davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28
A Gen.reus Actor:

i remember when Toole was playing
an exceptionally Hne engagement with
us that he said laughingly: 'Oi. by
the way. Calvert. II my wife comes
down nest week don't say anything
abuu. the Lig receipts. You see. I've
Il lol Of nephews and nieces. and they
all expect tips from Uncle Johnnie
last year they had over f4O0 from me
and my wife thinks rather "ve:do
it."-"Sixty-cigh Years on the Stage"
by Mrs. CHARLES Calvert.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28
He Heard Nothing

On a business trip to the city
a farmer decided TO take home
to his wife a Christmas present
of q shirt-waist Going into a
store and being directed to the
waist department, he asked Of
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28
Unwritten Christmas

Vii ISkuIuS
Greetings
President Taft to Senator La
Toilette
Dear Bob: Merry Christmas.
| hear you are going to try for
the nomination at Chicago.
Say, Bob, ii you find yourself
in need of a platform you are
welcome to mine, adopted at
Chicago four years ago. 1t
never has been used and is as
good as new. Looks like a
hard winter. doesn't h9
Eu'aii-, to Alfonso
Dear A.: | am S anding you
a little Chris MAJ =, sent and
hope you will enjoy it 1t is
nv new book in which tell
some Of the cute little things
you used to say when you were
a baby. | also have knocked a
few spots off the court and
given my opinion Of the carry
ings on there. You should find
my book almost as interesting
as the American report on the
blowing up of the Maine.
Merry, merry Christmas, Alt.
John D. Rockefeller to Judge
Lands
Dear Kanesaw: The YuFe-
tide is with us again. the hop
ply, happy Yuletide Let Us
raisa our VOICES tog ather and
sing Oilelnjsh, O le|uj4h Oils
Well With the World. send
you the compliments of the
season toget HAP with my check
for S29,OOO.O00, drawn on the
Standard Oil company, which l
understand has gone out of
business. Oh, let us be joyful!
DR.. Wiley to Solicitor McCabe
Dear Old Mac: l hope you
do not feel put out over any,
thing and can partake with me
of the pure food for thought Of
fered by the beautiful Christ.
mas tide. We should Away
strive to preserve the Christ
mas sentiment, although some
people seem to be sble to pre-
serve them without using len
zoate Of soda. Wishing you
many hsppy returns Of the day,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28
Where the Doctors
Are More Successful

A lawyer got into An argu
ment with physician over the
relative merits of their respec-
tive professions.
81 don't say that all lawyers
are CROOKS" said the doctor,
"but you'll have to admit that
your profession doe ant make
angels of men,"
"No," retorted thu attorney
''you doctors certainly nave the
best of us there"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28
How He Did 1t.

The clock struck IL p m.
Mrs. Moggs yawned behind Ter
fan, says the Liberty Advance.
MIR: Moggs coughed. But the il
visitors, disregarding the hint,
began to discourse on simple
life. At 1870 they were argu-
ing about Shakespeare. At
1890 they we're wading in
philosophy. At | o'clock it was
standard bread. Then Mrs.
Noggs frowned meaningly at
her sleepy spouse. Unless they
wished to remain up all night
something must be done.
Goodness gracious, how late
it is!" he cried, jumping up
suddenly. "My dear, hadn't
we better go to bed? Our
friends may want to be going"
liere IS a good deal said
about "gold shipments" The
fact is that there is very little
gold actually shipped. The way
it is done is this. If a bank in
New York wants to transfer
81, 1000, 900 to San Francisco, it
goes to the subtreasury located
IN the city and deposits $1,000,
600 of gold certificates and
then a telegram is sent to San
Francisco certifying to that
the bank at San Francisco is
given a credit at the subtreas.
ury there for that amount. The
gold that has been Shipped"
has all the time been lying in
the treasury vaults at Wash.
ington.
Hartley Qowa) Journal: The
ability of always seeing the
oright sloe or shining up the
dark one is a blessing to the
person who possesses the power
as we'll as to those with whom
ne has to be. 1t changes our
daily struggle in the perform
ance of duty into playing the
joyful game of life. Instead
OF the home being a place OF
grumbling and growing it be.
comes a place of laughter and
songs. Wrinkles will not come
SO soon upon your fair counter.
ance. To live daily with sun
beams flowing from the heart
is a trick that may be learned
by everyone with a little
patience, determination and
daily pratice.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28
the lady clerk to show hin

