davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
PARS0N SAUNDERS WISDOM
Having Made a Mistake In Scrlptural
Reading He Said "Here Endeth
the Wrong Lesson"

Champ Clark, the noted Demo
cratic leader, was condemning, in a
speech in Bowling Green, a political
measure.
"It's a wrong measure he said,
"and our friends would do well to
admit it's a wrong measure. To adj
nit an error wins people over-to
admit an error is almost as good as
to retrieve it.
"Take the case of Parson Saun-
ders.
"Parson Saunders, a little per-
turbed one Sunday morning over the
high cost Of living or some such
worldly matter, made a mistake in
the reading Of the S%criptural lessons.
He read the second lesson where he
should have read the first.
GAS he neared the end of his read
ing the parson saw that he was in
error. He saw hal his congrega-
ton knew he was in error. How,
then, conclude?
"To conclude in the orthodox way
Here endeth the second lesson
would hardly do, as it vas not the
second lesson, but the first; nor
could it, on the other hand, be called
the first lesson, since it properly was
the second.
"Parson Saunders, after a mo-
ment'S thought, wisely and frankly
concluded.
"'Here endeth the wrong lesson
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
TELLING TIME IN THE DARK
Close Guess by Counting tho Turns Of
Of the Key Needed to Wind
the Watch.

"The other night when l got
showed into q New jersey farm
house." said the man who goes hunt
ing, 81 shared my room with a man
whom I thought at one time to be
superhumanly gifted, but whom 1
found atterward was only an OBJ
serving mortal with a good memory.
While it was still pitch dark I want
ed to find out what time 1t was. I
was preparing to stumble down.
stairs in search OF a light, but my
roommate said he could save me the
trouble. He took his watch from
under his pillow and fooled with a
minute; then he said:
"It is Just about three o'clock
"I knew he could neither see mol
feel the hands, so I asked how h'
could tell.
"By counting the turns Of thu
key it takes to wind the watch a
this minute he said. I wound my
watch at eleven o'clock. l always
wind it at eleven. 1t takes JUS
twelve complete turns of the key tc
wind it then. That makes approxi'
mately one turn for every two hours
Just now I turned the key twice
which shows that about four hours
have elapsed since eleven o'clock"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
THE PRIZE.

A farmer calling at the village
school was asked by the master if he
would like to question the scholars.
So he said to the class: 'If either of
YOU can tell me the weight of the
moon, the depth of the sea and what
| am thinking about | will give a
prize of sixpence." There were twin
brothers in this class named Sam
and Joe. Now Joe put up his hand
and the farmer said, "Well, Sam,
what is your answer" Joe replied;
"The weight of the moon is four
quarters, the depth of the sea is a
stones throw" and then he paused.
The farmer responded, "Well, Sam,
what am l thinking about?" ''Why,
you are thinking you are talking to
Sam, when it is his brother Joe >
Ideas.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
Real Estate Transfers.

Deeds filed for record in the
Recorders office, Lafayette
County, Missouri, week ending
Saturday, Feb. 10, 1911. Compil-
ed by Lafayette County Alb
stract Company. Ike II. Noyes,
Manager, Lexington, Mo.
C. w. Sharp and wife to We'd
den G. Sharp, 81, a part S E. N.
W. 2-49-26.
Peter II. Larkin to VIM. E.
Bear $500 20 A. pit. E. S. W. g.
SLIPS.
De Forest Spore ct al. to Mary
i. Spore 81, lots II & u, block
3, Odessa.
Martha S. Flenniken to Belle
Gossett $1,000, lots II and H.,
block s, Patterson & Smiths Ad-
dition to Odessa.
Gustav Frerking to John w,
Endly 1885, lot 5, block c., lungs
Add, to Higginsville.
Frank Meirand to Chas. Osa
81 LOT 8 and e. 70 lot 9. i'm Ber-
tie L. Wilson Subdivision to Cor
der.
Dorinda Powell to C. Tacitus
Miller 1925 section %, Township
IS, Range %.
VIM. II. Hurst to JAS. w, Ham
nah, Jr., $4,000 lot Is, block 4,
Patterson & Smiths addition to
Odessa.
VIM. B. Buford to Reding V.
and Pearl 3. Fulkerson, Deed
$4,000 E. S. L. 27-49-27.
Henry Knipmeyer to E. j
Knipmeyer $1,000 N. N. w. 1850
"a.
Artie J.. Stanfield to NJ. EC
Stanfield $4,000 p interest il
w. S. W. 26 and 25-49-27.
j. L. Fajen to Chas. Meyiu'
$4,000 pit. S. w. S. E. 28-5O-24.
Theo Hoefer to Malcolm B. A
witt $3.50, lots 7, 8, 8 and 10
block B. Korthanke & Hoefer'.
sub. to Higginsville.
Adolph Miller to Henry Hart
wig $500, lots II and y, blocl
q, Pomeroy's Addition to Licking
ton.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
Letter List.

