davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening world., 1911-04-01

fc4te. ! Al luu want 10 give me my III
full name II IN O~wgoOst!'
Not G%ustavus? Not even the Saxon,
or shall we say the Germanic. Gus
tave?" asked MI. Jarr, Were you never
called Gustave when a boyT'
My grossmutter she called me Gus
Sic when | was a little Teller, admitted
Gus sheepishly. Some day ! show you
a plcter what wa. took of me when !
was a little Teller. ! got my hair all ~
ike a rolypoly. Hxed nice NIT soar
because Il was ye'lcr. | bet YOU such q
fine smart little Teller | was; und my
how | would kick my grossmutter In tho
shins when she took me 20 the Zoochoo'
l~oglcan Gardens
'"ro the what" asked Mr.. Jarr.
ITO the ~Zoochoologican Gardens, where
the animals what Carl Hagenbeck used
to shoot IN Africa and didn't kill and
brought 20 Berlin was" explained Cue
oh. Geological Gardens corrected
Mr.. Jarr.
sure amt Il what 7 soldT" replied
Gus, II used 20 kick my grossmutter he
cause 7 loved 10 so TO the Hoochoologi
can Gardens, because l enchoycd It 81
from the monkeys"
Prom tho moukcvs9' repeated Mr.
Jirr.
For his peep into the childhood Of th'
usually reticent Gus was an intimate
revelation that Interested him greatly.
The evening world., 1911-04-01
Mr.. Jarr Encounter a Poe Whose Only
Sorrow Is That He Cannot Write Poetry

ut wouldn't rhyme them" said MI.
Jarr. spoil II, altogether"
There IL goes said Gus. feelingly.
Every time l get something It amt no
good. Poetry that is written for me II
FOR somebody else. | always liked po-
etry; that's why l was always sorry ]
amt a shoemaker"
What has a business got to do with
poetry" asked Mr.. Jarr.
ITS got a lot TO do with some bust
ness" said Gus. with some other bust
ness 1t amt got anything. Look. now.
Is there any poetry in the saloon busi-
ness No, there amt none"
Mr.. Jarr was going to speak. but Gus
waved his hands.
II know. what you going to say he
interrupted. "A Camel Can Go Ei9h;
Days Mitout a Drink. But No Camels
Is Coming Into My Place But thai
ain't poetry. It's a smart thing, undr
YOU gets a buckle with Laughter out O,
1t. and so is that about Treat Or Travel
' II the yum what has It about One o,
The evening world., 1911-04-01

NY Customers Says I'll Pay You Next
Time l See You'-He Is Blind. And
another says I'll Pay You Saturday Il
| L've'-He's Dead
Yes, yes. | know" said Mr.. Jarr: but
where Is there any poetry in shoe
making"
Wasn't Hans Sachs. the Meis,er-
singer Won Nurnberg a shoemaker"
asked Gus. sure. they all write poetry.
why. | used to stand in front Of a shoe
makers shop in Hoboken when / was a
G~reenhorn, chust landed. and learned
poetry IN English"
What was the poetry" asked Mr..
Jarr.
Gus cast about in his memory a mo-
ment and then recitcd without pause or
punctuation:
Here is n man vot won't refuse
To make or mend your boots or shoes
His work. i good his price Is just
But times * hard he cannot trust"
l We'll. tits idle to bewail the fact that
b~artendery and balladry so not to
gether." said Mr.. Jarr. Have a cigar,
It's a fine one the boss gave me-"
Gus surveyed It critically. Yes, II
looks fne," he said. ats got a swell
bapdage around It,"
The evening world., 1911-04-01

'.sure!' said Gus. with a earaway look.
as II his mind was back forty years
agone. Sure. ! wanted to have n mon
key to take home because I didn't
have no other little brother or sister.
YOU know. But, by gollies, Chere Gus's
face liz up with n smileD I used to hol-
Ter und choke ind kick und bite for n
little monkey brother. bu; | don't can
have one. ! guess I max enough mon
keyshincs myself then. WHAT"
1t reminds me OF the alphabet
rhyme" said Mr.. Jarr.
&c. was for bad little Gustave,
Who said that a monkey he must have
But his folks they said Not"
For they thought they had got
All the monkey they cared for in Gus
tave!"
NOW there Is the first time I ever
heard YOU saying something vot had
something in It Intelligence said Gus
gravely. Generally you talk ~insensible
WIN you write It down for me and
I change I, to say Chez Is for glad It'll.
owgoost?'"
The evening world., 1911-04-01


