davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
GLOBE SIGHTS.
LFrom the Atchison Globe


If you must tell lie, say business is
good when it isn't.
1t is our observation that most of the
garden hose leaks.
After a drought, there is a certain
satisfaction in being caught out in the
rain.
Now and then men ask for the truth,
and won't stay long enough to hear it.
What has become of the old-fashion-
ed man who called a dance a ''shin-
dig?''
A man isn't as henpecked as possible
until his wife begins to pick out his
clothes.
No one who does not play the
game, and very few who do. can spell
"schaafskopf."
We are in favor of the short ballot if
it will result in getting Abe returns any
earlier.
Not shooting at tradition any. there
are number of horses that kick worse
than mules.
If man CANDLES and loses, he
doesn't fool anyone when he says he
only plays for pastime-
If you are energetic enough to make
money by trickery you can make more
by honest effort.
Girls are very seldom satisfied with
the names their parents gave them, but
boys don't fuss about such trifles.
While an incubator chicken crows as
much as the hen-hatched variety, it
probably isn't boasting of its ancestry.
If it is worth 81 to be cured it's worth
many times that amount to keep we'll
Look after your habits and diet.
There is so much disloyalty that 2
man can attract favorable attention
these days by simply sticking up for
his own town.
Governors seem to have too much
pardoning power, and the plain peo-
pie who pass sentence on the average
citizen, too little.
You needn't conquer anything more
ferocious than meal ticket to be q
conquering hero in the eyes of the wo-
man who loves you.
Sometimes married woman will say.
in the meanest way, in speaking of a
| woman who has never married: She
is just as well off. -
When a college boy says he needs
| rest during the summer vacation. it
| isn't nice to repeat what his father
| thinks about the situation
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
.AYHAWKER JOTS

Uncle ST of the Ottawa Republic
thinks that when a woman presents
fine figure it's more'n likely it cost
one
The Beloit Gazette thinks that Stan
ton county is to be congratulated be-
cause there isn't lawyer within It's
confines.
After a careful study of the Easter
gowns, the Atchison Champion is OF
the opinion that they seem less fitted
than ever for a woman to wear while
| cooking a Sunday dinner.
Noted by the Jewell County Repub-
lican: THE CORTLAND Register has
been sued for libel by H. N. Boyd,
editor of the Belleville Democrat. We
have never known one editor to win
suit against another editor for libel.
The jury always regard it as case of
dog eat dog"
There is one feature common to
newspapers and to railroads, says the
Hutchinson News. Everybody who has
nothing to do with them knows how
their management could be improved.
Many a man speaks of his wife as
his better half says the Nickerson Ar
COSY, when he knows full well that
she is the whole thing.
One of Potter's young men who is
visiting the Pacific coast and big cities
for the first time wrote to the Potter
kanSan from Los Angeles as follows:
Il haven't gone to work yet. I am
having too good a time to go to work.
Leo is learning the barber trade. He
goes to the Mohler College. This is
certainly a classy city. I have more
fun here in an hour than I had in
Potter in month. L went out to a
park the other day that has $50 acres.
Some park, amt it? also went up on
mountain about one thousand feet.
could see all over the country. There
is a pigeon farm right close. 1t has
one hundred thousand pigeons in it
and it takes a ton of wheat a day to
feed them. Some pigeons, amt it?
take in a show every night. There
are 81 moving picture shows here.
went into museum the other day. I
saw the largest woman in the world.
She weighs Gil pounds. Some woman,
amt it? I saw sheep with six legs
and a snake that weighed 500 pounds
and is 200 years old. 1t eats As
pound pig at a meal and eats only
twice a year 1 would hate to be that
snake, wouldn't you? I saw a man, a
half of whose body is stone and also
a man with eight hundred tatoos on
his body, and every one of them marks
some place or thing. You can see ev-
erything out here. I saw Tom Pot
ter's relative the other night. He is
motorman. I am thinking about
learning the automobile trade. They
pay big money out here"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Trying to please everybody is at
tempting the impossible.
4 =
Knowing when it is time to quit is
one of the heights of wisdom.
= Z
More evidence of their originality:
No two women do up their hair in ex-
actly the same way.
There may be people who never
worry but you don't meet up with
them very often.
When a woman marries for money
she is considered wonderfully clever.
when a man does the same thing he
is looked on as being utterly worthless
and without principle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

