The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1911-08-17
ALL WENT WELL
TILL HATTIE CAME
(By John \. AIorosO.)


Miss Hester Collins, waving back a
short mass of crinkly hair, explained
the matter to Justice Crutchheld this
morning.
Fitzhugh White Dabney was the
cause Of it all, she said. She pointed
out Mr.. Dabney with a long, bony
yellow finger.
Oar he" she exclaimed accusing
What did the monster do?" de-
he was a-courtin' Of me-" ex-
planned the damsel.
This isn't the counting season"
suggested Crutchfeld. THE spring
the turtle is no longer heard in the
land. All the birds of the air have
loved and raised their hedglings. It's
too hot for courtin', believe me-"
Marsh; not with Mistuh Dabney."
protested Hester. He puts on his
he calls on me and hoTs muh han"
He's working overtime, 1 reckon"
Quoth Crutchfield.
He was a holdin' of muh ham"
Gilman canned in. Oar che"
She pointed that same long yellow
finger at Hattie.
What did Hattie do?" asked the
Supreme Court Justice OF Jackson
Ward.
breathed Hester TREMENDOUSLY.
Then what?" asked the Judge.
she says 10 me. she says. Dis mig
guh is my nigguh. 1 feeds him and
buys his pants 70 him and pays his
fines 70 crap shootin' Use a cook
food what's gOin'. You is tryin' to
steal dat nigguh fom me. yo' is. But
yo' can't do it,
Then the Infatuated cullud lady
pulled the trigger" inquired Crutch-
field.
she sho did" replied Hester. 1T
sounded like a cannon. Mistuh Crutch-
field. 1t were Il turrible explosion.
Mistuh Dabney leggo muh han and
leaped out de window. Miss Gilman
KEEP on shootin' at him until he was
bout half way cross de bridge 10 Man
chester. goin' fifty miles an hour"
Just then slab of licorice detach-
ed itself from the mass of witnesses
and approached the judgment seat of
John letter.
Use Missus Dabney." she said.
90. the miscreant has wife, the
judge offered.
"Yassir. I'm it. My fust name is
Muriel."
Fancy name that" suggested His
Honor. 1t almost rhymes with mule.
I know some poets visiting these parts
that could pitch in and try TO make
Muriel and mule rhyme
Il told 'em So" said Mrs. Dabney,
who had followed the cursory re-
marks of His Honor with Indifference.
"Yassir. ] toll EN- 1 would have to
get divorce like MiSSus Astuh."
My word, Muriel." the judge said,
this is the Newport season and you
really ought not to be lingering here
in this warm cline"
Marsh" said Muriel. Il toll EN-
dat, too. but when Miss Gilman be-
gan shOttin' of the gun l didn' have
much time 70 explanations, an so l
clumb unduh de bald"
Under whose bed?" sternly de-
manded CrutChfield.
Miss Collins bald" replied the
witness.
Crutchfield. patting hfs noble brow
with a cambria handkerchief, turned
to Edgar White, his clerk Of many
years.
Edgar" he said. ''an this happen
ed in the chamber of Miss Gilman.
Give Mrs. Dabney a Crutchheld di-
Vorce and Hne Miss Gilman IS for
missing the hind legs OF Mr.. Dabney
as he went through the window"
What about Mr.. Dabney?' asked
Edgar. Don't you slip him any
I thing?"
We'll, he might have been tempt
| ed" unused Crutchfield. All flesh is
grass But you might soak him 1.-Two
also"
Then the recently divorced Mrs
Dabney dug down in her green sock
and drew out the fine for her gay eX-
husband.