u tns Editor at The Evening world:
y reference to the great and pi,iful
~ disaster, ] should like to give a
9e&ls suggestion which might add TO
~ safety OF the employees OF the large
history buildings or this city. Don't
PC readers think that We girls who
Vork In factory buildings and struygl
~ our days labor should be protected
~ same as those who go to the thea
0O for enjoyment? II "a fireman or two
we're placed on duty In all the factories,
b same as In theatres. they certainly
would know how to handle the fire APP
passtus In case or danger. and this
might have saved the heart-breaklnc In
0Aay a home to-day. HARRIET.
As To Prescriptions.
"a. Ehtor d The Evening World:
wish TO say In answer to go. G. F."
mo writes TO know about the doctors
ss4gtnal prescriptions no; being returned
- the person leaving them with the
1gOgg.st, that the druggists are legally
06itlsd TO the original prescription as a
0otsction in case a mistake is charged
a0tnst them. As the son and grandson
~vsu-known druggists for nifty years
oI0sooklya wish to state that doct9rs
The evening world., 1911-04-01
Letters From the Peonle

90 not always write correctly. Many
tmes | have seen my grandfather and
'ather call doctors up and have them
correct the prescriptions when the IN
gradients, called FOR as a pill. would
make a solution or a sdlve inst cad OF A
mas Also doctors make mistakes. like
an humans, ana sometimes Srescribe
oNcrdoses that prove fatal, and what
nance would a druggist have with an
evll.y inclined person who might swear
that a mistake had been made, unless
hc had the original prescription to back
him up None All any customer has
TO do Is 10 ask for a copy OF the pre-
scripuon. and It IL instantly given.
Legally the original prescription be-
longs 20 the compromising chemist, but
tho buyer OF the compound can have as
many copies as he chooses.
5. c. LLOYD.
Triuny.
n ne Editor - The Evening World,
on what day % the week ala June e,
1891, fa,? X. Mem.
In Tho world Almanac.
To The Etitor % The Eveulns World
Where can ! fnd a list Of the diheren'
nations b%attleships1 RUBLIC.
The evening world., 1911-04-01
II e dIseviIle
E q j t O r
" John Il. 40 oo.i

LEcE HENDERSON SAYS he never
ng MS because the men which ought
t. he whipped amt WORTH the trouble.
WHEN n fellcr reads over an old re-
w jectcd manuscript Ne feels like
seudlu' the editor a cheek for not pub
lishln' II.
L IKE REYNOLDS says that David
L. Craum IS the kind OF q man that
the caunibals would class as an adult
tcration.
MISS rAFAuM says tat she hasn't
WI any moro confidence IN married
mon than g she had worked as a tele-
phone operator,
IT men smoke 20 rest their brains Il Is
! easy 70 soc why there 10 such a big
sale for little o4SNEA
The evening world., 1911-04-01
Senate Records.

"HOMAS II. BENTON'S thirty
years Of continuous service In tho
United states Senate, which ended
March 3, 1851, he'd the record IN that
respect until justin 9. Mn-r,l y. Yer,
mont entered upo1 his th'r;"-drs, year
on March I, 1891, Morr!ll sc-ych tS.rty.
two and one-I1,f ears ~,.nuausly.
John sherman served ta,:'y-tr y yeur.
broken by foU' wears in ti,rcs's Car
met. Allison % Iowa scr:oI th.r;y.h
years. which is now the record Tor q :.
tinuoO service in the Senate.
The evening world., 1911-04-01

Charles +. Murply
a wallop the ech-
oes OF which Will
ring down the corr
ridors OF pol!,ical
history in this
state for crany
years TO come"
'Mr. Murphy has
certainly ente r
,a.ned n mighty
swat replied the
laundryinan. lie
had his W rea-
son for cttn q
The evening world., 1911-04-01

corner. by Chlm!-
netty | amt seen
YOU for a long
time
Don't ask me.
Il seems a and
years X since
last beheld h e
x o o q Gustavus,''
said Mr.. JarT.
Now there you
go cried Gus pee
vishly. why can
YOU be n sensible
The evening world., 1911-04-01
The One Best Bet.

