Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1911-01-11

Of the piano stool and began to make
his double chin do gurgle, where
upon the youngest of the two female
impersonators handed him glare that
put out his chuckle and he started the
piano stool again at the rate of forty
FIVE revolutions per minute.
9TH ould buffalo over there showed
us up to tn spare room, thinkin' to be
funny" she who was fated never to
be our cook, went on. "and If 1 wasn't
in daffy house and him nothin' but
bug it's the weight of that chair he'd
feel over his bald spot. TIL ould
goosehead, to set us down on tn
porch and talk to us for an hour about
tn landscape and tn atmosphere, and
to ask me, a respectable lady, what
kind of exercise was partial to! It's
hiven's own blessin' didn't hand him
poke in tn Stats, so it isl"
Uncle Peter, with palpably assumed
Indifference, slid off the piano stool
and faded behind the furthermost win
dow curtain, while l went up to the
belligerent visitor and said, ION your
way, Gismonda; the referee gives the
fight to you; here's the gate receipts"
With this l handed her ten-spot,
which she looked at suSpiciouSly and
said, IF ever l get that ould potato
FOUNDER over in New York it's exer-
else I'll give him. Sure, I'll run him
from tn bat'hry to Harlem without q
shtop for meals, bad cess to him!"
h iD I'm
to Uncle Peter, the queen of the
kitchen flounced out of the house, fol-
lowed by the younger one, who had
played only a thinking part in the
strenuous scene.
Aunt Martha still sat motionless in
the chair, quite on the verge of tears,
when Clara J. went over to her and
said, 'Why didn't you tell me you
were going after servants, auntie?"
Il wanted to surprise you," the old
lady replied, plaintively. "They were
to be my contribution to the house
hold"
"You handed us a surprise, all right,
didn't she, Uncle Peter?" I chirped in
with a view to laughing off the whole
affair, but Just then a series of start
ling shrieks caused us all to rush for
the piazza.
At the gate we beheld a kicking,
struggling mass Of lingerie and bad
| dialect, which presently resolved itself
| into the forms of my temporary rela-
tives, who were now busily engaged
in matchmaking the roadway with
| their heads.
Then Tacks came yelling on the
scene: II thought maybe they was fe-
male burglars, so l stretched a wire
acrost the gate and they was in such
a hurry getting away that they never
noticed it till it was too everlastingly
| late!"
Before we could demonstrate with
the Boy-Disaster he let another whoop
| out of him and darted off in the direc'
ton of the barn.
That whoop brought the two wire
tappers to their feet, and after they
both shook their fists eagerly in our
| direction they started in frenzied
haste for the depot.
AS they scurried frantically out Of
| our neighborhood Uncle Peter smiled
blandly and murmured: For lectur-
ers, female reformers and all those
who lead a sedentary life there's moth.
ing like exercised"
Putting my arm around Clara j. IS
waist, | whispered, Didn't l tell you
| it was one of Bunchs put-up jobs ?
| He's jealous because I'm so happy out
here with you, that's all! AS for the
/ telegram, forget it,"
"All right, john" said Clara J., "but
nevertheless that same telegram gave
you busy day, didn't it?"
ct surely did, but it was only be-
cause hated to have you worried"
answered, as she went in the house to
console Aunt Martha.
I sat down in chair, expecting ev-
cry moment to have the Prince of Ii
ars come up and congratulate me-
Humming a tune quietly to himself,
| Uncle Peter watched the flying squad
| ron disappear in bend of the road,
| then he sat down near me and said,
John, you're worried about something
and I'VE pretty fair idea what it is.
This property is too big load for you
to carry, eh?"
From the depths of my heart l re
| piled, at certainly Isl
We'll" said the old gentleman, "it
surely has made a hit with me. I
never struck a place l liked half as
well as this. How would you like to
sell it to me, then you and Clara J.
could live with US, Ell? Come on, now,
what dye say?"
sat there utterly unable to say
anything.
What did it cost you; come on,
now, John?" the old fellow urged.
"Oh, about $4,000" I whispered.
picking out the first figure I could
| think of.
Its worth it and more, too" he
said "T'n give you $4,000 for it-say
the word"
well, if you insist" 1 replied,
weakly; and the next minute he
| danced off to write me check.
In the tar barrel every time l
opened my mouth! Hard luck was
certainly putting the wrapping paper
| all over me.
/