The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1911-03-24
THE GUILEFUL TOURIST.

OF regret to common humanity In at least one re-
spect ne is soll Of mOngrel between man of leis-
ure and homeless orphan. He has more leisure
than anything else and his step-father refuses
70 recognize hlmas his own child. He has seen bet
ter days and worn good clothes and played high low
jack and the game with people of prominence and
resPecta6lly, and ne has stood in the old home
CHOIR ana sung "a Cross to Keep Have" and he
mas always tried to keep it. But his Prince Albert
coat and his credit to have gone laundering up
the tlume together They have gone to join the
angels; and to hlm they as tail that has been
amputaed. They are numbered with the reminis-
cences OF the dear dead and gone and their remains
are slumbering in their respective pigeonholes of
last fepose the cold cold shelf Of other times in
the brick store Of the clother with whom he negot
ated and mingled in the days when he was young
and full OF ambition and tolerably hard up
hecCmes IRON the four corners and two or three
sides Of the earth. He would come from the center
ana other intermediate points also but modern
science and the alwise and everlasting railway cor
poratons seem to have been Indifferent to the ho 10
otglory that will crown the imperial brow of him
VINO goes forth like little Christopher Columbus
and navigates the globe AS yet no cut rates are
declared and nocheap tourist tickets to the intes-
tines of the earth and return good for nnety DAYS
have been Inscribed on the bulletin boards Of the
modest scalper 1t is Furthermore said that cool
zephyrs, strawberry lemonade, mountain scenery,
specked trout and spare built pantaoons are some
what seldom IN that region.
He is not constructed like the average tourist,
who bids farewell to home and friends and "The Old
)aken Bucket and emigrates to the wild and woolly
West to Beard the mountain lion and the prairie dog
in their respective dens and to repair lame lung
with ozone, light air and landscape, and to have a
good time.
He fails and otherwise refuses to pitch his little
wlgwam under his own vine and scrub oak,
among the pines and piety of Glenpark as other well
trained tourists do. He never dimes on strawberry
short cake and the remains Of young and tender
barnyard hen. He don't pose in doubled and
twisted black and yellow striped new tangled ma
chine calleda hammock, catching flies and other
aerial insects with his mouth with one foot pointing
upward and onward toward the summit of Pixies
peak, while the other rambes off in the direction of
the new Jerusalem. He has never believed in rock
ing on anything since the lovely and ver-to-be for
gotten Sunday Afternoon in the dismal past when he
was cruelty and unnecessarily rocked by fifteen or
twenty festive and unchrstian youths certain
fish pond in the pastures of his adopted father
The other boys had fresh fish for supper and he
tired on his usual soup and very lean and haggard
straw bed.
He don't believe in doing as other tourists do,
and ne steers his anatomy away from the towpath
in which they are wont to rambe. He wears sever
al varieties of grins on his physiognomy, and the
fragment of hat on very small head, and his
general demeanor toward his associate tourists ind
Gates that he has neither religion nor all he wants to
eat He has meanderng look in his pale blue eyes
anda long farewell is inscribed in rustic characters
on his haggard brow. He is a swinefeeding; husk-
eating prodigal among men, an Ishmael upon the
face OF the land and his name is not definitely known
He has long, lingering mouth that reminds one of
the cCmcrlbSOf his ancestors and low, descending
tone that comes at intervals and meal time 1t
sounds like the last rose of summer and it carries
one back to Ole Vrginny and the other twelve orgi-
nal colonies and that great and good man Washing
ton
He wears pair of long lean pants and cutaway
coat 1t has been cut away in the rear from the
right arm downward and diagonally to the left pock-
ct and there ripped the rest of the way His shoes
are scared with tn sands of time and the sage
brush desert and white with the dust Of the alkali
basin. To-day he is here and tomorrow he may be
not He is ss uncertain as he is unsafe and in the
near hence the laudady before mentioned will pro-
baby be wreathing with mountain spruce and kinni
kinick, the MOTTO SO dear to every well regulated
household, in God we trust for the amount he
shall continue to owe for board