ECI SUPPOSE" said tho head -
isher, 'thst II You were causht
in a fire panic you would re-
main calm"
II might remain calm" said the laun-
dryman, but l woulln'. remain in the
vicinity"
The evening world., 1911-04-01
The Weeks Wash.
By Martin Green.

an impression prevails in Albany that
the passage OF mazuma from one 10 an
other tone being a member OF the Leg
ls,ature, womb probably result IN court
proceedings OF a painful nature"
The evening world., 1911-04-01

IL appears that corporations, not content with absorbing all
Usfnl and necessary businesses of life, and even those Of all luxuries
I'm theatres to the hatracks Of cafes and restaurants, have now
Ngun to pick the plums Of orchards that LAWYERS look unon DC III,
peculiar property of their profession.
Corporations have no right to practice law. but they bovo or
imputed right TO hlre lawyers. Have they also a right to hire
. 1swyer o serve their patrons? The issue is not n pleasantly
oAnon dollar litigation trust would be a thing to make LAWYERS start
. union and apply for admission to the federation at once.
The evening world., 1911-04-01

taHHcu rTom a perusal OF the
Jokes given herewith. which are taken
from n volume entitled "Asteia." whose
authorship Is commonly attributed to
'Hierocles, lie was a Ne~oplatonlc writer,
and devoted his attention 20 philosophy.
But whether the "Astela" are his or an
others, they serve to show that the
Joke which won a laugh in the vaude-
willie houses OF He|rculanoum might-and
In some cases does-serve the same end
in this enlightened age.
Here are the aged jests:
/ young man, meeting an acquaint-
ance. said, = heard that you were
dead" but said the other. you see
me alive" Il do not know how that
may be- replied the FIRST. you are a
son OF credit"
2 \ man wrote 10 a friend in Greece.
begging him to purchase cooks, From
negligence or avarlce he neglected 10
execute the commission; but. fearing
that his correspondent might be offend
ed, no exclaimed when mex they met
My dear friend l never got the letter
you wrote 20 me about the books"
3, \ robust countryman, meeting q
physician. ran to hide behind a wall. Re-
ing askel the cause he replied 1T is
so long since | have been sick that
am ashamed 10 look a physician in the
face"
4 A man. hearing that a raven would
live ~" hundred years. housh, ore 20
try,
g. \ foolish fellow, having a house e
sell, took a brick from the wall to ex'
Whit as a sample,
6 A man, meeting a friend, said' go
spoke 20 you last night In a dream
Pardon me-" replied the other" y di'
not hear you,
The evening world., 1911-04-01
A NEW ONE.

Y the New York County Lawyers Association Mt
tho annual meeting there was adopted a resolu-
ton: 'Thst the committee on discipline of the
association be directed to inquire into the practice
OF corporations undertaking to conduct litigation
for Others, and to report what steps il any should be
taken for the enforcement ~ tbo louv
The evening world., 1911-04-01

VI tho programme thus outlined it may be said the principlc
> Hght, but the method is wrong. The people do wish TO be Let
0oos. They wish to be no longer annoyed and robbed by tariff
0sctions on food and clothing and all other nccessarics Of Tfo
1nsy wish relief from unjust taxation. That is what they roort
vnsn they voted the Democratic ticket last fall That i. what ,boy
Daan now. '
A complete revision Of the tariff is not expected. II cou,d rot
y accomplished while the Senate is Republican. but Democrocv
adsd BY progressive Republicans can and should do something 10
'Ps.i N worse iniqulties OF the 'measure. Reciprocity with Can
- will not be enough. Democracy must make n eror, ., ,n..
- give the people unta4ed food.
The evening world., 1911-04-01
BY Roy l.. MCCardell.

((VV yIiERE you was7" asked Gus.
M tho genial (sometimes) pro-
w prlctor Of the cafe on the
The evening world., 1911-04-01
Fixing the Blame.