The following mail remained
uncalled for at the Lexington
Postoffice Saturday, February
25, 1911.
Letters.
Mrs. Mary Cantrell, Tilden Eos
ter, Miss Aileen Hannah, Gorg
Hourd, Mrs. Della Jordon, Leroy
Kratzer, Herbert j. Krum, Henry
I,arcy, Miss Mary Lawson, Miss
Mary Lee, Carl Lincoln, George
Lloyd, Caster Miller, Cal Stewart,
VIM. H. Smith, Mrs. R. Owen
Smith, Mrs. Belle Size, Geo. H.
Smith, Mrs. Caria Souder, Solo
mon Talbartt, George W. Win
tiers.
Cards.
John Adams, Luther BOxx, Ros
W. Crawford, Eddis (2), Davis
billiard, Geo. Eggleston, Eddie
Hill, Albert Jordon, Miss Pearly
Mady, Miss Ethel Miller, j. w
Miller, Miss Jirdin Moses, Mas.
ter William & Mary E. Nelson
Frank Ricco, Miss Jessie Smith
Soloman Tolbert, Mrs. Addie Viii
liams.
When calling for this maj
please say it was advertised.
JOHN K. TAUBMAN,
Postmaster.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
PETREL AND

The Stormy Petrol is 80 named,
not because it braves the storm, but
because, as soon as a storm threatens,
it will often seek for refuge on a
ships rigging, and thus foretell the
tempest. And if the albatros loves
the stormy waves it is only because it
frequently alights upon the water,
where it often sleeps securely to the
rocking Of the billows.-Hachet-
Souplet, in Strand.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25

OF his ll1eluS, MI. Cldfh )
reciprocity speech was one Of
the best Of his entire career. In
terrupted time and again by Re
publicans who had studiously
thought up queries to harass
him, the Missourian answered his
questioners so effectively and
with such ease that the House
was impressed probably as never
before with the great ability Of
the man.
"Now, while ! am at it." said
Mr.. Clark, addressing the Re-
publicans. II want to say this
That neither myself nor any of
my party associates has the
slightest desire whatever to in
jure any legitimate business in
America-nOne whatever. 1t is
a thing incredible that any sane
man would want to do that. We
have as much at stake in the re-
public as you have. We did as
much to make it what it is as
you did. Our ancestors have
been here as long as yours have.
They fought as valiantly and as
frequently to establish this repub-
lie. Our children and your chill
dren must live here together. And
what the Democrats favor is so
! re-arranging these laws as to give
every citizen of the American re
public a fair chance in the race
Of life. While we are not in
favor of ~injuring any Legitimate
business, we do not propose that
any business shall injure us, If
we can prevent it, by charging
two prices for a necessary article
Of life where it ought to charge
but one. The cost of living by
reason of the high tariff and
trusts has become so high hat il
is with extreme difficulty thai
millions of people manage to live
) at all"
Mr.. Clark was asked how he
would raise revenue to run the
government if he placed so many
accessories of life on the FREE
list as to reduce the revenues.
II would raise it by a gradu
} ated income tax declared Mr.
Clark amid loud applause, witt
= about $4,000 or $1,000 exemption
{ and | think it would be the just
| est tax that was ever levied
} Still addressing the Republi
cans, Mr.. Clark said;
"For the last six or eight year
] there has been no reformation
e ACKNOWLEDGEMENT through Con
gress except by the aid Of Demo
= clatic votes. You could not hay
e passed one of them, and yor
+ know it. You could not hay
passed the Cuban reciprocity bil
TO have saved your souls will
out us; you could not have pas
2 ed the Porto Rican bill witt
T out US; you could not have passe
the Philippine tariff bill witt
i out US"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
Washington News.
By Tavenner.

