davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05
ZzT G9EAZ R0aINZ| AAH

Hituue OF us structures Dut especially
because of the reason that it will re-
store to agriculture a vast area of
desert which was densely populated
in an age forgotten by race which
has vanished utterly. Some Of the
prehistoric canals are utilized today
in this modern system.
The total investment of the govern
ment in Salt River valley will exceed
100000, yet this investment does
not entail the permanent loss of
single dollar from the United States
treasury. The government holds a
mortgage on all the land which will
be watered which obligated the own.
ers to repay In not less than ten years
the entire sum expended by the Unit.
ed States. Salt River valley is semi
tropical in climate. It's products are
singularly like those of Egypt Here
the orange, lemon, lime, pomel, fig
and date trees flourish, also almonds,
peaches. cherries and other fruits in
abundance. Alfalfa, corn, oats, barley
and wheat yield enormous crops. All
kinds of vegetables and small fruits
are grown here and by reason Of early
ripening command fancy prices in
eastern and western markets. The
livestock industry is a permanent one
and thousands of horses, cattle, sheep
and hogs are annually marketed here.
Ostrich farming has grown rapidly I'M
til today there are 1900 of these birds
in the valley, producing several hun
dred thousand dollars worth of feath-
ers each year.
For many years parts Of the desert
around Phoenix have been irrigated.
But the Salt river, which supplied the
water, at flood times brought more
than the farmers could use and in dry
times much less. To save the water
for use is the purpose of the Roose-
welt dam, from behind whose solid
masonry the water will be sent down
to the valley as the needs of the land
demand. From the reservoir the wa
ter flows down the Salt river bed UNI
til 1t energies from the foothills. There
the Granite Reef dam, long concrete
wall across the river bed-3S feet
high--turns the water into the canals,
in which 1t flows as far as 30 miles
on it's way to the farthest fields be-
yond Phoenix.
Vast potentialities for the produc.
ton of foodstuff await the coming OF
the water. No richer land is found
anywhere. 1t produces all the crops
of the temperate zone and some OF
the subtropical ones as well. Already
the oranges of Phoenix are famed for
their toothsomeness, and the time
probably will not be long till the dates
of the temple and the olives of Mesa
will be spoken Of
The works at the Roosevelt dam
will develop $4,000 horsepower. Part
of this will be used to irrigate $4,000
acres which are above the level of the
gravity canal, requiring that the wa
ter shall be lifted. Another portion OF
the available energy will be utilized
to pump water from the wells for the
pima reservation. In addition, there
is a surplus, which has already been
leased under contract to light the city
of Phoenix; and more power will soon
be available from the same source for
supplying light and power to farm
houses throughout the valley.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05

unselfish efforts we had pulled him
out Of the clutches of the Grabheimer
gang, and had saved lovable old Aunt
Martha from the distress of having
to go TO work in a cigar factory in
her old age
Sure thing! We were two good
boys to do this kindly deed
And 80 a few minutes later there
issued from Zurberg hotel a Dago
bootblack and Long Island Reub-
catchy pair, believe me,
key had gone on ahead to take
down the shutters. He had full in.
structions how TO break into Uncle
Peters good graces and tie up TO the
old fellows staff We were to play
soft music around the fringe of so
ciety and try to push my spendthrift
relative over against the philanthro-
pic brace game. but-ander no eircum-
stances were we TO crony up to key,
unless he yelled for financial help, a
contingency to be carefully guarded
against by all Of US.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05
ONLY WORK COUNTS
WOMAN IN BUSINESS SHOULD
NOT BE SENSITIVE.
She Is Not Paid Because She Is Pretty
or Stylish. but Because She Is
Useful to the
Business.