the lady clerk to show him
some.
"What bust" asked she.
The farmer looked around
quickly and answered: Il don't
know; l didn't hear. any hing"
Elmdale On His Travels.
Hallowell, Kan.
Dec. 81, 1911.
Welt here / am almost where
the cotton grows Let me tell
about the trip first then the
country. l started from the
Union Depot in Council Bluffs,
Tuesday at 4:50 p. m. The
train got behind ore hour on
account of so much travel |
guess but the F,isko train was
waiting, so didn't loose much
time making the change. As
it was mid night ! did not see
much of Kansas City, only tire
lights made it appear quite
large. Had a nice chair cor
and only one seat vacant and I
filled that to perfection. I
couldn't sleep for two crying
babies and just ahead were two
men they talked all night. but
that didn't bother me. When
we go 10 Fort Scott had to
change cars to a second class
car with hardly any lights. 1t
made me think of the time [
went to Chicago, several years
ago. ! guess | must tell it.
| was living in Nebr. then
and had a great desire to pr
h ,me on a stock train free. S,
[ told the cattle shipper whe n
he shipped two cars again 10
let me go ard he said he would.
| started with two cars about
z p. m. and got in Lincoln al 8
p. m, 1t was raining and dark
as pitch Had to ask everybody
| saw where nv cabose was, and
| finely found it about J mi e
away. How happy was when
l was in it. The next stcppir g
lplace was at Clinton, unloaded,
waited till dark before we
started, and finely we got to
going again. About mid nigl t
o he of the men that was use to
travelling SAID to me, NOW thew
will have to make a fl, in !.
switch and we will have 10
climb to the top of the box car
when it is going and lay down
fiat so as not to fall off and
wait till they bump another car
on the train then we climb
down and we will be alright. I"
My, how dark it was climbing
on that car, but up | went and
stayed there till the car came
| became tired of my trip and
never tried that again. Nov
every thing is different, the
stock is fed and watered on the
cars. In my next l will de-
scribe the country, what it is
good for and etc
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28
Fere. of habit.

The professional humorist found
l,in.self in IN open field with mad
ASA ct his heels He was running for
ia. fence.
Shall make i,:" he asked himself.
1iien thought occurred TO him.
II guess it's about tossup." he
nuttcre2.
AS he paused to make note on his
cuff the Inevitable happened. New
York Times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28
Gossip.

II wonder why gossip travels so
FAST
because the tongues which carry II
are always W the rail. Baltimore
American.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28
Wanted Som. Praise Too.

Wanted Some Praise Too.
Tourist Ito his landiady)-How love,
~ Il Is lere-the green trees in the
valley through which the stream g!is.
tens: fl the background the mountains
and over all the blue sky Landlady
III IN. but you don't say anytime
about the veal pie and the coffee
made you.-Fliesende Blattcr.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28


Coon Rapids Enterprise:
The last census report on Iowa
farms discloses the rather re-
markable fact that Iowa farms
are growing larger, a tendency
to conso idate farms as we'll as
other businesses. Farms which
ten years ago were classed
among those of between TWEEN.
ty and ninety nine acres have
decreased 1850; those in the
It's to 500 a.ss irm class have
increas I'd 3,4ll in number.
Even the small truck patches
Of from one to five acres have
lost materially in number. Is
there to be big business in
farming in the future as in the
mercantile lines at present?
If 81, farm hands and renters
will become more and more
numerous. Where is big bust
ness to stop? Even newspa-
pers are being syndica.ed.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28
Cutie Different.

