davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1911-10-01

Alexander the Crate was sum fiter,
awl rite. He lived so lawng ago awl
his reIashuns is ded. evin. but 1 bet
il he was alive now and gave Jack
johnson jest wun krack in the noze.
Jack Johnson wood say, Mistir wife
Man, you are champeen. AleXandlr
the Crate was the erigintl wife hope
Evin wen he was a kid AleXandlr
the Crate Good lick any kids avn
the-block with wun hand behind his
back and wun eye shut. witch was
going sum, avn akkount of the
Greak blocks being mulch bigger
than wat our blocks is.
That Alexander boy is going to be
a crate genril sum day, evryboddy
sed, fteing the way he does.
Korrect
WITCH was jest wat Alexander the
Crate groo up to be. He was krazy
about fiteing, awl the time wunting
to be Ieeding his soljers into dinrunt
kuntries and blowing the peepil into
noware Jest for the fun.
That's the kind of a man Alex
andir the Crate was. He wasent
nevir happy unless he was fteing,
and II umboddy was to go up to
him Jest to say, Good moarning, gen.
Fril, or sumthing, Alexander the Crate
was lible to give him sutch a krack
in the jaw he wood see stars for 3
weaks, Jest for the plezure of soak
ing sumboddy.
Alexander the Crate dident kare
The Washington times., 1911-10-01

musical comedy. 1 can do it. 1 never
have, but oan."
Let's try your voice." said the man.
ager, as he struck a chord on his
Smith & Wesson upright. Sound do"
"A-r-r-r" sounded she
That's dough before it's mixed"
said the manager. Leave me before
the janitor ehutes you down with the
rest of the coal"
"All 1 ask is a chance!" she en-
treated Something tells me Id cause
a sensation"
Also something tells me you
would" said the manager. Have you
gone yet?'
Il won the Rhodes prize this year
for the prettiest ankle in New York"
she called softly through the door.
p. COME BACKr roared the manager.
as he rang for his press agent. I'll
make you leading woman in THE Hug
Waltz We haven't been able to find
a woman in town capable of singing
that roller
The Washington times., 1911-10-01

them for you. Er-how many, please?"
Two" she says. Two twos."
I hiked over to the stamp desk, got
the brace of twos. and skipped back
Was that the end of the drug clerks
romance? Nay, nay Likewise, nix.
Would you mind putting them on
for me?" she chirps, showing me two
letters. Il can't bear the taste of the
gum"
Most assuredly! Tickled to death.
An honor, not to say a privilege"
Then she COOS, tDo you know. I
haven't got penny in changer
"A mere trifle, assure you," says I.
I'm only too happy to pay for them"
And she waltzes out, and my only
regret is that she hadn't asked me to
write the letters for her.
The Washington times., 1911-10-01
she HOLDS IT UP TO
A BROTHERS COMMENTS
Loretta's Looking Glass

to cost to keep her looking like you
want her to. I'd hate to have a wife
that I had to be ashamed of. And It
costs money to buy their buds. I can
tell you. Dams nose hasn't left the
grindstone since he was married,
opine!'
The philosophical brother paused,
and appeared to be fathoms deep in
some abstruse problem. -.
Sometimes I wonder IL he gets his
moneys WORTH! I'm dead sure he
doesn't get what's rightfully coming to
him." '.'
why not?' l demanded with re-
sentful voice. He has a charming
family, a nice home"
Yes, know. But did 1t ever &C.
The Washington times., 1911-10-01
THE STAGE DOORKEEPER

IT see." said the stage struck youth,
as he ducked behind a set rock where
he would be out of sight of the stage
manager, that the girls are trying to
get Doug Fairbanks into the Hobson
class"
Yep" said the stage doorkeeper. as
he returned a muChly worn quill tooth
pick to his vest pocket, they are try
ing to put the Indian sign on Doug,
and, from all that l hear about it, he
refuses to stand for it.
HobSon Started II
''Hohson started it, and if it hadn't
been for the smart newspaper writer's
and cartoonists, every popular idol
would have been properly saluted by
the flower of the nation on every and
all occasions. But after the papers
got through with Hob, he had to go
The Washington times., 1911-10-01

