davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening world., 1911-12-14
Square JalO Of Bulldog or
Alligator Make Up His
Manly Beauty "EdeoL,"
Even If Cross-Eyed,
Wide Jared and Bandy.
Legged.
Female Should Select
Her Mate and Fix the
Standards on Which
Both Should Create a
World for the Child.
BY MXOLA GREELEY.SMiTH.

lis a man made world. my masters"
SUCH Is the message Of Mrs. Charlotte Perkins CT
man. whose most recent volume. THE Man Mad
World" declares that:
Nan alone has made the ideal Of family lite. the
ideal Of female beauty. Mon in the art and Hiera.
f~re OF the Uorid. az WeII as in life itself, has laid a
d'sproporHondte emphasis on ser. Man has made
the hideous fashions. man has created the silly con.
renttons OF Society. Man. In short. has made erery.
thing, and made Il mrong.
Then she takes family life as an instance:
what man has dona 70 thu sanuun A.. ru---
The evening world., 1911-12-14

The female varies less from the nor
NAL than the male. Mrs. Gilman ar
gues. therefore the female. not the
male, should choose the mate. Woman
should select her husband instead Of
being selected By him.
Men like little women. also fat
women, according TO Mrs. Gilman. but
Il 10 not good for the race that women
should be either little or fat. As the
result Of mans persistent preference
for the "ultra-female type" woman has
become too little and too fat-also-ter-
rible thought! She has grown short
legged.
The evening world., 1911-12-14

y . blow a. real human roxress IN
every particular. In u upward ,op,.
ney w should and do grow larger, lesv.
ING tar behind us our DIV arish progen,.
tors.
MAN PREFERS WOMEN SMALLER
THAN AiMsELF.
ret n male. in his unnatural DO
s'tion as seieetor. preferrins for reasons
oo'h practical and sentimental to have
MS oma smaller than himself. ha,
deliberately strlven to lower tho stand.
ard OF size In the race. We Used TO lead
IN the novels OF the las. generation, He
was a magnificent specimen OF man
hood'-Her golden head reached scarce.
~ to his shouider'--'She was n fairy
oreature-the tinlcst OF her sex Thus
we have mated, and yet expected that
by some hocus pocus ;hc boys would all
take after their father ond the girls
their mother. In his efforts to improve
the breed OF other animals man has
never tried to deliberately cross the
large and small ani Ga ect to kesp up
the standard OF size.
A . maio he 10 appealed to ty
tho ultra-fcmirinc, and has gtvsn
small thought to effects on the
race. He was not designed : o do
the selecting. Under his fostering
care we have bred q rae OF women
who are physically weak Enough
"a be handed about like iu%vslids;
or mentally weak enough to pre-
tend they aro-.aud to like IL.
I'VE have made women who respond
so perfectly to the force which made
them that they attach all their idea OF
beauty to those characteristics which
attract men; sometimes humanity ugly
without even knowing 1t.
The evening world., 1911-12-14
ONE RESULT IS WOMEN WITH
SHORT LEGS.

For instance, our long restriction to
house limits. the heavy limitations OF
our clothing, and the heavier ones OF
traditional deccrurn. nave made women
disproportionateiy short-legged. This is
a particularly undlgnifled and injurious
characteristics, bred In wome and IN
heri,ed by men, mos, seen among those
races which keep their women most
closely.
"Yet Then II escapes
tho tendency ana appears with .
normal length Of fsmur aud tibia, o
normal hsig:-t 4 Zip and shoulder,
III 10 criticised and called 'awk-
ward by her squatty sisters"
Mrs. Gilman calls attention to the
only female creature vino carries the
burden OF sex orna ment."
"Alone among al female things"
she rays, 40 women decorate and
green themselves ana exhibit their
borrowed plums6s (iitsraIiyD to
attract male.
women wear bsautaful garments
when they happen &c be the FASH
ION, and ugly garments whom they
are the fashion, and show 60 signs
OF knowing the dif
They show no added pride In the
beautiful. no hint OF modification In
the hideous. and are not even sensitive
under criticism. or open 10 any per-
suasion or argument. Why should they
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26
How to Treat a Husband
May 26, 1911.
Name and Address.

