davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10

Mrs. P.--I had dozen proposals
before yours. All from smarter men
than you, too!
Mr.. P.-They must have been.
How did they manage TO get ont OF
marrying you?
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10
Well Qualified.

Head OF Weather Bureau~-What
qualifications have you for q position
in our department?
Applicant In a bean-guessing
contest once up State l guessed $40,
and there were IS, $50 beans in the
lar
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10
METHODIST EPISCOPAL

Sunday School next Sunday at 10
O'Clock. At II o'clock the Sunday
school will give Lincoln Temperance
program. Evening service at 7:3O,
topic, 1.-The Achieving Life of Lincoln. :"
Special music. Junior Epworth League
at p. M, Epworth League at $50 p.
M, topic, "The Obligations of Neigh
borliness. Prayermeeting Thursday
evening. You will find cordial well
come.
J. E. WATSON, Pastor.
The Ladies' Aid society will meet
with Mrs. Gruner Wednesday, Feb. Is.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10
London buys glacier ice from Nc

London buys glacier ice from Nor.
way, and much OF it mas to be shipped
20 miles down to the coast. Now a
New Yorker has secured an ice con-
cessicn from the Gillian government
and is planning to mine an ice noun
tain which stands In an inlet to the
straits of Magellan, and sell the ice to
the cities in the Argentine.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10
CHURCH OF CHRIST
fRantisfs-DiScinJes}

lBaptists- Disciples)
Lords Day services: Bible school at
10 a. m., preaching at II a. m. and
7:45 p. m. Morning topic, ''The Preach
ing of the Cross" evening, IA Change
of Heart" Christian Endeavor: Jun
ior at 3, Senior at Gas. Training Class
Tuesday at g., Prayermeeting Thurs
day at g. All are invited.
r. E. STEVENS, Minister.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10

Number of weeks board furnished
inmates during month, 1921; present
number of inmates, nine.
Glen Flora, Wis, Feb. 6 1911.
A. E. KRAMMEs, Supt.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10
Really Kind.

Mother Ceiling the history of
our first parents -~And Eve ate of
the fruit, and she gave some to
Adam.
Dolly-Oh, mamma! How kind
of her!
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10

Strange GUEST don't know half
the people in the room. Just look at
that woman over there-the cross
eyed, red-headed one. And some one
told me she was married. Don't you
think the fellow was a fool?
Other Guest (meekly)-I know he
was Tan him.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10

..T don't see." remarked the steer
sadly, "how l ann going to live with
the price of meat SO high"
You are crazy replied Rover,
''you don't eat meat"
Me- replied The steer, my case
il worse than that AM meat
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10

Limpy Bill had to split up twice
as much wood as usual afore tn old
lady would gimme a hand-oult. SsD
Blinay Bob-What's tn cause OF it,
Limpy?
Limpy-Th' increased cost of Twin,
| s'pose.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10
Il was in school. The children were
ried you.
NO WORK THEIR

1t was in school. The children were
studying the stationer's table:
Twenty-four sheets, one quire.
Twenty quires, one ,ream.
The teacher asked, who can tell
what a stationer is?"
Two little boy raised their hands.
'John?" said the teacher.
"A sfationer is man who keeps a
station" said John, confidently.
Frank, tell me what you think. .
II think a stationer is a hotelkeep-
err" he declared confidently.
why do you think so, Frank? ask
ell the teacher curiously.
Because l don't know anyone else
who would have twenty-four sheets. y
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10
GERMAN LUTHERAN

Services next Sunday at 10 a. m.
Sunday School at $50.
H. BAUMBACH, Pastor.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10

Butler-"Lady Gray and the new
cook are waiting below stairs, ma
dam"
Mrs. Frost-"Show the cook up
first, Jorkins. Lady Gray can wait.
but the cook won't Life
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10
IT Often Does.