cur to you that the charming family
cultivate their charms for outsiders
more than for the NAM behind the
domestic gun? And the parlor and
library are fixed up SO the girls will
have a nice place to receive their
guests in Mothers in on all the
preparations. She got a kind of in
innate interest in things. But old
dads sort of out in the cold Kind
of hangs round on the edge and looks
over the fence! 1 don't think he
knows it; but he looks lonely to me.
The girls are all smiles and atten-
lions to the men who call. They just
take dad for granted, and aren't very
fussy about making themselves a de-
light to his eye. Funny thing how
we're all nicer to the people who
don't belong to US than we are to
the ones on whom we are dependent
for happiness"
A Dozen Red Pillows
The brother took a long breath.
asNif so much moralizing had emp
tied his lung cells. Then, he glanced
at a veranda down the street, where
a dozen red pillows and a bright red
carpet made the steps gay and in
giting. ..F
You'll excuse me, won't you? I've
an engagement-down the street"
shes prepared" said with a
speaking look toward the cushions.
YES" he said, and smiled. But
so am I. / know by my sisters that
she's fixed up for me. Only, you see,
1 can count the. cost, and make
pretty good guess about how much
of the fussing she'll keep up when
when she owns me and gets used to
having me around. Nothing like
knowing what you're getting into
when you're getting married! That's
why 1 pity the fellow who has no
sisters to put him wisey'
The Washington times., 1911-10-01
Our Soda Clerk
Says He's Obliging

She was peach. nay, a peacherino,
and you bet your nut sundae stopped
mixin' EN- for the common thirsty rab-
bic and leaned over the counter to find
out what she wouldst
DO you keep stamps?" she gurgles.
The stamp desk is at the rear Of the
store" l falls over myself to tell her,
but I'll be more than delighted to get
The Washington times., 1911-10-01

- FEEL sorry for the fellow who
hasn't sisters Of his own" the
brother burst out after he had
1hown a connoisseur's interest in the
departure of a sisterless young man
with one of his own girl relations.
That's nice, sweet brotherly
sentiment, which does you credit
l observed, like the moral on a china
eup-"for a good boy"
The girls don't see 1t that way
lie said.
What way?" 1 asked, a bit at a
loss.
las "a nice, sweet sentiment!
guess they think there's no mistake
about its being 'brotherly'-it's so
disagreeable."
"Disagreeable! 1 thought 1t sounded
pleasant" l exclaimed.
Prinking and Preening,
mo, it's not pleasant! It's SEN
sible, Generally there's a difference.
Sis has been prInking and preening
for over an hour to get into that
simple garb she wears. 1 bet you a
bun that man thinks she looks sweet
and dainty. and fresh and simple. 1
bet he feels that she knows how to
wear ne4t. plain clothes! He doesn't
know there are twenty-five yards of
lace with blue strings in it under
meath, and that she won't have any
but German Val. Amt a wise one!'
he paused to side remark with an
air of great self-appreclation.
Most fellows like kind of plain
clothes, with a neat effect. If you
haven't got sisters. you don't know
they cost a lot more than the fluffy
rags, where the crooked seams and
bad cut Is covered with gobs OF lace.
tell you, sisters are a liberal edu-
cation. You get into the ropes. And,
when you do see a girl you like a
whole lot, you know what It's going
The Washington times., 1911-10-01

IN retirement, and rhe'll never live long
enough for the reading public to forget
the publicity that he pulled around him
self. Paderewsh came near getting his.
and they do say that before his mana
ger rescued Kubelik and made him wear
veil on the street he felt the
gentle but hasty pressure of some thou
sands of pairs of American lips.
Our esteemed little aviator. Mr.. At
wood, simply announced to the Assoc
clated Press that. there absolutely was
nothing doing in the osculatory line.
and he seems to be the sort of a Ruy
who, while he ordinarily wouldn't strike
a lady. is willing to back up his deci-
sion with force.
Funny dope, how all of our maidens
want to kiss our heroes. They didn't
use to do it. In my youth they were
content to write for lock of hair and
be satisfied with anything a hero or a
matinee idol would send them. whether
ne had his valet cut it from the tail
of a horse or pull It out of a mat
tress. '.'-'
Doug's To Be Pitied
Poor Doug, he's to be pitied. OF
course, he can't help 1t because he looks
like a kid, but it's some hard for a
man who's been married for half a
dozen years and has one of those two
year-olds around the house calling him
pa to be the recipient of the adora-
ton of the chickens
He says that he could stand 1t IL It
wasn't for the twelve to fourteen-year-
olds, who line up alongside the stage
entrance after the matinee and try TO
wayiay him. So, If you know any news
paper men, tell them to disseminate
this gentle information, and maybe the
little chickens will take the hint and
go home to roost"
The Washington times., 1911-10-01
What She SAID Was True