Someone asked me the other day why
certain married couple in our set didn't
get on very well together" said the Wise
Wife. The answer was easy-too much
ready-to-eat food.
Il never thought Edith Jordon was a
genius until observed her ability to dodge
household duties. She knew Of more pre-
pared foods and ready made dishes than
an ordinary woman ever dreamed of, while
her knack Of assembling old canned meats,
prepared salads and indigestible bakery
pies and cakes was little short Of marvel
lous.
She used TO run over here In the after
room to sit awhile Sometimes she brought
a bit Of needlework. but usually she just
chatted about clothes, mutual acquaint-
Ances, pleasant Jaunts. past or TO be-
About half after o'clock she would sud
denly jump to her feet with the excIama-
ton; Mercy! ! had no idea it was 30 late
/ haven't the slightest idea what 10 get
for dinner and John comes at o'clock"
Ham and eggs wouldn't take long, I
would suggest
'No-o-o-o-let me see, this is Tuesday
Oh, finel They have hot devilled crabs at
the delicantessen's today. I'll run up and
get those and some potato salad. That will
be enough, won't IT, with some canned
peasT They won't take long to cook
Poor John! For him 1t Is always cold
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26
Loretas Looking CLASSIFIED Up to the Queerness Of Girls

Girls are queerl I resent having men
say 81; but /. am forced 10 a conclusion
that they know whereof they speak even
II they display bad taste in speaking.
There are some things that ought not to
be mentioned.
You know those shoot-the-cosi arrange
ments that barrirade the sidewalk and
empty the contents OF a big black wagon
into the coal cellars? A girl In a hobble
and one Of them met! She stood meditat-
lively watching the hack stream rushing
cellsrward But she was doing q little
mental arithmetic. Her skirt was a scant
two yards wide The chute was gener-
7ous three-quarters =, And the point OF con-
federation was whether In the quarter OF
yard leeway for a hop, she could get
over the obstacle.
With the black oblivion that enables
them TO get q good many wagon loads a
day delivered, the two coal men did not
see her. They let the black diamonds
awaited them. The girl had a choice Of
being swept into the coal cellar with them
II she stepped into the chute, OF OF going
Jout In the street and dodging automobiles
or-she could hop!
She hoped. The rubioon was crossed
safely. but barely. But the pedestrians
/ who had lined UP 70 watch the issue were
treated 20 sight that was funnier far
. than Lord Dundreary's famous skip. Moth
ing In fact or fiction. on the stage or off.
has ever approached the hobble-hOp as an
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26

SLICED turkey, devilled crabs. summer
sausage and some Of the execrable mix
lures that pass for salad IN the shops No
wonder he looks dyspeptic and is subject TO
spells Of warped disposition
When Edith wants something from, thu
market she never happens to think Of n
until the VERY last moment and then she
mas to pay messenger to rush II over In
time. And yet her case is only one of hum
dreds wherein incomes are taxed and paI.
ates jaded by ready-to-eat food
Il used TO be devotee OF the deIicat-
essen myself" the Wise Wife went on
reminiscently. Then one day 1 realized
now much of Bob's income went IN ,be
prepared food route. We had a litu IN
OF bad luck and I had to retreneh for q
months. When / found how much better
FOOD / could have for less money by mixing
little thought with IT, I discarded the
READY made dishes and have kept to the
nome made articles ever since II have
maid l place the days menu ON the
Kitchen table the evening before and IL I
am alone / arrange my menus and am At
the front window watching for Bob.
"A wife doesn't lose anything by taking
interest in her Monochrome meaning the
kitchen as well as the music room. Every
husband appreciates such interest Ia like
10 advise Edith Jordon to try the magic Of
the words home made as a dispeIier OF
domestic gloom"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26
Automatic Stores for Small Buyers

AT present the market for such wares
Is just the reverse Of what it should be-
The rich. with their ability to buy in guam
tity, are able to purchase their foods and
fuel at little more than a fraction OF the
prices paid by the poor, and by our pres
ent methods this may not be ebytated.
The automatic store-and 1t will just az
surely come as will new designed TO reduce
hand labor through the adoption OF more
efficient machinery-will not only save
through it's ability to make quantity pur-
ohases, but will do away with clerks and
cashiers, will In fact demand only the
presence OF a single person, whose duty
will be that OF general overseer.
These stores. built Of concrete will de-
mand little II any fire insurance, and
may be kept sanitary even IN the most
congested districts by giving them a tho
rough washing with a hose at night.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26

