The Columbus journal., 1911-02-01
A GREAT INVENTION.

A GREAT INVENTION.
A London periodical pablAhed IN
account of . newly invented machine
which measures the character of IN
individual with perfect accuracy. 1t
tells whether his thought processes are
clear or his morals muddy. Ofcourse
there is always to be borne in mind
the first paragraph in the rabbit pie
recipe, which relates to the imperative
importance of catching your rabbit.
Many persons conscious Of . decidedly
bad character and under no obligation
to be examined, might shy At investiga'
ton. But the machine should prove
of great value in both politics and
business. 1t is possible to arrive at
conclusions rs to whether the subject
under investigation is . person who
has fixed ideas founded on sentiment
rather than reason, ae, for illustration,
. vegetarian or IN anti-vaccinator.
The difference between an uncon6ned
lunatic and q sane man can be 1t once
discovered. There appears to be no
difficulty in distinguishing between .
pillar of church and . looter of trust
estates even when, as it often happens,
the two are corporeally one.
When the marvellous mechanical
device is put upon the market We shall
no longer have to listen to the stump
speaker who challenges his basket cal
umniator to show that he has ever
committed an evil act or harbored the
slightest affection for a career Of tur-
pitude. We shall measure up all ap.
plicants for appointive Office and as
piration for elective office, and put the
lid upon the ambitions of those who are
proven to be fellows of the baser sort
and fall into the class composed of
horse thieves, burglars, short change
men, footpads and other pariahs.
This should greatly simplify our poll
teal problems. Something of the kind
has been long and urgently needed.
We have had enough Of political ma
chimes. Now for a machine to meas
ure the politician and brand him pat
riot or pilferer a. the case may be!
1t will also save no end of money
for the trusting depositor to strap down
the bank officers and turn the machine
loose upon them, cranked up for an
exhaustive and candid report. The
failure of the expert accountant to find
the thief before his picture and the e.
innate ofhis POPULATIONS have appeared
on the front pages Of the newspapers
is notorious. The tragical results Of
the inability Of their tribe to find out
anything till after the wreck of the
bank have been felt in countless homes,
and observed universally. The char
acter.reading machine should tell at
once whether the cashier is speculating
in stock with the funds fthe innocents
or thinking of retiring from business
informally with the major portion of
the portable contents of the vault.
And consider the great benefit to
municipal treasures and city taxpay-
ers when the machine with the az
ray powers of discernmeDt can be
turned upon the members of the mu-
nicipal legislative body to ascertain
whether they are more interested in
civic welfare or jackpots and whether
they look upon their Offices as public
trusts or private snaps.
The story Of the invention sounds q
good deal too good to be true. but truth
is often stranger than fiction. Upon
rare occasions it is even more pleas.
ing.-Louisville Courier-Journal.