The Marshall republican., 1911-09-28
Press Clippings

metropolitan: "What're We com
in home with your milk pail emf
PITY for7" demanded the farmer,
didn't tn old COW give anything7"
yes, replied his chore boy "nine
quarts and one kick"
Delineator: A crowd of small !
children we're playing street car,
and one youngster gave the follow
ing order: "All you children get on
your mothers laps, SO you won't
have to pay; here comes the com
ductor"
"The nan who figures IL that
the whole christian religion is go
ing TO the damnation bow WOW be
cause one preacher went wrong.
was just in" says a Benton county
editor "He still owes a back sub
scription, too"
Indinapalois Press: ats been
four years now said the deserted
woman, "since he left me and his
happy home I remember Just as
well as yesterday-how he stood
at the door, holding II open till
six flies got In the housen
When Lottie returned from her
first visit to Sunday school, she was
asked what she had learned, says
Lippincott's Magazine "God made
the world In six days and was ar
rested on the seventh day." was
her version OF the lesson impaired
The Rich Hill Review wants the
news while IL still is news and In
nm announcement to that effect Il
says "f your wife has a baby
or your daughters get married, or
there Is any other kind OF sickness
In the neighborhood let us know
The most popular feature OF the
menu for dinner had been soup, OF
which the little girl had partkae
heartily "Dear me, she sighed as
she went on with other things
"pve eaten so much soup that every
time | swallow n piece OF bread I
can hear Il splash"
just as a young newspaper man
In Kansas was learning the trade
he made the acquaintance OF n min
ister's daughter and waited upon
her Soon after he attended her
fathers church and here Is the text
which he heard; any daughter is
grievously tormented with n devil"
Unionville Republican: A fellow
named o He'll asked the circuit
court In New York to change his
name TO Hill as he expected to
ter the candy business and didn't
want TO say, "Go to He'll for your
candy" The court being able to
appreciate the situation will grant
the request
Housewife: Tommy came out OF
a room In which his father was
lacking down carpet He was cry
ing Justify "why, Tommy, what's
the matter9" asked his mother
"R-p-p-papa, hit his finger with
the hammer" sobbed Tommy
"Well, you needn't cry at a thing
like that" comforted the mother
"why didn't you faugh9" ~ did"
sobbed Tommy, disconsolate
On August 8, 1911, this swami
ad" appeared In the SIP ringfield
Republican; "Wanted-To marry
a girl OF good family between the
age OF IS and IS. Call or write,
Mike Kotowitz, Colonial Hotel,
room 22S." In the Republicans
record OF marriage licenses issued
In Springfield September 1 there
appeared this one: "Michael Koto-
WITT, "a. city; May Kegley, IS, Ash
Grove, Mo-" Yep, We wer think
ing of the same thing. II sure
do pay to advertise.
A yellow negro in Kansas City
decided that by b~arbering in the
day time and fighting at night he
could easily attain to great wealth
His first essay in pugilism was
against a shifty black with a good
ring record. At the tap OF the bell
the black professional planted a
straight left ON the amateurs nose
and repeated the process some
hundred times. By a s%uperhumar
effort the yellow barber came to
a clinch, and his voice rang high
in agonized protest. 'Scattah 20
blows, niggahr he demanded. "Fo
GaWd,a sake. scattah No' bloWs.n-