How did that JOY ride of yours
snd?"
In a gloom walk.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10

Judge Ito barber sentenced to
DEATH If you have a last request,
the court will be glad to grant it.
Barber - ! should like to shave
the prosecuting attorney.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10
Householder { to street musician

Householder { to street musicians)
Mo: I sha'nt give you anything.
You play all out of tune"
Cornet .confidentially) - well. I'll
tell you 'ow it Is, sir. There's some
Of EN- as a grudge against others,
and does it o. purpose.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10

There's masked man at the back
door,"
Horrors! Is he after my diamonds?
mo. madame He only wants to
borrow Q can Of gasolsne."
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10
County Poor Farm Report

Report Of the Rusk County Farm fol
the month ending Jan. 81, 1911:
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1911-02-10

Tess-There are microbes in kisses.
Tom--Can you blame EN-?
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
Postal EMPLOYEES.

Postmaster General Frank H. Hitch
cock is proving a great money saver.
and he hopes to put the Post-ofice De-
partment on a paying basis within a
comparatively short time He has insti-
tuted economies which have saved
millions of dollars. and he is being con-
graduated upon his success by men all
over the country. There are some men.
however, who do not offer him their
congratulations They are the men en-
ployed by the Post-ofice Department,
and they constitute very large element
in the nation, comprising the letter car
riers, Railway Mail Service men. and
others employed in the post-ofices and
in post-ofice work. These men claim
that Mr.. Hitchcock is in large part de-
creasing the expenses of the depart
ment by increasing their work and by
letting other men go whose work they
now have to do; that they had already
been doing all they could DO properly
and in justice to themselves. Some of
the men in the Railway Mail Service claim
that they are doing 25 per cent more
work than they were expected TO do
before, and that they are overworked.
1t is also said that some of these men
are leaving because they cannot stand
the increased hours they are expected
to work, and that others would be glad
to go if they could find other work.
There may be something in all this,
but there may be something also in the
statement that there were thousands of
men employed in the service who were
not needed, and that it was high time
that there was retrenchnent. Mr.. Hitch
cock has made most creditable record
in Washington His recent action in re-
gard 70 the railway nail clerks indicates
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
Apponyi and Disarmament.

Count Apponyi, the Hungarian advo-
cate of worlds peace, who is now visit
ing the United States, is OF a practical
mind and recognizes the limitations of
progress toward international peace.
Amateur and professional peacemakers
would do we'll to follow his course of
reasoning. War cannot be abolished, -
says the count; and logically he recog-
nizes the fact that no single nation can
afford to disarm.'
Progress toward international peace
must be made along the line of reduc-
ing the possible causes of war, and of
providing efficient substitutes for war in
determining the disputes of nations,
which are inevitable. 1t is useless to
protest against navies and armies and
Notifications while the causes of war
exist or are in prospect Preventives
of war are necessary for every nation,
and the expense of military maintenance
must be borne until other preventives
are devised and operative which will
make big guns unnecessary. Militarism
cannot be disposed of by preachment or
protest. Disarmament is not matter
of arbitrary declaration, but of evolu-
ton. When the principles of The Hague
Conference are fully developed, and the
international court of justice which has
been advocated by Secretary Knox and
Senator Root is achieved, and these sub
stitutes have reduced the possibilities of
war to a minimum, armies and navies
will be less necessary.
But until such time the peace advo-
Gates might as we'll recognize the fact
that great guns and the ability to use
them are the accepted form Of national
insurance against war, and that an ap-
peal for a great naval or military policy
rarely fails of popular approval.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
True Cost Finding.