II suppose, his VIZ. Is the most care
less honsekceper in town"
Poor fellow
".And she has hair million in her
own right"
IAN. that's different = Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28

The less heart man puts into /,
4ask the nlore labor I. requires
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28

One On Father.
"Do nuts grow on trees,
Father asked Charley as he
was eating the Christmas
d .ssart.
"rhey d., my SON.
Vel, han, on what tree
does the doughnnt grow?"
Children Cry
FOR FLETCHER'S
Gas . RIA
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1911-12-28

OUT not OF your JOD, am your
wiley old doc.
Giffore Pinchot to r A. Ball
niger
Dear Dick: Can't you come
and eat Christmas dinner with
me? | have cooked a nice
goose for you. Nothing would
give me greater pleasure than
to sit down with YOU at the fes.
tive board and talk over the
days when we ste 4 shoulder to
shoulder in the o at fight for
a free Ala lla. ,lr raw work
is done. That sounds like a
paradox. What mean is,
your work in the raw, cold
winds of Alaska is over, and
the fact should be celebrated in
som ay.-Kansas City Star.
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13

One of the most difica'. problems of the home is how to manage head strong, wilfui daughter. Many another losses uneasily on her pillow at night wondering how she will keep Marjorie within bounds. or correct some of her bad habits. She has tried all sorts of methods. but Marjorie only seems to slip farther and farther beyond her control. The poor mother feels al most helpless and hopeless She Fnows something must be done or Marjorie may make a smash of her life, Yet an almost agonized study Of the prob lem brings no solution.
 It is of no use 10 tell the wother that the child's management should have begun in the cradle. No doubt the mother realizes now that if she had nipped Marjorie's wilful- ness when it first showed itself. there would be no wilfulness in later years to cope with But this is another story. The wilfulness is here. grown to monstrous size. What now can be done with it?
 7 When a young girl Is headstrong. when she does things tc which her parents object. little is gained bs scolding her or by forbidcing her to do these things. Such course is apt 10 arouse only a spirit or opposition, to antagonize perhaps to make the daughter sullen. openly defiant or secretly disobedient She feels that her parents are her enemies 10 be hattled witaai Ray way by which she may tFilimph. No worse thing could happen tsant that parents and Laughter should be. linus ranged on opposite sides
 Sometimes. too. right and wrong are placed before girl in such a light that to be good seems to be namby -pamty and out of date She does not want to be -goody goody. Going to heaven when she dies does not have any particular attraction for her Sitting with a crown on her head and harp in her hand she probably thinks would be exeesdingly dull work At any rate, dying ssy she hopes, a long way off. and the allur- ing present, with its good tines Very much at hand. So she chooses, the one and lets the other take care of itself. to many a virtuous mothers horror. She smokes. drinks cocktails. seeks places of amusement and assc- ciates she shouldn't All of which is bad for her and will not give her in the end the happiest life. But to try to turn such a girl from these things on the plea of right and wrong will |. be dificult-
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13
6-.%A-~ -aT~

by the Associated Press to the Douglas Dispatch. Yet the follow ing is what the Douglas paper print ed. under the head of 'Washingto1 rumor of denial by Hitchcock:
 WASHINGTON. D. C.. Jan.
 11.-It was reported here tonight
 that Postmaster General Hitch
 cock, when informed he had
 been quoted as having said that
 President Taft said he would not
 approve the ArizonaT constitu-
 ton, said he had never said
 anything to the president about
 the constitution. This report
 could not be verified tonight"
 It is plain enough that the dis patch was "doctored" in the Doug las newspaper office by the addition of It was reported here tonight. and This report could not be yer fled tonight" In this way, a pos itive statement coming straight from Hitchcock was changed to appear as a. mere rumor started by some unknown or irresponsible person.
 Thus does the Douglas Dispatch convict itself as a news faker, when it thinks the ends Of rank par tisanship are being served. r would deceive CT try to deceive its readers, and in doing so illustrates once more that an organ cannot be newspaper to save it's life.
 The Review prints the news just as it comes. though the heavens fall, and this policy never will be departed from. It makes no differ ence what the editor thinks or says in the editorial columns. when it comes to printing news. Tn, news department of this paper be longs to our subscribers. and is con ducted as a sacred trust in theii behalf. Naturally the reople O coehise county depend upon th, Review for a truthful presentation Of statehood news and comment and they will not be disappointed
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13