IFrom the Chicago News.1
Fly time is the season for aeroplan-
ing.
Some people will take any old thing
except hint.
He who lives upon hope win probably
die from starvation.
man must learn to hold his tongue
II he would hold his own.
No man is happier than when he is
acting as his own press agent.
A woman of beauty is joy forever
II she keeps her face closed.
Some people would like to live in
clover-but not the hay fever victim.
One girl ia always saying about an
other; She's just crazy to get mar
ried.' 90
A married woman wastes q. lot Of
time trying to pry her husband loose
from his coin.
Occasionally an old bachelor thinks
of marrying-which may possibly ex-
plain why he doesn't.
A woman can derive thirfv-saven
times as much pleasure from shonnin9
as ner husband can from buying.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

| All To-
These words of the gifted Paul to the
Romans present an admonition that all
men should delight to heed. They
suggest the creation of a condition of
affairs among folk that would approach
! the IDEAL when petty chickering's and
wranglings over the most trivial sort
of things to violent quarrels about
more serious matters would be of the
past; when all people would dwell in
harmony and tranquility one with the
other.
1t Will probably be the opinion OF
many that such a condition of affairs
will never prevail on this earth until
that chimerical period, styled the mil
lennium, arrives. Perhaps this is true.
The ideal in anything is mighty diff
cult of realization. And few things
could be more difficult than the bring
ing about of a universal reign of per-
sonal peace among the members of the
human family. Even Paul, to whom
nothing, almost, seemed impossible,
and from whom few secrets were hid,
appreciated this fact. He was particu-
lar to say in his urging of people to
live at peace with each other that they
w So II II De QOSSIDl6.
Occasions arise once in a while where
it does not seem possible that quar-
rels of greater and less import can be
avoided. A man would certainly lose
his own self-esteem-and certainly
the respect of his friends and &C
quaintances-if he failed at times to
stand UP for himself with his tongue
| or his fists. But the times in the
average mans life when 1t is neces-
sary for him to fight in defense of his
name or his honor. or in the defense
| of the name and the honor of those
who are dear to him, are really few
and far between. 1t would seem that
the picking of quarrels between per-
sons of education and intelligence
could be avoided. And 1t certainly is
possible for men and women to avoid
! association with persons of quarrel
some dispositions. The latter should
be particularly easy, for such indi-
viduals almost wear the badge of this
failing on their faces. Above all,
though, the best way to avert disputes
and quarrels is to so conduct yourself
that you will not be likely to have ex-
ceptions taken to your varied atti-
tudes. Be careful not to offend in any
way the men and women with whom
you come into contact. They, in turn,
will be more than apt to treat you in
this respect as you treat them.
AS 1T should be with all persons in
this particular, so should it be among
nations. There is plenty of room on
the surface of the earth for all peoples
and all nations to develop themselves
to the highest possible standards and
to acquire as much of the worlds
goods as is sufficient for their wants,
without encroaching on the rights of
others. And the energies of kings,
potentates and plebeians, of emperors
and peasants. of presidents and free
peoples, cannot be better expended
than in efforts to live at peace with
each other. The victories of peace are
no less renowned than those of war.
They are far more satisfactory, too.
And this is just as true of individuals
in their private life, as it is of empires,
kingdoms and republics in their
worldwide spheres.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
HUAOR or TIE DAY

New Reporter-The auto turned terra
pin and City Editor-You mean turned
turtle New Reporter-Well, it was a
hfgh-prtced machine.-Judge
sportsman (having emptied both barrels
at a rabbit)-There, Jacob. I'm sure 7 hit
one Jacob-Well e zurtainIy did zeem
TO go faaster after you shot at i'm, zur!-
Punch.
was that interview published as COM
ing Directly from You authentic?" It
haven't decided yet" replied Senator
Sorghum Il am waiting to see what
erect II has on my constituents
Washington Star.
Sure Sign--'T'm afraid Maud's second
marriage Is failure" did she saw sop
mo, but she's beginning to speak we'll of
her frst husband. Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
LFrom the New York Press.1

IFrom the New York Press.1
A resolution we can keep is not to
make any.
When anybody has a sweet DISPOSE
ton it's sign he's sure to be imposed
upon.
A great trick is to be able to kiss
relatives with money just as if you
didn't mind.
If woman could let her friends see
her new clothes over the telephone
she'd have a lovely time calling them
all up.
When man gets to the age where he
has to take nap every day after din
ner he begins to tell all around how
young and spry he feels.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
FROM OTHER PENS
PASSING OF THE CHESTNUT.