The time seems ripe for an earnest
inquiry on the part of the consumer
into the mystery involved in the ques-
ton: why should the producer receive
so little and. the consumer pay so
much?"
Recently Chicago man bought bar
rel of apples, paying 81 for it. When
he opened the barrel he found in it a
note, signed with the name and address
of farmer, which read as follows: 81
was paid Is cents for these apples. How
much did you pay?" This case presents
legitimate problem. The Chicago con-
sumner and the farmer should get to-
gether. The farmer should start an in
quiry with the man who bought his
apples, and the consumer with the mar
ket man or commission man who sold
them to him. When they have followed
the trail until they come together, like
engineering parties tunneling from op-
posite sides of a mountain. they will
have found out exactly who got the
$3.25 which the farmer did not get.
The science of cost finding is some
thing which the people are very much
interested. in. They are quite willing
that a tariff commission shall spend a
little time exploring the gap that lies
between the producer and the consumer.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
The House and the District.

All honor to the I2I members of the
House of Representatives who, regard
full of the interests of the National Capt.
tai and of their duty under the Consti-
tuition, voted yesterday in favor of the
consideration of District legislation.
Ii is true that this number was in the
minority The edict had gone forth that
the District was to be sacrificed, and
the majority voted to sidetrack local
measures in favor of the reciprocity
agreement. 1t is now evident that no
District legislation is to be enacted at the
present session unless one or two bills
can be passed under suspension of the
rules or through some other parlia-
mentary advantage. 1t is hardly likely,
however, that any of the really important
measures will receive consideration.
1t is difficult to view the situation
with equanimity. The people of the Dis
trict have no board of aldermen, or
common council, or any other form of
local legislature, save Congress. That
body has been vested by the Constitu-
ton with exclusive legislation over the
District, and when it fails to perform the
work intrusted to it, the people here have
no recourse. They must wait in patience
until Congress sees fit to turn a listen
ing ear to their appeal 1t would not
make so much difference if there were
only trivial matters demanding atten-
ton On the contrary. the pending
measures have a vital connection with
our municipal life.
The neglect of the District by the
House of Representatives is an injus-
tice from which, unfortunately. there is
no appeal.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
Nothing Against His Record.

Senator Cullom, of Illinois, is one of
the few Irving links with the past. He
was active in politics more than half a
century ago, and entered Congress at
the request of Lincoln in 1866. Though
young then, he had attained high repu-
tation at the bar. He was a partner of
John Hays uncle, Milton Hay, who was
active in the promotion of Lincoln's first
candidacy. Lincoln, in 1866, wanted in
Congress an Illinois man who thoroughly
knew the State, and with whom he
could consult con6dentially. His choice
fell. on Cullom, and the busy lawyer gave
up his practice to go to Washington.
Senator Cullom's Congressional service
has not been continuous, but he has
been in the Senate now more than
twenty-seven years, and his term will
not expire until 1913. He is now in his
eighty-third year. He is more closely
identified with Federal rate regulation
than we realize, so completely is the
achievement of the pioneer overshadowed
by those of his successors.
Senator Cullom is affectionately styled
Uncle Shelby" in Illinois, and his popu-
larity and faithful service have given
him easy triumph in most Senatorial
contests. This fact alone ought to have
saved him from thatosneer of one of the
defenders of Lorimer, that the Illinois
legislature is ever the same, and that
the methods alleged to have been en-
ployed to elect Lorimer have long been
normal. The charge exasperated Sena-
tor cullom, and he made q reply to
Bailey 70 the effect that he-not only
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
TIES on SmuErIerA

You hear lot of discussion about the
way the customs officials get tips about
the dresses and the jewelry American
women purchase in Paris" said Eugene
r. Theurer. who is in business in Paris.
and who was seen at the New Willard,
1t is perfectly simple.
You can sit on the curbstone of the
Avenue de FOpera any day in the season
women who go by. Nine out Of ten of
them will be talking about what they
have been buying. You can sit in the re-
cepuon room of a Paris hotel. with a
paper in front of you, pretending to read.
and you can hear punches of women
talking nothing but clothes. I'm goInr
TO get sO-and-so,' one will say. and an
other will tell how Charlie is going to
let her have this. Another will saw that
her husband has promised to get her a
diamond pendant if she can get along
with fewer dresses than she has planned.
For the equivalent of 10 cents, the hall
boy will get you the names of these
women.
You can walk into a shop and appear
to be looking at a 3 matchbox while a
party of American are examining a mag
nifcent diamond necklace. and can over
hear the conversation In almost every
case in which information about articles
purchased abroad reaches the ears of the
customs officials the women who make
the purchases are in some way RESPONSE
BILE for the information leaking out
There are a lot of persons in Paris
who make their living just by keeping
their ears Open They carry what they
they have heard to the United States
Treasury agents in Paris. and when a
seizure is made upon their information
they receive a slice of what the govern
ment gets out of it.
II know a woman, an American, who
lives in Paris, and she makes handsome
income just by keeping her ears open.
She used to be hard UP, but now she
dresses as well as almost anybody else of
reasonable means
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
Mr.. Taft and Mr.. Clark.