The woman who finds herself facing
the problem of earning living should
Immediately proceed to get rid Of her
sensitive feelings, if she has any. She
would do well to try to sink her per
sonality during business hours and
keep saying to herself that only her
work counts, that she is not paid be-
cause she is pretty or stylish, but just
because she is useful to the business
which pays her wages. When she fails
In that her good looks will not save
her. A capable girl with. perhaps,
neither beauty nor style. will succeed
her.
The employers who are hiring girls
for their charms are few, and the girls
who have to work are many. Femi-
nine workers are striving to secure
the wages Of men. which can only be
done by doing mems work. Now men
DO not expect praise and 1t does not
turn their head when 1t is given. AS
rule they do not accept reprocf as
personal injury.
The just employer gives both praise
and blame. When he pays promptly
he expects good work every day and
not according to the feelings of his
workers. When there is a valid rea-
son for leniency-like illness, for in
stance-he is kind, but for Sinking
he has no mercy. A man who en-
ploys more than fifty women told me
that he had no trouble with them be-
cause he treated them exactly as he
would treat men. His creed was so
much work fer 50 much money and he
reasoned that no woman had right
to accept a position she could not fill.
l think that was fully understood by
his Office, for he was in the habit Of
going away and returning without
warning, and he seemed satisfied with
the result
Women are not yet accustomed to
being treated with the lack of cour-
tesy which makes the atmosphere of
business place. A man whose brain is
turning over important plans cannot
give particular attention to the tone
in which he addresses an employee. 1t
may be brusque without his knowing
1t or intending any unkindness. A man
would pay no attention to tone as long
as words were decent, but to a wo-
mans sensitive ear the tone is every
thing. 1t seriously affects her work.
so business men claim, and It is the
necessity for avoiding trouble that
turns them in favor of male workers.
! saw badly ironed sheet taken back
to the kitchen recently by a woman
who is never anything but kind to her
employees. when you find clean
clothes that look like this, Mary, do
not bring them to me; do them over"
The girl burst into tears with the re-
mark that nobody had ever found fault
with her laundry till then. 1t re-
quired some reasoning to bring her to
a proper frame of mind, and the wo-
man decided to replace her by one
less sensitive at the earliest oppor-
tunity. 1t came last week.-Betty
Bradeen in The Buffalo Enquirer.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05
Outlet for the Mekona.

At the present time Bangkok and Ko
rat are already Joined by Railroad
and the French are negotiating for the
extension of this work eastward from
Korat, whence It would pass almost
due east to Hugh, cross the Mekons
at Kamarat, and eventually finding the
sea at Turan. The country between
Konarat and Hugh is mountainous and
the construction OF this section would
be excessively costly. Were the en-
cheering difficulties TO be overcome,
however. It is possible that Turon
might become the outlet of the bulk
Of the trade for the upper valley Of the
Mekong. Further India"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05
Exnerlencn 70 Renemher

A woman and her four-year-old chilo
were rescued early the other morning
on a Welsh mountain after a terrible
ordeal. They visited some relatives
and started back across the Deri
mountain. The woman, however, took
the wrong road. and as night fell found
she was lost. In the darkness. both
she and the child fell into a brook.
They managed to extricate themselves.
but as they ran to and fro wet
through and bitterly cold, the child left
it's mothers side. The woman wan
dered about screaming for help. until
a workman heard her Search parties
were at once sent out and the child
was discovered in a plantation, almost
dead from exposure, with a bad wound
in the head caused by falling over a
rock. 1t had been without food, on
the frozen mountain side. for sixteen
hours.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05

Bunch surely looked the part His
face had been treated with a hand
painted complexion that took him to
Genoa and back on the same steamer,
and he had the Guinea crouch down
fine
He was so tickled over the prospect
Of the rich joke that spread out before
him that he kept laughing inwardly
till ! thought he'd explode and spoil
my IS suit
Say! | was all to the Oshkosh,
With the store clothes, and the wig
and the imitation Panama hat made
out of cracked oats. and the neat lit
tie group of wind-teasers on the chin,
I was regular Silas Tobasco Per
kins, from Hickory Corners, b'gosh!
We separated before reaching the
gate, after naming a spot where we'd
meet in an hour TO compare notes.
Bunch joined the push of pikers on
their way through the turnstile to the
Promised Land, and little later
followed.
1t was now up to me to do a gwak
specially and l went after the record.
/ rubbered my way into the bet
ting ring. saw that key vas at his
post and then l went on a still hunt
for Uncle Peter.
While exercising the elastic in NV
neck Just outside the betting pit l
carelessly put one o. my elbows into
the dining arrangements of a hurry
ing stranger and the next moment he
treated me to about a pound of the
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05