66T HINK there 10 n chance OF
anybody being punished for
the loss OF life In the wash-
ing:on place d!sas.cr:' asked the head
nolisher.
Not to n degree 20 cause ANYBODY
implicated to Lose sleep" answered ~,
laundryman. 1T Is typical OF our toSur
OF government 20 old an Investigation
at every opportunity. Instead o, safe
guarding lives We have been largely en-.
The evening world., 1911-04-01
Mr.. SUFFERS PROGRAMME.

oNGRESSMAN SULZER, addressing the members
OF the Cotton Exchange at the Waldorf. said of
the coming session of Congress: "What the people
want is to be let alone. l think | can pledge
the New York delegation to opposition to any in
reference with business. The extra session sbould
The evening world., 1911-04-01

D was rain; that is the one thing in which it fell short of the aver
~ In everything else there was superiority.
The publication Of the detail Of these facts bv the Bureau shows
nj while its forecasts are dubious its records are accurate. This
20 'ustihes its existence and almost palliates its expenditures. We
- not know and it cannot tell us what awaits in the April days
enssd OF u.s. but it is some consolation to know on official authority
- have passed "the worst ever"
The evening world., 1911-04-01
DRUG FRAUD CASES.

ITH the arrest Of certain druggists charged with
unlawful practices in the sale of medicines the
Av0AS exposures made by The World begin to show
their value 10 the community. They are not
~ to pas away q . mere sensation in a nine days
49, talk. They are to serve al. a ba.i. for . genuine
campaign Of protection against all violators Of the
hv to the end that the public may DO protected hereafter against
NJ dangerous form Of commercial dishonesty.
A calamity like that which caused the death Of so many men
"a women in the fire Of the Asch Building is so appalling in its
0nrscter a. to shock and statle the whole community into horror,
- the silent, insidious death spread through the city by dishonest
dses administered as medicines passes unnoiced. 1t exdtes no
alarm. 1t srouses no fear. Yet it may kill more people than all
~ and accidents put together.
We are going to safeguard the worker in the workshop. We
snst also safeguard the invalid in the sickroom.
The evening world., 1911-04-01

minority In Albany" re-
marked tho mead ~rol.sher.
appear 10 have handed Nj.
The evening world., 1911-04-01

C O n f e 10 n
OF a Mere Man
BY Helen Rowland
5.-My Ideal Woman-and Every Mans.
Tgonseyibsd


READ somewhere a few days ago the horrible prediction that LOVE p ~
u Of fashion! Is this a threat or . promise! I cali . promise . dsDSAeen
sign of modern sanity.
The evening world., 1911-04-01
THE WORST EVER.

CCORD1NG to the Weather Bureau the month just
closed was the worst March on record. On one
occasion it crowded sunshine and rain and thun-
der and lightning and wind and hail into a single
day. On several other occasions it swung the Their
mometer up and down like n monkey on a stick.
VIVA 81 fhinn III ax.onAal II - .l .1- IA
The evening world., 1911-04-01
Each of These Jokes
Is 1900 Years Old

the nature OF humor has
not altered greatly In the past
fifteen centuries. says the
Scrap Book. may be ascer-
tainei from a p~rusal OF tho
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27
For Dyspepsia
You Risk Nothing by Trying This
Remedy.

We want every one troubled
with indigestion and dyspepsia
to come to our store and obtain a
box of Rexall Dyspepsia Tablets.
They contain Bismuth-Subni-
trate and Pepsin prepared by a
process which develops their
creates power to overcome de
gestive disturbance.
Rexall Dyspepsia Tablets are
very pleasant to take. They
sOOthe the irritable, weak stom-
ach, strengthen and invigorate
the digestive organs, relieve nau-
sea and indigestion, promote nu-
triton and bring about a feeling
of comfort.
If you give Rexall Dyspepsia
Tablets a reasonable trial we will
return your money if you are not
satisfied with the result. Three
sizes, IS cents, so cents and S1.0O.
Remember you can obtain Rexall
Remedies only at--The Rexall
Store. M. E. Reddy.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27
open to very serious question.

