The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1911-03-02
WIT OF The indian
The Dignified Red Man Has a
Keen Sense of Humor.
STORIES OF STANDING BEAR.

the race the Old Chief Was willing
to Run Against a Government At
to-ney-A Gallant Brave and His
! Mirror-An Invisible Bridge.
The impression prevails widely that
the Indian lacks the saving sense Of
humor-"that most characteristic of
all American qualities" To the eve
ating and the spreading Of this I'M
preston many recognizable traits of
Indian character have indisputably
contributed-his ancestral pride, his
eXclusiveness, his gravity of face and
dignity of manner in public.
Nevertheless an injustice is done
him, for among no primitive peoples
is the sense Of humor keener or more
spontaneous and kindly
Years ago / was Conversing with
group of children Of the Omaha tribe.
They were on their way to reserva-
ton school, and directly in their path
lay a swamp an eighth Of a mile
wide, and straight through this they
were required to wade twice a day.
'It is too bad" I remarked Can
you not go around the swamp? Your
feet will be wet, and you will be un.
comfortable and possibly ILL.,"
"Oh,' cried girl of about twelve
years, her dark eyes dancing with
merriment, I'VE walk over the $1,000
bridge"
They all laughed at this. What
could it mean? l saw no bridge; there
was no bridge to be seen 1t made
them merry to see me mystified. and
heard them laughing and chatting
as they went through the water and
mud. Afterward | discovered the hui
NOR in the remark. Some years pre-
V1ous to that time the government had
appropriated $1,000 to build bridge
over this swamp, but somehow the
money had vanished into somebody's
pocket and the work was not done.
One evening l saw a gallant young
brave making his way swiftly over
the prairies of the Omaha reserve.
He was dressed in all his tinery, and
at his side dangled a small mirror
| Manifestly he was an ardent lover
This l should have surmised from his
dress and eager haste, even If l had
not known him. AS he was q friend
of mine. | had inside information of
his hopes and purposes; also | ven
| tured to stop him for a moment, pre-
ctous as knew him time to be.
THAT mirror at your side" / re-
marked, 'is to give opportunity for
Prairie Flower to discover how lovely
she is, is it not?" He considered a
moment, and then, with twinkling
eye, he replied
mo. Maybe so she will talk too
much to me, and then l will look into
my mirror to see how tired | am"
This certainly was the humor of alb
surdity.
Examples of Standing Bears humor
| could give almost without number.
During the trial of his case before
Judge Dundy the contention of the |
government attorney was that an In.
dian is not a person within the mean
ing of the law. This puzzled the old |
chief greatly. 1t also amused him.
One day at my table he was vigor-
ously plying a knife and fork when
suddenly he paused In his eating, lift
ed up his hands, and q humorous
smile lighting up his noble storm
GnQFral fona bn ov1yn
neys say l am not a person. But l
can use knife and fork. Does bear
do thatf If he, the attorney, is per-
son l am one also. We both eat with
knives and forks. Indeed, think |
can use them faster than he can. If
he wants to race me eating | am
ready We all laughed at this. When
we were quiet Standing Bear added,
THAT Is, / will run an eating race
with the attorney If he will pay for
the beefsteak"
The first public address Standing
Bear ever made was given In my
church. In the course Of It while he
was pleading for assistance he address
ed various classes of people present
the men, the women, the clergy, the
business men, the children. When he
was pleading with the women be said:
Il appeal to you because you are brave
and patient Whenever you have any,
thing hard to do you never rest until
1t Is done" This was gallant senti-
ment worthy of chief. But Frank
La Flesche, who was interpreting, ren.
dered the sentence thus: you women
are patient. When there Ia anything
hard to be done we men let you do It,"
This was so true to Indian custom
that the audience laughed
Standing Bear was puzzled. As he
stood silent a moment wondering what
mistake he had made Bright Eyes, the
beautiful Omaha maiden, stepped for
ward anl said, "My brother Frank
has made a mistake in interpreting the
chiefs thought" Then she gave the
proper rendering
The Chicago papers took liberties
with Standing Bears name, one Of
them referring to him constantly as
Upright Bruin. When this was ex-
planned to the chief he took the matter 1
with great good nature. I
What does it matter?" he remarked,
his face beaming. Il am all tied up |
with names. l am like pony tangled
In his lariat. Father Hamilton, the I
Presbyterian, calls me elder. The
Episcopalian clergyman calls me ward.
en-. For I am an officer in the little
church In our village, where both these
good men preach. And now the papers I
all me-what is it? Yes, Bruin. No
matter. The Judge In Omaha says {
I'M q person, and that satisfies me.n-