blows the first crack would change
his complexion and he'd probably
get pinched as a suspicious character
so he had to stand there and let those
Guinea shoe-beaters shower verbal
spaghetti all over him.
knew that if | interfered logged
up in the Reub harness I'd only make
matters worse. but | was just going
to take chance when a track Cop
pushed through the crowd and in
Quired for particulars.
"Onea beega slob," the leading
man in the Dago troupe yelled; "he
makea de cheap shine; beega slob!"
NO gotta da Union card!" yelled
another native OF Palermo.
oh! oh! l could feel the loud laugh
on Bunch creeping to the surface.
Delighted with the ingenuity of his
disguise he had danced into the arena
but no sooner did the regulars in the
boOt-shining industry get peep at
the luckless Bunch than they held
him up as non-union man and
scab
Oh! oh!
"Onea beega slob! makea da pinch!
makea da pinch,' the Dagos yelled
In unison and it was up to Mr.. Cop
to get busy
What dye mean by buttin' in
here?" the Cop asked. but Bunch
didn't dare open his mouth and dis.
play his assortment of phony Italian.
Get out of here, ye cheap skate"
the Cop yelled. grabbing Bunch by
the shoulder and pushing him over to
the gate. What dye mean by cut.
tin prices and tryin to become a
Pierpint Morgan at the expense OF
these regular shines?"
The Dagos yelled with delight and
l ducked so as not to add to Bunch's
misery by letting him get a peep at
me.
But. Oh! oh! what horse on my
college chum!
Now get out of here commanded
the Cop as he gave Bunch a hard
push through the gate, and stay out,
We Guinea slob."
The patent-leather Founders on the
inside screamed with JOY as the inter
loper went bouncing out OF their
Eden. Bunch turned angrily and was
about to speak. but suddenly changed
his mind and rushed on in the tireo.
ton of the hotel
When l got back to key the race
was over. Eppy Grams win and the
delighted Uncle Peter cashed in amid
great applause from himself.
Uncle Peter saw me and wanted 10
buy me q box Of cigars but | excused
myself and he rushed of. flooding tbs
earth with joyous chuckles.
Making an appointment with key
for the morning l hurried to join the
disgruntled Bunch.
OH Oh,
When l found him he consisted Of
one large sore spot.
Oh,
Copyright by G. W Dillingham; Coz
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05
Not a Success.

Il must give it up" moaned the
student. Il never can become an
artist"
Don't be respondent" urged the
friends. Maybe you have failed to
get into the right atmosphere"
Atmosphere" retorted the defect
ed one. Haven't l raised a Van
Dycke beard. worn a Rembrant hat
and Michael Angelo robe and Giotto
shoes. and eaten Murillo cherries for
a year? l tell you, I've no talent to
develop"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05

time for the third race and men
toned Eppy Grams as being fancy
BIT of pipe.
Just about that time found myself
in front of keys come-on camp, so
halted and began to dig for some
dough.
How do you do" / heard Uncle
Peter exclaim as he got a fash OF
key. You're the young man / met
while I was with Mr. Lawrence, and
| promised to do some business With
you. didn't II"
key spread out a grin and an
swered, Yes, sir, Mr. Grant"
What is the name of your choice,
Mr.. Dodd?" Uncle Peter inquired
turning to me.
"Eppy Grams" answered;
friend of mine down Swampscott
way hearn tell as how tcat colt is
EASTERN a streak of homemade
Iightnin'. so ] reckon I'm about due to
peel off ten dollars and plant it whar
Eppy Grams can make 1t grow"
l read the lines for keys benet1t
and certainly had him on the ropes
The first sentence gave him an attack
OF cholera morbus and when Uncle
Peter asked for the odds it was all
key could do to get back in time TO
answer
Uncle Peter placed a hundred on
Eppy Grams at to 1 and after ex'
pressing a desire to see more OF me
he babe Mr.. Dodd7 good-by and
rolled off to watch the race.
key asked me where Bunch was
and then it suddenly occurred to me
that 1 hadn't kept the appointment.
| hustled around to locate my com
panion in the life saving business but
not a sign of him anywhere until pres
emily, attracted by a crowd over near
the gate, l rubbered through and
picture!
In the center Of the crowd stood the
sullen Bunch surrounded by six or
seven real Dago boot-doctors, all ges'
ticulating and giving my friendless
pal the double cross in Italian.
The biggest member and leader Of
the besieging party had worn his ton
sils down coaxing Bunch to fight IT
out. but the latter stood there wild
eyed and silent.
Bunch realized that If it came to
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05