that he would disapprove the Ari- zona constitution. Yesterday Judge sames told the Review that he did not use the exact words attributed in the interview which reported a situation stronger than any words of his would justify.
 Now, ''by cracky" here is another muddie of the statehood situation, though the preponderance of evi- dence coming from Washington goes to prove that the Arizona constitu- tion will meet defeat in that citadel of power
 The Sames interview violated the well known rule. understood and observed by newspaper correspond ents in Washington, that the presi- dent must not be quoted and we attribute the observance Of this rule as being responsible for the statement of Postmaster General Hitchcock regarding his reported statement NIT Hitchcock simply says that he has never discussed Arizona's constitution with the president. It might be that Mir
 Hitchcock was present and heard the president talking to Governor Sloan or some other person about Arizona's constitution.
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13
Little Problems. of The Home.
WIful Daughters.

Few young girls are 30 hardened that they will not respond to love and a genuine sympathetic interest in their affairs. Iastead of mother's ranging herself in opposition to her daughter or of seoldiLS. upcTas1ils or ordering her to stop doing ceT, -in things. let her go over to the g,Tis side Instead of forbiddias her to smoke cigarettes because it is wrcnS. let her drop the moral side of the question and appeal to the girls coG. mon sense. With such girls it is bet ter to get of of a high ethical plat form which they care nothing a5out and come down to such matter-of- fact things as to how these ha5-ts will affect her complexion. When girl realizes that you are quite as much interested in her futur. right here on earth. as you are in her heavenly career. she'll listen to you
 Go over the ground with her in a loving. but common sense. way. Show her particularly what her bad habits, whatever they may be, mean 10 her looks. to her manners. that these re- suits, in turn, will cut her of from the incest associates and cause her te be less happily married. Picture what happy marriage and a happy home may be hers with the right sort of people. and whAt an uuha23g.s discordant home is hers with t=c wrong sort of associates When ihis is done lovingly, and at the saLls time in a practical. cotnnlonsense sort Of way that appeals to her own st.vd sense and judgment. few are the young girls whc-x8ll not respond.
 Let the mother range herself cn the girls side. appear to see with her daughters eyes. yet 7dipi0TnatiSaiiy point out things the daughter does not see. Let her lead without sppesr- ing 10 lead Let her suggest toat they go here. or do thai or have So. and So for visit Let her surround her daughter with the right infu- ences. without. however, making any fuss about it: let her give her daugh- ter a good time with the right sort of people and the right environment. and few will be the girls who will not respond to such loving interest. or who will not see for themselves the difference between the good and the bad. and that the good holds the most in life for them Many a giri can be lead. if she does not see the leading strings, who never can be driven.
 34-%~-~ -A1~
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13
REVIEW A NEWSPAPER, NOT AN ORGAN.

Notning could more clearly il. lustrate the difference between a newspaper and an organ than the way the Hitchcock denial was handled by the county papers yes terday. The Associated Press sent cut a dispatch from Washington which appeared in the Review and it read as follows:
 WASHINGTON JAN. H.
 Postmaster General Hitchcock
 today, when informed that he
 had been quoted as having sad
 that Taft said he would not
 approve the Arizona constitu-
 ton, said he had never said any thing to Taft about the const-
 tntion."
 The above is exactly as it came over the wires. without the change of dot or a letter It is tue same thing, exactly, as was sent
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13

Say goodbye to your corns the very first time you use TIE. You will never know you have a corr, bunion or eallous. or sweaty, tired, swollen aching feet any more. It's just wonderful the way the pain vanishes. Rub the corn-hammer il with your fist if you wish-no more pain after TIE than if there had never been a blemish on your feet. Doesn't that sound good to yoG2 Doesn't it2 Then read this.
 'The corns on either of my toes were as large as the tablets you make to cure them. Today there Is no sign of corns on. either foot and no soreness. iits an up-to-date sojse end.-sam a Hoover, Progress. N. c.
 .s Just use TIE. It's not like any thing else for the purpose yoa ever heard of It's the only. foot remedy ever made which acts on the principal of drawing orR all the poisonous exudations wnidh cause sore feet Powders and oeher rem edies merely clog mp the pores. TlZ cleans them out and keeps them clean. It works right of. You will feel better the very first time it's used Use it week and you can forget you ever had sore feet. There is nothing on earth that can compare with it. TIZ is for sale ct all druggists. g cents per box, or direct. if you wish, from Walter Luther Dodge & Co, Chicago. III.
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13
APT TO GET NONE.
CNugaies oasis).

