The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1911-06-27
KANSAS COMMENT
THE HAPPIEsr NAN

OF course we should all be as happy
as kings, and probably most of US are
more so, for it isn't smiles that usually
cracks the uneasy head that wears a
crown. responsibilities of state and
part of the anarchists, tend to make
Improvement in Workmanship on the
royalty restless and peevish. There
fore, in the search for the happiest
man, one might as well pass up the
throne, which can be done and still
leave wide field to select from
A hlgh-broW who has been investi-
eating has figured out that the negroes
constitute the happiest race; that a
negro with four bits worth of corn
pone and bacon, a bad case of rheu-
matism and cross eyes IS likely to be
happier than a good-looking white
man trying to ruin perfect health
squandering the steel trusts millions,
Eliminate, therefore, the white race in
the search for the happiest man. Also
all the other colors save the darker
shade, for the noble Red Man is a
noted crouch, the Jap too polite to
show exceeding great joy If he feels it,
and our little brown brothers are too
lazy to have a good time. Therefore,
Watson, by the simple process of de-
duction or reduction, the search for
the happiest man narrows down to the
negro race And then II is still easier.
Blazing his trail with diamonds and
violations of the speed ordinances, life
has been a continual round of pleasure
from Reno to London, for Jack John
son, certainly the happiest man. Add
ed to everything he had in this country
comes the distinction that he is at
tracing more attention in London than
John Hays Hammond, or Whitelaw
Reid. Also, there is the joyful sensa-
ton that the smoky shade IS less a bar
sinister over there, and the white
sports are making more fuss over him
than his own people did in America
Health, wealth, the spotlight and the
knowledge that he is champion of the
world, together with the black mans
disposition for aSsimilating joy in
punches, clearly give little Arthur one
title that Carl Morris nor other hope
of fairer hue can hope to take away:
the title of Happiest Naturalization
Globe
SASSING THE TELEPHONE GIRL.
Missouri has a law which went into
effect yesterday making it a penitenti-
airy offense to raise a rumpus with q
telephone girl. The Times has not seen
a copy of the law but, judging from
the Kansas City Journals report of it,
1t is pretty rough on the men. No
matter what the telephone girl does
she mustn't be iawed or cusred. and it
won't do at all to jerk tho telephone
Off the wall and jump on 1t The girl
may keep the business man waiting till
she nnlSheS conversation with her
best Teller over the line or with the
girl next her who is telling her how
swell Teller" smiled at her on the
street as she come in. or while she
goes to get a ''chaw'' of gum, and then
when the man shows some impotence
at being kept waiting she may ring
back viciously in his ear, but he must
smile and take his medicine or he will
be in danger of the penitentiary. There
appears to be nothing in the law to
prohibit the girl from sas3in the man,
or from shutting him off in the midst
of an important conversation, or from
breaking in with: Hello! Hello! Still
talking?" Talk about crank laws in
Kansasi-Leavenwort Times.