davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1911-09-21

For bowel complaints in children
always give Chamberlain's Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy and
castor oil. 1t is certain to effect a
cure and when reduced with water and
sweetened is pleasant to take. No
physician can prescribe a better rem
edy. For sale by all dealers.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1911-09-21

The Pioneer-get the home news
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
Prudent lmnertinence.

"a Chinese servant can be impu.
dent without anybody who doesn't
know the tricks of the race ever find
ing it out" said Montana man.
without speaking word or moving
a muscle he can tell you to shut up
or go to the Internal regions, or any
other billingsgate he chooses to in
dulge in.
Just to go around with his queue
stuck In his pocket means all that
and any other compliments of that
character you care to add to II. All
the impudent retorts in the Chinese
vocabulary can be expressed by that
apparently innocent arrangement Of
his pigtail
Some Chinese who know they have
a greenhorn TO deal with go about
their work with their queue IN the
retort impudent state. so that II any
order is given that they don't like
their answer Of defiance is ready But
that is a fern of insolence that the
sophisticated employer squelches with
out ceremony. He will knock China
man on the head or break his back. II
necessary-anything to get his queue
out of his pocket"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
BABYS HAIR ALL CAME OUT

when my first baby was six
months old he broke out on his head
with little bumps. They would dry
up and leave a scale. Then it would
break out again and it spread all over
his head. All the hair came out and
his head was scaly all over. Then his
face broke out all over in red bumps
and it kept spreading until it was on
his hands and arms. l bought several
boxes of ointment, gave him blood
medicine, and had two doctors to treat
him, but he got worse all the time. He
had it about six months when a friend
told me about Cuticura. l sent and
got a bottle OF Cuticura Resolvent, a
cake of Cuticura Soap and box OF
Cuticura Ointment. In three days
after using them he began to improve.
He began to take long maps and to
stop scratching his head. After taking
two bottles of Resolvent, two boxes Of
Ointment and three cakes of Soap he
was sound and well, and never had
any breaking out Of any kind. His
hair came out in little curls all over
his head. l don't think anything else
would have cured him except Cuticura.
Il have bought Cuticura Ointment
and Soap several times since to use
FOR cuts and sores and have never
known them to fail to cure what put
them on. l think Cuticura is a great
remedy and would advise any one to
use 1t. Cuticura Soap is the best that
have ever Used for toilet purposes"
(Signed) Mrs. F. e. Harmon, r. F. D
Q. Atoka, Tenn, Sept. 10, 1910.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

| police justice to swear that I'm on the
level, and If Ger that gold mine"
"Tushl" interrupted. Il saw you
work. Skinski, and you're a wonder;
that's good enough for my money"
yes, but you never once put a
sleuth over the back trail to throw
the spot light on my past life" Skin
ski babbled on. You're the first white
man that ever took chance with me
without lashing me to the medicine
bell, and I'll make good for you, all
right, won't I, Dodey?"
You betcher sweet" she mumbled.
with a mouth full Of wine.
SAY" said Skinski to me, after Ee
had ordered some breadstuff for the
leading lady, you're not such a late
train with the sleight-of-hand gag
yourself, Mr.. Manager!"
"Oh! I'm only piker at it," re-
piled, modestly. 81 can do a few moth
eaten tricks with the cards and I've
studied out few Of the illusions,
enough to know how to do them with
out breaking an ankle, but I'm not
cute enough to be on the stage"
Skinski laughed, and Dodo looked
over another glass Of Green Seal long
enough to say, you betcher sweet"
Well" said Skinski, leading a bevy
OF French-fried potatoes up to his
mustache, you'll know enough about
it after / rehearse you to go on and
do the show when we hit fried-egg
burg, where there's only a Mr. asd
Mrs. Audience to greet our earnest
endeavors. Say, boys, you'll get sot
of fricasseed experience trailing with
this troupe, believe mel"
I'm only going to be with you for
a few days" l answered "Mr. JEFF
ferson win be your permanent man
ager,"
THE devil Will" spIuttered
Bunch. Then he got red in the face.
glared at Dodo, and grouched out
beg pardon!"
You betcher sweet" she replied,
patting the Green Seal
Say, John, you know well enough
can't leave New York for more than
two or three days just at this time
without having a good excuse to give
Alice" Bunch growled, while Skinski
and the Circassian lady put the
knives to the chicken livers e. bro
Ghetto
How about met" snapped back.
Il can't go out of town at all, except
in the daytime. I'll have to duck back
to Ruraldene after the show every
evening or lose my card In the Happy
Husbands union. It's different with
you, Bunch; you're not married yet"
1T isn't different at ALL" Bunch
whipsawed me. And you haven't
any business to expect me to hike
over the country with this outfit while
you stay at home and read Bunyan's
Pilgrims Progress
II won't read that at ALL" l coun-
tered; 'I'll read nothing but the ship
news to see If you are stranded"
We'll, won't do it," snorted
Bunch.
You'll have to do 1t IL you want
to win out that wedding money" re-
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
HEART RIGHT.
When He Quit Coffee.