By Tayenner.
With hopes temporarily bright
ened by the magnificent speech
made on behalf of Lorimer by
Senator Bailey of Texas, the
lumber trust, the railroads and
Standard Oil are making a des-
perate final effort to save the
Illinois boss from expulsion.
It is very doubtful, however, if
Lorimer can be saved. Whatever
is to be done in the way of en-
treating or forcing senator's to
stand for Lorimerism must be
done within the next couple Of
days. 1t is evident to all that a
vote is near at hand. 1t is con-
ceeded that Bailey did more for
the LOrimer cause than all of
the other Lorimer sympathizers
together. His speech was elo-
quent, able and plausible, Wheth-
er Lorimer's cause is right or
wrong, Bailey made it look as
if right.
The activities of the LOrimer
lobby recall the old and palmy
days Of the lobbying art. Several
5sanators have become disguised at
the tactics Of Lorimer's friends,
and one or two enraged by the
insults offered. "i'f
The lumber trust, represented
by Edward Hines, millionaire Chi
cago lumberman, has been the
boldest in it's operations in the
vicinity Of the senate, but the
railroad lobby has been quite as
active, although less obstructive.
George r. Peck of Chicago,
general counsel of the Chicago,
Milwaukee and st. Paul rail
way, is probably the most prom.
inent of the railroad representa-.
tives working for Lorimer. Peck
is probably better acquainted
with more individual senators
than any other professional Of
business man in the whole cOun
try. He often is in Washington
when legislation affecting tn,
railroads is before the senate
He has been here for more than
week exerting his Influence tt
save the seat of the Illinois boss.
Peck is a partner Of John S
Miller, of Chicago, counsel TO
the Standard Oil company, ant
for the stockyards packers, VIII.
are the political patrons of Lor
inner.
The interest of the railroads i
Lorimer is well known in tn
political world. W. c. Brown
president of the New York Ger
trail, is a director of the LaSall
Street National bank, the finar
cial institution founded by Lor
mer. The Illinois Central like
wise has a deep interest in the r.
tention of Lorimer in the senat,
John G. brennan, attorney fc
that line, has been in Washin!
ion talking to senators in beha.
If Lorimer.
President Taft Influence is b
ing exerted against Lorime
Speaker Cannon is working
save Lorimer.
I'm leyying a tariff | an
favor Of putting the highest ia
iff on the luxuries Of life. ! a
III favor of putting the lowe
tariff, or none at all on the ne
essaries of life"
This is Champ Clark's idea
tariff revision, as the speake
to-be stated it on the floor
the House. In the opinion
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25

Resident-Go your bail? Why 1
don't even know you.
Applicant-0h, yes, ask your gar
dener. Pm the man who comes once
a week to borrow your garden roller.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
NAMING NO NAMES.

She-I have an instinc i've feeling
that I can trust you.
HG (earnestly)-Ah, my darling,
would that some others felt that way.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
HIS SOLE DREAD.

Hammond-Don't you dread the
silent watches Of the night?
Martin-No it's the cuckoo clocks
that give me away.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
H BETTER PART.

'Would you marry an aviator?"
Certainly. 1t is better to be mar
RED for only a little while than
never to be married at all"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1911-02-25
Card of Thanks.

The undersigned desire to ex-
press their profound gratitude to
the kind and loving friends for
their beautiful floral offerings
and generous sympathy shown
to us on the occasion OF the death
and burial of our beloved son
and brother, Trebor II. Smith.
Mr.. and Mrs. NJ. W. Serat.
Mrs. Lutte Smith Whitsett.
Russell NJ. Smith.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-08-04
A BIG CROP OF
 PEACHES THIS YEAR.

So say the heads of the agricultural departments of the state, therefore Peaches and Cream will soon be the order of the day. ''When the fruit begins to ripen on the tree.'' Who ever tasted fine, luscious peach and did not glory in it's delightful savor ? Who ever looked at one without ''wa- tering at the mouth?' The delight is in the eating. We might look and long for one for a lifetime without satisfying the bangs of hunger. Our friends might tell us how delicious they are but we are from Missouri we want to "see," experience, taste. The same with Invader Coal. No matter how highly it is praised by the next door neighbor, the real test of superiority. is in the. trying, burn ing heating. But the test of all tests comes when Jack Frost hammers the mercury down below the .'O' line Then you will find Invader Coal the monarch of Frost Land, ruling the kingdom of ice and snow with a pol icy that subdues and cheers. Patrick McGee sells it at 269 East Washing ton Avenue.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-08-04
TO MAKE TEST OF CASE
Controllers Clerk Carries Dismissal to Civil Service Board, Claiming
 Bad Precedent