warmest verbal remonstrance | ever
listened to.
With his first word | turned and
recognized my old friend, the Ken
lucky horse trainer, Murf Higginbot
tom
"Yo al cert'nly should know that
my stomach amt no place for yo' ell
bow, subj" he expostulated. Amt
they room enough in this big world
sub. for yo elbow without decorating
my personal property? | don't know
much about medicine, sub, but know
enough to tell yo' all that strangers
elbow amt got any business in my
stomach. subj"
| tried to apologize for bombarding
his Little Mary, but Murf was sore
all over.
'Yo' all can't cut a gully through
my right of way, sub, and then square
yo' self by laying the blame to acct
dent. subj Murf spluttered. Il made
1t rule all my life, sub to bump
them that bump me. and If 20 all has
any of the true ge'maR in yo'. sub.
yo' best follow me to quiet spot
and get yo bump. subj"
Then / leaned over and whispered
the pass word In Murfs ear. He
Jumped as though shot and looked at
me keenly. Then he cracked open a
loud laugh and asked for the particu-
lars.
"Yo' all cert'nly did fool yo' obedi-
ent servant" Muif chuckled And
I'm sholy glad yo' didn't follow me to
quiet spot because yo' all was
cert'nly due to get bumped. John. yo'
cert'nly vast"
Wen go to the quiet spot anyway,
Murf,' ! said. Il must put you wise
to the vaudeville act I'm playing and
get your help TO win out"
When / explained the whole situa-
ton to Murf he laughed till ! thought
his mind would explode.
When | fuss met yo' Uncle Peter. "
he managed TO gasp after bit. we
didn't cotton much TO each othah. but
when got TO know him bettah sub.
l felt more kindly disposed. and later
we got to be fuss class friends. II l
can do anything TO help yo all save
70 Uncle Peter from beating his
money to death command me. subj"
An want you to do, Murf." I
answered. is to introduce me to
ncle Peter as Hiram Dodd, a friend
Of yours from Swampscott. Conn.
and give me the name of likely win
ner in the third race this afternoon.
want to firmly establish my friend
snip with Uncle Peter by handing him
winner first crack out OF the box
Are YOU next. Murf3"
i cert'nly follow yo all closely. all
the way around" Murf answered
Tell him 10 lay a few dollars on
Eppy Grams in the third race-it
sholy locks like the money. subj
We strolled around biz and pres.
entity ran across Uncle Peter who
recognized Murf and greeted him eff
fusively
| was introduced and underwent the
initiation with flying Colors Uncle
Peter played me for Hiram Dodd to
the limit even going so far as to tell
me he knew several members Of the
Dodd family in Connecticut.
Murf excused himself and by easy
stages l led my esteemed Uncle
around TO the Lorses. 1t was abou,
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05
Reaard for the unltlea.

Mr.. Clectem," says the editor of
the new dictionary to his helper. 81
notice that you have included a large
number of new words-of slang ex-
pressions-in the list you have com
piled"
yes. sir" says the photographer
81 thought 1t would be just as well
to accept these coined words as part
of the language. BY the rule Of pop
ular usage"
Rubbish" exclaims the editor Of
the dictionary. 1T is impossible to
print coined word Coming means
forming Of metal; bank notes are
printed, but currency is coined
and"
But Mr.. Clectem is busily dashing
a blue pencil through his manuscript
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05

maud Muller on mad March day
Went blithely strolling down the way.
Her hat was a two-bushel size
And covered her below the eyes.
She wore a scarf of splendid fur
That wildly wrapped the form of her.
But, o. the forward mink and peril
She wore brand new harem skirt.
The wind 1t whooped, the wind It roared,
But Maud walked on IN manner bored.
About each ankle slim and trim
The harem things chung tight and grim.
And strong men wept and barred the eye
To catch the specks of dust that fly.
Policemen shuddered on their beats
And horses pell-melled up the streets.
The Judge came walking through the
town
And viewed Miss Muller with a frown.
Then to the courthouse straight he
stalked
And to his bench he swiftly walked.
He raped for order in the place
And viewed the room with iron face
He sent for Maud's poor pa and ma
And to them both laid down the law.
Such harem-scarem garb." he sternly
said.
Should not be seen, nor heard. nor read.
Take Maudie home and spank her well-t
That skirt unto the ragman sell"
o. blither than a tra-Ia-lee
Were his words: Such things cannot be-"
The harem skirt now Grapes a Turk
Who sells rugs as his daily work.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05

you look as though you had not
had enough sleep" we say to or
friend, noticing his pale face and has-
gard eyes.
Il haven't" he answers. 81 got up
pretty early this morning."
"Ah, up with the sun, eh?" we ir.
quire merrily
Just so. Got up with him at i
o'clock and walked the floor the rest
of the night. He's cutting a lot of
teeth"
We are about to say something else,
but suddenly remember that he has
thriving baby at his house.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05