Life Insurance Companies will not
Insure man suffering from heart
trouble.
The reason is obvious.
This is serious matter to the hus-
band or father who is sollcitous for
the future of his dear ones. Often
the heart trouble is caused by an IN
expected thing and can be corrected II
taken in time and properly treated. 4
man In Colorado writes:
81 was great coffee drinker for
many years, and was not aware OF the
injurious effects Of the habit till
became a practical invalid, suffering
from heart trouble, indigestion and
nervousness to an extent that made
me wretchedly miserable myself and
a nuisance to those who witnessed my
sufferings.
Il continued to drink coffee, how.
ever, not suspecting that 1t was the
cause Of my ill-health. till on applying
for life insurance was rejected on &C
count of the trouble with my heart
Then l became alarmed. l found that
leaving of coffee helped me quickly, so
I quit It altogether and having been
attracted by the advertisements OF
Postum I began its use.
The change in my condition was re-
markable. All my ailments vanished.
My digestion was completely restored,
my nervousness disappeared, and.
most important Of all, my heart stead
led down and came normal, and on a
second examination l was accepted by
the Life Insurance Co. Quitting coffee
and using Postum worked the change"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich.
There's a reason" and ii is ex-
planned in the little book, THE Road
TO MELVILLE" In pkgs.
Ever read the above letterf A new
one appears from time TO time. They
are genuine, true, and full of humRR
Interest.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
tB, WALTER B. LEUrz.)

NY W ALIEN Is. LEU IL.J
Weeds. weeds everywhere; they
thrive in the cornfield, they choke
wheat in the field, they annoy the
gardener, they thrive in the meadow,
they spring up by the roadside. they
encroach on the swamp.
Emerson said of weeds that they
are plants whose virtues have not yet
been discovered" But a few benefits
may be derived from weeds.
They are of some use in the world
to induce more frequent and more
thorough cultivation. which benefits
crops; in occupying the soil after a
crop has been removed they prevent
the loss of fertility by shading the
ground.
Weeds plowed under add some
humus and fertility to the soil, though
in very much less degree than clover
or COW peas; some weeds furnish food
for birds in winter.
In justice to the weeds their ad-
vantages have been mentioned first.
because the list of the disadvantages
is very long one-too long to enum-
crate. A few, however, may be given
enough to convince every one that
every effort should be made to get
rid of them.
Farmers should carefully observe
and study the weeds and their habits,
in order to fight them to the best ad-
vantage.
1. Weeds rob cultivated plants of
nutriment.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

away from the cars this morning and
we bumped into nephew quite by
chance. didn't we, nephew"
Bunch growled something that
wouldn't sound well on the graphic
phone.
do you like New York;" Aunt
Martha asked the other half of the
sketch in an effort to be pleasant.
You betcher sweet" said Do6o,
whereupon Aunt Martha fell back two
PAGES to the rear and looked pityingly
at Bunch.
IF you'll excuse us, Uncle Corne.
Illus and Aunt Flora, I'll take my wife
and her mother to the train" l said
nervously.
Not at all, not at all" piped Skin.
ski. "Dodey-I mean Flo-and l
don't mind bit. do we, Flo?"
You betcher sweet" she answered,
and | saw Peaches glance question
ingly at Bunch, who was giving a bril-
liant imitation of the last rose Of
summer.
But. John, I'm so hungry" Peaches
pleaded
Il know, my dear, but you see
Bunch has an awful lot of family hap
penings to discuss with his relatives, I"
| said; "and we must give him a
chance to get acquainted with Uncle
Cornelius and Aunt Flora"
Whereupon l grabbed my hat and
ducked for another eat shop without
ever glancing at Bunch.
Copyright, G. w. Dillingham; Coz
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

