-Bss Want Ads
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

a word TO the wise is sufficient which
expainstWhy lawyer will talk TO a jury
Tor half38 dav,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

Perhars the time will come when women
viii vote. but. at least, they will never be
able to thfow mud straight enough to hit
the candidate they aim at-Philadelphia
Ledger ~. t.a
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

Tho mast popular advice to give woman
is 20 teU her to do as she thinks hest.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

To reJitlt at leisure requires more time
than the average man has at his disposal
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13

A matte logic win carry him almost as
far as tpstnct Will carry a woman.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-02-13
Gentle OyniC

Fqattegs is fault trat is quickly cured
by marriage.
Being ground down is seldom what makes
a man sharp.