The country confronts not only an
economic loss in the destruction by
blight of the chestnut tree, but SEN
timentaI loss. Chestnutting was one OF
the rural pastimes, and also a pastime
for urban people who sought the
woods in ~'Iest of the sweet brown nut
that had fallen from or that still peep
ed out of the opening of the burr. This
pleasure in the frosty, crinkling woods
is, it is feared soon to be no more.
One by one the features of country
life are changing. Even the cherry
trees-the big red hearts and the
luscious black hearts-are passing
away. Then there were the dewberry,
the blackberry and the huckleberry
festivals. and later, when frost began
to nip things there were the fox
grapes, chinquopins, the chestnutS and
the black walnuts to gather and husk
Children would carry for months on
their hands the brown stain of the
walnut.
One can not but feel sorry that the
chestnut trees are dying; in fact, most
of them are already dead. 1t is re-
ported that in New York city parks
every chestnut tree is dead, that over
Long Island chestnut blight is travel
ing fast and that the trees of Connect
icut, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Della
ware, Massachusetts and Maryland are
infected. The scientists have been I'M
|
killing disease, and seem hopeless of
doing so. Its spread since it was first
observed in the New York Botanical
garden five years ago has been amaz-
|ing.-Washington star.
SUPREME COURT DECISIONS.
The long delay of the United States
Supreme Court in deciding the Stand
ard Oil and Tobacco Trust cases nat
urally suggests the question have we a
government? The simple answer to
that question is. we have not. The
to enact, to execute and to apply laws.
The latter duty implies prompt and
speedy action. To establish Justice
is one of the objects of the govern
ment as expressed in the Constitution.
Justice delayed Is injustice; and thus,
while defining the Constitution, is
itself grossly unconstitutional in its
conduct.
But there is another aspect of the
case that should be considered. Long
study does not make more certain the
discovery of truth. The longer the
study the more doubts come into play
and the more uncertain and fragile the
doubts become. A man may find
doubts for an axiom if he is quite dill
gent in the search We don't wonder
that the Supreme Court in starting
upon their speculations, should keeI
them up indefinitely. IF they contin-
ued them for year they would still
be uncertain about deciding It is inn
possible for human reason to be sure
| of the ultimate truth--Ohto State
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Occasionally a woman comes for
ward with a reasonable excuse for di-
vorce. In this light would seem to be
a lady of Hammond, Ind, who wants
her marital knot cut because her hus-
band insists on eating green onions
and lirnburger cheese.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

more efficient in all of their particulars
than are those in this country.
And Kansas shows her progressive
ness by being one of the pioneers in
this country in building up it's public
service in this fashion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

When it comes to redeeming cam
paign pledges the representatives of
all parties seem to paddle along in the
same canoe. In Kansas the Repuhli-
cans failed in many instances during
the last session of the legislature to
make good their promises to the peo-
pie. In Colorado the Democrats have
done the same thing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

of CharIemagne Tower. This will be
sure to strike some of the feeble
minded patriots in this country as an
effort on the part of Japan to insult
the United States for the purpose of
provoking a war.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Congressman Berger. the Socialist,
now seeks to abolish the United States
senate. 1t does seem to be an annoy
ing appendage to the process of gov
eminent, but things will be different
with the senate when its members are
elected by the direct vote of the peo-
pie of the several states.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

A st. Louis doctor asserts that
horses can suffer from neurasthenia.
But the New York Evening Post in
sists as long as they cannot paint pic
lures. compose operas, and use fire.
arms II does not really matter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Another terrible slap on the wrist
for DR.. Cook: Mr.. Peary is going to
grace with his presence the wedding
of the man who took a trip to Mt. Nc
Kinley to prove that DIR. Cook did not
climb it. Isn't that rubbing it in?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Experts insist that it is possible to
keep flies away from anything or any
locality by covering its surroundings
with blue paint. But this remedy
would be worse than the evil as far
as baldheaded men are concerned.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
Hoch Der O'shaughnessv.

Elm O'Shaughnessy. 31A years old,
who speaks only German, arrived on
the Prinz Friedrich Wilhelm, accom-
panied by his father and mother, Mr..
and Mrs. Nelson O'Shaughnessy.
Films dad was secretary of the Amer
lean legation in Vienna, but has been
transferred to Mexico.
The small son, who was born in
day he may get acquainted with his
mother tongue.-New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

In fixing up his rogues' gallery of
bank robbers. Bank Commissioner
Dolley need not confine his activities
to gathering pictures of notorious
yeggmen. Photos of some of the
erstwhile bankers of Kansas are en-
titled to prominent places in the COL
faction
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

As the fly season approaches time
should be taken by the forelock in
Kansas, and the flies should be swat
ted with vigor. 1t is barely possible
that the next fish and game law to be
passed by a Kansas legislature will
protect them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Less than two per cent of the young
women attending the University of
Chicago are planning to marry. 1t is
probable, though, that a large proper
ton of the remaining 80 per cent will
jump at such chances of matrimony
that may come their way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