Bunch and l went into a restaurant
and found Signor Petroskinski, who
was looking Eor us.
His right Same was JEFF Mulligan,
but PetrosKinsRd sounded more for.
eign, and he fell COR It.
| introduced Skinsh to Bunch, and
in five minutes all the business de
tails Of a scheme l sprung were
settled.
5kinski needed about $500 to pay
lor couple of new illusions which
were being built for him, and Bunch
was appointed a committee to go down
to Sixth avenue and disburse the
funds.
Il think we've got the real graft,
don't you, Skinski?" / said, after the
luncheon had been ordered.
TITS a pipe!" Skinski replied fl
pure United States, much to Bunch's
surprise. From the name and The
makeup / suppose Bunch expected
5kinski to yelp in Bulgarian or tl-ow
put signals in Graeco-Roman.
Skinski was a warm member with
the CAB thing.
He got his start travelling with a
medicine wagon in the west and what
be didn't know about the show bust
ness wasn't necessary.
Say, people!" our star went on,
I've n couple of new card tricks up
my sleeve that will leave the Reubens
gasping for air. And when l pull my
new illusion, entitled, Keno, or the
Curious Cage on the public 1t will be
case Of counting easy coin. SAyl
did / ever tell you about that gNd
mine l won in the west many mosns
ago2"
NIX on the dream work, Sklnski,"
cut in. We've put up our good
money to start you, so let's get down
% the programme"
"Oh. very WELL" said Skinski; but
I was down to see my brokers today
IN Wall street and there are doings.
I've got a plantation fun of gold out
near the Blue hills, and"
please don't smoke, there are la
lies present. admonished Bunch.
"Oh, very weil!" said Skinsh, and
forthwith he launched into a descrip-
lion OF his various tricks.
The waiter had just brought our
luncheon when a large blondined
shadow fell across the festive board
and Skinski jumped to his feet, fol-
lowed by Bunch and yours sur
prisedly.
Permit met" Skinski said; "our
new hackers. Mr.. Jefferson and Mr..
John Henry this is Mademoiselle
Dodo, the human Guessworks. She's
my assistant in the mind-reading
tests. and she's all to the elegant.
WIN you feed the face. Dodey?"
You betcher sweet" Dodo replied,
as she splashed into the chair pro-
vided by the waiter, while l glanced
At Bunch sideways and found him on
the verge of a fainting fit.
I've told Dodey all about you two
glad boys" Skinsh went on, land
she's for you. amt you, Dodey"
you betcher sweet" Dodo chimed
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
MorryInu Hannlnesn.

The bishop of Manchester, speaking
at a meeting at Church house, West
minister, said the secret of happiness
was to have sufficient multitude Of
worries.
The man who had only one worry,
a blind that would not be pulled up
straight by the servant. or a coal
scuttle the bottom of which was al
ways coming out, found his way to
the lunatic asylum, but the man who
had no slime to dwell upon his wor-
ries because he had to go from one to
another, and back again and round
and round like a squirrel in cage,
could be a perfectly happy man.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

Ben" said his friend, waking up
from a reverie In which he had been
gazing abstractedly at the shiny ex-
panse of Bens skatin.rink-for-flies. is
there nothing you could do for your
baldness?"
Ben, by the way, is only forty.
mo. lad!" he replied with de-
cision. Fifteen years ago / was
counting strong. and tried lots o.
things. But about that time { prince
of Wales-Edward, you know came
TO open t new hospital, and said to
myself as soon as / saw him liftin
his hat to { crowd. Ben. my lad. tina
can give It up as bad Job, and save
thy brass. II there was owt at 'ud
cure bald heead they'd ha' cured
his. '"-Tit-Bits.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

torted. is this the way you thank
me for what I've done for you?"
Done for me nothing!' Bunch bit
back. Il put up as much coin as you
did, and now you want me to do MI
tho work."
Work." l echoed; what work is
1t to count money, Ell, Skinsh?'
Counting money is hot pastime.
isn't q, nodey?" he answered.
you betcher sweet" responded
the fair lady. gazing dreamily at the
empty flagor
Well, take my word for It," snarled
Bunch, Il don't banker for that sort
Of amusement. II there's any train
hopping to be done it's up TO you.
John. It's your game. not mine"
Say, are you going to welsh on me
now that we've passed over our con-
tract to Skinski?" l asked holly.
mo, I'm not going to welsh" Bunch
came right back, but I'm only a ST.
lent partner in this concern, so you
for the Bad Lands to do the barking
for the show"
why didn't you flash this stingy
talk before we got started?" l wanted
TO know. TITS shine play TO wait
till you get me all tied up with these
artists here,"
Skinsh and Dodo both took a bow.
i didn't" Bunch cackled. You
framed up the whole thing. and now
you're sore because l won't leave
home and friends to plug your game"
ITS as much your game as mine!"
1T isn't"
1T isl"
Rats"
Make Il twice on the Rats"
In two seconds more / suppose we
! would have come 10 blows, but Just
] then a well.known voice behind us
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