The old ticket-of-leave systematic
staple Of many an honest melodrama
after Charles Peace-has at last gone
altogether Henceforth the discharged
convict really anxious to make a clean
start will not be brought into direct
contact with the police. Up to now
the convict has been supervised by the
police on the one hand and cared for
by various philanthropic societies on
the other, and there has been no CO
operation between the police and the
societies. The new scheme Is to com
bine into central body the societies
which have hitherto aided discharged
prisoners and TO give this body author
ity to deal with the convicts and funds
to carry on the work. This body will
be responsible for the convicts whose
interests 1t serves, and the police will
have no more dealings with discharged
prisoners SO long as they keep from
further crime.-From the London Sat
urday Review.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05

Bunch and | had schemed to dis
guise ourselves and lead Uncle Peter
up to our own specially engaged book
maker, key Schwartz, at the race
track, in order to conserve the coin
he was losing by betting on the
ponies.
Uncle Peter left Ruraldene quite
early on the day of the race and an
hour or two later ! met Bunch at
Zurberg's roadhouse near the track.
Bunch had engaged room and was
in there unpacking a trunk when l
answered roll call.
what's the deal with the duds?' l
inquired as he hauled lot OF farce
comedy clothes out of the kick and
tossed them on the chairs.
these are for the makeup" he
answered. you don't suppose we're
going to pull this play off in straight
face, do you? Bite into the strych-
nine, John, and get nervous, get
nervous"
Bunch was General Jackson at the
head of the brigade for sure, and the
busy Uncle Peter was astonishing.
What am / supposed to play in
this Production" | asked, as 1 gave
the laugh-rags the freely look over.
Well" replied Bunch, I'm the old
college days you were considered one
OF our best little smile-pullers. In
those days you were rated high as a
comical cuss when it came to acting
out, so you for the little bunch of
Billallys on the chin, and do Reub!"
u do a Reub!" / gasped. Am
supposed to put on the Keokuk coat
and thu Piketown pants and chew hay
around the track all day."
Say, is Uncle Peter your relative
or miner" Bunch came back. Are
you going to back pedal now when
the show is ready to open? II you
want to save this money-spilling old
Gazizzum youll have to roll up the
sleeves and play ball, tell you those.
How are you going to tout him up to
our counter so we can get his coin
If you don't wear the binders, huh?"
And what fat part have you cast
yourself for?" asked, more than
half way inclined to let Uncle Peter
go the whole distance on the Per
dition pike.
Why I'm going to do a Dago boot
black" Bunch replied, I've got all the
goods right here. Say! this whole
scheme hits me just about right.
anticipate rolling up large bundle of
laughs, and, besides, doing that fool
ish old man a big favor Say, John.
can you catch me shining old Uncle
Peters shoes and steering him on to
a sure thing. EN-. what? It's pipe,
that's all it is
Bunch's enthusiasm soon dispelled
all my doubts and in minute we
were into the details of our makeup
Presently key Schwartz called as per
agreement with Bunch and we went
over the whole plan Bunch had
enough dough in the overalls to
square things in case anybody caught
key with a long shot. but the latter
promised to make the prices so unin-
viting to outsiders that there would
be nothing doing around the bazaar.
except for Uncle Peter.
It looked like cinch trimmed with
pansies.
All we had to do was to coax Uncle
Peter up to the receiving teller and
hold him there till he had headache
I'm the bank account Then we'd lead
him out in vacant lot somewhere,
preach him n few lines on the evils
of the betting ring, and give him
back his faded cush
In my minds eye could see CRATE
full Uncle Peter falling upon our
necks and blessing us in seven differ
ent languages because through our
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-04-05
a Wise Nsvor.

Mayor Crump, at a Democratic ban.
quet in Memphis. said of a political
turncoat:
He is as inconsistent in politics as
man is in love.
Mans Inconsistency in 1--we is. you
know, proverbiai The average man,
as soon as he wins a woman, tires Of
her. The advice I'd give to every girl
Is this,
There is only one way to keep =
mans love. and that is never to re
turn It