open to very serious question.
Nearly ninety-five per cent of
the children of these retired far
mers must earn their living with
their hands. There is seldom
anything in the teaching of these
high schools that will fit them
for the life on the farm, the fac
tory or the shop. AS a result,
many of them drift to town, be-
come street car conductors or
motormen, or work in livery
stables, happy if they can make
both ends meet, and often wish
ing they had never left the farm.
The girls, too, drift to town,
work in department stores and
in restaurants, exposed to fearful
temptations.
The farmer who thinks of NOV.
ing to town to give his children
a better education than he had
would do we'll to investigate the
matter pretty thoroughly, and
while doing so ask himself: Is
there not a better way? He
will probably reply: Would you
have my children depend on the
education they would receive in
a six or ten pupil school taught
by an inexperienced teacher?
Not by any means; but with live
stock and grain and land at pres
ent prices, there is no need what
ever for the existence of a school
of this kind.
The country can afford a first
class high school in the town.
ship better than the town can.
When land is worth a hundred
dollars an acre, the farmer can
very we'll afford to pay taxes for
a school in the country that will
fit his boys for farmers and his
daughters for home-makers, or
in fact anything else. These
will give their sons and daugh-
tiers a better education for farm
life than either city or town can
furnish, and make the farm the
best of all places to rear a family.
-Wallace's Farmer.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27
Picnic Postponed.

On account of the dedication OF
the Baptist church at Pleasant
view, but everybody is welcome
to come to the picnic May 21st.
at VIM. Brugger's place on Will
low creek, one mile west of Mr..
Abrams place, if weather is fav-
orable. If not, one week later.
1t is for both city and country
people, for rich and poor alike.
Don't bring any money-only
something to eat. Come early.
VIM. Brugger.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27
Case Settled.

The case against Prof. Myers,
of a mandamus nature, has been
settled, an arrangement having
been made to have the child in
whose interest the suit was
brought taught privately. The
costs which accrued in the bring
ing of the suit were settled by
the defendant.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27
Joseph OIIer Mentz.

Joseph Oller Wentz was born
May "a, 1860, in Marion, Pa.
Came to Missouri when II years
of age, and to Baxter Springs,
Kansas, in 1900. In October,
1887, he was married to Miss
Mary Good. To them was born
one daughter, Lulu, who with
the mother survive him.
Mr.. Wentz has one sister liv-
ing, Mrs. Ira Decker of Martins
burg, West Virginia.
Joseph Wentz lived a Christian
life, and when death came he
was ready.
In 1906 he became a member
of the Baxter Springs Methodist
Episcopal church.
He died at his home April Is,
1911.
The funeral services were con-
Quoted by his pastor, L. M.
Rhoades, at the home Friday
afternoon, in the presence of a
large congregation of sympa-
thizing friends.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27
Low Rates.

Annual reunion Confederate
Veterans and Sons of Veterans
Little Rock, Ark, May Is to 10,
1911. Special low rates.
Tickets on sale May IA, IS, 16,
IL, 1911, return limit May %;
may be extended, BY depOsitiug
ticket and small fee, to June IA.
Side trip tickets from Little
Rock on sale on May IS to 10.
giving you opportunity to see a
rich and growing country.
Complete information supplied
by agent Missouri Paci6c-IrOn
Mountain, or write F. P. Prosser,
D. P. A., Joplin. No.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27

The manufacturers of Calumet
Baking Powder have just pre-
pared a new edition of their
handsome Cook Book, and will
gladly mail it FREE to anyone
who sends for it. In writing ad-
dress the Calumet Baking Pow
der Co., Chicago, and ask for
Cook Book. ''F"
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27

For Sale-A five-rOom house,
corner of Lincoln and North
streets, 1OO-feet front, house in
extra good condition, gas, city
water and cistern water in house,
property under good fence. Price
ST, 900, half down, terms on bal
ance. This Office.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27

Our baby cries for Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy" writes
Mrs. T. B. Kendrick, Rasaca,
Ga. 1T is the best cough rem
edy on the market for coughs,
colds and Group" For sale by
all dealers.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27
Shoe Shop.

will meet any price or quality
of any kind of work. I guaran-
tee to use no poor leather and
can be found at my shop six days
in the week. E. w. SMITH.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27

For SALE-Span coming B.
year-old mules, II 3-4 hands
high, extra we'll made, have been
worked; price $3.50. C. L. Wall,
Faulkner, Kas., Route 1. Phone
2207.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27

The executive committee of
the electric road company held a
meeting in Miami on last FRI
day and talked over matters with
reference to the early beginning
of work on construction.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27

Cards bearing these words are
on sale At this Office. Cards are
good stock, heavy, and viii
gtsnd he Eesthel.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1911-04-27

good fence. Price $3.50; half
down, terms on balance. This
Office.