In. with a hungry glance at the
cooked stuff.
Il told her we had n business meet
on here, but II she wanted to squeeze
in she wouldn't be in anybody's way"
Sklnski continued "Dodey's an aw-
full clever girl. and she wouldn't be in
this biz eight hours II that gold
mine"
Sure, knowl" interrupted: pos
sibly Mademoiselle is thirsty-a little
wine, eh?"
You betcher sweet" the stout per-
son replied. with a celebrity that made
Bunch sit up and look about the room
to see If anyone suspected him.
"Dodey is always for the suds
thing," Skinski Clipped in. But
never to excess. never to excess. l
never see Dodey lit up but once. and
that was in Dayton. Ohio, the night
we played to the janitor of the hail
and his four children. When we came
to the place where Dodey is blind.
folded and does the decimal fractions
stunt on the blackboard the janitor's
Oldest child fooled Dodey into doing
all next weeks lessons in arithmetic
and Dodey fretted over 1t. didn't you,
| Dodey?"
You betcher sweet" the leading
lady replied. with both eyes following
the efforts Of the waiter. who was
opening bottle of Green Seal.
Bunch was beginning TO get uneasy
and l had a bad attack of fidgets.
Say. Dodey!" our bright and shin
ing light went on. 81 want you to
make fuss over these two younr
gents. because they ere the only near
" silk on the cou1ter They've put
~ their good cash 10 send me on tour
without ever dragging re before /;
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

2. I'll y injure crops by crowdin,
and sha 'pg.
3. I ley retard the work of har4
vesting grain by increasing the draft
and by extra wear of machinery.
4. They retard the drying of grain
and hay.
5. They increase the labor Of
threshing. and make cleaning OF seed
difficult.
6. They damage the quality of
flour, sometimes making it nearly
worthless.
z. Most of them are of little value
as food for domestic animals.
s. Some weeds injure stock by
means of barbed awns.
9. Some of them injure wool and
disfigure the tails of cattle, the names
and tails of horses.
10. A few make hair balls" In the
stomachs of horses.
II. Some injure the quality of
dairy products.
IL. Penny cress. and probably
others, when eaten by animals, injure
the taste of meat
10. Poison hemlock, spotted COW
bane and jamestown weed are very
poisonous.
IA. Many weeds interfere with a
rotation of crops.
Is. All weeds damage the appear
ance of a farm and render it less val
liable.
Four of the commonest weeds are
the wild carrot, chicory, dodder, and
ribgrass.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
Making Clover Hay.

My method is to cut It down after
the dew is of in the morning or late
II the afternoon. Before 1t gets very
dry l start the tedder and run over it
three or four times with this machine
Late in the evening put it up in tall
slender shocks, which stand there
until next morning, when IT is hauled
into the barn and large quantity OF
it put together-the more the better.
but it is not tramped In. II the
weather Is fair l often allow 1t to
stand in the shock for two or three
days and it dries out in the shock
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

gurgled. "Hayo, joint Why. hadn't
any idea you were herel And Bunch,
too! I'm glad to see you'll"
II was Peaches, and behind her,
smiling sweet approval. stood Aunt
Martha.
Heart failure for mine as / STUN.
bled to my feet and caught the inter.
ested expressions on the faces Of
Skinski and Dodo.
Aunt Martha and have been shop
ping. and we dropped In here for
luncheon" my wife ratified on, while
| was slowly recovering.
"Of course we don't wish to be de
tropS" she added, glancing curiously
at the famous Skinski and his assist
ant in the mind-reading tests.
mo, no, Peaches; certainly mott"
| spluttered; hadn't the faintest idea
you were coming in town today. Let
me present Bunch's Uncle Cornelius
MCGOWAN and his Aunt Flora from
Springfeld-my wife and my mother.
in-lawi"
Skinski and Dodo were wise in a
minute, and they never batted an eye.
but Bunch took the full count.
Of course he couldn't deny the rela-
tionship without giving himself away,
so he simply stood there and looked
foolish.
Have you been in the city very
long?" my wife said most pleasantly
to Signor Petroskinski.
No, madam" he answered, with a
courtier-like bow; we only broke
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
WHERE THEY DRAW THE LINE
Naturally Men Disapprove Of ExtrsVa'
eanee When Their Own Purse
Is Concerned.