everything just she always does but hamefaced
forced admit what she said rather
conforming lot the idea of what ought have
trousseau instead of what | ma
OF | be economical don't of fluffy
things that neither practical
to be like Brides imagine the earliest has
felt that
picture grandmother smoothing her pretty things crnolined
and marvelouy fOunced with the feeling throbbng
her heart have
slender wedding |
mother with their and their travelling
have For, after ALL though
hearts don't And can't why loved they loved only of
shouldn't conform O the idea of
Got Sort of Clicked Up
tried of that Mabel, tried express to
the thought and of love and plans
the wonderful chain that binds
Of choked do when to talk
broke off, somewhat amey I'm afraid she put about
and whispered that ealousust jealousyand
habit laughing being heart
that led her to laugh
10 never have guessed don't know who the
Hou used to know her WE'LL fact
long before knew that loved Well
long long letter and tried So good night May
bring dreams of and carry vision of YOU
The Washington times., 1911-10-01
The Leading Lady;
Or, Sound Do, Do!

1t was October. and the great white
way was ahlaze. Lightly, without
even a suggestion of losing her bal
ance, she tripped into the managers
office.
Il want to go on the stage" she
thrilled. Il want to be a actress in
The Washington times., 1911-10-01
A Blow

Il wish 1 could deal that cat a stag
gering blow"
circulate around and ask all your
men friends to dance with her. She'll
be wild when she finds 1t out"
The Washington times., 1911-10-01
Around the End
And Down the Field
NO ROUGE

NU ROUGE
Wifey-WhS DIDN'T you stop in at the
drug store yesterday and get the things
l asked you to?
Hubby-Well, my dear, 1 remembered
that 1 promised you never to do any-
thing to bring a blush to your cheek,
The Washington times., 1911-10-01
During the Summer

You made an error in rejecting that
man." declared the chaperon.
Maybe l did, responded the beach
belle. but think of all the chances 1
accepted"
The Washington times., 1911-10-01

defenseess house don If she'd just take
that might suffer silence
she takes that makes imitation campaign
and rise feet protest
Bill the house the other night when she
practice The she Belle payn
keep payin until the kicks her in the shin
begins another scale.
Bills Patient For Big Man
Bill didn't say anything first hnkin' that, like
and horses it'd have to time But he didn't
know the girl mex door
Name he says last T that bn done purpose
awful afcon?"
It's awful afaicton and we're the that's suffer
in with The girl door CROWN aer evry day. Do
think she's fallen Passionatey love with that plar scale
"On the other hand Bill Il think she's taken
able dislike and is deb rately Judgin
the sound of now he lit amt much longer for this
earth"
he wrong of that
hghn its life, fifteen
its second wind
walk" says Bill "and if still alive protestn
back I'll and help her at the slaughter
back until after H. Belle, and by that
dead-for the night.
The Washington times., 1911-10-01

IAREST: Needles and pins, needles and pins,
when marries his trouble begins" So runs
the old couplet, but when it's a girl it should be
when she starts to get married her trouble begins
for have been standing hours like manikin while
the dressmakers pinned and sewed and measured
and talked quite as if l only lay figure to
off my clothes instead of having clothes to set
off. However each time that my ignored per-
sonaity stirred to protest or | got tired there
would rush through the thrill. This is my
trousseau they are working on | shall wear all of
these for Jack They for my new life with
him." and then would forget everything in dreams.
The Washington times., 1911-10-01
MAMIE ELLIS BELLE
The Girl Next Door
Is Taking Lessons, and
SHE LOVES MUSIC-BUT