The fact that President Taft, the
leader of the Republican party, is able
to announce publicly, not only without
apology but with evident pride, that he
has formed an alliance with the Speaker
of the next Democratic House upon a
matter of public policy, will unquestion-
ably lead to widespread remark. 1t re-
Veals a situation hitherto unparalleled
in American politics 1t almost presageS
the millennium.
e. The common bond of sympathy be-
tween the leaders of opposing parties
IS reciprocity with Canada None the
less, the partnership is unique If it
means anything. it means that the Presi-
dent is not a partisan. but that, in his
desire to benefit the entire country, he
discards party lines and accepts the as
sistance of those who are willing to aid
him, regardless of their political COM
pleXiOn. He must realize, of course. that
there are men within his own party who
will view his new affiliation with some
diStrust. They are the men to whom
the doctrine OF undiluted protection is
as sacred as gospel, and whose vision
cannot reach beyond the confines Of their
own party They will fail to appreciate
the Presidents point of view. More
than this, they do not realize that the
President has behind him public senti-
ment which Justihes his action and which
will not be satisfied until the Presidents
policies are carried into effect. The pro-
fessIonal politician may dislike the new
alliance, but the great mass of the
people, who want the burden of high
living lifted from their shoulders, will
agree that it is all-important to attain
the desired result.
Mr.. Clark has gone a step further
than the President. and has declared
himself for reciprocity not alone with
Canada, but with South America and all
the rest of the world This is the logi-
cal sequence TO the agreement with
Carada. If the plan works well for
US so far as our northern neighbor is
concerned, it should be advantageous in
other directions. When the suggestion
for extension comes. will it be initiated
by the Republicans or by the Democrats,
or will they both work harmoniously
to the same end
Surely we have come upon strange
times in politics The spectacle of
Republican President and a Democratic
Speaker marching arm-in-arm may we'll
excite our wonder 1t would be well If
we could lift the mysterious veil of the
future and see the destination of the
path which they are now treading with
no uncertain step.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
MR.. TAFT GIVES WARNING.
says There Is n Power Behind Con-
Eress Greater Than PARTIES

says hhere is rover Behind Con-
Eress Greater Than Parties.
From the Baltimore American.
No other President has indicated a
clearer apprehension of the fact that
there is a power behind Congress other
than and greater than the parties which
are supposed to shape political policies
No other President since Lincoln has I'M
dcrstood better how to reach that elusive
something called public opinion than
President Taft. When he believes that
some public policy ought to be carried to
realization. he does not depend solely
upon writing messages to Congress about
it. He has formed the habit of taking
the question straight to the people. He
understands that when he explains to the
people why a policy should be carried
out, and Convinces them that il is the
thing that should be done, he will have
effectively reached the Servants-the
members of the two branches Of the Ma
tional observation-disclosures the masters
the people. In various addresses deIiv-
cred in the Central West last week, and
especially in the speech made before the
Illinois legislature the President under
took to prove that the pending reci-
prOCity treaty with Canada is wise
business policy for the United States. The
argument is logical, and when it shall
have been digested, it cannot fail to be
convincing. Through an educated public
opinion the President will reach Con-
gr@sS: if not the present Congress. per-
haps the incoming Congress at an extra
session.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
HUMAN NATURE IN WASHINGTON
By FRED c. KELLY.