Mrs. William B. Leeds, who took
Mrs. George Keppel's Louise in Lon
don for the coronation season, came
from New Yoris with A. huge trunks,
all the same size, all mounted with
shining brass, all clare t-colored, and
all as lustrous as the body Of motor
car.
Mrs. Leeds, as her Al trunks imply
dresses very beautifully. She spends
q large amount on her wardrobe. and
discussing the fact that woman's
dress is so much more expensive and
so much less durable than mans, she
once said
I'VE women dress foolishly, and we
will continue to do so till men disap-
prove; but"-she smiled on the men
at the table-"no man in the world
ever disapproved OF dress extrava-
gance in a woman unless she hap
pened to be his wife" detroit Free
Press.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
Bird Sticks to Old Ways.

As Indicative OF the conservative
nature of birds writer calls attention
to the habit of the gray wagtaii. which
offers a striking example of the unde-
waiting fight of certain species. This
bird passes it's winters in the heart Of
Africa and in summer it is seen every
where in Europe. in Asia and even in
Greenland. 1t has never been known
to travel to North America from
Greenland. It goes to Greenland by
way of England. the Farce islands and
Iceland. The bird does not know and
will not know any itinerary that has
not been laid out by the birds Of its
species in the past.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
uneompIIm.ntarY comparIsOn.

A Philadelphia school director is
mostly bald, and one Of his sons took
advantage OF the fact TO make plain
10 his teacher his understanding OF
geography. The teacher had defined
a desert as a barren tract. and In order
to impress the pupils with it she had
asked them to define It and give an
example. When the school directors
boy was questioned he answered
promptly and correctly. and by way OF
illustration said: "A desert is s great
big tract that's barren, like pas head
an inch above his ears.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
GOOD MODERN
DAIRY METHODS
Not Amy More Unpleasant Than
Any Other Work on the Farm
-CIea y liness Is Essential
and Becomes Habit.
fRr hi q. wEArHERsToNEl

Don't like dairying because 1t is
dirty work? Well, l do not think 1t is
any more unpleasant than the aver
age work or the farm. 1t is just as
easy to keep clean in the dairy and to
make dairy WORK clean as in any
thing else. Cleanliness soon becomes
a habit and after one has managed a
clean dairy for awhile he has no de-
sire TO run any other kind. Over at
cur place We used to run the dairy
work in rather q slipshod way. but
during the last few years we have
changed our entire system and we
like the new way better. 1t takes one
but a few moments TO brush OF the
cows, wash their udders. slip on a
clean duck suit and wash ones hands.
Milk directly into covered pals,
through a strainer and do not allow
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

Whether you wish to splice a rope
Sr make an eye, unravel the strands
as shown in fig. 1. For an eye bring
the unraveled end back upon the rope
to the desired size of loop and begin
to work the strands into the rope as
shown in fig 2. Strand a goes under
b, over d. under c. etc. Strand goes
under c, over b, under d, etc. Strand
goes under d. over c, under b, etc,
each strand being gradually reduced
in size by cutting out few hbers.
This makes a nice, smooth job.
Fig. is the reverse side Of fig. 2.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12
MhN He Quilt

Haven't l the privilege of making
suggestions to the man fixing the
lawn?" she asked. with tears in her
voice.
Why. certainly" he assured her.
Well. Just because l made sug-
gestion to him he threw all his tools
in the wheelbarrow In an angry man
ner and went away without saying a
word"
Why. what had you said to make
him act ike that?"
Il just asked him to plant a few
nice dandelions in the lawn"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

Draw all the strands tight at one time
after the tucking is done then cut
on the protruding ends
For a smooth splice take the two
ends unraveled as I'm fig. and put
them together as shown in fig 4. No
two strands should come together in
the same space. They are tucked un-
der and over as in making figures
2 and 3. gradually reducing size by
cutting out fibers. Four tucks viii
hold all the rope can stand. Roll the
splice under foot and make it fit
smoothly together.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1911-07-12

gan taking Doan's Kidney Pills I
passed a gravel stone as big as a pea.
At intervals the stones kept passing
from me. passed eleven IN one day.
Doan's Kidney Pills finally cured me.
My health returned and I have had
nc Kidney trouble since"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by druggists and general
storekeepers everywhere. Price 500
Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo, N. Y.