M STRONG for music, Belle: think Wagner and
Mendelssohn and John Philip Sousa three o
the greatest men that contributed to the gay
ETY. o nations, not exceptin' the man that in
vented the merry-go-'round and the fellow that
writes the prose poems.
I've stood the mouth organ in the mouth of
an amateur without complanin'; I've even given
hurdy gurdy Eyetalian f. cents for playin' "Mr.
Dooley in the year 19l A. D. but when it comes
TO the daughter O the house mex door takin' piano
lessons at the age o twenty-five years, l balk,
Belle. Not ony that, but l positively object
Arizona republican., 1911-04-13

iZens O arrrona. The Doctor 10 grad uate of Harvard Medical CO1-ege. War formerly a member of the Rhode Island and Colorado State Medica1 Societies, and United States Pension Examiner. Health Is wealth-Economy 10 be we'll Ara you suffering from some chronic sffec- ton? Are you weak, sick and unable to perform the ordinary duties of lifeI If so, beware of patent medicines, h. experienced and unskilled physicians: pr. Hubbard employs none but ratona and scientific methods-he uses no in- furious drugs fin removing the poisonous EASES from the system SEXUAL WEAKNESS, with all its Oaneful ef. tects positively cured by the latest and best remedies. Chronic, nervous, blood kidney, urinary, bladder and special dls- cages treated in a strictly up to dats manner All who have been unsuccess- fuIly treated elsewhere are especially invited to call
 CONSULTATION FREE-Hours 10 to 12 and 1 to 3. Office room ,, second floor Monihan building, corner Washing ton and First Avenue, Phoenix Arizona
Arizona republican., 1911-04-13

THE LATEST STYLES OF HAIR GOODS FOR SALE. COMBINGS MADE INTO PUFFS, cURLS AND SWITCHES. FOR A HAIR DRESS, SHAMPOO OR MASSAGE, SEE SHIRLEY G SHIRLEYS TOILET PARlOR, 39 E. ADAMS. PHONE RED s072. OVERLAND PHONE 2622
Arizona republican., 1911-04-13
Nothing Succeeds
 Like Success
pr. Hubbard Is known through out the Southwest ss a Lea d ing Specialist in Chron' ic Diseases.

He has the con- tidence and patron age of the leading business men and most prominent cit-
Arizona republican., 1911-04-13
THE OSTRICH EGG
 AS EASTER GIFT
Beautifully Decorated and Plain at
 Balke's Big Curio Store

It is a very short time now until Easter Most people know that but they may not have thought how little time they had for the making of Easter presents to friends. Their at tentlon is called to this important matter by Balke's Big Curio store which has lew suggestions To make.
 For this purpose the Big CuriO store has lot of Arizona ostrich eggs. Some of them are hand painted by skilled artist, with valley de- signs. These eggs would make nIce souvenirs to send to friends in the east. Then there are lot of plain ostrich eggs which would make pres ents acceptable to those of artistic tendencies who would prefer to make their own decorations. Nothing could be more appropriate for an Easter present than one of these eggs.
 An addition to it would be one of those handsome Indian baskets .J keep the egg in They are now being sold for d trifle for the lot of more than 800 must be sold before the ..e- parture of Mir. Bake for Europe.
 But there is one present that every body expects to make. That is the Easter card. Easter cards are being sent all over the country Few of them are us handsome as the works of art which come from Balke's Big Curio store and none or them cost SD little. At tine Big Curio store they are a penny apiece. Elsewhere cards uf sini.ar quality are sold, twp for nickel
Arizona republican., 1911-04-13
pabst BlueRibbo1l
The Beer of Quality

The Pabst exclusive malting process allows the barley to grow for eight days. Thus is Nature copied, it taking eight days for barley to sprout and start growing when planted in the ground.
 In this way, Pabst makes sure that all the rich food value of the grain goes into Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.
Arizona republican., 1911-04-13

(Ts bs esnfinEeG
Arizona republican., 1911-04-13
PROVIDED,

No, duke, my daughter cannot marry you"
 But 1 cannot live without her"
 "Oh, yes you can, my poor fellow. I think I can get you into some good pOorhouse. .'-Louisville Courier Jour nal. s z
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

ton officers looked upon those arriving in this country. The president told them that he went last fall to Ellis Island and remained there during the forenoon listening to the cases presented to the immigration commissioners, and that once or twice, moved by compas- sion, he intervened in behalf of immigrants whom the com missioner would have turned back, and that he had since followed those cases in which he had been influenced against his better judgment, but that he had to make the humiliat- ing confession that the out come vindiCated the commits sioner and showed that his eX- perience was better than the presidents compassion.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17
7HE WAY TO BUILD