exhibition of eccentric humor!
New York has just been shaken down
to the very bottom of its natural rock
foundation by a horrible catastrophe in
which over 100 girls were burned TO death.
And a perfect flood OF sympathy has flowed
from the hearts Of girls and women TO the
bereaved families of the victims. while q
feminine rage has protested against the
willful disregard for human life Yet
here we are deliberately getting ourselves
into skirts that make It impossible for US
TO run fast enough to get away from an
automobile. jump high enough TO escape a
stumbling block, or get on a street car
without risk OF being jerked down and
mutilated by q feature to calcuiate our
skirt allowance.
We grow eloquent about the criminal
cruelty of not arranging adequate escapes
from danger OF fire; and then, we carefully
get ourselves into skirts that have no
safety devices attached
Aren't We funny, though? One thing,
though-we are as mean TO ourselves as
We are to others. We DO not endangsr the
lives of fellow travellers with our hatpins
without inflicting upon ourselves some
form OF torture. We run our risk OF the
death we deal by curtailing our pedal
ability to get away from harm.
Indeed, we abuse ourselves just as we do
terrcrs and unkindly go scot free our
selves. We may be queer, but we GER
tainly are fart
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26
Gentle Cynicisms

The gilded youth feels that he is on his
mettle If he is tashion-plated.
The honest taxpayer supports lots Of
people who are not in the almshouse.
Never invite a person to dine with you
who is mean enough to steal your cook.
Love may be blind, but its oIfactory or
gans are all right when it comes TO sniff
fling orange blossoms
If man calls you a fool. call him another
that is if you want TO hear something
worse about yourself.
When women whisper scandal and say a
little bird told them, it's a safe bet that the
little bird was a Tyre.
A married woman might be referred TO
as a peach, but she has TO be divorced be-
fore she becomes a peach o. Reno.
Some men are not satisfied 10 be the
architects Of their own fortunes unless they
are constantly adding extensions.
At any rate the husband Of the suf-
fragette can't taunt her with not getting
The votes his mother used TO get.
The bore is not necessarily a person OF
deep penetration.
There are some men so constituted that
they can get used 20 anything except being
married.
| II man doesn't want his wife to be late
! he shouldn't hurry her.
Some people are not satisfied 10 give the
devil his due. They want 10 pay him over
time.
Distance lends snchantment 10 the view
unless you are lazy and have 10 walk there
When q woman learns 70 sharpen a penal
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26

Automatic shops for the poor districts
are advocated by Thomas A. Edison, not
only as a philanthropic measure but also
as q business proposition. The great in
ventor CLAIMS that the pooro people are
greatly overtaxed because of the neces-
sity Of buying in small quaxitEties. This
would be the means of eliminating the
ward charity to a great extent and would
pay a profit to the projectors of per
cent or more In an interview in the 7Phila-
delphia Inquirer Mr. Edison says:
with the purchasing power these stores
would have they could buy everything at
wholesale Then let them dispense only
the necessar1es, put UP in penny and scent
lots. We already know what can be done
with automatic vending machines, and
these could be adapted TO the sale Of pack
ages Of tea coffe. beans peaE, flour, sugar
and all other staple foods, as well as fuel.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26

she feels that she is equipped to conquer
worlds
Pleasure always knocks louder than OPP
portunity.
There is no virtue in being good bseAnas
you have 20 be-
Some women are almost as impervious
to flattery as T. r. is to having his pictures
taken.
Those who make their money go long
way experience some difficulty in letting
It so at all
il pains girl terribly after she is mar
ried 10 discover that her husband really
prefers corned beef and cabbage 10 those
delightful little chatting dish things-Phils-
delphia Ledger.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26
The Woman With Nerves

Many women confuse the words ''ner-
vous" and ''tsmpsrEmental," and try to
affect the one by praOtioing the other
There seems 70 be an accepted idea that
temperament lie attractive. and 90 II is 10
a degree, when II is real though there is
a doubt whether II is ever as pleasing
as the sentences and poise that go with
an even disposition But the rasping ner-
vousness born Of affeetatiOn. and which
rapidly becomes Ireality. Is enough 10 dim
the beauty OF Venus de Nno. Eventually
Il means peevishness illness and the com
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26

actly two persons-them.
The explanation Of the matter is that
the earth has one Of those rubber cork
centers at this time Of the year. II makes
the sphere light giddy and lively. The
little hills leap for joy-even James J.
withholds his prophecies Of gloom, while
David Jayne finds this land much nicer
than Germany
Yep spring is the home stretch and the
workshop stretch and the all day stretch.
Even when the girls In the hobble skirts
climb aboard the open cars there's the in
clination to rubber"
And the poets" reminded the Chair
Warmer. Don't forget the poets are poet
ing"
Yes. the poets and Alfred Austin, ''
agreed the Hotel Lobbyist
Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y,-Hsrsld Coz
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26
; @Jhe Bee8 home oMa8aztpe page x
Lay of the Hotel Lobbyist