New Haven, Aug. AAttacking the action in his case as one liable to furnish a precedent fatal to civil ser vice security in this city, Arthur D. Mullen, who was last month dismiss ed from his position as one of the clerks in the office of Controller Jo- nathan N. Rowe on the ground that the work could be done by a lesser force of clerks, has carried his case to the civil service board for action on it's compliance with civil service rules and regulations. MT. Mullen states in his letter to the board that his purpose is not to gain re-instate- ment for the desire to retain the posi- tion as he will resign immediately if adjudged to be entitled to retain his office. But he claims the action in his case is a precedent which could make insecure the position of any ap- pointee in the fire or police depart ments of the city provided political party in power had a desire to dis pense with their services and thus render null and void any protection that civil service is supposed to give a man.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-08-04
ICE CREAM DEALERS THREATEN TO SUE
 CITY OF NEW HAVEN

New Haven, Aug. "A story is be- ing credited to one of the largest ice cream dealers in the city that he con- templates a suit for damages against the city for several thousand dollars on account of the report of Bacterfol- og1st D. M. Lewis, made recently to the board of health in which was given the percentage of cream and baceria in ice cream made by several local dealers
 This report, it is claimed by certain of the manufacturers, was quite mis- leading and it is probable an expert will be brought here from out of town by the makers to make an analysis which will show the ice cream of the leading dealers to be as good, if not better, than that sold in many other cities and also that the report of Dr. Lewis was incorrect
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-08-04

tre, Denver, where he played charac- ter roles in a stock organization head ed by Maude Fealey and James Dur kin. Of all his successes in Denver his role of the Cardinal in "The White Sister, won him the highest enomiums. John D. Ince whose versatility is un- questioned, who. is the ideal stage lover and who makes a hit of every part he essays. Mrs. Stanhope Wheat croft, known to fame as the head of the Stanhope Wheatcroft School of Acting, Joseph Eggenton always the talented artist no matter what he is called upon to do, Gordon Domaine the handsome young actor who is s big hit in "Wildfire'' this week, the statuesque and clever Antoinette Rochte who will be seen as the Coun- tess, John G. Fee a clever juvenile, Rosamond Carpenter and Clara Brill.
 A rare treat is certainly in store for Bridgeport patrons of Polls and the advance sale of seats would indicate that foresight is a habit with local theatregoers.
 This weeks production of "Wildfire'' is proving the most entertaining play of the season thus far. It fairly brims with comedy and tense situa- tions and is splendidly acted by all.
 The songs between the acts by Tom Driscoll and the Singing Ushers win merited applause and the Baby Show pictures are in their last week the winners being decided Saturday.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-08-04
POL.I'S

The return of Alice Fleming, the popular and magnetic actress, to the cast of the Poli Players next week is one of the pleasant surprises that Manager Poli keeps springing on his patrons and another great surprise is in store for them too next week in the presentation of "The White Sis ter" Without any possibility of a doubt next weeks production will be the most artistic success ever seen during the many years of stock at this popular playhouse and that is a rather broad statement to make but the prediction will be verified. To be- gin with the play in itself is one tempt for it calls for artistic work in the highest degree from every mem- Der of the cast. Then again the su- pervising brains of the production must be of the highest order for there must be no jarring note to the att mosphere. The story is of the church and the state and it requires careful handling.
 In making a prediction of unquali- fled success for this production next week the contributing factors are as follows: first, Oscar Eagle, undeniably the best stock director in America to- day as befits a man for whom David Belasco holds the highest regard so much so that MT. Eagle is under con- tract with MT. Belasco indefinitely. Alice Fleming, talented magnetic, popular and considered by eminent critics Americas best stock actress. Her popularity and ability is unques- toned in this city particularly Again Henry Crosby, fresh from twelve weeks triumQh at the Orpheum Thea
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-08-04
Col. Aslor May Be Brother-In-LaW
 To His Own Son
Special from United Press ,

