The Washington bee., 1911-09-16
Public Men And Thinps
(By the Sage of the Potomac.

fleet and the torpedo hOt1lIa haSn
J been on a practice cruise for a few
!weeks You know the mosquito fleet
usually cruises over You Street and
lup Fourteenth Street and predicts
that this man or that man will soon
be let out. And the torpedo tiotIlla
cruises over the same course and
hres on these men, but we observe
that the torpedo flotilla never gets
the range, and the mosquito feet IS
made up OF such small vessels that
they draw only enough water to float
them on canal Just before | hied
meselt to the gay village of Allan
TIC City, 1 heard much talk about
the mosquito fleet going to defeat
somebody, and OF the torpedo fiotilla
going to ram somebody When |
got back the talk had died down, and
nobody had been sunk by the mos
quito ships and nobody had been
rammed by the torpedo boats This
reminds me of what Darwin once
SAID: he monkey characteristics
cling to the more recent human de
lscendants of the ape family" But
am glad TO learn that firing has ceas-
ed, and that after the smoke had died
laway we could still see the flag wav-
ing from the ramparts.
And speaking about ramparts, ev-
cry time l see Lewis Johnson ad-
dressing the Y. NJ. c. A. audience I
am always reminded of a flag on the
Iramparts. Lewis is so chuck full of
ginger that he's efferVescent, and lust
rattles away, conspicuous by his voice
and gestures Pretty likely chap,
ttD, 1a+ no
whole heap for this Y NJ. c. A., and
if 1t had not been for him that new
building would still be but the essence
of a dream, and that's mighty little
Did you ever see Lewis when he was
Ispeaking and really warmed up? Well
if you haven't, just think of the work
/ ing of a piston rod on a steam engine
that is running 90 miles an hour, and
lyou have some idea of how Lewis
works. And he's a rattling good
talker, too. Hardly ever goes up into
, the clouds to chase the eagles from
their mountain nests, and never tries
to squat on Dr. Vernon's everglades
down in Florida, and | never saw
him trying to brutally murder an
b lapOstrophe. He just stays down
close to the ground where you and
| live. You know these fellows who
take an aeroplane flight often get so
mixed up with Mr. Grammar that
they make fatal dips downward
Il Lewis is an athlete tOo-in for all
kind Of athletics. As a tennis player
however, he's an accident. | mean
by that that he sometimes cleans up
} on all these technical players with
+ out them or he knowing how and
, why he did it. He's full OF enthusi-
Iasm, just bubbling over with it, and
the fact that he has so much of il
2 must be attributed his success here
, Lewis does everything by system
-, He's awfully method Regard hin
from any angle and he's the goods
4 =
Have you called on Dr. Davidson
t iyet? Huh? You say you amt.
T Then that must mean you are some
: body, because all the nobodies have
l called and told him how to run tht
schools | was down the other day
D with friend to pay my respects
q Just before | was ushered into tn,
Iaugust presence of the new superin
" Itendent, | overheard two very wis
+. guys in his office telling him jus
5 what he ought to do. Now one fel
+ low who was giving him a couple O
: tons of advice is a heavy taxpayer
u He pays taxes on his landlords prop
:, erty at the rate of so much rent pc
: menth. He told the superintendent
# that he ought to remove certain peO
=. Iple, and called them by name Th
: superintendent listened, but said moth
Iing-he's good listener. The
there was another member of til
mosquito fleet who never had chill
in his life that he dared to claim, VIII
: called and told DR.. Davidson just eX
c aCtly how to run the schools for tn
d benefit of "our children" Well
know he amt in on none of my chill
dren, because | amt got any, an
know that he is not likely to be i
on anybody's children from this tim
lon. But as aE advisor he's go
Chase looking like a perforated Chi
nese coin in d pawnshop. | CUES
DR. Davidson thinks with all thl
Il bunch of advisors around here tn
\ President and Congress ought to &c
/ along easy.
My wife tells me that the women:
skirts will be little wider this fal
Il Well, they ought to be. | am so tire
II Of seeing women going around wit
Ii skirts about as wide as one leg of
Il mans trousers that | don't knO'
H what to do | saw a friend of m
/ wife's the other day who had on
/ skirt that was just about as wide d
Il my trousers, and around up wher
Il she is supposed TO sit it looked to m
4 that 1t was even narrower. And "
lwhen a fellow turns around and rul
4 lhers at some of these shemales with
j form-showing skirt, just because
= certainly looks good to him, she Wi
turn around and saucily say: "YC
he lmpudent thing, stare!" One ever
H. Iing / got home and found my wi
rd with one of them on. Now my wi
C Hooks like a dumping She's a f
little rascal like Jelly fish. When
got in the house, she came up, al
said: Dear, what do you think
he my new dress?" I looked at he
nd looked at it, and then pondered. II
ee dress was so tight that her abdome
in hips, and that part of her anaton
Mt just opposite the abdomen look'
IL like they had been crushed INTO