 every person in it, who can, to put some money into industries that give the people employment, and push the ln- dustries to success. Indus tries that last all the year round are the best; but those that last part of the year are better than none. The most valuable power on earth IS human power, and when 1t is not employed 1t is not only lost but 1t also consumes part of what others earn. Work creates wealth and work sets money in motion; work pays debts; work is the vital power in prosperity; and that city, that community and that na- ton whose people are idle Is poor, and poor in proportion to the number that work aid the time they work. Heavens greatest earthly blessing to any people is to give them honest, remunera- tive work.
 The place that gives a man his living is entitled to his best efforts to advance every thing calculated to benefit the place and the community. No man has a right to live in a live town who seeks to enrich himself and not actively iden- tify himself with its interests. To be classed as a drone or chronic kicker, and opposed to every measure believed to be for the good of the citizens, is a stigma that should attach to no man in the corporation. The Improvements necessary to be made and the manner ot making them a monument to the enterprise and intelligence of the citizens is the duty each person owes to the place in which he lives. No man has a right to block legislation in his town simply because he is not personally benefited by the proposed improvements or perchance may have to pay a little toward 1t, for in the end 1t will no doubt have proven a wise proceeding. Let all join in any movement calcu- lated to better our little city In the year 1911, and trust the results will justify the ac- tion and meet the highest an ticipations for prosperous fut11re
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17
G(F APPEARANCES ARE e to be trusted, something

eD to be trusted, something
 will be done at this ses- sion of congress to prevent
 the influx of undesirable peo- pie from Europe. Surely if there IS any choice in undesir- ables, the Asiatics by way of the Pacific are less vicious than some who have been re- gently coming across the At lantic. A deputation of Amer ican newspapers, numbering thirty-two, called on President Taft to protest against the hardships encountered by inn migrants landing in this coun- try. Their spokesman, Louis Hammerling, told the presi
 dent that they. objected to the suspicion with which imigra-
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

T h e Louisville Courier Journals demand for more populous Kentucky might be met, ill measure, by retiring a few guns from active service and a little Sunday school work in Breathitt county.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

Christian Scientists are con- hdent that the death of their leader will not materially re- tard their work of Eddyfying the people.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

The fight to dissolve the su- gar trust has begun. It ought to get fierce about the time the next presidential election is held.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

A fact that is not likely to worry many newspaper men Is that the price of diamonds is to be advanced.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

The anti-Diaz newspapers in old Mexico are being SUD- pressed as fast as they make their appearance.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

China won't be up to date until 1t has more laws than people.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

After Colonel Roosevelttells us what to do with abandoned farms he may turn his atten- ton to the abandoned states men.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

Talk about your pie coun- ters. Four thousand Repub- lican office holders are to lose their places in Cook county, Ill.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

The Republican party re- tains the championship for large and corrupt campaign funds.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

Many man buys an auto mobile these days so as to get a chance to toot his own horn.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

The schools are complain ing that letter writing is lost art. But the divorce courts do not bear out this complaint
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

It is said the constitution of Arizona is the shortest ever written.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

Somehow we never doubt a man when he admits that he Is a liar.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

Another man who did all the work at the capture of Jeff Davis has just died.
Holbrook argus., 1911-01-17

The Sugar trust seems to have had it's disposition con siderably soured.
The Washington herald., 1911-03-10
APPETITE.

How it is take your when hungry groaning
board up belt eat The thus gifted
afford grin all fes little Ills fortunes frowns, however
GRIM druggists doctors bshis world just snap
him Dyspepc people, driven daft by foolish ad look and
say He ought the Fletcher graft and chew his food half
To swallow smoking food like that nothing better than
he strong and beay fat and bilious, weak
and thin Another crank looks agast cries. Great
ginger What That should try three
if would strengthen up his ame To eat fercey violates
the rules that modern science springs yet he WELL while
fasting skates slowly driving up by ngsT And other addstS
wag the and keep the air with protests he ought
his take them down capsule form. He loves
hear the dinner horn invite him to increase his weight he laughs
the idle fads and Father Adams
oCorydst 1g1 BY George Matthew AdamS WALT Mason.