except that you're mighty liberal with
another mans time
-
Even though he was a practicing physi-
clan and administered to tummyache and
such things for many years, Senator Gal
hnger, of New Hampshire, the only doc
tor in the Senate, is none of your diet
cranks. Besides being one of the hearth
est eaters of all the monday diners at
the Senate restaurant, he goes in for a
wide assortment of rations and doesn't
seem to think that various things on the
menu might hurt him. as so many
doctors would have one believe. He eats
pastry, chatting dish specialties with lots
of cheese in them, and, oh, all sorts Of
things. just like Il growing boy. And he
seems to have a way of mesmerizing his
food SO that it never turns in a minority
report and he is not obliged to call him
self in to feel his pulse or ask himself to
thrust his tongue out into space.
Representatives Edwin DENLY, of Mich
igan. and Michael Conry. Of New York,
were classmates in college and great
friends. but lost track of each other for
number Of years. Their first meeting
after leaving college was here in Wash
ington when Conry came down to enter
Congress two years ago.
well, well, And what brings you to
Washington" inquired DENLY when they
bumped into each other in front of a
hotel on Pennsylvania avenue.
"Oh. I've been elected to Congress-"
replied Conry. with pardonable bit of
chest Outthrust. Down here on some
legal matter. are yOu?''
NO: I'm in Congress myself" says
DENLY. after this let's keep closer tab
on each other"
President Taft received a call just be-
fore starting on his recent Western trip
from an Ohio friend. a man who. though
n strong Republican, was born in Ire
land. This Irishman knows the Presi-
dent well enough to joke with him.
See here Mr.. President he suggest
ed, you've been tied down here for some
time. while I've been taking things com
paratively easy. Now, why wouldn't it
be a good idea for you to just let me sit
in your Office here and run the country
while you're out on this trip
To which the President replied that il
he did that we'd be plunged into war
with England inside of twentyfOur
hours.
a Capitol guide had just been pointing
out all the Senators on the floor at the
request of the two women he had in tow
Gracious, | never saw so many Sena-
tors one of them exclaimed. rs that
man that just came in another SENATOR
Yes; that's Senator Page, of Yer
mont"
And all those little boys running
around-what do they do?''
oh. those are page boys replied the
guide.
All Page boys. YOU say? Well. we'll,
Vermont is well represented, isn't it?''
lCoTyught. 1911. by Fred g KcIly.)
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
Oldest Civic RegaIia.

From the Pail Mall Gazette.
The crystal mace with which the lord
mayor of London has just claimed the
right to be present at the coronation will
l. by far the most ancient piece of re-
gala in evidence AT that historic cere-
mony 1t dates from Saxon times, as
the workmanship of its crystal and gold
shaft with jcwelled head declares. From
the time before the NOrmans this mace,
which is barely eighteen inches long,
has symbolized sovereignty over the city,
when the lord mayor was still known as
the porIreeve. and London was an indie
pendent state. 1t is the Oldest piece of
civic regalia in the world. and it is
seen only at the induction of the lord
mayor on November s, and at the cor
onation of the sovereign.
The Washington herald., 1911-02-14
Connaught's Pretty Daughters.

From the New York Sun.
The Duke of Connaught, Canada's new
governor general. is the uncle of King
George. He is the only surviving son
OF Queen Victoria. During the life of
his brother, Edward VII, he was picked
for the governor generalship of Canada,
but upon the Kings death il was sup
posed he would not go. as King George
would need him in England to assist in
conducting affairs of state, the new
Prince of Wales being still too young to
represent his father.
Connaught has just returned to Eng
land from South Africa, where he repre-
sented the King at the opening OF the
first Parliament OF the new union.
He Is the father eof the pretty Princess
Patricia. whom rfmor has engaged to
half the crowned heads OF Europe.