NOpCClctI 1IOu FT6SS.1
 Newport, R. l., Aug. 4.-Vincent Astor, son of Colonel John Jacob Astor, with company of compan- ions, met his step p-mother-to-be,M Miss Madalene Force. and his father, when they arrived here, on the ColoneFs yacht Noma. This served to en- phasize the difference in ages be- tween Colonel Astor and his fiancee, as young Astor is two years older than the girl who is to be his moth CT.
 The party, which also includes Mrs. Force, Madalene's oldest sister Kath- crime, and several personal friends, went to the big Astor mansion where it is understood the date for the we'd ding is to be settled.
 The opinion prevails that the pair will be married here, early next month, and that the ceremony will be moderately quiet.
 Society gossip had it here, that Astor was first attracted to Miss Force by the attentions his son, Vim cent, was showering upon her. Vim cent met her on the tennis courts and found her such an excellent op- ponent that he prevailed upon his father to play a few sets with her. The AstorForce romance was born on the tennis courts, here.
 Society was also discussing the warm friendship existing between Miss Katherine Force and Vincent Astor and was wondering if there was a possibility of a double we'd ding, with the Colonel becoming a brother-in- to his own son.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-08-04
NOTICE.
Hearing de Construction of a Trunk
 Sewer in the BroOlxlawn Section.

Hearing de Construction of a Trunk
 Sewer in the Brooklawn Section
 At the meeting of the Common Council of the City of Bridgeport held July 3rd. 1911, the following resolu- tion was adopted:
 Resolved: That the Clerk be and hereby is directed to notify the per sons in interest to appear before the Common Council, Council Room, City Hall, City of Bridgeport on the 7th day of August, 1911, at o'clock in the evening to be heard in relation to the construction of a sewer, with proper catch basins, in the Brook lawn section; commencing at and connecting with the present trunk sewer in Dewey street at Maplewood avenue, thence extending northerly in Dewey street to Brooklawn avenue, thence extending northerly in. Brook lawn avenue to Cleveland avenue. thence extending easterly in Cleve- land avenue to Lexington avenue, thence extending northerly in Lex ington avenue to Lincoln avenue, thence extending easterly in Lincoln avenue to Madison avenue.
 Attest.
 STEPHEN F. BOUCHER, a* City Clerk
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-08-04
IS A WOMAN, so
 CAN'T BE LAWYER

Atlanta, Ga, Aug. 4.-Mrs. Minnie Anderson Hale wants to be a lawyer and she's going to be if it takes a special act of the legislature to make her one. There's no other way in man knows, she can't be a lawyer in cause she's a woman!
 Mrs Hale's husband died a few years ago, leaving her a small com petence and a baby. She was up against the bread and butter question and an education for her child. So she studied law.
 Mrs. Hale was a bright student. She took the course at the Atlanta law school and was graduated with honors. Then she appeared before the supreme court for admittance to the bar.
 The laws. of Georgia provide that ev- cry graduate of the Atlanta law school shall be admitted to practice, but an eagle-eyed judge discovered that they also provide that only males" can practice. Consequently, Mrs. Hale was turned down.
 That would have discouraged most women, but Mrs. Hale is young, smart and energetic, so she betook herself to the state house. She has written Q men to practice law in Georgia, and it looks as if the legislature would pass it.
 1T am the victim of obsolete law brought over from England,'' says Mrs. Hale, "but now discarded by the country from whence 1t came. @E'
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1911-08-04
POINTS OF INTEREST.
Radford B. Smith.

Has another big sale tomorrow, Low prices are quoted for blankets, outing flannels, underwear, gloves, skirts, -hleached. and unbleached mus lin, sheets, prints. ginghams and many articles in the hardware and you can ride to the store at this firms expense if you buy a dollar or more and take the package.
 Take It Easy.
 When one is tired out with the days work there is lots of comfort in reclining chair, if. one can sit perfectly quiet for only few mo- ments. The feeling of fatigue takes flight, rest takes its place. That's where the fascination of a good bar ber's chair. comes in. A good shave, the refreshing lotions makes a fel- low feel like a new being. Visit AL bert W. Tiska, 1901 Stratford avenue and you will find out how literally true this is. Be it shave or hair cut he will initiate you into the delights of good barbery.
 A Saving in Household Expenses.
 My lady little realizes the saw ings possible by buying at the Mo- hican Market. Prime cuts of choice beef. lamb and pork, can be purchas- who have been paying fancy prices at the ordinary market. Fruits and vegetables are also marked at selling prices The bakery department abounds in delicacies, bread and pas try, so priced as to make the pennies go farther here than at any other store. Choice groceries, too, of the highest quality all at a saving to the family income. Visit the store this week You will be surprised and pleased at the results.