--EsrsnE - Errfiug ztn TIE hurne Stretch.
ShE- rnEEEz1sd In Chair Wsrzosr- lzz5ty-
Also the office stretch the factory
Strstch. the class room stretch and street
car stretch Yawned the Hotel Lobbyist
N'To say nothing Of the hotel corridor
titretch. Why, anybody should believe that
f,tretching IL confined to the home in spring
time I don't know. There IL something In
the air at this time Of the year that makes
any landscape we look at one vast illimit
able stretch
The world Is open faced. You ever
notice an inclination TO stretch on the part
Of tree limbs The woods put on new
line Of scenery especially painted for this
production. The little birds pipe their
lays and the plumbers lay their pipes.
Base ball fans get rrsin checks and poets
don't get any kind
We all were going to start in exercising
this spring and we are keeping our word,
aren't we? Isn't II grand exercise to lean
back in 3 chair and stretch the arms above
ones head and sigh1
II trow Il IL. The habit Of stretching,
holding the arms up IN the air is so strong
at this time that we can't even induce the
Mexicans 10 put down their arms. But the
asvar scare is getting awfully languid as
the sultry season approaches. We're too
much interested in the Increased heavy
batting OF the big leagues the photographs
Of the styles Of bathing suits which will
1inot be permitted on the beaches this sum
mer the exciting plots of the summer roof
shows and the fascinating sport OF reading
the railroad folders to pick the various
places TO spend our vacations but never
reach. 4a.s.r-
Some Of US just fan asleep naturally and
others read the supreme court decision.
The young engaged people or those who
are easily induced into that comatose con-
dltion think the world is populated by ex-
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26

on the sticlup In which you
were the party OF the second
part, they'll go out and patrol
the region, and. II the gun
man comes back that way
he'll be up against it II the
vigilantes get him.
At the. regular weekly ses-
sion Of the executive council
of the viR1lantes. the affair
will be presented along with
other similar cases, and the
proper reference TO committee
Will be made, and AZ the next
regular meeting the committee
Will make its report, and for
NAL action will be taken.
''Of course, as soon as the
holdup man finds out he Is
being indeIed and card csta-
logued by the vigilAntes, he'll
Be mighty careful about how
he operates.
Then. there's the alter,
native plan OF notifying the
fire department After you've
been ransacked by the festive
footpRd, all you've got 10 do
Is 20 hike 70 the nearest fire
barn. arouse the foreman and
give him the sad, sweet story
of the last few minutes Of
your life He'll give over at
once the business Of fighting
fires, and start his men out on
horseback 10 ride around the
block and see II the holdup
man is waiting TO be caught.
OF course, II might be aWk-
ward II a IRE should by any
mischance break out while the
firemen are pursuing one an.
other around the townsite
looking for footpads, but
that's a detail 10 be worked
out.
Then the parson had a good
idea It's the shotgun in your
own home, II you are stuck
up, or your neighbor is. lust
jump 20 the shack, grab the
scattergun from its place in
the closet, put II together.
. being careful TO see that II is
well oiled and in good condi-
ton. Then scurry hack 10
where II happened, and II tho
stickup 10 sun sticking around
you can get him. About ten
feet rise is proper on these
fellows, and II isn't consid-
cred unsportsmanhke TO shoot
EN- on the ground.
The vigilante idea sure
does look good 70 me. ans
way you take II. What viii
the footpad be doing after he's
cleaned out hts victim Wen
II he's anything like the foot
pads who got me, he'll he
making his Eit-away, but
that's also a detail"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26