How long will Diaz remain in Of
fee? 1t is said that this is the para
mount question that Mexican peace
commissioners will have to settle. But
a few months ago and every one would
have answered this question:: Until he
dies
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Surely the ways of the present house
of representatives are well creased.
The reapportionment bill, which in
creases the membership of the house.
was passed in quite as rapid fashion as
have been several other most impor-
tant pieces of legislation. The Demo-
cratic majority in the house has solved
the problem of how to legislate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

People who delight to mingle with
fish bones may get some satisfaction
out of the fact that shad are more
plentiful than they have been in years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Experts now declare that the Kan
sas wheat crop for this season, which
has been KILLED" five or six times, will
produce a yield of 100000 bushels.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Apparently the United States Naval
academy at Annapolis has ceased in
it's former efforts to turn out gentle
men as we'll as naval officers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Cause and effect: A California man
who lived on diet of milk for eight
years has gone insane.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

cities, just like the people who make
them up, often go to extremes. Mon
clair, N. J., has refused to permit any
kind of a display of moving pictures
within its confines.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

The Stockton Review is booming
Dodd CASTOR for state senator from
Shawnee county, and, although this
department has no crouch at Dodd, it
will gladly subscribe to any movement
tending to bury rival in the political
sands.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Japan has purchased for an en-
bassy at Berlin the magnificent house
that was used as the United States
onabaazv during the Enthusiastically
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Many an old maid is in high fettle
these days at Washington, d. G. The
mothers congress is in session there.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

The New York Y. NJ. C. A. ball team
will give free exhibitions. And as they
frequently remark in Battle Creek
There is a rational grounds mo-
tive"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

The highly conservative Associated
Press suspects that Al Vanderbilt may
/ yet win the hand of Mrs. Smith Hol-
| lis McKim. The highly GENEROUS
Hearst service opines, after locating
the lady at APPS bachelor quarters in
Paris, that AL has already beaten any
thing the A. p. had mapped out for
him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

The state has just succeeded in col
lecting charter. fees from the Cudahys
1t appears that Pat Grove started and
popularized a form of light exercise,
known as '"Take-it-away-f rom-the-
Cudahy's," which will never lose its
vogue.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
Congressman vic Der

Congressman Vic Berger, of Beer
waukee, Beersconsin, has introduced
a bill to abolish the u. S. Senate. Vic
should play a little farther back from
the footlights; the dog-house player
in the orchestra might accidentally
stab him with the bow. or he might,
during a moment of alteration, step
through the lid of the Di-annah.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Even Tammany Hall gets stung oc-
casionally. 1t lost $11,630 in the fail
L of the Carnegie Trust company.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

In other words of one or more syl-
ables, the above mentioned baseball
team desires some slight imitation of
an attendance at its games.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Puzzling proposition propounded for
today's perusaI: Why is a zebroid ?
Isn't a plain mule bad enough?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

The State Journal Is a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report OF that great news or
ganizafion for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news Is received In The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Russia is complaining that hoboes
are a pest in that country. And, come
to think of it, is 1t not barely possible
that Russia is correct in it's first
guess? Just think of a hoboskovich
stopping at the backdoorski and ask
ing for a handoutskikoff in Russian?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
HUMBLE APOLOGY.

7 HU MBI4E APOIlOdI
There ought to be some sort OF rhyme
| Somewhere in this collection,
But We are rather short On time
| So pardon this detection
From beaten paths; for helstopay,-
Our Muse is on a strike today.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29
A Suburban. sERMoN.

If 1t be possible, as much as Heth in
you. live peaceably with all men. Romans
XII IS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

Synonym for "Luxuriant Growth -
The dandelfon crop in the state house
yard.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

1t appears that the Reform school
boys are to be given holiday and
that said holiday will be spent in har-
vesttng the aforementioned state
crop. If such is the case, the boys
may be glad that they are not con-
fined in Italy, where there are 81 va
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

A New York preacher enlisted the
aid of the police department to pro-
tect his whiskers from a mob We
hold this as an indication that a New
York mob is highly unreasonable; it is
our contention that a preacher should
not only be allowed, but compelled, to
wear chest-warmers, SO that his fell
low citizens may get his number and
duck when he approaches
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-04-29

The New York reporter-(please
observe that our paragraphs are geo.
graphically conn ected)-who wrote
the story about the girl who came
down the ladder, and the crowd which
collected only to discover that she
wore hobble skirt, missed a good
chance. While he was telling it, why
didn't he say she wore some of those
'jupe" things? 1t would have been a
better story, and no bigger yarn
H G. p