Five years ago the Oasis supported jointure with New Mexico because it believed in good faith that an Ari- zona twice the present size would be better for the people of the two territories than to have two states. But the people of Arizona would not listen to the proposition. They re- jected it by eighty-five per cent of the total vote. ii
 In like good faith and oni grounds that the Oasis considers we'll taken this journal now opposes the con ,titution presented to- the people of Arizona First the Oasis believes congress will not accept this con
 titution and secondly it believes that the instrument will not work
 he best results if 1t is accepted.
 But it is ike talking against a cyclone to argue against adoption of the proposed fundamental law. The people of Arizona will adopt it by about the same vote they re- jected joint statehood.
 Those opposed 10 the instrument who are arguing that statehood is the paramount issue are in error. The people of Arizona want state hood; but their own particular brand Tor none at all All they are apt Ito get is none at all
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13
EXCITED AND "BETRAYED."

The organization which names it. self the Cochise County Statehood league seems to be unduly eX- cited because of what they call a betrayal of the democratic psr- ty by the demo&atic press of the county. This league announcess that it is non-partisan; this is very right and propery as every citizen of the territory, be he dem ocrat, republican or socialist should. be conceded the right .to pursue. the course which he believes will do the most for the accomplish ment of statehood. Bus the local league gets its wires badly crossed in its non-partisanship when it assumes to make the dec.aration that tse democratic raTty has been betrayed by democratic newspapers which refuse to be counted as being responsible for the sacrifice of our statehood hopes.
 There seems 10 be little doubt about majority of the people of Arizona voting for the ratification of the constitution. Had the pro- position for the recall of the judi ciary been left out of this docu- ment the vote for it would be practically unanimous.
 But the recall Of the judiciary was forced into the constitution against ihe advice of republicans and dem ocrats, both radical and conservative. and now it would seem that what Arizona needs in the way of a statehood league Is an organization Of men to go to Washington, after. the ratification of the constitution. to persuade the president and con. gress to approve it.
 The Cochise county league has subscribed a fund to provide fifty copies of a republican newspaper published in Phoenix for circuia- ton in Bisbee. Whenever this re- publican newspaper succeeds in get ting even one foot in the admins traitor feed trough the Bisbee state hood league. composed of democrats, will he crying out for the. local democratic press to save them from the assaults of this same republican newspaper,
 It was this same republican news paper that sIapdered the democrats in 1908 and shouted loudest the cry of ~camefcn and stateLocd' ard it may te depended upon for jls. s'ch assaalts on the demo. asy
 2 the future whenever the political brOVehder is placed within it's reach
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13
WIRES CROSSED SOMEWHERE.

Douglas republican paper. O: yesterday. the the afternoon paper in Bisbee. of Wednesday. published what pirported to be an interview with Albert M. sames. chairman Of the territorial republican com mittee, who has just returned to Arizona from a trip to the east, including Washington In this in- teIyiew Mir Sanes quotes Post master General Hitchcock as say
 ing that President Taft told him
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13
THe eAzgTTE ~sUTTs IN.n

fi utSpu oidI Ij-
 Douglas has made a bold bid for the next mining congress. and be cause of its great mining and smeIt- Ing interests t was generally con ceded that there would be no opDp- sition to the movement. Later a re- port was circulated that Phoenix was also in the field This was at once denied. but the rumors would not down and now as the time for selecting the place approaches the Phoenix Gazette announces the most 'cogentsreasons why that City should be the logical place for the meeting. |" This was to be expected at any time, hence occasions no surprise. The surprise would have been had it been otherwise. It is not believed, howeved, that the preteHtions put forward by the Capital City are talk en seriously.
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13

Charles walron has been engaged as leading man in Judith Zaraine.r Q play in which. it has been announc- ed. Lena AshweH and Wilton Lack aye will be co-stars during the com ing season.
Bisbee daily review., 1911-01-13

Uncle Joe Cennon has demonstrat- ed that he can come back and was sustained in the house on Mon day on the very same question which caused his roa5 during the first ses- sion of the present congress.