"SpeAkin' about vigilantes.
said Short-Card Ike, u surely
do admire the term. II has
been q favorite expression of
mine for-WeA, ] hate 10 own
up, but you'll remember that
/ wasn't 80 dprn far away
in those days when X. Bied-
Ter and his friends were doing
the finest piece OF vigilante
work that was ever pulled off
in this country. Also, ! know
Just what 7-7-7 meant TO the
that was some. too,
$50, as / was sayin', I'm
strong for this here vigilRnte
move. II goes double with me.
Here's the system:
You're walking home at
night, say along about $3.50,
or Whereabouts. Just about
the most lonesome spot on the
trail some gent sticks a six
gun into your face, and while
you tremble with your hands
UP and your nose itchin'-say,
did you ever notice how your
nose always itches when It's
got q gun sticking about an
inch away from its end? Mine
always does. Well, this man,
as ] say, sticks his six-gun
into your face, and goes
through your pockets, and
then he ducks, and you get
your breath back and tear for
somewhere. you don't know
where, but you tear for some
where. Bymeby your wits be-
gin to work again, and you
holler for help and police and
the customary things, and
then you git 10 a telephone
and tell the police all about
IT,. and they send out q call
10 all the coppers on the beat,
and the newspapers get the
story the next day, and maybe
the holdup man laughs when
he reads Il and thinks about
how you acted. At any rate,
it's a little better than 10 10 j
he S ever caught.
NOW, all this IL going 10 be
changed Instead OF running
and hOllering police. what
you'll DO Is 10 so quietly along
10 the first drug store and
call up the chief viEilAnte on
phone You tell him your
story, and he'll decide in
whose district the outrage oc-
CURED. Then he'll get con
nection with the high card In
that precinct. and give him
the tip, and he'll call out his
forces. IL may be thai the top
card in that precinct iE down
town a. a lodge meeting, or
the theater or something OF
that sort, but wherever he is.
as soon as he gets word, he n
call his trusty band together,
and they'll go into solemn ses-
sion over H.
You'll tell them all about
a., just where IL happened.
and how IL felt and every
little detail. and finally,
when they've got all the dope
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26

of 80 years. so Maffeus, a Portuguese
author. has declared.
The Newport Mercury (which was
founded by Benjamin Franklin's brother
James, Of April "a, 1885, contained a no.
tice Of the death Of Daniel Cullen, who
had attained the age Of lbs years.
Jeanne Fitzgerald, countess OF Desmond,
passed away when she was IA At the
age Of lao she Travelled from her home IN
ireland TO London to urge some claim
against the government Sir Walter RIA
leigh once said Il myself knew her"
Lord Bacon mentions that she had thrice
renewed her teeth
New York Daily Advertiser OF November
:. 1883, records the demise OF the Rev.
Thomas Sampson, aged ia years
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26

plste loss of any natural beauty that may
have preceded f.
There are women who take certain
foolish pride in being so nervous" They
talk Of the continually. and when the
slightest opportunity presents they put II
into effect. They develop Mysteries upon
the slightest provocation, and when an
unpleasant duty lies in their path they
have "a dreadful nervous headache" As
result they are avoided by the women Of
their acquaintance. while the men. who
have little patience with women's nerves
are sure to dub them silly and shallow
What il more important they mar their
features, and this should be enough to
cure any case Of imaginary nerves, Re
garding this fact, q noted teacher OF
beauty culture, who is herself marvel
ously lovely. says:
For your compleKion's sake. keep your
nerves under control Nervousness is one
Of the chief causes of roughness of skin
and OF pimples. Women with real ner-
Vcus affections have learned this go their
sorrow. Nervousness causes fine lines 20
be drawn around the ewes. which take
on ea staring appearance while the figure
appears ngid and the voice harsh ana
strained.
no not credit nervousness 20 overwork.
II you sift the case carefully you win find
II 10 worry, not work. that Is breaking
down the system Continued worry is the
foster mother OF age and nglinsss II not
only harms a woman'E beauty. but h les
sens her chances Of success ~ burning up
energy and brain force. There Is net a
case on record where worTy brought any
definitely good results.
The woman who is the complete mas
Ter Of her nerves ~ doing more % make
herself attractive than could the greatest
beauty doctor in the world"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26
Long-Lived Persons

Marry Ellis. aged us years, died in New
York in July, 1894.
a muatto slave died in Fredericktown,
Va in August, 1877. aged $50 years.
Llywarch Hen, poet and contemporary
OF ancient King Arthur. is said TO have
lived to the age of $50 years.
William Billings died in England in 1871
81 the age Of III years. He was the last
A. queen Anne's officers.
= Numas de Cugna, native Of Bengal,
/ died in the year 1866 at the incredible age
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1911-05-26
Others.

IL will be well to keep in
mind that Omaha Is not the
only place in the world where
footpRds and burglarious per
sons operate. II seems that
Omaha is the only place
where certain persons seek TO
ride into public notice by
Dragging Of the petty crimes
against property.